The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-06-10
ghatk, ghata and ghantg'
After the principal thing Is IN

ironclads.
Which is the largest jewel in the
world? The Emerald Isle, /
why was Noah never hungry IN
the ark? Because he always had
Ham with him. .-..--..
-aSal, what time do your folks
dine?" "Soon as you goes; that
1nissus' orders" ~ Z
How did the bull look on emery
ing from the china-shou? a little
the worse for the ware
-Guppy says that although "Hs-
ures don't lie" he was horribly de-
cciyed in his wife's figure,
Can you return my love, my
dearest Julia?" "Certainly, sir;
do not want it, am sure"
Why do young ladies Written
their faces? Because they think the
powder will make them go off:
How many days has the year of
its own? Three hundred and twenty
five; because forty are Lent.
Brigham Young conducts his
connubial affairs on the principal of
"large business and small prophets"
Cincinnati has been made so,
clean, lately, that disconsolate
storekeeper has put up q placard:
Dirt wanted"
There's man who keeps list
Of all the banks in the country, so as
to be able to say that he keeps a
bank account. s
A schoolmaster in Ireland adj
vertises that lie will keep Sunday
school twice week-Tuesdays and
Saturdays. .%tr
WHY is the female centipede
supposed to be the most ingenious
of insects? Because she's the least
likely to count-her-feet.
The very climax of supertiuous
bcneyolence has been declared to bt
that of holding an umbrella over
duck in the rain. rH..
1t has been ascertained at las'
why girls love a moustache. be
cause it muffles the kiss so that pr
- and ma can't hear them smack. ,a~
"A Georgia cracker" was Offered
four dollars per day to labor, Whel
he exclaimed, "Sir, dye s'pose II
work when I've just discovered
fresh coon track?" .v#.t
The editor Of q Kentucky pape
was thrown into pond by a prize
fighter, and is said to have swallow
ell some water for the first time slnc
his boyhood.
"A California paper, having OF
tanned new subscriber, records tn
startling fact in half-column art
Gle, headed "still another! Ou
course Endorsed by the people"
Scene in Court: Judge-"Hav
you anything to offer to the coul
before sentence is passed on you?
Prisoner-"No, Judge; l had tie
dollars, but my lawyers took that.
-"Guilty, or not guilt?' said
sharp New York judge, the oth'
day, to an inattentive female prise
ner in the dock. "Just as your hol
or pleases. It's not for the likes
me to dictate to your honor's wo
ship" was the reply. .
BARBER" said farmer to h
tonsor, "now that cornis cheap, yc
ought to shave for half price,
Cant, Mr.. JONES' said the man
razors; Il really ought to chare
more, for when corn's down, farmer
make such long faces ] have twi'
the ground to 60 over
We overheard the following b
tween two bell-boys at the Fifth A
enue Hotel, recently: Pat asks Mix
whats this suspension of tt
banks?" "Hist yer' Mike reptile
'Tll tell We. Suppose you have ti7
cents" "Yis." Leave it wild me
"YisY" "Next day ye want it, ar
We AK for it, "Yis.'' Il tell y
mo, sir, I've used it meself."
"A colored philosopher thus u
burdened himself on one Of woman
weaknesses: "Jim, de men don
make such fools Of demselves abo
women as de women about de me
If women looks at de moon, dey s.
man in it. If dey hear mou
nibbling, it's a man; and dey all 10,
under de bed de fust thing at mig
to End a man. Why, l nebber lot
under my bed to find woman; do
you" ..
An Irishman On. receiving t
first wages in this country, asked h
employer in what way he could Sc