The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-09-26
NEW NoR'-WEsTERs.

Eye sciFdutS-OpcCGdGAcS.
Bonner is worth So, ,00O, 900.
If you wished to be praised-diA.
A child of the sea-A harbor buoy.
Flags of all ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
| An indented chin shows thirst for af-
fection.
There is not clean-shaved Governor
in the Union.
The champion grasshopper of Kansas
weighs an ounce.
! -"Laughorisms ~ is the head of col
umn in California paper.
-Barnum sluiced 800, 900 out of the Bos-
tonians with his little hippodrome.
Iron shirt bosoms are fashionable
abroad. They say that Bismarck wears
one.
1t is proposed that men who,are BAD
! headed have their monograms on the bare
spot.
Judge Harrison, the first settler of Kal-
alnazoo county, Michigan, died at the age
of 104, last Sunday. il -s
Talking of oarsmen, John Paul says it
is great thing nowadays to be "a gentle
man and a sculler."
I'm Germany prize amounting to about
$3.50 has been offered for the best hymn in
honor of Prince Bismarck.
! When men grow virtuous in their old
age, they are merely making a sacrifice to
God of the devils leavings.
1T has been beautifully said that "t the
veil which covers the face of futurity was
woven by the hand of mercy"
The Empress Eugene has lately given
SO, O00. towards new Roman Catholic
church near Covent Garden, London.
Never send Off to man, woman Or child
letter which you would not like to read i'll
newspaper some morning at breakfast.
The Pennsylvania Railroad claims the
largest locomotive in the country. 1t has
twelve driving-wheels and weighs seventy
| tons. O.
Adirondack Murray has returned, hav-
ing a boil on his nose, a lame back, sore
eve, and confidence in Beecher's inno-
cence.
The hymns of the late Isaac Watts
have been translated into the language OF
the Choctaws. This is more than he ever
expected.
A negro insisted that his race was men.
toned in the Bible. He said he heard the
preacher read about Niger Demus
wanted to be born again."
Simon Cameron says he isn't going to
resign. There is superstition among
Pennsylvania Democrats that he believes
he isn't going to die, either.
H. M. Stanley will soon leave England
ON his African mission. His body guard
will number 800 men, a large portion Of
whom have served in the navy.
"A Chicago paper says that not one
man in fifty knows how to carry ladder
easily. The best way is for man to carry
the holes and hire boy to carry the rest
of it.
Goldsmith Maid was shod in Spring
field, the other day, and the nails from her
old shoes were carefully preserved for
| watch-charms by those who happened to be
present on the occasion.
"A lodging house fiend tells the story
that, i'll a recent thunderstorm the warning
of the elements was SO awe-inspiring that
the hair in dish of butter in the pantry
turned completely white during the night.
Five million of our fellow-eountrymen
can't read or write. We wonder whether
the census-taker included among these the
indianapolis spade-slinger, who hung out
a sign reading, "Well digen and cellars s''
There is something very sensible re-
mark young lady: If our Maker
thought it wrong for Adam to remain single
| when there was no woman on earth, how
criminally wrong are the old bachelors with
| the world full Of pretty girls"'
-Poetical justice sometimes happens in
the most unexpected ways. A baggage
smasher was recently fooling around an ell
ephant, and the intelligent beast instinct
lively recognized his occupation, and knock
ed the fellow twenty feet with his trunk.
The Salt Lake Tribune says: The as
pirants for Brigham's position say it would
be the height of folly for the Saints to re-
elect him Prophet, Seer and Revelator y
at the October Conference, when they all
know he will expire on the 7th of Decern-
Der of apoplexy.
The Milwaukee Sentinel editorially re-
marks: Just one hundred years ago last
Saturday, occurred the first centennial ami
versary of the first meeting of the centen-
nial congress in Philadelphia. Can it be
that the centennial congress met 200 years
ago, or has beer just got ripe in Milwaukee.
One of the queerest duels on record was
that in which nte-Bueve was engaged.
1t began to rain slightly after he had taken
up his position, whereupon he coolly beld
his umbrella over his head with his left
hand, while holding the pistol with his
right. The expostulation of his witnesses
had no effect upon him. It is all very
I =
well to be killed said the famous essayist,
"but object to catching cold in my head. !"
"Will you help me out of this mud hole?''
asked one traveller, whose team was stuck
in the mud, Of another who was passing.
ssNo, can't STOP said the other. g /
would take it as a great favor" said the
man in trouble. What are you loaded
with ~ asked the traveller. g Drugs and
medicines was the reply. 81 guess !
will try to help you out then, as am load
ed with tombstones.' = They were constant
companions afterwards.
Never was saint millionaire Never
was a millionaire saint. Men who get
rich aim at getting rich. They live fol
that. To this one purpose their thoughts
and their energies are directed. They