The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-04-11

: Not long AFRO MI Jcnkins's hen pCrpCtratcd 4
) inch cgg, John Collins, Of Freedom, owns
two ambitious hen, that resolved TO beat thi, OF
bust, and they each invented pretty large spcci
mems: one being - and the other So in. Full.
Ter, Of Freedom, communicated this Intelligence
20 his principal business hen, the one he bets on
IN trying timcs-his emergency female chicken
That excellent fowl at once proceeded to bust
ness, and she squallcd a solem squall that shed
lay over them air pcrsumshus hens or her name
wasn't Elizabeth White Bramahw She retired to
her nest and in fourteen minutes came forth and
cackled. She cacklcd loud and VIGOROUSLY.
Fuller knew-by them cacks-that his hen HAD
done her duty. He examined the nest and found
an egg eigh ami a quarter inches one way and ser.
en- and .fse-eightS the other. -. Some men have
queer ideas OF amuscments. There is Peter Rus
sci, for instance. While looking at his new
hearsc on yesterday lie called tou to "comc in,
Becnlus, when you get through looking at that
and see our nice collins and the beautiful new
funeral goods, and notice how nicely we can en-.
grave your name on a coffin platew This made
us feel melancholy, and we went into Bailcy's to
cheer up but bystandcr added to our lonesome
state OF mind by rcmarking, Hello, Bcemus
going to put another nail in your coffin" We
took glass OF water and left A week ago q
couple Of distinguished gentlemen of Ottawa--a
tall lawyer and short clerk-went away from
this city on visit to the hot springs of Missouri
to be gone couple of weeks, or until they came
back, if it should take them all summer They
reached st. Louis On their arrival there they
learned that Mr. Turner, of Chicago. a distin.
pi nj md ,
had died at the hot springs only the day before.
They had their baggage checked for Ottawa with |
instructions to forward the trunks s,5,c. Then
they lounged around st. Louis, Springfield, jolt.
ct, Chicago, and other points, so as TO make it
appear that they had been at the springs but
when asked how they liked the springs and to
describe them, these gentlemen give only vague
scattering and confused answers and seldom
agree in the same details.. We hereby tender
thanks TO the ten hundred and thirty five gentle.
men VINO voted for and elected Us town clerk on
tuesday last, and invite them to any convcn.
cnt place and take something" glass of beer,
'r new hat or anything, and pay for it like men
Mitchell, the restaurant man, asks this very
'la!n conundrum: "What's the use of them fcl II
erS starving in Bengal when they can get
quarc meal at his place for 81 cents :" Rev.
lr. Clcghorn, the Baptist clergyman of this city,
as gone to Champaign on call" This is to
C regretted. We have always regarded him as
temperance man. Any man who will yoluntar {
y abandon a town possessing thirteen artcsan {
'clls that daily spout thousands of gallons of q
urc water each, and where there are two large .
yers, to say nothing Of Cations water works,
ne canal and sid-cut and Fox river feeder and -
Ike Champaign in "his'n,' is "a goncrm. We I
bscrycd at Ed. Thompsoa's a supply of bcauti-
Il 5traw5 for inducing lemonadcs, cocktails and r
tch from glasses into the mouth Hot July 4,
lys would be tedious without these straws, pc
he law giving a bounty on wolf scalps should =
, amended so that no young wolf should be ~
alped for county purposes until the young III. o,
ne whclp shall have been duly born. "Ain't
" Nilligan: Lon. Pierguc has closed ont his =
loon, and hereafter will run his bakery and -.
nfcctioncry, minus the drinks. He wa, MT Cl
aged out either, all