The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-02-11

SCRAPS.

II "A legal tender-A lawyer mind
ing his baby.
i The best substitute for coal
Warm weather.
: A boarding establishment - A
carpenters shop.
s1staking a hack the first stage of
consumption? : ..
What has cat that nothing else
has? Kittens.
:: A bad egg is not a choice egg,
but is hard to beat.
:: An English lecturers says there
is no American Punch. Isn't there,
though? d: :
No one will be surprised that a
New York daily has A-shante cor
respondent.
All the Nevada editors are going
mad. There hasn't been a shoot
ing affray for a month. 80
The feelings of Mr.. Eng when
Mr.. Chang died, we should presume
were not to be enyied.: -
The Government has ordered a
Parrot from the East Indies. lie
is admiral in the navy. = ,
Dakota has been doing sums and
finds that:she has only three-eighths
.iof white man to an acre Of
ground.
J; Cooing is we'll enough before
marriage, but the billing doesn't
come till after; sand. then it comes
from the tradesmen.
s St. Louis's ,wickedest man has
died and gone to Chicago. His
successor will be selected by CON-
petitive examination.
Young lady Fat the post-of6ce).-
eff I don't get a letter by this mail,
i want to know what he was doing
Sunday, that's ALL
Mrs. Southworth has done nov
el for every State in the Union, and
now proposes to do one for each
Territory before she dies.
There is man at the Kittery
Navy Yard who has whistled con-
ainuouslv for nine years, and why
somebody has not killed him is a
mystery.
~ "Mono-poets" is the new name
for persons who write but one verse
and then die. This isn't the kind
.of poet that sends pieces to the pa
;pers. -, -: :.j..s...: ..- =,
j Mayor Mcdiu writes from Paris
that nobody in that city drinks wa
ter that can possibly avoid doing
so. Hence, Chicago man feels
perfectly at home. :. =.
80, George, your sister is nice
girl, but she does dress her head up
3d." eyes," said George; "but it
sis the fashion there's nothing i'll
it, you know" c..,,.
!" A California paper, having re-
ceiyed q. new subscriber, records
the startling fact in a halfcolumn
article, headed :"Still another! Our
course iudorsed by the people,
t-"'"Who goes:a "a borrowin',, goes al
sorrowin':%S. More often it is the
other way ups Who goes lendin
too often goes sorrowin', while he
who goes borrowin' rot unfre-
yquently goes on his way rejpicing1
at his dexterity. :,.- g.. =
Z. A Chicago correspondent de-
clares that all gentlemen of elegant
leisure and aristocracy in Iudianap.
oils, are colored, lie will have to
,'"keep dark in that city himself in
Cue tuIuTe. III
E Twenty-seven Nashville ladies
determined to practice economy i
vowed not to wear anything more
expensive than calico dresses toE
church; and they stuck to it, as
none Of them have been to church
since: fs-::''
: A man left bony steed on Main
street last Saturday, and, coming
back a short time afterwards, dis
covered, that a funny youth had
placed a card against the feshless
ribs bearing this notice, Goats
:fwanted-inquire within.'
y The most confding woman lives
in Providence. She went. to an
auction, and, knowing the preva-
1ence of thieves at such places, asked
a nice looking man to take care Of
her pocket-book, containing eighty
five dollars. He is still taking care
OF IT, ,,,;.. !: -; i,.>.
It isn't always best to call things
by their right names. A. young
gentleman called a coach dog a
.Dalmatian hound, and was inform
ed by his finance that if he could
not refrain from profanity in her
presence, they mnst henceforth be
strangers. d"
This love story comes from the