Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-07-13
RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
Philosophical Ref ections of One
Who Tried It,

tnao oush' 10 nave that oihce, they say,
and while they do not generally meddle
in politics. they will 90 to the ward or
district meeting this time andget elected
a delegate to the nominating convention
Just to give you lift OF course you
| lift your hat and inquire what bar in the
immediate vicinity keeps the best liquors.
Your friends are not particular, SO you
move on to the nearest one, and your
friends are so anxious to make votes for
you that they take the liberty Of calling
up all their acquaintance in sight to
join in the support of the newly-hedged
candidate. On entering the saloon, and
venturing to glance into the massive
mirrors, you are surprised to see that
three friends have increased to a dozen
and half, including several men that
you feared would vote against you, Ten
of them call for whisky straight, six Of
them take sugar in theirs, two call for
brandy, and the candidate, Of course,
wishes to keep cool head, so he takes
soda.
Up 60 the nineteen glasses; My re-
spects, gentlemen" says the candidate;
Success to you, old fellow-here's to
yer health, shout the eighteen, and down
your health goes in eighteen throats, and
down goes a FIVE dollar bill, for which
you receive in change about fifteen cents.
The crowd is too polite to hang around,
so the most Of them slide out while you
are waiting for your change. And if
you remain few minutes you will see
half OF them coming back with the other
candidate, who looks as triumphant as
you did few minutes ago. He is de-
lighted with his progress, and you say to
yourself that them fellows are welcome
to all they can get out of him, and that
he is welcome to all he makess off them.
You are certain of their votes anyhow.
The FIVE dollar business is very popular,
and can be repeated thirty or forty times
per day with great effect, especially if
you have more money than your oppo-
nent and feel willing to spend it in that
way.
A weeks close electioneering in all
the various wards, especially ifyou have
kissed all the babies and worn out few
pairs of gloves in shaking hands, will
convince you, if you keep list of your
avowed friends, that your opponents are
not much in your way, and that the
prospects will justify you in spending
more money, even if you have to pawn
your last bulls.eye watch to raise the
stake. At the end of two weeks you find
by reading the list Of your friends that
nine.tenths Of the population are in
state of sleepless anxiety for the day to
roll around when they can vote for you.
These are happy moments. You begin
to feel settled, and to make some plans
for life, and to debate whether to put on
style and 60 into fashionable society,
where you naturally belong, or live plain,
save your money and take trip to Eu-
rope at the end of your term in office.
Feeling that you are about to become a
man of consequence and power in the
county, you come out Of your shell and
assume an affable, glad.to.seeyou kind
of air with all classes, and even bow
patronizingly to people with whom you
have no acquaintance; but of course,
the reflection that they must soon know
you justifes the familiarity in advance.
As the Convention approaches, your
chances, your friends and your expenses
multiply with fearful rapidity, and you
never before met so many men who
wanted to borrow two dollars. But Of
course man who expects to be we'll
fed public servant can afford to be lib
eral with his less fortunate fellow beings,
and he shells out with reckless indifer
ence to the nominal value of money.
The Convention comes With high
hopes you look upon the able and dlgni-
fed body that is to put you before the
people as their unanimous choice. Some
of the delegates, once so warm and
open hearted, may appear little shy,
but they are ali right, aud will come to
the rescue at the proper time. Some Of
them may have promised to vote for
another candidate on the first ballot just
as a compliment, nothing more; then
they will come to you and fight for you
until the Gulf of Mexico freezes over
but what you shall be nominated. But
alas, for human hopes. twas ever thus.
Too many complimentary votes had
been promised your opponent for your
good, and you don't get enough of COM
plimentary votes or any other kind.
Your opponent walks over the track on
complimentary votes, and you never
reach the distance stand. This is not a
happy period in ones existence; but you
have time left and few friends to explain