The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-02-13
THE sncRErs OF THE GRANGE.

THE SECRETS OF TIE GRANGE.
An Initiation of the Patrons of Hus-
bandry.
The Randolph EnterpriSe of last
week published the following ac.
count Of Granger's initiatory cere-
mony:
On being brought into the ante.
room Of the lodge (Greengrocers
Temple, No. 1O1), was told that 1
had been balloted for and accepted.
My informant, who was securely
masked by what 1 afterwards learned
was large burdock leaf, perforated
with holes for the eyes, told me that
| if valued my life it would be ne
cessary for me to strip. AS 1 did
consider that Of considerable worth
to me, and as he italicized his wishes
by carelessly playing with a seven
shooter, l withdrew from my gar
ments with eagerness. Ny masked
friend then furnished me with the
regalia of the first degree-caHed
''The Festive Plow-boy'-Which
consisted merely of one large cab
bage leaf attached to a Waist-band
of potato vines. In this airy cos
tune was conducted to the door,
where my companion gave three dis
tinct raps. 1 was securely blind
folded by binding a slice Of ruta-
baga over each eye. A sepulehral
voice from within asked: ''Who
comes?"
Ny guide answered: "a youthful
agriculturist who desires to become
a Granger"
Sepulchral Voice-"HaYe you
looked him carefully over~
Guide-"I have, noble gate
keeper"
S. V.-Do you find any agricul-
tural marks about his persong
Guide-"I do"
s. .V.-''What are they?"
Guide-"The candidate has car
roty hair, reddish Whiskers and 8
iturnup nose"
S. V.-"'Tls well. Why do you
desire to become Granger?"
Guide Answering for candidate)
"That 1 may be thereby the better
enabled to harrow up the feelings OF
the rascally politicians"
S. V.-'You will bring in the can
didate. Ny worthy STRIPPING, as you
cannot see, I will cause you to feel
that you are received at the door on
the taree points of pitch-fork,
piercing the region of the stomach,
which is to teach you the three great
virtues-Faith, Hope and Charity.
Faith in yourself, Hope for cheaper
| farm machinery, and Charity for the
lightning rod peddler. You will now
be harnessed, and in representation
of the horse, Pegasus, viii be tested
as to endurance and wind"
(The candidate is here attached
to small imitation plow, by meana
of a hempen harness. A dried
pumpkin-vine is put in his mouth
for bit and bridle-he is made tc
get down on all fours, the guide sci
zes the bride, and urged on by
Granger armed with Canada thistle
which he vigously applies at the ter
minus ofthe spine, the candidate is
galloped three times around the
room. While making the circuit
the members arise and sing:
Get up and dust you bully boy
/ Who wouldn't be Granger?
| If the thistles prick don't cause you JOY,
To feeling you must be estranged, ali!
/ After this violent exercise he ii
rubbed dry with corn cobs, bees
waxed where thistled, and brough
up standing before the Great Chic
.I-the Most Worshipful Pumpkin.
/ Head"
M.W.P.H.-aWhy do you desir'
to be a Granger?"
Candidate answering for himself
-"That l may learn to extinguisI
, sewing machine agents"
BT. W. P. H.-Have your hand
tbeen hardened with tOil?"
r Candidate3aNot extensively, bu
r then 1 am not running for Office"