The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-11-06
RLpING DOWN. RRoADKA1

| called stages IN New York
OF late the stage companies, to escape
the well-known robbery of drivers, have
put the patent box in each stage. The
drivers give change but are not permit
ted to take the fare. We were seated
when stout gentleman entered and
crowded into corner near the door, fol
the stage was crowded. The newcomer
took from his vest pocket a ragged note
and passed it along the line. The man
nearest the box was meek eyed crea-
ture in the single-breasted coat upon
which females are so fond of casting
their burdens, and sometimes them
selves, for he was evidently a
clergyman. This humble follower OF
of the Lord lifted the note and dropped
it in the box.
"Halloo !'' cried the indignant adj
pose near the door, "what' d you do that
fur? It's quarter"
I'm very sorry, I'm sure, STAN
mered the gospel expounder.
Much good'll your sorrow do me, u
answered indignation, working his way
to the hole through which the driver
conversed with the passengers. He
trod on several corns as he pulled the
strap. The stage came to a halt.
Z" want my change" he shouted up
through the hole.
"What change" shouted down the
| driver.
:" put quarter in the box"
More fool you"
want none of your impudence."
!" What do you want then %
81 want my change
''You can't fool me that way. How
do know you put in a quarter ?" And
the driver started. The clergyman
sprang up and pulled the strap and
shouted
81 put the quarter in, my good man;
it is all correct.
:" Two of you, retorted the driver.
driving on. Both adipose and piety
| hung to the strap.
' Blast your or'nary SOULS" roared
the driver, edo you want to pull my leg
off? Eff you tech that strap again I'll
come down and bay-window yer coun-
tenances. Again the stage rolled on.
''Permit me, SIR said the clergy
man, pulling out very thin pocket
book that looked as if it had gone into
decline, decline to pay anything
and presenting fifteen cents.
sc 1 don't want your money!" was the
gruff response ; st want my own, and
I'm going to have it, and he seized the
stray at the moment the. hook-nose old
lady, who resemb1ed hawk in delicate
health, seized it. The feminine hook
nose wanted to get out. The driver
made no response. In an instant the
fat man, the clergyman, and old lady
were swinging on the strap. The strap
suddenly gave way, as if it or the
drivers leg we're broken, and the three,
tumbling over each other, fell to the
bottom, amid roars of laughter from all
of us. The stage came to halt, and
we heard the driver shout, '' P'lice !!
p'lice !" loud as he could bawl. A po-
iceman responding, the driver informed
him that there was ''a riot . going on
among the GO lunatics - inside his stage.
and he'd better settle 'em before we
had another car hook murder" The
policeman opened the door. The bel
igerents had subsided, save the old
lady, who, attempting to get out, was
promptly arrested. The fat man ex-
planned the case.
Chow is this, driver?" asked the
policeman This man says he put a
quarter in your box and you won't give
him his change.
'tNo; I'd think not, " was the dry re-
sponse !" the way for him to do is to
file an afidavy with the Surrogate.
It'll only cost him dollar
There is but one course for police
man to pursue, and that is to arrest
somebody. If he cannot arrest any one,
he puts on dignified air and marches
away. In this case the conservator of
the peace compromised. He arrested
the old hook-nosed female party-the
only innocent actor among us-and held
her in durance as far as the sidewalk,
and we rolled on.
nj GusoH writing in the ST PETERS,