Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1872-1875, 1874-07-23
NUMBER "a.
FACTS AND FANc1Es.

crawl into mortar and be shot out of it.
-" I wonder il it's eea-sickness that
makes sailors always o heaving up an
choFs ]" exclaimed Aunt Hepzibah, as
she looked thoughtfully up from her
morning paper. tiaftf s
4 -h dead body found IN the 1AII:ssssis
sippi is feelingly alluded to in the local
columns of the st. Louis press as "an-
other foater found"
"A little boy of our acquaintance
few days ago, after attentively watch
ing couple of industriously inclined
bugs, remarked that even the bugs had
got to playing marbles. fl
read the story of Joseph ?" 7" Oh, yes,
they do when they sold their brother" ?"
"They sold him too cheap, think"
"A peddIer calling on an old lady to
dispose of some goods inquired OF her
if she could tell him of any road on
which no peddler had travelled. eyes"
replied she, "I know of one, and that's
the road to heaven" :{tti,hav
Out of one hundred and eighty-two
boys in the Connecticut reform school,
the superintendent reports TINT one hum
dred and eighty are liars. The proposal
now is to educate the entire. lot of 'em
for the profession of the law.
An elderly clergyman OF Chicago,
when asked the other day why he had
never married, replied that he had spent
his lifetime in looking for woman who
would refrain from working him pair
of slippers, and he had never found her.
Walt Whitman's ode to the ST.
Louis bridge: u;
Le! bridge at st. Louis
Stretched from the bungs of multiplicated
Already overpassed by feet that could not be
excelled in Chicago (Which he was All
elephanD,
Star-joyed with the multitudmouB expecta-
tions OF the whereas and wherefore.
For it string serpent hued myriads
And lightning girded monstrosities of all
kinds.
Down through the anti-spasmodic whirlB of
catelepsies,
Dumfounding, bamboozling all, oven the Here
In an unmitigated extension of tho culmina.
ton Of Cundurango.
"A La Crosse editor has q new pair
of pants with pistol pocket, and he
wants to know what to do with that
pocket. He is afraid OF q pistol, the
handkerchief is also used as a coat
sleeve.
Joseph Arch proposes to bring over
II 900 English lnborers and let them
know what liberty is, but Joseph had
better make arrangements for their
bread and butter before they'yland.
Three square milss of freedom won't go
as far as a sandwich to q hungry man,
Detroit Free Press. ~.
"A person wants to be careful, OF
course, but where in the crown OF ones
hat can one find room for slip contain
ing directions for the treatment of q
drowning man, a compendium OF rules
for avoiding hydrophobia, q string OF re.
medies for sunstr, Ike, and ones ire
alarm card {? Nobody but paper hanger
could do the job we'll.
An Illinois paper says: MIR. a.
W. Sheltan came into this office the
other day with one side of his face bal
ly swollen and one eye'greatly infiamed,
caused, as he snys, by the poison OF
potato bug. He struck bug with a
piece of lath, and some of the Juice"
struck his face near his eyelid. Two
physicians attending him consider the
bug much more powerful as blistering
agent than Spanish flies.
"A Burlington, Iowa, board of trade
man got into trouble by letting his busi-
ness weigh too heavily on his mind the
other night. His wife heard him mur. r.
mur in his sleep, celia. dear Ella.
fondly and tenderly, and as her name ls
Mehitable, she woke him with the bald
end of the hair brush: and asked hlm'
"Who ?" ct WAS thinking. OF Ella
Vator," the wretched man said calmly,
and chuckled off to sleep again.
"A young man, who had spent ilt.
tie of his own time and great deal OF
his fathers money in fitting for the bar,
was asked, alter his examination, how
he got along. "Oh, we'll enough.p
said he: "I answered one question
right" "Ah, indeed !' said the old
gentleman, with looks of pnternal satis-
faction at his sons peculiar smartness |;
"and what was it?" "They asked me
what oui tunn action ,aa" "That
was hard one, and you answered it
correctly, did you?'' eyes; told
them I did not know"
On cruise the sailors saw comet
and were somewhat surprised and
alarmed at its appearance. Tho hands
met and appointed committee to wait
on the commander and ask his opinion
Of it. They approached him and said !:
"We want to ask your opinion. your
honor" "Wcll, my boys, what is it
about?" "We want to inquire about
that thing up there" CHOW, before /
! answer YOU, first let me know what you
think it 'isl' "Well, your honor, we
have talked it al over, and we think it
is star sprung leas.
SIT is an exploded theory" says
one who speaks with knowledge, that
women dress to please the men. They
dress to please or spite each other. Any
girl of sense and experience knows That