The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1874-03-21
The Parents Work.

the one a course of neglect, the other
system Of compulsion. Some parents, from
feebleness Of character and weakness of
purpose, some from pre-oeeupation in other
pursuits, some from fashionable Incidence,
some from ignorance, and some, we fear,
from crushing poverty, drift into negligence
Of the duties they owe their children, aud
suffer them to grow up unframed, uncon-
trolled, and unswayed by the influence
which, in youth, has the most emphatic
power-home life. Others of different
type, fully alive to their potency and re-
sponsibility, but with more will than wis
dom, and more faith in authority than
knowledge Of human nature, strive earn
estly to gorern their children, to compel
obedience at any risk, to subdue their wills,
TO regulate their conduct, to control their
decisions, to order their lives. 1t would,
perhaps, be difficult to decide which of
these extremes, if carried to its full issue,
would be the most injurious, Happily,
however, they never are. Every parent
has some insight into the duties which his
relation involves, and puts forth some cf-
forts to fulfil them, however feeble and
spasmodic; while, on the other hand, every
parent has glimpses, at least, of his childs
individuality, and discerns limit, beyond
which even the most despotic dare not in
wade it.
What is really needed is not so much
to find the middle ground between these
opposite poles, as to discover the princi-
pies, which lie at the foundation of this
relation, and upon which parents may
safely base their conduct. Every thought
ful person must see that the infant is
placed in the arms Of its father and mother
for some definite purpose. The love that
wells up in their hearts for the little un-
conscious being has meaning in it; their
absolute power over il aud its utter help
lessness speak loudly of some design to be
accomplished, some object to be attained.
What then is this design ?-what is the
parent TO do for this feeble tissue of unde-
yeloped power, this incapable germ of
marvellous capabilities? We would an-
swer-tc prepare it to become self-gov-
erning individual. This is the highest
end of education, the best result of gov
ernment A difficult and a gradual work
We must admit this to be, but if parents
would make it the end which they are TO
achieve, this would wonderfully simplify as
well as elevate the whole relation II
would condemn neglect, or superficial at
tention, by the greatness of the task; while
it would equally censure that authoritative
force which ignores and renders impossible
self-government.
As early as possible the child should be,
taught to put himself into harmony with
the laws of nature. For example, the pa
rent commonly considers that when he
has taken every precaution TO secure the
physical health Of bis child, and has sed.
ulously placed him under wholesome sur
roundings, his duty in this respect is done.
Yet this is only the beginning He should
carefully instruct the child upon the nature
of his physical system and its requirements;
show him why certain food is preferable; ;
why bathing, pure air, and exercise are
essential; point out the inevitable eonsc-
quences of violating physical laws, and
thus impress him with the duty of obe-
dience to them. If such course be taken,
gradually, but persistently, is it not plain
that, while the child's health is being pro-
noted, his intellect will also be developed
his knowledge increased, and he will learn
lesson Of self-government which no
amount of attention to his bodily needs
alone could impart? Is not the contin-
ually recurring question, "wny?" for
which children are SO frequently and so
unjustly blamed, sufficient evidence that
the young mind is alive with cur iosity as
to the reason Of things, and capable of un-
derstanding and applying them In like
manner, the mental, social aud moral ma
ture may be so developed by the judicious
parent, as to induce the child, little by
little, to govern himself, instead of being
controlled by another's viii. To impart
the largest amount of knowledge is a smaller
benefaction than to create a thirst for it;
to regulate the moral conduct is of less
consequence than to inspire the love Of
right aud the desire for improvement.
1t may be reasonable matter of in
quiry, how far the parent has a right to
compel his child to course of conduct,
wholly against his will. There are doubt
less cases where it is necessary, but We
think they will become fewer as the prin-
ciple Of self-government becomes recogniz-
ed and appreciated. There are three
methods of securing compliance with
parents wishes--through force, through
sympathy and through reason. The for
mer is essentially transient instrument,
and can only produce superficial work. He
whose family government rests on force
will find it slipping from his grasp, with
every year added to the child's life, until
at length the hated bonds are burst asun-
der, and he has lost all hold over the being
he once so despotically ruled. Sympathy,
on the contrary, is a bond that time will
strengthen. Let parent gain his child's
love and faithi let him prove himself his
tenderest friend and best counsellor let
him awaken the sentiments of gratitude
and trust, and he will seldom have reason
IN oon,olasn oc Observation-Disclosures. n. a.