Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1874-11-10
TRI-WEEKlY TIMES
Published every
Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday,
1y FRANK KENYON,
TERMS:
one copy, per annum, $40 90
One copy, six months, 3 90
6ne copy, three months, 3 90
by Carrier, 25 cents a week.
COAST BREvITIES.

House in Virginia, the other night
during the progress of the play, a
rush was made in the pit, and the
occupants of the dress circle
thinking fire had broken out
made repid exit. After all the
cause of the trouble was, the lou bv
Mr.. Sutro of his mother-in-la Its
strange with. what affection some
people regard their mothers -in-law.
There is difference in being in
tight place, and being tight in place.
See the point?
A repentant bride recently wrote
to her parents across the ocean; "The
motion of a screw steamer is like
ridirg 3 camel that has heart disease
and you do not mind single throb.
| know nothing to compare with it,"
The trouble with the gal was she
didn't understand the motion. Not
old enough in the wicked ways of
the world.
A peaked-nose young woman of
forty summers bit into q cling stone
peach yesterday, and the stone there
of dislodged her teeth and back hair,
and threw them from their basis. 1t
took two men three hours with a
crowbar to pry her nose out of her
chin. Why will these gay and festive
maidens resort to such deceptions to
attract these horrid men.
A lady wants to know what is the
meaning of "ante' and "pass the
buck" Her matrimonial companion
husband of course, no mutual friend
in this) uses it in his dreams, and
she is afraid it indicates new money,
or some other chest disease.
There is one great disadvantage in
stockings supported by yard of
blue elastic. They can't be pulled
down and turned at the Toes when
they get holes in Elm.
A NOVELIST writes of ga wife of
three years standing" A man who
keeps his wife standing three years,
must be fool, brute, and ought to
go farther west.
Mrs. Thing-em bob, having asked
her husband to yet 100000 beads for
her new matelassess silk. Mr.. T.
observed he'd bead and if he would.
What did Eve say when Adam
told her to take anapple ? She said,
II don't care Adam if l do
Thirteen good people of Silver
have this week voluntarily walked
into the office and planted down ten
dollars each for the TIMES. If there
is one thing more than another that
warns up the LYON COUNTY TIMES
corner of our heart, it is for people
TO act just in that way.
"Lydia, can you tell me what
will match best with brown red
ingote this winter" AS we are not
posted in fashions, and never heard
of a brown-red in gotes before; but
suppose the merino. fine wool sheep,
the mountain ibey, or young man
with scarlet hair and pink eyebrows
would do in tight squeeze.
"It's forty years, my old friend
Sam, since we were boys together"
"Is it? Well, don't speak 50 loud;
there's the widow Shelly in the next
room."
dnlou, dDOut my iiSV
ladies', between the ages of eighteen
and forty, sound of wind, limb, and
bristle, by fifty anxious bachelors
and widowers of Sutro. Husbands
and homes guaranteed by the late
Independent Party, John ii. Mills,
President.
John Gamble, well-known sport
of Carson, has been arrested for
forging an acceptance OF his mother
in-law. If has mother hadn't gam
bled in her youth, John wculd
never have done it,.
Snuggins arose too early one
morning, and began to scold the
servant. His little four-year-old,
who had been listening attentively
during the conversation, broke in
with, j." Father, stop scolding, you
needn't think that Jane is mamma
Friend, you seem to be in trou-
BILE; can 1 assist you in any way p
Eyes, stranger; do you see that cut?
My wife did it this morning with a
fiat iron, and then sent nee down to
buy her a new bonnet. l have been
sitting here for an hour, trying to
decide whether l will buy one or
not, and blame me, stranger, II l
haven't about decided to get it,
In a recent action for breach of
promise of marriage, the defendants
counsel asked the plaintiff, "Did
my client enter into positive agree
ment to marry you ?" "Not exact
ly," she replied; " but he courted
me, kissed me, squeezed me, and
told my sister he intended to marry
into the family"
The Lowell (Mass.) girls have
novel way of getting rid OF any
male employee who happens to be
obnoxious to them. They rush at
him in groups and kiss him, and
keep up this treatment until the
poor fellow is forced to leave.-Er.
We shall apply tor a position in
that once. Well bet we couldn't be
forced by such sweet manevres as
those. We could stand it as long as
the girls could, and some over
Freetrdder.
Not doubt of it, Doremas! In
rtnt lfNv