The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-04-10
HUMOROUS.
"A little nonsense now and then
Is reiished by the wisest men"

A noiseless hinge for saloon back
doors have been invented.
A bad habit to get into-A coat
that is not paid for.
The climate of Nevada is highly
favorable for consumptives, unless
they go to horse stealing, when it's
peculiarly unhealthy.
Seek not for your sweetheart at
a large and-N cnionable party; how
are you to find diamond in a field
covered with sparkling dew drops.
A new-berne man fell of a pony
and broke his collar. Was it paper.
Josh Billings says: Don't toll be-
fore breakfast. Ifit is necessary to
toll before breakfast, eat your break
fast first.
The first thing a promising youth
said to a dog presenting his nose II
his heels was: "Go away! Dos as
think I'm q bone?"
For pure grit and long continued
patience you ought to go to Toledo.
A young lady in that town has sent
I16 pieces of poetry to a newspaper.
and though all have been rejected,
she is struggling with another.
A negro boy in New York, six
years of age, has a picture primer to
teach him his letters. On Of the
pictures is that of q bull chasing q
boy, while the little Ethiop watches
from day to day, gleefully exelaim.
ing, ''He hain,t eotched i'm yit."
The Danlzdry philosopher observes
that the placidity of expression worn
by a man who is ''next" in a full bar
Der shop, cannot be counterfeiteds
A very tOuehy husband told his
wife they could not agree, and must
divide the house. "VerY well, said
she, @you can take the outside. "
Don't attempt to paddle your own
canoe" unless you are a good swim
mer. The world is slow to render
assistance to q man in deep Hster.
Grace Greenwood, in letter from
Colorado, describes a Typical 'ipoor
white family Of Missouri, the
daughters of which were accustomed
to go barefoot until the soles of their
feet became as hard as horn; and
then tells this story: Zone of these
young ladies, on coming home one
day after long tramp in the rain
after the COWS, was standing on the
hearth drying her clothes, when her
old mother draWied out; aSal,
observation-disclosures
foot. The girl slightly turned
her head, and dTawled back aWhich
-fOot-mammyr
"Pathrick, dear, come in and 90 to
bed jist," said the wife of q jolly son
of Erin, who had just returned from
the fair in a decidedly "how-come-
yoa-so' state. "You must be dhread-
full tired wid yer long walk" ear
rah! GIT away wild yer nonsense
said Pat. at wasn't the length Ov
the way that fatagEed me. Twas
the breadth ov ii"
The old blue laws Of Connecticut
were somewhat discouraging TO
young men IS enterprising connu-
bal aspirations. For instance: aNo,
man can court 4 maid in person or
by letter without first obtaining con
sent of her parents; f5 penalty for
the first offense, fl0 for the second
and for the third, imprisonment Giu-
ring the pleasure of the court"
A little four-year-old, in Richmond,
very fond of a certain dish, when
asked by his mother if he wobld
Hke'to be an angel with wings, and
fly about heaven with his little broth
er. replied after 2 pause; ''No, ma
I'd heap rather be a hawk, and live
on chicken"
Some one has been looking over
the records Of the Legislature Of
West Virginia and finds that at its
last session it passed a law ito pre-
vent the owners Of hogs from run
ming at large"
A sewing circle was quickly brok-
en- up at Gardner, Me-, the other
day by the innocent remark of a Ia
dy present: Il always had a great
desire to know how a case Of small
pox looked, so l called on a sick lady
this afternoon just before coming 10
the circle"
-<-~.,- -
Apple Float-rO one quart ofslN
pies, partially steWed and well nfas'
ed, put the whites of three. egqs ~
beaten: and four heaping tablespoon-
fuis OF Leaf sugar; beat them toQath-
er for fifteen minutes, and sal with :