Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-12-02
Wit and Wisdom.

The contented man is never poor.
the discontented never rich.
SOME men, like pictures, are better
for corner than full-light.
WE are always looking into the fn-
ture, but We see only the past
AS every thread Of gold is valuable,
SO is every minute Of time.
MANY come to bring their clothes to
church rather than themselves.
The strong and unanimous impulse
of great people is seldom wrong.
A COMMON suer-A lawyer P. S. He
is likely to be a drain to his client.
CASTLE BUILDING-th glorious COM
pensation for the trials of young and old.
WHEN young lady gives herself
away, does she lose her possession.
The farmers are now affected by cid
erial influences, and business will soon
be pressing.
The Merrill family have just had a
reunion down East. Everything pass
ed off Merrilly.
WHEN John Morrissey colors his
moustache in Saratoga, they call it the
dyeing gladiator.
81 s'Those who in quarrels interpose
Must often wipe bloody nose.
THOSE who have tried it say thatkiss-
ing is like sewing machine because it
seems good. .- ..--
"FRED, how is your sweetheart 2"
"Pretty well, I guess; she says [ need
not call any more.'
SINCE the international postoffice is to
be built at Berne, let US hope they will
make it fireproof.
JONES is not so much for statistics,
but he likes tables, especially dinner
tables and vegetables.
BARNUM's excuse for marrying again
is that he had no one to get up mornings
and light his fire.
WHEN a Maryland doctor spells it
'accufottus," is it any wonder that
patient dies on his hands
Most of the shadows that or oss our
path through life are caused by our
standing i'll our own light.
WE gain nothing by falsehood but
the disadvantage OF Lot being believed
when We speak the truth.
IT makes big difference when lady
faints away, whether you battle her
temples with camphor or molas5es.
SOME one who has been figuring on
the subject says that the reaping ma
chimes OF the country net d leg a-day.
IT is one sign of the tendency of hui
man nature to goodness, that it grows
good under a thousand bad influences.
MANY child goes astray not because
there is want of prayer or virtue at
home, but simply because home lacks
sunshine.
LOOK out for your diamonds. The
jewelry robbers are about Spilkins
has deposited his with his uncle for safe
keeping.
A YOUNG Vermonter offered his hand
to nice little dairymaid, saying: eff
you don't choose it, cheese it. She
chose it.
Iris well enough for a fisherman to
to take lunch before going fishing,
for he may not get bite away from
home.
THE detectives of the county count
that day lost whose low, descending SUM
brings not record of another Ross boy
won.
No man can read about all these
burglaries without a determination to
have his wife sleep on the front side of
the bed
AN epitaph III church at Ramsgate,
England, concludes with =" He bore tn
acute pains of ye govt forty years with
thankfulness.
A MAN who rises at night to look for
baby's nursing DO tile and can't hit his
uose on the edge of the open door is a
small pattern of a man.
SEVERAL pretty Buffalo girls, who
want to get married and wear handsome
diamonds, are on the qui vive for good
looking Niagara hackmen.
The only thing that bothers grass
hopper to swallow is a four-legged
table. A well-developed hopper can
worry it down, but the legs tickle his
throat.
AN exchange says that st the inunda-
ton at Hong Kong, the s. sea slew thou
sand persons Who'll say, efter this,
that man can't get slowed on salt
water?
WASHINGTON, exclaimed member
of a Nashville debating club in stento-
rian tones, " Washington was great
man; he was good man; he was noble
man; his MIND had powerful grasp of
the future; if ever man was non COM
pos naentis, Washington was that
man !"
A CONTEMPORARY writes of an individual
who was too poor to have his boots
blackened, and trusted he was too
much of a gentleman to do them him.
self; SO they went dry"
A CHAP who spent 81, 500 to graduate
from Harvard is postmaster in Iowa at
$24 per year. He would 'swap" his
knowledge of Greek roots for hill of
beans if he could.
EXTRACT of letter from an absent
wife: eff John should feel like sui
while T am oono o1va hin, q