The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-07-23
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
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THERE is a time for all things. The
time for boy to run away from school
and go fishing is when his folks have conf
pany to ten.
THE difference between muzzling and
muslin is, that when dogs are dressed in
| muzzling men feel safe; when women are
| dressed in muslin, men 60 mad.
DIR. CUYLER wants all young ladies to
band together and say: No lips shall
touch mine that have touched a bottle y
| Rather rough this on the fellows that were
| brought up by hand.
Mr.. BEECHER has discovered a remedy
for somnOlency in church. IL consists of
sitting down at home, in a rocking chair,
about the time the second bell rings, and
taking out nap there.
TENNYsoN saws that Miller is the great
est American poet, and Miller says Tenny-
son is the greatest English poet. \ man
couldn't improve on that If he sat up all
night.-Detroi; Free Press.
AN Albany man who was demonstrating
to a crowd that there was no such thing
as hydrophObia, was the first TO shin up
barber's pole when a small yellow dog
came rushing down the street.
OLD PROBABILITIES is unusually pig
headed this year, sending rain where it is
not wanted and Withholding it where it Is
thought 70 be needed. NotlOng since there
was an uninterrupted rain for fourteen days
on the Atlantic Ocean.
NEWLY ordained deacon: Il suppose
you generally make longer coats for men
who hold extreme viewSg' Clerical tall
=. -.
a long coat but with that coat. | assure
you, you may hold any views You like!'
A MILWAUKEE boy has swallowed halt
a dozen steel buttons, and his mother
doesn't have to scream for him when he Is
out in the street playing with those Cluck-
ersOn boys. She just brings a magnet TO
the door, and he flies to it like the needle
to the pole.
A BURLINGTON Board of Trade man got
into trouble by letting his business weigh
too heavily on his mind the other night.
His wife heard him murmur in his sleep,
" Ella, dear Ella fOndly and tenderly,
and as her name is Mehitable, she woke
him with the bald end of the hair brush.
and asked him who? i" was thinking of
Ella Vator,'" the wretched man said
calmly, and chuckled off to sleep again.
A CoUNTRYMAN visiting a theater on
looking carefully at his play-bill after the
conclusion of the first act, read that three
months elapsed before the commencement
of the second. He at once went to the
money-taker and said, Beg pardon, sir,
but must ask you 10 return my money.
I'm obliged to get back home tomorrow,
so that, you see, can't manage to stop for
your second act"
BILL WHALEY recently died in a CalifOr-
mia pOOr-hOuse, and he formerly drove a
stage-cOach in that State. He wouldn't
own a horse that had more than enough
skin to cover his bones. and through
which the moral law could not be read.
His animals were queer geOmrtrical puZ-
of angl, 5, right, obtuse
and acute. One day he came driving into
UniOutOwn at full speed, and just as he
drove up i'm front of the hotel one OF his
horses dropped dead. - I hat was a very
sudden DEATH" remarked a byStander.
- Sudden ~ replied Capt. Bill. "That
horse died i'm SHiithland, nine miles from
here; but | never let him drop until | got
him in town."