Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1874-01-17
A Race Up a Flagstaff.
TALL SPORT IN SAN FRANCISCO

IA LII sPORT IN SAN FRANCISCO.
sanguine and confident inventor presented
himself few days ago at the office OF the
Western Union Telegraph company, in San
Francisco, and exhibited pair of instruments,
which he claimed TO be perfection itself when
applied to telegraph poles. These clamps were
TO entirely supersede the Old-fashioned, hook
shaped affairs which line-repairers were wont
10 use in ascending the poles; they were SO intel
ligent that they would almost climb of them
selves, and man ornamented with a pair
might climb straight to the moon If pole long
enough to be procured. There happened to be
incredulous individuals connected with the Of
ice, and these offered to back d.. Valentine
against the stranger. The challege was accept
ed, and the Plaza fixed as the place where the
contest should come of,
DR.. Valentine has long been connected with
the company is spryer than cat, can deter
mine the SPECIFIC gravity OF nitric acid by tast-
ing 1t, and occasionally, for amusement, turns
himself into Grove battery-simply swallow
Ing pint of acid while in a trip bath, and in
sorting platinum wire down his throat. The
doctor has Travelled to the top of every telegraph
pole in the state, and occasionally recruits his
health by trip on foot to Healdsburg of Giroy,
bis only baggage consisting of his iron climbern,
buckled 10 MS legs, and small piece OF black
pomade in his vest pocket.
The contestants met at the Plaza and took
their positions at the foot of the flagstaff: the
foreigner was confident and the doctor supercil-
ious. The word " as given and up the climbers
they dashed, jabbing their iron heels into the
wood, and rushing hand-Over- hand up the mast.
The stranger did pretty well; but emulation
lent additional speed to the DOCTORS heels; he
fairly flew spward, like some aspiring spirit in
eye glasses. After climbing twenty-five feet,
the stranger stopped and looked upward. Away
mp by the cross trees his Inundated eyes dis
covered two boots, Haunting coat tail, and
two brown patches on a pair of black pants-
looms.
1t was the doctor, and there awayup on a
level with the chlmney-p pot, he delivered one OF
his celebrated comic lectures.
The stranger came down, and so, at length,
did, Valentine. The stranger explained that his
failure was attributable to the fact that his
climbers had been effected by the climate
That's me-" said the doctor; 'f'm the Climb
it."
"But, yet, my instruments are superior" re-
piled the stranger, "with them / can come
down pole eighteen feet high in four motions
"See here, ny venerable duffer," said Valen-
tine, 1--WE climbed more poles than you've told
lies, and that's saying heap. began before
this heavy mustache of mine commenced vege-
tating; and tell you that these climbers won't
wash If you don't take care, some day you
will come down pole in one ection instead of
four, and the patent will die with you. Come
let's 60 and get little sulphurlc aud sugar; I'm
dry"
The stranger thinks he can adapt his inyep-
ton TO climbing down wells, but he has about
given up the telegraph pole branch of the pro-
fession.