Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1874-08-17

about issue. on which Mr.. Tilton could
have escaped, possibly, by showing that he
believed the stories he told about me, or that
he had not "circulated" them, or by the mere
failure on the other side to prove that he had
done so, or by the decision that he was a mo-
nonaniac and not responsible. Any such half
way decision would leave me in the attitude
of overflow, and yet no party 10 the case.
Moreover, l felt that Mr.. Tilton thought
was setting my church against him-and was
bound he should not think that; for if it had
not been for me he would have been dropped
two or three years before for non attendance,
and for his distinct notice to me that he was
out of the church | had got the Examining
Committee to postpone the usual action, be-
cause he was letting his wife still attend the
church, and thought that would gradually
influence him for good. Indeed, he had de-
luded me with hopes that he would give up
his bad women associates and reform his life.
| felt that we had no right to claim him as a
member under the circumstances for the sole
purpose of his public trial. Mr.. Moulton in
sisted, that every thing must be done TO pre-
vent that trial, as the examining committee
was likely to be equally divided, whether he
was out of the church or not. l was so de-
termned TO carry out my pledges to Moulton,
for him, and do all in human power to save
him, even from himself, that was ready to
resign, if that would stop the scandal.
wrote a letter of resignation, not referring to
charges against me, but declaring that had
strven for years to maintain secrecy concern
ing scandal affecting family in the church,
aud that as had failed, herewith resigned.
This letter was never sent. A little calmer
thought showed me how futile it would be to
stop the trouble-a mere useless sef-sacrifce
but showed it to Mr.. Moulton, and possibly
he copied it. | have found the original of it
in my house.
II | could at this moment remember any of
the other letters which have written to Mr..
Moultcn, would do SO. If he had reserved
all my .etfusions Of feeling he must have a
large collection. l wished him to bring them
all before the Committee. | should have
been glad to get such hints as they may con-
tain to refresh my recollection Of facts and
sequences. l have no fear of their full and
fair publication, for though they would doubt
less make a sad exposure of my weakness,
grief, and dependency, they do not con-
tain a line confessing such guilt as has
been charged upon me, or word inconsistent
with my innocence, nor any other spirit than
that OF generous rcDorse over a great and
more rreparable evil. But however intense
and numerous may be these expressions of
grief. they cannot possibly ever state the
anxiety which constantly felt for the future,
the perils of which it is now clear | did not
exaggerate; nor the sorrow and remorse
which felt orig finally on account of the in
jury which supposed l had unwittingly done
to beloved family, and afterward for the
greater injury which became satisfied had
done by my unwise, blind, and useless efforts
to remedy that injury, only, as it proved, at
the expense OF my own name, the happiness
OF my own family, and the peace of my own
church.
HIS LAST WORDS.
GENTLEMEN OF THE COMMITTEE: In the
nete requesting your appointment asked that
you should make full investigation of all
sources of Information. You are witnesses
that | have in no way influenced or inter
fered with your proceedings or duties.
have wished the investigation to be so search
ing that nothing could unsettlc its results.
have nothing to gain by any policy of sup
preston or compromise.
For four years have borne and suffered
enough, and l will not 60 step further.
will be free. will not walk under rod or
yoke. If any man would do me favor, let
him tell all he knows now. 1t is not mine to
lay down the law of honor in regard to the
use of other persons confidential communi-
| cations; but, in SO far as my own writings are
| concerned, there is not letter nor document
which am afraid to have exhibited, and l
authorize any and call upon any living per-
son to produce and print forthwith whatever
writings they have of any source whatsoever
| 1t is time, for the sake of decency and Of
| public morals, that this matter should be
brought to an end. 1t is an open pool of cor
ruption, exhaling deadly vapors.
| For six weeks the nation has risen up and
sat down upon scandal. Not great war nor
revolution could more have filled the news
papers than this question of domestic trouble;
magniied a thousandfold, and, like q sore
| spot in the human body, drawing to itself ev-
cry morbid humor in the blood. Whoever is
buried with it, it is time that this abomination
were buried below all touch or power of res
rurection HENRY WARD BEECHER.