American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-11-28
Little Letters.

MATILDA-Good husbands are skarse
so are good wives-and it looks to me
Just now az tho they waz going to be
| more skarser.
Yu kant ketch good husbands bi fish
ing too mulch for them; they are game
fish, and are very pertikerlar about the
bait, and how it IL handled.
There is CRATE skill too in Keeling them
in after they are fairly hooked. Menny
fine fish haz been lost by kareless reel
ing in.
MoRRIs.-I am an advokateo v Fashion,
not bekauZ l luv it for itself, but bekauz
kno it's power, and am anxious to hav it
kept az hi toned az possible.
Fashion controls the acktions ov more
people today than religion duz.
HARRoLD.-The usual substitute for
baby in the HOUSEHOLD liz lap dog, and
have allwuss pittyed the dog:
Dogs luv to run around out doors
nights, sleep in the coal box, hav a
skirmish now and then with some other
purp in the neighborhood, hunt for heas,
and bury and dig up bones on their own
account.
1t liz tuff on dog to be held in the lap
all the time, to be fed with a spoon and
hav hiz ears put up in kurl papers, and
hiZ tail braided-it IL mortal tuf on the
dog, 1 tell yu.
GERTRUDE.-Yu tell me that yu hav
been years at a boarding skool. and hav
just finished yure edukashun and want to
kno what yu shall do next.
Listen, mi gushing Gertrude, and
viii tell yu-
Git up in the morning in good season,
go down into the kitchen. seize potatoe
BY the throat with one hand and knife
with the other, skin the potato and a
dozen more just like it, stir up the buck
wheat batter, look in the oven and see
how the biskitt are doing, hustle around
generally, step on the cats tail and help
yure good old mother git breakfast.
After breakfast put up the yung chill
dren's luncheon for skOol, help wash up
the dishes, sweep sum, put things In
order and sumtime during the day nit at
least two inches and a half on sum one
of yure brothers little blue wooden
stockings for next winter.
In other words 60 to work and make
yureself useful now that yu hav becum
ornamental, and if yu hav emmy time left
after the beds are all made and the duks
hav been fed pitch into the pianna and
make the old rattle box skream with
musk.
Do this for one year, and sum likely
yung fellow in the nabOrhOOd will hear
ov it, and will begin to hang around yu,
and say sweeter things than yu ever
heard before, and finally will give yu a
chance to keep hous on yure own hook.
Yu follow my advice, Gerty, and see If
he don't.
PECK-Mi opinyun ov the lottery biz
ness liz very well developed, and i hav
notissed that putting very little money
to ketch a good deal with haz allwuss
been the plan ov very cunning men, but
not the plan ov very wize men.
Thare liz plenty Ov folks in this world
who, if they buy 500 dollars worth Ov
lottery tickets and draw 375 dollars back,
think they are on the sure road to suck
cess, and this liz Just what makes the
lottery ritch, and keeps the fellow who
invests in it allwuss grOing poorer.
The chances ov drawing a large prize
in lottery liz just about az certain az
the north pole Citing struk with lite
ming.
Lotterys are legalized in sum States,
but they are the very wust kind Nv gam
bling bekauze they are so sekret.
A man better thrO the money into the
fire that he invests in lOtterys, for he
mite git six ov that after while and
quit.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures IL one ov the
virtews, and it amt one ov the least ones
neither.
But thare il certain kind ov hail
Columbia! neatness that makes the pos
SCISSOR ov it and everybody else around
them miZerable.
l hav seen good square Christian
wimmin who would skrub sumthing from
Jan l, 1871, to Jan. l, 1872, and deklare
all the time that things waz too hlthy
for ennything."
| hav known them to git up at four
O'Clock in the morning, and hunt for dirt
hi kandle lite, and keep hunting until
bedtime, and then hav cockrOach mite
mare. or dream haff the mite that the
old hons kat waz in sum kind ov mis-
chief.
If these kind ov wimmin hav emmy
children they wear themself out, and the
children too, tricing to keep the molasses
off from their bibs and following them
around to see if they brought emmy mud
into the hous on their shuZe.
Thare IL no peace and quietness in
houshold ov this kind; every boldly IL
Uneasy, and the kat liz on the jump all
the timc-Josh Billings, an N. 7. Weekly.