Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-11-17
IN FOR A BERTH.

A Reconstructed PatrOIt Who wants
90 Pont0On the bloody Chasm-EEe
writes an Open Letter 20 HIS FrIend
HGraee.
| To the Union and American:
intended when l wrote the inelosed
letter TO send It direct to my friend Horace,
but concluded that It would be surer Of at
tracing his attention il published in the
UNION AND AMERICAN. He takes l., OF
course. Everybody does:
FAYETTEVILLE, Tenn, Nov. 15.-Hon.
Horace Maynard, Knoxville, Tenn.-Dear
Horace: A vacancy has occurred ia the
pOstOfice department down here on the
Winchester and Alabama railroad. Il was
oecasioned altogether by some little iudis-
cretions on the part Of the young route
agent, who simply appropriated. at differ
ent times, small amounts of the currency
OF our great government, that were intend
ed for various individuals, and he has been
transferred from the pOStOfiee department
to apartments al Nashville, TO await an in
yestigation.
Now don't get fretted and ask what the
mischief l am telling you all this for, Willy,
(they call you Willy down here sometimes
Willy Narrow Gansett, you know, but i
never did much believe that was your
nancy, but just wait till get 10 the point,
and I'm narrowing down to it right now.
You see, my countryman, (you are my
cOuntTyman, aint you, if you did come
from New England?) / want that Sit. Now,
some Of these young bucks who are getting
up petitions, signed by dead oodles Of bust
ness men, etc, may tell YOU that they are
trooly loil, and can swallow Civil Rights
bill, black bills or any other bill, (and l
expect if some Of them had a chance they
would swallow mp more gTeeuback bits
than the young man who is now
about TO be interviewed by Judge
Trigg,) but you just keep your snaky
eye skinned on them fellows, Narrow; they
amt half as loyal as l am right now.
They never had'a chance to show their un-
loyalty.
You understand, Mr. Gansett, four years
tramping through the Southern COnfederacy
(sO-called,) during the unpleasantneSs some
time back, took all the unloyalty out Of me.
You remember the time; though don't be-
heye you were there, any way We didn't
happen TO meet, or, if we did, we didn't re-
cognize each other. / think | ought to
have this place, for l never held but one
office under the government in my life, and
that was when was small bOy-I car
ried the mail once from here to SheIbyville
"a very loyal place you know, Willy, and
that gave me a little experience in the
business. And another thing in this con-
necfion I'll mention: i didn't steal marry
dollar from the department. You see l
was too young, and besides, didn't have
chance.
Now, know you are a man who takes
broad view Of things, if your middle
name is Narrow, and you can look over
that bOyish trick of mine-trying to break
up the best government the world ever
saw-and agree to throw out pOtoOn across
the dirty ditch, especially, Narrow, when
you reflect that from the way these elections
have been going lately, it begins to look
like we Democrats will have something to
say about the arrangement Of the pOntOOn
ourselves. But we amt going to be hard
on you fellows, Willy, when we get into
power; and suppose you aud just set the
people Of both parties an example Of con
eiliaioTytiveness, you by having me appoint
ed to this place, and | by dignifedly az
ceptiDg it. Don't you see the broad point,
Narrow? Or is it too thin9 What do you
say, my eOuntryman? Come up to the
scratch like a man, Willy, and let's
set an example to both parties
that will astonish the world and
be the first step towards a thorough and
complete reconstruction. Understand,
though, 1 am already reconstructed myself
and don't care a darn for the late misun-
derstanding. But l want this posish-
want it badly; in fact, I'm like the fellow
who wanted to be elected militia captain,
Pm poor man and need the Office; its a
ground hog case with me, Narrow, no meat
for breakfast.
OF course, won't offer you any pay for
this service. II would be an insult to you,
as you already hold an Office of profit under |
the Government, but, after a while, when |
the rails are changed, won't forget you,
Gansett.
YOu can have my commission sent tome |
at this place, as l am ready to 90 on the |
road right away, and when we meet vel |
take a glass of Porter together. Your ever
lasting friend, ID. r. OCCMOF.