Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-08-27
NO. l9.
Varistier Of All Kind
Gid a big knave and little honest
men will worship him.

III tnine enemy wrong tnee, Duy
each of his children tin whistle.
Pottsvil,e rats twirl their fore-legs
against their noses sarcastically at rat
traps. ~ DrL
A day school for convicts has been
establihed in the Massachusetts, State
Prison.
1t is strange fact that wise men
learn more fiom fools than fools do
from wise men.
There isa man in Lawrence, Mass,
who can shoulder piece of water
pipe weighing 400 pounds.
A San Francisco saloon Keeper
claims $3.50 damages for injury done
to his business by a lady dying in a
room over head.
Delaware County, Pa, has ven
cradle cat twenty-five years old, and
a sheep over whose wool twenty win.
tiers have passed.
81 wouldn't have left. but the peo
pie kinder egged me on, said man
who was asked why he quit his Kan
sas home in hurry.
The German residents Of Philadel-
phia are raising n subscription fund
for the erection of statute of Hum
bolt in Fairmount Park.
There is n man in Dubuque who's
so afraid of hydrophobia that he keeps
his hat full of memoranda how to
proceed in case he is bitten.
The name "James Fisk, Jr.,' has
been erased from n New York ferry
boat, and "Jay Gould" has been
wrenched from an Erie locomotive.
Five thousand suits are pending
against the city OF New York, the to-
tal amount claimed reaching the sum
OF seven or eight millions of dollars.
The log cabin which Mr.. Lincoln
made when sixteen years old, stands
in seven different counties in Illinois,
and they havn't got through counting
yet.
There has been a congress OF hair
dressers at Dresden, and a competi-
ton for proficiency between eight ex-
perts, Germans, Austrians and Amer
leans.
Tar and feathers, in the opinion of
people in some parts Of the South,
constitute fitting coat for the white
man who presumes to marry colored
woman.
"Sam, why don't you talk to your
master and tell him to lay up treas
in heaven" What's de use of him
laying up treasures up dar? lie new
er see UNI again.
Gambling at Long Branch this sea-
son is very light those who are will
ling to play have no money to spare,
and those who have money are not
inclined that way.
The Treasury department has
made the wholly superlluous decision
that ehildren's whistles, tin trumpets,
etc, are not to be classed among mu'
sical instruments"
During a hurricane in Kansas, a
county treasurer became so terrified
that he acknowledged defalcation
of 81 800. After the wind had sub
sided he denied it.
An cxasperated tourist suggests
walters and hackmen be let of from
the traps, instead of pigeons, at the
National Sportsmen's meeting, ut
Niagara Falls next month.
What is mutual friend? One to
whom you intrust your private cor.
respondence for safe keeping, and
who never after will surrender 1T to
yourself or anybody else.
Goldsmith Mai, it may be well
to state, is seventeen years OF age,
is owned by Henry n. Smith, OF
New York, who says he won't sell
her for one hundred thousand.
There is one consolation in being
bald. When a policeman strikes
YOU on the head with his club the
doctor doesn't have to waste any
time cutting hair away from the
wound.
"Yhat brought you TO prison, my
colored friend? said Yankee to
pcqro 1.-TWO constables sab" "Yes,
but | mean had intemperance any
thing to do with it," "Ycs sab, dey
was was bof of EN- drunk.
An old hard-shell Baptist preacher,
over in Boyle county. KY, once said
that he had been trying nigh onto
forty year to get rich and serve tho
Lord at the same time; but ne had
found such a course mighty hard Sic
din" We think the old gentleman
nit the nail on the head.
owe have met the enemy and they
are ours," is the telegram IRON the
American cricketists in London
Hepceiorth cricket will become an
American game 1t does not XIII
quite 50 many as base ball; STILL 70
GOOD player, there is always i iair
opening for a broken nose.
A Vermont farmer is held up Tor
admiration by loch paper, because
OF his possessing a rake twenty iour
years old which has only lost one
10th. We haven't a doubt IN It fhis
CITY coul produce at least a hund.ad
rakes of more than that age winch
retain their full complement OF teeth