Wilmington journal., 1874-07-03
ApREcDClnUS a YOUTH.
The Trouble Oh Christopher Co
IuInsl;s FEci'hcrson.

! This boy was good boy. He would
have been an angel to-day but for the
| deceit of this false-hearted world. He
wasn't one of set of triplets, and
! therefore didn't have honOrs shoWered
down upon him in his early days, but
old women said there was foundation
there for an orator, great general,
or philosopher, and old men exam
ined his head and said it was level.
Nothing particular happened to Chris
topher Columbus until the eighth
year of his reign. His childhood days
were full of mud pies, the butt end OF
shingles, paregoric, castor oil and old
straw hats with the front brim worn
off. He was deep thinker and a
close observer for a small boy, and he
was just innocent enough to believe
things which other boys pitched ont
of the window without second
thought.
When Christopher was going on
nine years old he heard some one say
that "a penny saved was two pence
earned" He therefore laid big
Bungtown away in a crack under the
mop board, and every day he looked
to see it grow to two cents. He had
confidence and patience, but at length
both gave way. Then he got the cent
out one day and Mrs. Norton's baby
swallowed it, and that was the last Of
that Bungtown. The youthful Chris
topher didn't believe in maxims quite
as much as before, but he hadn't cut
all his eye-teeth yet.
When this boy was year older he
heard some one say that ''the truth
was mighty and must prevail y and
that the boy who always spoke the
truth would surely make a good and
great man. He commenced to tell the
truth. One day he got his fathers
razor out and hacked it on a stone,
and when the old gent came home and
asked who IN blazes had done that?
Christopher Columbus spoke up and
said:
''It was [ father; notched your old
razor.
You did eh?" sneered the Cd man
as he looked up into a peach tree;
"well, I'll fix you so you will never
notch another razor for mer'
When the lad was about twelve
years old he read in little book that
"honesty was the best policy" He
didn't more than half believe it, but
he thought he'd try. He went to be-
ing honest. One day his mother sent
him to the grocery to buy eggs, and
Bill Jones induced him to squander
the change in the purchase of soda
water. When he got home his mother
asked him for the little balance, and
Christopher explained.
''Spent it for soda, eh % she replied.
''Here your poor old mother is work
ing like a slave. and you are around
swilling down soda water! [ don't
think you'll swill any more, ] don't!
Come over my right knee
And she agitated him in the lveiiest
manner. That night as he turned on
his dow1y straw bed the boy made up
his mind that honesty didn't pay, and
he resolved to cheat the whole world
if he could.
When Christopher was half year
older he came across the injunction:
''Be kind to the poor" He did not
know whether it would pay or not, but
he set about it. He knew of a poor
woman vino sadly needed a spring
bonnet, l.nd he took over his mothers,
along with few other things, in
Guiding his fathers second pair OF
boots, his own Sunday shoes, and so
ON. He went around feeling very big
hearted until the old gent wanted to
go to the lodge ole night, and then it |
came ont.
s'Gin away my boots, eh ?" inquired |
the father; 'Iugged your mothers |
best bonnet off, ell? Well, I don't |
think you'll remember the poor very |
much after tonight /
And he pounded Christopher Col |
umbus with pump handle until the
boy tainted away, and even then didn't
feel as if he had made thorough job
Of it.
They fooled this boy once more.
He heard rich man say that every
body should "make hay while the sun
,hone." So when there came q sunny
lay he went out, took his fathers
Icythe down from the plu,a tree and
vent to making hay. He broke the
,cythe, cut down the tulips, and
hacked his sister in the heel, and his
mother came out and led him around
~ the hair. and bounced him until he
llmost went into a decline. They
couldn't bamboozle this boy after that.
1e grew wicked every day of his life,
nd before his eighteenth birthday
rrived he was hung for murder. He
aid he didn't care huckleberry about
t, and died without making the usual
Fourth of July Grafton.
M OrAD