The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-10-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

II
JOSHUA" said Quiz's landlady to her
hopeful. at breakfast Yesterday, " Joshua,
what is an heir apparent?" "There's
one on the butter, mother" replied the
unfilial youngster. And the old lady -
upon him with the coffee-pOt.
AN exchange has an acquaintance Who
remarks that he has often heard the pro-
verb, "A friend in need is friend indeed"
but he says he can't see where the laugh
comes in. He has friend in need who is
always borrowing money of him.
1T was California editor who asserted
| that the Prophet Isaiah was an Irishman,
basing his claim to public belief upon the
| thirty-sixth verse Of the thirty-seventh
chapter of the Book of Isaiah, which says
"And when they arose early in the morn
| inc. behold they were all dead corpses."
We claim the merit of discovering that the
Apostle John was of the same honorable
nationality. In the first chapter OF the
Revelation he says: "And turned to see
the voice that spake with me. And being
turned. saw seven gold candlesticks."-
hatey-Ocedn.
IMAGINE the feelings of Mrs. Bolan, of
Cincinnati, who, after providing an ille-
giant wake, a mass, and twenty-five car
riages for the body of a drowned man
whom the Coroner pronounced and whom
she recognized as Mr.. Bolan, was, three
days later, surprised by the appearance OF
the ''late lamented," looking much the
worse for tprotracted spree; imagine,
also. her unspeakable disgust at the dis
covery that the remains that she had in
TERED with such impressive obsequies
were those of a " durty nagur" who had
fallen into the river from steamboat.
How often some rude circumstance de-
stroys, in single moment, friendship
that has been nurtured for years. There
was one who was our playmate in the
bright long ago. Together We played
upon the village square, shared our lunch
with one another, smoked in unison our
first cigar, and sroaned in the same meas
ure thrOughoutthe subsequent parOXysms.
The sea of life cast wave upon our play
ground, and swept us from the embrace OF
or boy companion. But wherever we
have been tossed, in sunshine and in
stormy weather, we have fondly borne in
our heart of hearts the image of our boy
iSh playmate. We have cherished his
memory as a sacred thing, and kept it
green and bright to gladden. our eyes in
weary moments. Had he come to us any
time ragged and hungry, we would have
clothed and fed him, would have taken
him in our arms and thanked heaven for
the opportunity of proving our love.
Monday he came, but oh, how different
from what we could have wished. All
smiles and store clothes, he approached our
desk, and as our heart went jOyfully out
to meet him, he pulled forth canvassing-
book, and spoke: 81 am agent for the sale
of that wonderful work, Ten Nights in
Bedroom; or the Mysteries of Chicago
BOarding-hOuse.' A bOOk-agent! We
sank back in our seat, and engaged in sad
retrospection, while the friend OF our
childhood, now changed to the fiend of our
manhood, enlarged upon the merits OF his
internal book His words passed over our
mind like mighty torrent, aud swept
away every vestige of that friendship we
so long had cherished for him. When he
finished, winding up with the hope that,
for the sake of old times, we would favor
him with our name, we arose, seized nm,
and flung him through the window. He
struck upon the picket-fence below, and
his mangled body now sways upon the
creaking pickets, CHASTITY warning TO
those who would trife with the hearts
best affections.-BTunsl1ick