The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-09-08
My LandIady,s ChIckens.

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1NA Statistics,'' from habit she has of
Informing you Of the price Of everything you
cat, is one Of the fem ales who delight in
markets and auctions, and many have been
the chairs and tables sent home by her that
required more patching and fixing up than
a subject before a congressional investiga-
ting committee. A while ago she bought
two dozen live chickens. They were rather
skinny looking things, and she had no
place to keep them in but they were
cheap, so she bought them. Having no
other place, she put them in the cellar.
Mr.. Dobbs lives at our house. don't
know that you know Dobbs, but he is great
fun, and is always getting into scrapes,
though without the least intention of doing
SO, for he is solemn old customer. He
has the first floor, and his particular hobby
is fresh air. He is always talking about
circulation of air. The cellar door is on a
range with his rooms, SO he likes to have it
open. Well, "Statistics" had securely
fastened her chickens up in the cellar. When
Dobbs came home after dinner, he noticed
the door being fastened, and instantly rec
titled that little mistake, and retired into
his rooms to take nap.
Robinson also boards at our house. He
is great society man, and pays great atten-
tion to his "get up" On this particular
day he had gotten himself up in gorgeous
array to attend croquet party, and was
descending the stairs, in all the glories of
white vest, pants, button-hole bouquet--in
fact, everything en- regle-and thinking
what stunning fellow he was, when his
rather conceited musings were brought to
an end by his coming in contact with
flock of some kind of animals that, in his
confusion, he could not tell whether they
were elephants or ostriches.
You see, the chickens were of an inquir-
ing turn of mind, and when Dobbs opened
the door they assembled, and on reaching
the second story received the first check to
their curiosity by the descending Robinson.
They commenced squeaking as only chick
ems can squeak, and showed their displeas-
ure by landing on his head, arms, vest, or
wherever they could obtain foothold.
The cellar is rather wet and muddy; you
can guess how Robinson's white vest &C.,
looked. t.n "Hg cf. H q
Old "Statistics'' heard the row and rush
ed up, vowing blue vengeance on the open
er of that cellar door. Then commenced
an organized hunt after those chickens,
participated in by "Statistics" and all the
Africans OF the house, and some of the
inmates. If you have ever tried to catch a
chicken, you "know how it is yourself :"
now you have it and now you don't. They
flew up into the most impossible places,
feathers flew, darkies swore, and there was
big time generally.
Miss Slumens thought the noise was
fire, and shrieked " fire" out the window !;
whereupon some energetic individual struck
the alarm, and in few minutes the fire de-
in working order. Dobbs threw open his
window to explain, and received straight
from the hose more cold water than he
ever had in his life. Meanwhile an excited
but would-be-useful crowd rushed in, tore
up the hall carpet and stair carpet in spite
of landlady's protestations. After half the
things were torn up and half flooded
with water, the affair was explained and
the house cleared, the chickens captured,
Except one which I found that night, like
Poe's Raven, perched about 'imy chamber
door."D The way Robinson blessed Dobbs
was caution, though the blessings were
very much disguised. He kept on at
fearful rate, until suggested that T" curses
like young chickens, come home to roost''
AS he had had enough of that he quit. 1t
was not safe to say "chickens" to Dobbs,
Robinson or "Statistics" for some time.
AS for me, ] enjoyed seeing them skirmish-
ing round, and would not care if they had
a chicken hunt every week,