Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-06-10
NO. %.
Varieties.

morals as in geometry.
The early bird has arrived, and is
hopping from tsig to twig.
If a Bedouin should lose his teeth.
would he talk gum Arabic.
A visit must be returned in like
manner; even though no intimacy IS
intended.
Worth's fancy for cutting the edge of
skirts in blocks and showing pleatings
between is also shown again.
Mr.. Galton intimates that wherelovely
woman is, the attention of male youths
is diverted from science to art.
Valedictory of His Honor, the Mayor
of Denver: '.Thank God, its over with
1 wouldn't take it again for a kingdom,
not if know it.
Bobbs complains that his wife is an
infiationist. She blows him up every
day, aud makes him circulate until he
actually feels that he Is beyond re-
demption.
The farmer should SOW his P's, keep
his Us warm, hive his BIS, kill off the
Us, remember what he C's, take care of
the VS., pay all he O's, teach his wife
not to rs, and take his Els.
A Boston millionaire offered a man
two dollars and half the other day for
stopping a runaway team and saving
the life of his daughter. The extrava-
gance of these millionaires is disgrace
full. Certainly a man cannot expect to
be millionaire long if he squanders his
money in that reckless manner.
A lady, well known in the fashionable
world of Paris, it is said, has for years
been In the habit of seeing her physician
daily. The physician always took his
fee, but never had occasion TO prescribe
for his patient. He called recently,
however, and was denied admittance.
Monsieur lie Doctor" said the servant.
Madame cannot receive to-day, she IS
indisposed."
A weary looking stranger threw him
self into chair one evening, and ab-
ruptly remarked, IF you are IN hurry,
never travel on a Mississippi river
steamboat. I've been three weeks on
the way up from New Orleans. The
boat stops ON the slightest provocation
A white horse switching his tail on the
bank Is taken as signal by the pilot,
and the boat Is rounded to.
Sydney Smith said whatever you
are from nature. keep to it never de
sert your own line of talent If Provi-
dence only intended you TO write posies
for rings, or notices for twelfth cakes,
keep to posies and notices, a good
motto for twelfth cake is more respecta-
BILE than yillainOus epic poem IN
twelve books. Be what nature intended
you for, and you viii succeed.
A correspondent of a Newburg paper
writes ''We were reminded a few
days since while digging about the yard
that this is to be the locust year. In
mense numbers of these little fellows,
nearly full grown, are now making their
way upward, and are within eight to ten
inches of the surface of the ground.
They will probably put in their appear
ance some time time III June. They
come every seventeen years. 3"
They tell a queer story about the
doctors in a certain Texas town, who
were all away last summer to attend
medical convention. They were absent
about two months, and on their return
found all their patients had recovered,
the drug-stores had closed, the nurses
had opened dancing-schOols, the ceme-
terry was cut up into building lots, ths
undertakers had gone to making tiddles,
and the hearse had been painted up and
sold for circus wagon.
A surgeon, after sanguinary battle,
was going his rounds, examining his
patients. He came at length 10 ser
geant who had been struck by a bullet
in the left breast, directly over TIE
region of the heart. The doctor, sur
prised at the narrow escape of the man,
exclaimed, "Why, my man, where in
the name of goodness could your heart
have been p Il guess it must have
been in my mouth just then. doctor"
replied the poor fellow, with a faint
smile.
A young man in Pittsburgh, Pa,
was directed to signal an approaching
train. While proceeding TO comply
with these orders he fell upon the track
and was run over by five cars and the
caboose. His legs were completely cut
off Just above the knee, but remember
ing his orders he cleared the track of
the dismembered portions OF his own
body, and taking flag from his pocket
waved it until he had stopped the train,
which was fast approaching. But for
this heroism other lives must certainly
have been lost, as a collision was ineyi-
table.
A lady in Portland, Me-, halted in
front of a garden the other day and
accosted man at work on some trees
with What are you doing to those
trees ?" ''Girding them, mada-z, with
printers ink and cotton TO prevent
canker worms from ascending" ''How
much does it cost ?" inquired the lady.
'About twenty-five cents" J." was the an
swer. whats your name 2 was the
lady's next question. ''Hill,' said the
man. "Well, wish you would come
and girdle ours" The man gave an
evasive answer, and the lady went home
and told her husband, who went into
commissions of laughter. ''Why, what
on earth are you laughing at = said
| she and as soon as the amused husband
caught his breath he told his wife that
/ the man she had asked to girdle her
trees was no less than the Rev. DR.. Hill,
late President Of Harvard College.
A letter from Japan in the Coiogns
Gazette says that the religious question,
which is an increasing topic OF discus
sion among the japanese, has again
been brought before the public by a
memorandum issued by two officials Of
the religious department. The memo
randum begins by pointing out that
Japan has made such immense progress
that her civilizatio2 and commerce are
equal to those of Europe, bat that in
religious matters she still hesitates be-
tween Buddhism and Christianity. II
therefore proposes that public disputa-
tions should be organized between
Buddhist and Shinto priests OF one
side, and Christian preachers on the
other. Each OF these disputatlons would
take place on specified subject, TO be
agreed upon beforehand by the con-