Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-08-21
wRETCHED WRITER'S.
ChirOgraphicas and HierOgIyphIcal
CuriOstties.

nary was Mr.. Bell, a cripple, who had
great difficulty in putting his ideas into
speech, and had succeeded in hitting
upon three different methods, all equally
original, Of putting them upon paper
one being ineligible to himself but
worse than Greek to his clerk; another
which his clerk could, but he himself
could not decipher and a third, which
he, his clerk, nor any one else, could
comprehend. 1t seems almost too alb
surd that a man should be unable to read
his own writing, however bad it may be;
but printer employed in a London
newspaper office tells us he has more
than once applied vainly to living nov
elist for an elucidation of his mysterious
hieroglyphics. We dare say DR.. Parr
VANITY RECEIVED SHOCK
when Sir William Jones wrote: Your
English and Latin characters are so
badly formed that | have infinite diff
Guilty to read your letters, and have
abandoned all hope of deciphering many
of them. Your Greek is wholly illegi-
BILE; it is perfect algebra" Archdeacon
Coxe's handwriting was described as
something that could not to be called
hand or fist, but foot and club one,
too, producing tangled skein that ran
across the paper in knots, which was i'm
possible to unite into a meaning; and
Napoleon had so little mastery over his
pen that his letters from Germany to
Josephine were at first sight taken for
rough maps of the seat Of war Doug
las Jerrold and Captain Marryat were
almost capable of rivaling the feats of
Peter Beals as microscopic writer's, the
Captain attaining such perfection that
way that before his manuscript could be
handed over to the printers it was requi-
site to have It copied in a fashion
adapted for ordinary eyesight; and then
the copyist, whenever he rested from
his labor, was obliged to stick a pin
where he left off, lest he should never
find the place again.
Horace Greeley's copy " was con-
tinuous
STRING OF RIDDLES
for the unfortunate compositors engaged
on the paper of which he was proprietor,
riddles they often solved in a way not
exactly conducive to the proprietor
serenity. When, in exposing some Con-
gressional malpractices, Greeley wrote:
" Tis true, tbs pity aud pity tbs, tbs true,
the familiar quotation appeared in the
un-Shakspearean guise, "'Tis two, tbs
fifty, and fifty tbs, tbs fvel" A leader
upon William H. Seward came forth
headed Richard the Third" When he
alluded to certain electors as "freemen
in buckram," the printer turned them
into three men in back ROOM" These,
under the circumstances, excusable de-
linquincies were capped by the painter
of the New York Tribune bulletins.
Having received a notice in the well
known but ever unintelligible hierogly.
phics intended to inform the public that
they must seek Entrance on Spruce
street" after some hours hard study
and cogtation, the puzzled man of the
brush, in sheer desperation, dashed off
in large letters, Editors on Spree"
and posted the extraordinary announce
ment on the front of the Tribune Office.
II Horace's own people we're thus Sc
verely exercised, one can family imagine
how his
Writing to decline an invitation to
lecture, he said: Il am overworked
and grown old; l shall be sixty next
February 3 On the whole, it seems
must decline to lecture henceforth, ex
cept in this immediate vicinity, if do
at all. cannot promise to visit Illinois
on that errand, certainly not now"
Rather to his surprise he received the
following reply: Dear Sir-Your ac-
ceptance to lecture before our associa.
ton next winter came to band this morn
ing. Your penmanship not being the
plainest, it took some time to translate
il, but we succeeded, and would say your
time, February 3, and terms $50, are en-
tirely satisfactory. As you suggest, we
may be able to get other engagements
in the immediate vicinity; if so, we will
advise you" Considering that he
scoRNED TO MAKE ANY DISTINCTION
between S, a and ?, and treated b, p and
h as identical in form, it is no wonder
the sage's letters were liable to be sent
anywhere but where he wished them
to go.
One morning tie Tribune startled its
readers with philippe against careless
postoffice officials winding up with the
statement that it took four days for a
letter to 90 from New York to Chappa-
qua, some thirty miles. Mr.. Kelly at
once sent ts Chappaqua for the envelope
of the delayed letter 1t was one OF
Horaees own, suggesting somewhat
the same intellectual speculation that
wo-ld result from studying the foot
prints OF gigantic spider that had, after
wading knee deep in ink, retreated has
tily across the paper. No clerk in the
postoffice could read the address, not
even the chief Of the bureau Of hards "
-" American for our blind men," That
official, however, recognized the envel-
one directly his superior showed it to
him. This thing" said he, came to
me some days ago, along with other
hards. studied it at my leisure for
whole day, but could not make it out. l
showed it to our best expert, but what
the writing, if writing it was, meant, was
conundrum we all gave up. Finally,
in desperation, it was suggested as last
resource, to send it to Chappaqua, which
happened to be right.