Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-04-18
SPRINGER'S CAT.
A Humorous Sketch.

Mr.. Jos. Springer is a peaceable
married man who lives on Detroit St.,
Cleveland, Ohio. He has in his en-
ploy a maid servant who has a young
man that not only calls regularly, but
often irregularly. The maid servants
beau is possessed of an appetite that
requires frequent satisfying, and dur
ing his visit to the Springer mansion,
pies, dough-nuts, cheese and cookies,
cold meats, preserves and other nutri-
tious and palatable articles disappear
ed like dew before the morning sun, or
hot griddle cakes before a hired
man.
Since the panic has demoralized men
and things Springer has been trying to
economic in various directions; and,
among other leaks that he sought to
stop, was that of feeding his hired
girls beau. Springer even went so far
as to tell his handmade that she could
only receive visits from her lover on
Wednesday and Saturday nights, as the
expense of fires, lights and provisions,
five nights out of seven was too much.
The maiden of all work pouted. burn
ed the toast and served dishwater
coffee for several mornings, but finally
seemed to accept the situation, and re-
sumed her wonted cheerfulness.
Such was the state of affairs up to
last Friday night, when it appears
"Sarah's young man, unable to stand
the pangs of hunger or love until Sat
urday night, raped at the kitchen
door of Springer's house, and was ad-
mitted. About IL o'clock P. N, the
handmade, in obedience to a hint from
her admirer, took the lamp in hand
and proceeded down the cellar in search
of something for him to eat. Though
she used every recautiOn otto awaken
the Springer family, asleep up stairs /;
yet as she opened the cellar door, a
strange cat bounded into the room I'M
beknown to her, and a moment later
emitted one of those sad and melan-
choly bowls that cats are wont to give
when concealed in a strange room.
Mrs. Springer heard the cat yell,
and after digging at Springer's shins
with her toe nails until he was awake,
she said: Go down stairs, Mr.
Springer, and let that cat out of the
house" Springer hated the job, but
was forced to comply, and descending
the stairs in his night shirt and bare
feet found himself In the dining room,
where all was dark as pitch. The
maid servants beau had heard Spring
er descending the stairs and fearing
that if he were found there it might
make trouble in the family, began to
feel his way toward the back door.
la doing so, however, he tripped
over the chair his sweetheart had been
occupying, and fell headlong into a
clothes horse full of garments that
were drying by the kitchen stove. The
clothes horse struck the cat in its fall,
and with another howl of misery, that
animal began to cavort around the
room, scale the walls and climb the
table, seeking an exit. Great Moses
what ails that cat?" said Springer as
he entered the kitchen, only to fall
. over the unfortunate lover who was
tryingto get untangied from the clothes
horse and clothing.
Burglars murder" yelled Springer.
as he clutched the supposed thief be-
meath him, who in his struggles to GET
away, upset the table full of breakfast
dishes.
The handmaiden hearing the muss,
came rushing up stairs so fast that the
lamp was extinguished, and arrived IN
the kitchen just in time to get kicked
In the pit of the stomach by one OF
the struggling men on the floor, and
dropping the lamp and plate of dough
nuts she had in her hands, she, too
doubled up with shrek of pain and
fell on the floor in a hysterical fit.
Mrs. Springer, who was only halt
awake. heard her husband yell murder
and bounding out of bed, came sliding
down stairs in a sitting posture, and at
she entered the kitchen, from whence
came sounds of deadly strife, the cat
who had partially caused the trouble
bOlted through window, and before
Mrs. S. could collect her senses, the
hired girls beau had succeeded in get,
ting out of Springer's grasp and fol.
lowed the cat through the same
aperture.
The handmaiden, hearing her lover
escape, arose, procured light, when
Springer ceased pounding the armfuI
of clothing he thought was the bur.
glar. and Il general council was held tC
discuss war matters. Result: Sprin-
ger is called fool and idiot by Mrs
5. and the girl for thinking there was
a burglar in the house; the broken
lamp, spilled doughnuts and fractured
window sash are charged up to the
cat, while Mrs. S, who had not fully
recovered from her trip down stairs
says the next time she wants cal
put out of the house she will do il
herself A man don't know how tC
do anything anyhow, nor never did.