The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1874-08-01
All Sorts of Paragraphs.


ton" novel.
A BROTHER of the Khan or Khiva has
Joined the Russian army.
The Portuguese can now enjoy
g Evangeline'' in their own tongue.
VINO is the LATEST man? The furni-
trlre dealer he keeps chairs and lounges
about all the tima.
THE late Chief-Justice Chase, in one
of his letters, speaks of a persons APP
pearance as being ''an assault and bat
terry upon physiognomy.' -
A SMALL child, on hearing a superin-
tendent in the midst of long address,
ask, CHOW, what shall [ say?" re-
sponded with, "Please say amen"
GOULD, the sculptor, has been en-
gagged on statue of the Ghost in
" Hamlet" This will give Healy a
chance to remark, "Alas, poor ghost ~
How long Will my chopbe waiter %
angily asks hungry man in a restau-
rant. "About five inches, sir, was the
accurate reply.
A KANSAS girl wouldn't be married
without yellow ribbon around her
waist, and boy rode three miles to get
it while the guests waited.
THE farmers don't want to hear any
thing more about ''areas of rain"
They don't think that rain is III arrears
at all
THE latest joke about "Tupper,s
Proverbial Philosophy " is that it has
been dramaticized by Mr. Dion Bouci-
cault for London theatre.
A MAN in Washington County, Tennes-
see, has COW which has given by accu-
rate weight 2,040! pounds of milk in
thirty days. She is an Ayrshire breed,
and the smallest amount given in a day
was 81 pounds.
A TRULY happy day" Well, Leo
nora, what have you and Harold been
doing at Aunt Mabel's to-day?" Had
dinner" "And what did you do after
dinner?" Had tea" "But what did
you do between dinner and tea?" "Had
some cake. "
IT is said that the mosquitoes are I'M
usually large this season. The only
satisfaction that people who are obliged
to remain in the city can get from this,
is the hope that the old bull mosquitoes
will loaf around the back yards at night
and eat up the tom cats.
ASTRONOMERS tell us that the tail of
the comet Will, after passing over tie
earth, envelop the moon, thus verifying
the words of the poet:
d" Soon as the evening shades prevail
! The moon takes up the wond'rous tail
A JOHN BULL who had been intro
duced to the Emperor of Russia kept
pacing steamers deck, exclaiming,
The Gear is great the Gear is
great p Eyes" said bystander, ''but
God is greater" ooh, to be sure"
was Bulls reply; "but then, you know,
the Gar is young yet"
A DRUNKARD meets beggar, who
presents pitfully his claim to charity
"Ah, sir, give me something; ] am
dying with hungerl" "Humph! - re-
torts the drunkard "hunger that's
nothing-of no consequence But the
thirst, you see, the thirst-that is some
thing
AN Irish glazier was putting Il pane
of glass into a window, when a groom
who was standing by began joking him,
telling him to mind and put in plenty
of putty The Irishman bore the ban
ters for some time, but at last silenced
his tormentOr with" Arrah, now, be
off wild ye, or Ill put a pain in your
head without any putty.
In beginning the world, if you don't
wish to get chafed ut every turn fold
up your pride carefully, put it under
/ lock and key, and only let it out to air
on grand occasions. Pride is a gar
nent all stiff brocade outside, all
skin. Even kings don't wear the del
|
A FRESH cargo of antiquities from
Ephesus has arrived at the British
Museum. Among them are lions
head from the cornice of the last tenn
pie two lions heads, more ancient,
from former temples boar's head
more fragments of the archaic frieze;
large fragment of one of the large ac-
roteria from one of the pediments one
or two more fragments of scu!ptul 'd
drums and columns, and other objects.
"Have you damp sheets in your
hOtel?" inquired the fastidious old
party at the - House, the other
evening, after he had written his name
and handed his carpet-bag to the hall
boy, preparatory to ascending to the
room assigned him. 81 don't think we
have any on hand just now," answered
the bald-headed clerk, "but I'll order
pair put under a faucet for you, sir,
| directly" Fastidious old party and
bald-headed clerk adjourn to the bar.
| A CERTAIN "Uncle James of our &C
quaintance, whose execution is not
quite equal to his preference for the
violin, WAS paid a delicate left-handed
| compliment the other night by his little
neice, who, on being awakened some
| time in the small hours of the night by
| the hideous performances of two felines
under the window, naively remarked
"Mamma. ] don't like to hear Uncle
James play on violin. "-PrOUidence
| Press.
Recently there was caught in Board
man River, some three or four miles
from Grand Traverse Mich, brook
trout which measured twenty fiveinches
in length, and thirteen inches III cir
conference, and weighed five and a
half pounds We have seen it, handled
it, and measured it, and there is no mis-
take about it. Now if anybody can tell
a bigger story than this and yet tell
true one, let him speak out. SO far as
we know this is the largest trout ever
caught in this region, or anywhere else.
A CORRESPONDENT writes as follows of
a celebrated place in Colorado canon,
called Echo Park: ''WheL gun Is