The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-09-17
Hints to Young Ladies.

All unmeaning and unnecessary movements
are contrary to the rules of grace and good
breeding When not intentionally in motion,
your body and limbs should be in perfect rest.
Addison says that "the use of dancing lessons
is to teach lady to sit still gracefully" Your
whole department should give the idea that
your person, your voice and your mind are en-
| tirely under your own control.
Self-possession is the first requisite to good
manners; and when it is wanting, there is
generally reason for it in some wrong feeling
or false appreciation of things. Vanity, a love
of display, an over-weening desire to be ad-
mired, are great obstacles of selfpossession
whereas, well-disciplined and well-balanced
In very elegant assemblage in large
drawing-room, the writer saw young lady
walk quietly and easily across the apartment
to speak to friend, who said to her, II wanted
very much to get to you, but had not the
courage to cross the room how could you do
it all alone, too, with so many persons looking
at you?"
II did not think of anybody's looking at
me" was the reply and in that lay the secret
of her self-possession.
Very modest people believe themselves to be
of too little consequence to be observed but
conceited ones think everybody must be look
ing at them. inexperienced girls, who are not
wanting in modesty, are apt to dread going
into crowded room, from an idea that every
eye will be turned upon them but after a
while, they discover that nobody cares to
look at them, and the greater the crowd, the
less they are observed.
Ones enjoyment of party depends far less
on what she finds there than on what she car
ries with her. The vain, the ambitious, the
designing, will be full of anxiety when they
20, and of disappointment when they return
A short triumph will be followed by deep
modification, and the selfshness of their aims
| defeat ITSELF
If you go to see, and to hear, and to make
| the best of whatever occurs with disposition
to admire all that is beautiful, and to sympa-
thize in the pleasures of Others, you can hardly
fail to spend the time pleasantly. The less
you think of yourself and your claims to at
tention, the better. If you are much attended
| to- receive it modestly, and consider it as a
happy accident; if you are little noticed, use
your leisure in observing others.
| A woman of sound sense will neither be ella
ted by attention nor depressed by the want of
it; and if not invited to join in the dance,
| which would so we'll suit her buoyant spirits,
she will indemnify herself by entering into
conversation with some agreeable person near
her, or by studying some bust, or picture, or
specimen of art which the place affords.
There is charm in mere youth, which is set
off to the best advantage by simple style of
dress. Young girls lose a great deal if they
sacrifice their peculiar privileges for the sake
of ornament and elaborate toilet which would
become them at later period. The simplest
muslin frock, if we'll made, and accompanied
by well-dressed hair, neat gloves and shoes or
boots, will become girl in her teens far better
| than the richest satins and laces.
However agreeable beau may be, he should
not be allowed to engross a lady for any con-
siderable length of time. Some gentlemen
make practice of selecting lady whom they
like, and keeping her to themselves for the
greater part of the evening, unless the lady
takes measures to prevent it. If she appears
pleased with the tete-a-tetc, other gentlemen
will avoid interrupting it, and thus q founda-
ton is laid for one of those idle reports, which
every one should take pains to avoid. In such
case you need not hesitate to break off the
conversation, and to change your position so
as to ensconce yourself among ladies, and get
rid of such marked attentions.
No man Of delicacy would choose to exhibit
real preference to the heart; this sort of
monopoly is one Of the amusemeuts Of the
selfish, and if you suffer it, they will think you
highly honored by their notice.