, 1874-12-27

rare scholarly attanmcnts, great pulpit elective
| ness and withal is tho posseEHor OF physique
which suggests the perfection OF manly viEos' .';
It is understood that ho returns at once 10 Jill
| cago to enter upon his new duties.
MISCELLANEOUS EXTRACTS.
CHURCH AND CHEESE.
Some folks don't like the odor OF Llmburge1
cheese. One evening not very long slncc a
gentleman had mado his preparations to attend
prayer-me citing with his wife. Prior to starting
he camo down town to his place OF business, and
yhle there An acquaintance discovered that he
was about to engage in Wednesday evening
DEVOTION Accordingly ho put up villainous
lob Procuring huge slice OF tho most fragrant
Limburger cheese to be had, he watched his op.
por.uuity, and just a. the gentl .man stepped
out of tie door to 20 home for his wife, slipped
it in his pocket Tho parties repaired to the
church, and wero soon seated side by s1dc IN e
! comfortable pew near the stove. Soon the
cheese began to grow loud. The sisters turned
their heads about and looked as ii u krnut
barrel had exploded. The deacous eloyated their
noses and thought of the thi rd plague OF Egypt.
Tho preacher snelled great smell and the vito
Of the unconscious odor-caskct nudSed her
spouse and inquiredit be didn't smell something.
''Mariar, it's awful he responded; 1t must oe m
in the coal" The more the assembly spec1lated
the louder the oaor became, and finally all hands
united ia hu1ryius the proceedings to close.
Arrived at home. and whi1c preparing to retire,
the gentloman discovered the ca1.ae Of the ui1-
pleasantness, and removed it on couple OF
chips.-Iond State Register.
The proprietor OF Boston eating-saloon ad-
yertiscs :" sacred clam chowder every Sanday
evening""
There is man in New jersey who has not
been to church in twenty years. Ha boards at
the State Prison, Trenton.
4 Green Bay man dreamed that he died and
went to heaven. and, in his e1cltemens, ne 1eA
OF the bed and broke his leg.
A Dubuque man offers his service to pray with
the sick at SO day. He il also willing to drive
team. break colts, and run clder-nu.
They have stump-tailed Manx cat On exhibit
tiou at an uptown Presbyterian fair Cannot
tnis be construed ss indicating tendency to-
wards Pusoy-ism?
A minister who camo into church during sud
den shower requested another to preach for him.
rs he was very vet. 10; SAD tue ethcf'
preach yourself you will be dry enough in
tho pulpit"
An old farmer gives it as his candid opinion,
after many years of observation and experience,
that the arrival OF o circus will do more towards
enforcing tho Fourth Commandment than
dozen Sunday schools.
The moral of the Jesse Pomeroy case Is al
ready commended in the Boston Sunday schools,
anu II Is 10 Tie eueCt LQAt lttt!6 uoaS WIZ Nauk
to have renl nice time numbering their play
mates must so aud get crazy in New York.
4 Missourian who attended prayer-meeting
with his daughter felt compelled to rise up and
remark: II want to be good and 50 to heaven;
but it those fcers don't stop wiuking at Mary,
there will be good deal Of prancing around
here the fust thing they KNOW
Several Massachusetts c1ergymen, who be-
lieyo that the world Is cured by too much lati-
t,1,, opiSr in HnCiH1 hAyA anlpmntV
resolved not to perform a marriage ceremony a.
ter 10 D. m. '.Late hours," they remark, with
philosophic severity, "are bad beginning OF
married life."
a philadelphi. horse-car conductor found q
pocketbook containing 91U0. and AFTER two days
yigilant search discovered the owner and restored
tho property. At a private meeting OF the other
conductors he was denounced for his reckless
disregard Of the opportunities Touchsafed hun
by mysterious Providence.
4 lecturer on the evolution theory recently
held forth to the congregation Of truly ortho-
do1 church in an island village Of Pennsylvania.
Great, was the Indignation OF his auditors at
hearing him dcnounce the atheistic teachings OF
Darwin aud Spencer. He appreciated the point
upon learning aftcrward that the people, who
has never heard Of the English writer on social
science, thought he MAS referring to their be-
loved pastor, tho 1lev. Ichabod Spencer.
Brother Glover WAS pretty big man in GER
tain old Connecticut village. He would swear
little eometimes but when he subscribed $500
toward rebuilding and reitting the old church,
that special act Of charity covered multitude OF
slns. Brother Glover had big voice. There
WAS no time. tone. or tune in it, but he beloved
as i,o plaased in church singing. When the new
church was finished it had to be dedicated, and
u choir was carefully trained to do the singing.
Brother Glover was not of the choir, and the in
teutlou was to rulc him out Of tho vocal e1er-
cises. Tho choir had carefully rehearsed q ded-
icatory hymn, and everything was ready for the
interesting ceremonies The church was crowd
ed, and Brother Glover was in his place in a front
pe,5 rs large as life. The new piece was struck
lin; and Brother Goyer's yoico rouse load above
the organ. There was pause. The organ and
choir zero mute, and tho latter mad. The min-
ister looking at 3 fly on the ce1ling, explained
that it was a new piece. which the choir alone
had pEacticcd. and requested the congregation
not to join in the singing The piece was re-
commenced, and again Brother G1oyers big
voice broke it up. The preacher then liked his
cyeH on Brother Glover and request him to keep
silence during the performance Of the new piece,
which he did not nde1stanl, and Brother Glo-
yer, looking at bis beloved pastor With his big,
round eyes, replied in big voice: q Iook-a-
hero, Mr. Bnrnhart, I paid $500 toward repairing
this darned cid gospe!-box. and by thunder
will sing" The preacher gave it up, and SO did
the cIloir.-Aem 1ork Sun.
RELIGIOUS ANNOUNCEMENTS.
The Rev. Henry 6. Perry will preach morning and
evening in All-s5antS' Church, corner Of North Car
penter and Fourth streets.
Tho Rev DR.. Cush1nan viii oflciate morning and