Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-07-02
Varieties Of An Kinds.


dog, try to get near the dog.
i Nothing contributes so much to
the "Music of the Future rs matri-
mony.
! The husbands in Springfield, Ohio,
have forbidden their wives to brush
their hair, because it gets their dan
der up.
A lady lecturer says women ought
to retain their own names when they
get married. She has not had a
chance to change hers thus far.
A Piqua, Ohio girl, who had a
quarrel with her lover remarked TO
a friend that "she wasn't on squeez-
ing terms with that fraud any more
| A Wisconsin woman who recently
buried her eighth husband has re-
ceived an offer of $500 to move into
some other State. She stands out
for 81, 900.
A handsome young lady dentist IS
about to start business in Brooklyn,
and young men there are commen.
cling to pick their teeth again more
vigorously than ever.
How obstinate some women are!
There was Mrs. Martin, of Eau Claire;
she wouldn't crack some walnuts tor
her poor lame husband, and he had
to flat-iron her to death.
An Omaha girl has introduced a
romantic mode of suicide by stufiing
her lovers letters down her throat un-
til she choked. She couldn't swal-
low his unkind words, and so came
to her end.
4 woman should never consent to
be married secretly. She should
distrust a man who has any reason
to shroud in darkness the act which
in his own estimation should be the
crowning glory of his life.
A lady demonstrated with her bus-
band on her being left TO herself
good deal, and she quoted Byron's
words. "Happiness was born twin
"Yes, DEAR" replied the husband,
"but not n Siamese twin"
The most disappointed woman Is
the lady who had lot OF sarcasm
for her brother-in in law elect, and
couldn't use it because the match
was broken off en- the day before
that appointed for the wedding.
The National Baptist knows man
who is boasting that he has never
given his wife cross word in the 20
years they have been married. Those
who know the family best, give the
true reason: "He dCsen't dare to-"
A lady had her dress trimmed with
bugles before going to a ball. Her
little daughter wanted to know wheth
er the bugles would blow when she
danced. 40, no" said the mother,
papa will do that when he sees the
Why is it that the young man
about town always considers it
necessary 10 grin when he talks TO
the other sex? Why can't he observe
that it's lovely night, or ask for a
glass OF water without giggling.like an
idiot?
II tell YOU" said Wisconsin man
to neighbor next day after burying
his wife, "when | came to get into
bed and lay thar, and not hearing
Lucinda jawing around for an hour
and half, it just made me feel os if
Id moved into n strange country.
It is now little more than year
since the first postal cards were
brought into use, and an examination
shows that 1908, 800 have been
printed and disposed of. When they
first appeared the demand throughout
the country exceeded all the calcula-
tions made for the supply, and it has
continued unabated TO the present
day.
The Cincinnati En9,arer says that
a gentleman connected with the press
of that city celebrated on the I'd of
Nav his birthday, his wife's birthday,
and his wedding day. 1t was the
twentieth anniversary. When mar
ried the joint ages ofhis wife and him:
self were fifty years. On the last "a
OF May the joint ages of his children
were fifty years.
English papers state that Bishop
Hedley Roman Catholic,) while
preaching in Monmouth, described
the press as "the most powerful en-
CINE in the whole armory ofthe devil.
He believed newspaper writer's
would, in the interest Of their readers,
have even attended the crucifxion.
TIE press, he held, contributed to
the immortality and darkness Of the
world.
A Washington correspondent says
that the day following that on which
Blaine lost his temper in the House
an Illinois Congressman said to him;
Mr.. Blaine, ! am not very familiar
with you, and so / can not speak az
freely az would to an old friend.
But / feel | ought to tell you that
YOU made fool Of yourself yes
terday." Blaine answered with
sigh, II am afraid / dill forget my
self" Then, breaking into chuckle,
he added: "What kind of language
do you use when reproying a man
with whom you consider yourself
thoroughly iDtimateT