The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-06-11
A Wonderful Liar.

An Englishman, travelling on the
Mississippi, told some rather tough
stories about London thieves.
A Cincinnati chap named Case heard
these narratives with silent but express
sive humph, and then remarked that he
thought the Western thieves beat the
London operators all hollow.
"How so p inquired the Englishman,
with surprise. hPray, sir, have you
lived much in the West p
"NOt a great deal. / undertook to
set up business at the Des Moines Rapids
a while ago, but the rascally people stole
nearly everything l had, and finally a
Welsh miner ran off with my wife,"
"Gracious!" said the Englishman.
And have you never found her %
Never to this day. But that was
not the worst of it."
"Worst What could be worse than
stealinga mans wifew
:" Stealing his children, should say"
said the implacable Case.
Children %
=" Yes; niger woman, who had none
of her own, abducted my youngest
daughter, and sloped and joined the
Injnns." -,
Did you see herT'
"See her? Yes She hadn't ten rods
the start of me; but she plunged into
the lake and swan off like a duck, and
there wasn't a canoe to follow her with"
The Englishman leaned back in his
chair, and called for another mug of 'alf
and-alf while Case smoked his cigar.
~ shan't 60 any further West, /
think" at length observed the excited
John Bull.
"I should not advise any one to co."
said Case, quietly. "My brother once
lived there, but he had to leave, although
his business was the best in the country"
What business was he in, pray"
Lumbering--had saw-mill."
And they stole his lumberw
eyes, and his saw-logs, too"
"Saw-logsp
Yes; whole dozens of black walnut
logs were spirited off or carried away in
a single night. True, upon my honor,
sir. He tried every way to prevent it !;
had men hired to watch his logs, but it
was no use. They would whip them
away as easily as if there had been no
body there. They would steal them out
of the cove, and even out of the rail
ways"
"Good gracious p
"Just to give you an idea how they
steal out there" sending a sly wink to
the listening company --"just to give
you an idea--did you ever work in a
saw-willW
"Never."
"Well, one day my brother bought an
ALFRED fine black-walnut log, four feet
three at the butt, and not knot in it.
He was determined to keep that log,
anyhow, and hired two canny Scotchmen
to watch it all night. Well, they took a
small demijohn of whiskey with them,
snaked the log up the side of the hill,
above the mill, built fire, and then sat
down to play keerds, just to keep them
awake, you see. Twas q monstrous big
log, bark two inches thick. Well, as l
was saying, they played keerds and drank
whisky all night, and, as it began to
grow light, went a-straddle of the log. A
minute after daylight George went over
to the mill to see how they were getting
on, and the log was gonew
What were the Scotchmen doing?"
"Sitting on the bark. The thieves
had drove an iron wedge into the butt
end, which pointed down hill, and
hitched yoke of oxen on and pulled it
right out, leaving the shell, and the
Scotchers sitting a-straddle of it, fast
asleepw
The Englishman here rose, dropped
his cigar-stub into the spittoon, looked at
his watch, and said he thought he'd 90
on deck and see how far we'd be down
the river before morning.