, 1874-07-19
HUM0R.

skies or an ordinary cloud passing over moun-
talu-top.
HUM0R.
L great object in life IL giant.
"A bad omen-To owe men money.
--Paternal acree-The old mans corna-
a counter-iIIitant-A rude salesn3n.
-Oyersrained-1frs Mary Strain, OF Fits
burg who married three brothers.
The recent ws:ch-burnlng at Jocobo. Mex,
oauses considerable jealousy in Salem, Mass:
~ yonr eiste5 tel into val ;o why con!dn't
brother and assisther too.
"A jurr in San Diego, Cal. the other day,
brought in verdict Of not guilty, with request
70 the dsfendaot to restore the sheep.
"A youthful PannsylVania Granger, about TO
Be ehastized By hrs father the otheF day. called
for his grandfather to protect him from TIM
mi1dleman.
A youneatez, N describing hts Sunday din
ue4. said: " We had roast beef and chicken,
! but tho chicken Was kept too long before it Tas
killed.
| what is tho difference between the outer
vall Of . bridge and two nice young ladies' !? The
one is = pa1ape4, and the other Is pair-'o-pess
-oI couFBa>
"A Mississippi plot saw sfe comet, the other
night, and Immediately cried. I've got EN-;
snakes I've had before, but now the stars have
got tails on en-; I'm doad man"
"A wonderfully scientific young man has had
ocular demonstration Of sound Ho has seen
| hls bed-tick.
-PoAte-" Please. sir, if voun get OF my
! corn long enough I'll kick you"
=" Unmnnned By the loas Of hcr husband b
| Tho nav style Of indicating = widows grief =,
If bird in the hand is worth two m the
BUSH It is no less true that thorn IN the bush
! is worth two in the hand
| AN autograph letter Of George Warrington
| WAS cold in Boston last week for SIS. The Young
| msn who wrote it got but IS oents. Thers Il
| very little Justice in this world.
AZ, k.11 -,
per: .Mr.-. Who has been in retirement fort
few weeks, sfter mszying aud burying three
sisters. up snillngly to the altar again yes
tcrday. having begua on na1 family
When Portland woman chheca her boy With
| broom be runs down on wharf and jumph
| into The wator. When he coznea out his face H.
washed, his mother doaa not know him, and h5
| Is eaved.
--oebkosh, Wis, ho.sta Of woman 1e4 years
cid, and, as It Ia popular to a=aisn some reasou
fur living 80 long, il is asserted that sha "neVet
used xero&ene oil"
Tho uausl preliminary fur ".dmission " to
| the bur "-Entez caga1 Ators. ~
-Aa officer in the Washington Favy-Yard ans
nouncss that he haA an old aud reliable bnnion
which hs ia desi1ous Of exchanging for nodern
saxs Of barometer Tia. will not get 10 excited At
every little shower that CODES np-
| "A Detroit father keeps his boy in nights BY
vanishing chair and sitting him down. lt'a
novel plan, but awful tough On tho tronss1s-
There wa. ~ Old fellow named Beecher
| WHO a3tlr " 1HEfe Ill E1cHuSub 4t3tI4s
| II rival szhcrters and prJin1 reporters
| would keep STILL "a do" says Btsche1.
Why ia comet hks cows tsii7 Because
Of it's close proximity 70 tho Milky Way.
| Once frleodlees oz,d alone. Delaware won1~
An now haa = husband and tweety-three chill
t dren. This shows hos one true frend leads ia
many: w. VIVA. ., :. xnc,, . h,n,x ,ot ~ reon,o
as We had here yee!orta5,'' y said . lzadlatl7 III
Indiana to newly guest "thcrs re;, ~ero
thirteen couples of them" "Nhst! thirteen
| couples just married oh, no slf Ialsteea
| couples just divorced"
-Bannack Jim stepped into the cigar store At
| Boze idaho, few days ago, aad asked 70 boz
row pencil. As Indians arc not generally good
| writer's, he was asked why he wanted It, "O1,
me play poker-sne want to mark en- CARDS.
/ "A Paterson man, who had placed several
lightning rods on bis house, was delighted. dur
ing q recent storm, at seeing it struck IN tao
nlscse. while the house OF his neighbor, uho ~aa
too mean to pay for d ichtnlng-rod, Vas nos
| etruck 1t all :.
A man in a etate Of comparative drunkosity
came hulsing OF saloon little after 10 o'clock
last night, Just "a the Btorm Was as lts height.
The dash Of water, which was more than po1fi. r.
| ing down, only partially sobered him, Tor be ut
out for home with = wild cry Aartyfea
Stephen the crusaders haya broke loose again"
! Huntington H0ckeye.
Poetry is spoiled sometimes By the addition
OF Single word. A young lady after listening
to her lovers rhapsodic description OF ths setting
sun. exclaimed: "Oh, Alphonso! Alphonse!
What soul you have for art; you we're meant
for = great painter!" 1Ie1 father unexpectedly
"a gentle hint-A youth and maiden Eero
! walking beneatt, the blue canopy OF the hrma-
| ment which was ''faessed with golden tires, anu
tho maiden moved BY the sublinitJ OF the scene,
| enca1ement RING is rorn-towards the zenith,
ana Exclaimed, "oh. Adolphus, isn't 1ewelry
beautiful" .......
/ D,@Ta t,u,T rT1f
some statement which was questioned, e1-
CLAIMED: ST the honorable gentleman chooses
| to challenge me- ne retire." Hera there
! were rosrs Of Laughter, upon which the speaker
| added: II mean ii he challenges my accuracy.
| We can retire to tho library, and Will show him
be 1s wrong" .
in neighboring county, at N examination
lately of applicants for schools, the follo",ne
good joke was perpetrated: County supe17n,
tendent-What is the meaning OF "theor7st :!
App,icant-A theorist is one WHO proposes plans
which be is himself unable to carry out County
superintendent-(iivs an example Of thcor1st
a thoorist in teaching, say. APPLICABILITY,
-Adolphus and Angelina hutter into the drug
stores occasionally, and che says she'll take =
little lamon in hers, with an ar OF an old manu-
at The business. Then Ahe Watches Adolphua.
Adolphus ia shreHd cuss 30 ne lea"a osa1
| tho coupter auI, with . knowing ~inK: says.
am take a little OF that same HOS ocen
there before. and be gete it, but it costa him 20
cents glass. .o,no
offenpc, pleaded mot guilty, 1nd' the ]us5 ".
ing in the box, tne Dissrict-Attorney proseeasd
to call Tr. Furklsson as i w,tness. With the
nrrnost innocence Patrick turned his face TO the
Judge snd said !: Do understand. yer Honor,
tbst Mr. Furkisson ia to be witness forenenet
EIe again :" Tho Judge said. dryly, ut seem8
Eo." We'll, thin, yer hoaor, pl9de guilty sure,
II yer honor plaise; not because I am guilty, Tor
I'm n innocint as yer Honors suckin' babe, bnt
| list OH account OF savin' 3listher Furkisson's q
| sowl."
AT Saratoga, On The evening uhon tho come. no.
first showed It's appearance, young huspam s.o
se1ted comfortably on the sofa; receiving VIII i
mischieyous delight the compliments, nrh,as apd .n9
Mary. Marv, quick Coma and look At tns
comet" calculated the husband - n q eng
q: present. she replied TRANQUILITY, and WI
ensF saos :s be- Bps ps,ssas ysa i&n
Ian, Jn1,t I,other men tho lady responded,
pesvsbly; ~ il ,Te we're never coming to sas
atoga again! cen :ce 1t nc-s year, 5oa eooae'
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