The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-04-09
A Talk for Mothers,

Parents OF the \SO-CaiiokI uiluolo SAoooS', ~
what are you training your daughtefsY 10 10
her own station in life, am training mine,
perhaps you will say. Let us give the subject
our attention for short time, and see whether
your system of training win attain your object
In making her a helpmeet.
We will take the case OF our friends, Mr.
and Mrs. Farmer. They were, you KNOW, IN
good circumstances previous TO the war, Due
With the freeing of the negroes came other
losses and uisfortunes. Mira. Farmer, with
sommendable energy and sel-denial, laid aside
her fine Iadyism and went to work, determined
to help her husband retrieve their lost fortunes,
that their children might not be deprived of
that greatest of all advantages, good educa-
ton.
Their children were small, but Bessie, the
eldest was old enough to be OF great help TO
her mother, who was ogerburdened with duties
to which she was unaccustomed; but the 1ono
mother, instead of teaching her daughter to
cheerfully accommodate herself to circumstan-
ces. and to make herself useful in every posi-
bic yay under the altered state Of affairs, made
it her sole duty to shield her from household
duties of every kind, for she could not forget
that she was born to wealth.
In due time Miss Bessie arrived at an age
when it was deemed advisable to send her
from home for year or two, to give her that
polish which the hard-working mother had
now no time to bestow. During Miss Bessies
absence times grew worse, and the mother
unable to hire the inefficient help which she
could command, has degenerated into mere
household drudge, cooking, milking, washing,
ironing and securing; crowding into each day
the work formerly done by two or three lazy
servants.
Miss Bessie returns home, her education
completed. She returns with an overweenng
sense of her own importance, for IS she not
College 6reds She has slight feeling of con-
tempt for her hard working mother, and If she
eondescends to keep her own room in order, 1t
is done with an air that plainly says: What
was the use of sending me to college, if l am
required to perform such menial ofices?" If
her mother ventures to ask her to cook meal
or milk the coWs-horrols she is ready to
faint at the idea; but the indulgent mother
screens her in all possible ways from such
work, fe. Bessie is pretty and her hands are
white, and mother thinks, Il will only have to
work little later each night to make good her
defects, and cannot endure that my darling
should tan her skin and harden her hands, for
she will not be so attractive; and want Bessie
10 make good match"
Miss Bessie goes into society and receives
considerable attention, for she is piquant and
saucy, and can be very agreeable when she
tries.
She at last receives an eligible offer of mar
riage from Robert Harvey, the SOB of wealthy
planter in the neighborhood.
Mr.. Harvey has received fair education,
but his father, having other children to pro-
vide for, is unable to give the son much prop
srty. The young man, however, knows that
II nd
has kept no servants since the war ended, and
Re is contented to take Bessie for better or
worse, thinking, of course, that her mother has
trained her in all things necessary for wife to
know. So he says, "If we are poor, we have
stout hearts and willing hands, and, no doubt,
in o few years, we will have retrieved our lost
fortunes"
They marry, and during the festivities that
follow, the bright side only of her character is
SEEN, and the young husband imsgines himself
the happiest of men. By-and-by they go to
housekeeping; Mrs. Bessie insists that she
must have a servant, and the fond husband is
willing to indulge her in every possible way.
Cook Is ignorant and thievish, and as Bessie
has not been trained to look after the ways of 3
household, of course Dinah is allowed to do
pretty much as she pleases. Robert has laid
In a stock of provisions for the year, but eata-
bles disappear mysteriously, and sheets, table
cloths and articles of wearing apparel walk OF
unaccountably. Bessie soon announces that
provisions are out, and more must be bought.
Robert complains that they have been stolen,
and that she neglects her duty in not looking
after her servant; bus Bessie bursts ints tears,
and declares that he no longer loves her, or he
would not bring such accusations against her.
Robert apologies for his harshness, and things
20 on pretty much as before. Bessie spends
the greater Of Der time lying on the lounge,
reading sensational novel or sleeping while
Dinah has free access to everything. The
consequence is, that at the end of the year
Robert finds himself largely in debt notwith-
standing he has striyen manfully to make q
start in life.
A scene ensues; Dinah is discharged and
Bessie is informed that she must do the house
work, as he is unable to support her any longer
in idleness Finding him firm, she submits
with sullen reluctance, and attempts to perform
IN a sloyenly manner such tasks as she cannot
avoid. The husband, seeing the defects in hel
training, assists her when his own business will
permit; but she cannot divest herself Of the
idea that she was raised lady, and that labor
is degrading. She neglects her duties, ano
when her husband complains that his meals
are prepared irregularly, and in q careless
manner, and that his promptness to his busi
ness depends in great measure on hers, she
retorts that she was never a household drudge
in her fathers family, and that she never in
tends to be slave for any man.
Thus things will go on from bad to worse
The cows go dry for want of being regularly
MIXED; provisions are wasted; dirty clothing
is often thrown away; money is spent reck
lessly, and utter ruin will be the consequence
The husband struggles manfully, but seeing h'
cannot stem the torrent, in despair will seek tx
drown his cares in strong drink, or, perhaps
end by taking his own life.
Or, if Bessie is q woman of unusual energy
and Judgment, she may perceive the ruinou
course she is pursuing before it is too late, ant
determine that she wiy be helpmeet indeed
But what gigantic difficulties she has to over
come, none can realize but those who have hat