The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-07-24
MIR. WATKINS FIREWORKS-p.
TRIOTISM RdLEED

Mn. n FIhE ok Pr
TRIOTLSA BALKED.
MI. Watkins is a gentle old man
living on Ninth avenue. He believes
in Fourth of July, in long-winded
orations, and especially in having fire.
works in the evening. He has nc.
children, but the neighbors have them
by the square acre, and it was generally
understood in that ~neighborhood that
MIR. Watkins was going to give the
children a treat Saturday night. He
laid in ga pile" of rockets, Roman
candles, fre-wheels and so on. and
rugged up a post and had everything
ready against the coming of night.
When darkness fell, and the glorious
day of liberty was skuIking away into.
%obscurity, Mr.. Watkins yard was filed
with expectant neighbors and their
children. They sat ON the stoop, on
the fence. and were three deep on the
grass. The hour came, and Mr.. Wat
kins' prepared to u%nloose the fre-fend.
If he had v seen any fireworks.
touched off he had forgotten how they
did it, but his ignorance didn't weigh Oh
his shoulders like a grindstone. He
took out a ~sky-rocket, a boy showed
him how to set it up and where to ignite.
it. and away she went, striking plump
against the house opposite. The owner
of the house, who had been on a steam
boat excursion and had his watch stolen.
leaned over his gate, and said that he
could, and had a good mind to, knock
Mr.. Watkins into eighteen fragments,
but the boys Kissed him into the house.
The next rocket was more of a success
1t went straight up, and tine stick came
down on the baby's head and produced
a grand jubilee chorus. They took the.
baby home, and the next rocket was
balanced with care. 1t started to rise,
fell to one side, and went into a house
where a red-headed young man sat
squeezing the hand of a cross-eyed
girl. 1t bobbed around awhile, and
then leaped ont of the window, and
the red-headed young man nearly
twisted off a letter-box in trying to
sound a fire alarm.
Then Mr.. Watkins selected a mild
eyed boy to go on with the remnant of
the display. The rest of the rockets
went knocking around the neighboring
roofs and chimneys, and the fiery ser
penis chased everybody over the fence.
MIR. Watkins ran out to say that they
must be careful, when a Roman candle
commenced shooting at him. His hat.
was knocked off. his hair singed, and
as he cried Good land :" and jumped
through the gate, a FIRE ball hit him in
the back and took q foot of cloth out Of
his Sunday coat. More boys offered
their services, and, despite the pro-
testations of the good old man, they
decided on having a grand "whoop de
grease" as a wind-up. Two of them
touched off the rockets, while the rest
danced around the road with the
Roman candles, and Mr.. Watkins cried
"Good land !" again, and said he'd
give 80 to see a policeman. He stuck
his head out of the bay-window and a
rocket grazed his nose. Women ran,
men shouted, and children whooped,
and six punches of tire-crackers on the
stoop went off like the roar of musketry
at Gettysburg. The last rocket hit the
corner of the house and glanced and
struck a fat man in the back, who
leaned against the fence and said that
he was nortally wounded, but that be-
fore lie expired he was going to drink
enough human gore to make Il second
Lake Detroit Free Press.