The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-08-15
NEW NOR.WESTERs
will soon Joaquin upon us again.


To find how hollow the world is, join a
choir. "a,
An open faced watch-A policeman
taking drink. {.
Parton is said to be writing the biog-
raphy of Tom Collins.
-"Ill give you poke in the eye," as
the thread said to the needle.
"A Texas man knows himself well. lie
sat down on hot branding iron.
1t costs the American people 81, ,000, 900
a year to keep their teeth i'll order
-Theauthor of the "Grasshopper Waltz
has managed to escape with his life from
Iowa.
porrJferstif 'tit5 tae' 'ofp s
hanging over him,
A red-hot iron pressed closely to the
gum, in contact with all aching tooth, will
usually prove effective.
If you want to be famous, you must
discover a comet Or hang around reservoir
and look out for breaks. <. 4-9
ellis life now hangs bya thread" was
the note made by poetical reporter as a
murderer was strung up.
When Milwaukee man feels head
| ache coming on he hurries to carpenter
shop and has his ears filed off little.
Judging from the number of drowning
| accidents this year, there are fewer people
born to be hanged than we had supposed.
viii some one tell us what is the latest
style for trimming eorns, and after what
pattern will they be cut and how can the
old ones be repaired {?
"A San Francisco reporter blushed at
some remarks of Victoria Woodruff, and
was promptly discharged for conduct un-
becoming % Journalist"
-Spilkins being asked which he would
prefer, to sit ON the Beecher-T Tilton Investi-
eating Committee or sit ON three-pronged
| pitchfork, unhesitatingly chose the latter.
Just as the minister was immersing a
colored convert, near Bangor, lately the
choir broke out ~.8
'.The morning light is breaking, 7t
The darkness disappears l. . ~.
"A case of Asiatic cholera is reported
| from Louisville, Ky. The victim Patrick
Foley, died, q few days since, in the same
house in which the epidemic Of 1851 broke
| out.
"A sleepy deacon, who sometimes engag-
ed in popular games, hearing the minister
use the words, "Shuffle off his mortal coil, -
started up, rubbed his eyes, and exclaimed,
"Hold on, it is my dealt" 81
| To err is human. No lives are passed
| without errors. The best and meanest of
Gods human creatures can, without great
stretch of memory, recall the time when
they got hold of the wrong end of the poker.
| There is snmathing infinitaly tn,nIir,s
and solemn in the thought that man may
| be born into this world, strut his brief hour
| upon the stage, and, at last, tumble into
| into eternity without ever having seen the
st. Louis Bridge. ...s-.-
| The editor of the Kiowin (Kan.) Chiet
| is a man to be envied. He can look out of
| his west window at any time and see buffalo
| grazing in the distance, and q fellow with
slouch hat strung up to telegraph pole
across the street.
-Awnt Bella (who has just read aloud
''The Burial of Sir John Moore '')-s.Now,
then, which of the verses do you like best ?''
jack with alacrity)-" Oh! know-sFew
and short were the prayers we said. -
| Punch.
| AN Irishman remarked to a companion,
on observing lady pass, g Pat, did you
ever see SO tt in a woman as that before" +"
"Thin," replied the other; botherashun
I've seen one as thin as two of her put
together, dye mind" g~
/ An Iowa paper reports the following as
the actual form of a marriage service in a
! town in that State: Join your right hands.
Do you want one another?" (They botl
answer, ''Yes.") "Well, then, haze one
another. You're man and wife,
The Seth Thomas clock company, Of
Thomaston, has just shipped large and
fine clock for Catholic convent in Mexico.
The pendulum rod is about ten feet long,
and the ball weighs about 800 pounds. Il
is the largest clock the company ever made
costing about 81, 500 s!l s
Jules Janin is reported to have said a
4 .
few days before his death, as he lay ON {
sofa in his dining-room, I" I suppose I an
celebrated; / am a great writer; am 9
member of the academy would renounct
i all that glory to Walk-to walk around this
room without assistance! '' sYH
! AS indicating the deplorable condition
of public sentiment in the west, it may bs
stated that two Chicago loafers, arrested il
a drunken fight, gave their names as Fl. w
Beecher and r.. Tilton, and that the judge
fined the former ten dollars while the lattel
got off with only five.
i "A Mississippi doctor gave q Memphi
II man a box of anti-billieus pills the ethe
Il day, with directions written on the bog tt
81 4 4 T =
take :. one pill five times day. The pill
/ to be thus taken was made, we presume, o
cast iron.
Now is the time to can fruits of thi
portion Of the season. In doing SO, th
careful housewife evinces great trepidatiol
II least the steaming liquid break her glas
| cans. One Of the hest safeguards arains
/ such contingency Is to place aeloth, we
in cold water, under the can. It is a sur
preventive. ..r..s .s. s#
& "A Covington gentleman, at q recen
picnic party, suffered some damage at til
hands Of . jealous swain, for being to
polite and attentive to q lady, When b
3 explained that he had known the lady 70
the last thirty-five years, he got severa