The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1874-10-01
both! 1t was enough to convince any one

In MarCn Fanny DdTton, ME. NueS'
ford's cousin-a widc-awake, rosy.
checked, little old maid, came to make
them visit. OF course Mrs Chesford
was very poorly-she always was when
there was any one to listen to her com.
plants.
1t did not take Fanny long to under.
stand the position of affairs in the fam.
lily. Mrs. Chesford had series of i'll
turns, and in the course of the week she
went through with yellow fever, measles
scrofula, small! -pox, cholera morbus
neuralgia and congestion of the brain, to
say nothing of slight attacks of heart
complaint, pneumonia and bilious jaun'
dice.
One day Fanny took Mr.. Chesford
aside and had Il half hours serious con
versation with him. At the close of the
| interview he looked almost cheerful and
Fanny was jubilant.
That evening when Mrs. Chesford set
up the customary cry that she was dying
Fanny joined with her cordially, and en-
tered into the making of her will with
great evident relish. She also suggested
| that the sick woman should have her
hair crimped when she was laid out, and
that she should he buried in a metallic
coffin.
Mrs Chcsford looked very much dis.
concerted hut did not explode, as Fanny
expected she would. She kept her tenn
per
The next day she made another at
! tempt at dying. Fanny stood by the
bedside and asked Mr. Chcsford very
audible question about board to lay
her out on; and Mr.. Chesford replied
quite as audibly that he had always cal
culatcd to use the wood-shcd door. He
had had it off from the hinges two
months, he said, for this very purpose.
The dying woman looked daggers at
him. and uttered a groan which might
have been heard Il quarter of a mile off.
Mr.. Chesford put his arm around
Fanny's waist and kissed her.
Never mind, DEAR said he, she's
too far gone to notice anything Her
eyes are set now
Mrs. Chesford sprang up in bed and
shook her fist at him.
set, indeed ~ said she. "Sct ! I'll
learn you what set is if you don't
Don't exert YOURSELF" said Fanny,
"dont! And don't worry about the
children I've promised David that I'll
be mother to them when you are
gone"
"Of course l am sorry to lose you,
Mariah." said Mr. Chesford, but you're
such great sufferer, it is wicked to want
you to live. And you're getting old,
too"
"Eh?" said Mrs. Chesford, sharply;
"old, ell? You want young wife, do
you! She's every day as old as amp
"She wanders," said Fanny, pityingly.
Poor soul! she's almost gone! Hadn't
You better step out, David, and ask Mrs
Hanscom to come over and help dress
the body"
"Oh, Fanny! my dearest girl! to think
| shall so soon be free" cried ChestOrd,
rapturously, land then thou wilt be
mine:'
Mrs. Chesford bounded to the floor,
and snatching her gown from the foot
board put herself inside it in Il twink
ling.
Selling bottle of smelling salts, which
happened to be the only weapon at hand,
Mrs. Chesford hurled it at the head of
her husband, and so accurate was her
aim that the looking glass on the oppo-
site side of the room was put out utterly.
PLAGUE take the looking glass;" cried
the lady" who keers for Il looking glass?
I'll larn you how to plot what you're
a-going to do after I'm dead! I'll larn
YOU! you-you-you!" and unable to eX-
press herself in words Mrs. Chesford
had recourse to the bottles again, and
washes, liniments, ready relief, pain
killer, and preparations innumerable fol-
lowed each other in quick succession
hurled in the direction of the devoted
pair!
you're a-going to take keer of my
children, be you? You turn-up-nOsed old
maid, you! III see you in Halifax tust !!
And you're going to lay me out on tine
wood-shed door, be you, Dave Chesford?
And you've kept it off the hinges two
months a-purpose, have yc:'
"YOu SAID you was a-gOing to die said
David, land thought it was best to be
prepared"
II amt a-going to die! won't! l
wouldn't if anybody would give me a
million! I'll live and spite We! And as for
you, Fanny Barton, you may take your
things and leave this house, bag and
baggage, or it'll be the worse for ye!'
From that time Mrs. ChestOrd was one
of the smartest. healthiest women in
Millville; and David had to "walk a
crack" as she expressed it, straighter than
ever before in his life.
Fanny went home, and Mrs. Chesford
never mistrusted that there was plot
between her and David. To this day she
speaks of Fanny as that wicked hussy"
that wanted to break up her family, and
congratulates herself on having met the
crisis with such coup daat-N. \
Weekly.