Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-06-17
FacetiOus Fragments.

A POPULAR sight-Anthracite.
The last of the Bare uns-Adam and
Eve.
LOUISIANA is just now good locality
for ''watering-place notes.
WHEN colored boy shoots his father
in Georgia, the local papers call it a
disfranchisement."
WHEN deaf and dumb lovers are mar
ried, two members of the wedding party
are sure to be unspeakably happy.
INSTEAD Of saying "It's a long time
mark, cts long time since I signed
my last pledge"
The editor of the London Punch is
said to receive 91 200 a year. Many
other editors get as many pounds, but
not pounds sterling.
A BURGLAR of twenty-seven years
standing has just been converted at In
dlanapOlis, and one can entertain faint
hope that a few congressman will be
saved.
WHEN husband returns home after
a long absence, and hears the parrot
shouting, "Kiss me, darling," as soon
as his wife enters the room, his interest
in " Enoch Arden" naturally begins to
deepen.
Mrs. MARRowFAT has of late been
feeding her husband exclusively upon
oatmeal and dried apples. A terrible
suspicion crosses Mr.. Marrowfat's mind
that his dear Eurydice may be an infa-
ZIONIST.
"OH, what do you think, Mr.. Lilly
brow? The other day I was taken for
twenty-five, and I am only eighteenth
a." Haw! Wonder what you'll be taken
for when you're twenty-five % "For
better or for worse, Ihope!'' Mr.. Lilly
brow looks pensive.
CHARLES WALKER, a negro who was
hung at Thomasville, Georgia, last Fri
day, made on the gallows singular re,
quest. Raising his cap he asked his
friends to pray for the counsel that had
defended him. He then met his fate
with composure.
A FRENCHMAN, recently brought to
book for breaking an engagement,
pleaded in defense that the would-be-
bride passed herself off as % years old,
afterwards owned up to rs, and he had
finally found out that she was, in real
ity 80. Verdict for the defendant.
A GERMAN, who was asked if lager
beer was intoxicating, replied "Vell,
1 thinks from seventy to eighty glasses
a day, und [ feel all straight in mine
upper story for any kind of beesiness,
but can't tell vat it you'd domit man
vat makes swill-tub of himself
A BOY about eleven years of age
fshed off the dock at Detroit for four
hours Sunday, without once leaving his
post. His patience and perseverance
attracted the attention of policeman,
who asked "Well, sonny, catching
any fish % "No, not yet," answered
the boy, "but I've come mighty near
having three or four big bites.
Two young ladies' conversation to
this effect was heard in a Boston picture
dealers store, as they stood before a
piece of marble: First young lady Ge-
ferring to the label on the pedestaD
''This is statue of Psish." Second
young lady embarrassed between de-
sire of correcting her friends pronun-
citation and fear of hurting her feel
ings, very mildly ''I think people
usually call it Sykee." First Young
lady with no intention of being put
down, defantly) "Well, some folks
call it Sykee, and some call it Psish. I
like Psish BEST
ENERGETIC protest in the Louisville
Courier-J ournal !: "A Female Crusa-
der writes from New Albany to accuse
us of making war upon the liquor
sellers What Ue make war upon
heavens last, best gift to the temper
ance cause? Never. We would rather
be toad and bay the moon, or dog
aye full pack of hounds and feed
upon the vapors of dungeon we
would rather be torn to pieces by rag
ing dandclion, or hurled from the back
of an untamed saw-horse-
Fre-eyed and meteor-maned,
Neiehing the realing stars ~