, 1874-01-02
ECONOMICAL GOVERNMENT.


Or tho Science Of st lscpairs.''
Washington Correspondence of the Cincinnati Gdzet{
| Tho following outlines for now play are sub
| mitted to the Writer'S OF American comedy:
SCENE 1.-The Treasury Department workshop.
Enter q messenger, with spoke of q carriage
| wheel.
Messenger ito Toroman)-.Ir Sarillc [Chiof
Clerk wants this spoke repaired.
Foreman--All right. Single OF double team I
Messcnger--DoubIe. OF courSo, stupid! Do
] Won suppose tho Head Clerks OF our Department
drive their wives or sweetheartB around in one-
horse draya?
Forcma1-Do look like fool? Don't some
of 'em have both Kinds : aud when only a spoke
is sent down, how's fellow to know Which kind
they aro out of?
Hurry the thing up. It's wanted before the
holidays, when there's nothing to do, end plenty
Of time to splurSo around on the avenue bright
afternoons. And then their New Years calls,
you know. .
Foreman-Tel1 Mr. Saville we'll do the best
We can; but there's 3 great press for repairing
just nov. We've got pair of shafts to repair,
double team and q lyuch-pin, single dray and
set of wheels, laudaulet, silk upholstery. to out
shine Department Of Justice; so, you see. we're
pressed. but think with tho extra force Of
''tenporary clerks" just put m in the black
smith-shop, we come III time. ..
Messengcr-We1, Ill tell the boss you'll 90
on time for him.
Foreman docking at the spoho)-Double you
nay /; best S3 4nsh goat cushions. brown rep up
holstery and Innings, silk curtnns, circular glass
front. silver trimmings, monogram on doors 2
AL right will be on time.
SCENE 1-Samo messenger at q saddet's, on
Seventeenth street.
Messeuger-Here is buckle that tho Treas
urv Department Wants repaired.
Sadller-Cant undertake it for two months.
:Messenger-Two months! The panic don't
seem to hare affected your business.
sadd]or-No, indeed There will be no
panic for us as long as the Treasury reserve
holds out, hut that's got down to seventeen mill
ions, heaE.
Masseuser-T so, but hear 'em talk up
there about getting in enough more from taxcs
before that gone to keep thinss:moviug lvoly-
Saddler-Dut I can't repair your buckle this
time, because you SEQ I've got hitch-strap to
mend up into double set for one department,
and q girth to repair-sinslo set. gold-monnted,
you know-for another, and threo set3, ono sin
gle, but splendid, aud two double, Ba,ue sort,
for some OF the bureaus, and al to be done by
New Year.
Messenger can do it? Somehow, this
buckle has got to be fixed, and. since every one
else is going TO shine oat New Years, my boss
shan't look dim by the sido Of any one of 'cm.
Saddler-There ain't place in town can do it
for q month. Every man in tho business has
got moro 1ncnding than he can possibly do. You
see this new-fangled law about unexpcnded bal
ances keeps the harness and carriage business
brisk. II they don't spend it all, they have to
turn what's left in; aud you know nothing goes
go hard here iu Washington as turning anything
into the Tlcasury-turning out il popular
enough; and, by tho way, tLat reminds me, just
let mo charge that bncklo OF yours into this
splendid ready~mede double sot, and can send
the whole thing up at once
Meeeeu,er--Dut this buckle is silver, and your
set is gold mounted
Saddlor-Wlat Of that: How long hare you
been messenger or temporary clerk? What
use do you suppose have for the gold buckle
am taking out7 Just take this with you, and
when you get the harness aud the bill for re-
pairs, ,syhy charge it both; you see?
Messenger Mako out your bill for
repairs Of harness, nud send to the chief clerk
direct. Good day, Sir.
SCENE 3-A fashionable tailor's on the avenue.
Enter driver and footnan in livery.
Dtiyer-Here is some cloth apd silk Missus the
Secretary sent down. and won't you please meas
ure me- and tho foo.oaan hcro, and repair Mlssus'
two liveries-long. double breasted, big gold
buttons, broad collar, deep cuffs lined with this
here blu. silk, quilted in, you know, md MisBls
aays be sure aud have it beat the turnout OF tue
General all hollow. And repair us both
o pair OF tight brceches, with buttons down the
legs. and Nls5us says. while you ara at it, just
ge5 couple of cockales for our hats, cud get
all this menuing done as soon as yon can and
before New Years, without any fail, because
we've got to stu1,d around among the other Sec
fGtlTae5 tGatub at Ll6 EFcSIls3ut Iccci}+IoA.
Tailor-Au right. We're mighty hard pushed
with our rcpairs.-ten sets, as I'm aivc.-bus tell
Mrs. Secrctary wt: never failed her before. and
We won't this time. Those temporary clerks thoy
sent III are pretty apry with their needles.
Footmau-Fix em up bully, boss.
Driver-Send your bill up to the Disbursing
Clerk, aud mako it out for repairs, do you un-
lerstnnd?
Tai1or-Of course do That's the usual way.
There is precious few OF 'e:n has it done any
3ther way.
ScESE Norfolk Navy-Iard. Enter messen-
ger with small piece Of ive-oah in his hand.
Messenger (aallting Commanda11, aad baud
ng him the block Of oak )-Socretaty Roboson |
wants this ship repaired.
Commandant (to marine on suard)- this |
unatic out Of tho yard
Alessenger-Haro is a letter from the secre- |
ary Which forgot.
Commandant {reads)-Confdential |
NAVY DEPARTMENT., WASHINGTON, DC.
SIR: The bloc1; the messenger will hand You |
or il it is not no matter, piece Of the s1oop-
f-war Galena. Congress is stingior than ever.
nd couldn't get new slooos authorized, but I
d ret 81 500 0tD for Il rcpars," anl 20 am 60
ne to :.rcpair six Of our old s1oops, and you