The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1874-09-02

Why is IN alarm of FIRE in the
night like q clothes brush? Be-
cause it spoils the nap.
This is the rock Of ages" said
the father, rocking two hours and
the baby still awake.
What is that which is neither
flesh nor bone, yet has four fingers
and . thumbi A glove.
Z The music of nature now heard
at midnight is more pleasant when
divided by bars-mosquito bars.
The lady who made dash has
since brought her husband to . full
stop. 6 80 z,5,5xa IL
sas Sunday school teacher-''Anna,
what must one do in order to be
forgiven!" Anna-"He must sin!"
q. What is the difference between
nm overcoat and q baby? One is
what you wear, and the other is
what you was. a
Oliver Wendell Holmes calls
kiss q kissing consonant. He
should have added, also, that it us
ually follows a-vowal
Lots wife wouldn't have looked
back, but q woman with anew
dress passed her, and she wanted
to see if the back breadth was ruff
fed. s a-" I'.
A Kansas girl wouldn't be mar
ried without a yellow ribon around
her waist, and . boy rode eight
miles to get it while the guests
waited. sca4
"A Kentucky farmer says that
three good bull dogs roaming the
yard nights will do more to keep q
man honest than all the talking in
the world. ef ~ 90 70 .'a-
H. NJ. Burnside committed sui
eide at Farland, Ind, Friday
morning by hanging himself dur
ing a temporary TT of insanity. He
was a brother of General A. E.
Burnside.
Never run in debt when you can
avoid it. It is much better to go
'stubbing aroud in a broad cloth
coat than to be in debt for SUIT of
Scotch mixed. rro rg.y
"What becomes of dogs when
they diet" WAS what q juvinile in
Boston asked his pa. ''They go to
the happy land of canine" his pa
rent quickly replied. P1 tt#
A minister once prayed: ooh
Lord, we thank Thee for the goodly
number here tonight, and that
Thou also art here, notwithstand-
ing the inclemency of the weather"
= A correspondent wants to know
our opinion concerning the dispo-
sition of the dead. As for as we
are acquainted with them, the dead
appear to be Of a quiet disposition.
30 Lord" prayed a Methodist
minister, ''keep me humble and
peor!" 20 Lord if Thou wilt keep
him humble, said the deacon who
next prayed, 1--WE will see to it that
he is kept poor sf ~ @
~ The Lowell journal feels con-
strained to remark: IF our ex-
changes don't quit saying He that
is without sin let him cast the first
stone, blamed if we don't heave
one in among them before long"
la II tell YOU" said a Wisconsin
man to q neighbor next day after
burying his wife, "when l came to
get into bed and lay thar, and not
hearing Lucinda jawing around TO,
an hour and a half, it made me fee
as if I'd just moved into strange
country"
! Willie White, a boy IL years old
living near Indianapolis, took q col,
, to water. tying the halter around
! his wrist. The animal became
, scared, and ran three times across
a ten acre field, and then into thu
4 yard, where he broke loose. Th'
boy was picked up in q fearful,
mangled condition, and quite dead
At Woodford. VT, q farmer ha,
, put up the following notice in hi
| field: '1If any mans or womans cow
! or oxen gets in these here oats, hi
. or her tail will be cut off, as th'
case may be. I am q christian maj
, and pay me taxes; but blast ma,
who lets his critters run loose
, say L" ID aa! 5m
! % 81 would marry you, Jacob,
! said lady to an unfortunate lover
"were it not for three reasons.
"Oh, tell me- he cried imporingly
, "what they are. that Imay remov
them" 'sThe FIRST is,' said she, g
don't love you; the second is,
don't want to love you; AMI tn
= third is, I couldn't love you if
|, wanted to-
Remember the poor. If yo1
know of a family who are out Q
q provisions and fuel, keep them il
q your thoughts until YOU NEE
Smith or Brown, and then tel
). them that they had better make
9 donation. If they hold off, te
them that that giveth to tn
!, poor lendeth to the Lord" It
very easy to remember the poor.
can remember cases twenty year
q ago.
A A teacher wishing to improve til
;. occasion, said to the boys, at tn
It conclusion of the strawberry fest