The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-05-08
FACTS AND FANcIEs.

If there is one time more than an
other when a woman should be entirely
alone, says the Danbury man, IL is
when full line of clothes comes down
in the mud.
Temperance gent (to intoxicated
barber) "Bad thing for shaving,
whisky" Barber: " Yes, sab. IL makes
the skin kind of tender but will take
great care, sab" ;"
A little girl aged ten years, was
playing with asharp-edged pocket-knife,
when, with sudden motion ofthespring,
: the keen blade shut. The little CIR
opened it again-so it's all right.
"A wealthy English lady is about TO
cause the construction, at her own ex-
pense, of n handsome aqueduct, for the
purpose of providing the city Of Jerusa-
lem with a good supply Of water.
A Canadian Indian lately won g.
600 mt draw-poker, and yet his brothers
sing:
"Ohl why does tho white man
Follow my pathi'
"A relic of the ill-fated steamship
Atlantic in the shape Of a passengers
ticket printed in German and English
has been taken from the stomach Of a
preserved salmon at st. John, New
Brunswick.
A useful novelty has been intro
! duced at Partisan dinner tables. On
the back of the menu is given list Of
the persons present, with short account
OF who and what they are. BY Tins means
many awkward mistakes in conversation
may be avoided.
An association has been organized
| in London under the name Of "Tho
| Peoples Cafe Company. It's object is
| to open cheap and attractive coffee
| houses for the working classes, and
thus prevent them from patronizing
| liquor houses.
-"I fear" said a country minister TO
| his flock, "when / explained TO You IN
my last charity sermon that philanthro-
| DIV was the love of our Species you
must have understood me TO say spe.
Gle. which may account for the small
ness of the collection"
The common wood-nettle Of Ameri-
ca has been transplanted 20 Europe for
the purpose of being applied to textile
purposes. Being perennial, IT possesses
an advantage over hemp and flax, and is
said to necessitate less labor and expense
in preparing the fibre.
All Sins way of thieving in San
Francisco is TO wear n broad-brimmed
hat when he steals, and change IL for
small cap when he gets around the cor
ner. Then he walks Off with blank in
nocence of face which is impossible TO
anybody but a Chinaman.
Mr.. Edwin Forests biogrnphers
that every winter orders were left with
the grocer with whom Mr.. Forrest dealt
TO refuse no person wanting credit, and
send the bills TO him for settlement. 1t
was left to the grocer TO discriminate as
to the recipients of his bounty.
Among some of the ultra fashiona-
bles IL is now the correct thing TO have
curtains Of two distinct and separate
patterns hung at their drawing-room
windows. You must be sure 10 have the
shade drawn, TO enable the neighbors
and passers-by to study the new fashion
at leisure.
The inspiring sunshine Of the sea-
son has touched the heart Of an Indian
apolis girl, who concludes love-letter
thus: 1.-THE ring is round, the dish is
square, and we'l be married the next
state fair. The bell shall ring, the
drum shall play, and well 90 dancing
all the way. Answer so n. Mary.
Others besides newly married peo-
pie might well practice on the advice
which President Mott, in his wise old
age, gave TO young couple: Don't
try TO be happy. Happiness is shy
nymph, and If you chase her you will
never catch her. But just go quietly on
and DO your duty, and she will come to
you"
When an Ohio railroad engineer
detects n rag-baby on the track, he inn
Al. Nts. gnrFinn nnI uNnFRn
the train; but let him have a chance at
a human being, and he dashes ahead at
full speed, exclaiming 10 the coal-heav-
or, while a holy enthusiasm lights up
his countenance, "There's going TO be
another angel born, Billy"
A western Jenkins left town sudden
ly heother day, after having written up
an account of a brilliant Wedding, where
one of the ladies, he said, wore "a mag
nifcent SATIN, decollette nc the bottom
and sides" When he learned what de-
,ollette meant, and that the lady's hus-
band was making inquiries for him,
.he town was too small 10 hold him.
We overheard a queer thing the
other day from the lips OF two little
zirls not over nine years old. Each OF
hem had baby in her arms, when the
elder of the two said 60 her companion,
50 Sally, can you tell a tip-top lie?'
90 You bet. Why?" says the other.
g Wbv. Won take your baby, and I'll
take mine, and wen go round begging.
You tell people we are widows"
According to Chinese history, the
small feet among the f males of that
people originated several centuries back,
when large body of WON, rose against
he government and endeavOr, TO over
throw it. To prevent the recurrence OF
,uch an event, the use Of wooden shoes
vas enforced on all female infants, NO
,mall as TO disable them, without great
pain, from making use Of their feet
A pilot on a western steamboat,
crossing the Grand Chain, rocky shall
ow near the mouth of the Ohio, on
lark night, was uneasy and anxious.
Suddenly the barking Of dog was
heard afar off "TheIe,' said the Pi-
OF. Frightening up, and quickly giving
he wheel two or three turns, "I'm all
light. I've steered by the barking OF
hat dog every night I've passed here
'or five years.
A western paper has the following
'uneral notice "A long funeral cor
epe wended its solemn way 10 the
cemetery Yesterday. The deceased was
, man who neglected to buy nice
warm suit of under Eear al the Empori-
am bazaar. BE wise in time. The
tore is crowded with lovely ladies, and
.he spruce clerks are hopping, Tound
ike a lea on n hot griddle. Call be-
ore it is too late"
As a travelling party we're riding
through Palestine, the attention OF
certain American was called 10 the re-
onted seat of Moses tomb. " Moses
Who ?" SAYS Jonathan. why tbs
great Moses who led the Children Of
Israel through the desert ior y Iorty
years - "How far is that 2" Three
,Undred miles, maybe" Upon which
he American remarked "The Chi
ago q Northwestern would have taken
EN- through, guess, in eight hours"
A new way of proposing marriage
8 reported, and we give the facts for
he benefit OF those interested. gem
.leman attended fair recently and fell