Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-11-25
Odds and Ends.


IT is the new girl that sweeps clean.
A WAIST of time-That of stout old
lady.
"THE'' man who laughs" THE man
elected. fs
NEXT to diary, the most difficult
thing to keep is lead pencil.
BUTTER is unlike human beings. It
gains it's strength as it grows old.
The ugliest plant in the world is the
attice plant of Madagascar.
New silver coins are proposed of the
value Of an eighth and fifth of a dollar.
The political hen laid very big egg
this time-auite beyond all cackle-ation.
COLORADO claims that one-half it's
population is composed of reconstructed
invalids.
A YOUNG widower may go into a de-
cline for the season, but he generally
re-wlves.
WHEN the clerk of a steamboat takes
a dislike to man man he gives him
wide berth.
A KIND-HEARTED boy in Philadelphia
stole 800 and presented it to an orphan
asylum. -
MEN with liberal education are not
always ready to give away what they
know.
A GOOD Judge says blue-eyed women
can be trusted; but good judges trust
not over much.
The appearance of spirits is doubted
by many men; but no one questions the
diSaDDearance of ROurbOn
The cost to the United States of the
Tribunal of Arbitration is shown by the
Auditors report to have been $31, 4O8.
The government has paid out 1924, 284
during the past year for interpreters of
the Chinese and Japanese languages.
"JEoPARDY ? Jeopardy?" exclaimed
an old merchant when told his schooner
was in that condition, "where is that?"
In Spain they translate the adage,
"You can't chase two hares at once,"
thus: "One can't at the same time
ring the bell and be in the procession
Truth is oftentimes crushed to earth,
and now, what is equally bad, man
named Honesty has got into the Virginia
states prison.
AN English minister says that eff
Scripture said one thing and the Lon
don Times another, 500 persons out of
every $40 would believe the Times"
A STRANGE gem has been discovered
in Ceylon, called g cats eye" It is. of
"reddish" color, weighs one and half
e'carats,' and will 'sturn up 10000
rupees.
WFE-What did Jumbo get for as
remanded. Wife-Lor' I should
have thought he would have got three
months.
A CHICAGO paper speaks of Mrs.
Swisshelm as ga woman with rudder
to her name" The man who perpetrat-
ed this atrocity will dowelto steer clear
Of the lady.
THE Chicago Board of Education is
very unpopular just now, because it re-
Gently reported the population of the
city 100, 900 less than thenumber claim
ed-4O0, 900.
THE water of Merrimac River has
suddenly become clear without any ap-
parent cause, and the pilots are busy
locating dangerous rocks that they have
never before seen.
{ A CONSPICUOUS article on exhibition at
/ the Cumberland (Md.) fair is NAM
{ moth lump of coal, which weighs 3,42O
3 pounds net, or sixty pounds more than
l a ton and half.
s $50 YOU take lessons in drawing ?''
eyes, and the teacher says I'm an apt
pupil as draw more differences, insin.
t uations, admirers, and allowances than
$ any other girl in the academy
: The Sultan believes in the " right OF
l royalty" He became angry at his first
q Chamberlain the other day and beat the
Z unfortunate Pacha until he was black
: and blue, and blood poured from his
mouth.
I The fog was so thick in Troy early
" the other morning, that the Times sol
;, EMMY AYERS one could not distinguish 8
= policeman from a hitching post across
y the street, if he didn't know that hitch
= ing posts never snore.
- PRINCE AcHILLE MURAT, in bringing
\ the suit to force his children to pay hin
- Ma annual pension of five thousand dol
y lars, relies on the law which compels 6
family of sons and daughters to support
II "prodigal father. -
" The people of Liverpool are wonder
= = ing at an automaton pianist, an elegant
a ly dressed young lady, which not onl,
N presides at the piano with much skill
: but acknowledges with grace the ap
!. probation of the audience.
as The favorite conundrum, in Hunting
ly ton, Tenn, is: "Why is this town lik,
of heaven?" The answer is, "Becaus,
E. there is neither marrying nor giving il
e. marriage" There has not been mar
/! riage for over two years.