The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-10-23
PitIi and Point.

TABBY's "Mew-at-you-an Friend -
the nocturnal Thomas cat.
THE child who cried for an hour one
day last week didn't get it.
WHEN must time hang up his scythe 2
When he shall be no mower.
A MATTER-of-fact old gent thinks it
must be very small basel ball that can
be caught on fly.
WHAT'S in name? Not much. But
fancy Joy for an undertaken, Rich for
pauper, or Lamb for soldier
LAZY California bartenders place the
ingredients of cobler il tumbler,
and then wait for an earthquake to mix
them up.
A NEW ORLEANS colored lady remarks
that her husband holds the "'stin-
guished position of stupidnumerary ON
the metropolitan police"
A REAL estate owner, having let all of
his houses but one, was asked if that
unlet house was his last. eyes last,
but not leased. was the reply.
HAS any New York Alderman an in
terest in bearing" the sausage mar
ket? Six thousand dogs have been
dispatched there since the pound was
opened, and 1t must mean something.-
Boston Globe.
THERE is a lively dispute as to
whether Chicago hackmen are as mean
as Niagara Falls hackmen, and all
papers west of the Detroit river are ex-
pected to support Western enter
prise.-Detroit Free Press.
A ST. Louis paper apologies for q
clerical error which occurred in an edi-
f0riaI These mistakes harr1or- Iau al
lowing clerks to write leaders.
Orleans Republican.
LIVERPOOL was excited over the last
fire there. The scene, the papers tell
us, g surpassed all Dantesque imagin-
iings. and glints Of light were revealed
in the heavens which only Dore could
have sketched." It was pier that was
burned.
SMITH has done this in honor of the
lady he has just taken out of the
weeds:
The gleam of her eye was bright,
The CLEAN of her gold brighter;
The first was beautiful sight,
The second beautiful sighter."
So -Tight-gartering has killed five
women in this country in the last six
months
Wbene're we take walks abroad
Some hmping girl we see,
Let's cry aloud with one accord:
Don't garter below the knee"
Boston Courier.
A NERVOUS New Hampshire young
man heard a COW moaning for her calf
the other night, and, misinterpreting
the sound, aroused his companion, who
inquired, stWhat is the matter 2" He
received the reply, sc should think you
would ask; for Gods sake, don't you
hear that man snore 2"
DURING the recent food in Middle
field, n. Y, little fve-year old boy,
when the water had reached the height
of two or three feet around the house
in which he was, fell upon his knees
and uttered the following prayer go
Lord, don't like this take it away.
You eaid when you set your bow in the
skies you would have no more floods.
Now, how is this ? Amen"
A MAN who had recently been elected
a major of militia, and who was not
overburdened with brains, took it into
his head on the morning of the parade
to exercise little by himself. The
field selected for this purpose was his
own apartment. Placing himself in a
military attitude, with his sword
drawn, he exclaimed: Attention,
company Rear rank, three PAGES,
march ! {" and he tumbled down into the
cellar. His wife, hearing the racket,
came running in, gasping MY dear,
have you killed yourself ?" $50 about
your business, woman," said the hero,
'swhat do you know about war 2"