The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-11-13
The Festive Flea and his FaVorite
Playground.

The average woman hates flea with
an intensity almost diabolical in its ma
ture. She will pursue one of these lit
tie inuocents with the remorselessness of
fend, and if you ever expect to see
beautiful exempli6cation of womanly
traits never look for it when she knows
that flea is about. And in proportion
as a woman hates, the flea seems to love,
and is never enjoying ecstatic bliss un-
less favored with her society. He likes
TO seek her couch in the Silly hours of
the night, WOO her from slumber, and
from a sheltered nook witness her fever
ish exertions to escape his caress; but
perhaps he does not reach the acme of
enjoyment until he can slyly accompany
her to church and not make his presence
known until she has satisfactorily set
tied her furbelows and Aounces on the
cushioned eeat all ready to be admired
and make note of how others look. And
then the flea begins his manipulations,
knowing full we'll that he has his victim
to disadvantage. Here there can be
no hasty finging of skirts, no assuming
of unbecoming postures while making
frantic grabs at the mischieyous and in
accessible monster. If you note the wo-
man closely, you will see COMPRISING
of the lips and look of hate and pain
creeping into the face which she would
fain conceal and not reveal, for are not
many eyes upon her? One moment she
settles herself little more firmly on one
side, as though hoping to crush the ag-
gressor, but the next moment feels him
scampering upward, when she settles
backward quickly to catch him between
her back and the rail, but all in vain
his flag is still there. One dainty gaiter
may rub against its fellow as far as may
be done without disarranging drapery,
and there may be quiet, yet neyerthe-
less vicious clutch of ieweled hand un-
der the pretense of arranging flowing
drapery, but all in vain. And the flea
how does he enjoy it? He roams hither
and thither at his own sweet will, un.
caring for the boiling wrath which fair
ly makes the white flesh upon which he
plays shiver beneath his light tread.
At one moment they are playing tag; at
another hide and seek, and while the one
is costly nestled away, the other rushes
hither and thither to find it in a way
which is maddening; and then they act
the part of explorers, and prospect every
hill and dale of the form divine. But
one.thing they do not do, they don't go to
sleep. And during this hour Of martyr
dom how the wrath of the woman gath
ers, and how only thoughts of dire ven
geance make the brief agony endurable.
But at last the service which has seemed
30 long has ended, and with as much
majesty as her writhing form will per-
nit, she sails home without lettering,
you may be sure. The house reached,
with one bound she is within the priva-
cy of her own chamber, and there all
restraint is cast aside. With lightning
haste off comes the barricades behind
which the flea found intrenchment, and
at last she stands like gladiator strip
ped for the fight, and then the fate of the
invader is sealed. He is pursued with
remorseless fury, and the battle does not
end until the victor shakes aloft the
scalp of the foe, and VOWS that so perish
always the flea who dares to invade the
sacred territory of her person.