The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1874-09-05


they are strong "lickers."
In America, worth makes tho man,
In France Worth makes the woman.
Can that pedigree of a sky-terrier be
truced up to the dog star!
Who is the oldest lunatic OF record ?
Time out Of mind.
Must doctor have license to ampu-
tate game leg?
Last words of Jack-'I'll be hanged
if / go up on that platform
Grace Greenw ood has a house at
Manitou; but thcrt isn't man or two
in it.
A Kentuckian has married his step
mother, which is said to be step far
ther than the law allows.
Why is a sawyer like lawyer? Be,
cause whichever way he works, down
comes the dust.
The King cf Ashantcc has three hun
drcd and thirty three wives. And yet
he is not happy.
On tombstone at S!cnday, Prussia,
is inscribed the cpitaph: 'Shc died of
corset
An old maid, speaking of marriage
says it is like any other disease, while
there's life there's hope.
It has raincd so hard at Milwaukee,
Wis for four months that all the chill
dren there are web footed
A keen observer says that there is as
much difference between self conccit
and self.respect, as there is between
selfish men and men who sell fish.
"Ma, if you give me an apple, 1 will be
good No MY child, you must not be
good for pay-you ought to be good for
nothing
A widow lady in Shelby county, H.,
lately refused an offer Of S75 for three
calves. But the man was bound to have
the calves, and he married her.
a Michigan manufacturer has cigh.
teen thousand broom handles ready for
shipment. This ought to set husbands
to thinking about coming home carly
Why is doctor better taken care
of than his patients Because when
he goes to bed somebody is sure to rap
him up.
A mans death was recently caused in
Illinois by the spider. It was one of
the iron species--in the hands of his
wife.
Siam is an ungallant country: There
the first wife may be divorced, aud after
that every wife may be sold for cash, or
traded for yellow dog.
A York State girl, on hearing of the
death of her lover month ago, tainted
away and was unconscious for week
She recovered sufficiently to be married
lust Monday.
Ayoung man at Evansville coughcd
: up twenty-five cent currency note the
other day, and he has gone right back
to the boarding house whose hash he
formerly complained or.
The churches were we'll filled Sunday.
The shape is an improvcm cnt, but the
trimming is not wholly satisfactory
They sit a little further back on tho head
than the summer styles, we think.
Punch tells of light hearted sea-
captain who, when he had the misior-
, tuse to run his vessel on the Isle of
Wright, pokirg his first officer in the
ribs, chcerily observed: 'We have struck
,.ile.s'
~S An exhorter recommended the Chris
tain religion to the ungodly because he
had been church member fifteen years
and it hadn't cost him but s11S,3.4
cents
When Philadelphia husband comes
home late his wife makes him say 'Clax
ton, Rcmson, and HaGelfngcr,' the
name of a well-known book publishing
firm of that city.
A Texan town was recently visited
by clergy man for the first time in its
history, and the hospitabo inhabitants
proposed getting up horse race for his
entertainment,
5 "A sharp Toledo girl said to gentle
man to whom she had just been intro
duced, that he would be very presenta-
bic ifthe lord hadn't turned up SO much
Of his leg to make feet OF.
A woman with nothing to wear and
wearing it lavishly is roaming rbout the
woods in Union parish, Louisiana, and
the people Of the locality are discussing
whether she is crazy or merely going to
n cont inento nj porty