The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-05-02
NO. ! s.,
fl sis,ll 4,s-5.JS 49, ~
All Sorts.

CIIuCU uu uuuyWu VI VAVU w ulS 0HNnIy,
on the ground that the hardest paFtsof
lis labor heretofore has been tho col
lection Of his salary, and it 'wonld kill
him to undertake to collect 500 more!
edo you try to talk a little common
sense =" exclaimed q sarcastic young
lady to q visitor. -. 80. 81.
ooh !" was the reply, "but wouidn't
that be taking an unfair advantage of
you4" = .437.3
"A Bunch of shiugles fell from
wagon ON the Troy, ferry-boat last
Manday, and struck fairly upon tho
head of acolored woman who said:
"Y' oughter De shame TO mnss \
culled woman's har dat wav- 7 wish
ed shingles fell ovah- -board'!"
An editor, who has been keeping
record of big beets. announces at last
tho the beet that beat the beet that
beat the other beet is now beaten by
the beet that beats all the beets,
whether the original beat, tho beet
that beat the beat. or the beat that
beat the beet that beat that beat, the
beat. .,.. ss. -e
81 suppose" said 2 ply smil-
ing. and trying to be witty while feel
ing the pulse. Of a patient who hadlge-
luctantly Submitted to solicit his nd
vice" l suppose yeu think me . bit
Of q humbug1" ~ a
""Sir," gravely replied the sick man
Twas mot aware that you could dis
cover a mans thoughts BY feeling his
pulse" 3.s% -. .e< r,..+
A Sign. painter recently decorated
the side Of a new liouee in an. English
town with these words, in staring
capitals: "Mrs. Brown Dealer in all
Sort of Ladies' The town was in
tumult Of wonder as to what might bo
the nature of such q business, until tho
painter, recovering from a weeks
illness, finished his work by adding,
"and Gentlemen's Wearing Apparel"
"That seat is engaged" eaidl a pretty
young girl on the Colorado Central.
"To whom 7"
GA young gentleman" she pouting-
ly said.
"Then, where's his baggage; 4 pray :"
Her ruby lips opened fike roaebnds
in Spring; her face in deep bushes
was dyed, as she muttered, cros.ly:l
"You hateful cll thing! Why. I'm
his baggage !"
AWKWARD FOR LITTLE TOMMY.-'
"Little Tommy didn't disobey NAM
ma, and 60 in swimming, did he p
sNo, mamma. Jimmy Brown and the
rest If tho boys weat in: hut l relnem-
bered, and would not 1isobcy you"
"And Tommy never tels lies, does he -
"No, mamma; or conlda't go to
Heaven" Then, how does Tommy
happen to have on Jimmy Browns
shirt9"
"A LAWYER .PoETRAIT.--A certain
lawyer had his portrait taken ii. his
favorite misunderstanding, with one
hand in lis pocket. His friends and
clients Advent to see it, and every
body exclaimed, Oh, how like! It's
/ the very picture of him." An old far
| mer dissented, "Just show US where
faint likem "'Tain't no. 'tain't re-
sponded the farmer. "Don't you SEQ
I~be has got his hand in his own pocket {;
'twould be as like again if he had it il,
somebody else's." ~
NOT THERE" Oh, / met such y
| beautiful girl in the street to-day ~
said a gentleman to Il lady friend, to
whom lie was doing the agreeable, not
many evenings since. "6be was
dressed in deep mourning. l think I
have never seen Q sweeter face"
8. Who could 1t have been Z" said his
listener, smoothing down her Domba-
zine dress, and gtaDcing down at tho
Grape folds, to see if th9y were proper
" adjusted. Pretty, you say. Who
could it have been9 I wasn't out!,'
John Varnnm, .Jr:, is a practical
Joker. A. few Sundays ago, in return
ing from church., he was cenversing
With his wife on the subject of tho
sermon, and remerked that he couldnt
believe saint and sinner ever dueit SO
near together as the SERMON represent
ed. His wife intimated that tloy
could, and instanced the following
case: ~''- Jsg
Haven't you and I dwelt in, tho
same house for several yearse"
!. This was sqnare hit on John, but
he worn,ed out Of it, and closed the case
with the following argument /:
Eyes, to be sure bst did ever call
yon q sinner Z"
Judgment for John, and no appeal.
Do you keep the right
Do yon hate the wrongs
Do on s:orn fight2
Do yon go it strong9
Are you fast and firm
In the things you do ?
Don't you ever sqnirm
Bully. then, for you.
Warm and leah to friends! ~
Silent toward yonr foe!
Steadfast to your eSds
StroEg in wiiat you know.
Meek il, Gods DEGREES!
Reyerent, just and true ~+
D" you practice thesev ~.
10 Bnllv, then, for ycus