Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-09-24
THE BAD BOY.
BY "M. QUAD"
CHAPTER I

CHAPTER I.
interchangeable name was John
Anderson Thomkins, and was going
on thirteen years old. He had freok-
les all over bis nose; chawed plug to-
bacco and loafed around select
schools, and put "tin ears on the
boys smaller than himself. His faith
er was killed by Canadian saw log,
his only sister slept in the silent
tomb, and his mother divides her
time between gossipping and can
wasting for money for the heather in
Africa.
CHAPTER II.
Thusly Thus it will be seen that
there was no one to give John An.
derson Thompkins any domestic at
tention beyond an occasional whack
with slipper, which made him the
worse. He wasn't sent to school,
never had to take o dose of castor
oil, was allowed to go around with q
letter in postoffice, and his pants
supported by magnificent belt of
sheep Irvine, and if he wasn't home
by ten o'clock at night, his mother
felt perfectly sure that he would
dump down somewhere and be home
in time for Goldfish and potatoes in
the morning.
CHAPTER III.
Shameful Neglect.-John Ander~
son Thompkins' mother never took
him on her knee and asked him if he
knew what was beyond the bright
stars, and if he knew where he'd go
to if be grew up an awful liar, and
horse thief She never told him
about the Children of Egypt, Moses
in the bull-rushes, or Daniel in the
lions den, and it is no wonder that
he grew up to be bad boy. She
didn't never have sticking-plaster
ready when he got cut, and on Sun
day morning there was no one to rub
him behind the ears, fill his eyes with
soap water, and comb his hair the
wrong way.
CHAPTER Nv.
His Peculiarities. - Everything
which happened in the village, was
laid to John Anderson Thompkins'
door; ats some of that boys
work." whenever bushel of plumbs,
a watermelon, or peck of peaches
mysteriousIy disappeared. He was
probably guilty of everything charg-
ed, as when be died they found where
be had hidden seventeen stolen cow
bells, forty axes, ever so many saw
bucks, fifteen or twenty front gates,
and | can't remember how many
snow shoes.
CHAPTER v.
Down on Him. In time, as the
reader was informed ia previous
chapter, the adult male population of
the village got down on John Ander-
son Thompkins. Old maids jabbed
at him with umbrellas, merchants
flung pound weights at him, shoe.
makers dosed him with strap-oil, and
grocers always looked out for John
Anderson Thompkins when they
wanted to heave out bad eggs or
spoiled fruit.
CHAPTER vi.
His Ambition.-You may think
that they would have eventually sue
ceeded in breaking the boys spirit
and dashlng his hopes, but they
could't do it. He had an ambition
which nothing could check.-He
wanted to be bold pirate and sail
on the raging main, and he was
patiently waiting for the time to come
when he could wear No. 10 boots,
and swear in q voice like the chorus
of bass viol. He would be content
to crawl into hen roosts, and to creep
around horse barns for few years,
but then-but then
CHAPTER VII.
Efforts to Reform. Some Of the
more philsnthropic citizens made
strenuous efforts to reform the boy.
They locked him up in smoke-houss
for a week; they dubbed him till be
couldn't yell, aud they held him I'M
der q pump until he was as limp as
rag, but as soon as they let him go,
he went right back to his old habits
again.
CHAPTER VIII.
Nearing his End.-John Anderson
Thompkins had kept the thing up
for eight or nine years when our
story opens, and he was nearing his
end. Justice over takes the guilty
sooner or later, and justice was lying
low for this bad boy. He had the
cheek to believe that he would live to
be hundred years old, but be was
to be taken down q peg or two, and
his mother left an orphan.
CHAPTER TX.
The End.-One day, while in the
hey day of his wickedness, John An
derson Thompkins came upon some
thing new in the limo of plumber. Il
was q pile of little cans labelled,
"nitro- glycerine hands off-dsnger-
Gus. &C." but be couldn't read and
didn't care copper. He carried
can behind the Westinghouse and
sat down on a rock to open it.
There wasn't any guardian angel
around to tell him that he'd ''get
busted" If he fooled with that can,
and so he spit on both hands, and
| gave it o whack with q stone.
CHAPTER X.
Obituary.-The folks all ran out,
and after a good deal OF trouble, they
found, and separated the pieces of
Westinghouse from the pieces of boy,
and got together enough of John
Anderson Thompkins to fill cigar
box and answer as the basis of the
funeral. They buried the remains