Litchfield enquirer., 1874-06-25
cLlpplNcs.

The cremationists in Rhode Island nat uraIly go for Burnside for Senator.
 Inc ratio of suicide in the British army is three times as great as Tn the civil pop ulation.
 A Meriden church organist played the ssNulliCan Guards" as a voluntary, Sum- day before last.
 That was bright little child who in- quired, ''Ma, when COWS die, do they go to tho tmilkyway?'"
 A young man in Pennsylvania saw her Wednesday, courted her Thursday, mar ricd her Friday, and was in jail for horse stealing on Saturday.
 A California man tied one end of rope around his waist: and lassoed a COW with the other. He thought he had the COW, but at the end of the first half mile he began to suspect that the COW had him.
 Danburv cremationists are going to pe- tition the Legislature to change the name of the town to Danburn. Gpolis TSribs1ac. H U t
 The latest triumph of ''Similia Simili- bus:" A Western veterinarian announces that brandy is an unfailing remedy for ''staggers.
 4 Wisconsin widow has just buried her eighth husband, and subscription is on foot to induce her to establish her pri~ vate cemetery ill some other state.
 A. D. 2OOO. Scene before 0 cremation undcrtrker's show.-Small boY-'1 say, air, is dad done yet? If he is, please put him in this ere tin kettle"
 An ardent lover, pouring out his pas sionate devotion in verse, spoke of that night when, walking with his sweetheart, Inc kissed her under the silent stars" In print he was made to say that he ''kicked her under the cellar stairs.
 The girls of Vassar college have moon- light sails on the Hudson, and the young men of that vicinity are graciously permit ted to stand on the shore of that noble river and sec them go by. No cards, and no hope of any.
 A man who was about to be hanged in Alabama, sang joyfully. as he stood with the moose about his neck: ooh! the bright angels are waiting for me-" Whereupon the local edItor fiendishly wrote: "And then tho angels stirred up the fires, and looked brighter than ever."
 An Eastern "poic" counsels G. c. W. F. 4. s. to
 Be alters kind, and never say "shall;''
 And do what you can tew please her; For she's hum-bred ,Merican gal,
 And the che-yild of our hur1-bred Cte-
 sar.
 An able discussion is going on between Chicago and Detroit newspapers about the size of women's feet. The following lOwfung personality is the last try by Q Detroit editor: ''Chicago may talk about the homely women of Detroit, but there IS one redeeming power. When one of them gets mired they don't have to digup half the street to get sixteen-foot scant- ling under her foot for pry."
 proHigate Boston paper having slan- dered the virtue of New England by as- serting that an ardent lover of that ilk caught cold in kissing his inamorata's snowy brow, an indignant contemporary reiOins that no such near approach was ever permitted in Massachusetts, but that the patient struck his light catarrh under the lady's window in nocternal sercnade.
 4 Brooklyn newspaper has received from q correspondent the following let @1As NuACu COuCAuo1NSAy cCtoAOo IaC 1uCS- tions concerning Miss Smiley which have so long disturbed the minds of some good people:
 '"This Womun smilee in mi Opinyun anght not to be Alowd speak god Mayd us to run Pulpit not wimmen they has mt got Nollege enuf as that is mi Opin- yum"
 ''How much better it would have been to have shaken hands and allow it was all mistakel" said Detroit judge. "Then the lion and the lamb would have lain down together, and wlite-robed peace would have famed you with her wings and elevated you with her smiles of ap- prOllatiOn. But no; you went to clawing and biting and rolling ill the mud, and here you are. It's five dollaIs apiece"