Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-06-25
PHUNNYGRAMS.

:" For twenty long years" says New
Jersey paper, the wolf stood at this
poor widows door" To keep a wolf
standing that long is nothing less than
cruelty to animals.
"A Milwaukee boy has swallowed half
a dozen steel buttons, and his mother
doesn't have to scream for him when he
is out on the street PLAYING with those
Cluckerson boys. She Just brings a mag
net to the door, and he flies to it like a
needle to the pole.
=" / tell YOU said a bereaved man to
a neighbOr next day after burying his
wife, when | came to get into bed, and
lay thar, and not hearing Lucinda iawing
around for an hour and a half, it just
made me feel as if I'd moved into a
strange country"
=" The Louisville C0uTer-J0ur71dJs says
the Washington Fire Department wasted
10000 gallons of water TO amuse a COM
pany of Indiana editors. Great Heavens!
Did it undertake to wash that crowd? .
Indianapolis NerS "Wash the dickens!
We said gallons of water-not h0gsHeGds,
and an utter exhaustion Of the soap mar
ket was not even limited at "-C0urier-
Journal.
"A short time since little commercial
" drummer" CHANGED to get into the same
railway carriage, III England, in which
the Dukes of Argyle and Northumber-
land were travelling. The three chatted
Familiarity until the train stopped at Ain
wick Junction, where the Duke of North
cumberland got out, and was met by a
train of f1unkeys and servants. THAT
must be a great SWELL said the drummer
fp hiC Voc
spOnded the Duke of Argyle, he is the
eyes!" exclaimed the drummer; and to
think that he should have been so conde-
scending to tlc0 little sn05s like u.s."
"A tall, portly and dignifed citizen of
the Quaker persuasion, well known in
Philadelphia, arrived in New York the
other day, and having no baggage but
light travelling satchel was utterly oblivi-
Gus to the appeals Of the hackmen as he
emerged from the railway station. The
traveller, looming up like a ten-pin among
vinegar cruets, and face as placid as a
pan of milk, was calmly and silently
moving away from the crowd of jarvies,
who looked after him with something
like amaZement, when a sudden thought
seemed to strike one, who, running after
lIlIiI, SClLCN uOIOI VI OIlC VI TIC VI
his travelling bag, with: Deaf and Dumb
Asylum, sir? Coin right up" This was
too much. Dignity relaxed into laugh,
and the hack-driver got a fare for down
town hotel.
"A recent number of a "health"
journal says: Zone of the strongest
arguments against the paper currency
now in circulation is that it spreads dis
ease. Thousands of persons annually
die from smallpox taken from money
that passes through their hands" This
is dreadful, and after reading it I feel
disposed never to touch another dollar
of the money again. But other people
are different | know that the statement
will appear incredible; l lpow people
will scott at the assertion; am aware
that | make myself liable TO a charge of
frightful mendacity, and yet it is an
absolute truth that | can lay my hand on
a reckless daredevil of man who will
stuff his clothes with all the paper money
he can get and take his chances with the
epidemics 1t may seem strange that
such fOOlhardiness should exist, and yet
this man Of mine would indulge in it if
he had a chance. Some men are born so
that they can face death without shud-
dpP-1EUr 4TeEpy