Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-10-23

the inmates OF each log hut or suacious
mansion, as the case may be, to have due
notice OF the approach Of a stranger before
he gets to the door, was going 10 saw cate.
but all residences do not rave such aDpli-
anceS; and then it is much safer, and far
more advisable, to stop and halloo from a
secure place, as L, alas, have learned by
sad, yet practical, knowledge.
Then another interesting fact, known
only to the veteran agent, is that. having
introduced yourself and business in the
most pleasant manner Imaginable, and as
surfing yourself that you are out of danger
from canine interference, you learn from
the head of the family, who sometimes saws
grace at meal time, that he was ssrascally
taken IN by an itinerant tree peddler. and
he don't want to be swindled any more"
l will, for convenience, call the first man
who apprised me of the above facts Mr.. A..
and, finding him a tough customer, will
call over and see Mr.. B., who, l find, has
gone TO town, simply because he had moth
ing to do at home. However, | am CURLY
informed by Mr.. B. that her 'man' said he
wouldn't buy Of these stree fellers- any
more, cause the trees he got wouldn't
grow.
Meeting with Squire c., l hear the re-
markable story of his having been s-hum-
bugged by the last agent, who was a light
ning-rOd man, who bored him out of $50
and, besides, 'there hadn't been a first-class
thunder shower since, and the crops were
perishing from drOuth.'
Finding no trade in the Squire, l bid
him good-day and call at the residence of
old farmer D., who is busy trying 10 pillow
a piece of new ground lust three-fOurths of
a mile off the road. Taking across fields,
| happen to find the old chap just at an I'M
fortune moment; for the DlOwshare. strik-
ing a root, the handles came suddenly into
painful proximity to the drivers provision
and storage receptacle, which sets him to
cussins aloud.
L greet farmer D very pleasantly and
assure him that he has a fine team of Oxen
and the richest looking soil / nave seen in
my travels, finally ~insinuating that 'trees
would grow there but my customer is in
no mood for trade, as he is well aware that
trees have grown there, for he finds their
roots, which come near stopping his motive
power.
Taking a farewell without having met
with success, 1 wend my way back, with
the assurance of "a bill next season."
L drive frantically over the country until
| meet face 10 face with Mai. E., and
after making myself secure from his two
mastifls and rat-terTier, proceed to make
known my calling. With tearsinmy eyes,
l explain 10 the Major that my mission is
10 do not only him, but those who follow
in his footsteps, much good, by introducing
sure aAd prolific bearers, adapted to soil
and climate, etc. Then, as a clincher, |
casually mention that l mean honesty,
which draws forth a grOWl from the Major,
who says sharply: "YOung man, that's
old among us HOOsiers. These id East
ern swindlers have preceded you, sir;
we've had our eye teeth cut before, sir, by
agents.
Feeling that the agency must be disre-
putable in said n~eighbOrhOod, l inquire the
nearest route to the interior, hoping TO
meet with more success and a place TO lay
my wearied head for the night. / call at
the rs house, and the inmates send me to
the next neighbOT, as ..they never keepped-
dlers over nights, for they had been
'bOged by patent right men" Should they
no. be posted in dialect Of the country, l
would advise our much abused stree Iaen~
10 provide themselves with a pocket die
tiOnary, as Il will be a valuable a%cquisi-
ton 10 their outfit.
Failing inmy powers of elocution to pic
ture to any Of the HOOsicrs the golden OPP
pOrtunitieS presented, | seek lodgings with
p Gruii, Esq, who holds family worship,
night and morning. but takes no stock in
"midde men" He hoped the Changers
will, when they all get TO Congress, pass a
prOhibitOry law against all agents who
travel the highways, etc. Worst of all,
he charges me SIPS, cash, for being a
wayfaring man.
l would not create the impression know
ingly that the HOOsiers residing in POsey
county belong TO the GreenhOrn persuasion
far from il. You Will find sha-pers up
here of both sexes, and they are posted on
every subject you may breach. OF course
some of the young ladies can't help being
the pOssessOrs of ferociOusly red hair and
big feet. The first popularity is somewhat
owing to the soil, which is of a sandy char
acter; while the fact that the fair ones 60
without shoes the greater portion of the
year is a sufficient apology for the enOr-
nous size Of their pedal extremities.
Should any TennesSeeanS besides those of
who already represent the ROsebank
Nursery ever visit Southern Indiana, l
would advise them to come to Mt. Vernon,
the county seat of Posey, thence by hack to
New Harmony, my present place of abode,
and, by the way, one of the most pleasant
little inland towns l ever visited. They
can find a good c'ass of people, with wealth
and refinement TO back them, and who are
not fanatical in their religious or political
/ haven't got married or even
mortgaged myself, as yet; but, should there
come a cold snap, l might possibly take the
mafrimonfal foyer which at nrnSant Is rap-
ing here. FRUIT TREE RAMBLER.