The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-04-17
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

shooting matches nave Deen nv last
crowned with success. The sport has
been declared illegal.
Next to the sweetness Of having a
friend whom you can trust is tho con-
venienee of possessing n friend who Will
occasionally trust you.
Even With an octagonal watch, un
less q man has mouse-colOred hor .
and top buggy, he can only skirmish
on the outskirts of good society.
Siam is an ungallant country.
There the first wife may be divorced,
and after that every wife may be sold
for cash, or traded for a yellow dog.
The Duchess of Edinburgh has a
handkerchief worth $1,000, kut as she
dare not blow her nose on IL she isn't
any happier than those having only
hemstitched linen.
} "A Pittsburg woman says that one
thousand reporters souls could dance
upon the point of a needle. This qucs-
tion of the size of angels souls was fire.
qbuently discussed by medieval monks.
-Laborers in Japan have had their
wages raised to u cents q day. With
such wages the laborer may take adrink
and cigar once or twice a week, but he
must dispense with such superfuities as
bread and meat.
Kate Field says Of Isabella III. OF
Spain, that scion Of the old Bourbon
race, that "she is great, stout, ungain
ly female, who needs but dozen chill
dren and a wash. tuD'to be n counterfeit
presentment of the typical Biddy."
When Tennessee father walks in
to n newspaper Office with a shotgun on
his arm and says my darter has writ
some poetry which want You to pub
lish," how's a feller going 10 plead
press OF matter2
Senator Sumner has gone where
proof readers are not known. His friends
congratulate themselves that he did not
see the issue OF the Cave Echo, which
punctuated his last words, "Take caro-
Cf my civil rights, Bill
What can a man think Of his wife's
relations who is 80 savage about his own
as to write "I don't like relations;
you are obliged 10 be familiar with
man Just because he happens to be son
OF the same father as your father"
The Scientific American predicts
that the time will soon come when ice
will be manufactured in all our great
cities at a dollar ton. Manufactured
! ice at three dollars ton has for some
| time been in the markets Of New Or
leans.
What could more effectively appeal
to ones pocket linen than TO receive an
invitation 10 a masquerade party on
heavy mourning paper. A Pennsylva
MIA widow sent out hers in this way be-
fore the late lamented had been inurned
a week.
The editor of the Golden (Colorado)
Globe, in closing his first volume, says:
elf we have hurt any ones feelings or
prospects the past year we're sorry, and
IL they will come around back Of tho
Office some night we'll take IL out OF
them and be friends"
Bury me in the garden has been al
tered TO read
Oh bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
In a beautiful hole m the ground,
Where the humble bees buzz and woodpecker'
sing.
SO that, in winter, when the snow and the
sluah
Have covered up his last little bed
His brother Artemus can go out with Jane,
And visit the place with his sled.
A writer in Scribner for April
speaks of the mode of address adopted
by the African. "Boss" is a general
term, probably containing the oxide Of
civility; "mas'r" conveys a general
idea of superiority. If the old man
knows your face, and you are young, he
calls you "captain ;" if middle-aged,
"major ;" if old, general or Judge"
"A lady lately reported a visit 10 a
bar-room, and, after describing the hor-
rible paraphernalia of the bar, she went
on TO state: "In the rear, upon a table,
the soul-destroyinR, awful game Of faro
was being played by crowd OF mad
dened, excited men. This game Of faro
is played with two sticks, four balls,
and any number of pieces OF chalk"
A Corning Ga.) youth paid his at
tentious to two young ladies and propos-
ed marriage 20 both. They found out
about it, invited him 10 the house Of one
Of them and asked him 20 take n seat be-
tween them, which he did, sitting down
in a tub of water over which n covering
had been nicely spread. Then they po-
litely requested him not lc in a hur-
ry to go, but he went.
During the progress Of a trial in
Judge Mays court, in San Jose, one OF
the female witnesses was asked this
question by one of the attorneys ibid
the defendant call his wife my dear,
when he met her ?" This took the wit
ness by surprise, but she answered him
in a manner that showed she was honest
and sincere in her belief. Did he call
her my dearT OF course not. How
could he when she is his wife ?"
"A Greenfield farmer dropped into
drug store Saturday, and after looking
around for a moment ordered q pint Of
linseed oil and two ounces Of pepper
mint essence put up together. The
clerk filed the order, but being rather
curious 10 know what was wanted Of
the mixture he made bold 10 inquire.
" Why, for ha'r lie, Of course, replied
the farmer the gals is invited toa
party Tuesday night, and they want TO
lie up and smell nice"
An old bachelor has been deferred
from committing matrimony in the fol-
lowing way: Thinkingove the subject,
and particularly.the expenses Of main
tanning a family, he set the table in his
lonely abode with plates for himself and
an imaginary wife and five children.
He then sat down 10 dine, and as often as
he helped himself 20 food he MT the
same quantity on each OF the other
plates, and surveyed the prospect, al
the same time computing the cost He
is still a bachelor.
The mail advices from Havana re-
port that the advance OF gold 20 23O rs
every branch of trade,
and that the retail dealers and import
ers cannot hold out much longer. The
credit Of Cuban merchants abroad, il is
not surprising under these circumstan-
,es, is seriously impaired. Even the
most respectable houses complain that
heir correspondents refuse 10 furnish
hem with consignments, and will only
sell them small invoices at short dates.
The suffering among the poor, too, is
10 an alarming extent, and,
As during our own memorial panic Of
asst year, everybody is retrenching and
'educing the number Of his employees.
There is an old darkey in Maryland
Who lately voted for local option, as ho
Understood it, bnt not as the public
understood il. The story Ga
rue one) runs thus At a recent cleo
ion friend asked the old man how he
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