The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1874-08-20
Miscellaneous.

|
A novelty in domestic economy is ''the
revolving vegetable dish" Truly we live
in degenerate days: time was when the
bottle went round ,
The editor of the Panama Star apollo
| gizes for the non-appearance of his paper
/ by saying that he had, to haul in to dig
buckshot out of his legs.
An Irishman was once asked if he had
ever seen red blackberry. ITO be sure
have" said Pat; 'tall blackberries are
red when they are green" ~
lady asked sailor whom she met
| why ship was called "she." The son of
Neptune replied that it it was because
the rigging cost more than the hull.
Some schoolboys meeting poor wo-
| man driving asses, one of them said to
her. "good morning, mother of asses.
Good morning, my child, was the re-
ply.
Donation visits in Iowa are not very
successful as a rule. A clergyman there
after a recent donation party, found he
had beans enough to last him thirty
seven years.
When man nearly breaks his neck
trying to get out of the way of light
ning-bug," supposing it to be the head
light of a locomotive, it is time for him
to sign the pledge.
A man was boasting before compan-
ion of his very strong sight II can dis
cern from here mouse on the top of that
very high tower Il don't see it, an
swered his comrade; "but l hear it run
ming.
The Public Ledger, observing that a
contemporary states that "Victor Eman-
uel and his son Prince Humbert were
both born on the same day" proceeds to
remark that "it appears, on reflection
that this must be a mistake"
Gunnybags dunned Smith for the
amount due on account, and Smith wrote,
saying Gunnybags must let the account
stand awhile longer. Gunnybags wrathily
replied that he woulnt. "Then let it
run" retorted Smith, and Gunnybags
was madder than ever.
The Dunkers, a sect of German Bap-
fists, have decided in their national con-
vention that no member of that church
should keep piano or other ungodly
instrument of sound in his house. A
bunker family would be good place for
boarders of quiet tastes.
A suffering broker in New Y ork lately
asked another. who had a bald pate, why
his head was like h-hash in bboarding-
house The disgusted friend, on admit
ting that he didn't know, was informed
that twas because th-theres h-hair
h-h-here and th-there.
The Seneca tribe of Indians now con-
sists of one old horse, chief, and three
gallons of whisky. A few more setting
suns-a few more moons-a brief season,
and, that three-gallon jug will join its
comrades in the happy hunting grounds.
Detroit Free Press.
Receipts for the preservation of furs
abound in all the papers, but the old
plan promulgated by Punch long ago is
the best. This is to pull out all the
hair with tweezers and varnish the skin.
In the Spring remove the varnish and
stick all the hairs in their old
places.
A man in Maine has a goose sixty-eight
years old, Though attaining this green
old age, she nevertheless is not green
goose. The secret of her longevity con-
sists in the fact that she hid away for
several seasons, at Christmas time, until
she became so tough that they couldn't
kill her, and let her live on.
A man in Maine has goose sixty-eight
years old Though attaining this green
old age, she nevertheless is not q green
goose. The secret of her longevity con-
sists in the fact that she hid away for
several seasons, at Christmas-time, until
she became so tough that they couldn't
kill her. and let her live on.
A Sunday-school teacher, wishing his
pupils to have clear idea of faith, illus
trated it thus: Here is an apple-you
see it and therefore know it is there;
but when place it under this tea-cup
you have faith that it is there, though
you no longer see it" The lads seemed
to understand perfectly, and the next
time the teacher asked them, What is
faithY' they answered, with one accord,
An apple under tea-cup,"
A Lady in Germantown, who.lives near
\ church, was sitting by the window lis
.ening to the crickets, which were loudly
,hirping the music from the choir re-
hearsal being family audible, when a
gentleman dropped in who had just
passed the church, and had the music
full in his mind. what noise they
ire making to nightr said he. Eyes"
replied the lady, "and it is said that they
10 it with their hind legsP
deaf old lady, who had brought an
action for damages against neighbor,
was being examined, when the Judge sug-
gested compromise, and instructed
counsel what she would take to settle
the matter. "His honor wants to know
what you will take2" asked the learned
bawling as loud as ever he could
IN the lady's ear. i thank his honor
kindly answered the ancient dame;
and if it's no Inconvenience to him, I'll
AXE little warm aleP'