Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-01-10
REPORTERS REVERE.
Singular Effect Of Twins on ST
Louis Journalist.
From a st. Louis paper.

LfUbd y 9ts 1Dttls IlapEf.
A young woman in a street car
with two results of her loves
young dream, of a year old, sit
ting up in her arms like two funny
little china images. It's immedi-
ately assumed that the funny lit
tie results are twins. They are
dressed alike, and have similar
chubby little fat legs, and fat
dumping fists, and the turned-up
fat little nose ofthe larboard baby
is the identical spit of the baby
on the starboard, and they are
both endeavoring to make hearty
meals out of the dumplings in the
same beautiful style of early can
nibalism. They stare at each
other out Of their bright goblin
little eyes, as if they were very old
acquaintance indeed, and could
tell a thing or two of each other il
they would, but are bound by a
solemn compact not to divulge,
until they are through with their
contracts for finishing the dump
lings.
They must be twins, and are so
much alike that nothing less than
a mothers instincts can tell the
difference between them, and even
then it is wonderful how she can
do Ii without a strawberry mark
stamped somewhere on one of
them. Yes. looking again. there
is a distinction. The larboard
baby has the dirtiest little nose
ever exhibited by a reputable
twin with chubby legs within the
limits of a public conveyance. We
look in Wonderment at the baby'S
nose, and rush to the conclusion
that a hydrant has bursted some
where in his inside. If it isn't a
hydrant. what is it? One fact is
patent-the larboard cares no more
for the interior hydrant with q
nose attachment than he does for
a financial panic Nor the star
board baby either.
The poor little mother-she is
not much bigger than a good-sized
family Thanksgiving turkeys
terribly anxious about the nose of
the larboard baby. At any other
time that dirty little nose would
bea Well-spring ofpleasure to her.
but it isn't now. She rubs it with
strong parental resolution, always
the wrong way, and with q red
cotton handkerchief, until the
nose of the larboard baby is as
ruby red as a beet. and the lar
board baby looks up in her face,
as if to say, "How long, o Lord,
how long" All this time the
starboard baby is smiling wonaer-
fully bright smiles of goblin joy,
and kicking up his absurdly club
by little legs totally unmindful
Of the proprieties Of high toned
society. Altogether, he looks as
if there was nothing in this world
half so pleasant and enjoyable as
the contemplation of the dirty lit
tie n9se Of his larboard brother be-
ing rubbed red hot.
We take long five cents worth
with those chubby twins and that
happy little mother with her red
cotton pocket handkerchief, and
we got out OF our way to see her
rub her larboard offspring the
wrong way of his nose. As for
the starboard cherub, nothing can
be more sublime than his enjoy
ment of his brothers martyrdom,
while both larboard and starboard
continue to elevate their legs in
most disgraceful manner, and gum
their dumplings with q persever-
ance worthy Of all praise. There
Is, after all, one great good in
dirty little nose as long as it lasts,
we thought, as the mother and her
twins left the car; this woman
can tell larboard from starboard if
they happen to get mixed up.