The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-04-15
2 SCRAPS.

y called "belated sisters" 3
A marriage on q railway trait
may properly be termed q railway
tis.
Thepssent Office has just report
ed favorably Oh three new kinds
Of eorkscrews.
John A. Randall, Of. Chenango
was recently beguiled Of q finger
by deceitful buzz saw.
Prsyed out of town. are the
w9sdsnailed ON the doors Of sever
NJ aIsa!oohs at Xenia, Ohio.
An exchange says woman's
sphere is marriage. We never saw
one yet that had any tear about it.
When the boys in Virginia City
wish to raise their kites they tie the
string to dogs tail, and make the
!, animal ruin.
A kiad lady in Danbury recently
s gave beggar half dozen paper
collars, with the advice to turn
them aud chalk the edges.
Oae thing, said an old topper, was
never seen coming through the rye,
sad that's the kind OF whiskey one
gets nowadays.
A Brooklyn sewing society fines
any member who talks scandal, 81
for each offence; only the wealthy
are able to attend.
Dio Lewis ia the man who kept
"a Utica audience until 1880, ex-
planning to them the good results
,of going'to bed promptly at 8.
b. When the Indians catch a bald
headed man they cut of his ears to
compensate for the loss of scalp.
cad it's about as we'll to be scalped.
Fsxas judges are accommodating
,fsilows. One of them who fined a
man three hundred dollars, took a
twsnty-dollsr mule, aud called it
square.
An indianapolis father shot six
tines at a supposed burglar, and
.'wse 'sstonishcd to hear the fellow
ask, "Whazzer mazzer, fazzer?
'whszzer doing?"
"F a naughty girl should hurt
you, Like q good girl you would for
give her, wou uldn't youw eyes,
marm," she replied, "it I couldn't
catch her." "' :
The Danbury philosopher OBJ
serves that the placidity Of express
sion worn by man who:is "next"
in q full BARRIERS shop cannot be
counterfeited.
1t is no longer,the vulgar title of
ssdrunkenness," but rather the po-
. lite and expressive title Of "dipso-
mapia," by which the evil is now
. to be known.
= The compositors on the Atlanta
Constitution want to charge for pic
lures the same as realing matter.
They call it fat take, but the pro-
prietors say it's too thin.
:. Conscience doth make towards
of US all. particularly of Michi-
gander, who, on being arrested for
larceny, promptly confessed to bur-
,'glary, bigamy and intsnticide.
A Chicago man wrote to Agassiz
that be had an apple which he had
preserved for tifty-three years, and
when Agassiz wrote forit, the joker
said it was the apple Of his eye.
: A good work ID really in prog
ress smong men who have sold Ii
duor Tor years: Many are gaining
victories over themselves, and such
victories are the grandest that can |,
:1,be achieved. -. i.
a Pittsburgh woman says that
one thousand reporters souls could
dance upon the point of a needle.
This Question of the size Of angels
souls was frequently discussed by
the medieval monks.
The difference between having a
tooth properly drawn by profes-
sional surgeon, and having it
knocked out uaiscellaneously By a
fall on the pavement, is only slight
distinction-one is dental and the
other accidental. .. j..
ga man who was buried at Den
yer eighty-one years ago, was ex-
hymed the other day and found to
be petrifed. His grandchildren
have made arrangements to exhibit
the stone at ten cents admission"
This is 3 nice story to send clrcula-
ting through the newspapers.
Where was Denver eighty-one
Years ago?
A. modest young husband sent ,
the following message over the
wires to frie ads in this city the other d
day: "See ninth chapter of Isaiah,
sixth verse; The dusty old Bible
was hauled down in an instant, and
the above chapter and verse were r
hunted out and found to explain r
all. The verse reads, "For unto us t