, 1874-05-31

] q
our salaries. He would e1tirpate US. Ho use
veIy ainery language. So We investigated tn
| subject more thoroughly, and found that tn
clam had been naligned-h be is very inotfensiv
| animal. You should read Agaesiz on the clam
The Reporter-This is rather poor business.
! The Sanitary Superintendeut-W What, cir
| Shall suffer martyrdom Tor = CLAMP Must
| be decapitated for mol1usk? Shall re
nounce u. 600 q year for creature that burrow
! in the sand 2 The Democratio party ate crow
! l will eat clam. Martyrs are out Of fashion.
And the Sanitary Superintendent went to pick
| ing the good strawberries out OF box OF con
demned fruit, and refused to say anything
more.
And this is how ne arc governed. It is under
stood around the City Hall that henceforth th'
test OF loyalty is devotion to tho clam.
THE NEW PARTY.
Tho mintons Of the Sanitary Superintendent
will invade every restaurant aud hotel, con.
fscating Us they 60, md eating as they confscate
No ones house will be safe. The integrity o1
every ice-box will bo violated. Personal liberty
link hands. ''Free-Trade in Oysters and Hotel
keopers Rights" will be the watchword in the
next election. How it will result, ne al know.
The present dynasty will be swept from
power, and an Oyster party installed in its
stead.
THE P1cKLED-oYsTER CORNER.
Now, notwithstanding all reports to the con-
trary. the above explanation is the true one, and
the Sanitary Superintendent plumes himself
greatly on his discovery, and ranks himself uext
to Jenuer, Morton, GanbrinuH, the inventor OF
paper collars. etc. as great public benefactor.
He il preparing learned paper for the Medical
Journal on the subject, entitled, "Gastrz1gia
Ostreosa. aut de Qualitatibus maledcis Ostreo-
rum Dissertatio brevls."
Consequently there tB no truth at all In the
rumors now in circulation that the City Council
had lent itself to aid the Vaccinations Of ring
in picked oysters, which had bought up all IN
the market. It WAS freely stated that Mr- Hesing,
who is said to be remarkably partial to a half
dozen on the half-shell az gentle stim11-
Iant in warm weather, vaa deeply incen8ed at
the adoption OF an order which stood In the
way Of his enjoying the lreshly-opened bivalves,
and that be made great e1ertions to discover
which Aldermen had sold themselves to the
pickled-oyster dealers, and how much they had
sold themselves for. Rumor added that bis sus-
picions were mainly directed to those Aldermen
who short time ago stepped over the Teutonic
traces SO far as to write Dixon" On piece OF
pspc5 ? E,; HLen they were instructed to vrite
had discovered that one OF these Aldermen had
recently purchased an interest in vinegar
fsctory, and begun negotiations with an Eastern
oyster-doaler.
THE ITALIANS STORY.
The proprietora Of the Italian saloons, whose
right-bower is oysters IN every variety aud form,
but more especially on the ha1f-sleu, are thrown
into universal condemnation. 4 TRIBUNE re-
porter, NTH view Of ascertalning what they
thought OF the bylaw, called upon one OF two Of
them yesterday, and liatened to their moan, the
intense pathos Of which WAS somewhat lessened
by the broken English in which it was uttered.
They had but little to say as rule, but what they
said Was to the point.
Entering IN Italian saloon on West Madison
street, the reporter asked the proprietor the
question, "What do you think OF the oyster by
[av Z"
n-keeper-Eot ees bad Ven q oyster ees
fresh eet is good, and ven oyster ees bad oct
steenks. We don't want to sell oysters that
,teenk. for they would make aick, and nobody
,omes back again ever.
tresh2
saloon-keeper-Dose shell oysters in the win
low will keep fresh for months, eef keep on
he hice. So will the can oysters.
Reporte1-Who Was At the bottom Of this by !
aw?
Reporter--Oh, Booth, the oystorman7
aloon-keeper-Eegsactly, Mr. Boot is going
o Europe, and ha don't Want anybody to sell |
'ysters while he WAS away. His son told FREUD !
4 mine on the South Side that Mr. Boot was
determined that he would make the Board Of
Health pass the law cet it cost him tousand
ollar!
Roporte1-Thep one can ret 4 bv-lav passed
hrough the Board for 81 ,o6o7 ~
Tha saloon-keeper shirked this question. He
oard, at least TOR the power which it welded;
fact be seemed to think that it was ; next to
Mr.. Boot" the greatest power IN the universe
[r Booth he characterized as q terrible man,
nd in ample secrecy he impaired to the reporter
10 assertion that that Wholesale oyster-man
efore canning them,-a retail proceed
'g which, il hubstantiated, ought to
rase tile name Of Booth forever from the ranks