Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-08-12
ALI sorts of Paragraphs.

ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.
The softest water is caught when it
rains hard
Boston has woman newspaper car
rier who is eighty-seven years old.
PUss to Tabby-A fellow feline makes
us wondrous kind.
A CHICAGO virago has the appropri-
ate name of Catherine He'll.
! WHEN horse-cars have good conduct
ors they are never struck by lightning
! NNETY-Two pound watermelons are
J the pride of Augusta, Ga. .z*. III.
The tobacco-chewers' favorite dish
Cavendish. mn ..- ....,...-. -a..-..
On week days. you may buy your
music by the sheet on Sunday you
have it by the choir.
THE royal family of Great Britain
costs the treasury $2,377, $40 in gold an
nually. seis = II. laz. II o. 4s.s.
A NEW style of earring is in the form
of harp. Of course it is the harp of
ear-iu. sfFs f#h - I" fF """7
Mr.. SHERRY, of Indiana, become pale
Sherry on being arrested for obtaining
money on worthless draft.
THERE is nothing more calculated to
weaken boys moral character than to
get his fishing hook fastened on rub
bish in the river. 80 af@4.
81 WOULDN'T have left, but the people
kinder egged me on" said man who
was asked why hequit his Kansas home
in hurry. 1919. 49,. .......-.-..... r. ..
"YoUNG in years but an old eloper,"
is a portion Of the description of a run
away wife which was left at an Indian
apolis station house. fea5<s
HAVEN'T / right to be saucy, if I
please?'', asked a young lady of an old
bachelor. e. Yes, if you please, but
) not if you displease," was the answer.
rs them the common dog sassage?''
inquired venerable looking lady, as
she surveyed bunch of bananas over
her spectacles the other day.
TIE East River bridge tower on the
Brooklyn side is now 240 feet high, and
the workmen are laying the 124th
course of masonry.
! "IAM going-I know I am" said
dying Mississippian, land 1 believe d
go easier if Jim would get down the
fiddle and play :Sore-heel Sally once
more" Jim did.
DE1IcATELY put Customer-"I I'm
afraid I'm getting little bald" OPP
orator. Well, sir, think, sir, when
you attend public worship, if I was
you, I'd sit in the gallery. "-Punch.
AT a recent meeting of society
, composed of men from the Emerald
Isle, member made the following mo-
!. ton: "Mr. President l. I move yes
whitewash the ceiling green, in honor
Of the old flag
/ "WHEN one Of our city roughs wants
bite, - says New York paper, "and
can't get anything else, he puts up
with nose. The human proboscis
seems to be considered great delicacy
among them"
A POLITICIAN, wishing to compliment
we'll to do farmer, said &: "You must
have begun life early to accumulate
such an estate as this ?" eyes, replied
the farmer, 81 began life when I was
mere baby"
'sWHAT do you know of the character
of this man % was asked of witness at
a police court the other day. "What
do I know of his character [ know it
to be unbleachable, your honor" he re-
piled, with much emphasis.
4 THERE are now eighty-seven Protest
ant missionaries in the Japanese empire
of these the American board has sent
twenty. the American Presbyterian
hoard thirteen. the Reform church
(American) eleven, the Protestant Epis-
copal eleven, the Methodist Episcopal
ten, and the Baptist union six.
A ScorcHMAN went to lawyer once
for advice, and detailed the circum-
stances of the case. 'Have you told
me the facts precisely as they occur
red ?" asked the lawyer. ooh, aye,
ser !" replied he. 81 thought it best
to tell you the plain truth. Ye can put
the lies into it yourself. =
AT the funeral of his sixth wife, Mr..
B. proffered the officiating clergyman
two dollar greenback. The minister
declined it, saying he was not accus-
toned to accept pay for such services.
i"Just as you say" cody replied the
mourner. "but that's just what have
been in the habit Of paying
This is the way it generally is: Mrs.
Jones will remark to her undutiful lit
tie son: "WLy amt you like Willie
Brown ?'' Mrs Brown will remark to
her hopeful: "Why amt you like
Jimmy Jones?" The boys have lots OF
fun laughing about it. especially When
they are stealing watermelons together
so GRACIOUS, no p exclaimed mrs.
Marrowfat to Mrs. Quoggs, raising ne5
hands and speaking in very eAcIseo
tone 'sShe was SO i'll when her neW
bonnet came home that she coulun
get up: but, dear sakes Jane .na s.
i didn't matter nothing, for she JUST pun
her hat on, and lay with her .l heaa 10 ou !
the front window the whole afternoon. s