, 1874-01-18
BANYON..
The Ruin He Has Wrought.
The Woes Of John Smith and Mary
Ann Brown.


High Moral Stand Of Mrs. Sprig.
gins.
Banyon Explains How He Is in for Life.
eaThe injured author OF 1.-THE Wicked World ="
has celebrated with much rythm and no little
| pathos (not to mention the agonizing quality Of
! his rhymes) the sorrow OF Thompson Green
| and Harriet Hale, loving pair who were united
| in the bonds Of n1atrimony. But it is not OF
! Thompson Green and Harriet Hale this little BIZ
| og1nphy treats. It is ct another pair. John
! Smith and Mary Ann Brown, that We write, md
! 1t il for these young people, and On account Of
| their being John Smith and Mary Ann Brown.
that the tears of the reader are cordially invited
| When in addition to these two names that OF the
! great and good magistrate, Mr. Augustus
H. Banyon, is written, 1t will Immediately
| be discovered that something is amiss between
them. There is the who'd thing is B nutshell.
| 1t seems that on the 8th day Of December, in
| the year Of cur Grace 1873, Mr.. John Smith pre-
scented himself before the graceful gentleman
! who has Charge Of marriage licenses, and blush
| ingly assured him thet he wanted q marriage
| icense for friend named John Smith, who Was
! going to be married TO young lady, Mary Ann
] Brown. The necessary perjury having been
conscienHously accomplished, the owner Of the
| Icense7 and the lady named therein cast about
for some one to join them in wedlock- Miss
brown thought the thing should be done in
| style; 30 did John. He knew d man who could
do it with gravity and uuction it was Justice
| Banyon. Smith and Banyon had met before,
| under circumstances which it Was un-
! necessary to relate infinitely to his
| betrothed, and Banyon had suspended the fine,
and advised John to got married. Here was
glorious opportunity to show Banyon how obe-
| diently his advice was followed. To Ba1yon's
Office they accordingly went, and the $40 which
| had been so astutely withheld from the reforms
| tory institutions to which it should have gone
| same weeks previously WAS folded away With
other $40 bills reposing in the judicial pocket
| book. "Mary Ann Bfown that WEE, " said the
Judge, taking second kiss, "you are now Mary
| Ann Smith you are man and wife. You have
! each other, and have s10 Are you satisfied ?"
"Yes," responded they. $50 am ], " said Nr.
Banyon.
And there the matter might hare ended.
There are plenty Of Smiths in the world, and
the columns OF TIE TRIBUNE, but for Banyon.
They might have Kept house and reared little
Smiths by the dozen, without the world paying
any attention to them, but for Banyon. They
might 1UOk lQG1I 16uOH-UUH1QG16 III Aut 4aE5 ll4a
morning without blushing, but for Banyon in
deed they might be in state Of honeymoon
bliss atthis particular moment, instead Of feel
ing very guilty, but for Banyon.
When John rose yesterday morning. not having
been married much more than month, he waa
more in lore with his wife than ever, aud, having
kissed her, wen down to the store with light
heart. Some Of the fellows IN the store looked
at him with smile. ''smith," said Robinson,
"You1e sharp cuBs, By the Obituary." Smith
+horr fA rag n1aa Hrtt
yaSuely wondered why Robinson should have
discovered it st this moment. He only smiled,
however, "You ought to treat you old rascal,
after such . sell ea that" Smith really did not
admiration in Robiuson's look, SO lie treated.
"Smith," )" raid Jones, when he returned to the
store. 't1et me congratulate you, you sly old
rooster. It's as good as play let's take q
drink"
s'What's as good as play 2" said Smith,
"6ay, bows remarked Jones to the rest Of the
clerks, "he's playing of etill. You can't keep
it up any longer, old boy. You've kept pretty
his companions assured Smith that it was the
smartest thing they ever heard of.
For the Life OF him Jones couldn't tell why he
vas thus hatte7ed. He might have had raise
Of salary !; might have {o had To- fortune left him
way he would not admit his ignorance. Pretty
sharp" said be in reply, :. but I don't deserve
my credit for it, it'a thing I've done two or
three times before"
The blank you have" shouted the others.
:. lou darned totnaf1o YOU "noa aaFe
thought it Of Smith," h3'. ,.>,. ..,x,. .on,z -
said smith, % "bnt but give ms chance and ri do it
nine times ont of ten." This bold declaration
had exhausted his ingenuity, and as he appeared
no nearer to TIC solution o. ine mystery tasa
subject. at o'clock he rent home to dinner,
and ran upstairs to his room to see his wife.
r.
MIS-; spngg1ns e1oppeo nln. Mnere a1e you
golng' sala she, wnefefuEon sta sneser went up
sev95 nd the doors
e' aGoine @ o to sae % nv vile" responded Smith in
asto1lshment r WAL elhe a9 & soe snpPose ,o
1onr wl1e, sefeaaeo @ls' opi'ssus' 1ooA-
ing Tary vlrtnous. s,;,,.p.a +,,a ,onrn ,.a;n. :,
as %ne s1aoAGtIu tne tsgune 1ao'es Ill
{; VII %, s.oG ~ thtnda- 3na. ~, tb;s ns., 2n
Hnas ~ tnunaer u9es ,t - ~ nu1o Means
shouted bmnIn WAhlnB bolt 1o1 tne btalfMa5.