The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-06-05
A Slack Husband Punished.

'A1r. Moncton," said Mrs. NJ, az
have no wood to burn to-day. Whai
shall ] do ?"
40, send Louise to pick up somep
said the good-natured man, making 2
stride towards the door.
but she has already picked upall she
can find"
"Well, then, LET her break up some old
stuff or othern
"But she has broken up every posssi-
ble thing"
''Well, then, do the next best thing: I
must be off," And off he was, whist
ling as he went, and no doubt wonder
ing in his mind what the next best
thing would turn out to be.
Noon came, and with ii Mr.. NJ. and
four hungry laborers. The good wife
stood in the kitchen spinning on her
great wheel and singing pleasant ditty.
Louise was securing IN the back room,
and the cat was purring on the hearth
before a black and fireless chimney.
while the table was in the room, spread
for dinner, but the dishes empty.
"Well, here we are" said Mr.. NJ,
cheerfully.
"So 1 see" replied she placidly !;
"have you had good morning in the
cornfield ?'i
eyes; but where is our dinner?n
"In the pot on the doorstep. See if
IL Is donen
And on the doorstep, to be sure, sat
the great iron pot, nicely covered, but
not looking particularly steamy. MrM.
raised the cover, and there Law all the
ingredients Of boiled dinner-all pre-
pared in the incest manner.
"Why, woman, what does this mean?u
began he, Indignantly. "This dinner
isn't cooked"
"Dear me, isn't it? Why it has been
In the sun four hours ?p
"Been in the sun"
"You told me to try the next best
thing to having a fire, and thought
setting the dinner in the sun was about
that"
Mr.. NJ. stood doubtful for a moment.
but finally his sense Of humor overcame
his sense Of injury, and he laughed.
Then picking up his hat he said:
'Come, boys, we may as well start for
the wood. Well have no dinner till we
earn 1t, see."
Wont you have some bread and
cheese before you go ?1 asked his wife,
generous In her victory, as women al
day. viz
Inc cellar stairs in the old farmhouse
had become broken and so unsafe that
Mrs Moncton besieged her husband
early and late 10 repair them. lest soma
acclnenb snould happen. He always
promised to do so, and always forgot TO
tulfll ms promises. At last, one day,
Mrs NJ. fell in going down. and sniIIsd
the milk she wGs carrying.
"Are you hurt ?" asked her husband.
smoking his pipe before the fire.
mo matter whether am or not ~ re-
turned the angry housewife, re-appear-
ing with the empty pan. THAT is the
last time carry milk down those stairs
until they are mended."
"Please yourself, and find the next
best way to get it down" said he, vexed
by her tone.
"I viii, }" said she, and she was as good
as her word. The next evening Mr.. NJ.
went down to the cellar to draw some
cider.
'What in thunder ~ exclaimed he-l
nothing worse, I assure you, for he was
noI profane man-"what in thunder |
Is the matter down here +? Why, |
ssom2n' the milk is all over the cellar
,.Is it ?" replied his wife tr.non;,,r
ing so far.'' ''AeiS enough iall-
Failing 50 far? What in the world
ny, you know 1 said wouldD,,
carry milk over those hrolo,O "Ousuii .I !
again. and you told me 10 trv 81 SeAlIs .I-
best way Of getting it down: 40 III + neHt t'e1,t
up board in the kitchen f1oor ,t 'ooA
down the pans and then strained "a Nv
milk down into them" tue
The cellar stairs were mended na~t
day.