The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1874-06-18
w. G.. BRowNLoy
Knoxville, June l, 1874.
A Crusaded Mans Complaint.

From the Cincinnati Commercial.
Now (said man to reporter Of the
Commercial yesterday l am a temper
ance man, but | am opposed to this cru
SADIE; and | will tell you why 1t has
destroyed the peace of my family. As |
said, L am temperate man myself; l
haven't touched a drop of whisky, beer,
ale or wine for don't know when. These
things don't agree with my stomach,
and l couldn't drink them if | wanted
to.
We were getting along very well in our
family. | think we were very happy
at least the neighbors said we ought to
be. But when this movement com
menced my wife got it INTO her head that
she must crusade. | think my mother
in-law put her up to it. My wife said the
Lord called her to this work. ltried TO per
suade her out of the notion. said we
couldn't afford to hire another girl, aud
that she had better stay at home aud
help me rear our family. But she insist.
ed that the Lord must be obeyed, and
of course | had to cave In. Well, she
went out, and has been lii the business
for the past three months. never
thought woman could stand as much as
that wife Of mine has gone through. She
told me last night that in the past three
months she had made hundred and ten
speeches, ninety-seven prayers, and has
walked on an estimate, four hundred ana
ei~hty-nine miles. When she gets home at
night from the war she is completely Tag
ged out, and doesn't feel anything like her
self until she has taken six or eight cups
of strong tea.
Our gentle household has been COM
pleteIy revoutionized. We cant keep
even one girl now. My wife drives
them off as fast as hire them. She says
she isn't around all the time to see to
them, and can't trust them with me.
The consequence is l haven't had good
square meal at our house for the last
quarter of year, and the children are
diving from neglect. The fact is L can't
myself feed aud clothe these children prop
erly, because Of my not being raised to
it, | have done the best | could, but
some how man can't get up good do
nestle meals, and wash and iron clothes,
and put them on children so as to look
neat But my wife says L can't learn
Younger; it is my duty; she has been
called TO this blessed work, and has en-
listed for life or during the war wish
to the Lord this cruel war was over
Why don't these saloon keepers quit, if
for no other purpose than that OF stop
ping the misery in the homes Of the cru
saders.
NV wife carries on the crusade at home
to keep herself in practice, | suppose.
She gives me long temperance lecture
every night | say | don't drink. But
she says, grant that l do drink, just for
the sake Of an argument When she
finishes her speech she brings out the
pledge and makes me sign 1t. If have
signed that blasted old pledge once, /
have hundred times. Then she makes
me pretend that | am in the saloon bu-
siness. We get out the wash-stand and
set the camphor bottle and vinegar jug
on it. aud l stand behind it, in my shirt
sleeves, like a saloon-keeper. On the
counter are some scraps of stuff on a
plate to represent free lunch. l stand
there handing out the vile camphor and
vinegar that are carrying sorrow to so
many homes, when my wife comes up
and sings in front Of my saloon. She
beseeches me to quit my awful calling,
and go to canvassing for subscription
books, driving a night-cart, or some other
respectable business. | get mad and
call for the police. and order my wife out
of the house. But she keeps on, and at
last my heart is touched. / pour the
camphor out into the cream-pitcher, and
the vinegar into the wash-basin, 50 as not
to waste them, and say | will never en-
gage in the business again. | sign the
pledge few times, and put up my traps
at auction.
Sometimes we have another play,
which my fanatical wife has arranged for
me- | 60 and drink glass OF cold tea,
! imagining it to be beer; | become very
drunk, and 90 home and kick up terri
| bic row. | smash the furniture, and
beat my poor starving family. Mad
dened with that glass OF beer, | rob, steal,
murder, and do all sorts of horrible
things. Just about this time my wife
happens around as a crusader, and hands
me little tract. | glance att careless
ly through my bleared eyes, and 10!
am instantly changed man. | take the
pledge, wash myself up and in a very
short time am rich man, surrounded
by very large, hourishing and happy
| family. All of this tomfoolery my wife
I says will have good influence on the chill
dren.
Now, that will give you sort of al
idea of how things have been going on a
our house. don't enjoy it. 1t seem
pretty hard that a man who has lived t.
my age and tried to do right should hav,
to suffer in this way. This seems al
right to my wife, but blamed if | can Sc
it. She says that if man goes and drink
a glass of beer and gets drunk, he can
not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Well
then, | say, let him stay out. Becaus
he should make fool Of himself is n
reason why our innocent family shoul
agonize about it. She also says, curse
be he who putteth the cup TO his neigh
boris lips. | say certainly; but let thes
saloon-keepers look out for themselves
So far as | know these cups are put t
mighty willing lips. To hear my wifi
talk, you might suppose that the saloon
keepers rushed out of their dens like sp
ders and nabbed innocent young men b
! the collars as they were walking by o
the street, hauled them into their dens
choked them down on the floor an
poured whisky down their throat an
: ruined them.
g / think my heart is in the cause {
. temperance, but know would be
: better Christian if | got better meals, an
! if things went on all right at home.
A New York man who believes in az
3 vertising, paid bill of SIS, 900 the otht
day for years work, but it was none