The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-04-10
.--- "a. o 80 -=--
VARIETIES,

"A Gcrmantowncr went out to get his
boots heecd about eight years ago, and as
he has never returned, his wife is becoming
uneasy.
A physician, examining student us
to his progress, asked him: SHOULD man
fall into well forty feet deep, and strike
his head against one of the tools with
which he had been digging, what would
be your course if called III rs Il surgeon T.
The student replied, II should advise to
let the man lie and fill up the we'll"
"A few days ago u very handsome lady
entered Il dry-goods house and inquired
for 'bow." The polite clerk threw him.
self back and remarked that he was ut her
service. Yes, but l want buff not
green one" was the reply Tie young
man went on measuring goods Immediately.
"A negro philosopher, discussing the re-
latons of races, said: you know de
turkey, he roost on de fence, and de goose he
roost on dc ground.n You will pull de
turkey off de fence and he get up again.
You craps his wings, but somehow or mud
der lie gwine to get back on dc fence. Now.
you put dc goose on dc fence, an he fall
off; he don't belong dar. De turkey am
dc white man. 1lecze down now, but is
gwine to get up ugin. De nggar is de
goose. Hr better Stay whar he b'longs,
We hear great stories of the mammoth
fruits and vegetables of California, but
think they will hide their diminished
head at yam which grew near Tongatabo,
Sandwich Islands. This vegetable mon
stcr was twelve years in growing, and when
ripe weighed ton. 1t grew on a spot
called Tabud, from chief of that name
who was killed there. The captain of
whale ship obtained permission to take it
on board of his ship, but being interdicted
from breaking it up on the shore was forced
to leave it.
The plaintiff in Il recent case at court
was asked what he expected to gain by
such Il suit. His reply was, You havo
heard of the man who, gong down the
river i'll Il llat-boat, moored the boat one
day to the bank, and, going up into the
timber, found a man engaged climbing
first one tree, then rapidly descending (and
occasionally tallingD and running to anoth-
er tree and repeating the operation. Con-
tinuing this for some time, the ilut-boat
man approached the stranger (being curl
Gus to know the Object OF his strange ma
neuyrcs) and asked what he was doing
The stranger, pointing to Il woodpecker on
the topmost branch, asked the flat, boat
man he saw that woodpecker. Yes said
the other, but you certainly do not expect
TO catch it3 "'No, Of course not, said tue
stranger, but will worry it,"
Correspondents Of the Eceniag Post
have been calling in question the good
taste OF using the word thanks" instead
of the old fashioned thank you" One CT
these declares "thanks' to be decidedly
brutal in its abruptness. Brutal is strong
word, but we must confess that the prac-
tice complained of almost deserves the
epithct. TO our cars an abrupt thanks"
is very scant courtesy one had better not
respond at all if the utterance of another
word is too much ola tax for him. A Sec
ond correspondent of the Post tells us that
this term came into vogue iu England
some time ago, but that it is no longer used
among the best people there, and predicts
in consequence that its use will soon dis
appear We shall give hearty thanks if
| the prediction prove true.