The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1874-05-21

The greatest pleasure l know is to do
4 good act by stealth, and have it found
out.
party of men are digging for gold at
Bird dgeport. They've struck rich vein
of quartz-but it's quarts of water.
The following is the latest epitaph:
Here lies inferred Priscilla Bird,
Who sang on earth till sixty-two,
Now, up on high, above the sky,
No doubt she sings like sixty, too.
Texas Judges are accommodating fell
lows. One OF them who had fined man
$500 took $50 mule and called it
square.
An Indiana father shot six times at
supposed burglar, and was astonished to
hear the fellow ask, "Whazzer mazzer,
fazzer Whazzer doing p
1t is rule of etiquette in Arkansas
that no true gentleman will eat with his
leg thrown over the back of his neigh
bor's chair if be can help it.
Are blacksmiths, who are making
living by forging, or carpenters, who do
little counter-fitting, any worse than
men who sell iron and steel for living?
Butler will be fifty-six years old next
anniversary of his birth day of national
fasting and prayer excites much enthu-
siasm.
Inscription on tombstone in Colum-
bia, Tenn: Escaped the bullets of the
enemy to be assassinated by a cowardly
pup-a kind husband. an affectionate
father.
A Delaware man committed suicide
simply because some one left a basket
and baby on his front step. He was
afraid his wife would object to step-chil-
dren.
Twenty-one freshmen were lately sus-
pended from an English collie ge because
a professor couldn't find out who placed
ten-ounce tack in his chair He, how
ever, knew all about who sat down on it.
Kansas judges are either very generous
or else they have very little dignity. One
of them was called ''Old Skillet-legs" by
lawyer, and he only imposed fine of
seven shillings for the contempt of court
The other evening at Washing gton,
Wendell Phillips and "Hangman" Foote
diued together. Before the war Foote
offered bounty of $4,000 for the scalp
of any abolitionists caught in Mississippi.
A little boy carrying home some eggs
from the grocery, dropped them Did
you break any?' asked his mother, wher
he told her of it. NO" said the little
fellow, "but the shells came off some of
| 'em."
A gentleman was complimenting a
pretty young lady in the presence of his
wife. "It's lucky | did not meet Miss
Hopkins before ! married you, my dear ="
We'll, yes, it is extremely-for her."
was the dry rejoinder.
1t is pleasant to see young creature
come into a horse-car, seat herself for
admiration, look happy for five minutes,
and then wake up to the dismal con-
sciousness that there is rip in the mid
die finger of her right glove.
The pupils of girls school in Pitts
burg, out for their daily promenade
were recently mistaken for an approach
ing band of temperance reformers, and
their appearance was the signal for
general closing of the saloons.
The quickest way we know of to make
a man believe there's is nothing in the
world worth living for is to excite him
into chasing cat across a yard where
two or three clctheslines are innocently
swaying in the evening breeze
breakfast for ninety-nine," said a
waiter to verdant clerk at a hotel not
long ago
Thunder" said the clerk; "We can't
do it."
The waiter explained that ninety-nine
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