The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1874-07-16
MARK TWIN AND THE COMET.
Humor Applied to Science-A Remark
able Celestial Excursion.

This is to inform the public that IN con-
nection with Mr.. Barnum | have leased the
comet for a term of years, and | desire also
to solicit the public patronage in favor of a
beneficial enterprise which we have in view.
We propose to fit up comfortable, and
even luxurious, accommodations IN the
comet for as many persons as will honor
us with their patronage, and make an eX-
tended excursion among the heavenly bodies.
We shall prepare 100000 staterooms in
the tail Of the comet, with hot and could
water, gas, looking glass, parachute, UNI
brella, etc, in each We shall have bill
liard-rooms, card-room MUSHROOMS, bowl
ing alleys and many spacious theatres and
free libraries and on the main deck we
propose to have driving park, with up
wards of 10000 miles of roadway in it.
DEPARTURE OF THE COMET.
The comet will leave New York at 10
P. NJ. on the Goth instant No dogs will
be allowed on board This rule has been
made in Difference to the existing state of
feeling regarding these animals, and will
be strictly adheared to. \ substantial iron
railing will be put all around the comet, and
no one will be allowed to go TO the edge
and look over, unless accompanied by
either my partner or myself.
THE POSTAL SERVICE.
will be of the completest character Of
course the telegraph, and the telegraph
only, will be employed, consequently, friends
occupying state-room, 20,000,0 900 and even
80 900, 900 miles apart, will be able to send
a message and receive reply inside of
eleven days. Night messages will be half
rate The whole Of this vast postal system
will be under the personal superintendent
Of Mr.. Hale, Of Maine. Meals served at all
hours. Meals served in the state-room
charged extra.
We shall take with us, free of charge,
\ GREAT FORCE OF MISSIONARIES,
and shed the true light upon all the celes-
tial orbs which, physically aglow, are yet
morally in darkness, Sunday schools will
be established wherever practicable. Com
pulsory education will also be introduced.
The comet will visit Mars first, and then
proceed to Mercury, Jupiter, Venus and
Saturn. Parties connected with the gov
ernment of the District of Columbia and
with the former city government of New
York, who may desire to inspect the rings,
will be allowed time and every facility.
Every star of prominent magnitude will be
, visited, and time allowed for excursions to
points of interest inland.
Clothing suitable for wear in the Sun
should be provided Our programme
has been so arranged that we shall seldom,
60 more than 100,000,000 of miles at o
time without stopping at some star. This
will necessarily make the stoppages frequent
and preserve the interest of the tourist
Baggage check through to any point on
the route
After visiting all the most celebrated
stars and consultations in our SYSTEM and
personally inspecting the remotest sparks
that even the most powerful telescopes car
now detect in the armament, we shall pro
ceed with good heart upon
A sTUPENDous VOYAGE
of discovery among the countless whirline
worlds, that made turmoil in the might,
wastes OF space that stretch their solemn
solltudes, their uninaginable yastness
billions upon billions of miles away bevonC
the tarthest verge of telescope vision. I'll
by comparison the little sparkling vault W,
used to gazeaat on earth shall seem like
remembered phosphorescent flash of spangle
u which some tropical yoyagers prov stirret