The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-02-07
NEW NOR, wEsTERs.
Active corpses-Dead beats.

Active corpses-Dead beats.
Praise the sea and keep ON land.
The best "help p"-Help yourself.
Ships bread-Rolls, and plenty of 'em.
"A present in words-The gift of the
CAB. s...s
-Straining misunderstanding through
a veil.
1t will be Sir Alfred Tennyson for the
future.
The most thrilling tale known is that
of the rattlesnake.
The Grangers appear to be holding a
Ceres of elections.
1t is proposed now to make Lincoln's
birthday, February 12, a national holiday.
There will be seven editors in the next
Minnesota Legislature. A substantial col
umn.
Flour is $40 barrel in Cuba, though
Won can get half a harrel for $40 in some
= places. @~7---- =
job wished that his enemy would write
book. But he doesn't, however, he mere
ly reviews it.
When Maryland doctor spells it
'accufortus is it any wonder that his
patients die on his hands?
The photographer who tried to make an
| affirmative out of two negatives has become
disguised with grammar.
Com. Vanderbilt, William B. Astor and
A. T. Stewart are all very nearly the same
age-verging on eighty.
A colored man in Memphis stabbed his
wife fourteen times. 1t then occurred to
him to kill her, which he did.
"A wag, ON being asked for an appropr-
ate inscription to founding asylum, pro-
posed: "Thus far-but no father.'
A Michigan newsdealer recently receiv-
ed this order from young lady: "Send me
A Novel called buffalo bill and the dais
doins."
-" Building castles in Spain, Mr.. So"
said the landlady to Spicer who was
thoughtfully regarding his breakfast cup,
"No, MAJ am" said Spicer, "only looking
over my grounds in Java
john FL. Reagan, who was the Post
master General of the Southern Confederacy
is candidate for the United States Senate
from Texas.
"A butcher recently found shawl-pn
in COW he was cutting up into steaks. 1t
is supposed the animal had swallowed a
milkmaid.
Gle was good man. says an Iowa
paper of deceased itizen, "but then he
sometimes bet on the wrong horse, the same
as the rest of u.s.
When a Milwaukee paper remarked
recently, "The lilac bushes are budding"
a reader said, excitedly, "You lilac Satan"
Rochester Chronicle.
The reason that men are taken to the
station-house when they are found in the
street full of liquor is to give their friends
a chance to bail them out.
- JUNO, ---
sleep ON one leg?" ~ don't think that
anything makes him doit, ma am; it appears
to me that he does it of his own accord"
-"How many deaths last night ?" in
quired hospital physician of nurse.
"Nine," was the answer. "Why, | order
ed medicine for ten." eyes, but one
wouldn't take it."
A New Haven editor spent last Sunday
in Setawson, aid attended church. When
the contribution box came around he was in
doze, but on being nudged, hastily ex-
planned: :" I have a pass.
In a California obituary it is stated
that the deceased was person of romantic
nature. He placed the breech ofhis gun i'll
the fire, and, looking down the muzzle,
departed hence instantaneously."
An enthusiastic African, who chad
spent de winter in Jamaky,' found it an
earthly Paradise. He said he could ''lie
abed and, putting his arms out de windy,
pick oranges, pineapples and Jamaky rum
right off de trees"
THAT is a good story of a little boy,
who going into book store with his mother,
crept up to the juvenile of the establishment
with the sly query, "Say, have you any
good books for boys that amt got religion
in 'cm %
-s' Is Mike McCloskey in the ranks %
| asked General as the army stood in line of
battle "Here, Gineral," said Mike STEP
ping forward. "Then let the engagement
begin" said the General. That is the way
Mike tells the story.
Congressman Fernando Wood is worth
about ten millions of dollars. He is the
owner of some of the most valuable property
| on the island, and choicest parcels of which
are located on the Grand Boulevard and in
the immediate neighborhood Of Riverside
Park.
| A boy, with post-ofice pants and ven-
tilated hat. rushed into a drug store in
Bellows Falls, the other day, with dipper
in his hand, and exclaimed, "Doctor,
mother sent me down to the shottecary pop
quicker'n blazes, cos bulbs sick as the
dickens with the pipen chox, and she wants
a thimbleful of pollygolic in this dipper,
cos we amt got bottle handy, and the
kint pupts got the bine Writer'S in it, Got
any?
George Alfred Townsend calls Gushing
"a traitor to his country and mora1leper +"
Chief Justice Waite is not quite fifty
five years of age. His Ohio admirers say he
is the equal of Charles O'Connor, and yet
whilst the fame of this Nestor of the Ameri-
can Bar, is as wide as the civilized world,
that of Waite is scarcely known beyond
Ohio's borders.
/ A witty Cincinnati lady. writing from