The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-06-11
4 BAD FIX.

MY VIE ana babies have gone of on a
visit, and |. the melancholy head of the
family, am sitting alone in my office. 1t
was Just such an evening as this. a year
ago, that Ben lagler rushed in upon me.
- | say. Phi, lend fellow twenty-five
dollars, viii you, for a day or two!''
Iproceedcd to ascertain whether my fin
ancial condition was such that could grant
Ben's request. and Wilde [ was searching
my pockets, he said: - aa
"Of all evils under the sun. an empty
pocket-book is the chief. Thank you"
Il don't know about that, Ben | re-
piled, leaning back with a yawn. ''Somc-
times, You know, we have blessings in dis
guisc."
- should call an empty pocket-book a
pretty thoroughly disguised blessing"
said Ben, SarcaStically.
- Yes, | suppose so. But had little
adventure once that your words put me i'm
mind OF. Sit dowH, if YOU would like to
hear about il"
Drive ahead,"
Ben lit a cigar and made himself com
Portable by distributing different parts OF
ms anatomy on two chairs and my writing
desk. The following was the tale | un-
folded to his listening ear:
Some Years ago | made preparations for
brief "trip out West on prospecting tour
I bought new suit of clothes. 4 new trav-
cling satchel, and a new pOcketb book
With these purchases went to my room
an hour before train time, and consequently
the period remaining in which to eauip
myself was rather limited. But | worked
fast. and succeeded i'm reaching the depot
Just in time To Jump aboard the cars. They
We're not crowded, and had no difficulty
in procuring seat. leaned back with a
feeling Of complacency at my expeditions
ness and good luck. Ii was eight o'clock
in the evening, and just stbeginning to grow
dark. The cars moved slowly out OF the
city, and the vanishing lights grew less
and less frequent. fSt
In due time, after we had got under full
headway, the conductor caRae along. He
was fierce-looking, red-Whisbelcd indi-
vidual, and carried the usual round lamp.
bunch of tickets, punch, and handful Of
bank notes. 7t-a1 tLa--.
- Tickets " he roared, on entering the
car
III have to pay you money!" l said,
when he came to me. - was too late to
buy ticket. How much is il To-"
| suddenly paused with a choking SEN
sation. | had taken out my new pocket
book, but on opening it, the glossy red
at me with appalling blankness. No
money was visible. l was too astonished
10 speak for an instant. and looked at the
empty pocket-book helplessly.
Tickets he repeated, nudging my
shoulder.
How hOpeleSsly obtuse conductors can be
when occasion requires it. perceived
that he was man whom itwOuldn't do 20
trifle with. a.aHa
upon my word" / said, this is
strange. | don't seem TO have a cent OF
money!"
"Then you've no business on this train.
Come, you'd better shell out"
But, my dear sir
No use in making any words about it.
How lar do you want 10 go! E-
- To Spunkville." sG eysl
We'll, ctn't waste any time talking
with you. You'll have to get off at the
next stop"
This was, TO say the least. unpleasant.
He had spoken in a loud voice. and walked
on with an expression OF wounded virtue.
felt extremely uncomfortable, for / be-
came speedily aware that public sentiment
was against me. | knew from the looks
and the suppressed conversation of the
passengers that they regarded me as a
SWlndler.
Two old maids, whose vdemeanor was
almost supernaturally proper, cast occa-
sional sidelong glances of horror at me ;
while countryInan who sat near. folded
his arms and assumed sagacious squint,
as much as TO say. = know the ropes
YOU'D better not try to come any OF your
games on meia E . -t
knew that it would be of no use TO eN-
plain that. in the hurry of changing my
clolhes.I had left t-my money inmy old
pockei-book. which I distinctly remem-
Der having thrown in n cupboard among
a lot of old baots. No one would be
heve me. SO | simply folded nv arms
and gave myself up TO gloomy medita-
tiUns. 80 ls-- '77A Le---- -.
ot To go needlessly into particulars.
wll only say thar filled 10 move the
heart OF me o3durate conductor. He said
i must get oa. -
| got of. Ii was very dark. for the
train, being through express. did NOT
stop tili near midnight, and then only to
take in wood and water.