The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1874-08-27

CtIId1H CIldI uC Will nave -uen WO00
they are wanted.
ssWon,t DO So Any More.,s
From the St. Louis Republican,
Old Wiletts, of Washington, has
found out how to break q boy of DISC
beoience, especially swimming in for
hidden waters. He thinks he has dis
covered an infallible recipe for that state
Of moral health, the motto Of which is,
won't do SO any more It is printed
for the benefit of parents and boys,
and may be suggestive of hints which
can be applied to any bad case of DISC
bedience with the certainty Of cure.
Old Wiletts, starting for his Office one
morning, told his ll-year-old Sammy
that as mad dogs and bad boys abound
ed he was not to go out of the house
that day, but stay at home and help
his mother. Old Wiletts was scarcely
out of sight before Sammy ran away
from his mother, with his thumb to his
nose and his fingers wriggling, making
signs which the old lady did not under
stand. Sammy ran into neighboring
alley and escaped the maternal clutch.
Sammy went swimming with some Of
those bad boys against whom the old
man had cautioned, but he kept away
from the mad dogs by staying in the
water all day. Old Willetts was at
home when his dutiful SON Sammy
returned. He was waiting for
his darling boy at the gate.
Ho opened the conversation with !:
Samuel where have you been!'' The
truthful Samuel, having the fear of his
father before his eyes, and the example
of the father of his country in his guile
less heart, said: ''Father, I can't tell a
whopper; I've been over to see Char
ley Myers, new goat Then that in
dulgent father, filed with honest pride
for his ofspring's integrity, took his
boy by the hair, and asked: "What
makes your hair SO wet p The boy
was getting ready an answer to delude
the old man, but he had not time to
pronounce it before his breath was gone.
There was hogshead of water stand
ing in the front yard. The father took
his son by the heels and with heel in
each hand he plunged him into the
hogshcad of water head foremost. Thus
he was several times dipped and lifted
up like the old-fashioned way of max
ing tallow candles. The boy only got
breath enough to splutter, won't do
So" The remainder Of the sentence
was always drowned out, and he found
it impossible to make himself thor
oughly understood. This baptismal
process for the remission OF
sins was continued until the
officiating minister got tired,
and then he nodded to the old woman
to come and take her abused boy 9
part, according to a preconcerted un-
Outstanding between the couple. She
came, did Mrs. Willets, and said ;
"Ain't you ashamed Of yourself, to treat
your boy in that way She pushed
the father away and took charge her
self. It was hot day, and she had a
hot FIRE built in the kitchen to dry the
boy of. She was afraid he'd catch a
heavy cold by exposure, and had two
mustard plasters prepared. She slap
ped one on the boys back and one on
his breast, and made him sit close to
the fire, with his bare feet on a warm
brick, while the applications worked.
The hottest Of hot springs was nothing
to it. She also gave the little fellow a
drink of strong ginger tea to keep the
cold out and calm any irreverent feel
ings he might be cherishing towards
his poor old father. At last he said
penitently: Indeed I won't do 50 any
more" The piteous tones fell upon
the mothers ear like prayer. She
took him off the spit and dressed his
blisters, and let him retire to the
shades of the cellar to cool of. Sammy
Willets has reformed, and does not
know which Of his parents to honor
most. He has never explained to his
father how his head got wet that day.
That hogshead of water still stands in
the yard, and Sammy may turn out a
first class Washington boy yet. He
lived through it, and his parents think
for some good urpose-probably to be
President when he grows big enough.
A story Abeat Toele.
Toole tells another amusing story
with regard to his makeup. The Incl
dent occurred one night when he was
playing for ! benefit at Sadler's Wells.
He performed at the Surrey Theatre
and Ct the Adelphi On the same even-
|, ing, and, - may BE- imagined, had little
time 70 lose 10 dressing, etc. HoweyeF,
hi work over - the Surrey and ths
IAdelphi, he LEFT the latter establish