Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-06-18
Died With His Boots On.

Burgett has fought his last battle.
He is dead. He died in Mississippi
mud-hole, riddled with buckshot by
Order. Much to the disgust of the
late Burgett, he died with his boots en-,
for the reason that they couldn't get
him out of the mud-hole quick enough
to carry out his pathetic request for the
removal of his boots, Order having
been very industrious and precise in his
musket-practice. The late lamented
Burgett went for wool and got shorn.
Exactly how many Orders have been
sacrificed upon the affairs of Burgett' s
ambition is not known, but it is stated
that three Burgetts have died with their
boots on, and now pair of boots in a
Mississippi mud-hole is all that is left
of fourth Burgett.
1t happened this way: One fine
morning Burgett learned that there was a
Order a few miles up the river. So he
got out his skiff and stored it with pro-
visions. He took plenty of money with
him, thinking, perhaps, that he might
transact little business after he had
settled matters with Order. Having
provided himself with gun and two
pistols, and ammunition enough to
slaughter regiment of Orders, the ex-
petition started, and on the way Bur-
gett practiced on several wild pigeons
and turkeys. Burgett sailed leisurely
on among the snags and sawyers, happy
In the thought that each moment was
bringing him nearer to Order. He
had calculated to meet Order at
Harkerode's Landing, on the Arkansas
shore, and was not disappointed
Grider was there, with his shot gun, for
no Order or Burgett ever travelled
without weapon and ammunition. Bur-
gett had a skiff-load of weapons and
ammunition, and Order, being on
land, had all he could carry in carpet
bag. When Burgett's skiff rounded to
at the landing, Order was on the river
bank, calmly surveying the scenery
Burgett stepped briskly out, and, gath
ering up his gun, few pistols, and
what ammunition hecould carry, walked
up TO the bank.
The conversation was short and
touching. Order accosted the brist-
ling Burgett: "How are you, Henry
What do you mean by coming here this
way?" Burgett replied: CT do not
mean anything serious. How are you,
Jesse?" Order answered: 81 am
not very WE'LL" Thus far the converse
ton iSnot dissimilar to atwhich occurs
everv day between Smith and Brown
when they meet on the street. But
Burgett gave very sudden turn to the
conversation by remarking, "Then,
/ Il ko1-
fired at Order. This was the signal
for the battle of Burgett VS.. Order,
and Order won. The shot-guns being
exhausted, the stock of pistols was
brought into rcquisition and was used
industriously. At last Burgett's am
inunition gave out, while Order was
even with Burgett with an inning to
spare, and he improved his inning. AS
Burgett sought to get into his skiff,
Order sent his compliments in the
shape of charge of buckshot, which
were so literally distributed through
his anatomy that he had nothing more
! to say, but quietly laid down in the
mud-hole, and, after requesting the
crew of a steamer who had been wit
nesses of the affray to remove his boots,
he turned his face to the mud and
died.
Although it boots little to Burgett
now whether his boots are on or off, it
is somewhat sad to reflect that his last
request could not be granted owing to
the large number of Orders buckshots
and the rapid effects of the dose. We
presume that Burgett reasoned in a nice
metaphysical way that to die with his
boots on indicated point-blank that he
had died by guRpowder. He was
naturally mortified and somewhat dis
appointed to dieby Orders gunpowder,
and, if those boots of his could only be
got off in time, why then it would be a
point in his favor that he had died a
natural death, even if he were in mud
hole, full of Orders buckshots As pod
is with peas. This last consolation was
denied him, and sohe died with his boots
on, like the Burgetts before him. 1t is
now incumbent upon some surviving
Burgett to kill Order before he can get
his boots off, and so OH, until ali the
Orders and Burgetts are gone, leaving
behind them only large and miscella-
neous collection of boots, which by the
way will be much more valuable and
serviceable than all the Orders and
Burgetts that ever walked in them
Chicago Tribune.