Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-16
Hints 10 Young Lady on Marriage
BY MISS +. J. PARNELL.

For the Paris American Register.
Don't marry an intellectual man.
The man who has read everything un-
der the sun, and whose conversation
sounds like a booksellers catalogue
read out aloud. The man who break
fasts with seven newspapers in front
of him, propped up on his cOffee-pot,
dimes with paleontology on one side
of his plate and animal physiology on
the other, and goes to sleep over
Comte and Bentham or Hegel and
Kant, according as his tastes may d.
rect; the man who writes articles for
scientific and philosophical maga-
zines. which solve satisfactorily eve
ry problem under the sun, and beyond
it, vet which, strange to say, are usu-
ally declined with thanks; the man
who has apparently swallowed the
Encyclopedia Britannica by mistake
for piece of. barley sugar when a
child, who corrects your grammar and
your dates, shuts everybody up by
coming out with-a Quantity of errone-
Gus information about every
thing in a dogmatic and grandiose
way, and tells professor of ancient
history that he should read his Taci-
tus over again, and reetifies the scan
ming of Latin quotation in the mouth
of some renowned classical scholar
who has just published an erudite
work on quantities; the man who sets
up laboratory in his own house, and
collects beetles, fossils, weeds, old
coins, shells, jelly-fsh, bones, parch-
ments, Venuses, with their noses dex-
terously broken of, and old masters
smoked up q chimney. The man who
talks everlastingly of progressive de-
velopment, self-culture, the gospel
of the future, the perfectibihty of so
ciety, the theory of the Absolute and
other still less intelligible doctrines;
the man who manifests his devotion
to you by lending you large folios on
heavy subjects to read, with the
pages all uncut, and which you have
to return, looking as if they had been
carefully perused; the man who, worst
of all, instead of sending You bORbORS
at New Year, sends you-a book.
Happy you, if on the tiyleaf be not in
scribed the dreadful words, with
the kindest regards and best wishes
of the author"
Don't marry the worthy young
man" The worthy young man is the
pet of the old ladies and the salvation
of wall flowers. He comes to au ev.
eaing party in thick boots and a frocB
coat, is overwhelmed with confusion,
and sticks in the doorway for an hour
where everybody tumbles over him
/ Finally, having summoned up cour.
age to ask YOU to dance, and you hay
ing been foolishly good-natured e
nough to consent, he either treads OF
your toes at every lunge, or lands you
neatly on the back of your head before
the eyes of some triumphant rival
He fetches You a coffee ice, whicl
you abhor, when YOU have asked fol
vanilla one, and upsets it ovel
your new ball dress, from Worth s
He comes to see you the next after
noon, to renew his apologies, anC
spills his cup of tea over your sOf;
aud carpet. "He treads on the paw!
of your leverette, and sits down il
the lap of the person behind him. II,
has the most intense fear of the ordea
of leave taking, and sits five morta
hours in your drawing-room from
sheer timidity. He noodles his opin
| luis va OuLos anu AAhO VIZ Az . SAAAAl
ten baronet in Middlemorch, says
''Yes, precisely" to every word yol
utter, till You long 10 say that tn
earth goes round the moon, or tina
potatoes grow on cherry trees, to o
bige him to dissent from you. He /
awfully good, and meek and humble
so you pity him too much to make ful
of him, but don't let pity carry yol
too far. How you would blush 70
his gducherieS, and be ready to sinl
into the earth at his Tduc pas, If yol
were responsible for him IN any way
As n rule, the worthy young man re
mains a bachelor, not being able t
get any one 10 take him, or else h
marries in remote country places
England, or in the wilds of America.
DON'T marry the punctual man.
have lived with many sorts of disa
greeable people, and here give it q
my decided opinion that punctual pei
sons are the most disagreeable kno'
of. After having stayed a mont
with very punctual family, 1 fOun
that looked at least five years olde
. than 1 did previously. My hair-pin
and buttons always went wrong JUS
I as the breakfast and dinner-gonq
: sounded. 1t always turned out this
, | had kept the whole family waitin
exactly three minutes and half b
j. the clock. The playful Late, as usI