The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-07-03
Pith and Point.

Two heads are better that one-es-
pecially in barrel.
WHY is a grain of sand in the eye like
school-master' cane? Because it
hurts the pupil.
Mr.. MAoAULAY once observed that
prize sheep were only fit for candles,
and prize essays to light them.
Gloss of a China packet ship!" ex-
claimed an old lady. "No wonder,
when even iron ones aren't safe"
The Golden Age says that you may
know an old bachelor by the fact that
he always speaks of baby as 8" it,"
A New ORLEANS school boy who swal-
lowed his slate pencil the other day, is
sure to make his mark in the world.
THERE is man up in Westchester
of such a violent temper that he de-
lights in beating carpets and Gaming
chairs.
The Peoria woman who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands grave
few months ago has just married a
lightning-rod man.
THE difference between a tale-bearer
and sealing-wax is, that sealip g-wax
burns to keep a secret, and tie tale
bearer burns to tell one.
WHAT is the earliest financial trans
action on record When Pharaoh re-
ceived check on the bank of the Red
Sea, crossed by "Moses 81 Co."
"PA, do storms ever make malt
liquors?" "No child, why do you
ask 2" because 1 heard ma tell Jane
to bring in the clothes, for a storm was
brewing"
AN Oakland young lady entered o
drug store lately and wanted to see the
papers for week back, and the intel
ligent clerk showed her roll of stick
ing-plaster.
"WHY do you use paint ?" asked a
violinist of her daughter. "For the
same reason you use rosln, papa.
GLOW is that?" "Why, to help me
draw my beau"
AN old maid suggested that when men
break their hearts it is all the same as
when lobster breaks one of his claws
another sprouts Immediately, Il
grows in its place.
"Do bats ever fly in the daytime?'
asked teacher of his class in natural
history. eyes, sir" said the boys,
confidently. "What kind of bats?''
asked the astonished teacher. "Brick
bats, yelled the triumphant boys.
The poultry propagation writes to
"our contributor to ask {: "When is
a hen most likely to hatch?" We have
devoted considerable attention to this
branch of fine arts, and answer unhesi-
tatingly, "When she is in earnest. -
Detroit Free Press.
WE lit the poor fellow at dead of night,
The carcass continually turning,
In order that every side might get its share
OF this now patent process OF burning.
No pelting rain-storm came wetting the pile
OF fagots to which we had bound him.
No Babcock extinguisher deadened the glare
That formed such halo around him.
GAN effeminate man," says recent
writer /" is weak poultice. He is a
cross between table-beer and ginger
pop, with the cork left out; fresh wa
ter mermaid found in COW pasture
with her hands filled with dandelions.
He is teacup full of syllabub a kitten
is trousers sick monkey with a
blonde moustache. He is vine with
out any tendrils; fly drowned in oil /;
paper kite in dead calm. He lives
} like a butterfy-nobody can tell why.
He is as harmless as pennyworth Of
| candy, and useless as shirt-button
without hole. He is aslazyas slug,
and has no more hope than last years
} summer-fy. He goes through life on
tiptoe. and dies like Cologne water,
split over the ground.