The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1874-01-15
The Man who Became a Jackass.
A Loug-Eured Metnmorporsis.

n LOnE-ENftU
Almost any reader can point ou
among his acquaintances 'regula
donkey" but the genuine metamorpho
sis of man into long -eared animal o
that kind somewhat resembles the ro
mances we meet with in the "Arabial
Knights" The following narrative o
d such change is rather laughable, anC
the adventures may be called comica
of the man who was changed into {
I jackass.
"Jackass ~ exclaimed my employer
T, to me one day, angrily. "Jackass ?
yes, my mother used to say so, too, but
she didn't like to hear any one else say
so. "Well, | wouldn't mind if we're q
! jackNss in good earnest, | replied 81
surely couldn't be more beast of bur.
den than am now." Suddenly be
gan to ieel something very queer about
my ears. They appeared to be shoot
iGg mp. They were acquiring the pow
er of motion too. My fingers fell off,
and the palms of my hands seemed
turning into hoofs. My head began to
get long and to terminate in protrud
ing jaw. | felt something growing ont
behind, which began to swing and slash
in a variety,of evolutions. I was in very
truth n jackass, ran rather helplessly
down the street, in the hope that some
one would claim me. At length [ was
taken, out of mere pity I suppose, by
man, who put me in a stable with his
pig and his COW.
In the morning my master came to
see me, was so delighted at the pros
pect of human sympathy, that / COM
menced to kick and rear, and tried to
speak, bur found, alas / could only
bray. "What the devils got into the
crathur!" exclaimed my master, aston
Z ished. Remembering that such extra
ordinary demonstrations might be look
ed upon as viciousness, | restrained my
feelings. isn't it sathisfoid yez are
wild yer quarthers? ?" inquired my mas
ter, STOPPING over, a hand on either
knee. and lookinn up into my face. /
bowed my head three times in assent,
wagging my ears, and endeavoring to
give him my right hoof. "Och its a
moighty intelligent baist, it is p ex-
claimed my master, in establishment.
In short, on further acquaintance, he
concluded to turn Snowman. So, with
a halter about my neck, was led forth,
and commenced my professional life as
a stroller
I used to tell the time Of bay by lift
ing my right foot for the hours, and my
left for the minutes. Would pick out
the prettiest girl in the crowd with a
profound reverence play at cards, etc
We rose rapidly to distinction, my mas
ter and ], and in short, | ac-
quircd fortune for my master.
One cay while performing at a side
show, l had the mirfortune, thought
it then, to fall in love with very
beautiful young lady. was a little
staggered at first, when / remembered
that ! was only an ass but rejecting
on the number of fair damsels already
won by donkeys, l took courage. My
master and / had come to so thorough
az understanding of one another with
ont the aid of language, that I soon
succeed in communicating to him the
state of my feelings, making known at
the sametime the object of my affections.
Either appreciating the joke himself,
or looking for some personal benefit, he
led me to my adored ones father, who
burst into such loud haw.haw, on hear
ing the statement, that hung my head
and dropped my ears in vericst morti6.
caiion. The young lady herself was
horr1fied at the suggestion, and /, like
the most ardent admirers, viewed her
objections as very unreasonable. After
much difficulty succeeded in giving
my master to understand that it would
be necessary FOR him to pour over my
entire body the contents of can of
kerCsenb. / then took a match anil,
holding it between my teeth, used all my
eloquence to persuade the fair lady to
set me ablaze. In the attempt I should
have unquestionably tailed had / not,
IN my ardor, approached SO near her
beautiful new suit as to completely dis
figure it with the oil. Angered, enraged,
she seized the taper, exclaiming
Dirty beast You shall burn" and
set me a-fre. Then seeing me writh-
ing in torment, she buried her face in
her hands. She looked up at the sonnd
OF her name. Linda, my beloved"
said /, and she saw at her feet no lon
ger a iackass, but the form of a hand
some youth, who clasped his hands, and
exclaimed in rapture Fair maid,
accept the lifelong devotion os the
captive you have freed" "Am | dream
lng?' replied the maiden "where is
the jackass ?" Here, at your feet"
answered. In short, prevailed. The
father was won over without difficulty,
as half tho profits of my exhibition had
been placed to my credit, and had
large bank account. My former master
regretted my loss, yet could not but re-
joice at my. good fortune, for his wealth
was also ample, and we 70 med plan
to exhibit me as "the man who had
been q jackass," but finally d, cided
upon "the jackass who became a man"
l have now lived very happily with
my wife for five years. My old master,
through his wealth, has become q dis
tinguished politician. have but one
source Of regret, and that is, that my
ears, not being thoroughly saturated
with the oil, have retained too much of
their original shape and proportions.
My friends still accuse me of being
over-credulous at times, and say that
my wife, in particular, takes advantage