The Portland daily press., 1874-10-14
THE PRES S.
WEDNESDAY MORNING, OCT. Ia. IA
Gossip and Gleanings.

A dentist in Wisconsin, who kissed young
lady while filling her teeth, was called on by
her father with shot gun. He paid the par
ent $500 not to fire, being extremely sensi-
tive to noise.
The chorister of a colored choir learned that
white acquaintance was member of the
Handel and Haydn Society. The next time
they met, the chorister made several inquiries
respecting the society, and finally said, "Spose
Handel and Haydn are both dead" eyes,"
replied his friend, a little surprised. "Must
have been heavy blow to the society,"" The
effect can be better imagined than described.
Boston Irdueler.
Prof. Max Muller assured the Lord Mayor
of London, at the recent banquet to Oriental
lists, that Dick Wilmington must henceforth
be taken out Of children's story books. The
Professor said there never was such boy
that the bells. never pealed forth,
Turn agaiu, Wilmington, -.t ..t...,l
Thrice Lord Mayor Of London town.
There was no cat! that the whole was but
Persian story.
Rossini had favorite provision merchant.
One day the latter rather bashfully said to
Rossini, ''I have for long time wanted to
ask you favor" 'sName it," said the
Maestro. "It is" replied the merchant,
"that you will give me your photograph,
with few words under it," 'Willingly,n .
responded Rossini, and he took photograph
from his pocket-book, and wrote under it.
''To the friend of my stomach" aura-
One Of the Georgian Congressional candi-
dates is described as "well-formed and highly
impregnated with nervous ganglia; he has
mysterious sunset somber about his face;
his eyes have dreamy sparkliness that en-
chants like amulets; and his entire organiza.
tion consists of a delicate telegraphic net
work that transmits the nervous fluid like
lightning through his whole SYSTEM" No
opposition. .s
A Genesee county man, who wanted to 90
out on the train yesterday, but missed it
walked up and down the depot in high
state of excitement, berating himself and ev-
cry one else. II know just what my wife
will sayP he exclaimed, as he walked up and
down. when that train gifts thar and she
don't see me, she'll git right up and jump
over chairs and smash crockery and swear
that Pm off on another drunkw
Dining is mighty delicate business. Did
it ever occur to you that nature gives us no
second chance at dining, and if you make a
mistake in ordering your dinner to-day, it is
a mistake which can never be corrected? 1t
adds terrible pang to bad dinner to look
back upon it and reflect, as every thoughtful
person must, that the mischief is irreparable
Life is so full of these fearful responsibilities,
which can neither be evaded nor shared with
another.-Boston Transcript.
Apropos of the Tyndall-Darwin theories
comes in one of General Schenck's latest sto-
ries that he told to the wife of a British Cabi-
net officer who assured him that England
made America all that she ISL "Pardon,
madame" said the General; '.you remind
me ofthe answer of the Ohio lad in his teens
who, attending Sunday school for the first
time, was asked by the teacher, "Who made
you?" 'Made me?" "Yes." .sWhy, God
made me so long (holding his hands about
ten inches apart but growed the rest.