The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1874-12-17
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
How many intelligent square rods d'

it take TO make wiseacre?
WATER LINE applied with dry, soft
cloth will give glass a nice, clear cast.
No MANNERS are so fine as the most
awkward manifestations of good will
| toward men
| A COMPOsIToR en- "a st. Louis paper
made an editor say that this war-cry is
the keyhole of victory"
| Mrs PARTINGToN says that on Thanks
giving days she allows Ike to fill him
self TO his utmost rapaCity.'
WEDDING fees are said to rank low this
year; in prudent remembrance, doubt
less, OF the high price of divorce.
| RELOCATED to the quietude of his own
residence" is what they cali il in De
troit when candidate is defeated
| a MIssoURtAN offers $3.50 AID three
| will marry him and love him for himself
| alone.
| In riding on the rail" always take Il
seat Just in front of fat old gentleman.
| In case of IA collision he breaks the hurt
wonderfully.
THE Agricultural Bureau estimates the
| average value of horses in this country at
| $71 As head. Well take pair at that
| tigure.-Boston Post
DvCToRs now claim that it is healthy
TO eat two whole mince pies and a hunk
of cold beef just before going TO bed
They know how TO get practice.
ONE THOUSAND shingles laid four
| inches TO the weather will cover 100
square feet of surface, and five pounds
of shingle nails will fasten them on.
BECAUSE IA man deserves success is not
| the best reason why he will achieve it,
If men were to get all they deserve in
this world too many of them would be
hung.
THERE is probably not an unexplained
young rascal in the world who does not
at times feel that his mother is con-
venience which he could not possibly
dispense with.
YOU thought that the word "honesty"
was hollow mockery, eh! Know We, then,
that a San Francisco car driver grieved
himself to death because he was charged
with stealing.
Now NOBODY can deny to his fellow
man the luxury of scratching 1t is in
cluded in that pursuit of happiness"
for which our Revolutionary fathers
fought and bled.
THERE is demand on genius for the
invention of power accommodating wind
mill, by which the power can be stored
up when the wind blows, to be used CON
tiuuously and regularly.
OF course "a woman dOeS't want her
plants to freeze, but still one can't blame
man for raising a row when he hops
out of bed in the morning and finds a
geranium plant in each trousers leg.
This test" says the Practical Farmer,
" is considered infallible: No COW with
a deep yellow skin has yet been known
to give poor milk" Yellow skinned cows
and yellow-legged chickens are the right
kinds.
"A CINCINNATI woman used 10 think
paralysis a dangerous thing, but since
her husband comes home twice week
with such a stroke of it that he has to
be carried up the steps she rather SCOTS
al paralysis.
The fact that the elephantic race is
dying out suggests the awful question:
When the pachydermatous animals are
extinct what will the little boys care for
the circus? or big ones for the billiard
tournament
WHEN we see man down and are
selzed with an itching to kick him it is
well to make sure that he will not get
ton becomes embarrassing and some
times unsafe.-ErcIaHge
WHILE ten men watch for chances, one
man makes chances; while ten men wait
for something to turn up, one turns
something up; so, while ten fail, one
succeeds and is called a man of luck
the favorite of fortune. There is no luck
like pluck, aud fortune most favors those
who are most pdiffprapt to fnrtupa
THERE is more human nature in this
remark than is often found in ST. brief a
space: Determined beforehand, we
gravely pretend TO ask the opinion and
thoughts of a friend; should his differ
from ours on any pretense, we pity his
want both of judgment and sense; but
if he falls into and tlatters our plan, Why,
really, we think him a sensible man"
A FEW brutal remarks by fashion
critic: Fancy fashionable gentleman
with mess of greasy, filthy false hair
hanging over and soiling beyond the
limit of decency the collar and shoul-
ders of 5000 coat-supposing for the
sake of illustration that it would he pos
sible to find one costing SO much money
or with his trousers legs trailing in
the dust and mud, making his hosiery
and underwear SO abominably wet and
dirty as to be at once uncomfortable, un-
healthy and indecent"
The eggs of turtles are considered
great luxury by bears DR.. Frank rnx,
a well-known hunter of New Smyrna,
says he once saw bear take his stand
behind "A turtle on the nest. Bruin
caught the eggs in alternate paws as they
fell, and devoured them with smack of
the chops that could be heard at the dis
tance of 100 yards. Bears have been
known to watch turtles for hours, and
then tear them to pieces because they
showed no disposition to lay. The eggs
are deposited at a depth of from fifteen
to eighteen inches. They are not oval
but round, and nearly the size of hens
egg. The shell is flexible, and white as
snow.