The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1874-06-16
Housecieaniug Humors.
WESTERN EDITORS EXPERIENCE OF TIL
ANNUAL MISERY.

We have Just commenced now, and |
write these few lines on the bread board
With a bureau draw for seat, while
Long Primer is playing horse in the par
lor with the bust Of Andrew Jackson and
Small Plea is dipping lace curtains into
pail of whitewash.
We don't clean one room at time,
but 90 at it in wholesale way and rake
the old house from floor to roof. Three
mornings ago when L started down my
wife said in her innocent way that she
guessed she'd do a little housccleaning
aud that we'd have picked up dinner.
When | returned homo the 5edstcads
were circling around the back yard,
the kitchen stove was buried under the
straw beds, the curtains were down, win
dows out, carpets up, and four Africans
we're mildly drawing their whitewash
brushes over the ceiling and having an
animated discussion about cremation.
My wife said she'd have it so clean that
a fly would break its neck slipping down,
and she was so enthusiastic about it that
l cheerfu!ly ate dinner on the mantlepiece
and made no remarks when | found the
cork of the camphor bottle and the froat
door key stuffed into the spout of the
coffee pot When left the house Small
Plea wos hanging to the pegs of the hail
tree and singing "Mollic Darling and
Long Primer was trying to wipe the
whitewash out of his left eye with a
chrome of the Yosemite Valley, but my
wife said | needn't stay on their account
l came up at night believing that
everything would be regulated, but the
bedsteads in the back yard had increased
in number, chromos were hanging to the
clothes line the clock was being dissectcd
in the alley by youth of great inventive
genius, and carpets. chairs, stairrods,
looking glasses, crockery. brackets and
rolling pins were so piled in together that
my head swan.
"I'm hun yiug IL up, said my wife in
joyful tone, as she waved her hand At
the painters, a scrub woman and Car.
penter who had been added to the force.
| sat down on the tea kettle and had
supper on the north end of a spring MAJ
tress, and when | broke tooth Oh a
glass agate cancealed in biscuit and
didn't say a word, Mrs. Quad threw her
arms about me and said she might have
married a man with ightnipg tempe.
felt hattcred, and went in to enoour-
age the whitewashers and painters They
said if it didn't rain, or wasn't tco cold,
or too hot, and they kept in good health,
and other jobs didn't distract their attcu-
ton, they'd finish up within week OF
two, and one Of them smashed vase and
another punched out SO pane Of glas;
by way of emphasis. had blue paint
on my coat tails, white on my elbows ar1
straw color on my knees when | got ou'
and bad boy yelled out
"IIere comes another of them varicg a.
ted sunhowers
We didn't sleep much that nigh
Somehow or other, no matter how hono y,
q man is, he can't rest very well on d
straw bed on the floor, with stove cover
gliding around under his back and tca
spoons, potato mqshcrs and pint bash
feeling Of his toes dreamed that
was a panel bedstead on castors, and
had bet OF i've dollars with the parlot
e.ova that could lick the front bedroom
bureau ia just two minutes, but beior
the mill" came off the spice can roll
down into my ear and woke me up,
Next morning Small Plea, who was j.
bounding spirits, essayed lunch off Of
: half pound Of putty which the painteI
had lett sticking to bronze bust 90
Demosthenes. and Long Primer sat dow
on the butcher knife and got up howlip +!
but my wife said that this was worl'
of trifing incident and told me to 90 oi
feeling happy. Before got down tow
| found the sugar spoon in my vest pock
ct aud towel hitched to my coat tai
but [ went on. At noon there was q
extra painter on hand, another scrubbin
woman for the stairs and an orphan be
=, about thirty.six years old had been hire
y to empty the straw beds on the front stel
and tear out the pantry shelves. W
havn't got through yet-in fact this
chapter |. There are eleven more chal
= ters to come, and tonight | am going t
i. sleep on the table, Small Plea in six
i, gallon jar and the rest of them on Il,
: window sils, as the kitchen floor has ju
been painted and the paper-hangers doh
/. want the other rooms mussed up until IL
paste dries and the paint sets.
LATER-MIDNIGuT.-l fell asleep al.
dreamed that | was silver.plated slS
bottle revolving castor and that the sou
: > tureen called me liar. | went to z
: for him and awoke on the floor, with IL
elbow in pan Of -four and the mei
broier wildly clutching me by the throa
+. What the morrow will bring forth don
know NJ. QuAp.
A Mrs Oliver Of Dubuque recent
gave birth to "hummipg bird" of
baby, girl weigh: only one and on
!. half pounds Yet it is vigorous and tax
o its proper food with as much evident re
It ish as young infants usually do. 1t
but seven inches long, and finger ril
worn by one of the visitors, who called
u pay their respects to the little strange
}, passed over its hand, and would ausw,
d for bracelet.
la a Sunday. school, the other da
= when the basket was handed round for
% collection for the heather, the teach
was somewhat surprised to find ban
note in it. Closer examination reyoalo
IS the fact that it was counterfeit. TT
10 inquiry among the boys brought to Il
n front one who acknowledged having han,
ed in the spurious scrip. Yes" he sal
"but didn't think it made any differen
y to the heather they could pass it of
" AN lNcIDENT.-A pleasant incide
occurred as the carriage containing Il
Presidents daughter and her husbaI
was leaving The door of the White Hous