The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1874-12-09
From the Danbury News.
THINGS GENERALLY.
BY MAX ADELER,
THE COLD-soLIDIFIED PROCESS.

er day and said that he had very
useful invention which he would like
to describe to me so that | could
make notice Of it in the paper.
Il want to explain to you, he said,
"a new process | have just invented
for the manipulation of cadavers. It's
the most beautiful thing of the age.
You take an interest in medicine, !
s'pose? Well, you'll be delighted
with this. You know the great trouble
with cadavers is that the organs will
collapse. S'pose n, for instance, | was
to cut you up. S'posen l was going
to examine your left lung. Why, be-
fore I'd got half way down to it, it
would lie all shrunk, all kinder shriv
eled up and shut together, like that
jes' like that felt hat when you've
been setting on it.
Indeed! / was not aware"
"Yes, indeedy And it's the same
way with your other organs. If l was
investigating your stomach or your
glands, they'd all collapse and lose
their rotundity and fall in kinder like
| old sausage skins, SO that l couldn' t
have any satisfaction in dissecting
you"
That would be disheartening."
"Disheartening! That's not the
word. It's worse than that. It's
! awful rough on the doctors, tell you;
and it impedes the progress of science
When | tackle you with dissecting
knife, for instance, | want to see just
how you look inside; how you look
NOW, when you are alive. | wouldn't
| give cent to examine you when the
walls Of your inwards are all doubled
up and curly"
Neither would [. 1t would be
very uninteresting."
well, then, don't you see, what we
want is to Tx you up somehow So S
this can't happen; SOS when l souse
into you, your vitals I'll look natural
and perfect and properly distended.
A collapsed corpse is nuisance; but
one that's prepared right is worth
morc'n when it was alive
You surprise me.
Eyes, sir. Well, now, I've discoy-
cred how to do this thing SO S it'll be
ship-shape and according to Gunter.
And the way | do it is by the use OF
what | call The Cold Solidified Pro-
cess. Don't understand it, hey? Well,
sir, it's simply splendid. It makes
the most satisfying cadaver you ever
saw. Perfectly lovely. | guess I've
! turned out some OF the most fascina-
ting remains that ever went on a col.
lege table; and the doctors are just
wild about it.
What's the peculiar method Of
Of
well, s'pose, now, wanted to gel
you ready for the sophomore class
round here at the college. The frs
thing I'll do would be to plunge you
into zinc box. part filled with Ger
tain chemicals which l keep secret
| keep you shut up there for four OF
FIVE hours, according as you're tat OF
lean, and when | lake you out you r,
froze hard, or kinder hard. just So,
you won't be actually brittle. A brit
tic cadaver is simply spoiled, unles
you can thaw him out even, al
through, and that difficult
Il should think so.
IF you re frozc properly, you r
ready for business. And you'd b
astonished to find how convenient an,
valuable you are. If lieut. you in half
there 1 have all your organs just a
they were in life. If | split you dow
vertically you present beautiful spec
tacle. II | make diagonal cut
there's everything in the most delight
full condition And all this time
mind you cut just as easy as old cheese
little crumbly, may be, but still fri
and not bit pulpy."
| 1T would be bad to be pulpy.'
Yes, and ten chances to one ca
take you and begin at your shoulder
and slice you down inch by inch jus
like Bologna sausage. and you all tn
time presenting the most imposin
views Of your diaphragm and sue
places, and preserving a hard shin
surface that makes it pleasure t
keep the knife a going. l tell you ii
great-it's absolutely GREAT; that
what it is, and science has got bi
thing in it. If you don't exactly un
derstand it, Ill"
"Oh, / understand it perfectly"
Because if you don't, | was goin
to say I'd freeze a subject and bring
round in my buggy and let you goug
it with your pen-knife just to see Nc
don't want to? All right. But yo
say something about it in the pape
won't you, and I'll solidify pig or
chicken for you, SOS you can see ft
yourself. Good morning"
Old Keyser found Cooley's bo.
the other day, standing in a very SUI
picious position under his best app
tree, with a stick in his hand, aud
certain bulgy appearance about h
pockets. Having secured him firm
by the collar, Ketser shook him up
bit, and then asked him sternly VIII
he was doing there
'Ain't dom nothin' .aid Coole
Il come over yer to study"
That entirely too thin, exclain
ed Keyser.
"Yes. did. l come over yer
study about Sir Isaac
Sir Isaac! What in the thund,
do you mean, anyhcw?'
Why, Sir Isaac Newton We ha
it in our lesson. He was in an O
ehard and seen an apple iall, and tn:
made him invent the traction of gra,
ltatiOn; and come yer to see IT 1T ";
So"
1T won't do, sonny" said Keyse
You're too enthusiastic about S
Isaac. And, besides, what were ye
going to do with that stick?"
With this stick? This yer sticl
What was l goin' to do with tn
stick? Why, a boy gave me this sti,
to hold for him while he went on .
errand for his aunt"
l And where did that apple-co
! come from there on the ground?"
THAT apple core-that one lyil
,, there? The birds is awful on appl
this season. l seen black bird dr.,
that there, and says to myself, the
birds are just ruinin' Mr.. Keyse1
apples. and won't Mr.. Keyser be a,
t full mad when
e What makes your pockets bul