Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-05-21
Varieties.

SA1RKlN6 lOOkcO NJ u paslntlnS OI ply
and pleasantly asked: "Who is that
pigment for?'
If there is one time moro than anoth-
er when u woman should be left alone,
it is when full limo of clothes comes
down in tho mud.
The New Orleans Picayune wants
some of the female crusaders to visit
tho city and try and remove some of
tho bars from tho mouth of the Mis-
sissippi.
THOSE persons who walk in and try
to convince one that it isn't spring, and
point to tho thermometer md such tri-
tles, should be discouraged. Show them
the almanac.
A sUsCErTIBLE young man whose
health is good deal impaired in con-
sequence of Angelina's failure to rocip-
rocate his love, says that his is an ag-
gravated case of Angclina occtoris;.
A RURAL statistician reports that
moro people are talked to death by
peddlers of Tightening rods than are
killed by tightening. Quite likely.
A CARAVAN is m individual who wants
you to have your furniture all ready to
load at 7 A. NJ, and comes around in
the afternoon to see if you have done it.
A BERaA1n paper supplies a neat in
stance of confusion of metaphor.
Criticising the income tax, our cotem-
porary hopes the government will not
repeat the blunder of killing the calf
which daily produces the golden egg
A WESTERN orator warming with
his subject, exclaimed "There is not
man, woman or child in this house,
who has arrived at the age Of fifty years,
but has felt this truth laundering
through their minds for centuries.
ONCE while at negro meeting,
Thus heard the pastor preach
TO his col0red congregation
And all white folks within reach:
"Am dar any here, what's present,
Disbelievin' what I say3
Eberyting hab been sayin'
Am as clear a. light oh day.
Angels dar is-white and culla,'d,
Here he gave the book whack,)
For oh darkness dar's an angel,
An dat angel he am black"
MARK TWAIN is charged with an end
less series of heresies, the latest accu-
sation being that he was rebel soldier
and served two weeks with JEFF Thomp-
son in the army in Missouri. That he
never made much of a military record
is explained in letter which he is said
to have just written to Thompson. He
says, eve never won any victories to
speak of. We never could get the en-
emy to stay still when we wanted to
fight, and we were generally on tie
move when the enemy wanted to fight.
MANY of the Western men who went
to the gold mines of French Guina are
returning. The fields are 100 miles in
land and it takes $50 miles of paddle
boat travel and five or six days journey
through tangled underground to reach
them then the gold, which is found in
of black mud, whence rises an efiuvia
which no white man can endure, and
the water is so poisonous that the na-
tives drink nothing but curasoa.
Ar the present time the postal rates
between France and this country are 80
high that it is cheaper for letters be-
tween the countries to be first sent to
England and then retransmitted to their
destination, either France or the United
States, than for letters to be carried d.
rect by the French mails. And there
is an agency in London which makes
money by undertaking this business of
retransmitting letters between the two
countries.
The plan announced by Mr.. Arthur
Cheney in connection with the rebuild
ing of the new Globe Theatre, in Bos-
ton, is somewhat of an original nature.
He proposes to obtain subscriptions by
selling the seats outright for the entire
eighteen years lease for 81, 600 each.
The original outlay of 81, 900 is the on
~ outlay that the subscriber incurs,
and the subscriber is at liberty to dis
pose of them at his pleasure, at any
time. The subscriptions thus far are
said to have been very encouraging.
The valuable living of Aldingham, in
the county of Lancaster, in the gift of
the Crown has been conferred on DR..
Hayman. The letter from Mr.. DisraeG,
communicating the offer stated that
Mr.. Disraeli, in making it, wishes to
give no opinion on the distressing con-
troversy which has recently resulted in
the removal of DR.. Hayman from the
head mastership of the Rugby school.
All that he desires to express is his
sympathy with distinguished scholar
who has had to contend with circum-
stances of trying difficulty, which have
exhausted his worldly means, and who
now, with the anxions responsibility of
large family, has been deprived Of a
high Office and an honored home.-Lo,s-
don News.
"WHnE journeying by rail-" says a
traveller, II witnessed the following in
cident: One night, just after I had
scrambled into my sleeping berth, I
heard loud and angry voices proceeding
from the rear end of the car. L tell
you this is a sleeping car, and you can't
come in here without ticket Be
CORA, I had a ticket We'll where
is it?' 'Begorra I've lost it. If
you really had the misfortune to lose
your ticket, perhaps you can remember
your berth !? There was an interval of
silence, Paddy evidently employing his
thinking powers. Och, be jabers 7
he at length exclaimed, III was born on
the Goth day of October, 1922"
THERE is bush story of negro who,
for bottle Of rum, agreed to strip to
|
ten for a quarter of an hour by mosque
tos, at the Joggins of New Brunswick.
He endured his pests manfully, and had
nearly won his prize, when one of the
lumbermen who stood near by laid on
him piece of live charcoal, when the
negro wiggled and twisted about fright
fully; at last, unable to hold out any
longer, he jumped up, calling out,
"Wooh! not bargain for dat dat is a
dragon fly! Lumbermen play sad
tricks on the negroes sometimes. At a
tea-drinking lumberman slipped a
plug of tobacco into the kettle, when an
old negress who presided called out,
emo water F.! mo- water too 'trong for
misus stomach"
The Order Of the Temple.
The Order of the Temple was started
at Jerusalem in 1118, by nine French
gentlemen, who united themselves in n
society, under the name of the
n A.