Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-26


wall paper in Doc Writer'S Store.
Our D.--foolish boy--suggests that
maybe Dock is about to connect the
Undertaking business with his pro-
fession. How funny 1t would read !:
ssDook Witter, Physician and Surgeon,
/ Shrouds furnished, all Sizes" but we
won't believe it, it was probably some
material Dock had on hand for testing
the fine qualities Of his Byrant Sewing
Machine.
We are informed that
Mr.. Hiles' book-keeper, Mr.. Walt.
| O'Brien is very sick. What is the
peculiar malady affecting Mr.. O'Brien
we are not informed, but Judge it to
be temporary insanity as it is reported
that Mr.. Krugar of Dexter7ille was
unable to overtake him as he skinned
it through the woods the other day,
probably seeking for DR.. Garfield to
obtain a certificate of disability which
would relieve him of the responsibility
Of appearing as a witness in certain
case before the Court. We hope to
hear of NJ. O'Brien's complete recov-
cry very shortly.
The blood cleansing organs-the
kidneys, skin and liVer-sometimes be-
come clogged and the wheels of life
threaten to stop; congestion of seri-
Gus character has set in. Drug medi-
cation, stimulents, strong cathartics,
all dc harm. The remedy is worse
than the disease, if anything. When
you get in this fix, and your system
feels clogged and ''stopped up" get a
bottle Of Hamilton's Buchu and Dan
delion--a remedy that acts mildly and
kindly on the kidneys and liver, and
opens up and relieves the system by
their healthful action. II. B. Philleo
& Co. Grand Rapids and Centralia
have it. Try it.
Mad dogs are rampant in Chicago.
Two were killed there last week after
having bitten seventeen persons and
some dozen or more worthless ours.
When we reflect that those bitten can
hope only for brief putting off Of the
terrible malady, hydrophobia, and
that the worthless whelps impregnated
with the virus will soon be upon the
war path endangering human life. the
aspect, lis simply frightful. Dogs at
best are a nuisance, not one in hun
dred rendering service commensurate
to the provender they consume They
ought to be cur-tailed, every dog gone
K 8. When we hear an urchin sing
ing ''Keyser don't you want to buy
dog? or any such dog-gerel we become
very dog-matic, and feel that if we
were Vanderbilt we'd buy the whole
breed and squelch the universal dog
gerry.
We have all heard of the Reform
School; but this recitation occurred
elsewhere.
Teacher: The class in Politico-Re-
form Philosophy will recite.
Teacher: What is Reform?
Pupil: AS Webster defines the term
it is to correct, to amend,' and i'm
plies improvement.
Teacher: Name some of the great
reformers of the world-some g though
lost to sight, to memory dear
Pupil: Martin Luther, Cromwell, |
and St. Paul
Teacher Name some who though |
not lost to sight, are not to memory
dear to any great extent. |
Pupil: Andrew johnson, Brick
Pomeroy, Gov. Taylor. Sat Clark and
DR.. Wight.
Teacher: Mention some peculiarities
of Modern Reform
Teacher: The uniting of men to OPP
pose railroad monopoly as opposed to
the interests, of agricultural interests
under the title of "Granges " and
{. Patrons Of Husbandry'' and then
joining hands with their common enc
my, the Railroads, in the election of a
man who is supposed to care fer the in
terests of each with perfectly unset |
fish zeal. How he is to do the remark
able feat is yet to be witnessed.
Teacher Any other peculiarities?
Pupil: Modern reform makes strange
bedfellows. The average modern re-
former wishes to form an alliance with
the whiskey interests, and has done so
to the extent of repeating the best an
ti-liquor law ever enacted
Tp0c5or. Apv morn2