Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-07-30
How She Travels.

The train leaves at precisely 9:S0-at
9:15 she is before the glass pulling down
the short curls under the brim of her
new hat, and wondering if there will be
time to curl over the little wisp of hair
on her left temple. 1t is so damp this
morning she is sure it will never stay in
curl until she gets there, and dear Mrs
Browns son Charlie is such an admirer
| of curls!
PeremptOry call of:
" Carriage at the door, ma'am, scant
time! Hurry upr'
Oh, dear! what does make hackmen in
such hurry? Where's her veil? and her
| gloves, and her parasol?
The escort, meanwhile, has converted
! himself into pack mule, and staggering
under the weight of her few necessary
things is trotting his toes impatiently on
the hall OiLcloth, and wondering what
does make women so long getting ready!
She comes down at last, all smiles and
apologies With her foot on the car
riage step she discovers that she must
have her crochet needle, and some
worsted, and the pattern of her cousin
Fanny's tidy.
She goes back for them. and takes a
| parting glance in the mirror, and hurries
out with the worsted trailing behind
her
She buttons her cuffs in the carriage,
and gets her escort to put the crochet
needle in his pocket, where presently it
will work loose and stab him in the re-
gion of the pit of his stomach; and she
gets on her veil and feels in her pocket
to see if she has got her porte-monnaie,
and by that time they are at the depot.
The train is there before them There
is no time for tickets. The escort stun
bles on board as best he can, making a
futile attempt to assist his companion.
He drops some packages as he makes his
advent into the car, for the train starts
just as he reaches the door.
The treacherous paper bursts, and the
lunch, and the Florida water, and dressing
Sacque roll on the floor.
He picks up the sandwiches and dough-
nuts as If they were counterfeit money,
and huddles that sacque out of sight as
quick as possible.
She looks on, and wonders why men
will be so awkward.
The bundles all fixed, they settle them
selves on seat together She wants the
window open. 1t is so close in the car.
He opens it. Then she wants it shut
because the cinders get in her eyes He
shuts it.
Then, won't he please count her bun
dies, to make sure that they are all there ?
He counts. Then she must have the
window open again. She is sutfocating.
He opens it. Then she wonders if this
is really the 8 80 train. Yes, he tells her.
Is he sure that it is the right road Quite
sure.
Does he think the boiler will be likely
to burst? oh, no. 1t never burst in the
world! 1t is the safest boiler on recordl
Then those railway car nuisances, the
peddler boys, begin to come. She pities
them, they look so threadbare, and she
buys something every time-oranges, ap-
Piles, peanuts, bags of popped corn, pho
| tOgraphs, prize stationery packages, and
| so on. Her escort has to find pockets to
put them in
And by this time the bundles have to
| be looked over, and just as she has set
| tied herself to read they reach their
| journeys end, and the difficult process
| of disembarking takes place.
| We draw curtain over it. Every gen
tleman, who has ever travelled with a
lady, knows all about it!-Kate Thorn, IN
Nee0 York Weekly.