Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-05-29
RAISING s. CRAPS"

"But the weeds" said !.
"Oh, they're easily managed" sara ne.
land the hail. said 1, ''and the snow and
the frost, aud the grasshoppers ana the mems,
and the hogs and the drouth, and the bad
seed and the sun and the floods anu The DEVIL
"Oh! YOU look only upon the unfavorable
side," SAID he.
And went home, and pondered all night,
and at last decided to make garden. And
would make ME hot-bed. and would get
up mornings and hoe it and weed it and water
1t; aud would beat Bailey on radlshes, and
Cashier on lettuce AID Perkins on tomatoes
and Fat Sam on onions, and Morrill, on car
rots-Td show people that gardens can be
made, would.
Hadn't heard it preached for years that
here all the elements combine with all the
hens and WORKOUT seed to drive the gardener
distracted, and hadn't boldly opposed such
notions and referred the GROWERS to Italian
skies?
And hadn't certain wise man of Bozeman,
named Clark, at each mention of garden,
jecrc1 at homemade cabbages and laughed
domestic parsnips to scorn? And hadn't he
limited that the mere thought of q garden was
evidence that in my creation Providene. had
| tried to make fool, and that would materi-
ally improve on the manufacture by cxpend-
ing money in seeds!
| And when he beholLs me from Ills cham
ber-window Ct hot morning. digging and
delving and cursing and wedding and pack
ing and sweating, don't lie sing, how does
your garden grow and didn't tell you SO?
But warning availed nothing, and girded
up my lons and shut my eyes. And now I'd
show these people, and I'd kill the man who
! might sell Inc last years seed, and I'd watch
that hot-bed through thick and thin, so help
me bob.
Some how hot-bcds are costly Al ticles-that
one of mine holds more glass than church
and produces if possible less; ana by the
time had supplied it with a thermometer
and had paid GU, $40 tor seed, and had bought
all the books on gardening, aud a waterproof
and barrel OF liquid manure, and two pat
ent hoes and a vcntilator. and scive and
wheelbarrow concluded that each head of
lettuce would cost me $42.
just as this calculation had been made it
began to hail. That storm concentrated right
over that hot-bcd. and that hail made de-
mand for glass. Who says there was whole
pane left? And swore. and I jumped into
the hot-bel and rolled in it, and cursed it,
and went-and bought more glass.
! Did open it to air the sickly-looking mon
strosities that struggled here and there. Oh!
7 c,1lr ~, In 0,,A
hadn't subscribed to all the agricultural pa
pers in the known world that might be
posted. But did the books say the cats would
get in. Did they offer to make up my loss to
me when, throwing brick at the fourteenth
cat. the cat csc ped and the glass didn't?
And then when the heat burned up every
thinS-and: when it wasn't hot enough-and
when 1 hal too much sun-anl when had
too littlc-and when did cover it with SIS
carpet at night-and when didn't-and when
| gave it air-and when didn't give it any
how think you l felt!
And when each time 1 left it open gale
arose the moment l turned the corner, aud
blew down the sashes and smashed the glass
and frightened the worms that ab0unded-
and when looking up cure for toad-stools
from radish seed returned, without data, to
find somebody's 200-pound sow wallowing in
a hole two feet deep right in tho middle of
the hot-bed-and when that man named
Clark said twas always SO since childhood's
hour and lie had known all along it would be
failurc-and when the neighbors passed ME
by with pitying glance and wondered if it
x,,l,
think you then felt.
But | had one consolation the climate
might not do tor hot-beds, but. surely, an
outdoor garden would thrive.
And are not Germans gardeners By nature,
and didn't hire one who knew all about it
And didn't he lay out the beds. and dig the
trenches for the irrigation, aud plant the
seeds? Was it my fault that lie built the
beds too high, too wide aud too long? Was
to blame because he dug the trenches too
deep, and planted the seeds wrong side upi
Hadn't he said lie knew all about it? And
when first turned on the water, and washed
and swashed seeds and vegetables and beds
and trenches in one mess into the ditch, why
should cnvious men yell with delight?
Is itnot better to have garlened, and failed,
than never to have gardened at all? Haven't
l learned something Of the conformation Of
the carth's surface and the habits Of bugs and
worms? And though weeds before unknown
to botany, and angle-worms longer and latter
and hungrier than ever seen before, have
grown up from tic bushel-basket-sized clods
lett in those beds by the German who knew
all about it. yet have made the battle aud
am nursing ten weak radishes aud ono cab
bage as sickly as a yellow dog.
But lowers-ah, yes! Any one with pa
thence and energy could raise some flowers.
But here come the directors again and
want Of rain and lots Of hail. and bugs and
lice and mold and night and day. and weeds
and cats and wind would join to distract
saint and produce desert.
And SO 1t was. The beds were laid out with
geometric care, and the butcher walked over
them-raked and wecdcd were they, and cat
fights made of them bloody arena-watered
were they and watched, aud hens did scratch
and dogs did prowl-c0vered were they by
night and shaded by day, and the most prom
ising spots were scenes of cock-dehts, and
the Chinaman emptied his lye.water upon
the Gladiolus. And ten hundred thousand
grasshoppers swallowed up the Sweet Will
liams. and nine hogs scaled the fence by night