The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1874-09-30

fur will fly"
-"Can YOU do the landlord in the
eT,adv Of LYONS p" said manager to
a aee1Iv actor, ST should think L
might, !" was the answer, "I have done
a great many landlords.
The Detroit Free Press man has
inst returned from Saratoga. lie says;
6 The Saratoga bellies merely taste 1ooo
a. fl1a table. but fee the walters to
bring a square meal up the back
stairs.
q three. card monte" expert is re-
,,ortea to have offered the directors o.
kba IIg,ion Pacific railroad bonus OF
lf llaa 80, xsnuna for the exclusive
little game q Their |,
lalis sS ID dead, but before
,,s snirit; was waited to the angels ne
ro1,7aatod r,,o that watermelon vine might
ho aITowed to wander at will over his
green grave, that it might be warning
to future generations. ,.S
A Miss Raikstraw, Of st, Oswai%%g o., ES
Grove. Manchester, has recovered 3IUU
breach of promise damages from joseph
q Nottingham, Portsmouth engineer
This is the sort of thing Joseph useo 10
send her during hisstive years court
ship:
aT ask not IL the world unfold
A fairer form than thine,
Tresses more rich in glowing gold,
And ewes Of a sweeter shine,
Tt is enough for me to know
T1hou too art fair to sight;
That thou hast locks Of golden giow
And eyes of playful light"
TT now requires $12O to buy sty'
Iish French night-dress, such as an
aristocratic lady goes to bed IN, ana
the man who is mean enough to toss
down seventy-fye dollars and tell ms
wife to make that do can never secure
second wife.
ARGUE not with O man whom you
know to be of an obstinate temper, Tor
when he is once contradicted his mind
Is barred against all light and informa-
tion argument, though ever SO we'll
orounded, provokes him, and makes
him even afraid to be convicted OF the
truth.
"A Kentuokv crusader confessed the
other day that she had kissed sixteen
men. and thus drawn them from the in
tpxicating bowl. She gave the names
of the men, however, and their wives
are now inquiring with much anxiety
whether whisky drinking is as bad as IL
is generally supposed to be.
The pounding of the stomach for
the cure Of dyspepsia was the cause OF
n good Joke the other day. Two men
were describing what they had done to
cnre Themselves. "Do you knead YOUR
stomach ?' "I-T-couldn't get along
without it !" responded the other, in
the last stage of astonishment.
in one of the Cape towns young
scholar, the first day of school, was
asked her name by the teacher, and re-
piled. Her fathers name was the next
question, and she did not know his first
name. The teacher then asked her;
esWhat does your mother call hlm|
"You Jackass," !" said the child.
"A miss, upon whose faxen curls
the suns of fourteen summers had shed
their feryor. came home the other after
noon. weepinp as If her heart would
break. and meeting a playmate, ex-
claimed, in paroxysm OF grief, y,
Dora. we were engaged to be married,
and Charley's got the measles
A lady sitting in her parlor, and en-
gagged in the dreamy contemplation OF
| the moustache OF the young gentleman
who was to escort her and her sister 10
| a musical festival, was suddenly awak-
ened by an ominous whisper IN Q luVen,-
| lie voice at the door, You've got
Ann's teeth, and she wants EN-"
A Detroit young woHnan tried to be
aristocratic. and did not look at the
money that she gave TO horse-car con-
| ductor. but he meekly gave her back
the Iozenge on which was written, LII
never cease to love thee" and said that
he was an orphan with five little broth
ers to support, and must be excused.
| The cash sales of the grange coop
eratiye store at Los Angeles, GAL,
Amounted to over $4,000 the first
month. They act as middlemen for all
farmers. both buying and selling. a
new oarer mill is to be started. the cap
itaI TO be furnished by the Changers,
and the water power donated by the
city. ..-.,z. 4,,rr ~
mind determined to test the boasted
nrobitv of the descendants OF the Ph-
orim Fathers. and accordingly fastened
his oocket-book TO Plymouth rock, with
| q notice that the owner would cali for
Il IN fbe following morning. When
he vent 10 recover his treasure the next
day he didn't find it, but he saw sew
eraI of the descendant" string on
fine neiehboring fence rails, waiting tof
| a repetition of the joke.
A story is told Of New York re.
porter who, fearful that be might no1
e,ot the address which was to be dellY-
cred at the funeral of prominent CIT
1 izen. knelt beside'the preacher While he
,ras nrayino. abstracted the manuscr1pt
/ from the Iatter's rear pocket, and fortn-
zv;tb carried il off. The clergyman,
thinking his paper had been lost, aellY-
cred himself extemporaneousiy, puD
tha next morning discovered his error;
his written address being printed IN iuil
In the newspaper.
Rev. DR.. OuyIer writes: Say what
we NAV of the rapid growth OF QUE
American towns, the monster strides f8
4he British metropolis always ove,ss
j wheIm me. London nov contains
eOl mo people It almost equals PART
New York and Brooklyn combined lnp
one. You can drive fifteen miles Of
one of its diameters. When, IN my COZ
. Iepe-b3y days, 7 once went out to pay
nv respects to Joanna Baillie, the emil
nent aTfhoress, who lived near Harafs-
stead hin. I walked clear out of foWn
ord ever ooen fields. I am nSw stay
, mo AZ fhe hospitable houss Of ou1
friend the Rev. Eewmsn Hall who
J resides ON the same Hampstead Hill