The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1874-04-18
Danbury Man Tries to Reach WOman's
Pocket.

Pocket.
The most difficult thing to reach is a
woman's pocket. This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up in the closet
and the man is in a hurry. We think we
are safe in saying that he always is in a
hurry on such an occasion. The owner of
the dress is in the sitting room serenely
engrossed in book. Having told him
that the article he is in quest of is in her
dress pocket in the closet, she has dis
charged her whole duty in the matter. and
can afford to feel serene. He goes at the
task with dim consciousness that he has
been there before, but says nothing. On
opening the closet door and finding. him
self confronted by number of dresses all
turned inside out, and presenting most
formidable front, he hastens back to ask
(Which dress9' and being told the brown
one, and also asked if she had so many
dresses that there need be any great effort
to find the right one, he returns to the
closet with alacrity and soon has his hands
on the brown dress. 1t is inside out like
the rest-a fact he does not notice, how
ever, until he has made several Intellectual
attempts to get his hand into it. Then he
turns it around very carefully and passes
over the pocket several times without
being aware of it. A nervous moving of
his hands, and an appearance of perspira-
ton on his forehead are perceptibe. He
now dives one hand in at the back, and
feeling around, finds place, and proceeds
to explore it. when he discovers that he is
following up the inside of lining. The
nervousness increases, also the perspira-
ton. He witches the dress on the hook,
and suddenly the pocket, white, plump,
and exasperating, comes to view. Then
he signs the relief he feels, and is mentally
grateful he did not use any offensive ex-
pressions. 1t is all right now. There is
the pocket in plain view-not only the
inside but the outside-and all he has to
do is to put his hand right around in the
inside and take out the article. That is
ALL He can't help but smile to think how
near he was to getting mad. Then he
puts his hand around to the other side.
He does not feel the opening. He pushes
little Furthermore he has got it-he
shoves the hand down, and is very much
surprised to see it appear opposite his
knees. He had made mistake. He tries
again; again he feels the entrance and
gldes down it only to appear again as
before. This makes him open his eyes
and straighten his face. He feels of the
outside of the pocket, pinches it curiously
lifts it up. shakes it, and after peering
closely about the roots of it, he says BY
gracious ~ and commences again. He
does it calmly this time, because hurrying
only makes matters worse. He holds up
breadth after breadth, goes over them
carefully, gets his hand first into a lining,
then into the air again, where it always
surprises him, when it appears and finally
into pocket and is about to cry out with
triumph, when he discovers that it is the
pocket of another dress. He is mad now;
the closet air almost STILES him; he is so
nervous he can hardly contain himself. and
the pocket looks at him so exasperatingly
that he cannot help but "plug" it with
his clenched fist, and Immediately does it.
Being somewhat relieved by this perform
ance, he has a chance to look around him,
and sees that he has put his foot through
band box and into the crown of his wife S
bonnet; has broken the brim to his Pan
anna hat, which was hanging in the same
closet, and torn about a yard of bugle
trimming from a new cloak. All this
trouble is due directly to his wife's infatu-
alton in hanging up her dresses inside out,
he Immediately starts after her, and impet-
uously urging her to the closet, excitedly
and almost profanely intimates his doubts
about there being pocket in the Dress
anyway. The cause of the unhappy disas-
ter quietly inserts her hand inside the robe,
and directly brings it forth with the sought
for article in its clasp. He doesn't know
why, but this makes him madden than any
thing e.-Dan6ury Nems.