The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1874-07-25
BULLS AND BLUNDERS.
some specimens by samuel Lover.

The Irish have achieved n great ce-
lebrity in the MISTER of bulls and blum
ders. BY the uninitiated these are
terms which are constantly confounded;
but, when they are looked into, IT will
be seen there is the greatest difference
between. laundering arises from stu
pidity, and the stupid are n race who
are found all over the world but the
bull-a REGULARITY that belongs exclu-
sively to IreIand-is always connected
with thought, and originates in the
imaginative power of its people. 1t Is
not at all a dull absurdity which no one
can comprehend--it is always compre-
hensible. even when 1t Is most confused.
1t proceeds. not from the want, but the
SUPERB bundanee of ideas, which crowd
on each other so fast In an Irishman's
pericranium that they get jammed to-
gether, so 70 speak, IN the doorway of
his speech, and can only tumble ont IN
their ordinary disorder.
Confusion may, indeed, be called a
national characteristic. 1t peTvades all
Irish history. IL the stream of the
latter in early days has its CLEANS of
bright tranquility, sorely troubled does
1t become Us it deScends the sleeps of
time, till, as 1t fiOwa on in later ages, it
encount ers distinctions, political and
religious, which give it q turmoil and
perplexity that we cannos survey with
out deploring. As with the affairs of
unhappy Ireland. so has IL ever been
with its peasantry. Public and social
disorders have communicated a Jar TO
the brain OF Pat; and, il he can be &C
cused now aud then of being a little
cratic II bis sayings and doings, he
can at least console himself by pointing
to long historical authority. He may
say q:
.'Arrah now, why wouldn't be con-
fused Wasn't all of us confused, and
from the airliest times, and isn't a man
to be consistent? Would you have him
turn his coat when scarcely a rag of it
Is left him p
A good example of a bull may be
cited in the case of the two Irishmen,
who, fancying that they knew each
other, crossed the street to shake hands.
On discovering their error.
u beg Your pardonr 70 crisd the one.
"Oh, don't mention it" said the
other. Its a mutual mistake; You
see. I thought it was YOU, and you
thoIght it was me. and, after all, it was
neither of us -
4 good pendant to this is told of two
friends who met, aud referred to the
illness OF a third.
Poor Michael Hogan Faith, Tn
afraid he's going TO die :"
And Why should he die?"
cob, he's so thin You re thin
enough. and m thin-but, by my
sowl, Michael Hogan is thinner than
both of rs put together -
4 bull is sometimes produced by the
false 1lss Of = word as il the case o. an
police offfee
= What is this mans offense p
." He was disorderly, your worship,
in the strates, last night. >
And did Won give him warning be
fore You toe him into custody ?"
Il did, your worship. said to him,
'disparse =
Again, a bull may be occasioned by
confusion of identities, as when 1t was
said of an ugly man that he was hand
some when an infant, but he was an
luckily changed at nurse or it was
shown in the fervor of a girl who, de-
string her lovers miniature, aud he fear
ing 1t might lead to discovery
"Oh, it needn't" she exclaimed,
"'Ill tell the painter not to make 1T
like you Z"
Aud again, a bull may be owing TO
limited amount of knowledge, as IN the
case of an old woman going TO the
chambers for farthipg candle, and
being told it was raised 10 "A half-penny
on account of the Russian war:
Bad luck to them !" she exclaimed;
and do they fight by candle-light p
Apart, however, from all of these,
the Ordinary saying of the Irish have
an imaginative quality which is just as
characteristic, and not at all confusing.
nF
man who is irretrievably ruined
"Saltpetre wouldn't save him, and
that is a strong pickle :" or when they
would advise another TO avoid arrest
"Be off while your shoes are good
or, as they dellcately say of an elderly
lady, whose number of years they for
bear 70 mention " a kitten of her age
wouldn't play with a cork
And apart from a these again, is the
genuine humor OF The Irish, which has
nothing of the bull in it whatever, but,
on the contrary, the clearest notions,
and very often the shrewdest sense. l
will only cite couple of instances,
which viii not be the less welcome if
they happen TO have been heard before.
gentleman seeing an Irishman
staggering homeward fromsa fair, and
observing to him
"Ah, Darby, I'm afraid you'll find
the road you're going is rather longer
one than you think.
"Sure, your honor, he replied, "It's
not the length of the road l care about.
it's the breadth of it is destroyin' me"
And again, in the Bog of Aughrinl.
rne GsssS ctsnSeIHSs kESlisy ssSss.
rels used to be found as a memento of
its great battle, and there was a black
smith who dug them mp in order to
make use of their material. On one
occasion one of them exploded in his
furnace, when he exclaimed
" Bad luck to your love of murther
isn't the battle of Aughrisa out of you
yet?
Grass for Calves.