The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1874-01-23

a Troy udnclilH party i 10 lntlHut
deacon from each of the churches in the
city. They think that nobody Will dc
wrong in such company, and that dancing
will be immensely elevated in tone.
Said professor 10 notorious lag
gard. who was once, for a wonder
promptly in his place AT morning prayers
At the appointed time. II have marked
you sir. as punctual. this morning. What
Is your excuse?n ''S-s-sick, sir, and
couldn't sleep was the reply.
An inquiring sort of man has been
looking into the buildingof the new water
tunnel in Chicago. He found at each OF
the three shafts five city inspectors super
intending the work of seven workmen.
The fifteen inspectors were drawing an
aggregate Of $50 day. aud the work
men 81.
DR.. Holland claims 10 speak by the
card = when he afirms that he ''does not
eXaggerate at all when he says that the
American restaurant is the worSt-manner-
ca place ever visited by decent people.
No decent American ever goes into one
when he can help it. and comparatively
few decent people know how very indie
cent il Is"
A country pedagogue requested all OF
his scholars to write piece under
penalty of thrashing. A rising genius
got off the following:
Lord Of Love,
Look down from above
ON "a poor scholars;
We have hired "A fool
To teach our school,
And pay him hftv dollars"
The theaters and the churches in Gal
weston are fighting each other. On
Christmas day the churches gave their
Sunday-school children presents, and the
thcatcrs did the same for every child patron
at the matinee. Ii was nice arrangement
for the children. because the Sunday
schools were out just in time for them to
get around to the matinee.
Every schoolbsy knows that a kite
would not fly unless it had string tying
it down. Ii j. Just 50 i'm life. The man
who j. tied down by halfa dozen respon-
sibilities and their mother. will make a
higher and stronger flight than the bach
elor. who. having nothing to keep him
steady. is always Laundering in the mud.
Ii you want to ascend in the world tie
yourself to somebody.
"A Seneca Falls man, returning home
at late hour one evening, saw standing
in his front yard what appeared to be- a
spirit i'm the habiliments of the tomb. De
termined not To be cowardly, he seized a
broken plank from the sidewalk. giving
the tall white figure three minutes to get
down and explain: but rs the figure did
not explain. he flung the plank, upset
ting and smashing the ghost, which proved
to be- "A beautiful summer plant that his
wife had covered with a sheet 10 protect It
from the frost.
Some one has sent to the atlantic
Monthly the following expose Lightly
She lifts the large, pure, luminous shell,
and pOises il ia her strong, shapcly hand.
Listcnr she says it has a tale 60 tell.
spoken in a language you may under
stand Smiling. She holds il TO my dream
ing ear: the old. delicious murmnr Of the
sea steals like enchantment through me.
andI hear voices like the echoes ofeterniiy.
Let her poise. She may also lit the con-
voluted univalye in strong and shapely
hand and her biceps may swell out like a
muskmelon. But the antique swindle
touching the odd delicious murmur Of the
sea is a numbug. For, reader, you will
hold beaver hat, or a goblet, or pickle
bottle, to your car, you will hear The same
delicious murnur."