The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-03-06
HUMOROUS.
"a little nonsense now and then
Is relished by the wisest men y

AhS lapSS VI etHle-OlQ coat tails
What comes after cheese 2-mice
A bad omen-to owe men money
: True to the core-a good apple
Agricultural mending potato
: patches.
How to get a fOot-hOld-take 8
bootjack.
Why is a mouse like load Of hsyi
Because the cat1 eat it.
II Self-made men are characterised
o for worshipping their maker.
le What State is round at both ends
e and high in the middle Ohio.
IS The proverb says %its never too
, late to mend nor too early.
! Water reddens the rose-whiskv
: the nose, and tight boots the toes.
How to make a hct-bed-go to
bed with cigar in your mouth.
Sambo, why am 'toxication like a
wash bowl Cause its de-basin.
A docter told a sickly patient he
was to take a walk on an empty
stomach, and was asked-"WhOse
empty stomach"
If a woman changed her sex,
what religion would she assume ?
A he-then.
The sentinel who did not 90 to
sleep On his watch, left it at the
pawnbrokers.
| Young women should be careful
to set good examples, for young
men aviU follow them.
An Irishman convicted of stealing
rcofee, was asked what he did with
it2 "Made tea, yer hanar," said Pat
'fWhat is pride, my son p asked q
parent. walking with cane, when
you amt lame" replied an intelligent
son.
owe all owe something to our
country" said the Briton who went
abroad without paying his income
tax.
Give the devil his due, Pat, and
where would you be ?-"Faith it's
myself would be left alone, entirely"
said Pat.
A Pittsburg man has been mar
ried eleven years, and complains
that he hasn't had the slightest
chance at the control her ship.
Two pairs of stairs are necessary
to every newspaper Office in North
Carolina-one for the editor to 90
down as the caller comes up the
other
An instructor asked a Freshman
girl why beer in French was femin-
inc. She replied that it was proba-
bly, owing to the fact that boys liked
it so well.
A West Troy policeman resigned
because he couldn't get permission
to attend dog fight, and bet on the
winning pup. Americans never will
be slaves.
Leigh Hunt was asked by lady
if he would venture upon an orange.
''Madam," he replied, ''I should be
happy to do so, but am afraid Of
falling off"
The hoosiers like work when it is
disguised as fun. The other day
twenty of them handled over thirty
cords of wood to get rabbit, which
escaped after all.
The following question is respect
fully addressed to the clergy: Wheth-
er a person who sits in the gallery
ofthe church is responsible for deeds
done in the body2
The DaHbury Ne1cs say :-sThe
use of tobacco is a disgusting habit,
It weakens the frame, beDHmbs the
faculties, and what is far worse, it
keeps up the price"
Woman is like iyy-the more you
are ruined the closer she clings to
you. An old bachelor adds: "IVy
is like woman, the more it clings to
you the more you are ruined.
Now they want to know if one of
the Siames twins had been convicted
of murder in the first degree, what
would have been done about it.
In Carthage, Ind, boys under the
age Of 16, are, by city ordinance,
prohi bited from chewing tobacco.
Nothing short of lock jaw would
have the desired effect in our city.
A lady had several hundred dol
lars worth of point lace clipped of
her clothing by an adroit thief,
while she was at church, singing
"Strip rne of my robe Of pride, clothe
me in humility"
An Iowa woman concludes an an
ti-sufferage letter as follows " You
may look at this matter in what
ever light you will, but simmer it
down and it is but a quarrel with
the Almighty that we are not all
men,"
"Who's there p said Jenkins, one
cold winters night, disturbed in his
repose by some one knocking at the
street front door. "a FRIEND" was
the answer, "What do you want ?"
'Want to stay here all night" "Its
queer taste-stay there by all
means" was the benevolent reply Of
friend jerks.
A young man in Scranton, Penn
sylvania, has said, Dearest wilt thou
be mine p to five women, and four
of them are suing him for it. The
Lakawanna Valley has always been
famous for its number of mines.
An editor in a small town in Him
ois, who attended an apple pairing,
became imbued with the whirl of so
ciety, and this is how it effected him;
awe are in the midst of the season
for parties, dancing, mirth and fes-
tIyity. The resined hair Of the
horse travels merrily over the intes-
tines of the agile cat, evoking music
which the impatient feet trip gayly
on the floor"
a Terrible ENHANCEMENT.
"I married q widow who had a