The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-02-19
Grange. Secrets ReYealed-7How limitations
are Conducted.

.; On, being brought into the, ante-roOm OF tne
lodge, (Greengrocer Temple No, 1G1,) | was
told that I had been balloted for and accepted.
My informant, who was securely maskedl by
what 1 afterwards learned was large burdock
leaf perforated with holes for the eyes, told me
that if I valued my life it would be necessary
for me to strip. As did consider that consid-
erable worth to me, and as be italicized his
wishes bynearelessly playing with seven
eagerness. Ny masked friend then furnished
me with the regalia of the first degree, called
"Phe Festive Ploughboy," which consisted
merely Of one large cabbage leaf attached to
waistoband sf potato vines In this airy cos
tune was conducted to the door, where my
companion gave three distinct raps. [ was
securely blind folded by binding asfice Of rnta-
bagsove each eye.) "A sepulchraE voice from
within asked: ,y"Who comes?" hyy.s-r l.a-.i
Nv guide answered: "a youthful agricul-
turist who desires to- become granger"
Scpulchral Voice-Have you looked him
carefully over? --,,----..--.-.....--
,EGuiaeGI have, noble gate-keeper. -
rs. V.-Do you find any agricultural marks
about his person 2 ......;, ....,l
Guide-I do
S..v.-What are they ",
Guide-The candidate has'carrotty hair, red
dish whiskers and a turp-pp nose. ,.. .. ::
IS. V.-4-'Tis well. Why. do you desire to
: Guide, answering for candidate THAT /
may be thereby the better enabled to harrow
up the feelings ofrthe raseally politicians: y
S. V.-You will bring in the candidate.
Ny worthy stripping, as you cannot see, L will
cause you to feel that you are, received at the
door on the three points Of a pitchfork, pierc-
ing the region of the stomach, which IS to
teach you the three great virtues-.-faith,:: hope
and charity. ~ Faith in yourself, hope for
cheaper farm machinery, and charity for the
lightning-rod peddler. You will now be har-
messed, and in representation of the horse
Pegasus, will be tested as to endurance and
wind. z.t ,.,:i. ns ..t.:J Il
The candidate is here attached to small
imitation plow by means of hempen harness
A dried pnmpkinvine is put in his mouth for
bit and bride he is made to get down upon
all-fours, the guide seizes the bride, and urged
on by granger armed with Canada thistle
the candidate is gallopped three times around
the room. While making the circuit, the
members arise and sing: .,>
Get urj and dust you bully boy
- 30. Who wouldn't be granger2
IF the thistle's prick don't cause you 10y
80 To feeling you must be estranged, Ell!
After this violent exercise, be is rubbed dry
with corn-cobs, bees s-waxed Where thistled, and
br,oo;ueht standing up before the great chief
the Most Worshipfufr Pumpkin Head, ~.
NJ. w. P. H.-Why do you desire to be
Candidate, answering for himself)-That I
may learn to extinguish sewing machine
n. W. P. .H,-Have your hands been har-
dened with toll 49,, ..,d:4 .le o.-,a,.
Candidate extensively, but then. I am
not running for Office. e.,,''y i.a.,;',. =;
NJ. ". .P. HTS we'll, for our lodges con
tain several who are supposed to be ready to sac
rifce themselves for the good Of Of, their consttu-
N: W. P. H. (savagcly)-Givs me chaw of
tobacco!
Candidate, searching himself thoroughly,
but as there is no place about him to stick a
pocket, tries to explain, but the Most Worship
full Pumpkin Head Interrupts him with
"Never mind, my dear young friend. l am
we'll aware that in your present condition you
can no more furnish Yonrfriends with the weed
than Adam could be comfortable in plug hat
and tight boots 1t is nerely-to teach you the
great lessoni of communicating to Others as
you'd like. o,have them do to you. You will
now be conducted to the Most Eminent Squash.
Producer, who will teach you the grand hail
ing sign of distress. The sign, my worthy
brSther, wall insure you against most of the
ills ofthe riculturist-amongsto others, against
droughts and being bit by the ferecious grass
homer" I9al ri.a II; .G.sl =. 600 -4,
+ ffhe7 candidate is now conducted,to the Most
Eminent Squash Producer; 'who thus says :i
HtM v, worthy brother, Il will now invest sou.
with the order of the Festive Ploughboy, which.
gou have we'll won by your heroic achieve
ment while harnessed; may you ever wear it
with pleasure to yourself and may it be a
means of terror to your enemies" ~ ,.J
1.-The M. E.S. P. then proceeds to invest the
candidate with the regalia of the Festive Plow-
bow, which consists of long tomato neck
sThe grand hailing sign of distress is made
by gently closing the left eye, laying the right
fore. finger alongside the nose, and violently
,wagging the ears. 1t requires practice, but the
advantages are intense. 1t also has an impor-
tant signifcation, which you will do we'll to
heed. The closing of the1eye signifies that in
all your dealings with; mankind you are hound
to have. an eye to business. Laying the finger
alonpsides the nose is emblematical Of wisdom,
and places YOU at once among the knowing
onesb This is extremely handy in prognosti-
eating, new weather, and saves the wear and
tear Of almanacs Wagging the ears signifies
sublimity subj m Of purpose and is thought to be
emblematical of childhoods happy hours. 1t
is also supposed by, some profound scholars to
lave a distinct reference to apple-dumplings,
but this fact is somewhat obscure ;oy the dust
of ages, In token that you are one of us, you
will now, be branded. When one granger de-
sires to ascertain for sure if there is another
If the order in the room, he raises himself
ee geptly a BY the slack Of lis unmeptiouables,
Scratches his off thigh with his near hoof, and
remarks, in q voice Of thunder: Are there any
grangers about?' The answer is: 1'Jeese-
wax" 49, .ni .i la
i was. here interrupted, Mr.. Editor, by a vol
lev fired into the open window, evidently in
tended for;me. Fortunately l escaped without
a scratch, and, which is Of more consequence,
succeeded in fetching off my precious manu-
script. This is about all there is in the cere-
mony of any Importance. 1 must leave the
i q o1o