Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-06-24
Humorous.

GETTING PHOTOGRAPH.-do was
very pleasant spoken man-that photo
grapher. He said it was nice day,
and that we needed little rain, and
that the Arkansas difficulty was bad
thing, and that photographs were three
dollars per dozen-no orders booked
without the cash in advance. He wanted
to know if 1 wanted full-length, half
length, bust, face, or what. told him
"or what" and he yanked his camera
around, flung the big screens recklessly
about, poked the sky-light curtains this
way and that with q long stick, and
then he ordered me to sit down.
"There-that way y he said as he
jerked my body to the left and nearly
broke my spine.
Iwent that way and he stepped back,
closed the left eye and squinted at me.
"a trife more !" he said, giving me
another jerk.
Then be stepped back and closed the
right eye and squinted again.
shoulders upl" he said as he gave
them a twist which made the blades
crack.
Then he went to the left and squinted
and cried cha !" and went to the right
and squinted and shouted "um !" and
he came back, seized my head and
jerked it up until saw stars.
"That's betterI" he said, as he walked
back to the camera.
But it wasn't. He came back and
told me to twist the right shoulder
round, hump up my back, swell out my
chest and look straight at a butterfly
pinned to a corn.starch box, and be as
pleasant as could.
"Capital !" he cried, as he took "a
squint through the camera, 'only-"
And he rushed back, ierked my head
little higher, pulled my ears back,
brushed up my hair, and said I'd better
try to smile and look natural.
"How the d" 1 began, but he
waved his hand, and said must pre-
serve my placid demeanor.
"Now sit perfectly still and don't
move hair" he whispered, as he threw
black cloth over the brass-bound end
of the camera, and made a sudden dive
into his little dark den. As he ratified
the glass and dashed the acids about, l
felt big pain in my spine, small
pain in my chest, another in my neck,
another in my ribs, but 1 said I'd die
first, and / kept my gaze on that but
terfiy.
Ready now !" he cried, as he jumped
out and put in the glass. My head be-
gan to bob, and the butterfly seemed to
grow as large as horse, and he whis-
pered:
"Look out-keep perfectly still !"
braced for a big effort, and he
ierked down the cloth. felt as if the
fate of nation rested on my shoulders,
and stuck to it. He turned away, and
l heard him talking softly to himself.
After about an hour and half he put
up the rag, jerked out the glass and ran
into the den. He was out in a moment
and as he held the negative up to the
sun, he said
"Ah you bobbed your head, have to
try it again y
Two CoSUSDRUMs.-A young lady,
when riding from her fathers country
seat to neighboring village met a
young man on foot, who was carrying q
Jug. She at once reined in her horse,
and asked him what he had in the jug.
Looking up with comical leer, he
simply winked one eye and smacked his
lips, to indicate that it contained some
thing good.
The young lady, supposing he meant
alcohol, Immediately began to talk tenn
perance, but her auditor requested the
privilege of first asking her one ques-
ton.
"What is it ?" she asked.
'It is this" he replied "why is my
Jug like your side-saddle?"
She could not tell.
at is because it holds a gal on" said
he.
"What trifingl - exclaimed tine in
dignant young lady, and then continued:
Young man, do You perceive"
"Just one more question, interrupted
her auditor, "and then am done. Why
is my jug like the assembly room of
female seminary at roll-call?'
81 am sure don't know" petulantly
replied the young lady.
"Well, it's because it is full O. lasses,"
said the incorrigible auditor.
The fair lecturer touched her spirited
horse with her whip, and was soon out
of hearing of the rude young man.
An Indian paper says Tiger litera-
ture has a curious addition made to it
in the shape of story from Vizapatam.
A man and his wife were out in forest
when tiger appeared and seized the
man. ''His wife hearing him cry, ran
up to the tiger, threw herself on his
back, and yelled yociferously." Natur-
ally the animal twas frightened" as
the husband has always been when she
has gone through the like performance
upon himself.
A CORRESPONDENT, who signs himself
"a Male Animal" writes to the New
York Herald &; Not long ago paid
50, including gloves, to see Nilsson at
the Academy of Music, but regret to
add that great was my disappointment,
for, instead of "Mignon." all saw was
"chignon."
An Iowa paper heads its notices of
marriages and deaths, arrivals"
Connections, and Departures, and
an anti-monopoly paper complains that
they sound too much like railroad
terms, and suggests "Sprouted,"
"Grafted." and Harvested"
hoW MUCH are tneSe fearful DuIDS
by the quart ?" asked maiden of
Fulton market grocer, the other morn
ing. He stared at her a moment as If
bewildered, but soon recovered himself
and bluffiy said, "Oh them iDyuns |
Twenty cents"
IT is not uncommon in giving advice |
to newly married young ladies' who
marry poor young men to allude to the |
fact that Eve married a gardener, but |
they don't say anything about the gar
dener losing his situation on account of
that match.
The Louisville COuyier-Journal th- |
combines the romantic with the prac.i-
cal: 1t is said that the young Duchess
of Edinburgh speaks with slight Tartar
accent. To her fond husband that
accent must seem the very cream of