The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-03-21
WIT AND wLSDoAf.

A Keok1k butcher gives away a chrome
with every ten pounds Of meat.
. 1 can always tell water when zee Il. ;
remarked IOddy Blossom, 1T Looks &C
much like gln."
There IL a woman in Iowa who calls the
cerebro-sPlnal meningitis the ssrioul
rOld nnal cOme and get US.
a" He handled a gun carelessly, and put
nla angel plumagv ON, 10 an OBITUARY
which appears Ia Western paper.
An Aberdeen philosopher has extracted
ths following reply fron An advanced tree
school lad To the query, how Is tine earth
divided III BY earthquakes, slrF'
Some young men in Green Bay present
ed preacher with a horse auu received
his heartfelt thanks. Two days after the
presentation the horse was taken away bY
the farmer from whom it had been rscsntlV
stolen
Ohio men don't ask each other now to
- IN and have something to drink. but
MAINTAIN personal friendship by passing
around handfuls Of mAgnlncentIy devei-
OPed peanuts and gum drops.
The saddest thing in life is the spectacle
afforded by young lady VINO has burnt
all her hair Ot her forehead with a hot
siAte-Pencll and cannot afford 70 buy q row
Vt curis.
An applicant for old clothes at q State-st
residence received a half dozen paper col
lars with the advice "to turn them and
chalk the edges.
One Of the hardest working men in Dan
bury earns his bread by the sweat of other
peoples brows-he makes swsat-leathera
Tor hatsl
A man about to purchase pair snuv.
was asked what number he wore, and an
swered, with much surprise, Why, two,
Of course
A new style Of boys trousers has been
invented in Boston, with q copper seat,
sheet-iron knees, riveted down the seams,
and waterproof pockets to hold broken
eggs.
A gentleman going up Sixth avenue,
New York, met a laborer, to whom he said:
I" Will you tell me if / am half way to
Central Park ~ Faith, an will, was
the reply, :" if you tell me where you start
ed from.
Mount Vernon, KeniA, MusknWum
McConnellsNille and Ladz.
Zach b4ds long farewell 70 Rum,
And yells out, 90 IL, ladies'"
Phey have a mud rhOle in Bennington 90
deep that small children are frequently
lost in it, and the papers say, We don't
care anything about it, cause our folks
are Just out Of children but for the sake
Of our suffering neighbors, We call atten-
tiOn to the matter"
North Adams has . tailor long known
for his keen, pungent wit. Not long since
weil-known clergyman called at his shop
with pair Of pantaloons, and asked him
If they could be repaired. The knight Of
the shears unrolled them, held them up in
a most artistic manner, carefully examined
them, and replied, Yes, yes the knees
are The best part Of them" The reverend
gentleman saw the joke, smiled bIAndly
aud left.
In Cooperstown they tell story Of an
English joker who once visited Fsnimore
Cooper. Cooper was then the most con
spicuous man ~ the little town. One day,
while Mr.. Cooper was dining with the En-
glIshman, he poured ont some native wine
wine from grapes raised ia his own gar
den. Takilg up q glass and looking
through 1t with pride, Cooper rlmarked-
" Now, Mr.. StebbIns, / call this good, hon.
eat wine" Yes, Mr. Cooper, agree
with you, it IL honest wine poor, but
honest. ]" Mr.. Cooper went on telling his
: Injun" stories.
Boarder, what large chickens these
arer' Landlady, yes, chickens are larger
than they used to Oe ten years ago We
couldn't pretend TO Ct chickens as large
As these" Boarder, with AN innocent air;
I" no | suppose not; these must nave grown
good deal ia that time" LAndlady
looks M though she must nave been mlsun-
derstood.
The expense account Of Kansas bache-
lor for December shows how they do .hin9s
there Washing, ~ "; Tobacco IS %.
A man in Missouri drew ali hiu money
out of hank during the panicy tunes and
nobody knows where he md il, then he died
suddenly, his heirs are searching wildly in
all sorts Of places.
colored citizen Of Natchez, Miss, wAa
boasting 70 grocer of the cheapness Of
ten pounds Of sugar he had purchased At
rival store. Let me weigh the pack
aye, said the grocer, and it was found
two pounds short The coIored gentle
man looked perplexed for q moment, and
then said " Guess he didn't cheat dis mig.
much while he was weighin' de sugar /
wus stealth shoes"
An Englishman writes 10 one OF the
scientific Journals stating that he has dis
covered q new cure for rheumatic Rout.
He had suffered tOrtures from that diSease
for several years, but by insulating his
bed BY means Of glass stands and sockets
under his foot, he began 70 imprvve imme-
diately.
In the Yuba county hospital, California
interesting experiments have been made
with magnet for the cure Of rheumatism
and paralysis. A large horse shoe namust
L used, and one case Of paralysis has been
almost cured, and caSes Of chronic rhoum-
attain relieved.