Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-12-02
The Betrothed Lovers Purgatory.

ter of fact, many engaged " persons
may be said to live in mild sort of pur
gatory, which even many kisses ant
caresses cannot render anything more
than barely endurable. Take the case
! of an ordinary engaged young man. and
what can be more melancholy? There
are, as a rule, some halfscore of people
whom he is bound to propitiate. At the
same time he may hate them-and
justly-with as great cordiality as he
loves the maiden whom he wishes to
marry. He must, perforce, be civil to
the papa and mamma of his intended
wife. Yet he may be perfectly well
aware that the papa is c skinfint,
about whom the strongest thing in the
way of commentator that can be said
is that he is strictly honorable in busl-
ness, as if man deserved any credit
for not making himself q Thoroughbred
cheat. 1t may be remarked, by the way,
that such is the low tone of morality
prevalent nowadays, if man is not an
absolute knave, though he may be stingy
and cheese-paring to the last degree, it
seems to be thought by many people that
he should have all his faults condoned
and be held up to the admiration of a
large circle of friends. The bridegroom
chat is to be may know, further, that the
serubby papa will have something to say
when the question Of settlements is
brought on to the carpet, and that he
will not dover his daughter with larger
portion than he can help, if, indeed, ne
does not skillfully get out of lowering
I her with anything at all. The luckless
lover may, also, be perfectly well aware
that the mamma is one OF those dear
in more senses than one-creatures who
are never happy unless they are man
aging other peoples affairs. He may be
| fully conscious that the amiable dame
regards him with something very much
like suspicion, and that she is convinced
that he and her daughter will never
be able to get on without her as
sistance and advice. He may, indeed,
see in the distance a day in which he
will have to fight pitched battle with
the generous hearted female, during the
course of which he will be compelled to
intimate, in very plain terms, that when
he wants advice he will ask for IT, and
that he is determined to be his own
master.
Meanwhile, he is bound to smile atthe
majority of her aggravating efforts.
Then there are his lady loves brothers.
To them, also, he has to assume friendly
if not absolutely cordial demeanor. If
some unlicked cub plays upon him a
diabolical practical Joke, he can do
nothing but absurdly grin at the wretch.
When a brother OF another type seems
disposed to treat him in q supercilious
fashion, and to show that he only toler-
ates him for the sake of his sister, the
unfortunate engaged young man is
bound to simulate a blindness that is
simply preposterous in being profess
ing to have any sense at all. Again, if
third brother ofyet another sort, whose
principal characteristics are a love for
bad company and talent for getting
into scrapes, selects him as his confidan
and friend-the attendant consequences
of this are not easily forgotten--what
can the poor victim do but laugh and
pray for a speedy deliversnce from all
his troubles2 Then there are his be-
trothed's sisters, who are inclined to dis
like him because he has not shown a
preference for them instead of her to
whom he is engaged. They are ever on
the alert to pick out the weak places in
his armor, and gladly give him sharp
prioks when he is least prepared to bear
them. Still he has to pretend that he
loves these ladies' as il they we're verify
his sisters. He is made to feel that
everybody looks upon him as an inter
loper, and think that the sooner he takes
the bride sway to den of his own the
better it will be foF all parties. of
course papa and mamma are, after
fashion Of their own, civil to him ia re-
turn for his elusive polite attentions to
them. But when he is talking business
or politics with papa, domestic economy
with mamma, amusement with the
brothers, and everything in general With
the sisters, he cannot avoid seeing that
he is. in nine cases out Of ten, successful
only as a bore. he knows and they
know that, after he has been safely mar
ried and done for, be will drop into that
insignificant position which be is most |
fitted to adorn and which is most con-
ducive to his comfort. Under these cir
cumstances he may be excused if he |
longs for the time when he may pat be |
called upon 70 appear smiable when be
feels the reverse, when he may not have |
to spend hours in conversing with peo-
pie with whom he has no sympathies in
common, aud when, in short, be may not
have p aei the pert Of thorough going
humbug.