The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-01-06
THE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING. JAN. 6. 1874.
Gossip and Gleanings.

Gossip and GIeanings.
Small boys in Boston are now called Hub
bubs for shoIt
In Ceylon the mar .iage ceremony is per-
formed by tying the couple together by the
thumbs.
Avoid lanp-posts upon returning from the
club. Lamp-posts are apt to become too So
cial, and keep you out late.
Give up the use of tobacco once for all. 1t
will spare you the modification of living un-
til you are hundred years old.
A chapel recently completed at Rutland,
VT, has something in the basement which
the local papers call a culinary laboratory"
A sign on garden fence near New York
reads thus: Positively no more stealing al
lowed on these premises. No exceptions
Theories are nothng-facts are everything,
You might have theory that your mother
in-law will die this year and leave you some-
thing. Abandon it.
The editor of a country paper thinks that
fishing, as a rule, doesn't pay. He says /:
s'We stood all day in the river, last week, but
caught nothing until we got home"
Professor, will you have cigar?' said a
man in the Office Ct Boston hotel; and nine
teen men stood up and replied: Thank you
don't care if / do.'
An Arkansas paper says that there is only
one politician in the S ate who is above sus
ricion. And most likely he's in the peniten-
tiary.
Guard well your conversation at meal time.
especially if the servant girl in attendance
speaks the same language Of the other SER
want girls in the neighborhood.
When she told him he was a fiat, Jones
said 1t was all her fault because she wouldn
have him round. Jones thinks he got square
on her then.
Exert yourself to live happily with your
wife. Practice dodging before glass. A
good dodger enjoys domestic triumphs that
often surprise him.
A bishop, fond of hunting, being reminded
that the apostles never hu- ted, replied, "No
shooting was very bad in Palestine, so they
went fishing instead"
An old minister once recommended to {
parishioner to take snuff to keep him awake
during the sermon; to which the old back
slider retorted that be had better put the
stuff in the sermon.
A negro who had learned to read, wishing
to give an idea of it to some of his acquain-
tances who had never seen book, said,
''Readn' is de power ob hearin' wild the eyes
instead OBJ de ear"
Tell lady that you recently saw lady ac-
quain:ance OF hers aid the first ques ion in
reply is, 'What did she have on?' Tell hei
husband that you bave seen au acquaintance
of his and he will lie sure to ask, whats ht
doing now?'
| A sympathetic Tennessee report'r write:
| up an account OF the shooting of man, ant
saws: The bullet penetra' ed his stomach,
| whence it was recovered by the ue of al
emetic, so that the lead was not lost"
The difference between having a tooth
properly drawn by professional, surgeon,
and having it Knocked out miscelanecusly by
fall on the pavement, is only a slight dis
tinction-one is dental and the other acci
| dental
A young man sent his girl box of grapes
one afternoon lately, and the next day lei
wv met him on the street ard said, "Thos'
grapes were jolly good, last night; send som'
up every Wednesday evening-that's my
night, you know"
Several Irishmen were disputing one day
upo.i their own best points, when one sait
in AL aggressive manner, "Fa.th, and I'm q
brick" sand. inlade," said another, ''rn
brick-layer," and felled the first speaker to
the ground.