The Grange advance., 1874-05-13
Really" Mr.. OFT reflected, "that


according to instructions. The verses
were beautiful. That allusion to the
grief of her aunt, particularly seemed
to me to be very happy. 1t expresses
violent emotion with a felicitous combi-
nation Of sweetness and force. These
people have no soul-ao appreciation
of the beautiful in art.
While the poet mused, hurried steps
were heard on the stairs, and in mo.
ment middle-aged man dashed in ab-
ruptly, seizing Brimmer's scattered
hair, bumped his prostrate head against
the table three or four times with con-
siderable force. Having expended the
violence Of his emotion in this manner,
he held the editors head down with
one hand, shaking it occasionally by
way of emphasis, and with the other
hand seized the paper and said:
" You disgraceful old reprobate! You
unsympathetic and disgusting vampire!
You hoary-headed old ghoul' What
d'you mean by putting such stuff as
this in your vile sheet about my de-
ceased son? What d'you mean by
printing such awful doggerel as this,
you depraved and insolent ink.slinger
you imbecile old quiz driver you:
''Oh bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
In a beautiful hole in the ground
Where the humble bees buzz and the woodpeck-
And the straddle.bugs tumble around;
50 that, in Winter, when the snow and the
Have covered his last little bed,
His brother Artemus can go out with Jane
And visit the place with his sled
"Ill teach you to talk about strad-
die bugs! III instruct you about
slush ! I'll enlighten your insane old
intellect on the subject Of singing wood
peckers What do you know about
Jane and Artemus. you wretched buc-
areer, you despicable butcher Of the
English language? Go out with
sled! I'll carry you out in hearse
before I'm done with you, you deplora-
bic old lunatic -
At the end of every phrase the visi-
tor gave the editors head a fresh knock
against the table When the exercise
was ended Mr.. Brimmer explained and
apologized in the humblest manner,
promising at the same time to give his
assailaut chance to pummel OFT.
"The treachery Of this man," mur-
mured the poet, is dreadful. Didn't
he desire me to throw a glamour Of
poesy over commonplace details? But
for that should never have thought
of alluding to woodpeckers and bugs,
and other children Of nature The man
objects to the remarks about the sled.
Can the idiot know that it was necessary
to have rhyme for bed ?" Can he
suppose that l can write poetry without
rhymes? The man is lunatic' He
ought not to run at large !"
Hardly had the indignant and ener-
getic parent of Bartholomew departed
when man with red hair and a fero-
cious glare in his eyes entered. carry
Ing club and accompanied By savae .
looking dog
G. want to see the editor, lie shout
ed.
A & hastily pallor overspread Brim-
mer's face, and he said:
"The editor is not in. ="
"Well when will he be in. then 20
Not for week-for a month-for
year-torever He will never come
in any MORE screamed Brimmer. He
has gone to South America, with the
intention to remain there during the bal
ance of his life. He has departed. He
has fled. If you want to see him you
had better follow him to the equator
He will be glad to see you. 1 would
advise you as friend, to take the next
bcat-to start.at once"
"That is unfortunate said the man
with gold locks I called for the pur.
pose of battering him up lot with this
| club !"
"He will be sorry said Brimmer,
sarcastically. (" He will regret missing
you will write to him, and mention
that you dropped in'
I" My name is McFadden, said the
man. Il came to break the head of the
man who wrote that obituary poetry
about my wife. If you don't tell me
who perpetrated the following, I'll break
yours for you! Where is the man who
wrote this? Pay attention:
SO Mrs. McFadden has gone from this life
She has left al its sorrows and cares;
She caught the rheumatics in both of her legs
While scrubbing the cellar and STAIRS
! They put mustard plasters upon her in vain;
They bathed her with whskey and rum;
| But Thursday her spirit departed. and left
Her body entirely numo."'