St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-08-14
Artemus Ward.
HOW HE CAME TO WRITE HIS FIRST
"wAX FIGGER" LETTER.

'.wAX FIGGER" LETTER.
The following letter was written to
the Washington Chronicle by Mr.. n. A
GRAY, who was associated with Ward
on the Cleveland Plaindealcr, the pa
per to which a. w. addressed his first
famous letter about the .'show bust
ness"
As meteor startlcs lis with its brief
but brilliant blaze flying through the
heavens in the gloom of night, so the
humoriSt Browne (Artemus Ward) burst
upon the plodding world with his I'M
rivaled glow of health, provoking mirth,
soon. 10y the fiat of fate. to he followed
10y the other extreme-grief at his pre-
maturcly early exit.
There is Il characteristic chapter in
his advent vet unwritten, which only
can give. and which propose to give,
suggested by statement from Dom
Piatt. alludc to the circumstances
under which his first Ward letter waS
written. and the point he aimed ut.
The health of my brother, j. W. Gray.
having failed. was called to his edi-
torial chair. and thus became associated
Plaindcaler.
Soon after being thus associated with
him. Il lively discussion arose between
us. which WAS Il prelude to that initia-
tive first letter. in which. to Use fig
urc. he aimed ut big game aimed well.
and brought il handsomely down. but
the crowd waS 50 charmed with the re-
port of his piece that no one ever SAW
! the game he haggcd.
This WAS Il source of infinitely great
cr amusement to Mr.. Browne than was
| his letter to the people. and as paper
after paper came in from day to day
with his letter copied. and his point
utterly ignored in the editorial com
mcntS. "Artcmus" went wild over the
more c"mical idea that he had com
| plctcly hid his subject under the ridicu-
lnus rags he had clothed him in "nl~ -
ornaments. and what H. iidu intended
aS keen. sharp point waS wholly lost.
! He ut once decided to hide the game
and accept the plauditS awarded him.
for IL hit he had no idea of making. and
never, in amy subsequent letter. did he
even alludc t" the lost point.
| This is its history.
| We entered the office about the same
time on one very stormy morning.
The winds did blow a. if they'd blow their
! The rattling rain came pouring thick and fast"
After looking thoughtfully for Il few
moments out into the storm. he turned
and said
"Dcac"n. what can have for sell
Sation item to-day. for there must he
something t" arrest attention every
day p
"WcI. Charley. you are the Local :
go ont and hunt one up.
No. sir. not if the court understand
herself. and she think she do. I'll make
one"
"What ont of imagination alone.
without regard to truth p
''Ccrtainly, What has truth to do
with getting up interesting reading
matter. besides. this paper lays down
the items. and the facts have got to
come Ia the programme. DO You sup
pose Dickens. the writer of the age.
/ follows facts. OF cares for Il fact at all
| Do Nou believe that Ellen. the Lady of
the Lake. really had dog. Lufra Do
you believe Esquire Bunyan knew Il
clever chap CPhilD who waucd through
Il mudhnlc, and saW two lions living
down in the road DO You think Mr..
Millions squad got sort of hip-lock on
Esquire Lucifcr. and tumblcd him over
Il prrSScd-brick wall ? If so. great is
| your faith. Deacon. No. sir. Tell Your
story 81 us to clucilatc character, illus
tratc Il principle. adorn Il tale. or make
Il point. and never mind about actual
TRANSACTIONS. What did it matter wheth-
er old Prod killed Il fatted calf, or a
kid. or Il capon9 Parental joy and for
| glvencss were illustrated by old Prod,
and young Prod made fine showing
of Il wildcats farmer retiring from bust
ness satisfied"
AT this point turned to my desk and
Charley sat moodily down to his.
by the time my thoughts were well
engaged i'll my ''leader' heard Char
ley i'll his peculiar way showing that
his whole soul WIS absorbed in the de
velopment of something rich and racy.
He would drive his breath out. making
Il kissing noise, like that made by an
engineer testing his boiler; then, halt
ing for Il moment, would hiss forth the
half-suppreSScd laugh and this he
would keep up till his idea was on pa
per, beyond loss, utterly regardless of
surroundings.
turned and said: "Charley, you've
got him now"
But during such time nothing could
arrest his attention, not even the crv
of fire, i'll my opinion, till he had his
conception down just to suit him; then
he would spring up, and woe to chairs,
tables or anything else that came in
his way. He would twirl on his heel.
and ten to one but he would haul me
over backward, if not on NV guard.
Till the tension Cf his mind was relax
ed he made lively work. In this case.
if there was elemental lowering outside.
there was mental sunshine within.
"Well, Charley, what is it? Have
you struck lie rr
81 am going" said he, ''to ridicuIe
the independence of any press that has
job office connected with it, for news
paper 'putfs' are based more on money
than merit, if not altogether on money.
or It's equivalent in some way. am
gong to get up Il letter as from IL wan
derlng illiteratc 'cuss' Snowman, whose
whole establishment would cost about
Sl3 ~, all told. have seen lust such
chap, named Ward, up in Lucas coun
ty, so that my letter will come nearer
being founded Oh fact as fictitious