The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-12-11
NY Foolish Fingers.
BY UNCLE ALBERT.


dreamed they did, and that's just as well.
1t seems they thought [ was asleep. and
took the chance to pitch into one an
other
The first I noticed of it there was
general cor1a1notion, and the middle and
ring fingers were pushing each other I
very spitefully. Each of them wanted /
all the room.
:. Now You just stand aside," said
Mr.. Middle a. I'm the longest and big
est, and have the best right here. You
are always sticking yourself up and
getting N the way. I'll have you un-
derstand that the middle of the hand is
all mine, and if you know when it's
good for you, you'll keep away.
At this Mrs. Ring was so indignant
she couid not speak, and Mr.. Fore
Finger, jumping up in great furry,
shouted
"No. YOU don't either, you insolent
fellow Mrs. Ring and [ aun down
into the middle just as much as you do,
and, putting us together, we occupy
more of the middle than you do. If
you dent behave yourself we will take
you n hand together and give
you such thrashing as you never had.
You are a great overgrown lubber,
good TOR nothing but to get in the way
Of better people.
At this Mr.. Fore stretched himself
up IS high as ne could beside his
neighbor. while Mr.. Middle looked
down on him with great contempt, and
said sneeringly
"Oct upon Won! You are so much
Of a nobody that / never think of you
except when want to touch Thumb for
some great business, and then there
you are, blunderirg around IN the
way >, .o,+aa NJ Fora
<tpretty talk indeed. Mrs. Ring and /
have been in love these years, and we
can't enjoy each others company for
you and your impudence.
Here these two drew back as if pre-
pairing for fight. In doing so Mr.
Middle crowded Mrs. Ring so that she
cried out:
lyon are pretty fellows, to be sure.
I abhor you both. / wouldn't conde-
scend TO associate with either OF you.
Haven't I always wore the wedding
ring because / am directly connected
with the heart? heard my owner read
ing about it to-day, and now do you sup
pose I'll have anything to do with either
of Won low-bred fellows? / just wish
YOU would fight so as to pull each other
out by the roots, and then I'd be clear
of Won and have it all to myself, the
only proper way for lady of my blood
and next to the heart T.
q
.ouivered all over as she fairly screamed
81 guess there's somebody in the
world beside you, Mrs. Ring. You are
the meanest. most conceited thing
ever saw. There is no getting along
with you, you put on so many silly airs
inst because some Ounce used to think
you were closer connected to the heart
than the rest of us. I'll have you under
stand I've just as much to do with the
AToa hot IN
nicer and prettier than you. You are
too big for q lady. I'm just as graceful
and nice as can be. Everybody admirei
me. They stick the wedding ring on
you lust because you are SO homely a
to need something to makeyou passable
Tn handsome enough without it. .
Rv this time each of the four finger
was mad at all the other three, ant
stood off as much as it could, looking
funny enough. / don't know that the,
ever would nave come together agail
in the world if it had not been for MI
Thumb. He stood up very still an
dignified, and said in a deep bass voice
yery slowly, and with good deal of
sneer:
"Wen, well, you are four of the shal
lowest fools / ever saw. Got up reg
ular family fight about nothing. "
half a mind TO give you all a good drub
hing I'd like to know what any on
az Tou would do alone. You'd cut
nrettv figure wouldn't you, foppin
eronnd in the air with no one to lea
on?"
ssshut up p they all cried togethe1
aaeno5ncr to forget their differences
common opposition to Uncle Thumb
0Shut up. You've no business mec
ding in our affairs. You don belon
to onr family. You are not finger {
all, hut thumb. Nature set you ava
off by yourself because you are not
tn he in good company, you short, clun
sv old stump, you!
An right said Uncle Thumb, coo
1v. ssT'm glad I don't belong to yoU
family If Won keep up this kind of
.~nmTns ali the time. I'm an old bacl
eIor and can get along alone-shove N
own way through the world. But
guess you'd all wish me back II l wei
gone you seem TO MAKE gooo oeai
me, anyway.
wav 10 stop this quarrel for good was
LET each one Of the very lndependel
folks trv to do some common thur
alone. So told my thumb to plck, Z
min. The fingers all agreed tnt
xrauIdn,t help him, but would see NO
he made ont alone. Thumb made ui'
at the pin in his clumsy style, put
stead OF picking ~ 1P - Ho - :,
out of the window. He hung down 2
head, and all the fingers pointed tner
selves at him scornfully.
Now" said Mr. IhnmD q
failed suppose Mr.. Middle = tries
he did. but could only roll the p
around. So they all tried, but mol
could pick it up.
.sYou are a pretty set of indepen
ent people," said I, and not one @ OF y
can pick up pin alone Now Ihum
Won stand aside, and let them try II
together" So they tried, and such
trial. Of course they could do II ca
enough altogether but they scramol