, 1874-07-15

I'll in the Long Island fats. It is sad
to see our patriots begin a noble and COM
mendable reform of this kind and then
give i up before the experiment has been
properly tried. If it is argued that we
have compost enough to subserve the
agricultural interests of the country {; still
it is to be remembered that chemistry
may lose, by our Indifference to this sub
ject, some miraculous combinations which
would save the necessity of importing
spring vegetables from South Carolina.
We love our country sufficiently to say
that if by planting a few politicians in
the Harlem gardens we can hasten the
growth and add to the flavor of lettuce
and radishes it should be done at once.
What are politicians, or even a statesman
or two, in comparison with an early mar
ket9 Let us sacrifice them, with tears
in our eyes, mayhap, but with the proud
consciousness that others will arise who
will have equal ability to increase our
taxes and enrich themselves. They will
earn the gratitude of all if they will lie
quietly at the root of a grapevine or take
their proper place in o hill of very small
potatoes, which is much more than they
are likely to do while living at our ex-
pense.
There is another phase of this economi-
cal theory which was suggested some time
since, but which, for good reasons, doubt
less, has been overlooked. A shrewd
chemist of Paris believes that when we
burn these country cousins of ours it is a
shocking waste to let the constituent
elements escape into thin air. They ought
to be carefully gathered and utilized.
The amount of gas, for instance, in the
ordinary specimens of dead North Ameri-
cans is sufficient to illuminate the city all
the year round. This estimate is care
fully made, but is to be regarded as an
under rather than an over estimate. We
are at present paying enOrmo sum- for
very poor gas. The various companies
which manufacture this fragrant element
OF civilization cannot get rich if they give
us better light; so in pity for their present
impecuniOus condition we are content to
burn poor gas and allow them to
put the price OF a first class product into
their pockets. The cremationists in the
erection of their furnaces may correct this
mistake of our good nature. They ought
to prepare retorts for the reception of this
aerifOrm fluid, that even the dead, during
the process of incineration, may not waste
their sweetness on the desert air. These
retorts would have to be very large and
very strong, because in the burning of
some of our shining lights they would be
tested to their utmost capacity. We
doubt if even boiler iron could stand the
strain which would result from the in
candescence of some of our prominent
men.
Then another point is to be observed.
The furnaces ought to be carefully swept
after each operation; for it would be
eminently unfair to mix in death those
who would never mingle in life. The
spirit of a millionaire would not be happy
even in the seventh sphere if he knew
that the bottle on the drawing room man
tel contained not only his own immacu-
late ashes, but those of his political enemy
also. This would never do. 1t strikes
us with horror to think of the fue, mealy
dust of the dear departed Sophia.
Mingled in some perplexing manner
With Jane, Maria and portions of Hannah.
Anything but this The man who
rode in his carriage would not lie still in