Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-03-18
Varieties.
Natural wit-Humors of the blood.
Divine fisticuffs-The mills Of the

The poorest defeating your own
words.
Young ladies economy-never throw
away a good match.
The spirit has moved them in Ohio
to move the spirits.
Parties with decayed teeth are not
always good stump speakers.
Oysters are advertised at seventy-hvs
cents the half dozen in Salt Lake City.
Central Falls, R. l., boasts of 260-
pound boy, who is only 16 years old.
There is but one baby in a newly
made Oregon town, and the neighbors
take turns borrowing it.
Avery fashionable lady says she IL
resigned to her fete-or to as many a.
she can get invitations for.
He who reforms himself has done
more towards reforming the public than
a crowd OF noisy. impotent patriots.
An Ohio lady wants a divorce, be-
cause ON one occasion her husband put
her to soak in the rain-water barrel.
The latest burglar ar-alarm-Newspa-
pers spread loosely upon the stairwsys
and in front OF doorways and windows.
An indianapolis paper attempted to
call a cotemporary editor a wood saver,
and the more intelligent printer made
it ''word-sawer."
An unfortunate swain, who was kicked
out of the house by his sweetheart's
stern parent the other night, declares it
to have been quite exiting.
Faint not the miles to heaven are
few and short. There are many heads
lying in Christ's bosom, but there is
room for yours among the rest.
An exchange says: keep an eye out
for the early resumption of specie pay
ment." Both our eyes are already out
looking for it-and SO are our elbows
1t is said that the street venders Of
lemonade in Marseilles have struck, but
probably before striking each vender
provided himself with ''stick" in his
lemonade.
The first Russian newspaper was pub.
lished over one hundred and sixty years
ago, under the special patronage of
Peter the Great, one of its principal
contributors.
Our principles are the springs of our
actions our actions the springs of our
happiness or misery. Too much care,
therefore, cannot be taken in forming
our principles.
A Detroit Justice of the Peace told q
girl, who appeared before, that she had
an artless way about her that reminded
him of hen balanced on the top OF q
picket fence, but he sentenced her to
''ninety days" nevertheless.
AT a Juvenile party, one little fellow,
rejoicing in the splendOr of his new
clothes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark: "You amt dressed
as well as am" "Well, retorted the
other, 81 can lick you, anyhow"
The Bishop of Montreal had prohlbi-
ted dancing. Two officers, wishing to
obtain permission to dance the polka at
military ball, danced it together to
show the Bishop how it was done.
After the exhibition, the Bishop gave
his permission in these terms "You
can dance the polka as long as you
plcaSe-Wllu each other
I like to hear of such a boy as this,
He IS so natural that he viii never get
into a book. He went into bookstore
with his mother, and crept up to the
juvenile of the establishment with the
sly query. Say, have you got any
books for boys that amt got any reli-
gion in 'em 2" Poor little wretch. 1t is
,rNAh h.,-gl - Il
work he has found reading.
A stock company is organizing in At
lsnta, Ga, for the purpose of manufac-
turing paper from palmetto, of which
that section OF the State abounds. A
mill OF capacity sufficient to make 90, 900
pounds of paper per day, is proposed to
be erected on a water power In Lowndes
County, in the midst of palmetto growth
and a sufficient quantity of this plant
grows within an area of ten miles to
supply 20, ,0O0-pound mill a year.
An Englishman who had but lately
arrived in the United States was aston
ishing the unsophisticated "natives" in
Cleveland the other day by describing
the many wonders in Great Britain and
the vast superiority of the country over
"Yankeedom." Referring to London he
descanted at length upon the immense
number of buildings which the ''village"
contained, concluding with statement
relative to the enormous amount OF
square miles which they covered. At
this point, however, a person in the
crowd interrupted him with the query:
That's all well enough, mister, but
what L want to know is, has she been
fenced in yet? ?"
A writer in the current COrnhiU Nag
azine, discussing the claim of certain
women that, if their sex were released
from the drudgery of housekeeping
and maternity, a great deal of energy
would be set free which at present is
employed to no adequate purpose, says:
''To what other purposes will it then be
applied? The answer suggested is that
ladies will then have the professions
thrown open to them, and will be law
yers, physicians, and professors. As
suning that this will take place, the
difficulty still remains. Unless crime
and disease increase in the same pro-
portion, which, it is to be hoped, will
not be one of the results of our Utopia,
the amount of employment for lawyers
and physicians will remain what it was;
and for every feminine laborer mascu-
line will be displaced.
A correspondent of the New York
Commercial AdUertiser sends to that
journal the following account of the
misadventures of pet cat. He writes:
In the upper story of zone hundred and
sixty is hat finishing establishment,
shellac being freely used in the pro-
cess, barrel OF which, in solution, is
kept standing at a warm temperature.
Our pet, while on foraging expedition
the other night, fell into it; scrambling
out, she made tracks for distant part
of the room, where she sat down to re-
view the situation; and it being a cold
night, the shellac quickly set, and pussy
was fast to the floor. The porter found
her in the morning ''unable to move
hand or foot or wink an eye" Being
kind hearted ha rrOcural some hot