Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-06-26
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Nothing 50 vexes n physician as to be
sent for in great haste and find little or moth
ing the matter with the patient. An emin-
ent English surgeon was once sent for gen
tenan who had received slight wound
On his arrival he sent his servant back in
great haste 10 get certain kind of plaster.
The patient turning male said. '-Sir 4 hope
there Is no danger ''lndeed there is. an
Swered the surgeon. '.for ifthe fellow doesn't
run like race-horse, the wound will be
healed before he can possibly get back
Married. in DamariscOtta, Me, ON the
18th instant, Mr.. Philander White to Mis-
Phebe Black. ''ln joining contrasts lieth
loves delight.
.'What kind ofsassiges is them ~ queried
an old lady of the young man of literature
and peanuts, a. he passed through the train
selling bananas.
trumpeter of regiment stationed at
the Cape Of Good Hope drank 50 much one
night that he could not stand up. and in
this situation his companions carried him
out in the open air and laid him down To
get cool and sober. He soon fell asleep, and
wild beast happening along and thinking
him dead. lifted him up and carried him of,
expecting to have good meal of him. The
fellow on awaking was horror-struck to find
himself in the power of a feroeious beast,
who was making off to the mountains with
him as fast as possible. But his fear brought
him TO his senses, and seizing his trumpet.
which hung about his neck, he sounded
terr ibe blast. at which the beast, think ing
he had a dead man to deal with, became a.
much frightened rs the man was with his
situation. The prey was dropped, and cap
tor and captive, equally alarmed. scampered
in opposite directions as fast as possible.
An Indian tribe in Michigan is said to
consist of an old horse, Il chief, and a demi-
john of whiskey.
At recent English wedding, while the
bridal party were kneeling around the chan
GELS, the groomsman poked the groom in the
side. he laughed. the bride laughed, and 50
did tie bridesmaids, and the clergyman re-
tired in high dudgeon from the church IL
O'Clock came, after which no marriages are
performed 50 that they had to go home,
and spend twenty-four hours cultivating a
serious frame of mind.
Where shall put this paper 50 as to be
sure to find it, tomorrow inquired Mary
Jane Of her DrOliltT tUtTlt~- Ou
ing-class. was her brothers reply.
Now it isa Pennsylvania legislator who
wishes to have suicide made a capital offence
A story is told that one of the Bangor
Pullman trains last week had new conduc-
tor. Between Portland and Bangor this
conductor lost his cap and stopped the
train ordering the engineer to back.
The engineer backed the train quite
distance and then stopped. The conductor
told him to back further. The engineer
asked for what reason. The conductor re-
piled that he was ''boss" Of that train
and for the engineer to obey orders The
latter said he would back no farther unless
it was absolutely necessary for the fast freight
was close behind and he wouldn't risk the
passengers lives. ''Confound it" says the
conductor, 81 forgot all about that freight
train. Go ahead and crowd on steam" If
the story is true that conductor will proba-
bly, be numerically joked about that cap.
"What are you doing there, you rascalf"
"Merely taking cold, SIR" at looks to me
a. If you were stealing ice." well. yss,
perhaps il will bear that construction."