American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-01-31
CURRENT ITEMS.

| LUNCH says Ine DeSt SuDStltute LOT Goa
is warm weather.
| OCCIDENT, "the California WONDER" ha.
record of :1631.
When Is voting lady like whale
When she's pouting.
AMERICAN GIRLS fastest mile during
the past season was 2:2O.
THERE is pig in Washington County
Mo-, that has three distinct and perfect
ears.
A ST. Lotus huffman. hest trottel
cost him $3.50. He drew it in LOT
terry.
THERE is but one baby at Kelton, Ore
goH, and the neighbors take turns borrow.
ing it.
A WHITE coon has been caught, near
East Saginaw, Mich, and is considered a
great curiosity.
JONES being told that he looked seedy
and asked what business he was in, re-
piled, "The hard wear business-look al
my wardrobe"
A POUND of cayenne pepper judiciously
ball mighty spicy.
MATCHES in his pocket set fire to an
| Allentown, PA sexton's coat, and scared
him nearly to death.
THERE is nothing like pulpit novelty.
An Indiana clergyman lately delivered
his sermon in rhyme.
Union where gambling is ,esclived. 1t
is proposed to wipe out the blot.
| A sCHooLMAsTER said of himself 81 am
| like hone, l sharpen number of blades,
but ] wear myself out in doing it,"
In twelve years eight hundred acres of
| land have been washed away by the Mis-
| souri, river near Wathena, Kansas.
| SPICER says the difference between the
| HOOsac Tunnel and an oyster is that one
is wholesome and the other some hole.
THREE brothers, in Patten, Me-, have
| married three sisters, whose brothers
have married their brothers-in-law's Sis
| tiers.
BRoKER-How are you Off for money
this morning? Cashier am Off with
what little there was in the bank. Good
| bye.
AN analytical chemist has discovered
! that twc-pound loaf of bread contains
about as mich alcohol as glass of light
beer.
THE life of an honest man is a beauti-
| full poem; and every human being who
reads it feels better, stronger, more hope
| full for it.
A HoNsrEp egg, laid by South Hing
| ham, Mass, hen, was broken feCently, and
found to contain two yolks and another
perfect egg.
ENGLAND is celebrated for its fogs,
France for its frogs, Ireland for its boys,
| Canada for its dogs, Maine for its logs,
and Ohio for its hogs.
THAT water will find its level was re-
| Gently shown at Marion, Ohio, where on
| Christmas Day, Mr. John C. Water was
married to a Miss Caroline Level.
"a MAN named HUT went into a store
| in Waterville, Kansas, and asked for
credit, ard was knocked down with a
weight This is called enforcing the
cash system.
II you have talents, industry will i'm
prove theiini if moderate abilities, indus
| try will supply their dehcietcics. Moth
ing is denied to well directed labor moth
ing is ever to be obtained without it.
THIS bit of sarcasm from the Stage: "As
times are hard, wooden weddings and
other nuptial anniversary celebrations
-ill be very numerous this winter, with a
view to fetletiishing cne's household
goods"
THE velvet and fur combination So
popular this winter in street costumes is
one of the most elegant and stylish intro
duced for niaiiy years. Nothing can be
handsomer or richer than real fur and
real velvet.
MORE than one hundred women are
studying law in the United States, and the
question as to who shall be Chief Justices
may yet agitate the land. But for the
present the fair sex should be content to
bide their time.
Could anything be neater than the old
darkey's reply to a beautiful young lady
whom he offered to lift over the gutter,
and who ipSi Ctp6 rat che too hpayy2
"Lor, missus," said he, ''I's used to lift
ing barrels of stgar."
SECRETARY DELANo notifies territorial
and other officers who leave their posts
without permission, that such conduct
will be considered equivalent to their
resignation, and successors will be APP
pointed to their places.
Welt this was aggravatIngi A happy
Hartford couple had silver wedding,
and among the gifts received was a fine
silver tea set. Alas! they had to give it
up the next day. 1t was left by a mis-
take of the expressman.
UMBRELLAS for the fashionable young
women of the period are of navy blue
form of a cross. They are not ornament
ed in any way with silver or gold, and
for that reason are very genteel and mice
looking"
MIR. JOHN HOLLAND, of Henry, KY,
comes to the front with a mare thirty
three years and nine months old, which
is said to gallop around the pasture, not
perhaps as nimbly, but certainly as gaily,
as she was accustomed to do a quarter of
a century ago.
THE fact that on railroads the western
rail ''creeps" faster than the eastern one,
while the latter wears out fastest, is attribu-
ted to the motion of the earth, throwing
the train towards the east, and pressing
upon the eastern rail more heavily.
SOUTHERN editor thirsting for sub
scribers, has adopted a singular expedient.
Instead of offering as premiums chromOs
and that sort of rubbish, he promises to
name his new baby after the patron who
pays his subscription for the longest time
in advance.
A CEDAR FALLS Uowa) cow walked on
a well (or hole which was started for a
well, and afterward covered with rails
and straw, and fell to the bottom, IA dis
lance OF eighteen feet. She was found on
her back, and subsequently taken out
W til rope and tackle, and found to be all
right.
A NEVADA Judge, after a jury had been
impanneled, and counsel was ready to
proceed, pulled out revolver, and jul
dicially remarked: "If any man goes to
frolicking around in this courtroom dur
ing the trial of this cause, | shall inter
rupt him in his career" The strictest de-
corum prevailed in that courtroom.
DU CHAILLU has found the model wife:
81 remember being in a magnificent coun-
try-seat in the south of Sw eden, owned by