The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1874-02-19

pulpit, and they felt almost sure tina,
they could count on his apostolic APP
proval in their laudable enterprise o
disturbing a Methodist meeting.
The preacher whom they heard
was of the toughest type. His
speech was full of diatectic forms and
ungrammatical phrases. His illustra.
tions were exceedingly uncouth. II
by no means followed that he was
not an effective preacher. All these
defects were rather to his advantage
the backwoods rhetoric was suited
to move the backwoods audience.
But the party from the tavern were
in no mood to be moved by anything.
They came for amusement, and set
themselves diligently to seek it.
Morton was ambitious to lead among
his new friends, as he did at home.
and on this occasion he made use of
his rarest gift. The preacher, Mr..
Mellen. was just getting "warmed
up with his theme; he was begin
ming to sling his rude metaphors to
the right and left, and the audience
was fast coming under his influence,
when Morton Goodwin, who had cul-
tivated a ven,riloquial gift for the
diversion Of country parties, and the
disturbance Of Mr.. Brady's school,
now began to squeak like rat in a
trap, looking all the while straight at
the preacher, as if profoundly inter-
ested in the discourse. The women
were startled and the grave brethren
turned their austere faces round to
look stern reproofs at the young men.
In moment the squeaking ceased,
and there began the shrill yelping Of
a little dog, which seemed to be on
the women's side of the room. Broth
er Mellen, the preacher, paused, and
was about to request that the dog
should be removed, when he began
to suspect from the sensation among
the young men that the disturbance
was from them.
.You needn't be afeard, sisters"
he said, puppies will bark, even
when they walk on two legs instid of
four"
This rude joke produced laugh,
but gained no permanent advantage
to the preacher, for Morton, being a
stranger, did not care for the good
opinion Of the audience, but for the
applause of the young revelers with
whom he had come. He kept silence
now, until the preacher again ap-
preached climax, swinging his
stalwart arms and raising his voice
to tremendous pitch in the cndeav-
or to make the day Of doom seem
sufficiently terrible to his hearers.
AT last, when he got to the terror of
the wicked, he cried out dramatical-
lv. "What are these awful sounds |
hear" At this point he made a
pause. which would have been very
effective, had it not been for young
Goodwin.
Cav. cav. caw-aw eah.' he said,
mimicking crow.
"Young man. roared the preacher,
ssyou are hair-hung and breeze-sha-
ken over that pit that has no bot
tom"
"Gh, golly." piped the voice OF
Morton, seeming to come from no.
where in particular. Mr.. Mellen now
ceased preaching, aud started toward
the part Of the room in which the
young men sat, evidently intending
to deal out summary justice to some
one. He was man of immense
strength, and his face indicated that
he meant to eject the whole party.
But they all left in haste except
Morton, who staid and met the
preachers gaze with look Of Offend
ed innocence. Mr.. Mellen was per-
picked. A disembodied voice wan
dering about the room would have
been too much for Hercules himself.
When the baiiled orator turned back
to preach again, Morton squeaked in
an aggrayating falsetto, but with a
good imitation of Mr.. Mellen's in
Elections, "Hair-hung and breeze
shaken.'
And when the angry preacher
turned fiercely upon him, the scoffer
was already fleeing through the door.