Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-07-24
humorous shstfbss.

drubbled erboud eadiDg some gwinces und
vus kicked out of der garten.
Cain und Ables vos de lirsed shildren.
Cain got mad und put head on his brud-
der, und lite out. He was un bad boy.
Yonah vos fishmaker. Won tay he gone
to the goosepont to cotch shrimps, un ven
eh vos looking for bait, he walked right
away ov a whales mout in. But der
whales make him pooty quick Walk again.
He vos too shtrong NIT de fish's stumix.
Solomon knew more as everybody. He
don wood cut little poy in bieces to sed-
die disturbance mitt to gals. He said it
yos peter to gone der whole hog or none.
Sans son Il don'd bear his mudder's
name) vas de strongest. He vas bruiser.
He got tighten NIT dozen fellows und he
clccned um out NIT chackass's bone.
Yobe vos der pashenest man. You
could stick pins in him all tay und he
voodn' I boiler.
Merdoeslum vos der Oldest grandfather We
got desetimes. He Good told You all aboud
il.
Lazarus vos der poor man. Dey don't
60 no free lunches in dose times, und he
vas always skirmishin, aboud for crumbs.
Yoseph's pig b-udders got yellous of him
because he vore sphodded goat, und sold
him for dwenty tollars. An alder avile
give um some roasding ears und made it all
righd.
very pleasant spoken man-nice photo
grapher. He said it was nice day, and
that we needed little rain, and that the
Arkansas difficulty was bad thing, and
that photographs were three dollars per
dozen-no o.ders booked without the cash
in advance. He wanted to know if l want
ed full length, half length, bust, face, or
what. told him 'or what and he yank-
ed his camera around, flung the big screnes
recklessly about, poked the skylight cur
tans this way and that with along stick,
and then he ordered me to sit down.
'There-that way y he said as he jefSed
my body to the left and nearly broke my
spine.
/ went that way, and he stepped back,
closed the left eye and squinted at me.
a trifie more = he said, giving ME an
other jerk.
Then he stepped back and closed the
right eye and squinted again.
'Shulders up = he said, as he gave them
twist which made the blades crack.
Then he went to the left and squinted
and cried 'ah = and went 10 the right and
squinted and shouted 'um = and he came
back, seized my head and ierked it up un-
Ill / saw stars.
That's better y he said, as be walked
back TO the camera.
But il wasn't. He came back and told
me to twist the right shoulder round up
my back, swell out my chest and look
straight at butterfly pinned TO corn
starch box, and be as pleasant as / could
Capital = he cried as he took a squint
through the camera, only
And he rushed back, jerked my head
little higher, pulled my ears back, brushed
up my hair, and said I'd better try to
smile and look natural.
How the dew began, but he waved
his hand, and said ] must preserve my
placid demeanor.
Now sit perfectly still and don't move
a hair he whispered, as he threw black
cloth over the brass bound end of the ca
mera, and made sudden dive into his lit
tie dark cen. AS he ratified the glass and
dashed the acids about, l felt big pain in
my spine, small pain in my chest, an
other in my neck, mother in my, rios, but
I'D die first. aud 1 kept my gaze on that
butterfly
Ready now y he cried, as he jumped out
and put in the glass. My head began to
bob, and the butterfly seemed to grow as
large as horse, and he whispered:
Look out-keep perfectly still p
l braced for big effort, and he jerked
down the cloth. / felt as if the fate of a
nation rested on my shoulders, and stuck
TO il. He turned away, and heard him
talking softly to himself After about an
hour and half he put up the rag, jerked
out the glass and ran into the den. He
was out in a moment, and as he held the
negative up to the sun he said:
'AhI you bobbed your head have to try
it again p
AN ENTERPRIsING BoY.-One of Bos-
toms well-established physicians, who
scarcely finds rest night or day, had occa-
siOn recently to engage an Office boy TO open
and shut the door, run errands, and hold
his horse. The boy was from the country,
and evidently possessed an energetic dis
position, with a keen eye to business. In
order TO give information to his patients,
the doctor recently had some cards print
ed, bearing his name, and stating his Office
hours, as many callers lost valuable time
while waiting. These cards disappeared
with wonderful rapidity, so much SO that
the doctor had his suspicion aroused that
his new boy was using them up in a clan
destine manner. 'Jo,' said the doctor one
morning, what has become of those cards
which 1 placed on the table in the outer
office = Cards, sir p repeated the boy,
'Yes, cards, reiterated the doctor. Il took
'em,' replied the boy, proudly. What
have you done with them p demanded the
doctor. We'll my mother told me before
left home that must make myself useful
TO my employer, and so most every dav
when | hadn't anything else to do, / just
threw them into the horse cars as they pass
the corner The scene that followed can
not be described, but after tearing out two
handfuls of his own hair, the doctor took
one grao at the red head of the enterprising
lad, and nearly scalped him. Thus it was
that the well meant endeavors of the young
man to promote the interests of his employ
er were rewarded. Boston Journal.
WHY HE DIDN'T MARRY HER.-In the
course of recent case of breach of prom
ise Of marriage, the father of the rejected