New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1874-08-29
JOHN PAUL AT SARATOGA,
AN rcoT1sr AMONG EGoTIsTs.

AN EGOTIST ANON0 CuOlioio'
RITTER DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE MAN WHO WANTED
TO TALK ABOUT HIS RHEUMATIsM-As TO MU-
TrAL FRIENDS - MILES OF NEW PIAZZA THIS
Seasonal HOTEL MANS HEAD FOR FIGURES
THE DISTINGUISHED ARRIVALS.
IRON AN OCCASIONAL CORRESPONDENT OF THE ThiboSh
SARATOGA, Aug 25.-Some one defines bore as
The man who talks about himself wheh you ""n' !"
talk about yourself
Saratoga is full of these wretches this season.
came here Frustrated by overwork, suffering from
inflammatory rheumatism, tortured by inopportune
neuragias unable to cat drink or sleep, aud quite
sure that had some chronic affection OF the heart
to say nothing of minor domestic Affections when
frequently caused me to turn wistful eyes towards
that burn from which it is said that no traveller
returnsD Among the many friends here sojourning
it seemed that must find sympathy; my livid
imagination pictured the long piazzas as lined with
rows of yearning acquaintance sitting backward
tipped in their chairs but with ears cooked forward
and laps all ready for me to approach and pour out
my woes.
HWell, what was the disappointing factf 1mmedi-
ately on arriving sought out Smith-rather per-
haps may say that saw Smith, his feet comfort
ably and decently elevated on the top rail of chair
seemingly laying back for me. Him l approached,
bearing with me as sort of propitiatory offering
get two for half, though you take dollars WORTHY.
which he accepted without the least hesitation OF
SYMPTOM of mental confusion. Nay, more, he asked
after my health, and took the last match had I'D
the kindest way. Then conversation began But
barely had set forth how cold had come upon me
in the Spring. cold which finally settled down all
over me, and of late had excited the apprehension
of friends many of whom were fearful that it would
| not carry me off, barely had got that far-not
word vet about my rheumatism-when he began on
me with his sciatica. 1 could MT get my shoulder
blades in edgewise. Such an egotistical ass never
saw in my life. POliteness compelled me to SIT still
and listen to him. but on another occasion OF the
kind shall rise and excuse myself, at the FISK OF
being considered rude Why, by the way he went
| ON you would have thought that came to Saratoga
wholly to hear about his cursed sciatica-which l
do hope will tie him up in double w-knot before
| it has done with him-when the fact is that my
only object in coming was to tell him about my
| rheumatism
| So it is all through. Last evening I prOmenaded
| with young lady in whom fancied had found
congenial soul-a feme-sole-but disappointment was
| again my doom. The Perfdy of Man was my theme
| and q fragrant instance. in which had been the
victim, was in my mind. OF course, began by
| advancing general proposition as to the Perfldy
| Her dark eyes turned upon me Gke-ah, have you
ever stood by still mountain lake and looked down
into the shaded depthsi And what saw you'll
Well, looking into this young ladys eyes saw my
self mirrOred there, it seemed, and when one sees
ones self in anobers eyes one is apt to think that
sympathy is shining all around and the rest OF the
| story is as easy rolling off log. So went on
| about the Perfdy of Man. And she pressed my arm
at particular passages while deep signs agtated her
tumutuous tulle. When spoke of the woe which
| GpAc hot hos
pursued a cheat phantasm, has held that as true
which is really falser and more feeting than the
| ringlet born of hot pipe-stem, collapsing and
Strengthening out like a shoe string the first
approach of wet weather-when spoke of this the
double b0x-trimmng on her breast and fell like
the waters of a canal when a deep laden boat,
drawn by pair of spirited mules, plows mady over
the surface and stirs up the bullpouts and catfish.
"Ohn she cried, "tben you know allY had
thought of speaking to you about it, but was re-
strained by the fear that you might think me for
ward and unmaidenly, kept the secret flor secret
/ supposed it to bel. and would not have spoken
about it at all had not discovered by your absorbed
air and the confidence bestowed upon me this
ing that you have detected his duplicity, and that
might come to you as to brother and say"
EYES," said, to tell the truth, have longed for
this moment. 1t has, indeed seemed to me at times
that without some relief in words-fOr men of my
stern temperament alas, shut off by imperative
custom from the relief of tears the mitigation which
weeping brings to lesser minds-I must fidget fade
evanesce, droop die;-aye, pass in my chips, dear
friend. For when it first flashed upon me that the
false Taximagulas-"
"But his name is not Taximaguas it is Dionysus
Roberto Robinson, and his behavior was such thatit
led mamma and me to believe-to believe-and now
-now-oh, shall die, know / SHALL for everybody
must be talking about it. and that hateful Samantha
Semithers says-boo-hOO boo-hoo-boo-hoo"
Beauty was dissolved in tears and the true state of
the case became apparent in a moment. While l
had been inveighing against the perfidy of man in
general meaning my man in particular and lmagln-
ing that at last had found lofty spirit, which
could leave the diminutive delights of the drawing
ROOM the poor plane of the parlors, and walk with
me in the sublimated ether of my own experiences,
verify the young woman busy with her own
wretchedness, was but brooding over frivolous
and unnteresting Irritation In which the birch-bark
canoe of her affections came to grief and wreck
upon some insignificant snag or sawyer known in
the shallow waters around as Dionysus Roberto
Robinson.
In a world where each man and woman seems to
have absorbing doubts and diseases of his OF her
own it seems strange indeed that any mutual friend
could ever be found to take the heat and the burden
of both day and night upon him, to stand up in O.
triangular duel, and muss and mix and NEEDLE gem
orally till himself daubed and plastered beyond the
recognition of his own mother-in-law. In the
strange mutations of life, when my head comes to
be laid to rest upon some unknown lap, will it be
writ of met
He gave to Misery all he had, his ear;
He gained-from Heaven 7-alas, mutual friend"
The completion of the United States Hotel has
added to the promenades of Saratoga i do MT
know how many miles of piazza, how many square
e in such