Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1874-06-13
4 Soldiers Singular Mishap.

ing account OF Sau disaster mat be-
iel him while be was playing com,
mandant of a military post during the
late war:
In 1863 ] was ordered to the town
Of u, in Mississippi, as Post
Command1nt. had often heard Of
the place a. Icing gay, drc,sy town,
with more than usual number of
young ladies. Vow. as had been
on field tuty for seven or eight
months, without having even bowed
10 member Of the female pcr,ua-
sIon,' | VERY naturally felt rgu~iIcra-
Die anxiety o to the state or nv
wardrobe, which, TO tell the truth was
in deplorab'y dilapila,cA condition.
Upon examination | found HAT nv
best coat was jacheIGs that a ball y
and my best pants had seen service
until they were dangerously thread
hare in certain places. However.
they were the best | had. and after
carefully brushing, | rolled them up
for dress occasions. | reached NY
post on Saturday evening, and. hav-
ING no acqyaintances, concluded On
sunday morniug to attend divine ser.
vice. 1t did not take me long to
dress, and my Jacket and trousers
were soon on duty and tying sash.
slightly the worse for wear, about my
waist, as finish, | considered myself,
for the times prcScn,ablc. ! soon
reached the church, and fouud,i filed,
with the exception Of one pew. which
being under window, imagined
bad been avoided on account Of the
sun, which shonc fall upon ii. With
an old soldiers Indifference to tribes, /
boldly entered the vacant pew and sat
ne down. As did so thought
detected a merry twinkle in tie eyes
and a nervous twi,rhing Of the laugh
ing-musclcs Of some rosv-chcckcd mis-
ses who occupied the scat in rear of
me. After being seated few mo-
mcn's the opening hymn YVES read,
and q the congregation arose | made
an eirJrt to get upon my feet, but was
horriIicd to find myself glued to the
bench The Young ladies in rear
smiled audibly, which | cannot say
added to my comfort. Another effort.
e,lIovod nv poculiar noise, as of cloth
being torn, and smOthcrcd ate he !.
te-hc." from the young ladies'
! Thought |, Here's a fix for the first
appearance All this time | had
kept "cyes front :" but now, taking a
sly glance out Of the corner Of nv
right, | saw the situation at once.
The confoundcd beach was made of
".tdt' pine, with only Que coat Of
paint, The heat Of the sun had
drawn the crude turpentinc to the sur
face, making a soft coating of at least
a fourth of an inch in thickness.
There | sat, che observed of all
Observers with Il face like red cab
bage-rcguiarIy "liucd." The ser
mon SIZED intcrmirablc. dared
not loo any one, and upon the
slightce cotton the Internal trousers
would lear with noise that was ex.
cecdingly embarrassing. I'm afraid
my mind was too intent on planning
an escape when the service should
close to enjoy the parsons cIoqucncr,
and regret 10 say that | have never
been able TO remember bis text. I
felt that every man, woman and child
in The house knew my wrctchcd pre-
dIcamcnt. eff | only had on a long
tailed coat instead OF this dcnred lack
ct, thought |. Finally, with a feel.
Ing of desperation, | determined to
make a break for it; and while the
last song was being sung | took adj
vantage Of the higher notes TO tear
myself loose, which accomplished
just as the song was finished. In
tensely relieved TO find myself free. |
arose for the benediction, holding with
careful carcicSSpcSs my sloughcd bat
be- nd me TO conceal damn ges. But
was hardly erect upon nv feet be-
fore ] perceived the eyes . my fair
fellowHXhippers directed to the
place | hN-I;Rst vacated, and every
face convulsed ~6ab repressed laugh
ter.' whirlcd and gave one glance.
and Oh n,iroJiie dictu, there, stuck
tight 10 he bench ,caS The ,chole seal of
my unfortunate JreechcS-at least
enough 'to bottom a chair ~
Is How ! got out or reached my room
leave you - guess, for | have no
distinct recollection of "thc order of
my going" was iaformed after
wards, by those who met mo on the