The Hawaiian gazette., 1874-10-28
variety.


The less men think the more they talk.
Job boiled over when his patience gave way.
A man who has 10 mind will not change it
A polite way of putting it: Troubled with q
chronic indispOsiton to exertiOn.
Bored yet happy girl with her first pair Of
earrings. She was Al the camp meeting. w
When Maryland doctor spells it "accufor-
tus," is il any wonder that patient dies on his
handss 81
is the candidate for sheriff here p asked a
stranger, as he looked into an illinois bar-rOOm.
"Yes,-why 2" answered eighteen men, as they
rose.
The intelligent cOmpOsitor who published Rev.
JohH Brown rs n :. lnseed" preacher probably
meant thar be had an oily delivery.
When a man reminds you that yOn owe him
lust make note lii, de will take more inter
est in the matter ifyou humOr him in that way
Professor Agassiz having said that Niagara
will run dry 10 nineteen centuries, the Niagara
hackmeu have raised their fares in consequence.
Teacher. Peter. you are such bad boy that
you are not ct to sit IN the company Of good boys
on the bench Come up here and sit by me,
sir
A negro insisted that his race was mentioned
in the Bible. BE said be heard the preacher
read about how niger Dsmus wanted to be
bora again"
Definition Of wateringplace that will be ap-
preciated by many summer loungers-~ 1t is as
dulles cemetery, aud pretty lively with mOsqui
toes" N
Il wonder if it's sea-sickness that makes sail
ors always heave up anchorslr exclaimed Aunt
Hepzibah, as she looked ihoughtfully up from her
morning paper.
" See" said sorowing wife, " how peaceful
the cat and dog are " Yes said the petulaut
husband. bot tie them together and then see
how the for will fy."
The Milwaukee lSs,iiHel says: "Whatis want
ed IN Kansas is more telegraph poles, or stronger
ones The ave1age pole holds only about four
horse thieves comlOriably.
Can YOU do the landlord in the Lady Of
Lyousg'" said manager 10 a seedy actor. :"
should think l might" the answer " l have
done great many landlords"
A Minnesota minister who said that the grass
hoppers we're plagueeeut 10 punish the Changers.
is coming east 70 6Od another pulpit They
could not believe him.
With a sardOulc grin, Wix poured some musci-
lage into his empty hair-oil bottle, yesterday.
and this morning the hair Of one of the servant
girls was stuck 50 tight that she could not shut
hermoutb A4t
A Big Indian" strayed away from his camp
and got lost Inquiring the way back. he was
asked if be vas -lOs, No" said he, disdanful.
ly, Indian no lost wigwam lost r Striking bis
breast, he exclaimed. IndiAn here y
Bayard Taylor has discovered an interesting
correspondence between an Egyptian QOeen and
q mau Of the royal household named Joseph.
which be will not publish without the consent of
the authors.
How doctors will disagree. Or. Max Muller
swears by his reputation that the relics found by
DR., Schleimsnn at sncieut Troy are non Homeric.
II Is too bad 10 have the lat.ers relics discredited
when be bad so much trouble to Priam-up.
Are the Jones back ~ inquired Mrs, Spill 1
kius, who hasn't been out of town all summer I
Yes'm." replied the cook, "aud Mrs Brown
and the children got home from Saratoga this 1
morning Then, Mary, you may open the front
shutters" continued Mrs. s. "and say that
we've returned too.'-N. Y. CousHeraGL
Ell. Weston, the funny man OF the Lancaster /
N. H. Republican. submits the pronunciation /
Of Erastus Richardson as being test whether
a mau is drunk or not Bassus RssOn," he
says, won't do.
The Chief Of Police Of Knoxville, wears three
diamOud studs, diamond pin and a diamond
ring, aud the Knoxville papers are jsst mean
enough TO want to know how be got 'em on q
salary OF sgos per year.
An Old gentleman went into the Office Of one
Of papers in ST. John, n. B., The other day,
and presenting a slip cut frou London paper.
announcing the death Of well known person in
ST. John, ssksa TO have il inserted "as there
are great many friends Of his here who would
like to hear Of his death"
A Chicago reporter went to party the other
DAY and was good enough TO remark the next
morning, that certain young lady bad tSe small
est waist in the noon. There Is no sense in get
ting Eraihful with the young man; the other
girls killed him The next day, and they made him
grsve where the sanbeans rest
A young lady on The tain waved her haudker-
chief at the devil " 10 the Oregon City Enter
prise of5cs, and the yOeug imp has been Deariy
orazy ever since. he has written her name 90
the suow-whits walls Of the ofEce from floor 10
ceiling. ard On every Blank Sheet 10 DE sanctsn,
and on being reprimn0ded. SHED shooting
stick 81 the foreman. he has pied col
umn Oftype, and stood O0 bis head 10 the ink
keg at The sane tine sryiag 70 balance "ga-
ley Of i've matter on each foot. -