Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1874-11-07
Mark Twain's Cold.


.be following letter, giving bis reasons:
HARDFoaD CT, October 8, 1874.
lEss X. ". Whhe: Dear Madam-l re-
gret exceedingly being unable to accept your
kind invitation tslso Mr.. P. Dnfly'sl to he
present at your commencement exercises. but
the annoying and vezatious Illness which
still hangs about me, together With some hnSi-
ness engagements, win pretcnt The Illness
10 which refer is severe cold which took
in New York. last winter, during the lecture
season. Perhaps the recital of how tried to
cure this cold. may be Of Interest, aud may
serve instead Of the few remarks you so po-
litely asked me 10 make 90 the friends aud
pupils. The first time began to sneeze,
friend told me To a. and battle my feet 10 hot
water and 90 10 Ire 7. did So Shortly after
another friend told me TO get up and take
cold shower bath. did that also. Within
the honr. another friend assured me that II
was policy t. feed cold and starve fever.
| had both. 81 thought it best to fll myself
ND for the cold, and lc, the fever slarye
awhile. In a ca Of this kiud | seldom do
things by halves ate pretty heartily. !
conferred my custom upon stranger, who
had jus, opened his restaurant On C'rtindt
street. near the hotel that morning. paying 50
much for full meal he waited near me tn
respectable silence until had finished ferdius
NY cold. when he inquired il the people about
New York were much afflicted with Gods
told him thought they were. lie then
went out and took IN his sign. started up
toward the otfi;e, aud IN the way encountered
another bosom friend, who told me that
anart of warm salt water would come as uear
curing a.cold rs anything in the world. ]
harily thought had rom for it. but tried
iranyhow. The result was surprising. be-
leve threw up my Immortal spul. Now, as
give my experience oaly Tor tie benefit OF
those Of your friends who are troubled with
this dstemper, feel that they will sec the
proprety of my cantioning them against fol-
lowing such portions Of it as proved iueili ,ieut
with me. and acting upon this conviction ]
warn item against warm salt water. IL may
be good enough remedy. bat think it Is
rather too severe If had another cold IN
the head, aud there was no course left me but
- take an earthquake or quart Of warm s:lt
water. would take my chances on the earth
quake After this everybody "a the hotel be-
came interested. aud took all sorts Of rene
des--hot lemonade, cold lemonade, pepper
tea. boue>et, s,ewed Quaker, hoarhouud syrup,
,ninns and loaf sngtr. vinegar, aud laudanun ,
five bottles fir balsim, eight BOTTLES cherry
pectora. and tea bittIcs uf Uncle Sans rene
dy. but all without effect. One Of tie pre-
scriptious given by su old lady. was-well, 1t
was dreadful. Sire mixed decoction com
posed of molasseS, catnup, peppermint, aqua
lortis, turpentine, kerosene, and various other
drugs. and instructed me 10 take a wine glass
| of it every fifteen minutes. never took but
one duse that WAS enough, had 10 take 10
my bel. aud rem ul thee fir two entire days.
| When felt little better more things were
recommended. was desperate, and unwil-
ling to take anything. rlain Gin was recon-
meuded, then gin and molasses, then gin and
onions. took all three. detected no par
iicplar result, however, except that ! had ac-
quired breath like turkey buzzard. and
nai to change my boarding place. Al this
new place they suggested a different remedy
t. any yet tried. 4 sheet bath was recon-
nen,led. had never refused remedy yet.
aud 1t seemed p,or policy to commence then /;
therefore determined o. take sheet bath
though had no idea what sort Of arrange
meut it WAS. II WAS administered st mid
night. aud the weather was very frosty. Ny
back aud breast were stripped, aud sheet
uhrre appeared tn be- Thousand yards Of ~
soaked ~ ice water was wound around me
until resembled swab fr columliia1 II
j. cruel expedient When the chilly rag
touches ones warm frsh It makes him stari
with violence and gasp f'r breath, just as men
do 10 the death agony II froz- the marrow
in my bones aud stopped the beating of my
heart thought my time bad come. When
recovered from this a friend recommended
the -pplicaiipn Il mustard plaster 70 my
breast Relieve that would have cured me
eiirctually II i; nai not been fYr yorns c rm-
ems Wien went - bed pot the mustard
plasier where could reach II when should be-
reaiy fr it. but youug Clemens ~ hungry
Ia the night and ate It mp. never saw any
child have such an appetite am cmfisut
that he would have eaten uie II | bad been
heaiihy. After all this xperieuce yon cannot
woudrr that dread going 20 New York. and
feel obliged to decline your kind invitation
Wishing you successful aud pleasant tiue,
| remain, very respectfully,
s. l. CLEMENS, Mark Twain
TGUE-An experienced editor pays high
aud deserved compliment 20 the fair patrons
Of the Press. Women," be says, " are the