Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1874-03-07
Touching but True.

Everyone comedies the trials and tribu-
lations of school-teacher's life to be nu-
merous and excruciating; but all yeXat-
ions from noisy boys and mischievous girls
sink into insignificance beside that per-
liminary and not-to-bE-evaded torture of
the County Examiners Meeting.
Now that have safely passed the ordeal
and have the necessary document safely
deposited in the corner of my bureau
drawer, Pm going to tell just what think
OF that conclave. 1t will be balm to my
eXasperated feelings, and 1 suppose the
examiners can't take away my certificate
now, say what l will.
Ii on some bright Saturday morning in
passing down Main street, you meet three
affable looking gentlemen, who seem at
peace with themselves and all mankind,
who bow blandiy in all directions and
carry themselves with certain airy light
ness and jocularity, you may recognize by
these same signs our County Examiners.
Outwardly there is serenety, but all the
time they are rolling, as sweet morsals
under their tongues, those stunning ques-
tions with which they expect to confront
the trembling class of applicants assem-
bled not very far away.
Pm somewhat acquainted with these
gentlemen, and, in the common walks OF
| 1l4O, IuSy dIS dSlttdUl6 anu ut6Hu6T-u6dTGcu
enough, but somehow they seem to 6 shuf-
fie off their mortal coir' at the door of the
examination room, and Immediately loom
up, clothed with an awful dignity. Did
you ever see frightened flock of innocent
sheep assailed by freocious dogs, or a
roost full of chickens insidiously approach
ed by weasel? These are, to every SYM
thetic mind, distressing sights, but they
have their parallel in human affairs, where
it is needless for me to state, as 1 desire
to avoid all personalities.
Do l draw the picture too strongly !?
These miserable and dOwn-trodden ap-
plicants have studied the arithmetic
through from beginning to end. They have
| they can say it backward little better
tn an in any other way. They have Learn
ed to enumerate clear up into the impos-
sibles with their eyes shut tight; they have
have wrestled nightly with exchange and
curriencies and have prevailed. Geogra-
ply, too. is spread out before their mental
vision with the clearness of crystal. They
can tell tine exact area of Madagascar,
| and the population according to the latest
census. The boundaries of the German
states are mere pas time, and they fairly
revel in the nomenclature of the Sand
wich Islands. AS to the grammar, they
| have parsed Milton's Paradise Lost a
| greater way through, and are fairly loaded
primed and waiting to go off. But, after
all, as Aurora opens the eastern gates and
| ushes in the day that is to decide their
| fates, they find good cup OF tea necessary
| to steady their nerves, and even with this
precaution, the cold shivers will persist
| in tt laversing their spine, and they feel
| unutterably desolate. They go over to the
| book store and buy lead pencil and take
! a lingering look at any text book that may
| be lying around, and at length they shud-
| der their way over to examination.
They enter their names on the list of
applicants and try to whistle softly, in an
absent minded and unconcerned way-but
| it's hollow sham. They are burning
| with anxiety. Ifthey are ever subject to
sick-headaches, it will assail them upon
| that day. The tooth, with the tiny cavity
| not worth filling, throbs and Jumps in de-
rision. The whole head is sick and the
| whole heart faint.
| The questions are not at all what might
have been expected. Not a single thing
| about cube root, not one word concerning
| " Satan, Sin and DEATH" and not the re-
motest sugges ton of the Sandwish Is
| lands.
And so the day wakes and wanes. The
| Examiners circulate around and hear the
reading. and ask how many letters in the
| alphabet and all that sort of thing; and by
| and by the papers are finished somehow
| and the applicants straggle home, one by
| one, ana the inQuistorS come out just as
| bland and cheerful as ever and are real
| flesh and blood once more, and not hob
gObling after all.
| How many aching heads lie on sleepless
pillows all over the county that night.
What agonies of suspense are depicted on
| young and innocent fabes at all our church
| on Sabbath morning. What longing eyes
| wait for the mail that must inevitably re.
| veal success or failure.
People have become insane from less
| causes than these. Imagine the feelings
| of these above mentioned gentlemen il
upon some visit to our state asylum. they
| shonld be followed by shrieks resoundin g
] from side to side somewhat after this
fashion: "The passive voice is formed by
| the antipodes of Boston, and seven hun.
dred and twenty-five feet make chain on
each side of the equatorial current, de-
pending upon the verb which it limits p
All, gentlemen examiners! there is nc
| sting so bitter as that of remorse over past
deeds, the effects of which can vsr be
be recalled. Att.