The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-06-07
ALL SORTS.

When fault is discovered it is well to
look up virtue to bear it company.
Men who are born with silver spoons in
their mouths do not always make a stir in
the world.
The Boston Traceler thinks that Collins
Graves is like Noah, because he was before
the flood.
The young man who exclaimed, Give
me but her." was asked if oleomargarine
wouldn't answer.
ParadOxical as il may seem 1t is neverthe-
less true that mnsc is the last pursuit in
which to seek fortune.
Claret will not flow so freely another
season, owing to the scarcity Of fruit IN the
vineyards around Bordeaux.
A wealthy resident of Bloomington, Ill.,,
has secured comfortable quarters for his aged
father in the county poor-house.
The petition that the 10Th Of April, Abra-
ham Lincolns birthday, should be made a
public holiday, has been reported adversely
in Congress.
Yhe happiest news we have had for long
time is the announcement that heavy rains
have fallen in India. This will save thou
sands of lives.
1t is said that human being has seven
millions of pores through which perspiratlon
and exhausted particles OF the system can
escape. We are all pore creatures.
The finding of a hair-pin in an Indiana
husbands pocket procured his wife a di-
yorce. He couldn't explain how it hair
pinned to be there.-DetroH Free Press
There is hotel III Oshkosh that has the
reputation of not having a single bed-bug in
it. The fact is they are all married and
have large famiiies.-Green Bay Adrocate.
The Eastern Firgaian wants to know if
they can't deoderze the civil rights bill lit
tie. How tastes differ, Now, it is "de
odor' we most object to-Richmond Enquirer.
Whenever clerk can tell by the outward
looks Of his customers whether lie wants a
five OF a ten dollar pair of shoes, it's about
time for him to start business on his own
book.
Mr.. Plant, the great flour man, whose
name is borne i'll great respect by house
wives, believes that Texas will be the chief
winter wheat producing State Of the Union
before long.
Theirs is credited with having made a
bon mot consequent upon some one having
said something about the state Of France.
Don't say France" he exclaimed, call 1t
the Duchy Of Magenta"
Western people who desire to aid the
food sufferers ought to realize that a peck
Of corn will 20 further than six bushels of
dressing gowns, smoking-caps and pen
wipers.-Detroit Free Press.
The leading theatres of New York city are
adopting the custom of erecting awnings
over the sidewalk on stormy evenings, and
also have gentleman" in gold lace and
brass buttons to open carriage doors.
Paducah Kentuckiaa: " In spite of the or
ders Of the patriotic Grand Army Of the Re
public, several negroes, melr and women,
strewed flowers OH the graves of the Con-
tederate dead buried at Mound City,"
They have got story out that the Rev.
Mr.. Brooks, OF Arkansas looks like Parson
Brownlow, of Tennessee. 1t was designed
as compliment to each, but, singularly
enough, botfi have got made about it.
Zach. Chambers return to the Senate is
to be holly contested, it is said. His term
expires with this Congress. A convention
of all the elements in opposition to him and
the Republican party has been called for
August 6.
"A Kansas man sent his wife after the |
cows, and she came home dumb as an Oys- |
ter" Noah Count says he knows lots of
married friends of his who will invest in
COW pasture with as little delay as their
finances will admit.
Memphis has received 4l6.5 04 bales of cot |
ton against 392,642 for the corresponding
time last seasOn-an Increase of little over
per cent; Nashville received during the |
two periods 81, 5l7 and 94,722 bales-an in
crease of nearly 81 per cent
1t is the Louisville Courier journal that |
thus combines the romantic with the prac-
teal: at is said that the young Duchess
of Edinburgh speaks with slight Tartar
accent. To her fond husband that accent
must seem the very cream of Tartar"
Peoria doesn't see the necessity of crema-
ton, having hit upon the happy device of
completing the endless circle of nature by
utilizing its cemetery as a sheep pasture
thus enabling it's inhabitants to return to
their muttOns in the most philosophical
manner.
The New York Herald thinks it may be re-
marked as a sign of the times that the
liberal, reformed or progressive Hebrews of
the metropolis are adopting the elaborate
style of church music; and have of late in
troduced MOzart's masses and similar com
positions into their synagognes set. Of
course, to Hebrew words
A FLOWER OF FASHION, Fashionable
milliner: You'll lave the flower on the left
side of the bonnet, of course madam
Fashionable lady: Well-er-no The fact
is, there's pillar on the left side OF my pew
in church, so that only the right side of my
head is seen by the congregation. OF course
] could change my pew! Fashionable lady's
Ya-as. Or even the church, You
know, if necessary. fashionable milliner
considers the point.)
If any lady wishes to grow tleshy, pint
Of milk taken before retiring at night will
soon cover the scrawniest bones Although
nowadays we see great many tieshy females
there are many lean and lank ones who
sigh for the fashionable measure of plump
ness, and who would be vastly improved in
health and appearance could their tignres
be rounded with good solid flesh. Nothing
is more coveted by thin women than a full
figure, and nothing will so rouse the ire,
and provoke the scandal of one Of those :
clipper builds" as the consciousness of
plumpness in rival.
DRIVEN OUT BY GRAssHoPPERS.-It seems