The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1874-09-05
PITH AND POINT.

THE old gentleman who spent a fortune
in endeavoring to hatch colts from horse
chestnuts is now cultivating egg plant with
a view to raising chickens from it.
A CHIcAGoAN stood two hours on
street corner last night waiting for the
red light over the ditch at the next corner
to come along. He supposed 1t was a
street-car.
A MAN who respects his wife and family
will never tell lie when any one asks
him how he got that scar on his nose, but
will explain how IA stick of wood flew up
you know"
THERE is one consolation in being bald.
When policeman strikes you on the head
with his club the doctor doesn't have to
waste any time in cutting hair away from
the wound.
.sHoPE deferred maketh the heart sick "
has been translated by a Detroit boy to
read: s. If you hope you will go to the
circus, and dad won't let you. it makes
you have the stomache-ache. Free Press.
WHEN one is in the act of tipping his hat
to lady whom he supposes is an aeqaain-
tance. itrequires some tact to make believe
he is only scratching his head as he dis
covers the lady is stranger.
ssPAPA, do you think Beech Hush,
Johnnie.'' But, papa. don't you think
Beech" Didn't yon hear me tell you
to stop your noise. sir? | won't have you
talking about these things. Coin and get
your face washed" And johnnie, with
tears in his eyes, wants to know why
papa wont tell him whether beechnuts are
ripe.
If large woman seats herself by your
side, and on your stove-pipe hat, in rail-
way ear, don't try TO put the thing in
shape again, but place it right on your
head just as it is, and try to convince those
around you. by the expression on your
face, that you don't think it is hurt at all.
This is true politeness.
Now that Frank Brewer, the popular
American negro minstrel, is dead, we will
make the world present OF tive stories
about him. The first is Howard Paul's.
Meeting Brewer one day. Howard said, Il
am very sorry could not attend your
fathers funeral last Sunday, Frank. [
hope that your friends supported you in
your affliction.s aT-thousands of 'em.'
replied Frank, 6 the old house was crowd
educ t-turmed money aaoay9 When
Brewer first arrived in New York. seedy
after journey, the bar-keeper at the Met
ropolitan asked him to pay for his glass Of
brandy before he swallowed it. Z" WhatP'
cried FRANK, aSIOnlSned at IniS Unusual
demand Is Yes,'' said the bar-keeper,
it's the boss orders-all strangers must
pay for it before they drink it. = . G-good
ness - cried Brewer, g is it SO in-instan-
| taneous in its fatal effects ?''- Hornet.
A CERTAIN witness in an action for as
sault and battery mixed things up cOs.sid-
erably in giving his account OF the affair.
| After relating how Dennis came to him
and struck him, he proceeded: : SO. yer
| honor, jist hauled off an wiped his jaw.
Jist then his dog cum alo: g. an | hit him
again. Hit the dog?" No, yer hon
or; hit Dennis. An then up wild a
stone an throwed it at him, an it rolled
him over an overn Threw stone at
Dennis ?' g At the dog, yer honor. An
he got up an hit me again. $ The dog ?"
s No, Dennis. An wild that he stuck his
tail betwixt his legs an run off," 8 Dem
nis?' mo, the dog. An when he came
back at me he got me down an pounded
me. yer, honor 1.-The dog came back
at your mo, Dennis. yer honor. An
he isn't hurt any at all.'' $ Who isn't
hurt?'' 'sThe dog, yer honor"