Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1874-06-24
HttinntSnnp.
Sparkling and Bright.

Most people are like an egg, too pbul
of themselves to hold emmy thing else.
The Brooklyn Argps charactcriacs the
hen as the most popular Of females, as she
is engaged for every set
"A Memphis paper says Of little girl
who died there, She's jumping the rope
with the angels to-day"
--" can always tell water when | see
it, remarked Teddy Blossom, the other
day, 81 it looks so much like gin"
"A French wit said Of man who was
exceedingly fat that nature only made him
to show how FAR the human skin would
stretch without breaking.
This is how they report accidents in
Georgia " Bill Bridges, Of Dooy county,
attempted to knock down a zinc tree with
his horse, and killed the latter
"A lady once being asked what she
thought was a good remedy for bee stings,
said she had never found anything better
than to keep away lrom the bees.
"A small Aberdeen child being asked by
her Sunday school teacher, " What did the
lsraeIitcs do after they crossed the Red
Sea ?" answered, do not know maam
but perhaps they dried themselves"
An enthusiastic Yale student gazed
long and earnestly through a telescope at
the movements Of Saturn, aud aiierward
discovered that he had been watching the
reccding head light Of the New York steam
boat.
"A Connecticut man, whose son was III
appealed to the physician, " Do bring him
out Of it right away, doctor do break W
the fever at once, even if you charge as
much as if he went through a whole course
Of fever"
"A Junior asked a young lady the fol,
lowing conundrum If small girls are
waits, are large ones waters? ?" " Certainly
she replied. 4" At any rate, the boys are in
the habit Of applying them to their lips il
sealing their VOWS"
An ostentatious undertaken Of Troy
having charge Of an aristocratic funera
lately, mounted the altar steps aud deliv
cred the following address " Ladies auC
gentlemen will please keep their seats til
the corpse passes out.
A Quaker, having bought a hors
which proved unsound, Of gentleman
named Bacon, wrote to inform him of it
but received no answer. Shortly after
meeting the seller, he requested him t.
take back the horse, which the other pos
itively refused to do. Finding his remon
strances Of no avail, the Quaker calml
said, q" Friend thou hast doubtless hear
of the devil entering the herd Of swine, an
| find he still sticks fast in the Bacon
Good morning to thee, friend"
An anaconda, which was on exhibito
at San Francisco, was fed on rabbits daily
When the snake was taken to Sacrament
for exhibition it was uncertain how lon
the show would stay but the patronage G
the Sacrameutans was generous and tn
agent at once telegraphel for his sho'
posters to "bll the town Inc dspatc
read "Seud two hundred cuts immed
ately;" but, when received, it read "Sen
two hundred cats Immediately 1t was
little Of surprise to the agent in Sa
francisco when he read the message, but b
reasoned that rabbits were scarce in Sacri
mento, and it was necessary to substitut
cats for the regular provender so he starte
out an army OF boys to catch all the stra
cats. BY the afternoon train he sent out
crate of seventy-ive cats, with letter say
ing al send seventy.fve cats by tn
train, and ! will forward the balance t,
morrow but am afraid that number
cats will eat the snake, if they get lose, il
stead of being eaten by him"