The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-04-04
HUMOROUS.
-old yarns-Darned stockings.


make living. D.. 1877" ~.
sprayed out of town." are the
words nailed on the doors OF several
saloons in Xenia, Ohio. '-.'-
Speaking Of becoming attire, what
thing is most likely to becomea woman?
Why, little girl, of. course.
-"I'm particularly uneasy on this
point, said the fly to the young gentle
man who struck him on the end Of a
needle. "'
Nan is fleeting paradox, which
the fullness Of time can alone explain;
living engima, Of which the solution
will be found in death. '.'' p =
eff a naughty girl should hurt you.
like a good girl you would forgive her,
wouldn't you? ayes, marin" she re.
piled, "if I couldn't catch her."
The Danbury philosopher observes,
that the placidity ofexpression worn by
a man who Is "next" inai iull barber's
SuOp CANNOT Do cOunterfelteQ.
Mrs. Smith, says her husband Is
like tallow candle, because he will al
ways smoke when he is going out. And
she might have added: because; he Is
lightheaded when he comes In. sr .rrs
--"Ochi" said q love-sick Hibernian,
"what recreation it is to be dying of
lovel 1t sets the heart aching so delicate.
ly there's no taking wink Of sleep for
the pleasure of the painl", .@t as4 h'a
Some scientific wretch has beef
suggesting that: when a physician sup
poses his patlen to be dead, he ought to
pierce the heart of the supposed depart.
ed with long needle, to make sure
work of it. AS IL doctors did not know
how to make sure work Of their p ,tients
with out such experiments! We protest
against any innovations upon the estab-
lished method Of medical procedure in
facilitating our exit from this sublunary
sphere. ,.-., .4. ,lr.,, -.f,....f ..-.-.s.,. "A
N-There is an Old darkey In one of
the back counties who lately voted for
local option, as he understood it, but
not as the public generally understand
it. The story, a true one, runs thus:
At recent election friend asked the
old man how he was going to vote.
"Oh," the replied, "the Republican
ticket, / always vote that ticket"
"But how are you going to vote on
local option?" The darkey looked up
and asked: whats that2, "Why.
local option is putting down liquor"
was the reply. "Lors a massy.'' said
the darkey, "of course vote for local
option; votes to put down liquor TO
the old price, fp-penny-bit o pint!"
Not very unlike his paler bretliern Is
that very same old darkey. 7v5 a.uiaa
The plaintiff in q recent case at
court was asked what he expected 10
gain by such suit. His reply was,
"You have heard of the man who,
going down the river In O fiat boar,
moored the boat one day to the bank,
and, going up into the timber, found
man engaged climbing first one tree.
then rapidly decendlng (and OCCASION
ally falling,) aud running to another
tree and repeating the operation. Con-
tlnuing this for some time, the fiat-boat
man approached the stranger (belng
curious to know the object OF his
strange manevres), and asked what he
was doing. The stranger, pointing to
Noodpecker on the topmost branch,
asked the fiat-boat man II he saw that
woodpecker. Yes. said the other,
but you certainly do not expect to
catch it?' "No, of course not. said
the stranger, but / will worry 1t, ;"
-Itis said that the Chinese declare
that Noah's real name was All Boo,
and that he resided 10 Pekln. Unfor-
tuna.ely Noah's family Bible was lost
in the food, and we cannot ascertain
from 1t exactly what his name was,
His door plate also seems to be missing,
and he had very careless way of neg
Letting to mark his shirts; so we are
baffled in that direction. We have In.
qulred at the libraries for q copy OF tho
Pekin directory of that date, to see II
Noah really figured in. it's pages; the
only copy any of them had was out.
For our part, we do not believe that his
name was All Boo, or that he resided
in Pekin. These Cinnamon really claim
everything that Is going, from eunpowd-
er up to newspapers. II we give them
any ground on the Noah businets. ne
6rst thing ws know they win be out
with the assertion that the ark was IN
sured Ia the Pekin Mutual Company.
and that Noah used to give the Pekin
newspaper people free tickets to 90 m