River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1874-06-23
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

WofldF Europe.
a BANK must be poor place TO i'm
part secret, as there is a cash ear and
telle rthere constantly.
IHE longest word in the English lam
guage is smiles, because there Is a mile
between the first and last letters
MORE than 1000 Cinnamon are now
engaged in picking Strawberries in .ha
Santa Clara valley, California.
FIVE hundred Cinnamon left San
Francisco for the fowery kingdom on
May 30.
MosT kinds of roots and banks are
now used as medicines, except the cube
root and the bark of a dog.
WHEN deaf and dumb lovers are mar.
ried, two members of the wedding party
are sure to be unspeakably happy.
WHEN a man says he hasn't any heart
to fight, he means, very often, that he
hasn't the pluck. --Nel0 YORK Le dQe,.
ARRIVAL of the nightingale-That is
a pleasing but injudiciously worded
fact the nightingale has not a rival.
ACCOMPLISHING thing by indirec-
ton For a doctor to keep patients
waiting by putting ON his door In Di-
rectly.
A CELEBRATED barrister was In the
habit of saying: / always study the
feasibility OF a case before I undertake
it.
A FEMALE pawnbroker, hauled up for
extortion, claimed immunity on the
ground that she was 3 loan woman
NeC York Ledger.
The difference between perseverance,
and obstinacy is that one often comes
from strong will, and the other from
II strong won't.
NEVER visit friends without some an
nouncement of your coming. Crockett's
motto is a good one "Be sure you
write, then go ahead.
The season has arrived when smart
people everywhere are asking the CO.
nundrum, why is mosquito like
charity" The gleeful response of
course is-Because it begins to hum.
To RE able TO practice five things
everywhere under heaven constitutes
perfect virtue Gravity, generosity of
soul, sincerity, earnestness and kind
ness.
HAVE often wondered how every man
loves himself more than all the rest OF
men, yet sets less value on his own
opinion of himself than on the opinion
of others.
A BooK-BIEDER had book brought
to him to be rebound. After the Job
G,,,u 1, l., III
try in his day-byok: To repairing the
"Way to Heaven" twenty-five cents.
SPEAKING of Gen. Buffers illness, a
Washington scribe says Eighteen
hours of laborious sin each day and six
hours of troubled sleep demands for
felt"
WHOEVER has gone through much Of
life must remember that he has thrown
away great deal of useless uneasiness
upon what was much worse in appre-
hension than in reality.
1T is precisely the proudest and most
obstinate men who are the most liable
to shift their position and contradict
themselves; everything is easier to
them than to face the simple fact that
they have been thoroughly defeated,
and must begin life anew.
Sam, what kind of fish in salt water
weigh de least % "Why, Julius, what
ignoramus questions you AK your breth-
rem Minims weigh de least, of course"
"No, no, sar-dat's wrong, now; it am
de porpus weighs nothing-cos he'sgot
no scales. ."
GuNNYBAGs dunned Smith for the
amount due on account, and Smith
wrote saying Gunnyhags must let tho
account run awhile longer. Gunnybags
wrathly replied that he wouldn't.
"Then let it run, letorted Smith, and
Gunnybags' was madden than ever
Ne,0 York Ledger.
A FRIEND accused another Of sleeping
church, which he fatty denied, in
sisting that he had been awake all the
time. "Well, then. said the aceuser,
can You tell me what the sermon was
about ?" Yes. 1 can" was the an
swer, 8" it was about half an hour long"
Mr.. Jones'" said old Monebags,
"the times are hard, and will lower
your rent one-half." "Thank you,"
said Mr.. Jones, "and will do all l
can to raise it,. Now, while they thus
work at cross-purposes, is it strange
that capital and labor are reputed to be
at variance ?-NeV York Ledger.
TnE German Reichstag is hereafter
going 10 do its voting by telegraph.
The wires are 10 he so arranged that
each member can indicate his vote from
his scat. In front of the seat are two
buttons, one indicating yes, the other
no. A pressure on the button telegraphs
the vote TO circular table, in front of
the Presidents desk, upon which the
names of all the members are written
down, SO that Immediately after press
ing the button each member can see
piece of paper appear under his name
with his yes or no ON it,
Now, gentlemen, said peripatetic
lecturer 10 somewhat noisy crowd,
who had gathered at one of his seances
in an Eastern village, how would you
like n good BLACKBOARD story? All in
favor will raise their hands" Nine
tonths Of the dexter paws instantly
went mp, and there was a sudden hush
Of all noisy demonstrations. The lee
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