Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-02-05
A LOST BABY.
How Zach Chandler Found One "A a Hack A
Dlsmsyed Congressman.

| Barring the insinuations against "0lt
| Zach's' condition at the time which ar,
evidently cruelty exaggerated, we have reai
| nothing better lately han the folIowing1
| From the Washington Chronicle.
As the delegated stupidity known
as Congress gathers in, the social life
of the national capital exhibits signs
of returning animation. The avenue
upon a sunny afternoon is thronged,
especially after three O'Clock, when
the departments are emptied, and the
pretty little officials hasten down for a
breath of fresh air, and a view of the
fashions. As eanh little official wears
carriage dress that sweeps the dirty
sidewalk with heightened train, they
raise any quantity of dust, and in that
resemble angels in LIQUIDS. The clouds
are not of the cleanliest, and the cyni.
cal spectator has his own thoughts
about the soiled undertaking that
must accompany the process. They
realize in this, however, the poets
description of humanity that says,
"Haf angels and half earth " If the
dear creatures would only keep the
balance and give US half, we'd be con
tent. And then they justify the pious
prediction, "Dust thou art, and unto
dust shalt thou return" every after.
noon at three o'clock precisely.
by the bye, speaking of returning
Congressman, rather good story has
been autographed of q new membem
who arrived with his family, consisting
of wife, five children and nurse. The
economical NJ. G. packed his family in
one hack at 9 p NJ, and drove to Will
lard's. They had been car riding for
many nights and days, and were in
consequence exceedingly fatigued.
Arriving at Wizards, they paid the
hackman, ordered their trunks off, and
trudged YEARLY, half asleep, into that
famous caravansary. The husband,
wife and four children were escorted
into the supper room, after which,
elevated by the coffee and the elevator,
they were carried beyond the juris
dIction of the board of public works
to rooms under the roof We wish to
explain here that as one gets near
heaven he gets further from the board
that excavates only, and is not odor
les either. When the good lady en-.
tered her bedroom she encountered
the nurse, and both exclaimed
"Where's Bobby"
"Why miss" said the nurse, II
tbouuhf you Nod him ~
Nancy" screamed the Mrs. NJ. c.,
"didn't you fetch him in p
"No, mum; | had the three carpet
sacks, the cloaks, baby's clothes, and
| thought you had him."
Now Bobby was the baby, andsthe
frightful discovery was made that the
baby had Jeen left in the hack There
was a frantic rush for the elevator
and the stairs The insane NJ. G..
tried TO burst open the door so as to
precipitate himself down the well. He
then pulled away at the bell until he
broke 1t; then shouting "ire," rushed
down after his wife and four children,
who by this time were in the clerks
otiice trying to make the corpulent and
amlable Mr.. Bagley understand the
horrible situation
Some one suggested the telegraph
and all the police stations were advis
ed OF this loss of congressional in
fancy. But the worst part of it was
that the crazy representative could
not remember the number of the hack,
and the hacks are not remarkable for
ther ready return of lost parcels
We never had but one sent us, and
that was a volume of the Presidents
Message, with several accompanying
documents
In the meantime, the happy husband
made a short excursion into the neigh,
borhood. He hurried through the
hacks on the hack stands, and had all
the retired convicts who drive these
vehicles volunteer to go and search
for the lost child for two and half
hours. Each one was ready to make
aft iavlt that he knew the hack, and
one driver, who ought to have been
hung long ago, swore that he heard
the child cry as the hack drove by
From the hack stand the husba d
hurried to Newspaper Row, and
stirred up the lohemians to the high
est pitch OF excitement by his tale Of
woe. The corpuIent Ramsdell sat
down and wept; Adams blew his
nose, while Boynton plllosophically
remarked that the loss Of baby was
somebody's gain, and Preston added
that it was a loss easily repaired, and
so the night wore on.
What became of that hack, with the
precious lit lc burden, is the most in
teresting part OF the narrative. 1t
seems that our old friend Zach Chand-
Ter, the great Michigander, who goes
incoming about all sorts of late hours,
found himself on Four and half ~,
in such state of absent mindedness
that he could not tell where he was or
where he ought TO be. In these EN-
ergencies he insiinctiyely calls hack
All the hackmen In town know the
great Michigander, and entirely re-
rardIess of what he orders or says,
they invariably drive him home, stop
ping at all the sample rooms and bars
on the way. On this occasion he
halted hack, and getting in, said as
he did 50;
"Takeme' omedamnyou."
Sitting down upon the hack seat he
was startled by wild cry that almost
sob4red him. This will sound like
| exacceration, bat it's fact. Itcame
very near bling case of spoiled
child, for cd Zach. had hinged two
hundred pounds of senatorial beef and
whiskey on the lost child OF the lower
house. He started up with such VIC.
lence that his head struck the top OF
the hack, nearly bouncing the driver
off his seat, more, however, with as
constituent than jolt.
| Old Zach. resolved himself into an
1