The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-06-25
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

Dollars and sense do not necessarily travel
together. ., -. NJ.
- An unpleasant sort of arithmetic-Dlvl-
49, "My Wife" said critic, "is the most even
tempered person in the world-she's always
mad"
A Rural statistician reports that more
people are talked to death by peddlers of light
ning-rods than are killed by lightning.
! - There is nothing more calculated to weak
en- boys moral character than to get his flsh-
ing hook fastened on rubbish in the river.
1t is suggested in an English paper that
smoking be allowed during divine service, "as
means of increasing the attendance at
church,
No man ever sank under the burden of to-
day. It is when to-morrows burden is added
to the burden of to-day that the weight is more
than man can bear.
One very common error miseads the opln-
ion of mankind universally: that authority Is
pleasant submission painful. In the general
course of human affairs the very reverse OF this
is nearer the truth. Command is anxiety obe-
edience, ease.
An absent-minded gentleman, writing q
letter at the breakfast table, dipped his pen in
his coffee and continued his letter. Noticing his
mistake, he put lump of sugar in the INK,
and then, finding his second blunder, poured
the contents of the inkstand into the cottee-pot
to set it right.
We have the New York Suns assurance
that "No French or English woman OF cultl-
vation nowadays wears her garters below her
knees. The principal vein of the leg sinks
there beneath the muscles, and varicose veins,
cold feet, and even palpitation of the heart
NAV be brought on by a tight garter in the
wrong place. When it is fastened above the
knee all this pain and deformity may be avoid
ed.'
A negro philosopher, discussing the re-
lations Of the races, said "You know de turkey,
he roost on de fence, and de goose he roost on
de ground. You pull de turkey off de fence,
and he will git up again. You crop his wings,
but some how or nuddcr he's gwine to get back
on de fence. Now, you put de goose on de
fence an he will fall off; he don't belong dar.
De turkey am de white man he's down now,
but is gwine to get up again. DE nlgger IS oe
goose j; he better stay whar he belongs"
- The Princess de Metternich having, in a
Paris saloon, declined to salute the Compte de
Montebello on account of his having ceased to
be Bonapartist, her husband had to give sat-
isfaction, which he did by fighting with the
sword, as his challenger raised objections to
the barbarity of pistols. It seems, then, that
lady, wishing to get rid Of her lord and master.
has only to publicly insult gentleman, and
the Code of Honor, so-called, at once steps IN
and settles the affair, and the husband, possibly
at the same time.
The jug is most singular utensil. A
pail, tumbler or decanter may be rinsed, ano
you may satisfy yourself by optical proof thai
it is clean but the jug has little hole in the
top, and the interior is all in darkness No eye
penetrates it-no hand moves over the surface
You may clean it only by putting in water
shaking it and pouring it out. If the water
comes out clean you judge you have succeeded
in cleaning the jug, and vice versa. Hence the
Jug is like the human heart. No mortal eye
can look into its recesses, and you can only
judge of its purity by what comes out OF it,
On Sunday, not long since, one of ou1
most stylish young ladies waltzed into church
with that inimitable grace that is at once the
popularity and the charm of the female de
nomination. AS she took her seat, by a little be
hindhand movement she arranged her overskir
and then settled herselfto mediate upon how
she looked, and to observe what the other girl:
had on. The services concluded, she arose tt
20 out. Alas for human hopes! That las
touch on the overskirt was too much; she
threw it too high, and there it rested on al
old muff which was serving as hustle. 81
the wretched girl wiggled away, unconscious
of the Joy that filled the hearts of the othe
girls who saw it.