The Western advance., 1874-07-18
CURRENT ITEMS.

LIE cApcuScS OF the dolly water
works, Titusville, Pa, are but $10,8O0
per year.
SIXTY THOUSAND quarts of strawDcr-
ries were shipped from Milford, Pa, in
single day recently.
AN inventive genius in Ohio proposcs
to furnish horses with false teeth, so as
to conceal their age.
SEVERAL. residents along the Mohawk
Flats, Pa, have engaged in the cultiva-
ton OF sweet potatoes.
FIVE times John Happy, of Vermont,
has been engaged to one girl. and he has
not made her Happy yet.
THIRTY-F1vs citizens of Center Town
ship, Boonc~County, Ind, have reached
the age of seventy years.
IA BILL that everybody is anxious
should not be brought before the house
this SUMMERTIME mosquitoes.
A MERCHANT who has suffered from the
moiety system styles the Government Of
ticials internal rcvenoodlcs"
A PERFORMER at the coming circus is
styled the human anaconda" It is to
he hoped he will not prove boa.
A LEAvENwoRTH paper notes the death
Of a man of " tllirty-fve years. standing"
Chairs must be scarce out there.
FRANCE, Notwithstanding her disturbed
political condition, produced more books
last year than any other country.
!" THIS engine won't work. said fire
man to the chief of fire department.
No wohder," said he, cit was made to
play"
The Spragues are under cloud vet,
and it ism necessary to have pass from
one of them in order to travel across
Rhode Island.
THE wind-mills introduced in the
CRANKY (Nev.) mines to pump out water
have proved failure, and the idea has
been Abandoned
JOHN GRoGG1N, of Maine, has just got
mad about the Modoc war, and is com
ing West with fire in his eye and IL shot
gun on his shoulder.
A DETROIT boy propounds the awful
query: Which had you rather do, be
eaten up by tiger, or have all the ma
pie sugar you can SWaller?"
CONE, now, let's say no more about
Laura Fair. When one remembers that
it was lawyer she shot, the crime is
robbed Of its rough edge.
COMMODORE VANDERBILT admits that
he isn't much on photography, but Blink
ers asks: What in thunder does a man
worth $87 600, 900 care about spelling? -"
DUBrQUE has just plated new Gene
terry with race-track around it, and now
it they would give chrome to every pur-
chaser of a lot the thing could be made
to pay.
WHEN a man is found on the highway
in Missouri with two bullct-holes in his
head, the verdict of the Coroner's Jury is
q that it looks like shooting, but may have
been suicide"
GEORGE II. AVERY, of Boston, who re-
Gently walked 100 miles in twenty-onc
hours and forty minutes, is going to start
from Boston for Montrcal 46O miles,
Sept. l, intending to walk the distance in
eight days.
PROF. HITCHCOCK, of Dartmouth Col
lcgc, will shortly receive from New Zeal
and two skeletons Of the extinct bird the
dinoris, or dodo, the first ever brought to
this country.
TIE San Francisco trotting horse Sam
Purdy was sold by auction on the Gath
ult., for $21 800 Mcssrs McCord and
Frank Malone, of San Francisco, were
the buyers.
A GRAPEs1IOT, probably fired during the
Revolution, was found the other day in
the heart Of a tree twenty inches in diam
cter, near the spot at Center Rutland, VT,
where the old fort stood.
A MAN who had spent over two years
and - 900 in lead mining at Joplin, Mo,
has just made Il strike which will likely
repay him for his time and outlay Re-
Gently he took out 10000 pounds.
THE Joplin (Mo) Bulletin wants a rail
road from that place to Kansas City, 1t
claims for tho town population Of 5000,
together with 130 business houses and
twenty-five furnaces, which run day and
night.
The son of an Emir had rcd hair, of
which he was ashamed, and wished to
dye it. But his father said: 'Nay, my
son, rather behave in such a manner
that all fathers should wish their sons
had red hair"
A CORRESPONDENT informs us that in
Germany, when the vote of the jury
stands six against six, the verdict is left
to the decision of the Judge. n majority
of votes either acquits or convicts the
prisoner.
A PATERSON On. J.) man who had
placed several lightning-rods on his
house was delighted during Il recent
storm at seeing it struck in two places,
while the house Of his neighbor, who was
too mean to pay for lightning-rod, was
not struck at all.
The Trustees of the Worcester Mass.)
Academy have received the sum of 81 900
from William Buckncll, of Philadelphia,
the income of which is to be applied to
sustaining scholarship for the most
courteous Christian gentlemen among the
students in the academy.
A New ORLEANS young woman who
writes pieces for the papers says that
occasionally a woman meets a man to
whom she says: "On the barren shores
of Time, 0 my souls kinsman, | have
found in thee my pearl of great price,
and there is nothing more precious out
of heaven" This young man does not
grow in the North.
THE other day a young lady in Phila-
| delphi;, became so much embarrassed by
proposal from her lover that in her
agitation, she swallowed needle.
Young men cannot be too cautious about
such things. They should never make
such propositions to girls until they have
thoroughly examined their mouths to see
whether they have any needles in them or
not.
PROF. ADLER, Of the Cornell University
cannot see what the name of the shad
S derived from, unless from the German
word sc2tnd", signifying something like
our English word scathe"-to injure OF
inf1ict loss. The shad has been described
contemptuously as the poor mans fish
and from this association of it with pov
erty the Professor thinks that it's name
may have come
! NATURALIsTs bewail the apparent fac