Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1874-04-10
A Danbury Man Tries to Reach a Wo-
mana Pocket.

The most difficult thing to reach is a
woman's pocket. This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up in the closet
and the man in a hurry. We think We
are safe in saying that he always is in
a hurry on such an occasion. The
owner of the dress is in the sitting
room serenely engrossed in book
Having told him that the article he is
in quest is in her dress pocket in the
closet, she has discharged her whole
duty in the matter, and can afford to
feel serene. He goes at the task with
"A dim consciousness that he has been
there before, but says nothing. On o.
pening the closet door and finding HIM
self confronted by number Of dresses
all turned inside out, and presenting
a most formidable front, he hastens
back to ask switch dress ?" and being
told the brown one, and also asked If she
End Lnd ( npo arassas that there need be
~ aIrIap
he returns to the closet with alacrity
and soon has his hands on the brown
dress. 1t is inside out like the rest
a fact he does not notice, however, un-
til he has made several Intellectual at
tempts to get his hand into it. Then
he turns it around very carefully and
passes over the pocket several times
without being aware of it. A nervous
moving of his hands, and an appear
ance Of perspiration on his forehead
are perceptible. He now dives one
hand in at the back, and feeling a
round, finds place, and proceeds to
explore it, when he discovers that he
is following up the inside of lining.
The nervousness increases, also the
perspiration. He twitches the dress
on the hook, and suddenly the pocket,
white. plump, and exasperating, comes
to view. Then he sighs the relief he
feels, and is mentally grateful he did
not use any offensive expressions. 1t
is all right now. There is the pocket
in plain view-not only the inside but
the outside-and all he has to do is to
put his hand right around in the in
side and take out the article. That is
all. He can't help but smile to think
how near he was to getting mad. Then
he puts his hand around to the other
side. He does not feel the opening
He pushes little further-now he has
got it-he shoves the hand down, and
is very much surprised to see it appear
opposite his knees. Hehad made a mis-
take. He tries again; again he feels the
entrance and glides down it only to ap-
pear again as before. This makes him
open his eyes and straighten his face.
He feels Of the ou> side of the pocket,
pinches it curiously, lifts it up, shakes
it, and after peering closely about the
roots of it, he says, "By gracious and
commences again. He does it calmly
this time, because hurrying only makes
matters worse. He holds up breadth
after breadth, goes over them careful
lv, gets his hand first into lining,
then into the air again (where it al
ways surprises him, when it appears),
and finall ly into pocket, and is about
to cry out with triumph, when he dis
coveries that it is the pocket of anoth-
er dress. He is mad now; the closet
air almost stiles him; he is so nervous
he can hardly contain himself, and the
pocket looks at him so exasperatingly
that he cannot help but 'plug" it with
clenched fist, and Immediately does it.
Being somewhat relieved by this per-
formance, he has chance to look a.
round him, and sees that he has put
his foot through band-box and into
the crown of his wife's bonnet; has
broken the brim to his Panama hat,
which was hanging in the same closet,
and torn about a yard of bugle trim
ming from a new cloak. All this trou-
BILE is due directly to his wife's infatu-
ton in hanging up her dresses inside
out, he Immediately starts after her,
impetuously urging her to the closet,
excitedly and almost profanely init.
mates his doubts about there being a