, 1874-02-21


Til ruy sonl, in rapture,
Sill vows thee tho dearass and best to ha found.
CHICAGO JANIS LAvALI.lz.
HUMoR-
4 hol1o mocke1y-An echo.
Pressed for time-Egyptian murnmfcs.
In tents excitemens-Panic in circus.
"A lady in Washington WAS recently hcaru to
observe, on taking up the morning paper: II
wonder it anybody has been born that Know"
tim particularly uneasy on this point, said
the fly to the yonng gentleman ~ho stuck him on
the end OF needle.
This ia highly colored: "The hlaca are bud
ding saws WISCONSIN editor. "fon lilac ST.
TAM responds one OF his readers. You violet
the truth" politely replies the editor, and both
arc given over to blue devils.
A sophomore says ho cannot understand
how. any ono possessing what is generally
known "a conscience can counterfeit five
cent piece, and put On the back OF 1t, "1n God
we trust"
After asking your name in the State Of Ar
kansas, the natives arc IN tho hahis OF IN
q1iring, in confidential tone, Well, now,
what Vas yer naue aforo yer moved to these
parts?"
Abiding to the death Of q citizen rcccnt'y,
the Danbury Netos remarka "With tho Aingfa
exception OF twentJ-threo years ago, when he
took : few lessons on violin, his life las been
blAme1ess"
Edith O'Gorman is charged with being =
! charlatan in pesticoats. How should . Charlotte
| ANN be drzped7
Am Ohio woman riding on the cars with hsr
| boy said he was G. and when Eilly spoke up and
| declared he was 10. the good women drew him
over her knee and hsd satisfaction for tho half
| faro she was obliged t., pay.
| Tho cametery pond is the most popular IL
| this vicinity. Here, OF clear night, aud amid
| the solemn memories which cluster about tho
| epot the amateur skater strikes on the back OF
his head. and aweara like pirate.-Ddn6nry
Neecs
| "a clergyman being invited to open Lesis-
lature with prayer, offered the following ambig-
uous petition: ''31ay corruption and sin Ct ey-
| cry form be as far from every mcmber Of th's
t Legislature as Thou art"
| "A boy was caught stealing chostnuta oeaz
t cemetery. whats Jour nama?" Tweed
blubbe1ed tho boy. The frightened farmer
dropped the boy and fed. ,.,,,
How to mako lady stick out her little
| finger. The best way Of securing this effect Ii
to put on the finger in question handsome
diamond ring.
| A Milwaukee dry goods clerk wears 3 shin
gle under his shirt front to keep the wrinkles i'll
subjaction.
| a iewe1ar labeled some diamonds in his win
dow as being al sparklin. as the tears OF Joung
| widow.
-. Do you go to ssbb.th-sehoo1 ny laaa
kindly asked city missionary OF dopratea pr; .ea
innocent child. ''but I've got d 6shtin' cock
that can walk over any bird in this town that
wears gaffs-"
covered that life is not worth having)- )-'I hops
l shsn't be alive after 3o!" Unsympathetlc
elderly party Is there any particular necessity
that you should be alive til 307" ..,
| First swell Let's see = to-no1rows-
| What's tday, byth'by?' ?' Second swell Tues
day, isnt-or Monday ?-was yest'day sunday7
Ne mind (yawns) my mani be hero presently
pwecious sheewd fellow-tel us like = shct -
| Punch .
Young lady. Did you know Strauss whs
| Il iE rr1y +1,A
logian, though"
Says tho Milwaukee Sentinel: An cid Mil
saukee hummer, when he read in yesterdays
| Sentinel that the women in Ohio arc enpty1nE
| barrels OF whisky into tho guttorc, pathotlca1ly
e1cnimed, What happiness to be MI ohio gut
! ter.''
| It is related that in certain town in the
| northern part Of Maine the people we're holding
present lad relatives or friends in blatant lands
| prayers would bo offered in their behaH. No
| sooner was the sentence complete than ample
looking individual arose and thus addressed tho
pastor: ~ would Ike you to pray for my
| brother. Ho went away two weeks ago, aud
haven't heard from him since. l don't know
jest whore he is, but you need not pray below
Bangor"
The Baron de x WIS miser to: the e1-
tremity Of meauness. He WEB at dagsers drawn
with his nephew, who was his heir, and more
over spendthriit. Finding his end approach.
| ing, the Barren called h,s valet. Il Here" said
be, " arc ten sous ; 80 and buy me sheet OF
| stamped paper. wiHh to make will dlslniez-
iting my nephew" ~ But, Monsieur, stamped
| paper ID now twelve Bous eheot. "ITelvo
sous! It ia too dear. had rather let my
scornd1el OF nephew inherit lAustration
Census Oficer-"What aye, madam, shall
nut down ?" Madam {after mature reaectionT
What have you put down for tho lady over
head?'
-simkins playfullY remarked to his wife that
he had four fools: bcautifool, dutifooi, youth
fool, and delghtfool. "Poor mel said she.
II have but one.'
AT q very successful seance in Circ,una1ir
the other night. \ n1u bust into tears When tae
medium described very accurately tau, o!i!e"
eyed spirit standing by him, With hghs siqo-
uhiskc.s and his hair part led IN the In!ddto, 70
you know him p inquired mnn At h's s1ae Ia :
sympathetic whisper. ''know himf Guosa
HHe was engaged to my wife. II no hadn't
died he would have been her husband instead OK
mc. Oh, George, Georgel" ho mnrmuted IN
voice choked with emotion, why did Joa peg
out Z" . u;t;
Yesterday the little son OF ooo OF our el.f
zens, while playing with h!s sister, nnR1.
sweet child CT summers, got bold of ms iasn@t
gun which Lad been left careiesaly stanong ~
thc kitchen by tho thoughtless parent, poln.tso
the gun at his playmate, and, saying 5oa'es!,,
"Tu XII you!" pulled tho trigger. Nhat mnst
hare been that boy feelings when he 1o9ua .ua1
ho h.d lied, that the gun was nos t 49auea n auo
that his innocent litto sister had 4nocEt;d Pe1
tion Of his noBe OF with stick Of "ooa.-1al7
souyi Dr.nstcicker.