The Portland daily press., 1874-07-28
Munchausen without Braces.

IL you could have known Farley Doble you
would have warmed up TO that mani AS for
me, adored him. He could so sweetly and
SO broadly lie; the mendacity ripped from
his lips With such liquid flow, falling with
SO musical pash spread out amongst the
hard Realities with an encroachment SO gen.
tie, and rose above the tops of the tallest facts
with such regularity CT superscensicn-that
listening to him was almost as good as a finn
eral. The fellows Imagination took a five
barred fact like bird; and as for mere prob
abilities he simply burst through them With
out ever so much as blinking his ewes. Sncb
a man does not come once in centprvi He
told me this, one day, about dog:
A Mrs. Turk, living near Lear ,,inoton has
one of those small, smooth d.ogs about the
size OF two-and-a-half ra'ss, and in figure
something IKE morse. sure L don't
know what you call them. She was sur
prised oAe DAY 10 see the creature sneakng
about the house in obscure corners, as if yery
much asharaed of ITSELF Examination re,
yea led tde lack of tail, the bleeding stump
OIL which looked as if the missing part had
oeen pinched Oft by gate. Being ques.
TONED, the little beast gave an evasive an
swer by violently convulsing the whole hind
er part of its body as if to uo00 t;0 wtte can
wag without it.'' The lady, however, insti-
tuted rigorous search for the honorable
member. and soon found it under crcum-
stances that left no doubt as to the cause of
the injury. The animal had made an unlaw-
ful Intrusion into the kitchen, and in the alb
sence of the tuteary deitess had leaped atop
OF q table to prey upon the obsolete fcomesti-
bles fron the dining-room. In turning about
amongst the dishes it had unluckily got its
tail into lobster salad!
asked Mr.. Doble afterward why he had
not said the dog got its tail into the claw of a
living lobster. He was quite thoughtful for
moment, then inquired if Holsters could
live any considerable time out of the water.
and being assured that nothing was easier for
them, frightened up a bit, and said, "The
fact is, L feared i'll related the thing as it ac-
tually occurred, your ignorance of The habits
OF Holsters might lead you to suspect me of
lying" That was characteristic; he thought
l would deem it less improbable that a lob
ster salad should pinch off dogs tail than
that there should be a living lobster on a
kitchen table,
He came to my house once with long
story about man who, in trying a new-fan-
ged scythe, cut off both legs at the thighs.
The accident occurred in a field at some dis
tance from the mans house, and when he
was quite alone; but taking a leg under each
arm, he started across the country for home,
In surmounting fence he accidentally
dropped the legs, which at once cut away as
fast as they could, arriving at the house a
quarter of an hour before him. The mans
wife was enjoying her SiestG when the legs
put in an appearance and began kicking at
the door for admittance. Very much an
noyec, the woman got up hom her couch
and searched for missile. Nothing offering
but her husbands bootjack, she flung that
out of the window at her disturbers; and
when the man arrived, what should he see
hut laO standing in itc ho
jack, holding it down for the other to draw
Off its boot! Such is the force of habit. The
spectacle reminded the man that he had
walked all that distance across the stuble
barefooted.
You will hardly believe that when he had
finished this ridiculous tale Mr.. Doble attrib.
uted my evident incredulity to mere caprice,
being quite UNCONSCIOUS of any inherent i'm
probability in what he had related. But far
from being offended he went on for full
hour, varying and embelishing the fiction,
in the friendly hope of suiting me somehow.
1t was Dohle who told me that yarn about
the eels; though perhaps you never heard it..
81 was spending the winter in Scotland,'
said he, with my friend Sandy MacSimple-
ton, and one day we agreed day . ns1lIug
in Loeb Porridge, which was frozen to
depth of nearly two feet. This lake at that
time contained but one kind of fish called
Jumpers, from their obesity. They were
peculiar in shade, about eighteen inches in
girth in the middle, and tapering rapidly to-
ward the head, which was remarkably small,
with a sharp nose. When we were about to
go upon the ice 1 casually remarked that we
should probably catch some fine eels, as it
seemed a good day for eels. Sandy looked
astonished, and offered to lay ten sovereigns
to shilling that there was not an eel in the
lake. booked the bet; then going out to
the ice we cut big hole and dropped in our
lines. OF course we caught nothing but
Jumpers. Sandy began 10 chaf me, and pre-
tending annoyance l took my tackle and
went to another spot, where soon pulled out
an eel as long as man, and sent 1t whlrling
across the ice to Sandy's feet. l never saw a
man so surprised; but when had repeated
this dozen times, and he had critically ex-
amined every eel, he simply put up his tackle
and went home without word. 1t was very
sim pie; instead of cutting a block out of the
ice L had secretly bored hole through with
augur of the size that wanted my eels.
''Having more than needed, put most
of them back in the water, and now the lake
is full OF eels, which have quite exterminated
the Jumpers. The eels are called 'lampreys,'
a word which hints feebly at their origin"
Another OF Doble's fish stories was this. He
was travelling once in remote corner of
Italy, when he came upon wide pool of
Wnat looked Ike liquid amber; or bass ale
without its toga. lie inspected the liquid and
found it oil-whether cod liver oil, hair-oil or
petroleum he could not determine. DESTROYS
of knowing all he could about so remarkable
lake-not that he was unfamiliar with such
he got out his fishing line, baited the hook
with bit of meat, cast il in and pulled out
fine herringi Iu half an hour he had landed
a wagon-load of them.
When Doble had got to that poiut in his
narrative interrupted him with the simple
remark that the herring being a saltwater
! fish, could NOT possibly exist in oil, adding to
torestall argument, that had tried them in
that clement thousand times. lie gave a
| quick furtive glance at my face from the
corner of his eye, TO assure himself there was
no hope, then began cropping nervously with
his hands about the sides OF his chair, as was
his manner when co-nered; and, finally, get
Ting bis idea, replied with perfect confidence
] tXa0 are nuito riOht--fhpy ,xrarn cor.lfr,oe -