The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1874-09-04
a LII SORTS.

--One who can always get bread
when he kneads it-a baker.
"A Memphis paper defines advert.
ising 10 be a ."blister which draws
trade" as.
Jones says the reason why he iso /
married is because when he wooed she
! " ouldn't.
The feet that are covered with
bunious may not be stylish Lai they
are certainly knobby.
You cant eat enough 10 a week to
last you year, and you can advertise
ou that plan either.
--Bayard Taylor has secured the
private correspondence that passed be-
tween Joseph aud Potiphar's wife.
Sly boy.
--"If ! should die, dear, where
would you gop "GOi TO after your
insurance money" was the reply Of
fond wife.
A Detroit husband is in trouble
for whipping his wife because the baby
did not take frst.clasS prize at baby
show.
Are there any fools in this town.
asked stranger OF a newsbody. Il
don't know, replied the boy, "are you
lonesome;'
IA fortune teller has predicted that
Mark Twain will die this year but be
is only going to start paper, which is
pretty close for fortune teller.
"A Maud Muller laughed heartily
at young haymaker when yellow jac
kets got up his nankeen trousers; but
when they got up herr it was no Joke.
Tomatoes were first used in this
country as an edible in 1918, but they
did not come into general use until
more than twenty years subsequent to
that date.
The New York Commercial Ad-
vertiser states that up TO date, 500
dogs have gone to the "happy land Of
canine"
"A Pennsylvania bet $4,000 that
he could eat fifty quarters Of peanuts in
% hours. He got away with forty and
then death got away with him.
One Of the most yexatious things
ia the world is TO have your wife 5
uncle kicked in the stomach by horse,
will you $50, 900 aud then deliberately
got well.
"A New York minister, preaching
the funeral sermon OF a famous skater,
said he had gone where there was no
ice. That WAS capable OF very serious
Interpretation.
A boy in Burlington says Hawk
eve wants to bet dollar aud half
that he wears his mothers slipper on
his jacket more hours per day than she
wears i, on her foot.
A French paper points out how
the passion for gambling is shown III
this country, it being necessary even IN
wedding notices to state that there
were mo cards.
What pity it is said lady tl
Garrick, that you are not taller. ~
should be happy indeed, madam, to be
higher III your estimation replied thu
actor.
-Cowper's celebrated line, Eng
land, with all thy faults, l love the
still, was thus psrodicd BY whisky
loving lrishman ireland, with al
ting faults, love thy still
/ The San Francisco sea captain
who traded the ships iiibleior thirteeI
plugs Of tobacco, Is spoken OF very sew
!. erely by the religious press OF ths
city.
-"Old age is coming upon me RAPID
20 Nv =" as the urchin said when he wa
stealing apples from an old mans ea'
den, and saw the owner coming with
stick
The question is frequently aske,
How much is horse puwer?' W
saw a man who was kicked by hor
the other day, but he is too sick
tell"
70 There were two mad dogs IN TOW
this week. At least We Judged them
be SO from the manner in which tn
"ftn aud "chawed' each other.
-"Did you execute this instrume
without fear of compulsion from 20
~ husband" blandly asked the judl
10 Fear Compulsion He compel n
| reckon you don't know me, judge
Somebody has discovered Il
poe's raven, sitting on the bust of 2
mo las, could not have cast shadow
ac, the fioor, because the light could
M, have been behind or above him.
ket According to the Brooklyn
. pus, seventeen suicides have been pr
II poned in consequence OF the anxiety
H. the candidates to hear what FRI
Moulton knows about it. a.
There are only two men in Al
dis, aica who make a speciality Of the m
ana ana ufacture Of hand-orgaus. just I'll
how easy il would be to kill those
has men, and yet they still live
Sing. Sing official; Of you b