The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-06-11

m1sOellauooI1S- Z
Venison-though lost to sight, to mem
ory dear.
That genius must be Of a startling order
which makes bed spring.
The spanking period is appropriately
called the palmy days of childhood.
Carpenters are not particular about their
food. They are used to boarding houses.
Laws, like sausages, would fail to in
spire respect if all people knew how they
were made.
Anything Midas touched was turned to
gold. In these days, touch man with
gold and he will turn into anything.
An accomplished optician- suggests to
the opponents of corporeal punishment
that the place for pupils i7 under the
ash.
A fellow writes to ns 10 know "are ba-
bies ever kidnapped when they are cribb-
ed2P We give itup, but wish they were
A Yankee wanted the Bridge of Sighs /.
pointed out TO him, and then offered to
bet America had several bridges twice the
size. --I --f
/ A small town in kentucky has devel-
/ oped a queer specimen of the genus homo
/ in the form of a facetious dentist, who ad-
vertises that he will pull teeth without
pain to the operator, and with very little
to the bystander I" ta1
.'How's business nowe' inquired one
Nashville merchant OF another, recently.
"Dull, fearfully dull, !" was the reply. "The
fact is, nobody buys anything Just now
but provisions and whisky-The bare nee
essaries of life, as it were. 49,
1t has been determined in Iowa that mo
true gentleman will fix trap gun IN his
corn crib, and thus be the means of send
ing some unprepaed soul into eternity"
but, on the other hand, a, corn crib has
certein rights which must be respected.
The Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
. having lost all faith in Weston since his
lat failure, declares that "atter all, the
= most famous walker of the period Is DIR.
: Man" 1t should have said TO the other
= fellow, go on West" Or HGo West on,
: young man" D. s.-ll 1s,s.rrF
e The BratnSaUicker, Of Missouri says !:
Y "There is an undefnable somethinE about
y some men which commands our respect
IS whether we see them heading q cCnQuer-
b ing squadron, leading a child to the sane
tuary, or bending IN lowly tell over an
e onion bed" 81 --.r
n IL is said that President Graut the other
IS day remarked that he consoled himself
N for the temporary loss Of Miss Nellie be-
te cause she had promised to visit him often
'r "What do you call often7" be was asked
"Oblp he replied -"twice year. and stay
six months at time"
A keen witted servant girl IN Troy, New
York, told the milknIah the other dal
~ that he gave his cows too much sals
= "How do You know that n said lacteal -ist
ie "Sure, KIN tell by the milk that thel
3 dhrink too much wather entireiyl" SAT-
y the girl. The milkman drove OF in
= hurry. , la- tl
- - A boy, six years old, having been uaucl
4 lectured by his father on the babyishnes {
We crying when any calamity happenes
rr cheered the paternal heart, the other morn
VI ing, by saying: Harry Bolton cried near
ly all day cause his father died, but iE yo
should die. pa, wouldn.t ersaa bit'7
xt A literal minded youngstef was pieke
'se up 10y visitor Of the family, who, dan
nd ding him on his knee, said: Il wish
ke had this little boy; ! think there's none
; a in him" To which promptly replied III
th child: | know there is, for , swallowed
cent when ! was at grandi1a's the 9TH
las day"
;as .sl Ayoung lady in San Jose, CAL, about
II" month ago secretly married theman Of b
choice, and then went night along attenC
ing 10 her business as II nothing haa haI
snt pened. But the other day 5ne R
the couple concluded to pubIish theLs
Na-lin the z1FereassE and th q ols iilan saH
e is lShowi5gs the notice to his .SanQhieG,
! in sternly demSnasa, hat d6ea q Enea.
an Is it Joke, d aria Jane. 7r IL Fs SlIly
ble kThe daughter raised ahef f her Is
} SO suflused with bushss am ~ ed, 9 J
i've father, tits Joke on Won FaP Old mi
weakened. eta