The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1874-09-09
Variety.

A~@y-
Colorado calls for more women. 1t has scarcely a
single one.
To ascertain the price of board-Rend lumber mar.
ket reports.
Who is the LATEST man? The furniture dealer he
keeps chairs and lounges about all the time.
A young lady fell overheard the other dsy during
yacht race She was picked up, and they called it
are-gOtta.
that belonged Eugenie Isabella is sadly wanting
in enterprise
Several people with guns moving through the
streets to-day there must be book agent in town.
DaHbury Eeas.
Buckiing the Nations Iron Belt is the best and
pthest description have yet seen Of the St. Louis
Bridge celebration.
How long viii my chop be, waiters" angrily asks
hungry man in a restaurant. About Eve inches,
sir, was the accurate reply.
The NewburypOrt Herald knows bachelor who
says he always looks to the hymenia department Of
that paper for the news of the week.
Dubuque, Iowa, has put girdle around one of its
cemeteries in the shape Of Thus does
the hOrseraoe embrace portion of the human race
that has been erased.
Now that the fare to Europe is reduced to such
low figure, why don't the thousands Of Europeans
here who are always abusing this country and every
thing in it. get up and get.-N. y. Nail.
The wapOkOneta, Ohio. Democrat says 1.-Two
men would study housekeeping as men study law,
medicine, and book keeping, there would be fewer
spoiled dinners and poorly done up shirts"
The Schenectady Star is responsible for the state
meut that a June bug, buEIing around in dark
wstertown parlOr, few against young lady's face
with such force become hOPelessly enangled in
her beau's mOustache.
"why did you leave your last placer inquired
young hOusekeeper about to engage new servant,
"wby you see ma'am.'' replied the applicant, Il
was too gOOd-loOking; and when opened the door
folks took me for the mssus."
An elderly maiden in LOckport. N. Y, purchased
one Of the Egyptian mummes at the Niagara Pals
Museum, the other day, for parlOr ornament. She
said it would seem better to have a around,
if he was advanced in life and wthered
1t is something unaccountable how these sober and
sedate old fellows their families have gone
10 the country to spend the heated term, commence
to their Sunday clothes every day, and to argue
that four hours sleep is all that the human frame
quires to be healthy.-Detroit Free Press.
Here is a specimen of Cleveland enterprise. A to-
bacoonst has placarded live turtle and placed it in
fountain in Of the public squares of that city The
Cleveland Herald with an eye to business, remarks
that there better way ofadvcrtsng. and that is
by placing the notice the back Of press turtle
young British Lieutenant. who has just gone to
UjTji, remarks Z" hear from the people here that
the Lualaba from Nyangwe goes into the MwOOtaw-
zige or Bahari UnyorO SO that it must be the Nile
after all" This cool, O-hand way of settling the
question Dr. Livingstone left unsettled after years Of
exploration.
am rich enough" says Pope to swift, 3" and
can afford to give away hundred pounds year. I
would not crawl upon the earth without doing little
good. will enjoy the pleasure of what give by
giving it alive. When I de- adds the poet, 81
should be ashamed to leave enough for a monument,
if there a wanting friend above the ground.
During recent hail-storm in New Jersey city
reporter standing in the doorway Of hotel was as
tonished to see huge lump Of ice weighing fully Eve
pounds. come crushing down upon the sidewalk.
N.Y." he cried, " see the hAilstOuep That hail
stone was extracted from refrigerator and dropped
out Of an upper window by some Of the wags Ofthe
house for the said reporters especial benefit.
A Chicago reporter paid his dentist in this way
"Dr. CrOute the well known aud popular dentist,
whose fame operator upon the human tooth is
widespread the heavens above is about leave
his immense practice for few days shooting in In
diana where the steady arm which has so often torn
the stsbbOrn moar from its resting place will direct
the fatal pellet upon the gentle WOOdcOck and fast
flying snipe."
If any scoundrel who values his neck wishes to
murder anybody, and wouldju as lief murder New
Yorker as Jerseyman, I would respectfully advise
him to cross the river on the feyboat if be and
come to Gotham. The ferrybOat is but three cents,
and he win save himself the disagreeabe experience
of being hsnged.-Ser York Letter.
How much our home comforts are dependent upon
the capacity of our servants finds daily illustration.
Old lady at a dinner party-0ld lady deaf and pro-
vided with ear trumpet-old lady interrogated BY
well mesning waitress, win she have squAshl"
Old lady irresponsiye, but extends trumpet
ward waitress who deposits squash therein and pas
ses on.
The catching Of frogs has become quite business
in Eastern Massachusetts,. According to aNewbury-
port newspaper, the frog fishery employs number Of
men IN that neighborhood. The market for them is
Boston, where the epicures like them as = change
after too many fish balls. One NeEburypOrt nan
has taken 600 frogs this season. making 200 hind
legs in al These creatures after capture, are kept
in tubs, faised with mehl, and forwarded to order