The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-12-18
Breyities.
A MATTER of course-A horse-race.

Mr.. KARD, who sawed off three fla
gers the other day, doesn't hold full
hand.
WHAT risk do people run who sit in
free pews in church? OF being good
for nothing.
A PHILOSOPHER has discovered tina
men don't object to be overrated except
by assessors.
AT Benicia, Cal, there is now on ex-
hibition grape measuring 5-8
inches one way and 30 inches the
other.
THE Bostons retain the base ball
championship for the third season,
with the Mutuals second and Athletics
third.
JEOPARDY jeopardy ?" exclaimed
an old merchant when told that his
schooner was in that condition, "where
is that ?"
GOOD nature, like bee, collects its
honey from every herb. III nature, like
a spider, sucks poison from the sweet
est flower.
GERMANY has just launched her sew
enth trst-class iron-clad, and the
eighth, now being constructed, is to be
afoat in April.
LESLIE COMBS says he has "not a
false or sound TOOTH" This is an I'M
precedented instance of the durability
of fne-tooth Combs.
THE oldest resident of Albany was
followed to the grave the other day, but
he leaves daughter worth $500, 600 to
assuage public grief.
SOME folks call it Boss-town,"
others Bawston," and others "B-os-
ton," but the real pronunciation is
"Boz-ton, dwelling long on the 81"
RIsToRI has been quite successful in
studying the English language. She
can say ridiculous improbabilities
with ease, and is practicing on
"thirsty."
Mr.. GEORGE H. NETTLEToN has been
appointed General Manager of the Mis-
souri, River, Fort Scott and Gulf Rail
road, with full powers and authority as
its chief executive officer
"How much for this print % "Nine
cents, mum" nineteen cents Ill
give you eighteen" "Nine cents,
mum you misunderstood me-" sob,
nine cents; I'll give you eight"
THE following striking lines forms an
inscription found at Melrose Abbey:
The earth goeth on the earth, glistening in gold
The earth goes TO the earth sooner than it void
The earth builds on the earth castles and towers;
The earth says to the earth All shall be ours
A CALIFORNIA temperance association
limits the beverages of its members to
wine, beer and cider, Except when
laboring under a sense of discour-
agement, and then whisky will be al
lowed.
The mild weather is Matching out the
grasshopper eggs at the West, and the
fields swarm with young insects. The
farmers exult in the thought that win
ter will kill them and they will be free
from the pest next season.
Col. WILLIAM WILSON, who raised
the famous corps known as "Billy
Wilson's zouaves," at the beginning of
the war, died at New York city last
week. He fought CALAMITY throughout
the war, and had since lived a quiet
life.
THREE little girls in Hartford, God
bless EN-, spent q week on fancy work,
and then held fair, which Melted nine
dollars, with which they purchased a
ton of coal for poor widow lady of
that city.
THE invention of the musical scale, or
gamut, occurred in 1922. 1t was the
Il e @~,l
uted much TO diffuse taste for music.
The inventor, Guido Arctine, was sent
for thrice to Rome to teach it to the
clergy.
TIE annual report of Superintendent
Bangs, of the Railway Postal Service,
shows a variety of interesting facts,
prominent among them being the state
ment that of all the mail carried under
his superintendent " per cent. is news
matter to regular subscribers.
PRINCE BISMARCK is now reported to
be in excellent health. The wound in
hlcted by Kullmann has left scar, but
it is perfectly healed. Close to it, how
ever, on the wrist of his right hand, a
red mark remains, which is still sore
enough to make writing a somewhat |
painful exertion.
SUCH death as that which occurred |
at Uxbridge, Massachusetts, recently, !
is extremely rare. The body of an un-
known man, sixty years old, was found
hanging with head downwards on the
fence of the cemetery. He had appar-
emily caught his ankle between the
pickets over the fence, and had evident
ly been dead a day or two.
SATISFACTORY SOLUTION.
Facts in geology and Egyptology,
Very momentous as touching chronology,
Seem to run counter to facts of theology.
Very well, never mind. What il they do?
These facts, and those facts well, may be true.
Truth aud truth neer can at variance be;
All truths will some day be proved to agree.
Seemingly different truths, LET us say
Are equally true in different way.
AS an illustration of the kind of rea-
soning often heard from the lips of men
when the interests of women are under
discussion, Mrs. Fawcett mentions the
case of an Englishman who opposed the
education of women because he had
tried it on his own daughter, "and it
was all wasted, for, after all, she was
married at nineteen %
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