Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-03-13
THAT NEW VELVET HAT.

i Olu CO.On2t W, formerly aWcl
known character in enc of cur eastern
cities, was remarkable for one laSsiol
out Of the ordinary range Of humanity
ana that was. for buying any lot o
trunlwry which came under the hc;'t
OF miscellaneous for the reason tlla
it could not be classified.
Though ciosc-iisted in general terms
he was continually throwing ava.
money, in tivcs anl tens, on such trash
In this way, he filed all the odd corn
ers in his dwelling and ut-houses viii
y collection OF nondcsclirt articles
that would have puzzled a philosoplel
to tell what they were made for, or tt
what use they could be put. This, how
ever, was secondary consideration witt
the Colonel: fci' he seldom troubled
his head about articles after they were
fairly housed. Not so with his wife
ho""yer who was continually rcmon
strating ayaisst ti.ose purchases, which
served to clutter up the house, and as
food for the miith Of domcstics. But
the Colonel, though he often submitted
w (flNSS 4CIifOIiStItillIo vi OCtSl
half, could not resist th" passion; and
so he went on adding, from week to
week, to his heap Of misccllanies.
One day, while sauntcrin@ down the
street, he heard the rich, full tones OF
the auctioneer, and of course stepped
in to see what was being sold. On the
floor he perceived a collection, which
looked as if it might have been plr-
loincd from the galTet OF some museum.
and around which IL .:iv,l, ,Ao"r l~l
assembled: while o.: the counter stcod
the portly auctiomccr in the height OF
a mock indignant renonstraHcc with
the audience.
"Ninc dollars and ninety cents!'
cried the auctiOmeer; "Gentlemen, it is
a shame, it is barbarous, to stand and
permit such Il sacrifice OF property!
Nine dollars and ninety-Good-morn-
ing, Colonel! \ magnificent lot OF an
tiqucs, and all soing-going ior nine
dollars and ninety cents. Gentlemen,
You'll never see another such Il lott
and all Gcing-.,oing for nine !ollars
and ninety cents. Colonel W., can
YOU permit such Il sacrficeoi lToperty.'
The Colonel glanced his eye over the
lot, and then with nod and wink,
assured him that he could not. The
next instant the hammer came down,
and the purchase was hit ut ten dol
lars. As the articles were paid for and
to be removed Immediately, the Col
onel lost no time in getting a cart, and
having everything packed up and on
the way to the house. He proceeded
to lis own store, ,chuckling within him
self that now, at least he had made a
bargain, at which his wife could not
grumblc.
In due time the Colonel was seated
ut the dinner table, when lifting his
eyes he observed a cloud Oh his wife'S
brow.
"Well, my dcar,' said he inquiringly.
"Well," repeated his wife, it is not
well, Mr.. W.; l am vcNed beyond
endurance. You know G., the auction
eer!"
"Certainly," replied the Colonel,
"and a very gentlcmanly person he is,
too"
"You may think so,' replied his
wife, "but l don't, and will tell you
why. A few days ago, | gathered to-
gcther all the old trumpery with which
you have been cluttering the house for
the last twelve years, and sent it to
him with orders to sell the lot imme-
diatcly to the highest bidder, for cash.
He assured me he would do SO i'll all
this week, at farthest, and pay over
the proceeds to my order. And here
/ have been cOngratulating myself OH
two things; first, OH having got rid OF
u most intOlerablc nuisance; secondly,
on receiving money enough therefrom
to purchase that new velvet hat you
yromised me so long ago. And now
what do you think! This mornig,
about an hour ago, the whole load
came back without a word Of explana-
tiOnn
The Colonel looked blank for mo-
,ment, and then proceeded to clear up
the MYSTERY. But the good woman was
pacitied only by the promise OF ten
dollar note, besides that III the hands
of the auctioneer; on condition, how
ever, that she should never mention
it. OF course she kept her word.