New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-10-18

to me doubt, implied in the very express
sion of her own strength and pride. She
had meant to address me as an equal, yet,
despite herself. took stand little above
that which she accorded to me.
came back to New York earlier than
usual, worked steadily at my profession,
and with increasing success, and began to
accept opportunities (which l had previ-
ously declined) of making myself person
ally known to the great, impressible. tickle,
tyrannical public. One or two OF my
speeches in the hall of the Cooper Ins.i-
tute, on various occasions-as you may
perhaps remember-gave me good head
way with the party, and were the chief
cause of my nomination for the State office
which I still hold. There, on the table,
lies resignation. written to-day, but not
yet signed. Wen talk Of it afterward)
Several months passed by, and no inrther
letter reached me. gave up much OF my
time to society, moved familiarly. in more
than one province Of the kingdom here.
and vastly extended my acquaintance. es.
pecially among the women; but not one OF
them betrayed the mysterious something or
other--really can't explain precisely what
it was-which was looking for. In fact,
the more ! endeavored quietly to study the
sex, the more confused became.
At last. ! was subjected to the usuaI on.
slaught from the strong.minded. A small
but formidable committee entered my office
one morning and demanded categorical
declaration of my principles. What my
views were on the subject. l knew very
we'll; they were clear and decided; and yet
hesitated to declare them! 1t wasn't q
temptation of St. Anthony that is, turned
the other way-snd the belligerent attitude
of the DANES did not harm me in the least;
but she! What was Ac, position! How
could I best please her! 1t flashed upon
my mind. while Mrs. - was making her
formal speech. that I had taken no steps
for months without vague. secret refer
ence to her. So, strOve to be courteous.
friendly, and agreeably non-c0mmittal;
begged for further documents. and prom.
ised to reply by letter, in few days.
was hardly surprised to find the we'll
known hand on the envelope of letter
shortly atterward. held it for minute in
my palm with an absurd hope that might
breaking the seal. Then read it with q
great sense Of relief:
IL have never assumed TO guide a man
except toward the full exercise of his pow.
ers. 1t is not opinion in action, but opinion
in state OF idleness or Indifference, which
repels me. am deeply glad that you have
gained 30 much since you left the country.
If, in shaping your course, you have thought
of me. will frankly say that to that extent
you have drawn nearer. Am mistaken in
cOniecturing that you wish to know my
relation to the movement concerning which
you recently interrOgateds In this. as In
other instances which may come, must beg
you to consider me only as q spectator. The
more my own views may seem likely to
sway your action, the less shall be in.
clined to declare them. If you find this
cold or unwomanly, remenber that it Is not
easy"
Yes: felt that had certainly drawn
much nearer to her. And from this time
on, her imaginary face and form became
other than they were. She was twenty.
years older; 3 very little above
the middle height. but not tall: serene.
rather than stately, in her movements; with
a calm. almost grave face. relieved by the
eyes Of pure. limpid gray, such as we fancy
belonged to tho Venus of Milo. found her.
thus. much more attractive than with the
dark eyes and lashes-but she did not make l
her appearance in the circles which fro.
quented.
Another year slipped away. As an off.
cial parsonage. my Importance increased,
but l was careful not to exaggerate it to
myself. Many have wondered {perhaps
y Ou dWOuS luO Iccl/ NY SuCCSeSs 6ctluS
that possess no remarkable abilities. If l
have any secret. it is simply this-doing |
with all my might, whatever ! !
undertake. Nine-tenths OF our politicians !
become inflated and careless after tha first |
lew years, and are easily forgotten when |
they once lose place. ! am q little sur. !
prsed now that had so much patience |
with the Unknown. l was too important.
at least. to be played with: too mature to !
be subjected to longer test; too earnest.
as had proved, to be doubted, or thrown |
aside without a further explanation.
Growing tired. at last. OF silent waiting. |
bethought me Of advertising. A carefully |
written ''persOnal." in which Ignotus in.
formed Ig'aOta OF the necessity Of commu.
nicating with her. appeared simultaneously |
in the Tribune, Herald. World and Times. I
the advertisement as the time ex.
PRED, without an answer, and l think it
about the end of the third week before
ono came, through the post, as before.
All, yes! had forgotten. See My adj.
is pasted on the note, as
heading or motto for the manuscript lines.
don't know why the printed slip should
give particular feeling of humiliation as
look at it, but such ia the fact. What she
wrote is all need read to you:
IL could not, at fret, be certain that this
was meant for me. Ii were to explain to
you why have not written for SO long q
time. / night give you one OF the few cews
which insist ON keeping in my own hands.
In your public capacity. you have been $50
ar as a woman may judge), upright, indie.
pendent. wholly manly: in your relations
with other men learn nothing of you that
s not honorable; toward women you are
Kind, chivalrOus, no doubt overlooking with
he usual social refinemeuts, but Here,
lgain, l run hard upon the absolute neces.
,ity of silence. The way to me. if you care
% traverse 1t. is so simple. so very simple!
let. after what l have written, I can not
wen wave my hand in the direction Of it.
without certain selfcontempt. When feel
rec 10 tell you. We shall draw apart and
emain unknown forever.
"YOu desire to write! I do not prohibit
I. have hitherto made no arrangement
OK hearing from you. in turn, because l
ould not discover that any advantage
gould accrue from it. But it seems only
air. confess. and you dare not think me
apricious. SO, three days hence, at six
iclock in the evening. a trustv messenger
f mine will call at your door. If YOU have
my thing to give her for nue., the act of Civ.
NJ it must be the sign of compact on
our part that you will allow her to leave
unquestiOned and unfollOwed."
You look puzzled, see: yon don't catch
he real DRIFT! of her words! Well-that's
encouragement. Neither did !
t the time; 1t was plain that had disap.
ointed her in some way, and my inter.
curse with. or manner toward women had
to do with 1t. In vain,I ran over
3 much Of my later social life as could
ecall. There had been no special atten.
ion. nothing to mislead susceptible heart:
n the other side, certainly no fudeness. no
7ant of ''chivalrous" lshe used the word)
aspect and attention. What, in the name
I all the gods, was the matter!
In spite OF all my efforts to grow clearer,
was obliged to write my letter in rather
,uddled state of mind. I had so much to
ay: sixteen folio pages. was sure, would