The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-07-31
SAYING AND DOINGs.

1T has been EOtIced tnaG nOtnlng
makes a woman laugh SO much as a
new set of teeth.
-Operator-'' Well, sir, 1 think, sir,
+ when you attend public worship, If L
were you, Ia sit in the gallery.
Cart. FRY's widow has started
woodward in New Orleans. She num-
bers her friends in that city by the
cords.
THE number of Jews in Jerusalem at
the present time is said to be $4,000,
thus forming more than half of the en-
tire population.
IT is shrewdly observed that sawdust
pills would cure a great many diseases
if the patient would only make his own
sawdust.
ESTHER SHAW, of Davenport, Iowa,
worked thirteen years in one family be-
fore asking fora cent of pay. Needn't
write for her she's dead.
RETURNING emigrsnt wagon passed
through Cedar Falls, Iowa, last week,
bearing the expressive and euphonious
label, ON the grasshoppers.
A CINCINNATI boarding-school girl,
while indulging with her companions
in the amusement of kicking at a mark
the other day, dislocated her thigh
joint.
CoNNECr1CUr loses 3, 800 sheep every
year by dogs, but If it wasn't for
spotted dog under the buggy who
would take any pleasure IN driving
out t.?
THEY can't agree in Denver how long
the blade of bowie-knife should be, so
that you see all communities have a
skeleton in the closet, and no town can
expect to be perfectly happy.
TENNYsoN1AN, MORE OR Less
Low ore her brow she pastes her hair,
Down curviDg to her Grocian nosei
Her friZzles once her fondest care,
Are wilted a last years rose.
LANDnADY (fiercely)-F You must
not occupy that bed with your boots
on - Boarder. -'' o never mind,
| they're only an cid pair. The bed
bugs can't hurt 'em. I'll risk 1t, any
how"
TEN years from now Germany expects
to be able to put into the field trained
army of one million six hundred men.
This, for a country that has no Indian
war on hand, will be rather enterprising
IT is estimated that it costs the peO-
pie of the United States 100000
yearly to keep their teeth in repair. All
the consequence of drinking ice water,
which, say the dentists, cracks the en-
amel.
Turn for a moment from the Beecher
scandal and ponder over the fact that
the footprints of Chicago lady on
the prairie near Michigan city got
crowed of men out to hunt for stray
elephant.
"WHAr do you know of the character
of this man ?" was asked of a witness at
a police-court the other day. What
do I know of his character? know it
to be unbleachable, your honor" he
reDlied with much emphasis.
WHEN an Indian chief comeS down
to making ak handles and selling them
at eleven cents apiece, as the case
with Big Wolf, of Nevada, it's time to
chip In for a monument to Cooper and
Longfellow.
One reason why Wisconsin hired girls
get four dollars per week is because
they have to 90 down stairs at midnight
to investigate strange noises, while the
man of the house takes up a position
under the bed.
DESERTED by all but his aged bob
tailed dog, his life went slowly out as
the shadows of the setting sun crept
over the front stoop of Darling's gro
cery," is the way they express them
selves in Georgia.
WELL, Johnney, how are you getting
on How do you like your new mas
ter ?" Faith, Miss, I dunno" He's
a very excellent man you can't do too
much for him." "An' sure, Miss, 1
don't name to"
AUNT BELLA Cwho has just read aloud
"The burial of Sir John Moore y
"Now, then, which of the verses do
you like best ?" Jack with alacrity)--
''Oh! I know Few and short wero
the prayers we said.
BECAUSE a st. Louis paper said some
thing about "t the boot of public indig-
nation" the jealous Louisville CouriOr-
Journal must 60 and say ON a st.
Louis foot such a boot would be cap
able of kicking the stuffing out OF n
range of mountains"
A serpent saw an eagle gain,
On soaring wing a mountain height,
And envied him, and crawled with pam
To where he was the bird alght.
SO tickle fortune oftentimes
Befriends the cunning and the base,
And oft the groveling reptile climbs
Up to the eagles lofty place.
ONE Mellen Cross, who mystoriously
disappeared from Maine lunatic
asylum, and on whose alleged skeleton
a local coroner held an entirely salts
factory inquest, has turned up as an
eremitic resident of Deer Island, in
Boston harbor, and the provoked coro-
ner aforesaid observes that no one but
mailman would go off and leave his
skeleton behind him.
AT a recent prayer meeting of colOred
people at Erie, the decsncy and good
order of the meeting being disturbed by
a negro named Brown, whose prayers IN
public we're only incOherent rawlings, the
pastor inquired: '' What fool niRga's
dat prayin' down dar nea' de do p A
dozen people replied with one voice
" 1t am Brudder Brown, sab" ''Den,
, . replied the pastor, Brudder Brown
subside, and let some one pray dat s
better 'dainted wild de Lord.
! A coLoEY of such men as the late
Simon Sturges, of Allentown, Pa, sent
! into a state where the female portion
, of the populations out numbers the
! males six to one. might accomplish
: great deal. He had been married
: four times, the weddings having been
q on his fortieth, fiftieth, sixtieth and
1 SEVENTEEN birthdays His last wife
: was dead, too, aud It is likely that, had
o MIR. Sturges lived another year, ne
p would have celebrated his eIghueth
. birthday In the accustomed style, ne
! cause the local paper says he was
+ very methOdical old man"
!, SosrE time since q gentleman was
/. travelling on a railway tram tnSs ia Ill't
J. but one passenger-cOach attacned. ine
? gentleman is addicted 70 the bad haolt
q 81 smoking. He ha I but one cigar at
= 49,. tiyoe and Ionced for a smoke, but