Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-05-07
BARTON'S BABY.
BY FRANK II. CONVERSE.


ROBERT ARCHER, ESQ, as he was wont
10 sign himself, was a bachelor OF the
most confirmed stamp. ltwas whispered
that years before, when he was handsome
Bob Archer" a young lady had Tilted
him, but as most middle-aged men can re-
call some passage in their lives IN which
a Ike event may have taken place this
should hardly be admitted as an excuse
for such disagreeable cynicism as charac-
terized the life and sayings of Mr.. Archer.
He always stoutlv denied having been
refused" but once, i'll moment OF un-
guarded confidence, he acknowledged TO
Widger-the only man who had ever been
known to establish anything approaching
an intimacy with him-that he did once
ask a young lady if she would marry
him; " and said Mr.. Archer, with rue
full smile, "she said she'd rather be eX-
cused-and now" he added with look
of selfcongratulation, as one who through
his own long sightedness had escaped
some terrible danger, I'm mighty glad
| excused herr
So the crusty old bachelor had arrived
at the age of forty years, at which stand
point we find him, rather good-looking
man, with $4,000, "A splendid constitu-
DOn, anu Hdtltu lol phplSo liioe
amounted to positive mania.
Bob Archer-as we who have known
him all his DAYS shall call him-boarded
at Mrs. Green's, on Charlton street, and
next door lived Mr.. and Mrs Barton, who
were Joint owners and sole proprietors OF
a strong-lunged and generally unpleasant
infant about a year old.
1t is a singular fact, and one worthy of
0D,;oa 40 aonb cppppp1 inu generation OF
babies that come wailing into the world
are several shades better than their pre-
decessors.
And when we reflect upon the number
of people who claim to own the best
child that ever was" and who firmly as
sert that their baby "sedom or never
cries. we are prone to wonder why it is
that this age should be so much in advance
of the preceding one, and why every
body's baby should be so superior to
eyerybody's else baby
The Barton baby, of course, IN the eyes
and arms of its proper parents, was one OF
these prodigies of fearless and noiseless
infancy. "Run in and see Mary and the
baby" was the oft-repeated invitation OF
Barton. THAT baby, sir, is really the
best child" and then Barton would me-
ander on in most exasperatlng way,
while Archer would mentally wish his
visitors anything but blessings as he lis
tened to the encomiums on infancy so
fondly INDUCED in by the happy parents.
The first time that this cordial invita-
ton had been given Archer had replied,
with far more trankness than politeness,
that he wasn't any hand for ladies socie--
ty, and as for babies" here he muttered
something under his breath eulogistic OF
King Herod's decree, which, fortunately,
was unheard by Barton.
The bewildered stare with which that
latter gentleman had favored him, at such
declaration of heresy in regard to fe
male society, caused Bob Archer to some.
what modify his ungracious answer, ana
TO add vaguely that some time" hewould
see about it,
Mrs. Barton, who was pretty, blue
eyed little woman, had brother board
ing with her aged fifteen, who, / grieye tc
state, was q very naughty boy, and at me
Heverton Academy, which he attended
his exploits were a source of continued
annoyance to the teachers and OF mingled
wonder and admiration to his school
mates And yet he was one of the best
hearted boys in the world only 70. hi
misChievous element that seemed par
OF his nature. he was always duly sorry
for his transgressions, and his fits OF peni
tence have been known to last full hour
But between Mr.. Archer and Charlie