, 1874-09-06
TIE CHURCH YEAR.
a Despairing Young Man.

| wlero ia the best~ta1ed member Of his COM
| munity. in oue matter religious and secular
| governments ars eIke,-both need money to run
them. Unha?pily filthy lucra enters into every
| feeling. exalted or humble OF the average hu-
| man heart. Patriotism, however noble, lore,
however fervid, piety, however pure, oil make q
retroSrate moyenlent-if they do not absolutely
run away-before tie stern front OF the enemy.
The direct and Indirect taxes paid to the General
State, County, and City Governments are as
nothing compared to tho direct md indirect
tribute paid by the NAH chutch-goer in the way
OF purchasing tickets, and otherwise expendng
money, for cnurch-festiynls, picn;cs, excursions
oyster-suppatB, aud concerts. These are
An ENDLESS BOUND.
One succeeds tho other oven as heir-apparent
succeads the dofunct monarch, 30 that there ia
absolutely NO iutorregnu1n. Tho ladies' ara Of
course, the tax-gathercrs, and most oppressive
ones they are. The harL-fisted citizen who
would feel no scruple in '' standing OF the City
or County-Collcctor fur month or SO, soes no
avenue Of escape from Immediate payment when
his orthodox ledy friends come down upon him
With a bundle Of tickets for some plous eater
prise. It is 3 constant shower, and the industry
Of the fair Prosecutors is only equaled by their
ingenuity in discovering new means whererith
to bring reluctant dollars from pockets
worn threadbaro by hands that know no
rest from giving to the cause.
Man cannot conquer fato !; neither can be say
No" to the ladies who fight aud beg beneath
the awful shadow Of the church. Well may the
pious and prudent male citizen tre1nble when he
beholda b spiritual petdcoat darkening the door
way OF his Office. Eer black droBs-eho alwa5s
wears b1ack--means "No quarter" and the un-
happy man surrendors without the skeleton OF 3
resistance.
TIE CHURCH YEAR.
Thompson made 1.-The Seasons immortal in
poeay tho ladies' OF the church make them
memorable BY around Of entertainments perfect
II beRildering TO contemplate. They come in
regular order, lio the reserves OF Q 6torming-
party supporting the forlorn hope.
Spring~tine and early summer inangurato
TIE 1cE-CnEAM AND STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL.
Those gather around them, Like bees around
uoney-pot, tho youth and age Of both s.xcs.
Ouly ono sex is, however, permitted the proud
privilege OF spending money. The religious
man, on tha night Of festival, finds himself &c
quainted with moro Ladies' than he ores dreamed
OF knowing before. Tho pious fair ones care
Fe-T little, indeed, about strawberries and ico-
cream, which arc no Novelties to them; the OBJ
ject is to make the males support the church in
an indirect and moro pleasing form. Father,
undor contribution in this maune7, aud, I
Is tho festival generally lasts week, |
the drain upon tho financial resources
especially upon those Of young. men
alarming. Adonis generally comes out OF the
ordeal feeling llka a bankrupt, and calculating |
how much loyo and doyo.ion are AL ounce. Oa !
tho old gentlemen. who hava plenty Of money, |
and vito need not grudgo spending it for i |
worthy purpose, the i.1ation falls with compare
tive lightncEs, go thst theJ deserve not the sym
pathy OF tbs heathon in our midst They nny !
console themselves With the cheerful nphorism: |
s. Whose givoth to the poor lendeth to the Lord"
When the thermometer begins to mark 90 de- |
grees, the days OF the festival arc on tina vane> |
Ihcn lake brcezc5 and the urabrngeous protcc-
tion Of the rural tres arc dear to tho heart OF |
man, and this longing is taken advantage Of by
Inc trelcss females whose labors keep the church
:oGarB we'll flied.
r1cSIcs AND EXCURSIONS
aro organized, and tickets are circulated by the
thousand. OF course they arc priced above tho
value Ct tho entertainment. but what does that
natter? Does not the end Justify tho means'
IEhat tho secular world might be tempted to |
all eztortion, tho religious world looks upon
Tith an indulxent eye, The excursion business
9 run through tho hot summer months with
more or less proht,-genera11y more,-and tho
slll be about the last Of bis religious expo
fences in the financial line. Vain hope!
New surprises await hin,-ncw modes Of indi-
ect|y increasing tho revenues Of the church.
'hc warmer dsYs ara ended; autumQal zephyrs |
70 breathing low and COOL,
TIE GREAT AfEErc4y OYSTER
springing to the front, aud tho religious !
1outh opens to ougcK tho bivalre, and To
,ako fresh haul on the spare change of tho
nd tho bivalso, in ell stages OF rawncss and
ookerJ, Is presented to the citizen for rnastica-
ion and deSutition. Ho leaves tue sceno of
,stlyity with = senso Of deep gratitude, for,
IT this year at lcast." Another deluaion mockery,
nd snare. Els troubles have not fairly coul-
.enced. Hitherto bis tria!s have been confined
feastins and picnicking; he has no idoa OF what
is ears must suffer when the leaves have fallen,
I'D the first sr0w-rakcs begin to descend.
Mlnter 1s tho scaaon set apart BY the church ! I
Idies for thai peculiar entertainment known az
TAc. kACRED CONCERT"
is al amateur affair from first to last. Tho =
ectlons, generally speaking, are aboro tho !
pacitles OF the singers and the divine melodies 2
the great masters gro frequently rendered in !,
9 most heartle3s manner. This process is rc- '
'atcd several nights during tho season, and y
,ally becomes tremendous boro, from which :
o citizen il orly released by the pericdicai ro-
IN OF =
TIE CHURCH FA1n,
1ich divides with the concert tho colder nor u
N OF tho year. Who does not know ths fair, .
IN lta array OF pen-~ipers, and slippers, and q
her wonderful things in leather, silk, and 3
'ol +; tho pos.-otlca where ono pays extra post g.
3 for lottors WHICH arc not always interesting e
o Jacobs Well TO which one sad lesson in o
rts ghost Of = shadow of ! pang Of q sub | :,
id flavor, and tho cako in which one taEes Il
anccs tho 5atch o. cane which is voted for
: the most prominent member Of the church :,
C sewing g-mschlno which is raflad of aud the q
md where tho baked bcaus with too much mo- = =
aes, aud brown brc2l which il too Boggy, lie n
wait for their victims. He who kno1Ts not u
ESQ things is to be avoided. His life is Like u 4:
1t of one yho lives whoro mosquitoes arc IN u
own and fala bits not. P.
Eat the fair dies at last. end j. succeeded by e
icccrca2 festival, which, III turn, is foiIo1.od tc
the 1icnc and excursion season, and 70 On, q u
Z" tbs house that Jack b;1i!t." u
THE SYNONYM OF 1SDUsTn7. so
Thus it r.it bo seen that not tho little busy 81
:. ncr yet the proyident squirrel, nor Jet the q!
sting mt, nor tho imrcrlous spider, is tho a.
st irelcsa Of all created thiogsit is tho lady q
c1bar Of tho church. esao IS tho champion OF ~
ustry and tho fountain Of inyentiveness. Her CT
Il never elackens her brain never tres hor "a
J is ro7or awakened for the citizen whom her III
Sous charity MAKES melancholy man. What 90
tiers it to her If Le7 secular ua.e nc
.uds wear long faces ct her comius 80
n!:soni is 10 build up her church to enstaln 90
to keep it from bankruptcy, to t2
anizc new missions, and to support them.