Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1874-05-01
CURRENT ITEMS.

| LEAD astray-Bullets that don't hit the
mark.
| A NoRwALK (Conn) cat, bereaved OF
her kittens, has adopted five young chick
ems.
STEPPING with the bare feet on an oil
cloth at two a. m. rarely fails of suggest
ing new figures of speech.
WHAT relief, Jones thinks, it must bt
to ladies of an uncertain age to know thai
| they may at least be cre-mated.
A DUBUQUE girl received three pounds
| of candy and serenade by starting tine
story that she had fallen heir to 10000.
To CLEAN Drowned porcelain kettle
| boil peeled potatoes init. The porcelain
will be rendered nearly as white as when
new.
SOME one has stolen the silver brick
which Nevada was going to present tC
the English Capt. Lorraine.-DetroSt Fire.
Press.
IT. is good ground for divorce in st
Louis if a wife finds 113 love-letters from
red-headed woman in her husbands
pocket.
THERE is large willow tree at Box
ford, Mass, hundred years old, which
has grown from cane casually stuck in
the ground.
A RICHMOND paper thinks that the NOV
ing of the mountains in North Carolina
must be owing to the increase of faith in
that region.
BoBBs complains that his wife is an in.
flationist She blows him up every day
| and makes him circulate until he actually
feels that he is beyond redemption.
IF Kentucky man will shoot his best
friend in dispute about fifty-cent um-
brella, what would he do in case some
one drove his best cow to the pound?
A MAN in Boston, in his hurry to assist
fainting lady, got a bottle of mucilage
instead of camphor, and bathed her face
with it. She was good deal stuck up
with his attention.
A NEW YORK paper says that Vir-
ginia mule is two pegs above New York
Coroner in point of intelligence and sa-
gacity, though it doesn't want to hurt any
Coroner's feelings.
DIR. DIo LEWIS asserts that smokers
are morose. This is because, during one
of his dull lectures few weeks ago to a
small audience of tobacco punishers,
more rose and left than stayed.-Memphis
AUalGnche.
THE body of woman lately deceased
in New York is to be exhumed for the
purpose Of testing the question as to
whether she was poisoned. SupposinQ
now, she had been burned instead of bur-
led, Messrs. Cremationists
SOME melancholy man with turn for
arithme tic has calculated that the people
who died in Philadelphia last year
would have made a procession one mile
long, marching ten abreast. What a loss
to the centenniall
QUIz looked mournfully at his indigo
colored dish of potatoes the other morn
ing, and admitted that times were bad
and the potato-bug flourishing, but that
he didn't think it was manly to look SO
blue about it-CsncSnnati Times.
A BOSTON paper wonders why a men,
Der of Congress who recently spoke with
so much feeling of the /" hay-seed in his
hair" and "oats in his throat" forgot to
complete the diagnosis of the case by al
luding to the rye in his stomach.
WHEN Sheriff down in Vermont, in
opening the County Court, the other day,
cried: "All persons having causes or
matters pending therein draw near, and
they shall be heard, and God save the
people" he was satirist and didn't
know it.
A LADY IN Lake City, Fla, has grow
ing in her garden a genuine cork tree
thirty feet high, the bark on which is suf-
ficiently thick to make bottle corks.
There is also in the same garden gen.
uine black pepper bush, which yields
regularly full crop of the berries.
AN interesting new member of the Bos-
ton Young Mems Christian Association is
a Newfoundland dog, who got one of his
fore-paws crushed the other day, and hob
bled past several other buildings to that
of the association, walked up stairs to the
library and held out his MANNED paw in
pitiful way. He was adopted, and given
surgical treatment gratis.