Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-09-03
WHOLE NO. 1911.
From Grave to Gay.

L
Mountain have gone back TO card
playing since the volcano proved I
failure.
A Milwaukee man got despondeni
the other day, and wound up bis
ideas of hereafter on o near rafter.
-Neto York Commercial Advertiser.
Here is an obituary gem from the
death-column of the She'll Rock
MINI. Enterprise.
On the plains of far Iowa,
Where the spring. thine grasses wave,
Fragrant breezes now sigh low, ali,
Dirge above my grandma's grave.
The western clergyman who
| preached sermon in billiard-sa-
loon made nineteen points, and had
just got warmed up TO his work
when the proprietor entered and told
him to "run out"
A farmer in Wyoming county is
thinking of going to Colorado, and
writes to friend that he would "like
to find some widow like the one
named Ruth, who for second hus-
band married q chap with the sb-
surd cognomen of Boaz, and who is
ready like her, to say, 'Where thou
gov est will co."
Some time since Father Ignatius
was about to preach at a we'll known
church. A popular hymn of Watts
was sung before the sermon, and
when it ended the preacher repeated
slowly the last line, Demands my
soul, my life, my ALL" adding
"Weli, am surprised to hear you
sing that. Do you know that Alto
gether you only put fifteen shillings
into the bag this morning !"- Church
Herald.
A one-legged soldier, Mormon,
recently asked Brigham Young to
supply, by a miracle, the missing
limb +; but the Apostle, not TO be
caught, made this reply: 81 can in
an instant produce a new leg in the
place of the old one, but then, you
sec if I do, it will cause great incon-
venience to you in heaven; for after
your oxaltation to glory, the original
leg will come back to the spiritual
body; mine also being of Divine orl-
gin becomes immortal, and in this
case, observe how very awkward a
thres-legged angel from Utah would
appear among the Inhabitants of the
eternal worldP'
The venerable DR.. Tying rebukes
a habit in which he says some clergy
men INDUCED, viz: He has seen
one take his guild of tobacco from his
mouth before prayer in highly fin
isheG pulpit and lay it on the marble
slab, and, after praying. put it in his
mouth again. The Herald and Pres
6yter says off the Doctor is simply
for preserving the slab from defile-
ment, we can suggest a remedy in
the habit of minister we once knew.
Before going into church be put his
quid into crevice in the brick wall,
and after service took to chewing it
again"
The Rev. Mr.. Parry, the eccentric
English preacher of Worcester, Mass.
whose peculiarities have been 80 oft
en- quoted, occupied the pulpit of the
Fourth Congregational Church at
Hartford, Conn, last Sunday. In
the middle of his sermon he suddenly
paused and placed his hand over the
region of his heart. "There was a |
pang there" said he, "as though my |
heart were in the grippe of great |
He looked at one of
his hands. ooh, it's mosquito" he
Hartford is an awful bad
place for mosquitoes" Hs went on
to say that he shouldn't know that
he had a heart or hands without such
The following is said to be popu-
lar song in Duluth
Beefstake when I'm hungry, Il
Whiskey when I'm dry,
Greenbacks when I'm hard up,
And Heaven when die.
A Columbia clergyman who, while |
preaching sermon on Sunday even