Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-01-01
PHUNNlGRtMS.

ministers OF lhe lnleflOr-lhe cook
and the doctor.
1t is remarked that wood will las
much longer if left for the women folks
to saw and split.
There is one thing which even q
dairyman cannot adulterate, and that is
the milk of human kindness.
MARK Twain" says that, in the higher
latitudes of Feeiee, Its so miserably
cold that man can't tell the truth.
What England made such fuss
about was Boston Harbor--a little Il"
upset in Boston harbor.
1t ii wasn't for the 10cent stamp oc.
casionally found in u paper of tobacco,
considerable portion of the citizens of
Duluth would starve.--Ciacinaatt Conn
nlercidl
John Henry says he has had good
thing on the governor" since he caught
him studying the weather report, under
the impression that he would learn some
thing about the mutton market.
"A phrenologist told man that he
had combativeness very largely developed,
and was of a Quarrelsome disposition
That isn't so,' said the man angrily;
land if you repeat it I'll knock you
down"
A lawyer wishing to impeach II Wit
ness, menacingly asked MIN: Come
now are you not in the habit e" drink
lngY" "Of course am = " As the reply
else should los ago nave pefIshed OF
thirst"
A young man in Scranton, Pa, has
said, Dearest, wilt thou be mine ?" to
81.
him for it. The Lackawanna Valley has
always been famous for its number of
mines.
"A young lady says that gentleman
ought never To feel discouraged when the
"momentous question" is negatived by the
object of his choice, "ior in life, as in
grammar, we always decline before we
conJugate."
A fond husband boosted to friend,
tom, the old woman came near calling
me honey last night" Did shey" what
did she say ?' why she called out:
Come now, old BeeswaX, why don't you
come to support"
The Danbury mans last is: "The
churches were wen filled Sunday. The
shape is an improvement, but the trim
ming NV NbtliN Htilloiti' WI IltN
set little further back on the head than
the summer styles, we think"
An editor, who has been keeping a
record of big beets, announces at last that
"thc beet that beat the beet that beat the
other beet Is now beaten by a beet that
beats all the aeets whether the original
beet, the beet that beat the beet, or the
beet that beat the beet that beat the bee"
Conversation in the Horse car.--First
Young Lady; Father says that we girls
must be economical, for the panic has
struck him. What does your father say =?
Second Young Lady: Oh, he don't say
much; you know pa is so slow that !
don't believe he'll hear the panic is in
town till ii has most gone away,
There is nothing SO well calculated
to upset mans risiblities as to receive
a poke in the stomach at two n. m, nc
companied by the information that THAT
front door is unlocked Fortunate wO-
man is she whose husband has such con
troll over his mirth as to not awake the
rest Of the family while attending to the
matter.-Daabury NotoS.
"A boy two years old, son Of Mrs, Dcs-
PLANES of Randolph street, swallowed a
thimblc, and as soon as his mother asccr-
tanned the fact she called in the neigh
bors and then tainted away. Some of the
wise old women suggested standing the
boy on his head; others talked Of looping
a string and fishing after the thimblc, IT'S
people 20 for a cork in bottle, while
others ran out after small boys and sent
them for doctors Three doctors arrived
simultaneously and after engaging in an
angry discussion over the respective
merits Of allopathy and homeopathy, they
went of without doing anything, and an.
other was sent for to attend the mother
Up to dark last night the boy had not
complained, but in these hard times
there's no knowing how anything will
cnd---UuHdury NetCs.