The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1874-01-08
FACTS AEO FANCIES FOR THE
LADIES.

IL a dO11S.
things they wore last year-if they can
buy others.
If any man thinks rebellion is mic
thing, let him get married
The old maxim that "mar proposes" j
fatty contradicted by Massachusetts spin
sters.
Tie straighten- Mary Jane and-shov
your breast-pin attitude has superseded the
Grecian bend in Peoria.
Brigham Young is getting particular
lie Doesn't want any women converts ovel
thirty sent to Salt Lake.
| No man is safe these times A convict
at Sing Sing has had notice o. a breach OF
/ promise suit served on him.
Three widows are candidates for post
mistress in an Illinois town, and the Tt.
Boston Posi- says they are very anxious to
bag the mails.
Madam, great many persons were
disturbed at the concert last night by the
crying of our baby" "Wen, | do wonder
such persons Will 60 to concerts"
Tipkins aroused his wife from sound
sleep the other night, saving he had seen Il
ghost IN the shape Of an ass. "Oh, let me
Sleep was the reply Of the irats dame,
''and don't be frightened at your own
shadow"
Uusband-"Why don't you wear hair
and things, and dresses, and look like other
women" Wife-"What. and have every
body say, ''Wh a pity that handsome
wonAn married that ugly little man" Oh,
no.
Among the gifts of bride was broom,
with the following:-
his triIns gift accept from me.
1t 5 use | wound commend;
In sunshine Use the byu,hY part,
In storms the other end -
In the Indian territory every settler who
'ii rs niu'''' - hefe'i'ei ~ ue pfesch-
ted with section OF land. A good looking
gentleman could gobLle up tie whole tcrri-
tory in IL year or tao.
There is woman in the vicinity Of Sew
erancs who is in the habit Of lnir-vinr
every man who Gomez along. The Troy
CA'cf says She long ago got far beyond
ctry.
\ New Hampshire farmers wife fell IA
to a well, aud it was four days before he
missed her, and made search He said he
thought tie house unusually quiet, but he
didn't know what made i. so.
1t is to be noticed thar ont OF the list Of
complaints made by ladies about servants,
cne complaint is universal, and is almost
always made in the same lansuage-" They
will have the last word" This is a recu
liariy feminine grievance.
4 New Albany boarding school miss to
her mother: 81 would wish to appear to
the best advantage at the examination.
therefore request that you will rem. me
some money with which to purchase pair
of calves, hustle, and waterfall. May
God bless you.
"Ah! my dear, said the phiosophic
Miranda, "the arrangements of Nature
ever excite my wonder and admiration.
The same wind which masses our crinoline
blows dust 10 the eyes Of y,uIg men Shc
are 50 anxious to examine IL
A gentleman al dance renai kod to his
partner, witty yolng LAZY, that the room
was close he must 20 out and ct some
air After GU absence ut half an hour he
returned, when she asked him IF he had
been TO the graveyard, as his breath smclt
Of the beer
An inquisitive young man said to his
| mathcrs's brother: "Uncle James, how i.
it that YOU and Aunt Sarah never a.rec?'
Bee ciuse, my boy, we are both of Us OF one
mind, and have been so ever since we were
married" "IIow is th,t, Uncle? don't
understand YOU "Why, my boy, you see
! she always wants 10 be master and 81
| do l."
Mss Hannah T. Gould once wrote thi.
n. an epi,aph for Caleb Cushing;
Lie aside, all ye dead,
For in the next bed
| Reposes the hody Of Cus hing
Who wcnicd bis way
Through the world, as they sny,
And perhaps, row he's dead,
lie II be pushing.
Mr.. Cushing retorted rs follows:
Here lies one whosc Wit,
Without woundlns, could hit,
May the turf lie Eighty above her;
She has sent every beau
TO the region below.
Aud goae dowa herself for Iorer
The ST LOUIS Democrat relates the FOL
lowing: During the progress Of the trl;l
of the case of widow Matthews against tn
elevator company, in the court YESTERDAY
Col. Slayback, counsel for the defendant
conceived the idea that one MurEhy, vii
, ness the plaintiff, was sCitor fpr th
hand of the widow, and on tic eve OF lcad
ing her to the alter. Getting Murphy o
the stand, the lawyer endeaTorei to brin
this fact before the jury, and this was tn
j., upshot cf the examination: "Mr. Murphy
, are you any relation to the plaintiff" an
lSn,n-- p, hn7
4 such thing might happen" "Ncv
are you not going to marry herr" eli
afraid not" "Yor are afraid you won
,h. Well now don't you expect to MARI
:, ! hers- .sIf my wife shoui1 die and IN