davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Wine Proverbs.

l. In elmo UeritaS.
2. A heart for wine is heart for
kindness.
3. A real wine drinker laughs with
his eyes.
4. Beware of the wine vault, .facitis
descensus Averni.
8. Burgundy smiles, hook winks,
champagne laughs.
6. Port for the people, claret for the
gentry, burgundy for princes.
7. Good wine should drink smooth
like liquified velvet.
8. Love stole its purple light from the
wine cup.
8. Cupid and champagne exchange
many glance.
10. OF wine and love the first taste is
best no second sip equals it.
IL. The bottle is of the aristocracy ;
treat it like gentleman.
II. The Caliban of wine is port, the
Ariel champagne.
ID. The bottle is the most voluptuous
of assassins.
IA. The religion of wine is Catholic.
Is. Value wine like women-for ma
turity not age.
16. Whisper 70 gallantries at the ia
BILE till the champagne has gone round.
II. Wine wit is the souls rainbow.
Is. Wine and youth are fire upon
fire.
10. Good wine is milk for the ages.
90 Wine is turn coat, first friend
then an enemy.
p. Wine of the second bottle is 6
bad story-teller.
%. The drunkards fault is not the
wines, but his own.
"a Your stomach is your wine cellar
keep the stock small and good.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
A Granger's Dream.

The Lanark Gazette, staunch Gran.
ger paper, publishes the following which
is too good to be lost
A Granger dreamed that he died he
went straight to the spirit-world he
knocked at the gate of the New Jeru-
salem and it was opened unto him. The
books were opened he was asked, "did
you ever belong to any secret societies."
to which he replied, CT did. To the
Changers. Then, sir, you cannot be
admitted, depart" He then went to the
door of the bottomless pit, where the
same questions were again asked him
by the Devil, and again he was told to
depart. After he had gone little way
off he was accosted by the homely ruler
of the pit, when the following PROPOSE
tons were made: I" Stranger said Nick,
"I will not admit you here they do
not want you in Heaven but L will sell
you two hundred barrels of birthstone
for cash, ten per cent. Of, and you can
start little hell of your own, with no
agents or middle-men."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
The Great Clock of Eternity"

A Washington lecturer Gays that the
earth's orbit has been widening ont for
20, 900 years past, and will continue to
do so for 1000 years to come. 1t will
then begin to contract, and will con-
tinue to do so for $4,000. The eccen-
tricity of Mercury has been steadily in
creasing for the last 100, 900 years, but has
now nearly attained its limit. In about
5000 years it will begin to diminish,
and will continue to do so for more than
100000 years. The orbits of the plan
cts must go on oscillating in this man
ner as long as the laws of nature remain
unchanged, forming what French
writer has called "great clocks of etes-
nifty, which beat ages as ours beat Sec
onds."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

taste is very good indeed, and neither
mamma nor myself had much fear for
the result but we did feel little fut-
ter of curiosity as to how Ted would
look in his new hat, as reds features
are not at all handsome indeed, L
heard some one remark the other day
that "Ted's profile was enough to make
one shout" His nose is such defiant
little pug and then the freckles they
are everywhere dotting his face all over.
However, though Ted isn't bit of
beauty, his physique is splendid. /
think his being so strong and we'll adds
to his strength of thought and will, for
Ted is what, in man or woman, we would
call strong minded.
Ted wasn't gone long; he came in
carrying his brown paper parcel with
very much the air Of young prince
carrying his future crown. Dear, dear!
if you could have seen it 1t was pur-
pie and white mixed straw, with blue
ribbon band, and metal velocipede
with metal boy astride on one side !;
and Ted had selected it himself from
dozen prettier and more stylish hats.
Mamma protested against the incon-
gruous combination of colors and bad
style of the hat generally, and thought
it had better be returned and exchanged
but when Ted's upper lip began to
culver, and the tears he had kept out
of his eyes showed themselves in his
voice, mamma began to relent.
So for months Ted has worn his ugly
little hat. and think during that time
we have all grown to like it-perhaps
because it has been so constantly asso-
ciated with our boy, for seldom has the
busy, bobbing head been without it's
straw covering.
Ted has taken great pride in the hat,
and think he always will so long as
the "velos," as he terms it, retains its
original brightness for, though the
straw has grown shabby and the ribbon
band rusty, the metal boy is as bright
as ever, and is still riding round and
round the crown of Ted's hat.-Heartt
and Home.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

A BEoaAR weighing 235 pounds was
in town Saturday.
FORTUNATELY for the poor the circus
season sets in unusually early this
year.
If stick of wood is too long for the
stove, kick it few times with your
heel. Then take it out and saw it of.
A SLAwsoN funeral was postponed
one day to enable the friends and rela-
tives to attend the "Black Crook"
matinee.
Mr.. CoBLEIGH left off his fannels
Thursday, and on Friday morning he
quietly said to his wife, enid. Coblaid,
ged by uddergloads dabgwick ]"
THERE is no place which will present
in the coming summer the attraction Of
Danbury to city boarders who value a
good nights rest. Glover, on White
street, has cut up forty thousand
pounds of sausage meat this last
winter.
ONE of the best preserved of the GUS
toms handed down to us by our ances-
tors is burning strawbedding in the
back yard. A few fresh bones in the
heap imparts an aroma that no one can
describe, although many of the neigh
bors will try to.
AS Mr.. CHEsTERFIELD, the author of
GA Letter Writer" is dead, we have
thought best to give to the many
readers of the NeVs a popular form of
letter. 1t should be written about six
weeks after the letter which it answers
is received, and should run as follows
DANBURY, Conn.,, etc.
DEAR FRIEND: Your letter was duly re-
ceived and / was real glad to hear from you.
/ ought to have answered it before, but i
have had 80 much to do / couldn't get at it.
There is nothing going on here. We are al
well as usual. 1t has been very stormy in the
past week but it is quite pleasant now. but it
looks like rain again. hope you are all well
But must bring this scrawl to a close to
catch the mail Give our love to the folks
and write soon. Yours, etc.
This letter never fails to give the full
est satisfaction to the receiver.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Horrible.

There is always great deal of sport
in Washington at the .faur pas made by
new members of Congress and their
families, who are unused to the de-
mands of fashionable life. Fancy the
horror of the diplomats who were
guests at a recent state dinner at the
White House at seeing the wives of sew
eral Congressman present in black
dresses with high corsages. "Oh," ex-
claimed an appalled, diplomat after
ward, cit was horrible. Such dis
respect to the President and his wife I"
-NeW York Graphic.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Pith and Point.

AFFECTING sight-Barrels in tiers.
A BAD policy-One that has expired.
How TO prevent fts-Buy ready
made boots.
A SIGN of the times-Signing another
mans name.
ONE way to get out of a scrape-Let
your beard grow.
SMIEKINs looked at a painting of a
pig and pleasantly asked, "Who is that
pigment for 2
A YOUNG husband handed his wife q
dozen buttons the other ola, and asked
her to put shirt on them.
A NEW JERSEY farmers last words
we're "I'll bet 80 John'n forget to
grease that Democrat wagon.
A LITTLE girl of eight or ten summers,
being asked what dust was, replied that
il was mud with the Juice squeezed out.
The more the merrier is an axiom that
is agreed to as clever, yet the suspicion
that Othello entertained OF Desdemona's
faithlessness to him did not make the
Moor the merrier.
WHEN a Western member of Congress
recently alluded so feelingly to the
hayseed in his hair" and the "oats
in his throat" why didn't he complete
the diagnosis by speaking of the rye in
his stomach?
"SIR," said the astonished landlady
to traveller who had sent his cup for
be very fond of coffee" eyes, madam,
| 4 l. IL II IL
have drunk SO much water to get
little"
A GENIUS was explaining the utility
of an India rubber ship he was invent
ing, when an old salt exclaimed "No,
no it will never do !; an India rubber
ship would rub out all the lines of lati-
tude and longitude, to say nothing Of
the equator.
The brigand composition has got out
to Kansas. The editor wrote, "A big
hearted, valiant soul" He was de-
lighted the next day on seeing it in the
paper, GA red-headed, malignant mule. I"
An emaciated compositor was seen leav-
ing town in hurry, with an Infatuated
editor armed with orse-pistol bring
ing up the rear.
SECOND WASHINGTON.
"Dear! dear who broke my favorite egg?"
Cried Biddy Bantam TO her daughter;
"Some lazy cur, too proud to beg,
Has mashed it-and he hadn't ought ter"
The child gave one pathetic craw
Her rueful tears began to thicken
She sobbed aloud, " broke ii, ma
This little person is my chicken.
Some albumen and lime III buy,
And make another one to match it
Oh, ma l cannot tell a lie
did il with my little hatch it."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
BE Kind.

Rob Reed was good boy. He was
kind to all. No dog or cat was hurt by
him. No bird, or mouse, or little fly,
need fear him.
A dove fell down at his feet one day.
He did not wish TO hurt it, but, rs lie
saw it did not fly, he took it in his hand.
He said, CT will take care of it till it is
we'll" He put it in box, on some
soft hay, and fed it with bread and corn.
The dove got well and grew quite tame.
Fred Flagg was not like Rob. 1t was
well for all weak things if they kept out
of Fred's way. He pinched the dogs
ears, and pulled the cats tail.
One day he put small kitten on n
board, and set it on pond to float off
and die. The pond was mile long.
The poor kit lay down and mewed in
great fear. But Fred did not care. He
let it go, and It was soon out of sight
God took care of the kitten. He made
the wind push the board far down to the
end of the pond, near the house where
Rob lived. Rob was near the shore, and
heard the kitten NEW. He took long
pole and drew the board to the shore.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
THE LITTLE FOLKS.

Little sue ON the Woman Question.
Me and Dolly, Jack and Polly,
Been TO take a walk
Me and Polly felt real joly
Dolly couldn't talk
Jack was baadest, he was maddest
Boy ever seed,
Cause Nurse Mary wouldn't carry
His welocopede.
We ruined races In nice places
Going through the park.
Jack was naughty mamma, ought he
Made Polls doggie bark?
wee, wee grille, hair all curly
Such pretty dress
Lone was walkin'; nurse was talkin'
To her beau, guess.
Puff jumped at her; how il scarf her?
Down she fell, mos dead,
Cause Jack said S-s-take her thought
'twould break her
Pity little head.
'Twant Puff mamma, cause Polls gramma
Said he'd never bite.
He's so cunning, he's just funning,
He sought il was right.
What's the reason boys is teasin'
All the time 10 girls?
Like Uncle Harry, / shall marry
Some nice girl with curls.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
LOVE, DRINK, AND DEBT.

Son OF mine the world before you
Spreads thousand secret snsres
Round tho feet of every mortal
Who through life's long highway fares.
Three especial, let me warn you,
Are by every traveller met
Three, to try your might OF virtue
They are Love and Drink and Debt.
Love, my boy, there's no escaping,
'Tis the common fate Of men
Father had IL; l have had 1t;
But for love you had not been.
Take your chances, but be cautious;
Know squad is not dove;
BE the upright man of honor
All deceit doth murder love.
As for drink, avoid IL wholly;
Like au adder il will sting;
Crush the earliest temptation,
Handle not the dangerous thing,
See the wrecks OF men around us
Once as fair and pure AZ you
Mark the warming! Shun the pathway,
And the hell they're totterisg through.
Yet though love be pure and gentle,
And from drink you may be free,
With a yearning heart warn you
'Gainst the worst of all the three
Many a demon in his journey
BunyaA's Christian Pilgrim met;
They were lambs, cen Old Apollyon,
To the awful demon Debt
With quaking heart and face abashed
The wretched debtor goes
He starts at shadows, lest they be
The shades of men he owes.
Down silent streets he firitive steals,
the face of man to shun,
He shivers Mt the postman's ring,
And fears the dreadful dun.
Beware of Debt Once in, you'll be
slave for evermore;
If credit tempt you, thunder "No!"
And show il to the door.
Cold water and u crust of bread
May be the best you'll get
Accept them like man, and swear
'TH nerer run ia Debt ~
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
What Did Paul Say!

Many years ago there lived in Vir-
ginia Baptist preacher named B.
Though uneducated he was sound
thinker and eloquent speaker, and no
minister had more devoted flock. 1t
was the custom during the inclement
season, to hold meetings at the residen-
ces of the members, and once or twice,
during the winter, at the house of the
preacher. For years it was observed
that B. neither preached nor conducted
the meeting when held at his house, but
secured the services of a neighboring
minister. He was often pressed for an
explanation, without success; but finally
in response to the opportunities of some
of his flock, he gave the following:
"When was younger than / am now
in fact, not long after the commence
ment of my ministration-I held q
meeting at nay own house. 1t being
customary for many of the congrega-
ton to remain for dinner, Mrs. B. sent
our negro boy Tim to our neighbor
Pauls for butter. Tim returned and
located himself, standing on one foot at
time in the outskirts of the congrega-
ton. Being well warmed up in my SER
mon, thinking neither of Tim nor his
errands, but only of the most success
full mode of pressing home my strong
est arguments, demanded with all the
energy in my power, "And what did
Paul say ?'' Tim at the top of his little
squeaking voice, exclaimed, as Tim only
could have done, He said you
couldn't get any more until You paid for
what you got -
"This brought down the house, and
cut short one of the first efforts of my
early ministry. Since then, have kept
my preaching disconnected from my do
nestle affairs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
10 CORREsPONDENTs.

All communications for this paper should be ac-
companied by the name OF the author; not neces-
sarily for publication, but as an evidence OF good
faith ON the part of the writer Write only on one
side OF the paper BE particularly CAREFUL IN CIV
ing names and dates 20 have the letters and hgures
plain and distinct.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

The other day hog entered lady's
yard upon observing keen.looklng
cur, it remarked in its own peculiar dia-
lect /" If don't get out of this yard
pretty soon, I'll be logged y
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

ROMAN gold is the rage. The new
earrings are solid blocks of gold and
the initials or monogram is stamped on
one side.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

AMONG the ingredients of love
potion of the Greeks were the bones OF
toads and snakes, portion of the fore.
head of q newborn foal, the feathers of
a night-hawk, the blood of doves. bones
torn from the mouths of famished dogs,
and the strands of rope with which a
man had hanged himself. We have i'm
proved upon all that to-day, says
Chicago paper. A box of candy con-
tains the complete essence, and is war
ranted to produce more love and tooth
ache in given space of time than all
the potions of the ancients put together.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Tcd's Hat.

Teddie had gone out with papa to
select straw hat. 1t was to be his
best hat during the season, as papa's
finances would not admit of many
changes. Mamma had suggested lit
tie round hat of fine white straw, as
that would look well with his pretty
sailor suit of blue, in which we all
thought he looked so nice. Papa's
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Little Kitty.

David almost lost his way. He came
from school through the woods. 1t was
new home, and David had not learned
all the turns and openings yet. There
was little path through the woods ;
but it had been showing all day, and the
path was covered with snow. The sun
was setting and the moon was rising.
David got bewildered. "He got
turned" he said, and could not find his
way home. He called, but nobody an
swered. He shouted as loud as he
could, but was only answered by the
echo. He called again, Father, IA
ther!" Presently he heard feeble
voice near him crying "Mew, NEW,
new He turned round and there was
his little kitty.
She heard Eer young masters voice in
the woods, and, remembering his kind
ness, ran a long way through the snow
to find him. David took up pretty pus-
sy, andfoDowiug its footmarks, soon saw
bright light shining through the
kitchen window. If David had
amused himself by tormenting and
frightening the kitty, you may be sure
it would have run the other way
ChiId's World.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17
Grammatical Vuigarisms.

Children should learn to speak cor
rectly while they are children, for it
will be hard to correct wrong habits
when they become older. Macy persons
who have smattering of French, and
even of Latin, too, are known to make
bad blunders in their English, because
they never learned to correct themselves
when they were young.
The other day little girl asked "will
you go to-morrer The answer was,
81 dunno" How much better to pro-
nounce the words correctly, and say to-
mOTroW and don't knoW. Never say,
sech fine apples but such fine apples.
Jest as HUe is another improper express
sion. You should say, just as lief
And do not say amt. There is no
such word as amt in the English Ian
guage. You should say I'm not, or ii
isn't.
L heard boy say, :" never saw sech
tigers. That was very bad pronunci-
alton. Another said, 81 can holter
louder than you but a bright little
fellow replied, CT don't think L can
hotter at all, though / can haiioo so as
to be heard quarter of mile"
NOW, cu1uren, ny uuiu w Speuh pIoP
erly, and never use such words as
these
To-morrer, Amt,
Dunno, Holler,
Sech, Figgers.
There is one mistake that almost
everybody makes in saying "he don't.
1t is well enough to say Il DON'T" OF
"they don't" but it should be, che
doesn't. "-Methodist.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-04-17

A BEooAR weighing 235 pounds was
in town Saturday.
FORTUNATELY for the poor the circus
season sets in unusually early this
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1873-1875, 1874-10-28
WHAT'S IN A DREAM?
Death OF the Late Bishop Lee.

A private letter printed in Boston
paper relates the following curious cir.
cumstance in connection with the death
of the late Bishop Lee, of Iowa:
eve have been very anxious the last
two weeks over the illness of Bishop
Lee, which terminated in his death on
Saturday morning. The whole COM
munity are saddened by the event. Two
months ago he got up IN the night and
took bath, and on returning to his
room he made mistake and stepped off
a long fight of stairs and landed at the
foot with tremendous crash, as he was
very heavy, weighing over two hundred
pounds. It aroused the whole family,
and Mrs. Lee and Carrie sprang from
their beds, and lighted each candle.
went to see what had happened, and
found the Bishop lying on the floor of
the entry. He got up, however, with
out aid, and seemed to have received no
injury except a fewslight bruises, though
his right hand was little lamed.
Mr.. H. and myself called on him two
days after, and while telling us Of the
of the fall he mentioned
this coincidence: He had letter in his
hand which he had just received from
his son Henry, living at Kansas City.
His son wrote: Are you wellY for last
night had dream which troubles me.
l heard crash. and, standing up, said
to my wife, did you hear that crash? I
dreamed that father had a fall and was
dead.' Igot up and looked at my watch,
and it was Q o'clock. l could not sleep
again, so vivid was the dream And it
made him anxious to hear from home.
The Bp. said he was not superstitious,
but he thought it remarkable that Henry
should have had the dream at the very
hour of the same night that the acci-
dent occurred. The difference IN the
time here and there is just fifteen min
utes, and it was quarter past two by
bis watch, making it at the same mo-
ment. 1t was as if he had actually
heard the fall. And the fall finally
caused the Bishops death. His hand
became intensely painful, and gangrene
set in, which, after two weeks of suffer-
ing, terminated his life. We are none
Of us Spiritualists, as you know, but
surely facts like these must go far to
make us realize that there is basis of
truth for their hypothesis of spiritual
faculties resident in man. How did
Henry Lee become cognizant of the ac-
cident Of his father?" ... .sn
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1873-1875, 1874-10-28
RIVER NEWS.

The Western left for below Sunday
She returned Saturday from Fort Peck.
Had a very pleasant trip and made a
quick and successful one. She brought
down twenty-seven passengers most of
whom went on to St. Louis.
The Fontenelle and May Lowry hav-
ing discharged their cargo's at Fort
Peck are expected down every day; the
Silver Lake arrived yesterday morning
and left for Yankton yesterday.
The Peninah leaves to-day for st.
Louis. She has been engaged some
days in transferring freight to Lincoln
and Rice, earning for her owners many
ducats. Capt. Paul Murphy, her gal
liant commander, is one of the best
steamboat men on the river, and leaves
many friends here who hope to see him
return next season with the Peninah
reconstructed, or in command Of the
new boat which Commodore Kountz
will put afoat. E. S. Smith, the genial
clerk of the Peninah, also deserves
we'll of his employers. .......~.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1873-1875, 1874-10-28
1L1uK HILLS VIEWS.

These views comprise some Of the
most beautiful scenery to be found on
the American Continent. The Hills.
situated as they; are in Latitude a,
abound in rugged grandeur; on the
south.ea sides the limestone walls, and
granite pinacles, rising to the enormous
height Of s, ,se5 feet, and enclosing the
Hills in such manner as to- make 1t
almost impossible 10 penetrate the in
terror with conveyances, there being
But two openings on the east side and
three on. the west. The north may be
considered the best route and when at
the highest elevation, you wind your
way in almost any direction, through
lie beautiful fertile valleys and the de-
ljghtful parks, the latter looking more
Ike being attended and cultivated, than
I Wild and uncivilized region; magniti-
Seent & trees, rich grass lands, extending
|. fo. miles. The gold was found on the
south and north side Of, and in the vi-i
,cinjty Of Harney,s Peak. The gold re- re-
eion extends about hfty miles squsre,
amid scenery enchantingly grand, and
for mineral wealth no Territory can