davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

RIVAL ANECDoTRs.-Dr. Robert Cham
bers tells the following story, which he
had from Rev. w. McGregor, of Ster-
ling: Mr.. Finlayson, Town Clerk of
Sterling in the latter part of the seven-
teenth century, was noted for the mar
velous in conversation. He was on
visit to the last Earl of Monteith and
Airth, in his castle Of Talla, on the Loeb
of MOnteith, and was about taking leave,
when he was asked by the Earl whether
he had seen the sailing cherry tree.
mo- said Finlayson. "What sort of
thing is it?' 'It is, replied the Earl,
''a tree that has grown out Of a goose's
mouth from stone that the bird had
swallowed, and which she bears about
with her in her voyage round Loch. 1t
is now in full fruit of the most exquisite
flavor Finlayson,' he added, "can
you, with all your powers of memory,
and fancy, match my story of the cherry
tree p perhaps l can. said Finlayson,
clearing his throat, and adding; when
Oliver Cromwell was at Airth, one of
his cannon sent ball to Sterling, and
lodged it in the mouth of a trumpet,
which one of the troopers in the castle
was in the act of sounding "Was
the trumpeter killed p asked the Earl.
mo, my lord" replied Finlayson, de-
termined to outdo, che blew the ball
back, and killed the artilleryman who
fired it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
SCIENCE AGAINST STRENGTH.

SCIENCE AGAINST STRENGTH.
The Hartford Times tells the follow
ing amusing incident which occurred in
that city, and will interest the disciples
of '.the manly art, whilst it confirms
the proverb that the ''battle is not al
ways to the strong"
"Some twelve or fifteen years ago, at
the time ''Jack Nelson had a gymnasium
and gave lessons in boxing. in Ely's
block, on Main street. a man by the
name of BILLY" Nj, having join
ed Nelson's boxing class, wanted to find
some one whom he could practice with
between the lessons. With this purpose
in view. he went to his friend J., and
proposed to give him lessons in the man.
ly art of self defense as soon as he him
self had been instructed. Billy argued
that he could impart the instructions to
his friend '.free gratis for nothing" be-
sides having an opportunity to improve
in skill. So as soon as he got his first
lesson, he hurried away to show j. how
easy it was to become Heenan. He got
the doubling J. up in front of him, and
giving him some good advice, placed
himself in an attitude of defense, and
said to j.:
Now strike at my head with all your
might
''But." protested J., ''we have no
gloves, and [ should be sure to hurt you" :"
''I'll risk it, )" laughingly replied Bill
ly. Nelson has already taught me how
to parry Strike out hard, and | will
show you what science can do
j. still hesitated. 1t didn't appear to
his unsophisticated mind that he could
strike at man with all his might with
out hitting him, and hurting him at that
Besides, he had due regard for his own
safety. Billy might in the enthusiasm
of a handsome parry, counter on his (J's)
prominent proboscis, or startle into ac-
tivity~the contents of his bread basket,
or cause one or both eyes to go in to
mourning. But his fears were at once
dispelled by a promise from Billy that
he would act wholly on the defensive,
and by further assurances tnat it was
absolutely impossible for an inexperi-
enced person like J. to hit him.
Don't be afraid" exclaimed Billy
''strike hard You can't hit me. Strike
at my head l''
And while he was speaking, Us left
hand shot out like the leg of kicking
mule, and Billy went backwards and fell
like log. J. saw that his left hand was
cut badly, but he sprang forward to as
sist Billy to his feet. The latter. how
ever, struggled up without aid, and witt
a thumb and forefnger ransaeking his
mouth as if searching for something, ht
emphatically remarked, employing hi
favorite oath-all insuficiency ! sYo1
struck me with the wrong hand l''
Billy had only been drilled in tn,
right parry, and forgot to mention tn
fact to the awkward J. What Billy wa
searching for in his mouth. he found OIL
the floor It was tooth The scar OF
Us hand was caused by coming in con
tact with that tooth. But J. ought t
have known better than to strike frien,
in the mouth with the wrong hand. Bill
ly never took the remaining eleven les
sons. Somehow he lost his appetite fo
boxing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
ONE OF COUGHS STORIES.

A minister of the gospel told me, in
1874, that member of his congregation
came home, for the first time, intoxicat-
ed, and his boy met him on the door
step, clapping his hands and exclaiming,
"Papa has come home ~ He seized that
boy by the shoulder, swung him around,
staggered, and fell into the hall. That
minister said to me q could give you
his name if necessary y 81 spent the
night in that house. | went out, barred
my brow that the night air might cool
it. | walked out, and down the hill.
There was his child dead there was
his wife i'll strong commissions, and he
asleep. A man but thirty years of age
asleep, with dead child IN the house,
having blue mark upon the temple
where the corner of the marble steps had
come in contact with his head as he
swung him round, and wife on the
brink Of the grave.
"Mr. Cough, p" said my friend, q ours
ed the drink. He had told me that l
must remain till he awoke, and l did.
When he awoke he passed his hand over
his face and exclaimed;
What is the matter Where am l I?
Where is my boy
'tYou cannot see him..
Where is my boy % he inquired.
"You cannot see him.
''Stand out of my way. will see
my boy" To avoid confusion ! took
him to the child's bedside, and as /
turned down the sheet and showed him
the corpse, he uttered a Shrek oh
my child"
That minister said further to me,
one year after that he was brought from
lunatic asylum to lie side by side with
his wife in one grave, and ] attended
his funeral The minister Of the Cos.
pei who told me that fact is to-day a
drunken hostler in stable in Boston.
| Suspicion and distrust are enemies tc
friendship.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

so large that all got on it. The lover
rendered her no assistance at ali. 1t
bore them to the head of the island, and
as good fortune would have it, the stream
between it and the Missouri shore was
frozen over, and they crossed without
difficulty. They reached tavern near
the river and after changing their wet
garments and becoming warm at good
fire, the lover hinted to the young lady
that 1t was time for them to have the
knot tied, as the magistrate had arrived
for that purpose, and was in the next
room. She gave him most whitening
look of contempt, and declared she never
would unite her destiny with one who
was selfish and cowardly. 1t was in vain
that he attempted by entreaty and argu-
ment to change her resolution-she was
immovable, and replied to him with
scorn. A few days afterwards she re-
turned to the house of her guardian,
thankful that she had escaped marrying
a man whose only object was her for
tune. Her lover returned to this side
of the river also, but such showers of
ridicule and contempt were bestowed
upon him, that he found it best to de-
camp, which he did, leaving behind him
host of unpaid demands The story
has this moral, that young ladies should
be careful with whom they run away.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
AN ARK MARRIAGE,

At Big Irooiz, Arfkor1eao' ehoJ heSr0 O
peculiar fashion which sometimes proves
embarrassing. As there is no preacher
within thirty miles, the way for marry
ing is kissing across a table. Recently
a New York drummer was out there He
put up at a private house and became
quite intimate. One evening he was
fooling around one of the girls trying,
generally trying the extent of her sweet
temper, when she gave his whiskers a
pull and ran. He followed. She got
the table between them. He chased her
around it several times When out of
breath he stopped on the other side,
making wild plunge, caught her in his
arms and gave her a hearty kiss. She
then sat down on the sofa, and they
talked pleasantly for couple of hours
he thinking it singular that she should
sit up so late.
At last she said, Don't you think it's
about time we went to bed p
4 guess you are right he remarked,
lets 60
She lit candle, and he was about to
do the same, when she said, Il reckon
ones enough. One candle will light two
folks to bed
Undoubtedly it would when those
two people occupy the same room. But
your candle won't illuminate my cham
ber'
Amt we going to occupy the same
room ! Amt we married =
Amt we what q shouted the gentle
man.
Married Didn't you, kiss me across
the table ? That married u.s.
A cold sweat spread over the drum
mer He kney that if he said he WASH t
married to her she would make an out
cry, and then her loving and much to-
bacco- consuming father would arise in
his wrath and carve him into outlets,
and her brothers would bring down their
shot guns and empty the contents into
him. He must be strategic He must
put her off. So be said
'Fairest of your sex, permit me to re-
mark that | did not know that kissing
across the table constituted marriage
ceremony. But | am content, [ have
never seen one who so completely filled
my ideal of a beautiful, sweet, loving
and modest woman. However, [ would
never think of holding you to this mar
riage until | had asked the permission
of your father to pay my addresses tc
you. Tomorrow, at dinner, when the
entire family are present, | will propost
for your fair hand
This satisfied the lady. and after be
slowing upon him a ferVent kiss sh,
, went to her room and he went to his
, He packed his carpet bag, took off hi
big boots, and made tracks for the near
est railway station. He didn't feel en-
, tirely safe until he reached st. Louis
He hasn't informed his wife of this littl
: adventure. He's afraid she might writ
to Arkansas for the facts in the case
!; and then he might get arrested for big
: amy. Women sometimes won listen t
reason, you know.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
A SPIRITED GIRL.

| have just fallen upon piece of an
American newspaper apparently about
1880 in which is mentioned the follow
ing incident, respecting spirited girl
of seventeen in illinois. She was an
heiress to an estate valued at ten thou
sand dollars, and ran away with a young
man who paid his addresses to her, tax
ing with her an acquaintance as brides
maid. Her guardian believed her lover
to be wholly unworthy of her, and refus-
ed his consent to her marriage so she
went off to be married at a distance from
home, on the further side Of the Miss
issippi. When the party reached the
river. the ice was running furiously, and
an attempt to cross would be full of dan
ger A boat being procured, the young
lady, in momentary expectation of being
followed by her guardian, wished in
stantly to push from the shore, and all
embarked on the perilous voyage. The
party had nearly reached the head of an
island, nearly third of the distance
from the opposite shore, when the cur
rent became more rapid, the cakes of ice
very large. and their situation extremely
dangerous. The lover, excessively fright
ened, and forgetful of every one but his
own dear self, bawled out in the most
piteous accent, 20, shall be drowned p
and bitterly reproachcd bis lady love
as the cause of his probable death. She
uttered not word-her courage and
presence Of mind seemed to. increase
with the peril A tremendous cake Of
ice fairly capsized the boat, but it was
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
THE ANNUNCiATON.
by CLARA p. JoSLYN.

have read the oldcn story
Oi a taI-off distant CLINE,
And the brightness of its glory
Lin%crs through the mists of time.
Twas 40 fairy land ideal
Pictured DER with iaucys pen;
Bat its hills and Wales were cal
Filled with homes of living men.
on the plains serene and peaceful,
While the crowded city slept;
Ol'r their ii0rts the shepherds faithful,
Meath the skies their vigils kept.
Read l. in this ancient story.
How an angel form they saw.
Radiant with such wondrnus glory.
That their hearts are filled with awe.
Smiling. splk,. the heavenly stranger:
Fear not joyful news bring:
Lo this day. within a manger.
Lies the Savior. christ, your King.
On the grand hrl-an mountains,
Zen the rrNrreat winds were stayed;
Softer played ihe murmurng fountains,
AS his TOMS such music made.
Then throng of angels. praising,
Hover near, on joyous wing;
Will the holy song they're raising:
GLORY to the newborn King.
Praise ;into onI God he given
Peace on earth to men good will
Chanting thus, they soar to heaven,
And once more the plain is still.
lid the shepherds linger, waiting
Doubling if the words were true
No-with eager steps they hasten
Till the Holy Child they view.
Still is ours this wondrous story
Yet to-day, this Saviour lives;
Though we may not view His glory,
Many token true he gives.
Ont of weakness, strength would flourish.
Were this thought but kept in view:
o that we the faith might cherish,
Bethlehem's humble shepherds knew.
-FKoM GREEN MOUNTAIN POETS.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
PENSIONS AND ROMESTEADS.

Any soldier can recover pension,
varying in amount according to the de-
gree of disability, if disabled but
partially by disease, wounds or other
injuries incurred in line of duty. Many
believe that only those suffering from
a0ounds can collect pensions. This is
mistake. All soldiers are entitled, if
they prove their disability, of whatever
nature, was contracted in the line of du-
ty and United States service At this
late day, many of the officers having
died, or become scattered, it is exceed
ingly difficult to collect the evidence
necessary to establish claims. In order
to provide against the allowance of
fraudulent claims, the Pension Bureau
is compelled to scrutinize with the ut
most care each-item of testimony now
presented.
1t is so much easier to plumber the
public through the Government than to
rob it individually, that the prospect of
gain through false claims presents ire
sistible attractions to unscrupulous per-
sons, and it has become so difficult to
distinguish the fraudulent cases from
those that are meritorious, that the Bu-
reau is often unjustly accused of a lack
of inclination to dispose promptly of the
cases pending. If the chaff could be
readily separated from the wheat there
would be no cause of complaint
The laws have been so amended as to
make it very difficult for an attorney to
defraud claimant. In bounty cases,
before the claim is settled. vouchers are
required to be signed by the applicant,
giving the attorneys name and address
and the applicants address On these
vouchers check for ten per cent. is
sent to the attorney for his fee, and the
balance of the bounty is sent direct to
the claimants address, in a separate
check to his order. The soldier should
see that his correct address is inserted
in the papers. In pension claims, the
certificate in settlement is forwarded to
the United States Pension Agent, who
is instructed as to the amount of the
attorneys fee, which is deducted from
the Pension and transmitted by the
Pension Agent to the attorney. Notices
of settlement are always sent both to
the claimant and attorney by the Pen
sion Office.
An impression appears to prevail that
every soldier who served during the late
war is entitled to warrant for 100
acres of land. The subject has been
frequently agitated in Congress. and
numerous bills have been introduced
but a careful scrutiny of their provls
ions has generally revealed the fact that
they were so worded as to be of far
more benefit to spectators than to the
soldier, and they failed to pass.
Under the homestead act of June 8,
1872, every honorably discharged SOL
dier or sailor who served ninety days is
entitled to enter 100 acres of land but
in order to acquire a title he must COM
mence his improvements within six
months from the time of making the
entry, and he must reside upon, improve
and cultivate his homestead for period
at least one year after he shall have
commenced his improvements. Under
no other circumstances are soldiers OIL
their heirs entitled to land for services
rendered during the war of the rebel
lion.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

The New York World is showing up
the adulterations which are so largely
responsible for intemperance in the use
of liquor 1t might be thought that
the admixture of water would have no
injurious results, but its use necessitates
the addition of noxious ingredients to
make up for loss of color, flavor, consist
ency, brilliancy. and strength consequent
upon such dilution. Fusel-oil, which is
extensively employed in authorizations,
produces EQUALIZATION of which pure
liquor is Incapable. Besides this ingre-
dent. which gives fiery force to diluted
spirits. alum, the subcabonatc Of potash
and sugar of lead are used to add color,
and oil of vitriol to produce a bcady
effect. while Cayenne pepper and para
disc seed give fire and strength. These
are only a few of the Ingredients used,
but the extent of the injury they cause
shows the necessity for an adulteratlon
act like that which in England has been
found an efficient agent in the cause Of
temperance.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

A woman abused her husband, and
snubbed him in every direction. She
never allowed him to receive company;
but one day, wher some of her friends
came unexpectedly, she ordered him un-
der the bed. He went meekly, but held
up a corner of the spread. Drop that p
she cried, stamping her foot; drop it
this minute Do you suppose I'm going
to let YOU look out 2 i don't care what
you allow said the poor fellow with
the rashness Of despair; but whatever
you do. I'm going to look out of here as
long as | have the spirit of man !!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23


Hon. T. w. PARK AND LITTLE EN-
Mat must be allowed that Mr. Park
makes out pretty strong case in his
favor, but the charges against him were
grave and explicit; and, as they have
gone several months unanswered, there
are many who acquired the belief that
Hon. Mr.. Park and Little Emma" arc
no better than they ought to be. They
are not the first unfortunates who are
popularity supposed to have lost their
characters by travelling too far on a
steamer, and we sincerely hope they
may both find them again without being
obliged to 60 either to reformatory IN
stitution or State Capital.
A few weeks ago several papers in
his State, some of them Republicans
and some Democratic, officially announc-
ed that Mr.. Park was not in the field
for Governor at all, and that all refec-
tions upon his character were conse-
quently gratuitous. From the fact that
he has waited until this time to make
his vindication, and from his digresssion
and homily in regard to railroad matters
at the close Of his letter, we conclude
that he is still in the field. If be is, it
will. of course, be perfectly proper for
him to continue to make presents of
building lots to Catholic societies, and
munifcent donations to educational in
stitutions. Richtord Sentinel.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

The Detroit Free Press says: About
IL o'clock Friday night policeman
met negro carrying a trunk along La
fayette street, east, and thinking he had
discovered an item. he collared the ne
gro and told him to drop that trunk and
explain. L kin do it, sab, replied the
stranger, as he put the trunk down.
DE family that was boarding me has
been akin for money, and as dey was
gone out tonight, | thought I'd git into
some family whar dey respected de pan
ic.' He was allowed to 60 on.
A young lady who prides herself on
her propriety, lately wrote home to her
parents regarding her boarding school
associates. She said ''1he girls are
awful slangy. One Of them told me the
first day ! came here that ] had better
walk off on nay ear The little chit !
/ felt just like putting tin roof on her.
And they use such disgusting phrases,
as you bet, and bully. ] have pitched
into them several times for their slang,
but they tell me to cheese it. and If
they go on in this way | shall cit up
and git, you bet"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
=. sTA&I5ljiiD,

1sVmE SAME OLD CHAP AS EVER always
: Hauj 1T his Post of Trade where Every man
Loves Trade for Goods in his line such as HARNESS
and Iuware Livery Stable and Groceries, Vlctualses
at his House. aud Clipper Scythes with other Eatabes,
and good place for travellers horses at his barn.
lrasbuTgli. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

w. l.. RUSSELL,
NEALER IN DRUGS, Medicines, Dye Stufts Sta
I : tioueiy Blank Books, Candies Cigars, Tobacco
Toet Soap Fancy Articles and all the Popular Patent
M.lieines. IrasbuFgh, VI 2-24@
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

DROPRIETOR IRAsBURGH HOUSE, Irasburgh,
j Vt. good Livery in connection with the
House Stage leaves for Barton Landing Depot twice
a dov 2-24o
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
NIISCELLANEOUS,
LAnIsaN COWLEs.

MADISON CDtNLES,
WILL KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND ALL
w the latest styles of ready-made Cofns Caskets;
Burial Robes and Trimmings of every description
Terms reasonable. West Albany, VT
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

IL. y. OlsNE,
nEALER IN FURNITURE, COFFINS AND
- CASKETS, Irasburgh, Vt. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
T.. Ii. THOMPSON

w. ID. TYLER,
4 TTORNEY, COUNSELLOR AND SOLICITOR.
N Also Insurance Agent, IrasbuTgh Vt. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

D. L. DWINELL,
I y EALER IN DRY GOODS, CLOTHING, HATS.
u Caps and General Merchandise. The celebrated
ST. Leon Water on hand and for sale.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

! PROPRIETOR UNION HOUSE. STAGE LEAVES
J. for Montpelier Mondays, Wednesdays and Fri
lays, and for Barton twice day.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
y. Ng. POWELL.

4 TTORNEY, COUNSELLOR AND SOLICITOR
N Also Bounty and Pension Agent, lrasburgh, VT
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

.J.E. DWINELL.
Z MANUFACTURER and dealer in Furniture of all
vi kinds and descriptions, Carpets, Room Paper
utns and fixtures, also Cofins and Caskets Picture
ames Spring Beds sc. Glover Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23
GLOVER,
T.. L. FOSTER,

c. L. FRENCH, NJ. D.,
nHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

n. NJ SCOTT,
i PROPRIETOR GLOVER FIGURING MILLS.
i Best Brands Family Flour always on hand Also
Corn and other feed. N B. Particular attention paid
to Custom Grinding. o36
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

p r. KENDALL,
4 TTORNEY. BARTON LANDING, VERMONT.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

]. W. SCOTT,
{\EALER IN HARNESSES, RIDING BRIDLES.
- Collars and Horse Clothing Blankets, &c. All
kinds Of trimming,-Rubber and Leather Covered
Plated, Timed, Japanned and Gold Plate. Repairing
promptly attended to.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-03-23

MRS. j. P. SARTLE
I Z AS RECENTLY OPENED FANCY GOODS
II Store at Barton Landing in Austin 1t Joslyn s
ocs, where she will do Millinery and Dress Fitting IN
Tine latest and approved styles. For further notice
See bills
o3-l3 Barton Landing, Sept. %, 1878.