The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-12-19

The stars are shdlg too;
=. While am gazing dreaoly,
81 Add thingkig love, Oh you;
80 you caddot, oh, you cadd0t know,
IN Nv dnrlig, how bliss you
,Ob' wladt o fearful cold I've got
% Ok.tish. II! Ch,ch-thish.uo
t. The foo was so thick in Troy early the othc
e morning that the Times solcmnly AYERS ont
could not distinguish policeman from hitch
:, ing post across the street if he didn't know tha
d hitchins posts never snore
II now turns out that oat meal doesn't MAKE
brain after all, and the Philadelphia editors VINO
r laid in dozen barrels apiece for winter use VIII
be almost mad enough to give it to the poor
Detroit Free Press.
Another proof that the Bible iayors moderate
drinking. Scripture is keeping saloon AT W.
, braska City.--Chi. Post.
Some fellow has composed and publishc" .ne
'Bunyan Quickstcp' We should THINK 'hN'
persons who have corns would make poor pro-
grcss in it,
TURKEYS who may survive the holidays nave
: appointed January I'd, 1873, as day Oh 'haiNo-
giving WhitehdH Times.
The saddcst man in the city, lately, was .Ilc
one who had been told that the iirst snow OF the
season was the proper thing IN whIch TO 1Fe .a
hOOts,
walking encyclopaeda who dispensed such gra-
tuitous information, lie will show him wrinkle
lin the boot breaking business which, though
having no CLAIM to novelty, mas always Dceh ~
tended by large amount of satisfaction To the
wearcr-Bur HdirkeJe
| A charming poem, written by literary lady
in our midst, entitled Beautiful SNOW is ncces-
sarily laid over until next week. Yonke'S ga
zette.
An Iowa father, who has succeeded in raising
seventeen Of the worst children in his neighbor-
hood says he is bound to have a representative
in heaven if il takes seventeen more.
| a newspaper that has no cnemies is paper
without spinalty, is the way they put it now.
Down in the mouth'-Tom and Jcrry.-FOrt
Wayne Gazette.
A fearfuly worked up half-sheet reaches us
from the interior OF Indiana, with 'Plez Shans
written on the margin. We do not understand
Chinese.
MIN. NJ. Smith, of the Dcnocrat, Gallatin,
Mo, retrcs from that journal with the brief vale
dictory of I've quit
Mrs, Mcfarland Richardson is teaching the
wax flower business in Chicago, and Daniel, so
far as the public is Informed, has gone to juds |
ment.
Miss Wheat, of Alabama, recently married Mr..
Timothy of Georgia. If Timothy should die,
would his reict be Il grass widow? If Timothy
thinks that this conundrum looks too far ahead
he can amuse himself by grading little
Wheat.
The editor Of an agricultural paper which pub
lished the sentence: Make manure OF your old
fadder' wishes the last word changed to fod'
der
The Louisville CourierJou,Hal says that to
place such man as Secretary Fish in the prcsi
dental chair would be too much like packing
sardine in dry goods box. Such wickedness,
The Terrc Haute Express talks about sanity
being standing clad in the white tights of purity.
The Gilman people are anxious to have Bar
NUNS IIippodromc visit them next summer.
They guarantee him no expense for canvass.
They Will hire that Gilman girl for half dollar
to stand II tcn-acre lot and spread her ears.
Small boys detected crawling under the canvass
will be promptly killed. hqnkahee Gazette.
The Sterling papers, between heavy black
lines inform us that they are going to Kill
Patrick, December 10Th. The jury may acquit
them.
Tentilating the halls of congress appears to
have been carefully looked after during the re
cess The halls OF congress have long needed
vcnt!lation.-R. /. THjOn.
The ST Louis Times significantly heads its cIec-
ton news: Rise Up, William Allen and has in
lis editorial the following original poetry:
And what a blast Bill Allen he,
In eighteen hundred and scycnty-three,
Blew DER all the Union far and near
That wondrOus fog horn still we hear, Il
Like Gabricl's trump il rcnds the skies
The Democratic dead arise.
\ hunting party was organized last week in
Peoria. One OF the party went for the outfit
and came back with three gallons of whisky and
q pound of shot. The rest were all mad because
he got so much shot.
Bad news for young husbands with weak lungs
rubber inhatdhc hustle, are coming into
fashion again,-.Ha. Sent.
The paper, are all down on q meaning
GOOD hearted, but impulsiyc man, in Indiana,
who, in a moment Of irritation, Killed his mother
in-law. and afterwards burned her in a brush
heap. l. the Constitution OF Independence
which Declare that God endowed all men with l
the ncstimablc rights OF liberty and the pursuit
Of .appincss,-is this, we ask, a farce? Is a man
10 be socially o,tracizcd because he happens to
lose his temper and Kill his mother-in-iawy
The editor OF the Millington Enterprise being .
absent from home, the Office boy makes merry .
at the expense OF hi, royal nibs by padding out /
the paper with original wood cuts.
Nicholson, OF the Bcardstown Waoiaot, is the
guilty wretch who did this
lady tradinp in Il virginia store the other |
day, insisted upon being furnished with goods az
less price than Others were required 10 pay. |
The clerk wanted 10 know why, To which she |
replied, There i little Granger in me-
Twcuty.onc girls Of Kcnosha, Wis, have Re.
solved, That i The young men won't come and
see Us, We viii 20 and sec them.
An English girl laughs at the idea that a wo-
man cannot live comfortably with her mother
NAV, and adycrtises for some good-looking |
young fellow TO give her chance to try the cX-