The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-02-19
Items of Interest.

An Irishman being asked in court for
his certificate of marriage, showed big
scar on his head about the. size Of
small shovel.
A marriage in buggy lately took
place in Virginia but the vehicle soon
afterward overturned, and the bride
became little sulky.
An old lady from the country, with
six unmarried daughters, went into
Augusta, Ga, the other day, hunting
for the Patrons of Husbandry.
Why are young ladies at the breaking
up of party like arrows? Because
they can't go off without beau, and are
all in quiver till they get one.
In Ceylon, the marriage ceremony
is performed by tying the couple
together by the thumbs. In this coun-
try they are usually put together by the
ears.
A gallant, in noticing grocery kept
by woman, says: Her tomatoes are
as red asher cheeks, her indigo as blue
as her own eyes, and her pepper as hot
as her own temper"
In late severe gale lady asked
neighbor if he was not afraid his
hOuoO Woulu DlOW AWAY. vi, uO,
was the answer, "the mortgage on it
is so heavy as to make thatimpossible."
Mr.. Jones carries his money in his
hat, and the other day, when he saw
the entire supply going off on the
winds of heaven, he bitterly remarked:
"Thats what you get with your internal
imitation"
Gamma, dear, if I should attempt to
spell Cupid, why could I not get beyond
the first syllable ?" Anna gave it up,
whereupon William said. " Because I
came to Gu, of course, and cannot go
any further"
| It is cnrions fact that all the Presi-
| dents of the United States puU tv,., 1,..o
each but one Christian name. The
moral thus taught to parents is obvious
don't use front names recklessly in
naming your babies.
A young beau, at his sisters evening
party, began to sing, "Why am 1 so
weak and weary ?" when little brother
brought the performance to close by
yelling out "Aunt Mary says it's
cause you come home too late every
night"
We have statics and hydrostatics,
| Du6umdUlCS huu puu hohC
Of these exactly represents the feelings
of young ladies when they see new
bonnet or a new baby, or hear Of
another ball or a fresh party-this is
ecstatics.
An editor who had been keeping q
record of big beets, announces at last that
"the beet that beat the beat that beat the
other beet is now beaten by beet that
beats all the beets, whether the origi-
the beet that beat the beet that beat
the beet"
Miss Rosa Sands, daughter of Rear
Admiral Sands, U. s. N, in charge of
the Naval Observatory at Washington,
received the White Veil of the Nuns of
the Order of the Visitation, at Mount
De Sales Convent, Baltimore county,
Md. A very large assemblage witnessed
the ceremony.
The New York Tribune almanac,
for many years standard authority in
political, statistical and commercial
matters, is this year better than ever.
Several new and valuable departments
have been added, making the work in
dispensable. Send twenty cents to the
Tribune, New York, for it.
How much our home comforts are de.
pendent upon the capacity of our SER
wants finds daily illustration. Old lady
at a dinner party-old lady deaf and
provided with ear-trumpet-old lady
interrogated by we'll ll-meaning waitress
"Will she have some squash ?" Old
lady irresponsive, but extends her ear
trumpet toward waitress, who deposits
squash therein and passes on.