Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1874-01-08
IN MULTO.

N"HNu'h'eIeuVo W MS tremendous Iul
Mutations, sees ct TO conceal the majesti,
proportions and unapproaohabie charuc
.teristics of his important personality in :
Implicated diminution of modest initials
o. =. THE immortal, invincible, OIL
anything else Of the kind, IF you please
Sir" oh, he is a courageous genius too
DethroDing Jupiter .Tonans, he hastaker
possession Of the glowing FORCES of the
Cyclops. and is hurting from the frown.
ing brow of Mount Olympus SCATTERING,
rending, crashing, crushing. devastating
thunder bolts scattering desolation all
around" The Lilliputian editor of the
National Uuion, in dire t~repldation ha.
sought his 'littls bed" aud we are ready
to start 'wbere the wcodbine twineth."
Not satisfied with these appalling dem,
onstratious of. imperial power and gran
deur, (tor the r~apaeious soul of o. p. 4.
cannot rest content with a few spoliatioas,
however terrible and calamitous in their
diversified ramiications,, he o~verwhelms
Worcester, demolishes Webster, annihi-
lates every photographer of the modern
languages, smashes the Ginning bell of
English harmonies and literature into
countless atoms with the pondeous sledge
Of his intellectual ~omnipotence, and re-
susciates the classics Of Horace, Virgil
and Livy after they have slumbered and
mouldered in the dust and decay of a
thousand years, to all their primitive
richness, majesty, expressiYeness and
gr%andiloquence.
90. ?! T." is 'tsome' on the wing, too.
Watch him as he plumes those wide.
spreading pinions, and pitches from his
imaginary Chimborazo, sweeping the linz
itless spaces of the sky in gradually les.
soning circles like the noble and beauti.
full turkoy.buzzsrd hungcriug and search>
ing for the juicy rottenness of the carcass
We are in Profound doubt as to o. P. rs
realtharacter. Is he a Hercules CONS
miSsioned to cleanse the Augean Stables
of our congressional politics or the genu,
Antaeus of the fable able to 'tchaw up
and digest whole regiments and battal-
lions opposing his couquering way. Is he
a nondescript--a "What Is IT. with goril-
la f%ancies, whims, uppetites and predilec>
tons? We know nothing of the "%little
man of the National UniOn' and fear for
his safety. We agonize to learn. In
hoe swamp9 is our literal condition. In
the extremity ofour desperation, we calls
ed in . confidential friend on whose cool
counsel and good Judgment we have al
ways relied. We laid the case before
him in all its narrowing details, to which
he thus replied, Don't you know that
President Lincoln always met the rough
angles of life with smiles and good hu.
NOR? Besides he was a jovial joker, and
this was one of his happiest and best
stories: "a married pair were afflicted
with an uncommJnly dlminutive baby,
but what it lacked in size it made up in
vicious crossness. One night this abomi>
nable child had kept up a continuous
howl, stretching into the small hours,
when the patience of the father being ex>
hausted, he got up in the DARK, determin-
ed to take strong measures to enforce ST.
lenee. But as the cries continued una.
batod for some time, the sleepy mother
bawled out, John, why in the world
don't you spank that brat?' TO which
John replied, That is just what want to
do, my dear, but, the fact is, / can't find
anything to spank" Now there is 20. ?.
T., and there is tie baby, though must
confess it is exceedingly harder to End
anything to answer from the one than it
was to find spanking surface on the other"
we made one tremendous rush for that
"heathen Chinee' and set him up in the
leather business, with full stock, AS he pre-
cipitated himself through .he door. The
last we seen Of the scoundrel who had SO
Extensively Anatomical our friend, he had
planted a Taylor gun in the rear Of our
Office, was ramming down shot, shell,
%shrapnel, old chains, mill saws, grind
stones, &C., and printing with nitro-glica,
rine and SIGH like. We "lit out"
Dunn spiru1nas ct vivimuS, SperamuSc;
that and nothing more.
TSpneial oabIn IN tha I'm . N AVN TyTpunu I
GREENEvILLE, Tenn.
January 9TH, 1874.
o. p. r., has had a peculiar kind of
cholera morbus, which attending phJsi-
clans call ''diarrh1a Of words and consti-
patton of ideas" He has passed the cri-
sis. Lobelia, i3ecac, vermifuge and Mrs,
| Winslow's Soothing Syrup, with the aid
of such disinfectants as copperas, car
bolic acid and assaf9tids!w will bring him
safely through.
ED. NATIONAL UNION.
Much 'blige to YOU, Mr.. Little Man."
but you CAM fool us !th2t way. TOO
thin" The cholera has broke out in
Greeneville again. If another such a case
occurs telegraph us at once, 1--WE will pay
fer it). We want to 60 to the Springs any
how for our health.