Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-12-03

through with the motions think that he
is destined to make Rome howl.
Count Won Arnim is the most arrested
man in Germany. he doesn't care 30
much for the confinement, but the uncer-
tainty - to where he il going to eat >his
next meal begins to tell upon his consti.
tuition.
A bashful young clergyman recently
rising to preach for the drst time, made
q terrible mix of it and announced his
text in this wise: "And Immediately the
cock wept, and Peter went out and crew
bitterly"
Hewhu betraYs another's secret because
he has Quarreled with him, was never
worthy of the sacred name of friend; .
breach of kindness on the one side will
not justify = breach Of trust on the other.
The rural press begins to condole with
the poultry tribe, and the turkey, who
just now is. being feasted, is warned of .
coming feast At which he is to be present
feature of the occasion but incapable
of enjoying 1t.
II. Fillemont, French scientist, de-
clares that in literature and art nothing
great was ever praduced by q total ab.
stainer. IN this opinion N. Fillemont
will doubtless be sustained by intelligent
barkeepers everywhere.
Young man, never aspire. Remember
what happened to the fellow who hal
lo0ed Excelsior" 50. He was Z nice
young man, and had wealthy connections
But he wouldn't mind the old man, nor
heed the maiden who asked him to call
on her. Naturally he was frozen stiff
still shouting "Excelsior.'
It is a singular fact, but one well au.
thenticated, that an Indian never dreams.
He slumbers away like horse, and he
doesn't know what it is to dream that he
is riding out to spelling school with his
arm around the waist Of the handsomest
girl in town.
When Music, heavenly maid, was
young, she would have been startled, says
the London Echo, il not absolutely fright
ened from the world, could she have fore
seen the terrible prices her votaries would
have to pay TO hear the warbling of her
delicious strains. ,'>z7
A very insane man indeed is mention.
ed by Denver newspaper. He was
missed from his home, sixty miles east
of Cheyenne, and after long search, was
discovered in state of no clothing, nip
ping grass like Nebuchadnezzar. It 10
supposed that he fancied himself an OK;
or possibly he may be little queer upon
the two points Of dress reform and veg
etable diet.
Fhe Figaro reports Z little game Of the
Paris tailors. The tailor SAYS to his GUS
toner: "Sir, I had the honor to see YOU
at the marriage of Mr.. So.and-so. The
coat made for you needs little change.
Naturally the gentleman sends the coat.
and few days after the tailor returns it,
but no change has been made, only ithas
been worn by gentleman who had to
have coat for that night and there was
no time to make one.
A man in Springfield, Massachusetts,
finding that he was z confirmed cot, una
bio to make an effort at reform, bought Z
bottle of bad whiskey, drank it at . sin.
gle brief sitting and Immediately joined
the total abstinence society which meets
beneath the sod. The Republic sees in
this IN example worthy OF the emulation
of other sots, and says: "Let them under
stand that the public expects every drunk
ard to do his duty, and to drink himself
promptly, quietly and efectually to
DEATH"
John Henry's father.in.law, aged 65,
took it into his head to get his life insur.
ed. but, sir, you are too old for US to
take the risk" said the agent. "Why 30 ~
queried the old man. because speedy
death is too sure q thing" well I've
been looking at your tables" said the f.
ther.in.law. "and find there amt one
man dies At my age to hundred that die
Younger" The insurance agent couldn't
see it, but John Henry says It's good log.
ic and he'll back the old man for fifty
years yet.
The fireman Of the steam heating appa.
ratus At the Central depot yesterday found
. penny - he was Iaking over the hot
ashes in the furnace, and he took it up
with the tongs and placed it on = bench
outside to cool of. It had hardly CON-
menced to cool when = heavy man man,
ed johnson, living in Saginaw, came
along. He was talking business with .
friend, and as he came to the bench he
parted his coatsails and eat down on the
penny, remarking: AS I was saying,
you can have forty acres for-whoepE
Thunder and blazes-ouch-dash it
gosh TO whoop" He galloped around
in wild amazement, the hot penny stick
ing to him like Z brother, and it was two
or three minutes before any one found
out whether he had dropped down on q
tack or been bitten by dog. There was
: heavy aroma Of burning cloth and biis: