Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1874-05-22
CURRENT ITEMS.


full in only one case out of nineteen re-
ported.
WYOMING has finally decided to call its
female Justices justices of the Peaces,"
and TO fine any one who growls about
grammar.
A KANSAS girl wouldn't be married
without yellow ribbon around her waist,
and boy rode eight miles to get it while
the guests waited.
A KENTUCKY farmer says that three
good bulldogs roaming the yard nights
will do more TO keep man honest than
all the talking in the world.
A YOUNG, unmarried clergyman, of
Brookport, Pa, offers twenty cords of
wood for good wife. He retains Just
enough for crematory purposes, in case
she isn't success.
ONE-HALF the world doesn't know how
the other half lives. For the benefit of
the first half it may be stated that John
Giddey. Of Illinois, has eaten nothing but
boiled eggs for six months past He is
yolKed to his idol.
The town of North Providence, r. T.,
has only one pauper to support. This in
dividual has farm all to himself, with
carriage, horses and cattle, food provided
by contract, and poormaster and family
to take care of him.
THE Brunswicker, of Missouri, says:
"There is an undefinable something about
some men which commands our respect
whether we see them heading conquer
ing squadron or bending in lowly toll
over an onion bed"
A PITTSBURGH man sold his wife the
g. a. Ill
hand suit of clothes She heard of the
transaction before The delivery took pace,
and his neighbors say it will probably
cost him about fifty dollars to get well
again.
A MAN in the Philadelphia insane asy-
lum imagines himself a woman. He
dresses in female attire and parts his hair
in the middle. During the day he asso-
and embroidery of the finest kind.
A DANBURY house cat was cremated the
other morning. She had crept into the
kitchen oven during the night, and in the
morning got accidentally shut in. When
the oven was opened to bake the break
fast rolls her remains weighed but thir-
teen and three-quarters ounces.
In Lawrenceburg, Tenn, tax-collect-
or named Weaver killed Justice of the
Peace Green when the latter wasn't pre-
pared" On his death-bed Green vowed
that he would haunt his murderer night
and day for taking his life without fair
play" And sure enough the ghost of the
slain has driven the slayer crazy by its
constant presence. Such is the story.
We observe tendency among news
paper writers to indulge in redundant ex-
pressions. For instance, the Louisville
Courier. Journal says: "Two physicians
are in attendance, and it is thought he
recover" 1t would have been
sufficient in this case to have said simply;
+" Two physicians are in attendance."-
Neo York Mail.
A GENTLEMAN connected with the press
of this city celebrated on the I'd of May
his birthday, his wife's birthday and his
1t was the twentieth ami
When married, the joint ages of
his wife and himself were fifty years On
the last I'd of May the joint ages of his
children were fifty years. These coinci-
dences are rather remarkable Cincinnati
CONGRESSMAN LAMAR spoke like true
patriot when, in rendering the South's
tribute of respect to the memory of
Charles Sumner, he exclaimed: My
Know one another and you
will love one another" But, granting
that we possessed that knowledge, how
many of us could put our hands in our
pockets ana respond to the request for
the loan of quarter with unhesitating
confdence?-B Brooklyn Argus.
THE Chicago police have found a den
where forty boys are kept in charge OF an
Did scoundrel who is training them to
beggary. He sends them out in the
morning with the understanding that
each boy returns at night with fifty cents
Dr. partakes of dogging in default. The
ages Of the boys range from seven to ten
years, and most of them are hired out by
heir parents for one dollar a week to
heir intellectual employer.
THE girls of California seminary late
y developed a singular fancy for using
hree one cent stamps instead Of the reg
liar kind upon their envelopes. The
etters were so very plain and matter-of-
act, and the attempts at evading surveil-
ance IN the old-fashioned way grew so
carce, that one inspecting teacher inves-
igated this whim. And 10! the cunning
creatures had taken to writing tender,
emotional little epistles to their lovers
lnder the stamps.
A COUPLE of facetious drummers who
we're on train OF cars that was going
cry slowly up a sharp grade near Bur-
ington, VT, the other day. made consid-
rable fun of the conductor for the slow
ess with which the cars were moving,
nd began to amuse themselves by Jump
ng off from the rear Car and running
round the train. Soon, however, the
ars reached the top OF the hill and began
0 spin off at rapid rate. One of the
nen succeeded in jumping on, but the
ther was compelled to walk four miles to
he next station.
THE Secretary of the National Associa-
ion of Veterans Of the Mexican War has
ssued circular calling the attention Of
hose interested TO the fact that an OBJ
tacle has been thrown in the way OF
btaining pensions for the surviving vet
rams of the Mexican War by the probably
xtravagant estimate made by the Com
nissioner of Pensions of the number of
uch survivors. The circular calls for a
borough canvass of every State and Ter
itory of the Union, through the instfu-
nentality of the town, county and State
rganizations of the Association, and the
nrollment as soon as possible of the name
f every known survivor, or widow OF a
eteran of Mexico, the postoffice address,
is rank, the company, regiment, COM
handing officer Of each; term of service,
7hen and where enlisted and discharged,
nd the same to be forwarded to the First
'ecretary of the National Association of
7eterans OF the Mexican War address,
/. M. Kenaday, Lock Box No. 81,
Washington, d. co., to enable him to pre-
are the rolls for the inspection of the
Committees Of Congress before the close
f the present session, if possible. The
secretary says: "In this way only can a