The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-12-10
Disputing the Legal Existence Of a
C0urt,

Il NOuFts
l.fn-g fo- +ef.f. As f#
1t has been we'll remarked by distin-
guished historian, that "For ways that
are dark and for tricks that are vain, the
Heathen Chinee Is peculiar, y and this wise
| aphorisnl must be truthf1lly applied to
! the average California attorney The lat
| ter mentioned Individual Is wont 70 walk
In ways that are dark, whether it be hang
| ing around the City Prison and "heeling
| the peelers" in order that he may gobble
up all the paying drinks and enjoy mo-
nopoly of the business of the Police Court,
or whether il be in serving summonses in
divorce suits upon fictitious wives and en-
ploying a retinue of professional swearers
to rush his case through the courts and in
sure the payment of fat contingent fee.
Now and then, however, as meteors are
sometimes seen TO flash across the sky,
Young attorney, with ambition in his soul,
will blaze across the legal firmament, and
by a brilliant stroke of genius will create
con sternatiOn in the minds OF judges anu
spectators. A case in which one of this
class figured occurred in the Municipal
Criminal Court last week. Mr.. Blank,
young attorney of the last mentioned class,
appeared as counsel for villainous-look-
inc Chinaman who was called 10 receive
sentence on his third conviction on one
charge of grand larceny. All Shook was
told to stand up, and the Judge gaZed upon
him with an eve in which there was a
varied assortment of stern justice and com
miseration. Mr.. Blank slowly rose from
his chair, ran his bony fingers through his
raven locks. and, extending his right arm
i'm dignified and authoritative manner,
signifed his intention of making a little
at propose said Mr.. Blank, waving
his hand at the assembled spectators with
rare self-possession, II propose to contest
the authority of this court in the matter OF
the people of the State of California versus
my worthy and innocent client, All Shook
| propose, may it please yOur HOnOr-and
| don't think it will propose to estab-
lish the fact that this court has no 2uthOri-
ty and no legal existence, and that all its
acts since its assumed organization have
been null and void and non eomp0s De1I-
tis." .
Hold on, young man ~ exclaimed the
Court, with deprecatory motion ofthe jul
dicial hand, "that game won't play here
worth cent. While this court has the
deal the percentage remains in its favor,
and you needn't think you can hog the
game or bust the bank. May be you think
YOU'RE playing it smart, but the Court has
had its eye-teeth filed and sand-papered
long ago, and all traces of vegetation have
been carefully eXtirpated from its Opucu-
lar organs"
" MAY it please your Honor responded
Mr.. Blank, :" have long line of author
tiles to present. Here, James, bring IN
the documents. At these words little
boy about three feet high entered the
courtroom, bearing about fifty ponderous
tones.
"Now, your Honor" continued Mr..
Blank, s. move that the defendant be dis
charged on the ground that the court has
no legal existence"
The court adjusted its spectacleS and re-
marked gravely, y Oung feller, there are
times when patience ceases TO be virtue
At this juncture the Deputy Sheriff stood
behind the attorney ready and willing TO
take him by the collar and throw him
down stairs: the clerk, in an abstractcd
manner, laid his hand upon heavy lass
inkstand, and the porter stood at the door
with large-sized broom in his hand.
:. Nv FRIEND" continued the court, mild
| ly, il is now autumn. when the cotton
woods shed their leaves and nothing Is
green but the evergreen. But you make
a-ahem-a condemned mistake when you
take me for an evergreen. In all the eX-
Derience of this court it has never hap
pened that an attorney was fool enough
to request the court to legislate itself out
of office, and out of the perquisiteS and
emoluments pertaining to thesame. This
court was at first disposed to deal lenient-
ly with this depraved heathen but in or
| der to vindicate its authority, it imposes a
sentence upon your client of four years in
! the State Prison As for your authorities,
you may go to-ahem-to the supreme
| Court or anywhere else with them. This
court stands upon its dignity, sir, and if it
| did not respect your poverty it would i'm
pose fine of S1.50 upon you for CON-
tempt; but the court is smagnanimous, sir.
You may take your hand off his collar,
| Mr.. Sheriff The court now adjOurns for
/ refreshments.
! The LAWYER was seen half an hour later
! loading up an express wagon with his
authorities. Francisco Call.