Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-04-02
CoNFEpRIr Y RoAps. !
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky
March

CoNFEpRIr ROADS
(Which is in the State nv kcntucky0 !
March H. 1874.
Joe Bigler, the infamus, and Pollock,
wich is worse, hev been at it agin There
is an amount NV deviment in the buz-
zums NV them men wien biles over per-
petooally, and witch kin no more be
stopped than kin fermentashen in cider.
The Corners will hev to rise in its mite,
and kill them two impious wretches in
sef-deiense,
The fact that Mrs. Bascom G.. WIS
wife, hez bin gittin a large assortment of
new cloze in Louisville, and that she's the
only woman in the Corners who hez a
second dress-and it wood be almost safe
TO say the iust one--hez bin taken adj.
vantage NV by these feends to perdoose an
insurreckshen in our otherwise quiet
households.
Issaker Gavitt's wife, Lucindy, and
Deekin Pogram's wife, and his dawter,
Mrandy, happened to be in Polock's
store buyin some pork to bile, when, ea
ill,luck wood hev it, Mrs. Bascom passed
down the street. She he'd on a fur sack
and moo bonnet, and he'd gloves on, and
a mutt, and gold chain, AID she held
her head well up, and he'd ostridge
feather. She wuz gorgeous site for the
Corners.
"See Mrs Bascom, Mirandy,n sed Joe
Bigler, calm the attenshun NV the wimen
to her, ez she went sailin down the street.
They all looked at her. and rage filled
their chaste buzzuns.
Il never he'd buzzum pin," sed Mi
randy, Indignantly.
"Why, amt got no shoes--to say
nuthin NV fur overshoes,' shreeked Lu-
cindy Gavitt
why don't Issaker git 700 shoesg"
asked that villanous disturber, Pollock.
He never hez no money" answered
Lucindy.
"Wat did he do with the money paid
him for his corn, two weeks agoy' wuz
the innocent question NV Pollock
II wuz spark NV fire in magazine.
Hez he sold his corn?" she asked, her
voice quiverin with emoshen.
lie did sell 1t to me two weeks ago.
sed Pollock.
"The ornery cussl Why, he promised
me a pare NV shoes and the baby some
cloZe when he sold that corn"
But, my deer Mrs, Gavitt" sed this
hypercritikle sneak, you know"
jest then Mrs, Bascom was returnin--
he'd to pay Bascom, becoz--by the way,
ther goes Mrs. Bascom agin, and amt she
q stunner?-becoz CIV. he'd to go to Loois-
vile to git his wite's winter outfit, and he
he'd to hev what lssaker owed him"
"And the munney for the corn, witch |
planted, and hoed, and cut, and shucked,
he'd to go to put cloze on Liz Bascom, did
it? Liz Bascom hez cloze, hez shefn
An 10 l,l ,,.,i IA
emoshun, as did Mirandy Pogram and
her mother
And Pollock kept addin fooel to the
flame he he'd kindled.
Here" sed he to Lucindy, is love
ly piece nv velvet witch wood make 700
an elegant sack, and, Lord bless 700, how
this French flannel wood make up into a
dress and cloak for yoor baby 1t does
seem to me as though Issaker and the
Deekin mite let 700 wimmin hev cnuif
money to git 700 sum things 1t seems
pity that Mrs. Bascom shood hev every
thingl"
If there is anything which'll make a
lion out ov a woman its the desire for dry
goods. Pollock knowd this and he played
it onto EN-. He showd EN- dry goods till
they became raving maniacs.
These three misguided wimmen left
that store croosaders--they wuz so many
Jone ov Arks, Thro the mud they went to
Mrs. McPeter's, to Mrs. Elder PENN,
hackers and to the wife of every regler
resident NV the Corners, and they deter
mined to make "A move onto Bascom, and
stop his biznis anyway, SO that the money
spent at his bar could be yoosed in gittin
cloze Tor them and their children. They
| Mt ,l fHnnClDty lagf .1 ft,n
wich they wuz to make the raid. They
arranged a procession, with banners onto
wich they wuz to write: LESS rum
com and set down in his grocery and
compel their husbands not to drink no
more, and Bascom not to sell EN- anything
any more.
There wuz wild forebodins of woe in
Bascom's. g. W. hisself, and Issaker
Gavltt, and Deekin Pogram and myself all
sot with pale faces, dreading this inva.
sion. | am man nv resource. ! adj
wise that bari be rolled out into his
| barn and bar be extemporized there,
where we could get our nips till this cy-
clone shood pass over. This G.. w. con-
sentcd to do, and thus fortified We sot down
and awaited the attack.
Wat military conkerer wuz it that wuz
saved from annihiashen by the weather
gettin SO warm and the yeeldin ground so
1 soft that the enemy coodent move their
artillery? II WIZ a similar interposishen
/ that saved US Toosday mornin broke q
warm end ca pleasant ez May-day The
! sun come out smilin, and it wuz warm
! enuff to 90 barefoot, and the Corners wuz
happy. The pcrceshen wuz to march at
eleven.
1--WE are lost" said Bascom, gloomily.
ooh, that | shood live to see this day -
sighed Deekin Pogram.