, 1874-10-18
Hua.0R.

| -A---
HuM0R.
unpopular music-Thonas' concerts an tbs
-Bal!oons might be used by policemen for
taking people up
JOHN Smith, Of London, ran away with tro
Miss Aloores. and they are after him and h,s
"A man in Cincinnati, advertising for a s;tnn-
ton, says: :" Work ia NOT 40 much IN object "a
| good wages"
"A student at an lows college boarded him.
| self on 65 cents per week, aud studied twenty
hours per day. He Is nov an Oversee, OF High
| ways.
| "A County Treasurer in Al.bama can't reaa
or write, but he has put S., 600 where no one but
| himself can ind it. This shows that collegiate
| education isn't essential to the requirement OF
| wealth.
-Grindstones are considered safe property to
| invest in, because, If you cannot sell them for
4 cash, You can always turn them-
| -" Joshua" said Quix's laudlady to her hope
| {ul at breakfaat, Whst ia an heir apparent7r
There's one on tho butter, mother," replied the
unflial youngster. And the old l4dy lit upon
| him with tue conee-pot.
At dinner party recently, Senator Nye put
his new silk tile carelesslv upon the sofa.
few minutes after, Gen. Butler sat down upon
aud crushed the hat fearfuIly. ''D-n it" roar
| ed Nye, II could have told you it wouldn't tt
before you tried it on
The only excuse Tennessee man had for
| shooting stranger was, that the strangers
name was Moses Bogardus Smith, Hs said no
body could bring that name into Tennessee aud
i've.
III W-o-r-c~e-s-te-r spells Wooster, whr
| doesn't R-o-c-A-e-b-t-e-f spell Rooster?
| "a schoolboy spelled ''Hob." aud, when asked
to doine it, blundered out: 1T means when =
feer don't want to cry. and it bursts out itsef.e
| Another defined oomma as 4 "period with q
| tall"
AN anxious parent, whose son has already
mastered French, German, and Italian, has do
termined on sending the yoath to Finland, in or
| Finish it required.
- II 'twere done when tits dun, then 'twazn
| we'll 'twere dun quickly as the goaded youth
remarked to his tailor.
"A young man has been arrested in New York
| for sleeping IN standing position He would
stand on the street for hours ut = stratch, with
his eyes closed, and nos move muscle. It u
| hereditary His fatheE Was policeman :'~~'
| "A keen-vitted servant girl told the 1nfltmsu
the other day that he gaye his cows too much
| salt. 8 How do you know thzt5" said tho lao
tealist. ''Su1e KIN tell be the milk that they
drink too much water entire1y!" said tue girl
The nilkmaa drove of in hurry.
| "A gentleman just from Wilcox, Ga, asked
an old veteran OF that country il there rere sny
candidates travelling around that portion Of the
| State. "Well, stranger, to tell you the truth,
Iye got bee tree leaning over the public road,
and Ire been trying to cut it for weeks, but I'm
64A1AA u AAAAA1 q ~0AAA404At0 HA4*A "A1 *t&a
| reply.
| "A teacher questioning little boys about :he
i graduation in the scale OF being, asked, "Whs3
comes next to mani" whereupon little shaver.
| who was evidently smarting under sense OF
previous defeat. Immediately diatanced all cota-
petitorse by promptly shouting "his shirt,
ma'amI"
Directory Man" How many rngular and
steady boarders are there in this hpuse2 "
Landady-" Well, there's fifteen o them in H.
sir !; but some stays out more nights than Like,
| aud only four ,s what you can call regular aud
STEADY, owing to aicknesa."
The Dignity Of Labor-Martha-" Oh. il !
please m, it's the Hashy-woman /" Party With
Bundle Beggin' yer paraing, Hiss, it amt
Mrs. ha.aprop has = COUSIN, and he lives la
= country Town. Young Ma!apgop vas s.aza!n- mn
grocer's, Yesterday. "D'ye think this is pure p
said young III. Yes, sr'ee," Was the reply
Wal, I'll bet il yer take it to chemists and
have it para!yzed you'll find it isn't pure It al,
said Young u.
-Gallantry.-Maiden Aunt {remonststing With
Dublin street Arab)-'' Don't you know. sir, it's
very dangerous to throw stones? That one very
nearly hit me. sir! And supposing it had put
my eye out, aud blinded me. what would yon
have done then 2" Street Boy-"6hure, I'd
have married yer, ~ coo1se!"
| "A certain hostess. wtose table il noted for
its uniformity Of dlshes. has = brisk daughter
who electndes her mas hoarders With the fol-
new ffty-dollar piano: While beefsteak and
yenison costs lots OF cash, be it ever so grialy,
there's nothing like hash; the arcapings and
lcayings of no use elsewhere, Nhen mixad
| altogether make excellent fare. Hash, hash,
! good meat hash! Be it ever so grisiy there's
| nothing like hash! 4 stranger from home. hotels
dazzle in vain! O. give ms cheap eating-honse
food that's more plain; the waiter who gayly re-
echoes my sn f9s Pss p!ass Of hash or
! -SEeUA-RfOVD'6 DAT1Or in BprlNEhetd Mx6N.