The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1874-12-03
The Bulletin.
THURSDAY. DECEMBER 3, 1874.
PARAGRAPHS.

A Cincinnati critic mistakes the lead
or of an orchestra for an engineer on an
Ohio river steamboat lie recommends
the virldcr of the baton ITO keep a firm
hand ON the throttle valve"
-Boy> will he moys. At Alt"n' ilI'-
noi.. q preacher asked all Sunday-scliool
scholar. to stand up who intend to visit
the wicked -oul-dc-troying circus. MI
Int Il lame girl stood up.
when the Arkansas crn-,IS-iakcr
next gor> around hc will find Peter BAY
ton missing from earth. The old man
found package aud threw II on the lir"
to see IL it wa. powder or sand. II wasn't
sand.
a man once called on President Lin
cnlu. lie had -hakcn hands with him.
observing Don't he scared, Mr.. Tin
coin: don't want an office. ~, that
soy" asked the president then give ~
another shake
-".Nrgumrntum AL homincm -
Horse dealer know you don like hi,
cad. and allow lac amt got purity cad,
hut lor'-now look ut Gladstone, the
rlcycrcst man in all England and look
1T j. cad
Said "A Detroit lady 10 shi"n hoy
" HON she fDupd crying In the street the
other day: Twill yon stop crying if ] will
give YOU penny" NO said he: hut il
you'Il make 1t two cent, I'll stop il II Kills
me. q"
"A young lady at home from boarding
school for tile holidays was asked il she
would have roast beef. when She replied,
NO thank you: astronomical safety
adnionishcs me that have arrived at tn,
ultimate stage OF dcglutition consistent
with dictctic integrity" The young lady
was never asked il he would have any
thing again.
"A distinguished clergyman. DR.
Ilawc>, used Ia say that hi style q
preaching was nodded by the criticism
ct DIR. Einmon> on single sermon. Dl
| Halves read II paper to his tutor cxubei
AMI with Rhetoric. joel" said the sag,
kept school once. When punishc
the boy, ! AWAY, stripped the leaves o
the rod''--drawin2 his imaginary ro
through the fingers.
"A New \ orkcr wa, introduced To
Cleveland gentleman to-day, and ne
hearing hi> name distinctly, remarked
II beg your pardon. sir. hut ! didn
catch YOUR name. But my name j.
very hard one Ia catch" replied the gcl
'lcman: perhaps it is the hardest nam
YOU ever heard" Hardest name cy,
heard III bet n bottle of wine that M
name i Harder. replied the Ne
Yorker. An right, said the Clcyelai
man: my name j. Stonc--Amasa .
stone. Ston" j. hard enough. lint ii,
Ia take thi- bottle of wine - 'Prctt
hard name. Reclaimed the New Iorke
"but my name j. lIardcr-Norman !
Ilar,lcr--aud bet my name was Harder.
The joke cost Mr.. Stone just s27 81.
"A lad had to come Ia hi- minister {,
examination previous to hi becoming
member of the church The paste
knowing That hc Wa not very protour
Ia hi, Theology. and not wishing 10 iii
courage him. or keep him from the tab
unless compelled Ia do 80, began by a,I
ing what he thought n safe question. al
what would give him confidence. so !
asked him how many commandment
there We're. After a little thought. Il
young man put his answer in the mode
form Of n srlppOsition, and cautiously r.
piled. ".\iblin, a hummer" The mini>t,
was yrNcd and told him such ignorau,
was nlolrrablc. that he could not PR
coed in the examination. and that II
youth must wait and learn more: so i
went away. Ca returning home. he IN,
a friend on hi, way To the mansc. aud a
learning thai lac too was going To III
minister for examination, -hrcwdl
asked him. 'Wrcl. what will YOU ~
moo, il the minister spears hoo mon
commandments there ar. - SAY
why. ~hall -"S ton. 4" be sure,
To which The other reioincd with grri
triumph. Ten, Try yc him wi ten
riicd him with q hummer. aud lac wa, u
satisfied,