Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-06-19
AN usroRruSArE DILEMMA.
The Disadvantage Of Being TOO Ae.

Every time go to Beersheba I get into
trouble. Ike insisted that ought to 60,
and said that Sam Scott could put fat on my
bones if anybody could, so we started for
the Spring by the way Of Cowar, Tenn.
While in the car we overheard CONVEX
satidn, which was as follows: sAiy dear,
you are green if you take your husband to
Beersheba for his health. Mine was neatly
dend with dyspepsia; and didn't think he
would live a month. I took him II
Bee:sheba, and he is now as stout
as ever, and is flirting half the time.r
Another lady spoke up and said: "John
sent his mother-in-law up there because the
old lady was quite feeble. Before she had
been there month, she could beat all the
girls rolling ten-pins, and John felt certain
that she could not live week when he sent
her there"
These remarks made me feel quite cheer
full. ai--~ 20 =,
From CoEan to Tracy was a splendid
ride; and at Tracy We got in one Of Girls
wold's fine stages, and with two spanking
goad horses, dashed oyef the mountain road
snd soon drew up in front Of the hotel. In
Sd Instant the yerandah was covered with
the guests of the hotel, anxious to see the
new corners. The criticisms underwent
were painful to me. ~ go
Sam Scott looked at me with a scowl on
his otherwise godd-Iatured face. Said he to
the steward, 81 have stuffed turkeys, Craft.
med chickens, and fattened hogs, but if |
can put any meat on that skeleton with
out banlrupting this hotel or causing the
stockholders to lose their dividends this
month, hope may be blessed.a
walked up to the Office and the CLERK
said he would send my baggage to my
room. .-fF 2.
told him had no baggage, he elevated
his eyebrows and called the porter-said be
aColuiiibus borrow an eInl'ty trunk and
valise and take them to room 34S, wesInust
keep up appearances"
Next day was invited to join a party
and visit Stone Door. The party was a
gay one, and consisted of Commodore Hol-
lings-an old sea dog retiredon half pay
and his handsome neices, Mamie and Mat
tie; also Isaac p. Green, Esq, and his cou-
sins Isam and Mollie. l was accompanied
by Miss Fay Hilltop
After magnificent ride of half an hour
we arrived at Stone Door. For three hours
we viewed the scenery, which is unsur-
passed for beauty and grandeur, and alter
inhaling to our hearts content the pure
mountain air, we sought the shade Of a
tree and sat down to rest.
Our troubles now commenced. The Com
modore had been telling one Of his sea
yarns. when all of a sudden he jumped mp
and turning very red in the face, hastily
tore off his coat and vest and threw off his
suspenders, and in moment more would
have disrobed himself. Fay, Irene and
Mollie screamed with alright and ran of a
shot distance, while Mamie and Matte
grabbed the old gentleman, who could only
gasp out, 'hornetsi hornetsi"
Said Miss Nannie-"Oh pa, don't kick
so. Try and control yourself. Don't take
off any more clothes. Consider our feel
ings."
i'Considef nothing" yelled the Conmo-
dore, .'if one of you girls had hornet or
humble bee down your back you would
wriggle out of your dresses in two minutes,
and the air would be full of screeches."
The old gentleman capered a little, but
Mamie held on and Ike ran his hand down
the old mans back and found small pine
burr that had somehow slipped down in
side his clothing. AT this, the girls laughed
heartily and The old gentleman looked quite
crestfallen,
Just then Miss Nannie's vail blew off her
hat, and, being caught in small .whirl-
wind, was blown up in the air and lodged
on the limb of tree about thirty feet
from the ground.
Miss Mamie looked annoyed. ''Oh, Mr..
b." said she, ''you are so good natured.
Couldn't you climb that tree and get my
vail? Ma will scold me if L lose it."
Could ] refuse when a pair Of loving
blue eyes were looking ME square in the
face, and bewitching smile was lowering
around the sweet lips of the handsome
beauty? No, l would have climbed to the
top of DR.. Baird's spire and hooked the
gold dollar that is on the point of the light
ming rod and given it to her If she had
asked .
So off went my coat and boots and up
the tree l struggled, | wrestled with the
bark, twisted my spine into all sorts Of
shapes and finally got to the first limb near
ly exhausted. threw one leg over the
limb, when oh horror l heard rup-
my best black caSslmeres were split.
Oh the agony of that moment, could 60
no higher and the vail was ten feet above
me. could not descend and / could not
stay where was inthe tree.
sOh please Mr.. Bedam" said Miss Nan
ME, "Only little higher"
Her smile was lost on me now, l would
not 90 higher for the world.
Said /, Miss Mamie, l am. afraid can't
90 any higher, have not climbed for a
long time ana l am afraid l will have a
chill.
"Well, come down then, and let Ike so
up said she.
Il will after get my nerves steadied,"
said 1.
"Oh, You are scared" SAID Miss Irene.
you're not sick a bit. I'd be ashamed to
90 that high and then stick like bump on
a log"
"Girls," said l, eff you felt as badly as
do, you would wish you were bump on a
log. I'm afraid l will have to fall and
knock my brains out"
81 wish was man." said Miss Mollie,
aid climb that tree and knock out your
brains with puff ball. Why don't you
come down, you stupid?"
"Miss Mollie, puff of most anything
would knock my brains out now," said /.
Said the old Commodore, "Hugh, what's
up? Does reefing top sails make you dizzy?
Shake out reef and come on deck, my
son."
Commodore said ], 'I'll have to close
reef, shorten sail and brazil up the spanker;
l have took up snag."
The old commodore understood me, and
said he, I'll signal the convoy, and haul oil
untiliyou can get in dock for repairs"
Ike, meantime, to distinguish himself,
had taken off his boots, and was climbing
the tree to get the vail. whispered to him
the trouble. He grinned little, and then
got the vail and descended the tree. He
pulled on one boot and was putting on the
other, when suddenly he said, "Merciful
Father there's a snake in my boot" He
made a quick grab and clutched the boot
below his foot with the energy of despair.
His face turned deadly pale, and he grabbed
abig rock and pounded that bort for full