The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1874-08-13
The Sort OF Bridegroom an oia
EactclOr NaACs.

The Sort OF Bridegroom an Oh
Bachelor Makes.
n. london letter from Prentice Milford IN Tie can
Francisco Bu!lci!ntJ
am still married and intend remaining
so for so me months 10 come. But marriage
il fearful and risky business. NO one
knows what may turn up on either sac.
Temper and temperament are such pccuiiar
things. However. all AZ yet Is quiet on inc
Potomac. The marriage service mas never
been fully written out. People VINO marry
dnu'l know what they are promising. Inc
bond should read You promise 10 take
This man or this woman for life; you
must not after this walk or talk
with any other woman, il YOU are a
man. or any other man, if you are
= womsp. save in the most circumspcct
and guarded manner; you must not be-
come interested in any othe: woman; II you
,r,. interested. YOU must not show it; you
mist consider your wife or your husband a
the iucomparable man or woman in the uni
verse: there must be none other like unto
him or her; if there br. or you think there
lac. Won must, if possible. not believe it, or
,ry not to believe it; you must now be
wholly devoted to each other; you must also
novc Inv aside all remembrance at your old
h,mr>. YOU mutt get rid OF The idea that you
eyer Ind any REGARD for them: if you had.
Won must try and make yourself believe YOU
had not, ard il such Il notion will stick to
YOU, Won must never mention 1t 10 each
other. or there will be Il row.
Young man and young wCmap, you think
that lh,. divine inIGXicution Of cnurt>hip is
10 last forever. You think il is always going
To he III cc-tatc pleasure TO tlud2e mile
through mud and rain TO buy Serapiine
Anne a paper Of pins. But this state Of
things can't last. It's too high pressure. 1t
must cool down. When you are married,
and she is yours and you are hers, and the
novelty Of the affair is over, and you are
fairy settled downInto "old married folks"
then Comes the test. Then, if you have been
4 Grabbed old bachelor, full Of little whms,
habits, and peculIaritcs. is is the fretiul por-
cupnc of quilts, then will come the tug of
war. Don't YOU rpcollcct how, when single,
and YOU came hemc after some tedious bu>i-
ness. heated, tired. irritable, and disgust
ed with the world, and got alone in
your room, that YOU used to fling books
and blackiug- brushes about, and swear and
thrash around for al hour or two before you
simmcred down into comparative calmness:
Well, matrimony WON'T cure tni>-at least at
first. But you mustn't cut up 50 now. Even
4 TEMPORARY raving maniac is not 4 proper
or a pleasant person for any young woman
to he shut up alone with. And if, on enter
ing, she sees trouble written on your face
aud asks YOU, "WhaL'S the matter" and
YOU reply, "Oh, nothing" because you
don't want 10 be spoken TO, and above all
things. Il annoys and irritatcs you to be so
Intercepted. aud still she persists in asking.
"Wbat's the mattcrH and still you try TO
say, "Oh, nothing as mildly as you
can. only it won't be SAID mildly,
and it comes off your tongue as
a pistol-shot, and you would just then like
10 bite somebody's head Off. Oh, wort you
at such time wonder where the amiabity,
the oil, the sugar, the honey, the sunshine Of
cnurtShp has all gone to: And how will you
iccl-you who have been accustomed to 90
in ard out of your vile bachelors den with
out Inquiry or hindrancc: How will you
feel AS YOU start to 20 out for the purpose OF
ucttin" drink around the corner. TO hear
her say, "Whcre are you going -: and this Il
dozen times Il day. and every tim" it is asked
YOU must stand and rack your brains for Il
new lie.
But | have learned Il great deal during my
short matrimonial career. would not have
remained single if only for the sake Of the
information I've gained. | know now. in
the first place, that ones wife is never in the
least wong. Ii there's Il row, it's you, all
YOU. every bit your fault. You may labor
bv the hoUr trying 10 make her own up that
there being one pound aroirdupois or Six
teen ounces of blame between you, you
are wiling TO take fifteen ounces of
that blame, provided she will but
shoulder the remaining ounce, and she
won't. When she says she will be only five
minutes getting ready to go ouI, it means IN
hour, and when she says shes all ready, it
means fifteen minutes more for putting on
the final touches. She may never be con-
sdcrcd really dressed until fairly out of the
house and round the corner, and even then
tue chances are that she's forgotten gloves or
handkerchief
II there was bedroom mile long. and
her entire wardrobe could be packed in Il
bandbox, still you'd fnd portions of that
wardrobe scattered along the whole mile OF
dresSing.room. She's il nice thing to look ut
when put together, but this wonderful crca-
ton is evolved from IL chaos intermlnablc of
pins, ribbons, rags, powder, thread, brushes,
combs, and laceS.
If there were 7 900 drawers in your room.
aud YOU asked but for one 10 be Kept sacred
and iDvioiate for your own private use, that
particular one would be full Of hair pins,
ribbons, and Soiled cuffs. Some provision,
some protection in this matter, should be
inserted in the marriage service.