The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-04-24

OF some fifteen months. In one dlmPled
fist was tightly clenched the brush
which had SO neatly arranged the moth
er's braids, while the other was en-
gagged in pounding the grandmother's
best bonnet into shapeless mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed
except the baby. The ladies knew they
were untidy, and I that was an intru-
der. As for the learned father, he stood
now on one leg and now on the other,
while he shifted the waste-paper basket
from hand to hand and continued to
smile almost as perseveringly as his
amlable offspring. Yet it was he who
at last put an end to our awkward posi-
ton by expressing wild desire to have
my opinion of the new curtain in his
study. Rather sheepishly said good
by to the lady of the house, trying to
express by my eyes that I would never
call again unannounced. I knew that
Mrs. Hanway had not forgiven me as I
humb1y took the two fingers that she
offered and / felt like brute as the
most important member of the family
condescended to leave damp spot by
the edge of my left whisker.
When, however, I had been swept
downstairs by my impulsive friend,
and was alone with him in his den, my
courage returned, and with it some in
dignation. / confronted him, and stern
| ly asked why had not been told he was
father? "Not been told?" he echoed;
edo you mean to say that you did not
know about the baby ?" "Not so much
as that it was" replied, gloomily. He
was overwhelmed of course he had
supposed that everybody knew it from
the queen downwards. OF course fifty
people ought to have told me, who of
course had told me everything else. At
last my curiosity got the better of my
indignation, and / cut short his apollo
gies by beginning my questions ''Does
the shape of its head content you ?" l
asked. "The shape of whose what 2"
cried the philosopher, apparently too
surprised for grammar. " OF the baby's
head, of course" replied tartly 81
merely wish to know if the child is
likely to be as intellectual as you
hoped" "Isn't the hair lovely ?" he
asked, inconsistently. This was too
much, and assuming my severest man
ner, / delivered myself in this wise SCI
thought, though no doubt 1 was wrong,
that the use of baby to you would be
partly to furnish you with raw material
for philosopher, partly to enable you,
by constant observation, to gain further
evidence on such vexed questions as
whether the infant gathers its ideas of
space by feeling about. whether it is
conscious of itself, etc." "Well," he
said, laughing, 81 don't expect much
help from my infant in these matters,
unless can get inside her and think her
thoughts" "Her thoughts ?" cried /,
in amazement "you don't mean to say
it's girl? Good gracious! you are not
going to educate female philosopher ?"
He looked rather vexed. "Of course
it's girl" he said. "The father of
female philosopher" gasped. "Dear
me % he said, somewhat testify "isn't
it enough to be the father of noble
woman?"
Now, I have often put up with great
deal from my learned friend, and am
quite aware that have been spoken of
as "Bozzy" behind my back. But there
is turning point. even for the worm,
and nobody will sit forever at the feet
which are constantly kicking him. I
had been snubbed more than once by
this illogical parent, and, assuming my
most sarcastic manner, I inquired with |
an appearance of Difference is it not |
rather early to speak of your daughter
as a noble woman ?"
ANOO az niAS St1ANA Jl41OSODuOTs
had kept aloof from the philosopher |
for some weeks, nursing my wrath, like |
Achilles, / said to myself-cross as a |
bear, overheard my landlady say in |
the passage-when I received hasty |
motto Begging me to come to him at |
once. fancied myself summoned to a |
council of chiefs so, having donned |
my shining armor, left my tent with |
fitting dignity, and descended with a |
clang into the plain. Yet could not
but be aware of my landlady's eye
piercing me through the crack of the |
parlor door purposely left ajar, and of
the hasty Tapping of loose slippers
which told the startled slavey's fight
into the abyss below.
An unusual silence held my friends
house that morning. The door was
opened, before had time to ring, by a
melancholy footman, who, walking be-
fore me with the elaborate delicacy of |
an Agag, noislessly ushered me in the
study. 1t was my lot to be again rooted
to the spot with amazement By the
bookcase in a shaded corner of the
room, with his head bowed low upon
his hands, knelt the philosopher. Here
was long step from the siege of Troy,
from the simple wrath of childlike
hero to the most complex embarrass-
ment of an heir of all the ages. What
should I do? The dismal mental had
fsd to the shades, without word,
without even glance into the room.
If retreated, I left my friend unaided,
and remained ignorant of the cause of
his strange conduct. If I advanced, I
was again the intruder on a scene not
prepared for my inspection. In an ag-
ony of hesitation I fell to brushing my
hat with my elbow; but not finding the
expected relief in the occupation, was
about to desist, when my hat decided
what my head could not, by falling
with a crack on the floor. The effect
was electrical. Without one glance at
the intruder, the philosopher made
grab at the nearest bookshelf, dragged
out volume which had not been touch
ed for half century, and hunted for
nothing in its pages with frantic eager
ness. He was still at it when I stood
over him and noted without wonder that
he held the book upside down; then
with the poorest imitation of surprise
which l have ever seen, he rose and
grasped my hand. 'You found me on
the track of something, he said "I
was looking it out in-in-"
Here it occurred to him that he did
uOG KNOW JIG udulo OF Gno V6QeraUl6
tome which he had so rudely disturbed,
and with heightened color and sud
den change of manner he turned quick
ly to me and said, My child is i'll" I
felt positively guilty. had been an
CRY with that baby for making my wise
friend foolish, for not being a boy, for
being called "noble woman" Was
it not shameful that a great hulking
brute should sneer at weak thing that
could not answer with a taunt? Were
not my clumsy sarcasms enough to
crush so delicate plant? The poor lit
tie "noble woman" was in danger, and
could do nothing to help her. There
were tears in the eyes which had looked
into mine for comfort, but had moth
ing ready to say.
'I could not stand being alone" he
muttered, after a short silence I" the
doctor is with her now, and in mo-
ment may hear that my little daugh-
ter muslin fact may hear the worst"
While he was speaking, seemed TO
have fifty consoling remarks to offer
but when he stopped, no one sentence
would disengage itself from the rest.