The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-02-07
WIT AND WISDOM.

The song Of TOPPER That bright smile
haunts me still"
''MUGGINs" says that, in these hard
times, five dollar greenback looks as big
A. circus poster.
TO expect others to keep a secret which
You cannot keep yourself, is folly
AT recent dinner Of shoemakers the
following toast was given May we have
all the women in the country to shoe and
all the men to boot"
WHAT comes after T n asked teacher
Of a small pupil, who was learning the al
phabet. He received the bewildering re-
| ply You do-tO see Liza"
A machine which performs the opera
tIons Of rolling, sowing and narrowing
simultaneously, mas been invented in Dub
lin
Miss Il. says that the first time young
man squeezed her dress, she felt as IL she
was i'll the land where rainbows come from.
How poetical little hugging makes peo-
pie
AN assessor asked a woman how many
chickens she had, and, doubling her word.
proceeded to count them She took him
to the beehive, kicked it over, and invited
him 70 count the bees He'll take wo-
mans word next time
The gentlemen, who make habit Of
loaTing IN this office for the purpose of
talking over love affairs, and their lady
friends will confer favor upon the office,
by disseminating this unpleasantness La
dies take notice. 50 says the Altoona Sun.
A ACoUNTRY paper exclaims Lives there
man with soul 50 dead, who never to him
sell has said, I'LL pay before | 20 to bed,
the debt | owe the printer Yes, there are
some we know full well, who never such a
tale could tell, but they | fear, will 20 70
- well, the place where there's no win
ter"
An Indianapolis editor is responsible for
this "A young lady in Indiana sought to
deuollsh an unfaithful lover by publishing
some verses addressed to him, ia which,
after prophesying her immediate dissolu-
tlon, she sald Come gaze upon my dust,
false one But the compositor spelt the
dust with b
A GENTLEMAN, who went to take a lOdg-
ng, asked the servant, remarkably hand
some glrl, whether she was To let with the
lodging. She answered, mo, she was to
be ief alone
A SERVANT girl in a country town, whose
beauty formed a matter of general admira-
ton and discussion, in passing a group of
oiiicers in the street, heard one Of them
eNclaim To his fellow by heaven, she
y painted ''' Yes, sir and by heaven
only, she quickly replied. turning round
The officer acknowledged the force Of the
rebuke and apologized.
FTTz JoNEs (referring to his Indian ex-
perience) so, yes, we have, OF used To
have, some terrible affairs out there-aw ~
Katy SO, yes" Fitz Jones Pore ser
want of mine got there, literally eaten up
by i5cr, and the pore fellow died twenty
four hours afterwards And Fitz Jones
still wonders Why Katy laughed.
THREE things never can agree. Two
cats over one mouse, two wives III one
house, and two lovers after one young
lady
DANDURY Ne,rs: "All little boys are
not Indifferent to the need Of their little
sisters. There il an ingenious lad on Pine
street, who snow balls obese pedestrians
with view to made them dodge The
strain they are thus subjected 20 breaks
ut more or less of their buttons. which he
industriously gathers after the victims de-
parture, and gives TO his sister to put on
string.
A BEvY Of little children we're telling
their father what they got at school The
eldest, reading, spelling and definitions.
And what kind do you get, my little
one N said the father e. little rosy faced
fellow, who was at that time driving a ten
penny nail into the door pannel Me oh
sets readn, spclhn and spankins I"
IF, advertised philosophical victim,
" the person Who took fancy To my over
coat was influenced by the weather, then
all is serene but if he did so from com
mercial considerations, am ready to enter
into financial negotiations for its return
WHAT would become Of us if the
brake was 20 give way N exclaimed a ner-
vOus lady as the car In which she was rid
ing was going down steep decline
That would depend entirely upon how
you have lived ia this world, was the con
soling reply Of the conductor