Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1874-11-19
VARIETIES.

Here IS what Chaucer says:
What is better than gold? Jasper.
What is better than Jasper? Wis
dom.
man.
What is better than Woman? moth
ing.
What is only gossip about a man
,s scandal against a woman.
uWhen l put my foot down I'll
have Won to understand, said Mrs.
Noioker, "that there's something
there" On investigation, it was
found to be No. II shoe.
~ wonder if it's sickness that
makes sailors always a heaving up
anchorsr' exclaimed Aunt Hepzi-
bah as she looked thoughtfully up
from her paper.
sis that your offspring, madam?
asked a Missouri judge of woman
who had hold of stub-nosed boys
hand. "No, SIR" she replied, "this
is my eldest boy"
A wag, in "what he knows about
farming" gives very good plan to
remove widows weeds. He says
good looking man has only to say
.sWilt thou" and they wilt.
Milton, the blind author, was one
day asked by friend of female ed
ucation, if he did not intend to in
struct his daughter in the different
languages, "No, sir" replied Milton,
"one tongue is sufficient for wo-
man."
"My dear" said wife to her hus-
band, ado you know what is the
most curious thing in the world?"
.Yes madam" grutiy answered the
brute, "the most curious thing in the
world is a woman that is not cur
ious."
.tWrite me while 1 am away" said
Jones to Mrs. Jones, after an affec-
tionate good-by. "Treacherous
man." meditated Mrs. Jones, "Not
one letter does he get. He wants to
sdl them to one of those western
papers,"
one reason why female telegraph
operators are not more numerous IS
because If one of them wanted to go
to ball she'd get up and go, even
if the Presidents message was COM
ing over the wires.
An Illinois girl drugged her faith
er and mother the other night when
she expected her lover, who is deaf
and talks in loud voice, and it was
forty eight hours before the doctor
could bring the old folks out of it.
"Mother." said little shaver, the
other day." ~ known what l would
do if / was at sea, and the men were
all starving, and they should draw
lots to see who should be killed and
eaten, and it should be me-Id
Jump into the water" "But," SAID
the mother, they would fish you up"
"Ah! but I wouldn't bite!'
The Chippewa Indians of Leech
Lake, Mimi, recently sent delega-
ton across the Missouri to have
little fun with the Sioux boys, but
left half dozen scalps in the hands
of their entertainers, together with
the bodies and breeches pertaining
to them. And now they are hold
ing a grand war-dance preparatory
to a repetition of the fun.
The latest illustrious convert to
the Roman Church is a crowned
head-the Queen dowager OF Bav-
aria. She is first cousin OF the
German Emperor, and was married
to the late King Maximilian IL. on
Bavaria in 1912. Her husband died
in 1864, and during his life, though
a Roman Catholic, she remained
Lutheran Protestant. Ten years al
ter his death she has chosen to adopt
his creed. She is forty-nine years
old, and her son is The most erralc
sovereign in Europe.
The most economical Governor IN
the Union is the Governor OF WIS
consin. The Chief Justice OF that
Commonwealth rendered decision
some weeks ago in the railroad case,
which was thought the most impor-
tant decision that was ever rendered
in that State. But the Governor SEM
a message to the Chief Justice re-
questing him to cut down his opin-
ion to about one-third or one-haii
it's present length, because 1t Will
cost too much to print it.
The prize cup won at Creedmoof
by John Rigby is on exhibition IN
New York. The cup weighs loo
ounces, and is of tasteful design.
The bowl of the cup, which is OF
frosted silver, is supported by a
Doric column, in bas-relief, are re-
presentations of Creedmoor range
and butts, and rifie-men in the act OF
firing. At the foot Of the column
are the figures of an Indian warrior
and a white man, each rifle IN MS
grasp.