The Arizona sentinel., 1874-11-28

A San Francisco man committed
suicide because a pictorial sheet
characterized him as an ''Old null
sance."
The hair of a lady in Montpe-
lier, VT, turned white in a single
night. She fell into a -four bar.
rel. g
Matte Smith, of Chesuncook,
Mass, stabbed herself with a PEN
knife because her young man
would not wait for her at the front
gate.
Forty per cent, of the school
girls in Indiana are named Maria;
half of them call themselves
Marian, and the other half Mari.
The Atlanta Neacs chants:
1.-The melancholy days have come,
The saddest of the year;
It's most too warm for whisky
A little too cool for beer "
A lady wants to know what is
the meaning of "ante" and "pass
the buck" Her matrimonial COM
paniOn uses it in his dreams, and
she is afraid it indicates typhoid
fever.
The Clearfield fair consisted of
a calf goose and pumpkin. It
rained so hard the first night
that the goose swan off, the calf
broke loose and ate the pumpkin,
and thief providing around stole
the calf, and that ended the fair.
Next to a rooster in rain storm,
or a man with his MOTHER n-law
on his arm, the most wretched
looking thing in the world is a
candidate who has just overheard
some friend wanting to bet three
to one that he won't be elected.
Said Detroit lady to small
boy whom she found crying in
the street the other day: "Will
you stop crying if will give you
penny?" mo-" said he; shut if
you'll make it two cents I'll stop
if it kills me-"
We do not remember to have
seen any epitaph in which mans
virtues are mOreS cOnciSely stated
than that upon the late Mr..
Mink:
The angels tonight in THAR mansions of
light
Are a waltzin' round Anthony Mink;
He was faithful and kind as any you'll find,
And gin was bis favOrite drink.
Dear Johnny's gone; he could not stay;
On heavenly meads he brOwses,
And now he sadly puts away
His little checkered trowse's.
Sunday night a policeman on
Baker street, passing a certain
house about 10 O'clock, saw man
drop from a window and heard
smOthered cries inside. He seized
~ the man for a burglar, but soon
found that he had the owner of
the house in his clutches. "Well,"
said the officer sit looked suspi.
cious to see you drop out of a win
dow that way" "WeIl," replied
the man, heaving a sigh. "when
the old woman gets her dander
up l amt particular about what
road / take to get out of the
house. Detroit Free Press.
At trial in Auburn, New York,
the counsel for the Government,
after severely cross examining a
witness, suddenly put on look of
severity, and exclaimed: Mr.. Wit
ness, has not an effort been made
to induce you to tell different
stOry?" GA different story from
what 1 have told sir?" 18th ats
what 1 meant. Yes, sir, several
people have tried to get me to do
so, but they couldn't' sNow, sir,
J want you to tell me upon oath
who those persons WERE" SWELL"
said the witness, 81 guess you've
tried bout as hard as any of 'em."
A shrewish wife, being very
ill, called her husband to come
ana SIT Dy nor DeuSluo. ms Is
a sad world. my DEAR" said the
wife plaintively. every" coin
cided the man. "Were it not for
you / should love to quit it," "Oh,
my DEAR" eagerly responded the
husband, show could you think I
would interfere with your hap
piness? Go, by all meansw The
lady got well.
:tMy dear Amelia" said dan
dy, 81 have long wished for this
opportunity, but hardly dare
speak now for fear you will reject
me; but | love you; say you will
be mine! Your smiles would
she'd" and then he came to a
pause; "your smiles would shed
:" and then he paused again.
Il