Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-08-31

An oIQ I1SQlQDou HUu30 cEu>dQ6-
a boys head and fne-tooth comb.
..Look here. Pete" said knowing
darkey. don't stand dar on de railroad
track.
why, Joe %
''Kase if de cars see dat mouf Of yeurn
dey tink it am de depot, and run rite
in"
s.fim not in mourning, said young
lady frankly to querist. '4but as the
widows are getting all the offers now-a-
days, We poor girls have to resort to
artiice."
Sing Sing oficial-If you have any
trade, prisoner, state it, and we viii put
you to work at 1t. Prisoner Gust en-
tered) Well. boss, 1 was brung up bar
tender, and I'd like to go to work at
that.
To err is human. No lives are pass
ed without errors. The best and mean
est Of Gods human creatures can, with
out great stretch Of memory. recall the
time when they got hold Of the wrong
end Of a hot poker.
How doth the busy little pig improve
each shining hour, and gather sausage
all the day from every opening flower.
And when the shades Of twilight fall,
he slumbers in his stye, or sings his
pretty evening hymn, Root, little pig,
or die"
Papa, don't you think Beech
Hush. Johnnie" ..But, papa. don't
you think Beech" Didn't YOU hear
me tell you to stop your noise2 I won't
have you talking about such things. Go
IN and get your face washed And
| Johnnie. with tears in bis eyes-so says
the CjRcgHqzdt5 ZImes-wants to know
why papa won't tell him whether beech
nuts are ripe
4 certain Sheriff, who was = eomely
young bachelor, served an attachment
on a handsome widow Madam said
he with low bow. Il have an attach
ment for you" The lady bIushed, and
hiuted that the favor was reciprocated. ?"
You don't understand me- You must
proceed to court. Il know it Is leap
year, but prefer you to do the court
ing" Madame, this is no time for trih-
ing; the Justice IS waiting" 1.-The
Justice Why, | prefer the parson =
A young lady at Norristown. put a
piece of wedding cake under her pillow,
and went to bed with the happy belize
that she would dream Of seeing her fu
ture husband. That evening, however
she had eaten two plates of ice cream
about d pint of strawberries, seyera
sweet cakes, and two large pickles, anC
she now says she would rather remain
single all her life than marry the nal
she saw in her dream.
That surprising Detroit justice remark
ed to fighter the other day: This at
fair will wrench ten-dolIar bill fron
you unless you want TO 20 up for ninet,
days. Be careful how you sling you
fists around after this. J. G. Heeua
gained something Of reputation b,
blowing his muscle up, but public opin
ion has changed If you want to
famous you must discover comet G
hang around reservoir and look GU
for breaks.
TiIton had little lamb.
/ Whose soul was white as snow,
And wheresoever Beecher went
The lamb was sure to 20.
. One day when Tiltou went abroat
He left his lamb at home.
9 But Beeeher came. stayed an hou
: And made that blessed lamb dc
, Things which she ought not have don
3 A young man was carving a goose
% a dinner table one day when by an awl
2 ward move he knocked it right into Il
Q lap Of lady who was sitting opposi
3 in all the glory Of green satin dres
9 Instead of showing his verdaney by pr
. fuse apologies and confused manne
Q he simply said, III trouble you for th
o goose, Miss Can the annals Of socie
. . furnish an example Of self-possessit
o more sublime2
o A young man last night while calliI
9 9 upon a lady on the avenue, became dee
ly Interested IN the study Of astronom
Just as he had almost succeeded IN sho'
: ing her where the new luminary va
his arm accidentally dropped aroul
her waist. She disengaged 1t with mo
force than he thought was necessar
: and sharply observed. '.Tou can't con
: over me IN that way. sir |" Singular
it may seem, that young man has Il
7 his interest IN the study Of astronomy
9 A correspondent Of the Wooasoek
y E. l. Patriot writes from . Swiss tow
K II was much amused on looking ey
or the visitors book at the inn, TO find Il
A. under the heading Occupation {
German girls had written Looking
. husband and stanza Of poetry,
|, drift Of which corresponded with {
:. cry which the ancient American A
Peck tells about IN one Of her stories
r. = '.HoW long oh Lord how long
Day by day the Brooklyn Eagle
y moves the last shadow from the repu
tion Of Mr.. Beecher, and places him
fore delighted world an innocent n;
We are glad Of t but after al "
diet Of not guilty every day for
Is. months, Is apt to create an unPleass
impression. while it may be semeWl
Observation-Disclosures CAroascEe-