The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-08-21

watching the ghastly square of
moonlight creep across the floor and
up the legs Of the little table; and.
sitting here alone in the still night.
! a still conflict Of passion and blind
yearning waged within him. The
OverpoMering longing to have things
as be never doubted they we're, 90
| have what he had lived for, and did
everything for, possessed him en-
| tirely. lie had played no man false;
/ he had honestly Won bis prize and
no man could gainsay it Why
should he question, thens Why Wss
be troubled OF divided. But his
hurt pride, wounded as it was, stood
up and asserted itself Had he for
gotten or grown cold through a0-
seRce, or let another creep into her
place? Had she not made him sec
ond2 Did he want mended faith2
Then his half drowned reason took
her part against his pride and pain.
Had he not her esteem, her strong
friendship, her confidence, her un-
feigned gratitude2 Had she power
to give him more? Could debt OF
duty, or willingness give moref Did
ne owe her anything, that be gave
her all he had! Yes, he owed to
her, or to his thought Of her all
that was best in himself-al that
was pure, or strong, OF true And
had he been altogether unselash ai-
ter alp Had he indeed, done al
for her sake only9 Behind that had
he not hidden his own immense gain
his souls own desire2 Was not
she, too, in trouble tonight and had
he not put her pain aside as not
comparable to his oWn2 How did
he know his was the greater And,
vas she to blame? Honestly, he
could not tell.
And all the while tnat he vas
questioning and combating with
himself, his bitterness and aWful
sense Of loss were none the less
above all that. The waters Of des-
olution went above him, and swept
him to and fro, yet would not the
brave man within him suffer him
to be borne altogether from his foot
hold. Some Wo.ds said by ROBBERS
ton came to him vaguely, to the ef
feet, thst though aman should loose
everything, even to his faith in God,
yet would it still remain to him to
do justice, and love mercy and truth.
In some grim way there was 3 Ger
tain satisfaction in the thought Of
his still being able to trample him
self under foot, like the pang Of
pleasure one feels in the crushing
grasp of the forceps on an aching
tooth. But this counter current Of
self assertion lay deep beneath the
food Of misery that overwhelmed
him.
Yet though his breath came hot
and biting with pain and anger TO-
ward her and Ridley, in his deeper
and more abiding self he was forcing
himself to be just and acknowledge
that neither was especially to blame,
and that both were in trouble as vel
as he. His heart sWelled against
the inscrutable fate that had
wrought it as Ridley said. And yet
even in that dark passage, he held
fast to his abiding faith in the right
and justice of the Hand that guides
the world, whose grasp upon cur
| hearts becomes, in times ike that,
SO palpable and awful a reality. He
knew it was right; not that he IN
derstood or eomprehended any sense
of the word in which it e0ald be
right, but he felt that he ahd those
others and their trouble we're parts
as were the stars and the dark
nights before his eyes,and the whole
struggling, suffering, laughing, IN
seeing race Of pen, Of one infinite
whole, that finite thought OF words
| could no more comprehend than g
foot rule gauge the waters OF the
sea. A great humility OFercame
him, and his heart went ont with a
deep pity for all his blind, stumb-
! ling, foolish brothers, and s strong
yearning to understand. Hurt as
he was, almost unendurably, be yet
clung to what was left-t0 trath,and
honesty, and mercy. At any other
time be would have said to courage
also, but he felt no great bravery
then.
He got up slowly as if a great
= -.----~,1r I,s-. 1r.s4yr ard NOV
|, ed about in the same way. The
square of moonlight had climbed
upon the table, and lighted up the
chess board, and the game they had
played. He now first noticed that
Ridley had pushed the bonds and
: the watch across the table at the end
! Of the game, and it hurt him and
made him ashamed. He pushed
them back, and sat down and went
} over the closing moves. Yes, he
had played the better hand and the
checkmate was complete, and yet
{ he had lost the game. He took up
the dice from the floor and cast them
over and over, but the highest count
he could make was a double five. He
|, changed the arrangements Of things
q little, moved about silently, and
, then went out and shut the door soft
!, | ly behind him.
/ He went down to the street, and
his steps turned instinctively toward
the house up the canon. He stop
r ped at the fence, where shadow and
| moonlight met, and looked up at q
e Ecertain window. When he had stood
there a minute or two, there was a
e stir of drapery at the window, and
r then face appeared for 8 moment,
white in the moonshine. It disap-
! peared, and quickly afterwsrd some
one came out Of the door and timid-
D ly down toward the gate. She stop
ped little way of, still, as if in
: doubt.
aIt's me Maggie, "Colyer said.
( She came near and looked up at
< him with an anxious, distressed face,
' and, seeming not to know Whst to
' say, put up her hands deprecatingly,
S and he took them in his.
b $50 you are up too Maggie," he
). said gently, and smiled in pitiful
n fashion.
Il 80, yes" she answered, with q
thickness in her throat at first. aDo
7 you think I could sleep while yor
Y are in trOuble2 Indeed I an NOT ar