Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-05-22
humorous shetfbss.

barkeeper. Their emotion at parting was
very great-so much so indeed that the en-
tire crowd Joined in, the most of them tax
ing sugar in theirs
At this juncture, Mr.. Charles Hines
offered to bet champagne for the party, that
he would steal, Carl's calf before he got 10
towr. 'Eughl eugh = grunted Carl, 'py
tam takes dat bet Enough said,' was
the answer, and once more eyincing their
emotion, much to the satisfaction of the
landlord and also three horny handed Gran
gers who had been ornamenting the stove
with their country twist expectorations,
Carl, giving an extra twist round the neck
of bis young bovine, mounted to his seat
and drove slowly off, shaking the body OF
his wagon with suppressed laughter as he
reared back;
Yes, py tam, steal him if you can.'
You can't do it, Charlie said the
crowd with one voice.
This young gentleman, whose wits had
seen sharpened by his early piratical life
and his occasional intercourse with a few
Chinee, said nothing, but buttoned up his
coat, and taking from his pockets his large
buckskin gloves started out, and with the
speed of an antelope struck through the
woods, and taking short cut, in few
minutes came out on the road some dis
tance ahead of Carl, who had not yet turn
ed the bend. Throwing down one Of lis
gloves on the roadside be quickly withdrew
to the bushes and quickly awaited the ap-
proach of the worthy butcher friend, whose
voice could be heard in the distance-one
moment swearing at the calf, which show
ed every inclination to return to The mater
nal fold, and next would be heard that deep
gutteral roar:
'Py tam, stheal him if you can.'
Shortly after the team came to a sudden
halt which nearly dislocated the tailboard
to which he was tied, and Carl leaned over
and saw fine large buckskin glove on the
road.
'Eugh,' said he, why didn't the fool
leave dem both? Watts de use Of one glove
anyhow? G'lang = and off moved the self
satisfied driver, still chuckling at the idea
of anybody stealing his calf
The ingenious youth, whose mind should
have been upon better things, emerged from
his lair in the bushes and once more, after
recovering his glove, started through the
woods and bushes, and in less than half an
hours time was once again upon the road
side, and had deposited glove.
The reluctant calf, the well-tried tail
board, tte burly driver, and the straining
leader soon appeared in sight with this ex-
ception, their positions were reversed.
Got in himmel = cried Carl as his eye
caught sight of the big buck glove lying in
front of him, 'youst like the odder one, by
tam. Why de teufel didn't pick him up
at onc9 p
Hitching his horses to a roadside sapling,
in another minute he was streaking it up
hill and away at 2:40 pace. The bend in
the road was soon reached, and about the
same time a swifL-footed, smiling youth
the one whose mind as we before said
should have been upon better things
stepped from tho roadside shrubbery, pick
ed up the glove, cut the rope, and leading
the calf which appeared willing TO submit
TO any thing for change, through trees
and bushes, was soon lost to sight.
THE gallant coursers of that little isle
of the sea, Nantucket, are not remarkable
for bottom speed. One found his way into
the Massachusetts cavalry during the re-
bellion, being recommended as an excellent
war horse. when the soldier returned he
went into towering passion because he
had been swindled. But how 2 asked the
islander. why, you warranted him a
good war horse, and there is not a bit of
go in him. Yes, L did and repeat, he
is a good war horse, for he'd sooner die
than rum
a PARTISAN, who was known as a f:ce-
thinker, met friend the other day, and,
taking him by the hand, said, Il have be-
come Christian
Il am glad to hear it, he replied sup
pose we now have settlement of that little
account between us. Pay me that thou
owest'
No. said the new born child, turning
on his heel; religion is religion: and bus-
ness is business
AQUEsTIoN OF FHAsH.-A young blood,
much given TO quizzing people, went into
an eating -sa loon on Market street the other
day, and with quite deal of flourish took
a seat at one of the tables. A colored
waiter approached him with a look of in
quiry on his shining mug.
We'll, sab p
What have you got to eat p asked the
customer.
%, got almost anything boss
You have, ell p
Yes, sab, shuer.'
Almost any thing. Well, well, give me
plate Of that, said he, looking earnestly
at the darkey.
The waiter returned his gaze for a NOM
ent, and catching the fellows idea of quiz
zing him, he yelled to the cook at the far
ther end of the ROOM
'O1se plate Of hash p
What's that? | ordered plate Of that
didn't you understand Almost any
thing'-which you spoke Of
well sab, dar's most everything IN hash.
Yah yah! yah = and the darkey laughed
as though he really enjoyed the joke that
be had turned upon the quizzer.
A UNANIMOUS IRISH JURY.-The fol-
loving laughable scene is reported as a fact
from day at a Hibernian court of Justice.
Doubtless it might be matched by some
transactions at negro jury trials down
SOUTH
AT the Limerick Sessions recently, the
jury, after quarter of an hours absence,
returned into court. we find him not
rililfv