Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-10-02
dogs legs are weary. Beer is good. Th'
Judge is happy."

dogs legs are weary. Beer is good. Th'
Judge is happy"
For more advanced lessons
The boy is full of cake The long tailed
coat was made by tailor. lie is puz
zled here. He does not see how Z" tailed
can be the past tense of tailor. Is the
haymaker well? Have you seen my
aunt's umbrella? Let US walk by the mill
and look at the damned water. Puzzled
again.
Our friend blundered at the breakfast
table next morning. He turned to young
lady next to him and casually remarked, as
II he were referring to the weather, " Have
you seen my aunt's umbrella?''
Tie young lady looked surprised, and
said she had not He followed this obser-
yation with the remark: The Judge is
happy" Everybody laughed and look at
a fat man who was serving soup.
= Our foreigner was now so elated with sat
isfaction at his mastery of the English Ian
guage that he said - Let us walk by the
mill and looked at the damned water.
Again everybody laughed, and the little fat
Judge snOrted SO much soup into the upper
part of his head that he had fit of cough
ing ten minutes long, and between his
about pun Our friend, who was now the
centre of attraction, repeated all his exer-
cises, much to the delight and good humor
Of everybody.
\ VALUABLE OFFICER OF THE GOVERNMENT
-Ex-Chaplain of the United States Senate
Newman, who was sent out by the President
on rowing commission to inspect the United
States consulates in all parts of the globe,
has returned up in St Petersburg, after
visit into historical Asia The Senate has
always been fortunate in its chaplans
They have been enterprising men. There is
the present one, the Rev. Byron Sunderland,
who neglected to pray for the Vice-Presi-
dent at Charles Summers funeral. and.
subsequently, telegraphed on clause Ito
heaven and the country about Mr.. Wilson,
to be inserted in the Associated Press re-
port. \ liberal-minded man, this chaplain
no idea in his mind of conflict between
science and religiOn-science he recognizes
as the handmaid of religion, using the tele-
graph as an auxiliary to prayer By and
by. when his time expires a. chaplain, we
hope the Government will send him about
the world to inspect the telegraph stations,
especially the cables that 90 under the great
deep, and to examine the celebrated praying
machines in India, and ascertain if the latter
could not be economically attached to the
telegraph.
Dr. Newman's inspection Of consulates, it
seems, led him into the heart of Asia, and
his discoveries are second in Importance only
to those Of Layard and Rawlinson. The
doctor has been in the real Garden of Eden,
regardless OF the flaming sword, which, at the
entrance, turns every way, and has hitherto
kept all United States Consuls from the
premises 1t Is a pity that DR.. Schliemann,
the discoverer Of the palace and the table
service Of Priam, was not with DR.. Newman,
for the two could. no doubt, have identified
the tree Of the knowledge Of good and evil.
and got a Sip from it for the Washington
Conservatory and nothing Is more needed
in Washington than plant that shall teach
the difference between good and evil. We
shall hope that the consul-inspector has it,
although he makes no mention Of it. lie
has, at any rate, been into Daniels den Of
lions, and will be able to report uSefully as
IL to resemblance to the House of Represen-
tatives in the days when Butler and Farms
worth used to 20 upon the rampage. This !
report about the den will be very interesting, |
anu It41llA4N- AAA tllN Al-t 1l
Ell clergyman to inspect the United States
consulates in the valleys Of the Tigris and |
Euphrates
Bat these are the least of the agents |
achievements lie brings real brick with 1
him from the Tower of Babel. Whether !
this brick Is intended for the Patent Office I
or for the Washington monument, We are
not informed and it Is of no consequence. !
The brick l. of great value, being stamped |
with the name Of the maker and warranted |
genuine Dr. Newman deserves much of
the country Tor bringing home this interest /
in relic Of a tower that i the prototype of
oar monument to George Washington both /
are touching Spectacles Of mans impious /
efforts To reach heaven by material means in |
materiali>tic age But the doctor mus. /
be Judged, after all, to have failed in his mis- |
sion. lie has not secured 4 piece Of the /
ark. Perhaps he thought this would be be /
you'd his Instructions a. an inspector OF con- |
snlatc- \ Consul l. a land animal, and Is
classed in the diplomatic and not in the Ma |
val Department The President can at once |
remedy the failure bv sending out DR.. Sand |
er.ani e. inspect our vessels on foreign ser
vice. and get timber or nail from the
original ark. Our Government has been too
rcmiss in archaeological research Charles
Dndieg Warscr IA the Hartford Courant.