The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-08-22
NEW NoR'-WEsTERs.
last MANA cobbler.


-Chicago's valuation-$312 100000.
A little faded flour-A crust of bread.
"A "social cataclysm " is what they call
it in Boston.
Frank Leslie calls Watterson the Journal
istic Jules Verne.
One of the best billiard players in San
Francisco is Chinaman
To remove dandruff-Get out on the
plains and insult All Indian.
I'm Nevada they explain "nest-hiding 4"
as Hen-nery's favorite lay
Henry Layman. Shoemaker. Terre
Haute. BEDFORD. Jealousy.
General Grant was recently presented
with cigar over seventy years old.
I'm Delaware the. price for calling the
Court "a bloated old rhinoceros is just
S. 90. ..... ..
The last little game played by the west
ern types changed Theo. Tilton into The
O'Tilton.
-Beecher once said the United States
is England broke loose and growing in the
open air.
-"Publishing a nonpariel paper in a
long primer town y is what did the business
for q Kansas editor.
If you didn't geta sight of the comet
this time, it won't matter; it will be around
again in about 270 years.
The male swell at the seaside wears a
white flannel suit and black straw hat
| bound with blue ribbon.
AT no time since the outbreak of the
war has the mercantile Indebtedness of the
country been SO small as now. .....
Western papers are howling for a
bald-headed President. They must antici-
pate change in our Indian policy.
The prevalent sentiment in the South
ern press is that the cunning season in
Brooklyn ought to have set in long ago.
The subject for discussion before the
Brooklyn Young Mems Ecumenical Coun-
Gil is ''Do steam-whistles promote Christi
anity?"
Tho Texas cattle drive this year num-
bers about 155, 900, with 100000 wintered
in Kansas and 10000 in Colorado, that will
also come into market.
| When Kentucky hen lays an egg
eight inches long, all the ROSTERS in the
neighborhood get together and hold an Ecu
menical Council over it.
Mark Twain has taken 100000, Sen.
Jones cf Nevada $40, 900, and David Clark
$4,000, in the stock of a new Hartford Ac-
cident insurance Company.
The radical papers in the South no long
er speak of blackherries. Out of respect to
the majority of Southern voters they are
now called colored berries.
Carl Schurz is creating quite a sensa-
ton at Newport. He can wade out into
the water further, without wetting his
waist, than any other man there.
When any one out West relates cir
cumstauce that takes more than two men to
believe, they interrupt him by asking if he
has a photograph of the occurrence.
Take two large wrought-iron nails, wire
them together in the shape of a cross. 1t
will then be found impossible to swallow
them. There is no deception about this.
Several bandits who were recently cap
| tured in the mountains of Santa Ana Mica
rauga, received 200 lashes each, a band Of
music being employed to drown their cries.
| A Brooklyn cynic remarks that some
Christians would be better off if they were
Mohammedans, us the religion of the Pro-
| phet of Allah requires people to wash them
! selves.
The new Palace Hotel, San Francisco,
! is to be $50 feet in width, 272 in depth, six
| stories high, with q pavilioned roof, con-
j tains 700 rooms, and cost, completed and
furnished 81, 10000
The party who started the story that
| $50 moro had been contributed toward the
completion of the Washington monument
has been arrested for trifling with the feel
ings of a great people.
-" What brought you to prison, my col
ored FRIEND" said Yankee to 81 negro.
"Two constables' sah." eyes, but mean
had intemperance anything to do with it ?''
eyes sab, dey was bof of 'em drunk
Among all the grand inquiries that,
from time to time, arrest the attention of
mankind, none more frequently ''oyerlaps
the margin of possibility" than the ques-
ton as to what becomes of all the old tooth
picks.
--"What do you know of the character OF
this man ?'' was asked of a witness at a po-
lice court the other day. "What do
know of his character? 7 know it to be
unbleachable, your honor" he replied with
much emphasis.
"A correspondent of the Scientific Amer.
acaB says certain cure for nose bleeding
| is to extend the arm perpendicularly against
a wall or post, Or any convenient object fol
support. The side from which the blood
proceeds is the one to elevate.
/ III iihO % WtsctO VI ptAAV W oPCtip
five years at West Point for the purpose ot
acquiring the title of lieutenant, when /;
boy can be called g Colonel Z by simply ad
dressing q few words to any thirsty congre
CATION in q bar-room.
When person is detected surrepti
tiously gathering up all the papers within
reach and stealthily retiring to his owl
room with them, he is understood to be th'
man who said he'd rathercu his right hant
off than read anything about this Beeche
scandal.
"A man has recently been pardoned oul
Of the Wisconsin penitentiary, who simpl.
witnessed a crime involuntarily, pleaded
guilty to save woman and has thus passet
seven years of servitude for crime he dir
MT commit The (tbiragn Trsbatne suG