The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-04-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

sion of the Wenona GranSe, OF WHICH nc 10
fortunately not member
Samuel Brown,
Who lives in town
And is always aroun,
Wants 1t set down
That as collector,
He'd be a successor.
TT Cummings makes the sacrifice lat II
fearful request of three millions OF voters.
Thomas Hay
In roundabout way
Desires to say
He'd accept the collectorshp
Most any day.
NJ. Stateler will take the Office "merely to az
commodate the people
David Adams announces himself candidat
q" on the European plan
Nat Wood would take the Office, SO he would.
Milo Gallagher is a candidate, Subject to tn
mob
RE. Dent, jr., "beleving that the Office SHOULD
seek the man." trusts the Office will be tcndere'
him without any hint on his part.
Pete Chapman and II. c. Tullis only consent
to be candidates to keep the office from gong
a-begging
And So forth, lot more.
we feel shocked and indignant to find, in M
oddress recently delivered by the editor OF the
LAFAYETTE .youyaal before the Indiana State Edl'
torial Associations the following brutal attack on
the editor of the La Sale Press:
He tolerates no respectable discussion. You
uust either give assent to all his assumptions or
be bcfouled all over with verbal nth. ii you
question the sounduesS Of his positions, he will
at once assail you with personal detractlon and
rdcule He will invade the sanctity OF home
and will parade private matters before the public
gaze. He will dig up or manufacture the rilest
scandals. He apparently thinks the soundness
of any position he may take will be sufficiently
demonstrated If he can but prove you to be q
knave or fool He is incapable of logical ar
gument, and vet the rabblc often give him credit
for being an exceedingly smart fellow.
That last observation can only refer to the La
Sale rabble, if true Of any.
The school girls of Kankakee are to be com
lni.crated, if the Ga.ete is to be believed In say
ing:
Are School Girls injured by too much study
We fear they are; the number Of poor, weak,
dragged out young females In this city certilieS
10 this We presume there are as many as seven
school girls in Kankakcc who can't jump over Il
threcfOot fence more than twenty-five times
without stopping, and at least three are unable
10 eat six apples and two dozen cookies at recess.
Oh, these perishing young buds
Those demure praying quakeresses at Rich
mond, Ind, in spite Of their doyc-lke bearing,
are slightly 'up to snuff" when occasion demands
H. Says dispatch:
As member Of the Richmond, Ind, Temper
Gnce League was about to engage III prayer, yes
tcrday, at a saloon, the proprietor presented u
bill against her son for 40 drinks. She paid the
bll-S4-took a receipt, and said. Now, friend
! shall indict thee on 40 charges OF selling to my
-On, who is minor
The Dallas (Texas) HcyuH tells this story:
Asuskcr rot off the cars at the depot ycstcr
day to buy smack and II man in a hurry asked
him to give him two ten dollar grcenbackS for Il
gold twenty He gave the man in Il hurry the
two ten dollar grecnhacks and found
If the reader can't tell how the gold pieces
turned out he might as well stop reading alto
@ethcr
The following has norcfcrence whatever to the
recent Brooklyn council:
Said a great Congregational preacher
To hen; you're beautiful creature
The hen Just for that
Laid two eggs in his hat,
And thus did the Hen re ward Bccchcr!
In the city council of Kansas city, Il horse rail
way bill being under consideration, the provision
that the fare "ior single person. should not cX-
coed cents was grayely amended, on motion Of
Alderman Black, SO rs also to include married
people in the limitation
The Coaqngatioaola explains what it means
by lightning bug piety'- Bright while 1t lasts
but cold, and soon out.
The following plainly show, that there, poetry
i'm the nose:
How very odd that poets should suppose
There is no poetry about your nose,
When, plain us mans nose on his face
\ nosecss face would lack poetic grace
Noses have sympathy, Il lover knows:
Noses are always touched when lips are kissing
And who would care to kiss if noses were miss.
ing;
Whether a vile or wholesome odur flows
around Us, il we owned no sense or smelling
know nOsc--a nose no other knows
Meath starry eyes Der ruby lips il wrOws-
There's beauty in IFS form and music in is blows /
The pupils Of girls school in Pittsburgh, out /.
for their daily promenade were recently mistaken
for an approaching band Of temperance reform
crs, and their appearance was the sign.l for - !
general closing up of the saloons.
The young bloods up at Mi. Carol, according
to the Hrnor, have Il sweet way Of rcycncing
themselves on young ladies that give them the
mittcn. young lady on Sunday evening hay-
ing preferred the company of her father home
from church 10 that Of one Of the Mt. Carol
beauN, the latter walked behind her and amused
himself by squirting tobacco juice upon her dress!
The dress, silk worth $40 was bcspatted from
The waist downward, and Of course totallyruned.
Inc following by the local" Of the Kankakcc
"dl'it' SNOW how easy il is for lunatic to talk
nonsense while sensible man would probably
fail in the attempt:
ieHow asked US the other day, which We had
Ialher 90, or 20 a-fsning? We told him we
thought II was. There was probability that
such might be the case; though in view Of their
constitutional differences there was an apparent
disregard Tor the amenities VI social life. These
however The death Of Lunalio would unqucs-
tionably counteract, and the confusion following
the premier decision an adjournment was i'm.
mlhenL Inc teller agreed with US
Sycamore poet getg ofi the o,,i,,, q, ,i,,,n.