Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-06-18
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

All Sorts OF Paragraphs.
EupHos1oUs term forgrog-blossoms-
Gill-y-Aowers.
NOZZLE living is the finest Of all fine
arts.
MoRosENEss is the evening of tnrbu-
lence.
FAITH and hope cure Kaore diseases
than medicine.
A STONE which is fit for the wall will
not be left in the road way.
WHAT literary ladies' ought to wear
Book muslin.
Which is the longest rope in the
world? Europe.
A BANK must be poor place to i'm
part secret, as there is q cash ear and
telle rthere constantly. " i
The longest word in the English Ian
guage is smiles, because there is miie
between the first and Last letters.
MORE than 1900 Cinnamon are now
engaged in picking strawberries in the
Santa Clara valley, California.
FIVE hundred Cinnamon left San
Francisco for the fowery kingdom on
May 80.
MOST kinds of roots and barks arc
now used as medicines, except the cube
root and the bark of dog.
WHEN deaf and dumb lovers are mar
ried, two members of the wedding party
are sure to be unspeakably happy.
WHEN aman says he hasa' a'tanyheazt
to fight, he means, very often, that. he
hasn't the pluck.-New York Ledges:
ARRIVAL of the nightingale That In
q pleasing but injudiciously worded
fact: the nightingale has not a rival.
ACCOMPLISHING q thing by indirec-
tion: For = doctor to keep patients
waiting by putting on his door In Di-
rectly. -. 49,.
A cELEBATRD. barrister was in the
habit of saying: I always study the
feasibility of case before I undertake
it.
A FEMALE pawnbroker, hauled up for
extortion, claimed immunity on the
ground that she was q loan woman.-
New York Ledger. -, :::-:~-.
The difference between perseverance
/ 3s4ANA OOoOAA0Cy 40 tA1G OAO O13cu COk0C6
from strong will, and the other from
a strong won't.
A LITTLE boy heard his mother tell of
eighteen head of cattle being burnt the
other night. Weren't their tails burnt
also ?" inquired the verdant youth.
NEVER visit friends without some an
nouncement of your coming. Crockett's
motto is a good one: Be suresyou
write, then 60 ahead" 4-~... >,
The season has arrived when smart
people everywhere are asking the CO.
nundrum, ''Why is mosquito like
charity?" The gleeful response of
course is-Because it begins to hum.
To BE able to practice five things
everywhere under heaven constitutes
perfect virtue Gravity, generosity of
soul. sincerity, earnestness and kind
ness. - :'s'5-&s@s1
MINNIE in such a quandarry
for, if I turn my back on Charley, he
becomes offended at once, and if Idon't
he can't see my new buckle. What
shall do? -' ,.s-sr- 4r;l
| IHAvE often wondered how every man
loves himself more than all the rest of
men, yet sets less value on his own
opinion of himself than on the opinion
of others. = as-aiaJ =. =:
A DULUTH paper says one of the
streams running into Lake Superior
from the north is called Temperance
river, because it is the only one of all
the tributaries of the lake that has no
bar at its mouth.
A BooK-B1NDER had book brought
to him to be rebound. After the Job
| was finished, he made the following en-
try in his day-byok: To repairing the
"Way to Heaven" twenty-five cents.
WHOEVER has gone through much of
life must remember that he has thrown
away q great deal of useless uneasiness
upon what was much worse in appre-
hension than in reality. .
A MAN who fell into q vat of boiling
lard, and got out alive, says that it was
an unpleasant sensation after the first
moment, but he thought what mighty
queer-shaped doughnut he would make.
*-IMPERrmExr dandy q stranger: ,
May have the honor to accompany
you. miss2'' Cool young lady-""C Ger
tainly ;but keep behind, in your proper
place. I discharged my last footman
for impertinence. - .-.
The Swatara will take off but very
few of the persons anxious to witness
the transitof Venus. There will bethe
same crowds around church doors on
Sunday evening after the steamer has
left. = = '.~-~~-~..~-.,.-.
IT is precisely the proudest and most
! obstinate men who are the most liable
to shift their position and contradict
themselves; everything is easier to
them than to face the simple fact that
they have been thoroughly defeated,
and must begin life anew.
"Sam, what kind of fish in salt water
weigh de least?" ,"Why, Julius, what
ignoramus questions you AZ your breth-
rem Minims weighde least, of course"
"No, no, sar-dat's wrong, now; it am
de porpus weighs nothing cos he'sgot
no scales"
GUNNYBAGs dunned Smith for the
amount due on account, and Smith
wrote saying Gunnybags must let the
account run awhile longer. Gunnybags
wrathly replied that he wouldn't.
"Then let it run, Ietorted Smith, and
Gunnybags was madder than ever
New York Ledger.
A FRIEND accused another of sleeping
n church, which he fatty denied, in
sisting that he had been awake all the
time. "Well, then" said the accuser,
"can you tell me what the sermon was
about?" Eyes, I can," was the an
swer, sit was about half an hour long,"
"Mr. JONES'" said old Monebags,
"the times are hard, and will lower
your rent one-half." "Thank you,"
said Mr.. Jones, "and I will do all I
can to raise it," Now, while they thus
work at cross-purposes, is it strange
that capital and labor are reputed to he
at variance ?-Ne,c York Ledger.
SENATOR O. s. FERRY's disease, the
Hartford Times explains, is like that of
Senator Sumner, and causes excessive
pain. Previous to his return to Nor
walk, last week, he was in such pain
that his only relief was in sub-cutane-
Gus injections of morphine repeated
several times each day. When he
reached home he was in very low con-
dition, and his friends fear that he will
never return to Washington.
The German Reichstag is hereafter
going to do its voting by telegraph.
The wires are to he so arranged that
each member canindicate his vote from