, 1874-07-26

| the cowcatcllcr of q locomotive, upon which sh
had been caught and carried half mile, eh
| EAid with feeling, - Was jest 6coopeu up hk
| gosh almighty, wasn't I ?"
| A thief running away is q scamp, but tht
poIiceman's chaso after him ia scamper.
a man went ont the other night TO see if ht
could ascertain tho color OF tho wind, and fount
it blow.
Engaging candor-Papa-"A And pray, sir
what do you intend to settle on my daughter.
| and how do you mean to l1Ee!" Intended"
| intend, Sir, to ecttla myself on your daughter
| and to 1.-Two on you!"
A young lady came to tho city the other day
to have her picture taken. When the artist
| showed her tho s'proof." and asked her how she
liked it. shc nlacdly remarked that he "put toe
darucd much mouth Gu it" to suit her.
| Oh the s1eeter, the beautiful skccter, filling
the air with nlelodious metre. Under our bat,
| aud tickling our nose, taking bite through a
| holo in our clothes; in through the window,
! opening the door filling our chamber and Sing
ing the sweeter, ever is found the untiring mus
| keeter.
| The trade Of q tanner seems, for some Tea-
son or another, to conduce to political prom
| inence. Our good President and our new Post
master General shining examples OF this,
ard even IS far back as the Roman days wa have
Ciccros evidence that Quosque tand 'enl.-NeD
York Commercial.
The proposed new Constitution Of Michigan
does not make it lawful for man to kill sew
lng-nachiuo pcddior or . lightninc-rod man.
However, tho citizcns lind a sort Of satisfaction
in tho reelection that it says nothing against
keeping 4 ferocious bulldog tied with q weak
chain, and no jury in tho land would convict you
If the dog happened to get loose about the time
one Of these ca1.1e around.
-"Yes, SIR said 4 Michigan Fourth Of July
orator, :. Putnam went right into the VOLTS den,
dragged her out. and the independence Of amer
ica was secured"
"A young lady asked clerk in the American
News Colnpany's store yesterday If ho bad
"Festus." mo, replied tho clerk, *'but I'm
afraid boil is coming on the back OF my mock"
"A district schoolmaater IN ono OF tho upper
counties of Michigan WIS asked What algebra bo
preferred, aud he replied: ~ Oh, ain't particu-
lar most any kind that will just peel the hide
when you STRIKE"
"A young husband took his wife to = soda
fountain last evening, aud looking solemnly at
the man who asked them = what sirup?" said
he would take +" crusade" Imagine his horror
when she eaid she would try some too. He
laughed feeby, but the cold sweat stood in
great drops On his clammy brow; but, for
tunately, the soda-man never lost his presence
of mind and, while the husband threw in an OK
ira dose Of '' erusade,' his wife made q wry
faco over ginger. She will never try ''crusade"
az gain.-Buriinqton Hdtck-Eye.
There was an old couple at the Central
Depot yesterday waiting to GO through to the
West, and they seemed loving enough until the
old man went out and returned smoking q
cent cigar and with his hat santing over lis loft
could recognize him, and then opened her mouth
and said: ' Whatd I tell re, Phie.us Remns-
ton, before We left New Jersey? Didn't say
you'd 20 and make fool Of yourself the first
chance you got?" He tried to pacify her by
saying that tho cignr only cost cents, but
sho shouted: ''You teased and teased till lot
you sit your boots blached; then yon wanted
some sods-water; then you bought apples on
the train, and here's another cents thrown
away! It all counts up, aud it you don't die in
the poor-house then my name 1aiu't Sary!"-
Detroit Free Prc3s.
The farmer dues not lack for society, nor
can hi! occupation be considered 1nonotonous.
At d*ylg lie gets up and examines the holes |
round his corn-hl1s for crt-worms; then lie !
smashes coddling-moth larvzn with 3 boe-handle |
until breakfast. The forenoon is devoted to |
Watering the potato-bugs with solution of |
Paris green, and after dinner all hands turn out |
to pour boiling water on the chiuch- bugs in the !
corn and wheat fields In the evening favorite |
occupation is soudsing peach trees to discourage
the curcu}io, and. after brief season of family !
devotion 1t tho shrine of the nht-tlying coloop-
;ern, all tho folks retire aud Aieep eoundly till |
Aurora rcddcos tho East, and the grasBloppers |
nkie against tho pane and summon them to the !
abors OF another day. And yet there aro soma
:eople who t!,iuk ! farmers l,fo is wholly WITH
''1: lis attractions and pleasures.-H. Louis
GtGJc.