Middletown transcript., 1874-08-29
Took the Starch Out Of Him.

| Que was une Oiu iauy-Onc VI tu0
kind who knew how to knit : stocking or
market the eggs Of last weeks laying
| Above all things on earth, she detestsd
that class Of young people who think them
selves better than their fathers before
them. and it delighted her beyond mea-
sure to take the starch out Of them.
Being in mood for visit to the city,
she got into the car on the Pennsylvania
Central, with an old-fashioned carpet bsg
and band box, on her way to visit some
friends in the city.
As she took her seat her eyes rested
upon young man with his hair parted in
the middle, dressed in gorgeous attire,
with his ambrosial locks highly scented,
and his clothes cut in the height of fash
iona perfect specimen Of the young men
who lounge in the lebbies Of theatres and
operas, between the acts. and say 'au' and
ya-as' when you speak to them.
It happened that Aunt Jane knew this
young man, and he knew her as was we'll
shown by the horrible manner in which
he regarded her.
1.-The sakes alive, John Henryw she
said, I" How du yew du ?"
"Au! I'm pretty WE'LL madam" he re-
piled, casting furtive glance about the
car to see that no one who knew him heard
her address him by that dreadful name
John Henry-he wrote his name j Henri
Boone
"Hew's your father?" the old lady per-
sisted Il du like your father, unfertu-
nit as be has been in dizziness knowed
l. l. l.. La T,,ll I
remember you wasn't knee high to grass
hopper. Lordy, how you used to tear the
seat out of your pants p
Ya-as; but, madam"
Don't madam me; can't stand it,
I'm Aunt Jane Parker, and I've spanked
you off n enough. The Lord knows you
needed it! Dew you remember them yell
low homespun pants gave you, once upon
time? Your father was awful poor them
days helped him every way could.
1t was dreadful hard times for poor man
to get along with dozen lazy young ones
to clothe and feed, Lots of johnnycake
and suet gravy them days. dunno what
he would have done if it hadn't been for
the tater crop. That saved him, guess "
A young lady just behind them. with
whom j Henri had been trying to firt,
at this moment caught a glimpse Of his
horrid face, and covered her mouth with
her handkerchief Her delicate frame
shook with cmotion-or laughter, it is
hard to tell which.
Whats your father a-dewin' now,
John Henry?' demanded Aunt Jane,
beaming upon him like seraph.
g He is in the iron business" replied
John Henry with despairing look
$50 | heerd, shoein' horses, amt he ?"
j. Henri Boone began to get uneasy in
his seat. What would the young lady
think of him? What would this scandal
Gus old female think of next? He felt
shudder pass through his frame, for he
could not tell what she would hunt up
again.
Good grashus.'' p she said, breaking
out abruptly ''How well | member the
time yew went out to steal Squire Far
leys melons He he it makes me larff
when | think of it, You see," she con-
ued, addressing the young lady "he un-
dertuk tu run, and he got caught by the
slack of his pants on picket, and there
he hung, like General Putnam, till Squire
Farley cum out, licked him awful, and
TUX him down. He was all stripes and
bruises, tell yer'
Madam" said J. Henri. desperately,
81 don't remember any such circum-
stance"
"Don't ye? Good grashus? l mem
ber it as we'll as ef it was Yesterday. I've
got powerful memory, John Henry l
thought you went into the barbar bizi-
ness
:. You are mistaken, madam am not
engaged in any low calling of that sort
.'Mebbe not did hear that ye left
the biziness bccoz the customers sed you
soraped 'em so awful they couldn't stand
it,
Here the young lady laughed, without
any attempt at coneealment
9 What are ye dewin', if | may be SO
bold as tew ask p
Madam, | am an electric physician"
q What's that p
a A doctor, madam, DOCTOR" roared
John Henri
Are ye? Grashus Peter. thought
ye was a fiddler I"
j Henri Boone picked up his valise
and made rush for the smoking car, and
Aunt Jane was satisfied. She had taken
, the starch out of him.
,.D Al. T.. stD