The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-02-06
HOW THE CITIZENS OF THE UNION
SCHOOL DISTRICT WERE
HOAXED.

IL was IN the Gays W0en reform was
the topic of conversation among the
good citizens of the Union school
house vicinity, that the people sighed
for some means by which they could
obtain their goods without the aid of
the middle man. They did not have
to wait long till an opportunity was
offered. It was announced by B. f.
Moon that he was agent for the Union
Furnishing Company of Chicago, that
he would sell tickets for % cents each.
The purchaser might select any article
from a list, and the same would be
sent by express, then by paying one
dollar and express charges, the pur-
chaser of the ticket could secure it.
Never before was there such chance
to get bargains. a pair of boots worth
six dollars, or an alpaca dress for one
dollar. The tickets sold like hot cakes
on election day. Every one of the
male persuasion must have a pair of
boots; the fair sex an alpaca dress.
Anyhow these were the most impor-
tant; then if they had any quarters
left they invested in hats, snawls, mus
Inns, &c. Surely the agent was pub
lie benefactor. At last his stock of
tickets was exhausted, the demand rap
idly increasing. The agent didn't pro-
pose to slight anybody, and therefore
Immediately ordered a new supply
which came in due time, and again he
went up and down, and to and fro in
the land, giving every one that was so
disposed chance to invest their loose
change. At last fractional currency
began to be few and far between in
this part of the vineyard; then selling
tickets was like peddling peanuts in
grave yard. He then sent the pro-
ceeds of the sales to head quarters at
Chicago, then went home and waited
patiently for the arrival of the goods.
One week passed, then another, the
goods came not; cnother, and q month
had passed and no goods. Those that
had capital invested began to think it
was time for them to come. The ex-
press office was visited daily by the
victims, inquiring for package for B.
F. Moon. The answer of the clerk
was always in the negative, and with
that sad intelligence they again went
out into the world, still wearing their
old boots hoping that the new ones
would come before they would have to
purchase elsewhere. Time passed on,
six weeks had passed away, and still
no goods came. The friends of the
enterprise began to lose confidence, or
in other words, to sEsmell a MICE" all
except the agent. His faith was yet
as strong as that of Abraham when on
mount Moriah with his son Isaac to
offer him up as a burnt offering. The
sunshine came at last, and it was an
nounced by the agent that the goods
had come. Then there was joy among
the reformers. They were all notified
to meet at the express Office on the fol-
lowing day, pay their dollars and get
their goods. They were all there the
next morning, though some declared
they did not have the dollar at the
present time, all were eager to SEE
what they were to get. The Office was
thronged with them, waiting for tn,
agent to come and open the boxes
After a short time he came looking a.
important as q Chicago boot black. HI
marched himself into the Office anC
called for the package, whereupon thu
official produced box about eight BY
, twelve inches, and four deep. The i'm
portant man proceeded to open il
when the lid was removed there expos
ed to view, was few yards of alpaca
: and another article of less importance
and nothing more. The agent viewe'
, the precious lot with a distressed look
] then glanced at tho clerk and demand
ed the rest to be brought forth. Tn,
answer of the official was, 'sThat is all.
= For few moments he stood in silenc
: as II in deep meditation. Perhaps h
was thinking about his sins. At last
like one who for delay, seeks val
excuse, he went away saying they vii
CONS some other day. But the sad
> dess part of the story is yet to relate
One of the victims was an old bachelo
who had long been seeking the hand {
n one of the fair sex In marria pc, bU
could not accomplish the desired resul
!, from the tact that his feet was minus
!, pair of boots, and not having the fund
= to procure . new pair, when ne hear
of the Union Furnishing Company !
was much relieved. He imniediatel
sought out the agent aud made al
rangements for securing the long wisi
7, ed for luxury. On the day of the
= supposed arrival he made his appeal
5 ance among the rest, expecting TO oil
n tain his boots, and then unite with h
a intended in the bonds of matrimon
= But alas for human happiness, espe
J. tally when it depends on the UniG
ID Furnishing Company for its found
q ton. The venerable bachelor stot
= looking at the agent for few M
3 menrs like wood pigeon at rattl
3 snake, then burying his hands in !
% pockets, marched out OF the Office II
= ~ believing that ''there Is mono righ
ce eous-no, not one." Two months ha
es passed since then. The goods ha