The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-02-14
NEW NOR WEsTERs.


Old folks say this winter is like 1916.
Motto for the lard nanufacturer-"I III
try.'' .5
A fourishing business - ornamental
penmanship.
"A Nashville editor says the "d theory
is q Baptist disease"
The Rochester Dem. Chronicle says
/" Hard dimes come again no more.''
The sentinel who did not sleep on his
watch had left it at the pawn brokers'.
-Parson BrownIow looks about as young
as he did five years ago, viz: ninety-five.
Why is beefsteak like locomotive
It's not of much account without it's tender
There are 1900 owners Of yachts and
9, 700 yachts registered in the English yacht
list.
-"Drunk for penny; dead drunk fol
two pennies: straw for nothing. - London
sign.
1t is said that Cardinal Antonelli is sc
seriously i'll that it is feared he will moi
recover.
Walt Whitman says he is tired of writing
poetry.-Er. How funny to be tired before
he begins.
Going to three balls in one night, is not
much better than getting letter of intro
duction to a pawnbroker.
Wisconsin churches raise money by
means of nine cent festivals, where the fare
is popped corn and milk.
-"Grangers, / will sell you cofins
cheaper than any other man in the city ~ is
what a Council Bluffs man advertises.
Josh Billings says: Success don't kon-
sist in never making blunders, but in never
making the same one the sekond time
"A Chicago paper chronicled the election
of officers of the st. Louis Board of Trade
under the head of " Miscellaneous Crimes -
The following question is respectfully
addressed to the clergy: Whether a person
who sits in the gallery of the church is
responsible for deeds done in the body?
Parson Brownlow's only distress now is
an itching back, and he is often seen raking
it against sharp corner while the solemn
Senators are debating questions Of state.
The city treasurer of the newly-fedged
city of Holyoke, Mass, added as a rider to
his oath of office, "And swear that if I
see any more stealing going on will expose
it''
Jefferson Davis declines to make any
more speeches because he has been misrep-
resented. There are several speakers ra-
ging about the United States who should
be misrepresented Immediately.
The Englishman who made a heavy
wager with q distinguished man Of science
tnat tbs world vas ltssr, and was afterward
indicted for libel for writing insulting letters
to the umpire who decided against him, is
now declared to be insane. .-....
One hundren and twenty-nine citizens
of Eugene, Oregon, swore off drinking
ardent spirits on New Years Day. One
hundred and eighteen have gone back to
their cups, and the other eleven are hanging
around the saloons.
-'' If this jury eonvicts my CLIENT" said
a Missouri lawyer, rolling up his sleeves
and displaying his ponderous fists, 81 shall
feel compelled to meet each one and hammer
justsce into his soul through his head
Verdict not guilty.
The economical authorities of Grafton,
Maine, refrain from arresting Moses Ten
ney, who recently murdered his wife, on
the ground that his age and infirmities rem
der it ''quite probable that in the course
of nature his miserable existence may be
ended by death before he will be arraigned
in our courts
The fellow who wanted to cross tho
Mississippi river on the ice, and, fearing
that it was too thin, began to crawl over or
his hands and knees, dragging skiff after
him as a Hfe-preserTer in case Of accident
felt very sick when, just as he was nearly
across and all tired out, a fellow passed hin
with sled loaded with pig-iron.- Chicago
Post.
The San Francisco Neeos Letter has
settled it that Isaiah was an Irishman. Its
reasoning is as follows: "We think there
is internal evidence enough to demonstrate
to the satisfaction fany candid reader that
Isaiah was an Irishman. Take single
example isaiah xxxvii, 36), And whe1
they arose early in the morning they were
all dead corpses.' ~
An English Professor has been putting
his knife into q parish legend which made
it out that the church was planned by day
and built by night by invisible powers
The professor examined into the early
records Of the parish and discovered thai
the architect of the church was Mr.. Day
and its builder a Mr.. Knight.
A LITTLE CANDID CRITICISM. Not lons
ago the youthful Mr.. c. was engaged
to manipulate the ivory on church orgar
not far from the Hub. At the same churcl
and upon the same occasion a Unitarian
clergyman was engaged to of1iciate in tht
pulpit. Both of these gentlemen left mex
morning by the same train, and both occu
pied the same seat, the young organist rec
ogniziIig the clergyman, but himself un
known to the cloth. Passing the compli
ments of the morning, the cloth queriee
whether the young man attended the Uni
tartan church ON the preceding day. Organ
said he had had that pleasure, and asked
Pulpit how he liked the music Pulpit saie
the music would have been excellent if til,
organ had not been played in so loud ant
boisterous manner. Then old Pulpi
asked young organ how he liked the preach
ing. Organ said, ssnot at all; the preache+
was too loud and ranting.n A gentleman
in the next seat who had listened to th,
conversation. turned about and kindly in