Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1874-05-21
and there is little left Of a man when that

evening when we we're startled by visit
or--to us an unusual occurrence. This
visitor wis man whose dress betOkened
q gentleman. His face would not have
been homeiy but for q dark, sinister ex-
preston of the eyes and an unsteady, sen
sual look about the mouth. He seemed
To have no object In view but merely to
make friendly call. His attentions TO
me were very fattering; he spoke Of hav.
ing seen me perform in school drama
and sing song at the last school exhi.
bition. Despite his attentions ! felt an
underlined rcpuision TO this man. was
sure he had concealed motive FOR this
intrusion. and instinctively shrank from
him as from viper. My presentiments
OF evil became SO strong that II he had
not bowed himself out Of the house
should have, screaming, left IT. When
the door closed upon him, and had
tremblingly locked it, burst into food
Of passionate tears without knowing or
being able to tell why. My mother tried
TO soothe, TO reassure me, but could de-
tect from her manner that she too was not
without distrust Of this man and his I'M
welcome visit.
Soon after this man left my father came
home, much 10 our surprise, II being SO
much earlier than usual for him 10 re-
turn--apparently not under the influence
Of drink There seemed, however. an un.
accountable strangeness In his manner
which quite alarmed us. He came to-
ward us both and, taking as in his arms,
wept like very child. Then, throwing
himself upon a lounge, he sobbed aloud.
We tried 10 soothe, 10 quiet his excited
grief, but II was useless, tor he grew wild
and incoherent In his manner and con.
versation. In fear and consterna-
ton / ran for physician, but
before he came my father was
raving maniac. All mel the horrors of
that night 10 ID fearful 10 recall. During
his dclirium his mind was constantly
agitated by thoughts OF some terrible
wrong he had inflicted upon me. He
seemed TO be fighting some demon who
was dragging me away. Piteously he
would sometimes implore them To leave
me with my mother awhile longer. Then
he would rave and strike as though some
demon was in his way. Toward morning
he became convulsed, and passed away in
struggles which we're fearful TO look upon.
This was the first time had ever seen a
death. This one was 50 horrible and SO
sudden that my brain and nerves seemed
paralyzed. An awe, dread, great
cloud seemed overshadowing my very
life and crushing out OF II all the sun.
light which had been there, small as II had
been. / could not weep, for terror had
dried, nay, scorched up, the waters OF my
heated brain. 1t was not grief, but h0r-
ror, which benumbed all my faculties, for
could not claim any love for my father.
His life had been an outrage upon every
feeling of my nature, and had no re-
mcmbfance Of him when he was other
than brutal drunkard.
MY poor mother was wild with grief,
for she loved my father despite his
faults---despite the wrongs inflicted by
those faults; she looked upon them with
pity and forgiveness, for to her it was in.
sanity.
II was 10 me strange that when she
closed my fathers eyes In their last
sleep she laid away all thoughts of what
he had been for years, and again he re-
turned to her the same noble-hearted,
ardent lover and husband he had been in
the early days Of their courtship and mar
rage. All the rest was forgotten.
were alone with our dead. There
was no humane hand stretched forth to
TO assist In preparing the remains for
the grave. could not without shud-
der touch my fathers stifiening limbs.
MY mother, with sad and streaming
eyes, did 1t all. Night came on--a night
which still shudder TO think Of. Oh,
how terrible In It's shadowy gloom! The
very air seemed full OF ghosts--of demons
hooking our despair. Surrounded by
that gloom my mother and myself sat all
night without fire or light in our desc.
late home, save the gas-lamp In the street,
which threw its Pickering rays upon my
fathers lifeless remains. This unsteady
light dancing over the CHASTITY form took
shape In my excited mind, and felt each
moment that IL would rise from its sleep
OF death. My eyes became riveted upon
the remains OF my father Horror, indie
scribable horror, took entire possession
of me. A whole lifetime Of happiness
can never erase that nights agony. The
lost souls In that world where the worm
dieth not can suffer no more. That night,
too, seemed without end.
My grief.stricKen mother, forgetful of
herself, tried 10 allay my terrors Clasped
In close embrace we sat the night
through, and when morning dawned at
last 1t found us both as pallid as he whom
death had claimed
How should we lay dccently away our
dead was thought which came with the
morning light. The thought Of pauper
burial, associated rs II was with rough
coffin, rude hands and unfeeling hearts,
we could not endure. Yet such burial
seemed inevitable. We had no one to
procure for US even this. For in my ex.
cited state could not be left alone, and
we dared not thus leave my fathers re-
mains.
This accumulation Of suffering was too
much for even my mothers endurance.
Her for:itude forsook her, as well "a her
usual quiet selfpossession. My God I"
she exclaimed, "why am thus afflicted
What have done TO merit such chas
teningy" She sank upon her knees in
an agony Of prayer, in which | joined
We had scarcely risen from our prayers
when some one knocked gently at our
door. Trembling in every limb, opened
1t. A gentleman with kind, benevolent
face asked If this was the residence OF
Mrs. st. Clair, and, being answered In the
affirmative, requested to see her.
My father had in early life Joined the
Order of Masons, and, erring though he
had been, they, still hoping for areforma-