The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-11-13

Bad debts--owipg grudges-

Bad debts--owiDg gruuges'
F,uitful axe-idehts--A cbopPlngp7
A fact is worth athousand sta
ments.
A high note--one Of thocsaa
dollars
Moonlight mechanics Is the iatea
Tor burglars.
To MIR, Pewer. Of Virginia,
things are power.
The latest Irish fashion ia hon
rule bat. 1t has no crown. w
A man who '.salts down bis cas
General Penny-packer, 4fsS
A fall pippin, coal stove and
newspaper are not bad things tosit ng
with.
They have a tailor down thero.wa
modeslly styles himself ''the Poole e.
ST. John l.,tt
What is the use oftalking Of thi
worlds brightness and sunshine y
man that has tight boots?
A Washington newspaperclaim 3
have made an impression on ags
company. Don't believe u, .Ma
The most bitter critics we have
those who have failed themselves 3
write anything worth reading,
lie who has got nothing 10 do "
this world but 10 amnse himself, hsa
got the hardest job I know Of
The keeper OF restaurant in Nev
York announces 'paroxysmal- stew
ms speciality on his bill Of fare.
The English folks have got tired
lending Joaquin Miller money, and
has got 10 come home and SO g
work,
"AIy dear air, y said a candidatec
tho day of election, II am very gla
lto see you" You needp't be- ro'
Piled the wag, u have voted"
In the case OF q Kansas man bcin
strnck hy lightning the coroner's lar
rendered. the verdict: "Iewas klllc
by the Lord, but the Lord isall right
II You wake up in the night va
Italian hotel and shoot burglar, ~
chances are You cant see the lane
lore the next morning and his w'ie y
a widow
Miss Heilbrnn, the prima.donna
said 10 blush like asschool-girl.y Y z
| alish school-girl is probably meas
| Blushing is one Of the lost arts ID "a
Q untry.
| A lady in q menagerie being aske
why she so closely scanned the el'
phant with her opera glass, replR
that she was "looking for the keyhoi
Of bis trunk"
When two Gecrgians meet no
they don't 90 on about the weatle
:. hut merely exchange the noyelsaluli
lion: do yon think that Tooml
will ever dieg"
rs Tint your offspring, madam'
asked d Missouri Judge o.. a wolna
Who had hold Of a stub-nosed boy
hand, mo, sir she replied, "this
my oldest boy"
The matrimonial market has picke
, M 40 last since September that or
| New Hampshire clergyman has lal
/. IN three barrels of beans, q barrel
cider and three dried cali'skins.
+ When the yellow corn siehs 70
I husked and the golden pumpkin
{ yenrns 10 be gathered, il is no tin
0 ior q paper to stop and argue wheth'
I, Edna Dean Proctor Is nineteen
ninety.
! An attempt was to have been mac
= last week to get up another woman
: crusade in Cleveland, but three
four of the leaders were disappolul'
. ahout their Fall bonnets, and the alta
didn't come Oft.
7 A rich hut parsimonious old gent
: man on haipg taken TO task for !
s uncharilableness said: "Trnc, dor
I yiye much, but if you knew how
2 hurts when ! give anything, y
! wouldn't wonder. Z,
7 An inomring man thrust his fnge
I into horses mouth TO SEQ how mar
!, ! teeth he had. The borse clos!
his mouth 10 sec how many ilnge
4 he man had. The curiosity OF ea'
i was fully satisfied
: Don't prcyaricaie, sir" thunder'
ri Judae Shell, 10 n witness, "CaI
It help il, Judae," answered the yout
d Ever since got a kick from a mu
o that knocked my teeth out, l preva
. cate a good deal."e
J J. Marry for love, young men. but !
/ member that's It's az easy to love- 3
: = whose "a has hundred thousand,
7 The bank "a one whose old man 9
!, : M behind q pair Of mples and ye
: rWboaI you Pete, or III take 70
9 9 ear of"
An American youth whiletrayelii
IN California. was amhitiously displ9
N ing n small pistol before brawny Q
b, ner whose. belt was weighed do'
e win two heavy six shooters, when
III miner asked wia, he had there. "Wl
lr that Is a pistol" replied the YOU
7; "Well. /" said the rough, IF yop snon ,,
~ shoot me with that, and ! should ~
Y il OUT, Id lick yoa like fun"
" Az lava ndiinr who attended