South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1874-02-06
WIT AND IIUMOR.


SAVED HE wHIPPNG-A little urchin seven
or eight years old, in school where a Miss
Blodgett was teacher composed the following
and wrote il on his slate at prayer time, TO the
great amusement of the boys -
IA little mouse ran up the stairs
To hear Miss Blodget say her prayers"
The teacher discovered the rhyme, and called
out the culprt. For punishment she gave him
his choice TO make another rhyme in FIVE min
utes or be whipped. So, after thinking, scratch
ing his head till bis time was nearly out, and
the teacher was lifting the cane in a threatening
manner, at the last moment he exclaimed:
''Bere stand before Miss Blodgett;
She's going TO strike and / N going to dodge It,"
Two little girls were comparing progress in
the study of their catechisms-"Ive got 10 ORR
ginsl sin,h said one chow far have you got p
'Mel why, I'm away beyond redemption, - said
the other at which her mother. who happened
TO hear the conversation, thought she had gone
quite far enough.
The Utica Herald says two old ladies troub-
led conductor on the Central road, one protest
ing that she should die if the window was open,
""N NAN SNbSi P'S'SSbAHB oohAhSt ohuNbluB ~
when an experienced traveller advised the con-
ductor to settle the matter in this way "Open
the window aud kill one then close il and kill
the other, and we shall have peace"
Why are young ladies kissing each other
Ike the Golden Rule? Because they are doing
unto each other as they would that men should
do unto them.
A HOTEL ScESE.-A very amusing incident
occurred yesterday morning at the Elliot House
Master Walter S. Morton, son of Senator Morton,
arrived early from the train. lie was coming
from Indianapolis, where he had been at school.
and was fastening to greet his mother with a
morning salutatiOn. His knock at the Ebbitt
House produced the following scene within the
apartment once occupied by the Senator, and
from which he had lately removed.
Knock Knock
Sleepy husband 10 his young wife my dear,
the man who lights the fire wants to get in"
The lady hastily rises, pulls the bolt, and rush
es back into the bedroom and the bed clothes
Another moment and the parlor door bursts O.
pen and in rushes yonng man, eager with o.
pen arms. He pursues the lady into the bed
room and to the bedside She utters little cry
OF surprise and covers her head with the bed
clothes just as the ardent stranger bends over
to embrace her.
HusbaDd startled by the cry, turns ,over,
yawns, and then-sees the young man gazing
over the bed in the dim light of the early morn
ing. Alarm, surprise and doubt arc depicted on
his countenance as he CALCULATES, "Wh-wh-at',
the matter W-wh-at's up? Wh-who are
you, sir 2"
Young man realizes his situation and siam.
mers, "I-l-l must have made a mistake. l.
thought this was my fathers room. beg
your pardon" Dust here the lady sees tn,
--PoiEt and discloses beautiful young face ant
breaks out into hearty and forgivine laugh.
OIL thought you were my mother - II,
retres preeipitately, in bushes and confusion
to inquire the way to his fathers room
The lady, who has learned how 10 enjoy {
good joke in California, does not fail to appre
ciste one in Washington; but the husband ma,
be little jealous on account of that tnreateninc
Kiss, which startled his sleepy eyes, and may b,
on the watch hereafter fc- or nan who build.
the res WaShingto -.
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