Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-08-11
A Smell OF single BIessedness.


A Spell of Single Biessednsss.
The following is from Commodore
Rollingpin's new book;
Ny wife has gone away for the sum.
mer and LETT me in full charge Of the
house. like it; haven't had such a
run OF liberty since we we're married.
hope she's having a good time, for | am !;
| can now exercise my rights as the head
of the family Cant do it when she's at
home; she'll not stand it, She has rules
and makes every one about her toe the
mark. But I've got her now, and am
having things my own way.
This morning | came home quite ear
ly. Il was 2 am. I'd been to the club
and got caught out in the rain. For
half an hour couldn't find the keyEole,
which must have been mislaid. felt
for it everywhere, and even got down in
the yard and examined every Brick, but
couldn't find it. | was in the act of
calling one of my neighbors and asking
him who had carried off my front door,
when | happened to find it, and get into
the house.
In the dark | kicked over a spittoon,
but luckily didn't get any of the tobacco
juice on my boots. ! hung my overcoat
and umbrella on prong Of the chande-
lier, let them drip on the parlor carpet,
and went upstairs and turned in with my
boots on. | thought it wasn't worth
while to pull them off, as | would have
to get up in eight or ten hours anyhow.
If my wife had been home she'd have
had me looking an hour for the boot.
-. Il. Il l. al
Of rest, which my system so much need
ed Besides, she have made me give
full account of myself, which l don't
like to do. l never did believe in prais.
ing myself. It's better to let others
speak of ones virtues can now wear
a shirt week, and it's nobody business.
| don't see how ever did get along with
that woman The idea of having to put
on clean shirt, black my boots, and
brush my clothes every morning, is sim
ply ridiculous. 1t is a miracle to me
how | ever did it and attended to my
other affairs. | now read the morning
paper without being forced to see an i'm
patient woman standing With her dress
in one hand, looking very miserable, and
finally telling me that she is going down
tOWn Auu WdubS luhJ pdDcE lOE "a
Any one to look at the house now would
know there's no woman about, every
thing is so quiet ans comfortable and
handy. If want to do a little fgnring
don't have to hunt up pencil, orfpen
and ink, but just set down to one oft
tables and do it with my finger, and
there's nobody to be eterhally welding
a dus!iDg brush around my head aud
telling me to get out of the way until
the house is cleaned up. These are con-
siderations that every married man
should ponder over. But when we do
ponder and resolve, what good does 10
do2 That's the question that now agi-
tates the American people. What good
does it do2 Not bit. If these women
can't have everything their. own way,
they swoon off into Mysteries. As
consequence, we have to pay fifty dol.
lar doctors bill, and stay in the house
all day tanning them and promising in
the end that I'VE may be happy yet,
before they show any disposition'to CON.
promise. Our wives are petted too
much. And this reminds me that mime
won't yield to any other treatment. /
undertook to prescribe more stringent
remedy for her one day, but il threw
her into fit more like the uHs Jams
than anything | know of. She broke
every plate in the house over my head,
aud then | had to kiss her before she
would promise not to do 10 again.
That's what makes me say she is set in
her ways. y
There, too, are the piano and guitar,
which she kept going from morning un-
ill midnight, filling the whole neighbor-
hood with discordant sounds which she
called music Both are mute as the
bird-cage, which was vacated last week
by strategic movement os the cat.
The two hundred pots Of flowers that
she left me to cultivate. don't think
will produce much Of crop. They're
nearly all ripe now, and there's no siga
of a flower yet | have watered them
twice since she left, bat IT did no good.
| reckon they miss her, and are piniag
away because she amt here. In this-Te-
spect they do. not resemble me to any
alarming extent.
Our kitchen never looked better. The
stove and pipe have assumed beastitul
red tint, and the pots are bringing forth
a 6ne crop of withholding vegetable
mold, which ] haven't learned the name
of, but she'll know it when she comes.
The dishes don't look quite 50 bright
and clean as they might, but the flies are
bad this year, and if | were to wash
them every two weeks they wouldn't
present a respectable appearance.