The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-03-07
WIT AND WISDOM.

| WA AMI WxbOOM.
If a saloon keeper gets rich, il ia BE-
cause he makes many good bar gains.
A man was boasting that he had been
married for twenty years and had never
gwen his wife cross word. Those who
know him say he didn't dare to-
Are blackSmiths, who make a living by
forging, or carpenters, who do little cOun-
ter httlng, any worse than the man who
sells iron and steel for hviDgl
Why ia person who never lays wager
a. bad az 3 regular gambler Because he
is no better
What is the difference between farmer
and bottle Of whisky One husbands
the corn, and the other corns the hus-
bands.
An old seaman at q prayer meeting in
relating his experience, stated that when
at sea IN storms and tempests, he had Oft
en- derived great comfort from that beauti-
full passage Of Scripture, I" Faint heart new
er won fair lady"
A father in Wisconsin offered his bov
70 to take dose Of castor oil, and then
got counterfeit bill of on the boy.
Matrimony," said modern Benedict,
the other day, produces remarkable rev.
olutions. Here am I, for instance, in ten
short months, changed from assigning lover
to loving sire. I"
It's rather remarkable that while several
feet are required to make one rood a sin
gle foot properly applied, is often sufi-
ms Ia
boX-toxed boot is at the end
A chlropodist announces on his cards
that ne has removed corns from several
OF the crowned heads Of Europe"
advantage 2" 'Oh, YES, sir; but / eonld
NOT tnink OF taking advantage Of my own
father"
Here's yer nice roast chicken, cried
an aged colored man, az the cars stopped
at North Carolina railway station.
Here's yer nice roast chick'n n taters.
all nice and hot holding up his plate and
walking the platform.
Where dId you get that chicken.
uncle u asks passenger
Uncle looks at the intruder sharplv. and
then turns away, crying:
Here yer nice roast chick n. gentTm'n.
all hot needn't go in the house for dat. "
Where did you get that chicken !" re-
peated the inquisitive passenger.
Look yer, says uncle, speaking pri-
vately, is you from the de MORT r.
Yea"
Is you friend oh de culled man y
81 hope | am"
Den don't you neber ask me where 4
got dat chick'n, agin. Here's yer nice
roast chick'n, all hot"
A Mr.. Hoffman, Of Dubuque, took out
ms "lfe's false teeth before burying her,
whereupon Louisville paper remarks that
TINS was very reasonable, " because In the
world where Mrs. Fl. has gone there NAV be
weeping and wailing, but Mr.. Hoffman n
determined that, ~ far as his wife u con
cerned there shall be no gnashinQ Of
teeth"
Love and sorrow in our souls resemble
the hre IN some deep mines il may for
long time De apparently smothered. we
fancy that 1t - entirely extinguished, but
some sudden draft, some ashes dropped.
and the flames, wild and consuming, will
break Forth with redoubled fury.
young lady took her younger brother.
little boy Of three or four wears old w
church. The preacher was an earnest man.
and spoke very loud. During the sermon
she saw the little fellow in tears. and asked
him what was the matter with him He
soboed out, that man is hollering at me. "
STEPHEN GIRARD's will prohibited cler-
gymen from ever entering the doors u Gi-
rard College. At a recent visit " the
knights Templars Of Boston To the insti-
tute, one of the Knights. well-known
physician, who wears a white neck tie, was
passing IN. The janitor accosted him, say
ing; " You can't pass in here sir; the rule
forbids it, The h-ll can't replied
the physician. "All right, sir, returned
the Janitor pass right in"