davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
Fifteen FOilIes.

|. To think that the more man eats,
the fatter and stronger he will become.
,. To believe that the more hours children
study at school the faster they learn.
3. To conclude that if exercise Is good for
the health, the more violent and exhausting
it is the more good Is done.
l. To imagine that every hour taken from
sleep is an hour gained.
). To act on the principle that the small
est room in. the house is large enough to
sleep in.
6. To argue that whatever remedy causes
one to ieel Immediately better, is "good
for" the system, without regard TO more
Interior effects. The soothing syrup for
example, does stop the cough of children,
and does stop diarrhGa. only to cause little
later alarming commissions, or the more fatal
Inflammation of the brain, or water on the
brain; at least it always protraets the
disease.
:. To commit an act which is felt in itself
to be prejudicial, hoping that somehow or
other it may be done in your case with
impunity.
which you have not tried yourself, or with
out making speclal inquiry whethcr all the
conditions are alike.
9. To eat without an appetite, or contin-
ue to eat after it has been satiated, merely
to gratify the taste.
10. To eat hearty supper for the pleas
ure experienced during the brief time it is
passing down the throat, at the expense of
whole night of disturbed sleep, and a
weary waking in the morning.
IL. To remove a portion Of the clothing
Immediately after exercise, when the most
stupid drayman in New York knows that if
he does not put cover on his horse the
moment he ceases work in winter, he will
lose him in few days by pneumonia.
Il. To contend that because the dirtiest
children in the street or on the highway are
healthy, that therefore it is healthy to be
dirty, forgetting that continuous exposure
to the pure outdoor air, in joyous, unre-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

Senator Jones, the man with the financial
ideas attached, is creating quite splurge
in society, and is possibly the most money
ed man here lie is living in the house
built and occupied by Secretary Stanton,
sixty-fve foot front, three-story high, brick
residence, situated opposite Franklin square,
one of the many beautiful gardens in our
city. After Mr.. StantOn's death, Mr..
Charles Astor Bristed purchased it. 1t was
filed to repletion with superb furniture and
rare articles of vertu, among them exquisite
paintings and gracefully perfect statuary :
after the death of this eccentric genius and
kind-hearted man, his widow rented the
house and its household goods to Jones. who
lives like a lord. Ills house is filed with
guests, who are received by his sisters. His
table is magnificent. and his wines priceless.
His physician has notified Jones that his
senatorial digestion cannot long survive the
tax imposed on it, every day, and he must
diet, or die without the eat. Jones is cor
respondingly miserable, and refuses to be
comforted His stables are filed with fine
horses, and he keeps for his guests three or
four carriages with drags (not drays), and
phaetons without number. He is as gener-
Gus as he is rich. and most profuse in that
generosity. 'Tis said that his present to
Miss Grant was a check for $4,000, with the
request "that not being much of lady 5
man he did not know what she'd like and so
sent the money that she might purchase
what best suited her taste. - lTdshinqton
Letter.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
NUMBER 2.

strained activities, is such powerful agency
for health that those who live thus are we'll.
in spite of rags and filth.
IL. To presume to repeat, later in life,
without injury, the indiseretion. exposure
and intemperance which in the flush Of
youth were practised with impunity.
IA. To believe that warm air is necessari-
ly impure or that pure cool air is necesari-
ly more healthy than the confined air of a
close and crowded vehicle. The latter at
most can only cause fainting or nausea ;
while entering conveyance after walking
briskly, lowering window, thus exposed to
draught will give cold infallibly, or an
attack of pleurisy or pneumonia, which will
cause weeks and months of suffering, if not
actual death within four days.
Is. To remember the Sabbath day by
working harder and later on Saturday than
on any other day in the week, with view
to sleeping late next morning, and staying
at home all day to rest, conscience quieted
by the plea of not "lceling very well =
Journal of Health.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

\ -apicnt looking Fayetteville darkey. os-
cilating between twenty and twenty-five
summers. overlook an old negro on the street
the other day, and, wedging him in a fence
corner. proceeded ~ aequaint him with all
the gorgeous provisions Of the Civil Rights
BIZ. Young Africa impaired 10 an old
Africa fund oi valuable information. thus
ly
We'll, I ncle BIZ. Summers Swiyelrishts
bill has passed de Senate oh lie United
States without murmur
Is dat 50. Jo~iar ?''
jess So. Uncle Bill And -ay. Uncle
Bill. we colored pusSons Is gwine TO see
whose pervisions Is in De pot. We are gwine
to be allowed TO ride free on de railroads
smoke in de ladie- ear. and put our feet on
de percussions on de- seats. whenebcr We
dam please.
As dat so. Jo>iar ?''
'',Iess So. ncle Bill And say. Uncle
Billy, ives gwine to be allowed to stop at de
hotels and eat at de head oh de table. and
hab dc biggest slice Oh dc chicken, and lay
around in de rarlor. and ,pit on dc carpets.
and make de white trash hustle demselves
and wait on Us without grumhlin, and when
cher de boss ob de concern shoves bill at
Us. Wen hab him sent to Washington and
obscured in the plenipe;entary."
is dat 50, .Io-iar -
jess 50. Uncle Billy. And say. Uncle
Billy. ives gwinc to be allowed to % to de
white schools and set up on De hatforln wild
de teacher and learn geography, triggerman-
ometry, algeelray, rheumatics, de rule oh
three. and De diarrhea. "
'Good God !, dat 50. Jo-iar ,"
jess 50, Uncle Billy. And say. Uncle
Billy. ives gwine to be allowed to be buried
in italic eolins wild lookinc-glas-es on top Oh
dem. and dey viii heb to carry Us on a hearse
To de grahc ward and bury Us on top Oh de
white folk, 50 when de day OBJ resurrection
au arrived and dc angel Gabriel come tootiu'
along. he'il sing ont troo his trumpet Al
YOU cnlored gemmen rise fastr And say.
lucle Bill. dc pcr'isions oh Dat bill
"What'- dat you say hout peryiSion>, ,Io
Siar?''
We'll. nclc Billy. a~ was gwinc on 10
state. de per,isions oh dat bill"
stop night dare, .osiar You say dare
rerrisions in dat dill?
"Jess 50. ncle Billy. De per,i~ion~ oh
De bill"
"Stop right dare, Jo~iar. IF dare's per-
visions m dat bill, / want sack Oh flour dis
berry mint Dam De smokin' in de ladies'
car, and de geography, and Latin, and de
italics cofin~ ! want de peryisions. Josiar
pey'> an derc's in de bill wuff dam cent ,'
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

According to Il Nirgi a City paper all our
| quartz-yein deposits ha' been produced IRON
aqueous solutions and by magnetic afiinities
of mineral molecules during 'protracted
periods of oceanic submergencies.
Naughty young Indianapolitans are INNER
sed in water barrels by their fond mammas
until they promise not to 60 fishing with
Bill Jones again. This is called moral sua-
sion, and doesn't break child's spirit like
whipping.
sam Slick didn't admire opera .'What's
this ," he exclaimS. ''just look at that gal
at the pianny airth and seas what crash
it seems as if she would bang the instrument
into thousand pieces. guess she's vexed
at somebody. and she's pegging the piano
ont of spite Now comes the singin.' See
what faces She makes. She stretches her
mouth open, and turns up the white of her
eyes like duck in Il thunder storm. She's
in a musical ecstacy; she feels good all over.
But, hello what under the sun is she about
now? Why, her voice is goin' down her
throat and comes ont as hoarse as a mans
and that dandy lellcr alongside of her is
singin the ialsetter Why, they We actil
ly changed voices; the gal sings like Q, man,
and that scrcamer like Z woman. This is
science; this is taste this is fashion but
hang me if it is nature
\ Chicaso writer says. ''Old settlers
will remember the alsent-minded reply
iocosely attributed to Dr. Egan. who was
very heavily involved in real estate specula-
tionS When asked by an old lady how She
should take her medicine, he rcplyed. One
quarter down balance in one. two and
three years,
Dean Richmond, of the New York Central
Railroad, wrote a most illegihlc hand. and
an owner of a small building situated on
land belonging to the road having received a
Scrawl from him which hc could not dcci-
pher, supposed it 10 be free pass over the
road. and when, after waiting three months,
Mr. Richmond asked the man why he didn't
remove the building, he found he had been
using the document to which his signature
was attached a~ a pass. and had been riding
ON the strength OF it all summer,
Address bya Detroit Judge III it wasn't
for you're children. Ia put Won where the
coach dog wouldn't bite Won. I'm going
10 let you - this time for their Sakes. hut
look ont for me in future II that physiog-
nomy ever peeps over this desk at me again,
you'll think I'm pile driver and you are a
mouse. Trot outof here, and don tarry 10
see wla' becomes of tie rest.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

even then not unless She is very rich. In this
country no one is too young to wear them,
and, was going to say, no one too poor,
for have often seen women who live in
small houses, up back streets, appear at
church or the opera glittering in diamonds.
A lady Of my acquaintance, when she gets
up in the morning. putson a calico wrapper,
but that does not prevent her arraying her.
Selfin diamond earrings, breastpin, and
finger rings, with which adornments she
performs her household tasks''
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
TO Helen.
BY GATH BRITTLE.
IL vas . wild, sequestered spot
On the bank OF the Bois Doree.

vas wild, sequestered spot
IN the hank OF the Bois Doree
"here rushing waters tarred not
In their race for ST. Louis Bay,
Ana there sat by the side Of the yellow stream
fisherman bearded and broad Of beam
ana ne angled for perch with skill supreme
The whole OF that summer day.
The hsh were shy, or the bate was stale,
VI the water too muddy. I ween,
FOR never perch tapped his yellow tail
On the bank where the fisher was seen
MOI nite, nor a sign or nibble to show
That here in the depths Of the broad BAYOU
Was perch, or pike, or pompane.
Or garfish pearly green.
As the yellow sun was going down
At the sound of the marsh hens cry.
The isherman's brow was marked with a froun
And his broad breast heaved with sigh
For his hook was fast in hidden crag
A water-lo-ged bough, or the root OF flag
Such as wave where the naiads lie.
To his feet arose that fisher brave
That fisherman broad OF beam
And with delicate care essayed 20 save
His dipsy hook from the stream.
Twas delicate care and delicate touch,
But more than a little was much too much;
A Jerk too many pull too strong,
And prone on his back he lay along
With prickly prongs Of cactus plants
That pierced the linen Of blouse and plnts
In band and body and seam.
Did he rave and tear his shaggy hair.
As men are wont to do,
This isherman-did he curse and swear
Until the air turned bluef
far from it, One braway hand he laid
On port side AFT, where many blade
OF cactus had gone through;
The other he slowly raised aloft
As he neaved heavy sigh,
And then IN accents sad snd soft.
" Helen Blazes" heard him cry.
How sweet, methought, is the love which qus.l.
The evil passion that rises and swells
Within the troubled soul
When pain excites the wicked swear
or disappointment, eorns. or care,
Leave Woe instead Of comfort there,
And misery holds control
Sweet Helen May thine influence
bide ever with him thus;
Thy spirit Sooth the rage intense
That prompts the spoken cuss;
For men will rage, and men will swear
And carry on. ana rip and tear,
And break the d,calOsue everywhere
II thou, dear wom1n, he not there
To counsel and to keep them clear
y things iniqutous.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
The Milliner.

III J. a. AALL1-
lane jenkins was milliner.
spinster tall and slim,
Wha blamed herself on piuminE mats
With plumes and feathers Trim.
She wore her hair in corkscrew carls;
She had a ruby nose;
Though flow r. and ribbons she displayed
She had, alas no beauX.
Her little store was Ger a store;
She kept the latest STYLES,
Her bannets all were wreathed in flowers,
Her face was wreathed in smiles.
An old foundation she would take,
Then all her art would bring
To reconstruct a perfect love-
"A GEM, "a splendid thing"
How deity she would tie tie
Though she was often tired
Tie ladies all cried out Oh, my
When they her work admired.
But all She mourned her single lot;
She felt she was unsought;
A cipher. yet she sighed for one
Vino would not count her naught.
Auspcious fate, at length Squire Jones.
! bachelor iurlorn,
A modest minded, model man.
Game IN one pleasant morn.
lis niece had sent bonnet down
T.. I've done up" straightway,
And De must get il without fail,
She could not wait day.
lie states his errlnd oh, that smile
ID made him feel so queer
And when the price was named to him,
Sac lie, You're Sery dear
Her losom heayed with widest Joy.
lie shook with vague alarms
She siammcred, sighed, then swOoned way,
Aui sank into his arms
.H Help. help. a ft.'' lie loudly cried.
And famed her with a glove;
Then dashed some water IA her face.
Huj she was dead-.n love.
Sl. soon came o.: came othe-s. Zoo.
20 sec what meant sueh noise.
and sUon tie shop quite overilswed
IS th women, men, and huys.
o. Ton thine tin death, 90 she sighed SAID bee.
What mean those words hear
uh. Nr. Jones. how can You ash
You tod ue ! was dea-"
"uh. Heavens .'' he cried. ''tae price meant
bad 200 thought q! yOu
Butt surrender J discern
What womlu's Nit can do.
" Your lots lonely one at best.
And mines lonely life
: partner VIII he to You
and you shall he my wife
" Lets wed at ouce.n and we'd they were.
A. down liic'- stream thet glide,
They ,ccl. though single heretofore.
They nog AaII th the tied.
Our Fi-fsilr Fls-af
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
Fast Widows.

Old Weller pithly advised his son Samuel
to beware of widows. He had reason to do
so, for be had welded one How he was
originally entrapped we know not, but it
may be assumed that he fell q victim to
wiles such as those to which many longer
headed man has succumbed. No doubt ere
his marriage with her she was all that his
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

bark in the dramatic profession and, re-
membering her recent hit in Boston, the
Tribune says it is fair 10 anticipate that this
present effort will give further 'searnest Of
success" as well as pleasing glimpse Of
the peculiar qualities and charms of one Of
the most earnest, independent, and sprightly
minds among the noted women of to-day. 4 II
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
FEMININE PERSONALS

A Montreal girl chopped off her finger tc
get rid of sewing.
Vassar College girls row on the Hudson
moonlight nights.
Female social clubs are becoming numer-
ous in this country.
Eleven counties of Illinois have ladies as
superintendents of schools.
a Hartford bride writes to say that a
wedding trip in Pullman ear is the sum
nit Of human bliss.
The ladies of Pennsylvania are doing more
towards raising funds for the centennial
exposition than the men.
There is an old maid in Lowell, Mass,
who shows the documents to prove that she
has refused over forty offers of marriage
Prizes for the best loaves of bread, to be
made by the students, is new and hope
fol feature of several female seminaries this
year.
girl arrested in Boston the other day
for stealing an apple was 50 weak for want
of food that she tainted away in the court
room.
Two girls have gone into the green hide
business in san Francisco, and are making
money. Neither of them is over seventeen.
The woman who believes in doing things
on the spur of the moment didn't forget the
rule when her ten-year-old boy put crook
ed pin in her chair
Mrs. Paralee Haskell, state librarian Of
Tennessee, has in preparation work to be
entitled Biographical Sketches of the Gov
ernors of Tennessee.
The Providence IIistoricfl Society has
received from lady 4 necklace made up of
hair contributed by all the women of Mana.
one Of the Sandwich Islands
Miss Maria l.. Sanford, professor of his
tory at swarthmore college, Is about to in
augurate a summer course Of lectures at
Media, Doylestown, and other places.
This Is the conclusion ofan obituary Of a
much respected lady In her life she was a
pattern worthy to be followed and her
death-oh how con>jling TO her friends -
The concert saloon girls of San Francisco
have gained victory. it having been deci-
ded that under the law women can wait and
attend in saloons as longas they do not dance
or sing.
Mother may .9out 70 sing
ht-. darling dau-hter-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10
Mother. may I-9out to s'ng
Ycs, my darling daughter;
Pray Tor those wick ed sellers of gin
saa. D. sn.a.s.. h.. .....

The cancurrency of both sexes Is a. ncces-
>ary to the perfection of our being aS to the
existence Of it, Man may make fine melo-
dy. bat women are also required to make q
harmony V0nGn's Journal.
One who make human nature hi, study
says that when a girl takes her handkerchief
and moistening it with her lips wipes i
black spo; of q young man : nose. 4 wedding
between the parties is inevitable.
Biddy marches forward 10 new triumphs.
\ lady of Lafayette Ind. has furnished the
means To enable her servant to visit her re-
latiyes and friends on the old sod-thc girl :
wage 10 continue during hcrab~encc.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

\ number oi carctully-conducted expert
mcuts on the diseStibiiity of woody fibre
have led 60 the conclusion that the latter is
a--imiAted by the animal organism in pro-
/ porlionately speaking larger quantities. to
thc extent even If -0per cent instead Of -
/ per cent, under poor than under liberal
system oi feeding ta> regards quality Of the
diet)
According 90 the wci.-known iourual edit
al los Stockharit. Dsr Cis1us-hs lrLers-
u.aEu. several lots oi five To six year old
wcthcr sheep had shown. on trial being
made. that they were capable of digcsting n
much rs 80 per cent, of the woody fibre of
paper pulp, 80 PER cent. of that of poplar,
and 81 yer cent. OF that of pine wood.
Notwithstanding, however. the nutritiyc
qualities possessed By So cheap and uni,er-
sally abundant "a material. no practical au-
plication resulted from the experience thus
gained until Jearh If prncnder and the
high rlice OF straw at length induced Mr.
Lehman. or tle lharanlcr Asronomic In
s,itution. to take up the subject aire>h. Mr..
/. commencing his trial oi woody fibre in
the form Of sawdust, with ten COWS and one
in-calt heiler, cndeayored to obtain reliable
information ON the following points
/. VIII cattle. without being driven 10
il by excessive hunger cat sawdust, when
the latter Is mixed with their other food?
Can -aWlu-t be alannseou~ly en-
pioyed a. substitute for straw in feeding
horned stock
g. Have resin and tAe essential oils con-
tanned in pine wood sawdu-t any effect,
favorable or the reverse, on the composition
or the milk and butter?
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

An Englishman was recently trOu fishing
on the banks of his favOrite stream, accom-
panied by the landlord of the inn at which
he was stopping. The latter happening to
come too close just at the moment his guest
was throwing his fly, the hook caught the
poor wreteh's eyelid, causing him intense
pain. The sportsman coolly took ont the
hook, readjusted his fly, and, as the innkeep-
er continued bowling at the top of his voice,
''Nou can, said he in whisper, put your
eye down in your bill, but I'll trouble you
to stop that noise so as not to frighten my
fish"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

An elderly clergyman of Chicago, when
asked the other day why he had never mar
ried, replied that be had spent his life in
looking for woman who should refrain
from working him pair Of slippers, and be
had never found her.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10

\ colored convert at Nashville become un-
manageable during baptism, and seizing the
minister who was small man. she threw
him over her head and he came near being
drowned.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-07-10


On this the cows were found to do 50 well
that it has been adopted ever since, rs the
regular food Of dairy stock kept at the in
stitution and by the employment of saw
dust (as aboye) TO one-third of the wood fibre
contained in the mixture, daily saving is
effected, averaging ID. per l,OOO pounds of
live weirht.-Rutal Mr. l0rkcr
Ellsworth American., 1874-07-23
Pickings and Steallngs.

The approach of the raspberry season
reminds the epicurean to prepare his
palate for a bug of different flavor.
Cincinnati Enquirer: DIR. Cuyler wants
all young ladies to band together and
say: mo lips shall touch my lips that
have touched a bottle" Rather rough.
this, on the young fellows that were
brought up by hand.
The head of the family Is about to eat
an apple. Mother-"Say, father, give us
piece" Daughter-''O. father. give me
a piece" Son-.O. father, l want a
piece" Niece-''Wont you please give
me a piece, too" Father (disgusted)-
Here, the rest of you take the apple aud
give me piece.
A TEXAS JoKE.-rhe entire police
force of jefferson, Texas. was arraigned
before the Mayor. recently. on the charge
of vagrancy. The charge was preferred
by the families of the policemen. who
stated that the parties under charge had
no visible means OF support. as they had
received but twelve dollars from the city
in the last five months.
A speculative Scotch gentleman
wanting Ia dispose OF some bees. to attract
purchasers printed the following placard: ::
Extensive ale OF live stock. comprising
Hbt It>> tlan one huNHrCd ana fortN ihou-
sand head. with an unlimited right Of
pa,'uraee." The ingenious trick succeed
ed 10 winning admiration. FOR hi- stock
brought high prices.
The Troy Times says: Recently. at n
church lair un Ida Iiill. large aud frosted
cake wa> offered to the person who should
guess nearest II the correct weight at
ten cents guess. The pastor urged q
young lawyer to invest a dime. The prac-
titioncr replied IN play you a game of
cucher To see who gets the cake. but don't
understand the other game
some twenty rhomaSton sea captains
telegraphcd for dinner at the Bay View
on Thursday. Their wives heard Of the
Eander party's intention. and also teie-
sraphed tor a dinner. The women came
an hour later. but in time for dinner This
goes Ia show that the apron >;tin. i not
easily biokcn.- Camden Herald.
An Indiana editor is evidently getting
ready To start new party. lie saws that
''of all the mIudlin fools with which thi,
world Is afflicted. deliver us from those
who Critici>c the fact that-a man put> hi.
food into hi mouth with knife when
eating at the table. Men who have moth.
IA. else to do bu. write such tNaddlc
would make second-rate pupil, for a school
OF !mbpctipS