Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-12-11
HI MOKOUS.


to Welding it up. One noble-hearted zen
tleman has supplied Us at the Office. but
there are no more indications Of fuel around
our residence than there are of good crop
on the Sahara. Are things always to re-
main thus
Christopher Smith Of Cincinnati angu:shes
in 4 dungeon. lie wooed and won the
daughter Of an opulent merchant, but. alas
for the bright hopes Of youth, she was only
sixteen, and the law did not permit Eyange-
| line Maria to marry until She was Of age.
What could he do? lie could not lie: to
] beg lie was ashamed bot love, which
laughs at locksmitis. came To his aid 50 he
told his Dulcinea 10 put the figures eighteen
in each Of her shoes, and stand thereupon.
Happy thought. She was ''Oyer eighteen. 9"
\ jury, assisted by the stern parient, are
now investigating the case. The course Of
true love, etc.
\ long. iank specimen Of humanity dropped
in at Tommy IIeiirJn's eating-stand, at the
Palace Saloon, night before last, and ordered
and ate ten dozen oysters. This caused
Tommy to open his eyes somewhat, but
when the man ordered and actually ate, on
top Of the oysters, a p0iter-house steak smOth-
aghast. This man was abou. such an eater
as typo We once knew, and one who Is
now in san Francisco. lie closed out half
q dozen eating-hOuSeS one after the other
heard the sheriif-and at last fastened himself
upon an unsuspecting Frenchman. The
fourth morning, on going for his breakfast,
he found a crowd about the door of the
treuchman's eating-house. Whats the
matter o. said our typo, Sheriff got the
place ?" - No said Il bystander, - the
frenehman has cut his throat" Hearing
this, the hungry printer departed feeling
very guilty.-lTgHia EHfTprise.
\ Mr. Harris Of Baltimore took his light
el pipe To bed with him not long ago, which |
he viii no doubt regret the longest DAY Of
his lie, having been found next morning !
burned to death. Smoking and Sleep
ing are two things which no man should !
attempt at the same time. until he has had
several years Of constant practice.-Louis-
riHe Cow7cr-Jomnal
Was he pleased that i the question
1t recent lecture yodag man read a fine
essay. On his way home from the hall he
heard one lady remark to another, as be
walked behind them, - Wasn't that
fine - Yes, was the reply; - but what
mean-lookins little wretch the lecturer
was -
i Lafayette Ind) man, Just a he was
approaching the shining shore, took his
wife hand and said Susan. YOU We leen
4 good wife We've lived together thirty
two years. and never found a button off nv
shirt III speak good word for YOU a.
soon as git thar
\ Tennessee lawyer who res0rtei to the
insanity dodge on behalf of his regro client,
and exnatiated at some length upon the ah-
solute idiocy of the poor fellow. met with
some opposition from the darkey himself.
who exclaimed. - 'Yoa can hang me, or send
me to lie peuitenchry. or say l'Se a rascal,
but. mister. please don't say Use fool
agen''
There were yesterday lying upon the side
walk in front of this office several thousand
pounds of new type, all packed away In
small wooden boxes. These were to be car
ricd to the fourth story of the Enterprise
I huildinc. and some Piute Indians, who were
/ loaiine about in front Of the business Office.
were told that they could have the job ii
/ they were ION the work After being told
all about where the boxes were to be carried
70. the Iulians turned their attention to the
/ boxes themselves These looked 30 small
that they thought the job would be mere
play \ Stapping big buck at last stepped
up 10 one Of the smaller boxes, and laid hold
I OF il as though with the intention of tossing
it on his shoulders at the frs, pass. The
/ box NJ more moved than if it had been frozen
10 the sidewalk. The self-c0mplacent smile
which had moment before irradiated the
red man : countenance gave place To look
I Of urnfound establishment. =" W hO0-OOOp,
said he, A. he backed away from the box u
/ the distances Of some PAGES. Oo-Oo-ee
one d-n big little boxes lle then jab-
hered awhile in his own native lingo, and
halra dozen other Indians came forward,
and one after another took hold of and
lifted the end Of the box. They then tried
all the other boxes. and finding them all
alike. gave it as their opinion that they
were the biggest little boxes" they had
ever seen. The noble red-men thereupon
scorned the job a. utterly beneath their
dignity. and went their way.-'rgiHid C"y
Enterprise.
We find in an exchange the following
which contains more truth than poetry ;
There Is nothing more distressing 10 the re-
norter of the peried than to know something
and not be permitted to tell of it. Its 50
entirely foreign to his nature, in such direct
contrarietv to the noblest impulse OF his
heart to have something really startling
transpire. to be told Of it in confidence, to
receive il as a secret, with the injunction to
keep it safely within his own heart. &c, to
have his mouth sealed against the public, and
then to be robbed of all the supremest JOY
that falls to his lot.
\ married Englishman in Paris lately be
came desperately enamored OF an actress,
who in turn was in love with set oil dla-
,oonds in the Rue de Ia Paix. The lover,
however. thought 10000 francs too dear,
offered the ieweller II, 200 francs. The lady
then called privately on the jeweller, and
offered 10 nav the difference, on the eondl-
ton that the gentleman have them at ms
, nrice which was agreed to. Next day the
Eprlishman purchased the gems at his price,
but ON his way to his hotel met TREND,
who ridiculed and shamed him into start
- inc at once to London, with the jewels as
a nresent to his wife. The jeweller has
since presented his bill for G000 francs to the
actress.
When Verdi was putting the last touches
to s.Il Trovatore," he was visited in his
D study by privileged friend. The friend
: was one of the ablest of living musicians and
critics. lie was permitted to look at the
E score and run over the Anvil Chorus" or
the pianoforte. ''What DO you think O
= that ," said that the master. Trash :
? said the eonnoisseur. Verdi rubbed hi
F., hands and chuckled. 80 Now look at this
e and;this.' he went on. Rubbish. SAID thu
other, rolling cigarette. The composer
e rose and embraced him with burst oil JOY
L % What DO you mean" cried the critic
c MY dear friend" replied Verdi, =" hav'
5 been making popular opera. In 1t | re
L solve to please everybody except the puris's
o the great Judges, the classieists, like you
II Had pleased you, should have pleased n
:; one else. What you say assures me OF sue
d cess. In three months ii Troyatore WI
e be song, and roared. and whistled and barrel
u % organed all over Italy"
a The corner loaier who sits on the curt
,e isstone and whistles % Am | soldier ot tn
a, cross !" for two mortal hours while the a.
1t tumn winds sing up his pants legs. shoul
e, find out pretty soon and it he is, moth.
Is breaking her back at the wash.tub In bacl
r. yard. will probably benefit thsreby.-Tsr'
I'd Haute Express.