The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-06-20
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Was THE SICNAL.-The pupils of a girls school
IN Pittsburgh, out for their daily promenade,
were recently mistaken for an approaching band
Of temperance reformers. and their appearance
was the signal for general closing up of the
saloons.
OyERwORKED.-A poor family residing in Fond
du Lac, Wis, consisting Of a mar, his wife and
eleven children, recently had one hundred dollars
LETT them, and the poor, OyerwOrked woman
bought a seyenty-dolar silk dress, and has gone
to taking music lessons.
WHAT They Do.-The first thing young man
does when he sees a friend with n new hat on is
to take IL of and serenely try It on his own head
When young lady sees of her acquaintance
with 4 new bonnet, she just lifts up her nose and
serenely wonders "where the thing got that
fright"
ITs SUBLMEsT ALTITUDE.-A Western exchange
says: 1.-The gift chrome business has reached
the sublimest altitude ia Washington county
An enterpTising clergyman offers an elegant
chrome to every person who shall not miss one
OF his sermons for year.
SAUsAGEs.-A certain little five-year-old miss in
Milwaukee is very fond of sausages. a few
nights since, n she saying the Lord s PRAYER
she stopped as she repeated the petition /" Give US
this day our daily bread :" and asked, 80 Mamma
don't he give sausages, toO2' .s s...
FAILED HM.-A small boy arOse at q Sunday
school concert and began quite glibly: A certain
Feass Rhn s bis %e$arS 70 eSan to sail
him and-and fell by the roadside, and the
thOrns sPrang up and ehOked him."
VERY NER.-Two young women came very
near preventing the publication of the Pittsburgh
Leader the other day by sending package Of car
amels into the Office. Half the editorial force
went to bed with the tOothache, and the other
half spent the night in pulling their false teeth
apart.
COLD SOUP.-Ata a recent reception given by the
Lieutenant- Governor Of South Carolina, among
the delicaeies Of the season, some ice-cream in a
rather liquid condition was passed around, upon
tasting which OF the neWl ly-elected State SEN
atOrs, 90 whom ice-cream was as great rarity as
his political Office was a novelty. exclaimed,
"GOlly, chile, dis am de cOdest soup ever ate!''
The correspondent of the Chicago Inter-Ocean
is responsible for this Congressional tale: Sir
Edward Thornton. the British Minister, came
into the diplomatic gallery, and member who
spied him out was anxious that some guests of
his in the other gallery should the live lord.
So he wrote a little note, saying: THAT old
swell with the muttOu-chOp whiskers is Sir Ed
ward Thornton" and told page to take it up
stairs. The page, who had mixed notion who
the note was for, and of whom it about,
marched straight to the diplomatic gallery and
gave il 20 the '' old swell " himself. Meanwhile
VI.
hOrri6ed To it in the hands of the nobility,
snd be rushed to at the poor little page.
Did ne say anything ?" he asked soon as he
could get his breath. - Yes, SIR said the boy;
he told me to take it back to the gentleman who
sent it, and say it was very good description"
MARRYING FOR MOSEY.-An extremely sharp
and intelligent American gentleman from the
West once walked into the Office of Dr. C.. L. Jack
SON the chemist. doctor jackson, presumed"
- air . Ire
.sYes, sir - May lock the door ?" And ne
did 50 then, having looked behind the sofa and
satisfied himself that no one else was IN the room,
he placed a large bundle, done up in yellow
handkerchief. on the table and opened it, when ne
said There. doctor, look at that - "Well,
said the doctor. - see it, What do you call
that, doctor - 81 call it iron pyrites."
What? - SAID the man; &" ism that stuff gold?''
ssNO," ," said the doctor, its good for nothing;
it's pyrites' And putting some over the fire in
4 shovel, IL soon evapOrated up the chimney.
80 Well, - said tine geutlemanly man, with a woe
begone look, e. there's a widow up in our town
has a whole hill full Of that, and I've been and
married heT -
From the DAu6ury Newsl
4 Young man went into Princes saloon Friday
evening and called tor glass of liquor. 1t was
handed 10 him. and then he dropped little pow
dered maguesIa in it from 4 paper, swallowed the
whole deliberately, and. placing the glass down,
looked the attentive Prince in the eye, and said
a.. I have poisoned myself" ''What?'' screamed
the Mortified salOOn-keeper- 81 have poisoned
rnyselfl-' repeated the young man, in tragic
tone In an instant Mr. Prince had bounded to
his side. m the next instant he had him on the
doOr, aud n man sent for the doctor. The young
man struggled to release himself, and protested
that it all u jJke. Mr.. Prince was too old
and too educated 4 man be deluded by such
artifces. Immediate remedies were sent for
Some one suggested egg, and one was pro-
cured, and there being time to bother with a
gla=s, and the victim % the poison wTIthIng 10 a
degree which made holding him almost impOs-
sbe undertaking, 1t was administered IN the she'll
and 80 adrJitly broken that twO-thirds Of II went
into his shirt bosom. \ bottle Of sweet oil was
next emptied into him, hIs head was brskly rub
bed hot cloths applied 10 bis chest, and his back
warmed with a billiard cue. Then DR. Miles
rived took in the situation at glance, applied
stomach pump, and within i've minutes the facet
u iousness and other things IN that young man were
extracted On getting to his feet be instlnctvely
felt his hip pocket for hls handkerchief, and
appeared to be surprised find it there lie left
the saloon vOwing vengeance against Air. Prince
: and his anxious helpers. Bot the story Was too
much for him the next day, and he quietly disap-
peared from town.