Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-02-19
HurnOr.

WHAT barber mustn't do-Lather
his wife.
THE best way to raise Strawberries
with spoon.
WHY is poker like an angry word?
Because it stirs up smouldering fire.
QUERY-Can it be called feat of
skill when a person throws up his situa-
ton?
WHEN is an encampment most likely
to burn well? When the tents are
pitched.
WHY is a solar eclipse like a woman
whipping her boy? Because it's hid
ing of the sun.
A LITTLE girl of eight or ten summers
being asked what dust was, replied that
it was mud with the juice squeezed out.
"WHo cut your clothes, Tommy ?"
| asked a visitor of a curiously ragged
boy. "Well," said he ingenuously,
"ma cuts my pants, and pa cuts my
jacket"
"SHoULD / be discovered, am lost"
exclaimed the hero of melodrama, as
he concealed himself in closet on the
stage. "Should you be discovered,
you will be found" was the amendment
of wag in the gallery.
A PREACHER took up collection on
Sunday, and found when his hat was
returned that there wasn't penny in it.
81 am thankful said he, turning the
hat upside down and tapping the crown
of it with his hand, "that / have got
my hat back from this congregation.
"WFE, what has become of the
grapes ?" 1 suppose, my dear, the
hens picked them off," was the bland
reply. Hens-hens some two-legged
hens, guess" said the husband, with
some impetuosity to which she firmly
replied, "My dear, did you ever see
any other kind ?"
A SLIGHT MIsrAKE.-A rural gentle
man visiting friend, found at the back
of the house, after dusk, an immense
snake lying on the grass. He procured
an axe, and when he had chopped the
reptile into about dozen pieces he dis
covered it to be a garden-hoe which
should have been hung up in the tool
house.
| Foul PROMOTION why did the
general take you on his staff?' was
asked of young Hussar not long ago
by an enthusiast. SO oh I'll tell you !;
because 1 cut" Through the ranks
of the enemy, you hero 7" interrupted
the enthusiast (she was LADY,. "Oh I!
dear no, nothing of the sort it was be-
cause cut up turkey. SO well p
A WAC went to the STATEN of one of
the railroads one evening, and finding
the best car full, said in low tone,
"Why, this car isn't goingr' Of course
this caused general stampede, and the
wag took the best seat. In the midst
of the indignation the wag was asked :
"Why did you say this car wasn't GO
ing?" "Well, it wasn't then," replied
the wag, "but it is now"
SIMPLIoITY.-A distinguished journal
list announces that he has positively re-
ceived the following request: "Sir, L
should feel much honored by having
your autograph for my album. If you
deem the request unwarranted on my
part, pray pardon me, but at the same
time send the refusal in your own hand
writing, and with your own signature,
that may know the refusal is au-
thentic."
"PA," said son to his father, "what
is meant by chip of the old block p"
Why, my son. do you ask the ques-
ton % Because 1 was in Enfield this
morning, and told them gentlemen
while hunting saw fifty squirrels up
one tree. They kept trying to make
me say that l did not see but forty-nine
and because 1 wouldn't say so they said
was chip of the old block. "Hem
Well, my son, they only meant that you
were smart and honest, like your pa.