Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-11-20
WHOLE NO. 2O7.
&aoies' department.
THE FORMING PROCESS.
BY MRS. HELEN f. BROWN.

"I don't see how my children ever got
such ways" said a mother in discouraged
tone. She only repeated what great many
others have uttered. They soc the "ways,"
but don't see chow" they came.
And yet it is plain enough. The child
grows into them just as he grows into every
thing; just as he develops in limb and
function, in reason, understanding, aud NOR
al qualities. These personal ways, some-
times lovely sometimes very disagreoable,
which distinguish one child from every
other, come by gradual accretion, minute
by minute, imperceptible in its process, but
visible enough in its results. His body
grows by the food he eats and the air he
breathes his intellect by the mental nour-
ishment administered, and so his habits Of
speech, movement, and department are
formed by the influences which surround
him, by the sights he sees, the sounds he
hears, the touches ne feels. His parents
live their lives according to the
habits acquired in their early years
in other words, they "act out them
selves" If they have faults, it is said in
apology, "lts only their way" Should any
one suggest that these ways might be i'm
proved, the reply would doubtless be, "Of
course; there is no perfection here below.
We all have our individuality, and it's no
ones business but our own
But is it true that no one is concerned in
these "ways" of ours but ourselves? ? Where
are the children2 Copying every moment
looks, tones, expressions; imbibing our spir-
it, acquiring the same habits, reproducing
faults as surely, though uuconsciously, as
the jelly takes the shape of the mold into
which it is poured. And so blinded are we,
that we do not see where the children get
their ways" and are alternately reproving
them for tho fault and setting the example,
until, at some unexpected moment, the truth
flashes upon US, and we sec in them, as in
mirror, our own selves, repeated with the
precision of a skilled artist.
Happy the moment when this revelation
is made to the honest parent, when he be-
holds and recognizes his own image in the
Child for then will begin the process of
reformation. Every day he will strive to
correct in himself the faults he sees so faith
fully reflected in tie little one, and thus
gradually but surely both will improve.
We believe in honesty and ingenuousness
between parent and child. We see that our
son or daughter has an unlovely trait, which
we can distinctly trace to our own example,
the offensiveness Of which we did not realize
until we perceived it in the child. What
shall we do about it2 Supposing we draw
the little one close to us and say, 81 am
sorry to see thus and so in you, but l fear L
have not been so careful as | ought in this
respect. have the same fault, and am
resolved to correct it. Now, will you try
too ? Let us help each other in overcoming
this bad habit, and in forming the opposite"
What effect would such proposition have
on the child? would it lessen his love for
the parent, or weaken his flial confidence?
We think the contrary would be the fact (;
that nothing would more stimulate the con-
science, the affections, the will-power of the
child in the right direction. Let some
mother try it, and note its effect. Let the
confession be followed by resolute watch
fulness and self.discipline, and we predict a
change will soon be perceptible on both
sides.
We involuutarily judge of parents by
their children. A little girl has a quick
way Of speaking, or sharpness of reioiader,
a voice pitched on a high, discordant key
and we say, THAT is the way her mother
talks at home" From a little boys lips we
hear coarse words, slang phrases, and utter
ances almost amounting to profanity, in the
excitement of play, and we exclaim, "Just
hear that; it's his father right out" On
the other hand, when we see children conci-
iating in spirit, kind, and gentle, and cour,
teous, we know they have grown up in the
atmosphere of love and purity; or intelli.
gent, ingenious, and Industrious, aud we in.
stinctively attribute these admirable quail
ties to home influence. To home influence
we assert, more than to teaching.
The thought which presses most forci bly,
upon US in this connection, is this how i'm
portant to form our children's "ways" right
ly. When little creature fresh, plastic,
and susceptible, begins its career in oul
arms, what pity that we should carelessly
model it, and then, when our mistakes be-
come apparent, have to undo and do oul
work all over again. What a saving o.
strength, patience, and time to do it proper
ly at first. God give our young mothers
heart Of grace to do this, which some of u,
old mothers see so plainly ought to be done
Nor would We address our exhortation alone
to mothers Fathers have quite as mucl
to do with the formation of their children
habits. Their conversation at the table
their manners to company, their spirit t.
the servants, their methods of commanding
and exacting obedience from the children, ii
fact, their whole personality impresses itse
upon the little oues, and often works mis-
chief which a mothers most persistent efforts
without his cooperation, can never counter
ct.-MotherS' Journal.