Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-06-11
Aumuruns department.

story IS tOlu OF the late Judge heyeS, OF YER
mont. The judge always had about him a
number of workingmen. Among them was a
man named Amassa. One day he ordered
Amassa-or, as the judge always called him,
Sampson-to cut down crooked, unsightly
tree on the brink of his mill,pond.
The Judge stood by watching the progress
of the work. "Sampson" was like most young
Vermonters, at home with the ak, and soon
reached the heart of the tree two or three
strokes more would suffice. Seeing the judge
was in position to be hit with the limb of
the tree when it fell, he said:
"You had better move, judge or you will
be hit"
"Cut the tree down, Sampson" was the re-
sponse.
Two more strokes, then seeking that unless
newed his suggestion.
"Cut the tree down, Sampson; just as the
old man tells you" said the judge.
One more stroke, and the last ;.down came
the tree and down came the old judge, also,
into the water. Sampson quickly jumped in
the water and dragged the judge on the shore,
his face all scratched and bleeding, and near
ly strangled by his sudden bath. Blowing
the water from his mouth, like a spouting
whale he said
"That's right, Sampson, that's right; al
ways do just as the old man tells you"
A Coop SToRY-Here is a good story
from Israel Washburne, Jrs, History of the
town of Livermore, Me: "Nezer DALEY set
tied on the west side of the river, below the
Falls. He owned, at one time, the mills
built by Deacon Livermore, at Brettun's;
sold them and moved on to farm above
North Turner Bridge. His son Warren lived
in the same neighborhood, and had stam
mering speech, which, while it obstructed, gave
peculiar effect to his recitals of the successes
and disasters associated with the Grow hunts
to which he gave much of his time. His
father had second wife who, for some reason,
failed to enjoy the devotional exercises of her
husband, which were often tedious and always
loud, but which she and her step.son Warren
were enjoined to attend. AS soon after Mr..
Daley had commenced his morning prayer
as was safe, his wife would quietly leave the
room. When this practice was discovered,
the husband, to prevent her going out, locked
the door; but the precaution was unavailing,
for the wife escaped through the window.
When the husband preceived how completely
the old lady had fanked him, hisexpressions
Of annoyance and vexation were scarcely in
harmony with those which had so lately fal-
len from his lips; nor were they softened by
the advice which his son took occasion to give
him: 'D-daddy,' said Warren, you should
w-w-watch as we'll as pray"
A NEW "PLANT"-An enthusiastic village
granger is monomaniac on the subject of
potato culture. He is forever planting and
digging up and planting afresh. The other
night he experienced an agricultural pang of
the first water. "A happy thought plant
few potatoes before retiring, and make an OBJ
servation in the morning just to see the ef
fects ofsowing in a snow-storm Excusing
himself from his doting wife, our granger
made his way to the kitchen, grasped a small
basket of doughnuts, and sailed out into the
darkness and slush, in the direction of his
vegetable patch. Procuring spade, he
hid ground, and one by one he deposited the
contents of the basket equidistant along the
trench, which he afterward covered, and then
returned to the house.
The next morning his wife, first to rise, was
heard to intone from the foot of the stairs,
George, you surely did not eat up all the
doughnuts that were in this little basket last
night, did you? I declare you devour every
thing you lay your hands on
George penitently acknowledged the feast,
pleading that he felt lawful hungry, and
wasn't aware that he had consumed the whole
lot until he felt again for still another, and
found that none remained"
1t is natural to divine that George neglect
ed the garden that morning-and ever since.
A DOUBTFUL COMA correspondent re-
lates the following story of coachman who
had evidently never puzzled his head with
chronology or any other kind Of ology: "a
friend of mine was riding few days ago on
the outside of the coach, when the driver said
to him, give had coin guv to me to-day two
hundred years old. Did you ever see coin
two hundred years old %
30, yes; have one myself two thousand
years DID,"
"Ah!" said the driver, "have YEP" and
spoke no more during the journey. When
the coach arrived at its destination, the driver
came up to my friend with an intensely self:
satisfied air. and said, II told you as we druv
along, had coin two hundred years old"
"Yes"
"And you said to me that you had one two
thousand years DID,"
"Yes, so I have"
"Now that's lie."
"What do you mean by that?"
"What do I mean? Why it's only 1S74now!"
AGRATEFUL WoMAN-Ona seeping.car
the other night, one lady exclaimed, in
solemn voice, 90, how dry I amp There
was moments pause, and again rang out,
20, how dry I am! "Won't somebody get
that woman drink ?" howled an old gentle.
man, who, being rheumatic, and occupying
an upper berth, could not very we'll do it
himself The demand was complied with, and
the grateful sound of gurgling water was
soon heard Then there was moment Of
silence, and following itcame the same solemn
tones, 20, how dry 1 was?" There appeared
to be no doubt about it by the occupants of
the car, and, if the truth could have been
known, they were unselfshly glad that she had
found relief; and they composed themselves
afresh for sleep. Then the voice again smote
the air, 20, how dry was" Every body
started, and every eye was distended. 80,
how dry I was!" repeated the grateful wo-
man. "Then dry up!' screamed the gallant
gentleman in the upper berth. She did.
A ADEAD HORSE DRIVEN NINE MILES,
Bill Wharley recently died in the Fayette
conntv Pennsylvania moor housa and he