The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-10-10
NEW NoR'-wEsTERs.
The common fly has 4 1000 eyes.
Drawing materials Corkscrews.


New York has 10000 newsboys.
Hop merchandise Dancing masters.
The beau for picnics rainbow.
-Womanhood-A bonnet. Manhood
A hat e
job boiled over when his patience gave
way.
1t takes $50 rails to lay mile of rail
road track.
Utah has an immense crop of peaches
this year.
Coal oil bills are counted among the
light Affections. M
Home stretch--The stretch across the
maternal knee.
Ribbons should be washed in cold suds
and not rinsed.
dan Rice is financially dead. Busted
three years in succession.
-Forty-seven thousand Germans have
gone back to Paris to live.
Don't write long obituaries. Save some
OF your kind words for the living.
-"Voluntary and responsible insanity y
is Gerrett Smiths analysis Of drunkenness
General Custer's book, "My Life Oh
the Plains, will shortly be issued by Shell
don & Co.
=" Brick" Pomeroy has joined the
Changers and they call him the Bald Head
ed Pilgrim of the Plough.
The Territory of New Mexico has a
canine population Of half a million. A fine
opening for sausage factory.
"A Tennessee man wrote his will on a
paper collar, and it passed safely through
the courts, although little unhandy about
fling.
"A Dubuque man offers to go out pray
ing with the sick at So per day, and adds
" Or will drive team, break colts or run a
cider MILL"
=" A child for adoption, to be born in
November" is advertised in New York
paper. Sex not stated. Such enterprise
can 60 no farther.
The editor of an agricultural paper
which publishes the sentence: "Make ma
nure of your old fadder,' wishes the last
word changed to 'fodder."
king Gomba, of Africa, has made use
of the new cable to say to Boston: "Last
missionary just been put to bake; rather
thin, send something corpulent."
Jeremiah Saint Clair Mount Vesuvius
Abrams, editor of the Atlanta Neus is the
only man in the State of Georgia who charg-
es for the ink when he signs his name.
-Barnum has Clergyman among his
performers in the hippodrome. He some
times varies the exercise by preaching to
country congregations as he passes along.
We are indebted to providential de-
rangement of Tupper's liver for his absence
from this country. Here at least is one ad-
vantage in having a liver.
Paris correspondents of foreign papers
have been requested by the French Govern
ment through the Ambassadors of their
several countries, to speak more politely of
the French army.
An Alabamian gave as his reason for
not attending church the fact that Sunday
was unfortunately the day he had set apart
for pounding his mule, and he couldn't
leave home.-Detrost Press.
The Presse announces that the con-
struction of the outer girdle of forts for the
defense of Paris will be commenced next
November, and they will give employment
to nearly two thousand workmen.
e. II. Weston, the funny man of the
Lancaster On. Ell. J Republican,, submits the
pronunciation of siErastus Richardson y as
being a test whether man is drunk or not.
Rassus Risson," he says, won't do.
= Darwin acknowledged himself sold
when his little niece asked him, seriously,
what cat has that no other animal has.
He gave it up, after mature deliberation,
and thus the sly little puss answered.
- sKittensr
The Trustees of Colorado College, at
Colorado Springs, recently elected Rev.
Jonathan Edwards, late of Massachusetts,
Professor of Literature, and S. T. French,
late Of Amherst College, Instructor of Pre-
paratory Department. ~
Montgomery Queens elephant broke
the arm of boy in Sacramento last summer,
and now the father wants SIC, 900 damages.
If he gets the money, the business ofraising
children to hang around circus elephants
will receive healthy stimulus.
Andy Johnson is making character
istically stubborn fight for the United
States Senatorship in Tennessee. Andy is
largely composed of the god of battles and
although he is not always successful, he
generally leaves his adversaries in too Grip
pied condition to enjoy their victory.
=" Can't the Chinese be trained to eat
the grasshoppers ?' is the question which
agonizes the heart of one section of the
great West; while another is riven with an
guish over the dread inquiry: !" Can't they
train the grasshoppers to eat the Chinese ?'
"A man died recently who had taken
his county paper twelve years without pay
ing for it. Upon the day of his burial the
kindhearted, forgiying editor called to see
him for the last time and stuffed linen
duster and q couple of palm leaf hats into
the coffin. He was prepared for a warmer
climate.
Some mystic power has come over Ne
vada Journalism. Within the last week
several of the Sage Brush sheets have been
using the word misstatement, when they
had always been in the habit of applying
the epithet g inspired and unadulterated
liar" The situation puzzles the Oldest in
habitant.
=" Mother" said little Ned one morning
after having fallen out of bed, &C think [
know why fell out of bed last night. 1t
was because I slept too near where I got
in.' Musing little while, as if in doubt
whether he had given the right explanation,
he added, No that wasn't the reason; it
was because slept too near where / fell
out.
"A child, born recently in Chautauaua
county, On. Y.) and still living, a local pa
per asserts has its heart located on the out
side of its chest, and in plain view. The
heart is perfect in form, weIl-proportioned
and as firm in texture as could be expected
in SO young child. When the child cries
the heart expands to nearly twice It's ordi-
nary size.
During the recent flood in Middlefield,
N. Z, a little five-year-old boy, when the
water had reached the height Of two or
three feet around the house in which he
was, fell upon his knees and uttered the
following prayer: 0 Lord, I don't like
this; take it away. You said when you set
your bow in the clouds you would have no
more floods. Now, how is this? Amen. =
ss III take a glass Of your divine nee
tar, 7 said a Young man in a lager beer sa-
loon the other day. a Vat ees dot?'' asked
the waiter. Z. would drain a goblet Of the
extract ofscmniferous hop. q Weton't
gots heem, " answered the waiter. sNum
skull, bring me a glass of lager The
waiter went to the barkecper and informed