The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-06-12

"Will you have cup of tea or cot
fee ?" said the woman, kindly.
I" Yes, madam" said Armstrong, Il
will take both"
He is crazy, sure as can be" said
the woman. But she brought the two
cups, as ordered. "Milk and sugar ?"
she inquired kindly, as before.
No, madam, mustard and red pep
per, answered Armstrong.
do believe he is fool" said the
woman, as she went for the pepper and
mustard.
Armstrong, with deliberate GOODNESS,
put spoonful of red pepper into the
tea and a spoonful of mustard into the
coffee. Then he poured the two to-
gether into large tin cup, Then the
old conflict ragged again, and, high
above the din of rafting tin cups and
pewter spoons, sounded the stern
command Armstrong, drink it, sir
drink it down." A momentary hesita-
ton and few desperate gulps, and 1T
was down. "Oh, yes, said our hero,
as his throat burned and the tears ran
from his eyes, "you buck your money
away at three-card monte, do you?
Now, the Thomsonian dose above
described very nearly ended the battle
with poor Armstrong. He was silent
for quite time, and everybody else
was silent. After while the landlord
ventured to suggest that bed could be
provided if it was desired. "No," said
Armstrong, "I'll sleep on the floor.
You see, stranger, said he, eying the
landlord with a peculiar expression,
"this fool has been squandering gold
dust at monte-three-card monte-and
does not deserve to sleep in bed. F"
So Armstrong ended the days battle
by going to bed on the floor. Then
came the dreams. He first dreamed
that he was sleeping with his feet on
tropics, while all the miners of Yuba
were ground-sluicing in his stomach.
Newt, he dreamed that he had swal-
lowed Mount Shasta for supper, and
that the old mountain had suddenly
become an active volcano, and was vom-
iting acres and acres of hot lava.
Then the scenes shifted, and he
seemed to have found his final abode in
place of vile smells and fierce flames,
POLITICALLY called the antipodes of
heaven. And while he writhed and
groaned in sleepless agony, a fork
tailed fiend with his thumb at his nose,
was saying to him in hooking voice /:
q" You buck your money aaOay at three
card monte, do yOu-hey?" But even
this troubled sleep had an end at last,
and Armstrong arose. When he
looked at himself in the broken look
ing glass that hung on the wall, he
thought his face bore traces of wisdom
that had never been there before. So
he said 81 think YOU have learned a
lesson, Armstrong. You can go back
to your mining now, sir, and leave
monte alone" Time showed that he
was right. His lesson was well
learned. The miners looked little
curious when he reappcared at the
camp, and still called him crazy. But
he had learned lesson many of them
never learned, poor fellows. They
continued their old ways, making
money fast and spending it foolishly-
even giving it TO monte dealers. But
the Armstrong firm was never broken
in that way but once. After that, when
ever he saw one of the peculiar signs,
" Robbers Roost, "Fleecer's Den, y
or Fools Last Chance Armstrong
would shake his head with knowing
air, and say to himself as he passed
along ooh, yes, Armstrong, you've
been there you know all about that
you don't buck your money away at
three-card monte-not much !'-OCer-
! iand DOnthy.