American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-10-31
Family Government.

Family Government.
How shall children be trained by
thoughtful, careful parents at home
1t Is safe To say that every reader OF tins
article would answer this question diiler-
emily There is the father who has ODE
dent children He boasts that he only
needs to speak once to insure quiet or
the performance of any task he may al
lot When he comes into the room the
laughter is hushed-thc blast of tin
trumpcts ceases. Tommy and Jamie
and Jack fold their arms demurely,
glance at the lord of the mansion fur
lively, and creep out the door ut the flrst
chance to have "slathcrs" of fun in the
garden or garnet. His household is gov
crned Systematically, but is it not gov
erned too much? Though anything but
pleasant at times, we still delight i'll see
ing The father set upon by the children
rs if he were nothing but an elder child
himself We like to see him protesting
and scolding seriously ut the little ones
for pinching his legs, and behold his in
dignant words smothered by the kisses of
the baby, who does not fear his froWns.
However disagrceable it may be to see
children noisy and boisterous in the pres
cnce and in spite of the remonstranccs
that their bad side is toward us, and
that they do not improve the opportunity
when the backs of the father and mother
are turned to do worse. For ourselves,
then, we would rather witness too much
liberty than too much restriction; too
much freedom than too much fear. Is
there not a happy medium, however,
which avoids unbridled license on the
one hand and craven and unhealthy sub
~,
there is. We go into some families where
an air of happiness and order reigns on
every hand. The parents and the visit
ors are not interrupted by ill-mannered
children, but neither are the children
frowned into silence by threatening ges
ture or promised punishment 1t seems
perfectly natural that everything should
run smoothly; that the boys should come
in and go out at the right time; that the
girls should speak when desired, and
should be silent when it is proper for
goes to sleep at precisely the
right time, or wakes up not a
moment too soon to give the admiring
visitor chance to pinch its fat cheeks
and depart Now how does all this come
about? We answer that much of it is
the fruit of daily observance of order
and propriety, as much when the family
are alone as when strangers are by. We
cannot expect children to have Il stock of
modesty, propriety and politeness by
them to use only on particular occasions
These adOrnments should be put on
every day and worn as constantly as
dress, until by and by they become so
much part of the child that he cannot
do without them. We suppose there is
not mother in the country who has not
told her child to say "Thank you" when
offered anything by stranger, and she
is surprised and mortified when the boy
or girl neglects this, after such repeated
adjurations. But does she herself say it
to the child, to the servant, to all about
the household who dc her service? Not
at all; if she did, there would be no
necessity for impressing it ON the mem
DRY of her children. 1t would grow into
their language until it would be as natu-
raj as yes" or mo" And as with this,
so also with all the little proprieties
which grace and gladden. life. If they
are not in use in the home they are apt
to be hid on State occasions; or if
brought forth at all, are apt to look so
suspiciously new and awkward as to tell
the story of their rare appearance, and
reveal the incivility behind them. Polite
ness costs nothing, and American So
cIety generally is lacking in it. Espe-
cially are the children of the present gen
Grafton, and not only children but young
men and women, lacking in that respect
for aged persons so proper in the young.
In this we have not advanced, but re-
ceded There is careless Indifference,
an ignoring of the presence, contemptu-
Gus treatment of old people by younger
ones, nowadays, of which we all ought to
be heartily ashamed. The first lesson
that children should learn is veneration
for age; and let them learn this, as they
learn the other graces, from the example
instead of the precept of their parents.
Children should be taught to speak
well of everybody. The child that al
ways has something evil to tell of others
will grow up, if left unchecked, that most
of all persOns-a back
bitter. Usually evil speaking is learned
at home, and when we hear child con-
fidentially slandering playmate we may
be pretty certain that this is but Il rcpc-
tition of something it has heard from
older persons. Let the child hear YOU
speak nothing but good of your neigh
bors, and so from association he will
learn to speak well of all
Finally, speaking for ourselves, we do
not believe in severity to children. The
father who governs by fear may control
his family perfectly while they are young,
but time will come when timidity will
uepart, anu tlcn MS power Is gone. IL,
instead of being stern ruler, he is the
friend and adviser of his
his influence does not cease
when they are beyond his physical gov
but extends through life. Ex-
pericnce will show, we think, that kind
ness, willingness to make allowances
for youth, Judicious praise when it is
possible to give it, and generally a dis
position on the part of the parents to
give children their time, confidence and
love, are better far than that cold Sc
verify which repels them and makes
hem eager to escape the presence and
observation of the father or mother
- Spare the rod and spoil the child"
though uttered by a wise man, was in
Bur estimation "a most erroneous con
clusiOn- Experience does not prove it
to be true, and experience is the best
guide for us.-Inter Ocean.
Lanes and FOOtpathS.