Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1874-05-06
Miseellanu.
From all the Year Round.
Popping the Question.

If you tumble in love and are burning to pop,
You should never lose time IN despair; .u-
But at once OH your knees y0n should SraceluhS
ANA express what you have to DECLARE.
Kneelng to ladies', we fancy, went out
with swords and silk stockings. The
gallant fashion hal its Inconvenience.
Not for supple jointed youth, may be, but
suitors Of Falstallian build ran the risk f
putting themselves in the ridiculous plight
of Colman's EueloXus, who, his loye-plaint
proving of no avail,
Looked sheepish nettel, wished himself away;
AMI three he tired to qu,t his kncelins place;
But fit and cprpulency seeme'! to say
Here's a pc tipnr that must forever pray
until his humiliation was completed by Il
sturdy turnkey being summoned to set the
weightv wooer on his feet. Poor Jerry
White came to more lasting grief through
tiinging himself mt the feet of the Proc
tors daughter: for, caught in the act by
Ncll himself, the ambitious parson pre-
tended he was suing for the hand of the
lrdy's maid. and. taken ut his word had
to marry her instead of her mistress.
Such catastrophe did not await Daniel
Webster when, kneelng before his lady
love, he suddenly dropped the tangled
skein of silk she was winding off his
hands, saying, Grace, we have been I'M
tying knots, let us see if we can tie one
which will not unite in Il lifetime!" With
piece of tape he fashioned half II true
lovers knot, Miss Fletcher perfected it,
and kiss sealed the bargain.
A love-lorn miller popped the question
to Il pretty little mlliner by enclosing
half match in valentine. Fearing this
might not be deemed explicit enough, he
followed it up with an odd letter of pro-
posal, in which, after confessing he had
hitherto been "a general lover to Il GER
tain extent" he said ITO yoke with You
| believe | should be both delighted and
happy. for love and esteem you with all
my heart, and could soon forget all others
for the sake Of YOU The man of flour,
however. was not entirely happy, rs he
and the lady were of different religions,
still he did not think that difficulty unsur
mountable. Although said he, Meth
er Of us would be arbitrary. one might
want the other to 90 along with them in
what they considered to be the broad
road that leads to damnatiOn, whereas our
interests would be different ways, which is
the greatest evil under the sun to us, but
| hope not a fixer.n The miller certainly
received Il fiXern of some sort, seeing
his courtship ended in his having to de-
fend an action for breach of promise.
Your general lovers are not lacking in
self-cOnccit a delectable specimen Of the
tribe, the Honorable John Trevor, f;tncied
himself in love with Miss Steele, and
after telling her as much, went on, - You
will object that | tell almost every lady
the same story. | grant | do, those
like; some have been so good rs to be
licve me, and soften the care and concern
4l,.,f Ill
part of the sex hath created. But to none
have | confessed the attraction of my soul
so fur that | would, what shall | say?
marry them. No; never was | so daring,
so bold in thought. till the year 1729-3O,
and the twenty-fourth year of my age,
when | was so fortunate. or unfortunate,
rs you decree, to behold the rcsistless
charms of the most engaging. But of
this.enough." The impudent wooer then
drops sentiment for business If settle
ments are to take place, what | can offer,
will, | hope. be not unequal to your for
tune, though inferior to your deserts. If
you are disposed to think seriously on this
point, there must be Il provision for the
younger children, which Providence will
not fail, under honest industry, to bless us
with. What remains for ME is to assure
YOU that without vanity, love myself ex-
ceedingly well and can heartily love YOU
if YOU will do so tool" No wonder a
lover with such an "if" obtained dis
missal for his pains.
Swift, who had no more tenderness than
one of his own Yahoos, indited the most
brutal proposal we know of Tired of his
shilly- shallying, Miss Varying seems to
have insisted upon his speaking out, and
Swift spoke out with u vengeance After
protesting he is too just to standin the way
of her accepting Il more advantageous
offer. he says he must ask her few ques-
tions-questions he had long since resoly-
ed to ask of the woman with whom he
meant to spend his life: Are Won in Il
condition to manage domestic affairs with
an income of less than three hundred
pounds a wear? Have You such an incli-
nation to my person and honor as to com
ply with my desires and way of living.
and endeavor to make us both as haDpy
us you can? will You be ready to engage
in those methods | shall direct for the i'm
provement of Your mind. so us to make Us
entertaining company for each other,
without being miserable when we are
neither visiting or visited? Can YOU bend
your love, esteem, and Indifference to
others the same way as do mine? Have
YOU so much gOod-naturc us to endcav0r
by soft words to smooth any rugged
humor OccasiOned by tie cross accidents
of life? Shall the place wherein your
husband is thrown be more welcome than
courts and cities without him." Surely
never was Il lady so catechized by a sutton
for her hand When Jane Warning felt
able to answer every question in the af-
tirmatiye. then, and not till then, her low
er SAYS, g | shall be blessed to have Won
IN my arms, without regarding whether
your person be beautiful, or your fortune
large. Cleanliness in the first, and com
potency in the second, is all l look fort
This unique epistle ends" singled YOU
out at first from the rest of women, and |
expect not to be used like Il common low
cr." Swift was evidently enough very
uncommon one.
There is Il world of difference between
the love-making of morbid self-lovino
Swift, and that of CHEEKY hearted Richard
Steele; the ravens croak and the lark 5
song arc not more unlike The Christian
hero made love like lover and a gentle
man. He never dreamed of plying his
mistress with doubling question upon
question. Believing his Prue to be as
beautiful, witty. prudent, and good humor-
ed as a woman could be, Steele, was con-
tented to know that she loved him, and
took the rest upon trust. Instead of
saying l shall die for you, l profess I
should be glad to lead my life with you. y
That is the way he pops the question /:
then when assured that the dearest being
upon earth is his own. he asks her to name
the day. Can anything be more charm
ing in its way than this? 4 have not a
minutes quiet out of your sight; and
when l am with you. you use me
with so much distance, that am still in a
state of absence, heightened with a view
of the charms which am denied to ,p-
proach. In word, you must give me
either ian. a mask or 4 glove YOU have
worn. or l cannot live; otherwise Won
must expect l will kiss your hand, or
when next sit by YOU, steal your hand