The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-08-06
ITIFFIN TRIBUNE.

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My Pipe and How i Got 1t
We'll if you insist upon hearing the
= story, L will tell il to yOu-Only re
: member it's y miserably melancholy
thing. However, it Will fill up the
time before we can go to Mrs. Cs
: What ; bore these pAreHthetical
periods Of life are Why not dine al
nine instead of six, so that one would
just have time to smoke a pipe and
put on ones gloves before making a
, bow TO the unfortunate creature who
is sat home" for that night? II ever
I become an engaged man, I shall in
sist upon being married within two
weeks from the day L offer myself.
Did you intimate that you were wait
ing for tile story? Very soon, old
bow. 1 was wandering. Smoke
always puts me out, and this Green
Seal (called "green'' because it's
"blue'' blows q superb cloud, heavy
and yet delicate, awreathing Itself ia
closet coils and turning round and
round your pipe. That pipe Heav-
ems aud earth what a frightful
amount of trouble that pipe cost me.
l once made an estimate Of the ex-
pense. L don't remember now what
1t was, but know / ran in debt and
wore'Old gloves to dozen parties, 1
was so hard up. What possessed the
girl to give it to me 1 never could see.
However, she did, and thereby hangs
the tale.
You see had gone tO the "Beachr
Il can't tell you, of course, where the
Beach is, but .PhiIadelphia people
always go therey with Charlie Dem
vers, and Charlie presented me to his
sister, and his sister waltzed with me
and walked and talked with me, and
we got TO be great friends. One night,
as we were walking-I remember we
had just turned a corner of the piazza,
and come into the full moonlight
she suddenly laid her shand-deuced
pretty hand it was too, with a pearly
glove on it-on mine (the one, you
know, that fellow has to hold up in
beastly uncomfortable position when
he has lady on his arm and Said
(hang me if 1 can ever forgive that
girl her behavior to me Doh 1 do
want you to promise me something so
much. know you will think it odd
of me to talk so Unreservedly to you,
but then you know I've heard of YOU so
often from Charlie, and from other
people, that feel as though you were
an old friend. And oh! am so AK
iOus about it, and if could Only per- |
suade you to promise % What could |
l do? / knew was going to be sold, |
but l couldn't well see how to help it. |
So l said something about "being only |
too happy TO be intrusted with her |
confidence" and "wouldn't she rely |
on me just as il 1 had been her BROTH !
er or UNCLE" or any member of that |
unfortunate class OF men over which |
women think they have q natural |
right to tyrannize, and in fact made
an ass Of myself generally. And then |
she said "Yes, she would trust me, for
she knew / was noble and true'' (she |
read it in my face, she said), t'and
would be kind and oblige her in-what
she wished % and then she looked up
I'M, IN my face With WIN "a speh lovely sarnI6est
thing she desired. o, wretched fool
that L was it ttltt
Ny dear boy, neUer walk in the
moonlight with young and Rttrac-
tive female unless you know she's en-
gagged or imaginess you, to be very
poor. And even then do it cautious
Iy. Well, she went on to say that she
had some frienda-an old gentleman,
an old lady, and a young lady, niece
of the old one-coming to stay with
her party that week, and that she
wished me to be polite and kind to
the young lady and not to flirt with
she added, ''she is
very young and inexperienced. You
are fiirtp (of course l protested) y
"yes, a cruel, wicked flirt, and 1 want
to save her ifI can and l know if
You will promise me not to fiirt with
her one bit you will keep your word"
And then she looked SO sweet that 1
went oft in long speech, in which
avOWed myself to be tie despiser and
contemner of flirts that looked up
OD the man who would seek to wiz !
the heart of a woman without having 7
previously surrendered to her his, as q
vile wretch, and that while i held 7
myself incapable of flirting uader any
possible combination of provocative
circumstances, yet in the case of
friend of hers the mere idea was pecu-
liaTly revolving to my sense of honor,
and that 1 felt deeply hurt that she
could fancy me SO base. In fact L
worked myself into such a state of ex-
citement that / should undoubtedly I
have offered myself had not in my
violent gesticulations managed to
break my pet pipe, which happened
to have IN my hand. Now it chanced
that / thought q great deal Of that
pipe. 1t was perfect thing in its
way-a tiny violet of meerschaum
springing from stem of clOuded am
ber; and suppose 4 looked rather
ruefully about it, for She laughed lit
tie at the flight Ofmy enthusiasm, and
finally said she would give me anoth-
or, since she had been she cause OF my
breaking that, if at the close of the
season she found had kept my
promise.
And that was the first scene of the
romance.
That night I drank four cobblers
and smoked half dozen cigars. l re-
fused to play billiards and took long
and lonely walk. a.ab
1 felt presentiment that this very
lovely, very young and inexperienced
creature was TO have 8 marked effect
upon my life. I imagined the way in
which L should talk with her. The
next day I com mitted to memory
large portions of Mr.. TeaDyson's
poems, and composed several moral
and brilliant essays upon divers sub
jects calculated to improve the juve-
nile female mind. Charlie thought
had gone crazy and am not sure,
looking at it in the light of experience,
that he was altogether incorrect.
They arrived on Saturday. We saw
their nae1essin the list-Mr. and Mrs.
Maynard and Miss Maynard. l might
say here, en- pdSsdat, that I consider
myself one of the best dressed men
ever knew. But this night / dressed ;
with great doubt and perplexity. L
to sacrifice gloves and a
cravAt of the most exquisite shade,
which had relied on for some final
effect. But 1 deemed it wise to
adopt, for the nOnce, the Napoleonict /
tactics and venture my utterrnost
strength. When got to their cot
tage found Charlie out, but Miss.
Denvers received me and presented
me to Mr., Mrs. and Miss Maynard.
Mr.. Maynard was portly gentleman,
rather yOung-loOking for his wife,
whose appearance was quite ancient
and rather unpleasant; and I was sor-
ry to observe that he didn't seem as
attentive as one likes to see middle
aged gentlemen to their wives, and to
my already jealous mind he seemed 3
little desirous of a filtration with the
young lady. But oh, that young LADY,
She was blonde-nota pale, washed
out, white-hued blonde but passion
and fire incarnate. Her hair was
golden Il swear to the heavens If was
not red, not in the least), and great
masses of sunlight seemed hidden In
it, so that when it rippled about her
tiny ears the light was almost painful.
And her eyes Ach Gott, whsteyes!
Moonlight CLEANS in quiet shadowy
forests-hot, seorching moons in wild