The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-10-08
Short Essays by Josh Billings.

LUV.
Luv is pashun that is easier felt than
deskribed. 1t IL common to the yung,
middle-aged. and even old fellows hav
thought they had the diseaZe.
1t generally makes viktims feel phoolish,
and akt phOOliSh, too.
Sumtimes it brakes out sudden, without
emmy warning, and then agin it Gums on
slow, like the rumatiSS.
| hay known sum paShunts TO be in luv
for six months and not knO exackly what
did all them, and then | hav known other
cases WHARF the partys thought they wuz
in luv, and nothing wuZ the matter Ov
them all the time, only they wuz out of
humOr.
Sumthing to do allwus kures theze kind
Ov attacks,
When person really il in luv they aint
fit for anything else.
1t units a farmer and blacksmith for
Dizziness just az much az it doz student
at law or boarding-skool miss.
Genuine luv never fastens its fangs onto
a fellO being but once; he often gets nip
ped by it before and afterward, but the
ftIst skar sticks to him for life.
Sum people fall in luv every ninety
days, just for the phun ov the thing.
Real luv won't divide its pOSsesshun Ov
the heart with emmy other Ov the paShuns ;
it drives out ambition, and takes the stiff
ming out of pride and vanity.
A man IL never more pure than when
he il sensibly in luv.
Luv liz a great humaniZer; it makes the
rude az gentle az duv, and polishes up
the rustik like three months tuition at a
dansing skOol.
1t il hard work to be in luv and not akt
phoOlish; but luv IL the only thing knO
that makes phOlly excusable.
We allwuss laff at the yung, when they
are in luv, and pity the old ones.
An old man desperately in luv IL az
helpless az lost child.
He wanderS about needless, not know
ing where he iZ, nor where he iZ going to.
What sense he ever did hav has left him,
and he won't take nObody's advice.
We could spare almost emmy other
pashun Ov the harte better than we could
luv, althO it haZ made az much trubble in
this world as emmy Ov the rest.
sLANDER.
Slander liz a lie, and kan travel faster
than dalight kan.
WHARF it kums from it il often impOssi-
BILE to tell, and where it will go to nobody
knows.
Thare il nothing too pure for it to feed
upon, and thare IL no sich thing az satisfy
ing its appetight.
1t iz conceived in iniquity and born in
sekresy, and will live and gro fatt WHARF
truth will starve to death.
1t liz founding that the world alwuss
stands reddy to adopt and send on its way
rejoicing, with free pass and full letters
of kredit.
1t haz fastened its deadly fangs upon the
innocent and haZ made yir.ew herself
tremble in her presence.
Slander il the towards refuge, and the
devils logic.
SlOth will eat the core out of emmy man
and leave him nothing but shell to in
habit.
1t envellOps like dream and eats like {
kanker.
1t has destroyed more hopes than mis-
fortune haZ, and wherever it settles leave:
its mark like a klOud at MONDAY.
Sloth is a syren, and he who listens t
her songs will wake up to despair.
SUCCESS.
1t iZ az hard work to define a sukcess az
it il an aksident.
Yu kant lOkate a sukcess emmy more
than WI kan the north pole.
1t haz no rules and knows no laws, and
like mouse, pops out of one hole into an
other when and where yu least eXpeXt it
Menny a suckcess haZ crowned a for
lorn hope, and menny one haZ sickeneC
and died almost in the very arms Ov fru
itiOn.
The only tru way to define a sukcess il
| to sukceed, and then tell how it happened
4 fl,sa.
counselOrs ov sukcesS; but they Otter
have no control over it, for sukcess IL ;
vagrant, and will act and go WHARF i
| pleaZes.
REVENGE.
Revenge is the basest pashun of thu
harte, and to crafty it IL az low down al
a man kan glt.
Revenge il the dividing line betweeI
the human and the brute.
To forgive IL the highest priced thing
/ that man ken do; it is the nearest to be
| ing divine that emmy man kan reach.
To be revenged iz brute'S prerOgatiti
Base kOwardice IL the mother Ov re
yenge, and its only excuse IL anger.
! Revenge is no viktOry, for the author
ov it il alwuss more injured than its vic
tim.
No man ever wrealled hiz vengence yet
and lived long enuft after it to kOntem
plate the result, but waZ bitterly ashamed
Ov it.
There never haz lived on this earth
nor never will, a being pure enutf to b,
entitled to the privilege of revenging
wrong.
God iz the only One who haz a RICH
to be revenged, and He never resorts to it
| CHARITY.
Charity il a blessed privilege. 1t lift
poor human natur up to the level OF thu
angels, and sheds the light Ov HeayeT
around our pathway.
| 1t iZ the most butiful Ov all the impulse
ov the heart, and the eazyest one to exc
cute.
Thare IL not thought that goes on
from the heart kindly to welkum chill
of sorrow. but what is kredited in tn,
CRATE book Ov everlasting life under tht
he'd Ov charity.
Thare IL not a gift, even OV kOld water
thare is not self-sacritice Ov emmy kind
thare liz not a virtueous wish, nor a klnt
hope but what kan be counted amung th'
Jewels ofcharity.
The heart il the birthplace and hom'
ov charity, the head should be its conf
dante and adviser. and the hand its read!
servant.
Charity hath no market-plase here, no
hereafter. Thare il menny penny il
the great box that will count out bright
er at the last day than emmy dollar that L
thare.