davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

The will of the parish minister of Cummock
instructed his executors to let the people of his
mock nave snch small tokens of remembrance of
tneir deceased pastor as they might ask for. An
oid FARMER called at the parsonage shortly after
the funeral, an when the widow had informed
INN OF her husbands DESIRE she asked Sandy
what lie would like to have. "Weel my leddy.n
said Sandy, scratching his head II hardly ken
what sort;of memento mort, as yeca it, tae haze,
bnt if We hae nae objection, l wud TAX that lump
o. guano We hae i the hack yardn
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29
Che fun of the Ching.
OLD aRANpPA's soLILooUY.



II wasn't when was young
We used plain language then
We didn't speak Of them gallOots -
When meaRin' boys men.
When speakin' Of a nice hand-write,
OF Joe. or Tom. or bill,
We did IL plain-we dilBt say,
He slings a nasty quill"
An when we seen gal we liked,
Who never failed TO please
We called her pretty. neat an good,
But not about the cheese.
Well. when we met good old friend,
We hadn't lately seen.
We greeted him, but didn't say,
Hello, you old sardine )"
The boys sometimes got mad an fit;
We spoke nf kicks an blows;
But now they -whzek him the snoOt"
Or paste him On the nose
Once. when youth was turned away
BY her he held most dear.
He walked upon his feet-but now
He walks off on his ear.
We used to dance. when was young.
An used to call il 50;
But now they don't-they only sling
The light, fantastic toe"
or DEATH we spoke in language plain,
That one did Perplex;
But in these days one doesn't die
He passes in his checks"
weprased the man Of common sense;
His judgments good, We said;
But now they say, well, that old plum
Has got level head e.
a It's rather sad. the children now
Are learnin' all sich talk:
They've learned to chin instead Of chat,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

rIREPRooF WooD.-The wood is twice painted
over with hot saturated solution of one mart of
green 'ltrioi and three parts alnm. After driving
-; aSa.n painted with weak solution of green
.,.,., ~ Mhieh pipe clay has been mixed to the
consistency OF ordinary paint. This coat il -
hewed from time to time.-F Sieberocr
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29
DR.. WHITTIER,

615 st. Charles Street, st. Louis. Mo-.
Has been bnger engaged in the special treatment Of
all Eenereai, sexual and Chronic Disease.
than any other Physician in St Louis as city papers
show.
syphilis, Gonerrhea. elect, Structure.
0rchitis, Hernia, or Rapture, all URINARY
Disease. and syphiiitie or neresriai aaee-
lions of the throat, skin or bones, are treated
with unparalleled success on latest scienthc princi-
pies.
spermaforrhea, sexual Desility and
Impcteney, the result of setEa6use in Youth
sexual excesses in maturer years or other causes
and which produce some Of the following effects:
sight defeetire memory piaples on n. fao. p6ys;eGl
decay dreroH 10 society females coRfnsiOn Of eax
Ioss y seruat poner. etc. rendering marriage Inn
Pamphlet C36 pagesl relating to the above sent in
sealed earetepe, for two postage stamps.
eases peculiar 90 women, such N men
orrhRd DusmeHOrrk1a Hea0rrhdgid Leteorrkya or
whites Chtorosis Diseases and dispaeemeats Of the
Homo Sfer,tfy. ete successfully treated. Descrip-
i've pamphlet sent sealed for two stamps. Are with
experience can be relied upon II i seffeyident that
physician treating thousands Of cases every wear
acquires great skill. Physicians knowing tbis fire.
uently-recommend persons tn NV cara Contiden.
teal consultation personally or by letter FREE and in
yIted When 1t Is inconvenient TO visit the city for
treatment medicines can be sent by express or mail
exists, u Is frankly stated. Office hours: A to7
p NJ sundays, Il N. to 1 Pm. Persons arriring IN
ae e.g az any h1tv may come direct 10 the Office fiat
The establishment "a whole house Of twelve roomsl
IL the most extensive in the country embracing Re-
eeption and Consultation rooms Boarding and Seep
ing apartments; Medicated Yapor Baths: compre-
hensive Laboratory where all medicines used in the
establishment are prepared; and most important Of
all the Library. where the old and latest standard
works Of all the schools If medicine are found also
Anatomical Plates life size and colored to life illus
trsting diseased conditions which have been procur
ed from Paris France regardless Of expense and not
TO be found in any other Library in Ii. eity- The
Library Is thrown wide open to all callers address
os aoore- novI3
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

ONE for those who use tobaocn: In a recent
number of the Medical Times we find the follow
ing: "A Young girlsuffering from severe and nm
controllable vomiting under Dr. Beanmetz's care
at the Hotel Dieu, was, after the Intellectual trial
oil several remedies, ordered to smoke cigarette
after each meal. This, so long as irs n,e ras
persisted in, seemed to check the vomiting en-.
tirely." Ct"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

,,; experienced housekeeper says that the best
'n"s ~. eieaning tinware is common soda. She
gives the following directions: asDamn.n "o
cloth, ana DIP IN soda, and rub the ware br;sIlr
after which. wipe dry. ANY blackened Vs. o.,
be made TO look as well as new ware can
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

THE drummers came down like wolves on the
fold their toes were all frosted their noses all
cold: Their weather-peeled bugles soon shone
thro' the town; they gobbled the money and
saited 1t down then took few orders and lit out
ofhere, with their heads fullof business and skins
full of beer"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

Oh one of the trips of California steamer, the
steerage passengers were so numerous as to make
1t uncomfortable. The sleeping accommodations
were aptly described by a Californian, who ap-
preached the captain and said: 81 should like TO
have sleeping berth, if you please" 'why,
where have yon been sleeping these last two.
nights since we left :" "Wa'al, I've been a sleep
ing atop OF sick man, but he's got better now,
and won't stand it any longer"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

An unfortunate at Indianapolis who lost sew
eral toes by car-wheel, was consoled by an
Irishmam near by with, "lyhisht, there, you're
with his head off,"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

"WoULD you believe the witness under oath ~
asked a lawyer. No, sir" was the reply, s.If
you should ask him the time of day, be would lie
about it-
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

DURING an examination a medical student bs
ing asked the question, when does mortitica-
ton set in :" replied when you pop the question
and are answered No."
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

To CATCH OwLs.-Set steel trap on ton of
POLE near the hen-roost, and he will certainly be
caught.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

MAN who bad a severe fall, was asked by the
surgeon, Have you spraiued yourself near the
fbulaFn
.No, sir" he answered, cit was near the mar
ket Mace"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

ToTAkE out nldew. rub thespot vsII ,r;.,
soap, (hard soap dissolved will answer the mr.
Pose), scrape chalk over it, and lay in the snn
One or two applications will prove effective
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

SOUTHERN newspaper advertises for youpp.
freckle faced man, that won't back down, with a
pair of saddle-bags pistol and bowie-knif, to col
lcct for that paper.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

rs The Colonel here ?" shouted man, stick
ing his head into Kansas City street car He
isl answered thirteen men. as tbrv rosa nm
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

rs DEN bells ringin' for fire, Tib-rins ~ aNo.
s s uey got plenty O. fire; dem bells is ringin'
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29
SAMARITAN
CJJREn,

All Chronic. Private and yenereal Diseases of h,h -
at reasonable prices Young men who are sufering g.
debility, sT rmatorThez or semnsl -aIs I"n
weak nervous exhausted feeling energy low sn;r;
mina emissions; with loss Of power imnatancx Sc
rhs s;s,1 ppH g,eet &c permanently cured
sonay or BY letter about any Of tber eosa me per
trietiT spesdy relief All private oonmnniesfions
journal Of hsa,h Enclose two stamps for illustrated
Iect1r ~ rvnereel diseases Of both sexes Also short
10 have 80 1t - book that every family ought
Ja.enh ~ Dh : A RICHMOND Up. o. Box 74IJ 81.
Hota As once on Francis Street opposite the Pacific
L sprilpyi.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

"sMoTHERED VENUS" is California dish, and
in spite of its name, it's only beefsteak aud on
ions -
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

i, GENTLY the dews are DER me stealing--as
sde man SAID when he had five due bills present.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

81 HAVE not loved hghtly"-as the man said
dred pounds. mum
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-10-29

PROPER care of our horses would obviate many
painful diseases. 10y
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

Call at Walker & Russell's and buy
pair of Swede Army Brogans-the most
comfortable shoe ever worn.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
Dedication of the Reformed Church
in Somerset.

The Reformed Church erected in tAis
place was dedicated to the service Of God
on Sunday, August 3Oth. The services
connected with this interesting occasion
commenced on Saturday evening previ
Gus. Rev. DR.. G. w. willard, Pfesi-
dent of Heidelberg College preaching
the opening sermon. The church was
well filed and presented a neat, tasty
appearance. The frescoing is well eEc
cuted, and furniture and carpets foi
which the church is indebted to the Ell
ergy and liberality by the ladies Wen
selected; the chandelier is a model ot
beauty, and when lighted shows Tie
church to the best advantage. In fac
the entire building is or. dit to thn>,
who had the supervision of the work
and TIE people who built it have ample
reason to he proud Of the work in whicI
they engaged. On Sunday the poop.
already at an early hour, from diiferci
parts of the country, and especially the
members of the charge by whose aid an
influence the house was built, moved to
ward the church, and long before TIL
time for service every part of the church
was crowded.
Rev. DIR. Willard preached the dedi
catory sermon to a large and attentiy,
audience, after which it was announce,
that debt of eight hundred dollars still
rested on the church and Il call made fo
contributions to which the congre gatio'
responded in the most liberal manner
The entire sum, and S173 in in addition
was raised in a short time. After whicl
in formal way the church was solmen
ly dedicated in the service Of God. O.
Sunday night the church was again fl.
ed when Rev. r. Willard, from Ian
caster, preached, and on Monday nigh
by special request, Austin Henry, c
Hallsville, Ross county, O.
The money that remained after Il
indebt edness was paid, with sue
amounts as the friends Of this churc
who were not present, will still contril
ute, will be used for the purchase Of
bell and organ. The church has not y
regular pastor; we expect soon to PR
cure the services Of one, when there ma
be morning and evening services e.
pected.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

wish to say TO all those desiring to
plant fruit trees this coming fail that
have the largest and best stock Of Trees
and Plants ever grown in Perry county,
my Apple and Peach consisting Of one
hundred varieties, are very fine. Pear
Plum and Cherry, large and well grown.
Also a large stock Of small fruit plants,
such as Strawberries Raspberries, Biack-
berries, Grape Vines, Sc. Call on me
at the Perry Nursery, two miles north
Of Somerset, or address me mt Somerset,
Ohio. S. NJ. LEETz, Prop'r.
Te-tf
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

Mr. Frank Bear, who resides half
mile north Of town had the misfortune
to encounter a rattlesnake few days
ago, and suffer bite at ''the hands, a7 it
were, of the reptile. But Frank killed
the snake, and IS in q fair way, also, to
survive the wound received from his
Yenomous fancs.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
Centennial
AGENTS WANTED
FOR THE
Gazetteer

y @ book has ever been published of such uni
versaI interest to the American people. 1t ap-
peais 10 no particular class alone, but TO all
classes; to men and women of ali professions,
creeds occupations and political OpiniOns--to
Farmers, Lawyers, Business Men, Mechanics,
Physicians, Politicians, Teachers, Students,
Manufacturers, statesmen, men of learning and
men who can only read, to old and young. All
want il as "A book of constant reference, and To
preserve for their children and children's chill
dren as the only complete and reliable work,
showing the gigantic results of The First One
Hundred Years of The Greatest Republic The
World Ever saw. 1t is not luxury but ne
cessitv to every well informed American citi-
zen Agents make SlOO to 800 per month
send for circnlar. zeigTer * NeCurdy, Cincin-
nati Ohio. -. -,.,.,,,,.,. ,
How either may fascinate and gain
Che love q affections Of any person they choose
Instantly This simple mental requirement all
can possess free, by mail for 25 cents, together
with marriage guide Egyptian Orucle, Drennis 5,
Hints TO Ladies. Wedding-Night Shirt, &c. A
oucer book Address r. w. WILLIAMS n co.
Publishers. Philadelphia
An elegantly hound eanvassing book for the
4 hest and cheapest family bible ever published,
Will be- sent free Of charge TO any book agent
II contains over 700 fine Scripture Illustrations.
/ and agents are meeting with unprecedented
/ success Address, stating experience, etc, and
/ we will show you what our accents are doing
! National Publishing Co, Chicago H., st Louis.
4 Mo- or Philadelphia, Pa.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

Next to the international COllegiate
Boat Race" which occurred, recently At
Saratoga, the expedition Of several prom
inent newspaper men Of this country to
the one-horse blowout in Iceland, Is the
most stupid affair Of modern times This
latter arrangement was worked up BY
yeems Gordon Bennet, The 1onnger,
and he is the man who is responsible for
all that Halstead and BayaId Taylor
have written about It.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

On Monday last, little son Of -Ar.
Isaac Weaver of this place was kicked
in the face by horse, and very severely
but. we believe, not dangerously injured
The little sufferer Is getting along as
well as could be expected.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

The Somerset Public Schools will re
open on Monday next. 1t will be greaAs
ly to the advantage Of all concerned thai
pupils be present at the beginning OF
school. Pupils who have not been ex-
amined, but yet feel themselves entitled
TO promotion, are requested to report to
the Superintendent on first day without
fail. By order of BOARD.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

I6-tf
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
AIthur's Illustrated Home Magazine,

Bright cheerful, earnest and progress
siye. the "H01fE" takes rank with the best
periodicals Of the day. 1t is that cheap
est Gr-t-class Magazine in the country,
and more thoroughly identified with the
people in their social and domestic life
than amy other.
"Pipsissiway Potts" the inimitable
delincator Of home life and character r,
has an article in every number.
Window Curtains. A new serial story
by T. S. Arthur, will be commenced in
the January number of the Home Ma
gazine.
INV Girls and l." 4 series Of pleas
ant. chatty paper, a sensible and good, to
[ be commenced in the January number.
Butterick's newest patterns for ladies'
and childrcu's dresses are given by spe-
] cial arrangement every month. BY
/ means of these patterns, every woman
/ NAV now be her own drcss-maker.
The Great Household Magazine OF
America gives more reading for the price
and greater variety, suited to every
member of the family, Young and old
han any other magazine Published.
10 cents viii procure a specimen cops
IF "Arthur's illustrated Home Maga
line" Send for one.
T. :. A AETTTR ~ SON,
Philadelphia, Pa
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

The Republican State convention con-
vened at Columbus on the I'd inst. and
nominated the following ticket: Secre-
tary Of State, Capt. a. T. WykoG; School
Commissioner, Hon. T. ". Harvey for
Member Of tie Board Of Public Works,
s R. Hosmer; for Superior Judge, LII
ther Day; Supreme Judge, short term,
w. w. johnson; for Clerk Of Supreme
Court. Rodney Foos
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

We were pleased to meet at our Office
this morning, oar friend Mr.. Harrs
Hupp, the wei known stock dealer o
Thorn township. Mr.. II. Is continualls
"on the wing" fgliratively speaking, i
search Of stock, and few other persons il
the county engaged in the same b'lsi
ness, are more freqaenly successful i
gathering car loaasof stock or who mos
generally manage tpmake good thing
Of their investment
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
SELLERS OF REAL ESTATE

OUR connections with other Real Estate
~ Agents is very extensive, and aided by our
advertising arrangements, gives us splendid op-
portunities for buying and selling property.
We will do all in our power to secure purcha-
sers and having found them we will assist them
in getting what they want, with just the kind
of title they want.
We offer for sale the following property:
270 acres of first class farming and grazing
lard, with good buildings, plenty of water and
lumber, also an abundance of good fruit; miles
south east of Somerset, Ohio, and on very rea-
sonable terms
167 acres 2miIes south of Somerset, Ohio, in
very good repair good soil, 100 acres cleared,
balance in the best of timber, all well fenced,
good springs and about 1900 fruit trees; truly n
good farm at a low price and easy payments.
16 acres of land in Thorn township Perry coun-
ty, Ohio; a very neat IL story house good fruit.
some timber, and every thing in the best of
pair; a fine little home for some one cheap
800 acres of first class prairie land in O'Brien
county, Iowa, will sell cheaper trade for small
farm in Ohio, or town property.
10 acres of land with good improvements,
good soil, plenty of choice fruit and good soft
| water, adjoining the corporation oi Somerset
Ohio. Will positively sell cheap.
! desirable property situate in the city Of
| Circleville Pickaway county. Ohio, consisting
of a dwelling house in very good repair contain
| cistern, necessary out buildings, well set with
fruit trees, in healthy locality and quiet neigh
borhood.
Also a vacant lot situate in said city and in the
same locality as the above said lott Is nicely stu
| ated for building in good neigh ghborhood. These
| properties will be sold on reasonable terms.
| August 8. 1873. v1n17
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
SOn1eEe&@ o.
On Tuesday, Wednesday. TaHTsla.
and Friday. October Ctk. .th, 81
aud 9th, 1874.
Wanted

As am anxious topurchaze property
near the Tubic Square, I viii sell my
residence on North Columbus street, on
reasonable terms. New house, good sta-
bic, smobe-house, ci7tern, and all other
couvenienccs. ] have also a second hand
buggy as good as new for s1le-chaap.
20 II. G. GREINER.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

It costs money 70 furnish Runners with hor-
ses and buggies which added 70 the commissions
paid them makes large item and the buyer hos
TO pay Il. There IL no getting around this fact
although the runner Qeazerl vehementy pro-
tests that HE will sell cheaper than any body
else, and just here comes IN the secret Of u e
transaction which very few understand, to~Wit;
The market prices Of Foreign and American Mar
bles vary from twenty 70 fifty per cent, being
graded as No. ], 2, 3, average and Common
Now when 8 runner hndH II necessary 70 sell
very cheap, and although he pr0mifes the beft,
still when the work Is being done the different
grades Of stock viii be used according az tie
with his want Of experience cannot detect tie
1 found the best and at the lowest rates, aud II
4 be lowered accordingly, but mind you, the dif-
not be made 10 believe that you are getting tl q
| best instead Of the cheaper kind. In buying
marble work Il is very important that ynu
be suited. II Is not an article 20 be cast aside IL
not liked, and II not suited you viii always re-
/ gret it. Place no conhdC nee IN tomb stone bum-
mers who make themselves 50 offensive by ier-
/ ging and teazing you 10 buy of them They
will promise you anything and every rything 20 in-
i duce you 20 buy.
| BY visiting our works you viii save money
/ and also get job that will give you satisfaction
I in ALL respects. II inconvenient 20 conc and
see us, drop us line whom you are ready O. luv,
and we Will call on you with our design and
/ give you prices By doing this you caunot lose
/ anything but you may gain considerable.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

Our friend, Mr.. Jesse c. Currau,
who, for several weeks past, has been en-
gagged at Baltimore, Md, in investigat
ing the large claim in that city Of the
Chilcote heirs. On account Of the dis
organized condition of the Office Of The
Commissioner of Patents, which is AZ
present undergoing extensive repairs,
and which will not be completed forsev-
eral weeks, he has suspended his investi-
CATION until the work of overhauling the
Office is completed. In the meantime
he viii be pleased to hear from such Of
those who may be inquiring after the
claim.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

A pretty Wisconsin girl rides into La
Crosse on steer, sells her butter, buys
her groceries, and car ters out with q
whoo-oopl which has won the heart OF
every young mar town.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04
oc1L AND MISCELLANEOUS.
= o. r. r. straitSviIIe Division

An interesting letter from our Balti-
more correspondent, WAS accidentally
omitted from this issue OF the PREss. Ii
will appear in our next.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

MARRIED.-On the 27th Of August, by
Rev. G. w. Hoyman, at his residence.
Mr.. Christ. 3. Eyman, to Miss Sallie r.
hartman, both of the vicinity Of New
Salem, Fairfield county, Ohio.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-09-04

On last saturday, the. Bon Tons "-
New Lexington played the Somerset nine
a friendly game of base ball on the
grounds Of the latter at Somerset Score
27 to "a in favor Of the Bon Tons. Thi-
considering tie little practice the som
erset club has had was a very well con
tested game, the Somerset boys doina
some very fine playing. They will play
return game at New Lexington in q
couple of weeks. SPECTATOR.