davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
AN ABSENT MINDED MINISTERIAL fun

AN ABSENT MINDED MINISTER. "A fun
ny mistake occurred the other day through
the forgetfulness of a distinguished clergy
man of this city. The cards were out for
a wedding to take place at his church. The
day the hour. and the bridal party arrived,
the church was filed with invited guests,
but the officiating clergyman was no where
to be seen. The impatient bride and
groom waited for half an hour; the bride
began to feel a supeTstitious dread of she
knew not what the groom, strong-mind-
ed, only felt annoyance. What was to be
done Patience had ceased to be virtue.
AT last clergyman of another denomina-
ton, who was sitting among the guests,
was observed. He was sent for, and kind
ly consented to perform the ceremony. The
knot was tied to the satisfaction of all par
ties, and the fee handed over to the minis
ter who had proven such great benefac-
tor. The money, however he sent to the
clergyman who was to have performed the
ceremony, with this note: This is an egg
found in your nest. As l didn't cackle-
ate upon it, send it back to you.' The
reason of the absence Of the engaged cler-
gyman was very simple one-he had for
gotten all about the appointment.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
Select poetrp.
BIRDS BY MN WINDOW.

Sweet birds that by my window sing,
Or sail around on careless wing,
Beseech We, lend your carolling
While salute my darling.
She's far from me, away, away,
Across the hills, beyond the bay,
But still my heart goes night and day
To meet and greet my darling.
Brown wren from out whose swelling throat
Unstinted joys of music float,
Come lend to me thy own June note,
To warble to my darling.
Sweet dove, thy tender, love-lorn COO
Melts pensively the orchard through,
Grant me thy gentle voice to woo,
And l shall win my darling.
Lark, ever leal to dawn of day,
Pause ere thou wingst thy skyward way
Pause, and bestew one quivering lay,
One anthem for my darling.
Ah, mocker, rich and leafy June,
Thoul't grant, know, one little boon,
One strain of thy most matchless tune,
To solace my darling.
Bright choir, your peerless song shall stir
The rapturous chords of love in her;
But who shall be our messenger,
When we salute 4y darling.
Oh, noiceless swallow, crown of spring,
Lend US awhile thy swift curved wing;
Straight as an arrow thou shalt bring
This greeting to my darling. lGGlar,
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
A Few Good Reasons:

IA new invention thoroughly tested and Sc
cured by Letters Patent.
2.--Makes perfect Lock Stitch, alike on both
sides, on all kinds of goods.
3.-Runs light, smooth, noiseless and rapid
but combination of qualities.
4.-Durable-runsf for years without repairs.
5.-Will do all varieties of work and fancy
stitching in superior manner.
6.-Is most easily managed by the operator.
Length of stitch may be altered while running,
and machine cad be threaded without passing
thread through holes.
design Simple, Ingenious, Elegant, FORM
ing the stitch without the use of cog wheel gears,
rotary cams or lever arms. Has the Automatic
Drop Feed, which insures uniform length OF
stitch at any speed. Has our new thread con-
troller, which allows easy movement of needle
bar ard prevents injury to thread.
S.-Construction most careful and finished. 1t
is manufactured by the most skillful and ex-
pericnced mechanics, at the celebrated Reming-
ton Armory, lion, N. n. Philadelphia Office,
$40 Chestnut street. may1, ,1S74.-2m.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19

We last year imported wool fabrice to
amount of $62, 1864, ,5SS. And this, too, in
the face of the high import duty on foreign
wool and wooen goods.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
Rat es of Advertising.

fearly ADVERTISEMENTS payable qarterly-Trans1ent
advertisements must be paid before insertion, except
where parties have accounts.
Local notices twenty cents line and ten cents for
every subsequent insertion.
Cards in the Business Directory" column $500 per
year for the first two lines and 81 90 for each additional
limo
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
CHEAPMUSIC
For Aduanced Piano For singers and young
Players. Ptdn,Sts.

Il tttycio
Pianists desiring good mu.
sic at "A low price should
send 80 cents for a copy OF
"I.A CREME DE LA CREME y
Every number contains
from 81 to s. worth OF good
music by such authors as
Heller, List, voss, Kuhe,
etc.
Published monthly, 30 cts.
Ger number: "a a year.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19

Send 10 cents for Peters
Musical Monthly, and you
will get s. worth of New
Music. Every number con-
tains 4 to 8 songs, and 4 or
b instrumental pieces by
such authors as Hays, Stew
art, Thompson, Danks
Kinkel, etc.
| Published monthly, 80 cts.
per number, IS per year.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
Business Saros.

ANTHRACITE COALl
VALENTINE DIETZ, Wholesale and
v Retail dealer in every variety of
ANTHRACITE COAL, UPPER WHARF,
SUNBURY, PENN'A.
All kinds of Grain taken in exchange for Coal.
Orders solicited and filed promptly. Orders left
at s. +. Nevn's Confectionery Store, on Third
treet, will receive prompt attention, and money
receptedfor, the same as at the Office.
DENTISTRY.
GEORGE NJ. REM,
la SlmpsOa'S Building, Market Square,
SUNBURY, Pa,
4 prepared to do all kinds of work pertaining
Il to Dentistry. He keeps constantly on hand
a large assortment of Teeth, and other Dental
material, from which he will be able to select,
and meet the wants of his customers.
All work warranted to give satisfaction, or else
the money refunded.
The very best Mouth Wash and Tooth-Powders
kept on hand.
His references are the numerous patrons for
whom he has worked for the last twelve years.
Sunbury, April 81, 1872.
GOAL! COAL! COAL!-GRANTB BROS,
~ Shippers and Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
WHITE AND RED ASH COAL, SUNBURY, PA.
CLOVER wHARF.)
Orders will receive prompt attention.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19

reflect that a sound mind and body are the most
necessary requisites to promote connubial happi-
ness Indeed without these, the journey through
life becomes weary pilgrimagei the prospect
hourly darkcns to the view the mind becomes
shadowed with despair and filled with the melan-
eholy reelection, that the happiness of another
becomes bliChted with our own.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19

Member Of the Royal College Of Surgeons, Lon
don, Graduated from one Of the most eminent
Colleges in the United States, and the greater
part of whose ife has been spent in the hospitals
of London, Pris, Philadelphia and elsewhere,
has effected some OF the most astonishing cures
that were ever known many troubled with ring
ing in the head and ears when asleep, great
nervousness, being alarmed at sudden sounds,
bashfllness, with frequent blushing, attended
sometimes with arrangement of mind, were cured
immediately.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
THE B~R1cKLAYKE

"Ho, to the top OF the towering wall ss-
IT'S the master-mason's ralls ing call
ITO the scafolding, boys, now merTily climb ;
IT'S seven O'Clock BY The town bells chimet
BRING TO your work good muscle and Drawn
And a keen, quick eye VIII re the line is drawn
Out with your saw tempered blades Of steel!
Smoothe- than gloss from point to he'll
Now, stead AID Gle r from turret and port,
Ring out ) our challenge, Mort o mort !"
"Clink ! clink trowel and bri K!
Music with labor add art combine -
Brick > pom brick, lay the a up quick
But lay TO the line. boys, lay TO the line !"
CHEEKY a. crickets all the day long
tightening lshor with laugh and song
Busy as bees upon angie and pier
= ling the red blocks Tier upon tier -
Climbing and climbing still nearer he sum-
Prouder than kings # tn work they have done
Upward and upward the bricklayers 20,
Till men are bat p gmias below
While tn mast .r'sOrder falls ringing and short
To rhe staggering carrier, Mort o mort"'
"C.ink. clink! irOwel ard brick!
Music with labor and art combine -
Brics upon brick. lay them up quick,
But lay to the line, boys, lay to the line. +"
Who are the peers Of the best in the land
Worthy meath arches of honor TO ST nd q?
They OF the brick-reddened, mortar-stained
palms,
With shoulders of giants and siuewy srms,
Builders # cities and builders of homes
Proppirg the sky up with spir-s and domes -
Writing thereon wi h their trowles and lime
LEGENDS OF toll for the eyes of Time
So that the ages may read as they run,
A that their maJlcal might have done!
So clink. elinki trOwel a d brick!
Work by the masters word and sign -
"Brick upon brick lay them up quick
But lay To ihel ne, boys. lay to the line "
|iG. b rnes n Scribner's for May.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
IMPIETIES.

There is nothing good or bad but
thinking makes it so. In Nevada
chicken fights are held for the bene-
fit of the church.
The dead Elder Knapp firmly be-
lieved i'm a personal devil, who
walked the earth i'm the form of a
Universalist minister, Or an editor.
A land agent in Colorado remark
ed to an inquiring emigrant, that
all that was needed to make the
place a paradise was a comfortable
climate, water, and good society.
''That is all that is lacking in HI"
was the reply.
Preceptor-sNow, can any of you
tell me anything remarkable in the
life of Moses ?" Boy-"Yes, sir,
He was the only man who broke all
the Commandments at once :"
An a~uctioneer In Burlington, VT,
got a bid of 373 cents for an elegant
family Bible. "What is the trou-
BILE with this town." said he. A
wag responded. esquire don't you
know that this city has just gone
Democratic?!"
A London advertisement runs
thus: "a country priest will say
mass once a week for any one who
will send him the Times newspaper
second hand, on the day of its pub
lication."
And old lady who had insisted
on her minister's praying for rain
had her cabbages cut up a hail
storm, and on viewing the wreck
remarked that she "never knew him
to undertake anything without over
doing the matter.
During a sermon in the chapel of
the Georgia state prision, $50 con-
victs struck up: "We'll all get
stone drunk" and they had to be
marched down stairs. They didn't
like the chaplain.
A New Hampshire lady died re-
Gently after having read the Bible
through thirty-four times. After
this terrible example it is hardly
necessary to warn readers not to
read the Bible through but thirty
three times, ifthey would live long
in the land.
A Chinaman followed some bows
who had been throwing some stones
at him, into one of the Salem, Ore
gon, churches, last Sunday, exclaim-
"Whassee matter you? Too
muchee d-n foolee." The staidest
of the members smole a smile, and
even the preacher in his pulpit
wunk a little wink"
"That boy has the material in
him for a valuable member of a
church choir" said wilkins, when
tickled the back of his sisters
neck with a broom-straw during
prayers.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
The testimony in the Johnston

The testimony in the Johnston
Banner Treasury contest is, as
everybody will rejoice to know,
finally closed. The manuscript of
the Notaries would have been yes
terday submitted to President Glib
son, and a special meeting of the
Council at once called to consider it,
had not the discovery of Mayor
Chase left the Council in a bondless
condition. That body cannot do
business until Tuesday evening, its
next regular meeting.-Herdtd.
Is it not about time for the
Bourbon Organ to cease this sense
less twaddle about the "bonded"
City Council? Such claptrap may
serv the purpose of covering the
tracks of political demagogues, but
everybody c~onversant with our City
Charter knows that Conncilmen are
not required to give bonds. The
only bonded member of that body
is the President, and his bonds are
merely to cover the possibilities of
his acting Mayor pro tenn. The
editor of the Herald had better
purchase a copy of the City Charter
for sale at the BEE ofice-price
fifty cents-invarably in advance.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
A Jewish Wonder Worker.

Graft, a town in the Grand Duchy
of Posen, has for some time past be-
come famous as another of the many
spots to which pilgrimage are I'M
dertaken. The peculiar feature,
however, of this shrine is, that the
great point of attraction is a Jew,
and the pilgrims within the walls
of Graft belong exclusively TO the
Jewish confession. This Jew is an
old Rabbi, and hundreds of Jews
visit him from the aforementioned
Grand Duchy, from Gallicia, from
Russian Poland, in fact, from every
direction round about where the
twelve tribes are represented. A
looker-on might be made to believe
that he is at the place where the
Holy Mother of Kevlaar is carrying
on her wonder-works, il there were
not certain infaIlible marks at hand
that the mother of God enjoys but
poor credit among these pilgrims.
The sick and suffering throng in
multitudes to this woodworking
Rabbi, named Gutmacher, who en-
tirely and alone performs these Won
ders by the laying ON of hands, and
mumbling some Hebrew prayers
and sentences from the Talmud.
Here he is seen curing a swelling
on the eye, in another instance, he
restores to a dyspeptic a sound di-
gestion, i'm short, our Rabbi, Gut
macher, is a perfect man of Won
ders. Nay, we have heard even of
q case where a physician of Posen
sent his wife to the Rabbi at Graft,
knowing full well that her entire
sufferings were nothing more than
hypochondriac whims, when, Won
der upon wonder! the physicians
wife, the "nadldde imGgindire,"
went home perfectly cured. The
most remarkable feature of these
proceedings is that he
will receive no kind of compensa-
ton for his miraculous cures. On
the contrary, he has even requested
the police to rid him of the immense
of visitors. But, consid-
ering the Patriarchal condition of
prevailing in this place, the
refused to accede to this his
unpatriotic demand. He was told
that he ought to be glad to be the
means of inviting so many stran-
to his native town. He has per-
sisted In refusing any kind of e
ward, and merely a collection box
the words "For Jerusalem"
upon it Is put up in his room.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
EDUCATIONAL T

There are 600 pupils in the State
Normal School at Normal, Ill.
The difficulty between the lower
classes and the faculty of the Michi-
gan University is not settled.
BY a sensible regulation Balti-
more girls must be IL years old be-
fore they can enter the high schools
of that city.
Alpheus Crosby, of Dartmouth
College, and said to have been the
greatest Greek scholar in America,
has died, aged 10.
A girl only - years of age, be-
longing in Wapello, Iowa. has
passed an examination before the
county superintendent of schools,
and has received a license to teach.
All the examinations for admis-
sion TO Harvard College will be con-
conducted in writing after this year.
The Normal School of the Dakota
Mission at Santee Agency has had
a prosperous winter session, not
withstanding the dark days last
fall, when its doors were closed, and
many of its pupils removed beyond
the power Of earthly training by the
small poX. The following has been
the attendance during the term of
thirteen weeks, closed March 20:
AT the young mems boarding hall,
10; i'm girls home IA; attending on
day school, So; others attending
night school, Il; Others attending
only debating society, Is. Total in
attendance, IS. The Young Mems
Debating Society has a membership
of over thirty. Near the close of
the term they had a public debate,
Saturday afternoon, with four
speakers on a side. Quite academic!
The annual report of the Michi-
gan State Superintendent of Schools
show that the number of children in
the State between the ages of 5 and
20 years is APO, SO, of whom 306, $50
have attended school. Besides these
there have been 1858 in attendance
who are under 5 or over 20 years of
age. The total value OF the school
houses and lots is. SS,093, 1853, and
5,5G3 school houses were built last
year. The average wages per
month were, males S61. 80; females,
S27.13.
A correspondent who writes to
the Sioux City Journal from the
Agricultural College of Kansas
"The student Is taught to
hold the pillow, to drive, to yoke the
harness the mules, feed the
milk the Jerseys, clean out
and keep the stables neat, to make
and repair agricultural implements, |
and gets a smattering of printing,
biography, pharmacy, harness.
making, blacksmithing, and carp
enting. Girls are taught sewing
and dressmaking and fitting; also,
q thorough knowledge of sewing
machines, and it is designed to
teach cooking, washing and IRON
how to keep house, &c"
A Connecticut school-teacher in q
paper recently read before teachers
institute suggests that a pupil of
ZACH sex be placed at the same desk
md allowed to assist each other in
heir lessons, and at the end of each
permitted to select new part
hers if they desire. 1t was claimed
here would be lets trouble in gov
a school, more tidiness in
he pupils appearance, and greater
.ase in conversation and intercourse
which would be of much advantage
When they became men and women.
t was affirmed that where the ex-
,eriment has been tried, 1t has been
Ittended with success.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

THE bloody and murderous phase
Of the Guberuatorial War i'm Ar
kansas would seem to call for some
thing more than mere passive neu-
trality on the part of the Federal
Government. As long as the bellig-
erent claimants were contented
with mere buster it was a matter
of supreme indifference who was in
or out of the State Capitol. Now
that the armed forces acting under
Baxter and Brooks have inaugura-
ted bloody hostilities the time for
active Intervention seems to US has
arrived. 1t is evident that Baxter
Is unwilling to abide by the de-
cision of the State courts and
Brooks does not propose to recog-
nize the authority of the Legisla-
ture. Both show a defamation to
fight it out on that line if it takes all
summer. 1t would be barbarous to
affiict the people of Arkansas with
interninable b~utcheries and outlaw
ry, when it is within the power of
the President to terminate the strug-
gle by recognizing one or the other
of the claimants as the rightful
Governor. We apprehend such ac-
ton cannot long be deferred.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

TIE Washington Chronicle int;-
mates that the present system of
sham civil service reform, will re-
ceive q death blow when the House
comes to vote on the appropriation
required to carry it through. We
apprehend the country will not go
into mourning if this prediction
shall be verified. Civil service
reform is very desirable, pro-
viding it could be impartially
carried out upon all classes of en-
ployees in the public service. Our
observations have convinced us that
the present mode of its enforcement
has converted it into an engine of
oppression, and tyranical red tape,
to torture treasury clerks, mail
agents, and others, who do not hap
pen to be the special pets, or plant
tools of incompetent or corrupt SUI
periors.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

THE telegraph informs us that
"Colonel Thomas A. Scott of the
Pennsylvania Central railroad, Van
derbilt of the New York Central,
Mccullough of the Baltimore and
Ohio railroad, and President Wat
sen of the Erie, have just had a con-
ference on the subject of passen-
ger and freight rates between the
west and east, and how to do away
with the present competition for
business"
How tenderly these four Ameri-
can Railway Kings do are for their
dear subjects, the American people,
to be sure. Just now when the cry
Of "cheap transportation" resounds
throughout the land, it is exceeding
ly gratifying to know that a confer
ence to do away with competition
has been held by the Railway auto
Gratis.
With the fruits of the "Iowa
pool" before US, 1t will not be diff
cult to anticipate the benefits that
will accrue to the people Of the
East and West by the foreshadowed
holy alliance of the four great pow
ers.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

No more land-grabs. The House
Committee on public lands has
decided to report adversely upon all
the bills before them granting lands
to railroads. The principal objec-
ton to further land subsidies is the
present method of speculation in
railroad lands. If the railroad COM
panies could be restricted in the dis
position of their lands to fair prices
and bond.fde settlers, who would
take not over $50 acres of land, and
who would settle upon and improve
it, then there would be more DISPOSE
ton on the part of Congress to
place the land in their keeping by
liberal IMMIGRANTS. But the present
method is known to be inimical to
the interests of settlers and the
Government.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
SCHOOL CALLED

Don't you hear tie children coming,
Coming into school?
Don't you hear The mater drumming
Tn the window with is rule?
Master drumming, children coming
Into school?
Tio-toed figures reach the catch,
I ny fingers re ch the lat b
Cur y-headed girls III. ong in
Lily rec frvm toll and si1.
Breezy bows Dol in together,
Bringing breaths OF winter weather,
Bringing baskets Indian-checked,
Dime S in them badly wrecked.
Ruddy-handed, mitiens off,
Sol rush from the Malakoff-
Puil. Of snow and m trhle white,
B 5 ions shining in the light,
Marked wi b many a DIM and dot
OF the ice-cold C .nnon shot!
Hear the last assault ne ,houti
5 . the gunners r lily O t.
Charge upon the b.ttered door
School is called and battle .'eri
BENZ. F.. Taylor 7; The Dis .rict School
Scribnri's for Nav.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

THE subsidized organs of Boss
Tweed never exhibited more brace
ness in defending the ballot-stufing
games of their master fan does the
organ of that honorable (?) young
man who is convicted Of seeking to
retain his hold upon our City Treas
ury by fraud and corruption.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

PEOPLE who wear elght-inch
hats and pride themselves upon
their ''heavy brains" will be
shocked to learn that ponderous
brains are no longer to be accepted
as evidences of high intellectual
and moral qualities. One of the
most british and beastly criminals
Of the present age was Joseph
Waltz, whose execution transpired
ut Hudson, n. Y, Friday.
A post mortem examination over
the body of this assassin was held
by six resident physicians of Hud-
son, and the astounding fact was
developed that Waltze's brain
weighed ffty-four ounces, or half
an ounce more than that of Daniel
Webster, and fourteen ounces more
than the average brain of human
beings.
All the organs of this man were
In q healthy condition, and the
physicians could discover no symp-
toms of insanity, or any abnormal
condition of the cerebral organ.
This extraordinary phenomenon is
p be further investigated by medi-
experts at Albany.
Ris remarkable case shall teach
who have the s'bighead"
de themselves too much
natural gifts, it will not
n its beneficial lessons.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
NOTICE.

On and after October twenty-nrst, 1872, the
city circulation of the DAILY BEE is assumed
BY Mr.. Edwin Davis, to whose order all sub
scriptions not paid at the Office will be payable.
and by whom all receipts for subscriptions will
be countersigned.
E. RoSEWATER. Publisher
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04
+

ALL ANNOUNCEMENTS OF candidates for Office
whether made by self or friends, and
whether Is notices or communications TO the
Editor, are until nominations are made)
simply personal, and viii be charged as sd-
vertisements-
All Communications should be addressed to
z ROSEwATER, Editor and Publisher, Draw
r III.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-04

The Southern Hotel is frst-clsss In all its
ap: ointments. Is tables are at all times sup
Piled in the greatest abundance, with all the
employees are all polite and attentive to the
wants of the gu SITS Of the hotel. There is an
improved eieva or leading from the first door
to tie upper one, Railroad and steamboat
ticket Offices, news stsnd. and western dnion
Telegraph OH e In the Retanda of hotel.