Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-07-16


Prof. J. J. Ritter will in a short
time open a course of Dancing Les
sons in this city, assisted by Prof.
Rogers Orchestra. in which rare
chance will be offered to those wish
ing to learn dancing.
/ On or about the Goth list. we ad-
wise every man. woman and child ~
brace themselves and ''hang on TIGHT, "
for astronomers tell Us that the comet
will take walk around" around the
sun which viii necessarily make the
tail play "crack the whip" as it goes
"bobbing around the stars" Oh
mother Earth Is right in the way. Of
course. and will lie tailed ont" at the
time specified. IF you feel a gentle
euffocatin- dranght going down your
throat like fcel stars or milky whey.
or the star spangle heavens in so)n-
ton, don't he alarmed, it's only the
comet. If you get rap, sharp,
quick, and decisive, Ike policemans
club coming down upon the unprotect-
ed poll of the starving unfortunate.
dom be scared it will probably be
ONLY the comet. Worse thin, have
passed US than comets and we vet live.
Tape worms, counterfeit money and
torch light professions are for more
dangerous.
When we went east for a brief
visit a month ago, we left thousands
Of uncouth looking worms harboring
upon our shade trees. We destroyed
as many as possible, but vast army
we were obliged to leave behind. and
We expected of course to witness, On
our return a devastation that would
make our swear nature assert itself in
spite of all or everything we could do,
Shortly after oar departure, we were
infornel that myrials Of the most
beautiful raven-winged butterflies were
sporting among our trees. The air
was full OF them and they darted
hither and thither like streaks Of sun
light drapel in mourning. The mys-
terry was solved, AMI what we before
knew, we had just learned to compre-
bend, that the most loAthSome being
in all God realm has within itself the
germ of the beautiful that awaits only
the touch of the Almighty hand to
give it giorlols resurrection. The
uncouth devils were Transformed into
sportive angels, and even thus was
God gloriGed.
We went to Grand Rapids on the
4th. we expected 70 see one biz thing,
but for 4th OF July swindles, that beat
all we ever saw. They are liberal
set up there, and charged us no bus
fare to 90 up town, although it was
terrible hot, and We walked We
learned on our way home that the
reason their celebration was ~ trtter
was because Philcp was not there to
lead the thing, he having gone IT, New
York, where greatness has better
chance to show itself : Toasu Journai
If it had been generally known that
there was to have been even one; even
green Tomah toe present to attend
our Fourth" no doubt some prcpa-
ton would have been made for his re-
| ception. Our celebration was gotten
up for home amusement. We diln t
advertise a big thing and then skin to
the teeth the corners as the Tomlh-
hawks know how to do. II Wells had
| intimatcd that he would have liked to
spend the 'Fourth' with white folks,
why, we would have procured rattle
and sugartcat, a Jumping jack and a
tin whistle for his edication all day.
Please, Wells, don t come so unexpect-
cd next time. Give us & chance 10
spread ourselves in a manner worthy
the corjiality Of the people Of which
YOU are the representative. The
chickens went to roost early, and rooss-
ed high that night You can't fool
the chicks when Tomah reaches out
into the country.
~ & Tee<syuEnE II n