The enquirer southerner., 1874-05-08

William Jones DO you deny
that you are in love with my wife z
| am not Jones-I have nor
chat honor sir. Ny name is Park
weii-Eienry PArkwe!!, of Squash
gille, and with It bow, tooh myself
of.
After that | called az The resi-
ienee Of three John Smiths--none
Of them was my Mr.. Smith, and
aothing occurred worthy Of note
The next sir. Smith resided IN
Portland street. Thither 7 bent
my steps. Il was a very small
evidently not the house Of wealth
and cleanliness, l made my way
up to the front door, through
wilderness of old rags, broken
ereckery, old tin ware, etc, seat
fering a flock of hens and rousing
i snappish little terrier from his
nap on the steps.
4 red faced woman answered ny
rap, but before | could make my
customary inquiry she opened Oil
ne like two>edgcd butcher knife.
Well, of all the impudent ras
Gals that ever | see, you beat the
lot want to know if You had
DC cheek to come back here again :?
You i like to sell me another Ger
man silver pot, and another brass
bosom pin to- dear Araminta--
Nould' mt you.
By no means, sand l.: : | beg
leave to inform YOU.
Oh, you needn't beg We
don't believe in beggars ! | s'pose
you thought | should not know
you-but | did! should know
chat black back of yours in Cali
farny! Clear out of my presence
ossI'll lay my broom~handle over
yen, II there is anything ! hate,
it's a peddler-especialIy rascal
like you
Allow me to inquire said l.
IF Mr.. John Smiths wife was
Melinda Byrne, the eldest daughter
Of my fathers
The broomstick was lifted,
heard it cut the air like a minnie
] bullet, and sprang down the steps
| Into the street, at my best pace.
An angry man l do not fear, but
uito can stand before an angry wo.
nssn ] would rather face roar
ing lion.
! | called on two more Mr.. Smiths
still unsuccessful in my search.
1t was getting near dark, and | was
more than anxious to reach my
destination.
My next Mr.. Smith was located
in Lenox street. 1t was twilight
when 1 rang the bell at his door.
\ smiling fellow admitted me
fairly forcing me into the hail, be-
fore [ could utter a word.
! "Walk right in, sir, they are
expecting you. The ladies will be
down in a moment. Miss Hattie is
in the back parlor. Walk right in,
sir"
l was gently pushed toward the
door of shadowy apartment, and
at the entrance Twas announced:
"Mr. Henry!''
/ The gas was not lighted, and the
apartment was in semi darkness. |
heard q soft, quick football on the
carpet, and a pair Of the sweetest
lips in touched mine; and, good
graciou5-f for moment the world
swan; and | felt as if | had been
stewed in honey, and distilled into
Lubin's best triple extract Of roses.
! "Oh, Henry-my dearest and
best Why don't you kiss ne,
Henry ?" c,.td Voice like music.
" Have you ceased to care for me!''
and again the kiss was repeated.
Who could resist the temptation?
I am naturally a different man, but
l have some human nature in me,
and / paid her principal and interest.
ooh, Henry, | had so feared that
being in the army had made You
coldhearted-good heavens y She
fell back gainst chair as pale as
death. The servant hal lit the gas,
and | stood revealed.
Il beg your pardon, marin,
said | "there is evidently some
mistake. May l inquire if NJ.
Smiths wife was Me linda Bryne,
the eldest daughter of my father 5
great uncle g
/ The red flush came to the young
lady's cheek-she was handsome as
a picture-and she replied with
courtesy:
! "She was not. You will, l hope
excuse me for the blun1!er I have
committed? We are expecting my
brother Henry from the army, anc
your blue clothes deceived me"
For which I shall always wcal
blue l replied galIantly. 'AlloH
me to introduce myself an
Henry Parkwell, of Squashville,
and in making my best bow
stumbled over an ottoman, and fel
smash into china closet, demolish'
ing at least dozen plates and a:
many glass tumblers.
l sprang to my feet-seizod M!
bag, and without a word dashed GU
of the house.
] knocked over man who wa
passing at the moment, and landed
myself on my head in the gutter
The man picked himself up, an,
was about to make a display o