davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
THE TnroN-HGIonEn WHAT is 1r,"
BY wnABrER T1TMAN

BYwHALTER TITMAE,
lncomprehensible thingumbob Gigantic mys.
terry!
cycloean suggestion OF might. could, would, or
should
Battling the wherefores, and by darkness illim.
liable surrounding the everlasting "Why
Not9"
starless, sunless, and even by gaslight unillu-
minated-Enceladus OF questions.
Clmmerlan triumph OF intellectual mazel
Prize pumpkin of modern riddles!
Potage of snarled twlne and tattered splder.webs
ecclesiastical.
Himalaya Of bamboozlementi
Great crawfsh OF the social seas and saoerdota I
likewise.
odium theologlcum, and go and come again,
Which II to be, or not, Is why, or Which,
Here seeing that by what We think we see,
And nothing see at all.
Squirm wriggle, twist,
Git in, git out, git Under and on topl
Lie low, lie high, lie everywhere.
Squat, kick, bite pinch,
And utter thy barbarlc yawp
Above the roof OF the Chrlstendom
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

VNHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fully inform the citizens of Albany and Vi
einity that he has taken charge Of this Establish
nent, aud, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects to suit all
those who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
ne expects to give entire satisfaction to all.
Szf- ChildIen and Ladies' Hair neatly cut
and shampoOed. JOSEPH WEBER.
v3n33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31

A HUMOROUS citizen Of Gwinnetti,
Ca, arrayed himself in the attractive
garb common TO females and allowed
a Walton County man to be married
TO him.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
4 49, -
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Business notices in the Local oolunps., rs
cents per line, each insertion.
For legal and transient advertisements 81 S
per square of IL lines, for the first insertion
and 81 90 per square for Oaoh subsequent in.
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31

AT s o'clock last evening goodly
number of the personal friends Of
Hon. J. W. Nesmith, Representative
in Congress from Oregon, assembled
at the Cosmopolitan Hotel to hear
that gentleman make his first address
since his return from Washington
City. The City Band was in attend
ance, and their music attracted quite
a large crowd. Shortly after 8
o'clock, in response to repeated calls,
Mr.. Nesmith appeared on the bal
cony of the hotel and made the fol-
lowing remarks:
Mr.. Nesmith's Speech.
My friends and telIoso citizenS:'-
Permit me to return to you my very
sincere thanks for this testimonial to-
night Since my return from the
National Capital I have received
nothing but kindness from the peo-
pie of Oregon, and my only regret is
that | have not done something to
deserve it. I recognize you as my
masters, who last year choose me as
your representative at the national
capital, and I recognize your right to
require of me an account Of my
stewardship. Those great
AUXILIARIEs OF MODERN PRoaREss,
| The TELEGRAPH and the daily press
have already given you synopsis of
what has transpired in Congress.
Perhaps, however, it would be proper
for me to speak with a degree of
particularly of my own labors in
that body. And if, in doing SO, ]
shall frequently use the personal
pronoun L, you will pardon me,
remembering that this is in the
nature of a communication between
yourself and myself
First of all, then, I endeavored to
accomplish what 1 regard as a meas
ure of the greatest importance to you
as citizens of Portland and of this
State. 1 allude to
THE PORTLAND, DALLEs AND SALT LAKE
RAILROAD.
| (Cheers). In behalf of this I en-
ployed my best endeavors. Having
been in Congress before, having
voted, uniformly, for appropriations
for those great enterprises, the I'm
ion Pacific and the Central Pacific
Railroads, and having been a mem
Der of committee which had to do
with those great public works, I WAS
i'll measure committed to the sup
port of this project.
Now, in considering this subject it
should be borne in mind that Oregon
is the only State not reached by
continuous line of railway from
Washington City. There is great
need, then, Of the construction of
this new line. saw it in an early
day before there were a hundred
white men in the Willamette Valley,
having been on this ground before a
stick of timber had been erected
before a white man had camped on
the site of your beautiful city From
those early days the process of de-.
velopment had been slow; but I have
witnessed it all. 1 have waited
patiently for thirty-three years to see
this State, so salubriYus in climate,
so rich and varied in its resources,
take that rank to which she is des-
tined. When I went to Washington,
last fall, 1 found that
LITTLE HAD BEEN DONE IN YOUR INTEREST.
In the early part of the session I
introduced some bills. Soon after, 1
received letter from Col. Chapman,
urging the Importance of this meas
1,re---the Portland. Dalles & Salt
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
sERENADE TO HON. j. W. NEsMITH.
He Gives an Account Of his Stewardship.

THE p, D. & s. L. r. r. BILL Discussed
ALSO THE MoDoo WAR CLAIMS, THE
TARIFF, THE CENTENNIAL, ETC.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31

THERE is good story Of little
boy who, going into a book store
with bis mother, crept up to the ia
yenile of the establishment with the
sly query "Say, have you got any
books for boys that amt got any re-
ligion in 'em.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31

A good thing to DO made Of Maid
Of honor.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
A SINGLE VOTE!

Our political weakness reminds me
of the apostrophe of the Irishman to
the excayating machine: "Your
arms are strong, We can dig a great
deal, but you can't vote!' I am not
unmindful that in this vast domain
Of which l speak there are several
Territories, and that they have dele
gates on the floor of the house; but
these delegates, howsoever much
personal influence they may WELD,
possess no vote. Judge McFadden
and John Haley are both noble,
hard working men. They rendered
me valuable assistance and kindly
encouragement in my labors in your
behalf.
Another subject of which 1 must
speak is
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31

the wants of the country, 1 urged
upon the Committee the overshadow-
ing Importance of giving to us this
line of railroad. And I believe 1
did all that could be done before
that committee.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
THE MoDoC WAR CLAIMS.

In the early part of the session ]
introduced a bill providing for the
payment of these claims, and got it
through the Military Committee.
You haveliyed longon the frontier and
know the impraetioabilities Of getting
appropriations to pay such claims.
You will recollect the past experience
of this State in this regard, am
gratifed to be able to state that all
Just claims against the Government
incurred during the hostilities in the
Modoc country will now, in all prob
ability, be paid. Under this bill
General Hardie has been appointed
to come to this State and adjust these
claims. General Hardie is an old
officers Of the army. You will re-
member that he was here in 1S47,
and that he tried to raise a company
to 60 to Mexico, and occupy the
posts along the Gulf. This was
during the Cayuse war. Gov. Aber-
nethy objected to the taking Of so
manv men out Of the State at a time
when their assistance in the general
defense was sorely needed, and so
Gen Hardie abandoned the project
1 can say for him that he is gentle
man Of established character, honor
and ability, and ! believe, fellow
citizens, that he viii do ample justice
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-07-31
THE TARIFF
T uCk,

Also came up. 1 voted steadily
against the bill looking to an increase
Of the rates, and I believe that in 50
doing / represented the best interests
Of the State Of Oregon. That pro-
tective tariff of which we hear so
much is gotten up, not for the pur-
pose Of bringing money into the
Golfers Of the Government, but to
protect the Eastern manufacturer.
Everything consumed here comes
from the Eastern manufacturer and
paws tribute to him Thus 500, 900,
900 is paid annually by the con
sumers under this infamous system,
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20

MpDLEBunG, KY, March Q, ls7i
c0rresrondeaes Trisrior Jourusi'
Another matrimonial scourge has passed
through the Mt. Olive and Willow Springs
neighborhood. Among the victims are the
following Simon 7. Elliot to Miss Mary b.
Floyd; Jas. +. chatham to Miss Sarah +.
Wilson; james Elliot TO Miss Eliza shackle-
ford; Calvin 7. Elliot to Miss - Bastin
Asa Clemons to Miss Adaline Wilson; b. W.
Clemons to Miss Mary Farberry.
DIED,
Near Mt. Salem, on the 9th ultimo, Mn.
Mamie Jones, at the advanced age Of eighty
five years. She leaves numerous descendants
and friends to mourn her loss.
On 23rd ultimo, in Casey county, on South
Fork Of Green River, Mr.. James Robinson
Mr.. Robinson was highly respected citizen
aud had been honorcd at different times with
public positions. lie was buried by the Ma.
sonic fraternity.
On a visit to the steam mill, on Moccasin
creek, the other day, belonging to Logan, Nc.
Kinney Il Co, We observed a large amount oi
lumber Of all descriptions neatly stacked all
over the yard. The grist mill and shingl,
machine have been completed within the past
few days and are now in full operations. Al
this place a small village hassprung up wher,
year ago the wildcat and other animal'
held almos, undisputod sway.
ETIIELBERT.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20
a Lawyers Interest In his Client.

Smith had several tough bills to collect
and gave them to lawyer lie went
10 the office to receive the proceeds. The
amount collected was about fifty dollars.
IL am sorry that you have been so un-
fortunate, Smith, for | take great inter
est in you. shan't charge you so much
as should il did not feel so much in
terest in you"
Here he handed Smith fifteen dollars
and kept the balance. "You see Smith,
! knew you when you We're boy, and
knew your father before you, and |
take a great deal of interest in you.
Good morning. Come and see me
again"
Smith moved slowly out of the door,
and ruefully contemplating the avails,
was heard 10 utter. Thank God, you
didn't know my grandfather"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20
An Arkansas Marriage.

AT Big Creek, Arkansas, they have a
peculiar fashion which sometimes proves
embarrassing. As there Is no preacher
within thirty miles, the way for marrying
iskissing across a table. Recently New
York drummer was out there. lie put
up at private house and became quite
intimate. One evening he was fooling
around one of the girls trying, gently
trying the extent of her sweet temper,
when, she gave his whiskers a pull and
ran. He followed. She got the table
between them. lie chased her around il
several times. When out of breath he
stopped on the other side, making a
wild plunge, caught her in his arms
and gave her hearty kiss. She then
sat down on the sofa, and they talked
pleasantly for a couple of hours-he
thiaking it singular that she should sit
up so late.
At last she said, Don't you think its
about time we went to bedY
Il guess you are right he remarked,
lets CO.
She lit candle, and he was about to
do the same, when she said, Il reckon
ones enough. One candle will light two
folks to bed
Undoubtedly it would, when those
two people occupy the same room. But
your candle won't illuminate my cham.
Der.
'Ain't we going to occupy the same
room. Amt we married.
'Ain't we what? shouted the gentle
man.
Married Didn't you kiss me across
the table? That married us
A cold sweet spread over the drummer.
He knew that il he said he wasn't married
to her she would make an outcry, and
then her loving and much tabacco-con.
suming father would arise in his wrath
and carve him into outlets, and her
brothers would bring down their shot
guns and empty the contents into him
He mus; be strategic. He must put her
off. So he SAID:
'Fairest OF your sex, permit me to re-
mark that did not know that kissing
across the table constituted marriage
ceremony. But ! am content, have
never seen one who SO completely filled
my ideal of beautiful, sweet, loving
and modest woman. However, | would
never think of holding you to this marri'
age until | had asked the permission O.
your father to pay my addresses to you.
Tomorrow, at dinner, when The entire
family are present, l will propose foI
your fair hand
This satisfied the lady, and after bestow
ing upon him fervent kiss she went to
her room aud he went to his. He pack
ed his carpet bag, took off his boots, ant
made tracks for the nearest railway sta
ton. He didn't feel entirely safe until h'
reached st. Louis. He hasn't informe,
his wife of this little adventure He,
afraid she might wre to Arkansas for the
facts in the case, and then he might ge
arrested for bigamy. Women sometimes
won't listen to reason, you know.-Ma
adelphia Press.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20
The First 10 Tell.

To he the first 10 communicate start
ling news is an ambition most of us must
confess to. There is fascination about
communicating the intelligence of n dis
aster that few of us can resist. We hear
that So and so is dead, and we start at
once for home. Every body we meet
stops TO ask how he does. We say,
"IIow are your" and say it so calmly we
are surprised at ourself. lie stops, too,
and looks at US. The salutation is so
bare of those qualities which go to en-
chain man that he suddenly feels as il it
would have been much better to have
communicated the intelligence at once.
The other party is standing expectantly,
and staring curiously at US. In desper-
alton at the time We are losing, we give
him the news, experience thrill ofgrat-
itu de at the shock it gives him, and start
on again. The nearer we approach home
the greater our fear that somebody may
get ahead Of US after all How il nerves
us ahead. We reach the house; all our
eagerness is gone. We remove our coat
and hat apd while we are hanging
them up. and have our back to the
audience, we say very quietly! That
was rather sudden DEATH" Death
Who is deadf' is cried in rather a
startled tone that makes our finger ends
tingle with joy. "Why, handt you
heard of it" in tone of surprise, So
and so is dead-just died"
Something; so and so is reported dy-
ing-suddenly stricken with a fatal dis
ease, and we put for home with the same
eagerness and we when succeed in being
first with the news, there comes the fear
that after all he may not die. II tortures
US in spite Of all reasoning, and having
set forth in glowing colors the great dan
ger he is in and how sad il is to he for
his family, and so enlarged upon all the
awful features of the coming catastrophe,
that there remains nothing more TO add,
we feel in certain sense responsible for
his carrying out the programme. How
eagerly We watch every intelligence of
him, and how impatiently We wait for
his taking off. As his symptoms grow
more and more uniavoable we grow
louder and more pathetic in our sympa-
thy should he commence to mend We
feel the sympathy oozing from Ms, and
in its stead comes the horrible suspicion
that he may possibly recover in spite of
all. 1t doesn't seem possible that man
who has given out that he is going to die
can have the face to get well again. But
there are people who will do it. Al
though we mention no names. Danbury
Mus.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20

Nearly fifty years ago Thomas An
drew Knight, President of the London
Horticultural Society, wrote an exhaust
i've essay upon the above named subject,
proving conclusively, to many, that
whole potatoes were far preferable to
pieces of tubers for planting. Mr..
Knight, at that time, and for many sue
ceeding years, was considered in Great
Britain the highest authority in the
world on horticultural subjects, conse-
quently opinions carried great weight
among the people. His idea was that
tuber, as a whole, was but one seed, like
a kernel of corn. But we now consider
a potato tuber more like an ear of corn,
containing many seeds, each of which is
capable Of producing a plant equal in
strength and value to the whole combin-
ed. OF course there are hundreds of
farmers who will and do cling to this old
theory of Mr.. Knights, despite all the
science or practice on the contrary. We
should think, however, that the enormous
yield secured from the various new sorts
within the past few years, and frequently
referred to in the agricultural journals,
all Of which have been produced from
cut seed, would begin to awaken the
sticklers for whole seed and set them to
making experiments in this direction.-
No one will suppose for moment, that
the yields reported in the case of the
Bliss prizes for the Early Nermonters
and Compton surprise could have been
secured by planting whole tubers. Those
farmers who believe that whole tubers
are best for seed should look at these fig
ures-5lli, GOT, 437, and 455 pounds,
raised by different men in different local
titles, each having but one pound for
seed. We think these facts and figures
are worth a dozen theories, and well
worth remembering at planting time
Rardi New Yorker.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20

YouR true religious life consists in
standing where God has put you, and
exercising Christian qualities. 1t con
sists in showing pity where pity is called
for; in maniiesting patience where pa
tience is required in exhibiting gentle
ness il needed. Ii consists in torbearing
with others in bearing others burdens /;
in not being easily provoked in think
ing no evil, when evil things are brought
to you; in loving, where other men
would hate in doing, where Others would
sit still. In other words, it is indispen-
sable that the mathematician should
make an application of his problem, so
il is necessary that the theory Of religion
should be applied to life. -Bcecher
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20
TO ADVERTISERS.

The rates we have established hr advertising ~iil he
strictly aihere 10 IN every instance They are a. low
A. any paprr established 90 n hffn basis, With a
wide circulation, do business. We desire choice
advertisements, and vl give preference always 10 a.
val patronage We thtnt tuslnes men vii get value
trceiyei when they employ columns W msking
known their business ~ our hundreds Il rsades ani
therefore, ask one 10 Patrunire "a out ~ charity
nnd DO uot want a uans money unls-s We siNe hin
value received. riancc NJ our paper VIII cun.ince
~hre~d Observers of the svsntsges columns onsf
the hsi husinc men IN this country reire-ni e
IN thein. We could easily oil paper with f,fuign
advertisements sundfy hurshu-s, patent ms-ieinss
sts bat not varking On the les Prndple-
lug sud In tuluians that would blush tn rcc-
omnsnd feaicfs, ~ loser rates than wc thargc
home patrons yHf n 81 Hwe charze all alike, trciFn
aud h-al-ani reject AL that arr not reliable and
worthy the attsntios " rraders. A. an induce-
neut 10 reliable Wholesale busnes hoas--, say that
th. IuuRNkL hss larger circulation In hur cuunties
of Keuturky than all the other keniurky newspapers
cpmhinet.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20

FROM WAYNE COUNTY.


MoSrIcTLLo, Ky, March 2s, issi
Corr,sJcaie.os Ia,cr.or .aurrai'
We are glad to inform you that the
old and oddly shaped house known rs the
"Ingram corner" has disappeared, and in
its place large and commodious brick
building will he erected. combining a
store.house with Masonic Hall above
This work is being done by our enter.
prising young friends Francis and Sallee,
who are moving right along with the
work. We hail with pleasure every ef-
fort in the way of improvement and
must acknowledge our gratitude 10 those
persons who are brave enough to move
in that direction. Captain Stephenson
has recently added beautiful residence,
in the gothic style, to our town, contrib
uting greatly to its appearance.
The railroad is still the subject Of con.
versation here and farmers are pitching
in lively with the expectation of finding
n market for their cereals directly or in.
directly while in process Of construction.
Some changes have taken place in bus
iness circles since our last. &. w. Gmgg
has moved into the house formerly occu-
piel by l.. r. Shelton; Hardin d Berry
Druggists, occupy the Gragg stand.
The Legislature has repealed the liquor
act prohibiting it, sale in two miles Of
the corporation limits. We have two
licensed groceries now, paying the town
one hundred and fifty dollars each per
annum.
We are informed thai Shelby Oats is
candidate for Assessor. Mr.. Oats is a
clever gentleman and would I'LL the Office
well
DIR. Grady, Of Columbia, Ky, will
probably locate here to practice medicine.
lie was talking of migrating to Texas,
but has changed his notion. We wei
come the Doctor TO his new field.
Mr.. Charles Duncan has just arrived
from the Sunny South" having been
absent four months. Ii is unnecessary
to state that Mr.. Duncan made no money
ON his mules Pearson Miller, all redo
lent with craftsmanship, and lost in pa
triotlc abstraction, has so far forgotten
his other duties as to 60 to keeping bach
elors hail. We hope after trying it
awhile he may make the necessary
change. Nous rcrrons, We may also
add that Mr.. Miller has gone into the
Irish potato business extensively.
Calvin Barrier, who has gained an en-
viable reputation on Sinking" and else
where. for school teaching, is now en-
gagged to teach a school at No. /. We
are satisfied Mr.. Barrier will exalt the
educational tone of that locality.
Joseph ii. Denham, of Barren coun-
~, was married TO Miss Amanda Bartle-
son, of our county, on Wednesday, the
llth inst They have our congratula-
tions and benediction that, they may live
long and prosper.
Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel Duncan are
happy in the addition to their small
family, of daughter.
Monticello is to have a pump.
AT'TlCUS.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20
Ncwspavpcr Laws.

We wsuh call the special attention of postmss'ers
and Subscribers 10 the following sysop.s Of the news
paper laws
A postmaster IL requrcd to Give noticc by letter
fretafnlng paper dncs not answer the lavl when q
snriher Dies no, take his paper out ~ the Office and
state tho rca-,as fr IT. not being taken and neglect
ta do - makes the postmaster rPnnsi'ae 20 the pub
Usher for the payment,
Any pcrs,n Who takes paper from the posinfhce,
shother dlrectei ~ his smother whether he
kss subscribed az not, I. responsible for the pay.
N person orders his paper Discontinued. he must
pay all arrcaragss the publisher may continue 10
hend n until the pay ment + made.
n the sal~crtrr orders hts paper W 10 stepped Al
certain time and the pahlisher contiHu- to send the
sa~cribrr !. hound 10 pay fr itf he iskes u pn the
pn-iofhce. The law pruccels upon The ground that q
man must pay fs what he
The eearts have de,ided thai refusing 10 tate
ne~rpspsrs and per~licals from the rostcfce, ~
moving aud leaving them uncalled for u prima fseia
evidence u iatentiousl maud
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-03-20

Mr.. Beck is the busiest man in Con.
gress. He has been exposing the frauds
of the administration by means of which
the public revenue is sacrificed to reward
spoilsmen and jobbers, this week, and
among other things has shown that the
appropriations for the current year are
thirty millions more than last.