Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-08-27
OUR SUFFRENS WITH AGENTS.
BY JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE.

We done pretty well this year; the
crops came in tirst-rate and then Josiah
had four or five head Of cattle to turn off,
and he proposed | should have a SEWN
machine. Though we don't coo at each
other as much as some do, my pardner,
Josiah, is attached to me with a firm and
almost cast-iron devotedness.
But says l to him:
''Josiah, | had rather Tirzah Ann
would have a organ, because if she's
ever goin' to learn to play now is the
time And have got a couple of SEWN
machines that have run pretty well for
upwards of-Well, it hain't no matter
how many years, but quite a number,
anyway"
But Josiah hung on to that machine,
and Tirzah Ann seemed sot onto her or
gan, and finally Josiah ups and says he,
: will get both on EN-" And TiTZah
and me thought we would let him have
his head in the matter.
So il got out that we was goin' to buy
SEWN machine and organ. Wall, we
made up our minds Friday, pretty late
in the afternoon, and on Monday fore
noon | was a Washin, when | heard a
knock at the front door, and | wrung my
hands out of the water and went and
opened it.
A sick-Iookin' fellow stood there, and
! invited him in and set him chair.
I" / hear you are a-talkin' of buyin' a
musical instrument for your daughter"
says he.
NO" says I, we are goin' to buy a
organ"
Wall, = says he, " / want to advise YOU
not that have any interest in it at all,
only | don't want TO see you imposed on.
1t fairly makes me mad to see a Method
ist imposed upon. | lean toward that
persuasion myself Organs are liable to
fall to pieces any minute There hain't
no dependence on 'em at all; the insdes
Of 'em are liable TO break out any min
ute If you have any regard for your
own welfare and safety, you will buy Il
piano. Not that l have any interest in
advising you, only my stern devotion to
the cause of right Pianos never wear
out"
Where should we go to get one?" says
l. for didn't want Josiah to throw away
his property.
"Wall," says he, cas- it happens guess
have got one cut here in the wagon. l
believe | threw one into the bottom of
the wagon this mornin' as | was a comm
down here on business. I'm glad now
that | did, for it always makes me feel
ugly to see a Methodist imposed on"
Josiah came into the house in a few
minutes and / told him about it; and
says |, Glow lucky it is, Josiah, that
we found out about organs before it was
too late"
But Josiah asked the price and said he
wasn't goin to pay out no 400 dollars, for
he wuzzent able But the man asked if
ne was willin' to have it brought into the
house for a spcll-we could do as we had
a mind to about buyin' it; and, of course,
we couldn't refuse, so Josiah almost
broke his back liftin' it in. And they
sot it up in the parlor and after dinner
the man went away.
/ had lust cot back to my washin' agin
Il had to put it away to get dinner) when
/ heard knockin' again to the front
door, and Ipulled down my dress sleeves,
and went and opened it and there stood
tall, slim Teller, and, the kitchen being
all chartered up, | opened the parlor
door and asked him in there And the
minute he ketched sight of that piano
he just lifted up both hands, and says
he,
''You amt got one Of them here?"
He looked so Mortified that it scairt
me, and says /, in almost tremblin
tones,
"What is the matter with 'em?" and
added, in a cheerful tone, eve hain't
bought it,"
He looked more cheerful too as I said
it. and says he, You may be thankful
enough that you hain't There hain't nc
music in em Mt all Hear that" SAYS he
goin' up and strikin' the very top note
1t did sound fiat enough.
Says |, There must be more music
in it than that, though | hain't no judge
ut all"
''Wall, hear that, then" and he went
and struck the very bottom note.
You see just how it is from top tC
bottom. But it hain't its total lack OF
music that makes me despise pianos so
it is because they are SO dangerous"
Dangerous?" saws l.
Yes, In thunder-StOrms, you see,'' says
he, liftin' up the cover. Here it is, al
wire, enough for fifty lightnin' rods
draw the lightnin' right into the room
Awful dangerous. No money would
tempt me TO have one in my house, with
my wife and daughter | shouldn't
sleep a wink thinkin' had exposed EN-
to such danger
Good Heavens" says I, 4 never
thought on it before"
Wall, now YOU have thought of it
You see plainly that an organ is JUS
what you need. They are full of music
safe, healthy, and don't cost half st
much
Says |, An organ was what we hac
set our minds on at first"
"Wall, / have got one out here and
will bring it in"
"What is the price," says l.
'sTwo hundred dollars, says he.
"There won't be no need of bringin' i
n at that price" says |, for l have
heard Josiah say he wouldn't give a cen
over a hundred and fifty dollars for one
wall says the Teller, III tell yot
what III do. Your countenance look:
kinder natural to me, and like the
looks of the country round here so vel
that if your mind is made up on The
price you want to pay won't let trit1'
of fifty dollars part us. You can have
for one hundred and fifty dollars"
Wall the end ont was, he brung it IL
and sot it up in the other end OF the par
lor and drove off, And when JOSIAH
came In from his work and the children
came home from school they liked i
first-rate
But the very next day a new agen
came and he looked skairt when ht
ketched sighs of that organ, and awful
mad and indignant too.