The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-08-28

A steam thresher is the latest nov
city in the Walla Walla Valley.
The autumn bonnets are to have
strings-thison the authority Of a mil
liner fresh from the other side"
The fashionable mosquito is larger
than ever this season, owing doubtless
to the wet and di5lgreeable spr h5-
An Indianapolis dog goes mad when
he hears piano played, but there's
hundreds Of men who do the same
thing,
The suderfuous blossohsoh afruit
tree are meant to symbolic the large
way in wi0h God loves to do pleasant
things.
Kate Field says that "Spain is the
mother Of all dust. 1t is the whitest,
lightest; heaViestI stickiest dust on the
earth"
When amember of the Boston Com
mon Council talks too long the bored
hand him card inscribedi "Hire a
halll'
A Detroit father keeps his boy irI
nights by vanishing a chair and sit
ting him down, It's a novel PLAN
but awful tough on the ttowsefs.
A crowd witnessing row in De-
troit was dispersed by the announce
ment that "a collection would now be
taken UP for poor widow"
A mother advised her daughter to
oil her hair, and tainted fiat away
when that damsel replied, "Oh no,
ma; it spoils the gentlemen's vests. "
A Chicago editor, who went out
for a days sport with his gun and
rod, shot forty-fve dollar COW, and
caught an old hat with stone in it.
When the wife IS detected showing
unusual Affection for her husband, il
may fairly be expected that she will.
appear before long in . new bonnet.
!. a Tennessee man wrote mis- will on
i q paper collar, and passed through
The Probate Court as we'll as any
other will, though little unhandy
about filing
Eyes, SIR" said d Michigan fourth
of July orator, "Putman went right
into tie VOLTS den, dragged her out,
and the Independence of America
was secured"
i A st. Louis paper had two col
unn account Of d hotel in that city.
The bedbugs, after reading it over
carefully, held meeting and de-
nounc6d the paper for notmentioing
them.
A painter being asked to estimate
/ the cost Of painting certain house,
drew forth pencil and paper, and
! made the following calculation: "a
naught is q naught, three into five
+ twiceyou can't-Tll paint your house
$ for fifty dollars"
I The Danbury man declined to ac-
9 company Cyrus w. Field and the
0 party that went to help celebrate the
late millennial Of Ieelandin the frigid
y region, but says he will wait till the
: next one and then go, like Baxter'i
: hog, in gang by himself.
7 Time 10 M, yesterday Dirty-facec
!. child loquitor-" Papa, why dom
! !, they wash my face and put clear
VI clothea on fne?" Distressed Pater
= = familiss-"Shut up, Tommy; YOU
Y mamma's in the front parlor reading
Y y the Beecher- Tilton business"
I On Wea prairie, near Lafayette
y, is little hut four feet high, with
I q forty-foot lightning rod on It. Tn
i i proprietor, being asked il he wa
Z afraid Of the lightning, replied: mo
+ d bit; but it keeps those cussed light
d ning-rod tellers from striking"
n An Ottumwa boy charged o STUN
It with blasting powder, attached q fus
Il to blow it up, and got on the fenc
ir to see the fun. He Isn't collecte
i, enough yet TO tell how funny it wa
O. although the citizens arc collectin
/ him in different parts of the suburbs
is A Scotchman went to lawyer
lg once for advice, and detailed the Oil
Of cumstances Of the CASE "Have 20
told me the facts precisely as they OF
curedP" asked the lawyer. "Ohl o.
90 dirl" replied he, II Thought it best
h. tell ye the plain truth. Ye can pr
theiies into 1t YOURSELF"