Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-10-16
CATCHING A TARTAR.

There were four of them, and they were
young bloods: young bloods! You have
seen young blood lIc is called young
blood because ho bleeds the old man. The
young blood tolls not, neither does he spin
but his head spins once in n while. Well,
there were four of them. It was Sunday
night. They had been out to Rinklo's and
were coming home on the st. Charles rock
road. They sat on two-scated buggy
drawn by dashing pair OF bays. Presently
they came to n large open common ut the
intersection of the rock and the kings high
way.
Here the episode occurred. You have all
seen an episode.
1t is something sudden.
And so unexpected
1t seizes you with an,azoment. Transixes
you with awe. In this instance the episode
nVashed your nose.
A countryman driving home in n lowly
truck wagon drawn by an aged and method
ical gray horse. The young bloods came
dashing up with their prancing bays. Tho
young bloods were boery.
But the countryman had about two drinks
of whiskey in him, and hence had the adj
vantage.
A gill of whiskey has the same amount Of
| fight rs gallon Of beer, aud then it is so
much handler and less cumbersome.
The young bloods drew rein and the
countryman hollered whoa! The y. b. asked
the C. If he could tell them where thoy were
gong,
! The profane C. told them "to hell"
Then one of the y. b. said, you're blank
liar"
At this the countryman laid down his
lines, got out of his truck wagon right into
the middle of the road, and made speech
us follows:
"You ROSTERS has lit on the wrong fence.
just one of you stay in the wagon and hold
the horses and the other three git right out
hore. ken lay all the dust between here
and town with We, Oh! I'm the Teller that
ken keep the flies of. I'm better than any
muskceter bar. just one of you hold them
horses; my old mare will stand without
hltching, aud the balance jist waltz to Jo-
seph right here now. Come onl git out! =
And the Irate countryman announced hi,
firm belief in the canine parentage of the
young bloods. Then he danced and pranc
ed up and down the road and kicked ut the
horses ears and grated his long arms and
threw his SLOUGH hat high in the air Oh
I'm u catamount, am. | like to be stop
ped in the middle of the road, | do. I'm 4
lour-year-old bull PAWN up big clods righ
out Of the ground, | am. I'm u whole me
nagerie of Royal Bengal tigers and Gag,
full of grizzly bears. I've fit in the ring,
have. Git out here! Git out say, and II
} show you where you're goingw
Then three of the young bloods pulled OF
their coats and accepted the pressing invita-
ton. The other sat in the buggy and hell
the horses. lie WIS the lucky one. ii
/ could go and see his girl the next night If h
, wanted to, and not have TO toll her that h.
, hit with the ball. The best place in that vi
, cinity was in the buggy holding tho horses
VOL, the three bounded out. Then til
, countryman set those long arms going, an,
, the three Immediately imagined that the
| hot spell had brought on tornado, accom-
l panied by an earthquake, and cnlivened b
rapid strokes of lightning.
| The countryman seemed to have about fl
1 teen fists.
) "Illtell you whaT you're goin'," he yelled
| rs the first of tho three tried to climb owe
0 tue fence ON his east ear.
| "Thars whnr you're gon'!" he shrioke
I AS the second of tho three executed IL bac
l somersault in the ditch.
I "An' this is the way for you TO travelm h
t yelled, as the last of the three tried to bal
, ance himself on his nose in the middle of tn
. road.
e Then he started for the lucky fellow VIII
G was in the wagon holding the horses, br
y that lucky fellow let the horses go and 60
Q out of the way.
Then the C. made another speech rs TO
lows:
oh! I'm an earthquake. | am. I'm
volcano right from the bowels of the earth
Give me some more nuts to crack Civ
= me room! Give me some raw meat 10 cha'
G up"
t The three slid of behind the fence, dow
y to where number four sat holding the hor,
{ es, ana then slid softly into that buggy, an
: tho buggy slid quietly into town, and the
: the three slid furtively into drug store
J. They had been out to see u baseball mate
) and got hi with the ball They kne
a where they werc going tho balance of thu
y trip. At all events they did got enquire ,
@ any more countrymcn, quietly driving hon
c in their truck wagons.-S. Louis Republ
: can.