The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-05-30
HOME MATTERS.


rs MusZ ms BLAETTCnEN."-This is what The
editor of the V0chm6'dt always says when he
| hears good joke. Bernhard must not split al
this. In his last issue he speaks of "llcnry Wal
thcr making at his bakery wedding cake, part,
cake, and fiDii;es'' When YOU want whole
family made to order, 90 to Henry Wslthe!s..
Potato bugs are quite plenty and getting rather
tame. We found one on our hat the othcrday. II
Rad probably mistaken us for a sweet potato We
met couple of grocer clerks the other day car
rying tub Of eggs. The tub was of the largest
size. They put it down upon the Sidewalk and
asked us to sit upon IT, We told them that our
"sit' was to small and recommended them to 81
Dean, Bowman, Ira Nelson orJm Cross. There
was a cat convention among the sweet ana ten
der iimson plants In our back yard on Wedncs-
day evening last. They came to talk about OF the
respective rights of the Tabbys as regards those
of the Thomascs. There may have been an i'm
preston abroad that cats can't talk or swear.
Tan't so. They can talk and sing and "cuss and
swear i'll four languages to say nothing of their
own. The concert began with solo, by Thomas
C. Cat, who is heavy on double bass. He sang,
"Twas in the soft moonlight we met, Chorus by
all the K-a-a.r-r.a-o-w. This was followed BY 6
quartette, conducted by Thomas and William and
Tabby and Jenny Cat, Of the fifth ward. They
sang "On the banks of the Sweet Smelling Cs
nnl,' Chorus, k-c.r.n-n-n.O.w wowl This was
varied with debate. Pretty soon one cat said
"You lc-ie-e.n All the rest, "Oh !-0w-Ow"-
Put him out" Then came a sound like the
smashing OF the waters of the sea, then q con
r.. a -.
one Of the most furious riots OF this century. We
took no interest in the matter save that cool in
difference manifested by the wife who viewed the
conflict between her husband and the bear. Said
She, "Go in-I don't keer which licks,' We cX-
pcctcd next morning to see the whole back yard
strcwn with fragmetary remains Of dead cats,
Imagine our disgust when on looking there was
not the least evidence that there had been a cat
there for months. Mitchell, the restaurant
man, is in the habit OF speaking Of his dining
room in front of Walthers magnificent new
block Now Walther intends to get even by talk
ingof Walther's peanut stand, opposite Mitchell's
paatial dining hail.. When the celebrated ten.
pcrance crusader, Madame De Gcer, lecturcd in
front of the Court House the other Sunday,
chairman was wanted to preside at the meeting.
We asked j. d. Hamu, who, when dressed up in
his Sundays best, is probably the most clobo-
ratcly beautiful man in town, to act as chairman.
He declined Gu the slim excuse that he had sore
thumb Did you ever. What we call making
light Of It, is what Henry Wa!ther's new lamp on
his beautiful lamp post does. Alderman Stout
intends to have an ordinance passed tinngchick.
ems three dollars u piece for running at large.
When the chickens come 10 hear how rapidly
they have "riz' in value went there be cackl.
ing and growing The distinguished crusader,
Madame De Geer, in a recent lecture, called us
handsome We could return the compliment #
We were tall as big 4 ib as she uttered.