The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1874-02-03
MISCELLANEOUS.

Ridiculous enough. A two-hundred
pound poetess is writing about what she
would do eff she were sunbeam"
A bachelor editor, who had a pretty
unmarried sister, lately wrote to another
similarly circumstanced, ssPlease ex-
change"
One of the strong minded tells us
''that there is an angel who watches over
every woman If this is true why is it
that these watching angels suffer so many
of the watched woman to go to the deuce
heels upward.
Could anything be heater than the old
darkey's reply to beautiful young lady
whom he offered to lift over the gutter
and who insisted that she was too hea-
Wy ?'sLor, missus," said he, 'I'se used
to lifting barrels of sugar.
A gentleman going up Sixth avenue
| New York, met laborer, to whom he
said "Win you tell me- if am half way
to Central Park p ''Faith an [ will, % was
the reply, s'if you tell me, where you
started from.
There is nothing so well calculated to
upset mans risibilities as to receive a
poke in the stomach, at 2 A. M. accom-
panied by the information that "That
front door is unlocked Fortunate wo-
man is she whose husband has such con-
troll over his mirth AS to not awake the
rest of the family while attending to the
matter.
According to the Danbury News, now
that winter has set in in dead earnest,
the thoughts of the benevolent instinc-
lively revert to the heather.
The customers of cooper in the
Highlands caused him a great deal of
vexation by their saving habits and per-
sistance in getting their tubs and casks
repaired, buying very little new work.
81 stood it long enough, however" said
he, 6 until old M'Cawbrie brought in an
old bung-hole, to which he said he wan
ted a new barrel made. Then I quilted
the North in disgust"
A Boston business man 'sfailed'' not
long ago, and sent for his creditors to
come up and see him. After the usual
comments and a cursory look over ''the
affairs" one of the creditors remarked
"Mr. what do you propose paying?"
"Well, responded the debtor, 81 hav-
en't thought much about it !! What are
they paying this year % '.Oh anywhere
from fifteen to twenty-five cents, was the
reply. "Well,' said he, ST think I can
pay fifteen cents ''How do you pro-
pose paying it ?" was the next inquiry,
81 think the stock will pay it, replied
the debtor, 'sbut rather than have the
affair go through, if there is not enough
realized from the sale of stock, I will pay
it out of my own pocket.
Taine, in his English Literature, y
gives the following description of words
in common use, ''Snob, !" the precise
meaning of which few understand, and
fewer still are able to define. He says
''The snob is the child of aristocratical
societies perched on the step of the long
ladder, he respects the man on the round
above him, and despises the man on the
step below, without inQuiring what they
are worth, solely on account of their po-
sition in his innermost heart he finds it
natural to kiss the boots Of the first, and
kick the second"
ga thing of beauty is jaw forever
as an American husband said of his
handsome scolding wife.
An Irishman being asked in court for
his certificates of marriage, showed big
scar on his head about the size of small
shovel.
No one living thing can go SO slow as
boy on an errand.
If a Bedouin should loose his teeth,
would he talk gum Arabic
A Lady made complaint to friedrich
the Great, King of Prussia. ''Your ma
jesty," said she, my husband treats me
badly '"That's none of my business, %
said the king. ''But he speaks Ill of you,
said the lady. ''That," said he, ''is none
of your business"
"Who's there ?" said Jenkins. one cold
winter night, disturbed in his repose by
some one knocking at the street door,
ga friend, was the answer. What do
you want % ''want to stay here all
night . 'sQueer taste-stay there by all
means, was the benevolent reply.
The biographer of Edward Payson
says: HE was often known to weep
under the preaching of the gospel when
ONLY three wears old" One of the crit