Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-10-02
humorous skrtfbrs.

HOME QUESTION.-An old western
farmer, about the time that the temper
ance reform was beginning to exert health
full influence in the country, said 20 his
man servant, Jonathan, / did not think
10 say that think of trying to do my work
this year without rum. How much more
must give you to do without it ? oh,
| don't care much about it, replied JON
athan; you may give me what you please
Well, said the farmer, Il will give you a
sheep every autumn if you will do without
Agreed, responded Jonathan. The eldest
son said, Father, will you give me sheep
too, if will do without rum p Yes, Mar
shall, you shall have a sheep if you will do
without The young son, a STRIPPING, then
said. Father, will you give me a sheep if
will do without p Yes Chandler. you
shall have a sheep also if you do without
Presently Chandler spoke again, Father,
hadn't you better take sheep too p
one WIFE AT A DIE.'-Yes, sir, |
lately attended scance at the house Of
lIlkdDt FNtftidl dllu Bcullt-
men were there, and the ghosts were
brought in with the filberts. Is there any
one present named George = asked my
friend, AS spirit has communication TO
make TO him. A newly-married man,
who before experienced the blessings of
matrimony, owned to the name, upon which
the spirit of his deceased wife sent him a
most suffectionate message, saying that she
hUvcred DER him, that she loved him as
dearly rs ever, and that when he lifted the
veil and followed she would be- the first to
greet him in the land Of shadows. The un-
fortunate gentleman had all the sensations
ofa bigamist, and preserved a guilty silence,
declining even to ask his former wife how
she liked boneless existence. After IN aw-
ful pause my friend said there was spirit
wanting to make a communication to a
gentleman named Robert was he present?
No one answered, and after waiting for
some time another was summoned from
the vasty deep. When they were breaking
up, the host said TO one of his guests.
why didn't you own your name was
Robert p Because prolited by Georges
mistake, was the answer. 'One wife at a
time, if you please. The spirit might be
willing, but the flesh weak. The past wife
couldn't speak to me without my permis-
sion, but the present could 7
THE late DIR. Macadain used to tell of a
tipsy Scotchman.making his way home upon
n bright Sunday morning, when the good
people were vending their way to the kirk.
\ little dog pulled the ribbon from the hand
Of a lady who was leading it, and as it ran
away from her she appealed to the first
passer-by, asking him to whistle for her
poodle Woman he retorted, with a
solemnity of visage which only drunken
man can assume, woman, this is no day
for whistlin'l' =
YOUR HONOR said a prisoner to a
Judge, my lawyer is not here, and re-
quest a delay Of the case for eight day.
But, said the Judge, any lawyer say for
you 2 That is just what l should like to
hear said the prisoner, and the court
laughed, but sentenced him 10 year.
A SWEET little boy, only eight years old
bless his little heart-walked into the
the scene of a teachers examination at
Oswego, last week, and bawled out An
ME, your feler is down to the house =
Is there any person you would wish me
TO marry p said wife to her dying spouse,
who had been somewhat Of tyrant in his
day. Marry the devil, If you like was
the gruff reply. No, L thank you, my
dear, one husband from the same family is
enough for me.