Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-09-09
Wan Lee as Printers "DeviI."
BY BRET HARTE.

BY BRET HARTE.
1t was deemed advisable for the next
three weeks to keep Wan Lee closely
confined to the printining-office and
the purely mechanical part of the bust
ness. Here he developed surprising
quickness and adaptability, winning
even the favor and good will of the
printers and foreman, who at first look
ed upon his introduction into the
secrets of their trade as fraught with
the gravest political significance. He
learned to set type readily and neatly,
his wonderful skill in manipulation aid
ing him in the mere mechanical act,
and his ignorance of the language con-
fining him simply to the mechanical
effort combining the printers axiom,
that the printer who follows the ideas of
his copy makes poor compositor.
He would set up deliberately long dia
tribes against himself, composed by
his fellow-printers, and hung on his
hook as copy, and even such short SEN
fences as Wan Lee is the devils own
imp, "Wan Lee is Monaghan ras-
cal, % and bring the proof to me with
happiness beaming from every tooth
and satisfaction shining from his
huckleberry eyes.
It was not long, however, before he
learned to retaliate on his miscellaneous
prosecutors. remember one instance
in which his reprisal came very near
involving me in q serious misunder
standing. Our foreman's name was
Webster, and Wan Lee presently
learned to know and recognize the in
dividual and combined letters of his
name. 1t was during political cam
paign, and the eloquent and fiery Col.
Starbottle, of Siskyou, had delivered
an effective speech, which was reported
especially for the NORTH ern Star. In
very sublime peroration COL Starbot-
tie had said: I'm the language Of the
god-like Webster, repeat, and here
followed the quotation, which I have
forgotten. Now, it CHANGED that Wan
Lee, looking over the galley after it
had been revised, saw the name of his
chief prosecutor, and of course i'm
agined the quotation his. After the
form was locked up, Wan Lee took adj
vantage of Webster's absence to re-
move the quotation, and substitute
thin piece of lead, of the same size as
the type, engraved with Chinese char
acters, making sentence which, I had
reason to believe, was an utter and alb
ject confession of the incapacity and
offensiveness of the Webster family
generally, and exceedingly eulogistic of
Wan Lee himself personally.
The next mornings paper contained
Col. Starbottle's speech in full, in
which it appeared that the "god-like"
Webster had on one occasion uttered
his thoughts in excellent but perfectly
enigmatical Chinese. The rage of Col.
Starbottle knew no bounds. { have
vivid recollection of that admirable
man walking into my Office and de-
handing retraction of the statement.
"But, my dear sir" [ asked, "are
you willing to deny, over your own
signature, that Webster ever uttered
such a sentence? Dare you deny that,
with Mr.. Webster's well-known attain
ments, a knowledge of Chinese might
not have been among the number?
Are you willing to submit translation
suitable to the capacity of our readers,
and deny, upon your honor as gentle
man, that the late Mr. Webster ever
uttered such sentiment? IF you are,
sir, I am willing to publish your
denial
The Col. was not, and left, highly in
dignant. a
Webster, the foreman, took it more
coolly. Happily he was unaware that
for two days after, Cinnamon from the
laundries, from the gulches, from the
kitchens, looked in the front Office door
with faces beaming with sardonic de-
light; that three hundred extra copies
of the "Star" were ordered for the
wash-houses on the river. He only
knew that during the day Wan Lee oc-
casionally went off into convulsive
spasms, and that he was obliged to kick
him into consciousness again. A week
after the occurrence I called Wan Lee
into my Office.
"Wan, said, gravely, CT should
like you to give me, for my own per-
sonal satisfaction, translation of that
Chinese sentence which my gifted coun-
tryman, the late god-like Webster, ut
tered upon a certain occasion Wan
Lee looked at me intently, and then
the slightest possible twinkle crept into
his black eyes. Then he replied, with
equal gravity:
"Mishtel Webstel, say 1China
boy makee me belly much foolee. China
boy makee me heap sick" Which I
have reason to think was true. -Scr5b-
aaer's for September.
A Sensible Will.
The will of John Wyatt, G. B., Sur
geant- Major of the Coldstream Guards.