The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-12-10
ODDS AND ENDS.

If II young uldu Will WCdI tiSuU DOOto,
he must suffer the consequences.
THE Pope says the good example of a
layman is worth more than sermon.
If your wife is good, kiss her for re-
ward. If she isn't, kiss her for punish
ment.
The most important part of every
mans education is that which he gives
himself.
A LADY positively refused to eat corn
starch lest 1t should impart stiffness to
her manners.
The most bitter critics we have are
those who have themselves failed to write
anything worth reading.
THERE is no law against butting ones
head against stone wall, but as rule
the remuneration is small.
A DRUNKARD is generally a bad argu-
rer, and the Oftener he comes to the pint
the more incoherent he is.
THE crab is the most ungrateful thing
i'm existence. He goes back on every
thing on which he is placed
A CUBAN dollar is now worth only
thirteen cents, but they keep on calling
it dollar, just for the fun of the thing.
EGGS and butter are generally, but
erroncOusly, regarded as perishable ar
ticles, for they gain in strength as they
grow old. sg-
VoLTAIRE said of Mile de Livry: "She
was 40 beautiful that / raised my long,
thin body, and stood before her like a
point of admiration"
JOSH BILLINGS says: ~ am violently
opposed tew ardent spirits as beverage,
but for manufacturing purposes, | think
a little of it tastes good"
IT is the season of the year when peo-
pie should be careful of their fires, unless
they wish to move rather suddenly, and
not take much with them. .,
Two elements of real success in any
undertaking are comprehensive view
of its nature and intents, and a-faithfql
attention to its practical details.
IT may be ennobling to labor, as the
philosopher says, but it's no time to tell
a man SO after he's just finished putting
in two tons of coal with basket.
"There was young woman oman named am menpie'
So she had IL pulled out,
And wore II about
For charm. which was not one too many"
FIRST wife-Dear me, Mrs. Doyle, I
have heard that your husband is a spirit
medium; is it so? Second wife-Medium!
Goodness, yes. Comes home drunk every
night.
A Missouri woman, who applied for a
situation as car driver, being asked if she
could manage mules, scornfully replied,
"Of course / can. I've had two hus-
bandsW
The magician who astonished his au-
dience by changing a canary bird into
rabbit, has found formidable rival in the
man who turned bushel of potatoes into
q barrel.
| MAINE is Growing because the first SER
mon ever preached in New England was
delivered within her borders. The cler-
gyman evidently knew where the gospel
was needed.
HEAVEN, according to the idea Of
Vermont clergyman, is l25,OOO, ,0OO miles
from the earth, and Blobbs stopped being
good at o'clock this morning. He says
1t is too far off,
A TEACHER, questioning little boys
about the graduation in the scale of be.
ing, asked, "What comes next to manT
whereupon a little shaver promptly
shouted, ellis shirt, ma'am"
HEpwoRTH DIxeN has taken back
what he said against American women,
and now he has our permission to go
ahead and hang up his picture in the
lager beer saloons and music stores.
al PRESUME" said Sim Horn, enter
ing hardware store, "yon deal in all
sorts of nails" Certainly" replied the
clerk in attendance. "Then 1 will
trouble you for pound of toe nails"
JOHN ERODE is no more. You prob
ably did not know him. He lived in
Western Missouri, and on entering the
smoke house of a neighbor to see how the
hams got along, trap gun blew his head
off.
AN Illinoinois county clerk refused, to
issue marriage license because the man
was only four feet high while the woman
was six. He said he knew something
about domestic life with the proportions
reversed, and could not assist fellow
man "to buy into lottery when the odds
were so fearfully against him."