The Van Buren press., 1874-02-03
MISCELLANY.
Getting Rid ofHimsslf.

Sometimes, said he English trav'
eler, to the long bearded Californian who
sat beside him in the rslway car. which
was waiting for an express train at
dreary looking Observation-Disclosures life
becomes such u bore llnt one would bc
glad to get rid Of ones ,elf for while. >
Never be tempted tcdo it, stranger,
said the Californian. Its deuced un-
comfortable.
What is p asked the Enslishman
Being rid of ones self, said the
Californian. "Oh, you laugh! l was
rid OF myself ouee I'll tell you all
about it, | went to Csu,ornia twenty
years ago to make my sortune. ! wen
To the digglngs, OF course, and ! didn
find it. Then went into business. You
don want to hear about that. failed
there, too was head over ears in debt
and head over ears in love. Couldn
have the girl on account of the objections
of her unreasonable old father, ano
coudn get either credit nor money Al
last. stranger, ! coultat get square
meal at any restaurant, and as true as
you sit there couldn get any tobacco
That finished me sat with my head
between my hands thinking about it, and
wondering what should do next. When
Chang Wang, my washerman, brought
nv clothes home, he walked into my
room with the garments In HAT basket
and stood in his blue irock looking al
me with his queer, obluue eyes
- Chang Wang wasily, washy belly
good. he said, holding out his hand.
-" All right, said Put 'em down.
+" You pay Chang Wang, belly good,
he said shaking his head.
II turned my pockets inside out
"Chang Wang Immediately remarked
No money, no SHIT Good by, and
departed with the clothes. basket.
II threw my slipper at him as he went
out, grinning amiably over h,s shoulder,
and threw the other one at the door to
shut it The door did not shut. ! got
up to see to it, and there in the crack lay
something that kept the door open. 1t
was Il pipe. Chang Wangs pipe, | knew +:
he had dropped it.
Stranger, perhaps you've never been
without IA smoke in your life. II you
haven't, you can understand my feelings
IL knew that pipe had been between
his nasty yellow lips, but didn't care.
put it between my own II was full. /
lighted it, and ! lay down on my back ON
the bed to smoke il out, locking The door,
so that il he did come back, Chang Wang
could not enter.
On. dear, | said to myself. Wen
you may be u psrson. Oh, dear, what
a b.cssed thing it would be to get rid oi
myself! Just to slip quietly into some
one else's skin aud dodge my creditors
To be changed, SO that the tailor and the
shoemaker wouldn't know me So that
no little bills would ever come into me
again; to begin liIc over again new
man! Id shake hands with old Cloven
hoof. if he would help me to pet rid OF
myself in that way-by all that's honest,
| would, and took long Whit at my
pipe.
- Belly good, said voice at my ear
- turned my head. There at my
side stood what shall always believe tu
have been Chinese Devil. He had the
blue cotton frock and trowssrs, the oh
liQue eyes. yellow teeth, and long pigtail
but he also had pair of horns, gilt and
tipped with red, Il long tail like monkey
and eleven feet. He held ont his hand
"' Belly good, he said again, shake
hands
who are you? asked.
"S'pose you say you wanty me.
come +, said tie creature
-" You wanty be anozzer man--all
right S'pozy mozzer man come-no can
know All right
- But you can't change me, said !,
80 Shake hands, said Cloven hoof.
:" All right
81 gave him my hand. In another
minute he dropped it
Good by, he said, and was of like
Il shot think he went through Tho
door; they Always do in plays, 20,
know
"Yes. said the Englisllman, staring
hard y, the Californian through his eye
glasses.
Il jumped of Of the bed as soon as he
was goue, said the Californian u" but /,
my aslonishment l found it wasn't sucl
an easy matter as usna. Something hao
happened to my legs; they were not /:
par; one was good deal shorter than
the other. l wore dressing. gown, too
"A bright red one. with tassel about
the waist. put my hand up to my face
another moment saw that was in ~
ollice that ] well knev---one situated in
- street. San Franc SEQ. l rushed t,
the looking glass nea' me, and saw til,
face of Mr. Abrahams, money lender
Cloven.hoof had changed me with IL ven
geace. had put my hand into his
twenty-five years old, tolerably good
looking. and at least six feet in height
| had removed it, less than live, with ,
face like those we see on old Datch pipes
and seventy five years on my shoulders
| gaspcd for breath and hohblcd to q seat
As sunk into IL moiey jingled in IN,
pockets. plunged my hands into then
and drew forth ut one grasp eagles ant
half eagles, dollars :nd half dollars
Something like y rush Of memory..told INT
that the bunches of keys felt also, un
locked great boxes, sales, and vauls full
of treasure, and that ms one OF the rich
est Men in San Francisco.
This changed my mood ut once
coull do what | Dlpaspi now | IN MIR