The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-11-13
BILL AND THE WIDOW.

BY j. a. SMITH, ALIAS CAPT TOTHERBY.
Wife, said Ed. Wilbur one morn
| ing as he sat stirring his coffee with one
hand and holding plum cake on his
knee with the other, and looked across
the table into the bright eyes of his
neat little wife, 4" wouldn't it be q good
! joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take
Widow Watson TO BarnUm's show next
week?"
You cant do il. Ed; he won't ask
her he's so awful shy. Why, he came
here the other morning, when I was
hanging out some clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke; but when I
shook out a night-goWn he blushed like
girl and went away
:" / think / can manage it, said Ed
"but I'll have to lie just little. But
then it wouldn't be much harm under
! the circumstances, for I know she likes
him, and know he done dislike her
! but as you say, he's so shy. I'Il Just 90
over to his place to borrow some bags of
him, and if I don't bag him before I
come back, don't kiss me for a week,
Nelly" .-.f ...s f--
So saying, Ed. started, and while he
Is moving the fields, we viii take look
at Bill Smiley. He was rather a good
! looking fellow, though his hair and
whiskers showed some gray hairs, and
! he had got a set of artificial teeth. But
| everyone said he was a good soul, and
| SO he was. He had as good a hundred
! acre farm as any in Norwich, with a new
! house and everything comfortable, and
! if he had wanted a wife, many a girl
would have jumped at the chance like
a rooster at grasshOpper. But Bill
was so bashful-always was-and when
! Susan Berry rybottIe, that he was sweet on
! (thOugh he never said ''boo" to herr got
married 10 old Watson, he just drawed
In his head like a nud-turtle into his
! shell, and there was no getting him out
| again, though i6 had been noticed that
| since Susan had become widow he had
! paid more attention to his clothes, and
/ had been very regular in his attendance
| at the church where the fair widow at
! tended. n D. ezss7
* But here comes Ed. Wilbur"
Good morning, Mr.. Smiley T.
GOOD morning, MIR. Wilbur. What's
1 the news your way?"s tah
'Oh nothing particular, that know
/ Of" said Ed, f'only Barnum's show
that everybody is talking about, and
everybody and his girl is going, too. I
was over to Sackrider's last night, and I
see his son Gus has got q new buggy
and was scrubbing up his harness, and
he's got that white-faced colt of his as
slick as a seal I understand he thinks
of taking Widow Watson to the show.
He's been hanging around there a good
! deal of late, but I'd Just like TO cut him
out, I would. Susan is nice little wo-
man, and deserves a better man than
4 that young pup of fellow, though I
wouldn't blame her much either if she
takes him, for she must be dreadful
! lonesome, and then she has to let her
! farm out on shares, and it isn't half
/ worked, and no one else seems to have
! spunk enough to speak up to her. By
! jingol If was a single man I'd show
\ him trick or two.''-E zasrv a.-
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
| and started around the corner of the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and put his ear TO knot-hole and lis
/ tened, knowing that the bachelor had a
habit of talking to himself when any
! thing worried him.
"Confound that young Bagrider p
said Bill, what business has he there.
I'd like to know. Got a new buggy, has
! he? Well, so have I, and new harness,
too and his horse can t come in sight
| of mine, and declare I've half a mind
! to-yes, will I'll go this very night
and ask her to go to the show with me-
/ I'll show Ed. Wilbur that I amt such a
calf as he thinks am, if I did let old
Watson get the start of me in the FIRST
! placer EEE1EEsa arc E8
Ed. could scarcely help laughing out
| right, but he hastily hitched the bags
on his shoulder, and with a low chuckle
at his success, started home to tell the
| news to Nelly; and about five o'clock
that evening they saw Bill 90 by with
his horse and buggy on his Way to the
widows. He logged along quietly,
thinking OF the old singing school days
and what a pretty girl Susan was
| then-and wondering inwardly if he
would have more courage now to talk
| up to her, until at the distance of about
! q mile from her house he came to a
| bridge-over a large creek-and it so
| happened that Just as he reached the
middle of the bridge he gave a tre-
mendous sneeze, and blew his teeth
clear out of his mouth, and clear over
! the dash board, and striking on the
planks they rolled over the bridge and
dropped into four feet of water. gfgl
Words cannot do Justice to poor Bill,
or paint the expression of his face as he
sat tthere-completely dumbfounded at
this startling piece of i'll lu.k. After a
while he stepped ont Of the buggy, and
getting on his hands and knees looked
over the water.
Yes, there they were," at the bot
tom, with a crowd of little fishes rub
bing their noses against them, and Bill
wished to goodness that his nose was as
close for one second. His beautiful
teeth that had cost him SO much, and
the show coming on and no time to gel
another set-and the widow and young
Sackrider. Well, he must try and gel
them some how and no time to lose
for some one might come along and ash
him what he was fooling around there
for. He had no notion OF spelling his
| good clothes by wading IN with them
on, aud besides, IL he did that ht
cOuld not 60 to tine widows that night
so he took look up and down the rOad
10 see that no one was in sight, and theI
quickly undressed himself, laying hi:
clothes In the buggy to keep them clean
Then he ran around the bank and wadei
into the almost icy water. but his teetl
did not chatter in his head, he ONLY
wished they could. Quietly he wadeC
along so as not to stir up the mud an6
when he got TO the right spot he drop
ped under the water and came up witt
the teeth in his hand and replaced then
IN his mouth. But bark What nOisr