davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18
WIT AED HUMOR.

TIE Jenkins Of the Sioux City Journal
describes one Of the bellies Of ball room
as "a graceful little toad. /"
A Western moralist thinks The two
greatest, evils Of the present day are niu
toxieation and costly funerals.
A Memphis paper says that the aver
age lawyer ofthat city can't make money
enough at bis profession to keep him 10
whiskey.
Brotherly love is not the only kind
they cultivate in Philadelphia For
1872 fond hearts were made to beat as
1881 in that city last year.
Beechcr is all right, Storrs is all right,
Buddington is all right, the Council is all
right, and even Tilton is "Little All
Right" Allelujah - Chicago Mail.
The reason young girls read their let
tiers on the street is SO people will not
know they have them. This reason is
given by an unmarried man in the alb
sence of any equally plausible solution.
--bdHouiy Ne"o.
Style in which an oath was adninis-
tered by German Justice of the Peace
in Lincoln, Wisconsin "You as awfully
swear you will tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth, the
best way you can't"
A Danbury man, who recently lost
his wife, was asked by friend whether
she died suddenly Indeed, she did |"
he explained with much feeling "why,
only week afore there was man
around here that wanted to insure her,
but ] never dreamed of anything hap
pening, and don't believe anybody
would have thought it either, to look at
her"
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

Laugh and grow fat, is quite ven-
cradle adage, and Stearne tells us that
every time man laughs, he adds some-
thing to his life. An eccentric phil
osopher of the last century used to say
that he not only liked TO laugh himself
but to see and hear laughter Laughter
is good for health. provocative to APP
petite, and friend to digestion. DR.,
Sydenham said. .:"The arrival of a merry
Andrew in a town is more beneficial to
the health of the inhabitants than twen-
ty asses loaded with medicines. Though
as Shakespeare AYERS, all men and wo-
men are players, yet we little know the
stat e of mind in which they play their
part Sometimes the actor is most merry
when most miserable, as the eyes are the
brightest just before dissolution. A
physical was called to an unkhnwn
patient, and found him suffering under
the deepest depression of taod with
out any assignable cause of disease. The
physician advised him TO seek cheer
ful objects, and recommended him to
go to the theater and see famous actor,
whose comic powers were unrivalled.
Alas! The comedian who kept the houses
in roar was this poor hypocondriac
himself
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18
THE T4GREsS DISASTER.
Particulars of the Explosion

New YORK, April ia dis
patch from St. Johns, Newfound-
land, in relation to the accidenton
the sealing steamer Tigress, gives
the following report of the captain
of the steamer Panther, the YES
sci which brought the intelligence
to st. Johns: ''On the Sd instant
the Panther was in longitude SO
15< west, latitude 500 22< north, on
her return to st. Johns. The
lookout" reported a steamer, APP
parently moving only under sail.
AS we approached her it was dis
covered that she had her flags at
half-mast. Subsequently, and af-
ter signaling her, / ordered a sboat
to be lowered and went on board
myself, when | discovered her to
be the steamer Tigress, of Polaris
fame. Her captain and chief off,
GERS were on deck when | got on
board. | was then Informed that
on April I'd, at 2 O'Clock in the af-
ternoon, the vessel was shaken all
over by
A TERRIFIC EXPLOSION.
OF her boiler, which created great
terror and confusion, and the es-
capped steam completely enveloped
every compartment below. La
consequence ali steam facilities
had been destroyed and they had
been under SAIL. against a mead
wind, for tWenty-four hours.
When / reached the deck of the
Tigress / observed that number
of men were engaged in carpen-
ter's work, making up and nail
ing together number of rough,
pine wood boxes. | asked the
commander what they were for,
and he said they were designed
for receiving the bodies of the I'M
fortunate men who had been Kill
ed by the accident. con the day
Of the explosion. said the captain
to me, "the weather was dreadful
ly cold and IA rough breeze blow
ing and a heavy swell on. a num-
Der of men had gone below after
watch, and had turned in on top
of the boiler for warmth Nine
Teen of the crew were reposing in
this way when the crash occurred,
and some of them were literally
sCALDED BEYOND RECOGNITION.
The CONSERVATION was fearful
The two engineers We're on duty
at the time, and both were killed.
We left them on the afternoon
of the 3D., making for land under
sail, and promised to report the
disaster Immediately on our arri-
val. did not ascertain the names
of the men, as all the officers of the
'Tigress were in great grief, and
could give but few particulars"
The dispatch furthr says:-Since
the captains statement was made
yesterday it was learned that the
Tigress had arrived off the coast,
and had put into Bay Roberts,
where, in all probability, she will
land her dead and wait for assist
ance.
After the Polaris matter had been
disposed of, the Tigress had been
ii ted out for seal fishing trip,
and was returning south at the
time with her "catch," when the
errible disaster occurred
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18
A PRISON REVOLT.
Effort sst Escape
TROUBLE APPREHENDED IN SING
SING.

4 NJ y DIE AL IeEIi I'm l}ED In SlNG
SING.
New York, April IA revolt
broke out in one of the cabinet
shops in Sing Sing Prison yester-
day, and theatens to prove seri-
Gus. About fifty convicts, who
have demanded in insolent terms
the removal of one of the keepers,
refused to commence work, and
were removed to their cells under
strong guard and put under rig
id punishment. Fifteen repented
bat the remainder are still locked
up ia dark cells. Considerable
excitement prevailed in the pris-
on last night, some of the more
desperate convicts swearing they
will repeat the alarming revolt OF
1869. and that once out of their
cells, they will resist to the death
any attempt to march them back
again into prison.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

Gold, like Boutwell,, has gone up.
Some animals love brillian tcolors.
New York horses are not "hoarse."
John Smith is eight ex-Congressmen.
Dyspepsia sometimes causes cancer.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

A somewhat quaint story is told
in the Church Herald, publish ed
in London, of a Baptist grocer who
called upon Monsignor Chapel to
complain that his daughter, hav-
ing surreptitiously attended ser
vice at the pro-Cathedral, had re-
nounced her misbelief. Monsignor
Chapel listened with demure
urbanity, and ended by inquiring
in what way he could assist his
visitor. swell, the fact is" ex-
claimed the grocer, "my daughter
used to help me in the shop, and /
want to know whether she will
be obliged to inform her confessor,
who has long been customer of
mine, of the little tricks we are
sometimes Obliged to use in our
trade?" The Monsignor replied
that if the Baptist's daughter were
good girl, she would be bound to
disclose all that was on her con-
science. "Ah, well if that's the
case," cried the grocer, I'll just
join your church, too (; for | should
like to give him my own account
of the matter"
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18
SCIENTIFIC NOTES.

M. Mouton relates case of
death by the administration of less
than thirty grammes of nitrate OF
potash.
Alexander S. Wilson states that
the ash of deceased potatoes is de-
ficient in lime compounds. The
remedy is, therefore, self-evident.
BY placing fresh orange flowers
at once in boiling water, and col
lecting the distillate Immediately,
the product is superior to that OBJ
tanned by immersing the flowers
in cold water, and then raising
the comparatively. Mdle,afdnt.
Putrid blood injected into the
veins of a living animal is not
mortal unless several drops are
used but the blood of an animal
thus poisoned causes death in less
than two days in such minute
quantities asa trillionth of a drop.
". DaUaiqe.
The so-called vegetable wax of
Japan and China is, in reality, the
secretion of an insect about the
size of grain of rice. 1t receives
its name because it is found on
trees. After it is gathered it is
melted and strained. Nearly 3d.
100000 pounds were exported from
China in 1870.
In discussion on the value of
meat extracts as food, Max Won
Pettenkofer holds that the ex-
tracts prepared according to the
present plan of Baron Liebeg are
quite equal to, if not superior, to
meat itself. He thinks it bears the
same relation to meat as cheese
and butter bear to milk.
Graege finds that if comeback
is boiled in five times it's weight
of water, containing five per cent.
of carbonate of soda, and then
treated repeatedly with muriatic
acid, and then thoroughly washed
and dried at 100 degrees c., it is
reduced to one-fifth its original
weight, but its decelorizing power
is exceedingly intense. e
To avoid the errors which arise
from weighing in the air, NJ. De-
leuill, of Paris, has constructed
a vacuum balance. 1t consists of a
balance of the best description
enclosed in an air-tight iron case.
provided with glass windows,
and suitable rods passing through
stuffing-boxes. The vacuum is
produced by an ordinary air-pump
and the weighings are very accu-
rate.
In Genealogical examinations
phosphorus may he separated from
fatty matters by the solvent action
of liquids ammonia or fats. From
the residue tie phosphorus
isseparated by the agency ofether.
The solution thus obtained is puri-
fed by evaporation and repeated
washing with ammonia, the latest
traces of which are removed by
water calculated with sulphuric
acid, and finally by distilled water.
- Fan BdSteieoT.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

There is kind of unexpected
ness about absent-minded people
which is exceedingly pleasing.
We may be permitted to mention
here the recent performances of a
country clergyman of this State
who has a habit of forgetting
things during his sermons, and,
after seating himself, suddenly
rising to utter them. with the
preliminary remark: by the way
He had got halr through an elo-
quent prayer when he hesitated,
forgot what he was do ng, and be-
slowed himself upon the sofa
without closing. But in a
moment his memory returned, he
jumped up, and pointing his finger
at his rather surprised congrega-
ton, solemnly observed "Oh, by
the way-Amen !"
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

a central disciplinary school has
been suggested in New York,
where bad boys may be sent from
other schools.
1t is said that the young Prince
Napoleon obtained the highest
number of marks at the recent
WoolWich examination.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

Captain William Gaunt, who drove
the carriage in which rode Lafayette in
the grand ovation offered to him, in
New Youk city, forty years ago, died at
Matches last week. During the late
war he was sent to the Dry Tortugas by
General Butler.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

Swinburne has broken "loose" again
Sugar is so cents pound in Havana.
In basques, the Viva coast is the lat
est
The volcano should have waited till
76.
Preferred creditors Those who don t
dun.
Side combs are coming into fashion
again.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

The solvent power of petroleum
adapts it for use in the cleansing
Of steel articles. 1T does not be-
come rancid or gummy, as is the
case with other oils.
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-18

"Not for Joe''--The Connecticut
Senatorship.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
Read This:

A COMPLIMENTARY TESTIMONIAL TO
MESSRS j. a c. MAGUIRE, st Louis, Mo. Cen
tlemen:-The undersigned. having known you for
many wears as reliable chemists and Pharmacbutists
and observing the effective action OF your remedies
for whatever recommended. wish to bear voluntary
evidence 10 the efficacy of You irst and, in our opin-
ion hest preparation, "MAGUtRE'S CUNDUhAN-
GO BITTEkS." Ii is all that you claim TO. II as an
Alternative purgative, depuraor and dluretlc acting
specially upon the liver, blood, kidneys and bowels
JOSEPH BROWN, Mayor, who adds: II have
found this the most pleasant and effective medicine
have ever used.
MILES SELLS, State Insurance Commissioner,
who adds II endorse the Mayors opinion.
THos. RICHEsoN, s.H.LEFLINN,
Pres White Lead & Oh ofLefin & Rand Powder
Co Co.
D. M. HoUsEn, CaAs. d. CONFER,
Prop. ST. Louis Globe Ch'mn Dem Cen. Com.
WE, WAGNER, P. G. FUkGESON,
Clerk Probate Court. jerks, of Mo. Dem.
BRITAIN A. HILL, HENRY L. MUDD,
Attorney ut Law. Late City & County ASS e.
8. BLOOD, FRANK VALE,
Late Prest B'tm'n ms. savings Ok. Court Criminal
Assn. Correct
NORMAN j. CoLMAN, 2. M. CHAMBERS,
Pub Rural Home. Pres. But & prov. Bank
NJ J. HAKTNETT, e. s. GREEN WOOD,
Late City Collector. res, Y. M. &. A.
fHOS. WALSH, E A. SHRY0CK,
Architect. of Shryock g. Co
NJ T. ANDREWS, VT GAY,
ofMoody. Michael g. Co. ofGay, Hannenkamp& CO
THERON BAKNUM, JAMES ARCHER,
of Barnum's Hotel. Denver, Col
And many others too numerous to mention.
J.&C. MAGUIRE,
Sole Proprietors,
Yriee75 per bottle st. Louis. No,
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
Patrons Of Industry.

1t may not be generally known to our
readers that there is new organization
bearing the above name, identical in inter
ests and purposes with the Patrons of
Husbandry-but with broader basis-so
broad indeed that it embraces all classes
of workingmen and women. No matter
whether they are farmers or mechanics or
day laborers. they are carpen-
tiers, machinists, blacksmiths or printers
the door of this organization is open to
them, and they are all invited to enter and
band themselves together for mutual en-
ioyment and improvement. 1t is secret
organization in the same sense that the
Patrons OF Husbandry are secret,-that is
Just so far as is necessary to form an in
tegrating force by which they are held to-
gether and enabled to act with asingleness
of purpose requisite to effect any perman-
ent good. or carry out any great reform.
The order was brought into existence in
last August, and is rapidly spreading over
the country, with purpose of establish.
ing lodges in every town in the country
where there are workingmen enough to or.
ganiZe one.
The primary object of the organization
is to secure to the workingmen and womer
of the country their rights, as guaranteed
by the constitution, and of which they hav,
been practically robbed by class Legislation
and aggregated capitalize enable them t
resist the extortion of monopolists, -wheth
er railroad or other corporation.
While this does not claim to be politi
cal organization, it proposes to max Re ii
power felt at the ballot box if necessary &c
secure the reforms needed-to secure tn,
election Of good men to office, and to pu
an end to corruption and proAigacy in higl
places, and at the same time to improv,
the social condition of its members, and Sc
cure to them better rewards for their labor
Here is the Preamble of the Constitution
from 1t can be obtained better idea {
the objects and purposes of the organiza
ton, than anything we can write:
PREAMBLE.
By industry we thrire. In union We have success
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10

n .oc-ecv we have power. In confidence we have
peace In might we have right. In these signs NE
Shall conquer. The prosperity OF na'ioh Ii -
FRbe neople and happiness in peace and plenty,
and peace and plenty result from dlngeh00 "nu
Freedom and Justice regardless of persons e tne
right of every human creature. Earnest WI $500; u,
est dealing and equitable pay is the Js' VI
eH In bonds Of mutual interest and friendship, we
ioin hands in working together for Tue general good
of our Order.
Tn another place we give an article from
the Pacific Rural Press to which we call
the attention of our readers. The organi-
2at;on of lodges of the Patrons of Industry
Is going on rapidly and is regarded as one
of fbe means by which the labor question
ia to he solved, 1t is matter worthy OF
the consideration of every working man in
the country, and the present seems to be
the time to act. Let our mechanics and
laboring men of all classes give it theiI
thought. Would they like to assist II
starting the movement in kewanee? Il
SO, let them discuss the matter with thell
fellow workingmen. 1t is folly to expect
the evils under which the country is groan
ing will be removed by any action OF oul
State or National Legislature-they ma!
do something-but the evil is too deep ant
of too long standing to be cured by legisla
ton alone There must be an all power
full moral force back of legislation to max
it effective, and such an organization, ex
tending throughout the country, acting Il
harmony with the Patrons of Husbandr
and Farmers Clubs, would furnish tina
moral power which would provo irresist
ble.-Kepdnee Independent.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10

Mr.. John Jones, one of the Commits
sioners of Cook County, a leading repre-
sentative of the colored race in the north
west, delivered an address on the LIST OF
January at Chicago, in which. after re-
viewing the progress of the Africans in
America during the ten years which have
elapsed since emancipation, he said:
1--WE must have our civil rights; they
must not be withheld from us any longer
they are essential to our complete freedom
and will here and now say that it the Re
publican party, to which we are attached
cannot pass Mr.. Summers Civil Rights
bill while that party is in the majority, we
as colored men, must call in question thel
sincerity and friendship towards us. w
are not demanding what are known as so
cial rights. These social relations lie en-
tirely outside the domain of legislation ant
politics. They are simply matters Of taste
and there | leave them.
These expressions are as just as they
are moderate.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
MISUNDERSTANDING.
w- Send for Illustrated Catalogue. "a

A NovELEY JOB PRINTING PRESS
n is the most profitable means OF
advertising that can possibly be
employed; with one, and a few
dollars worth of type, every man
doing business, or who manufac-
lures anything, can keep the pub
lie constantly informed of the con-
dition of his stock far more effect
ually and at a tenth of the expense
OF newspaper advertising. Few
employments offer greater attrac-
ti1ns as an amusement, than print
inc and as q means of instruction
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
are noderat,

President Blackstone, of the Chicago <
Alton Railroad, has devised novel means
of discouraging the free-pass beggars who
still besege the Company door. Every
applicant, land among them are prominent
the honorable forms of legislators, State
officers, city and county officials, and Peni-
Tertiary Commissioners is handed a care
full prepared circular, calling his attention
to the rapid and alarming growth of Com
munistic ideas in the West. The effect has
been most gratifying, and the crowd Of ap-
plicants has dwindled down to one OF two
daily, of those who cannot overcome the
power of habit. Chicago Tribune
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
DR.. C. B|GELOW,
Confidential Physician.

No 277 & 279 s. Clark ST., Cor. Van Buren,,
1t il well known by all readers of this paper thai
Dr. c. Bigeow is the oldest established physician in
Chicago, who has made the treatmen, of all chronic
and sexual diseases a specially Science and exper-
fence have made Dr. Is the most renowned oPE-
CIALIST of the age, honored by the press esteemed
of the highest medical attainmens by all the medi-
cal institutes of the day, hrving devoted TWENTY
YEARS OF HIS LIFE in periectiig remedies mat
will cure positively the cases CT CHR mic
AND PRIVATE DISEASES of the GENITO URl-
NARY ORGANS in both sexes, Seminal Weakness.
producing Nervousness, Aversion to Soclely, I'M
paired vision, Loss of Memory and Manhood, per
fecty cured. 1t il evident that one VINO cohnnes
himself to the study of certain Diseases lreatihg
thousands of cases every year. miist nave greater
skin than physician in general pra d meaa
Sent free TO any address in sealed envelope Consul
aton free. The finest rooms in the city, with sep
arate pario for ladies and gentlemen. GAIL you
see only the doctor. Correspondence Cn4ndenilsI
Address all letters to DR. G BlGkLOW, No 279
3 Clark ST, Office hours from A NJ 10 Pm; sun
DAYS 2 p. M. to5.
n B-Ladies, send for descriptive circular OF
Pessarie Reedee, the best prevention Of conception
known Sent to any address; enclose stamp.
The following testimonial as TO the skill and sue
cess of DR.. c. Bigelow was published in this city.
RELIEF FOR TAB AFFLICTED.-Diseases of a pc
cuiar nature require more than ordinary care and
attention, by skiIlful and well educated physician
There are great number OF pretenders to physical
science. who gull the unwary, who issue long ad
vertisements, and bring pre- ended testimonials
from all parts of the world as to their wonde full
knowledge, but who, when tested by rson of
| ordinary good common sense, are found to be un
acquainted with almost the first principles of medi
cal science and ignorant of the very names of cef
| tain parts of the hum N system, as Experimental
| and eynressed by the metical world. such mel
| abound in Chicago and who take care 10 refer Il
distant places for medical character, instead o.
! here, where the cheat could be detected.
| DR. Bi5elow is not If his ass. He is a resulal
bred physi ian. His reputation IS bes1 known here
| in our midst He wants no distant references, bu
of GA moi hhr
| sc yes to his care. While the world epdures THU
! class of physci uired, If any on
neede such service, it is of the utmost Importance
to engage only man whose experience is equal u
his offer of medical aid d, without prejudice. o.
| anyi terest in saying other THAI the ruth We rec
ommend most cor tally emphatica ly such t
visit Dr. Bige ow his central rooms, 279 S. Clar
ST. Chicago.-C Chicago Journal, Dec. 3, 1868.
| 419d&w1v
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
MoFFAT,s LIFE PILLS
and
PHOENIX BITTERS.

The most Successful Medicines
i'm the world.
Established i'm 1885, by one OF
our Most Eminent Physicians,
and now used throughout North
and South America, with more
pleasing results than any other
Medicine i'm cases of diseased
Liver, Blood, or Skin, Indiges-
ton, COstiveness, Bilious Com
plants, Rheumatism, and Fever
and Ague.
Thousands of certificates are
in our possession, giving detailed
accounts Observation-Disclosures
ed by these Invaluable Medicines.
They regulate the System, and
put all the functions of the body
in a healthy condition.
GB Sold by Druggists everywhere
j. ?. MILLS. Sole Prop'r,
s5sLIBERTY STREET, NEW YORK.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-01-10
CLIMAX! CLIMAX!
P..-e's G. max Salye, a Family
aSsing for 25 cents.

ssr7C > VI ~LlldA cdIfCs a NhAAAS
L. assing for 25 cents.
1t heals without a scar. No
family should be without it.
We warrant it tOvuTe Screfula
Sores, Salt REeUm, ChiibIains,
Sore Breasts or Nipples, Burns,
Scalds, Cuts, and Sprains.
1t has been used over twenty
years, without ore failure.
1t has TO parallel-haying per-
fectly eradicated disease, and
healed after all other remedies
had failed. 1t is compound of
Arnica, with many other Ex-
tracts and Balsams, and put up
in larger boxes for the same
price than any other Ointment.