davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
PHUNNYGRAMS.

DE Quincy somewhere tells an an
ecdote of man who, on being threatened
with assault by eighteen tailors, cried
out, Come on, both of your
Talking about upsetting sleighs,
Wicks remarked to young lady he was
taking out to drive, 81 always pick out
the softest place | can when | upset my
sleigh" She replied, "Why, l should
think it would grow monOtonous, always
falling on your head"
"A mule on Colonel Selden's place in
Miry Brook has the whooping cough. 1t
has its coughing spells in the night, and
were it the only son of a greatly beloved
king it could not have more attentive
auditory than that which bounds out of
the beds in the neighborhood on the
occurrency of paroxysm.- Da1a6atr,y
NeWs.
AN Irish glazier was putting pane
of glass into window, when a groom
who was standing by began joking him,
telling him to mind and put in plenty of
putty. The Irishman bore the banter for
some time, but at last silenced his tor
mentor with: "Arrah, now be off wild
ye, or else I'll put pain in yer head
without any putty"
gratuity from an excessively dandified
individual, who in resisting urged that he
had no change, nothing but twenty
dollar bill. 81 can get it changed for
YER" said the youngster. On seeing the
dandy hesitate as if from fear of trusting
him with twenty-dollar bill, he put in
again, "lf yer doubts my honor, hold my
broom"
Now is the season for molasses candy
pulls-the attractive season when men sit
unsuspiciously down in chair and con-
clude to stay there; when maidens are
unable to close their mouths because of
coagulated candy in their back hair; and
when cats walk gravely into the pan set
out on the veranda to cool, and make
Rome howl as it fastens them in it's sweet
embrace.
There is amost ingenious Marshal in
Flushing, L. l., gentleman who is re-
markable for the success of his little
games on people. Just before New Years
a little girl gave him two dollars to get her
a pair of gloves in New York, for pres
ent The Flushing Marshal got the
gloves for dollar and a quarter, told the
little girl they cost one dollar and three
quarters, gave her a quarter change, put
the half dollar in his pocket, and nearly
chuckled himself into case of apoplexy
over the success of his operation. New
Years morning his wife presented him
pair of gloves, and explained how she
had secretly arranged for their purchase
with a little girl. The Flushing Marshal
put the gloves in his pocket, smiled
lightly, and narrowly escaped fainting
dead away.-DG961Lry Neaos.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
Dangers of Miscellaneous Smoking.

THE Paris Figaro gives the following
details of an extraordinary robbery of
jewelry:
GA Partisan commission merchant, III.
Cohn, had purchased quantity of iewelry
for London houses to the value of $4,000.
On the evening Of his departure for Lon
don he dined with number of his clerks,
who accompanied him to the station.
where he got into an empty compartment
of the train which was to take him to
Calais. Some minutes later four persons
entered the carriage, and, although he
would have preferred to be alone, finding
there was no time for change, he engaged
in conversation with them, at the same
time keeping his hand on the travelling
bag which contained his valuables. On
arriving at Calais, the strangers disap-
peared. N. Cohn proceeded on board
the boat. He was Immediately joined by
a person whom he recognized as one of
his fellow-travelers in the train, and who.
after a short discussion ON the evils of
sea-sickness, offered him cigar, which
he refused. His interlocutor, however.
was very pressing, and rendered a case of
what he called real Havanas, which Mr..
Cohn believes now, although he did not
specially notice at the time, was not the
same as the stranger himself had. In the
end Mr.. Cohn took cigar, and lighted
and commenced smoking it, when he at
once became insensibfe. On recovering
he found he was at Dover, and that his
travelling bag and impromptu acquaint-
ance had disappeared. Three trains were
about to start. A search was made for
both bag and stranger, and the tele-
graph was put into play, but without
success"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
CONGRESSIONAL.

In the Senate, on the I'd, the House
bill changing the time of meeting of the United
States District Court in Iowa was passed, with an
amendment fixing the time of meeting at Council
Bluffs on the fourth Mondays in March and Sep
tcmber of each year. instead of the third TUESDAYS
of those months. Mr.. Morton concluded his re-
marks on Louisiana affairs. He reviewed
the argument of the Senator from Wiscon-
sin (Carpenter), and contended that the Kellogg
Government was the legal government of the
State the President and the other House of Con-
gress having recognized it The recognition of
that government by the President was in pursu-
ance of law. The proposition to set aside the
State Government of Louisiana and order new
election was one of the graves character II
could not be done without setting aside portion
of the Constitution of Louisiana If Con-
gress should order new election now. the
Constitution of Louisiana would require another
one for members of the Legislature next Noyem-
Der. After Mr. Morton concluded the debate was
further participated in by Messrs. Frelinghuysen.
Carpenter and Stewart. :. The House Joint resolU
tion for a special court of inquiry in the case of
General o. o. Howard was adopted, with verbal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
FACTS AND FIGURES.
PHILADELPHIA is S61, 100000 in debt.

Philadelphia is SCI 100000 in debt
There are 1922 saw-mills in Califor
nia-202 run by steam and 1870 by water
power.
Colts revolver company is making
a gun which will discharge 200 bullets
per minute.
Massachusetts has an army of 1928
officers and men, which cost the State last
year $170,000.
The cod fisheries of the Shoumagin
Islands, Alaska, have yielded $4,000 fish
during the past season.
From an estimate based on its new
city directory, New Orleans claims
population Of 230,985.
in 1873 Denver claims to have done
a business of $15,000,000, and increased
its population 5000.
Philadelphia ranks next after New
York among the ports of the Atlantic
seaboard in the amount Of its grain ex-
ports.
Two and half millions are invested
in the shoe business in Auburn, Me. The
value Of the product of 1873 was nearly
$5,000,000.
Last year twenty-four establishments
IN henneDec ana hnOX counties, Maine,
cut and housed 301, 900 tons of ice, valued
at $685., 900.
Rhode Island, with population of
about 100000, has 124 savings banks and
B, 124 depositors. The average amount
of each deposit is $50O50
From carefully complied statistics it
is computed that mercantile failures
amounting to 1928, 499, 600 occurred the
last year in the United States.
The Bay City Tribune says that if
that city increases in population for the
next year as it has for the last, it will be
the largest city in the Saginaw Valley in
1875.
The amount of petroleum in the crust
of the earth is enormous The wells OF
Pennsylvania yield 100000 barrels per
year-more than all the whale fisheries
ever produced in year.
Petroleum was shipped from Phila-
delphia last year to different European
and foreign ports; and the total quantity
shipped was 1924, 1862 gallons, against
56,009, $40 gallons in the previous year.
The whaling business-except in
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
POLITICAL.

The Kansas Legislature on the I'd elected ex-
Governor James M. Harvey to succeed Mr.
Caldwell in the United States Senate Mr.. H.
is a Reform Republican, and is reported to
have said, in response to question as to
whether he considered his election a victory
for the straight Republicans or for the Reform
ers, that he regarded it unquestionably in
favor of the latter. The final ballot on which
Mr.. Harvey was elected stood: Harvey, rs;
Plumb, 20; Simons, Is; all others, q.
Governor Ingersoll, of Connecticut, and his
associates in the State Government were
unanimously renominated by the Democratic
State Convention held at New Haven on the
Sd. The resolutions adopted declare devotion
to the Constitution; affirm that the people of
the several States have the right of governing
of the Constitution; denounce corruption
and extravaganza in high official places;
favor retrenchment and reform in
National and State governments; condemn the
''salary grabbers' ring of politicians and land
monopolists; denounce the present federal
administration and the procuring of
money from the VIGOROUSLY corrupt ring of
Washington politicians for the purpose of
controlling elections in the State of Connecti-
cut;' charge the panic and its results to the
policy pursued by the Government; demand
speedy return to specie payments; condemn
land grants and monopolies; favor legislation
beneficial to the industrial classes, ETC., etc.
The Illinois House of Representatives has
adopted a joint resolution that "our Sen
ators in Congress be instructed and our
Representatives be requested to provide by
law some mode of procedure for preventing
any corporation, person or persons owning or
using Interstate lines of railway from
charging, demanding or receiving unreasona-
bic or extortionate rates for the transporta-
ton of freights, passengers and cars over
such lines of railway, and for preventing
unjust discrimination in rates charged for
such transportation"
A Topeka (Kansas) special of the Sd says
the election of Ex-Governor Harvey as United
States Senator is Republican victory
The Mississippi Legislature has elected as
United States Senators B. L. Bruce (colored)
for the long term, and II. R. Pease, late Su-
perintendent of Education, for the short
term-both Republicans.
The Patrons of Husbandry of Iowa have
been requested by the State Senate to put in
to the shape of bill the regulations to which
they would like to have the railroads sub
mitted.
Governor Woods, of Utah, has vetoed a
memorial of the Legislature calling for an in.
quiry by Congress into affairs in that Terri.
tory. He states that he is not aware that q
majority of Utah are accused of disloyalty
and does not consider it necessary for Congress
/ to investigate this charge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
DOMESTIC.

At a large meeting of prominent iron and
nail manufacturers recently held in Pittsburgh.
the selling rates for nails were advanced 1917
cents per key.
A fire in Cleveland on the S1st ult DESTROYED
over 100000 worth of property, on which
there was an insurance of about $4,000
A most daring robbery was committed on
the evening of The 31st ult., on the Iron
Mountain Railway. As the train which
left st. Louis at 9:45 in the morning came
in sight of Gad's Hill Station, 12O miles
below st. Louis, it was signaled to stop.
The switch was turned and the train run on a
side track. As the train stopped, Conductor
Afford stepped of to ascertain what the
matter was, when he was confronted by a
man in a mask, pistol placed to his
head, and he was marched OFF under
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
How They Measured the Flagstaff.

The following, by correspondent of
the Christian Era, suggests that many
studies dreaded by the. young and COM
monty supposed to be hard and uninter-
esting may be made as easy as fun.
told the boys to go over and measure
the height of the flagstaff on Georges
Hill, in Paramount Park, and they looked
at me in establishment, asking at the same
time how they could do it-fOr both they
and | knew they could not climb to the
top. So l explained to them how they
might do it, without going to the top
and they made the instrument themselves
with which to do it.
They got a square rail, about four feet
long; then, at one end, they nailed to it,
at right angles, straight stick three feet
high; exactly one foot distant, they nailed
another straight stick four feet high,
then another, one foot distant, five feet
high
The instrument was complete, and they
all started over to the fiag-pole with
it. When they got as near to the pole as
they thought the pole was high, they
plumbed it, by holding a string, with a
stone tied to it, at the top of one of the
sticks; the stick was made to stand just
as straight up and down as the string.
Then they sighted, or looked along the
tops of the upright sticks, at the fiag-pole.
By moving the instrument just to the
right place, they made the sticks grange"
with the top of the pole; that is, while
looking over the top OF the three sticks,
their eyes, seeing the end OF the sticks all
the while, saw also the very top Of the
| f1ag-pole.
By measuring then, from that spot to
the flag pole, along the ground, they were
| able to tell me that the f1ag-sta1 was one
hundred and twelve feet distant from
them. and so the flagstaff was one hun
dred and twelve feet high
Now this was simple application of
geometry. a lesson that looks "awful"
hard to boys at school, but was only fun
learned in this way.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

to sing and pray outside. Business houses
were closed all day for prayer. The saloon
keepers were all willing to be bought out, but
this was positively declined. Reinhart subse-
quently came to terms and quit the business.
Over half the saloons in the place had sue
cumbed before the prayers and tears of hun
bred women
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

The story of that Louisiana bride
turning to stone by drinking water from a
bowlder turns out to be fabrication. She
merely turned" to Charles and asked if
her dear mother couldn't always live with
them. Charles was the one who turned
to stone.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

Tom Sankey was recently hanged in
Montgomery, Ala. The Adpert5ser says:
"The Sheriff stepped upon the scaffold
and adjusted the moose around his neck.
While doing so Tom said in tremulous
voice, 'Good-by, my friends The cap
was then drawn over his face, and with
his face now hid from view he sang aloud,
Hang me high and stretch me wide, and
let the world see how died. AS the last
words passed from his lips two strokes
from the Ratchet of the executioner
knocked the prop from under Tom, and
his soul was launched into eternity"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

-''Six feet in his bootsi" exclaimed
Mrs. Beeswax; ''what Will the 1mpudence
of this world come to, wonder! Why,
they might as well tell me that the man
had six heads in his hat"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

"A Titusville paper says: "a man
called at one OF our shoe stores yesterday,
and vainly essayed to get on either No.
eleven, or twelve, or thirteen shoes. The
storekeeper then suggested that he should
put on a thinner pair of stockings and
try on the box"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

"A line of Lake Superior steamers
took from Duluth last season 1919, 601
bushels of wheat and 128,O01 barrels of
flour.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

THE NEWS.
English Parliamentary Elections
conservative Gains.
Bloody Riots i'm Several
Localities.
Meeting of the National Grange of
the Patrons of HuSbandry.
Public Debt Statement.
February 1.
The Praying Temperance Movement
in Ohio.
Serious Accident ON the North
western Railroad.
Four Persons Consumed in a Burninu
Building at Evansville, Ind.
Ex-Governor James Nj. Harvey Elected
u. 5. Senator from Kansas.
Daring Robbery on the Iron Mountain
Railway i'm Missouri.
Election of Republican United States
Senators from Mississippi.
Many Other Interesting News
Items.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

AT Des Moines, Iowa, not long ago,
a child fifteen months old died from drink
ing concentrated lye.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

Many Other Interesting News
Items.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12

guard The engineer, fireman, mail agent,
express messenger and other train men
were then seized by five masked, heavily-armed
men, and also placed under guard The rob-
bers then went through the entire train. and
took from the passengers about $1,000, and
over 1000 from the Adams Express messen-
ger, and riied the mail. The robbers then left
in southerly direction, and after the release
of the train men the train started southwark.
There were only twelve male passengers on
the train. There were five ladies and several
children. The robbers also took $500 from
citizens of Gad's Hill
The following is the public debt statement
February ]:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12


persisted in the flames. The details show the
suffering of the victims TO have been terrible
There were, when the fire broke out, about
ten persons in the house, including Mr.. Mehr,
his wife and six children. Mrs. Mehr seized
two of the children and rushed through
the flames, and a boarder seized an
other of the children. Mr.. Mehr rushed
out, and, seeing that some of the chill
dren were missing, again ran into the house
and was not again seen alive. When found he
clasped in his arms the three children who
had been left behind, the four bodies being
burned almost to crisp. Most of the other
inmates were more or less burned.
! Charl es Wyatt, a negro who recently MUIR
dered and robbed a woman named Mrs. Ryan,
near Carbondale, Illinois, was subsequently
| taken from the Jail at Murfreysboro and
hanged by mob of 400 or 500 persons. He
confessed his guilt.
! On the morning of the 5th the Green Bay
night express train, about twenty rods north
of the Kishawaukee bridge, near Harvard,
! H., struck broken rail. throwing three pas
| senger coaches, Pullman sleeper, baggage
| car and second-class car into the ditch
! twenty-feet below. The stove in the baggage
| car was overturned and set fire to the car, and
as there was no means of extinguishing the
flames the entire train and contents were con-
sumed Forty persons were more or less IL
jured, but no lives were lost, the passengers
escaping from the burning cars by means of
the windows.
The praying temperance movement was
still being successfully prosecuted in many Sec
tons of Ohio on the 9th. At Ripley L. Rein
hart gave the ladies an invitation to come to
his saloon, and then shut them
out in the storm, where they
sang and prayed for some time. Reinhart
knocked on and slammed his door angrily and
displayed revolver, but the ladies continued
, 1874-05-13
THE FARMERS AND THE CURRENCY.

Lcttor from W. @. .EInRE, Esq, Prehi.
don't OF tito 6tttto .Elrilcrss ,Assocaa4.
tldli. -'.' y ''' = :"
10 thu Editor a. The Chicago 7Ttbiine: " -, -.
SIM. / lua tue following :erelited to the Gill
cago Journal Of tho 7th Of hlay i'll TnE tribune
oil the 8th ,.., ., ~, :,
1 nad conversation with W. O. riaag, ths prc,tiopt
q TIN atate rar,uer.' Asaocaton aSI .iao wi,h tu
Cha!rnMn Of tho Stata Advisory Doard,. which llaB
tAt adjourned, and hayn tnried tint 10 IA strong
advocate Ut tho President In hts veto Of tho Imitation
leehng in ar'nts. tavor arn"g 'ho layinfng easaos
60 fur ia p Arcn Au ho icaIs that thutu viii Id
nlllcn daYer Of thu FarnlrtB' AsHon4lf3n wrecklng
their his iplItiual annrl Oh this rock. j.. ..ul :;
:::Tilia extract does not cxpross my opinions, Il
It is lrue that. following our mupoy needs
improvement III quality ratIor thaii inorenAe til
quantity, 'boiiovo President Grant did right In
vetoing thu j" inllation BILL" !! Dut in this I,
bcoye I belong to u minority Of our Weatern
farlnors, and Do not know Of any strong focllng
in Grants favor amoug tho farming classos
therefor. And whilst consider tho currency
qucBtion an important md possibly dangerous
one for the TURNER'S Association ID meet, |
think their chancos Of survival quito aS good as
thote Of Tho Republican and Democratic parties,
Which are also divided on thiH important iunrter
:. Iho poBttion that tho atato EArn,era' ABdoclR-,
ton has takeD, mud Which tho Advisory Doard
had not the n,atlorify 10 nlolify, oi this ques-
tlnn iB expressed III AreaoluLlon adopted at Do
Gatur. ,.-..- . 49,, =
Rexoira!, THAT wo favor Tic rcpca1 Of tbs National
Bankug law, aud believe that thu Government should
hnpRy a. l.gal.ten1er curre,loy directly from thu
bearing thd lowest rossibs ratio Of interest. =.
Respectfully, yours, J. VIC. FIAao. =
, 1874-05-13

Port Of Chicago, May IL.
AnU3TyFtSTE

/: Port Of Ohicago, May IL.
Prop Nasuo, Oglensburgh, sundries.
athr Gypsy, Muskcgon, lunlhaf.
Bchr Mary, Muskegon, lumpor.
Btmr Ooroua, st. Joaoph. suudrtea.
6tmr M shehoygan, M@anitowoc, @ s.lnsris'.
schr Dryer, Gontcryie. cedar posts.
Hchr g, Barber. htMskeR1n, lumber,
Bchr D. Nswhall. hluskDgon, lumber.
@ senr no4s 7 9slle, Grand y Haven, lumber.
Bchr Petrel, hIuskcgon. lumbor.
Behr -Four brothc.s, Holland, wood. :
Btmr Alpena, Muskegon. sundrlea.
Be1lr O. Miclielson, Lulington, lumber.
Prob Cuba, Uut1nlo, sundrics. (
Prop g: z. Heath, sangatuok, eundrlos.
Hohr Glad Ttdinga. Auskegon, lumber.
svow Marion Dixon, arand Haven, lumber.
schr Lnuberman, Dlsck oreek, lumber.
Hcow Louisa Btro'n, Saugaturk, wood.
Hoow 1rnnger. Ut. Paula Pier, Lumbar.
ae,r 9: L. Johason. saugaturk, Lumbar.
hchr ForoncG, salgatuck, lumber.
6cpw LaurIna, 6a.Hatuck, WOOD.
Hclr G. u. Roberts, Mtlakegop, lumber.
sohr Annis II. Petorson, Green Bay, shnslos.
sehr s,1. Anl1s A. . .: nan1on, Al.aiAtso, !umhcr.
Hcllr Emeline, Ludington, lumber.
Bcllr Regulator, rentwatet, lumber.
Rcow 8pray. Holland, lumber =
Hchr A, ]. Mowry, Ltncoln lumber. ,ft7. M.
sclr Speed, Grand Haven, lumber. ~
schy Monticello, Kincaruino, salt.
Bcbr QAsa, hlaniatee. Lumbar,
acow ses BIRD. Grand Haven, lumber.
Frop M NswInrsl, baiislos, sIS; st;;n,iries. 'tGS''
achr uRrrletta Anne, Grand Nuyeu lumber.
Behr Vim. 1oncs, LulwlY's rec, Lumbar. .,
Prop ohlns, 1analoi auudrits:
Barge HArnony, hanlstss. lumbar. "
CLEARED.
atnr sheaoyaan' aAnltowoo bsls oil, and spndr}ee
, 1874-05-13
THE MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY TROUBLE.


ANN AnHon, Mich, May o.-It appears that
among the eghty-ono lately dismissed by tile
Faculty il Freshman whoae punishment 10
made moro severe than that of his fellows on
the ground that he bud been guilty OF IN addi-
tlonal and Rravor offence Of gambling,
0n tha' charge, aud the general Charge Of
haztnR," " he has boon expelled. It Ia aassrted
by his friends that the ,offeuse complained OF
was committed before the holidays, and coneiat-
cd of but single act. Since that time, the
young man has exhibited all tho evidence Of q
reformation and religious conversion; hus be-
Mems Christian Association, and has been
an earnest worker In their recent revival meet
ings in the University. Perhaps tho action Of
the Faculty, SO long withheld In liB caso. was
aided by the fact thnt The young man was in. In.
strumontal in tho presentation Of the petition
in which their classmates esponsed tho cause of
tue first six suspended. Tile name OF the un-
fortunate appeared In ink. whilo tho other sigma
tures we're ia pencil, thus afrorling reason for
the belief that he had written the piper.