Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-07-04
ABOUT WOMEN.

The women preachers. number
thirty-eight now.
Miss Nettio Howard Houston, a
daughter Of the old horo Of San ia.
cinto, is "tho gifted poetess of Tex
as"
a girl arrested in Boston the 9TH
or day for stealing an apple was so
weak for want of food that she fain-
ted away in the Courtroom.
\ Nebraska man and his wife
happened to elope on on the same
night, and each left a note for the
other.
When u devoted wife holds her
husbanl out at arms length by his
sore ear, and says she wouldn't
crush a worm, he realizes all at
once how fearfully and wonderful
ly women are made.
A good way to restore a man ap-
parently drowned, is TO first dry
him thoroughly, inside and out,
and then clap a speaking trumpet
to his ear and and inform him that
his mother-in-law's dead.
If ladies want to look beautiful,
here Is a sure recipe: Eat meat once
a day, pickles once a week, and
sweetmeats once a year; u cold bath
every day, walk five miles every
day, and then you will have no
need Of paint or powder.
The COW is rapidly gaming a rep
utation for studied vindictiveness
that few animals would care TO a.
chieve. In St. Louis, the other
day, COW kicked and broke the
arm of poor woman who has SIX
children and husband to support.
1t is a solemn thing-a very SOL
emn thing to get married-to feel
that henceforth through life the
mild-eyed girl at your side is to be
the only female in the wide world
duly licensed to throw fat-irons st
your head.
There is u society in Brooklyn
Theodore Cuyler, d. D., president
for putting down eorsets, gar
ters, high -heeled shoes, false hair,
waterfalls, monster bonnets, rouge,
hair dye, and other feminine vani-
ties. The society makes but little
headway. 1t has the world, the
flesh and the devil against it.
No one Save hotel-keepers) can
have any conception of the profit
made out of bridal parties at Mag
ara. Sarah is too full Of love TO
cat, and 'Federwick' partakes spar
ingly, while embarrassment pre-
dominates. Every meal is merely
looked at by the simpletons, while
board at the rate of 81 so per day
goes right along.
Sweet Mollie Nudge resides on
the banks of the Mississippi, in a
poor hovel, with her father, who
hates all mankind, and has made
his daughter promise never to mar
~. MOllic is described as so beau
tiful and intelligent that no unmar-
ried man was ever known to see
her without Offering to make her his
wife.
a San Francisco woman, who
stepped upon a trechcrous pea-pod
which some one had thrown on the
side-walk, Is thus described: "She
kicked with both feet as high as 4
ballet star, gave the peculiar, shrill,
feminine scream, sat down and said
'Oh N.Y. smoothed down her dis
ordered attire, looked round wild
ly, rose quickly, shook herself TO
see if anything was loose, gave a
withering glance at the place where
she had fallen, and, with all the
spare blood she had in her face,
went on with her shopping
A PoOR OPINION OF LIoNs.-Dr.
Livingston Is said to have express
ed the utmost contempt for lions
you talk about the majesty OF the
lion,' said he, chatting one day at
party in London with Sir Edwin
Londseer, but you do not know
the beast. There Is no more ma
iesty about him in the forest than
there is about that poodle. 1t is
all poetry. Lions are arrant COW
ards-cowardly, sneaking beasts
You can hardly tell 4 lion from a
donkey when you come upon him
in the forest; and if you come upon
lion suddenly, his first impulse Is
TO tuck his tail between his legs
and bolt. He will spring upon you
if he comes upon you unawares and
can have time TO crouch, but if a
man has the courage to look lion
in the face, yOa need not even cock