The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-04-18
VARIETY.

e No postal cards " appeared after the an
nouncement of a Monroe wedding.
It is mistake to expect to receive welcome
hospitality words Of cheer, and help over rugged
and difficult passes in life, in return for cold sell
fshness, which cares for nothing iR~the world
but self
West street man cannot understand why his
nephew needs cigar case. He carries his cigars
loose in his breast pocket, and never has them
broken. The West street man seems to forget
that he is married.
4 young lady in Lancaster had the initials Y.
NJ &. 4. engraved on one corner Of her visiting
cards, which she handed to certain gentlemen
visitors. At first they suppose she belongs to the
Young Mems Christian Association, but it is not
long before they rightly construe the letters to
mean " You May Come Again
They are afflicted with leading statesman in
the Minnesota Legislature, by name Ignatius
Donnelly. There are indications that the State
press does appreciate his oratOrical gifts, for
the Minneapolis Tribune embalms him in rhyme
IN this disrespectful way
Whose exceedingly spacious
"NoE let u adI1urnr saii Ignaiiu,-
We learn from newspaper slips and private
letters of a rather ridiculOus occurrence in Nor
walk, Ohio. The hero is a prominent and much
The other Sunday he started for church with an
old hat on his head. Ii was easy hat and the
old gentleman enjoyed It. 1t appears there ars
PEGS 20 hang hats in the churches there. lie
thus disposed OF his head-gear on reaching the
church and took his seat with the congregation.
When the service was over he fingered as is Gus
tOmary and proper for deacOns to do. lie finally
reached the porch. and stopped for his hat, and
any respectable citizen can imagine the horror he
eynarisnced on behOlding but one hat left, and
,Fat uH lnoI- -fpr
article He could feel his blood boil within him
a. he looked at il and thought Of the mutton
head who owned It. and had walked OF with his
glossy beaver instead. He said out aloud that
the oWLer OC that hat was muttOn-head, and
ground his deacOnish heel into the hOOr, and felt
much relieved by so doing. Then he tied a
handkerchief about his head because the old hat
was much too large for him, and he could not
wear it, even if flesh and spirit had not revOlted
against the spectacle. He told the sexton that
that hat must have been built in q dry dock, and
the only thing that troubled him in the matter
was how a man with head Of that size got into
the church anyway. Then he stalked majestic
ally homeward, with the red handkerchief wound
about his head, and the detcstable hat held at
arms length ahead of him, and altogether form
iug 4 spectacle that fastened the attention of
every behOlder. Arriving home, he extended the
obnoxious article toward his wife, and waiting
an instant for her 10 take in the awful enormIty
Of the offence, he explosively shouted, . Look at
that viIlainous rag - The lady looked at It,,
and was astonished. -. don't wonder you are
sick he howled mOr0sely - It makes me sick
10 think Of the bull-head who owns such q
smOke-stack palming 1t of ON me, and taking my
new beaver for himself an mistake the ground
this out with withering sarcasm). y pretty mis-
take | must say when his miserable rag is big
enough 70 cover cart, and filthy enough to make
"A crow sick 50 But that's your every day hat,
asserted his wife, in still greater astonishment.
mn hat - gasped the amazed deacon, starting
at her with his eyes half way out OF their sock
cts, and then klughing hysterieally, and shiver-
ing from head 10 foot - Certainly 1t Is, per
, sisted his wife, - and here is your best hat,
taking that article from its accustomed place,
and holding it out to him. Without a word the
miserable man sank into a chair, and after star
ing blankIy at has wife for moment, slowly
said s. The ways Of Providence are past ind
ing ont rub nv head. Mntildy - Ddn5vTy
SsLrs