The Placer herald., 1874-06-20
AUBURN, PLACER COUNTY. CALIFORNIA. JUNE 90 1874
DRUNKEN Legs AND A SOBER HEAD

1t has long been mooted question with
moral and physical scientists if one portion Of
man could be absolutely sober while the
other was decidedly drunk. A little Incl
dent that occurred on the streets of Sacra-
mento, says the Bee, the other night may
serve to assist in solving this momentus
problem.
On one Of the streets leading to the south
ern portion Of the city, at the top OF the grade
running down from l. street, was seen a cti-
zen tightly clasping lamp post with bis
arms. His head was delivering severe
lecture to his legs, and thus it spoke:
"You confounded legs, You are drunk !
am sober. have wife and six children,
and want to 60 home want you to take
me there. I'll bet you ten dollars you can,
do ii! You may go just which way you've
a mind tern the middle of the street, or
on the sidewalk; don't care which, only
take me home to my wife and children
Thus directed the lectured legs started for
the middle of the street, in shambling,
crooked and uncertain way Arrived there
they perversely turned the face of the sober
head in the wrong direction, whereupon the
head thus vociferously scolded:
"There! | knew you was drunk You're
going the wrong way Why don't you take
me home to wife and children-six of EN- |!
Six of emp
The legs then wabbled the head back to
the sidewalk and manag ged to scramble upon
it in IA dubious and doubtful sort of a way
when the head again opened upon them
Now, you Internal drunken wre ches,
see if you can take me on this sidewalk to
my wife and children"
Thus admonished the legs again essayed
the task of conveying their load to the home
of The head. Engaging and stumbling in a
manner calculated to seriously endanger the
safety of the head, they managed to convey
the latter member to a considerable distance
when they met with slight obstruction and
tumbed the sober head plump upon pile
of lumber. The sober head, considerably
bruised, soon raj 'ed itself and thus ratified
away at the drunken legs:
" There, you Internal drunken wretches
You We gone and done i'll You've thown
me on to this pile of lumber and nearly killed
me! Get up, now, and start again, if you
know cnoughl'
The legs started again and bore the head
to the edge of the sidewalk when they sue
cumbed and squatted. Soon were heard
sounds of violent retchings which conveyed
to listeners the idea that an extensive contract
for vomiting was being rigidly executed.
Shortly the head found voice, and thus
talked to the legs:
" There, you devilish drunken skunks,
you've thrown your, dashed insides out See
if you can carry me home now, dash you, to
my wife and Children"
WeariIy the legs Strengthened themselves
mp to do the bidding of their tyrannical head.
Feeby they felt their way toward the wait
ing wife and children of the sober head the
latter carefully and constantly admonshing
them in this wise
Steady, nowl Be CAREFUL Dye see
hat hole? Ye nearly pitched me into it!
Look outl If you throw me into another
pile of lumber blessed if don't lay there all
night, dash you'll Look out for yourselvesl
Take me home to my wife and children, or
lll-l'll-- punch yer - bloody -" and
the head thus scolding and directing, drunk
en- legs and sober head vanished in the dark
ness, and passed out of the hearing of the
listeners.