Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-08-20
4 SMART PEDDLER,

business, smart at his calling, and has sold
and put up more grave stones than any other
man in Somerset county, Me. Some years
ago, when he first went into business, there
was considerable competition around him,
and he was obliged to look sharp for every
chance. He kept himself posted on the obit-
uary column Of all the local papers. The news
of death was sure to call him to the bereav
ed family about as soon his team could carry
him there and after consolng the mourners
he would gradually come round to his busi-
ness, and he seldom left without engaging to
furnish the gravestones.
Hearing that old Mr.. B had "lcst his
wife, away up in the town of Embden, he was
soon on the spot. He found the old man in the
field, trying to plow with his oxen without a
driver-a feat easily accomplished with cattle
that are trained, but BIS "critters" were
wild, and bothered him considerably. Here
was chance for John his boyhood had been
spent on farm, and he quickly took the goad
and set the plow to moving right merrily, with
old B holding the handles. Around the
lot they went, John driving the oxen and
trying to draw the old man into conversation,
but he was crusty, and replied only in mono
syllables.
Finally, John remarked to the old fellow
that he undersood that he (B-) had lost bis
wife; and then commenced to pour out phials
of sympathy for B. that his years of prac-
tice in gravestone selling had given him; but
still the old man would only grunt in reply.
At last John came to the main question, as
they stopped moment for the cattle to
breathe, at the corner:
"Wouldn't you like to engage nice set of
tombstones for your wife?"
"No" fairly snorted the old man. "Let
the miserable skunk that has run away with
her pay for the gravestones; won't!"
So John resumed his seat in the buggy, and
returned to the solace Of his home.
WHAT A LAWYER WAS SELLING.-A mem
ber Of the Saginaw county bar was recently
in one of our thriving interior towns on pro-
fessional business. In the office of the hotel
he was accosted by very agreeable gentle
man, evidently of the genus drummer" who
wanted to know "where he was FROM" The
legal gentleman, not exactly relishing the
idea of the strangers familiarity, answered,
shortly, "From Detroit" The next question
was, "For what house are you travelling ?"
For my own" "You are? May I ask your
name?" "You may" enjoyable to
thelawyer, embarrassing to the other. "Well,"
desperately, "what is your name?" "Jones"
"What line are you in?" 81 don't understand
you, sir" "What are you selling?" impa-
tiently. "Brains,' coolly. The drummer
saw his opportunity, and looking at the other
from head to foot, he said, slowly, "Well, you
appear to carry deuced small line of sam
pies" Blackstone says he owes that drummer
one
SHAVING A GRANGER. who visit
barber shops would give premium for a
barber who would not insist upon them having
their chair cut, or submitting to "sham-
poo" when they only wished to be shaved.
A man who called recently at tonsorial
establishment on Smith6eld street succeeded
in nonplussing most persistent knight Of the
razor. The barber insisted upon giving the
transient customer shampoo" and Il. G.
peremptorily demanded why such a request
was made. Then a colloquy ensued some
thing like this:
Barber-"Your heads very dirty, sab !"
II. C.-"Well, 1 know it is, and want it
dirty"
Barber-"Want it dirty Why, what
foh?"
T.C.-"Well, I'm granger, and want
to have soil on my head p
The barber ceased his importunings and