Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-11-11
Wit and Wisdom.

comb. -
AN affair of the heart-the circulation
of the blood.
NOTHING comes home so much to q
man as an unsettled bill.
The highest compliment to a barber
he dyed and made no sign.
The best method of constructing
dam-wlthOut an g n.
The vilest sinner may return-every-
thing save an umbrella.
ALL people should be allowed to do
as they please when they please to do
| right. f.n'
GRAVITY is no more evidence of wis
dom than a paper collar is of shirt
A LIE has no legs, and cannot stand;
but it has wings and can fly far and
wide. -" 10
He that does good for goods sake
seeks neither praise nor reward, though
sure of both. si...
1t is proposed that men who are bald
headed have their monograms painted
On the bare spot.
On! what blessing it would be If we
humans could turn away our mind s eye
as we can our physical.
GIVE need not be ashamed of that now
which we are sure we will not repent of
when we come. to die.
TwENIY-FoUR HOURS make one day,
but it takes fourteen days to make one
night-that is, one fortnight r..r
HUMBUG," once said the satirical
Pope, sis the grand winner OF all
things, and the great conqueror of
men ~
" Observation-Disclosures oFTHE PRESS"
is Dom Piatt's phrase for hotel dead
heads, and very good phrase it is
Boston Globe.
How can unity of purpose and action
be preserved at boat races when the men
all look in one direction and pull in
another.
A PENNSYLVANIA baby is said to have
inherited the eyes and nose of his faith
er, but the cheek of his uncle, who an
insurance agent
'THE honeymoon is well enough
said prudent belle, "but what I want
to see beyond that is the promise Of
fine harvest NOON"
Four in hand-How much? Toll
keeper-Well, we charge a shullin' for
a showman's carriwan. I suppose you're
something in the circus line.
A YOUNG MAN in Frisco embezzled a
diamond to pay his tailor bill. Tailors
are at liberty to cut this out and send it
to their customers.
MISSISSIPPI is singularly blessed in
some of the land in that State is so poor
that disturbance could not be raisedo on
it. ~
JUST keeping it lighted for another
boy" is the latest juvenile invention
when a mother suddenly comes upon
her little boy with lighted cigar in his
mouth.
In giving geography lessons down
East, teacher asked boy what State
he lived in, and was amused at the re-
ply, drawled through the boys nose:
:" "A state OF sin and misery
A PERSON was boasting that he was
from high family. Yes,'' said by
stander, ''Ihave seen some Of the family
SO high that their feet could not touch
the ground. %
| Boston has a sock-darning society Of
young ladies, or old maids, who take up
the "stitch in time for bachelors. It is
presumable that at the close of each
session the docksology is sung.
The sensitive boy lives in Delaware.
He arose at midnight, footed it half-sa-
mile, awoke a store clerk, and bought
fine comb. He didn't wantto have any
ono baor him och for r.
THERE was a young woman named
Hannah, who behaved in frivolous
manner; while her pa stood in prayer,
she put tacks ID his chair; which he sat
on, and cus-sed his Hannah,
A CONVERTED liquor compounder has
been divulging the secrets of his pro-
fession. Now, if a corner groceryman
could be got to the mourner's bench
what world of good he might do.
A spREAD-EAGLE barber announces
that he is Professor of Crinicultural
Abscision and Genealogical Tripsis.
It is not often that four such high
priced words get into single sentence.
A LADY being on yacht during a
sqnall, was Mortified at the unseemly
levity of the Captain, who told her that
"Things was all square," when she
could see with her own eyes that he
meant that everything was III wreck
tangle.
A MAINE paper is publishing list OF
all the accidents by drowning during
the last forty or fifty years and the lit
tie boys are greatly impressed by 1t,
and frequently read the said chronicle
while waiting for their hair to dry after
they have come out of the river.
A STREET BEGGAR in New York says
the panic has ruined him. His collec-
tions, he, says, have dropped to So a
day but he don't care SO much about
that, but rents have fallen 80 per cent.
and he had two houses and three stores
/ or this rodunfinn