The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-07-30
NUMBER 8
ParaEraphs Of An Sort

a pair Of draves-A span of truck
horses.
The hymn for the Centennial-old
Hundred.
COnceit-An ass who imaginss himself
to be an elephant.
Aim high. bat not so high as not 10 be
able to hit anything.
An unpleasant sort of arithmetio-Di-
vision among families.
The cremationists in Rhode Island ma
turally go for Burnside tor Senator.
Mary Powell is being painted by Two
men. She is Poughkeepsie boat.
Why is grass like penknife? Because
the spring brings out the blades.
Farmers gather what they SOW, while
eesmstresses-sow what they gather.
The Worcester, Mass, crusaders have
stormed printing Office. Nobody
killed.
Mrs. Cree, who took second husband
the other day, evidently wanted 10 ere.
mate.
liza man dreams the devil il after him
it is q sign he 6sd better settle his sub
scription bill.
Dabbs thinks that instead of giving
credit where credit is due, the cash had
better be paid.
A Maine woman has hair seven feet and
five inches long-too long to be available
for the use Of butter.
"Hypochondriacism is an elegant word
for which the world is indebted 70 the
Cincinnati Gazette.
Owing to the stormy weather on Satur-
day of last week, only five ladies went to
be divorced in st. Louis.
A cynic says marriage is very often
dull book with very fine preface. Some
times it is "half calf" too.
A Toast.-Woman: the last and best of
the series-if We may have her for e toast
we won't ask for any butcher.
An Indiana man was lately buried in
coffin made from tree which he planted.
how happy he must have been
Charles Lamb, in speaking Of one of his
rides on horseback, that "all at once the
horse stopped, but kept right on"
The proposition to introduce ladies as
view Of the fact that their trains are al
ways behind.
The New Bedford Mass., editors are
collecting big eggs b = means Of artful little
paragraphs praising the persons who send
in the eggs.
What is the difference between Jew
and q laRyer2 The one gets hls law from
the prophets, and the other his profits
from the law.
The San Francisco sea captain who tra-
ded the ships Bible for thirteen plugs Of
tobacco is spoken of very severely By the
religious press Of that city.
Why are the ladies the biggest thieves
in existencs2 Because they steel their
petticoats, bone their stays, crib their ba-
bies and hook their dresses.
"Don't quaker ever take of his hat 10
anyone, mamma7 No, my dear" "If
he don't take of his hat to a barber, how
does he have his hair cut?"
Think Of it, BIr. Bobbs, the United
States drinks $50, 100000 worth Of spirits
every year r, Bobbs (excitedly)-"How
wish Was the United States r
Now that the word "hymeneal" is so
commonly used in reference TO wedding,
it is suggested that births should DO head
ed "cryneneaP and deaths "diemen-
eal."
Autographs of @. Washington now cell
in Philadelphia for dollar apiece. Pret.
ty seon it will be necessary to offer
chrome with these signatures to sell them
at all.
We cannot find room for the song ssnt
Us, beginning, Gill up with wine your
flowing bowels" The spelling is not cor
rect.
A Cincinnati reporter says that there
is something grand in pair Of runaway
horses, but we believe that good deal de-
peuds on whether man is on fence or
trying to climb over the end board OF the
wagon.
A man who has travelled through New
Jerssy says. that he saw some land there
so poor that you couldn't raise d.stur-
hanc0 on IL.