davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

In Lord HOughton's neWlF-pnb-
lished volume of monographs" there
appears a new and Characteristic anA
ecdote of Sydney Smith, and a little
clerical fun in I Yorkshire. 1He will
ingly assisted his neighbors in the
clerical duties, and an aneedote OF one
of those occasions is still current in
the district He dined with the in
cumbent on the preceding Saturday,
and the evening passed in great hilar-
ify, the squire, by name Kershaw, be-
ing conspicuous for his loud enjoy
meat of the strangers jokes.
81 ann very glad that have amused
you," said Sydney Smith. at parting,
"but you must not laugh at my ser
mon tomorrow.
81 should hope 1 know the differ
ence between being here and at the
church, remarked the gentleman with
some sharpness,
al am not sure of that" replied the
visitor.
am bet you a guinea on it," said
the squire.
sTake you," replied the other.
The preacher ascended the steps of
the pulpit, apparently suffering from
severe cold, with his handkerchief
10 his face, and at once sneezed out
the name "KershaW" several times ia
various intonations.
This ingenious assumption of the
readiness with which man would
recognize his own name in sounds i'm
perceptible to the ears of others
proved accurate. The poor gentleman
burst into guffaW, to the scandal of
the congregation and the minister,
after looking at him with stern re-
proach, proceeded with his discourse,
and won the bet.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

THE original matinee-when "the
morning stars sang together"
WHAr il that from which, if you
take the whole some will remain Z
Wholesome.
seTHIs is the rock of ages" said the
father. rocking two hours and the ba-
by still awake.
You can't tell pretty much about
the character of man nowadays, un-
til he loses il.
THE editor of the Toledo Democr0t
don't wear his name on paper, and no
Wonder.-Ifs Alfred b. Jazes.
I WOULDN'T have left, but the people
kinder egged me on" said . man
who was asked why he left his Kansas
home in a hurry.
A BosToE woman who objects to
nude statuafy, has ordered figure of
Venus cut ont of dressed marble.
THE Peoria woman who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands grave
a few months ago has just married
lightning-rOd man.
THE comet has departed, and now
we miss the biYonac of kittenish low
ers on the housetops, and the blHshing,
titteriug, aud giggling incident. to
crawling through the scuttle-way.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases, For in
nce,when aVirginian rose.in church
and said, tsHere's a huHdred- dollar
bill for the old hOss behind the pulpit 7
no one thought of putting him out.
A SLEEPY deacon, who sometimes
engaged in popular games, hearing the
minister use the words, "Shufle of
your mortal coil" started up, rubbed
his eyes, and exclaimed, "Hold on it
is my dealI"
A MASSACHUSETTS man has been in
a successful business forty-nine years,
and never advertised. The business
consisted chiefly In lying about his
neighbors-
A NEW game called agranger seven
mp is announced. Three persons
play for can of oysters. The first
man out gets the oysters, the last man
ont gets the oyster can, and the "mid-
die man" don't get anything.
JUsr as the minister was immersing
q colored convert near Bangor lately,
the choir broke out
a'The morning light is breaking,
The darkness disappears.''
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
AUNr PATrY,s coURrsHIP.


One long summer afternoon there
came to Mr.. Davidson's the most curl
GUS specimen of an old bachelor the
world ever heard of. lie was old,
gray, wrinkled, and odd. He and
AnntPatty had it hot whenever chance
threw them together; yet still he came,
and it was noticed that Aunt Patty
took unusual pains with her dress
whenever he was expected.
One day the contest waged unusual
ly strong and Aunt Patty left in dis
gust and went out into the garden.
ssThat bear |" she muttered to her.
self as she stopped to gather flower
which attracted her attention.
"What did you run for ?" said gruf
voice behind her.
sTo get rid of YOU"
lyon didn't do it, did you9"
"No; you are worse than burdock
burr"
"You won't get rid of me, either"
t.I won't eh?"
'sIn one way"
"And that 2"
"Marry me-"
"WhatI us two fools get married
What would people say 20
"That's nothing to us. Come say
yes or no; I'm in hurry"
"Well no, them"
every well good bye, shan't come
again"
'.stop bit-what pucker you're
in.n
"Yes or no!p
81 must consult"
"All right; I thought you were of
age. Good bye"
''Jabez Andrews, don't be TOOL.
Come back say. Why believe the
Andrews, I'll consider"
al don't want any considering m
going. Becky Hastings is waiting for
me, thought I'd give you she first
chance, Patty. All right; good bye"
"Jabez! Jabez That stuck up Beck
Hastings shan't have him Jab ez, yes
Do you hear-Y /"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

CINcINNArr Enquirer ssNext to see-
ing fat woman sitting on the stoop
of her vine-clad cottage, sewing a
patch on her husbands breeches and
telling her neighbor across the street
what She would do If she were Henry
Ward Beecher, there is no sight so ex-
hilarating in these times of financial
distress as party of ofyoung men gath
cred on the green sward in front OF a
boarding house in the cool of the eve
ming, batting with dexterous maliet
the bounding spheres through ferru-
ginous hoops as prescribed by the inn
mortal author of the noble game of
crodDet.1
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

SALT PoRk.-For the benefit of
those who are obliged to use salt pork
the following plan improves it wop-
derfully; "Cut as many slices as will
be required for breakfast the evening
sweet milk and water. Then rinse
till the water is clear, and fry. 1t is
very nearly as good as fresh pork
For change, rolling it in corn meal
is good imitation OF fresh fish.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

THE prohibitory ordinance is pretty
strongly enforced in Bloomington, Ill.
An Esculapian professor there conse-
duently advertises that he has for sale
tsThe Great Purifier. 1t is good for
coughs, colds, consumption, cutaneous
complaints, collie, Sc. SC. It drives
in the heat, drives out the cold, and
neutralizes the system. The best REM
edy of the age. Directions: Four
times daily 2 or before meal and l OF.
before retiring" The editor of the To-
cal newspaper testifies as follows: s'If
it isn't first-rate article of Bourbon,
it smells like it"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

SCANDAL.-The following, which
we copy from an exchange is applica-
bic in almost any community:
The great curse that hangs over
every small community is scandal, and
a disposition among some few to pick
up merest trifes of gossip, and magnify
them into hideous deformities Some
people have the peculiar faculty of
making themselves intolerable by ex-
cessive indulgence in this business,
and sometimes SO well succeed i'll in.
turing the reputation of others. that
even they themselves must recoil with
horror at the reflection. Be sure that
YOU are not one of them. Shakespeare
says:
Whose edge is tlarper than the sword /;
Whose sting o kvenoms all the worms
Whose breath rides on the passing
wind
And doth belle all corners of the world
Kings, queens and States, maids, ma
irons,
Nav the secrets of the grave
This viperous slanderer enters.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
TVHo yAs ff9

rae 4 late meeting OF the Common Council a
41nsing. Michigan. the following petlElon
Illustrated with cuts and framed was Iounu oi
be Clerks tablet
Who vas it broke mine gate away
Und in mine garden eat all day.
Und on mine hower-beds roll and play7
Der Cows.
Whovas il goes mine house around
Und mit his schnout tore up the ground,
Und never yet has seen dat Bounds
Der Hogs
who vas il. ven der mont goes by
Draws ont der greenbaeks on der sehly,
Und at der gattles yinks Won eyer
Dat Bound -geeper-
who den allows desc dings to be,
To drouble honest men like me.
Und IeaEe mine yard mitout trees
Desc Council
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

HERE is case of lingering self-de-
lusion on the part of young lady as
to the size of her foot, which we quote
as being of possible use to the sex
eonaralI "a yoJlng lad at piping a
Brattieboro, VT, for a few days, sent
a friend of hers to the store to get a
pair of shoes. She told her friend to
get number fives, but her friend being
anxious to secure good fit for her,
ordered the storekeeper to change the
mark on pair of sevens. He did so
aud the lady said they fitted better
than any she had had in a long time.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

A LITTLE six-year-old daughter of a
Rutland (Vt.) clergyman watched
Barnum's street parade with great in
terest, and finally said to her papa IF
/ wasn't minister's little girl could
go to the circus but suppose I must
set an example to the whole church
now
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
DEATH OF a 13s YEAR OLD coLORED
MAN.

Samuel Jones (colored) died near
Turleytown, in this (Rockingham)
county, recently, at the advanced age
of 133 years. The fact of his age is
well established, and he was probably
the oldest human being living. He
was not genuine African, and it is
supposed he had mixture of Indian
blood in his veins. He remembered
many historical events happening long
prior to 1900, and was said to have
been man OF considerable intelli-
gence.-Old Commonwealth, Vd.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

DEATHS take place, the world over,
at the rate of one every three seconds,
and births at the rate of one every two
seconds. There is sense of profound
relief in the thought that every time a
man goes ont of the world, baby and
a half are coming into it."
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

A New HAMPSHIRE farmer wanted
a farm hand, and was applied to by an
Irishman, who wanted to work. The
farmer objected to engaging Pat, on
the ground that two lrishmen previ-
ously in his employ had died on his
hands, 'Then you object to hiring
me for that, do ye2 ?" said Pat. ''Faith
and I can bring recommendations
from many place where I've worked
that I've never played such a trick"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

ATEw days ago lady of Bloom
field, Iowa, went to the Post-otfice
and asked for some stamps. The clerk
handed her some green ones. She
asked him if he didn't have any pink ;
her stationary was pink and she want
ed stamps to match.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

NoTICE.-LucretiaH H. Bradlee, whose place
IN of residence is unknown. is notified that
James IL. Bradlee did, on the 10th day of July,
A. d. 1874, file in the Office of the Clerk of the
Court of Common Pleas within and for the
county of Portage and State of Ohio his petit
tIon, charging the said Lueretia IT. Bfadlee
with adultery with one William Shannon and
Others and asking that he may be divorced
from the said Lucretia II. Bradlee; which pc
tition will stand for hearing at the October
term, A. ID. 1874, OF said Court.
JAMES FL. BRADLEE,
SO7 ct By RANNEY & HATFIELD his Att'ys.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
ROAD NOTICE.

NYOTICE is hereby given that petition will
N be presented TO the Honorable Board of
County Commissioners of Portage county. Ohio,
at their regular session on the Tth day of Sep
tember, 1874 praying for the viewing and locat-
ing OF u county road as follows, to wit: Com
mencing at the western terminus of q road rum
ming east and west by lands owned bv Isaac
Mott, Samuel G. Nell and others, in the north
east part of Deerfield township, Portage coun-
ty. Ohio, thence west to the north and south
center road leating 2 from the center of Deeraeld
to Palmyra, thence west to a road known as the
NeWnort road in said township, thence west to
the diagonal road running from the center of
Deerfeid to Edinburgh, at point near the res
idence OF Rice Clark.
JOHN S. WILSON
and others, Petitioners.
DeerGeld. July 13 1874 307 st
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
ATTACHMENT,

YVNo WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Notice
4 is hereby given that the new road west of
Mantua Station, known as the Township Line
Road, having been completed and occupied by
the proper authorities that part of the old road
vacated by the same can be closed by land own
ers SMITH SANFORD,
ISAAC BROWN,
LUTHER II, PARMELEE
Co. Commissioners
Commissioners Office, August 8. 1874. Si0-sw
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
More Kindness than they did to me.

THE true course 10 be pursued in
certain emergencies is thus suggested
by the poet of the New York Graphic
When sanity preachers stoop to folly.
And find, too late. their sins betray,
What charm can soothe their melancholy?
What art can wash their guilt away?
The only art their guilt to cover,
To save their being talked about.
Is-not to hope twill all blow over
But simply to ''step down and out.''
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20
waAr REco.fEs or Ep1roRs.

I'VE don't know who wrote the following
poem. but it is queer thing, which induces US
to give it q place in our columns.
What becomes of the editors?
That's what we'd like to know;
They do heap of good on earth,
And to heaven ought to go.
But something seems to tell us
They are peculiar set,
And in the great hereafter
VIII be a. left out in the wet''
We've been thinking the question over,
And it troubles US heap;
1t comes to us in the daytime,
And with dreams disturbs our sleep.
And the more we con the question
The deeper it seems to get.
And brings to this conclusion:
They'll be left out in the Wet
Now. reason to yourself Il moment;
Would it do to let them in2
Wouldn't they go to interviewing
And discussing everything?
Wouldn't they have two parties.
And hobby. too. to pet?
That thing would never do upthere,
They'll be '.1eft out in the wet,''
WHEN MY MONEY WAS GONE.
The following old song won merit. and will
bear reproducing, 1t was sung so long ago,
THAT the memory of man runneth not to the
contrary:''
When my money was gone that I'd gained in
the wars.
And the world gan to frown on my fate;
What mattered my zeal or my honored scars
When indifference stood in each gate,
That face that would smile when my purse was
well lined,
Showed different aspect to me;
And when could naught butingratitude find,
hied once again to the sea,
tho't it UNIV ise to repine at my lot
Or bear with cold looks from the shore,
So picked up the few scattering remnants Pd
got.
And trifing, alas. was my store.
A handkerchief held all the treasure had,
Which over my shoulder threw;
Away then Itrudged with a heart rather sad,
To join with some joVial ships crew.
The sea was less troubled by far than my mind,
For when the wide waste surveyed,
1 could not help thinking the world was unkind.
And fortune slipping jade.
And vowed if once more could take her in
tow.
I'd let the ungrateful ones see
That the turbulent winds and the billows could
show,
More kindness than they did to me.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-08-20

THE original matinee-when "the
morning stars sang together"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
Pianos and Organs.

Quite frequently, parties desire 20 buy
musical instruments. when they are
deferred from SO doing by the fact that
it's not convenient TO raise ut once
from 5000 to $1,000 cash. To overcome
this difficulty and place first class NIL
steal instruments within the reach Of al,
Mr.. Powell Crosley, i2t Frances street.
St. Joseph, Mo, has adopted the plan of
selling on easy mont3iy poymcntS. And
when we take into account the fact that
he deals in such instruments rs +. p.
Necdham d Sons ''Silver Tongue" or
CANS, and Emerson's piano, people may
rest assured that he means business.
None can do better than to correspond
with Mr.. Crosley before purchasing.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
Conference.

The St. Joseph District Conference O
the NJ. L. Church will in the
Sixth Street NJ. L. Church of Savannah,
II Wednesday, June u, at Q o'clock
A. NJ. On Tuesday evening, the sd,
Il ermon will be preached by Rev. BIT.
Stanber, of Graham. On wednesday,
evening, the 9th, the Rev. Isaac Chiv-
inoton will preach, after which the sac
rament Of the Lords Supper will be adj
ministered. Thursday evening, the
childrcn's mass meeting. Addresses by
Revs. Huffman, Williams and Holmes.
The citizens ofSavannah are cordially
invited to attend all the exercises Of the
Conference.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
THE LADIES FRIEND!
Davis
L~OCH>TiciT, VERTICAL FHED
SEWING MACHINE,

H!u,l, 81 work than any other machine in list: .
= combination "i simplicity, durability ait
economy, manufactured of the VERY Hi~T IN
PORTED sTEEL, and composed OI only TWELVE
working t:.rI-, while other machines nave lrDIn
f..frfy Ia forty
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
Savannah G. st. Joe Hack.

EEOI anil after tli, ,la.,I vii be prepared to
L acc nauni@'c larfica desiring :" o., 10 Il.
Joe 10y haze. r'Eyc. Jucc have lately rriiifrl
my RI Throughout and invite the custom of all
vii" wi" i pleasant ride IN pheasant weather 1T
moderate rate. civ" mo = cuii. viii also rN-
r"utr small ORDER infru-f,,l H. NV care with
PIuInHli'--a rddlsmtch. i. CllIJSriAN~DE.
Ady -, Isl. 90
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
TIE VERTICAL EEED RNR

i]nT0ivrs Il new feature in Sewing Machines.
prime pie ever Vatcnfr'.: it. Operation i, posi-
i've, enabling il 10 T1l.i over seams and turn cor
nrrs without changing the tension, length Oi
stitch, 81 stopping the motion Of Ia" machine,
and 10 sew any number "f iEicknc--os al any
lcn".h, with uf i'a>iin"; entirely preventing The
Iaii-I. and pickering e! one piece, while tire
other remains Straight: and at The same time, IN
4 p%.actica! manner, VIII dO what no other ma
chine can, io-Wit:
AXE all THE STRETCH FROM THE GuODs.
GENERATING with equal facility on the heaviest rs
well a. the lightcst fabrics, leaving Il seam alike
oI both SIDE, beautifully smooth, strong and
cllsttc. II /, especially adapted To the diversified
wants uI family sewing, IL il does any Kind of
N1r. which can Jc done with a sewing machine,
with less changing o. adjusting than any other
machin" IN the market, and is 50 simple in con-
s~frGt;ion HAT Il cali be used 10y any one with slac-
r!iy. II l. one OF the largest machines mInuilc-
turcd thnt is adaptcdt1FANII.r Use, TAILOR
ING or LEATHER WORK.
In presenting the Improved Davis we
claim, in addition to it, superior principles,
more absolute perfection Of Workmanship and
more complete rljustibility tian pertains 10 any
cOnlJcting machine.
EVERY MACHINE WARRANTED.
IRA CARL, Travelling Agent.
a. NJ. Cross, Grnl .hg't, -. Joseph, Mo.
r|Cail at j. Il. i,ussellis, and eNaiullc The ma
ca.!c, and leave your orders. :G5
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
-7nhew Go. Reputlfan.
Railroad Timetable

sa's1s City, ST. Joseph and Council Bluffs Railroad,
North. Mail Mail IL
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
New Goods-and Cheap!

A. Glaciers. west end the Square,
has been received & new lot of latest
styles hats, prints. wooden goods, dc.
4 handsome lot of summer shawlS just
opened. Ladies hose (iron frame)
l2Ic per pair. Other goods in proper
t;G,.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
C. BRETITIES.

LAKE Your WOOL 20 HnN>citS.
ST. advertisement Of y. Lie ms. Co.
BuEKNAN sells / pounds OF coffee
fora dollar.
Buy vour fruit ans ard jelly glasses
of II. II. Dobbins.
IaEE your wool to Russell and get 3
good price in cash or cheap goods.
Nzw and complete stock o: BucI's
wcolens asst received at kussclrs. Prices
low.
WOOL wanted by J. +. Russell, who
WI nay the hiGAes: cash price IN cash
u goods low down.
TIE american Sar,l;nc Co.'S bone
les, sarlincs are much better, and less
jl;n Lalf the COS. Of imported sardincs.
ErssELL has jus. received 4 new sup
l,y OF dry goods and groceries.
G~EoCETaEs, dr. goods, parasols, dress
Goods. &c, are selling at Russclrs
brown front south side store at bottom
prices.
For some unexplained reason, our
Ing Springs mail was DELAYED 4 couple
81. Gai, las wccE-oUr correspondence
IL, arriving till the paper was printed.
ArAENIEE complains thai near 4 rood
iocE-Jot,um ford. on tie road 70 Fill
n.ogc. 4 bridge mas been built. As the
.
'o'' !. "'""' ",''' az" "s',''t' 90" "a
TIC ''-'Se i "e'e's'"ie. s''' 'F.uSe i
.''''- - "st-"- Is '-9 hun wheel 70 "
vail 'A.L"' ''' aHe,' $'o'> e'er
"i'u-.'- 10 MS ''.t' W." be 'o'li'' ~ 3D.
IT, "'.~a'S no'"t sue "-c square;
i"'' SUPP! i. P'ii'>' '',' @E,','
g. ''+S'"4''j Oh manu- III "a WITH
-. '''' "Ao'-c' u'"- "'e chc"pe'''
Hh''~,l we nave frequently Ae;.ra con-
".H~ t.at 10 "a'tr i"f tc;,saS could ne
~ - - ~ "-',
''''' ..'-.S Vi M"'I' - ''c wei! 10
49, ~ '-' '"'
49,, .. r,.a ~ :" VI ~
.
'' W. " va
TITLES liAihi amt got any money
10 Joan, nor amt r;"i, enough to sci.
Oh cFeo:'; 'oi they can Do Inc
'l-''' '.--,,2' ~ '1-El'' namely 'h1E
can ana 60 sell. goo4, very low and sly
..i'H r''n '.n',i :" seai Gno", io"cFio
'''' 80,
N'..th Is @iVen 70 inc lHDAc %ehcF-
"< 'i"' '"i'i d. MICE h"F,'e''' OF 'le
S.Ha-'' mas received " large ana COM
".eie supply CT sprinS g~oods--latest
sfy,r--coD,istiD~ Of rradv-male cloth
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
New goods II liuSscils.


P,0~,ariiiretratoih oo. ,I~op,r-e>Sn
Nh%:rp1o, NoN.hE;.C.o! MiERI.G@!
Imaci,Gaeat5 = Marriages; he cause
and Gre. Sent a%cc"r"i; &"0i''3, post
pad 10Y 70 ccIss. aTDE. -. N.r:-~;.E,
81 S.. C@@-,,; H.reu,, =. Lrg No,
the great .pc9;a:i l.. E.t! IS worl-s.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19

T. KNICKEEEAClEE, in Fillmore, is
authorized 10 receive subscribers for
the ANDREW COUNTY REruELIChN, and
70 receipt for money paid on subscrip-
iicp
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
Rooms for Rent.

W. b. Howard has fine rooms to rent,
particularly adapted for business purpo-
ses. Apply ut the Savannah Meat
Market, south side the Square.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-06-19
Iced Butter.

When You want nice. sweet, hard,
vcllpw butter. cal nj v. y. Prices.
where YOU can ret ii every day, right
out OF the ice-cheSt.