The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-07-01
The Troubles Of Running a Hash
MILL.

:"About hash2'' When we make
hash We don't, of course, use fresh
meat. Hash is not made in that way.
If it were made of anything except
the scraps that are left, it wouldn't
be hash. Besides, if scraps were not
used, boarders wouldn't believe it
anyhow. That is the logic of hash.
To the scraps hash owes it's variety,
the spice Of hash. I am speaking
freely Of these things, you see, for /
want to make fair statement, not
withstanding the fact of our being so
grossly misrepresented. But l don't
know that you care to have me go on
further with our bill of fare. We
endeavor, so far as we are able, to do
the clean thing with our boarders.
How that mouse happened to be
cooked in the chicken pie that they
made such a fuss about, Pm sure /
don't know. l gave my wife good
scolding for it, and said she ought to
have been more careful and taken the
mouse out before she set the pie on
the table for decent peoplesto eat,
but it did no good then, you see.
So it was with the cat tracks on
the pumpkin pie. We couldn't help
it. You see the pie was brought out
and set on the supper table, and was
not noticed, though the cat tracks
were plain enough to be seen when
that old maid of a boarder pointed
them out Immediately after the min
lister, who was visiting US, had said
grace. That, however, was not the
worst of it. You see the minister
and his wife and the professor came
to see us and take supper, and we
were putting on our best ticks. The
cat track business was a sort Of a
damper, to be sure; but we were try
ing to make up for that, and paid no
attention to the demonstration the
hack driver. tried to get up on &C.
count Of finding a bug in his biscuit,
for in the hurry of putting up meals
such things may happen. 1t was a
little embarrassing, it is true, to have
that hack-driver and the coal-barge
captain enter into a warm debate as
to whether the bug was of the bed OF
potato species, but they both showed
their ignorance of natural history,
and only made fools of themselves.
This is what caused the trouble,
The brakeman and the canal boat
pilot had a quarrel that day at din.
ner, which I noticed the old maid
was anxious to have renewed. The
minister was speaking Of the moral
aspects of the temperance crusade
and the Professor was discussing
with me the topic of the transit Of
Venus. when the old maid observed
to Jim, the brakeman, that Buck, the
pilot had said in her presence that
he had a mind to bust Jim's smeller
The minister insisted that it was &
great and glorious cause, the Profes
sor declared that the Astronomical.
observations to be made would star
tie a scientific world, and Jim, re
marked that he could mash any ca
nal snoozer that ever straddled a rud
der. The minister. continued: "This
noble work reformation -the Pro
fessor added: SIN the whole range
Of telescope vision Buck han
ded jim teacup in the eye; Jim re
sponded with the bread plate, ant
Buck replied with the water pitcher
Then they reached across the table
felt for each other and embraced.
never felt so mortified in my life
AS they were at it in the corner, ou
late peaceful board on top Of them
with it's legs in the air, I declared
was sorry this thing had ever hap
pened, and just at that particula
time, with the company present. A
the moment had net figured up m,
loss, which was forty-nine dollars
without insurance. Added to thi
was the loss of three of my boarders
who went out next morning to loo
out for "a nice private boarding plac
in a quiet family" and in their hurr.
to leave they forgot to square u
with me.-[Cincinnatti Commercial
ENGLISH WOMEN. AN America
lady in London, who has seen to
much or too little of her English sis
tiers, propounds the following conur
drums:
| Why is it til at English wome