The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1874-04-30


March %, 1874.
The taxes at the Corners hev bin fo
some years terribly high, and this Sprin.
| when the time came to pay EN-, the peo
pie murmured. We sed it is to bad t.
waste so much money on taxes, wher
there is so much ikker in the land wicE
money wood buy; and the niggers ano
others at the Corners wich don't stimu
late sed it wuz pity that so much Nv
their substance shood be taken in taxes
Nv wich they got no good
Bigler and Pollock onto whose heads
lite cusses, ez yoosual, took up the cry
and ekkoed it. Eff we'd he'd the sense
Nv yerlin calf we'd hev dropt it the
moment Joe Bigler pickt it up, for when
did he ever Jine us except to bring us to
confooshin
But we did ekko Joe's words-Bascom
IN pertikeler-and we determined to hev
meetln to consider the question Nv
taxes and to ascertane whether or not
we coodl't redoose EN- in some wav.
And George Washington Bascom the
idiot, furnished the wood to heat the
hall, and the taller candles to lite it /;
thus furnishin the whip with which to
scurge hisself
We met at early candle-litin, and l
Waz made chairman, Nv course. l stated
to the meetin that taxis had risen to a
pint that crushed us. 1 felt myself that
eff they Good not be lessened l should be
to quit the Corners
"Thank Hevin !" involuntarily ejacke-
lated Deekin Pogram.
mot that pay any taxis myself, but
they SO grind the citizens ez to make
keepin me serious matter"
And | continyood by invitin any one
to say wat they he'd to say.
Bascom rose and remarkt that taxis
he'd got to a rooinous pint, and he
pledged hisself to yoose all possible dill
gence in assertaining the coz Nv the high
taxis and unrelentin viggelance in root
in out the coz when he he'd found it.
He moved the adopshen Nv the follerin
resolooshen
Resolved, That it is the sense Nv this
meetin that the increase, year by year,
Nv taxashen in the Corners, hez bin so
great ez to eggscite the most serious
alarm, and that we pledge ourselves to
yoose all possible means to ascertane the
COZ, and remove it forthwith
The resoloosion was yoonanimously
carried.
Then Joe Bigler rose, with Pollock be-
hind him, a eggin him on and supportin
him.
Joe remarkt that he he'd notid the
regler increase Nv taxis each year with
alarm, and he he'd made some notes, feel
in that he Good show how it wuz.
And the cuss pulled out of his breast
pocklt lot Nv papers.
Here" sed he, Il hev figgered up-me
and Pollock-wat the county poor-house
costs us, and l find it's terrible. Six
thousand dollars is the sum totle Door
in ha old boz 81
there, and his wife and his ideot daughter,
for Spiggins spent all his time and mon
ey at the bar Nv our esteemed friend
Bascom till he got to be so demoralized
ez to be incapable Nv pervidin for hisself
Then Thompson's wife and children are
there too. Thompson, 700 will remem-
ber, got drunk one mite at Bascom's, and
fell off the bridge on his way home
and wuz drowned Then there's. the
Higgins children and Sammy Smiths
children, all Nv EN- provided for by taxa
ton. Lets see" sed this disturber, "Bas-
com, yoo hev Smiths forty akers, hewitt
yoo?"
Then Pollock he riz.
"I don't agree with Mr.. Bigler;" sed
this horo-headed deceever, "in ascribin
the high taxes to our public charities
Nv course the poor-house costs money,
but that is only small part Nv it. I hev
made few figgers wich will show how.
it is You all know the circumstances
NV the Mackentosh matter Sam Mack
entosh got drunk at Bascomb's, s, and went
home, and Mrs. Mackentosh not havin
supper ready Samyooel split her head
open with an axe. Sammy was in Jail
eighteen months, which we he'd to pay
for-he was tried three times and finally
hung. 1t cost u.s. on ruff calkelashun,
about six thousand dollars to hang Mack
countin from the time he got
drunk at Bascom's, exclusive Nv the cost
NV berryin his wife and takin keer of his
children since.
"Then yoo remember the Magreth
trouble. Sim Magreth and Tim Edison
got drunk at Bascom's."
"Why do yoo perpetooally refer to our
friend Bascom?' shriektI, see
in that G. w. wuz turnin ez pale ez he
Good turn.
Il reely don't mean to offend nobody,
but must be historikeIly kerrect Sim
and Tim Edison got drunk at
Bascom's, and from there they went to
Aliens place, and quarreled with Allen,
and sot his barn on fire. The Judge
woodent take into account the fact that
they wuz drunk, but sent them to the
penitenshary, which cost US five or six
thousand more. They said they wood
ent hev done it eft they hedn't bin
drunk"
"Then Sandy johnson, who drawed
knife on Pete Larkin and carved him.
They wuz both a drinkin at Bascom's
when
81 pertest agin all this kind talkr'
shrieked Bascom, who by this time seed
what they wuz drivin at. "1 pertest.
at won't do, G. w." retorted Bigler,
FAX is fax, and we must have EN- out.
insist that our charities do cost more
than the criminals, Mr.. Pollock to the
contrary notwithstanding Does Mr..
Pollock remember the Paddlefords ?
Old Paddleford wuz alluz drinkin at Bas-
com s, then Seth his oldest boy got into
it, and then Andy. and finally the old
woman herself, and the children are all
at the poor-house. l say"
"Will Mr.. Bigler pretend to say that
the Paddleferds cost the country ez much
ez the single case NV Artemus Jenkins,