The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-09-25
LAUGH

An ingenious young school maid
en- in Polk county Oregon, has in
vented an efectual process of cor
reeting school children. She stands
them on their heads and pOurs wa
ter down their trousers legs.
Dear me, how huidly he talks,
said Mrs. Darlington recently, at q
temperance meeting. 81 am always
rejoiced when he mounts the nostrils,
for his eloquenee warns every cat
ridge in my body.
Scott county, MINNESOTA, has the
most extensive mandatory of Linn
burger cheese in the country. This
kind of cheese is said to be aripe"
when a piece the size Of a walnut
will drive 3 rat out Of a lanyard.
"You never saw such c hsppy lot
ofpeople as we had here yesterday"
said landlady in Indiana, to 3 new
" arrived guest. "There we're thir-
teen couples of them" 'sWhat! thir-
teen couples just married % sob, no,
sir; thirteen couples just divorced"
The following concise and COM
prehensive note was sent to an Tlli-
nois merchant by neighboring far
mer the other day: "Send me q
trace chain and two hinges-Jane
had a baby last night-also tHO pad
locks"
An Oshkosh, Wisconsin, paper
publishes a list Of new buildings
started in the burnt district which
reads something like this: "Beer
hall, store, saloon, beer hail, grocery
and saloon, beer hall, store, beer hall,
saloon" 1t is to be hoped that in
rebuilding the town the people won't
forget to put in an occasional beer
hall.
A young man at Kenosha bet two
dollars that be could take q certain
mans nose between his thumb and
finger. Although the said certain
man was a church deacon, the yOnng
mans doctors bill was fourteen dol
lars.
The young man who drives the
express wagon to which we are in
debted for an occasional basket Of
blessings from the city, brought in q
box, and by way of apology for smo-
king his cigar while in the hail and
waiting for his pay, remarked to the
ladies Il hope you will excuse my
excuse my smoking, but I have lost
my mother lately, and smoking is .
great comfort to me.
A coroner in Delaware o., while
holding an inquest on a body, sum-
moned eighteen women and made
them tell their ages, and now his
midnight dreams are interrupted By
people shooting through his door.
When one is in the act Of tipping
his hat to a lady, whom he supposes
to be an acquaintance, it requires
some tact to make believe he is only
scratching his head, as he discovers
the lady to be stranger.
Two Irishmen, on q sultry night,
took refuge under the bedelothes
from party of mosquitoes. At last
one Of them, gasping from heat, ven
tured to peep beyond the bulEarks,
and espied FREELY which had stray'd
into the room. Arousing his COM
panion with a punch, he said, Ser
gus, Fergus, its no use. Ye might
as well come out. Here's one of the
craythers searching for US Wid lant-
ern."
| An misunderstanding young
man stepped into a grocery store in
Winona, Wisconsin, the other day,
and called for some crackers and
cheese. The merchant informed him
of the amount of his bill, and in re-
sponse the young man took off his
shoe, then his stocking, and finally
brought to light a roll of green
backs that he had earned in the har-
vest field, remarking that his watch
was stolen on his way up, but now
be was bound the "blaoklegs can not
get nine money mitoud der break
mine foot off,
Ralph Waldo Emerson never bad
toothache, boils, or q son belonging
to base ball club. He said recent
| Iy; "I never had a trouble or sor-
row which I could not forget in If
teen minutes in the perusal Of some
faYorite author"