, 1874-04-08

cd upon him In tho limit OF hfs
own halr-thoy cut 1t OF to aavo trouble will
Il.oir congregations and to prevent scl!am IN
rov Ill., odrcn, KY III iure1t applause and nngliter
aeio they woro wlse in their generation. 4 min
ontircly bald. '@'''@
ANOTHER GREAT DRAWBACK
qnotod. IT. from Scripture to show Tits but this
was nothing ut a1l to rlgidly Btrniuht hair.
by wny Of easy transition, hIr. Mccarthy pro-
Geoaod e9' to npoak on the general subject Of tault
ceiving lcttora Of that nature from members OF Of
tue congregation. Ono lady protested that Ills
brother complained that Ills voico w was
IT, iN0 eonsudur sSa o ana oaqs Hsssa s h% to elevate
OF gtorioua resurrection; = ANOTHER porson
wanted = revival tn the church still another
protested agalnat 80 unsoonly an exhibition.
Mra nans s,nrP s5b sent , him hackmang letter
rosllrc: And go On slnost nj in1nitum..
AnotAor hroat source Of complaint mas
PASTORAL v1sITAT1oNa.
II tho pnstor stopped minute longer at the
a o G' GnG n OF h than
sure + ha kissed tho children Of ono Of his
Aook with shadow Of Affection moro nr1eut
than those Of another, no WAS Liable to mBcon-
s.rnotton. ,1 But tho erowning misery was tami-
members out Of Ion hated prayers on a secular
day, becanso Of family distractions, which tho
speaker proceeded to describe III a most luli-
crous fashion. Tho question 1sas,
TO PRAY, OF For TO rnAy,
III. II 10 prayed, he matlo the housewife angry and
bred confusion 10 the family; II he did moi prar
TINT sanle excolcnt wonlan would holl Ills want
OF religious fervenoy all though tho poighbor-
hood, and thus was he nlways on the horns Of o
dileulma,
lie had no doubt TINT son,a Of bin audience
capa there in expectation OF his Bnying 80.
SOMETHING ABOUT DEAcoNB,
and they should not be disappointed. neacona
were tho most prosslnptuoIs persons In the
world. Apeacon knew moro gbout salvation,
after waok'a experience IN tAo'ofica, than tho
pastor OF bis church, who lad given years to tho
characters in tho "Midsummer Nights Drearn )"
He had neror henrd Of tho nursca In an
hospital diosato to the doctors tho ! kind
Of medicine they woro to give the patients lo
had mover known OF DaillJs in q courtroom
debating to tho Judge on the bonch the form of
MS decision; be had never road Of the Corpo1ala
Of IN army getting together and suggesting to
but q Uhurch-Dcacon can be hardly warm
In Ills seal before he rllHhes breathoss to tho pas-
tor and hurla at him this proligious and CHASTITY
sonteuoo: "sir! you had better resign-res,gn
ut onool" No Deacon could consider himself In
good standing until he had performed this aolemn
mud heroic duty. Laughter aud cheeral
LIKE FEDERAL orrIoEuoEDEns
Deacons mover resigned aud seldom died
[shouts of laugttor.1 Another thing abont
theae DeRcons WAS, that every ono OF them who
her ha marridd to the pastor. (hloro laughtor.
Tho great trouble VIVA that said daughter wna
rarely eligible. Worse than that, sho WAS gon-
orally feet long, had asthma, falao teoth aud
70 70 poan an! enGo sho Was 1G, Now. there was
education, not even wealthy, md ho had d
daughter: sho was built like her father, weighed
180, had Harta on hor han1s, false teeth, and was
generally repulaiyq. sho was called Maggie,
peeauso e9. @ hor nnmo vas Margaret. [Laughter.l
story. Wherein tho Deacon was made to of1or In
marriage to the pastor, called AIr. Brightly, who
waa a. l9ye with beautiful blonde 500 miles
away, "hs scrub Of 4 daughter" He did not
upon tho pastor that ho was Going
to bo married to this awful woman
a{galnst a{g ' nia instinets and hia will SO ho advised
nrecona 1e oa m i big charming dangh.e, vas 80
appiR11so.1 But tile noacon took caro to have
teyanago for, tho slight. He took occasion to
"lnainuato" charges against the pastor
Of "damna6lo horesy," 'ooscenity, aud other
East to marry Blanche,"-of whom very
beautiful picture was drawn,-the DoaGons wore
called together, tho paHtor was arraigned on
" charges" Lis resignation was handed in, tho
enEagoment with tho beautiful blonde was
followed o temporary reconciliation until other
CAUSES Of trouble, from other DoaconB, nroeo.
The speaker then entorcd into IN genealogical
consideration Of the word ''Deacon." He
nhraao Ego to tho dicItens" waa .'go to tic
Doaconam :lLaughter.1 No peraon could rond
the word !" "diaconal II without thinking Of "dia-
bolical." But the Greck Of tho word WIGS moro
,sss a 1T r ds tat aagnsg9 poason
2 psipa6lo corruption. EGxoat applause aud
Of tho kind, but lacked the time. He stood be-
hind The bur1y figure Of the famous h1r. Spur
goen, VINO had put forward tho following apflor-
ism: III you resist tho devil ho will fly from
yon; II you 1sBist q Deacon he will fly at your
Ao would Htate 1t as . positive fact that In
nineteen out of twenty casos the pastor Has de-
posed, not 90 much for failure as for SUCCESS.
Aster revival very often camo removal
HAPPY MOMENTS.
:: ono Of the happiost rnoments-in fact tho only
happy uoment-iu tho life Of an average Baptist
minister waa whom le waB called upon to 70 to q
Council and try a blother. There waa never any
n lear OF Council being unattended. No. 4
heart, forgot to collect marriago-foo, or tail
to attend tho funeral OF his very worst
and toughost Deacon, rather than fail to sit In
Council and say Of his accused brother: ''H lae
=" NAA SUE ~ L. AB lib guilty. IoE Dh
cast him into outor darkness, whore there ia
weop.ng and gnaslling OF toeth." tsensat.on.1
McAnTnY IN COMEDY,
at this polut Of his discourse, Mr. Mccarthy
showed his capabilities as =. comedian hy bur-
!e'sautng Baptist Council and readipg suppo-
sitional charges iu blank. One Of tGese was |
where brother had asked him whether ho would |
like to marry prctty wonnn, and where l1e Ind |
"Yoa'd bettor behcyo would" |
[Anpla1tse ;n and laughter.]
Tho rest Of the Council proceedings voro
IN q very lively manner, md tho !
speaker succeeded in winning the good feeling /
of hs audience, even though tiuge Of irreyor-
1nco ran though hla REMARKS, hIr. MCCARTHY is
rory happy In BITS mode Of delivery, and as a
octuror, iB uudenlably amusing.
Ho concluded luis discourse With reference to
Il the sacred dignity OF the ministry which
,onnaod rather strangely nfter his running fire
# sarcastio Wit. Ho saf down amid a HURRICANE
IT ohoers, aud bowed his Acknowledgements in /
na1nor that showed shat he felt hilnsof to ba q
low star III the American lecturo-hcld
ILLINOIS COLLEGE ASSOCIATION.