The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-08-13
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

A TUNE hold good until an organ
grinder gets hold of it.
A MISSING man with Roman nose is
advertised, but it is thought he will never
be found, as "such nose will turn
up"
A MILWAUKEE woman traded her
son for dog, and although it is poor
dog, it is thought she made a good bar
gain.
A TOURIST who was asked in what
part of Switzerland he felt the heat
most, replied, "When l was going to
Berne."
The coolest Mason" is not dying so
much as formerly, but the "oldest Odd
Fellow" is passing away quite numer-
ously.
In the dictionary of trade which fate
has reserved for embarrassed manhood,
there is no such word as fail-it is sus-
pension.
A MOTHER advised her daughter to oil
her hair, and tainted when the damsel
replied: ooh, no, ma; it spoils the
gentlemen's vests"
A PREACHER recently took for his
text: elbow old art thou?" anu a
crowd of ladies of uncertain age left the
church in high dudgeon.
HARRIET BEECHER STOWE says of
gossip that if it is not Christian grace it
certainly is one of those weeds which
show good, warm soil.
A QUAKER being asked his opinion
of phrenology, replied, Indignantly,
Friend, there can be no good in a
science that compels man to take of
his hat !"
The st. Louis Republican tells us the
strongest glass will sustain two thousand
pounds to the square inch. 1t also has
been known to twist mans leg so that
he couldn't walk.
You may talk yourself into bron-
chial affection, but you can't convince u
Vermont woman there won't be death
in the family if she dreams of seeing
hen walking picket fence.
AS so many articles in every day use
are manufactured from paper, it is now
asked if paper beelsteak can not be in
vented to take the place of the leather
ones common at boarding-houses.
A JERSEY CITY lawyer was making a
high-fown speech the other day, telling
about angels tears, weeping willows and
tombstones, when his Honor said: "COn-
fine your remarks to the dog fight"
TT is not uncommon in giving advice
to newlymarried young ladies who marry
poor young men to allude to the fact that
Eve married gardener, but they don't
say anything about the gardener
losing his situation OH account of that
match.
PROF. SMITH said in lecture in Phila-
delphia last week that "Filtration Is
sometimes assisted by the use of albu-
men," but the compositor got the re-
mark into shape in this ruinous fashion
Filtration is sometimes arrested by the
use of aldermen"
A LADY teacher in public school was
amazed, the other day, by. seeing per-
feet forest of Juvenile hands fly up in
the air, and shake and gesticulate with
violent agitation. "What doyou want %
queried the puzzled instructor. Chorus:
Yer hairs fallin' off,"
A RURAL paper observes with great
felicity of expression "These moon
light nights! All, by how many vine
empowered gates soft eyes looks love to
eyes that speak again, and the pressure
Of tiny hand in the huge masculine
paw wakes to ecstacy the living liar"
WHEN they want to find out in the
country if girl is courting or not, an
old lady steps in and remarks: say!
there amt no one sick in this here house
| -, =. Al. 4 l...l,t hur,,-
in nigh into twelve o'clock last night,
but don't smell no campfire nor moth
in round"
CHARLEY, did you ever hear it said
that if you find four-leaved clover,
and put it in your shoe, the first lady
you walk with will be your wife 2"
No-never heard of it before" swell,
I found one this morning, and you are
the first one have walked with. Won
der if it's true"