The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-06-19

USsU5PECrED GENIUsEs AMONG Us-sPEcIMEl
LETTERS TO HIGH OFFICIALS.

LETTERS TO HIGH OFFICIALS.
INrs. Ames' .'Ten Years in washlngton."l
With all its comprehensive cares,
one side of the commissioners official
life tends to jollity, good digestion and
long life. In no other position in the
world, probably, could man discover
how many crazy people there are out
side of the lunatic asylum. The born
Inventor is always dreamer. For the
sake Of his darling thought he is willing
to sacrifice himself, his wife and his
children, everything but the machine"
growing in his brain and quickening
under his eager hand. How often they
fail. How often the precious thought
developed into form Is only mistake
q failure.
Sometimes this Is sad-quite as often
IL is funny. The procession which
started, far back in the ages, with its
machine of Perpetual Notion" long
ago reached the doors of the American
patent-office. The persons found in that
procession are sometimes astonishing.
A doctor OF divinity, well-known at the
capital, and not suspected OF studying
any machinery but that OF the moral
law, appeared one day In the Office OF
the commissioner.
81 know Eve got it, he said.
"What, sir ?n
Perpetual motion, sir. Look ~ and
he sat down machine. "If the floor
were not in the way, il the earth were
not In the way, my weight would never
stop, and my machine would go on for
ever. i know this is original with me
that it never dawned before upon any
human mind"
So enthusiastic was the doctor, it was
with difficulty he could be restrained
from depOsiting his ten dollars and leav-
ing his experiment TO be patented. The
commissioner quietly sent to the library
for book-a history OF attempts to Gre
ate perpetual motion. Opening at a
certain page, he pointed out to the as
tonished would-be inventor where his
own machine had been attempted and
failed one hundred years ago. The rev.
erend doctor took the book home, read,
disgusted and meditated thereon-to
bring it back and lay it down before the
commissioner, in silence. No one has
ever heard him speak of perpetual mo-
tion since.
1t would take a large volume to re-
cord all the preposterous letters and in
ventions received at this Office. A very
short time since a man sent a letter to
the patent bureau describing a new pro-
cess of embalming which he had origi-
mated. It was accompanied by dead
baby-"the modep"-which he requested
should be placed in one of the glass
cases in the exhibition room. He con-
sidered himself deeply injured when his
request was refused.
The President of the United States re-
ceives many letters which are by him
transmitted to the bureau OF patents
append verbatim copies Gncluding
orthography) Of three which represent
many thousands more Of equal intelli-
gence received at this department Of the
Government
August, 81, 1872.
Mr.. Z. 5. GRANT Sir its is with pleas
ure | take this opportunity OF writing
10 You / am well at Present Hoping
these few lines will find you ENJOYING
Good health And prosperity am doing
all can for you in this locality and /
hope and expect you will be our next
President OF the United States l would
like TO have an Office of Siviliseing the
Indians What Salary will you give me
per Annum please Write to me and let
me know in fact am in need of a little
money at present Will you please send
me coo or 1000 dolors to-Sumth-
ing Aught to be done for the poor In
dian And ! beleave that can sivelize
them. II you will give me $50 or 200
- --SAiNA Will AlOO-
March l3 1873
HON SIR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA | announce to you
that am lnventing Perpetual Motion /
nave once had my patents stolen or
sho1id mad the machine in running or
der before this and / have altered NV
plan so that IL carrys and wheel and
when constructed on large plan it will
move machinery. And being on a new
and different from all others and l am
sure OF success which hope to place be-
fore the world soon. Though in conse-
quence of poor health, and not having
the means to work with IL, II will take
some months longer to accomplish it.
| might write you the plan, but am
not sure you will receive this. And
now ] wish TO ask a few questions
which hope you will answer by writ
ing as soon as you receive this,
lst has there been a patent granted
OF applied for on perpetual motion
ma has the Government bounty Of
!ered TO the inventor
50 when the machine is i'm perfect
Iun1hlng order and Shure that IL will 20
Mlthout stopping will Won and a man
rom the Patent Ofiee come on and
graht me patent and fetch me n hornt,,
II there is one. .
4Ih Is there eny wav that 7 oo,, -.
lime to get the machine co,,,,Sa, IAN nave ave
Patent TIME 10 apply Tor q
Please write soon and address