The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-03-05
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


WAsHERwoMAN's motto-While "there's
life there's SOAP"
THERE is nothing that will change
man so much as a great grief, unless It Is
shaving of his mOustache.-DGHbuTy
A MALICIOUS person says that cotton
sheets and newspaper sheets are alike in
the respect that great many people lie in
them.
For selling blind man pair Of boots
of different numbers, Thomas McDermot.
of Providence, r. l., Ianguishes in jail for
ninety days.
AN old miser, who was exceedingly par
simonious. was obliged, reluctantly, 10
conSult a pbysician. What shall do
with my heads" asked the man. It's SO
Glizzy seem to see double" The doctor
wrote a prescription and retired, saving,
- When vOu see double you will find re-
lief if you count your money"
An applicant for old clothes at Pine
street residence, Saturday, received half
dozen soiled paper collars with the advice
=. to turn them and chalk the edges.
This might be called generosity without
Judgment. and is in keeping witt! the act
of a soldiers mother, during the late war,
who sent him i'm a Christmas box an ele-
CANT pittOon.-DaHbtuy.
WHEN clergyman of the Church OF
England was about to give dinner TO
some of his clerical brethren his butler
asked whether the expected guests were
High Church or Low Church. His mas
ter said: Why do you ask that queS-
tion?' The butler answered: because
if they be High Church we want more
wine; but if they be Low Church we
want more wittles."
HERE is the most beautifully bad eOnun-
drum which we have ever met with, and
we have rarely met with good one:
What is the difference between a gauze
dress and drawn tooth? Answer (but
really, we hope it will be well understood
that we didn't guess it; and std better
understood that the eOnundrum Is none OF
ours): Because one is tooth in and the
other Is tooth out.
THE following dialogue was overheard
the other day in Vicksburg: ''Say. Jim,
Use soticed sOmefin' in dis town. is you -
Il dunno whedder is or no, 81; what Is
it ~ ''It's dis {: Is you noticed when n
strange darkey comes here dat mounts to
sumtfn', de white folks say, who is dat
cOlored man = but de cullud people say,
who is dat nigga? Jim, nigga amt
got no sense, no how" 'Dat's so, 81
shO's yer born ~
An orator in Los Angeles, California,
began recent speech with series of CO.
nundrums. thus: ''Are there no dynamic
antagenisms in the inanimate world! Is
perfect harmony the universal law? DO
all the elements above, around, and be-
meath us act in Platonic unity?' At this
point an old forty-niner from Phoebe re-
marked that the speaker had better button
his lip or proceed with the lecture.
YESTERDAY the little son of one of our
citizens, while playing with his sister,
bright, sweet child of five summers, got
hold of his fathers gun, which haG. been
left carelessly standing in the kitehcIr by
the thoughtless parent, pointed the gun at
his playmate and saying, jokiHgly, I'm
kill you!' pulled the trigger. What must
have been that boys feelings when he
found that he had lied, that the gun was
not loaded, and that his innocent little sis
ter had knocked a portion of his nose Oil
with stick of wood ?-B771sl0icke