The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1874-10-03

wiz and Hum0r.

litTIil 3UltcUsetS-
WHEN is It man not a man: When he
turns into a lane.
VINES is literary work like smoke:
When it rises III volumes.
Texas has a paper called the Moving
Ball The editor probably cnculates 1t
with his shot gum.-C0trier-J0tn720t.
WHEs man reminds you that you
owe him, just make note of it. He
VIII take more interest IN the matter II
you humor him IN that way.
WELL, Pat, Jim didn't quite Kill you
with the brickhat, did he r No; but
/ wish he had. - why SOP 80 that
I could have seen him hung, the vii
lam, .
AI.ExAzDEE DUMAS was asked recent
N why the gallery Of theatre was
called Paradise, ID France. " Because,
replied the wit, apples are eaten
there.
How much for the print p . Nine
cents, mrun Nineteel cents III
giae you eighteen. g Nine cents, mum;
you misunderstood nae. = Oh, nine
cents! I'll give you eight.
g You are writing my bill on very
ner. Never mind, said the lawyer,
1t has to be filed before it comes into
court. -
4 POLITICIAN was pinioned, hand and
foot, and laid III the grass on the lime OF
march of the Northwestern army Of
grasshoppers; bat they never touched
him And thus do our fondest hopes
decay.
The editor of areligious paper is mad
because he undertook to state that Mr..
Spurgeon. lin his SsSvord ard Trowel,"
said So and 50, and the printer called it
''Shirt and Towel.
joe JEFFERSON has been performing
IN Chicago. When girls there wept ut
the sorrows Of his Rip Van Wiakie
other jealous femininos said 1t was done
just to show new lace handkerchiefs.
you can get your boots BACKED in
side there said hotel clerk to Il
guest, pointing to the porter's room,
L don't want my boots BACKED inside"
responded the stranger, in tones of as
toDishment
DID anything about the defendant
strike your eve IS remarkable?" asked
the Judge Of the plaintiff in a case of
assault and battery. at did yer Hon
OF. And what was it," continued
the Judge. " His fist, yer Honor"
y BfoE pond in Georgia was last year
drained, and the ground planted III
corn. The FIRST crop has made its APP
pearanca, and is 4 hybrid The stalk,
blades, a9d cobresemble corn, while the
kernels on the cob are grains of rice
els the Platte navigable for steam
boats.' inquired a traveller iii Il Union
Pacific railroad train OF a Nebraska man,
@ short time ago. '.Navigable forsteam-
boats" replied the Nebraska man; mo
not even for light draft ducks. Ger
Dinner.
JENKINS has become exceedingly de
PRAYED during the past season. His
last journalistic effort has been to inter
view the chambermaids at the Watering
places to ascertain how many matches,
towels, and cakes Of soap the guests
have carried away with them Shame,
jenkins!
Ar the court OF Louis XIV. there
were two fat nohlemen-cousins. The
king rallied one of them on his corpu-
lency, and added, & suppose you take
little OF no exercise z" . Your Majesty
VIII pardon me, :" replied the Duke,
g for [ generally walk two or three times
around my cousin every morning"
Your handwriting is very bad IN
deed said q gentleman to friend who
was more addicted to boating than to
study; you really ought to learn to
write better Az, ay, replied the
young man, q" it is all very well for Won
To tell me that but if ! We're to write
better, people would find out how /
spell "
HCMoI IN country hotel-.' Ny OF
ders have not been attended to, . said a
lady IN a mountain house: q ordered
hot water at seven, and it is now long
after. > Never mind, sad her Young
inmate, 81 viii hail the first porter
see and tell him that the lady in No. 10
IS DESTROYS Of getting herself into hot
water before breakfast The water
came.-Boston Ecening TRANSCRIPT.
DIALOGUE III q cemetery Wife-Ah,
husband, do you see this beautiful cary
lng?-how delicateiy cut IN the pure
white stone! Husband-Yes, veryvpret-
t.. Wife-But, William, you have no
taste for art, and don't enjoy these
things rs | do Just notice this slen-
der column Of immaculate marble, with
the touching question so beautifully
carved, Do they miss me at homer
Husband-Yes, / see and here is her
name on the foot stone G. A. b."
les, / guess they miss her, that was
her name. And there came silence.
Mary Kyle DALLAS saws love-inakinc
Is always awkward " 4 stolen kiss. If
seen, creates Il laugh, q squeeze of the
hand, il detected, IS great Joy. | my
self, who claim 10 be romantic. did oriu
at q shadow picture cast upon the wall
ct the white garden fence, next door. bv
Ehenuous gas light, when 1 saw the
shadow of the young lady with mnch
waterfall iced the shadow OF the young
gentleman with no wIiskers with sugar
rIums and then kiss it, but the shadows
were very black and took odd cI-inks IN
their noses as they moved to and fro.
and that may have been the cause Of my
mirth .
\ Story IS told concerning a storm ON
Lake Erie, when one of the passengers
was bemoanng the critical state III which
the vessel and its passengers were then
placed, and asked It friend il the c;lDtlin
DID not think the vessel was In great
peril The reply WAS that l4n Thought
they would get through ali ugh; il they
could keep out i'll deep water. Why"
sad the terrified one. can't we drown
Just as Well in deep water as We can il,