The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1874-10-15

wish you had never ventured near Mr..
Camera, and you wonder if dear John
will like that side view of you which
shows your aquiline nose so very plainly?
The operator changes the pOise of
your arms. He pulls some hair round in
front, and puts some more behind, and
you are in agony lest that switch, which
you 50 artfully fasten on under your
own hair, will come of.
He sets the wise round little to the
left, and hangs up green tassel on the
camera for you to look at.
By this time the intense light of the
room has gone into your very brain, and
blinded your eyes, and your head feels
dizzy, and the water gathers in your
eyes, and you know that you are squint-
ing frightfully. You grow nervous, and
shuttle your feet, and twiddlc your
fingers, and wink furiously, and Mr..
Camera tells you to keep quiet or you
will spoil your picture.
All ready! at last he announces, and
he commands you to keep the tassel in
view, to look natural, and be quiet.
Then he chucks what looks like a child's
transparent slate into the machine,
throws black cloth over the whole, in
sinuates his hand under the cloth for a
moment, and then energies with his
shock of sandy hair standing on end
like "quills upon the fretful porcupine."
You feel an insane desire to look at him,
but there is that tassel.
lie takes out his watch and glares at
you for the space of half minute,
which seems to you half an hour.
Then he snatches out the slate and
dives into dark closet, and you hear
the rafting of glass shoppers in glass
bottles, and the trickling of water, and
know that your picture is being ode
veloped."
BY and by he emerges, looking very
mysterious, and holding at arms length
a nondescript piece of metal, dripping
with water, which he brings cautiously
within your angle of vision, and shows
you to yourself.
You see black, blear-cyed, wide
mouthed, forlorn- looking shadow on the
wet plate, with the bust cut square off
and q black spot at the end of the nose
like an escaped pinch of snuff, and {
brown smirch across the left cheek.
Your heart sinks within you!
The artist triumphantly asserts that i
is perfect! He never saw better like
ness! But, if you desire to, you can 81
again.
You look at the chair of torture, anG
at the wise behind it, and decline, will
thanks.
You get ON your shawl and hat, ant
depart as quickly as possible for home
but first you have to have the operator
ask you if you want the cheeks painted
SOS to be more natural, and if you fee
like paying half dollar more on dozer
to have the eyes worked up" in Indi:
ink.
You give him carte blanche, and hurr,
away, thoroughly disguised.
In two or three days the pictures com,
home. You open the package with dire
misgiving.
Just as you feared! The mouth i.
dolefully distendcd, and the eyes are
squinted, and those freckles on your
nose are dreadfully prominent, and thai
mole on your chin has swclled to lcvia
than, and, come to look at them, youl
shoulders are high!
| But your friends declare that the pic
ture is perfectly lovely and exactly like
you! and so you are compelled to be sat
isficd.
Satisfied, did we say? No, never! fo
there does not live single human bein,
who was yet thoroughly satisfied will
his own photograph.-hate Thorn, IN N
Y. Weekly.