Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-09-03
THE HER AID.
WOMAN THAT GOULD BE DE-
PENDED ON.

A certain lodge of the Independent
Order of Odd Fellows determined 20
have their lodge room done up clean
and nice. 1t was resolved uuanl-
mously that Mrs. x. should be en-
ployed to do the job. After the
meeting adjourned, the Guardian,
who knew the inquistive character OF
Mrs. K, procured billy-goat ana
nIaced him in a closet that was kept
az a reservoir for the secret things.
He then informed the woman OF the
wishes of the lodge, and requested
her to come early the next morning
and he would then show ner what
was and what was not to be done.
Morning came, and with it Mad
anne T., with her broom, brushes,
pals, ETC., and found the Guardian
waiting for her. :,
"Now, madame" he said, 81 will
tell you what we want done, ana
how we came to employ you. The
brothers said it was difficult to get
ANYBODY to do the job and not be
meddling with the secrets in the
closet we have lost the key and can
not find it to lock the door. | as
sured them that you can be depend
ed on"
Depended on | guess | can. My
poor dead and gone husband he be-
longed to the Free Masons or anti
Masons, I don't know which. He
used to tell me all tho secrets of the
concern, and when be showed me
ali the marks of the grid-iron, made
when he was Initiate /, and told me
how they fixed poor Morgan, [ new
er told living soul to this day; il
nobody troubles your closet to find
out your secrets till do, they will
lie there till they rot, they will
81 thought So" said the Guardian
"and | want you to commence 10
that corner and give the whole room
o decent cleaning; now don't get
into that closet" and then left the
woman to herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound
of his feet on the last step of the
bIhiIo IuHn SUI CANtotihN0
"Don't go into that closet III
warrant there's grid-iron or some
nonsense, Just like the anti Masons,
for all the world I'll be bound. l
will take q peep, and no one will be
the wiser, as | can keep it to my
self.
Suiting the action to the word, she
stopped lightly to the forbidden clos
ct, and tarned the button, which was
no sooner done than "Bah |" went
the billy-goat, with spring to re-
gain his liberty, which came near up
setting her ladyship. Both started
for the door, but it was filled with
implements for house-cleaning, and
all were swept clear from their posi-
ton down to tho bottom of the
stairs
The noise and confusion occasion
ed by such unceremonious coming
down the stairs drew half the town
to witness Mrs. KS. efforts to get
from under the pile of pals, tubs,
brooms, and brushes in the street.
Who should be the first at the
spot but the rascaliy door-keeper ?
After releasing the goat, which was
a cripple for life, and uplifting the
rubbish that bound the good woman
to the earth, he anxiously inquired
if she had been taking the degrees.
Taking the degrees! If you cal
tumbling from the top to the bottom
of the stairs with the devil after you
taking things by degrees, | have
them, and if ye frighten folks as yc
have frightened me, and hurt to
boot, I'll warrant they will make as
much noise as | did,"
II hope you didn't open the closet,
madam" said the d0or-keeper.
open the closet? Eve ate the
apples she was forbidden. If you
want woman to do anything, tell
her not to do it, and she'll do it GER
tain. [ could not stand the tempta-
ton. The secret was there. /
wanted to know it. | opened the
door and out popped that tarnal crit
ter right into my face. thought
the old boy had me, and | broke for
the stairs with the critter batting
me at every jump. | fell over the
tub, and got down stairs as you
found US, all in heap"
"But, madam" said the oor-keep-
err, "you are in possession of the
great secret of our order, and must
90 up to be initiated and sworn, and
then go in the regular way.
Regular way exclaimed the a.
dy, sand do you suppose | am 60
ing near the tarnal place and ride
that ar tarnal critter without bri.
die or lady's saddle No, never
don't want nothing to do with the
man that rides it. I'd look nice
perched upon billy-goat, wouldn't
II No, never | never will go nigh
1t again, and if | can prevent it nc
woman shall ever join the Odd Eel
lowsl Why, I'd sooner be a Ere,
Mason, and be broiled on gridiroI
rs long as the fire could be kept IN
der it, and pulled from garrett anC
cellar, just as was my poor dead hus
band And he lived over it, but ]
never could live over such another
ride as that"
S~One of the finest exhibition
of woman's fidelity and heroism i