The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-01-16
Tie NJ n who Became Jackass.
LonG-Eared metam orporsis.

A LonG-Eared Metam orpOrsis.
Almost any reader can point out
among his acquaintances a regular
donkey" but the genuine metamorpho.
sis of man into long-eared animal OF
that kind somewhat resembles tfe ro'
mances we meet with in the "Arablan
Knights" The following narrative OF
such change is rather laughable, and
the adventures may be called comlcal
of the man who was changed into
| jackass.
''Jackass % exclaimed my employer
to me one day, angrily. "Jackass
yes, my mother used to say so, too, but
she didn't like to hear any one else say
so. "Well, 1 wouldn't mind if 1 were
jackass in good earnest, L replied:
surely couldn't be more a beast of bur
den than ana now." Suddenly ! be-
gan to feel something very queer about
my ears. They appeared to be shoot
ing up. They were acquiring the pow
er of motion too. My fingers fell of,
and the palms of my hands seemed
turning into hoofs. My head began to
get long and to terminate in protrud-
ing Jaw. I felt something growing out
behind, which began to swing and slash
in a variety of evolutions. was in very
truth q iackass. ran rather helplessly
down the street, in the hope that some
one would claim me. At length was
taken, out of mere pity I suppose, by
a man, who put me in a stable with his
pig and his COW.
In the morning my master came to
see me, I was so delighted at the pros
pect of human sympathy, that com
menced to kick and rear, and tried to
speak, but found, alas l could only
BRAY. ''What the devils got into the
crathurr' exclaimed my master, aston
ished. Remembering that such extra
ordinary demonstrations might be look
ed upon as viciousness, restrained my
feelings. '1sn't it sathisfoid yez are
wild yer quarthers ?" inquired my mas
ter, stopping over, a hand on either
knee. and lookinn up into my face.
bowed my head three times in assent,
wagging my ears, and endeavoring to
give him my right hoof. 'Och its q
moighty intelligent baist, it is !" ex-
claimed my master, in astonishment.
In short, on further acquaintance, he
concluded to turn Snowman. So, with
halter about my neck, l was led forth,
and commenced my professional life as
a stroller.
used to tell the time of day by lift
ing my right foot for the hours, and my
left for the minutes. Would pick out
the prettiest girl in the crowd with a
profound reverence play at cards, etc.
We rose rapidly to distinction, my mas
ter and I, and in short, l ac-
quired a fortune for my master.
One cay while performing at a side
show, had the mirfortune, thought
it then, to fall in love with a very
beautiful young lady. was a little
staggered at first, when l remembered
that 1 was only an ass but rejecting
on the number of fair damsels already
won by donkeys, / took courage. My
master and had come to so thorough
an understanding of one another with
out the aid of language, that l soon
succeed in communicating to him the
state of my feelings, making known at
the same time the object of my affections.
Either approaching the joke himself,
or looking for some personal benett, he
led me to my adored one s father, who
burst into such loud haw-haw, on hear
ing the statement, that hung my head
and dropped my ears in verlest mortlti-
cation. The young lady herself was
Mortified at the suggestion, and l, like
the most ardent admirers, viewed her
objections as very unreasonable. After
much difficulty I succeeded IN giving
my master to understand that it would
be necessary for him to pour over my
entire body the contents of can OF
kerosene. then took match and,
holding it between my teeth, used all my
eloquence to persuade the fair lady to
set me ablaze. In the attempt / should
have unquestionably tailed had not,
in my ardor, approached SO near her
beautiful new suit as to completely dis
figure it with the oil. Angered, enraged,
she seized the taper, exclaiming
Dirty beast You shall burn, and
set me a-fire. Then seeing me writh-
ing in torment, she buried her face in
her hands. She looked up at the sound
of her name. "Linda, my beloved,
said /, and she saw at her feet no lon
ger a iackass, but the form of a hand
some youth, who clasped his hands, and
exclaimed in rapture: "Fair maid,
accept the lifelong devotion of the
captive you have freed" cam ! dream
ing?" replied the maiden "where is
the jackass ?" "Here, at your feet, " |
answered. In short, ! prevailed. The
father was won over without difficulty,
as half the profits of my exhibition had
been placed to my credit, and had
large bank account. My former master
regretted nay loss, yet could not but re-
ioice at my good fortune, for his wealth
was also ample, and we 70 med plan
to exhibit me as "the man who had
been a jackass," but finally decided
upon "the jackass who became man"
/ have now lived very happily with
my wife for five years. My old master,
through his wealth, has become a dis
tinguished politician. I have but one
source of regret, and that is, that my
ears, not being thoroughly saturated
with the oil, have retained too much of
their original shape and proportions.
NY friends still accuse me of being
at times, and say that
my wife, in particular, takes advantage
of it but she will be the special object
of my eternal devotion for designing to
marry a jackass. ~ Y. MurcuTy.