davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-04-13
'I'a@|l5i|1l

WARRANT ONE BOTTLE a PERFECT CURE IN
TIE WORST FORMS Of Piles, two to i've bottles In
CANCER, CATARRH, KIDEEY DISEASES, and ell dis
eases Of the skin, and the greatest Blood Pur1nef
ever discovered. Entirely vegetable. request al
to send me and take back their money in al.
cases of failure. None for is years Ii. DFOWLE,
Chemist, Boston, and Montreal Sold throughout
ishing cures.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-04-13

dress. Wholesale Depots, 81 White street. New
York; sol Race street, Philadelphia. 3-7d6m
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-04-13
Watch Buyer. Atteg ton

These watches have Equilibrium escapements, chro
nomoter balances, exposed ruby pallets, Bergue
hair springs, and full ruby jewelled, and combin.
all modern improvements in watch making.
These watches were awarded the Grand Prize
the Paris Exposition of 1867 for the best perform
ance and greatest accuracy in adjustment, and cal
be warranted to perform with the same degree o.
regularity as those made by the best manufactur
ers of Europe and America.
A full assortment constantly on hand for sale b.
QUINCHER & KRUGLER, ID Maiden Lane, (u.
stairs) New York. Only wholesale agents for tn
manufacturers 9-25d1y
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-04-13

Dr. sharp's Specific cures Dyspepsia, Liver Com
plant, Constipation Vomiting of Food. Sour stom-
ach, Water Brash, Heartburn, Low Spirits, &c. In
stinate cases. Sold by druggists generally Depot
145 Eighth street. New York Circulars mailed on
application. Sold by EL-il Dehler- I'll 3d6wom
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
An Earl Attacked by a L,Oness.

The Denver, Colorado, Ne,es, SAYS:
"The Earl OF Dunraven and party,
among whom is DR.. Kingsley, broth
er OF the cannon, have been cutting
up high jinks in Estes Park, and en-
joying all sorts of hairbreadth escapes.
A reliable correspondent writes US
that they have been partially success
full in following the pet pursuit of
good old Izaak Walton, and that
scores if not hundreds, of speckled
beauties overload their baskets daily.
They have also killed any number of
beauties of various sorts, and the Earl
had a pitched battle 18th a female
mountain lion not long ago. that came
very nea causing much weeping
and wailing at Dunraven Castle. He
was alone. having separated from
the rest of the party, when be observ-
ed the leonine mountaineer about to
spring upon him from an overhang-
ing rock in the vicinity. He had just
time to raise his gun to his shoulder
and fire when the creature went for
him. The ball hit her fairly in the
belly, but it did not stop her career.
She lit on the ncbleman, ov%erturning
him, and was just about to spring at
his throat as be lay PROSTATE at her
mercy, when a timely shot from DR..
Kingsley brought her down. The
Earl arr se much dustered at his lar
row escape, but otherwise none the
worst for it, although he privately
told our correspondent that those
mountain lions were blasted nasty
to meet when alone, you
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
a Masonic Goat.

In a small village not & thousand
miles from this place, a certain divine
whose church is strongly opposed to
secret societies announced q few
weeks ago that he would deliver a
discourse against Fremasonry. The
appointment was for Saturday
night, and a large audience came out
to hear him. Just as the speaker be-
gan to warm up with his subject, a
lot Of boys went up to the door, and
opening it showed in an old billy goat
and locked the door on the outside.
Now this old goat was a notorious
fellow. The boys about town had
teaced and fooled" with him so
much that be was always "on the
fight" When thrust into the large
company that composed the audience
Of the reverend speaker he was not at
at abashed, but began looking around
for a foeman worthy of his horns.
Soon he discovered the speaker GEES
ticulating in the further end of the
room, and with a few preliminary
mods, to assure himself that his neck
was in good working order, be made
for bin on the doub'e-quick. 1t was
as if the ghost of the t: Traditional
Masonic goat was after him. Dodg-
ing around the pulpit be managed to
elude billy's well aimed butts. Down
among the audience they came, the
pursued and the pursuer. Women
and children mounted the benches,
and such a scene Of confusion and
such an uproar is not often seer in a
solemn assembly. In the Teantime
the boys were firing a volIey of stones
at the end of the building. BY q
strategic movement the goat was
caught and tied TO a bench, and the
congregation quieted down. The
speaker resumed his subject. Billy
stood quietly for a while, but when
one of the boys who knew bis tricks
made a motion at him he began to
plunge and to rare to get at him, ere
ating about as much confusion as be-
fore. When the door was opered all
were glad to get out but Billy, who
felt that be had not had half a show.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
Geese.

Geese have more sense than they
get credit for; in fact, they are not
the geese people think them; for !
have heard of a goose who became
very fond of a bulldog. Grim, for
that was the dogs name, had saved
her from the clutch Of a fox;
and after that it seemed as if the
poor goose could not do enough to
show Ler gratitude. Every day she
would keep as near to Grim as she
could; and, when he was chained to
his kennel, she would stay by, and
show her affection in many ways.
At last the bulldog was sem off to
to a neighboring town; and then the
poor goose lost her appetite, and
seemed to pine so that her owner
sent for Grim to come back.
The instant the goose heard Germs
familiar bark, she started up, end ran
with outstretched wings to greet him.
Grim seemed well pleased with her
delight, and barked his acknowl-
edgments in n tone that could not be
mistaken.
The goose sou resained her appc-
tite, and wa not again parted
from Grim. The best Of tbs
story is. that il is true, 50 Won SIC
that even geese are not 50 stupid
but that they show gratitude to those
who befriend them.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26

Heart disease is the dread Of many
who spend their lives from youth
till old age in misery with their fears.
More frequently than in regard to
any other complaint, perhaps, do the
fatal results of this disappear in the
papers, not because Of any so great
frequency as because of the sudden
ness " Aieh attracts attention. This
tends 70 keep needless anxiety on the
strain. Probably few people live
who have not at some time conceived
the heart to be diseased, as the symp-
toms which are usually taken to indi-
cate such a condition are readily pro-
duced by disturbance in almost any
other part ofthe body. AS for those
who have really an affection of this
organ, it is now the impression of
many medical men that their chances
of long life is not much reduced only
that they must be more careful than
others to avoid violent physical or
mental excitement.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
How They Finanny Go, Married.

One long summer afternoon there
came TO Nj. Davidson's the most
curious specimen of an old bachelor
thS world ever heard Of He was
old, grey, wrinkled and odd. He
hated old women, especially old
maids, and wasn't afraid to say so.
He and aunt Patty had it hot when
ever chance drew them together; yet
still be came, and it was noticed that
Aunt Patty took usual pains with her
dress whenever he was expected.
One day the contest waged un-
usually strong, and Aunt Patty left
in disgust and went into the garden.
"That bear !" she muttered to her.
self as she stopped to gather a flower
which attracted her attention.
What did you run for ?" asked q
gruf voice behind her.
ITO get rid of you"
You didn't do it, did you?"
:No; you are worse than a bur
dock burr"
you won't get rid Of me either
IL won't eh ?n
only n way
And hat 20
Marry me-"
What! us two fools get married
What would people say p
That's nothing to us. Come, say
yes or no; I'm in a hurry
well, no them.
Every well; good-by; l sham
come again"
stop q bit-what a puckei
you're in
Eyes or mo-"
Il must consult
IAN right l thought you were o.
age. Good-by."
"Jsbez Andrews; don't be a fool
Come back, / say. Why, l believe
the eritter has taken me for earnest
Jabez Andrews, I'll consider"
Il don't want any considering
I'm going. Becky Hastings is wait
ing for me. / thought I'd give yot
the first chance, Patty. All right
good-by."
"Jabezl Jabezl That stuck ~
Beck Hastings shan't have him ! Jab
e. yes! Do you hear me-Y-e-s!n
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
81, eirafrss I'm Philadelphia

On Tuesday the Geological Socie-
ty Of philadelphia received from New
York six young giraffes, which have
recently been transported from Afri-
ca. They were shipped from New
York by canal. Notwithstanding the
tiresome effect Of the journey which
they had just undergone, they ap-
peared quite active and frisky, requir-
ing the services Fifteen men TO keep
them under control. They were led
out direct TO the geological Garden.
where they viii be placed on exhibit
ton. The girafles are valued at s.. 600.
and were captured in the interior Of
Africa by a band Of hunters. eompos-
ed of upwards Of one hundred men.
who make it a specially Of securing
these animals. The capturing of
girafes is attended with considerable
expense, as the expedition, which Is
always large, is compelled to pene
trate far into the unbroken wilder
ness. The giraffe is very feet and
has to be run down either by means
Of horses or on foot.
The present collection is consider
ed one of the finest that has ever been
on exhibition in any city in this coun-
try. They are from n year and a
haH to two years old, and average
from six feet to twelve feet in hight.
measured with head erect. They
have not yet attained their Full size.
but their change Of circumstance does
not seem to have impeded their natu-
raj development or to have interfered
with their health. They viii make
quite an addition to the large collec-
ton which is already on exhibition
at the Geological Garden, aud will no
doubt be an object of curiosity and
pleasure to those who may see them.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
AIus,crous 5 enc.

Old Parson Somers, the whilom
spiritual guide Of the gooily people Of
Sunbury, once stated that in the
course offfty years of uninterrupted
ministrations he. had laughed but
three times in the pulpit. Once was
when an aged mother of his congre-
CATION walked suddenly from a sess-
ion-time Zap under the impression,
vividly expressed ere she was con-
scious of her surroundings, that her
little grandson Tommy was stealing
her doughnuts. But the most ludi-
crous scene-that which most COM
pletly upset Uninterrupted while
be was preaching on exchange at
Darlington, and was as follows;
The pews Of the church were OF
that old-fashioneG form, mostly
square and so arranged that the oc-
cupants on contiguous pews often sat
back to back, with only the partition
and top-railing between. There are
but few of them in the country now.
Now it so happened that on the
Sabbath of Parson Somers visit two
elderly deacons, occupying joining
pews, and sitting with their backs
very near together, probably under
the influence of profound meditations
uoon things holy, had fallen fast
asleep, with their heads thrown back
until their two long, carefully bound
queues dangled in close proximity.
Some, piously and kindly inclined
said that the deacons were not asleep,
but were only rapt in spiritual fervor;
but. be that as it may, they were
certainly oblivious of surrounding
things. and thus fell into trouble.
In a third pew, eornering upon the
pews Of the deaccns, sat ayoung man
depraved and wicked: and what does
this sacriligious sinner do but take
the dangling queues aforesaid and tie
them firmly together. And then, to
complete the sun Of his iniquity, be
took a pin and r~emorselessly stuck
it into the shoulder Of the nearest
deacon.
OF course the deacon jumped, as
any one would have been likely to do
under the circumstances.
And it will not be wondered at
that the other deacon was caused to
jump also.
"Let go my hair!" cried deacon
number one.
LET go my hair! vocifera.ed lea
con number two.
"0h
LET 60, / sayl"
1t was a twitch and twitch, bump
and bump, with groans and cries in
termingled, until the two unfortunate
mel arrived at a full consciousness of
their situation, and then
But we leave the rest to the readers
Imagination, trusting only hat be
will not deem it impious on the part
of the good old parson that he fairly
laughed on the odd occasion.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
Hove Affairs in North Carolina.


A North Carolina exchange reports
that a frightful revenge was taken
by a rejected lover in its locality one
night recently. The youth, whose
name is JAS. Goforth, had been court
ing Miss Susan Poindexter. and as
she fatty rejected his offer, he gre =
frantic, and ran up and caught her
ear in his teeth. Her shrieks soon
brought all the family to her assist
ance, bnt the girls father had to
insert thepot-hooks between Goforth's
teeth, and make the old woman hit
him in the head with the door-pin be-
fore he could be made to loose his
hold. The ear was so mutilated that
DR.. Baker, who was called in. had
to cut it of, and he now has it pre-
served in alcohol, where the curious
may call and inspect themselves
The same veracious journal SAYS
that a youth of seventeen summers
wooed and won a lassie Of thirteen
years in Cleveland county, but her
parents opposed the match. An
elopement was agreed upon for Thurs
day. but the young lady was struck
by lightning on Wednesday evening,
and the marriage was postponed I'M
I'll the following Sunday, when the
couple "streaked it, for South
Carolina, and were made one.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
The Benefits Of Shade.

Ia planting fruit-trees, aim to have
them so that the hot, dry sun will not
have full effect on the ground about
the roots. Many who have trees in
gardens, plant raspberries under them.
The partial shade is good for the rasp-
berries, and seems to help the trees.
Blackberries would no doubt de well
in the same situation and the finest
strawberry bed we have is on the
northern side of a row of appletrees,
by which is is protected from the
rays of the MONDAY sun. The
gooseberry and currant also do well
in partial shade and, indeed, if
your soil be light and sandy, they
cannot be grown advantageously
without more or less protection from
the sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
A Model RetractLon-

4 correspondent of the Salt Lake
Tribune makes the following ample
apology for a statement previously
published; II see by your paper
that a woman by the name of Beal
has become wrothy at her name hav-
ing been mentioned in the paper.
But what she most objects to, is that
your correspondent said she knocked
down with a rock while at prayers.
| have investigated further, and find
that | was mistaken. / therefore res
tract this much: She couldn't ha We
been knocked down, and the weapon
used was not q rock, but a lump OF
dirt or adobe; and to say she was at
prayers is an insult to the Deity; she
is not q praying woman"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
From, HAP TO Pasture.

Stock at this season Of the year re-
quires as much attention as in mid
winter. True, they viii not eat so
much hay, but if allowed to cater for
themselves, as is the case in many
instances, they will pick from early
morn until late evening, and with all
of their industry obtain a very in
di fferent living. The consequence is
they lose flesh, and in a week or two
they become spring poor, and the
whole bountiful grass season is re-
quired to put lesh on them, when by
feeding a little at a time, but often,
they will not fall away, and when
the pastures r good they will con-
tinue to thrive the whole season.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
An Old Rat.

The following rat story comes from
Massachusetts,.
After a shower, a few days since, a
number Of rats were seen to 90 down
the roof of the old Cove and Hattie
way Hotel, West Brookfeld, TO the
caves trough to drink. A party
watching their movements counted
twenty-one, and among them an old
rat with five young ones approaching
the spout, the old mother holding a
straw in her mouth, and the five lit
tie ones each holding the straw and
being led in this manner to the edge
and placed in a TOW. The old one
took the first one, winding her tail
around II, and letting it down to the
water, and then placing it 10 theright
in the row Of small rats. Then she
took the one on the left, aud letting
it down to drink, placed it to the
right again, and so on with the whole;
after which, they all took hold Of the
straw, and the mother, with the straw
in her mouth, led them back 10 their
hoia
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26

AT the review of the Fifth Mary
land Regiment at Long Branch on
Thursday, the President, Governor
Parker, of New Jersey, and a numer-
ons staff of ~subcbiefs, in gold lace
and epaulettes, occupied a little sum.
mer arbor, where the band of the
hotel plays in the afternoon, and un-
der the pressure Of so many heavy
weights the flooring gave way and
dropped the whole party two OF
three feet. Instantly rallying from
this abrupt descent, Governor Par
ker observed: 81 hope, Mr.. Presi-
dent, this is your platform that has
broken down and not mine.n The
President, holding on to the railing
with both hands, after lis sudden
let down, replied that "Any platform.
Governor, that you and / attempt to
stand on together would certainly
break down" 1t was considered a
good shot for the President.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26

A youny mechanic saw an over.
coat in a South street clothing store,
which he thought he would be glad
to possess at a reasonable price.
How much :" he asked.
"Twenty-one dollars" was the an
swer. The usual haggling took
place, and the mechanic started TO
leave the store.
"How much you gif?" asked the
merchant.
"rhree dollars
Take it, then. | shall shust be
ruin of myself. / only make two
dollars on dat coat, so help me
gracious
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
ARelIsh for breakfast or Lunch.

Take a quarter of a pound Of
cheese, good, fresh; cut it ur in thin
slices and put in a spider, turning
over it a large cupful of sweet milk:
add a quarter Of a teaspoonful Of drv
mustard, a dash of pepper, a little
salt and a piece as large as a butter
nut; stir the mixture all the time.
Have at hand three Boston crackers
finely powdered or rolled. and
sprinkle them in gradually as soon
as they are stirred in, turn out the
contents into a warm dish and serve.
1t is very delicious.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26

A young man W he Nis uossed
love attempted suicide recently by
taking q dose of yeast powder. He
Immediately rose above his trovbles.
Cast iron dish cloths are advertis-
cd by a Maine hardware may.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26

Why is a lawyer the worst sleeper
IN the worldg Because be 6rst lies
on one side, and then be lies on the
other and he is wide awake all the
time.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
JfiseeLIaneons.

DR.. j. walkers OaillOfnla VIM
ecar BitterS arc a purely Vegetable
pTeparation, made chiefly from tho ma
live herbs found on the lower ranges OF
Tic Sierra Nevada mountains Of Califor-
MIA. tic medicinal properties OF which
are extracted thcrefrom without the use
Of Alcohol. The question Is almost
daily asked. "What is the cause q the
u~nparaleled success Of VINEGAR BIT
TEi.s?n Our answer is, that they remove
tho cause Of disease, and tho patient re-
covers his health. They are tho great
blood purifier and q life-gIving principle,
4 perfect Renovation and ~Invigorator
Of the system. Never before N the
history Of the weird has a medicine been
compounded possessing the remarkable
Qualities Of VINEGAR DITTERs in healing the
sick Of every disease man IS her 10. Ihey
arc a gentle Purgatiyc as well as a Tonic,
relieving Congestion or Inflammation OF
the Liver and Yisceral Organs IN Bilious
Diseases
The properties of Dr.. WALKER's
TfSEGARBITTERs arc Aperient, DiaPhorete,
Cayminative, Nutritious, Laxative, DIurete,
Scdative, Counter-Irritant SudornIc, Altera'
tive, and Anti-Blious-
R. II. MCDONALD & CO..
Druggists and Gen. Agts, San Francisco, California,
and cor. Of Washington and Charlton Sts, N
Sold by all Druggists and Dealers.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
MADEMOISELLE DE COURCELLE, Resi-
dent French Teacher.

MADENOLSELLE DE COURCELLE, Resi-
dent French Teacher.
This School Is situated on an elevated point in q
retired healthy part OF the Mountain City" at
the former residence OF the Daughters Of the late
James. w. Jones. Of Cumberland. The ample
grounds, by whichit is surrounded, will be apprO-
priated to and afford every facility for outdoor ex-
ercise. The large and well ventilated rooms are
admirably adapted for Dormitories and School
rooms, and no pains will be spared to make all as
comfortable and attractive as possible 10 the pu-
pills. Only such rules viii be enforced as are nee
essary to their improvement and happiness, and
as will promote a healthiuland Christian training.
Great care has been taken in the selection Of
Teachers Of acknowledged reputation and expe-
rience.
Every facility is furnished for the requirement
of a finished French and English edUcati0n,-
French being spoken inthe home circle. A punet-
ual attendance at the opening Of the School is re-
quested.
Scholastic year will commence Sept. It'll, and
terminate towards the end Of June. aug12
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
Best yy0PExlslen

Win be employed. The public are respectfully
invited to cali AMI examine his stock.
sep. Q, II.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-08-26
BEST WORK MEN
REPAIRING AND PAINTING

Done in a neat andsubstantlaI manner. and at the
shortest notice. He Is determined 10 do all his
work in such a manner, and at s1ch prices as to
make IL TO the interest of everybody TO patronize
him Call and examine his work before purchas-
ianSs d.. J. HoRNER.