The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-01-31

corn.cobs, snow and other ingredients whic
mixed as they were, made sort OF paste OF III
known depth, remarkably adhesive ana OF pr
digious powers of hespatteratlon, which for sho
NAV be called Seneca Cream. Though this crcal
was vigorously churncd all the afternoon an
evening 10y passing teams we were unable
discover any butter as the result. III was anus
inc to watch the various manners IN when al
ferent pedestrians viewed the question OF gettin
around the town, or more properly of efcctin
nedo.novieation, Some would stand on door
stem and look first in the direction OF the objet
tive point to be reached. Then the party woul
scratch his head look at the mud. then at HI
boots, and after n swear or two boldly plunge il
and make his point or perish in the attempt. An
other would recklessly go hither and thither il
straight lines; another would trip around in al
sorts of angles and zigzags, and generally ge
worse mudded than il he had rushed slowly but
determinedly forward. From all this we deducted
AS a safe general rule, never to get mad and
swear when IN the mud, nor hesitate or waiver
neither 90 it blind nor be too rapid but be armand
cool while perambulating the city. (Ahcm! this
is a johc on Chlcago)
We pi. ked up sundry items;
MUSIC.
Efforts are being made to get up a class in
mnsic--to be taught how to artisticaly play upon
the organ aud piano, by Prof. Marsh, OF the
Academy of Music, of Ottawa, who is to visit
Seneca once week for that purpose. About
fifteen names had been obtained when we left.
IMPROVEMENTS.
The only late improvements that we remember
is an addition 10 Mr.. L. Epple's grocery store
and fluid dispenoatory. That distinguished
singer of mortar, Mr.. Carpenter, ably assisted
by Mr.. McNamara, is doing the lime work in
spite of the weather.
BUTCHERS.
Hoag 81 Deyereaux asked us to give them u
little puff for cent. We want the cent first.
SHOT RABBIT.
Lawyer Thomas is said to have recently shot
rabbit, alone and unassisted. The rabbit WAS not
killed nor wounded, but fearfully scared, yet not
so badly as the lawyer. Both ran away but the
law erker passed the rabbit.
AGAY rEAMsTER.
A chap at Seneca wears a plug hat, and drives
a span of horses with Ii ivory or bone rings on
the checks ring in that fellows nose would
make him more gay than an African dandy gor.
geously dressed up with nothing on but few
tottoes in his left cheek!
THE EMERALDs.
The Emerald Benevolent society of Seneca
numbers 60 members. A, Vaughcy, Esq, is its
presiding officer. The society has elegant and
appropriate regalia and good hall, 1t will turn
out in style on st, Patrck's day.
THAT FIDDLE TRADE
Richardson, the shorter OF the drugger fellows,
recently traded forty dollar fiddle and Is dol
lar guitar for fifteen dollar shotgun. He now
proposes to trade the gun for a 81 bob-tailed
(Robert narratiyed) dog, then borrow the gun
and shoot the dog and then wind up the affair
by wasting ten cent rat.tail file in spikng the
gun ard throwing the gun into the canal. He
claims he could do all this and clear fourteen
dollars and thirty-one cents in the transaction
That boy was cut out to become quite wealthy
nabob.
THOSE SHOES.
We went to Morrissy's for something to inter
fcrc between our feet and the mud. We tried on
a No. II shoe,-that is, we tried to get 1t on. 1t
wouldn't slide over. Then Morrissy told us to
greese our foot and try the box on. AS the box
was ten bushel dry goods concern which Tom
had stolen from Vaughcy, we were afraid to
make Vaughey mad by walking Off with his box,
besides as there was no other box in Seneca
large enough for the other foot we did not trade
FLOODED STOCK.
Dan. Shade the popular May or Of Seneca, talks
Of making a trip to France this coming spring to
buy bloodcd horses
ia BOILED OVER.
We met large boil in front of Justice Bur
wells Office escorting that gentleman out. The
boil had him by the back OF the neck, and held
him 50 tightly that he could not turn around
without the bois permission!
FASHIONABLE BALL.
seneca was agog in consequence of II magniti- |
cent 9th avenue ball, given by the elite of that
section on the evening OF the day mentioned At |
3 A. MA. NJ, stands for Immediately before |
breakfast tine girls arose and washed them. |
selves vigorously during the next hour; then |
he fires were examined in their frizzles and the |
paper knobs screwed up one turn tighter BY
linc o'clock the more stylish Of the young dam !
sells had twisted their hair up so tightly that
hey couldn't shut their cyc-lids and at ten their
eeth could no longer come within an inch OF
meeting. At II they dined on two spoonfuls of
old mush and molasses, to make 'cm soft and
sweet At II they began to dress, and having
.atcn nothing for three days, to make their
waists more narrow, they were enabled to squeeze
hem elves down to the last hole in their corscts.
3rom this hour till p NJ. tic process Of frizzing,
,uriing, brushing and all the tedious and endless
abor of getting inside Of frllls, tlabdabs and fam
nadidles continued. The last dab of red and
white was waited to their checks at s o'c'oc
and eleven minutes precisely, and their eau
equally finished in elaborate starchy s iffne >,
and in a cloud OF pcrfumery, being in wal ing,
The magnificent carriage (Thomas' G ,press
wagon was entered, aud thus Il ey C ,mc by
couples 90 Emerald Hall, where v ills ~ Cooks
band discoursed sweet music, and the witching
girls and pensye lads were swallowed up in a
sea Of delicious odors, blissiul dream of loves
ideal EeaHen, and earthly realities faded in a
fairy scene Of ndscrbable gushingness,-wc