Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1874-02-07
A STEAM JAOKASS,
THE MOST WONDERFUL INVENTION or THE
AaE-A DETAILED ACCOUNT OF IFS or.
PERATION AND EFFECT,

The MUST WONDERFUL INVENTION OF THE
| AGE-A DETAILED ACCOUNT OF IT'S or.
PERATIoN AND EFFECT.
A man living hear Nashville, Wash
ington county, Illinois, has recently in
vented an apparatus, to take the place of
whistles for railroad signals, steamboats,,
fire-alarms, factory calls and the like.
He calls it the Telephon" but the
most popular name is the "Steam
Jackass." The inventor is a stock far
mer, and has devoted much of his time
to raising mules, whose habits and
anatomy he appears to study carefully.
On his farm there was mule of more
than ordinary vocal power, whose voice
could be heard distance of four miles
in every direction, when he got warmed
up to his work. The owner computed
that if he could set in motion all the air
in circle of eight miles in diameter, or
twenty-five miles in circumference, or
an area of fifty square miles, or thirty
two thousand acres, a hundred horse
power jackass could, all other things be-
ing equal, rival any other thing yet dis
covered. He established the fact that the
power of an ordinary ass is about one
twelfth of an indicated steam horse
power. A steam engine of one thous-
and horsepower would therefore be
equal to the power of $4,000 asses.
Wherefore, if one can fill circle eight
miles in diameter, $4,000 jackasses or
one 1000 horse power jackasses would
fill circle OF IS 900 miles in diameter
The inventor thought all this over care
fully, arriving at the deduction that if
he could take natures vocal apparatus
and apply to it greater power he could
produce larger and more satisfactory
volume of sound. Filled with this idea,
he put the mule to death, and carefully
severed the head from the body He
then injected solution of chloride of
zinc and arsenic into the veins and ar
teries of the head and neck, to prevent
the decay of the flesh. India rubber
was dissolved in sulphuric ether, and
the solution forced through the trachea
and wind-pipe and through the larnyx
and throat. The ether evaporated,
leaving film of rubber on the men,
branes, and the injection and evapora-
tion were continued until the rubber
film was found of sufficient thickness.
These organs were then subjected to a
vapor of sulphur, heated to 800 degrees,
by which process the rubber was vul-
canized, its elasticity increased, and the
membranes rendered impervious to
steam. These preparations completed,
a short piece of rubber hose was at
tached to the wind-pipe and connected
to steam boiler.
It was q moment of agony to the in.
ventor as he placed the ass-head in the
hands OF an assistant, and slowly pulled
the valve open, a moment of thrilling
interest. As the steam was turned on,
it passed into the wind-pipe, expelling
air and producing sigh, followed by a
groan, q snort, chuckle, then a violent
coughing and sneezing. AS full head
of steam was turned on, the most fright
full guffaw, the most vociferous bray
that ever assailed mortal ears, We're
produced. The lips contracted, dis
closing terrible array of teeth; the fea-
lures developed terrible grin; the
jaws rose and fell as the steam crowded
the passages, and the ears participated
in the general movement, giving to the
head of the ass an excited appearance.
The men who was holding the head,
gazed upon it q moment, with dilated
eyes, colorless cheek, knocking knees
and protruding tongue; then, suddenly
losing oil interest in the performance he
emigrated. As for the inventor, his
success succeeded his most sanguine
anticipations. For an instant he con-
templated the head, his countenance
working with every manifestation of
extreme delight; then he too started,
probably to hear the greatest distance
to which the voice would penetrate,
leaving it in operation with all the
steam on. The head had now got
warmed up to its work, and the bray
went hurling through the universe. 1t
was an acoustic earthquake; sky
shake; it was storm, hurricane of
sound, tornado, a cyclone of noise; it
was q donkeys carnival, jackass
Fourth of July. 1t was the greatest
success the world has ever known.
The inventor declares his intention
of improving on this instrument, and of
applying the same invention to other
species. He is now preparing the head
OF the mocking-bird, which will be
equal to 100 mocking-bird power, and
the lovers of that gentle birds tender
notes will only have the trouble of turn
ing on the steam.
The invention serves another purpose.
! Those who have studied the steam
iackass assert that in the noises pro-
duced they have detected articulate
sounds, syllables and even sentences.
They affirm that as the microscope
gives to the eye perception of the
lower orders of life, as the telescope
makes visible the distant stars, SO this
new invention magni6es the slight, un-
noticed sounds of animals, and by sup
plying the missing links, gives us COM
plete language of animals. A promi-
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