The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-02-28
SOME CURIOUS EPiTAPHS.

with lofty lndlllerenCe.-N. l. SIM.
SOME CURIOUS EPlTAPUS
IN Original Collection of Odd Paragraphs
10 H- Ediioys Of the v. T. Eycning Post:
! have been copying for number Of years
quaint cpltaphs from tUmbstOneS, some of " hich
send YOU The most of them were obtained in
England, and none Of them ever appeared in
print i. q.
on 4 DRUMMER.
Tom Clark was / drummer who went TO the war,
And was killed by bullet and his soul sent for
There were no friends 10 mourn him, for his vir-
tues were rare,
He died like a man, and like Il christian bear.
RARE SPECIMEN.
My wiley has left me, she's gone up on high,
She was thoughtful while dying, and said, Tom,
don't cry
She was a great beauty, so every one knows,
With liebc like features and fine Roman nose;
She played the piany, and was learning ballad i
When she sickencd and die did from eating yea
salad.
RIGHTLY NAMED.
Down in this chasm lies poor sinful crttcr,
Her name was Poll Twist, and that name it Just
tit her;
For in twisting her neck 10 swallow some teddy,
She twisted her breath right out of her body,
Her blOaed remains we hid under this sod,
But her rum-sOttcd soul none could hide from its
God.
AHARpIST.
Mary SomcrS was with us but twenty short years {,
She departed this life mid torrent of tears:
She was fine musician, and played well ON the
harp
50 thought the angels who floatcd by in the dark ;
They wanted Il harpist to join their good band,
SO seized her, and flew to the Tar better land.
An ONLY CHILD.
Our departed little Sally
Lost her strength and could not rally;
She pined away, both night and day,
Then Knocked the mortal coil away.
SENSITIVE TO THE LAST.
Araminta Taylor chow We do regret herr
Departed this life for a state much better;
She was gentle and lovely and not over bold,
But her aye is thing that remains untold;
She grew younger and younger as years passed
away,
Then cypher became, while nought went to
decay.
The poor foolish creature, hating to grow old,
Has gone now, praise God! where years are untold
Aud there may she reve, a venerable sage,
With no one to bother her by asking her age.
. DEATH OF CHILD.
1t was spotted measles that killed our Daisy
When | think of her death it makes me go crazy;
don't see why We should have SO much trouble,
While Others go scot free and OF money have
double
FRUITFUL SUBJECT.
As Death was sauntering idly by,
He spied the apple of my eye;
With cruel aim, and no delay,
In her hearts core he put decay;
And like the fruit upon the tree,
She dropped down dead in spite of me.
To celebrate her fall this day,
l raised a stone to Mary Grey.
AFArAL BLOW.
This ia the place where rests Timothy Morse,
Who slid out of life through kick from horse,
No Uur-cgged beast caused this dreadful disaster
But a twolegged cuSs kicked the life from his
master
THE UNRULY MEMBER.
In this sacred spot my wife does lie,
She quit this world and went on high;
Her tongue wagged SO fast for thirty long years,
That she died from exhaustion, while dropped a
tear.
on A PATRIOT.
Here lies soldier. under this stone.
Stop, passer-by, and hcave groan;
iroan, did | say? No, hurrah! for he is happy |
wccn,
singing Hail Columbia, Yankee Doodle and God
save the Queen,
In the land of glory, where he has become by
this time chcrubin. Amen.
COUNTRY SCHOOL TEACHER.
IN this grave lies May Edwards, pretty school !
marin,
Who coaxcd and aattercd all the beaux, but never
She was graceful, evanesccnt but she faded like
the dew,
And her aye Ccxcuse me for telling IT, was just
forty.twO.
ON 4 DRUNKARD.
Ohm Gray is dead his corpse lies below,
BUT where his soul is, of course we don't know. |
There were two paths to take-which he chose |
is the rub,
)ne led to glory, the other to Beelzebub.
dis disease was strong drink; rs this settled the
matter,
I settled poor John, too, we guess with the latter
KILLED 1T HORSE.
Absalom Charles Timothy Jones
)nce was alive but nov here are his bones;
lie was thrown from his horse against an old post,
md was so badly smashed that he gave up the
ghost.
\ sLANDERER.
Ierc lies an old dame, with dangerous tongue,
he ssndered all her neighborS ard really
thought it fun;
he got so angry one day, wen IN d slahderous III,
hat blood-yessel burst and the bitter got bit.
his epitaph was written by her victims in the
town,
md this heavy granite stone was laid to keep
her body down.
FOOD FOR WORMS.
And row, dear friends, you'll see him not,
For he lies IN this grave TO rot.
"A PRECoCGoUs CHILD.
Alas! why should cry to-day
For one who could no longer stay:
Ny darling little Hannah,
This child could read, and write, and spell,
Could say her Tables" very well,
And play her mas Piana,
God bless my little Hannah!
Who plays now Heavens Piana.
NM NrN-U