The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-07-16
(From the London Daily News.]
Publishing Marriage ENGAGEMENTS.

When two young German people become
engaged it is their custom, as most folks
know, to announce the important tact in the
newspapers. Among the advertisements of
state lotteries, forthcoming operas. cigars of
some famous ''Fabrik," nd'sechtes Wierer,n
appears notice of the accomplished ''Verlo-
bung," in which the names of the two lovers
are united by tender little hyphen. AS a
general rule, the compact is then considered
indissOluble, and there are not many who are
bold or wicked enough to fOrsake the engage
ment thus publicly recorded. and to give all
their good-natured friends that opportunity
for talking scandal which they deplorc at the
same time that they hasten to use it. How
ever, accidents will occur; and sometimes the
''Verlobung'' is broken assunder by the hard
exigencies of lite. Most people in such case
plefer TO say nothing ABOUT it. Isle hat die
Treu gebrochen, das Ringlein ist entzwei,"
sings the heartbroken lover, who goes away
into strange lands, and is in great grief until
he finds some other young woman OF syDpa-
thetic nature to console HIM for his loss. But
at rare intervals a passion of remorseful hon
esty seiZes the torsaken one, and causes him
to tell the public frankly of what has befaen
him. Such an instance, we are told, has just
occurred; and the young man, in advertising
the fact that the engagement formally an
nounced has been broken off by his sweet
heart, states her reason. To his regret, he
says, she "did not find in my department
that gravity which she had right to ex-
pect" This looks very like extreme modesty
at first sight; but it is much more probable
that it contains some covert sarcasm, along
with an excuse hattering to the young mans
vanity and Self-respect. The sarcasm is di-
rected against the lady, of cOurse-for the re-
jected lover is by circumstance, ii not by nat
ure, revengeful. She wanted gravity; let
other young men be warned! As for him
self, he was no gray-beard full of portentous
saws and burdehed with decorum. He was
rather gay young dog; the marriage state
was, perhaps, of too much dignity and re-
sponsiblity for him; much as he regrets it,
he must allow his charming .Jiancee to go
elsewhere for solemn and venerable spouse.
Whether that be the explanation or not of the
announcement, it is at least one that the
young man could carry with him into society
in his search for new bride.
Now, there can be no doubt that the pub
licity attending such matters in Germany is
very useful at times. A frightful amount of
mischief is frequently caused in England by
the extreme shyness of maidens who secretly
pledge themselves to marry, and remain pro-
foundly anxious that the fact should not be
known. To begin with, unwecome suitors
hang about the house; and the accepted low
er is driven TO his wits end by jealousy !;
while the former are kept idlng their time
away in 'sfooing around'' girl who regards
them not. Then the neighbors begin to talk
and an indefinite amount Ut scandal is pro-
duced. Elderly persons, who ought to be at
home saying their prayers, will devote hours
to watching how many times in one evening
particular young man dances with par
ticular young woman; and afterwards go
about declaring how that shameful creature
is deceiving her parents. By and by the Sc
cret oozes out, within certain circle; but
the outside public knows nothing about it,
and is left free to make comments ii it finds
those two young persons treating each other
with too much familiarity. The lover stum-i
bies into a thousand vexatiOns every day. If
there is one thing more than another that
drives him wild, it is to hear his divine Clar-
linda name mentioned by others, and to be
'.chaffed' about his intentions. OF course,
if tbe young men knew, they would as soon
think of tickling the snout of a doing alliga-
tor as of bantering a man really engaged
about any such thing. Then the young lady
is pleased to learn that her continual meeting
with certain gentleman has been remarked; !;
and curious elderly folks broadly hint to her
that they would like to know if there is really
''anything in it." OF course, there is much
in all this secrecy that a girl likes. She is
willing enough to let a few friends know;
but to proclaim TO the world her new
relations with this sutor savors to her of un-
maidenly boldness. She is not so slow to
sanction the publication of q marriage
advertisement. Then she feels that the
die is cast. But the German girls pretty near
ly of the same opinion when she is engaged
and she knows that engagements which have
been thus plblicly announced are seldom
broken off Marriages come to grief as well as
engagements; there is no certainty in life,
h owever amiable and trustworthy the Eng
lis b John or the German Hans may appear
in the eyes of his beloved one. Sentiment
aside, there are social advantages accrulng
from the frank publication OF tie TACT OF an
epgaa cement which are obvious to the friends
of The engaged young people II not to them
selves.
But these advantages are as nothing COM
nared To those which would attend the Gus
tom of formally aud publicly giving notice
when an enpagem ent is broken of. OF all the
ina idents of life there is scarcely one which
oiyes rise to such an intolerable amount OF
Scandal as a cancelled engagement of mar
riage. Speculation is set afire by it in thou
saEd directions aud the more simple and OBJ
vious the real reason for the circumstance
happens to be, the more scornfully 1t Is scout
ed by alarmed and puzzled but also delighted
friends. Scarcely anybody who IS In the re-
mctest degree associated with either oil the
two prin cpal folks, escapes the mttrdiueuse
shower of suggestions and suspicious; while
the girl herself, though she be as tender us
Juliet, as wise as Portia, and as hardly EN-.
treated as Ophelia, is sure to be called all
manner of names by those of her lady friends
who ALWAYS did consider her sly, conoetted
and no better than she should be. LOOK, on
the 9th er hand, at the opportunity such
custom us that we mention would afiora 70 !,