The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-04-15
Josh Billings on Dispspsag

Dear Daker-I Y8fD6en q spEal&
tikal dispeptic for ~ years and a
months, and it would hayA been u5l{
nj in mi pocket fl had beer born
without emmy stummuck;
have prayed upward Of one .thor-
sand times to be on the inside like an
ostrich or q travelling coIporter.
I have seen travelling colporters
who could eat az much az a goose.
I have seen goose eat till they
couldn't stand up any more. and. then
set down and eat sum, and then lay
down and eat sum, and then rod over
and eat sum more. ~
I have tried living on filtered water
and going barefoot for dispepshy, and
that didn't hit the spot.
1 hav soaked at water cure estab-
lishments until I waz &c timber that /
kould not git myself back again in
side of mi Baldwin apparel.
I bought saddle -hoss once who
was got up expressly to kure dispep-
shy-he was warranted to kure tho
disease in go days or kill the hoss.
He was warranted to trot harder.
than a trip-hammer, pull wusser on =
bit, stumble safer down, hill than emmy
other boss on the fut-stool:
/ rode tbs hoss until waz all over
a Jelly, and then sold him bride and
all for sixty-eight dollars, and got
sued by the purchaser, and had to
pay him ninety dollars and sum sents
damages, bekauze the hoss had tho
sNimshys, diseaze j knu nothing
about. - * ;si;:ttg$, .>:'e, gsse-s;saS.4 -
The boss and fxings kost me $50
dollars gold. y.
I kontracted for eleven kords oy
hickory wood, kross grained, and az
phull ov wrinkles az an old cows
horn, and sawed away three months
on it, and the pile seemed to gro big.
ger every day.
I finally gave away the saw, and
what wood thare was left, to save mi
ife, and sat down discouraged, q
square victim to tho everlasting dis
pepshee.
have lived at. the sea side, and
,ambooled in the saline food until
vas az we'll picked az number one
'alt mackerel. ',.r A
I hav dwelt at Saratoga, and taken
he water like a mill race and still had
he dispepshee.
I hav walked two miles before
breakfast and then ett q slice ov dri
oast and haff tho yielk ov a pullet's
,g, and felt all the time az weak w a
Kitten that had just come out ov a
lit.
I hav laid down more, than two
thousand times, and rolled over once
! minnit all mite long, and got up in
he morning like a korpse, and there
lidn't nothing seem to all me emmy
where in partiklar.
l hav read whole Hberys on the
tummuk and liver and when i got
hru i knu grate deal less what was
he matter ov me than when begun.
l hav drank whiskee with roots
n it enuff TO carry off emmy bridge or
aw mill dam in the country.
hav worked on a farm for mi W.T.
les and board, and dieted on fride
ork and ri bred until was thin az
he sermon ov a seven day baptiss
reacher.
hav dun all these things and ten
housand other things just as ridiklus,
nd hav got the old dispepshee yet,
lst az natral and az thik az the pim-
les on four-year-old goose. u
If yu git q good hold ov the dis
epshe once you kant never loose it
ntirely; it will cum around once in
while like a ghost, and if it don't
lare yu so mntoh az it did once, and
lake you think yu are going to die
o-morrow, it will make you feel just
z sorry.
Yures, JOSH BILLINGS.