Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-08-01
nant;;n,.ea fno.n first rnaos.

anxiety, or zeal; to see the tenden-
cies which, if not stopped, would
break out into ruinous defense of
me: to stop them without seeming
to do 1t; to prevent any one question
ing me; to meet and allay preju-
dices against T. which had their be-
ginnings years before; to keep Sc
rene as if was not alarmed or dis
turbed; to be cheerful at home and
among friends when I was suffering
the torments of the damned; to pass
sleepless nights often, and yet to
come up fresh and fair for Sunday
all these may be talked about, but
the real thing cannot be understood
from the outside, nor its wearing
and grinding on the nervous sys-
tenn"
In still another letter, written for
the same purpose as the above Beech
er said:
"If my destruction would place
him (Fiton) all right, that shall not
stand in the way I am willing to
step down and out. No one can OF
fer more than that. That do ofrer'
Sacrifice me without hesitation II you
can clearly see your way to his safe.
tv and happiness thereby. In one
noint of view, l could desire the sac
rifce on my part. Nothing can pos
| sibly be so bad as the power of
GREAT darkness in which / spend
much of my time. look upon death
as sweeter far than any friend ]
have in the world. Life would be
pleasant if could see that rebuilt
which is shattered. But to live on
the sharp and ragged edge of anxi-
ety, remorse, fear, despair, and yet
to put on an appearance of serenity
and happiness cannot be endured
much longer. 1 am well nigh dis
couraged. If you cease to trust me,
to love me, l am alone-I do not
know any person in the world to
whom I could go.''
Mr.. Tilton yielded to the above
quoted and other similar letters, and
made no defense of himself against
the public odium which attached to
him unjustly.
XVII. That the marriage union be-
tween Tilton and his wife until bro
ken by Beecher, had more than
common harmony, affection, and
mutual respect. Their house and
household were regarded for years
by all their guests as an ideal home.
As evidence of the feeling and spir-
it which this wife entertained for
her husband up to the time of her
corruption by Beecher, the following
letters by Mrs. Tilton, written only a
few month before her loss of honor,
will testify:
MRS. TILToN TO MR.. TILToN
TUESDAY MORNING, Jan. %, 1868
My BELOVED : Don't you know
the peculiar phase of Christ's Char.
acter as LoUer is so precious to
me because of my conservation and
devotion to you? 1 learn, to love
| you for my love to Him. I have
learned to love Him from loving
you. 1 couple you with Him. Nol
| do l feel one whit irreverent. And
every day as adorn myself
consciously, as a bride to meet hel
bridegroom, so, in like manner, 1 lift
imploring hands that my souls love
| NAV be prepared. /. with the lit.
tie girls, after you left us, with
overfiowing eyes and hearts, conse.
Grated ourselves to our work and tc
| you. My waking thoughts last
night were of you; my rising
Thoughts this morning were of you,
l bless you; honor you; love you
God sustain us, and help us both tc
keep our VOWS.
MRS. TILToN TO MR.. TILToE.
SATURDAY EVENING, Feb. /, 1868.
| o, well 1 know, as far as am ca.
BILE, l love you. Now to keep this
fire high and generous is the ideal
before me. l am only perfectly con-
tented and restful when you are
with me. These latter months
have thought, looked and yearned
for the hour when you would be at
home, with longings unutterable.
MRS TILToN TO MR.. TILToN.
MONDAY, Feb, 3, 1869 O'Clock, A. NJ
What may I bring to my beloved
this bright morning? A large throb-
bing heart, full of love single in its
aim and purpose to bless and cheer
him? Is it acceptible, sweet one?
MRS. TILToN TO MR.. TILToN.
MONDAY, MoREMG, Feb. "a, 1858.
Do you wonder that I couple your
love your presence, and relation to
me with the Savior's? l lift you up
sacredly, and in that exhalted and
holy place where 1 reverence re-
spect and love with the fervency of
my whole being, whatever capacity
have I offer it to you. The closing
lines of your letters are these words:
81 shall hardly venture again upon
a great friendship-your love shall
be enough for the remaining days"
That word "enough" seems a stoi-
cism on which you have resolved to
live your life; but 1 pray God he
will apply you with friendships pure
and with wifely love which consul
meth not though it burn, and whose
effects are always perfect rest and
peace.
Again, in one of your letters you
close with Faithfully yours" That
word "faithfulness means a great
deal Yes, darling, believe it,
trust it and give you the same sure
ty in regard to myself. am faith
full to you, have been always, and
shall forever be, world without end.
Call not this assurance impious; there
are some things we know. Blessed
be God.
MRS. TILTON TO MR. TILTON.
HONE, Feb. as, 1868, Saturday Evening
All, did ever man love so grandly
as my beloved? Oh friendship, pub
lie affairs, all ''fall to nought" when
I come to you. Though you are in
Decorrah tonight, yet l have felt
your love, and am very grateful for
it. l had not received a line since
Tuesday, and was SO hungry and
l0esome that Itook out your letters
and indulged myself as at feast,