The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1874-09-23
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binary beauty. Her charms made
snch an impression on Prince Talley-
rand that in contemplating them he
was often deficient in his attentions to
her highly gifted mother. One day,
being with party of pleasure on the
water, she determined to confound
him, and put this question: "If our
vessel was to be wrecked by q storm,
which would you strive to save first
me or my daughter?" MADAM" in
stantly replied Talleyrand, "with the
many talents and requirements you
possess, it would be an affront to you
to suppose that you cannot swim. I
should therefore deem it my duty to
save the Baroness first"
A Frenchman went into store at
Quechee, VI, the other day and asked
for a bottle of liniment, the name of
which the clerk didn't clearly under
stand, but a bottle of oinment was
handed to him, and he was asked if
that was the kind he desired. "Oui,
oui p replied the Frenchman, "she be
it, she be It'll" The next day the doc
tor was called to attend the family
where the ointment had been carried,
when it was discovered that it had
been freely used in seasoning pies, in
the place of extract of lemon for
which the the man had been sent to
the store.
A noted pearl-diver of Atlantic
City is making arrangements for a
hazardous undertaking. He proposes
to test the virtue of a newly-invented
life-preserver by being carried from
New York in steamer to a distance
of not less than two hundred miles
from land, and there left to the mercy
of the waves until he shall meet
passing vessel. He will carry with
him rations for week also signal
lights and flags, all being slowed away
in a rubber bag about two feet square.
He is confident of success but tho
undertaking looks, to common minds,
like hazardous one.
The Lewiston (Me) Gazette tells Of
lady in that city who,. finding no
needles in the cushion where she US
ually kept them, concluded to irvesti-
gate the interior Of the cushion, which
had been in use sixteen years. She
thought few, very few, of the thou
sands of needles which had penetrated
the bran might have gone through the
covering, though no amount of pinch
ing and squeezing revealed their pres
ence there. She accordingly dissected
the cushion, and found mine of over
four hundred needles, all in a good
state of preservation.
While Mr.. Lewis Barlow, of New
port, Mass, was fishing, lately, back of
Fort Walcott, he noticed huge sword
fish coming in the direction of his
boat, and before he could prepare for the
emergency the fish ran his sword
through the bow of the boat and made
hole about foot long. The boat
Immediately filled with water, and Mr..
Barlow's situation was anything but
pleasant. Fortunately q man was
passing who rescued him and towed
his boat to the shore.
"Mother," said little Ned one morn
ing after having fallen out of bed, 81
think know why / fell out of bed
last night. 1t was because l slept too
near where l got in" Musing little
while, as if in doubt whether he had
given the right explanation, he added,
"No, that want the reason; it was be-
cause l slept too near where fell
out"
"Your Honor" said a prisoner to a
Paris judge, "my lawyer is not here,
and l request delay of the case for
eight days" "But," said the judge,
"you were caught in the act of theft,
what can any lawyer say for your"
"That is just what l should like to
hear" said the prisoner, and the court
laughed, but sentenced him to year.
An old hard-shelled Baptist preach
er, over in Boyle county Kentucky,
once said that he had been trying
"nigh onto forty year to get rich and
serve the Lord at the same time; but
he had found such a course mighty
hard sleddin'."
The remark of little eight year
old was in accordance with the wish of
many people. Mother" said he, 81
wish L was built like hen coop, out
of laths and then the breeze could
blow right through me"
A rather peculiar man is Judge
Keith, of Virginia, who, after issuing
warrants for the recent arrest of Mos
by and Payne for dueling, mounted
his horse and rode out to see the en-
counter.
A person was boasting that he was