davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

The editor OF the Vicksburg Herald spent
$500 on fair, hoping to get the prize of
$1,000 in gold, and he drew a brass chain and
a photograph of George Washington. The
world has no further pleasures for him.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

| am weary of life-bury me deep on the
hillside" wrote a young man in Dubuque, who
had taken a dose Of laudanum but thsv
pumped him out, and that same night he went
to the circus and laughed till he cried at the
antics Of the trick mules.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

A certain farmer, having company at dinner,
was ambitious to make it appear that he was
somebody. Addressing his boy he said:
" Have you driven those sheep imp Yes
sir: Are you sure you drove them all in ?''
Yes sir; L saw him jump over the bars"
He had but one.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

A noted horse jockey "down east" was
awakened one night by violent thunder
storm. Being somewhat timid he woke his
wife With "Wife wife do you suppose the
Day of Judgment has Gomez" "Shut up,
you fool! was the affectiOnate reply; how
can the Day of Judgment come in the nirht2n
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

A farmer reading journal to his wife in
which was the sentence 1.-The President was
received with three huzEas," pronounced the
last word "hussies. More shame for him."
exclaimed the indignant and scandalzed lady.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

What do you sell those fowls for?" in.
qured person Of a man attempting to dispose
of some chickens of questionable appearance.
=" | sell them for profits" was the answer.
Thank you for the information that they are
prophets" responded the querist Il took
them to be patriarchs"
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

An undecided fellow courted a lady for
tweOty-eight years, and thea married her.
She turned out a perfect virago, but died in
two years after the wedding. Now" said
he, in self fcongratulating tene, "see what I
have escaped by long courtship."
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

The Missouri HdrrisOnian advsrtises four
hundred aud twenty cow bells for sale, and ex-
plains that it took them from hard ware man
in payment for job work.
1t is stated that new weekly paper, called
the Jim and Elidza Journal, has been started
in Mississippi. Jim and Eliza are supposed
TO be the editor and his wife.
Game to his death while being hit on the
head with long handled stewpSR IN the hands
of his wife" was the verdict in = recent case
in Illinois.
"Closed in consequence Of debt in the
family" is the communicative announcement
on the door Of q fugitive tradesman in a neigh
boring city.
Why is coal the most contradictory article
known to commerce? Because, when pur.
chased, instead Of going to the buyer, it gOes
to the cellar.
In pOckst.piekinE, az in everything else, a
msn never succeeds until he gets his hand in.
IF you want to make hustle in the world,
take Eve newspapers and piece of tape.
Whyisa hog good mathematician Be-
cause he 10 good on square root
Never kick man when he is down, unless
ysu are sure he cant get up.
If you wish to hear anything further from
the Fir0inius drop her a line.
Why is woodchuck like sausage7 Be.
cause it's ground hog.
What State is round on both ends and high
ia the middleH Ohio.
Why is thunderstorm like an onion Be.
cause it is peal on peal.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

News is scarce in Minnesota. In the effort
to present something fresh, = Lanesboro paper
has found it necessary to publish the Ten Com
mandmsnts, under an excuse of "a gentle
reminder now and then"
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

A bachelor says if you hand lady q news.
paper with paragraph cus out of it, not q
line of it will be read, but every bit of in
terest felt in the paper by the lady will center
in finding out what the missing paragraph con-
tanned.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

Rev Gent" But you really can have no
serious reason to wish to be parted from your
wife" Rustic" Well, no, Sir. like my
wife we'll enough, but, you see, she don't
please mother"
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

An enthusiast was turned out of the gallery
of Memphis theater, the other night, for en-
couraging the antics Of Miss Lydia Thompson
with the delighted exclamatious of Bully for
you, oldtOw-tOp! Good lordy, look at her
kick u
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

Could anything be neater than the old
darkey reply to beautiful young lady whom
he offered to lift over the gutter, and who in.
sisted that she was too heavy? "Lor, missus.'
said he, Use used to lifting barrels OF
sugar"
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

A few days since boy was passing through
the cars on the Erie railroad handing out ad-
vsrtisements of Nothing to Wear illustra-
ted. A lady remarked to gentleman, This
takes off the ladies, l suppose. "No," re-
piled her friend, it only takes off their dres-
ses." Then. replied the lady, =" it is prop
er that Q Striphn0 should sell il"
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04
THINE OWN.

What are others faults to met
I've not a Vulture's bill.
To peck at every naw | see,
Aud make It wider still.
Itis enough for Ine to know
I've :Ollies OF any own,
And on my heart the care bsstow,
And let my friends alone
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

1t is curious fact that although the rain
keeps thousands away from church on Sunday,
it does not deter single man from attending
to business on week days.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

The wicksdest boy in the West is now re-
ported in Ohio, where he cut OF three Of his
toes in order that he might not receive the
benefits of the Sunday school instruction.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04
MiSceIIU ~ e o u S.
The Siamese Twins.

Interesting Resume of the Public and PiUote
Life and Social Relations Of Chang
aAd Eng.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

have had a conversation with Mr.. r. S. Gilmer,
the twins and their families and from him
obtained quite a number of facts connected
with their history yet unpublished.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

The Missouri Harrisoniaa advsrtises four
hundred aud twenty COW bells for sale, and sx-
plains that it took them from hard ware man
in payment for job work.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04
TEMPERs OF THE TWINS.

Whether the same blood circulated through
the veins of both or not it is certain they were
different in temperament and disposition
Eng was mild, amiable, gentle in his disposi-
ton and pleasing in his manners. Chang was
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

1t is stated that a new weekly paper, called
the Jim and EIidzd Journal, has been started
in Mississippi. Jim and Eliza are supposed
TO be the editor and his wife.
Smyrna times., 1874-02-04

MOUNT AIRY, Surrey County, N. G., |
Ianu.rv d 1874
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
Forty Thousand People Ready to Re-
turn 10 England"

Never since the days Of Hebrew emigra-
ton from Egypt has any considerable num-
Der Of people left their country without at
If the average immigrant is worth thou
sand dollars to the country of his adoption
ms is claimed, II is fair TO presume that his
absence will be loss to something about
the same extent TO the country he has left
There is cause, then, for jealousy and regret
Mt the exhibition of nm extensive emigration.
Yet it looks like the very height of folly
TO resist these movements. People never
will leave their native shores and family
hcarthstoncs, voluntarily, without good
cause, and where the motive exists IL is use
less to resist the movement. People come
over TO the United States to better their con-
dition. and they will continue TO come in
spite Of all opposition so long rs America
affords better prospect than Europe.
1t is said that the rural districts of En-
gland are now placarded with large posters
informing the people that there are &C, 900
Englishmen in the United States anxious to
return TO that country and cautioning in
tending emigrants against going 20 the Unit
ed States. This deception is made all the
more effective by the printed statement on
the posters that the intelligence comes from
Mr.. Archibald, the British consul ut New
York
Mr.. Archibald was called upon in refer
cnce TO the statement few days ago, and
he unequivocally denied having made any
such statement remarking that no does not
believe there are four hundred Englishmen
in New York who would return to England
if they had their passage paid for them. lie
authorized an unconditional donial of the
statement. His clerks were questioned by
the consul, and they assured him that no in
timation of the kind originated with them,
or with any one of whom they have any
knowledge.
1t was simply dodge 10 deceive intending
cmigrnnts, but it will he found out and ulti-
mately act rs an incentive TO increased omi-
grafton. The constant correspondence be-
tween families already divided by emigra-
ton is always n source of correct informa-
ton on tho relative comforts of life in Eu-
rope and in the United States, and while
cheap ocean postage is continued mammoth
| posters and ingenious cdndrdS can have
very little effect in staying the tide OF volun-
| tary emigrntion.-Er.
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
CANADIAN TRANSPORTATION.

The question of cheap freight. which has
produced so much noise, occupied the Ittrn-
tcntion of II learned congressional committee
for many months, and been the prolific pa
rent of more political humbug than any 9th
er one subject that has attracted Iublic SEN
timent for II long while. has. now crossed the
border and is puZzing the wise heads of the
Dominion Parliament. The shape taken in
Canada Is the introduction of u hill for the
incorporation ofthe International Transports
ton Company, with u capital of five million
dollars. The design of this company Is to
organize greater facilities for uniting the
trade of the Western states and Canada by
an outlet to the ocean through the river ST.
Lawrence, and to the markets of New En-
gland by water to Burlnton, VT, and thence
by rail TO places desired. This project is not
one that tho people of the New England
states can afford to look upon with perfect
indifference. The rivalry between Boston
and New York, for the commerce of the
West, is of little Importance compared with
the increased facilities of this Canadian line
TO the consumers of Western grain in the
manufacturing towns of Massachusetts, Yer
mont and New Hampshire.
1t is claimed that twelve days time and
thirty per cent. freight charges can be saved
by shipping goods from the West by way of
Montreal over the time and cost by the Eria
canal. The new facilities for transportation
proposed by the International Transports
| ton Company arc tho enlarging Of the cil,
! mails, the establishment of swift lines of pro-
! pelors on the lakes, and ultimately the cut
! ting ola canal forty miles long from Georgian
| Bay on Lake Huron through Lake Simcoe u
| Ontario This would save the long detOul
| through Lake Erie. The transportation line,
between the East and the West are limitcC
now, so that they cannot be made TO serve
the purposes of trades and 1t is apparent that
| in the immediate future, new measures mus
| be adopted to do the rapidly increasing bust
ness, and this Canadian route certainly looks
more feasible than pneumatic tubes or rail
roads under direct control of the state or M
! ton Rutland Herald .1..
The above looks like sound doctrine
Wherever we can have water communication
at reasonable cost, by all means lot u
have it. We pay much more for the trans
portation Of the Western grain which we u.s.
than we do for its production, and more TO
transportation, Of course when carried b,
rail than when carried by water. Accord
ing to the recent report Of the senate com
mttee on transportation the average cost 0
carrying wheat from Chicago to New YorI
by water for the last six years has bee
900 cents per bushel, tho average cost fror
point of production, in states west of Lii
nOis, to Chicago, is about 20 cents per bush
Of, or Al cents from point Of production vi
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A colored man in Georgia who killed a
foolish youth, dressed in u sheet, playing
ghost, has been tried and acquitted.
There are 81 Grand and about 5000 subor-
dinate lodges of Good Templars, with .
membership of nearly 100000.
Tho most atrocious social joke of the sea-
son is the marriage of Asahel Mix, of Bris-
toll, Conn, 80 years old, and Belle Landon,
II.
At n temperance meeting in South Bend,
Ind, last Sunday Mr.. Schuyler Colfax drop
ped into prophecy ms follows; II am now
on the shady side of lffll century, but cx-
poet to see the time when there will not be a
dram-shop in this land, can't tell just
how they will be abolished, no more than
could tell 20 years ago how slavery would
be ended. But the day will come when
temperance shall prevail and liquor saloons
be thing of the past.n
A visitor TO the young ladies' seminary at
Hartford, Conn, some months ago, who had
found his wife--a graduate of tho institution
about perfect in everything but bread
making, offered prizes, from 50 to So, for
the best bread made by the pupils. Tho con-
test camo OIL last week Wednesday, Mss
Mamie Fitzgerald getting the first prize for
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.

Editor Of The Vermont Farmer
While we have had presented to us
through the press during tho last few weeks
n long array Of names of gentlemen who, in
the opinions of those who brought them for.
ward at least, would reflect honor upon
themselves and the state as governor we
have not perhaps had an equal complement
of names for lieutenant governor, an Office
very little if any Of less Importance than the
first in the gift of the people. With your
permission | will name my man for that
Office. II is Quarter-master General VIM.
w. Lynde, of Marlboro, in old Windham /;
man of the people and in full sympathy
with all their interests patriotic defender
Of his country's flag in the late war for the
Union an efficient and faithful officer
among his men, and always in the full con-
idence Of his superiors in the army, a gilt
much to be desired, and which greatly tend
ed to augment the happiness and usefulness
Of army life as many can testify who passed
through similar experiences. Obliged on
account Of failing health to retire from the
service ere the final winding up Of the re.
belliOn, he under the recuperating influences
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
The Appointment of Judges.

If any reform in the matter of Judges for
our leading agricultural exhibitions is to be
inauguratod during the present season, the
plans proposed should be we'll considered
now that the several societies are about
making mp their premium lists and pro-
grammes for the fall exhibitions. We un-
derstand that the New York State Agricul-
tural Society-the leading society of its kind
in the United States, and ono more nearly
approaching the Royal Agricultural Society
of England than any we have-has for SOW
oral years carried out the plan. of hiring cx-
pert judges in the several leading classes of
their exhibitions. and the plan has so far
worked admirably and is not likely to be
abandoned for tho old method. In the live
stock department two gentlemen make n
committee who give their decisions indie
pendent of each other. and if they fail in II
single instance in being unanimous upon any
animal, third party is called upon to de-
eide between the two animals about which
there is n divided judgment. We have been
told by wcll-iniormcd gentlemen that this
does not often occur, such difference being
decided by the original committee, who in
by far the largest number of instances award
the same class of premiums to the same ami
mails, the unity of Independent judgment be-
ing in many eases very striking. Let the
matter TO which we have called attention be
well considered by the trustees of the-several
agricultural societies. -Mdine Farmer.
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
AGRICULTURAL ITEMS.

The following is report of Mr.. o. d.
BaldwIn's cheese factory, at Starksboro for
the year 1873: Amount of milk received
62i, 1856 lbs. amount of cheese made. Ga, $50
lbs. amount of milk used for l lb. cheese,
9.G7 lbs average price of cheese at the fac
tory, l3c; average price net of 100 lbs. milk,
Sill.
j. w. & j. IL. Dimick, of lIardwick, have
some fine specimens of Cotswold sheep and
lambs-3-blood. They own nine sheep in all
that average lit lbs of wool mt shearing the
two heaviest ileeces weighing liI lbs. each.
Two lambs-two months Outweigh respec-
lively 40 and AZ lbs; one two-years-old eve
weighed previous to shearing 2l2 lbs sew
oral moro nearly rs large.
The injury to crops in Louisiana by the
floods is not so great rs was supposed. Much
of the cotton and cane crop which was sup
posed 10 have been killed is found to be but
slightly injured, and tho planters. encour-
aged by the help which has been extended
them from the North, are going to make the
best of it. Many of their homes, cattle, and
tools arc gone, hut tho sediment deposited
on the fields it is thought will enrich them
so that increased crops next year will result.
Some time ago n number of horses died in
Nordheim, Germany, from Inflammation OF
the intestines, tho true cause not at first being
known. At last it was assigned to the hay,
in which, upon close examination, an inn
mense number of microscopic animalcule
were found. They belong to the genus acarus
fnnarius, TO which genus mites living on dry
fruit and in cheese also belong. In times OF
horse disease it might. therefore, be proper
to microscopically examine hay and straw,
since even tho best fodder, if stored in damp
place, is very likely to be infested by those
and other parasites.
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29
TTutertoIUm CattIe Market.
TUESDAY, Nav q


At market this week Cattle 1863, Sheep
and Lambs 739. Number from Vermont,
Cattle 81, Sheep and Lambs 70, Calves 1868.
Prices Market Bcef-A few choice o so to
1000; extra rs TO 81 IS; first quality 81 rs to
so; second quality 90 to 25; third quail
ity 50 25 to 70.
Prices of Store Cattle--Working Oxen pr
pair from 800, $50, It's to $50.
Mich Cows and Calves from S35 to 65
extra 81 to 80. FaTow Cows 25 to 80.
Gearlings $40 TO 10; two years old 90 to
%; three years old 30 to 10.
Prices of Sheep and Lambs-in lots so,
90 80 to IS EACH extra 6 90 to IS
per head, or from to Ole pr Id. A few
fancy sheep ut % to Zoe per Id.
Veal calves $3.50 to 900.
Prices of Hides, Tallow and Skins-Bright-
ton Hides u to &c pr lib; Country Hides &c
to 7dc pr Id. Brighton Tallow sc pr Id;
Country Tallow 44c pr ID.
Wool skins $3.50 to 3 each. Lamb skins
SOC each. Sheared skins 35c each. Dairy
skins 75c each. Calf skins 10 to Ice per Id.
CLASSIFICATION OF CATTLE AND SHEEP.
N. b. Beef-Choice grade includes moth
ing but stall fed 100 to 400 lbs Bullocks
Extra and first quality includes the best,
large, fat Oxen. Second and third quality
includes Oxen and two and three year old
Steers.
DllctI-ENlTit lllClUtltS COSSclS, anu WHtn
those of inferior quality are thrown out.
REMARKS.
Cattle. Supplies of beef cattle from the
North nomnally nothing. Arrivals consist
chiefly of milch cows, with n few slim steers
intended for stores hut were bought by
butcher either to sell again or slaughter
George Baldwin had n yard of good dressing
cattle. S. +. Woodbridge had two car loads
of Western steers from Brighton landing and
driven here for disposal. The market is quiet
ON cattle and prices steady. H. NJ. Mix sold
II steers, average 800 lbs, ut ste live. S.
+. Woodbridge sold steers, average 1850
lbs, ut &c live, and Is other steers TO other
parties ut same price. b. Dow sold oxen,
to dress 1900 lbs. each, Mt Zoe per h., ID. W.
Sheep. The largest lot was owned by G..
w. Sawyer, butcher, and bought mt South
Charlcstown, n. H., the latter part of last
week. Several lots were of ordinary grade,
not exactly relshed by butchers. The sheep
Shearing business will soon be over, and the
Northern supply increased. We give prices
substantially the same rs last week. n. +.
Rice sold l43 sheared yearlings. aver. 65 lbs,
for $40 the lot. j. X. Hooper sold lot of
wool sheep, average 90 lbs, ut Dc per lb. II.
NJ. Mix sold wool sheep, average 1855 lbs,
(mostly bucks) ut SC per H.
Poultry. Nearly ton of live poultry
found its way to market this morning, mostly
turkeys and chickens, handled by D. Il. Tay-
lor and Atwood & Bisscll, which are in fair
demand ut quotations. We quote extra
chickens lG3c per h.; fair lots l6lc; turkeys
be
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29

white bread and Miss Annie Fitzgerald Tor
brown. A prize OF $40 has now been offer
cd to the young lady who shall cut, make
and do up mans shirt in the best manner.
The present drain Of gold to Europe is for
the benefit of the bank of France, which Is
getting ready so sharply to resume specie
payments. II has found its opportunity in
the present depression Of business and uni
vorsal cheapness of money, rs also in our
American Indifference TO our equally press
ing duties. Thus, It has the last six months
reduced the paper money of France 30 mill
ions of dollars and increased its specie re-
serve by 20 millions. How these facts
shame our American Indifference and neg
lectl
Tho dcadlest thing that has been done
lately by the "intelligcnt composition" was
his attempt to give lucidity to lecture de-
livored in Philadelphia by Professor Smith.
The professor, in his discourse. urged that
"Filtration Is sometimes assisted by the use
of albumcn;" but the compostor got tho re-
mark into shape in this runous fashion
"Flirtaton is sometimes arrested by the use
of aldermen" A figure bearing singularly
close resemblance to Professor Smith has
been lowering around that newspaper Office
ut night lately with solemn locking shot
gun; but the composition has gone west in
search of fresh victims.
Henry Ward Beecher talks in this free and
easy way of the Pope: 81 have great
many friends in Rome, the Pope among
them. lie never came TO see me, but
would just ms lief go and see him rs not
lie would hardly say was orthodox, but
really believe he is orthodox. l would or
tain him TO preach, and would let him
preach here if he asked nc. really be-
licvo the old man is good man, with some
cobwcbs in his head, but they will be brush.
cd away before long; we all have got them
in some way or another, and whatever there
is in him that is pure and true and right
makes him my brother.
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29

The wisdom of the National Grange hav-
ing fund on hand is seen in the fact that
they promptly sent $1,000 to the State
Grange of Louisiana, to be used for the re-
lief of the sufferers by the floods, and the
executive committee have sent circulars to
the members of the National Grange asking
them to sanction the sending Of one or two
thousand more. We have known of trades
unions helping members in distress, but it is
something new to see farmers in position
thus to extend aid to the needy of their call
ing; cooperation can accomplish something
among farmers, as well as in other occupa.
tions.
Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-29

The American Farmers AdUocate has
moved its Office once more, and now halls
from Indianapolis, Ind. 1t comes out with
seven or eight pages of anti.grange matter
which will do much good in its way. The
man who has no enemies is never positive
ly good man; he is negative in his char
acter, while he who does active service for
the right must stand in the front and take
the brunt Of the battle-and the same is
true of an institution. The fact that they
meet with strong opposition augurs well fol-
the Patrons. 1t shows that their effects are
being felt. But while the order congrat.
ulatcs itself on having power AMI influence
we are sure it is composed of material which
will keep sharp lookout for corruption
within the order as well as elsewhere, and
il rogues get in, as they will occasionally,
they will be dealt with as promptly as was
the Boston Grange. From our enemies We
learn our faults, and he is wise who, learn,
ing, corrects them.