The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-07-10

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Taxes" said Dean Swift, aFo
the inevitable consequences Of being
too fond Of g .ory."
The envious man is made gloomy
not only by his own cloud, but ~
another mans sunshine.
He that is ungrateful has no gullt
but one all other crimes may pass iof
virtues in him. Young.
A Brooklyn gill has Just rejected n
suitor because his arm wasnt long
enough TO go round her.
All the differenoe-A thief running
away is q scamp, but the Policemana
chase after him is scamper.
He who saddens at thought OF idle.
ness cannot be idle, and hes awake who
thinks himself asleep.-Redts.
Chicago has dried apple PoPula.
ton. They swell almost One-hali about
the time the city directory is PubliAhed
The farmers IN Illinois are import
ing Norman horses. The animals are
heavily built, and are specially adapted
for agricultural purposes.
Men spend their liyes in tlfo service
| of their passions instead Of employing
their passions in the service OF :heir
lives.
Our thoughts are epochs in our
| lives all else is but as journal OF the
winds that blow while We are here
! ThOredu.
As an excuse for rejecting widow
er, a fair young damsol informed
friend that she did not want "Warmed
over" man.
In this country there is n doctor 70
every 6lS of the population, while in
France and England there is only one
to every 1000. .-
Another sure indication of tho APP
proach of the croquet season-ladies
ordering CATERS n couple OF sizcs 700
small for them.
-Iuviolable fidelity, coed humorf
and complacency of temper outlive Al
the charms Of fine face, and make the
decay OF IL invisible.
A Sunday school scholar being ask
ed what became of men who deGeive
their fellow-men, promptly e1claim@n'
"They go to Europe"
-"For young woman 10 begin TO
pick lint OF young mans coat collar
Is said to be the first symptom that the
young man is in peril.
One thing is clear 10 me, that no
ual nature so much "a respectable seli-
ishness. George McDOndtd
An Illinois boy rubbed arsenic on
his teeth so that he could bite his fa-
ther in the leg and dose him when the
old man bauled him over his knee.
-"If' naughty girl should hurt
you, like a good girl, you would forglps
her, wouldn't you2" Yes, marm,
she replied, "if couldn't catch her"
Mrs. Wynkoop, a strong minded
woman, has opened real estate once
in Chicago, and not one OF the Chicago
papers has dared to call 1t hen-ooop.
"A Baltimore bride, according 10 a
reporter, wore Gala lilies in her bair.
Seven calla lilies in neat cluster ON
the top OF lady's head would LOOK wen.
-"Please, sir" said a little girl who
was sweeping crossing Tor living,
/" You have given me bad penny.
Never mind, little girl, You may keep
it for your honesty"
Honest thinkers are always stealing
from each other. Our minds are iull
of waits and estrays which we think are
our own. Innocent plagii rism turns mp
everywhere. Holmes.
1t is n law of nature that faint
luxurious countries, for We never find
that the same soil produces delicacies
and dheroes.-HorOdOtus
The amiable is the voluptuous in
expression or manner. The sense Of
pleasure in ourselves is that which ox-
cites il in others or the art OF pleasing
is TO seem pleased.
"A New York state editor, who has
been on an excursion 30 Alabama, with
a company of journalists, puts % Lou
isville against the world for Tobacco
whisky and pretty women"
Public opinion cannot 60 for virtue
what Il does for vice. IL is the essence
of yirtue TO look ab We opinion. Vice is
consistent with, and very often strength
ened by, entire subserviency 10 It.
No, sir, you are wrong. The Falls
of st. Anthony were not named after
Susan B. Anthony. They are supposed
to be 1000 years old, while she isn't
day over two hundred.
Let no young man ever permit Il 10
enter his mind that economy il mean
ness or that il is to be despised. IL is
he who saves who can afford 10 give;
and nothing is mean which Is honest,
and which goes to establish ones inde-
pendence.
A man who was seen coming out Of
a Texas newspaper Office with a split
nose. with one eve and with one ear,
explained 10 a policeman that he enter
ed the Office simply 20 inquire II the
editor was in. "And he was in, the
victim mournfully added.
Tho intellect has only one failing,
which, to be sure, is a very considerable
one,-it has no conscience. Napoleon
is the readiest Instance of this. III his
heart had borne any proportion IN his
brain, he had been one Of the greatest
men in all history.
"A man who was about 10 be hanged
in Alabama sang ioyfully as be stood
with the moose about his neck: "Oh
the bright angels are waiting for me.
Whereupon the local editor hendishly
wrote "And then the angels stirred
up the fires, and looked brighter than
ever"
ALI my own experience Of life teach
es me the contempt of cunning, not the
fear. The phrase profound cunning
has always seemed TO me a contradiction
in terms. never knew a cunning mind
which was not either shallow, or, ON
some points, diseased. Mrs Jameson.
"A little fellow, tired Of the mo-
notony Of tho school.room, began 20
amUse himself by making faces, blow
ing through his hands, etc. Az last he
aloud. who whistled 2"
" Albert Coles" answered the boy who
sat next TO him. "Come here, Albert
Coles" said the MASTER" what did
You whistle for?" MRthter, didn't
Master, he did saw him
do it. Mathter, 1 didn't, thertainly,"
iisped the little culprit, 'sit whithled
Itself"
A San Franc SEQ woman, who step
ped upon treacherous pea-pod which
Some one had thrown on the pide-walk,
is thus described "She kicked with
both feet as high as a ballet star, gave
the peculiar, shrill, feminine scrOam,
sat down said, 'Oh my smootbed
down her disordered attire, looked
round wildly, rose quickly, shook her
self TO see il anything was loose, gave
whitening glance at the place whore she
had fallen, and, with all the spare blood
she had in her face, went on with her