, 1874-07-26
RELIGIOUS ABsURDIT1ES.

-A-0 --~N~AAN~Hes~e E~~ANHSA
0 name Of religion only be explained by IL
T. deficiency OF such persons in the sense OF IL
t ludicrous It their scnstiyeness to ridiculo wez
= equal to their egotism, they might be made t
: see themselves as others see them.
{ The revivalist who offers q chrome to ever
: fancy, but there are arti1ccs resorted to fo
winning souls that do not fall far bolow thi
, in mischievous absurdity. They consist O
wrenched to1ta like ''Let hor drive,'' or Of &C
t centric plraseology, such as "Hero is yers
that presents a nsuseatcd Christ" or ct labori
GUS attempts at facetious retv, ns, for example
an advertisement Of q soap-dealer which con
talns the following puff By Brooklyn divine
II have uEea your soap with pleasure and profit
but best Of all have held pleasant converse will
you concerning Him who washes all our sint
away" Perhaps both soap-dealcr and soap.
headed parson would justify this exchange OF
put for article pu1ed by the axiom Business
IL business"
Wo recollect seeing on huge banner at a
country fair, "Yo ought to turn from these IT,
! AAt5 saAAAACo Ad+o AuC Af1IE IOu lu1a ~ CUT
tainly not the application OF the text most lkoly
to conciliate an intelligent farmer, who could
hardly be expected to look upon his fat oxen and
| premium wheat as lying yanitics and offensive
to God. An ordinary eye for tho fitness of things
| would hayo made better selection, or, rather,
| mono at all. Tho same bcncGcent eye might
have prevented tho Y. II. c, 4. of this city from
following the late cornerstone procession in q
! cart, carrying banner with tho inscription,
"Jescs Christ the Corner-Stono" It might
have restrained the injudicous Tory who,
during the late election in England, started the
hustings cry, "Deer and the Bible! Stand by q
National Church md National Beverage"
Perhaps the reverend gentleman Who pro-
nouncod IN eulogium the other DAY upon "Jin
Fisk, = at the dedication OF monument to that
ilustrious scoundrel, would hive declined the in
yitaton if he had realized the incong1uity of lilo
spectacle. He did not deliberately design to
bring reproach upon the public virtue; lie is
simply deficient in the sense Of the inconsruous
Perhaps the clergyman who has been arra,gpcd
By tho Chesapeake Presbytery for trying to i'm
press the dccalosue upon his wife with his fist
would have escaped this unpleasant duty could
he have foreseen what everybody else sees-how
ridiculous duty it is. His defense is that On
coming down to breakfast On Sunday ror1-
ing his sabbatarian suspicious were aroused
~ seeing some eggs upon the table.
He suspected, not the eggs, but his rifc.
lie catechiscd her, and she admitted that size
had borrowed those eggs that morning, and, for
aught she knew (this is our suspicion), they
might have been laid during tho small hours OF
that sacred day. Her husband "told her that
he would teach her how to break the Sabbath
and he did SO by nearly breaking her jaw with
lis own hand. What is wife's jaw to hus-
bands Sabbath !? We recommend this sixth
sense to those missionaries in Rome who appeal
for money not go much because Of tho spiritual
destitutton OF the Romans rs because those |
who are supplying the destitute are under the |
special command Of the Almighty to ''mske |
Rome howl" with Protestant theology. Ono |
of them says ho was ''pnHhcd md pulled |
into Rome by tho Lord" implying, BY tho
way, that the Lord and hc.-or rather ho
and tho Lord and all tho thick coming
missionaries in Rome, arc no moro concerned
for Naples (Which has five times as many leo-
ple) than they arc for New York, or London, or
any other unromantio spiritual harvcst-fcld.
This missionary tells US also that his mission ia
" 80 advantagoously placed that psalm singing
may bo heard-cspeciaIiy If the singers be in
structed to raise their voices 1itt1e-in the very
chambers Of the Pope! The object is not so
much to convert tho vagabond Italiane, which can
easily bo done BY handful OF macaroni. but to
move upon the Protestant pocket in this country
with the idings that the slumbc1s Of the Holy
Father are broken by the strains OF u Prot
'stant hymn. Call it the Five Points
home Tor American Arabs and tho con-
drug. Call it the ''Vatican Mission.
Ind promise to sing loud enough to disturb tho
'opes rest, md there will DO no end to dona- {
ions! That is the theory OF tho dramatic
Missionary but it is not so enchanting cs it vas
The element of absurdity is beginning to tell.
youth at camp-mocting in Nebraska :
umred into we'll with the remark thot ho ,
guessed ho would go to glory" He was reg :
ued, but his "morbid impulse" is probably too s
ar gone to admit OF the cure we PROPOSE Ho is i
eJond the reach Of his sense Of the ridiculous. =
ils fate, however, should be warning to other r
Dsuld religious people, who may yet save r
le4r reason by exercising it, and increase their y
EocA OF common sense by cultivaiing it. They q
lay arouse themselves in time to SEQ that rc:ir-
N, to be healthy, must be at leaet Sane 81
I'd that to keep it epne it must ho >,
A1sd with cur everyday worl-a-day Hfo. =,
there is nothing in this world so r,
'sc'natlng to the common run of people a. Z
simple and earnest religious life, 40 there ID
'th'ns more transparent or repugnaat to them
IAN the ranting egotism which mistakes itself
I religious zeal, or the pious buGoonery which,
hlle it mny split the cara of the grouallings, all
uss atienate the thoughtful confirm the
optical, nrd mako the julic.ous criere .,