Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-11-20
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4)nmorous Sl,tttbrs.

had been there scarcely all hour when one
of the prOprietOrs gained the ear of our
heroine, and informed her that hard by
was one Of the finest, largest, and best
raspberry patches he ever saw or heard tell
Of why, they could just scoop them
up" sc. lie urged upon her the necessity
of the berries being plucl,ed immediately,
as trey were dead ripe, millions of them.
She was delighted at the prospect Of going
for the berries, but when she asccrtained
that our hero was bent on acting as guide,
then her ardOr became dampened. How
ever, they started.
We bid adieu to any further description
of the novel love scene, ,and now follows the
conversation in which a mountaineer WOO
ed former city belle, whom two hours
before he had seen, showing the absurdity
Of the old ''faint heart and fair LADY,
business.
Say, do you see them fences 2
"Oh, yes they are nice fences"
"Well. them fences is ourn."
Whose -
My pard's and mine-half is mine and
hall is his'n and those fields is ourn too,
and the house, and stock, and chickens,
and mortgage, and all the ranch is ourn--
half is mine and half is his'n."
"Ah, indeed -
''Yes-and you don't know how much
we cot in the bank besides; and if ] was
10 GET wife you bet I'd get more than
halG. And | suppose you don't know that
| am the best hunter and guide in the
Rocky Mountains Well, am, and what
is more, have enough quartz to buy out
ali the postofiices in Montana, and pay for
running them beside. Why, have a for
tune just in one mine alone. The boys
tell me its brass mine, but, if it ain't
that, it's good quartz, anyhow, and don't
don't you think / ought to get mar
ried 2"
"Most assuredly / do. \ young man
possessing your wealth and good looks
should not hesitate about entering into ma
trimony. | am surprised to think YOU are
still single. Are you -
"Well. yes, / suppose so. But say, do
you see them granaries ? Well, | just
have enough grain over yonder to last two
years, and so you see l can stanG off the
grasshopperS one year anyhow. And you
needn't be afraid OF Injuns up here; they
don't come this high up--and say, don't
YOU want to marry ne ? There, now"
"Oh. sir. wby-why This i 50 uneXpect-
ed. you know, and Lesides, II should
deem it my duty 10 inform you that am
engaged to be married to gentleman in
the States. / regret that your affections
are not bestowed on some young lady who
is heart-free. Please DO not refer TO the
subject again.
"Well, l wouldn't have done 50 now,
only heard as how you didn't talk pretty
TO nice got-up Bozeman chap, and told
him you didn't want TO marry him nohow,
and ! supposed after that / stood good
show Of catching you myself And--and
iraisiug lis voice there's the raspberry
patch over there, and, come TO think Of it
i don't think they are as thick now as
they used TO be. - Montana 4rQpt CG,,57cr.
"BREAKFAsT for ninety-nine," said
waiter to 4 verdant clerk at an hotel not
long ago. Thunder - said the clerk,
eve can't do it, The waiter explained
that nineiy-nine WAS the number of the
room.
HORSE dealeT.-''I know You don't like
his 'ead, and l allow he aint got purity
'ead but lor', now, look at Gladstone. the
man in all England, and look at
is lead -
This is the latest form of wedding invita-
tons: Come around and see me capture
a mothcr-in-law at : O'Clock, sharp
TIE lazy school-boy who spelled Andrew
Jackson "&ru JaXon'' has been equaled
by a student who wished TO mark half
dozen new shirts. lie marked the frs:
''John Jenes. '' and the rest "do."
PAT said a joker. why don't you get
your ears cropped They are much too
long for man. And yours, rsplied Pat,
ought TO be heightened they are to short
Cor an ass
Az Irishman recently stopped at hotel
in Des Noines, Iowa, where pretty high
bills were charged. In the morning the
landlord made out the amount of damages
and presented it to Pat. After he had
glanced over it the latter looked the land
lord in the face and exclaimed 'Ye put
me in mind OF a snipe.' why 2 asked the
landlord. because ye're very nigh all
bill
An old beau, who aped, iuveniliiy, was
seated in an omnibus, when a young mo-
ther got in, accompanied by her nurse and
her six months old baby. The infant
smiled at the old gentleman, when be gra-
ciOUsly returned the smile to the baby, the
nurse, and the charming young mother.
Look, ma'am, said the nurse to her mis-
tress, how baby laughs at the gentleman >
'It's not at all surprising was the reply :;
'the baby takes him for his grandpapa.'
JoHN, said a clegyman to his man,
you should become teetotaller you have
l,oor, Jr;rlyir,, -, ., lo,., IN, ,.,, ,,.,