The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-12-25
GIVING HELP TO THE HEATHEN.
sDidn't Hear Some One Ever Say a
Word About Africa"
From the Detroit Free Press.

From the Detroit Free Press
A man about thirty years old, wearing
a tattered plug hat and seedy clothes,
looking as hungry as a man who had
beer wrecked on an iceberg, softly en-
tered Gra,iot avenue saloon yesterday,
and leaning on the bar whispered to the
proprietor:
my dear sir, 1 am canyassing for sub
scriptions for the benefit ofthe heathen."
'Ish dat so?" replied the saloon keep
er, rinsing glass.
"Yes, my friend, that is so, continued
the man, taking out very greasy pass
book. "Yes, am collecting money for
the benefit of the poor heather, who are
living in a state of vice and ignorance.
Some put down ten dollars-some five
some one, all give something. Here is
the book, and you can subscribe such an
amount az you think best"
"Ish it betition to dem common
gouncil?" inquired the saloonist, as he
looked at the book.
"No, sir, you do not understand my
object. 1 am collecting su Inscriptions for
the benefit of the heather, and you can
write your name and give me such an
amount as your conscience directs"
"Vere ish dem heathens?" inquired
the beer seller, looking coldly at the
strangers battered hat.
"In Africa" replied the agent, "in far
off Africa, where all is gloom and lone
illness because the heather has no educa-
tion"
"And vat country is dat Africa in?"
inquired the saloonist.
my dear man, Africa is country
great big country, far over the deep
blue sea. Is it possible that you never
hear of Africa?"
"I haf lived in Toledo and Chicago,
but didn't heer some one ever say
word about Africa"
"Well, that is neither here nor there.
am authorized to collect subscriptions
for the heather, who is running about
in state cf nakedness and sinfulness,
and who must have bread for his mind
and be brought to realize that he should
live for something besides this life"
"Yah, dat is SO" replied the saloonist
in reflective tone.
"You contribute whatever sum you
may think best, and forward it to Bos-
ton by first mail, where it is turned in
to bibles, and the bibles shipped to Af-
rica. Most people esteem it a privi-
lege to be allowed to subscribe to this
fund. Will write your name DOWN."
81 thinks I will" !" replied the man, and
he hunted up his pencil, and after much
labor wrote his name on one of the
pages and handed the book back with
the remark:
81 dunno if you can't read it."
"That is all right; but you have neg
lected to mark down the amount of your
contri button. Let's see-will you say
dollar?"
"Vhat?"
"Will you give the sum of one dollar
for the heathen?"
"Ha! What you spoke about?"
"Will you give me dollar to forward
to the poor, benighted heathen?"
"Money-gif you money!"
"Yes-for the heathen!"
"Gif you Won dollar?'
eyes, dollar for the benighted race
who are dwelling in darkness"
The saloon keeper looked at him for
half minute, and then, reaching down
for club, said:
you'd better go out py dat door! I
sign dat pook to get dat heather some
close by the poor-master, and dat is
blenty! If you SHAY here some little
while more 1 shall hit you nit dis Club
on de headr'
"My dear"
$50 aus NIT dat door!" yelled the sa-
loon keeper, running from behind the
bar, and the canvasser had to go.