Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-12-31
Pith and Point.
GOOD bread is often much kneadt


THERE are various stations in life,
but the least desirable is a police sta
ton.
YOU'VE ladies at needlework are not
always what they appear. They are
sometimes scanning.
WHAT is the difference between a
wise man and a sailor? One is a far
seeing man and the other a sea-faring
man.
SOMEBODY advertises a preparation
for keeping a lady's hands free from
chaps. A report that she has no money
would do the same thing.
LAST week st. Croix girl, in fit of
anger because she couldn't get her foot
into small shoe, seized carving
knife and cut off her little toe.
AN Indiana Judge has decided that if
woman will shorten pie-crust with
butter at 80 cents per pound her hus-
band has good grounds for divorce.
An improvident Danbury youth en-.
tertains high appreciation for the
State prison, which he regards as "the
only place where fellow is not dunned
for his board and washing every Satur-
day night"
FOND Wife: "John, dear, be sure
and don't waste your money on accident
insurance tickets" Husband Ca COM
mercial mani: "Why, my love?" Fond
Wife: because you are never lucky
enough to be in collision !"
A GENTLEMAN said to his gardener
"George, the time will come when a
man will be able to carry the manure
for an acre of land in one of his waist
coat-pockets To which the gardener
replied: 81 believe it, sir; but he will
be able to carry all the crop in the
other pocket.
An Irishman used to come home often
drunk, and once when he was watering
his horse his wife said to him, "Now,
Paddy, is not that haste an example to
We? Don't you see he laves off when
he has enough, the crayther he's the
most sensible haste of the two." ooh,
it's very well to discoorse like that,
Biddy," cried Paddy, +" but if there was
another horse at the other side of the
trough to say, Here's your health, my
ould boy would he stop till he drunk
the whole trough, think yep"
ADETRoIT woman called at one of the
book sto-es the other day, and said she
weuld like to take look at some
chro-moes," as she wanted to find
something to please Harvey, who had
worked on the farm al summer and
should be rewarded. Anything relg-
ious?" asked the clerk, as he ran over
a lot of such chromos and engravings.
"Well, no, not exactly religious" she
answered. "Some of it might be SOL
emn-like, but down in the corner there
ought to be dog-fght, or a man falling
off barn, or sunthin' to kinder inter
est the young mind"
SANTA CLAUS POOR SPELL
Word came from the country where Santa Claus
dwells
That he was aarmingly i'll;
| And fears were expressed that he'd not be on hand
With presents The stockings to FILL
The children had fancied the precious old saint
Secure from all moral mishaps,
And they said it queer that at this time of year
He should have such dreadful collapse.
oh what shall we do ?" cried the little ones ali.
With grief that they could not control;
"Oh what shall We do for pennies are few,
And there isn't toy taat is whole
81 thought that he'd bring me wagon" said
JACK,
a. want q dolly" said Jane.
81 looked for a sled this Christmas said Fred;
And they all Il to crying again.
" 1t won't be like Christmas I'm certain of that -
Said young Master Frank with pout:
and the bells Will ding-dong monotonous song
II Santa Claus isn't about.
60 guess" said mamma, 9" that the giant Despair
Came into castle to-day,
And filling with gloom every heart in this room,
Took all OF our sunshine away.
Dear Santa Claus doesn't like children that pout
And make such dismal ado:
Because he. alack has pain in his back,
And feels much more wretched than you.
"a smile on the face will do Santa Claus good
And help him, I'm sure, to get well
And our hearts may keep time to a musical chime
Though Santa Claus has a poor SPELL"