Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-05-21
UNCLE JOB Or UNCLE ARISTIDES


I know, accept, and is sure to remember
the child" Thus spake Mrs. Highly to
her husband, as over the tea-table they
concerted arrangements for the christen-
ing Of their first born.
Mr.. Highly apparently paid little heed
to his wife's remark, and was about to ask
her to again pass him the toast when,
glancing upward toward the lady's face,
he perceived indications of a coming
storm. He could tell from certain out
ward and visible signs that his Matilda
Jane meditated sudden swoop, so, nerv-
ing himself for the encounter, he respond
ed, in a mild tone: eve ought not, dear,
to forget Uncle job"
The tempest broke. Mr.. Highly had
been expecting it, but not so soon. The
lightning was flashing IN his wife's eyes
and the thunder of her maj estic voice was
rafting about his ears in a couple of sec
onds after he had spoken. The reference
to Uncle Job did it.
"Uncle Job, indeed!" exclaimed the
irate Matilda Jane, every fiber of her body
seeming to culver with passion. "WhO
next would you like to stand to your
child?"
When Mrs Highly tossed her head, and
thus indicated supreme contempt for her
husbands selection of sponsor, his re-
ply was as follows: With Uncle Job, my
dear, we have the required number, and
we need not further pursue the subject
unless, having in your mind s eye-Shak-
speare, dear-the likelihood of other
christenings to come, you are preparing a
list of eligible persons to keep by you"
Poor Mr.. Highly made this remark in
his softest manner, and the little shipper
with which he concluded would have
made it apparent to any one that he was
only giving utterance to timid joke
Stately Mrs Highly, however, did not
choose to accept it as such, but, turning
savagely upon her husband, poured out
some scathing remarks. Pausing to see
what would be the effect upon Harry, and
observing that he was uncOncernedly sip
ping his tea, she bounced from the room,
n0isily banging the door after her.
While the good lady of the house has
gone to vent her spite upon the domestic
below stairs the opportunity may be
taken of introducing Mr.. and Mrs. High
fly in more satisfactory manner.
From his youth upward Harry Highly
had been clerk in Cashit s. Bullion's
bank in Threadneedle street, and from
being one of the juniors had risen to a
confidential and important position. He
owed none of his advancement to infuen-
tial relatives, since his parents had been
humble country folk, who died soon after
their son came to the metropolis. He
was an only child and knew no blood re-
latiOns but an uncle on his mothers side
Uncle Job Smith, however, was a sort of
nobody-that is to say, he had tried a
good many things, and always failed; he
was bachelor, but liked company !;
Uncle Job was, in fact, choice spirit -
his friends always welcomed him when
they wanted a bright, jovial, mirth-creat-
ing fellow among them; but the same
good people invariably "cut" poor Job
when they met him next day in a crowd
ed thoroughfare. 1t was all very well to
know him in private, but in public it was
an entirely different matter. Job was a
good-hearted, generous soul, ready to lend
his last shilling to any one who asked
him; an act, however, seldom within his
power, inaSmuch as he was more often
compelled to borrow than able to lend
OF course, people with any reputation
wouldn't publicly recognize Job Smith,
for he had three times figured in the
Gdzette-three times in fifteen years. Is
not that shocking? The first occasion
was when he was in partnership with
Steppit the grocer, in Bristol. 4 noble
establishment they had, too. The
shop was blocked with tea chests, but,
unfortunately, the chests were empty.
The partnership existed for six months,
and then Steppit ran away, leaving Job
to settle all claims. A good many peO-
pie averred Job had been swindIed, but
he himself did not say much about it. By
the way, you would not have expected
Job would, for he was never known to
utter an unkind or ill-natured word to
anyone. Harry, however, stuck to his
uncle amid this and his other reverses, for
the remembrance of his former kindnesses
lived in his memory. When Harry was
in his thirtieth year, and had obtained a
good position in the banking establish
ment, he looked about him for a WIFE
He is very small of stature, and, follow
ing the example OF most little men, fell in
love with lady who was above the aver
age height of her sex Matilda Jane
Brownjohn, like her sutton, had but few
relatives llvlng-a mother and an uncle
This was at the outset a wonderful recon-
mendatlon, but it was not the only one
NJ j. Brownlohn had moneY-e1 500 in
round numbers, left her by deceased CON
nections, in addition to some $500 more
saved by careful economy during the
twenty-eight years of her existence She
was not exactly good Hooking when Harry
married her, and has not improved since ;
but many people | know have rather a
preference for sharp features, a lurid
tlnge IN the hair, long neck, and a bony
inquire. Harry, Tor example, considered
her very line woman-a splendid Great.
ure-and he backed his opinion bv max
ing her Mrs. Highly The lady had
borne this honorable title some fifteen
months when an heir came to share the
damily prosperity. Harry, it need scarcely
be said, was immensely proud of his off
spring, who was reported by everyone to
be exactly like his father. Had the opin-
ion been Ctce eerSa, perhaps Harry would
not have been quite so jubilanf, for he
had discovered (come closer, dear reader.
that | may whisper this) that he had mar.
.ried deuce of a temper" as well as a
magnificent woman. Happily, the little
man was not easily reused; and when
she had tired, his good humor remained
undisturbed, and the wonted merry twin
kle of his eye was not In the slightest de-
gree dimmed. When the infant was a
couple of months old the subject of the
christening arose, and many a battle.
royal was fought over the choice OF
sponsors. When he had married, Harry
had taken a small semi-detached villa
Just outside Ealing, and their next neigh
oors being the FooZles an intimacy soon
arose. Mrs. Foozle having been sum
moned to the bedside of Matilda ane
ana having with Mr.. f. expressed de