The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1874-12-24

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a aesn age The svsnees
x d;ssssi6ls insal 2sll. q
Lighs-ke1ds6 lamp.
Somesiiag sbosA dn6s.-Neas.
vssssiTCf jsrs.
How torSissA dinnes- Co = -.
..TAe anLacky niner- Tie ei.s.
AnsGseting sskt-~ nassbisAisss.
The sgeof the lssislature -llilssgs
Anaaural rsvolutiooise -Ths essth.
T~ssd's sS6ansnt-T n sisy h.si.
A sood lins a basissss--fhe ~
hne. AG Hst .ssssss.
How to be hooest-Keep ont Of
politics. 80 sa9sa W n0a
A man who has no mind win not
xA{e@ s&Na1 sM gs - ss1ws
TIE ben legal author;ty IN crema-
tion-Coke. .asisss a84@
Moonlight mechanics Il, the latest
for burglars. i
The tobscco che~er's favorite dish
|--Cavendish.
Where 70 60 when short of moacy
Go to work.
A clesa shirt 10 one OF woman's
best gifts to man.
Motto for . rnoarning ware-housc
Die and let live.
Consistent to the last-Tom Col
Inns has died in cell.
Balloons do not cost much; they
are made for ascent.
Chicanory-To palm OF oil hen As
fricassed chicken.
First law Of gravity-Never laugh
at your own Jokes. W
The Prince Of Wales is called "a
nipping and an eager heir"
A bizzy-body il like rich cheese
Full Of little things. n
A Chicago sausage maker adver-
tises his wares ~ "dog cheap"
How too meet a man Of doubtful
credit--Take no note Of him.
Balloons might be used by police
men for taking people up.
The acrobats Of every household
The pitcher and tumbler.
To ascertain the price Of board
Read lumber market reports.
How can there be . whole day VIXEN
it begins by breaking!
Unpopular music Thomas's con-
certs on the backyard fence.
HE Who by bis biz wosld rise ,must
either burst or advertise"
| How to pronounce Polish name,
sneeze three times and say ski.
To cure dull times-Apply ~ sd-
vertisement 10 the afflicted part.
What is that which. though black,
enlightcncth the world? Ink.
What kind Of robbery Is not dan
gerons? A safe robbery, Of course.
An enthusiastic freshman dates his
letters from Yale, "New Heaven"
A timid boy olings to bis ma, but
ship.wrecked sailor clings to his spar.
What man must have his glass be-
fore he can do days work: A gla-
zier.
| When is money damp! When it
is due IN the morning and mist At
night.
1t ain't 90 much trouble tew get
rich ~ il is tew tell when we have
got rich.
A Missouri editors name is Wufa-
dam. His paper, says our authority,
isn't.
The hsndsomest lady in . horse
car 10 not always the one who 10 pas
sing fare.
Writing poetry for . waste basket
is putting ones soul into words that
burn.
When is loaf of bread said to be
inhabited? When there's little In
dian in il.
A constantly recurring and ever
truthful statement. "The fools are
not oil dead vet"
What becomes of mans word
| when he won't keep it, and no one
else will take iip
Josh Billings says: Tew enjoy q
good reputashun, give publicly and
steal privately.
A late marriage in London was be-
tween Mr.. Pickle and Miss ONION
| One more onion pickled.
A man in Cincinnati advertising
for situation, says: "Work is not
SO much an object rs good wages
1.-THE one thing needful for the per-
feet enjoyment Of love is confidence"
Same with hash and sausages.
What is the difference between .
spendthrift and pillow! One is
hard up and the other is soft down.
One Pittsburgh firm makes al the
glass eyes for the United States, but
it don't make al the eye glasses.
I was very near selling my boots
the other day, said John to . friend.
How so? Wall,I had them half soled.
Sylyanus Cobb wants to be Lieu.
tenant Governor of New York. His
excuse is that he has written Eve hum
dred novels. an