The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1874-05-30

Yes, the papers says so; and there's
more than dozen women that's put their
names to it, and most swore that it made
| them all over new ag'in!''
"Maybe they never did swear that"
80. yes, they must. The doctor that
makes it come from the college in Lon
non; and of course he wouldn't lie; and
sue him for breach o. promise-no, for
SANDER, or some such crime"
g Maybe there are no such women in the
world as those he names.'
ssThat can't be, for he gives street and
number in Liverpool and London
Probably there are no such streets or
numbers there
"Massv! How unbelievin' you be!
You're just like him. This morning
asked him for five dellars to get half-a-
dozen bottles of 'Thompson's Bitters
(you get bottle thrown in SOY, and he
wouldn't give it to me. [ knew he had
fifteen dollars in his pocket then.
"You promised, John,' said l, to love,
cherish and obey me-
'ss didn't says he.
sss You did p says I.
"' Not bit of it, says he.
You promised to provide for me-
says /:
sssThen provide medicine, says l.
"sNo, 1 WON'T says he.
''s Why not?' says [.
g Because never promised to provide
ropes, nor razors, nor pills for you to kill
yourself WITH says he.
when he said the word pills L
thought shouLd die! For, don't you be-
lieve, the night afore | set box on 'em by
my bed, as | was takin' course; and
nod ha6 mt 70
medicate plums that use to soothe my
throat; and bein' half asleep, / emptied
them pills into my mouth and chawed 'em
mp afore [ knew what they was! 1t seems
| as if 1 taste 'em now.
"' Eh y | screamed; and he thought
| I'd swallowed a bottle of hot drops but
| when he see what it was, he laughed
enough to kill himself, and says, l hope
this'll be the end o. your takin' medicine
by night!' Well, them pills run me nigh
down to the borders of the grave; and
needed Tine. o. Tal..' as | call the Tine
ture of Immortality" to keep me up. And
he wouldn't buy it for me-"
II don't know as blame him." said l.
"Why, how hard-hearted some women
is !" sighed the medicine-eater They
say there's a man that gives 'leetral pills
| up to Boston, and that, after you've taken
'em two weeks, if you go into dark
room. you look like fire woman. And
| this fire that the pills kindles inside of
| you burns up all your diseases, and leaves
only the pure parts that can't hold ne
| disease.
"They do say you can read by the light
of one that takes 'em regular! If | could
only get money enough to go up to Bos-
ton and buy a gross o. boxes, L feel as if it
would add years and years to my life, so't
| could bring up my own children, place o.
leavln' 'em to a step-another. .
just at this juncture a pleasant, rosy
checked man in middle life appeared at the
open window, and asked if Mrs. Watkins
were there.
81 bel" responded the lady, in sepul-
chral tones; and with touch of irony she
added. ''Can / do anything for yom, Mr..
| Watkins?''
"Come, come along home, mother ~
said the good-natured man, smiling and
winking at us. "There's somebody at
our house you'll be glad to see.''
Massey, there isn't pie in the house
Who is it?''
well, it's new patent medicine ped
dler in red wagon, with gold eagle and
phoenix rising out of somebody's ashes
on it. He says the storekeepers for ten
miles round sent him here, and told him if
/ ne could gel your custom ned Dc mate,
and could live on that alone!
s"Come; when l heard you had gone to
sell your plants, | thought you'd be selling
the children next; so l was just starting
down street to give you the money you
/ wanted, when this fellow came flaming
along. Come, now, and buy, and take all
you want; though we've got an old brick
oven now full of eod-liver oil and other
| stuff that's gone out of fashion at oul
| house ~
" Has this man got 'lectric pills, father p
asked the infatuated woman. 1.-the paper
says the queen took them, and they burnt
up all her complaints. !"