The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-07-24
SAYINGS AND DoIXGs.

| THE latest joke about "Tupper's
Proyerbial Philosophy is that it has
been dramatized by Mr.. Dion Bouci-
cault for the Queens Theater-
IT is painful to hear an ungodly man
remark during the heated term that
"it's as hot as ginger" when everybody
1 knows that he means something else.
Ar o'clock at night, when you see
the big dipper with the handle toward
you, and the tail of the comet in the
bowl, it is about time to take drink.
THE startling declaration is made by
an English writer that the whole civil
lied world, " regarded in mass, IS liv-
ing beyond its means. --
SAID Young America to his papa !:
60 Pa, be you a Britisher2" Yes,
my son, I was born in England.
Well, we whipped you" retorted the
| youngster. .--.....-.
THE Austrian expedition which sailed
for the Polar seas two years ago has not
| been heard from since, and the scien-
tific people are turning themselves into
interrogation points.
N' YES, SIR" said Michigan Fourth
] of July orator, Z" Putnam went right
into the VOLTS den, dragged her out,
/ and the independence of America was
secured.
The Virginia youth who wouldn't
enter college because the faculty
wouldn't let him bring his three coach
! dogs along, struck a strong blow at the
very roots of despotism.
AN eastern paper contained no edite-
rial and only one local item for four
days, on account of repairs to the office.
The "repairs" consisted of putting
lock on a door and washing the win
dows.
IT is proposed to plant the San Joa-
quin valley, Cal, with the eucalyptus
or blue gum trees. For length of two
hundred miles, and with width vary
ing from forty to fifty miles, the bottom
is level and almost treeless.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases. For in
stance, when a Virginian arose IN
church and said: "Here's a hundred
dollar bill for the old boss behind the
pulpit r. no one thought of having him
put out.
WHEN you see a young fellow strike
a match to light his cigar, and then re-
store the unconsumed fragment to his
vest pocket, accept 1t as sign that he
has been reading some good book on the
necessity of economy for young men
about to marry.
THE amount Of gabble performed by
a parlor crowd on wet day at the sea-
side is said to be perfectly appalling.
"The women, God bless them" is not
exactly the eXpresSio ion of dyspeptic
guests at the hotels who are forced to
listen to the din.
WHEN a stranger stands on public
square in Denver, spits on his hands
and cries out, ''climb on to me by thou
sands !" even the postmaster pulls off
his coat and goes ont to make the re-
spOnse a success.-DetrOt Free Press.
LITTLE Penelope Marrowfat is a child
who is keenly alive to what Is going on
about her. Wiping the molasses
from her mouth, at the breakfast table,
the other morning, she sweetly said
" If should ever die Of hydroThobia,
papa, you won't let EN- cut Outmy liver,
will you I"
THE acme has been reached in the
pathos of titles by a music publisher,
who has produced a touching piece of
mew-sick under the pathetic name of
" Mother Bring My Little Kitten"
We propose getting ont companion
piece, s. Daddy, Have you Drowned
the Puppies 4? F."
PHEBE CoUzINs doesn't dress like her
brsthers of the bar, says the Chicago
Tribune, by way of Commencing an item.
That's undoubtedly true she dresses
by putting on her clothes over her head,
while they don't, and, what's more,
they can't. But what business is it of
the Tribune's, anyhow?
There is another big streak of light
in the South Carolina mirk. In spite
of all the thieving and rowing and or
ganized anarchy, the number of schools
in the state ran up within four years
from 634 to 1919, and of school-children
from sc, 900 to nearly n, 900. There is
encouragement in these figures, and
hope.
my spirits is crushed, Jane, crush
ed, !" sobbed Mrs. Marrow at to Mrs.
OuogRs. "That lovely bOWquette-
you rememb5r-which it was I, Mar
gerry Marrowfat, as sent it to Mrs.
Spliven's funeral. Well, the card got
! lost. and nobody knowed as who it
came from" And here her great an
guish stopped over afresh.
A MAN in Iowa, according to The Bur
| lington Hawkeye, died recently who
has taken his county paper for twelve
years without paying for it. Upon the
/ day of his burial the kind-hearted, for
/ giving editor called to see him for the
I last time, and stuffed linen duster and
| a couple of palm leaf hats ins : cOffiu.
he was preparing him for warmer eli
mate.
RECENTLY, at a church fair on Ida
/ Hill, large and frosted cake was Of
4 fered to the person who should guess
nearest to the correct weight, at ten
{ cents q guess. The pastor urged
/ young lawyer to invest q dime. The
practitioner replied, I'm play you. q
game of euchur to see who gets the
cake, but don't understand the other
game.
DArBURY NEWS =" Have you a letter
for Bridget Murphy 2" ." No" said the
Danbury postmaster, the other after
noon. d" or for Kate Murphy 4" No
7ficbasi N1rpbv ssNo." cor
Teddy Murphy ?" ssNo." "Or Tim
Murphy ?" q No no letters here for
anybody named Murphy" Fhat
post-ofice !" exclaimed Mrs. Murphy,
taking her leave. And, 81 wonder
whether Tim Murphy was the baby,
cOgitated the postmaster, as he noted
her heavy-hearted departure.
elk the DAYS of old Rome" says a
writer In Belgravia, ft when a senator
vas reputed OF great wealth, he would
receive q kind permission from the state
TO undertake the making Of new road
or other public Improvement. Often,
indeed, as means Of perpetuating his
name and fame to Pssterity, he would
voluntarily undertake some magnificent
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