Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-05
THE GRANGE.
A Peep Into Its Mysteries.
Full Expose Of the Initiation
Ceremonies.

The editor of a western pape
e entered the Grange while under tn
5 influence of "corn juice" and put
fishes the following account of hi
: initiation, after he had gotten owe
his comatose condition:
On being brought into tn
ante-room of the lodge Green
grocer Temple, No. 10l) | was TOLD
that | had been balloted for and &C
cepted. My informant. who wa
securely masked by what L after
ward learned was a large burdocI
leaf, perforated with holes for the
ewes, told me that if l valued my
life ii would be necessary for me tc
strip. AS / did consider that OF
considerable worth to me, and as he
italicized his wishes by c~arelessly
playing with a seven-shooter, l with
drew from my garments with eager
ness. My masked friend then fur
nished me with the regalia of the
first degree-called s'The Festive
Plowboy"-which consisted merely
Of one large cabbage leaf attached
to a waistband of potato vines. In
this airy costume | was conducted
to the door, where my companion
gave three distinct raps. q was
securely blindfolded by binding a
slice of rutabaga over each eye.)
A sepulchral voice from within
asked: "NVho comes?n
My guide answered, "A youthful
agriculturist, who desires to become
a Granger"
Sepulchral voice. Have you look
ed him carefully over?
Guide. 1 have, noble gatekeeper.
~Sepulchral voice. Do you find
any agricultural marks about his
person?
Guide. i do.
Sepulchral voice. What are
they?
Guide. The candidate has caroty
hair, reddish whiskers, and a turn
up nose.
Sepulchrai voice. IT'S well. Why
do you desire to become a Granger?
Guide, answering for candidate).
That l may be thereby the better
enabled to harrow up the feelingsof
the ~rascally politicians.
Sepulchral voice. You will bring
in the candidate. Ny worthy strip
ling, as you cannot see, / will cause
you to feel that you are received at
the door on the three points of a
p%itchfork, piercing the region of the
stomach, which Is to teach you the
three great virtues-iaith, hope, and
charity-faith i'm yourself, hope for
cheaper farm machinery, and char
ity for the lightning-rOd peddler.
You will now be harnessed, and in
representation of the horse, Pegasus,
will be tested as TO endurance and
wind.
The candidate is here attached to
a small imitation pillow by means of
a hemper harness. 4 dried pump
kin vine is put i'm his mouth for a
bit and a bride; he is r,ade to get
down on all fours; the guide seizes
the bride, and, urged on by a
Granger armed with a Canada
thistle, which he vigorously applies
at the terminus of the spine, the
candidate is galloped three times
around the ROOM. While making
the circuit the members arise and
Get up and dus', YOU bully hoy
Who wouldn't be a Grange?
II the ~tl,istle's prick don't cause you joy,
IL. FAIL no NnH r,r0zs H. -.
After this violent exercise he is
rubbed dry with corn-corbs, bees
waxed where thistled, and brought
up standing before the Great Chief
the Most Worshipful Pumpkin
Head
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
Why do you desire to become Gran
ger?
Candidate, answering for him
self That l may learn to extin-
guish sewing-machine agents.
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
Have your hands been hardened
toll?
Candidate. Not extensively; but
then / am not running for office.
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
'Tis well, for our lodges contain sew
eral who are supposed to be ready to
sacrifice themselves for the good of
their constituents. Do you feel
smart this evening?
Candidate. Yes; where the bus
lie goes n
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head,
.sava.ely). Give me a chaw of to-
packer!
Candidate, searching himself
thoroughly, but as there is no place
about him to stick a pocket, tries to
explain, but the Most Worshipful
Pumpkin Head interrupts him
with
"Never mind, my dear young
friend-I am well aware that i'm
your present condition you can no
more furnish your friends with the
weed than Adam could be comfor-
table in a plug hat and tight boots.
is merely to teach you the great
essen of economy-doing to others
Is you'd like to have them do to
you. You will now be conducted to
he Most Eminent Squash Producer,
who will teach you the grand hail