Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-08-21
MISCELLANEOUS,

-- W e nave Il JtWell Ol a tOStlnaStpf- -b6n-
eral now.
Second Adventists now say Jan. /,
1901. This is comfortable.
Now the green apple doubles the little
boys into quarto form.
"A f,undlng left in Boston street-car
was appropriately nameu Oscar.
A man that don't know anything will
tell Of it tue first time be gets chance.
A down-cast shopkeeper advertises
"quart bowls all sizes for sale cheap"
81 say, Mick, what sort of potatoes are
those you are planting ?" "Raw cnes."
Denver, Col, is advancing in civiliza-
lion, for the complaint of dirty streets there
s long and loud
"A Wisconsin book agent has been kill
ed blythe kick of horse-man's s most faith
ful friend.
"A common street sight in New-York-
A six-foot policeman, club IN hand chas-
ing a six-inch dog.
-"Sumner's death cost Massachusetts
100000" But his Life can he had for only
two dollars and half.
Advertising for a wife, says a contem-
porary, is Just as absurd as it would he to
get measured for an umbrella.
A morning paper speaks OF "thieving
in the outskirts which may be interppe-
ted picking ladies' pockets
Since the new tangled buckles came in
vogue, it is extraordinary how door plates
in the rural districts have disappeared.
When a member of the Boston Com
mon Council talks too long. the bored hand
him card inscribed: "Hire a hall p
IL I'll d.
"grand hop" with which to procure funds
10 defrny the expenses of burying her hus-
band.
Female cOnvlcts are made to blast and
pound rocks in st. Louis. The rights of
woman are being gradually recognized
everywhere.
"A Connecticut editor announces that
he has bought $500 dog, and can now
meet the most irascible caller with a smile
of calm content.
1t was with some astonishment that
the good people OF Pittsburgh read in one
OF their papers, ''The Legislature pasted the
bill over the governors head r.
When an old citizen of Detroit goes
through a runaway unharmed the Free
Press felicitates him on his escape from
"frescoing the wheels of a passing express
wagon with his brains"
"A precocious boy of eight summers at
| tributes the death of pet gold 6sh-his
sisters idol-io the fact that 1t couldn't
! take joke. He used to catch il OCCASION
ally with bent pin.
The collecting of an Infamous dog tax
in Sioux City has compelled one poor man
to take his children out Of school that they
may so TO work and earn money to pay
the laws oxsctons.
| The people of Toulouse mIst be hard
set. A writer, speaking of the city, says:
at is large town, containing 90, 900 in-
habitants built entirely of brick" This
statement is entirely too loose.
The following advertisement appeared
recently in an English psper 'St James
| Church.-Ou Sunday next tie afternoon
service will commence at half-past three
and continue until further notice.
Eureka, Cal, is severely agitated over
q c7so of baby stealing among the women,
| WI "e-ently mixed up four or five babies
p. horse and afterwards several of the
lit!,e cIts we're given away. They are
now qr0-i- 'inG about who owns the only
one lei
A c:.izcr Of Detroit, who moved to
Lone Tree, Nebraska, several years ago,
writes to n tobacco house in the former
city TO send him five pounds of ''tine-cup'
by express, adding: am candidate for
sheriff of this county, and think that by
a judicious uso Of five pounds of good TO-
hacco l can secure two hundred majority"
Somebody calculates that If Chicago
and g. Louis keep Ut nir comp stitions
in directories, by ths laa y of the census
in 1880 the lstter place will have l,4l6,OOO
inhabitants, and the former 100000 in
habitants. But the Chicago Tribune thinks
that some publication which would in
form stranger where to find resident
would be moro useful.
Tho editor OF Chicago educational
journal having stated that whipping is a
better modo OF punishment than detention
after school hours, because 1t sets the blood
in circulation and causes increased activ-
ity OF the brain, some OF the boys sent him
lottor OF coincidence on his misfortune in
not having been whipped more and de-
tanned after school less frequently when he
was boy.
"A young lady In Norrstown, Pa, put
a small piece or wedding cake under her
pillow, and went to bed In the happy be-
lief that she would dream of seeipg her
future husband. That evening, however,
she had eaten two plates of ice-cream,
about pint of strawberries, several sweet
+ cakes and two large pickles, and now she
says she would rather remain single all
her life than marry the man she saw in her
dreams.
; All flesh is grass. Two farmers near
Greenbush, n. y, contesting The owner
ship of grass in graveyard, fell TO cutting
each other with scythes, and one of them
is now no mower.
In view of the fact that Watts hymns
have been translated into the Choctaw laR-
guage, and have become favorites OF the
. braves, an sdmlrer of the nobla red man
says il is very affecting TO think Of noble
red man sitting upon fence and singing,
, "How doth the little busy bee," while he
watches his wife carrying home a couple
of bushels of potatoes upon each shoulder,
! and wondering If he couldn't swap that
+ squaw for quart OF robust rum. And II
, Is even more touching to imagine the
, dusky son OF the forest chanting, IL want
; to be an angel" while he dances around a
: white man who is pinned to the ground
a, with stake between his ribs aud bonfire
I on his bosom.