Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-03-28
GRANGE SECRETS REVEALED.
The Ceremony Of Initiation-How the
Applicant Is Initiated. sr


The Randolph Enterprise, publish
| ed up in Ohio, gives the following ae.
count of the Grangers' initiatory cere.
mony:
/ On being broughtinto the heante-room
of the lodge (Greengrocer Temple, No
101.) [ was told that | had been bal
loted for and accepted. My informant,
who was masked withwhat | afterward
learned was large burdock leaf, per-
forated with holes for the eyes, told
me that if | valued my life it would
be necessary for me to strip. As i did
consider that of considerable worth to
me, and as he italicized his wishes by
carelessly playing with seventy shoot
er, | withdrew from my garments with
eagerness. My masked friend then
furnished me with the. regalia of the
first degree-called The Festive
Plowboy" consisted merely of
one large cabbage leaf attached to a
waist-band of potato vines. In this
airy castume | was conducted to the
door, where my companion gave three
distinct raps. Qwas surely blindfold-
ed by binding piece of rutabaga over
each eye.) A sepulehral voice from
within asked Who comes ?"
My guide answered; "A youthful
agriculturalist who desires to become
a granger
Sepulchral Voice-Have you looked
him carefully over? ~
Guide,-I have, noble gate-keeper.
s. V.-Do you find any agricultural
marks about his person?
Guide-I do. EGk
s. V.-What are they?7 ..q-.r Il
@ Guide-The candidate has carroty
hair, reddish whiskers, and turnup
nose.
s. Wis we'll. Why do You de-
sire to become a granger? "a h,
Guide-(answering for candidateGI
That l may be thereby the better able
to harrow up the feelings of rascally
politicians. ae 81. fd
s. V.-You will bring in the candi-
date. Ny worthy stripping, as yeu
cannot see, / will cause you to feel that
you are received at the door on the
points of pitchfork, piercing the re-
gion of the stomach, which is to teach
you the three great yirtues--faith, hope |
and charity. Faith in yourself. hope !
for cheaper farm machinery, and char |
ty for the lightning rod peddler. You
will now be harnessed and in represen-
tation of the horse, Pegasus, will be |
tested as to endurance and wind.
The candidate is here attached to a
small imitation pillow, by means of a
hempen harness. A dried pumpkin |
vine is put in his mouth for bit |
and bridle--he is made to get down |
upon all fours, the guide seizes the |
bridle, and urged on by granger |
armed with a Canada thistle, which
he vigorously applies at the terminus !
Of the spine, the candidate is gallop-
I'd three times around the room.
While making the circuit the mem /
bers arise and sing 7a -.es !
Get mp and dust, you bully boy -
Who wouldn't be granger? I
If the thistle's prick don't cause you joy,
To feeling you're stranger. -
After this violent exercise he is rub /
bed dry with corn-cobs, beeswaxed
where thistled, and brought standing I
lp before the great ehief-the most
pumkin head. s
NJ. W. z. H.--Why do you desire |
10 be a granger?
Candidate-ta answering for himself) /
That | may learn to extinguish sew
ng machine agents. 81 Ta
NJ. W. P. H.-Have your hands
been hardened with toll ID -,, ..-s.
Candidate-Not extensively, but
hen am not running for Office.
NJ. w. p. HTS we'll, for our
odges contain several who are 50 p
posed to be ready to sacrifice theLa-
selves for the good of their constitu-
,nts. Do you feel pretty smart this
evening?
-Gandidate-"Yes, where the hustle
,oes on.
NJ. W. P. H.-(savagely)-Give me
ehaw of tobackerl
Candidate searching himself thor
,ughly, but as there is no place about
lim to stick a pocket, tries to explain,
,ut the most wOrshipful pumpkin-head
Interrupts him:
Never mind, my dear young friend, |
am well aware that in your present
you can no more furnish
our friends with the weed than Adam
.ould be comfortable in a plug hatand
light boots. 1t is merely to teach you
he great lesson of econOmy-doiDg to
,thers as you would like to have them
10 to you. You willnow be conducted
% the most eminent squash producer,
Who will teach you the grand hailing
ign of distress. The sign, my dear
brother, will insure you against many
# the ills of the agriculturlst-among
,thers, against droughts and being bit
~ the ferocious grasshopper.
The candidate is now conducted to
he most eminent squash producer, who
hus says: My worthy brother, / will
low invest you with the order of the
estiye ploughboy, which you have well
yOn by your heroic achievement while
may you ever wear it with
pleasure to yourself and may it be
means of terror to your enemies.
The NJ. f. $. p. then proceeds to
invest the candidate with the regalia
# the Festive Ploughboy, which con-
lists of a tomato necklace THE
,rand hailing sign of distress is made
~ gently closing the left eye, laying
he right fore-fnger alongside the nose,
md violently wagging the ears. 1t re-
Iuires practice, but the advantages are
intense. 1t also has an important sig
which you will do well to
reed. The closing of the eye signifies
hat in all your dealings with mankind
vou are bound to have an eye to busi-
less. Laying the finger alongside the
lose is emblematieal Of wisdom,
md places you at once among the
showing ones. This is extremely /
landy in prognOstieating new weather,
md saves the wear and tear of the al
nanacs. Wagging the ears signifies
of purpose, as is thought to
De emblematic of 'childhood's happy
hours. 1t is also supposed by some
profound scholars TO have distinct
'eference to apple-dumplings, but this ,
act is somewhat obscure by the dust
IF ages. In token that you are one of
Is, you will now be branded. This
ceremony is impressive and consists of
wo brands. They are both applied
while the iron is hot, and consists of
me letter of the alphabet each. The
irst is a letter S, on which you will
please sit while the other letter is ap-
,lied to the stomach. The letter s.,
ny worthy chicken, signifies scoOped,
md refers to railroad monopolies The
eeond letter is c, and is applied, as l
aid before, to the stomach. 1t has