The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-10-24


When the heavenly hand shall
The cord Of life, and hs freed soul nies
To dwell with hIs forever.
VARIETY.
All the bows born in Massachusetts, this year
have been called Charles Sumner, without
distinction Of COLOR
NOTHING MADE IN VAIN A Minnesotian has
made a drink from ground-up grasshoppers, q
half pint Of which makes a man hopping drunk.
It Is much cheaper than corn whiskey, and will
probably soon find Its way into New York bar
rooms
REJECTED HM.-A Brooklyn girl has just re-
jected suitor because his arm wasn't long
enough to 20 round her. She says If she is going
to have q lover at all, she means TO have a good
fit
Coon TOAsT-The toast Of q Fenian -r-
An bal, saIl The h. A%srisa5 NJ srs,a1 siss ri hail
The o9 % Sa. s.i a.. 20 o. 1Ss q. 1aa ssaaa 9sar S:
HIS TRADE-Sing Sing Official" If you have
any trade, prisoner, state It. and We will put you
20 work ut It," Prisoner Gust entered)-'' Well,
boss, I was brung up bartender, and Id like
70 90 20 work at that"
When a stranger stands On a public square in
Denver spits on bis hands and cries out, '' Climb
on to me by thousands :" even the Postmaster
pulls OF bis coat and goes out to make the re-
Spouse n success
I've got 'em again. shouted Mississippi
boatman when FIRST the comet burst upon his be-
wildered vision. And then he wildly proceeded
90 relate his experience "a Snakes I've had be-
fore, and now the stars have got tails on 'em.
E'm a dead man J" So much for knowing too
much Of whisky and too little OF astronomy.
A far-sighted fellow at Bristol, England, wrote
10 his fiancee, (" I wish, my darling, that you
would not write me such long letters If you
were TO bring an action for breach OF promise
againet me the lawyers would copy the correspon-
dence between US and charge fourpence for every
folio of segenty-two words. The shorter the let
tiers the more we save from the lawyers"
A lecturer ON natural history was called upon
the other day to pay for live rabbit he had in
a basket in a railwsy carriage, and which the
ticket-colleetor said would be charged the same
"a a dog The lecturer vainly explained that he
was going 70 use the rabbit IN illustration OF
lecture in a provincial town and, Indignantly
taking small live tortoise from his pocket, said,
You'll be telling me next that this Is dog,
and that must pay for 1T also Ine TICKET
taker went for superior orders, and on his return
delivered this lecture IN natural history, caIs .
is dogs, and rabbits is dogs but tortoise is
hinsect.
How THEY WALTZ AT PUT-N-BAY.-" People
NAV sav that a waltz is o waltz, but it is mis-
take: as much as to say that dog is a dog; for
there are dogs and dogs, and waltzes and Waltzes.
With one person it is the poetry OF motion with
another it is about as awkward performance as
nutting yourself upon 9 level and going through
the motion Of running up stairs would be. A
Kentucky girl is a natural waltzer, and sne does
II with a charming chic and abandon. An ONO
girls waltzing is easy, graceful and " meioolous-
If she happens TO come nom cincinnati anu anu
across the kline, she swings dreamily round and
ronnd in the endless Sc Dutch waltz. LII she
comes from Chicago, abe throws her hair pack,
Jumps up and cracks her heels together, and car
ries of her astonished partner as though amoon
Rad struck him. and knocks over all intervening
abstacIes in her mad career around the room. 1t
sbe IL from Indiana, she creeps slowly and tmidly
nm IN her partner, though she WOULD IKE "
-et into his vest pocket, and melts away witE
ecstacy as the wItching strains oil the " biue
Danube sweep through the hall. Ii she rs
f,ou Missouri, she crooks her body IN the middle
ikea door-hinge, takes Der partner by the snoui-
der and makes him miserable in trying to hop
Ground her without treading on her NO. shoes'
II she comes from Michigan, sne as'onisnes ,, "eI ~
nartDer by now and then working IN a touch ol
the doubie-shuhle, or q bit OF pigeon-Sing, VIII
the waltz step ; and if she comes from Arkansas
.be throws both arms around his neck, rolls Up
her eyes as she floats away, ana Is hearo 70 Hlnr-
muir, Oh, hug me, John
IxK PARrrxGroS's CoNPosITIoN.-'' Plymouth
Roe;r', being the subject given out foE the exer'
tsS.-f,b ,bs schoel. the teachers and boys were as
tooished at the following luminous composHioI
b. Tts Partingtou, which displays great historical
aSumen and q most astonishing chronoioSica
IS plymouth Rock. This rock was brought Z
.bis country in the MaytaOtcer, IN the year I1yz IA
~ re PILGRIMS, under the direction OF Eldel
SS.,,.n Brewster, who afterward moved TO Bostor
- became an alderman or that city It was OF
tbis rock that Governor Carver hrst snOoE NAM manu-
;th Samoset who said, Welcome TO Engilsh
- - m is recorded that when Samoset came uI
GoverDor Carver asked him II ne was reA
SnI;ne or onIy a member Of an Ingine company
2 Tbe Rock has long been regarded as q iamou
,lace The American Eagle, for great man,
Tears- used to come and whet his oeak on tn'
yySck hut in 1853 Miles Standish IN order % keel
= f-or being stolen, carried and put Il IN ironI
PiI1rim Hall, where it remains a. tns pr -,
tine invested with great interest ana an T9' M
Ss1ce The fence bears the names Oh al 'ne Z -
1-;ms in cast-iron letters that can't DC Fuo"e
- The Rock is a good deal worn out og - =
allusions touching it that are tnrD~I DIi - AZ
ro-,rtb of July orators. Plymouth h0ck S. y ~
.Orne--stooe OF the cellar-wan OF our
ssructure, paregorieally speaking, ana .ns ~
- i;bertT ats upon it with drawn s"olu AZ y =.
JS and the torch Of freedom IN the o,nel - -
~ 60 invade the shores OF Pymou!,n d. - Ste
,..tsT-6Dr they never can get at IL - -" r. =
80 wiII throw this rock IN their go -. -,
tney Ieoacv from the past to the pTesen', ~
pEeCAON al fhe Pilgrim B Efukfcs7'