Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1874-03-19

THE PHILOSOPHERS BABY.
had been considering for about veal
whethcg should marry Winifred Hanway
when heard that she was engaged 10 Tho
philosopher. Why did she accept him
IL is true that hc is both imaginative and
critical; bat faculties exercised In The
formation Of psychological hypothesis
and the lsboriops destruction OF those Of
ones neighbor do not usually rouse thu
sympathy Of bright and beautiful girl
who 10 more fit 10 live than TO think about
life. He is certainly handsome, but al
certainly his clothes are barbarous. His
trousers cannot keep their shape for day
and his hats are never new. II he notices
the rain, he opens an umbrella which
might have served as an Intellectual pro
lection nj the time of the deluge; ii he
Ands out that IL Is cold, he assumes gar.
ment which might have been the every day
coat OF Mcthuselsh. His manners are AZ
strange ~ his appearance. He may often
be seen walking in the park at the fash.
tOnAble hour with far of look In his
eyes, and his hat thrust back az III 20 lessen
the external pressure on his active brain
more rarely you may hear him bursting
into enthusiasm In Piccadilly, though
Piccadllly Is the last place In which man
should allow himself 10 be enthusiastic.
In short, though he Ia true friend, he Is
an uncomfortable acquaintance; and his
volcanic uiterances, after long periods OF
calm contemplation, cause such shocks
70 ones nerves AZ would be conveyed 10
The Sunday citizen by the eruption Of
Primrose Hill. But II II was odd that
the beautiful Winifred Hanway should
marry my friend, Il was yet more odd
that he should marry anyone. There
were no topics more certain TO excite an
explosion In the philosopher than the ex-
cessivc population of the country, and
the wholesome solitude of the Thinker.
How" ne would nerceiy ask, "can q
man think efectualiy on fundamental
subjects who Is compelled by the des.
plcahle circumstances of his life To ex.
hausf his analytical faculty In consider.
Ing how 10 pay his butcher, and when 10
buy his coalss l tell you, sir, It's better
70 stafve with cold and hunger than 70
debase ones noblest part 10 game OF
skill with grasping grocer" Again and
again ! had heard him declsim In this
preposterous fashion; and after all he
was going 10 the altar like any other
victim, and would doubtless take house
upon his back with the docility of a
snail.
j could not solve the problem; / would
not give u up. So, full Of the determine
ton TO drag Diogenes out of his tub, and
the secret out Of Diogcnes, stepped
round the corner To offer my. congratula-
lions. Ny friend was In his study, APP
parently writing, really eating quill pen.
He rose NJ me with rush, wrung my
hand Till il ached, and blushed rather un-
comfortably. Congratulations are the
curse Of the Briton. Whether he Is offer.
ing them or receiving them he Is general
~ obi ged TO take refuge In Intermittent
hand-shaking, and most Of his sentences
tsil on into grunts and groans. But on
this occasion II was evident that the phi
l0sopher had something ready " say and
was nervously anxious to say IT, Indeed,
had hardly said more than My dear
fellow, don't know when--I really am
30 awfully glad, Its In every way
50, such satisfactory, you know really
do wish all possible, and all that
sort of thing, you know''---when
he burst i'm with a speech 80 fluently
delivered that l knew l was not his
earliest visitor that morning. "Of course
it's taken you by SURPRISE" he said, ''as
knew IL would; but the truth Is, that /
have been thinking of II for long time,
and I am sure am right" Here | tried
10 get in an expression Of wonder at his
new notion Of his duty, but he was bent
on his being rid of the matter, and hur-
Yied on TO his reasons "In the first
place" said he, am sure That, instead
Of increasing my domestic worries, my
marriage will transfer them In n body TO
my wife; and, secondly, when consider
the vast number OF fools who are every
day born into the world, am terrified by
the picture Of what the next generation
will be, If the thinkers Of this are TO be
without successors" Having discharged
his reasons In this wise, the orator stood
blinking at me as II he feared dissent, but
was too astonndcd by his magnificent
sudacity 10 reply. Slowly look
OF peace stole back into his face, q
pleasant light dawned In his eyes,
and the promise OF smile at the
corners Of his mouth. His remarkable
fiueDcy was gone, and indeed his voice
sounded quite choky when he said,
q Johnny, you don't know what an angel
she Is" A light broke in upon me.
/" Philosopher" said, ! believe you are
going 70 be marred because you fell in
lover Perhaps you are right" said
the philosopher.
After the wedding the philosopher and
his wife went abroad for an indefinite pc.
Rod, and their friends heard but little OF
them. He wrote TO nobody, and she did
-. "a
sional ruInors. Now they were breath
Ing the keen air Of the Engadine, now
sinking to the chestnuts and vines OF Chi
ayenna; now he was lashing himself to
Irenzy over the treasures OF Rome; now
The was gazing with sweet Northern eyes
across the glowing splendor of the Bay OF
Naples. Then they were in Germany,
md about 70 settle for life In university