The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1874-12-07
s0cfARLE JIMMY.
NV MARK TWAIN.

kaN
,s, n was in the days " Zen was p' Iblic
, ,ss", Il did it secanse wished r., pre-
serve the memory OF the most srfles 4, socia- /
Mo and exbaust,ess talker l ever came
across. de did not tell me si,,g,.e remarka-
hIe ,hiuy. or one that was worth remember
mo and vet ne was himself so interested
In his snsi. alarvels, and they flowed SO na.
snrajlc snd comfortably from his lips that his
taik Got the upper hand Of my interest too,
md { listened as one wb receives reve'a.
ION ,eok down what he bad to say just
nc he ssid IT, without altering word or
adding oreJ
/ had my supper IN my room this evening
las usually, aud taey sent UP bright, SIM
nile. puileless sasrle darby boy to wait ON
me-ten years old-a wide-eyed, obserVant
little chap. ssaid:
What is sour name. my 10! :"
~Dey scaEs me Jimmy, sah but my rignt
NAMES Jaccs, Ssh.n !.
said, est down there, Jimmy; I'll not
want gov just yet"
He sat down 10 q big arm.charm, hung
both his legs over one OF the arms, ana iooh-
ed comfortable and conversational. sald:
"DiG you have pleasant Christmas'
Jimmy"
.No. sab ; no: zacky. I was kind O SICK
den: but de res O. de people deg had agood
time mos all Nv 'em bada good time. Dey
ali got drunk. Dey all gifts drunk beah every
Chr;stmas and carries on and has awful
good times" ,...
$50 YOU were sick. and lost it all But
n,njess YOU were Gerry sick should tbinh
that if you had asked the Doctor he m'ght
have let you get-get-a h54e ofunh-
and" :. ,,-
"Oh. no. sah-I dom never git drunk
20 RI /
Do nsed 10 git drunk, but dat was beio' /
was bip-but he's done quit. He don' git
drunk no mo- now. Jis' takes one nip in
de mawnin' now, cuz bis stomach rifles up,
he sleeps 50 SCUM. Jis' one pip--o to de
s,loon-eyery mawnin'. He's powerful
sick,y--poW erfuI-- sometimes be can't hardly
git aroun', he can't. He goes to de doctor
every wcek.--over TO Ragtown. An one
time he tuck some stuff, you know, an 1t
mighty near fetched him. Amt it dlsh.yer
bI,Ie-yittles OATS psoD :-ain't dat it !---truck
what you pisons cats wld!"
ayes, blue whites [ritriol] is avery con-
yincing article with cat"
"Well. den, dat was il. De ole man, he
tuck de bottle and shuck it, and shuck 1t
he seed it was blue, and he didn't know but
it was blue mass, which he tuck mos al
ways-blue mass pills-but den he 'spected
maybe dish-yer truck might be some other
kim o. blue stuff. and so he sot the bottle
down. and drat if il want blue vttles, sho'
nufl, when tie doctor come. An de doctor
he saw if he'd tuck dat blue yittleS it would
highsted him, sho'. People can't be too
partic'lar bout SIGH things. Yes, tndeedy !!
1--WE ain't@got no eats heah bout dis
hotel. Bill he don't like 'em. He can't
siam cat noway. Ell he was TO ketch one
he'd slam II oulep de winder in minute.
Yes he would. Bills down on cats. So Is
the gals-wairer gals. When dey ketcbes a
cat bummiL' aroun' beah dey just scoops
him-'Jeed dey do. Dey snake him iuto the
cistern; dey's been cats drowned In dat
water that's in yo' pitcher. seed cal IN
dare yistiddy-all swelled up like puddin'.
/ bet you dem gals done dat. Ma saysif dey
was 10 drownd a cat for her de fust one OF
'em she ketched she'd jam her into the els
tern long wild de cat. Ma wouldn't do dat.
I don't reckon, but decd an double, she
said she would. I can't kill chicken
well, l kin wiring its neck otf.
cuz dat don't make 'em no sufferin'
scarcely; but | can't take and chop dey
heads off. like some people kin. 1t makes
me feel so-so-well, ! kin see dat chicken
nights SOS can't sleep. Mr.. Dunlap, he's
the richest man in dis town. Some people
SAYS dey's TO- thousan' peoplein dis town
dis city. But Bill be Gays dey amt but 'bout
thirty.three huud'd. And Bill he knows,
cuz he's lived heah all his life, do dey do say
he won't set de river on fire. don't know
how dey TIM OUT wouldn't like to count
all dem people. Some folks say dis town
49, would be considerable bigger if it want on
accounts of so much lam all roun' it dat amt
got no houses on it." [rhis in perfect Sc.
riousness-dense simplicity-no idea Of a
joke] 81 reckon you seed dat church as
you come along up street. OATS an awful
big church awful high steeple. An i'sal
e solid stone, eXcep' jes' de top part
de steeple, [ means-dat's wood. 1t falls
Oft when de vim blows pooty hard, am one
time it stuck in cows back and busted dc
cow all to de mischief. It's gwine to kill
somebody vii, dat steeple is. A man-bis
man, he was igger'n what Bill is-he tuck
it up dare and fixed 1t again. an he didn't
look no bieger'n boy, be was so high up.
i. Dat steeplc's awful high. If you look out
de winder you kin see it." Il looked out,
and was speeches. with awe and admira.
ton, which grati6ed Jimmy beyond ex-
preston. The wonderful steeple was some
sixty or seventy feet high, and had clock
face on it, "You see dat arfer on
top O. dat steeples Well, sab, dat
arrer is pooty nigh as big as
dis do ddooI]. seed it when dey
pulled it outen de COW. 1t mus beawful 10
siam in dat steeple when de clock is stSikin';
. dey say it Is. Booms and jars SOS yopthink
the worlds comm to an end. I wouldn't
like to be up dare when de clocks stmkin'.
Dat clock Amt jest :skaker, like desc COM
mon clocks. It's q beK-jisr a reslar bell
and it's buster. You Kin hear dat bell all
/ over dis city. You ought TO kearit boom.
boom. boom, when deySs a,fire. My sexes !!
Dey ain't got no bell like dat in Ragtown. I
ben to Rag,own,.an' ben mos haf way to
Dockery iIshirty n&lesl lie belliK Rag was
got so ole now she don't make no so1n'
6ease.y:"
ENTER the landlord-a Kindly anan, Neeg-
ing t0wardaifty. BY smaa friend, withaIt
changing position, says:]
"Bi!!, didn't You say DIST dey Eas only
thirty-three hund'd people in dis city,"
eyes; about lhStg-three bundled is thes
population" Il
"We.l, somefolkSssys deys TO- tbaasal:7''ss
Yes, i knc<y they do; bkt it isn't cor
Ceet.s
"Bil, don't thinks dis gem .nan ks eat a.
whole prairie chicken, but dcy toLe ME toll
fetch it ali up" .a
'Ges, that's oil rieht-he ordeEed it."
Exit Bill" leaving .p;e'comfartahle;; Cor
/ had been perishiag TO know who :" BIZ
Was.1
"Bil he's de oldest; and he's de bes.
too. Dey's fo1een in dis ns'Iy-afi boys an
gals. Bill he supports Fem all, :an7 he dom
never sonplaiR. He's real good, Blk is. AIS
dem buotbers zn' sisters o. his'n aiu't no
'coant--aa eepttn' dat little teeny one dat
fetched in dat milk. OATS Kit sab. She
Aint only nine Year ole. amt S(a,s de y, os,