Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-01-08
The Cat.

cS, SIT, L KNOW lOJS OF m6n VINO
will start up in bed and SILVER and
shake, and curse and swear If a
tom-cat, prowling along the garden
fence, but opens his jaws and utters
one single yell On the contrary,
the midnight cat never dissurbs me.
In fact, l like to lay and listen to
the music of a dozen cats holding
mass convention on the garden
fence.
As the first cat breaks out L heave
a sigh and wonder if the world
would not be as well off without
cats. but L don't get mad. Some
men zeal around and declare that
they'll never sleep again until they
kill every cat within a Gil Gle of four
hundred and fifty miles; and moth
ing will soothe them.
After the third yell l wonder if it
wouldn't be just as well if some
bad boy should buy an ounce of
arsenic, a pound of meat, and dis
tribute the two around the back
yard, but 1 don't go further. Some
men jump out of bed and yell:
"Where in thunder is that boot
jack-where's a club?"
And they rush to the door and
sling clubs and yell ''scat!' and
wake every body on the block.
After the fifth yell, l wonder if |
hadn't better raise the window and
ask the cats to adjourn around the
block, on account of my wife's
nervousness, but l don't get mad.
Some men allow their hair to come
right up. fall over chairs, stub their
toes against the stove and exclaim:
"Hel en- Blazes, but mont l sicken
those felines!'
By and by the cats a bowling
and my eye-lids begin to ache. l
am rapidly losing consciousness
when the old Maltese rises to a ques-
ton of order, and the opposition be-
gins yelling them down. He yells
back, and | get up to see what time
it is. and then | wonder if it would
not be as well for me TO go out there
and explain matters, and entreat
the convention to go down the fence
to the grape arbor. Mind, | don't
around after the shot gun. and
wake up my wife and ask her for
powder and old nails and broken
and bark my shin on the stove
hearth and call out: "I'll kill a mill
ion cats to pay for this!"
Maltese yields the floor, and the
convention goes ahead in an orderly
l imagine that the bust
ness which called the crowd together
has been disposed of, and creep back
to bed. My wife wakes up and
wants TO know what [ got up for,
and | tell her that | was after the
peppermint for my neuralgia Some
men would lay and jaw and fume
for an hour, and finally get up a fight
with their loving partners.
| just close my eyes to sleep when
old Maltese offers an amendment to
some motion, and the opposition go
for him again. He yells back. splits
at them in scorn, and they fall upon
him. He then backs under my
window and stands at bay. | creep
put of bed and seize a club; but
drop it again as | remember that |
I'm not mad. 1t would, perhaps,
be well to step TO the door, and
throw the boiler. and the wood box.
md the cupboard, and the ak, and
he woodpIle, and the whole sum-
ner-kitchen at the cats, but refrain,
md merely tap on the window and
lrge old Maltese to cover himself
With glory. Some men would grab
Up the table or sofa, or the first
hing handy and calculate: "I'm a
inner if / didn't murder somebody
n something"
Years of observation have con.
'Inced me that the general anti
'athy to cats is entirely unfonnd
Quad on Preside Friend.