Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-03-05
GRANGE SECRETS REVEALED.
How Enitia tiOns are Conducted.

gives Jlc lOllOWlng dCCOuHt vi VIC
grangers' initiatory ceremony:
On being brought into the ante
room of the lodge (Greengrocer TEN
pie, No. 1Ol.) I was told that I had
been balloted for and accepted. My
informant, who was securely masked,
by what I afterwards learned was a
large burdock leaf, perforated with
holes for the eyes, told me if valued
my life it would be necessary for me
to strip. AS I did consider that Of
considerable Importance to me, and as
he italicized his wishes by carelessly
playing with a seven-shooter, / with
drew from my garments with eager.
ness. My masked friend then furn-
ished me with the regalia of the first
degree-caled "The Festive Plough
boy"-which consisted merely Of one
large cabbage leaf attached to q waist
band of potato vines. In this airy
costume | was conducted to the door,
where my companion gave three dis
tinct raps. q was securely blindfolded
by bidding slice of rutabaga over
each eye.) A sepulchral voice from
within asked: "Who comes s?"
My guide answered: "a youthful
agriculturist who desires to become a
granger
Sepulchral Voicc-Have you look
ed him carefully over?
Guide-I have, noble gate keeper.
S. V.-Do you find any agricultural
marks about his person?
Guide-I do.
S. V.-What are they?
Guide-The" candidate has carroty
hair, reddish whiskers, and turnup
nose.
S. Wits well. Why do you de-
sire to become a granger?
Guide-(answering for candidate)
THAT / may be thereby the better
enabled to harrow up the feelings of
the raScal'y politicians.
s. V.-You will bring in the can
didate. My worthy stripping, as you
cannot see, I will cause you to feel
that you are received at the door on
the three points ola pitcbfork, pierc-
ing the region of the stomach, which is
to teach you the three great virtues
faith, hope and charity. Faith in
yourself, hope for cheaper farm ma
chinery, and charity for the lightning
rod peddlor You will now be har-
messed, and in representation Of the
horse Pegasus, will be tested as to en-
duranca and wind.
The candidate is here attached to a
small imitation plow, by means of a
hempen harness. A dried punkin-
vine is put in his mouth for bit and
bridle-he is made to get down upon
all fours, the guide seizes the bride.
and urged on by granger armed with
a Canada thistle, which he vigorously
applies at the terminus of the spine,
the candidate is gal'opped three times
around the room. While making the
circuit the members lise and sing:
Get up and dust you bully boy
Who wouldn't lie granger
If the thistles prick don't cause You joy,
To feeling you must be estrauged ali
After this violent exercise he is rub
bed dry with corn-cobs, beeswaxed
where thistled, and brought standing
up before the great chief-the most
worshipful pumpkin head
M. w. P. H,-Why do you desire
to be granger?
Candidate-(answering forIhimselD
That / may learn to extinguish
sewing machine agents.
M. w. P. H.-Have your hands
been hardened with toll?
Candiaate-Not extensively, but
then / am not running for office.
M. W. p. H.-'Tis well, for our
lodges contain several who are sup
posed to be ready to sacrifice them
selves for the good of their constitu-
ents. Do you feel pretty smart this
evening?
Candidate-"Yes, where the hustle
goes on.
M. w. P. H.-(savagely)-Glve
me a chaw of tobacker!
Candidate, searching himself
thoroughly, but as there is no place
about him to stick a pocket, tries to
but the most worhipful
interrupts him with:
''Never mind, my dear young friend
Il am well aware that in your pre-
sent condition, you can no more furn-
ish your friends with the weed ttan
Adam could be comfortable in plug
a.. 1 IA