National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-05-04
PORT GRAFTON SKETCHES.
so1rE RRScILTNGs By OUR Special
= ~ -. local ARTIST.


LOCAL INcIDENrs-How SOME MAC
ABoY sEEEzE-sSgFF DISCLOSED A
SECRET HOW A PATENT OFFICE
CLERK MELTED HIS GRocERIEs-AN-
OTHER CANINE ovEB-srEPs Wis Ju-
RISDIoTIoN.
A hospitabie miss, residing on street, gave
brilliant party Mst Saturday evening. fCharley
Skinner was invited. The Skinners hasSe been
hereditarily inclined to attend parties dom the
time rhereofthe memory OF man runsfth not to
the contrary. But It happened that khst at this
particular time Charley had drawback. The
teeth Of the family arc VIGOROUSLY bad So much
90 that they often cavltied before cutting. Char
ley's had unfortunately eavitied andi cut about
tho same time. This gave the second growth an
early start, and before the lad vaS one-and-
twenty all Of his upper incisors we're drawn,
and neat. but lovely fitting platehf false ones
were placed as substitutes. THIS wts the draw
back, and this the source Of all Ms woe He
couldn't talk very plain, and when b did talk
the "blarsted" things would drop nom their
moorings and all his mouth with vuicanized ru b.
Der and remodeled ivory.
Notwithstanding these defects, the hereditary
inclination 10 20 when invited was too over
towering for his pride and he accepted, went, and
was beaten. II was agay party and for while
the ringing laugh and merry voices OF host Of
happy hearts made Charley forget his faulty
mouth and he joined with pleasure in the games
and tricks Of the evening pastine. The eports be-
gan to lag, however, and to renew the life and
merriment OF the party, young gent produced
bottle Of Macboy. snecEe-snuf, took pinch and
passed It around. Charley, not understanding
the peculiar power OF this kind of srnf took
enough to have uprooted the nose Of the Egyptian
Sphynx. II was great mistake on his part at
nrss there Was sickly tickling about the base Of
nose; the bottom o. sAt,fssss began to itch; cold
chills gradually moved up M legs and chased
eyes They were not the tears Of a9ssmlcted
school boy. They were involuntary, spontane0S.,
irrepressible.
| The hair of his head assumed perpendicular,
and the roar In his ears was like that Of unmttl.
gated thunder. He tWltched nervously in his
chair, and then went for his handkerchief. The
latent forces Of his system, combined with the
active, seemed TO concentrate for q frst-class
blowout, and before he could reach his nose with
his hands the shock came. He sneeled, and with
the rapidity Of falling star the false teeth LEFT
the roof Of his mouth, shot across the room struck
the sofa, and rebounding lit on the floor in close
proximity to the very girl above all others that
he wanted to keep the secret from. A contagious
giggle passed through the apartment, and the
situation becoming intolerable Charley snatched
up his vulcanized mouth and made for the 'front.'
door, sneezing and blushing at every move. The
next thing on the programme Will be n meeting
Of the dental association to pass resolutions on the
death Of its unfortunate members.
AN ACCIDENT.
A Patent Once clerk tripped hur-!edly from
Fourteerth-street store with an umbrella in one
hand and groceries, composed Of sugar, rice, tea
and eggs, in the other. 1t was raining hard, in
terspersed with an occasional gust of wind. He
pressed the groceries closer to his bosom and
steered hard at the umbrella to keep It to the
windvard, IS 30 PISSED rapidly over the CON-
mons towards his home. he eyes were fixed on
his groceries when 1t happsfed. Y csme like q
shock to him. He saw the tops Of the bulldogs
and trees jump suddenly ever his head.
The earth sprang towards his face. his foot yS
shooting to the bottom Of post-hole With sppall-
ing quicknesa, and the bundles one by one, tore
FROM him and cavorted about the ground in con-
fusion-the eggs taking the lead. When he
reached bottom tho umbrella took French leave
while he stood hall buried in the hole and silently
viewed the destruction around him. He uses q
cane now, and daily threatens the Board OF Public
Works with annIhilation unless they either re-
move that post-hole or kill 1t.
AN ADHESIVE ruP.
Yesterday, q saucy little pup, which is at pres
emit boarding on College hill, oyerstcpped his
Jurisdiction, apd darted sayagely into q herd Of
cattle feeding on the commons, and caught an old
n,other-in-law Of COW by the tail. 1t was fun at
Arst, but as soon as the pup discovered that his
teeth were entangled in the tail, be set mp pit
eous howl, which convinced the cow that some
thing must be done.l She gtrlek into lively
saiiop, and the dog followed. He did It involun-
tarily, and told her. The COW evidently thought
the dog was trying to swallow her, and she bel
lowed and few. When she turned o corner sud-
denly It was o momentous second for the dog.
He brought mp with astonishing abruptness on
fence stake and when last seen his pieces were
being gathered-up by some humane friends, pre-
par~.ory to decent burial