Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-09-18
FjtmorOus ShcteArs.

ing a hermit, and living alone, is not quite
so fine. At the present writing, we don't
know much about this angel business, but
as to living alone we know how it is our
self For two long, dreary weeks we have
been the only soul in the house. We have
had no one to love Us, none to ca-hug. All
alone we went to bed, not a word to us was
said. We got NJ in the morning Just as
quietly as we retired At night. There
wasn't much housew0rk to do, and the
barn chores didn't consume much time.
For the first few days We studied economy,
and boarded ourselG We soon got tired Of
eating the outside slice of bread at every
meal, and threw the loaf away and bought
crackers. Remembering the difficulty that
Brother Beecher had with his dishcloth
few years ago-an account OF which he gave
ia his miscellany at the time-wc resolved
not to wash any dishes, but just put the
diity ones to soak and use clean ones. As
long as the dishes hold ont we shall Get
along with that part Of housekeeping all
right, hat they wont last always, rs the
pile Of clean ones is daily growing smaller,
and the pile of dirty ones larger. The
CRISIS in this articular is approaching, and
unless the folks come home pretty soon we
sI.all have to borrow some dishes. For the
first ten days we made the bed mp nicely
every morning. For the next few days we
put it of till night, and for the last few
days we ;lvn't made il at all. We were
charged particularly TO water the house
plants and take care Of the bird. The
plants have caused Us a good deal OF trou-
Die, but we left the door Of the cage open
about the first time We curred that animal
of, and he hasn't troubled Us much since.
OF course we'll catch it, when the folks
come home, but that is a good deal easier
than il is 10 catch the bird On the whole,
We are free to say that we don't like house
keeping, and if ever we should be born
again'-and according 10 very good au
thority we have all cot to undergo that
operation-we earnestly hope that We
shan't be born Il woman and especially
housekeeping one. We would rather be an
angel
SCENE. a courtroom. Seedy individual
arraigned for theft Question by the judge
Did you steal the complainant's coat? ?
>eedy individual-'I decline 10 crafty the
morbid curiosity OF the public by answer
inc that inierrogatory.
\ sTRONG-MINDED female, who was ar
guing the other day that the condition Ola
married woman was sIayish, was eiiectually
silcnced by her opponent, who said, 1T is
aot slayish, but j. is high-menial.'
The farmer should SOW his P's, keep his
Us warm hive bis BIS. kill of the J's re-
member wha; he C's, take care Of the vs.,
pay all he O'a, teach his wifa not to Tvs,
and take his E's.
4 PHILOSOPHER says that 4 true man
never frats about bis place in the world, but
just slides iu.oit by the crayitation Of his
nature, and swings there as easily a, a
star
.ioU mast DE a quarre!some fellow
said a phrenologist to a man whose bumps
hc was examining. say that again and
I'll knock You down, was the response.
NEXT TO music, nothing so powerful
tends TO soothe the savage breast as to see
the young man who parts hi, hair in Che
middle rolling a baby-wagon on Sunday.
THE most tcuder-hearted man ever heard
Of was IT shoemaker, who always shut his
eyes and whi-tlea when he ran his aw! into
4 sole.
u ua; marble: :: said a gentleman,
pointing to the bust Of Kentucky's great
statesman. No, sir: that's Clay quietly
replied the dealer.
WY was Phalaoh's daughter Ike a
broker Because she got little prophet
from the rashes on the banks.
AN experienced old gentleman says that
all that is necessary in the enjoyment oflove
or sausages is confidence.
\ COMPETING hotel out West says gen
erously Of apother that it stands without
arrival
\ FATHER in Wisconsin offered biz son -
to take a dose of caster oil, and then got a
counterfeit bill off or his boy.
IF should die, where would you 90 =
60? Go after your insurance money,
was the reply ola fond wife.
4 MAN adyertises in New York paper
for bar-keepe~, who must come well re-
commended by his pastor.
WHY is the horse the most humane Of
all animals lie gives the bit out Of his
mouth and listens to every woe.
NATURALIsTs claim for crows that it is
the bravest Of all birds. because it never
shows the white feather.
WHAT should you do il you split your
sides with hugh'rr :-ItGn ,iil you gct a
stitch ia them.
Ok weekdays one buys his music by tie
sheet; but on sundays he gets j.. by the
choir.
MIS--CoN-rEUCTIoN - Whalcbcne and
paint, powder and wadding.
WHEN are eyes not eyes When the
wind makes them water.
TIE best method Of constructing dam
Without an n
CAN one DE called n traitor who bctrays