The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1874-07-09

Ny Deaf Wife and Auns.
/ had IN aunt coming 10 visit me for
the Grst time eince my marriage, and !
donf know what evil genius prompted
Ne evil wickedaess which perpetrased
toward my wife and ancient relation.
.Iy dear said to my wife on the
day before my aunfs arrival, "yoa know
Aunt Mary is coming tomorrow; we !, l
forgot 70 mention . rather annoying
eifcunseaace with regard to her. She
u very DEAF. ssd although she can hear
ny voice, yet ron win be obliged to
speak extremely loud in order 70 be
heard. II win Be rather inconveniens.
but know you win do everything in
ycur power to make her agreeable
Mrs.. announced her determine
ton to make herself heard. If in her
power.
then went 70 John n -. who loves
joke about as well rs any person 1
know of. and told him 20 be In the house
u six p. NJ, on the following evening.
and felt comparatively happy.
Iwent TO the railroad depot with .
carriage next night. and shea sxs on
my way home with my aaat. sid
my dear aunt, there Is one rather
| annoying infrmitr thai Arais my wife
has, which forgos 10 Eeatica sefore-
She il very deaf. xai alssoaxa Sc CA
hear nv VOICE to which she : aee1s-
TONED. in iss ordinary soaes yes ycu
yin Be obliged 10 spszk s1tr~nesy fsa1
| ia order 10 be beard; Al sorry fa- liz
Aunt Mary, il the gossasss Of her
heart, protested shss see r=tses Esesi
speaking load. sn.i 50 i xoaii s5a ID
her great pleasure
The carriage drove ap-oa The steps
vas nv wife-in the WINDOW WAS John
N. with f.ce - utterly solemn -
| If he had buried his relasives shst sfssr-
II
noon.
Il am delighted TO see you,- shrieked
my wife, and the policeman on the op
posite sidewalk started. and nv amt
nearly fell down the sseps.
kiss me. my DEAR" bax'ed my aunt !:
and the windows shook as if with the
fever and ague / looked at the win
dow; John had disappeared. Humsn
nature could stand il no longer poked
my head into the carriage aud went into
strong commissions.
When I entered the parlor my eife
was helping Aunt Mary to take off her
hat and cape; and there sat John with
his face buried in his handkerchief
Suddenly-"Di5 you have pleasant
journevs" went off my vile like pistol,
and John nearly jumped 20 his feet.
"Rather dusty was the response in
! war whoop. and the conversation con
tinued.
Tic neighto.s for blocks around mast
have heard IL; when | was ia tho third
story Of the building l heard every
word.
In the course OF the evening my aunt
took occasion TO say to me-
How loud your wife talks.
told her deaf persons talked loudly,
and that my wife being used to me. was
not affected by the exertion ard that
she was getting along verv nicely with
her.
Presently my wife said softly
"Alf, how very loud your aunt talks" !
YES" said l, "al deaf persons do.
You're getting along with ner fiueiy; /
she hears every word you say
And rather think she did
Elated with their success at being IN.
derstood, they went at i. hammer and
longs, till everything upon the mantle
piece ciattered again, and was serious.
" afraid OF crowd collecting in front
Of the house.
But the end was near. NY aunt be
ng of an investigating turn Of mind,
vas anxious to find out whether the
:xertion of talking was injurious To nv
wife. So
Doesn't talking so loud strain your
ungs" said she, in an unearthly whoop,
or her voice was not as musical as il
vas when she was young.
1T 10 an exertion,' shriexed my wife,
Then why do you do it," was the
scream.
Because because-you can't hear if
don't"
What" said aunt, rivalling railroad
whistle at the time
began to think it time TO eyac uate
he premises; and looking around and
eeing John gone, l stepped into the
'ack parlor, and there he lay fiat on his
ace, with his feet at right angles, and
lis body rolling from side to side with
liS uoS ponSo INV LIS Iiuss dBu IuOsl
Igonized expression Of countenauce, but
lot uttering a sound. l Immediately
md involuntarily assumed q similar at.
itude, and l think from the relative
position OF our feet and heads, and our
attempts to restrain our laughter, apop-
'plexy must inevitably have ensued, If
lcrrible groan which John gave vent to
n his endeavor to suppress visibility
had not betrayed our hiding place
In rushed my wife and aunt, who by
his time comprehended the joke, and
uch scolding as got then never got
'efore, and / hope never to get again.
! know not what would have been
{ John in his endeavors to be respectful
md sympathetic, had no, giver vent to
UGH groan and horse laugh, tina. all
,ravity was upset aud We screamed in
know it was very wrong, and all
hat, 10 tell such falsehood, but think
hat Mrs. Opie herself would have
sughed If she had seen Aunt Mary's
xpression when she was informed tho,