Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-09-25
humorous gkrtebss.

lime II uOutS, anu may TOoPlC P"J '
debts with it.
IGNORANCE is the wet-nursc of pre-
iudicc.
WIT without sense is razor without
handle.
HALF the discomfort Of life is the result
of getting tired ourselves.
BENEvOLENCE is the cream on the milk
Of human kindness.
PEOPLE of good sence are those whose
opinions agree with ours.
FACE all things even adversely IS polite
TO mans face.
PASSION always lowers a great man, but
sometimes elevates little one.
STYLE is everything 10 sinner, and
little of it win not hurt saint.
Men nowadays are divided into slow
Christians and wide-awake sinners.
THERE are people who expect to escape
hell because Of the crowd going there.
MosT people are like eggs-too full of
themselves to hold anything else.
ITis little trouble to craven image to
be patient even in fly-time.
OLD age increases us in wisdom-and in
rheumatism.
\ MULE is bad pun on horse.
HEALTH is loan at call.
WHEAT is serial. l am glad Of il.
MANNER is great deal more attractive
than matter-especially in a monkey.
ADVERSELY TO a man is like training to
a pugilist. 1t reduces him to this fighting
weight.
PLEASURE is like treacle. Too much of
il spoilS the taste for everything.
NECESSITY is the mother Of invention,
but Patent Right is the father.
DID you ever hear a very rich man sing ?
BEWARE of the man with halfshut eyes.
He's not dreaming.
MAN was blilt after other things had
been made and pronounced good. Other
wise he would have insisted on giving his
orders as 10 the rest Of the job.
NICE fatten slowly in church. They
can't live on religion any more than minis
tcrsS
FASHION cheats the eccentric with the
cllptrap Of freedom, aud makes them serve
her in the habilaments Of the harlequin.
THERE are farmers so full of science that
they won't set gate-pOst till they have
had The earth under the gate-post analysed.
WHEN lambs get through being lambs
they become sheep. This takes the seDti-
mcnt out of them.
MONKEYS never grow any older in ex-
preston. y young monkey looks exactly
Ike his grandpapa melted up and born
again.
AN irquisitiye chap stepped into mar.
bic shop the other day, where Smith was
about completing the sculpture Of a lamb.
Did You cut that animal p asked the in
terrogati0n point o, no. said Smith,
the lamb has been there all the time. /
ONLY took the marble from around him
that's all
WESTERN JUSTICE. - 'Mariar Jane
called Bijah, o! Detroit, as he handed out
a lone woman and led her around to the
chalk mark.
And Marian was drunk, added his Hon
OF, in . sad voice 'forty-thrce years Old,
going rapidly to the grave, and yet so drunk
that you had to be hauled down here on
wheclbauow.'
'Oa hand cart, she corrected, showing
considerable interest.
Wen, there is difference between
Laud-car. and a wheelbarrow,' he went
GA: but il doesn't make any difference in
this case. IL fac. the Land-cart was the
easiest thing iu the world to draw You on,
and more small boys could gather around
il. ] will alter the complaint to make il
read 'hand-cart, and now ] want to know
what you have to say about it p
Tears came to her eyes, her corset gave
a heaye or two, and she whispered, I
wanted to go TO the circus p
All, that touches II tender chord, sigh
Cd the court, as he leaned back and lis
tened TO the music of the brass band
floating OH the early morning air, and saw
in Imagination the trick mule, the elephant
and The rhinoceros ambling around the saw
dust Ting-admission fifty cents.
Marian Z he said, at last, in 4 changed
voice, you'll die in three or four years any
how, and perhaps its just as well to let you
20 10 the circus as to send you to the work
house Mayhap the growl Of the sea-ion,
the snorl Of the tiger, the warble Of the Os-
trich, and the gymnastic eXercices Of the
monkeys, together with the stirring air Of
odd Dan Tucker, as rendered by the band,
may put thoughts Of reformation into your
head. Go, aged female, and remember it's
fifty cents saved every time one crawls I'M
der thc canvass. i Detroh FTcc Press
PA, who is Many Voters p asked
young hopeful Of his sire. Don't know
him, my son. Why?' Cos, / seen you sighin'
his name to that letter you got the other
night askin' you to run for alderman
'Sb-h-h, my son here's nickle, 60 and
get some candy
4 DRUNKEN fellow who had slept in the
horse pound at camp, walked up in the
morning TO find himself battered and pro-
prielur demadiug pay for his oats. The
fellow protested, saying he was rot a horse.
no difference, was the reply, we charge
as much for an ass as a horse
4 CONFIDENCE man approached a
stranger in Park Row, addressing him as
Mr.. Wardell. My name is not Wardell,
said the stranger. rs it possible am mis-
taken Are you not Mr. Wardell, of New
Haven ? lam not, answered the stranger
u am Tom Collins