The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-07-15
/ phun and phanoy.

-biHS-Sohe.
Never scare off fly with clul
Hhen you know that feather will d.
iust as well.
How Barney proposes to get ovel
lis single blessedness-By proposing
10 Bridget.
Why is liquor tavern contra
diction in terms? Because it Is an
inn convenience.
Did Patrick Henry have crema-
ton in view when he fred the Anne,
Iican heart?
The worst suits invented nova
days are the Zebra, invented at Sing
Sing, and lawsuits.
"A complaint has been made that
one of the New York policeman can
not read Or write. Possibly he was
selected for the position as a man of
mark.
aterburn, Conn, has a bashful
Young man, who made a call one eve
ming, and after partaking of little
ice cream and cake asked: rs there
anything else?'
"A hard working, eminently pious
woman once said: II don't want to
go to heaven as soon as | die, but "a
ther to sleep in the grave thousand
years or SO, to get rested"
-"Where is your father" said an
angry master to the son of his habit
ually tipping domestic. "He $
downstairs, SIR" "Getting drunk,
l suppose" "No, sir, he amt
What them Getting sober, sir"
The precocious chap who inven-
ted the following conundrum has had
ice on his head for some days, aud it
is thought he will recover if kept
quiet for q week or 50: "Why is an
elephant like a tree? Because tree
leaves in the spring, and the ele-
plant leaves when the menagerie
does"
Hon. Rufus Choatc wrote q very
hand. A gentleman in
Boston said he meant to vote for the
requirement of the reading and wri-
ting test for voters, so asto prevent
Mr.. Choate from voting. "Take
care" said another, "Mr. Choate will
write and ask you to read it, and so
your vote"
AN exchange says: While Rev.
Mr.. Summerbell was joining two
'ouls for life, yesterday, the brides
ather stuck shot gun through the
window and took it back again. He
Eas only in fun. The doctors have
licked twenty buckshot from the
'Edegroom's back, and the minister
5 looking for several in his own hip.
altogether, it was a very pleasant
'edding.
The following is literal copy of
letter lately received by a clergy
IAN in Pittsburg, through the Post
'tlice: "Riverent sir, | forbid the !
ands of Marriage between Edwood &
luitt and Mary Ann Howell, the
Jason is he is under age, and she a
ave got husband alive, and she +,
ent away from him; He is in CARR r
ia, and she is with her unkell, so =
'u cannot marry them sir, and o
ursent." a
"A New Hampshire farmer want
a farm hand, and was applied to '
an lrishman, who wanted to work. c.
ne farmer objected to engaging Pat,
the ground that two Irishmen pre- =
ously in his employ had died on his
nds. "Then you object to hiring n
D for that, do you?" said Fat "
'aith, and | can bring you recon- =,
'ndations from many place where u
re worked that l never played such
rick"
A boy from the country was re- "
'tly taken as page into gentle
ms family. One afternoon, just G'
fore dark, after having been called
to the drawing room, he came y,
wn into the kitchen, laughing i'm VI
'derateiy. whats the matter?, --
cd the cook. "W by dang itr'
. he, ''there are twelve on EN- I'D =
re who couldn't light the gas, and S.
y had to ring for me to come and
hit it,"
"A countryman with his bride uN
pped at a Troy hotel the other s
:. AT dinner, when the waiter
scented a bill of fare, the Young
n inquired: "What's thetr, IT
hats . bill of fare" said the wal. tho
The young man took it in his
'd, looked inquiringly at his wife,
then at the waiter, and finally 7
o down into his pocket and very Fl Ere