St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-04-10
Unparalleled Sale of Government
Stock.
BY POLICY JACK. NATIONAL AUCTION
FER.

FER.
(Reported for the Caledonian.)
Well, gentlemen. here | have been
the last hour trying to sell Ben Buffers
chance for the Presidency. but us three
cents is the highest offer you can make
me have come to the conclusion he
must he one of the many unfortunate
flowers
horn To blush unseen.
And waste their sweetness the desert air.
He's what You may call mfated cWren-
cy. That is blown out to twice his nat
ural dimensions. There aint one ounce
of specie payment about him. Inflated
currency is speciality Of the nine
teeuth century. 1t is popular on the
platform. in the legislature, the pulpit.
and the editorial sanctum. Specie pay
ment is brains. heart, noble purpose ::
its fruit is justice. truth. integrity. pro
gress. and Immediately of government
amid eternal mutation. When the nat
ti"n returns to this kind of specie pay
meut. that moment | 90 out of the alIr-
ton business But till then down goes
Boy. fetch along he parcel We had by
express from the White House thi~
morning Here. gentlemen. is q suit ni'
modern political armur: bran new. and
warranted I" fit anybody. Here j. 4
nice par of spectaclrN. highly polished.
and OF superior finish. Looking through
this modern invention the pn>>c>>nr he
holds his own interests loom up in vast
proportion and eVcryh"dy clSc's sinh
int" in>i%nitirlnrr. 1t has this hcauti-
full inscription on the gold nose yoke ::
Look ont for number one. This bright
steel glove hold in my hand is one of
the most important Instruments in p"-
litlcal warfare. II i called tn, Patent
Grahhrr, and is the, only thing know II
that VIII successfully extract money
from the Treasury. SO tenacious Is it,
Trlp that what once gets into it j. got
ten out toy Il" other power than the iron
way. has laid :" long lu>ting III the cold
cellars of Indifference that il has lost
nearly all its weight. Now and then
some live editor gets hold of ii and
cracks a few skulls. and that's all
These are noble gloves. gentlemen. To-
which nearly every member OF til"
al l,Ir.t L.
have tried them. put this patent
grlbbcr. then. along with the uumhrr
one >pectacles: and | don't ask Won Ia
bid till | have shown y"u something
else. Here il Il splendid brass covering
for the face. Brass is the winning t,a-
ture of the hour. Talent is nothing
brass * everything it has success en-
grarcd III hull lines upon it rlcrN
where. With a good thick covering "t
brass on the face there i nothing in tie
world To hinder Il man from hciu. Just
what he would like to Ice. Talent. e
Mus. ~cnsitINcucsS these will humhl\
take the lowest seat. but brass will push
~ INC hiEII'St l''Iil- illb SLICK ln''lt ~
spite of evcry body. Iuu can't success
fully Z" into anything now ii DAYS With
ont this. put it down with the other
articles, and show You sword. a two
edged sword, see There Is Il pcruli-
arity about this sword. Ont edr, i
blunt ~ Il razor back. Why, Don't
You see. my lnn"Ccnts. with the Sharp
edge the politician strikes for himself.
and with the blunt edge for his comstit-
uents. 80 rapidly does this sword flash
before the public that they can't tell
the sharp from the blunt. The sharp
shows up when II big speech is made IN
favor of right. the blunt when the mem
Der Is Hndroiddbiy absent. Just is the
vote Is taken 81 that wrong might ruin.
tell You. gentlemen. this is a wonder
1Ili sword. he sharp edge is great at
hacking and hewing dead wrongs >trevn
over the great battle fields of the pa>t.
but the blunt edge i laid lightly on
present abuses. The sharp edge. is tor
the caucus. the blunt for the senate.
and he VIII" knows how to use both i
master of the situation any day. Now
! Will lay Political Expectancy. for that
is the maine of the blade. down with fh,
rest of the articles. and show YOU that
beautiful shield. There. gentlemen.
did ever political warrior carry il better /.
Notice the designs upon it In the left
corner is Might with his fool ON the
neck of Right. How suggestive. that i
on the opposite side You see u picture
called Serving the Nation. where the
senators are eating the meat while the
people pick the bones: and this is also
suggestive of much that is and ever will
he true. In the centre is the master
piece OF the age: Fraud. waving a mil
lion dollars. stolen property. in the face
of Justice. and saying What are ,ou
going to do about il ! This. gentlemen.
i Il unique shield. 1t is warranted to
protect the heart from the fear of doing
wrong, and presents IN impossible bar
rler tn good purposes and noble resolves .
No politician can possibly do without
it. and he successful in the warfare of
state. 1t will ward off The bloAs of red .
hot editorials. the thuuder-h bolts of pop
uar Indignation and afford great pro-
lection through the trying ordeal of be .
ing interviewed. Gentlemen. don't