The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-01-22
THE STEAM JAcKAss.
A Triumph OF Ingenuity-The LOudest
Noise Ever Heard.

A Triumph Of Ingenuity-Ihe LOudest
Noise Ever Heard.
A man living near Nashville, Wash
ington county, ILL.,, has recently invent
ed an apparatus to take the place OF
whistles for railroad signals, steamboats,, |
iire-alarms, factory calls and the like.
He calls it the Telegraph, =" but the
proper name is the g Steam Jackass.
The inventor is q stock-farmer, and has !
devoted much of his time to raising |
mules, whose habits and anatomy he APP
pears to have studied very carefully. |
On his farm there was a mule of more
than ordinary vocal power, whose voice
could be heard a distance of four miles
in every direction when ne once got
warmed up to his work. The owner
computed that if he could set in motion
all the air in q circle of eight miles in
diameter, or twenty-five miles in circum
ference, or an area of fifty square miles,
or 80, 900 acres, 100 horse power jack
ass could, all other things being equal,
rival any other noise yet discovered. He
established the fact that the power of an
ordinary ass is about One-twelfth of an
indicated steam power. A steam engine
of 1000 horsepower would therefore be
| equal to the power of 1900 asses.
Wherefore, if one ass can fill a circle
eight miles in diameter, II, 900 jackasses
or one 900 horsepower jackass would
Gil circle Of 90, 600 miles in diameter.
The inventor thought all this over care
| fully, arriving at the deduction that if
he could take natures vocal apparatus
and apply it to greater power, he could
produce larger and more satisfactory
volume of sound. Filled with this
idea, he put the mule TO death, and care
fully severed the head from the body.
He then injected solutions of chloride
of zinc and arsenic into the veins and
arteries of the head and neck to prevent
decay of the flesh. India rubber was
dissolved in sulphuric ether, and the
solution forced through the trachea or
wind-pipe and through the larynx, or
throat The ether evaporated, leaving
a film of rubber on the membrane, and
the injection and evaporation were con-
tinued anti the rubber film was found
of sufficient thickness. These organs
were then subjected to vapor of sui
phur, heated to 300 degrees, by which
process the rubber was vulcanized, itS
elasticity increased, and the membranes
rendered impervious to steam. These
preparations completed, short piece
, of rubber hose was attached tothe wind
pipe and connected with a steam boiler
It was moment of agony TO the in
: ventor, as he placed the ass-head in TIN
D hands of an assistant and slowly pulled
8 the valve open f; a moment of thrilling
t, interest. AS the steam was turned on
q it passed into the wind-pipe, expellin
= the air and producing a sigh, followe
e by a groan, a mort, a chuckle, then
violent coughing and sneez ng. As
full head of steam was turned on, tn
L est fearful noise, the most frightfU
) guffaw, the most vociferous bray tha
u ever assailed mortal ears, was pro
u iuced. The lips contracted, disclosin
a terrible array of teeth the feature
e developed satanic grin; the jaws raise
u and fell, as the steam crowded the pa
=" sages, and the ears participated in til
general movement, giving to the hea
- of the ass an animated and excited al
pearance. The man who was holdin
* the head gazed at it moment, with d
}. lated eyes, colorless cheeks, knockin
10 knees and protruding tongue; the
w suddenly losing all interest in the pc
,e Torrance, he emigrated. As for the il
in ventor, his success succeeded his mo
ne sanguine antieipations. For an instal
re he contemplated the ad, his count
es nance working with every manifestatiC
r, of intense delight; then he too staTte'
in probably to learn the greatest distan,
n to which that voice would penetrat
leaving it still in operation. with a
steam on. The head had now got full
70 warmed up to its work, and that brs
r. went hurtling through the universe.
was an acoustic earthquake; it was
m storm, a hurricane of sound, a tOrnad
'h cyclone of noise it was a donk,
ne carnival, jackass Fourth of July.
e was the greatest success the world b.
<; ever known.