The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-09-05
THE RADICAL COUNTY CONVENTION.
Or Office Seekers Annual squabble,
Slaughter Of the Innocents.
The Ticket.

Office seekers radical Office holders, radical
third termers, friends of Beechcr and admir-
ers OF Tilton, or Elizabeth, or all of 'em, to
say nothing OF hackers, aiders, abetters, broth
ers-ln-law, &c, met at the Court house and
proceeded to attend to the business of max
ing a county ticket, and turning it over to
the tender mercies Of the people at the COM
ing election.
The convention, or mob, or :uot, or what
ever il was, came to degree of comparative
stiffness at . O'Clock F. NJ, and Loosh Crooker,
Of Mendoza, was called to the char. Loosh
spread himself out wide in speech, during
which he attended to the American eagle
thirteen times Loosh wasn't tight but scared,
and pounded the region where his heart is
supposed to be few times, to show how his
feelings gushed out towards the convention,
'for the distinguished honor, &C."
VIM. Cullen and kinaldo Williams were ap-
pointed Secretaries
While committee on credcntial were out
Ideciphering the hisroglyphics on different
certificates of delegates, we glanced around
the room. We observed that the back seats
were filled with spectators, mainly Indepen-
dents ard Democrats, or Republicans who
had cut loose from third term-ism, Grant
rings, credit mobilier, back pay, railroad SUBJ
sidy and other jobs, Here were the intelli-
gent heads. AS you approached the front
intelligence seemed to rapidly wane. Heads
began to wither into angular, lll-shaped little
deformities Noses began to assume any
thing but graceful outlines and harmonious
proportions. Some turned scornfully up.
ward; others persistently pointed away, and
not few were apparently driven up into an
ignominious pug Then there were blear
eyes, rheumy eyes, little blinking cat-eyes,
timld sleeps eyes, and enormous moony or
wall eyes, shining only by borrowed light.
And then, gracious heavings," what ears!
These ears and all their popularity of phys
ical detormity increased toward the front I'm
til you glanced upon the chair, and then we
felt relieved. There was Loosh, the embodi-
ment of sylphlike grace, fawn like "timidity,"
lamb-lke gentleness, and Apollo-like beauty!
But yet, rs one viewed him, there was sort
of potato-bug cussedness about him that
seemed to "set him back" little.
CANDIDATES.
The candidates were numerous. There
was the tall form of Mcintyre towering like
a stork among SD many tree frogs, and not
quite as tall, but even as fierce as We vora
cious lion was the noble form of Stevens.
His eagle nose and the fierce flashes of his
eye plainly told that he wanted to be Sheriff
There, too, were ten or fifteen candidates
for representative, and among them our Dal-
ton, of Streator. Free. was lively and
strong and willing candidate. He was a tenn
perance champion. He had nearly the en-
tire temperance vote of the county pledged
TO him. But for the good of the party in
order to ring. in some other elements that 1t
was thought Geo Ryon, of Sreator, could
manage better, Fred gave way in Ryon's
favor, anu then Ryon was coolly slaughtered,
willy Fred Dalton would have been nomln-
ated
ORGANIZATION.
The committee on credentials reported all
the towns represented but dozen or two, and
to fill out, spectators from SIX towns who hap
pened to be present, were "gobbled up" just
as the Sheriff seizes talesmen on a jury and
forced into the convention as delegates from
other towns, thereby giving them honors
which their constituents had failed or refused
10 confer upon them!
The temporary organization was made per
and Croker made speech. lie
wanted the convention to stand by him and
he would lean up against il. He wished 1t
that lie had made most eloquent
speech of thanks. He wiped his organ OF
ideality and sat down. Here number OF
motions we're piled up in such confusion that
the chair became fearful Of "snarl" and IN
formed the audience that this thing would
run into the ground if lie permitted so many
notions and amendments. He thought 1t
letter to table the whole business and have
new deal. Taking fresh start nominations
Ior
SHERIFF.
ycre in order Burwell, Of Seneca, named
Mcintyre, who in the previous hu5'bub had
,een nut up, and some one announced the
name OF stevens, Of the La Sale Press,
md Immediately another party withdrew
.s,eve.s" name and lett Mac clear field.
Snice- moved that Sheriff Mcintyre be nom
mated by acclamation and it was done.
CORONER.
For tins Office, DR.. Monroe, Of Leland, Dr.
Hurst. of Streaior, and DR.. Bascom, of Oita-
wa. were brought out An informal ballot
WAS had. and after progressing some ways, it
WAS discovered that one town had voted by
he chairman OF lis delegation, and thai each
delegate of that town had also voted on his
,vn hook. The chairman of the convention
4, first 90, ;he subject mixed up in the com.
plicaled machinery of his intellect, but as
-, ..- L., -.,t rbrof,yb II u~pmufly declared