The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-03-26
How to Live at a Hotel.

A hotel thief who was arrested in
London, had this memorandum on his
person :: ..
Receipt how to live on six shillings
week. In the first place you must be
possessed of a good suit of clothes.
Secondly,:you must have confidence in
yourself, otherwise called .plenty of
cheek. Thirdly, you must provide
yourself with a leather bag-about two
shillings, we'll stuffed with paper.
When you arrive at any place where
you wish to stay few days, walk into
a hotel and ask if they have bed at
liberty for few nights. If yes is
walk into the room and order dinner :;
ask to be shown into your bedroom, as
you want to wash come down again,
leaving your bag upstairs, taking care
to keep It locked up, that they shall not
| see what it contains. Take dinner
roast beef, fowl, fish, pastry, cheese,
ETC., taking care to order half pint of
sherry ; then they will think you know
your way about and have plenty of
money. After dinner call for whisky
hot and cigar, which is very nice. Sit
for an hour or two, and then go out on
business or walk, as the case may be.
Order tea for half-past five, with
toast. After tea sit a while, then ring
for brandy hot. Then take a walk,
weather permitting. Come in again
about nine, call for whisky hot, cigars
and slippers. Pull off your boots and
make yourself comfortable by the fire.
Have another whisky hot. Ring the
bell for your candle and inquire num-
Der OF your room. Retire to bed about
eleven o'clock, taking care to order
breakfast for nine, with ham or eggs,
or nice chop, etc. After breakfast
take walk, and so on as before.
Z. S.-The bag is the main point. It
may serve you for week F.; it has served
me for eight days; but you must watch
well the people with whom you are
with. Sometimes they will ask if it is
convenient for you to settle your bill. F"
If so, say "Of course it is. L am
just going to the post-ofice for letter.
Get my bill made out and I will settle
it when [ come back"
OF course take care not to return for
your bag, and be careful to put your
comb and brush in your pocket every
morning, as you cannot tell what may
happen during the day, and you want
to be off in hurry but, above all,
keep bold face on it. Then buy an
other bag and proceed on your journey.
You need never fear getting a nights
lodging ifyou possess bag, and if you
don't happen to have one, don't de-
spair, but go straight in and ask for a
bed they will not refuse. Order sup
per and breakfast and such like. After
breakfast you should say, "Can have
the bed again tonight, as I don't think
L shall be able to do my business to-
day 2" ....F' u
have stayed three days and nights
when haven't had bag-when I had
but one half-penny in the world to bless
myself with. But then, you will say,
what are you going to do for bag
Well, there are lots of bags at these
hotels; help yourself to one when you
depart and you are all right again. 1t
is month tonight since 1 had but one
half-penny left and no bag, and to-
night, the 10th of January, have one
half-penny in my pocket and bag to
be going on with, living like fighting
cock and seeing almost all the towns in
England. Yours, etc., E. J.