The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1874-01-31


4 made Mrs. S4nillsas mad as forty
the ether night, ssidg Squills F; Il had
left MY latch-key at home and had to
ring the old lady out Of bed.
L hated to do it, of course, said
Squills; but 1 could not roost out all
night on the door mat, and when she
came down she looked the reverse of
rosy, | tell you,
Its extraordinary, Mr.. Squills, you
can think of your latch key. Making
me come down night after night she
hadn't done it for year, said Squills,
waking me out of my first sleep, and
catching my death of cold, and blowing
| mylnose half off usth the rhssaamatism.
z tried to LOOK as sorry as ifshe had
lost her latch-key, and sknockedsmc ou,
of bed instead, said Squills.
Never mind, Mr. Squills; only wait
| till dear baby catches the consumption,
and then you'll wish you'd never seen a
latch, key, perhaps
Catches what, my sweet love?
Consumption, Mr.. Squills Latch
keys have brought more blessed babies
Ftoa their latter endsSthan you dream of.
Mr9 squills, and L only hope my nos e
-t' Won't strike intoababy's lungs aud carry
her off, that's all.'
Il hope she would not be abducted in
that way, said Squills, '.nd then saw
was In dor it. So, when l got up stairs,
| ppllod of my coat aud bonts put on
NY dressing gaEn, lighted my pipe, drew
my chair up to bhc fire, and sat down to
wait tur the hurricane. 1t wasn't long
coming. She was sitting bolt upright
IN bed sasesp 'nstahe spllows, and [ knew
That anoaat igLt'ES IS
8 tarr. sau,ll,, Fin sorry you bought
I5n.,it,ou for ratu,laorrew. ! 'astiSss 81 ..,,..-.
Why. my sweet Iove5y =. !.
,tY,u Eknew another never touches
mutton. What's thHt- So? SHY a,cold
ta:er ut her and let her go No, AIr
Squils, slall not let her go aud ]
shall not shy . cold ns.ter at her. sup
pose that Disgusting Yulsarity at the
lodge. a pretty thing iu,lecd A man
who i,cdlls himself respectable, telling
the wife of his bos,me to shy cold
tater ut her own mother. Id have you
know, Mr.. S4uills, that my mother ism t
that kind Of a woman; ynu can't shy
cold potatoes at her with irnpunity, and
s7hats ttiore you s au't.'e r. yaeanll
,,a Nor, roast mutton. either L said,f.
My family wasn't raised on cold pota
toes, in old Virginia, Mr.. Sqqaills,. what
ever your family was. Wliats the
matter 'Siia hiutton3Y Asked your own
heart, Mr.. .sqnills, icyou have sneart.
You know you might us we'll set her
down to nhiess ofwool. Aud then, as
that's not cruel enough, you want ME to
shy cold potatocs at t,her. 1.What's that
you say about rip Mr.. squills? Did
you dare to say 'let her rip?' +
I tried to put in here aud explain
said squills, that T. vas only getting off
Rip Van Wrinkles joke, and that
didn't mean anything personal, but it
wasn't of amy use. She had got her
Shenandoah away up, and that isn't
stoppable, you know, ia one of the first
families. tfhf laf
Don't insult me with your beastly
jokes, sir. e.Gan you look that dear
infant in the face, S1uills, after telling
her mother to throw potatoes at her
grandmother, and to let her rip all
because she don't like wool for dinner?
And she shan't eat it, sir. No, sir; not
if l die for it the next instant, Sqails,
She shall have a can Of oysters and
box Of sardines all to her dear old self
in the Kitchen and I'd like to- sue you
throw asclod potato at her. ~,
| This kind Of argument was unanswer
| able,'i said Squills, $50 I sat and smoked
| my pipe and she, subsided. Just as 1
was getting into bed, she looked up aud
said, 'Mr. Squills, don't forget to bolt
the door = t. t,.
The, o.next, day, q don, know where
it came irony but thore was turkey
on the fable, and Mrs. Squills and tile
dear old party from the Shenandoah
Valley were all as, smiling as you please,
1 never said mutton once said Squills.
IInl A famous rat hunt has takeh place at
! diir.st aadd VI Lil q u ~ ". rl .,r.,