Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1874-07-10

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quantance; but though in the present
instance she did precisely as she was bid,
she resolved in her heart that it was the
last time she would get up at six in the
morning to prepare breakfast.
At eight o'clock everything being
ready, Mrs. Swallow called Mr. Swal-
low
Breakfast is ready, Mr.. Swallow
els the toast made p
Eyes"
"Not burned ~
"No."
care my stockings aired p
eyes"
you'll do" quoth Mr.. Swallow, and
to breakfast he went having received the
services of the blushing Mrs. Swallow to
assist him in dressing.
The breakfast, however, did not turn
out to be the thing it had been cracked
up for. The toast was done q little too
much, and the tea wasn't done quite
enough the slop bowl was at the wrong
end of the table tray, and there were sew
eral crumbs ON the carpet
"The servant hasn't been here this
morning observed Mrs Swallow
Servant" returned Solomon, Il dis
charged her yesterday. You don't think
can afford to keep servant and wife
too ~
The lady again was posed, and she
said nothing, but the day wore to its
close before she could bring herself to the
belief that Mr.. Swallow had actually
made use of the words servant and
'wife' in the same sentence.
The next morning at six o'clock, Mr..
Swallow again informed his wife that it
was time to get up, coupling the remark
with the suggestion that in the future
she must save him the trouble of remind
ing her of so necessary a duty.
Mrs. Swallow, however, benefited
nothing by this soft insinuation, for at
the moment she either was, or pretended
to be, fast locked in the arms of Morphc-
u.s.
tDon't you hear, Mrs. Swallow p
quoth Solomon.
But alas slight consciousness was
the only response from Mrs Swallow.
Now this was a ticklsh point with
Solomon, but he was prepared for it. -
CIV hat says my system on this head y
said he to himself musngly. "It says
that lazy wife who lies abed in the
morning may be very properly reminded
of her duty by the iudicious application
of coercion PIN And this magnif-
cent idea had scarcely crossed the TIRES
hold of his brain pan, than no inserted
the point of a huge pin in the right arm
of the sleeper. AS might be expected
the intended effect instantly followed the
cause, for the astonished Mrs Swallow
sprang from the bed as though she had
been thrown from it by an earthquake !!
But alas, her agility was too strikingly
manifested, for she not only almost an
initiated poor Solomon in rolling over
him, but she dashed his patent lever to
the wall, and broke the dial into thous-
and pieces
"What dreadful Dream" calculated
Mrs. Swallow pressing her left hand on
her wounded arm
"What a dreadful reality" shouted
Mr.. Swallow, contemplating the fragile
ruins of his demolished time piece
Here we pass over the interval between
this occurrence and the time when the
happy pair in question were seated at
breakfast.
"Now, Mrs. Swallow" said Solomon,
"seeing that | can't awaken to call you
up in the morning, or cat burned toast,
or drink raw tea. etc. it is time | should
begin to instruct you in your duties"
"And what are those, Mr.. Swallow 2"
BE silent madam, if you please: not
to talk, but listen, is one Of the most i'm
portant of them"
Proceed sir"
And Mr. Swallow, looking daggcrs at
her for second interruption, proceeded
"From six till eight you are to get up,
dress quietly. so as to create no disturb
ancc, light fire, air clothing and stock
ings, sweep rooms, prepare breakfast and
announce the perfection thereof Eight
till ten wash tea things, make beds, rub
furniture and clean windows. Ten to
twelve, 90 to the market and prepare
dinner. Twelve till two, to devote to
dish washing, sweeping up ard rubbing
the furniture. Two to six, spinning.
mending clothes and darning stockings
Seven, tea. From that time till nine,
second course Of mcnding and darning,
and then 90 to bed And this daily
course. madam, with strict observance
of the rules of civility. frugality, deco
rum and obedience, may in time enable
you TO do honor to the choice of Mr..
Solomon Swallow"
Mrs Swallow listened quietly to the
end and then mildly inquired
"And do you really expect this of me,
Mr.. Swallow 2"
"To be sure / do" responded her
spouse.
Then you'll be sadly disappointed,
for shall do no such thing.
Nor
emo"
GIVE way to make yon."
GLOW p
Spoon diet, locks, chains and cow
hide"
"Mr Swallow"
What"
"You're brute - and Mrs. Swallow
threw herself back and looked desperate.
Now this was climax. Mr.. Swallow
was called brute at his own firesidc,
and by his own wife, which was the worst
Of all. He. Solomon Swallow, the ccle-