The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1874-01-22
FACTS AND FANcIRs FOR THE
LADIES.

FACTS AND rhNoAHo 10
LADIES.
Glow She Felt is the title of recent
novel The author doesn't state how ne
got his information.
How to become practically acquainted
with the "Rule Of Three"-Live with
vour wife, mother, and mother -in-law
Nav Haven has . female letter-carrier,
but she stops ard gossips so eftsn that she
doesn't get over half her route.
4 minister walked SIX miles to marry q
ourle lately. lie SAID he felt of scat Tee
bill like. The groom saw it.
A woman in a Michigan town tired TO
take out a writ de lunatico drnnko i"quT-
e,.do against her husband but failed on
account Of the high price of Latin.
The Detroit Free Press says: Miss lsa-
bella Beecher Hooker and Susan b.
Anthony are going to travel together
Landlords along the route will please get
hot bricks re,dy.
The Dundee Now York; Record, says
that YOU can't fling brick 10 that town
without biting a dashiug young widow
worth from $1,000 to $4,000. The
Detroit Free Press man has planned to
take Dundee in on his summer excursion.
A Sioux City bachelor got up to let IN
his dog the other night, and the door clos
ed upon him with spring lock. lie walk
ed three blocks in a tropical costume to
find a hotel.
Take u w.ng," gushcl pompoui up
start, extending his ara to a sensible
Young lady, at the ciose Of the prayer
meeting. 'Not of a gan ier,, she quickly
replied, and walked home with her mother
Y,h >r:-----..- papers are giving clrcuia-
ton to the following slanderous lines on
the St Paul commercial! travellers.
Youas la.ies under twenty
Sanula never fi-t Win s Pau drnmne-s.
Because fu.I o tea ,ey vii ind,
ilo>e Lru-n.ners leave loln; wives osEini.
An undecided fellow courtel lady for
twenty-threc wears and item married her.
She turn ed out a perfect virago. but he di
ed in two years after the welding. 'Now,
said he. in a seIf-con5ratulatiny tone. see
what have escaped ny long c9urtshr p"
A young laly from Georgetown cana to
the city the o,hsr day 10 have her picture
taken. When the artist showed her the
"psoof' AMI asked her hos she Tx it,
she plac.dly remarked that he "put too
darned much mouth On it to suit her. y
"WoulJ that | could call her mine ~
e1claim the hopeless suitors for the hand
of the Lady Caroline Guest, of England,
who has an annual income of Sl,50O,OOO
from her coal mine in Wales,
Il don't Ike these Shoes said lady
customer because the solss are too thick.
is that the only objection ?" blandly ask
ei the saleman. "Ies," was the reply.
Then, madam, If you take the shoes, !
can assure you that the objection will
gradually wear away"
The most fcklo Of her sex lives in Oak
land, Culforaia When about to be marri
ed s'le insisted that the ceremony should
be performed in French AID = postpone
ment was had until the nc1t day. A
French minister was then cn hand, and
she thereupon refused to be married at all.
Smith can't see wing his "ife should
object to his staying at the club so late,
simple because he sal | when he came home
tho other ,.-.,t, "Ny dear it's the coolest
year for many rights at fifteen degrees
past ten. the clock stood sixteen Minutes
below freeze"
A protty good story is told of wife
who. finding that her husband, during the
recent financial panic, was desperately in
need Of several hundred dollars, Brought
him more than the required amount in
Unitdd States bonds.
"Why, where in the world did you get
this p said the husband.
"Well my dear, you went to a chamr agne
supper seven years ago, and on your return,
finding navigation around the room rather
difficult, deposited hat, shoas, gloves, and
a large roll OF bank bills on the carpet. l
put the money away and waited three
weeks for you to inquire if had seen it,
when, finding you wer. ashamed tc do so.
! invested it, and here you have it.
A good story is told Of Doctor y. by the
Paris papers. Sent for in great haste, one
day, by the wealthy and fashionable
Duchess A., hs was introduced into the
drawing room where he found the elegant
lady reclining upon sofa, and wiping her
beautiful eyes with lece handkerchief.
Too deeply moved to speak, she pointed at
a pile Of cushions which served as the
luxurious couch of an ugly little monkey.
The animal seemed to be in great suffer
ing. Deeply hurt at being called to
attend a quadrumane, the man OF science
nevertheless approached his patient with
cut any sign Of vexatiou, felt his pulse, sx-
amned birn carefully, and satisfied him
self of the nature OF lis complaint. Then,
perceiving the iady's little boy sprawling
upon the rug at the other end of the room,
he went up to the child. examined him also,
and returning to the duchess, said, gravely:
"Madame, your tro sons are suffering
from Indigestion Hot tea and strict diet
i. all they need" And bowing profound
ly, Docto- Y. made his exit, leaving the
duchess bereft of speech by her stupefsc-
ton.
rrip,;pol Jou in Iopop