The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-04-18
All Sorts.

We are told that nothing is made il
vain--but how about pretty girl
Isn't she maiden vainq
A green bay man called a yonne
lade his "precious darling little honey
dew of q blooming rosebud" and then
stood a breach of promise suit before
he would marry her.
CHARADE.
Ny first is far whittier than paper can be.
My second in battle the soldier may sec
My whole without wings in the Winter
. can flee.
MARRYING FOR MoNEY.-An ex-
tremely sharp and intelligent Ameri-
can gentlemen from the West once
walked into the office Of Doctor G.. T.
Jackson, the Chemist.
'Doctor Jackson, l presumed" said
he.
eyes, sir"
care you alone?"
eyes, SIR"
"May | lock the door,"
And he did SO then, having looked
behind the sofa, and satisfied himself
that no one else was in the room, he
placed large bundle, done up in a
yellow handkerchief, OH the table, aud
opened it.
"The,e, doctor, look at that"
"Well," said the doctor, II see it.''
"What do you call thai, docto,7n
II call it iron pyrites."
"What" said the man "isn't that
stuff eode"
NO." said the doctor, otis good for
nothing; its py'ites."
And pntting some over the fire in a
shovel, itsoon evaporated up the CHM
ney.
"Wel!," said the gent1emanly man,
with woe-begoue look, ''there's q
widdur up in our town has whole hill
full or that, aud I've been and mar
ried her."
LITTLE ,GEoRGE's TEoUELE.-Aunt
Libby patted me on the head the other
day, and said:
George, my boy this is the hap
piest part of your life"
l guess Aunt Libby don't know
much. l guess she never worked i.
week to make Kite, and the first time
she went to fly it got the tail hitched
III tall tee, whose owner wouldn't
Let her climb up to dist arg it. /
guess she never broke Que of tho run
ners of her sleigh some Saturday after
noon WHEEL it was prime coasting. l
guess she never had to give. her big
gest marbles to a graf, lubberly boy,
because he would thrash her If she
didn't. I guess she never had him
twitch off her best cap, and toss it into
a mud-puddle. I guess she never had
to give up her Huntington to quiet
the baby, and have the paint all suck
ed off. | guess she never saved ali
her pennies q whole Winter to buy a
trumpet, and then was told she must
not blow it, because it would make Il
noise! No; Aunt Libby don't know
much. How could sheg She never
was a boy
A wife of the most unsentimental
and ingenious turn of mind dwells in
Penzance with her husband, who
possesses a very jealous, misanthropic,
and withal romantic temperament.
The other day this gentleman George
Jones, felt that life was too much for
him, and gave his wife sixpence to go
the druggists for bottle of cold
poison. The excellent woman had a
bottle filed with licorice-watcr, and
labeled "Poison." Returning with
this, tho poetic master of her heart
fundamentally filled wine-glass in
her presence and prepared to drink.
She screamed, and rushed into the next
Dom, where she watched him through
he keyhole, and saw him pour the
leadly dose out of tho window. She
'ushed back to him, apparently over
Nhelmed with grief, and begged him
Tot to kill himself. Mr., Jones, filed
poetry, merely pointed to the empty
,lass, and, throwing himself on the
Ioor, squirmed. She fondly observed
hat she would share his fate, aud
wallowed the rest, of the licorice-
water, whereupon no became really
confessed his deception
'efore all the neighbors, and said, if
he'd only get well, he'd never do SO
ny more. Tho world seems bright
L to Mr. Jones now.
he woman Of the coming time
Shall man to vote appoint her2
Veil, yes or no. your bottom dime
She'll do as she's a mia ter.
We know she "will' or else she won't
Twill be the same as now;
md il she does, Or if she don't,
God bless her anyhow.
SURELY AN AErlsr.-"Can you draw
t all, young mang' asked Uncle Ra-
heal of au applicant for private jn-
"Oh, yes, considerable !" replied The
apdidate. cat ten years of age I
ould draw beer, cider, or a sleigh up
he bin at twelve, truck loaded
With cabbage; at 1if.een,a plizo in a
ottery at. seventeen, an Inference
nd at twenty, q bill of exchange. II
were an actor, reckon | could draw
he largest kind of house but I'm
DING to be teacher, aud shall have
. be content with dlawing a salary
he bigger tho better"