Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-05-15

alive long enough, ne could ma ont
the central seat of each Of the sens
es and motions. Bot unfortunately
for science, the victim died afler
the fortleth puncture, her bfain hxv-
ing boen pierced to the depth Of an
inch and q half.
Clsppines.
Rainy Sundays arc heavens own pun.
ishment to those paniered saints who for
get the text in criticising the new style
on the pleasa mt Sundays since Easter.
A plantive old bachelor says its rather
hard on man that when he has the rep:
utatlon of being an old bear" 1t precludes
him from having chance to hug
Miss Cracker, Of Baraboo, Wis, has
been awarded 81 900 damages for having
been kissed by railroad conductor, not
that she loved kissing less, but money
more. And she is tickled to death, too,
to think that she got both.
"Och" said love sick Hibernian,
"what recreation it is to be dying Of
love! 1t sets the heart aching so delicate
ly there is no taking wink Of sleep tor
the pleasure Of the pain.
You can always tell good church.
man at the theatre by the way he wrink-
les up his face at the man who sits near
him with q cold in his head.
1t was in Ohio. These were his
words: II won't give you cent toward
buying new dress" A lapse Of one
hour. She was fund hanging in the
barn.
A Kalamazoo woman raised to tho
third power Of widowhood has the pho
tographs Of her three departed lords in
agroup, with vigneite of herself in
the center, and underneath is the insorip-
tion, "The Lord will provide"
Oscar Sweet, of Avon will hereafter
be cremationist. He was startled tho
other day, while at work in the woods
by seeing the head of a skeleton peeping
out at him from under . snow drift, and
a hony hand pointing out at him.
Another one of those benefactota Of
the human race has made his appearance
in Worcester, Massachusetts,, with An
invention which he calls "the boys
pocket arrow" There is not much ex.
cite ment about it just at present, but
lively times arc expected as the number
of one-eyed people increase.
Hi! where did you get them trousers?'
asked an Irishman Of q man who hap.
pened Of remarkable short trousers on.
Il got them where they grew" was the
indignant reply. "rhen by my con.
SCIENCE" said Paddy, "you've pulled
them year too soon!''
When her new bonnet comes home.
and doesn't suit her, or when she is suf.
fering from any great grief, true sympaa
thy expresses itself best by letting her
severely alone. No properly educated
female wishes to undergo the inspection
even of familiar acquaintances. with her
eyes looking like infamed rat-holes.
If you are in hurry, never get behind
a couple that are courtlng. They want
to make so much Of each other that they
wouldn't move quick il they were going
10 funeral. Get behind your Jolly mar.
ried folks, who have lots of children at
home, If you want to move flst.-BrooE.
Ign Argus.
Look tidy in the morning, and after
the dinner work is over improve your
toilet, Make it rule Of your daily lifo
to dress up for the afternoon. Four
dress may, or need not be, anything bet.
ter than calico; but, with ribbon, or
some bit of ornament, YOU have an air Of
respect and satisfaction, that invariably
comes of being well dressed.
The Milwaukee papers, when they
speak of the dedication Of the new opera
house, call it the gorgeous event that
Illuminated the dramatic and operatic
horizon Of our city.
A gay young widow said recently to
her jolly little daughter of17, who was
brought up on porridge and exercise in
the Highlands in strong easterly winds,
and was, as consequence, unco' sharp.
Its DER young for you, Annie lassie, to
talk thus O. the trousered sex. When.
you are of my age you will be dreaming
of husband" "Yes, mamma" replied
the Highland lassie, "for the second time.
White kid gloves, even for brides and
grooms, are entirely obsolete. The Il.
vorite aud fashionable colors now are
the most delicate shades of the most del
icate colors, and these are only not white.
but that is all. When twelve hundred
shades Of one single color can be found,
it is needless to attempt to name colors
for the colOrless gloves. ~
North Adams has tailor known for
his keen, pungent wit. Not long since q
well known clergyman called ct his shop
with pair Of pantaloons and asked him
if they could be repaired. The knight Of
the shears unrolled them. held them up
in most artistic manner. carefully az
amlned them, and replied: Yes. yes.
the knees are the best part OF them"
The reverend gentleman saw the joke,
smiled blandly and gracefully bowed him.
self out.
A lady in the country was unwise
enough to fit out her boy Of Eve with
fishing tackle. Soon she heard shout
from the barn yard, and found enc Of her
best hens had swallowed the hook and
was fast winding up the line in her
crop. OF course she was greatly troub-
led, but all the comfort she got from the
young fisherman wd6 this: Don't
worry, mother guess she'll stop when
she gets to the pole"
At o prayer meeting Of colorcd people
in Erie, the decency and good order Of
the meeting being disturbed by . ne
gro named Brown, whose prayers in pub.
lie were only incoherent ravinga the
pastor inquired, "What fool nigga's dat
praying down dar near de doc?" A doz.
en- people replied with one voice, ut
am brudiah Brown sar." ''Den," replied
the pastor, "Bruddah Brown subside, and
let some one pray data better acquainted
wild dc Lord!"
Mrs. johnson, I living uear Louisville,
III, is certainly very particular woman.
On this day week she was lazyabout get
ting up to get her husbands breakfast,
and as q matter Of course, painful though
It was 70 him, he was Obliged to horse.
whip Mrs. johnson. His tender feelings
lacersted beyond all power Of words 70
convey indicated that his duty WAS no
more than half performed BY aimpae
usc ofthe lash itself. and interspereoa
with apropos quotations from 1he Sunday
School text books no vigorously Applied
The handle Of the whip to'the nSa ~
ing form Of his recalcitrant epaqee An4
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