The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-01-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


The Louisville Courier-Journdl having romarl
I'd: 1--WE would call the attention OF our iegi
lators to the fact that they hang men in Nilsson
now for wearing squeakng boots the ST. Lou
Democrat responds:
Not mite so bad as that. By the Callawa
county code mule stealing Is punlsned VII
death without benefit OF clergy. MURDER
cIasscd with the minor grades OF msdemeanor'
o.a S Sonotr,es brings upon offenders the mill
,ansures of the Governor. The mule thieves ar
considering whether it wouldn't be better 10
them to kill the owner OF the mule "heh inc!
take the animal, as this would 60 lar 10 mitigat
penalty As yet we have hcaru Oh io nIi,au 60
heated case of hanging man IN Caiiaway 10
wearing soueaking boots, though the cOuc i
liable to be revised at any moment
II Anna Dickinson never was married, she
knows thing or two about tho deEghis o.
courtship. This is how she writes about Datl
In the waters OF ldaho;
You NAV laugh as much as YOU please, and say
have no business to gush at my age, Dut, GirIS
the delight of a bath in that Idaho water IL very
ike the rapture you find in your lovers tcndc
clasp. I've tried both, and know.
The business Of kissing is getting to be dan
gerous. An exchange puts upon record the fol
lowing facts:
The other day Philadelphia Judge decided
that habltual kissing of young lady ny III uil,
married gentleman was equivalent 70 PLopos "a.
Of marriage, and now We read OF Massachuselts
woman who while kissing her husband, ana Win
one arm around his neck, drew pistol with the
other and shot him. II begins to look as though
self.preseryation would require the men to stop
the practice altogether.
There, little boys, let the following be warn.
ing to you against greedinets:
In Tennessee, a snake which measured seven
feet in length was killed while caught IN the
crack of fence, half its body being on each SIDE
Examination developed that the snake had swaI.
lowed rabbit before IL had attempted to crawl
through the crack, and that after its body was
half through, it caught and swallowed another
rabbit, thus having 4 rabbit on each side Of the
fence The rabbits could not get through the
crack, which WAS unfortunate for the snake, as il
cost him his life.
The latest cmulator Of Thomson, az e writer Of
poetry on the seasons, has contributed the fol
lowing timely sanza TO an exchange newspaper
DEFENDERS gone, and now the breezes
Howl among the lcafess treeses
Now the boy with ragged trowses
SAivering h0meward drives the cowses;
His boots are old and torn his clothes Is,
And bless my soul! how blue his noses is.
In an advertisement Of bakers business for
sale, the following appears: Death, the sole
reason for leaving 1t would be difficult to find
a better
The Norristown Comm Herald man, admitting
that Oliver Wendell Holmes is thcGrcat Amcri.
can Humorst, demands Gercely that he write a
comic almanac.
1t is a pity that in the representation Of the
1 4 ~.
touching incident cannot somehow be inter
woven:
A total stranger called on q respectable Chat.
tanooga farmer recently, and asked him If his
house had not been robbed during the war The
farmer replied that it had. IL" SAID the strang.
er, was one Of the maraudng party that did it
| took Il little locket" " That locket" said the
farmer, bursting into tcars, had been worn by
my dear dear child.n " Here 1t is," replied the
stranger, visbly affected; 81 am rich-lct me
make restitution Here is $40 for YOUR little
SON. He gave the farmer IA $50 bill, and rcCciv-
ed $50 in change. He then wrung the farmers
hand warmly, and left. The farmer has since
dried his tears aud loaded his shot gun The $50
bill was bad.
"There is one good thing about babies" says a
late traveller they never change. We have
girls Of the period, men of the world, hut the
baby is the selfposscsscd, fearless laughing, yo.
racious little heather in all ages and in all
countries"
A Brooklyn man, who never had sweetheart,
says he takes solitary satisfaction in standing
grounding the railroad depots and seeing the
women hug.
Never play with a pistol. No matter that it is
unloaded, the devil always puts charge in it t.
90 off at the right time. A deaf mute tried to
pawn pistol for liquor in u saloon at Detroit
The Boniface declined to invest but examined
the pistol sufficiently to see that 1t was not load
ed. When the half drunken mute therefore
snapped it at half dozen different persons, no
body was frightened. But when he turned it on
himself, it went oil, sending n ball through his
body ana killing him. The devil always gets the
5 tart of a fool.
II there is one thing, says the Louisville Cgo.
that the wives Of Carlo Illinois, in.
sist upon above all others, it is early hours.
Mrs Charity Lord OF that swamp, told Mr. Lord
the other evening that it he didn't come home by
ten o'clock she would hang herself. If those
Cairo reporters had any enterprise at all, they
would interview the widowcr and ondcayor u
hnd out why lac didn't throw up his hand, even
II he was behind, and 90 home sooner.
ayes, sir; when man IN Louisiana finds q
.tranger IN his hog-pcn he has a right to shoot
that stranger down." is the decision lately rem
dered by Louisiana Judge.
The decision is rough on the Grant party OF
that state.
At San Diego California, says a paper from
that locality, the farmers raise lgs upon which
to fat their hogs. That is worse than raising
corn for fuel.
\ Michigan newsdeaer recently received This
order from young lady: send me 4 Novel
called buffalo bill and the dais doins." Contrary ia
what might be inferred, she was not from Boston.
Mr.. Herndon proves that Lincoln was an inf.
del. Mr.. Reed, that he was christian. Mr.
Collyer, that he was Parkcritc. Tom Lewis.
that Lincoln introduced him 10 Grant, and now
comes spiritualist Of Chicago, and shows M
old Abe as having taken an active part in " cir
eles, "seances," and such like Evidence that
Ar. Lincoln was q Buddhist is now i'm order.