The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-12-25
[From the Atlanta Weekly.]
Under the Hat-Tree.


We've told you nonsense-stories
In multitudes of DOZENS
You pull our ears and necktie,
You climb upon our chair,
And stroke-the wrong way always
Our journalistic hair;
With rosy, baby fingers
You pat our classic features,
Coaxing for zone more story
Insatiate little creatures!
Between the bores and babies
His printers and his pets
IT'S very little quiet
Your poor relation gets!
So take, with merry Christmas,
And many glad New Years,
The story that the editor
Writes for the little dears.
Once upon time, which of course made
her contemporary with
Methuselah,
Artaxerxes,
The Five Little Pigs,
Napoleon crossing the Alps,
Ten Little Indians and
Queen Victoria,
there lived little girl named Kate. She was
good little girl. She never told cherrytrees,
she was always ready to run errands, she
was pleasant all day, and never discussed the
question when bedtime came. But on the
day when my story Eegins, Kate had been
rather unfortunate. She had
Torn her dress,
Lost her spelling book.
Had three bad marks,
And forgotten to put away
Her rubbers.
When things are at their worst, repentance
and new start are advisable, SO she
Asked nurse to mend her dress,
Organized search for her spellinGsbook, and
Found it, and put away
Her rubbers.
But not being able to do anything about the
bad marks, she sat down under the stairs in
the shade of the hat-tree to repent, and think
over all the good little stories that she had
ever read about little girls who never tore
their dresses, were anxious for information
upon natural history, polemics, science, art,
and Darwinism, and who furnished material
and subject for extended obituary notices at
the age of seven.
If, my dear little friends, you don't under
stand the long words that we have just used
you may ask us what they mean, without
fear, for we don't know.)
So Kate sat for some time and regretted
her bad little heart, and wished that she
hadn't been born, and that she had dough-
nut and that she knew how to be as good as
those storybook girls. Suddenly she heard a
little bit of small, wee tiny voice saying,
''Solomon was wise man,
eyes, he was" said Kate, s'but what
makes you say so?" Meanwhile she looked
all about to see who could be speaking. Sit
ting up straight beside her was little red
ant.
'Oh," said Kate, 'you couldn't get into
the sugar-bowl, because there's chalk mark
round it-and so you come here to talk like a
catechism."
ssSolomon was wise man; he said go TO
the anti continued the insect, who had been
much fattered by Solomon's remark-not
Kate's.
81 shan't do it," said Kate.
81 knew you wouldn't go to me, SO came
to you," said the ant.
81 don't like ants, and my mother does not
wish to have them in the house." said Kate,
not very civily.
"Then we will walk out into the yard,'
said the ant. won't you take my armP;
"Pm too tall" said Kate, ''and I'm afraid
should take too long steps for you"
"Then it's of no consequence" said the
ant.
So they went out together into the yard.
They sat down. Kate knew it was civil to
talk, and entertain the ant but did not know
what to say. At last she asked, timidly:
sWhy did Solomon say that?''
81 don't know" replied the ant, "and 1
don't care He was wise man and said you
were TO 60 TO the ant; and l went for you
and brought you here. 1 consider that I
have done more than my part"
Kate reflected minute. 81 think know
why" said she, "My mamma says there is a
lesson to be learned from the humblest
creature. That is what she said, exactly.
Now you must teach me something"
"What shall it be" said the ant, little
stifdy for he did not fancy being called the
humblest creature.
'Not fractions, please-or the scale of G.,
or hemming pillow-cases," said Kate 'for
they are so tiresome."
81 don't know about them" said the
ant
"Then anything nice that You do know
said Kate, quite cheered.
'fI'n teach you how to eat sugar out of the
barrel; to live in the cracks of the floor, and
at last, when you are tired of life to drown
yourself in the apple-sauce."
"Oh, that is not at all nicew said Kate
81 don't want to learn that. 1 want to be a
good little girl, and if you can't tell me how,
must find some one that will. Is there
any one else that knows anything?"
81 don't think there is,' replied the ant
and he looked redder than ever, because