The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1874-08-18
THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL TUESDAY, AUGUST g. 1874

ears; when had lost the last remnant OF faith in
heard with unspeaka6ie remorse that
had made matters worse and worse, and that
my attempt 10. keep him from a public
now been let loose had been used by him to
bring up new troubles; that his unhappy wife
was under his dictation signing papers and re-
in short. everything was breaking up. and that
the destruction from which i had sought
TO save the family. was likely TO be emptied on
other familiesin the church, and community,
with infinite horrors of woe for me; that my
own Innocence was buried under heaps and
heaps of rubbish, and nobody but my professed
friend, If even he could save us, to his assur-
ance that he could still do so gave at least so
trials the silence which ne enioined. Not till
MIR. Tilton attempted through Frank Carpenter
TO raise money from my friends. and openly as
sailed me in letter to DIR. Bacon, did / break
that silence, save by simple denialOf the SLAM
derous rumors agaigst me a year before.
tack from Mr Tton, 4mediate I o Without a1
consulting Moulton, called for a thorough inves-
tigation with a committee of my church. am
not responsible for the delay, the publicity or
the details of that investigation. All the harm
which
IHAvE so LONG DREADED
and have so earnestly striven to avoid has come
to pass. could not further prevent it without
full surrender OF honor and truth The time
has arrived when can freely speak in vindica-
ton Of myself. l labor under great diSadvan-
tsges in making a statement. My memory OF
states Of mind is clearing and tenacious, better
than my memory OF oaths and details during the
four troubled years, in all of which have been
singularly burdened with public labor, having
established and conducted the Christian Union,
delivered courses of lectures, preaching before
the theological seminary of Yale College, written
the Life OF Christ, delivered each winter lyceum
lectures in all the North and West. All these
du les, with the care Of great church and its
business which falls upon clergyman, more
than upon any other public man, l
the necessity of explaining actions
and letters resulting from complex influences,
apparent at the time, find myself in a position
to prove il with detailed explanations. am
one upon whom trouble works inwardy, MAX
ing me outwardly silent, but reveTberating in
the chambers of my soul, and when at length
do speak it is a pent up flood, and pours With
out measure or moderation. inherit tenden-
cy TO sadness, the remains in me of positive
hypochondria in my father and grandfather,
and in certain moods of reaction the world be-
comes black and / see very despairing-
speak as feel, 1 should give false colors and
manifestation is in such contrast 10 the hone.
fuineSs and courage which l experienced in
ordinary times that none but those intimate
with me would suspect me, so full of overflow
ing spirit and eager gladsomeness, to have
within him a care of gloom. Some OF my letters
to Moulton reflect this morbid feeling. He Vn-
derStoOd 1t, and at times earnestly reproved lie
for INDUCING in IL. With this preliminary re-
view proceed to my narrative. Mr.. Tilton was
first known to me as
REPORTER
of my sermons. He was then in his youth,
just from school and working on the New York
Observer, and from this paper he passed to the
Independent and became great favOrite with
Mr.. Bowen. When about 1861, Drs. Bacon,
Storrs and Thompson resigned their places, 1
became editor Of the Independent, to which /
bod boa,, frono tl,a start n cOnfrihutOr Ona of
the inducements held out to me was that Tilton
should be my assistant and relieve me wholly
from routine office work. In this rela-
ton | became very much attached to him.
We used to stroll to galleries and print shops,
and dine often together His mind was opening
freshly and with enthusiasm upon all questions.
used to pour out my ideas OF civil affairs, pub
lie policy, religion and philanthropy. Ofthis he
has often spoken with grateful appreciation,
and. Inourned at a later day over It's cessation.
August was ms vacation month, but my family
repaired to my farm in June and July and re-
manned there during September and October,
my labors confining me to the city. / took my
meals in the families of friends, and from year
to year became so familiar with their children
and houses that went in and out daily, almost
as in tiny own house. Mr.. Tilton often al
luded this habit, and urged me TO do the
ten speak in extravagant terms of
his wife's esteem and affection for me. After L
began to visit his house he sought 10 make ii at
tractive. He urged me 10 bring my papers down
there and his study to do my writing in, as IL
was not pleasant to write at the Office OF the In
dependent. When went to England in 1868, Mr.
Tilton took temporary charge OF the lndepend-
emit On my return paved the way for him to
take the sole charge of it, my name remaining
for year, and then he becoming the response
BILE editor. Friendly relations continued until
1866. when violent assaults were made upon me
by Tilton in the Independent on account of my
letter and a Temporary Discrimination
of the publication of my sermons in that paper
broke Oft my connection with IT.. Although
Mr.. Tilton and l remained personally on good
terms, vet there was GOODNESS between us in
all matters of politics. Our social relations were
II md oft az a
sat to Page some 90 times for portrait. IL was
here that I first met and talked with Moulton,
though he was not member nor even a regu-
lar attendant. During this whole period
never received from Mr.. Tilton or any member
Of his family
THE SLIGHTEST HINT
that there was any dissatisfaction with my
familiar relations to his household. As late,
think, as the winter of 1869, when going upon an
extended lecturing tour, he said: 81 wish you
would look in after 90 and see that Libby Is
not lonesome or does not want anything"
Never, by sign o word. did Mr.. Triton complain
Of my visits In his family, until after he began
TO feel that the Independent would be taken
from him. Nor did he break out into violence
until on the eve of dispossession from both the
papers, the Independent and the Brooklyn
Union, owned by Mr.. Bowen. During these
treated a father or elder brother. Children
were born and children died. They learned TO
themselves. 1 love them, and had for Mrs,
TiltOn O true and honest regard. She seemed to
me an affectionate mother, dutiful wife, look
ing up to her husband as one far above the COM
mon race of men, and turning to me with art
less familiarity, and with entire con-
fidence. Childish in appearance, she was
childlike in nature. and would as soon have
misconceived the con fdence of the little girls as
Delicate in health with self cheerful air, she
was boundless in her sympathy for those in
trouble, and labored beyond her strength for
the poor. She had the charge one time, of the
married womens class at the Bethel mission
There 1 gave Mrs. Tilton copies of my
books when published: l sometimes sent
down farm flowers to be distributed among
a dozen or more families, and she occasionally
shared them. The only present of value ever
gave her was on my return from Europe Ia 1861,
when distributed souvenirs OF my journey To
some fifty or more persons, and to her gave a
single brooch of little intrinsic value. so far
from supposing that my presence and influence
was alternating Mrs. Tilton from her family re-
lations thought on the contrary that ii was