Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1874-12-31
FEMININETlES.

A Frenchman intending to com
pliment a young lady by calling
her gentle lamb, said: " She is
one mutton as is small"
A Young woman at Trenton, who
was sleeping with her feet hanging
out of the window, was struck by
Lightning and almost torn to pieces.
The other Trenton women have
taken their feet in.
"See," said the sorrowing wife.
chow peaceful the cat and dog
are" Yes" said the petulant
husband, "but just tie them to-
gether and see how the fur Will
fly"
A Connecticut gentleman was
recently introduced to a newly
married man, Congratulated him
warmly. and said : All, these
Litchfield county girls make clever
wives; I've had three of them.
The high-toned young woman
who danced with Alexis when he
was in this country, will be glad to
hear that the young man is well.
He has ordered another barrel of
American beans.
Our esteemed friend, Mrs Nal
aprop, has no patience with the
people who want women to have
votes. She declares that, for her
self. her nerves would never bear
the shock of having anything to do
with the electrical franchise.
Worcester "Press': Six and
a half feet of bride stood before
the altar in a Paris church the
other day and promised to love,
cherish and obey three feet and a
quarter of bridegroom; and that is
the long and short of it.
"There was an old family fuel
between him., was what a witness
in Chicago murder case said to
the jury. The judge asked her if
she didn't mean feud?" and she
asked him who was telling the
story.
A female lecturer in California,
speaking in behalf of her sex, says:
Mans pleasures would never suit
us, and his profits We have. We
allow him enough to dress respect
ably, and to take him to lectures
and other intellectual circuses; but
the bulk of his income we appro-
pirate. y
An energetic lady in Olwein,
Iowa. lafnents her inability to vote:
Why, if | were man, she said
recently, I'd go the polls if | had
to be laid on feather-bed, placed
on stone-boat, and hauled by a
blind OK with one leg broken, but
I'd vote But what's the use OF
talking? Men are men when they
amt swine, and can't be driven. y
\ pathetic appeal: " Mamma,
shall you let me go to Wilkinsons
ball, if they give one this winter?
mo, darling - IA pause. you've
been to a great many balls, haven't
YOU, mamma ?" . Yes, darling
and I've seen the folly of them
all" Another pause. "Mightnt
| Just see the folly of one, mann
ma?" "a very long pause
1t is related that an old French
Countess of the exquisite polite
ness, was about to breathe her last,
when she received a call from an
acquaintance ignorant of her NOR
tai illness. The answer sent down
from the chamber of the departing
sufferer was memorably unique :
1.-The Countess de Rouen sends
her compliments to Madame de
Calias, but begs to be excused, as
she is engaged in dying.
Our Women Rights women are
looking for the ungallant naturalist
who says that the male mosquito
lives a short, idle life, doing little
harm. and subsisting upon the
sweets gathered from flowers, hav-
ing a dainty preference for lllles,
in whose creamy, petaled bell he
pensively swings. The female is
the noisy, aggressive sex, and
makes a life a burden to those un-
fortunate mortals encOuntering her
She stings them and "brags" about
it. and. not content with her own
evil career, every month deposits
one hundred eggs in some cool,
damp place, thus multiplying and
perpetuating her kind.
TuAT was a beautiful idea in the