The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-12-25
MISCELLANY.
OLD TIMES on THE MISSISSIPPI
rrrnm the January Atlantic ]
BY MARK TWAIN.

rades in our village, on the west bank OF
the Mississippi river. That was, to be
a steamboatman. We had transient am
billions of other sorts, but they were on
lv transient. When n circus came and
went, it left us all burning to become
clowns, the first negro minstrel show
that came to our section left US all suf-
fering to try that kind of life; now and
then we had hope that if we lived,
and were good, God would permit us to
be pirates. These ambitions faded out,
each in turn; but the ambition TO be
steamboatman always remained.
Once day cheap, gaudy packet ar
rived upward from St. Louis, and anoth-
er downward from Keokuk. Before
these events had transpired, the day was
glorious with expectancy; after they had
transpired, the day was dead and emp
ty thing. Not only the boys, but the
whole village, felt this. After all these
years, can picture that old time to my
self now, just as it was then; the white
town browsing in the sunshine Of sum-
mer's morning; the streets empty, or
pretty nearly so; one or two clerks sit
ting in front of the Water street stores.
with their splint- bottomed chairs tilted
back against the walls, chins on breasts,
hats slouched over their faces, asleep
with shingle shayings enough around to
shoH Eslsst broke them downia sow and
litter of pigs loafng along the sidewalk,
doing good business in water melon
rinds and seeds; two or three lonely lit
tie freight piles scattered about the
"levee," pile of "skids" on the slope
of the stone paved wharf, and the fra
grant town drurkard asleep in the shaa-
ow of them; two or three wood fats at
the head of the wharf but nobody to lis
ten to tho peaceful tapping of the wave
lets against them; the great Mississippi,
the majestic, the magnificent Mississip-
pi, rolling its mile wide tide along, shin
ing in the sun; the dense forest away on
the other side; the "point" above the
town, and the "point" below, bounding
the river glimpse and turning it into
sort of sea, and withal very still and
brilliant and lonely one. Presently
film of dark smoke appears above one
of those remote "points;" instantly ne
gro drayman, famous for his quick eye
and prodigious voice, lifts up the cry,
"S-t-e e-a-m-boat a-comin'p and the scene
changes! The town drunkard stirs,
clerks wake up, furious clatter of drays
a human contribution, and all in a
twinkling the dead town is a live and
moving. Drays, carts, men, boys, all
go hurrying from many quarters to
common centre, the wharf. Assembled
there, the people fasten their eyes upon
the coming boat as upon wonder they
are seeing for the first time. And the
boat is rather handsome sight, too.
She is long and sharp and trim and
pretty; she has two tall, fancy-topped
chimneys, with gilded device of some
kind swung between them; fanciful
pilot-house, all glass and gingerbread"
perched on top of the "texas" deck be-
hind them; the paddle-boxes are gorge
Gus with picture or with gilded rays
above the boats name; the boiler deck,
the hurricane deck, and the texas deck
are fenced and ornamented with clean
white ratings; there is flag gallantly
flying from the jack-staff; the furnace
doors are open and the fires glaring
bravely, the upper decks are black with
passengers; the captain stands by the big
bell, calm, imposing, envy of all; great
volumes of the blacklist smoke are roll
ing and tumbling out Of the chimneys-
husbanded grandeur created with bit
of pitch pine just before arriving at a
town; the crew are grouped on the fore
castle; the broad stage is run far out
over the port bow, and an envied deck
hand stands picturesquely on the end of
it with coil of rope in his hand; the
pent steam is screaming through the
guage cocks; the captain lifts his hand,
bell rings, the wheels stop; then they
turn back, churning the water to foam,
and the steamer is at rest. Then such
a scramble as there is to get abroad, and
to get ashore, and to take in freight and
to discharge freight, all at one and the
same time, and such yelling and ours
ing as the mates facilitate it all
with Ten minutes later the steamer
is under way again, with no flag on the
jack-staff and no black smoke issuing
from the chimneys. After ten more
minutes the town is dead again, and the
town drunkard asleep by the skids once
more.
My father was justice of the peace
and supposed he possessed the power Of
life and death over all men and could
hang anybody that offended him. This
was distinction enough for me as gen.
eral thing; but the desire to be a steam
boatman kept intruding, nevertheless.
first wanted to be cabin-boy, so that
could come out with a white apron oil
and shake table-cloth over the side
where all my old comrades could see me
later / thought / would rather be tn
deck-hand who stood on the end of tn
stage-plank with the coil of rope in hi
hand, because he was particularly con
spicious. But these were only day
dreams-they were too heavenly to b
contemplated as real possibilities. B.
and by one of our boys went away. H
was not heard of for long time. A
last he turned up as apprentice engi
neer or "striker" on steamboat. Thi
thing shook the bottom out of all m
Sunday school teachings. That boy ha
been notoriously worldly, and I jus
the reverse; yet he was exalted to hi
eminence, and left in obscurity an
misery. There was nothing generou
about this fellow in his greatness. II
would always manage to have rust
bolt to scrub while his boat tarried &
our town, and he would sit on the insid