The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-04-09

old Yarns-Darned stockings.

Old maids IN virginia are polltely called
.'6elated sisters F"
a marriage on a railway train may pro-
perly be termed railwayFtie. b a j.
Paper cuts are said tohave originated in
newspaper attacks. sk1A(#f "a Ff80H
The patent office has just reported favor
ably on three new kinds of corkscrews: aas
The society people OF ST. Paul have had
gay winter season-three Methodist sociables
Pot~luck- Collecting old china @
The best color for aces-Water-color.
A crack invisible to the naked eye The
crack OF a whip. s afs l.so 5.ss.s -
An evergreen-A man who does not learn
from experience. ~ea aEt aw ae
Leather, chemically considered, Is the OK
tCtoi beet. a aF 5et g.tf2#sa {
Why is an old coat like new kettle p
ecause It represents hard ware. 30
When is man like tea~kettle just on
rs boil ?-When be is going to sing
Why is mairimony Ike sterling coin p
Because 1t has genuine ring with IL.
''Great is bankruptcy" says Carlyle
cit brings au end to all shams under the
aun."
WHY Is nature like baby because here
is generally q squall wh,n its face is wash
cd. ssar
Jonn 4 Randall. Of Chenango, was recen,
~ beguiled OF . finger by deceitful tuz,
saw 5aa taa
An exchange says womsn's sphere Is mar.
fiage We never saw one yet that had any
fear about it,
Speaking OF becoming attire, what thing
Is most likely 10 become woman Why, a
little glri, OF course.
VasQuez, the CsIifornia bandit, took five
dollars from man and then bought the
mans gloves Tor two dollars. .s r..--.
When the boys in Virginia City Wish to
rsise their kites they tie the string to dogs
tail, aud make the animal run. eEs6THH
"Pm particularly uneasy on this point y
said me fly Co theyoung gent leman whost1cs
him IN the end Of needle. ###
A kind lady in Danbury recently gave y
begga' halt dozen paper collars, with the
"dvice 20 turn them and chalk the edges.
One thing, said an old topper, was never
seen coming through the rye, ard that's tn
kind OF whskey one gets nowadays, h
A Brooklyn sewing society fines any mem
Der who lakA scandal. 81 90 tor each offense.
c1Iy he wealthy are able TO attend,
do Lewis is The man who kept q Utica
andance until 10 80. explaining to them The
good results Of going to bed promptly ate.
When The Indians ca:cn a bald-hesded
man hey cut off his ears TO compensate for
<ne loss OF scalp. and it's about as well TO be-
scaiprd.
Inc rittsourg Leader prints haifits adyer-
easements upside doNn .or The accomnoda.
zion OF readers who habitualy stand on their
aeaGs. az -
l. naughty girl should hurt Won ,ika
good gIrl you would forgive her wop,dn,,
you : YES marm," she replied, I'll RI
'couldu't catch her.
Mrs. M-laprop declares that, for berse,,
aer nerves would never bear tho sboo, Il
having anything to do with the "eIec,,,caI
franchise"
Lee Da"oury philosopher observes that the
pIScidlly o: expression worn hy mo, NH
Is next" in full tarber's shop canno, -
counLerfeIted IA.
IL Is NO longer the vulgar title OF sdrunk
enneS>' but rather he polite and express
siVe title OF "dipsomania" by which the evil
10 new 10 be known
Conscience doth make towards of ma Al,
particularly OF Michigander. who on ba,na
arrested Tor larceny, promptly confessed m
burglary o'gamy. and infanticide.
N"icago man wrote TO Agassiz that na
~SS al apple which he has preserved for
~''1 y 'nfee Years, aud when Axassiz wro,e
eye. "PpAo VI LIS
uoL,, aal 5a sa4a Al AZ t
0na'i cut this loin of muttoo saddle,
WISE SSld gentleman. mo" said on. .,
Ills gueStS' ''cut it bridle-wise. for then =
may nave chance to get a h,t :.
month" IA my
Asgood work is really in progress ,mo,u
AN'n "no nave sold liquor Tor years. Ma
are gaining victories over themselves ana
~ucn victories are the grandest that can -
achieved. oe