Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1874-04-02
NAsBY CRUsADING.
How the Corners were Affected
Pollock and Bigler Get UP a
Woman's MOvement--The
Great Failure.
CONFEDERATE Y ROADS, }
(Wich is in the State of Kentuck, }

CoNFEDERATE Y ROADS,
(Wich is in the State of Kentuck,
March IA, 1874.
Joe Bigler, the infamus, and Polk,
wich is worse, hev been at it agin.
There liz an amount of devilment in the
huzZums Nv them men which biles
over perpetoolly, and Vicii kin nc
more be stopped than kin ferinentaten
in cider. The Corners will hev TO
rise in its mite, and kill them two inn
pious wretches in self-defence.
The fact that Mrs. BascOm, q. W. IS
wife, hez bin gitten large assortment
of new close in Louisville, and that
she's The only woman in the Corners
who heZ second dress-and it would
he almost safe to say the fnst one--heZ
bin taken advantage NV by these feends
10 perdoose an inserrekshen in our 9TH
erwise quiet households.
isaaker GaVitt'S wife, Lucindy, and
Deck m Pogram's wife, and his dawter,
Mirandy, happened to be in Pollock 5
store buyin some pork to bile, when,
ez ill luck would hev it, Mrs. Bascon
passed down the street. She had on q
fur sack and 400 bonnet, and hed
gloves on, and muff, and gold
chain, and she held her head well up,
aud he'd an ostrich feather. She wuz a
gugeous site for the Corners.
See Mrs. Bascomb, Mirandy,' sed
Joe Bigier, calling the attenshun NV
the wimen TO her, ez she went sailen
down the street.
They all looked at her, and rage filled
their chaste buzzoms.
Il never had buzZum pin,' sed Mi.
rany, indignatly.
why, l amt got no shoes-to say
nothin Nv overShoes, shreeked Lucindy
Gavitt.
why don't Isaaker git you shoes :?
asked that viliainous disturbe1, Pol
lock.
He never kez no money answered
Lucindy.
Wat did he do with the money
paid him for his corn, two weeks ago?
Wuz the innocent question NV Pollock
1t wuz spark Nv fire in magazine
'Hez he sold his corn p she asked, he
voice quiverin with enoshun.
He did sell it to me two weeks ago,
sd Pollock.
'Theornery cuss! Why he promised
Inc a pare Nv shoes and the baby somt
cloze when be sold that corn.'
But my dear Mrs. Gavitt,' said thi
hypocriticle sneak, you know
Jest then Mrs. Bascunl Was returnin
But you know he conlinyood, II,
he'd TO pay Bascoin, becoz-by the wa,
ther goes Mrs. Bascum agin, and ain
she a stunner-becoz q. w. had to o,
to Louisville TO git his wife's winte
outfit, ana he he'd to have what Issake
owed him.
AN the money for the corn, wich
planted and hoed, and cut, and shuck
ed he'd to go TO put cloze on Liz Bas
com. did it? Liz Bascon hez cloze, he
she?
And this ehraged woman howlet
with emOshun, as did Mirandy Pogran
and Ter mother.
An Pollock kept adding foool to tn,
flames he he'd kindled.
Here said he to Lucindy, SIS love
ly piece of velvet, wich would max,
yoo an elegant sack, and, Lord bies
you, how this French flannel woult
make up into dress and cloak fol
yoor baby. 1t does seem to me a.
though lssaker and the Deekin mits
let yoo wimmen have enuff money Il
git you some things. It seems pity
that Mrs. Bascom shood hev every
thing
Ell there is anything wich'll make 9
lion Nv wOmal. IFS the desire for dry
goods. Pollock knoAd this and he
played it onto 'em. He showed then
dry goods until they became raven
maniacS.
These three misguided WiInmen left
that store croosaders-they wuz Sc
many Jone Nv Arks. Thro the mud
they west to Mrs. McPelters, to Mrs
Elder PeDnibacker's 5 and 10 the wife OF
every regler resident Nv The Corners
and they determined to make Il move
onto BascUrn, and stop his biznis any.
way, so. that the money spent at hi.
bar could be yoosed in gittin cloze fol
them aud their chiluren. They ap.
pinted Toosday last ez the day on
witch they wuZ to make the raid. They
arranged a percession, with banners
cnto wich they wuZ TO write: Less
rum--more close, and they wuz to Wis.
it Bascoin and sit down in his grocery
and compel their husbands not to drink
no more, and Bascom not TO sell 'em
anything anymore.
There wuz wild forebOdins of woe il
Bascoms. G.. W., hisself, and Issaker
Gavitt, and Deeken Pogram and N.Y.
self all sot with pale faces, dreadins
this invasion. am man uy resource.
Iadyised that bari be rolled out into
MS barn and bar extemperized there,
where we could get our hips, till this
cyclone shoOd pass over. This G. w.
consented to do, and thus fortified we
sot down and awaited the attack.
Wat military konkerer wuz it that