Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1874-07-04
Manners of the Present Day.

There are persons who believe that the
standard of good manners in this country is
on the whole much lower than it was that
poltencss and courtesy are neither so COM
mon nor so we'll understood as they used to
be; and that the acquisition of enormous
wealth by the few has been the means OF
barbarising US all to really formidable ex-
tent. Evidence of this is supposed to be
found in the rudeness which one is accus-
toned to meet with and to hear Of in railway
travelling; in the pushing and undisguiSed
seitishneSs with which every man does that
which is right in his own eyes, with the
smallest possible consideration for his next
door neighbor; in the substitution of a stiff
Journalism by the vulgar rich for frank and
genial intercourse.
About the actual fact there may be some
difference of opinion. There are so many
optimiSts in the world who insist that every
thing goes on in the finest way imaginable,
that there is sure to be some resistance to the
admission Of disagrceable trutli. We need
not be reluctant to admit it, at any rate, on
merely patriotic grounds, for English and
Frenchmcn are making just the same COM
plaint Of their countries, too.
The essence of good manners is case, and
ease is just what the suddenly enriched can,
not have. Look at the conduct and carriage
Of the first Of them you meet. 1t has all the
stiffness, discomfort, elaborate artifciality,
OF his own shiniest new furniture. He is
no more like truly well-manncred scholar
or farmer than his own gorgeous mansion
of bright stone, with gilt laid thick on every
room, adorned with the staring pictures OF
those modern masters whom rich manufnc
tarcrs love to honor, and pranked out witt
all manner Of costly gaudincsscs, is like the
venerable glory Of an ancient baronial hall.
or the simple proprcty Of On humble mans
home.
The truth is. that to the making of good
manners there must either be in the man
himself. or have been in those from whom
he inherits their tradition, u mixture Of moral
tt!INt III
tents Of which are our new rich men strong
An empress can be polite, and so can Robert
Burns We require the moral capacity for
genial sympathy, and the intellectual capac.
ity for discerning the fitness of things in this
or that special set Of circumstances. Tc
possess either of these gifts fully and without
detriment, one must have certain serenity
Of mind, which shall allow the unconstrained
and gracious play of interest in other per
SONS, and shall permit one vision of the
true aspect of our relations with them to
operate free from the clouds which a hungry
hunting for their good opinion or good word
interpoScs. The worst and the commonest
fault in manners arises from double mis-
take-first, that artificial cfl;IsiOn is the same
thing as sympathetic interest; and next, that
friendly relations demand an unreservcd III
tcrchange ofall inmoSt condolences.
Hence the most odious of all varieties Of
bad manners. lll-bred reserve is bad enough
but it is not nearly 50 insuiferable because
it does not show nearly so absolute a hollow
lleH> VI CLliti iilClcI oS lucit uHIcSeTNt. An un
due reserve may arise from mistaken notions
Of what constitutes self-reSpect, but at worst
it Is the excess Of Il virtue. A corresponding
excess Of unrescrvc shows that the man who
displays it does not know what the virtue
means. Nulgar-minded people believe that
good manners are altogether contained in
cordiaIity and that corliality consists mainly
in an oyerIlowing readiness to a~k and to
answer all questions regardless Of results.
There is nothing which they will not ask
nothing which they are not ready to tell.
They have no inner shrine of their own, and
they do not dream of there being any such
sacred place in the minds OF Others Relig-
iou~ doubts, spiritual aspirations, annual in.
come, your feelings to wife or husband or
sister-in-nw-0ll and everything must be
held Tor common wares, to be handled and
stared at without let or remonstrance.
In the minds Of these yulga folks man
can have no right Of private property in
himself. Their theory is sort of moral
communism; each person is to hold his ideas,
emotions, and all the rest Of himself, >ubjcc,
20 the constant right Of inspection in any.
body who happens to think that they both
belong to the same circle. And the double.
Sidednc@s of this makes it especially obnox,
ious; for, if it is particularly unpleasant tc
have to unboSom oneself at Il moments no
tice, is it a much pleasanter thing to keel,
yourself in readiness to receive the unbuS-
omed selves Of other people? The probable
secret Of the eagerneSs of 50 many persons
to receive the condolences of their acquaint
ances IS, that they are thus enabled by al.
iays 0f fairness and rer;pc2,i'y 70 reta,iate