Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-12-25
Humorous Skstebss.

great object. By slipping from ono seat 20
another he soon occupied the one immedi-
ately aft of Booth. His anxiety was
great. Reaching over and touching Edwin
on the shoulder be said:
All, ehl excuse me-. sir: bat is your
name Beuth p
In has deep bu. we!l moaulafed voice
Booth replied, Yes, sir, my nanae j.
Booth
All, ch aa eh , excuse me. sir; hul
j. your name Edwin Bsuth :
Yes, sir. nv name IS Edwin Enolh.'
Really ch' ah sir; hu; YOU must
really excuse me. sir; but, all ,-eh : sir,
are you--are you a brother 10 the gctlcmu,
,rao had tie laile difficulty rdb Vr. Liaroh
a. the theatre e
I'Lttle difficulty viii so very well along
with the late 'unplc&santncss. / Western
Paper.
ANY EXcUsE.-'Now Charley, how can
you treat me so? Only two months mar,
ried and you stay out till two in the morn
ing.
Aud your fault, my dear
My fault, How =
why. YOU see. ! met 4 friend At the
club, aud explained to him what 2 dear,
accomplished women you were. The time
slipped away sc.
OF course he was forgiven. Next
night
Why, Charlie, it is three o'clock. You
did not meet any one to praise me toagain,
did you =
No; bUi this time | waited, hoping
some one would come, 50 tha. could tell
him ; and that's what kept me 50 late
Not forgiven.
A Young lady ia Paris, kentucky, re-
marked to n companion in a conversation
the other day, that she would never paint
her cheeks again before attending A ftIner-
al Why not 2 asked her friend. Be
cause, replied the young lady. 4 was
painted up when | attended Il funeral last
summer, and never wanted to cry 50 bad
IN all my life, and was getting my hauGker-
chief ready, when, glancing around at
-----, saw that coarse. yellow skin of Lers
through the tear tracks, and it looked hor-
rible. / never had such hard work to hold
my tears in since l was born. I'm done
painting for funerals
THE queerest object in nature is II Span
ish beggar-ior these besgars BEG on horse
back, and it is an odd thing 10 see a man
riding up TO poor foot passenger and ask
ing aims. A gentleman in Valparaiso,
being accosted by one of these mounted
beggars. replied. Why sir, you come to
beg Of me, who have to go on foot. while
you ride on horseback = Very true, Sir
said the bcggar, and have the more need
70 bes as have 70 support the horse IS
wei as myself
A DEAF old lady, who had brought an
action for damages agains! neiqhbor, was
being examined, when the Judge suggested
compromise, and instructed the counsel
10 ask what she would take to settle the
matter. His honor wants TO know what
YOU VIII take = asked the learned counsel.
bawling a. loud as ever he could in the old
!ady's ears. 4 thank his honor kindly
answered the ancient dame, and if it's no
Inconvenience 90 him, I'll take little
warm ale.
Two colored rneh took refuge under a
tree in violent thunder shower. Julius.
can YOU pray = said one. no, sam, was
the reply, 'nebber prayed in my life We'll,
can't you sing hymn p 10, sam. don't
know no hymn 2 Well, see heah, honey.
sumfn' 'ligious got TO be done heah mighty
sudden. S'pose you pass the contribution
box.
lT IN told or the late Judge benjamin
Tappan Of Ohio, that when he applied to
;hc Judges Of the supreme Court for ad-
mission TO the bar Of that State he was
asked the following questions, to which he
gave the answers as follows Mr.. Tap
pan, what is law 2 Answer-'An unjust
distribution Of Justice Mr.. Tappan,
what is equity?' Answer-'Au imposi-
ton upon common sense :. No other
questions were asked, and he was given a
certificate Of admission.
.goy uucb is vo,r s,i.l- oo,a,.e, :.
quired a boy Of a candy dealer on Tuesday.
six sticks for five cents, sS.y sticks for
five cents eh? now. lem. me see. Six
sticks for five cents. four for three cents
three for two cents, two for one cent, one
for no,hiu'. III take one, And he walk
Cd out, leavin" the candy man in z state Of
bowiiderment.
lam KANE. d, % ,,n,.,r..,;o,, ,u;,,.
bis Gardiner ono dow s,id .Coar~o ,ha
,fne will soo,, co,,o ,.bo,, , ro,, s5au Lo
,bro Il, c,r,.,, ,I,o ,,o,,,r, Co. -, oo,., os
land in one Of his wafslcoat pockets.- To
which The gardiner repIied. I believe il
sir. but he will be able to carry all the crop
-, his nj, l,c,. .,,ycly,t.-