Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1874-12-11
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A STRONG mana shop-lifter.

You often hear of man being in ad-
vance Of his age, but you never hear of
a woman being in the same predica-
ment.
THE Danbury NeDs says that 1.-the
month of November, with its thirty
paltry days, managed to worm out five
Sundays for the ministers"
IT'S easier tor needle to go through
the eye of camel than for woman to
say cts of no consequence" when you
kick hole in her new silk dress.
SOME farmers are mean enough to COM
plain because the grasshoppers are build
ing bonfres of fence rails. Gewhilikinsl
do they want the grasshoppers to freeze?
-Hilt0duIee Sentinel.
AT Fairview, Butler Co, Pa, water
sells at fifty cents a barrel, and oil at
forty cents. The water supply is short,
and, unfortunately, the oil is not consid-
cred healthful as beverage.
IT now turns out that oat meal doesn't
make brain after all, and the Philadel-
phia editors who laid IN a dozen barrels
apiece for winter use will be almost mad
enough to give 1t to the poor. - Free
Press
THE best shot ever heard of has been
made in Calais, Me, where a gentleman
fired, in midnight darkness, at the bark
of dog, and the next morning found
the animal dead, the bullet having hit
him IN the throat.
A ST. LOUIS physician is trying to prove
that lager beer is good for consumptives.
He claims that no German ever dies of
that disease, and maintains that if beer
could take the place of water few or no
body else ever would. --s
AN eminent astronomer proclaims that
the moons attraction of the tides is grad
ually diminishing the frequency of the
earth's revolutions. This is perhaps the
reason why France has Unexpectedly
gone without one for three years.
NICE place, Baltimore. A corn doctor
there announces that husbands can take
their wives to his office, and while he is
skillfully extracting the good matrons'
| corns and soothing their bunions the hus-
bands can solace themselves with wild
ducks, partridges, pheassnts, fresh fish,
salt water oysters and diamond-back
terrapins.
THE red man of the Pacific slope has
made his appearance as stock specu.
lator. Some weeks since tall and
stately Piute walked into a banking
office at Austin, New, and, approaching
the desk on which the report of the San
Francisco Stock Board is kept, asked the
| clerk: "How is it this morning?'
exclaimed the savage, " heap cussm
A PLAIN-sPoKEN preacher delivered the
following from his desk: q would an.
nounce to the congregation that, proba.
| bly, by mistake, there was left a. the
|
| ton umbrella, much damaged by time
and wear, and of an exceedingly pale
! blue color, in the place whereof was
taken very large black silk umbrella
of great beauty. Blunders of this sort
brethren, are getting little too com
mon"
In GoLDsBoRo N. c., they have dog
who vi its regularly every day the post
office for his owners mail, receives it
and delivers it without accident. Upon
visiting the office the dog cannot be put
off; the official must give him something
whether there be any mail for his owner
or not, and an old paper placed in his
mouth satisfies him and he jogs off con
tented. There was also such dog in
Troy once who called at the counter OF
the Times for his masters paper daily.
A FABLE: Once upon time there wat
a turkey whose owner suddenly ceased
to regard him with Indifference, rs wa.
his wont, and instead of permitting hin
to wander around all day to scratch the
ground for his living began to feed hin
with the daintiest of food, and, indeed
| seemed never firing of stuffing his crop
even after it was full to bursting. The
| poor turkey could not understand sucl
sudden kindness, until one holiday morn
ing, when too late, he discovered that hi
master had only been stuffing him tha
he might stuff himself. Moral DON
let anybody stuff you.
WE have had anti-vaccinationist il
this country, but England is a step aheaC
and boasts an anti-vaccinatiOn league
There are reverends in it, and doctors
and it seems to include both persons
who object to vaccination entirely as
mischievous practice, and those who oh
ject only to making it compulsory Mr.
John Bright, who declines to Join thC
league, is one of the latter class, al
though he thinks facts are against thu
anti-vaccinators, which seems to bl
really an illogical position. For if vac
cination is what is claimed for it, theI
society has right to compel its recep
tion precisely as it has right to confin,
the criminal, or take any other action t.
protect its existence .-Erchdnge
.