davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
A Pleasant Practical Joke,

TO THE order of good -natured practi-
cal jokes belongs the trick that was
played on Charles Morris, the wellknown
song-writer. The Captain lived IN a
snug retreat in Surrey, provided for him
by the Duke of Norfolk. A party of
gentlemen determined to take him by
surprise, and, having provided them
selves with an excellent dinner and some
fine wines packed in hampers, entered
their carriages and started for Morris
house, anticipating with heartfelt delight
the confusion and dismay with which the
host would greet SO formidable party.
He was in the garden listening to black
bird. Suddenly number Of carriages
whirled round the corner and stopped
before his door. Out of these carriages
stepped il crowd of gentlemen, among
them the Duke of Sussex "We are
come to dine with you, old Bard" said
the Duke. Your Royal Highness has
taken us BY surprise" said Morris, " but
we will send off for some provisions to
Dorking; it is only three miles off, A
messenger was dispatched, but, con-
formally to previous instructions, inter
ccpted and. a walk in the garden being
proposed, the Captain was detained there
in conversation while the servants were
setting out the table and arranging the
banquet. All this time the Bard is
described as suffering the agonics of
host who, although on hospitality intent,
was conscious Of the emptiness Of his
larder, and on the anxious lookout for
the arrival Of the basket laden with sup
plies from Dorking Presently the din
ner was announced Morris entered
the dining profusely apologizing as
he went. TO his profound amazement,
however, he perceived a turbot at the
bead Of the table, and long vista Of
hams, fowl, venison, pastry, terminating
in sublime round of boiled beef. "a
most ingenious and wellexecuted de-
vice" said Morris; "the joke, however.
is not at my expense and sat down and
heartily enjoyed himsclf.-IH the Year
R,3f,l1
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
4 Strange Clock.

Il
STRANGE clock is said to have once
belonged to Hindoo prince. In front
of the clocks disk was gong swung
mon poles, and near it was pile OF arti-
fetal human limbs. The pile was made
I'D Of the full number Of parts necessary
to constitute twelve perfect bodies; but
all lay heaped together in apparent con-
fusion.
When the hands of the clock indicated
tie hour of one, out from the pile
crawlcd just the number Of parts needed
to form the frame Of one man, part com
ing to part with quick click; and when
completed, the figure sprang up, seized a
mallet, and walking up to the gong
struck one blow This done, he returned
to the pile, and fell to pieces again.
When two o'clock came, two men arose,
and did likewise; and at the hours of
noon and midnight the entire heap
sprang up, and, marching to the gong
struck, one after the other his blow
making twelve in all then, returning, fell
to pieces as before
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
Cheap Travelling.

| A REMARKABLE instance of the extent
to which competition may be carried is
found in the wonderfully reduced rates
| of transatlantic passage at the present
time. A steerage passage to Europe may
now be obtained as low as $40, while the
average prices are from So to $40. Dur
ing the past summer many Irish and En-
glish emigrants have gone back to their
native land to visit friends and relatives,
and they are now beginning to return
700 having arrived at Castle Garden one
day last month. The cheapness OF the
fare renders the Eurol can trip really lit
tie more than pleasure excursion. Not
withstanding the lowness of the price,
too, and that the passenger is provided
for twelve or fourteen days with food
and drink, yet the fare is, upon the
whole, good, plentiful and wholesome
The food consists Of boiled beef and
pork, salt fish, hot bread, crackers, rice
and barley soup, potatoes, hard ships
biscuit, porridge, molasses, and poor
grade Of coffee. The passengers have to
provide their own plates and table cut
lery. They also provide their own beds
and blankets. A kit" consists of set
of tin dishes, and straw bed can be
bought of vendors on the wharves for
from $3.50 to $500. These, especially
the beds, are usually thrown away at the
end OF the voyage. Dining-tables are
nrnUIdpd n Int
migrants prefer to have the food
brought to their berths by the
ships steward, as they usually
have pickles and other relishes of their
own to add to their meals. Water has to
De obtained on deck, and it is generally
much less plentiful than food. There are
generally number of musical instru-
ments and many musicians. On the voy-
age they amuse themselves with music,
songs and dancing. Every day those who
are able to do SO are required to 60 on
deck to get the fresh air. Considerable
difficulty is often experienced in stormy
weather in carrying this regulation into
effect. Those who are not accustomed
to the sea are usually very sea-sick, and
cannot be persuaded to leave their berths.
Their tickets are not taken up until they
have been two or three days at sea-
Now that this era of cheap fares to Eu-
rope has been inaugurated in one portion
OF the ship, it is morally certain that,
sooner or later, it must come in the other.
To be sure, it does not cost 50 much to
carry steeragc as it does to carry cabin
passengers; but, with continually-in-
creasing competition, it is very certain
that reduction must come in the higher
class Of fares, and the profits Of the
steamship companies be greatly cut
down The man who, twenty years ago,
would have spoken of going to Europe
for $40 would have been hooted at That
has come to pass, and it cannot be long,
with the fierce rivalry now waging, that
even greater wonders may be looked for.
-Neao York Ernrcss
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

BrpoEREE.-Mince small, cold, boiled
paddock or any other fish, add four hard
boiled eggs, also minced; boil large
teacup of rice, drain and dry it melt in
a stew-pan butter size of egg, and make
the mince very hot in it; mix lightly
with it the rice, season with salt, cayenne
or curry, catsup, anchovy or Harvey
sauce. If sauce is used, mix well with
the rice first, and curry the same.
SLEEPS HEARTS RoAsTED.-Having
washed the hearts, stuff each with an
onion parboiled and then minced fine,
two tablespoonfuls of breadcrumbs, half
a teaspoonful of chopped or dried sage,
and sufficient black pepper and salt to
season highly. Press the stuffing we'll
into the hearts, and, if necessary, fasten
a little muslin over the top to keep it in.
While roasting basic frequently. They
may also be baked, but care must be
taken not to let them get dry. Any heart
that may be left is excellent hashed
Ported Ox-ToNGuE.-Cut about
Pound and half from an unsmoked
boiled tongue and remove the skin.
Pound it in mortar as fine as possible,
with six ounces of butter, little cay
enne, a small spoonful of pounded mace,
nutmeg and cloves, beaten fine. When
perfectly pounded and the spice well
blended with the meat, press it into small
potting pans and pour clarified butter
over the top. A little roast veal added
to the potted tongue is an Improvement
BULLoCKs LIyER.-Cut the liver in
scores and salt it with two pounds of salt
for a fortnight, then let it drain dry for
three days, then well rub in two ounces
of several kinds of spice, according to
your judgment, and all sorts of sweet
herbs chopped very fine; also good
seasoning of onions and shalots Then
hang it in dry cellar for time, and
then put il in bag for use. a small
piece is sufficient TO make gravy for
months and be useful to use in the sum.
mer.
PLUM CAKE.-Take two cups of butter,
two cups Of molasses, one cup Of sweet
milk, two eggs we'll beaten, one teaspoon
of powdered saieratus dissolved in a
little hot water, one teaspoon ground
mace or nutmeg. one teaspoon ground
allspice, tablespoon of cinnamon and a
gill Of brandy. Stir in -four to make a
batter as stiff as can be stirred easily with
a spoon, beat well until it is quite light,
then add two pounds of raisins stoned
and chopped in two, and two pounds of
currants picked, washed and dried, also
half pound of citron, shaved in thin
slices. Bake in a quick oven.
TOMATO SAUcE-Stew dozen large
tomatoes with cayenne pepper and salt,
until they become like a marmalade
Pass them through a sieve to remove the
seeds, and stir until it is of thc' consist
ency Of very thick cream Then add q
half pint Of nice broth and a little but
ter. Or if you have no broth, little
water, and an ounce and half of butter
with two tablespoonfuls of grated crack
er or bread, may be stirred in just be-
fore sending to table In seasoning the
same use very little pepper 1t will be
a nice accompaniment 10 beefsteak, or
beef a-M-mode, or cold roast beef. Cuhi-
ruf0r
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
Interesting Facts Concerning Sulphur.

SULPHUR is chemically the same as
birthstone, or q burn stone" 1t is an in
fiammable, hard brittle substance, desti-
tute of smell except when heated, and
is usually of a lemon-yellow color. The
sulphur of commerce is procured from
its natural beds or extracted from pyrites.
\ writer in the Journal IF Chemistry
states that in the year 1888 there was a
violent eruption from Mount Etna, in
Sicily, which was attended with an earth
quake, whereby 10000 persons were
destroyed. The sulphur which is now
sold in the markets of the world is said
to be largely derived from veins produced
on that memorable occasion This sui
phur is elected from the volcanoes at the
time Of their activity, and fills up vacant
spaces in the lava of frothy pumicestone
When this is quarried or mined and dug
out it forms the birthstone of commerce.
When this birthstone is melted and cast
into sticks it produces the roll sulphur
Of the shops; and when the birthstone is
boiled and its yapor is allowed to escape
into an airtight chamber the variety
called flowers of sulphur is the result.
Sulphur in its natural state is found only
in volcanic regions; but in combination
there is scarcely any substance SO univer-
sally diffused over the world II is found
not only united with all kinds Of metals
on the face of the earth, but also in
plants and animals, and is OF so much
Importance to these that they cannot
exist without it, The exquisite perfume
Of wallfowers Is a peculiar compound Of
sulphur. II a silver spoon be left in an
egg it soon becomes black; that effect
is caused by the sulphur of the egg unit
ing with the metal. A compound of sui
phur is always present in the air we
breathe and, although small in proportion
to its other constituents, yet the air is
never free from it.-Neeo York UeraM.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

PERHAPS the greatest labor the farmer
has, and especially those who raise veg
etables, is to keep the land free from
weeds. This is almost impossible with
our present system Of manuring. In
every load Of hay fed to our horses and
cattle there are thousands of seeds that
pass through the animal without being
digested, and with every load of manure
hauled from the barn and spread on the
ground we plant vast number of these
seeds and give them good hot-bed to
grow in, and then after they are grown
complain of the labor of getting rid of
them; and it is labor, and very heavy
one, too, no matter what plan we adopt
to clean them out. Some pull them out
by the roots, others hoe them out and
others pillow them under. Pulling them
up by the roots is the most effectual of
the three, but that only gets rid of one
crop; the very next manuring we give
the land We plant new crop and the
same work has to be done over again
But why should we plant these weeds
that cause so much labor and expense +?
Is there no way to avoid it, Yes, GER
tainly there is, if we are willing to take
lesson from the "Heathen Chinee"
Those who have travelled through the
agricultural districts of China tell us
that you may travel for days and days
without seeing single weed in the field
and why is thiss Simply because
they first clear the fields of weeds. and
never plant any more Their lands are
in high state OF cultivation, well ma
nured with liquid and dry manures, and
produce large crops. When barnyard
manure is used it is applied differently
from the manner Of applying it in this
country In China, barnyard manure is
put into large tanks and leached, and the
liquid only that comes from the tanks is
used as fertilizer. When all the
strength is drawn from the manure, that
which remains in the tank is thrown
away. Night-soil is treated in the same
way, and it is considered very valuable.
Dry manures, such as bones, phosphates,
guano, etc, are largely used, and as none
OF these contain the seeds of weeds there
are no weeds planted; hence there is no
wedding to be done, as nothing comes up
but the grain etc, planted or sowed. Let
our farmers and gardeners try this plan.
What if it is Heather Chinee" pfans
If it saves half the labor is it not worth
trying OF course it is. Try it then,
and we will have no more grumbling
about the heavy labor of wedding
Louisville Courter.Jour5al
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
SavIaes ~ Jesh BIIIlags.

The golden rule IL the only one l kar
taink ov just now that haz no excepshun'
to It.
It amt the man who haint got emmy
pashuns that IL the safest man, it IL the
man that haz the strongest ones, and then
subdues them.
Yung man, for heavens sake 60 slo; II
yu tap both ends ov yure slider Darrell at
once and draw out ov the bungnole be.
sides, yure slider amt going to hold out
always.
l don't kno that kontentment IL emmy
crate evidence ov happiness; the mos'
kontented persons that hav ever seen
were too stupid to enjoy what tney u'u
hav, or to banker for ennything more
The most agreeable takers are thoAe
who kan instruct us without seeming 70
kno it themself; no man really iu's 70 NC
talked into ennything.
Men often make hit in their oizzness'
a good deal az they make hit with
stone. sudden and without taking aim
A phool IL no company for himself nor
for any one else.
Mankind luvs to be cheated if they
kant git emmy boldly else to do it for
them they will do ii for themselfs.
The most diffikult persons to beat in
an argument are thoze who kno the
least.
4 true friend il he who while he extols
our virtews amt afrade to remind US ov
our vices.
4 weak man kant do ennything well.
even his vices hav no karakter in them;
Genius liz born SO, but, like the yung
eagle, haz to be lernt how to fly.
Living from hand to mouth il the most
reckless way in the world to liv; it en-
kourages idleness, begits extravakanse,
and ends in poverty.
Nj idea ov true gentleman IL one
allwus haz on klean clothes and don't
chew plug terbacker.
If yu are going to Civ man ennything
Civ il to him so that he kant tell WHARF it
cum from; don't make him git down on
hiz kneeze and kreep mp to yu.
The more W. hunt after happiness the
less w will find it; keep still, and be
thankphul for what little yu hav got,
and sum more will cum and lay her he'd
in yure lap.
Hope IL no respektor ov persons; she
phools the hi and the 10, the rich and the
poor, the loafer and the lord, all alike.
Thare IL no kind ov iniquity that God
hates and men dispize more than hypok
rasy.
The inquisitive man IL like the yung
spaniel; he hunts just az sharp after
things WHARF they amt as WHARF they
ANN. Y. Weekly.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

THE officer said he found Frank Duffy
lake sailor, rounded to in an alley. He
ranged up under his lee rail, forged
ahead and boarded the prisoner at the
bow, receiving couple Of kicks in the
stomach as he was getting out a line to
take the prisoner in tow
The prisoner said it wouldn't take him
long to repair damages, and if let of
he'd spread what canvas he had left and
head for Buffalo.
:" think, replied His Honor, ''that you
need to go into dry-dock for a thorough
overhauling. You need new topsails and
repairs to the hull, and ! notice that
your deck beams are badly sprung
There's your weather eye all closed up,
half Of your reef points gone, and there's
three feet Of whisky in the hold. You
could probably hold three feet more, but
you won't probably smell it for thirty
days to come"
Then" continued the prisoner
stretching out his arm, "may you miss
stays with breakers dead ahead!"
1t was an awful threat, and Bijah told
him that as soon as the thirty days were
out they'd arrest him on the charge q
manslaughter, and send him where Con.
cord grapes were III 8 pound during
every month"; in the year.-Detroit Free
Press
FIRM language-Convefsation between
Y1Arfnprg
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

The other day a minister offered
prayer at the laying of cornerstone.
A brisk young reporter hustled up and
said: Il" ! wish you would give me the
manuscript Of that prayer" II never
write out my prayers" replied the
preacher. Well,' said the reporter, !"
couldn't hear word you said" II
s0asn't praying 70 you," quickly responded
the parson,
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

SOUTH BosToN, May Q, 1870.

SOUTH BOSTON, May 3, $50.
H. r. STEVENS:
Dear sir-I have had considerable experience with
the NEGETISE. For Dyspepsia. General Debility and
impure blood. the FEGETINE is superior 10 anything
which have ever used. | commenced taking VEG E.
about the middle of last winter. and after using
few bottles IL entirely cured OF dyspepsia, and
my blood never was in good condition at the
present time. 1t will afford pleasure TO give
further particulars relative TO what know about this
good medicine. any who will call or address
at my residence. $50 Athens street.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

overskirt, and another piece for the
bertha. which, although not the same
pattern, will yet agree with it. For 500
Won can have an ugly, large collar OF
no;nt de rose, which no modern lady
wou,d care about wearing"
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

CHILL CURE,-SAFE AND SCRE.-Dr. Will
hofts Tonic is curative and protective. 1t will
cure Chlls and protect from further attacks.
Its reputation is established. Its composition
is simple and scientific. 1t contains no poison.
1t acts promptly and its effects are perma-
nent II is cheap, because it saves doctors
bills. 1t is harmless, speedy in action and
delightful in its effects. Try it and prove all
that's said. WHEELocK, FINLAY d Co, Pro-
prietors, New Orleans.
Fox SALE BY ALI, DRUGGIsTs
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
BEFORE SUBSCRIBING
AGENTS READ THIS /!

EVERY HOUSEHOLD CAN BE SUP
Piled WITH a BEAUTIFUL ILLUMI-
MATING GAS, BY THE KEYSTONE
SAFETY GAS MACHINE. 1T IS SIMPLE
IN CONSTRUCTION, SAFE IN OPERA
TION, AND CERTAIN IN RESULTS. FOR
INSTITUTIONS, ETC, THE KEYSTONE
APPARATUS AFFORDS THE MOST
PERFECT MEANS OF ILLUMINATION
YET DISCOVERED. PAMPHLETS AND
FULL IMPORTATION ON APPLICATION.
KEYSTONE SAFETY GAS MACHINE
CO.; j. IL. WILSON, PRES, G. II. BAKER,
SEC, III StsSOM ST. PHILADELPHIA:
10 LIBERTY ST., NEW YORK.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
Artificial Respiration.

THE new method of artificial respira-
ton brought forward as substitute for
Dir. Marshall Halls is warmly COM
mended by some of the foreign medical
journals. According to this system the
patient is laid on the ground upon his
back, his arms fully extended backward
and outward, a firm roll of clothing being
placed beneath the false ribs, SO as to
throw their anterior margin prominently
forward. The tongue being held forward
by an assistant, the operator, facing the
patient, kneels astride his abdomen, and
places both hands so that the thumbs rest
upon the anterior margin Of the false
ribs, the four fingers falling naturally
into the four corresponding intercostal
spaces on each side The elbows
OF the operator being then planted against
his sides he has but to throw himself
forward, using his knees as pivot, and
the entire weight Of his trunk is brought
to bear upon the patients false ribs. If,
at the same time, the fingers of the oper-
ator grasp and squeeze the false ribs to-
ward each other, these combined actions
crowd the false ribs upward and inward,
producing the greatest possible motion
OF the diaphragm and displacement Of
the contents of the pulmonary air-cells.
The operator then suddenly lets go, and
returns to the erect position on his knees,
when both the thrush of air and the
natural elasticity Of the ribs at this part
cause instant return to their normal
position. This, repeated with proper
rhythm and frequency, constitutes the
entire process.
Justice Bartholomew Lynch, of New
Orleans, is one Of the judicial notabili
ties OF that city. After listening to
two-hour argument by Lawyer Hagan,
the other day, he raised himself slowly
in his chair and inquired very mildly:
Are ye through, Mister Hagans" "Yes,
sir" Are ye sure you're throughg"
"Yes, sir; quite sure" "Well, sir" re.
marked Lynch, your argument has had
no more effect upon the Court than
spoonful of water on the back of duck.
There's been judgment entered up
against We for an hour or more"
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
Dyspepsia.

sYMPTOMs-Want of appetite. rising of food and
wind from the stomach acdity of the stomach heart
burn. dryness and whiteness of the tongue in the
morning. sense of distension in the stomach and
which IS occasionally interrupted by diarrhea; pale
ness OF the urine. The mouth is clammy, or has
sour or bitter taste. Other frequent symptoms are
waerbrash palptation of the heart headache and dis
orders OF the senses, seeing double, ETC. There is
general debility languor and aversion to notion de-
lection Of the spirits, disturbed sleep and frightful
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

To HAVE good health the liver must be kept
in order Sanford's Liver lnvigorator has be
come staple family medicine. Purely vege-
table-Cathartic and Tonic-for all derange-
ments Of Liver, Stomach and Bowels; clears
the complexion, cures sick headache. Shun
limitations. Try Sontord's Liger Inrigorutor.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

The Peoples Stamp of Value.-The Gov.
eminent Endorsement, which legalizes the sale OF
PLANTATION BITTERs, is not the only stamp affixed
to that famous VEGETABLE TONIC 1t bears, in add.
ton to that official sanction, the MORE yALuA
ABLE STAMP OF PUBLIC APPRECIATION. This inesti-
mable voucher of its properties as a Tonic Cor
RECEIVE and ALTERATIvE is worldwide.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

THE Narragansett Collar Company are
turning out from $1,000 to ,000-Elmwood
and Warwick Collars day. This shows their
immense popularity. If you have not worn
them, we would advise you to do so.-Nc,r
York Times.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22
AGENTS WANTED FOR THE
TRUE HISTORY
OF HE
BROOKLYN SCANDAL

rhe astounding revelations and startling disclosures
made In this work 4re eating ne most intense desire
In the minds of tho SOpe obtain it. 1t gives the
whole inner histos the Great Scandal and only
~! and authentic work the subject. 1t sells sight
Send for terms Agents and full description of the
work Address NATIONAL PUBLISHING CO., Chi
cago, ILL.,, or st. Louis, Mo.
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

Of the corn crop, and the stalks remain.
ing on the field are nowadays but
slight impeachment to the subsequent
blowing of the land Western Rural
The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1874-10-22

"A Chicago woman dipped her feetin
the Mississippi River, at st. Louis, the
other day, and the effect was noticed as
far down rs Memphis, where the. water
rose several inches. Brooklyn Arcws,