The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-09-26
NJ. Quad's Experience with n Buck.
eye Editor.

Aweekly contributor of Humorous sketch
es to the Detroit Free Press, under the
nom de plume of an. Quad Che is doubt
less printer gets off the following:
81 don't suppose that another man ever
lived like that Ohio editor, who lifted me
out of the back end of an omnibus one
night, led me up five pairs of stairs and un-
dertook to tell me how / was to assist in
running the local department of the paper.
"You see," said he, jabbing at a cockroach
with the shears, "you want to be positive
in what you say; folks here won't believe
any of your "suppose SOS" and allegations.
Say what you say in words that cant be
disputed or, if they are disputed, send the
fellow into the other room, and I'll fix him.
He was great man for fun; he never
laughed himself but he had high apprecia-
ton of humor He was always wanting
me to get off something sharp on some one,
no matter who, and he run me so much that
/ had to quit. For instance, he came down
one morning and said: "Now, Charles, get
off local hit on julius Caesar" "Why,
sir, the old man died years ago." "No
matter-no matter" he went on, "get off
something, or I'll discharge you" AS sew
enty-fve dollars year was an object to me
then. l handed in a pretty biting item.
"Thats good, that's positive he replied,
and it went in. The paper hadn't been out
an hour before a dozen were crowding in
after an explanation. SIS your name Cm-
sar? asked the old man of each in turn.
"No." "Well, then, whose running this
Caesar business? Amt here to disseminate
knowledge? Don't l do her?' And he f.
nally threw another sheet on to the
points"
10 Io ,.r,,, M
| a lick at George Notwithstanding
written up" / replied.s "No matter-get
off something, or here's my note of hand
for the balance due you" As his note OF
hand was rather good thing to keep, l dug
out severe thing under the head of "Bru.
ta} Outrage There was a Washingtoniar
society in town, and half its members were
rushing up stairs before the edition was hall
off. 'Base wretch" shouted the president
"Calumnator of genius" squeaked the ole
maid secretary. "Vile rascal Kissed q
young man, with his hair behind his ears
"Gentlemen and old maid," began the ed
tor, as he rolled back his sleeves, "why an
here' If any of you know more abou
| George Washington than l do, why jus
take and run this office" And they had t.
go away with their minds in an unsatisie(
state. Another time, when he had run owe
a whole volume of ancient history withou
finding one to hit, says he. SECT off some
thing on mel" That's just what wanted
and | wrote: awe want wood on subscrip
ton to this paper. Some of our subscrib
ers promised to pay for their paper in WOO
more than ten years ago, and its about tim
they brought it in. We want wood-woo
- wood" 1t was in July, and there wer
thirteen loads of wood in front of the offic
before noon. They got There about the sam
time, and thirteen farmers came upin body
Gentlemen" said the old man, after the
had stated their errands, "wood is wood
wood is noun; sis" is verb, and woo
is noun again. The objective case gov
erns the requirements of the adverb whic
is the possessive of thirteen loads, accord
ing to chapter seventy-one, rule three.
And every time they went to say anythin
about wood, he got off that at them, unit
they all went down in a body, threatenin
to vampire him at the first opportunity.
The last thing have any distinct rec
objection of was "getting of something
on the mayor of the town. He went b
old Sykes one evening without noddini
, and 1 had no sooner entered the Office tina
heard, "Go for Mugs; give it to hi
hot; yank him all to pieces, and leave h
! shattered soul hanging to the steeple OF Il
e court house." "But he" began, whe
n Sykes came close up to me, breathing hal
and says he: "Young man, 60 for Mugg
: hate to part with you, but Smith offe
i to fill your situation tor dollar less
u So l sat down to do up Mugs. Syk
o was going away, and he left me to my jud
!. ment. l wrote an article that i thong
u would please the old man for positivenes
y and it went in under triple heading.
Il was just locking up the paste pot in Il
&c burglar.proof safe, to keep it from the raj
. and heard yelling on the streets and d
y office door came in on me. / saw staI
l. COMETS spots on the sun, new moons, al
!. "came to" in the next town, when l sc
tn, following dispatch to the old mau 6
y you can pay your board bill, stay whe
l. you are. The press is ruined, the Lo
,r Primer is in Hardy's horse-pond. II
mailing table, the bank, and that new !
: rack went over the dam, last evenir
Things amt as they was. We made
10 hit on Mugs, and he retaliated powerful
f. l have hired out to quiet old farmer hei
y. and think shan't pursue the "get o
y. business any farther" In about two mont
i'll got reply. Here is all that was sal
a. "Young man, always be positive in va
nceartinns ~