The Grange advance., 1874-04-29

'undsrstood" tas* wlsusvsr IN .rtials ore sa
utte<aaee appssr. eyer, O. snder i sigma
ture Of ga. Gaylord spaldins, i untitled
"voiees of workia asmen, N represents
Mr.. spalding's voice and mine!
shall not. Mr.. Pfsstdsur: in tHe few
words have to say upon this question, in
troduce any new oe original argument.
shall only sttempts.to follow out in detail
the line Of thought presented by my pre-
decessor. and trace his positions to their
logical conclusions. which will endeavor to
do in as few words Al possible. Let me quote,
$50 in our day we have the system perfected
on grand and extensive scale Of Democratic,
Republican, Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox,
Evangelical, Desdheadism." Iwant to add
to that list one other class Of citizens, that
Mr.. s. doubtless forgot, viz: Unorthodox.
But Mr.. SIS bold thrust at the schools is
just what I like. I quote again, with
schools to train and qualify all nice young
ladies and gentlemen aspiring for high po-
sitions." Mr.. President, when I think of
that young lady who taught me the rudi-
ments Of algebra, more than thirteen years
ago in Hamline University, when I recall
the facts (as reported to me) that such was
her aspiration for "high POSITIONS that
she worked nights to pay her board, and
taught subordinate classes in day time to
pay her tuition, and by unexampled self
denial and perseverance she obtained
liberal education, and is now high-salaried
professor in the State University Of Mime
sofa, when she ought to be washing
dishes in Mr.. Spalding's kitchen for $l.5O
per week, or milking cows ana making but
ter for somebody else at the same rate, 1
say when think Of these things my blood
boils. What shall we do about it Why,
squelch the schools, of course. ,They are
the hot beds from whence thes{ aspiring
deadheads spring. Just to t4inka0 all the
deadhead scholars Of the ldpd! Notice,
for instance, the scientific horde Who spend
their days in hammeEipe- among the rocks
and dredging the bottom Of the sea, and
searching and classifying the various plants
and animals of the earth, and peering into
the heavens with costly telescopes and pro-
ducing nothing! Vampires Leeches
Aggassiz, Hugh Miller, Isaac Newton,
Gallileo. Great Scientists' Mighty Dead
heads Time would fail me, Sir, to speak
in detail Of all the deadheads of this coun-
try. II ministers and saloon keepers were
the only deadheads in our beloved land,
our load would be comparatively light, but
just think of all the Office holders, the
statesmen, the lawyers, the doctors, and
the editors, horde Of leeches sufficient to
suck the life blood out Of the entire uni
verse. It is perfectly appalling. Aud
what is most dishesrtening of all is, that
this thirst for professional life is alarming
~ on the increase, and the facilities and
inducements are keeping pace with the de-
s:res, and the good Lord only knows to
what we are coming.
This thing could have been easily
"squelched" at one time, 80 far as Ameri-
ca is concerned, by just relieving the great
discoverer Of this country of his head.
Who was Columbus: u model deadhead. q
deadhead suppliant at the deadhead court
of Spain. He embarked in a deadhead ves-
sci with deadhead crew and discovered
an asylum for the whole fraternity of dead
headism the world over He is now q
deadhead saint in the deadhead calendar of
| a deadhead church which is ruled by a
deadhead pope. Truly he WIS king of
deadheads. Nothing is more \touchiugly
beautiful than our friend's~sensf Of polite
ness and the adroit manner Il y4ich he e1-
empts "our church and ou3 minister"
But right here, aia,-4~feel obliged to
| come to his rescue and save him from inad-
certainly (?) committing the very offense
which he seeks to avoid by granting an ex-
emption to tour saloon" and for myself
] shall make an exception of our editot,
which I trust will effectually shut off an =
or all structures which THs GRANGE All.
! VANCE might otherwise feel called upon to
| make.
Mr.. President, the present state Of thing,
is bad, it is ruinous, and the statement Of
Mr.. s. that ''the sky would not fall if it