American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-03-28
The Better Side of the Story.


difficulties between married people. Then
turn TO the correspondence, and some
husband complains of the extravaganza
| of women, of the leniency of the law in
giving women so many privileges of
property denied to men, or some poor,
subdued wife ventilates her opinion on
the tyranny of men in general, or the
fearful injustice of the law in regard to
| wives and their right in their own
| children. Perhaps some bachelor or
| ancient maiden utters a grOwl at the fet-
tiers of matrimony, and declares how
much better and wiser it is to remain
single.
The newspaper columns are mediums
of complaints, grumbles and abuses; but
whoever represents to the public that
large class-in fact, the majority-of
conrented married people, who trouble
not themselves about the law, except in
a general wav, because the law of their
households is love, which "casteth out
fear" and never say Nine" and
"Thlne," and "What l have done for
you and "What you have done for me-"
l am proud to own that belong to this
class. and l audaciously claim to repre-
sent at least two birds of the households
living in the pleasant. shady streets ION
the Hill" or the elegant broom stone rows
"on the Heights;" the houses from
which the sunny, happy little children
come whom you meet going to school in
the morning, and from which you get a
delightful odor of good dinners, and a
glimpse of a warm, shiny dining-room as
You pass toward evening.
Our young men and maidens, with
thoughts of ma,rimOny and each other
naturally lurking in their brains, and
pleny of newspapers to read at home,
conclude that it is all a farce, and the
only way to be happy and independent
is never to marry, and thus escape those
dreadful letters.
Not long since I read a letter-in the
G,aphic, | think-from a Bachelor
who claimed to have solved this whole
problem. | can just see him clustering
around while he tells how he and another
fellow hired a nice house, furnished it
comfortably, got respectable house
keeper who did not see too sharp. and
who understood her business; how they
had their meals fault, ssly served, buttons
all right, and how they took their night
keys, came in any hour they chose, and
no one said word. This he called com
fort
Brother, let me tell my experience.
We my John and I-are close in the
neic hborhood of our crystal wedding day.
We have three or four children, all boys,
which is pity. Now, l honestly do not
think John is perfect, and L never heard
of his saying that | was. In temperament
we are not alike. John is one of your
punctual, accurate men, intelligent Tor |
shouldn't have married him), kind hearted
and loving Tor he wouldn't have married
mel not very demOnsfrative, and no one
but his wife, l sometimes think, knows
how much he does feel. Now, | am en-
thusiasiic; if like a Thing, people in the
house generally know il, and, If l want to
do any, hing, there isn't much peace till l
accomplish it. l have sometimes wished
that John would not be so non-committal,
and would not look SO horror stricken
when l make mistake or forget some
thing And l know he thinks (he's told
me SOY that if would be more moderate
and not tear around so, things would be
pleasanter But for all that, | wouldn't
change Johns faults for any other mans
PROJECTIONS, and | never heard him be-
wall his lot; at any rate, he does not d it
in the papers. l shall have to confess
that we did try to make each other over
at first, but We gave that up before We
reached our wooden wedding.
We have tried SO long to please each
other that somehow now we seem to
have the same tastes, enjoy the same
pleasures, and suffer at the same sorrows.
do not say that we never differ. and
never part in the morning with a shade
of something unreconciled between us.
But YOU never saw two such miserable
wretches in your life when such is the
case, or two such happy beings when the
thing is made up.
About that nightkey. Bless your
heart, John don't want to go out evenings
alone. l cannot get him our. Here is
our bright coal-fire; here are our boys.
with their young life and their school
projects; here are books, slippers,
cigars Che is little particular about
smoke in the curtains HIMSELF, and no
one to scOld him. Really, now, he does
not care to be out half the night.
Sometimes we take a fancy to hear
Nilsson, or something nice at the Acad-
envy; and how do we dog Why, we put
our night-key in our pocket (pantaloOns,
of course), go where we like, come home
any hour of the night we choose, and
who's afraid?
Oh. We have had many rare treat,
John and l, all by ourselves. As to ex-
travagance if ever want something ex-
ira good, a silk dress or carpet, l take
John with me, for men have a way of
spending money for a good thing with an
abandon which takes a wOmans breath
clean away. Doesn't he want his wife to
look as well as the next mans wife, to be
sure? l know the state of Johns affairs
as well as he, and, when we have to be
economical, it is as much my interest to
go without the silk dress as his, and
can do it and still be happy.
l could write a book about John and l
but this is enough, | know, for thousands
of husbands and wives to say, That's
true"
Sad cases there are of unhappiness and
uncongeniality, and they always come to
the surface. But does any one believe
that all we married people are grooming
under our bonds and looking about for
easy divorces? To most of us the thought
of the time that shall surely come "when
one shall be taken and the other left
makes the heart stand still.
Does any one believe that all the little
children who go dancing to school every
morning come from unhappy homes?
No, they go with their mothers loving
kiss still warm on their lips, and the
happy, proud glance of their father linger-
ing about them as he straps their books
and says good by After they are gone,
do the father and mother sulk and quar-
rel? Not a bit of it
There is a lirtle talk about the morning
news, a good-by kiss, very likely dis
cussion about which it shall be, roast beef
or chicken, for dinner, and with iDjunc-
tions to Come home early" and " Don't
tire Yourself all out sewing" they each
go about their work with hymn OF
thanksgiving in their hearts. You don't
believe all this, Mr.. Bachelor? You say
it is fancy sketch. Well, 1t is true,
whether you believe il or not l know,
and you don't. l have been there
Now, when are added to this love and
congeniality a true Christian sympathy,
a working together in benevolent dreds,
searching after the truth side by side,
saw, my growing friend, do you know
ANYTHING this side of Heaven more rest