The Hawaiian gazette., 1874-04-15
Variety.

Modern Poetry-Rhymed nonsense.
The best cure for dirt is a water-cure.
A blacksmith is always striking for wages.
Men OF means are often the meanest Of men.
Men dream Of courtship, but in vedOCk wake.
SAN, why an de hogs de most intelligent folks
in de worldg Because they noes ebeytIng
Jones got trusted for that hat and he now
feels Consciousness OF being in debt over
head and ears
Which is the oldest, Miss Antiquity, old
Auuiy Diluyian, Miss Ann Terror, Miss Ances-
tor Miss Ann T. Mundane or Miss Ann I.
Cedent?
A Montana genius takes the position that
water has caused more deaths than whiskey. lie
is undoubtedly rum one"
A modern philosopher thinks it a mistake TO
suppose women have stronger attachments than
men. A man is often attached to an old hat ;.
but be asks d" Who ever heard Of woman being
attached 10 an old bonnet? 2
Several Irishmen we're disputing one day upon
their own best points, when one said in az ag-
gressive manner, Faith, and I'm brick
And, indade,n said another I'm q brick.lay-
er and feIled the first speaker 70 the ground.
Sapphire is q skyline. Amethyst is & violet
in shades Agate, white surface aud grey be
meath. C5rnelian. 4 sort Of flesh tinge. Opal, a
brilliant white. Jasper, Of various c0lOrs, simple
and mingled. Onyx, wbliish red. Crystal, Of
~ ice hue
a disappointed American, writing from Flor
euoe, says; We hear great deal about the
blue skies Of Italy, but never word about its
rainy ones, or OF lis heavy misis and damp, chilly
days that often merge into weeks, nay, sometimes
into months"
First Swell" Let's sse-to-moyrov's-Wbat
t'5ay, byth'6y g Second Swell Tuesday, isn't
it-5r Monday was vest day Sunday! Ne
mini-.yswus}-uy uanI be here pwesenty-
pwecloas shresd fellog-tsu Us Ike shot
PlEo5.
What exclaimed the fashionable FitEviggie
10 the exquisite Mss De Ia Spauowgrass-
what Eoald you be, dearest, If ] should press
the stamp Of love upon those ssaling-Esx lips =
- l. responded the fairy-Iike creature, should
be-siatioasry!r
As Tweed was sitting with his feIow-couyicts
Al dinner, some Of the ceiling Of the nom sud
denly fslL Tie BiackEelrs Island Doctor look
ed up and jokingly observed, That must be some
Of Garyeys plassering = whsreat GarEey's shil-
On riag-psrtHer smiled a1dlby.
Sad Lord John Russell TO Hume, At social .
dinner, What DO y0a consider The object Of
legislatio1s7 The greatest goei to the great-
est number" What do y0a consider the great
est uGmbsrg7 Member one, ny lord, was lie .
commOners prompt reply
How nov 2 : friend said to Jones, finding
him looking unusually cheerful aud sprghtly, not
vithstaading the fact that be had been up pretty
nearly all HigbI. You don't seem to be affect
ed By the crisls.H And Jones merely remarked,
"a No such thing its boy"
An Illinois man got up before dawn, lately, to
see the saa rise, and was shot BY the exasperated
owner Of melOa-pateh next do9r. In May last
be made similar es5rt, and vas bitten on the
heel by strange dog. BE thinks OF hirisg 4
boy 10 Do the early rising for his family.
Smith says be doesn't know much about
music, but if its great thing FOR man Who has
spe1t thousands Of dollars on his voice, and has
studied Tor years 70 sing bigh-ehest c, be thinks
his kettle al home c4n beat it, for every evening,
with CHEEKY voice, it sings away up to hight
chest tea And KS oaly dollar kettle, too.
A queer nistske was made By young lady in
Indiana who sought to Genolish an unfAithfsl
lover by publlshiBg some verses addressed 10
hin, in which, after prOphesying her immediate
dissolution, she said Cone, gaze upon M
dust, false ones hut the eompositor spelled dust
with b. and The young nan went to see her
the next evening.
Master CoviIle received prize Friday after
noon for composition on Reverence, and further
distinguished himself IN the evening, OF the oe-
casOn Of the pastors visit, BY shutting the tails
Of the dOninies coat in the parlor door and i'm
Peliing hin 70 leave them there BY Introducing
pm in his chEir. The pastor retained home with
cloud on his brow, and one Of CoriIleis coats
On his back, leaving Master CoyiIle executing
tOrnpipe il the EOOdshed, under the auspices Of
his iather--DDsbuTy 8e1rs.