davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Napoleon and Josephine.

A lady correspondent discusses in the
February LippincOk the relations of
Josephine and Napoleon. She thinks
that Josephine will be immortal in the
hearts of women by the triple appeal
OF moral excellence, intense suffering,
and heroic submission to her fate. She
married Bonaparte in 1896, being then
thirty-three years old and he twenty
seven. The marriage was fortunate
one for him, as his own words testify.
"The circumstance of my marriage
with Madame de Beauharnais, he says,
"placed me on a proper footing with
the party necessary to my plan of fusion,
one of the first principles of my admin
istration. Without my wife L should
never have established any natural re-
lation with that class" Another dec
laration of his agrees perfectly with this
idea: 81 win only battles--Josephine
wins me all hearts"
1t was a proud boast of Josephine
that she never kept any. one waiting half
minute where punctuality depended
upon herself but this quality of re-
fined breeding was signally wanting in
Napoleon. When the established hour
for dinner at Malmaison was six clock,
and, though etiquette forbade anyone to
approach the table before the announce
ment of the head of the house, he often
failed to appear before seven, eight, or
even ten o'clock. A chicken or some
other article was placed on the spit
every fifteen minutes, 10y order of the
cook, who knew we'll the habits of the
Emperor. The table manners of Ma
poleon may have been those of the hero;
they were certainly anything but those
of the gentleman. He completed the
process of cramming-it could scarcely
be called eating-in six or seven min
utes as a rule. Ignoring the use of
knives and forks as regarded his own
plate, he did not stop there, but "helped
himself with his fingers from the dishes
nearest him, and dipped his bread in
the gravy" Knowing the time neces-
sary fort the Emperor to dine, the shrewder
ones took care to dine in advance. Jo-
sephene once confessed this at the din
ner table, much to the amusement of
the Emperor. The Empress always
quilted the table with Napoleon, but,
with her never-failing consideration fol
the comfort of others, she commanded
the rest, by a gesture, as she rose, tc
| remain.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Measuring Lightning.

An article in a recent number of Old
and NeaO tells us how wise men measure
a flash of lightning, but the process is
hard to describe and would take too
long. Suffice it to say that the length
of flash of lightning is generally great
ly underestimate.
The largest known was measured by
NJ. L. Petit, at Toulouse. The flash
was ten and half miles long. Arago
once measured a series, which averaged
from seven to eight miles in length.
The longest interval ever remarked be-
tween flash and the report was seven
ty-two seconds, which would correspond
with distance of fourteen miles. Di-
rect researches have shown that q
storm is seldom heard at greater dis
lance than ten miles, and generally no
more than five miles. This seems
strange, since the report OF cannon can
be heard fifteen and sometimes twenty
miles.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
A Dignifled Man and POstOfIice Clerk.

The human heart, in all its expansi ye,
limitless capacity for enjoyment, takes
greater pleasure in nothing more than
witnessing portly, solemn visaged
man, the embodiment of natural digni-
ty, importance in clothes, administer
scathing rebuke TO some smart" petty
official. This morning just such per-
sonification of innate dignity doomed up
at the stamp window of the post Office,
and glared in gloomy and majestic dis
pleasure at the busy clerk registering a
letter before he sprang to the window
and asked the stately customer what he
wished. The great man did not answer
for several moments. He gazed steadi-
ly and impressively over the clerk s
head, and then asked, in ponderous
tones
Is there any one hear-r-r-e-who at
tends to business?"
The embarrassed clerk blushed, fall
tered for moment, then, recovering
himself, said, with characteristic and
national cheerfulness, becoming an Of
fetal of the Republic:
81 will see, sir.
And he disappeared. He went into
the other departments, tortured a car
rier with an original conundrum, and
heard good story in the mailing-room,
and then came back.
eyes, sir" he replied to the great
one, "there are, in addition TO myself,
three clerks in the letter department,
one in the maiing-room, four carriers,
three route agents, the mail-driver, and
"A janitor.
"Ah-h-h am glad there are so
many. L may in all that number find
one who is at his post"
And then he looked as impressive as a
special agent, and was silent for some min
utes, while the impassive clerk awaited
his orders, and impatient men behind
him fidgeted and grumbled. Finally
the great man said, with deep solemn
ty:
Z" wish one three-cent stamp"
The clerl; tore off the stamp and held
it, waiting for the consideration. The
great man made a somewhat longer
pause than usual, he felt in his various
vest pockets, he gradually lost his look
of impressive rebuke, his chest caved
in, and he assumed the aspect of an or
binary frail mortal, and he said
"Ah-the fact is-Tm sure-ah-in
short, l find that / have carelessly left
my purse at home-can you kindly"
The impressive clerk, with the faintest
suggestion of triumph in his eye, waved
the great man aside with :
Sorry for you, sir, but the clerk who
sells on credit is not in. What does the
next man want ?"
And we felt so good to see how thai
clerk was taken down by the dignifieC
man that we went away and laughed fol
o week. Peoria ReUieU.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
A Novel Cure For Rheumatism.

An Englishman with rheumatic govt
found this singular remedy cure for
his ailment He insulated his bed
stead from the floor, by placing under
meath each post a broken-off bottom of
a glass bottle. He says the effect was
magical, that he had not been free from
rheumatic govt for - years, and that he
began to improve Immediately after the
application of the insulators. We are
reminded by this statement, says the
Scientific american, of a patent OBJ
tanned through this Office for physi-
clan some twelve or more years age,
which created considerable interest at
the time. The patent consisted in plac-
ing glass cups under the bed-posts i'll a
similar manner to the above, and the
patentee claimed to have effected some
remarkable cures by the use of his glass
insulators.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
The Aunt.

An aunt is not to be found on every
bush. The ignorant may perhaps sup
pose that the quality of suntness inheres
in every sister of a parent. In form,
possibly but in substance, not neces-
sarily by any means. An aunt is be-
ing who can only exist for children.
Grown persons cannot unless they are
childlike) have real aunts. For those
who can, the aunt is delightful person
age who has all the merits of a mother,
but in more exalted degree, and none
of those defects of harshness, discipline,
infection, peremptoriness, and the like,
that so often and sadly mar the natural
sweetness of the filio-parental relation.
The aunt, you see, can permit, but can.
not forbid. She is beatified mother.
And any person claiming to be an aunt,
and falling short of these attainments,
is an impostor. old and Nev.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Clothing for Neck.

The good sense of the following is ap.
parent, and it comes to us from high
authority:
The clothing about the neck should
be very moderate in quantity, and
so loose as to prevent the slightest com
preston. The great errors frequently
committed in wearing such an amount
as to overhead and weaken the throat,
and thus render it easily susceptible to
cold, or in wearing it so tight as to re-
tard the circulation of the blood to and
from the head. Great care should be
exercised upon this point, as the ar.
teries and veins leading from the heart
TO the brain are situated near the sur
face in the neck that slight compress.
sion there serves to check the flow OF
the blood.
Many cases of congestion of the brain
and headache are partially or wholly
caused by too tight collars and cravats
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Rude Dentistry.

A humorous description is given of
Japanese dentistry. The dental pro-
lessor of Japan does not sit in an office
ornamented with dread-inspiring in
struments of polished steel, waiting for
the unfortunate whom his single on
the outer walls invite to cross into the
parlor. He travele around with brass
ornamented box, in which are some lit
tie mallets and wedges. And the way
in which he performs the functions of
his craft is very simple, more simple
than the civilized way, perhaps, but
more severe. He drives his wedges in
between tooth and gum, forcing them
down with his mallet, until the tooth is
loosened sufficiently to be taken out by
the fingers. Sometimes jaw is brok-
en-, and sometimes the patient dies.
We think we would be almost willing to
die
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Pith and Point.

STRANGE bed-clothes-Three sheets in
the wind.
A BOARDING ESTABLISHMENT car
penter' shop.
SOMETHING likely to end in smoke
The report of gun.
CANINE.-A doctor calls his dog Chin
chona on account of the bitterness of his
bark.
ANATTEsTED FAcT.-A man who would
try to stab ghost would stick at moth
ing.
A BACKwooDsMAN, describing steam
boat, said cit has a sawmill on the
one side, gristmill on the other, and
blacksmith's shop in the middle, and
down stairs there's tarnation big pot
boiling all the while"
A GENTLEMAN whose crest was boot
and spur, and who had had it painted
on his carriage, one day saw two boys
carefully examining the adornment.
One boy said, 81 wonder why they
have painted that on the carriage?"
81 dare say" replied the other, "be-
cause he's a shoemaker.
A SLAB above grave in Arkansas
bears the following legend, evidently
the tribute of devoted but discrimi
mating husband
"She washed the children,
Fed the fowls,
And made her home
Resound with howls."
THOSE old soakers never lack for ar
guments. Lately one replied to tenn
perance lecturer by the following of
water rots the soles of your boots, what
effect must it have on the coat of your
stomach ?"
A SCoTCHMAN thus recently addressed
his daughter Fats this hear yere
gaun to dee, JEANNE ?"
"Weel, I'm just gaun to marry that
farm over by there, and live wi the bit
mamie ont"
"YoU ought to let me pass free of
charge, considering the benevolent ma
ture of my profession, said physician
to toll-gate keeper. "Not So" was
the reply "you send too many dead
heads through here now"
quired bootblack in Detroit of q sol
emn-faced lad, who returned with his
kit after two-days' absence. Yes,
she is, said the mourner, Strengthening
up and dad did the fair thing by her
seven more hacks than Mrs. O'Grady
had the other day."
"How do you pass your evenings ?"
inquired one dry goods man of another.
"WeA, at night 1 store my mind; and
during the day mind my store" "And
how do you collect your debts ?" 81
write them, if they won't oblige me by
paying, I'll oblige them to pay me-.
THE other day q Dublin tutor who
had repeatedly to reprimand a youth
for inability to find an article if it was
the least out of it's usual position, came
out in passion with the following !:
81 suppose if you found your head not
on its usual place some day, you
wouldn't know where to go and look for
| II "
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Short Charity Sermons.

Dean Swift once preached a charity
sermon in st. Patrick's Cathedral, Dub
lin, the length of which Disguised many
of his auditors which, coming to his
knowledge, and it falling to his lot soon
after to preach another sermon OF the
like kind in the same place, he took
special care to avoid falling into the
same error. His text was, I" He that
hath pityuponthe poor lendeth unto the
Lord, and that which ne hatn given VIII
He pay him again" The Dean, after
repeating his text in a more than com
monty emphatic tone, added, Now,
nv beloved brethren, you hear the
terms of this loan if you like the Sc
ourity. down with your dust" The
ouaintness and brevity of the sermon
produced very large contribution.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Tough Feet.

Grace Greenwood, in a letter from
Colorado, describes a typical "poor
white" family of Missouri, careless,
shiftless, and intolerably lazy, the
daughters of which were accustomed to
go barefoot till the soles of their feet
became as hard as horn, and then tells
this story:
lone of these Young ladies, on COM
isg home one day from long tramp in
the rain after the cows, was standing on
the hearth drying her clothes, when her
old mother drawled, Sal, thars-a-
live - coal - under yer-foot. The
girl slightly turned her head, and
drawled back, Which-foot, nam.
my p"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
A Grandmother of Four Sets OF Twins,

Mrs. Sallie Taylor, in Westtown town.
ship, Chester county, Pennsylvania, is
the grandmother of eight twin grand
children, which fact we regard as rather
remarkable. These four sets of twins
are divided among her children as fol-
lows: Elizabeth Williams, wife of
Gideon Williams, in Birmingham town
ship, is the proud mother of two sets,
the first being girls, the second boys.
Jane, wife of Washington YearsIey, re-
siding in Westtown township, has one
set of spanking boys and the other
and last pair "a boy and girl belong
to and bask in the happy smiles of Mrs.
Stephen Taylor, of West Chester. II
there is any of our exchanges that can
show us n grandmother so well
favored with grandchildren as Mrs.
Sallie Taylor, of Westtown, we shall be
very happy to hear from them.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
The Mouth.

The mouth is the frankest part of the
face. 1t can the least conceal the feel
ings. We can neither hide ill.temper
with it nor good. We may affect what
we please, but affections will not help
us. In wrong cause it will only make
our observers resent the endeavor to i'm
pose upon them. A mouth should be
of good natural dimensions, as well as
plump in the lips. When the ancients,
among their beauties, made mention of
small mouths and lips, they meant
small only as opposed to an excess the
other way, fault very common in the
South. The sayings in favor Of small
mouths, which have been the ruin of
so many pretty looks, are very absurd.
If there must be an excess either way,
it had better be the liberal one. A
pretty pursed-up mouth is fit for moth
ing but to be left to its complacency.
Large mouths are oftener found in
union with generous dispositions than
very small ones. Beauty should have
neither, but reasonable look of open
ness and delicacy. 1t has an elegance
in lips, when, instead of making sharp
angles at the corner of the mouth, they
retain q certain breadth to the very
verge, and show the red. The corner
then looks painted with free and lib
eral pencil.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Queen VictOria's Grief.

The London correspondent of the New
York Sun describes some of the extra
ordinary manifestations of the Queen S
grief at the death of Prince Albert, as
follows : "She had the arm of the late
Prince modelled III wax and clothed and
would pass hours sitting with it drawn
through hers, absorbed in melancholy
reflections, recalling the past. The
apartments of the deceased were kept
in precisely the same order as that OBJ
served during his lifetime his slippers
and dressing gown regularly aired his
clothes, boots and toilet apparatus
placed as though he might come back at
any moment to claim them. She slept
land sleeps with his portrait pinned on
the bedhead and framed with immor-
telles beside her. Her letter paper and
envelopes were so deeply bordered with
black that the white space resembled q
mere patch on a sable ground. Lastly,
she kept all her servants in the com.
pletest mourning for long, long time
and wanted the Prince of Wales, ever
after he got married and set up for him
self at Marlboro House, to do the
same, which the young man fatty re
fused to do and left Windsor in a huff
not returning for a considerable period
Thisw was the beginning of frequent quar-
rels between them, up to the time o
his dangerous illness and convalescenc,
in 1871, which effected a reconciliation
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

ENDURING.-It is said that in the salt
mines of Hungary and Polan the gal
leries are supported by wooden pillars,
which last unimpaired for ages, in con-
sequence of their having been impreg-
mated with the salt. Pillars of brick
and stone, used for the same purpose,
crumble away in a short time by the
the decay of thor mortar. 1t is also
found that wooden piles driven into the
mud of salt marshes last for an unlim-
tied time, and the practice of docking
timber by immersing it for some time
in sea water after it has been seasoned
is generally admitted to make the tim
Der more durable. External causes of
decay, such as dampness, may be made
imperative by the painting of the wood,
but dry rot takes place irrespective of
the presence of paint, and seems to be
due more to heat than dampness. Pos
sibly salt might be so used as to pre-
serve wood from dry rot, while paint
would protect it from atmospheric
causes.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
.uOHNNy,s OPINION OF GRAND
MOIIIERs.

GRANDMOTHER are very nice folks
They beat all the aunts in creation;
They let a chap do az he likes,
And don't worry about education.
I'm sure can't see Il at all,
What poor fellow ever could do
For apples, and pennies, and cakes,
Without grandmother or two.
Grandmothers speak softly 10 "mas'
To Let u boy have good time;
Sometimes they will whisper tbs true,
'Tother way, when boy wants to climb.
Grandmothers have mullins for t1a,
And pies, whole row, in the cellar;
And they are apt Qf they know 1t in timel
To make chicken-pie for teller"
And II ke is bad now and then,
And makes great racketing noise,
They only look over their specs,
And say, "Ah, those boys will be boys!
Life is only short at the best.
Let the children be happy to-day"
Then they look for awhile at tho sky,
And the hills that are far, far away.
Quite often, as twilight comes on,
Grandmothers sing hymns very low
To themselves as they rock by the fire,
About heaven, and when they shall go.
And then, boy stopping TO think
VIII find a hot tear in his eye,
To know what will come at the last
For grandmothers all have TO die.
l wish they could stay here and pray,
For boy needs their prayers every night;
Some boys more than others, | spose,
Such as l need a wonderful sight.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
Commercial Failures.

The number of failures in 1873 in the
United States was 5,1S3, of which GA
were in New York city. The aggregate
amount of liabilities of the failing firms
and individuls, according to estimate,
was S22S, 449, 900, of which New York
citys part, increased by failures of
banking firms, &C., was 500, 635, 900.
The aggregate of liabilities involved in
failures for four years past is shown as
follows, distinguishing those of New
York city from those elsewhere in the
United States
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
THE LITTLE FOLKS.
The Trio.

The Trio.
Mamie Glover Mamie Glover,
Mind the leaf to turn IL over.
Don't be careless. Billy, don't
You can sing well. but you won't.
Don't keep time with all your feet
Softer, mind when you repeat.
Ready now and let IL ring,
One-two-three-sin
Mary had little lamb,
Mary had little lamb,
Mary had little l-a-a-mb,
It's fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
And everywhere that Mary went,
And everywhere that Mary we-ent,
The lamb was sure to CO."
silly creatures, what bother!
Making eyes at one another.
Mind your notes, and look at mo
I'm the leader, don't you see?
Faster. Billy! Louder, Nan!
Wake the echoes if you can.
Let us make this trio ring
Observation-Disclosures
Bah bah black sheep,
Got any wool?
O yes master,
Three bags full I:
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
That cries in the lane"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27
The Reason Why.

Little May lives near our creek, and
often she comes down to the meadow to
talk with her big brother, when he's at
work. Hes very knowing man, / can
tell you, for the reason that he keeps
his eyes and ears open when he's out of
doors, and when he is indoors, he fills
all his odd moments with reading.
Well, May came crying to him, the
other day, to tell him how she had
broken her mothers beautiful china
vase. The vase was very cold, and May
poured hot water into it. The poor
child could not see how so simple a
thing should have broken the delicate
china into pieces. He tried to explain
to her how all the tiny particles of the
china had drawn closer together with
the cold, while, if the vase had been
standing by the fire they would have
moved little bit further apart from
each other; for cold contracts, while
heat expands. CThis you littlest folke
will read about in your Natural Philo-
sophy, some time.) Now being Jack
in-the- Pulpit could see that the vase
was ever so little smaller by standing in
the cold, and that pouring in the hot
water would make it expand too quick
ly, or cause unequal expension by the
boiling water expanding the inner sur
face before the outside had caught the
idea, thus causing it to break, But
May, being only little girl, did not
have eyes sharp enough to see this,
though they are as bright as bright can
be the difference in the size of the vase
in the cold or in the heat is so very, very
smallll But she will remember not
to pour hot water into cold china or
glass, unless (now this is the great secret
the big brother told to little May she
first puts into the vase, or whatever il
may be, silver spoon. The metal, he
said, draws the first shock OF the heat
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

All communications for this paper should be ac-
companied by the name Of the author not neces-
sariy for publication, but as an evidence OF good
faith on the part OF the writer. Write only on ono
side OF the paper. BE particularly careful, In Civ
ing names and datos to have the letters and figures
plain and distinct.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

or cold to itself, and thus the glass will
not be broken. Was he right Prom
"Jdck-in-the-Putpit," in So. Nicholas
for March.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

A BosTos Court decided question
which was long ago solved by many
ladies, that when woman lends money
10 her husband she cannot recover it.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

IT is proposed to cultivate figs for fat
tening hogs in Southern California.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-27

EMBROIDERY representing ivy leaves
is the latest, and very handsome 1t Is.