The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-08-29
VARIETY.
Geneva 1873

There IL one town in Connecticut that is not
afraid of the measles. It's Haddam.
Collins Grayes, who rode 40 fast down the Mill
River Valley TO warn the people of approaching
danger, is said to be the first milkman who ever
ran away from water.
St Louis papers record the death of young
child who ate some concentrated I've" 1t was
very cuIpabIe IN the child's mother to leave the
city journals around in so careless a manner
Piftsbtrg Commercial.
IIair-cutter (who has been eating onions)-
S'moil on your hair, sir? Glowing hercely down
customers neck). CustOmer-Phew what's
that Hair-cutter-S'moil, sir. Customer
Then won't have any.
Time il constantly rolling on and producing
Innovations but in Missouri alter lapse of sixty
YEAR,, the Old familiar pOtatO-masher is still
wOman's favOrite weapon when a family jar
c3rs.-D Detroit Free Press.
OF course the Norristown editor. in writing on
the W hite House wedding, used the word " aus
piciousIy,' but the cUmpOsitor knew better, and
made him say ''F Few honeymOOns ever began
more suspieiOusly."
The Detroit Free Press tells of country editor
IN Michigan who some time ago entered circus
ut the head Ofn procession of tHenty-nine per-
sons all dead-heads, and the COtfTieT-JOurRal
thinks - he must have felt that it the proud
est day of his life
a
says that - the Buckeye girl hirts desperately
down 10 the proposal Then she accepts, or she
refuses ID the young man Is turned out like
empty ass, to shade his cars and Craze in Com
mons.
There is a Judge in Nevada who refuses to
listen 70 argument from n shotgun. His plea is
that il scatters, whereas 4 deringer goes straight
to the point %, he admits, does a bowie but
he thinks six-shOOter Is apt TO reyolSe round
the question at issue.
A lamentcd citizen Of Montana whose passion
fer horses led him out 10 the end Of convenient
bOugh, and whose ultimate views Of life
taken through slIP-nOOse, declared IL to be his
conviction (Which was Unanimously that this
world i all hempte show.
The women at salt Lake City have petitioned
for a PrOhibitOry law. Ii wife and six children
may be made wretched by drunken husband,
how much greater must be the aggregate suffer
ngs Of six wives and sixty children, all belonging
to one reckless reyeler?
MAKING MERRY WITH THE DEcALOGUE.-This Is
what we learn from the ClsGUelGnd FOice -
Westsider, who keeps n general store, in descant-
ing the completeness Of his stock says he tries
TO keep everything in creation hut the ten COM
mandmeuts, and ne would keep them but nobody
else keeps them, and he don't want to appear
eccentric
The very smartest woman has at last been dis
covered. She lives in New Hampshire, is ninety
three years old and on q recent Saturday evening
vigorously spanked assortment of her descend
ants as follows: One child, seventeen
grandchildren. twenty-five great-grandchildren
and one great-grea t-grandchild. Next
The OIL MAN.-A Nashville man of our, who
has Just been married and gone into housekeep-
ing, mentions, incidentally and uncomplainingly
the following few of his wifes relations that com
prise his % family: His wife's mother, three
sisters seven step-sisters, two widowed aunts,
their four babies three maiden aunts, three cous-
ms two nieces, oae grandmother, two grandaunts
and an adopted female infant-and he is the only
man in the house Fancy midnight alarm of
Ere in that dOmicile.