The Portland daily press., 1874-01-21
THE PRESS.
MORNING, JAN. 81. 1874
Gossip and Gleanings.

Gossip and Gleanings
Those who have never learned to swear
should be careful how they venture about the
streets, just now.
When will it stop?-tbat paragraph about
the ''open winter" 1t is making everybody
wish the winter would come to a ''close"
is 1884 yards; an English or Statute mile,
176O yards; German, 1905; Turkish. 1925.
An acre is 1910 square yards, or 80 yards,
l foot. 81 inches each way. A square mile,
1760 yards each way, containing $40 acres.
A legal stone weighs IA pounds, or the
eighth Of hundred, in England, and 16
pounds in Holland.
The Fathom, (six ieet, is derived from the
height of full-grown man. A hand, in
horse measure. is four inches.
That old and graceful dance, the mruet,
is being revived by fashionable teachers in
New York.
He who brings ridcule to bear against
truth finds in his hand blade without hilt
more likely to cut himself than anybody
else.
There was room with eigh: corners. In
each corner sat cat; before each cat sat
seven other cats, and ON each cats tail sat
cat. How many cats in all.
A young lady at Winchester lately called
upon Photographic artist, and asked him
to take her picture with an expression as if
composing poem.
Brown, the other day, while looking at the
skeleton of donkey, made a very natural
quotation. "Ah," said he 1--WE are fearfuly
and wonderfully made"
AT the last day st. Peter will call Rubin
stein. and say, "Play that piece by Schuman
thou didst perform at Florence" Then the
shade OF Rubinstein will sit down to shad-
owy pianoforte, and at the crash, the dead
WiA wake t-1CuttUU f>QpGT.
Marriage is like flaming candle-light,
| Placed in the window a summer night,
| Inviting all the insects Of the air
To come and SINCE their pretty winglets there.
Those that are out butt heads against the pane;
Those that are in butt to get out againI
.l
What right has any person, endowed with
| an ordinary share of intellect, and blessed
with respectable share of good health, to
despond? What is the cause of desponden-
cy? What is the meaning of itp The cause
is weak mind.
| wealthy parvenu lately gave the church
which be attends two tables of stone, with the
ten commandments engraved upon them;
whereupon a member Of the church r mark
ed that his reason for giving the command
meuts was that he couldn't keep them.
The Governor of Wyoming winds up his
Thanksgiving proclamation in this style:
''Give thanks unto the Lord, for his mercy
endureth forever. III witness whereof have
hereunto set ray hand aud caused the great
seal of the Territory to be affixed" etc.
| 81 suppose" said physician. smiling, and
trying to be witty while feeling the pulse Of a
patient who had reluctantly submit tied to So
licit his advice, 81 suppose you think me
bit OF a humbug." "Sir," gravely replied the
sick man, 81 was not aware that you could
discover man's thoughts by feeling bis
pulse"
A man went into butchers shop, and
finding the owners wife in attendance, in
the absence of her husband, thought he
would have a joke at her expense, and
said: Madam, can you supply me with a
yard ofpork?" "Yes, sir" said she. And
then turning to boy, she added, "James,
give that gentleman three pigs feetp'
Break break! break!
| o shell that imprisons me.
Hatch! hatch! hatehi
Il. chicken that Is to be-"
| And the old hen wearily goes
| 10 her nest just unde the hill,
| To wait for the "Peepv of the coming chick,
! For sound Of the voice that is still.
These verses hetray genius-genus some
how or other is always being betrayed.
Jere johnson, Jun., noted auctioneer of
AY-- p