The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1874-10-17

always an aggrsvation to Jacobs, the
way that miserable old thing acted.
"hs moved way back to Indiany
pretty soon7went to Wellsville-We ellis.
vile was the place the Hogadoms was
from. Mighty fine family. Old Mary
land stock. Old Squire Hogadom could
carry around more mixed Ticker, and
cuss better than most any man / ever
see. His second wife was the Wilder
Billlngs'-she that was Becky Martin; her
dam was Deacon Dunlap's first wife.
Her Oldest child, Maria, married mis-
sienary and died in grace-et up by
the savages. They ct him, too, poor
feller-biled him. It wasn't the custom.
50 they say. but they explained to
friends Of his'n; that went down
there to bring away his
things, that they'd tried missionaries
every other way and never could get
any good out Of 'em-and so it annoyed
oil his relations to find out that that
mans life was fooled away just out Of a
dern'd experiment, so to speak. But
mind you, there amt anything ever
RELY lost every thing that people can't
understand and don't see the reason Of
docs good if you only hold on and give
it fair shake; Providence don't fire
60 blank ca'triges, boys. That there
missionary's subsistence, unbeknowns
to himself, actu'ly converted every last
one OF them heathens that took a chance
at the barbecue. Nothing ever fetched
them but that. Don't tell me it was
accident that he was billed. There
amt no such thing as an accident.
'When my Uncle Lem was leaning
up agin scaffolding once, sick OF. drunk
or suthin, an Irishman with hod full
Of bricks fell on him out Of tho third
story and broke the old mans back in
two places. People said it was an &C.
cident. Much accident was about that.
He didn't know what he was there for,
but he was there for good object. II
he hadn't been there the Irishman
would have been killed. Nobody can
ever make me believe anything
different from that. Uncle
LENS dog was there. Why didn' t the
Irishman fall on the dog? Becuz the
dog would seen him coming and
stood from under. That's the reason
the dog warn't appinted. A dog can't
be depended on to carry out special
providence. Mark my words, it was a
put-up thing. Accidents don't happen,
boys.
"Uncle LENS dog-I wish you could
seen that dog. He was a regular
shepherd-or ruther he was part bull
and part shepherd--splendid animal :
belonged to Parson Hager before Uncle
Lem got him. Parson Hagar belonged
to the Western Reserve uagars
prime family, his family
his mother was Watson; one Of his
sisters married a Wheeler; they settled
in Morgan county, and he got nipped
by the machinery in a carpet factory
and went through. in less than q quar-
ter Of a minute his widder bought the
kiece of carpet that had his remains
wove in, and people came a hundred
miles to tend the funeral. There was
fourteen yards in the piece. Sht
wouldn't let them roll him up, but
planted him just so. full length. Thu
church was middling small where they
preached the funeral, and they had t
let one end Of tho coffin stick out of tn,
window. They didn't bury him-they
planted one end, and lot him stand up
same IS monument. And they nailed
a sign Oh it, ana put--put on it--sacret
to--the m-e.m-o-r-y--of fourteen
y.a.d.s--of three'ply--car--pet--con
"a all hat i 1f-
of--of- -of-W -i-l-l-i am W-h.e--."
Jim Blame had been growing gradual,
drowsy and drowsier-his head nodded
once, twice, three times-dropped peace
fully upon his breast, and he fell tran
gully to sleep. The tears were run
ming down the boys cheeks-they wer'
sufocating with suppressed laughter
and had been from the start, though
had never noticed it. l perceived tina
! I was ''sold." Learned then that jim
Blane's popularity was that wheneve
he reached certain state of intoxica
ton no human power could keep hin
from setting out, with impressive unc
ton, to tell about wonderful adven
ture which he once had had with grand
fathers old ram and the mention 0
the ram in the first sentence was as ia
as any man had heard him get concern
ing it. He always maundered of in
terminably from one thing to another
| till his whisky got the best Of him, ant
he fell asleep. What the thing wa
that happened to him and his grand
fathers old ram is dark mystery t.
this day, for nobody has yet found out
A Polish Wedding I'm Wisconsin.