Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1874-11-28
VARIETY.

There's 20 necessity now ilF ladies 70 hold
their skirts up vhea they cross the street.
fashion has obyiated that labor.
The new fashions Ct very shor. walking
skirts is popular among those who have pretty
feet. and are glad 20 show ',m.
A western farmer complains that hook
aud ladder company has been organized Ia bis
neighborhood he states thar tie ladder Is
used after night ior climbing in'o bis chicken
house. ai,er which tie hooking is done
We never stand by when a woman cutters q
hardware store, shuts her teeth together, and
inquiries the price Of d" them eve iTon-hardlsd
rg.Eas-pius. wituou, feeling there is Test be-
yonl the grave for her husband.
A young lady Of Seigwi,k County, Kas..
alyertiscs that she will give two hundred
dollars for a young man who will love her in o
kind aud gentle manner.
Fancy tie feelings Of Mr. Parks. Of Illinois,
who. having l., down the bucket in his wsn
drew it up dripping from the depths, aud dis
covered, by the geut,e fragrance that he Lad
secured q skunk.
Girls. don't get up aad &c, breakfast IN the
mornings. a young lady attempted it one
CAY lls, week aud was burned to death
show this 20 your mas.
Punch's receipt for ,he preservation Of iurs
is excellent. Pull out al the hair5 with
twee1ers. an yAruisA The ssiu. IN The spring
remove the yaraish aud carefully stick oil tie
hairs in their oll places
Nobody sarpasses noe ia this speciality, ."
sail a Coyington sirl so her new lover IL oilsT
nieht as she gave him parting Kiss ~i;A a
report 90 it lke that Of pistol. The aston
ished youth walkedaway wondering where 'ae
eirl ct her experience
A Michigan paper advises the boysto marry
Hr love. but reminds them that Il IS just as
easy 70 love a g,rl whose pa has hundred
thousand dollars DO bank as enc whose oll man
SITS behind a pair Of halt-siaryed mules, aud
ysls Glaug Lie"
Tie wife Of sam Henry, a co'crei resident
Of Salisbury. Ml. recently became the mother
of four children. When informed u ,he fact
Sam began touake preparations fora journey
"I amt sniae % live 90 d.s salisbury DO
Longer" sad sam.
Lawyer" How DO you identity this hand
korchcis'
Wuuess-" by i,s general Appearance, and
the fac; that have others Ike ,.'
Lawyer" That's 90 proof. ior have got
one just hkeitiu my pocket
Witness iuo5ceat,y .-"I don't doubt that
as I had more than ols ,f de same sort ste
len"
Brief couoquy in Texas between a tourist
and native. Ny friend, why is 1t every
body 10 this country thinks 1t necessary TO
carry one % two rcyllgers Wen, s,rau-
ger said the Texan, You might travel around
here a good long time and not want a weapon,
bu, when you Do wau, pistol ia this country
you want i, b4l'
A Columbia Clergyman who, while preach
ing a sermon on sunday evening perceived
man aud woman under The gallery ia the &c,
Of kissing each other behind hymn book
did not lose lis temper 80 De remained
calm. ne belmed mildly a, The offenders
over bis specac.es, aud when she young man
kissed hex ths third time, De merely broke BIS
sermon short III Ia tae middle Of thirdly.
aud offered ieryens prayer ia behalf Of ,be
young man 90 the pink ueckt.e and The maid
en- 10 the blue born,, aud gray shawl, who
were r1ofauiug the sanctuary by kissing one
another ia pew IS and ihe congregation
said "amen. Then the young woman pull
Cd her yel down AMI the young m.n sat
thers aud swoEe softly 10 himself lie does
10, 60 90 church as much as be d.l
Persona, cleanliness is not invariably a
passion. even with individuals 10 the upper
ranks Of society. We have beard Of a British
general. whose aadpa,.y 90 ab.u,ioas VAS
matter Of ao,oriety among bis fs.eals and
acquaunuces. Meeting oae of die latter Jae
day. che general complained ot being uavcll
What seems o. De the matter inquired tlc
gentleman. Can't teu," said tle general.
col but 3ou', f,,, exactly pou" Allow ue
@ prescribe. said tAe gentleman. 80 oliect-
ION being offered, Ore advised tie genera. O..