Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-07-09

'em, and little fieas have lesser fieas, and
so on dd iH1initum. And so it is with the
patent-medicine man. The vast expense
of advertising and close competition all
aid in restricting him. But his spider is
not to be found here. The web is spread
BY the doctors A physician in good
standing will not prescribe anything like
an American or English patent medicine.
He feels his professional gorge rise
whenever he hears its name mentioned.
But with the French remedies it is differ
ent He does not mind ordering for
patient LaVille's Liqueur curative de la
Goutte ct DIES Rhumatises," probably be-
cause nobody would ever suppose 1t to be
a patent affair. But while, professedly
and ostentatiously, the practicing physi-
clan snubs the Ayers, and Jaynes, and
Grams, he sometimes secretly calls upon
them to help him out with a prescription.
Cases have occurred in which he has
purchased "Osgood's Cholagogue,"
poured it into another bottle, and pre-
scribed the mixture to be taken three
times a day" with unblushing assurance.
As rule, however, he is wary as to his
dealings with patent medicines, and con-
dennis them without stint.
All large druggists keep full asSort
ment of Curatives of this description for
two reasons; there is great popular de-
mand for them, and retail profit of
from 10 to 90 per cent. on them. They
never pass an opinion upon the medicine
to purchasers A man who wants a bot
tie of any of the thousand specifics in the
store obtains no word of condemnation
or commentator of its contents from the
seller He paws his money and takes his
| choice. He is supposed to know what
he wants, and the source of his informa-
ton and his line of argument are emf
nently ridiculous.
A well-dressed, intellectual gentleman
strolled in hesitating way into Buck u
| Rayner'S store day or two ago, and
asked for bottle of Plantation Bitters.
Mr.. Rayner handed him bottle. "What
| do you think of it," asked the customer.
1--WE never express an opinion, sir, upon
these medicines. We do not know what
they are made of, and will not be made
responsible for their effects"
"Well," returned the customer, "that's
perfectly right I'm opposed to these
| Quack-remedies myself. [ told my wife
l never would buy bottle of them. But
| these Plantation Bitters have been so ex-
| tensively advertised that there must be
something in them" This species of
reasoning is very prevalent among even
| intelligent men. Because some vandal
| hand has posted glazing wOod-cut on
| Lookout Mountain, Plantation Bitters
will regulate the stomach, eXpel the
| poisonous humors from the body and
| transform wasted life of misery and
| sickness into an earthly paradise of
| health and happiness. Precious faith
| and sublime reason.
| In speaking of the patent medicines 1t
must not be inferred thatall are worthless.
| Some of them are undoubtedly valuable;
| some are harmless and some positively
| injurious. 1t stands to reason that a
drug which must yield 400per cent. profit
| to remunerate the compounder, and at
| the same time sell at a reasonable price,
can contain no costly ingredients; or if
| it should their efficacy must be merely
nominal, not active. Take the trif1ing
matter of buchu, for instance. The
| druggist can extract a more valuable
| quality for the same price than is con-
tanned in bottle of the Helmbold prep
aration, the actual value of which is
mainly in its association with gorgeous
posters representing Africans carrying
huge bundles aimlessly about in different
| directions, and wearing an expression of
the utmost benignity. Some of the " in
MIGRANTS" land their name is legion
contain an Alternative of acknowledged
| efficacy-corrosive sublimate. Now, as
everybody knows, this is, in excess, an
exceedingly deadly poison, and should be
| dispensed with the utmost care and with
a heavy personal responsibility. Under
existing laws there is no such thing as
responsibilitY.-Chjcago Tribune.