The enquirer southerner., 1874-07-24

A bad omen-To owe men money.
A cool request-Please pass the
ice.
Paternal acres-The old mans
corns.
Handy misunderstanding fin.
gers
y highly intelligent dog-~The
type~setter.
The conjunctivc mood-ThougLts
OF matrlmony.
It is said that in the Paris gar
dens one may find every kind of
roses, even including rhinoce,roses.
The difference between lost ars
and a lost heart-oGly an aspira-
ton.
He went back on his own true
love, because she ate onions, and
the jury gave her s., 200 damages.
We hold that woodchuck is fit
tor treason, stratagem and spoils:
because he has no music in his hole.
The longest word in the English
language is smiles, because there is
a mile between the first and last
letters.
IG is said that the prettiest girl
in Harrisburg is a newspaper car,
rier. She carries them in her bus~
tie.
That little birds do in their
nests agree is no credit to the
birds, because it would never do for
them to fall out.
4 Father in Wisconsin offered
his son five ssdollars to take dose
of castor oil, and then got Il coun>
terfeit bill of on the boy.
Don Piatt says shrcwdly: Iiu>
NOR is to IL newspaper what 4 tail
IS to a kltc--vcry absurd, bur very
necessary to its ascention,
An Instructor asked girl why
beer in French was feminine. Shc
replied that it was probably o.v:ng
to the fact that the boys likpl I- 50
well.
1t is said that whales are far
more numerous this year thau last.
This will be cheering news - such
poor people as couldn't lay in their
winter whales last fall.
What kind ofsausages is them"
aaked an old lady of the young man
of literature and peanuts as he
passed through the train selling
bananas.
One of our fashionable youths
donned his first silk hat and cigar
Saturday evening. He got along
we'll enough with the cigar, but he
had to give up the hiatt made
him sick at the stomach.
A Cincinnati reporter says that
there is something grand in pair
of runaway horses, but we believe
that a good deal depends on wheth-
er a man is on fence or trying to
climb over the end board of the
wagon.
The Ottumwa, 0a.,) Courier has
abolished the beIigerent rooster as
indictive Of triumph at an election,
and substituted an ear of corn, sand |
wlched in the SENTENCE" Pretty |.
near clean shucking.'' 1t is an
improvement.
A drunken Chinaman feeling rich
and elated at his progress in Amer> /
lean civilization, went through the .
streets of San francisco CRYING, !
"Hoop-la, hoop~la , Me all same
as Mclean man. Hair cut short and !
drunk like h-ll.'
A dear old Yankee ladv beino
asked if she had ever her ears
pierced by the vail Of distress, said
she couldn't just exactly rem ember.
but she believed it was done with
shoemaker's awl.
A Bowery merchant who had
declined to advertise in the Com,
mercial Advertiser, because 'sno>
body would see it, came around q
few days after to offer $25 to have
his name kept out of the police re-
ports.
A man died in bath tub in New
York, the other day, just after taxi
ing a bath.-Now this is not an
argument against bathing, 1t is
thought that he would not have
died if he hadn't cut his throat from .
ear to ear.
Said small boy to Barnum.
"What will you give for a cherry
colored cat ?" "Ten dollars" re-
piled Barnum, eff it is really cherry
>colored." Soon the boy returned !
to Barnum's hotel and unloaded t
a black cat at Barnum's feet. The t
Snowman saw the point, and paid t
'he youngster $40, with the remark.
3 RnH vou' pa atolor, r,az, 4aI .. :