The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1874-10-08
LAUGHABILITIEs.

maternal knee.
Ministers of the interior-the cook
and the doctor.
The vilest sinner may return
thing save an umbrella.
The pillows in the Duluth hotels are
SO large that travellers can hardly pocket
them.
Terre Haute claims to be ''the intel
lectual center of the world for big water
melons"
Josh Billings says: s'Tew enjoy a
good reputashun, Civ publicly AID
steal privately"
Susan B. is cleared by reclamation.
Every man in Amarica held up both
hands and said: 'sOh! pshaw!"
The oder of Brooklyn sanctity is SO
strong that when the wind is from the
East, New Jersey people shut down
their windows.
A circus lion is roaming around Yves
ton, Missouri, and people have a good
excuse for remaining away at prayer
meetings.
There's boy in Detroit who has firm
unless they have circuses up there.
The Shakers of New York number
eighty less than two years ago, and they
have got to throw away their single bed
steads or become an extinct sect.
King Gomba, of Africa, has made use
of the new cable to say to Boston: "Las'
missionary just been put to bake /; rather
thin, send something corpulent.
Out West here we don't get red be
hind the ears and holler: "Who PAID the
WoodhuIls' fare to Europe9" We are
simply thankful that they went.
"Of course we couldn't have him
roaming around here and putting on
Congressional airs says a Nevada
paper in explaining how horse-thief
came to his end.
ANY Western youth who hasn't Sc
lected his sleeve buttons for fall weal'
should begin to stir around before the
close of navigation raises the figures on
frelghts.
The relatives of Captain Ryan, of the
Virginius, want $500, 900 as compensa-
ton for his death. Half million dol
lars is better than nothing, but why
didn' they put in for his full value?
A Snowman whose notices called for a
few fat boys to ''feed his cannibals, re-
ceived card from man saying that he
couldn't spare his boys, but he had
GOOD esstall-fed mother-in-law" that he
thought would suit.
A minister approached mischievous'
urchin about twelve years old, and lay
ing his hand upon his shoulder, thus
addressed him; ''My son, [ believe the
devil has got hold of you 81 believe
he has, toe" was the significant reply of
the urchin.
''Must I appeal to the cannon and the
to secure any rights?" asks Mrs.
W. W. Walker. Gracious no! mother
haul in the slack of those green pants,
spit Oh your hands and make a square
of it.
The New York Times claims to have
an editor who can write three columns
of .ssolid" per hour, but Sandtsky has
mill which grinds up forty bushels OF
in fifty-six minutes, and the
'bagas are of some use afterwards.
Boston men can't believe what they
see. One Of them had to feel of q steam
auger in Chicago-to see if it was really
whirling. It really was, and three or
four of his fingers fell down behind an
alderman's cravat.
An English paper says that the Ameri-
can army is ga set of slouches. Has
the American eagle skulled into hen
coop, or does he still soar aloft and
scream? Open your..beak, old boy, and
talk to 'eln once!
Last Thursday shere wasn't single
horse ssswap" at Ptttsfeld, Mass, for
the first time in six years, and the IN
habitants felt as lonesome as If it were
Sunday.
No use sending this paper any more
poetry on Susan B. She's come out OF
the crucible as tough and shining as
tin ear.
When Adam met Eve he was smit,
and when Eve met Adam she was smlt.
Then they were both smit, which is
German for Smith. Now we know why
it is that, when man is not named any
thing else, his name is as above.
A hasty man, with his arms full of his
wife's baggage, thought he was left by
the train last night. and running rapidly
across platform, fell over truck. He
straddled one of the handles and rode it
for second, Iunged forward and got
his legs tangled up in the crosspieces,
when the malicious thing reared up and
slid forward just enough to throw the
man off his balance and get him down ;
he blacked his eye and broke his specta-
cles against the handle, and ran over his
foot with the wheels, and even after he
got away from it and was seated In the
car, he says the truck ran after him and
kicked him twice in the ribs before the
brakeman could take it away from him.
TRADITION has it that once in the cen
turtles gone by there lived a people
-, for+ o1orro,,oo oD1 O reasonably