The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-05-21
What Occurred to the Dew
beIIys.

MIS-. DeWDerry, Vile OF James DeV
berry, is an exceedingly absent-minC
ed wOman-so absent-minded th,
she sometimes forgets to sew on ht
husbands buttons and mend his sock
although, as Mr.. Dewberry savagel
remarks, (brute that he is y she uevC
seems to forget when she ought [
have new bonnet or gown, or thinh
she ought when he don't, for Mr..
Is man who does not approve of to
much dress for women.
They would get along splendidlN
however, were 1t not for Mrs. Dew
berry's little habit of forgetfulnesl
and the additional fact that she
somewhat deaf.
But just let me tell you what haI
pened at the residence of the DewbeT
ry's the other night, and L feel sur
you will sympathize not only wit
Mr.. Dewberry but with the unfortu
nate Mrs. Dewberry herself.
Like all partially deaf people, Mn
Dewberry is forever laboring unde
the delusion that she hears all descrip
tions Of noises, and happening to wax
up last Thursday night about twelv
O'Clock, became convinced, from sun
dry imaginary sounds, that some on
was breaking into the house. She ss
up in bed and listened with both he
ears, one of which was a little NOR
deaf than the other, and was sure tina
some one was forcing an entranc
through the basement window. Sh
was dreadfully frightened; visions O
masked robbers passed through he
head. So, seizing her sleeping hus
band by the arm, she shook him VIC
leDtly, screaming:
james james, Wake up, say
There's robbers breaking In :"
whats that?n exclaimed Mr.. Dew
berry, starting up and rubbing his as
tonished eyes.
There's band of masked robber
getting in at the basement window p
answered Mrs. Dewberry, in great ex
citement.
"Masked robbers 20 shouted her hus
band; "thuRder and lightnlngI 90 anG
with that he sprang out of bed, anC
snatcbing the night lamp, dashed
down stairs, clad only in his robe d,
aatit.
WhereupOn, Mrs. D., instead o
hanging over the balustrades to looI
after her husband, as any other wo
man would have done, locked the
door, and, jumping into bed, covered
herself, head and all, in the blankets
and, as her husband did not come
as soon as expected, forgot all about
him and fell asleep. Meanwhile, Mr.
Dewberry, in search of the robbers
having armed himself with his cane
crept softly down the basement stairs
and peeped cautiously through the
key-hole of the dining-room door, full
ly expecting to find the room filled
with masked men making off with
the silver.
But no, the apartment was empty
and though he searched every room
and listened at every window and
door he could find no trace of robbers.
They might be down stairs feastine
on the contents of the larder; he had
heard of such things, and acting on
this suggestion he explored the cellal
also, notwithstanding the cold bricks
nearly froZe his bare feet. But there
was no one in the cellar either, unless
they were secreted in the cOal-bin
and Mr.. Dewberry, who, when he did
a thing always die it well, mounted
up on the edge of the bin, and, lamI
in hand, peered down into its grimy
depths. Just a. he had decided thal
there was naught but coal in the bin
gust OF wind from the cellar window
blew out his light, and at the same In
slant Mr.. Dewberry lost his balance
and fell, head-first, into the eOal-bin
1t is unnecessary to state what he sale
when he found himself in that beast.
/ L. ooal In h. Ar,k 10
tainly did look rather peculiar when,
after procuring another light from tbs
kitchen, he gained his bedroom dool
with his night-shirt, face, and hands
blackened with coal-dust.
To his surprise he found the dool
locked. He raped on it with his
knuckles, and pounded on it with his
feet, but Mrs. Dewberry had gone te
sleep with her deafest ear uppermost
and not sound disturbed her peace.
full rest.
"Confound the womanI What an
I to do ?" thought the victimIzed Dew
berry, shivering with the cold. He'd
not stay there all night; that he was
determined. So he shouted and bang
ed and shook the door, until Mrs
Dewberry was aroused at last, anC
called out in q sleepy voice, "Who'i
there ?"
"Who's there, indeed ?" shouted the
irate Mr.. D.; "Why, your husband
woman! And why, in the name o
goodness, don't you unlock this door?'
az haven't locked the door; no suct
thing" vOciferated Mrs. Dewberryi
who had of course entirely forgotten
the circumstance; sand you amt ms
husband either" she continued; 81
don't believe word of it."
"NOt your husband" cried Mr.
Dewberry; "what next, 1 wonder? ]
am your husband? Didn't you send
me to look for robbers that were moi
there, confound it ALL"
"Oh yes," answered Mrs. D., sud.
denly remembering all about it
"Wait moment, Jim, and I'll le; you
in;" and Mrs. Dewberry got out of bee
and began cropping her way across the
floor. There being no light in the
room she hadn't gone half yard be.
fore she put her foot into a small bath
tub that Mr.. ID. had very carelessly
left full of water before retiring.
"Bless me w cried Mrs. Dewberry
"what is that ?" and she turned sud.
denly round, only to catch her foot in
the drugget and come splashing down
/ with both hands in the water.
"What in thunder are you at ?" de
msnded Mr.. Dewberry, outside the
door. ';DO you mean to let me in to-
night"
"Do be patient" gasped Mrs. D.;
'I'm comiug as soon as / get out d
/ Fnfo r.fr 1of 10 ~
"Sea of water,n repeated Mr.. d..
"why, the woman must be dreaming
yet! Will you wake up?" and he be.
gan pounding and knocking again
with redoubled vigor.
"pm coming, I tell you," screamed
Mrs. D.; and feeling around the wal
she soon put her hand on the handle
of the closet door, which supposing il
to be the room door, she unlocked and
opened wide. But as Mr.. Dewberry
was not in the closet he did not come
out, ahd Mrs. ID. perceived nothing
but inky blaekness. Whereupon she
slammed the door TO, and, uttering 8
fearfnl scream, Immediately crawleC
under the bed and went into hyster.
les.
By this time Mr.. Dewberry had
come to the conclusion that the rob.
bers were in his wife's room; SO rush
ing down stairs, he tore open the front
door, and ran out on the pavement,
screaming murder fire thieves and
everything else he could think of, at
the top of his voice. A policeman
happening along, Mr.. D. eollared him
at once, and, telling him an ineoher-
ent story of robbers killing his wife,
frantically led the way to his bedroom
door, where the bysterical sobs OF
Mrs. d. were pitiful to hear.
A few well directed blows from the
policeman's club soon broke open the
door and Mr.. Dewberry rushed in.
"Where are you, Susan p he de.
manded, staring round the room.
"Here, James," answered Mrs. D.,
poking her nightcapped head out OF
the bed, and diving back with q
scream as soon as she caught sight OF
the policeman and soot-begrimed
Dewberry.