The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-03-27
Searching for a Woman's Pocket.

The most difficult thing to reach is a
woman's pocket. This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up in the closet,
and the man is in u hurry. We think
we are safe in saying that he always is
in hurry on such an occasion. The
owner of the dress is in the sitting room
serenely engrossed in book. Having
told him that the article which he is in
quest of is in her dress pocket in the
closet she has discharged her whole duty
in the matter and can afford to feel Sc
rene. He goes Mt the task with dim
consciousness that he has been there
before, but says nothing. On opening
the closet door and finding himself con-
fronted with number of dresses, all
turned inside out, and presenting most
formidable front, he hastens back to
ask Which dress p and being told the
brown one, and also asked if she has so
many dresses that there need be any
great effort to find the right one, he re-
turns to the closet with alacrity, and
soon has his hands ON the brown dress.
1t is inside out like the rest-a fact he
does not notice, however, until he has
made several Intellectual attempts to get
his hand into it. Then he turns it
around very carefully and passes over
the pocket several times without being
aware of it. A nervous moving of his
hands, and an appearance OF perspira-
ton on his forehead, are perceptible,
He now dives one hand in at the back.
and, feeling around, finds a place, and
proceeds to explore it, when he discov-
ers that he is following up the inside of
a lining. The nervousness increases,
also the perspiration. He witches the
dress on the hook, and suddenly the
pocket, white, plump, and exasperating,
comes to view. Then he signs the re-
lief he feels, and is mentally grateful he
did not allow himself to use any often
sive expressions. 1t is all right now.
There is the pocket in plain view-not
the inside, but the outside-and all he
has to do is to put his hand right around
in the inside and take out the article.
That is all. He can't help but smile to
think how near he was to getting mad.
Then he puts his hand around to the
other side. He does not feel the open
ing. He pushes little further-now
he has got it-he shoves the hand down,
and is very much surprised to see it APP
pear opposite his knees. He had made
mistake. He tries again again he
feels the entrance and glides down il
only to appear again as before. This
makes him open his eyes and straighten
his face. He feels of the outside of the
pocket, pincheu it curiously, lifts it up,
shakes it, and, after peering closely
about the roots of it, he says, "By
Gracious !" and commences again. He
does it calmly this time, because hurry
ing only makes matters worse. lie
holds up breadth after breadth, goes
over them carefully, gets his hand first
into lining, then into the air agar
: where it always surprises him when il
appears), and finally into pocket, ant
} is about to cry out with triumph, wher
! he discovers that it is the pocket to an
other dress. He is mad now tn,
closet air almost STILES him he is 81
; nervous he can hardly contain himself
and the pocket looks at him so exasper
atingly that he cannot help but plug
it with his clenched fist, and immedi
ately does it. Being somewhat relieved
by this performance, he has a chance t,
look about him, and sees that he ha
! put his foot througha band box and int
4 the crown of his wife's bonnet ha
broken the brim to his Panama Ina
: which wss hanging in the same closet
: and torn about yard of bugle trimming
from new cloak. AS all this troubl
1 is due directly to his wife's infatuatiol
in hanging up her dresses inside out
: he Immediately starts after her. and i'm
petuously urging her to the closet, eS
: citedly and almost prOfanely intimate
his doubts of there being a pocket i
;, the dress, anyway. The cause Of til
: unhappy disaster quietly inserts he
!. hand inside the robe, and directly bring
it forth with the sought for article i
: its clasp. He doesn't know why, bu
. this makes him madden than anythin
:. else.-Danb,Ty Meas.