The Grange advance., 1874-04-29

utterance appears over or under }he sigma
ture Of "a. Gaylord Spalding, entitled
"voices Of workingmen,' m represents
Mr.. Spalding's voice and mine:|
1 shall not. Mr.. President, in tie few
words have to say upon this question, in
troduce any new OF original argument.
shall only attempt to follow out in detail
the line Of thought presented by my pre-
decessor, and trace his positions to their
logical conclusions. which will endeavor to
do in as few words as possible. Let me quote,
$50 in our day we have the system perfected
on grand and extensive scale of Democratic,
Republican, Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox,
Evangelical, Desdheadism.' Iwant to add
to that list one other class of citizens. that
Mr.. S. doubtless forgot, viz: Unorthodor.
| But Mr.. SIS bold thrust at the schools is
just what like. l quote again, with
schools to train and qualify all nice young
ladies and gentlemen aspiring for high po-
sitions.' Mr.. President, when I think of
that young lady who taught me the rudi-
ments OF algebra, more than thirteen years
ago in Hamline University, when recall
the facts (as reported to me) that such was
her aspiration for ''hig gh positions" that
she worked nights to pay her board, and
taught subordinate classes in day time to
pay her tuition, and by uuexampled self
denial and perseverance she obtained a
liberal education, and is now high -salaried
professor in the State University Of Mime
sofa, when she ought to be washing
dishes in Mr.. Spalding's kitchen for $l5O
per week, or milking cows ana making but
| ter for somebody else at the same rate, l
say when think Of these things my blood
| boils. What shall we do about it !: Why,
| squelch the schools, Of course. ,They are
the hot beds from whence these aspiring
deadheads spring. Just to think Of all the
deadhead scholars of the ldqd! Notice,
for instance, the scientific horde who spend
their days in hammering among the rocks
and dredging the bottom Of the sea, and
searching and classifying the various plants
and animals of the earth, and peering into
the heavens with costly telescopes and pro-
ducing nothing! Vampires ! Leeches :!
Aggassiz, Hugh Miller. Isaac Newton,
Gallileo. Great Scientists: Mighty Dead
heads! Time would fail me, Sir, to speak
in detail Of all the deadheads Of this coun-
try. If ministers and saloon keepers were
the only deadheads in our beloved land,
our load would be comparatively light, but
just think Of all the office holders, the
statesmen, the lawyers, the doctors, and
the editors, horde Of leeches sufficient to
suck the life blood out Of the entire uni
verse. It is perfectly appalling. And
what is most disheartening Of all is, that
this thirst for professional life is alarming
ly on the increase, and the facilities and
inducements are keeping pace with the de-
s:res, and the good Lord only knows to
what we are coming.
This thing could have been easily
squelched" at one time, 80 far as Ameri-
ca is concerned, by just relieving the great
discoverer of this country of his head.
! Who was Columbus: i model deadhead, a
deadhead suppliant at the deadhead court
Of Spain. He embarked in deadhead ves-
sci with deadhead crew and discovered
an asylum for the whole fraternity of dead
headism the world over. He is now O.
deadhead saint in the deadhead calendar of
a deadhead church which is ruled by a
deadhead pope. Truly he WIS king of
deadheads. Nothing is more \touchiugly
beautiful than our friends ~sensk of polite
ness and the adroit manner 10 which he ex-
empts sour church and ouT minister. !"
But right here, again, f. feel obliged to
come to his rescue and save him from inad-
certainty (:) committing the very offeuse
which he seeks to avoid by granting an ex-
emption to sour saloon:'' and for myself
shall make an exception Of our editor,
which l trust will effectually shut of any
or all structures which TIE GRANGE AD.
VANCE might otherwise feel called upon to
make.
MIR. President, the present state Of things
is bad, it is ruinous, and the statement of
Mr.. S. that 1.-THE sky would not fal! if it
were wholly and forever abolished >
amounts to truism. Then let it be abol-
ished.
| Pardon me if cannot close these too te-
dious remarks without referring briefly to
another system Of deadheadism which bears
crushingly on the workiugmen, at least on