Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-03-25
Humorous.
A CouSc11MAy CuRrAIS-LFcruREp-

- &4AAA~ ~ 1850
A COUNCILMAN CURTAIS-LKcTURKD.-
A prominent uptown Councilman, who
is hale fellow well met, upon return
ing home one night last week, was re-
galed by the dearly-beloved partner of
his Joys after the following style -
Every night Here, it is half past
one o'clock | It's q wonder you came
home at all What-do-you-think-
a-woman is made for? I do believe if
a robber was to come and carry me off
you would not care one cent. What is
it you say? "City Council business
must be attended to |" How do I know
you go to the City Council Does the
City Council meet night They
don't meet but once q month in New
York. But suppose Philadelphia is q
more important place. Oh, yes-out
every night. Twelve o'clock-one
o'clock-two o'clock. Here stay with
the children, all alone-lying awake
half of the night waiting for you.
Couldn't come home any sooner? OF
course you couldn't if you didn't want
to. But know something; you think
1 don't, but / do. I wish I didn't.
Where were you on Monday night
Tell me that. I know that the City
Council didn't meet that night. Now
what have you got to say? "Could not
get quorum I" Well, if you couldn't,
why didn't you come homer Out
every night-hunting-for-s-quo-
rum. Bet you wouldn't hrnt me in
this way if 1 was missing. Where were
you Wednesday night and Friday night?
Do you always put on your best vest
and clean shirt to go to the Council?
What did you buy that bottle of hair
oil for, and hide it? "Ol for your
hone," indeed Who ever heard of
hair oil for milestone So you think
l didn't see you in the other room,
brushing and greasing your hair, and
looking In the glass at your pretty self?
ga man ought to be decent He ought,
ought he? Yes, indeed, o decent man
ought to be, and decent man will stay
at home with his wife sometimes and
not out every night. How comes it
that the City Council didn't meet at all
last summer? Trying to work it out
of debit" Yes, that's probable-very
laughing and joking, and smoking and
swapping lies will work debt off, won't
it !? Now-I-want-to-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Observation-Disclosures? Yes, I
want to know? Out every night !? City
Council, Free Masons, Red Men, Odd
Fellows, shows, hair oil-and it's brush
and brush, until you've nearly worn out
the brush, and your head, too. What
is it you say? 'It helps our business
to keep up your social relations I" All,
indeed. You've got relations here at
home, sir. They need keeping up some,
! think. What did you say about
catching it" the other night at
euehre party? "Fellers, it's twelve
o'clock, but let's play a while longer
We won't catch it any worse when we
get home" A pretty speech for q de-
cent mani "Catch it p Catch it !"
Well, / intend you shall catch it-a lit
tie. What's that you say? ..''H I
wouldn't fret You SO, you would stay at
home more !" Well, sir, do you stay
at home few nights and try it. Per-
haps the fretting would stop. Out every
night because 1 fret you SO. What's
that sir? "You know ladies who amt
always scolding their husbands |" You
do. do you? How came you to know
them? What business had you to know
whether other women fret or not?
That's always the way. You men think
all the other women are saints but your
wives.
Oh, yes saints, saints. I'll have
you to know, sir, that there isn't
woman in this town that's any more of
a saint than am. 1 know them all,
sir, heap better than you do. You
see the honey and sugar side of them,
and Observation-Disclosures
-sugar-side-of-you. Now, sir. 1
Just want you to know that if you don't
stay at home more than you do, I'll
leave these children to get burnt up,
and I'll go ont every night; When
poor woman gets desperate, why, sir,
she is-desperate, that's all