, 1874-05-17
The Latest Device of the Children Oh
Darkness.
Our Confidence in Pawn Tickets Sadly
Shaken.
John Smith and His Diamond
Pin.
Priggins and the Solftaire1

One Of our most Bacred Institutions ls IN oan-
ger. Wicked aud Designing men are threatening
to destroy utterly time-honorod practlce' nal
lowed by the fear Of our forefathera and sanctl-
fed by tho tics Of family relationship. In other
words Our Uncle is in danger. That benign ana
universal relative trembles with rage, having
been abused in lis ayuncular boots. Ihero ls
consternation among the unredeemed pledees,
too. Not on account Of PROT Patton ana the
doctrine Of infant damnation, but because car-
tain persons OF doubtful honesty have been mah-
ing them out frauds. And, IS it is tho duty OF
eli good and truo men to use every effort to sus-
tain, protect, foster and support these useful ~
stitutions- We call upon the render to look at is
to him. 1t il the twentieth day Of the month";
suppose. His salary has long before VANISHED.
He received it on tho first, and had enough 1or
his last cigar, degonerated from thfeo 1ol
ter on the fifteenth. He is penniloss, OF course:
Possessed of ample co1laterals, he is indifferent
| to this circumstance. He can mortgage hls
coming snlary and feel like pToPorty-o"neer p ael,
| be done through the accommodating quality OF
| his uncle. For the convenience OF his nepne"a,
| tha. uncle has placed himself three times in
every square, and twice on every street inter-
section. He is scattered all over the city in con-
venient proximity to saloons, ns though saloon
| keepers and paWnbrokers had been shaken ont
| of tho same peppor-pot up in the clouds,
| and sworn eternal co-operntlon Oh their way
/ down, Conscious Of tlis Avuncular convenience,
the reader calls upon LIS uncle, receives that
| kind old gentleman's card. with hla name and
| address, 3eatly ornanented with n steel engrav-
| ing Of some by-gone Logan, or other deep-mlnd-
! ed 6nancier, with plenty OF Wig to hdatle pro-
| fundity Of Ills forehead.
| OF COURSE his uncle wants security, md the
| strapped borrower leayes his watch Here heis-
| Cash in hand watch in pawn: steel engrav.
ing, and o promise to pay. The latter is not
| Now, root out this glorious institution, which
| has stood the fire and sword Of potent
| ronarchs, and what is tho ponniloss
person going to do7 How is ho to par for that
! viii lis girl think Of him What can he eay to
| lis tailor when that gentleman assures him even
IS will keep his credit good and the absence OF
it destroy all those future broadclott English
mixture, and Melton castles Of credit he has been
assiduously building Relatives should stand
| bv one another. The uncle would stand by the
| victim if the victim would only stand oy the
uncle. It is, then, as may readily be perceived,
tie bounden duty Of every salarled young man
mitted, logic brings him to this conclusion
| The danger threatening our dear uncle is not
one 10 be scoraed. It ia not the bold and open
attack Of an ho1forable enemy. It Is the lnsd,
ious sapping OF his business By malicious and
| unscrupulous prisons. 1t sometimes takes this
form Mr.. John Smith has lost q gold pin.
attached to neck-to. The pin was enriched
with pearls, present to Mr.. Smith from hlrs.
S., in the happy days when her v1rElnal smile
captivated Mr. S., while she was Only Miss Jones'
| Mr. Smith, whose last hopo vanished with thas
pin, promptly takes car, and lands at LIE
Tribune office. Next morning. eager to see how
Ills composition looks in print. he hints for his
advertisement. He finds it by the time he has
rgached the Office II reads, now that the gram
mar and punctuation have been corrected:
r osT-oy FRIDAY LAST, IN UNION PARE, 4
literal reward viii be paid to the andex by JOHN
SMITH, Room % Pomeroy Building.
Mr. Smith thinks it looks rather small, bnt
hopes somebody will SEQ it. He has just opened
pleasant appearance asks If 31r. smith-John
SMITHS in. Nr. Smith presents himself
The visitors clothing is bran-new. His hat
shines luminotsly. His diamond pin sparkles
with q eubdued effulgence suggesting Alaska,
and his nustache growing down to his jaw
horo. is darker at the extremities than at the
roots. yulgarly speaking, be is t1ashy Among
his friends he is known ns q "thoroughor9d', >,
equally objectionable, but he belongs to one Of
SWhat can do for you, 1tr.
"You advertised in The TRIBUNE this morn-
visitor, cniefully ignoring Mr. Smiths ofler for
his name.
"Ah, you have found it. Name your reward. !"
Says 31r. Smith.
Inc 6tTAERCE uluHE5. u1*t AOt Eos ~ Win
me-" says he, "but I can tell you how you can
"Ah," says Mr.. Smith, gloomily,
swell, don't mind tel}ing you how it ls.
Your pin WAS found by friend OF mine: Ihe
months, and is dead broke. He hadn't cent Of
money about hl1a, and as he did not know Who
it belonged to, Why ho-in {ect, ho pa"ned it."
"Tho ID lie did, I" aayB Mr. Smith.
"Ho told mo about it yesterday, and told
him that he ought to have kept it and claimed
reward for it. He said there VAS no use in doing
thst: People never paid rewards when the lost
0Pshaw. I'd .haye given $40 for that pin"
bursts in llr. Smith With indignation.
81 Hold on minute" continues his visitor
, "He told mo he had pavned it. vel, ! SAY az
pawn-ticket OF him, and here it IL"
; How much is it pawned for ?" says Mr.
{ Smith anxioua1y. 'Not much. considering its
} value. He pawued it for -. I had to give him
: s. for the ticket" Bays tho unknown.
Smith is in q prcdicament, He has promised
SO reward for tho pin. The visitor will not take
less than IS for the ticket He will compromise.
| "Tll give you IS for tho ticket and say no
e more about it, says he: ...
~ Stick to your borgain," says the unknown.
: "You can have it for s1o'
, And Smith pays ont the s10, receiving in cx-
change for it the pawn ticket, on which he will
, have to pay $3.50 or thereabouts, making in all
t He looks ut the address. It Ia HASH Bag Ben
Q Solomon, On State street, between Harrison and
: Twelfth, we do not give the exact number,
= becauBe it would be unfair to tho noble calling.
j He presents his ticket, produces SIS bill, and
receiyes-hia pin
8 Oh, dear no; nothing Of tho Kind. 1fr. Smith
:; has actually purchased lottery ticket for 80
y aud draws babys hood and mantle, pair oi
panta, and couple Of lat-izons. Stop" sayt
:, S1r. Smith. IT want d pin; that's what thlt
d ticket calls fora gold pin, set with pearls"
:" "My rreinu, remarks &lr. Il. B. 3. Solomon
T. "vot is der deefrence? You got vot yor
bledged-eh?
9 Smith explains with great wrath, and threatens
& | arrest.
t Mr. Hash Bas B. Solomon tells him will
anger that he is q ''d-d vool' and las bee,
d ''zolt." Which indeed Le has. Under tue cir
cunstancos, all he do is to swallow his wratl
il and go back to his Office, imprecating tho whole
d twelve tribes OF 1a1ael, and gentlemen with
Q dyed mustaches. We pity Smith. Ho mean
|. | WE'LL aod lost S14.50.
|, nIr. Pnggins is CAV young duck-a I" blood,
o BE has 4 gorgeous diamond-pin, md neck-ti'
whose chromatic discords would shock tile lat
j. James Fisk. Jr. His silk lat is On the back O