Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1874-05-23

A Danbury Man Tries to Reach 9
Woman's Pocket.


The most difficult thing to reach is wo-
mans pocket. This is especially the case II
the dress is hung up in closet, and the man
is in a hurry We think we are safe in saying
that he is always in hurry on such occas'op'
The owner OF the dress is in the sitting room
sercnely engrossei in book. Having told
him that the article which he is in quest OF is
in her dress pocket in the closet, She has dis
charged her whole duty in the matter, and can
afford to feel serene lie goes at the task with
dim consciousness that he has been there be-
fore, but says nothing. On opening the closet
door and finding himself confronted with a
number of dresses, all turned inside out, aud
presenting most formidable front. he hastens
back to ask (Which dress ?" and being told
the brown one, aud also asked il she has SO many
dresses that there need be any great effort to
ind the right one, lie returns to the closet with
alacrity, and soon has bis hands on the brown
dress II is inside out like the rest-a fact he
does not notice, however, until he has made
several Intellectual attempts to get his hand
into it, Then lie turns it around very care
fully aud passes over the pocket several times
without being aware of it. 4 nervous moving
of his hands. and an appearance Of perspira-
ton on his forehead are percephble. He now
dives one hand IL at the back, and feeling
around, finds place. and proceeds TO explore
il, when he discovers that he is following MP
the inside Of lining. The nervousness in
creases, also the perspiratiun. He twitches the
dress on the hook. aud suddenly the pocket.
white, plump, and exasperatine, comes to view.
Then he sighs at the relief he feels, and is
mentally grateful he did not allow himself to
use any offensive expressions. II is all right
now There is the pocket in plain view-not
only the inside but tie outside--and all he has
to do is to put his hand right around in the
inside and take ont the article. That Is all.
| He cant help hut smile TO think how near he
was to getting mad Then he puts his hand
/ around 10 the other side He does not feel the
opening lie pushes a little fur,her-now he
! has got the shoves the hand down. aud is
very much surprised 10 see it appear opposite
! bis knees He tries again again he feels the
entrance and glides down it only to appear
again as before. This makes him open his
eyes aud straighten his face He feels Of the
outside Of the pocket, pinchos it curiously. liis
it mp, shakes it, and after peering closely about
the roots Of it. he says, " BY graciousV and
commences again. He does il calmly this
time, because hurrying only makes mat
tiers worse. lie holds up breadth
after breadth, goes over them care
fully, gets his hand frt into a lin
ing, then into the air again, iwhere it always
surprises him when it appears,l and finally
into pocket. and is about to cry out with
triumph when he discovers thatits is the pock-
ct of another dress. lie is mad now the clos
ct air almost stnhes him; lie is 50 nervous he
can hardly contain himself, and the pocket
looks at him so exasperately that he cannot
help but "plug" it with his clenched fist, and
Immediately does it. Being somewhat relieved
by his performance he has a chance to look
about him, and sees that he has put his foot
through a band-box and into the crown Of his
wife's bonnet has broken the brim to his
Paunma hat. which was hanging in the same
cluset, and torn about yard Of bugle trim
ming from new cloak As all this trouble is
due directly to his wife's infa,uation in hang
ing up her dresses inside out, he Immediately
starts after her. and impctuously urging her To
the closet, exciie'lly aud almost profanely inti-
mates lis doubts Of there being pocket in
the dress. anyway. The carse Of the unhappy
disaster quietly inserts her hand inside the
robe, aud directly brings it forth with tie
sought for arri lie in its clasp lie doesn't
know why. bit this makes him madIer than
any thing else -Ddnbury Neirs