The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-06-11
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

forgotten.
ALL Sorts of Paragraphs.
- Carpenters are not particular about their
food. They are used to boarding houses.
Don't marry man who gets up early.
Nothing makes person SO insutterably con-
ceited. -,
To see how eagerly human being will
catch at a straw, it is not necessary to witness
a drowning. The phenomenon is now mani
fest chiefly within saloons, where one end OF
the straw is immersed in tumbler.
Twenty-seven Nashville ladies determined
TO practice economy; vowed not to wear any
thing more expensive than calico dresses to
church; and they stuck to it, as none of them
have attended church since.
-"Who goes borrowin,' goes sorrowin'."
More often it is "the other way up" Who
goes a lendin'- too often goes sorrowin,' while
who goes borrowin' not unfrequently goes on
his way rejoicing at his dexterity.
We never respect persons who ann SIM
between those we call amusing men and those
we denominate entertaining; we laugh with
the former and reflect with the latter.
- It has been determined in Iowa that mo
true gentleman will fix a trap-gun in his corn
crib, and thus be the means of sending some
unprepared soul into eternity" but, on the
other hand, a corn-crib has certain rights which
must be respected.
- 1t was telling speech of Boundinot, the
Cherokee representative at Washington, in
which he said that this Gland of the free"
is the common heritage Of the white and black
races, while the original owner Of the soil alone
is an alien in the land Of his birth.
- The people of Alabama propose to dodge
mixed schools by the direct distribution of the
funds to parents, regardless of color. This OF
course would abolish public schools, and leave
the parents free to choose whatever private
institutions they please.
- Here is the pithiest sermon ever preached:
"Our ingress into life is naked and bare; our
progress through life is trouble and care: our
eeress out of it we know not where; but doing
we'll here, we shall do we'll there; 1 could
not tell more by preaching year."
"A gentleman speaking Of friend who
was Frustrated by illness, remarked that "he
can hardly recover, since his constitution is all
gone.' "If his constitution is all gone," said a
bvstander, "I do not see how he lives at all" "
"O," responded the wag, che lives on the by
laws"
There is nothing which so tends to shorten
the lives of old people and to ipjure their
health as the practice of sitting up late, es-
pecially Winter evenings. This is especially
the case when there is grown up daughter in
the family. We publish this item at the ear
nest request of several young men.
"A keen-witted servant girl in Troy, New
York, told the milkman the other day that he
gave his COWS too much salt. "How do you
know that?" said the milkman. "Sure I kin
tell by the milk that they dhrink too much
wather entirely said the girl. The milkman
Grove off in hurry.
"A Milwaukee paper says of literary gentle
man of that city: "The subdued light of those
mild blue orbs is indeed the slumbering fire ol
geniu.. He is also a very good young man
With the exception of a few games OF marbles
played on Sundays while boy, his life has
been without reproach."
- "What are you hallooing about, Bill 2'
said O. mother at the stair-foot, one evening
after her two boys had been put to bed
"Please, mother" said Bill, "Jem wants hall
the bed" "Well," says she, "let him have it
and you take the other half" eyes, mother,
saws Bill ''but he will have his half out of the
middle, and make me sleep on both sides o1
him."
"A little fellow, FIVE or six years old, who
had been wearing undershirts much too small
for him, was one day, after having been
washed, put into garment as much too large
for him as the other had been too small. Our
six-year old shrugged his shoulders, shook
himself, walked around and finally burst out
with: "Ma, do feel awful lonesome in this
shirt !"
We wonder that history has been so neg
ligent regarding the dress worn by Pocahontas
when saving the life of Captain John Smith.
We suppose, however, that she wore a red stuff
underskirt, bear-skin kilt, buffalo robe, cor
sage cut Pompadour, Scotch stockings and
bead slippers. She probably wore her hair
high, with feathers, pufs, and switches, pan
nier bouffant, and diamond cluster ring-in
her nose.
- darky was once attempting to steal a
goose, but dog raised an objection, and Sam
bo retired. The next night during thunder
shower he attempted it again, and just as he
was on the point of getting away with his
fowl the lightning struck close by, and the
noise nearly frightened the poor fellow to
death Dropping the goose, he started away,
muttering, "'Peers ter me der am mighty
lot of fuss made bout common goose"
1t is related of George Clark, the celebra-
ted negro minstrel, that, being examined as a
witness, he was severely interrogated by the
idence. "You are in the negro minstrel bust
ness, believe ?" enquired the lawyer. eyes,
sir" was the prompt reply. "Isn't that rather
don't know but what it is, sir?" replied the
minstrel, "but it is so much better than my
fathers that I am rather proud of it." "What
wav YOUR fathers calling 2" "He was law
yer?" replied Clark, in tone Of regret, that
IN