The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1874-02-05
GRANGE SECRETS REVEALED
,,oyy INVITATIONS ARE CONDUCTED.
rr,om the Randolph En.crrrisc.]

snu told that had been ba!Ioted for and &C
.,en,eS NV informant, who was securely
,nasked by what L afierward learned was
ior,n hnriocK leaf perforated with holes ioi
the eyes. told me that il valued my 'l'c i
would be necessary for me to strip. As
did consider that considerable worth TO me,
and as he italicized his wishes by careless :
nlavins with a seyer.shootcr. witHai .,,.
from nv garments with eaSerhes.., ~
masked, friend then furnished NE mi'h H. ",
rceaIia Of the first dcgrcc-caiiea Iii,
tive plouchboy (which consisieu m.;
NJ one large caObagele leaf attacneo ~ u "nis..
hand Of potato.rines. In tuis ais COSTUME
: wos conducted to the door, Where my
Communion gave three distinct Tps. | was
securely blindfoided by binding siice OF
rutabaga over each eye y sepulchIai VOICE
from within asked: VINO comes!
Ny guide answered: 50 youthtul ayr,
cul,urist who desires TO become granger
Sennichral voice: Have you looked him
carefully overr
Guide: have. noble gate.kecpcr..
SV.. DO YOU find any agricultural marks
about bis person:
Guide: do.
S.V.: What are they!
Gp;de : The candidate has carrotty hair,
reddish wbiskers, and turnup nose.
s, v: Ills well. Why do you desire 10
become granger! ,r,.
Gnide answering for candidate): That |
NOV no thereby the better enabled to hir-
row up the feelings of the raScaily poilti'
clans. .,,,.o
Sy.: You will bring in the cardlda'e
Nv worthy stripping, as you chnnot see VIII
cause you to feel that you are received az INC
door on the three points OF pitcD'osh'
piercing the region OF the stomach, "hica Is
10 teach you the three great rlrtueS--M''n'
hope, and charity. Faith ID yourseiI, nope
for cheaper farm machinery. and CHARITY 1cr
Tho Gohtninp-rod peddlcr. You will now
he ba1nesspd and in representation Of the
horse Pegasus, will lie tesVeu Is " enu"-
rance and wind.
The candidate is here attached to small
imitation plough by means of hempen har-
ness. A dried pumpkin-yine is put IN his
mouth for q bit and bridle-he is made to get
down upon all tours, the guide seizes the
bride, and urged on by q granger armed
with Canada thistle, the candidate is gai-
loped three times around the room. Wnlle
making the circuit the members arise and
sing:
Get up and Dust, you bully boy
Who wouldn't De Il granger!
II the thiste's prick Mt cause you JOY,
TO feeling you must be esrrauged, CHI
After this violent exercise he is rubbed
drv with corn.cobs, beeswaxed where this
tied, and brought standing up before the
great chief-the most worshipiul pumpkin
head.
II. w. PHI: Why do you desire to be a
granger?
Candidate answering for HIMSELF: That
I may learn to eXtinSuish sewing
agents.
NJ. W. P. H.: Have your hands been
hardened with toll?
Candidate Not extensively, but then am
not running for office.
NJ. W. P. H.: IT'S well, for our lodges
contain several who are supposed to be ready
to sacrifice themselves for the good OF their
constituents.
Nj. W.P. Il. (savageIy): Give me chaw
of tobacker.
Candidate, searching himself thoroughly.
but as there is no place about him TO stick
pocket tries to explain, but the Most Wor-
shipful Pumpkinhead Interrupts him with
"Never mind, my dear, young friend. /
am well aware that in your present cond:tinn
YOU can no more furnish your friends With
the weed than Adam could be comfortable in
q plug-hat and tight boots. It is merely to
teach you the great lesson of economy
doing to others as you'd like to have them
do to you. You will now be conducted to
the most eminent sQuash-prodrcer, who
will teach you the grand hailipg-sign of dis
tress. The sign, my WORTHY brother, Will
insure you against many o.. the ills of the as-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. 9th .rs, against droughts
and being bit by the f. rocious grasshopper."
The candidate Is now conducted to the
most eminent sqr tssh-producer, who thus
says My wor' ny brother, will no" IN
vest you WIZ Al the order of the FESTIVE
fioughDoy, which you have well won ~
your heroF; achievement while harnesseu
my you everWear it with pleasure 10 your
sen. CClHnay it be mears OF terror 10 your
TTbe NJ. E. S. P. then proceeds to inveS
the candidate with the regatta oil Tue fes'Nt
Ploughboy, which consists OF a long Ioila1'
necklace.) = ,.. :,
made by gently closing the lett eye, laying
the right forefinger alongside the nose.
and violently wagging the ears. 1t requires
nractice. but the advantages are intense
f. also has an important Specification,
which you will do well to heed. The
closing of the eye signifies that in all
your dealings with mankind you are bound
to have an eye to business. Laying the
finger alongside the nose is emblem
atical of wisdom, and places you at once
among the "knowing Ones" This is eX-
tremely handy in prognosticating new wea-
Their, and saves the wear and tear of alma
macs. Waggipg the ears signifies sublimity
of purpose, and is thought to be emblematl-
cal of chlldhood's happy hours. 1t is also
supposed by some profound scholars to have
distinct reference to apple-dumplings. Out
this fact Is somewhat obscure by the dust OF
ages. In token that you are one of us you
will now be branded. When one granger
desires to ascertain "for sure" il there Is
another OF the order in the room, he raise:
himself gently by the slack Of his unmen
tionables, scratches his off thigh with bis
near hoof, and remarks in voice of thun
der: care there any graugers about ?" The
answer is "Jeese wax"
j was here interrupted, Dir. Editor, by q
2 volley fired into the open window, evidently
intended for me. Fortunately 1 escaped
without a scratch, and, which is OF more
consequence, succeeded in fetching oil my
precious manuscript. This is about all there
Is in the ceremony Of apy Importance. /
must leave the country at once-armed men
are at my heels. They know that l am
writing to expose them. You may bear from
me again by mail, il / should deem it best
TO expose che other degrees. Until then,
adieu. From your sacred friend,
3. POLE.
Nottce.-This ceremony Of initiation j.
used during the absence Of the lady-mem.
bers. Their iuitiatory ceremonies are en-"
tirely different, being much simplifed, as
they should be.