Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-08-27

giveness from her, and NOBODY pretended
that had done SO. Neither could ever have
said that humbled myself before Tilton as be.
fore God, except in the sense that both to God
and 10 the man thought had deeply injured l
humbled myself, as l certainly did, but IL IL use
less to analyze paper prepared as this was. The
remainder of my plain statement concerning IL
viii be its best comment. This document was
written on separate halt-sheets o. letter-paper.
After it was finished Moulton asked me If would
sign it, l said no; 1t was not my letter. he re.
piled that it would have more weight II would
in some way indicate that he was authorized to
explain my sentiments. | took my PEN and al
some distance below the writing and upon the
lower margin | indicated that had committed
the document in trust to Moulton. and signed
the line thus written by me. few words as
TO its further fate: Mr.. Moulton, of his own
accord. said that after using II he would In
dam back to and he Cautioned h9 me about dis
closing in any way that there was difficulty be-
tween Mr.. Tilton and me- as it would be injurious
to Tilton TO have u known that had quarreled
afoat. did not trouble myself about 1t untii
more than year afterward, when Mr.. Tilton be-
gan TO write up his case (of which hereaffer) and
was looking mp documents | wondered what
was in the old memorandum, and desired to see
il for greater certainty. SO one day suddenly
asked Mr.. Moulton for that memorandum, and
said: You promised to return 1t to me- lie
seemed confused for a moment, and said: Did
~" Certainly" / answered. He replied that
the paper had been destroyed. On my putting
the question again, he said: That paper was
burned up long ago and during the next two
years in various Conversations of his own accord
he spoke Of II as destroyed | had never asked
for nor authorized the destruction of this paper,
but was not allowed TO know that the docu-
ment WAC in existence until distinguished
editor in New York, within a few weeks past, as
sured me that Mr.. Moulton had shown him the
original, and that he had examined my signature
to be sure of its genuineness. / knew that there
was copy of il since this statement was III prep
aration While ! rejected this memorandum as
my work, an accurate condensation OF my
statement, it does undoubtedly correctly repre-.
sent that / was in profound sorrow, and that
blamed myself with great severity for the disas-
tiers of Tilton's family. / had not then the light
that L now have. There much then that
weighed heavily upon my heart and conscience
which now weighs only on my heart. l have not
the light which analyses and disseminates
things. By one blow there opened before
me, revelation full of anguish; An agon-
lied family, whose inmates had been my
friends, greatly beloved: the husband ruined
in worldly prospects, the household
crumbing 10 pieces: the woman by long
sickness and suffering either corrupted to deceit.
a. her husband alleged, or so broken in mind as
TO be irresponsible, and either way IL was her en-
thusiasm for her pastor, as | was made 10 believe
that was the germ and beginning of the trouble
1t was for me to have forestalled and prevented
that mischief My age and experience in the
world should have put me on my guard. fcould
not at that time tell what was true and what not
true of all the considerations urged upon me by
Tilton and Moulton. There was a grief before
me in which lay those who had been warm friends,
and they alleged that had helped to plunge them
therein. That seemed enough to fill my soul with
sorrow and anguish. No mother who has lost a
child but win understand the wild selfaccusation
that grief produced against all reason, blaming
herself for what things she did do and for what
she neglected to do, and charging upon herself her
neglect or heedessness, the death Of the child
while ordinarily every one knows she had worn
herself out with her assiduities. Soon after this
i met Mr.. Tilton at Moulton's house. Either
Moulton was sick was very late in rising, for
he was in bed. The subject of my feelings and
conduct toward Titon was introduced. | made &
statement of motives under which had acted in
counselng Bowen of my feelings toward Titon's
family, dsclaiming with horror the thought of
wrong, and expressed desire TO do whatever lay
in human power TO remedy any evil had occa-
stoned and to reunite his family. Tilton was
silent and sulleB. He played the part of an
injured man. but MOuiton said TO Tilton with
intense earnestncss, That is all that gentleman
can say and you ought 20 accept il as an honor
able basis of reconciliation This he repeated
two or three times, and Tilton's countcnance
cheered under Moulton's strong talk. We
shook hands and parted in a friendly way
Not very long afterward Tilton asked me to
his house. and said that he should be glad TO
have the good old times renewed.
1 do not remember whether ever took meal
after that under his roof, but certainly was in
vited by him to renew my visits as formerly.
never resumed my intimacy with the family, but
or twice went there soon after my recon
Citation with Tilton, and at his request. par
ticularly remember the scene which took place
at his house when he talked about his wife and
me in a very gracious mood. He began by
mourning his sorrows He was very desoate
The future seemed quite dark. After impressing
us with his great patience he grew generous.
praised me to his wife saying that had taken upon
myself all the blame of past troubles, and had
honorably excnlpated her, and telling me that
his wife likewise had behaved very magnani-
mously, had blamed herself and declared that
was blameless, and be closed his homily with In
creasing hope and cheer, saying that, deep as
was his misery, he hoped that he would come
out In the future more cheerful than nc had
before.
l restrained my smiles at the absurdity of the
thing, well content TO have 1t evaporate so, and
even thinking he was generous in this way This
seemed to me the end of the trouble. With a
sensitive and honorable man, who had no ute
rior designs 10 accomplish, Ii would have been
the burial of the difficulty. / supposed Tilton
mad given up the idea OF Intentional wrong on my
part, and forgiven my unintentional wrong.
plainly understand now, what did not then sus-
pect, that my trouble of mind was to be kept
alive and nourshed, that might be used to
act on my friend In securing from Bowen
the money which Triton claimed 10 be due
as compensation for his expulsion from the
two newspapers. Mr.. Moulton and Mr. Tilton
both stroye TO obliterate from my mind all belief
in the rumors that had been circulated about
Tiltoa. There was much going on In silencing,
explaining, arranging, etc. that did not under
stand then as well as now. OF one thing ! was
convinced, viz: that Tilton had the highest
sense OF marital purity, and that he had never
strayed from the path OF virtue, which pregerVa-
ton he owed, az he told me in a narrative of a
life 10 very solemn scene with his father, who,
on the eve of his leaving home, pointed out TO
snares and evils to be dreaded from unlawful
practices. lie declared that he had always been
kept spotiess by the memory Of that scene. /
was glad TO believe II true, and felt how hard IL
was that he should be made to suffer by evil and
slanderous foes. / could not explain some testi-
mony which had been laid before me, but said
there is undoubtedly some misunderstanding,
and IL knew the whole should find Theodore,
though with obvious faults at heart. sound and
good. These views / often expressed 10 intimate
friends in spite Of their manifest incredulity and
what in the light OF facts must call their we'll
deserved ridcule.
Moulton lost no occasion of presenting to me
the kindest view Of Tilton's character, and, on
the other hand he complained that Mrs. Tilton
did not trust her husband or him. and did not
assist him In his effort to help Theodore know
that she distrusted Moulton, and felt bitterly hurt
by the treatment Of her husband / war urged 10
use my influence with her to inspire confidence
In Moulton and TO lead her TO take a kinder view
OF Theodore. Accordingly. at the instance Of Mr..
MoultoD, three letters were written the same
day, Feb. z. 1871 on one common purpose, to be
shown to Mrs. 1ilton and to reconcile her 10 her
husband and my letter TO her Of that date was de-
signed 10 effect the further or collateral purpose
OF giving her confidence In Mr.. Moulton. This
viii be obvious from the reading of the letters
The following IL the full text my letters OF that
date, from copy verified by one of your Com
mittee. for have not to this hour been permitted
to the originals either Of them or of any other
papers which had deposited with Moulton for
safe keeping:
fFvpu