Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-08-22
MISCELLANEOUS.

Corn bread?, said an Irish wait
or; we havn't got it; aud isn't it
corn bafe ye manet'
A man named his best hen Mac.
duff because he wanted her 10 LAY
on
Who killed the most poultry?
Hamlct's uncle, for he did murder
most FOUL
'Sweet-all same pudding said
Digger squaw with a double
handful of grasshOppers to a won
dering traveller.
A.young lady in Desmoines put
vitriOl on her scalp to take dand-
ruff off, and what scalp she has
left doesn't bother her any.
If 1 should die, dear, where would
you go?' Go? 90 after your insu-
rance money was the reply of
fond wife.
Mamma-'O, Edith, won't you 90
and kiss DR.. McCluskie?' Edith,
aged three years-1 don't like TO,
mamma. You kiss him first
An Ohio country editor is look
for new journeyman compositor.
The last one he had set up 'Mr. Til
IONS averment' so as to make it
ad Mr.. TIlton's varmint'
A gentleman, on presenting a
zee collar to his adored one, said
(Ta l.A II
ample it, NO, DEAR she replied,
Ill take it off,
Fashionable clergyman: Let us
continue our worship this morning
y listening to a piece of sheet mu-
c which the hired quartette will
please execute
A sure cure for . setting hon
put her on live CLAIMS instead of
eggs. AS the CLANS begin to get
warm they open their shells, and
the hen don't go on that nest the
second time.
1t was the Denver News that
called Robert Collycr the Beecher
of the West. Collyer is out in that
region, now, with shot gun, and
the News man thinks that he was
rather too hasty.
The colored people Of Washing
ton have a Grand United Order of !
Sons and Daughters of Liberty. -
When they get together, there is
more grand united disorder than a
dozen policemen can 9uell.
The New York bankers nave |
been praising financial editor be-
cause no told the truth. If he |
keeps on doing so, the time will
come when most of them will be |
glad to celebrate his funeral.
A surgical operation has been
performed upon the foot of the !
race horse Tom Bowling, which it
is hoped may cure his lameness,
and enable him to resume his turf |
career.
what brought you Ia prison, my
colorcd friend?' said a Yankee to a
negro 1.-TWO constables, sab. -
Yes, but L mean, had intemper-
ance anything to do with itP-I
Eyes, sab, dey was bof of 'em
drunk
Tho Mount Carmel, ILL.,, Register
says: Two thousand seven hun
dred and sixty-three gallons of
blackberries have been picked in
this vicinity the present season; and
in picking them GAL women got
100000 chiggers on them.
Neighbor-'Good morning, Mr.
Old man-'How'dy.'
Neighbor-'How is Mrs.
health this summer
Old man-'She's little better,
Pm afraid she'll summer through.
An ingenius young school ma'am
over IN Polk county, Oregon, has
invented an efectual process to
subdue refractory urchins. She
stands them on their heads and
pours water down their trowsers
legs.
Frederick Bastier, halter of
San Francisco, declared that he
was the inventor of an apparatus
by which woman can be proven
red from talking, and at the same
inc remain perfectly happy. He
was promptly sent to the Insane
asylum.
whats your businessP said u
magistrate of Police Court the
other morning to prisoner. Pm
an observationist, your worship
An observationist! what is THAR ]
Ono who looks around in the day
time to see what he can steal at
night, if it pleases your worship
Here is Japanese recipe for ,
keeping meat fresh in hot weather: ;
Place it in u clean porcelain bowl
and pour very hot water over it so
as to cover it. Then pour oil on
the water. The air is thus quite
excluded and the meat is preserv- 5
ed.
Two young men out riding were
passing farmhouse where a far
mer was trying to harness an OBJ
stinate mule. won't he drawn
said one of the men. 'Of course
said the farmer hell drawn the
attention of every fool that passes
this way The yeung men drove {
on. {
SmYthe was telling some friends
about a wonderful parrot, hanging
in a cage in the door of a store on
State street. why said he, that
parrot cries stop thief so naturally,
that every time l hear it l always y
stop. Now, hang it, what are you Il
all laughing about?' u
y Lynn dog goes about the
streets with his muzzle attached to
his tail, and blanket, the super Z
scription of which gives out that :
the dog law, which requires tho y
wearing of the ornament, does not :;
designate the place of wearing it. =
The Police Court is looking into =
the books. " ',
BE careful how you drink, or \
you'll wash tho color from your ii
checks" said gentleman at fash i
ionable party, as he handed a glass n
of water to lady. There is no q,
danger of your ever taking water g
enough TO remove the color from ii
your face was the good-natured re- a
tort. n,
: a romantic York girl thought to c: