Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-03-12

Ny worthy stripping, as you cannot see,
will cause you 10 feel that you are received
al the door on the three points OF pitch
fork, piercing the REGION of the stomach,
which is 10 teach you the three great virtues
faith. hope and charity. Faith inyOurself,
hcpe for cheaper faIni machinery, ind
charity for the lightning-rod peddler. You
Will now be harnessed a.iu in representa-
ton Of the horse, Pegasus, will be tested
as 10 endurance and wind.
The. candidate is here attached to a small
imitation plow, by means OF a hempen har-
ness. A dried pumpkin-vine is put in his
m3uth for Bit and bridie-he is made TO
get down upon all fours, the guide SEXES
the bride, and urged on by granger armed
with Ca1rlda thistle, which he vigorously
appiies az tie terminus Of the spine, the
candidate IS galloped three times around
tie room. While making the circuit the
members arise and sing:
Get up and dust. You bully boy
Who wouldn't be a granger
II the Jhstle's I-ick don't cause yOu JOY,
1oseeling your . strangeE.
After this violent exercise he is rubbed
DIV with cOrn-cObs. beeswaXed where this
Led, and brought standing up before the
GREET chief-the most woTshipful pumpkin
head.
NJ. W. P. H.-Why do you desire to be
granger
That I may learn to extinguiSh sewing
machine agents.
NJ. W. 7. H.-Haye your hands been
hardened with toll?
Candidate-NOt extensively, but then l
ant ro' rrrnirg ffr Office.
NJ. w. z. HTS well. for our lodges
contain several who are supposed TO be
ready to sacrifice themselves for the good Of
their constituents. Do you feel pretty
smart The evening"
Candidate--1 es. where the buztles goes
Oh"
VI. ". p. H.-(sayagely}-Giye me a
Chaw ii tobaCkCr,
Candidate searching himself thoroughly,
but as there IS no place about him to stick
pocket. tries 10 explain, but the most
woTShipful pumPkin-head interrupts him:
Never mind, nv dear young friend. l
am we'll aware tnat in your present eondis
ton. You can no more furnish your friends
with the weed than Adam could be COM
Portable in plug Ia. and tight boots. II
Is merely 10 teach YOU the great lesson Of
Z y
Iika 10 haze them DO TO vOu, You will
now be conducted 10 the most eminent
squash producer. who will teach YOU the
grand hailing sign Of distress. The sign,
nv dear brother, viii insure Won. against
many of tie ills Of the agricUiturist-
among others, against drOughts and being
bit by the f-TJci0uS grassLopPer.
Tie candidate is u0w conducted to the
.r.rTr.avrt lfrrra=1, r.rn1ltF.r.
sa-S: NV worthy brcther. will VOW in
vest you wiki the order Of tire festive
VlOughSoy. which YOU nave we'll Won on
your heroic achievement while harnessed;
,r-, 20, ever vycs it with pleasure TO your
self and may It be 4 means Of terror to
your enemies.
lThc ". E. s. p. then proceeds to invest
the candidate with the regatta Of the Festive
mouSnUOy, v iiCnUJnsisis Oh atOnatO neC&-
lace.) The grand hailing sign of distress
is made by gently closing the left eye, lay
ing the right loFe-tinger alongside the nose,
and Violently waGging the ears. ltTcquireS
practice. but The advantages ere intense. II
al-~ his an isdpO. ant Specification, Eich
YOU will do well to heed. The closing of
the eve signifies that in al your dealings
with mankind Won are bound TO have an
eye to business. Laying the finger along
side the nose is emblem8tical Of wisdom,
and places yuu ~ once sm"nS the know
inc 0n6s' This is extremely handy IN
demonstrating new weather, and saves
the wear and tear Of almanacS. Wag-
ginC the ears signifies subiimity Of pW
nose. IS is thought to be emblemltic Of
'childhocd's happy hours II is also sup
posed bv some profound scholars 20 hive
distinct reference to apple-dumplinGS, but
this fact is somewhat obscure by the dust Of
aces. In token that YOU are one of US, YOU
will now be branded. This ceremony is
impressive and consists Of two brands.
They are both applied while the iron is
hot and consists of one letter of the al
nhabet each. The first is 4 large letter 5,
on which YOU will please sit while the oth-
er letter is applied to the stomach. The
letter ;. nv worthy chicken, signifies scoop
g I, and refers to railroad mOnOpOlicS. Tie
second letter is G. and is applied, as | said
before, to the stomach. IL has a double
meaning. First, the application is an agri-
cultural one, corn crib and has reference
to the stomach, and being the great recep-
taCle for Bourbon Risky. But, brother,
do not be diligent Ia findinga hOme-market
for yOur corn. Ilsp second application Of
the letter c. NY distracted infant, IS got
hold Of rs Follows: When one granger
desires to ascertain for sure whether there
is another OF the order in the room, he
raises himself gently by the slack Of his
Of his unmentiOHables, scratches his OFF
thigh with his near hoOf. and remarks in
voice Of thunder: care there any Changers
about?' The answer is 'JeeSe wax The
inquirer then SAYS, slet lis see deter c..
and the other party must Immediately pull
ont his stomach and disclose the brand.
These brands are applied in such a manner
that am enabled TO assure you that they
will wash
l was here interrupted, Mr.. Editor, by
vOlley fred into the open window, evident
" intended for me. Fortunately l escaped
without a scratch, and which is Of more
consequence, succeeded in fetching of my
precious manuscript. This is about all
there is in the ceremony Of any importance.
| must leave the country at once. Armed
men are at my heels; they know l am writ
ing to expose them. You may hear from
me again by mail, if I should deem it best
to expose the other degrees. Until then.
adieu. From your sacred Trend,
Il. POLE.