Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-02-21
To THE GIRLS.
Advice by a Young Woman.
Susan VS. John.

An OLD LADY's ADvIcE'-'Now,
John. listen to me, for l am older
than you are, or l couldn't be your
mother. Never do you marry a
young woman, John, before you
have contrived to happen at the
house at least four times before
breakfast. You should know how
late she lies in bed in the morning.
You should take care TO surprise
her, so that you can see her in her
morning dress, and observe her oc-
cupation when she is not expecting
you. If possible, you should be
where You could plainly hear the
morning conversation between her
and her mother. If she is ill-natur-
ed and snappish to her mother, so
she will be to you, depend upon it. "
WdUerLU.
Profound, truly; particularly the
declaration that the old lady is oder
than her son, or she could't be his
mother. Good advice it may be,
but, girls, how are you to become
enlightened
Concerning JOHN?
Or are you to take it for granted
that he is all right? Perhaps you
consider it a matter of minor i'm
portance that you should know
about him before hand. Seeing him
three or four times before breakfast
will not help you, should you at
tempt to investigate. How can you
find out his disposition and habits?
How are you to know whether he
intends to support you, or whether
he has planned for you 70 gain a
livelyhood for both? Perhaps he
can almost take care of himself, and
you may help a little.
1t is generally understood that
each takes the other for better or
worse; surely neither should look
for or expect perfection Even
were it possible to obtain, who, in
their sober senses, on mature con-
sideration, would fora moment wish
it? Who could abide
A PERPETUAL REPRoACH?
Who would not willingly-nay,
gladIy-see such treasures take to
itself wings and fly away-to
Heaven?
Not, so long as Susan cannot fol
low John to his haunts, in order to
gain information IN regard to his
habits, mode of life, and various
other little items; cannot tell wheth-
er the gallant and affectionate lover
will wear the bonds matrimonial
right royalty; does not know wheth-
er the fret and worry of everyday
life will develope nobler traits and
loftier aims, orif, on the contrary,
that shall prove but dross that she
counted gold-why should Johns
mamma be so anxious for him to 90
early in the morning in order to
play the spy on S1san's movements
Why should he not take his chances
as well as she?
Now, girls, my advice is: Should
any such person show himself, on
any such errand, at your kitchen
door, at the break of day, and find
you. the very quintessence of neatness
your face covered with smiles, and
hands with biscuit dough, all things
favorable, and should he, his visage
aglow with satisfaction, signify that
"Barkis is willin'"- Or, in other
words, ask to marry him-turn your
back to him at once with
A DECIDED NO.
He will make selfish, indolent, par
simonious husband, who will in all
probability, be asking, three months
after you are married, if not sooner,
"What in the world became of that
pound of sugar 1 brought home a
month and a halt ago?" or, "What
did you do with that quarter of a
dollar l gave you last week."
He will oversee the kitchen-work,
have his fingers in every pie, and
weary you with his everlasting talk
of wastefulness and extravaganza.
In fact, such men as John make
the very worst kind of husbands;
they
TAKE TO MEANNEss NATURALLY.
Many of both sexes are deceived,
it is true; nor can it, taking human
nature into account, be otherwise.
The result is, some go through with
bowed heads, and hearts full of bit
terness; while others, if possible,
profit by the divorce laws; and 9TH
ers elope forthwith, a la tree-love;
and thus it will be so long as the
world stands. A sorry state of af-
fairs, admit; but who is to be cen
sured?
The old Serpent, or Eve? Not
Adam, of course, because ''the wo-
man gave unto me, and l did eat"
Answer the question as you may,
the facts are the same; and, if either
sex is to be deceived, disappointed,
and duped, l prefer it should be the
rougher one. They easily throw it
off; they go out into the air and sun
light land Gods blessed sunlight
causes many burdens to be more light
ly borne); they mingle with their
fellows; business matters divert their
attention; and they are usually not
so crushed there are exceptions it
is true) that they cannot enjoy their
cigar, the club-room or saloon, or, it
is just possible, the society of some
interesting lady friend, to whom
they look unutterable things, or at
least those not lawful to be uttered
under the circumstances, and sigh
asthey think of "what might have
BEEN"
But, girlsif you marry one who
proves Indifferent to you, whose hab-