The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-05-11

Ministers W. Ministers.
Dr.. j. ID. Fulton believes in cold for othse
people. but manages to keep himself in hot
water most of the time He has been in
Brooklyn only q few months, but has already
succeeded in getting our neighbors ON the
other side Of the mythical bridge in pretty
general snarl. He is evidently an admirer Of
Darwin, believing that he and his people arc
only one remove from the quadrupeds. and
takes as his familiar motto the classic lines W
were taught when as boys we pulled each
others hair
Let dogs delight to bark ana bite,
For tits their nature to.
He began his career by assuming the
championship Of cold water in bulk His de-
traditions, which prescribed the exact number
of gallons of the aqueous fluid which should
symbolic regeneration. It was getting ready
to move en- masse towards that central point
of union which history has been predicting 10
be the end Of religious effort and the begin
ing of the millennium. This was too much for
our Boanerges, who raised the cry of alarm
at once and gasped for more water. BE
threatened to disfellowship any man who was
willing to be baptized in less than his
own tank would hold No matter how true
q mans life might be, or how correct his
theology, or how large and wholesome his in
fuence; unless he was willing to be extrava-
CANT with the Croton his doom was sealed
here and hereafter. Business men look on
ct these clerical vagaries and laugh at an
institution which can tolerate them, and which
can so belittle itself as to allow such partisan
view to have any influence whatever. Wall
street does not care whit whether man has
been baptized with the few drops that fall
from the clergyman's fingers or with the ebb
and flow of the whole Atlantic; but it does
care great deal about the honesty, moral
principle and high toned rectitude of which
both forms Of baptism are the type. Such
narrow-minded attention to the mere details
of form indicates q carelessness of essential
things which makes man bigot instead Of
q Christian. The world has an idea, tho
growth Of practical experience for generations,
that the business of the Church is to make
honorable men, men of integrity in the
administration of Office and profession, and
is utterly regardless Of the cut Of his
clothes, the shape of his hat or tho
particular church he attends. If mem
prefer sixty or hundred gallons
of water, let them have it; if, on the other
hand, they are satisfied with as many drops,
why quarrel about it and refuse to treat them
with common courtesy2 This attempt to
make all men walk in single file and in each
others tracks is, so far as social economy Is
concerned, whatever may be the religious re-
suit, dead failure Until you can make all
eyes blue and at every foot to number seven
boot, men will have their own notions about
these things, and do not propose to be called
to account by any self-elected Daniel come to
Judgment.
Another mountain throe and mouse birth
has taken place in Chicago. Professor Patten,
intended to swing Swing, and has only sue
ceeded in getting laughed at himself. he
was under the impression that the Professor
needed coaching in theology. He had said
something very respectful about bald-headed
Socrates, and intimated that Plato was not
half SO much of heather as we were taught
when we were schoolboys, and capped the
horrible climax of heresy by openly declaring
that it is perfectly right to laugh at odd times.
when you have nothing else to do,
and even to dance with your brothers
and sisters and to play checkers
with your grandfather. This long catalogue
of crimes was brought before the Council in
detail, and, alas failed to produce the proper
effect It indicated fearful lapse from the
good old times, when such men as Patten
carried thumbscrew in each of their coat
pockets and lighted the fires by which
cremation was practically exemplifed. The
Council came, heard, and went home. There
was no more sense in its proceedings than
in the old rhyme Of Hickory Dickory Dock.
When ministers play the roll of tattlers, and
solemnly meet to retail the gossip of the
sewing bees, the world begins to feel that
until the farce ends it win not go to the play.
To have good nose for heresy seems to
be the highest ambition of some people,
who are never so gleeful as when they come
across good heap of social garbage.
| It is somewhat refreshing to turn from
these theological pedler's carts, whose small
wares disgust all sensible people, to genu-
inc instance of selt-sacrifce for the sake Of
principle The Episcopal church has times
when it is affected very much as Mount We
suvius is, and when it can find relief from its
internal agony only by getting rid of dis
turbing elements. Some of its very best young
men have of late had quiet kind ofinvitation
to leave the arms of the mother church, and
great many more are in the act of packing
their trunks. A few Sundays since Rev. Mr..
Sabine, in q very manly sermon, gave ample
reasons for not remaining under the old roof
any longer. He refuses to go into the pulpit
with ball and chain. He prefers being .