Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-09-04

assumption, that, wanting In gumption,
O'Iandy the dandy, whose hair wasn't
sandy, really thought there was sport in these
weeks Of counting.
BY the old folks outwitted Sal mcekly sub |
mittet, aud to quell MI discussions received
his attentions; but she slyly would banter,
O'Handy the dandy about Peter the planter,
hor knightly enchanter who rode at cantcr
and was no vain vuunter. She had read
him all through, this O'Handy tho dandy,
and she readily knew, though his hair wasn't
sandy, he was brim full Of lying, and oven
then trying some vilainous game for her
ruin or shame.
Well, one day AFTER dinner us Sal sat n
stitching in the old-lashioued kitchen, this
ludicrous sinner who thought he could win
herr this O'Ilandy the dandy, whose hair
wasn't sandy, he knelt at her feet and he
tried to be sweet, and began 10 entrcat.
while his great bosom beat with unmercif
heat aud he told her tale that he thought
could not fail to make her believe he could
never deceive.
While thus interccdng with passionate
pleading, he thought by her smiling his
words were beguiling; but Inc found the con-
clusIon helpless deluson, for Sal was UNI
linking his scheming, was thinking; and she
thought in twinkliug she'd give him -
sprinkling of the we'll seasoned ointment we
trm disappointment"
SO ere he had done, she broke in and be-
gun:
That will do, Count O1landyl don't
wish to handy or barter u Count with an
endless amount of retainers and riches.
King of Wizards and witches! Count Selim
Ollandy, how great is your fame, how hon
Orod your namel From the city you came
with your heart all allame, and you thought
in the shade Of mountain or glade to WOO n
lair maid by pomp or parade. Now save all
your tears, your hopes and your fears, your
ducks and your dears for some other
ears. All the girls are agreed you're stylish
indeed. But your figures too lean, you're
too giunt and too green, and that is not all,
to my mind you re too tall; and It's certain
us fate you and cannot mate. Now my
answer you know, there's the door, you may
CO."
Now O'Handy the dandy, whose hair
wasn't sandy, was struck up Mt this sharp
reply of the miss. But still the poor sinner
was sure he could win her by management
clever and keep her forever, and be II sup
planter of Peter the planter. SAILS knightIy
cnchanter who rode ut canter, and be II
partaker in many an acre of her old sire's
estate, which was fertile and great or should
he get hold of her portion in gold, he could
play the deceiver and run of and leave her.
So he fingered TO plead his hard suit in
decd, and he boosted and told OF the titles
and gold in store for the wife of his bosom
and life.
Now O'lIandy the dandy whose hair
wasn't sandy, conceived there is bliss in an
act that's called kissing. So he suddenly
placed his arm round her waist, and attempt
ed to taste of her ripe rosy cheek. But MS
true rs speak, she jumped like II hare and
the kiss in the air went off like gun at II
deer on the run While she seized the
broom hanging in the room, and dealt him
n blow that made the blood flow not grace
fully slow.
Now it CHANGED in the scuflle he tore her
best ruills, and lis not fable that he upset
the table. and many e platter went down
with n CHATTER, and OH the floor oakcn lay
shattered and broken.
what in sin is the natter?" growlcd her
gray headed sire, called the square or the
" squire;n for he sat in the yard on Il log
rough and Scared There he sat meath the
trees in the cool summer breeze, in his old
striped frock, reckoning up his live stock;
when, hearing the fall of the platter and all,
with u laundering din, he arose TO go in.
Towards the front door he strobe while
his stern visagc showed he was not in the
mood to he softened or sued. Now O'Ilandy
the dandy, whose hair wasn't sandy, he be-
held the disaster, the crockery broken upon
the floor oaken, and he knew that the master
called the square or the squire woul d
surely take fire; and then came the thought,
through his brain II crashing. that if he got
caught he would catch II thrashing. In haste
to escape so lucklcs1 II scrape, towards this
back door he run rs if shot from gun
; Now out at that door, down three feet or
more, stood II huge tub of soap, you'll not
doubt it | hope,) while Peter the planter
stood near by to banter his good neighb0r
Mier on the price OF u steer; when out dash
cd O'Ilandy the citilied dandy, and whether
lac tripped or staggered or slipped, while
raising his hat, or something like, never
will state; but the truth I'll relate for GER
tain MS fate, plump into that tub clear over
the hub, went OIIandy tie dandy, whose
hair wasn't sandy, and he sunk with surprise
clear up to his eyes.
Now such II great shock caused the soap
tub to rock, and over it went and O'llandy
was sent right out on the ground, sprawled
out like II hound, all covered with soap, and
all ready to slope.
From Peter tho planter, SAILS mountain
enchanter who rode nj II canter, and stood
: there to banter; from his good neghbor Mier,
who was selling his steer; from the girls
spinning yarn, and the boys in the barn
and from Sal and her sire. who were gust
drawing higher, such u shout followed this
) most astounding exploit, that it might have
been heard half the way to Detroit; while
with looks of distress That no words can ex.
press O'Handy the dandy, whose hair wasn't
sandy, he sprang to his feet and considered
; it sweet, and exceedingly meet to beat n re-
treat to cover defeat; and he fled from the
place in shame and disgrace, disappeared
: DER the green and was never more seen.
Then Peter the planter SAILS accepted ell.
chanler, not stopping to banter sprang on
Whirlwnd astraddle, took Sal without sad
) die. and rode of at II canter. Past fields I'M
J, der tlllage they sped to the village, where,
u in his rude shanty, humble and scanty, they
}, found the priest waiting, who nothing de-
batting, straightway united the pair that were
pightcd. On horseback they were welded,
! she barearmed and bareheaded, TO Peter tho
!, planter, her knightly enchanter, who rode
Mt q canter.
:, FRAUD AS A TRADE.