Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-08-20
ALI Sorts.


UNT1DY--Untied shoe-strings.
JAPAN has the largest tea crop of her
history.
If thy enemy wrong thee, buy each
of his children a drum.
SHERIDAN has asked permission to
cavalry the offending Indians.
CHICAGO has sixty fortune-tellers
but not one OF them said, "Git them
engines ready"
COUNTERFEIT coupons of different
American securities are being returned
from Europe for collection.
THE leading White mountain houses
employ seminary and college students
of both sexes for table walters.
THE late Walter Ingall, the artist, is
said to have been honored by the Pope
with His Eminence's first and only sit
ting for picture.
ESTHER SHAW, of Davenport, Ia,
worked thirteen years in one family be-
fore asking for cent of pay. Needn't
write for her she's dead.
CoURBET has fed to Switzerland, i'm
pressed with the impossibility of re-
storing $3.50, 900 worth of Vendome col
umn with S12, 900 total assets.
DOM PIATT says the proper thing to
do when your horse is running away
is "to hold fast to your seat and say
your prayers. Anyhow, hold fast to
your seat"
WHEN a man nearly breaks his neck
trying to get out of the way of eight
ning-bug," supposing it to be the head
light of locomotive, it is time for him
to sign the pledge.
THE Detroit Free Press processes to
have discovered young lady who
bushes, goes to bed at nine, eats
heartily, speaks plain English, respects
her mother, doesn't want to marry a
lord, and knows how to cook.
A CLOUD of gloom and sadness over
spreads the land, and newspaper read
ers weep. 1t will be year-a whole
year-before any more college COM
mencements will thrill the bosoms of
our people.
YOUNG ladies subject to nervous de-
bility in summer ought to beware of
taking too much exercise. They
should, as much as possible, lie quietly
upon the sofa and suffer their mothers
to fan them.
The Duke and Duchess of Edin-
burgh have had beautiful dessert serv-
ice made for them, and it is being ex-
hibited in all its glory of turquoises
and gold and emblematic Cupids to the
public in London.
OK his death-bed, Terre Haute,
Ind, cCmpositor confessed to having
maliciously substituted I" those" for
"these " in no less than seven hundred
paragraphs. He had accomplished his
fell work through conspiracy with
the proof-reader.
SOME stilted authorities pronounce
the name of Farragut as if it was
spelled Farrague. The proprietor of
the name was always filled with wrath
at the abomination, and often, on such
occasions, repeated the name in such
way as to make every letter in it do its
best.
AN unhappy husband in Pennsyl-
vania, who cut his wife's throat, then
plunged knife into his abdomen. and
forced it to the hilt by jamming the
handle against the wall, displayed an
amount of energy which would have
made his fortune in the patent medi-
cine business.
Miss TAYLOR is young lady whose
pluck at the Alexandra Palace Horse
Show in London recently should have
won her prize. Her horse refusing
the water-jump and rolling over and
upon her, she sprang up with her habit
splashed with mud, caught her horse,
and took the Jump the second time in
fine style.
A CERTAIN "Uncle James of our
acquaintance, whose execution is not
quite equal to his preference for the
violin, was paid a delicate left-handed
compliment, the other night, by his
little niece, who, on being awakened
some time Ia the small hours of the
night by the hideous performances of
two felines under the window, naively
remarked, mamma, 1 don'tike to hear
Uncle James play on VIOLIN"