The Portland daily press., 1874-01-30
THE PRESS.
FRIDAY MORNING, JAN. 30, 1877

Spain is nice place to raise chickens,
They have so many coups there.
A New York Herald reporter is said to
have committed suicide yesterday in search
OF DIR. Livingstone.
Oohner or Tahoe Lake, which has been
ted unfathomable, turns out to be In
fact just 200 feet deep.
"Why do you set your cup of coffee on the
chair, Mr.. Jones?" said landlady at break.
fast. "It is so weak, madam, thought ]
would let it rest.'
An applicant for pair of boots at one o.
our shoe shops was asked what number he
wore, and replied as soon as he could recov-
er from his surprise, 'Why, two, Of course. -
The New York Commercial Advertiser has
been investigating the origin of the Grangers,
and concludes that the first was Nebuchad-
nazzar
"Jack," said a man to lad just entering
his teens, ''your father is drowned" "Hang
it," replied the young hopeful, "and he's got
my jack-knife in his pocket"
Ohio papers say that the report of the kill
Christmas day, particulars of which were tele,
graphed East, was only "sell." Queer
Christmas amusement, that!
There is literary family in South Brook
fyn whose juvenile members "develop" rap
idly. The father told one of his little girls
the other day that she was ga thing of beau
ty," and she meekly replied that she would
rather be "a boy forever"
Professor Proctor seems to have been guilty
of paradox. In one of his recent lectures
he distinctly stated that there was no animal
life on the moon, "and yt immajetly afther,"
says Felix O'Fyne, che showed Us hape of
lunar craters.''
The fumes for shooting lumber at various
places on the Pacific coast region are immense
affairs. One to carry lumber from the Sierras
to Chico is to be forty miles long, thirty miles
of which are already constructed, and the 9TH
er ten miles will be finished in sixty days.
Boy-"Mamma, papa is getting very rich,
isn't he%' Mamma" don't know; why,
child?" Boy" Cause he gives me so much
money. Almost every morning after break
fast, when Sallie is sweeping the parlor, he
gives me sixpence to go out and play" Sal
lie received short notice TO quit.
Senator Scott was talking to a Pennsylvania
Sunday-school, Sunday or two age, ,and ask
ed the scolars why Simon was kept in prison.
One of the teachers quietly prompted boy
tosay that it was for hostage, and the youth
not quite catching the words, pipe1 out: 'He
was detained for postage"
Alias-Mrs. Sarah Briggs (reading her Go
car'): "Sakes alive! would no m ore name q
child Alias than nothin' in the world. They're
always cutting up some caper, Here's Alias
Thompson, Alias Williams, Alias the Nigh
Hawk, all been took up for stealn'. Mary
Jane, don't ye never name none O. yer chill
dren Alias"
The other day one of our wel-known Sara
toga clergymen inquired of an Irishman
Scan you tell me where Mr.. B-resides ?''
N'Misther B. is it? Bedad an can't sur.
Suppose ye'd be AKIN Mr.. Hammond, who
keeps the cimetery. He can tell ye the resi-
denee of every man, livin' an dead, in the
village, dye mind"
George Washington's watch has reached
Detroit at last, and it is now hanging in a
pawn-broker's window, properly labelled.
Washington's only watch has for several
years been ON sale in the twenty-five leading
cities of America at the same time, and nc
one need be deferred from purchasing this
watch from fear that the stock will run ont
The eggs of the snail resemble homeopath.
ic pills, and have the most immense and as.
tonishing vitality. They may be baked in an
oven heated to a white heat, or exposed to
the temperature of an iceberg, or dried til
they crack between the fingers, and then put
away in box and left there for several years
but take them out and a portion of them will
develop into snails.
A young lady was found perambulating al
Indiana town before dawn, airily dressed in
gown and cap which should have indicated a
glance that she had been impersonatin
Might al masquerade in those well-chosel
habiliments, yet the dunderheaded Dogber
ries of the place, on getting partially aroused
accused her of somnambulism. Such stupidi
ty.
In one of our suburban tows lives an ex
cellent man, who, like others, is not avcrs
to an occasional game of euchre. The otl,e
night he took up the pack to play gam
with his little daughters, two jealous players
although of tender years. After playing TO
some time he observed that all the leading
cards were curiously but Systematically nicket
or dog-eared. Upon inquiring the reason 0
this, one of his young opponents replied
replied, ''Why, Eddy Anderson did it. III
comes in and plays with us, and he likes Il
know what cards we hold" Talk about tn
innocence of chilhood.-Boston Transcript
Mr.. O'Ciarence's hens got into the mex
yard and scratched up the garden, and tn
woman of the house came to see Mrs
O'Clarence about it, and war of words en-
sued. When Mr.. O'Clarence came home
Mrs. O'Clarence was terribly excited, an,
gave him an hysterical account of the affair
winding it up with shower of tears, and thi
triumphant declaration: - 'Well, dom
care: I had my new alpaca on any way
the mean thingv'
The Climax Of Prejudice.
The Boston Globe chronicles recent oc'
currence at tine neighboring town OF Lynn,
which demonstrates how far ignorance and a
narrow mind can carry person under the