The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-08-25

AAVW w JOW hhVW eNoE nhu one r hbkeu
aunt Susy, tartly.
why handsome woman like you,
aunty, said Nell Gorham, appeasingly,
"must have been pretty girl, and pretty
girls are never without beau, you know !"
"There now Did you everp' exclaim-
ed aunt Susy, with assumed disgust, but
glancing stealthily at the opposite mirror.
" Well, gals, the fact of it is, was
good-lookin' once. Robert Idkway said
once that was handsome as big pippin
apple and Joe Brown said that of all the
gals in the town he liked the looks of me
the best Them was tells worth havin'.-
There warnt no fellers to speak of, in
them times, round Squashtown. There
was Tim johnson, but he squinted all the
time as if he was loolSin' through spy
glass, and then there was Jerry Wheeler
Poor Jerry his nose was long enough to
bridge over the Merrimac river, any time !
1t would have been impossible for a pairson
of my temperature so romantic and full of
sensibleness, to have been happy with men
Of naturs so oncongenitive. Ye see, am
naturally of kinder high-fyin' turn-like
to see the subIimatories of natur' as pro-
hibited in the great mountains and the
roaring spatteracts ! Natur' is powerful
cretur and I'd rather see the ocean in
state of turpentine with the lashing of rude
Borax, than to gaze upon all the splen-
Righteousness of the Crystal Palace, or
Queen Victoria's red petticoat ! Thems
my sentiments ~
"But your beau ?" queried Kate.
"Sure enuff I'd about forgot. Now,
amt no great hand to go all round the
wood-shed a-tellin' anything. Some folks
is. There's old uncle Nat, for one. He's
been a powerful sailor, and he alters has a
great sight to say about furren countries.
He go to the Subterranean Sea, where all
the folks that liv' git swallered up in airth-
quakes, and from there to Mt. Chimbly-
Razor, and then back to the rock of Glib
Stalter to tell yon that he's got the tooth
ache For my part, I'm glad don't
know so much about the world Sakes
alive sich folks are enough to wear a
body out ! Circumbobberating the airth
after nothin' ~
"Yes, but the beauP" cried the three
girls at once.
CLAW me can't you wait? The world
wasn't made in day, no more'n got a
beau in that time and it amt best to drive
business! quite so much. Somehow you
won't seem to take no putin of, and if !
must tell ye, 'spose must. My beau's
name was rather peccooliar one--Seth
Moses Udozia Tumbottle. The boys-boys
are alters hateful-actioned critters-called
him by the four first letters of his four
rames-S. NJ. U. T-Smut. Seth Moses
was nice kind of a chap as you'd see any
where wore standin' dicky, and had
black hair and whiskers. He was power
full fond of verses, and alters carried book
writ by friend of his, Mr.. Byron, or some
sich name. Twan't no great thing though
precious little rhyme about it, and rhyme
is all the beauty of verses. Seth used to
drop into our house pretty often, to talk
cider. He had tremenjuous great eat
attic.
al was about the matter of nineteen
years old, then; and as smart a gal as
you'd see anywhere. could bake pies
and cakes, and spin and weave, and make
butter and cheese jest like book. Every
body was a-talkin' about how caperble l
was. Seth Moses mother got cold at a
trainin', and it settled on her lungs and
diagram, and the doctor said she'd got the
inflammation of the pleurisy, and it wasn't
long before she died and left Seth Moses
and his father, old Tumbottle, orfins. 1t
was kinder of sad case, no wimmen
folks about to look after their things and
folks said that Seth Moses was a-gwine to
git married. Old Tumbottle had fine
house, with pizarros and whitlows and in
vigorators all over it and there was a
famous big winder in the parlor, curtained
off from the rest of the room, that they
called the confectionary-a place to put
plants in, ye know. 1t was first rate
chance for any gal, folks said and father
and mother we're nigh bout crazy for me
to have Seth Moses. To tell the plain
truth, gals, shouldn't have been a mite
offended about doin' jest as my parents
wanted me to. It's one Of the Ten Com
mandments.
"Wall, as / sed before, was remark
able smart creeture-there amt many
smart gals nowadays. Folks did bring
up their gals to know nothin' of any con-
sequence; and the amount of it is jest this