Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-09-24
Annutuns department.
AN INVITED NOSE.

AN INVITED NOSE.
At one of the demi-French reunions, not
long since, little scene occurred which anus
ed the few who witnessed it. About ten o'clock
monsieur entered, very correct in his "get-
ting up" unexceptionable in his demeanor,
but gentleman gifted with very consider
able nasal organ. The old proverb says, "a
large nose never spoiled handsome face" "
and the stranger justified the proverb.
Advancing to the mistress of the house, he
made the formal reverence which ceremony
requires on frs visit, then, taking a more
familiar tone, he said, "It has been very hap
py to accept your invitation, madam an
honor of which it is quite unworthy"
This was said in low voice, but so dis
tincty that it could be understood by those
who stood near.
The lady, who, though very distDgue
person, is somewhat timid, because still young,
was somewhat embarrassed at this address,
and, thinking she had misunderstood him, re-
Piled
Excuse me, sir; were you saying"
81 said, madam, that it was very grateful
for the invitation to your soiree."
The bystanders exchanged looks and began
to whisper; the lady became more and more
out of countenance.
81 do not understand you," she said, at
length; "of what are you speaking?"
The gentleman did not speak again, but
pointed, in reply, to the prominent feature in
his face.
"What do you know? Oh how impru-
dent exclaimed the lady; and blushing from
her chin to her eyes, she concealed in her
handkerchief face half laughing and half
embarrassed.
The explanation of this little mystery soon
came out. The hostess had met this gentle
man the evening before at the house of her
sister, where he made himself very agreeable,
as was his custom. On her return, recollect-
ing her own soiree of the next day, she wrote
hastily the following concise note to her
sister:
81 have taken liking to the big nose.
Give him an invitation for me-"
Her madcap relative amused herself by
sending the invitation as it was, and the gen.
tleman responded to the joke in manner
which brought the laughter on his side.
A PUZZLED DARKEY.-Not a hundred
miles from Crestline, colored American citi-
zen keeps stand for the sale of newspapers,
cigars, apples, and other knick knacks.
Thither one day went burly engineer, given
somewhat to practical joking, and asked for a
nickeps worth of peanuts. The elongated
edibles were Immediately measured and
handed over.
"Derc dey are, sah."
"Let me see," said the engineer, thought
fully, 81 don't believe want these, after all.
Take 'em back and give me couple of apples
in. place of them"
"All right, sah," and the exchange was
made in twinkling.
The engineer still hesitated, fumbling the
apples in an undecided manner. Finally
"Durn my buttons, don't believe want
these either. I'll trade em to you for a
cigar"
The dicker was made without objection, and
the engineer, after leisurely lighting his che
root, turned away.
"H0l' on, dar; you don't go and forget to
pay for that cigar"
Certainly 1 paid for it. l gave you the
apples for it."
But you didn't pay for the apples"
"Ies, I gave you the peanuts for them. "
"You didn't pay for the nuts"
"Well, I didn't keep 'em, did ?"
"Dat so, TO God, dat SOL and while the
puzzled darkey was scratching his wool the
engineer made his escape. Before turning the
corner he glanced back and beheld the dar-
key with bent head in ruminating attitude,
evidently satisfied that as a commercial trans
action it was all straight, but wondering where
he had made anything out of the dicker.
An INJURED DARKEY.-"Heress your nice
roast chick'n," cried an aged colored man, as
the cars stopped at North Carolina station.
"Here's your nice roast chick'n matters, all
nice and hot" holding up his plate and walk
ing the platform.
"Where did you get that chicken, uncle ?"
asked a passenger.
Uncle looked at the intruder sharply, and
then turned away, cryng-"Heres yer nice
roast chick'n, gentl'm'n, all hot needn't 60
into the house for dat"
"Where did you get that chicken ?" repeat
cd the inquisitive passenger.
"Look-a-yer," says uncle, speaking private
ly; 'is you from de Norf?"
Eyes"
"Is you friend OBJ de cullud man ?"
Il hope am"
"Den don't you never ask me where l got
dat chick'n again. Here's yer nice roast
chick'n, all hot"
The train started.
BANKRUPT MATrER.-Sambo, what your
'pinion OBJ de bankrupt law?'
"Tink 'um fus-rate, Pompey."
II imply for the appellation myself: just
splain yim's principals"
"Why, you see here, now, just len me dat
half dollar you got for whitewashing."
Pompey hands him the money, and Sambo
deliberately puts it into his pocket.
"Dere den, now, owes de shoemaker three
shilling, and you half dollar, besides de
grog-shop bill. Now dis half dollar am all
de property | got. l divide with him ac-
cording to de debt"
"Sambo, takes dat half dollar back"
Sambo, with amazement. "You tink dis
chile green? You gifts 70 share wild de oder
creditors"
Sambo was quite as honest as some others.
aay~ A spread-eagle orator wanted the wings
of a bird to hy to every village and hamlet