The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1874-01-20
BILLINGS AND BAILEY.


SAYINGS OF THE MODERN PHILOSOPHERS, WISE
AND OTHERWISE.
Energy liz another name for kapacity.
1t requires the greateet ov skill tew hide a
weakness.
Genuine wit don't make. man laff emmy
more than logic duz.
had rather be boy again, than to be the
autokrat of the world.
It liz only step from lazyness tew vice,
and short one at that.
He who suspeckts everybody, should be
watched by everybody.
Thare is two kinds of wize people in this
world, the wze and the unwize.
The coming tailor viii incorporate square
of sand paper in smokers pants.
The man who il the most fraid tew die, il
the one who knows least how tew hv.
beleave pity il more ov an impulse than
principle, for we seldum respekt thozs that
we pitt :.
i don't care what a mans kondishun in
/. life liz, If he liz too mulch for the kondishun
hsis a hero.
An economical couple in attendance at the
fair and festival Wednesday night, carried a
lunch with them.
Tnare liz plenty ov pholks in this world
whoze hartes bleed for the poor, but whoze
pocketbooks never do.
Human natur is like cow natur, have
known them both tew Civ good mess ov
milk, and then Xix it over.
The more a mans qualitys are, the more
he will be found falt with-dust on a dia-
mond liz alwuz more noticeable than dust on
a brik.
The more humble man IL before God, the
more he will be exalted-the more humble
he liz before men, the more he will git rode
ruff shod.
Whenever forlorn kat gifts under yure
windo, in hot mite, and begins tew boiler,
va may kno that kat wants something
killing, probberly.
post hole, and trieing tew hatch the hole out
w kan cum tew the konklushun that she is
strikly one idee goose.
hav known people who waz virtewous
just bekause they waz lazy, they hadn't
snap enuff in them tew brake one ov the
ten commandments.
1.-THE days are growing longer" observed
Mr.. Spiggs to his family, Friday morning.
eyes, I have noticed it. interrupted his aunt.
''They are half a minute longsr added Mr..
Spiggs, in the same tone of voice. AS no re-
ply was needed to this the aunt made none.
Whenever yu see yung man hanging
around korner grosery, and drinking 3
SCENT gin every time he kan git emmy boldly
tew ask him, WI kan make up yure mind
that he haz bin unanimously nominated for
the staff prizon, and will probably git his
elekshun.
An Essex street lady sitting in her parlor
and engaged in dreamy contemplation of the
moustache of the young gentleman who was
TO escort her and her sister to the festival
was suddenly awakened by an ominous
whisper in a Juvenile voice at the door:
you've got AIMS teeth, au' she wants
'em.
The mother-in-lsw we hear so much OF sp-
pears to be the husbands. Isn't there an
occasional wife who has motber-in-iawf
One o. our prominent citizens on his way
home with a neighbor, Thursday night
reached his premises in the midst of an ear
nest enunciation of his theory of the plan
cts, and braeing his back against his fence
and leaning his elbows on the top, finished
his argument ant veRt into the house. On
taking off his beaver 0vercoat he was re-
minded that the fence had that day beeo
newly painted by the condition at the back
and sleeves Of that garment. He didn't say
anything about the planets. He simply LAID
the coat on the floor and danced around it
and wrung his hands, and snatched tufts o.
hair from his head, and screamed such
dreadful things about painters that his wiz
tainted dead away ANY one who would
like to exchange new overcoat f0x an ex-
tensive knowledge of the planets will learn
something to his advantage by addressing
Israel Welsh, Danbury.