Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1874-08-25
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An exchange says that 1928 fonC
hearts were made to beat as SOD il
Philadelphia last year.
A New Hampshire lady died recent
ly after having read the Bible through
thirty-four times.
Why are elergymen likJrailway pOr
tiers because they do good deal o
coupling.
Without having special reference tC
Susan B., We should like to know "Wha
is home without mother ?"
-In St. Louis everybody is considerat,
and therefore a daily paper remarks
1.-TWO gentlemen and lady left for tn,
Penitentiary last week"
1t has been said that it is better for Q
woman to be laughed at for not being
married than TO be unable to laugh because
she is married.
Gracious me- exclaimed lady in the
witness-box, "how should know anything
about anything don't know anything
about2"
OF their local crusaders the Leaven.
worth Times feelingly paraPhrases 4; They
drink not neither do they sin; yet Solomon
in all his glory was not a raid like one Of
these"
The Danbury News says a rain under
the auspices Of the United States govern
ment, set in Saturday afternoon. This is
the hest thing ever said against centra liza
ton.
An exchange SAYS that "A Michigan
man dreamed recently that his aun, was
dead. The dream proved true He tried
the same dream on his mothcr-in-law, but
it didn't work.
A Kentucky breach Of promise suit,
wherein forty thousand dollar, were claim
ed, has been settled for thirteen dollars
and a mule, which is just about the figure
the jury would have returned.
An Iowa Judge has decided that a
''feller can wink at gal in spellin' school
withost laying himself liable to a breach
Of promise suit" but alas the spelling
school season has closed.
An exchange announces a death in
high life in this fashion: The Dowager
Duchess of Richmond is dead. She led an
uneventful life, and vas passiouately fond
Of boiled salmon"
Jones says that he always makes mp
his mind regarding the value Of horse
by the abundance, length and beauty Of
his tail, for its we!l-attcSted fact that
"all's well that ends well"
-George Washington Crawford Web
ster Harrington Hunt hung himself in
Ohio the other day. His parents ought to
have known when they named him that he
couldn't stand it always.
The Saturday Review tells of
Scotch clergyman who quoted text of
Scripture in his prayer, and added. For
that, o Lord, Is the correct translation OF
the passage
A paper in Nebraska, under the head
of an hour with our business men" de-
scribes two saloons, and ends the item with
the remark, This completes the round Of
business houses on the public square"
A Vienna journal recently contained
an advertisement offering the services Of
anna AgrikOi, sick nurse, watches dead
bodies, repairs straw chairs, applies leech'
es, and makes pastry, desserts and deli
cacies."
A wide-awake minister, who found
his congregation going to sleep before he
had fairly commenced, suddenly stopped
aud exclaimed. Brethren, this isn't fair
it isn't giving a man half a chance. Wait
till | get along, and then if | amt worth
listening to, 60 to sleep, but don't before
l commence; give a man a chance"
A Yale student, who is evidently in
the Journalistic" department, writes a
twelve verse poem which is entitled. I'VE
kissed each other by the sea-" We'll,
what Of it ?" asks Western journalist
1.-THE seaside is no better for such practices
than any other locality. In fact, we have
put in some very sweet work of that kind
on the towpath Of canal in our time, but
did not say anything about it in print"
The Anti-Secret Association Just held
in Syracuse adopted resolutions opposing
Free Masonry. because they say il omils
the name OF the Lord Jesus Christ in its
form Of prayer. quotations from Scrip
ures. etc. because OF the alleged ex.
ciusiOn from membership of all old men
in their dOtase. young men in their non-
age, inIbeeiles. eripples. and MANNED per.
sons. all in feeble health, and women
the persons above all others most need.
inc haman svmnaihY and charity; be