Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-07-16
Some Grave HumOrs.

The old maid who died and left a leg
acy to build and endow hospital for
cats has been Outdone by a rich old
farmer of Crawford, Orange County,
n. Y. His name is John SamOns and he
is seventy years old and sane. He had
heard OF the society for the prevention
Of cruelty to living animals and thought
it was a good thing but did not extend
its beneficence far enough. lie deter
mined to establish an animal cemetery,
and cut off Il portion of his farm and
fenced it in and beautified it for this
purpose. He has already buried several
horses, dogs and cats there and given his
brute friends graye-st0nes and cpitaphs
which tell the truth. This cemetery is
open to all who have animal friends who
die and deserve something better than to
be rolled into a shallow hole and covered
up, or, what is more common, given to
the dogs. Several Of Samons' neighbors
in Orange County have awaited them
selves of his free offer to give their brute
pets respectable funerals. The grave
yard looks as solemn as any other depOs-
tory of the dead and is doubtless
troubled with ghosts just the same. At
first the neighbors laughed at old John
SamOns and thought he was crazy; but
they have fallen into his views now,
treat the subject with due solemnity, and
Inow the old man is sane but very pc
culiar. He predicted that he was going to
die at the age of 80, but sold load Of pO-
tatOes that day instead of reclining on
his death-bed. That was eighteen years
ago, and John is still bObbing round
The metallic coffin which he had provided
for his ifty-second birthday is still
under his bed-a yawning tomb.
New York city first got acquainted
with John SamOnS the other day. He
went into a fashionable metallic burial
case establishment and asked bluntIy for
three iron collins. The clerk wondered
what was carrying the old mans family
of so fast and inquired with a sympa-
thizing Countcnance for some particulars
about size, etc. SamOns explained that
one coffin was for his niece, five feet four
inches high, one for a favorite dog and
one for cat. The clerk felt still more
curiosity and inquired what had carried
off these people all at once. The old
man explained they were not dead vet
but might die any day, and he wanted to
be prepared for the emergency. He
then gave some particulars about himself
and his designs as recorded above. lie
picked out three cases that he thought
would suit, paid for them, claiming and
getting the discount allowed to under
takers, and had his purchase shipped by
the Newburg boat The old man had
a healthy-looking wad Of money and the
clerk advised him to be careful Of the ms
and outs of New York. He assured the
cOfffn-dealer that he had been in New
York many times before and knew all
about it. They couldn't beat old John
SamOns green as he looked. The coffin.
maker, in reporting this singular case,
said that he had been many years in the
coffin and graveyard business and never
heard anything like it before These
establishments often sell casbets to in
valids going to sea who expect to die on
the voyage and take their last overcoat
with them; persons having the care Of
hopeless invalids going to some Out-of-
the-way sanitarium often take casket
along without the knowledge of its future
tenant; but anything like this simple
hearted old cOuntryman had never be-
fore strOlled into their shop. 4 sea cap
tain once carried morbid idea and
coffin with him for eighteen wears on his
voyages. He had made up his mind that
he must have a country funeral. He GOT
tired of the haunting thing at last and
left it behind. On that trip he died and
he was buried a. sea.-St. L0uis RrDuJE-
c0H