Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-08-26

/. that was going 10 have apoplex,
: or paralysis. or something Of TIA
{ kind. Ga two or three OCCASION
' while preaching. / should hav'
: fallen in the pulpit if | had no
held on 70 the table. very often
4 came near falling in the streets
= During the last fifteen years hav,
: gone into the pultit | suppose one
: hundred times with very strons
: impression that | should never
come ont of it alive. | have
J preached more sermons than any
, human being would believe when
> felt all the while whatever | had
: got to say TO my people | must say
then or | never would have another
; chance 10 nse il. If ! had consult
: ed a physician his first advice
, would have been, You must stop
work. But | was in such a situa-
ton that | could not stop work. i
read the best medical books on
symptoms Of nervous prostration
and overwork and paralysis, and
found my own judgement of my
case. The three points ! marked
were: | must have good digestion,
good sleep aud | must go on work
ing" These three things were to
be reconriled, and in regard to nv
diet and stimulants and medicines |
made a most thorough and search
ing trial, and as a result managed
my body so that | could get the
most work ont oft without essential
~ impairing it. If | had said n
word about this TO my family it
would have brought such distress
and anxiety on the part of my wife
as | could not bear. / have for
many years so steadily taxed my
mind to the utmost, there have been
periods when | could not afford to
have people express even sympathy
with me, To have my wife or
friends anxious about it, and show
ing it to me, would be just the
drop too much.
In 1868 | came again into the
same condition, just before going
to England, and it was one of thCs
reasons why / was wishing to go.
The war was at its height. / car
ried my country in my heart. /
had the Md,pendcnt in charge, and
was working, preaching and lectur-
ing continually. | knew | was
likely to be Frustrated again. In
December, 1870, the sudden shock
IF these troubles brought on again
these symptoms in a more violent
form. | was very much depressed
in mind, and all the more because
It was one of those things that /
could not say anything about. /
v Is silent with everybody. Dur
ng the last four years these symp-
oms had been repeatedly brought
IN by my intense work, carried
Onward on an underlying basis of
30 much sorrow and trouble. Ny
friends will bear witness that in
he pulpit have very frequently
alluded to my expectation Of sud-
len death. / feel that / have more
han once already been near a
stroke that would have killed or
paralyzed me, and ! carry with me
low, as | have not so long carried
IN years before this trouble began,
he daily thought of death as a
loor which might open for Inc at
my moment out of all cares and
abors into welcome rest. During
the whole of the year 1871 was
kept in state Of suspense and
doubt, not only as to the future of
the family for the reunion and hap
piness of which | had striven so
earnestly, but as to the degree to
which might personally be sub
ject TO attack and misconstruction,
and the trouble be brought into
the church and magnifed by pub
licity. The officers of the church
sought to investigate into Mr.. Til
toms religious views and moral con-
duct, and on the latter point l had
been deceived into the belief that
he was not in fault. AS to the re-
ligious views l still hoped for a
change for the better, as it was
proposed to drop him from the list
of members for non-attendance
Had he asserted to me his with
drawal this might have been done,
but his wife still attended church
and hoped for his restoration. /
recollect having with him a con-
versation in which he dimly init
mated TO me that he thought it not
unlikely that he might go back in
to his old position. He seemed to
be in mood to regret the past,
and so when / was urged by the
examining committee to take some
steps / said was not without hopes
that by patience and kindness Til
ton will come back again into his
church work and be one of us
again. l therefore delay a decision
upon this point for long time.
Many of our members were anx-
ious and impatient and there were
many tokens of trouble from this
quarter.
Meanwhile one wing of the fe-
male suffrage party bad got bold
of the story in very distorted and
aggravated form such as had
never been minated to me by Mr..
Tilton or his friends. / did not
then suspect what / now know,
that these attractions ly false rnmnrr