The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-06-13
Dead, Poor Thing /!

up there was silence; door slammed
the Committee on Civil Service Reform, so
admirably constituted last December by
Mr.. James G. Blaine, OF Maine, came out
in a professional way, like housekeeping,
suppie-sinewed supernumeraries returning
10 the stage to report in blank verse the
carnage they have just wrought in the
wings there was moisture on the specta-
cles of the Chairman, Mr.. Kellogg of Con-
necticut, whose mouth overhowed with ex-
plantations, while his lips quivered with re-
greet Mr.. Butler, of Massachusetts, fol
lowed with a rolling gait and blood in his
eye, and that dreamy, stony stare, abstract
ed, but not unconscious, with which the
heavy statesman of the period contem-
plates the griefstricken mother whose in
FAINT he had sat down upon, answering her
reprnaches with the remark that 1T was a
puny child, and would have made trouble
in the family" there was that, indeed, in
the general aspect and behavior of the
committee that sigui6ed that something
had been strangled Not anything strong
or healthy or that was capable of resistance,
or that could SWIVEL protest. No, it was
not that kind Of a committee? But the
consciousness Of having strangled some
thing came in with them and sat on their
frosty brows. And Mr.. Dorman B. Eaton,
and MIR. Shellabarger, and the other ply
sicians in attendance who had been sitting
up nights with it giving it peppermint and
paregoric, while President Grant was Civ
ing it green cucumbers and constant care,
and the Senate was folding its undercloth-
ing so as to enliven it always with the
point of the persistent pin, leaned over to-
ward Mr.. Butler with the inquiry, rs it
well with the child?" The great states
man lowered his left eye with a dropping
lid upon the attending physicians, while
his right winked lazily at the Speaker and
a vision of the fall elections entered into
both as he answered, 1T is we'll" A sad
smile illuminated Franklin square, there
was the creaking of casters as an easy
chair was turned slowly around on Staten
Island the eulogy of Sumner was arrest
ed and the voice of an eminent physician
who gave up the case several months ago
was heard to say: Fed on green cucum-
" bers, rolled over by able-b bodied states
men and used as a pincushion by every
body, it had no earthly chance. | rejoice
" that it is out Of IT'S troubles and we may
have an end Of lying about it.
Well, it was a pleasing infant Puny
and sickly to be sure, but it had dimples
and double chin, and a hectic flush and
the light in its eye of hope deferred; and
on those thrilling occasions when prasi
dent Grant expressed his extraordinary
fondness for it by caressing it with his
mailed hand on both cheek, till it was red
in the face, out Of breath, and staggering
under an overwhelming sense of his pro-
lection, it was utterly charming. Much
money was expended upon il a catechism
was invented in its behalf, which applied
to the ordinary torch bearer of the fail
campaign the severest intellectual tests.
and eXtorted from such a scholar as Mar.
shall Sharpe information concerning the
principal lake ports and items of interest
concerning the vulgariCy of the fraction.
which were at once gratifying to the Presi-
dent OF the United States and convincing to
the Board OF Examiners Of the Civil Ser.
vice Commission. In behalf OF this Re
form, the great Republican party Vt this
country, which every disinterested states
man IN the postal and revenue service will
admit deserves the confidence Of the peo-
pie On account OF what it has done, has is.
sued more irredeemabie promises than on
any other subject except the currency. 1t
has c0ddIed 1t IN platforms, praised it upon
the stump, eulogized it in newspaper or
gans, and fairly kept it in low flesh and
slckiy by constant hugging and caressing.
The President kept saying in his messages,
The Reform in the Civil SERVICES making
tine progress. The only thing lacking is
tor Congress to pass laws fDrbidGing its
own members, under heavy penalties.
from interfering with appointments.
Friends Of the Administration pointed
with pride to the examination schemes
prepared by the Board of Examiners sew
eral times the Reform t1iumphed over
wooden-headed persons who had no friends
or influence, and made places for pudding
headed persons who had both. There
have been times in fact when the Reform
seemed an uncommon success, and when il
seemed probable that the present genera
ton would see the time when very few
heads OF departments would dot the first
person singular Of their personal pronouns
and hardly mail carrier in the country
would be ignorant of the principal lake
ports. Such was popular confidence. 1t
was exhibited tor the most part on the eve
OF important elections.
But it had It's foes Mr.. Morton of
Indiana, leading statesman Of the par
ty which adopted 1t in its platform.
and intimate and confidential friend
OF the President who urged Con
greSs to do something for it, turned up a.
leading statesman nose at it, and said we
had already the best Civil Service on the
planet. Mr.. Logan, likewise party leader
and Presidents friend, propelled toward it
a NO III boot. Mr.. Carpenter, conspicuous
IN the same two relations, desplsed it.
Mr.. Butler made faces at it, aud Mr..
george Gorham, Secretary of the Senate
and member Of the National Republican
Committee, wrote pamphlet about it
which was distributed under the ranking
privilege, and let US hope relieved some
distress where fuel was scarce Dir. Blaine
was very fond Of tin Name and enthu-
slastlc about it--before election. In Nash
lngton-atter election-he looked the mat
ter over very carefully; he observed how
tendery the President regarded it he
gazed into the thoughtful, EARNEST eyes or
representatives from all parts of this ia
Vored land who had told their constitu
ents how anxious they were to have the
Clvii Service reformed, and to be relieved
OF the responsibility of appointing post
masters; he read their profound sincerity
In Their eager eyes, aud he appointed-the
pail, bearers. The Hon. James q. Blaine.
OF Maine, we may be permitted to remark,
was not born yesterday.
Mr.. Kellogg, the Chairman of the Com
mittee'belng little uneasy at having been
removed from the Committee GU Patents,
where he could be very useful to the man
featuring interests Of the Naugatuck Val
iey,w as at first disposed to make it uncom-
tGrtable in his new position. lie reported
a bill