The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-10-01
For the CITIZEN.

What is Man?
The subject, Woman, has been recent
" reviewed and discussed, and it is pro-
posed in this article to draw a short
sketch of the Lord of creation, Man.
This naturally leads Us to enquire,
What is man? The Book informs us he
was moulded from a few shOVelsful Of
Loose dirt scraped up in the Garden Of
Eden, which being mOistened with On
nipotent dews and gently warmed by
Divine rays became an animated form
Of flesh, bone and blood. The animal
mechanism Of man is so similar to that
of woman, that If any difference exists,
1t Is so slight that we VIII not stop to
point it out, but the material out of
which the two are composed is very dis
similar. Man is an animal that walks
upright upon his hind legs, and has a
head upon his shoulders that is some
big pumpkin compared with his elder
brother, the Orangoutlng, or even that
Of an elephant. Unlike the hog that
fore-noses some things, and the bee, spi-
der and many quadrupeds that can tell
DAYS before hand when it's going to
rain, man foreknows nothing, Herein
he is pre-emIuently inferior 10 the beasts.
Then again, what renders him vastly su-
perior Is a certain faculty-GOd-given
which enables him to guess at a thing
better than they, aud sometimes he hits
the mark at the distance Of a hundred
years-thOugh this is of rare occurrence.
Man is an odd fish at any rate. When
he first entered the Garden of Eden he
was so ignorant that he did not know
y neither his name was Adam or IchabOd
spent much OF his time sitting on the
banks of Pison catching catfish in which
he took great delight, the recollection of
which he has not entirely forgotten, and
even now he resorts to this primitive
amusement-did not know Paradise
from a sheep pasture, and il took nim
week to form the most simple idea and
in this he has not much improved. He
was the biggest baby we ever read of,
and would have continued forever in
this condition had not God compass
stoned his stupidity and put him to sleep
In his little bed and took a rib from his
side and made woman. When he awoke
next morning and found Eve by his
side, his bed strewn with roses and the
perfume of flowers RECALLED his senses, he
was wont to sing to the Lord to put him
in his little bed again. This short night
produced q wonderful change in his
perceptions and enabled him to behold
Eden as a garden of bOundless extent
aud infinite variety. The many rare
made the ZephyTs redOlent with the
richest perfumes, he named peoples and
hOllyhocks and sun-iOwcrs, while Gu
cumbers, squashes and pumpkins were
the most delicious fruit of the garden.
He preferred to drink the tuTbid and
sluggish waters of Euphrates to the
| limpid, translucent fountains that CUR
| gled from the hillsides.
Man is the only creature in the world
| that is uneasy in regard 10 his dress and
! condition. IN truth he l. never satisfied
! long with anything. Change, constant
/ change, is the very essence Of his exist
ence. Give him what he wishes and he
must have something else-as much as
| he wants and he wants more. For a
| great while after his creation he sat in
| the garden and winked as coutentedIy
as toad without single feather IN has
| tail, but the spirit of discomfort seized
| him and lie began to strut like the proud
/ peacock as though he had jewels in his
| head and golden feathers on his back
/ His variable and incOnstanU nature
| grieved his Maker and tie elected him
| from the garden and the devil went to
| his relief and comfort and has since
! been regarded as his boon companion,
| He is as little qualified for the kingdom
Of heaven as a 1rOglet in a bowl OF soup.
padding and thrashing about as never
TO realize the rich blessings and bounte-
GUS enjOyments with which he was sur
rounded. If he were there lac would
be progressing and going ahead, and
that too, on the largest character OF
scale. Such is his tickle nature and the
propensity for something new he could
not remain there one hundred years be-
fore he would move to have his Maker
remOddlcd and heaven enlarged by an
neXatiOn.
Physically speaking, man is the same
rs any other donkey. He bears bur-
dens, draws loads after him-is either
driven or led by the nose by somebody
or something-he eats and drinks his fill
lies down and sleeps-Tises in the
morning to renew his daily toll, and IL
nally Over-wearied with Iife's heavy
burdens, lays himself down and dis
/ solves into common dust.
Mentally speaking, man is almost a
miracle. His head is a vast mountain
| Of thOught-an uHeXplored chasm OF
| INTELLECT rich, ineNhaustable mine OF
| ideas. Tie cOuceives such mighty pro-
| jects and puts in operation such Won
I derful plans as none but one made A
| little lower than the angels could posi-
/ bly, execute, and W hich fully confirms
us in the opinion that it would take but
a very small boast indeed to elevate him
/ 10 within "a few feet and some inches OF
| the majestic dignity of Deity.
Morally speaking, man has a heart rs
/ big as "a cOai-uOb and as crowded with
! generosity, philanthropy, charity, kind
/ ness and sympathy as a scallawag's car
/ pet-bag with well-tried and faithful
/ breeches, cOntiding old shirts, patient
| holy, and never complaining old socks
| and all such truck. But recollect that
| with him circumstances exercise most
unresisting and tyranical influence, as
! the darkey said when caught between a
| post and cart hub.
Socially speaking, man is a gregari-
Gus animal. He loves to herd as natur-
/ ally as sheep and geese. Perhaps he is
| Oftner prompted in this by selt-interest
| than by pure friendship, as in large
cities for instance, where he may pick uI
/ what another drops-gain what another
! loses by traffic or gambling, all of which
/ he regards as legitimate.
! PhilOsophjcally speaking, man is q
/ curious compound of pride, humility
| vanity, simplicity, frankness, hypocricy
ambition, indifference, industry, lazi-
ness, religion, infidelity, mirth, remorse-
ness, gayety, gravity, virtue and vice
| Take him by the coat collar and give him
"A shaking and all these various ingredi-
ents turn at once into the form OF
/ wrath, but daub on the ointment of flat
/ terry, rub il well but gently in and they
Immediately thicken into the molases OF
| love and admiration. In this he is a
/ perfect chameleon, assuming the very
/ hue of every object with which he
abides long in company. Indeed he is
/ the most marvellous piece of patchwork
| in philoSophic sense ever created.
Politically speaking, man is one OF
the meanest hypocrits and most unmiti-
| gated scoundrels that ever disgraced the
/ highway of good opinion.
Plainly speaking, man is mammoth
/ humbug-a mOnstrous cheat, and the
! less You have to do with him the better
/ it Will be for you.
| lntine, single blessednCss is decidedly
/ more desirable than union with a GER
/ tain Nj. D., who has been husband fif-
teen or twenty years-"Only this and
nothing more"
This essay has been copied largely
from the writings of others whose
names and works have been intention