American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-09-12
CURRENT ITEMS.
I OTED Quacks-DuckS.

DEBT grows bigger the more you con-
| tract it.
AN era unknown to womcn-The mid
die ages.
BREAD is the staff of life-the want of
| 1.-THE starvc.
| They have found worm in Pcnnsyl-
| vania that borcS through the hardest
rock.
OBSERVE with what tender reverence
an undertaken gaZes upon IL load of water
melons.
IT makes big difference when lady
| faints away whether you battle her tenn
pies with camphor or molasses.
IT is getting to be an interesting ques-
ton how near to no time at all IA horse is
| going to be able to trot Il mile in.
| \ DETROIT husband is in trouble for
whipping his wife because the baby did
not take tirst-class prize at baby
show.
| THEY say that the Mississippi mos
| quitocs take out "a mans bones and pick
| them clean if he objects to ordinary
bites.-Bost0n Globe.
| A SALT LAKE lady being asked what
ticket she was going to vote at the late
election replied that she intended to vote
for God and His people"
| ROCKVILLE, Conn, claims TO have Il
man so crooked that, if a broad-aX should
fall upon him perpendicularly, it would
cut him asunder seven times.
A GIRL of sixteen, in Buffalo, has fallen
| so intensely in love with her own broth
er, youth of twenty-three years, that
her parents have sent her out of the
country to Germany.
a SCoTCH minister, when asked wheth
er he was dying, answered: Really,
| | 20 wi he | n =
for if l die | shall be with God, and if l
live God will be with me-"
A ROMEO Mich marksman thinks that
| he has made the most extraordinary shot
on record. He aimed to bring down Il
| woodchuck and chipmunk at one shot,
and brought down spring calf
IT was darling Gweorge" when Il bri-
| dial couple left Omaha; it was dear
| George" at Chicago; at Detroit it was
George" and when they reached Nj
| agara Falls it was Say, you"
\ WOMAN never looks more Inundated
| than when, while sitting on the deck of
| Il steamboat, she becomes Simultaneous
| ly conscious of cinder on her nose and
| the absence of her pocket handkerchief.
VERMONT, after all, is the best State to
| get drowned in. They don't attempt to
rescue you until Il doctor has gone down
in dlvingbell and ascertalned that
your vital spark has ficd.-BrVokly,.
1rgus.
SHE can stand it pretty well once or
twice, but when you spill Il saucer of
| raspberry jam into her lap the third
time things get uncomfortable, and she
works her countenance as If she wasn't
born to be an angel.
A RECENT writer says that a lady may
be known by the tones of her voice. a
coarse, unretincd woman never has Il
smooth, pleasant uttcrancc. The voice
can be cultivated SO that harshness and
roughness will disappear. The trouble
is that most people are careless and SLOW
emily about speaking, and fall into bad
habits.
THE following testimony to the virtues
of Il patent manure was received by It's
owner: Dear Sir-Thc land composing
my farm had hitherto been so poor that
a Scotchman could not get II living of
it, and SO stony that we had to slice our
potatoes and plant them edgeways; but
hearing of your manure | put some on
ten-acre field, surrounded by Il rail fence,
and in the morning | found that the rocks
had entirely disappeared, neat stone
wall cncrclcd the field and the rails were
split into tircwood and piled up systcmat-
ically in my back yard
a CoLoRED man named Charles Crook
died il horrible death at Rivcrhcad on
Tuesday night last. He was Il man OF
prodigious size, and in consequence of Il
great accumulation of fat he had for
some time been hardly able to get about.
For the two weeks preceding his death
he was in a constant, terrible struggle for
breath, the air-passagc being nearly
closed by the increasing fat, and he was
at last literally sutfocated from this
cause. For days and night he was COM
PEELED to remain constantly on his hands
and knees, and this was the only position
in which he could breathe at all, and at
the end even this resort failed him. His
weight was 800 pounds-Neto York IForld.
No DOUBT our young readers would
like to see the performance of dog in
this village. In the family in which the
dog lived the old cat had four kittens.
The dog became greatly attached to the
kittens and put in most of his time play
ing with them, and sometimes was Il little
rough, but not Intentionally so. The cat
and kittens were sent to Il neighbours so
as to get them away from the dog. In
short time doggy was missing; very soon
he returned with kitten in his mouth
Then he went back for the others and
brought them all home. He was very
careful not to hurt the kittens and would
roll them over and over so as to get Il
good hold on them.-1shobuIa (Ohto)
Sentinel.
YESTERDAY forenoon man named
Carter and his wife appeared at the Po-
lice Court he havin" been given by her
to understand that she had applied for Il
warrant for him for refusing to support
his family The Judge began to qucs-
ton him, when the woman interrupted
him to say that her husband was lazy,
good-for- nothing loafer. I'm lazy, am
IT, he roared in reply. Didn't l earn
three shillings last Saturday? Didn't |
bring home half Il peck of potatoes Mon
day? Didn't get half Il pound of but
ter yesterday? Lazy. Great heavens!
Judge, can you 90 for to believe I'm
lazy? Answer me that" His Honor
said he would take the case into consid
cration.-DetroH Free Press.
A BALTIMORE produce firm received
from Ohio, Il few days ago, Il large con
signmcnt of eggs, and in one of the bar
rcls, twelve or fourteen inches below the
chine, was found IL large chicken, which
had been Matched since the eggs were
packed for market. The little fellow
chirped loudly for food when released,
its appetite having no doubt been
strengthened by its tedious journey.
Several other eggs in the vicinity
of the one from which his
chckcnship emerged showed unmis-
taxable signs of animation, and on
being deposited in basket near Il
kitchen each produced Il living chicken
all of which were doing well us
could he expected at last accounts. This
is another eNcmplification of the enter
prise and goahcadativeness of the West.
Mrs JITES of Greasy Point Ill aftpr