The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-08-27
IHuDlOr,

The best method OF constructing a dam
Without an " H."
The man who went to sleep on railroad
track found his rest was good deal broken
and his leg, too.
care their any fools in this town ?"
asked stranger of a newsboy yesterday.
81 don't know" replied the boy, " are yon
lonesome?"
Since New York housekeepers got to
sprinkling pies with croton oil and leaving
them around loose, servant girls have given
up evening lunches.
The guardians of the peace at Column
bus, o., are so Jealous in the discharge of
their duties that they take no note of per-
sonal mishaps, for it is seriously stated that
one police officer there had his trousers
stolen from him recently, while he was on
duty.
An unhappy husband in Pennsylvania,
who plunged a knife into his abdomen, and
forced it to the hilt by jamming the han
of energy which would have made his for.
tune in the patent.medicine business.
Awkward !-"O, Edith, won't you kiss
DR.. MCluskie ?" " I'm so shy, mamma !.
You kiss him flrst?"
An Iowa editor recently announced that
certain patron of his was "thieving as
usual II was written thriving.
An hour passed on--the Turk awoke.
He had been sleeping in front of a grocery
in Cairo, and as he got up he pulled a re-
volver and wounded three men, saying .
Somehow, I don't feel lively to-day"
"Who asked if yer wanted anything? I"
said Lowell peddler to a lady who said
that she did not as soon as she opened the
door. "Mind yer peezness, and don't re
fuse to buy till you are asked.
A Pennsylvania boy got SO homesick that
he walked 10 miles. without eating, in
order to sit down once mole at the family
hearth-stone. He was received with such
warmth by his male parent that it was
several days before he could sit down any
where.
Sing Sing Official" If you have any
trade, prisoner, state it, and we will put you
to work at it," Prisoner Gust entered)-
Well, boss, | was brung up bartender,
and I'd like TO go to work at that
When Napoleon was small boy and
was asked whether he could tell what ma
tionality he was of, he Indignantly replied
"Of Corsican." When Chang and Eng
was small boy he was asked If he was a
NATIVE VI olaul, anu he Indignantly re-
piled " OF course SIAM"
Z" What brought you to prison, my col
ored friend " said Yankee to niger.
1.-TWO constables, sah. Yes but |
mean had intemperance anything to dc
with it ?" Yes, sab dey was bOf. OF
EN- drunk"
Notes of the storm stall come in. A
visitor from Louisville was struck by the
wind, and as he fled up Wisconsin street
with his ears unfurled, Il gentleman re
marked :" knew that the wind woult
fetch the circus-tent. - Hl,coukeo Senti
na
Mamma 80 Johnny what are you doing t?
Johnny-"O, I'm just cutting up this sui
for rags; | want to be poor child, and &C
down the harbor on an excursion.
The women cleaned the saloons out o
Urbana, o., and now rattlesnakes, that fol
fifty years have been unknown, infest thu
place to that extent that not a man dare
stir abroad without his bottle of whisky
as an antidote against the apprehendet
poison.
A West Side man dropped a huge water
melon Just as he reached his gate with it
Yesterday, 4" Never mind, it may save yol
doctors BILL" was the consolatory obser
walton of passer-by.
The Philadelphia Ledger doesn't writ
any obituary poetry outside of Philadel
phia. This 10 the style in which It men
lions the death of small boy OF Lowell