The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-04-11
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

irgton or Springfield? 81
Loosh Crooker, OF Mendoza, in the role OF
sharp lawyer, is pretty we'll known about otta
wa, but had not until lately been heard OF Il
the character of a Livingstone. 1t seems fey
weeks ago he organized an expedition to expior
the mysterious Winnebago swamp, The expedi
ton was made UP wisely Of that sort of materia
which lin view Of the great probability of bein!
iost) could best he spared, including the com
mander. For taking observations, it was equip
ned with a single instrument--a larged sized bot
lie filed with liquid, which being turned up t.
sun showed the meridian. They were gone three
weeks, and no tidings being heard from them
Can't, Dewey volunteered to take the pnrt OF
Stanley and hunt up the explorers After per
ilous Journey he found them and restored them
70 the bosom of their families But" says a
lengthy history Of the affair in the Mendoza But
htin;
"Tlcy were in very exhausted condition ana
unable to talk lueidy ofookeI mas t."m uro
noses 10 braid bis legs and sell them for WHIP
lash and Tayloris creating famine in Inc hrst
ward
The San Francisco Chronicle is possibly more
obllping than accurate. 1t says, AN Oakland
correspondent desires us to print the beautiful
pastoral about Mary's Little Lamb Not having
fine original at hand we are forced to quote from !
memory" #.
Mary possessed diminutye sheep.
Whose external covering was as devoid Oh coIui 40
the conrealed aqueous fluid which occasional
~ presents inslrmountabc barriers TO rand
road travel on the Sierras /
And everywhere that Mary peregrlnatcu, i
The juvenile Southdown was sure TO get up ana
get right after her
II tagged her to the alphabet dispcnsary one day,
Wbicbwas in contrayention Of established usage;
i caused the other youthful students to cachir-
nate and skyfugle
To perceive an adolescent mutton in an edlhcc
devoted TO the dissemination of knowledge
And so the prcceptor elected him from the in
terror, II
Bu, he continued to roam in the immediate Vi !
entity, t H I
And remained in the neighborhood until Mary t
Once more became visible. ... . IL.
"What causes the juvenile sheep to banker after
Mary so"
Quered the inquisltive children of their tutor, q
"Why Mary bestows much affection upon the lit
lie animal to which the wind is tempered o
when shorn, you must be aware" e
The preceptor with alacrity responded.
The propretors Of popular cosmetic in Chi y
cago advertise that "ladies who do not use il sell
dom marry" Ladies who Seldom marry" can. -
not expect to take rank among the best society ,
Of Chicago, V
Philip Maloney, Of Amboy, had won the heart :,
Of the daughter Of hard.hearted granger, who y
objected 20 the proposed matrimonial arrange
Iuent. Phillip used the drgamsntro, al .fstirm
On old "hay-secd" with such vigor that he got II
nto the Dixon jail for it. But it proved, says b
he HyaH another case Of love smiling ut lock al
miths for the sweetheart promptly followed her te
over 10 Town ana iharrIeu MN ~ 'ne iai 'ne" no
,ong home to await the expiration of his thirty h.,
lays Incarceration. When told there could be :,
title comfort in having a husband in that way, ."
be said she had the consolation Of knowing, at ST
east where he spent his evenings. ...
The unsoyed scientific connundrum, "Do fish 10
car assumes this shane on pajr,ca hoard at DIT
favorte hole below town; Don't fish hearr bu
.iLer this i, the anxious query Of another sci co
l,ifc inquirer, or il may be the contemptuous As
Of one who has no patience with IL CO
lorance. ne
THIS Is from the Louisville Joana}: VIZ
&c N
igAts ago on the social evil. She wore a clus
cr Of diamonds on her neck, and solitaire dia- SIC
nonds dangled from her ears. 1t is Just such fin
Iagnihccnce as this that leads young women -
res Which men cali the lecture field. sti
Pill Heck is reported to be again married, and We
9 'he same pgleL VINO swice deserted MN lor hi
N three times and oud.n- Wa. I,depSnd,ni fin
An Indianapolis beggar goes about selling his ~
wfcs wedding ring to buy bread for his children lol
lie has already sold twenty five Of II. co
Atombstonein the Yazoo, Miss cemetery bears ey
,Ais inscription; hi
Here lies inferred Priscilla Bird bo
Who sang on earth till siXty-two;
Now up on high, above the sky pa
No doubt she sings, like sixty, too. ed
\ heokuk exchange tells Of a young man en-
whose rest was seriously disturbed by dance tb
overhead, the other night. He dressed himself, If
stole INTO the bali room, and surrepttiousy
-prnkled red pepper on the floor In five min
pics thereafter the dancing party went in exccu 'c
tive session on sneezing and soon after adjourn di
The Hobinlr Democrot propouuda this har WI
rowing conuudrum: II,
Who is there that is not chained to the rock of nj
,Ae past, with the vIlturc Of Memory tearing al -
H's N'al', screaming forever in the ear Of Con pa
science? ma
We give itup .,
\ Danoury man who received telegram from
buffalo requesting him to come thither immedl. NJ
"'ely TO attend his mother in.laws funeral, stern fl
Iy declined, aging he never attended celebra- i;
tons in Lent 81
An exchange sagely remarks: when they -
ind q man in Washington who hasn't plan OF ~
his own for the solution Of the financial problem DC
iheydrown him. Noone has been drowned there
yet" W
eat IN the Louisville Coa,,e,,. Journal onIce W
.'el in a drawer for nine days without food er
light or drink, and in three minutes after being ri
ie' ont she was playing base bah with the paste a.
cup This, IL must he remembered, was Ken. q,
lucky cat -..-. -.
drink ''''"I vi