The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-04-29

then bought the mans gloves for
two dollars.
An Irishman speaking of sui
eide, said the only way to stop it was
to make it a capital offense, punisha-
Bile with death.
"A small Brooklyn boy proposes
to call a council for the purpose OF
considering whether it is advisable
to drop his papa from the list OF his
friends.
-''If naughty girl should hurt
you, like good girl you would for
give her, wouldn't you" eyes,
marm,' she replied, IF | couldn't
catch her."
Where they 90. A Danbury
Sunday school scholar being asked
what became of men who deceive
their fellow-men, promptly explain
ed: "They 90 to Europe"
An Illinoisan wrote to Horace
Greeley several times asking him
what was good for catarrh, and final
~ Horace got out of patience and re-
piled: "Chop your d---n head off"
The Golden Globe Of Colorado
has suspended Oh account of the dis
appearance of the editor. He was
last seen standing under q tree, and
some men were pulling away on a
rope.
"A Boston man was cursing an
editor the other day when he fell
dead. Several similar instances
have been lately reported. Men
should be careful in speaking of any
thing sacred.
They were going to put man
out of San Francisco theater for
creating disturbance when voice
cried: Hes all right; he's killed a
Chinamanr' and they let the man
alone.
"A very bad little boy in Dubu-
que rubbed cayenne pepper dust all
over the back of his jacket, and then
did shamefully in school. TT e
school ma am thrashed him briskly,
but dismissed school Immediately to
run to the nearest drug store for eye
salye.
"A New York politician, in wri-
ting q letter of coincidence to the
widow of q deceased member of the
Legislature, says: II cannot tell how
panied was to hear that your hus-
band has gone to heaven. We were
bosom friends; but now we shall
never meet again
An ambitious young lady was
talking very loudly about her favor
tie authors, when q literary chap
asked her if she liked Lamb. With
u look of ineffable disgust, she an
severed that she cared little about
what she ate compared with knowl-
edge.
The Postmaster Generals dighi-
ty must have suffered the other day,
when he received a letter from Del
ia, Iowa, saying: eff you doan't git
some one to run this ere post offs
purity soon it'll be throwed in the
river, for I'm going off on bear
hunt and can't fool any mOar.'
"A lawyer who had recently mar
rel a pretty widow was mapping in
the.close air of the court room, when
the name of the lady's first husband
was mentioned by one of the bar,
causing him to awake Suddenly
Sprinsing to his feet he exclaimed:
''What! what! You can't have her!"
One of the chubby class Of four
year,old Sunday school scholars,
when talked to by his teacher about
the sins and frailties of the body was
asked: ''Weil, my son, what have
YOU besides this sinful body?"-
Quick as thought the little fellow
responded: "Aclean shirt and q nice
new pair of breehes.' -
81 thought you were born on the
LIST of April" said husband to his
wife, who had mentioned the 21st as
her birth day. That's just what
all my friends think" said the wife.
"Why are they so Unanimous on that
point?' asked her Eege lord. "On
account of my choice Of husband"
was the quiet reply. The subject
was dropped.
-'How much better hwould have
been to have shaken hands and allow
it was all mistake" said Detroit
Judge. "Then the lion andthe lamb
would have lain down together, and
l:+o r,kol oaaaa wNull h,,-o &c.