, 1874-11-15
THE SORROWS OF 4 KING.

*AA ~AAN~A ~~~~s
THE SORROWS OF 4 KING.
UueasY lies the head that wears the crown-
De Tonniens has come to grief once more,-
Orelie de Tonniens, King Of Patagonia OF Do
Tonniens' autecedent miseries TIE TRIBUNE has
SPOKEN before; but the latest developments Of
fate are more remarkable than anything that has
yet happened to His French-Auracanian-PAta
MAN Majesty, showing that, in that far AWAY
land, neither divinity nor anything else hedges
in the King.
The King OF Patagonia is Monsieur orelie de-
Tonniena, frisky little Frenchmsn. who, tired
OF Partisan frivolities has been taking contracts
in governing South American Kingdoms and,
for aught We know, has been Ringing it al along
the Pacific Slope to Cape Horn. In any event.
his last some1sault landed this frisky frenchman
in P2ta gonia as King Of that delightful country
and ruler OF it's sterile plains and gigantic bowl
ders, from the Rio Negro to Terra del Fuego.
His subjects are not very choice people, especal-
~ for Frenchman- They ive on hotsetesh,
are very filthy IN their habits, are exceedingly
vain, although they have nothing to be vain OF,
and are great liars. It is also very hard to tell
men from women, 20 closely allied are the types
OF male aud female beauty in that favored land.
But De Tonniens was none the less King, and,
his subjects being guileless, trusted and ado1ed
had greed aud guano in his eyes, for
the islands near the straits Of Magellan we're
rich in this fowl-product. Having been made
Kiug, away went De Tonniens to France to ne
gotiate loan upon his guano securities. The
French hwaYs have money laid away in their
old stockings, and De Tonniens had wheedlng
tongue; and, besides, De Tonniens Was King,
and there Was something dazzling in the appari-
ton Of King suddenly turning up in Republic
an France with his pockets full Of guano. His
fertilizer WAS magical in ita effects, and Pata-
goniau bonds went of like hot cakes- The
Kings hands were soon full OF money, and the
guileless Patagonians we're plunged head and
ears into debt, without knowing that debt is a
national blessing. Meanwhile. the French Argo-
naut with his gold set sail for his Kingdom, and
the thrifty French will long remember his fleece.
The luckless De Tonnions, however, WAS sailing
straight into trouble. The Argentine Govern
ment claims one part Of the guano islands and
the Chiian another, and no sooner had De Ton
MEMS reached their waters than he was seized
By them with all his trea ures and royal bug
gage, 30 that the two nations now have King
and handsome po. Of gold. OF course
they have no use for the King. as Kings
are manufactured every week in those coun-
tries by means Of the machinery Of 1evo-
luton. but they have use for gold, and will
place it where it will do the most good Mean
while, the poor Patagonians have lost their King,
and tho French investors have their pockets full
OF PatagoniAn bonds, which are Of no use except
for klndlng purposes There is great wrath on
the boulevards and in the cafes, and the bond
holders arc demanding that MacMAhon shall
compel the Chi1ians aud tho Areentines to sur
render De Tonniens and fork over his gold But
this cannot be done, for, when De Tonniens be-
came King Of Patagonia and ali the Terra del
Fuegoa, he renounced his allegiance to France,
became Patagonian, and swore to wear guanaco
and horse-hide instead Of the habits OF Worth,
and to eat horse instead Of frosa, It ia bad
state OF things for the Frenchmen. the Pata-
gonians, and their ill-sta11ed King- The Chilians
and the Argentines will not allow him to 60 to
his loyal subjects, and have probably already
spent his money. But De Tonniens ia ire
pressible, and he may yet turn up as King Of the
Cannibal Islands, or monarch Of come Of the |
South Sea Islands, where *every prospect |
pleases, and only man il vile" It is safe to say,
however, that De Tonniena will steer clear Of |
guano hereafter, and th1t Frenchmen will not |
regard sea-fowl with any other feeling than that
II monrnful interest. Tho gull, hereafter, will |
20 very suggestive bird to them.