Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-12-03
EDITING A PAPER,
The Positive style Iu the Local
Department..

lived like that Ohio editor who lifted me
out Of the back end of an omnibus one
night, led me up five pairs of stairs anG
undertook to tell me how was to assist
in running the local department of the
paper. You see" said he, jabbing al
a csckroach with the shears, you want
to be positive in what you say; folks
here won't believe any of your suppose
SOS and allegations. Say what you say
in words that can't be disputed; or, il
they are disputed, send the fellow into
the other room and I'll fix him." He
was a great man for fun; he never
laughed himself, but he had high ap
probation for humor. He was always
wanting me to get off m2thing sharp
on some one, no matter who, and he ran
me 80 much had to quit. For instance
he came down one morning and said:
Now, Charles, get off hit on julius
Caesar" Why, sir the old man died
years ago" No matter, no matter, "
he went on, get off something or I'll
discharge you As $75 a year was an
object to me then, handed in a pretty
big item. That good, that's positive, .
he replied, and in it went. The paper
hadn't been out an hour before dozen
we're crowding in after an explanation.
"Is your name Casar2" asked the old
man Of each in turn. mo" We'll,
then, who running this Caesar business ?
Amt / here to disseminate knowledge
Don't do her?' And he finally threw
another sheet on the points"
Now, Charles, said he again, get OF
lick on George Washington-some-
thing under lively head line. " But
he's been written up" replied. mo
matter-get off something or here's my
note of hand for the balance due you. !"
As his note of hand was rather good
thing to keep, | dug out severe thing
under the head OF Brutal Outrage"
There was a Washngtonian society in
town, and half its members were rush
ing up stairs before the edition was half
off. base wretch, shouted the presi.
dent. Calumniator of genius"
squeaked the old maid secretary. vile
rascal" hissed young man, with his
hair behind his ears Gentlemen and
old maid, began the editor, as he rolled
up his sleeves, why am | here? If any
of you know more about George Wash
ington than | do, why Just take and run
this office" And they had to go away
with their minds in an unsettled state.
Another time, when he had run over
whole volume of ancient history without
finding one to hit, says he Get off
something on me" That's just what |
wanted, and / wrote: We want wood
on subscription to this paper. Some of
our subscribers promised to pay for their
paper in wood more than ten years ago,
and it's about time they brought it in.
We want wood-wood-wood." 1t was
ia July, and there were thirteen loads Of
wood before noon. They got there about
the same time, and thirteen farmers
came up in body. Gentlemen" said |
the old man, after they had stated their
errand, wood is wood; wood is a
noun; is is verb. and wood is
noun again. The objective case governs
the requirements of the adverb, which is
the pussessive of thirteen loads, accord |
ing to chapter seventy.one, rule three"
And every time they went to say any
thing about wood he got that OF at
them, until they all went down in body,
to vampire him at the first
opportunity.
The last thing / have any recollection
of was getting of something" on the
mayor of the town. He went by old
Sykes one evening without nodding, and
had no sooner entered the office than
heard, go for Mugs; give it to him
hot yank him all to pieces, and leave
his shattered remains hanging to the
steeple Of the court house" But he -"
| began, when Sykes came close up to
me, breathing hard, and says he, Young
man, 20 for Mugs ] hate to part with
you, but Smith offers to ill your situation
for a dollar less" So | sat down TO do
up Muggs. Sykes was going away, and
be left me TO my judgment. wrote an
article that thought would please the
old man for positiveness, and it went un
der triple heading. | was just locking
I'D tho paste pot in the burglar proof
safe to keep il FROM tue tals, when |
heard yelling on the streets, and the
office door came in on me. lsaw stars,
comets, spots on the sun, new moons,
and came to" in the next town, when /
sent the following dispatch to the old
man: y II foE can ray your board hill
stay where yon are. The press IS ruined.
The long primer is in Hardy's horse
pond. The maiiing-table, the bank and
be ney Job reck vent over the dam last
evening. Things amt as ihey vac. We
made big bit on Muggs, aud he retalia- I
ed powerfully. have hired out to I
luiet old farmer here, and | think (
,han't pursue the 'get-of business any I
urther" In about two months / got
reply. Here all that was said; Young
lsa, Rigays be positive in your asser-
IionE