River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1874-01-20
Humorous and Witty.
LIGHTHOUSES -Bamboo huts.


LIGHTHoUsEs-Ba huts.
TROUBLES are like dogs-the smaller
they are the more they annoy.
A CIRCUIT coURT-The longest way
home from singing school.
A PHOTOGRAPHER requested that his
sign, "Taken from life, should be his
epitaph.
WANDERING HAIR--found again twice
this week, as per usual, on the break
fast butter.
Tue ready wit OF the Irishman is
proverbial. Few ever tested it with
out the effect of the Pat rejoinders.
CANNIBALrsM hourishes in America.
Here, for instance, is an advertisement
for "a good girl to cook. =
A LITTLE fellow crept away from his
pious mamma at book store, and
whispered to clerk, "Say, havn't you
any books to sell without any religion
in them ~
"BoY, WHATS become of the hole
saw in your pants the other day z"
Young America. carefully examining
his unmentionables, "Its worn out,
sir.
You yawn," said a lady to her
husband. s'My dear" replied the
husband, "a man and his wife are
but one, and when alone | become
weary"
A SCHOOL inspector in Alsace, short
time ago. asked well-known bright
urchin if he knew the Savior's name.
The hoy answered correctly. How
did lie die ~ "They killed him."
"Who9" 1.-The Prussians2"
FIRsr little boy Oh, that eggs
done now I'm sure. It's been in five
minutes by the clock.
Second ditto" oh, it amt ready
yet, then, because that clocks too
| fast y
"TAKE wing, gushed a pompous
upstart, extending his bent arm to
sensible young lady, at the close of the
PRAYER MEETING. mot OF a gander,n
she quickly replied, and walked home
with her mother.
AN undecided fellow courted lady
2S wears and then married her. She
turned ont a perfect virago, but died
in two years after the wedding. "Now,
said he, in a self-congratulatory tone,
"see what have escaped by a long
courtship.'
The st. Louis Christian Advocate
has no ear for music, and complains
that church choir is sacTiligeous
when the line :" We are going home to
die no more is rendered over going
home 10 DInah More, to Dinah More,
20 Dinah More.
THE latest meaning evoked cut of
ShakspeaTes text comes from Boston
A member Of a society, who appeared
az Emelia, in response 20 Othellos
query OF "Do you think my wife be
honest Z" " Honest My Lord !"
"Why don't you wear hair
and things, aud dresses, and look like
other women 2" Wife-"What and
have everybody say, What pity that
handsome woman married that ugly
little man Oh, no ~
A NEGRO preacher holding forth to
bis congregation upon the subject of
obeying the commandments OF God,
said " Bredren, whatever God tells
me to do in dis book holding up the
Bible), dat I'm gwine to do. III l see
in ii dat | must jump troo a stone
wall, I'm gwine to jump at It. Going
troo it longs to God, jumpin' at IL longs
10 me.
AN army OF afflicted feminines will
appreciate this little dirge from the
Boston Traveller
How has the busy little moth
Improved our winter iurs
From eating NUTS and sealskin hats
No eamphor II detcrs.
SARAH-s'The japanese are not
allowed TO wear boards, mum, are
they ~
Mistress -.sWhat an extraordinary
question, Sarah. i never saw one with
a beard. think, perhaps, it's more
the custom TO shave.
Sarah (of rather mixed ideas -"Ior,
mum, / shouldn't think they'd 90 and
do that Take all the Japan of, mum,
wouldn't il I"
A Missouri paper says: "The custom
Of putting powder in sticks Of wood for
your neighbor b. steal is an old and
barbarous one, and when we passed by
house the other morning and saw the
family shivering out In the yard over a
broken stove, and heard the children
crying for breakfast, our heart was
filed with bitter reflections or mans
inhumanity 10 man. ~
jon says his patience is nearly. ex-
hausted by watching the women Of the
period. He met Miss Fuss-and-Feath.
ers lately on Broadway, She wore 2
crown OF plumes around her head ana
/ long trailing ones down her back; her
Jacket was grit round and about WIN
feathers. She could not have carried
more feathers unless previously tarreus;
L NIn fine, = quoth job, who i iona 9
Scriptural quotations, she looked ~
though she had taken up her bea anu
walked.