National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-08-20
THAT HOOKING BIRD.
AN EFFECTUAL REMEDY GRATUIT-
nTrSIX ~ EEREn

AN EFFECTUAL REMEDY GRATUlT-
OUSLYs OFFERED.
F street. between Thirteenth and Fourteenth,
Is sorely disturbed by the dismal WArblings Of an
energetic hooking bird. This Is species Of cat
bird, and appears to have many characteristics Of
the cat itself 1t is sort Of miscellaneous music
box done up in q bunch Of drab feathers and Is
ever ready to respond to the Sundry noises which
reach its ears, making an echo Of al the sounds in
the neighborbOOd. What It is good for is one Of
those complicated problems which has stirred the
labyrlnthfc depths Of the most comprehensive
mathematical minds Of street without sAtistsc-
tory results. Night after night and day after day
this patient and long-EuierinG community, In
spired with Christian charity, have striYen 70
recognize In the penetrating and wrRth-transport
ing carols Of this lpnatie warbler some redeeming
quality which, n measure, might counter
balance bis multitude Of sins. But the aforesaid
quality is not IN him. If Is, the same must be
one Of those latent virtues which nothing but q
sudden wringing Of his peck will bring into action
A proposition to this effect We most GympRtheti-
cally submit to the fOrbearing and greatly an
noyed Inhabitants Of F street, upon the condition
we, the distressed people Of street, do hereby
agree to pay TO any naturaliEed citizen Of the
United States, or deniZen Of the same, or for
eigner residing within the Jurisdiction OF Its
courts, large quantity Of respect and esteem, in
addition to several prayers for his or her present
and future welfare, provided the said person will
quietly and with charitable intent, remove q mis-
celIaneous and discordant music-box from the
throat OF q certain mocking-bird on street,
which has been the means OF breaking more COM
mandments than the books OF Moses ever thought
or" Tho contract will be open to bidders until
September /, unless the "lady clerk" or "suf-
ferer" go foolInR around the cage with q double
barreled shotgun, in which case, of course, the
contract viii be closed, and what's left Of the bird
buried, and that, too deeper than the spade Of an
ordinary resurrection ever penetrates.
W. UP.
HAVE HOOKING BIRDS ANY RIGHTs7
70 TIE Editor Of the National Rep publican:
SIR: Have hooking birds any rights which the
white man is bound to respeotf I am influenced
TO this question by several communications in
your paper in regard to an eVil-omened bird on
+ street, between Thirteenth and Fourteenth
streets, that seems to have kicked up row among
the neighbOrs. We had o mosking bird IN our
family last summer, but It made such an internal
racket every night that my motberin-laW left the
house IN despair, and the maid servant, who slept
In the attic where the bird was kept, gave notice
to quit. Tho neighbors, also, uttered an angry
protest, and at last the bird was banished. A
woman up town had mortally offended me. re.
membered It, and gave tho bird TO her nephew
That household was not pleasant resting place
any more, and was reVenged, 1t is possible
that the owner Of this F-street bird is q night
Waterman in the Treasury Department, and in
the day time drives an Avenue car. II SO, he
don't care If anybody else sleeps or not.
CAPITOL HILL.