Litchfield enquirer., 1874-07-16
. cLiPPincs.

&A EUN W1yAe q AiasAA W4tdL &a Icus 1tOst - is looked up to as s profound thinker an6 a deep philosopher.
 4 Toledo woman is reported to have mnzxled her husband to keep him from kissing the chambermaid. g
 Connecticut has 2,33O bar-rooms. te which it points as examples of liberty without license. VI
 Charitable ladies in Providence, R. T.. are raising fund to establish home for aged and indigent males.
 I'm not much for shtump spakin'," de- clared candidate at Dubuque 'but for honesty and capacity and integrity, I bate the devil"
 Tho Worcester Press speaks of a con- temporary who hires Q small boy to come in at intervals, with a step ladder, and dust of the tops of his cars.
 B lis said fIlat the young Duchess of Ediabassh sPoalrs with a slight Tartar &C., cent To her fond husband that accent mnst seen the very cream of Tartar. ''Spellin' booksr' roared Nevada man when approached by an agent. "No sir; but if you've got any good plug tobacco S1AM~sSo aC A&n 0eAAhO n
 Hartford, Conn.,, is rejoiced by the cir cumstance that lightning-r rod man was last week struck by the electric fluid while afixing one of his rods to building in that town.
 A Virginia sheriff asked murderer if he wanted to make a speech on the gal lows, and he replied: "Guess not: it looks l1fyn o,.l Io,1Sk &1 on with the hanging" 4
 Enthusiastic Pedestrain-''Am on the right road for Stratford- d-Shakespeare's s town, you know? You've often heard of Shakespeare" Intelligent British Rus tic-''Yes; be you he?"
 Sunday-school Teacher (reprovingly)z Boys do you know what day this is?" Street boy-"Hi, fellersi here's cove as don't know what day this is! guess he's been out all night"
 Fifth avenue Christians will learn with pity, if without contempt, that the poor heather Hindostanese have set on foot a movement for the reduction of cxtrava- gance in marriage ceremonies.
 Punch's receipt for tho preservation of furs is excellent: ''Pull out all the hairs with tweezers, and varnish the skin. In the Spring remove the yarnish and care fully stick all the hairs in their old places. '"
 ''What kind of sassages is them?" qucr- Icd an old lady of the young man of liter. ature and peanuts, as he passed through the train selling bananas.
 For young woman to begin to pick lint off q young mans coat collar is said to ,be the first symptom that tho young man is in peril.
 ''Plcase, sir, said little girl who was sweeping crossing for living, "you have given me bad penny" Never mind, little girl, you may keep it for your honesty"
 ''How like it's father it is!' exclaimed the nurse, on the occasion of the christen- ing of baby whose father was over sev- enty, and had married n young wife. ''very likely" replied n satirieal lady: cit hasn't a tooth in its head"
 A Norwich school-boy and girl with whom he had been made to sit as a pun ishment, during recitation in history, the other day, signed the following peti- tion and presented it to the teacher; 'sWe, the undersigned, request that the history lessons hereafter be considerably length ened."
 They tell queer story about the doc tors in a certain Texas town who were all away last summer, to attend a medical convention. They were absent about two months, and on their return found their patients had recovered, the drug stores nad cIosed, Eno nurse hau opened dancing schools, tho cemetery was cut up into building lots. the undertakers had gone to making fiddles. and the hearse had been painted and sold for 8 circus-wagon.
 The editor of tho Columbia G. O Mail with grateful eloquence acknowledged the receipt of Q milk-punch in one column, and in the next published GA Temper ance Department. Somebody has com plained of his inconsistency, and he ex. plains that the ''editor of the Mail has no- thing to do with what goes into tho tenn perance column of his paper, nor have the gentlemen who conduct that department anything to do with what goes into the editor of the Mail" The poet of the Boston Advertiser has enbalmed the Into hcresy trail in verse as follows:
 You must keep," quoth tho strict Dr. Patton, ''The straight Presbyterian hat on.''
 ''I shall do no such thing"
 Said the liberal Swing;
 Sooner perish than always feel that on."
 Then vengeance cried stiff Dr. Pat ton, Will spring, as q cat docs rat on; ]
 For tho charges bring,
 Will sure make you SwingT Then straightway his high horse he gat on. The Council then called by hold Patton, The Subject had many a chat on;
 But the charges fell flat,
 And so did tho hat,
 Which the Council in wisdom then sat op.