The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1874-11-21
POIitensss at Home.

Politeness, due and proper regard, that
IL, for the feelings, wishes, and pleasures
Of other people, is the thing that, perhaps
Of all others, renders life the easiest aud
the pleasantest; It is the oil that enables
all the wheels Of the complex machinery
Of social life to work satisfactorily. What
a pity it is, then, that it should be disre-
garded as it so frequently Is ia domestic
life, the place where Of all others its soft-
ening influence is the most required The
constant intercourse Of home life causes
unsuitable tempers and dispositions to jar
each other in manner hardly possible IN
general society-how unwise, then, is It to
relinquish the one quality which acts as
species Of buffer between antagonistic
tempenments. Beside, 1t is cardinal
mistake to regard politencss as 50 many
unfortunately do, as species Of company
manner to be assumed or relinquished
simultaneously with our best clothes: il is,
properly considered, most valuable quail
ity, involving self-eontroI, some unselfsh-
ness, and a certain regard for the feelings
Of others. 4
We wish VIC could regard ID as by any
means common virtue in the home-circIe,
but fear it is very far indeed from being
so; neither men nor women are blameless
in this respect, but owing to their gentler
and softer natures women are less frequent
offenders than the lords Of creation. Still
they frequently allow themselves license
in saying unpleasant things TO their own
immediate belongings, that they would
never talk in the hearing of stranger.
They argue, at is hard If you can't say
what you think to your own husband, or
sister, or other relative" Granted-but
the very same thing, if necessary, may be
said in different ways--why not select the
one which will neither wound the feelings
nor rouse the temper Of the listener /?
Many Of the bitterest and most irrepara-
bic disagreements in married life have
arisen, not from any want Of absolute af-
fection, but from a caselessness on one side
or the other, frequently on both, as to the
manner on which subjects on which there
may be difference Of opinion are remark.
ed upon. It is almost impossible that two
people can, even though they be husband
and wife, think alike on every subject the
probabilities are that on many their opin-
ions will be widely different. Why, how.
ever, should they not be as politely tolerant
of each Others views in private as con-
yentionality would force them to. be in
public2 Why should the wife's express
sion Of opinion be received with, maria,
don't be fool, or the husbands with,
Really, John, you are quite too silly 2"
We have already said the men are the
worst offenders, perhaps because they care
less for, and consequently think less Of,
the small courtesies Of life than do women.
Still this reflection hardly consoles wo-
man when she first finds her husband
punctilious in helping every other woman
over the raised stile, while he leaves her
to climb a fve.bared gate unassistcd, nor
is she free from certain feeling Of NOR
ti6cation when she finds he considers it
too much trouble to dress for dinner with
her alone, Or to youchsafe an answer to a
question should he have the newspaper in
bis hand.