davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
NUMBER %.

hand Down, and is very much surprised
to see it appear opposite his knees. He
had made mistake. He tries again:
again he feels the entrance and glides
down it only to appear again as before
This makes him open his eyes and
straighten his face. He feels of the out
side of the pocket, pinches it curiously,
lifts it up, shakes it, and after peering
closely about the roots of it he says By
Gracious!" and commences again. He
does it calmly this time, because hurrying
only makes matters worse. He holds up
breadth after breadth, goes over them
carefully, gets his hand first into lining,
then into the air again (where it always
surprises him when it appears), and finally
into pocket, and is about to cry out
with triumph, when he discovers that it is
the pocket to another dress. He is mad
now; the closet air almost stiles him; he
is 50 nervous he can hardly contain him
self, and the pocket looks at him so ex-
asperatingly that he cannot help but
"plug" it with his clenched fist, and i'm
mediately does it. Being somewhat re-
lieved by this performance he has
chance to look about him, and sees that
he has put his foot through band-box
and into the crown of his wife's bonnet;
has broken the brim to his Panama hat
which was hanging in the same closet,
and torn about yard Of bugle trimming
from a new cloak. As all this trouble is
due directly to his wite's infatuation in
hanging up her dresses inside out, he i'm
mediately starts after her, and, ,impetuously
urging her to the closet, excitedly and
almost profanely intimates his doubts of
there being pocket in the dress, any
way. The cause of the unhappy disaster
quietly inserts her hand inside the robe.
and directly brings it forth with the
sought-for article in its clasp. He doesn't
know why, but this makes him madden
than anything else.-Danbugy Neps.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
Situations Wanted.

THE Galena Gazette gives the following
advice to young men in reference to leav-
ing the country for the city:
One can scarcely turn to any newspaper
of any of the large cities without at once
lighting upon advertisements of "situa-
atlons wanted" In the country news
papers such an advertisement is rarely
seen. In the Chicago Tribune, for in
stance, how frequently do we see adver-
tisements like this: "Situation wanted bv
young man able and willing to work at
anything honest and that will keep him
from want"
We never read these advertisements
without feeling Of sadness. In each we
seem to hear cry of distress, an appeal
to society to save some one from destitu-
ton, from want, perhaps from beggary,
possibly from crime. From events and
circumstances of this nature it is not dit.
ficult to derive the inference that, in pro-
portion to the country, our cities are over
populated. And yet the tide is constantly
setting in from the country to the cities.
Young men are no sooner emancipated
from parental control than they rush into
the cities with the hope of there finding
at once employment that will be light and
lucrative, at which fortunes can be speed
lly made without toll.
The common mistake seems to have no
effect in curing itself. 1t is constantly re-
peated by other victims actuated by like
hopes and deluded by similar expecta-
tions. Meanwhile, what is the conse-
quence? The population Of the country
is actually diminishing. while the popu-
lation of the cities, already overcrowded,
is rapidly increasing. And hence it is
that we find in all city papers these stir
ring advertisements headed "Situation
wanted" while nothing of the kind ap-
pears in the country papers.
There is to our young men a lesson in
this. In the country you are needed in
the city you are not wanted. The land is
full of employment, and living and wages
are good. The cities do not invite you to
come; the country does. Why then do
our young men cling to the cities? 1t is
no unfrequent occurrence to find men,
both able and willing to work, wandering
in want through the streets Of our cities,
with pauperism at hand and beggary be-
fore them, when they know that days
travel would take them to where employ
ment is awaiting them, with all the abun-
dance that farm and garden can afford.
And still they cling to the bustling
sueeI, unulng loou anu steep IN damp and
nolsome quarters, when they might
have both in places Of health and comfort.
The facts are ominous of evil They pro-
claim to the young men Of the country
who have their fortunes and livelihood
to make, to shun the cities and betake
themselves to the country, where employ
ment never fails, where advertisements
for situations are unnecessary, and where
comfort and contentment are the equiva-
lent of labor.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
Alfred and AlexandrOWna.
A LONDON correspondent writes:

A LONDON correspondent writes:
"Tke Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh
have bee1 endowed with an income some
thing like 100000 year. They are to
have at least two magnificent residences
in England-one, Clarence House, in
town, and another, not believe fully de-
cided on yet, in the country. Besides,
they will have two establishments at St.
Petersburg, when they choose to visit that
frlgid native cline of the Duchess Marie.
This is leaving out of account the freedom
they will be able to make of Windsor and
Buckingham Palace, and Osborne and
Balmoral and Marlborough House and
Sandringham, the residences of Alfred's
royal mother and brother. And what,
then, will be their life? One or two
ladies of noble birth will be attached to
them as ladies and gentlemen in waiting,
equerries and gh social attendants.
They will have stables, with an ample
choice of equine flesh for every magma
bic purpose Of pleasure. Their chariots,
coupes, dog carts, cabriolets, pony car
riages will enable then to enjoy every
variety Of comfortable and snowy driv-
ings. They may 60 where they list, for
the greatest mobiles will be only too glad to
receive them chez e,r, and the royal boxes
at theatres and opera and the best palaces
on the grand stand of the turf will be at
their very good service. If they want to
be talked about and cheered, they have
only to take turn in Rotten Row of
morning, or go to the infinite variety of
public occasions which are always
turning up, and where royalty is always
in lively demand, distribute prizes and
open hospitals, preside at charitable
meetings and make their appearance in
pauper fairs. But if they prefer quiet
luxury they may retire and remain in their
cosily-elegant town or country nests, with
every amusement which the art Of man
has devised within their reach, and with
full power to change the conditions of
their pleasures as they will.''
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
Difficult to Find.

The most difficult thing to reach is a
wonan's pocket. This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up in closet,
and the man is IN hurry. We think we
are safe in saying that he always is in a
hurry on such an occasion The owner
of the dress is in the sitting room serenely
engrossed in book. Having told him
that the article which he is in quest of is
in her dress pocket in the closet she has
discharged her whole duty in the matter,
and can afford to feel serene. He goes at
the task with dim consciousness that he
has been there before, but says nothing.
On opening the closet door and finding
himself confronted with number Of
dresses, all turned inside out, and pre-
senting most formidable front, he has.
tens back to ask (which dress ?" and be-
ing told the brown one, and also asked il
she has so many dresses that there need be
any great effort to find the right one, he
returns to the closet with alacrity, and
soon has his hands on the brown dress.
1t is inside out like the rest-a fact he
does not notice, however, until he has
made several Intellectual attempts to get
his hand into it. Then he turns it around
very carefully and passes over the pocket
several times without being aware of it.
A nervous moving of his hands and an
appearance of perspiration on his fore.
head are perceptible. He now dives one
hand in at the back, and, feeling around
finds place and proceeds to explore it.
when he discovers that he is following up
thei inside Of a lining. The nervousness
increases, also the persplration. He
twitches the dress on the hook, and sud
denly the pocket, white, plump and ex
asperating, comes to rev. Then he sight
the relief he feels, and is mentally crate
full he did not allow himself to use any
offensive expressions. 1t is all right now
There is the pocket in plain view-not th'
inside, but the outside-and all he has t.
do is to put his hand right around in tht
inside and take out the article. Tha
is all. He can't help but smile to thinl
how near he was to getting mad
Then he puts his hand arount
to the other side. He does no
feel the opening. He pushes little fur
| ther-now he has got it-he shoves tn
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
VOLUME II.
$eltfted e#isrella'g.
BROWN HANDS.
BY MRS. HATTIE F. BELL.

BY MRS. HATTIE F. BELL.
Full many page has been written,
And the gifted have sung, in the praise
or lily-white hands and fingers,
In a score OF poctical ways;
This IL all very we'll for a lady
Who lives among diamonds and silk,
But sometimes in life a farmers wife
Is obliged to do housework and milk.
And wOman's best mission thro'out our dear land
Is fulfilled i'll the strength OF the little brown hand
When the roses are blushing the sweetest,
And the vines climb up TO the caves
When the robins are rocking their brides
To sleep 'mong the maple leaves:
The sunshine smiles down cross the threshold,
When the labor OF love seems but rest,
Whether rocking the household brides
Or keeping the dear home-nest-
Oh: pity you all who can't understand
The wealth and the worth OF q little brown hand
II were man with a fortune,
a million laid by on the shelf
II were youthful wasn't, IN truth,
II | wasn't woman myself
know what I'd do in a minute
white fingers have often mslcd),
I'd seek after those whose rich tinting shows
Acquaintance with puddngs and bread:
I'd use all the elOquence words could command,
And be proud might win little brown hand.
-RuraI New Yorker.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
The Gorilla.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.
The gorilla il citizen of Western At
ricka
They are about five foot in hight, and
hav got Wuss temper than fish
woman.
I never saw but one gorilla. and he waz
not filled with lite, but waz stuff with
straw.
l don't never want to see another; it
weakens mi respekt for mi ansesstors to
look at them.
They are four-legged quadruped, and
kan walk horizontal or perpendicular
just az they pleaze.
When they do walk uprite, they are the
worst looking relashuns we hav.
They liv alone, and don't congregate
like other brutes, and are more terrible in
a ruff and tumble fite than emmy animal
that livs.
hav allwuss wondered whi sum one
didn't import one into this kuntry and
match him for thousand dollars to fite
in a ring.
think one gorilla would take all the
consait out ov our shoulder-hitters.
If f1te ov this kind ever duz take place,
I shall attend it, mulch az I am oppozed
to ring battles, and shall bet mi currency
on the gorilla.
May the best man win.
The gorilla haz a good appetight and a
square digestion, and will eat ennything
he can git chance at, from niger to
an anakondy.
1heze festiv children ov Africk's sunny
land are kivered all over with coarse blak
hair and rezemble humanity in menny re-
spekts, but taken az whole they are the
most revolving wretches to look at, or try
to luv, that haz ever appeared on the
stage ov ackshun thus far.
The gorilla il no doubt good for sum-
thing, but what that IL l kant tell, nor
don't want to know.
They are dreadful strong kritters, and
kan carry an elephant off on their baks,
or the elephant carry them off forgit
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
dropped the saucer and fell to the floor,
dying in couple of hours, from apoplexy.

uylng IN couple OF hours, from apOpleXy.
AN INSTANCE of rare honesty, and show
ing how a dog may desire to pay his
board bill, recently occurred in Fitchburg,
Mass. A lady saw dog frequently abou
her house picking up odd bits which had
been thrown out, and one day she called
him in and fed him. The next day he
came back, and as she opened the door
he walked in and laid an egg on the floor,
when he was again fed. The following
day he brought his egg to pay for his din:
ner, and on the fourth day he brought the
old hen herself, who, it seemed, had failed
to furnish the required egg
A NEAT little swindling game of the
bogus detective order has lately come to
grief In New York. One Edward Cox
by some means discovered that John E..
Williams, clerk in a drug store, had
81, 19s in bank. Ascertaining that Will
iams' salary was only $14 per week, he
jumped at the conclusion that Williams
was robbing his employer. Cox sought
and obtained an interview with Williams
employer. AS Cox was not willing to
tell the cause Of his suspicion, the inter-
view terminated without any decided re-
suit. It was, however, admitted that
there were doubts as to Williams honesty.
Thus fortified, Cox saw Williams, and af-
ter telling him that he was a private de-
tective, and that he knew of Williams
knocking down $40 per day, offered to
compromise the matter and rid Williams
of the suspicion on payment Of 5000.
This Williams agreed to, and arranged to
meet Cox next day and pay him. Mr..
Williams then notified the police. The
next day Williams met Cox and handed
him package of $50 in 81 bills, care
fully marked. As soon as Cox had taken
the money he was arrested. At his trial
at the General Sessions it transpired that
he had lately been discharged from the
State Prison. He was sentenced to one
year in the Penitentiary for confidence
operating and black-mailing
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

The pneumatic tube in London ex-
tends from Euston square to the Post
Office, a distance of 4, ,738 yards. The ma
chinery for operating the line is at Hol-
born, which is about one-third of the
distance from the Postoffice to Euston.
The tube is five feet wide and four feet
six inches high. The wagons are ten feet
long, and constructed to fit the tube
closely by means of an india-rubber
fiange, and so form sort of piston, upon
which the air may act to the greatest ad-
vantage. The machinery consists Of an
engine having two wenty-four-inch cy]in-
ders, with twenty inches stroke. The fan
is twenty two feet six inches in diameter,
and makes two revolutions for each stroke
of the engine. The trains are drawn from
the extremities of the line by exhaustion,
and prop elled thereto by compression.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

The following patent has been recent
ly granted for hardening steel: The OBJ
ject is heated to red heat by any Of the
ordinary methods for uniform heating. 1t
is then chilled by the action of a strong
blast of air or gas By suitable variations
in the strength of the blast and the tenn
perature of the air any required degree of
hardness may be attained. After this the
substance is tempered as is desired.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

"a Co1Qu1rr (Ga.) minister is the father
of thirty-two children" How neatly could
he preach a sermon from that tolive-branch
text, with illustrations in all the front
pews!
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

The largest tree in Brookline, N. H.,
has just been cut and sawed. It was q
pine, 130 years old. The first log, 13 feet
long, made 800 feet Of inch boards; the
whole tree, 1917 feet.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

in single draught of a seine in the Della
ware River, above Easton, Pa.
The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18

The total Indebtedness of Cleveland
is 81, 272,000, and her tax rate $2.40.
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25

We suggest that the Senatorial AMI
Representative Districts ia the western
part Of the State hold their nominal
rng conventions at an early date, cer-
Etaihly hef,re the State Convention. If
Ne haze any success or influence 10 the
State Convention We mus, be prepared
TOR II, and there is 10 other oppor,u-
nit ia 50 large districts as ours, than
to cone to some understanding before
We find ourselves at the capital listen
ing 20 the plans Of the old wire work
ers. What We want is a new deal.
A Republican nomination is ~equiva>
lent TO an election, hence the import
ance Of looking well TO the convention.
We have good men 10 the party who
have ability and integrity who are not
connected and working in the interests
Of the old political rings. We have
men who have not had political pat
ronage bestowed upon their heads 10
the way Of land Office appointments,
&C., more Of account of their willing
hess - repay in divers ways than with
a view to their honesty aud integrity.
Two years ago u western delegates
at the State Convention surprised the
manipulators and showed where the
balance Of power came from. A start
was made in the right direction, now
let Us follow it up. Let US have our
district conventions carly and under
stand each other. We need aud mu (
have a united effort if We succeed in
securing our rights. Let US sendfmen
to our conventions that understand
how to meet the political ring fathers
in a way that viii against them. We
must not fight against each other, and
the only way to avoid this is to organ-
ze-F ormont Bulletin.
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25
FROM BaTiN.

EDITOR CHIEF Our new school
house is finished. and is the champion
school house of the county. Ii was
built by X. L. Tinker and j. j. Miller.
1t is an old true saying-"Let thy
work praise thee" and surely the work
on that house is q standing praise to
the builders.
Our harvesting is nearly done and
the farmers are very well satisfied, for
there will be a good average yield.
Mr.. Blunt is about starting a brick
yard. lie has everything ready to
commence the business as soon as he
gets through stacking his grain. We
have about all the conveniences here
that can be had in sother parts Of the
county, except that We need a store.
We receive mail here every day in the
week except Friday and Sunday.
We have a good blacksmith shop
here belonging TO j. Ii. lIummel. Ike
is always ready to play q tune on the
anvil for any one, and warrants his
work.
We are sorry to learn that A. G.
Granger met with the loss Of u of
htl horses. and that Mr.. Garlock lost
one of his cattle, which leaves them
both minus q team. SNIDER
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25

SHALL we have an early or late con-
sention, is a question that is now be-
ing discussed by the Republican press
OF file State, with the usual diversity
of opinion. Of course. this as every
thing else, has more than one side,
sume advocating an early, and Others
(. lat. assewblage. Our humble opin-
ion j. that the matter should not be
put off too long that the convention
should be called the first week in Sep
.ember. At the Outside. Several States
have already put tickets in the field,
aud others will follow Ia the course of
two or three weeks. Time should be
gwen the people to know the relative
ncriIs VI the candidates. but it is now
the busiest season Of the year, and but
mtie attention will be paid to political
affairs until Our farmers have finished
harvesting and hay ing. The farmers
ae deeply interested in securing the
nomination Of good and true men.
After harvest they can and will attend
the caucus aud conventions, county
and Stat.
We hope and expect to See more
farmers 10 the coming State and Dis
trict conventions. than have ever be-
fore been In such places. The uni
vrrsal demand is hat good me- be
nominated. and 10 secare this every
voter should attend the caucus, AMI
take part in selecting such men for
delegates as are true and trusty.
Therefore, in order to secure this re-
sult, let the convention be postponed
until about the first week in Septem-
her. as said before. This will give
from FIVE TO six weeks, time enough
TO work up a vigorous, decisive cam
piign, and q successful one. The
probable candidates are men generally
known, and the people can quickly
Judge Of their merits. by saying that
the candidates are known, We DO not
mean to convey an idea tina. we or III
one else knOUs who will be the sue
c.ssful candidates, but simply that the
State Convention will not be liable t.
nHmiuate men who have not already
acquired a general reputation through
On, the State. For this, if no other
I-s-on, there Is no occasion to keep a
candidate before the people for any
,.sv long term.
The time above mentioned, in our
view. should be selected for the hold
c. -- next Republican State con
yention.
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25

The route FROM Red Cloud to Uarv-
ard should be changed somewhat. A.
present it doubles on the Juniata route
from Batin 20 Red Cloud. II changed
so as TO run from Negunda direct 70
Red Cloud, it would pass through a
section of country where another Office
is needed and which could be supplied.
y daily mail from Juuiata wsuld rem
Per the Harvard mai! of 10 use to the
Batin office, aud save labor Of chang
ing mails.
II the people Of Willow Creek will
get up their petitions and send them
in We will endeavor to procure such a
change as will give them an office, or
secure service if there is already an Of
fee established.
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25
Fort 81 the u 2.

a government surveying party n
rived in this city last Tuesday evening
torrthe purpose IF surveying the lcc1.
ton for q fort on the North Lcur.
They went to the United States land
Office here to get variations, and start
ed out on their mission Wednesday
morning. They will survey the two
sections recently ordered withheld BY
the commissioner Of the general land
Office. and if they are not satisfactory,
a location will be selected ten mile.
father West The Burlington and Mis-
souri, River railroad company in Ne
braska, having offered to donate one
section OF land for said Fort. Ii is a
four company post. and will be tie
means of greatly augmeuting the set
Element of the fertile region Of the
upper Lour country.
The Red Cloud chief., 1874-07-25
v%ention.

SoME Gca.s have been expressed
that the grasshopper pest will sooner
q r later render the West totally unfit
fnr cultivation and the abode ofman. Ii
l. true that certain portions of Ne
tra>ka, Iowa and Dakotah, are liable
10 he visited by these pests, which
IN IN countless thousands. but We
dens tina, this liability is SO great as
70 overcome the advantages and re-
sources "f the country.
Every PORTION IF our country and
the Whole face of the earth. for that
maticr. L. liable. from local causes,
t, fail at times in producing what may
b. allied a r~emuncrative crop Of the
s,.pi"s fitted for its peculiar soil nr
cliuatc. In a country where the set
Elements are scattered. the people
rour, and struggling for very existence.
these accidents 10 the crops are severe
~ felt. 4 failure from any cause in a
nsw country Is heraldcd forth, and
yuhli>hed through the length and
breadth of the land. But these things
are continually happening 10 the old
snd thickly settird sections o; The
country. without attracting special no
iicc. Last spring in Ohio. We were
told 10y certain farmers that the gruss-
h1Ppers had destroyed their previous
crops. aud that the long spell of dry
w. a,her' had usni up what the grass
horpers had left; anl ia almost the
same breath these same individuals
would urge thrt Nebraska wasn't ht
for n white nan TO live Ia owing to the
drouth and erasshoppcrs. The truth
Is. ibefs Is less Inability n a failure of
crops from local cause, in Nebraska
>4an in any other portion of the entire
.ern country. if not in the United
es, taken altogether.