The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1874-04-27
A saccharlne Family.

Thefe was "candy'pulling at MIR.
Coyille's residence the other evening.
There were some forty people present,
and they made jolly occasion OF it.
Every one in attendance was pleased
with the cordial welcome and assiduous
attention given by Mr.. and Mrs. Co.
vile. And indeed that worthy couple
did show thorough appreciation.
Mrs. Coyille may perhaps have WINGED
little when some facetious member
of the party threw q two.pound hunk
Of the candy oil the stovepipe and roar
ed to see 1t trickle down, and Mr.. Coyille
may have looked thoughtful moment
on discovering pan OF dripping molas-
ses on the keyboard Of the piano, but
they entered into the amusement with
hearty good will, aud when the guests
departed at 2 A. NJ, 1t was with the un.
animously expressed conviction that no.
body ever had o better time, and that
the Covilles were the sweetest people
OF their acquaintance. In another and
less agreeable sense they certainly
were. When the visitors were gone,
the Coyilles took q glance over their
parlor, sighed audibly, put out the
lights, and went to bed.
With the unrelenting light OF day up.
on tho rooms, the Covilles appeared to
the best advantage as q very sweet
family. Mr.. Coville went downstairs
IN his stocking.feet, and as soon rs he
struck the hall, he commenced to shed
yarn. Reaching the parlor, finally,
with the chords in the back Of his legs
aching from the exertion they were sub.
iected to, he Immediately collapsed in.
10 chair and smote his forehead in ab.
iect despair. There were yellow streaks
on the stoyepipe, and dark stains on
the keyboard OF the piano, and auburn
clots on the carpet, chairs, and wall.
They were o light-hearted and Joyous
people were those candy.pullers. There
wasn't m article Mr.. Coyille touched
against but that he had to tear himself
away from. He found treacle in his
boots when he attempted to draw them
on, and ii seemed ut one time as il he
would have to cut his leg off at the knee
to get free Of them again. And when
he rose up, the chair came up with him
THAT. .is, came part way up-and then
dropped of in on unexpected manner
and raped him severely on very sore
heel. There was sheet Of paper on
the chair, and glued rather tightly to
1t, but with enough melancholy candy
on It's upper surface to take still tight.
er hold Of Mr.. Coville's pants, and to
hang there even after its ally had drop.
ped to tho floor. And II being part OF
q programme OF q panorama, and that
part containing the principal announce.
rnent in very large type, Mrs. Coyille,
who had now made her appearance, and
was trying desperately to free her stock.
ing foot from an extra large COB Of the
trouble on the door-sill, was astonished
and Mortified beyond measure to be.
hold her husband dancing about the
room'in very ecstacy Of rage, and I'D.
vertlsing in very conspicuous manner
"yiews OF the Holy Land"
"Why, Hazekiah Coville" she
screamed; "what on earth are you do.
ing with that thing on your pants ?"
"An outraged heaven only knows
what I am doing Or going to dol" cried
the miserable man, clutching at the
panorama bill and bringing away a
handful OF II. 81 never sec such q
house as this, he protested, with tears
in his eyes, "since the day was born.
It is as good as two hundred dollars
damage. I'd butts my brain out against
the WALL" said he, glaring around
gloomily, "if / could find place clean
enough TO doit."
1T wouldn't be such hogs II I were
some people, I knowl" exclaimed the
unhappy woman, and sinking on q chair
she burst into o tit OF passionate weep
ing, while Mr.. Coville renewed his ago.
nized dance, and hurled the most dread
full imprecations at society.
But this was not all the trouble. Dis.
figured walls, q ruined carpet, and
spoiled furniture were bad enough, but
the crowning evil Of the occasion, tho
very pinnacle Of the family's despair,
was Master ooville. Such q spectacle
as that young gentleman presented
when he appeared was never before
seen in any family, we are certain.
There was candy in his ear, and in his
eye.winkers, and down his back, and in
his pockets, and on his clothes, and
there was candy in the inside Of his
jacket sleeves, and so much OF it, that
he could not, trying his best, get that
garment only part way on. And as for
his hair, no pen can describe IL, and o
steam.plow wouldn't attack IL. II was
Just simply matted with candy. Had
he plunged headlong into o hogshead
Of the molten article, his Uranium would
not have been more thoroughly smear
ed with 1t. Where on earth the boy
could have been, and how lie ever got
such quantities over him, no one could
tell. To o mind Of ordinary business
capacity, II would have been very
difficult matter to decide which should
be saved-the boy or the molasses. Mr..
Coville no sooner saw him than he
checked q mouthful OF invectiycs with
o suddenness that made him gasp, and
dropping into a chair, fell to staring at
the struggling and besmeared youth
with all his might. Mrs. Coyille, with
greater presence Of mind, went ior him
OF once, and taking him by his sound
ear, shook him till he rattled like a pop.
per Of corn. All efforts to get comb
into his hair were unavailable; and
made desperate by its resistance, the
disgusted parents clipped it ofE-the
father sitting on the struggling legs,
and holding with the grip Of wee the
struggling arms, while the operation
was performing. With his hair thus
cut, the miserable boy was nearly driven