The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

proper disposal OF the dead. Heretofore the
matter has been decided by the religious SEN
timent of the community, and those who have
left us have been put to rest in Greenwood
under the daisies but now the practical sense
of utility asserts itself and demands that
man shall practise economy while living and
be economical when dead, Sir Henry Thomp-
son has written paper which has set all the
mal-contents of society by the ears. He thinks
it very grave matter to bury people, and
suggests the possibility Of disposing of the
dead in such way as to render the Chincha
Islands entirely unnecessary. With o nicely
more mathematical than sentimental he gives
the exact number of pounds Of rich compost
into which the annual dead of London may
be resolved, and tells us with unsurpassed
pathos that we have lost an incalculable
amount of money by not converting the
millions who have gone into fertilizing
material.
Just think of the delights Of changing our
mothers-in law and all our poor family rela-
tons into valuable bone dust 1t is an oppor-
tunity too good and far too profitable to be
lost In the near future some fanciful specu-
lator may get up corner on human cinders
and earn . living by urning the dead We
have heard of Frenchman who has been so
fascinated by this new movement that he has
bequeathed his body to the chemists, declar-
ing that, since he has given light to the world
by his works for twenty years. it is no more
than fair that his remains should be converted
into gas that he may continue to give light
after death
When you look at the matter from an
economic standpoint only, disabusing your
mind of all foolish sentiment, this view of the
subject is quite worthy OF the age we live in.
II is pity that the suggestion is not Ameri-
can but we can easily avenge ourselves for
having more reverence for the dead than the
rest Of the world by taking possession of the
market. We can pay higher price for bodies
than those dull Englishmen, who are not ac-
customed to making money by the ream,
we do. Before long, doubtless, we shall
establish agencies, semi-real estate agencies,
since the ashes are TO be used to enrich the
soil, where we can sell all our incinerated
friends and relations.
tits a delightful reflection that ones useful
ness is not to end with death; that some of us
will be worth more money dead than alive. In
stead of vanishing when the breath is gone we
shall reappear, converted into California pota-
toes, or pippin apples, or rye. A great deal OF
discrimination will be necessary just here.
Since humanity is no longer to be wasted in
sentimental graveyards, but used in common
sense way, and changed into kind Of sub
hmated compost, we must not neglect the
chemists magic art. We are made up of such
various ingredients that we must be used for
very different purposes. The topers for in
stance, after having been reduced to the
proper consistency should be distributed
over the vine-growing sections of our country
that they may add to the bouquet OF our ma
tive wines Then the topers OF to-day could
sit in sweet fellowship with their boon COM
panions of the olden time, and find
enjoyment in the fact that they, too, will be
slipped in the applejack of the future. The
gourmands would have the satisfaction of
knowing that they will give heretofore
unknown flavor and richness to the food Of
the next generation, while the dyspeptics
would enjoy sweet revenge on all healthy
digestions by transmitting their peculiar ten
denotes to the crops that grew from their re-
mains.
These facts are so important that they must
not be lost sight of. Since our pursuits in
life are very different, the use to be made Of
US after death must be equally various. One
man, after being properly baked, would be in
valuable for potato patch or hop bed,
while another would be beyond price to start
early vegetables with. Let US be discriIni-
mating in this matter, and not be so captivated
by our discovery as to rush headlong into
errors easily avoided by calm judgment.
Analogy suggests the first experiments to
be made. We have been very careful
to follow it in the advice we have
already given, and willingly leave the
variety of combinations which may be made
by mixing the incinerated bodies of men of
different tastes and temperaments to the slow
processes of actual trial. 1t is quite evident,
however, that our Fifth avenue bellies should
be carefully preserved and sprinkled with a
sparng hand over the beds Of lilies, carna-
tons ana roses. The rogues in the Peniten-
tiary could be used for growth of worm
wood, and the rcgues out Of the Penitentiary,
together with the corrupt politicians Of the
time, for a marvellous crop of snakeroot and
other roots and herbs.
In the Vienna Exposition this matter was
practically exemplifed. On one of the mys-
terious shelves was bottle marked No. 10,
containing three and three-qrarter pounds of
fertilizing material, the gross result Of
Italian gentleman, who had evidently never
been in such reduced circumstances before.
The entire cost of putting him into glass
case was just two shillings and fourpence,
English money. This Of itself is an item OF
sufficient importance to carry conviction to