Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-08-06
Aumuruus department.
NAKED JUSTICE ON A GATE POST.

NAKED JUSTICE ON A GATE POST.
Our old friend, Judge Tom Farrar, of Lake
Providence, says the New Orleans Picayune
who is known Throughout the State as a law
yer and jurist of eminent abilities, and a gen
tleman of most lovable character, tells at his
own expense, and with the keenest gusto, q
story which we think too good to lose. II
appears that some years ago, while riding
through one of the prettiest districts of North
Louisiana, he came, about sundown, to a
creek which was so deep as to necessitate
swimming feat. The Jud dge, being man of
vigorous and invincible determination, no
sooner realized this emergency than he prompt.
ly dismounted, undressed himself with great
dispatch, and, attired only in his high plug
hat and pair of spectacles, bestrode his gal,
liant cob and urged him to the venture.
After desperate struggle the other side was
gained, and the Judge again dismounting
this time with profound sigh of relief, was
about to resume his integuments, when the
horse, prompted by some diabolical spirit
started from his side and trotted slowly down
the road.
Of course, the Judge had no recourse but to
trot after him, and thereupon there ensued one
of the most remarkable and picturesque
chases ever known in history or tradition. The
horse appeared to have no motive save that
of keeping certain distance ahead of the
Judge and of finding some comfortable barn
yard where he might refresh himself after
such gigantic efforts. The Judge, whatever
may have been his ambition, confined HIM
self to the effort of keeping the truant beast in
sight. 1t must have been a cheerful and in
vigorating experience to see the Judge trot-
ting briskly along that smooth and sandy road,
his venerable plug hat pulled over his eyes, and
his spectacles bobbing up and down upon his
nose. The chase was long, and the moisture
of great exertion would gather on his brow,
and then when he reached around for his
handkerchief, alas it was not there. All OF
which had the effect of impressing the Judge
with his very peculiar and unfortunate situa.
ton, and imparting renewed play and lightness
to his legs.
So the two bowled pleasantly along, pre-
serving steady relative distance, until just
as the setting sun was reddening the distant
hills and touching the Judges manly form
with gold, the horse whsked suddenly into
gate and bolted with eager haste toward a
stable dimly visible in the distance.
The farm house sat in grove of trees whose
shadows made great darkness round it, and
from this grove, as the Judge was scampering
fnriously after his horse and wardrobe, there
issued sundry yellow dogs surly of mein and
shaggy of appearance. The Judge felt that
it would be utterly impossible, under these cir
cumstances, to assume that majesty of aspect
and fearlessness of gaze which is currently be.
lieved to be the correct thing with dogs, and
so, seeing friendly gate post near at hand,
he gave one wild bound and reached its sum.
NIT Just as the leanest and fercest of the
dogs snapped viciously at his legs.
When the uproar had subsidized and the
Judge, realizing the absurdity Of the situation,
had regained his customary frame of mind,
a female voice was heard calling from the
house: :,
"Whos there?"
"a fellow creature in distress, madam"
"Where are you?"
"On the gate post, said the Judge, begin
ming to enjoy the joke.
"What can I do for your"
1t was too much. The Judges old humor
and quizzcal love of merriment came over
him.
"Call off these dogs and bring me all the
fig leaves on the place"
Aay We we're told by celebrated naval
officer the following anecdote: On one of his
cruises the sailors saw comet and were
somewhat surprised and alarmed at its ap.
pearance. The hands met and appointed q
committee to wait upon the commander and
ask his opinion of it. They approached him
and said:
"We want to ask your opinion, your hon
or"
"Well, my boys, what is it about?'
1--WE want to inquire about that thing up
there"
"Now, before I answer O u, let me know
what you think oft"
"Well, your honor, we have talked it all
over and we think it is star sprung leak. "
WHArs IN A NAME?-The Buffalo Globe
has pleasant column upon the popularity
of the names of business firms, such as the
teachers Biggs & Hugs who advertised ex-
plcitly in their circular that "Biggs teaches
the boys and Hugs the girls;' the firm of
plumbers who seemed gratiGed to hurry up
Jobs by working the whole twenty-four hours,
Day & Night; also Fish & Ketchum. A
halter by the name Of A. Guhn died leaving
his business to his son James, who advertised
as James Guhn, Son of A. Guhn." The
Plain Dealer says Cleveland for many years
had firm whose large sign was conspicuous,
and it was supposed to do larger business
than any firm in the city-every body seemed
to patronize it. The firm was "Fever q
Ague."
HIS NAME.-The following colloquy took
place at an Eastern post-ofice: II say, Mr..
Postmaster, is there ltther for me" "Who
are you, my good sir?" "I'm meself; that's
who ann 'Well, what is your name p
can what do you want wild the name? Isn't
it on the litther?" II want to find the letter
if there is one." "Well, Pat Byrne, thin, il
ye must have it." "No, sir, there is none for
Pat Byrne" "Is there no way to get in there
but through this pane Of glass?" mo, sir. !"
"It's we'll for ye there isn't I'd teach ye bet
ter manners than to insist on gentleman's
name. But ye didn't git it, after all so I'm
even wild ye; sorra bit is me name Byrne.
A CHEAP CoAT.-A young Boston me-
chanic saw an overcoat in a secondhand cloth
ing store which he thought he would be glad
to possess at reasonable price, GLOW much p
he asked. "Twenty.one dollars" was the
answer. The usual haggling took place, and
the mechanic started to leave the store
"How much you gif?" asked the merchant
"Three dollars" "Take it, then. shall
shurst be ruin of myself. [ only make two