Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1874-07-03
VOL. XIX.--NO. 40.


Mr. CooLEY's HAT.- When Mr.. Coo
ley camo into church last Sunday he
placed his new hat just outside the pew
in the aisle Presently Mrs Pitman
entered, and MS she proceeded up the
aisle her Astounding skirts scooped Coo
ley's hat and rolled it up nearly to
the pulpit Cooley pursued his hat with
feelings Of Indignation, and when Mrs.
Pitman took her seat he walked back
brushing his hat with his sleeve A few
moments later Mrs Hopkins came into
church, aud as Cooley had again placed
his hat in the aisle, Mrs Hopkins skirts
struck itand swept il along about twenty
feet, and left it lying on the carpet in a
demoralized condition Cooley was sing
ing a hymn at the time. and he didn't
miss il. But moment later, when be
looked over the end Of the pow to see if
i was safe he was furious to perceive
that it was gone. lie skirmishcd up the
aisle after it again, red in the face, and
uttcriug sentences which were horribly
out Of placein the sanctuary. However,
he put the hat down aguin and determine
ed to keep his eye on it, but just as be
had turned his head away for moment
Mrs Smiley came IN, and Cooley around
in time to watch the hat being gathered
in under Mrs Smiley's skirts and carried
away by them lie started in pursuit,
and Just as he did 50 the hat must have
rolled against Mrs. Smiley's ankles, for
she gave Jump and screamed right out
in church Whom her husband asked
her what was the matter she said there
must be dog under her dress, and she
gave her skirts twist. Out rolled Coo-
ley's hat, and Mrs Smiley, being very
near-sightcd thought it was dog. and
Immediately kicked it so sayagely that it
few up into fhe gallery and lodged upon
the topo the organ. Cooley, perfectly
frantic with rage, forgot where he was.
and holding his clenched fist under Smi-
ley's nose, be shrieked ''Pye halfa mind
to bust you over the smooth Then be
flung down his hymn-bool and rushed
from the church. lie went home bare
headed, and the sexton brought bis hui
initiating hat around after dinner. After
this Cooley intends to 90 To Quaker meet
ing, where be can say his prayers with
his hat on his head lHac 4eteier.
A RnNAnNApLE MAN The boys who
have found the mysteries of mathematics
II terribly tough subject to grapple with
viii envy a Missouri rustic who grasps
by intuition all tho rules Of arithmetic
II 1,,e,tr;,.t;a ~ ~, ,,,nnvnIlo,,c .,,a,,
given by correspondent of the St. Louis
Republican, it is stated that he cannot
read or write q letter or figure, and never
had days education Ha cannot cx-
plain the method by which he solves the
most intricate mathematical problems,
except that he has n numeration table
which is away beyond the books -
The correspondent who interviewed him
gave him some very neutrality-suspicious.
such as might have puzzled the most
learned arithmetieians- and he gave the
correct answers almost in a moment
When problem that has never been
answered was presented to him; he said
at once. II can't be told This queer
genius is rude and illiterate; he travels
around the country fixing up the accounts
Of tax collectors, farmers and dealers A
wholesale firm in Kansas City sent for
him to adjust their books, and lie did in
one day an amount Of work that ten
clerks could not have done Hercfuscs
to take The school education that has been
offered bin, saying that il he could read
and write he would know 10 more than
any other man