Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-08-27
Anmuruns department.
4 TOUGH CUSTOMER

IoCai TctuTuS any sooner IMAM OCner people
He had induced a tailor to trust him for sui
of clothes. After considerable time had elaps
ed, the tailor called on him and presented the
bill for payment.
"That bill isn't right" said the local, after
glancing at it.
"What's the matter with it ?" asked the
man of tape and shears
"Dldnt have any coat-never ordered t;
coat. got a pair of pants and a vest, but nc
coat"
"Certainly, you had coat. I made you
a whole suit all of one piece
"You tailors are all of a piece. I'll pay
you for vest and pants, but I'll be hanged
if III pay you for a coat, cause I didn't have
one"
"Well," said the tailor, glad to get some
thing on the bill, "Pay me for the vest and
pants"
"Now wyou're talking sense" said the picker.
up of city items; "come Saturday with the
bill made out right, and I'll settle it"
Saturday came, and with it the tailor, bring.
ing bill for vest and pants. Local looked
at it then burst out:
"What robbers you tailors are Here you'v
got me charged with vest and pants. Re.
member the vest very well, but you never
made pair Of pants for me in all your life
at least, I never ordered you to-
"Well, confound it, pay me for the vest
and I'll say no more about il"
Call right" said the local "drop in Wed.
nesday, and will settle for the vest"
The tailor did drop in on Wednesday with
bill for the vest. AS soon as the local saw
him he sprang to his feet with All impatient
air, thrust his hand into his vest pocket
bringing out small roll of scrip, and ex
claimed "See here, Sam Thomas, tell me
how much that pair of socks was, and III
pay the bill. I'm tired of having you run
ming here every day for that little account
Tailoring's dull, amt it?''
Sam went away sorrowing, for he was MAI
Of great possession-in bills.
WoMAN's RIGHTS. The following are the
opening sentences of an address on this sub
ject by Mrs Skinner:
Miss President, Teller wimmen, and male
trash generally: am here to-day for the
purpose of discussing womans rights, recus
sing their wrongs, and cussing the men.
equal, with the woman little more equal
than the man.
l also believe that the world would be hap.
pier to-day if man had never existed.
AS a success, man is failure, and bless
the stars that my mother was woman
not only maintain these principles, but
maintain shirtless husband besides.
They say that man was created first. Well
s'pose he was. Amt first experiments always
failures?
fl was betting man, would bet $3.50
they are.
The only decent thing about him was a
rib that went to make something better.
And then they throw into our face about
taking an apple. I'll bet five dollars that
Adam boosted her up the tree and only gave
her the core.
And what did he do when he was found
out? True to his masculine instincts, he sneak
ed behind Ewes Grecian bend, and said
"'Twasn't me; twas her." and woman has
had to father everything mean and mother it
too
What we want is the ballot, and the ballot
we're bound to have, if we let down our back
hair and swim in sea of sanguinary gore.
Two ANCIENT FAMILIEs.-A very search
ing investigation was carried on, few years
ago, in the north of England, by two families,
who were hunting up their respective ancestry.
The strife was great between them, each
one being determined to look back in antioui-
ty farther than the other.
One of the families, whose name was Spencer,
employed an artist to paint an historic scene
representing the building of the ark by Noah
and his sons, with its multitudinous cargo.
On the gang-plank leading to the deck Of the
ark, two men were seen rolling up huge box,
on one side of which was painted, in large
letters, "Relics, insignia and papers belonging
to the Spencer family"
This was considered coup d'etat hard to
beat but the other family, not to be outdone
in the antediluvian pretensions of their name,
prepared, at great cost and research, a record
of their antiquity. In describing the exploits
of one Of their ancestors at very early day,
who was represented as man of great author
ity, this remarkable passage occurs "During
this gear Adam and Eve acere driven out of Par.
adise ''
THEN He WASN'T AFRAID.-A good story
is told Of the manner in which the English
volunteer artillery practice with an Arm.
strong gun, by the London Figaro. Having
set upon Rye Eeach target little larger
than man, they stationed about twenty yards
away from it, in lateral direction, one Of
their number known as Big Bob, to warn
away the shrimpers The first shots flew
wide of their mark, some ofthem so ferocious
ly near to Bob that he got nervous, and was
about to 90 away from there, when sudden y
spang went big ball through the centre o.
the target. "I'm all right now" said Robert
calmly feeling for his pipe; they've laid or
another gunner, and the fool is firing at me
III have good smoke"
sas- A young lady in San Jose, Cal., abou
Il month ago, secretly married the man Of hel
choice, and then went right along attending
to her business as though nothing had happen
ed. But the other day the happy couple con
cluded to publish their marriage in the Ner
cury, and the old man saw it. Showing th'
notice to his daughter, he sternly demanded
"What does this mean is it Joke, Maris
Jane, or is it reality?' The daughter raised
her head, her face suftused with bushes, ant
answered: "Ies, father, it is joke-on you 7
The old man weakened.
A PIECE OF IMpUDENcE-This anecdot
is as good as it is old A college professor ell
couraged his geology class to collect speci
mems and one day they deposited piece o
brick, streaked and stained, with their colec
tions, thinking to impose on the doctor. TAX
ing up the specimens, the professor remarked