The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-05-21

The famous advice of Punch regarding
matrimony was intended for men. They
are too obtuse for anything finer. The |
opposite sex also need counsel, but of a |
more discriminating kind. To young la
dies about to surrender themselves to the
fascinating noose, ".don't" would be the |
most vagte and dangerous caution, al
together wide of the mark. For the older
sisters it would be still more matapropos
Something more nearly suited to their
case we find in the Paris Register, and,
coming from the pen of lady, it gains
thereby an additional sanction. She says:
Don't marry rich man. put this
first because after long and weighty re-
Election, have arrived at the conclusion
that the principal virtue man can pos
sess is to be rich. AS in former days it
was said in highest praise of family
that all the men were brave and all the
women yirtuous, so now it is said that all
the men drive four-in-hands and all the
women wore diamonds of the first water.
Nevertheless, great wealth is an objection
able quality in husband, though know
most chaperones won't agree with me. A
rich husband is like wild buffalo, excess
sively difficult to catch, and excessively
disagreeable when you have caught him.
Leave ten-milliOn-dOllar men to foolish
girls who don't know better; do you be
satisfied with one-million-dOllar man.
If he has made his own money, then he
is stingy; if he hasn't made it, then he
is spendthrift. In either case he is sure
to be intolerably conceited and thorough
ly spoiled. He cannot help it, poor
wretch, for the whole world gets round a
rich man and buffers him up till he
doesn't know whether he isn't Jupiter
Olympus, and whether it isn't great
pity he's obliged, by the disrespectful
laws of gravitation, to tread the same
common earth with other men who can
not afford to give dinners Mt five hundred
francs head, and buy fast trotters and
English racing colts at chimerical prices
Don't marry rich man unless you have
as much money as he has, for the first
time he quarrels with you he will throw
his magnanimity in marrying you In your
teeth, and never let it out of your sight
again. Above all, avoid that ambulating
museum of monstrosities caprices and
absurdities--a rich man who is the only
son of his mother. He has been educat-
ed at home under private tutors; and
then, if an Englishman, sent to spend his
money at Oxford; if an American, to
spend it in Paris, and don't quite know
which produces the worse effects. Re
member this, tOo---that every man is
under the thumb of the woman who
flatters him the most subtly. There is no
more subtle flatterer of man than his
mother; no wife has chance against her.
She, of course, would hate you priO,i
and he--employing his time in silently
comparing your demeanor with hers,
taking stock of all your shortcomings in
the matter of skllful adulation, PROSTATE
obedience and admiring awe---would hate
you also in three weeks.
Don't marry popular man. The man
who knows everybody and is known by
everybody; who calls all the young
ladies "my dear child" and all the young
men his "boys," and every one in general
his dearest friend" The man who
squeezes your hand tremendously the
first time he meets you, and tells you he
feels an affinity for you. The man who
adapts himselfin all things to all men,
interests himself in your smallest affairs,
and draws out your confidence like a
poultice. The man who buys horses and
cigars for his masculine acquaintance,
and chooses toilets, diamonds and draw
ing-roOm furniture for his feminine ones.
The man who acts as a sort of gentleman
courier to all the ladies he knows, who
happens to be "doing the Continent J"
engages rooms at hotels for them, orders
their dinners for them, takes their tickets
for them, looks after their luggage for
them, and finds out all the places worth
seeing for them. The man who gets i'll
vitations to balls and introductiOns to
"swells" for every one. The man who
arranges pic-nics. The man who tells
comic anecdotes, sings comic songs, and
gets up charades, round games and inn
promptu dances who is the center of at
traction wherever he goes and whom
everybody calls ga delightful person 4"
and an Invaluable acquisition" Don't
be tempted to try and bind that acquis-
ition to your private chariot-wheels. De-
pend upon it, after he has married you,
he will be everybOdy's slave, treasure and
joy---except yours. The man can not be
always charming, 80 he will unbend him.
self to yOu---he will take it out of you.
Don't fancy that he will waste his bon
n,ots, and his good stories and his graceful
compliments on you. Don't fancy that
he will escort you to the opera, or drive
you out to the Bots, or take you on q trip
to Nice, or Florence, or Pau. Don't fancy
he will trouble his head as to what color
suits your complexion best--you might
go about clad in green baise, with yell
low Bandanna tied over your head, for
aught he would care. Deluded woman !!
do you want to pack up the two hemi-
in, eli -hnv hot Ia
Encke's comet in your vinaigrette.
Don't marry an economical man. The
man who turns up his trowsers at the
ankles when there is q spot of mud on
the pavement, and who will run a mile
after an omnibus, if he is caught in a
shower, rather than take facre; or, if he
does take one, haggles with the driver
over his fare, and presents him with one
sou pourboire The man who wears gal
loshes and gets his overcoats turned, in
stead of giving them to his valet. The
man who goes and dimes with his friends,
and feasts on truffied pheasants and JO-
hannisberger, and smokes their best Ha-
vanas afterward, and then asks them to
dine in return, and treats them to stewed
larks, bad Marsha, and cabbage weeds.
The man who sends you New Years
box of three francs worth of bon-bons,
bought at the epicier's, or an infinitesimal
bouquet from the flower market, which
might stand in liquor-glass. The man
who advises you to read " How to Dress
on Fifteen Pounds Year." as lady, by
a lady and who says he thinks English
women dress better than American wo-
men, because the former wear one
buttoned gloves, half-boots with elastic
sides, and straw hats all the year round.
The man who spends an hour shipping
the margins of his letters, in order to
avoid putting on an extra stamp, and
who will spend another hour holding a
letter he has sealed and wants to reopen
over the steam of tea-kettle rather than
spoil the envelope by Sitting it. The
man who stops in town all the year round,
and says he thinks the return of cool
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