The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-06-05
Pith and Point.
oLLow mockery-An echo.

y
PRESSED for time-Egyptian num-
mics.
THE place for picnic-The Sand
witch Islands.
M1NcE pies without liquor are called
"local option pies.
THE man who sat down on the spur
of the moment has not done so since.
A JURYMAN remarked, May it please
yer honor, I'm ana deaf in one ear"
"Then leave thebox, replied the Judge,
ga Juror must hear both sides.
Ir's rather remarkable that while
several thousand feet are required to
make one rod. single foot, properly
applied, is sufficient to make one civil.
AFTER asking your name iii the State
of Arkansas, the natives are in the habit
of inquiring, in a confidential. tone,
"Well, now, what was yer name afore
yer moved to these parts %
A MAN once called on President Lin
coin. He had shaken hands with him,
observing Don't be scared, Mr.. Lin
coin, L don't want an Office" g Is that
SOP" asked the President; "then give us
another shake"
A NEVADA Judge, after the jury had
been impaneled and counsel ready to
proceed, pulled ont a revolver and Judi
ciously remarked. elf any man goes
frolicking around the courtroom dur
! ing the trial of this case, l shall inter-
rupt him in his career" The strictest
decorum prevailed.
az1y cd
an old lady patiert if she experienced
any relief during the night. She said
she did. First the relief was in one
shoulder and then the other, and then
'peared to settle in her back, but she
put a mustard plaster between her
shoulders, and the relief left her, and
now she felt better.
AMONG the many warm friends of
Edwin Booth is the wife of an eminent
clergyman, who, being very anxious to
witness his impersonation OF Hamlet,
requested him to give her position
on the stage where she could not be
seen. Madame" said Mr.. Booth,
the eye of God is as much behind the
curtain as before it.
A GOOD wife is like snail. Why
Because she keeps in her own house.
A good wife is not like snail. Why?
Because she does not carry her all on
her back. good wife is like town
clock. Why? Because she keeps good
time. A good wife is not like town
clock. Why? Because she does not
speak so loud that all the town can
hear her.
THE address upon letter recently
mailed in South Carolina puzzled the
Postoffice clerks, but was at last de-
ciphered by the official in Washington.
1t read as follows
"bon Sac posofes,
ron okforginey,
, tonsn Cey blankshp."
, 1t was intended for ''Bonsac PostOffice,
Roanoke county, Va. To Nancy Blank
} ship.
A TERRE HAUTE man, who has been
trying to make both ends meet, is living
on head-cheese and ox-tail soup.
THE OLD TOM CAT.
Don't you remember the old Tom Cat, John Smith {?
The old Tom Cat whose notes were so high;
And he used to serenade us each night, John
Smith
When the stars were bright in the sky.
: Down by the old rivers shore, John Smith,
Where the elms stand silent and lone,
Some naughty boys threw in the river one day
The old Tom Cat attached to stone.
Don't you remember old Towser, John Smith
Cd Towser who belonged to Bill Gale
And how many times in our childhood sport,
We tied oyster cans to his tail?
: Old Towser would have stayed with Gale, John
Until he grew helpless and old,
But they caught him stealing sheep night, John
q smith,
And old Towsers tale was soon told.
e Don't you remember the old pond, John Smith,
And the bridge built accross of logs,
- And how many times we have stood on the bridge
:. And peited with stones the poor frogs?
The bridge and the pond gone, John Smith,
And all things are changed that view -.
But find no change in my pocket, John smith,
a Could borrow a dollar OF you?
l. VENERABLE TREEs.-The three Oldest
|. trees in Britain are the Cowthorpe oak,
" near Wetherby, Yorkshire, whose age is
e computed to be 1,6O0 years; the Bra
N bourne yew tree, which Humboldt, Mrs.
'e Somerville and Prof Baliour estimated
4, 70 have an age of 5000 years ; and the
II vew.tree at Heddon, Bucks, which is
II supposed to be 5000 years old. The
'e Cowtborpe oak has undergone very
II little change during the last 100 years.
n At present the trunk is hollow, and
IS many of its boughs are artifcially
d propped The largest yew-trees in
1t England are standing in church yards,
o and the query arises, Did the early
"a Christians select the vicinity of such
o trees for their burial-grounds
l. The noblest specimens of the English
" view in America are at Haddontield, n.
!, J. They were planted by Elizabeth
9 Haddon, the original proprietor of the
u town, and are now about 10 years old
e COOKIES. Two eggs, half cup sugar
e half cup butter, half cup sour cream
fl one teaspoonful cream tartar, and tea