The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-11-06
PROFESSIONS.
The Average 90 ProcessiOntst . but a
81 OVergrOvn SchSOI-noy.

i
Ia q OversrOsn Sch0OI-Boy.
The tendency of men to herd them
selves into professions is. one of the
! mysteries of human nature, which is
! only equa led by the tendency of those
who are not in the herd to stand in the
/ broiling sun and admire the others.
[ Why this should be so, what peculiar
satisfaction the man IN the procession de-
rives from it, and what objects he has In
! view, are. problems yet to, ,besolved, and
HYet is is probably the height of the am
/ bition of every average man TO see the
| day when he shall go In a-procassiOn;
! happy if he can march on foot; dOubiy
happy If he can carry the "Star Spangled
! Banner" or some other banner bearing
a strange device thrice happy If he
may ride a horse, terrify the women and
| children with the. caracOlings OF his
| fiery charger, and shout hoarsely at his
division of the procession. All this is
more remarkable from the. fact that the
procession is but a child sport, with
the difference that the paper hats have
been changed for beavers with feathers
in them the lath swords for steel ones;
the tin pan and whistle for the drum and
fife !; the red flannel stripe and bit of
blue ribbon for Variegated uniform
bespangIed with. jewels and gaudy with
Ensel, and the stick, which the leader
straddled 50 gracefully, for live horse,
which the leader, nine times out Of ten,
straddles ungracefully. 1
The effect of the procession upon the
Individual hardly has a parallel among
natural phenomena. Your butcher or
your shoemaker may be, and probably
is, very ordinary man, not blessed
with wealth or beauty having no soul
cravings or yearning desires for the
good, the true, and the beautiful the
owner Of a brood, of rather dirty and
promiscuous children +; with an intellect
capable OF the scientific carving Of a
sheep, or skillful cobbling of boot.
There is nothing majestic or awful about
him. You would not invite him to your
soiree as paragon. Indeed, IN his
morning call at your house, your servant
ceives him, and they gossip together IN
q friendly way. But orce array your
butcher in a plug hat and white apron,
throw an emblazoned crimson scarf over
his muscular shoulders +; put a boiled !
shirt on him, and stick q rose in his but I
ton-hole hang two or three tinsel
crosses and other ornaments on his
manly breast, and, if he be large-l
butcher, let him carry bannt stuck IN
a pouch, looking as if it were rooted IN
his ample corpus, and he becomes, meta
morphosed into another creature. As
he marches along in stately manner,
keeping time, time, time, IN sort OF
Ruuic rhyme, to the tintinabUlatlons OF
the band, he-is an awful and majestic
being, who towers above you as you
stand upon the cuFbstOne, and looks
down uDon5 you as one of the sans Gu
Totes. Yesterday he would have taken
of his hat 10 you to day, If he sees
you at all, he only sees you as an atom;
one of q thousand, admiring him a mag
nifcent being, only equalled by q royal
posentate, and possibly surpassed by a
sultan in the grandeur Of his bearing
and the gOrgeoUsness of his apparel. /
As you retire to your chamber at night,
with the confused picture OF flags, ban
ners, crosses, swords, aprons, horse
collars, trOmbones, and guns fitting
before YOU, the vision of this majestic
creature appears, looming up like Mont
Blanc among lesser hills. You regret
now that only yesterday you yexed his
great soul with complaints about tough
beef that you had Threatened to dis
charge this awe inspiring cFeatura and
employ another. You regret your dull
ness in not recognizing the possibilities
lying dormant in him, and you mentally
resolve to make your respects 60 him,
the Thrice Dlustrieus Prince, or Most
Eminent Grand Seigneur, or High and !
Top-IIOfty Baron, commanding and Most
Stunning Knight of PythagOras to
request the pleasure of eating tough
steak hereafter. r-~-