The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1874-03-26
ASTORY WITH A MORAL,

Once upon time an editor after
revolving in his weary mind a few
of the wearing problems which are
the mysteries of his singular profes.
sion, left the seclusion of his office,
Gt was before the exchange fiend's
hour) and sailed forth into the busy
world to do among men as he was
done by. He had long years before
been disabused of any impression
which might have haunted his mind
that he knew more about that bust.
ness than the unfortunate scribbler
did, and never scrupled to tell him
SO. But the poor man thought it
would be very pleasant thing to do
as other men did, and it was for the
purpose of following the general Gus.
tom that he went out on this beauti.
full day 80 long ago. The sun was
shining brightly, the dull distant hum
of insect life in the adjoining country
came family to his ears birds were
singing, and SO serene and peaceful
was the aspect ofnature that it seem
ed impossible that in such bright,
beautiful world there could be so much
misery and wretchedness, wicked
ness, depravity and hunger. But
there was, all the same, for there
was the editor to prove it. He went
into the Office of lawyer with whom
he was acquainted and seated him.
self In a ch air, put his feet on the
desk and began to whistle in loud
tore. The attorney looked astonish-
ed, and asked what his visitor want.
ed. He said nothing, but took
bundle ofpapers from pigeon hole
and began to look them over and
read them oat loud. "Bloobs VS.
Snobs-hello, you retained in that
case, Cognovit ?' At this point the
indignant lawyer took his visitor by
the neck and gently but firmly kick
ed him down stairs. Sand yet,
mused the unhappy man, as he rose,
brushed off his clothes, aud went
limp,ng on his way, "tbat man was
in my office day before yes erca
and read three OF my articles before
they were published. 1t is singular
how different it is when read his"
tie went into dry goods store and
had just time to get behind the count
er when lady came in and asked
for brown satin. "Yes, ma'am," he
said, aud after creating an earth
quake in that part of the store, he
followed her directions and got
what she wanted. "How much DO
you want ?" he asked, "about half a
column p She started. "Thlrty or
forty lines be enough ?" he inquired.
She said she wanted half yard.
"Ah !" he said. eyes, yes, about
eighteen squares, yes, yes" Sand
cut on the bias" she continued.
"Certainly," he said, "buy as much
as you please" And he began to
tear the goods in various shapes,
when one of the clerks saw him, col
Jared him, put him out and told him
to send the paper around until it paid
for the damage. "And yet" the
poor man unused, as he went on,
"that very man wrote two articles
for the paper the other day, declar-
ing that they were better than any
thing lad written for six months,
and although forty subscribers stop
ped their paper when they were
published, he never sent anything
around to pay for it, or even made
such suggestion" He turned sad.
ly into drug store, took prescrip.
ton from a poor woman standing
there, looked at it wisely, and then
took little quinine, some arsenic,
morphine, a little strychnine, pat
them up in powders, and told the
woman to give her husband one
every two hours until he didn't com.
plain any more about his head. AS
she went out of the store the woman
spilled one of the powders on dogs
back, and he died in three seconds.
The editor was arrested. and only
released on giving a solemn pledge
to support the Sheriff for reelection.
"How is it," he wondered, s'that all
classes of men, of all occupations,
have found time not only to perfect
themselves in their own business
and professions, but also to master
mine more thoroughly than l have
been able to do by giving my entire
time and strength to it ?' He sigh.
ed as he walked into bank. He
put his head in at the paying-teller's
window and shouted 'Hello !" az
loud as he could roar, after the jo
vial manner in which the junior
clerk was wont to salute the sanctum
after banking hours. Then he drum
med on the glass with his fingers
sang verse of q funny song with g
rolicing chorus and was elected with
great elan by the porter. II give II
up," he SAID, 81 am the most worth
less OF mankind, don't know how
to attend to any bodv's business bat
my own" And so he walked direct
| ly. back to his dismal sanctum, where
he found seven men, four of them
perfect strangers to him, occupying
the chairs, paving over the exchan
ges, reading the proofs and commen
ting there on, anu making fun OF hi.
pet articles. He sat down on th,
wood. box and tried to think up
leader for the next days paper, anC
dropped tear as he thought of hi
boyhood's happy days and the time
would elspse before the pirate, sit
ting in his own particular arm chair
would get through cutting the bes,
things out of his latest papers and
putting them in his pockets. Bu,
he looked out of the window and
saw his expatriated local trying to
write up his notes against the SIDE OF
a brick house on the other SIDE OF
the street, and he felt some CLEANS
of comfort from company in his mis-
ery. and took courage.
MoRAL.-Hgc .fa6ulo docet.-
There was a moral to this story
when we commenced, but we have
got so far from the commencement
that we have forgotten what it was
Never mind, readers always skiI
the morals anyhow.-Hdaok eye.