davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03

MADAM" screamed Simmer. ssit
you don't cease stopping my shirt
bosom, and remove your umbrella
from my corn, l shall be obliged tc
call the police. Let me go, say"
'The children are here" she per.
sisted. "They recognize their dear
father; don't you, children?"
''Yes, yes" they exclaimed, ''it's pa
it's our own dear pa"
And then they grabbed Simmer
by his trowser legs and hung to his
coat tail.
woman" he shrieked, 'sthis is
getting serious. Unhand me, l say."
And he tried to disengage himself
from her embrace-while all the
brakemen and the baggage master,
and the newsboys stood around
and said his conduct was infamous.
In the midst ofthe struggle stranger
entered with acarpet-bag. He look
ed exactly like Slimmer-and when
he saw his wife in SINNERS arms he
became excited, and fioored Simmer
with that carpet-bag and sat on him,
and smote his nose, and caromed on
his head, and asked him what he
meant. Simmer was removed on a
stretcher, and the enemy went of
with his wife and family in a cab.
He called next day to apologize.
His wife had made the mistake be-
cause of SINNERS likeness to him.
And now Simmer wishes he may soon
be kicked in the face by mule, so
that he will resemble no other human
being in the world.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
A WeaseI's Strategy.

An exchange gives the following
account of weasePs strategem, with
the suspicious remark that it is
vouched for by a friend: "a grist
mill was infested with large rats, un-
til weasel came there and destroyed
nearly all of them. There was, how
ever, one large rat, which he could
not conquer. They had several
pitched battles, in which the rat
whipped the weasel, until, whenever
the rat appeared, the weasel would
seek safety in fight. They were
watched for several days, when the
weasel was observed to be digging a
hole in the earth under pile of lum-
Der. After he had completed it, he
approached the mill, and the rat came
after him as usual. He made some
show of fight until he had got the rat
interested, and then ran into his hole.
The rat followed, when the weasel
was seen to come out at the other
end of the hole, and run at the en-
trance afterlthe rat. Subsequent ex-
animation proved thatthe weasel had
made theS9ble large enough for the
rat to enf*f,. but had contracted the
other anakso he could not get out.
Having thus trapped his antagonist,
the weasel took him in the rear, and
easily conquered him.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
From the Earth to the SUN.

Astronomers are pretty nearly
agreed among themselves that the in
teryal between our planet and the sun
is equivalent to about 95, 600, 900 miles
This is very large number mere
trille, however. when compared with
others that we meet with in astrono-
my-and leaves a vague Impression
on the mind. How then, is it pos
sible to form some definite idea of
this wide distance.
Let us suppose a train of cars to
have started from New York for the
sun ON the 1st of JAN, IA, with con
slant speed of thirty miles an hour.
1t would arrive at its destination in
the year 2235, or about three hun
dred and sixty years from now. In
this length of time the imaginary
train, moving with the same speed,
would have circumvented the earth
1876 times!
Light travels at the rate of 1872, 900
miles in second of time. A single
ray flashed from the sun at precisely
six o'clock this morning would reach
us about eight minutes and seven
teen seconds past six.
If we suppose the intervening
space to contain atmospheric air, and
the sun to be nhabited-which is
barely possible-a man standing on
the earth and shouting with all his
might to his neighbor up above would
not be heard by the latter until four
teen years and two months after he
had given utterance to the sound!
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
The Fellow That Looks Like Me.

Max Adeler, who writes for q Phila-
delphia paper, has a friend named
Simmer, who deserves pity. He was
going up to Reading not long since,
and when reaching the depot he hap
pened to look in the lady's room. A
woman sat there with a lot of bag
gage and three children, and when
she saw Simmer she rushed to-
ward him, and before he could de-
fend himself she threw her arms
about his neck, nestled her head
upon his breast, and burst into tears.
Simmer was amazed, indignant, con-
founded; and ere he could find utter
.ance for his feelings, she exclaimed
80, Henry, dear Henry we are
united at last. Are you well? Is
Aunt Martha still alive! Haven't
you longed to see your own LouisaY'
And she looked into SINNERS
face and smiled through her tears.
Madam said he, solemnly, ''if
am the person alluded to as Henry,
permit me to say that you have made
mistake. Ny name is Lemuel, j
have no Aunt Martha, and / don't
own a solitary Louisa. Oblige me by
letting go my coat; it excites re-
mark M - sa
Then she buried her bonnet deeper
into his waistcoat, and began to cry
harder than ever, and said
20, Henry, how can you treat me
so? How can you pretend that you
are not my husband?"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
The Plague of Grasshoppers.

From Private Letter by Mrs. J. d.
Barrett, of Nemaha County, Kansas.l
1t looks very sad and dreary to me
to-day. The sun is quite hidden by
the clouds of grasshOppers flying all
around and alighting on everything.
They are pelting against my doors
and windows as fast as hailstones
ever came. | can scarcely see through
my screen door for them, and to look
out as far Us eye can see, it looks like
a snOw-storm-as they fly their wings
look white, like flakes of snow in the
air. They destroy everything they
alight on. They have destroyed acres
and acres of corn, and now they are
going in our cornfield by clouds, and
will destroy it in a day. Every shrub
and tree is covered with them. You
know we read of Pharaoh's plague,
where the insects got into the knead-
ing trOughs. / think this is one of
them. Invent out by the door to try
to drive them off and they flew all
over me, and l had to change my
dress to get rid of them. Instead of
rain we are having showers of grass
hoppers. Our six windows are COM
pletely covered with them, and as 1
write they are pouring down the
chimney and coming down the stove
pipe.
Father has just come in. He can
not work out doors, for they blind
him; and they are coming faster,
and are now eating the netting off
my door and windows, and the heat
and close air are sitting. / never
saw anything so terrible in my life.
The ground is now completely COW
cred, and they cause such an offensive
smell that but for an occasional breeze
to carry it off, l know not what we
should do.
Please excuse mistakes, as | feel
so bad and nervous under this awful
scourge and desolatiOn. ...
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
A Tough Yarn.

A correspondent of the st. Louis
Republican describes the following
scene, which he says he witnessed
on a recent voyage to China.
One day | was putting on new
hook, about the size Of a boat hook,
when the man ut the wheel saw q
huge shark under our stern. He had
been following us for some time. AS
soon as he told me about it got a
large piece Of fat pork, three or four
pounds, for q bait and dropped it
overheard. His sharkship saw it
and came slowly toward it.. The wa
ter was nice and clear. He felt the
bait with his nose and turned over
on his side, opened his ponderous
mouth, and took in hook, bait and
all, then started. 1t fairly made the
woodwork smoke, as the heavy line
played out over it. We soon stopped
him by taking a round turn on be-
laying pin, and we brought him up
with a sudden jerk that almost
Strengthened out the huge iron hook.
1t took three men to haul him on
deck, and he made things lively for
while sure. He fiounced and bounced
around the poop-deck. into the lee
scuppers. The cook went for him
with a carving knife, and the first
lick he made at him he missed him.
The shark gave bounce, striking
the cook with his tail behind both
legs. The deck being slippery, the
cooks legs flew from under him, and
he dropped on the broad of his back
as fat as a founder The cook, moth
ing daunted, went for the shark again,
and this time cut him clean open.
That didn't take the fight out Of
him. 1t took two men, with board
across his tail, to hold it down to the
deck, while two men held the line
with the hook in his mouth, so he
could not do any more damage.
The shark is the sailors greatest
enemy at sea. Jack hates him worse
than poison. They took the insides
out of the fellow His heart beat for
two hours and twenty minutes, by the
watch. We pitched him overheard,
and he kept Hopping about as if he
wanted something; so we threw him
his insides, minus the heart, which
he no sooner saw than he gobbled
them up and started off; but they fell
out again through the slit the cook
made in him. He kept picking them
up and dropping them so often he
must have got tired of that job, for
he finally took them in his teeth and
made dive below out of sight.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
A Wonderful Baby.

From the Louisville Courier Journal. ]
The greatest wonder in Kentucky just
now arrived in the city from Glasgow,
Kentucky, and will be on exhibition
here in a few days. 1t came in the
shape of a three-year-old boy baby,
which weighs one hundred and twen
ty-six pounds, measures thirty-seven
inches around the chest, forty inches
around the waist, about fifty-six inch
es around the hips, twenty-six inches
around the thigh, and is forty inches
in height. Mr.. S. Fl. Chambers,
man of medium size and about forty
five years of age is its father. The
mother is rather small The child
when born was of ordinary size, and
was six months old before he began
to develop into such enormous proper
tions. He is a pretty boy, of lively
disposition and very intelligent.
With due respect to the boy and his
parents, as the reporter reviewed him
both lying on the bed and standing
up on the floor, he appeared more
like baby elephant than baby boy.
He is very stout, has a good appetite,
talks plainly and sleeps soundly.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
A Telescope View of the Moon.

By means of good telescope a
very distinct view may be obtained OF
the moon. With power Of 1000
we are, as it were, brought within
two hundred and thirty nine miles of
its surface, and on very favorable oc-
casions, power even higher than
this has been applied. With the
highest power, however, yet employ
ed, no trace of any inhabitants has
been discovered, though any large
town must have been seen, did such
exist on the visible side. Even to the
naked eye the moon presents the ap-
pearance of rugged and uneven sur
face, and telescope observations con-
firm the same. -..
We find that in many parts of its
surface very high mountains exist,
and the elevation of many Of these
has been measured by observing the
shadows cast by them when the sun
shines obliquely. At the time of the
full moon these shadows that have
hitherto been so conspicuous,
disappear, as the sun then shines
vertically upon them. Very ac-
curate maps have now been drawn
of the moons surface, on large scale,
and the principal mountains have re-
ceived names, usually those of cele
brated astronomers. One peak named
Newton, is found to have an elevation
of nearly twenty four thousand feet,
and several others are very lofty.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
The Most NOrtLerly Town in the
World.

A correspondent of the Alta Cali
fornia, in letter from Norway, thus
refers to the most northerly town in
the world:
Next we visited Hammerfest, the
most northerly town in the world. 1t
has population of 2,057. There are
many Laplanders and Finlanders in
the town. The principal business is
in cod-liver oil and fish, and the odor
from the oil makes it very disagree
able. Reindeer and goats abound
here, while there are but six horses
in the town. don't know whether it
is because of the fish diet or of the
long winter nights, but any disconso-
late, childless couple had better come
and spend a season here. The sun
sets here on November Is, and does
not rise again until January 90.
Children 90 to school with lanterns
for about six weeks. In the summer
the sun does not set from the 1st of
June till the 22d of July. There is
no chance for hotel keepers to make
any money on candles, as they do in
Germany and France. l had my
photograph taken by the midnight
sun. You get demoralized here.
Mrs. X. has already. She sits up to
one and two o'clock knitting socks,
waiting for night to come. On the
9th of June the Laplanders brought
many children into town to have them
baptized or confirmed. Renders
you can see fifty at time on the hill
sides, and goats by the hundred.
On June 23d (called here st. Hans
day J or Midsummer day, they kindled
bonfires on the sides of the mountains
around the town, and had a Jolly time.
The weather is horrible. The ther-
mOmeter stands from four to five
Reaumur. There is one hotel here,
and its management might be easily
improved, although the landlady is
kind and obliging. We have fish
aid reindeer for breakfast, reindeer
and fish for dinner, and for supper
some more fish and reindeer This
jtmping-off place is in latitude 70 40
l.3. This is cut on a granite pill
lar, surmounted by bronze globe,
With projecting axis, indicating the
pane of the celestial pole; and on
two sides of the pillar are Inscriptions,
il Latin and Norwegian, that thisis an
important station. though not termin
al; that it is on the north cape of the
great European arc of meridian, the
ssuthern termination being on the
meridian. 1t was undertaken by the
Dvereigns of Norway, Sweden, and
Russia in 1862. On the same
SPOT, or nearly so, General Sabina
made an important series of pendulum
experiments in 1923. Fugheneas
vas one of the chain of stations
extending nearly from the equator to
the pole, at which pendulum obser-
yations were made for obtaining the
variations of gravity on the earth's
surface.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
How She Dipped Him.

The Cape May Wave relates the
following incident: Among the ex-
cursionists that came from Whining
ton by steamer was an unevenly
weighed man and wife. She 300 av-
oirdupois; he, scarce 100 pounds would
poise. Well, they must bathe, of
course; what were the trips to Cape
May without an ocean dip? A bath
house was secured. By tight squeez-
ing our fat lady got into a bathing
robe that was ready to burst at every
step. Little husband girdled about
his body a wooden garment that fit
like shirt on a kildeer. Down they
go, bold as couple of whales, TO the
waters; but just at the oceans edge
Puny suddenly halted, looked with
awe On the furious pillows, and then
into the face of his determined three
hundred. On her countenance were
the words, Come onr On his trembl-
ing lips shiyered the sounds, oh, nor
The small specimen of diminutive
husbandry feared to risk his diminu-
tive portion of flesh and bones in the
dashing foam lest some unlucky bill
low might swallow him down like a
snipe. You shall go in,' said the fat
woman Il won't, said skinny, at the
same time making frantic efforts to
tear away; down he goes in the sand
scratching worse than Kilkenny cat.
Down drops the three hundred upon
terrified bones, slick as hawk upon
spring chicken. The sand flew,
legs kicked, man screamed, yet in
spite of all the mammoth wife gather
ed her one hundred pounds of furious
sweetness in her arms, walked COM
placently into the biggest breakers and
kersouse she lands him headfore-
most into the sea, and as he popped
up to the surface, half strangled, she
pressed him to her bosom, saying,
Now, honey, that's what you came
all the way from Wilmington to en-
joy.'" .# .........
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
Died of Obesity.

A colored man named Charles
Crook died horrible death at River
head on Tuesday night last. He
was a man of prodigious size and in
consequence of a great accumulation
of fat he had for some time been
hardly able to get about. For the
two weeks preceding his death he was
in a constant, terrible struggle for
breath, the air-passage being nearly
closed by the increasing fat, and he
was at last literally suffocated from
this cause. For five days and nights
he was compelled to remain constant
" on his hands and knees, as this
was the only position in which he
could breathe at all, and at the end
even this resort failed him. His
weight was S96 pounds-M 7,
Korld.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03

An old man of very active physiog-
nOmy, answering the name of Jacob
Wilmot, was brought to the police
court His clothes looked as if they
might have been bought second hand
in his youthful prime, for they had
suffered more from the rubs of the
world than the proprietor himself.
'What businessw
''None; lam traveller" -. @
"A vagabond, perhaps" $3.50 .a
"You are not far wrong. Travellers
and yagabonds are about the same
thing. The difference is that the
latter travels without money and the
former without brains"
"Where have you traveled?"
"All over the Continent.
"For whatpurpose?"
Conservation"
''What have you observedY
ga little to commend, much to cen
sure, and great deal to laugh at"
"Humph! what do you commend?"
"a handsome woman that will stay
at home, an eloquent preacher who
will preach short sermons, a good
writer that will not write too much,
and a fool that has sense enough to
hold his tongue"
What do you eensareY
"a man that marries a girl for her
fine clothing, a youth who studies
medicine while he has the use of his
hands, and the people who will elect
drunkard to office"
What do you laugh at?'
81 laugh at man who expects his
position to command that respect
which his personal qualifications and
qualities do not merit"
He was dismissed.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
Hon. II. $. Bundy.

fCircleville Herald and Union.
Mr.. Bundy is one of the ablest
men in the State. He made his mark
during his first Congressional term,
eliciting the commendation of the
ripest and most adroit statesmen for
wise and judicious course-especial-
ly for his efforts in behalf of a good
discriminating judicious protective
tariff. In the present Congress he
has been no less useful and distin-
guished. Mr.. Bundy is selftaught
man; as we have before remarked,
''of the people, with the people, and
for the people" He stands entirely
clear and above any participation or
imputation of jobbery or ringism.
He has been frequently mentioned in
connection with the Gubernatorial
chair of, Ohio; but he is fitted for
any station; and being yet young
and vigorous-in the very prime of
life-we hope tosee him filling seat
in the "Upper house" of our National
Legislature.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
For the Gallipolis Journal.
The Silver Side.
BY MRS. SARA woLvERToN.

lOnce more the flowers are blooming,
The bird-song in the tree,
And life looks very pleasant
From present view for me;
Ny heart beats not so heavy,
Ny laugh more joyous rings,
And duty now with pleasure,
Her daily offering brings.
I've walked a weary pathway,
Mid trials dark and deep,
My tryst with care and sorrow,
Had faithfully to keep;
I've watched beside the angel,
All still and pale and cold
Until upon the dial
The hour of parting told.
I've seen the strength of manhood
Go down the covered way,
I've seen the years, nigh hundred,
Give up their case of clay;
And youth, twas full of promise,
With long years held before,
Break all the cords of holding,
And shut the low, green door.
Pve seen the angel bounded,
'"Thus far, no farther 60,
The fountain in the desert
With cooling waters flow.
The bloom of health twas banished,
Before the breath of pain,
Called back to bring the roses,
And royal robes again.
And now I've reached my resting,
And fairer seems the sky,
For all that sea of sorrow
Has passed forever by.
I've CLEANED, and safely garnered,
Whatever was of worth,
TO aid whene'er requires,
The purposes of earth.
The other, down the streamlet,
May lightly float away,
And not, by introspection,
Cloud DER one sunny ray,
I'll take each coming pleasure,
Enjoy with all my might,
And not because I've suffered,
Turn daytime into night.
DETROIT, June, 1874
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03

An Act to provide for the stamping of
unstamped instruments, documents or
papers.
BE it enacted By the Senate and
House Of Representatives. of the
United States of Americd IN Con-
gress assembled, That all instru-
ments, documents and papers hereto
fore made, signed, or issued, and sub
ject to stamp duty or tax under any
law heretofore existing and remain
ing unstamped may be stamped by
any person having an interest there
in, or where the original is lost, q
copy thereof, at any time prior to
the first of January, eighteen hun
dred and seventy-siX. And said in
struments, documents and papers,
and any record thereof shall be as
valid to all intents and purposes as
if stamped when made, signed or is
sued, but no right acquired in good
faith shall in any manner be effected
by such stamping as aforesaid; Pro
Uided, That, to render such stamp
ing valid, the person desiring to
stamp the same shall appear with the
instrument, document, or paper, or
copy thereof, before some judge or
clerk of court of record, and before
him fix the proper stamp; and the
said judge or clerk shall indorse on
such writing or copy certificate,
under his hand, when made by said
judge, and under his hand and seal,
when made by said clerk, setting
forth the date at which and the place
where the stamp was thus affixed, the
name of person presenting said wri-
ting or copy, the fact that it was thus
affixed, and that the stamp was duly
cancelled in his presence.
SEC. 3. That all laws in conflict
with the above are hereby repealed. }
Approved June 90, 1874.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03

Two letters were recently put in ev-
idence in a breach of promise case,
in London, which bear strong re-
semblance TO the ''chops and tomato
sauce" of Mr.. Pickwick. The de-
fendant was a lodger in the house of
his affiancefs parents, and being alb
sent on one occasion, he wrote her
and tenderly advised her ''to take
some beer every day." also that she
left his tooth brush, which she could
use until his return" Such proofs
of affection induced the jury to return
a verdict for the lady, damage, ST.
250.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03

Mem. for bachelors-That poor
Jones who was missed for so long,
has been found-narried.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-09-03
United States Internal Revenue
COLLEcToR's OFFICE.
llrH DISTRICT, ONO,
Portsmouth, Aug. 18th, 1874.

The attention of persons holding
unstamped Deeds, Mortgages, Notes,
&c, issued prior to Oct. lst 1872,
and subject to stamp duty is called
to the Actof Congress approved June
23d, 1874. Stamps can be had at
this office. b. +. COATES,
Collector.