The Portland daily press., 1874-01-10
The Mad Barber.

the unfiuehed points was the one most to be
dreaded, both from the tardiness OF the con-
yeyance employed and theterribly rough roads
which were encountered on the way. so
when after several hours of unceasing rout
and roar, over a comparatively easy line,
the train stopped and the conductor sung out,
eAlI ready for the stage!' l could see
frowns and grimaces spring up and dlf1use
themselves over all the countenances sur
rounding me, with but one memoraple eN-
cepton.
This very fact drew my attention more
particularly to him, as even my generally
smooth temper had experienced something OF
d shock at the mere mention OF the vehicles
in question.
We reoccuped our seats, and, after few
moments of patient waiting, the car was
cleared and we got out without any further
adventure or trouble. As we reached the
temporary platform accidentally observed an
old gentleman, who had evidently spent
most of bis ime in the mining districts, make
a frantic leap at the stage door, and in so
doing bis coat became entangled in some iron
hooks attached to the the rear Of the stage,
and now presented a yerv deplorable appear
ance, to say the least of it. He looked at it
intently for few moments, and then as If
suddenly struck by the magnitupe OF the cal
amity, burst into the most terribly irreverent
denunciation OF railroad and stage coaches
that it had been my fortune to hear for many
d udy. his companion loOkeu dt HIN lul-
plorlngly as he took an adjoining seat, bat
without beneficial result The old fellows
was up and he was bent on making the best
of it.
''By the way" said my acquaintance, whose
name was Armadel, ''this is just the thing
for us. would not miss ride with that old
customer for the livliest fox chase in the
whole of tie Ingleside." He evidently was
an Englishman:
But" protested l, ''you cannot be in earn
est? We would not have a moments peace
the whole way"
'Indeed / am," he replied; "don't you
mind that exhibition he is just like any 9TH
er over heated boiler-his steam must escape.
This went last long,
And even as he spoke the mner-for so we
shall consider hlm-gave evident signs of let
ting up, and in few mintues had quite sub
sided, with the exception of an occasional
grunt.
We now turned our attention to getting
our baggage aboard, which was accomplished
In few moments. We then got into the
coach with, l acknowledge, some fears on my
part as to the possibility of our neighhors
proving pleasant company.
L now had ansopportuniGy of examining Ar
madels features, and fear that the impress
sion produced upon me at the time was any
thing but favorable; still his viyacity and evil
dent reconciliableness to unpleasant crcum-
confidence and consideration.
What most surprised me about his counte-
nance was deep line or scar extending from
the lower part of his righG eye entirely across
his cheek disappearing under his chin. If
scar, he had certainly made a narrow escape
from death at some past time. L felt an al
most irresistible desire to inquire into his past
history, and especially as to the accident
mentioned. but before could make up my
mind to approach such painful subject, my
attention was diverted to the conversation of
the two passengers opposite US, tete-G-tete
which, slngularly enough, led to the solution
of the very problem over which I had been
puzzliUg myself.
The old fellow had evidently broken out
afresh; but, instead of ranting, had quietly
merged his indignation into general discuss
sion with friend eoncering economy and the
ever'reeurring necessity of a new suit of
clothes. Armadel had also become interested
and seemed very much amused at the earnest
manner and emphatic CALCULATIONS of the
the miner. As soon as he paused Armadel
looked over encouragingly, and, by an occa-
sional facial assent to the miners views,
gradually ngratiated hnlselfinto their notice,
and finally ventured to enter into the CONVEX
satiOn.
''The trouble,' said he ISIS that we are so
careless at times that it would take Il remark
ably stout quality of goods to withstand it.
Would you believe it?' he continued, II
have worn this nose tor over ten years, and
as you see, it gives no signs of wearing out
yet" .s
He laughed and replied, ''Oh, that is very
different, matter altogether"
NO." said Armadel, 'I am not ioking.
Look closely, and you will see that the great
er part OF my pose is artificial; in short, moth
ing more nor less than India rubber.
So, upon looking more closely we saw that
he really spoke the truth, as the juction, was
very d stinct. The India rubber being held in
position by some artificial MEANS
''If you would like to hear the history of
that accident, am at your service The cir |
cumstances are rather singular, and will I
PROBABLY interest you." said he, turning to /
M. |
We all gave our consent. He settled him 1
sell into comfortable position, and after +
some tttle pause, began the narrative of his /
misfortune. At first l was somewhat inClin- /
ed to smile at his seemingly dislnterested /
manner OF treating the matter; but, as his |
story advanced, he became gradually more /
earnest, and quite absorbed my attention, as \
well as that of our fellow passengers. He /
commenced thus:
en- years ago was residing in Paris {
longer in any place. One evening. faw davs
before my intended departure. weary with /
the almost intermiuable rouno of dIsSination |
III Wnlch l had been indulging for some time I
a.ld thinking OF no other plan at the time bv
Which could relieve the monosony, start
Gu on stroll, not caring whitaker went, nor
Ieellng any apprehension as to the probable
whereabouts Of its termination. NV journey
for some time was down one of the principal
boulevards, where the usual scene of fashion
and pleasure met my eye ON every side |
Felt keen delight in my perfect isolation from |
the world. Here l was in large city, know
Ing out few persons, and very little probabih-
ity of my meeting any of them in such
crowded thoroughfapa.
so, perfectly lost within myself wander
ed on lor about an hour, until at last began
to tire Oh the never-haggne hustle aud noise
which oeSet me on every side and without |
thiuking for moment, turned Off into a s;ele |
street. leading L knew not whittier. But. ! |
was in for it, and determined to explore IL 70 |
the eud. At first the shops on either side
presented brilliant appearance, with their |
tastefully arranged show windows and daz- |
Zling miro s, but as my footsteps advanced +
these signs of refinement and splendor began |
TO diminish, ard the further / went the more |
dingy and tumble down appearance did ev- |
erythinS present. A bright idea struck me: !
that it would be great thinr O lose mvself +
and, utterly careless, turned corner aftn,,
corner until was lost to my entire sat;Sfoc-
tion. '1'"0
Ihe sun had now gone down. and here .nd
there the street lamps were being Tohted
wnlch, II awning, added more sOmbre and
lonely appearance to everything around me-
Now and then passed wine sbon wifi.
in which l supposed a few of their regnIar
customers were congregated, but as il was
then quite early, none of them had vet drank |
sufficient to make them particularly hilarious
SILL on | went. noticing but little. and annar.
emily observed by no one.
90 completely had L become absorbed in
,a my own h .ooushts, that did not notice a gut
verv nrohahla iJa across the sidewalk, and, as a
was only saved from falling bv tbe friendlv anu in
terventon of a lampposts " sne lliendly IN
covered myself and was about nru,a,eiy mna,e fe,
barber shop Standing in
All good evening. sir; you have
met with an accident.v nave nearly
Yes" ! -eturned; ''but it will teac,
- ee NOR arein', for tonight, at any rate @ !,
..uoI, An! a are an Engisbman," said be