Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1874-06-11
HUMOROUS.

Rooted sorrow-An aching tooth.
Why should artists drink paint? Be-
cause it suit their palate. =,
Astwice eleven is twenty-five, how
can twice ten be twenty too? ~ sss
The Oxford, Me-, Democrat give a
disk-lifter as an inducement to subScri-
bers.
Time Is short, and II. your cross be
heavy remember you have not far to
carry it-zsay zssIl EsssfgES.
The Boston Post records an entire
absence OF sunstrokcs for the month of
December. t31N ii9 LA33 Hgd
A New York establishment adver-
tises 'Perfnmed milk baths for the
complexion. 4E 81
Our nervous editor, whenever he gets
excited, goes into the ecomposing-room,
and becomes composed 9i- is
A poor family in Green Bay had to
mortgage their six dogs last week to
get q barrel Of -four. The case is pitia-
-gOIr1 r.8ria ~ aas, !es' Z. ssh p,
The great difference between Byron
and Burns in early youth was that one
wassa Harrow boy and the oth"r a
ploWboy. sts 4 - = - = =
Waynesborough, Pa, boasts Of a
haunted distiilery, which is just the
place where one would naturally look
for spirits.
A malicious person says that cotton
sheeIs and newspaper sheets are alike
in the respect that a great MANY people
lie in them.
A dog with two tails-was seen in
GermallteWn the other day. One be-
longsd to an OK, and was carried in the
mouth of the canine. q sw;~fhoT7
A Sioux city hotle has black and
tan dog that killed thousand rats in a
mouth. This is a good puff for the dog,
but is hard on the hotel. -, s.e ti.,,.,.
An exchange says: Keep an eye out
for the early redemption of payment
Both of our eyes are already out look
ing for it, and 80 are our elbows. rais!.a
The Metropolitan Hotel at Chicago
has full complement of boarders, but
no landlord, he having "skipped the
town." and left for parts unknown.
Recent visitors to the inundated re-
gions of the Mississippi Valley affirm
that the half has not yet been told of
the real extent and degree Of the desti-
tuition in those sections. l..
Aiargely attended 'grasshopper con-
vention' has just been held in Mime
sofa. The general opinion prevailed
that destruction OF the crops this sea-
SON was inevitable. .s,,s.,..s ..,y,-..- ss.
The lower branch of Congress has
just passed bill which provides that
all savings banks doing business as
such, and ali deposits In such banks,
shall be exempt from taxation.
The fact that d nunlh@r Of United
States officers at the Ilrsttxposed from
tier posts are sending i.ieir families out
of harms way, indictes that the In.
diap troubles are likely to prove seri-
Gus.
anew line OF steamers Is just ready
to commence its trips between New
York and Venezuela. The vessels are
American built, and American man.
ned. Such a communication has long
Deeh hceueu.i esli - xtif Bills ~
The estimation in which San Dr
mingo credit il held can scarcely form
an argument for .apnexation, especial
IF we are require TO pay her debts
Her six per cents are worth only ten to
twelve uf-tFF lEF r4'-'5..s 3
The champion conundrum OF the sea
son: Whya man who is forced 10 re-
sign one office by reason of his proved
incapacity, should be Installed in an
o.n,r that is sInp,,sed to require great
probity and intelligence. = - -
Veins of silver ors, have recently
been discovered in the South Noun
tains, Virginia, in the vicinity o
white Gar,' aud the development.
are of such a character as to lead to tbs
expectation of highly profitable result.
therefrom.