Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-09-26
SOL SHORTER on DISTRACTIONS.

Mr.. G. WI noticed communi-
cation in the Tobacco Leaf Of the. 23d
inst, saying if I would keep all OBJ
struetiens off the streets, such as hogs.
cows, salt barrels, and such like, you
would go for me. Now, Mr.. George
Washington, q suppose that mustbes
your name, for l never saw az. W.
but what it stood for George Wash
ington,) if you will notice in the con-
GLIDING remarks Of my last, it is
not my intention to interfere with any
mans business, but let him go unmo-
Tested, and no man to interfere-and |
don suppose. from the way you spelt
Chronicle and few other words, in
your communication, it makes but
little difference how many obstruc-
tons are on the pavement or Streets,
for you must have bean in the same
fix john Shelton said Bill s. was when
he was trying to show how good his
sewing machine could stitch. He
stitched awhile and come to the con-
elusion the darned thing was making
two rows at once. fsYe
i Again. Mr.. g. W., I don't propose
to be the peoples Mayor, but the
towns. So you see if you want
Mayor that will attend to all these lit
tie matters, you must go for Capt. Tom
Smith or Mike Sullivan-for they are
for the people and the town, but, mind
your eye, Primas, l want your vote,
for | must have an office. What harm
does these little distractions do, lay
ing around loose in aItown like this?
IF a body should happen to snag a
little hole in her dress against salt
barrel, if she would just call on Guss
Harrison or Charlie Anglen or Jack
Atkins or johnny Coulter, either of
them can tell her exactly where she
could get another. If a man goes
stumbling along loose over COWS, hogs,
dogs and chicken coops, and curb
stone should fly up and cut bats
nest over his left eye, here are Drs.
Wright, McReynolds, Beaumont and
others, that would stitch it up so quick
and SO nice that he would almost wish
another curb stone would fly up and
cut another nest over his right eye;
and if man comes driving blind
horse along and should happen to run
over a hogshead of tobacco or sugar
cask and smash up his wagon or his
buggy, John Irwin could set up his
wagon and the Baker Brothers his
buggy in little less than no time. So
you see, Mr. G. w, we are prepared
for any emergency and at any time,
and so far as the plows ar concerned,
[ wouldn't care if all the pillow makers
and pillow dealers would try their plows
so often in the streets that they would
cut ditch so wide and so deep that
we would have to build wire suspen-
sion bridge across the head of the
Square to get to those wild cat dens
that Dick Howell, John Faxon and
Ian Kimbrough are managing with
such a degree Of nicely. Now, Mr..
G.. W., you have my views on the OBJ
struction question. | will close by
saying to you there is one thing that
has to be stopped, and that is calling
me Colonel. | am no Colonel. /
never was Colonel. / don't want to
be Colonel, and if | did, l couldn'
be Colonel, so it must be stopped
for ever. Since that little unpleas-
antuess that arose between old Abe
Lincoln and JEFF Davis in 1861, every
body that went far enough for birds
eye view of the ground where little
blood had been split, or the hair been
pulled out and the ground torn up
with something scattered around, they
come home with Colonel, Major, Cap
4 tain, or Lieutenant stuck to their
names. So you see they are just as
thick and numerous about here as po-
4 tato Feelings and apple pomiee are
around country school house. Sc
| you see, I am no Col, but simply,
UNCLE Sol SHORTER.