Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-01-15
HunerOus. and HittT.

Humorous. and HittJ. - ;, !.
A PHrLADELPH1A barber has invented
q grease extrac: or, which he says will
be useful "to all who wear clothes.
A BOY in his ninth yesr can never,
with propriety, accuse another Of 9lut.
tony-so long as he's over eight him.
self. a.: 4, @s'
The Boston Globe says: "a mans
nose IS not . nose when it is little
reddish" Neither 10 it, when it IS .
turn up. -. - s&:z
TIE refrigerator car from, San
Francisco to New York has been with
drawn, NJ it failed in its Pacific spur-
pose. :. ..:xaz Il 20 t:se x~;..
PREs1Dzsr KA1x and Dr.. Grove of
the Cincinnati city council, lead re-
form clique in that board which il
known - the CrowecKaye party. ~,
TIM amdavit of . Chicago polleenan
states that Is he called me IN ass, .
simpleton, and N idio&, all Of which /
declare To- be true - saza sso5. sarf
Som people are easily satisfied. A
Kentucky lady recently had her arm
amputated BY two surgeons g in man
ner creditahle to the profession apd
highly satisfactory to tha patient"
A GREAT drinker being at .. table,
they oaes ed / him Grapea @St dessert
Thank. you,p said be, pushing zayay
the plate, !" don't take my vine in
pile" - -a;' ;>7aos'a
A Isc1uR1s recently felegrsphsd TO;
Temperance organization. that .he
would lecture on GA Taste for Naples
and Rome" The teleefapher got il . A
Taste for Apples and Rum" ,a,r
A LITTLE fellow crept away from his
pious mamma 1t 1 book store, and
whispered TO . clerk, 'sBay, havn'tyou
any books g. to sell lli without any, religion
"Box, what's sbseome Of the hole I
saw, in ayour epsuts the: other daya"
Young America, carefully examining
his unmentionables, Its worn out,
sir. " as ~ tstct9@ .@ss4 AZ: Il
"You, yavn,rr said . lady. to- her
hn:bsnd nsb:Dd S.n .sS bs 5sp,isa the the
but one, and when alone 1 become
weary. { ~ce7& = --:5 1870 z,.a
A SCHOOL inspector in Alsace, short
time ago, asked . well-knoWn bright
urchin If he knew the 6avjoHs name.
The boy answered correotlv. IM.Hnw
did he die r. "Tbey killed him"
t.Whof" .s'The Prussians p "a; - :"
FIRST little boy-t' Oh, that egE's
done now TN. sure It's -bsea-in i've
minutes by, the clock. s,sx...uss
Second ditto-"Oh, it amt ready
yet, then, because that clocks s. too
."FEI1oV travellers" :" said : colored
preacher, "ef I had been eaGin't dried
apples for = week, IN: den took to
dIinkin' for . mont, I couldn't feel
more sWelled up dan ] an ;ais pnic1it
with pride and vanity, at seein'' such
full tendance har dis evenin'. -
"TAKE : wing,n gushed a pompous
npstArt, extending his bert arm to .
sensible young lady. at the close Of tho
prayer meeting. .sNot Of . gsnder,' -
che quickly replied, and walked home
with her mOthef.Es &4.s3S * ss--4tE=E1s =
An undecided fellow coarted, Z lady
% years and then married her. She
turned out . perfect virago, but died
in two years after the wedding. Now,
said he, in . self-coneratnlatory tone, .
..see xh.t +; ! II have escaped PED ! BY !. long %
Tn St. .1oai. Chr Christian Advocate i;
has no ear for music, and complains
that 4 church choir T. ,sacEiligsoas
when the line - We are going home to
die no more " is rendered i" Nef going
home 70 D1nah More, to ,Dinah More,
70 Dinah More" r... ~.
THE latest meaning evoked out of
Shakspeare's text comes from Boston:
A member Of . society. Who appeared
rs Emelia, in response 70. sOthallo's-
query Of "Do you think my wife be
honest o. ssHonest!-M-y Lo-r-dl"
HusBAHD-"Why don't you wearhair
and things, and dressea. and look like
other women Z" Wife-s'What! and
have everybody say, What pity that
lsss1lEts (laa~0ety-