Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-03-05
BREVITIES.
A GOOD floor mana ger-A broom.


THE Maine chance-The thermometer
below zero.
WHAT is the keynote of good breedings
B natural.
ELECTRIC belles-Female telegraph
operators.
SMALLPOX prevails in various parts OF
Georgia.
A BAD habit to get into-A coat that is
not paid for.
ALL overskirts are now made with a
diagonal point in front.
A NEW paper in Hudson county, n. j,
is called the Highland Fling.
/ New YORK claims one drinking saloon
| to every $50 of its population.
A HUNTINGDON (Tenn.) negro claims to
| be the father Of siXty-fve children.
THE attempt to weave zephyr worsteds
! of heir-looms has proved failure.
A LITTLE old maid says that the small
est women look hopefully to Hymen.
A GUNsMITH's shop is like chicken
pie, because it contains fOWl-in' pieces.
WHY is a hog good mathematician
Because he is good on square root"
ALREADY many of the retail stores in
New York display spring and summer
goods.
PARTIES going over the ocean should be
warmly clothed. The steamers are always
coaled.
FEMALE voices in choir are dangerous
| to religion, says the Archbishop OF San
tiago.
THEY say that Memphis is no cleaner
| now than before the cholera epidemic last
summer.
| PURPLE is one of the most fashionable
colors of the season, and is seen in almost
every material
A PAIR of sparrows, having family to
| bring up, will consume over 5000 cater
pillars week.
A WESTERN paper says that recently
workman's head was blown from between
his two ears.
A PHILADELPHIA merchant advertises
grease extractor that will be useful to all
who wear Clothes"
GERMAN immigration to the South is
subject seriously discussed and generally
encouraged by the planters.
MORE than half million lives are now
insured by the two hundred and odd COM
panies engaged in that business.
Mrs. CHANDLER, of Clinton, Iowa, has
just had cancer amputated that measur-
ed twenty inches in circumference.
A Troy woman says that if death loves
shining mark, it is singular that it has
not aimed at her husbands nose before
this.
COFFEE is higher in gold than ever
known in this country before, but burnt
beans is a cheerful food and cheap as
ever.
Dro,, DDoCroD hos 1ziTIo6 +J,o mon n
the moon, for he demonstrates that there
is no atmosphere on the moon and no life
there.
A MALICIOUS person says that cotton
sheets and newspaper sheets are alike IN
the respect that great many people lie
in them.
LEATHER is now used to- line the bottom
of walking skirts, and is said to be the
best thing for the purpose ever intro
duced.
AN Easton Pa) gourmand ate forty-five
fried oysters and quart of chicken salad
at one sitting, and still lives to make ahog
of himself
CARLYLE says "discourtesy originates
in dullness alone,' so, when a man calls
you an ass, you can console yourself that
he's stupid.
A HOPEFUL little Latter-Day Saint neal
Ogden, Utah, aged twelve, got drunk the
other day and killed valuable horse with
a pitch-fork.
DIGGING horse-radish is profitable bust
ness in Omaha. While engaged at the
business the other Gay man dug up
$4,000 in gold.
SKIRTS are now made as scant as they
were two months ago. About three
yards around is now the proper and fash
ionable fullness.
THE highest newspaper office in the
world is at Cerro de PascO, village on
the slope of the Andes, $4,000 feet above
the level of the sea.
THEY wear the bonnet very far back on
the head, and great many people spend
their time wondering how it is kept on
the feminine head.
THE difference in the length Of passage
made by the Cunard steamship Parthia,
on her last two trips from Queenstown to
Boston, was just eight minutes.
AN English grammar appears to be
needed in the West Virginia Legislature,
which lately passed an act to "prevent the
owners of hogs from running at large"
Ice can be nodded into any shape from
round to square, drawn into bar, and
even tied in a knot, if we had suitable APP
paratus, yet ice will not stretch.
THE experiment recently tried in some
of the public schools of using a news
paper for reading exercises instead of a
reading book is proving great success.
AN undertaken in Minnesota, wishing
TO sell out, presents as an inducement to
inquirers the fact that a young doctor OF
no experience has just settled in the town:
A FARMER named Rice. near Dunleith
Ill, was attacked by bull while feeding
| cattle not long ago, and severely injured.
His horse, tied to a fence near by, was
killed.
ACCORDING to DR.. Holland, "the average
American, in the average American res
taurant, eats his dinner in the average
time of six minutes and forty-five sec
onds"
THE Nava Court declares that "the
sinking of the Virginius under the cir
| cumstances was unavoidable" It has
been supposed it was under the salt sea
waves she sank.
| ONE of the very best letter carriers in
| New Haven is woman. She is neither
meddlesome nor inquisitive. Sweet
hearts are always delighted to receive
| their little billet-doU from her.
| MORE patents were issued in 1878 to
| Connecticut inventors than for those of
any other State, according to population.
| Connecticut is like necessity, in that she
/ is the mother of invention.
ARTIFICIAL or natural flowers fastened