The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-03-21

ENoUGH SAID Kiss me, - was all she said
Modern novel. That was "enough said - to
any young man.
DO Nor REALLY WEEP.-They say erocOdies do
not really weep; we know sailor, though, who
has seen whales blubber. -
BADLY WORRIED-A Springfield, ILL.,, editor
who took Turkish bath is now badly worried
abOut his clothes. They all two sizes too large
Nor TILL ATTER.-COoing is well enough be-
fore marriage, but the billing doesn't come till
after; and then it comes from the tradesmen.
NEvER.-One thing, said an old topper, was never
seen coming through the rye, and that's the kind
Of whisky one gets nowadays.
ONE CoSsOIArIoN.-Adam had one consolation
when he fell. Fifteen or twenty acquaintances
didn't stand on the opposite corner and laugh at
the mishap
CAN MARRY.-A Green Bay paper says that a
widOwer with a clean shirt can marry In that
town within three hours. Green Bay is northeast
of Detroit--boats leave in May.
PASSION FOR GAlBLING.-A French paper points
out how the passion for gambling is shown in this
country so that even in wedding notices 1t Is ne
cessary to state that there were Z" no cards
LIKE A Beavers HUT.-At a late conference
session n clergyman gave a reason why.the Baptist
Church is like a beavers hut 'sThere is only
one entrance to it, and that is under water"
SUBSTANTIAL Ev1DEScE-The only substantial
evidence Of Christianity that the editor of paper
at Golden, Col, noticed IN that city, last week,
was a church deacon drawing up a trust deed TO
secure five per cent. month on a loan.
Norryryp.-Within the last three months the
President has appointed thirty pOstmistresses.
The consequences might have been anticipated
T,venty-seyen Of them have already notified their
husbands that their services are no longer required
trxv OIp Boors.-A veteran observer says that
. ola friends are like old boots. We never realize
how per(ectly they were fitted to till they are
east aside and Others finer and more stylish, per-
haps, but crampng and Pinehing IN every corner
are substituted
His PKEEEKExcE.-A little four-year-old in
Richmond, very fond Of n certain dish, when asked
nv his mother If ne wouldn't like TO be angel
With wings and fly about heaven like his little
brother. replied, after pause: "No, ma; Ida
heap rather be hawk, and live on chicken"
New DEscRIPTION.-Cora, who is three years
old with the most rOguIsh blue eyes that ever
sparkIed in a baby's head, was taken to church
the other night, by her mamma. and on her re-
turn she gave a new description Of bald head by
saving that she had seen man whose hair was
all worn out.
the Ashland, Wisconsin, Press. mentioning a
thanksgiyin:, dinner among the Indians, says
IL there IS any one thing Chippewa Indian
likes IL Is dead % hOss,' and especially one that
has died q natural death. " Old Curly, as
usual, took part in the feast, and when last seen
was guawinS the . port =" hoof Of Its hind leg.
He had lived about seventy years, has eaten
everything from fne-tOOth comb to a 50 square
meal and still he enjoys good health
The people in New Mexico originate some curl
ous societies In Mesilla and Las Cruces they
baye-or IL Is said they haye-what arc known as
the Pie-Biters," composed Of persons passion
ateIy fond of pies. 50 strong has the rivalry
crown between the two societies that challenge
resulted and the contest is reported to have been
rs follows. s'The pies were to be mince and one
inch thick, Mesilla TO bite first, and no bite to
count unless ii reached the centre OF the pie.
AIesiIla piled up nine pies and shut down on them
without an effort. Las Cruces elevated the top OF
his head and closed his jaws over eleven. Great
enthusiasm among his friends. Alesilla came to
the scratch or bite, manfully, and Topped his lip
over dozen successfully. [Odds offered on Me-
sillaI Las Cruces, at this point, said We'll
it IS time TO stop this nonsense; hand me fifteen.
They were given him; nc smiled, laid the back
of his head on his shoulders, and came down on
the bundle Of pies like an alligator on mouth.
ful of flies. But his teeth did not come together
IIe struggled and jerked, but it was no use
Three of his teeth broke and his hold gave way
On examining, dOg-collar was found In the cen
tire pie, and Las Cruces had got his teeth tangled
in the buckle. Jack Martin, the referee, decided
in favor Of Mesila, ON the ground that everything
was fair in a mince-pie.'