The Arizona sentinel., 1874-12-05
MISCELLANY.

man So for walking in his sleep.
kissing fairs are held in Iowa
to clear off church debts. It's
ten cents per kiss.
Henry Clay describes a mule
as 'an animal that has no pride
of ancestry and no hope ofposteri
ty"
A man in Cincinnati, advertis
ing for situation, says: "WorB
is not so much an object as good
wages"
1t was a bright boy who told
his teacher there were three SCI IS
the male sex, the female sex, and
the insects.
Men who travel barefooted
around a newly carpeted bed
room often find themselves on
the wrong tack.
A lovely Delaware widow owns
two thousand acres of peach trees,
but what a pity! there's not a
pair on the premises.
1t is pitiful sight to see the
house. fly get out of bed these
mornings and hang around the
cook stove to warm his heels.
A lady correspondent of a Yves.
tern journal thinks there ought
to be a statute of Limitation
against the Temperance of long
lost husbands.
A countryman who bargained
with a California photographer
for half-length picture of him
self at half price, got a fine view
from the waistband down.
The ladies Centennial Commit
tee of Philadelphia is going to
send out a band of fifty musicians
attired in continental uniform to
give concerts in ali the States.
This singular statement ap-
pears in one of our exchanges
that Gen. Sheridan won't marry
because he don't want to give
up the privilege of going to bed
with his boots on.
Eyes, Job suffered some," said
an Illinois deacon, shut he never
knew what it was to have his
team run away and kill his wife
right in the busy season, when
hired girls want three dollars a
week" .
The Matrimonial Help SOcie-
ty" idea is spreading. An organi-
Zation of the kind was recently
formed in a Connecticut town, and
every old maid in the place and
every widow under go years of
age joined it the first day.
Smith and Jones were at the
menagerie, and the conversation
turned on Darwin's theory. "LOok
at the monkey" said Smith
"think of its being an undevelop-
ed human" Human % said
Jones, contemptuously; Its nc
more human than I ami"
- Twin sisters living at South
Bethlehem, Pa, each gave birth
to twins several nights ago with
in a few hours of each other
These sisters were married on the
same day; their first children
were born on the same month
their second in the same week
and their third in the same hour.
A Louisville eXcursionist on a
Lake Champlain boat recently
went asleep on deck, and in the
morning couldn't find his shoes.
"Where did you put them?''
asked sympathizing friend. 81
opened that little cupboard and
laid them on the SHELF" he re-
piled. The victim had opened
the Wheelhouse, and laid his
shoes on the paddle wheel. The
captain said he thought the
wheelsstarted uncommon hard"
The Country School Marin" is
thus described by Josh Billings;
'She is invariably just about
twenty-three years six months
old and remains rite thare for a
term ov years. She wears her
hair either kut short or hanging
around in ringlets, and liz as pre-
else in all things az one ov Fair
banks improved platform scales.
She never laffS out loud, and sell
dunn ever smiles, but when she
does, she does it accOrdin' to the
rules laid down by Murray for
speaking out and pronouncing
the inglish language korrecktly
She is the very essence Ov bubble
extrackted prOpriety, and would
rather be four years behind the
fashions, in her dress and bonnet
than to spell a word wrong, OF
parse a sentence inkorrecktly
She keeps a scrap book and ar