The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-06-06
WIT AND WISDOM.

An experienced Old gentleman says that
love or sausages is confidence.
New York merchant absent -mindedlv
copied love-letter to his hearts idol" ia
the letter-book of the firm before sending
it.
A matter-of-fact Old gentleman thinks it
must be a very small base ball that can ~
caught on fly.
Quarrels would never last long II thr
fault was on one side only.
"Goin' thro' the rye" j. suggested a.
song for the female temperance crusaders.
Anything Midas touched was turned to
gold. In these days, touch a man with
gold, and he'll turn into anything.
It il good ground for divorce il 81
Lonis if wife finds one hundred aud
thirteen love-lettcrs from a redheaded
woman IN her husband pocket.
Waiter (to Old .seut At restauraut) Take
any pastry, sir Old Gent (to waiter .-
Yei, bring TIE pancake ; wIll 1t be long
Waiter. No, sir round.
boy, is that a licensed dog M asked 4
Detroit Policeman mo" said the
I'm taking him down ~ have his teeth
filed
The following advri tisemrnt appeared
recently in Az English paper ''St. James
Church. On sunday next the afternoon
service will commence at half-past three
and continue until further notice
lmpertinent dandy "a stranger). -"M May
have the honor tu accompany you,
miss p Cool" young lady Certainly
but keep behind, in your proper place
discharged my last fn"tntn fnr imperti
nance.
Tennessee lady presented her husband
with twins, and III due season added trip
let's. Dear sir - exclaimed an aston
ished neighbor III s'pose Mrs Stebbins
will have quadruPeds next, and then cen
tipedes -
A gentleman met 4 half-witted lad IN
the road, and placing IN one Of his hand
a sixpence and a penny, asked him which
of the two he would choose The lad re-
Piled that he wouldn't be greedy he'd
keep the littlest
As two children were playing together,
little Jane got angry and pouted. Johnny
said to her, Look ont, Jane, or l'll take
seat up there on your lips. '"Then,
replied Jane, quite cured Of her pOuts,
Fiji laugh, and You'll fall Ud
A darky was once attempting to steal
goose, but dog raised an objection, and
Sambo retired. The next night during \
thunder shower he attempted It again and
Just as he was on the point Of getting
away with his fowl the lightning STRUCK
close by, and the noise nearly frightened
the poor fellow 70 death. Dropping the
goose, he started away, muttering,
Peers ter me der am a mighty lot Of
fuss made bout a common goose.
Temperance Inducement. Cheerful
Agent for Life Assurance Company The
advantage Of otU company is, that You do
not forfeit your policy either by being
hanged OF committing suicide Pray take
a prospectus
A fashionable milliner Gn Punch
you'll have the flower on the left side of
the bonnet, Of course, madam I" Fashion
able lady "Well-er-N The fact is.
there's pillar ON the left side of my pew
in church, 40 that only the right side ~
my head is seen by the congregation. OF
course | could change my pew n Fashion
able lady's husband ''Ya-as. Or even
the church, you know, if necessary.
fashionable milliner considers.)
Some philosopher, who evidently knows
how It rs himself, interprets dreams as fol-
lows
If man dreams the devil is after him,
1t Is sign he had better settle his sub
scription bill
If he dreams of an earthquake, and a
turmoil generally, It is a sign that he b.
going to get married
If he (belng a married man) dreams Of
some fearful mysterious danger, it is a sign
that ms mother-ln-law is coming to spend
few days with her darling daughter
II he dreams that his head is in danger,
and his hair all falls out, is ~ a sign that
he had better know all the policemen.
II he dreams of making fool Of him
self, it is a true sign that il il 20.
st. Teresa writes "The cross is felt by
those who take It up unwilhngly but not
by those who willingly embrace it.
One Is not bound in all cases to be az
funny as he can Use wholesome discre-
ton Thus, when your worthy clergyman,
who may be honest and deserving, if not
brilliant, contides to you in moment Of
overwhelming modesty that he sometimes
thinks he has mistaken his calling, it is fAe
from necessary for You, who are one Of the
pillars Of his church, t. reply that you
think 50 as often A. every Sunday.