The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1874-10-22
JIM BLAINE
And His Grandfatheres Old Ram
BY MARK TWAIN.

BY MARK TWAIN.
The boys used to tell me | ought to
get one Jim Blaine to tell me the stir.
ring story of his grandfather old
ram, but they always added that |
must not mention the matter unless
Jim was drunk at the time-just COM
fortably and socially drunk. They
kept this up until my curiosity was
on the rack to hear the story. | got
to hunting Blaine; but it was of no
use the boys always found fault with
his condition; he was often moderately,
but never satisfactorily drunk. | never
watched mans condition with such
absorbing interest, such anxious solicit
tude | never pinned to see man I'M
compensatory drunk before.
A: last one evening hurried to his
cabin, for learned that this time his
situation was such that even the most
fastidious could find no fault with it
he was TRANQUILITY, serenely, symmetri
cally drunk-not hiccup to mar his
voice, not cloud upon his brain thick
enough to obscure his memory. AS |
entered he was sitting upon an empty
powder keg, with clay pipe in one
hand and the other raised to command
silence. His face was round, red, and
very serious; his throat was bare and
his hair tumbled; in general appear
ance and costume he was stalwart
miner of the period. On the pine table
stood candle, and it's dim light re-
sealed ''the boys sitting here and
there on hunks, candle boxes. powder
kegs, etc. They said:
Ssh! Don't speak-he's going to
commence"
THE STORY OF THE OLD RAM.
found seat at once, and Blaine
said:
Il don reckon them times will ever
| come again. There never was more
butler old ram than what he was.
| Grandfather fetched him from Illinois
got him from man by the name of
Yates-Bill Yates--may be you might
have heard of him: his father was a
acknowledgement he was rustler
too; man Ind to get up ruther early
to get the start Of old Thankful Yates j:
it was him put the Greens up to jining
teams with my grandfather when he
moved West. Seth Green was the pick
of the flock; he married Wilkerson
Sarah Wilkerson-good cretur she
was--one Of the likliest heifers that was
ever raised in old Stoddard, every body
said that knowed her. She could heft
a bar'l of -four as easy as can a flap
jack. And spina Don't mention it.
Independent Humph! When Sile
Hawkins came browning around her,
she let him know that for all his tin he
couldn't trot in harness along side of
her
"You see. Sile Hawkins was--no it
warn't Sile Hawkins after all--it was q
galoot by the name Of Filkins--I disre-
member his first name; but he was
stump-come into prar-meeting drunk.
one night, hooraying for Nixon, becuz
he thought it was primary; and old
Deacon Ferguson up and scooted him
through>the window, and he Lit on old
Miss Jefferson's head. poor old FLY.
She was : good soul-had . glass eye
and used to lend it to old Miss Wagner,
that hadn't any, to receive company
in; it warn't big enough. and when
Miss Wagner wasn't noticing it would
get twisted around in the socket, and
look up maybe, or out to one side. and
every which way, while t'other one was
looking as straight ahead as spy glass.
Grown people didn't mind it. but it most
alvava n ade the children crv, it was so