The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-11-05
NUMBER 81.
Man as a " "Processionist." )"

The tendency of men to herd them
selves into professions is one of the mys-
teries of human nature, which Is only
equaled by the tendency of those who
are not in the herd to stand i'm the broil-
ing sun and admire the others. Why
this should be so, what peculiar salts
faction the man in the procession derives
from it, and what objects he has in view,
are problems yet to be solved, and yet it
is probably the height of the ambition of
every average man to see the day when
he shall go in a procession; happy if he
can march on foot; doubly happy if he
can carry the "Star Spangled Banner"
or some other banner bearing strange
device; thrice happy if he may ride a
horse, terrify the women and children
with the caracolings of his fiery charger,
and shout hoarsely at his division of the
procession. All of this is more remark
able from the fact that the procession is
but a child's sport, with the difference
that the paper hats have been changed
for beavers with feathers in them; the
lath swords for steel ones; the tin pan
and whistle for the drum and fife; the
red flannel stripe and bit of blue ribbon
for variegated uniform bespanglcd with
jewels and gaudy with tinsel, and the
stick, which the leader straddled so grace
fully, for q live horse, which the leader,
nine times out of ten, straddles ungrace-
fully.
The effect of the procession upon the
individual hardly has parallel among
natural phenomena. Your butcher or
your shoemaker may be, and probably is,
very ordinary man, not blessed with
wealth or beauty; having no soul-cravings
or yearning desires for the good, the true,
and the beautiful; the owner Of brood
of rather dirty and promiscuous children;
with an intellect capable of the scientific
carving of sheep, or skillful cobbling of
boot. There is nothing majestic or
him to your soiree as paragon. Indeed,
in his morning call at your house, your
servant receives him, and they gossip to-
gether in friendly way. But once array
your butcher in plug hat and white
apron, throw an emblazoned crimson
scarf over his muscular shoulders; put q
boiled shirt on him, and stick rose in
his button-hole; hang two or three tin
sci crosses and other ornaments on his
manly breast, and, if he be large
butcher, let him carry banner stuck in
a pouch, looking as if it were rooted in
his ample corpus, and he becomes meta
morphOsed into another creature. As
he marches along in q stately manner,
keeping time, time, time, in a sort of
Runic rhyme, to the tintinabulations of
the band, he is an awful and majestic
being, who towers above yOuas you stand
upon the curbstone, and looks down upon
you as one of the sans culotes Yesterday
he would have taken off his hat to you;
to-day, ifhc sees you at all, he only sees
you as an atom; one of a thousand, adj
miring him, magnificent being, only
equalled by royal potentate, and posi-
bly, surpassed by Sultan in the grandeur
Of his bearing and the gorgeousness of his
apparel. AS you retire to your chamber
at night, with the confused picture of
flags, banners, crosses, swords, aprons,
horse-collars, trombones, and guns fitting
before you, the vision of this majestic
creature appears, looming up like Mont
Blanc among lesser hills. You regret
now that only yesterday you vexed his
great soul with complaints about tough
beef; that you had threatened to dis
charge this awe-inspiring creature and
employ another. You regret your dull
ness in not recognizing the possibilities
lying dormant in him, and you mentally
resolve to make your respects to him, the
Thrice Illustrious Prince, or Most Emf
nent Grand Seigneur, or High and Top
Lofty Baron, commanding and Most
Stunning Knights of Pythagoras; to re-
quest the pleasure of eating tough steak
hereafter.