Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-08-05
THE PROPHETIC PISTOL.
From Chambers Journal.

"And that, ? said I, sis pretty nearly
all that [ have to tell you
The above words formed the perora-
ton of a synopsis of several years
travelling, communicated to me by a
fellow passenger from Helsingfors to
Stockholm, as we leaned over the side
of the good ship Viborg,- and watched
the countless groups of rocky islets,
crested with green foliage, which arose
on every side from the smooth, trans
parent sea. Ny auditor was a long,
lean, wiry American, with cold, clear
eye, and look indomitable of frmness
In every line Of his pinched, sallow face,
which gave him the aspect Ito quote
from pugnacious friend of mine), 'of
man you would like to be back to
back with in row.
oval, stranger" remarked he, at
the close Of my narrative, "you have
been about bit, [ reckon; but you
haln't seen much, and whats more, you
hain't done much, neither.
My dignity was somewhat ruff1ed by
this plain-spoken criticism, for [ pri-
vately regarded myself as a second Sin
bad, on the strength of a moderate ac-
quaintance with the majority Of the
countries which figure on the tourists
visiting list. Moreover, my listener
had himself provoked my communica-
tlyeness by a series of searching ques-
lions upon every point of my personal
history, from the color of my grand
fathers hair to the amount of pocket
money allowed me at Rugby. Conse-
quently, there was perhaps shade Of
acrimony in my tone as [ replied
GIVE done what I could; but, of
course, everybody can't have as many
adventures as you"
oval, yu air about right thar" re-
turned he, taking my words literally,
GIVE seen a few things In my time, I
reckon but mark ye, it's cause I've
looked about me, and fixed for dom
somethin' wherever I went, sted Of
trailin' about with my eyes shet and my
like some folk. Now, I'll tell VI how
yu Britishers travel yu jest follow the
railway track right square from one big
town to another, and see the opera
house, and the theayters, and the prom
,enades, and SIGH like; and O. course
yu meet heap O riff-raff, and mayhap
get your eye teeth drawn a leetle too
slick; and after devotin' three weeks or
a month to seem country with some
millions o people in it, yu come back
and write tarnation big book to say,
6 that alter all, the critters thar air all
lazy and shiftless, and good for nothin'
but to cheat, and tell lies-and no won
der, seem they're only cussed furri-
ners, and haint got the inestimable
bIessin of free British constitution.
That now, stranger, he concluded, with
the paternal superiority of missionary
instructing Hottentot, "that's the
way yu go to work; but, yu observe,
faint the right way, nowhow yu can
fix it,
"And how did you go to work, then ?"
asked [, wishing to divert the current
OF this food of extempore criticism.
Wall, [ fixed to do somethin, and [
done 1t; leastways, a man that had been
a teamster in the Rocky Mountains, a
gold-digger in Australey, sailor in the
1nJIne Ocean, store-keeper al Shang-
han, a newspaper editor at San Francis
key, and an agent for one notion or
another IN every country of Europe,
mout say he'd done somethin'. I guess,
If he had a mind TO- %
"And have you really done all that 2"
asked l, somewhat startled at the cata-
Iogue. - -
Reckon / hey; I've been kinder
movin' round ever sin was as big as a