Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-01-22
Aumurons department.
AN OFFICE SEEKER.

AN OFFICE SEEKER.
President Madison was fond of telling the
story Of a visit made to him by one of his
supporters. After due Introductory discus
sion of the weather and the state of parties,
the voter explained to the President that he
had called upon him to ask for the Office of
Chief Justice of the United States.
Mr.. Madison was little surprised, but
with that ready tact which he had brought
from his diplomatic experience, he concealed
his astonishment. He took down the volume
which contained the Constitution of the
United States, and explained to the man, Mr..
Swearingin-if that were his name-that
the Judges held Office on the tenure of good
behavior, and that Judge Marshall, then
the ornament of the bench, could not be re-
moved to make place for him.
Mr.. Swearingin received the announcement
quietly and after a moment, said he thought
he should like to be Secretary Of State.
The President said that was undoubtedly a
place where man could do good service to
the country; but that Monroe, like Mr..
Swearingin and himself was Virginian, and
he did not like to remove him.
"Then," said Mr.. Swearingin, II will be
Secretary of the Treasury"
Unfortunately the President said, the pre-
sent incumbent was Pennsylvania 1t was
necessary to conciliate Pennsylvania; and he
could not remove him.
"Then," said Mr.. Swearingn, 81 think |
will 20 abroad. T should like to 60 to
France"
"Do you speak French" asked the Presi-
dent, kindly.
"No, no; speak nothing but Old Domin-
ion English good enough for me, Mr.. Presi-
dent.
Eyes, yes and for me- But I don't think
it will do to send you to the Monsieurs unless
you can speak their language"
"Then I'll 20 to England"
"Ah, Mr.. Swearingin! that will never do {;
King George might remember how often your
father snapped his rife at Lord Cornwallis." I"
So Europe was exhausted. And Mr..
Swearingin fell back on one and another COL
lectorship, naval Office, district-attorneyship /;
but, for each application, the astute President
had his reply.
II think then, Mr.. President, will be post
master at our Office at home"
Mr.. Madison had forgotten where that was !;
but, learning that it was at Slate Creek, Four
Corners, Botetourt County, Virginia, he
sent for the register. Alas! it proved that
the office was in the hands of one fMor-
gan's veterans. Impossible to remove him !!
"Truly, Mr. Madison" said Mr.. Swearing
in, 81 am obliged to you for your attention
to my case see the difficulties that sur
round you. Now, seeing you cannot give me
the chiefjustice's place, nor Mr.. Monroe's,
nor the Treasury, nor any of these others,
don't you think you could give me pair of
old leather breeches?"
Mr.. Madison thought he could-and did
better; gave him an order on his tailor for
the breeches; and Mr. Swearingin went on his
way.-From Old and New for January.
ess~ A gentleman once charged his servant,
who was setting off for church, to remember
the text and repeat it to him on his return
home. But when questioned, Sambo's idea of
the "text' seemed very vague.
"Well, if you can't tell the text, you
can surely tell what the sermon was about"
said the master.
"Oh, yes, massa, I can tell heaps of what
it was about" replied Sambo. "It was about
when de twelve 'postles was hungry, dere was
Il mighty miracle worked to feed EN-"
"And what was the miraclc?'
"Why, sab, dah was FIVE thousand loaves
of bread and five thousand small fishes fetch
ed long by boy to feed 'em wild !"
"But Sambo," asked the master "if there
was so much food where was the miracle?"-
"Why bress your heart, massa, de miracle
was dat de 'postles ate all dat stuff and didn't
bustw
pas- Josh Billings thus speaks of new ag-
ricultural implement, to which the attention
of farmers is invited: "John Rodgers revolv
ing. expanding, unceremonions, selt:adjusting,
selfcontroling, selfgreasing and self-right-
eous hoss rake is now forever offered to the
publk. These rakes are as easy to keep in
repair as hitchn' post, and will rake up
paper of pins sowed broad cast in ten acre
field of wheat stubble. These rakes kan be
used in winter for hen roost, or sawed up
into stove wood for the kitchen fire. No far
mer of good moral character should be without
this rake, even fhe had tew steal one"
Ba5- A man who had recently been elected
major of militia, and who was not overbur.
elened with brains, took it into his head on the
morning of parade, to exercise little by him
self The field selected for this purpose was
his own apartment. Placing himself in
L Io