Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-04-30
A SURPRISE PARTY.

2
spoon? 1t can't even be called Outland-
ish, but it is outrageous. Still this might
have been blind, unreasoning prejudice
on my part as my wife said it was, but
when | saw his face | knew in moment
Just what he was There is a saying to
the effect that the world is made up of
fools and knaves, or flats and sharps, as
some one expresses it, but | know one
man, at least, that is a good deal of both.
When BrOadspoon came to me with that
amiable grin of his, long sight too anna
BILE to be pleasant, knew he was up to
some mischief though, of course, it was
cyond human sagacity to fathOm it at
The time.
Going to surprise jerks tonight"
said he, slapping me familiarity on the
back.
moved away from him about three
feet
Surprise Jenksn' said I, surprised
myself and very much puzzled. How?"
"Oh, our crowd expect to go there
tonight"
Now, if there is one thing that despise
more than another it is a surprise party.
Vulgar things at the best-and to be
spoken of as one of our crowd-Broad-
spoons crowd-was beyond my patience;
so | blurted out, not so amiably as Broad
spoon had spoken:
No. l hate such affairs. Besides,
Mis- Jones has a cold, and [ wouldn't
think of taking her out at night, and Pm
not quite we'll myself" | added that
much for the sake of being civil. Good
morning" said he, and [ saw very curl
Gus expression pass over his face. | did
not understand it at the time, but it meant
something, as | afterward found. You
see, he had plainly told me that he was
going to jerks that evening. That is my
first point against him.
| sent word to jerks that BrOadspoOn
and his crowd were going to make raid
upon him and that he had better be pre-
pared for them, and the whole thing
passed out Of my mind.
That night Sarah Jane and were about
retiring. We had taken bowl of onion
syrup between us and a foot-bath apiece
and were wrapped in flannel up to QUE
noses, when we heard very singular
noise sound like the rasping of a file
apparently at the back basement door.
There is an alleyway from our yard that
leads back to the next street, the gate of
which is always locked, but is only tea
feet high and nothing would be easier
than for man to climb it.
| hunted up an iron bed-key we have.
1t looks exactly like a pistol in its out
line, and opening the window l pointed
down into the yard and called out:
Who is there? Answer, or | firei"
The noise ceased, and as it was showing
very hard and blowing harder | retreated
in haste.
ooh, John. John, come imp called my
wife, Juggling at my-garments. "We'lISbe
murdered in our beds Wen be robbed
of everything. They'll set the house on
fire. They'll steal the babyp'
What was | to do? | locked the doors
of the bedrooms, but all our valuables
were on the floor below. We were alone
in the house. our domestic having gone
out for the night Pretty soon we heard
the chink Of silver and something fell
and shattered. The house was so still
we could even hear them whisper
6 HUst' ~
| looked out of the front window, hop
ing policeman would pass, but no such
luck There did not seem to be a soul
stirring.
q must go for the police" said.
Don't leave me. Don't leave me,
John. They'll kill me and the babyI"
cried ny wife.
She couldn't go along. What was I to
do? | put or the first thing that hap
pened to come handy. They were, as
afterward discovered, a pair of India
rubber boots and my wife's waterproof
cloak. As for hat, my hats were on the
rack in the hall.
q must leave you for few moments,
Sarah Jane" | said comfy a few mo-
ments. 1 will hasten back Be brave
The doors are locked"
We en- 0raced, and | went out on the
balcony. There is another balcony be-
low, connected with it by iron-work up
RICH , and from that to the front steps is
but trife.
''You'll fall" shrieked Sarah Jane;
but | did not l reached the ground in
safety, and the policestation in an incred-
IDLY short space of time.
had on my red flannel night cap,
which has, | regret to say, dropping
tassel, and suppose l was rather pc
culiar object, for some one at the station
laughed d, me-some one who did not
know my cause for agitation and alarm.
want police offfcer-two or three
of them," said l.
est down and wait five minutes, j." said
the man | spoke to.
Sit down! wait! the idea was prepos-
ferrous.
"Send them Immediately they come"
said L, giving my address and hurrying
away.
Sarah Jane is usually very sensible for
woman; but | must confess I was pro
vokeC with her, for the first thing she
said to me when / got home was:
John, the house has been so very
quiet Don't you think it might have been
cats 81
OF course l didn't harbor the idea for a
minute, but the house was very quiet, and
| concluded that, on the whole, had bet
ter find out what was really happening.
confess it required some courage. | took
the bed-ke have already mentioned and
the bedroom poker in one hand, and
with a candle in the other went and peeped
over the stairs. The parlor floor was quiet
The burglars, whoever they were, were
still in the basement.
| descended cautiously to the kitchen
stairs. | heard them whispering when
got that far I hid my candle and put my
head forward, holding the door at the foot
OF the stairs on crack. Through the
glass door of the kitchen | saw them.
Cats, indeedl Sarah James cats were
SIX feet high at least. One of them wore
negros mask, and one black-fur