The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-11-21
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES

The Houston Texas Cayoojo& gayIy cXclaims
"Glory to God. Two dollars received at this of
flee Yesterday! Bring in your wash bill"
Among the Wants" in one Of our city dac-
appear the following: WANTED 100 girls to sew
on pants There are hundreds of girls orat linz
for the job.
An exchange says, as there a little boy in
town by the name of Uli DamyerY" We are
quite certain that "Uli lives in this city, as we
hear the boys call his name very frequently"
There is German in Carbon county, Pa, who
is father of thirty three children. His wife has
just rejected an application of the Commission
crs of Charities to put him upon the retired list
The Cleveland Leader says:
The editor Of the Toledo DomoerGt doesn't
wear his name on paper, and no Wohdcr' JUS
Alfred b. Jazes."
Danbury, CT, man has cut upforty thousand
pounds of sausage meat during the past winter
on the strength of which the Ndrs expresses de
light at their immunity from the bark OF dogs
An exchange Gays: They have man in Lock
Haven whose name is Gaudam His would be
nice name for q church deacon. For instance,
the preacher would say, "Gaudam, you pass the
plate" Sounds like "cussin," don't it: If we
were that fellow we would have our Gaudam
name changed to something more reycrcntIaL
Saws the Cincinnati Times; Mrs. Nibbard
suggested, in the Chicago Woman's conventions
that the danger Of wearing corsets can be obyiated
by the ladies having their husbands rub them
after taking of the garment aforesaid. The idea
is good one We have sent Mrs, Wizards hus
band a rcam Of sand-paper."
Griswod, the Fat Contributor" i forty years
old, and yet A. Minor.
There is not in this wide world a happier life
Than to sit 10y the stoyc-pipc and tickle your
wife;
TO kiss her warm lips in your moments of giee,
And twist the cats tail when she Jumps on your
knee.
Wallace, Junior editor Of the lively Hoopeston
Caron,l., was y years old last week Wednesday
night. His remarks y in cOmmcmoration Of an
important event in connection with his early lie
are something like the following " Last night
% wears ago the parents Of the junior editor OF
this paper didn't know whether he would be a
boy or a girl and as the freshman said: maybe
naythur"
The st. Louisau never dies suddenly. He walks
around half dozen years, telling people about
his liver and chewing qunnc, before crossing
the riycr--Nti'oaukee Ne,cs
4 bad, wicked newspaper man announces The
nuptials of Mr. Bean and Miss Bacon under the
head Of \ Dish Of Pork and Beans
Tie advertising columns Of a dramatic journal
contain some curious and, 10 the unprofessiona'
reader startling cards. Witness the following |
"Wantcd-A lady capable of playisg Frailty and
producing tine can-can.'
The Detroit FIRE Press now candidly admits |
that Shakespeare plays were written by a citi-
zen of Detroit
A Milwaukee dry goods clerk wears a shingle |
under his slIrtlront to keep the wrinkles in sub.
lection,
When the divine atIatus scizcs the editor Of
the La Sale Pres, he can discount any poet Lis. .
ten to his latest
The bullfrogs raised their tails on high !
And went bounding DER the plain,
4 bumble-bee went numbering by,
And then come on the RAM
The Chicago Post and NAL speaks Of ccntcn.
marian who naturally died poor, being born in
St Louis"
Consistent to the last: Tom Collins has died
In q cell-Er.
r,r.,.,,,u,o odi,,r
Wouldn't have time
wouldn't PRINT cussed "old
foT 'esSc" " ""''
I'd get my grub and Ticker free,
4 tickets to the shows,
wouldn't pay for buggy bier,
n wouldn't wear good clOthc-'
Oh, no, | wouldn't, only would.
,.,...,,.,.. 81, ,,....i,
e "i"c,,mstonr"s nre thc
msurmountabie difficulties which unmistaka6ly
prevent the sceptlc from discovering truth
That Is what PIttsburS munster s"lu, .h' 3.ue.
day, and they had the lmpudehcr 10 pretend tho'
he came from Boston, h'Sto" ''"@'
Jest 50.
., .,..,t. ,.,,.,
\ S""IloN Vs. VIA" '"'"''u VII NJ wiz
l.. f.r "a nm