Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1874-01-08
Why is an old coat like an iron
kettlef Because it represents hard

ware. - ai--c
Gentlemen's collars appear to be
increasing in size, to keep pace with
the ruffies ofthe ladies'" sI s-e
There never was a time when the
newspapers made SO much ''bustle"
as of late, and yet, they do not seem
to be getting very much behind.
The President and family, with
the remains of Mr.. Dent, left India
nanpolis last Friday evening for St.
Louis.
A Vermont newspaper announces
that its minimum charge for a first
class marriage notice will be fifteen
pounds of dried apples. Notices
with poetry" will cost more.
A:Big Indian, strayed away from
his camp and got lost. Inquiring
the way back, he was asked, "Indian
lost?" "No," said he; disdainful,
"Indian not lost; wig-wam lost"
striking his breast; "Indian here"
An English judge has decided that
thread manufacturers who mark
a2OO yards" on spools having but
40 yards are guilty Of no offense il
they ship the spools to America.
'tCan't we ship them another load
of wooden hams and nutmegsI'
b..
"There is one good thing about
babies" says late traveller; "they
never change. We have girls of the
period, men of the world; but the
baby is the same self possessed, fear
less, Laughing, ,voracioas little heath
en- in all ages and in all countries"
The company raised for the con-
quest of Cuba at Augusta, Ga, was
very strongly officered. 1t consis-
ted of thirteen generals, seven coll
onels, four captains, nineteen pay
masters, twenty-seven quartermas-
ters, and one private. .u--.U 81
The omission of comma has fire.
quently given very awkward turn
to sentence. We remember an epi-
taph which suffered severely from
such an oversight. 1t ran pretty
much as follows: Erected to the
memory of John Phillips, accidental
ly shot as mark of affection by his
brother. .- -f f..--r-
r. W. Ingle, express messenger,
while walking from the junction to
the depot of the Lansing and Sagi-
nav road, at Owosso, Mich, Thurs
day night, was knocked down and
robbed of 81 900. He was found in
sensible on the track. There is no
clue to the robbers. i-1 haf.-
Woman suffrage is declining in
England. The liberal party origi-
nally supported the movement; but
it is found that, so far, the women
who have voted on the basis of pro-
perty qualifications, develop into full
grown Tories as surely as the polly
wog becomes a frog. d.
A part of the Company of young
Japanese who have been studying at
Ann Arbor have been summoned
home. 1t seems probable that the
financial embarrassment of the Mix
ado's government may render neces
sary still further curtailment of the
liberal sppropriatiins for education
al purposes
Think of fattening hogs on figs.
Why, 1t almost makes an Israelite
break his VOW agaist pork. Califor-
mia papers advise greater cultivation
of the fig tree because the food is 50
good for hog feed. An acre of figs
will fatten more hogs than will an
acre of corn. ett.s lE.
An Alabama editor thirsting for
subscribers has adopted singular
expedient. Instead of offering as
premiums chromos and that sort Of
rubbish, he promises to name his
new baby after the patron who pays
his subscription for the longest time
in advance. s
Excited wife, to her husband
"Do you not admit that woman has
8 missionY" .u -.
Cool husband d:-"Yes my deal, she
has-sub mission"
Great confusion In the domestic
circle, and the husband calls Oh the
family surgeon for a plaster for his
head wounded by accidentally hit
ting it against the edge of an open
door" ~. ..-
A Bachelor sea captain who was
remarking the other day that he
wanted good chief officer, and was
promptly informed by lady present
that she had no objection to serve as
his first mate. He took the hint and
the lady. s-..- g.
"Mike, why don't you fire at those
ducks, boy-don't you see you have
got the whole flock before your
gunP'
81 know 1 haye; but when 1 get
good aim at one, two or three others
will swim right up between it and
me-"
A man named Derby was found
frozen to death in the Cuyahoga
Valley, Dec. 80. He is supposed to
have been caught in drunken fit.
He was formerly prominent citi-
zen and contractor on public i'm
provements, but had fallen through
drink. .-....
Boston lays claim to being lite
ary center, and if its pretentions are
allowed, valuable information on
authors and books may be expected
from that quarter. Hence We are
not surprised to find common the
ory respecting Whittier's name cor
rected by the Advertiser. The name
of j. S. Whittier Is prefxed to the
latest production of the Quaker po'
ct that has been produced in its col
umns.
A Connecticut man, while eating
fish. got bone in his throat, which
irritated and panied him excessive
|ly. For forty EIGHT hours he faste,',
in the hope that the bone would
leave the threat, but it did not. A
friend suggested that he should
swallow an egg. He tried the ex-
ao6 falt tho hone move he