Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1874-09-11
NUMBER /.
CURRENT ITEMS.

die ages.
BREAD is the staff of life-the want of
1.-THE starve.
| THEY have found worm in Pennsyl-
vania that bores through the hardest
rock
OBSERVE with what tender reverence
an undertaken gazes upon a load of water
melons.
IT makes big difference when lady
faints away whether you bathe her tenn
pies with camphor or molasses.
IT is getting to be an interesting ques-
ton how near to no time at all horse is
going to be able to trot mile in
A DETROIT husband is in trouble for
whipping his wife because the baby did
not take q ffrst-class prize at baby
show.
THEY say that the Mississippi mos
quitoes take out mans bones and pick
them clean if he objects to ordinary
bites.-BOstOn Globe.
A SALT LAKE lady being asked what
ticket she was going to vote at the late
election replied that she intended to vote
for God and His people"
A GIRL of siXteeh> in Buffalo, has fallen
so intensely in love With her own broth
er, youth of twentythree years, that
her parents have sent her out of the
country to Germany.
A SCoTCH minister, when asked wheth-
er he was dying, answered: Really,
friend, | care not whether | amor not;
for if | die | shall be with God, and if |
live God will be with me-"
! A ROMEO (Mich marksman thinks that
he has made the most extraordinary shot
on record. He aimed to bring down a
woodchuck and chipmunk at one shot,
and brought down spring calf.
IT was darling Gweorge" when bri-
dial couple left Omaha; it was dear
George" at Chicago; at Detroit it was
George" and when they reached Nj
agara Falls it was Say, you"
A WOMAN never looks more Inundated
than when, while sitting on the deck OF
a steamboat, she becomes Simultaneous
ly conscious of cinder on her nose and
the absence Of her pocket-handkerchief.
VERMONT, after all, is the best State to
get drowned in. They don't attempt to
rescue you until doctor has gone down
in d1ving-bell and ascertained that
your vital spark has ted.-B200EGyn
Argus.
SHE can stand it pretty well once or
twice but when you spill saucer OF
raspberry jam into her lap the third
time things get uncomfortable, and she
works her countcnance as Ii she wasn't
born to be an angel.
A RECENT writer says that lady may
be known by the tones OF her voice. "A
coarse, unretined woman never has
smooth, pleasant utterance. The voice
can be cultivated so that harshness and
IL
is that most people are careless and SLOW
emily about speaking, and fall into bad
habits.
ONE of the rising generation in Yer
mont, rising four years old, went to a
blacksmith to see his fathers horse shod
and was watching closely the work OF
shoeng until the blacksmith began par
ing the horses hoofs, when, thinking this
was wrong, the little boy said earnestly:
"My pa don't want this horse made any
smaller"
THE following testimony to the virtues
of patent manure was received by It's
owner: Dear Sir-The land composing
my farm had hitherto been SO poor that
a Scotchman could not get living OIL
it, and so stony that we had to slice our
potatoes and plant them edgeWays; QuG
hearing of your manure | put some on a
ten-acre field, surrounded by rail fence,
and in the morning found that the rocks
had entirely disappeared, "a neat stone
wall encircled the field, and the rails were
split into firewood and piled up systemat-
ically in my back yard"
THE Ercezsi0r MdgdSSne a very choice
and entertaining monthly, is published
at $3.50 year. Every effort is being
made, by securing the services of the
most brilliant contributors to periodical
literature and the best art critics and
essayists, to furnish highly desirable
family paper. A handsomely illustrated
fashion and etiquette supplement accom-
panies it. Subscribers are very easily
obtained, and rare inducements in money
or prizes are offered to getters up of
clubs Sample copies twenty-five cents.
Office, Room 80, No. 157 La Sale street,
Chicago, Ill.
A COLoRED man named Charles Crook
died a horrible death at Riverhead on
Tuesday night last. He was man OF
prodigious size, and in consequence Of
great accumulation of fat he had for
some time been hardly able to get about.
For the two weeks preceding his death
he was in constant, terrible struggle for
breath, the airpassage being nearly
closed by the increasing fat, and he was
at last IircraIIy sunocated from TINS
cause For days and night he was COM
pelled to remain constantly on his hands
and knees, and this was the only position
in which he could breathe at all, and at
the end even this resort failed hlm. HIS
weight was 0pounds-Neao lor6 Wortd.
No DOUBT our young readers would
like to see the performance OF dog IN
this village Ia the family In which the
dog lived the old cat had four kittens
The dog became greatly attached to the
kittens and put in most of his time play
ing with them, and sometimes was little
rough. but not intentionally so. Inc Cat
and kittens were sent to nelghbors SO
as to get them away from the dog. In
short time doggy was missing; very soon
he returned with kitten in his mouth.
Then he went back for the others and
brought them all home. He was very
careful not to hurt the Kittens and would
roll them over and over SO as to get
good hold on them.--As1tdbuyG (Ohs0)
Sentinel.
YESTERDAY forenoon q man named
Carter and his wife appeared at the Fo-
lice Court. he having been given by her
to understand that she had applied for
warrant for him for refusing to support
his family. The Judge began to ques-
tion him, when the woman interrupted
him to say that her husband was lazy,
good -for-nothing loafer. "Tm lazy, am
II. he roared in reply. Didn't | earn
three shillings last Saturday? Didn't
bring home half peck of potatoes Mon
day? Didn't / get half pound OF but,
ter yesterday? Lazyl Great heavens!
Judge, can you go for to believe I'm
law? Answer me that" His Honor
said he would take the case into consla-