, 1874-04-12

whether this /. to express their appreciation ol
the perndious conduct Of the hero of the ditty,
or to encourage tho young lady to keep on, Is OF
no consequence.
THE PRIVATE DEEssISo-RooN.
At this supreme moment, while the visitor is
wondering how it will all como ont whothot
be will finally yiold and do. the square
thing by the LADY, or md ba5siy leiTs ts
nozt fellow, billy seizes him With salutation
commonclng: ii Say, Gully, sherry in here" and
thus invites him to his private dressing-room.
THIS is q wonderful chamber-the abode Of &C.
clothes enough to keep . Chinese laundry in
their unwholesome appearance. Billy explains
that the dirt is not dirt it is high art Il would
neyer do, he urges, to So on the stage in
linen suit OF spotless wl,iteness, because he
me :" he adds, overcome with sudden polteness,
- while doyest myself OF the buuliliatiug badge
Of IN efrete civilization" By which circumulocu-
ton be means to prepare his visitor for tho re-
kindly examines tie prints on the wall
during this liberation OF geuuiH
from the slackles Of conventionality. and
in moment finds Mr.. Rice looking very Fat and
hair afterwards found to be wig) standing
Cling 10 Conceal lis face. he smooths out tic
refractory paper, and remarks, Gents, will
now proceed to visit 'Afric's sunny foun-
tains and (sings) India's coral strand Nh
piece Of looking-glass hangs before him, boz
OF blacking is on tho drossing-table. " First
class return to Timbuctoo," says Mr.. Rice, as he
plunges his hands into tho blacking-bo1 and
transfers about half pound OF the stuff to his
countonance. "Clange here for Caribee, Hima-
laya, and the Mountains OF tho Moon,' he adds,
aud slaps on another coat of black.
Mr.. RICE IS CHANGED MAN.
He is brilliantly sable. Under his eyes and lips
is strip Of uncovered flesh-color, which make
his mouth look enormous. "pretty creature"
with admiration. Come along, Gully, ven
sherry out and out lie goes. Ho gets very
hoarso, and shouts prcposterously at something,
aud makes the most fiendish grilnaces Of disap-
proval to some body on the other eide. There
store, their dresses are airy. aud it il none too
wsrn, eyou with the roaring fires IN the great
storos and furnaces.
are mostly young, good looking, and abnornally
developed. Ono Of them is sitting alone against
painter q palette Of nammothsize, when too near
the eye, but develops into houses, trees, and
dancinE-girls, and the visitor is introduced to
the "oporatic cantatrice" Of the party. The
"cantatrice" does not look like an operatic
yonng lady, but expresses herself pleas
evening, except for something or other which
tho visitor docs not hear, when he is pulled
from behind, and finds Mr.. llce struggling with
man about feet high and supernaturally
This is
who is turning Mr.. Rice over and applying
to him castsaton which would render standing
the most agreeable position for time. but for
q school-boy expodient Of great antiquity. The
fthetG th tsed is Ts9sng TS yonn in his o.cb strength
and seriously contemplates tossing her up to
the ceiling, but me1cifully refrains from doing
30, as Mr. Rice warns him his wife is coming
up stairs. Do Gloriau (whose name is undonbt-
gravity, and offers the lady his arm. Two
negro minstrel performers have just been con-
rulsing the audience, when Mr.. Rice pauses in
he middle of an anecdote and
NUSHEs ONTO THE STAGE.
lie looks like q sick elephant contemplated
hrongh the wrong end Of a telescope, sham
bling along in a palr of shoes ,tha: would have
isted Magog, had that person lived in modern
lines. Roa1s OF laughter greet his performan-
:es, He iB talking the widest nonsense, and
;uttlng the most unlieard-of capors, which do
lot seem at all funny from behind tho
cenos, but conyulso tho audience in front. A
occurs between the visitor and the
adics. One highly little lady, with a
ayishing fGuro which is displayed to groat ad-
antage in tights. is weeping. She is little moro |
han q child, and unsophisticated, and tells
TIE CAUSE OF HER SORROW.
The has received o ictter from bald-hcaded old |
nan in the audience. expressing eternal passion,
nd praying for an appointment. She explains, |
etweon har sobs, that he hns sought all sorts OF
means to obtain meeting, porsc- |
uted her with letters, sent women to call upon !
or, sent cards up to her at tho hotel and bou-
uots and promises With great profusion- ~
quare boz OF resin, whose use will bo presently !
xplajned "To persecute poor girl who has
o frienls!" Just then Afr. Rice ruahes off, car |
ms against her, and puts stop to any further
onversation. " Ous of thu way," saya he, with
n emplesi. on the first word which large capi-
lis would but feobly express, and in moment
be great Do Gloriau, his agile brother, and |
retty little wife trot out, make their bow, aud |
o thr-ugh their ha;r-raisins performance. The |
tito lady with the graceful igure-Bho is only |
igor, weeps and denounces, till the Lolo has
1ade her leap and given place to another ''serio-
omic." This latter is formed homeopathically, |
nd is bright and witty. She won't be made love
O., but scolds everybody who doesn't please her.
wen the manager gots stab from her saucT
he audience is laughing She is narrnting
THE MIsEnlEs OF MARRIED LIFE,
nd the gentlemen in the audience, not having |
,oir wives with them, can laugh Ill they want
oy of nonsense which is highly roiished. She |
) soon through, and gang OF stage~hands rig
p IN invisible wire for the little dame who re-
eived the offensive letter, who presently makes
Ter bow aud is loudly cheerel. She mounts the |
Firo, and goes through an enormous number of !
cats. The use of tho resinnis now apparent.
Without it, even hor Delicate sensa OF |
equilibrium would he useless. She lies
own on tho wire, executes dance,
wings, and is about to leap, when
-twang, thud,
SIZE E4S DROPPED.
A dozen people rush out from the wiugs to pick |
ler up, but Billy yolls out to them: :. Git back"
emphnsis as before and size picks herself up,
lows gracefully, and walks of tho stage, She is
cry pale in places and iimps. The audience Is e1-
tied. " Go on, 80 on" si,outs everybody, and tho
,oGr wounded little creature clcnches her teeth
nd makes q good show Of not being |
lurt, which tho audience vociferously |
heers. Yes. she has sprAlned her ankle. |
The stanchion that hold tho wire has straight
med out u:lder the strain, and hence tho fall. |
;hc wants to CRY dveaafully, and she docs cry,
Never mind, Lou" they say; and try to pot !
Ter into good nature She WILL not be comfort |
d, and leaves the stage feeling very badly in |
Iced. She will not bs SO tcnder twenty years
,o,o 1,or 1,o