The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-03-17
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TUESDAY MORNING, MARCH II, 1874

|IHE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING, MARCH II, 1874
Gossip and Cleaning.
ine Great Unwashed' '-Onr statues,
marcn has laid aside the lamb, and now
comes in like goat.
Chlcago lady who wants to improve her
nino has ordered zone marble figger of
Apollo"
Inc female umbrella Makers of New York
are on strike. No report of the male um-
brella business is received.
A fathers legacy:
Art is long and Time is feeting;
Life itself is but span
Knucke down, my boy, to "business''-
Rob and plunder while you can.
IF man bequeathed you hundred
pounds, would you pray for him ?" said a
Sunday y-school teacher to pupil. ''No," said
he; II would pray for another like him.
Adam had one consolation when he fell.
Flneen or twenty acquaintances didn't stand
on the opposite corner and laugh at his mis-
hap. -.A. a
1t was North Carolina landlord who pos
ted the notice in his dining-room that mem
bers of the Legislature would be first seated,
and afterwards the gentlemen.
For an instance of remarkable presence of
mind, commend us to the sagacious Illinois
woman, who, when her husband was bitten
by mad dog, drew a pistol and prompt tly
shot the man.
A bright youth in Richmond, KY, learn
ing that gas was to be introduced, and OBJ
serving the workmen digging out places for
the pipe, inquired OF one of them ''how deep
they would 60 down before they struck gas.
A convivial gentleman of Bloomington, ILL.,.
recently woke up a lecturer, who had re.
tired, after the nights Performance, to say
that he had been too late for the lecture,
and to offer him fifty cents to speak it over
again.
new dish is grape leaves fried in egg bat
ter; it is called French dish. An exchange
remarks: We cant think of anything that
would be more delicious than fried grapes
leaves, unless it isa circus poster on toast"
Husbands are well protected in Kansas.
A woman who makes her husbands life des-
ert of sadness by maulirg him out OF bed
with the rolling pin is not only sent to prison
for three months, bu he receives game
supper at the hands of his friends.
A pair of Srn Francisco fools recently char
tered a tug and steamed outside the bar, with
the romantic intention of having the wedding
ceremony performed on the bounding billow.
1t is comforting to know they were very sick
and were obliged to return unmarried.
A strolling minstrel was recently arrested
out in Missouri Tor small theft and fined two
dollars. Having no money the judge adjourn
| ed for half an hour and the minstrel gave a
show, the court" taking the fac ont in
trade.
Damon: "Hullo, Pythias! What's the
matter ?" Pythias: 80, my dear fellow
Pve-tut-t-t-t-'( (Objurgations)- )-'T've been
writing to my tailor to give me another inch
and half in the waistband, and composed a
valentine to my adored Clara, and-O!-pve
put 'em iu to the wrong envelopes-and
they're posted!!p' Breaks down.
Balls romposed Of gold, silver, peavl, or
English jet garnet are now the correct things
to be worn on collars and cuffs. A ball is at
tached to each end of chain and passed
through the collar, and ball on each side
showing the chain through the centre. They
are fastened to the cuffs in the same manner
If you understand dogs, there isn't much
| danger from then. i never saw one thai
would bite me, Dogs, you see, are like men
if you pretend to know them, they are moi
| sure but you do, and at least believe that a
certain civility is due to the doubt. The fact
| that you arn't afraid ofthem, too, has to bott
dogs and men a convincing, peace-making
mystery about it.-O,ren Br0,cn
1 will be rich! said,
And am poor;
will be great!
% And am least OF all;
When am old, said i,
And am dead,
will be lovedl
And am clean forgot!
will be wise! t
This one truth have learned:
That death alone was certain in my life
Danbury Neaos: Mrs. Peggerty had part.
at her house Saturday evening, and yer,
pleasant party it was-being conducted OF
the latest approved principles of aristocrati'
taste. Mrs. Peggerty does scrubbing at SOM
| of the best houses in Danbury, and under
stands herself in consequence. With hal
! dozen sheets of her own, and a number ber-
rowed, Mrs. Peggerty's furniture was neatl!
L in, xuhi fho nf hx