The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-08-14
PAors AND FANc1rs.

the woods and stare az people passing
by with as much impudence as a light
ming rod agent.
There is no false modesty in the
New Jersey people. Every man knows
that he would make a good governor,
and every woman feels that she is ready
to lecture at $500 per night.
"A Massachusetts, merchant has
been in business forty-seven years and
never advertised, and never means 20.
He commenced on a capital of $500,
and has run it up TO SSO5.
"A Milwaukee, dry goods clerk has
struck for ten hours sleep. He read
that n man who does brain work re-
duires more sleep than one who per-
forms simply physical labor.
Tomatoes were first used in this
country as an edible in the year 1919,
but they did not come into general uso
until more than twenty years subso-
quent TO that date.
"A pair Of old boots, n bag Of salt
and a pound Of copperas, II dropped
in.o a spring at the right time OF the
year, will go a good ways toward es-
tablishing fashionable summer resort.
-Oshkosb. Wis, boasts Of woman
104 years old, and, as IL is popular 20
assign some reason for living 80 long, 10
is asserted that she "never used ker-
osene oil. >"
Simeon Gray, Of Port Hope, Della
ware. shot himself because some one
left a baby on his doorstep. How
much better TO have picked up the in
FAINT and softly handed IL along 20 tho
house around the corner.
In some localities OF Illinois tho
chinch-bug has already destroyed halt
Of the growing corn crop. Entire fields
look as il they had been drenched with
scalding water, and great alarm is felt
among the farming communities.
The head Of the family is about TO
| cat an apple. Mother" Say, father,
give us a piece" Daughter" O, IA
ther, give me a piecr." Son" q, IA
ther, / want a piece" Niece" Won't
You please give me o piece, too p Fa-
| ther (disgusted y" Here, the rest OF
you take the apple and give me
piece"
There is no sight so exhilnrnting in
these times Of financial distress as a
party of young men gathered on tho
green sward in front Of n boarding
house in the cool of the evening bat
ting with dexterous mallet the bound
ing spheres through ferruginous loops
as prescribed in the immortal author OF
the noble game croquet.'
A distinguished clerical gentleman
OF Wisconsin is somewhat noted Tor
parsimony, and for "dead-heading
his way on lecture tours, etc. He has
4 AZ n
party in Madison in conversation with
the hostess. he said Madam, do you
know that / also, like Leander and
Lord Byron, swan across the Helles-
pont 2" The lady said g have 10
doubt but what you did, rather than
20 pay your fare on a steamboat.
There is a Chinese establishment
on camp street, near Julia, New Orleans,
that manufactures n peppermint OIL;
and the following placard can be seen
in its show-window
"the Peppermint Oil
for
He'd AXE
Belle "
10th 90
this oil amy person
ort TO have n bottle in his pocket il will
kure eny kline sickness ware il happen
Chicken down is said 10 form n
beautiful cloth when woven. For about
a square yard Of the material, pound
and a-half OF down is required. The
fabric is said Co be almost indestruct-
ible, as, in place Of fraying or wearing
out at folds, il only seems TO felt the
tighter IL takes dye readily, and IL
thoroughly waterproof. There ap'
pears to be a good opportunity here Tor
some ingenious person TO invent ma
chimes 10 cut and treat feathers.
Canon Kingsley, in his recent work
on Health and Educntion," says
"Did try TO train n young man OF
science TO be true, devout, and earnest,
accurate, and daring / should say
Read what you will, but at least read
CARLYLE. IL is a small matter TO me,
and i doubt not 10 him, whether you
will agree with his special conclusions,
but his premises and his method are
irrefragable F; for they stand on fact and
common sense"
Some enterprising ST. Lonisans,
with n number Of Southerners, have
negotiated for a tract of territory,
which has been found suitable for the
growth in large quantities OF the trop-
ical plant, rita, the fibre OF which Is
claimed to be superior 30 iute or hemp.
These gentlemen are Of the belief that
very simple machinery will prepare
their plant for market, and that it's
manufacture will prove very profitable,
now that the production OF hemp is de-
creasing in this country.
This comes from Hartford At the
banquet of the Baptist Social union, at
Fenwick hall, the bills Of fare were
worded in French, and the waters were
much pazzled thereby. OF course the
learned cf the cloth we're in nowise dis
but when they called the
name of a dish desired the walters could
not catch the meaning, and with finger
marking the mysterious name the latter
would hand the programme TO the cook,
whose superior intelligence insured the
filling of the order. Judge Wayland,
Of New Haven had 10 deal with an un-
obtuse knight Of the apron,
at length getting out of patience, he
asked "Do Won know what an idiot
is P" "No, I don't" replied the oblig-
ing and ingenious waiter. "I'll see II
we have any," He departed in quest OF
an idiot, and a universal roar OF
laughter.
-"You have not sent for me, but
have come Your name, sir, il known
and honored from one end Of this great
republic TO the other. When the Ma.
tional Treasury was threatened by
horde Of greedy congressman, you
stood like a wall OF adamant between
The people and those infamous salary
zrabbers. Lend me q dollar !" ." My
dear SIR" the colonel hastened 10 ex-
plain, "you mistake the case entirely;
[ was one Of the grabbers." "You
we're ?" (Grasping the colOnel's hand
warmly.) $50 much the better Let
me congratulate you that parsimoni-
ous public could not frighten you out Of
what was fair remuneration for you in
services. am glad that your
Decuniary circumstances are so much
better than i supposed. Make IL two
dollars |" And the colonel did. 10 was
.he only clean thing left for him 10 do.