The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-12
The COYiIle CAndY.Pnlling.

th0io was Cauuy -puuluB ~
Mrs. Coville's residence, the other
evening. There were some forty peo-
pie present and they made Jolly occa-
sion of it. Every one in attendance
was pleased with the cordial welcome
and assiduous attention given by Mr..
and Mrs. Coville. And, indeed, that
worthy couple did show thorough ap-
probation. Mr.. Coville may, perhaps,
have WINGED little when some face
tious member of the party threw two
pound hunk of the candy on the stove
pipe, and roared to see it trickle down (;
and Mrs. Ooville may have looked
thoughtful moment on discovering O
pan of dripping molasses on the key
board of the piano but they entered
into the amusement with hearty good
will, and, when the guests departed, at
2 P. NJ, it was with the unanimously
expressed conviction that nobody ever
had a better time, and that the Covilles
were the sweetest people of their &C.
quaintance. In another and less agree
able sense they certainly were. When
the visitors were gone, the Covilles
took glance over their parlor, sighed
audibly, put out the lights, and went
to bed.
With the unrelenting light of day
upon the rooms, the Covilles appeared
to the best advantage as very sweet
family. Mr.. Coville went down stairs
in his stocking-feet, and as soon as he
struck the hall he commenced to shed
yarn. Reaching the parlor, finally,
with the cords in the backs of his legs
aching from the exertions they were
subjected to, he Immediately collapsed
into chair and smote his forehead in
abject despair. There were yellow
streaks on the stovepipe, and dark
stains on the keyboard of the piano,
and auburn clots on the carpet, chairs,
and wall. They were light-hearted
and joyous people, were those candy
pullers. There wasn't an article Mr..
Coville touched against but that he had
to tear himself away from. He found
treacle in his boots when he attempted
to draw them on, and it seemed at one
time as if he would have to cut his
legs off at the kuees to get free of them
again. And when he rose up the chair
came with him-that ie, came part way
up-and then dropped off in an unex,
pected manner, and raped him severe
ly on very sore heel. There was O
sheet of paper on the chair, and glaed
rather tightly to it, but with enough
melancholy candy on its upper surface
to take still tigher hold of Mr.. Co.
ville's pants, and to hang there even
after its ally had dropped to the floor.
And it being part Of programme of q
principal announcement in very large
type, Mrs. Colville, who had now
made her appearance. and was trying
desperately to free her stocking foot
from an extra large COB of the trouble
on the door-still, was astonished and
Mortified beyond measure to behold her
husband dancing about the room in q
very ecstacy of rage, and advertising in
q very conspicuous manner, Views OF
the Holy Land"
"Why, Hezekiah Coville," she
screamed, "what on earth are you
doing with that thing on your pants p
can outraged heaven only knows
what I am doing, or going to do !" cried
the miserable man, clutching at the
panorama bill and bringing away q
handful of it. 81 never see such a
house as this" he protested, with tears
in his eyes, " "since the day was born.
1t is as good as 5000 damage. I'd butt
my brains out against the wall, said he,
glaring around gloomily, eff 1 could
find place clean enough to do it,"
81 wouldn't be such hogs, if I were
some people 1 know p exclaimed the
unhappy woman, and sinking on chair
she burst into fit of passionate weep
ing, while Mr.. Coville renewed his
LII
dreadful imprecations at society.
But this was not all the trouble. Dis
figured walls, ruined carpet, and
spoiled furniture were bad enough but
the crowning evil of the occasion, the
very pinnacle of the family despair, was
Master Coville. Such a spectacle as
that young gentleman presented, when
he appeared, was never before seen in
any family, we are certain. There was
candy in his ears, and in his eye-wink-
ers, and down his back, and in his
pockets, and on his clothes and there
was candy on the inside of bis jacket
sleeves, and so much Of it that he could
not, trying his best, get that garment
more than part way on. And as for his
hair, no pen can describe it, and a
steam-plow wouldn't attack it. It was
just simply matted with candy. Had
he plunged headlong into a hogshead
of the molten article, his cranium
would not have been more thoroughly
smeared with it. Where on earth that
boy could have been, and how he ever
got such quantities over him, no one
could tell. To mind of ordinary busi-
ness capacity, it would have been a
tn1,1t IN al,
should be saved-the boy or the mo-
lasses. Mr.. Coville no sooner saw him
than he checked a mouthful of invec-
tives with suddenness that made him
gasp, and, dropping into chair, fell to
staring at the struggling and besmeared
youth with all his might. Mrs. Coville,
with greater presence of mind, went for
him at once, and, taking him by his
sound ear, shook him till he ratified
like pepper of corn. All efforts to get
a comb into his hair were unavailing
and, made desperate by it's resistance,
the disgusted parents clipped it off
the father sitting on the struggling
legs, and holding, with the grip of a
vice, the struggling arms, while the
operation was performing. With his
hair thus cut, the miserable boy was
nearly driven to the verge of despair,
but finds some consolation in feeling of
an iron bolt which he constantly car
ries in his pocket, and which he de-
signs driving, at the first favorable op-
portunity, against the skull of certain
insurance agent who was at the party.
-Danbatry NetOs.
Tho Humau RIond