Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1874-08-28
Family Quarrels

q
-------
Family Quarrels
alt is among some of the contradIc-
tions of the human heart that family
ouarrels are the most bitter of all the
auarrels flesh is heir to, as well as the
longest-lived The gulf that has once
been made never seems to do more than
skim over, and that never sufficiently to
bear the weight of an argument. 1t is
true, there are great facilities afforded |
for family quarrels in the nature OF
things one cannot hide her weaknesses,
her defects. from the scrutiny OF the
members of her family; they leak out
through the tones of the voice, the flash
of an eye, through a thousand unsus'
pected channels. Each becomes so lntI-
mate with the others little tricks of van
its and ostentation, with the others as
pirations and failures, that it amounts to
nearly the same thing as a mental and
moral photograph, and supplies materl-
al from which to draw the provoking re-
tort or the more ungenerous twit. This
acquaintance with the traits and tenn
peraments of those composing one inn
mediate circle is lesson that is present.
ed to us every day, till we have learned
| it with as little effort as we learn the
shapes and scents of the flowers, but it
is knowledge that we are apt to use in
the day of wrath with no fragrant pur-
pose; perhaps it is one of the cases, too,
in which little knowledge is danger
Gus thing, since there are fountains of
reserve in every nature wh ich no eye but
Gods is kind enough to fathom.
"It may be that one cause of family
difficulties lies in the fact that one has
no redress from ones own. We may be
uniustly dealt with, misunderstood, and
:" put upon among our friends, but
since it will only aggravate matters to
proclaim the truth from the house tops,
there is no alternative but to bear, or to
effervesce in good quarrel, which some
people fancy has the virtue of clearing
the atmosphere like thunder storm,
but which we fear has rather the effect
of generating fresh trouble, for the same
reason that lightning is apt to strike a
second time where it has. struck once.
] And perhaps that which serves to render
family quarrel most bitter and difficult
of adjustment is the reflection that it j:
! ones own familiar friend who has taken
this advantage, has rewarded devotion
with treachery, has searched out ones
hidden sin, and dealt scorniully with it
/ the blow would fail to cut to the quick
to arouse such indignation, if we loved
I the hand that dealt it less"
e The writer of the above in Harper
t Bazaar adds the following sensible rehee
: tions:
"One of the most embarrassing posi-
( tions is that of the person who stands il
g the gap, neutral between the two branch
, es of the family quarrel, aud is oblige'
e to listen to both sides in turn, and t
t furnish apologies for the opposing par
n ties, as thorough going peace-make
0 should. 1t may be said that only hyp
8 ocrite could fill this position; but as
e quarrel, like everything else, has tw
y sides, the person who stands in the ga
8 with single-mInded intent might do muc
t. to disarm the opponents, since he pei
rs ceives the amount of wrong IN bot
1T cases, and is enabled to strike balanC
and clear away misconceptions; but
e, must ne eds be brave soul who sha
1f undertake to adjust these family ditfe
t. ences. Perhaps one of the most frui
~ full sources of family jars is to be foun
D. in money (; and yet it seems stranl
el enough that affection, which is natur
ID attribute of the soul, should yield to Il
3, outward accident of filthy lucre; but
SO nancial dealings among relatives so G
a ten result in alienation and distrust th
it has almost grown into proverb. o.
is would naturally suppose that amor
re. those possessed by the true family fe'
Of ing of unity the interests would be
'ce nearly identical that nothing of m
terial nature could effect a separation
rs but when we see people at loggerhea
ar with their own flesh and blood, becau
ch that flesh and blood makes claims viii
sn, it is not compatible with selfish ease
! | fulfll-when we see brothers and sist'
me at swords point, fguratively speakir