The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1874-01-24
@it and gumor.
A Congressional Clock.

80 NNA1at1 VI = htH NNHE5ANooAAea ohS
without end. The latest story is of a gen.
tleman from New England, serving his
first term, who came here impressed with
the delusion that early rising, with indus
triOus habits, would grade the way "where
fame's proud temple shines afar," and as
his of6ce-seeking constituents kept him up
until after midnight he found the early
rising exceedingly irksome. Possessed of
an indomitable soul, however, he deter
mined to overcome this slothful habit, and
TO this end purchased an alarm clock pos
sessed Of the devilish animosity Of Wild
dows and the power of the chimes. This
alarm-clock he put upon the mantel-piece,
setting the alarm, as directed at A. NJ.
To his disgust and wrath the thing went
of just as he was dropping into a comfort
able slumber This was not the worst 1t
awakened the wife of his bosom and three
lovely little children. The confounded
clock was wound up again and again set,
and an hour was lost in soothing the fam
lily back to repose. The dreadful piece of
machinery remained quiet until the new
NJ. c. had dropped into his regular snores
that indicated the repose Of his gigantic
intellect, when suddenly it went of again,
fetching the young Solon to his feet in the
middle of the floor, where he stood in his
nightgown, not knowing whether to cry
for fire or look for burglars The children
again set up yell, and Mrs NJ. c., bring
ing herself to sitting position in the bed,
said with considerable wrath that if these
were part of her husbands Congressional
duties, she wanted him either 10 resign or
to send his family back to the rural home.
The poor fellow took his youngest in his
arms and trotted up and down the room,
trying to sing Rock-a-by Baby" to the
tune of" "0ld Hundred, y which only ag-
grayated the child's distress. Our friend,
the NJ. c., who was suffering from the
attack of his alarm clock, was interrupted
in the midst Of his domestic efforts by the
clock going of again in the unaccountable
manner. The honorable Solon placed bis
youngest hope in its cradle without. en-
phasis, and then Strengthening up, we are
panied to say, used some profane language.
His first impulse was to throw his murder
er of sleep out Of the window, but recol-
lecting that his pay was about to be cut
down, on second thought he seized the Of.
fsnsive, complicated and eccentric bit of
machinery and carried it down two flights
Of stairs to the basement, where he placed
it in the eoal-cellar. The next morning
the family had to dress in the cold because
Samson the colored man, refused positively
to go for Goals, asserting that q the debil
was down dere, shure" After late
breakfast this Solon put on his cape, hat
and gloves, and hiding the alarm.clock
under his arm, determined to return to
the misbegotten son Of man who furnished
il. He had not walked over square
before the thing went OF in the widest
manner. People turned aud stared at
him, and ragged little boys Of all complex
ions, but Of uniform dirt, took after him,
gazing with open-syed wonder at the phe-
numenon. One went so far as to shout
to comrade across the street -" Come
here, Bill here'sa fellow has swallowed
the chimes" ''No he amt, . said another,
"he'sonc ofthem chaps what's got clock in
his belly. / seed 'em In sto' winders."
The poor but patriotic repeater of back
pay became so embarrassed that he rushed
70 front door and ringing the bell asked
the servant If Tompkins lived there. The
poor girl was 50 startled by the apparent
ringing at both ends of their door alarm
that she dropped her under jaw and said
nothing. At this moment the exasperat-
ing alarm stopped ringing, and the men,
Der thinking that if he kept still il might
follow his example, sat down upon the
doorstep and said he'd wait for him. The
girl closed the door and in few minutes
the law-maker started again, and 90 did
the clock Perfectly infuriated he hailed
an + street car, thinking at least to get
clear Of his retinue Of ragged followers.
Seated in this legal conveyance new
trouble overlook him His alarm kept
ringing, and the passengers mistaking il
for the drivers bell, stared at each other
with an expression on each face which
said, awell, who's swindling the company
nowg" One testy old gent went 10 quar-
reling with the driver through the ticket
hole. The poor but patriotic repeater, for
such he was, pulled the strap and shot out
half crazed. Huryiag TO corner he
threw the offending alarm into trap and
went on his way rejoicing g--The Capiol.
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