The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-03-07
0BSER RVATI0 MS.
BY MAX ADELER.
From the Saturday Evening Post.

rIou the oataruaY Evening POSI-
Recently it occurred to Mr.. Smiley, of
Darby, that it would be good thing to go
out to see if he couldn't shoot rabbit or
two. He always kept his gun loaded and
readyin the corner of the room, sohe merely
shouldered it and went out After while
he saw rabbit, and taking aim, he pulled
the trigger. The gun failed to go of.
Then he nnllea The .f1dli. I5m1tey used some
extreme language, and then, taking a pin,
he picked the nipples of the gun, primed
them with little powder and started again.
Presently he saw another rabbit, but both
caps snapped again. The rabbit did not
see Smiley, so he put on more caps, and
they snapped too. Then Smiley cleaned
out the nipples again, primed them and
fired the gun at a fence. Then the cap
snapped again. Then Smiley became furi-
GUS and in his rage he expended forty-seven
caps in an effort to make that gun go off.
When the forty-seventh shot missed also,
Smiley thought there might perhaps be
something the matter with the inside of the
gun, so he tried the barrels with the ramrod.
To his utter dismay he discovered that
both barrels were empty. Mrs. Smiley,
who is nervous about firearms, had drawn
the loads without telling Smiley for fear of
making him angry. If there had been a
welkin anywhere about, it would probably
have been made to ring with Mr.. Smiley's
excited denunciations of Mrs. Smiley.
Finally, however, he became cooler and
loading both barrels he started again after
rabbits. He saw one in few moments and
was about to fire, when he noticed that
there were no caps on his gun. He felt for
one, and to his dismay found that he had
snapped the last one off. Then he ground
his teeth and walked home. On his way
there he saw at least six hundred rabbits.
He has been out hunting every day since,
however, with his gun in first-rate order,
and has never laid eyes ON solitary rabbit
Smiley is beginning to think something is
wrong in the government of the universe.
Mr.. Higgins, of Snyder county, is i'll
trouble. He was candidate for coroner and
he thought he might promote his interests
by getting all the women upon his side, so
he went around visiting them and kissing
their babies. He was unfortunate in two
instances. Once he picked up baby that
was playing upon a doorstep, and was
about to kiss it, when the mother saw him.
She imagined he was q kidnapper, and as
she was red-haired woman with hot
temper she darted at Higgins with broom
handle and made things very sensational
for him for few moments until he could
explain himself. Subsequently he kissed
Mrs. Jones baby, which had the measles,
and then he kissed fourteen other babies,
every one of which was down with the
measles before night, having caught the
disease from Huggins. He lost fourteen
votes by that operation, and six of the
fathers have sued him for the amount of
their doctors bills. Higgins was not
elected and when he runs again he will
| conduct the campaign on q different basis.
A Boston paper of high character stated
on Thursday last that s'the population of
the world is one thousand three hundred
| millions of people," Of course this calcu-
| lation must have been made on Wednesday
so that it could go in Thursdays paper,
and therefore Mrs. Briggs's twins, which
were born Thursday morning, could not
have been counted in. We may therefore
| estimate the population of the world to be
one thousand three hundred millions and
two. If statistics are to have any value at
all they must be exact, and we make this
correction, not only for the sake of prevent,
ing the dissemination of erroneous intelli-
gence, but to avoid hurting the feelings OF
Mrs. Briggs, who regards her twins as by
/ far the most important personages of al
the millions referred to.