The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1874-12-29
ALL SORTS.

en-, where it is needed, If anywhere.
Time will only hang up his scytbs
when he is 20 mower
The vilest sinner may return--every-
thing save an umbrella.
The last thing man should be out Of
Temper
To keep eggs through the winter
Don't eat them
There arc thirty. eight female preach.
ers in the United States.
To make money-Got aD appointment
in the mint.
A chemist says he can reduce old
boot-legs to beefsteak.
Exercise in moral comparison Get
on get honor get honest
Cash on delivery is the custom adopted
by popular lecturers.
a writer wishes to know why people
always spell fniS without an h.
Money is very tight" said thief
who was trying 70 open bank vault.
Dignity does not consist in possessing
honors, but deserving them Aristotle.
An armless Milwaukee woman boxes
her husbands ears with her feet
Providence il kind, for When a mau
has but little wit he never anows it.
When man isn't good for anything
else, be is about right to sit Oh a jury
Ao Ohio editor publishes marriages
under the neat Of Attachment Notices"
Time cuts down all, both great and
small" How about the provision and
grocery bj'l9
"Why does railroad conductor punch
hole in your ticket To let you pass
through.
"Transactions in Hair" is the heading
by Detinir editor TO an account of
street tight.
Snirkins l',ked at . painting Of pig
sp pi,se."'iy s-ked, WHO is that pig
mcni 'ot ''
Wr.n ;o..c"n,ap finds man full he
taAr, ;,iu 10 The station. house aud bis
friends bail hi,o pni
a Philadelphia paper has ascertained
that Nosh Webster used 10 play euchro
and steal eggs
A lazy editor in Ohio reads all his ex.
changes in bed He finds it the easiest
way to Gil mp his sheets,
The manner OF advertising for hus-
band IN Java is by placing an empty
aover.pot ou the portco root
"GraBgers, will sell you cofius
cheaper than any other man in the city,"
is What a Council Bluffs man advertises.
What s the difference between 8
spendtbritt and pillow? One is hard
up aud ;ho other soft down.
Misers now aud then manage to get up
feast of reason, out their how of soul is
not success.
They define the policy of the Hon.
Morrissey as long pool strong pool,
and = pool altogether.
Advertising costs money" So does
store rent so do all good aud useful
things,
Where is parts unknown p " asks
correspondent Where they don't ad-
vertise."
Don't tell an editor how to run
newspaper. Let the poor fool find it out
himself.
Performances in the japanese theatres
commence at six o'clock in the morning
and cose at nine at night.
Glory is well enough for rich man.
but it is of very little consequence TO
poor man with a large family.
al was very near selling my boots the
other day" said Joe to friend. "How
70 ?" II had them balf-soled.
Ladies are said to wear their street
costumes trimmed with bugles because
they assist them in making their calls.
The troublesome visitor who has been
shutting the doors after him all summer
now begins to leave them open
The Catholic church in California has
assumed the task Of finding employment
for its boys aud girls who are out of work.
The former residence Of Maximiian 10
Mexico is iu ruins. scarcely trace of its
departed glory being left to mark it. 30
A young mother says that you may
always know an CID bachelor By the fact
Of bis always speaking of baby as sit"
A Wisconsin man recently killed six
skunk. in one day After Interviewing
the first one he became restless and so
kept on.
During a recent large irc an elegant
piano was saved from the flames simply
because fireman was able TO pay upon
it.
The Supreme Court of Ohio has Just
decided that sending dun to a man on
! postal card is unlawful-as well as
saucy.
1t is a remarkable fact that however
we'll young ladies may be versed 10
grammar, very few Of them can decline
matrimony.
The bearer of an important temper.
auce message to this paper, yesterday, "
, says an exchange, was industriously
chewing coffee"
; How much cloth is required to make