The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-06-30
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A Western paper announces tie death
Of lady celebrated for the "purity of
ler character and complexion"
Those rho have tried it say that
kissing is Ike sewing-maehine, because
it seems s3od. 1
A Brooklyn paper is of opinion that
q kind word will always go farther than
a fatiron.
"Bat, Bst, come under my hat" sang
a base balist. 1t did come, but the
doctor thinks be won't get over it in
side of six months. / Org 3
The ladies are singing about ''the
moth-eaten hustle, the old iron hustle,
the cloth-eaten hustle that hung on so
we'll"
Iss xbisiaed skg saprsn1k
companies charge extra for insuri1g
women. It is because excessive talking
precludes the possibility Of long life.
An Iowa boy was lately heard al
dressing his paternal in this filial style
"You JUS lem me lone, yeow old cuss,
or I'll climb yeow, I will"
Whenever any great American fool,
nowadays, gets an "ides" his efforts
is to organize party or start a news.
paper.-Dayton Herald. -
An old lady devoutly reading her Bi.
bic, and thinking of the work at the
same time: sand the Lord said unto
Moses, Jane you better put the tea ,ket.
tie on"
On St. Patrick's day while the pro.
cession was marching past Oliver street
a colored woman ran up to her son and
said: "You John, come in out of dar
Do yer want folks to think yer Irish p
An exchange says that a man dream
ed recently that his aunt was dead. The
dream proved true. He tried the same
dream on his mother-in-law, but it didn't
work.
"Where do the wicked boys go to
who fish on Sunday p asked a teacher
of juvenile class at Sabbath school,
last Sunday. The prompt reply was,
up to Smiths dam, but" said he, 81
know better hole"
"Men are easily deluded," says the
Empress Eugenie; "they are duped on
every hand /; the same arts succeed with
all of them, and the woman is q genius
who strikes out new way to get the
better Of them"
When man comes home and tries
to bolt his door with a sweet potato
tpokes the FIRE with the spout of coffee
pot, attempts to wind up the clock with
his boot-jack, tries to cut kindling wood
for his morning fire with paper-knife
takes cold potato in hand to light hin
to bed, and prefers sleeping in his hal
and boots, you may reasonably infer
that he has been making the acquain
tance Of some very friendly people.
A clergyman informed his people a
the close of his sermon that he intend
ed in few days to go on a mission t.
the heather. After the congregation
was dismissed, number of the mem
bers waited for their pastor, and, crow
ding around him, expressed their aston
ishment at the new turn in his affairs
asking him where he was going, ant
how long they would be deprived of hi
ministrations He said to them: an,
good friends, do not be alarmed, l an
not going out of town."
A. Milesian, while working in gar
den, Glanced to see lady take out ant
clean her under row of false teeth, anC
on coming home at night said to hi
better half: ''Arrah, Biddy, such sigh
you never saww "And what was it 2
inquired Biddy. "Shure saw Mrs. S
take out her under jazz and clane 1t,
answered Paddy. sex i'st tle 4
A little boy was in shoe store Will
his mamma, and was trying on q pal
Of shoes which happened to be rathe
tight. The clerk said he would pnt
little powder in them, and then the,
would slip on readily. The boy com
menced to cry, ard his mother asking
him the cause, he answered: ss'rha
man said he would put some powder il
the shoes, and when he lights it, it vii
blow me up" z. 80 I4t q .
A member of Congress from Holme
county, had occasion to visit Cleveland
Ohio, and stopped at the Weddel
House. After reading the bill of far
he ordered the waiter to bring him som
scrambled eggs, When the eggs wer
brought the NJ G.. looked at them il
disgust, and said "Wa alter, take AVA
those eggs. ] am not used to eatin
rotten eggs at home, and l won't ca
them abroad" s.',... -s ~.
A wag with the word whoa obroush
a horse driven by a young man to-
dead stop. .s'rhat's fue beast q
yours says the wag. "Yes, prett
| good sort Of an animal, but he has on
fault. He was once owned by butch
er, and is sure to stop whenever b
hears a calf bleat." Wag don't sa
"whoa' to that horse any more.
Dick Hard is the proprietor of vs.
riety store in Jersey He is hard G
hearing, and not liking to be bothere'
| by canvassers who try to sell him ney
articles, his usual reply is:
Il have ordered some Of those, bu
they haven't come in yet"
Lately drummer entered his stor
with patent toy and addressed hir
thus: .
Have you any children whom 20
can amuse-" =
Dick, who neither understood no
fully heard the question, quickly inter
rupted: 81 f|4sf .l Tf flaEI
"I've ordered some, but they haven
come YETI alA
On one of the Western railroads is
passenger conductor, whom we will ca
Patrick O'Connor. One day Patrick
train was tagged between e. and j. b
a man on the track ahead. O'Conno
stepped off to ascertain the trouble
when the following conversation er
sued:
Stranger els this Patrick O'Cor
nor's train p 3
O'C.-"To be shure it is" @
Stranger -"And are you Fatricl
O'Connor?'
=