Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-08-28
A DI Y Il NIAGARA.
BY MARK TWAIN

Niagara Falls is one of the finest
structures in the known world. /
have been visiting this tavorite water
ing place recently for the first time,
and was well pleased. n gentleman
who was with me said it was custom
AIRY to lie disappointed III the Falls,
but that subsequent visits were sure
to set that right. lie said j! was so
with him. lie said tie first time he
went the hack fares were SO much
higher than the Falls, that the Falls
appeared insignificant. But that is
al regulated now. The hackmen
have been tanned, named, and pla-
cardcd, and blackguardcd, and
brought into subsection to the law,
and doscd with moral principles till
they arc rs meek as missionaries.
They are .,ivide,! into two clans, now
til. Regulars, now the Privateers, and
they employ their idle time III
warning the public against each other.
The Regulars are under the hotel
banners, and 90 the legitimate at two
dollars an hour, a.sl he Privatecrs
proyl darkly OIL neutral ground, and
pick off stragglers at half price. But
there are no, more outrages and extor
tons. That sort Of a thing cured
itself. 1t made the Falls unpopular
by getting into the newspapers; and
whenever a public evil achieves that
sort Of success for itself its days are
numbered. 1t became apparent that
either the Falls had to be discontin-
uct!, or the hackmen had to s'lbside.
They could not dam the Falls, SO
they did the hackmen. One can be
comfortable and happy there now.
l drank up most of the American
Falls before learned that the waters
were not considered medicinal. Why
arc people left in ignorance that way +!
| might have gone on and ruined
fine property, merely for want OF a
little trifling information. And yet
the sources Of information at Niagara
Falls are not meagre. You are some
times in doubt there about what you
ought to Go, but you are seldom i'll
doubt about what you must not 10.
No, the signs keep you posted. Ii an
infant can read, that infant is meas
urably safe at Niagara Falls. In your
room at the hotel You will find your
course marked out for you in the
most convenient way, by means of
placards Oh the wall like these:
"Pull the bell-rope gently, but don't
jerk"
"BOlt your door,"
ssTm d of the gas when you retire.
tsTic mp your dog
"If YOU place your boots outside the
door they will be BACKED, but the
house will not he responsible tor their
return.
This is confusing and tanglesome
proposition, because it moves y0u 10
deliberate long and painfully as to
whether it will really be any object
to have your boots blacked unless
they are returned.
..Giye your key to the omnibus
driver, if you forget aud carry 1t OF
with you"
Outside the hotel. wherever yon
wander, you are intelligently assisted
by signs. You cannot come to grief
as long as you are in right mind. But
the difficulty is to stay in your right
mind with SO much instruction to
keep track of. For instance:
s.Keep off the grass
s.DOn't climb the trees
"Hands off the vegetables"
"Don't hitch your horses to the
uVisit the Cave Of the Winds"
"Have your portraits taken IN your
II, ,:s :.
1Forty per cent: in gold levied on
al, ,eannts or other Indian curiOsi-
ties purchased in Canada.
aPhotoerapLs q the Falls taken
here" ..a a.