Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-02-05

Inc NluOW Vi AOtu e"TNh't
English ppgilist, was recently hned
for not sending her children tosehool.
! A Dunbury man awoke in tho
middle OF the night to comment up
on the extraordinary fact that the
heaviest end of match is Its hight
end.
A Waterbury gentleman has
christened his daughter Glycerine.
He saws it will be easy to prefix
Nitro if her temper resembles her
mothers.
The readers is at liberty to believe
| il or not, as he pleases, that peach
tree in Missouri, being transplanted
to new soil, has taken to producing
white plums.
A gentleman named Merrlman has
had to paw l00l. in London for breach
of promise ofmarriage. suppose
that for a time he must have ielt
dreadfully mi>nomered.
Oxford, Mass, is spoken of as tho
paradise of old folks. In that quiet
hamlet there are 130 persons over 10
years old, and - of these live within
one mile of the post-ofiee.
According 10 the Church Union,
Raltimore church has had for It's pas
tor. in the order named, the Rev.
Messrs. Furniss, Bellows, Sparks
Blazup and Burnop.
An Inlian maiden is singing in OPP
era at San Francisco, which gives oc-
casion to some desperate joker TO re-
mark that she has been transferred
from "a squaw into squaler."
1t is better TO be burned after one
is dead than burned 10 death. In
Milwaukee lately the corps of a wo-
man named Martels was burned to
cinder. the candles surrounding 1t
being toppled over.
4 new era in journalist is in pros
pect at New Orleans. Seven duels
are now on the taps between the
leading editorial writers Of tba: town,
after which the survivors Will have
several old scores to settle.
The abolition of the pass system il
working finely in Illinois. The State
legislators who formerly went home
on Friday and stayed till Monday or
Tuesday now remain and attend TO
business on Saturday.
4 clergyman in Pennsylvania hav-
ing married 999 couples, there is great
competition among the bellies OF the
town as to who shall make the round
thousand, end the beaux have bard
time OF it, YOU may be sure.
Arsenic instead of salaratus is not
a good thing in buckwheat cakts. Mr..
Lewis of Wallingford, Con-, found
that this little eccentricity Of cuisine,
but for prompt remedies, has ten
dency to reduce the number ofa fam
ily.
There is a man in Dayton, Ohio.
who has confidence in human nature.
For ten years or more he has employ
ed more than two hundred men on an
average constantly, and as yet has
not discovered among his hands
dishonest man.
The alleged difference between
the frst-class and cheap hotels IN
New York is SAID to consist in the
former payi"g ten cents a pound moro
for beef, three times as much for
glassware, renewing carpets twice rs
often, and so on through all cxpen-
scs.
In view Of the Cushing affair the
remark of Mr.. Van Buren has been
revived, that III il better TO travel
thirty miles 10 zee a man than 20 send
him 2 letter" The maxim Of the
astute Talleyrand was: Never write
letter ard never burn one.
4 sarcastic gentleman was Mr.
Van Dyke. OF New Hampshire. who
leaving $4,000 to his heirs, hoped
none OF them would shuttle and shed
crockodiie tears at his funeral.
Cover me up" said this dying lega
tor, "and then hurry home 10 fight
over my money"
The statue Of Stonewall Jackson,
ordered some time ago, is finished and
ready for shipment at Nuremberg,
Bavaria, but $4,000 still remain to
be paid for it, and a subscription Is on
foot in the Southern States to make
up the deficiency.
Mr. Fenelon Hubbell Of Bridge
port, Conn, is not a bit like the el-
der Mr.. Weller. Having built nice
new house, TO the warning thereof he
summoned all the widows of the VI.
j.. Church. There were twenty oi
them. 5ut then the safe, average WA
sixty-six.
Minnesota papers arc boasting Of
their beautiful weather January lJ.)
and want Eastern people to come out
and enjoy it This is, indeed, very
good time for inyalids 10 90 to Min
nesota and stay, for few ever come
back after winter sets in in earnest.
We are willing to believe that a
California miner fond Of whisky took
a drink by mistake Of quicksilver,
but We are not willing TO believe in
the accompanying statement. that
"the miner has been kept busy ever
since breathing on panes Of glass ~