The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1874-11-21
MISCELLANY.

1uS SAIuCA ny liS IL OllIlIS NIO NOAO
ner's jury rendered a verdict: she
was killed by the Lord. but the
Lord is all right"
as that your offspring, ma
damn" asked q Missouri Judge of
woman who had hold of a stub
nosed boys hand. mo sir" she
replied, "this is my Oldest boy"
The matrimonial market has
picked up so fast since September
that one New Hampshire clergy
man has laid in three barrels Of
beans, a barrels Of cider and three
dried calf.skins.
A lecturer on education for 9TH
ers, s0lemnIy said TO an audience:
"Parents, you have children; or,
If you have not, your daughters
may have"
a Missouri paper says: "Yester-
day we counted eleven able-bOdi-
ed farmers, whose grass and OATS
needed cutting, sitting on dry
goods boxes complaining about
hard times"
Marry for love, young men, but
remember that it's as easy to love
a girl whose pa has a hundred
thousand in bark as one whose
old man sits up behind a pair of
mules and yells: "Whoa! You
Pete, or I'll take your ear off"
The Colorado Register says that
the grasshopers have eaten the
horns off all the cows in Boulder
county. They are ali muleys now,
but the chickens have eaten the
grasshoppers and they are expect
ed to have horns themselves next
year. Up here they are regard
ed as valuable crop.
"Do you." said Fanny. t'othev day,
''ln earnest love me as you say;
Or are those tender words applied
Alike to fifty girls besidel"
Dear, cruel girls. - cried l. ''fOrbear,
For by those eyes, those lips, swear"
She stopped me as the oath | took,
And cried, You've swoEn-now kiss the
book :"
4 justice of the peace in Cincin-
natl had become so imbued with
the routine of his Office that, in
concluding a marriage ceremony
the other evening. he substituted
for the regular formula, "Y0u will
now stand committed until fine
and costs are paid"
A married man hearing that the
eating of certain kinds of animal
food would aid the same tissue of
human bOdy-as, for instance,
calves brains would LOurish the
eaters brains, or beefs liver the
eaters liver Immediately gave
strict orders at his family market
that no more tongue Of any kind
he sold TO his wife or mother-i in
law.
AnsIrishman. of Arm0y,Sin Ire
land, visited q Protestant clergy
man, accompanied by his betroth-
ed, and modestIy requested TO be
united to the girl of his heart.
The minister asked him why he
did not GO to the Catholic priest,
IA jovial priest, by the way,) The
reply was: 81 did, your riveranee,
an he tould me to go the divil-
SO | come to YOU"
The other day a Detroiter was
riding on the Pontiac road and
came across an old lady seated in
a buggy which had been halted
within a few yards Of the Grand
Trunk Railroad track. She seem.
ed to be uneasy about something,
and, as he drove up, she asked,
"Say, mister, hain't that engine
going to come along pretty sOonw
He asked her to explain, and she
pointed to the sign. "Look out
for the engine," and added" 81
have waited nnOre'R two hours for
the ole engine to go by, but Pm
getting tired, and if it don't come
pretty soon III drive right over
the track and go hum"
A well dressed man attracted
considerable attention the other
day, by sitting upon the edge Of
the sidewalk for some time, with
his head between his hands, as II
in deep meditation. At last a
sympathetic stranger approached
him, and said: "Friend, you seem
to be in trouble; can l assist you
in any way?' The man sprang to
his feet, and taking of his hat,
parted his hair carefully, ana said:
"Stranger, do You see that cut7
My wife did it this morning with
a fat iron, and then sent me down
town. buy her new bonnet.
ma | have been sitting mere for
IAN hour, trying to decide wheth-
er [ viii buy one or not; and
blame me, stranger, Il I haven't
about decided 20 get it-"-DecG-
tar Republican.
Who is petted TO death by ladies
with marriageable daughters?
The bachelor. Who is invited to