The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1874-05-02
NUMBElR..I3gs
, LT8l.I. gT7s55-T I E1TTsI q
Josh Billings On Dispapshe.e :

JOSH nliiiis, On Dlspspshe.1e ss,s
sf
Dear Baker: Ihave3beeu uraktikaE
dSpcp'ic for u years and four months. $50
1t would have been munni in mi pocket
If had been born without any stumsF
muck. sr.+t,t,,
[ have prayed upward of, one itfoae IL
sand times to be ou the Inside. like IN
ors'rIch or i travelling colporter., !. JAIL,
have seen travelling coIp ,rtsrs who, 1.
could crt az much az a goose.
have seen a goose eat till ssthoy
couldn't stand up any moro, and thea +
sl' down aud eat sum, and then lay down
and cat sum, and then roll over and essf
sum more. f2' iazS'aa eh
have tried living ,on filtered water
aud going barefoot for dispepshe, sud
that dIdn't hit the spot o ~" '2saiLs16'
have soaked at water cure establish
ncn's until was so Timber that kouldy
not Git myself back,eagain inside .osmiA
i''l Twin apparel. s. esq evs., gQlsae
| bought Il saddle hoss once who ans; ~
-ot up expressly to knre dispepshy--ha;se
was warranted to kurc the dispepahy in
% days or Kill the boss.
lie was warranted to trot harder than Il /.
trip hammer, pull wusser on q bit
stumble safer down hill than emmy other,
hoss on the foot stull.
rode the hoss until waz all over o
jelly, then sold him bride and saddle
and all for sixty eight dollers, and gos
sued by the purchaser, and had to pay
him ninety dollars and sum sents dana
scs, bekauze the hoss had the sNimshY,'
;, disease knu nothing about. Ha a
The hoss and hxings kost me 42O dol
lers gold. f. aa
kontracted for a eleven kords Of
hickory wood, kross grained, and as fall
of wrinkles az an old cows horn and
saw ed away three months on it, aud the
pile seemed to grow bigger every day.
! I finally gave away the saw, and what
~ there was left to'sayc life, end
sats asssarascd, a square victim
to the as = = ! sssSs,s
have lived side, a4a gam
bn"l"d in the sailing flood uutil was az
well picked as number one salt mack
crcl.
! have lwct at Saratoga, and taken
th" water Ii ke mill race and still had
'he d,sp p,hcc. s. .a" 'a.s5
have walked two miles before break
fast and th-n EFT slice ov dri toast and
haF the yielk ov pullet's eg; ana falt
all the time az weak as kitten thab
had inst come out oV fit. stSReIeI 4
have laid down moro than two "a
th,n5and times, and rolled over. ,couoe d aa
minute all night long, and sstlup in thsSG
ncrning like corpse. and there didn's }
nothing seem to all me amy whore sip
particular! ,Ei up sd4 90 ssi3Gtt ni7lsg
have read whole liberys on the gtnm, Il
muk and liser and when i got Gthtu:ia .
knu CRATE deal less what wa. the tnst,
ter with me than when j begun. .as,s,A
| have drauk whiskee with roots in Il
enuf to carry loG, emmy, bridge Or, saw,
mill dam iuthe country. si s,i.,s;t ~,
lave worked onAa farm, for mi yittels
and board, and dietod on fride epork aud
ri bred until was thin as the sermon
ov,a scyea days baptiss preacher. :"
have dun all these things and ten
thousand other things just as ridiklaJ,
T. and have got the old dispepshes yes,
just az natral and as thik az the pimples
IN u four year old goose. '''''i''' 'D'
e II yu :;t Il good hold 'ova thes dispep
he once you ktat never, loose it entire
Is; II will cum around once in q wnile
like a host, and if it don't skare oyu SO
much az it did once, and make you
ihnk yn are going vdie to morrow,
IT viii mkeyou feel, Just as sorry
Yours, JOSH BILLINGS.
The ha$est men have the lowest esti