The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1874-03-06
Odds and Ends.

way music store ana asked the young man
la attendance, Have you Happy
Dreamsy" was astonshed when hereplied,
NO ma'am. I'm mostly troubled with
the nightmare" He didn't know why
she went out so hurriedly and slammed the
store door after her.
! The official statement of the dry-goods
importations al the port of New York for
January of the present year, has just been
published. The total valuation of these
imports amounted 10 SS.sl5 ga. decrease
a compared with January. 1873. of So
so ,30s. and in comparison with 1872 de-
cline OF 50, 5S4.s1l. The indications point
To a light spring trade in imported British
and European goods.
When the dinner lately given TO Judge
Seymour by the fairfield county Bar was
proposed, lank lawyer from Litchfield
county was invited 10 be present. but de-
INJURED. = don't see why YOU should
give him dinner" he said. The ground
of courtesy. mutual obligation. ETC., were
gone over by the inyiter. Il know.
know protested the lank attorney from
I.itchfield. - but the idea of giving grand
dinner TO him Why" he exclaimed with
gesture of contempt. seymour don't
eat anything but hash-he amt got only
one tooth. ''-DGnbary.
"A bookseller was short time back
rather astonished AT miners wife bring
ing him "A Johnson's dictionary which she
had purchased from him few days be-
fore. She said lit was poor book. and
of no use to her" She had looked for
"Rhoomatics." but could not find it; she
had also searched for Nat (gnat). but il
was absent as well. On the bookseller
pointing out the words. she still declined
10 retain tire volume. remarking that ''she
wanted one where they did not spell the
words In that outlandsh manner"
"A man who had missed his way fortu-
nately overlook boy going with a pot of
tar 10 mark his masters sheep. He asked
him the road TO Banff. but was directed
by so many turnings. right and left, that
he agreed TO take the boy behind him on
his horse. Finding the boy pert and do
ellie. he gave him some wholesome advice,
adding occasionally: MARK me well. my
boy.r les. sir, | do.r He repeated the
Injunction so often that the boy at last
cried out: Il Gamma mark We ony mair,
as the tar has geen oot."
The irrepressfble Joker at the Banks
Club the other day. while touching up his
oysters with pepper from the castor. OBJ
served to the waiter that the pepper was
half peas. "Oh. no." said the polite wait
er. that is the best sort of pepper"
We'll. tell you II is half peas; tell Mr..
Mills" That gentleman came. and the
Joker remarked, Il always expect 10 get
the best Of everything in this house. but
this pepper il half peas" THAT can't be
so: wetake especial pains to procure it,
and have il ground in our own mill"
Well, ii j. so. and can prove it," IF
you can | should like 10 have you"
= well. John. YOU Just spell it." And the
amiable proprietor retired with a sweet
and gentle smile on his benevolent face
Graphic.
"A recent medical writer saws: "Sleep
wherever YOU can-anywhere when you yet
"A chance the want of the age is sleep"
This is not always safe to follow. as one of
our townsmen (says a contemporary
knows to his sorrow. He was recently
afflicted with a bad cold. and to cure him
self OF il resorted TO the remedy of put
ting his feet in hot water and drinking
tumber full of strong whisky toddy. pre-
.eriled by an aged and respected friend Of
the family. Having got everything in or
der for carrying out the prescription, he
sat down by the fire. his feet immersed in
warm water. and tumbler of smoking
toddy by his side. In this condition a
sense of enjoyment stole over him as he
slipped the sxhilarating liquid. and he fell
asleep. His wife had gone TO bed, and on
awakening. about 3 O'Clock in the morning,
wondered why she was alone. Going
down stairs she was Mortified 10 find her
liege lord asleep in his chair. the fire out.
his feet still immersed in the water. over
which cake of ice was forming. and an
empty tumbler on the chair beside him.
Ills cold isn't bit better.
"A lady leil her little child playing near
"A hot stove on which was kettle Of boil
ing water. yesterday morning. while she
ran across the street To a neighbours.
Presently she heard the agonizing screams
of that child. and ON the wings of terror she
flew to its relief. Oh. horror there Oh
the floor lay her darling babe, the pure out
growth of holy love, the idol and light
and life of her heart. struggling in the
grasp of tremendous cockroach. For
moment the fond mother stood transfixed.
chilled to the marrow In her bones, then.
gathering all her strength for action. she
seized flatiron. sprang. a. springs the
lioness upon the murderer of her cubs
sprang upon the monster. wrenched away
its grasp. hurled II upon its back, and with
a cry of triumph, brought down the iron
and mashed the bloodthirsty bug. Then
clasping her babe to her bosom and muir
ruring Saved savedr' she swooned
away. We Immediately had reliable ar
fist upon the spot, and In afew weeks will
be able TO offer chromos OF the thrilling
scene, as apremium to subscribers to this
paper-ByEnscicksr
Miss Phpbc CoZzens Is "A pretty. good
lawyer. Anybody may know the first to
be true by looking at her, and those who
are blessed with an acquaintance aver the
last. Miss Phoebe lectured I'm New York
the other night. and revealed TO the aston
ished audience the fact that there were no
less than five female lawyers mentioned In
the Book of Numbers. Miriam, Deborah.
and IIulda We're lawyers. and the Queen Of
Sheba and Judith might he claimed as
bright members of the profession. Miss