The Republican. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 187?-187?, 1874-05-02


brated professor
At last ] heard they we're again in
London, and, full Of enthusiasm, dartel
round the corner to welcome them
home. Nobody was with them but Mrs.
Hanway Winifred's mother. 1 would
enter unanpounced and surprise the
philosopher. l entered unannounced,
and vas surprised myself.
Was this the effect of matrimony or
OF foreign travel? Each occupant of
the room was engaged in an exercise
wholly unconnected, as It seemed, with
those of the rest. Ny friends wife, the
lady whom l had almost loved, Queen of
all graea and comeliness, was appearing
and disappearing like a flash behind
the days Times, shoYing at the mo-
?i ments OF disclosure = : agshed with
tumbled into the widest disorder,
while she accompanied the whole per.
formance with strange and iharticulate
sounds. Her mother, the same Mrs.
Hanway who was so perfect model OF
dress and carriage that many of her
lady friends were wont to lament among
themselves that she gave herself such
airs, was seated on The floor, dressed
for walking, but without her bonnet.
Yes, she was certainly drumming on an
inverted tea-tray with the wrong end of
the poker. And the philosopher It
was perplexipg,. after three years sepa-
ration, to meet him thus. The philoso.
pher was cantering round the room on
all fours, wearing on his head his own
waste paper basket. Briskly he can
tered round, ever and anon frisking like
lamb in spring time, until he reached
my feet, which were rooted to the spot
with astonishment. He glanced up
sidewpys, rose with cry to the normal
altitude of man and grasped me by the
hand. At the sotnd Of his Voice, his
wife, dropping the paper from her
hands, raised them quickly to her hair
and his mother-in-law, with as much
dignity as the effort would allow, scram-
bled on her feet. Then, in an instant,
the'cause of their eccentric conduct was
made clear. Throned on the hearth
rug, and showing by gracious smile a
few of the newest teeth, sat fine baby
of some fifteen months. In one dimpled
fist was tightly clenched the brush
which had so neatly arranged the moth.
er's braids, while the other was en-
gagged in pounding the grandmothers
best bonnet into shapeless mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed
except the baby. The ladies knew they
were untidy, and 1 that / was an intru-
der. AS for the learned father, he stood
now on one leg and now on the other,
while he shifted the waste.paper basket
from hand to hand and continued TO
smile almost as perseveringly as his
offspring. Yet il was he who
at last put an end to our vkward posi-
ton by expressing a wild desire to have
my opinion of the new curtain in his
study. Rather sheepishly said good
by to the lady of the house, trying to
express by my eyes that I would never
call again unannounced. l knew that |
Mrs. Hanway had not forgiven me as l |
humbly took the two fingers that she
offered and felt like a brute as the
most important member of the family
condescended to leave damp spot by |
the edge of my left whisker.
When, however, I had been swept
by my impulsive friend,
and was alone with him in his den, my
returned, and with it some in
dignation. I confronted him, and stern
ly asked why L had not been told he was
a father? "Not been told?" he echoed
" do You mean to say that you did not
know about the baby? ?" "Not so much
as that it was" replied, gloomily. He
was overwhelmed; of course he had
that everybody knew it from
the queen eownwards. OF course fifty
people ought to have told me, who of
course had told me everything else. At
last my curiosity got the better of my
indignation, and l cut short his apollo
gies by beginning my questions "Does
the shape of its head content you?" I
asked. "The shape of whose what p
cried the philosopher, apparently too
surprised for grammar. "Of the baby's
head, of course" l replied tartly; "I
merely wish to know if the child is
likely to be as intellectual as you
hoped" "Isn't the hair lovely ?" he
asked, inconsistently. This was too
much, and assuming my severest man.
ner, I delivered myself in this wise ~
thought, though no doubt I was wrong,
that the use of baby to you would be
partly to furnish you with raw material
for philosopher, partly to enable you,
by constant observation, to gain further
evidence on such vexed questions as
whether the infant gathers its ideas of
space by feeling about, whether it is
conscious of itself, etc." "Well," he
said, laughing, 81 don't expect much
help from my infant in these matters,
unless can get inside her and think her
thoughts" :" Her thoughts ?" cried I,
in amazement "you don't mean to say
it's girl? Good graciousl you are not
going to educate female philosopher p
He looked rather vexed. "Of course
it's girl" he said. "The father of
female philosopher" gasped. "Dear
me |" he said, somewhat testify; "isn't
il enough to be the father of noble
woman?"
Now, 1 have often put up with great
deal from my learned Irlenu, anu all
quite aware that have been spoken OF
as "Bozzy" behind my back. But there
is turning point even for the worm,
and nobody will sit forever at the feet
which are constantly kicking him. l
had been snubbed more than once by
this illogical parent, and, assuming my
most sarcastic manner, inquired with
an appearance of Difference "Is it not
rather early to speak of your daughter
as q noble woman2"
"Not at ALL" said the philosopher.
I had kept aloof from the philosopher
for some weeks, nursing my wrath, like
Achilles, 1 said to myself as q
bear, I overheard my landlady say in
the passage-when l received hasty
note begg' Ie me to come to him at
once. fancied myself summoned to a