South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1874-04-10
wYT AND 1IUNIOR.

a u
Some OF the Alabama negroes are net uD.
mindful Of their equality before the law. Il yas
only the other DAY that lady met an old colo--
ed woman in Montgomery whom she knew
She met her with "Howdy do, Aunt Marie ~
The aged negress raised herself erect laced her
arms akimbo, aud remarked loftily, looking side
wise 81 ain yer aunt, aud ain yer uncle;
Use yer ekal o. aud Indignantly passed on.
-"Did you execute this instrument without
fear or compulsion from your husband E? bland.
~ asked the Judge. "Fearl Compulson lie
compel me You don't know me, Judge"
Describing a wedding the other day, gen.
'!eman got off the following extraordinary sen
tenco in regard TO the BRIDE 'In her bony face
the twin roses Of health ana beauty shone
lie probably meant to say "bonay," but-''thc
COMPOUNDED printers ,'
Nelson you take Daphincy whom YOU
now have by the right hand to be your lawful
and welded wife so long as death shall be sepa-
rated from you both--answer, eyes will, oad
give me two dollars what you promised is
the way Berkeley county Squire married CO.
lored couple last week
Farewell, Susan-you haze driven me 10
the grave, wrote Joa Larch, Of Alabama. four
years ago, and left the no:e on the river bank
lie was arrested the other day in Cincinnati, liv-
ing with another woman.
"A South Bead man has invented machine
for Matching eggs, and he brings out I've hun
dted chickens at a time. The hen can now de-
vote all her time 10 the production Of the raw
material.
AT recent meeting Of Society in Boston,
composed Of men from the Emcra d Isle mem.
Der made the follow ing motion ',Mr. Psisidint.
move yees that we whitewash the ceiling green
in honor Of the ovid flag"
-Beechor says that the United States is Eng
land broke loose and growing in the open air.
a waiter in a ST. Louis restaurant was ask
cd for a tooth-pick by one OF The patrons-he had
just finished a bowl Of oyster soup. what DO
you want with toothpick 2? queged the wal
Ter, who had cultivated considerable familiarity
with the customers. al want to pick an oyster
from my teeth" ''Oh no you don't. There
was only one oyster in that soup, and ate thu,
on my way from the kitchen -
1t IS apparent TO parent that great many
children get on the wrong track because the
switch is misplaced.
A prescription sent to a drug store in a Yves
tern town containing postscript for the enid
"nce OF the druggist, stated that it was intended
f,r 4,
An Iowa farmer who had been married only
seven weeks, and has had to buy a wig. Offers
to BET that his wife can whip panther.
y PLEASANT sIrUArioS.-Our friend Parker
went round the other evening to visit the two
MISS smiths. After conyersing with them for n
while, Miss Susan excused herself for few mo-
mens and went up stairs Presently Parker
thought he heard her coming, and slipping be-
hind the door, he suggested that the other Miss
smith should tell Miss Susan that he had gone
iut it wasn't Susan, it was old Mr.. Smith in his
slippers. As he entered he looked round and
said to bis daughter
Ah' an SO Parker has gone, has Ae -
"eod radiance was just coming down to
Keep my eye on him. hope he has not been
proposing to you, Mary Jane. don't want
any such iantern-jawed, red headed idiot ms III.
ioolIng round here lie hasn got the sense Of
"rotabag turnip or money enough TO buy
clean shirt lie gets none Of my daughters
j shake the everlasting life out OF him if
catch hin mere again, mind me
just as he concluded, Susan came down. and
not perceiyi1g Parker, she said
Thank goodness he has gone. That man IS
enough to provoke saint was awfally a.
ffa.d be was going to spend the evening. Mary
Jane, hope you did not ask him TO come a.
gain
Then Parker dijn know whether TO s,av
there or to bolt while Mary Jane looked MS if
she would like to drop in to the cellar. Ba,
Parker finally walked out rushed to tic entry
shot down the front steps and went home m,li-
'"uns upon the emptiness Of human happiness
aud ihe uncertainty ofsmjls
Ibis lie highly colorcd "The liiscs are bud
says q Wisconsin eduor.-,You li-,a.
responded one Of hs readers. .Yol VIE
Gle. truth politely replied TIE editor
j. western critic recently said ofau.v nov.
TIE incidents follow es-h o.h.r.ts Show
..II Of hot ccuIs"