Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-29
BREVITIES.

To CURB a fast young man-Bridal
him.
ST. LOUIS is delighted over her bridge
of size.
To MAKE money-Get an appointment
in the mint.
A BAPTIST OYSTER festival is announc-
ed IN NoTristown.
A GOOD occulist is prepared to meet all
difficulties as they are eyes.
EMBROIDERY representing ivy leaves is
the latest, and very handsome 1t is.
THE taste of poetry, like that for po-
tatoes, is different in different individ-
uals.
A WISCONSIN man has sued his wife
for SANDER, and he wants $4,000 dam
ages.
ARTIFICIAL wants are more numerous
and lead to more expense than natural
wants.
A HAPPY couple living at Adams, n. Y,
have been married over seventy-fOur
years.
MEMPHIS hopes to become the
great radiatirg center of European i'm
migrants"
THE National Republican says that
Washington City is comparatively sin
less city"
CARL BENSON says that the proper tenn
perature for bedroom is about sixty
degrees.
AN Oshkosh man has built steam
wagon, with which to haul wood on lake
Winnebago
In Hazleton, Pa., there are seventy
liquor saloons seen in the face of pro-
hibitory law.
WHEN your antagonist is getting the
better of you, the best way is to "strike
outn-for home.
Do not run in debt to the shoemaker.
It is unpleasant to be unable to say your
sole is your own.
DRESSES woven from bamboo fibers are
the latest things for bellies to do their
bamboozling in.
A WORD to prosy 1overs-It is not only
those women who wear earrings whose
ears are bored.
BENDER proposes to use the velocity of
sound to determine the density of gases
and their molecular weight.
THE season is so spring-like in Califor-
MIA that the people of San Diego were re-
Gently digging in their gardens.
FIVE Philadelphia merchants who on
the 1st of January, 1878, were worth
$3.50, 900 each, are now bankrupts.
AN exchange calls its items "Tail-feath,
ers." 1t is unnecessary to add that
they are plucked from its contempora-
ries.
A RICH old lady in New Haven, Conn,
keeps her hens in the parlor, and feeds
them with jelly-cake and English wal,
nuts.
A COMPANY is organizing in London
for the purpose of purchasing large tracts
of land in the mineral region of West
Virginia.
A NEW YORK paper says that bald
headed man will marry three times to
| any other mans once, all things being
| even.
The man who still thinks there are
only twenty-six letters in the English
language is not connected with the post
| Office.
GoD made man to go by motives, and
| he will not go without them any more
than a boat without steam or balloon
without gas.
| SMALL children. dressed entirely III
white fur, with blue ribbon trimmings
are conspicuous feature of New York
| promenades.
| A MONTANA man has been eXiled from
the Territory under penalty of pitch anc
| plumage, for the crime of marrying
| China woman.
In the assurance of strength there il
strength; and they are weakest, however
| strong, who have no faith in themselve!
| or their powers.
THE wooden nutmeg business has de
| clined; but homemade eggs OF white
maple are now being manufactured a
Bakersville, Conn.
LADIES carry to parties nowadays bou
quets of wax flowers, heavily perfumed
| and so adroitly arranged as to pass fol
natural flowers.
THE snow in the San Juan mines, Utah
! on the list inst, was from two to fifteer
| feet deep, and the miners were pulling VI
stakes and emigrating.
CHE was good man." says an lows
paper of deceased citizen, ''but then he
| sometimes bet on the wrong horse, TIT
same as the rest of u.s."
| JUDGE CHRISTIAN, of Lawrence, Kan
married couple the other day and tool
his fee in butter The parties belonged
to the cream of society.
| A LARGE meteor fell in East Nebrask;
| City, Nebraska, recently | was abOu
one foot and half in diameter and nearly
| six feet in circumference.
A POEM appeared in Boston paper
| lately, written by a servant who lived
twenty years in family" Such cele
hritV should olive readings.
THE woman question agitators at Chi
| cago have declared that they will have tC
be we'll hammered before any more tacks
(tax) can be got out of them.
THE Jew5sb Messenger says Christmas
| trees are a religious ceremony In which
| Jews are not interested, and considers tina
| ''thev promote venial error"
A TOUCHING feature of the Boston tes
] dOings was a group OF sentlmentallsts
who stood for an hour, IN the Chilling
| fog, looking cOntemplatlvely into the
water Of the wrong wharf
IT could not have been so in the days o
Vigilantes; he still lives-the San Fran
cisco man who advocates tight lacing be
cause it prevents waistfullness.
THERE is said to be vigorous CONVEX
sationaIist in Livingston County, KY.
who will hang his hat on gate-pOst anC
talk to it ten hours on a stretch.
THE only infallible method for discov
ering what the weather is likely to be OF
anv giyen day is to wait until that day
arrives, and find out for yourself
AN exborter out West recommended TIL
Christian religion to the ungodly, becaus
he had been a church member fifteen year
and it hadn't cost him but Is cents.