Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-04-15
THE BRASS COCK.
A Story of Red Tape.

A Story of Red Tape.
From Tinsleys English Magazine.l
Concerning the early history of our
hero let me here explain that the recol-
lection Of it's subsequent career leads
me at times into speaking of the brass
cock as an animate object
the early history of our hero, repeat,
/ am totally in the dark. I cannot even
throw any light on that period when it
first became the property of her males
ty, and underwent the painful opera
ton of having broad arrow and a w.
d. stamped upon the small of it's back.
All these interesting little details are
wrapped in profound obscurity but
doubtless the brass cock performed it's
duties in connection with beer and por-
ter barrels Just as any other brass cock
might have done When after many
years of home service, III which its con-
stitution became much weakened and
impaired, it's broad arrow and W. d.
nearly obliterated, and it's powers of
leaking highly matured, it was, with
many other WORKOUT articles, drafted
out on foreign service. .-......
Its destination was Hong-Kong,
where I can state it arrived safely, as [
myself saw it there later on. Here it
made stay of some duration in the
military stores, until, one fine day, the
barrack- master at that station discov-
cred that the services of an article of
this description we're required. Then
did the official sit down to his desk,
and, with few strokes of his pen, set
the wondrous machinery of the system
In motion. First of all requisition
was sent in to the fort adiutant of the
garrison, who would have submitted it
to the commandant, who should have
forwarded it to the deputy assistant
quartermaster general of the station,
whose duty it would have been to have
laid it before the general, from whom,
approved of or otherwise, it would then
have returned through the same stages
to the barrack- master.
Now, all these officials, in the natural
course of their duties, would have COM
p1icated matters but the complication
was greatly increased by the fort adju-
tant mislaying the first requisition, and
the commandment, when another one
his pipe with the second. The barrack
master waited patiently for some time,
and then, wondering at the silent con-
tempt with which his not very extrava-
giant demand for one brass cock had
been treated, sent in third requisitlon,
which happened to arrive at the garrl-
son Office just after the first had turned
up under the fort adjutant's nose.
Halloa y soliloquized that intelli-
gent young officer, " there's old Bar
rackv wants two brass cocks" Then
clothing his thoughts in more official
language, he thus addressed the COM
mandant, who sat at the opposite side
of the table.
60 Here are two acquisitions from the
barrack master, sir, for two brass cocks,
dated different days Ia ..r
The commandment took the requisi-
tions, and looked at them very sternly y.
"Why the devil can't he send in one
ho1lisition for the two ?" he irascibly
remarked, as if he had detected and
ni,ped in the bud fearful conspiracy
witt intent to defraud.
Ie fort adjutant, sitting gllmmer-
ing which Just then dawned upon HIM,
that lie himself might have mlslald the
origim1 requisition, diverted the cur
rent ofquestions the eommandant was
about tt put by stating that the barrack
master vas can awful ass. This
opinion the commandment not only IN
dorsed, but added that he was I'D
fool, as lie scrubbed off on the two
acquisitions. Forwarded to the dep
nty assistant quartermaster general for
the consideration of his excellency the
major general commanding. After
this the greater part of the morning
was spent in proving to and agreeing
with each other that all the officers but
their own were, Sc infernal fools - an
occupation which in like manner was
carried on pretty briskly in the other
ial dens.