Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-06-18

| ANOOAC ItCO AtACAA. ok0tCcs vi 1AAt
Sachems, War-Chiefs, Squaws ant
High-you- -Muck-a-M -Mucks, the pale
face from the land of the setting SUI
greets youl You, Benefcent Pole
cat-you, Devourer-of-mountains-
you, Roaring Thundergust--you, Bul
ly-boy with -Glass-Eye-the palefact
from beyond the great waters greetS
you all! War and pestilence have
thinned your ranks and destroyed
your once proud nation. Poker, and
seven-up, and vain modern expense
for soap, unknown to your glorious
ancestors, have depleted your purses.
Appropriatipg in your simplicity, the
property of others, has gotten you
into trouble. Misrepresenting facts,
in your sinless innocence. has dam
aged your reputation with the soul
less usurper. Trading for forty-rod
whisky to enable you to get drunk
and happy and tomahawk your fami-
lies, has played the everlasting mis-
chief with the picturesque pomp of
your dress, and here you are, in the
broad light of the nineteenth CEN
tury, gotten up like the rag-tag and
bobtail of the purlieus of New York :
For shame! Remember your ances-
tors. Recall their mighty deeds |!
Remember Uncas!-and Red Jack
Let-and Hole-in-the Day-and Hor-
ace Greeley. Emulate their achieve
ments! Unfurl yourselves under nv
banner, noble savages, illustrious gut
tersnipes-'
''Down wild him.
SCOOP the blagyardr
'Hang him.
'Dhrowned him.
1t was the quickest operation that
ever was. l simply saw a sudden
flash in the air of clubs, brickbats,
bead baskets, and moccasins, a single
flash, and they all appeared to hit me
at once, and two of them in the same
place. In the next instant the entire
tribe was upon me, they broke my
arms and legs, they gave me thump
that dented the top of my head till it
would hold coffee like a saucer; and
to crown their disgracefui proceed
ings and add insult to injury, they
threw me over the Horseshoe Fall, |
and l got wet.
About ninety-nine or a hundred |
feet from the top, the remains of nv
vest caught on projecting rock, and
| was almost drowned before | could
get loose, finally fell, and brought
up in a world of white foam at the
foot of the fall, whose celled and bub-
bly, masses lowered up several inches
above my head. OF course | got into
the eddy. l sailed round and round
in it forty-four times, chasing 4 chip.
and gaining on it, each round trip a
half mile, reaching for the same bush
On the bank forty-four times, and
ust exactly missing it by hairs
breadth every time. At last man
walked down and sat down close to
hat bush, and put pipe in his
mouth, and lit match, and followed
ne with one eye and kept the other
IN the match while he sheltered it in
lis hands from the wind. Presently
| puff of wind blew it out The next
ime / swept round him he said:.
SCOT a match?"
eyes, in my other vest. Help me
nut please"
"Not for joe"
When l came round again, said:
Excuse the seemingly impertinent
of drowning man, but will
'ou explain this singular conduct of
-oursY'
"With pleasure. / am the coroner.
Don't hurry on my account. / can
vait for you. But / wish | had a
match"
/ said, "Take my place, and I'll go
nd get you one"
He declined. This lack Of-confi-
lence on his part created n GOODNESS
'etween us, and from that time for
yard | avoided him. 1t was my idea,
n case anything happened to me, to
o time the occurrence as to throw
nv custom into the hands of the OPP
,Osition coroner over on the American
ide. At last policeman come along
nd arrested me for disturbing the
'eace by yelling at people on the
hore for help. The judge fined me,
ut had the advantage of him. My ,
money was with my pantaloons, and
ny pantaloOns were with the In ,
ians.
Thus l escaped. l am now lying
n very critical condition. At least
am lying, any way-critical or not
ritical.
/ am hurt all over, but / can not
ell the full extent yet, because the
octor is not done taking the inven-
ory. He will make out my manifest .
his evening. However, thus far, he
links only six of my wounds are IA S
al. / don't mind the others.
Upon regaining my right mind, /
aid: !
at is an awfully savage tribe of
indians that do the bead-wOrk and I
loccasins for Niagara Falls, doctor. /
Where are they fromF'
/ shall not be able to finish my re- a
larks about Niagara Falls until l get
etter.
COMMENCE EARLY.-The training of {