Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-04-16
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

the possibility Of sudden death.
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
TuE world uses $50, OO0, 900 pounds
of ton md us, 900, 900 pounds of coffee
every year. China furnishes nearly nu
the ton, md Brazil more than huff tho
coffee.
In Armenia, N. Y, there is nn old
fashioned house, now nearly u century
old, which contains twenty weight rooms,
exclusive of closets, nntl has seven brick
tireplaces, thrco brick ovens, and six
outside doors.
EXPERIENCED sheep men in different
portions of California aro of the opin-
ion that the losses of sheep this winter
have been SO great that all the increase
by way of lambs will he required to
keep the numbers good.
NEW JERSEY legislators nro trying IN
experiment in Jersey City by comforting
Oh II functionary there "power to adopt
rules to prevent conilagrations." This
is expected to prove cheaper Than fire
department.
The great clock of the British Houses
of Parliament has been stopped for
cleaning on yccount of having lost a.
second in one month. The average
variation of the clock does not amount
to quarter of second in the year.
DIALOGUE from Fun-Fair damsel,
putting ON new Gloves Too tight ?
Oh no, auntie, not at all besides, I
like them leetle tight p Troublesome
Brother as if somebody was
squeezing her hand; don't We sec
auntie p
SOMEBODY boasts in Western news
paper of being the happy possessor of
q new, first-class oroide watch which
runs an hour in forty minutes, and
with the assistance of two hands has
gained enough to pay for itself in three
weeks.
The time is approaching when the
feminine dweller in the suburbs will
say to her little girl: "Susan. go in
and ask Mrs. Smith if she won't keep
few of those hens ut home. "I've Just
planted my seeds, and can't have all
those fowls here at once"
A PMTsBURG woman says that one
thousand reporters souls could dance
upon the point of needle. This ques;
ton of the size of angels souls was fire.
quently discussed by the medieval
monks.
WHETHER champagne is growing I'M
popular, or has been crowded ont by
whiskey, or the people have less money
to waste on such costly drink, does not
yet appear. But there were 10000
dozen less of champagne imported into
the United States in 1873 than in 1872.
The per centage of diminished importa-
ton was about thirteen per cent.
The inspiring sunshine of the season
has touched the heart of IN Indian
apoGs girl, who concludes love-letter
thus "The ring is round, the dish is
square, and we'll be married the next
State fair. The bell shall ring, the
drum shall play, and we'll 60 dancing
all the way. Answer soon. MARY.
IT is now asserted, says the New York
Tribune, that side window in stable
makes horses eye weak on that side; q
window in front hurts his eyes by the
glare; q window behind him makes him
squirt eyed; window on diagonal
line makes him shy when he travels; a
stable without window makes him
blind. Truly farming is a fearful and
wonderful pursuit.
RATHER q keen piece of sarcasm is
INDUCED in by the author of "Eldora-
do" new burlesque at the Strand
Theatre, London. He makes the son
of one of the characters welcome his
father to Paris, and.ask him if he had a
pleasant railway journey. "Oh, yes, !"
says the parent, Z" capital we had a
| r~nslo~nA - t.
was it ?" says the son. "We arrived
safely"
A WESTERN paper has the following
funeral notice "A long funeral cor
tege wendell its solemn way to the GEM
etery yesterday. The deceased was a
man who neglected to buy nice warm
suit of underware at the Emporium
Bazaar. Be wise in time. The store is
crowded with lovely ladies', and the
spruce clerks are hopping round like a
flea on a hot griddle. Call before it is
too late"
WHEN the celebrated French chemist
Ortila was on one occasion witness ut
q trial for poisoning, he was asked by
the president if he could state the
quantity of arsenic requisite to kill a
fly. "Certainly, M. le President" re-
piled the expert; sbut I must know
beforehand the age of the fly, it's sex,
it's temperament, it's condition and hab-
it of body, whether married or single,
widow or maiden, widower or bache-
lor."
The Tchborne jury have been hard
" treated. They had been led to expect
two guineas a day for their services
through the long and tedious trial, but
at the close of the trial they were hand
ed checks for just 81 guineas apiece less
than the implied contract guaranteed
them that is, they were paid only a
guinea and halfa day. The checks were
accepted under protest, and steps will
be taken to secure the balance due.
THE London theatres are taking adj
vantage of the Russo-mania occasioned
bytheroyal marriage. One enterprising
manager has revived poor Adah Isaacs
brings out the "Exiles of Siberia. -
There is perfect gush of waltzes and
songs relating to the marriage, and the
Russian anthem is now blended with
"God save the Queen" in all the music
halls.
CHRISTENING a man-of-war in Russia
is different ceremony from that prac-
ticed in this country. No bottle of
wine is broken against the bows, but a
metal plate, engraved with the name of
the vessel and of her sponsor, with the
date and other particulars, is let into
the verticle keel, a throat plate is
screwed down, and nothing more is seen
OF the engraved tablet till the vessel is
broken up.
WHILE manipulating the windlass of
a well the other night, party who had
been laying in stock of whisky before
it was all seized by the police, let the
handle slip when the bucket was half
way up, and naturally enough received
a chuck under the chin that knocked
him over neighboring fence. "Sold
agin," he muttered as he climbed to
his feet, "might anode- hic-better
than to-hic-go foolen' roun so much
water. Betcher boots I'll stick t. whisky
after this
A Dainty Meal.
OF NJ. Ledru-Rollin, who is about to
tAeappear upon the scene of French pol
ftics, a writer tells the following anec-
dote:
| "When he seized on the post of Min
lister of the Interior, after the flight of
Louis Philippe, at the head of band