The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-11-14

Laid bv n goose that had mission
And had deserted 1t: so she
Sat down on il 20 hold possession.
She liked its looks; twas smooth and white;
So needless of the baleful comet,
She sat and sat. till 10. one night
A tiny gosling iutiered from IT.
The old goose saw, and wept abound,
who broke my darling toyY she driycled
j s'pose must have been too proud"
And wiped her eyes and gently sniyccd.
! cannot lie" said chckeybid
Go, make another one to match it.;
Hho mashed that shell? you bet did
did 1t with my little hatch it,"
CARDS IN HOME LANGUAGE.-A gentleman
our acquaintance found the other night,
lch to his surprise, that his wife knew
netting about draw poker. The way OF
was this; The couple have two fine boy
bies. Seeing them asleep in the same bed
admiring father wondered if anybody
d better pair than that. The wife thought
I. The husband then said, speaking In
rabies as he thought, "lt we could draw
rec queens we would have full that
build be hard to beat" And the lady
omptly replied "Excnse me, it you please;
I'll stand pat on the pair we have ."-Pddu-
hentucLi,,H.
When Vanderbilt travels, his special train
es "A mile IN something less than minute
case of a fatal accident he would doubtless
ke 10 have the world know that nc went to
hat'sthc .namc-ofth atplace minute and
II quicker than any other man ever did.
party of young men were out screnading
few nights since. They sat on the pave
ent whlch had been recently paved with a
solution Next morning the rear of six
II Of pants dotted the walk, and music is
ard no more around that cottage
Joshua" said Quiz landlady to her hope
|, at breakfast yesterday; Joshua, what is
heir apparoatY' "There's one 0G the but
r, mother the untlial youngster
nd the odd H lit upon HIM with the
flee pot
A little hos c..idn't remember the text eX
Etly, but Auu ,t it was something about a
lwk betwy.. 20 pigeons. 1t was, why
bit We be a,on ,WO opinions"
"Breakftsj .r ninety-nine," ssid a waiter
a verdIi clerk at ii hotel not long
20. "Thual"r" said the clerk, 1--WE can't
it," Tho waiter explained that ninety.
ne was l,lC d utlDcr OF inc room.
4 Fair Haven saloon keeper recently re
lsed to sell Il tcn-cent bar OF soap to a little
! Sunday, sent the little girl for some wills
and some beer, and then prosecuted the
caller for selling contrary to law.
\ fellow who hid under Il sofa at an infor.
pal Boston missionary society meeting, says
lat the thirty-fve ladies spoke twice of the
Own-trOdden heather and alore than a han
red Of Tie new kind of hair dye,
A party of adventurous Michigandcrs cross
u Lake Huron last week in an open boat. A
Milwaukee man, seated IN the bow, with ears
rect, furnished the sail necessary.
| The meanest thing we know of that &c
| urred this disastrous week, WAS the attempt
f some Of our contemporaries to borrow our
poster Everybody knows what they wanted
b use It for.-JoItet Sun.
a romantic young NAN recently cloped
\ it'll Miss Waters, the daughter of Il veal
hy New York merchant. lie doubtless ex-
Perienced in accordance with the old maxim
Stolen waters are sweet"-7l}0st0n GloJe.
An Illinois girl drugged her father and
bother the other night, vixen she expected
Ter lover, who is deaf and talks in loud
foce, and 1t was forty-cight hours before the
RoctOr could bring the old folks out of 1t.
\ youth who attended Scotch revival
heetng for the fun of the thing, inquired OF!
he minister whether he could work mira
Pie or not" The young mans curiosity was
|ully satisfied by the minister kicking him
put OF the church, with the maledictory 1--WE
bannot work mIrcles but We can cast out
lewis"
An inquisitive chap stepped into u marble
hop the other day, where Smith was about
the sculpture OF a lamb. Did
you cut up that animalE' asked the interrog
ltion point. "Oh, no. said Smith, 1.-THE lamb
las been there all the time; | only took the
marble from around hlm-that : all.
\ shrewIsh wife, being very III, called her
husband to come and sit by her bedside /
This is sad world, my dear" said the wife .
)laintivey. Very" cOnsidere1 the man.
Were it not for you ! should love to quit it,
oh, my dear" eagerly responded the hus-
'and, Glow could you think l would inter
ere with your happiness: Go, by2ll me ans I"
The lady got well.
NEVADA SCHOOL SCESE.-Tkree little
'lute Indians attend the Silver City public J.
"hSoL Unlike the majority of VI
Warranted winter wheat -four $500 per hun
d-ed pounds, at Woods Eagle Mills.
The anti-secrct society men of La Sale cour
ty were poorly represented in the county COZ
yention, in this city, On Thursday last, No da
session was held. IN the evening r. H. II. Hi
man, of Farm Ridge, addressed a small audience
Prof Blanchard did not put in an appearance.
Child Il Cos Davenport boots at Child 9
Phipps'.
While out hunting between Saturday nigh
and Monday morning last, Pete Meyer crept NJ
70 what he supposed was goose in the weed
rsaor ,,I,,. MIN pf Pete