Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1874-05-16

Don't marry a man whom nobody
ever says an evil of. Be sure that he
is a poor creature.
Don't marry a man who doesn't
smoke, and who prides himself upon
it.
Don't marry a man who has great
admiration for DR.. johnson. He is
sure to be a bear.
Don't marry a man who invents
things. Invention is the offspring of
necessity.
Don't marry a good-natured man.
Good nature is to a man what the
gilt leafI naughty boys sometims a
dorm a sparrow with, is to that un-
happy bird. All the other sparrows
get round him and peck at him.
Dan't marry "drawing-room" man.
The man who spends his daysiin pay
ing visits, gossipping, talking scan
dal, and telling all the newest stories.
Everybody likes him, for there is no
evil or ridiculous thing your neigh
Dor has done that he doesn't know
Everybody fears him, for each word
| that falls from your mouth Will be re-
/ tailed byhim in the next house he
! goes to, not NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. and
| additions. There is no more contemp-
tible creature on Gods earth; and
ninemen out of every ten you meet
in large city belong to the type.
Don't marry q man who dimes out a
| great deal Diners-out are like cats;
they get attached to the places where
they are well fed, but never to the
people.
Don't marry a man who can neith-
er ride, shoot, hunt, fish, row, play
cricket, nor do anything manly.
Don't marry man who wears an
eyeglass, or tight boots with high
| heels, who curls his hair or his mus
taches, who puts. scent in his whis-
kers or bleaches his eyelids, who lisps
or tries to conceal his twang or his
brogue, or whatever his accent may
be, who has his finger-nails long and
pointed, carefully cut in an almond
| shape. who wears four-buttoned
| gloves, takes six and three-quarters,
and tells you so, who, If he be dark,
wears q red cravat, if he be fair, a
| sky-blue one-there is no surer indi-
cation of q mans character than his
neck-tIe; always look at that first
who has enameled visiting cards and
brilliant monogram, and who al
ways wears a rosebud lin his button
hole.
| Don't marry man who keeps bull
dogs. He is sure to be like them.
Don't marry a man who sings Chris
! tie Minstrel songs, does coniuring
tricks, or otherwise makes a bufOon
of himself.
Don't marry a man who is fond of
pastry, nOugat, mdrrORS g(dceS, and
other sweetmeats.
| Don't marry a man who despises
tea. He viii never make q domestic
character.
Don't marry a man who waltzes re-
| markably well. He thinks himself
| thereby dispensed from possessing
any of the other cardinal virtues.
For the same reason, don't marry
man who leads cotillions.
Don't marry man who hangs a
bout the door of ballroom, till the
most fashionable woman expected ar
riyes, and then attaches himself to
her like a burr for the rest of the eve
ming.
Don't marry a man who is first
cousin to every distinguished or titled
person that you mention; and who is
on intimate terms with all the artist
ocracy of Europe.
Don't marry a man who drives a
four-in-hand or a tandem. He is near
ly always a nlGurais Sujet.
| Don't marry a man who tells Won
derful stories, of which he is always
the hero, and in which he always dis
tinguishes himself by extraordinary
wit, or sagacity, or courage, or pres
ence Of mind-these qualities not be-
ing, as a rule, conspicuous in him.
Don't marry man, whatever his
other virtues may be, who wears
small hat on the Champs-Elysees and
a tai. hat at watering-places.
Don't marry a man at whom you
have once seen ss fashionable female
friend of yours elevate her eyeglass
and one eyebrow.
Don't marry man who laughs at
the end of every sentence he utters,
as much as to say, Il know that /
have lust said something very silly.
but pray forgive me, I have done my
best"
, Don't marry q man who never
laughs, but only grins or chuckles.
Don't marry a man who has a great
many sisters. Such a man is always
sDoifed; besides which it is not pleas
ant to be engaged to man who knows
all about your false hair, and how
much your dress cost a yard. No
woman can ever be an ideal divinity
to q man who has whole squadron of
: sisters.
, Don't marry a man who says every
! woman ought to know how to cook.
> Don't marry man who is fond of
sightseeing, unless you are so too,
! in which case l give you both up as a
: bad Job. 1t is the lowest taste OF
humanity.
Don't marry a man who Is constant
: ly travelling, GOod-natured friends
/ will say he does it to get away from
4 you.
: Don't marry a man who never tray
4 els. 1t woIld not be good for you to
2 be always meeting in society men
! who are brighter-witted, better in
/ formed and more entertaining than
D your own husband.
= Don't marry a man who, when YOU
: have 4 blue dress on, says he thinks
pink much more becoming 10 you,
! and rice Uersa; and who, at midsum-
e mer, when you fancy you have sue.
t ceeded in making your complexion
= perfectly snowy and blemishIess-by
5 dint of a iudicious combination Oi
!, VOlOutine Fay and white tulle wells
. with black spots in them-remarks
u that it is astonishing how sunburnt
r you have been getting. That MAJ
k likes to make people unhappy.
n A word in your ear, though 1 might
:. Just as we'll hold my tongue for al
: the good it will do you, don't marry
q a prince, or the fifth son of an Englisl
e peer, or any one but one of your owl
n eountrymen.
Don't marry man who stops YOU
I mouth with compliments, makes des
! perate love to you the first time b.
S sees YOU, and talks about kissing
+ That man thinks women are fools
" but he is mistaken.
b Don't marry man under forty
d BE has not yet found out that ever,
II woman he meets is not madly in Low
is with him. He has not yet found ou
It that he is not the center of everything
rs that he is not an admirable CrichtoI
It an ;irresistable Don Juan an Adoni
q or a Count d'Orsay, or a President o
" Prime Notwithstanding to Nation
/ alitv-stil in the side-sceIfas II