The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-05-15

Eli Love, of Wayne county, Ohio,
climbed a tree to shake out a coon. The
dogs heard something drop and went fof
it, but it was not the coon. was Eli
That was sensible old chap in Dele
ware, who, dying the other day said
"Don't write any poetry about me, and
don't fool around about monument.
A Vermont preacher, who sarcastically
asked his congregation to pray for the
editor Of the local paper, recently, had
bill sent to him for thirteen years sub
scription to that paper and $500 worth
Of religious notices.
Everybody should plan to have pleas
ant conversation at the table, just as they
plan for good food. A little story tell
ing, little reading, It may be ofhumor-
GUS items, will often render the meal
more beneficial Avoid, IL possible, GO
ing to the table call tired out" Put aside
trouble, and let meal time be a cheerful
time, and good results will be seen In inn
proved health.
Barnum is back from Europe, and the
reporters are after him regarding his bal
loon project The Snowman says he har
no aspirations nor expectations 10 make
an aerial excursion across Atlantic, and
he will not advance money to assist others
in doing so until he is reasonably satisf-
ed that the trip could be attempted with.
out any extraordinary risk to aeronauts.
Forty Is an ugly corner that takes
a man into the shs dow Of life, as il were.
But better be in the shadow with Friends
you love, than keep in the everlasting
sunshine of youth, il that we're possible
and see them go down IN the valley
without you. One does not feel hi
progress when all around IS going on at
the same rate.
An exhange truly says: at costs less
than cent a day to take your weekly
paper-less than diligent hen can earn
in year at the market price Of eggs, less
than one cigar a week, and a very cheap
one at that; less than a barber would
charge by the year to keep ones hair
trimmed; less than good-sized thanks
giving trukey, less than seat one night
at the opera; less than an energetic kiteh-
en- girl will waste in a week. A penny
day can be saved in many a way better
than by stopping a family newspaper"
Four of the six officers Of the Turkish
army who have been living in Provi-
dence, r. l., attending TO the gun con
tracts with the Providence Tool comp
any, have gone to New Haven, where
they are appentieed 10 a large manu-
faeturer to thoroughly learn the business
of making guns and other mechanical
work The Turks are young men, wealthy
and influential in their country, and We
nv industrious and persevering In their
efforts to acquire the "United States Ian
guage."
About six months ago an old negro
woman Of this town was seized With
great longing TO be able TO read the
Scriptures, and communicated 10 her
friends her intention OF attending the
night school for colored people, with
view Of attaining this end. As she wac
sixty.five years old, aud did not know q
letter Of the alphabet, the idea was regard
ed as an evidence Of approaching imbeoi-
lity, and she was laughed TO acorn BY all
those who knew her. But this did not
deter her from her purpose. She went 10
school; and now, strange but true, ia able
to read the Bible with the utmost ease
and 'accuracy.-SAelby { (Ky) CourdHL
A man in Pottsville, Pennsylvnnia,
married widow with nine children.
He has four OF his own. Al the family
worship, the other night, he prayed for
"his'n but wouldn't offer a solitary pcti-
tion for her'n." This made her down
right mad, and she rallied on him with
the whole Of her offspring. The con-
fliet was short but decisive. The husband
retired in a bAldheaded manner, with
the marks Of skillet upon hia noble
brow. The widow prays for her own on
spring now, and the man Is browsing
around for a divorce. He says he don.t
care a cent for the. joys Of married LIE
not a single cent