New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-08-16
Real and Ideal Wives.

Owing to wise prodigality Of good In
nature, or y wisely imposed delusion in
man, ideal wives are much more common
than ideal husbands. They are not found
in every house, nor indeed in every street;
but there are few of them in country and
town, and we all know some Of them. They
are not our wives-but, unfortunately, the
wives of others. Our wives may have ex-
tended catalogues of charms and virtues,
but ideal hOnOrs do not sit upO them. Men
are more enthusiastic and given to dream.
ing than women, and hence the excess OF
female over male perfection. II the power
OF idealizing were equal in both sexes, the
chances are they would hate one another. AS
it is, women are not in the least ashamed OF
being called angels and enchantresses ~ men
will 90 astray in this way, 1t ls no business
of women to set them right. They are
little given to extravaganza estimates them
selves but they are hungry for hyperbOlical'
praise. They sit demurely and smile the
last shred Of mans reason away while he
assures them that they combine all the
charms of Pagan goddesses and all the
virtues of Christian saints. If men, with
their warm and capricious imagination,
choose to place them on thrones while the
real sovereigns are out for stroll, they
don't care. They do the honors as though
they were at least heirs-apparent, and they
suffer no more Qualms OF conscience than If
they had but just established their claim to
a privilege from which they had been long
unfairly alienated.
Ideal wives are of low stature and ex-
tremely fair They are soft and gentle in
manner and slow of motion. They have
blue eyes, golden hair, rich meZzosOpranO
voices and wear moderate dress imprOvers.
Their hair and its color are their own; and
they fear strong men, but like to look at
them from windows, balconies, carriages
L. 81 NIT Nhnry
trife unhappy, and have not been married
to their first love. They can not sew over
well, but they have positively maddening
way of leaning over the backs of chairs
while they are asking their husbands if
they shall wear blue or pink ribbons. They
have no mothers living. They care little
for going into society. They never desire
to obtain the good wishes of other men,
save when their husbands interest is to
that effect. They are not painfully clever
musicians, but they know some sweet sim
pie airs and sing those at evening by the
open window. They are liable to be de-
fraudel by the servants, and are imposed
upon by trades people. They regard their
husbands as supreme arblters in all mat
ters. They would stay as they are or fly to
New Zealand with him, as he desired.
Between the ideal and the real there is a
class which may be called pOllyglOtically
er than the ideal, but unfortunately not SO
often as the real. They are tall and slen-
der, and somewhat yellow. They have
mild, gray eyes, and noses "tip. tilted. like
q flower" They have sensitive, sympa-
thetic mouths, and simple hearts. They
are not utterly amiable, but are easily
wooed to peace. Their knowledge of
household affairs is accurate, but not
obtruslve. 1t is never. visible, ex-
cept in exigencies and under ex-
citement They are ready to go
but when it is desirable, and they are ready
to remain at home. They do not abuse the
servants in the parlor, or despise all other
women. They have placid affection for
finery, but are not passiOnately extrava-
CANT. They accept presents from their
husbands as when they were lovers. They
answer in all things that they are subject to
their lords, but they rebel sometimes-jnst
enough to make the subjugation matter Of
interest, and the reconciliation delicious
repetition of old love scenes.
Real wives are much the most easily
found of ALL They are ninety-nine out of
every hundred married women. They are
such as your wife, dear sir, though you
would not care to tell her 30, for you have
previously quoted her to herself as one in
thousand. They are short Of temper, and
have morning quarrels with servants about
eggs, or table linen, or the castor OF the
arm chair. They are dictionaries Of chit
chat, and press into your ears while your
eyes are trying to obtain consolation from
newspaper. They are continually predict
ing your ruin if you don't abandon your
dearest friend. They wonder aloud at their
enduring your being ten minutes late for
dinner. # you go out only for half an hour
of an evening-tO the club or to see some
bachelor friend-they ask you what kept
you out the whole evening, and whether
you knew they wished to talk to you
about the kitchen range. They wonder
where you order your coal, and if you
know you only get halt your proper
weight If you fall asleep at the fire, you
wake to find them in tears over your neg
lect; and if you try to read, they revile
you for your rudeness and want OF c0nsid
Grafton. They do not know how money
goes, and they wonder you are content to
live in SO mean a house. If it is summer,
they hate your country seat, and won't 60
there for few months, because all their
friends are at the watering places. If it is
WINTER you might be able to afford more
than three parties in the season, or if not
you should go to the south of Europe. where
you may have good society without much
expense. They get millinery in three diff
ferent houses, that no one bill may seem
excessive, and they never can discover how
you are not speechlessly grateful for their
economy.