The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1874-05-13
DAE'L MALONE.


He was tull-witted but his wits
would play hide and seek, or get
into an intcrminable tangle when
he most needed to use them
Half.witted he might have been
called and yet both halves were
under his skull, nevertheless, al
though unbalanced or minated
betimes. When the odd and even
OF his brain were adjusted, as most
Of the while they chanccd to be,
Dan'I WAS ! philosopher. But, oc-
casiona!ly, the divided condition
Of his senses had illustration in
most absurd speeches, aud ludi-
croas actions. AS l single picture
in . stereoscope is without per-
spective, so Dan'rs half,a- mind,
(whichever half it might hap
pen to be) failed to apprehcnd the
fitness of things. His wits were so
given to truaacy, now here, now
yonder, that, try never so hard to
say or do q proper thing in an
emergency, he was almost sure to
blunder into some predicament as
unexpected and mor:ifying to
himself as it was laugbable to
others. Dan'l took nothing for
granted. He had no logica! acu-
men, except when his brain was lev
ell, and then be was a match for
the schoolmaster. He invested
no thought in specuiations. The
side of a fact next 10 Lin was all
be believed in however narrow, or
however imperfect it might be.
One day, after Dan'l Malone
had been on Brushwood Barrens
for two or three years, he was oc-
cupied in hauling heavy timber
from the clearing. In one Of his
mental distractions, he was about
girdling the log-chain around a
soft pine stump, which was we'll
decayed by age. In backing the
stubborn oxen to the position he
desired, be had lost his temper,
and away went his balance of
judgment! At length he succeed
ed in securing enough slack chain
to span the object he intended to
remove, and was about fastening
the chain into itself around the
stump by securing the intersecting
link with peg made for the pnr-
pose. Not finding the peg,and the
oxen becoming restless to be off
with the draft, to make sure Of
his stump, in nalf-thoughtedness,
he thrust his thumb through the
protruding link where only firm
est wood should have been insert
ed. Of course the moving oxen
! frightened the chain before Dan IS
wandering wits returned, and the
sudden pressure forced that un.
fortunate thumb, double and bruis-
ed, through an operation which
! brought Dan'l to his senses, and
made him yell with pain.
"Och! Murdncr-w b o a-oh I!
whoa-back, you Berry, back, you
baste! Fire and musthird! Whoa
oh-h !"
The soft wood yielding and the
oxen Stacking the draft, Dan'l sue
ceeded in extricating his thumb,
and taking a survey Of the dam
ages, continued,
"An' did any body ever see such
afool caper as you! The botherin'
bastes a-pullin' their livel best on
yon poor thumb, is it, dye see?"
and Dan'l took q wider survey.
10 see ifany body has witnessed the
calamity. Although no bones was
broken, he was severely panied !;
and after lis explosion Of cjacuIa-
tions, he lifted one knee, and stand
ing on the other toot, he thrust
his bleeding thumbinto his mouth,
and there he was, the pic
ture Of agony and chagrin.-
In this position ..he was statue
when in answer to his cries which
he sent echoing among the hills,
some Of the neighboring boys, who
chanced to be hunting rabbits in
the adjacent woods, came running
to his relief. But seeing that no Sc
rious disaster had befaIlen Dan'l
and coming to learn the extra ma
ture of the trouble, they raised as
many echoes by their laughter as
Dan'l had by his yells. All OF
which Dan'l Malone considered
to be ill-timed.--Fr0m "Startin9
Out" "by Alexander Clark: in School,
day Magazine.
A German peddler sold man
liquid for exterminating bugs
md how do y-or uea If 2n inOnir