Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-06-04

As little reckt sorrows power,
| Until the fow'ry snare
O. witclling love, in luckle.. hour,
Made me the thran O care.
Wit, Hunor and Wisdom.
HEAD L1aHr-Bright eyes.
THE rescued passengers Of the Europe
were lucky to find q Greece spot left for
them.
WHEN prosperity was well mounted
she let go the bride, and soon came
tumbling out of the saddle.
IT is one of the curiosities of natural
history that horse enjoys his food
most Whenhe hasn't a bit in his mouth.
The bread of life is love the salt of
life is work; the sweetness of life,
poetry the water of life, faith.
A sCHooLBoY's aspiration-"I wish I
were fountain, that might be always
playing"
SA1BK1ss looked at a painting of
pig and pleasantly asked: "Who is
that pigment for?"
A WONDERFULLY scientific young man
has had ocular demonstration of a
sound; he has seen his bed tick.
"Do you like the piano ?" some one
asked Theophile Gautier. II prefer it
to the guillotine," was the reply of the
poet.
THE man who sang sob, breathe no
more that simple air" went into the
smoking car where it was more mixed.
A aENr1ExAN in Pottsville, Pa, has
named his dog penny" because it
was one sent to him.
OCTAVE FEEnLEr employs q poodle
to hold his book open. Isn't he afraid
of g dog ears?
To what base uses may we come at
last! Julius s. Caesar is veterinary
surgeon at Port Hope, Canada.
Nh. WILBUR F. STOREY, of the Chi
cago Times, has rented house for the
summer at Sault Ste. Marie.
TEE old saying about ;" those who go
down to the sea in ships F" has more
significance now than it used to have.
WHAT Sodom was to Lots wife, so is
the back breadtbs of one woman's dress
to another woman.
"Now, may it please your honor" said
. young Providence lawyer, don't
believe these facts are true"
FADovER tell us that Mrs. Fadover is
not sorry that little rocks the cradle of
the rebellion.
An old Scotchman of Boston used to
say, "I'm open to conviction, but I'd
like to see the man that can convince
me-"
Now that so many people are getting
married by telegraph, there ought to
be some speedier method of obtaining
divorces.
AYAxKEE wanted the Bridge of Signs
pointed out to him, and then offered to
bet America had several bridges twice
the size.
WANTED to Knoxville length of the
Rule of Three; how many days in the
March of Intellect the width of a
broad hint.
SEVERAL lawyers in Tennessee have
promised to reform, and go into the
grocery business, now that the "bars,"
are closed.
An observing man has discovered a
similarity between young ladies' sem
mary and a sugar house, as both refine
what is already sweet.
CHILD" Papa, why do SO many
churches have eagles in them for read
ing desks?" Father" Because, my
boy, the eagle is bird Of prey"
TIE world is full of men who will
cheerfully boss" a job for dollar
and half day, when five dollars a
day for actual work would not be the
slightest temptation to them.
A CARxAN is nm individual who wants
you to have your furniture all ready to
load ut seven A. n, and comes around
in the afternoon to see if you have
done it.
A GERMAN professor has worked
thirty-four years to make correct map
of the moon, and all travellers going
that route can depend upon its correct
ness.
A PASTOR Of q Congregational church
was asked if he was an independent
minister. He replied ;" Far from it;
I am the minister of an independent
congregation.
"WHAT kind of sausages is them ?"
queried an old lady of the young man
Of literature and peanuts, as he passed
through the train selling bananas.
SCOOP manners," says Swift, sis
the art Of making those easy with whom
We converse whoever makes the fewest
persons uneasy is the best bred man in
the company"
RECENT Importation please,
sur, is this dhry goods store?" Sales
man" Certainly, ma'am." Recent
Importation" Och, begorra, where'n
I be going thin for wathered silk -
A DARKEY gave the following reason
Why the colored race is superior to the
white "All men are made of clay,
and like the meerschaum pipe, are
more valuable when highly colored.'
A GREAT author has said that q perfect
dinner party is the highest product of
civilization. Simply to eat is the first
low necessity of savage life. To dine
delightfully."- is to sublimate that neces-
sity. into poetry.
A PARsoN once prefaced his sermon
with, "my friends, let us say a few
words before we begin" This is equal
to the chap who took short nap before
he went to sleep.
A STRICTLY temperate reporter of a
Connecticut paper mentions las an
exsheedingly curioush fact that man.
ufacturer Of roofing materials at West
Goshen is doing double work with a
single machine"
THE world is a looking glass, and
gives back every man the reflection of
his own face. Frown Mt it, and it will
turn and look sourly upon you; laugh
at it and with it, and it is jolly, kind
companion.
JONES says the talk about shortening
the hours of labor is all nonsense, be-
cause If the hours were shortened he
would have to take more of them to do
his work. He doesn't want to work
more hours.
HIRES no need of going across the
ocean to see Italy. You can see tho
whole thing, feas and all, in block
in the sixth ward, New York, where
about two thousand Italians have sue
ceeded in getting up AN almost un-
equaled exhibition of poverty, and
density Of population. There is more
of nature than of art about the show
howe YER.
The Hartford police have broken up
a gang of thieves who have been sys-
tematically stealing from the Hartford
and New Haven Railroad. Their plum
der has been principally pig iron, of
which they have got over 3, 900 pounds.