The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-03-31
Se,,se mi enoqseuse.

tstF 4
A chest-protee.or-A good paddock
In-tents excitement Panic ID cir
Gus.
A Mississippi 2ostmistress has dis.
CHARGED hersiusband from a clcrkship
for negligence.
Wasting sweetness-Patting your
arm about d pretty woman.
Lets 90 and inaatc," is the way the
s,atesmenin Washington put their con-
yiyial iiasltas1ons pow
! s i csia qior dealer Of Brook.
lyn advertises tsfles for .the reiicf of'
the Philadelphia Centennial.
A man who had been to a crowded
bail said lie was fond of rings on his
fiji GERS, lut be didn't like bellies on his
toes
Cooing is well enough before mar
riaee, but the billing doesn't come till
after-and then it comes from the
tradesmen.
Adam had one consolation when lie
fell. Fifteen or twenty acquaintances
didn't stand on the opposite corner and
laugh at his mi>hap
Icelan;'s millennial celebration will
be big affoir, and it's one of those
things that fellow only goes to once
in lifetime.
II is pleasant to notice Miss Hope,
of England among the guests at the
Windsor hotel. We ALWAYS liked Wind
sor's Hope.
If it wasn't for Andy Johnson there
wouldn't be any ex President living
Obstinacy WAS always popularity OF
Andy's.
1t Is rule of etiquette in Arkansas
that no true gentleman will eat with his
leg thrown over the back of his neigh
boris chair, if ne can help it.
Indiana has a new kind of beef, which
is called "hat-rack," and signifies beef
so lean that you can hang your hat on
the bones.
An Indiana woman says that no one
would believe how smart and industri.
Gus her husband has become since she
got to keeping three-tined pitcbfork
behind the door.
During recent freshet in Connceti
cut, an editor telegraphed another at the
scene of action, "Send me full particu.
lars of the food" The answer came
"You will find them in Genesis
"Why do you use paint ?" asked 8
violinist Of his daughter "For the
same reason that You use rosin, papa'
"How is that p "Why, to help me-
draw my beaur'
IszsAn Atlss,zet.ss s,ss:sSs
ed the following reply fr5tA an advanced
free school lad to the query: 'How i.
the earth divided ?" "Bv earthquakes
!. sir p
| Maryland girls won't marry In III,
full of the moon, believing that they
would have i.l-luck through life; but
Massachusetts girl wouldn't let fort,
| full moons stop her ten seconds.
| Ohio men don't ask each other nov
to go in and have something to drink
but maintain personal friendship b,
passing around haudfuls of magnifi
Gently developed peanuts and gun
drops Detroit Free Press.
An ambitious young lady was talkin!
. about her tavorite authors, when a lit
erary chap asked her if she liked Lamb
With look of ineffable disgust, sh,
answered that she cared very littleab
what she ate, compared with knowledge
1t is noticed that the President orig
mated new metaphor in his centennia
message, when he says the Declaration
of Independence "launched US into th
galaxy of nations" Sir Boyle Roeh
couldn't have done better.
f After long study of some "expectane
. tables" which life.insuranee frien
' forced upon him, Quiz says he can't Sc
) how it is that so very few people di
a after they get to be ninety or a hundre
a years old
t Some men never loose their presenc
/ of mind. In Milwaukee, last week,
t man threw his mother-in law odt of
t window in the fifth story of burnin
t, building ,and carried feather bed dow
stairs IN bis arms.
: 81 am weary of life; bury me deep |
the hillside" wrote young man of d.
buque. But they pumped him out, an
d the same night he went to the circu
: and laughed until he cried at the antie
i of the trick mules. Such is life!
:, Two deacors once disputing about
= proposed new graveyard, ,one remarked
"l'll never be buried in that groun
= = as long as live!''
What an obstinate man, said I'll
other. "lf my life is spared, I ail."
ri A genius was explaining the utili
q Of an india-rubber ship which he W:
;, inventing, when an old salt exclaimed
!, mo, no it will never do; an india-ru1
Der ship would rub out all the lines
latitude and longitude, to say nothir
of the equator"
- A Kentucky legislator who had bee
;. absent from his seat for several ola,
:, was asked what had been the matter
g ''Well, folks call 1t nervous chills; OF
:, ers pronotmce it kind Of an sffectc
- Of the heart; but; to be candid, | call
- q plain case of old fashioned drunk"
m The New York Almanack says :
NJ Poor, but dishonest Young boys, fastt
d wrought nails to the end Of strings, a.
r. harpoon sweet potatoes end apples fro
,e their abiding places in from. of IL
l. stores. This may be considered spol
5. hut it is the first step to the dowawa
1t road to Congress"
l, A patriotic woman in Burlineto
of reading in the papers that some wotn
a in Davenport had hair thirty one irch
= long, Immediately sent to Chicago f
of some thirty-three inches long. b.
of Iinston isn't going to be beaten on 10,
ie hair, if her daughters know themsclvt
A lippler who had his load on, "fetc
cd up against the side of d hou
lie which had been newly painted. Sho
er ing himself clear by vigorous efro
p he took glimpse at his shoulder, a
id other at the house, a third at lis hal
r, and exclaimed, swell. that is cal
II lasa trick in whoevar paintnd thnt n o,,.