The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-09-22
Srrse and Mupst,tse.

cheap.
Killing time must "a instant exc.
cution.
The minister of thd mtss5 The
mouth.
Thoughtful hospitality
an iiea.
A tea never INDUCED in by gossips-
Charity. dat'ai 2
The tailor's iditty: "Goosey, gooscY
gander." ~ 2
Really the very last things out-Ths
street lamps.
The pound of fesh-Maklng tough
steak tender.
The man who works with a will-TAe
probate judge.
Burglars advertisement-Goods care
fully removed.
The higher and the lore classes--La--
bourers and scholars
A chapter of accidents-Ths first
chapter OF Genesis.
Why are jokes like nuts f-Because
the dryer they are the better they crack
Why is beafsteak like locomo-
tive 70 It's not of much account with:
out it's tender.
A little girl said Of he- ill-tempered
uncle: ale hasn't got single laugh In
his face" -
Strange to say, no matter how well
paid a dentist is, he always looks d,wn
in the mouth ,r ~
Why is pair of skates like an applet
they both have occasionel
the fall of man.
Why are balloons in the air like va:
grants because they have no visi lie.
means of support.
A matter of fact old gent thinks it
must be very small baseball that can
be caught on fly.
Lazy California bar-tenders place the
ingredients OF cobler in tumbler, and
then wait for an earthquake To mix
them up.
A New Orleans colored lady remarks
that her husband holds the distinguish
ed position of supplementary on the
metropolitan police" E
An exchange refuses to publish the
poem commencing, Il breath on the
lace of a maiden," until the editor
knows what its author drinks.
An editor published long leader on
hogs. A rival paper in the same village
upbraids him for obtruding his family
matters upon the public.
A real estate owner, having LET all Of
his houses but one, was asked if that,
unlet house was his last ayes; last,
6st not leased,' was his reply. ~
A st. Louis paper apollo gizes for q
clerical error which occurred in an edi-
torial. These mistakes happen BY al.
lowing clerks to write leaders. ~
No matter how eagerly Brooklyn
young man rushes to fire, he will gen..
orally stop by the way to kiss his sweet.
heart good bye, but ne isn't any too
good to swear when she bawls at him
from the top Of the stairs, "Now, yeu,
sam,holl on till l get my face washed"
The "currency" man Of the Detroit
Free Press is ffty-ive years old and
bald-headed; is living with his Afth wife
and has nine children, three OF whom
are in the penitentiarY; and yet hs
doesn't know enough to stop lying and
behave himself sifafiAp52 v.riiy3iiIrf
We are told by the Saratogian thafa
Mrs Taylor, who has recently lost .
son, is visiting the watering places In
order to mitigate her grief.a1 tcg q; 9uit
Forty sermons in twenty-one DAYS
proved fatal to preacher recently de.
ceased. His hearers are yet 10 be heard
from.
A Milwaukee man stated that he
really needed some active, regular ex.
ercise. A friend suggested that he mix
his own cocktails. t.,.. M
The girls of Dansville persist in
flirting, and the editor of the Advert.
ser is almost DISTRACTED because they do
it mostly with entire strangers.
No wonder an Ohio jury gave an
Ohio woman $1,000 for having her
foot crushed by train-you ought to-
have seen.ths foot!
An Arkansan contends that during
the present high price of mutton man.
shouldn't feel much degraded ut being
called sheep thief.
A Chicago Times reporter, when stop.
ped by highwayman who demanded
his money or his life, promptly inquired
If the robber would take car tickets.
Napoleon w. is cultivatlng a very
lovely moustache, and this gives the
American girls who have seen it somes
thing to dream about. r..
Joaquin Miller is to be the heavy vii
lain in new English novel, The au-
thor of the novel has probably heen in
communication with Mrs. Miller.
Fewer children will be born in Ger
many hereafter than heretofore, because
Prince Bismarck insists that no more
children shall be named after him.
These are the evenings in which d.
man cannot enjoy himself like ration
al being for fear his wife will suddenly
come back from the country and catch
him OF 1t.
In Maine, the other day, the light.
ming struck negro square on the top
of bis head. The darkev was slightly
confused for a moment, and then wan
ted to know "who irowed dat brick p
One of the best preserved men OF his
time is Commodore Vanderbilt He at
tributes his condition to wearing WOOL
en- socks the whole year round, and
says they prevent the escape of elec.
tricity.
Queen Elizabeth had as many as four
teen hundred dresses at a time, and
hence, when she remarked to the Earl
Of Leicester, "rm your'n II you want
me- lie replied that he would rather
die than take the responsibility.
Actors in the Silver Dell opera house
don't much object to having rocks and
things chucked at them, hut when q
Chinaman comes into the gallery and
fires his pistol at the dragon in the PAN
'tomime it is time to get real mad.