The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-11-28
PETTY LARCEN l IS


fuency and beauty throw hot
nickle into the extended palm OF
an organ-grinder.
-"How many people," Says Jere
my Taylor, "are busy in this world
gathering together q handful OF
thorns to sit upOn."
When q widow in any neigh
borhood sets her cap for young
man, there II not ono chance in a
million for q young woman to win.
even il she holds the four aces.
III life insurance companies had
been in business in Palestine at the
time, wouldn't Methuselah have
been a heavy rsk--life policy, for
instance, annual premium from his
twentieth to bis 060th year.
The spire Of the Cathedral Of
Strasburg is no longer tina highest
in Europe. The steeple of It.
Nicholas Church. just completed at
Hamburg, is Az feet in height,
which ec,ipses Strasburg by 6 feet.
"A Pittsburgh preacher has
been requested to repeat his scr
mon, and ''say it SLOW" In one Of
his sentences he remarks: "The
marvellous multidinousness Of the
minute minntin Of the corroborat-
ing circumstances are the insur
monntable difficulties which unmis
takably prevent the skeptic from
discovering truth"
AT q teachers institute in
Scottsville, KY, the question arose,
"Wby is it that ~ pig may drink n
bucket Of s'op and then be placed
in that same bucket and not all it ~
The teachers having all failed to
give satisfactory solution, the
question was referred to Capt. Glib
Mn|ligaD, who at once rendered his
decision that there must have been
leak about the pig. There was
no further discussion.
"A strange man, who wanted to
20 on the train, but missed it,
walked up and down the depot in
a high state Of excitement, berating
himself and every one else. ~
know just what my wife will say 7"
he exclaimed, as he walked up and
down. "When that train gifts thar
and she won't see me, she'll git
right up and jump over chairs and
smash crOckery and swear Pun Off
on another drunk y
-"BE BRIEF, I'm SICK."-Radi.
cal officials around Washington
were perfectly tl'understruck when
tho election news began to pour in
from all quarters, and Hiram Use
less went home and locked himself
mp for two days. On tie morning
Of the third day Secretary HriStow
vcnturcd to 60 to the mansion to
inform him Of the terrible defeat.
Grant listened u few moments, and
when Bsistow commenced tcllin.
him about Massachusetts having
gone Democratic. he impaticntly re,
marked: b" Re brief. Pm sick.r
A MODERN SHER1FF.-Accord
ing to the Kinds County Gazette.
there Ia u newly elected Sheriff in
one Of the swamp counties who has
invented u new style Of court pro
cecdings. Being told by the Judge
to open court, he proceeded thusly:
call Court call Court
Call w. II. Jones and a. F..
Moore said the Judge.
wv. II. Jones and A. =. Moorc,'
yelled the sheriff.
'One at q time, Mr.. Sheriff"
'One vt timc-one ut a time.
Now you have fixed it,
Needn't come, we've fixed itw
shouted the determined sheriff.
ANY number of figures YOU
may wish to multiply by 5 will
give the same result it divided by
"a much quicker operation but
you must remember to annex 40
to the answer when there is no re-
mainder, and when there is q re-
mainder, whatever it may be, an
mex a 5 to the answer. Multiply
494 by 5, and the answer will be
1920; divide the same by ., and
you will have 232, and, IA there is
no remainder, you add 40. Now
take $50, multiply by 5, the answer
is 1896; and dividing this by two,
there is 10 and a remainder; You
therefore place q 5 at the end Of
the line, and the result is again
1895.
-THE WRITER OF ST.. ELMO
A Mobile letter in the Inter. Ocean
says of the author of ''St. Elmo :"
''She is Mrs. Wilson, now, and
lives in a beautiful chateau in the
suburbs. Her husband is banker
Of wealth and influence, and she is
n plain unassuming lady, about IS
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