The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-04-03
SeIette0 StGrp.
JEPH. BENEDICK'S GRAND.
MOTHER.

1 think the most enjoyable humol
in print is that in which the author
stimulates a grave inconsistencies
that he is being funny. The most
diverting lectures and speeches,also
are those delivered with unutterable
solemnity. But here this thing
should stop. If there is such a
thing as absolutely bad taste, it is
bad taste to import this dramatic
gravity into familiar conversation.
It matters nothing how natural it
may be, or may become, to say q
grotesquely good thing without a
or relate q preposterous story
as if it were a simple and common
place truth; to do SO habitlally, in
conversation, is disrespectful to your
and otherwise annoying.
Fof~it necessitates q constant watch
fulness upon his part not to fall into
some subtle snare, and keeps hir1
painfully attentive to the points
that are made, lest he should not
laugh in the right place; and so be
set down as an obtuse blockhead.
The proper thing to do in these
cases, if you have thrashed the mus
eles of your face into subjection, is
to receive your funeral joker lugu-
brious sallies with simple compo-
sure, precisely similar to his own.
When a man acts as if he did not
suspect his own faeetiousness you
may fairly profess an equal uncon-
He will probably set
you down as an irreclaimable dolt;
but there are a good many irreclaim-
able dolts who are eminently worthy
people and good citizens. l have
known several who always made out
their income returns with q scrupu-
lous regard to appearances, and
strict yraisemblance in
their prayer.
Jeph. Benedick is prone to the So
cial vice I have mentioned. Having,
in his childhood, incurred a sound
licking for laughing in church, he
has never repeated the ofense there
or elsewhere. His face is like that
Of a marble apostle, carven in the
sixteenth century; not the faintest
flicker of mirth ever disturbs for a
moment the severity of its grimness.
You might knock his head off with a
handspike, und he would not smile.
One day in a restaurant at Omaha 1
him to q sharp-witted
friend Of mine, named-for what
purpose l really do not know-Bartle
81 am very glad to see you, Mr..
Jeph, in in a low, earnest tone, as
they sat down together at a small
table; ''for 1 am in trouble. When
[ am depressed by the relentless de-
crees of iron-handed adversely l like
to talk to somebody, three or four
hours, about my good old grand
mother-somebody who has not the
advantage of a grandmother"
at affords me much pleasure, Mr..
to place nv leisure at your
remarked Philpotts with
1ignifed cordiality, consulting his
watch.
Jeph painted the lily of his grim
ness and continued.
q have always found my poor
dead grandmother subject adapted
TO the intellectual needs of most
strangers; and one man to whom I
myself and this exhilel
ating topic, was so well pleased with
it that when we shook hands at part
ing he expressed hope that we
should always remain strangers, so
that he might have the benefit of it
as often as we should meet Now do
-confdentially and frankly as
between friends-do you suspect he
could have meant anything?"-and
Jeph paused for a reply, leaning for
ward and fixing his eyes upon those
Of his auditor with look of anxious
at is difficult to say" was the re-
ply, after some study; "a great deal
depends upon the character of the
man.. A good many men mean things
when they say them"
You don't know how much / am
indebted to you," exclaimed Jeph,
with a long sigh of relief; "you have
solved the one distressing problem
of my existence! 1 feel that it
would not be too great a display of
gratitude to drink at your expense"
'eWaiter" cried Philpotts, turning
goberly in his seat, and beckoning to
the garcon-but he was restrained
by Jeph's hand upon his arm.
aI hope you won't think me undu-