The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1874-02-18


tentively. Let's take drink and l
will sign your certificate at once
at L>~~
A, class Of four boys, about sixteen
years of age each, in Lansing, whose
teacher was absent, we're turned over
to the tender scrutiny Of an cid Pro-
fessor who was neither loved nor liked
by the class. 1t is the practice in this
school to appoint one in each class
treasurer, whose duty it is to collect
the pennies and keep the records of
the class. The Professor, therefore,
handed small card to one of the boys,
saying, II appoint you treasurer. to.
day" The boy looked at the card,
and, handing it to his classmate, SAID.
81 pass" The second boy also NUT.
tered II pass" on receiving it as he
passed it over to the third. No. 8
said, II turn it down" and handed it
to the last boy, who, hahding it back
10 the teacher, remarked, TI can't
make it" The training those boys
get at home is one of the things Lhe
doctor done comprehend. JIG VII
A clerk in rural town had pet
calf which he was training up in the
ways Of an OK. The calf walked
around very peaceably under one end
of the yoke while Mr.. Clerk held up
the other end but in an unfortunate
moment the man got the idea of putting
his own neck in the, yoke, to let the
the calf see how it would seem to work
with partner. This frightened mis-
ter calf, and elevating his tail and his
voice he struck dead run for the
village, and mister clerk went along
with him with his head down strain
ing every nerve TO keep up, and crying
out at the top of his voice: ''Here
we come, dang our fool souls; head us
somebody" =.
Mr.. Carpenter, of Marquette, Mich,
had no idea that he was about to
create an atmospheric disturbance
when he knocked the ashes out of his
pipe on the head of powder keg.
And when fellow work man conveyed
all that was left of Mr.. c. to his wife
in bag, she quietly remarked, "Just
his luck ! Hang him up in the wood.
shed where the cats won't get at him
till night" ~ ~
A Boston paper says: "If the gates
of heaven were suddenly to swing open,
and all mankind be asked to enter on
equal terms, don't you know some peo
pie who would pause to see what other
people were going to do about it, and
Others who would draw back for fear
the celestial city was getting vulgar,
and some who would refuse itN Ntogeth-
er, if they saw the so.and so 8 about to
enter % '.0 ..l--ao 7i, b'-1 I.'t
A gentleman rather suspected some
one was peeping through the keyhnle
ofAhis Office door. He investigated
with syringe full of Pepper sauce, and
went home to find his wife had been
cutting wood and chip had hit her
in the eye. .... ..,
A New Haven editor spent last Sun
dayin SlawsOn, and attended church.
When the contribution box came round
he was in a doze, but on being nu lged
hastily explained, "I'have pass.
On very pretty girls saying to
Leigh Hunt, 81 am very sad, YOU see, .
he replied, ooh, no; you belong to the
other Jewish sect-you are very fair,
| see"
An Irish lady thus advertises Lost
"a cameo brooch, representing Venus
and Adonis on the Drumeonda road
about ten o'clock on Tuesday evening.
According to the decision of Del
aware debating society, The meanest
kind of man is he who sets a trap
gun in hen-roost or candy store.
A candidate for the position of hang,
man in Englan, recently offered tc
hang . convicted murderer free Of
charge to show his proficiency.
He is happy whose circumstance:
suit II temper; but happier is be who
can SUIT his temper to any circum
stances.
Schoolmaster-what is nothing
Boy-It's when a man asks you tc
hold his horse and inst saws 'thank