The Hawaiian gazette., 1874-06-10
Variety.

Variety.
The little boy, at his first concert iunoceuty aske
when the soprano was called back O. What's The mat
ter. mother Didn't she do 6, rights"
rirl hearing her mistress ask her husband t
bring D1ubey and Son +" with him when be cam
home to dinner set two extra plates for the ezpeoto
guests.
whats the matter there Alice2 Don't you
shoes dt2" No, papa. they dou't 1T me at al.
replied the little one why, they doateven squeal
when I e out for walk
s Nav heaven cherish and keep YOU from your
truly. John smith was the somewhat Ambiguous
closing Of love-letter recently received BY young
lady.
Sentimental young men insist that Il is impossibl,
% talk love the suburban belle beneath the tree:
and In the moonlight, owing 70 the iuterposiion Of
the catorpilars, that even crawl between easpei
hands and beating hearts.
Time works wonders In the good old days folks
we're put in stocks for punishment, and their specua-
ti5us. we doubt not were always unsatisfactory.
But in these latter years folks 20 stocks just for
the fun Of the thing and the excitement Of spesulat-
ing is an element Of attraction however severe the
punishment
ply 70 beautiful young lady whom be offered 20 lit
over the gutter and who insisted that she was too
heavy. Lors. uissus, said be, Use use to lftiu
barrels Of sugar
Ode 90 the Suspension Bridge over Niagara Falls,
written in the visitors book 80
Ea5-uus struetur-
Wbar dii the constructors stand
As tIt this 'ere1
say Eeutle news
Iaadsiaashun- ho5-c3.
Ilev It now
They dii ii i1 bailllns-'
A nan sauutored into an aPotbe,ary shop in Port
land. Ne, the O.her morning. aud, after spending
few minutes locking into the show glasses and turn
iuE sort uE tooth pick several times in his mouth,
startled the clerk with the question " What's good to
cure poisoning What kind Of poisoning % said
the clerk. well lauaaaum poisoning said the
stranger. You see. the old woman took couple Of
tsaspo1ufuls Of lau5auuz. ana kinder though, I'd
better drop into pi-shop and see what's good for
her, all this in drawliug v0iae'- Here, John,
shouted the clerk. -" put up strong euetic quick
as you can and you. sir take It home and give 1t to
your wife follow !, gr with st-oug coffee and ean
5os.5r.~ "a doctor" says the nan. 'sbe don't
waste no money On doctors not if know it,
LINES 70 A FkrE ENslkvER.
Lady II be bshsis Thy hair.
b aature ia-s- ty z-t made fair.
Ttar man were l.iI5s- fl- than T.
who-d Stand ths haza-s e the 5ye-F1sl-h-
An iup-1uptu epigran has been composed IL court
by uca-lsd auditor Of the -ishb0rae case
Esasa-r states ~ o-t-1's ear
wee pierced e b--e5, ., mus; sT7elr.
II true es-s some si-- sdl-li shru,
since be has re-ced and h5-ei thsu- So o-'-6--Eiir-
California l;se-assur. objeesing to tsrse phrase
o'1ry. alters the normal wording Of q vell-kn0wn
r-5ye-b about stone and glass houses into the more
refined and somewhat E5uu-y remark that duelers
in crystal palaces should refrain from the propulsion
os irrcsular-shsr5d particles Or granite formation
Au5ao- t-aasatsate writer, however. Is The
ofloss-viadsd. Here is bis account Of an attempted
sai.ils= Li11is smith. weak woman, laudauan, 4
Sunday. doctor. stozash-Tuzap. life saved
Tie learned and popular JudEe -, nov oa TIE .
sar-eus Beuch Of California, vas recently trying
case uhsre q farmer claimed damages against zia-
iug company for blowing vainss On 70 the farmers
land A witness testified 70 the Effects Of stick
lying IN the stream Of water carrying The vaiins and
C5st-u,si1E the same. Judge TO Wiruoss' " How
large was the stick you speak ofs Witness Il don't
-ee1-Ie,t.~ Jrsse: ' Cant yOu approximate % the
srss Witness: Sc Wen no didn't measure Judge
growing i1patisu;]: Wen. sir it as thick as
~ wis, - Witaess: " Wen, yes, somewhat big
rer: fou ny reco-ectioas now, should judge 1t to
have been shout as Thick as your bead ioealar
oppression seemed to play upoa the features Of the
audience the size q tie stick having beea fairly a
rrazimatsd.
Among the later obituaries the following VII no;
lake a very distant '' back seat =
q. bu-y Barthal0-neu cuf 10 the w7oas,
II a 1eautifui hole ln the Eruunc
wh-- he buulte-sees tuzE and the voo7ecSs-s sing
And the straddie-lu-s tumble arluna
s. ths-. iu Winter. uhc1 the s11w au1 the si1sh
Have covered o + last little bed
HE Dr.. ther Artemus can 20 ouf with dsner
And vlslt thE place Vith biz sled
Rev. Or. D0dd vas once making some inquiries of
gentleman respecting minister that he had former
" known. The reply vas that he was considered :
very good man. though some OF his parish0aers
.hourht be traded horses little offener than be
needed TO- The doetor said his might Be similar
10 that Of C0unectisut minister be once heard Of
rho wss accused Of whipping his wife A meeting
vas called to deal with the old parsOa, when his WIFE
iarias heard Of it, went in and told the church she
,aped they would not be hard her husband, as it
ras al tie recreation the poor msn had.
SAKE, who vas once AZ editor, got hold Of the
.svspaper-bore and Sc; hin to music, as follows:
He drops into my easy chair,
And asks about the uewss
BE peers into my manuscript,
And gives his candid vieuss
He tells ne where he likes the line
Aud where he's forced 70 grieve,
He takes the sfranrest Liberties,
Bet never takes his lezve1