The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-04-23
For the anderson A"te1Agencer'
-i8ii 7q,e Dootclman and l.
AYocA, April, 1874.


.t...N. ...., .l.i,. AvocA, April, 1874.
Nh E,srroa: /: Are you much on ifnmigra-
t;on9 10 this the pauacea for all our ills, past,
present and the ffature9 The contagion is evl-
dently spreading. and is now prevailing TO
some extent in onr settlement, and, not to be
behind cur our neghbors, we have got one-l mean
an is1tnigrans Where he halls from, what
country, potentate. principality or power, i
know not, He may be from the yellow Danube
the arrowy Rhone, or the blue Moselle, as ne
can't sneak a. word Of any language ever
heard before. His name is Voost, or Joost, CT
Woost. With su1ndriy grunts and GESTURES super
added So, to be. precise, we call him tne
Dootcbman.D OF course, the first thing was
for all hands, big and little, to commence anew
the study Of the languages, so as, among alb
we could possibly hit upon some words ana
phrases common to each. Such an oVerhaullng
Of old dlgrammars, dictionaries and tirss readers,
in French. German, Russian, &c. Such words!
Oh. how. my jaws aohed, and my throat! II we
don't all take Diphtheria will be satisfied.
Well,- all hands gathered round, ana 1ne
Dootchrnan was started to work. He WAS told
in plain English, in broken German IN lflsn'
in everything; tools were brought, ana nnaiiy
fhe bright idea struck one of us to commence
the work-that is, cut and clean off terrace
near the house, clean off the sprouts and such
things as had not been planted. Things pro-
crossed sWimmingly and left; and, Of course,
all left except our Dootchman. After awhile,
here bounces in our little girl, with eyes like
saucers:: 81 III
"Ma, Ma, the Dootehman has cut down-ali
-the-fg-bu -bushes-and the raspberrles, and
dug UP all The strawberries"
Oh, myl did you ever! And here go to
find everything just So Fig bushes straw
berries and raspberries all in a heap. He did
what he was told. He did clean that terrace
effectually. It was late next evening before
things were put back. No Strawberries no
raspberries, no figs this year.
The next day happy thought came across
the brain of the wisest among us, that perhaps
the Dootchman understood kitchen gardening
better; SO all hands gathered, and we escorted
him to the garden, gathered plows, hoes, rakes,
&C., and then put him in row Of peas aHd
showed him how to dig, and mulch, and rake.
He seemed to take TO that.wonderfully; so well,
that left perfectly satisfied that we had now
found his vocation. So next day, when the
ain came out and everything looked smiling
with hat, gloves and parasol, I'hied me into
the garden. The Dootchnaan met me with
bows: and scrape, and, with seeming pride, led
me toa great heap of roots, artichokes, &C.,
piled up in the walk:
eyes" I said, 'yes, very well good for the
cow-coo, pig, squeakie- you understand-coo
and pig" 1 z::...,...
"YaW, yaw."
Well, sauntered on, but alas, alas soon
saw the point of the joke. saw my asparagus
bed, which cost FIVE years of care and atten-
ton, and my burr artichokes all gone. Costly
feed to the COO and pigs, !; thought; but the
old man was hilarious and jovial, and was
denied even the poor privilege Of scolding.
He could not understand word OF English,
and /, did not know how to scold in Dutch.
About that time began to despair. went
tothe house sadder if not a wiser woman.
Whilst Illuminating over our .misfortunes, and
thinking that only woman was born heir to
such, our little girl came in, looked inquiring-
Iy, and said: Ion 49,.
"Mother, is this my bonnet?"
ssYaao, yaao-I mean yes, my child"
"Mother, may I ito fishing~ ,
ssl1ein, ei,s-Oh, I mean no, no, no. be-
lievs my soul I will lose the use of my ma
tive tongue if this thing goes on"
But, Mr. Editor, there is one feature in the
case favorable was greatly troubled at hrst
as to the food for our Dootchman. I looked
into cookery books, German almanacs, etc., to
find out the national dishes. tried bean soup,
saur krant; black bread, butter-milk, etc., but,
bless your soul, that was all trouble for moth
ing. Isent him ham, pork, cabbage, chicken,
rice, pudding and pies, and he actually ate all
these lust like other folks, and, what surprised
me, seemed to like each and all of them too
So we poor women are at least saved the trou-
Bile of learning how to prepare and serve up
outlandish dishes.
Well, tins passed, and Saturday IL o'clock
came; when our old servants we're accustomed
to knock off work and spend the evening ac-
cording to their own pleasure. Old uncle
Prime came along, and, as was his habit
stopped to pass his compliments, as he said:
Compliments Of the evening, Miss, and
hopes YOU are very we'll" A pause "Miss
wants to expressmy sentiments on this indi-
vidual you have fotched on the place. ! 'clar'
to God be is gRine to ruinate the dignihedness
of labor or wurk. Now, Miss, if thar is any
thing we cullud purso,ls do understand, it is
the filosophy of wurk. We jest knows how to
work, when to wurk, and when to tex off. We