Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-09-03
Varieties of All Kinds
Engaged for every sot-a hen.
A table of interest-the dinner Ia

"Old rye" is the grain that is near
est the grangers' heart.
"Do not sing that song again" is
the sarcastic title Of 4 new song.
The remains of five Governors re-
pose in the Harrisburg Cemetery.
Don't 90 to law unless you have
nothing to lose; lawyers houses arc
built on fools heads.
Those who don't spell it "Orgust'
are patiently waiting till next month
to begin the oyster campaign.
Chicago wants to see them, and
will give $4,000 each for Henry
and Theodore for fifty nights.
Ohio BARRIERS arc engaging in
hair cutting matches at 500 a SIDE.
Nervous customer" must enjoy it.
Waltham, Vermont, has reached
the highest point of municipal hap
piness. 1t has no tax levy and no
paupers.
4 man in Richmond, Va, adver-
tises that he will pay twenty-five cents
per hundred for Confederate notes,
small or large.
The Pennsylvania Railroad claims
the largest locomotive in the country.
1t has twelve driving wheels, and
weighs.seyenty five tons.
The clergyman of the church of
England who so brutally assaulted
his sister, has been found guilty of
Irritation of the BRAIN
The wicked flea. at amt so
much the biting, if only the plaguey
thing wouldn't keep getting up and
sitting down all the time Exactly.
An old gentleman Of much expert
ence in The wold says that all that is
necessary for the perfect enjoyment
of love of sausages is confidence.
Among the attractions Of North
ern Iowa is female horse thief.
Her name is Elizabeth johnson and
she is now under arrest ut Waukon.'
Many of the rural journals through
out the country are publishing the
whole Beechcr and 1ilton scandal as
a scrial-"To be continued in our
next
Temperance reformers will soon
have new enemy to face. The an
nual importation Of opium to this
country noW amounts to 25O,O00I
pounds.
\ Kentucky exchange says, with
the beginning Of the year we will re-
iuce our business to q cash basis. -
Cord wood and potatoes taken for
In New York it has gradually
come to be considered more fashiona-
bic to have the weddiag ceremony
take place in the morning than the
ltteraoOn.
Next to music, nothing so power
fully tends to soothc The savage beast
Is to see the young man who parts
his hair in the middle showing o baby |
wagon OF Sunday.
Tho water from Terrc Hautc, In
diana, artcsian well has Il wide range
of usefulness According toa local
paper its efficacy reaches from hoas
On dogs to cholera in chickens.
BROOKLYN and jersey City togeth-
er would seem to argue in favor Of
the priestiy obligation TO celibacy;
but the men who will violate one
obligation viii not respect another.
When we'll known Omaha thief
meets Il policeman and hands him -
II Is the duty Of the officer to 90 and
sit down in an alley and see nothing
for the next hour-nothing but the
$.
nUono deferred makcth the heart
sick" has been translated by u De
troit boy to read: "If You hope you
Vii 20 to the circus and dad won't
let YOU, it makes you have the Ftom-
ach ache
When q stranger indicates TO
Paraguay belle that he desires to
kiss her, she removes Il quid Of tobac
co from her mouth 10 facilitate the
preceding. Then he can kiss her il
he chews.
judge Bieclow Of the United
States District Court, Chicago, has
sustained the right Of insurance COM
pauies to have clause in policy
it in case Of suicide,
"sane or insane"
\ Rhode Island man has invented
a torpedo in the shape Of kernel Of
corn, which Is designed for the be
ruilemcnt of crows. As soon as
that offensive bind tal,es hold Of it,
It explodes and blows the top Of his
head oft. This affords cheap and
recreation for the crow. and
at the same time does away with q |
-rievous evil.
LITERARY ScRAr, showing room
for improvement This doc,mcnt, as
the reader wilI see, is a cobbler'. bill !
Il was actually handed by a sloema-
ker to a gentleman in the county
Of Kent, Maryland, Sho, without
questioning the items, paid the
same:
Squire Sparker,
To i. Wooton, shoemaker, DR..