The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-03-14
pcpper and salt,


! Saw an rasciblG party chase a - cent hat two
blocks. On the way he fell over dry goods box
and split wide open pair of bran new cashmere
pants worth $l2, knocked OFF boot heel and
striking the northeast corner o! his right foot
against the curb stone, injured his pet corn to
such an extent that he was Obliged to swear in
the most vigorous manner for five minutes, be-
fore he had sufficiently eascd his mind SO as to
enable him to limp off bare-headcd, and he didn't
get the hat either. The war OF temperance
against the saloons continues to rage, and we had
hoped that some good would come from it, yet
| it pains us to note that whisky is stil 10 cents
Il nip. When the praying women get around
to the Exchange, they will say: civilian. O.
Neil" AS the election approaches we observe
that the noses Of the bummers glow with unus
ual ruddiness, and the checks Of the Street Cor
ner Loafer shine with increased brilliancy. The
reason for all this is that politicians are thick and
candidates are treating. 1.-THE popular amusc-
ment of the boys on sunny days at this season is
marbles. We passed u couple Of urchnS VINO
were discussing grave question said one, BILL
why won't you play with me 2" "Why," answered
Bill, faint fair for me always to be Il win
mug lIOui ono ltllCl hS All iolNSb, N'iiNNlN''
tous gambler Billy stands out in bold relief, and
still he may yet get into Congress-. The anti
temperance movement people are making much
ado about the water power bonds. They object
to everything that relates to water-it's" NATURAL
Isn't it strange that whisky men should not
want little mixed Tin theirs We know from
experience that water IS reimbursement morn
ing lowing TO the coming election and the
necessary agitation Of the water power bonds
people are become terribly profane. Every
where we 90 we hear the expression, "Thesc
water power dam bonds" These dam bonds"
They say our friend the Col across the
Illinois river, says of them emphatically, "These
- - dam bonds Pax Our friend Dan.
Shade the mayor OF Seneca, is still riled at what
we said about the StrcctcrOssings in that village
We limited that thew were so covered with mud
that they could not be found, We apologize. Yes
terday when at Seneca we were enabled to fin
most Of them, and didn't have to dig down more
than a foot either.... On yesterday morning We
were informed that winter Is over by smallsh-
sized bird-Onc of those songstcrs whose forward
feathers are painted redthe little chattercr that
comes along in front OF spring. He alighted
upon our shed at sunrise and told us all about it.
....N Now that King Lunalilo is dead, our chance
as next of kin to become king of the Sandwich
Islands begins to loom up most distinctly. He
claimed, when alive, to be our ,d3Sth cousin. We
have now only 1,637 to SO, you see, and then Wen
be char" jim Cross complains that some of
his hired girls have caught malady which he
calls neutrality-suspicious." and still Jim. sells
meals at the Ottawa House as usual. go. When
we want a square meal we 90 10 Mitchels. He
does not look mad when we come in, but seems
discouraged. When we enter the restaurant he
says: Boys, now hurry up and fry another ham
and that other basket of eggs-here's Beemus.",