The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1874-01-27

IL ne could; but as he can t, does all he
can to show the world he S not man.
A fashionable young lady dropped one
false eyebrow In church pew, and badly
frig htened a young man next to her, who
thought it was his moustache.
Where shall [ put this paper SO as to
be sure of finding it tomorrow p inquir-
ed Mary Jane of brother Charles. "On
the looking-gass.' was. her brother S
reply.
At prayer meeting in Maine, few
days. ago, one of the members prayed,
Lord, thou knowest that Charles Temp
kins has sold poor boots to some of US.
Make him do the fair thing"
Have you seen my black faced ante
lopez" inquired Mr.. Leoscope who had
collection of animals. of his friend,
Bottlejack. mo, | haven't. Whom
did your black faced auns elope with ?"
A Kansas City tombstone pays the
following beautiful tribute to innocence
with yell and woop
He died OF he Group
A reader" IL New Britain very
truthfully and Indignantly asserts that no
woman, however nervous she may be,
has a right to wake her husband from a
sound sleep to tell him on his inquiring
what Is the matter, Nothing, only
wanted to know ifyou were awake
That was good advice which an old
man gave to his sons: Boys, don't you
ever speculate or wait for something to
turn up. You might just as well go sit
down on stone in the middle of med
der with pal! twixt your legs and wait
for a cow to back up to you to be
MIXED"
A preacher took up collection on Sun
day and found, when his hat was return
ed that there wascn't penny in it. Il
thank my Cod said he turning the hat
upside down, and tapping the crown of it
with his hand, that [ have got my hat
back from this congregation"
A young lady in Lancaster has the
initials, 7. NJ. G. A, engraved on one
corner of her visiting cards, which she
hands to certain gentlemen visitors. At
first they suppose she belong to the
Young Mems Christian Association, but
it is not long before they rightly construe
the letters to mean You May Come
Again.
Another dreadful warning to snuff-ta-
kers comes from Columbus, Ohio, where
may be seen the man whom snuff sent to
the penitentiary. One night, when rob-
bing a bank, yielding to depraved appe-
tlte, he took pinch, and the fatal sneezc
betrayed him. That sneeze, too, was
his last. for in the penitentiry he is deni-
ed snuff.
The editor of the Louisiana, Mo-,
Press. in relating what he knowes about
farming, touches up the hog question in
this style TO make Berkshire pigs out
OF your hazel spitters. select cool day,
Stand them on their hams, tied to sap
ling, and drive their noses back into their
shoulders, leaving about an inch protru-
ding. If you look at the agricultural pa
pers, you will see that all blooded hogs
are fixed that way If you have any
whose noses are longer than the rest Of
the bt dy, better sell them to an artesion
we'll company for drills, as you cannot
drive the nose back without telescoping
the whole pig. When you cut up hogs,
leave the ham square, leave some hair
too, salt eyerlastingly, and they will be
worth several cents less per pound than
when trimmed and cured so that Chris
tian can eat them.
Near the Golden Gate Park, San Fran
cisco, lives one Hughes. bachelor, who
raises hogs for the market. 90 Monday
afternoon, Mr., Hughes fell into his well,
and, being unable to get out, was obliged
to wait patiently for help, meanwhile
standing up to his waist In water. AS
no one passed near the place he shouted
until hoarse in hopes of making some
one In the park hear him. On Tuesday
morning, the carrier of the Gail left a
paper at the house, and the man in the
well, hearing footsteps, called Loudly, but
the carrier was 10 hurry, and thong h
he heard seine one, he did not know
where the sound came from, and bad no
time to investigate, On Wednesday
morning, the carrier noticed the paper OF
the preceding day on the steps, and,
hearing at the same time voice, he
thought something must be wrong. 50 be
got off FROM his horse and finally found
Hughes in the WELL He immediatly
procured assistance, and the man was ia
ken out alive, altough, of course. in an
oy,ar,Sfa ed condition AS ha - n ,,.p