Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1874-12-12
MIR. CAIN AS A CANDIDATE.
THE EXPERIENCE OF a MAN WHO DID MOI
LONG FOR FAME.

John Cain was quiet, unobtrusive
citizen. He didn't long for fame and
renewn, and he didn't care two cents
whether this great and glorious country
was ruled by one-horse Republican or
a two.horSe Democrat.
HIS VIRTUES.
He had pew in church, gave SIX
teen ounces for pound, and when a
man looked him equare in the eye Mr..
Cain never took a back seat. lie was
home at reasonable hour in the even
inc. never took part in the discussion,
as lager healthy ?" and many a man
wished that his life rolled on as evenly
and peacefully as John Gains.
But, ALAS
the tempter came. In an evil hour
John Cain allowed the politicians to get
after him and to surround him. They
said he was the strongest man in the
county; that he could scoop out of his
boots any man set up in opposition; that
his virtues were many, and that his
faults were OOOO; that it was his duty
TO come out and take nomination in
order that the pure and incorruptible
form of government be maintained pure
and incorruptible. All this and much
more they told him, and John Cam
BECAME PUFFED Up.
It surprised him some to think that
he had held his peaceful way alone for
forty odd years, like knot hole in a
barn door, without any one having dis
covered what heap of fellow he was,
but he concluded that there was new
era in politics and that it was all right.
THEY BAMBooZLE HIM.
The politicians covered John Cain
with soft soap. They told him that
the canvass shouldn't cost him a red,
and that he could still retire ats clock
every evening and rest assured that his
interests would be properly cared for.
1t was to be still hunt-a very quiet
election, and he would hardly know
what was going on. John was an hon
est, unsuspecting idiot, ana he swallow
ed their words as the conhdlng fish ab
serbs the baited hook.
TIE rLoT THICKENs.
John Cain was duly nominated and
the band came out and serenaded him.
With the band came several hundred
electors. who filled the Cain mansion to
overfowing, spit tobacco all over the
house. ate and drank all they could find
broke down the gate, and went off with
three cheer for John Cain.
WANTED SUGAR.
Before the canvass was ten days old
half dozen men called to see Cain,
and gently limited to him that he must
come down with the "sugar." He
didn't even know what "sugar" was un
til they explained. They wanted none
to raise pole, to buy beer, to get slips
printed, and to do fifty other things
with, all for his particular benefit, and
he had to hand out money.
TIE COMBAT DEEPENS.
In the course of another week they
drew Cain out to make speech at .
ward meeting. lie tried to claw on
but they told him that the opposition
candidate would run him ont OF sight II
he didn't come out, and he went out
When be got through speaking th'
crowd drank at his expense, and Mr.
Cain was astonished at the way the II.
ouor went down, and more astonlshet
at the way the bill went up. lie didn
reach home until midnight, and for th'
first time in his life he was going to bee
with his boots on. His wife wouldn'
sneak to him, the hired girl left th'
house to save her character, anu JONI
Cain wished that the politicians had le
him alone. r.
| .. INCREASE OF CURRENCY.
More men came and crooked theil
fingers at him and whispered sugar.
| They wanted money to buy some doubl
full votes, and to hire four-horse teams
and to mail his slips, and he had t.
come down. He hesitated about 1t
but they told him that the opposing
candidate felt sure of victory, and tha
acted as spur. 81 l5 e .ar
WARM HEARTED FRIENDS
There was hardly night that from
IA to 24O friends did not call on Mr.
Cain to inform him as to the prospects.
They drank up the currant wine Mrs
Cain lad laid by for sickness, emptiee
her preserve jars, and there wasn't
morning that she couldn't sweep ou