The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1874-12-26

to GO to church "Kase he didn't
want to look there like a buckle
berry In a pan of milk"
SIS the candidate for sheriff
here?" asked a stranger es he
looked into an Illinois bar-rOOm.
"YeS, why?' asked eighteen
men, as they rose.
"What will not woman do for
the man she lOveS"' asks a writ
er. She will not eat onions while
going to party, no matter how
much she loves him.
A Chicago man recently muir
INJURED ia his sleep, "Nellie. dear
Nelliew and now he spends half
the night in trying to convince
bis wife that Nellie is the heroine
of a novel he has been reading.
An Indiana woman dreamed
that she saw her husband kissing
the hired girl, and she got so mad
over il that she discharged the
girl before breakfast next morn
ing.
Formula of divorce used by
negro Justice in Desba county.
Arkansas: "AS l jined you, SO I
bust you 'sunder. SO go, you mig
gers; you 60"
Short dresses are coming into
fashion again, and young ladies
are experiencing the old, old diff
ficulty Of getting a No. 6 foot into
a No. 4 shoe.
Nantucket has had but two
days rain and one shower since
the last of June, but the people
We're converted to lager-beer sew.
erai years ago, and don't care
much if it never rains.
A Jersey City lawyer was max
ing high flown speech the 9th
er day, telling about angels tears,
weeping willows and tOmbstones,
when his Honor said: "Confne
your remarks to the dog fight"
1T is said that donkey cannot
bray unless his tail is horizontally
extended ."-IndiG90pOLis Ne,Os.
And yet an Indianapolis editor
will sit straight up in hi chair
and write a whole editorial. st.
Louis Journal.
THE SONG OF THE VICTIM OF A
RAILROAD ACCIDENT.
Nv case was brought before
a bench of legal scholars,
Who awarded he my ella im
Of $4,000.
in a hospital at Montpelier,
France is a patient who has just
swallowed thermometer left on
his table, while suffering from
temporary delirium. They have
a great deal of trouble with him
now. When he drinks hot coffee
that thermometer flies up against
the roof of his mouth hard en-
ough to lift his hat off, and when
he calls ice cream it gets down in
his boots and worries his cOrns.
Poor Max Adeler! Hear what
he has to say about a hotel clerk f:
81 can shake hands with Gov
ernOr, sit beside an alderman, and
smoke with a state Senator, and
never feel my littleness; but when
l come to stand in the presence of
a modern hotel clerk | feel that |
awe and inferiOrity which tourists
feel as they stand in the YoSe-
mite Valley, and look up at the |
mountain tops thousand feet |
above"
A Mississippi boatman with i'm
mense feet stopping at public
house on the levee, asked the
porter for a boot jack to pull off
his boots. The colored gentle
man, after examining the stran-
gers feet, broke out as follows:
mo jack here big huff for dem
feets. Jackass couldn't pull 'em
off, massa. w;dout fractring de
leg. Yuse better go back about
tree miles TO de forks III dc road
an pull 'em I'll OAR"
Two Pennsylvania farmers
quarre!ed, for twenty years, over
the ownership of q lane between
their farms, which had been
abandoned as a highway The
son of one and the daughter Of the
other managed to get acquainted,
fell in love mutually, and ran
away to get married; wbereupOn
the old fellows dropped their
quarrel, stopped their lawsuits,
gave the new-married pair the
land in dispute, and built and fur
nished house upon it for them.
In Kansas, Justice, if she is
blind. goes at the rate OF a mile
minute whenever she is after a
horse thief. Vincent Morgan,
grand equine larcenist, as afor-
said. was arrested about sunrise,
had his prelim. mary examination
before break fast, was hound over,