The Van Buren press., 1874-08-18
NO. l8
aealth, Drugs, Doctors.

Conneautville 20. Reporter, under the
boye heading, discourses with no little
yis lom as follows:
My wife said to me the other day, with
I face so sefious that it WAS cOmical,
!" Sage, we are out Of camhre there amt
drop OF sperrils IN the house. and the
pan ~iIer Is all gone What should We
do il any of us was taken sick in the
night2'
took Oft my specs, laid aside the Re-
rter, aud said, Sit down, Pbatssia,
al let Us talk over this matter. -
"Oh yes, she replied, with some.
aing like sarcasm in her tone, talk
YiIh you means that shall listen for half
. hour while ,uu preach "
tegan: Health, madam, is not
bought at drug stores. nor is death de.
.as cd by doctors You have heard Of the
eplapii On tux cxnrinenter With drugs:
u was well,
Would he better,
Took physic
A Il uere | lie
people who ase aisa1s dosing are never
ell There Is neighbor Paugs. said
. him the other day, How are you
'angsF Don't feel very well, he
roaned; ! feel kinder gone here, and
ie placed his hands on the thinnest Of
bdonens Yet, he continued. : l ought
o be well, I've been taking pills every
~ for thee weei's, but some how or
other feel miserable.
. c, 'pl, u,anh delle 'ds mainly upon
two things / Constitution; g. By laws.
" Constitution l iLeau inherIled vitality
ancestry stock. Long lived parents
generally have ditto children; sickly pa.
rents generally their kind. Not all the
rugs Of all the druggists, nor the skill
# all the doctors, cal. extend to seventy
the life of him who was born to die ut
dirty. Early peas spring up, 60 to pod,
md dry mp IN six weeks IT'S their ma
ure. Yet other peas grow and blossom
III the frpsts OF winter strike. It's their,
nature too,
"Dy by laws ! mean habits. modes OF
living Many man with little constitu
ion. obeying good code OF bylaws.
has dickefed along and cheated death
good mauy years. Now and then o. man
butt for ninety has gone into the grave
at thirty. He deied the code. Again,
some live on and on in spite OF oil theo.
ries, IN spite OF reason, decay, and doc.
toFs-Ton Parr, for instance. The last
l25 years of his life was a scandal and q
shame. AT the age of l0l he was con-
yicted OF bastardy. AT l20 he married
aud begot children AT l52 he was taken
to London as curiosity, given bath, o
clean shirt, and square meal, aud then
he died.
Henry Jenkins, who beat Tom Parr
fifteen years. lived and died beggar
My father used to tell story OF one
Of his eccentric Connecticut ncighbors.
Pudding aud milk was his fountain of
youth. He not only lived on il, but
wanted rybody else to live on il, and
thereby prolong their lives. Long after
,ou are dead, he would say to bis OBJ.
dura,e neighbors, Il shall be hearty,
robust old man. All, said friend to
him after one Of bis lectures; death will
take you one Of these days. pudding and
all And so it did; he left behind him
many an old man who obstnately rcfus.
ed to die of eating pudding.
Nay, my beloved spouse, death 10
not lodged by theory or practice, nor
Is life prolonged by patent No thinking
man believes that il all the so called
medicines we're utterly destroyed the
general health would suffer Every hon.
est doctor viii tell you so. Let me tell
you II story:
Man, years ago was the guest Of q
friend near distant Eastern city. Wish
lng to show me the lions of the place, he
took me through an immense five story
binlding-thc factory of patent medi.
cine maker Hundreds Of persons were
employed in il. Thcre were boilers for
steaming roots, presses for extracting
juses, vast tanks for receiving the con
coctIong, devices for boitling, machines
Tor printing labels. aud SO forth. Every
known disease had there its remedy-so
read the almanac. The puagent odors
Of prussic acid and New England rum,
ana The sickly smell OF iodine and yellow
dock, peryaIed the establishment but
nethougl.t that through all these loud
lavOrs l could detect the fine aroma of
Yankee hnmbus and Yankce thritt. AZ
we turned to leave thus temple Of health,
the suprrutenaept hailed my friend with
Oh say, Durgy, hain't you got soma
good eilerg Wen, next time you come
down biing me jug Of it Every spring
u so very bilious, and good old cider's
the thing " cure it, You know Pres.
eutiy there was loud laughter just outside
the temple.
Let us look a little into the history
OF sume who took oat patents for length
euing the days Of mankind Paracelsus,
the most celebrated physician of his time,
died at forty sven. with bis jacket pocket
full of medicine Townsend, Of sarsaps.
rila fame, died young and rich. DR..
Jayne was very wealthy, but not very old
when he died Thompson went OF in
the Iifties. Scllcnch, somewhat noted ~
a vendcr Of molasses for consumptiyes.
died few days ago-sixty.thrcc. Ro.
back, seventh sou OF a gun, was cut of
! IN the midst OF bis tricks. You knew
well two young men who went forth from
Connecticut twenty years ago Both died
under thi.ty.ave, Of lang complaints, and
each had inyentcd a cure for the malady
OF which he died-----
No sel. man was ever made better
by absorbing alcohol In any rorm--quite
tue con;racj. I'm glad the pain killer Is
out let IL stay ont Lnt stuif K ills min