The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-10-03
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

There is 4 Chicago medium who can pou>
blazing oil over her face without harmng her
self, because she is possessed by the spirit of al
Indian girl who was frozen to death. She would
better 90 about lighting fires with Kerosene fol
young women who haynt congeatcd ri Ute foI
a guardian angcl.-Chicago Courier
Two Rochester men rowed boat around in q
circle for three hours under the idea that they
were going down the bay and yet Rochester is a
temperance town,-Er.
We have an easier way thar that here TO tell
when fellow is drunk. We merely bring him
in the presence Of his mothcr-in-law. He never
lies to her.
ASt. Louis obituary closes thus
He leaves Il wife and five children, but had Il
suit for divorce pending in the Circuit Court
Er.
The suit for y divorce was at least one mitiga-
ting circumstance in his favor.
An Albany ioon-keepcr keeps clubs and
stones on the counter, SO that his customers
won't throw his tumbers at each other.
The Lowell (Mass.) mill girls have novel way
Of getting rid Of any male emplOye who happens
to be obnoxious to them. They rush at him in
groUpS and kiss him, and keep up this treatment
until the poor fellow is forced to leave.-Er.
We shall apply for a position in that mill at
once. Wen bet we couldn't be forced by such
sweet manguycr5 az those. We could stand it as
long as the girls could, and some over
The advice contained in the following comes
TOO late:
It will save you from thousand ills
To die when you are young;
II you 70 before you cat Your teeth,
You'll never bite your tongue.
the following verdict: I'VE, the jury find that
the deceased was fOol.'-Er.
The same verdict could be truthfully found
against good many jurics.
SAYS thr Milwaukee Sentinel: THEY have had
game called kiosingcroQuct at Oshkosh. A
girl is allowed to move her ball six inches every
time shc kisses a fellow. From the market re
ports we see that trade in tspcmcasures is
active
1t Is cxpectcd that the invitation to the com
munion table at Plyrouth church will hereafter
conclude with, gentlemen are requested to
leave iheir pistols in the pcws when thcy come
forward"
Cairo girl has just rejected a sutton because
his arm wasn't long enough to 90 round her. She |
says ii she is going to have lover at all she |
llleailS Io nave Il perfect nl.--I.I.
The F. Paso Journal does an item on the State
Fair The fair was doubtless attended by more
swndlers and bad women, than any that has ever
been held in the United States. The Journal
says
The pick pockets did not reap as rich n harvest |
as was expected. They figured on two hundred
watches, but fell short thirty. One hundred andi
seventy includes the lot,
And adds;
Policeman SchatIer has been remarkably sue.
ccsSful in the capture OF burglars and pick-po
cts during fair week. When he captures the one |
he is now after and two more he will have cap.
tured three. a. |
And concludes:
1t was remarkable to see what attention our
Peoria boys showed the strange, unprotected /
female visitors Quarters were found for all of
them, which speaks volumes for the Peorians.
at is no harm for Gods Lambs 20 play to. |
gcther" so Bccchcr told Mrs Tilton.
Yes. But scriptures don't always hit every
case Here was 4 case of u lion lying down with |
a lamb, and when Bcechcr got up where was
thc-lamb:
Joliet sports an enthusiastic boot black, who,
in a moment of rccklessncss during the meeting
of The board of supervisors, last week, undertook
to shine up a pair of suburban brogans The |
supc-otherwise supervsor-rwatched the rub
bling process for some time, and there being no J
visible result he remarked: Your backing don't
appear To be very good, sonny" Blacklng's all
right" replied the incOrrigiblc. al haven't got
round in sight yet."-JOlict san
Henry Ward Bcechcr delivered an address at
Vermont fair Tuesday. The report saws he looked
splenddly," but would not allow himself to be
lionized wherein he showed his good sense
Dixon Telegraph.
Prezactly! Bcecher is familiar with the fable
Of the ass in the Hons skin,-thats why he didn't
want 10 be iionized.
I'm eastern doctor figures it out that an aver.
age woman will she'd barrel Of tears in forty
years
This last We can believe, for we've seen 'em