The Hawaiian gazette., 1874-10-14
Variety.

A family Of original eromationists-Burn-' ems.
A bad habit to get into-A coat that motifs paid for
The best method Of constructing dam-withOpt
am"
which are the four most eOrpuleut letters in th,
alrhabet.-o. B. c. I. (obesi,yl.
How Patrick proposes to get over his single blessed
ness-By proposing to Bidge il.
Iisa lesson for the hypoehOndriae to watch the
efforts ofa with the toOthache TO laugh.
What is that which every one can divide, but no
one can see where it has been divided Water.
NnturaIists claim sor the crow that il is one Of the
bravcst Or birds because il never shows the white
feather.
Why DO women talk less in February than IL any
other month"; Because it is the shortest month in
the year.
wOuld-be coutributor-"I wish you would tell me
something to write about" Editors "well! Right
HbOu; face"
yankee wanted the Bridge Of Sighs pointed out
TO him. aud then offered to bet America had several
bridges twice the size.
bistrouic individual, who had heard good deal
about the 'thcater Of war; suggested that the back
seats must be very desirable.
There are two reasons Why some people don't mind
their own business. one is that they haven't any
business aud the other is. they haven't any mind.
Il am indeed. very much afraid Of lightning
said pretty lady. And well you may be-, replied
dcspariug lover, when your heart is made Of steel.
''HaveH't I right to be sauey. if please p asked
young lady o. old bachelor. 'Yes. ifyOu please,
but not if you displeaso. was the answer
II is rather remarkable that while several thousand
feet are required TO make one rood, single foot,
properly applied often Is sufficient t. make one civil
How is this. Cbavlesg gave you sigb. vol
umos to change, and you've only GrOugbt fvs2'
Please m m we haven't quite finished the first
down stairs.l''
An exchange mentions that IN Pennsylvania
has been found that bores through the hardest
rock. What a success that worm would make as a
life insurance agent
some friend was demonstrating With Clarke, the
actor. about his profanity and quoted the SeHptural
injunction. 'Swsar not at ALL Il don't" said
Clarke Il only swear At those who OEend me-
said ponp0us fellow br0wbsating his auditors,
Il have Travelled round the world Replied = wi,
OF the Addison period, 80 has this cane 1 hold in
in my hand, but At is only stick for all that
Beginning At the beginuing-"And what's your
favorse study, MissyG7 .'ohronOlOgy.' 20 ehrOnO-
logy, is ng Nov what Is the date Of the creation Of
the world p % we havnt got 50 far As that, grand
pa
Aunt Bella lwho had just read aloud The Rarial
Of SIR John Moore )--'.Nou then, which Of the .
verses 90 you like bes,g~ Jack with alasri,yl- .
.sOh know-'Fsw and short were the prayers we .
said '''- P-sei.
An ambitious mamma complained to the music
master that her daughter going back in her music.
.@Wby 50 madam, p said the prufessor. Because"
she replied 'Ssraphina tells that her last piece
vas in I've sbarps and the One she is learning
only two
A physician on presenting his biz to The executor
OF the estate Ct deceased patient, asked. "DO you
wish to have ny bills sworn 70 - ''NO replied the
executor. The dea;5 Of the deceased is enough to
prove that you attended him Professionally
Oh .tbs sksessr, the beautiful sksessr. fniag the
air with beautiful meter. Under oar hat and tick
ling cur nese. taking bite through hole in
clothes in through the Window; opening the door;
filling our chamber and singing the sEesisr ever is
found the uusiring Iauskeeter.
Nis,7ess-"yaps, tell cook IN come down and sec
VIA, she uuts to be done to that the build
er's coming to-uOrrow.r Jane-'O, please 'uu,
dont think We can ssi you into the kitchen to-day,
nun, as cook and mes got small and harry a.
'Ous' this afternoon, nun
A boy SIX years old. having been much lectared BY
his father o. the babrishness Of crying when any
calamity happened. cheered the paterna heart, the
other morning. BY saying. Harry Bolton eIied
nearly al day cause his father died; but If you
should die, 1 woslds's cry bit-"
4 medical aiversiseuezs Is headed Locks like
Miracle. Young nan made 20 walk in Five 1inutss,"
But Agustus thinks that is No gseat miracle com
psred to his experience the other eveaing When he
went to sec bis girl The old man cane N and made
him walk in less thar ore minute
oYour handwritiag is very bad indeed, said gen
ileman 70 friend mere addicted to beating than 20
study; you really ought TO learn to write better
- Ave. aye. replied tie young nan. at is 'i very
well for you d tell me that but If were to write
better. people vOsla snd cut how I sPsI-"
The prOvcrb that "6os helps those who help them
selves vas vel paraphrased BY little fellow who
uubed into fountain and was nearly drowned Pale
md dripping be was pat to bed and When his mother
requested the Young mar to thank God for saving
i'm. Younr America answered. II 'spose God did
ave me. But thea held On to the guass, tao.f'
In The days when an Armenian vas looked uPon PTet
y much As 3 Frre ReligiOnist is nov, Reverend
ioesor who uas respected of leauins toward the
liberalism Of the times. vas waited upon By an cid
ady Of bis parish. who said .-Does0r they say yea
lze Armenian NoE do tell me whether ts trseR 4
why, ny good woman" said the doctor. 81 vas
,Orn il Dauvcs = There, nor,'' said she, u t9ld
en- il eouldH't be So