The Portland daily press., 1874-02-05
THE PRESS.
THURSDAY MORNING. FEB. s, 1874
Gossip and Gleanings.

They say Alaska has its seal ring.
Thermometers are livelier this year than
they have ever been before, in the memory Of
the Oldest inhabitant.
"Men may come and men may CO." re-
marks the Chicago Tribune in an article on
Miss Anthony, ''but this woman runs on for
ever"
"WLere were your children born % asked
a census-taker ola Corkonian mother. Tim
was born down stairs, sir, and Bridget in the
attic" was the lucid answer.
Here is a matrimonial advertisement: "a
young lady of exterior and pleasant appear
ance wishes to marry gentleman OF just the
same way OF thinking.
How strong is mothers love! An Edin-
burgh woman paid two dollars postage 20 send
shirt to her son in st. Paul, where he could
have bought it for forty cents.
1t is written on the sky, on the pages of
the air, say the Orientals, that good deeds
shall be done to him who does good deeds to
others.
The astronomer Proctor is Of opinion that
the moon is without atmosphere or water.
The Brooklyn argus thinks the latter fact
horf for f,Ei,, ,;ob eho
improvidently does with her first quarter"
A pious old lady being asked by her pastor
what she thought of the doctrine of total de-
pravity, replied she thought it most excel
lent doctrine, and had no doubt it had been
the means Of saving many souls.
We think it barbareus that girls should be
sold for wives by their parents in Turkey; yet
we should remember that in this country not
day passes without bride being given away
by her father.
Mrs. Partington says that Ike, having be-
come enanaeled of syren of Boston, has led
her to the menial altar. He didn't appear the
iCdSt uiG uCCOupOScus Ou Tue UdCh VI nio
wedding-cards were little cubebs with wings.
Marin, may go fishing?" said little fax
en-haired urchin. Eyes, sonny, but don't 60
near the water, And remember, if you're
drowned, shall skin you, as sure as you're
alive.'
Speaking of centenarians and other elderly
people, a man applied for lodging at one of
the stations, Saturday night, who said that
be escaped from the Taunton Lunatic Asy
lum thousand years ago. Either that man
is very old or else he lied.
A man once called on President Lincoln.
He had shaken hands with him, observing:
''Don't be scared, Mr.. Lincoln, 1 don't want
an office"
SIS that so?" asked the President; then give
us another shake"
A young lady from Georgetown came to
Washington the other day to have her picture
taken. When the artist showed her the
s'proof" and asked her how she liked it, she
placidIy remarked that he ''put too danred
much mouth On it to suit her,
A spread-eagle orator Of New York State
wanted the wirgs of bird to fly to every
village and hamlet in the broad land; but he
wilted when naughty boy i'll the crowd sang
out, ''You'd be shot for a goose before you
had flew mile"
A bachelor says if you hand lady ne VS.
| paper with paragraph cut out of it, not a
line Of it will be read, but every bit Of inter-
est felt in the paper by the lady will centre in
finding out what the missing paragraph con-
| tanned.
The other day sermonizing Aberdeen pas
tor said to one of bis congregation who hap
| pened to slip down in the street while he was
passing, "Brother, brother, sinners stand on
slippery paces.'' The fallen one, sensitive
and smarting, res pondcd, 81 see they do; but
| couldn't
s'See therep' exclaimed man who had
just had contest with fleeing burglar, to a
gaping crowd, as he rointed with some pride
and good deal of nervousness to bullet
hole through the crown of his hat. "Look
at the hole, will you? You see, that if tlls
had been low crowe hat, I should have
been killed outright"
One of the most interesting features Of the
Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition will be
| cage containing all the obituary writers of
that city. The champion, who will occupy q
| prominent place near the door, has lately
produced the following:
No more his pa will candy bring
Unto his darling boy;
He nd al0ft will praises sing,
Expressive of his joy.
With little angels he will stay,
His rattle spring with pride;
And bless the day when far away
He laid them down and died.
Gone to meet his grandmother.
The last line the author considers too good
to associate with anything else in English
verse, and places it boldly alone.-Matden
s'Draw Poker"
Hoosier Boys i'm the Army-A "Big
Game''-s Five Aces''-and . Hundred
Thousand Dollars.
indianapolis Sentinel.l
Yesterday Sentinel reporter, having ap-
peared in this busy world too late for church,
was Willing away the afternoon making his
usua rounds when he encountered an "Old