The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-02-27
The Steam JackaSs.
a TRIUMPH OF INGENUITY-THE LOUD
EST NOISE EVER HEARD.

A man living near Nashville, Wash
lngtOn county, Ill.,, has recently invented
an apparatus to take place Of whistle!
for railroad signals, steamboats,, fire
alarms, factory calls and the like. HI
calls it the Telegraph but the proper
namesls the I" Steam Jackass.'' The in.
Ventorisa stOck-farmer. and has devoted
much of his time to raising mules, whose
habits and anatomy he appears to have
studied very carefully. On his farm
| there was a mule OF more than ordinary
vocal power, whose voice could be heard
a distance of four miles in every direc-
| tlOn when he once got warmed up to his
work. The owner computed that il he
could set in motion all the air in circle
OF elghtmilesin diameter, OF twenty five
miles IN circumference, OF an area Of tif-
ty square miles, or $4,000 acres, a 100
horse power jackass could, all other
things being equal, rival any other noise
yet discovered. He established the fact
that the power Of an ordinary ASS is
about One-twelfth of an indicated steam
power. A steam engine of 1000 horse
power would therefore be equal to the
pOwerOf $4,000 asses. Wherefore. if one
ass can till circle eight miles in diam
eter, 10000 jaCkasses or one 1000 horse
power .iackass would fill circle of 95,-
600 miles in diameter. The inventor
thought all this over carefully, arriving
at the deduction that il he could take
natures vocal apparatus and apply it to
4 greater power. he could produce a
larger and more satisfactory volume of
sound. Filled with this idea, he put the
mule to death, and carefully severed the
head from the body. He then injected
solutions of chloride of zinc and arsenic
into the veins and arteries OF the head
and neck TO prevent decay of the flesh.
India rubber was dissolved in sulphuric
ether, and the solution forced through
the trachea or wind-pipe and through
the la1ynx, or throat. The ether evap-
Grated, leaving a film of rubber on the
mem branes, and the injection and evap-
grafton were continued until the rubber
film was found OF sufficient thickness.
These organs were then subjected to a
1vapor OF sulphur, heated to 800 degrees,
by which process the rubber was vulcan
ICED, its elasticity increased, and the
membranes rendered impervious to
steam. These preparations completed,
short piece ofrubber hose was attached
to the windpipe and connected with q
steam boiler.
1t was a moment of agony to the in
ventor, rs he placed the ass-head in the
hands of an assistant and slowly pulled
the valve open; moment Of thrilling
interest. AS the steam was turned on,
it passed into the wind-pipe, expelling
the air and producing u sigh, followed
by q, grOan, snort, Il chuckle, then
violent coughing and sneezing. As
full head of steam was turned on, the
most fearful noise, the most frightful
gutfaW, the most vociferous bray that
ever assailed mortal ears, was produced.
The lips contracted, disclosing terrible
array of teeth; the jaws raised and fell,
as the steam crowded the passages. and
the ears participated in the general
movement, giving to the head of the ass
an animated and excited appearance.
The man who was holding the head gazed
at 1t moment, with dilated eyes, color
less checks, knocking knees and pro-
trudlng tongue; then, suddenly loOsing
all interest in the performance, he emf
grated. AS for the inventor, his success
exceeded his most sanguine anticipa-
tlons. For an instant he. contemplated
the head, his cOnnteuance working with
every manifestation of intense delight |
then he too started, probably to learn
the greatest distance to which that voice
would penetrate, leaving it still in oper- |
alton, with all steam on. The head had |
now got fully warmed up to it's work, |
and that bray went huftling through the |
universe. 1t was an acoustic earth |
quake; 1t was a Storm hurricane Of |
sound, a tornado, a cyclone of noise; it |
was donkey carnival, q ,jackass Fourth |
1f July. 1T was the greatest success the |
world has ever known. .-s......