The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-01-09
Rags and StOYe-Pipe-A Mad Dam
huriau

bur1an.
Itwas some time last spring that Mrs.
Coville read in a paper that idle stove
pipe might be kept from rusting by fill
ing the lengths with bits of carpet, rags,
etc. After the parlor stove was takeu
down in May, she made trial of the
recipe by filing one of the lengths as
advised. On Thursday, she being away
from home, Mr.. Covi1le conceived the
idea, and a great deal of credit it re-
Elected upon him, of putting up the
stove and starting fire in it so to sur
prise her when she came home. He
went to work at once. He got the stove
out of the closet, and put it ON the right
spot. Then he got down the pipe
where it had been carefully laid away,
and after much tribulation, succeeded
in getting it together and up in place.
With this much accomplished, he de-
voted some ten minutes to fondlin5 his
fingers and specializing on the astonish-
ment and qualification Mrs. Coville
would experience on her arrival After
this indulgence, and very pardonabIe it
was, Mr.. Coviile arranged his kindling,
put on a bod of coal, and applied a
match. The paper blazed up at once,
and then died out again, and volume
of smoke pulled into the room. Mr..
Coville was surprised. He got down
on his knees, and putting his mouth up
up very close to the CRATE, was prepar-
ing to establish powerful current of
air, and was just on the verge of doing
it, when another puff of smoke shot out,
filling his eyes and penetrating his
throat and nearly binding and strang-
ling him. Mr.. Coville rolled over once
or twice to get out of the way, and,
reaching his hands and knees, coughed
and expOstulated for some five minutes
in that position then, feeling somewhat
revived and refreshed, he made
close examination of the hampers and
the pipe where it connected with the
stove and the chimney, but could find
no solution of the mischief. He applied
another match, but the smoke again
rolled out in the room, and it was only
by an almost supernatural jump back
ward that he saved himself from an
other strangulation. He next took all
the coal out of the stove and made
thorough examination of its interior,
but there was nothing unusual in its ap-
pearance. Puzzled, annoyed and an
gered by his i'll luck, he put in more
kindling replaced the coal, and again
applied the match. There was another
blaze-strOnger than before, and an in
creased volume of smoke shot into the
room. And it continued to come, in
spite of the violent protestations he
made, and he was obliged to beat an in
glorious retreat, stopping in the hall to
cough and wheeze and swear. When
he opened the door again the room was
full of smoke, and it was in the midst
of it, feeling his way to the stove and
coughing and screaming, Mrs. Coville
found him on her arrival. The presence
of the smoke, with the actions of her
husband. made but one impression upon
Mrs. Coville, and she promptly shouted
" fret" and started for the street, but,
fortunately, was overtaken by her an
gered husband, and dragged back in
time to prevent scene for the neigh
bors. OF course, Mrs. Coville did not
know what was the matter with the
stove, SO she said it was the way the fire
was made, but seeing her husband grow
white about the mouth, and observing
him jump up and down, she prudently
amended this opinion by substituting
the pipe, and on the symptoms before !
mentioned continuing she hastily aban- |
doned the pipe theory, and was about |
to confess that she didn't know what |
was the trouble, when sudden thought |
struck her. ooh p said she; "did |
you take the rags out of the pipe ?"
'' Rag8!" said he, "Why, yes 1 put |
some rage in one of the lengths to see if !
it would prevent it from rusting, as the |
paper said" "You did?" he gasped,
showing very plainly by his looks that
he knew one or the other of them was
bereft of reason, but was not quite con-
fident which one. Eyes, faltered Mrs. |
Coville, instinctiyely moving toward the |
stairs. Mr.. Coville stared at her for
full minute, while Mrs. Coville care
fully examined fly over the door, and |
then, with a single exclamation which
we will not print, he silently ierked |
down the pipe, and as silently pulled |
from the link in question sundry pieces |
Of rag carpet, jacket sleeve, and
night cap. AS the last article made its
appearance Mr.. Coville felt as if he
should melt in a shower of tears, but |
changed his mind, and fell |
to kicking the articles about the room |
in a most insane manner, while Mrs. |
Coville precipitated herself with COM
mendable dispatch. What Coville |
wants now is, to find the paper which |
contained that advice. = Dan6uyy
Meas.