Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-10-16
Aumuroms shstebes.

Fox AND THE PICKPOCKETs.- - One day
Edward Fox went with his brother, Charles
James Fox, TO witness the first balloon as
cent made in England. There was great
crowd, and Fox detected a pickpocket at
tempting TO relieve him of his watch. My
friend said he, you have chosen an oc-
cupation which will be your ruin at last.
The thief burst into tears, and exclaimed,
'Oh, Mr.. Fox, forgive me and let me go
| have been driven to this by necessity
alone my wife and children are starving :
For compassionately gave him guinea,
and he went away with blessings on his
lips.-Soon after Fox, wishing to know
what time it was. found his watch missing.
Good God = he exclaimed, my watch is
gope!' Yes answered his brother, /
know i; is: | saw Your friend take If.
Saw him take it and made no attempt to
stop him : Really, said the brother, you
and he appeared to be on such good terms
with each other that did not like TO in
teriere.
WRITE LIGHTLY An Indiana editor
advises people against using a hard pencil,
and goes on to tell why. His wife desired
him to write note to a lady, inviting her
to meet party of friends at her house.
After Hubby has done as his wife desired,
and started to post the note, she saw on
another piece of paper an impression Of
what he had written. TWAS:
'.Slreet Matte: Effie desires your company
on Wednesday TO meet the Smithers.
Don't fail 20 come and, my darling, l shall
have the happiness of long walk home
with you and a sweet goodnight kiss.
dare not see you often, or my all-consum'
ing love would betray us both. But Matte
dear, don't fail to come
SIGNoR BLITZ had bright little fellow
on the stand to assist him in the expert
meuts.' Sir said the signor, do you
think could put the coins which that lady
holds into your coat pockeJ p No. said
the boy, confidently, Think not L know
you couldn't said the little fellow, with
great firmness. why not 2 Cause the
pocket is all torn out
AN old farmer riding in lumber wagon
with his SOD. when passing over a rough
place fell off, and coming into close contact
with the wheel he cried out, My neck is
broke = His son expressing some doubt as
to the case being quite so bad. the old man
responded with some spirit, Don't you
s'pose know"
A SMALL bog, telling how he came to be
detected stealing apples in grocery store,
proceeded thus Well, I didn't care SO
much about being seen, but the clerk was
cross-eyed, and l thought he was watchin'
a dorg fight across the street, but he was
lookin' square unto me an ne helped me
clean into the gutter
THE fact is, said an elderly wife, a man
does not know how to straighten up things.
He does not know where to commence. !
don't WONDER she remarked in conclusion,
that when God made Adam he went right
to work and made = woman TO tell him what
to do
1T seems to me ] have seen your physiog.
nomy sOmwhere before, said swell to q
stranger whom he met the other day, tut
| cannot imagine where Very likely,
replied the other, 4 have been the keeper
Of a prison for the last twenty years.
a New ORLEANS darkey driving cot
ton float, hearing the flagship firing a sa-
lutte, screamed Oar dcy is at it agin, an
jis war dey was befo Good Lor Git up,
Susan, and away dashed mules, float, and
darkey for the back of the town.
THE poet Longfellow in party, asked a
French gentleman who happened to be pre-
sent why seemed so sad and unhappy at
that moment To which the latter replied,
Me very mosh dissatisfy. Me JUS Eat my
fadere be dead
WILL you take a kiss p said young
beau to his inamorats, as he passed the
plate of confections which bore the tempt
ing title. 'Fie = exclaimed the blushipg
fair one, not until we are out of the room.
DO you think, asked Mrs Pepper, that
a little temper is a bad thing in a woman 2
Certainly not, ma'am,' replied a gallant
philosopher, 1t is good thing, and she
ought never 10 lose it,
ALITTLR Connecticut boy, asking 4 mate
who Good Friday was, received the wither-
ing reply; 'Well, you go home and read
your Robinson Crusoe'
SAID a friend to pale haggard smoker
You look as if you had got out or your
grave To light your cigar. and couldn't find
your wav back again
QUILP, who has heretofore been a Uni
versslist, now believes there are two things
destined TO be eternally lost-his umbrella
and the man who stole it,
WE are told nothing was made in vain
but how about a pretty girl? Isn't she
maiden vain Z
THE difference between barber and a
mother is that one has razors TO shave and
the other shavers raise.
\ PITTsBURG woman was cured o
sPeechlessness by the prayers Of a priest
Her husband is now prowling around after
the priest with shotgun.
FORNEY says The English girls are not
half rs pretty as ours, bu. they have the
low, sweet voice. And Forney had bet
ter come home. We need him for the Cen
tennial, and the low, sweet voice has play
ed the deuce before now, with older and
wiser men than be.
GIVE me 4 bid, gentlemen-sOme onC
start the cart-do give me bid, if yoJ
Please-anything TO start the cart = cried
an excited Yankee auctioneer, who stood
on the cart he was endeavoring to sell
Anything you please TO start it 'It that;
MI you wants, I'll start her for you,' eX
claimed n oad-backed countryman, ap
l.. l. L.. !