The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-09-24
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house whlie shc was washing her feet, gave
her two American Tea Co. chromos and a
copy Of BaXter's Saints Rest. The last
time she had met him was the preceding
Fourth of July. Defendant took her to a
country celebration. Upon that occasion
he poured flat-iron tales into hsr ear and
soda water, root beer and sarsaparila into
her stomach.
The next witness sworn was n sore-eycd
colporteur, who remembered selling Hobbs
the ten cent catechism. He identified the
book by the first question, "What is the
chief end of MANI This testimony was
followed by the Tea Co.'S agent. who
knew all about the chromos and Baxter
street, but had never heard of any such
place as Saints Rest. The came the
youth who had dispensed the Fourth Of
July drinks. lie recognized the parties
Defendant brought plaintiff to his stand for
belly-wash thirteen times during the fore
noon. Last time around he made CON
tract with defendant to quench plaintiffs
thirst for three dollars lost twenty shl-
lings on the job. Didn't think lie could
ever forget plaintiff if he lived Us long MS
Methusaler. After the usual cross-cXami-
nation, the following correspondence was
produced and read in court:
May 18th.
My Sweet Regenerated Dew-drOp The
slippers came to-day. When | opened the
package my enthusiastic soul gave three
cheers and tiger for Samantha. The de-
sign is perfectly lovely; two potato.bugs
chasing blue bottle fly round green wa.
termelon. May kind Heaven squirt sun
shine all over your pathway, is the earnest
wish Of Your loving pastor, Hobbs.
May Both.
My Beautiful Doxology II am growing
feartully round-shouldered under the heavy
weight of affection that carry for You.
When you rag yourself out In your sunday dul-
With scolleps, n)nnceS and frills.
That figure divine II fits through my sou!
Like dose or Old Pnchbelley's pills
May you live until six o'clock millennium
morning, is the heartfelt request Of
Your spiritual ambassador, IIoBns.
June 10Th.
Lovely Tabernacle in the Flesh Next
to being born again is the pleasure of meet
| ing you face. Let me thank you in behalf
OF foreign missions for your generous do
nation. That the hoop-skirt and chemise
pattern may be humble instruments of great
good among the dying heather, is the fer
vent prayer OF
Your spiritual architect, Horns.
| July lst.
My Sweet Cedar Of Lebanon .-Th re is
~
countenance into my open window that
does not whisper of thee. AS the Israeli
ties of old hankered for the 1esh-pots Of
Egypt, so bankers my soul Tor thee.
send you as present two cakes of honey
soap; please accept and
Forget me not, forget me not,
Or shall die and 90 TO pot.
Your spiritual guardian, IoBBs.
During the reading of this correspond
ence anguish sat down on Hobbs cnunte
nance and Indignation got up and ran all
over the courtroom.
Afterward came the rebutting testimony.
Reverend Eliphalet Hobbs was called to
the stand and testified to a brief acquant-
ance with Miss Blobbs. Was her spiritual
bounty agent and drew her pensions of
grace for her. Had never blown in her
ears, looking at her feet or done anything
unbecoming a Christian or a gentleman.
During their short acquaintance plaintiff
had won his sympathies by presenting him
with pair Of slippers. two pair of red fan
mel drawers, six pen-wipers, Il box of corn
silve and pair of tweezers Plaintiff had
written to him for advice on two occasions;
once when she had burnt her front hair Off
with crimping-irons, and once when her
father had a boil on his basement The
letters that had been rca in court were
written more as specimens of penmanshp
than for the sentiment they contained.
After a rigid cross examination, several
ladies of the Antimarimonial Old Maids
HellabalOo Society voluntarily offered their
testimony, and were followed by all the
prominent pillars of the church. who testi-
fled to the good NJ raj character of their
pastoral shepherd.
The evidence all in, the respective at
| torneyS took IN the case and with the usual
accompaniment Of rhetoric, check. bonn
bast and Latin wept over it rs only lawyers
can weep. The sleepy Judge charged
twelve suspicious looking grangers and
amid the widest excitement thuse hemo.
geneous hay. seeds left the court. room,
holding in their hands the destiny for good
or i'll of two earth-bOrn seuls full of heav-
en-born aspirations. After an absence of
three weary, unrelenting hours those twelve
| freeholding apostles of Liberty returned
with measured tread and solemn, funereal
countenances. There was a hreathless awe
in that crowded court Dom. Not II wink
was heard not a boy sneczed not even
| fly lifted its tiny hoof to mar the solemn
stiffness of that awful occasion.
The Judge arose, asked for their unani-
nous verdict, gazed for q moment upon
their weathor-boalen-su dried coun e.
nances, and burst all into tears. The fore
man of that intelligent body of men stepped
forward, took handful of tobacco from the
unfathomahle abyss in his couutenance, and
bursted into tears. All. gentle reader, the
pathos of that scene has never been equaled
on this continent since Pocahontas killed
John Smith with her little hatchet. There
was not an eye in that vast assembage that
did not leak copiousy. The salt, brny
tears that flowed on that occasion leaked
through the court house floor and cornod
the prisoners in the underground cells. AZ
ter the foreman of the jury had disposed c f
the surplus water in his system he wiped his
| eyes, gazed on the griefy form ofthe Judge
and with a voice full of husks and emotion
| said
| We, the undersigned, taxpayers of this
blood bought land OF liberty, selected as
| jurymen upon this unfortunate occasion,
after mature deliberation, considerable hes-
tation and more or less trepidaton, do find
the plaintiff in this case, Susan Samantha
Blobbs, gulty of premeditated seduction
with an intent TO marry; and the defendant,
Reverend Eliphalet Hobbs, guilty OF arson,
with extenuating circumstances. And we
recommend both plaintiff and defendant TO
the clemency of this court and to the mercy
of God.
THE END.
|
The Escape of Eiikins Additional
Particulars OF the Affair.