Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-08-27
QUE SUFFRENS WITH AGENTS.
BY JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE

BY JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE,
WE done pretty well this year, the
crops came in first-rate, and then Josiah
had four or five head of cattle 20 turn oil,
and he proposed should have a SEWN
machine. Though we don't COO at each
other as much as some do, my pardner,
Josiah il attached TO me with firm and
almost cast-iron dcyotcdDcss
But says TO him:
"Josiab, ] had rather Tirzah Ann
would have organ, because If she's
ever goin' TO learn TO play now Is the
time. And have got couple OF SEWN
machines that have run pretty well for
upwards Of----weIl, il bain't no matter
how many years, but quite number,
anyway"
But Josiah hung on TO that machine,
and Tirzah Ann seemed sot onto her or
gan, and finally Josiah ups and says he,
81 will get both on EN- And 1irZah
and me thought we would let him have
his head In the matter.
So ii got out that we was gOjn' TO buy
SEWN machine and organ. Wall, we
made up our minds Friday, pretty late
in the afternoon, and on Monday fore
noon ! was washin', when j heard "a
knock at the front door, and wrnng my
hands out of the water and went and
opened IL.
A sIicklookin' fellow stood there, and
] invited him in and set him chair.
81 hear you are a-taIkin' Of buyin'
musical instrument for your daughter"
says be.
No" says ], 1--WE are goin' to buy a
organ"
avail !" says he, - want to advise you,
not that ! have any interest In IL at all,
only don't want to see you imposed on.
IL fairly makes me mad 10 see Method.
list imposed upon. j lean toward that
persuasion myself Organs are liable TO
fall TO pieces any minute. There hain't
no dependence on 'em ut all; the insides
of 'em are liable TO break out any min
ute. II you have any regard for your
own welfare and safety, you will buy a
piano Not that have any interest in
advising you, only my stern devotion to
the cause of right Pianos lever wear
out"
Where should we go TO get onef" says
/, for didn't want Josiah to throw away
his property
wall" sayshe, as it happens guess
] have rot one out here in the wagon,
believe threw one into the bottom OF
the wagon this mornin' as j was IA comm
down here on business Pm glad now
that did, for IL always makes me feel
ugly to see n Methodist imposed on"
Josiah came into the house in Il few
minutes and ! told him about IL; and
says How lucky 1t Is, Josiah, that
we found out about organs before II was
too late
But Josiah asked the price and said he
WASH, goin' to pay out no 400 dollars, for
he wuzzent able. But the man asked If
he was willin' to have IL brought into the
house for spell--wc could do as we had
a mind to about buyin' It,; and of course,
we couldn't refuse, so Josiah almost
broke his back liftin' II In. And they
sot IL up in the parlor and after dinner
the man went away.
had just got back to my washin' agin
Il had TO put il away to get dnner) when
heard knockin' again to the front
door, and Ipullcd down my dress sleeves,
and went and opened II and there stood
a tall, slim Teller, and, the kitchen being
all chartered up, | opened the pnrlor
door and asked him in there. And the
minute he ketched sight OF that piano
ne just lifted up both hands, and says
he, =,
hYou amt got one of them heres"
He looked SO horriticd that 1t scairt
me, and says ], in almost tremblin'
tones,
"What Is the matter with 'em?" and ]
added in cheerful tone, "Wc hain't
sought IT,"
He looked more cheerful too Is ! said
I, and says he, "You may be thankful
nough that you hain't. There hain't no
lnusic In 'em at ALL Hear that" says he,
goin' up and strikin' the very top note.
II did sound fiat enough.
Saws L, There must be more music
in 1t than that, though ! hain't no Judge
at ALL"
avail. hear that, them and he went
and struck the very bottom note.
"You see just how II Is from top to
bottom But 1t hain't It's total lack OF
music that makes me despise planes SO,
IL Is because they are SO dangerous.
Dangerously" saws /.
"Yes in thunderstorms, you see,' says
he. liftin' up the cover. Here II Is. all
wire, enough for fifty lightnin rods
draw the lightnin' right into the room
Awful dangerousl No money would
tempt me to have one IN my house, with
nv wife and daughter | shouldn't
ieeu n wink thinkin had exposed EN-
such danger
Good Heavensr' says !, never
aourht on IL before"
nWall. now you have thought OF IT..
gu see plainly that an organ Is just