American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-11-14

and information of our lady readers, bu
| unfortunately the steamer that will speet
this to America Will leave this port thi
| afternoon at an early hour.-Res. j. l.
.1thinsoa, III Dnju7us Times.
The Danger of Learning How to Pro
nOunee Don QuixOts.
| He was up in the finest sanctum il
America yesterday and he said: "Can
you tell me the name of that famous
| Spanish romance, Don-Don-how stu
pid. l know it as well as | know you
Don-Don--"
We laid down our graphite in despair.
Here he was again. We unused Il moment
or two before we answered him, calling
up the faces and names of the many
donkeys who had preceded him at differ
ent times. There was one flat faced fel-
low whose whole intellectual force was
barely able, by the most powerful con
ccntration, to grapplc the intricate liter
AIRY problem which we knew the gifted
being who had just questioned US was
about to explode. Then there was Il
lawyers clerk who brooded over the
same thing day and night until it had
become ii mania with him, and he would
stop IA man in the street to tell him what
the smiling piece of complacency was
going to tell us There was young
man who sung tenor in a church choir
and had solos at the charity concerts,
aud felt that he ought to rank in the
literary world along side of Shakespeare
and Byron and Thackeray because, by
giving his whole mind to it, he had be-
come able to do what this genius who
stood smiling at US was just about to
do. We know you have guessed it by
this time, for we know you have met
him. He is ubiquitous. There is one
of him in every town and ward in
the country. He has inflicted his one
accomplishment on you as he has on us,
OH how many dreary hundreds of times.
So we walked from our sad, sad reverie
and looked up at the smiling ass shipper
ing beside US. We knew just what he
wanted US to say, and we determined to
say it and get through with it, for we
knew he would hang around for ten
years but what he would compel us to
say it. When these fellows used to
come in on us in this way we use to re-
spond, sadly enough:
Don Kwixot?'
"How?" the ass would invariably re
ply, "Don Kwixot? no, that is not it.
All, yes, ha, ha, | have it now-Donky
hoty Donky hoty. How was it you pro-
nounced it," And then he would tell
us how it should be pronounced and go
away, one great broad shipper of COM
pacency. He did not know, nor did the
one who came at us yesterday, i'll all the
good Lords broad world of fact, and
fancy and thought, and knowledge, and
boundless ideas and truths, one other
single, solitary thing but this, not one
thing. This ones name was George, and
when he writes it he begins, or did begin,
it with little j, and he told his mother
that Fred. Grant married Sister-in-law
~ d. ,N.~l.r
gresham from this district. But he was
pat on that Donky hoty," and we knew
it before he opened out on us.
Well, we had never met the one in
Burlington until yesterday, although we
were positive there was one here And,
as we know by our sad, fearful expert
encc in the past, as soon as man
learns to say "Donky hoty" he runs
around with his new accomplishment
and bangs it away at every man he
meets. But we determined to resist this
one. We steeled our soul to encounter
his attempt to torture us with a flood of
his incomprehensible wisdom and
Astounding knowledge with a stern and
unrclenting cruelty. So when he said,
"Oh, YOU know what | mean, Dop-
Don-oh, dear he, how stupid, Don"
We asked:
"Who is the author?"
why" he said, Cervantes. What is
the name of that book: Don-Don-
why, don't you know"
We looked him firmly in the eye and
said slowly and distinctly, with the ac-
cent which we had learned from hun
dreds of his predecessors:
"Donky hoty."
We would have given worlds to have
it unsaid, but it was too late. The broad
glare of insufferable conceit died out of
his face, he felt his head in ii bcwildcred
way that touched our heart, and he
CROPPED feebly toward the door. We had
calculated correctly. The man who says
9" Donky hoty" never calculates on your
saying anything but 81 Don kwiXot," and
the shock had proved too much for this
poor ass. We waited until his last fall
terlng footstep died on the stairs, and we
leaned out of the window to look at his
pale, horror-stricken face and see him
for breath. The revulsion had
been too great, and his massive brain,
having been checked in the very act OF
all its immense stores of knowl-
edge, was trembling on the very verge OF
insanity. Some demon must have DOS
seSsed our heart, for we leaned out OF the
and with malignant and fiendish
cruelty shouted after him:
"Donky hoty, You walking encyclopc-
dia; Donky hoty!"
That last shot fetched him. He rceled
over into the gutter and died with hol-
low groan, and as we saw the coroner
come down and roost on him we smiled
IA wierd, unearthly smile.-Burltngton
UaUG- Eye.
Any number of figures you may wish
TO multiply by will give the same result
if divided by "a much quicker opera
ton; but you must remember to annex Il
D to The answer when there is no re
mainder, and when there is IL remainder,
whatever it may he, annex IL > TO the an
swer. Multiply AGA by ), and the answer
will he :, 800; divide the same by2 and you
will have 2322, and rs there is no remainder
You add 0. Now take 359; multiply by
), the answer is 1888; and dividing thus
by ,, there is l19 and II remainder; you
therefore place , at the end of the line
and the result is again ,19j
A little boy couldn't remember the
text exactly, but thought it was some
thing about II hawk between two pig
cons. 1t was, "Why halt we between
two opinions