Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-10-23

SIDSER SMITH was once visiting the con
servatory Of yousg lady vino was prouC
Of her fiowers, and who need ,u"l very az
curate!v} proiusiou Of botanical names.
Madam, have YOU the iSeutennjs lNori2
SiSP'
'Noh she said, very innocentiy. 4 Lac
it last winter, and gave it to the Arch
bishop Of CANTERBURY, and ii came on
beautifully in the springr
Septsnnis psoriasis is the medical namt
Of he seven-year itch.
A TEMPERANCE crusadress, on her re
turn from a pilgrimage to the beer-shops
was seen TO approach the pantry ana wa!
overheard singing:
Little drors c. todty.
Little grains OF spice
nnut they IGGke body
Feel sc avfa nice
AN old negro was complaining to friend
that an idle vegabond had struck him.
Well did you hit him back 2 asked the
friend.
W. bdL sdlti VIC Olt luslI. OANu
touch him back; but hit him head wid
2 beGn-po!e =
WHO THE DEVIL HE WAS Highlanderi
have the habit, when talking their English,
such as it is, of interjecting the personal
pronoun he where not required, such as
The king he has come instead Of 'Ths
king has come Oftcn, in consequence.
a sentence or expression is rendered sui:
ficiently ludicrous, as the sequel will show.
A gentleman says he has had the pleasure
ot introducing 10 clover man, the Rev.
NJ, let his locality be a secret, and re-
Gently nc began his discourse thus: Ny
friends, you will find the subject oF dis.
course this afternoon in the epistle general
O, the Apostle Peer, chapter 9Th and verse
Sth, II the words, The devil ne gOeth
about ike a roaring lion, seeking whom be
may devOUr.' Now, my friends, We vii!
divide the subject Of our text to-day into
four heads. Firstly, we shall endeayor To
ascertain Who the devil he was z Second.
ly, we shall inquire into his geographical
position namely, Where the devil he was
going ? Thirdly, and this of 4 personal
character-'Whot the devil he was seeking 2
And fourthly and lastly, we shall endeavor
to solve 4 question which ha never been
solved yet-'What the devil he was roar
ing about -
A YOUNG baChylOr WHO had Loeu ap-
pointed sheriff, was called upon TO serve an
attachment against beautiful Young Wild
O~. lie accordingly called upon her, and
said Madam, have IN attachment for
you The widow b!ushed, and said that
his attachment was rcc!procated. You
don't understand me you must proceed
70 court. i know it is leap year, sir, but
l prefer you 10 do the Courting.' Mrs
p, this il 40 time for triiing the JUS
tice is waiting The iusticc! Why. pre-
fer a parson.'
SAYS the indianapolis Journal: IL the
absence Of teacher last Sunday, Super!n-
fendent knippenberg. OF the Garden Bap.
list Suuday-school, TOOK charge Of the class
hjmself-sone SIX bright boys. Indirectly
he had occasion 10 speak Of the two roads,
one leading TO Heaven aud one to Hell, and
stated that Goo had placed the Bible in our
hands 10 direct us 10 the right road and
warn Us from walking in :he road which
leads TO ruin. The superintendent, wish.
iuS TO illustrate the importance oC the I'm.
ger board, asked the boys:
'Boys, have you ever been in HI roua.
TYP
Yes, sir.
Did you ever come to 4 point where two
roads met, and found no dnCer-board Il
direct you =
'YesEr'
What road did you take =
The road that had the most black wal
nuts on, was the quick response Of one q
the bright lRds. Mr.. X. found the answer
too much, and with loud emile replied
That's right, boys 20 for the black wal
nuts
PUT DowS ANOTHER PLATE.-A
story if told Of a couple Of farmers whC
lived not great distance apart, one o
whom was noted for beng very penurious.
One day bis neighbor called upon him whiIe
he was eating dinner, but instead of asking
him TO sit down 10 The table with him, hC
kept or eating and talking just AZ though
Well. what is the news, ueigbbor Brown :?
Nothing much No news up your way ::
be asked, stiil helping himself 10 his goot
dinner, while his ueighbor looked on witt
anxiety and appetite. We'll, yes, now tina
think ont, there is just grain of news
Mr.. Jones' COW has got five calves, replied
the visitor. Five calves never bearc
Of such thing. Why, what the dickens
does the fifth one DO when the other foul
are sucking?' p Why, he stands and look
on like a dumb fool, as am doing now.
On, ah' Hannah, put down another
plat.
DIDH'T LEE MCTToE-A good storI
is told Of recent excellent performance 0
Faudel's Mesiah, at the Broadway Bap
list Church, Louisville, KY. & farmer
took his wife TO hear the grand music, Sc
splendidly rendered on the occasion, anC
after listening with apparent enjoyment, th'
pair became interested iu one OF the grsnt
choruses, we all, Ike sheep, have gone as
tray First sharp soprano voice exclaimed
we all, ike sheep-.' Next deep basC
voice uttered, in the most earnest tones
We all, like sheep-.' Then all the sing
ers az once asserted, we all, ike sheep
- 'Daruei if I do = exclaimed ole
Rusticus TO his partner. ike bee: and
haoon. hut can't bear sheep meat There
wac an audible titte7 in that immediate vi
cinity, but the splendid music attracted at
teutioo from the pair, and they quietly
slinned nut