River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1874-07-24
Storms. thunders. waves
General Items.

OCoFLAND suffers from drought.
JANIN was once foolish enough to
speculate III coal mine. He had 10
chance to say good buy to it, either.
THE colored gentry at Long Branch
are much pleased with "the white
element of the population" this season.
"CARBoLIc acid plentifully sprink-
led III a room will drive out the
flies" And the occupants, two.
A GENTLEMAN late one evening met his
servant. Hello where are you going
at this time of night? for no good, /
warrant. g was going for you, sir"
was the reply.
I'm glad that this coffee don't owe
me anything" said Brown, boarder,
at the breakfast table. Why?" said
Smith. because | don't believe it
would ever settle"
"SAM, why don't you talk to your
master, and tell him to lay up treasures
in Heaven y whats de use of lay
ing up treasures up dare? He never
see UNI again.
A CREMATION epitaph:
Sarah Amanda was her name,
She lived and died without a Islander:
Had she suryi led the funeral flame
She would have been a Sal Amanda
IL Springfield, Ohio, there is fes-
tive hen who laid her eggs up in an
apple tree, and is now setting on bare
bough in blissful ignorance that her
eggs went to grass as fast as she laid
EN-
WHEN Michigan woman was taken
from the cOwcatcher of q locomotive,
upon which she had been caught and
carried half mile, she said with feel
ing, g was jest scopped up like gosh
almighty, wasn't 2"
A MONSTER black snake measuring
eleven feet in length, was shot lately
at Bedington, Pa, by Mr.. August
Gerlie, while out on a cunning expedi-
ton, accompanied by his dog, who had
fearful tussel with the reptile.
A TEMPERANCE orator has figured it,
and arrives at this result "A file of
topers, seyenty-five mile in length,
marching steadily to drunkards' graves
at the tate of three minute, or one
every twenty seconds, all the year
round.
A NEW slate quarry has been unearth-
ed at Littletown, Me. How this new
slate, suggests the Boston Transcript,
which is said to be promising, will
affect state politics and the senatorial
elections remains open to conjecture.
ONE evening, after long and weary
march over the desert 'Mahomet and
his followers pitched their tents for the
night. Said one of the tired men
Il will loose my camel and commit it
to God. " His master overheard it and
said. " Friend, tie thy camel, and
commit it to God"
THERE are at present fifty -eigh
tobacco factories in Richmond, Va.
working on full time, and employing
on al average about one hundred
hands each. OF cigar manufactures
there are forty-four in operation in
Richmond, but the number of hands
employed bears no comparison with
those in the tobacco factories.
A MAN whose house was struck by
lightning, shocking his wife to such an
extent that she lost her speech, suisse
quently desired to rent the house 20
friend, remarking that lightning never
strikes twice in the same place. "Ah"
said the friend, "and that's the very
reason why | don't want your house."
ACCORDING to the Boston News. Mr..
Talbot's vetoes have aroused an en-
thusiasm in the Commonwealth such
rs has not been seen since the days of
that stout anti-prohibitionist, John A.
Andrew. Hundreds who were for
merly leading Republicans, but did not
vote last year, announce their purpose
to return to their party"
Tine Albany journal says: "Thore
is another big streak of light in the
South Carolina mirk. I'm spite of all
Che thieying and robhing and organ
lied anarchy, the number # schools in
the state ran mp within four years
from G2l 20 1919, and of school chill
drou from $4,000 10 nearly 1900.
There is nn eneoUrag meEt and hope
IN these figures.
\ SMALL boy approached the great
Snowman Bagnum, in Montepelier,
the 0thc, Jay, and asked him what he
would give for q cherry colored cat.
Ten dollars, replied Barnum, eff il
is really cherry colored. Soon the
boy returned 60 Barnums hotel
and unloadcd black cat at Barnum's
feet. The Snowman saw the point
and paid the youngster Sl0,with the
remark, Boy you've stolen my trade"
JUDGE WHTE gives us an evangelical
story 10 the first water. One Of his
students g7e j CONVEX 1T protracted
meeting, bat not fuding the peace no
1orCd from lis conversion, ho waited
On his minister, and informed him of
his hacksiiding condition. "Yourheart
Is hardened hy yonr profession, sol
EMMY said the man q God. "Qmtthe
law office retire on your knees to your
study, and be brought out either q
Chrisianor q corp Sc.