Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1874-04-29
AunlntSnnne.
Sparkling and Bright.

Sparkling and Bright.
hopays the highest price fora home ?
The woman who marrios for one.
The wave on which many poor follow
has been carried away is The wave Of a Lace
edged cambric handkerchief.
A shoddy lady 10 Daubufy desiring 10
be vaccnatcd, told the doctor to give her
the highest priced scab--AIderney, she be-
loved
TO squire who was Boosting of his
horses speed, Sam Foote replied Pooh
my horse can stand faster than your horse
can gallop"
An Arkansas obituary notice ---" }
p, Of Helena, on Monday, the 81 inst
aged fourteen years Ills last word, were
didn't know it was loaded
These are lhe days in which She says
81 don't care wish was dosd Aud
he sympathe,ically rgoins' tiwg incl
bonnet You're never satisfied ~
-" None knew him bot TO trust him, nor
named him but 20 dur" IS the pathetic
sentence with which Delaware merchant
closes an advertisement for a missing Gus
toner
-"Ilomc's the place for bays" said q
stern parent to his son, who vas fond Of
going cut at night. " That's ius what |
think when you drive me Oh 10 sohua every
morning, said the sou.
"A Chicago pork packer, whose pew
10. to- 20 Iinl| L.
claimed Great Caesar here's ulcc
state of anairs-the gospel going up aud
pork going down. Whatsto become Of us2 %
-"Aud so they go" one Of the late
Portland school commissioners is reported
to have said " our great men are fast de-
parting 6rst Greeley, then Chase aud now
Sumner and don't feel very well, my
self"
-Au old lady, hearing some one reading
about Congressmen-at.large, rushed to the
kitchen door, shouting Sarah Jane,
Sarah Jane, don't you leave the clothes out
all night, tell you, for there's Congress
man at large J"
There is something very sensible IN the
impromptu remark Of a pretty girl ." II
our Maker thought it wrong for Adam to
live single when there was not woman on
earth, how criminally wrong are the old
bachelors, with the world full of pretty
girls w
When you see two young persons seated
in the centre Of pew in church, you may
mako up your mind they are engaged or
going to be but when one is at the head
and the other at the foot Of the pew, you
can Immediately determine that they are
married
-" Here I've been waiting for you for
hours waiting and rocking in this chair
till my head spins like top exclaimed q
wife to her dissipated husband, who calmly
replied "Jess so, my dear, where I've been
my head spins jess so it mus be something
in the atmosphere"
The Colorado papers are Boosting of
the wonderful recuperatve qualities Of their
climate, and quote, as an instance, the case
Of an Ohio lady who was unable to sweep
a room With broom at homo, but she had
not been in Colorado month before she
chased her husband mile with a pitchiork.
"A Western paper says that the way to
kill of the poets who offer to write pieces
grptuitously is to accept their efforts, hand
them to the worst compositor, and let tho
proof-reader correct them according to hi,
own ideas Of prosody. This is warranted
to destroy the strongest poetical fever il
three weeks.
"A young man who left Brooklyn, thre,
years ago, to "go west and grow up" hai
just been heard from. lie writes home t.
his friends, from Idaho, saying that tn,
country is the most beautiful the sun evei
, shose on, and the inhabitants the most so
: eable he ever met, Also, that he expects
to be hanged 10 about four days for stealth!
mule.
The season Of meditation, whitewash
/ and calm, unimpassioned profanity is upoi
, us. A western paper speaks Of the house
cleaning season as that "when divine wo
, man has her own way about the house
while the old man takes his solemn rcpas
from the top of the -four barrel and il
sleeping, enjoys the freedom Of the interva
between his bedroom and the front fence
One evening, lately, lecturer on spir
}, ituaism observed a lady in deep mournin
leaving the hall. He addressed her frou
l. the platform, and asked her to wait fc,
Q moments, as the spirit of her husban
!. wished to communicate with her. 81 kno,
}. it," she replied for he is now at the doc
n waiting to escort me home" The lecture
e adjourned early, and left town the next day
lie was a quaint old fisherman. On
% day along toward dusk, be was fishing in
ie trout stream, and as he flung his fly owe
10 the water, it was suddenly snapped by
lie large bat. The strange looking thin
70 daugled and tapped its wings at the end {
g. the line. The fisherman's companion Gale
out Say Sam, got anything "Ye-as,
e, looking at the bat on his hook /" Whot
l it3" !" dunno, unless its cherubimr ~