Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1874-02-12
ADVERTISING RGEs
Disheartened Life Insurance
Agent.

A family named Kemper moved in
to house in our row last week, writes
Max Adeler, and Benjamin p. Gum,
the life insurance agent, who hives in
the same row, was the first caller. He
dropped in to see if he could not take
out policy for Mr.. Kemper. Mrs.
Kemper came down to the parIor to
see him. ei r~e
Il suppose said Gunn, Mr.. Kemper
has no insurance on his life.'
No. said Mrs. Kemper.
We'll. I'd like to get him to take out
a policy in our company. It's the saf.
est iH The world; the largest capital,
smallest rates and biggest dividends
MT. Kemper don't take much inter-
est in such things now,' said Mrs. K.
We'll, madam, but he ought to, in
common justice to you. No man knows
when he will die, and by paying a
ridiculo''sly small sum now, Mr.. Kem-
per can h>tve his family in affluenee.
I'd like to hand you, for him, few
pamphlets containing statistics upon
the suject; NAV I?'
'OfcVurse, if you wish to-
Don't sou think he can be induced
to insure? asked Gum.
j hardly think so,' replied Mr.. X.
He is in good health, 1 suppose?
Has he complained lately of being
sick?'
Not lately
May ask if he has any considera-
BILE wea.th?' ~
Not a cent = ..-, .s,.-s
Then of course he must insure. No
poor y an can afford to neglect such an
oppor5 nifty. L suppose he travels
ss7a's s.eI.; goes about in railroad cars
d W J,.ig' rOus places@
~, - keeps very quiet
'Alah of steady habits, s'pose.'
Very steady /. -5a-5ti Te--
He is just the very man i want, seid
Gum. + knowI can sell his Ia policy
Z don't think you can,' replied Mrs.
Kemper. 5.>'--- t@
s5.Wby? when will he be at home?
I'lf call on him. i don't see any rea-
sen. why shouldn't insure him.
= know, replied Mrs- x.
e He has; heen dead twenty-seven
years y said the widow. s-- lasfea isi
Then Gum left all of sudden. Fl
will not insure any of the Kempers.
3 A Town Hill boy vas awakened by
severe teetiraehe, Thursday night and
soon signified to mis- father by sundry
howls, and a frequent repetition of the
name OF Moses, that some sort of at
tentiDn should be paid him. The par
ent aroused, at one and set 20 work to
relieve the pain He put a saucer of
alcohol on the stove, and touched
match to the liquid. While il was
blazing he took hold of the saucer to
carry it to the bed for the purpose of
advancing some operation calculated
to Obliterate the teethsche, when, not
proper calculation rs to the
of the saucer, he was
obliged to let go of it with some precip-
itation. Itlnay be necessary TO state
here that, the parent in his anxiety to
relieve his offspring had omitted an
elaborate toilet, and was moving about
in very primitive attire--cohsisting
of very short shirt. The mo-
ment the saucer dropped the burning
liquid spirited from the dish, and CATCH
ing hold OF the capillary substance on
the legs of our friend, mornted up his
body like flash of lightning, and
his very luxuriant whiskers
almost instantaneously disappeared.
The movement wac so rapid that the
man was stupetied for second. In
the next he fell to slapping his SCARED
limbs, rubbing his burnt face, and
bowling like a disappointed lunatic.
But it cured the boy and as that was
What the parent got up for. he is prob
ably satisfied. .--Danbury News.