The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-10-01
JOE PODGERS'S SUICIDE.
BY GIDEON HICKS.

BY GIDEON HICKS.
"To be, or not to be- that is the question:
JOE PoDGERs was regular bOarder at
the Widow Scruggins's. There is nothing
in this simple announcement of itself cal
culated to excite surprise or remark, for il
is well known that Mrs ScrugginS keeps
a clearinghouse, and it was certainly
proper that Mr.. Joseph POdgers, mer-
chants clerk. should take his meals at
Mrs. Scruggins's table, and rest his lank
body on Mrs. Scruggins's beds, as long as
he promptly paid his five dollars per week
for those esteemed privileges. Perhaps,
everything considered, that young gentle
man could do no better than to patrOniZe
her, for she kept a tolerable table, her beds
were moderately clean, her charges were
low, and hers was the nearest and most
convenient place of entertainment to the
business house behind the counter of which
Mr.. POdgers wasted mis- talents in dispOs-
ING of caicOes. linens, ribbons and other
useful articles too tedious to mention.
But what lends importance to the above
mentioned fact is the additional fact, that
Miss Fripper, the lovely niece of the land
lady, lived under the same roof. Now it
was well known that Mr.. Podgers was
desperately i'm love with Miss Fripper. and
it was generally believed that Miss Frip-
per didn't care straw for Mr.. Podgers.
In fact, Miss Fripper had said repeatedly
before parties whose veracity we caEnOt
question, that she "despised that man
POdgers." That she said words to this
effect cannot be doubted, nor could we
have doubted their sincerity but for the
future developments in the case.
Mr.. POdgers had loved Miss Fripper
with all the enthusiasm of his too enthu-
sastic nature. He had dreamed about her
for nights unnumbcred, and had thought
about her during the days to the exclusion
of almost everything else. We have every
reason to believe this attachment had not
only Sapped the vigOr from his ordinarily
lank body, and caused him to neglect the
biscuit and butter so amply provided for
the bOarders at Mrs. ScrugginS's, but that
il operated disadvantageOusly to the in
tercstS of Mr.. Hopkins, his employer.
For i'm the prosecution of his duties at
the store, he at times made wonderful eX-
hibitiOnS of Observation-Disclosures such as
measuring off twice as many yards of cali
co rs the purchaser demanded, wrapping
up the wrong bundles, and returning too
much or too little change. And did he
not horrify old lady CrutfS by wrapping
up for her an elegant moire antique, when
the Lord knows she had never worn
days 2" Such demeanOr showed that he
labored under weight of unrequited af-
fection which was injurious not only to
his mental and physical health, but also
prejudicial to the monetary interests of
Mr.. Hopkins. The strangest thing about
the whole matter is, that until the time
this narrative opens he had never brOached
the subject of his love to the object of his
affections and that il is reserved for this
history to perpetuate the first attempt on
the part of the lover to ascertain her real
feelings, and to chronicle its sad results.
1t was the custom of Mr.. POdgers, who
bv the way. was remarkable for his bash
ftIlneSS. when he went to his meals to take
his seat at the table just opposite 10 lovely
Miss Fripper, on whom he fOndly gaZed
whenever that lady was not looking at
him. No wonder then that a gentleman
OF such excessive nOdeStv became con-
fused when her GLORIOUS OrbS of light
beamed in all their powerupon him. No
wonder that he frequently made himself
conspicuous by doing some very cXtrava-
CANT and unreasonable things at the table.
such as drinking his tea with fork, or
using the butter knife i'm cutting his steak.
No wonder that sometimes in a moment
of sublime abstraction. having accumulat-
sufficient to have satisfied the wants of
half dozen heartier eaters, he deliberate
ly helped himself to his neighbor'S but
tered toast. These ridiculous mistakes
showed only too plainly that he was not
himself, and that nothing short Ofthe pos
session of his viS-a-viS could ever set him
right again. For ever so many weeks and
months he had resolved, that, come what
might. he would speak his sentiments TO
Miss Frippcr. but every night he was COM
PEELED 10 confess that, with the exception
of "a few commonplace remarks thrown al
her during the general conversation, with
a wonderful disregard of appropriateness,
he had failed in the courage of addressing
the lady at all.
However. on the evening of the day upon
which this story opens, he appeared in his
best apparel. fired with a resolution tO
know his fate that night, but looking as
forlorn rs could well be conceived. He
simply Went through the motions of eat
ing, until Miss Fripper, who was looking
uncommonly lovely, left the table. He
ollowed her into the parlor. which was
unoccupied by any other person. Now,
although Miss Fripper had declared in the
most positive terms that she "deSpised
that man Podgers," her actions on this
occasion did not corrOborate her words
On the contrary, she seemed to take great
delight i'm believing she was admired by
THAT man PodgerS,' and even went so f:il
aS to intimate 10 him that there was plenty
of room for another person on the sef:
upon which she had seated herself. Pod
gers hesitatingly took his seat beside her
his heart meanwhile making the most as
tonishing attempts TO locate itself in hi
throat. After an ominouS silence, he be
gan the conversation with the remark, Il
Is very warm this evening" proposition
so undeniably true. she could only warm
IL respond i'm the affirmative. a shOr
silence again ensued, Miss Fripper evl
IDENTIFY awaiting the attack. But he wa
not to be baffled, and in the next ten min
utes he impaired to his companion al
amount of meteorological information
which must have been entertaining and in
structive in the highest degree. He soon
however, began TO take heart and broacl
other subjects. until. at the end of hal
an hour he had so far progressed as to b
aole 70 ask her if she hadever been en-
gagged.
The idea, Mr.. Podgers.r said she
what would | want TO be engaged for =
why, for-a-for-a-.' here he became
little confused. but he stammered our. " I,
be married, of course"
But suppose didn't want to marry 2,