davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

ONE OF Tom CORwIN's JOKEs.-COr-
wins humOr and sarcasm were of too
delicate and subtle q nature to permit
OF their transfer to paper with much eff
feet. His wit was spontaneous and I'M
premeditated, but wonderfully telling.
When the abolition excitement was at
its height he was invited to address q
public meeting at Covington, opposite
Cincinnati. 1t was unprecedented that
the uItra-sIavery men might interrupt
him, so he determined to propitiate them
by an anecdOte. "FellOw-citizens," said
he, it is quite possible that some of you
may suppose my sympathies are with
the negroes to such an extent that |
would be glad to see them prosper at the
expense of the superior race. | don't
propose to refute this notion by argu-
ment Or assertion, but will give my bit
of experience in relation to the blacks
from which you will be able to infer what
my feelings toward them are likely to
be. When vas quite q young man |
went down the river to New Orleans on
a hatbOat. | remained in that lively
city for a couple of weeks, seeing what
was worth looking at, till, my money
of returning. But thing | had not
seen, which | was told was one of the
inevitable sights of the place. l must
go to a Quadroon ball. So, dressed up
in my best clothes, l called for q ticket
to the ball, and was repulsed with the
'COlored folks not admit
Corwin was quite as dark as a quad
roon.-[Harper's Monthly.
How to pronounce a Polish name,
sneeze three times and say ski.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

On motion, the Police Jury adjourned unit
Monday, November 9th. 1874.
Attest: c. MAYO. Clerk,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

The Jackson (Tenn.) Courier winds
up a marriage notice with:
Man is q critter full Of woes,
aaFF!ea a wife To mend his cl9thes.n ,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

A Detroit father keeps his boy in
by vanishing a chair and sitting
him down. 1t is a novel plan, but awful
tough on the trowsers,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30
SDiMner'S Girls.
THE OLD MAN WOULDN'T ALLOW THEM
TO BE TURNED OUT-AND HE DIDN'T.
From the Washington Capital

t@ASA AN RAAH
Gen. Spinner, the friend OF women and
the aged watchdog Of the Treasury dur
ing the late raid on the Departments by
an economical Congress, not only stood
firm, but came off VitOrious. When the
committee sent for him, and very imper-
tinently inquired how many clerks he
could spare from his bureau, he res
pended:
"None, Sir; [ have not one supernu-
merary. Indeed have work-feminine
wOrk-gentlGmen, for more"
When informed that it was necessary
to cut down his force the old gentleman
waxed wrotI.
"By-T, gentlemen" he cried, "Itake
that to be a vote of censure. know my
business, bly,. have no drones in
my hive therefore if you resolve to cut
down my force include me, for the Presi-
dent shall have my resignation"
This Bureau, however, did come under
the restrictions, and four females receiv-
ed legal notice that their services were
no longer required by the Department.
When this fact reached the ears Of old
Spin. he called his clerks, male and
female, before him and said:
Fellows, an attempt by this id
beggarly, mean Congress is being made
70 TURN some OF you ut. NOW, WNen
they turn any one of you fellows out,
by, they turn me out. But | won't
go. No, dammisoul if | go a step, nor
shall you. The four notified to quit will
continue their work. | take the res
possibility, and I'll pay 'em out of the
conscience fund. 1t couldn't be put to
a betteruse. Now, fellows, danyersouls,
go to work."
The men broke out into loud cheers
and the women burst into tears. Then
a cherubic little miss Of about sixty
threw her arms Historically around him
and kissed him. At this all rushed at
the benevolent old swearer, and he was
nearly suffocated, for the thermometer
stood at ninety.
The dear, prOfane old soldier! Wish
We had an army Uf that sort!
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

A Chicago sausage maker advertises
his wares as dog cheap
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

How to pronounce a Polish name,
sneeze three times and say ski.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-10-30

I, Louis Desmarais, Assistant Parish Treasu-
rer for the parish of st. Landry, do hereby GER
tify that the above statement is true and cor
rect, OUIS DESMARAIS.
Assistant Treasurer.
Sworn to and subscribed before me this 9Th of
October, 1874. s. r WALKER, J. p.
The Police Jury, in committee of the whole,
proceeded to examine claims unpaid and on file
against the parish, whereupOn motion of Mr..
Thcodule Fontenot, the following claims were
allowed and approved:
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

per centage of the whole number.
resulting, it Is supposed, from too
great rapidity of development, or
some other at present unknown
agency. In some instances, the per-
centage is so large, as materially to
affect the number of salable fish
produced, as they sooner or later
succumb in the struggle for exis-
tence.
Years have passed since 20, 900
sha6 were planted in the Mississippi
at Fort Smelling. Since then the
hook of the fisher has hankered for
a shad, but neither shad mol shadow
of a shad has told that either the
original stock remain, or that their
descendants are coursing through
the Father Of Waters. There has
long been standing an offer of S25
by the st. Paul chamber of COM
merce to the man who shonld pro-
duce the first shad caught, in the
river. After many nibbles at this
rich bait, a Saltwater angler swal-
lows it, having caught In the st.
Croix river one of the fugitive 90.
600.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

the couple after they drove from
the door. This was a relic OF the
old custom of "thIowing the shoe''
after a new n arried couple, and sig
nifying good luck. The guests then
departed, the mansion was closed,
and the plebidns, who haunted the
entrances, ordered away. Republi-
canism sits in the lap of Great Brit
ain. STYNGAN.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28
FISH POINTS.

Salmon are plentiful in the Sac
ramento and San Joaquin rivers.
Salmon are advertised for sale at
twenty-five cents apiece in Sacra-
mento.
The waters of Coos Bay are full of
herring. The Indians spear fioun-
der at night, while the American
fishermen catch herring with nets
every morning.
One hundred and ni~nety-four in
land lakes of Michigan have been
stocked with white fish, which are
doing well. The average number
in each lake is about 1000.
1t is possible that similar malfor-
nations occur in equal proportions
i'm other fishes, but such of these as
come under the cognizance of the
student are so small as not to be ap-
probable. Malformations are, in
deed, quite common in the goldfish
and corp, particularly the former:
oiiu hC SiitdCCS OcdflIlk
names, and characterized, among
other features, by the possession of
an extra number of tails.
DIR. Knoch, of Moscow, has late
ly been studying the nature of mall
formations in the trout, salmon,
and whitefish, and finds the mos;
common mOnstrosities to consist in
the possession first, of two heads
second, of a double vertebral col.
lumn and cord; third, of malforma.
tons as regards divergence of the
body from its axis of length /; fourth,
of defects of the organs of locomo.
ton; fifth, of anomalies in the
vegetative sphere; sixth, of defects
i'm the organs of sense.
Fish culturists, especially those
who have to deal with the various
species of the sainaonid0, are fire.
quently struck with the numerous
cases of malformation in the EN-.
bryos Matched out by them; those
sometimes constituting q marked
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28
LINCOLN.
Capital Removal Bpeeulations.
Businsss Prospects-shooting At
fray, &c.
Correspondence of the BEE.
LINCOLN, May q, 1874.

hNS N
LINCOLN, May q, 1874.
EDITOR BEE
The survey for the Government
Postofice and Custom House on the
south side of Market square, 'front.'
ing south, was completed Monday
morning, aud the excavation was
commenced Tuesday morning,
There were about two hundred per-
sons present when the ground was
broke. The building will be 65xSO
feet, three-story high, and probably
will have a Mansard roof. The
building will be commenced as soon
rs the excavation is finished, and
the work will be pushed forward as
rapidly as possible.
Since work is begun the citizens
appear quite jubilant, and now feel
that their chances are better for re-
tanning the Capitol than ever before,
as it gives Lincoln more perman-
ence on account of lifelong expected
enterprise which Is now a fired fact.
Business is quite lively, and many
strangers are coming in on the sew
eral railroads; some looking for To-
cations and some exploring the
West. There are many new build
ings being built, and there is a rapid
growth of immigration.
s. NJ. Boyd Is one of the enter
priGng boys who invested in the
uDisputed Eighty" in the east part
Of town. He will, this season, build
several good houses. Mr.. Boyd is
one Of the most energetic business
men In the city.
Like all other towns, the Capital
City will get up some Excitement
occasionally. At twelve O'Clock
Monday night, as Mr.. Andrews, (oi
Bailey 4 Andrews) vas closing the
billiard hall, q noise was heard al
the door, with knocks, and Mr.. An
drews went to seer what was the
matter, whenSE X. Aldrich, en-
tered, and with an oath asked who
knocked i'm that window ?(ofa house
of ill-fame i'm the rear of the billiard
hall. MI. Clark, . citizen, who
was in conversation with MI. An.
drews, readily, without meditating,
said: did. When Aldrich drew
from his pocket . pistol, pointing a,
| MI. CLARK; 1t the same time fired.
| The ball tnok elEecti In the left side
Of the neck, and lodged about six
inches back Of the eufrance. He
did not at. art feali3e much pain,
but in q shoff time became quite
faint, and wAs taken to an Office,
and Doctor Enslish and French
were called, who on examination,
found the ball and cut 1t out.
The pistol was taken from Al
drich by John AcShea, and he was
arrested by Mr.. Agen, q policeman,
and kept incostodyc until this morn.
Ing, when be plead utility and was
held to bail at 81, 900, which amour,
II appears was difficult for him r.
get. and & mas thought Impossible
fos him to get that bail In Lincoln,
MICH SySapathy Is ir favor Of Mr.,
Clark, who Is well known In Lin.
Eeoln. 1onA-a man unusually social,
Xldriehr( 3 ooosuped by al, and viii
have but little fsyors shown him.
ADD.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

AND the cry is still they come.
We mean the new newspapers, OF
sourse. The latest additions are .
third daily at Lincoln and . second
daily ct Kearney. We should
Judge that both Of these towns are
now amply supplied.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

(FGon yGDeordayb bkkl
sowing to the typographicai
transportation in "making up" the
following article, We deem il proper
to reproduce it as originally COM
posed"
The BEE is naturally endowed
with q cheerful and hopeful dispo-
sition. It believes that tireless in
dustry win accomplish more than
tirssome praying or idle croaking.
At the same time it cannot repress
. feeling of disappointment at the
policy Just inaugurated by President
Dillon In the Union Pacific car and
machins DEPARTMENTS.
We had been repeatedly assured
from official quarters that the COM
pany proposed to enlarge its manu-
fActuring facilities in Omaha and
Increase its mechanical force. Such
5 policy would, II carried out, have
partly compensated Omaha for the
loss sustained through the COM
panies failure to complete the depot
and general Office buildings.
A failure to realize their bright
anticipations might have been born
with equianimityi but when Presi-
dent Dillon ordered q discharge Oft
large proportion OF the present
working force in the shops he has
struck q blow at Omaha that will
soon be felt by all classes of her
| citizens.
Already one hundred and twenty
mechanics have been thrown out of
employment, and we understand
further discharges may o follow.
Assuming an average income of
$3.50 per day for each mechanic
there Is q reduction of $500 per day,
or s., 800 per month in our current
money circulation.
We are informed that this policy
has been prompted, partly by a de-
sire for economy and retrenchment,
and principally because cars can be
manufactured cheaper at eastern
factories than at Omaha. Now,
admitting this fact, we apprehend
that the superior finish and in
creased durability Of the Omaha
built ears over those built at eastern
factories, will more than make up
the difference In the original cost.
Even if the actual cost of Omaha
built cars was not fully compensated
for by the improved finish and
strength, the Company could well
afford 10 encourage manufacturing
ct this point, with an ultimate view
Of building up q commercial center
that would draw traffic to their line,
Quite apart from these pecuniary
considerations, we deem it but oul
duty to appeal to the Union Pacific
managers in behalf of the working.
men 70 suddenly and unceremoni'
ously thrown out Of employment
A majority Of them have come tc
Omaha to establish a permanent
home. They have invested theiI
small earnings in this locality.
And now they find themselvesin 8
most embarrassing position. With
out a definite prospectof re-employ
ment they cannot afford to Femain
and many Of them have not the
means to go elsewhere in search O
work. Even if the prospect for re-
employment was good, they car
not remain idle very long without
aid from some quarter.
p. S.-Since writing this ar ticl'
we learn that only forty-seven me
chanics had been discharged i'm tn,
U. p. shops.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28
The Oldest Established a
BANKING HOUSE
In NEBRASKA,
Caldwell, Hamilton 4 Co.,


Business transacted same rs that
OF an Incorporated Bank.
Accounts kept In Currency or Gold
subject to sight check without no.
tice.
Certificates Of Deposit issued pay.
able on demand, or at fixed date
bearing interest at six percent. per
annnm, and available In In all parts
Of the country.
Advances made to customers on
approved securities at market rates
OF interest.
Buy and sell Gold, Bills Of Ex.
change, Government, State, County,
and City Bonds.
We give special attention to negO.
tiating Railroad ard other COrpO.
rate Loans issued within the state.
Draw Sight Drafts on England,
ireland, Scotland, and all parts Of
Europe.
Sell European Passage Tickets.
COLLECTIONS PROMPTLY MADE.
aultf
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

On ana astsr October tvsnty-hrst. 1871, ths
s.v ereuhtaeu Of tbs DAILY BEE Il assumed
b. Mr.. Edwin Davis, TO who's order al sun
ssriptisa, not paid at ths Office will b payable.
..d By WHOM all rseslpts for subseziPusas WI
- csuntsrsagDsd.
Z. RosEwATER. Pahlish~
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28
MARRIAGE BELLS.
Wedding Of Nellie Grant and HI.
Sartoris.
The Nations Favored Daughter
Yields to Hymen-Love
Triumphant.
A Gorgeous Affair.
A Gorgeous Affair.
WASHINGTON, May 2:

Especial Correspondence Of the BEE.l
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

had driven his darts deep into the
affections of the young girl, and a
love stronger than parental affection
tore her from the arms of fond pa
rents. Sartoris is o representative
of the landed gentry, simply-is not
q lord-and the bride will not re-
ceive the consideration from the
royal family, as Mrs. Sartoris, that
she did as the daughter of the Presi-
dent Of the United States. The
groom is said to be a fine billiard
player, q good boxer, a mutton
chopped, side-whiskered English
man, and big cypher for his other
accomplishments or personal at
fractions. The presents were nu-
merous and very costly, consisting
of silver tea sets, knives, forks, ETC.,
dressing cases, laces, shawls, and
numerous other articles, valued in
all upwards of $50, 900. No such
wedding, or regal magnifcence and
lavish expenditure, has eve been
witnessed within the White House,
The Presidents gifts to the daugh-
ter were $4,000 In cash; two full
sets Of lace, imported from Brussels,
and purchased by the wife of the
American Minister in Brussels with
out regard to expense.
The entire wardrobe Of the bride
is elaborate, and muitifarious chan.
ges, such as has never been equalled
in this country. The Marine Band
consisting of forty pieces afforded
music for the occasion, and exotic
flowers, in profusion, filled every
corner and niche of the building
used In the ceremony. About $50
guests only were present, and the
carriages to the number of 150, were
ranged in q semi-circle, fronting the
! mansion. At l o'clock, the Presi-
dents four-in-hand was driven to
the entrance, and the bride and
groom were whirled to the depot. to
! take a special Palace a for New
York. The young lady friends Of
the bride sent q shower of delicate
little satin and gold slippers sfte'
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

OHIO is just now In the midst OF
. heated campaign on the new con-
stitution question.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

THE Pope has again recovered,
and now 1t will be Bismarcks turn
to be sick.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28

TIE stage drivers strike ought to
afford New YoFken . much-needed
opportunity for healthy exercise.
Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-28
CORRESPONDENTS.

We 10 uof dsstre any esatxibstieus wnsssv9
daHssr.ry o. pesttai eAarscssf; M 70
yin not rndsrtake to preserve, or 70 rstufn
hsans, in any cass vhsssva. Our s9AA
hsuAeis.ty hrU 70 more tAan ssPP'y ssf
Hated spass in that direction Z
RAJ NAnE OF WAITE, in fall, nust In sneA
81 every CO seeenpany say esonuniear
tn, Il vhat nature sosver. This b not n
ts.dsd Tor publieatisa. bat for eur sva atas-
faction a,A - proof Of good faith-
Ous CovrfRY FHIKHDs vs VII always d
plsassd y bar iron, on al nsttss esansesea
VA eross, country pottis, ssd - ny sse-
,ss4 vhsssv9 Of general interest 70 IL 20
- 4 ssr STATE. Any inisrnatioa ssenses-
VIII fAs election. and relating - hoods,
ssalnts- st., viii b Gladly rsesivsd- AL
sueA osanuntcations. however, NUS -
brsa . possible; and they must. IN oss,
- vrittn upon one sds Of IL sAsss only.
POLITICAL
ALL AuuovxcKnkxn e sanhidatss - go
-vhsth~ made BY eli or friends. and
vhSsh~ q notices or oonnunieations = u
Editor, are until neainatieas srs 1851
auply personal, aaA VIII b shazUsa . -
vsrttssmsnu-
An ooununications should b addrsssd 70
Z ROSEWATER, Edttsr ~ Puhataha, Dav.
IN.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-02-27
A CONTENTED FARMER.

Once upon time, Frederick, King
Of Prussia, surllamed "Old Frits,
took a ride, and espied an old farmer
blowing his acre by the waysidc, and
ci,eerily singing his melody.
"YOu are well off, old man." said
the King. "Docs this acre belong to
you, on which you SO industri0usly
labOrv
"No, sir,' replied the farmer, who
knew not that it was the King; III
am not so rich as that l plow for
wages"
allow much do you get day! :" in,
quired the king.
"Eight greschen, (about twenty
cents), said the farmer.
"Thar is not Much,0 replied the
king; "can you get along with this"
"Gct along and have something
Left
allow is thatv
The farmer smiled, and said,-
"Well, if must tell You, two gro
schen are for myself and wife; with
two l pay my old debts; two lend
away; and two l give away for the
Lords sake"
"This is mystery which I cannot
solve," replied the king.
"Then l solve it for you," said the
farmer.
IL have two old parents at home
who kept INC when Il was weak and
needed help; and now that they are
weak and need help l keep them-|
This is my debt toward Which | pay
two groschen, day. The third pair
of groschen, which 1 lend away,
spend for my children, that they may
receive Christian instructions. This
will come handy to me and wife when
We get old. With the last two gro
,chen l maintain two sick sisters,
whom I would not he compelled to
keep: this l give for the Lords sake"
The king, well pleased with his an
;wer, said,-
"Bravely spoken old man. Now
will also give you something to guess.
lave you eecn Inc before 7"
"Never," said the farmer.
"In less than five minutes you shall
ec me fifty times and carry in your
pockets fifty of my lkenesscs."
'sThis is Il riddle which cannot un-
avel," said the farmer.
"Then will do it for you," replied
he king, thrusting his hand into his
,ocket, and counting him fifty brand
lew gold pieces into his hand, stamp
d with his royal likeness, he said to
he astonished farmer, who knew not
that was coming
"Thc coin is genuine, for 1t also
ONES from our Lord God, and 7 am
is paymaster. ] I'D you adieu.n
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-02-27

A FIGHT occurred at East Walker
River, Nevada, about fortnight ago,
which Eastern sporting men would
have given something to see. A, dog
only eight months old pursued a
Rocky Mountain lynx into the river.
The lynxwas four feet long and over
two feet high. They fought under
the water for about fifty yards. Then
they came to the surface. They let
90 their holds and went down again.
When they came up the dog had kill
ed the lynx.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-02-27

THE December earnings OF the I'm
ion Pacific railroad are reported ap.
proximately at $3.50, 900, which makes
the total gross earnings for 1873 $40,
25O,OOO, and the net earnings for the
same time s5, tN 900. The int: est
Obligations amount to %, 400, 6l5, and
there is surplus Of 81, 7O8, 3S5, equal
to dividend of more than ~ per cent.
oe the share capita. This does not
include the operations of the land de-
partment, which show sales up to De-
bember 81, 1873, of S48, GS2, acres for
a total Of 81, s4O, $50, or an average Of
"a 81 per acre.
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-02-27

81 DON'T believe much in the Bible"
said q cOllegian to an old Quaker.
"Docs thee believajn Francei" ayes,
/ do. ! never saw it, but / have
plenty of proof that there is such q
country ''Then thee does not believe
anything unless thee or thy reliable
friends have seen itr "No, be sure /
won't" "Did thee ever see thy own
brainss p "No." ibid thee ever
know anybody who has seen thy
brains - mo" "DOes the believe
thee has any brains I"
Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-02-27

Tue MODoCs IN Their ExILE.-The
correspondent of the Chicago Advance
at Baxter Springs, Kansas, give us a
peep at the exiled M0tl0cs in their
new reservation adjoining that town.
| have just been watching, she says,
the remnants of Captain Jacks band
as they piled themselves and their
small belongings of babies, bundles
and dogs into common farm wagons,
and ,:reamed off across the prairie,
gorgeous in their new scarlet blankets
as a procession of cardinals, but not
in the least terrifying. And have not
the inhabitants of our town-call it
Saints Rest, if you please-slept the
sleep of the just every night for week
past, knowing that only two white
men guarded us from $50 Modest
Behold us, not even q smoke house
burned, not even a chicken oost plum
dered; and, instead of carrying off
our scalps, has not Bogus Charley left
a portion of his own blue-black locks
among our romantic young ladies I!
Saints Rest is a border town, upon
the line of "Thc Nation" The Quaw-
paw lands lie next to it, and portion
Of these are to be bought for the Mo-
docs. Arrangements not being COM
plete on their arrival here, they rested
with us, occupying hotel which hap
pened to be vacant, until winter quar-
tiers were built for them at the agency,
a few miles away. There are forty
warriors left. Scar-faced Charley, the 1
tallest and brightest Of them, is their
chief. He gets his name from scar
on his check. Bogus Charley is stall
wart, honest looking fellow whom
Captain Jack proposed to have hung
as his substitute, which proposition
Charley had the bad taste not to rel
ish. His prefix come from a town of
that name which conferred or received
honor by association with him at some
period. Shack Nasty Jim is still an
other whose name every one is likely
to remember. It must have been be-
slowed on him in irony, as he is said
to be the least Of q shack and the least
nasty of them all. Princess Mary is
a sister of Captain Jack. She is tall,
stout, rather intelligent looking squaw,
End seems full of business, stirring
mush and ladling out coffee with her |
own royal hands.