Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-01-23
Bunruruus Sketches.

Dfif1torons skcff1rs.
VEN some man slaps me on der shout
der, and say. "I was glad to hear you vas
so well, - und den stick behnt my pack his
fingers 10 his nose. haf my opinion Of dat
feller.
Az old maid says she knows by her own
experience that the saying man proposes
is n base lie-she wishes twas the truth.
4 PIOUS but uncducated Judge closed a
sentence with the following touching re-
proach:
Prisoner at The bar, nature has cndow-
ed you with good education and respcc-
table family connections instead Of which
YOU 90 round the country stealing aucks,
FELLOW travellers said Il colcsed,
preacher, 'ef had been a eatin' dne3 ap-
pies for a week, an den tuck TO driASiR for
n mont, couldn't feel more swellea up dan
| am dis minnit wild pride ala vanity At
seein' sch full tendance ha- dis ebenin'.'
STEwED PEAES.-At I party a lady
treated her company 20 siewed pears.
4 gentleman at the table put one, rs he
supposed, into his mouth, and attempted
TO pull oct tae stem after pulling for some
time, lac was obliged to give it up; and
on putting it upon his plate he found he
had been tagging away at a mouse which
had got into the preserve jar. With the
utmost GOODNESS, he inquired Of the lady if
>he had cat in the house.
Yes, sir why -
well, would like her to take thio
mouse away-that's ALL"
JUEYNEN heard long case in court, the
testimony, the attorneys speeches, the
Judges charge, and al. The jury retired
10 render their verdict. 1t was case Of
- against the supervisors OF a township.
Well, the jurymen began TO count noses to
see how they stood. One was for convics-
ing jenkins aud clearing Brown. Arother
f,r- coacictaiq both 4; and some Cor slcariay
both. Finally the question waS pat 20 lIO-
mas Joke, what was his jjudg;sent
nit none of you. Jenkins and Brown may
bote 60 for me cont dink as dey proof
ed anydings against dem. But dere is an
oder feler vat dinks ought TO be convict
ed, dat is de feller dey calls dc dqtado"t-
he's a tang rascal and no mistale j.
4 ACoryrp-pedagoguc in Henry county
,,,.-es1ed all his scholars 90 write a piece
under penalty Of a thrashing. \ rising ge-
Mus got off the following
Lord Of love
Look down from above
On us poor scholars:
We have hired fool
To teach our school,
And we pay him fifty dollars"
\ NEGRO held COW while cross-cyed
man was to hit her Oh The head with al
axe. The negro observing the mans eyes.
in some fear inquired is you gwine to hit
whar YOU look 2 Yes Den, hold *
COW yourself said Cufiee.
An exchange says: "When you see i
bare-headed man following a COW through
den implements and profanity. you may
know that his cabbage plants have beer sci
out
\ Dutchman getting excited over an ac
count of an elopement of a married woman
gave his opinion thus: ''If my wife runs
away nit anoder mans wife, | shake hin
out of his preeches, if she be my fadder
mine Got. -
over the shop door Of a pork butcher, il
an English village in the eastern counties
may be seen a sign board representing {
man in a black coat brandishing a hatchet
with the inscription. John Smith kill:
pigs like his father
Said a seYen-fOoter TO diminutive spcci
men Of humanity, who approached hin
threateningly. "If you were TO strike me
and l should accidentally find it out, vol
would be sorry
4 PUBLIC NECEssITY-A Justice Of tn
peace in Illinois before whom n citizen haC
prosecuted his daughters lover for eiectin,
him from his own parl0r the Sunday even
ing previous, solemnly decided rs follows
"It pears that this young feller was cour
tin the plaintiffs gal, in plaintiffs parlor
aud shat plaintiff intruded, and was pu
out by the defendant. Courtin' is a publ
necessity, and must not be interrupted
Therefore, the law of Illinois will hold tina
a parent has no legal right in room wher
courtin' is afoot, and 50 the defendant
discharged, and the plaintiff must pa
costs.'
Az AFRICAN WITNESS. Henry Va
Meter. vino recently deceased in Bangor, {
the ace of 10 years, was an African gel
that was not born TO blush unseen. II
was a genuine ebony waif from Old vi
rinny. who drifted down East more tina
half a century ago lie was thorough
charged with .he inspiration of the NouC
du, and could give odds to the Magdaler
in the number and variety of capriciol
spirits that possess him. Van was sun
moned 10 court one day as witness, ali
knowing his pcculiarities the counsel badi
cred him, on either side, with the most pr
posterous questions, until he became SO eI
tangled that his answers were as wild
We PASSES of a blinded pugilist. Noticir
the distress of the obfusticated witness, Il
kindly Judge Hathaway hushed the laV
yerS and put simple question to him, vii
the view Ofbringing him back TO the star
lug point The third assault was too muC
for the oSernatched seer, and he broke on
Now look a-heah, you ole gray hare
gemnlan up % the bench dar, don't yc
interfere wild dis husiness at all. is iu