South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1874-08-21

said, when you can get the boys to come here
and smoke cigars and talk politics. and you set
up a key of lager, you can count me in. ! like
the company Of the boys do" Our lady saw
that sentiment had no effect on him. So she
didn't throw herself on his neck and hug and
wet his paper collar with her tears but she took
saucer and fired il at his head, and followed il
up with cup, and ended it by Singing dish
Of strawberries on his shirt bosom Since that
time he has been an exemplary husband. Yet
he does seem very anxious for her to visit her
dear mother as often four or FIVE times a week.
1t is said that Brigham Young has made his
will, and given his friends ten children each
Tickling mules left hind leg with tooth
pick is said TO be a sure cure for the dyspepsia
The man who is venal himself believes that
everybody has his price.
There was young man in Chicago,
And he said, "May to your pa go
And ask for your hand.
And your houses and land %
This timid young man from Chicago.
There was young girl in Chicago,
Who said, off you dom let my paw go,
Your eyes will Scratch
And your hair will snatch,
And swiftly I'll make every claw 90 !"
There is IA story told of a gentleman, over
seven feet high, talented member of the bar,
and n modest good-na,ured citizen, who we think
is almost unexceled Cor his quiet delicious hui
NOR. lie was one night sitting in the stall of n
theatre. When the curtain rose, and the actors
advanced TO their position, n cry Of 'Down in
front ! became general throughout the audience
Their attention directed towards the tall
B, who, feeling himself the object of re.
mark, thought he required to settle "A little
Looking as if he would like to settle through the
floor he proceeded to raise himself to O standing
position, in such manner, however, as to con-
vey an impression that there was end to him
AT last he did get straight out to his full length
when slowly glancing round at the astonished
audience, he very deliberately remarked, 'Gen.
tlemen, to satisfy you that was sitting down
will now stand up !" burst of laughter and
applause succeeded, the audience and the actors
became convulsed, the curtain descended rapid
ly, the manager with beaming face, came for
ward, and, amidst the widest applause conduc-
NNN WV bN"N'S'ANu W pllFhtS WA DOW Is
that for hgh2'
A Boston lady in California says that the
big straw berries on the Pacific coast have but
little flavor, being cross between a turnip and
dried apple.
together.
-'Im not much for shtump spakin, ," de-
cared q candidate at Dubuque, Iowa, ''but for
honesty and capacity and integrity bate the
devil"
"A fond mother in Rails county, Missouri,
has named her daughter Main Grace neigh
Dor inquired how she came to select such an odd
name la" says she, az got il out Of The
hymn book" The neighbor expressed SURPRISE
and said she bad never seen the name in any
hymn book she had used ''You haven't 2" said
the mother of Main Grace. "Why, don't you
recollect that familiar old hymn commencing
Main Grace how sweet the sound ?"
This is how it happened down 10 south
west Missouri
He found rope and picked it up,
And with 1t walked away.
IL happened that to tother end
A horse was hitched they say
They found tree and tied the rope
Unto a swinging limb
IL happened that the other end
Was somehow hitcbed to him
- conscientious little boy, upon whom bis
mother was inhicting personal cbasusement, ex
claimed give me two or three more lcks
mamma. don't believe can behave we'll vet
EDToas AID AEGEls.--Judge Claggett deliver
ed the annual address before the Iowa Editoria
Convention, which held its last session at Gin
ton, on the 10th ulumo. Speaking Of the pro
fession, the Judge, true to his nature, exempli
fed some Of his remarks as follows II is jus