The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-12-12

THE cradle, but never before ii, When the sing
Ing closed last spring, Snag was proud bach
c!or.
The Detroit boys sing this hymn when the
Black Maria moves of with its load:
They'll have mush for breakfast,
And they'll have mush for tea,
And mush good may it do en-
Too mush for you and me
The following is hard on the rich man:
4 charitable Cincinnati man keeps pair Of
dogs chained at his front door SO that poor peo
pie who stop to get bite can be accommoda
ted without taking the trouble to 20 in the
house
y tailor speaking Of the winter fashions, says
very correctly: There is not much change in
.eutlcman's pants this month,
T The Aldermen of Kansas City are irreycrcntly
spoken OF by local journal as the gentlemen
with red eyes and nose
\ three or four line item from local reporter,
may, it seems, contain solemn warming;
a girl in Springfield, o., who danced with her
corsets pulled up 10 the last hole, was soon after
in hearse that pulled up to the last hole that
had been dug in the graveyard
This one too, Is expressed with remarkable
brevity and tcrscness
Betting that he could eat three quarts of oys.
ters at one meal, by a gentleman ut Rome, GA,
was the reason that an undcrtaker'S clerk was
busting OFT the hearse the next day.
This will be a rough winter for the poor, and
reporters would like to know soon as convcn.
lent if the street railway companies intend fur
nishing tickets to the press. The saloon keepers
have expressed their readiness 10 take tickets
for drinks and ii the railways do the fair thing,
members OF the press will be able to worry
through the winter.--HR Sent.
\ Western paper announces the coming of a
star actor who will show our benghtcd citizens
how Shakespeare ought TO be slung.'
\ gentleman in the cigar business sends his
annual gem to the editor Of the Detroit FREE
Press;
''TiS autumn, and the leaves are dry,
And rustic on the ground,
Producing in'ads Of cigars
AT trifinS cost per pOand.'
\ Colorado exchange says: The Canon city
girls don't take kindly to croquet. They say it
is too high toned for them. Leap frog is their
best hold
Wasn't it rather singular to see Arbuckle lead
ing the singing at 1amagc's, Sunday morning,
Just before that eloquent sermon against thea
tres ?-BoSt0n Globe,
4 Western paper says that Uddcrzook went to
the acai'old gorsed with pious fcryor and two
breakfasts
Kentucky editor speaks Of local genius
who has been 4 pcrscycring contributor to the
Office waste basket for several years.
According TO Cincinnati paper ohm Thomas
was recently sued by Hester Prim for breach of
promise. John Thomas, come into COURT shout.
eel the constable John Thomas needn't come
in to court me any more said Hester, primly.
! The name Of the st. Louis Journal paragraph
isl Is Waterloo, and when bis friends get mad at
him they address him rs Waterloonaticr mol
wonder that he has the liver complaint half the
time.
/ \ party of curiosity seekers IL securing the
State Of Tennessee in search Of the late Radical
candidate for -Brookiyr Irgw
! The Daily 7otionicLjnichi SchhaJuua is rapidly
dsplacing the other papers of Ycddo, and has a
circulation of 800. Now is the time to subscribe
! Detroit Fire Press: The Milleritcs have set.
tied on the both of November as ascension day,
but for men who expect to be IN heaven on the
2lst they hold hay and oats up wonderfully still,
The Young Mems Christian Association of
yhago talk Of moving to some city where it won't
be such hard work.-Brcokiyn ArguS.
/ What DO the admirers of Susan Denim think of
this:-trom the pen Of Bloomington serb.
bier:
Susan Denim has been giving Queen Elizabeth,
Man and Wife and Love at Long Branch, at
lSchroders Opera House. Susan is fcarfully and
wonderfully made, and If she ever was in love at
Long Branch, the fellow couldn't have spanked
more than one side Of her at sitting.
Apparently, the idea that the scribblcr wishes
TO convey is that Susan is extensiye-a fearful
waste.
/ OK BuTiEe.
Beams Of hope and expectation
! Ever active in thy brain,
| Now are dormant, for the nation
II Justly shows a sheer dlsdain
/ At thy factiOus, thrying nature;
! Mindful Of thy past career
In lis topmOst legislature,
Now rejects thee from that sphere
i Friends of Benny drop tear!
i Bowed with grief aud disappointmcn,
Undeplorcd in his defeat,
Two small kegs Of Daily's Ointment
Let us plaster on this beat;
Ever prudish, cock-eycd bore,
Rest in peace, and steal no more.
y. J. sun.
b In Thompson's GAZETTEER is the following ezra
tlm: For Duichman read Dr. Adams
The Rochester Chronicle asks: What shall we
do with the dead leaves OF thi, country"
Leave EN- alone.
A New York German sings Who tears dem
Tiger fags away wen spo, him en- der smooth