davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06

IT did not take long for L. J. Coger,
of Cynthiana, KY, to make up his mind
"To be, or not to be?" Why not to be,
of course, said Coger, and giving his wife
an extra blowing up and announcing to
off for the eternal bowwow, he ran to
the river. Mrs. Coger and the little
Cogers went bowling after him. Into
the river he plunged, while the lady
rushed to the house screaming for help.
During her absence, the question again
occurred to COger, "To be or not to be T
With the same celerity which character
lied his former decision, he said Why, to
be of course, and he sneaked dripping TO
the protection of some trees on the bank.
Then commenced grand hunt for him,
and Just as il was determined that his
body was at the bottom of the earthly
stream, and his soul floating on the
Styx, younger Coger deserted him in
his place of concealment. Then the un-
fortunately not bereaved wife went and
pleaded with him, the burden of her
entreaty being, 40, Coger, dear Coger,
come home with me now; the clock in
the steeple (if he had any, which we
havn'D strikes one. But Coger declined
to bulge. He was determined to make
a Mantilini of himself, and widow of
Mrs. G. At last the good woman had a
rush of common sense TO the head, and
informed Cogcr that If he meant to
drown himself he might do so, for she
was getting sleepy and going home.
This apathetic, not to say hydropathic
treatment by the wife whom he loved to
beat so worked upon Coger that he gave
one long, despondent look at the water
flowing before him, and plunged head
long---homeward.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
NUMBER ID.
One Legged Breeches.

A one legged soldier walking up the
BOwery, was accOsted by a clothing mcr-
chant with the usual "Sell you something's
to-dayY' Entering the store, the veteran
was invited to inspect the large stock,
but having looked through the array of
coats and vests and trowsers, he turned
to 90, saying that he saw nothing there
that would suit him.
"Vell, vat you vants?
81 want pair of one legged panta-
looms"
"Vas dat all Yacob, bring me one
of dem one legged gray pants on dat pile
i'm de corner"
In few minutes Jacob returned and
reported that the last pair had been sold.
Meanwhile the partner next door who
had been listening through the thin par
tition, had mapped out a plan of CAM
paign against the one legged cripple.
"Yohn," he whispered to an attendant,
"cut me off de leg of one of dem gray
pants. Send him up, quickw
BY the time this had been done, the
soldier had hobbled out of the first store
only to be inveigled into the second.
Again he went through the inspection of
odds and ends, and again demanded one
legged trOwsers, limiting that he didn't
believe the trader had them.
Not half one legged pants Fadder
Moses, vat you takes me for? Yohn,
pants in dat pile in de back of de shtOre."
duced, and the waggish soldier gave him.
self up as lost. But as he spread them
before him, he became conscious, as did
| noIa -
"Mein Got! Fadder Abraham! Yohn,
you haf ruin me- You haf cut off de
wrong legp
This was probably the same dealer who
was recently called upon by young
man for a coat A fit was made in due
time, and then came the haggling about
the price. First, twenty dollars was
fixed, then the clothier abated dollar af-
ter dollar, fighting his way inch by inch,
until at length he had offered the garment
for eight dollars.
"DO you think Pm made of money!"
asked the young man Indignantly, as he
turned to depart.
"Say, you come pack! sell you dat
coat of it cost me leg. VOt you gif for
him, say now?'
"Pll give you two dollars"
"Tw0 dollars Wy de buttons ish more
wort ash dat! Sphlit the dfrance--make
it twenty shillings1'
"No; I'll give you two dollars"
Veil, take him. 1t was a pooty coat.
You gif me two and quarter ?"
Producing the two dollars, the young
man moved away with his purchase but
as he reached the door he heard the dealer
exclaim, with uplifted hands:
"Gott helpme! ] only make one dol
lar on dat coatw
Another of the Chatham-street dealers
had what he called army brogans and
cavalry boots. An ex-soldier purchased
pair of the latter one rainy day, but
returned to the store within a few min
utes, complaining that the soles were of
pasteboard, and had already soaked to
pulp.
"Vat you vas done nit dem boots?'
asked the dealer.
"Why, / walked two or three blocks"
"Valk? You walk in dem boots? Wy,
dem vOs cavalry boots ~
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
Two Ancient Families.

A very searching investigation was
carried on, few years ago, in the north
of England, by two families who were
hunting up their respective ancestry.
The strife was great between them,
each being determined to look back into
antiquity farther than the other.
One Of the families, whose name was
Spencer, employed an artist to paint a
historic scene representing the building
of the ark by Noah and his sons, with
its multitudinous cargo. On the gang
plank leading to the deck of the ark two
men were seen rolling up a huge box,
on one side of which was painted, i'm
large letters, "Relics, insignia and papers
belonging to the Spencer family"
This was considered a coupP etat hard
to beat, but the other family, not to be
outdone i'm the antedeluvian pretensions
of their family name, prepared at
great cost and research record of their
antiquity. In describing the exploits of
one of their ancestors ut a very early day,
who was represented as man of great
authority, this passage occurs: During
this year Adam and Eve were driven out
of Paradise"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
Free Baths for Girls.

From the Graphic
In the evening on WOmen's Day the
scene is most singular and enlivening, the
bath being brightly lighted by gas jets,
that flare and flash upon the waters and
gay jackets of the bathers. Every vari-
ETY. Of color and material has been brought
into requisition for the stipulated cos
tune; calicoes, striped and lowered;
bed ticking; ginghams, checked and
plaided; and fannels, "yellow, red, and
blue" some cut bag and pillow-case
fashion, and others gracefully fitted, seal
loped, and trimmed. Amusing trans
formations are constantly occurring as the
fair bathers enter their dressing-rooms i'm
all the glory of hoops and flounces CHG
mons, and floating curls, emerging there
from sans hoops, sans hair, sans so much
that constitutes the feminine toilets of
to-day. And after the first splash-what
Hebes and Venuses, what quaking masses
of solidity, what shaking anatomies are
revealed? Here wispof hair and pair
of skinny arms; there rosy face, long
tresses, and shining snowy shoulders flash
through the waters. Peals of laughter
and shrill screams ring through the air,
and the bathers, lean and plump, are al
together happy, save few that shiver
with blue lips and woeful faces, on the
stepsor clutch the rope in the desperation
of fear. Among the regular hdbitues of
the bath magnificent blonde is notice
able; of noble figure and commanding
carriage, she moves queen-like in all her
motions amid the throng, and swims with
easy undulating grace. A dark-eyed
witch of about eighteen, plays all manner
of pranks under water and above, turn
ing sommersaults, diving, floating, disap-
pearing, and reappearing when least ex-
pected, and Is i'm fact as much at home
in one element as the other, being the
acknowledged best swimmer in the bath,
where scores are adopts in the art. The
striking contrast presented between the
grimed faces and dropping forms of the
ingoing tide and the clean radiant faces
and elastic tread of the outgoing tide of
women and children, speaks volumes in
favor Of the free baths. Tn city COM
passed about by noble rivers and sea air,
and teeming with wealth, every inhab-
liant, however obscure, should have the
privilege of bathing in the rivers and
breathing the sea air in safety. The baths
should increase in number year by year,
to meet the needs of the hitherto "great
unwashed," until that epithet is a term
of the past or no longer known. If the
city government should borrow one of
the precepts of the Mohammedan relig-
ion, which makes cleanliness obligatory,
and furnish the means to the lower classes,
we shall take long stride in the path of
reform.
WARM weather does not kill off the
Philadelphia obituary writers rs rapidly
as 1t does their subjects. Here is the
latest:
"Put away those little breechce,
Do not try 10 mend the hole;
Little Johnny will not want them
He has climbed the Qoldcn polc ~
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
SENSE AND NONSENSE .

FIRST irate female-"Pd hate to be
in your shoesi~ Second ditto" You
couldn't get in them!'
WHAT is the difference between fixed
stars and shooting stars? The one are
suns, the other darters. III
THAT was bright little child who
inquired, "Ma, when cows die, do +, they
go to the 'milkv-wayY" 40 sol
AN English brewer in Ohio wants to
know what effect {" local hoption' would
ave upon the price of ops. as'...J
A KIND word spoken to husband will
90 farther than broomstick or a flatirOn,
says woman of experience.
If you have anything difficult to do
nerve yourself up to mighty effort,
pray for more strength, and-hire a
hand. " ''
AN ostrich does draw the line some
where. He stops at gate-hinges. The
grasshoppers will eat the shoes off an ex-
hausted mule. stsi,,-
The way they quote Shakespeare
against each ether in Congress is not cal
culated to enhance the fame Of the inn
mortal William. -
THE Peoria women who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands grave
few months ago has just married "a
lightning-rod man. : =. '-H
LoT's wife wouldn't have looked
back, but woman with new dress
passed her, and she wanted to see If the
back breadth was ruffied. ejoo.a
A GERMAN in the Center Market,
New York City, being asked how much
saurkrout he had put up for winter use,
replied: "Ps not got much. Little
more as ten barrels---shust for Sickness
A SCoTcHNIAN havinghired himself to-
farmer, had cheese set down before
him that he might help himself The
master said to him, Sandie, YOU takea
long time to breakfast" In tfoth,
MASTER" answered he, ga cheese O. this
size is nae sac soon eaten as ye. may
think"
A TEACHER in Nevada, after telling
her pupils that large waterfall was
cataract" "Now," said she, "what is
a little WATERFALL" Kittyract,". blurt-
ed out the t0w-headed youngster who
sat chewing the corner of his primer on
the front seat. ae.t-
IT is now claimed that galvanism was
discovered by man named Swammer-
damm one hundred and thirty years be-
fore Galvani called attention to it.. The
world, however, will not willingly change
the name i'm order to give him the honor
belonging to him. Swammerdammism
would be awful.
"THEREi it is," said a man pointing
out the comet to his companion, right
there where am pointing. Don't you
see it w "No, my friend" responded
the other. "Like Washington, l will
not lie. will swear don't see it, and
l don't believe you do, either"
"MY dear boy" said fond aunt to a
very fast living nephew, "don t you
know that in leading this irregular life
you are shortening your days! cts
quite possible that / may be shortening.
my days, but then look how lengthen
my nights" was the cool reply. r
A LITTLE girl who was visiting the
family of neighbor, heard them speak
of her father as a widower, and on her
return home, said: "Pa, are you a
widowerq "Yes, my child. Don't
you know that your mother is dead 2"
"Why, yes, know that mother is dead;
but then you always told me you was a
New Yorker"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
FAIRIES.


Why, did you think the fairies dead {,
Or travelled far away?
oh no don't shake your little head
saw troop to-day.
They stood beside the garden walk,
As prim as they could be;
They didn't even deign TO talk
AT least, to speak TO me.
Some stood In caps Of pale gold,
And some stood in hoods Of blue;.
Some just displayed purple fold,
And some plume or two.
Some held aloft sharp green lance,
Prepared TO push their way,
Some gaily bowed, as IL 10 dance,
Some waved their hands In play.
Then count not fairies dead or lost
Just come and walk with me,
I'll show you soon fairy host
On every bush and tree.
Their slender fingers soon shall trim
The stiff, ungainly bough,
And hang gay banners from the limb
That looks so lifeless now.
And so along the garden walk
Their brilliant ranks shall rise,
And we might learn their fairy talk
If we were only wise.
But we may touch their dainty caps
OF purple, blue and gold,
And smooth the emerald sheen that wraps
Their forms in loving fold.
And we may kiss their velvet cheeks
And scent their fragrant breath;
Then woe to him who lightly speaks
OF fairy loss or death!
For while we watch their gorgeous dress,
Their fresh and sprightly ways,
We know there's not one fairy less
Than i'm the old-time days.
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
GENERAL INFORMATION.

HYDRoPHOBIA was never so prevalent
as this year.
ENGLAND has three hundred different
religious sects.
A BUFFALO merchant bought and
sold million pounds of dried apples last
year.
RocnEFoRT says the American hotels
world.
THERE are over fourteen and half
millions of children of the school age in
this country.
THE expenses of the POst-office Depart
ment has run up from $5, ,2l2, ,952 in 1850,
to $34 ,000, 900 in 1874.
IT Is expected that the dog population
i'm New York will be diminished 10000
before the summer is over.
IT COSTS twenty dollars in Virginia to
kill mocking-bird or to rob nest of
its young, the fine going to the school
fund.
| A sUN-DIAL on one of the forts in
Texas, the actual value of which was
originally $l7, is said to have cost the
Government $4O, 1000.
CUBA was discovered by Columbus in
1892, and has always remained in Span
ish possession, though Spain did not sue
ceed in completely cOnquering it until
1912.
OF THE 4,7S1 bills introduced i'm both
Houses during the last session of Con-
gress, less than one thousand passed,
n nf nrtu 20
bills.
Mr.. FRANCIS GALEN, in lecture re-
Gently delivered before the Royal Insti-
tuition, reckoned the proportion of
scientific men to the rest of mankind at
about one to 10000.
THE late Edgar ThompsOn's fund to
educate the orphans of railroad men
killed in the discharge of their duty to
the travelling public is new but most
excellent disposition of wealth acquired
as railway operator.
THE Wig says that nearly eight mil
lion feet more lumber has been surveyed
in Bangor thus far this season than dur
ing the corresponding portion of last year
but the trade is quite dull, and the price
oflogs continues high.
PROFESSOR TYNDALL has demon
strated, by recent experiments, that
water in vaporous form mingled with
air is the real enemy to the transmission
of sound and this may exist on days of
surprising clearness.
WITHIN the past ten years the screw
has entirely replaced the paddle in
transatlantic navigation, the weight of
the marine engine has decreased one
half, the steam pressure has quadrupled,
and the consumption Of coal has dimin-
ished two-thirds.
1T is estimated that the amount of in
debtedness owed by the nation, by
States, municipalities, corporations and
individuals of the country, is about eight
billions. The amount of gold in the
United States, at the present time, is
said to be not over one hundred and
fifty millions.
IT NOW seems quite probable that the
long-talked-of project to connect the At
lantic with the Pacific Ocean across the
Isthmus of Panama will be undertaken.
The engineers who have made thorough
surveys, it is reported, have come to the
conclusion that the Nicaragua route is
far tho most fcasihla
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06
A Night I'm a Barn with Wolves.

We find the following in the Piscataqua
Observer. Silas Wood, a true-bOrn Yam.
kee, tells to "the SQUIRE" one winter
evening, the story Of his wolf adventure
in StOckville, VT. He had been hired by
one Dea. Nathans, to watch q newly
raised barn frame all night, and while
there a prowling wolf scented him and
called together pack of twenty or thirty
to help eat him up. lie says:
"The yarmints were now close by, and
just,when / had given up all hope, | felt
something touch ag'in my head--it was a
rope as had been fast to one of the
rafters guess, Squire, if that ere rope
had been foot shorter, I'd not been here
now tellin' this story! The way went
up that rope, hand over hand, was
caution. And I'd barely swung myself
on the rafter, and began lashin' myself to
the beam with rope, when, 'Squire-it
makes my blood run cold to tell 1.-THE
barn was alive with wolves, yelpin',
leapin' and fallin' over each other. /
could hear them routin' among the
shavings; and in minute they had
them all spread over the barn floor.
Then they began to muzzle the earth
and scratch it up with their paws.
At last one of 'em scented me, and
told the others with yelp. Then, of all
the yells / ever heard Esquire, most
swooned away; and if l hadn't lashed
myself to the rafter, I'd ha' fell right
down among 'em. Oh, such a yell l
never heard afore, and hope I'll never
hear agin!
Though I knowed they couldn't get at
me, it was dreadful to be there in the
dead of the night, with pack of hungry
wolves lickin' their slaverin' jaws, and
thirstin' for my blood. They ran round
and round the barn, and leaped onto each
others backs, and sprang into the air; I;
but it was no use; and ut last began to
get kinder easy, and looked down on
the howlin' vannints and bantered them.
Squire, you'd ha' thought they under
stood feller. Every time hollered and
shook my fist at them, they yelped and
jumped louder than ever.
For all this, wasn't sorry when il be-
gan to grow little lighter; and about
half an hour before dawn they began to
see it was no use 30 they give me one
long, loud farewell howl afore they went.
But, Squire, the most curious part of
the story Is to come. Some time after
they went, it had grown so light ] could
see 'em quite plain, and an ugly set of
beasts they was, and no mistake. Well,
/ noticed one wolf separate himself from
the pack and try to stink away. He had
his tail between his legs, jest like a dog
when he's beaten, and had cowed look,
as if he were ashamed and afeared alike.
All at oncet he made a spring out of the
barn, but the rest of the pack was after
him like lightnin'
Squire continued the Yankee, lay
ing his hand on my sleeve, you may
believe il or not, jest as you please; but
beyond some hide and hair, they didn't
leave piece of that ere wolf as big as
my hand. He was the scout as give the
signal to the Others, and they devoured
him out of hunger and revenge, cause
they couldn't get me-
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06

A MODEL duel recently came of at
Ottawa, Canada. Two journeyman tail
ors having INDUCED in what Mr.. Dick
Swiveller politely calls the rosy" quar-
relied, and caused their employer con-
siderable annoyance. After he had tried
in vain to reconcile them, he produced
pair of rusty pistols, and persuaded the
belligerents to fight 1t out " like gentle
men," Having got the knights of the
shears out in the yard, he placed them
back to back, capped the pistols, and told
them they must walk ten PAGES, then turn
and fire. The couple proceeded to
pace, but the courage of one oozed out
so rapidly that he never turned round at
all. When last seen, he was keeping
straight on, at a rapid rate, and in a
frightened condition,
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06

A LITTLE five-year old boy had been to
the circus, with which, of course, he was
delighted. Saturday night came, and,
while leading him to bed, his cousin said:
"Well, Sinclair, suppose you want to
go to church tomorrow The little
fellow paused a moment, and then an
swered: cousin Mollie, if church was
anything like circus you wouldn't have
to ask me to go!" Alas! for human
nature,
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06

WARM weather does not kill off the
Philadelphia obituary writers rs rapidly
as 1t does their subjects. Here is the
latest:
"Put away those little brcechce,
DO not try 10 mend the hole;
Little Johnny will not want them
He has climbed the golden pole"
The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-06

FIRST irate female-"Pd hate to be
in your shoesp Second ditto" You
couldn't get in themp
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-11-15
OFFICIAL NOTICES.

over all Others and no others considered, ex-
cent for steamboat routes.
23 modification of a bid in any Of its essential
terms is tantaInOunt to y new bid. and not be
received so as to interfere with regular compete.
tion. Making new bid in proper form is the only
way to modify previous one.
a. Postmasters are cautioned not to sign the
approval of the bond OF any bidder before the bond
is signed by the bidder and his suretles, and not
until entirely satisfied OF the efficiency of the
sureties See sections 246 and 241. act OF June g.
1874, s.ccompan, ing this advertisement.
IS. POstn,asters also liable TO dismissal froTt
OtGe tor acting as agents contractors or bidders.
with or without compensation. i'll any business,
matter or thing relating to the mail service They
are trusted agents of The Department and can NOT
consistently act III both capacities.
MARSHALL JEWELL.
mol Is % 80 de s Postmaster General.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-11-15
Form of Proposal. Bond and Certificate.
Proposal.

the undersigned. - -. whose posseffice
address is 49,, county Of -, state of -,
frcn July J. 1875 to June 30 1873 on route No.
between and ----.. state of -, under the
advertisement of the Postmaster General. dated
October l. 1879, with Celeritv. certainty and Sc
81 rity" for the annual sum of - dollars and
il this proposal is pied he viii enter int" con'
tract. with sureties 10 be approved by the Post
master General. within shs time prescribed IN said
advertisement. -.
This proposal is made with full knowledge OF The
distance Of the route the weight the mail TO be
carried and all other particulars in reference to
,h, route and service and, ALSO after careful eA-
animation OF the laws and Instructions attached 10
advertisement of mail service.
Dated --. - 49,. BlGdeIs
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-11-15

State Of -. county of -, ss-On this -
day of - 1877, personally appeared before me
and - sureties in the afOIe-
going bond to me known to be the persons named
in eaid bond as sureties. and who have executed
the same a. such. who being BY me- duly sworn,
says, he has executed the within bond; that his
place OF residence is correctly stated therein that
he 10 the of rea! estate worth the sum here.
matter get against his name over and above all
debts due and owing by him, and all judgments.
mortgages and executions against him. after allow
ing all exemptions of every character whatever,
the total sum thus assured amounting to l$-i
dOllars.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-11-15
OFFICIAL NOTICES.

and annexed proposal of the said -
Now. the condition Of the sid obligation is such
that If the said - bidder as Aforesaid,
the POSTMASTER General has prescribed in SAID
advertisement Of route No -, to wit, OF or before
the first day Of June. 1875, enter into q contract
with the United States of America, with good and
sufficient suretes to be approved by the Postmas.
ter General to perform the service proposed in his
SAID bid, and further shall perform said service
shall be void, otherwise to be in full force and
obligation in law.
In witness whereof we have hereunto set Our
hands and seals this - day of --, lS7-.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-11-15

State Of -, county Of ----, ss-i. ---
-. clerk q the me ., same oeihs
whose genuine signature appears to the foregoing
affidavit, was, at the time of signing the same,
Justice Of the peace in and for the county and State
aforesaid, duly qualified, and that all his official
acts such are entitled to full faith and credit
III testimony whereof ! have hereuntO set my
hand clerk and aft xed the seal Of said court,
this 49, day OF ~. 49,.