The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-06-30
as if 1 didn't understand my business.

| "Well,' said i, though it's great
sacrihce-really giving it away--Ill let you
have It for one shilling per yard Dirt
cheap, but as it is for your pretty daughter,
I'll put it down below cost l wouldn't do
it" said I, leaning down over the counter
close to the old lady's green calash-"I
wouldn't do it for another person in the
world %
Ny answer seemed to please the old lady.
She turned the fabric over and over, felt Of
it upon both sides, tried the strength of its
texture with her thumb and finger, and at
last gave the order. b& lAEEg II g.
Eight yards and half, good measure
and silk to sew it up with"
cut off the desired quantity, folded six
slSeins Of sewing-silk inside it; the ladypaid
for it in odd ninepences and sixpences, and
l bowed her out of the store.
Enter customer No. 2. A seedy-lool1ing
man, in grey blouse, to get two cents
worth of black snuff.
searched around awhile among the
mysterious boxes and barrels, and at last
pitched upon the strong-smelling article.
Wrapped up couple of ounces; delivered
it to my customer, and received in return
two coppers, which Noah might have coin
ed in the Ark while waiting for dry
! weather. u
Customers No. 3, were two pretty, red
checked grls-one with butter to sell, the
other with pail of eggs, destined for the
same purpose as the butter. remembered
Harry's injunction about the eggs, butter,
cold water, and fork -pricking; but for the
the life Of me, couldn't recollect which
test was to be applied to the butter, or
which to the eggs. wanted to oblige the
pretty girls, SO took both butter and eggs
into the back store, determined to do some
thing with them.
After a few moments consideration,
procured fork and pierced each and all of
the eggs separately-and the result was
astonishing out of two dozen, six were
positively in state of decomposition /;
thirteen were occupied by remarkably we'll
grown Juveniles of the fowl race; and
the remaining five were smelling decidedly
old.
The butter wouldn't sink in the water
do all could, pop it would come up to the
surface again; and was obliged, though
reluctantly, to decide that it wouldn't do to
take either the butter or the eggs. So l
returned to the front part of the store
again, bearing the pail of mutilated eggs
in one hand, and the butter in the other.
~ am sorry-ahem that is, l regret
that the eggs are too-too old for our pur-
pose and the butter-we don't take butter
now %
You should have seen the pretty young
ladies' faces blaze up! The one with the
eggs muttered something about "City
greenhorn p and the butter girl exclaimed
aloud,
/ "What better could have been expected
from such gosling?"
l was fain to conciliate them by the gift
of three sticks of candy apiece, and
telling them broke the eggs by accident.
After the girls, came hard-looking old
gentleman in quest of pork.
He wanted the homemade, native
pork-none Of yer Western hog cholera
stuff p'
/ made tour of the suspicious looking
barrels in the cellar-gazed approhensiveiy
at my wrought wristbands-found barrel
which smelt of pickle; and procuring a
pair of long-handled pincers from the coal
bin, made a plunge into the cask with
them. Nothing whatever came up to re-
ward my efforts; and was making prepa-
rations for a second dive when down came
my hard-looking friend to see how was
getting on.
"Put yer hands in, ye abominable young
dandy What are ye afraid of wonder ?
In with yer hands - My friend was little
out of patience with me.
/ couldn't bear the appellation of dandy,
so plunged my hands and arms into the
pickle, and brought up a whole layer of
pork.
Instinctively looked at my wristbands.
Lucky that Isabel Richborn wasn't there
to look also tore them off and flung
them into the furnace, glad to escape a
second sight of their fair (p) proportions.
Served ye right p said my handbook
ing friend, with evident satisfaction, ga
man has no business with such flumma-
diddles-particularly If he goes pork fish
ing ~ sisn afr fal
seized the pork and held it ready for
delivery. ntf
=. g You'll have to trust me, hain't got
II tha ,,oonat, "a enara saaA ,,o,,, ~ .o;l l.