Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1874-09-18
didn't want a ticket. :"

Why, I'm gwine to see my daughter.
She's been"
"What placer" jerks the ticket clerk.
Where does she liver
Why, young man, she don't live
thar; you see it came on her kind of
suddent, and"
"Now look here, my good woman"
begins the clerk, fairly out of patience.
Nov, don't call me woman," cries
the old lady. g Ye skinny shipper, |
wouldn't handle yer dirty tickets. I'll
pay on the car TO gentleman"
With this insulting emphasis she
makes room for lady who forgets the
name of the place she is going to, and
requests the clerk to read over one or
two lists of places. She says if she heard
the name she would know it in a min
ute.
Fussy old gentleman: "Look here
here, young man, what time does the
next train call p
"5.45, sir"
"5:35p rejoins the querist in aston
ishment. thought it was quarter
to six. How you do change.
Look here, mister, you didn't give
me enough money. handed you ten
dollar bill you must have took it up,
and | want five dollars more"
Ticket clerk looks at his cash and
finds that he has not taken a ten-dollar
bill so far that day. He replies:
"You must be mistaken, sir; / gave
you your proper change.
Wa'al, | say you didn't; do you
want to cheat me?"
No, sir; l merely say gave you
your money"
And merely say you're thundern
liar, and if had you outside this hole
I'd bust your smooth
Ticket clerk instiuctively feels if that
organ is in its proper place, and the con-
ductor's All aboard !" attracts the pug
nacious traveller to the cars.
This is the kind of individual who
sends such precious efusions as the fol-
lowing to the general superintendent:
"Sir-Your ticket clerk at - is a
thief He robbed me of five dollar
bill, and when taxi him with his vile
ny he aboosed me in the worst wa. Yew
had better discharge him right ava.
A REGULAR Traveller ON YER RoUT.'
OF course the general superintendent
would take no notice of such an epistle
but these are the charges, treatment, and
nuisances to which ticket clerk is sub.
ject. He must have patience enough to
bear abuse without retaliation, and to
answer, with apparent pleasure, daily,
hourly, weekly, all the year round, the
same old, commonplace question.
What is the fare to-Y'
"When does the next train start? ?"
"Does it go to-"
"Guess it don't go as far as, does
it?"
"What is the train before that, and
what is the train next to that p
" Is there a sleeping-ca on it?"
:" Is there a smoking-car on it? II
there amt | think it a derned shame
Is the next train on time ?"
Does it raostly run on time p
"Will there be berth to be had ?"
Is there mostly ?"
Will it connect?'
"Where is the saloon ?"
Young man, you seem kind O. snap.
pish. Where's the general superinten.
dents office ? I'd like to tell him to keep
more civil men on his route"
"If y,u will just put your head
through this hole, I'll bust your nose,
etc.
$50 goes the ticket clerk work from
day to day. As l said before, if he were
not fenced in he could not perform his
duties it is necessary to fence him in
An inquisitive chap stepped into a
marble shop the other day, where Smith
was about completing the sculpture of a
lamb. did you cut out that animal p
asked the interrogation point. "Oh
no." said Smith, 9" the lamb has been
there all the time 1 only took the mar
BILE from around him-that's ALL"
A young sea-nymph whose father OBJ.
tains livelihood by pIoughing the bri
ny deep, was asked if she knew the
names of the seasons of the year. The
girl readily replied, Eyes. there are four
the mackerel season, the whiting sea
son, the herring season, and the trawling
season"
A good story is told of the students o
an institute which is located in the New
England states. A year or two since
just before Lent, the principal of th,
school lectured the boys upon the pro
priety of abstsining from some accus
toned article of diet during Lent, snC