The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1874-05-30
2Jniscellaneous.
IOnpkins' Boy.

| Tomnkins' boy raised his hand to heaven and
swore revenge-none of your common revenge
| but the regular, dime novel sort. This is how
| it all happened.
| Tompkius' boy had scalped Browns cat, and
wore the feline trophy in triumph in his belt
He had been reading fractional currency liter
ature, and this was the result. Last week he
/ was a pirate, and hung thirteen cats to the
| yard arms. This week he began his career as
an Indian scout by cutting up his fathers per
forated buckskin undercothes for an Ind an suit,
| trimming it with beads from his mothers vel
vet cloak, while her new bonnet was demolish-
| ed to secure the ostrich feathers for his head
| dress.
| This was perilous week Tor the children Of
the neighborhood, and if boy ungarded by his
father, ventu.ed out, Tompkins' boy, skulking
behind some tree, whizzed an arrow at his head /;
while dogs were mercilessiy treated as wolves,
and cats were panthers. 1t is astonishing how
lively boy OF an aspiring mind can make a
neigh hborhood. But all these noble aspirations
were lost upon Brown he was man who read
the Bible and taught class in the Sunday
school and how could he be expected to appre-
ciate the romantic sentiments of dime novel
Brown was standing at his wood pile the
other evening at sundown, when be was start
led by war whoop the other side, and there
was Tomp pkins' boy in Indian suit and red paint
drawing bead with bow and arrow on his ii ne
Brahma rooster; and Just as the chicken flop
ped over, Brown got around on the other side
and got Tom pkins' boy by the ear. Now Brown
was not violent man to pull boys hair all
out and jayhawk him around he possessed
great patience, and he just quietly got Tomp
kins' boy by the ear and stood him on the ends
of his toes, while that ear stretched out like
piece OF India rubber that had been warmed
in the fire, and he talked with him quietly
about his depravity, and pleaded with him to
abandon his bloodthirsty life and let his .ambi-
c,t,, loo 10 fha
walks of politics. Brown then changed off and
took fresh lift on the ear with his left hand,
while he drew out bible from his pocket and
read the sermon on the mount to Tom pkins' boy.
This reading did not interest Tompkins' boy,
his attention was more particularly drawn to
the nicety with which he was balanced on his
toes by the aid of his ear; but the most pleas
ant things grow tiresome at least, and the nov
city of his position wearing off, he said he had
to go home, his supper was ready, and his moth
er wanted him to pick up some chips for her;
so Brown gave him catechism and some tracts,
and let him down slowly, so the effect would
not be too sudden on him, and, as Tompkins'
boy went home that ear stood up in the moon
light like finger board at the crossroads, and
old Tom pkins has to hang two-pound weight
on it to draw it down to its place.
That night Tompkins boy walked the floor
and swore revenge. Dad blast the Browns
he'd murder them all, and hang their scalps on
the garden fence to dry Yes, he'd kill the
baby, too, it had no business being Brown.
The next evening, as Brown came home IN
the moonlight he felt dull thud and sharp
pain in the calf of his leg, and, stopping down,
he pulled out sharp spike nail tied on to the
end of stick, and when he Strengthened up he
was under the necessity of pulling another out
of the back of his neck. They came thick and
fast, and kept him busy pulIing them of his
back and arms, while two of them went through
his new silk hat. He did not know what it all
meant until he saw that they were arrows, and
then the way he went for that Tompkins boy
was lively. After a long search he found him
in the fence corner, and the fun began. For
tunately Brown had little rattan cane with
him. He took Tompkns boy by the nape of
his neck and the seat Of his pants, and laid him
across the top rail of that fence, and as every
whack came down, Tompkins' boy jumped six
teen inches high. Browns dander was up, and
it was the hottest engagement Tompkins boy
was ever in, and made him so sore he'll have to
sit down some way for the next week. Brown
took all those noble aspirations out of him, and
now he will never be fit for anything but
Street Commissioner, and Brown had to tie on
nine pounds of fat bacon to save himself from
the lock-jaw