The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1874-09-05
Correspondence az the III chnt0pd uispatch.
81 N Vsaft 10 HuafaSS nsarss1xs.

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sosAGEs, Al sTas sPRfNas sfATlsTrcs or
I CURES THE SPECIAL COMMISSIONER :. AXES
TRACKS y AND TURNS .pp AT tBUHKEviLnR.
BUFFALO STRINGS, September a.
This summer there has been "a heap OK
talk about Buffalo Springs and the discovery
Ithereat Of the yeritable |. salts of lfshia 10
lone Of the springs. IL amt necessary for
me to explain what salts OF lythia means,
since In these days OF public schools every.
l.body Knows everything. All have to say
I'reiers to myself as special commissioner Of
] the Dispatch, and the results OF my commas
sion. wish to be understood ut starting:
i Be it known that amt one of your ordina-
Iry 'pen-scratchers--far different. There taint
1 no modester man 10 Richmond except DR..
Bsgby than am, but due seif-respect impo-
SEQ on me the duty of stating that when the
Dispatch decided to appoint q special COM
missioner the choice OF the cabinet council
OF editors fell on me. 81 81 - Z
Behold me, then, ut the Danville depot,
with my valise duly ticketed rs the ]. Hon.
X. Y. a., Special Commissioner" Avulgar
81 uss ''at the depot, ask me !" ef ] Worn't
agoing to AK the kunnel for q pars y; butt
eXtinguished him with. one Of my blank
;stares. 1t would not do for.an SO. to be
accepting fayors OF railroads, so 1 paid my
money and took my choice OF cars.
L Ialighted at Burkeviie and looked around,
| The place is advertised as {" pleasant coun-
| try retreat; and there can be no doubt as
to the g country, ;" and no difficulty in finding
a "retreat.". Burkeville is remarkable for
sasssfras oil, and for our peregrinating friend,
i Alpheus Boiling, the most ubiquitous jour.
nalist in the State. I gave deep sigh as 4
Ideparted. a.l 49,; KS. 49,
!, At KeSsville, SDyder came round and told
me all about the projected line through
Chase City to Clarksyfile. Captain Snyder
Is the father Of the Roanoke Valley railroad,
lfhaying been conductor "before the war"
on train which actually did run on That
portion Of the Keysylle extension which
was then graded. The Captan said he
should almost feel, like Old Simeon, ready
to depart in peace If he could ever see the
line opened to GAINESVILLE. I had some
4 extra, cambrics with me so we mingled our
tears and then got rid Of our griefs by blow
ling few clouds. hope General j. r.
Anderson will "hurry up" things so that
Old Snyder and myself wont ever need to
run water.Works again. For the privilege
of travelling over the Roanoke Valley line
would even pledge myself not to shoot
any fellow who called me penny. a-liaer.
ssAt last" as the cobbler remarked, we
reached Scottsburg, a place where the only
sign of civilization is decidedly unpreten-
tious bar-room. However, sternly devoted to
lithia water, I forswore allegiance to Bour-
bonism and mounted the hack, and was
"toted" over to the springs in two hours
and forty minutes. We had lot of passen-
gers. Our African jehu remarked, "Dat's
all right, Boss-Kunnei Paxsou alters mighty
pleased when I packs on de folks" Guess
that old darby didn't know his own wick
edness. From this man and brother
! learnt that ode session had been mighty
busy "a hint to the General Assembly.
i got to the springs in cog, having hidden
the label on my valise, but after registering
was gratihed to hear some one ask the
clerk if was sthe celebrated Mr.. 4.
! 7. T." MY first care was to tind out how
your g1lar correspondent H. w. b.
was conducting himself, and after three
mint juieps in the bar I made cautious in.
quiries. Incredible as it may seem found
out that your "prvileged cbaracter" hadn't
touched q drop of liquor since he arrived.
He is heavy on the water, but avoids every
other beverage. l cannot suppose that you
will retain a correspondent who never ac-
cepts drinks, and who in every respect
keeps clear Of those little peculiarities un-
necessary to name but are essentially jour
nalistic. 1t is not needful to say more
\ than that the man who is ignorant OF the
game of poker is utterly unfit to be the
I representative Of great newspaper.
Il / commenced my Investigations into the
bona tides of the Springs by picking out the
latest man among the company. "My
friend" said /, "what is your fighting
weight, and how many pounds have you
gained since you came here!" "4oung
man." said he, 81 am q respectable married
man, doing business in ter-backer and a
| deakin of the church, and hope the Lord'll
| forgive you. Young man, go away J" Aud
I went away.
Next / tried the stoutest lady, politely
/ asking if the Spring water made her ENJOY
her '.WittIes." She said, "Sir, am lone
| wilder, and unless you mean business l
reckon you hadn't better address me.''
| Then 1 withdrew, for / have number of
| the female "sect" at home who breads my
assocatins with widows of all sizes.
| Nothing a6ashed, went up to the sllm.
NEST youth | could find. He was great
| dancer, and most devoted to the ladies.
| Said /, ''My gay troubadour, is it llthla that
! makes your Suits stand so much double
shuttle 70 viii it be believed that that young
| imp of evil simply replied, 81 reckon you
baye been to Spring 1a'-that being the
name of the bar-room among its patrons
Still indicated, / sought young lady OF
| less than forty summers, and tried 10 nna
out how she. had progressed on Springs req,
men. She didn't appear to admire me, ana
remarked also that in North Carolina they
were "always afraid Of Richmond men,
Hoping to gain point, I swore belonged
| to Petersburg, when she gracefully retorted,
them's wuss." Then gave it up.
It was now manifest to me that ought 10
| 60 to the .fountain-head for information, and
so I addressed Colonel T. W. j. Baptist, the
great spring discoverer. Baptist has
brother in holy orders, and hence he does
! little preaching himself. If you want TO
| know all about it." said he, "listen. There
are three springs:
| Ono. 1-Original sulphur.
"No. 2-Lithia.
| "No. 3-Iron.
| "The rest of the springs, up to No. one
dozen, / am now discovering. Ii you want
to know the results following the use OF
lithia I will give you the statistics OF TINS
season:
| "Cured of govt, 1,O01.
| "Cured of rheumatism, 2,O03.
| "Cured of gravel, dyspepsia, nervous DE-
bility, and 225 other diseases beyond compu'
| tation.
| "Tbe only case of failure we have had was
| that OF lame man, and we founa lnpos'
sible to improve his wooden leg"
Then Baptist showed me the museum,
| where there are stored up all the cast on
crutches and sticks Of ex-patients. looked
at these records of suffering humanity With
the greatest awe, and my admiration Ior
Iithia grew muehly.