The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-02-13


EM. W. P. H." 'Tis well. for our
lodges contain several who are sup
posed to be ready to sacrifc them
selves for the good of their consti-
tuents. Do you feel pretty smart
this EVENING""
Candidate where the bus
j tie goes on"
NJ. W. P. H. (savagely) = "Give
me ehaw of tobackerr'
Candidate, searching himself
thoroughly, but as there is no place
about him to stick a pocket, tries to
explain, but the Most Worshipful
PumpkinHead interrupts him with
"Never mind, my dear young friend
i am well aware that in your pres
ent condition, you can no more furn-
ish your friends with the weed, than
Adam could be comfortable ia q
Iplug hat and tight boots. 1t is mere
ly to teach you the great lesson of
economy-doing TO others as you'd
like to have them do to you. You
will now be conducted to the Most
Eminent Squash Producer, who will
teach you the Grand Hailing Sign of
Distress. This sign, my worthy bro
ther, will ensure against many of the
ills of the agriculturist-amongst
others, against drOughs and being
bit by the ferocious grass hopper"
The candidate is now conducted
to the Most Eminent Squash Pro
dueer, who thus says, "My worthy
brother, I will now invest you with
the order Of the Festive Ploughboy,
which you well have won by your
heroic achievements while harnessed
may you ever wear it with pleas
ure to yourself and may it be means
of terror to your enemies"
(The NJ E. S. P. then proceeds to
invest the candidate with the regalia
of the Festive PlOughboy, which con-
sists of long Tomato necklace). J.
"The Grand Hailing Sign of Dis
tress is made by gently closing the
left eye, laying the right forefnger
alongside the nose, and violently
Iwagging the ears. 1t requires prae-
| Itice, but the advantages are intense.
1t also has an important signifca-
tion, which you will do well to heed.
The closing of the eye signifies that
in all your dealings with mankind
lyou are bound to have an eye to bus
Iiness. Laying the finger alongside
the nose is emblematic of wisdom,
and places you at once among the
I'knowing ones This is extremely
handy in prognosticating new wealth
er, and saves the wear and tear Of
almanaes. Wagging the ears signi-
fies sublimity Of purpose, and is
thought to be emblsmatical of child
hoods happy hours" II is also sup
posed by some profound scholars to
have q distinct reference to apple
dumplings, but this fact is some
what obscure by the dust of ages. In
token that you are one of US, you
will now be branded. This ceremo-
ny is very impressive and consists
of two brands. They are both ap-
piled "While the iron is hot" and
consists of one letter of the alphabet
each. The first is a large letter S
on which you will please sit while
the other letter is applied to the
stomach. The letter S, my worthy
chicken, signifies Scooped, and re-
fers to railroad monopolies. 1t is
also supposed to indicate the seat of
learning-the spot where the old
timed teachers hunted for brains
with the ferule. The second letter c,
is applied, as l said before, to the
stomach. 1t has double meaning.
First, the application is an agricIl-
tural one, "Corn Crib" and has re-
ference to the stomach as being the
great receptacle for Bourbon whis-
Ky. But, brother, do not be diligent
in finding a home market for your
corn. The sec5nd application of the
letter C, my distracted infant, is got
hold of as follows: When one Grang
Ier desires to ascertain "for sure" if
there is another of the order in the
room, he raises himself gently by the
slack of the-of his unmentionables
scratches his off thigh with his
near hOof, and remarks in a voice of
thunder: "Are there any Grangers
about" The answer is "Jeese wax.
The inquirer then says 'tlet US see, p"
(letter C) and the other party must
Immediately pull out his stomach
and disclose the brand.
These brands are applied in such
manner that I an enabled to as
sure you that they will wash.
l was here interrupted, Mr.. Editor,
by Yolley fired into the open win
ldow, evidently intended for me. For
tunately 1 escaped without scratch,
and, which is of more consequence,
succeeded in fetching of my pre-
eious manuscript. This is about all
there is in the ceremoney of any i'm
portance-I must leave the county
st once-armed men are at my heels
they know l am writing 70 expose
them. You may hear from me again
Iby mail, if l should deem it best to
expose the other degrees-until then
l-adieu.
From your sacred Friend.
B. POLE.
| NoTIcE.-This ceremony of initia-
tion is used during the absence of
the lady members. Their initiatory
ceremonies are entirely different, be-
| ing much simplifed, as they should
be.
woMEN's WORK.