Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-08-26


woman committinSs very needless
treachery 10 her friend and pastor.
Nv distress was boundless. | did
not for a moment feel. however.
that she was blameworthy, a.
would ordinarily be thought, but
supposed that she had been over
horne bv weakness and shattered
in mind until she scarcely knew
what she did and was no longer
responsible for her acts. Ny soul
went out to her in pity. | blamed
myself for want Of prudence aud
foresight. for l thought that all this
had been the result of her undue
affection for me. | had a profound
feeling that / would bear any
blame and take any punishment If
. that poor child could only merge
from this cloud and be put back
into the happiness from which | had
been, as | thought. if not the cause
the occasion Of Withdrawing her.
If nv own daughter had been in
a similar cese my grief at her cal
amity could scarcely have
been greater. Moreover, from
the anger and fury Of Mr..
Ti,ton | apprehended that
this charge was made by him and
supported by the accusation of his
wife, was 10 be al once publicly
passed against me, and if it was
had nothing but my simple word OF
denial 10 interpose against il. In
nv then morbid condition Of mind
. / thought that this charge, al
though entirely untrue, might re-
suit in great disaster, if not in abb
sOlute ruin TO the great interests
which were entirely dependent on
me, the church which | had built
up, the book which | was writing,
my own immediate family, my
brothers name, now engaged in the
ministry, my sisters, the name
which had hoped might live after
me and be in some slight degree
source Of strength and encourage
nent TO those who should succeed
me. and, above ali, the cause for
which | had devoted my life seemed
impcried. 1t seemed to me that
my life work was 10 end abruptly
and in disaster. My earnest desire
to avoid a public accusation and
the evils which must necessarily
flow from it, and which now have
resulted from it, has been one Of
the leading motives that must eX-
plain my action during these four
years with reference to this matter.
1t was in such sore and distress
ing condition that Mr.. Moulton
found me. His manner was kind
and conciliatory. He seemed, how
ever, to be convinced that / had
been seeking Tilton's downfall
that ! had lcagued with Mr.. Bowen
against him, and that | had by my
advice come near destroying his
family. It did not need any argu-
mcnt or persuasion TO induce me 10
do and say ANYTHING which would
remedy the iijary of which / then
believed. / had certainly been the
occasion, if not the active cause,
but Moulton urged that having
wronged Tilton, so the wrong
meant his means Of support sud-
denly taken away, his reputation
gone, his family destroyed, and
that | had done it. He assured me
Of his own knowledge that stories
which | had heard of Mr.. Tilton's
impurities of life, and which l had
believed and repeated to Bowen
were all false, and that Tilton had
always been faithful to his wife. l
was prosecuted into the belief of
what he said, and felt convicted Of
SANDER in its meanest form. He
drew the picture of Tilton, wrong
ed in reputation, in position, in
purse, shattered in his family where
he would otherwise have found a
refuge, and at the same time look
ing upon me out of his deep dis
tress, while | was Astounding in
friends the most popular, and with
ample means. He drew that pic.
: ture of my prosperity, overflowinl
and Astounding, and Tilton's degra
dation. l was intensely excited
Indeed, / felt that my mind was il
1 danger of giving way. / walked
up and down the room, pouring
forth my heart in the most unrc
. strained grief and bitterness o
: self-accusation, telling what IN.
9 ideas were of the obligations o
t friendship and of the sacrednes
!. of the household, denying, how
1 ever, an intentional wrong. See
? ing that if / had been the cause
q however remotely, of that whicl
n / then beheld, / never could for
e give myself, and heaping up tn
blame on my head. the case as j
n then appeared to my eyes wa
: strongly against me. My old an
It fellow worker had been dispossess
d ed of his eminent place and in
t fluence, and l had counseled il
i His family had well nigh bee
e broken up, and l had advised il
d His wife had been long sick an
! broken in health and body, and a
i / fully believed / had been tn
4 cause of all this wreak by continu
q ing that blind heedlessness an
!, friendship which had beguiled he
q heart and had reused her husban
- into fury of jealousy, althoug