The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1874-02-13
ggisrellareuns,
THE SECRET OF THE GRANGE.
An Initiation of the Patrons OF Hus-
bandry.

THE SECRET OF THE GRANGE.
An Initiation of the Patrons OF Hus-
bandry.
The Randolph Eatapriss of last
week published the following account
of a Grsnger's initiatory ceremony:
On being brought into the ante
room of the lodge tGreengrocer
Temple, No. 101, } / was told that 1
had been bslIeted tor and accepted.
My informant, who was securely
masked by what l afterward learned
was a large, burdock leaf, perNorated
with holes for the eyes, told me that
IL valued ny lfetit would be neces-
ssry for me to strip. As did con-
slder thst1 OF considerable worth to
me, and az be italicized his wishes by
carelesslv pisying with q seven
shooter, -ssthdre% from nay gar
ments with eagerness. My masked
friend then furnished me with the
regalia of the first degree-called
THE Festive PlowboS'-which con-
sisted merely Of one large cabbage
leaf sttsched to q wsistbsnd- OF
potato vines. In this airy costume
/ was conducted to the door, where
my companion gave three distinct
-rsps: 4 was securely olindfolded |
by binding a slice of rutabaga over
each eye. A sepulehrsl voice from
within asked "Who comes 2"
My guide answered: "a youthful
a2riculturalist who desires to become
q Granger '---- =, =--,----.,.--- -.
I Sepuichral Voice -" Have you
looked him carefully oYer?"
Guide i have, noble gatekeeper.n
S-V.-Do you find any sgrTcultu-
raj marks about his person? nD----, '-
- Guide-"I do.1 -. .-- $780, -.. -..-
S. V.-"What are they?'
Guide-"The candidate has car
roty hair, reddish whiskers and .
turnIp nose" y -----~ 80 - s-..
S.-Y.-" 'Tis well. Why do you
desire to become 8 Granger 2'
Guide-(AnsWering for candidate)
"Tnat 1 may thereby be the better
enabled to hsrrow up the feelings Of
the rsscslly pOlisisisss2oJ
d. S. V.-"You will bring in the can
didste. My worthy stripping, Is yon
cannot see, ! will cause you to feel
that you are received at the door on
three points OF a pitch-fork, piercing
the region Of the stomach, which is
to teach you the three great virtues
Faith, Hope and Charity. Faith in
yourself, Hope tor cheaper farm ma
chinery, and Charity for the light
ming rod peddler. You will now be
harnessed, and in representation of
the horse, Pegasus, will be tested as
to endurance and wind" .-....
(The csndidste. Is here attached to
a small imitation plow, by means of
hempen harness. A dried pump
kin.vine is put in his mouth for bit
and 'bridle-he is made to get down
upon all fours, the guide seizes the
bride, and urged on by Granger,
armed with Canada thistle, which
he vigorously applies at the terminus
of the spine, the candidates. gallep-
ed three times around the room.
While making the circuit the mem
bers arise and sing:
Get up and dust, you bully boy
Who wouIdn' be q Granger7 -------. --.-
II the Ihistle's prick don't cause you Joy,
To feeling you must bea stranger. = -
After this violent exercise he il
rubbed dry with corn cobs, ees-waxed
where thistled, and brought up stand.
ing before the Great Chief-the
Most Worshiplul Pumpkin Head
|. NJ. W. P. H.-"Why do you de-
sire to be 8 Granger ? - -.--.----
Candidate answering for himself)
i-"Thst / may learn TO extingulsh
sewing mschine agents.'
III. W. P. H.-"Have your hands
been hardened with toll Pa --. ..---
Can6ida' e-"Not extensively, but
then am not running for Office"
NJ. w. P. H." 'Tis well, for our
Hodges contain several who are sup
posed to be ready to sacrifice them
selves for the good OF their csnstitu-
ents. Do you feel pretty smart this
evening 2" ...
Candidate-"Yes, where the hustle
goes on"
NJ. W. P. H. (ssvagely )-"Give
me q chew of tobscker 70 .-........
Candidate searching himself thor
oughly, but SIS there is no place about
him to stick pocket, tries to explain,
but the Most Worshi2iul Pumpkin
Head interrupts him
"Never mind, my dear young friend
Il am well aware that in your pres
ent condition, You can no more fur
nish your friends with the weed, than
Adam could be comfortable 10 plug
hat and tight boots. 1t % merely to
teach you the grsst lesson OF economy
doing to others as you'd like to
have them do to you. You will now
be conducted to the most Eminent
Sdussh Producer, who will teach you
the Grand Hsiling Sign OF Distress
The sign-mY 30 thy brother, will
ensure you against many OF the ills OF
the agriculturslist-smongst others,
against droughts and being bit By
the ferocious grssshopper." 30.
The candidate 10 now conducted to
the Most Eminent Squash Producer
who thus says, "My worthy brother,
/ will now invest you with the order
Of the Festive Pioughboy, which you
have well won by your heroic achieve
ment while hsrnessed-msy you ever
wesr it with pleasure to yourself and
NAV it be a means Of terror to your
enemies
The n. E. 8. P. then proceeds TO
invest the candidate with the regalia
of the Festive Ploughboy, which
consists Of long tomato necklace J
"The Grand Hsiling Sign OF Distress
is nade by laying the right forefnger
alongside the nose, and violently
Eagging the ears. Il requires prac-
tice, but the advantages are immense.
1t also has an important Specification,
which you will do well to heed. TIE
closing of the eye signifies that in all
your dealings with mankind You are
hound to have an eye TO business.
Laying the finger alongside the nose
is erblematical Of wisdom, snd places
YOU at once among the knowing ones
This is extremely handy in prognos-
ticsriDg, new weather, and saves the
vear and tear OF almsnses. Wag
eine the ears signifies sublimity OF
purpose, snd is thought to be emble-
matical of ehildhOod's hsppy hours.
1t is also supposed by some profound
sebolsrs to have q distinct references