The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-09-26


ofthe Reconstruction Law. - Sir he responded,
- it fatigues the indignation -
Kansas farmer soIemnlv-Id,ecIared that n
grasshoPPer sat ON cSte-pOst and threaten
ingy asAed - iilam Bryant, where IN thunder
is the Dai'l' sc Of that cold meat?''
Nov they are trying to get - Mutual Moul-
'.,rrIntO the lecture field ROckland, Maine,
man has offered him - $1,000 for ten lectures,
without reference 10 the Beccher-TIltOn affair. y
A Connecticut man who went west, intending
10 settle there, has returned disgusted. lie went
as far as Kansas City and found 100 lawyers
there and the thermometer llj degrees in the
shade The combination was too much for him,
and he came right home again.
ANOTHER LISK.-Darwin finds another link in
the mulberry tree, because the tree in time be-
comes silk dress, and a silk dress becomes
woman.
CANNOr UNDERsTAND.-The Buffalo Express
cannot understand how 50 large paper rs the
Providence Press can be printed IN Rhode Island,
and asks where the boys stand to fold it. The
folding is probably done on the mail trains where
there Is plenty Of room
What is this for?'' asked the eOlored porter
Mt the-Hotel, Long Branch the other day,
holding out n twenty-five cent note given him by
the gentleman addressed for carrying up his
trunk That" said the gentleman, taking the
note and putting it back in his pocket, was for
vour trouble and this IL for your impudenee,"
and he kicked him eleven feet nine inches and
half into the hallway.
La Mothe was not 4 great writer, but he under
stood human nature Finding that his book had
o slow sale me procured a prohibition against the
reading of it, and every copy was disposed Of
A watertown husband few months ago
agree to give bis wife three dollars week TO
maintain comparative silence, deducting one cent
for each superauOus word she uttered. She now
owes him nearly enough to pay the city debt.
\ stranger who threw ten-dollar bill into the
contribusiOn-bOx Of a Savannah church got trusted
for FIVE hundred dOllars' worth Of goods next day
on the strength of it, and the merchants now
wondering If he'll ever come back.
A LAWYER at Bucyrus, Ohio, stated at tenn
perauce meeting that, having his father
killed by the eareIessness Of n drunken man, he
took n solemn oath never to drink again, - Since
that time he continued, '' have never broken
that oath-at least not very much'
An Irishman found n Government blanket re-
Gently and rolling it up put 1t under his arm
walked of, saying: - Yis, that's moine-U for
Patrick and ; for McCarty; be me sOwl, but this
learnin' is a toine thing, rs my tayther would
saw: for II | hadn't edicatiOn | wouldn't have
been alther findin' the blanket ''-DaHJuTy NeICS.
TuE SoLE DEPENDENCE oF Ne" ORLEANS
Fprron.-rIv boy who came into this Office yes
tertIay sat down on q box, and then bounced up
with veil and fed like one bewitched, is re-
uuestel % return tOur long brass tacks tIat were
standing on the box when he took his seat. No
Questions will be asked-we understand 1t all !;
but We want those tacks; We have use for them.
That box is specially devoted to exchange fends,
and the tacks what We depend on for excite
ment.-N. o. PicaylRe.
VERY AwKwARD.-rhis reads like old story
done over, but il Is good " \ onelegged soldier,
a Mormon. recently asked Brigham Young to
supply, by miracle, the missing limb. but the
apostle, not 10 be caught, made this reply:
can IN an instant produce 4 new leg in the place
Of the old one, but then you see, If do, it will
cause great inconvenience to you in heaven for
after YOUR exnlratiJn TO glory, the original leg
will come back to the spiritual body; mine also,
being OF divine origin, becomes immortal, and,
in this case, observe how very awkward a three
legged angel from tab would appear among the
Inhabitants Of the eternal world -"
A traveller, on his arrival in the city, stopped
for n moment 10 examine coat hanging IN front
OF n clothing store, when the proprietor rushed
out and asked, - Wouldn't you try on some
eoats?'' 50 / dunno but I would responded the
q traveller consulting his time-killeT; and he went
in and he began to work. No matter how often
he found his 1T, he called for more coats; and
after he had tried thirty he looked at hi:
watch again resumed his own garment, and
walked on, saying - / won't charge a cent foI
what We done Hang man who wont oblige an
other when he can do it IL I'm ever round thu
way again, and you've got any more coats to try
ON, III do all ! can to help you