, 1874-01-25

But nm serve God through Love alone"
Richard Henry stoddard,
HUMoR.
VERY. re,v blonde hair is now called "the light
fantastic tow"
A Captain remarked that his steernge pas
sengars ought be very well-behaved, they had
so much deck-oer-em.
Don't Quaker ever take off his hat to
anv one mammal" No, my dear" II he
don't take OF his hat to q barber. how does ho
have his hair cut ?"
The old-Murder will out The new-nur-
derers will out.
when was beef-tea first mentioned in his
tory? When King Henry VIII. dissolved the
Out in Montana, when they start man down
hill in barrel, they speak OF his appearance
in new role.
An embryo poet, who is certainly close OBJ
server OF human nature. remarks: .. lime
marches on with the slow. measured tread OF q
man working by the day.
-Dobson aays his friends seem determined to
givo him the title of DR.. His butcher, baker,
and all the rest, do 60, but they put DR.. after
his name instead Of before it,
How can they expect to be satisfied with the
appointments in Canada whom the Queen her
self put Duffer in 8?
a suspicious wife, on being asked where her
husband was, replied that she Was very much
afraid he Was Missing.
-f0Btal CATQB ats lukQ SAEu EcAC1oi
use that letter-carriers and landladle8 have all
they can do to keep up.
-Broker-.'How are you of for money this
morning." Cashier-''I an OF with what Little
there Is IL the bank. Goodbye"
What is the difference between mans as
scrtion and 1runkard's departure? One is an
ipse dixit and the other tipsy exit.
The creditors Of m absconding Yankee found,
on opering his snfe. that the only thing he had
laid up for rainy day was an umbrella.
The following question is respectfully nd
sits in the gallery Of The church is responsible
for deeds done in the body?
Young 1ady-"0h, am so glad you like
birds; which kind do you admire most 7" Old
Squad" Well, I think the goose, with plenty of
stu11ing, is about as good as my"
There is E preparation for coloring ladies'
gums beautiful and delicate pink, aud the re-
suit is song that is popular among confidential
friends, Gum, oh gum with me-"
1t isn't always bcet to call things by their
right ua1les A young gentleman called q coach
dog DaImatian hound, and was informed by
his funcee that II he could not refrain from pro-
family in her presence they must henceforth be
-Dch4strai your voice scolding your chill
dren. Tie little wretches won't appreciate your
sacrifice
-'' Hoosier Sweethearts. Indianapolis Sen-
tinel. None OF your business, old impertinence.
Cincinnati Times.
-ouilp and bis wife had . bit Of contention
the other day. ~ own that you have more
The better Judgment" "Yes," said Quilp,
4'your choice in marriage shows that" Quilp
WAS informed that be was brute.
-s.That's just the sort Of umbrella that
people appropriation in other words hook"
said Smgsies to companion this morning,
eyes, quietly said his companion, ~ thought
30 when saw you hare it,"
A young lady OF Lyons, Iowa, recently said:
''6ome men are always talking about pasrouiz-
ing their own town-always harping on that
duty-and yet they, &, abroad to get married,
while here We all stand waiting do hope that
some Of these men who marry Eastern women
will get cheated !" ...
a wresched cynic writes: IA bright little
5-year-old was looking through d pictu1e-book
gazed eagerly into her mothers face, and, whilo
there shone in her eyes the light OF wisdom be-
yond hor years. said.[biamed il We haven't for
gotten what she sad]."
-'sBIood is thicker than water" "What is
the matter, De Mowbray? You scem sad and
Low? It's the anniversary OF = sad event in our
family Young Aubrey dc Mowbray "a younger
sou, but true Dc Mowbrny) fell this day, By the
hand of q low-born Saxon, at tbs battle Of Has,
tiugs!" de Mowbray weeps.),
There is nothing quite SO exhausting to 3
village newspaper man as to write up compG-
mentary notice Of local exhibition, IN which
there are thirteen performers who design send
ing copies Of the paper to their friends.-Dan-
bury Ne,rs
philosopher, 1n experienced man OF the world,
a profound thinker, and An ucute observer, with
a deep insight into buman nature, has left on
record the expression OF his firm conviction that
no man, however gifted, however fortunate in
his domestic rclatione, however successful in
+ f,r1a r{oIi ha 11rHn
happy-who5e trousers bag at the knees.-
Punch.
-Ae1andre Dumas used to tell the following
anecdote: Being one evening at the San Carlo,
Naples, he entered into conversation with
stranger Bitting in the stall next to him. I
hope said the latter at tho close Of the per-
form8nce, that We may havo the pleasure OF
meeting again-l am Alexandra Dumas" "Oh,
indeed !" replied the celebrated novelist, with
bis gay laugh, $50 am L. The stranger col
lapsed.
in Detroit Police Court recently, when
man Was about TO be tried for assault aud bat
terry, he brought forward his boy, 10 years old,
as witness. The Justice asked the lad if he
knew the nature Of An oath, and the boy said his
father had explained it. ''That did he say 2"
..that it I didn't Bwear that the other fellow
struck first. he'd tan the whole hide of my
back" He wasn't used On the stand.
Not long since 3 very nervous lady took
passage st the Tip-Top House, White Mountains,
10 descend by the almost perpendicular railroad.
Her fea,s vera apparent to every one, aud the
following dialogue teak place between her and
the conductor: Lady-Mr. Conductor, how do
YOU hold these CARS when you want to make
stop: Conductor-Madame, We apply the brake,
which you see there. Lady-Suppose, Mr. Con-
ductor. that brake should give way. what would
you do thenf Observation-Disclosures, we then
apply the doub1e-act!ng brake, which you see at
tic other end of the cars. Lady-But, Ar. Con
ducto1 suppose that brake should not be suih-
to check the cars, where will we so then? Con-
ductor-Madame, that depends entirely upon
hou rnn haze liyef il, this world. The old lady