Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1874-06-27
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
"LnMBERGER." y"

And he calinlh lusBeu II on
And he scofed the song with soon,
MORAL.
When they pat you on the back,
When they say that you're the one;
when they say they're on the the track,
And have been obliged to run y
When their compliments denote
They are going for ysur vote,
You can do just az you please,
But-you'd better watch your cheese
GREEN BAY has decided that widow
er ought to mourn at least three weeks
before shining around for a second
wife.
An indianapolis dog goes mad when
he hears a piano played, but there's
hundreds of men who do the same
thing.
81 AM not much for shtump spakin',"
declared candidate , " but for honesty
and capacity and integrity, 1 bate the
divil-so / do"
THE Peoria woman who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands grave
few months ago has just married a
lightning. rod man.
Down in Kentucky the traveller hears
fond husbands say "Come, darling,
come in and get dinner, or I'll mash
yer old red-head with club !?
EDITING paper is like carrying an
umbrella on windy day. Everybody
thinks he could manage it better than
the one who has hold of the handle.
PROF. WATSON says that there is
never more than a million stars in sight
at once, but it will be safe to count EN-
before swallowing the statement.
An Arizona girl shot her lover and
then nursed him tenderly till he died.
His last words were, 81 forgive you
Mary you did it with an ivory-handled
pistol"
MANY a man thinks it's virtue that
keeps him from turning rascal, when
it's only full stomach. One should be
careful, and not mistake potatoes for
principles.
No STATE but Massachusetts could
hold summer session OF the leglsla-
ture, but there the members are too
lean to sweat, and too stingy if they
weren't too lean.
SOME ONE was talking to NJ. Theirs
about the state Of France. " Don't say
France" interrupted the veteran states
man, dcall it the Duchy of Magenta. "
Which was malicious but good
NOTHING hurts the feelings Of Vas
sar girl so much as to be told, in the
presence of strangers at the breakfast
table. that she must limit herself to
thirty pancakes on this occasion"
KATE FIELD says she goes on to the
, stage simply to get physical exercise,
as sedentary life is killing her. Physl,,
clans say that raking in three hundred
dollars a night has tendency to build
) up the tissue.
a HARRIET BEECHER STowR's husband,
: the professor, as Harriet calls him, has
3 lust been mentioned by the papers for
e the first time in ten years. He wouldn't
r have been mentioned now but for haV-
: ing broken his leg.
e AYoUTH will call George was engaged
r. to be married, but was financially una
Bile to call in the minister. His affi-
: anced wanted the affair brought to a
t finale, but George kept putting her off
Y with promises, saying he was not able
h to marry, etc. Finally she said, "Deah
d Gauge, / am willing to marry you, If we
It have to live on bread and water. "
!. DWELL, WE'LL" cried "Gauge" in des-
d peration, "you furnish the bread, and
IS i'll try and skirmish around and
|. hunt up enough water.
n THE Paris Figaro contains a sensa
e tional mention Of Mile. Croizette, who
u is performing in the Sphinx at the
Tbeater Francais. In the enactment oi
d her character in the play she assumes
le to poison herself, and dies upon the
stage-a personation which she is said
sc to perform with such truthfulness tc
E. nature as to cal forth long comments
p in the daily press. One physician
lg comes out in a card, and declares ovel
r his own signature that she does virtual
le ly poison herself nightly, and that suel
Ut reality will sooner or later prove fata
u; if persisted in. :,
I'd PERHAPS the most amused of the OLE
d philosophers, or, as we are In the habl
Of calling them, "Fathers OF the Rev
olution." if he had a chance to see tn
post.ofico department in the city 0
-. Washington, would be Benjamin Frank
ha lin. In 1755, when he was postmaster
20 20 general, he gave notice that hereatte
~ the winter northern mail from Philadel
90 phia to New England, which used t
~ ~ set out but once fortnight, shall star
IN IN once aSveek all the year round, whereof
- - answers NAV be obtained to lette. be
.oi tween Philadelphia aud Boston in thre
3os 9 weeks, which used to require six weeks.
Ter AMONG the waiting passengers at tn
ok Central depot, Detroit, were wldo'
to woman and five children, and by-and-b
ire a man who was waiting for the sam
no. train opened conversation with tn
in. widow and soon remarked that b
ra- would like to marry just such littl
No woman, "Here, Susan, hold tn
in. satchel !" said the woman, turning
az. her Oldest daughter, and then, reachin
be- for the mans arm, she continued
,as "Tye been looking for you about nv
TO- vearsr" Everybody shouted and Iumpe
n 9 With clee. and when the scapego'
BILE backed flat down they said he ought
his be dumped into the river.
ate MEN seldom give pleasure when the
and are not pleased themselves it is ne
est assarv. therefore, to cultivate habi
nal alacity and cheerfulness, that,
whatever state we may be placed BY, n
ture whether we are appointed
confer or receive benefits, to implore
one afford protection we may secure u
the love of those with whom we have dea
lost ings. For, though it is generally INA
'us' med that he who grants favors mi
hos spare any attention to his behavior, al
OF That usefulness will always proScu
and friends, yet it has been found that the
OLD, is an art in granting requests-an
for very difficult of attainment.
81 An Iowa doctor writes OF the remai
tion1 able grasshoppers that do SO mu
and damage in that state :" In my oplni
I re- thew Come from the lower portion
hus- the British possessions. They are are
axes very hardy insect. It takes quite
ness freeze TO kill them. Immerse one
fish, water for three hours, and he'll Col
mere to and have a better masticatiye 9
for digestive faculty than ever. Iney y y
re of deyour arsenic with the avidity OF
,no5eTn halle. When their wings
~.