American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-12-26
CURRENT ITEMS.

MEN who are in dead earnest generally
make IA living.
ANOTHER Kentucky paper chronicles
! the birth of 1.-TWO twins"
LOWELL, Mass, won't let newsboys
cry out until after eight o'clock in the
| morning.
SAYS the Prescott (Arizona Miner:
Not hired girl is to be had for love,
money or both"
ANIAGARA COUNTY On. Y. man asked
to be excused from serving juror,
the other day, because Ibis motherin-
law was sick"
SOME men are just mean enough to
| raise a row because an absent minded
wife uses whiting to raise her biscuit in
| stead of baking powder.
A ST. ALBANs cat is n sure but painful
burglar alarm. When she hears an I'M
usual noise in the house she scratches
her masters face until he awakens.
A SOUTHERN Judge has decided that if
IA woman will shorten pie-crust with but
ter at seventy-five cents per pound her
husband has good grounds for divorce.
AN honest individual being asked why
he did not subscribe for a newspaper
explained: Because my father when
he died left me good many newspapers,
and have not read them through yet"
II there is anything that will recon-
cilc a man to married life it is the knowl-
edge that steals over him like dream as
he bursts button off his trousers that
there is one at home who can repair the
damage.
A VERMONT girl was left in charge of
a drug store for few moments and dis
tinguished her brief stewardship by
emptying the contents of a vial Of sui
phuric acid on her head in mistake for
Golden hair fluid" She is not attend
ing parties this winter.-Brookiyn Argus.
A SPRINGFIELD (Mass.) physician tells
of a little boy who came to him and said:
" Doctor, / want some ipecac." what
do you want it fOr?" :" Never mind, Just
give it to me-" "Who sent you here?"
Nobody sent me, came myself" 81
cant let you have it unless you tell me
what you are going to do with it,"
lowed a silver quarter, and she said if l
would give her something that would
bring it up might have it."
A GENTLEMAN (whose name we will
omit from consideration for his relatives)
sent the Tribune yesterday the manu-
script of an address he is TIC deliver next
week, in order to facilitate the work of
the reporter. The speech contains for
ty-two pages. On reaching page 81. the
reporter detailed to copy it found the
following passage: But l must close.
+ No NO go on etc. Then if
you will bear with me a few moments
longer, l shall proceed to invite your at
tention to-" etc.-Chtcago Tribune.
HERE Is an argument: In railway
station gentleman dropped a neat little |
pocket-comb which boy not notably |
clean picked up. Some one mentioned |
the circumstance to the gentleman, and |
he claimed his comb; but the boy said it |
was his and wanted to know how the |
man could prove the contrary. &c By the |
mere fact" was the answer, that claim |
that | should want a comb that had |
ever been in your hair" The proof was |
even to the boy.
YESTERDAY while the gale was at it's
height curious accident occurred on |
Union street. A obby-looking China |
man was walking behind young lady |
dressed in the extreme agony of the |
when a sudden gust of wind |
blew the CelestIal's tail forward and |
wrapped the end of it around the la1y's |
neck. Being frightened she grabbed the |
end of the queue to snatch it away, but |
she pulled in the wrong direction. The |
his property, but he was out of luck, as |
he got hold of one of those long curls |
which are usually seen hanging down
from waterfalls as well as of his queue,
and when he took pull at it the whole |
of the lady's top hair, hat and ALL came |
off. The lady's head had no hair on it |
only little that was gathered into a |
small knot that stood erect like the scalp |
lock of Piute brave. If ever you saw |
a Chinaman astonished at what he had |
done it was that one.-Virginia CITY |
(NeU) Enterprise.