The Cairo bulletin., 1874-12-23
q hr 8ulletin.
PARAGRAPHS.

4
,roach of ''compctiting' gas company.
A corporation that can afford TO wear an
expensive adjective like that ought to
turn out large quantities of gas with
great facility.-BostOn Giobc.
A merchant in New York subscribcs !
lioerally to the honor of the poet Bryant
s,,pposing that he was subscribing Tor the |
benetit of the minstrel oi that name. On |
l.arning his mistake. he withdrew his
subscription. There i no accounting for
tas,e.-St. Louis GLOBE.
A Milcsian having returned to his
native land. was asked to give an illus-
tration of American enterprise. Made
answer the Irplandcr: "If Yankee was
| shipwrecked OH an uninhabited island
the following morning lac would be sell
ing newspapers to all the inhabitants.'
A gentleman said to his gardener :;
George. the time will come when man
will De- able to carry the manure OF an
acre of land In one of his waistcont pock-
ets." 70 which the gardener replied; II
believe it. sir: but he will b. able to carry
all the crop in the other pocket.
An adroit thief who abstracted an
e ostentatiously displayed check i"'
"A thousand dollars from the
gins at wedding the other day
day, only to find that the old mans lal-
ance in the bank was four dollars
and inv cents. thinks there l. no chance
for honest industry ia this city.-Brook-
iyn dygus.
An energetic lady in Olwein. Iowa.
laments her inability to vote. "Why. IL
I were a man." he said recently. "Td 90
to the polls IL had to be laid on a
feather bed, placed OH stone boat, and
hauled by blind ox with one leg
broken, but I'd vote But whats the Use
of talking =
--Corpulcnt old lady--"I should like Il
ticket for the train" Booking clerk
(who thinks lc will make jokc)-"les:
will you go in the passenger train or cat
tic train Z" Lady-'Wcll, if you are -
specimen of what | shall experience in
the passenger train, give me ticket for
the cattle train by all means. .'-Ponch
"A western paper tells u, that "a lc-
male book agent at La Crosse knocked u
lawyer down with SD Bible. and then
knocked his teeth out with 50 hymn
book" Arm that woman with IN Ordin-
AIRY library of costly religious books and
she will whip her weight in wildcats
; Louisville COWier-JOVJHdi.
"A young lady at home from board
ing-school for the holidays, was asked il
she would have roast beef. when sh,
replied: NO, thank you; gastronom'
ical safety admonislies me that | hay,
arrived at the ultimate stage of dcglut
ton consistent with dictctic integrity"
The young lady was ntNcr asked il ,h,
would have anything ever again.
! AS my wife at the window one beau
| tilul day, stood watching man with
monkey, a cart CAME along with Il brotl
Of boy who wa, driyinga stout little don
, key. TO my wife then spoke. by wa.
of a joke, "Thcrc's relation of yours i
that carriage" To which she replied
when the donkey she ,pied, "Ah yes.
relation by marriage
-"The only thoroughly blightcd b,
Ing, says the St.LouiS Journal. is the ma
who has been deceived in a mccr>chaun
When he has expended his money ia PM
chasing the costly comfort, when he Ia
consumed tobacco enough to unsette ii
nerves Of n rhinoceros and the stubbor
pipe still refuses to color, demonstratin
to him the fact that he has been sold, the
does the hollowncss of this world and a
that therein is become fully and DISCUS
ingly apparent