Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-06-10
POPPING THE QUESTION.

swift, who had no more tenderness
than one of his own Yahoos, indited the
most brutal proposal we know of. Tired
OF his chilly-shailying, Miss VARYING
seemed to have insisted upon his speak.
ing out, and Swift spoke out with a
vengeance. After protesting he is inst
TO stand IN the way of her accepting a
more advantageous offer. he says he
must ask her few questions, questions
he had long since resolved to ask of the
woman with whom he meant to spend
his life: "Are you in a condition to
manage domestic affairs with an income
OF less than three hundred pounds a
year? Have you such an inclination to
my person and honor as to comply with
my desire and way of living, and en-
deavor to make us both as happy as
you can? VIII you be ready to engage
IN those methods shall direct for the
Improvement of your mind, SO as to
make us entertaining company for each
other, without being miserable when
We are neither visiting or visited? Can
you bend your love, esteem, and indiff-
erence to others the same way / do
mine? Have you so much good nature
as to endeavor by soft words to smooth
any rugged humor occasioned by the
cross accidents of life? Shall the place
wherein your husband is thrown be
more welcome than courts and cities
without him. Surely never was lady
so catechised by suitor for her hand.
When Jane Varying felt able to answer
every question in the affirmative, then,
and not till then, her lover sBys, 81
shall be blessed to have you in my
arms, without regarding whether your
person be beautiful, or your fortune
large. Cleanliness in the first, and
competency IN the second, is all look
for = This unique epistle ends-'I
singled you out at first from the rest of
women, and expect not to be used like
a common lover" Swift was evidently
enough very uncommon one.-There
is world of difference between the love-
making-making of morbid self-loving
Swift, and that CHEEKY hearted Richard
Steele; the ravens croak and the lark 5
song are not more unlike. The Chris
tian hero made love like lover and a
gentleman. He never dreamed of ply
ing his mistress with doubling ques-
tion upon question. Believing his Prue
to be as beautiful, witty, prudent, and
good humored as woman could be,
Steele was contented to know she loved
him, and took the rest upon trust
Instead of saying L shall die for you,
l profess 1 should be glad to lead my
life with you" That is the way he
popped the question then, when as
sured that the dearest being on earth is
his own, he asks her to name the day
Can anything be more charming in its
way than this? 81 have not minutes
quiet out of your sight; aud when l
am with you, You use me with so much
distance, that 1 am still in state of
absence, heightened with view of the
. charms which am denied to approach.
In word, you must give me either FAN,
a mask, or glove you have worn, or l
cannot live; otherwise you must expect
[ will kiss your hand, or, when L next
sit by you, steal Your handkerchief.
You yourself are too great a bounty to
be received at once; therefore l must
be prepared by degrees, lest the mighty
gift distract me with JOY. Dear Mrs.
Scurlock, / am tired with calling you
by that name therefore say the day In
which you Will take that off, madam,
your most obedient, most devoted,
humble servant" A Frenchman, smit-
ten with the charms of fair Lydia Sterne,
instead of trying to secure her good
will, wrote to her father, desiring to be
informed what he was prepared to give
| her upon her marriage, and how much
he intended to bequeath her. But
Sterne was not so eager to get rid of his
girl as was Signor Paptista, and replied
Sir, shall give my daughter ten
thousand pounds on the day of her mar
riage. My calculation is as follows
She is not eighteen, you are sixty-two-
there goes five thousand pounds. Then
sir, you, at least, think her not ugly,
she has many accomplishments, speaks
Italian and French, plays upon the gui-
tar; and as fear You play upon no In
strument whatever, think you will be
happy to take her on my terms, for here
| finishes the account of the ten thousand
pounds. .'-Whitfeld asked the hand of
a young American lady, of her parents,
without troubling to ascertain her incli-
nations and was good enough to let
them know they need not be afraid of
offending him by declining the honor.
since he blessed God he was free from
the passion called love. Next to ignor-
ing the lady altogether, the worst way
of making declaration is to do it by
deputy. Cupid is no friend to faint
hearted lovers. If damsel be worth
the wooing, it is odds upon the proxy
suitor proving false, and suing on his
own account. When those inseparable
brothers, William and Jacob Grimm,
were pursuaded of the necessity of one
of them taking a wife, they had a
friendly contention as to which should
be the victim, and after some days
argument, Jacob decided that he, being
the elder. was bound to sacrifice him
self. They had previously fixed upon
the lady, a beautiful girl of twenty-five,
but when it came to the push, Jacobs
courage failed him, and William under
took to pursuade the maiden to love
his brother. After weeks acquaint-
ance poor William was horrlfied at DIS
covering he had lost his own heart, and
now. fully alive to the excellence of the
fair one. was miserable. at the thought
of losing her, while he felt that to rob
his brother of such prize, would be
an unpardonabletre treachery. Fortunately
for everybody, Grimm's aunt, shrewd
old lady, saw how things were, and told
Jacob what had come of William S
efforts in his behalf. Jacob was de-
lighted to think he had escaped matrl-
monial bondage, and celebrated his
good fortune by roaming over the
country free man, until the honeymoon
was oyer-the cross coursthip ending
more pleasantly for all concerned than
such things commonly do. Convinced
by kind Mrs. Churchman that he wanted
a wife to look after him, the Judicious
Hooker escaped the bother of counting
and popping the question by leaving
his adviser to find him mate, ana ar
range all preliminaries. Happening 70
- = a.,a,, her hands the dislnter-