The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-06-06
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Advocates of Hogging in schools assert that
youth cannot be properly educated without stern
discipline.
a father in Wisconsin offered his boy $500 to
take dose Of castOr-Oil, and then got a counter
felt bill of on the boy.
\ Georgia paper has for its motto: sit is not
rank, nor birth, nor state, but get up and get
that makes men great
The Wyoming Journals fees for marriage no.
tices ''as high the ecstacy and Iiberaity Of
the bridegroom may prompt"
\ san Diego (CaI) jury returned unanimous
verdict OF % not guilty. but they unanimously
requested that the defendant restore the sheep.
The New Orleans Picay,re wants some of the
female crusaders 70 visit that city, and try and
remove some Of the bars from the mouth of the
Mississippi
California agricuIturists arc going largely in-
10 ginger They haven't got much beyond the
first syllable yet, but hope to do so when the
Ilants gcrmlnate-
Everybody nowadays is - lady" or a ~ gen
tIeman-' \ ST Louis paper recently informed
it, readers that % two gentlemen and lady left
for the penitentiary last night"
An exchange asks. .'Is there. anything that
man can not dO2' To which DIR. Wood of the
Glasgow (Ky) Times, replies ''Yes, sir; we
y
In n recent trial in Baltimore 1t was shown that
patent medicine men can get almanac certificates
Of the wonderful virtues Of their medicines for
fifty cents per head.
An Iowa woman poured hot water down her
husbands back to cure the toothache, and the
Jury held that -he practIcIng without IL
censc. and sent her to Jail for six months.
The very worst pun Of the season: 1t was very
good Of James Gordon Bennett to commission
DelU.OnicO To provide $4,000 worth OF soup for
the suffering poor OF New York. When 1t shall
have Bennett up, will James Gordon be good
enough 10 order another plate?
According to the Lawrence EagLe, peace-lov-
inr husband Of that city n few months ago agreed
10 give his wife three dollars a week to maintain
comparative silence, deducting one cent for each
superiuOus word she uttered. She now owes
him nearly enough TO pay the city debt
IKUEK-The word husband, with which young
women before marriage associate so much poetry
and romance is not in etymOlogy all that fancy
NAV represent it. 1t is AnglO-SaxOn-husbonda,
composed Of hus and honda, meaning house bOor.
We fear the significance of the word IS truer than
many spOuses would wish to admit.
LIKE AND Nor LIKE.-A good wife is like
snail Why? Because she keeps her own house.
A good wife is not like snail. Why? Because
she does not carry her all on her back. good
wife Is ike n tOwn-clOck. Why? Because she
clock Why? Because she does not speak so
loud that all tie town can hear her.
NICE FRoNrIsgrECE-A publisher in Yedo, ia
pan. has Just issued life of Washington in forty
four volumes. printed in japanese characters. and
illustrated with numerous engravings. On the
frontspiece Is the portrait Of the first President
of the United States, IN the costume of the pres
ent day, wearing heavy mOustaehe. carrying a
cane in his hand, and escorted by 4 terrier dog.
: \ Chicago paper tells of a prominent liquor
house ia that city which has issued circular on
, ,,ostaI card, which has been mailed to all the
rrTraI GOWNS wherein the saloon crusade is in pro-
,ress Offering to sell case Of iquOrs-one dozen
BottIes-for eight dollars. and says: . You can
have the case marked Soap or anything you
wish. if YOU do not wish the faul FTyers 10
know what the box contains
The proposed amendment Of the Constitution
or Rhode Island reads thus . Men and women,
politically and legally, shall be entitled to equal
RIGHTS and privileges, and shall be subject to equal
dtties and liabilities" This includes, OF course,
the dutv and the liability of bearing arms; and the
ladies Of Rhode Island will please remember that
when things come to that pass the time Tor talk
and argument has passed
RrrEovED Hm.-A few evenings ago a certain
voun, man went 70 spend the evening with his
affanced During the evening he told few
stories and called them tales. The lady reprOved
him and old him he should say - anecdotes.
After a short time he went out To see ms horse
When he returned she asked him how his horse
was getting along. ''Oh,' he said, .' he's all
right. only the calves have ehawed of his anec-
dOte"
OTHER EvfDEScE--NOting that Schuyler Col
fax was presented with buggy on Christmas Day
bv the Srudebaker Wagon Company OF South
Bend. the Elkhart Democrat says that Taen he
runs for Congress again he viii sOlemnly atIrm
that no one ever gave him buggy, nor the prlncl-
pal part Of buggy. nor a cents worth OF inter
est IN a buggy, tenth part of 4 cent. 30
Studebaker will do well to have other evidence of
= tb, Elct than a mere memorandum.
. 4 man who Is addicted to practical jokes step
ped into a popular saloon at New Albany, Indi-
: ana. the other day, and excitedly exclaimed ::
~ The women are coming - The effect on the
Hcrowd Of card-players and drinkers WAS instanta-
Mucous. The cards were showed down into pOck-
hets. without n murmur, except from one worthy,
1xho held . four times in his hand The drink
NIug was suspended, and the crowd OF reYeiers
= stood not on the order of their going, but went
out of the windows back door and down the cellar
steps. and the saloon in moment was as quiet as