The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-11-28

Now that everybody is having horrid cola IL
their head, people can sympathise with 'he love
lorn swain who sang to his inamorata- the othe
evening over in East Ottawa as follows;
The hood is beabg brightly, love
The stars are sliding, too;
| While am gazing dreabily,
Add thigkig, love, OF you;
| You caddot, oh, you caddot know,
| NV darl;e, how bliss you
ION, wadt fearful cold I've got
Ok-tish u! Chick tish-uD
The average female is just now crazy owe
hats If she hasn't got soft felt, with a rakis
crown and thieyish- looking brim, she is Graz
to get one, and if she has got one she is mad be
cause she didn't get the other pattern.
"A few days ago Lewis Fletcher, Of Newton
county contributed an arm to a threshing ma
chin is the way they mention it up in MINES
sofa.
A Nashville paper says that certain life IN
surance company is out nearly $4,000 on &C
count of accurate pistol-practicc in Tennessee
within the last fifteen months.
correspondent believes that the persons who
arranged the music for Fred. Grants wedding
would not have given the overture to Tampa II
they had known the full title OF that opera
which is Tampa; or the Robbers Bride
A Missouri editors name is Wufadam Hi
paper, it is said, isn't.
Joaquin Miller has had his back hair shingled
A toothless Turk can always gum Arabic on
the desert
Dust or mud in st. Louis. You pays your
money and takes your choice.
santanta in prison in Texas would rather be in
the social hall social haul up a tree wouldn't
be bad.
Hon. S. J. Tilden, recently elected governor OF
New York, is an old bachelor. He is over sixty
years OF age, and never was marred.-EI.
How could he be anything else than an old
bachelor, If he never was married, is the conun-
drum.
Freedom didn't shrek much when Poland fell
Patterson Guardian.
No but Poland shriekcd when the last politi.
cal rain fell
Any young miss would rather have her cor
sets tight than her " feller.'
Yes, and the natural hug is great deal more
comfortable than the squeeze Of corsets-the
girls SAP.
A Kentucky editor says: 81 Home without
children is like Heaven without angels" Just
let that fellow wake up some morning when the
baby is a year old, under the impression that
something serious has happened to the Holly
Water Works in that neighborhood!
During the last fifteen years republican papers
nave been announcing that the democratic par.
y is dead. Whose funeral is this, anyhow?
1t is the funeral of the party in the coffin, Of
curse
A German near Sublettc got his collar bone
,roken, by trying to ride mule with a halter
imboy Journal.
Why did he have that halter anyhow?
am ashamed that women are so simple;
o offer war when they should kneel for peace;
'r seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
When they are bound TO serve, love and obey.
-ShdteSpeae.
Was Shakespeare abiding to the crusaders?
Never attempt toform an opinion Of woman's
Teight by her sighs.-ET.
Nor of the sweetness of her temper by her
miles, nor of her ability as q prize fighter from
he gentleness of her love taps.
There are $4,000 idiots in this country who are
acknowledged as such.-Er.
This does not include the idiots who elit re.
nblican papers.
An Ohio girl can make butter by simply work.
~ her arms vigorously throug quart Of cream.
That chance for some enterprising young
rmer!
Yps dgb wi mo la for hnr bpc
and, you butter believe.
A saloon keeper in Dubuque, Iowa, was shot
ne night last week, and instantly killed (Rea-
IN, )-lmproper intimacy with another mans
flee,
If that saloon man had been the average sensa.
on preacher, Dubuque, instead of having
omicide, would have been flooded with state.
tents, and nobody hurt or Killed.