The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1874-08-29
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Whosoever may read these lines,
will ever fail to know the writer. He
speaks as from cloud, and his name
was only written in water. Apall has
fallen between him and humanity. His
record is sealed. There were books
sealed also, which hone but strong
angel could open. But this little man
uscript, although sure to be read by
many, explains all that can be known.
The author is myth, q shadow, as
traceless as the "airy tongues that
syllable mems names in desert wilder
nesses." All the powers of earth and
air would fail to find out one who for
decades Of years has been anonymous;
hiding his inmost heart, and himself
also, from all save the All-Seeing.
While the millions have courted the
glare of the worlds eye, he who writes
has Stunned it ever, folding in his heart
q nameless sorrow. And yet he loves
all that he spurns; and now, when pity
isaseless, and sympathy of no avail,
still cannot help in this short record to
acknowledge his brotherhood to other
men. If aught may be learned from it,
let the world have that knowledge; ii
it is idle, inane and pointless, it will
be no more so than the whole life of the
poor being who breathes put in sobs Of
anguish these last utterances. as he ex
pires on rack more terrible than the
cross.
A life Of happiness has been crushed
out in its inception, and all the wealth
of strong, good nature, lost through
one single evil impulse. Whence it
came | know not; but that it came,
wrecked life is the evidence. Of early
childhood | remember but little, save
that it was dream of joy. Although
| knew it not then, | see now that
which distinguished me from my mates
was wildly sensitive nature, so full
of trembling delicacy, that, when
others were unmoved, my whole being
oftimes throbbed in ecstacy. That
somehow, was or became
a piece of me, and wrought my ruin
There was power in everything that
touched me as it did not touch others
A strain Of music struck my whole ma
ture like lightning, and ! quivered be-
meath its notes like harpstring under
the impulse Of players hand. To-
this hour, upon the street, ! cannot for
bid my footsteps to follow the rhythm
Of march. There is something so
much grander and greater in it than
the world hears, that l must follow it
and respond with my whole nature to
the keynote, whether of jubilee or wall.
It was even SO with all else Of the
beautiful. Long before advancing
years brought to me knowledge OF
nigh art in its sublime manifestations
could weep over sunset. or spend
ong. happy hours in dreaming upon
he glory Of smile
All, how little did then know of the
LANCER lurking in my own nature!
How little could | forecast Of the APP
FALLING strength Of the temptations
which were to wreck my life! There
vas somewhat. too, in my surroundings
md delicate culture that went farther
han my original sensitivencss in max
ng me the sport of tempting influences.
n our beautiful home, situated in a
'harming valley Of the South, there
lever was an attempt made by any to
ontrol me. The servants had no will
ut mine. Ny father and mother so
ejoiced in their son, that they sought
lot to control his actions. was fish.
ng, or sailing or upon the far.reaching
liver, exploring the wide forests, gun ,
n hand, or lonngiug in the quaint old
brary. All! that library. Who
nows that in its recesses, as with un-
ntored judgments and fancy free, I
tilted, like a bee among flowers,
trough the old poets, did not gather {
Of poison as well as sweet?
Olson to me, since it wrought to still
igher tensions an organism already
Yet, with such nature as | inherit.
i, it looks to me now that / might :
ave grown to usefulness and honor, +,
ad it not been for one single tempta- =
wine cup. ! did not seek it, :
or did any one Willingly tempt me. .