Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-08-27

bands" She seemed deeply distressed. MY
friend (by that designation she almost always
called mel am sorry, but could not help il.
What can do!' | told her she could state in
writing what she had now told me- She beckoned
for her writing materials, which ! handed her
from her secretary standing near by, and she sat
up in bed and wrote a brief counter-statement
In sort of postscript she denied explicitly
that had ever offered any improper solicitation
TO her. that being the only charge made against
me by Mr.. Tilton, or sustained by the statement
about the confession which he had read TO mel
dreamed of no worse charge at that time--that
was horrible enough. The mere thought that he
could make 1t. and could have extorted any evil
dence ON which TO base it, was enough 10 take
away my senses. Neither my consciousness of
it's utter falsehood. nor Mrs Tiltons retracion of
her part in it, could remove the shock from my
heart. Indeed. her admission 10 me that she had
stated under any circumstances, so wicked a
falsehood. was the browning blow of ALL Ii
seemed 10 me il she was going to die; that her
mind was oyerthrown and that | was in some
dreadful way mixed up with 1t, and might be left
by her death with this terrible accusation hang
ing over me. returned like one in dream 10
Mr. Mouton's house, where | said very little, and
soon went home. 1t has been said that l con-
fessed guilt and expressed remorse. This Is ut
terly false. Is it likely that with Mrs. Tilton's
retraction in my pocket should have thus stulti-
fled myself. On the next day, at evening, Mr.
Moulton called at my house and came up to my
bedroom. He SAID that Mrs. Tilton on her hus
bands return TO her after our interview, had in
formed him what she had done, and that had
her retraction. Moulton expostulated with me;
salu that fetractiOn uDuef the circumstances
would not mend matters, but only awaken fresh
discord between husband and wife, and do great
injury to Mrs. Tilton without helping me. Mrs
Titon, he said, had already recanted in writ
ing the retraction made to me, and of
course there might be no end to such
contradictions: meanwhile Tilton had destroyed
his wifes first letter acknowledging the confes
sion, and Mr.. Moulton claimed that i had taken
a mean advantage and made dishonorable use of
Theodore's request that should visit her in OBJ
tanning from her written contradiction to doc
IT,. tl,nfa all g.al
ties could be settled without any such paper, and
that ought to give it up; he made no verbal
threats. but he opened his overcoat and with
some emphatical remark showed pistol, which
afterward he took out and laid on the bureau
near which he stood; ! gave the paper To him
and after few moments talk he LETT; within
day or two after this Mr.. Monlton made the third
visit and this time we repaired to my study in
the third story OF my house.
Before speaking of this interview 1t il right
that should allude to the suffering through
which had gone during the previous day, the
cause of which was the strange change in Mrs
Titon. Nothing had seemed more certain during
all my acquaintance with her than that she was
sngularly simple, truthful and honorable. De
ceit seemed absolutely foreign TO her nature, and
vet she had stated to her husband those strange
and awful fasehoods She had not, when 1aily
/ called and prayed with her, given me the
slightest hint. will not say of such accusations
but even that there was any serious family difi-
Guilty. She had suddenly, in December, called
me and my wife to a consultation as to possible
separation nom Def nUSDanu. sun leaving me
ignorant that she had put into hIs hands such a
weapon against me. / was bewildered with
the double consciousness of sanity
woman committing a very needless treaeh,
cry to her friend and pastor. l did
not for a moment feel, however, that she
was blameworthy, as would ordinarily be
thought but supposed that she had been
oyerborne by weakness and shattered in mind
until she scarcely knew what she did, and was
no longer responsible for her acts. My
soul went out to her in pity; ] blamed my
self for want of prudence and foresight. for
thought that all this had been the result OF her
undue affection for me. had profound feeling
that | would bear any blame and take any pun
ishment if that poor child could only emerge from
this cloud and be put back into the happiness from
which had been, az / thought, IL not the cause
the occasion of Withdrawing her. If my
own daughter had been in a, similar case, my
grief at her calamity could scarcely have
been greater. Moreover, from the anger
and fury of Mr.. Tilton, / apprehended that this
charge, made by him and supported by the
accusation of his wife, was to be at once
publicly pressed against me, and If IL was
had nothing but my simple word OF denial to
interpose against it. In my then morbid condi-
ton of mind / thought that this charge, although
entirely untrue, might result in great disaster, if
not in absolute ruin, to the great interests which
were entirely dependent upon me-the church
which 1 had built up, the book which i was
writing my own immediate family, my brothers
name. now engaged in the ministry, my sisters.
the name which had hoped might live after me
and be in some slight degree source of strength
and encouragement 10 those who should succeed
me. and above all, the cause for which had de-
voted my life seemed imperiled. 1t seemed to
me that my lifc-work was to end abruptly and in
disaster My earnest desire to avoid public ac-
cusation and the evils which must necessarily
flow from 1t, aud which now have resulted from
IL, has been one Of the leading motives that must
explain my action during these four years
with reference to this matter. 1t was in such a
sore-distressed condition that Monlton found
me. Ills manner was kind. However, he con
sidered that had been seeking Tlton's down
fall that / had leagued with Mr.. Bowen against
him, and, by my advice, came destroying
his family. / did not need any argument or per
suasion to induce me to do and say anything
which would remedy the injury of which then
believed had certainly been the occasion, II not
the active cause; but Moulton urged that having
wronged Tilton so, the wrong meant his means
of support suddenly taken away, his reputation,
his family destroyed, and that had done 1t. He
assured me of his own knowledge that the stories
which had heard of Tfton's impurities of life
and which had believed and repeated to Bowen
were all false, and that Tilton had been faithful
to his wife. l was persuaded into the be-
lief of what he said. and felt convinced of
the Islander in its meanest form. He drew pic
ture of Tilton wronged in reputation, position,
and purse. shattered In his family where he woud
otherwise have found refuge, and at the same
time looking upon me out OF his deep distress;
while was Astounding in friends most popular
and with ample means. He drew the picture Of
my prosperity, overlooking and Astounding, and
Tilton's utter degradation. i was most intensely
excited Indeed. / felt that my mind was In
danger Of giving away; walked up and down the
room, pouring forth my heart in the most nnre-
strained grief and bitterness Of selfaccusation,
telling what my ideas were Of the obligation Of
friendship and OF the sacredness Of the house
hold; denying however, an intentional wrong
SAYING that II / had been the cause however
remotely, OF that which | then beheld l never
could forgive myself, and heaping all the blame
on my head The case as IL then appeared 10
my eyes was strongly against me. My old friend
and fellow worker had been dispossessed of his
eminent place and influence, and had counseled
IT; his family had well-nigh been broken up,
and had advised it; his wife had been long sick
and broken in health and body, and i, as j fully
believed had been the cause of all this wreck
by continuing that blind heedlessness and friend
ship which had beguiled her heart and had reused
her husband into fury Of jealousy, although not
caused BY any Intentional act of mine; and
should coldly defend myself; should pour in
dignation upon this lady; should i hold her up
TO contempt az having thrust her affections upon
me unsought; should tread upon the man and
his household in their great adyersityf ] gave
vent to my feelings without measure. i dis
claimed with great earnestness any intent to
harm Theodore in his home or his business and
with inexplcable sorrow both blamed and de-
Tended Mrs. Tit0n in one breath.
Mr. Moulton was apparently affected by my
soiloquy, for il was that rather than converse
tion. He said that II Tilton could really be per
suaded OF the friendliness Of my feelings toward
him he was sure that there would be no trouble in
procuring a reconciliation. gave him leave 10
state 10 Theodore my feelings. He proposed that
should write a letter. 4 declined, but said that
he could report our interview. He then prepared
to make q memorandum OF the talk, and sat down