Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1874-05-01
About MarIying--Advlce to Mothers
end Girls.

AD0uJ Marfylng--AdVIce 10 MOtners
and Girls.
In the Education Of american Girls,
the author says:
| have spoken of the importance of
thorough healthful training of body and
mind in view of the natural conditions of
marriage and maternity, which may be
the lot Of every woman. IL Is not pOssi-
BILE to overstate the importance or the
sanctity of these relations, but 1t is possi-
BILE to look so much at the mere outside
facts of marriage az to ignore its real
meaning. The woman falsely or care
lesslv mated is far less married than she
who keeps her ideal high and true and
remains single; not because she values
marriage too little, but because she has
too great reverence to enter into IT lightly
or falsely. And the mother has far more
need to fit her daughter to meet nobly the
possibilities of unwedded life than even
the duties of marriage. Marriage is so per
fectly natural state that it reveals its
own laws; and a simple, healthlul, hap
py, trusting love will guide women more
wisely than much precept. But in our
present social state the probability for
any girl is by no means small that she
may be called on to live out her life with
out entering upon this blessed relation.
If she has been taught that woman's
sphere is marriage and marriage alone -
that only by that means she can hope Tor
life of happiness, usefulness, and re-
spect-she will probably become misera-
BILE, helpless, lonely, irritable woman
perhaps seeking marriage at any price to
escape from the condition she breads; or
failing that, finding life without purpose,
a D.,f rIa
has learned that Providence is
boundless in its resources, and that
when one way is closed another is opened,
so that call things work together for
good :" if she knows that her nature will
be far nobler without the form ofmarriage
unless the spirit and truth can be present
also, she will find that there is life open
to her-a life of devotion to truth, right
and beauty, of service to humanity, and OF
love Just as noble and true as she could
attain in marriage. She is not fit to marry
until she is fit TO stand alone. Unless lite
has purpose and meaning of its own to
her as well as to her husband she cannot
bring him an equal dover, and she has no
test of the new feeling which should take
its value from the richness of the life that
she is ready to blend with anuther's.
Nothing marks the progress in the eleva-
tion of woman, during the last half
century, more than the passing away of
the opprobrious use OF the term "old
maid" which is now rarelY.heard. 1t IS
possible TO remain unmarried from low
motives, shrinking from the duties and
responsibilities of the relation, or from a
worldly ambition for higher station than
love can offer Such sin brings It's own
terrible punishment with it. But far
- -, g
marriage, from true nobility of character,
or from devotion TO some other relation
which seemed paramount that woman
remains single. How many a woman,
hiding in her secret heart the romance
that gave a charm to her youth, but
did not find its reality in liie, hss
devoted herself TO the service OF
humanity with all the passionate de.
votion of lover to his mistress! Ot
| such a one, to whom hundreds of helpless
babes looked up as TO a guardian and pro-
| tector, an artist said: "She has the moth
| er in her face" We owe too much 10
this noble class # women, In art, litera-
ture and philanthropy, and in the service
of the country in lis most trying hour
ever to forget their claims, and he will be
forever stigmatized as unworthy of the
name of pure and noble manhood who
sneers at the virtue which he cannot un
derstand, or vilifies with opprUbrious epi
thets the noble women whom Theodore
Parker-God bless him for the word
called his GLORIOUS phalanx OF old
maids"
Another wrong is often done to the
young girl, under the name Of prudence
or worldly wisdom, by breaking down hel
ideal of life, al d especially her ideal O
the possible partner of her future life
TennysOn speaks of one form of this, II
addressing the vain coquette as the posi-
BILE mother:
" Oh, see the old and formal, fitted TO thy petit.
| part,
With a little hoard of maxims preaching down
| daughters heart"
Men often speak of the p7in it is Il
them to see the debasement of woman
because she represents to them an idea
of good, the other nobler self, for whicl
they mus strive. Man should represen
the same thing to woman. Love shout
see in its object the very crown and glor.
of creation.
The person love to us doth fit,
Like mama, hath the taste OF all in 1t.
But the low social standing of moral
and manners for man has so degraded hir
that the very ideal of manhood is be
Titled, and the mother warns her daugt
ter not to expect much from her fulur
J husband; she has no right to hope 10
the loyalty of Sir Philip sydney or tn
pure ideality of Michael Angelo. 1t is
great wrong to man to demand so littl
from him. All human beings from chilC
hood upward are stimulated by the opiI
: ion entertained of them and the claim
upon them for noble and high bshavio
Whatever your own experience, do NJ
thrust the poison of doubt and unbeli,
in goodness into a daughters mind. l.,
her keep her faith and her romance, an
look for a hero tO win her young hear
True, it is hard to see a Thaddeus {
Warsaw with Il cigar in his mouth, or
imagine Hamlet with a blue veil abol
e his hat, but nevertheless the race of hero'
r is not extinct, and the girl had better pr
serve her faith and her love till the TIT
e knight appears than to accept the bell
I that all men are alike unworthy, and tn
she must not ask for purity and trul
!, which exist only in the dreams of r
s nance. Mans low idea of woman HI
{ reacted upon him; her elevation will r
store him to his true dignity, as equal
e entitled to spiritual and moral elevate
e of soul and refinement Of manners wi
e herself. 1t is as demOralizing to YOU
women TO hold men in contempt as il
T for young men to have a low idea
d women. "In honor preferring one a
e other" is the true condition of love, al
no one has truly loved who has not c
s alted the beloved tar above ones self.
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