The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-01-31
VARIETY.

The hard times also affect the Indians One
horse will now purchase two Apache women, and
the owner of the women will throw in a dog or
two rather than spoil trade.
Lucy Randall, of Lynn Mass was Tilted by
her lover and her hair turned gray in one hour.
It is an awful thing to disappOnt woman when
she has set her heart on marrying man.
Two little girls were comparing progress in
catechsm studies % have got to-original sin -
said one. How far have you got?' Me
Oh, I'm beyond redemption" said the other
southern editor announces his intention of
securing n hall, if one of sufficient dimensions
can be found for the purpose Of holding con-
ventiOn Of the authors Of - Beautiful Snow"
\ learned doctor IN Iowa has given his opinion
that tight lacing is public benefit, inasmuch
its tendency is to kill off all the foolish girls and
leave the wise ones to grow into women
An Italian girl of twenty has been sentenced at
san Francisco to thirty years imprisonment for
highway robbery, and one of her victims offers to
marry her it the judge will suspend the sentence.
An unstamped letter was deposited in an Indi-
ana pOst-Ofice last week, and underneath the ad-
dress was the Endorsement: "Let her slide, Il.
NJ, she's all hunk; inside air one of them post
hole keerds.'
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe recently remarked that
only dumb submission for women" We admit
the submission; but the - dumb is too untrue
10 be thought Of for moment.
\ dry-wittcd soldier Of the Tenth Vermont
regiment, during the war, was heard to pray
when the bullets were falling in showers about
him, rs follows: .'Oh, Lord, make me rs thin
a knife -
An intelligent resident of Maine lately sued a
ueighbor for SANDER in having called him an
nd IN
Judge and jury awarded S2l2 damages for the
uudeseryed epithct.
Twenty-thrce years ago John McDonough left
three million dollars for the maintenance of free
schools in Baltimore and New Orleans, all but
so, 900 Of which has becnGIsed up in litigation
about his will
Nebraska man willed - 900 to a widow and
= 600 to his own wife, and the way that widows
hair came out was 4 clutiOn, while the dead man
IN his tomb hadn't softer word than - old fool y
applied 10 his remains.
I'm Indiana man stole lawyers tombstone and
had beer counter made Of 1t, and the justice re-
fused to try him for larceny, holding that the
lawyer could be found at the last day, even if his
grave was hidden under a six-story building.
Several Irishmen were disputing one day upon
their own best points, when one said in an ag
gressiyc manner, - Faith, and I'm brick.
And indadc." said another, -" I'm brick
layer" and lelled the first speaker to the ground.
The late Rev. Baron Stow of Boston said:
Sermons are like guns, long or short, new or
old bright rusty, loaded empty. Some
shoot too high some too low. They teach, amuse.
or exasperate, according as they are managed. :"
\ genius was expatiating upon the utility of an
Inda-ruJber ship which he was inventing, when
an old sailor exclaimed: ''No, no! 1t will
never do; an India-rubber ship would rub out all
the lines Of latitude and longitude, to say moth
ing of the equator -
..Your future husband seems very exacting; he
has been stipulating for all sorts of things said
a mother to her daughter, who was on the point
Of being married. - Never mind, mamma,
SAID the affectOnate girl, who was already dressed
Tor the wedding, % these are his last wishes.
\ LEGAL JOkE.-The death Of Baron Channell,
Of the English Court of Exechequer, has revived
IN auecdote Of his practice ut the bar. His lord
ship was always regarded n of sound legal
learning, and very considerable general erudition,
but he was, at the same time, remarkable for his
utter disregard of the unfortunate letter III. Be
ing engaged in u commercial suit, in which the
ship HaTrolg was the bone of contention, the
Judge expressed wish TO know what really
the name Of the vessel. % Was She he asked,
- the HqrToJg or the AFTOlC?' " My lord, re-
piled Mr.. Cnnnells witty, but disrespectful Jun
Tor - when the ship is 1T sea, she Is known rs the
HaTrOg, but when she gets into the chops OF the
ChanHeH she becomes the ATrOG."