National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-02-24
&atiaual &epatlifsu.

-.
&atiaual geratlitsu.
/ NOT UNDERSTOOD.
Tho favorite complaint of ninety -nt6s men
and women out of hundred 70 that tSpSF srs
not understood
Every married woman with q fondness IF
weak sentimentality conf5es to her intim -
friend that her husband, kind and welimea&
ing q he Il, does not understand her. 49,
Every married man who 10 In the slightest
degree addicted to the morbid habit Of disssct-
ing his own emotions firmly believes shat bis
wife totally fails to understand him.
Az for the unmarried of either se1, ttAy &C
cepe as matter of course the conscious Il ola
ulon tnat springs from being misunderstood By
all their kind. =.
At the same time that we are all complsf.sAy
because we are misunderstood we. ere making
It the sim Of our lives toconeesi o1r true seIye1
4 from any one else
It 10 like the fulldress paradox. III LEES
LADY clothes her shoulders and arms tn nearer
abe approaches to the state Of "fulj. 1ress"
Inc more we wisn 70 be understood tie more
We pose ourselves in assumed chapaetera
You, my dear sF, who sadly say to va uself
over your solitary evening cigus, HNo On un-
derstands me" really means that no On &C.
cepts you a. the pesson Of uniqus merit NJ ich
you wish to convince the world thss you sss
| You, my dear madam, who say 10 Jour 4 Il
mate lady friend, or the sympathetic yoeA
man with whom you are carrying on pa =
/ iectly unexcsptionable 1t,tation, "Nohody ~
derstands me-" simply mean that No one CON-
eeoes that YOU have succeeded in perfectly DIS
gung yourself Is q woman Of excetiiohaa
Il nfrA Ha1soo 81 10
pasity for everything that Is nosse and exceIiett
Now, the truth Is that we are IN OF us upderr,
stocd BY our frendeguite as thoroughly sswe
desire to bs.
A nEn isnearly always accurately ,au,.db v-
the world, 90 far as his merits are c,ncerneX
woman Is nearly always understood bv her.
feminine friends as thoroughly as she wisbes;
them to'understand her.
Whichcf rs would be willing that the,secrst:
thoughts and emotions that we keep carefully
hidden should be surprised even by our ttuest
and best fienda Yet that's what must pre-
cede the process Of being thoroughly unier.-
stood.
Still there is degree of Knowledge of mani
or woman which is something less than this in
tolerable exposure, and something more than,
the knowledge which the world attains. And.
it Is curious fact that the person admitted to
this knowledge is always of the opposite sex to-.
the one making the revelation.
No woman ever thoroughly understands,
another woman; and no man perfectly COM
prehends another man.
A woman has an instructive fear of being
thought unwomanly by every other woman. 4,
man Is never free from the dread of DOING
something that his best friend, even If he loves
him as brother, may think unmanly. And So,
whether we are men or women, we always
keep up barrier of conventionality betweeu..
ourselves and those Of our own sex.
It is only to q man that woman reveals.
herself. 1t is only in the presence of a woman :.
that q man lays aside the reserve that he majn-
tains among his fellows No woman know.
her own sister as well As Goes the young man.
with whom she has had q six-months' friend.
ship. No man understands the friend of
twenty years Of masculine intimacy half So
well as the woman whom the latter has courted,
for six weeks understands him.
Does 1t follow, then, that married people
know each perfectlya By no MEANS
The doors of intimacy that were OPEN during
the days Of courtship grow rusty on their hinges
after marriage.
By and by, in the confidence of mutual affec-
ton, free criticism of one another's faults be-
comes frequent, the atmosphere grows little,
chilly, and the doors are shut forever
A woman does not like to whisper -tYou-
may look into my fnmost heart" to the man.
who feels so much at home with her that he is
quite capable of saying, 'sThanlks; but jus. wait
till find my pipe. ] can't see why it is thas
can't find Them"
There is precisely one relation in which men
and women ere known perfectly through and
through, in their Utmost grain and fibre by cne
another. It is that of unlawful love.
It is partly the rccklessness that follows a
step once taken that can never be retraced and
partly the isolation that shameful secret car
ries with 1t, that lead to this absolute unyeil-
ing of good and bad alike which marks the
relation of the faithless wife with her passion
ate lover.
And this unyeiling is perhaps the reason
why 1t Is that the man and his mistress must
ultimately quarrel, and bitterly despise one
1t was never meant that we should stand
mentally and morally naked before our fellows.
II we really long to do SO, it is a morbid long
ing that ought to be promptly suppressed.
And so let me say to the wife who walls that
she Is not understood, and the husband who
would make a similar plant if he did no. fear
ridicule, you are longing for that which can
never be reached by open and peaceful paths.
1ndividualism was not made the condition Of
humanity without purpose. The separate
soul Is not segregated in its separate body by
an expensive error: 1t is worse than folly for
one vast and identical soul shall form tie -
myriad bodies Of the race.
HONE CONDUCT.
Much OF the counsel given by familiar NOR
alists toward making home happy has the de-
feet Of decomposition that it must be some
particular member of the household to whose
aggressions or neglects the discomforts of the
family are chiefly due. Thus the selfsufaciency.
of several individuals is-encouraged to vaunt
itself over the presumed imperfections of one
parsonage, and a reconciliation of all is rem
dered more difficult than before. To advise
wife to be lovingly forbearing with her care