The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-04-02
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

A child wishes to know why all the dolls
are girls.
"A way to improve poor memory-re-
member the poor.
- Why is a kiss like rumor? Because it
goes from mouth to mouth.
- The surest way to lose your health is to
keep drinking other peoples.
- In breach of promise case at Ft. Wayne,
the lover was found guilty of writing "mi hart
beets ownly for the mi darlin hunny."
Adam had one consolation when he fell.
Fifteen or'twenty acquaintances didn't stand
on the opposite corner and laugh at his mishap.
A young lady wants to know whether a
girl may be sure man loves her unutterably
when he sits in her presence for an hour with
out speaking.
- The Indians have invented a new method
of scalping victims, so that bald-headed man
stands no more show than any one else. This
is as it should be-.
A Western paper says of the air, in its
relations to man: "It kisses and blesses him,
but will not obey him" Blobbs says that that
description suits his wife exactly.
If you invest money in tools, and then
leave them exposed to the weather. it is the
same as loaning money to a spendthrift with
out security-a dead loss in both cases.
but she won't see you tonight" "Why.'
"Cause she said she was going to have mess
of onions if she never did get another beau"
-"What is heavens best gift to man p
asked a young lady Sunday night, smiling
sweetly on pleasant looking clerk. "A hoss, u
replied the young man, with great prudence.
- Busy not thyself in searching into other
mems lives; the errors of thine own are more
than thou canst answer for. 1t more concerns
thee to mend one fault in thyself, than to find
out thousand in others.
An editor describing effects of squall
upon canal boat says, "When the gale was at
its highest, the unfortunate craft keeled to lar
board and the Captain and anoth cask OF
whiskey rolled overheard"
- The old theory about hearing the murmur
of the sea in shell is said to be humbug.
For, if you will hold a beaver hat, or a goblet
or pickle bottle, or an oyster can to your ear,
you will hear the same delicious murmuring.
Sixteen lady medical students graduated
in Philadelphia recently. Including those
who passed through other colleges in the West
and elsewhere in the United States this Spring,
the number of women who have entered the
medical profession this year will not probably
fall below one hundred
"A Nebraska journal invitingly says
"Who says farmers cannot get rich in this
State? Fifteen years ago young man came
to the State, without dollar in the world
Last week he went out of the State, carrying
with him the sum of one dollar and thirty
eight cents, the savings of fifteen years ot
frugal life. Come West, young man, come
Westl"
- An exchange tells US that school-boy's
toothache generally commences at a. m.
reaches its highest latitude at quarter to g.
when the pain is intense to an extraordinary
degree commences to subside at 9, and after
that disappears with a celebrity that must be
very comfortable to the sufferer. If at night
that boy hasn't got four quarts of walnuts
spread out to dry up stairs, it is because there
is no place up stairs to do it.
- We do not expect to dissuade people
from kindling their fires with the dangerous
oil of kerosene, though we have probably prin'
ted accounts of from 40 900 to $4,000 accidents
more or less fatal, of the result of this incau
tious expedent. 1t may do no harm, however
to mention that woman in Fort Wayne Ind.
who, a week or two ago, had pair of beau
tiful arms, is now totally wanting in those
beautiful limbs. Amputated, both of them
and all because of kindling with kerosene.