The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-10-09
YOURS TRULY" AT MRS. BAL
LOUiS BENEFIT,

LOUIS BENEFIT.
Her beau was displeased about it. He
chad no notion" he said, 'of patrOniz-
ing MeDonald's organ" That machine
had been grinding so long and so furi-
ously that the public mind cried hold,
enough; and he wouldn't go to the ben
eft, and, man-like, wanted Yours Truly
to stay away because he did. Yours
Truly didn't see it. Did you ever know
a girl of the period who would be
thwarted in her aspirations by man
The next best thing was to get company
elsewhere. Not that there was real
need of it, for she had ticket, and it
was moonlight, and she didn't need
company, only to appease the gossip of
Mr.. Grundy; but that had to be done,
and she found good-natured boy with
pale hair plastered over flat forehead,
who was anxious to attend, and hadn't
any money, and she rendered him
complimentary" and received the IA
vor of his protection for the evening.
Addie L. Ballou was in her glory.
The ''Triple Thunderer" sat in a conspic-
uous front seat, his speaking eyes ridicu-
lously suggestive of the condition of his
mentality. Evidently the fair Addie
has captured him, soul, body and States
man, and he wears his chains with
sublimity of gratitude that makes him
the laughing stock of the citizens of the
Capital.
There was a small audience, and this
surprised Yours Truly, who had read the
Statesman, and expected rush; but
the lecturer, in neat black silk dress,
with red rose in her hair, and port
folio in her fingers, sat down to await
the speech of the blonde-whiskered Cap
tain, who was little "dashedm at first;
but he soon recovered self-possession,
and made 4 speech that caused Yours
Truly TO thank the lucky stars that had
cast her lot-among the pioneers"
The first part of the lecture was q
carefully compiled and somewhat con-
densed history of the United States,
copied principally from Wilson's School
Books, and read in a voice not remark
able for articulation of utteranee. The
language was as fowery, poetic and
[ pointless as joaquin Miller's ''Songs of
the Sierras," and the more pointless and
poetic il was, the better Mcdonald
seemed TO like it. Oh, it's grand to be a
genius Then in her journey "West
and West" the reader came to Cali
J fornia, where she certainly outdid her
self in yiyidness Of description, carrying
one over the valley of the Sacramento to
the "western edge of the world" and
suspendiug you breathless over the bill
lowy ocean, while holding up Shasta,
I Jefferson and Hood before your mental
gaze; and as she sent the forked light
nings around their SUBMITS, or paused
to call your attention to the beautiful
'Tum Water" you sympathized with
her invocation to joaquin Miller as
she plead with him to leave the "Isles
of the Amazons," and revel In the
brighter beauties of the roaring Oregon.
Her tribute to Father Waller was ten
derly, touchingly beautiful.
But Yours Truly has no desire to ape
or anticipate McDonald's rhetorical
llourishes. so, when the last we'll
rounded period was properly pro-
nounccd, she demurely took the arm of
her youthful protector and wended her
way to the hotel, mentally swapping her
/ fingers at her stalwart ideal beau, who
was smoking in the bar-room and busy
with the sulks.
The young man who wants q capable,
Independent, afTectionate, loyal, indus
trious wife, whom he will love too dear
ly to want to bend her will entirely to
his, and who has common sense enough
to honor the woman who recognizes her
own supreme individuality while never
neglecting to consider his inalienable
prerogatives, is hereby respectfully So
licited to correspond with
YOURS Truly.