Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-11-27
MINOR NOTES.

Two truckmen moved the traps Of physi
clan in Lowell, and drank heartily from what
looked like a bottle Of claret The fluid was
paregoric, however, and the drinkers stretch
ed themselves out on their wagon and
slept sleep that for ten hours Inew no
waking.
Hi where did yez git them trousers ,"
asked an lrshman of a man who happened
to be passing with pair of remarkably
short trousers on. | got them where they
grew" was the indignant reply. - Then,
by my conscience, said Pat, you've pulled
them year too soon
Laborers, shoemakers, blacksmiths, and
all others out OF employment, should COM
mence to write Christmas stories. They
will soon be in demand.-NorriStocn Her
aid.
The Milwaukee Nsles says the St. Louisian
never dies suddenly. He walks around half
a dozen years, telling people about his liver
and chewing quinine, before crossing the
river.
A Chicago pork-packer, whose pew rent
was raised to S25, exclaimed, "Great Caesar
Here's nice state of affairs-the Gospel 60
ing up and pork going down. What's to
become Of u,Y'
Mr. and Mrs. Marrowfat met in solemn
conclave, las evening, and seriously deliber
ated whether it would not be advisable to
take the chi dren to see Plymouth Rock and
Bunker Hill monument before the Democratic
Government of Massachusetts, was inaugu-
rated.-BrooklyR Argus.
A man a bout two-thirds drunk, and his
back covered with mud, stopped a police
man on th street, and asked to be locked
up. Nv 1y, you are able to walk home,
aren't you ?'' asked the officer Yes,
could get home all right, but | don't want
to, aud you wouldn't if you had my wife
Take me down, ole fellow, and if she comes
inquiring round Just say I've gone to
T'ledo on 2 ortant business. Detroit Free
Press.
A man went home, the other evening, and
found his house locked up. Getting in
a the widow with considerable diff
C llty, he found on the table note
fl ON his wife: g have gone out you
WI II find the door-key on one side the door
ste o."
:. Why, you see" she began, - you &c Ike
a hestnqt and cut round the hull with a
sha rp knife. and you take one-half the chest
nut in your l. Youth, and your fellow takes
the other half IN his mouth, and pull, and
the hull comes ight off. "
A Canada man tied his dog to the end of
, rea car the 9th, n day, and then bet the
beast could keep up with the train. Strange
to sa V, when they get to Detroit, the dog
was ahead-there W. nothing else lett OF
aim
p oor Celestials They are to learn
Ere nch after 0llendorf7s system; a. nd so now,
10 doubt, the young Mopgolians al study
ng in their Ollendorfs such pass 'ges as
lb is "Have you the old horse OF your
lead grandmother ?'' "No 1 have not the
Did horse of my deed grandmother. but l
have the small squirrel of my old step
fnther.''
The highly respectable pathological con-
ference of German Swans recently in session |
at Innspruck, Austria, was badly sold. A |
paper was read to the profound and learned |
body concerning a "a supposed Phenician
statue, found near the town of Syracuse
in the United States" which turns out to
be nothing less than our old friend, the
q Cardiff Giant"
A Cincinnati policeman with whom the
world had had two or three hard rubs, hit
upon a novel expedient for revenge. He
arrested one of the police commissioners on
. charge Of being intoxicated ct somswhat