The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-12-01
MISCELLANEOUS,

MISCELLANEOUS.
To make telling speech man should
ell something 48Iif if
Ore way to get roaring trade is to
ouy menagerie., I
Jokes about Noah and the food are as
Did as the, ark.
A buriesque actress requires only a
scanty wardrobe: il uIa
A mancanuot expect half a loaf when
he loafs all of the time.
The more honesty q man has, theless
lie affects the air OF saint p
Humility is the sweetest and fairest
flower that growelh in the mind.
Advice to young authors-Make
point to punctuate.
Instead of giving credit where credit
is due, the cash had better be paid:
I, is good thing to be above board,
but generally bad thing to be over
board. ae#-
> As quick as cutting butter with a hot
knife--is a late metaphor for speedy
work.
None are so thoroughly overestima-
ted as those who oyerestimate them
selves
What becomes Of a mans word when
he won't keep il, and no one else will take
it? .......
A Cincinnati man advertises, "Work
is not so much an object IS good wages
If the patient does not recover his
health, ought the physician to recover his
fees?
The only sure cure for seasickness we
know of is TO stay on shore.
Don't tell an editor howto run news
paper. Let the poor fool tine it out him.
self.
"a What is the best way to kill aunts
Fit your uncle's wife on the head with q
hammer. .sa-.s. .5s.1
How many people are busy in this
world gathering together handful of
thorns to sit upon. =
Let friendship creep gently to a height
--if)it rush to il, it may soon run itself
out OF breath. 81 .
Cicero said: "Thc pursuit of all things
should be calm and tranquil" How
about capturing deas? 1am 80
The Indianapolis Journal thinks fune-
rails needless expense, in the prevalence
of body snatchers
How to be generous-think of the tine
when spresent of six cents made you
feel like an Emperor.
! w hat is the use of talking of this
worlds brightness and sunshine to !
man that has tight boots9
1t is almost impossible to state any
trnth strongly without seeming to con
fict with some other truths.
To sit in cold, damp, country depot
two hours, and then miss train is char.
acterized as seated stupidity.
He who has got nothing to do IN thi.
world but amuse himself, has got tn,
hardest job on hand ] know of.-Bil
lngs. @ @ f.r
The Supreme Court of Ohio has jus
decided that sending a dun to lnan OIL
q postal card is uhlawful-as we'll a
saucy. 21 y i..-2'7'F27a
! The three-cornercd tail Of horse -sho,
crab is recommended by the Scientific
American as perfect shaped pen-hold
/ er
Did you ever notice that a borrowe,
umbrella either turns inside out as sool
as opened, or has a hole in the top abou
the size Of 3 pie plate? f.i, gasa
A Minnesota gentleman has found th
shell that took Of his leg in the war, an
now he wants to know if anybody ha
seen leg. Guess not.
i Running temperance candidates il
New York is like rubbing a mans nos
with goose grease to cure him Of con
sumption.
A debating society had under conside
ration the question, "Is it wrong 20 chea
alawyer:" The decision arrived at was
"No but impossible" G.e949 gaia@E3
Subscribers owing US will assist ou
creditors by paying up. We have no pei
sonal interest in the matter, we only fee
for those We owe WhitehaH Times.
To secure leave of absence for yea
with salary continued at tie expense c
the taxpayers Marry the daughter {
the General of the Army.
q "A Terra Haute man, not being able {
| collects bill OF ten dollars against a do,
tor. concluded to take it in physic. H
losta good dea.. (of fesl) by the oper'
tion.
No. young man, no! Never buy a ca
Of oysters unlessit has three Ks on it,
you want frst-class oysters. Two KS Q
can amount to nothing.
The st. Louisan never dies suddenl
He walks around half adozen years, te
!. Hing people about his silver and chewin
F quinine, before crossing the river l'a"
e A man who will go to the cemetel
k with his wife on Sunday and weep ov'
her first husbands grave and walk hon
d without cross word shall have our vo
S every time he comes upfor ollice.-D
Q troit Press.
a "Long-winded' isn't very elegant e
J lrression to use in relation to delivere
of attenuatcd orations. Say that thu
!, are gifted with great continuity of breat
IS and you get at something elegant as W.