The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-10-30
acIssoRrNaa.

neif-made men are very apt u fyal
ship their maker
If you see policeman aim az tadas
rytoget near the dog.
Nothing comes home so much Ia
man as an unsettled bill.
Tbs highest compliment toa ha
ber--He dyed and made no sign.
No unfortunate trader looks I'll
down in the mouth as dentist.
Our faith in human nature has baat
restored-Susan B. says she diar
Grayityi is no more evidence Of w.
dom than paper collar is Of a shi
Ticklingia mules left hind log VITA
tooth-pick is said to be a sure or
for dyspepsia.
The New Orleans Times puts .At
scandal under the head OF sportin
matters. Timel
Eight Connecticut lyonng ladit
have Just taken the veil. They wsre
hoPelessly freckled
Those who have tried it say tAst
kissing is like d sewing machine, bo
cause it seems good.
Erred, how is your sweethcsr.
"Pretty well, | guess; she says ]
needn't call any more"
Two American bnllfrogs constitaie
the roaring attraction at present u
the Zoo Gardens at Paris.
Bayard Taylor intimatea that y
found a deaIto interest him in the Fa.
roe Islands--N x. Com. Adc,
Theyare disputihg about GoldsU (,
Maids time. Is she willing to leave
it to an Investigating Committee!
They now say that Bozarris did,
"cheer his bandD at all, but hid in
corn field as soon as the fight begau
The woman who writes the ~
dresses Other letters "cntticornsse,l
is the especial tormentor Of post-ofI so
clerks. sat
They have a minister in Mound CITY
Kan, who attracts people to his prsy
er meeting by the music Of bvsaa
band.
A man who in talking to lady lays
his hand upon her shoulder may be
thought to be too touching in his re
marks.
A man in San Francisco recen,y
wrote to another, asking him for h,s
wife, without SO much as enclosing .
postage stamp.
misrepresentation of the Press
is Dom Piatt's phrase for hotel dea
heads, and very good phrase it is n
Boston Globe.
A young man in Frisco embezzlea
q diamond to pay his tailoi bill. Tail
ors are at liberty to cut this out anG
send it to their customers.
We see il announced by posters Oh
the streets that "Seltzer's Aperieni
But they don't say whether it is a boy
or q girl,-Harttord Post.
Don't try TO be too smart. A mar
lately deceased) in Camlllus, N. \
put d second cartridge into his canncp
before the first had exploded,
An Alabama editor winds up n-
editorial on the corn crop with the 20
mark, ave have on exhibition III Ous
sanclum pair Of magnificent ears.
Barnum has written to this city for
newspaper man reported to hayo
lost "a, ,0O0. He would like to have
him in museum. Chicago Journal
TencHer-"Peter, you are such q
bad boy that you are not fit to sit IN
the company Of good bays on the
bench. Come up here and sit by ME,
slr.n ~
Tho reason why Sylyanus Cobb, Jr.,
confines himself to writing for the pc
riodicals is because the legitimate
function OF Cobb is to produce CO.
real.
A person was boosting ho was from
high family. Yes said bystnnd-
s;,b Sa, ,h,';s I'M" soS, 49, So,;r5 ~, | .anes
,,s. ,ha aronnJ r ~ y 80
Wv e
nov y sne tlme % Wnen' ING irses-
ponslo'e uronln l s'ues', tne house nous ny
wings tosether ana walEeth nun
against llme around ei the nose OF MS
Sleeping grahu.iatner. y
A Kansas farmer solomnly declares
that grasshopper sat on the gate
post and threatingly asked; William
anee 81 that cold meatYn
0wou Rri,jos, 70 annr.oo ,,or
shall wan, Won 10 81 stay = at LoSs Ss yy ywhsr.