Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-08-28
Scottish Anecdotes.

\NcOJ ANte/DFtSe.
Scottish Anecdotes.
Ina very entertaining work, enti
tiled "Reminiscences Of Scottish Life
and Character" from the pen of Dean
Ramsay, we find the following hum
orous illustrations:
''Somc years ago, when it was no,
an uncommon thing, even in Scot
land, for challenges to be given anc
accepted for insults, or supposed in
suits, an English gentlman was enter
tanning party at Inverness with an
account of the wonders he had seer
and the deeds he had performed il
India, from whence he had lately ar
rived. He enlarged particularly up
on the size of the tigers he had me,
with at different times in his travels
and by way of corroborating his state
ment, assured the company that he
had shot one himself considerably
above forty feet long. A Scottish
gentleman present, who thought these
narratives rather exceeded travel
er's allowed privileges, coolly said
that no doubt those were very re.
markablc tigers; but he could assure
the gentleman there were in the
northern part of that country some
won lerfll animals, and as an exam
pie he cited the existence of a skate
fish captured off Thurso, exceeding
halfan acre in extent. The En-
glishman saw this was intended as a
sarcasm against his own story; so he
left the room in Indignation, and sent
his friend to demand satisfaction or
an apology from the gentleman who
had, he thought, insulted him. The
narrator of the skate story coolly re.
piled, 'Wecl, sir, gin yer trecnd will
tax few feet aft the length o his
tiger, We'll see what can be dune
about the breadth o the skate >"
''The parishioners of clergyman
in Scotland, in expressing to him
their aversion to the use of manu-
script sermons, urged: 'What gars we
tax up your bit papers to the pu'pit?'
He replied that it was best, for really
he could not remember his sermon,
and must have his paper. 'Wecl,
weel, minister, then dinna expect that
zee can remember them.'"
"A late Duke of Athol had invit-
ed well known character, a writer OF
Perth, to come up and meet him at
Dunkeld for the transaction of some
business. The Duke mentioned the
day and hour when he should receive
the man of law, who accordingly
came punctually at the appointed
time and place. But the Duke had
forgotten the appointment, and gone
to the hill, from which he could no,
return for some hours. A Highland
er present described the Perth
writer's Indignation, and his mode OF
showing it by most elaborate course
Of swearing. But whom did he
swear at" 'Oh, he dinna swecr at ony
one thing particular, but juist stude
in ta middle of ta road and swoor at
large"
"A Scotch lad came to his clergy
man for examination previous to his
receiving his first communion. The
pastor knowing he was not very pro-
found in his theology, and not wish.
ing to discourage him, took the Old
Testament, and asked him, in refer
ence to the Mosaic law, how many
commandments there were. After a
little thought, he put his answer in
in the modest form of supposition
and replied, cautiously, 'Aiblins* a
hummer The clergyman. was vcx
ed and told him that such Ignorance
was intolerable, that he could not
proceed in examination, and that the
youth must wait and learn more; Sc
he went away. On returning home
he met friend on his way to the
mansc, and on learning that he too
was going to the minister's for exam
nation, shrcwdly asked him, 'Wecl
what will ye say moo if the minister
speers hoo mony commandments
there are?' Say, why I shall say
ten to be sure TO which the other
rejoined, with great triumph, Ten!
Try ye him wi ten! | tried him wi a
hummer, and he wasna satisfied
"The old generation of Galloway
lairds were primitive and hospit,
BILE race, but their conciyi0tity some
times led to awkward occurrences
In former days, when roads were
bad, and wheeled vehicles almost un
known, an old laird was returning
from supper party, with his lady
mounted behind him on horseback
On crossing the river Urr, at ford
at point where it joins the sea, the
old lady dropped off, but was not
missed till her husband reached hi.
door, when, of course, there was al
Immediate search made. The party
who were despatched in quest Of he'
arrived just in time to find her re-
mOnStcatllS WIN Tile advancing liuc
which trickled into her mouth, in
these words. NO anither drap; Meth
er het nor cauld.'
''It seems that certain country
girl in Scotland thought it quite pos
sible that there might be an excess
in scrupulous regard to appearances
On her marrage-day the youth tC
whom she was about to be unitet
said to her, in triumphant tone
'Weel, Jenny, haven't l been unc.
ceevil,' al!uding to the fact that dur
ing their whole courtship he had new
cr even given her kiss. Her quic
reply was, 'Ou, ay, man; senselcssl,
ceevil.'" :"
"a late well-known member of tn,
Scottish bar, whena youth, was some
what of dandy, and, l suppose
somewhat short and sharp IN his ten
per. He was going to pay visit il
the country, and was. making grea
fuss about preparing and putting u
his habilimcnts, His old aunt wa