Omaha daily bee., 1874-06-08

Upon the high trapeze;
And then I'd wish that 1 might have
Two educated hogs;
And last-but best-Id wish that l
Could dos dance with clogs"
MATRIMONIALITIES.
Au Iowa Justice offers to marry
couples at two shIllings a marry and
vet lie can't excite any enthusiasm.
The wedding of the Rev. DIR.
Bellows and Miss Peabody will take
place i'm New York the third week
in June.
An octogenarian of Bristol, Me-,
has incurred popular resentment by
taking a bride of fourteen to his
Bristol board and bed.
A married coupled in Washington,
Oregon, weigh, in the aggregate,
400 pounds, the wife weighing about
275 and the husband 125.
awe Kissed Each Other by the
Sea" is the name of the last Yale
poem. "By the season" is the way
some couples like it-and want
oceans more, until after the we'd
ding,
At Springfield, ILL.,, Miss Martha
Penny has sued Nathan Antle for
$1,000 for breach of promise. The
odds are great against her-S5,OOO
to a penny.
A woman should never consent
to be married secretly. She should
distrust a man who has any reason
to shroud i'm darkness the act which
i'm his own estimation should be the
crowning glory of his life.
A young man i'm Kansas City,
who was engaged to be married,
saw one of his sweethealt's stock
ings floating from a clothes-line
the other day and concluded he
wouldn't.
"a Kansas man sent his wife
after the cows, and she came home
dumb as an oyster" Noah Count
says he knows lots of married
friends of his who will invest In a
COW pasture each with as little delay
as their finances will allow.
1t is a beautiful sight to attend an
Arizona wedding. The bride in
white-the happy groom-the
solemn minister-the smiling par
ents, and from twenty-five to forty
shot guns standing against the wall
ready for use, make up a panorama
not soon forgotten.
1t was the Detroit Free Press that
gives publicity to the fact that
Maria LOvejOy, of Fond du Lac, is
now pushing her fourth breach of
promise suit, and the railroad has
had to put an extra train on for the
benefit of young men who want to
get out of that town.
According to the Wilmington
Gazette, there is a woman living i'm
Pencader Hundred, Newcastle cOun-
ty, Delaware, who has been mar
ried twenty-fOur years, and who
last week gave birth to her twenty
third child, which makes her record
one child per year since her mar
riage.
A female mule got come up with
at Salisbury, VT, the other day.
She was to be married, and the
house stood all ready furnished; but
she suddenly backed out of the
traces. The young man, however,
was equal to the occasion, for he
went and asked her sister to have
him. And so the house was occu-
pied, after only a weeks delay.
Mrs. Mary A. Donaldson, the di-
vorced wife of the celebrated bal
loOnist, was married at Reading,
Pa, on Thursday evening last, to
Thomas Nankervis, of Berks county,
a handsome young fellow who has
just returned from working i'm the
Lake Superior copper mines. The
parties had first met and made each
others acquaintance in the forenoon
of that day.
Another match broken up. This
is between a clerk in a well-knOwn
d,y goods store and a young lady on
Essex street. 1t was so warm on
that she had the parlor WIN
dow up, and he stood on the lawn,
and they were cooling to each other,
and he was just reaching up for an
other kiss, when the sash came down
ike a flash, and knocked off the
peak of his nose and scalped his
.hin, and he hoped around so
and howled SO dreadfully,
hat the old gentleman thought he
vas drunk, and had him kicked out
# the yard with a great deal of os-
entation. Monday morning he went /:
vest. i
A ludicrous scene was witnessed i
a Rensselaer, and Saratoga train
he other day. A newly-married {
ouple entered the a and took a I
eat. The husband wanting to
left his wife and went into
he smoking-car. The bride began
D doze, and while she slept a
entered the car, and as it 1
,as crowded, quietly. took a seat I
esde the young wife. Shortly she d
egan to nod, and doubtless imagin- n
~ that her husband was still in t
ne seat, gently reclined toward the l.
ranger, and soon her head fondly v
estled on his breast. At this juno Q
Ire the husband entered. He stood
/ mute establishment i'm the aisle {.
.til the lady awoke, and, realizing n
he situation, drew back in amaze \
suffused with bushes. The r
ranger explained, the husband was q
and the wife tried hard to y
Dpear uncOncerned. :,
There is q hotel in Oshkosh that y
Is the reputation of not having q :,
ngle bed-bug in it. The fact is :,
lev are all married and have large :.