The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-09-25
NUMBER q.
Babies.
WHAT HIS ENCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR OF
MICHIGAN THINKS Or THEM.

WHAT HIS ENCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR OF
MICHIGAN THINKS or THEM
The Kalamazoo (Mich.) Agricultural
Society, having arranged for a baby
show ut their coming Fair appointed
Governor Bagley one of the committee.
Having advised the Governor of the
honor conferred upon him, the genial
Chief Magistrate responds as follows:
STATE OF MIcHIGAN,
EXECUTIVE OFFICE, DErROIT, Aug. 5.
Frank Little, SecretdTy-De Sir
Your favor of the 9th, notifying me of my
appointment as one of a COMMITTEE on
Babies" at your coming County Fair, is
at hand. The position is certainly a
delicate, and, to a man in public life, a
dangerous one. Suppose, for instance,
was q candidate for office; would not
every father whose baby failed 20 receive
a premium, vote square against me :?
Would not every mother whose baby
has failed TO receive the attention of the
committee use all the power of persua-
sion in inducing her neighbors to vote
for the "Other man?n Providence has
very kindly implanted in the heart of
every crow decided belief that its
"baby erown is the blacklist of all crows,
and no argument or council could ever
convince the mother crow to the con-
trary, and this is right. Were it other
wise our babyhoOd would not be the
reign of kinghoOd and queenhoOd that
it is. If our parents had not believed US
to have been the brightest and best of
the human family, and THAT we were
born to be Presidents, or ut least Con-
gressmen, we should have been drowned
like kittens before we had reached our
teens. But were / to undertake the
duty you request of me other objections
loom up before me. / do not know the
opinions of my fellOw-members of the
Committee OH Babies" | should want
to know what sort OF babies they have
had if they've had any. / want to know
whether they like fat babies or lean
babies, whether blue-eyed or black-eved,
gray-eyed or hazel-eyed, boys or girls,
blondes or brunettes. Above all, / should
like to know whether they like babies
at all. do not suppose for a moment
your society would have been so careless
as to select committee any member of
which did not like babies, yet you may
have done so. If by accident you have,
then you have spoiled the job. Icouldn't
serve with any such person. Their
judgment wouldn't be worth a straw.
Again, l want to know if there is any
member of the committee who never
owned baby of his own. I should
most certainly object to serving with
any such unfortunate individual. What
would he know aboubt babies? How
much weight would his opinion have OIL
the important question of which wa;
the "finest and handsOmest baby nOt
exceeding eighteen months Of age?n
decision made by such a one would be
laughedGt hy every mother in Michigan
/ have several babies of my own. Some
of them are too old to be called babies
by the outside world, bat 20 me they are
and ever will be babies. Now, | try tC
be fair and decently honest in my judg-
ment of men and things, but when il
comes to babies, can't do it; | know
can't; / shall be making comparisons
constantly, keeping my own babies be-
/ fore me rs q standard of excellence. II
/ is of no use. | can't serve and do my
duty to myself, my wife, my babies, my
State, my neighbors, and my prolific
| fellOw-citiZens of Kalamazoo county.
] Your friend, JOHN J. BAGLEY.