The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-24
4 STEAM JACKASS.

n llNluS HcdI NdSUNlllt, w dSl-
ington county, H., has recently invented
an apparatus, TO take the place of
whistles for railroad signals, steamboats,,
He calls it the Telephon," but the pop.
ular name is the "Steam Jackass." The
inventor is a stock. farmer, and has de-
voted much of his time to raising mules,
whose habits and anatomy he appears 10
have studied carefully. On his farm there
was mule Of more than ordinary power,
whose voice could be heard distance OF
four miles in every direction when he
once got warmed up TO his work. The
owner computed that if he could set in
motion all the air in a circle of eight
miles in diameter, or twenty-five miles
in circumference, or an area of fifty
square miles, or thirty.two thousand
acres, hundred horsepower iackass
could, all other things being equal, rival
any other noise yet discovered. He es-
tablished the fact that the power of an
ordinary ass is about one-twelfth of an
indicated steam horse power. A steam
engine of one thousand horsepower
would therefore be equal to the power of
$1,000 asses. Wherefore, if one ass can
fill circle eight miles in diameter, 10,
600 jackasses or 900 horse power would
fill a circle of 90, 600 miles in diameter.
The inventor thought all this over care
fully, arriving at the deduction that if he
could take natures vocal apparatus and
apply toit greater power, he could pro.
duce larger and more satisfactory vol
ume of sound. Filled with this idea, he
put the mule TO death, and carefully
severed the head fromthe body. He ther
injected solutions OF chloride of zinc and
arsenic into the veins and arteries of the
head and neck, TO prevent decay of the
flesh. India rubber was dissolved in sui
phuric ether, and the solution forced
through the trachea or wind-pipe ant
through the larynx or throat The ethel
evaporated, leaving "a film of rubber OF
the membranes, and the injection anC
evaporation were continued until the rub
Der film was found OF sufficient thickness
These organs were then subjected to va
por of sulphur, heated TO 800 degrees, by
which process the rubber was vulcanized
its elasticity increased, and the mem
branes rendered impervious 10 steam
These preparations completed, a short
piece of rubber hose was attached 10 tn,
wind-pipe and connected with a steam
boiler.
II was a moment of agony to the in
ventor, as he placed the ass-head in tn,
hands of an assistant, and slowly pulled
the valve open a moment of thrllin!
interest. AS the steam was turned on
it passed into the wind-pipe, expelling th
air and producing sigh, followed by
groan, a snort, a chuckle, then a violen
coughing and snee2ing. As full heaC
of steam was turned on, the most fearful
noise, the most frightful gu1faw, tn
81 hot Ia,
mortal ears, were produced. The lip
contracted, disclosing a terrible array 0
teeth the features developed d Satan
grin the jaws raised and fell, as tn
steam crowded the passages, and the ear
participated in the general movement
giving TO the head of the ass an animatet
and excited appearance The man VIII,
was holding the head, gazed upon il
moment, with dilated eyes, colorles
I cheeks, knocking knees and protrudin
tongue then, suddenly, losing all il
! terest in the performance, emigrated a
/ for the inventor, his success exceeded hi
most sanguine anticipations For an in
slant be contemplated the head, his cour
tenance working with every manifesto
/ tion of intense delight then he too start
ed, probably 10 learn the greatest di:
tance 10 which tha: voice would pent
trate, leaving il still in operation, wit
all steam on. The head had now got full
warmed up 20 is work, and that bra
went hurting through the universe.
was an acoustic earthquake, sky-shakC
1t was u storm, q hurricane Of sound
tornado, a cyclone Of noise; il was
donkey carnival, q iackass Fourth q
July. Ii was the greatest success the worl
has ever known.
The inventor declares his intention :
improving on this instrument, and Of az
plying the same invention TO other sp,
cies. He is now preparing the head of tn
mocking-bird, which will be equal to
100 mocking- bird power, and the lover
of that gentle birds tender notes wi
only have the trouble of turning on til
steam.
The invention serves another purpose
Those who have studied the steam iacl
ass assert that in the noises produce
they have detected articulate sounds, sy
tables, and even sentences. They aifirI
that as the microscope gives TO the ey
n perception of the lower orders of lift
as the telescope makes visible the distar
stars, so this new invention magnifiC
the slight, unnoticed sounds of animals
and by supplying the missing links, give
us complete language of animals.
prominent photographer is studying tn
subject, and expects soon to publish
pictorial dictionary OF the jackass lal
guage, and also a jackass grammar, whic
will be of great advantage to societies fC
the prevention of cruelty TO animals, sinC
an animal may be compelled to testif,
through the judge or some other con
petent interpreter