The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1874-02-17

1t is pronounced an ominous sign when
a mac, who has been married scare, ly
twelve months, begins to betray an At.
normal causes Of lock jaw.
A Detroit female of just twenty We
was recently married to her fifth b. 8.
band. All the gentlemen are alive ind
the first four are doing we'll.
An embryo poet. who is certainly a
close observer OF human nature, remarks
"Time marches on with the slow, meas.
ured tread Of a man working oy the day.
Judge Jeffreys, pointing with his cane
at prisoner before him, observed,
There is great rogue at the end ofthis
stick" The man replied, AT which
end, my lord ?"
An Iowa editor wrote During The
past week we have been visiting the So.
Ions Of the country" aud his con,t,pt
subscribers think that is funny way to
spell SALOONS"
Andrew jackson was accused Of bad
spelling, but John Randolph defended
him BY declaring that man must he
a fool who could not spell words more
ways than one."
A good brother in Deckertown, n. j.,
advertises in the local papers that to
didn't set out his trees for bitching .po,ts
for those who attend the Methods, meet.
ing house.
A Boston man was cursiug an edii'r
ha nfh duu h.p h.. f..lI
similar instances have been la:,b rc.
ported. Men should be careful iu speak.
ing of anything sacred.
The impulsive clerk who accidrually
back Of the rural ped, sr,iaD, wa> ia the
drug store, saturday ,veuing, u,gu'ia Ing
for oottle OF lluimeut
Domestic young lady (making pr -
"Fraus, the Kitchens no place ior t", 5.
Has the dough such All HliracIirn ar
your" Clever yUulb-"l, isu't lie
dough, cousin it's the dear."
A sophomore says he cannot under
stand how any one possessing what IS
generally known as a Conscience e n
counterfeit FIVE cert piece. aud lut ,n
the back Of it "ln God We trust"
Building castles in Spain, Mir. So
said the landlady to Spicer, who was
thoughtiully regarding his morning cup.
mo, NAM" said Spicer, "only looking
over my grounds in Java
slept In an editors bed last night
When oditor chanced to be nigh;
Aud thought as | tumbled that editors nest,
How easily editors lie.
In a California obituary it is stated
that "the deceased was a person OF 10.
mantle nature. lie placed the hreech #
the gun in the fire, and, looking down
the muzzle, departed hence instantaneous.
ly."
"lf this jury convicts my Client" said
a Missouri lawyer, rolling up his sleeves
and displaying his ponderous fists, "i
shall feel compelled to meet each cue aud
hammer justice into his soul through hi.
head"
The Danbury Ne,cs states that New
Haven editor speut last Sunday in Slaw.
son and attended church. When the con
tlibution box came around he was in Il
dose, but, on being nudgcd, hastily cx
claimed, al have pass"
A veteran observer says that "Oli
friends arc like old boots. We neycl
realize how perfectly they were fitted to
is till they are cast aside and other.
finer aud more stylish perhaps, bu, cramp.
ing and pinchiDg in every corner, ar
substituted.
A "runner" for a Milwaukee house,
was, a few days ago, in La Crosse. anx-
ious to get across the river on the ice,
but was told it was dangerous, so he got
on his hands and knees aud crawlei
across, hauling skiff on the ice to get n
case the ice brks. After he had crawled
about half way across, and was all tired
and discouraged, he heard noise behind
him. and, thinking the ice was breaking.
he got on his knees just as a load OF wood
came up behind him. The ice was foot
thick. and some ether runners had PLAYED
it on him. He is searching Tor the fel.
! low Who told him the ice Was thin.