American citizen., 1874-10-17
THE ANCIENT GOOSE.
BY CHARLES BARNARD.

THAT'S what they said of him. Ills
mustache was gray, he was past thirty
nine and, not being married, was con
sidered solitary 1t mattered little to
him The care of his patients kept him
bright and active. His profession was
sufficient for his wants. He was the
loved and respected physician for half
the families in the place, and he never
wanted for company and friendship.
Why he had never married had been the
speculation of the village. The subject
was now threadbare, and they had ceased
to talk of it. He saw much of female
society, for he was one of those fine, rare
natures that make "brothers to girls
His genial good nature, and, above ali,
his ability to keep secrets, made him in
deed the brother to half the girls in
Wauchusetta- They came to him with
their little pains and ills and their little
heart -breakings and love sorrows. For
the one he had pills and advice; for the
other a ready ear, counsel, help and con
fidence.
No wonder Sally Depford came
fearful and angry to him in her
little difficulty with Sam Barrett.
A small rage made her the more
attractive. As the doctor heard her
wofuI tale he could hardly fail to study
her face with admiration
Young, twenty years his junior, rather
pretty, reasonably well educated, sensi-
BILE, and quite ready for IA joke al any
time, she preferred the bright side of
everything Hence her present sorrow
She did not wish to he bothered" as she
expressed it, with serious love affair.
1t was a trouble, "a vexation, an inter
ference with her pleasure, and
well, therei It's entirely dreadful,
and l don't want it, nor him. just rs |
was fairly out of school and preparing
to have splendid time with the girls
a. 81. Lon. Il I..v,f
like it,
She tried to cry, but could not. 1t was
not worth crying about So she brushed
back the black hair from behind her ears
looked the venerable doctor straight in
the eye, and said:
THAT is SO, Doctor. Is it not:"
The doctor had no Immediate reply to
make. He would consider the case-and
her.
There was something peculiarly at
tractive about her face, and it was small
wonder that Sam Barrett, the last beau
left in the village, was desperately in love
with her.
She frowned. He was too slow
'Come, sir, parade your wisdom. can
pay for advice, and l want it."
$50 to bed early, get up late, and sleep
it Off"
That's very good for him. Tell him
that, please. As for me, it does not help
bit. There it stands. He will pursue
me with attentions. l don't want -"
"Snub him"
Hes not snubable. Snubbing falls
harmless on his good-natured tempera-
ment. I've tried it, and it don't work.
lie took it like lamb
''Tell him you're not at home"
"Then he leaves his card and says
he will call again. And he is sure to
do So"
Poor boy! He has it very bad this
time. The symptoms are alarming"
They are, Doctor, they are, and don't
like it. It's a nuisance, and a bother,
and hate him. Therer'
Feel better, my dear?"
Yes; for I'm getting mad. feel like
breaking things, and"
You do. You do it all the time Poor
boy, I'm not surprised Here YOU go
about the place, being as attractive as
possible, and then you break all our
hearts, and scold us for it. What do you
expect?"
'It's not my fault didn't make my
SELF
Well-no-not exactly-"
For Heavens sake, Doctor, why don't
you do something? Advise me-"
Get married"
doctor, you are too hateful"
Il presume so; doctors always are.
he can no longer trouble you"
NOW you're silly, Doctor, and
sha'n't tell you any more. You don't
care straw for my troubles, after all,
and"
Here she began to be teary, and threat
ened to have "a good cry"
My dear, my advice is not SO bad.
You must admit that if you were en-
gagged he would leave you at once
- suppose So"
Yes Then get engaged; or, if you
don't care to go far, arrange with
some young man to be engaged to him
temporarily. Then your Sam -"
Hes not my Sam, thank Heaven.
self another wife, and when all is secure
you can break your engagement, and all
will be serene again"
- What an absurd idea, jump into
the water for the sake of escaping from
drowning / tell you don't want any
body's attention. 1t would be dread
full trial TO be engaged at all, even in
self-defense."
% Not if the other party would agree
to keep himself away, and simply lend 1
diamond ring for while, and play the
part of the distant intended:"
Il don't know, Doctor; it is desperat,
measure. But it would be etfectual."
vi course.
"It would be rather amusing to g,
home and announce that | was engaged
/ should have to tell mother how it really
stood, and father would be, of course
let into the secret. The rest need no
know. Goodncss, what scattering
there would be, and how all the ole
ladies would talk"
You need not care. 1t would bs
easy to act your part, and in a few week
all would be comfortably over and every
thing would be serene again"
- declare, Doctor, the more / thnl
of it, the more amusing it seems. 1t i
very wicked, no doubt, but, -theh, tn,
case is hard one -"
"And demands heroic remedies"
Precisely. Now the next step is t,
get up a good lover. | shall not expec
much. Any straw man that's coDvenien
will answer. Do you know of on,
Doctor-a good one? He must be nice
and all that, or i couldn't endure it."
Well-no-I cannot think of on
Just now. There are none living nca
that are available. Perhaps we Nigh
import one"
"Doctor, I've an idea"
"How startling, Bring it forth, that
may admire it,
% You be the lover"
"All right. Pm willing"
"Then were engaged
Yes-for the present"
In fun, you know"