The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-12-23
.ha. dax was freely and openly in.



s<And each fur madness ruiei the hour.
Would try lis own aelse-ssakia5 iover-
Somerset had, as usual, at that
time, very waggish and froliesome
population. Among The young men
especially we're as seri,able set Of
madcaps as the country could pro-
duee. Neyer set of niadder wags
heard the ''chimes os midnight or
consumed the midnight oil IN hatch
ling misehiesous plots, in tbe execo-
ton of which neither expense, dan
ger or trouble We're spared 10 make
them successful. Muster-day was TO
them perfect Go1-scnd They spent
months iD planning and anticipating
sport before, and were sure to have
abundant subjects fer discussion for
weeks after.
Some days besure the general mus
ter of IS--, one Of the wild blades Of
Somerset received letter from one
Of the Johnstown boys, with whom
they always maintained a close alli-
anee, informing him that they had a
"faw Eugllshmanp there. whom they
wished to induce to visit Somerset.
That be was naughty, overbearing,
conceited, and never spoke except to
sneer at and depreciate everything
American. This important missivc
was discussed in full conelave, and
it was suggested to have him for
gardeli by all means before the mus
Ter. a reply was dispatched to Johns
town, almost Casaric in its terseaess
and breyily, "Send your raw Eng
lishman here the day Of the muster
Iif you want him cooked" Greatly
10 their disappointment The Johns
town hack did not arrive till night,
which proved 10 be very DARK one.
They were ready for the cockney;
told him they had received notice Of
his coming, and of course were anx-
ious to do all honor to 80 distinguish
ed q visitor. Distinguished foreigners
SO FafeIs penetrate SO fgri they were
specially anxious To make bis stay
pleasant. lie had, unfortunately.
come at bad time, but they would
do The very best.
Our transatlantic cousin tried to
act as if he was accustomed to dis
tinguished consideration, but accent,
walk, dress and manner wrote snob
in legible characters all oyer him
All were of opinion that be was not
a gentleman, was not even accustom'
ed to wait on gentlemen. One sng-
gested that he might be an abscond-
ing clerk who had robbed bis en-
pIoyer, and the suggestion was adopt |
ed with unanimity
HAd some notion Of yisitin' your
frontier, but hif The blarsted roads Of
today were specimen h'oye want |
no more hof 'em."
(This specimen brick is introduced
to give the reader an idea of his
style Of conversation. pronunciation,
Ieie, and We viii NOT, on account oil
space, give much more.i
''The froniierl" said one in accents
of surprise. "Why you are on thC
frontier and q very dangerous part
Of it. TOO, especially ct this time"
That gentleman" pointing to the
one who had first spoken, referred to
|lhat when be welcomed you to our
village st this most qupropitious
time" John Bulls eyes grew per-
cepibIy larger, and 10 not quite so
assured and pompous tones be asked
what was wrong with the time.
"Wby lbls unexpected outbreak or
the savages, of which we had no
warning and could Dot send for help
or forewarn people from risking their
lives by coming We fear, We
greatly fear, o geaeraI outbreak III
they unite all the tribes they will
sweep the entire border. The gen.
eral government has treated US
sbamefuIiy by Withdrawing nearly
our whole garrison"
The gentleman now manifested
unmisiakable signs of uneasiness;
said be bad 'rawther been surprised
y'know, by seeing soldiers scattered |
round, but lad no thoughts of seei.,'
hingins, blarst 'em.n
"It's mercy that yeu were not
scalped in that coach. How you got
thro' so safely and quietly astonishes
me. The only way can account for
it is that they are meditating some
desperate enterprise, some attack per-
haps on US"
At this point in the conversation
another eonspirator entered with an
air of depression that attracted i'm
mediate attention.
"Have any Of the scoutsreturBed?n ~
anxiously asked The one who acted
as chief spokesman. The other
mournfully nodded his head and in
a sepulchral tone replied:
"One p
With deep sigh and subdued
and anxious voice the spokesman
a. ked:
What does he say? Any hope ~
"A war party Of Chewwinks,
were at the mile tree, and be thinks
they had good many scalps, al
though be was afraid to venture near
enough to be certain" was the reply.
Then, gentlemen, we must pre-
pere for the worst It's useless to
longer conceal the danger in which
we stand. | think We had better
visit the outposts and assure ourselves