The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-08-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

/ SENSE.
Pigrnies are pigmies stiT though perched
on pyramids
As II sometimes rains when the sun
shines, 80 there may be joy il 4 saints
heart when there are tears in his ewes.
Alas the nlcetles Of spruce underm
standing, and the curious nothlngs of use
less speculation, and all the opinions Of
men that make the division of hearts. and
% nothing else, cannot bring Nv ,ane yirup
Of comfort III the day u tribulaM Mnn.-
Taylor.
Every kindly word and feelimRr evewv
COED deed and thought, every nobie wxtion
and lmpslse, is like The arkuaaut dove. ana
''fsnk frorn the tronbl4d -StsIs of ME
curing green olive branch I'd the soul.
parishioners Of clergyman IN
ScotiaA.o., z expressing to him their aver
Sion 20 Lhs use Of manuscript sermons.
urged What gars ye tax up your BIZ pa-
Pers to the pn pit 2 He replied that il was
SeSt' e." llY he could not remember his
Sermon ana must narv 49, r-rn- ty..I
weel minister, then dinna expect that WV
can rememcer them.
My notion Of a wife at FORTY" said
Douglas Jerrold, I" IL that man should be
able to change her, like bank note, for
two twenties.
Il was darling Gweorge" when A bri-
dal couple left Omaha il was " dear
George, at Chicago at Detroit 1t was
" George !" and when they reached Ma
CARA Falls II was " Say, you.
"Id hate to be IN your shoes, said a
Terre Haute woman, as she was quarriing
with a neighbor 4" You couldn't get III
them, sarcastically remarked the neigh
Dor.
will save you thousand pounds, said
an Irishman to an old gentleman, If YOU
don't stand IN your own light How 2
You have daughter, and you intend "a
give her ten thousand pounds a. a marriage
portion do Sir, ! will Ike her
with nine thousand
CoSsoLAToRY When John R, the
farmer, was cautiously carrying home a
tive-week-old pig the young grunter kept
an incessant cry Of weak. weak. You're
weak, said John ID biz noisy burden
keep quate, just keep quatel I'll MAX ye
strong eneuch, gin had ye ance hame, an
at the soor dOok
A clergyman being applied to, in less
than year after his appointment, to put
up stove IN the church, asked how long
his predecessor had been there ana when
answered Twelve years. he said, Well,
you never had tire Id the church during
his time 4 'No, sir, replied thu applicant,
but we had fire in the pulpit then Z
SELF-RESPEcT Cook two fellow-ser-
want who has been after new place )-
3 Well, Liza, viii 1t suit Eliza Not
if | know 1t Why, when ! gut there,
blest if there wasn't the two young ladies
Of the house both ausln III one piano at
the same time Well, thinks tins
his a comm down In the world 80 I
thought | had best say good mOruin n-
Punch.
in Wales, became inordinately thirsty, a.hid
stopped for milk at house by tile road
side. They emptied every basin that was
offered, and still wanted more. The woman
Of the house at length brought an enor-
nous bowl Of milk, and set It down on the
table, saying, One would think gentle
men you had never been Neaned
An itinerant phrenOlOglst stopped al a
rustic farm house, the proprietor Of which
was busily engaged IN threshing. Sir,
said he, am a phrenologlst Would
you like me 10 examine the heads Of your
children | will do % cheap. Wal.
said the farmer, pausing between two
strokes, rather guess they don "a need il.
The old woman combs fm ,r,H a M, tooth
comb OHct rtl
Dear Mada-A, We shall soon be IN etern-
Ity, and then We shall SEE how trihing all
the things of this world are and how ht-
tie il mattered what became W them
Yet now we are as eager over them as If
they We're all-Important When We were
children We used tO be eager iii collecting
bits Of wood, and tile and mud. 70 build
our play houses and If they We're knock
ed down, We we're grieved, even to tears
now We know that tins was All chllds
play. Even So when We reach heaven We
shall see that all these earthly interests
wer but child play too -D De Sales
One of DisraelIs admirers, IA speaking
about HIM 70 John Bright, said You
ought to give him credit for what Ivy has
accomplished, a. he u a self-made man
Il know he Is, retorted Mr. Bright,
n and he adores his maker
The head VI the family is about to t.t
an apple. Mother" Say father, give us
a piece" Daughter Z" %, father. give me
a piece" Son-"O, father, / want \
piece. Niece Won't you please give
me a piece, too Father (dlsgustedD.-
Here, the rest NJ YOU take the apple ana
give me piece.