, 1874-08-09
FRONZ GRAVE TO GAX.

| FROM GRAVE TO GAX.
| It is said tie new ccnyerls at Bald Mountain
have gone back to card -plarug since the volcano
! proved failure.
a farmer in Wyoming County is thinking d
going to Colorado, aud writes to 4 friend that le
| would - like to find some widow like tho one
| named Ruth, who for a second husband married
a chap with tile absurd cnSnonlen Of Boaz and
who is ready Like ler to say, Where thou go
West niu co."
Some time since Father 1gEatius Was about to
preach at . weu-Lnown chureh. 4 popular b. ymn
Of Watts was sung before the sermon. aud when
it ended the preacher repeated slowly the last
line, '' Demands my Eoul, my life, my all," add
ing, tWcll, surprised TO lear you alnS that.
Do you Enou that altogether you onlyput fifteen
shlIlin5s into the bag this morning !"-Ch1rch
Nerd;I. = -
The Western clergyman vino preached ser-
mon IN .biilia,d-sa'oon 1uala nnletaen points,
and had just gos warmed up to h!a work when
the proprietor entered and told him 10 - run
out
4 Milwaukee man Snt dcspoadert tho other
day, and wound mp his ideas OF 4 hereafter on 4
near raiter.--Ser York: Commercial Adccr.iscr.
Here is an obituary gem from the death
column Of the ShelI Rock AllEn. Enterprise:
Where tie in5-tiEao grasses ware
Fragrant bre:1ea uuW Sigh low, ah,
Dar6s ~toye NY Erzn3.ia grave.
Tho venerable DR.. Tying rebnkeH habit in
which le says some ctergymen indulge. viz: He
has seen ono take llis quli OF toDacoo from his
mouth before prayer in . hiGhlv-huial1ed pulpit
aud 1av is on tho marble slab, and, after pray
i1,g. put it in Lis month again. The Herald; and
prfSlyf14' says: a. Ii the Doctor IL simply for
preserving the slab from dehlenlent, wo can sus-
I,ri,i
knew. Before going into church he put hi5 qud
into crevice in the brick wall, and after service
took TO- chewing il again.
The Rev. Mr.. Parry; the eccentric English
preacher Of Worcester, alass-, whose peeu!iarl
ties have been 80 often quoted, occupied tie pull
pit Of the Fourth Congregational Church et
Ills scrmon he suddenly paused and placed hia
ha1,d oyer tbs region of tile t1oart. .Tlere was
pane there" said he; '.as though INV heart
were in the gripe Of great lobste1-claw." Ho
n";fe i0Gfed 1s It, o@a 81 ~! aHs Hs
place for mosquitoes" Hc went on to sag that
he shouldn't know TINT he had a heart or hands
without such reminders.
! one~legged soldier, a Mormon. recently asked.
Brigham Young 70 supply, By a miracle, tie
missing limb but the Apostle not to be caught,
made this 1epy:'' eau in an instant produce
new leg in the place Of the old one, but then.
you see. il do, it willcauso great Inconvenience
Ia you in heaven; for after your exaltation to
glory, the original leg will como back to the
spiritual body; mine also being Of Divine origin,
hou very awkward 4 three-lcggod angel from
Utah Ton!d appear among the inhabitants of the
The following is said to De popular song in
Duluth: : r
Becssteat VIXEN I'm hungry,
Whisky When I'm dry,
Greenhccks whan 1'G1 hard mp,
And Heaven wheu die.
4 Columbia clergyman Who, while preaching
sermon on Sunday evening, perceived g man
and woman under tho gallery in the act Of kiss
ing each other behind a'hymn-book, did not lose
his temper. No! he relnained calm. He bea:ned
mildly al The Offenders over his spectlcles, aud
when the Young man kissed her the fifteenth
tiu1e he merely broke his sermon short OF in
tue middle Of "thirdly." and offered fervent
PRAYER in behalf of :. the young man in the pink
neck-tie and the maiden in the blue bonnet and
gray shawl. who serc protaning tho sanctuary
hy Kissing one another IN pew 7S." And the con-
grcgation said "Amen." Then the woman pulled
her veil down. and the Young rnan va. there and
swore softly 70 him.elf. He does not 81 to
church 81 much now as he did.
A Scotch newspaper relates that - beggar
rlfo, Gil 1ece1vinc gra.iuty from the Rev. John
Skinner, Of Langxide, author OF TuliochXoFum,
saitl to him by way Of thanks. ''Oh, sir / houp
that ye aud a your family will be in Heaven the
NIGHT" '*Wel." said skinner, - / an rery much
obliged to you; only you naod no. have, jus:
been 80 pa.tlcak klr IS 10 the time"
DIR. Fl. Wac preaching On tho crucsdxiop, and
in the course Of hts discourse had 20 worked
upon the HyElpath:es OF kis :auntors that many
were in tears. After dwelling tae cruelty OF
that mode OF punish zneut, the Doctor apoko Of
the malefactor crnclded at tho 6Ariors right
hand, who Ras 30 blessed as to receive pardou-
!. Brothers and sistera,'' said no, ':-8ho among
us would not glye ali he poasnKes to-dny to be-
tins favored? l wouid giro tcr thouzznd worlds
If could have beea there and been that thief
Yes" continued he. after moment's pause. a. It
to effect, 81 would give eleven thouAand!" The
effect upon the 'auttonca at tais additional bid
may la lmagiued.-AGeancc.
An eminent arclao!og;st. after studying dsep-
II into the mysteries tia. have for vears sur
fonndcd the spouse Of Cain and tho fate Of Lots