The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-09-19
WIT AND WISDOM.

The reason why Sylvanus Cobb, jr., 90 h
fines himself to writing for the periodicals
Is because the legitimate function Of C0hb
is TO produce cereal
A person was boasting that he was frOns
a high family. yes said a bvHtandar
" have seen some Of the family 50 high
that Their feet could not touch the ground"
I'd hate to be in your shoes" said
woman Of the east side, as she was QUAR-
reling with neighbor. 4 Yon couldn't
get IN them. sarcastically rem arkaJ the
neighbor
Yankee poet thus breaks forth Oh
the snore, the beautiful snore, filing the
chamber from ceiling to floor Over the
coverlet, under the sheet. from her wee
diuapled chln % Ter pretty fzet New
rising aloft Ike bee in June now nute-
bike subsidlng. thn rising again, IL tho
beautiful snore Of Elizabeth Jane.
A very fat man, for the purpose Of piE-
zling his doctor, asked him to prescribe f3r
A complaint, which he declared was aleep-
ing with his mouth OPEN :" Sir" said
the doctor, your disease is incurable.
Your skin IS too short, so that when your
eyes are shut your mou.h opens
Gentleman (whO has stepped upon her
dress)-"A A thousand pardons, madam"
Lady pleasantly W" It's Of no conse-
quence, sir" What she said of him
" Awkward, stupid fellow My gathers
are al torn out, and l've got 70 60 home. Z
What he said to himself -" COnfounded-
ly ridiculous fashion, these traiRs "a th4-
street Make man look like y fvui, cut
ting up such capers with Them
A young lady who entered Broadway
music store and asked the young man in
attendance, Have you Happy DreannsP"
was astonlshed when he replied, NJ.
ma am, I'm most troubled with the night-
mare" He didn't know why she went
out so hurriedly and slammed the door af-
ter her
"A young fellow IN a western town was
fined $40 for kissing girl against her will,
and the following day the damsel sent him
the amOnnt of the fine with a note saying
that the next time he kissed her he must
be less rough about it, and be careful 10 do
when her father was not about.
The attachment Of some ladies' 10 their
lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to in
fatuatIon. An ill-tempered lap-dog bit
ing piece out Of a male visitors leg his
mistress thus expressed her compassion
Poor little dear creature hope it will
not make him sick
Nobody can dispute thus, by the reliable
historian Of the Detroit Free Press Pro-
gression is the watchword Of the hour but
in Missouri, mothers haul their children
reyer the knee and strike on the same old
MnA maEa6 6hn Malnans did B. 600 wears ago
e1 truth bat eloquence.
of wv " public liberty, war IA
Perhaps heM 70 be dreaded, because
it comprises and deTelops the genius Of
every other War is the parent OF arr lies
from these proceed debts and taxes, and
armies and debt and taxes are tine known
instruments for bringing the many under
the dominion OK the few Madison.
4 ssy SaurAsa, la yuu sfsv n firs catf-
underfrun s'posin | .io you bosgls Oh
whIskey corked shut with cork how
would you get the whiskey out without
pullin' de cork III breakin' az bottle I "I
gibs dat up Why push De cork in.
Yah, yah Z"
I" Well sir, said one person to another 10
whom he had, IN matter of business,
made very absurd offer, do you enter
tain my proposition g. " No, sir, replied
the other, but your proposition enter
taIns me.
"A man having bought alive dollar hand
kerchief for his better half, an acqualnt-
ance remarked that she must be duck %
a wife to which a bystauder added, {" Or
he's goose Of husband.