Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-06-11
Here and There a pa.h.

Chief of Police, Trice, had a refractory
rooster in charge last Monday.
His Honor, the Mayor, has adorned his
comelr form with new linen duster.
There was Simultaneous run on mos
quito bars and mint-juleps last Monday.
Don't forget 10 go to Marshall College
tonight. The exercises will more than
repay You.
Our young friend Halter, with his beau
tiful bride, returned from his wedding
tour last Saturday.
An observing Third avenue rooster,
who knows, says there are twenty-five ba-
bies on the square between Tenth and
Eleventh streets.
The Third avenue ROSTERS are making
common bath tub nowadays out OF the
Ohio River, and they plunge right in reek-
lessly with their shirts off
Two brilliant ladies, at present visiting
some friends in town, have been mentioned
in complimentary terms by Third ave-
nue. rooster, as "slashers."
Since the physician put himself inside
of that new-fangled duster, he has been
mistaken several times for Catholic
priest. We mean no disrespect, Of course,
to the priest.
The inevitable Nichols has been going
the rounds, making us hold up our right
hands and tell what we know about per-
sonalties, realities, stocks and bonds. And
then he puts the just valuation upon them,
too, which makes it hard these dull times.
Barboursville is literally in bloom. If
the male portion of the population up
there would show the same degree of en-
ergy in prosecuting likelihood that the
ladies do in cultivatipg flowers, they would
have few more sinners than they do
now jingling in their trousers pockets at
the end Of the year.
An over-confdent Chicago Insurance
Agent made an indirect remark at Yer
lander's store, Saturday, about somebody
not being gentlemen, and the venerable
Rock over-hearing him, he put in right
and-lefter under Mr.. Insurance Agents
left ear, which laid him across the gutter.
Rock never strikes below the belt.
A nun Der OF grasshoppers, sent by ex-
press from Iowa, got loose in the Sentinel
Office yesterday. One inquisitive hopper
made its way down through the press
room, and yelled up through the speaking
tube to the others: "hi boys, come down
here; here's set OF cog-wheels as ten
der as a telegraph pole. "-Ail~sukee Sen
tine!
A Virginia railroad was made TO pay
S25 for killing rooster. The engineer
said he spoke to the gentleman as kindly
ga possible with tie whistle, but when the
fellow dropped one wing on the ground,
raised his good eye heayenward, and COM
menced whetting his spur on the rail,
forbearance ceased TO be 4 virtue, and
he lit into him with a train of thirteen
freight cars, and forwarded him to his
happy scratching ground by lightning ex-
press.
A colored sister who resides below Sew
enth street called .on Mayor Burke the
other day, and made statement that
touched upon the social status of the in
habitants living in that locality. Itseems
that our colored fellow-citizens in that
quarter Of the town are given now and
then to unruly pastimes. The complain
ing damsel said that an alteration had
taken place between man and woman
down there, and that they eft and fit Just
az il they were married"
We we're handed, the other day, copy
OF the Head Light Ia brilliant little sheet
published in Thayer, Kansas, and in
CHANGING over its columns, We find it pays
complimentary notice to our genial
townsman, Gen. Obey. 1t speaks OF him
as the "old war horse" who is now "living
in seclusion, in quiet village in West
Virginia" The editor also twits the Gen
eral on the subject of matrimony, and re-
minds him that he is "thirty-threa years
old" This was unkind in the Head Light,
as the GeI eral will pass anywhere for
twenty-seyeu.
Mrs. II. jenkins took us ngreeably by
surprise last Saturday afternoon. Her
compliments were substantially attended
by huge dish of big, plump strawbcr-
ries, and pitcher OF cream. Nor was
that all. They were garlanded with rich
geranium leaves and pansies, which made
them indescribably beautiful. Goodness
weren't they delicious, though! The hard
est thing we found, after eating them, was
to get down to poor living again. We
have turned up cur nose at gooseberry pie
ever since, nor deigned to recognize an
old acquaintance in the shape OF hotel
cu-,ard. If our invocatiOns will have
any influence in regulating the seasons,
Mrs. is strawberry patch shall blossom
and bear abundantly, and without end.
4 rather amusing incident occurred at
the Central Land Company's building last
Tuesday afternoon. There were about
two dozen young ladies, all busy as crick-
cts, decorating the Festival hall, when
that darIley shot himself through the
hard. The stir that il created was mag
nifcent. After knocking down several
tables, and falling over chairs, they dis
persed in quest OF medical aid. Each
particular one went for her fayorite ply
sican, and the result was that in the
course Of twenty minutes doctors could
be seen pouring in from all direc-
tons like bees to hive during a brisk
shower. Up to five O'Clock they were still
coming in. On viewing the situation,
each individual doctor somehow made the
same ejaculation, which was-"Sold"
The itinerant DR.. Cook, who was ad
vertised to lecture at Burdick's Hall, last
Thursday afternoon, on Feminine Phisi-
ology, or brief calculation OF that Di-
vine Injunction which says: Woman
should be taught to know herself; Mothers
are commanded tT'-instruct their Daugh-
ters," left town the following morning
thoroughly disguised with the place. At
the appointed hour he went to the Hall,
but not a single female auditor was pres
eut to hear his startling secrets. So he
quietly returned to his room at the hotel,
with visions of an unpaid board-bill float
ing before his mind. No doubt he reach
cd the conclusion that the mothers OF Hum
tington are pretty well acquainted with
themselves; and az for instructing the
daughter the learned Doctor would find
that task weightier one than he had cal
culaled upon. In fact, what the daugh-
ters don't know can be set down as not
worth knowing. 1t might not be out Of
place to state, in this connection, that sew
aral Third avenue ROSTERS appeared At the
hall and endeayored TO persuade the old