Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-01-02
SHE HAD FOUND OUT ABOUT 1T.
An Experience with the American
District Telegraph i'm philadelphia

mysteries 10 the lowest depths, aH0 Sht
explained them to mellow to push q
little white handle to the left, and pull
ring, when a messenger would pop
up out vi th5 he0t; thrust it to the left
and give the ring tug, and Police
man comes rafting down the chimney;
jerk at the ring as if you wanted a
shower bath, and the fire de-
partment would come, locomotive
speed, for enr domicile, supposed
70 be IN fan1es On the sesend day of
the dOmestication Of the latest Inedera
convenience in our abode my frst-born
summoned for messengers. Theinquisi-
tive boy went supperless to bed on the
eyentful day. His mother paid the
messenger, and ecOnOmIZed by saving
the child's evening meal. But the
crOwning triumph of the convenience
was not yet come, and it came ON a
dark, rainy night. l was sleeping the
sleep of innocence, wheh Mira. g. aToas-
ed me with the old news that there were
robbers trying to get into the house.
Having received this information SO
often ii the etilI watches of the night,
[ disregarded it and dozed on, bnt only
TO be jostled again by my wife, who was
wrought up 10 high degree of excite
ment. She insisted upon my hearken-
ing. | hearkcned. | did hear noise
Of some kind, and proposed to inyes-
gate.
"Oh, don't" screamed Mrs. G.;
you'll be killedl'' Think of Poster
PTobst. I'll save You, Gimmel, I'll
save us both from the bloodthirsty
wretcncs."
She rushed to her telegraph box and
pusaed and pulled. '.Pshaw." said she.
''l''e made mistake and she pushed
and pulled some more. Cob, dean"
sie..cried, pettishly, 81 WIS right at
first.
Then there was 4 noise In the back
yard again. Then my wife Cugged with
might andmain, screaming Historically
the while.
"NOw you see, Alph. what a jewel of
a wife you've got. Our latest modern
convenience viii save our Gyes-the
life Of our perrecious cheyild."
Hcre'therc was 4 terrific ringing IT
our door bell.
Run down, Gimmel; its the needed
succor, " said my wife.
obeyed. No sooner had / opened
the door than policeman grabbed me-
"Ah, you are the bui glar, are you:
New dodge, eh, Rigged UP in Il night
shirt with Il candle in your hand, But
| am to old bird 10 be caught with
such chat"
He shook my night garment rs
though ii contained burglars in every
stitch. and was about to drag me out Of
nay own hOuse-out into the rain-when
three dripping, sturdy boys came trudg-
ing over the threshold, followed by
more hurTying men.
1--WE be the messengers. SIR" bawied
all IN chorous.
Il Brought doctor" said the first
'he is coming up the steps
T. y brought a midwife, screamed the
second.
4 want to know rs to where I am t.
60" beloved the third
And while / started in speeohless
wonder, fifth lmatic came tearing up
the steps with metallic knapsack on
his back, and i hose and pipe in his
hand.
Tell me where's the fire" said he.
Then, snuiing the air he shouted: Il
smell it here - and bursting open the
paTlor door hePlayed a stream Of stale
soda water on the piano from his KNAPP
sack.
The policeman began to regard me
with speechless wonder, and would have |
demanded an explanation or an apollo |
" had no more policemen arrived with |
handouts and revolvers. Ny neigh !
bOrs to the right and left of me came |
IN armed with bed-posts. in the hurry |
Of alarm vTenched off. -Four mcn who |
dwell across the street came with shot |
guns. baseball clubs, billiard cues. ard
q feather brush; and, to heighten !
the din. steam FIRE engine came thun- !
dering up to the door, scTeeching ike |
a locomotive with bad cold, and close
behind clattered the insurance patrol |
wagon, which vehicle no sooner came |
to n halt than two men leaped from it |
with great roll of taTpaulin. with !
which they ran into the parlor and un |
rolled it over thesofas and centre table.
Surrounded on every side, my house
rendered a bedlam, | sought out the |
sergeant Of the police. and humbly ask
ed what it all meant.
why, You see, Mr.. Gimmel, - said |
lie. your district alarm-box struck so |
fiercely for police, messengers, and fire,
that IN duty bound We all came to see
what could be done in the premises
My wife set the machine a-going."
said l. and then proceeded. in my airy /
wardrobe, to seek my spouse, whom | |
found leaning out Of our back chamber
window, intently regarding the yard.
She was supported, IN flank and rear.
by my neighbors, armed with guns,
bats. and cues.
Il tell you the robbers are down
there, and | didn't ring for fire; at
least, didn't intend to
Madam" shouted 4 policeman at
the back stoop. in a voice not 10 be
oontradieted. "there are no robbers
here"
But l heard them with my own
ears, " persisted my undaunted wife; Il
heard them trying to climb up the tin
water-spout"
THAT was it, was it," asked the
cerulean guardian of the peace.
Yes, Just" determinedly sll2D
out Mrs Gimmel.
Loud and long and hearty laughed
that policeman, and between his res.
onant OUTLAWS he gulped out
1t waS-hal ha, ha,-a-he, he, be,
"a cat,-hO. no. hO.-a playing with
IA, ha, ha!-an empty tin tomato can
la, ha,-which it are rolling around
his here blessed yard for you all to see,
Ha, ha, ha," |
My wife began toweep, the neighbors j
o laugh, the patrOlmen to condemn
heir own eyes, the firemen to smell the 5
'ottle, and the three messengers To q
lance a triple jig in the hallway. Did t
comfort my solitary wife: No; left t
Icr to the tender mercies of the police t
and consoled the crowd ID
With the amber-colored contents of a II
a.4prnFaY. 1 =