The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1874-09-04
NsSCE74A y ED US.
Engaged for every set-a hen.

Engaged for every set-a hen.
Rooted sorrow-An aching tooth.
Don't go to law unless you have moth |
ing to lose; lawyers houses are built on |
fools heads.
A lady barber has been driven out of |
Dubuque by the married ladies of that
place. The latter thought she scraped
acquaintance too easy.
If anything will impress the human
mind with awe, it is the expression of
the mans face who has just been ARGUS
ed from snoring in church.
A California newspaper chronicles the
fact that defaulting county treasurer
from that State has ''turned up IN one
of the Fiji Islands, where he has plan
tation and flock of native wives
A young lady in Milwaukee tainted
away when her lover called and found
her bare-footed, but Chicago girl
would have kicked his hat off as she
cried 'sgood morning
A Cape May youth used the deeds of
his fathers farm FOR gun Wads. The
stamp on the bottom of the document
wasn't anything Ike the impression the
old man made on the same part of the
lads anatomy.
A new game called granger seven-up'
is announced. Three persons play fof &
can of oysters. The first tnan out gets
the oysters, the last man out gets the
oyster can, and She middle man" don t
get anything.
A German professor has undertaken
the task of counting the hairs on b'lf-
falo robe one tgy one.
The death rate on English railways
during 1872 was equal to the slain In
battle during che Crlmeee war.
A ssBig Insiian" strayed away from
his camp and got lost; inquiring the
way back, YVES asked, Indian lost ??
"Ne," said he, disdainfully, ''Indian no
lost; wigwam lost" striking his breast
he exclaimed, Indian here!''
This is the way it generally is: Mrs.
Jones will remark to her undutiful little
son: ssWhy ain't you like Willy Brown?''
Mrs. Brown will remark TO her hopeful:
"Why amt you like .5immy Jones?''
The boys have lots Of fun laughing
about it, especially when they are steal
ing watermelons together-
Susan B.
Sat the knee
o. L. It.
Naughty Bessie came sad peeked-
Susan b. off and skri3ked-
This giddy sigglingsSusan B.
The Detroit Free Press processes te
have discovered young lady who blush
es, goes to bed AT nine, eats heartily
speaks plain English, respects her m0ta-
er, doesn't want to marry lord, anal
knows how to cook.
4 great hartlship-An lion steamer
A dog with two tails was seen in Ger
mantown the other day. One belonged
to an OK, and was carried in the mouth
of the canine.
A pack of wolves in Sherbourne Coun-
ty. Minnesota, chased 2 compile Ct Law
yers five miles, and the New Orleans
Repubiicdn thinks it showed q lack of
professional courtesy.
One can Judge something of the pa
tience of HOosiers from the statement
of an Indiana paper that twenty men
handled over thirty-hve cords OF wood
to get at a rabbit.
An editor, who speaks with the air Of
q man who has discovered new fact by
experience, says that the new way to
prevent bleeding at the nose Is to keep
your nose out Of other peoples business.
The most confding woman lives in
Providence. She went to an suction,
and, knowing the prevalence of thieves
Mt such places, asked nice-looking man
to take care of her pocket-book, contain
ing $50. He is still taking care of it.
4 schoolmaster asked one of his boys,
on sharp, wiptry morning, what was
Latin for cold. The boy hesitated a
little What 2" said the teacher, ''can-
not you tell?'' Eyes. yes" replied the
boo; Il have it at my finger ends
A lady teacher inquired of the mem
bers of class Of Juveniles if any OF
them could name the four seasons. Ia
stant!y the chubby hand of q five-year-
old was raised, and promptly came the
answer. Pepper, salt, vinegar and
mustard
eff You don't see what you want, ask
for it, /" is posted up in a conspicuous
place IN Logansport grocery. A ma
tive stepped into the establishment last
week He saw the card and remarked:
ST want a ten-doLlar bill, and [ don't
-
reply.
A sailor dropped out of the rigging of
a ship of war, some fifteen or twenty
feet. and fell plump on the head of the
first lieuteant ''Wretchr' said the Of
ticer, after he had gathered himself up.
s'Wkere the dnce did you come from?"
can, snre I came from the North Of
Ireland, yer honor.
The Brooklyn Eagle says that young
printers are smart enough for anything.
Master John Brock, usually caliedJo Ohm
ny Brock, aged seventeen, and an APP
prentice in the Office Of the Columbus,
Ga, Inquirer, has eloped with and been
Fundamentally joined to Miss MaryOgle-
tree, aged sixteen.
A crossing sweeper was trying to get
n gratnity from an excessively dandifed |
individual who in resisting urred that |