Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-11-06

From the San Francisco Golden Age.l
He was a tall boy, was Jones, and he
lived out on the divide. No one ever
thought of calling him man, though
he stood six feet without stockings
Stockings he regarded as effetninacy only
INDUCED in by tender.footed people, and
if there was anything that Jones prided
on, more than his ear, it was his feet.
1t was often remarked that Jones feet
would require separate coffin when he
petered out" On the divide he was
generally considered to be a capitalist,
because his subsistence came without
effort on his part And the divide"
was right-majorities always are. Jones
capital stock consisted of his ear-the
other one had been ''chawed off extern
poraneously by ruthless Pike" who
once accused Jones of washing his face
twice in a month. jones spurned the
insult, and without more ado, proceeded
to furnish subject for his private grave
yard; but the opposing party in the
skirmish managed to encrcle Jones ear
with his incisors and gently pulled 1t of.
The effort was too great for human en-
durance-iu two minutes the bitist was
corpse through strangulation. They
buried the ear with him, and had double
funeral service read. AS the corpse was
being inferred Jones remarked: There
wuz' Mt such another ear in Nevayda. "
His consolation was that it killed the
man any way.
From thence dated Jones fortune.
With two ears there was some symmetry,
but with that unapproachable ear only
remaining, he became the standing won
der of the divide" In its capacious
depth he carried his tobacco-in the
summer time he had but to wag and the
air on the divide became zephyr
in winter he had only 10 watt a portion
of it over his head and the rain ran of
in cataracts.
divide" mothers reclaimed their
wayward broods by its mention, and di-
vorce suits arose irem odious cempari-
son.
But aside of these internal discussions,
the divide was proud of that ear.
They took strangers to see it, and won
money betting on its size. The divide
parson once tainted on seeing Jones
ear fill the doorway, but Jones famed
him back to consciousness again, and
the next Sundays sermon was on the
text, "Ye that have ears and hear not.
When Bill Stewart, the bald-headed
eagle of Nevada, was passing through
the divide" he called on Jones ear,
and remarked that it kind of crawled off
with anything in the State-and there
was some pretty assinine ones there.
Jones didn't understand foreign Ian
guages, but said that William was
bully galoot."
Alas and alas Great men we cannot
always have with us. One fair morning
the divide " woke up to a sensation.
Jones was found outside the camp stiff
and cold, his ear clean cut off and no
where visible. They buried him tenderly
and shed few tears. Then they started
to find the ear, because without it the
divide " could never again hold up its
head.
They found it in the bottom OF shaft,
but, sad to relate, it was too far gone to
be kept. Hauling it up TO the surface,
they all took a last farewell aud then
dumped it back again. They filed up
the shaft aud read another funeral SER
vice. 1t was the only honor to be done
but it is not every man who has three
funerals.
And it may be remarked that there
never was and never will be such phe-
nomenal ear as Jones.