Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-25
INpIETIES.
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Australian bushmeA believe that
if they're very wicked they will be
condemned hereafter to return to
earth in the form of white settlers.
Rev. Mr.. Pickles is the Methodist
minister at Lisbon, Me. His bust
ness is to preserve souls from world
lyl contamination. -
Exhorters in meetings should re-
member the miller's old adage, "al-
ways shut the gate when the grist
is out" ~
A Georgia clergyman with thirty
two children, breaches most effec-
tive sermons on the absurdity of
polygamy. oL5 ~
Two reverend gentlemen in ILL.,
nois r I'm the second week of a
public discussion, whether people
who differ from one Of them can es-
cape eternal punishment.
~ pray for our enemies, brethren;
but ] always pray that they may go.
to hell" was the pious remark of
Brigham Young, Jr., at the Confer
ence meeting at Salt Lake last Sat-
urday. OH
When you drop into o PRAYER
meeting among the Chippewa In
dams, you will have the pleasure of
hearing them sing: "Kewetahuhyee
uhyod keche munhe unhgomuhwug
metah swok ubbe mole yug."
Mr.. Post is q Wisconsin Christian.
Last Sunday he went to church and
found Mrs. Sohlulimgen in his pew.
Not caring to have his devOtions
disturbed by the worldly thoughts
her proximity might suggest, he
grasped her firmly by the ear, and
thus escorted this poacher on gospel
privileges to the aisle.
A Methodist preacher while enga-
ged i'm q little game Of draw poker at
Salem, Oregon, the other evening,
moved a littlO in his chair, when
the hammer of his pistol caught i'm
his pocket, in some way, and the
weapon was discharged, frightening
the divine's opponent in the game
very badly He wants to know
what preachers carry pistols fore
A minister named Hardy, while
preaching i'm Bullitt county, KY, a
few Sundays ago, was worried by a
who made noisy interpOla-
tons at frequent intervals. So he
came down from his pulpit and gave
the young man a Notwithstanding,
for which little diversion Mr.. Hardy
paid q justice of the peace SIS the
next day.
"How d. you feel, my friend %,
said Mr.. Hammond, the revivalist,
to a man standing in a crowd at
Quincy. "DoT you see anything
green ?" said the man, pointing to
his eye, as much as to say that he
was in no notion of being converted
right there on the spot. "No, my
replied Mr.. Hammond, |
but / see something red-your |
nose, and it cost $500 to paint it, if
you paid for the drinks"
A eminent Scottish divine who
vas i'm the city last week, expressed
he opinion that America was far
lhead of Scotland in the matter of
mixed drinks, and far behind
the matter Of plain straight
whisky. This is not the first time
We have had occasion to complaiA
4 the whisky manufacturers Of thu
ountry. Unless they cultivate their
lational pride mere sedulously,
AMERICA a not hope to rise in the
aspect and esteem of intelligent for
igners.
Som body in Dubuque has a
ottle of water from the sacred
.ring Of Lourdes, with which he
ures cancer, and curvature of the
pine, and other diseases. 1t is
al to think, however, that our
reat and glorious Republic should
e compelled to depend upon an
fete nOndescript of a nation for its
Ipply of healing water. There is
hot spring in Idaho which the in
abitants say is 'Just half q
lille from hell" II we Q pro-
uce such q thing, we certainly
lght to have the opposite. A j
eavy duty on the Lourdes water
nd the judicious use Of q cataleptic
ri might lead to the discovery of
such thing as that Of Lourdes
/ this side of the Atlantic.
At the conclusion of his sermon
"Religious Bugs" last Sunday, a
'eacher In Worcester announced
s Programmed ofsuhjects until the !
I'd Of July: !
May 24NPaul's Shoe Fly! '
May 3l1Cremation. /.
June 7LRepublican Locusts. ]
June 14NEmpty Churches and :
ow to Fill them.
June 2l-Mains street. IN
June 2S-Pharaoh's Lean Kline. 4
July @The Mad Prophet. -,
July your Hatter?"
July l9-'Popping the Question: G
I~ 00 .