American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-11-28
CURRENT ITEMS,
A BREEZY girl-The windlass.

CUkkEA IIEMS.
A BREEZY girl-The windlass.
HoDFELLows-Brickc carriers.
The tea-dealcr's motto--Honest tea.
A WAIST of time-That of a stout old
lady.
AN era unknown to women-The mid
die ages.
WHEN the good man dies nature feels
the drain.
WORDS that burn-The contents of our
waste basket.
If you plant puppy what would come
up-Dogwood
WHEN it rains hardest people catch
most soft water.
No ONE breaches better than the ant,
and she says nothing.
NEXT to a dairy the most difficult
thing to keep is a lead-pencil.
THE difference between dishonest
debtor and an importunate creditor is,
that one is do" and the other dun.
TENNESSEE funeral was delayed for
half an hour to allow horse trade.
Business before pleasure was the motto.
"a PLAY upon words" as the fire
man said when he thrust his hose into a
booksellers shop to put out the flames.
A Troy man worth $4,000 hung him
self the other day. If they must do it.,
that's the kind of men to go about it, as
it loOsens the currency.
A TEST of honesty-When an employer
sees a young man with good wages
spend all he earns he'd better look sharp
to see that he earns all he spends.
A MAN who was arrested for chopping
his son in two was defended by his law
yer on the ground that it was not
crime for man to part his heir in the
middle.
"PLEAsE, Mister, my fathers dead and
my mothers ruined away, and would
We let me and my sister suck cider
through Il straw out of that ere barrel O.
yourn?"
Mrs. PARTINGToN writes to say that
she can't make out why all the 'help"
she gets are so stupid when she is always
particular to obtain them from an intel
ligence office.
AN Indianapolis night policeman has
been presented with a neat little jeweled
alarm clock to wear in his coat-pocket
and wake up by when the hour for going
off duty arrives.
RECENT statistics show that tailors,
Notwithstanding the crOss-legged atti-
tude, are long lived. This is evidently
in accordance with the Darwinian theory
of the survival of the fittist."
"SHoRT and pudgy women ought not
to wear ts"-Fashion Notes. This is
good advice thrown away. There is not
a woman in the world who believes it
applies to her. "Short and pudgy"
ROUND short skirts for walking suits
are meeting unexpected favor, and mo-
distes predict that before the spring
they will be cut of really convenient
Inr nth HOY CT n1R hn
ground.
\ YOUNG man has been arrested in New
York for sleeping in a standing position.
He would stand on the street for four
hours at stretch with his eyes closed,
and not move II muscle. 1t is hereditary.
His father was policeman.
A RUSTIC youngster being asked out to
take tea with a friend was admonished
to praise the eatables. Presently the
butter was passed to him, when he re-
marked: Every nice butter-what there
is of it." and observing smile he added,
q" and plenty of it-such as it is"
AN old lady, on hearing that young
friend had lost his place on account of a
misdemeanor, exclaimed: Miss Demean-
or! Lost his place on account of Miss
Demeanor! Well, well, Pm afraid it's
too true that there's allus n woman at
the bottom of mans difficulties"
A WESTERN editor having been invited
to a masquerade ball given by a club in
the town where he lived, in acknowledge
ing the invitation said: "There is a
quiet sarcasIl, though of course not in
tended, in inviting country editor who
has but one suit, and that poor one, to
such an affair without accompanying the
with the necessary clothes"
Gas YOUR skill in your profession is SO
great" said person to a celebrated
"why do you not cure all the
diseases of the human body?" my
skill may be great" replied the anato-
are like the porters of a town, who are
with all the streets but are
ignorant of what is passing in the
houses"
AN old man in Virginia was travelling
along "A road followed by his wife. By
some means her clothes were set on fire
by the pipe that she was smoking, and
she was burned to death. The old man,
who was some way ahead of her, knew
nothing of the accident until some men,
finding the body, overlook him and
brought him back. After surveying the
charred corpse a few minutes, "Humph!
| told her she'd better leave her pipe at
home" was his touching comment.
A GROCER In Detroit keeps ntle
brown Jug" near his cider barrel, and
when he wants to do the fair thing by
customer he mingles some of the con-
tents of the aforesaid jug with the cider.
He made mingle for an old farmer,
but got in great deal of whisky and a
very little cider. About an hour after
the farmer was observed lean
ing against fence, and was heard to
soliloquiZe: ats too late for sun strokes
and too early to freeze to death, and l
guess it's touch of the shakin' ager."-
Detroit FREE Press.
A CONTRIBUTOR to an English maya
zine explains that the three holes in the
shell of "A cocoa nit, which give it such a
comic resemblance to monkeys head,
are for the purpose of allowing the
young tree to issue from the shell when
the nut is planted. Thus are the mys
cries of this wonderful fruit gradually |
made clear to the common understand |
ng. We know the design of the three |
loles; we long ago had the milk in the |
she'll accounted for, and there now re-
mains to be explained only the purpose |
Of the hair on the outside thereof. Let |
he savants proceed.-Chie"go Times.