davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
WHAT MIGHT HAZE BEEN.


The Boston Saturday Gazette remarks It
is very fortunate thing that the Siamesc
twins were law-abiding citizens. Had they
not been, they would have given the author
tiles no end of trouble. In fact, it seems to
us that they would have committed all sorts
of crimes with impunity, had they been SO IN
clined. If Chang had committed an assault,
how would it have been possible to have ar
rested him without arresting Eng also and
had Eng been entirely innocent of all partici-
patton in tie affair, why should he have been
arrested? In order to punish the guilty, it
would have been necessary to punish the in
nocent also; and locking up Chang would
have included locking up Eng. We do not
see any way out of the dilemma that would
have arisen, except temporary one and that
is the combining of Eng as a witness. But
when it comes to furnishing the innocent party
justice would have been nonplussed, for the
law does not permit an innocent party to suf-
fer for crimes he has not committed. If Eng,
on the other hand, had perpetrated a murder,
he could never have been hanged, no matter
how strong and conclusive the evidence had
been against him. He could not have been
imprisoned for life, for in these instances it
would have necessitated the death or the life
long confinement of the unoffending Chang,
who, having separate identity, could have
obtained a writ of ha6eas corpus, and demand
ed his liberty. Had one of these twins been
a rogue, he would have, therefore, caused no
end of embarrassment to the officers of JUS
tice. If Chang We're drunk or disorderly II
the Streets what policeman could have arrest
ed him without laying himself open to q
charge of false imprisonment from the unof-
tending Eng? Had these twins been evil
minded, and conscious of the perplexities
they could have originated, there is no know
ing what might have happened. Tho law
would have been powerless, for vice must
have triumphed and virtue been oppressed, or
virtue triumphed and vice gone UNPUBLISHED
Twins of this description are by no means de.
sirable under such possible contingencies.
1t appears that some such difficulty as sug
gested by the Gazetto actually arose, though
we are not informed as to what came of it. A
Salem, Mass, newspaper recalls the fact thai
the Siamese twins were arrested at Lynnfield
Mass, in August, 1881, for breach of til,
peace. While staying for a few days at TIN
hotel, enjoying themselves fishing on the pom
! and shooting in the woods, with youn
Englshman as an attendant, they wer
much annoyed by the eager curiosity of visit
ors, who disturbed their intended seelusion-
Colonel Elbridge Gerry, and Mr.. Prescott
of Stoneham, went toward them in a feel
but were warned to keep away. Irritatil
words followed, and the twins after firing
bland cartridge, struck the Colonel with Il
butt of gun. 1t seems that they acted co
jointly, and each was particeps cr5n,inis vii
the other.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
RETBIBUTI0N rs SURE.

Years ago, we knew man who, as the
world some times terms it, was it luck. He
was making money with great rapidity by
keeping o drinking and gambling shop. Day
after day, and night after night, his place
was open, and innumerable Inducements we're
thrown out to cnsnare those whose weakness
allowed them to enter within the brazen por-
tais Of his hellish den. Many poor man was
robbed Of his earnings there and then Kicked
out when his last cont was grabbed and
many others plunged into drupkard's grave
by the poisonous connections sold from over
his bar! Many broken-hearted woman has
met with rcbuke at his door, and driven away
amid the wild curses of this earthly Demon
Even the orphans tears affected not his hard
cned heart, and were banished from his sight
by his vile moc.Sesy. He grew rich--yes ;and
could count his earthly gains by the thou
sands. Around him was everything that hc
needed for his comfort and welfare, and lpg
thought or cared not for the many homes he
had made desolate and fatherless, and the
graves he had filed with anrcdecmed drunk
ards
Years passed by and he retired from bust
ness, and looked with contempt upon those
whom he had robbed. But adversely came to
him at last, and in that awful hour followed
desolaton and woe. Far easier than he Rad
made it did his ill-gotten gains vanish. Bit
ter, indeed, was his anguish when he, too, be-
came homeless. Driven mad by the thought
of his just fate he even cursed his God and
babe defiance to the Almighty Ruler!
We know him to-day poor, miserable,
speechless wretch, unable even to raise his
arms to his head /; paralyzed and nerveless,
awaiting and drcading his awful doom
"The mills of God grind slowly
But they grind exceeding small
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

| PARROTS IN AFRIcA.-The Colonial Jour.
nal relates: In the vicinity of the village
of Kong Island, in Gaboon River, Africa,
there is stupendous cotton-tree, the wide
spread and gigantic arms of which have
served, time immemorial, as lodging-place,
not only for the parrots belonging to this part
of the country, but Que might be tempted to
believe, for all in Africa. These birds usually
spend an hour or more in adjusting them
selves in their proper places at night, during
which time they keep up such a loud and in
cessant screaming that you cannot be heard
anywhere in the vicinity without raising the
voice considerably above the ordinary pitch.
AT length they are quietly seated, when they
commence what very closely resembles a
musical concert this they continue about in
hour longer At regular intervals during the
night they sing out as if they were keeping
watch. The natives say the concerts have
been borrowed from them and the practice
of keeping watch they suppose to have been
derived from vessels lying at anchor in the
river. These conjectures will not appear i'm
probable to those who are acquainted with the
singular aptitude Of these birds to catch and
initiate the sounds of the human voice. They
are never molested their powers of utter
ance, in the estimation of the African, are so
close an approximation of human speech that
to kill and eat them would be almost equiva-
lent to murder and cannbalism.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
a BAD JoB.


Up in Blossbury the other day lightning
rod man drove up in front of handsome edi
flee standing in the midst Of trees and shrubs
and spoke to Mr. Summers, who was sittin.
on the steps in front. He accosted SUMMER
as the owner of the residence, and said
~ see You have no lightning rods on thi
house,
mo-" said Summers.
Are you going to put any on?'
swell, hadn't thought of it," replied
Summers.
You ought to. A tall building like this
is very much exposed I'd like to run up one
of my rods; twisted steel, glass Tenders,
nickle-plated tips--everything complete. May
put one up to show your I'll do the job
cheap"
"Certainly you may, if you want to. |
haven't the slightest objection" said Sum-
mers.
During the next half-hour the man had his
ladders up and his assistants at work, and at
the end of that time the Job was done. He
called Summers out into the yard to admire it.
He said to Summers
Now, that is all well enough, but il it was
my house I'd have another rod put on the
other side. There's nothing like being pro-
tected thoroughly"
"That's true" said Summers, cit would
be better.,'
"Pll put up another, shall Iq" asked tho
man.
"Why, of course, if you think it's best. y
said Summers
Accordingly the men went to work, and
soon had the rod in it's place.
"That is first-rate job, he said to Sum-
mers, as they both stood cycling it, 81 like
such man as you are. Big hearted liberal,
not afraid TO put dollar down for good
thing. There's some pleasure in dealn' with
you. | like you so much that I'd put a
couple more rods on that house-one on the
nothin''
1T would make things safer, l suppose, -
said Summers.
Certainly it would. I'd better do it,
hadn't I-hey?"
",Iust as You think proper" said Summers.
So the man ran up two more rods, and then
he came down and said to Summers, "There,
that's done. Now let's settle up"
"Do what?'
"Why, the jobs finished, and now I'll take
my money"
"You don't expect me to pay you,
hope ?''
OF course / do. Didn't you tell mo t
put those rods on your house? ''
"My house!'' shouted Summers Thur
der and lightning! I never ordered you /
put those rods up. 1t would have bee
ridiculous. Why, man, this is the coui
house. and I'm here waiting for the court t
assemble. I'm on the jury You seemed t
be anxious to rush out your rods, and as
was none of my business, | let you go OF
Pay for it !! Come now, that's pretty good.
The Blossburg people say that the name
in which that lightning-rod man tore aroun,
town was fearful. But when he got his rod
off the court house he left permanently. II
don't fancy the place. adler.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

The WONDERS OF AN OysTER-Open am
oyster, retain the liquor in the lower or deep
shell, and if viewed through microscope, it
will be found to contain multitudes of small
oysters, covered with shells and swimming
nimbly about--one hundred and twenty Of
which extend but one inch. Besides these
young oysters, the liquor contains variety
OF animalcule and myriads of three distinct
species OF worms. Sometimes their light re-
sembles blush star about the centre Of the
shell, which will be luminous in dark room.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

Mr.. Talmage, in his paper, The Christian at
Work, hits the target right in the centre.
when he says: "The Church is vet to learn
that its chief work is to be done by consecra-
ted men of ordinary calibre. Great speeches
never marshaled host. An eminent Scotch
divine getting into the pulpit after a weeks
elaboration of a learned discourse forgot #
entirely, and was compelled to give a plain
talk which, under God, swept half his audi
ence into the kingdom. There is an absurd
call in the Church to-day for what are called
"big guns, and but little appreciation of
well-loaded rifles. The "Swamp Angel, in
the last war was failure. 1t proposed to do
great things, but after awhile they found il
was cracked, and were afraid to use it lest If
blow up. So while men Of but sinai. capacity
are doing their work well, and MAGE no fuss
about it, we have few ssbir guns, half
cracked with conceit about themselves. and
they blow up just when they are wanted for
an important SERVICE"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

PEARLs.-Thc man who is true to his fami-
ly, to his friends, and to his country, NAV be
trusted implicitly.
Give work rather than give aims to the
poor. The former drives out Incidence, the
latter industry
Experience is one Of the oldest and best
teachers, but her charges aredroadfully exact
ing and ruinously high.
1t is the man who determines the dignity
OF the occupation. not the occupation which
measures the dignity of the man.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

MAKING FAT PERSONS LEAN.--Drink only
water, or for change, water with little
vinegar; no beer, or any malt liquors, wine,
soup, broth, milk, and especially no sugar or
starchy preparation; no fine flour, no fat
meat, no butter no cheese, no sweetmeats.
Now we expect you will ask what is left then
to eat? We answer plenty of fresh fruit and
green vegetables, especially salads, breads OF
unbolted flours without yeast, and no animal
food except lean meat smoked beef, tongue
etc. AS carniverous animals are never fat, il
proves that starchy food is the main enemy tx
be avoided.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

A gentleman in Virginia, when exerting.
himself one day, felt a sudsien pain, and fear
ing some internal injury, sent for negro on
the plantation, who made pretentions to med
ical skill to prescribe for him. The negro,
having sasely investigated the case, prepared
and administered dose with the utmost con-
fidence Of a speedy cure. No relief being
obtained, however, q regular physician was
sent for who, on arriving, inquired of the
negro what lie had given him. Sambo
promptly responded, "Rosin and alum, sir?''
What did you give them for 20 continued
the doctor. "Why," replied Sambo, ode
alum to draw de parts toeedder and de rosin
to solder 'em''
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

An Oregon farmer, to request to join the
Patrons of Husbandry. remarked: ~ can't
line the grange" lam sorry" was the re-
ply; 1--WE have counted on you." .NoI
can't jine, f" said tho voter, 'sbecause they've
let the women in, and they'll work it round
so as to get a vote, directly, and won't have
nuthin' to do with it. The women is rettn,
above their privileges, any way. They don,t
stay at home enough now, as st. Paul COM
manded, and tell you I won't have nothin,
to do with granges''
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

ORIGIN OF THE TERM " PRINTER's DEVIL
When Aldus Manutus set up in business as
printer in Venice, he came in possession of
little negro boy. This boy was soon known
all over the city as :" the little black DEVIL
for at that time, negroes were not often seen
in Venice, and some of the most ignorant peo-
pie believed him to be either an embodiment
or an emissary of Satan, who aided Aldus in
the work of his profession. One day Manu-
thus, desiring to dispel this strange and
spreading opinion, displayed the young imp
publicly to the poorer classes, making this
short but characteristic speech "Bo it
known to you, and to all Venice, that I, AL
dus Manutius printer to the Holy Church and
the Doge, have this day made exposure to all
of the printer dceit, and if any think he is
not like u.s. flesh and blood, they may come
and pinch him, and they will find that though
he is black, he is human
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
TIE LOVE or GOD.

Like cradle rocking rocking,
Silent, peaceful to and FRO
Like mothers sweet looks dropping
On the little face below
Hangs the green earth, swinging, turning
Jarless, noiseless safe and SLOW
Fails the light of Gods lace bending
Down and Watching us below.
And as feeble babes that suffer,
Toss and cry, and will not rest,
Are the ones the tender mother
Holds the closest, loves the best,
SO when we are weak and wretched,
BY our sins weighed down, distressed,
Then It is that Gods great patience
Holds us closest, loves us best.
o great heart Of God whose loving
Cannot hindered be nor crossed
Will not weary, will not even
In out death Itself be lost
Love Divine-of such great loving,
Only mothers know the cost
Cost Of love, which, all love passing,
Gave Son to save the lost
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
POETRY.
DAILY WORK.

In the name of God advancing,
Sow thy seed at morning bright;
Cheerily the burrows turning,
Labor on with all thy might.
Look not to the far-oif future.
Do the work which nearest lies:
Sow thou must before thou realcst.
Rest at last is labor's prize.
Standing still is dangerous ever,
Ion Is meant for Christians now;
Lei there be, when evening cometh,
Honest sweat upon thy brow:
And the master shall come smiling,
AT the setting of the sun,
Saying, as he pays the wages,
Good and faithful one, well done"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

!" Are you very fond of novels Mr.. Jones p,
very" responded that interrogated eent,e-
man. who wished to be thought by the LADY,
questioner fond of literature ssHave Won j,
continued the lady, ever read Ten Thou.and
Year, No, madam, I never read SO MANY
in all my life." 81 Il
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

President Mott, in his wise old age, once
took newly married pair aside, and said -
~ want to give you this advice, my children.
Don't try to be happy. Happiness is a shy
nymph and il you chase her you will never
catch her. But just 60 quietly on and do
your duty, and she will come to you"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
TIE powER or MUSIC.


In listening to the music of the great mas
tiers, what rapturous flights of sound what
pathetic chimes what expressions of woe
in short, what an embodiment of all the
feelings of suffering and rejoicing humanity,
sympathizcd with, and furnished with a
voice and elegant tongue, in these grand
creations of human genius. How the chorus
strikes on the ear in crashes of thunder at
one moment out of which instantly starts
solitary trumpet Of doom Again the chorus
swells and dies like the wind of summer !;
anon we listen to intricate and mystic pas
sages of music, which wave to and fro like
the swinging of branches of trees in the
storm then again cease as ii q lull had oc-
CURED in the hurricane, and some solitary
voice darts off like bird out of the trees, and
floats upon the air, and sings sweet solo in
the warm sunshine. Poetry, painting, and
music are three great interpreters of nature,
each disclosing some hidden beauty, some
inner excellency, some long concealed hero
glyphic; but OF the three music is the
mightiest, the purest, heavenlist. Painting
is nature, smiling, resting, moving, beautiful !;
poetry is nature speaking, whispering, laugh
ing, crying, day unto day uttering speech,
and night unto night showing knowledge"
Music is nature rendering forth those deep and
abysmal feelings which the first two are una
bic to representative singing what poetry
says and painting seems--the three witnesses
To the LOGS of n heuutv and ylorv an,I ,,or
lection, that are gone, but prophets, and
earnests and nstalments of a glory, and beau
ty, and perfection, that are promised.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

A drunken Irishman was found by his
friends, the other night lying in the snow,
with his heels upon the fence, warming his
toes by moonlight. He was muttering
what cowld fire you have got, Biddy,
darling have on some carrysanc or my fut
will fraze. "-Elizabeth Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

Faith wins the battles of life, Hope beau
titles them, and Charity makes them immor-
tall
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

Philanthropy is not religion, but there is no
religion without philanthropy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25

A good, true heart, is better than a silver
tongue. ass a.-nxsr
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
CHAS. "A. SKILLMAN,

CHAS. a. SKILLMAN,
COUNSELOR-AT -L-ANW
Office over Lambcrtvillc National Bank.
Practices in all the Courts Of the State.
Collections will receive prompt attention.
Lambertville, Sept. -, 1872.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-03-12
SMALLPOX.

Smallpox, speaking non-medicalIy,
takes fourteen days to incubate. Its
symptoms commence with severe weak
ness and pain in the small of the back,
which the uhsUspecting victim attrib-
utes in some way to the kidneys The
system becomes feverish and the spirits
unusually depressed. Before the dis
ease really manifests itself, and at a
point where no physician can diagnose
1.-THE symptoms being so similar to
scarlet fever, measles and other dis
eases-the sufferer complains of feverish
symptoms, severe headache, insupport-
able lassitude, loss of appetite-in
short, the unmistakable signs of an ap-
preaching malady which is to shake the
system to its base, and test the powers
of vitality and strength TO their utmost
tension. Then breaks out the unmis
taxable eruption which marks the fell
destroyer, and it is then that the friends
of the patient should either have him
removed, or at least guard the sick
room that the contagion may be kept
within the closest limits. If there is no
hospital near, flag should at once be
hoisted to indicate to passers by that
the lintels of that door have been
brushed by the destroying angel.
Every man is liable to small l-pox,
even a second time-some more than
others; and it is a well authenticated
fact that the mind has an immense deal
to do not only with the liability to con-
troll infection, but with the power to
Withstand the shock. Fear may be
called the greatest friend, next to a GER
tain habit of body, which the smallpox
has. A man has been known to catch
it b, simply seeing a case upon the other
side of road, which had been dis
missed from a hospital cured and he
has felt that peculiar shudder, which
veterans will tell you they remember to
have experienced at the moment from
poison into their system.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-03-12
Lie eHosr rHAr IIm sAIv.
By BRET HARTE.

By BRET HARTE.
.. Why, as to that" said the engineer,
: -onosts o.osts am things We are apt TO fear.
And throttle-valves don't take to such;
What happened 20 him
Was one-half fact ana tOther half whim
''Ruuning ole night on the line, lie saw
no lne-as plain Is the moral law
Just by the mooniit bank. and thenca
Cane druuken man.vrith no more sense
Than to drop on the rail,
Flat a hail,
As Jim drove by with the midnight mail J
Down went the patents. Steam reversed
Too laiei FOR there came sthud' J m cursed
A. Tie Fireman, there IN the cab with him,
And says what nowT
Says JinI, what now
I've just run over a man-thats howH
"l,he fireman stared at Jim. They ran
Back. but they never found house nor man
Nary shadow within mile.
Jim turned pale, but he tried to smile
Then on he tore
Ten mile or more,
In quicker time than he'd made afore-
TJp rose that hoass 10 the rsssssii,.i1t 1Shits
out cOsnes the chap and drops Is before,
Aud 50, in fact,
Each night that act
Occurred, tiil folks sWore Jim was cracked.
"H "Hamphi Let me see it's year now. most,
That I met Jim, east, and says, 'HoW's you
Gone, said jim and more it's plain
That ghost dons trouble me again >
thought shook
That ghost when took
place on the eastern line but look:
81 What should meet the frat trip out
But that very house that we talked about,
And that self-same man Well says ], Il guess
It's time 10 stop this yer foOliahness,
50 craInnned on steam,
When there came a scream
From my hreman-and it broke my dream
% You've killed somebody ? Says I, Not much;
I've been there often and thar amt no such,
And now III prove it, Back We ran,
And-darn my skin i-but thar lUds a man
On the rail, dead,
Smashed in the head
Now call that meanness That's all Jim said.D