The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-03-05
FACTS AND FANCIES.

"A certain man has q watch which
he says has gained enough to pay for
itself In six months.
No matter how amiable q young
lady may be, fashion now demands
that she shall appear rulied In public.
why Is o selfish friend like the
letter Pr Because, though he Is the
iirst In pity, he Is the last In help.
A Georgia convict was hanged
recently for killing the wrong man.
The right one witnessed the cere-
mony.
"A man out west was lately
astonished by an invitation to the
wedding of his father and mother.
They have been divorced.
"A New York professor is lectur-
ing on the cultivation Of the ear. he
doesn't say when 1t Is the best time
10 pull It.
-"We all owe something to our
country" said the BritOn who went
abroad without having paid his in
come tax.
-Waynesboro, Penn, boasts of a
haunted distillery which Is just the
place where one would naturally look
for spirits.
If a railroad train that Is run
into by another Is telescoped, a man
who Is run into by wild young OK
must be stereOscoped.
Two pairs of stairs are necessary
to every newspaper office in North
CarOlina-one for the editor to 60
down as the caller comes up the other.
AT recent dinner of shOemak-
ers the following toast was given {:
May we have all the women In the
country to shoe and all the men to
boot"
"A West Troy policeman resigned
because he couldn't get permission to
attend a dog fight and bet on the
winning pup. Americans never will
be slaves.
Nothing better illustrates the down
hill tendency of American youths
than the fact that one company al
Montpelier sold IL 900 sleds for chill.
dren last winter.
They say that the American ma
ton Is not jOvial and hilarious, but i
you want to disprove 1t, just sliI
down on the icy pavement where the
crowd Is the thickest.
Leigh Hunt was asked by lady
If he would not venture upon an or
ange. "Madam," he replied, 1 should
be happy to do so, but 1 am afraid
should tumble off,"
=" Jack" said a man to lad JUS
entering his teens, "your father Il
young hopeful, "and he's got my
jack-knife In his pocket"
-"What makes you feel uncom
Portable when you have done wrong p
asked teacher who was lecturin|
her pupils on conscience. "My
fathers leather strap" answered th'
boy.
"A young man employed in ,
cotton factory at Hyde Park, Mass.
Is so popular with the sex that wher
he was convicted of being drunk, TIT
girls in the mill took up collection
and paid his fine.
"A happy misquotatiOn by yOunl
lady whose gentleman caller strayet
too late, caused speedy gOod-by
The clock struck twelve, and she re
marked, "NOw Is the witching hou
of night, when people yawn."
An old bachelor said: "There'
more jewelry worn nowadays thar
when was young, but there's on,
piece always admired which dom
often see now" "What Is that p
asked young lady. IA thimble,
was the reply.
Retributive Justice sometime
follows faster than we could expect
An evil-minded Brooklyn boy pro
PEELED a snow ball at his aunt las
Saturday morning, and lodging int,
a neighbOring area sat down on
scuttle full of hot ashes.
1t isn't always best to call thing
by their right names. A young gen
tleman called a coach dog a Dalma
tian hound, and was informed by hi
.fancee that If he could not refrain
from profanity in her presence the.
must henceforth be strangers.
=" Doctor" said a lady to he
physician, "don't you think tn,
bOnnets the ladies wear now-a-day
have a tendency to produce cOnges
ton of the brain?" No, madam
when you see one of those bOnnets
there are no brains to longest"