, 1874-06-21
HUMOR,

down.
1t must have been after night when til. devil
catered the gardeu Of Edou, he cane Atar
Ere.
As appropriate to the season, Tolsdo
woman ulnzzlod her husband to keep him from
hsaing the chambermaid.
Why is grass lks penl1life? Because tho
spring brings out tue blades.
~, -1ne article chiefly sold ut most fancy fairs
The visitor.
ID gentleman late ono evening mat his ser;
yant- '' Halo! where are you going at this time
| Of the night ? for no good, warrant" IL WAS
going for you, siI, was the reply.
Latest from France, BY private cable. "The
Int success-over the Left"
The secret out: Graves, the mllkman, hur-
ried away from tic Mill Rivcr Hood for fear the
water might get into his milk-cans. Tho first
"A New Bedford paper tells story about =
ahop-keeper, who advised lady customer to buy
two mohair switches lasscad Of one, ~ tbs mr.
dcle was becoming scarce. He said that the
man whom lie hlled to hunt NOES had only
caught two within fortnight.
1t is sometimes the privilege OF tho loyor to
be, at one aud the same time, in two situaslons-
When beside bis mistress Ae may also bo besida
himself.
A Liverpool womau to shield her husband,
who was charged with removing the end OF her
nose swora that ahe bit it oil herself.
IA Ge0rgA negro who bet 5lQ that Gen
Washington commanded the Federals at bull
Bun, handed the money ofer with the remark:
Swell, dis yeze hist'ry busiuess is ali mixed up,
anyway"
A Neyads lady rocently took unfair advan-
tage OF her husbands unusual indulgence IN
bath to efopa With another man, and the be
reared one expresses the conviction that ahe had
been awaiting the opportunity for months. F..
| Mr. Rode1ick shot Mr.. Graves iu Nashville
last week because he wonld not pay his Dhl1-
allow Like its father it iA." exclaimed tha
nurse, on the occasion Of the christening Of
baby whose father WAS oYer 10, aud had married
4 young uife. Very likely" replied sarcastic
la1iy; ''lt hasn't 8 tooth iu its head-"
Why should magistrate bo very cold
Because be represents iust~1ce-
Another eure indication OF the approach OF
the cro4uet season-ladies ordering gnaters
couple OF sizes too email for them.
When member OF the Boston Common
Council talks too long the bored hand him . cad
inscribed Hire hall II
Tho collecting Of m infamous dog-tax in
Sioux City has compelled one poor man to tAke
his children cut Of school that they may 60 to
work and earn money to pay the lnw's e1actlons.
"A Michigan paper Barcastically remarks that
=" A few of tne Marquette ladies observed Deco
| ration Day last Saturday. Their efforts, how
| ever, we're all confined to their own persona"
Tho Worcester Press speaks Of O contempo-
rary RHO hires small boy to como in at inter-
yals with step-ladda1 aud dust OF the tops Of
| his ears-
-Une Of our fashionable yonths donned his
first silk bat ana cigar Saturday evening. Ho
got along we'll enough with the cigaE, but be had
to give up the hat-it made him SICK at Iha
stomach.
--Bohemians rendezvous "Meot ms By
moonlight loan is all that I ask OF thee"
"a What comes after I" asked teacher OF
pupil who was learning the alphabet Ho re-
ceiyod the bewildering reply: .sYou do-to SEQ
Liza"
TIN not much for shsump- -spakin'," de-
clared candidate at Dubuuuo. .'but for honesty
and CAPACITY and integrity. I bate the diyil-so
do"
AT recent meeting of a society composed OF
men from the Emerald Lie, q mcuiber matlo tho
thar Wa whitewx ash the ceiling green in harnor OF
the ovid dag"
A lady demonstrated with her husband On
har being left to herself good deal. and she
quoted By1ons words-'' Happiness Tas born a
twin" "Yey, dear" replied the husband, !" but
not q samese twin"
-Accorf,jnp tn the Cornell Tines five nafaaos
are pratticiug rowing at that University, TheJ
ought to beat any crew in tho world, for At tht
sta2t thew have gone five uiles-each mlss beng
1Wsbstor'e Dictionary contains over 30, ,Q04
words, Jones says that when hc came home lau
tho other night in tho space Of fifteen minutes
his wife applied them ali to him, including som+
extra ones, aud the ii1s-abovel, Good for Mrs
Jonesl
A miss. upon whose aaxen curls the suns OF
fourteen summers had shed their feryor. came
homa the Other sftarnoon. weep,ng AZ If her heart
would break. and meeting a playnlate. exclaimed
in a naroYyrm of c1ief 40 Doro. We were an:
vared TO be married. and Clarler's rot ths
mea4]est"
An o,d 1.dv +, 1ras.achusetts. being In
formal that n lam obore the y;ll.gn ,ghere sht
lived wax Liable to rive Tay. Immediately wished
1or ns,r NJ cie.n White stockings. snying In ex-
n!anation th.t aho once naw vcu1an struggling
n the waters md that ,hn fioated feet upward'
The Hochester Chronicle says Lucy Bropv
doesn't balieye that ladies' ought to change their
nsmes % merelv because " thew NARY. LucY mar
red r'I chap named Blackwell, sud ont Of eomp!i-
tako both their names and will be- called Stone
Raokweil and il one Of ,cm shouId mnrry
Erown-Heauard. md fheir children shonld rnnr.
ry- Stop amoment. nv SON. Take breath,
it-A lecturer on out1cs. IN e.plsininc the ,us
chan;sno ~ thn oro.n - v,rnn rcmarkod.
s:I.et .nv man gaz, sjo.efv ;nto b;s rrifa's ~
and he ,r;,i scs him.sif ioot;no a. a-cea1nr11
a1a s.iI ~ t.. oe Iar. ~ ~ xn. ~
5.n,ral, su"I hv .hon.a ~ .,.t tuo n1 nn,.rsa
-n;.,, erosiod ~ 1iU. ~. sr;ea,;a
"n'cn gase'ea nla @ sesennnc , femalh. h O.,
Ua Wo,na,sn nnse m 700 mash % %pagsag . sa'a :. an. m
tafnet "olseley 20 an otncer durlnF the a az
tuQQ m8nenTFEa EMO or tHfea ye41H ago. 4UC