Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-01-04
PARAGRAPHICAL.

The Louisville Commercial tells of illegal
chap Of that city, who, sin crossing the river
to Jacksonville, fell overheard and received
a cold and unwilling bath" but fails to
state whA reason. the bath had for being
unwilling"
"When | think Of the bummers that left
Boston in 1S49 TO find their fortunes in
California, and then hear Bret Harte call
'em ArgOnaJIts," said a gentleman after the
lecture, Il must award TO Bret the credit of
refining whatever he touches. "-Erchdnge.
The exhilarating exercise worked the
transformation. 1t was at New Bedford.
The family physician prescribed a drive of
sixteen miles a day. In less than two
weeks she was Mrs. Patrick O'ShauneSsey.
Her husband was her pas coachman.-Chi-
cago Post.
The Louisville Commercial publishes the
following original poetry, and its unfortun-
ate readers are unable to help themselves:
Dan Sickles is coming home
That's official news,
The Nmginius sunk in gale
That's official too.
Il is interesting to observe a Nashville
young lady embark on the street cars. She
takes position at a corner, casts a swift
glance at the approaching car, after which
she bestows 10 more attention upon it I'M
til it reaches the crossing. Then she at
tracts the attention of the driver by throw
ing up her parasOl, trips mincingly over the
crossing as if she were walking on eggs,
gets aboard the car and gazes intently for
ward, if it is crowded, seemingly Oblivious
of the fact that any one is present. At this
point, the spruce looking, middle-aged
chap evidently widower), with sparse
locks diligently combed forward, who is
always found aboard street cars, hastily
rises, steadies himself upon his equity feet
by the assistance of a strap overhead, and
oilers the maiden seat. She bushes a
little, says sPiease don't rise, prefer to
stand" and drops into the vacant seat at
once, and Immediately forgets that any one
else is present, gazing severely out of the
front window at the drivers back, until
she rises to leave the car.
There are people, know, who are con-
stantly hurting jokes at their mother-in-law
and everybody else's mOther-in-law, Just as
if the old lady had no business in the
world after marrying of her daughters. I'd
ike to see the chap who dared fling jokes
al nv wife's mother. Ii always rests me
to have the good old dear arrive with her
four band-boXes, two hot bricks, five bun
dies of herbs, a chest, and FELLOWSHIP full
of dried apples and burdOck root.
She no sooner gets into the
house than she SAYS Maria looks
like ghost, or Just like a woman up at
TarrytOwn whose husband mauls her
with a sled-Stake and is drunk half his
time. She SAYS this looking full at me,
but Of course l know she doesn't mean
any thing. ..Heayens, but this is that
same old carpet on the fiOOr~ eXclaims
INV mother-in-law, as she removes her bon
net. And then she looks at me and tells
me how Tom Scott saved his cigar and to-
bacco money and bought Nelly a royal
Wilton. / remember when | was sparkling
nv wife there was no carpet at all on the
floor, and so l laughed heartily at the old
lady'S joke. The baby, who has been
PLAYING all day, is declared sick, and a
quart bowl of catnip is prepared. My wife
is sent to bed to sleep off her headache,
though she hadn't made any complaints,
and am told that had better go to the
hotel for supper. And no one will get
into the house after eight o'clock tO-night.'
adds the good old creature. The parlor
stove has TO be moved TO Co
iucide with her views. | cheer
lullN move IT, lie pictures issHc ~ Dc
raised or lowered; the sofa wheeled OySr;
the whatnOt placed in the other corner, and
all the time | am working she-hlesS her
old heart is telling me how Barker, who
wanted to marry Maria, but didn't get a
chance, is now worth lis thousands and
thousands, and has parlOr which a king
would hardly dare enter. The servant
Girl is declared slOven. and l chearfully
discharge her, though she has been with us
a wear. The kitchen stove has to he moved
20 the left, the heads o. all the beds turned
10 the north 50 as to get the benefit Of the
electric current. aud the Watchdog shot be
cause his bark wakes her at midnight.
Anything further. dear mother" l ask,
! Is | look into her smiling face. And she
replies that Maria ought 10 be sent South
for her health; the baby boarded out by the
week: the front door steps reprinted; the
| laInbrequins exchanged; the interior of the
house grained; the kitchen stove exchanged
| for a range: and z few more tritling mat
! tiers perfOmed.-FircSiHe Friend.