The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1874-09-12
NUMBER /.
Laughing Gas.

Laughing Gas.
| They are so busy in Kansas that
they spell it 1Iwo1th.
The nearest approach to conf
dence game is pulling mules tail.
| Burl Grubb is the owner of a New
port yacht; SO they call him Canary
Seed.
| A Memphis paper defines adver-
tising to be u " blister which draws
trade"
The Queen didn't 80 much as GO
out in a tug to meet the American
base ballists.
Why ought not time piece to be
called thingummyf Because it is a
watch you call it.
A man adyertises in a New York
paper for a bar-keeper, "who must
be recommended by his PASTOR"
"Oh! ma. There's an angel with
Wings" 9 Pshaw that's only q Louis
vile girl with her ears spread"
The man who sang ooh, breathe
no more that simple air." went into
the smoking-car, where it was more
mixed.
When Chicago man can't lie on
his back and go to sleep without
dreaming Of his mother-in law, it is
considered a sufficient ground for di-'
! vorce.
Who is the straightest man men
rioned in the Bib1e9 Joseph, because
Pharaoh made a ruler OF him. And
tllat's>why he remained stationary in
Egypt.
"You hear me" is going out of
fashion. "Tbat's me that's coughing"
is the absolutely latest way of empha-
sizing and calling attention to your
remarks.
A minister once prayed 40 Lord,
we thank Thee for the goodly number
here tonight and that Thou art also
here Notwithstanding the inclemency
of the weather."
even you wants viskey," said
German saloon keeper of Cleveland,
contidentially to some Chicago visi-
tors, "you must call for vine and
pinch nit your eyes"
Noble lords are scarce at the water
ing place hotels, and a cruel Western
man accounts for it on the ground
that it is not time for the BARRIERS to
take their summer vacation.
One reason why Wisconsin hired
girls get four dollars per week, is be-
cause they have to 60 down stairs to
investigate strange noises, while the
man Of the house takes up q position
under the bed.
When they tried to force Miss Gay
Of Independence, Missouri, to marry
a man she didn't want, she kicked the
minister's hat off, knocked the young
man down, and rode off on a mule,
with one foot on each side of him.
When a Tennessee husband will
horsewhip his wife for washing pota-
toes in his Sunday plug hat, it is time
to inquire whether this generation of
men isn't getting to be too confound-
edly high-toned for the age of the
country.
A subscriber asks our commercial
man to quote the wholesale price of
soda bottles. He says he can't afford
to pay five cents apiece for them
when the roof of his woodshed is the
headquarters of all the cats in the
neighbor1lood.
Mrs. Tracy Of Missouri had been
sick a long time, and Tracy had her
coffin in the barn. When she died
the coffin was found four inchess too
short, and the neignbors wouldn't
even let him saw four inches off the
body to make it fit.
Because the authorities of Cedar
Rapids, in Iowa, won't sprinkle the
streets, the Cedar Rapids Times has
got its back up and refuses to publish
any thing about the Beecher affair.
Nothing like independent journalism
for bringing people to their senses.
"Boy," said a traveller to- DISC
bedient youth whom he encountered,
" don't you hear your father speaking
to you?" ooh! y-a-a-s," replied the
YOU'LL. Dut uOU llluu Wildt u0
says. Mother don't neither, and be-
twixt she and I, we've about got the
dog so he don't.'
They occasionally get hold of the
wrong man in Kansas when they are
hunting for horse thief, but they do
the fair thing with the widow. They
give her a lot in the graveyard, buy
the coffin, and march in procession,
singing g John Browns body" After
that they make up a purse, buy her a
shotgun and two dogs to make liv-
ing with.
"What is this for Z" asked the col
ored porter at a Long Branch hotel,
the other day, holding out a twenty
fve~cent note given him by the gen
1heman addressed for carrying up his
trunk. That" said the gentleman,
taking the note and putting it back in
p,nIrat rr,s for y-,.r %ro,,l,1o