Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-04-02
THE II + Id.
THE FLOOD AND THE ARK.
Ha,a.sheu Methodist Sermon ON Nature
and Nosh.
From the independently

lOTRtJ Vi OCbIiiOCs
The speaker had just been licensed,
and it was his first sermon. In per-
son he was small, bullet.headed, of a
fair, sandy complexion, and his coun-
tenanoe a. indicative of sincerity and
honesty. He was taking up the Bible
IN regular order for the first time in
his life, and had gotten as far as the
history of Noah, the ark, the food,
dc. Besides, "just before his CONVEX
sion he had been reading Goldsmith's
Animated Mater and the two to
geth r, by the aid and assistance of
the Spprit, had led him into powerful
train OF thinking a. lie stood at his
work bcnc!i, day in and day out" The
text was: GAS it was in the days of
Noah, go shall the coming # the )
of Man be-" and he broke out in the
following strains:
q Yes, my brethren, the heavens of
the windows was opened alb, and the
floods Of the z re deep kivered the
watersah, and there Shem, and there
Ham, and there Japheth-ah, ALL a.
gwlne into the ark-ah.
Aud there was the elephant -ah,
that & r-e-a.t animal ALI, of which
Goldsmith describes in his animated
Mater all, what IL az big AS house
all and his bones "a big as tree alb,
u / a-gwine into the ark ah. And the
heavens of the windows was opened
ah, aud the floods OF the re at deep
XIV. red the waters All, and there was
Sbem, and there was Ham, and there
Janheth-ah, a Ill a-gwine into the
ark ah.
"And there was the hippopoptamus-
all, that ( re animal ali of which
Goldsmith describes in his Animated
Mater all, what has OR horn
all stickin' right st. aIght up out Of
his foreward-ah six feet long, more u
less an, depending somewhat on the
length Of 1t all, a ! a.gwine into the
ark-ah.
''And there was the giraffe ah my
bretherin, that i'll contrived reptile Of
which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Nater'-ah, whose fore legs
is twenty-five feet long ah, more or
less All, depending somewhat on the
length of 'em all, and q neck 80 long
n can hay off the top of barn
ali, d pending somewhat on the hithe
of the barn all, a IL a gwine into the
ark>ah. And The heavens of the win
dows was opened-ah, and the floods of
the great deep kivered the waters ah,
and there was liam, ard there was
Shem, and there was .Japheth-ah. q !
a-gWine into the srk-ah
"And there was the zebra, my
brethern- All, that b ca Il l-f-u-l AM.
NAL Of which Goldsmith describes in
his Animated Mater '-ah, what has
three hundred stripes a runnin' right
straight around his body an, more or
less, depending somewhat on the mum
Der of stripes-ah, ALL a-gwine into the
ark all.
Then there was the 2naconder all,
mat g-r-e { sariiGt of which Gold
smith describes in his animated Ma
ter -ah, what can swallow six oxen at
u meal ah, provided his app tite don't
call for less all, a. a-gwIne into he
ark .ah. And the heavens of the win
dows was opened-sh, and the floods
II the great deep kivered the waters
an, aud there was Shem, and there
was Ham, and there was Japheth al,
a.! a. gwine into the ark-ah
And there was the lion, brethrin
III, what is tie king Of beasts, accordin'
TO Scripter alb, and who, rs 81 Paul
says.ah, prowls around OF night like
roarin' devIl-ah aseekin' If he can't
catch somebody alb a a-gwine into
the ark ah
''And there was the antelope ah,
my brethcrin, that frisky little critter-
al, Of which Goldsmith describes in
his Animated Mater all, what can
Jump seventy-ive foot straight up ah,
aud twice that distance d.wn ah, pro
vi led his legs will take him that fur
an, u q gwine INTO the ark all. And
the heavens OF the windows were
opened ah, and the floods of the great
deep kivered the waters all and there
Was J ,pheth-ah, all a-gwine INTO the
ark-ah.
:. But time would fail me, nv
brctherln, TO describe the animals
that went into the ark-ah. Your pa
tIcnce and my strength would give
ont before g half throu h-ah We
talk, my bretherln, about the faith of
Abraham aud the patience of job ID
but it strikes me they didn't 90 much
ahead OF old Noer-Ih 1t III K a right
smart chance o both to gether up all
that goper-wood and pitch and other
truck Tor Ia bnild that craft-ah. / am
sort OF carpenter myself, and have
some idea OF the 10 -ah But TO ham
mer, and saw, and maui, and split away
ul that one thing hundred and
twenty year-ah, an loookin' for his
pay in another worli-ah- tell We, my
bretherin, if the Lord had a sol Job at
that, its my opinion he would a-tuck
his wite's advice inside OF fitty-year-
ali. Besides, no doubt his righteous
soul was vexed, every day, hand run
MA, with the filthy communications of
the blasphemious set that was always
a-,oaferin' and a-Saunterin around-ah,
a-pickin' up his too's and a-miSplacin'
EN-, and a-callin' him an cd tool or
somethin' worse-ah; and, to clap the
climax, he was a preacher, and had
that ungodly gineration on his hands
every Sunday ah. But the lord stood
by hun and seed him through the job
81; and when everything was ready
he didn't send Noer ont 70 scrimmage
an scour and hunt sill over the wild
world for to git up the critters aud var
monts that he wanted saved-ah. They
all come to his hand of their own ac-
cord, and Noer only had to head 'em
IN aud TX 'em around in their places
an. Then he gethered up his own
family, and the Lord shut him in, and
the heavens of the windows was
opened-ah
Bn;, my bretherin, Noer-sh had