The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-05-09
JOHNS SHOTS ON TIE FLY.
Interesting Dialogues with Old
CalifOrniai1s..

LONG HAIRED PHlLOSOPHER-
ACQUISITION OF REPUTATION,
CUNNING IN THE OLD
STYLE.
On tho Wing, March, 1871
When spasm OF the soul witches
the thought, through the mind, that
a man can leave New York in the
morning and get to San Francisco
at night, the mind boils with won
der and stews with -amazement ut
the thought Of it, until you "scer-
tain that you don't get there the
same night, but some other night.
The Shortest route from Brooklyn
to San Franciscois via Fulton fer
~, up Fulton street to Broadway,
up Broadway to Forty-Sccond
Street, down Forty second street to
Fourth avenue, turn to the left, and
keep going until You get there. TO
save expense, would advise start
ing between $50 aud 1880 "A. M. or
7. NJ, rs the f:lro On the ferry is
then fifty per cent. less than at any
other time. Space isn't quite ami
Inflated yet, as [ know II man who
recently applied for thirty days
space on a bill Of goods and got it.
People coming to California can
wear their regular clothes. A few
years ago you required cylinder
stove for an evercoat,. and had to
keep the door shut or he heard with
shot holes until you rescmbled the
outside skin of II nutmeg CRATER,
One meets with genus homos in
California that appear to be stewed
down in funnyness, both kinds OF
sauce. / converscd with some OF
'em. l was on the cars, there was
y fellow in. the next seat, he hadn't
had Iris hair cut since the col0 sum
mer of 1916. He looked like Il
phrenologist that had been cXamin-
ing the head Of a wlliskey barrel,
aud he had either been taking
drawings from it, or else he'd eaten
a pretty big piece Of mince pie, with
an awful quantity Of brandy in it.
l introduced myself.
CURIOUS QUERIES.
SAYS /: ''What's the difference
between u dead man and q corpse p
Says he: 'rhcrc amt none.n Cd
Says l, "Therc amt, hey : Sup
posing the corpse is q boy?" ~
Says he, "That's So"
He had ring on his finger, and,
Says l, "Stranger, that's nice
ring"
Says he, eyes that's an engage
mcnt ring"
Says i, ''No. Were you in the
Says-he, No, sir. Why?" @
Says l, ~ was in an engagement
once" q
Says he, ."No; did she have you ?"
Says l, mo-. sir, she didn't, but
he came darncd near having me-"
Says lie, elbow was fiat 2" o
Says 1, "My engagement was be
fore kichmoHd." o
Says he, ooh, oh, VS.. l refer
red to d different kind of engage
mcnt. l got this ring when a
Then said "Oh, yes" to HING and
we got to knowing each other us
we'll as though we'd been Graded
and thrashed together in infancy,
eaten spare ribs of" the same car
pet lacks, or partaken Of tcnderloin
steaks Off the same bent pins, when
We knew moro about birch rods
than stair rods. He turned out to
be a philosopher with a pocket com
pass travelling to the windward for
bis health. lilo remarked, "W.hat
4 lot Of gruntcrs there are i'll this
world" o %
observed, eyes, sir; especially
Cincinnati.'
He remarked, "No, I don't mean
hogs, 1 mean people"
observed, con, YES, you mean
people afflicted with not being sat
istied with their condition in life,
and all the time grumbling because
they weren't borne some Qbher fel-
low o
He remarked, Exactly; the good
book says. Cast thy bread upon
the waters, for tl,on shall find it at
} ter many days." W
observed, III should think it
would get wet and taste doughy,"
RLNI.iHKABLE OBSERVATIONS.
3 Right here we changed our tao
tics; instead of remarking, he OBJ
served; and |, instead ofobservins
commenced to remark. -
, He observed, "The majolety of
people are just mean enough to
spend their lives -chucking little
i,,,nl,. nf bread overheard So small