Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1874-10-01
VARIETIES.

JOhn Cotton, Oh OnlO, Stole WOOu, NC
knowledged the corn, and Judge Ryt
sent him to Jail.
The proverb says. Laugh and grow
fat What saving of corn it would
be if pigs could laugh! = -
He that hath knowledge spareth his
words; but g woman keepeth still only
when sheean't help it.
Life seems great deal brighter to us
since reading that the Gar of Russia
gnaws the corn of his cob like the rest
of US.
Everything cold but the water and
everything sour but the pickles, was
the report of a guest from one of the
summer hotels.
A Pennsylvania baby is said to have
inherited the. eyes and nose Of his faith
er, but the cheek of his uncle, who is
an insurance agent.
When. one is in the act of tipping his
: hat to lady, whom he supposes to be
an acquaintance, it requires some tact
to make believe be is only scratching
his head, as he discovers the lady to be
stranger.
An inquiring man thrust his fingers
into horses mouth, to see how many
teeth he had. The horse closed his
mouth to see how many fingers the man
had The curiosity of each was fully
satisfied.
A young man at Kenosha bet two
dollars that he could take certain
mans nose between his thumb and
finger. Although the said certain man
was church deacon, the young mans
doctor bill was fourteen dollars.
An old lady with large family, liv-
ing near a river, was asked if she didn't
live in cOnstantdread that some of her
children would be drowned. 'Oh, no,
she REPLIED, we have only lost three or
four in that way
The Detroit Tribune has just moved
into Iran new stone Office, and prints
q picture of it,, wieh a man going up
stairs two steps at time, to whip the
editor, and a woman coming down
street with piece of poetry for him to
print. i1f3 ~
1t is interesting to note how ignor-
ant the watering-place Indians are of
the English language at all times eX-
cept whom sou talk money to them.
They fully understand bigh-priced En-
glish, but ignore low figures.
There is something infinitely touch
ing and solemn in the thought that a
man may be burn into this world, strut
his brief hour upon the stage, and al
last tumble into eternity without ever
having sesn the ST. Louis bridge.
One of our young girls at an exam
iuation in grammar, the other day,
when asked why the noun bachelor
was singular, blushingly answered
Because it is very singular they don't
get married. She went up to the head
of the class.
4 country paper tells this story of a
new boy inrone of the Sunday-schools
The prececious youth was asked who
made the beautiful hills about them,
and replied that he did not know, as
his parents only moved into town the
day before .'|i
An Iowa lady has presented her hus-
band with three boys and girl at
birth. He doesn't seem to enjoy the
proud eminence he occupies, and looks
like man who would just as lief "step
down and out" if he knew where to
90 to. lt8l i--ttlf, - i4ts
"Queer people, those Kansans,p says
the Cleveland Aerald. ''They get rid
Of man who borrows u horse in an
hours time, and yet it takes them over
year TO make up their minds how to
iIspose of man who buys up legis-
1t seems like a waste of time to spend
i've wears at West Point for the purpose
# acquiring the title of lieutenant,
when a boy can be called ''colonel" by
imply addressing few words to any
hirsty congregation in bar-roon.
A retired sea captain, who had made
he tour of continental Europe and the
Ioly Land was asked how he was i'm
,ressed by his visit to Jerusalem said
le. sit is the meanest place l ever visit
di There is not one drop of liquor in
he whole town fit to drink.
A New York politician, in writing a
stter of coincidence to the widow OF
ate member OF the Legislature, says: 4
annot tell you how panied l was TO
ear that your husband had gone to
ieaven. We were bosom friends, Dutt
ow we shall never meet again."
A Griffin (Ga.) paper says that their
u girl in that town with the follow
lg bona .fde baptismsl name: LOWE
nm EstelIavilIe Catalonia Desal0nda
ucrecia Borgia Neal Rabun. 1t will :
uuire Just four tickets to admit LOWE
Rabun into the :
xposition. h3 3
go to Giffin's where you
n get i ID Tea, 10 Coffee and bars T"