Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1874-08-15
sQUILLS SEES THE COMET.


merous to mention, Squills was late in
going home the other night. Perhaps
it was morning. On second thought,
it ~as morning. Squills had been sit
ting up with sick friend, as usual, and
the heat of the room or something hadn't
agreed with him. His friend wanted
him to stay all night, but Mrs. Squills
had an objection to his staying out all
night. Mrs. Squills was not a jealous
woman, but she had once been heard
to remark, darkly, that she would like
to catch Mr.. Squills staying out all
night. From that moment Squills had
relinsuished the idea. On this partic-
ular occasion Squills never felt so much
like staying out all night on door
step in all his life. The room had dis
agreed with him SO much. But he
struggled manfully with the effects of
the room, combined with the effort of
sitting-up with his sick friend, and he
reached home at last
Mrs. Squills was awake Once upon
q time Squills used to take off his
shoes and go up softly in his stockings,
but he had left off that base subterfuge
years ago. Mrs. Squills was always
awake. She was awake this night as
usual. Squills knew it, because she
didn't snore.
L" Is that you, Squills?"
That is the question she asks me
year in and year out" says Squills.
Looking at me with the eye of lynx
from under the mosquito bar, and know
ing enough of me to know my hide on
II bush, if she should ever see it on a
bush, she said mildly, is that you
Squills ?" s'I tell YOU" said Squills,
"that kind of thing is wearing, but l
responded cheerily:
"'Yes, my dear; O course me. >"
What time is it? Is it late?"
"Jus struck twel', Missiz Squills."
AT which she Immediately got out of
her nest, walked deliberately to the
mantel shelf, looked at the clock, and
then, turning round, said, in tones that
would have given chill to an iceberg:
"Mr. Squills, it wants just quarter
to three
1 said: "Let it want, m dear
"Where have you been, Mr.. Squills :?
Sitting up with sick friend ?"
l knew the "sick friend" was too
thin to hold water with that remark
able female, said Sluills, and so 1
said:
Codger's comic, m love-"
"The codger's what, Mr.. Squills? ?"
Codrer's comic. Meters mo- won'-
full n Judy. Fiery, untamed tail evers
long. Gran, s'blime, tooral magnifi-
cent. Nevasaw such thingamlife, civ
m'word nhonor."
81 felt that the influence of the sick
friend and the oppressive heat of that
last bottle of soda water was upon me, ;"
said Squills, "and also felt that Mrs.
Squills' eye was upon me; indeed, /
felt as if Mrs. Squills was all eyes, and
that they were all beaming on me at
one fell swoop, like policeman's bulls
eye"
=" Before I call the children, Squills,
to witness the beastly effect of Codgers
comet on their father said Mrs.
Squills, You had better get into that
bed"
"And then what do you think she
did p said Squills. But you'd never
guess. No, sir, no earthly man could
ever guess the depth of that woman s
knowledge of human nature. She
poured out glass of ice-water from the
ice-pitcher and then deliberately went
out on the porch and threw the balance
out into the yard. Then she sat down
by the window and sucked the water in
the glass through straw" 81 never
felt so thirsty in my life" said Squills,
and she knew it; and then to suck up
water through a straw. There was a
majestic malignity in the act that
couldn't possibly have originated with
anybody but a woman"
Il don't know how I went to Sleep"
said Squills, 4" but 1 did, and when l
woke up in the morning there was Mrs.
Squills at the bedside with a cup of
hot coffee"
"Take this, Squills, it's better than
ice-water for Codger's comet.
"What could l say" said Squills.
"Just nothing. l was completely at
her mercy, and that cup OF coffee IS go
ing to cost me new dress before l get
through with that internal comet, and
l know it.
PLANETARY FL1RTATIoNs.-On the 18th
of August, at three minutes past seven
in the evening, Jupiter and Venus will
approach within one degree of each
other-presenting rare and beautiful
spectacle. An annular eclipse of the
sun, visible in Asia, and partly in Africa
and northern Europe will occur on the
10th Of October. The magnificent
planet Venus will be nearest to our
earth on the night of November 10th.
One month thence, or on the 10th Of
December, will occur the great centen-
NAL transit of the beautiful planet
across the disc of the sun, by elaborate
observation of which the astronomers
of tho world hope to establish the exact
distance of our world from the sun.
IN tho VOornipr of tho 1it1 on1 1Hfh