The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1874-01-14
Variety.

through present failure reach thy future power,
-WoDaan's Journal
Variety. 1-a
Shnnks should take leg bail.
Guilt frames-Prison windows.
Natures taioriug-A potato patch.
A fast friend-The electric telegraph.
A table Of interest is the dining table.
Leading article-A blind mans poodle.
The Teetotalers Grog-Animal spirits and
water.
When is baby not babyi-When it's tea
thing.
An Oyster leads placid life until he gets into
stew. DC sra t
Laboring Bark-An Esquimaux dog (in a
sledge).
goat is good mixer, but succeeds better as
butter.
What is invariably the beginning of lover The
letter IL"
A weil-dressed dog wears a collar and pants in
the sunshine.
Can anything that is baeful be blessing ?
Yes; a bale OF cotton.
Why is recruiting sergeant like the wind p
Because he blows where he listeth.
New Books" How to Dress on Hundred
Dollars Year as Lady" By Lady.
In press shortly to be published. uniform with
the above, How to Dress on Nothing Year as
Cafre." By Cafre.
Husband, where shall get ticking for our
new feather bed ?" ANY place where you can
get the tick"
Another paper has felt itself called upon to cor
rect an error Of the types. 1t says -" For one of
the worst of men, read one of the wisest."
A Cincinnati man bought his wife 1000 papers
Of pins the other day. He said he'd stop her jaw
ing about pins if it took his house and lot
The excuse of young lady to her minister,
who caught her mapping, was, Don't you think
ladies had better be fast asleep than fast awake. "
The Legislature Of Western State, prior to
final adjournment, recently passed resolution
thanking the chaplain for the brevity of his
prayers.
A man who rode in the same railway carriage
with bridal couple fifty miles, heard her call
him, " dear Charles" just FIVE hundred and eigh-
teen times.
Epitaph on Observation-Disclosures four or
five she bore; the signals were in vain /; growu
old and rusted, her boiler busted, and smashed
the excursion train.
Father, nre there any boys in Parliament p
No. my son; why do you ask that question p
Because the paper SAID the members kicked Mr..
Browns Bill out of the house."
clasped her tiny hand in mine / vowed TO
shield her from the wind and from the worlds
cold storm. She set her beauteous eyes on me
and with her little lips she said, An umbrella
will do as well."
charitable Cincinnati man keeps pair Of
dogs chained to his front door, so that poor peo-
pie who stop TO get bite can be accommo-
dated without taking the trouble to go into the
house"
A Correspondent wants to know who wrote the
poem commencing "0ur country's Tyres are
mute" We do not know, but that lice suggests
the thought that if our country's liars we're also
mute, it would be q consummation most deyoutly
to be wished
Awhile ago farmer in the Highlands lost
his wife, and out of love for her memory called his
estate "Glenmary." A neighbor having met with
the same afiiction, and equally desirous of keep
ing before him the image of his dear departed
followed bis example, and his farm is known by
the name Of +" Glenbeisy."
There don't seem to be any rush to hear Mr.
Bellew, the handsome Englishman with the white
hair. He reads pretty well, but then reading
isn't popular here. 1t isn't fish, flesh nor fowl
Dickens drew wonderfully because be was Dick
and dramatist to boot But Mr.. Beew
isn't either. He stands for nothing. He has
nothing TO say. Oar people don't care for mer
who are merely quotations
"You hev heern, gentlemen Of the jury" said
an eloquent advocate-"you hev heern the wit
ness swar he saw the prisoner raise his gun you
hey heern him swar he saw the fash and heerd
the report you hev heern him sxar he dug the
bullet out with his jackknife, and you hev seer
the bullet produced in court; but whar, gentle
men, whar, ask you, is the man who saw that
bullet hit that dog ?"
Usefnl Hint-How 10 make mustard plaster
Use no water whatever, but mix the mustard
with the white Of an egg. and the result will bt
aplaster that will draw perfectly, but will moi
produce blister even upon the skin Of an infant
no matter how long it is allowed to remain upor
the part So says an exchange