The Republican. [volume] (Maryville, Tenn.) 187?-187?, 1874-04-25
NUMBER 6.
FACTS AND FANCIES.

Next to the sweetness of hs lug
friend whom you can trust is tn con
venienee of possessing friend wi vii
occasionally trust you.
Even with an octagonal watcI, un
less man has q mouse-colored h1rs
and top buggy, he can only ski -misl
on the outskirts of good society.
Siam is an ungallant cor -
There the first wife may be dive
and after that every wife may be old
for cash, or traded for yellow dog
According to the report of fu
Myers, of the signal service, there
greater quantity of rain fell at l
vile, during last month, than at ar.
other point in the United States.
When Tennessee father wall m
to newspaper Office with a shot-e 10 on
his arm and says "My darter has writ
some poetry which I want you t. pub.
lish," how's a feller going to plead
press of matter?
-Laborers in Japan have had
wages raised to u cents day.
such wages the laborer may take adr
and cigar once or twice week, but he
must dispense with such superfuities as
bread and meat
Kate Field says of Isabella ii. of
Spain, that scion of the old Bourbon
race, that "she is great, stout, ungain-
ly female, who needs but dozen chill
dren and a wash tuD.to be counterfeit
presentment of the typical Biddy."
What can man think CT his wife's
relations who is 80 savage about his own
as to write 81 don't like relations;
you are obliged to be familiar with a
man Just because he happens to be son
Of the same father as your father.
Senator Sumner has gone where
proof.readers are not known. His friends
congratulate themselves that he did not
see the issue of the Cave Echo, which
punctuated his last words, "Take care
of my civil rights, Bill"
The Scientific American predicts
that the time will soon come when ice
will be manufactured in all our great
cities at dollar ton. Manufactured
ice at three dollars ton has for some
time been in the markets of New Or
leans.
Bury me in the garden has been al
tered to read:
Oh bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
In beautiful hole IN the ground,
Where the humble bees buzz and woodpeckers
( sing.
And the straddle bugs tumble arsund
So that in winter, when the snow and the
slnsh
Have covered up his last little bed,
His brother Artemus can go out with Jane,
And visit the place with his sled.
"A Massachusetts man living at Sha-
ron. in that state, has just chopped his
own head off by the aid Of guillotine
ingeniously made and worked by his
own hands. The ingenuity OF the in
dustrious New Englander is constantly
placing his countrymen under lasting
obligations to him.
"A writer in Scribner for April
speaks of the mode of address adopted
by the African. "Boss" is q general
term, probably containing the oxide OF
civility; "mas'r" conveys general
idea of superiority. If the old man
knows your face, and you are young, he
calls you "captain ;" if middle-aged,
"maior :" if old. general" or "judge."
"A Nebraska journal invitingly says:
"Who says farmers cannot get rich in
this state? Fifteen years ago young
man came to the state without dollar
in the world. Last week he went out OF
the state, carrying with him the sum OF
one hundred aud thirty-eight cents, the
savings of fifteen years of frugal life.
Come west, young man; come west J.
"A Corning Qa.) youth paid his at
tentious to two young ladies and propos-
ed marriage to both. They found out
about it. invited him to the house OF one
of them and asked him to take seat be-
tween them, which he did, sitting down
in tub of water over which covering
had been nicely spread. Then they po-
litely requested him not to be in hur-
ry to go, but he went.
During the progress of trial IN
Judge Mays court, in San Jose, one OF
the female witnesses was asked this
question by one of the attorneys: "Did
the defendant call his wife my dear,
when he met her ?" This took the wit
ness by surprise, but she answered him
in manner that showed she was honest
and sincere in her belief. Did he call
her my dear? OF course not. How
could he when she is his wife p
A Greenfield farmer dropped into
drug store Saturday, and after looking
around for a moment ordered pint OF
lnsced oil and two ounces of pepper
mint essence put up together. The
clerk filled the order, but being rather
curious to know what was wanted OF
the mixture he made bold to inquire.
"Why, for ha'r lie, of course, replied
the farmer "the gals is invited to
party Tuesday night, and they want to
lie up and smell NICE"
An old bachelor has been deferred
from committing matrimony in the fol-
lowing way: Thinkingove the subject,
and particularly expenses OF main
tanning family, he set the table in his
lonely abode with plates for himself and
anI imaginary wife and five children.
He then sat down TO dine, and as often as
he helped himself to food he put the
same quantity on each of the other
plates, and surveyed the prospect, at
the same time computing the cost. Ee
is still bachelor.
There is an old darkey in Maryland
who lately voted for local option, as he
understood it, bnt not as the public
generally understood it, The story "a
true one) runs thus At recent cleo
ton friend asked the old man how he
was going to vote. "Oh," he replied,
"the republican ticket I always vote
that ticket" "But how are you going
to vote on local option2" The daIkey,
looking up, asked, Whats dat ?"
"Why, local option is putting down
liquor" was the reply, "Lors a mas