National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1874-05-30
The Book Campasse'.
ny JOSH KILLINGS.

ner WIN my Iaiil'y, VIZ" '"'o'"'
that thare waz q gentleman in the
parlor who must see me imegiately
on very important dizziness.
fastening from the table, found
myself in the presence ov q plainly
drest but very nervous man, who
informed me that he waz canvass
ing mi disrikt for the sale of Doctor
Erastus Spignot's new work, entitl.
ed the "Normal Circulashun ov the
Blood"
| at once informed the man that !
did not want the work.
He then begun a long ackount of
It's value and Importance to every
human being, when broke in upon
his cloqunce hi repeating that / did
not want the work.
He continued by telling me- that
no library would be komplete with
out it. Again declared in the
most posatitf terms that i did not
want the work.
At this point the stranger seated
himself in a chair, and deliberately
drew the book in question out ov
biz satchel, and informed me that
no gentleman to whom he had offer.
ed it had failed to subscribe.
Growing desperate, i declared i'll
the most emphatick tones that i
would not hav the book at any price.
Rising from his chair, he took oph
biz overcut, and, throwing it care
lessly on the sofa, struck an attitude,
and for ten minutes gave the most
glowing ackount ov the cirkulashun
ov the blood and the anatomy Ov
man that ever listened to.
| once more assured him, in be-
seeching manner, that did not
want the book.
Seating himself again in the chair,
and wiping the drops ov perspiras'
hen from hiz brow, he went back to
the days of Adam and Eve, and for
half an hour talked az no human
ever talked before on the various
diseases the human sistem waz sub
.ject to, closing up with a vivid resi-
tai ov the cirknlashen ov the blood.
Again i insisted upon it that the
book would be Ov no use to me, and
that would not hav it.
Springing from his seat, with the
book in his hand and his eyes flash
ing fire and hiz whole manner in.
tense, he began to sho me it's kohl
tedts. commencing at the title,page.
saw at last that it was wuss
than madness to resist emmy longer,
so subscribed for the book, conso
lating myself with the rcfeck shun
thai if ever had a book to sell my
self i would hav it sold hi subscrip.
shun.
The more think ov it, am so de
lifted with the pious energy and long
suffering ov the book canvasser,
that l wouldn't think ov selling a
book emmy other way.
He IL a man whom you kant es-
kape emmy more then yu kan yure
own shaddo; he follows his within
like ghost and hangs around
him grinning like an undertaken.
The only way to get lid ov him is
to subscribe at once, and let him go
for the next phellow.
The shaving sope man and the
life insurance agent are very good
in their way but they don't kOmpare
with the book canvasser for lively
work emmy more than the pensive
cockroach duz to the red-hot mus.
keeto.
They steal on yu like a kat on a
mouse, when you amt looking for
them, and, like the fly in the spiders
web, the more yu tri to get out the
further yu git in.
l luv the book canvaSser now hiz
words are like bunny in the comb,
and hiz logick il like sweet lie, and
tho he may sell me a book don't
want, and wont hav, thare liz real
plum in the way that he duz it.
l subscribe now, at least Ouce a
year, for sum kind ov a book, that
never look into, with title to it az
long az the tail ov kat, just be-
kause the book canvasser il so po-
lite and so utterly impossible to get
ria ov.-N. Y. Weekly
DEFINING A MASON. Two brick
layers were discussing the merits
and damaritS of Free Masonry.