The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1874-12-31

trust aS Oy TOO mucn- Cntnrlft anS
waste are the precursors of peculation
and the mistress who locks everything VI
and then leaves her own keys lyinE
about, can hardly be brought to see tha
it would be much better 10 leave all hel
cupboards open and depend for security
on her knowledge of what is in them
Such housekeepersne never have a hammer
where it may be found to knock in 6
nail they never put by a piece Of
string; they never ken little store Of
wrapping paper for parcels. There are
no neat covers proysatl for the furniture
at night nor clean busters and brushes
for private use. The handles come of
the doors and remain loose for Ks,
and the door-keys are always lost or ntted
in the wrong locks. The cat has easy
ingress to the meat safe through a hole
In the canvass; the mice and the blue
bottles revel in the larder. There is
only one corkscrew for the use of the
family above stairs and down, and it is
always missing when it is wanted on
either story. There is running to and
fro If friend drops in for luncheon, and
the visitor is always kept waiting aquar-
ter of an hour before the lady Of the
house comes down. The kettle is never
boiling for afternoon tea, and the bread
and butter is always cut with knife
redolent of onion. The clock on the
mantlepiece has always run down, or
strikes 1890 when the hands point at 4.
Bradshaw is never to be found, and if
found it would be useless, as no one can
interpret its mysteries. The smell az
cooking pervades the house to its t6p-
most chambers, and appetite is fore
stalled by the odor of roast mutton or
fried behring's. The holes in the table
cloth or the chair-covers are never darned.
The dish covers are always broken The
mustard Is dry in the mustard-pot, and
the coffee is full of grounds. The house
maids buster lies on the drawing-room
hearth-rug, and the ornamental handles
of the fireirons are always loose. There
isnever any water in the bedroom ewers,
and guest who asks to wash his hands
has to put up with damp towel The
tap of the beer barrel never fits, and hot
water Is served up III milk jug. The
bells will not ring, and orders are given
at the table in a stage whisper, and are
often reiterated before they receive any
attention. The husband who brings an
unexpected friend to dine has to supple
ment his indiscreet hospitality with apol-
ogies, and afterwards to pay the penalty
of his rashness by receiving private
lecture. The buttons are always off his
shirts, and the bandkerchiefs in his
drawers bear other peoples names. He
has to make favor of getting his boots
in the morning, and should he be so
unwary as to descend to the lower regions
-, Il
are that he finds the cook experimenting
the toast with one hand, while the other
is plunged into the recesses of a Yelling
ton. The splashes of mud remain on his
coat and trousers until he invests penny
in the good offices ola shoeblack at some
windy corner; his hat is brushed the
wrong way, and bears on lis front the
marks of greasy fingers. He is summon
ed by police because his chimney takes
fire, or because the lid of his coal-hole Is
left unfastened. The servants of such
household are not remarkable for civility,
and can never, by their conciliatorv, man
ners, mitigate the sternness Of the police
man. They take their tone from those whom
they serve, and no unnecessary etfjrts Of
politeness adorn the social usages Of the
street-door.
The mistress of such Il household is
necessarily the most useless person in il.
She can do nothing herself and IS quite
unable to see anything properly done by
her servants. She cannot put up blind.
or fit a chintz cover to a chair Her
orders are contradictory, and her com
plants loud and many. She blames her
domestics for her own neglect, and while
see grumbles at their inefIiciencv, she
cannot herself show them how 10 do
anything. Her dress Is always stained
with the drippings OF her teaeup, and she
has no intermediate state between un.
tidiness and tinery. She puts on her
best clothes for morning walk, and
keeps nothing for her visiting days.
Her piano always wants tuning, and she
never remembers the date of the taX-col-
lector's visits She forgets her gloves or
her cardcase till she has arrived at the
hall door, and when they are brought toe
gloves always want buttons, and there
are no cards in the case. She never
learns the rate OF postage. aui write her
foreign letters after the mail has gone out.
A drive in cab involves figh, about
the fare, and she brushes toe muddy
wheel with her dress in getting out
She expects her servants to DO everything
without instructions, and usually speaks
of them as wretches. While she
exacts o5sequious respect from them, she
talks before them of their shortcomings.
She gives them needless trouble by her
laziness or carelessness, and while she
does nothing for their comfort, expects
them to study hers constantly. She will
thoughtlessly ring them up to the, top of
the house to put on the Goals, which are
in the scuttle by her chair, and will heed
lessly send them three or four errands
when a little forethought on her part
would have made one enough. She
never interests herself in their welfare,
hardly knows their names, never spares
them when they are ill., or thinks OF how
she may save them trouble She pro
vides no wholesome literature for their
leisure reading, and does not inquire
after the proper investment of their little
savings. Their wages are always in
arrear, and she hahitually tempts their
honesty by leaving her purse or her let
| tiers lying about, and yet frequently sus-
poets them without cause. She charges
them with theft and untruthfulness on
the smallest grounds, sand constantly fan
cies they are looking at her through the
keyhole or listening behind the door
She is indignant when they give her
notice, and refuses Them character when
she finds that they cannot compel her to
give them one. She knows nothing of
them after they leave her, and never
concerns herself 70 get them places.
She expects them both'to be up before her
in the morning and also TO sit up late for
Il L 4.
attend her like nurses, rise to her call at
| oil bo,1ro ~ fbo ,v,o-I- c. 10