Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1874-05-14
About Marrying-Advlce to Mothers
and Girls.


About Marrying-Advlce to Mothers
and Girls.
In the Education of american Giris,
the author says:
| have spoken of the importance of
mind in view of the natural conditions of
marriage and maternity, which may be
the lot of every woman. 1t is not posi-
sanctity of these relations, but it is posi-
BILE to look so much at the mere outside
facts of marriage as to ignore its real
lessly mated is far less married than she
who keeps her ideal high and true and
remains single; not because she values
marriage too little, but because she has
too great reverence to enter into it lightly
or falsely. And the mother has far more
need to fit her daughter to meet nobly the
the duties Of marriage. Marriage is SO per
fectly natural state that it reveals its
own laws; and a simple, healthful, hap
Ply, trusting love will guide women more
wisely than much precept. But in our
any girl is by no means small that she
may be called on to live out her life with
out entering upon this blessed relation.
If she has been taught that woman's
sphere is marriage and marriage alone
that only by that means she can hope for
a life of happiness, usefulness, and re-
spect--she will probably become amisera-
BILE, helpless, lonely, irritable woman
perhaps seeking marriage at any price to
escape from the condition she breads; or
failing that, finding life without purpose,
occupation, or delight. But If she
boundless in its resources, and that
when one way is closed another is opened,
so that "all things work together for
good" If she knows that her nature will
be far nobler without the form ofmarriage
unless the spirit and truth can be present
also, she will find that there is a life open
to her-a life of devotion to truth, right
and beauty, of service to humanity, and of
love just as noble and true as she could
attain in marriage She Is not fit to marry
until she is fit to stand alone. Unless life
has purpose and meaning of its own to
her as well as to her husband she cannot
bring him an equal dover, and she has no
test of the new feeling which. should take
its value from the richness Of the life that
she is ready to blend with another's.
Nothing marks the progress in the eleva-
ton Of woman, during the last half
century, more than the passing away Of
the opprobrious use of the term sold
maid" which is now rarely heard. 1t is
motives, shrinking from the duties and
roc g fh< al
worldly ambition for higher station than
love can offer. Such sin brings its own
terrible punishment with it. But far
marriage, from true nobility of character,
or from devotion to some other relation
which seemed paramount that woman
remains single. How many woman,
hiding in her secret heart the romance
that gave charm to her youth, but
did not find its reality in life, has
devoted herself to the service of
humanity with all the passionate de-
votion of lover to his mistressl OF
such a one, to whom hundreds of helpless
babes looked up as to guardian and pro-
tector, an artist said: "She has the moth
er in her face" We owe too much TO
this noble class OF women, In art, litera-
ture and philanthropy, and in the service
of the country in its most trying hour,
ever to forget their claims, and he will be
forever stigmatized as unworthy of the
name of pure and noble manhood who
sneers at the virtue which he cannot I'M
derstand, or vilifes with opprobrious cpl
thets the noble women whom Theodore
Parker-God bless him for the word
called his GLORIOUS phalanx Of old
maids"
Another wrong is often done to the
young girl, under the name of prudence
or worldly wisdom, by breaking down her
ideal Of life, and especially her ideal of
the possible partner of her future life.
Tennyson speaks of one form of this, in
addressing the vain coquette as the posi-
BILE mother:
I" Oh, see the old and formal, fitted to thy petty
part,
With little hoard OF maxims, preaching down q
daughters heart"
Men often speak of the pain it is to
them to see the debasement of woman
because she represents to them an ideal
of good, the other nobler self, for which
they must strive. Man should represent
the same thing to woman. Love should
see in its object the very crown and glory
of creation.
The person love TO us doth Mt,
Like mama, hath the taste OF all In II.
But the low social standing of morals
and manners for man has so degraded him
that the very ideal of manhood is be-
Titled, and the mother warns her daugh-
ter not to expect much from her future
husband; she has no right to hope for
the loyalty of Sir Philip Sydney or the
pure ideality of Michael Angelo. 1t is a
great wrong to man to demand so little
from him. All human beings from child
hood upward are stimulated by the opin-
ion entertained of them and the claims
upon them for noble and high behavior.
Whatever your own experience, do not
thrust the poison of doubt and unbelief
in goodness into a daughters mind. Let
her keep her faith and her romance, and
look for hero to win her young heart.
True, ii Is hard to see Thaddeus Of
Warsaw with cigar in his mouth, or TO
imagine Hamlet with q blue veil about
his hat, but nevertheless the race Of heroes
Is not extinct, and the girl had better pre-
serve her faith and her love till the true
knight appears than to accept the belief
that all men are alike unworthy, and that