The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-02-28
HUMOROUS.

When is young lady like whale?
When she is pouting.
"A little girl in Des Moines wants to
know why there are no lie dolls.
If cigar makes man III, will
cherOot make a man lila?
If a saloon keeper gets rich it is
because he makes many good bargains.
In pocket-picking, as in everything
else, man never succeeds until he gets
his hand in.
DO not run in debt to the shoe
maker; it is 30 unpleasant to be unable
to say your soul is your own.
-"Mister, owe you n grudge, rem>
emner that!"' '"I shall not be frightened. |.
for l never knew you to pay anything
you owed.
What is the difference between a
farmer and bottle of whiskey? One
husbands the corn, and the other corns
the husbands.
"A Western paper announces the
coming of star actor who will show
our 'tenighted citizens how that
Shakespeare ought 10 be slung."
The editor of the Panama Star ap
ologizes Tor the non appearance uf his
paper by saying that he had to haul of
to dig buckshot out of his legs.
An Irish crier being ordered to
clear the court, did so by this announce
ment: "Now, than, all ye blackguards
that isn't lawyers must lave the court"
---.Are blacksmlths. who make llv-
ing by forging or carpenters, who do
little counter fitting. 'hy wJr>o thIn
men who sell iron and steel for liS-
ing?
Good morning." said acompo'itOr
to the head of a tlourishing family;
"have you daughters who would make
goodbye setters"' mo, but have
vile who would very good devil"
What do you suppose led Alexan-
der Sekirk to believe that the Island OF
Juan Fernandez was inhabited? lie
saw, on reaching the Island, heavy
swell" on the shore, and ''little cove"
running inland.
The death of one person from the
pork disease, IN Chicago, has caused the
people there to abandon porS pretty
generally. A dozen deaths from rum
wOuld'nt frighten them half 80 much,
or damage the trade In the least.
- ConId anything be neater than
the old darkeY's reply to a beautiful
young lady whom he offered to lift over
the gutter, and who insisted that she
was too heavy? "Lor miSsus," said he,
"I's used TO lifting barrels of sugar"
The last definition is that given by
little fellow IN puViic scnool at st.
Paul, MINI, who, having spelled the
word "sob," was asked to define the
word, and said: 1T means when feller
don't want to cry aud busts out itSelf:"
-"What would become of US II the
brake was tc give way?" exclaimed
nervous lady in the car ia which she
was riding was going down steep de-
cine. "rhat would depend entirely
upon how you have lived in this world"
was the consoliug answered. the conduc.
tor.
The Corning Gazette saysthat there
are at the present time but four young
men in that town who part their hair
in the middle. One year ago they NUM-
be.ed over twenty, but death and the
Iunatic asylum. and penitentiary have
cut down their numbers to the present
figures.
"A son Of the Emerald Isle was at
school. The teacher told him to spell
hostility. horse" commenc-
ID Pat. "Not horSe-tility," said the
eaeber. "but hostility" "Shure."
replied Pat, "an' dldent ye be telling
ne the other day not TO say hoss2 10
abess. its tho wan thing Wtd yees opo
lay, and nnudeT, the next