The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-06-12
GOOD POINTS.
Hub-bub-A Boston boy

What is the keynote of good
breeding? Il natural.
Gid q big nave and little honest
men will worship him.
a gentleman caught cold by
kissing a lady's snowy brow.
Patience is a flower that grows
not in every ones garden.
Let well enough aIone."-Suf-
fer healthy sufficiency to remain
in solitude.
The dressing-gown is the most
lasting of all garments--it is sell
dom worn out.
Habit is a cable; we weave
thread of it every day, and at last
we cannot break it.
Why is beefsteak like To-
connective? It's not of much ac-
count without it's tender.
All human virtues increase and
strengthen by the practice and ex-
perience of them.
Why should a spider be a good
correspondent? Because he drops
line by every post.
A contemporary calls his items
"Nits," to show that he gets them
out OF his own head.
The current value of women in
Eastern Africa is two cows. At
Niblo's only two calves.
The french press is now sup
posed to exhibit the best speci-
men of "ruted paper eXtant.
Gle fell dead and expired in
two minutes" says Georgia pa
per of the death of negro.
What is the most daring theft a
man can be guilty of? Taking q
chair at public meeting.
Marriage is often said to be a
lottery; but Calab declares his be-
lief that it is a game of cribbage.
There is a sly fellow up town
who has laughed in his sleeve so
much that it has become thread
bare.
Births are being announced as
"Our Young Folks for April" in
the Turner Falls, Mass, Repor-
ter.
Placards on the st. Louis street
cars declare that 'sThis car can't
wait for ladies to kiss good-by.'
If man is murdered by his hired
man should the coroner render q
verdict of ''killed by his own
hand 2"
Value the friendship of him who
stands by you in storm; swarms of
insects will surround you in sun
shine.
Macbeth must have been 8 tobac-
fallen Unto the scar and yellow
leaf"
Two horns will last an OK a life
time, but many man wants that
number every morning before
breakfast.
Jaynesville has an educated pig
called Ben Butler There is .
chance for a libel sutton the
part of the pig
Why do women talk less in Feb
rurary than in any other month ?
Because it is the shortest month in
the year.
A New Jersey paper boasts of q
va nh skasa knrrE n
three years old. We shouldn't call
him very new.
A German being required TO give
a receipt in full, after much mental
effort produced the following: Il
ism full wants no more monish,
John Swachhamner."
An agricultural paper recon-
Inends quart of brandy TO cure
the staggers. We have thoughi
brandy was the cause of staggers
This engine won't work. said 8
fireman to the chief of the fire de.
partment. 'sNo wonder" was The
reply; 'tit was made TO play.
The difference between q tale.
bearer and sealing wax is, that seal.
ing wax burns to keep q secret and
the tale-bearer burns TO tell one
The editor of Nashville paper il
accused by his neighbors of having
caught cold while sleeping il
church with bis pew door open.
"If save ten cents q day from
NV drinks" ruminated old Red
nose, s.it win be $3.50 q year, anG
| in fifty years it will be Sl,S2J, AMI
then / can marry Mary. Dea
Mary
The Interior. KY, journal has a
editor of giant intellect. AT leasi
he says he has cabbagehead fou
feet in circumference in his Office
Put . beggar on horseback an
he will ride 20 the devil. D-Estat
, lish mendicant upon the upeI
/, most section of . charger, and b
: will transport himself to ApollyoI
Whoever has gone through niue
of life must remember that be hs
thrown away crest deal of useleI
D uneesiness upon what was muc
8 worse IN apprehension than in RI
atty
Il The old superstitioas notion TIL
: crccodiles weep has been explode
. by the scIentists; but il Is preti