Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05
a-s'H -
PHuNNNGRAMS.

imbibing too many juleps declared that
he mint well.
An unfortunate swain, who was kicked
out Of the house by his sweetheart's stern
parent the other night declares il to have
been quite exiting.
"A stingy husband accounted for all
the blame of the lawlessneSs of his chill
dren in company by saving his wife al
ways gave them their own way. Poor
things It's all | have to give them"
was the prompt reply
Says the Milwaukee Sentinel. IAN
old Milwaukee hummer, when he read in
yesterdays Sentinel that the women in
Ohio are emptying barrels of whisky into
the cutters, pathetically exclaimed, What
happiness to be an Ohio gutterp"
Inspired being: Whence, oh
whence, ladies, whence, oh whence came
the marvellous instinct that prompted the
minute being originally contained in this
fragile shell to burst The calcarious en-
velop that secluded it from the glories of
the outward worldg" Chorus of admir-
ing ladies': Whence, oh whence, indeed,
Mr. HoneycombY" Master Tommy:
Perhaps the little leggar was afraid
he'd be boiledw
Yesterday the little son of one of our
citizens, while playing with his sister, a
bright, sweet child of five summers, got
hold of his fathers gun, which had been
left carelessly standing in the kitchen by
the thoughtless parent pointed the gun at
! his playmate, and, saying jokingly, an
| kill your pulled the trigger What must
| have been that boys feelings when he
| found that he had lied, that the gun was
not loaded, and that his innocent little
sister had knocked a portion of his nose
of with u stick of wood -M Missouri Bruins
aolcker.
There is nothing so helpful to man,
and especially to a farmer, as thrifty
housewife. His wife may be beautiful
and loving and accomplished, graceful,
! cheerful, faithful, still he will find there
! are many flaws in the domestic economy
unless, with her other qualifications, she
combines the happy faculty of imparting
the glow of youth to the aged fowl and
of SO proportioning a pound of butter to
barrel OF salt as will enable her to real
lie for the salt in the market twenty-five
cents per pound,
The Latest on Jenkins ~" Jenkins"
is an exceedingly tall man. No sooner
had he received an invitation to attend
the masquerade than he quickly determ-
ined to &C. His wife though, she wouldn't,
and concluded during Jenkins" alb
sence to satiate her literary appetite by
attending the lecture. Here is wherein
jenkins" was deceived, tor the lady
went TO the house of friend, dressed
herself in an elegant and becoming cos
tune went to the dance, and saw her
jenkins" in the full height of his glory.
She approached him with pleasant
urin, ord Iapl inc NJ,
but the two can ever know the sweet
words that passed between them that night.
Mrs j. went home before the party I'M
masked. jenkins was trying all the rest
of the evening to find out who that sweet
creature was He thought of her in his
dreams that night, and when the morrow
came he was modestly informed that the
charming girl was his wiie.-Qulncy
Evening CaA
"A recent medical writer says: "Sleep
wherever you can-anywhere when you
get chance the want of the age is sleep"
This is not always safe TO follow, rs one
of our townsmen tsays a contemporary
knows to his sorrow. He was recently
afflicted with a bad cold and to cure
himself of it resortcd to the remedy of
putting his feet in hot water and drink
ing tumbleful Of strong whisky toddy,
prescribed by an aged and respected
friend Of the family. Having got every
thing in order for carrying ont the pre-
scription, he sat down by the fire, his feet
immersed in warm water and tumbler
of smoking toddy by his side. In this
condition sense of enjoyment stole over
him as he slipped the exhllarating liquid.
and he fell asleep. His wife had gone to
bed, aud on awakening about three
O'Clock In the morning wondered why
she was alone. Going down stairs she
was Mortified to find her liege lord asleep
in his chair, the fire out, his feet still
immersed in the water, over which cake
Of ice was forming, and an empty tumbler
on the chair beside him His cold isn't a
bit better.