The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1874-05-07

AHuuWsM 91"9"I
THURSDAY ......-..'''''''
youpr Lady ON Marriage.
sY MISS Fly. rARNELt.
from the Paris American ReStster.l
Don't marry All sptel.cc'ua' a'"u.
man who mas read everything unuel 'ne sun'
LA LA ,shnse conversation sounds like book
aa.,r,s cat,Iopue read out aloud. The man
sho breakfasts with seven newspapers W
ron, Of him, propped up on his cohceeProts,
hines with pale anthology on one sioc v, ,,,nr
1,late and animal physiology on inc s,, ham
and goes to sleep over Comic ana ~. tostes
AZ yJeuel and Kant, according ~ n,s far
s,or d;rect the man who writes "it~ 'b;oh
scientific and philosophical inasu1 ,,ndnr
~n,,o satisfactorily every pfoo'e'n 49, "
SOW a'J heyond it, yet which, strange 10
sne sur ara msually declined with thanks; thS
man who has apparently swas,oWeu WY
E,c,xloppdlia Britannica by M'stahs ~,
niece of barley sugar when cn.,u, W.
corrccts your grammar and your cafes MUS
everybody up by coming out WIN aHu",.
sitv Of erroneous information aooute'e,s,
thing in dosmatic and srandiose "SH' w.. "h i,a
tells professor Of ancient history sna. IN
should read his Tacitus over again, ao In in
titles the scanning OF LAIN S $500 sc,,a.
ESar clio has inst published m ertsdile "oIH
20 nron,;t;e>. the man who seeS up
snhora,orv i'm his own house, ana coiieoS
t"o,IeS fossils. weeds, old CONS, she.ss'
SelIr.fisb. bones, parchments, Nenuses. "ttn
the;r noses dextcrously broken od, ana o'o
masters smoked up a chimney. Inc @iaA
who talks eyerlastingy OF progressive uc
y.lonme,t. self.cuture, the gospel Oh lne
fnture the per fectiUilty Of society, the tHeoi9
~ the Absolute. and other still teSs iatelii-
-,;hle doc,riucs the man who mana'eSts n's
1svo,ion TO YOU by lending you large tollos
on hsarr Subjects TO read, with the pages aii
1,ucnt and which you have to return, LOOK
;ro aS If they had been carefully perused; the
man who, worst Of all, instead OF sehaihs
rou bon,ons at New Year, SENDS you-a
book. Happy you. if on the dy-leaI De not
inscribed the dreadful words, 50 WIN the
kipdest regards and the best WISHES u Tue
author. ,,,o, ,,
The worthy young man IS me pet % 9 9I
ladies and The salvation Of wall-fo~er>. he
comes toan evening party in thick boots and
. frocl.coat. is overwhelmed with confusion,
and sticks in the doorway for an hour, where
everybody tumbeS over him. Finally, nav
ing summoned up courage to ask you 10
dance. and YOU having been foollShty good
Dat,red enough TO consent, he either treads
s,n your toes ut every lupgc or lands you
neatly on the back Of your head before
the ewes of some triumphant rival. BE
Sptcbes YOU coffee ice, which you ali
hor, when you have asked for va
nilla one. and upsets it over your ne"
ball dress, from Worlh'S. He comes 10
zee YOU the next afternoon, to renew his
apologies, and spills his cup OF tea over your
sora and carpet. He treads on the paws OF
rour leyeret.e, and sits down in the lap OF
4be person behind him. He has the most
intense fear Of the ordeal Of leare.taking, ana
ATS five mortal hours in your drawing
room from sheer timidity. he models his
npiniors on yours, and, Ike the love-
Smitten baronct in Middlemarch, says,
AIes, precisely," to every word you
utter, till you long to say that the
Earth goes round the moon, or that potatoes
grow on cherry trees, to obilge MN 10
dissent from you. He is awtully good, and
meek and humble; so you pity him 100
much TO make fun OF hin, but don't let pity
carry YOU too far. How you would blush
for his qqucheries, and be ready to sink into
the earth at his faux pas if you were respon-
sible for him in any way. AS rule, the
worthy Young man remains bachelor, not
being able 10 get any one to take him, or else
he marries in remote country places in Eng
land, or in the wildS OF America.
Don't marry the punctual man. l have
lived with many sorts Of disagreeable peo-
ole, and here give it as my decided opinion
that punctual persons are the most disagree
able know OF. After having stayed month
with very punciual family found that
looked at least five years older than did pre-
yiousy. My hair-pins and buttons always
went wrong just as the breakfast and dinner
yongs sounded. 1t always turned out that
had kept the whole family waiting exactly
three minutes and half by the clock. The
playful Late, as usual" was always le-
yelled at my unlucky head, with glances of
mild reproach from those who took the matter
more seriously. My days were spent in the
agonies of perpetual scramble and heart
beating, and my nights were haunted by a
dreadful! noise OF bell-ringing ia my ears,
and visions of all my most necessary articles
of toilet scudding away and vanishing into
distant corners, or changing themselves into
all manner OF unheard-of and unwearable
objects before my frantic eyes. All! II was
q blessed day when left that house; and,
1dhC LILY WOlu lot t3 IL yoh An"AAJ " pN.S
fual man you will be gray before you are
thirty; you will never be able to reform him,
for punctuality, like telling people their
faults in a Christian spirit, is all lncurabie
virtue.
Don't marry the lively man. The man
who is irrepressibly, distressiDgly, crush
ingly talkative and good humored don't
know what your feelings may be, but, Tor
my part, a man Of overfiowing good spirits
makes me feel In half an hour as II had
been grated on nutmeg CRATER, ruoped
Through sieve, pounded in mortar, ooiled
down, and strained through a jelly bag. His
yiyacity depresscs me, his witty sayings az
.prayate me, and the necessity OF listening
nppreciuting, and throwing back the ball
drives me mad.
Don't marry man who praises everybody
ND to the skies behind their backs. He.does
it In order that it may be repeated to them
It il cheap, sneaking way of making
friends.
Don't marry "drawing.room man.
The man who spends his days in paying Wis.
Its, sossippipg, talking scandal, and telling all
the newest stories. Everybody likes him,
for there is no evil or ridiculous thing your
neighbor has done that he doesn't know.
Everybody fears him, for each word that
fllls from your mouth will be retaiied by
him in the next house be goes to, not with.
out emendationS and additions. There is no
more contemplate creature on Gods earth ;
and nine men out of every ten you meet in
a large city belong to the type.
Don't marry man who dimes out great
deal Diners.out are like cats; they get at