Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-06-17
Humorous.
APApER on CmcKENs.-Most usually

A PAPER ON CMCKENs.-Most usually
it takes two eggs for to make chicken,
because, if you will put eighteen eggs
under q hen, only about nine of 'em
will hatch. A hen is so careless and
stubborn that most always she won't
cover her eggs all over, and 80 they get
chilled; then they are everlastingly
gone up. Also, the rats will rob nest
so that, If you get half brood, it is
topable crop, and you should be thank
full. Then, I think, it stands to reason
this ought to prove what 1 said at first.
A hen, which has got young family,
is much more crosser than anything
else which can be compared with her
under the sun in the United Safes.
There never was thing which can ruffle
its feathers up backwards and rage
worse than fool hen. A turkey-gob-
bier will do it, but he don't go all into
a red-hot passion about it, and make a
fool of hisself, and get enemies all for
nothing like a hen would. A chicken
in the spring time which was put to
hatch in March, if it has good luck and
don't die of the dip, or gaps, or the
cholery morbus, or get drownded or
something, will be big enough to sell to
the restaurant about in June. They
will fetch six dollars a dozen, and a
chicken is more popular where it is
spring chicken than if it would live
long enough to get as tough as Methu'
seller. They say that spring chicken
is luxurious thing for to broil and mix
up with toast. That's what l have
heard. Once in great while we have
spring chickens for dinner. Then we
have the preacher, or else some CON-
pany, and 1 eat ut the second-handed
table, and l can always tell by the
savory smell going ON in the kitchen
that broiled chicken ought to be good
enough for anybody. But if l can't get
something to eat more suhstantialler
than a smell, always fall back on roast
ness like a owl, and it never picks up
any wisdom. 1t is not talented timing
like fox. II you can show me more
stupider thing than a hen, / wish you
would trot her out. The rooster has
got what little sense there ever was in
the family 1t is one of the worst diff
entities with a chicken that she don't
know its place. She won't stay in the
barnyard, where she belong, any way
you can fix it. If your mother has got
flower-beds in the front yard-and it's
a mighty curious mother which amt
every last chicken on the place will get
in to scratch them, if it takes till next
Christmas and then goodbye to the
hyacinthes and crocuses, and jerryran
thens and all that kind of foolishness.
Then it is the time You want to have
two jackets on or else forget to come
home early if it was you which left the
lattice gate open. Anyhow, that's my
advice. Also. a hen is hard hearted
and cruel, and will kill every little desc
lated stray chicken who tries to asso-
ciate with her own brood, and this il
good enough reason why she is like
stepmother. If hen once gets fair
hold of little chicken to shake it by
the nape of the neck it will never kick
again in this community more than
twice. The frequentest bad habit which
a hen has got is going off to the neigh
bors to lay also it is too soft thing
for the neighbors but it is generally
chronic for hen to do it, and the only
way for to cure her is to cut her head
off and boil her down into soup. She
won't go to the neighbors to lay many
times after that, don't think.