davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Placer herald., 1874-06-27

The most trying circumstance under which a
Young man can be, is to lay out in the corner of
afence for three hours these moonlight even
ings, patiently waiting for the pride of his
heart to make her appearance, and then wit
ness some other fellow bringing her home from
an ice-cream supper, and hear her tell him at the
gate, in melifuent tones, that her ''medtations
upon life in single room would prove a
reality. should he fail to reciprocate her love. y
When the Auburn youth, in the fence corner,
heard this, he didn't commence to reflect upon
the easiest way to shuttle off this mortal coil,
but silently crept out of that place, took fresh
Chew of plug tobacco, smashed his hat down
over his eyes, and started down street. We be-
heve he has since obtained comm 'ssion as
agent from the Cremation Society, and is now
sanvassing heather antiquity in their interest
The Placer herald., 1874-06-27
BORN.

In Auburn, June 10Th, 1874, to the wife OF
John Green, a daughter
The Placer herald., 1874-06-27

lHE following came to us some two weeks
ago, but was mislaid. Hence the reason of its
hon-appearance sooner. 1t comes from tn
lower part of the county, but from just which
school district, or what particular teacher is re-
Tered to, we do not know. One thing we know.
and that is, incompetent teachers should be dis
couraged. The moulding of immortal minds is
charge too sacred to be entrusted to rude
and incompetent hands This is what the cor
respondent says:
y We learn, with no little satisfaction from the
nERALD of last week, that Miss Klnkade's grad
yates, at the Bluff, in contra distinction with our
..ahdldates for scholastic honors at the last
;Machers' examination. have redeemed the sink
!, iu3 credit Of the county. Her graduating class
WIS Is stated, three young Misses, have gained pei
,,ehtage, on examination, of 92 and 93. the ques
Wns Ws1ns being the same as those submitted at the
Sh sasrch examination of teachers. Yet, witha
hs!m v must confess we are little panied to learn
.a ,s, our boy teacher here, year ago, who de-
.sred .sd he knew a1saything and left nothing for
+N'ons slse to know. has 80 signally failed
The Placer herald., 1874-06-27
Local and County Matters.

TIE weather during the past week has been
unusually cool. and pleasant.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
The Tachypomp,

The following paragraph "The
Tachvpomp," a humorous story, In
.Scri6ner's Monthly for March, de-
scribes an ingenious piece of mech
anism with which Professor RivarOl
prepares himself for creditors with
''small bills !"
"But are you never ptstG red with
bills?" l asked. "Don'tthe creditors
worry your life out?"
"Creditors" I" gasped RivarOl. 81
have learned no such word In your
very admirable language. He who
will allow his soul to be vexed by
creditors is a relic of an imperfect
civilization. OF what use is science
If It cannot avail a man who has ac-
counts current? Listen. The mo-
ment you or any one else enters the
outside door this little electric bell
sounds me warning. Every success
i've step on Mrs. Grimer's staircase Is
spy and lnfOrmer vigilant for my
benefit. The first step Is trod upon.
That trusty first step Immediately
telegraphs your weight: Nothing
could be simpler. 1t Is exactly like
any platform scale. The weight Is
registered up here upon this dial.
The second step records the size OF
my visitors feet. The third his
height, the forth his complexion, and
so on. BY the time he reaches the
first flight have a pretty accurate
description of him right here at my
elbow, and quite a margin Of time
for deliberatiOn and action. Do you
follow me? 1t IL plain enough.
Only the A Ii G. of my science.o
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
Effect OF Superstition.

Nicholas the First, being a sensible
man, as well as a mighty ruler, be-
lieved i'm the occasional relaxation of
mind. Among other amusements,
he was very fond Of masquerade
balls, and one night appeared at one
in the character of the devil, with
grinning face, horns and tail, and APP
peared to enjoy his character very
much. About three o'clock in the
morning he went out, and throwing
over him some furs, called a coach
man, and ordered him to take him to
the Quay Anglais. AS it was very
cold he fell asleep, and when he
awOke he found that the man had
taken him i'm a wrong direction, tor
the Quay Anglais Is one of the most
elegant portions of st. Petersburg,
while before him were only some
miserable houses. Nicholas began to
demonstrate, but the cOachman paid
no heed to him, and presently pass
ing through q stone gateway, brought
him into a cemetery, and taking a
large Knife from his girtlle and point
ing it to his employers throat, said:
"Give me your money and your furs,
or l will kill you" "And do you
give me your soul" exclaimed Mich
Olas, rs he threw off the furs and dis
closed his personificatiOn of the
devil. The Russians are very super
stitious, and the coachman was so ter
rifled that he fell senseless to the
ground, and the emperor drove
himself back to his palace.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
A Plea for the HOuse.DOg.

A correspondent of the Maine
Farmer speaks these good words for
the house-dOg: "What hard-wOrk-
ing farmer, on returning at night to
rest his weary limbs, does not feel
that he is more safe from burglars,
and his stock, fowl, and orchards
more secure from thieves and mid
night providers, both two and four
legged, if he has q good, faithful dog
about his premises? What good
hOusewife-and all such prefer leav-
ing their hard days work on the
clOthes-line during the dews of night
docs not feel that her clothes are
far more safe il Bose is i'm the yard ?
When the little ones are off berrying,
fishing, or wandering i'm the woods,
what parent does not feel less anxious
if Bose is with them? When you
are absent from home overnight,
do you not feel that home is more
secure If Bose guards the premises
and who greets your return with a
more cheerful welcome than hep
From the earliest period Of history the
dog has been the faithful companion
of man, and is the only species OF the
brute creation that will forsake its
own species and follow him. A dog
may be taught to be useful in many
ways, even to the saving of human
life. You can easily teach dog to go
into the water and bring out stick,
your hat or coat, and by filling suit
of your boys clothes with straw, and
throwing 1t into the river, your dog
will bring it out and If your little
boy should accidently fall into the
water, Bose would soon safely land
him on the shore.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
Sensible Advice.

Lamps must be filled every morn
ing. This is an imperative duty for
every hOusekeeper to see performed;
for as the oil burns down In lamp
there Is created highly inflamable
gas, which gathers iInperceptibly
over the surface, and as fast as the oil
is consumed this gas increases, so
when the oil is nearly out of the
lamp, the slightest jar, Of the table
will set the gas on fire; an explosion
follows simultaneously, and a bomb
shell would not be more destructive,
for its touches are deathly. But if
the oil Is burned down in your lamp,
the gas is not, of sufficient power to
do any injury; therefore, let me beg
of you never to defer the operation of
lamp-filling to another day, but see
yourself that it is done. When /
read of deaths occurring from trying
to light fires with kerosene, 1 always
think the verdict of the cOrOner's
jury should be, "Served them right"
for it seems impossible to believe that
any mortal could be SO foolish as to
tamper with such a highly inflamable
liquid. Better try tokindle fires with
a powder can, well-filled, than with
the contents of your kerosene can.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
Why Women OF Ideas Fall.

Many a woman wears herself out In
her very prime-puts all the wine Of
her life into one hasty beaker, and
empties it i'm sacrifice at the feet of hel
destiny, and has never thereafter any
thing more so good. to give the rest
is all dregs, made up of broken spir
it, impaired nerves, frctful complain
ings and fruitless aspirations. WO
men have grand ideas, earnest inten
tons and very noble aims. One
means to be q great author, another
is i'm love with science, another has
taken upon herself to prove that wO
men are meant to reform political
science. They 60 to work splendidly
What dash-what enthusiasm-whai
nerve! / look on admiringly, even
though my admiration is broken in
upon by presageful sigh when
think how, i'm most cases, 1t is all 60.
ing to end. For lack of pluck, of in.
dustry, of stability? No. Simply
for lack of judiciOus investment OF
time and strength. 1t really does
seem that when woman gets an idea
into her head she hasn't room fOrany
other beside it. Her project takes
possession of her. 1t eats with her,
walks up and down with her, and fills
every place. Now, the human mind
is not so constituted as to be able to
stand this sort of thing often or long.
1t either drives ordinary people era
~ or breaks them down mentally Oh
physically. Men have the common
sense to recognize this fact. do not
like to affirm that they have more
cOnsecutiveness than women, but ]
do affirm that this faculty I'm them
il cultivated and trained, while wO-
men, with oceans oftime to do every
thing i'm, as rule, are never up to
time. Yet they are always tagging
away at the grand hour. A man has
certain hours i'm which to do his work,
and when those hours are over he puts
on his hat, leaves his business in the
Office, and goes off somewhere for q
change-plays with the children, Wis
its friends or goes to the theatre--and
after that to bed and to sleep. Con-
sequently, he comes fresh to his work
the next day, takes it up where he left
off, and is much better able to pick q
knotty problem than If he had been
all the time worrying over 1t. There
is much more I'm unconscious cerebral
ton than most Of us believe.-HO,c-
ard Giyden.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
ArlstOcracy OF Mind.

Intelligence Is the true criterion OF
greatness. We often see persons who
are styled aristOcracy, with feelings
of pity, if not of contempt, realizing,
as we do, the shallOwness Of brain,
intellect and culture. Intellect Is Il
glorious star, that only fades when life
expires. The rich man may lose his
wealth by misfortune, or he who owes
his position to the accident of birth,
and invariably he fails to support him
self in the walks of life in which the
change of wealth places him. But
the intellectual man has a source OF
never-failng riches within, which is
like a good vein of ore, the more it is
wrought the more it produces. There
fore, we claim, there Is but one stand
ard OF greatness, and that is intelli-
gence and whether In the halls of
the great, or the humble cot of the
lOwly, we are proud to render it hon.
age In our land successful intelli-
gence is not confined, us in the Old
World, to the lordly palace and gild-
ed halls of the mobiles, but we find ii
i'm the workshop, at the blacksmith's
forge, behind the plOw, and at the
humble fireside of the poor. The
humblest scholar may become the
great statesman, the poorest student
the eloquent orator.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
How IL Happened.

The late horrible accident on the
Great Western Railroad of Canada,
by which ten or twelve persons were
i'm a few moments roasted beyond re-
cOgnitiOn, is one of which the Occa-
sion and responsibility are not hard
to fix. A kerosene oil lamp in the
saloon at the front end of passenger
car, fell, and broke, and instantly be-
came a fierce fire. Before it was no.
ticed, It was beyond the power of the
passengers to smother, and the wind
of the fast-fying train carried the
flames through the cars as II through
the vent of q furnace. AZ.
Obviously it was case in which the
train was to be stopped as quickly as
possible. Every moment OF delay
cost a lite. But In this awful crisis,
the means of stopping the train were
found missing. Here Is the cOnduc-
tors statement of the fatal fact:
There wasGno bell-rOpe on the train.
We always carry one, and invariably
use it when we have no oil tanks on.
We don't take on tanks every night.
Sometimes two or three or four nights
out of the week. We don't carry the
rope with the oil tanks because there
is no place for It. 1t would be apt to
catch. rendering IL unserviceable. 1
thought Il better to depend upon our
own exertiOns than upon the bell
rope. The rule of the company al
WAYS suppOses us to carry q bell-rOpe,
no matter what the train is made up
of. don't think wood, gravel and
iron trains carry them. No permits
sion from headquarters was ever
granted to me to go without bell
rope. The station master at London,
Mr.. Knight, knew that was in the
habit of going without bell-rope,
having told him that i wished he
would let me go'without tank cars be-
cause could not pull bell-rope over
them. At the speed we were running
that night the trains usually go a few
hundred yards before stopping. Had
we had a bell rope on that night and
worked IL, we might have stopped
within a few hundfed yards.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
COurtslIp and Marriage.

1t Is singular fact, says Partisan
writer, that a man generally requires
very different qualities in wife
from those he admires in sweetheart.
While lover he expected to see his
future wife neatly and stylishly
dressed whenever he chose to call,
either morning or evening; and the
girl busted her little brain all day in
efforts to please his taste. If he left
town for few days he sent letters
full Of sweet nothings that filled her
soul with joy. Then came delight
full rambles In the moonlight, and
hours spent I'm charming tete-a-tetes
after the family had retired, when
the two saw no one but each other I'm
their world OF love. Alas! that such
bliss must ever be dispelled. Time
brought preparations for the APP
preaching wedding; for this devoted
couple imagined that their happiness
could never be complete until the
hymenial knot was tied. So the we'd
ding was soon over, and the parties
settled into the matter-of-fact part of
life. The bride knows nothing of
housekeeping. Since her schOOl-days
she has spent her time In studying
the tastes Of her lover, which GER
tainly seem to incline toward dress
and sentimentality. Now, alas ! she
discovers that his stomach demands
food of the best quality, and because
she knows not how to cater to his
palate his love seems to be waning.
While he Is vainly trying to appease
hunger with sour bread and burned
steak, little does he appreciate the
sweet nonsense and h0neyed words
which used to be so satisfying to his
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26

sentimental nature. All, men are so
unreasonable They expect to find
every quality of excellence In the
woman they marry, yet have not
penetration sufficient to choose the
most worthy. To shine in society,
to exhibit every feminine accom-
plishment, both at home and abroad ,
are duties which they require In the
women they marry; and what have
they to give In return? 1t seems i'm
possible that those delicate attentions
which characterize the lover should
be so withdrawn by the husband
The other day when heard neigh
Dor demanding his dinner In not the
most pleasant tone, thought, "Can
1t be possible that he ever played the
ardent lover to that pale, detected
woman whom he calls his wife?'
The lover who could scarcely tear
himself away from his sweetheart al
midnight Is the same man who now
leaves his wife to spend her evenings
as best she may, while he passes the
hours I'm doubtful enjoyment. All
how soon men forget the solemn vow
to love and cherish till death And
how many women regret that the
charming decisions OfcOurtship were
ever exchanged for the unpleasant re-
alitics OF marriage!
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
The Difference.

Genius rushes like whirlwind,
talent marches like a cavalcade OF
heavy men and heavy horses, clever
ness skins like swallow in the sum-
mer evening, with a sharp, shrill
note and sudden turning. The man
of genius dwells with man and with
nature; the man of talent I'm his
study; but the clever man dances
here, there and everywhere, like a
butterfly in a hurricane, striking ev.
erything and enjoying nothing, but
too light to be dashed to pieces. The
man of talent will attack theories,
the clever man will assail the indi-
vidual, and SANDER private charac-
ter. The man of genius despises
both he needs none, he fears none,
he lives i'm himself, shrouded in the
consciousness of his own strength |;
he interferes with none, and walks
forth an example that "eagles fly
alOne-they arc but sheep that herd
together" 1t is true, that. should a
poisonous worm cross his path he
may tread IL under foot; should a
cur snarl at him he may chastise him !;
but he will not, cannot, attack the
privacy of another. Clever men
write verses, men of talent write
prose, but the man Of genius writes
poetry. tDi
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
Measuring Hay.

TO measure a stack of hay, proceed
as follows IF II Is ground stack,
tapering from the ground to point,
measure the width half way from
the ground to the peak of the stack
multiply this width by itself, and
divide il. byg7S54 this will give the
average area of the surface covered
by the stack. Then multiply that by
the height from the ground TO the
point were the width was measured.
If these measurements are feet the
sum found is the cubic feet i'm the
stack. If the hay is orchard grass,
timothy, Inillet Or hungarian, 800
feet will make ton or cube eight
feet each way. If the stack is very
solid, and was cut when dead ripe,
$50 feet will make ton. If ii il
clover or meadow grass or redtop
800 feet will be required to make u
ton, unless it is pressed very hard,
when some allowances must be made.
If the hay is nmixed with clover,
about 700 feet, or u cube of nine feet
each way will make ton. The es-
Inmates are made from notes of u
great many stacks and mOws of var
ious kinds, and will give fair
average, o.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
YOur Own Judge.

A mans mind Is court, and his
passions are all of them tricky law
yers. In ordinary times, you cannot
90 into any court, and hear the state
ments of the counsel, without feel
ing that there Is a great deal of inge-
nuity eXerted to cover up some
things, and unduly magnify other
things, so as to make out the best
possible case for the side whose
interest it Is the desire of the special
pleaders to advance. But there sits
the old, stupid judge = stupid be-
cause he will be just and he puts the
lawyer right on this side, and the
lawyer right on that side, and holds
everything to the law and to the
fact, that he may come ut justice, at
least in theory. Now every man has
a Judge within him-his conscience.
And there are many men whose con-
sciences have been bribed and when
they are presiding over the court
which isconstantly held in the heart,
they are all the while excusing them
selves for giving their adherence to
things that are wrong.
And this happens, not once, nor
twice, nor thrice, but scores of times,
In the experience of men. And they
need to be reminded that, in every
case, appeal Is taken to a court where
righteous judgments are declared
They need to get such visions of the
Judgment day that they shall holi
their breath, that their consciences
shall not dare to be bribed, and that
they shall look at everything In the
light of eternitv.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
How the Apaches Propose.

Even those cOpper-cOlOred cut
Threats, tho Apache Indians, have a
touch of delicacy and romance in
them. Colonel John G. Ceremony
gives the following account of their
counting custom: Every young girl
is at liberty to refuse sutton for her
hand. The father, mother and broth
er are prohibited from interfering
with her choice. Her person is at her
own disposal. After brief court
ship the lover makes u formal prOpo-
sal by offering so many horses. Horses
are standard Ofvalue among the In
dians. AS the squaw does all of the
work, horses are accepted as an equiv
alent for her labor. When a young
warrior becomes enamOred, he fastens
his horse near the wigwam of the
squaw whose hand he seeks, where he
is left four days. If she fails to feed
and water the horse during that time,
the master is rejected; but If she ac-
cepts his offer she grOOms and kindly
cares for the horse, and then ties him
to the wigwam of her lover, as much
as to say, 81 am willing to be your
slave and do your work." At the
marriage the sages and sachems meet
together, and the bride is not unfre-
quently loaded with forty or fifty
pounds of silver and copper trinkets.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
The Unpopular Talker.

OF all exasperating takers, he who
never listens to what other people
say, but manages to make himself
leader of every conversation, is the
most trying to his listeners equa-
nimity. To be sure, he is brilliant,
ready, fluent, demanding attention,
and fascinating enough to command
1t; but he is just sharp, tonguey, in
cisive and opiniated enough to excite
q slight reaction; to create a-half-
conscious inward protest, and a kind
Of distrustful vigilance, which dis
counts almost everything that this
conversational expert says, and par
ticularly his most brilliant and en-
phatic sayings. There is just sus-
piciOn that there is more wisdom of
words than of heart, more excellency
Of speech than of character. He lays
down his opinions like gauntlets,
and yet as If not expecting them to
be taken up. He would be ingen-
uOusIy surprised to have them Gues-
toned, except for explanation or in
formation. His eagerness to show
his own opinions rObs the opinions
Of others from receiving even re-
spectacle attention; and the holders
Of said OPTIONS are just enough dis
turbed by his self-cOnceit to render
him an exasperating talker. There
Is another variety of this class-thOse
who are bound never to agree to any
thing that may be said without some
how correcting 1t, reminding you
what you meant to say, or what you
omitted to say, or what you would
have said If you had known, or taken
q minute more to think, or insisting
that you really did know better.
This kind of exasperating talk is
generally all in the family. It makes
outdoors great relief, and. hotels
comfort. 1t drives the wife to
"mother's," to enjoy "tea" and pet
ting the husband to the club-roOm
or billiard hall-aDywhere, in fact,
where its victims can "assert them
selves" occasionally. For such minor
evils as this lie at the root Of all
human happiness or misery.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-26
A Dry Joke.

On n sleeping car the other night,
one lady exclaimed, I'm q slow and
solemn voice, ooh, how dry am 2"
There was u moments pause and
again rang out, ooh, how dry am 7"
Another moment passed, and the
DOING sleepers were once more start
led by the sephulchral information,
ooh, how dry am - won't some.
body get that woman drink ?n
howled an old gentleman, who, being
rheumatic, and occupying an upper
berth, could not very well do it him.
self. The demand was complied with,
and the grateful sound of gurgling
water was soon heard. Then there
was moment of silence, and follow
ing it came the same solemn tones,
"Oh, how dry / was ?" There APP
peared to be no doubt about IL by the
occupants Of the car, and, If the truth
could have been known, they were
unselflshly glad that she had found
relief; and they composed themselves
afresh for sleep. Then the voice
again smOte the air: ooh, how dry
/ was" Everybody started, and
every eye was distended. ooh, how
dry / was I" repeated the grateful wO-
man. "Then dry up!" screamed the
gallant gentleman I'm the upper berth.
She did.--ITuckee Repu6iictm.