The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1874-10-21

approaches.
Respectfully yours,
RICHARD OWEN.
MARK TWAIN'S COLD.
And the Remedie. He Tried for the
Relief oft.
8 One of the grammar schools of New
York recently invited Mark Twain to
attend its annual distribution of di-
,plo,nas and premiums. Mark was un-.
able to respond in person, but sent
the following letter of explanation:
HARTFORD. Conn. October 5.
Miss X. w. White:
Dear Madam: regret exceedingly
being unable to accept your kind invi-
tation (also Mr.. P. &. Duffy's) to be
present at your commencement exer-
cises, but the annoying and vexatious
illness which still hangs about me,
together with some business engage
ments, will prevent. The illness to
which | refer is a severe cold which !
took in New York last winter during
the lecture season. Perhaps the re-
cital of how tried to cure this cold
may be of interest, and may serve in
stead of the few remarks you so po-
litely asked me to make to the friends
and pupils.
The first time began to sneeze. a
friend told me to go and bathe my feet
in hot water and 60 to bed. did so.
Shortly after another friend told me
to get up and take cold shower bath.
! did that also. Within the hour, an
other friend assured me that it was
policy to feed cold and starve a fever.
l had both. So l thought it best to
ill myself up for the cold, and let the
fever starve awhile. In a case of this
kind l seldom do things by halves; I
ate pretty heartily. | conferred my
custom upon a stranger, who had just
| opened his restaurant on Cortlandt
street, near the hotel, that morning,
paying so much for full meal. He
waited near me in respectful silence
until | had finished feeding my cold,
when he inquired ifthe people about
| New York were much afflicted with
colds, [ told him / thought they
were. He then went out and took in
his sign.
| started up toward the Office, and
on the way encountered another bosom
friend, who told me that quart ol
warm salt water would come as neal
curing cold as any,hing in the world
hardly thought had room for it
but tried it, anyhow. The result
was surprising. believe [ threw up
my immortal soul. Now, as l give
my experience only for the benefit oI
those Of your friends who are troubled
with this distemper, [ feel that the.
will see the, propriety of my caution
ing them against following such por
tions of it as proved inefficient will
me, and acting upon this conviction
warn them against warm salt water. |
NAV be good enough remedy. but
think it is rather too severe. If | ha'
another cold in the head, and ther
was no course left me but to tax
either an earthquake or quart o
warm salt water, l would take m
chance on the earthquake. After thi
! everybody in the hotel became inter
: ested. and [ took all sorts OF RENE
dies-hot lemonade, cold Lemonade
pepper tea, boneset, stewed Quaker
: hoarhound syrup, onions and loaf-su
gar, lemons and brown sugar, vinega
: and laudanum, five bottles fir balsam
eight bottles cherry pectoral, and te
bottles of Uncle Sans remedy, on
all without effect. One Of the pre-
scriptions given by an old lady was
we'll, it was dreadful. She mixed
] decoction composed of molasses, cat
] nip, peppermint, aqua fortis. turpen
| tine, kerosene, and various othe
}. drugs, and instructed me to take
: wineglassful of it every fifteen minute
e never took but one dose; that Wa
!; enough. l had to take to my bed, an
t remain there for two entire day
: When | felt little better more thing
s were recommended l was desperate
/ and willing to take anything. Plai
o gin was recommended, then gin an
!. molasses, then gin and onions. l too
e all three. l detected no particular IT
: suit, however, except that [ had al
# quired breath like turkey buzzar
J. aud had to change my boarding plac
n At this new place they suggested
n different remedy to any yet tried.
K sheet bath was recommended. ha
de- never refused remedy yet, and
e seemed poor policy to commence the
IS therefore determined to take she
l. bath. though l had no idea what SO
r of an arrangement it was. 1t was az
ministered at midnight, aud the weatl
e er was very frosty. My back al
It breast we're stripped, and she
70 (there appeared to be a thousar
h yards ofit) soaked in ice-water w
!, wound around me until [ rescmbled
It swab for columbiad. 1t is cru
r. expedient. When the chilly RI
70 touches ones warm flesh it max
!. him start with sudden violence al
=, gasp for breath, just as men do in Il
Of death agony. 1t froze the marrow
ye my bones and stopped the beating
ty my heart. 1 thought my time h;
,r come. When l recovered from th
! a friend recommended the applicable
te of mustard plaster to my breast.
7 believe it would have cured me effet
A. ually il it had not been for you
Clemens. When l went to bed l p
\ the mustard plaster where I cou
:. reach it when should be ready for
q. But young Clemens got hungry in t
-, night and ate it up. l never saw al
- - child have such an appetite. / a
40 confident that he would have eat