The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-12-18
WHAT THE WITS SAX.

It was an epi-votic.-N Y. World.
Still lives-Scissor-ism.- YoDkers' Ga
zette
Down South they call the reporter who
writes up the cock-fghts the pair-o' -gaff-ist.
st. Louis Journal.
It used to be Benjamin, but things 'fain't
as they used to was, " and now it's Benjam-
out.-TWrner Falls Reporter.
An ex-Bishop turns a mangle in a st.
Louis laundry. From lawn to laundry is
only slight change. Globe.
No man with strong arm has any bu-
siness to let girl shiver going home from
singing school-Rome Sentinel.
s'The Cardiff giant is in Austria" says
the Boston Post Lie-he is in Alabama,
Iowa, Green Bay, and Detroit.-Er.
Subscribers owing us will assist our cred
itors by paying up. We have no personal
interest in the matter, only we feel for
those we owe.- Whitehall Times.
Jay Cookies creditors convene in Ph1la-
a4lf1.;A,Deo. fsJ, but we have sent word
that we would stay away for three cents on
the dollar.-Dan6ury Neps.
Changers in Tennessee have got to seek
some other road to heaven than through
hole in the ice. The Baptists have decided
to admit no Grangers. Msgsoaukee Senti-
mel.
Tt is said hat'Louise Kellogg fastens her
garters with $500 diamond clasps, and Anna
Dickinson snaps q pair of amethysts round
her little calves, while the widow of Cap
tain Jack is content to tie up her old army
socks with a pair of Snacknasty Jims old
suspenders.- Rich. Enq.
The staid Chicago Journal is indulging
in social gossip and this is it's first attempt:
Miss Thingamyjig, the charming aud ac-
complished belle of Milwaukee avenue, has
pair of new shoes-presented by her faith
er, the able drayman.
Maria is very popular name in Illinois.
When a cat climbs a back fence in we'll
populated neighborhood and plainly calls
out "Mariar % twenty or thirty windows
are hastily thrown up, from which protrude
twenty or thirty female heads wildly an
swering 'fWhat v'.-Argus.
Aha! Here's actually occasion to clip
something from the Washington Chronicle:
superintendent Smith, of the Congress-
ional Cemetery, won't let the ladies sit
down on the tombstones erected to the
memory of deceased members of Congress.
He says it's unhealthy. ."-Satat Louis Jour-
naI
The Chicago Tribune and Times are la
broing fearfully over the question? sTs
United States nation or confederacy ?"
Subscribers stay at home nights from the
theatres to read the arguments, and the ed
itors are getting too emaciated to be recog-
nized.-Argus.
A young lad selling papers around the
City Hall, yesterday, had such pair of
black feet On him that they attracted gen.
tItsI nUUTDUs sssAv~s-,---y
wash those hoofs ?'' inquired gentleman.
'sWash these hoofsv' echoed the boy, look
ing down on them edo you suppose fell
low can keep his feet clean and support his
mother too?'
Detroit Free Press: A chap from the
Western part of the State went to bed at
one of the hotels the other night and blew
out his gas instead of turning it off. The
room being close was soon filled with dis
agreeable odor; whereupon the stranger
got out of bed, opened the door and shout
ed for the clerk, who came up and demand
ed to know what was up. 81 never stop
ped in Detroit over night BEFORE" replied
the stranger, 'sand don't know but this
smell is all right, but it pears to me as if
something had busted somewhere ~