Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-04-30
SOME CURIOUS EPITAPHS.
a, Original Collection Of Odd Parasrap

SOME CURIOUS EPITAPHs.
An OrtginaI Collection Of odd PaFagraphs
| ON DRUMMER.
Tom Clark was drummer, who went to the war,
And was killed by bullet, and hts soul sent for;
There were no friends 10 mourn him, for his virtue.
| were rare.
lie died like man, and like Christian bear.
RARE spEclxxx.
My WHEY has left me, she's gone up Oh high,
She was thoughtful while dying, and said, Tom
| don't cry"
She was . great beauty, 20 every one knows,
With Hebe like features and hne Roman nose;
She played the pisny, and was learning ballad,
When she sickened and dic-did from eating YEA
| salad.
] RI0HTLY NAMED.
Down in this chasm lies poor sinful critter,
Her name was Poll Twist, and that name just 1T her
For In twisting her neck 10 swallow some toddy,
She twisted her breath right out Of her body.
Her bloated remains we hid under this sod,
But her 1um-sotted soul mono could hide from it,
God.
Mary somcrs was with us but twenty short years;
She departed this life mid torrent Of tears;
| She was . ane musician, and played well on thu
harp
30 thought the angels who hoated by in the dark;
4 They wanted = hsrpist to join their good band,
So seized her, and few to far better land.
An ONLY CHILD.
Our departed little Sally
Lost her strength, and could not rally;
She pined away, both night and day,
Then kicked the mortal coil away.
sENsrr1v8 TO THE LAST.
| Araminta Tayler Qhow We do regret herD
Departed this life for . state much better;
She was gentle and lovely and not over bold,
| But her age IL thing that remains untold;
She grew younger and younger - years passed away
Then . cyphcr became, whi!e nought went to decay
| The poor foolish creature, hating to grow old,
Has gone now, praise God! where years arc untold
And there may she revel, venerable sage,
With no one to bother her by asking her sge.
DEArH OF CHILD.
It vas spotted measles that killed our Daisy.
When think of her death It makes mo 60 crazy;
don't see why We should have 70 much trouble,
While others 20 ''scott free" and Of money have
double.
1Rurr1uL SUBJECT.
Az Death was sauntertng idly BY,
He spied the apple Of my eye;
With cruel aim, and no delay,
IN her hearts oore he put decay;
And like the fruit upon the tree,
She dropped down dead in spite Of me.
TO celebrate her fall this day,
Iraise stone to Mary Gray.
yArAL BLOW.
This is the place where rests Timothy Morse,
Who slid out Of life through . kick from . horse.
No four-eeged beast caused this dreadful disaster,
But . two-legged cuss kicked the life from his
master.
An uNRULY M1MBIR.
In this sacred spot my wife does lie,
She quit this world and went ON high;
Her tongue wsgged 10 fast for thirty long years,
That she died from exhaustion, while dropped =
tear.
Here lies . soldier, under this stone.
Stop, passer-by, and heave . groan;
0roan, did ssy7 No, hurrah! for ho IL happy, I
ween,
Singing Hail Columbia, Yankee Doodle, and God
save the Queen,
In the land Of glory, where he has become BY this
time 4 cherubim. Amen.
A COUNTRY SCHOOL r1AcHRR.
In this grave lies May Edwa1ds, = pretty school
marin,
Who ooaxed and aattered oil tho beaux, hut never
did them harm;
She was graceful evancscent, but she faded like the
dew,
Aud her sgs excuse me for telling t was just for
ty-two.
on DRuxKARD.
John Gray is dead! His corpse lies below,
But whore his soul ID, Of course, We don't know.
There were two paths to take-which he chose IL the
rub;
One led to glory, the other to Belzsbub.
His disease was strong drink ~ this settled tho
matter,
1t settled poor John, too-wo guess with the latter.
KILLED By HoRsE.
Absolom Charles Timothy Jones
Once was alive, but now here arc his bones;
He was thrown from his horse against IN old post,
And wss 20 badly smashed he gave up the ghost.
sIAKDERER.
Here lies IN old dame, with dangerous tongue,
She slsndered all her neishbors, and really thought
it fun:
She got 20 angry ono day, when in slanderous ht,
That blood-vessel burst and tho hitter got hit.
This epitaph was written by her victims in tho
town,
And this heavy granite stone was laid to keep her
body down.
FOOD FOR THE WORMS.
And now, dear friends, you1l sec him not,
For he lies in this grave to rot.
PRKCocIoUs CHILD.
Alas! Why should cry to-day
For one who could no longer stsy7
Ny darling little Hannah!
This child could read, and write, and spoil,
Could ssy her stables very we'll,
And play her mas Pisns.
God bless my little Hannah!
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