The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1874-01-28
JOSH BILLINGS ON MAR
REAGE. ~,

0o' eHSiS 1" WV NASoH oN ~
jobs IN it.. -- ..ss es.%.t
1t is an old institushun, older
than the pyramids, and as phullof
hyrogliphics that nobody can parse
History holds its tongue who the
pair waz who first put On the silk
en- harness, and promised to work
kind to it, thru thick and thin, up
bill and down, and-on the level;
rain or shine, survive OR: perish,
sink or swim, drown or fote.
= But watevcr they waz. they
must have made good thing oft,
or so many of their posterity
would not have harnessed up since
and drove out. - ~
There is a grato moral grip'to
marriage; tits the matter that holds
the soshul bricks together. 49,.
But there amt but darn few
pholks who put their money in
matrimony who could sit down
and give . good written opinyun
viii on arth they cum to do it.
This is a CRATE proof that tiz
one of them natral kind ov acksi-
dents that must happen, jist as
birds fly out ov the nest, when
they have feathers enuf, with.
out being able tew tell why.
Sum marry for buty, and never
discover their mistake. This is
lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't
see it. 49, -.s2. pet. ;..,
Sum marry for pedigree, snd feel
big for six months, and then very
sensibly cum tow the conclusion
that pedigree amt no better than
skim m-nlilk. .- ..r.. .....: b.
|" Sum marry bekaze they hav bin
highsted sumwhere else. This is
a cross match-a bay and sorrcl.
Pride may make it endurable.
Sum marry for luv, without O
cent in their pocket, nor a friend
in the world, nor a drop ofpedi-
gree. This looks desperate, bit it
is the strength Of she game. ..... 81
If margin for luv ain'ta a success,
then matrimony is dead beat.
Sum marry belzazc they think
wimin will be scarce next year,
and live to wonder how the crop
holds out.
Sum marry to get rid of them
selves, and discover that the game
was one that two could play at,
\
and neither win. ga. ... ....!
Sum marry second time to get
even, and find ita gambling game
the more they put down, the less
they take up. .. Il. ....
Sum marry to be happy, and not
fading it wonder where all the
happiness goes to when it dies.
Sum marry, they can't tell why
and live. they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married,
and it is good joke. ...a1
Sum marry in haste, and then
sit down and thinks it carefully
over.
Sum thinkit over carefully fust,
and then set down and marry.
Both ways are right, if they hit
the mark.
Sum marry rakes to convert
them. This is a little risky, and
takes smart missionary to do it.
Sum marry coquettes. This is
like buying poor farm heavily
mortgaged, and working the BAL
ance Of your days to clear off the
mortgages.
Married life haz it's chances, and
this is just what gives it it's favor.
Everybody luvs to phool with
the chances, bekauzc everybody
expects to win. But an author
lied to state that everybody don't
win.
But, after all, married life is full
as certain az dry goods biziness.
kno man can swear. exackly
where he will fetch up when he
touches calico.
Kno man can tell just what cal
leo has made upits mind to do next.
| Calico don't kno even herself.
Dry goods ov all kinds is the
child ov circumstances.
! Sum never marry, but this is
just as risky. The disease IS the
same with another name to it.
The man who stands on the
bank, shivering and dassent, IL
more apt to catch cold than him
who pitches his head fust into the
river.
There is bat few who never mar
ry bekauze they won't. They all
banker, and most Of them starve
with bread before them (spread on
both sides,) jist for thelack of grit.
Marry yung! il my motto.
l have tried it, and kno what
| am talking about.
If cnnybody acks you why you
rot married (if needs he \ fell him