Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-11-05
THE ANCIENT GOOSE.
BY CHARLES BARNARD.

III tti-hlsIsflS lb-Ait-N-hitD
THAT'S what they said Of him HIS
mustache was gray, he was past thirty
nine, and, not being married, was con
sidered solitary 1t mattered little to
him. The care of his patients kept him
bright and active His profession was
sufficient for his wants. He was the
loved and respected physician for half
the families in the place, and he never
wanted for company and friendship.
Why lie had never married had been the
speculation of the village. The subject
was now threadbare and they had ceased
to talk of it. He saw much Of female
society, for he was one Of those fine, rare
natures that make brothers to girls"
Ills genial good nature, and, above all,
his ability to keep secrets, made him in
deed the brother to half the girls in
Wauchusetta. They came to him with
their little pains and ills and their little
eart-breakings and love sorrows. For
the one he had pills and advice; for the
other a ready ear counsel help and con
fidcnce.
No wonder Sally Depford came
fearful and angry to him in her
little difficulty with Sam Barrett.
A small rage made her the more
attractive As the doctor heard her
wolul tale ne could hardly fail to study
her face with admiration.
Young, twenty years his junior, rather
pretty, reasonably well educated, sensi-
bic, and quite ready for joke at any
time, she preferred the bright side Of
everything. Hence her present sorrow
She did not wish to be " bothered" as she
expressed it, with serious love affair
1t was Il trouble, Il vcXation. an inter
ference with her pleasure, and
Well there. It's entirely dreadful,
and | don't want it, nor him. Just as
Was fairly out of school and preparing
to have splendid time with the girls
then this thing comes along, and | don't
like it,"
She tried to cry, but could not. TWAS
not worth crying about So she brushed
back the black hair from behind her ears,
looked the venerable doctor straight in
the eye, and said:
That is So Doctor Is it nOt?"
The doctor had no immediate reply to
make lie would consider the case-and
her
There was something peculiarly Ut
tractiyc about her face, and it was small
wonder that sam Barrett, the last beau
left in the village, was desperately in love
with her
She frowncd. He was too slow
Come, sir, parade your wisdom. l can
pay for advice, and | want it,"
Go to bed early, get up late, and sleep
it off"
That's very good for him. Tell him
that, please. As for me, it does not help
bit There it stands. He will pursue
me with attentions. l don't want -"
Snub him"
Hes not snubable. Stumbling falls
harmless on his good-natured temporal
ment I've tried it, and it don't work
lie took it like a lamb"
Tell him you're not at hOme.'
Then he leaves his card and says
he will call again. And he is sure to
do SO"
:" Poor boy! He has it very bad this
time. The symptoms are alarming"
They are, Doctor, they are. and don't
like it. It's a nuisance, and a bother,
and | hate him. Therew
Feel better, my dear?"
Yes; for I'm getting mad. ] feel like
breaking things, and"
You do. You do it all the time. Poor
boy I'm not surprised! Here YOU go
about the place, being as attractive as
possible, and then you break all our
hearts, and scold US for it. What do you
eXpect?"
Its not my fault 1 didn't make my
self"
Well-no-not exactly"
For Heavens sake, Doctor, why don't
you do something? Advise me-"
Get marriedr'
Doctor, YOU are too hateful"
- presume so; doctors always are.
But that's my advice. Get married; then
he can no longer trouble you"
Nov you're silly, Doctor, and |
sha'n't tell you any more. You don't
care straw for my troubles, after all,
and"
Here she began to be teary ana threat
ened to have "a good cry"
:" My dear, my advice is not so bad.
You must admit that if you were en-
gagged he would leave you at once"
= suppose So"
Yes. Then get engaged; or, if you
don't care TO go so far, arrange with
some young man to be engaged to him
temporarily. Then your Sam -"
Hes not my Sam, thank Heaven!
!" Then your Sam will take unto him
self another wife, and when all is secure
on can break your engagement, and all
ill be serene again"
/" What an absurd ideal Jump into
,he water for the sake of escaping from
drowning. | tell you | don't want any
body's attention. 1t would be a dread
full trial to be engaged at all, even in
self-defense"
Not if the other party would agree
keep himself away, and simply lend a
amond ring for while, and play the
rt of the distant intended2"
: don't know, Doctor; it is a desperate
measure. But it would be etfectual."
Of course
would be rather amusing to 60
'9me and announce that l was engaged.
should have TO tell mother how 1t really
1000, and father would be, of course,
T into the secret The rest need not
now. Goodness what scattering
here would be, and how all the old
dies would talk
You need not care. 1t would be
ssy to act your part, and in few weeks