Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1874-03-21
SCARED OUT OF A WIFE.

The narrative which L am about to
write, was told to me one bleak, cold
night, in country parlor. 1t was one
OF those nights i'll midwinter, when the
wind swept over the land, making every
thing tingle with its frosty breath, that
was seated before blazing fire, sur
rounded by Jolly, half dozen boys
and an old bachelor-a Peter Green
about forty and eight years old.
1t was just the night without, to
make those within enjoy good story,
so each of us had to tell his favoritte
story, save Mr.. Green, and as he was
n Jolly old fellow, we all looked for
jolly story. We were somewhat sur
prised to hear him say, "I have no
story that would interest you," so we
had to find other entertainments for
time, when one of the boys told me to
ask him how it happened he never got
married. So ] did.
Well, gentlemen" he began, sit
don't seem right for me to tell how that
happened, but as it is about myself |
don't care much. You see, when | was
young, we had to walk as high as five
miles to church and singing school,
which was our chief enjoyment. But
this don't have anything to do with my
not getting a wife, but just wanted to
show you that we had some trouble them
days III getting our sport.
John Smith and were like brothers,
or like Mary and her little lamb"
Where one went the other was sure to
go. So we went to see two sisters and
as we were not tine best boys imagina-
bic, the old gentleman took umbrage
and wouldn't allow us to come near the
house, SO we would take the girls to the
end of the lane, and there we would
have to take the final kiss
We soon got tired of that sort of fun,
and l told John, on our way to singing
school one night, that l was going to
take Saddle home, and that | was going
into the house, too.
He said the old man would run me if
did.
] told him was going to risk it any
how, let come what would.
He said "he would risk it if 1
would"
So home we went with the girls.
When We got to the end of the lane, l
" told the girls we proposed going all
the way
They looked at each other in way
didn't like too well, but they said the
old folks would be in bed, so they didn't
care if we did.
They were a little more surprised
yet when 1 told them we thought of
going in little while, but as all was
quiet when we got to the house, I'VE had
NJ trouble in getting into the kitchen.
Then and there we had our first court,
and | made up my mind to ask Sadie to
be my wife the next time I came.
1t was now past the turn OF the night.
and as we had four miles to walk, /
told John we would have to be going.
So we stepped out ON the porch, bat
just as we did SO, the sky was lit up by
lightning, and one tremendous thunder
peal rolled along the mountain sides.
Its echo had not died out in the far off
wales until the rain began to to pour
from the garnered fullness of the clouds.
we waited for it to stop until we were
all sleepy, when the girls said we eshould
go to bed III the little room at the head
of the stairs which ledout of the kitchen,
as their father didn't get up early we
could be home before the old folks were
astir, So after bidding the girls sweet
good highland hugging them little
and wishing them pleasant dreams,
and promising them to come back on
next Saturday night, We started for
bed.
We didn't have far to go, as the bed
stood near the head of the stairs. John
was soon in bed, but as l was always a
little slow, and full of curiosity, was
looking around the little room
At last | thought would sit down on
chest which was spread over with
nice, white cloth, while 1 drew off my
boots So down l sat, when, stars Of
the east, went plump into big egg
custard pie!
thought John would die laughing,
for he said | had smashed that custard
all to thunder, and the plate right in
two.
You see We had to be awful quiet, so
that the old man would not hear.
vas now ready to get into bed, so I
put the Light out and picked up nv
boots, thinking to put them in more
convenient place, when down nv one
leg W, mt through pipe hole, which had
been covered with paper, up to my hip.
Now. one mart nf mo ,,r,, 49,