The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-12-10
GRIEFs OF THE ENGAGED.
Some Reflections IN the interest o
Bachelors and Old Maids.

| Aobn4ng more nor less than profound
mistake, and, IN certain of their moods,
they are inclined to wish that they had
never made it. For one thing. they
find that welded life is expensive for
another thing, they discover that it in
wolves many and sometimes calling re-
| stralnts upon personal liberty and, for
/ ? third thing, they learn that it is not
! always OF a most harmonious character.
Husbands are taught that wives are the
reverse of angelic, and wives are
plainly shown that husbands are by no
means noble, and the acquisi ion of this
/ knowledge is n 1t fraught with pleasant
ness, as it ruthlessly destroys many
dearly priced fancies.
But the nuptial state, even when not
completely satisfactory, is one of COM
parative bliss compared with that which
sometimes precedes marriage. AS a
matter of fact, many " engaged per
sons may be said to live In a mild sort
OF purgatory, which even many kisses
and caresses cannot render anything
more than barely endurable. Take the
case OF an ordinary engaged young
man, and what can be more melan-
choly? There are, as a rule, some half
score Of people whom he is bound to
prOpitiate. At the same time he may
hate them-and justly-with as great
cordiality as he loves the maiden whom
he wishes TO marry.
He must, perforce, be civil to the
papa and mamma of his intended wife.
Yet he may be perfectly well aware that
the papa is I" skin-fint, about whom
the strongest thing in the way of
cOmmendation that can be said is
that he is strictly honorable in busi-
ness, as if a man deserved any credit
! for not rnoIfnpr I,Svoda1f AhnrOv4re1,-
| paced cheat. It may be remarked, by
the way, that such is the low tone of
morality prevalent nowadays, if
man is not an absolute knave, though
he may be stingy and cheese-paTing to
| the last degree, it seems to be thought
| by many people that he should have all
his faults condOned and be held up to
! the admiration of a large circle of
| friends. The bridegroom, that is to
be, may know, further, that the scrubby
! papa, will have something to say when
the question of settlements is brought
on to the carpet, and that he will not
| dover his daughter with a larger por-
ton than he can help, if, indeed, he
does not skillfully get out of delivering
/ her with anything at all. The luckless
lover may also be perfectly we'll aware
that the mamma is one of those dear
in more senses than one-creatures who
areneyer happy unless they are managing
! other peoples affairs. He may be fully
| conscious that the amiable dame regards
him with something very much like sus-
| picion, and that she is convinced that
| he and her daughter will never get on
| without her assistance and advice. He
may, indeed, see in the distance a day
| in which he will have to fight pitched
battle with the generous-heaFted female,
| during the course of which he will be
compelled to intimate, in very plain
terms, that when he wants advice he
/ will ask for it, and that he is determined
/ to be his own master. Meanwhile, he
is bound to smile at the majority of her
aggravating efforts.
Then there are his lady-love's broth
ers. To them, also, he has to assume
| friendly, if not absolutely cordial, de-
meanor. If some unlocked cub plays
upon him q diabolical practical joke, he
can do nothing but absurdly grin at the
wretch. When a brother of another
type seems disposed to treat him in
supercilious fashion, and to show that
| he only tolerates him for the sake of his
sister, the unfortunate engaged young
man is bound to simulate a blindness
| that is simply prepOsteTous in being
protesting to have any senses at all.
] y
| sort, whose principal characteristics are
a love for bad company and a talent for
/ getting into scrapes, selects him as his
! confidante and friend-the attendant
! consequences of this are not easily for
| gotten-what can the poor victim do
! but laugh and pray for a speedy deliv-
erance from all his troublesl Then
/ there are his betrothed's sisters, who
are inclined to dislike him because he
/ has not shown preference for them iu-
stead If her to whom he is engaged.
! They are ever on the alert to pick out
| the weak places in his armOr, and gladly
| give him sharp pricks when he is least
prepared to bear them. Still he has to
! pretend he loves these ladies as if they
were verify his sisters. He is made to
| feel that everybody looks upon him as
an interloper, and think the sooner he
| takes the bride away TO a den of his
/ own the better it Will be for all parties.
OF course, papa and mamma are, after
a fashion of their own, civil to him in
return for his effusive polite attentions
| to them. But when he is talking busi-
ness or politics with papa, domestic
! economy with mamma, amusements with
| the brothers, and every thing general
with the sisters, he cannot avoid seeing
! that he is, in nine cases ont of ten, sue
| cessful only as a bore. He knows, and
| they know, that after he has been safely
married and done for he will drop into
| that insignificant position which he is
most fitted to adorn, and which is most
conducive to his comfort. Under these
circumstances he may be excused if he
| longs for the time when he may not be
called upon to appear amiable when he
| feels the reverse, when he may not have
| to spend hours in oOnversing with peo-
| pie with whom he has no sympathies in
| common, and when, in short, he may
not have to act the part of q thorough
going humbug.
| An engaged young lady is, perhaps,
/ somewhat more fortunately circum-
stanoed. She has, at any rate, the
] privilege of wearing her love openly,
| which, in the case of a woman, is some
thing tangible, and a great many hours
/ of her life are relieved from all suspi-
/ cion Of eslnlti, which, also, in her case,
is what she should be thankful for. But
/ then. on the other hand, she is victim
/ to the painful consciousness that she is
/ bound to be on her best behavior. She
may be perfectly we'll assured that
| her lovers friends will keep a sharp
| lookout for her weak points, and that
they viii probably come to the cOnclu-
sion that she is not good enough for
him. Then all engaged people
male and female-are stock subjects for
ridicule. Every ha'f hedged willing
imagines himself at liberty to cut lame
/ Jokes at their expense-iokes which
might not attract attention if It were
not for their bad taste. Let the unfor-
| tunate individuals speak to each other
in a confidential manner, and at once
there is set In circulation flow Of
iocose satire, at which every one seems
bound to laugh oOnsumedly. It may
well be asked, is there no way of escape
from the ordeal TO which engaged peo-
pie, and especially engaged young men,
| are now subjected? But to the query
we cannot pretend to give an answer.
The Largest Iron-CIad AflOat.
The Russian iron-clad Peter the
Great, which was built after the designs
of Adiutant-General Popoff IN 1872. was
sent on its first trial trip from Cron-
stadt on the 18th of October, accom-