The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-07-11

1t Is said that the prettiest girl In Harris
burg IL newspaper carrier. She carries
them in her hustle.
A PhilaCelphia gentleman advertisss .
soap that is destined TO wipe out the
national debt. There is probably some
"lye" about it.
Samuel Gettings, Of Springfield, o., is
the father Of ~ children. Ii is hoped that
with all his Gettings he got understand
ing
When your pocket-book gets empty and
everybody knows it, you can put all your
friends in il and it won't bulge out"
worth a cent.
The youno married man who found him
self at the theatre, the other evening. with
feet encased in steel-cOlored boots, from a
liberal application Of stove blacking in the
dark. wants to know '' how long the house
cleaning business Is going to last, any
way.
man who was seen coming out Of
Texas newspaper Office with his nose split
open, one eye gouged ont, and an ear
chawed on, explained to policeman that
he ives not subscriber t. the paper-he
had simply entered the office to ascertain
II the editor was IN. +" And he was in. 4"
he mournfully added
While some colored people we're being
baptized recently in the river at Nashville,
one became unmansgable, and seizing thu
minister, who was small man, threw him
over her head, almost drowning him.
Sir John Ashley, an English M. p, at
tended meeting Of his constituents re-
Gently, when a man in the crowd called
out, What about the Liquor bill HI
" Well, said Sir John, "mine was un-
commonly high last year, how was yoursi"
A woman who was baptized recently lost
her back HAIR in the briny wave. Her
husband believing that
Religion never was designed
To make our pleasures less
fished out the appendage with a hoop pole
and dried it on the rocks Belfast Jour
nal.
They had a holiday in the Cincinnati
Enquirer, office when Ben Buffers last
speech came in, and they prefaced that
memorable philippe with such gentle com
ments as Ben bounced em-High old
times in the House last night Butler puts
on his war paint and goes on general
scalping expeditIon-numerous trophies Of
the raid dangling at his bloody belt"
A man who had been cruel to horse
was convicted in LATHE Shasta California.
The jury fixed the fine at one dollar, and
the Justice followed with a speech. "This
mans being tried four times, gentlemen of
the jury" he said, land you're the first
twelve that has had sense enough ID ind him
guilty. But what under heavens did you
make jackasses of yourselves foi by put
kk,a nm. mt. "A aF&aw 4 a
an average decent thing. faint any Of
your business anyway what he's fined. I'll
look after that myself Itll be sixty dol
lars"
This is the current practical Joke in the
West A man runs into a saloon, the
bartender Of which he knows, and says
excitedly, Give me drink, quick
Therell be the biggest row you ever saw
in about ten minutes III The bartender
sets out the whisky bottle, and the man
nervOusly fills his glass 70 the brim, drinks
1t off at a swallow, and looks at the cham
bers Of his revolver. Leaving his hat
where it was thrown, he hurriedly goes to
the door looks out moment, and then
exclaims, = Yes. in less than half minute
there'll be an awful time here Give me
another drink, quick II The bottle is
again passed out, another glass drained,
and the man picks up his hat and leisurely
walks away. The bartender calls after
him: Say, look here What's ali this
about row You Jest come back here
and pay for those drinks or I'LL let day
light into your hide I" At this the joker
turns and cody says, There you 20
Didn't | say there'd be fearful row here
in a minute | knew 1t. There you 20,
Just as expected. Of course the drinks
are not paid for