Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-12-04
WHOLE NO. 491


| A dead latch-That on cemetery gate.
A "put-up job-Bunker Hill Monu-
ment.
Sweets for the ill-tempered-Tar say
ings.
Trance-migration of soles-Slcep- walk
ing.
Slipping his grip" is California for dy-
ing.
The height of absurdity Medium
height
The Oldest Western settler-The even
ing sun.
Insurrection in Egypt-The rising Of
the Nile.
| The new winter hats for ladies are al.
ready felt
Household words-Thc language in .
receipt for rent.
Like begets like. A Roman punch for
a Roman nose.
Soldiers put their best foot forward.
That is right.
To make telling speech a man must
tell something.
The latest fashion in Chicago-One-te term
marriages.
If you plant puppy, what would come
up? Dogwood.
A man who is out of pocket might as
! well be out of town.
Mary wrote to her Dear John" to
"Cometafpastate.
How to get rich-Live on air and sleep
on a clothes line.
The Cuirass is all the rage with the la
dies. Balaam rode one.
A man with big nose isn't always
handsome but he's nobby,
No man can truly feel for the poor
without feeling in his pocket
Why was Ruth very rude to Boazs Be-
cause she pulled his ears and trod on his
corn.
The good of a mans life cannot be
measured by the length of his funeral pro-
cession.
Vermont singer is said to have a gold
mine in her voice. Her notes ought to be
good.
Joaquin Miller has written about "A
Storm in Venice" Mrs Miller is proba-
bly, there.
A philosopher has discovered that men
don't object to be overrated, except by as
SCISSORS.
The San Francisco Hoodlum saws
ooh, chaw me hair.' when he meets a
girl with it frizzled
Cicero said, 'The pursuit of all things
should be calm ard tranquil" How about
capturing fleas?
In the well settled districts OF Texas YOU
can get free ride on a hearse by picking
up u rattleSnake.
All the girls are becoming vegetarians
They wear turn-up hats, reddish noses
and cherry lips.
When Noah made the ark fast with
cable tow there was tied in the affairs of
men taken at the flood
'The one thing needful for the perfect
enjoyment of love is confidence" Same
with hash and sausages.
When dead man is spoken of as 1.-The
late Mr.. Smith, the inference is that he
did not die early enough
At fifteen the average boy sings gaily,
Il want to be an angel" At thirty he
wants to live as long as he can.
The crow is not so bad bird after all.
1t never shows the white feather and ney-
er complains without caws.
For the present, says the Rochester
Democrat will correspondents please write
on neither side of the sheet.
1t is considered a safe plan for IA Young
man to never trifle with the affections of
q woman who whistles
An eastern paper intimates that Treas
urer Spinner acquired his habit of profan.
ity while learning to read his own writing.
The Shah frightens his wives into SUBJ
mission by wearing an European plug hat
pulled down threateningly over his right
eye.
Grindstones are considered safe property
to invest in; because, if you cannot sell
them for cash you can always turn them.
man in danger of being hanged said
that OF all the games of his childhood
skipping the rope would be most agree
able
An old lady, hearing somebody say the
mails were irregular, said: "It was lust
so in my young days-no trusting any of
EN-"
Died in the vain attempt to twist the
tail of mule, is a Western obituary on
the unfortunate subject of practical
joke.
According to an Auburn paper, they are
going to put up in that city an addition to
their seminary, ito accommodate Sc stu
dents 200 feet long"
What's the use in these days trying to
be honest? exclaimed grumbler. Oh.
you ought to try it once, and see, replied
his companion.
A Uniontown turkey was observed on
fence, two weeks ago, intently studying
an almanac and reckoning ON his toes how
long it was from Thanksgiving.
A Western paper chronicles marriage
in this suggestive style: The couple re-
solved themselves into Il committee of two
with power to add to their number"
stephan Stern nit frau and II kid" is
one item in the steerage list of late Ham,
burg steamer. The mind recoils from the
infinite jokes suggested by these little
Sterns.
Texan named WISER, who broke one
OF his arms while wrestling with friend,
is still WISER, but the doctor says it will
be some time before he will be a better
man.
San Juan miner who has been pros
pecting in southwestern Colorado has
discovered a whole forest of petri6sd trees,
with petritied birds sitting on the limbs,
singing petrified songs.
Douglas Jerold said, in his Hedgehog
Letters" that ''respectability is all very
well for folks who can have it for ready
money; but to be obliged to run in debt
for it, is enough to break the heart of an
angel"
A Canada man tied his dog to the end
OF rear Car, the other day, and then bet
the beast could keep up with the train
Strange to say, when they got into Detroit,
tho dor uyac ohAod-thar. ~, . uoth;~~ o,,.