Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-12-09
Odds and Ends.

OYSTERS are having I'd time of it.
A WEATHER report-A clap of thun-
der.
A CONFECTIONERY advertiser ''paroxis-
NAL kisses"
MARRIAGE is often the end of mans
troubles-but which end2
HE fourth of a mana quarter
master.
A SCAR nobly got is a good livery of
honor.
BORED, yet happy-A girl with her
first pair Of earrings. l-
ALWAYS whispering in compsny-for-
est leaves.
RETIRING early at night will surely
shorten mans days.
WHEN Noah made the ark fast with
cable tow, there was a tied in the affairs
of men taken at the food.
{" A SPLENDID ear, but q very poor
voice" the organ grinder said to the
donkey.
IT is a little strange that the most stu
pid help comes from an intelligence
Office.
n 0OISfINOh VI UuS IlOUIo HULL
dred,' named William Delaney, works
in Portland, Me.
Was William Penn s pocket handler
chief the original pen-wiper? Who
nose?
YOUNG men are often 80 improvident
that they can keep nothing but late
hours.
A DAUGHTER of ex-President Tyler
figures as public reader, and one of
his sons is Methodist preacher. Z
Mrs. A. W. RANDALL, widow of the
late Postmaster General, has made, her
first appearance as q public reader. it is
said with success.
The Arab chiefs of Algeria who cher
ish quite a rabid devotion to Louis Ma
poleon's memory, have subscribed 300
OO8 francs for jeweled decoration to
be placed over his tomb. r
TEE death is announced of the Gene
raj Marquis deLaplace, son of the great
astronomer, at the age of 49, He be-
gan his military career under the first
French Empire. ..,-.
EVEN clergymen are not proof against
it, One of them knew the right card,
and California monte sharp put $3.50
in his pocket therefor. sar,.-7e
CARL1sr treasury notes. payable
three months after the entry of Don
Carlos into Madrid, are offered in Lon
don at fifty per cent, but are not
bought.
GLADSTONE has added to his 9th er
accomplishments that of telling trees
I'll no Of L
! often be seen hard at work, finding con-
ISOLATION III the axe.
THE discovery has just been made
that Orpheus was left-handed They
have dug up at Pompeii lfe-size statue
of the god, which represents him play
ing a nine stringed Tyre with the left
hand
A SENSATION novelist speaks of a
g wife of three years standing" It is
replied that man who keeps his wife
standing three years must be brute
But she used to keep him dancing at
tendance on her for ever SO long.
SOME enterprising autumn wasps
started nest over night IN the trousers
of boarder In st. Panl Hotel, and
when the gentleman thrust his leg
through next morning, the whole town
wasn't large enough to hold him.
/ WHEN a man nearly breaks his neck
trying to get out of the way of Light
ming bug" supposing it TO be the head
light of locomotive, it is time for him
to sign the pledge.
A COUPLE of fellows who were pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whiskey.
got into the gutter, After houndering
for some time, one of them said: ''Let's
get to another house this hotel leaks.
One reason why female telegraph
operators are not more numerous, is be-
cause if one of them wished to go to
ball she'd get up and go, even if the
+! Presidents Message was coming over
the wires Detroit Free Press.
M. D. CONWAY writes from London
that :" Joaquin Miller has had his abund-
ant hair cropped, and in various re-
spects looks SO anglicised that 1 fear
he may lose some Of his admirers. 1t
/ is the supposed Mohawk element in
Joaquin that the English admire pas
sionately, and, if he ever gets tanned
down, his publishers on this side of the
water Will, fear, send fewer checks.
AS two members of the darkey confer
ence were passing down Pennsylvania
avenue in Washington recently, when
one trod on the indigestible portion of
gear, and as his number elevens went
up the rest of his being was correspond
ingly lowered. ''Ki-yah, Brudder Jones,
is you fallen from grace2" chuckled his
companion. 'Not prezacly, deacon;
Use gettin' on de ragged edge of dis
pear -
Mrs. JULIA A. PERKINS, Of Cincinna-
ii, the child murderess and would-be
suicide, has been SO far restored to rea-
son that she has brought suit against
her husband for alimony. 1t seems
that upon his compulsory retlrement
from the firm with which he was con-
raotal ho Sh2ra OF The