davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1874-03-13
SENATE.

MONDAY. March 9.-The Senate met at
IL o'clock. Fifteen Senators answered roll
call.
/ Mr. Williams reported Il bill providing
for the appointment Of treasurer in Cal
vert county, which was read frs: time.
The President laid before the Senate two
resolutions adopted by the State Agricul-
,ural and Mechanical Society. relative to
the scarcity of farm labor in the State; in
yoking the Legislature not 10 adjourn
without adopting some efficient and prac-
tical plan 10y which farm labor from Eu-
rope and the British Isles can be attracted
to Maryland. which was referred to the
committee on Agriculture.
Among Others, the following bills were
read a SECOND time and order"a ongr@sss3
tor third reading: Providing that the
appearance of an attorney on the record OF
any suit NJ law in any Court of record shall
be presumed 20 be 10y authority of the par
= for whom entered. Providing for the
collection Of taxes on personal property
not included in the general assessment.
The immigration bills were laid over
until " Wednesday.
The Senate then, at 10, adjourned.
HOUSE.
The House met AT II o'clock. Present
at roll-call forty nine members.
DIR. Lancaster presented a petition pray
ing that reward be paid for foxes killed
by dogs.
The House resolutions, instructing Sen
ators, and requesting Representatives in
Congress 10 use all honorable means 10 Sc
cure the removal ofthe Naval Asylum from
Philadelphia to Annapolis, were passed
unanimously.
The bill to tax railroads being on its
second reading. Mr.. Leonard proposed to
strike out a proyiso exempting the bridge
of the Philadelphia and Wilmington Rail
road. over the Susguehanna, from taxation.
The House adopted the amendment, and
+ the bill was ordered to be engrossed for q
/ third reading.
The House held an evening session and
passed several bills of no general interest.
! An extraordinary circumstance in
/ the history of the country occurs on the
death of Mr. Fillmore. Never before since
/ the administration of Jefferson has it hap
pened that only one person was alive, ex-
cept the incumbent, who had filed the
/ Presidential office Andrew Johnson is
now the only ex-President living; and
even he was not elected to that office, but
came to it as Vice President on the assas-
sination of Mr.. Lincoln. While the young
err Adams was President, the elder Adams
! Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe were liv-
/ ing. When Buchanan was elected. Van
Buren,, Tyler, Pierce, and Fillmore were
alive When Lincoln was inaugurated
/ Van Buren,, Tyler, Pierce, Fillmore, and
Buchanan were living. Within the past
thirty-seyen years seven Presidents have
/ been elected besides Grant. 1t is an ex-
traordinary fact that not one of the seven
/ is now alive.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1874-03-13
The Maryland Legislature.
SENATE.
FRIDAY, March 6.-The Senate was not
in session to-day.

SENATE.
FRIDAY, March 6.--The Senate was not
in session to-day.
HOUSE.
Mr. Etchison presented a petition against
a division of Piscataway district, and its
transfer to Charles county.
| The Speaker laid before the House a
communication from Hon. Isaac ID. Jones,
asking the immediate passage of the joint
resolutions in regard to the Maryland and
Virginia boundary line as the Legislature
of Virginia was ready to act upon them.
| Mr. Weaver submitted the following
resolutions from the select committees:
Uhercas 1t has pleased Divine Providence to
remove from our midst the Hon. Robert i oWler.
prominent member this body, and for many
years the occupant of responsible and distin-
guished offices OF honor and trust under the
Government of this State; and whereas, in the
jud gment of this House. his death is not only IA
great and deplorabe loss to its councils, but Is
an event to be l.mentcd by the people of Mary
land, and ii is therefore just and fitting that
some expression of sentiment should be made
by US touching the loss which has thus been
sustained therefore he it.
RsSoieed by the House Of Delegates Of Nary
land, That this body has learned with the most
F
of Hon. Robert Fowler, a member from Balti-
more county.
Resolre!, That from his weli-known record
of past usefulness in various high positions OF
public trust, and the promise of still greater
service from his expanding energies and matur-
ed experience in public affairs we feel that the
death OF no member OF this body could have
been greater loss either to itself 10 the pub
lie OF This State
ReSyiCcf. That tender our sincere condo
,cnce TO the family OF our deceased friend and
ttc.low-mcmher in this their sad bereavement.
Rrsoirsd That father mark of our re-
spec. this House be draped in mourning dur
ing the residue of the session, and that each
the same period.
Rssoirrd, That the foregoing resolutions be
entered upon the journal and that the Speaker
be requested to transmit II copy OF the same TO
the family of the deceased.
The resolutions were unanimously a
doptcd and euIogiCs of the character OF
the deceased were delivered 10y Messrs.
FrcAucr, Leonard, kccch, Brace. Etchison,
Thompson, Stake and Waters; and the
House adjourned until 5 o'clock.
At the evening session Mr.. keeCh oh
tanned leave to report a bill amending the
Bastardy laws 10y striking ont the word
white" before woman" in sections and
l.
4 melton IL adjourn after to nights
session until Monday morning prevailed.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

On SuAREs.-A good story, and all the
better in being true, is told Of one of our
citizens, who let piece of ground to man
On shares. The man would hire the lot,
but the owner. doubtful of getting any
money of the tenant, proposed to let it upon
the promise of receiving half the products.
Occasionally during the summer he passed
the spot, and was pleased with the culti-
vation it was receiving. and with its good
ly show Of vegetables. Harvest time came
and passed, and be heard nothing from
his tenant. till, in response to hint, the
latter sent to him one watermelon and
three shriveled cacumbers. Indignant at
this shabby treatment, he called upon the
man, and asked him what it meant
/" Why. you see, squire" replied the ten
ant, 1.-THE pesky boys stole all of your
half, but the melon and cucumbers."
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

A Discussed DARKEY.-A short time
since colored man entered the Office Of
the clerk of the county court, and advance
ing to table where the deputy clerk was
busly engaged, he produced n marriage
license for which he had paid the legal fee
a few days before.
Boss" said be, pokiug the license un-
der the nose of the absorbed deputy.
"What is it p was the impatient ques-
ton
Boss" continued the darkcy, "dc lady
declines dis document, and | fotch it to
get de money back"
1t was a little conscling In the darkey
to be told some went further AND Jared
worse. but when assured his money could
not be returned, he turned Indignantly on
his double-soled pumps and mu'tersd as
he made his exit, Every body's done gone
back on dis document.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30
Underground London.

Underground, ths city Of London is
1t is a labrynth of drain-pipes, water-pi-
pes, gas-pipes and underground railways.
There are points in the soil of London
where it would be extremely difficult to
find room for another pipe. One cempa.
ny alone-the Gas and Coke Company
supplies two districts with nearly 400
miles of pipes, varying in diameter from
three inches to four feet. These are the
maiu pipes merely, and from them every
house and street lamp receives on an aver
age six or eight feet of small piping. In
addition to these, and the underground tele-
graph wires, there are no less than $500
miles of drain-pipes Of various dimensions
Less familiar to use, but no less impor-
tant, and the lead aud the iion tub $
leadcu pipes with outer castings of iron
along which written messages, packed in
little felt and gutta pearcha cases, are
blown from station to station. The con-
venience of these messages is immense
A steam engine forces iD blast of air, and
in about u minute it travels a distance of
$50 yards. There are at present thirteen
stations on the underground railway; and
as the people walk upon the streets of Lon
don, electricity is flashing messages above
their heads. and little missives are whiz
zing and darting just under their feet
AS many as l 800 messages pass to and
fro in day. The drainage system of
London presents world of underground
streets, some two or three thousand miles
in extent All the drains empty into
three great sewers running parallel with
the Thames, sewers connecting in the
eighbcrhood of Victoria Park, and
through Barking Creek district discharge
into the river. Men are constantly en-
ployed keeping these drains ia repair
Londoners never pour pail of water down
drain but at the depths of that mysterious
aperture somebody is making way for it.
A stranger, properly costumed, can ex-
plore these depths, which resemble vaulted
galleries in the side of which are traps
forming various small channels When
the storm waters come as they sometimes
do during plump. the torrent is
fearful SO much so that upon several oc-
casions men have lost their lives.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

too aristocratic for oos. The National is
the place for such slouchy ould roosthsrs
as oos."
And they went to the other hotel
Two large express wagons loaded with
trunks travelled in in their wake. The
whippoorwills laughed at them as they pass.
ed under the water oaks shading the pub.
lie square, aud tho stars shons brightly as
they disappeared under the portico.
When the sun arose the landlord came
down stairs with fine appetite.
Good morning, Kingsbury." he said
T" How's your drunken Irisman this morn.
ing Is he upyet?"
7" No sir, replied the watchman. "No
40 wasn't good enough for him. He wan.
ted the bridal chamber, and 1 made him
dust"
Here the Deacon stepped to the regis
ter, and began to read the list Of arrivals
Suddenly his eyes dilated. A flush over
spread his eountenance. Putting his fore
finger upon the book he shouted, Z" Here
here, Kingsbury. What's this? Lool
here"
The watchman looked at the finger
1t pointed to the name of
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

A SOLOMON The following story comes
from Ireland: Two men had a quarrel in
liquor shop. They adjourned outside to
settle the dispute The first man, being
from Connaught, Immediately seized a
lump of stone and let fly at the head Of
his opponent, who dipped his head and
missed the stone. which went through an
expensive plate glass window, and did
much damage. A magistrate was called
upon next morning to determine which Of
the two should pay the cast. The evil
deucc clearly showed that the aim was a
good one, and that if the second man had
not dipped his head he would have been
struck. Therefore" said the magistrate.
"he must pay the damages, as it is certain
the FIRST man didn't intend to injure the
win dow, and the window would not have
been injured if it had not been for the act
Of the second man"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

DoN'T Go THERE. Danbury News
says: One of our young men has ceased
to make calls at certain house. 1t ap-
pears that he went the other night from
an oyster supper, and on her father ap-
pearing at the door observed: Hal
10, old tadpole. where is the floating ga
zelle ? where is my love now dreaming ~
This seemed to indicate that something
was wanted, SO he placed bis hand sadly
on the young mans shoulder, slowed
away large amount of leather under his
coat tail, and then retired into the house.
The young man doesn't 60 there any
more. He says the smallpox is heredi-
tary in the family.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30
Select poetrp.
THE OLD GRANGER.
PARODY.

Near the track of a railroad newly laid,
A farmer leaned on his earth-worn spade,
While his taxes were high and his crops were
slim,
The charge for freight played the deuce with him,
So he growled growl at the train sharp din
"Pll gather you in; I'll gather you in |"
GIVE born you long and here vow
Your railroads 10 beat, some way, or how;
will get up law by the great horned owl
Ts cut down your profit and make you howl,
And but little or nothing I'll slip from bin
OF boarded corn till have gathered you in
eve will raise in our oranges, bed and free,
And Down with the freights shall our war-cry
be;
Not partisan crow nor party hack,
Shall help us to gain our birthright back
For the battle is eurs, to lose or win
Wen gather them in We Il gather them in !! "
Now gaunt politician came that way,
O'erheard the old mans angry say;
And he gave to his head a knowing screw,
And he said to the granger " count me in too,"
With thought to himself, replete with a grin,
'Pll gather you in; III gather you in | ;"
Then twist in his eye, to seem acute
" The farmers tongue has too long been mute,
] am just your man, if it suits your mood,
So place me where can do most GOOD;
If an office fit you will help me wiu
Well gather them in !; we'll gather them in u
Touching hand in hand in warm exchange,
They take walk to the farmers grange,
Where the stranger speaks with his rural air,
And sprinkles hayseed in his hair;
Let the railroads quail when our blows begin,
Well gather them in we'll gather them in "
So they vote for him at the coming polls,
Those simple, honest, rural souls
Never dreaming that they of the iron horse
Are voting too, for the man of course;
As on him alone their faith to pin,
To gather them in 10 gather them in.
When election is over, the railroads run
A score of trains where they once had one;
Where ditch by the track is found to hold
A poor old granger, s.ark and cold;
For the chap he d helped to Office win
Had gathered them in had gathered them in.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

There is bush story Of acgro who,
for bottle Of rum, agreed to strip to the
waist and lie on his face, to be bitten for
quarter of an hour by mosquitoes, at the
Joggins Of New Brunswick. He endured
his pests manfully, and had nearly won
his prize, when one Of the lumbermen who
stood by laid on him piece eff live char
coal, when the negro wriggled and twist
ed about frightfully. At last, unable to
bold out any longer, he jumped up, call
ing out, "Wooh not bargain for dat; dat
is dragon-fy."
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30
0ait and 8unor.
Very Romantic, but Too Soon.

There is young lady in this city Who
has the misfortune to talk in her sleep, and
it is said she will answer unconsciously
the questions which are secrets in her
waking hours. She is waited upon by
timid young man who has never been able
to screw his courage up to the @ sticking
place and ask her to marry him. He
went up one night last week and entering
the frost door, as was bis habit, without
ringing the bell, he saw bis dulcinss
asleep on the parlor sofa. He hesitated u
moment over the propriety Of advancing
without announcing himself, when he
heard his own name softly expressed from
between those coral lips. Immediately
the pent-up burden Of his heart broke out
in words:
Dearest, do you love me ?"
Z" Yes," was the soft response from the
sleeper.
win you marry met"
"Yes."
"Shall it be in . year 2"
Any time"
g. Let it be in six months ?"
There was moments silence and aus
penso. when the lips again moved and the
young man heard distinctly the little word
May" He stepped cautiously back ana
glided quietly from the house. He has
been up every night since, but has not re-
ferred to the conversation with the sleeper.
May is very pleasant month, but the
time is rather too soon fer the young man.
Helena Mont Herald.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

All, So FAIR "A Nashville paper
describes the d" only young man" in Fay
ettesville as follows y" He was young, he
was fair, and parted his hair, like the
average beau, in the middle; he was
proud, be was bold, but the truth must be
told, he played like fend on the fiddle.
But, aside from this vice, he was every
thing nice, and his heart was so loving
and tender, that he always turned pale
when he trod on the tail Of the cat lying
down by the fender. He clerkcd in a
store and the way that he tore off calico,
jeans and brown shceting, would have
tickled calf and made the brute laugh in
the face of quarterly meeting. He cut
quite a dash with a darling mustache,
which he learned to adore and cherish
for one girl had said, as she dropped her
proud head, that 'twould kill her to see
the thing perish. On Sunday he'd search
the straight road to the church. unheeding
the voice of the scorner; and demurely he
sat, like young tabby cat. with the
saints in the far amen corner. He sang
like bird, and his sweet voice was heard
tuggiug away at long metre; and we
speak but the truth when we say that this
youth could outsing a hungry mosquito.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30
A BARON IN DISGUISE.
Tho Florida Hotel Keeper who was very
Badly Deceived.

The people Of jacksonville, Florida,
are having their fun over one Of their ho-
tel keepers. The story is told as follows !:
A rough-looking man entered the hotel
and wrote his name upon the register. =
His face and hands were sunburned, mud
his eyes looked bloodshot. The watch
man thought he detected the smell of
whiskey about his clothes. A gray fan
mel shirt, tern coat, dirty breechcs. aud
scaly brogans we're all that the visitor
wore. The watchn,an gazed at him few
seconds, as if undecided whether to kick
him out or let him remain.
"Could l have rooms placed at my
service ?" inquired the hard looking Gus
toner.
Watchman hesitated. He eyed the ap-
plicant very closely and smelled of him
There was a taint Of liquor in the air
"Oh, you wants a room, do you, old
fellow?" the watchman said Well,
just stop here moment, and keep your
hands in your pockets while run up
stairs and see if the landlord will assign
you one"
There's a man down stairs wants a
room," the watchman said.
"Who is he 2" inquired the Deacon.
A drunken old Irishman," was the
reply.
!" What does he look like 2" was the
interrogatory.
Look like?" repeated the watchman
"He's the worst looking Irshman that
ever saw, aud he's drunk"
"Wsll, slap him in No. 40. l guess
that's good enough for him"
"I guess that it's better than he ever
had BEFORE" answered the watchman as
he closed the door.
Down stairs he dashed. The baggage
was all safe. The Irishman stood facing
the register with his hands in his pockets.
"This way, old fellow" the watchman
exclaimed. again mounting the steps
The old Celt followed him. No. 40 was
cramped apartment in the top of wing
of the hotel Immediately over the kitchen
The carpet was dusty, the nose of the
wash pitcher was broken, and the furui-
ture generally was not calculated to please
a fastidious taste.
." Is this my room?" the Irishman
asked.
"Yes. this is your reom," replied the
watchman.
"Well, then" said the Celt. ~ must
tell you that this went do. l want lar.
ger apartment, one that is well furnished
and with soeparier accommodations"
"Oh. you do, Ell Isuppose you would
like the ladies' parler. You can consider
yourself mighty lucky to get this ROOM
If was the proprietor l would hoist you
into the hay now"
The old Irishman stared at tho watch
man in perfect surprise. 1t was some sec
onds before be could catch his breath =
3" I'm greatly obloiged to ye for your i'm
pertinence," he said. "but if I cawn't
find accommodations here l must 20 where
I car find them"
That's right, old fellow, you better
20 to the Grand National. That's the
place for such slouchy old roosters a,
you"
And the indignant old Celt walked
down three flights of stairs followed by
the equally indignant watchman, As the
old man was about to pass out tho front
doors be met half dozen hard6sted eon-
panions about to enter.
4" Hold on, boys" be said, "This is
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

Pat having been sent by his master to
the postofiice after the letters, was asked
on his return:
"Wcll, Pat, what was there for me p
1.-Two letters and paper, sir"
"Wrll, hand them to me what are
you standing there for ?"
"Indade, sir, and you didn't tell me tc
bring them, at all %
"What did you 60 to the office for p
"You told me to 60 to the office and
see what was in the box, and haven't !
done it, sure?"
Pat had to go back again, but mutter-
ing as he went, that he wished his Honor
would "be after naming what he said the
next time"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

A Baltimore woman has taken time by
the forelock A few days since she
brought to the Register of Wills in that
city a will made by her husband, and
which she desired to lie for Probate.
q When did he die?" inquired the SYM
pathetic clerk to whom the document was
handed. Why, bless you." responded
the woman, I" he amt dead yet, but he
gave me that" (pointing to the wilD
and he drinks quart of liquor every
day. and guess, ;" continued she, with a
laugh, [" he'll play out in about three
months" The officer had no more to
say, and quietly filed away the will
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

Soliloquy by an old topper: g They say
whiskey is curse And they say brandy
is curse. And they say tobacco is
another curse Well, | wish all those
curses would come home to roost, and low
at that, so as could pull 'em down when
ever | wanted 'em."
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

81 like you," sighed girl to her sui
tor; d" but can't leave home. am
widows only child. No husband can
equal my mother in kindness" She il
kind" pleaded the wooer; " but be my
wife; we will live together, and see if l
don't beat your mother"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30
SIR GEORGE Cons, England.

Oh, good Lord" be exclaimed,
:" that was the drunken Irishman
Sir George is western hunter who vis-
tied Florida with troops Of retainers.
dogs, guns, etc, and scattered his money
briskly.
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

An Irishman remarked to companion,
on observing lady pass, - Pat, did you
ever see so thin woman as that before ="
Thin F." replied the other; " bothera-
shun I've seen one as thin as tive Of
her put together, have"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

An old Scotch lady had an evening par
ty where a young man was present who
was about to leave for an appointment in
China. AS be was exceedingly extrava-
giant in his conversation about himself, the
old lady said when he was leaving {:
TAX guide care o yourself when ye are
ava; for, mind ye, they eat puppies in
Chena."
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

Father" said cebbler's lad as he
was pegging away at an old shoe, "they
say that trout bite good now" "Well,
WE'LL" replied the old gentleman, "you
stick to your work and they won't bite
you"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

An old clergyman spying a boy creep
crawling through fence like young
hog" Yes," retorted the boy. land
old hegs 60 along the street."
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

Have the jury agreed 2" asked
judge Of a court attachs. whom he had
met on the stairs with bucket in his
hand.
Yes," replied Patrick, they have
agreed to send out for half gallon"
Middletown transcript., 1874-05-30

You had better be poisoned in your
blood than your principles.
Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-10-29
society Item.

While our Jenkins was making the
rounds at the Exposition last night be
found a feast for his eyes, aud thus
gushes; A handsome bridal couple
were there. 1t was Mr.. and Mrs. -,
nee Miss -, Of - county, Missis.
sippi. The bride was dressed in green
rep silk. made with basque and
train which was profusely deco
rated with orange blossoms. A long
cotton-lace veil hung from her fair
brow to her heels; red plush band en-
circled her swan-like throat, and on her
delicate hands were cream-colored kids.
Her slippers we're white satin, deco
rated with Indian beads; her hosiery was
flesh colored cotton Of the best quality.
Her hair was en- neglige, with simple
blue band about her head. Her carri-
age was not queenly in its bearing, but
it was lofty, and she created huge SEN
sation.