The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-09-12


ta.trnrd down with an immense paddock. ON the
end of the trunk were painted 'nc "orus Slio
can stand tm and on the DINER, 'lorc co,hlii-
4 The railroad men gr0aned aloud as 'hcy "alkeu
laround " them trunk ana viewed IL from c'cls
, angie and two omnibus men VINO thouSht the
. owner wa, going to stop over, made tracks ou'
, of the depot DofT0t Ffte FffSS
; 4 female bill.postcr is doingan extensive bust
ness in New York. The sex WGs always g00d III
running up bills .-BoSton Post.
Az Illinois man has invented gda which
shoots scventy-lou times a minute. Whcw
wouldn't that be Just business to let play on
lightning rod pcddlers an hours or so.
Beautiful and accomplished daughters
around Memphis go out eOon-hunting with their
beaux, and, on returning home, climb to the sec;
ond-story window, 50 as not to arouse the ora
man.--Dctiod FIRE. Press.
And when a coon is up Il tree, and one Of these
girls climbs for him" he holds up his paws and
tail aud squcas Say! si- give up--neednt
come any further, III como down" and down ne
! hops.
! There /, said to be- a man living in the interior
of Virginia. who insists that the war Is not over
vet. and drills himself solitary and alone, every
day We suppose The poor man is married
T MAY heaven angels whisper -'lN'h
rs they kss your darling cheeks. wrote La
Crosse man TO his Betsy only LAST spring; ana
now he wishes heavens angels would whispGF 10
INN how his breach i.promtSc suit is coming
out. rs his lawyer +, doubtful-La 'i0Sm DC!d.
Thi- only show, that he fellow changed his
mind.
! NE ,irl, a, yaS,ar College are learning to
swim. Fourteen of them get into 4 wash tub at
once, 80 rs to give each other courage. -LT,
That was because they had no masculine patty
here to man the tub,
An exchange suggests thut as the detectives
Ibay, advertised for Charlie Ross, the abducted
child, without finding him. that Charlie had bet
ter advertise for the detectives.
A Louis,lle paper says that Aunt Betsy
Fisher has twenty-five living children When
asked by reporter for some particulars oil her
lnuch.sDothcrhood She admitted twenty-five, hut
said Don't publish it, as came out to Ken
tucky in search Of another husband
Widows weed, are not green neither arc
widows, As a rulc.-E|
That's why Weller Scnio gave that memorable
advice to his son, to beware OF the widdcrs.'
What sublime cpur0gr was that displayed by
the Nevada woman, who, when the stealthy saw
are approached her, Just pulled on her hsr ana
rave it to hm ,--hF
An AlabAnim gayc A. his reason far not at
tending church the fact that Sunday was unior-
tunately the day lac had set apart for pounding
mis- mule, and he couldn't l"age home.
Tins was "busincss before pleasure"
An exchange SAYS, two mules and a COW were
struck hy lightning aud killed during recent
storm at Moriana, Florida. That the lightnings
of Florida should fool away their time and
siren eth on mules and COWS while there are 80
many curpet.bagGers to strike, is perfectly won
dcrful.
The man who peuned the following. is evident
ly close student of nature--woman nature
II is now thirty years since the first telegraph
wire was established, and yet two women viii
stand and jaw" each other from opposite side
of fence the entire morning without cFcn think
Ing of the marvellous progress Of science.
Here is a point within point;
4 Saginaw poet writes of his native place:
won'st the red Injm here took their delights,
Fisht tit and blcd
| Now hOst of the Inhabitants Is WhItne,
| With nary red.
That Brick" Pomcroy should join th- Gran
/ gcrs is not ut all unnatural. Dirt ha. always
been his best hold.-Fof AMI -HGa
| The Post Gnd .NH man must have come nom
.n,ur o,bnr narcutnuo than mother-carth. =
The dainty" cuss " must have been waited from
| the clouds on chip lie doesn't seek granger
patronage. lest they might %, his exquisite shirt
'y,t,
The ro,,;., .I,,,,o,, has suffered ,nonv .nubs
and ro.o ,uI,ir,,. in be, ,ime hnt # Is doubtful
whcthar She was eyer roIlrd harder name than
that orpIcdry fine >t,c,s zst,gg This morning
which saws. oThc Fg,,ioo .y,,,,.,oI that .tunil
norrot of thc Chicago T,,.c,r
At, :, u.,..,,..,., =. .,,..,.,,. ., .....,,,.
- -
ranger N""N' "'""-'' newspapers N"S' ="
him:
! \ HYATT Smith claims to be a Granger Iii,
farm consists of the dirt under his ingernail.
and ou his shin. collar
=