Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1874-07-11
SMELLING THE BUTTER.

noticed sliding along Montgomery
street, with an anxious eye peering in
quisitively into the window of every
eating-house which he passed. He was
evidently man whose choice in gas
Economical matters was governed sole
ly by the quantity Of meat, vegetables
and liquids given in exchange for a
stipulated sum. Finally he appeared
to be satisfied with the inducements
held out in a long bill of fare, which,
tackled to carcass of mutton in front
of window, fluttered in the breeze,
and informed the hunger-haunted pass
er-by that four dishes could be had
within for twenty-five cents.
The man went in and in few min
utes was tackling slim meal with Wig
orous avidity. After finishing his al
loted four plates, with the exception ola
few slices OF bread, his eye fell upon
small plate of butter, which, in his
hurry, he had evidently not noticed be-
fore.
He was about to plunge his knife into
the butter when something peculiar in
its appearance caused him to pause,
and, while pausing, he took occasion
to reflect. Suddenly he reached for
ward, and, taking the small butter
plate between his finger and thumb,
he held it toward the light and exam
ined its contents for nearly minute.
He next held it to his nose and snuffed
its SAVIOR three successive times, with a
puzzled expression of countenance.
All this time the restaurant-keeper
was standing Immediately behind the
butter analyzer, watching him atten-
lively, and his face was indicative of
rage and disgust.
perhaps you don't like that but
ter?" was his first remark, semi-inter-
negatively.
The man at the table simply laid
down the butter, and turned round
with an inquiring expression on his
visage; but he said nothing.
perhaps you don't like that but
ter?" yelled the restaurant man in a
somewhat savagely explanatory tone.
81 don't know, as yet-the fact is, I
haven't tried it,"
"Wall, you looked as if you thought
something was the matter with it.
Now, if you have got any remarks to
make about that butter you can make
'em right here"
II was simply examining the pecul-
lar appearance of the oleaginous COM
pound" replied the man at the table;
and he spoke with exasperating cool
ness. "These blue streaks impart to
the article variegated appearance,
which somewhat excited my curiosity.
Blue streaks, believe, are considered
a novelty in butter, are they not"
The restaurant keeper was somewhat
taken back by the calm reply Of the
other, but he recovered himself suffi-
GENTLY to remark:
"Blue streaks are always good in
butter this season of the year; you
must be one of those damned up-coun-
try lunatics, not to know that"
The restamateur paused for a mo-
ment and then resumed, in q threat
ening manner:
You must understand that I don't
allow no man to come to this restau-
rant and go snuffin' around the butter;
no well-bred man II do it,
"I approximated that butter to my
nose simply to ascertain if those blue
streaks made any particular difference
in the smell. think that the streaks
made no very remarkable difference in
the smell; in fact, I am of the opinion
that if any difference at all is occas-
ioned it is actually for the better. As
far as smelling the butter is concerned,
I hold that, having paid for the arti-
Gle, have perfect right to smell of
it, and should do so again if thought
it all necessary, but do not think it
is. smelled that greasy substance in
this instance merely to ascertain if it
was the new article of commerce called
oleomargarine. I have satisfied my
self that it Is oleomargarine, and hav-
ing thus arrived at satisfactory con-
clusion in regard to the matter, I shall
have no occasion to smell it again."
Here the frigid customer deposited
quarter on the table and turned to go.
Before he could reach the door, how
ever, the restaurant keeper, excited to
an uncomfortable pitch of frenzy by the
speakers last remark, yelled vocifer-
ously: ,. ..,
cts an internal lie! keep none of
your bull butter in this house. You lie
if you say so, sir! I can lick the man
who says so, sir! I can lick him noww
And he smote his guest upon the nose.
In another instant the guest, forti-
fed, doubtless, by the recent substan-
tial meal, launched his right between
the others eyes and landed him under
the nearest table, stunned and sense
less. There was a clash of plates, q
rattle of steel forks and dash Of butter
dishes accompanying the last maneu-
YER, but still the restaurant-keeper lay
without apparent life or motion.
The guest surveyed him for a mo-
ment, and then, lifting the plate Of but
ter for a fourth time to his nose, smelt
it deliberately, laid it down and de-
,ovto1 rovna a~kino aa ha want ny,t ssif