Litchfield enquirer., 1874-09-03
OEiPpsNos.
" Hbme1oby defines Airtatioirto be atten- N ti6n without ifItehtio0ss A 2 Es

Rmstoby defines Airtation to be atten. ssti6n wifhout iiltehti0ns 1 aA
 Appropriate weapons for duel between Yale and Harvard-Fouling pieces. -s- ! TEAthief rdhnihg away is a scamp. bu, the pOliceman's chase after him is scam. per. t1r1, a How Patrick proposes to get oyer his ' single . biessednessABy proposing to Bridg it. Jones says that why he isn't married is because that when he wooed she vouldn't.
 Chicago has a dried apple population. They swell almost one half about the time the city directory is published.
 An exchange thus sharpens an old saw. ''The young man who parts his -hair-in- the-middle and his money are soon part 0u .eRns Gxutf
 Now that we are to have an Oriental 4useum in America, why not include among the curiosities the feather that broke . camels back?
 The Hub is gratifed, as regards the foliage of the common, that the diet of worms has been adopted by it's sparrow. chial guardians. .r
 Is them the common dog sassage?" in- quired venerable looking lady. as she surveyed a bunch of bananas over her spectacles the other day.
 'sFhy are you 50 precise in your state ment-are you afraid of telling an un- truth?" asked an attorney of female wit ness in police court. 'No sir" was the prompt reply. ......
 It IS not often that anybody makes pithier remark in the British Parliament than the member did the other day who said philanthropy is so energetic that cit requires good deal of influence now-a- daysto get hanged" '~s .
 A benevolent physician in Indiana. gavea Fourth of Julypicnic to seven hum dred children, not even such delicacies as cake, strawberries, and ice cream being omitted. He got back good part of his outlay in collie remedies, however before the week was over. '5sr#
 The New York rural ediaors who recent ly went marching through Georgia and other Southern localities, "cut swath of desolation." as one editor describes it, i'cOmpared with which the movement of Sherlnans army was a Spring opening.
 An elderly maiden in Lockport, N. Y, purchased one of the Egyptian mummies ct Niagara Falls Museum, the other day. for parlOr ornament She said it would seem better to have a man around, even if he was advanced in life and withered.
 .'Your handwriting is very bad indeed" said Q gentleman to college friend, who was more addicted to boating than to study: 'tyo1 really ought to learn to write better"
 'tAy ay," replied the young man, 'tit is all very well for you to tell me that: but if l were to write better, people would find out how spell. -,.',....
 Colonel Haskell, of the Boston Tran script, c man of geneaal experience and tact aays that form of tender confession m Boston is something like thls: "Dear- est, believe me, l do love you with my whole other being the emotions which pervade my undivided grey matter, and if I were conscious of a ganglion that throbbed but for thee, be sure would not sleep till had procured it's neurotomy." It is all owing to the recent visit of Dr. Brown &c., quard.
 The editor of the Burlington Ua. )Hawk- eye has discovered a woman who will get up at six o'clock, kindle the fire, get break fast f0ut out the family, wash the dishes and six children, sew a button on the neck of her husbands s shirt and hunt his hat sEgO ton mission Sunday-school and teach class, attend church, rush home and have dinner over and the things clear cd away in time for the afternoon Sunday school. read the Sunday school papers to the children. go to church at night, and talk on her way home about Sunday as ''a day of of rest"
 It is not every one whose theory about endorsing notes is as good as that. of the snall Scotch laird who was waited on by a neighb0r, to request his name as, an ac- cOmadatiOn, to bill for twenty pounds, at three months;
 : Ma. ma, I canna do that"
 Why for no. laird? Ye hae done the the same thing for ithers''
 "Ah, Tammas, there's wheels within wheels ye ken naething aboot canna dot"
 Its sma' affair to refuse me, laird"
 ''Weel ye see, Tammas, if was to pit my name tilt, ye wad get the siller frae the bank, and when the time cam round ye wadna be ready, and wad hae to pay't; an then you and me wad quarrel; sac we may just as weel quarrel moo, as lang as the siller's in ma pouch"