Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-06-20
ABOUT WOMEN.

A lady is now captain Of a schoo-
ner plying between Jacksonville
and st. Augustine.
The Peoria woman who wanted
to throw herself into her husbands
grave a few months ago has just
married a lightning-rod man.
A mother advised her daughter
to oil her hair, and tainted fiat
away when that damsel replied,
'Oh,no, ma; it spoils the gentle
mems vests
An old lady in Michigan is OPP
posed to cremation unless the
friends of the deceased hire car
RACES and drive the mourncrs up to
the grounds and back.
Ny hand is not lemon nor my
lips dear meat, as the young lady
said to her escort when they part
cd at the door the other night.
Why did she speak thuslyY
In Wisconsin they are preparing
to dock the best part of the minis
ter's marriage fees by discoutinuiDg
the privileges of kissing tho bride.
This won't do at all.
A Maud Muller laughed heartily
at young haymakcr when the yell
lowjackets got up his nankeen
trousers. But when they got up
her'n, twas no joke.
1t took four doctors to counter
act the effects of an overdose of ice
cream in Detroit woman, but she
succeeded in scalping three OF
them while doing it.
There arc three classes into
which all the women past seventy
that 1 ever knew wore to be divid.
ed: First, that dear old soul;
second, that old woman; third, that
old witch.-Coleridge.
Among all the statistics of ie-
male hygiene there is none more
suggestive than this, that no wo-
man was ever attacked with faint
ing fit in church while wearing her
last years bonnet.
Talk about the severe mental
labor of men,, says Bertha, ft takes
moro hard study TO discover the
front Of "a new spring hat than
would win case in the supreme
court against railroad
Since the Dunkards have lulmin-
ated against the piano a Western
convert says: 'Wo have never
taken much interest in the Dun
kard's faith, but our chief object
in life just now is to convert that
muscular young woman next
door.
1t is beautiful sight to attend
an Arizona wedding. The bride
in whIte-the happy groom-the
solemn minister-the smiling pa
rents, and from twenty-five to for
ty shot guns standing against the
wall ready for use, making up a
panorama not soon forgotten.
Three young ladies by the name
Of Welsh, whose ages range from
sixteen to nineteen, have purehas-
cd piece of land eight miles west
of Dallas, Texas, and intend cult
waiting it themselves. Not a man,
old or young, good or bad looking,
is permitted to como on their prem
ises.
Schoolma'ams, like necessity, are
the mothers of invention. Here is
one in Athol, Mass, who has found
out very literal way of humbling
naughty boys and girls. She
makes them lie on the floor face
downward, with their arms stretch,
ed out at RICH. angles, biting the
dust, rs it were.
Who is this girl Helen Blazes,
to whom tho boys so often appeal
in sudden pain or periPs darkest
hour2 a day or two ago n young
man trod on piece of orange-peeli
and sat down on the pavement, at
the same time exciaiming, Helen
Blazesr And that same evening
another young man struck his toe
against brick, and taking his foot
up in his arms, he, too, cried 'Hel-
en- Blazesp There may be such a
patron SAINT of the hurt in the cal
endar, but we can't find her there.
-Courier-J ournal.