, 1874-03-01
TIE TACHYPOMP.

From, Sc,7Jner's for lNGrch.

There 77as nothing mysterious about Prof.
Surd'a dislike FOR me. l Was THO only poor
mathematician in an exceptionally mathematical
c!ass The old gentleman sought the lecture
room eTery morning with easernes5, and LETT
reluctantly. For vas it not
4 THING OF JoY
to find aavensy young men who, individually and
collectively, preferred to AA; who had rather
diserentiato than dissipate; aud for whom the
limbs of the heavenly todies hadmore attractions
than those of earthly stars upon the spectacular
stage?
So sIairu vcnt on swimminsly bet"een tho
Professor Of Mathematics and the Junior Glass
al polyp University In every man OF the so7en-
ty the sago saw the logarithm OF possible LII
Place, Of Stur1n, or Of o Newton. It YVES de-
1icbtfr1 task for him to lead them through tho
pleasant valleys OF comic sections, and beside
tle stil1 waters of tho integral calculus. Fig
urativcly speaking, tis problem was rot
hard GIG. Ho had only to manipulate, and
eliminate and to raiEe to higher power, and
Line triumphant result Of e3aniuation-day was
assured.
But WAS ......
DISTURBING ELEMENT,
ne,;,loxing UNKNOWN quantity, which had sone-
how crapt into tho work, and which serioualy
threetenod to impair tho accuracy OF his r.lcuta-
tions. It wan touching sight to behold the
venerable mathematician rs he pleaded with me
not so utterly to disregard precedent IN the use
OF cotagents; or as he urged, with eyes almost
fearful, that ordinates wero dangerous thlnga to
t1,flo with, AL in vain. Moro theorems went on
to ny cuT than into my head Never did chalk
do 80 much work to SO little purpose. And,
therefore, it came that Furnace Second was re-
duced to zero in Prof. burd's cstimat,on- He
locked upon mo with all the horror which an un-
atscbraic nature conid inspire have seen the
Professor waII arouud an entire square ratler-
than meet tho man who bad no mathematics in
his soul
Fer furnace Second were
NO INVITATIONS TO PROF. sURD's HOUSE.
Seventy Of the class snppod LII delegations
around the periphery OF the Profeesors tea table,
Of th.t perfect olipse, with its twin bunchea
Of fuchsias and geraniums IN gorgeous precision
ct the two foci.
This, unfortunately enough. Was no triding
deprivation. Not t;.-t loneed especially for
secn,cuts Of Mrs. Surub jul tly-colebrated lemon
Pies not that Tie sphcroldl danasons Of her
excellent preserving had any allnrements; not
even tLat ycarncd to hear the Professors jo-
cc.e tapIe-talk about binoaaials aud chatty illus
t1atious OF abRtrllse parndo3es. TGe e1plana-
tion is far different. Prof. Suru
HAD DAUGHTER
Twenty wears before, he made q proposition Of
marriage to the present Mrs. :. He added O lit
tic Corollary to his proposition not long after.
l4G ICTUllhIT NlS Ii t34l4
Abecissa Sud was as perfectly symmetrical as
GiottoB circle and as pure, Withal, IS the math-
e,natics her father taught It mas just when
spring was coming TO extract the roots OF frozen
up vegetation that fell in love with the Corol-
lary TLat she herself Was not Indifferent,
I aoou had reason to regard IS a self-evldont
truth.
The eagacious reader will already recognize
nearly all tho elemonts necessary to we'll order
ed r1o:. We have introduced q heroine, inferred
Il n4aln ffar+ +9A
mos. approved model. 4 Amovement for the story,
Dc,.s ex ,nachina, is alone 1acking. With con-
xiderablo Satisfaction can promise
A PERFECT NOVELTY
in this line, o Deus &c naacaina never before
offered to the public.
1t would bo diacounting ordinary intelligence
to say that sought with unwearying asslduity
to figure my ray into the stern fathers good
will; that never did dulla,d apply himself to
mathematics moro patiently than l.; that never
| did fa;thfulncsa achieve s1ch meagre reward.
| Then engaged private tutor. His instructions
| met With no better SUCCESS.
Ny tutors name was Jean Marie Rivaro].
| 1o vas unique Al6atieu,-thoush Gallo in
| Francnman, by education 9 German. uio age
nas 80; his profession, onlniscienco tho wolf
at his door, poverty the skeleton II his closet,
= consuming but 1lnrequited passion. Tho most
recondite principles Of practical science
| WERE Ills TOYS;
-:, p-,t,o,nc -v},;c1 vravo f,raardainad
st;oa - ~ .raro ~ lin, as ccar AZ TaI,oa
mysteries ohnna ~ o VIII ,hs ~ v,rr fact vii ~
ias, "a;@' ,1r 1aslr nf auccezs in the reIa-
| 1;na pisan ~ Ju' +1tor r and MIL. nerhans the
t:on % .1one ne to ,,v avn un,niuated stu
ni;;tr rTar Ind hung about tho skirts OF lie
~ ~ sacara1 ve,rs snnnlyinr lis few
a'Is Isu ,.r;t;n,s ~ for sc;cntii;c 5unais or by
.;v;no :ss;stsnee to sf,1lentu who ike mypoif.
Ssa.a ,11o.ac.a-;1e3 h.. n1oto-a nf purso and
w. ;... ~ ;Jo.s cooL;nr s,ndrnp anil a}oan-
Pan;rf 0 ol sttc ~ md 1r,,sscntiuc oueer
| t'.c $500 49, -. III ~, sE;,5valf
e~velca15 ni a. ,o3. ~ dscrrcr,np that even this
~ na,,id not trananont hrains into
~ eseontia1 ,,aGa;a ~ gtItu1 nI.1,i 49, A
u' osnel.No a-4Ha go ar4,, zr1rocrr nrsp4m
.'11.,',. 0' ,.aa. 1as..ali II, slow ioncth
AZ annappy 49, !Eaa 10 h,ic1tnne5 onIv
~, - VIII ahsrssa the A.
H. =; " ~ 49, tl,a1s,1,t. md iraama
o'9 y. ns ~, 49,, ,a,n;n, m an,ce.
49,. ann.' ~ aa fort3 WIFI tl.a 1nst ~ nv c;ass
~ Maa aston;s dov nd oi;ght waitinr world. Tho
p,5ass11 .aar.od - svoa e n,o2a than ever.
xn.i';., h.,t ~ oan.o,t;oaat;as think kant
q;,, %. ri. h,a If mo On tie
baa;s baal ndn of unconcealed e M DISGUST. ' " ~