Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1874-04-04
Searching for a Woman,s Pocket.

The most difficult thing to reach is
woman's pocket. This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up in the closet,
and the man is in a hurry. We think
we are safe in saying that he always is
in a hurry on such an occasion. The
owner of the dress is in the sitting room
serenely engrossed in book. Having
told him that the article which he is in
quest of is in her dress pocket in the
closet she has discharged her whole duty
in the matter, and can afford to feel Sc
rene. He goes at the task with a dim
consciousness that he has been there
before, but says nothing. On opening
the closet door and finding himself con-
fronted with a number of dresses, all
turned inside out, and presenting most
formidable front, he hastens back to
ask Which dress ?" and being told the
brown one, and also asked if she has so
MANI dresses that there need be any
great effort to find the right one, he re-
turns to the closet with alacrity, and
soon has his hands on the brown dress.
It is inside out like the rest-a fact he
does not notice, however, until he has
made several Intellectual attempts to get
his hand into it. Then he turns it
around very carefully and passes over
the pocket several times without being
aware of it. A nervous moving of his
hands, and an appearance of perspira-
ton on his forehead, are perceptible,
He now dives one hand in at the back.
and, feeling around, finds a place, and
proceeds to explore it, when he discov-
ers that he is following up the inside of
lining. The nervousness increases,
also the perspiration. He twitches the
dress on the hook, and suddenly the
pocket, white, plump, and exasperating,
comes to view. Then he sighs the re-
lief he feels, and is mentally grateful he
| did not allow himself to use any often
sive expressions. 1t is all right now.
There is the pocket in plain view-not
the inside, but the outside-and all he
has to do is to put his hand right around
in the inside and take out the article.
That is ALL He can't help but smile to
think how near he was to getting mad
Then he puts his hand around to the
other side. He does not feel the open
ing. He pushes little further-nov
he has got it-he shoves the hand down
and is very much surprised to see it ap
pear opposite his knees. He had made
a mistake. He tries again again ht
feels the entrance and glides down i
only to appear again as before. Thii
makes him open his eyes and straighte1
his face. He feels of the outside of thu
pocket, pinches it curiously, lifts it up
shakes it, and, after peering closel.
about the roots of it, he says, B,
Gracious y and commences again. H,
does it calmly this time, because hurry
ing only makes matters worse. Ill
holds up breadth after breadth, goe
over them carefully, gets his hand frs
into lining, then into the air agail
| (where it always surprises him when i
appears), and finally into pocket, an,
he discovers that it is the pocket to an
other dress. He is mad now; tn
closet air almost stiles him !; he is s.
nervous he can hardly contain himself
and the pocket looks at him so exasper
atingly that he cannot help but "plug
it with his clenched fist, and immedi
ately does it. Being somewhat relieve
by this performance, he has chance t
look about him, and sees that he ha
put his foot througha band box and int
the crown of his wife's bonnet !; ha
broken the brim to his Panama ha
which was hanging in the same closet
and torn about a yard of bug'e trimmin
from new CLOAK. AS all lulS brOuUi
is due directly to his wife's infatuatio
in hanging up her dresses inside ou
he Immediately starts after her, and in
petuously urging her to the closet, e.
citedly and almost profanely intimate
his doubts of there being pocket
the dress, anyway. The cause of th
unhappy disaster quietly inserts he
! hand inside the robe, and directly bring
, it forth with the sought for article
its clasp. He doesn't know why, b,
this makes him madder than anythin
else.-D0nbakru NeaUs.