National Republican., 1874-05-07
ON ZOE.
BIG THING GRAPHICALLY DESCRIBED
IN HUMOROUS WAY

there with scores of swift gallants and graceful
lassies, made an enhancing picture. 1 found
my way down to the ice, and stood on the
brink of this intoxicating delight, fully enjoy
ing 1t. My early education on skates had been
wofully neglected. never so fully realized
this as when / stood on the edge Of the pond
with my feet firmly embedded in the snow on
that December evening, and looked at the
lights, the people and fun. Very lean-legged
men whirled and SKINNED before me. A very
short, squatty-looking boy bore down from
somewhere and took a position in front Of me.
He had q pair of skates dangling from his
arm, and something else, not quite 90 large,
dangling from his nose. He was queer look
ing boy. When he stopped he seemed to shut
himself up like telescope. His head settled
down between his shoulders, and his body
came down upon his legs, as though they had
an intention Of breaking down those valuable
members of society. he evidently had some
thing heavy on his mind. He drummed his
heels on the ice before me, and looked sbsently
at the gayety all around him. While studying
him, commenced to feel an overpowering de-
sire to get out on the pond and distinguish my
self although had no very well defined idea
how was to do It. Ny gaze alternated be-
tween his skates and the ice for some time. I
have since thought the boy was hired by some
body to take up that position, but had no
thought Of the kind at the time. Such
thought, then, would have been worth two
hundred dollars; cos.ing when 1t did, 1t was Q
damage to me.
Finally hailed the young man, with view
to mounting his skates. He was corrupt to the
core, and q twenty-fve-cent stamp overcame
him like o summer rain. He threw down his
skates at my feet, and turned his attention to
the stamp. He held It up to the light, and
then between him and the light; then he
rubbed 1t between his fingers. Its genuineness
satisfied him, and he put 1t carefully away be-
hind his clothes somewhere.
''Is your heels boredP' he asked.
"What do you mean by that~ asked.
"Why, for corks on the skates" he an
swered, looking at me curiously.
felt that had said something that fought
not to, but told him to put on the skates, as
had rheumatism in my wrist.
l sat down on the snow, and he went to
work. He was a long time doing It. The
was too short to be of any use. sat there
long enough to absorb all the moisture for a
yard around me. When he got through he
told me to get upon my feet. I got part way
up, and then it happened to occur to me that
this was the first time / had ever been har-
messed to two skates at once. The reflection
was weightier than would seem possible, and
sat down.
"Guess you never skated for a living 7" re-
marked the boy, taking hold of my hand.
"Not that remember" said family.
l let him assist me to my feet Just as party
of young people went skimming by. The owner
of the skates was philsnthroplst in his way.
He pointed to the party, and said that they
were skating round the pond on q wager, and
asked me not to run over them. 1 had all
could do to resist desire to start in chase of
the party and run over them, but managed
to repress It.
felt so nice to be on my feet that told him
guessed would start out. I was dIsap-
pointed in one particular. ! thought 1t would
require an effort to start of, but 1t didn't.
While I was deciding between shooting across
the pond like q comet, and marking out q
spread-eagle in the very center of the ice, a
sudden movement of the left skate diverted my
attention, and the next moment was looking
at the lamps through my legs and humping my
head ferociously against the ice. This sur
prised me, and 1t interested the boy. The
more 30, as held in my outstretched hand
portion of the hair that once adorned and pro-
tected his scalp.
"Why, what on earth did you do that for"
he asked, looking at me with considerable un-
easiness, and holding his hand on his head.
didn't make any answer. saw that had
created sensation-besides my head ached.
BE helped me up, but noticed that he didn't
show the enthusiasm he brought to the first
effort; and, also, that when he got me to
perpendicular, he showed an inclination to
avoid me.
He kept one eye on me, and the other re-
volved toward the shore. This angered me.
81 wont hurt you," said.
"I don't want you to-" he answered.
"Why don't you stay by me then," asked.
"Because amt got much hair, and amt
old enough to wear a wig"
1t was useless to argue with him, and be-
sides, the skates were acting a little uneasy.
Ny knees were wobbling back and forth with
increasing speed, and I didn't know but they
would become unhinged.
"What are you trying to do nowi take your
self apart he asked.
This query exhausted my patience. braced
my knees up, and moved of. l was again too
rufned, and felt very damp where didn't want
to. The owner of the skates was pleased with
this movement, but not quite so intoxicated
with delight as to forget his caution. moved
off about two yards, then brought up so quick
as to wrench my back, but kept my feet.
However, that crsmp in the back troubled
me, and concluded If I had to crack my spine
whenever stopped, wouldn't stop again. I
got along for a couple Of yards very well, as
the ice was cut up here Then I sat down to
rest. didn't really intend to rest there, but
as 1 sat down, might as well rest. Like
many amateurs, was careless of my sitting
place, otherwise would have went an inch
further, and avoided small paving stone.
felt quite contented here; there didn't ap-
pear to be any danger. The proprietor of the
skates didn't share my satisfaction, however.
"AIn't you goin' any further" he asked.
'Not yet," said.
"But suppose 1t commences to thawP
couldn't answer this, and diIn't want to.
A little ahead of Us were an old gentleman and
a young lady. The young lady was on skates,
and the old gentleman was helping her along.
The young lady was very handsome, and be-
came interested in her progress. concluded
to help her.
"Come here, Mr.. Hickey. and help me up
again" said to the boy.
"My name amt Hickey, though I don't
know what # is; my head is so sore" be said,
as he pulled me up on my feet. had him hold
me while straightened my necktie, and then
l told him to let 60 when said s'ready." I
laid back for stunning movement, and opened
my mouth to give the signal when he abruptly
let go. / made an effort to catch myself, but
It was sbortive. 1 came down with force suffi-
cient to split the pond wide open, and to send
the damp part of my pants up into my throat.
The young man made all haste to get me up
again. He was really frightened. He said:
II wouldn't do that again, If was you"
assured him would try my best to sup
press any desire to do it again; but venture to
affirm that wouldn't try to control an inclina-
tiOn n LnocL bia head OF &c he ra,,oo1o5 "a.