The Grange advance., 1874-04-22

COCEUt-AsV".P'OUsS II
toeracy- Whisky-sslling Aristocracy.
BY A. GAYLORD sPALDING.
\ perfect. harmonious and happy
family represents society as it should be
on larger scale-as state-a nation-a
government. In such a family all is
just, equal, brotherly, sisterly. No
shirking, no monopoly, no oppression
no favored ones, no deadhea3s The
world at present, however, is luitc DIFF
ferent. Privileged classes rYvel on the
sweets of productive toll. 1he yenteel
professions are vampire nait exhaust
i've on the treasury Of the woA Ahngman.
But system Of love and philanthropy
is destined to revoldtionize this state
of things by en]ightening the working
masses
Who are deadheads? 10 be one Of
that popular class is to get your cream
and sugar, your milk and honey. your
bread and fine clothes, free OF cost
You have complimentary ticket to the
Worlds big Exposition: on the great
railroad and to all the comforts, con-
veniencies, beauties and pleasures Of
life. Isn't it charming and glorious
thus to become favored specimen Of
humanity? You are then recognized
as fashionable and respectable, and be-
long to the upper ten. True, somebody
has to dig the dire and turn the grind
stone, use the hoe and spade, and raise
the corn and wheat; but then, wasn't
the clod-hopper class throughout the
earth made on purpose for that? So it
has been since the days Of Cain.
l make no allusion now to pilfering,
cheating, stealing, burglarizing, rob-
bing, swindling, salary-grabbing, en-
bezzling, defaulting, confscating, or
extortion on a small scale or on a gov
erament big scale, for this is sometimes
slightly vulgar and criminal, and would
alone pay all the costs Of decent gov
ernment; but I mean the legitimate
rights Of the pure and innocent dead
head. That class have divine sanc-
tion.
Solomon was the wisest man that
ever lived, and of course his claim was
undoubtedly good for seven hundred
wives and three hundred concubines,
with all the gold and silver needed for
his big temple. But those poor work
ingmen who picked the stones for that
famous edi6ce, had no rights-neither
had their wives-that he was bound in
the least to respect.
David and Solomon were distin-
guished favorites of the old Bible times,
and most worthy examples for modern
deadheads. So in our day have the
system perfected on grafq pd extern
sive scale Of Democratiey< Republican,
and Catholic, Protestant. ortho@ @ox evan
gelical deadheadism-leaying \out the
extra wives-with schools to train and
qualify all nice young ladies aud gentle
men aspiring for high positions.
Professional life is the universal at.
traction, which must be delicate and
refined, and most expensively accom-
>plished. Nobody requires education to
grow potatoes, or push the plow, or do
any other productive labor. But if a
young man have comely features and a
pert mind, with some tongue and little
wit, it is quite clear that he was not
made for any common or useful pur-
pose, but for an ornament in polished
society. He must be deadhead. So
ciety is adorned with many kinds Of
that genus homo. One can take his
choice according to his peculiar fitness.
IF he possesses fair degree Of grace
and solemn sanctimouy, he is all right
for the pulpit; if noisy, clustering elo-
quence, good politician ; if straight
bold figure, with proud military gait,