The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-08-28

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Jewsharp Jack says Titus is the most
costive sewing machine man in town.
Knox Butte Grangers IRE erecting a
commodious hall, four miles, east of this
city.
Mrs. Cheadle and daughter have re-
turned from the Bay, much ihvigor-
ated.
The spanking period Is appropriately
alluded to as the palm-y days of child
hood.
The Recorder has out notices for
sealed proposals for digging awell for
the city.
:, Jerry Winter is doing ap artistic job
of painting in the establishment of
Henry Myer
A Soy defines salt as the stuff that
makes potatoes taste bad when you
don't put any on.
John Blevins has returned from q
visit to Kentucky, bringing several
immigrants with him.
Fly to the coast, ye bilious; to. the
mountains, ye consumptive; and to the
print shop ye delinquent.
For three different varieties of plums
all ofmost delicious hayor-our office
force is indebted to Martin Miller.
Why is Gird's fine colt devoted
astronomer? Because it is a famous
lover OF the "milky way" (Gosh.)
1t is now time for our merchants and
their clerks to again organize chain
gang and clean up 10 front of their
stores.
Mrs. Mattel Hoon and family have
returned to their Walla Walla home
after a protracted visit to friends in
this city.
Somebody burglarized Frank Mil
lers house, in Bovine Pouch, last week,
getting away with watch and a clean
boiled shirt.
Ifthere is one time more than another
when q woman should be entirely alone
it is when line full of clothes comes
down in the mud.
An Albany man has signed the
pledge; with reservation that he may
drink whisky for snake bite. He gets
frequent bites.
We can't tell o lie-lotsof delinquent
subscribers had better pay up If they
don't want to get into Beecher-Tilton
scrape with this estab.
Geo. Weller, Billy Miller, William
Tally and Geo. Burkhart have returned
from the mountains, loaded to the
guards. with bear and venison.
Tapp, the horse trainer, will again
open out his menageria in this city in
a couple of weeks. He is an eminent
success in his most valuable calling.
Stroud is falling away because Of
Christian anxiety atthe total depravity
of the Albany hoodlums. He contem-
plates their latter end with horror and
despair.
Our dear old friend "Mayor" Pilbeah,
of Newport-on- Yaquiha, sent to us by
Mrs. Cheadle fine supply of fresh sal
mon, for which we weep much saline
gratitude.
This issue of the DEMOCRAT is the
'last rose of summer" and next weeks
number win usher In the season Of the
"sere and yellow leaf' and other warm
bed clothes.
S. J. Archibald has the thanks Of the
DEMOCRAT family for a rare treat In
the plum line. They were the finest
assortment yet thrown in sight at these
newspaporial apartments.
Messrs. E. D. Sloan and Geo. Young
are erecting DIR. Plummer's new busi-
ness house, on First street. It's dimen-
sions are to be 2Ox4O, and it will be
used as a drug store, we believe.
We saw a youngster last Tuesday
trying to initiate the horse tanner,
Tapp, but some how the youth got a
tap from the colts heels which salts
fed him that he wasn't success in
that line.
Mr.. Dickens told story of a young
lady who, being intensely loved by five
young men, was advised to jump over
board and marry the one who jumped
in after her. Accordingly, next morn
ing, the Eve lovers being on deck, and
looking very devotedly at the young
lady, she plunged into the sea head
foremost. -Four of the lovers imme-
diately jumped in after her When
the young lady and fourlovers were out
again. she says to the Captain, "What
am to do with them now, they are SO
wet?" "Take the dry one." And the
young lady did, and married him.