Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-04-12
was a kiss damask rose, whose beauty

/ the naked you must 20 u
work and make p~antaloons for the dea,
creature, and put a covering on its
back, for fear of the rheumatism"
"Yes, dear, and when you go out
please see to engage a first-class teach
er. / am anxious to commence learn
ing to play at once"
Whewl here was something extra
had not dreamed of. But my hberality
and good nature had carried me thus
far, and must not rebel now.
So the teacher came also; or, TO speak
In a more distinguished manner, the
Professor" He was a French music
master, too, and his name was Monsieur
Victor De Slamanbang.
My wife called me in one time after
three or four lessons had been given.
price 80 per lesson,) to hear him play
He was a small, very nervous individu-
/ al, with a bullet head, and a moustache
waxed a Ia Napoleon. He wore spec
tacles and walked as softly as a cat.
"Ah, Monsieur" saidhe, dancing be-
fore me, and pickering up his mouth
till the waxed ends of his moustache
stuck out like snail s-horns, and rub.
bing his hands necessarily. "Ah, Mon
sieur, Mademoiselle does honneur-vat
you call zat-ahl progress very much
finely"
yes but you'll please not dance
your feet on my toes" said / sayagely.
"Eh, Monsieur"
81 would like to hear you tune up
play" 1 replied, mastering my feel
ings.
"Oui. Has monsieur particular
m~orceau?"
mo, I'm not particular, more so than
anybody else" said 1 i~nnocently.
"Hai Hai Monsieur not comprehend.
Not Eat you say: but Monsieur's favo-
rite, nsorcedu pour h piano-how you
say zat-ah 'piecef"
"Oh, you wish to know if ! have any
favorite piece I'd like to have you per-
formP'
"Oui, Monsieur"
"Let me see. There's n called
Prairie Flower"
81 know not zat," said he much puz-
zled.
"P-r-raire FIeNr not in mon roper
tOire."
81 know nothing about rappintories,"
said L. "Play Sho Fly; Thomas Dodd:
Put me in my trundle bed, or any other
man."
"Sacre Dieu? Monsieur f-r-rightens
me. 1 knows not Eat" he exclaimed,
throwing up his hands in a confused
manner, and arching up his eyebrows
until they nearly crept on the top of
his head. Eat is not famil-yar; Eat
sounds strange; / not remember; l no
tink of dat. 1 play monsieur somesing
myself"
And jabbering "somesing" in
French, which sounded like the noise
of a persons mouth when eating very
hot soup, he seated himself at thepiano
and announced his piece as Gdllopdde
de Ia Thunder :" or something that
sounded like it.
1 sat down in anticipation Of a rich
treat.
Raising his hands high in the air,
and bending his back considerably over
the back part of the stool, he paused
thus Just one wild instant; then down
came the quivering hands with such an
enearthy crash, that l bounced up at
the sound as if a shell had exploded un-
derneath my chair. A second time did
he perform the agoniZing feat, andthen
l sprang up with a shudder and inter-
ferred.
Mon Dieu! Monsieur, vat is re
matter ?" he exclaimed, astonished at
my manner and interruption.
Matter" said l, my teeth chatter
ing, Il would like to impress Mooseer
with the fact that that piano cost me
$500; and 1t amt an anvil or a wash
board, so please treat it humanely and
don't bust it,"
Boost it? Vat you calls zat-I not
comprehend"
II mean l don't want you to come
down on it like a thousand of brick. In
short, 1 don't wish you to break it."
"Br-r-eakl" he exclaimed, opening
his eyes and mouth very wide at my
words. "Ah, monsieur is in error.
Sacrei Eat will not break-zat is
strong. Ha. Eat was prelude l play
re IntroductlOne.
''Yes, Absalom;" broke in my wife,
she was only playing the opening part,
the introduction to the Gaiop; l am
sure he understands tie use of the
piano."
"Yes, my dear, 1 think he Does" l
replied earnestly; che can scratch ivory
better than any maj l ever heard of.
Suppose, Mooseer, you leave out the
intro
Now, Absalom," said my wife pet
tishly, don't for goodness sake make
a fool of yourself"
And under the force of these words,
to use a Western expression, 81 caYed,"
and sat down again.
Monsieur went at it again. Bang
wang-firr-r-r, bang; and then he shot
off Just like mad. His head bobbed up
and down; his body swayed andbounced;
his hands few up into the air and came
down with a rush like an avalanche;
they ratified, slashed and dashed from
one end of the fnger-board to the 9TH
er. The bass moaned and groanedmost
basely; while the treble seemed to
shrek in mortal agony. His fingers
clutched the keys as if he intended
pulling them out to scatter around the
room, while his feet pounched a couple
of prongs underneath the instrument
as # they were a deadly enemy. lex
pected a spontaneous combustion, and
yelled for him to stop, but
you might as well command a
hurricane. 1 sat in despair; ]
groaned with the thought that the
value of my $500 would soon be ship
wrecked, and he kept on in redoubled
fury. He had come to the finale ale.
gro dgitato con furioso! The instru.
ment roared and shrieked louder and
louder. A thunderstorm had sprung
up within the room. Monsieur could
no longer be seen. There was a mist
before the piano which extended all
along the front; yet the sounds that
filed the air seemed like 10000 files al
work; 10000 tin pans being banged
10000 dogs, cats, wolves, hyenas, Sena.
tors and Camanche Indians yelling
and snarling; and 10000 lunatic asy,
lums emptied of their inmates.
But the trouble ended at last; the
last soul-rending, a~gonizing chord haC
been struck, and then Monsieur whirlec
around on his stool; showed his white