The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-03-26
s IMPROPER NAM ES. !

taken upon themselves the characters,
features and compilations which belong
to them Ifthis were to become the GUS
tom, lanes would mesn something, and
one could guess what manner Of man he
should meet when he WAS promised an in
troduc'lon to Solomon Smith. Now, ten
to one, Sololh0n. INSTEAD Of being one of
the wisest ofeMen, lturns out To be very
insignificant person, w tn little more
wisdom than re requires for the eating OF
his three meals q day and taking his
proper repose at night.
Blanche and Lilly, instead Of being fair
and graceful, are two muddy looking
brunettes; Augusta, instead of being august
and imperial, is little thing who comes
just up to your elbow; and a Tiny / knew
probably baptized Christina, but Tiny,
even on her cards-was nearly six feet III
height, and broad in proportion.
d Moses, the nj elk, is arrested and bound
over to keep the peace toward his neigh
DOR Samson-a Cclored gentls man, who
con esses, in open court that he "neve'
Was strong enough to fight nobody" Aud
Faith eopes from her husband, with all
MS goods and cnattes
Charity Jones is the ,miserly old lady
" ho lives alone ID the little house yonuer,
aud would not give u beggar mouloy
crust; and ;here is police record OF one
Prebity Black, who was - receiver of
stolen goods. EAT
Rose came begging to The door with
whlskyti eu breath the other day--a most
uutragrant Rose, who certainly cJuid not
have sn.elt less sweet by any other name.
| And Olive Is as fair "a blonde as ever
curlsd her golden hair; while a lady, rash
~ chrlStened Dove il her meek babyhood,
has been known to take her husband nv
the hair and imprint the impression OF
1er five sharp nails on his cheeks, on one
occasion. AA& &84 3#5 6n
| Somehow, one expects more of an AIDES
laide and Maud, a Dora and an Estela,
IN the way of charms, than they do Of
more plainly named ladies; and when
happy parents name their son George
Washington, they ought to take pans TO
bling him up accordingly. However
people will make mistakes, and the pa
rents of celt,in gentleman. cnce resid>
lag in Newport, provided against mauy
emergencies when they christened him
julius Cesar Hector Toby Slas Downing;
which name he used to below at length
outside his house door OH occasions OF
staying cut late and being in his cups.
crying out, sit is me, julius Cesar Hector
Toby Silas Downing --lemme in or I'll
kick you .''~cafa- ta~ -9g
One mother, not deeply read, but ro-
mantle, named her little boy baby Loih-
ario, his last name being Gay. Howe yer,
he turnea QUITO be one of the most *
emplary of men in hls domestic relations,
hough he looked badly in the directory
of his natv e city, where he was rec rded
as Gay Lotharlo, and was no more affect
ed by his name than the old colored man,
whose master had named him Biblio, but
who never learnt how to read in all his
life, was by lis name.
People accideutly give improper names
20 children s>metimes. It was the grief
OF certain poor washer woman's life that
her little girl was named Andrew Jack
son, but she couldn't help it. She lisped
drea1fully, and when she carr ed the
babe to Ler clergyman to lave it baptized,
and he asked her. as usual, lis lame, she
meaning TO cali it after its grandmother,
Lucy, whlspered n.
W4uthy, )thir" 2aEr T bn
To which the clergyman replied, In an
indignant whisper: IN
"Lnciter! Luciter Shocking! I'll name
aaRl
10 child after the evil one I'll name
him Andrew Jackson!" ~
And Andrew Jackson the girl became
in consequence, People cart helpgsuch
hi gs. but they ought to think before
they, chrlsteng two brothers. whose. lives
,Iafeitp be 4 perpetual lawsuit against
tieaehaother iaregard1 to their greatsgrand
!, tat hers property, Damon and Pythias. v. N
4 ,agsllyVe@ Ha ats MARY KYLE DALLAS. j
u - - A-----. . . - .i}
/, EseTg1gv8 HOW 70 GET PASSES. a.a +.