Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1874-01-16
Mr.. Forbes and the Pepper.

THE housewife will do we'll to keep her
surplus pepper in loose paper on an up
per shelf Mrs Forbes, of Nelson street,
is distinguished for that trait of domestic
government. Mr.. Forbes keeps the piece
Of mutton tallow with which he strength
ems his boots in a piece of paper also.
We don't pretend to say that Mr.. Forbes
puts this mutton tallow on an upper shelf,
or any shelf at all, when he gets through
with it. We wouldn't dare say this in
face of the fact that Mr.. Forbes has al
ways to search for that tallow, and al
ways appears surprised when it is handed
him. But he keeps it in a paper, and the
advent of snow Saturday morning, prompt
ed him to look for it, Mrs. Forbes had
her attention attracted toward him by his
getting down on his knees to peer under
the stove, and by remark he incidental
ly dropped to the effect that che bet he'd
build house yet that he could put a
thing in and find it again." She asked
him what he was looking for, but he pre-
served moody silence and continued the
search, taking the kettles out from behind
the sink, and scrutinizing each one with
unrelenting severity. "Why don't you
tell me what you are looking for?" de-
manded Mrs. Forbes. "None of your
businessr' said he snappishly. "I don't
believe you know what you are looking
for retorted Mrs. Forbes, and appeared
to receive much consolation from the re-
mark eff things were left where they
were put" explained Mr.. Forbes, now
thoroughly exasperated, "they could be
found again" Whatever observation
Mrs. Forbes contemplated venturing in
reply to this was abruptly cut off by the
advent of neighbor who wanted to con-
suit her in regard to the trimming of a
cloak. Mrs. Forbes hastily adjourned to
the sitting-room, and Mr.. Forbes passed
into the pantry to explore the shelves.
Bits of paper peeping over the edge OF
he upper shelf Immediately attracted his
attention, and he proceeded to take them
down. Now woman would have taken
chair for this purpose, that she might
better see what she was doing, but a man
rarely desends to the weakness of wo-
man. AS long as the contents of shelf
can be reached he does not care to see
the shelf itself And so Mr.. Forbes stood
on his tip-toes, and reaching mp began to
drag down the paper parcels. Mrs. Forbes
in the sitting-roOm with the neighbOr,
and completely engrossed in the particu-
lars of the new cloak, was startled out OF
her chair by partly smothered
oath and fully-developed bound,
and out of her senses by a piercing
shrek and terrific crash, and flying
into the kitchen found the breakfast table
tipped over, and the portly and conserva-
tive Mr.. Forbes prancing in among the
ruins of crockery and food madly rub
bing his eyes, and sneezing most vocifer-
ously. The poor woman was immediate
ly made aware of the cause of the mishap.
His passionate reference to pepper in pa
per packages, to the awful stupidity of
the female sex, and to future world, all
of which, most singularly jumbled togeth-
er, needed no unraveling to mike them
more explicit. She dragged him to the
sink; she dashed cold water in his face
and down his back and bosom; she
rubbed his ears and pounded him be-
tween the shoulders, and besought him
with flushed face and fearful eyes
"not to carry on and make such an idiot
of himself" But it was some time, even
under her skillful treatment, before he
could stife his screams and profanity, and
venture to open his bleared and infamed
| eyes; and it was not until she had said
| eight times that if she had only told her
what he wanted this might have been
saved" did he feel sufficiently recovered
| to dash into that pantry and demolish
that shelf.-Dandpa,y Neaos.