The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-06

The matter quietly came to blows at GER
tain points of the room. Jim Dowder
caught Phil. Gates by the hair and
snatched him over two seats :; Sarah Jane
Beaver hit Martha Ann Randall in the
mouth with q reticule full of haZle nuts.
and farmer Heath choked store-keeper
Jones till the latter looked as blue as SEQ
ond quality indigo.
So the major part of the country-folk
took the side of Blodgett, while the vii
layers stood by the editor.
This was the beginning of trouble and
The editor, shrewd dog that he was,
when he saw that he was no match for the
pedagOgue In eXtemporaneous oral debate,
at once took Up the question OF Napoleon
Us. Wellington +" in the Star, kindly and
condescendly offering his columns to Blod-
gett for the discussion.
Blodgett accepted the challenge, and thus
laid the stones upon whi,h he was to fall.
The antagonists sharpened their goose
quilts and went at it.
| have always suspected that Miss HOl-
land did much to shear our Samson of his
strength. She certainly did, willingly or
unwittingly occupy toe much of his time
and thought. Poor fellow he would have
given his life for her. He often looked at
her sadly, thoughtfully, as | have seen a
terrier look at rat-hole, as though he half
suspected disappointment
The battle in the Star began in very
earnest. Ii was harvest for the shrewd
journalist. Everybody took the Star while
the discussion was going ON. Everybody
took sides, everybody got mad, and some
got most terribly thrashed. Even ParsOn
Holland and the town preacher had high
words and ceased to recognize each other.
AS for the young lady from Louisville, she
had little to say about the discussion.
though Blodgett always read to her each
article of his, first in MSS, then as it was
printed in the Star.
At length, at the very height of the dis
cussion, the editor INDUCED in Latin quo
tatiOns. Now when an editor gets down
to genuine Latin, it is sure sign he's after
somebody. This instance was no excep-
ton. He was batting for BlOdgett; Blod-
gett bit
"ML de mortais nisi bonasns," said the
editor, sis my motto, which may be free
ly translated; If you can't speak well OF
dead folks, keep your mouth shut about
them p"
BIodgett started when he saw this then
for full minute he stared on vacancy.
"I have him | have him" he NUT
tered in a murderOus tone, as he took
down his small Latin lexicon and began
busily searching its columns. 1t was Sat
urday evening, and so deeply absorbed in
the dictionary did Blodgett become that
he came near forgetting his weekly visit to
Miss Holland.
But he did not forget it. He went. He
told Miss Holland how the editor had laid
himself open to demolition, without point
ing out the precise vulnerable spot at
which his next spear was TO. be aimed. He
wished to leave her curiosity somewhat
excited.
The next day, though Sunday, was spent
by the pedagogue in writing his crusher
for the Star. He wrote it and rewrOte il
over and over again. He almost ruined a
Latin grammer and the aforementioned
lexicon. He worked till far in the night. |
His jaws were set for victory.
That week was one of intense excite
ment all over the county, for somehow it |
was generally understood among the coun-
try people, that the forthcoming essay by |
the pedagogue was to completely and for
ever finish the editor. Work was mostly
suspended during the entire week. The |
school children did about as they pleased, |
while they pleasednot to disturb BlOdgett's |
meditatiOns.
On the day of its issue the Star was in !
great demand. The office was crowded for
several hours with eager subscribers. The |
Squire and two constables had some trOu- |
bic to keep down little riot.
The following is an exact copy of BlOd- !
gett's great essay:
Mr.. EDIToR-SIR: This, for two reasons, is |
my last article for your journal. Firstly: My |
time and the exigencies OF my profession will not
permit me to pursue farther discussion which, |
on your part has degenerated into silly imbecile
tWa1lle- Secondly. only nppds N
at my hands of your false and fraudulent preten-
tiOns to classical attainments, to entirely ami
hilate your unsubstantial and undeserved pOpu- /
lFity in this county, and to send you back TO
peddling your wooden nutmegs. In order to put |
on great show of erudition, you lug into your ,
last article familiar Latin quotation Now, |
sir, if you had sensiby foregOne any attempt at |
translation, you might possibly have made some |
one think you are smart; but ''whom the gods |
destroy they first make mad. -
You say ''De naOrttuS nil niSi bonurn'' may be |
freely translated, If you can't speak we'll OF |
the dead, keep your mouth shut about them -
Shades OF Horace and Praxitiles! What would |
Pindar or Cicero sayl But will not jest at the |
expense of sound scholarship. In conclusion, |
simply submit the following liberal rendering of |
the Latin passage in question: De, of-mortuis,
tie dead-nii, Dothing-niSi but-bonunl, goods. |
Thus the whole phrase is correctly rendered as /
follows: There is nothing left of the dead but |
their goods" Here, so far as am concerned, |
Your ob't serv't,
T. BLoDGETT.
The country fared into flames of tri- |
umph. Blodgett's friends took the town |
by storm. The editor. however, did not |
seem at all disconnected. His clear, bright |
eyes stood farther out than ever. He |
looked like man who confidently bided |
his time. Blodgett put the paper in his |
pocket and stalked grandly, VIGOROUSLY |
out of town.
After supper he dressed himself with |
4 II
She was enchantingly beautiful that even
ing, dressed in white muslin and blue rib |
bOns, her yellow hair flowing in a wrink- |
ling volume far down below her plump /
shoulders, her face radiant with health and |
high spirits.
All that Blodgett did say to the young |
lady that evening may never be known. 1t |
is recorded, however, that when he had |
finished reading his essay to her, she quiet
ly got up. went to her travelling trunk, |
took therefrom book of foreign phrases" |
and examined it awhile, after which she |
was for time somewhat uneasy and re-
ticent. Budget observed this, but he was
too dignitied to ask word of explanation. /
The following week was the last of the !
school term. The exhibition came off on |
Everybody went early. Blod- |
gett was in his glory. He knew not that |
the end was so near. A little circumstance |
toward evening seemed, however, to fore
shadow it.
Blodgett called upon the stage a bright |
lad, his favorite scholar, to translate Latin |
phrases. The boy, in his Sunday best and |
sleekly combed, came forth and bowed,
his eyes sparkling with vivacity. The little |
fellow was evidently precOcious, rapid if |
not a very accurate thinker; one of those |
children who always have an answer ready, |
right or wrong.
After several preliminary questions, dis
posed of very satisfactorily, Blodgett said !:
"Now. sir, translate, 'Monstr7ar hoTren-
dun IN foYne is,genS.'"
Quick as lightning the boy replied:
"The horrid monster informed the In
diansi'
Furyl The face of Blodgett grew livid. |
He fiercely motioned for the curtain to fall ; |
but that calico could not keep the audience !
from hearing that thwacking that told how
Jared the boy. What a logging! Even |
while this was going on, a rumOr rippled
round the outskirts of the audience. Some |
one had arrived from thevillage. Copies of
the Star began to circulate. Looks of amaze |