The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1874-11-20
HOW BEN PuRTLE GorH1s WIFE,

ished the most supreme contempt
for its neighbour. His face was
freckled as the most bespotted tur-
key egg /; his nose supported at the
bridge a huge bump, while the end
turned viciously to one side. His
form was as uncouth as his face was
ugly still, what was very strange,
he had a most handsome, bouncing,
blooming wife, such as only can be
grown on a country farm, s'Hcw
the DEUCE" said to Ben one day,
ibid you ever get such wife-you
uncoush, misshapen quintessence of
lnonstrosity ~ Ben was not at all
offended atthe impudence of my
question, and forthwith proceeded
thus to solve the mystery:
mo gals, what's sensible, amt
cotched by your hiphfalutin airs and
quality dressin' and cologne. You
know that Kate was always called
the prettiest girl in all these parts,
good tempered, too, and all the fell
lows tried to catch her. / used to
go over to Uncle Sammy's just to
look on, you know, and cast sleeps
eyes at Kate, but lord sakes [
had no more idea that could get
Kate than Jerusalem cricket could
hide in the hair on Sammy's bald
head. Icouldn't help signing, and
my ears would burn, and my heart
kind O. futter whenever would talk
to Kate. One day, when Kate port
o made funlof me like, it almost
killed me, sure. | went home with
something like a rock jostling around
in my breast, and even almost
thought I'd hang myself with the
first plow line i found.a cosy
"Did you hang yourself : ] ask
ed.
"No! Daddy blszed OFF at me for
me not taking old Ball to pasture in
the morning and scared mo SO bad
that |. forgot all about it. fibas
go ON" said |, seeing Ben pause
with apparent regret that he had
not executed his vow.
"Well, one Sunday morning, I
reckon, about a year after the hang
ing scrape, got up aud scraped my
face with daddy's razor, and put aon
my new linsey coat and copperas
britches, nanny had dyed with
sassafras bark, and tixings, and went
over to Uncle Sammy's, Now I'D
got to loving Kate by this time like
all creation, but I'D never told any,
body about my feelings. Well.
when l got there, / found Joe Sharp,
and his two sisters was there, and
that the order Of the day was to go
a muscadine hunting Joe Sharpe
was flying around--'Miss Kate this
and Miss Kate 'tother'--by and by
we came to nasty black muddy
slough that we had to cross on log,
and nothing would do but that Joe
Sharp should lead Miss Kate across
They got about half way when in
went a tarnation big bull frog, and
in went Miss Kate to the waist in
the nasty, black, muddy slough. ~
Joe ran backward and forwards on
the log hallowing for a pole to help
her out. was in there and had
her out in less than no, time, Joe
Sharp came up and says, Miss Kate
are you hurt9' My dander was up,
and | couldn't stand IT. | just
caught him by the seat Of his wtite
trousers and the back of his coat COLI
lar ana gave him toss, Maybe he
didn't go clear under whenhe struck
the water. / didn't wait to see him
out. Me and Kate struck right for
the house. BY and by Kate Says:
Ben just let me hold on to your
arm !! my knees feel sort o weak
1 made q tremendous effort to say
something nice, but confound the,
luck, ! couldn't get my mouth off,
no how. But I felt as strong as an
elephant, and helped Kate alongs
BY and by Kate says: Ben, that
Joe Sharp is good for nothing,
sneaking, cowardly nobody, and ia
be puts his head inside our house
again, I'll souse him with dirty wa
ter, sure.l I made another trenen-.
dous effort to get my mouth off, but
nothing could | say. By and By
Kate says: Ben, 1 feel that you.
are my protector, and believe daddy
about right when be says you are
worth all the boys in the neighbor-
hood ] made another tremendous
effort to get my mouth off, and out
il popped sure, enough-said 4, Kate
If you are going have me, just say
so, right straight up and DOWN.
Kate didn't say anything, bat hung
down her head and kinder sighed.--
| felt encouraged; said /, Kate, if
you are going to have me just
squeeze ny hand, and she squoze IL
right straight. Great geemeny,
how did feel. felt like a s.ream
of sassafras tea, sweesened with mo-
lasses, was running through my
bones. I cotched her right around
the neck and kissed her square on
the mouth, and she never tried the
first time to get loose.
"Old Sammy was mighty well
pleased about the thing, and so was
the old woman, and we got married
n Al