The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-07-03
The Noted Female Doctor Pockets his 5000

And says he will come again---for Considera
ton
Thursday evening THE ARGUS reporter
assembled himself once more with the pride
and hope of, Proud Moline for the pur-
pose of correctly reporting the third and
last temperance meeting held under the
bloviating Dr. Ross, noted specialist or
female doctor; who has induced the limo
cents to organize stock company to pros
cute rum sellers, and hire lecturers for a
small consideration. The meeting was
held in the new Congregational church, the
finest edifce of the kind in the place, and
was amply sufficient to hold all who were
present, besides the eminent female doc
tor, who acted as bellows blower for the
occasion, and who is old Boreas himself
when on his favorlte theme, the women
The good little David of the Union was on
hand with his little pencil to supersede the
regular Moline editor, and our reporter adj
vised him not to be seenin his company,as it
might hurt Interpolation among the saints.
Good little David continued to linger until
short necked, red whiskered saint enter
ed and assembled towards the gallery.
When about half way up the stairs he
turned, obstructing the passage OF several
ladies, he pointed the finger Of holy hor-
rOr towards InE ARGUS reporter, ana, III
tones like the wall Of dying calf, said,
there is the author Of those ARGUS arti-
cles," With clenched fists and tears in his
eyes he turned and assembled toward hea-
ven. Good little David could stand no
more and he vanished in the rear of large
female, and for four long hours brayely sat
under the horns of the altar, beneath the
dripping eloquence Of the noted female
doctor. Our reporter hung about the YES
thule waiting for the usher, who had prom
ised to give him seat, but no usher came.
At last IKE ARGUS reporter, in fear and
trembling, entered the sanctuary and took
a back seat with eolored gentleman, and
prepared to swallow large draughts of
windy eloquence.
DIR. Ross is large man, physically, and
mentally in his own estimation, (if you
take bis word for it, He commenced by
telling what he had lectured about on the
two previous evenings, and said his object
this time would be ''to draw deductions
from premises, whose premises he
didn't state said he would take as sub
iect woman, her influence, socially and
morally" As a female doctor, this is to be
considered the final GROWING effort Of the
series, and we, therefore, in order to cor
rectly report the speaker, publish our notes
in full, as taken on the spot;
Told some nice stories about women and
babies, and requested the audience
not to class thom as nursery rhymes.
His chief object in these was to
draw deductions from premises.
Told some hanging stories to scare the
women, and then told baby story to please
them, This was to draw deduction from
premises. These premises were woman
! is connected with man the deduction
was woman is socially and morally use
! full Got off considerable more baby talk,
and drew his deduction from premises, SO
he said Talked a long time about wine,
mixed in more baby talk and a nice little
story about pouring out wine, and again
told the audience he had drawn some
more deduction from some more premis-
es' Went through all the dictionaries for
adiectives that would rhyme with recrcant
to express his emotions, when he remem-
bered the picket guard. On this roint his
eloquence knew no bounds 1t fairly rack
ed his manly form to such degree as to
nearly empty the galleries. In piteous
tones he asked the audience for relief, im.
mediate financial relief for the ladies be-
fore an assessment could be made. lie
then gave the Rev. Collins a chance to beg
little, aud he very unfortunately let it out
that he had hired the speaker AMI he want
| ed Just 500 10 pay MN.
| After palavering little, he finally de-
manded dollar from each as the price Of
the lecture The Rev Collins then went from
seat to seat and said, Come, let us have a
dollar Hand out your dollar Come
down. &c. During this process the speak
or devoted his time to The ARGUS and the
editor of Tue ARGCs. Hoped the report
er was present Some one sang out He's
gone home" The noted female Doctor
then sang out, Then he's gone straight to
his Satanic Majesty" He said some other
nice things and advised everybody to read
The ARGUS. The Rev. gentleman then
announced that be had succeeded in .
squeezing the thirty dollars out. Let it
be heralded from the plowShops, from the
bluffs and beer shops that Moline has act
ually paid $50, and none of it was Geo.
Ninton's money either As soon as the
noted female Doctor caught sight of the
$50 be promised to come again and come
often. Said he could make more money i
than $50 in his old business, if he had not ,
given it up
Rev. Collins then read the subscription ,
papers AMI by Avs which will be found !
below, acku5wleiged;fthe subscriptions ]
we're legally spurious but the owners Of the
names would be given a chance to sign "
their Own names and amounts. With the Il