The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-06-04
NUMBER So
nEisoallansous.

a great objection in life-A giant.
If your brain is on fire blow it ont.
Letting off sleep" is little boys def
milton Of snoring.
Epitaph for cannibaI-"One who loved
When is match frivilous2 ? When it
makes light of things
Why should should magistrate be very
cold 2 Because he represents Justice.
What nation is most likely TO succeed
IN dlfhcult enterprise? Determination.
Why is ship designated as "she2" Be-
cause she always has man on the look
out.
Many Of the daily papers say they are
opposed to imitation, and yet they are con-
siantly blowing up people.
Newspaper readers do not like 10 peruse
indifferent poetry by little girls-unless
the little girls are their own
| The Cincinnati elephant that swallowed
Two gallons OF whisky at one gulp says
that he took it for "a cold
A man hangs himself and mo cause"
Is assigned, when every one must know
that the rope was the cause
There is laughter in Chicago because a
81. Louis detective vent there and had his
pockets picked on horse car.
A lady asked veteran which rifle car
rled the maximum distance. The old chap
answered, "The Minnie, mum. !"
A country boy having heard of sailors
heavlng up anchors, wanIed to know If IL
was seasickness that made them do it.
A Texas man recently declined to re-
ceive telegraphic dispatch from yellow
fever locality lest he might catch the dis
ease.
A Sunday school scholar being asked
what became Of men who deceived their
feiloW-men, promptly exclaimed, "They
go to Europe"
A matchmaker wants to know whether
{ If q man runs away from seoiding wife,
g his movements should not be called a
: lever escapement.
':Kind words are wonderful in their
way" says an exchange, "but SO far as
| children go, a boot-jack exerts more
4 powerful influence"
A Philadelphia youth was recently mar
: ried to girl who had refused him eigh-
J teen times. He wishes now he hadn't
: : asked her but seventeen.
4 A lady asked Mr.. Johnson if he liked
: children. "Don't kno y, ma'am," answer
= ed the Grabbed old gentleman "never tined
J. A man was hoasting that he had been
5, married for twenty years and had never
It given his wife cross word. Those who
y knew him say he didn't dare TO-.
/ "This summer the ladies are going to
h dress their hair as they did three hundred
re years ago." says an exchange. This makes
,r some of the ladies pretty old.
l. "I'm so thirstyp' said boy at work in
II a cornfsld. "Well, work away, said his
SO industrious father. "You know the proph-
:, ct says: Hoe, every one that thirsteth. :"
A hard-money Congressman condensed
3 his speech by holding ten-dollar green
- back In one hand and a ten-dollar gold
~ piece in the other, and asking, (Which
q. will you. have"
Ill The Chicago Tribune estimates that get
Mt ting born costs the people of the United
r. States $220, ,095 600 annually; getting mar
OF risd, $3.50, 100000; getting buried, $73,.
ng 839, ,450; total, $543, ,9S4, ,450.
er A lady who rouged very highly. inquir-
at ed of gentleman, under the plea OF in
as disposition, how he thought she looked
nd "I really cannot tell, madame" he replied
%unless you uncover your face.
us A Mormon bridegroom was slmultane
nd ously married to three blushing brides il
Salt Lake City recently. Some confusion
~ was oFeatOd aftor he oSEonaon5 bYoaohas asr1d
he persisting in her individual right to tn
70. fret kiss.
-, She lives in Douglas county, Oregon
- has been married eight times, has eigh
~ living husbands, and lives with none {
~ them. Her daughter, aged twenty -threS
-rS with energetic emulation has disposed {
~ three husbands.
mt A st. Louis lawyer asked witness /
the court, did you ever know Mr.. Suthel
rls- land TO go back on bargain2' The op
posing counsel objected to the question @
m the ground that it was not grammatica
nal and the judge sustained the objection.
TIE PRINTERS AGAIN An ardent lo'
er, pouring out his passionate devotion
verse, spoke of the night when, walkiI
,;as with his sweetheart, he kissed her und
md the silent stars" In print he was MAJ
80 80 to say that he clicked her under the ce
,srs lar stairs"
ore, Reuben Smith, of North6eld, VT, wan
ed to die because he thought his wife W
unkind TO him. He took morphine, b
the wife was prompt enough with restor
tives TO keep him alive. So he watch
for another chance, escaped to the ba