Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-03-14
Communicated
WHlMS.
MARCH 10th, 1874.

bdFC uO ulctOllCai AhCtAheCo W
adduce to-day, Mr.. Editor. l
doubt if / am equal to the task of
barely narrating the facts as they
stand.
She refused mel! Me! with my
rent-roll, my thousands, and my
illimitable advantages
1t was like Lady Geraldine's
Courtship" with the characters re-
versed, only there is no chance of
her coming around in the end.
l have not made the slightest
impression, that's plain, and there's
s0here the knife cuts.
/ risked catarrh all to no pur-
pose, literally threw my toilettes
away, amt the pot of p0matum
that used on my refractory curts
would have kept me in flrst-class
Havannas for year.
As / told you, Mr.. Editor, my
personal attractions are nothing to
brag of, but staked everything
upon the ten thousand a year
everything-and lost!!
You see / am fool enough to
take her upon any terms.
But where did / leave off--let
met see-yes / have it: She came
upon me looking lovely as Venus
Aphrodite fresh from her sea bath
but by the time / had finished my
elab 3rate proposal | thought /
should haveto changethe figures
for she was Diana, and heavens
If ever that virgin huntress
threw keener darts l pity the poor
wild deer she pursued.
81 suppose lam to consider it an
honor Chevalier, that, from the
scores of your adorers, you have
singled me as the one to whom
you will vouchsafe your name
and protection, together with a
pin allowance of your thousands !;
Is that it? ?"
"Pin allowance indeed!" Icried
in indignant protest. "Why, /
wouldn't mind a contract for that
METER" "Ah! wouldn't you :?
1t is q matter of buying and sell
ing then; you are very. generous,
but just now / ana below market
value, aud / won't take advantage
of you in trade.'
What did she mean, her blue
eyes were brimful of mockery, but
she laughed, though her shapely
fingers trembled a trif1e.
Don't look SO nonplussed, "she
added, "ifyou were about buying
a horse you wouldn't like to find
out when the bargain was ratified
that it was not broken in harness,
or that it kicked in the shafts.
If / were to consent to
this contract you would find
out too late that your rare
thousands, your beautiful, gold.
en- lucre was just so many pearls
thrown before swine, for it's that
foolish, common, earthly thing, a
heart that should want in such a
contract. You, with your just
theories of women, will forgive
me, for / have been very humble.
have likened myself to horse,
and again to hog have sacri-
feed my rhetoric in order to make
you appreciate my reason; (Oh
Diana how you pierce! you will
forgive; am only a weak wo-
man, whom you would raise, in
your leonine strength, to the
golden eminence of your own ex'
allied (?) pedestal, but it is heart
want, and / shall hunt down here
at my feet until find it."
That was all. She left me look.
ing after her vaporish muslins
with desperate idea of kindling a
bonfire with the hated thousands
that stood between us.
| have come to my senses this
morning, and while / shaDt dc
that, I'll tell you what / will do
why offer my heart and hand to
my next love, instead of my lucre
and land.
A CANDID Young MAN.
N. B. Do you know what she
meant by just theories of women ?
pom honor she condescends to fat
ter, and it may be that she held
that out as a straw to the drown
ing. / am sure my opinions OF
women are rather limited; / al
ways tho't them nice little things
to sew buttons on, pull the curtain
right and straighten things gener-
ally, but then too / thought they
We're goddesses, requiring prohib-
tory gifts,and that is what led me
astray in this unlucky venture. III
the bare possibility could have
suggested itself that some women
We're proof against gallantry and
gain, should have cut quite an
other figure to-day.
Eureka! / have the calculation ;
she is strong minded--a reformer
--one who believes in missions
and "woman's work." after the