The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-11-19
BILL AND THE WIDOW.

BILL AND THE WIDOW.
BY J. A. SMITH, ALIAS CAPT ror5ERRv
Wife, said Ed. Wilbur one morn
ing as he sat stirring his coffee with ono
hand and holding plum cake on his
knee with the other, and looked acroes
the table into the bright ewes of his
neat little wife, wouldn't it be a good
Joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take
Widow Watson TO Barnum's show next
week?" >O
"You can't do it, Ed; he won't osl,
her; he's so awful shy. Whv- he caToe
here the other morning when T Ioo
hanging ont some clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke; but when I
shook out a night-gown he blushed like
girl and went away"
think can manage it." said Ed
" but III have to lie Just little. But
then lt wouldn't be much harm under
the circumstances, for know she likes
him, and know he don't dislike her
but as you say, he's so shy. I'll lust 90
over TO his place to borrow some BAGS of
him, and if / don't bag him before I
come back, don't kiss me for a week.
Nelly" -'
So saying, Ed. started, aud while h,
Is moving the fields, we will take a look
et Blll Smiley. He was rather a good
looking fellow, though his hair and
whisllers showed some gray hairs. and
he had got ret of artificial teeth. But
everyone said he was a good soul. and
so he was. He had as good hundred
acre farm as any in Norwich, with a new
house and everything comfortable, and
II ne had wanted a vile, many a girl
would have jumped at the chance like
rooster at a grasshopper. But Bill
was 80 bashful-alwRys was-and when
Susan Berry ybottle, that he was sweet on
(though he never said ''boo" to herr got
married o old Watson, he Just drawed
IN his head like a mud-turtle into his
shell, and there was no getting him out
again, though it had been noticed that
since Susan had become a widow he had
paid more attention to his clothes, and
had been very regular in his attendance
tended.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur"
Good morning, Mr.. Smiley =
Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur. What's
the news your way?"
Oh nothing particular, that I know
of, said Ed, "only Barnum's show
that everybody is talking about, and
everybody and his girl is going, too.
was over to Sackrider's last night. and
see his son Gus has got a new buggy
and was scrubbing up his harness, and
he's got that white-faced colt of his as
slick as a seal. I understand he thinks
of taking Widow Watson to the show.
He's been hanging around there good
deal # late, but I'd just like to cut him
ont, would. Susan is a nice little wo-
mau, and deserves a better man than
that Young pup of a fellow, though 1
yvOnl1p't hlapan har rnnph aJtbar If ahn
takes him, for she must be dreadful
lonesome, and then she has to let her
farm out on shares, and it isn't half
worked, and no one else seems to have
spunk enough to speak up to her. By
jingol If l was a single man I'd show
him trick or two"
So saying. Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and put his ear to knot-hole and lis
tened, knowing that the bachelor had a
habit of talking to himself when any
thing worried him.
"Confound that young BagTider y
said Bill, what business has he there,
I'd like to know. Got a new buggy, has
he? Well, so have 1, and new harness,
too and his horse can't come in sight
of mine, and declare I've half a mind
to-yes, will ! I'll go this very night
and ask her to go to the show with me.
I'll show Ed. Wilbur that I amt such
calf as he thinks I am. II did let old
Watson get the start Of me in the first
placer
Ed. could scarcely help laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags
on his shoulder, and with low chuckle
mt his success, started home to tell the
news to Nelly; and about five o'clock
I, Nv
his horse and buggy on his way to the
widows. he logged along quietly,
thinking of the old singing school days
and what a pretty girl Susan was
then-and wondering inwardly If he
would have more courage now to talk
MP to her, until at the distance of about |
q mile from her house he came to a
bridge-over a large creek-and it so
happened that just as he reached the
middle of the bridge he gave a tre-
mendous sneeze, and blew his teeth
clear out of his mouth, and clear over
tho dash board, and striking on the
planls they rolled over the bridge and
dropped into four feet of water.
Words cannot do justice TO poor Bill,
or paint the expression of his face as he
sat there-completely dumbfounded at
this startling piece of i'll lu'k. After
while he stepped out of the buggy, and
getting on his hands and knees looked
over the water.
Yes. there they WERE" at the bot
tom. with n crowd of little fishes rub
bing their noses against them, and Bill
wished to goodness that his nose was as
close for one second. His beautiful
teeth that bad cost him so much, and
the show coming on and no time TO get
another set-and the widow and young
i L ak try
them somehow and no time to lose,
for some one might come along and ask
him what he was fooling around there
for. He had no notion of spelling his
good clothes by wading in with them
on, and besides, if he did that ne
could not 60 to the widows that night,
30 hetook a look mp and down the roan
20 see that no one was in sight, ana tneh
quickly undressed himself, laying MS
clothes in the buggy to keep them clean;
Then he ran around the bank and waded
into the almost icy water, but his teeth
did not chatter in his head, he only
wished they could. Quietly he wadeo
along so as not TO stir up the mud ana
when he got to the right spot he drop
ped under the water and came mp with
the teeth in his hand and replaced them
IN his mouth. But hark What noise
- tuab : y MdBoH anu -
barking with all his might, and MS
horse is starting. "Whoa Whoa
said Bill, as he splashed and houndere9
ont through mud and water, "confouno
the horse. Whoa Whoa Stop, yo91
brute you, stop !" But stop he woulu
not, but went off at a spanking pace
with the unfortunate bachelor atter IN
and the little dog yelping after ih9
bachelor. Bill was certainly in capital
running costume, but though he strained
every nerve he could not touch the
buggy or reach the lines that were drag
Qiug on the round. After while has
plug hat shook off the seat and the hlnd
wheel went over it, making it as Hat as
pancake. Bill snatched it as no ram
and after jamming his fist into 1t stuck