The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-12-26
. ETY. EAinsorns;s'r.

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Henry Clay describes, . mule
Ms " at animal that has no pride o'
ancestry and no hope ofposterity.'
They don't bury coIored pco-
ple In Georgia They form dc
fun'ral obs'quics, sab. a-a 4.L
Even the LATEST boy can catch
y licking. s. M
Tho proper salutation when
you meet q writing master is,
"How 10 you hourishT. II
eff 1 bust ont. al,aflln' you
mustn't got mad, mister" il
A father at Dubuque makes
his children address him Ms follows,
for instance :---'Most respected and
reverend father, III take another
tnrter." 'sF14s q W. .4~- v
"A Maryland youth went of to
live in cave like brigand, bnt
he hadn't got his provisions fairly
tucked away before his old dad
dropped in on him aud wore up
half . fence rail driving him home.
AN energetic lady in 'Olwein.
Iowa, laynents her inability to vote.
"Why, II ] wcr0 man, sbe said
recently, "l'l 90 to the polls il !
had to be laid ona. feather bed,
placed on Il store b6nt, and hauled
by a.blind OK with one leg broken,
but IA vote! pnt what's tho use
Of talking m, r, .
Said q Missouri preacher:
""Therc's y powerful sight Of gig
Cling back thar in the corner, and
its got to be stopped, or the Lord
will delegate mo TO open the door
swnh throw some one Outw 1t was
stopped. 4ia e..'
"A tOnd husband boosted to'a
fricnd-"TOm, the old woman came
near calling me honey, last night"
'Did she, Bill ; what did she say 7"
"She said, We'll, Old Bceswax,
come to supper" s1,, Y
His name was Wrath, and
when, he asked his girl to marry
him, slle gave him q soft answer,
and the soft answer TUNED away
Wrath.
"A man whose wife hung herself
In his presence, and being asked
why he did not prevent the tragc
<ly, replied: ~ cut her down three
times last week, and 7 c;,i,'t be al.
ways cutting her down."
AT q recent cattle sale in Par
Is KY, twenty.One sows were sold
ut an average Of 81 1916 q head, and
fourteen bulls ut nn average oil
81 1876. One COW sold for $4,000,
another for 81, 400, and still anoth.
or tor S4,lOO. ~a..,s
Seven hundred kegs of pow
der were exploded in one blast dur
ing some recent mining operations
in California. yaa
-"Deal gently with the 'crring,7
as tho C0ckney said when his tel.
low bOarder evinced a disposition
to eat up all the smoked fish, and
leave him the bones.
Yesterday was windy and it
was u splendid time to settle the
question a. to whether monogram
carriers are worn. But it was just
our TOOL luck to be laid up with
rheumatism.
The Democrats have carried
Massachusetts, defeated Ben But.
Ter, and will have y majority in the
next Congress; but this distress
ing fact is greatly mitigated by the
assurance that tho pumpkin pie
crop is unusually large this season.
"A naughty little boy, BUILDER
ing because his mother wouldn't let
him go down to tho river On the
upon being demolished,
said !: 81 didn't want to 90 Il swim
mln' with 'e,n, mn, only wanted
to 20 down and see the bad little
boys drown for going a swimmiu'
on u Sunday"
Mark Twain, a few months af.
ter his first bay was born, was
holding it on his knee. His wife
said: "Now confess, Samuel, that
you love the child.' III can't do
that" replied the hunorist, "but
am willing to admit that l respect
tho little thing for its fathers
rake"
A young lady at home from
boarding, school for the holidays,
was asked if she would have reastJ
beef, aheu she replied. mo, l T.
thank you; gastronomical safety ,
Admonishes mo that ! have arrived ,
ut the ultimate stage OF drslutition ,
with dietctic integrity y