The People's vindicator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1874-1883, 1874-11-14
Test cf Affection.

Test cf Affection.
Mr.. Archibald Stanhope-a groggy
seutimentalist, residing in Buckley
street, Philadelphia-comeived the
narrowing suspicion that his wife was
not as passionately fond of him as a
lady Of good taste should be and to
put the matter to Il fair trial, he hit
on a little stratagem which he put in
practice the other day with the ,c-
suits hereafter to be detailed.
He took suit of clothes and COM
posed an eliigy of himself. by stuff
fling the garments with 4 quantity of
straw, which had lately been dis
charged from an old bed. Having
suspended this figure to rafter in
the garnet bv means of a piece of
clothes line, he ensconced himself be-
hind y pile Of rubbish in the same
garnet to watch the effect.
After a while his little daughter
came up for u skipWng.rope, and
caught glimpse Of the suspended
figure. She ran down tho stairs,
screaming:
"0h, mother, mother, daddy has
hung himself"
snow for it," thought Archibald :;
1--WE shall have touching scene
presently"
."Ilung himself" he heard Mrs. S.
repeat, as she walked leisnrely up
stairs; che hasn't got spirit enough
for such thing, or he wonld have
done it long ago: Well, l believe he
has done it, however," she continued,
as she came in view of Archibald's
straw representative.
"Moll," to the little girl, I think he
ought to be cut down. You had bet
ter go into the kitchen and get a knife,
Emy dear but don't 90 down too fast,
or yon might fall aud hurt yourself.
Stay, I forgot-there's no knife in the
kitchen sharp enough. You can 90
round to Mr.. Homes, the shoemaker /;
hes only two squares off, and ask
him to lend us his pairing knife /; tell
him to whet it q little before he sends
lit. And, Molly, while you are in the
neighbortood, you can call at your
Aunt Snkeys and ask how the baby
is. Aud, Molly, you.can stop at the
grocery shop as you come back and
get a pound Of best moist sugar.
Poor Archyw sighed Mrs. S., when
her daughter had departed, ~ hope
we'll get him down before the vital
sparks extinction these buryings
are very Troublesome, and cost money,
He wanted to pnt an end to himself
too; and think l ought to let hin
have his own way for once in his life
he used to say that was always ;
crossing him. wish he hadn't spoilef
that new clotAes-line--an old rope
might have answered his purpose"
| Here q voice, which sounded likt
that of the supposed suicide, broke
in on Mrs. Stanhops's soliloquy with
"Y0u COMPOUNDED Jezebel, III I've thu
death of your ~ Hz ~
Mrs. S, thinking this must, o.
course, he q ghost|y exclamation, ut
tered a wild scream, and attempted
to escape down the narrow staircase
Archibald, starting from his place o.
concealment, gave chase. Mrs. S
stumbled midway on. the flight o
stairs, and Mr.. S. having just reached
her, and made a grasp At btr ,iishev
ellel hair as it streamel backward
1.-THE amiable partners were precipita
ted to the. bottom together. attn,
Both were rather badly bruised, AMI
the cries of the lady raised the neigh
borhood. Archibald was arrested fl
making a disturbance, and practiclnl
on the tender sensibities Of his wife
He was bonnd over to keep the pcac
on penalty of two hundred and fit.
dollars, when he .jocularly proposes
his suspended effigy as his surety
but he found, to Ills sorrow, "stra,
bail" was not acceptable in that court