The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1874-12-23
misceilanrous.
%
i'.aE''IE4sSDN'S is0G.
BY SLOPtR.

arc i!U days Ike .h2 n!'! Gays,
and, indeed, there is no fiction SO
langhaJIc Is the real, humorous
incidents OF our boyhood days. at
least 10 rs. who can SO yiv!;!iy re-
member every look ana gesture Of
some comic adventure or incident,
over which at the time we 50 near
ly split our sides, that we can't
bear to have q woman's finger pok-
ing us in the ribs even TO this day
without getting excited.
With this brief prelude, | will
Introduce ''Pattcrson's Boy" Now
it has always been an unanswered
question, "Who struck Billy Pat
tcrson?" but l am fully prepared
to answer for "Pattcrson's Boy"
and soIcmniy declare that it wasn't
| who pulled the string.
In my younger days "Pattcr-
sons Boy" and used to go for q
swimming bath every Sunday
morning during the summer in the
Ohio river. We would 60 at an ear
ly hour, before sunrise, and, as be
was d sleepy-hcadcd youth, it re,
qnired Il voice of thunder to rouse
him from his snoring. l got tired
Of the strain On my lun s: and Of
seeing SO many night-capped heads
poked out ofthc neighboring win
dows, so I suggested to "Patter-
sons Boy" that he tie a string to
his big toe every Saturday night,
with the other end tied to the
fence, and could just quietly and
gently pull the string, and wake
him without disturbing the neigh
borS.
This plan worked we'll for a
time, but one night "Pattcrson's
Boy" could not find any other
string to attach to his toe: but q
strong, closely twisted cotton cord,
called in the West a troll-line,
strong enough to hold the largest
fish in the river so he tied the
string securely to his toe, and with
the other end fastened to tho
fence, he went to sleep in all the
sweet security, Of innocence, and
soon his childlike snore was ming
ling with the Joyous music of katy
dds and jar bugs. There was also
another innocent youth who lived
across the street from the patcr,
NIL mausion Of "Patterson's Boy
"The course Of true love never did
run smooth"
Now, of course, these boys
loved each other, but q little un,
plcasantness sprang up once be
tween them, owing to q little
game Of marbles in which ::Pattcr-
sons Boy" came out so far ahead
! that the other boy could never un'
derstand it ; and it had been 6
puzzle to him ever since, although
he never cast any imputation on
the honor Of "Patterson's Boy,
and, generously overlooking it: he
loved him as we'll as ever, anG
would 90 over and cat pic with
him, whenever they had baking
at PatterSon'S.
Ono morning, however, this
boy got up early to solve the pro
blcm of that game, and seeing the
string tied to the fence, he thought
that might throw some liyht or
the subject, especially as he kne"
the other end was tied to the toe O.
"Pattcrson's Boy" Now Pattcr
sons calf was lying down by th'
fence near the string, so the boy
went up quietly, and patted thu
calf on the head, and pctted it un
til he had gained its confidence BY
false protcnccs, and then he unfast
cned the string from the fence ant
tied it on over the little stubby
horns Of the calf; then he won
over and sat on the gate. post Il
watch the result.
In few minutes | came walk
ing along to wake 'Patterson
Boy" for our vim, and when
approached the fence the Cal
jumped up in fright, and startc'
on q run across the lot. l hear'
i terrible racket inside, and tn
tumbling over Of tables, and chairs
and then q yell from ;'Patterson'
Boy" as he came through the win
dow with nothing on but his shirt
and, with q kind OF "halfhammon
hop: step and jump, he went afte
that calf, while the tail Of his shir
sailed out on the breeze and foE
ped liked an election banner on
windy day.
Away they went around tn
yard, over, the wood-pile, throug
the garden, over beans, and pea:
and tomato vines, and then disar
peared in the corn, where the raj
tie of the dried corn blades an
the yell of "Patterson's Boy" wa
all that indicated anything inte
resting down there. But, rocket,
clack. they came back again, an