The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1874-01-21
IN Y = = U u
"a BOLT ALWAYS IN ORDER,

Squills declares that his wife is al.
ways taking some kind OF mean ad.
vantage of him 1.-The best woman in
the world, sir" says Sqnills, "but now
ana then she viii act mean, and she
can't help it,"
Lat Saturday at break kfast," said
Squllls "she was as smiling as II bun
die of chips"
"Are yourchops done to your liking,
SquilIs, dear?"
"Delicuusly, my love"
81 bruiled them my self, dear"
81 knew it was going to be hot, y
said Sgullls, and when | got inlu the
hail Il, ,ieave, Mrs S. was there with my
hat in one hand aud my overcoat in
the other.
"Squi'ls. dear" she began.
81 thought il time tn pitch in here"
said S, "so said quietly"
"How much. Mrs. fSpiils2 Out
with it, my 1--we"
MI. Squills," said she, don't he
mnman' y Sir. beg; not to say ridicu
lbhos Nho'N "ahiS a. Elm hitSo ~ kb
'n church ini the poor child really
isn't decent---'you are very sorry?'
we'll so YOU ought To be. Let her
say hor prayers at home" No, Mr..
>quilIs, she shan't stay at home, and
she shan't say her piaJ ers, and Mr, 5.
you re enough to aggravate IL saint,
and your conduct is disgusting, aud
it's enough to drive woman 10 bolt
right off to Chicago and get di-
vurce." r' Hr.T
81 thought this was a good tine to
ire off my pet joke" said s., ''sn |
sad, Mrs. squlils, IL bolt is always III
order Then ! bolted myself, for Mrs.
). comes of fighting family"
when | went home stLight, ,Gussy.
dear child, PLAYED all MY pet Often.
hach music, aud | knew / was in for
the dress, only | wanted to hold out
till morning, just for the look of the
hing" .. r
For five years after wa we're mar.
ried.' SAID S, Mrs. $. would persist iu
lonking under the bed for man. Ia
the same man every woman looks for,
| suppose, because they III do il.
We'll, failing Ia, tiDd the man, Mrs. s.
tin' lily gave him up in disgust aud
! took 10 something eIse, | suppose, y
said Squiiis, "ihty kll take, 10 some
Thing else sfierCtley can't find the
man under the bed. Mrs Squills's
weakness is boltiug the donr. Mr..
Squills, have yuu bolted the .door?' is
qwaysJhe Iast thing at night."y
'iTms sparticular enigIit,pA said S,
l"Mrs. 5. was very dlgnltied aud dis.
tant. N" iainiliariti,s, Mr.. $, If you
please; ypus wounded my feelings in
their lei,dtrest.psha This ihorning,and ]
cannot forget, though you dad, that
am your wife. sir, aud the mother OF
your children, Mr.. Squills. "
"'lhis was pitching IN uncommonly
strong. ylu know" said 5, ''nnd | was
ohnut Ia surrender, when Mrs ).
turned off the gas and then coiled
herself up in pet, somewhere IN the
outside bedraif. Not even good,
night. Sqplls.' | felt TTriiy had about
h, ! can tell you, but | went to sleep
J don't know how long had slept
hut some time, when experienced q
kick in the bach, AS if Il playful mule
had been fauning me. Perhaps it wa,
necessary, as always sleep hard
Mr., Squills," AT least heard Mrs
s. say, MIR 'Squills, have You boited
the door 2" -.H7aI '...f
Nav | leave it to any man." sale
> appealingly, whether that is Ih'
correct thiHg for the mother of fam
lily TO do? .Of course got up unc
h'lted that internal door. aud ! said
Mrs. s., why the deuce didn't yo,
think of boiling the dnor before wen
20 sleep, aud not tu wake up n,an il
the middle of a cold night 10 do il a?
And what do YOU suppose her ansNel
MAS Y"r
"'Wby. Mr., Squills,' said she. q
Thought bolt was always in order
"What did | say? What could
say? And the worst of il all, sai,
Squills, "I'll be hanged if she WASH
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