The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-01-23
Arch COOney.
CAMP MEETING AT HICKORY GROVE
MIKE HOOTERS SERMON.
YAzOo SKETCH BY ARCH CooNEY.

went to YaZOO, they used to hold reglar
CAM meetins a p place called Hickory
Grove, an the WAythe Methodist preach
ers used to how an cut up was a eau
ton!
Everybody went to these camp meetins',
an SIGH high felltrS as Jim Stewart an
me an Jack Aston an John Quattle-
bum an Glenn an Levi Stewart an Len
Markham would go thar with baddle-
hide it i'll the sink holes, so as we could
find it easy when we wanted to treat our
friends. lily Runnels, he used to come
over from Vernon an bring a
DEMIJON FULL IN HIS BUGGY.
When it was give out that Uncle Mike
HOOter was gWine to preach, everybody
woulQ come if they had to walk twenty
mile.
Well, we was all thar n day, when
Uncle Mike he cum to meetin', when he
jumped up on the pulpit tween two
hickory saplins, pulled OF his bar skin
OvercOat, throwed down his coon skin
cap, as hot as he could be an all in q
Iather OF sweat, an lookin' round
amongst the people, he throwed up his
arms, and seq he Whew"!
He was sorter tired, you bet. He then
commenced one of the most beautiful
sou lIAoIlbS L ' CCIl IL tILIu LO L VIU H.
wrote it down right away I could never
forget it. 1t was about as follows:
My Dear BrctheyiMg an Sistering-
Your Uncle Mike has walked a long
ways to-day to preach to you!
HE HAS WALKED AN STALKED,
an never baked, nigh o%ntotwenty mile
una rah! He has walked so fur that
he has gallded his shins worse nor Il
mule that has been rid with a pack-sad-
die an no blanket under it!
An, my dear sistering an bretIering,
what has your Uncle Mike done all this
for? Why, for nuthin' else but to preach
to you graceless sinners, an to warn
you of the wrath to come! For if you
don't recent an mend yOur ways, the
wrath will come to the whole kit Of
you, as sure as sho0tin', an no mistake!
Talkin' OF mendin' your ways, my
that the way-that is the highway-from
the town of fredericksburg to the Hicko-
ry Grove Camp Ground, is one of the
meanest, lOw-t1ung, OnnOry highways in
the way of d public road, that can be
found from January to Christmas.
IT IS HARDER TO TRAVEL OVER,
a doggOne sight, than the road that lead
eth over Jordan to the Happy land of
Caanan-therefOre, | say unto thee,
mend thou thy ways, and flee from the
wrath to come!
My subjeck this mornin', my brother
ing, is
THE DEPRAvITY OF HUMAN NATURE.
For we ar all born depraved, from the
leetle boy playin' marvils on the road
side to the grown up man, which I sec
some of I'M now, winkin' and blinkin'
and throwin' sleeps eyes at the gals,
which the gals Orter turn up Their noses
a6 UNI, an the men Orter to be listenin'
to the sarmOnt and maxim ready to flee
from the wrath to come. For 10 you ar
a wicked an perverse generation, an
will go to torment as sure as fallin off a
log.
Talkin' of leetle boys, reminds me of
a passel of leetle fellers | cum across this
mornin' a playin' of marvils on the road
side. An you must remember, my breth-
erlng, that it was Sunday morning.
Uum a rah!
AMONG H CROWD OF BOYS
was a mighty lectle boy, about knee high
to a g%rasshopper, an he was profane an
wicked even beyond his years. All this
leetle boy he picked up q marvil, an sed
he unto the other boys, crying out in a
loud voice, "Its my gO!n
A n he walked up to q mark on the
ground which isprofanely called "taw,"
with a bOldness beyond his years. An
he put n leg forward an the other be-
hind, in an attitude as it were! Now, be
it known unto you, my brethering, that
this very small boy was a nurseling as it
as a p0tatOe rind! An when he had
taken his attitude, he spoke unto his
comrades, saying, "Blast my liver if l
don't plump the middle man ~ Then he
adjusted his marvel between his fore
finger an thumb, an he closed his left
eye an shOoted the marvel, an 10
AN BEHOLD, IT FELL RIGHT PLUM
sock in the middle of the ring. but if
didn't plump the middle man
Then, my ~brethering, what do Won
think the wicked little boy did next?
Why, he didn't wait a mint, but he Job
bed his hands into his pockets, and
jumped up and cracked his heels togeth-
er, and SEE he, "By golly Pm fat"
An oh, my brethering, what a sin did
this poor, lean leetel boy commit in say
in those four words? Why, he not on
~ swored an oath, but he telled a lie:
for he was not tat, but as scrawny an
poor as one of Brother Hamberlin's hogs.
which he never has any fat bacon at his
house, but makes his livin' by steam doc
torin' an KILN bar.
An what was my duty then, nv breths
erlng an sistering? Why, to expostu-
late with this leetle boy an warn him of
the wrath to come! for he cometh like
q thief in the night, an no one knOweth
whence he cometh nor whittier he goeth!
AN WHAT THINK YOU, MY BRETHERING,
this leetle boy sed when I warned him
OF the error OF his ways an of the sin of
playin' marvils? Why he again iumned
up an cracked his heels, an say he to
me-: click my foot an go to grass. YOU
burned old hatchet-faced son of a @nn -
Now, my ~brethering, what was the
cause T this wicked depression from
this ieetle boy? Why it was because he
didn't plump the middle man! This
leetle boyawas vexed becase he couldn't
do 1t. An, my dear brethering, ar thar
not menny of you that some times git
yexed an say wicked things because YOU
don't always git the highest price for
your ootting an don't plump the middle
MANI
An now, my dear brethering, thar il
another subieck to which I would call
your attention (Brother Dilley, mass
around the h&t,) an that is to a small
collection to help the good cause an to
carry the Word
TO THE TSHMAELITES,
of which youain'tmuch better! Be lib
raj my brethering, an plank down the
pewter, for the fust thing you know, you
that don't give nuthin', you'll land Slap
dash into the middle Of torment, whar
thar will he Wecnin' am wailin' aD1