Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-30

0eWIldered. 1he tone OF the maScu-
line voice was not familiar to my ear.
and | could hardly account for the
feminine voice, as the doctor is a
widower. But l nevertheless asked
if the doctor was at home. At that,
the masculine voice suggested that l
had better ring the doctors door-bell
and find out; it was certainly very
stupid to make the mistake, but l
was somewhat confused after my diff
ficult walk, and then was nervous as
l thought of our baby at home.
However, 1 apologized and ex-
planned, but while l was doing it the
parties at the window slammed it
down. I did not feel called upon to
make any further explanation, but
sprang up the doctors steps and pull
ed his bell.
They seemed to be sleeping very
soundly in that block, for I had to
ring four times before ] reused the
doctor. He opened the second story
window at last, and after suggesting
that if 1 was trying to jerk off his
bell-pull, / had better say so, he ask
ed who l was. The doctor is getting
old and peculiar; and then l don't
suppose it is pleasant to be called up
on to answer bell at two o'clock
in the morning. But then, amt he
paid for it? However, I overlooked
the reference to the bell-pull, and said
it was ''me."
"Me! who the mischief's me?"
said the Doctor.
/ supposed that he knew my voice;
but he alleged that he did not, and
so said that "me" was Smith.
"Smith! what Smith, says the
Doctor.
Now that was absurd! know that
the name of Smith is reasonably
common; but the Doctor needn't
try to make out that he has nobody
but Smiths on his list of patients.
However, l answered that / was
ct. Adolphus Smith,. And how
like fool 1 felt! Only think of
having to holler out, ''T. Adolphus
SMITH" at two O'Clock in the morn
ing. 1 felt certain that somebody
was listening at every window in the
block.
But the Doctor, satisfied whom 1
was, said:
'Well, what do you want?'
From the way he said it one
might think that he had been pa
tiently waiting up there, and giving
me chance to tell.
But didn't answer curtly. On
the contrary, l said:
THE BABY IS sICK?'
"What baby" said he. Now,
how absurd! As if / would 90 pok-
ing down there at the hour, and
through rain and ice, for any baby
but our own baby. But l neverthe-
less replied, with perhaps a touch of
vexation in my tone, that the baby
under consideration was my own
baby.
"What is the matter with it?'
says he.
Now I began to wish that he
would come down to the door.
didn't want to be hollering out what
was the matter with our own baby,
so that the whole neighborhood
could be informed as to its ailments.
And just then a policeman came
along, stood in front of the house,
and looked at me as though he felt
sure l contemplated burglary
People are SO apt, you know, to
stand at the front door, and ring the
bell, when their designs are burglari-
Gus.
AS matter of precautionary ex-
but perhaps iniudiciously,
1 said to the aforesaid policeman that
was sail right" and then he said:
"What!" and then the Doctor said:
"What!' And the policeman, who
didn't see the Doctor
SAID: "What the thunder are you
talking about?" And then 1 said to
the policeman that 81 said / was all
right" And then he wanted to
know who said l Iwasen't?n
1t was getting dreadfully mixed
up. But just then the Doctor, who
evidently saw the policeman, hal
looed: eco about your business!
The policeman evidently saw the
Doctor, and "moved on" after first
striking the lamp-post most un-
necessary blow with his club.
But 1 thought that the Doctor had
addressed his last remark to me,
and being pretty well worked up by
this time, 1 said: "Not at all, sir, l
have told you that our own baby is
sick and needs your professional at
tention!'
"Well," said he, "haven't been
trying to make you tell what is the
matter with it?''
Isaw 1 had made a mistake, and
so I said:
"Oh," says l, 4 thought you were
speaking to me"
t''Well, for Heavens sake, amt 1
speaking to you!" said, or rather
roared the Doctor.
"The baby is SICK" says I. ''Its
little stomach kind of sticks out, and
mother says she thinks she feels a
lump inside"
ellis what does what, and who
feels which," roared the Doctor.
How stupid? "Its stomach sticks
out," says |, and then l heard that
,onfounded policeman laughing.
"Sticks out where?" says the Doc
tor.
Now who would suppose that man
was Doctor!
Why in front to be surel" says l;
sand when 1 press it hard the little
thing wakes up and cries."
"What the duce do you press it
for then?" says the Doctor.
And then 1 heard that policeman
laugh again. A matter of life or
death. seemed to amuse him.
By this time l had lost all manner
of patience, and so, with considera-
BILE vehemence, / said: "Doctor our
own baby is very i'll! Will yoI, be
kind enough to come to the door!