Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-10-15
miscellaneous.


reviews.
There are many who cant read
who know A Bee sees.
Early to bed and early to rise viii
all he in vain if you don't advertise.
A common suer-A lawyer. T.
Size is likely to be a drain to his
client.
Peter H.. of Brazil, is said to be
the richest monarch in the world, and
there are many who would like to be
Peter two.
No man can read about all these
burglaries without determination to
have his wife sleep on the front side
of the bed.
A Milwaukee paper says: "What
is wanted in Kansas is more telegraph
poles, or stronger ones. The average
pole holds only about four horse
thieves comfortably"
In Japan the law requires that,
when a person cuts down tree, he
shall plant one in its place. In this
way the supply of wood is kept up.
George Washington owes his cOun-
try tree.
Harry, after looking on while his
new little sister cried at being washed
and dressed the other day. turned
away. saying, "If she screamed like
that in heaven I don't wonder they
sent her off,
One of the meanest little things on
earth is to throw small watermelon
and hit political speaker in the pit
of the stomach just as he is explain
ing the Dred Scott decision.-DetrOit
Free Press.
Said a Detroit lady to q small boy
whom she found crying in the street,
the other day: ''Will you stop crying
il | give YOU q penny" NO" said
he; ''but If you'll make it two cents
I'll stop if it kills me-
Tender-hearted persons who have
read of the fierce raids of Texan
steers through the streets of st.
Louis will he pleased to learn from
the market reports that "there is a
better feeling in Texas cattle"
Henry Eure and his mother-in-law,
Mrs. Wood, who recently gained no.
toriety by running off together from
Portsmouth, Virginia. having got
clear of the courts, have elOped a
second time. Henry Eure fool.
A Western man set fire to the prai
rie for fun, but after he had run seven
miles and climbed tree, with his
pants about all burned off, he CON
cluded the sport was little too vio-
lent exercise to be indulged in often
er than once in a lifetime.
Ii the time ever comes for the eX-
PLANTATION of the mysteries of this
world, we shall be glad to know why
the young man who remarks on leav-
ing church, 81 can preach a better
sermon than that myself" is content
to wear out his life over a counter at
$50 month.
1t having been asked, by one Gu
rious in the causes of things, ''why
twO-thirds of the hotel clerks are
bald" keen observer gives it as
his opinion that it may be "hecanse
the forces of nature have been di-
verted from the scalp to the cultiva-
tion Of supernatural cheek"
A youth asked permission of his
mother to 90 to ball. She told him
it was bad place for little boys.
'Why. mother, didn't you and father
90 to balls when you were yOung?'
''Yes, but we have seen the folly of
it." said the mother. "Well, moth
err" exclaimed the son, Il want to see
the folly of it too
Brief colloquy in Texas between q
tourist and q native :-"My friend,
why is it everybody in this country
thinks it necessary to carry one or
two revolvers?' "Well, stranger"
said the Texan, "yOu mought travel
around here a good long time and not
want weapon, but when you do want
a pistol in this country you want it
bad
| A professional man not far from
State street, Boston, returning to his
Iioffice one day, after n substantial
lunch, said complacently to his as
sistant, "Mr. Peetkin, the world looks
different to a man when he has three
inches of rum in him." "Yes," re-
piled the junior, without 4 moments
hesitation, land he looks different to
the worIdr'