The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-05-08
B0sAw's SERMON.

BOsGW is enc OF the characters
In Edward Eggleston's q Hoosier
School-Master." We give below
an extract of one of his sermons.
Mr.. Egs lesion introduces Rev. Be-
saw as follows:
l find myself under the necessi-
ty-need-cessity the Rev. Mr.. b.
saw would call it-of rising to ex-
plain. Some people think the
Hardshells" q myth, and some
sensitive Baptist people at the
East resent all allusion to them.
But the " Hardshell Baptists," or,
as they are otherwise called, the
Whisky Baptists," and the SO For
ty-gallon Bsptists," exist in all
The old Western and Southwestern
States. They call themselves
Anti-means Baptists" from their
Antinomian tenets. Their eonfes-
sion OF faith is a caricature of
CalYinism, and is expressed by
their preachers about as follows:
:" Ell you're elected you'll be saw
ed; eff you amt, you'll be damned.
God'n take keer of his elect. It's
a sin to run Sunday schools, or
temp'rince Societies, or to send
missionaries. You let Gods bust
ness alone. What is to be will be.
and you can't bender it."
Then follows the sermon:
"You see, my respective hear
ers," he began-but alas! / can
never picture to you the rich red
nose, the seesawing gestures, the
nasal resonance, the sniffle, the
melancholy minor key, and all
that. "My respective hearers
ali, yeu see-ah as how-ah as my
tex-ah says that the ox-ah
knoWeth his oWner-ah, and-ah
the ass-ah his masters crib-ah.
A-h-h! Now, my respective
hearers ali, they're q mighty
sight of resemblance-aha tWext
men-ah and oxen-ah" be-
kase-ah, you see, men-ah is
mighty like oxeH-ah. Fer they's
a tremengious Difference - ali
atwixt deterrent oxel-ah, Jest as
thar is atwext different men-ah;
fer the OK knoWeth-ah his owner
All, and the ass-sh, his masters
crib-ah. Now, my respective
hearers-ah" 1.-THE preachers voice
here grew mellow, and the sue
ceeding sentences were in the most
pathetic and lugubrious voice
''you all know-ah that your hum
BILE speaker-ah has got-ah jest
the best yoke Of steers-ah in this
township-ah. They amt no
sech steers as them air two of
mine-ah in this whole kedentry
-ah. Them crack oxen over at
Clifty-ah ha'n't a patchin' to
mine-ah. Fer the OK knoweth
his owner-ah, and the ass-ah
his masters crib-ah.
snow, my respective hearers
ali, they's q right smart sight of
deference-ah atwext them air
two oxen-ah, jest like they is
atwext different men-ah. Fer-i
ali" There the speaker grew earn
est and sawed the air, from this to
the close, in a most frightful way
''fer--ah, you see-ah, when l go
out--ah in the mornin'-ah to
yoke-ah up-ah them air steers
-ah, and 1 says-ah, 'Wo, Berry
ali! NO, BeTTy-oh! Wo,
BERRY-AH!' why Berry-ah jest
stands stock still--ah and don't
hardly breathe-ah while put on
the yoke-ah, snd put in the bow
-ah, and put in the key--ah, fer,
my brethering-ah and sistering
-ah, the OK knoweth his owner
ali, and the ass--ah his masters
crib-ah. Hal-le-lu-ger-ah!
But-ah, my hearers-ah, but
-ah when 1 stand at t'other eend
of the yoke-ah, and say, Come,
Buck -ah! Come, Buck - ali!
CONE, BUcK-AH! COME, BUCK
l-AH!' why what do you think
an? Buek-ah, that ornery ole
Buck-ah, std of comm right
along-ah aad putin his neck
under-ah, acts jest like some
men-ah what is fools-ah. Buck
--ah jest kinder sorter stands of
-ah, and kinder sort puts his
head down--ah this ere way-ah,
and kinder looks mad--ah, and
says Boo-oo-oo-OO-oh!!"