The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1874-12-05
VISITORS AND VISITING.
From The Household.
BY AUNT LEISURELY.

MY DEAR NIECE ZILLAH:-l have Just
| returned from a visit to a dear friend and
found your letter asking me to expatiate on
that very subject for your benefit, so l has
ten to comply with your request.
You say your brother is coming home to
spend his few days vacation, he expects to
bring two of his school-mates, young men
of his own age with him, you wish to make
a little entertainment for him the evening
of his arrival, you have invited young
lady friend to visit you at the same time
and when she returns to her home you are
to accompany her and you want little
advice on visits and visiting.
A visit to be what it is designed, should
| be pleasure to entertainer and guest; on
the part of the entertainer, feeling of sat
isfaction that they have received into the
home circle one whose presence is agreea-
bic, who is received joyfully as an acquisi-
ton to the already cheerful tireside; and on
the part Of the guest certainty of entire
welcome, the pleasure of seeing and enjoy
ing change of scenery and society, to
recreate body and mind such is my idea Of
visiting.
I have seen persons playing the part of
entertainers really kind, hospitable people
they were too, sincerely anxious that their
guests should enjoy the visit but the naodus
out for the visitors inspection, enabling
them to see just where their entertainers
were put to trouble on their account and
feel themselves in the way.
For instance, 81 had intended taking
you out driving this afternoon, but hus-
band needs the horse to plough, still, can
have it if | insist upon it, What guest
after that would feel any desire to go, or
supposing they went, would enjoy the
drive or, "the bolt is out Of our carriage,
we could get one of a neighbor, although
he is not very willing to either lend or hire
it, but | would not care much about that if
you would really like to co." why not sub
stitute pleasant walk or some other amuse-
ment and say nothing about the drive if it
is inconvenient to go at that time? The
truest politeness and kindness will keep all
such little matters from visitors knowl-
edge, and not let them see it requires plan
ming for their enjoyment.
The really most agreeable places to visit
are where no perceptible change is made by
your coming, where you feel you are truly
welcome and no fuss about it, where, if
you please you can go to your own room
and read or sew for a time without being
considered unsocal, in short to have per-
feet freedom to enjoy yourself in your own
way as much as possible.
And, "by no fuss about it," | do not
mean the entertainers should not exert
themselves for their visitors pleasure, only
that it should not be so perceptible to the
guests as to cause them to feel they are CIV
ing trouble.
Say what we will of being above epicur-
eanism we all feel the better for good
meal, and change of diet is very apt to
give one better appetite, in fact that is
Of f1a har ha \
visit, therefore, a table SO meagerly sup
piled as to cause guest to rise from it
unsatsied, is one of the things that should
be placed in the litany.
Good old Bonnie Franklin's maxim, "To
always rise from the table with an appe-
title" is very good in the almanac, but few
visitors feel like putting it in practice, par
ticularly if there IS enough on the table to
satisfy it.
Nor is there any use of going to the
opposite extreme of having such a multi
plicity of edibles that one is confused in a
choice but just comfortable, genial, CHEEKY
little meals, where abundance but not Law
ishness crowns the board.
Meal time in my opinion should always
be cheerful time, visitors or no visitors,
no hurrying through it as though it were
disagreeable duty that must be performed
linger, to chat, to enjoy the good cheer, to
laugh at the merry jest, to feel when you
arise from it you are refreshed all over.
Make a visitor feel at home, although not
quite after the manner of young lady |
read of once who invited schoolmate to
visit her, land just come any time she
added, 6 for we shall go to no trouble, but
Just treat you as one of the family" Be
ing treated as one of the family she found
when she went, was to share little dingy
back bed room with her friend and two of
her friends little sisters, while the large,
airy, guest chamber with it's cheerful front
windows and pleasant prospect, it's ward
robe and dressing glass, (all minus in the
little den she had to 60 out into the entry
to turn round in;) was standing uneccu-
pied. And this was a sample of the visit
throughout; she found she was expected to
help in the household duties, and all re-
quests of the kind were prefaced or con-
cluded with, "for we want you to feel just
as though you were one of the family"
And speaking of assisting in household
affairs, | think where visitor sees any lit
tie service she could render would be &C
ceptable, she should offer it, but it is
favor that should be rendered on the part
of the guest, not demanded as right on
the part of the entertainer.
| Every lady while visiting should keep
her bed room in order and SO make no more
extra work than possible, unless it is where
plenty of help is kept, and her hostess pre-
fers the servants should attend to it. And
just here may say, that visiting is one of
the times that a knowledge of fancy work
serves good purpose, enabling one to
make some little keep sake that shall be
treasured by the entertainer as memento
of the visit.
Letting visitors feel they are comforting
pleasure by their visit is one of the truest
ways of making them enjoy it, although
not in quite the conspicuous manner of
young cousin and myself, once upon
time. 1t makes me smile at this late day
every time ! think of it, and 1 may as well
tell you how it was. We were away at
school together, and during vacation we
made visit to an amt who resided in
neighboring town. One afternoon Just as
We had arisen from a siesta, two cards were