St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-12-11
ST. c4ohnshurp Galedunian.
st. John>nmr, VI. friday, Dec. II, 1874.
Squibs.

poor man to go To amy watcrlmg-placc.
A Boston philosopher says that YOU
want to look at mems boot heels To dis |
cover their energy. y slow. >lothful /
man runs his boots over at the heels
\ confidential clerk in ii Chicago cat
tie ward has just skipped out with Scv-
cril thousand dollars. The New York
Commercial thinks he has probably TAX .
en- passage for CowcS.
\ Council Bluffs lawVer ate peanuts
in court and WAS fined so for con-
tempt. The Judge remarked that he
was determined to uphold the majesty
Of the law if it killed the entire peanut
crop OF the South.
The Omaha Bee says that the female
population of that town are not Oma-
hens or OmahoSses, hut OmahusSlc>.
If that Bee doesn't find that il has wax :
ed up Il nest of hornets we wouldn't
rive much for the spirit of the women
III that vicinity.
The Brooklyn Argus says that ever
since people heard that it is easier for Il
camel to 30 through the eye of Il needle
than for il rich man to enter the King
dom of Heaven they have all been any
iulIs to get rich 81 a. t" encourage the
camel.
According to Il Cincinnati paper. John
Thomas was recently sued by Hester
Plim for breach of promise. John
Thomas, come into court ', shouted the
constable. John Thomas needn't
come in To court me any more. said
Hester. prlmlN.
"Whv do they call the people VIII"
live in the South Sea Islands 'canl-
balls ." asked IN old lady of IL sailor.
"BccauSe they live on other people.
answered the sailor. "'Then my son
in-law must he Il camnibal." said she.
pcnsivcly, for he lives on me
Nineteen Years agoa Tennessee faith
cr refused to let his Young daughter &"
to candy-pull, and she disappeared.
The other day she returned, lifted elcv-
en- children out of the wagon. and en-
tered the house and took Oft her things
:is coollN us if she hadn't been gone over
a day.
Travellers Record Jokes: The age
at which friends will stick Mucilagc.
The best kind of luck PLUCK.
Good times Meal times. y good
tea for winter Use Charity. John
took il into his head Ia get his life in
srred. ''But, sir, You are too old for us
to take the risk" said the agent. ''WhN
so!" queries the old man. ''BrcauSe
speedy death is too sure Il thing.
.'Wcli. Eve been looking ut Your tai
hleS." said the fathcr-n-law. land |
find there amt one man dies at my age
to 100 that die younger. The inSu-
I,'t l,ttt I,l,
Henry SAYS its good logic. and he II
''back the old man for fifty Years yet.
Argument against woman suffrage 3:
A very dirty man came i'll to vote i'll u
township of Michigan at the late clcc-
ton. Said IL lady. offering him Il bal
lot, Il wish you would ohligc us 10y
voting this ticket" What Kind of Il
ticket is that ," said he. why" said
the lady, lyon can see Yourself. "l'ut
| can't read" lc answered. Cant You
read the ballot YOU have there in Your
hand which you are about t" vote ,
the lady asked. NO" said he, Il can't
read ut ALL" "Well, said the lady.
this ballot means that You are willing
to let the women ;I> we'll as the men
vote" is that it p he replied. ''thrn
| don't want it: the women don't know
enough to vote"
WHY is mouse like Il load of hay J!
Because the cat'll eat it.
Prof. Seclye is the only clergyman
elected to the next Congress. Stlah.
MIR. DeloS. of Wisconsin, has Il9
warts on his hands. and that warts the
matter with DeloS.
4 wicked man in Davenport. being
on his death bed, wished to consult
some proper person regarding his future
state. and his friend sent fire inSu-
rance agent to him.
There is Il man in Missouri win" has
got II dog which doesn't resemble Noah :
Ark. He says, ''hc has kept him forty
days and forty nights without his light
in on AIRY rat.
\ Washington lady, upon the mar
riagc of her daughter. gave her intend
ed son -in-iaw three dollars in Il Sralrd
envelope with which to fee the minis
ter. The eutcrpriSin% youth ah>tIactc,
tWo-thir'lS of the amount and de!ivcre,
the remaining one dollar to the preach
or. Now. with IL beginning like this
what chance has that mother in-law
Young man. you feel IL superiority I,
the whole human race aS you stand Il
the altar with your fair Young bride
Iou would not change places with tin
President. Yet IL few short Years.
few whiSking of broom handles. an I'M
timely Stoppage or two of waited Tia
irons. and your weary body will res
under the Swaying willow, while som
Young gallant viii bring your late at
ticted partner ont to the cemetery 81
calm sabbath evenings and whi~pc
love i'll her ear. us together they sire,
peanuts over your grave. "Oh VIII
should the spirit of mortal he proud -
An eminent French phy say
Man Adclcl. claims to have diScoVerc
that tiddlin% viii cure nervousness. an
that trumpet solo will cure catalcpSN
| have not Vet tested the accuracy {
these statements. but | know Il ma
who is learning To play the accorded
who has 50 completely cured every bod
in the nrighholhood of homcSicknr>
that they az" perfectly willing to +,
main away from home for any lcugI
ot time while the accordion hcnd
practising. He L. also curing the nous
rents III the vicinity by driving thci
down. have also known singing I
relieve acute attacks of rheumatism
Old Jones. who used to live near IN,
was disturbed one night by glcc clu
which wa> Sercmading his daughtc
He suffered Il great deal from rhcumI;
tism. but he managed to hohble To til
front window with his gun, and Will
he WAS leaning ont to take aim at til
man who sang bass, he lost his halanc
and tumbl"d ont on the pavement. II
never suffered again from rheumatism
L Il. L