The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-02-27
Josh Billings ON "Dispepshe., ,,

Dear Barker-I have bin a praktika1
dlspeptik for ~ years and four .months
and it ,wud hev bien mummy in mi poket
II he'd been born without emmy STUN
muck. -.. 5s.......l3s -: .-- . -
L hev prayed upwards of one thousand
tunes to bee on the inside like an osstrig,
or a travlln cOlporter. -....asltE i. =
j hev seen travlin cOlporters who eud
eat az muteh az COOS. .s4 s.~5sssss.ss..
heV sean q go0s eat til they couldn't
stand UP eny more, and then set down
and eat sum, and then law down and eat At
| sum, and then roOl over and eat sum
| more. . sis g@ 81 .zsF- fssE t~. sl.s1 So
| L hay tried hvin on filtered water, and
gong bare foot for the dispepshy, and
| that didn't hit the spot. - - -"-''
heV soked at water kure establish
mlnts until wus SO timber that kudn't
git mise1f back agin inside w mi Bald
win appalTiell. 1s r+fu - > .lt.,.''-' .
bot q asaddle-hoss wunst, who was cot
up expressly to knre the dispepshy-he
waz warranted to kure the diseaze in 90
daze or kill the pashunt. sIa- ~ -
lie WIZ warranted to trot harder than
a trip hammer, pull wusser ON the bits,
stumble safOr dOun hill than emmy luther
boss on the futtstule. es.- IN
road the hosS til wuz all ov q, ielly.
ana then sold him bride and all for sixty
eight dollars, and got sued by the pur-
chaser, and he'd tn pay hlm 80 dollars
ana sum senee dammeg, bekOz the hoss
he'd the " Nimshys,' dizeaze KIM moth
ing ov. aa5 ,t=z So ss~ -
The boss and fixins cost me 450 dollars
gold. .a..-.a.. sa.f,.c.1 - 80
kontrakted for IL kords of hickory
wood, krOss grained, and as phul of rink
les az an old cows horn, and sawed away
3 munths on it, and the pile seemed to
gro bigger every day,
| finally gave away the saw and what
wood there WaZ left, to save mi life, and
sat down discouraged, square victim to
the everlasting dispepshee. l
/ hev lived at the sea side and eanbold
in the saline flood, until wuz as well
picked az a number salt maekerl.
| hav dwelt at Saratoga and taken the
water like mill race, and still he'd the
dispepshy. #4
] hev wawked 2 miles b4 breckfust and
then ett slice Oy dri toste, and haff the
yelk ov pulit's eg, and felt al the TYNE
az week as a kitten that he'd list cum
out Nv a fit.
hev laid down more than Q thousand
tunes. and rolled over wunce a mint all
mite long, and got up In the morning like
~ P'Nt SEA'NA oAAtkk AAANAA SEElIl
to all me emmy WHARF in particular.
hey red hole librayreys on the STUN
muk and liver, and when I got thru. i
knu CARTE deal less what wuz themat-
ter oy me than when begun.
hay drank Whiskee with ruts in ii
ennff to carry oph emmy brige or saw mill
dam in the country
hey worked on farm fer mi Wills
and board, and dleted on friGe pork and
ri bred until waz az thin az the s11rmin
oy Z days baptist preeeliur.
hay dun all tlles things and 10 thous-
and uther things just az ridikilus, and j |
hey got the old dispepshye yit jist az
4 year old goose.
II yu gita good holt or the dyspepshe |
once yu kant never luze it entirely; it |
will KUN around once in a while like a !
coast, and if it don't skare yu so much az |
It did onceand makeyu think yu are goin |
tu die tomorrow, twill make WI feaIiist |
az sorry. Yures, Josh Billings,