Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-02-10


up my boots, thinking to put them
in more convenient place, when
down my one leg went through a
pipe-hole, which had been covered
with paper, up to my hip.
"Now one part of Inc was up
stairs while the longest part Of me
was in the kitchen.
"As my leg was very long it
reached a shelf which was 'eupied
by dishes, pans, cotFee-pots, etc,
and turned it over with tremen-
dous crash.
"The girls had not yet retired,
and we could hear them laugh fit
to kill themselves.
81 felt awful ashamed, and was
scared until my heart was in my
throat, for l expected the old man
every moment.
II extracted my leg from that
confouuded hole just in time, for
the old lady looked into the kitcf-
en- from her room door, and asked
what all that noise was aboutl'
"The girls put her off as best they
could, and l went to bed, while
John was strangling himself under
the hed-clothes TO keep from laugh
ing aloud.
"We soon went of into the land
Of dreams with the hope of waking
early. l wish l could tell you my
dreams but it would take me too
iong. One moment I would fancy
myself by the side Of Sadie, sip
ping nectar from her heaven-be-
dewed lips, and the next | would
be flying from theold man, and hi
would be brandishing his cane above
my head.
"This all came to an end by Johr
giving me kick.
"On waking up and looking
around ! saw Johns eyes as larg'
as soup-plates, and the sun wa
shining in at the window.
"What to do we couldn't tell, TO
we heard the head of the hous,
having family worship in the kitch
en-.
"John looked out of the windov
, and said we could get down over tn
porch roof
"Get up said he 'and dress a
soon as possible
$50 in my hurry my foot go
fastened in the bed clothes, and
tumbled, head-foremost, turned ov
er. and down the steps l went unit
| struck the door, which was fast
ened by q woollen button, and i
giving way, l rolled in front of tn,
old man.
ale threw up his hands and cri
ed out, Lord save usv for h,
thought I was the devil.
"The old lady screamed until sh,
could have been heard q mile.
II was 50 scared and bewildereC
that l could not get up at once. l
was warm weather and I didn'
have anything on but a shirt.
"When | heard the girls snicher
ing it made me mad, and l jumpet
up and rushed out of the door
leaving the greater part of my shir
on the old iron latch.
"Of | started for the barn, ant
when half way through the yar(
the dog set up howl and went fol
me.
"When l got to the harm yard
had to run through a flock of sheep
and among them was an old ram
whe backed off q little and started
for me. With one bound | escaped
his blow, sprang into the harm, ant
began to climb up the logs into the
NOW, when an old mother her
pounced upon my legs, picking
them until they bled.
~ threw myself upon the hay
and after John had slid down the
porch into a hogshead of rain-water
he came TO me with one of my
boots, my coat, and one of the legs
of my pants.
Gle found me completely pros.
tlated. Part Of my shirt, my hat
one leg OF my pants, my vest
stockings, necktie and one boot
was left behind.
IL vowed then and there that
would never GO to see another girl
and I'll die before | will.
The editor attended church the