The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-01-15

GRAVE AND GAY.

A TOPEKA girl has been left a quarter
of a million dollars by her uncle, and
now all through trains stop at Topeka.
A GEoRaIA editor was bitten by a
dog, ''being evidently mistaken for a
bone"
An embryo poet, who is certainly
close observer of human nature, re-
marks "Time marches on with the
slow, measured tread OF a man working
by the day"
A YOUNG lady at Harper's Ferry tried
to commit suicide the other day because
she has had wen on her neck, and
hadn't money enOught to buy an Eliza
bethan hedge fence to hide it.
TIE Memphis Avalanche says that the
recent sherif's sale of the New Orleans
Picayune was brought about by the fact
that It had $50 stockholders, all of whose
axes it was impossible for the paper to
grind successfully.
An Illinois schoolgirl was whipped
until she tainted away because she said
"ehaw instead of "ohew." The
teacher wasn't so particular about his
grammar when he went mp the road
with about 90 men chasing him.
You've married couples viii be extrav-
aoant even IA Vermont. At Rrattle-
boro. lately, newly married man
emptied twelve gallons of best apple
brandy into the river, just because his
wife wanted TO see him do il.
A COUPLE of negroes have been en-
gagged for two years in digging tor
large quautity of gold which they inag-
inc to have been hidden in barren hill
side near Rockingham, Va, long time
ago. -. >,
If THIS jury convicts my client,
said a Missouri lawyer, rolling up his
sleeves and displaying his Ponderous
fists, 81 shall feel compelled to meet
each one and hammer justice into his
soul through his head" Verdict Of
not guilty.
TIE Detroit Free Press says: st.
Louis is talking of widening her prin-
cipal streets at heavy COST II was
always a wonder TO us how three st
Lonis women could put their feet down
in any one street at once.
A WOMAN at Fort Laramie has sued a
paper for saying that she has murdered
three husbands, when the fact Is she
hasn't murdered but two, the third one
gotting away with a broken rib. There
is nothing like being accurate when
dealing with such grave matters.
"When 1 think of the bummers that
left Boston n 1s49 to find their fortunes
in California, and then hear Bret Hsrte,
call EN- Argonauts," said gentleman
| after the lecture, 81 must award 70 Bret
the credit of refining Whatever he touch
es."
A COMMON fellow in California, who
was made a target for revolver practice,
has been kept in Jail as a witness for
two months past, while the gentleman
who shot him has been out on bail.
The obvious moral is that it is better
and more Lawful to shoot a Californian
than to he shot at by him.
THE Omo.--
am the roaring o-hi-oi
For floating barge or steamer
Prom Pittsburg down 10 Ca-i-ro,
/ I'm jest an old riI-screamer.
And as each craft my bosom Plovu
Through aiiher chute. you may smell
Blue bazes in each pilot-houss.
Since was damned BY Ms4tEeh.
-CoHrieF-Jouraot
THE following is going the rounds
A missionary among the freedmen in
Tennessee, after relating TO some little
colored children the story Of Annaniaa
and Sapphira, asked them Why God
does not strike everybody dead that
tells lie, when one of the least in the
room answered: 'sBecause there
wouidn't be anybody left. 4"
A NEwsPAPER in southern California
advises greater cultivation of the hg
tree because the fruit is good for hog
feed. An so5e Of hgs viii fatten moro
hogs than an acre of corn. All that is
necessary is to stick fig cutting in the
ground, and in three or Eve months the
plant viii bear fruit-ihree crops a
year-and in three years the tree at
tains the size of twelve year old ap-
pie tree.
HER BEAUTIFUL EYE
| Il 81 IN depth, IN color, or sfzs,
The charm which nee "a thoss lovely eyes,
| Blue 81 the summer sky
4 babes chda, woman in one.
Ny heart is drank up. e. the dss - the auni
by the glance of her oeauiiful eTe.
softly, timiaiy sisGoins up.
! Unoiosing its I'd lits Fialet-eup-
Looks Eonarorsly sSees asd ahyi
Gazing into s. DEPTHS. know
The charm Wn!ch sets my heart IN a glow
-Vsye EgsrioH.
ILLrxoIs farmers want a law reform
which shall simplify the practice Of
courts and do away with useless vsrbi-
age. tochnicalities and special plead
ings and also 10 provide for establish
ing courts OF consultation, and to re-
auire county and circait iadgas 10 set
apart portion Of each terra for the ad-
Indication OF cases which may be pre-
sented by the agreement Of both par
ties, TO be settled by the judges upon
their merits, and no appeal 10 be al
lowed.
TEE late Doctor Machdam used 70 tell
Of tipsy scotchman making his way
home on a bright Sunday morning,
when the good folks were vending their
way 10 the kirk. A little dog pulled the
ribbon from the hand Of lady who
was leading &c, and rs IL ran away from
her she appealed 20 The hrst passeE-by,
asking him to whistle for her poodle.
'sWoman." he retorted with The soiem-
nifty Of visage which only drunken
scotchman can assume Woman, this
is not day for whistlin'. ."-EE.
A RETROSPECT.
This is my yousa,--iis hopes and srssnas.
HoE strEnRs and sssGesy Il ueeHzs
Afies thsse Iaany yaarsi
Turning sss pages idly, 80
isok silb Ezsiios upSn tks zoe.
Upon tho jos VIII tesEu t-AldrieA.
TIE Wiertz museum, near Brussels
Belgium, contains a picture Of EaPo
leon Bonaparte, representing him il
Hades. which is thus described "H.
is surrounded BY those whose lives h'