The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-09-04
YOURS TRULY" AGAIN REPORT
ETH FOR THE PAPERS.

How lazly good reporter takes up
the pen, after q long interval OF neglect,
to engage once more in the arduous
duty Of teaching the public press the
proper way TO write up public perform
ances!
Come with us, dear public, and behold
Yours Truly seated in the crowded
theater TO hear DIR. HaskelI's lecture
upon "Circus Life" Since the never
tO-be-forgotten day when honest and
debating Tom yielded to the coercive
force of a principle Of negation, and
concluded, therefore, that ii was good
henceforth-till he could do better-for
him to be alone, Yours Truly had had
no beau. True, she hadn't missed 'em
much, for she'd been of in the country
''teaching the young idea how Toto
be-shot," or something like that-she
won't profess definite accuracy as TO the
quotatiOn-and on Monday last she found
herself again in the charmed city Of
mists, with sixty dollars in her pocket,
the product of three months labor, like
unto that which her brother Phil is TO
perform during the next quarter for the
modest sum of three times that amount
in the same district
Yours Truly was in despair about
company. She was very anxious To at
tend the lecture, and-but she confessed
a moment ago that she "didn't have no
beau" But, just as she was on the eve
Of abandoning the evenings enjoyment,
n red-faced masculine, with = cud in his
mouth, and a pudgy fist that perpetually
twirled diminutive rattan, called upon
her and gave an invitation without
which this critique would have gone
into hopeless oblivion, without so much
a. an opportunity for even an embryo
existence.
Some thirty or forty small boys occu-
pied semi-circle on the Oro FinO stage.
These boys were a study for a philoso-
pher Where did the little fellows all
come from, aud how did DIR. Haskell
gather them up? But there they were,
and !u their midst n modest-faced girl
whom the doctor says he rescued from .
house of infamy four years ago, and Is
now striving 10 educate to be self-sus.
tanning.
Yours Truly got her llounces rufiled-
did you ever see . rufiied liounce, Mrs
ID. by a great, awkward BOBBY, who
certainly never lived among girls of the
period, or he'll know better how to keel
from ge!lin. cntangled in their rigging
and amid the confusion attendant upor
getting straight again, the Doctors frs
appearance Was lost to her, and, conse
quently, 10 your readers forever. III
sad to note, sometimes, how, OH ruf
fled or unrunied iiounce Hangs ever
lasting things" But the intruder spa
and sputtered and apologized, anC
Yours Truly gathered her wits to
gethcr In time TO hear the lecturer de
scribe his Introductory remarks as (
"peroration." Then he said man!
splendid things and many that were no
half so splendid. The lecture "scat
tered" but the audience didn't, and 70
two hours we had Haskell and temper
ancc, Haskell and drunkenness, Haskell
and fallen women, Haskell and circuses
Haskell and suicides, Haskell AM
whisky, Haskell and elephants, Haskell
and the crusaders, and then-a littl
more Haskell, 10 lu George Franci
Train. We also had applause ant
laughter and tears and cheers and elec
tricity and ventriloquism-certainly va
riety enough for one intellectual lunch
VIII any Christian woman take tina
girl, of whom he told Us, from the cit.
prison and give her home and protec
tion? shame upon them if they don't
and shame upon the papers if they d
not join with Dr. Haskell in an appea
to them to do their duty. But Your
Truly didn't mean TO moralizei she Onl.
meant 20 se0ld.
The lecture is over now; the Band o
Hope i organized, and Yours Truly
having for once in her life possession o
a little cash, wants TO ask her escort
to 20 TO Fabre's for lunch. But sh
remembers to her sorrow that beini
"only woman," she has no fright L
invite him, and he, poor fellow, evi
IDENTIFY has no money, so he can't invit
her, and she goes home hungry an
tired, longing for the day to come whel
all girls Of the period may be wis
enough TO demand that personal libert.
now desired 10y YOURS TRULY.