St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-04-10
Squibs.

Squibs.
Said a great Congre esatonal preacher
To a hen You re II beautiful creature
The hen just for that
Laid two eggs ill his hat
And thus did the Henreward Beecher
Dio Lewis is the man who kept 1t
Utica audience until 1870. explaining
to them the good results of going to bed
promptly at 9.
A superannuated minister says, Il
have been guilty of doing one thing for
which the church will not forgive me :
| have grown Old
The Pittsburgh Leader prints half its
advertisements upside down for the ac-
commodation OF readers who habitually
stand on their leads.
The Danbury philosopher observes
that the placidity of expression worn
by a man who is next in a full bar
ber's shop cannot be rounterfeited.
\ slip of paper uii the doorpost of u
New York boarding house, announcing
lodgings to let. warns intending appli
camts that No performers on brass in
strumemts need apply"
The man who invcuts IL pew stool
that a worShiper can approach with his
foot, without having it fly up and make
:, noise in the middle of II sermon, will
>upplant an Aston in wealth and IA
Washington i'll fame Ddnbury NeTs.
\ Peoria naturalist, in attempting to
warm the ears of frozen wasp over
gas jet. discovered that the tail of the
insect thawed ont first, and worked
with a rapidity that was AS astonishing
us the hideouS profanity of the natur
ali>t. who held the insect bv the tail
while thus experimenting.
a striking and novel annexation OH
the holy Scriptures was made in Il New
York Herald leader the other day. III
these words: None of the pigeons are
more thoroughly sNmbolical than the
cock which crew thrice in the night,
and whose growing WAS of the most
significance to Il person whose character
no one admires. Judas went and
hanged himself when he had heard the
cock crow thee times" No previous
commentator. we believe. has stated
that it was a cock pigeon that crew,
and 1t has not been customary to con
meet Judas with the occurrence, but
the religious character of the Herald
settles these points.
\ lady who had charge of Il young
lady's Bible class. speaking of home
training. said that her best pupil, II
wears of age. had caused her the most
acute anxiety. Rain or shine she was
always at her post. The girls whole
soul seemed absorbed in the straighten
ing out of intricate theological prob
lens land vet" said the teacher. 1.-The
girl was So pale and wan that | was
afraid every Sunday would he her last
M tn, class. One day she tainted, and
in tylIug to restore her | lOosened her
dress. and what do yOl think | found
CuGset- 50 tightly draw q that full re
spiration was impOs> hlc. ! removed
them and found the ,!rl> ribs actually
Tapped. took her To her mother, II
very useful and prominent church men,
her and stated the case without reserve.
Well, you see. said the parent. Fanny
never had any figure. | shouldn't he
surprised if the lacings we're drawn
little too tight. Her waist is naturally
80 large that it is almost impossible to
make any thing fit genteelly on her
How is your class prospering, Miss
| hope you are drawing many souls to
Christi.
A writer in Old and New proposes
the biggest job ever undertaken. He
good citizeh before being turned loose
among other good citizens, and that he
shall be kept So afterward.
Why couldn't Homer Kimberly wait
He was ~ Years old. well-to-dO, healthy,
cheerful and rreproachable-yet he
hanged himself, the other day, at Bata
via. y. \. He had, it is true. two sous
III the New York custom-hOuse.
The Lowell Courier relates the fol
lowing: A gentleman of this city
clergyman. by the way-who WAS
confined To his residence IL short time
since 10y an uncomfortable boil, was be
ing condoled with by sympathizing
lady. who innoccntly inquired after the
location of the offender. oh saws the
divine. If il WAS on my nose ! could
>ii bat | can't DOW.
\ Yale student. who is evidently in
the JOURNALISTIC" department, writes
twclvc-vrr>e poem which is entitled,
I'VE kissed each other by the sea"
well. what of it ?" asks a Western
journalist; ''the seaside is no better for
such practices than any other locality.
In fact. we have put in some very sweet
work of that kind on the tOwpath of II
canal III our time, but did not say any
thing about it i'll print"
/ BANKRUPT LAW Sambo, what yOui
| 'pinion ob de bankrupt law p
''Tink um fus-rate, Pompey.r
Il imply for the appcllation myself.
Just splain him's principles"
"Why, you see here, now, just len