The Ottawa free trader., 1874-05-30
Old Squire Skaggs' Jamboree.

The ascent to the bland atmosphere Of the
editorial rooms of the Morning Netcs is a
somewhat t0rtuous and complicated one, and
it requires all the sagacity of tho young vii
lain who edits our waste basket to safely con
voy the casual visitor up the perilous steps
Occasionally, however, there is to be found
q Selfreliant caller, who sCOrns to be ushered
into the editorial presence, and this was the
case with the old gentleman who dropped in
upon us yesterday morning.
We were engaged in writing a caustic and
damaging reply TO an article in the Carriers
vile Standard and Express on the availabili'
~ of sassairass tea as beverage, when sud
denly the sanctum door swung open and a.
stranger entered. He wore copperas suit
quilted hat of the same material, and his
homespun shirt was adorned with loose and
flowing collar. His boots were Of the most
substantial species, and he lmped slightly as
be walked. He wore brass mounted specta.
cles, and carried a cane with neatly polish
cd horn head. His hair was grey, but his
face was ruddy with health, and jOcand
twinkle shone in his eye. Before accepting
our invitation to one Of the hospitable chairs,
the visitor looked carefully around the room,
newspaper man with considerable intensity.
"Young man, Is this the place whar they
print the papers?"
We replied afiirmatvely and offered to sup
port our assertion with The affidavit of any
number of disinherited persons ~
We'll, myname is 5kaggs-Squire Skaggs,
ofGwinne,t. Cousin John Thrasher, at Nor
cross, knows me like book. ! thought I'd
Jest drap in and sec how you wuz gittin
along" ~. ID - q
We expressed great qualification at meet
ing tlic squire, and then We called his atten-
ilon 10 the vile attempt Of a correspondent of
the Cartervillc SHqdard aHd ErDresS to sup.
plant Tyson and Ooong with sassafras tea
The Squire looMcd thoughtful for moment,
and then remarked:
Thar aint no humbus abou. sassatac
Next 10 a hot toddy gimme sassafac. My
ole oman keeps II continerly on hand. Thar's
two kinds OF sassatac, the white sassafac and
the red sassaac; the red is the kind you git
the tea irum. It's mighty warmin'."
Then the Squire paused, adjusted his spec.
tacleS, leaned back in his chair and gazcd
pensivcly at the lifc-lIke portrait Of General
Lee which graces the sanctum of the MorBtug
Ners
"Sassaiac's good enough in It's way, but [
dropped IN to see ct couldn't git you to
We unostentatously inquired the nature Of
the communication
You see,' said the Squire, pitching his
voice to an eXegetica altitude, "p was Sortcr
ms way Last Chucsday wuz week a.o,
sailed down to Ataniy with SEWN bags of
cotton. Arlcr / sold 'cm, | kinder l0afed
Ioun' looNln AT things IN general, and fcclln'
Jest as happy as YOU plcczc, when who should
| run agin but Kurnel Blascnramc Me an
the kurnel used 10 be boys together AN, ",
wuz ez thick eZ five kittens in a rag basLe,
We drunk outen the same goad, an wc Co
the linz snatched outen us 10y the same handy
legged school-teacher. | WIZ gittin' cz lone
some ez a rain-crow, aforc | struck up witt
the Kurnel, an | wuz glad to see him-lurn
ed glad. We knocked ronn' town rich
smartually, an the Kurnel interiuccd me 10
whole raft of fellers-mighty nice boys the
WuZ, TOO Arter supper the kurncl says:
Skaggs," says he, "less go to my room
whar we kin talk over ole times sorter con
Portable an ondisturbed like"
"Greable," says |, an We walked "A squaI
or so an turned into an alley an walked u
- narrer par Of stars. The Kurnel gin lit
rap al green door, and sick lookin' me
latter popped out an aXed Us in. He WI
the durndest perlItest niger YOU ever see
He jest got up and spun arouu' like a to
cat with her tail ahre The room wuz eZ fl
ez fiddle, an | thought to myself that d
Kurnel wuZ lugsuriant cuss Thar wlz
lot of mighty nice fellers scattered roun'
laffin' an ialkin quite soshable like. Az
rienily the Kurnel wuzent much sot bac
for he sorier kinder lated t. himself an tn,
he says;
aBoys,r says be, Il hey fetched up frer
ledge Hightower. this is Squire Skaggs,
Gwirnet. Major Briggs, Squire Skaggs," a
80 on all roun' Then The kurnel turns
me an says;