The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1874-04-10
ALL SORTS.
OLD yans-Darned stockings.

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OLD yarns-Darned stockings.
The patent office has just reported
favorably on three new kinds Of
corkscrews.
John A. Randan, Of Chenango,
was recently beguiled of a finger by
a deceitful buzz saw.
Speaking Of becoming attire, what
thing is most likely to become wo-.
mani Why, a little girl, of course.
A Brooklyn sewing society fines
any member who talks scandal,
$l.00 for each offence only the
wealthy are able to attend.
Conscience doth make towards of
us all, particularly Of Michigander,
who, on being arrested for larceny,
promptly confessed to burglary,
bigamy and infanticide.
The difference between having a
tooth properly drawn by a profess
ional surgeon, and having it knocks
ed out cellaneously by a fall on
the pavement, is only a slight dis
tinction--one is dental and the other
accidental.
A modest young husband sent the
following message over the wires to
friends in this city the other day !:
s'See ninth chapter Of Isaiah, sixth
verse;" The dusty old Bible was
hauled down in an instant, and the
above chapter and verse were hunt
ed out and found to explain ALL.
The verse reads, "For unto US a
child is born--unto us a son is giv>
en-"
A genius ia popularity said to be
one who can do everything except
make living.
An old lady on a train not far
from Lafayette, hearing the brakes
man sing out, "Eubank's Cut, I" sail
ed to the door and asked: t'1s he
hurt much ~
A Western paper says of the air,
in its relations to man : ut kisses
and blesses him, but will not obey
him." Blobbs says that that de-
scription suits his wife exactly.
1t was North Carolina landlord
who posted the notice in his dining
room that members of the Legisla-
ture would be the first seated, and
afterward the gentlemen.
"Jack," said man to lad just
entering his teens, "your father il
drowned.' "Hang IT," replied the
young hopeful, "and he's got my
jack knife in his pocket
Some men never lose their pres
ence Of mind. In Milwaukee last
week man threw his mother in
law out Of a window in the fifth
story Of a burning building, and
carried feather bed down stairs in
his arms.
There will not be volcano If the
women crusaders succeed ia ex-
tinguishing the crater"
To certain non-paying subserib-
ers who want to stop the paper, the
Columbia Herald says, very points
eddy, but rather rudely, "pay up,
and then stop and be damned
THERE is q Danbury legend to
the effect that party desiring to
transact some private business with
another, was invited to step into a
| neighboring store. "But we will be
disturbed there" said the first par
ty. 20, no said" said the other,
''they don't advertise"
Very blonde hair 10 called eight
fantastic tow"
"A movement Is on foot to or
ganise society for the purpose Of
preserving the records Of the Medical
Department ofths Confederate army,
and gathering together such infor~
nation In connection with the De-
partment as will be Of valuable
service to the scientific world. It
has also been determined to meet 10
Atlanta on the Goth Of May next,
for the purpose Of organizing this
society.
Dom. tell child you will do any
thing for it unless you intend to
keep your promise. A strict OBJ
servance Of this rule may save you
the agony Of seeing your child be-
come liar. If you say "I'll skin
you aliyei!" 60 and skin II though it
brings tears to your eyes.
The last Legislature Of Georgia
passed a law exempting from taxa
ton, for term Of ten years, all cap
ital invested in cotton, wooden or
iron manufactures. The exemption
applies to every species Of taxation,
State, County, and Municipal.
Young ladies marrying old men,
should always remember to have it
stipulated in the contract that re-
spectacle life insurance shall be a
part Of the bargain for what is
there so consoiing 10 young widow
in her weeds. or makes us SO atha.