The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1874-02-09
A speck of War.
CALHOUN WANTS MORE
TERRITORY.
Adventures ofthe Minister
PleRipOientiary.
CRASrsvILLp, Jan. &c,

4SfS'NAtfW1'
GAINESVILLE, Jan. &c,
Editor Denoerui.
Patriotism and powder 60 hand il
hand, aud SO do glory and danger,
| ignore powder as an unworthy com
pound, 10 be used in this enlig htsusd
ind christian age. Tho smell Of it
makes me sick, aud is too apt to give
the bowel, a downward tendency. For
glory and danger whom mixed together
| have no high regard, especially th'
latter commodity, having recently,
through the force Of circumstances,
sounded It's depths and shoals to my
hearts content and l am unwilling &c
20 down 10 pcstsrity wishou. telling
tho readers Of TaR DEMochAT how ]
came to do it.
It happened in this way: l was en-
trusted with an important diplomatic
mission to tho State Of Gilmer; and
upon my arrival IN GlenyillO. l wal
informed tia! the County Court was il
session. trying an important lawsuit
involving the separate rights Of three
odd maids who had been partners in
the "blus-dysing business" Wish.
ing 10 attend the trial, nv friend Bob
-, (you know who l msan) kindly
gave mo a FREQ ticket OF admission, 90
that / might witness the performance.
On entering the Courtroom, / was
struck with its awful magnitude, and
Ito splendid surroundings, On the
Judicial roIsrum sat three Clearly
shifted aud shAyen gentlemen, looking
Is grave as midnight. The clerk was
sitting at his desk cross.lsgged, lSOk.
ing as pleasing as il he had Just RlsEsd
an Absl.bodisd man; and appeared as
accommodating asa young tiger. The
members Of the lar looked lean, lRnk
and savage; l didn't like their looks.
Presently q handsome and very lirely
looking gentleman came in, lie
bowed with official dignity, and ipaks
unto Tho Court, and the Court in re.
Spouse bowed its head and said
amen" Twas struck with the ap-
pearance Of the lively gentleman, and
ir.sryis wed him on the spot.
Stranger said l, "My name il
Jones; what may your name BET"
he looked at mo as much as to say
"what ia tho ID Is that 10 you :
and was turning away, when l said
"ssrangsr, is this beautiful odifcS tbs
capitol Of the State Of Wet Virginia
OF Is it 4 Hebrew Tabsrnasls2'
"sir," said hO, "thiI is the great
temple Of Justice"
"Will ysu DO SO kind, SIR" said l,
''aI 10 tell me where l can end tho
Secretary ofWar 7"
"ThO what" said he.
1.-THE ssc.ssc-ssarsllry Of War
said l.
ave Amt got any," nid be, ~ an
The Attorney General"
That being the case" said l, "yOt
are the fune.ionary l wish to see.
have important news 10 convey"
"COns to my Office" said the At,
turney General, "lnd we'll negotiate.
On entering bis Office, the Attorney
General, with great courtesy, invited
ne TO take q Isll on the fosr, which
vas handsomely sarp.tsd with saw
dust but preferred standing in NJ!
red cow.hids CATERS, in order to Ius,
tain The dignity Of my government.
"Hr. jones' said DO, sis a1ybod,
dsadt"
"NOs yet, SIR" said 1.
proceed" said be.
"sir," said l, George B.nlrcl
Lynch, the Secretary Of War Of th,
Republic Of Calhoun, Is fitting out
nlibusIsring expedition to saptur,
Gilmss, and add II TO bis domains
and he wants your temple Of justice a
his frontier capitol, preparatory to 1
Weston iuTlSioni Will you iurren'
duI'
Whilst I was speaking, the After.
nsy General turned pale, and hi, lower
lip fell 81 degrees below EsrS. Ant
when | got through he bowed bis hsat
and gtSanSd but presently he com,
TO and granted, and then be shouted,
Thunder and blaIOs, FIRE and light,
ming, birthstone and hickory ashes
Surrender HILL No SirrtSl Well
fgbt you blood.thirity Calhoun Arab.
I'll the end Of time before We will
surrender our Temple Of Justice
You, sir, are a spy, sent into Judsa to
spy out tho land. We'll hang you
with a "pizsn" vine. To atmsl To
.rmS!" be cried. Rally boys. rally"
The fate Of one Major Andre vas
painted on the eye Of memory; but l
laid nothing.
Atsut this time The BELLS commenced
'ingiug, women screaming, men bray.
uE aud iJickasses behaving. Pro.
eisOr Gilmsrs Bran Band was play.
ng the "DsId Mans March" with tie
'afiltion Of "lIafk from the tombs
ho dOleful sound"
Thinks /, Bismarck has gotten his
iini,.,r in 4 rather tight place, and It
time Tor hin 10 SVacuale the enemies
inequalities. 80 | took a running
imp aud alightsd on the top Of a
owned by ono Joshua, who
Iaims 10 bc a nams,slks and double
,uiin Of the old Joshua mentioned in
!. UihI. I inouisad ~ Tnshva nj