, 1874-02-22
HUMOR,

| -iTes6eQ lor t1me-EEFptlan munlm1eH.
| In tents e1citemcnt-Panc in circns.
| "A Indy in Washington WAS recently heard to
| observe, on taking uu the morning paper: ~
| wonder if anybody has been born that Know"
| -"Tm particularly uneasy on this point" said
the hy 70 the yon,nng gentleman Uho stuck him on
This is highly eo1ored: 1.-THE 1i1acs are bud
| ding" Bays Wisconsin editor. "You lilac sa-
tan" responds one OF his readers. ''You violet
the truth" politely replies the editor, and both
| are given over to blue dayils.
Il sophomore says he caanot understand
how any ono possessing Whist ia generally
known as conscience can counterfeit fve-
cent piece and put on the back OF it, ''In God
| wo trust"
| After asking your name in the State OF Ar
kansas. the natives are in the habit OF in-
| quir1ng, in confidential tons. We'll, now,
parts 7"
Abiding to the doa.h OF cit1zon recently,
the DanbuTy Netos remarks: "With tha single
exception Of twenty-thrce years ago, when ha
took few lessons on V1oiin, his life hss been
| blAmelesa-"
Edith O'Gorman is charged with being a
charlatan in potticoats- How should Charlotte
| Ann be draped?
| An Ohio woman riding On the cars with hor
boy said ho was 6. and when Billy rpoko up and
| declared he waA 10. the good women drew him
| faro she was obliged to pay.
| The cemetery pend Is the most popular in
this vicinity. Here, OF . clear night, and amid
| the solemn memories which cluster about tho
| spot. tie amateur skater strikes On the back OF
his head, and svears Iko pi1Rte.-Danbury
| Nezcs.
| A clergyman being invited to open Lesia-
lature VIII prayer, offered tho following am5lg-
| uous petition: May corruption and Blu Of cy-
cry form DO as faz from every mc1nbor OF this
Legislature as Thou art"
| A boy vas caush. stealing chcstnnts near a
cemetery. :. What's your narne ?" Tweed"
b!ubbored tho boy: The frightened ia:me1
dropped the boy and fed.
| How to make lady stick out her little
| finger. The best way Of aocarug this effect is
| to put on tho finger in question = handsome
| diamond ring.
"A Milwsn],co DIR goods clerk wears shin
gle under his shirt front to keep the wrinkles in
snbjection.
I "A iewele7 labeled some diamonds in his win
dow Is being a. sparkling as the tears Of young
| widow.
-. Do you 60 to sabbath-school, my lad2"
kindly asked ! city missionary Of dopraved
| litt!o Dubuque u1chin. *'Aa1T," answered the
innocent child, "but Two got fshtin' cock
that csn walk over anJ bird in this town that
| wears gaffg."
Gloomy and diaaipated youth (who la. dis
covered thai life is not worth having g)-"I hopo
/ sh:n't be alive after 39!" Unsynpathetic
elderly party" Is there any particular necessity
! that you should DO alive til 30!"
/ First swell tile SEQ 49, to-mor1ow's-
What's t'day, byth'by?, Second swell" Tnes-
day. isn't-or Mouday ?-w2s yest'day Sunday7
/ No mind (yawns my mani be hero presently
| pwecious saeewd fellow-'tcll us ito shot ~
! Punch.
Young lady. Did you know Strauss was
! dead?" Second ditto-''It is ouly the theo-
| logian, though"
Says the Milwaukee Sentinel: "An old Mil
waukee hummer, when he rc.d in yesterdays
Sentinel that tho women in Ohio xro cEuptyinX
baTTele OF whisky iuto the Euttors, patleticaIlY
exclaimed, What happiness to be an Ohio gut
terri
1t is re1ated that in certain town in the
northern part OF Maine the people wore holding
a meeting, when the pastor remarked that il any
present had relatives or friends in ds:aat lands
prayers would DO offered in thoir behalf. No
sooner wns tue sentence complete than simple
looking Individual arose and thus addressed the
pastor: 81 would like you to pray for m5
brother, He went array tTo weeks ago. aud
haven't heard from him Binco- I don't know
lest where he is, but you need not pray below
Bangor"
THE Baron de Z WAS miser to: the ex-
tre1nity Of meanness. He was at daSgc7s drawn
with his nephew, who was his L=ir, and moro
over spcndth1ift. Finding his end approach
ing, the Baron called hls valet. Here" said
IT, sen e sa aTa 9ay sls of
itins my nephew" But, Monsieur, stamped
paper is now twelve sous eheet." "Twelyo
sous! It is too dear. had rather let my
scoundrel Of nephew inherit. t."-L'!uustra!ion
/
put down." Madam (after nature ref1cction)-
'.What have you put down for the lady orer-
head Z"
-t:imkins playfulIy remarked to his wife that
hs had four fools: beautifooi, dutifool, YOUTH
fool, and delghtfool. "Poor mo!" said aha.
II havc but one.''
AT very successful heanco in Cincinnati,
the other night. maa burt into tears rhen the
medium described very accurately tall, blue
eyed spirit Standing by him, with light side-
whiskers and his hair parted in the middle: do
you know him ?" inquired q man at bis side IN
sympathetic whisper. Know him? guess
do" replied tho unhappy man, Tlping his eyes.
81 He was engaged to my vito. II he hadn't
died he would have been her husband ;nstead OF
me-. Oh, George, George!" he mu1mured, in
voice cuoked with emotion, Why did you peg
out?"
Yesterday tho little son OF onc Of onr cta-
zcns, whils playing With lis sister, = bright
sweet child Of S summers, got hold Of his fathers
gun, which had been left carclessly standing in
the kitchen By the thought1ess parent, pointed
the gun It Lis playmate, and, eaying joklngly,
.'II kill you!" pulled the trigger What must
have been that boys feelings when he found that
he had lied, that the gun was not loaded, and
TINT his innocent little e;s:er had knocked p0r
ton Of his nose OF with stick OF Hood.-As-
souri, Br14nsteicker.
PInRinEism.
The Oswego Tina. has good story to tell, tn
connection with tho literary piracy in which the
IT, fo+~ Hall.