The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-08-14
CAPTURED SMILES.

THERE Is nothing more calculated to
weaken a boys moral character than to
get his fishing hook fastened on rubbish
in the river.
IF naughty girl should hurt you,
like good girl you would forgive her,
wouldn't youf" "Yes, marm, II l
couldn't catch her"
"Go for it while it's hot" was the ex-
hortation Of rural youth to his lady
love, as he handed her foaming glass Of
soda. She went for it.
ALrTTLE Boston boy said to his mother,
Mamma, wish I was built like hen
coop, out Of laths, and then the breeze
could blow right through me-"
OUT in Wisconsin horse kicked and
killed book agent, whereupon the cit
izens made a donation party for the
horse, and he now has oats enough to
last him a full lifetime.
"Do you wish to have my bills sworn
TOT" inquired the physician. NO." re-
piled the executor, the death Of the de-
ceased is enough to prove that you at
tended him professionally.
IT was "darling Gweorge" when q
bridal couple left Omaha; it was dear
George" at Chicago; at Detroit 1t was
"George," and when they reached Mag
ara Falls it was "Say, you"
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases. For in
stance, when Virginian arose in church
and said, 4" Here's hundred dollar bill
for the old hoss behind the pulpit" no
one thought of putting him out. ~
The new directory is as good as the
average, but it has some errors In it. A
gentleman who went last night 70 the
house described in the directory a. his
residence had his head hurt by a Aat-iron.
-Mlraukee Sentinel.
SALT LAKE has been victimized by q
Snowman, who announced that he would
cause "human body to appear and dis
appear before the audience" He ap
peared, got their money, and disappeared.
He filed the programme.
AN elderly maiden purchased one Of
the Egyptian mummies at the Niagara
Falls Museum, the other day, for par
lor ornament. She said it would seem
better to have man around, even If he
was advanced in life and withered.
AN old lady in Lancaster county,
Pennsylvania, recently refused the gift
of a load of wood from a tree struck
by lightning, through fear that some
of the "huid" might remain in the
wood and cause disaster to her stove.
A PAINTER being asked to estimate the
cost of painting certain house, drew
forth pencil and paper, and made the
following calculation: "a naught Il .
naught; three into five twice you can't
IN paint your house for fifty dol
lars"
"How like its father it isl" ex-
claimed the nurse, on the occasion Of
the christening Of baby whose father
was over seventy, and had married
young wife. "very likely replied
satirical lady; ait hasn't tooth in its
head"
"NEvER marry for wealth." says .
contemporary, "but remember that It
is just as easy to love girl who has
brick house with Mansard roof and a
silver-plated door bell, as one who hasn't
anything but an auburn head and an
amiable disposition.
A PROMISING youth Of nine summers,
in Western Massachusetts,, at school
recently relieved his sover-burdened mind
rs follows:
lord Of love look down from above
Upon US little scholar;
We havea fool 10 tesoh our school,
And pay her twenty dollars"
A further effusion Of talent wassuddenly
stopped, as this precious lad conformed
to a semi-circle over the teachers knee,
which position he occupied for five min
utes, to his great discomfort, viewing the
cracks in the floor