The Arizona sentinel., 1874-10-24
MISCELLANY.

ing iron.
Pentwater, Michigan, should be
ealled Pentwhiskey now, for the
women there have forced every
FALCON in town to close up.
Mrs. Mary Strain, of Pittsburgh,
has married three brothers
n succession. She believes in
brotherly love.
A Boston clergyman expresses
The belief that every member Of
the last Congress sis destitute Of
Experimental religion"
That kind hearted gentleman
who presented an INDECENT fami-
v with two dollars in coin yester
day, was grieved to meet said
Family returning. from the circus
IA few hours later.
Almost every house in Northern
ITowa has a piano, but the only
thing played on them is ''seven
*up" and poker, when thew are
hot used as dining table by the
&lmily.
A gentleman, on presenting
lace collar to his adOred one, said
carefully: "DO not let any one else
rumple it," mo, dear, will take
it Of" she replied"
When a well known Omaha
thief meets a policeman and hands
him five dollars, it is the duty of
I he officer to go and sit down in
bn alley and see nothing for the
hext, hour-nothing but the five
|f1OllarS.
A young lady at a Western
temperance meeting said: "Breth.
rem and sisters, cider is a necessity
TO me, and I must have it. If it
is decided that we are not to drink
eider, shall get some young man
10 squeeze me, for ! cannot live
with out the juice of the apple"
An individual lately committed
suicide at a Partisan hotel. His
headless body was found in his
room, together with letter which
ran: 81 was bored and | have kill
ed myself Let no one be accused
bf my death. Do not look for my
head; l have hidden it myself, in
order not to be recognized"
""Now, then, Joseph. parse court
ng," said teacher to a rather
blow boy. "Courtin' is an irregu-
lar active transitive verb, indica-
live mood, present tense, third
berson, and singular number, and
30 on" said Joseph. "Well, but
what does it agree with?" de-
handed the teacher. sit agrees
with all the gals in town. trium-
.phantly exclaimed Joseph.
The ways of woman are past
finding out. II is said the ladies
bf Hartford have fashion of ty-
ng up their taper fingers when
young gentlemen are expected to
ball. and when they very natural
8 y ask the cause they blushingly
Remark: 81 burnt them broiling
teak this morning" The result
S that several young gentlemen
have burnt their fingers believ-
ng the story.
4 EDITING A PAPER.-Editing a
paper is a nice business,
IF we publish jokes, people
how XUp orn roftIGh haH
# we omit jokes they say we
re an old fossil.
If we publish original matter
hey damn us for not making Sc
ections
If we publish selections, folks
pay we are crazy for not writing
bomething they had not read in
pther papers.
If we gives man compliment
s airy notice, we are censured for
being partial.
If we do not give compliment.
ary notice, folks say we are a
hog.
If we insert articles that please
he ladies, men get jealous.
IF we do not cater to the wishes
# the ladies, the paper is not fit
3 o make bustles of.
If we speak well of the acts of
he powers that be, folks say we
Hare not do otherwise.
If we censure, we are called
renegade and traitor and sue us
Ion libel.
If we remain in our office and
ttend to business, folks say we
re too proud to mingle with our
Fellows.
If we 60 out, they say we never
attend 10 business.
4 If we do not pay our bills prom
billy, folks say we are not to be
trusted
If we do pay promptly, they say
I've stole the money.
If we wear poor clothes, they
Law business is bad.
If we wear good clothes, they
ay we did not pay for them.
Now what is a fellow to do?