Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-01

- - - AA1NiASo sOA4S1 IL III NhAullllCIGuCc,
about 4 pounds in weight, and has more
eyes than Argus.
OF the last thirty three commissions
issued to Second Lieutenants in the United
States army, thirteen Of the men were pro-
NOTED from the ranks.
Miss GODFREY, Of Bennington, Vt, is
under arrest for dragging her father down
stairs feet foremost, because he opposed
her dancing round dances.
A PHILADELPHIA bookkeeper added the
year 1872 to his column of figures, and as
he couldn't account for the deficiency in
receipts he was arrested
In the coal mining regions of Illinois
they cure whOOping cough by taking the
patients down the shaft The subterra-
mean air is said to be curative.
Busy Dubuque editors improve each
shining hour by calling each other
Glars, !" "scoundrels," and "perjured vii
lains''
THERE is double ignorance, as the
late Mr.. Mill once observed in Parlia-
ment, ignorance of the fact that we are
ignorant.
A NEW YORK manager advertised for
supeTnumeraries, and had 1000 applica-
tions. Two-thirds of the number were
respectable young girls.
A YOUNG man in Missouri shot him
self the other day while going to church
on horseback. The first instance of the
kind, perhaps, on record.
ONE thousand two hundred of the teach
ers IN the New York public schools have
petldoned the board of education to re-
store corporal punishment.
A VOTING mon, d.
four breach of promise suits on hand.
His anxiety "to be an angel" is described
as enough to wiring the stoutest heart.
A PENNSYLVANIA auctioneer sold a
mutf worth about SO for S22, and drop
ped dead while taking the money. The
doctors try to make out that he had heart
disease.
A QUERULoUs Bostonian objects to pay
ing the gas cOmpany's bill of S18 for the
frivolous reason that there were no burn
ers in his house during the time charged
for
a CORRESPONDENT of the Toledo Blade
recommends the following lotion for
freckles: BOrax three grains; rose water
five drachms; wash the skin once or twice
week.
THERE is graveyard near Shelbyville,
KY, on which potatoes are raised every
year. The tOmbstOnes are taken up in the
spring and replaced after the crop has
been dug up.
A YOUNG girl in Troy who became exas-
perated with her family, took her reven ge
by stealing a shawl, that she might bring
them into disgrace. She was sent to jail
for ten days.
ELF-CULTURE, as eliminated by Laura
Fair in her lecture on that topic, com
mences with a putty blower at ten PAGES.
From thence, by rapid gradations, to the
popping pistol.
A LARGE number of ladies in Spring
field, Mass, have been poisoned while
gathering forest leaves this fall. One
physician has twenty cases of poisoning
by alder leaves.
JOHN CARPENTER, of Jersey City, said
that his daughter shouldn't go to a party,
and she got up and informed him that she
had been married for eighteen months and
was her own boss.
A REPORTER of the New York World
has discovered a restaurant where dinner
can be had for five cents, and now the
staff OF that paper breathe easier, and hope
10 winter it through.
AN Ohio jury the other day acquitted a
thief who stole fifty pounds of flour and
made up a purse of fifty dollars for his
family, to keep whom from starvation he
committed the theft.
ONE of the most successful farmers in
Kentucky is gentleman who has been
blind since he was eight years old. His
farm Of two hundred acres always looks
IN thriving condition.
THE wedding cake of a couple recently
married weighed forty pounds, and was
IN the form of a three-stOry brown-stone
front, with a sugar bride and bridegroom
coming out Of the front door,
THE citizens of Waterford, N. Y, were
recently alarmed and indignant at the
fact that a boat containing fifteen and a
half tons. of nitrO-glycerine was lying in
the canal at that place.
MYRA GURNEY, of South Abingdon,
Mass, has put, in six months time, over
400, 600 stitches, and no one knows how
many ounces of worsted, into picture of
the father of our country.
DULUTH, that zenith city of the I'M
sailed sea, " has closed for the winter. No
business is being done, and the keeping of
the city is left to one officer, the police
force having been discharged.
UNTIL every good man is brave, we must
expect to find many good women timid-
too timid even to believe in the correct
ness Of their own best prOmptings, when
these would place them in a minority.
A CHICAGO lawyer told a jury that he
seemed to see j band of white-robed angels
lowering about the head of his client, who
was up for DEMONSTRATING. The jury
brought IN verdict of guilty.
THE Poultry Bulletin says: "Mr. John
Bennett, of Sunman, Ripley Co., Ind,
writes to the editor to say that scours in
chickens can be cured by giving milk,
warm, that has been scorched with a red
hot iron.
HERE are many reasons for not Sleep
ing in church. In North Adams, Mass,
somnolent young gentleman upon awak
ing found his false teeth lying upon his
bosom, with many heartless neighbors en-
joying the spectacle.
THE editor of the Vicksburg Herald
spent $500 on a church fair, hoping to get
the prize of $4,000 in gold, and drew a
brass chain and photograph of George
Washington. This world has no further
pleasure for him.
THORoUGHBREDS.-W we call the
thoroughbred" horse was created in Eng
land by the importation of horses of both
sexes from Arabia and Barbary, and by
the Judicious commingling OF the foreign
with the native blood. Through contests
on the turf and the right kind of crossing,
the horse was gradually imnroved or ele-