Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-07-22
General Items.

General Items.
SCOTLAND suffers from drought.
JANIN was once foolish enough to
speculate in coal NINE He had no
chance to say good buy to it, either.
The colored gentry at Long Branch
are much pleased with ':the white
element of the population" this season.
"CARBoL1o acid plentifully sprink-
led III room will drive out the
flies" And the occupants, two.
A GENTLEMAN late one evening met his
servant. "Hello where are you going
at this time Of night? for no good, I
warrant II was going for you, sir"
was the reply. .'..>..~
"IM glad that this coffee don't owe
me anything" said Brown, boarder,
at the breakfast table. Why?" said
Smith. because I don't believe it
would ever settle.'
SAM, why don't you talk to your
master, and tell him to lay up treasures
in Heaven p "What's de use of lay
ing up treasures up dare? He never
see um again"
A CREMATION epitaph:
Sarah Amanda was her name .
She lived and died without SANDER:
" Had she survived the funeral flame
She would have been a Sal Amanda
In Springfield, Ohio, there is fes-
tive hen who laid her eggs up in an
apple tree, and is now setting on bare
bough In blissful ignorance that her
eggs went to grass as fast as she laid
| 'em. 10 -.
WHEN Michigan woman was taken
from the cowcatcher of a locomotive,
upon which she had been caught and
carried half mile, she said with feel
ing, 81 was jest scopped up like gosh
almighty, wasn't I %
A MONSTER black snake measuring
eleven feet in length, was shot lately
at Bedington, Pa, by Mr.. August
Gerlie, while out on a cunning expedi-
ton, accompanied by bis dog, who had
fearful tussel with the reptile.
A TEMPERANCE orator has figured it.
and arrives at this result: GA file of
topers, seventy five miles in length,
marching steadily to drrlnkards' graves
at the rate of three minute, or one
every twenty seconds, all the year
round"
A NEW slate quarry has been unearth-
ed at Littletown, Me- How this new
slate, suggests the Boston Transcript,
which is said to be promising, will
affect state politics and the senatorial
elections remains open to conjecture.
I ONE evening, after long and weary
march over the desert 'Mahomet and
his followers pitched their tents for the
night. Said one of the tired men
81 will loose my camel and commit it
to God. - His master overheard it and
said. g Friend, tie thy camel, and
commit 1t to God" sep sa
THERE are at present ffty-eigh
tobacco factories in Richmond, Va.
working on full time, and employing
on an average about one hundred
hands each. Of cigar manufactures
there are forty-four in operation in
Richmond, but the number of hands
employed bears no comparison with
those III the tobacco factories.
JOSH BILLINGS says: ''Herrings in
habit the sea generally; but those
who inhabit the grocery always taste
to me as though they had been fatted
on salt They want deal of freshen-
ing before they're eaten, and also
afterward. If [ kin have plenty of
herring for breakfast, [ generally make
the other two meals out of water ?''
A MAN whose house was struck by
lightning, shocking his wife to such an
extent that she lost her speech, subse-
quently desired to rent the house to
friend, remarking that lightning never
strikes twice IN the same place. ''Ah"
said the friend, "and that's the very
reason why don't want your house."
The Albany Journal says: 'There
is another big streak of light in the
South Carolina mirk. In spite of all
the thieying and robbing and organ
lied anarchy, the number of schools in
the state ran up within four years
from 624 to 1919, and of school chill
dren from 10000 to nearly 1900.
There is an encouragement and hope
in these figures"
A SMALL boy approached the great
Snowman Barnum, in Montepelier,
the other day, and asked him what he
would give for cherry colored cat.
"Ten dollars, replied Barnum, g if it
is really cherry colored." Soon the
boy returned to Barnum's hotel
and unloaded black cat at Barnum's
feet. The Snowman saw the point
and paid the youngster S1O,with the
remark, "Boy you've stolen my trade"
JUDGE WHITE gives us an evangelical
story OF the first water. One OF has
students WAS convert at a protracted
meeting, but not finding the. peace ne
hoped from his conversion, he waited
on his minister, and Informed him OF
his backsliding condition. Your heart
is hardened by your profession sol
EMMY said the man Of God "Quattheo
law Office; retire on your knees to your
study, and be brought out either a
I Christian or corpse.