The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-12-31
ODDS AND ENDS.

| WHAT Is that which increases the
effect by diminishing the cause? A pair
of snufers.
Is it possible for a spotted dog to be
anything but spotted dog? Perhaps he
might be greyhound.
WHY is moth fluttering round a
candle like man getting off horse?
Because they are going to a-light!
WHEN your door-bell is pulled by
friend you have invited to dinner, may
that be called an engagement-ring?
"WHAT are you looking so sharply at
that elephant for?" "TO see if I can
discover the keyhole to his trunk"
A BRILLIANT young married lady
wants to know if it is bigamy for man
to become welded to his wife's opinions.
A TENNESSEE funeral was delayed for
half an hour to allow a horse trade.
Business before pleasure was the motto.
LIFE seems a great deal brighter to us
since reading that the Gar of Russia
gnaws the corn off his cob like the rest
Of us.
A NOTED architect, when asked,
"What was the best system of ventila-
tiong' replied, "Fireplaces in every
rOOm."
A GENTLEMAN at musical party
asked a friend in a whisper how he should
stir the fire without interrupting the
music. "Between the bars" replied the
friend.
EEIs are only twenty dollars per barrel
in Boston, hut who'd pay twenty dollars
for barrel of eels when he can buy a
big anaconda for twenty-five dollars and
fifty cents?
BLENDING with the sacred associations
of the morrow. Saturday night is justly
held in reverence rs the occasion of
visit to the BARRIERS, and the purchase
of a fresh paper of tobacco.
AsALooN-K having started busi-
ness in building where trunks had been
made, asked friend what he had better
do with the old sign, "Trunk Factory"
"Oh," said his friend, Just change the
T to d, and it will suit exactly"
IwANr to be police,
And at the corners stand
A star upon my bosom,
club within my hand.
I'll stand and roll my eyeballs,
BY passing breezes famed;
I'll walk into each restaurant,
And take my oysters panned
AN Elmira paper heads local para
graph: "Grand Larceny Casa Young
Woman Arrested While Taking Train"
This promised pretty extensive theft,
but examination of the paragraph re-
vealed that she had taken only dress
and a pocket-book containing a little
money.
A CLERK in one of the stores in Detroit,
lately played practical joke on large
number Of pedestrians, by suspending
from the third story window of the build
ing an effigy of man who looked from
the street as if it were clinging to the sill
with desperate hold. The multitude of
persons who rushed breathless into the
store and informed the proprietor of the
impending casualty became at last un-
bearable, and the joker was compelled to
conclude his entertainment summarily
for fear of the police.
ola mel" sighed Mrs. Darlington,
"here have been suffering the bigamies
of death for three mortal weeks. First
was seized with bleeding phrenology
in the left hampshire of the brain, which
was exceeded by stoppage of the left
ventilator of the heart. This gave me
an Inflammation in the borax, and now
Pm sick with the chloroform morbus.
There is no blessin' like that of health,
particularly when you're ILL"
A sHIP-owNER, in dispatching his ves-
sci, had a great deal of trouble with one
of his men, who had got drunk on his
advanced wages. After the vessel had
accomplished her voyage, on settling
with the crew, it came to the mans turn
to be paid. "What name?" asked the
merchant. "Cain, sir" was the reply.
"What! are you the man who slew his
brsther?" "No, sir" replied Jack, CIV
ing his trowsers a nautical hitch, "Pm
the man that was slewed."