The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1874-01-17
GENERAL ITEMS.

The Danbury News man says: Yes |
terday was colder than an oil-cloth.
The thirteenth anniversary of the
celebration of Hawaiian Independence was
celebrated on the island November 2S.
"A family Of five persons in Colorado |
have all committed suicide within the past |
year, and all because of disputed fortune. |
Our housekeeper is certainly most
to give an eye to young domestic who
has lately joined the establishment.
A critic was ANONYMOUSLY expelled
from The Boston theatre for Kissing dan
seuse who was attired in stars and stripes,
on the ground that it was IAN insult to the
flag"
f, =" What's the matter there, Alice
Don't your shoes fit ?' "No, papa, they
don't fit me at ALL" replied the little one
"why, they don't even squeak when go
out to walk"
"A dry-witted soldier of the Tenth
Vermont, during the war, was heard to
pray once, when the bullets were falling in
showers, as follows: ooh, Lord, make
me as thin as knife"
An Irishman has defined nothing to be
"a footless stocking without legs" A
description by another Emeralder is better.
"What is nothing ?' he was asked.
"Shut your eyes and you will see it."
said Pat.
"A lady made complaint to Frederick
the Great, King Of Prussia: ''Your Ma
jesty," said she, my husband treats me
badly" THAT'S none of my business"
said the king. "But he speaks ilof you,"
said the lady. "That," said he, sis none
of your business"
| "A New York colored man asked 81 900
| damages from II physician who had en-
| ployed him to whitewash building in
fected with the smallpox. The court de-
cided that tie pits made his face look rather
better than otherwise, and that the disease
had't hurt him much, and dismissed the
case.
| Punch has hit at the domestic SER
vice question in the following squib !:
Lady's maid-'sPlease ma'am, wish to
resign" Ledy-"Why, Parker? You
came here only yesterday" Lady's maid
-"I've been looking over your drawers.
ma am, and find your things are not up to
the mark, and wouldn't do me credit"
In the line of singular condolences,
nothing more remarkable has occurred of
late than that just about tho time the
steamer Virginius had fairly settled to the
bottom of the sea, the coal.barge sunk
under the stern of the Spanish frigate
Arapiles begins, by virtue of falls and
tackle and other gearing, to rise from the
deeps. Is this new illustration of the
law of compensation?
| In the Territorial legislature of New
Mexico there are only seven Americans,
and the committees on Indian affairs are
composed entirely of Mexicans. The
speeches are made in Spanish, and all pro-
ceedipgs in both houses are conducted
through the medium of that language.
The bills are drawn up in English and
translated into Spanish. The clerks of the
legislature act as interpreters.
| "A gentleman built wing to his house,
consisting of cellar, library on the
ground floor, and bedroom above. He
asked the opinion OF friend about it, who
replied: "My dear fellow, am sorry to
see you have lost your senses.' "How ?''
exclaimed the other. "Why, a bon vivant
and literary man as you are to read over
your wine and to sleep over your books"
Miss Hannah F. Gould once wrote
this as an epitaph of Caleb Cushing:
Lie aside, all We dead
For in the next bed
Reposes the body of Cushing
Who wendell his way
Through the world, as they say,
And perhaps, now he's dead
& He'll be pushing
Mr.. Gushing retorted as follows:
Here lies one whose wit, .
| Without wounding, could HIT
Il May the turf lie lightly above her;
She has sent every beau
To the regions below,
II And gone down herself for lover