The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1874-12-24

A French milliner conceived the novel
idea OF having the ladies wear their hats on
their heads.
Two young ladies holding q conversation
over q new dress: 'sAnd does Il &c well y
ssFitl yes, IS Il had been melted and
poured IN. ~
An EneIishman who Is travelling in this
country writes to the TINES that "many
wives have 70 carry fsyolvers % protect
themselves from their husbands.
Firss girl Of the period-What has be
come Of Julia Wafeg Second ditto-Oh,
she is doing arst-rate She has been de-
ceived bv 4 fimid old fellow with lots OF
money.
Married. N Richmond, Virginia, Mr..
John Henry Going and Miss Marie Bowler.
An eyewitness Of the affair sums il up as
follows: Bowler is now Going, and Co
ing's gone.
Ms. PaFtington writes 10 say that she
can't make out why all the "helpsp she
gets are so stupid, when she is always 50
particular TO obtain them from an intelli-
sence Office. as-
When Peoria youth goes 10 spark q girl
he finds the old lady in one corner Of the
room and the old man in another, and a
dog under the melOdeon, aud he is required
70 speak up like an orator.
A man had better have a millstone tied
to his neck and be cast into the sea than to
promise to marry Texas girl and then re-
fuse. The whole country turns out TO hunt
him, and he is generally left 70 grow up
with the trees. t,...-.r,...,..
In Switzerland no girl is allowed 10 break
her marriage engagement unless her lover
loses both OF his legs, Such rule would
work great wrong in this country, where the
seat OF q mans affection never gets lower
than his stomach.
There Is one fact 70 be observed IN refer
enco 70 the wickedest young man in the
ncighboFhood, the influence OF which
no amount Of Sunday school precept can
overcome, and that is the fondness with
which all the pretty girls spoon on him.
According to Cincinnati paper, John
Thomas was recently sued by Hester Prim
for breach of promise. "John Thomas,
como into couTtp shouted the constable.
ssJOhn Thomas needn't come in to court me
any more, said Hester, primly.
Nineteen years ago Tennessee father re-
fused to let his daughter 90 to q candy
pull, and she disappeared. The other day
she returned, lifted eleven children out OF
the wagon, and entered the house and took
on her things as coolly as'if she hadn't
been gone over day.
A Lafayette, Indiana, man, just as he
was approaching the shining shore, took
his wife's hand and said: ''Susan, you've
been good wife. We've lived together
for thirty-tWo years, and never found q
button of my shirt. I'll speak good
word for you as soon as get thar ~
A charming picture Is that Of Saxe's
widow at q fashionable party: 1a
Her shawl was as sable 60 night @
Her glovea were as dark ~ her shawl,
And her iewels-thAt dashed IN the light
We're black e . funeral pail; IN
Her robe had thu hue Of the rest. ~ flf
H0w nicely Il dtted her SHAPED @ s
And the grief thnt was heaving her breast
Boiled over IN pillows Of crapoi
An energetic lady in 0lWein, Iowa, Ia
ments her inability to vote. "Why, if I
were q man, she said, recently, "I'd 20 to
the polls II had TO be laid on feather
bed, placed on a stoneboat, and hauled by
blind OK with one leg broken, but I'd
vote I But what's the use of talking
Men are men when they amt swine, and