The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-11-06
UNFORTUNATE MARRIAGES.
Read Before the Tennessee Phil
OsOphicaI society, Columbia AGhe-
nRunI, by Wy. 7. Ussery.

paradise, the sacred seat of innocenct
and bliss, where fragrant flowers sen
forth their rich perfume on every pass
ing breeze. In this State of primitive
purity, God conferred this institution
upon man as his browning comfort
Being thus divine in its origin, it is
subject to divine law; and like other
divine institutions was designed fOl
mans happiness. But when an institu>
ton is perverted it proves a curse
rather than blessing. Marriage then
| is blissful, if in accordance with the
laws given for its government; but
baneful and bitter if said laws are not
observed. When matrimonial unions
are made at random and without clear
| ly comprehending the character of the
compact. it is purely accidental if a
happy and fortunate one is secured.
| And inaSmuch as there is 30 little
| generalization, and such gross ignor-
ance in regard to the prerequisites 70 q
| judicious marriage, we may safely con-
| clude that there are comparatively few
who have reached the acme of cOnnubi-
al bliss. But if all the results of mar
ried life could be read we would readily
pronounce that the majority of mar
| riages are unfortunate. l will proceed
| to point out some of the causes, and
portray some of the results OF iCRfOTtat-
nate marriages.
l. First, LoUe is the leading law Of
marriage, and the bonds of matrimOny
are mere myth unloSS cOmented by
sound affection. BY the term love, l
do not mean mere mutual regard for
each other, but such as will induce each
party to desire the happiness of the
other in preference to disqualification.
II such be not the condition of the par
ties their future is traught with much
bitterness. Higher happiness is enjoys
ed by self-denial for those whom we
truly love, than from self-indulgence.
So important is this principle as a basis
of marriage union, that we are not left
to conjecture in reference to it's intensi-
ty. 1t is proclaimed in holy writ, Let
every one OF yOu in particular so love
his wife even as himself" Again it is
said, Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ loved the church, and gave
himself for it, Then as Christ loved
and gave himself for the church, so
should one who proposes to unite in
wedlock, love and be willing to give
him or herself for the other. This be-
ing the only true basis upon which to
found the matrimonial union, and upon
which to predicate hope of cOnnubial
happiness, they who enter this state
without previous love hazard their
future earthly bliss. L say precious
love, because if love does not exist prior
subsequently,; and be it remembered
there is no substitute for this heaven
born principle. Thousands are living
miserable who are strangers to strong
personal love, but have united from
some sinister motive, hoping to pro-
create this principle in after life. Thus
they have made mere nominal union,
but there can be no real amaigamatiOn
without pure personal affinity. SGCh
he tpTmp6 fpgrt5J7ygyfo Jyln1'J'jHy9S
2. Another violation OF the law of
marriage is 1J1IjO71 IN consequently. |
All who are guilty OF this perversiOn
realize that 1.-THE way of transgressCr
is hard" The Hebrew law Of marriage
forbade the union Of persons of certain
degrees OF c0nsanguinity. This was a
wise restriction, and is of vast moment
in these degenerate days in promoting
health of body and vigor of mind.
There is nothing in the range of cause
and effect more manifest than that
marrying blood relations produces i'm
becility of body and insanity of mind.
Without enlarging upon this point, let
il suffice 10 say that it is sufficiently
agreed among the learned that inter
marriages among relstives produces
both physical and mental defects in the
offspring. It is the accredited report
that asylumS are occupied priuciply
by patients who are the children Of
parents related to each other by the
laws Of cons tnguinity.
3. The next consideration involving
an unfortunate matrimonial union is
that of premature marriages. The ad
VOcates of early marriages can adduce
nothing from the Bible or Physiology
to justify said custom. They contend
that puberty is an indication that We
should marry;-that the Creator him
self in this way assures us that it is
right. Puberty is said to occur in males
about the age OF fourteen years, and il
females about the age OF twelve years.
Now common sense and the scriptures,
both dictate that boys and girls should
not marry so early. Puberty and
maturity are not synonymous terms,
nor do they occur simultaneously.
Physical maturity takes place long af-
ter puberty; and reason touches that
this maturity Is the earliest marriage
able period, and it is manifest that re-
production should not take place pre-
vious to this period. When domestic
animals reproduce previous to full de-
velOpment, their growth is impeded
and they are dwarfed and weak ened, |
and ever remain small and diminutive.
And so if there is not full and complete
physical organization in a human being
If such is prevented by premature
marriage females lose their youthful
ItSOI anu l6lIldlI pare anu punN: W0ll0
the males seem to grow old with greater
rapidity. Now if these observations be
true it is evident that marriage should |
not take place prior to maturity. But |
it may be asked, when does physical |
maturity take place? In the language
OF another, physical maturity does
not arrive as general thing sooner, |
than the 18th or Goth year in the male, |
and the 21St 22nd year in the female. |
1t requires long time for the bony
frame to become consolidated, and all |
its parts fully and completely ossified |
as chey are or shOu Id he in perfect
physical manhood" We find also
when the scriptures refer to this sub |
ject the term man and 1UOnIG7l are used |
and not boys and girls. When matri> |
mOny was first instituted it is said the |
Lord brought woman and gave it to |
the man for companion. Thus the |
scriptures (Wlthout multiplying quota |
lions, designates the married character |
and these terms (mau and wOman,) are
defined to be, persons of adult growth. |
In early ages persons lived much longer
than now, and it may to some extent
asscribed to their maturity before mar
riage. The deleterious effect of early
marriages is realized by both parents
and offspring.
And it is remal kable that the most
distinguished persons that have ever
lived were children of parents who had
arrived at maturity before marriage.
And also inasmuch as it devolves upon
parents to train and rear their children
correctly it is necessary that they them-
selves pass from childhood to mature
age before they have these precious i'm
mOrtals committed to their care and
guidance. Children are not ordinarily
blest with parental capacity. But in
addition to all these considerations,
early marriages should be avoided from
the tact that character and appearance
frequently change with age. Although
man should admire female at fifteen,
it does not follow that he will fancy her
when she is twenty~One, because her
character and appearance may have
undergone various and radical changes.
Common sense is very reliable guide
in these matters, and this subject should
be considered practically. But while
we deem an early marriage imprudent
we think 1t equally unbecOming to de-
fer his matter until persons have
grown gruff and grum from celibacy.
A man naturally merges into a morose
mode of life and becomes loathsome to
all refined acquaintance, when he
passes the proper period for marriage.
Such state of life soon produces
dreadful disposition, and woe to the
woman hois welded to such an one. A
man who has almost passed the meridi-
an OF life, and has spent his palmiest
days in single state and yet seeks the
hands of some fair females like the