Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-08-20
MY FOOLISH FINGERS.
BY UNCLE ALBERT.

i The fingers on one of my hands had a
quarrel the other day; at least, | dreamed
they did, and that's just as well. 1t seems
/ they thought was asleep, and took the
chance to pitch into one another.
/ The first ] noticed of ii there was a
| general commotion, and the middle and
| ring fingers were pushing each other
very spitefully Each OF them wanted all
| the room.
| Now you Just stand aside" said Mr..
| Middle I'm the longest and the big
| gest, and have the best right here.
You are always sticking yourself up and
! getting in the way. I'll have you under
stand that the middle of the hand is all
mine, and if you know when it's good for
| you, you'll keep away"
AT this Mrs Ring was so indignant that
she could not speak, and MIR. Fore
Finger, jumping up in great Hurry,
shouted:
mo, you don't, either, you insolent fel-
| low, Mrs Ring and | run down into
the middle just as much as you do, and,
putting us together, we occupy more Of
| the middle than you do. If you don't
behave yourself we will take you in
hand together and give you such a
| thrashing as you never had. You are a
great overgrown lubbcr, good for moth
| ing but to get in the way of better peo-
pie"
At this Mr.. Fore stretched himself up
| as high as he could beside his neighbor,
while Mr.. Middle looked down on him
with great contempt, and said sneer-
ingly: .
| "Out upon you'll You are so much of
nobody that | never think of you ex
cept when | want to touch Thumb for
| some great business, and then there you
are laundering around in the way"
! " Humph" retorted Mr.. Fore, pretty
talk, indeed Mrs Ring and have been
| in love these years, and we can't enjoy
each others company for you and your
impudence.n
Here these two drew back as if pre-
pairing for fight. In doing SO Mr.. Mid
die crowded Mrs. Ring SO that she cried
/ out:
"You are pretty fellows, to be sure. /
abhor you both wouldn't condescend
to associate with either of you. Haven't
| always worn the wedding-ring because
| am directly connected with the heart?
heard my owner reading about it to
day, and now do you suppose I'll have
anything to do with either of you low
bred fellows? / just wish you would
| fight SO as to pull each other out by the
roots, and then I'd be clear of you and
have it all to myself, the only proper
way for lady OF my blood and next to
| the hearth
AT this speech Miss Little Finger quiz
cred all over as she fairly screamed:
81 guess there's somebody in the world
beside you, Mrs. Ring. You are the
meanest, most conceited thing | ever
saw. There is no getting along with you,
you put on so many silly airs just because
some Ounce used to think you were closer
connected to the heart than the rest of
us. I'll have you understand I've just
as much to do with the heart as you.
And more than that, Pm nicer and pref
tier than you. You are too big for a
lady. I'm just as graceful and nice as
can be. Everybody admires me. They
stick the wedding ring on you just be-
cause you are so homely as to need some
thing to make you passable. I'm hand
some enough without it,"
BY this time each of the four fingers
was mad at all the other three and stood
off as much by itself as it could, looking
funny enough. / don't know that they
ever would have come together again in
the world If it had not been for Mr..
Thumb. He stood up very stiff and
dignifed and said in deep bass voice,
very slowly and with good deal of a
sneer:
"Well, well, you are four of the shall
lowest fools / ever saw. Got up regu.
lar family fight about nothing I've half
a mind to give you all good drubbing.
I'd like to know what any one of you
would do alone. You'd cut "a pretty
figure wouldn't you, Topping around in
the air with nobody to lean on?"
Shut upp they all cried together,
seeming to forget their differences in
common opposition to Uncle Thumb.
Shut up. You've no business meddling
in our affairs. You don't belong to our
family. You are not finger at all, but
a thumb. Nature set you away off by
yourself because you are not fit to be in
good company, you short, clumsy old
stump, your
All right" said Uncle Thumb, coolly;
"Tm glad don't belong to your family
if you keep up this kind of rumpus all
the time. Pm an old bachelor and can
| get along alone-shove my own way
through the world. But / guess you'd
all wish me back if was gone you seem
TO make good deal of me, any way"
| Now it seemed to me that the best way
to stop this quarrel for good was to let
each one of the very independent folks
/ try to do some common thing alone. So
! told my thumb to pick up pin. The
| fingers all agreed they wouldn't help
him, but would see how he made out
alone. Thumb made dive at the pin in
his clumsy style, but instead of picking
it up he Knocked il out of the window.
He hung down his head and all the
fingers pointed themselves at him scorn-
fully.
"Now," said I, "Mr. Thumb has failed;
suppose Mr.. Middle tries it. He did,
but could only roll the pin around. So
they all tried, but none could pick il UP.
You are pretty set of independent
people" said /, and not one of you can
pick up pin alone! Now, Thumb, you
stand aside and let them try it altogeth.
err So they tried, and such trial OF
course they could do IL easy enough all
together; but they scrambled tins way
and that, twisted and twirled, bumped
and jumped, and got so much mixed up
with il that they hardly knew them
selves
Now" said Middle to Fore, "you