Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-08-27

MORTGAGE on every one of his organs. If
Won bought one of him and paid him for
il. if would be liable to be took away
from YOU anv minute, when YOU was
right in the middle Of a tune, leavin' you
settin' on the stool, and you would lose
every cent of your money
Good gracious" says l, for it skairt
me to think what narrow chance we
had run. Wall, finally, he brung in one
of hisen and set it up IN the kitchen, the
parlor bein' full on 'em.
Wall he driv off, and he hadn't more'n
cot out of sight when the first organ
man came, and | treated him pretty cool,
thfnkin' in my own mind how he had
tried to cheat US. He see my Brightness
and asked me to tell him what was the
matter, and finally | up and told him.
And then. oh, how that man swore. He
said the teller that just left here was
the biggest liar in North America. He
had been turned out of church after
church Just for lynn" and then he Of
fered to bring down lawyer to prove it
was a lie, and says he, " I'll swear to it. /"
You have sworn enough about It
now" says /, coolly, and almost frigidly,
for ] was gettin' out OF patience with the
whole caboodle Of 'em.
Wall, the next day new one came.
He asked 200 and % dollars for hisen in
the first place, but when Josiah told him
he had had one offered to him for $50.
he SAID we might have his for $40 dollars,
and he would throw in a stool and a
tune-book and a spread for it.
Cant you throw in a nice little me-
lodeon?" says Josiah, for it sickened
that man to see 'em 90 on. To see man
fall down So dollars to one fall.
That Teller hung round the biggest
part of the day, was there to dinner
and supper; but Josiah didn't give
him any decided answer, and finally he
went off. But no sooner would one
swarm 90 than another came; and before
| the week was out the house was full:
you couldn't turn round without hittin
| against a sewing machine, or piano, or
sunthin.
And the fellers a comm and goin' at
all hours. For a spell at first Josiah
would come in and talk with 'em, but
after a while he got tired out, and when
| he would see one a comm he would
start on the run for the barn and hide,
and | would stand the brunt of it alone.
| One Teller see Josiah runnin' for the
! barn, and he followed him in, and Josiah
| dove under the barn, as | found out
| afterward. | happened to see him a
| crawlin' out after the Teller drove off.
Josiah came in shakin' himself, for he
was all covered with straw and feathers,
| and says he:
q will buy gun the first hard work
l do"
Says I, q would be ashamed of myself,
| Josiah Allen. ! guess it hain't no harder
for you than it is for me-"
"Well, | was a-calculatin' to make it
easier for you. What do you suppose /
was a-goin' to shootin' 'em for? 1t would
help you as well as it would me to thin
'em off little"
Says |, "Josiah, to say nothin' of the
wickedness Of it, it wouldn't do no good
! Don't you remember the fox in the BRAN
! bles? Let the old swarm remain, for if
you drive 'em off hungrier set would
come, and then | should be utterly de
| vOured"
Wall, this took place about noon. I
had an awful headache, and l told Josiah,
says |:
"How am I goin' to tussel with them
agents this afternoon, | don't know,
| enjoying such poor health as | do to-
! day"
When I felt well I could get along with
/ Gil DClGCI, Jul IL OllIlIl I SGCIH W lllG Dis IL
| could argue with 'em all the afternoon,
feelin' as / did, and Josiah had got to go
in the woods to work
Says Josiah, "Ill fix 'em. I'll set a
trap just outside the gate and catch 'em
in it,"
Says l, THAT won't do no good, Jo-
siah, for if you would disable 'em |
should only have them to take care of,
and if you should ketch one in it the rest
could get over the fence"
Says Josiah, d" Can't [ fix the clothes
line so it would trip them up?"
" Not in the daytime" says |, de-
pressedly.
Take that old pop-gun of Thomas
Jetferson's and load it with beet juice
and shoot 'em with it, and make 'em
think you have drawed blood"
"There amt no beet juice" says I in
a gloomy tone. and if there was, how
could take aim with my head as it is
today"
wall" says Josiah, " have got to go,
| anyway. You lock up the house and go
to bed, and mebby you can keep 'em
out" And so did as soon as Josiah
started off let down the curtains and
locked the DOORS and laid down. heard
knOckin' to the door a good many times,
and considerable moving and stamping
round the house, but | never stirred I'M
til it was time for Josiah to come home,
and then | reused up to hang on the tea
kettle. Wall, just histed up a little
corner of the window curtain, and
could just see pair of shinin' boots in
front of the parlor door went to the
other window and there I could see the
hull on hint was the everlastin' piano
man. | went into the kitchen just as
still as | could and heard talkin' on the
piazza. Peekin' through a hole in the
curtain | saw two of 'em: one a SEWN
machine man and the other a organ; SO
they was friendly to each other, and sot
together
AS stood there the organ man spoke
up:
They must be to home pretty soon and
l guess that piano Teller will find that
can stick it out as long as he can" says
he.
Yes" says the other Teller, land ]
guess that t'other Teller will find that he
can't tucker me out if he should stay
here all night"
Thinks |, mebby can slip out the back
door and fill the tea-kettle, but III be
han Gel if one didn't set there on the back
stoOp, looking down the road that led to
Jonesvllle, as close as cat would watch
a rat-hOle.
went back to my room again, worn
out and depressed, and | wished that
Josiah would come. | peeked out the
winder toward the barn, to see if | could
see him, and happening to cast my eyes