The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-08-20
VOLUME 26-NUMBER As.
Catching Tartar.

There were four Of them, and
I they were young blOOds. You
have seen young blood. He is
the son OF mis- father, and his father
IS rich. be Is called = young blood
/ because he bieedS the old man. The
young blood tolls MT, neither does he
spin-but his head spins once in a
while. Well there were four OF them,
1t was Sunday night. They had
been out TO RInkle's and were coming
home, on the ST. Charles rock road.
They sat IN a twO-seated buggy,
drawn by a dAshing span of bays.
Presently they came to tue large open
common at the intersection Of the
rock road and Kings highway.
Here an episode occurred. You
have all seen an episode.
It's something sudden.
And 50 unexpected.
lt seizes you with amazsment.
Transfixes you with We. la this in
stance the episode smashed your
nose.
A cOuntryman was driving home
in lowly truck-wagOa drawn by an
aged and methOdiczl gray horse. The
young bloods came dAsninS up with
their prancing bays. The young
blOOds were beery.
But the cOuntryman had about two
drinks Of whisky in him and hence
had the advantage.
A gill of whisky contains the same
amount Of fight as 3 gallon OF beer,
and then it is so much handler and
less cumbersome.
The rros1nur hf1~N. A.
cOuntrymsn hOilOred whoa The Y.
b. asked the C. IL he could tell them
where they were going.
The prOfane C. told them ''tO he'll"
Then one OF the y. b. said you're
blank liar"
AT this the cOuntryman laid down
his lines, aud got out of his truck
wagon right into the middle Of the
road, and made a speech as follows;
You rOOsters has lIL on the wrong
fence. Just one of you stay in the
wagon and hold the horses and the
other three git right out here. I ken
lay all the dust between here and
town with ye. Oh! Pm the feller
that can keep the flies of. Pm bet
ter than any muskeeter bar. Just
one OF you hold them hOrses-my old
mare'll stand without hltcbin'-and
the balance jist waltz to Joseph right
here now. Come ON ! KIL out ~
And the irate eOuntrymsn announced
his firm belief in the canine parent
age Of the young bloods. Then he
danced and pranced up and down the
road and kicked at the horses ears
aud gyrated his long arms and threw
his old slouch hat high up in the air.
"Oh, Pm q catamOunt, L am. / like
to be stopped in the middle of the
road, 1 do. Pm q 4-year-Oid buR
pawin' up big ciUJS right out of the
ground, | au. Pm q whole menagerie
of royal Bengal tigers, aud cage full
of grizzly bears. I've fiC ia the ring,
l have. Git out here Git out, /
say, and I'll show you whar you're
gOin'p
Then three OF the young blOOds
pulled off their coats All accepted the
pressing Invitation. The other sat in
in the buggy and held the horses
He WAS the lucky one. He
could go to see his girl the
next night, IL ne wanted TO,
and not have to tell her that he had
been out to the base ball match and
got hit with the ball. The best place
in that vicinity WAS in the buggy,
the horses.
Well, the three bounded out Then
the cOuntryman set those long arms
going, and the three Immediately
imagined that the hot spell had
brought on y torn ado, accompanied
by an earthquake and enIivened by
rapid strokes of lightning.
That cOuntryman seemed 10 have
about fifteen fists.
"Ill tell you whAr you're going" he
yelled as the first OF the three tried
TO climb oyer the fence on his east
ear.
"Thar's whare you're goingI" he
shrieked, as the second OF the three
executed a back sOmersault in the
ditch.
"An' this is the way for you to
travel % he yslisds a. tho llst Of the |
three tried to balance himself on his |
nose in the middle OF the road.
he started for the lucky fellow who
gnd gSt % 6G out taf6ii 81 t6fiIis h0lfjng the horse,
Then he made another speaeh, as
follOWes: "Oh Pm an earthquake, 1 |
aiu. III fOlCduO iiShI AiOh buC
bowels OF the earth. Give me some |
more nuts to crack Give me room
Give me some more raw meat |
10 chaw upp
The three slid off behind the fence, |
down to where No. sat holding the |
horses, and then slid softly into that
buggy, and the buggy slid quietly |
into town, and then the three |
slid furtively into q drug store. |
They had been out tO see the base
ball match and got hit with the ball.
They knew where they were going
during the balance Of that trip At
all events they did not inquirs Of any
more eOuntrymen, quietly driving
home in their truck wagons. st.
Louis Republican.