The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-08-28
CAPTCRED SlMGLES.

BALLOONS do not cost much; they are
made for ascent.
Why are lawyers like shears? Because
they don't cut each other, bat only what
comes between them.
MouANNEpANIsM has been defined as
"that blessed religion which makes peo-
pie wash themselves"
40, Jon, Job. You take the hand
organ and give us the boils." is the
pathetic plea Of Western editor.
A STOUT old woman in Detroit got
mad lately because photographer
wouldn't let her fan herself until she had
her picture taken.
As soon as the few colleges now hold
ing ont shall join the regattas, there will
be no country like America for a young
man to get an education.
A CHAP who spent 81 800 to graduate
from Harvard, is Postmaster in Iowa at
s24 per year. Where would he have been
but for his Latin and Greek!
REcToR's daughter to Sunday school
"Oh, you have an elder brother; well,
how old is he?" Schoolboy-"dunno,
miss, but he has just started o'swearing.
NEXT to music, nothing 40 powerfully
tends to soothe the savage beast as to see
the young man who parts his hair in the
middle showing baby-wagon on Sun
day.
The farmer who hung up an old coat
in his field to frighten birds away and
afterwarl found u young brood in one
of the pockets has lost faith in scare
crows
WHEN any one out West relates cir
circumstance that takes more than two
men to believe, they interrupt him by
asking if he had a photograph of the oc-
currence.
A WAsHISaToN widow, who is the
happy possessor of $40, 900, is reported to
have received and declined eight onersof
marriage from discharged clerks in one
day and two nights.
A LITTLE boy was asked about the
story Of Joseph, and If he knew what
wrong his brethren done in disposing of
him, when he replied, 81 suppose they
sold him too cheap"
"KATR, | understand you have ac-
eepted a situation as governess. Rather
than that. would marry widower with
six children" "Yes, dear Sophie, and
80 would l, but where is the widower y"
AN, Mr.. Evins, amt seen you pass
this way in some time; feard yos wos
laid mp with your roomeytiz." Mr.. Er'ns---
Worse nor that, John; worse nor that.
Nv wife went an found me job O.
work
THE boy who, when asked 70 what
trade he would wish to he brought up,
replied: "l will be trustee, because
ever since papa has been trustee We
have had puddings for dinner" was a
wise child in his generation.
APENSsYLvASIA boy got No homesick
that he had walked seventy-eight miles,
without eating, in order to ait down once
more at the family hearth-stone. He was
received with such warmth by his male
parent that 1t was several days before he
could sit down anywhere.
THIS is how it happened in Southwest
Missouri:
lie found a rope and picked Ii ~,
And with 1t walked away,
Il happened that TO tother end.
A horse was hitched they ~y.
They found tree, and tied the rssss
Unios swinging limb,
II happened that the other end
Was somehow hitehed W him.
GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN has been
heard from. lie wants to know how 1t is
that the Associated Press and all the
newspaper people are at large. He was
put in the Tombs for printing the allega-
tions Of the Beecher scandal, and now
there is nothing else in the papers, yet
everybody goes free. lie inquiries the
mysterious reason Of this.
"wHAr is bull-head luck :" asked an
exchange. In the oil region man who
eked out an existence on scrubby, stony
hills, ate hoecake and slaPjacks, run ON
the river, when barefooted nine months
in the year, took his girl riding behind
oxen, snd then sold out To some wise 90
spectators for s2,00O0o0 cash, comes
near enough To ,atify the ordinary
mind 7itasritis icrad.
Ara recent prayer-meeting VI eolored
people OF Erie, the decency and good
order of the meeting being disturbed by
negro named Brown, who-e prayers in
public were incoherent ra, ings, the pastor
required What tool nigars dat prayin'
down dar nea' the do :" A dozen Peo-
Pile replied with one voice: "lt am
Brujier Brown, -ah." Dcn,' replied
the pastor, Brudder Brown subside, and
let some one pray dat's better quainted
wild dc Lord"
By a rturn lust issued the area OF