Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-07-03
Real and lGeal Wives.

Real and lGeal Wives.
Owing to Il wise prodigality OF
good in nature, or wisely imposed
delusion in men (says Il writer in an
English magazinc), ideal wives arc
much more common than ideal hus.
bands. They are not found in every
house, nor indeed i'll every street; but
there are few of them in country
and town, and we all know some OF
them. They are not our wives; but,
unfortunately, the wives of others.
Our wives may have extended cata.
logucs of charms and virtues; but
ideal honors do not sit upon them.
Men are more enthusiastic and given
to dreaming than women, and hence
the excess Of female over male perfec-
ton. If the power of ide:,lizing were
equal in both sexes, the chances are
they would hate one another. AS it
is, women are not in the least ashanl.
ed of being called angels and enchan-
trcsscs. If men will go astray in this
way, it is no business of women to
set them right. They arc little given
to cxtrslvagant estimates themselves,
but they are hungry for hyperbolical
praisc. They sit demurcly and smile
the last shred of a mars reason away
while he assures them that they com
bine all the charms of Pagan goddess
es and all the virtues of Christian
saints. If men, with their warm and
capricious imaginations, choose to
place them on thrones while the real
sovcreigns are out for Il stroll, they
don't care. They do the honors as
though they were ut least hcirs-appar-
ent; and they suffer no more qualns
of conscience than if they had but
just established their claim to priv.
iiegc from which they had long been
unfairly alicnated.
| Ideal wives are of low stature and
extremely fair. They are soft and
gentle in manner and slow of motion.
They have blue. eyes, golden hair,
rich mczzo-soprano voices, and mod
crate dress-improvers. Their hair
and its color are their own; and they
fear strong men, but like to look at
them from windows, carriages, balco-
nies, and other places of security.
They are Il triae unhappy, and have
not been married to their first love.
They cannot sew over well, but they
have Il positively mad,lcning way OF
leaning over the backs Of chairs
while they are asking their husbands
if they shall wear blue or pink rib.
bons. They have no mothers living
They care little for going into socie-
ty. They never desire to obtain the
good wishes Of other men, save when
their husbands interest is to that et:
feet. They arc not painfully clever
musicians, but they know some sweet,
simple airs, and sing those at even
ing by the open window. They arc
liable tobc dcfiauded by the servants,
and are imposed upon by trades-peo-
! pie. They regard their husbands as
supreme arbiterS in all matters. They
would stay as they are or fly to New
Zealand with him, as he desired.
Between the ideal and the real
there is class which may be called
polyglotically the mczzo-ideal. We
see them much oftener than the ideal
but unfortunately not SO often rs the
real. They are tall and slender, and
somewhat yellow. They have mild,
gray eyes, and noses ''tip-tilted, like
a flower" They have Sensitive, SYM
pathetic mouths, and simple hearts.
They are not utterly amiable, but arc
easily wooed to peace. Their knowl-
edge of household affairs is accurate
but not obtrusive. 1t is never visible
exceptin exigcncics and under excite
ment. They are ready to go out
when it is desirable, and they are
ready to remain at home. They do
not abuse the servants in the parlor,
or despise all other women. They
have placid affection for tinery, but
are not passionately extravaganza
They accept presents from their hus'
bands rs wheR they were lovers.-
They answer in ill things that they
are subject to their lords, but they re
bel somctimes-just enough to make
the subjugation Il matter of interest,
and the reconciliation delicious rep.
etition of old love scenes.
Real wives are the most easily
found of all. They are ninety-nine
out of every hundred married women.
They are such rs your wife, dear sir,
though you would not care to tell
her SO, for You have previously quo
ted her to yourself rs one in thous.
aud. They are short of temper, and
have morning quarrcls with servants
about eggs, or tablc-lincn. or the cas-.
ter of the arm chair. They are die.
tionarics Of chit-chat, and press it i'll
your ears while your eyes are trying
to find consolation in newspaper.
They arc continually predicting your
ruin if you don't abandon your dea;.
est friend. They wonder aloud at
their enduring your being ten min
utcs late for dinner. # you go out,
only for half IN hour in the evening
to the club or to see some bachelor
friend-thev ask you what kept you
out the whole evening, and whether
you knew they wished to talk to you
about the kitchen range. They won
der where you order your coal, and II
you know you get only half the prop
or weight. II you fall asleep ut the
fire, YOU wake to find them in tears
over your neglect; and if yon Try te
read, they revile you for your rude
tness and want of consideration. They
do not know how money goes, arc
they wonder you are content, to liv.
in SO mean a house. II it is summer
they hate Bray, aud won't 60 thcr,
for Il few months, because all thci
friends are ut Harrowgatc or Brigh
ton or Bunloan or Tramorc. If it il
winter you might he able to affort
more than three parties in the season
or if not You should 90 to TIL