The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-12-25
Pith and Point.


COOP bread is often much kneaded.
THERE are various stations in life.
but the least desirable is police sta
ton.
always what they appear They are
sometimes scanning.
WHAT is the difference between
wise man and a sailor? One is a far
seeing man and the other a sea-faring
man.
SOMEBODY advertises a preparation
for keeping lady's hands free from
chaps. A report that she has no money
would do the same thing.
LAST week st. Croix girl, in fit of
anger because she couldn't get her foot
into q small shoe, seized carving
knife and cut off her little toe.
AN Indiana Judge has decided that if
woman will shorten pie-crust with
butter at 3S cents per pound her hus-
band has good grounds for divorce.
AN improvident Danbury youth en-.
tertains high appreciation for the
State prison, which he regards as "the
only place where fellow is not dunned
for his board and washing every Satur-
day night.
FOND Wife: "John, dear, be sure
and don't waste your money on accident
insurance tickets" Husband Ga COM
mercial NAM: "Why, my love?" Fond
Wife: because You are never lucky
enough to be in collision y
A GENTLEMAN said to his gardener
George, the time will come when a
man will be able to carry the manure
for an acre of land in one of his waist
coat-pockets. To which the gardener
replied: 81 believe it, sir; but he will
be able to carry all the crop in the
other pocket"
AN Irishman used to come home often
drunk, and once when he was watering
his horse his wife said to him, "Now,
Paddy, is not that haste an example to
We? Don't you see he laves off when
he has enough, the crayther he's the
most sensible haste of the two" ooh,
it's very well to discoorse like that,
Biddy," cried Paddy, but if there was
another horse at the other side of the
trough to say, Here's your health, my
ould boy, would he stop till he drunk
the whole trough, think ye?"
A DETROIT woman called at one of the
book stores the other day, and said she
wenld like to take a look at some
"chro-moes," as she wanted to find
something to please Harvey, who had
worked on the farm all summer and
should be rewarded. Anything relig
ious ?" asked the clerk, as he ran over
lot of such chromos and engravings.
"Well, no, not exactly religious" she
answered. "Some OF. it might be SOL
emn-like, but down in the corner there
ought to be dog-fght, or a man falling
off barn, or sunthin' to kinder inter
est the young mind. :"
SANTA CLAUS POOR SPELL
Word came from the country where Santa Claus
dwels
That he alarmingly i'll;
And Fears Were expressed that he'd not be on hand
With presents the stockings TO fill.
The children had fanced the precious old saint
Secure from all moral mishaps,
And they said it was queer that at this time Of year
lie should have such dreadful collapse
50 Oh what shall doP" cried the little ones all.
With grief that they could not control:
" Oh what shall we do for our pennies are few
And there sat toy tnat is whole.
~ thought that hyd bring me wagon" said
Jack,
:" want new dolly said Jane.
/ looked for q sled this Christmas, - said Fred:
And they all II 10 crying again.
II won't be like Christmas, I'm certain of that"
Said young Master Frank with pout:
And the bells viii ding-dong monotonous song
II Santa Claus isn't about.
" I guess" said mamma, a. that the giant Despair
Came into our castle to-day
And filling with gloom every heart in this room,
Took all OF our sunshine away.
Dear Santa Clans doesn't like children that pout,
And make such a dismal ado
Because he, alack has pain in his back,
And feels much more wretched than you.
Z" \ smile on the face will do Santa Claus good
And help him, I'm sure, to ge, well
And our hearts may keep time to a musical chime
Though Santa Claus has poor SPELL"