The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1874-01-16
Grants Wonderful PEN.

When Aladdin wished 10 accomplish
great thing. he merely rubbed hi. wonder
ful lamp. and magnificent basins OF costly
Jewels were placed before him. or elegant
palaces were created al a moments notice.
Never since the days Of Aladdin have such
wonderful miracles been performed until
the present time. Probably President
Grants pen alone possesses more Of the
same power than even the wonderful lamp
Of the Arabian Nights When Tom
Murphy left the cuStOm-house ia disgrace.
blackcncd with his infamous load 20 a. 10
b. nearly unacceptable. Grants Won
derfnl pen was invoked. when the former
In charred remains Of Tom We're rendered
snow-whiie with Immaculate purity. An
gels in their -pO,le~> robes seemed black
beside honest Tom after he had received
the benefits Of his masters pen. When
Coliax tumhlel from the giddy heights at
which he had always pcrched himself. and
fell broken and bruised. an unacceptable
mass Of smashed statesman, the same WON
deriul pen was dipped into magic fluid.
and a the lii,-giving nectar dropped from
the President fingers the chronic sIrile
of the eN-Nice was restored IN All its inno-
cent simplicity, and Coli.;N j. now a grim
ming honorary member OF The Radical
Government so dear 10 all American citi-
zens /, TO be overthrown IN any State
dash of the same wonderful Instrument
has by it, magic powers overturned whole
commonwealth n m Louisiana. But
probably one Of the greatest feats ever
performed 10y this truly magical quill is
the feat Of removing from what has usual
IL been called stealing. all Of its damning
qualities. Last year when members OF Con-
gress cOncocted scheme 10 rob the people
by legalizing the back pay. the wonderful.
magical. and supernatural splendOr and
power o. Grants pen in stripping the bill
OF it, coat of steal completely 0utshOne the
feat of Aladdin's lamp. when the magnifi-
cent palace. which was the grandest ever
erected. made its appearance in one night.
BY this simple dash Of the executive wea-
pom corporations have been enriched and
..ringsr that have appeared plain without
any setting whatever have been suddenly
into diamond rings. Boss"
shepherd. whose skirts have been exposed
until they had become mildewed. Is
and purified by Grants pen a
a. If the great Boss" had
been soaked in the waters OF Jordan for a
half century. Williams. who drabbled his
ermine in the slough ofcOrruption. has by
elevated and received the nomination TO
the bench so lately honOred by Salmon II.
Chase. Bingham. who helped 10 fix Uncle
sam so that the great Credit-Mobilier
crowd To which he belonged might rob
him. by dash of Grants wonderful pen
was cleansed a eXpeditiously a the lepers
OF old. and sent on his foreign mission re-
ioicing and blessing his master. Hun
dreds. yea thousands. like the ihirsting
travellers in the desert. Who suddenly dis
cover an oasis and arr saved. nave fallen
down and blessed their masters pen,
which turned their despair To rejoicing.
No matter how large their corrupt sores
have been. even afflicted worse than job
OF old. the wonderful pen ofthe master has
puncfured the sores and let OUT the bad
matter. Even now. Gen. Howard stands
waiting 10 De- clssinsrd. and the same Won
derftIl pen will heal the perturbed spirit
OF the General and send him away blessing
the man that possesses the fountain that
has restored 80 many fallen statesmen.
Verify. we say. the glory Of Aladdin's
wonderful lamp loses it, splendor when
compared beside the miracles performed
by the Chief Executives wonderful pen.
= Whitehall IN ~ Times.