The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-08-13
pIRIGRAPHS OF ALL SORTS.

I
buy a wisp broom.
A Chicago father whose son wanted to
enter Columbia College declined because
it is too near Brooklyn / /
A Boston woman, who objects to nude
statuary, has ordered q figure of Venus
cut out Of dressed marble.
Fort sully has a post chaplain, and, as
is claimed the only one in the army that
can't tell a iacl(. EoW akipg' s5NGLA |
ellis life now hangs by a thread" was
the-note made by pOetical reporter as
murderer was strung up.
"IfI should die, dear, where would yol
go?" go? Go after your insurance |
money" was the reply of a fond wife
Keokuk has been tossing pennies to a
hand organ man, who ownsa $4,000 farm !
in Wisconsin, ard feels bad about it,
A Michigan farmer laughed until he |
slipped his jaw out of joint, and now his
wife says she believes in special proyi-
dences.
Asan excuse for rejecting a yidower
fair young damsel informed friend that
she ''didn't want warmed over man."
81 wouldn't have left but the people
kinder egged me on" said man who was
asked why he quit his Kansas home IN
hurry. VI ID
"Ladies without distinction Ofsex, are
| invited to a mass meeting in Dublin, with
generosity Characteristic of the noble
Hibernian.
A young lady at Cairo played . gameof
euchre with q young man TO see II she
should marry him. She swung for the
jack and caught him.
Once friendless and alone, Delaware
woman has now q husband and twenty
three children. This shows how one true
friend leads TO many.
Absent.mindednes finds its highest il
lustration in the case of the Fond dll Lac
girl who went to the post office for letter
and forgot her own name.
uSerious complications have arisen be-
tween France and Germany regarding
Spanish affairs, and diplomatic rupture
between the powersis threatened
Hush! Tread lightly through the busy
streets. Speak kindly to your wife Lay
ish every possible tenderness on the little
ones. The watermelon is here.
The latest phases of the Beecher-Tilton
affair is that everybody denies everything
tbat has ever been said by everybody
else Somebody is evidently lying.
The Boston Advertiser says; "The pro-
prietor of q Cincinnati hotel adyertlses
that his guests viii receive civil treat
ment. How does he manage to dispense
with clerks?"
A pretty Wisconsin girl rides into La
Crosse on n steer, sells her butter, buys
her groceries, and canters .out, with a
whoo-oop, which has won the heart OF
every young man in the town.
A couple of policemen in Galveston,
Texas. having been mistaken for thieves,
the Galveston Neys speaks of the occur
renee as "an awkward predicament,"
Awkward, no doubt; but how natural !
Money is highly appreciated in Della
ware. A resident of that State, who was
charged with arson, exclaimed: Me
burn that widows barnl Heaven forbid!
No sir, wouldn't do such thing for
, fifteen centsW
A cloud of gloom and sadness over
spreads the land, and newspaper readers
weep 1t will be ayear-a whole year
before any college commencements will
thrill the bosoms of the American peo-
pie. -
Ae old lady writes to say that she is
warmly in favor of women doctors for
: women: that sick woman will tell one OF
her own sex more about her feelings in
FIVE minutes than she would a male doc
tor in an hour. s-
) The Worcester Press speaks Of a con-
temporary who hires small boy to come
t in at intervals with a step-ladder, and
dust off the top of his ears. The other
fellow SAYS the Worcester man fops his
t own to have them busted,
"I never had trouble or a sorrow,'
i saws Emerson, (which l could not forge
= I'm fifteen minutes in the Retusal Of some
. hyorite author."h We gather from thii
: remark that Ralph w. never had boili
: nor cold in the head and we congratu
g late him. Z ~
A few days ago lady in Bloomfield
. Iowa, went to the post office and asked
! for stamps. The clerk handed her somt
q some green ones. She asked him if h
didn't have any7pink; her stationery wa
q pink, and she wanted stainpsto dnatch' :
Judging from the items we continual!
Q meet with in our exchanges there is thi
: wear an unusual crop of six-legged calves
l. four-legged chickens, two-headed ducks
and such abnormal creatures. There can
be much beauty or usefulness to any Q
D them.
r A Texas paper gives its opinion of tn
e Beecher-Tilton business, after readin
& everything that has appeared on the sub
iect." If that editor has really read eve
/ rything that has appeared on the subject
/ his opinion must be that of an insan
" person.
J. The taller who fell on his knees befor
l. the APOSTLE and asked what he must do +
4 be saved, was hardly more agitated thai
v the legion of eager candidates who are II
hot pursuit after iailerships in Keniuck.
this summer. The keys possess a won
drous magnetism.
e A Pennsylvania paper compares tn
y pastor of Plymouth church to an "ange
h on the battlements of heaven, invulner
n able in his celestial armor of purity, con
i templating with sigh of sorrow the re
r. morseful writings of lost spirit. Tn
4 editor doesn't say whether his use 0
. words is technical or not.
s PRETTY GOOD FOR A DOG.
Carlo and Dick are dog and a cat il