The Grange advance., 1874-01-07
EDITORIAL CORRESPONDENCE.

Dead-Head System "played.' .'--Buttonholing
New Members.
a large proportion of the members of
the next legislature came in on the Satur-
day evening trains, and they came like
other men by paying their fare. The dead
head business is played out. Tally another
for reform. dead head legislature is one
that is dead to everything but railroad in
terests. The dead-head ticket had the
wonderful effect Of making men dumb, and
deaf. and blind when the interests of the
people were under consideration, and then
Of suddenly restoring speech, hearing, and
vision, when railroad charters, bonuses,
and rights Of way came up. OF course
there were noble exceptions to this rule,
but everybody we'll knows that the dead
head ticket was given for the purpose Of
effecting favorable legislation, aud for that
purpose only. Let us hope that the doctrine
of the Saducees, who taught that there is
no resurrection, will be true in reference to
the death Of this dead-head business.
BUTToNHoLING.
The beautiful and interesting game of
buttonholing is in full blast The main
features of the game are as follows: Mr..
A., q member from the District
introduces to you Mr.. B., candidate for a
clerkship. Mr.. B. is rejoiced to meet you;
he has heard Of all your wonderful doings
and Of your unlimited influence, and he
frankly admits that that you hold his fate
in your hands. He informs you he is a
poor man of large family, having wife
and fifteen small children. He is always in
debt and cannot possibly be happy until
the government gives him the means Of
paying it up. He never bothers you with
evidences Of his fitness and qualification,
because he knows that is matter Of i'm
portance whatever. He is not Granger,
but all his sympathies are with the farmers.
You then catch glimpse of man you
want to see, and you turn to go. If you
turn suddenly, you find one of your arms
outside of your coat sleeve. This is an in
teresting point in the game, and your tenn
perature probably runs up to about two
hundred degrees, Fahrenheit. Mr.. B. has
anchored you by the old Reliable, Self-ad-
justing, Buttonhole Connection, and de-
sires simply to say further that his politics.
are Of the proper stripe and complexion.
He was one of the original twenty five ab-
'olitionists, and is now an anti-n,onopoly
Republican Of liberal views and wholly un-
Objectionable to any party, Whatever its
principles may be. Sooner or later in the
game you are compelled to; inform him that
he is your man. You are then At liberty to
promenade five steps when another button
hole connection is made, and another prom
ise e1torted. ia: 1lls - ... .:
Right here let me suggest on behalf Of
these poor men Of large families and unob-
jectionable politics, that hereafter every
member provide himself with ! leather
handle, such as are on satchels, and attach
it to his coat. This will afford . better
grip and not injure the finger like but
tonhole does. In fact itwould be we'll to
have two Of these handles. one On the side
Of the coat, aud the other on the coat tail, |
80 that the buttonholsr might. take you on
the wing. :.aa5 @st II 415s@es>' 3cza: Il!
There are only fifteen Of the old
members Of the House' who have
been returned this winter, as follows:
Beard, Hanson, Rice, Williston. Flicker,