The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-07-08
SCRAPS.

Flash youth-the telegraph boys
The ball kept rolling-the Gro
'qluet ball.
The article chiefly sold at most
fancy fairs-the visitor.
What trade is it whose work:
are trampled under foot? A shoe
makers.
A disgusted Milwaukee fisher
man offers a chrome to every fsl
that will take the bait.
A sensitive girl has broken of
the match because he said she hat
a foot like raisin box. 49, "
When deaf and dumb lovers arc
) married, two members of the we'd
ding party are sure to be unspeaka
bly happy.
Bayard Taylor has secured the
~;private correspondence that passed
between Joseph and Potiphar's
wife. Sly boy.
"He has left a void that cannot
easily be flled,' as the bank direc'
tor touchingly remarked of the
absconding cashier.
Green Bay has decided that a
widower ought to mourn at least
three weeks before shying around
for a second wife.
A Cuban dollar is now worth
only thirteen cents, but they keep
on calling it a dollar just for the
fun of the thing.
Excursion tickets to participate
in the festivities attending the exc,
cution of Jim Davis" are advcr.
.tised at half-price in Texas.
The Peoria woman who wanted
to throw herself into her husbands
grave a few months ago has just
married a lightning-rod man.
''For young woman to begin tc
pick lint of: a young mans coat
collar" is said to be the first symp
tom that the young man is in peril
A Kentucky farmer says thai
three good bulldogs roaming tht
yard nights will do more to keep
man honest than all the talking il
the world.
Henry Ward Deechcs said that i
any college should put two DIS aftel
his name, he should feel inclined tt
put a dash between them and sent
them back.
A Kansas boy earned a nice bible
by committing three hundred verses
to memory, and then he traded the
bible for shotgun and accident
ally shot his aunt in the hind leg
A nev style Of boys ,troEser:
has been invented in Boston, witt
a copper scat, sheet-iron knees, riv
leted down in the seams, and water
proof pockets, to hold broker
eggs.
A Nevada lady recently tool
unfair advantage Of her husband
indulgence in a bath to elope with
another man, and the bereaved one
expressed the conviction that she
had been waiting the opportunity
for months. =
Referring to the way the least
rumble of Bald Mountain, down in
North Carolina, sends people. there
about to their knees, a Chicago pa
per piously remarks that a Bale
Mountain wouldn't be a bad thing
TO have in Chicago.
81 tell you,'' said a Wisconsin
man to a neighbor the next day
after burying his wife, "when ]
came to get into bed, and lay thar,
and not hearing Lucinda jawing
around for an hour and a half, il
Just made me feel as if I'd moved
into strange country"
There is nothing like dressing
your local items in rhetorical finery
even if you do have to come to
plain English at the end. See an
example: An Oswego paper de-
,scribes a fire by saying that ":the
red flames danced in the heavens
and flung their fiery arms about
like black funeral pail, putil Sam
Jones got upon the roof and dashed
them out with pail Of water.'
Conversation between an enqui-
ring stranger and a steamboat. pi-
lot: tsThat is Black Mountain p
eyes, sir; highest mountain above
Lake George" "Any story or le-
genl connected with that noun,
tain?" "Lots of 'em. Two lovers
went up that mountain once and
never came back again. "Indeed
Why, what became Of them p
."Went down on the other side"
It is announced that a man who
last season had $50 worth of trunks
destroyed by the ''baggage smash.
ers," has had five new ones made
to order and supplied with COM