Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-04-16
SCARED OuT OF A WIFE.

The narrative of which / am about
to write was toll me one bleak cold
ght 10 a country parlor. 1t was
one Of those nights 10 mid winter
when the wind swept over the land,
max ng everything Jingle with its
osty breath, that | vas seated be-
t re a blazing fire, surrounded by
j ~ halt d zAn boys and an
la bach, lJr. Peter Green, about 48
wears.
| wa just tho night without to
make those within joy a good
ry, save NJ. Green, who was a
j lly story eiler, we were somewhat
surprised 10 hear him say II have
n. story that woLli interest YOU"
40 we bad TO 6od other en- ertain-
men,s for while, whon one of the
ooys t. II Us TO ak him how it hap
pened that be bad never married 50
we did.
'Well irmen," be began, ait
don't seem r,shl {. me- to tell how it.
happened but ~ is about myself, ]
don't care much. You SOC when !
was young we had to walk as high
a. five nil, 70 church and singing
school which was 0or shief enjoy
nente. But this don't h2Ve anything
to do wish my not G. tiing wife,
tut l = anted ~ show you that we
Lad some trouble il them dsys In
getting cur sport.
john Smith and I were iise broth
ors, or like Mary aud her little lamb.
Whcre oDe went tho other was snre
to go. So W. went tn see two sisters,
ard ~ we were not tho hest of boys
Imaginable ihe cid gentleman took
umb rsge and wouldn't allow Us to
come near the house so we would
take sbe gjtl' 10 ehe end OF the lane,
and there we would take the fDai
kiss.
We soou goE tired oi that sort of
fun / told John, on our way to sing
ing school one night, that was 60
Jog home with Sadie, and that was
gong into the house, too.
He said the old man would cane
me il did.
/ told him | was going 10 risk it
anyhow. come what would.
Ho said thar he would risk il il |
u ould.'
So home with The girls we went
that night
When We got 10 the end of the lane
! told the gitls We proposed going all
the way.
They looked Of each other in way
didn't like any too well, but they
said the oli folks would DO in bed and
they didn't care if We did.
They were little more surprised
yet when told them we thought OF
going in q while, but as all was quiet
when We got TO the house, we had
no trouble in getting into the kitchen.
Then aud there we had our first
court and made up my mind to ask
Sadie to be my wife the next time |
came.
1t wac now past the turn Of night,
and IA we hal four miles to walk, /
,oId J I'm we must be going. SO we
tepp' out upon the p rch, but just
q. W. did so, the sky Was lit up by
ightting, and tremendous thunder
D 81 rolled among the mountain
-lde-. LIS echoes bad not died out
Ia h. distant vaes before the rain be-
/ gan To p ,ur down from the garnercd
tuilness OF The pen-ap clouds. We
wait, d for il TO stop until we we're all
leepy. when the girls said we should
I go To bed in the liCLle bod at the head
of the stairs which I'D out of the
kitchen 80 their father didn't get up
early, we could be home before the
I'D iolks were up. So after bidding
the girls sweet good hight aud
hugging them little-aud wishing
them pleasant dreams, aud promising
them TO come back on negt Saturday
night, we started 10 bed.
We didn't have far TO 90, as the
bed was near the stairs. John was
soon 10 bed, but | was little Glow.
aud full of curiosity, | set about &c
| look around the room.
At last thought | would sit down
on 8 chest that was spread over with
nice white olosth, while drew or
my boots So down ] sat. when
stars of the east! I went plump into
oustard pie.
| l thought John would die Laughing
| for be said ! had smashed tha'
custard pie ell to smash, and the plate
right IN two.
/ You see we hsd TO be awful quioi
so the cid gent would not hear US.
| | was now ready TO get into bed
80 put out the light aud picked NJ
my Roots, thinking to put them in I
more convenient place, when dowT
one Of my legs went through stove
| pipe bole, which bad been covered
with paper, up to my hip.
: Now one part Of NE was up stairs