The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-07-18
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

blackstone and Kent--the dell take em;
will laugh, grow fat and be gay;
Flowers that grow by the wayslde
I'll sp--for my wife is away
Nv hair-it's black as wing of raven;
will sing, ] will firt and plays
NV days shall be filed with music
My nights-for my wife is away
Twill dream and sigh by Che moonlight
By river, by lake. and by bay;
And the tel-tale stars must keep silence
Keep silence--for my wife is sway.
Then here's 10 the world and its pleasures,
And the cares 20 the world flung be they
Let us eat, let us drink, and be merry
Whenever our wives are away.
Oh Jacob! you naughty man.
The following, from an eastern exchange, eX-
pIains how prohibition comes to prohibit GO ad-
rnirably down in Maine
mason, in pulling down chimney ~ Lewis
ton, Me- recently uneartbed a whisky barrel
which was sealed up in brick work. A brick
was so placed as to be removed admitting the
thirsty conner to o faucet whence the cllNer cOulu
be drawn. There was, doubtless, an arrange
lnent above oiill the barrel Such genius, sure
IL, was not born to blossom It's nose unseen
The prejudice that has SO long prevented Peru
and La Salc from becoming one city is wcarin z
away The two are SO far agreed that they pro
pose to become united by a horse railway and
in addition they have begun to apply pet names
to each other, the La-5allcites lovingly speaking
OF the Peruvans as "our west eri nelghb0rs,
and the Peruvians calling La Sale our eastern
suburb" 1t used 10 be the "Dutch settlement
on the bottom" ard the Irish colony on the
hill"
California is again ahead. What relief If our
T,., r,,,,Tl oil, al
low this California example:
Lawrence McNulty, Of San Francisco stood in
the window of his boarding house and addressed
crowd on the subject Of suicide. lie explain
ed different methods at some length, and then
whipping out razor, showed 'how it was done
by cutting his throat
A Philadelphia gentlemen adyertses soap
that will wipe OUT the national debt. There is
probably some lye about it.
Cabbages oc respectable size have been sell
ing in our market for 20 cents per head during
the past week. And this in atown surrounded
by the best agricultural region in the Union
lie Sale Press.
And in city where such hugh c0bbages grow
on editorial shoulders!
Tramps ard dead beats" are getting numcr-
Gus in Oder Of late. SOHe of them look about
as spiaring rs string u twisted hemp. -OteH
Weekly.
"Spiarirg." Is that Odallan for hungry, or
tight, or what?
Nothing Initiates physicians SO much as 70 be
mentioned in the papers in connection with
critical surgical operation. The Odell Weekly,
understanding this amiable weakness Of the pro-
lession, gets perpetual subscriber by a little
vancouver like this:
Dr. Matthews was called to Cayuga on the 4th
TO assist in setting broken limb Of 4 grass
hopper.
There was one feature Of the celebration of
the big bridge opening at ST. Louis on the 4th
that seems not TO have been brilliant success
The fire works in thc evening, upon which
round sum had been expended and which one
Judy was specially employed to engineer, failed
to "go of" TO the satisfaction of the audience.
We infer this from the fact that the Dsmocyct
thus calls on Judy to explain:
Now rise up, William Judy,
And tell us what you know
About the plaguy fireworks,
And why YOU fooled us so! &
No longer toss from hand 10 hand
The daily standing Joke,
But tell us why the graud display
Ended up in smoke.
climbed with others to the top /
OF Browns six story store i,
And on a seat beside Maria l.,
We viewed tie landscape DER. ,
There came bang, there fixed liz,
The 'wurks," Oh, where were they
ASK Of the man down in New York {
Who played II" ia this way. i
| heard the adjectiyes skip out; II
heard poor Judys name II
Bancled out among tue crowd,
And Dctwicr the same.
So initiate the noble ID" {
The hoy OF truth, ,yUu know, Il
and @I the brave young committee |
Just 1nhy you aCtedso. =
L Davenport newspaper speaks Of u doctor IN :
that city looking with adeepmcaning smile q p.
on large lot Of green Bited cucumbers.n On
his way home b. was observed To whisper cos,f.
'dertially with several undertsatcrs.
Excursion tickets TO participate in the FEST
Niiies attending the execution Of Jim Davis" are
advertised at half price in Texas.
4 Kentucky farmer says th1t three good bal
dogs roaming the yards at nights Will do more 30
keep man homes. than all the talking in .ise
world.
Let us al strive to live SO that the local papers
may say u us rs o Philip Buns, OF Delaware:
IN nat wasn't always cOckej,Gyer his left ear
bat he didn't owe hatcher town" II
Something funny fam so usually staid and SOL
emn journal as the Chicago Int,yioy, the west
ern organ OF the Prcsbyterians, is eoubiy appre.
cable The following are neat and as sharp as
bee sting:
lhe A4yiGaoe N last week made a laborious eff
Tort 20 show that what IL calls "Old fcbooI The
oiogy logically embraces the doctrine of infant
leFolllon. Taking our faith in the final happi-
ness OF lnf&nts and idiots as one leg of sylo.
Elsin, and tie AVsanct's article as the best that
10 numerous editors can do, as another. we ar
nae at great relief ftom solicstude for "A safely
Of the editors Of that paper
y has been hein0usly suggested that III. oppo-
sluon 10 feminine church orstory arises from
Ie4r Oh successful rivalry. On behalf OF chou
Eauls OF dull clerical Saa Law s..al.rs w. h,,-l