Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-07-25
MISCELLANEOUS.

There were twenty brides at a
Niagara hotel the same night re.
Gently.
Eight hotels of Saratoga have
tho capacity of making miserable
5000 people.
During a hurricane in Kansas a
county treasurer owned up that he
had stolen 81 500 OF county money,
BUT after the wind ssbsided he de-
hFed it.
A greenhorn sat long time very |
attentively musing upon cane |
bottom chair. At length he said:
j wonder what fellow took the |
trouble to find all them ar holes
and put straws around 'emP
A truly happy day-'Wel, Leo
nora, what have you and Harold
been doing at Aunt MabePs today
Had dinner 'And what did you
do after dinnerY Had tea But
what did you do between dinner
and teal? Had some cakeP
An officer in the Washington
Navy yard announces that he has
an old and reliable bunion which
he is DESTROYS Of exchanging for a
modern sort of barometer that will
not get SO excited at every little
shower that comes up.
An elderly clergyman of Chicago.
when asked the other day why he
had never married, replied that he
had spent his life in looking for a
woman who could refrain from
working him a pair of slippers, and
he had never found her.
Just as the Rev. Mr.. Hudson, of
Michigan, had said to his little ru-
raj congregation, Il have found
my sheep which was lost large
sheep thrust it's head into the
church door and began to bleat.
The congregation nearly burst in
attempting to suppress cachination.
If there be any sectional animos-
ity left at tho South it will be am
ply gratified by the announcement
tkat Gen. N. p. Banks is going to
adopt lecturiDg as constant occu-
patton, and is preparing half doz-
en- diseourses wherewith to devas-
cate the Northern States.-N. Y.
Herald.
We have reached the fulfllment
of Patrick Henry's prophecy, that
the States would be swallowed up
by tho General Government, and
have no rights at all; for rights that
depend wholly on the disposition
of that Government to grant or do
ny are no rights at all.-Richmond
Dispatch Dem
There is no chance for peace
Tho cry with the Radicals is Civil
Rights Here is what Harpcr's
Weekly says about it: The ri ght-
full demands OF equal citizenship,
which the Civil Rights bill would
have secured, will be continuously
heard until they are granted.
With fertile imagination and a
keen appreciation of history as a
field in which anything that is
wanted may be found, says the
Saturday Review, Mr.. Disraeli is
never at loss for a theory, and he
is still less at loss for appropriate
rhetoric in which his theory may
be dressed up
A Brooklyn paper makes this al
fusion to the subject of BeeoheT:-
There are circumstances in life
when 'silence' is a fpoultice' that
heals things. There are also cir
cumstances when it doesn't, and
when the 'poultIce' game is about
as idle as a fog-cap would be on the
crater of Vesuvius, to keep the vol
cano from going off 'on its ear
1t is said that DIR. Chalmers once
entertained distinguished guest
from Switzerland, whom he asked
if he would be helped to kfppezsd
salmon. .fire -fUreign divine asked
tho meaning of the uncouth word
fkippered,' and was told that it
meant preserved Soon after the
poor man made use of this newly
acquired expression in a public
prayer, when he offered petition
that the distinguished divine might
long be 'kippered TO the Free
Church of Scotland
Civil Rights conversation in Ma
con between two darkies: Say,
Bill, when dis Civil Right bill
don passed fore Congress, do you
know what Use gwine to do?' NO,
Sam; what yer gwine to dor Use
gwine down to dc Brown House
and take dinner-settin at de Same
table wild dem white folks. And
den I'll set out in front and smoke
my cigar jes as big as any one OF
EN- 'G'way, nigger. If you
'tempts TO eat dinner at the Brown
House bets you eats supper in
h-l.'
o Lordl thou knowest, prayed a
Connecticut deacon, that am affiic-
ted with most impious and de-
PRAYED sen. Thou knowest that he
will swear and lie and steal, and do
all sinful things. Thou knowest
that on the last Sabbath day he
was seen walking down the princi,
pal street in the village, with his
hands in his pockets, whistling the
following ungodly tune: And the
congregation were astounded TO
hear Yankee Doodle flow melOdi.
ously from the deacon's pursed-up
lips.
Still another Detroiter has dis
appeared. Tho Free Press makes
the following confessions: 'Yester.
day forenoon a lady on Jefferson
avenue car handed two-dollar bill
to man near her to hand to the
driver and pay her fare and receive
change. He folded the bill up, put
it in his vest pocket, and deliberate.
ly got off the car and walked away.
The lady was so taken back by his
GOODNESS that she hadn't a word to
say until it was too late to pursue
the fellow, who rates about five de-
grees below a common horse thief.
A smart city billiardist picked
up a countryman and induced him
to play a game of billiards-10O
points. The city boy took the cue
and ran the game out without a
stop. The countryman quietly
laid down his cue and started for
the door. Said the billiardist,-
Here, come back and pay for this
came fWhot araD,aO sold no,,,