davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-05-24
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES.

CUBAN VERY EXPERIENCED IN THE tt
"A bacco business, solcits cash partner to manufat
ture; good profits and references Address NJ A., DO
772 Post office.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-05-24
FINANCIAL.


A QUOTATIONS OF PRIVILEGES
I Our large purchases Of Puts" "Calls" and
Spreads" enable us to quote extremely low rates
for AL contracta We are prepared to negotiate. up
to May % at the following distances from the market
Puts Calls tor 50 shares 500 for 100 shares
spreads 500 for 50 shares 500 for 100 shares on
Z any stock for 80 days. exclusive Of commission
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

If oranges are not golden apples, and the
groves Of Florida new Hesperidcs, there are
indications that the culture of this fruit is
coming to be very profitable. A Palatka pa
per mentions that Dummitt's grove, which
only cost 81 900 per annum, yielded last year
1000 oranges for which the proprietor re-
ceiycd $11,00O; and that, with proper care,
1t would give from $4,000 $75,0 1000 yearly.
II. L. Harris grove at Palatka, yields him an
income Of $4,000 to $4,000 per anuun
Arthur Ginn's grove, at Mellonyille, of /, 100
trees, pays him si2, 900 to $751; yearly, and
is worth 100000. Mr.. DcBary; of New
York, has grove near Enterprise Of 10000
trees Mr.. Charles s. Brown, Of New York,
has one opposite Palatka of 1900 trees. 1t
will be strange if the handsome profits of the
business do not stimulate the culture of a
fruit which Is always sure of 4 near and ready
market. fs
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08
LURISG THEM on.


a Captain Of tho Pennsylvania militia who
was sent with his command in 1868, when
Lee was marching into rennsylvania to as
certain the movements Of that General. and
who ran AWAY at the sight Of squad Of dis
tant rebels, Visible only through aeld glass
and never stopped until he had put tho; Sus-
quchanna between him aud their terrlhls
muskcts. boastsd Cor uauy years aftcr 80
BIO had been the humble INSTRUMENT ~ wtA6A
Providence had compassed tho oyer3ow at
the Confederate States. q You viii admit. 4
said this modest hero, that the battle Of
Gettysburg decided the issue of the war.
The battle Of Gettysburg would never have
been fought had not Lee marched to Gcttys-
burg to fight it. You grant that. Having
thus laid secure and broad foundation for
his argument he proceeded to erect the
supcrstructure. .'You see went out to fight
Lee. He was barely over the border when /
sighted his advance guard. My natural dis
position-indced my first impulse, which I
could hardly rcsist--was to attack him. NV
men were spelling for fight. The rebels had
no idea that was not supported by an i'm
mense army, and have no doubt whatever
that could have driven the whole lot across
the Potomac without firing gun. would
after that have been the first man iii the
country--in fact, perhaps there would be a
military President to-day of another name
than Grant But what did dop / wanted
to see that army bagged and cut to pieces, not
driven away, and sacrificed myself, sir,
sacrificed fame, glory, evcrything--even laid
myself open to the charge Of cowartlice from
the vulgar. and retreatcd. Why? Because
| was afraid of Lecs No, sir--but 10 lurt
him On. ran he followed. Twas the baited
hook he was the silly fish who sought to
swallow it. enticed him into shallow waite,
and Meade netted him at Gettysburg. That's
plain enough, amt it! Yet here am, with
out even commission or pension, and jus,
look at Grant. Talk about gratitude of re
publics--bah!"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08
! ANrr- m E,,TryG.

Il
| We hear Of one manifestation Of the tenn
perance reform which exhibits what is rare
IN such movements, practical and reasoning
sense. In several Western cities associations
| have been formed, the members OF when re-
strict themselves to one pledge, not to pay
for any other mans drink aud not TO drink
at any other mans expense. This may seem
70 many 2 very limited basis of association,
but II this pledge wore strictly adhearod to,
the spread Of intemperance would be immcd-
lately checked throughout tho country. The
American habit Of treating Is the origin
OF much OF the misery and damage which
como from excessive drinking. There are
thousands of boys growing up to-day who
have no inherited thirst for liquor, to whom
the taste and smell Of whiskey are offensive,
who are destined to become drankartls mere
ly through their generosity and desire to
please. They know Of no other way of maxi
ing themselves agreeable to their acquain-
tanccs, when they meet than by asking them
to take drink, and when the same invitation
is given to them they do not know how to re-
fuse. Who has not seen these fine, rosy, rath-
or ioutish boys, Mt country fairs or political
meetings, marching UP to bars by twos and
'hrees, asking each other, (" What win you
take?" and gulping down dose of poison
which brings the tears to their eyes? When
one has paid for the drinks, each OF tho rest
feels the obligation resting upon him to re-
turn the courtesy, and the rural etiquette
obliges all to recognize the right of each to
disburse the price Of dram for the company.
In most cases not one Of them enjoys it,
They all feel the fiery stuff in their faces and
their eyes, clouding their minds and rasping
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

THE PEIILs OF MoLAssEs CANDY.-A New
ark. N. j., husband brought home hunk of
molasses candy for his wife, the other even
ing. His wife wears false teeth. The candy
was Of an adhesive nature. Size helped her.
self to a generous hunk, and planted both
teeth in it. There they remained. Strenuous
were her efforts to release them, but she was
successful. She wanted her mouth free that
she might say something to him. She wanted
to say something to him but the candy not only
prevented, but the tone of which from Its
prominent quality debauched. But she could
not get her jaws apart. Then she went to
the sink and dropped the whole mess, teeth
and candy, in basin. Again she looked at
him as If she was on the point of saying
something he would be interested 10, but
every effort was broken up and destroyed by
the orphaned jaws Imagine woman--a
direct decendent of Eve--in such fix. Think
Of tho mighty thoughts surging and battling
through her brain think of the torrents of
eloquence bursting from her throat with o
roar and striking out into the air viper /;
think Of the blazing eyes, the distcnded
nostrils, the trembling frame, the nervous
hands. Picture her thus, tearing the misera-
bic candy from the glistening teeth, and com
prehend if you can, o man the velocity with
which the teeth were slapped into their place,
and with which that wrctched man subdued
his merriment and tore out Of that house.
! Dcn5uyy NssoA
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08
JOSH BILLINGS.

but tara a;nt b,t ,,,,a,v H., 4,
aatbor nv n s - - -
ueet : ,,ro.t ,aa,n -. 49,. q. \.
like inpcl, a. arsc,.s,tass ,.nsn 49, - =
A.. s..s,.s, u, ~, "'0, suss s1o
and then Il, : o, = ~ a - - 3 5 ' s.
wttl,ont r,,,,,,, ..,.,,,.... 8. =. u
;.,t t,,,.<.s,s Is S. - 80 e 1. :.
III 81 ~ ~ ~ q Low = 8
6ns. - 8 a. = q IN '''
ae..,. ... - -..... g. Z !. + s. Is. ! 3
Il 4. a., @ .s,s. Il ~
that q -. 80 go -, , ..... s,',',
- ~ -. e -:
/ .r r.. 49,.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08
A ROMANCE or WESTERN MASSACHU-
SETS.

Western Massachusetts, has Just been tho
scene of a pretty romance in real life. Fiji
teen years ago young lady living in Monson,
Went West to teach school. In the town of
Anamosa, Iowa, she found her vocation, and
by and by a husband. He was the son of a
wealthy widow, and the happy couple set ont
early ON the matrimonial sea- each being only
nineteen years of age. Shortly afterwards
the young lady's father visited her, and being
pleased with his daughters prospects, bull
and furnished a house for her. The mothcl
of the husband gave him farm well steehet
and equipped, and no couple ever started will
brighter prospects. In short time, how
ever misnianagemcnt stripped her husband
of all his property. His pride was terribly
mortified, and he enlisted in one of the regi-
ments which was raised to put down tho re-
beliion. Soon he was reported among the
missing, and the sorrowing wife returned to
her home in Monsoon, and entered millinery
establishment. A few years subsequently she
visited her friends in Iowa, and while there
died, and she returned to her home to resume
her millinery trade. Recently letter came
to her, remailed from her old home in Iowa.
1t was from her first husband who was then
IN Texas alive and we'll. Before her prepa
rations had been completed for going to meet
her husband a hack drove up to the millinery
store and out jumped the long-lost husband.
The next evening there was a wedding at the
house of clergyman of Springfield, and his
bride was a woman who was then married the
third time, yet had but two husbands and by
the marriage Of her own father and mother
Boston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Two SoMEBoDIEs.---Ik know Somebody who
always appears to be miserable and this is
the way she contrivcd to be so--tllinking al
ways about herself constantly wishing for
that sho has not got idling her tilue fret
ting and grumbling.
know Somebody who is much happier
and this is the way she contrives to he So
satisfied with what her Heavenly Father has
judged best for her; working; caring for
somebody else beside herself, and thinking
how she can make others happy.
My little Somebody, which kind of o Some
body are you st 81
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08


A New LIST MATRIMoNIAL.--A fresh list
of weddings is called for, SO how are these fol
hy-meneal?
Sugar wedding-A marriage with an at
tcndant suite.
Wooden wedding Marrying lumbcrman.
Tin weddng-One that "pans out" well.
Crystal edding-Marrying one addicted to
the glass.
Silver misunderstanding gray beard.
Golden wedding-When the groom is a
minor and the bride little vain.
Dimond wedding--When the washings 81
are large.
And here are some others:
Sugar Notwithstanding "candid y
man.
Wooden Notwithstanding perfect
stick.
Tin wedding-One among the pansies.
Crystal wedding-Thc Glasgow ceremony.
Silver wedding-An end Of spooning.'
Golden wedding-One of the species we
like.
Dimond wedding marriage.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

North Adams has a tailor long known for
his keen, pungent wit Not long since we'll
known clergyman called at his shop with =
pair Of pantaloons, and asked him il they
could be repaired. The knight 0 the shears
unrollcd them, held them mp in most aristic
manner, carefully examined them, and replied !:
:. Yes, yes the knees are the best part Of
them" The revcrsed gentlemar saw thu
joke, smiled blandly, and gracefully bowed
himself ont
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

A firm dealing largely in coal in one of our
Western cities had in their service an Irish.
man named Barney. One day the head of the
firm, irritated beyond endurance at one Of
Barney's blunders, told him to 20 to the
Office and get his pay, and added: .'You are
so thick-headed can't teach you any thing
"Begorra,," says Barney, !" larnt wan thing
since I've been wild YET" whats that y
asked his employer. "That sivinteen hun
dred make a ton" Barney was retained.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

BLOW YOUR OWN TRuMPET.--An exchange
says: z" When hen lays an egg she cackles
1t is hen-nature." When man gets in new
stock Of goods, it is human for him to crow
over it. When the hen cackles, people know
that she has laid in some fresh stock, and feels
rather proud of it. When the merchant opens
his new styles, and blows his trumpet in the
newspapers, people know that he has some-
thing on hand that is worth advertising. -
Blow your trumpet once in while. It won't
hurt you or the trumpet either. Si4fk'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

elm Medic Tutissimus. ''--Country pratt.
tioner labout to 60 to London on, business)--
!" | shan't be more than ten days at the far-
thcst, Mr.. Fawceps. You'll visit the patients
regularly, and take care that nons Of them
slip through your fingers--or' get wcll-dus-
ing my absence !"--Punch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Hi where did ycz got them trouserss p"
asked an Irishman Of man who happened 10
have remarkably short pair Of trousers on.
got them where they grew was the in
dignant reply. "Then, by my conscience .
said Paddy, you've pulled them year too
soon Z"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

as DIR. Dwight once passed through re.
gion of very poor land, he said to the farmer,
"Sir, see your land hero is not very produce
tive" mo sir" said tho honest farmer,
"our land Is just like selfrighteousncss.' -
How is tlat?" Why, the more : man
has Of it, the poorer he isl
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Jules Verne in his last book makes rail.
way train, on its way to California, stop
while two passengers fight duel and this
same train, when it is discovered that rail-
way bridge has been carried away. merely
backs few miles, and putting on full head
of steam, leaps the chasm!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Courier Journal There is one reporter in
Louisville whose enterprise and capacity can
not be questioned. He has found where there
is woman who keeps a pet dog and kindles
her fire with coal oil, and he Is competent to
write suitable account Of either hydro
phobia case or confagrltion, when tho time
comes for which he is patiently waiting.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

A little girlremarked to her mamma, on GO
ing to bed :" am not afraid of the dark. =
- No Of course you are not" replied her
mamma. II was little afraid once, when
went into the pantry to get q TART "What
were you afraid of ! asked the mamma. ~
was afraid could not find the tsrts.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

VIII You say that there are no real stars,
because you sometimes see mcteors fall, which
for a time appear to be stars? Win ycu say
that blossoms never produce fruit. because
many Of them fall off, and some fruit which
appeared sound is rotten at tho core9 Equal
|lyabsurd is it to say there is no sncl, thing AZ
seal ssligion, because many who profess il
fall away, or prove to be hyprocrites IN heart.
-Payson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

NOTES on ADVERTISING. To dull times
apply an advertisement to the afflicted part
A sign board can't tell everything. 1t take
an advertisement to do that
All who advertise do not get rich, but pre-
| cious few get rich without it.
The world is full of Advertising yet every
one wants to SEQ what is new.
The worlds memory is short. It will for.
get you if you do not jog it frequently.
Early to bed and early to rise,
Will all be in vain If you don't advertise.
The world is sure to find out an honest man
but it will find him out great deal quicker
if he advertises.
Your advertisement Is your representative
1t need not be large or imposing, but should
be honest and respectful.
Truth may contrye to live at the bottom of
well, but it is about the only thing that can
make living in such obscurity.
1t takes three things to make advertising
pay Honest goods, an attractive advertise
mcnt and an economical medium,
The telescope seems to bring distant friends
near you the advertisement really puts you
into communication with them.
Affections sons are brothers in distress
A brother to relieve, how exqusit the bliss
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Speaking Of newspaper selections, the
Springfield Rsp4blican very truly remarks
that it takes quite as much brains to run
good pair of scissors as it does pan.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08
LIcENsED-ro DO WHAT,

BIZ JOHN PIERREPoST.
Licenscd-to make the strong man weak:
ldcensed--to lay the wise man low;
Licensed--a wite's fond heart to break,
And make her children's tears to Aow.
Liccnsed-to do thy neighbor harm;
Iicenscd-to kindle hate and strife;
Licensed-to nerve the robbers arm:
Lieensed--to whet the murderer's knife,
Liecnsed-tl,y neighbor's purse to drain,
And rob him Of his very last;
Licensed-to heat his fcverish brain,
Till madness crown thy work at last.
Lieensed-like spider for fly,
To spread thy nets for man, thy prey;
To- mock his struggle, suck him dry,
Then cast the worthless hulk away.
Licensed-whero peace aud quiet dwell,
To bring disease, and want, and woe;
Licensed-to make this world hell
And 1t man for hell below.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Is there word in the English language
that contains al the vowels there is snquss-
tionably.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

Young women should set good examples,
ssthe young men asv always ts|Qxips thepa-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-04-08

$500 - 80 1917
COUNSELOR-AT LAW
Office over Lambertvile National Bank.
Practices in all the Courts Of the State.
"a Collections will receive prompt attention.
Lambertville, Sept %, 1872. u
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
Minor Topics.
Maryland Affairs.

The Queen Annes and Kent railroad is dver-
next.
On Saturday week a dwelling belonging to
Mr.. J. o. Dugan, of Baltimore in Chester town,
Kent county, was destroyed by fire. Estimated
value of the building $500.
Mr.. Joseph Graham of Easton, Talbot county,
has an Alderney COW, from the milk of which
over twelve pounds of butter per week is made.
That is COW worthy having.
Mr. Amos X. Herr has sold three hundred and
twenty-six acres of his farm, including the dwell
ling, large barn and other improvements, near
Boonville, Caroline county, to Mr.. A. B. Max
win, of Louisville, Ky, for $4,000.
Thomas Powell an industrious laboring man,
whilst driving a heavily loaded wagon, few
miles from Berlin, Worcester county, on Satur-
day, fell down before the wheels of the wagon,
both of which passed over his body, killing him
instantly. Deceased was about thrty-two years
of age, and leaves wife and two children.
The stockholders of the Worcester county
railroad have elected the following officers
President, George W. Bishop; Directors, Hon.
J. R. Franklin, Hon. E. K. Wilson, G. W. Gov
ngton, Thomas D. Purnell, Whttingtsn Jones,
R. S. Todd, George G. Townsend, w. II. W.
Farrow, Irving Spence, James r. Purnell, P. D.
Cottingham and George w. Purnell, Esqs.
FOUND GUILrY-The trial Of Ernest Smith,
colored, indicted for committing rape on Miss
Kate Bartlett, white, at Trappe district, Talbot
county, Md, on Sunday, the 10th of april last,
was commenced in the circuit court at Easton on
Saturday week, and created considerable excite
ment in the county, the court house being crowd
ed. great many talesmen were summoned be-
fore jury was obtained. The trial was con-
tinued up to Tuesday of last week, when at its
close verdict of guilty was rendered. Smith is
about eighteen years of age, and has a bad rep
utation.-Edston Journal.
SAD AccIDENT.-On Saturday last, Morris
Dunbar, IA years fage, son of W lillian Dunbar,
Of this town, was thrown from a horse, and his
head striking the iagsone crossing in front of the
Odd Fellows Hall, his skull was fractured, and
he died in the evening. The little fellow had
mounted the horse in the hotel yard with only
a halter on him. and as he rode out the gate, q
colored boy, Dick Hutchinson, struck the horse
and made him jump. The result of this thought
less folly was the death of promising boy
bringing terrible sorrow upon father aud
mother.-Ekton D.mocrat.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
gpetial 9lotiles.
TAPE WORM
TAPE WORM.


Tape Worm removed in from 10 hours with
harmless vegetable medicine. The worm pass
ing from the system alive. No fee asked until
the entire worm, with head passes. Medicine
harmless, refer those afflicted to the residents
of this city whom have cured. At my office can
be seen hundreds Of specimens, measuring from
40 to loo feet in length. Fifty per cent of cases
of Dyspepsia and disorganizations of Liver arc
caused by stomach and other worms existing in
the almentary canal. Worms, disease of the
most dangerous character are SO little under
stood by the medical men of the present day Call
and see the original and only worm destroyer
or send for circular which will give full des-
crption and treatment of all kinds of worms, en-
close 8 cent stamp for return of the same. DR..
EFF Kunkel can tell by seeing the patient wheth-
er or not they are troubled with worms, and by
writing and telling the symptoms, &C, the Doc
,or will answer by mail. DIR. L. F. KUNkEL,
No. 259 N. NINTH ST., PmLApELpHIA, PA. (Ad-
vice at office or by mail, free.) Seat, Pin and
Stomach worms also removed.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
WATERS, New Scale PIANOS

have great power and fine singing tone. with
all modern improvements, and are the best Pi-
amos made. These Organs and Pianos are war;
ranted for years. Prices extremely low for
cash or part cash, and balance IN monthly or
quarterly payment. Secondhand instruments
taken in exchange. Agents wanted in every
county in the United States and Canada. A lib
eral discount TO teachers, ministers, churches,
schools, lodges, etc. illustrated catalogues
mailed. HORACE WATERS SON
ml6-4t 4sl Broadway, New York. Box 1867.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
NOTICE TO TAXPAYERS.

TNHE undersigned, in accordance with law
l. passed at the last session of the General As
sembly, hereby gives notice to the Taxpayers of
ST. Georges Hundred that he is prepared to re-
ceive the taxes due the State and County from
said Hundred j. II. WALKER,
Collector Of 81. Georges H.,
may 30.lm Middletown, Del
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
Waters Concerto Organs

Are the most beautiful in style and perfect in
tone ever made. The Concerto Stop is the best
ever placed in any Organ. 1t is produced by an
extra set of reeds peculiarly Voiced the effect of
which is most charming and soul-stirring, while
its imitation of the human voice is superb
Terms liberal.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06

Business Cards, Letter and Bill Heads arr
printed at the TRANSCRIPT office as neatly ant
cheaply as can be done elsewhere.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
Business Iotals.
AGUE CONQUEROR;

No QUININE, ARSENIC OR POIsoNs.
This is strong language, as physicians and
chemists have for years tried to compound a
preparation that would entirely cure Fever and
Ague without the use of strong medicines such
as qunine, arsenic and other poisons Injurious to
the system. There is no case of Fever and Ague,
Intermittant or Bilious Fevers, Congestive Chils,
Night Sweats Liver Complaints, &C., that the
"Ague Cenqueror will not cure at once and
permanently. 1t puri6es the blood, liver, spcens
and all secretory organs so etfectually that the
Chills will not return during the season, even
when persons have had them for years. Sold by
all Druggists.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06

Mackerel, Herring, Smoked Hams, Beef, Sides,
and Shoulders, Mess Pork, Lard, Cheese, Canned
Goods, &c. S. NJ. REYNOLDS.
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
Stlistellanrous.

s1s. cn s.ss. S ass sss 4. ssE
fectons of any person they choose instantly.
This simple, mental requirement all can possess,
free, by mail, for 25c. together with a marriage
guide, Egyptian Oracle, Dreams, Hints to Ladies'
Wedding-Night Shirt, &c. A queer book. Ad-
dress T. WILLIAM h co. Pubs, Phila. ml6-4t
Middletown transcript., 1874-06-06
WHEATLAND, ArRIL 25th, 1874.
TO PEACH GROWERS:

AnUho
the emo
ian two
balance
sizes fviz:
Therlrsb with
the lou Sesmana
t
rthn
lculasc
ofwh old T.
FfgDd
Richardson Robbins Del g.
T f.
Del.