The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-11-25
Editing a Paper.
THE "ros1r1vE'' srLYE IN TIE. FOCAL
DEPARTMENT.. sff.

49, 4. I4I f3
don't suppose that another man
ever lived like that Ohio editor who
lifted me out of the back end efan
omnibus one night, led me up five
pairs of stairs and undertook to tell
me how l was to assist in running
the local department. Of the paper
"You see," said he, jobbing at cock
roach with the shears, 'you want to
be positive, in what you say; folks
here won't believe any Of your sup
pose SOS and allegations. Say what
you say in words that can't be dis
puted; or, if they are disputed, send
the fellow into the other room and I
will fix him." He was great man
for fun; he never laughed himself,
but he had a high appreciation for
humor. He was always wanting me
to get off something sharp on some
one, no matter who, and he ran me SO
much I had to quit. For instance,
he came down one morning and said:
"Now, Charles, get off a hit on Julius
Cesar" r nf ,a frE. I. .ar
"Why, sir, the old man died years
ago." said I.
'sNo matter, no NATTER" he went
on, "get off something, Or I'll dis
charge YOU"
As $75a year was an object to me
then, handed in pretty big item'
Chats good, that's positive" he re.
piled, and in it went. The paper
hadn't been out an hour before a do
zen were crowding in after an expla.
nation. els your name Casar2" ask.
ed the old man Of each in turn
ono" "Well, then, who's running
this Caesar businessp Amt here
to disseminate knowledge? Don't ]
do her?'' And he finally threw an
other sheet on the "points." @
':Now, Charles said h e again,
"get off lick on George Washing
ton-something under lively head
line"
"But he's been written up" I re-
piled. ~"
''No matter-get of something, or
here's my note of hand for the bal
ance due you" ~ 60
AS his note Of hand was rather a
good thing to keep, 1 dug out a Sc
we're thing under the head Of ''Brutal
Outrage" There was Washing
tonian society in town, and half its
members were rushing up stairs be-
fore the edition was half off. "Base
wretch" shouted the president
"Calumniator. of genius" squeaked
the old maid secretary. "Vile ras-
CAL" Kissed a young man, with his
hair. behind, his ears Gentlemen
and old maid," began the editor, as
hr rolled up his sleeves, "why am l
here? If any Of you know m re
about George Washington than do,
why just take and run this office."-
And they had to go away with their
minds in rather, unsettled state.
Another time, when h e had run
over a whole volume of ancient his
tory without finding one to hit, says
he, "Get off something on me-
That's, just what I wanted, and I
'wrote:"We want wood on subscrip-
ton to this paper. Some of our sub
scribers promised to pay for their
paper in wood more. than ten. years
ago, and it's about time they brought
it in. We want wood-wood-
woed."- 1t was in July, and there
were thirteen loads Of wood in front
Of the office before noon. They got
there about the same time, and thir-
teen farmers came up in a body
Gentlemen" said the old man, after
they had stated their errand, "wood
is wood; wood, is a noun; is is a
verb, and wood is noun again.
The objective governs the require
ments Of the adverb, Which is the
possession of thirteen loads, accord
ing to chapter seventy-one, rule
three" And every time they. went
to say anything about wood he got
that off at them, until they alt went
down in a body threatening to YAM
pire him at the first opportunity.
The last thing have any recollec-
ton Of was getting off something
on the mayor Of the town. He. went
by old Sykes one evening without
nodding, and had no sooner enter.
ed the Office than I heard, go fol-
Mugs; give it to him hot; yank him
lall to pieces. and leave his shattered
remains hanging to the steeple of the
Court House." 'sBut he" began
when Sykes came close up to me
4 breathing hard, and says he, .sYoune
man, go for Mugs. I hate to part
with you, but Smith offers to fill your
situation for dollar less" So