Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-05-28
BREVITIES.

& MODEL lodging-house-The Patent
Office.
BEADED and embroidered sacques are
vTeEy fashionable.
SMOKING may discOlor but 1t prevents
decay of the teeth.
Z MICHIGAN editor calls another ga
yel-headed idiot"
AND now the base voice of the umpire
is balling DER the land.
q NAN weighing AT pounds recently
Lied in Somerset, Mass.
ECTHANAsIA was the sensation a wear
Eg3i now 1t is cremation.
To HAVE ideas is to gather. Tothink Is
30 weave them into garlands.
How TO shorten ocean voyages
Longthen the ships.-N. j. Mai.
a HARTFORD paper returns lis thanks
-ar $50 bottles of cough medicine
& ST. LOUIS clearinghouse martyr Is
1u Ezvor of cTematiOn-in his coffee
WATERS waist deep have made the low
lands Of the Mississippi a waste Of wa
Cers.
WHAT sort of q saint would q convert
Gd sailor make? Why, an anChcTlte, prob
ably
THE Buffalo street railway companies
clip their horses, and think i 3 g0o5
tl5ur.
WBTERs trouble themselves 10 aguplify
what their readers trouble themselves 10
aEridge.
4 JERSEY CITY horse broke into store
1z4G inflated himself to death eating dried
pnLes
TIE American Car-list war-Thc rail
roaa fight for who shall carry the most
1migrants.
TIE belle Of an Ohio town is named
4lGty, and naturally where Duty calls
eIere you'll md 'em.
MATTER oF-FACr old gentleman thinks
e must be a very small base ball that can
Pc caught or a fly
Mr. ROBERT BONNER last week rejected
a1 offer OF S10O, 900 in gold for his horse
DeEtcr.-NesC York SIN.
BUTT0NED shoes with patent leather
Ups and scaiioped ankle tops may be con-
sICered now the most fashionable.
On, the earnest love Of woman! Little
EUr itself It seeks; 1t is not i thing UncOm-
anon for its flame to last SIX weeks!
BRIDES are gradually coming back to
white tulie for their wedding dress-pret-
1.l- than silk and more appropriate.
SUICIDE now within reach of all
seTosene on.y fifteen cents a gallon" is
she Joyous announcement of a TitusVille
aper.
4 CIRCUS has already left so many IN
paid bills out West" that an editor
centuries to hope that this world is not all
4eeting snow"
"a DERASGED lover, living near Louis
rilie committed suicide by taking hold
tile edge 0f pond and holding his
head under water
BB0THERLY Love is not the Only kind
.-1y cultivate in Philadelphia For 10
..- fond hearts were made to beat as r
-.l in that city last year.
THE Albany Journal never has less than
1--4t columns on hanging affair, ana
JlIelmes reaches twelve, ana marked
sely il always sent TO the widow.
THE kim 0f Tie Sandwich Islands has
neel appointing certain journalists and
authors t. office in his dOminions. But
what can be expected Of a savage?
IT IS estimated that there are800.OO life
insurance poIicy-holders in this country,
pc amount they are insured for being
qua to the national debt
al CONTEMPORARY mentions that a near
gifted hen which misJook saWdust for
a-dian meal ate seartily thereof, then laid
nest iull 81 wooden knobs.
Will I 'sp0se the burned stuff got
mixed, . was the sad reply Of a Missouri
druggist Wlel he killed Il woman by
Giving arsenic for salts.
LONGsTBEET undertook to thrash a
lew Orleans reporter the other day,
va when he found his head in chanceTy
Ae mildly aqologi2ed, and the fight was
declared ef'
FoTAToEs contain when sound and ripe
1u Ter cent. Oy weight Of starch, wheat
contains about 80, while wheaton flour
contains about 70 and rice about so per
cent. BY weight of starch
AND so they 90, " one Of the Portland
School Committee IS reported to have
said; our great men are fast departing
first Greeley, then Chase and now Sum
ucr-and / don't feel very well, myself"
Bust0H Gl9be
THERE is . farmer near Flushing, L.
H., who owns a Kentucky-bred mule that
has, within the last thirty DAYS, kicked ia
seventeen barn doors, UnrOofed q dozen
chicken coops and trampled the life out
AZ four Of his tav0rite pigs.
VIRGINIA is rapidly becoming a Wine
producing country. Vineyards are being
established il the vicinity Of Richmond,
au8 the profits are said to be great, while
Cite quality is reported to be very much
bike the imported claret, Madeira and
white wines
THE papers are opening a crusade
against the large class of persons who go
cuusining. Nauy a burdened house
keeper has said " We are often visited by
persons 10 whom we are under no obIiga-
E1ous-persGns who want to 90 some
where"
WHAT time is it?" asked William Case,
&s lie sat in j Kansas City hotel The |
clcrk told him, and Mr.. Case continued: |
Then It's time TO diel" aud he shot him |
self through the heart Why can't all /
suicides do the matter up in highfalutin' |
STYLE like Mr. Case?
Most rogues fail to get their deserts, a |
few get about what belongs to them, but |
NJ is rarely that one gets such an album /
c,&nce of the article as did Julius Spero at |
Jersey City, who, for receiving stolen |
goods, got seven years on one count and |
three each on fifteen others, making fifty /
two years imprisonment.
YOU'VE Greene emigrated from Maine
10 New York a few months ago, and /
wrote home to his anxious parents that /
he was doing fiue-in fact, moving in the |
first circles. 1t subsequently transpired !
taat the clarion voice of the young man
was crying peanuts in the first circle |
ut BowerY Theatre.
NEW BEDFORD, which ranks No 1 on !