Litchfield enquirer., 1874-07-02
CLIP

cIrPp1Rcs.
 waeAkea has ssEtle.l down at Hamburg sgw tAN sammeE &sA P 4
 Rnhsmssssn Is to produce his oratorio, s-TAe Dx@0a. m Paris next Winter.
 Many wumea who arc counted honest saeel their pekticOats, bone their stays, exsh their hahies. and even hook theil drez@eS
 The lsAess dodge of San Francisco ehfrupcaisk Is to exhibit small boy md sn1o1nce thaA he has been successfully FezaoEcd from com.
 ucEe fz nothing more calculated to wszksn a boyis moral character than to se4 hls EShlng- hook fastened on rubbish gn the rvex.
 A nan vino fell into a vat of boiling lard aE1 gO& ont alive says that it was not an unpleasant sensation after the first mo- meat. hut he thought what a mighty qRsrrshzpe5 d0uRlIant he would make. A drunken Chinaman, feeling rich and e1aEed at hss progress in American civi- hzaEiun. wUnf through the streets of San Frznessco crying, sHOop-lal hoop la! ye all saEze as Mclean men. Hair cut short azJ drunk like helly''
 i little girl who had great kindness of hemKt for all tho animal creation. saw a hea PTcpaKIng to gather her chickens un- 1eT her wings. and shouted earnestly, 70 doat sit down On those beautiful little esF'as. yca great ugly old rOosterr'
 IL lssnnoanced as an interesting fact thzt Tor Sl. .Os0 a man can buy a ticket thza wlll carry him around the globe. This seems hsc useless extravaganza, when, if he w5El stand still, the globe itself will car " kIR around the same distance in twen- tv-fOar koRTS for nothing.
 Among tho gifts of bride was broom. ~Sth the fOglowlng:
 This trlflinggift accept of me;
 Its ase would commend:
 In sunshine use the brushy part,
 In sscxns. tho other end"
 TA2t dog cf yours flew at me this @a<zEzg and hss ne on the leg, and mo- tffv yUa thxt intend to shoot it the first tEzme \ see tt sSTlne dog is not mad. g Mall know he's not mad. What has ke gus to I~e zz3 alsouts It's that am Ea@1~
 ~T fe@r. s&Sd country minister to his assc&. when \ explsiRed to you in my hzrs4 eSxxSty sermon tisa. philanthropy was eae keve ot czr species. yOu must have uzsszm1Ae<StDc1 nc to say specie g which uAay scrozHt foE tho smallRess of the col ts,rsRa&-
 DSsruG*ezted Calaby ito ladies, who wrSlGEseS $a egs nd of their small change. @xSS ts1shSred him one fouFpcnny piece, twe threrPeEny ditto. one penny, one AzlfPs1zy, sna two farthings-the sum tskat szasszzklng t0 his proper fare: "Well! e~ tolg EaSht yer both a been saving LID tsar thEs treatz~ -Psgssch.
 feauRes<se Incident. Time-Morninp. Mekherl E1zklng great clattering on the hzlGsseFx wi1h the brOOmstick) :ssWi-i-i-ill- EsH1t gCe uP tElkS instant, yOu lazy dog you, and rususe slown te llrcakfasti" (Wiliiam 4ssesnt hearl. Father Ia few minutes la tsrA ~ESIls William Cspringing out of t-ssi- CouaiRg. sirg-'
 The csecs of lager upon those wl,o have taste for the Tentoaic beverage waS thus lacs.lly described by a German gentleman m an Ohio court the other clay:
 ''If yoa drink five or six glass of lager Ea little while you will feel more pleas ant as n you drink five or six glasses of wkter Tn the same time, and if you drink five or SIX glasses of water i'd little while yea will feel more disappointed as if you drink five or six glasses of lager in the same time
 Slightly sarcastic was the clergyman who paused and addressed a man coming into church after the sermon had begun, with the remark: ''Glad to see you, slr. come in; always glad to see those here late who can't come early;" and decidedly self-pOssessed was the man thus address ed, m the presence of an astonished con. gTegatl0n as he responded: '"Thank you; would you favor mo with the text?'
 A Parisian, who was known as a free thinker, met a friend the other day, and taking him by the hand, said, 'sI have become Christian"
 ''f am glad to hear it,, he replied; suppose we now have n settlement Of that little account between us. Pay me that thOn owest."
 No" said the newborn child, turning on his heel; Religion is religion, and business Is business.