Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-09-21
A weather reporter-A elan of thund


The result Of prohibition-homeward
the swallowers fy-at midnight, chuck
full cfOld rye.
Milwaukee women rise early, but they
roost on the back stoop and read the
Beecher news before dressing.
An old eynic says. With many wo-
men. going to church is little better than
looking into bonnet-shop-
Letyour motto be Liberty or dealh :"
and if 1t comes to the pinch, take the
most Of it in liberty
Grasshopper jam is the latest delicaey
in Kansas. The natives invariably pro-
nOunce it with . u instead Of II
There is FREELY in the southern
cline. which shineth when upon the
wing. So it IS with the mind: when
once We rest. we darken-
Doctor, said dying woman feebly.
about whose bed were gathered weeping
children and friends to hear her last re-
quest Doctor, can't you keep NE alive
until | hear Moulton's evidence ?"
A Paris journal speaking Of the great
scandal. says Monsieur Beeeher" was
an actor before he turned clergyman, and
that Monsieur Tiltin" is an English
lawyer who had gained a wide reputa-
ton in Boston as prosecutor Of erimin-
al suits
A lodging house fend tells the story
that in 4 recent thunderstorm the war
ring Of the elements was so awe-inspir-
ing that the hair In 4 dish of butter in
the pantry turned completely white dur
the night
In Chicago library book On self
culture" never got reader. The IL
brarian had it rebound, and rechristened
it "a Young Man on his Muscle, - and
anxious readers had to wait for weeks
before they could get it.
Two young men out riding were pass
ing farmhouse where . farmer was try
ng to harness IN obstinate mule
won't he draw ? said one of the men.
'-Of course, said the farmer, "he'1
draw the attention of every fool whc
passes this way The young men drove
on
The Richmond Enquirer thinks il
about time that Toombs got through
fighting and killing Yankees. but it add:
IN extenuation of his last manifesto thai
fighting has become second nature Il
him. and when he can't fight he has tC
go through the motions just to keep hi.
hand In.
A Romantic Miss, in York, ILL.,, re
Gently went out into the fields to MauG
MIllerize and rake the meadows swee
with hay She stood over yellow
hornets nest as she swung her IittI,
rake First jump. eleven feet. Dis
tanee to the house half . mile Time
two minutes. She hates Whittier now
Last Sunday. says the New York Sun
day Times, young lady from New Ha
ven was walking in the Central Park
under the escort Of New York gentle
man. Passing the bust of Humboldt
the gentleman called his compaIon's at
tentiOn to IT. On. yes, remarked tn
lady. with much animation, .'Humbold
that kept the drugstore 1 believe
did hear that he was busted"
Poor Max Adelerl Hear what he Ia
to say about . hotel clerk: 81 can shak
hands with a governor, SIT beside an q
derman. and smoke with State senator
and never feel my httIeness; but whe
| come to stand IN the presence Of
! modern hotel clerk l feel that awe an
inferiorIty which tourists feel as the
stand IN Yosemite valley and look u
at the mountaIn-tops q thousand fee
above"
This Is specimen Of Cincinnati p
etry:
She saw him on his bright blue steed
4 dusting down the road,
And pit q pat, and pit 4 pat
Her little heartfelt COED:
And soft she sobbered TO herself,
Though swift his PAGES be.
He cannot kite 50 fast but what
My heart keeps up with he
Monsieur Bilboquet (..Peintre Ac.
demieien III tell yOu. szre. zat ze :,
cret Of all true art Il lost, and zat pain
ing Is King Of ze past Zere are N
more than sree men living who are Wo
" of ze name Of painter 80
His Patron and Admirer-"Yes-ye
And who are the three men. Monster
Bilbequet2
Monsieur B1boquet--..VeiI. / Al
one Of ZEN have forgotten ze namt
Of Ze two others I"
A gentleman at Lake George. aft
} waving his handkerchief for half an hol
: or more at an unknown lady. whom |
discovered at q distant point on Il
: shore, was encouraged BY warm +
sponse to his signals 70 approach b
charmer. Imagine his feelings Ehei
On drawing nearer. he saw It vas h
own dear wife whom he had left at Il
hotel but q short time before. -Wh
how remarkable We should have reco,
. nizsd each other at such distance" e;
claimed both In the same breath al
! then they changed the subject