The Grange advance., 1874-06-10

luton "Old Put had received a lot If
new recruits, and as he had some FIGHT
ing which he wished to do before LONG.
and wanted nothing but willing men, he
drew up his levies in rank before him.
"Now, boys" said he, II don't wish to
retain any Of you who wish to leave
therefore, if any one of you is dissatis
fed, and wishes to return home, he may
signify the same by stepping six PAGES
in front Of the line. But added the
old war dog, I'm shoot the first man
that steps OUT
Mark Twain says that he went to
Mormondom with the idea of extermi-
mating polygamy. But" he adds,
my heart was wiser than my head.
1t warmed toward the poor, ungainly
and pathetically 'homely' creatures;
and as l turned to hide the generous
moisture in my eyes, I said, No-the
man that marries one Of them has done
an act OF christian charity which enti.
ties him to the kindly applause of man.
kind, not their harsh censure and the
man that marries sixty Of them has done
deed Of open-handed generosity that
is indeed sublime.
The roots of plants and trees. in
foraging for food, have vast power to
overcome obstacles. They have at their
base sort Of awl, which is endowed
with immense force for thrusting aside
heavy weights, and getting throug Oh al
most any distractions. Yet, strange to
say, the awl consists only of mass Of
microscopic cells, formed by that vege-
table mucus which contains the germ of
vital action. Some roots have been
known to pass through eighteen inches
Of solid brick-work, and make their ap-
pearance in the cellar below. Others
will pierce rocks to gain moisture. or
or will enter drains and twine about
water-pipes.
A fish story: "A short time ago
a young lady-Miss Annie Olds by name
was riding by the shore of Paper.mill
Creek" (Which is somewhere in Cali
fornia) when she happened to espy
splendid specimen Of the salmon-trout
taking its ease in the stream. She want
ed him. She had no line at hand, and
could not wait to go for one. Quick as
thought she reined her steed toward the
stream and plunged in, guiding his steps
with such delicate precision that when
she wheeled him back to shore, the fish
had keeled over and risen to the surface,
speared by the calks of the maiden's
horse. Miss Olds took the trout home
with her, and it weighed twelve pounds.
The Marin County Ne,os California; is
responsible for this tale.
An old gentleman who was ALWAYS
Dragging how folks used to work in his
young days, one day challenged his
two sons to pitch on load of hay as
fast as he could load it, The challenge
was accepted, the hay wagon driven
round, and the trial commenced. For
some time the old man held his own
creditably, calling out, more hay!
=! more hay!" Thicker and faster it came.
The old man was nearly covered still he
kept crying, more hay! more hay !"
At length, struggling to keep on top of
the IL ll-arranged heap, it began first to
roll, then to slide, and at last off it went
from the wagon and the old man with
it. "What are you down here for ?"
cried the boys. Il came down after
hay" answered the old man stoutly.
Prescott, the historian, when at
college was subject to uncomfortable
fits Of laughter. He once went to the
study Of the professor of rhetoric to re
ceive a private lesson in elocution, no
one else being present. Prescott took
his attitude as orator, and began the
speech he had committed, but after
proceeding through sentence or two
something ludicrous suddenly came
across him, and it was all over with him
at once. The protessor-no laughing
man-looked grave, and tried to check
him in a tone Of severe reprimand.
This only seemed to aggravate Prescott's
paroxysm, and he tried in vain to beg
the professors pardon, but he could not
utter an ineligible word. At last the
ludicrousness Of the situation, seized
the professor himself, his features re.
laxed, and he too began to laugh. The
more they looked at each other the
more they laughed, each holding his
sides, with tears rolling down their
cheeks OF course there was an end Of
reprimand, and equally an end of decla.