The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-11-05

means of telling a woman who shops
for pastime and one who shops in ear
nest, so you must be careful, be polite,
/ be spry, and never let a person go
without making purchase if you can
possibly help it.
If a person asks for something we
have not got, endeavor 10 make them
take something else. If a lady asks
whether four-penny calicOs or six-pen-
ny delaines will wash, say yes ma'am,
beautifully, l have seen them tried,
and if they say, are those ten cent fan
nels real shaker flanHels, or nine pence
hose all merinO, better not contradict
/ them, say yes ma'am, l've tried it
1 seen it tried-know they are, or similar
answers to the various questions that
may be asked, {" said Cheatum.
Yes, SIR" responded jeremiah, 81
understand you"
And, William saf
Jeremiah, sir"
"Oh, yes; we'll Jediah-Jeremiah, 1
would say-when you make change,
never take ten cents and TWO cents for
shilling, but give it as often as prac-
ticable; look out for the fractions in
adding up, and beware of torn shin
plasters and bogus coppers," said he
with much emphasis of manner.
'fI'm pooty well posted up, sir, mall
of that, psaid jeremiah.
Aud Jeems-pShaw- jacob ere
men, would say, in measuring always
put your thumb so, and when you
move the yardstick forward, shove
YOUR thumb an inch or so back; on
measuring close You can squeeze out
five yards from four and dthree-quarters
you understand; and always be watch
full that some of those nimble, light
fingered gentry folks don't slip a. roll
of ribbon, or pair of gloves into their
bosom pockets, or under their shawl.
Be very careful Henry eems---1 say,
said Cheatum. -,@. -
Being duly rehearsed, jeremiah
went to work The first customer was
little girl, who bought a yard of rib
bon for ninepence, and he stretched
seven-eights into Il full yard, which
feat brought down the viais of wrath
of the girls mother, whose tongue
laShed poor Jeremiah awfully. ia
He sold four-penny calico and war
ranted it to wash the next day it came
back and an old woman with it; the
eoIors and starch were all out, by dip
ping it il water, and she went ON so
that Cheatum was-glad TO refund her
money and get rid of her. .f.
A Young lady inquired for diapering
Jeremiah exhibited the article, and
upon her asking if it was real birds eye
he affirmed that il was, aud the very
best article, too, for he used it himself
The young lady WAS put to the blus
and left the store, and Cheatum repri-
manded him roundly.
Two dashing young ladies out shop
ping for their own diversion, gave Jer-
emiah a call he labored with hand
and tongue-he hauled down and eX-
hibfted Cheatunl's eutire stock. The
girls were about leaving, saying they
would call agaIn, and Jeremiah very
anIiably remarked do Iadies-call
again, like TO secure your custom"
The young ladies took this as an in.
suit. Their big brothers waited on
Mr.. Bump, and nothing but his hum
bic apologies saved him from a COW
hiding. ette51t
jeremiah saw n suspicious looking
woman enter the store, and after over
hauling box of gloves he thought he
saw.ilI her pocket pair. He inter-
cepted the lady as she was going out.
grabbed her by the pocket-the lady
resisted Jeremiah held on-she faint
ed-and jeremiah nearly tore herdress
off pulling out the gloves The lady
proved 10 be the wife ofa distinguished
citizen, and had purchased the gloves
ut another place. This was followed
by a lawsuit, and Bump was fined SlO0
and sent to the house of correction for
sixty days.
How many new clerks Nebuchad-
NJ zaar Cheatum has put through since
then, We know not, but jeremiah
Bump is now engaged in the practical
science of agriculture, and shudders at
the idea of young men from the
country being wanted in dry goods
store, if they have got to see the ele-
phant which he observed while he
was in Boston,. f0A