Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-06-03
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

A POsER-An artists model.
A CLINCHER-A pair of forceps.
A sTICKER-A bottle of mucilage.
LYRICHAUL "A p1'ina0 do,an0's salary.
CALIFORNIA has state tree planter.
BALTIMORE is to have a German
theatre.
DAME NATURES spring suit-A
bloomer.
A "sPEcK" Of war-Old Greenbax's
fortune
A I1FEBoAr propelled by steam is the
latest invention.
SOME parts of Tennessee have the
caterpillar plague again.
ENGLAND mourns the possession of
! {, 453, 684 unmarried women.
| CREMATION by sun process is to be
the name for sunstroke, this summer.
LAWS, like sausages, would fail to
inspire respect if all people knew how
they were made.
GA STITCH in time saves nine. "A
first impression Of needle upon a rent
obviateth nine-fold introduction.
The nurse presenting two little stran-
gers (twins) to afatherfor the first time,
:" Is it, said he, blushing, " to make
choice, madam %
WHY do you use paint ?" asked vio-
inist of his daughter. " For the same
reason that you use resin, papa"
elbows that % "Why, to help me
draw my beau
ACCORDING to the Russian papers, a
church is to be erected near to the
Sitny Market in Old st. Petersburg, as
memorial of the marriage of the
Grand Duchess Marie Alexandrovna
It is said that more than sufficient
money has already been subscribed.
A SUNDAY-sCHooL teacher, DESTROYS
of waking the dormant powers of
scholar, asked the question, "What
are we taught by the historic incident
of Jacob wrestling with the angel ?''
The cautious reply came "Dunno,
'zactly, s'pose twas to tell us that we
mustn't rastle."
Miss GRACE: "Why, cook, I declare!
here comes the long-lost tortoise Uncle
Philip gave us last year And out Of
the coal cellar, of all places in the
world p ''Lor', Miss Grace, is that
the tortoise? Why, I've been a usin'
of m all through the winter to break
the Goals with p
AN Indianapolis jeweler has $4,000
diamond locket, which attracts great
attention there, first, because it is
beautiful thing, and, secondly, because
of course-it once belonged to the
ex-Queen Isabella of Spain. The jew
eler who hasn't set of expensive jew
elry that belonged to Eugene or Isa-
bella is sadly wanting in enterprise.
The profits of Fall River cotton mills
indicate that the past year has not been
one of universal depression. Stock
holders have realized in twelve months
more than the original capital invested,
and banks doing business for the man.
ufacturers are paying Is and so per
cent. dividends. Similar prosperity is
reported in Providence, Pawtucket and
other manufacturing centres.
FRENCH confectioners are constantly
bringing forward marvels in the Gull
nary line. A sausage seller of the
Boulevard de Strasbourg was recently
arrested for preparing truf1ed pigs
feet with trufies of black merrino, and
a few DAYS later confectioner came to
grief for selling violet sugar plums
made of bits of purple barege encrusted
with crystallized sugar. Fancy getting
A CURIOUS fact in regard to immigra-
ton is that many who come to the
United States and Canada are from
districts in the British Isles almost as
thinly populated as Dakota Or southern
Florida. About $50 immigrants from
Kincardineshire, Scotland, recently ar
rived at Halifax, bound for new set
Element. Yet one may travel themoors
of Kincardine for miles without seeing
a house, and the land is but poorly Gull
tivated.
AGRAR1AN outrages have not ceased
in Ireland A man named Hogan, at
Nenage, who had taken possession of
his brothers land under mortgage,
was prevented from tilling it by fam
lily mob armed with shovels and pitch
forks. In the fight woman was nearly
killed. A brother of lady named
Whiteford, in Queens county, was shot
at by tenant who had been elected
according to law, and the Whitefords
have been denounced from the altar by
the Roman Catholic clergy.
A MAN IN rural town had pet calf,
which he was training up in the ways
of an OK. The calf walked around very
peaceably under one end Of the yoke,
while the man held up the other end.
But IN an unfortunate moment the man
conceived the idea of putting his own
neck in the yoke, to let the calf see how
1t would seem to work with a partner
this frightened the calf, and elevat1ng
his tail andhis voice, he struck dead
rum for the village, and the man went
along with head down and his plug nat
in his hand, straining every, nerve TO
keep up, and crying out at the top OF
his voice, "Here we come Head us,
somebody p