The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-09-25
Lovers and Husbands.

It is a strange anomaly in human ma
ture that we are often least satisfied
when we have attained that which we
most desired. Ii is upon this principle
that we account for the great transfOr-
nation which comes over many a lover
when he becomes q husband.
The lover places his beloved one upon
a high pedestal as something to be really
worshipped, and he offers TO his idol
his hearts sincerest devotion. But let
the maiden descend from her height 10
become the wife of the man who adOres
her, alas! how quickly the romance
fades away-how quickly she drops from
an angelic being into commonplace
woman, whose opinions are snubbed by
her husband, and whose affection even
seems to have lost its value.
Let no fond girl believe the lover who
processes to find her all perfection, who
places her in the category of angels and
roses, and fiatters her until she is half
pursuaded that she has wings, and may
soar if she will Let her attempt to use
her pinions after marriage, and she will
be suddenly brought down to earth, like
the tortoise in the fable who attempted
to fly. And, as for very rose of sweet
ness, bahi one might as we'll be COM
pared to q dafiy-dOwn-dilly as to a rose,
for husbands are too apt to think more
of one good, sensible head of cabbage,
well-coOked for dinner, than of hund-
red roses
Lovers may fiatter the accomplish
ments, and praise the talents of the
woman they love; but husbands are
usually jealous of intellectual pursuits
on the part of their wives. They seem
TO fancy, poor thingsi that the wife
who reads sensible book, or pursues
some favorite study, may forget to sew
on their buttons, or to brush the cObwebs
from the ceiling. Besides, we have no.
ticed that husbands are, as n rule.
averse to their wives being informed
upon subjects Of which they themselves
are Ignorant, which looks as though
they secretly trembled for their much
vaunted superiority. Many man, who
regards it as matter of course that his
wife should spend large portion of her
time IN visiting gossipping and shop
ping, and who would not think of re-
preaching her for so doing, would be-
come dissatisfied if she spent the same
amount of time in acquiring knowledge,
or in pursuing some art. She would be
fOrcibly reminded that a woman's place
is to attend to her domestic duties.
As though domestic happiness were
apt to suffer if an enlightened woman
presided over il instead of little-souled,
rattle-brained piece of vanity!
The poet may idealiZe the woman he
loves in immortal verse; but if that
woman becomes his wife, fancy he can
at times be quite as snappish and ill
tempered as ordinary mortals, especially
when he descends from the clouds TO
tread the earth, and finds his domestic /.
affairs unsatisfactory.
II bis breakfast is tardy, or his dinner 4
spoilti the poet very easily descends 4
10 everyday terms, and utters his re-
proaches very much i'm the style of other .
husbands; whereupOn his wife is in \
cllned TO wish that he might remain /
upon Mount Parnassus altogether, and /
not come down TO worry about such vul- /
gar things as breakfasts and dinners.
III Dante had not lost his Beatrice 4
When she was young and beautiful; if |
Fetrarch had welded his Laura, or Tasso I
ms Leonora, do you suppose the world /
would have rung with their praises /
Would they have been immOrtalized in /
undying song?
Not at all. Beatrice would never |
have been the angel in Dante's heaven |
II she had continued to brighten his |
earthly home; and Laura aud Leonora |
would have blOomed through their |
wrlnkled and faded, would have dropped /
into the tomb without the world know
ing aught Of their fate.
How obsequious is the lover TO every /
wish and look of her he loves He is /
all devotion, all afiectiOu-in fact, the |
very embodiment of passionate ardor. /
Alas how few husbands continue TO he |
the lover! Even though love itself /
may still exist, it is shut up so closely /
In the heart that il loses its wings, and /
no longer scars. Those little kindnesses, |
those little delicacies of attention which /
are not much in themselves, yet, after |
all, do much in making up the sum OF
human happiness, and of which the |
lover was so lavish, are only too often |
neglected or forgotten by the husband. |
Day by day he becomes more absorbed /
in business, and the turbid stream bears I
him farther and farther away from the
romance of his youth. He fOrgets that
she who sits by his fireside was once a
blooming rose, and he sees not what
oIhers can plainly see-that she is droop-
ing Ike neglected flower.
now TINS IS all wrong. When a wom-
Sl,.S11l an consents TO marry, and takes upon
iit- iieIseH the task Of making some man
10 10 Ppyi II should not be at the expense {:
.,.lll u tilaAIllg herself miserable. A woman
noseI lOrgets the homage she received
before marriage, and if She finds coIJ-
ness ness ana neglect when She becomes
VIE Mite, tHe % contrast is bitter enoughNtoo
Husbands should continue to ba lou {
and wives also. A man sbonlS s eIs
WOO maiden as though She lr waro Ioo tI.o /!
queen of flowers, and then when ~
ried look upon her as the merest VI
that grows. He should not fiatter Io
into the belief that he regards her as H.
best and the fairest of womankind. and
then cruelty undeceive her by sneerinS ,
lt her ignorance and striving TO impress
her with a due sense of his own superb
ority.
Once enshrined as a divinity in her ,