The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1874-10-15

/ >
not stand long against contrary deci-
sion of the public at large. should that
be against Mr.. Beecher finally. Ply
mouth Church will have to surrender.
| Youthful Jokes.
In giving geography lessons, down
East, teacher asked a boy what State
he lived in. and was amused at the re-
ply, drawled through the boys nose ::
"A state of sin and misery
A little girl at Long Branch having
been kissed by Gen. Grant. remarked
to her mother Immediately afterwards :
81 don't like that man to kiss me. He
smells just like Uncle Frank when he
goes to the closet and drinks something
out of BOTTLE
"A promising youth Of nine summers
in Western Massachusetts recently re-
lieved his over-burdened mind as 70 l.
lows: Lord of love, look down from
above upon US little scholars; for we,
have fool to teach our school and pay
her twenty dollars
Mamma, where do the COWS get.
miika" asked Willie, looking up from
the foaming pan of milk which he had
been intently regarding. "Whcre do
you get your tears!' was the answer.
After thoughtful silence he again
broke out, Mamma, do the COWS have
to be spanked!'
Now, then, Joseph, parse court
ing, said teacher to rather slow
boy. ''Courtin' is an irregular, active,
transltive verb. indicative mode, present
tense. third person and singular num-
Der. and so on, said Joseph. "Well,
but what does it agree with p de-
manded the teacher. "It agrees with
all the gals in town y triumphantly ex-
claimed Joseph.
"A Boston lawyer sends this:
Twenty years ago, just after was adj
mitted to the bar in Maine, called one
evening on the young lady who has
since become my wife. l made
friends with her little brother Addie.
and when he ran out of the room [
heard him ask his mother, confidenti-
ally, Mamma, do you think angels
wings are strong enough to carry law
yers to heaven 2 The good woman's.
answer was lost in the Hush, dear =
but in the battle of life since then the
question has come back more than
once"
The late Hon. Sam. Galloway, of
Columbus. o., was remarkably home
ly man. On one occasion, while dining
with personal and political friend in
Chllicothe, the six or seven.year-old
daughter of his host, who had been in
tently studying Galloway's face, said,
loud enough to be heard by all at the
table:
''Ma, didn't that mans mamma love
children mighty well!'
''Why so. my dear - asked her
mother.
"Oh, just cause she raised him!''
The little boy who attended the
theatre last evening will know more
about it in the course of time. At the
end of one of the acts he noticed the
large number Of men who went out.
Turning to his father, he said: "PA.
you wont 60 home until it's out, will
yon z" ono, Johnny" said the pater-
nal; "those men amt going home,
either. Johnny wants to know where
they did 60.
The other day one ragged little fell
low promenading the street where it
was crowded with lady shoppers
thoughtfully remarked to another rag
ged little fellow: "Thesc ere gals have
got another new fashion-they only
wear one earring now" Every femi--
nine within hearing Immediately raised
her ears, supposing she had lost one of
her ornaments.
A fond mother having occasion to
reprove little five-year-old boy for
some act Of disohedience, told him if he
repeated the offence she should have to
punish him for it. "WouId YOU
strike!' the little fellow asked. eyes
was the reply. "Would you strike me
real hard e again inquired the little
sinner. 81 am afraid I ghould have
to. was the reply of the mother. The
little fellow, looking up into his
mothers face, said 81 think that
would be too bad. Do you want to 90
to the wicked heaven and be all burnt
up with matches -
Says the indianapolis Journal: In
The absence of a teacher last Sunday.
Superintendent Knippenberg of the
Garden Baptist Sunday school. took
charge of the class himself-some six
bright boys. Indirectly he had occa--
sion to speak of two roads, one leading
to heaven and one to hell, and stated
that God had placed the Bible in our
hands to direct US to the right road, and
to warn US from walking in the road
which leads to ruin. The superinten-
dent wishing to illustrate the finger
board, asked the boys:
"Boys, have you ever been in the
country!'
Eyes, sir"
"Did you ever come to a point where
two roads met, and found no finger
boord RI Iiroof ro,,7ss