New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-10-18

I And be my bliss of blisses-
Will Come to meet me at the %ates
NOy be too old IOe kisses.
NAsBY.
Dir. Nasty Tries to Get Ills People In nm
/ Advanced Positj0n-Thc Resuls Of His
| Endesvor.
CONFEDERATE x ROAps }
(W.ch 10 in the State OF Kentucky,
October ,. 1874.
! hev bin for a long time convinst that
the prinsiple trubble with the Dimocrisy
| wuz sort of lack OF prOgressivenis, of
! adaptability, eli may so speak. to changes
| in the requirements nv the times. Dimoc.
| Yisy hez alluz bin in a nut. and it never kin
! git on to glory, IN my opinyun. till it gifts
| histed out Nv 1t.
| I determined that the Cross Roads, at
| least, shOod be progressive. and shoOd take
| the lead in maxim Dimocrisy all that it ought
| to be. In short, perpOsed to inOggerate a
moo deparcher, and bring the old party mp
abreast with the live ishOos w the day.
To this end consulted with DeekiR Pog.
ram. Issaker Gavett and Captain McPelter.
| and they agreed with me that that wuz wat
ought to be done. and that no time shOod
be lost doin Nv it. Ever prompt, segestid
that we git together that ve"y night, in the
| back room at Bascom's, and draw up q
to the world as the prinsipples nv the
progressive Dimocrlsy Nv the Cross Roads,
wich We shOod live by.
But the i'll luck wich hez followed me all
my life, and hez we'll nigh brot my gray
hairs in sorrow to the grave. wuz close be.
hind me on this Occashuo. At that after.
noon l wuz sent tor to go TO Secessionville
to serve on joury to try niger for hog
ateelin. which, of cOuse, Good not be put on.
] I'D ISIS aker, the Deeki1 and McPelter to
git together and draw up the resolooshens
aud send en- to thocounty paper to insert.
"Make EN- strong and peppery," l sed.
"AvOid the musty noshens NV the dead
past, and strike out suthin new and start.
lin. Make EN- progressive. and put your
selves in accord with to day. Remember
that all old things must be done away with
and all things must become new Head OFT
the Abolishinists and Changers and SIGH by
goin back onto the old and being more pro.
gressive than even they are"
With this advice lef, EN- and went to
Secessionvlle and tried the niger. We
didn't waste any time on evidence or any.
thing NV that sort; nor did we leave the
box. We brought him in guilty, and to
save the county costs hung him at once.
l go. home the next mornin. and went to
lssaker's lmmeiit. to SEQ wat they he'd done.
did you draw up them sesoloosheEs"
askt.
1--WE did" sed lie. land sent them oft. and
they are in print before this sime.''
''Are they progressiye!" askt !.
"YOo bet!" sed he.
"Did 700 ignore old ishoos! did 700 draw
a sponge over the past. and are they full Of
live. now ideasf'
"They are" sei he. 'hers II q copy NV
en-"
took the paper and red:
+ fHCN va rS
he'd call to step in the front rank Nv the
progressive men Nv to-day, and
Whereas, The Corners believe in progress.
turns its back Cnt0 the dead past. and
ignores the dead ,shoos 1ich bez heretofore
Okkepied the public mind: therefore be it
ReSOired, That the. Dimocrisv Nv the Cor.
ners believe the war of 1871. wuz justitiaole,
and hereby return their thanks to the heroic
sojers and salers who so nObly sustained
the honor Nv the cOontry's tag in that
desprit struggle.
Resolrcd, That the resoiooshens Nv '9S
meet our harty approval. tho wo amt jest
certin wat they wuz.
Resoired That the late war agin the South
wus conceived in sin and wuz blow aimed
at the only chivalry this country ever he'd.
and that the results thereof wux all brot
forth in inikity.
Resoired. That Afrikin elavery is not only
justified by the holy skripters. but is the
normal thing for this or any other country.
Rcsolred, That We brand the Emansi.
pashen Preclamashen ez emanatin from a
gorilla, and the ConstitushEe! Amendment
abolishin slavery ez a fraud WHICH VIC are
not called upon to recognize.
Resoired, That a nigger is a inferior bein'.
and that whoever asserts his rite to any
ekality with the proud. sooperiOr Cau-
cashen race is a fanatic and agitator. and
ought no: to DO allowed to 1--we in free
country.
Resolved, That we deny the rite Nv the
Niger to vote. and brand them ez urge it
ez enemies NV their country.
Resolred. That we hold stedfastly to the
doctrine of States rites. the rite NV seces.
sion. and the rite Of each State to govern
itself ez il dam pleases.
Rcsolrcd. That the laws agin marryin mig.
gers should. for the perteckshen NV our
young men. be more .igidly enforced than
ever.
Resolred. That all le:isiashen agin the
likker interest ID NY
! Good read no longer. I dropped the
paper and CRASHED my teeth.
els this yoOr idee Nv suthin progre ssIye"
asked. sis this yoor noshen of buryin
dead ishoos! Ia this yoOr idea NV gettin
into the van Nv public opinyun and hevin
sum advanced noshens!'
'It's all the DEMOCRACY we knew any.
thing about, sed lssaker. and Deckin PO.
gram comm up remarkt that he he'd .tood
onto SIGH platform ez that ever since he
he'd voted, and it wuz good enuff for him.
Il wuz no use to argue with them, for
they are iron ciads. ! merely remarkt to
'em that while they wuz aboutit they ought
to hev resolved suthin about the stamp act,
Hampden's opposition to chip money. the
Panic wars. Aiexander's invashen nv Asia,
and above all things they should hev pro-
tested agin the imposishen NV the Egyp.
shens In requiem the Israelites to make
brix without straw.
"lhe trouble with them ,esoiooshers Is,
sed |. with witherin look a. Elm. .thc sub.
lex is too recent"
And | strobe hastily away. The ,esc'oo.
shens wuz IN print, and vii. 20 North. 700
cant 81, them old Noshens cut Nv the head
NV Old line Democ:.t Any mere .hs.nsou kin
Keep en- from iriri1lI: corn iskey. II
hez a'luz been my misfo,choon TO hev Asses
20 deal with. Heaven help ine. how much
Lev 70 endeor at their hands.
PETROLEUM V. Nasty.
Hich was Postnas'sr.l
.-yotsdo BlaGs.