davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09
WOOU HTD CUGE.

IoAL' COAL
We have now on hand and are constantly re-
ceiving at our wharf and storage yards. foot OF
Queen streets, all the best GOALS known to
this market. We name in part:
LYkEN'S VALLEY.
SHAMOKIN and EAST FRANKLIN LOR-
BERRY RED ASH
| JOHNS, from EAGLE VEIN COLL!ER4 (.
The celebrated CONTINENTAL and HA-
EEL DELL, from the Goodrich Coliery, es-
tcened the best in the market.
And LEE and STANTON WHITE ASH
ANTHRACITE COAL, of Steamer, Broken,
Egg Stone and Nut sizes.
COAL.
Also HICKORY, OAK and PINE WOOD.
Having ample space, each variety of Coal is
kept distinct from that of others, and is es-
&C >ad Coal sent out well screened and free from
sase, 224O lbs to the ton Orders left with
Messrs. Clarridge s. Grgg, corner King and
ROYAL sts, or at the yards will be promptly Giled.
T. j. MEHAFFEY " CO.,
jyl7 Wharf and Yards foot Of Queen st.
|CoAL' COAL, ooAL'
To arrive and on wharf full stock Of
Lyken's Valley Red Ash Coal.
Lorberry Red Ash Coal
Shamokin Coal
Henry Clay Mine Coal.
Lee Mine White Ash Coal.
Deano Mine White Ash Coal.
Lehgh White Ash Coal.
Locust Mountain Coal.
Chestnut Red Ash Coal
Chestnut White Ash Coal
Vest Virginia Coal
Cum berlAnd Coal.
All of the best quality, and for sale at lowest
market rates-224O lbs to the ton.
Orders lett a. ~ King street will be promptly
attended TO- w. "A. SMOOT,
jy loft Shoots wharf, foot Of Princess st.
- 3. r. AGNE W,
J Agent for the
II Sale and shipment Of boat Gust
~ GEORGES CREEK,
CUMBERLAND and
~ ANTHRACITE COAL.
Either blythe cargo, car load or retail
Ga~ Coal Docks, Alexandria, Va, and George
town u. G.. sn9t
/,REY AND BROWN DEBEGE5
More Of the above very cheap goods just re-
ce.vrd.
jew IF. WILMER co.
NOTlCEl NOTICE!
IN Our bills will be distributed on the first
of July, and we hope they will meet with
prompt settlement.
je q D. f. WILMER co.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

Just by having sweetheart, young woman
in Ripley, Ohio, has killed her brother, wound
ed her father, widowed her sister-i n-law, or
phaned her nephew, and made herself mlsera
bic. No wonder the funeral was mile long
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

IIOOE u JOHNSTON,
Successors to Fowe s. Co..
NO. PRINCE STREET.
GENERAL
COM MISSION AND SHIPPING MEkCTS.
Dealers in ali kinds OF
FERTILIZERS, SALT AND PLASTER
Agents OF the
NEW YORK & BALTIMORE STEA NJ Frs.
Also of the
LIVERPOOL & LONDON & GLOBE J N
SURANCE COMPANY.
fob 6-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

dECTfU-N-EEKS.
GTRANCIS A. KERRY,
AUCTIONEER,
REAL ESTATE BROKER,
AND GENERAL BUSINES AGENT
NO. so x \ & ST L Ell.
(Burkc's BulldingJ
Alexandria, Virginia.
Euy and sell, let and lease houses in Aiezsn-
drja and farms in the country.
Particular attention given to the selling al
household furniture At suction At the residences
of families declining housekeeping. lieb2l-ti
XTRA FINE QUEEN CHOP q. I. TEA
u "A fresh supply just received.
GEO. McBURNEl & SON,
nv 26 1876 and 10 King street
ECEIVEDTHIS DAY-one hundred boxes
Ii GLASS, running in siz" from GXS /" 2o>''
fab II b. f. PkAkk CU.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09
THE GAZETTE.
THURSDAY EVENING, JULY 9.

Mast has represented 10 Harper's Weekly
Hon. John A. Logan, Of Illinois, as four
legged animal, with muzzle on his nose and
lin can (labled ''Infation'') tied to his tail,
which he carries between bis legs, and is max
ing tracks towards the woods aud away from a
hootiDg crowd standing 10 doorway marked
headquarters of the Illinois Republican par.
ty." The whole picture is underlined IAN Oh
inct of PITY
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

STEAMBOATS,.
.r- STEAMER PILOT BOY,
.EG Capt. Jos. White.

.Ea2ElG Capt. Jos. White.
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.
Will leave her wharf on Tuesday, at 730 a.
M, for Currioman and intermediate landings,
returning ON Wednesday.
On Thursday SPECIAL EXCURSION
TRIP to Marshall Hall, Glymont and DIPS
wharf. stopping at Tolson's and Stewards. For
his trip boat leaves at $3.50 a M, returning at
p. m.
On Saturday regular trip at 7:30 q. m, to all
RIVER LANDINGS, except Mattox Greek
and Currioman-for which will be substituted
Colton's Blackistone's Island, Leonardtown,
Piney Point and Marsha rs
F. A. REED, Agent,
jyl Janney's wharf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09
GIVE KS A CALL.

las- Orders from the country filed At short
notice. my 26
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

CHILDREN'S SCHOOL AND WALKING
BOOTS.
A large stock and great variety OF Styles at
very reduced prices,
At WADDEY'S, "A King street
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

NIL VITRlOLl OIL VITRIOLi
~ Ten carboys Oil Vitriol, for fertilizers
&c, just received by
iy6 lO7 King street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

We desire to call the attention OF our irleho
and the public generally to our large ana varied
assortment of
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-07-09

GENTLEMEN'S FINE DRESS BOOTS
AND SHOES.
A large stock of new styles, very handsome
of the best quality, and ut low prices,
At WADDEY'S, IA King street.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
BANKERS.
MISCELLANEOUS.

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE-OFFICEI IN TRUMPs
j Building, up stairs, Canton, U. nOyS7s-yl.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
SPLENDOR AND DISTANCE OF
SIRIUS

Mr.. Proctor's "King of Suns" is the
magnificent Sirius-that splendid star of
the southwestern sky, whose fixed blaze
is not diminished, even though he has
receded from us, during the past century,
more millions on millions of miles than
we would dare to say. How must he
have appeared-with what unuttenble
glOry-to the first races of mankind ?-t0
the human beings who precede the an
cient Egyptians. These latter worshiped
Sirius. U.t. ..t..rHI,
He wore red hue then--three or
four thousand years before the time of
Christ. His color has changed during
the last four thousand years-and he,
himself, is untold and untellable miles
farther away than he was then; but such
is his unimaginable distance that even
his swift recession from this particular
region of endless space seems to make,in
in any one century, noperceptible differ
epGe, in his appearance. .i.p
OF one star alone, of all the infinite
host outside of our solar system, the dis
tancc has been measured. II is AL pha
Centauri. II is found to lie more than
200000 times farther away than the sun.
At this distance our sun would shine
much less brightly than Alpha Centauri,
But Sirius that ineffable sun, is still more
remote. He is at greater distance
away, the best computations consign to
him distance exceeding that of Alpha
Centauri fye-fold to ten-fold.
Taking the smallest of the distances,
it follows that if Sirius shone no more
brightly than Alpha Centauri in appear
ance, he must nevertheless give out
twenty-five times as much light. Yet a
careful comparison of his brightness with
that of Alpha Centauri shows that Sirius
is about four times brighter. Therefore,
says Mr.. Proctor, in reality he must give
out about one hundred times as much
light as that great star.
In other words, coming back to our
sun, it is found that Sirius shines in re-
ality three hundred times more brightly
than the sun. Proctor proves, mathemat-
ically that if this be true land he bell
ewes it) then it follows that the volume
of Sirius is about twenty-five hundred
times as great as the suns. Even the
diameter Of this King of Suns is between
seventeen and eighteen times that of our
sun.
Out of that kingly sphere of light in
conceivable, two thousand such orbs as
our sun might be formed, "each fit to be
the center of scheme of circling worlds
as important as that in which our sun
bears sway" What must be the plane
tary system of Sirius2
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

statuesque recumbent attitude, in prayer.
He obtains his statement, puts it in his
pocket and returns. Tilton, upon reach
ing home, obtains from the sick wife an
other statement, testifying to the fact of
the one given to Beecher. Beecher goes
home like "sleep-walker." On the next
day Moulton calls and advises him to give
up this statement, as Titon has destroyed
his wife's confession. He gave it up, and
then the apology was written in the man
ner set forth by Beecher
Inthe February following were written
the two striking letters from Beecher to
Moulton and to Mrs Tilton. The latter
denies ever having seen the one address
ed to her, but the writer acknowledges it,
In the summer of 1871 occur the letters
of Mrs. Tilton in which is the allusion 10
Catharihe Gaunt In May Mrs. Wood
hull first disclosed her knowledge of the
affair, and from then to November, 1872,
Tilton made heroic efforts to hold her in
check by putting his name to biography
of her and otherwise magnifying her, In
November, 1872, she published her full
disclosure. In the interval the Golden
Age was started, and Beecher contribu-
ted in 1871 and 1872 about two thousand
dollars to its support. In the spring of
1872, Tilton having returned from the lee
ture field discouraged, threatened to pub
lish in the Golden Age the letter written
by him to Bowen, January 4, 1871, and
Bowen becoming frightened paid Tilton
seven thousand dollars (which, according
to all accounts was rightful and due) and
tripartite agreement of amnesty, concord,
and future peace was signed. Then in
1873 came the publication of various doc
uments. including Tilton's letter to Bow
en-, tripartite agreement, Tilton's case was
presented to DIR. Storrs, and so forth,
down to June, 1873, below which date it
seems unnecessary to follow the case.
On the first of May, 1873, Beecher mort
gagged his house for Ave thousand dollars
to raise money to set up Tilton in that
prosperity which was to bury the scandal
forever. This money was paid TO MOul-
ton, as per checks, some of which are still
exhibited by Beecher.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
4 BRILLLNTS.

Never comPlihent stupidity by MOTTO
ing the snarls of conceit.
There is naughtin theworld 80 deserv-
serving of admiration as the man who
bears misfortune with courage.
The best education in the world is that
got by struggling to get Hving.-[Wen-
dell Phillips 10
1t would be a good thing when we.are
speaking Of the, beautiful and accom-
plished, if we could alwayFadd they are
pure, innocent, and happylA ~
The block Of granite.which vas an OBJ
stacle i'm the path Of the weak, becomes
q stepping-stone in epath of the strong.
-[Carlyle. 3a
Try how the life of good man suits
thee, the life of him whojs satisfied with
his portion out of the whole, and satisfied
with own just acts and benevolent diepo-
sition. @
Mems lives should be like days, more
beautiful in the evening, or like the
Spring. agloW with promise and like the
Autumn, Fich with golden sheayes, where
good works and deeds have ripened on
the field.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
HOW 4 REPORTER LOST HIS
iSI7'UA TTOM

IL is said that in a moment of tempo
rary insanity Boston city editor
assigned horse racing, base ball and
aquatic reporter to report in half col
umn the Sunday services at church Of
a sensational preacher. This is the re-
port he published, for which he was dis
charged.
"The House met at lO:30A.M. Prayer
by the Chaplain. The first race was be-
tween the Chaplain and singers, ii being
q pretty even match the first two heats;
but the singers got the best Of the last
three heats and came in on the amen
two lengths ahead winning the last three
heats and race. Time, 5:02
"Petitions were then presented for
forgiveness and other similar matters,
and notice was given for special assign
ments during the coming week for vari-
GUS objects.
THE sinners then sailed up to the
Judges stand, and after getting into pO-
sitiOn, sailed away on the course with all
canvass set, and a spanking breeze from
the organ, which drove them along in
fine style. The top-rigged fiat flying the
blue pennant was well ahead at the
stake, and came home ahead Of all the
fleet. '..
'The speaker then took the floor, and
announced his intention to ask that the
resolution Of censure that had been
heaped upon Ananias should be rescind-
ed and proceeded to read the records Of
the case, from which it appeared that
Ananias had sold his horse and not given
all the price to the churches. The speak
er then went on to say that no reason
appeared on the records for Ananias to
give any, and much less all, Of his prop
erty to the church, and he questioned If
any of those before him would do any
more than Ananias Had in the same
place, After further arguments af SINH
lar character, he moved that the Charac-
tier Of Ananias be and hereby is de-
elared A by the, members Of the
Housebb
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

FOos ospads-BuniOn pIuslsrA
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
posfrg.
IHATE THE BOWL.

"A Young lady in New York was in the habit o.
,.rifing ior he Philadelphia Ledqcr on the subject
Il Tsmpennce Her writing evlneed such deeI
noti0a that friend Of hers accused her OF beine
mAnlnc on the subject OF temperance, Whereupon
,hs Wrote the following stanzas:l
60, feel what have felt
co. bear what have borne
Hlnk meath the blows father dealt
And the cold winters scorni
Th-n suffer on frOm year to year
mo sole relief the scorchlng tear.
%, kneel where have knelt
Implore, beseech and pray
auriye the besOtted heart 70 melt
The downward course IN stay;
De dashed with bitter curse aside,
your prayers burlesqued, your tears dehed,
4 90, weep as have wept
Der loved fathers ALL
A1a every promised blessing Swept-
Youth sweetness turned 70 gall
kilfe's fading flowers strewn all the way
. mat brought me ON 10 wonnans day.
tl %, zee what have seen,
BehOld the strong man bow
Nifth gnashing teeth. lips bathed In blood,
A cold and liyid brow;
90, catch his whitening glance, and sec
There mirrored his souls misery.
%, hear, and feel, and see and know,
An that my soul hath felt and known;
Then look upon the wine-cups glow,
See fits beauty can atone
mink Of Its favor sou viii Try,
when all prOclaims, "'Tis drink and dieV
Ttll me hate the bowl
Hate Is but q feeble word;
Eloathe-abhOr-nly very soul
With strong disgust Is stirred,
Rhsne'er see Crhear or tell
Of that dark beverage Of hell.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

In addition to the fact that ice is light
er than water, there is another curious
thing gabout it which many persons donot
perhaps know-namely, its purity. A
lump of ice melted will become distilled
water. Water in freezing turns out all
that is not water-salt, air, coloring mat
ter, and all impurities. Frozen sea wa
ter makes fresh water ice. II you freeze
a basin of indigo water, it will make ice
as clear and as white as that made OF
pure rain water When the cold is very
sudden, these foreign matters have no
time to escape, either by rising or sink
ing and are thus entangled with the ice,
but do not make any part of it.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
KHAr CONSTITUTES 4 cARtoAR.

In general, 10000 pounds is a carload,
ofT0 barrels of salt, 10 Of lime, 30 Of flour,
go Of whisky, 200 sacks of -four, 8 cords
of hard wood, of soft, IS to 20 head Of
cattle, 50 to 80 head of hogs so to loo
head of sheep 5000 feet of solid boards,
17OOO feet of siding, 1900 feet Of fioor-
ing, 10000 shingles, less hard lumber,
| les green lumber, lilo less Of joists,
scantling and all other large lumber, $40
bushels of wheat, 800 of corn, $50 Of oats,
400 of barley, $50 of haxseed, $50 Of APP
plies, 4S0 of Irish potatoes, 800 Of sweet
potatoes, 1000 bushels of bran. The fire-
going table may not be exactly correct,
for the reason that railroads do not exact
ly agree in their rules and estimates, but
it approximates so closely to the general
average that shippers will find it q great
convenience as a matter Of reference.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

LorTA CRABrREE, the actress, has
bought very handsome and valuable
residence in Oakland, Cal.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
DENTISTS.
Joseph CRAIG,

DENTISTS.
JOSEPH CRAIG,
MENTAL SURGEON, NO. y, CAssILLY BLOCK,
~ Canton, Ohio All operations performed III
lne most approved and satisfactory manner
septlo i5-u
DIR. j. Ii. SlDDALL,
nENTIsT-OFFICE IN HARTER's BLOCK,
~ Canton, Ohio.
A. ]. DOUDS,
CURGEON DENTIST-OFFlCE UP STAIRS IN
y Alch Aueys Block, southeast corner Public
W quare Canton, Uhio. All operations connected
WILn the profession promptly attended ".
decl6.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

WaSrED-A hand to hold my own
A down life's stream we glide.
WaDted-A hand 10 milk the cows,
And be my own sweet bride.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03

A cHIRoPoDIsT in San Francisco swal-
lowed someOf the acid with which he
killed corns, and 1t killed him.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
MEDICINAL.
WISHART'S
PINE TREE
TAR CORDLAL z
Natures Great Remedy
FOR ALL .t
Throat and Lung
..i. DISEASES.

Il Is the vital principle Of the Pine Tree, oblais-
ed by peculiar process In the distillation on the
tar, BY which its highest medicinal prnpertios arc
retained, Tar even In its crude state has been
recommended by eminent physicians OF etSp
school Is Is confidently offered 10 the afflicted foe
the following simple reasons{ r1fgi adj u u0ff
{ 1T CpRRS,- mot bV dbrHbaV aOpptRqfhe enn0h--hue
but BY dissolYing the phlegm and dssiGtfn1 hdtafo
70 throw OF the unhealthy matter causing The fFfi-
tation.. In cases Of santed CONSUMPTION Il both
prolongs and renders less burdensome the life OF
heafficted sufferer. lfe = % = ~
( q Ih healing principle acts upon the lrrllated
surface Of the lungs. penefdtfB0 70 each diasnaed
part relieving pain and subdtfn0 iHfqjnatioH ,,a
B 1T PURIFIIs AND ENRIcHEs THE BLOOD Pos.
itiVely curing all humOm, nom the common Piil-
PIE or ERUPTION TO the seYerest case Of 8crofnla
Thousands Of atfidavit could be produced from
those who have felt the beneficial effects Of PINE
TREE TAR CORDIAL In the various diseases arising
from MPUR1fiEs OF THE BLOOD
|, 4 Hinuigooics ne di0ekits otOaAb na5p Fest0rts
We dppeiits. e.aa.,,ff M, lu mo ID .nlUII a.
All who have known Or tried Dr. L, Q. %. via
harts remedies require no references from u.s. but
the names Of thousands cured BY them can Be CIV.
en- 70 any one who doubts our slatementg Dr. L.
y Q. Wisharts Great American LpspepSia PiRs and
WORN SUGAR DRoPs have never been eQualed
For sale by all Druggists storekeeperA and at
liDR. L. @. G. WISHARTS Office,
qn No 2s2 N. second st., Philadelphia.
March 26, 74-mos 6 / slrI liih giA9l1 'Wf'ia
Y f....f f.t.llf II 81. .Iffrrra
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-09-03
HOTELS.

ST. CLOUD HOTEL,
~ D. ELY, PRORIEToR,-PUBL SQUARE,
". Canton, Ohio. JulyTb9.
.t ALLIANCE HOUSE,
DY D. SOURBECK,---AT THE STATION, ALLI-
ID ance, Ohio. Meals always in readiness ON ar
RIVAL OF cars.
JACKSON HOTEL
CANTON, OHIO-MRs. JOHN HERBST, PRO-
" prielOr Having just leased and RENTED this Ho-
TEL VIII endeayOr " keep good tOble Oi the best
the market affords. GOUu staDling for horses, and
good attentOd. The choicest Ot Wines &C., always
ON hand. may772-tl.
AMERICAN HOTEL,
CtALEM, OHIO - JOHN A. DELLENBAUGH,
y Proprietor. This popular and well known
nuuse has lately been rented and furnished all
through. good sample room for commercial
trayeiers. Livery Stable in connection with the
House. and an Omnibus " and from all trains.
Those patrOnizing the House will at ali times re-
ceive prompt and courteous attention. augl7-h.
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-11-06
A widows Witness.

1t was told of old that the cackle
of q goose once saved Rome. 1t Is
now stated that swallow won a suit
in court away down in Texas. A
poor widow and her daughter had q
suit for damages before a court in
i Houston. The counsel for the plain
tiff introduced into his pleading
the fable of the swallow that
built her nest and reared her
young under the caves Of the temple
Of justice. The lawyer enlarged upon
the swallows trust in the protection
OF her home the place afforded, and
very aptly made the application to
Ghe case before the court. When
the counsel was about finishing his
Illustration a swallow actually flew
into the room and alghted upon the
judges desk. 1t then hoped away
and found rest for the soIes of its
feet on the railing of the iury-box.
In its circuit of the room It halted
for while upon a pile of law books,
then lowered moment over the
heads of the plaintiffs, and few out
of the window and away, The law
yer concluded by saying: Behold
the Witness" and as the witness
could not be called back by the op-
posing counsel, the case was given
to the jury pretty much as the swal-
low left it. The jury could not ig-
more the birds evidence, and gave a
verdict for the widow. The story
is q little birdy, but not in the least
fishy. If it was a preconcerted plan
of the lawyer it was very happily
arranged and nicely carried out, and
deserves a place among court re-
ports and curious pleadings.
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-11-06

The Duke of Cambridge suffers
severely from gout, and he would be
very foolish, considering his salary, if
he didn't.
Why is the bridegroom more ex-
pensive than the bride2 Because
the bride is always given away,While
the bridegroom is usually sold.
The little boy speaks again, this
time correcting his mother. She
said he was 'alI over dirt" and he
said dirt was call over him."
An old gander was recently killed
in Virginia at the age Of ninety.
The name of the fortunate boarding
house that drew the prize is not Civ
en-.
Spittoons are now made so rich
and ornamental that it makes one
feel reasonably well of to sit down
and spit in one of them few times.
"Just keeping it lighted for an
other boy" is the latest juvenile in
vention when a mother suddenly
comes upon her little boy with ci-
gar in his mouth.
A Lady once asked Lord Broug-
ham who was the best debater in
the House of Lords. His Lordship
modestly replied: 'Lord Stanley is
the second madam"
The only thing that it bothers a
grasshopper to swallow is four
legged table. A well developed hop
per can worry it down, but the legs
| tickle his throat
Mr.. Snypon of Green Bay is an
other fearful example, Of coming
within half an inch oft. Now why
didn't they lengthen his name lit
tie and make it SnypOntOast!
"This fire was the result Of gross
| carelessness," said an insurance
agent to a man whose store was in
ruins. 81 know it, replied the man
"and that's just the risk 1 pay you
to insure.
| Ven some man slabs me on der
shoulder und say: 81 was glad to
| heer you vas so veil, ,"und den sticks
behind my back his fingers on his
nose, I hef my opinion Of dat veil
er."
An Irish militia man, being told
by q phrenologist that he had the
organ oflocality very large,innoeent-
| Iy replied. every likely; was five
years in the local militia
One more sign ofreturning reason
is the fact that lamp explosion OF
a threshing machine accident can
occasionally be found sandWiched in
between portions of the Beecher
/ scandal.
We have all heard Of asking fol
money and getting advice; but a gen,
tleman may be considered as still
worse treated when he asks for q
young lady's hand and gets her Ia
ther's foot.
], A Girl ate a hot mustard plaster,
I And kept talking faster and faster
q She, when asked out to spout,
Said the thing drew her out;
$ ,rbicb her friends thought dreadful disaster