The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-08-28

4
ment Of their bills and are glad 10
them.
The only duke at Saratoga this year
is knock-kneed old chap eighty-two
years old, and the girls can't love him
no how.
The cost Of the new government
building in Cincinnati, the plans Of
which are now being drawn, will be S3,-
500, 900.
The poet OF the Sierras IN not fan
cied in London, because he carries too
much Of the mountain soil in his ears
and elsewhere.
I'm Virginia City, a male Indian
dressed as n squav, is frequently seen.
| He is forced TO wear female attire as n
| punishment for cowardice.
| A Louisville negro who ate a water
melon at dark was killed by the cars
before midnight, showing that in the
midst of watermelons we are IN death.
They have "the Morning German"
at Long Branch. Dancing there be-
| tween ten and eleven o'clock every fore
noon, and is continued for two or three
hours.
A boy at Rye Beach did not know
IL was loaded, and the result is a one
eyed hotel clerk. The boys father has
| magnanimously headed n subscription
list for the one-eyed.
The other day, when a Georgia man
was being sentenced to execution, he
remarked Judge, yer an old hoss in
ten acre lot, anu shan't hold any
grudge agin ye.
Many Of the chickens they give you
at the restaurants are called spring
chickens because they live through the
fall and winter, and are starved and
smothered to death in the spring.
An hourpassed on-the Turk awoke.
He had been sleeping in front Of q gro
Gerry in Cairo, and as he got mp he pulled
out revolver and wounded three men,
saying Somehow, / don't feel lively
to-day"
The girl who generally writes her
name in n straw hat and marries n mill
lionaire through its influence hasn't
beer heard of this year. The million
aire was probably married before the
hat came out.
An mp country woman gave birth TO
four children last week. When her
husband protested she whimpered out,
" Shadrach, you know how these reaper
accidents are reducing the population
of Wisconsin. SeIlttpcS.
"A new game has been started in the
mountains called "granger seven-up."
Three persons play for can OF oysters.
The first man ont gets the oysters, the
last the can, and the middle-mRn"
don't get anything.
Chicago women are cool. When a
husband is brought home dead his wife
doesn't utter a single howl until she has
searched his pockets and satisfied her
self that he hadn't any letters from any
other women, then she gives way TO her
grief.
"A Missouri clergyman, riding along,
told the seven men under n shade tree
to "put up them kerds an 60 10 think
ing about religion" but they laughed
at him. Along came a thunder storm
pretty soon, and flash killed the whole
no, killed the preacher, and the seven
sinners escaped.
"A John Bull who had been intro
duced TO the Emperor OF Russia kept
paciup a steamers deck, exclaiming
!" The Gar is great the Gar is great
eyes" said bystander, "but God is
ooh, to be sure, was Bulls
reply; "but then, you know, the Gar
is young yet.
Patti is described as wearing a
wonderful array Of diamonds in I'll
Trovatore." In one scene he has n
coronet, necklace. girdle. bands, rings,
n diamond bird and butterfly Tor the
hair, and n diamond bouquet Tor the
bosom. No wonder that she is said 70
glitter from head 10 foot"
-"I once knew gentleman" said
Thackeray. "a very worthy practitioner
Of Vanity Fair, who used 10 do little
to his neighbors on purpose,
md in order TO apologize for them in an
open and manly way afterward. SO
my friend was liked everywhere, very
mpetuous, but the honestest fellow"
The New York Mail says Of tho
transfer of Frank Walworth 10 an in
zane asylum "This was 10 save him
rom falling into a demented state OF
with which he was threat
med. The transfer from the hospital,
where he has been confined, 10 the asy-
um, was made on the recommendation
If DR.. Ordrinaux.
California always comes in with the
pest story. Not long ago a break was
discovered in one Of the large reservoirs
# the Bliss brothers, at Indian Hill,
md in the absence of any other appli-
alton at hand, r. II. Bliss threw the
20 pounds of his own flesh and blood
nto the gap and held the water until It
vas drawn off by the gate.
-Bismarck's boy is well-nigh as
ormidable as his iron sire. He has
ust distinguished himself by making
arpet of the abdomen of an infantry
,ficer of the German army. The shoot
no was done in an affair OF "honor,
nd was a natural result Of the military
ustom of carrying the horror in the
bdomen.- CouTter-.JOlIT7ldt
Tennessee has eight universities
nd ifty-one colleges Ohio nine uni
ersities and thirty-three colleges Mis-
ouri two universities and thirty-seven
o,leRes, and the little state OF Mary
and TIVE universities and nineteen col
eyes. Nor is Pennsylvania an e1cep-
ion, for she has no less than six univer-
tiles and thirty-three colleges.
No doubt Miss Jones, Of Norris
OWN, Pa, would have dreamed Of sec
lg her future husband after placing
iece of wedding cake under her pillow
ne other night IL she hadn't eaten two
lates of ice cream, pint OF strawber-
les and couple of large pickles before
Ding 10 sleep. She prefers remaining
ingle than TO marry the man she saw.
-Cyrus w. Field and DIR. Hayes,
ho are TO attend the Iceland celebra-
on, have received commission from
ne of the New York daily newspapers
make thorough examination Of the
land with reference TO its geography,
abits Of the people and other condi-
ons and information of interest to tho
,ientific world.
This is how IL happened down in
yuth-west Missouri:
He found a rope aud picked II up,
And with ii walked away;
II happened that 10 tother end
> lorse was hitched, they say.
They found tree and tied the rope
Unto a swinging limb.
IL happened that the other end
Was somehow hitched TO him.
Germans do not rise 80 hastily from
10 table as we for time with them is
1t 80 precious life is not 90 crowded;