The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-06-13

BUDGET OF FUN. Some !
Mrs Fadover saws it's wonderful how chill to tell OF
dren do pick up things. Little Billy wanted remark
rooet nntoto -, dinner and he asked for lest unle
cremated murphvl replied:
- OF cam
The young lady in Wisconsin who receved go
nnrted as snoiIiur for some more damaging by visit
on his XII
A man was Boosting that he had been mar boy; t
red for twenty wears and had given his which pr
wife a cross word Those who knew him say there is,
he didn't dare to- grandma
Much ,iven to serenading his dulcinea A lady
with T,m lonely tonight love, without thee, nethy.
in,oiorn Swain was interrupted by dogs the asked
other evening who eaectuay dsppelled his Putting t
loneliness during two-milc race. sNpence
a skippin
The cnrrcnt value of a woman in Eastern morning.
caIues A little
-- learn the
1t is wonder scarfpins don't get scasck resemble
they often ride on the bosom OF sucn HeaVy mother
sWels. who n
Have you blasted hopes? asked young Tn wh,
Iauy OF librarian WIN NJ o.. -; i Uncle
over his jaw. No. maam,' said he, 1T Is only
blasted toothache'' A boy
,.-, ia ouu;d ecured
laoy uskeo VETERAN Mion IA ~ hn an crying W
s"eieu, iho Ii'hhie, hn"'i' ing: III
tt, .. o,r, cause hi
~ husslH ioi,om " Nv. ~ har friends are pa, wor
present and consequently lovers never indulge A Der
in such pleasant affairs as holding pepper Ncb v
mint lozehSes LOT each o'iiei " oi'' house in
Take company of boys chasing butter i iito fn
ties, says yS trrn tho bnffcri;os judcio
Coa's on VIC 10y any, ho tho naporama If co can
the world. J conv
The .nensiye pelican of the wilderness is to-day
hnt Npu, Vortors call Susan Anthony New Hay
rubber W
Missouri iurv in the case of a man found he hche
,, ton bullets in his head decided that he blue cote
had been shot, met some bad accident not pun PACK
inst now known, he'd shut
pulling a
Doctor said a onceited literary ass to mai ienS
Holmes on the streets of Boston, am going elastic, al
to deliver my lecture in Lowell tonight horse anc
an, Glad If i dislike those Lowell Deope, stretch si
retorted the doctor. drlVer SUI
his ears,
Il tell you said Wisconsin to a winning
neiphbor next day after buryng his wife, the biggi
when came to get into bed, and lay thar,
and not hearing Lucinda jawng around fer Dad s
an hour and half it made me feel as if I'd fowls are
moved into strange country WY,
Beauty and bashfulness are often united ems that
vet the loveliest maiden is admired tor her why ny
cheek. =, wv:
There are two ways of doing it, said Pat Three!
TO himself as he stood musng and waiting Tor was pa
q lob on street corner If 1000 stood thiI
must lay up 5000 year for twenty years or you prove
I can nut away $50 a year for two hundred Easily
years. Now, which way will l do 1t" one? layi
Yes, tn
Apropos of the talk about theatrical nu. And al
sances in Gotham male animal there adj and dom
vocates the lowering Of the extraordinary ed Really
ifces worn on the heads of the paygoers OF old lady
the opposite He paid five dollars, In mense lea
Guiding gloves, to Nilsson but instead OF boy is
seeing 'Mignon,' al he saw was 'chlgnon' for it. II
- and III Il
Don't prevaricate, sir, Numbered Column the third
blan Judge to witness from the mines. Cant
help it, Judge answered the miner Ever RATTLE
since rot kick from mule that Knocked Kentucky
my teeth out, prevarcate gocd deal versation
are remaI
An inebriated individual precipitated him fishing
self down the depot stairs, and on striking met Hi
the landing, reproachtully apostrophised in coming
himself thus: If you had been wanting to tlcman o,
come down stairs, why didn't you say 50, you him.
woodenheaded fool an I'd come WITH you, board ma
an showed you the way He lv
" Yes; @
Staying and going Mrs, Stumpy: That Very S
is the almond tree, my lady. 1t always flow 'Remar
ers before it leaves; it leaves directly after II We'll
flowers and after it leaves, stays the sum the most
mer through just as you see IT, wonder
--- = him
A facetious citizen in peculiarly playful and he hi
humOr the other day. having occasion 10 re- he beggeT
prove his betternalf knocked her down with up in my
bible, remarklng as he dld So overcome evil ably soci
HER B
The Mississippi Legislature adjourned last Il wedrt
Tuesday, III considerable hurry and conia stopped a
sion The same evening there was an ndig- sending f
nation meeting of washerwomen held on the that tunc
steps of the State House. red.
-- The jus
Good evening, said lady urcsseu IN ule their nan
height or rather the depth, of fashion, to her After
partner in the German OF one OF the late Das pcrforme
4 am tired to death. am going home 70 un years bc
dress myself 'What-any more" was the not the CT
partners answer. prevousl
--1s--------- Have y
A Chicago parson, who is also school asked Mr.
teacher handed problem to class in math- Yes
matics the other day The first boy took it, This be
looked at it awhile, and said i pass Sc performc
cond boy stared at and drawled out: can't wife
make it. Very well, boys said the parson, As they
well proceed to cut new deal and with who had
this remark the leather strap danced ike having
lightning over the shoulders OF those depraV mcn tn
cd mathematcians to satisfy
.-, - u. -, - c, lady:
An lntel uIou ms MANI VI "oti' Have