Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1872-1875, 1874-02-19
3 IN ADVANCE.
Roa5

form sequestered village declared that
it was as SO still at night in the country tay-4
ern where he lodged That you could hear
n bed tick. Sd
a country lady tells of a smart wiiffe wiiff
that help d her husband to raise seventy
acres of wheat. The way she helped him
was to stand in the doorway and shake {. {
broom Mt him when lie sat down to resi-.
Ajudge once said to a prisoner, q Have
you anything to Offer to the Court before
sentence passed on you ?, The prisoner
at once anscred, "No. Judge, Ihad ten
dollars, but my lawyers took that. -
Among the gifts of a bride waaa broom,
with the following:
"This trifling gift accept of me,
It's use would commend:
In sunshine nsc the brushy part,
In storms the other end >,
A friend OF ours thinks it o mistake to-
suppose women have stronger attach
ments than men. Aman is often attached
to an old hat, but he asks, aWho ever
heard of woman being attached'to an
old bonnet?"
a rheumatic grocer, living up towf, is
now spoken of as the most polished gen
tleman here. His loving wife bathed.
him thoroughly with what she supposed
was balsamic preparation for his ills.
and afterward discovered that she had
used furniture polish.
A dirty man, soliciting his friends
advice how he should dress himself for
masquerade, the following answer:
Only just wash your hands and face and
put on u clean shirt, and I'll be hanged
ifany one will know yonl .sa q
"If thisjury convicts my client said
Missouri lawyer, rolling up lis sleeves
and displaying his ponderous fists, 81
shall feel compelled to meet each one and
hammer justice into his soul through his
head" Verdict of not guilty
p.e !
Perhaps it is not generally known that
eating few grains ofpnrched coffee after
onions, will entirely remove the upleas
ant odor from the breath. AS this disa.
grccablc effect is quite an objection to n
popular vegetable, it is we'll specific
should be known.
Two babies were recently shipped sew
cral hundred miles byexpress, in Oregon,
and arrived Mt their destination all right;
but the poor express agent was almost
worn out telcgraphing ahead for milk,
shingles, etc., for spanking purposes, and
other neccssarics.
81 suppose" said physician smiling,
and trying to be witty while feeling the
pulse of n patient who had reluctantly
submitted to solicit his advice, III suppose
you think me bit of humbug." "Sir,'
gravcly replied the sick man, 81 was not
aware that you could discover mans
thoughts by feeling his pulse"
An Irish domestic. newly engaged
presented to his master, one morning, u
pair of boots, the leg of one of which WA
much longer than the other. Glow
comes it, You rascal, that these boots are
not of the same lcngth?" "I really don't
know, sir; but what bothers me most is
that the pair down strirs nrc in the Same
fix"
Now, johnny" said a venerable lady
TO her six-ycar-old, nephew, who was per-
sistently denying an offence of which she
accused him 81 know you are not telling
the truth; l see it in your eyes" Pulling
down the lower lid of the organ that had
so nearly betrayed his want of veracity,
johnny exultingly replied, You can't
tell anything about it, aunt; that eye was
always little streakcd.,'
"YoH haze hccrn, gentlemen of the
Jury" said All eloquent advocate-"you