The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-02-25
MISCELLANY.
THE HOLE IN THE POCKET.

In this lies the secret of economy--the care
of sixpences. Many people throw them away,
without remorseor consideration-not reflect
ing that penny a day is more than three dol
lars year. We would complain loudly if
tax of that amount were laid on us but
when we come to add all that we uselessly tax
ourselves for our penny expenses, we shall
find that we waste in this way annually quite
enough to supply family with winter fuel
1t is now about year since my wife said to
me, pray, Mr.. Slackwater, have you that
half dollar about you that I gave you this
morning?o l felt in my waistcoat pocket,
and turned my parse inside out, but it was
all empty space-which is very different from
specie SO said to Mrs. Slackwater, "Ive
lost it, my dear; positively there must be
hole in my pocket!" "Pll sew it up" said
she.
An hour or two after, l met Tom Stebbins
How did that ice cream set ?" said Tom.-
" 1t set !" said | like the sun, gloriously. -
And as | spoke, it flashed upon me that my
missing half dollar had paid for three ice
creams; however, held my peace, for Mrs.
Slackwater sometimes makes remarks and
even when she assured me at breakfast next
morning that there was no hole in my pocket,
what could do but lift my brow and say,
All, isn't there? really 20
Before week had gone by, my wife, who,
like dutiful helpmate as she is always gave
me her loose change to keep, called for a rs
cent piece that had been deposited in the sub
treasury for safe keeping =" there was poor
woman at the door, she said, ''that she'd
promised it to for certain.'' "Well, wait a
in this direction, then in that, then in the
other; but vacancy returned horrid groan."
"On my soul" said l, thinking it best to
show bold 'front.' 'you must keep my pock-
ct in better repair, Mrs. Slackwater this
piece, with I know not how may more, is lost,
because some corner or seam in my plaguey
pockets is left open.'
Are you sure p" said Mrs. Slackwater.
"Sure ay, that am, it's gone t? totally
gone - My wife dismissed her promise, and
then in her quiet way, asked me to change
my pantaloons before l went out, aud to bar
all argument, laid another pair upon my
knees.
That evening, allow me to remark, gentie-
men Of the species Husbands" was very
10th to go home to tea +; had half mind to
bore some bachelor friend and when hunger
and habit in their unassuming manner, one
on each side, walking me up to the door, the
touch of the brass knob made my blood run
cold. But do not think that Mrs. Slackwater
is Tartar, my good friend, because | thus
shrunk from home the fact was that had,
while abroad, called to mind the fate of her
25 cent piece, which l had invested in smoke
that is to say, cigars and feared to think
of her comments on my pantaloons pockets.
These things went on for some months
we were poor to begin with, and grew poorer,
or, at any rate, no richer, fast. Times grew
worse and worse my pocket leaked worse
and worse /; even my pocket book was no long
er to be trusted, the rags slipped from it in a
manner most incredible to relate--as an Irish
song says:
"And such was the fate of poor Paddy OMoorc,
That his purse had the more rents as he had the
fewer" ~
AZ ichSth oHc udy my WIG cdinc III WIFI q
subscription paper for the Orphans Asylum ;
l looked at it, and sighed, and picked my
teeth, and shook my head and handed it back
! to her.
'Ncd Bowen" said she, "has put down
| ten dollars"
"The more shame to him." / replied che
can't afford it !; he can but just scrapc along
anyhow, and in these times it amt right to do
it, My wife smiled in her sad way, and took
the paper back to him that brought it.
The next morning she asked if would &c
with her and see the Bowens, and as / had no
| objections, we started.
| knew that Ned Bowen did a small bust
ness that would give him about 5000 year,
and | thought it worth while to see what the
sum would do in the way of house keeping
We were admitted by Ned, and welcomed by
Ned's wife, a very neat little body, of whom
Mrs. Slackwater had told me great deal, as
they had been schoolmates. All was as nice
as wax, and yet as substantial as iron com.
fort was written all over the room. The
evening passed, somehow or other, though
we had no refreshments, an article which We
never have at homo, but always want else