Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-01-22
PHtNNNGRAMS.


work for family of nine, milks two COWS,
and keeps track of thirteen continued
stories.
The amount of time that may be
wasted on tritles cannot, perhaps, be re-
called under more eNasporating circum-
stances than in struggle with a greasy
china door knob.
49," If this jury conyictS my client"
said Western lawyer, rolling up his
sleeves and displaying his ponderous
fists, Il shall feel compelled to meet each
one and hammer Justice into his soul
through his head" Verdict of not guilty
THE days are growing longer" OBJ
served Mr. Spiggs to his family, Friday
morning. Eyes, | have noticed it," in
terrupted his aunt. "They are half a
minute longer" added Mr. Spiggs, in the
same tone of voice. As no reply was
needed To this the aunt made nome
Daabury NeWs.
-" Who's thcre?n said Jenkins, one
cold winter winter night, disturbed in his
reposc by some one knocking at the street
door. "a friend" was the answer
"What do you want p "Want to stay
here all night' Queer taste--stay
there by all MEANS" was the benevolent
reply.
--"All little boys are not Indifferent to
the needs of their little sisters. There is
an ingenious lad on Pine street, who
snow balls these pedestrians with view
to making them dodge The strain they
are thus subjected to breaks off more or
less of their buttons, which he industri-
ously gathers after the victims departure,
and gives to his sister to put on a string
DanbuTy Ne1os.
The other day, at "A concert, gentle
man having put his hat upon chair to
keep place, returned to claim it after Il
short absence, The hat he found, sure
enough where it had been left, only there
was stout lady sitting on it. Madam"
said he, you are sitting on my hat"
The lady blushed little, turned round,
and said in the blandest manner: ooh, |
beg pardon! Pm sure thought it was
my husbands"
"A witty Cincinnati lady, writing
from Washington, says: "Boston draws
herself up severely, scans your cerebral
developments through her glass, and
coolly asks: What do you know2' New
York displays her silks and diamonds,
Philadelphia, with prim hands and
pursed-up lips, asks: who was your
grandfatherY While Washington steps
between the waltz and the German to in
quire; Can you dancer"
81 don't believe much in the Bible"
said collegian to an old Quaker. "Does
thee believe in France" Eyes, | do. l
never saw it, but | have plenty of proof
that there is such n country" Then thee
does not believe anything unless thee or
thy reliable friends have seen 1T" "No,
be sure won't" "Did thee ever see thy
own brains?" "No" Odd thee ever
know anybody that has seen thy brains ?"
"No." "Docs thee believe thee has any
brans?"
A young lady, the daughter of rich
petroleum operator, before returning
from boarding.shool, had party given
for her benefit. Upon tse bottom of the
invitation cards she caused to be in
scribed, "R S.V. T., and one was sent To
a young man who had also made his
money by boring. He did not come, but
sent a card with the letters "D. =. G. c."
Meeting him in the street. she asked him
what the letters meant Tell me first
what yours meant" "Oh mine was
French for Respond, if you please"
well, mine was English for Darned
sorry can't come p"
In Plymouth Church, the other Sun
day morning, Mr.. Beccher refused 10 give
a notice in the following CHARACTERISTIC
and Beechcr.likc manner He said; 81
am requested to give notice which puts
me in little difficulty; ! don't want to,
and do want TO. The Amaranth ORA
matte Association wish to give benefit,
in the Academy OF Music, next Saturday
evening They wish to pay all the ex-
pcnses themselves, and give all the re
ceipts to the poor Of Brooklyn. Now, /
want the poor to have all the money they
can get, but don't want to advertise "A
theatrical company, and therefore | shall
nor give the notice. Great laughter.