Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-02
WHYILEFT THE MASONS.

you would leave too, if you got into such
a scrape as | did.
Years ago. when l first Joined, l was
very punctual in my attendance at the
Lodge meetings, much to the disgust of
nv wife, who, with the whole family,
was continually quizzing he about our
doings at our meetings, and upon my
asserting that riding a goat was part
Of my business. they insisted upon know
ing all the particulars about the animal
until, TO silence her. l said would
bring him home and show him Ofeourse
l never intended to keep my promise,
but an unlucky fate ruled otherwise.
One evening about II o'clock. as /
was plodding home from the Lodge, l
heard in advance Of me a continuous pa
thetic bleating. and soon came up with
large goat standing upon the walk who
had evidently lost his bearings and wan
dering away, and being in great grief,
was crying.-''I want to % home
/ l never liked goats, and ny first in
pulse, was to kick this one (and [ have
always regretted l didn't do it, but the
mournful tone Of his voice created lit
tie sympathy for him in my breast. and
I l patted him kindly on the head, and
went on. But the goat followed close
to my heels. and. although Iassured him
his home did not lie this way. but was
probably down the street We had just
crossed, he persisted--As We approach
ed NY home I more earnestly remonstra-
ted with him On his folly. and finally
persuaded him by going with him and
constantly patting him or the rear with
the toe of NY boot, TO return one row.
was much out Of breath myself. and I
said TO the goat. Now. old fellow. sit
down on the curb. and rest yourself
you're tired-I'll be back in q minute
= just want to % round the corner =
and I started On the run. but in mo-
ment the goat was at ny heels l reach
ed home. darted up the steps. opened
the door, and with feeling Of great re-
lief stepped in ; when, to NY horror.
through ny legs into the hall bounded
that goat with a triumphant bleat that
echoed through the upper halls and
chambers, awakening the whole house
hold. The hall lamp was burning bright
II. but up the stairway all vas dark.
and l saw at glance that everything
was arranged for the special convenience
Of gazers from above. The goat had re-
tired 10 the further end Of the hall and
stood facing me. occasionally bleating,
but as l began 10 be somewhat exercised
in my mind about them. cannot say
whether the tones were those Of triumph
or ridicule or of defiance. Whatever
they were. [ declared war at once and
made for the goat, who seemed TO under
stand that | meant business, and he met
NE half way with blow from his head
which staggered me. followingit up with
another and another, till l began to I'm.
agine myself fortress assaulted BY {
small battering ram, and was about II
yield an enemy. when he had driven ms
back to the foot Of the stairs he re
treated to his position at the other END
Of the hall, and again faced ne.
: .Round number one First hit fo
, the goat" came to my ears from aloft
: and as l cast ny eyes upward a peal Q
laughter came tearing down the stairs
and I could just perceive crowd laugh
; ing over the banisters Of both flights
which l knew full well was made up 0
wife, children. a waggish young friend
who lived with Us, two visitors and tn
{ servants, full audience in the dres
circle, looking down into the pit to Sc
. the fun.
.4Oh, Pas brought home the goat,
said one Of the children.
t ..Yes. and he's practicing with it.
r said another.
(which degree is that performane
= in % asked ny wife
| Glad we didn't 20 to the theater tt
i night" chimed in one Of NY visitors.
Time Time shouted my youn
e friend from the upper tier. and though
7 80 too. and I went for the second round
But now changed NY tactics | ad
: vaneed slowly, keeping close 70 the wa
}" and endeaTored TO get behind the beas
e thinking would try the pats On hi
rear with my boots again. in hopes the
= would calm him and persuade him TO II
3 tire. as they had done before ont doors
II but he evidently objected 10 .'change {
It base" and once more charged home
I upon ne.
: This time | caught him By the horn
and the struggle commenced in earnos
!. The goat lifted up his voice in loud pr
{. testations Of foul play, and | opene
v ny mouth and gave utteranoe to hops
Z and wishes in regard to the goats
D D general and this one in particular. whic
: it might not be proper to repeat here.
E / had my hands % full at the time tE'
| could not give my usual thought al
5 attention TO the selection Of the elegal
IN words and expressions which usual
7. cbsraeterize nv conversation. / final