The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-11-14
WIT AND WISDOM.

In Paris kid gloves are now being made
out Of tripe aud the skin Of the stomach.
Some old topCrs we know of may yet be
made useful.
When girl at Iowa Contre, Iowa, be-
comes q mother before she quits being n
maid, the people there all hasten TO make
atfidavits to the tune Of, Lord, it is not
" Who said it was
A New Jersey clergyman says there are
about twenty different kinds Of religion,
but a man who won't wash and shave aud
put on clean SHIRTS can't enjoy any Of
them.
A sensitive friend or the tooth ache are
one or the other the most trouble, and it il
not easy to decide which. Elm OrLvW.
Seventy ministers of the gospel, of one
denomination and another, returned to
this country from Europe last week in the
steamship England, Of the National Line.
| Fortunately the passengers knew what they
were, and all landed safely
A minister approached a mischievous
urchin about twelve years old, and, laying
his hand upon his shoulder, thus addressed
him MY son, believe the devil has
got hold Of YOU" 81 believe be has. too"
was the significant reply of the urchin-
A school boy spelled sob" and then
a, fined it thus " II means when TELLER
don't want to cry and it bursts out itself
The schoolmaster should visit Carmine
street in this city and take office of q
firm whose new sign gives notice that other
persons . formally carried on business on
that spot"
If you say to yourself, To-day mean
TO be happy it ia a rash uronise. % haatE
project. But, II We say 10 morrow /
mean to give some one pleasure, IL is an
amiable intention, which will rarely de-
ceive your hopes. Such conduct is gener-
Gus and delicate in the extreme, and can
not fail 70 bear good fruit.
Dress.-Says an acute observer, Trust
me, kind reader, that good clothes are cal
culated to advance a man in life nearly as
we'll as good principles, especially in a
world like this, where external appearance
is taken as the exponent Of what is beneath
it,"
PRIVATE PROPERTY. Not lOng aga sn
officer Cf the London School Board wAn
NAOshlAk 1nNGuA 1dEuEA AZ a 1dLC nOuT,
when he found htlle fellow making his
bed for the night in a fruit basket
Would you like to ~ to school and be
cared for ~ asked the official
mo, replied the urchin.
But do you know that / am one u the
people who are authorized to take up little
boys whom | find as | tind you ~
Il know you are, old cnap, II you find
hnp mt hsa
ty, and if YOU interferes with my liberty
the Duke Of Bedford will be dowr upon
you. ! know the hack as well as you.
How much is your stick candy n in
quired a boy of candy dealer on Tuesday.
: Six sticks for tve cents SIX sticks
for five cents, eh. Now, lem'lne see;
SIX sticks fer i've cents, tive fer four cents,
four Ter three cents, three fer two cents,
two fer one cent, one fer nothin' I'LL
take one, and he walked out, leaving the
csndy man i'm state OF bewilderment
which lasted three days.
The proverbial quickness Of Irish wit is
illustrated by an aneedute related by
Captain A While on the Peninsula.
during the War, he came across a private
belonging to one Of the most predatory
companies Of the Irish brigade, with the
lifeless bodies of goose ana hen tied ~
gether by the heels, dangling from his
musket. here aha you steal those.
you rascal r. be demanded. Faith, | was
marching along wild Culur-Sergeant Mag
uIre, ana the gOcse-had cess 10 lt-came
ont and Missed the American flag. y. But
the hen, sir how about the hen III "It's
the hin, y Il The hin, bless ye, was in
bad company, and laying eggs for ths
rebels
Not having been sufficiently thrashed
when boy, Robert T. johnson now writes
to his mother:
Herewith, my dear mother,
send you some b rch In
Return for the other
got VIXEN urchin
You can can now see, at your wye
What the difference IL
From that came blue ridge
From the us Ridge came tins