The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-10-01

am dyingr' screamed the now really des-
perate Podgers.
Sam sat up in the bed rubbing his eyes.
whats the matter - asked he.
"Oh | am dying" said POdgcrS, and
suddenly remembering that violent eXer-
else was said to be an efficient means OF
counteracting the effects of the narcotic, he
| began TO execute some extraordinary feats
of agility.
Pm blasted il you act like a dying
man. said Sam, still rubbing his eyes.
''Oh, yes, am; have swallowed laud-
anum Pm sleepy now ~ shrieked the
wOuld-be suicide, as he cleared chair in
flying leap.
BY George, that was fine jump
for sleepy man." said Sam, sarcasticaliy.
Don't Jest. Sam; I'm telling the truth ;
run for the Doctor-ah Oh-ah."
Sam. who was now wide awake, per-
ceived that something was wrong, so pull
ing on his trousers and telling POdgerS TO
run his finger down his throat and ''vOm-
ic it up he hastily ran down stairs and
across the street for the Doctor. So much
concerned was he, that he hardly noticed
as he opened the door, that he ran against
Fripper herself, who. hearing the noise
as she tossed to and fro on her restless
couch, had slipped quietly to Mr.. Pod
gers's door, and there, in an interesting
state of negligee, was occupied in the
laudable endeavor to comprehend affairs
through the medium of the key-hOle.
Finding herself caught in that position,
and already overcome by other emotions,
she uttered d scream, which aroused the
whole household, and tainted outright in
the passage.
Immediately every door along the hall
was opened, and out of every door night
cap appeared, and every night-cap insisted
upon knowing Immediately what had Oc-
Cured, but as not single night cap re-
ceived a satisfactory answer, nor in fact
anv answer at all, it became very evident
to each individual night-cap that an inves-
tigation must be made before any reliable
information could be obtained. Thereup
on every night-cap disappeareda as sudden
ly as it had appeared, and in few mo-
ments came forth again, attended by the
various tenants of Mrs. Scruggins'S
beds, who had been so unnaturally
and unceremoniOusly aroused, and whose
bodies several were now presented III
all STYLES and stages of dishabille. There
was rush for Mr.. POdgers's door, within
which was displayed to the distended OPP
tics of the boarders the spectacle of Mr..
POdgers, seated on the table, exhausted by
violent exercise, wet with perspiratiOn,
and holding one hand against his stomach,
while, with the index finger of the other,
he was endeavoring to carry out Sans in
structions.
"Och! oh. I'm so sleepy-ach!-oh
help me-ach-do come help me-" cried he,
painting, as he now and then made deS-
pcrate effort to empty the contents of his
stomach into his lap.
In fact. Mr.. Podgers was never so wide
awake as he was ut this time. notwith-
standing his proteStations to the contrary.
Some OF the men now approached him,
and tried to induce him to lie down, while
some of the women attended to Miss Flip
per. who was coming gracefully to life
again. But Podgers did not wish to lie
down. The bed had no charms for him.
He persisted in getting sleepy in spite OF
all circumstances, but was equally deter
mined in keeping his perch on the table
until DIR. Muggins arrived. As soon as the
physician came in the unfortunate man
calculated pitiful and disconnected state
ment of his case.
"Why you are not dangerously under
the influence of an Opiate," said the Doc
tor; "there is no indication of the poison
at ALL"
"Oh. yes, there is, Doctor. swallowed
enough to kill me. feel itnOw, ach."
at is very strange" replied the Doc
tor; ''you must be mistaken. But the
drug may not have had time to do its
work"
He prepared an emetic, and after Undue
s,,o, Y,otipt,t tO Iin 1nNGrp adu1inI tQrAI
it, i'm the meanwhile ordering some strong
coffee. A dozen women started in dozen
different directions to find the coffee. The
troup of women at last met in the kitchen,
where they found some cold coffee, which
was hurriedly brought up.
We will now close the door upon the
distressing scene and stand with the women
and servants in the passage listening earn
estly, nervously and sympathetically to
what is going on within. What with
the retching and steaming and rubbing,
the pouring down poor POdgers's throat
cup after cup of coffee, with all the other
murderOuS devices Tor keeping man
alive: what with the means and groans of
the victim. and the hustle and noise around
him, it must be indeed a dismal scene
inside. We shudder at the fate of our
Young friend. We weep with the women,
we groan with the servants, AMI we cry
out with Miss Fripper in our grief. This
Young lady is nearly beside herself, and
walks to and fro, eXclaiming as she wrings
her hands, ''Oh, Joseph, to think that he
loved me so ~ and refused to be comfort
ed or pacified. We are fearfully i'm
pressed. Our troubled thoughts wander
into the morrow, and we read in staring
capitals in the morning paper, the sad an
nouncement of the untimely death of our
esteemed fellow-citizen, Joseph POdgers,
ESQ. rounded off at the close with the
mOurnful lines:
cone more unfortunate,
Weary of breath,
Rashly impOrunate,
to his death -