The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-12-31
The Coming wife.

She's q little bit OF q woman, all pa
tience and sunshine, and I'd spoil the
best silk hat that money could buy for
the privilege of lending her nv um-
brella in rain storm.
She's married aud she's GOT an old
rhinoceros Of husband. He makes It
a practice 70 come homo tight at eleven
o'clock every other night, and has for
years, and he can't remember thet she
ever gave him a cross word about il.
When he falls into the hall she is wait
ing TO close the door and help him back
to the sitting room, where a good FIRE
awaits him. She draws of his boots,
unbuttOns bis collar, helps him of with
his coat, aud all the time she is saying:
Poor Henry how sorry I am that
you had this attack of vertigo Tn
afraid that you win be found dead by
the roadside ONE night"
Whazzer mean by velzhigo r. he
growis; but she helps him off with his
vest and pleasantly continues
I'm SO glad you got home all right.
I hope the day viii come when you can
pass more Of your time as home. It Is
dreadful how your business drives
you"
Whaz b zshness-whaz yer talking
'bout?" he replies.
"Poor one-how hot your head is r.
she continues, and presently lie breaks
down and weeps and exclaims
YeZ zur-ztc's a 'orse-wearing zelf
out fhast's csn-wisbzi was dead 7"
Next morning she never efers to the
subject, but pleasantly inquiries how he
slept, and II his mind is clear. His
boots may be missing, and he yells out:
"Whar'n thunder's nv boots =
Right here, my dear 1" she replies,
and she hands them out, all nicoly
blscked up.
Ii she wants a dress, or q hat, or a
cloak, and he yells out that household
expenses are eating him up, she never
s sasses' him back, nor tells him thst
che will wlite to her mother and tell
her just how it is.
That's so, my dear-times are hard,
she says, and she gets up just as good a
dinner as If he had left her fifty dollars.
He may come home tight at supper
time, but she il not shocked. She re-
marks that it is an unexpected pleasure
to have him home 80 early, and she pre-
tends not to notice his stupid look. he
sees three chairs where there is but
one, and in trying to sit down he strikes
the floor like the fell of derrick.
he yells, and she replies
g It's that hole in the carpet knew
you would stumble and sho helps
him up and brings him strong cup of
tea.
They do not keep a servant, and when
cold weather came she never thought of
planking herself down in a chair oppo-
site him aud saying
g Now, then, you'll get up and light
the fires or there won't be any lighted
mark that, old baldhead
No, she did't resort to any such base
and tyrannical measures. When day
light comes she slips out of bed, makes
two fires, warns his socks, and then,
bending over him, she whispers
Arise, darling, and greet the festive
morn -
He's sick sometimes, and I've known
that woman TO coax him for two straight
hours TO take the doctors medicine,
turn over his pillow twenty-five times,
kept wet cloth on his head, pare his
corn down and then wish that she had
a quail to make him some soup. When
he gets into a fight down town and
comes home with his ears bitten up and
his nose pointing TO the northeast she
inquiries how the horse happened to run
away with him, and she says she Is 50
thankful that he wasn't killed. She
has an excuse for anything, and she
never admits that anyone but herself is
to blame about anything. LOr' bless
her-I hope she'll slip into heaven and
never be asked a questiOn.-M quad.