The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-07-04
VARIETY.

The NEXT DENASD.-ApFOpOs of the movement
reduce the regular time Of labor to SIX hours q
ay, the Pittsburgh Commercial says that the
ext demand Will probably be that one hour shall
onstitute legal days wOrk-and that that shall
e taken for dinner.
\ CoNTENTED WFR.-A nice young man in
)es MOInes got married not long ago. He had
FOrked biz way to the bottom Of the drawer, and
,ot reduced to the last clean shirt. He thereupOn
Dt up earlier than usual one morning, and kindled
FIRE. When hanging on the kettle he made a
loise on purpose to arouse his wife. She imme-
lately peeped over the blankets, and exclaimed,
NV dear, what are yOu dOingP' He deliber-
tey responded % I've put on my last clean
hirt, and I'm going to wash one for myself" {"
Very we'll, replied she, you had better wash
ue for me, too -
FAILED N THEIR OBlECT.-A good Joke is told
{ Horne Tooke, whom the Torres in the House
{ Commons thought 70 crush by imposing upon
im the humilIating task Of begging the Houses
ardOn on his knees. TOOkc went on his knees,
egged pardon for the offensive expression he had
ID but, on rising up, he knocked the dust of
~ knees and exclaimed, loud enough to be heard
y the whole House: 50 It's dirty House, after
r." RSars Of laughter followed this exclama-
ion, and the Tories saw clearly enough that they
ad failed IN the object which they had in view.
Ancient INsCRrPTs5S.-A hCartless joke was
iayed the other day on an enthusiastic band Of
rcheOlOgists, who were exploring the quaint old
own Of Binbury, EnglaDd, IN search OF antique
ire The fsll0EiBg was sent 70 the Secretary as
inscription eUpied from the cornerstone Of an
ID structure lately pulled down.
sEOCEH sKEvE EKEH wCIsUNE VAIL,
L4H SEHs ~ OTREH Nos LLEBDSAs
REGNI FREH nos GNIREs EOHYER
CASOED IRYD ALE NIFAE EsOTs sORCY
RUB SABOT Is ROHS co CAED IK.
After the learned heads Of the SGrGHts had been
a So 81. - "a
ne expedient Of reading the learned inscription
lckward.
He was young. he was fair, and he parted his
air, like the average beau, III the middle: be
fas proud, he was bold, but the truth must be
DID, he played like Il fend on the fiddle But
side from this vice ne was everything nice, and
is heart was 90 loving and tender, that he always
Irued pale when he trOd on the tail OF the cat
;ing down by the fender. He clerked in the
.ore, and the way that he tore of calico, jeans,
nd brown-shceting, would have tickled a calf
nd made the brute laugh IN the face Of a
uarterly meeting. He cut quite dash with a
arling mustachc, which he learned to adore and
D cherish for one girl had said while she dropped
er proud head, that twOuld kill her 70 see the
.ling perish On Sunday he'd search the straight
iJsd u church, unheeding the voice of the scOrner
nd demurely he sat, like a young tabby cat,
18th the saints IN the far amen corner. lie sang
ke a bird, and his sweet voice was heard fairly
Igging away at long metre; and we speak tut
IL truth when We say that this youth could out
ng hungry mOsquIter.
She was young, she was far. and she scrambled
er hair like the average belle Of the city, she
proud, but not bold, yet the truth must be
Id that the way she chewed wax was pity.
iut aside from this vice she was everything Lice
nd the world much applauded her hustle: and
ae FAYETTEVILLE boys, being charmed by the morse
alked miles Just to hear the thing rustic She
It quite :. swell, did this wax-chewing belle,
I'D the men fOcked in armies to meet her; but
he gaze them the shirk for she loved the young
Jerk who sang like hungry mOsquiter. She
g. lmed and she hawed, and she sighed and she
vel until her heart and jaws were both
ken then she walked by his store, while he
od at the door awaiting some amative token:
I, raised up her eyes with pretty surprise and
i 10 enact the proud seorner; but to tell the
in truth she just grinned ct the youth who
ed the deFOut amen eoTner.-4Nashr1Ae paper