The Portland daily press., 1874-09-17
IFrom the Cincinnati Saturday Night.]
ssGriS."
Hiring New solicitOr-How He Brought
i'm an Adveriisement-Tahiug it out in
Trade.

He wanted to help edit. He said he al
ways wanted to work around newspaper,
and he hoped we would give him a job. We
told him good many had tried to work
around us, and good many had succeeded
in working around Us, but we were getting
sharper as we got along. As Beccher says,
our education was BEGINNING - tell Cd us.
Then he begged, if we couldn't let him edit,
that we would set him at something else.
We pondered spell, and then asked him if
he eve led canvassing. He said yes; he
worked in pork-house one winta ar, and can
vessed hams, but he never liked it. THOUGHT
he would prefer +, canvas trunks, or what
was infinitely better, canva back ducks. We
explained that we meant canvassing for ad-
ver.ising-going among business houses and
prevailing on them to advertise in the Satur-
day Night. Asked him if he didn't think he
could go out and bring in an advertiser that
He said he thought he could, and looking
out of the window he exclaimed, ''there goes
one, now-back in a minute" and flew down
stairs in about two jumps. In few minutes
after there wss a frghtful rumpus on the
stairway, mingled with cries Of ''Come right
along" "Lem'me be!'' 'sBound to have yep
''Teli ye I'll bust yer head if you don't leg
go!' We hastened to the spot and found
or new solicitor making the most strenuous
efforts to lug the portly form of our old friend,
DR.. Kerr, the System Renovator man, up
stairs, Notwithstanding his struggles and re-
mOnstrances.
''What are you doing there? - we clied
'Bringing in an advertiser" our solicitor
shouted. "and it's the toughest job ever un-
dertook."
The doctor released himself with a sturdy
kick that sent our solicitor rolling to the foot
of the stairs, and then wanted to know "what
in thunder's goin' on"
We explained that it was a new solicitor we
had jrst engaged, and he was little too en-
ergetic, but meant well. The doctor said the
papels had lugged him in in a good many
ways, but never in that way before.
While we admired the pluck of our new
man, tackling one of the heaviest advertisers
in the city, yet we could not approve Of his
way of bringing him III. We made him apol-
ogize to the doctor, and then gave him fur-
tIer instructions before letting him starr out
again. He had developed an energy and
courage in graphing an advertiser which we
thought would render him a valuable adjunct
to such concern as ours. Advertisers rath-
er like boldness and audacty in a solicitor.
We told him he had future before him. AZ
ter soliciting for newspaper few years he
might become newspaper proprietor HIM
sell, and wind up by soliciting alms. This
encouraged him greatly.
we told him if he couldn't set people to ad-
yert;se for cash to take it out in trade. He
said he knew now what to do, and staI Led
away. We didn't hear anything of him for
four DAYS, and then he came in with the worst
head on him we ever saw. 1t was in the
shape of snuff-bladder, and would hold
about bushel.
''What have you been up 2" we inquired.
ssTaking it out in trade," he managed to
artieulate He said he induced boxing
master to put card in Saturday Nigh one
year, aareeing to take it in trade, and this
was ali there was lef6 of him. He said he
had traded it only about half out, and he
wanted some one else to go up and get the
rest of it.
1t was the most extraordinary instance of
zeal in a solicitor we ever encountered. That
wasn't all. He had thirty-two advertise
ments of separate and distinct medicines, all
of which he had taken out in trade. Aud he
had taken the medicine too, every bit of it.
| He had engaged to advertise about dozen
,yuack doctors and take it out in vaccination,
ani he was tattoo'd like South Sea Islander.
If all that vaccine matter takes it will take
him along with it. He hadn't tooth in his
head. 'ca use he had secured the patronage OF
half the dentists in town and endeavored to
tr.de it all out himself.
When he said to dentist: Advertise and
take it out in trade" the dentist Immediately
bounced him into chair, clapped his forceps
into his mouth ani .ierked out tooth. Dem
fists don't like to allow such accounts to run.
'sWas that all?' we calmly asked. No, he
| said, he got an advertisement from some hfty
| saloons, and took that in trade. Ihls con-
l fused him a little, and made him feel ike a
l bonded warehouse. He went up TO the
| Ninth-street Station-house, and solicited an
| advertisement of Captain -, agreeing tc
/ take it out in trade.
The captain said the station-house was suffi
l eiently advertised already, but if would trade
I out it was all right Then he locked me uI
| and kept me twenty-four hours.
We felt it Yves no use trying to discharge
| that man. We had only TO let him go or
taking advertising out in trade and he would
soon make finish of himself, so when bt
asked if he should try it again, we said
Certainly, keep right on the way you have
begun, and it's all right"
We afterwards heard him at the gas-offict
soliciting Barney Cunningham for an adver
tisement, agreeing to take it in trade. Ill
had patent pail in his hand to carry gas IN
and said if they would advertise he woull
take a pail full now. Then he disappeared
for week, and we ascertained that he ha'
| secured an advertisement for Old John RoD
| inson's show, and was taking it out in clrcu
| tickets every one of which he was using him
self.
A catastrophe at length occurred to ou
solicitor. as we anticipated. He had trade'
out an advertisement was Bradford d Co.
dealers in mill stones, and, after selecting on
of the largest sizes, started to roll it down t
our Office, when it toppled over on top of hin
and smashed him as fiat as a pancake. He
now reposing in casket made expressly 70
him by Cane, Breed & Co., the only services
BILE thing he has been able TO Stake out i
trade"