The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1874-12-19
NUMBER Is.
Laughing Gas.

UeItlDg IOW-UettlDg hlgh."
Blind justice-A judge asleep.
The butcher is mightier than the pen.
Even the LATEST boy can catch .
licking.
A scar nobly got is good livery of
honor.
The bored of education-Children
who hate school.
"Volnnt tary abduction is what q
Western newspaper calls an elope-
ment.
An armless Milwaukee woman boxes
her husbands ears with her feet.
When man amt good for any thing
else, he is about right to sit on a jury.
Fire is said to be dissipated ele-
ment, because it goes out almost every
night.
A mother-in-la is not heavenly
body, but she has often eclipsed
honeymoon.
When boy becomes bent on goiug
to sea he should be Strengthened out
before the mast.
Henry Clay describes n mule as "an
animal that las no pride Of ancestry
and no hope of posterity."
A man of considerable capacity"
iD Cincinnati, is D man who can eat
his six or seven pounds of pork day.
Two horns will last an OK lifetime,
but many man wants that number
every morning before breakfast.
"Off she goes!" said a lady. "You
have mistaken the gender" said a
gentleman, "tbis is mail-traip."
A lively frog in the interior of a
growing tnrnip is the latest product
Of journalistic ingenuity at Salt Lake
City.
A Niagara county man asked to be
excused from serving as juror, tho
other day, because "his mother-in-
law was sick"
A French preacher describes hell
as place where they talk politics all
day. What they do ut night he does
not report.
Some body advertises preparation
for keeping a lady's hands free from
chaps. A report that she has NO
money would do the same thing.
Nothing will sooner tempt bach
elor to abandon his resolution to
marry than to sleep in the adjoining
room to couple With q colicky baby.
Mrs. McFarlapd- Richardson is teach
ing the wax flower business in Chica-
60, aud Daniel, SO far as. the public
is informed, has gone to judgment.
The Emperor Francis Joseph has
decorated all the members Of tie Aus
trian Polar Expedition. They will
be upholstered and carpeted next
week.
Miss Bacon, who lived out West,
knew Beans and married him. The
occasion is far too serious, however,
for the perpetration Of a single one of
those too palpable jokes.
The maddest kind of woman is
one who spends q half hour in arraDg-
ing her toilet before descending to
the parlor On the arrival Of a visitor
who proves to be an agent.
An Iowa father, who has succeeded
in raising seventeen of the worst chill
dren in his neighborhood, says he is
bound to have a representative in
Heaven if it takes seventeen more.
A couple of fellows who were pretty
soaked with bad whisky,
got into a gutter. After foundering
for some time one of them said: ''Let's
go to another house, this hotel leaks"
New York is disgusted at bashful
young clergyman who was reading
the Holy Scripture in this way "And
Immediately the cock wept and Peter
went out and crew.n-Mil,rqukee
Ncus.
A party of Sioux Indians stole a
patent ice cream freezer, thinking it
was hand organ, and all the big
men turned the crank week
before they concluded there was no
music in it.
"What have you been doin' Z"
asked a boy of his playmate, whom
he saw coming out of the house with
tears i'll his eyes. I've been chasin'
a birch rod round my father was the
snarling reply.
The fog was so thick in Troy early
the other morning that the Times SOL
EMMY AYERS one could not distinguish
a policeman from hitching post across
the street, if he didn't know that hitch,
ing posts never snore.
It now turns out that oat meal does
not make brain after all, and the Phil
adelphia editors who had laid in a
dozen barrels apiece for winter nso
will be almost mad enough to give it
to the poor.-Detroit Free Press.
Recent experiments with cats have
proved that full developed tabby
can successfully evade the rapid ap-
proach Of two bootjacks, bar of CASTLE
soap, pair of No. 10 boots, u gold
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