The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1874-10-03
BLABS.

BLABS.
The blab belongs to the very worst class
Of laxative people. He can neither guard
his own secrets nor other peoples. When
he goes abroad he keeps his eyes open..a and
his mouth in the same condition. II
would simply be waste of time to endeavor
to convince him that still tongue showeth
something more than wise head to wit,
considerate nature. As rule, he is one
Of those stolid, unimpressionable people,
whose selfconseiousnes is such that they
can never be induced to depart even from
an evil course. Fond Of joke, he is
utterly careless at whose expense he gets
it proud to be the retailer of news which
at once gain him an attentive hearing, he
is by no means particular who suffers so
long as his vanity is gratifcd by him being
regarded as an interesting person. Go
abroad with party Of which he forms
one, and his eagle eye will never cease to
follow you, detecting your movements in
the most remote and gloomiest of corners.
In the event of your speaking civilly to
Browns wife he will gleefully dance about,
declaring il he were Brown he would look
after her, and you, too. Have the small
est bit of stiff" with your better half,
and he will rejoice at being afforded some
slight ground for saying that you and she
lead u terrible cat-and-dog life, and that it
would not surprise him if there were an
application for a judicial separation before
long. Let young Smith hand Miss Robin
son plate of bread and butter or cup
of tea, and he is on the q,i viue at once
while, if the gallant gentleman goes SO far
as to inquire of the lady, in a seemingly
confidential manner, whether she is warm,
or cool, or what not, his state Immediately
becomes one of not little excitement, and
he is afterward acutely on the alert to
detect the further acts Of enormity into
which those who are the objects of his
disinterested scrutiny may be led. Ifthey
will but slightly detach themselves from
the main body of the company they may
happen to be in, and appear as if they are
trife interested in each other, his rap
lures and jocosity rise to an Undesirable
pitch. Right willing he squares the circle
Of his acquaintance, and inquiries of them,
after he has gayly poked their ribs,
whether they have noticed this, that, and
the other, his queries being accompanied
by series Of suggestive winks, significant
gestures, and entertaining grimaces. He
seems to deem it his duty to report all that
he sees to people whom he meets, long
after the occurrences related have grown
old, and it is curious thing that the
oftener his reports are retailed the more
ford they become, until, at last, one might
be excused for thinking that they had no
connection, remote or otherwise, with tho
affair they related. When matters have
reached this amusing stage, blab number
two, in the form Of one of those good
natured friends of whom the world is SO
full, steps in, and does his best to make
matters worse. The unhappy young man
is informed Of great deal that has been
said by blab number one aud other people,
also Of great deal that has not been said.
He is told in roundabout fashion that
he is thought to be fool or villain, as
the case may be further, that the impress
sion Is that he is making an ass of himself
or being made an ass of, he being kindly
left at liberty to choose which view Of the
case he deems most fiattering to himself.
All this is confded to the hapless beings
eur as if it were profound secret, but il is
a very great mistake to suppose that the
blab will do otherwise than his best to
make it common property. 1t appears 10
be his aim to mako people thoroughly
uncomfortable by confding to them what
he declares, confdentially, other people
say, and there is good reason for believing
that he does not always content himself
with mere humdrum reporting, but fire.
quently makes his powerful imagination do
good service. II you are on bad terms
witAsny individual, he win take care to
let you know that this individual is in the
habit Of ayowing the greatest contempt for
you if you have written a book, painted
picture, or made a speech, he will kindly
lead you % understand that many persons
are laughing at you on The score Of what
you have done,