The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-05-28

THoREAU sagaciously remarks that
"the one modern improvement most
needed is better style of men and wo-
men,"
A MAN who has lived next door to a
shool-house for ten years, says he can see
no sense in calling any one "a gentleman
and scholar" tf
A GENTLEMAN received a telegram from
friend, and handed it to his wife.
Dear me-" she remarked, chow badly
Mr.. Jones writes"
A CAUTIOUS reporter, in speaking of a
man both of whose legs were cut off by a
railroad train, says "he will probably be
cripple for life."
A PHYSICIAN was badly hurt the other
day by the caving in of we'll upon him.
He should have attended to the sick and
let the well alone.
The San Francisco sea captain who
traded the ships bible for thirteen plugs
of tobacco, is spoken of very severely by
the religious press of that city.
EDITING a paper is like carrying an
umbrella on a windy day. Every body
thinks he could manage it better than
the one who has hold of the handle.
A WESTERN paper says of the air, in
its relations to man, 1t kisses and blesses
him, but will not obey him." Blobbs
says that description suits his wife exactly.
AN embryo poet, who is certainly a
close observer of human nature, remarks /:
"Time marches OH with the slow, meas
ured tread of man working by the day."
CoURTING receives fresh impetus from
the advent of maple sugar. Twenty-Five
cents worth of maple sugar will go fur
Their than two dollars worth of candies.
"MoLLY," said farmer to his dairy
maid, as she was about to commence
cheese-making, "you'll never be able to
proceed, if you don't see your whey
clear"
81 WANT to know whether we are
going to keep house or board, before going
into this thing" said young lady at the
altar in San Francisco. Commendable
foresight
A NEW style of boys trowsers has been
invented in Boston, with a copper seat,
sheet-iron knees, riveted down in the
seams, and waterproof pockets, to hold
broken eggs.
AN Omaha girl has introduced roman.
tic mode of suicide by stuffing her lovers
letters down her throat until she choked.
She couldn't swallow his unkind words
and so came to her end.
81 AM not afraid of barrel of CIDER
said topper to temperance man. 81
presume not" was the reply; " from your
appearance, l guess barrel of cider
would run at your approach"
A CYNICAL writer says: "Take com.
pany of boys chasing butterflies; put
long-tailed coats on the boys, and turn
the butterflies into dollars, and you have
a beautiful panorama of the world"
TwENTY-ONE freshmen were lately
suspended from an English college because
professor couldn't find out who placed
ten-ounce tack in his chair. He, how.
ever, knew all about who sat down on it
MRS. SoMERvILLE, that wonderful
scholar, read Greek every morning before
breakfast. After she had passed hel
ninetieth year she divided her time be
tween the higher algebra, reading the
poets and newspapers, receiving friends
and working with the needle, without
spectacles.
A LADY reporter described male lee
turer the other day as an individual with
EARNS like pump-handles," "wart OF
his nose," and wearing the conventional
dress-cOat, minus the conventional DO
quet." 1t sounds rather odd to hear wo
men talk or write about men as men hav,
been accustomed to do about women, anC
we hope they will not carry it to the ex
tent of always telling the color of thei
hair or the shape of their whiskers.