The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1874-03-25

ter battery than that IN New Orleans"
-@N9>-
We are sorry to learn that Ger
man chemist has succeeded In making
q first.rate brandy out of sawdust. We
are friend of the temperance move
ment and we want it to succeed, but
what chance will it have when man
can take rip saw and go out and get
drunk with fence rail? What is the
use of a prohibitory liquor law, if
man is able to make brandy smashes
out of the shingles on the roof, or if
he can get dslirium tremens by drink
ing the legs of his kitchen chairs? You
may shut an inebriate out of a gin
shop, and keep him away from tav-
erns, but if he can become uproarious
on boiled sawdust, and dessicated win
dow sills, any effort at reform must
necessarily be failure. 1t will be
wise, therefore, iftemperance societies
will butcher the German chemist be-
for he goes any further. His receipt
ought not to be made public. He
should be stuffed with distilled board
yards until he perishes with mania a
potu.
A noted hunter fears that he has
been the victim of "sell." He has a
gun that scatters shot badly, so that
it is not Of much account. A while
ago he saw an advertisement in q city
paper, offering to send information
whereby such scattering Of shot could
be effectually prevented, on receipt of
fifty cents. He sent the money and in
due time was informed that to prevent
his gun from scattering" he should
"put in only one shot," 2 l-t
A Nebraska journal invitingly says
"Who says farmers cannot get rich in
this state? fifteen years ago young
man came to this State without a dol.
lar in the world. Last week he went
out of the State, carrying with him the
sum Of one dollar and thirty eight
cent?, the savings of fifteen years of
frugal life. Come West, young man,
come West"
A fannel-cheeked lawyer of Bucy-
rus led off in temperance meeting,
stating that he had seen his own father
killed at his side by the carelessness of
q drunken man. "Then," said he, 81
took a solemn oath never to drink
again, and since that time have never
broke that oath, at least not very mach :"
The Journal says there was roar.
A Detroit lunatic recently stole a
baby from its cradle while its mother
was absent for a moment, and carried
his plunder in triumph to his friends.
They, however, saw no cause for rejoic.
ing, and bribed him with dollar to
show them where he had stolen it from
and carry it back.
The Rev. Lyman Beecher's salary
seventy years ago was $500 per annum
and 6rewood. His son Henry Ward
Beecher, receives $4,000 year. But
then he has to buy his firewood, and
that ought to be taken into considera-
tion.
A Gentleman in Missouri drew all
his money out of the bank during the
late panic and put il nobody knows
where. Then he died suddenly, and
his heirs are wildly prospecting in all
sorts of probable and improbable pla-
ces,
A Connecticut man had an oyster
roast the other night, and on opening
one of the bivalves found about one
hundred pearls in the shell, some OF
which would have been of large value
if not spoiled in roasting.
One of the members Of the Chicago
common council has served in that body
for two years and has never had a
black eye. He refers to the fact with
pardonable pride.
An Ohio woman lately travelled on
one ticket with four trunks. two baud
boxes, n Aower-pot, lunch basket
paper sack full of peaches, and boy
of fifteen, whose age she gave as nine
It is said that when a Chicago girl
quarrels with her lover, she inform;
her friends that "she isn't on squeez
ing terms with that fraud any more.
An old woman in Illinois has for.
Warded ten cents to Washington tc
pay her share of the national debt be
fore she dies.
A Wisconsin man bribed his SOL
with a counterfeit s5 bill to take a
duee of castor oil