The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-05-21
Sense and Nonsense.

The dentists are pulling through the
hard times remarkably we'll.
THERE is one town in Connecticut that
is not afraid of the measles. It's Haddam
MOST men like to see themselves in
print. Ladies like to see themselves in
silks and velvets.
SHOULD cremation ever become adopted
as a system, the expression, Peace to his
ashes" will mean something.
IT looks suspicious, to say the least, to
see two milk-men go to law about the
right of possession to aspiring.
A DOCTOR was once asked to dance the
"Lancers." He declined; but expressed
a willingness to lance the dancers.
NEXT to the "little busy bee," the
bootblack furnishes the brightest exam
pie of improving the shining hour"
AN exchange tells how the eye is
"swept and washed" How it is blacked
would furnish another interesting chapter.
ALTHOUGH one swallow does not make
summer, it will be noticed OH careful
observation that a robin makes spring.
THE last smart old man lives in Au-
gusta county, Va. He is ninety-one years
of age, and made his own coffin the other
day.
WHAT'S the difference between young
woman and an old one? One is careless
and happy; the other is hairless and
cappy.
THERE are over ten million women in
America, and yet Tom. Hutton, of
Georgia, hung himself on account of
girl fifteen years old.
A WOMAN hearing that former niece,
who had once tried to injure her, had been
seen in New Haven, inquired with red
hot eyes and cheeks, What did she have
on?'
"AND did you hear him call her my
dear, or anything like that@ asked the
lawyer. "No, sir! of course not; why,
she was his wife," answered the lady
witness.
In penitentiaries unprovided with lit
erary attractions to content the inmates,
they would, naturally, the first chance
they got, take advantage of the Coates
Ajar."
A STRANGER who threw a ten dollar
bill into the contribution box of q Sa-
vannah church, got trusted for five hun
dred dollars worth of goods next day Oh
the strength of it.
A QUARRELsoME couple were discuss
ing the subject of epitaphs and tomb
stones, and the husband said; "My dear,
what kind of stone do you suppose they
will give me when / dieY Birthstone,
my DEAR" was the afiectionate reply.
LITTLE GIRL" Mamma, don't think
the people who make dolls are very pious
people," Mamma Why not my
child T Little girl" Because you can
never make them kneel. / always have
to Law my doll down on her stomach to
say her prayers"
CONDUCTOR, why didn't you wake
me up, as | asked you? Here / am,
miles beyond my station" Conductor
"I did try, sir; but all could get you to
say was, 'All right, Maria; get the chill
dren their breakfast, and I'll be down il,
a minutev"
"YoU must have lived here long
time," said travelling Englishman to an
Oregon pioneer. eyes, sir; l have. Do
you see that mountain? Well, when L
came here that mountain was hole in
the ground" The Englishman opened
his half shut eyes.
con! Mary; my heart is breaking"
said an Aberdeen lover to his Highland
Mary. "Is it, indeed ? So much the
better for you," was her quiet reply.
"Why, my idolw Because, Mr..
McSmith, when it's broken, out and out,
you can sell the pieces for gun-fints."
IT is said that one of the editors of a
New Orleans paper, soon after cOmmenc-
ing to learn the printing business, went
to see preachers daughter. The next
time he attended meeting he was consid-
erably astonished to hear the preacher
announce as his text: "My daughter is.
previously tormented with a devil"
A GERMAN peddler sold man a liquor
for exterminating bugs. And how do
you use itT inquired the man after he
had bought it. "Ketch the bug, un
drop Won little drop into his mouth. an.
swered the peddler. Pshawp exclaimed
the purchaser, 81 could kill il in half the
time by stamping on it." "Vell," ex-
planned the German, "dat is good way,
too."