The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-03-26
COSFEDRIT Y ROADS.
{ Wieh IS in the State Nv KY
March IA. 1874

JUe Biglrr, tle iniam0s, and Pollock
Nlcii II wurss, hev been At it agln.
There Is al amount uv.deyIlment in
the buzZums Nv them men Wieh biles
over perpetOOaily, and wieh kin no
more be stopped than kin fsrmsnta-
snen In cider. The Corners will hev
10 rise in its mite, and xiii them two
It1Plous Sretches in self-deienee.
The fact that Mrs. BAscom, @. VS.
vile, htZ bin gittin large assortment
OF new eiOZs in Louisville, and that
she's the Only woman in the Corners
who heZ 3 second dress-and it wood
be almost safe tosay the fust One-hez
bin taken advantage Nv by these
feends TO perdOOse an lnsuFrskshen ia
our otherwise quiet households.
Issaker GaviIt's wife, Lucindy, and
Deekin. Pogram's wife, and his dzWter,
Miraudy, happened to be in Pollock 5
store buyin some pork to bile, when,
tz i'll luck wood heV 1t, Mrs. BascOm
passed down the street. She he'd on q
fur sack and moo bonnet, and he'd
gloves on, and u muff, aud a gold
chain, anu she held her head well 10,
and he'd ostridge feather. She Wuz
gorgeous site iOr the Corners.
''sSee Mrs. BascOm, Mirandy," sed
Joe Bigler, ealfih the Attenshun NV
the wimen Ia her, tZ she went sailIu
dawn the street.
They all looked at her, aud rage fill
ed their ehaste bGzZums.
'I never he'd = buzzum p:n," sed
Mirandy, Indignantly.
why, l ain't got no shOes-tO say
nOthin uv fur OvershOes," shreeked
Lucindy Gavitt.
"Why don't Issaker git yOO shOes?''
asked mat villanOus disturbeI Pollock.
ale never htz no money" answer
ed Lucindy.
paid hI1 for his corn, two weeks ago?''
WuZ the innocent question Nv Pollock.
1t wuZ = spark NV ire in maga-
zine.
"H,z he sold his corn ?D she asked,
her voice quiverin with emoshen.
He did sell il 10 me two Weeks
ago." sed Pollock.
"fhe Oruery euss ! Why he prom
ised me " pare NV shoes aud the baby
some elOze when he sold that corn. I"
"But my deer Mrs. Gavitt," sed
this hypercritikie sneak, you know
Jest then Mrs. BAseOm was return
in
"But you know" he continy God,
she he'd To pay BaseOm, beeOz-Oy
the way there goes Ms. BAseOm agin,
and amt she y stunner-bScoZ q. W.
he'd To go To Louisville to git his Wife's
winter outfit, and he he'd to hev wat
Issaker owed him."
"And the munney for the corn,
wieh planted, aud hOed, and cut, and
shucked, he'd to go to put clOZs on
Liz Bascom, did it? Liz BascOm heZ
clOZe, heZ she ?'
And this enraged woman hOwled
with emoshuD, as did Mirandy PO-
gram and her mother.
And Pollock kept addin fOOel To the
fame he he'd kindIed.
"Here," he std to Lucindy, sis a
lovely piece Nv velvet wieh wood
make you an elegant sack, and Lord
bless 700, how this French flannel
wood make up into u dress and cloak
for yOor baby. II does seem to me as
though Issaker aud the Deekin mite
let yOO wimmin hev enuff munney To
git yoO some Things. 1t seems n pits
that Mrs. Baseom sbOOd hev every
thing w
Efthere is anything whieh'll make
a lion out Nv q woman, it's the desire
for dry goods. Pollock knOwd this,
and he played it onto em. He shOwd
EN- dry goods till they became raviBg
maniacs.
These three misguided wimmen
left that store erOOsAders-they wUz
so many JOne of Arks. ThrOO the
mud they went to Mrs. MePelter's,
to Mrs. Elder Pennibaeker's and ~
the wife of every rtgler resident Nv
the Corners, anu they determined tO
make a move onto BascOm, and stOp
his biznis any way, so that the mum
ney spent at mis- bar could be yOOsed
In giItin elOZe for them and their
children. They appinted TOOsday
last eZ the day on wich they wuz tO
make the raid. They arranged per-
eessiOn with banners onto wieh they
wuz to write: LESS rum-mOre
eloze," and they wuz % visit BaseJm
and set down in his grocery and COM
pei their husbands hot To drink no
more, and BascOm not To sell EN- any
thing any more.
There Wuz wild forebodins of Woe
in Bascoms'. G. W., hIsseIf, and Issak-
er Gavitt, and Deekeu POgram aud
myself ali sOt with pale faces, dread
ing this invasion. / am q mau NV
resource. / advised that a barl be
rolled out into his barn and bar be
eXtempOrZed there, where We Good
get our nips, till this cyclone should
pass over. This G.. w. consented to
DO, and thus fortified we sot down
and awaited the attack.
Wat military eOnkerer wuZ it that
Wuz saved from annIhilashen by the
weather geLtiu 50 warm and the
yieldin ground so soft that the enemy
coOdeut move their artillery? IL
wnZ u similar InteTpOsishen that
saved US. TOOsday mOrhin broke ez
warm and eZ pleasant eZ y Msy-day.
The sun come cut sInilIn, and iE wuz
warm enuff to go barefoot, and the
Corners wuZ happy. The pereesheu
wuZ to march at eleven.
ave are lost" sed Baseom gloom
lily.
"Oh that should live to see this
day 90 signed Deekin POgram.
LET w. compOrt ourselves like
men," sed |. This is Cyclone. 1t
will only last few days; Cannot We
submit 10 deprivation for that time ?"
Ten O'Clock arrived. The wind set
In from the North. Isaaker rushed
out and looked ut the sky, aud came
back with hope on bis eOuntenanee.
"Ef this wind holds we are saved
Ha! It grows colder! There's fakes
NV snow in the air The percsshen
can't move. The percesheH amt got
no shoes
It did giL colder. The wind came
raw and in icy blasts. We consulted
the only thermometer we hev In the
Corners, wieh is q little Niger boy,
on a wet plank, barefoot. We deter
mine the degree Nv cold by assertainIn
how long be kin stand outdoors In
that way. 1t is primitive but ak
kerit.
Half-past tenI IL wuz blowin q
gale, and wuz ez cold ez bloc blaZes
IL Wuz impossible for any woman,
without shoes or under clothes, To
stand it in the open air.
Deekin POgram-came in, his frosty
nose CLOWN with joy, and ne fell on
BAseOm's neck ejAckIlatIn, Saved
Saved 20
"HOOray ?" shouted Isssker Gavitt,
"WithOut shoes and shawls mot q
eussed one nv EN- kin git out Nv doors
to- day ~
Baseom Wept teers Nv JOY as be ask
ed US take sutbin.
'FYOo see," sed Deekin POgTam,
chow Providence keers for US. Ef we
he'd wasted our mummy on eioZe and
sich, the wimmen wood hev he'd us.
Money put in wimmen's eloze is wus
than wasted. Ef they he'd eioze they'd