The Jasper weekly courier., 1874-12-25
The Carpet. .Bagger.


The reconstruction acts have wrought
immeasurable evils, but, perhaps, the
greatest of all is the production OF the car
pet-bagger. have great admiration for
the genius who first used that word, ''car-
pet-bagger." What can be more express
sive. His like the world has never seen.
from the days of Cain, or of tbe
iorty thieves in the tabled time of Ali Ba-
ba. Like the winds, he blows and We hear
he sound thereof, but no man knoweth
whence he cometh or whittier he goeth.
Natural historians will be in doubt how
to class him. Ornithologists will claim
him, because, In many respects. he Is "A
bird OF prey. lie lives only on corruption,
and takes his flight as soon as the
carcass is picked. In other particulars, he
resembles the migratory crane. For, when
driven by the frigidity Of social ostracism
from the North, he flies with marvellous
instinct TO the t0rrid unctuous embrace of
his African mates and peers among the
swamps of our Southern shore. As the
crane fills his craw, so this creature fills
his bag for the flight, and, as
the crane, when the days grow hot, flaps
his wings, and, screaming through the
air, returns TO the North, so this ill-omen-
ed biped, when times become warm.in the
South. gathers up his legs, and flying
with screams and shrieks away, perches
on the wooden head of the figure of JUS
tce commonly known as the Attorney
General), and browns the air with croak-
ings about Southern outrage and wrong.
In the other respects he is like the marsu-
pial family of quadrupeds; for as they are
named from the pouch or bag In which
they carry their young, so he derives his
name from the bag he carries and in
which are stored all his earthly poses
sons. The opp0ssum Is of the marsu-
pial family. and the carpet-bagger, like
that animal, does all his travelingat night.
Solomon was wise man, but he did not
know every thing. lie was wrong i'm say
ing. "rhcre is nothing new under the
SUM-" The world has swung on for
thousands of years, through wars and pes
thence, through famine and plague, has
been visited by tempests and earthquakes,
frogs and flies, murrain and lice, but never,
until the year of our Lord 1867, was
any portion OF the globe afflicted by
carpet-bagger. Solomon did not know
him, nor did David or jeremiah conceive
of such a calamity. If they had, the songs
of David and the book of jeremiah would
have been lost TO mankind, for they would
have committed suicide at the very imag-
ining of such a woe.
Though he sprung into existence soon
after the war, the carpet-bagger is no Off
spring of that martial COTTON. The time
was not gyuris nsarte when he was hatched
or Uttered. There is no look of Mars, but
there is infinite speculation in his eyes.
A reward as large as that offered by the
Roman emperor for a new and savory
dish, could not tempt the most abandoned,
70 hot l..h
known carpet-bagger to face the fire
which he has so often drawn by his incen-
diary work. His courage oozcs out at his
departing heels. During any "lttle un-
pleasantness" this pharisee becomes, as by
magic, publican, for he takes his stand
''afar off," He is no product of war. He
Is " the canker of quiet world and of a
peace which is despotism enforced by bay
onets. His valor Is discretion his indus
try. perpetual strife; and his eloqucnce
1.-THE parcel of a reckoning" of chances as
he smells out a path which may lead from
the White House TO custom-house, a
post-office, the Internal Revenue Bureau,
or, perchance, TO either wing of the Fed
eral Capitol. His shibboleth is "the Re-
publican party" From that party he
sprung as naturally as maggets from pu-
treiaction. His relation to that party is
that of pimp TO bawd, for his meritori-
Gus service is rewarded in proportion to
the number of innocent negro victims he
inveigles TO crafty its lust for power.
Like Wanda and Gurth he never strays
without wearing his masters collar; and
he is equally content whether turned loose
TO chase like sleuth-hound the monarch
of Southern soil, or called by snap of the
fingers 10 eat the garbage of his party.
His collar is his passport 10 roam at large,
and il matters not with what persistence
he may break into Southern gentleman's
closet. his master will not permit him to
be muZZled. for he is "the OK that tread
eth out the corn" as well as :. the ass that
knoweth his masters crib"
Wherevcrtwo or three more negroes are
gathered together in the name of Grant.
he. like leprous spot, is seen, and his cry.
like the daughter of the horse-leech, is al
ways give. give" me Office.
Without office he Is nothing; with Office
he is nuisance. Out of office he is a beg
gar; in office he grows rich till his eyes
stick out with fatness. Out of Office he is.
hat in hand. the outside ornament of every
negro's cabin: a plantation loafer and the
nations laZarone In office he is an adept
in "addtion. subtraction and silence"
Out of Office he Is the orphan ward of the
administration and generally the sgn-post
OF penury; in Office he Is the complaining
suppliant for social equality with Southern
gentlemen.
His former neighbors in the unknown
region whence he fled wonder. not at his
flight, but at his escape and conceament.
But when, as sometimes happens, he
reaches Washington labeled as Senator or
Representative from the province of
Louisiana. or south Carolina, or Alabama.
or Mississippi. and invoiced and consigned
to President Grant, or some Of his hench-
men, the romance Of the transfiguntion
so wells his dignity, that those neighbors
gather in the Capitol, and with field
glasses i'm hand they wrangle and swear ~
in the galleries in angry dispute whether
the official automaton be Tichborne or his
counterfeit. He is, at best, but Cinderella