St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-07-17
SouibS.

The working mans favoritc dish
| Cavcndish.
Family physicians are carefully no
ting the promising state of the green
apple crop.
! 1t is said that the pretticst girl in
Harrisburg is II newspaper carrier. She
carries them in her hustle
! When your pockct-b book gets empty
and every body knows it. you can put
| all .vour friends in it and it wont "bulre
out worth cent.
The editor of the Panama Star. apol
ogizcs for the non-appcarance of his
paper by saying that he had to haul off
to dig buckshot out of his legs.
Nothing encourages the local press
so much as to see buzz saws introduced.
The first and last INDUCTION of the local
editor to the mill-owner is, like that of
the patent medicine man, '.Send for n
circular"
] say, Mick, what sort of potatoes are
those You are planting ?" "Raw ones"
llrsRAND.-"If, as | said before. Ma
tilda, you still cherished that feeling of
affection for me which you once pro
tcsscd, my wish would he law to Won.
repeat it, Matilda-law :"
MATrLpA.-''Lor' r'-Punch
What kind of sassagcs is them p
quericd an old lady of the Young man
OF literature and peanuts, as he passed
through the train selling bananas.
An Englishman, Of the genuine John
Bull breed, arriving in this country
some years ago, i'll the depth of winter.
when the ground was deeply covered
with snow, and slcighing was Mt its
height, determined to indulge in re-
creation mt once so exciting and new to
him. He applied, without loss of time.
to the proprietor of Il livery stable, fora
regular ''turn out" The latter politely
inquired of friend John if he would
have "a Buffalo" "My dear fellow"
replied the latter. draw it mild-draw
it mild-am 'orsc will do"
A few days ago lady of Bloomfield.
Iowa. went to the postoilicc and asked
for some stamps. The clerk handed
her some green ones. She asked him if
he didn't have any pink her stationery
was pink, and she wanted stamps to
match.
''Where's that twelfth juror p eX-
claimed an Idaho Judge on the Courts
I'SiHiiiiS bilSillcSS a1Ief Il recess, frOWn-
ing as he spoke at the eleven jurors in
the box. one of whom rose and said
PLEASE Judge. it's Ike Simmons as is
gone. lie had to go on private bust
ness, but he's left his vurdck with me-"
n timid correspondent of a New
Orleans paper, wanted to know chow
to tell mad dog" and the editor made
the following suggestion 1--WE don't
know what he wants to tell him. but
the safest way would he to communi-
cate to the dog i'll writing. Send the
letter from il gun in the shape of wad-
ding, followed by small shot to see if
he gets it,"
y suffering broker in New York
lately asked another, who had Il bald
pate, why his head was like h-hash in
a h-boarling- house. The disrusted
friend. on admitting that he didn't know.
was Informed that twas because th
there's h-hair h-h-hcre and th-tllcre.
The Seneca tribe of Indians now con
SiStS of one old horse, II chief. and three
gallons of whisky. a few more setting
suns a few more moons "A brief sea
son. and that rce-gallon Jug will join
its comrades i'll the happy hunting
grounds. DctIoH Free Press.
Receipts for the preservation of furs
abound i'll all the papers, but the old
plan promulgated 10y Punch long ago is
the best. This is to pull ont ali the
hairs with twcczers and varnish the
skin. In the Spring remove the var
nish and carefully stick all the hairs in
their old places.
country paper says that, in reply
to question from the lecture com
mittee of the chief town of the dis
trict, as to the subject of lecture to
be given at the institution. the lecturer
telegraphed, "A Taste of Naples and
Rome" The operator made it read. "A
Taste of Apples and Rum"