The Placer herald., 1874-04-11
SIMON SHORTS son SAMUEL.

SIMON SHORTS son SAMUEL.
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes. Sew
enteen summers, speedy storms, spreading
sunshine, successfully saw Simon's small,
shabby shop still standing staunch, saw ST.
mons self-same squeaking sign still swing
ing, silently speechifying: "Simon Short,
Smithfield's sole surviving shoemaker.
Shoes sewed, soled superfnely." Simon s
spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short, sewed
skirts, stitched sheets, stuffed sofas. ST.
mons sig stout, sturdy sons-Seth Samuel,
Stephen, SAUL Shadrach, Slas-sold sun
dries. Sober Seth sold sugar, starch, spice;
simple Sam sold saddles, stirrups, screws
sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins, shawls;
skeptical Saul sold silver salvers, silver
spoons; selfish Shadrach sold shoe-strings,
soap, saws, skates; slack Silas sold Sally
Shorts stuffed sofas.
! Some seventeen summers since, Simon's
second son, Samuel, saw Sophia Sophronia
Spriggs somewhere. Sweet, sensible,
smart Sophia Sophronia Spriggs. Sam soon
showed strange symptoms. Sam seldom
stayed, storing, selling saddles. Sam sighed
sorrowfully, sought Sophia Sophronia's So
ciety, sung several serenades slyly. Simon
stormed, scolded severely, said Sam seemed
so silly, singing such shameful, senseless
songs.
"Strange Sam should slight such splendid
summer sales!' said Simon. "Strutting
spendthriftl shatter-brained simpleton!'
Softly. softly. sirc," said Sally, "Sam's
smitten-Sam's spied some sweetheart.
Sentimental schoolboy!" snarled Simon
'Sn,ittenl stop such stuff Simon sent
Sally's snuf-box spinning, seized Sally
scissors, smashed Sally's spectaces, scatter
ing several spools. "Sncaking scoundre!
Sans shocking Stiffness shall surcease!'
Scowling Simon stopped speaking, starting
swiftly shopward Sally sighed sadly.
Summoning Sam, she spoke sweet sympa-
thy.
"Sam," said she, "sire seems singularly
snappy; so, sonny, stop smoking segars,
spending specie superfluously, stop sprucing
SO, stop singing serenades, stop short! Sell
saddles, sonny; sell saddles sensibly; see
Sophia Sophronia Spriggs soon; she's
sprightly, she's stable, so solicit, sue; Sc
cure Sophia speedily, SAM"
$50 soon so soon?" said Sam, stand
ing stock still.
$50 soon! surely" said Sally, smiling;
Especially since sire shows such spirits.
| So Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered
slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam solo
quizes;
"sophia Sophronia Sprisgs-spriggs
Short-Sophia Sophronia Short, Samuel
Shorts spouse sounds splendid Suppose
she should say-she! she sban'tl she
shan't"
Soon Sam spied Sophia stafching shirts,
singing softly. Seeing Sam, she stopped
starching, saluted Sam smilingly. Sam
stammered shockingly.
"SPl-sp-splendid summer season, So
phia."
Somewhat sultry," suggested Sophia.
"Sar-sartain, Sophia" said Sam. ISL
lence seventeen seconds).
"Selling saddles still, Sam p
"Sar- sar- aartain," said Sam, starting
suddenly. "Season's somewhat sudorifc, ="
said Sam, stealthiy stanching streaming
sweat, shaking sensibly.
"Sartain," said Sophia, smiling signifi-
cantly. "Sip some sweet sherbet, Sam. :"
(Sence sixty seconds).
"Sire shot sixty sheldrakes Saturday, ="
said Sophia.
"Sixty sho ?" said Sam. (Sience sew
enty-seven seconds).
"See sister Susan's sunfowers," said So
pbia, socially scattering such stiff silence.
Sophias sprightly sauciness stimulated
Sam strangely; SO Sam suddenly spoke SEN
timentaNy: "Sophia, Susan's. sunAowers
seem saying, Samuel Short, Sophia Sophro-
MIA Spriggs, stroll secretly, seek some Sc
questered spot, some sylvan shade. Spark
ling springs shall sing soul-soothing strains;
sweet songsters shall silence secret sighings;
super-angelic sylphs shall ="
Sophia snickered; SO Sam stopped.
"Sophia, said Sam, solemnly.
'"Sam," said Sophia.
| "Sophia, stop smiling. Sam Shorts sim
cere. Sans seeking some sweet spouse,
Sophia" 'i.sr,ast t7ir'-
Sophia stood silent.
| "Speak! Sophia. speaki such suspense
speculates sorrow" ann. ..g....
"Seek sire, Sam, seek sire"
SO Sam sought Sire Spriggs. Sire
Spriggs said. "Sartin.
An exchange says woman's sphere is