Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1874-01-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

~
the ''momentous question" is mega
tived by the object of his choice, "for
in life, as in grammar, we always de
cline before we conjugate.
An old seamen. at religious meet
ing held in New York, in relating his
experience, stated that when at sea in
storms and tempests, he had often de-
rived great consolation from that beau
tiful passage of scripture, Faint heart
never won a fair lady"
F When Mr.. Wilberforce, the great
anti slavery advocate. was once can
didate for parliamentary honors, his
sister, an amiable and witty young
lady, offered the compliment of a new
gown to each of the wives of those
freemen who voted for her brother, on
which she was saluted with the cry of
Miss Wilberforce foreverr' when she
pleasantly observed, Il thank you
gentlemen, but I cannot agree with
you, for l really do not wish to be
Miss Wilberforce' forever"
A bad habit to get into-a coat that
is not paid for.
A Pennsylvania preacher while hold
ing services, recently gave thanks in
fervant prayer, for the prosperous
condition of their crops-"excepting,
o Lord, the corn which is backward,
and the oats, which are mighty thin
in spots"
A wife of nearly ten years, giving
her servant a holiday, was attending
to culinary matters herself, and, hear
ing her husband coming down into the
kitchen, thought she would surprise
him, as soon as he opened the door,
by throwing her hands over his eyes
and imprnting a kiss on his brow, as
in the honeymoon. The husband re-
turned the salute with interest
MARY, darling, where is your mis-
tress ?'' The wife discharged MARY,
darling" the next day, and has adopt
ed new plan of surprising her hus
| band"
A Hartford man thinks, if it wasn't
for newspapers, man might get along
in this world. A letter advertised for
him was taken out by his wife, WHO
happened to read the advertisement
first, and as it was communication
to him from young woman living in
Springfield, and gave him a blowing
up for not meeting her on the train
at Worcester, last week, a>little family
difficulty has arisen. But for the med
ding newspaper the situation would
have been different.
The genius was explaining the utili-
ty of an India rubber ship which he
was inventlng, when an old salt ex,
claimed: mo, no; it will never do.
An India rubber ship would rub out
all the lines of latitude and longitude
to say nothing of the equatorI'
Faith in our own ability is half ot
every battle.
The worst men often give the ,bcs
adviee.-Battey.
+ The contented man is never poor
the discontented never rich.
Frindship is the wine Of existence
love, the dram drinking.-Dickens
e Moments of triumph are not always
g moments of happiness.-Mrs, Ellis.
e There is something very sublime
though very fanciful, in Plato's de
e scription Of the Supreme Being, tha
truth is his body, and light his shad
3 ow.--AdIiSen
= The following examples in articula
ton we clip from ali exchange. NAM
of them are old, but still not altogeth
er worn out. Some of our younge
readers may play twist the tongue
with them for q little while
:, OF all the saws l ever saw saw,
never saw saw saw as this saw saws
Crazy Craycrort caught crate of crickIed crabs
A crate of crickled crabs Crazy Craycroft caught
{ If Crazy Craycroft caught crate OF cricXle
n Where's the crate of crickled crabs Crazy Cray
S croft caughtf
c Thou wreath'd and muzzl'd'st til
ar-fetch'd OK, and impriSon'dst him il
d the volcanic Mexican mountain o
: Pop-o cst-a- -pet-l, in Co to -pax-i.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickle
peppers; a peck of picked pepper
Peter Piper picked. If Peter Pipe
:. picked a peck of picked peppers
). where's the peck of picked pepper
Peter Piper picked?
J. When a twister twisting, would twist him
twist,
!, For twisting a twist three times he Will tWlS
10 But if one of the twists untwst from the twis
- The twist untwisting, untwists the twist.
Robert Rowley rolled round 70
! round; a round roll Robert Rowle
- rolled round. Where rolled the roun
70 roll Robert Rowley rolled round?
ii Theophilus Thistle, the successfu
g thistlC-sifter, in sitting sieve full
thistles, thrust three Thousand thistle
through the thick of his thumb.
VI Amid the moist and coldest frosts,
Nv With baTeSt wrists and stGuteSt boasts,
e. lie thrusts his fists against the post,
~ And still insists he sees the ghosts.
u :" Peter Prangler, the prickly pc
~ ~ picker, picked three pecks of prick
prangley pears from the prangley pc
- - trees on the pleasant prairies.
it. Wiley Vite and Wife vent on vo
e age to Vest Vinson and Vest Vindhs
a Won Wilson Wednesday.
ne Isaw Esau kissing Kate;
~, The fact is, we all three saw;
saw ESau, he ME,
SS And she saw l saw Esau
~ --$S~-