Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1874-04-30
A Funny Joke.


The New York Sun has funny tray
cling correspondent, who signs himsel
''Jehn." He appears to be in Californi
n at present, and he writes back as fol
= lows:
"One meets with genus homos inCali
? fcrnia that appear to be stewed down il
} funniness, both kinds of sauce. l con
[ versed with some of 'em. was on tn
, cars, there was fellow in the next sea
he hadn't his hair cut since the COLI
summer of 1851. He looked like phre
nologist that had been examining tn,
head OF a whisky barrel, and he hat
either been taking drawings from it, OF
else he'd eaten pretty big piece o.
nince pie with an awful quantity o
brandy in it. introduced myself.
Says 1. "What's the difference be.
tween dead man and corpse?"
! Says he, "There aln't none"
Says ], ,''There amt hey? suppose the
corpse is boy?"
Says he, "That's so.''
He had ring on his finger, and says
l, stranger that's nice ring"
Yes that an engagement ring" said
he.
"No, were you in the war ?'' said L.
"No sir, why," said he.
4 was in an engagement once myself
said I.
"No, did she have you ?" said he.
"No sir, she didn't; but he came near
having me-" said 1.
"How was that" said he.
"My engagement was before Rich
msnd," said L.
"Oh, oh, yes, referred to different
kind of engagement. L got this ring
when suffer-" said he.
Then said I, "Oh yes" to him, and we
got to knowing each other as well as
though we had been cradled and thrash
ed together in infancy, eaten spare ribs
Of the same carpet tacks, or partaken of
tenderlion stakes off the same beat pins
when we knew more about birch rods
than star rods. He turned cut to be
philosopher with pocket compass trav-
cling to the windward for his health, he
remarked what lot of grunters in this
world.'
1 observed, "Yes sir, especially in
Cincinnati"
"No, I don't mean hogs, mean peo-
pie" he said.
"Oh yes, you mean people afflicted
with not being satisfied with their con-
dition in life and all the time grumb-
ling because they wern't born some
other fellow"
''Exaetly; the good book says, cast
thy bread upon the waters, for thou
shall find it after many days. " he re-
II should think it would get wet and |
taste doughty" said 1.
Right here we changed our tactics;
but instead of remarking he observed;
and l, instead of observing, commenced
10 remark.
He observed, "the majority Of people |
are just mean enough to spend their
chucking little hunks of bread over
board 80 small that you could drive
spike team Of 'em through the eye of
needle without hurting the needles
head, ,and then gruns and growl because
hose crumbs don't come back to 'em in
caves so big they couldn't get two of
EN- into a coal cart.''
remarked, ssThat's So"
He observed, "Young man, everybody
'hsuld be satisfied with their lot"
7 remarked, eyes sir: I'd like one with
! house OIL it.''
He observed, 81 mean his lot in life."
aid he.
remarked, ESQ do L; I don't refer to
! lot in burying ground"
He observed, GAIL right
remarked, 'sThere are lots of lots,
lint there, not including old Lot, whose
wife was well-preserved woman?n
He observed, eyes; but remember
here are 1,300, 100000 people in this
world"
I remarked, "Including the Smiths
md the town Of Hempstead?"
He observed, "Including everybody" !
remarked, care you prepared to bet I
small sum on that"
He observed, 81 am none of yeur bet
ing men, i
I remarked, "well, 1 kind o. thought i
{ you were prepared to back up your /,
tatement that there are 1900, ,O0O, 900
'eople and folks on this sphere, I'd go 1
he drinks that you are at least 12O out I
f the way" e
He observed, "How could we prove c
e" I
1 remarked, "why I'd let you count ]
sm.'
He observed, 81 was going to say with |
uch vast number Of people in the t
world, how few, how very few of us /
Fould like to take the risk of being born
yer again. How slight would be the
hance of being born a Victoria or
,zar, and how fearfully great the
hance would be Of our being born a ,
chm Chinaman, or a nigger?" L
Says /, "That's so. Speaking of be- 1
NC born reminds me of something /
ave at home." ,
Says he, "what's that?''
Says 1, "Street music"
Says he, "What's street music get to {
10 with it?' 4
Says 1, "My street music is baby I
fyou should hear it yell for its pare
'oric at nights you'd think it was street |
music enough for one family" l
Says he, 81 will observe you are re- ]
man." l.
Says 1, 81 will remark, you are an ,
man. G
)HIo STATE SARRATHI