The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-03-07

ering the thing out when we met the following
in New York paper, which we rather guess set
ties the apple question for the present Says that
paper;
The controversy as to the apples attracted our
Alteration at first but our answer has been delay
ed until we could count them up. Here is the
result
Eve said CISl.................... ISL
Adam replies CIXLISa...........lO, Ol1 $50 is!
lOOll, 15O,36%
PS Since writing the above We find the Auro
"a Herald putting in its oar, as follows:
These down east editors are altogether wrong
in their endeavors to make it appear that our
fore-p parents were gluttOns. Here Is the correct
solution. The . s each, making only PSI apples
Our devil, however, says that the 81 many
aud he claims to have been on the ground.
The devil was there no doubt for the Bible says
30, and the devil ought to know, but he is such a
COMPOUNDED liar that what lie says settles moth.
ing. So the question is still open.
An Indiana country editor mildly remarks:
If you can't bring us wood, remember us in
your prayers. 1t is something to know, as we
sit and ehiyer, that We are not forgotten, if the
stove is cold"
Miss Annie T. Mcdowell has department in
the Philadelphia Sunday Republic. She charges
that the ladies and gentlemen of the committee
eat lunches, drink wine and smoke cigars, all OF
which are paid out Of the Centennial funds
Miss Annie is a trfe too fast. Congress has
made no appropriation yet to the Centennial
fund, and AS the Philadelphia beggars have not
yet passed around the hat outside of the city, and
everybody knows no money can be raised inside,
there can be no money on hand yet to pay for
lunches and drinks"
A band Of Ohio women gathered in front Of a
lawyers office by mistake and prayed and sang
half 40 hour before they learned that they had
been throwing away time. 1t is calculated that
their prayers wouldn't have had any effect under
eighteen months
circircular directed to Water Works, La
Sale, Ill" must have been mis-sent 1t was evil
IDENTITY intended for OttaWA.-Ld Sale Press.
Very likely. They know nothing about water
a. La Sale. Don't use it for anything.
A Kansas paper announces the coming of q
star actor who viii show our benighted citizens
how Shakespeare ought to be slung"
The question used to be: Are you trul,
loyal!' The question now is: Are You truly
ruralp
Inc Boston Post asks, II man loses an Dune,
9i Drains every ten years, how old is Boutwell, y
we answer: About out Of Scnsc-Rictu.oud I'm
qitirer.
Maine husband wanted TO bet his wife that
she could whip panther, but she saw The Joke
and refused 10 try.
Ohlo'S ransom speeds apacc-
Is daily growing surcr,
Since wOman's dulcet voice es.syc1
The praise Of igtra P1u.
Proud statei plying nation prays
FOr some assuring token;
my nose bleached To its native hue
Thy whisky vessels broken.
Has il ever occurred TO the young geut in tosr
VINO complains that his girl scents Der handkel
chief with coal oil whenever he comes to see be-
that 1t may be because lie drinks whisky an
ehcws tobacco:
kentucky farmer went 10 Cincinnati n,
other day and bought jug Of whiskey. and whe
he got home, he found that the whiskey had bee
poured out and the jug filed with water. Thu
by an lnterposition Of Providence az mysieriou
as il was benign and merciful, the poor man
life was sayed.-touri,r-yOur
Poetical advice from the Fremont lohi,
Messenger:
Young ladies under twenty summers
should never firt with Cleveland drummer
Because full often they will find
Those drummers leave young wives behind
Gen. Howard will not be sent to the pcniieI
tisry for life, lie is good man. but he has bee
unfortunste-in being found out.-Si. Loais RI
Since the financial debate in Congress bega,
many suicides are reported In different parts
the country. This is probably only eolne
donce.-C1yrier-J journal.
A libel suit has been brought sgsisst the Ser
stoliia MIss Sl0nal for m aliciously gommentin