The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1874-08-25
MfSCELANEOUS.

~OIty.
The most difficult ascent-Gitting up
a subscription.
Receipt for hot breakfast Admire
your landlady's new bonnet.
Injun probabilities: ''Mebbe snow
next week; mebbe heap mn hot"
A Memphis paper defines advertising
to be ''blister which draws trade"
Jones says that why he isn't married
is because that when he wooed she
wouldn't
In Delaware the price for calling the
Court ga bloated old rhinoceros," is
just SIS.
Charity Ann Burden, of Indianapolis,
has gone into the Divorce Court to get
rid of her Burden.
To secure soowl of perfect disgust
from woman, tell her that a caterpillar
is crawling on the back of her dress.
It is considered pretty well-settled
fact that death has no terrcrs for the
man who narries woman after thirty
years courtship of her.
Col. Egerton, in the House of Com
mons, said philanthropy is SO energetic
that cit requires good deal of influence
nowadays to get hanged %
Mr.. Greeley did not invent the phrase
$50 West" as is generally supposed.
The original of the remark was when
Ruth said many years B. @, "Where
thou go West I will CO.
A darkey, left in charge of telegraph
Office while the operator went TO dinner,
heard some one ''calr'' over the wires,
and began shouting at the instrument:
'sDe operator isn't yer!'' The noise
ceased.
We often hear of people who are too
poor to marry, but California couple
who had been engaged for some time,
married because they could not afford
to keep two separate rooms IN board
ing house.
Deserted by all except his aged bob
tailed dog, his life went slowly out as
the shadows of the setting sun crept
over che front stoop of Darling's gro
Gerry" is the way they express themselves
in Georgia.
4 Davenport newspaper speaks of a
doctor in that city looking with deep
meaning smile upon a large lot OF green
cucumbers in the market" On his way
home be YVES observed to whisper conf
dentially to several undertakers.
A criminal court-Sparking another
mans wife.
It can at least be said of most self
made mel tlis.t they worship their exc
ator
Where there's will there's way,
and. too often, a way to get around 1t.
What is that which ties two persons,
but only touches one? A wedding
ring.
Why should young ladies' never wear
stays Because it is SO horrid to see a
girl tight.
miss?" 80, yes, sir, l think we can, if
we put our heads together.
'.Sambo, did you ever see the Catskill
Mountains?'' ''No, sab; but I've seen
I'M kill mice"
Every Jack should have his Gill, but
the trouble is that Jack generally wants
a quart.
April-The first is All-fools' Day.
This is the day TO make promises of
marriage and accept the accommodation
bills. Go it!
The wife of roofer being asked if she
was not afraid to have her husband ex-
posed to such danger, trustfully replied:
ooh, he's insuredr'
At a recent fair held in Montgomery,
Ala, a premium was offered for the
young woman who would make the
best wife for poor man.
It isn't always best TO call things by
their right names. A young gentleman
called a coach dog q Dalmatian hound,
and was informed by his 1fdacee that il
he could not refrain from profanity, in
her presence they must henceforth be as
strangers.
A lady near MankaIo disiocated her
jaw by gaping, SO that she could not
shut her mouth. The surgeon who re-
duced the dislocation has, the Review
says, ''that satisfaction Of knowing that
he made one woman shut her mouth.
4 lady called on a witty friend, who
was not at home, and finding the piano
dusty, wrote upon it "slattern. The
next day they met, and the lady said !:
Il called on you yesterday" eyes, /
saw your card on the piano
A precocious Young lad being asked
in school how many kinds Of meter there
were, answered, promptly: ''fiye-long
meter, short metee, particular meter,
,ras meter and meet her bv moonlight