The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-01-03


A Kansas county treasurer has just got ava
with $4,000. As usual, Chicago is stu ahead
When Major Pauline Cushman arrived in sal
Francisco lately, she wanted to lecture, bu
couldn't afford to advartisc. SO she just COW
hided a. man in public, and is now one of TIN
pearls of the platform.
James Russell Lowell, in his 1.-THE Courtin,
has drawn by anticipation an excellent portral
of the average salary-grab Congressman OF The
day;
He stood spell on one foot fust,
Then stood spell on tother;
An on which one he felt the Tust
He couldn't ha told ye, nuther.
Great regret was expressed at tho Boston tea
party on Tuesday night that Susan IS Anthony
was not on hand with some Of her choice per-
sonal rccollections of the original event in l773
ct slept in an Editors bed last night,
When no Editor Glanced to be nigh,
And | thought, as tumbled that Editors nest,
How easily Editors LIE.
If the nights lodging was followed by no
worse consequences than that, you got Off un.
commonly cheap.
They have nice notions of etiquette in Nevada
An unmanncrly chap there killed man in
theatre during the performance. He was elected
without having his admission money refunded,
and friend Of the murdered man threatened to
kick him besides. Thus is bad breeding swiftly
punisccd in the far west.
Samuel Shaw, of Biddeford, Me, said he
wouldn't get up and light fire, and his wife said
she wouldn't, and they renamed in bed thirty
seven hours. She finally yielded, owing to
hunger.
There's husband for you that will always be
the head Of his family.
Two DeKalb county clcrgymen are trying to
see how cheap man can live and keep fat. One
does il on ninety cents week, and the other on
Sl-good, plain food.
And no teaing out?
Says the Atkinson, (Kansas) Globe:
While the soldiers were digging up the dead at
Fort Kearney, last week, one coffin was taken up
that was literally filed with snakes. Some wag
remarked that it was plain enough what that
fellow died Of.
When the negro down in Louisiana was hauled
up for stealing bacon, he put in as a defense that
he was told 10y his political teachers, that now
when he had the right to vote, be must take
sides" somewhere.
The Sabbath schools Of Madison, Ind, are made
to draw" by advertising an exhibition Of stuffed
animals, and it ID pleasant sight to see 200 good
little children grouped around the case contain.
ing the wild cat
1t Is announced from Washington that the late
President Lincoln's coachman has been appoint.
cd to a snug place in the Treasury Department.
This goes far TO confirm the popular belief that
ours is = stable government.
A TLusyille paper says: " 4 man called at one
Of our shoe stores yesterday and vainly cssaycd
10 get on either numbers II, 10 or IS shoes. The
ttorc-keeper then suggested that he should put
on a thinner pair Of stockings and try on the
box"
In l7i6 Thomas Siddal aid Thomas Deacon
we're bcheaded at Tyburn as mon jurors" and
their heads were fixed upon the Exchange. Some
Of their friends in passing reverently bowed to
them, which act, innocent and natural enough
in itself, was regarded as popery-a wor-
shipping Of saints-and gave birth to not few
squibs and Verses. The following was by n
Quaker:
DoiHng the hat hold no sign of grace,
Saving in prayer, which was perhaps the case I;
But yet my friend, hope II may be eald
I'd rather see hat off than head.
Another poet, not broad brim," favored the
public with the following;
The dell has set these heads TO view,
And put them upon poles;
Poor dell, twas all that he could do,
When God las ta'en their soulsl
An Arkansas exchange thus closes touching
obituary:
Grim death has taken darling little Jerry,
Only son of Joseph and Serena Howells;
Seven days he wrestlcd with the Gyscntcry,
And then he persisted in his little bowels.
Il Is necessary that public worship shoul,
sometimes give way to extraordinary exigencies
Owing to John Robinson's circus being in town
the regular Thursday evening prayer meeting
has been postponed" says the Enterprise o
Dallas, Texas.
Four devils were cast out of the new Windso
TINES Office In one month, and yet the editor see
snakes.
The Danbury Sers man says: "Yeste 'day wal
colder than an oil-cloth"
A question with the newspapers is, What has
the transit Of Venus to 90 with all this cheap
transit talk?'
The following Is from the Lynchburg, Tenn,
P;9Hecr Of The 2sth: "The weather for the past
few days has been splendid for killing hogs and
q great many have taken advantage ofitr
An affecting obituary in an Iowa paper thus
concludes He was good man, but then he
sometimes bet on the wrong horse, as all of us
are liable TO do"
Society at Davenport needs lifting up peg.
There are eleven scdn. mag. caser three clopc-
mcnts, two church trials, aud case of eInbezzlc-
mcnt for the gossips 10 grow fat over.
Springfield opens soup house on Monday for
the bene 1t Of the poor. The provision is timely
- the legislature meets there on Tuesday.
An eminent scientist Of London went To the
Lord Mayor with an Offer for a consideration, to
disclose plan for the absolute freedom Of that
city from fogs. The Mayor had the man locked
up az 4 maniac, not that the feat was impossible
but because the man imagined London could
exists without its fogs.
A woman who "adored" her husband, stated