The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-08-08
: Nest of ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee

This is how 1t happened. They were on 4 roof
in Chicago. The next roof was fifteen feet lower
He told her if she jumped down he would follow.
She did, but he didn't. She broke her leg, and
he broke his promise, Then she broke she en-
gagement.
The Detroit Free Press having innocently stated
minister more back salary than the congrega-
ton can pay, they drown him, the Louisville
Courier Joarnal flies up and says;
Well, what is there strange about the affair:
Would YOU have parcel of Christians to work
five or six months to pay their minister his sal
AIRY when they could drown him in five or six
minutes?
The following order, rerbdtint 81 Herat;"', is
said to have been received by an undertaken from
an afflicted widower:
"Sur, my WYE is ded, and want to be berried
to-morro ut wunnor klock. u nose where to dig
the holc-hy the side of my too uthcr wyfs. Let
it be deep"
A Granger says that where the Welsh narson
in merry Wives of Windsor exclaims:
But stay, smell a man of middle earth
the true reading is evidently:
But stay, / smell aaidle man of earth.'
He infers from this new reading that William
ment, and held mddlcmen in bad cdor.
Kentucky husbands address their wives in the
same cndcaring terms as when they were sweet
hearts. "Come, darling" one hears them say,
|" come darling, come in and get dinner or III
bust yer old red head with club"
Woodruff says that Wilkeson, who undertook
the publication of Beecher's Life Of Christ, beg
ged and implorcd her. three years ago, not to say
what she knew about the Brooklyn divine, for
il would knock the life of Christ higher than a
kite"
The Marshall, H., HeSScHg,- mentions that an
Nrstocratic young lady of that vicinagc thought
to Maud Mullcnzc by "raking the meadows sweet
with hay" Presently, AS she swung her rake,
she stood over yellow jackets nest. First jump
from the score, II feet Distance to the house,
half mile. Time, two minutes.
\ Danburian, who was in New York Saturday,
came up with the wild statement that he had
seen a hotel clerk with side wiskers. That is
more of a lie than one man should undertake to
tell. Hair growing On the check of hotel clerk
! Scat,
Collins Graves, who rode SO fast down the Mill
river valley to warn the people of approaching
danger, is said to be the first milkman who ever
ran away from water.
cosby Washington correspondent tells this
pleasant story;
The day after Speaker Blaine got his back up
| In the House, IN Illinois Congressman said Ia
him, Mr.. Blaine, am not very familiar with you,
and so ! cannot speak AS freely as would TO an
| old friend. But feel ought 10 tell you that
YOU made a fool of yourself yesterday Blaine
answered with u sigh, Il am afraid did forget
myself Then he added, What Kind Of language
do YOU use when reproying man with whom
you consider yourself thoroughly intmatcT
Some one has been looking over the records
of the Legislature of West Virginia and finds
that at its last session ii passed law " To pre-
vent the owners of hogs from running at large"
That is equal TO the law Of Illinois few years
ago that inflicted a tine Of i've dollars on any
man "who drove across bridge"
A contemporary calls his items Nits," 10 show
that he gets them out Of his own head
II is limited that perhaps the ransom demanded
for stolen children in Philadelphia is desperate
resource To Increase the Centennial fund.
The Lord Mayor of London made an cxtraor-
binary pun at public dinner the other day
dpTopos Of certain recent bcstowals of titles say
that he Thoughts man OF shilii, ought Ia rank
A