Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1874-07-21
The Book Canvasser.

About years ago while at dinner with
my family waz informed that thar waz .
gentleman in the parlor who must see me inn
mediately on very important Dizziness.
fastening from the table found myself
in the presence of plainly dressed, but very
nervous man, who informed me that he was
canvassing mi distrikt for the sale of Erastus
Spignot's new work entitled the Normal
Clrculashun of the Blood"
at once informed the man that I did not
want the work.
He then began a long account ov its value
and importance to every human being, when
broke in upon his elOquence by repeating
"that i did not want the book"
He continued bi telling me that no library
would be kompete without it. Again i de-
klared in the most positiff terms that did
not want the work"
At this point the stranger seated himself
in a chair, and deliberately drew the book in
question out ov his satchel, and informed mo
that no gentleman to whom he had offered it
had failed to subscribe.
Growing desperate deklared in the most
emfatik tone ''that would not hev the book
at any price,"
Rising from his chair he took oph his
overcoat, and, throwing it carclessly on the
sofa, struck an attitude, aud for ten minutes
gave the most glowing AkOunt Ov tho blood
and the anatomy ov man that ever listened
to.
81 once more assured him, in beseech>
ing manner, THAT did not want the book"
Seating himself again in the chair, aud
wiping the drops ov perspirashun from his
brow, he went back TO the days ov Adam and
Eve, and for half an hour talked ez no man
ever talked before on the various diseases the
n
a vivid recital ov the circulasbun of the
blood
Again insisted upon it that the book
would be oV use to me and that would
not hev it.
Springing from his seat with bis book in
his hand, and his eyes flashing FIRE, aud his
whole manner intense, he began TO sho me
its kontents, commencing at the title>page.
/ saw at last that it was wuss than madness
to resist any longer, so subscribed for the
book, consoling miself with the rehecshun
that if ever had book to sell miself,
would heV it sold by subskripshun.
The more think ov it am delited with
the pious suffering of the book canvasser.
He is man whom yu kant eskaph any
more than yu kan your own shaddo, he fol-
lows his victim like ghost aud hangs around
him grinning like an uukertaker.
Inc only way tn GIT RID oV him ls tn sub>
skribe at once. and let him go for the next
phelow.
The shaving sope man, and the life in
surance agent very good in their way, but
they don't kompare with the book>canvasser
for lively work any more than the pcnsive
cockroach doz to tho red>hot muskeeto.
They steal on yu like a kat on a mouse
when yu amt looking for 'em, and, like the
fV in the spiders web, the more yu try tn
git ont the further W. get in.
luv the book -canvasser now, hiz words
are like hunny in the conmb, and his logic iE
like sweet lie, and tho he may sell me book
don't want, and wont have, there is real
phun in the way that he dug it.
subskrbe now, at least once year. for
some kind ov book, that never look into,
with title to it as long as the tail Ov a kat,
just because the book canvasser IL so polite
and SO utterly impossible TO get rid ov.