The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-08-05
SCRAPS.
uThc living link"-Dog.

A bad habit to get int-A coat thai
is not paid for.
First law. of gravity - never4augl
at your own jokes.
e Colorado calls for more women. Il
has scarcely y single one.
The girls of an Illinois seminary
amuse themselves by splitting at 8
mark.
sDverstrained-Mrs. Mary Strain, o1
Pittsburgh, who married three broth
ers.
It ia asserted that if the comet hits
Chicago l,1O6 divorces will be
blasted.
who is the LATEST man? The fur,
niture dealer: he keeps chairs and
lounges about all the time.
Pittsburgh typographical error
tsThe Legislature pasted the follow
ing bill over the Governors head.
There Is nothing more calculated to
msakena boys moral character than
70 get his tishing-hook fastened on
rubbish in the river.
Why did he hate it. sc9 A certain
member OF Congress has given New
England college no less than 1910
patent Office reports.
While an indianapolis journalist was
writing an account of a burglary, his
own room was broken into aud ran
sacked by thieves.
Z A New York man has christencd
his daughter Glycerine. He says it
will be easy to prefix nitro If her
temper resembles her mothers.
Bayard Taylor has concluded not
to explore the heart Of Africa, and
those obituary notices may as well
be distributed.
The Ncwburyport Herald knows q
bachelor who says he always looks to
The hymeniaf department of that
paper for the news Of the weak.
A Detroit father keeps his boy in
nights by vanishing chair and sit
ting hlm down. It's novel plan, but
awful tough On the trowsers.
= A Chicago editor, who went out
for days sport with the gun and
rod, shotaa forty-fve dollar cow, and
caught an old hat with stone in 1t.
When a wife is detected showing
unusual affection for her husband. it
may fai,ly be expected that she will
appear before long in new bonnet
A Tennessee man wrote his will on
a paper collar, and it passed through
the Probate Cout as we'll as any other
will, though o little unhandy about
hling.
4 San Francisco rnporter blushed
ut some remarks of Victoria Wood
hull, and was promptly discharged
for .'eonduct unbccoming q journal,
ist."
There is,a mule in East Wheeling,
". Va, who has kicked the roof of
his stable every night for the past
week. in addition to knocking the
.squeal out of family OF pigs.
A Boston correspondent of the
.I.eue South writes that Boston may
bo built on sevenshills, but the streets
are so mixed up that you can't tell
which bill you are on.
An Illinois editor returns thanks
for q centipede sent to him by mail
from Texas. "it being" he sayes, "the
FIRST cent of any kind that we've seen
Tor several weeks"
A New York paper grayely OBJ
serves that The suicide Of farmer,
which.it notices, "is singularly strange
fnasmuch as he has not been in the
habit Of doing such things"
4 painter being asked to estimate
the cost of painting q certain house,
drew forth a pencil and paper, and
made the following calculation: "a
nought is nought; three into five
twice you can't-I'll paint your house
for fifty dollars"
A St. Louis paper had q two-column
account of d hotel of that city. The
:bedbuigs, after reading it over care
fully. held q meeting and denounced
the paper for not mentioning them.
An old clergyman spying boy
creeping through u fence exclaimed !:
tWhat! crawling through a fences
PIGS do that" eyes," retorted the
boy, "and old hogs go along the
'stfset."
According to the census there are
OILY two men in America who make
a specially of the manufacture of
hand-organs, and yet they still live,
and are free from tire fear of assassi-
hation.
It is said that DR.. Mary Walker
now carries a pistol for newspaper
men. We have always spoken OF that
distinguished physician with the
highest respcct:-Louisville Courier
Journal
A young lady asked clerk IN . the
Wisconsin News Company's store Il
he had "Festus." "No," replied the
clerk, "but I'm afraid a boil is coming
on the back of my neck"
!. Jules tanin wrote an extraordinary
hand. The characters were formed
= with some care, but had not theil
: Iike in any known alphabet. TheHrs
were only two compositors on TIT