Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-12-03
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

~ CHINAMAN IN M&SSaCnuSStIS VINO
lost his cue by scalp disease felt that
he couldn't count anything in this world,
and committed suicide.
KEROSENE is retailing at ten cents per
gallon in some of the Eastern cities. If
| rightly used gallon would lay out
twenty-one hired girls, which is less than
half cent girl
NOTWITHSTANDING the notorious d.
menslons of the shoes worn by st. Louis
women, slanderous Louisville journal
| says those interesting creatures insist on
/ calling themselves the down-trodden sex.
JAMES HALLow, of West Dudley, Mass,
labored bard for thirty years to procure
home of his own" Last month, after
those many years Of parsimony, he pur-
chased a farm, settled on it, and died
twenty days thereafter.
THOSE who have been in the United
! States Senate chamber during a heavy
! shower remember that the noise made
| by the rain upon the roof was so great
as to render the transaction of business
]
remedied by the use of lath and plaster
under the tin roof.
IT was in Massachusetts, village that
an old scissors grinder, calling on min
lister, made the usual query: "Any scis-
sors to grind?" Receiving negative
answer it was the ministers turn, which
he took, by asking; care you prepared
to die?" The question struck home.
Gathering up his kit and scrambling for
the door he exclaimed, terror-stricken:
"Oh, mercy! You amt a-going to kill
me, are you?"
OLD PROB. seems to have played a Sc
we're practical joke on the young grass
hoppers in the West. The continued late
warm weather Matched the grasshopper
eggs, and the foolish young things COM
menced skipping about quite lively in
anticipation of pleasant summer cam
paign. In few days the sharp frosts
nipped the life out of them to hopper,
and theyperished, untimely, silly victims
of misplaced confidence
A New BEDFORD clergyman amazed
his congregation the other Sunday by
suddenly leaving his pulpit, trotting
down the aisle, and striding off toward
home. The choir sang, and then there
was an awkward, fdgety waiting. Soon
the pastor shot into the church again,
sopping perspiration from his forehead
with his handkerchief, and read his SER
| mon without explanation. He had for
gotten his manuscript-that was all.
A CLERKS JOKE.-One of the clerks in
a Woodward avenue store yesterday
raised third story window and balanced
a straw man on the sill in such a position
that people across The way were certain
that some one was hanging to the casing
for dear life. In one hour fifty people
entered the store to say that some one
was about to fall from the window, and
most of them passed out of the side
door looking down-hearted in taking
their leave.-Detro5t Free Press
A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE recently went
with young man in the country to the
house of his intended, for the purpose of
uniting the two as man and wife. 1t
seems the bride-elect changed her mind,
and, instead of beng married, heaped
many imprecat1ons upon the head Of her
would-be husband, who, driven to des-
peration, seized her, and holding her by
main force called upon the Justice to
proceed, who refused to do so. The
scene is described as ludicrous in the ex-
treme.-Mag1DOI5G IN. CO. Record.
PRISON architecture has reached the
acme of perfection at Due West, S. G.
They have building there in which
windows and doors are entirely dis
pensed with. The prisoners are hoisted
outside by means of rope and dropped
in from the top. Once in it is evident
that they must stay in a place so won
derfully deficient in egressive facilities.
A captive may have kind friends out
side willing to aid him, but what friend
can secretly bring derrick and rope into
the prison, and, if he could, how or by
whom is it to be worked?
EVERY man who is in the habit of
getting drunk should read this touching,
perhaps truthful, little story from the
Detroit Free Press, and Immediately re-
form: Wednesday afternoon half
drunken man named Croy, living in
Canada, was wandering around the Poto-
mac, accompanied by big dog and hav-
ing lots of money Yesterday morning
he was found in an alley, sleeping a
drunken sleep, and his dog was keeping
watch over him, and would allow no one
to come near until the man shook off his
sleep. The dog had been stabbed twice
with a knife, and there were two extra
hats in the alley, showing that thieves
had come to rob the man and that the
dog had fought them off"
THE Salem On. " Press of a recent
date says: "There seems to be no end
to accidents happening from the prema-
ture discharge of firearms. Not week
passes but we are called upon to record
casualties of this character. The latest
that has come to our knowledge occurred
Tuesday Lewis Richardson, young
MON roo;6;nr, in +hir VILLAGE undertook