The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1874-02-13
"REMINISCENCES OF OLD vICKsBURG

"REMINISCENCES OF OLD vICKsBURG
The Vicksburger published yester
day bagatelle of an epigram, whlcE
it attributes to the late Sergeant s
Prentiss. Its version runs thus:
.tOf all the beasts ever saw,
The COW comes first in point OF. OF nav
And next in turn, in point OF got'
| Is Alexander G. McNutt."
] The version of our cotemporary ii
incorrect, and the paternity of the
thing is attributed to the wrong man
Mr.. Prentiss said good things enough
of his own, without crediting him with
the jokes of his friends.
Years ago, more than this writer
cares to recall, there stood, near the
corner of Main and Cherry streets, q
hotel, kept by man who was univer'
sally known as cold Ball." and the
way he obtained this sostja'SQuet, was q
little amusing, and was the result OF
very sharp practice at the bar: Like
other hotel keepers, sold Balp' had a
bar in his house, where he himself
ofciated as the gentlemanly COM
FOUNDER of drinks, and to this bar the
gentlemen of the town were wont to
resort for spiritual comfort, and one OF
the currer. jokes of the time was told
on our Boniface, though really and
literally at the expense of his custom
ers. It was the amfable custom Of the
landlord, when a party of gentlemen
| called for drinks, to serve them, and
then to say "what has old Ball done
that he can't take drink ?' whereup-
on he would answer his question by
preparing and drinking his own special
tipple, and then add the price Of 1t to
Ills customers 6iW!
Mr. Ball entertained large number
of boarders at his hotel, and among
came famous. The Hon. VIM. l.. Shar-
key, Sergeant s. Prentiss, Jno. I.
Guion, Alexander G. McNutt, and
William H. Benton, then in the hey
day of young manhood, and all men,
bers of the bar, were a few of the
bright throng that were seen daily at
the table of 'tOld Ball." and many
were the jokes, the quips and qualities
that flashed from them, bright and
sparkling as the champagne they
quaffed. "Where be their gibes now ?"
The mould of years has grown thick
and damp upon their tombs, and the
places which once resounded to the
sound of their voices, can know them
no more forever. Two of sOId Balls"
boarders were men of great appetite,
and many were the jokes fired off at
them in consequence of their capacity
as large feeders. These were Alexan-
der g. McNutt and William H. Ben
never Wearied of their witty vagaries,
or allowed them a moments respite.
A story was often told of McNutt,
while he was Governor of Mississippi,
to the effect that he had said on some
occasion, that "a turkey was very
fnconvenient bird; little too much
for one but not enough for two" To
this the Governor wittily responded by
denying the soft impeachment, humor-
ously adding, "I never di0 acknow1-
edge that a good sized turkey was too
much for one man!'
But to our story. While the gentle
men we have named were boarding
with old Ball, McNutt entered the
breakfast room one morning, and found
John I. Guion the sole occupant of the
table. Good morning, John How are
you. Nc? What's the news, John?
this morning." followed quickly, as
McNutt took seat and prepared to
ego for" old Balls victuals. "John,
where is Benton? Has he been to
breakfast?'' eyes, he left the table as
sat down." Humph, that accounts
for the scarcity of grub" ''By the way,
Nc" responded Guion, who had now
finished his meal, ssI have made some
poetry about Benton and his internal
"Let us have it, John, let
us have it." "Well here goes:
"Of all the men ever saw,
Old Benton has the greatest maw!"
"Good, good" exclaimed McNutt,
with a laugh that made the windows
rattle. els that all of it John?" "No,"
said Guion ,demurely, 'there is another
couplet, but it is hardly worth hear
ing" ooh! let us have it, John.
Come, John, be a good fellow now, and
let us have the balance.'' "Well, if I
must, I suppose I must, so here's at
you:
''The only man of equal gut,
Is Alexander G. MNcutt!'
With a bound Ghion left the table,
and was out of the room as McNutt
fired at him the parting salute of "you
be d-d.' Guion told the story, and
many laugh was INDUCED in at the
expense of McNutt, who, by the way,
of tho 10 n,