The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-03-27
affixed the great seal
SEAL of state. Done at To
peka this 7th day of
March, A. d. 1874.
w. III. SMALLwooD.
Secretary of State.
sPLISrERs.

/ ala 81 = SAat 7Gud 0iAG Il
right, and Yale says it is '.in
| quire."
The ways OF woman-Any
where from ninety to two hun
dred pounds.
'f you are counting a GIRL
says California paper, ''stick to
her, no matter how large her faith.
er's feet arer
When our ancestors wanted q
hot rum punch, they said so with
out evasion; they did not call it
''kettled-rum."
The captain remarks that steer
age passengers ought 60 be very
well behaved, they have SO much
deck Ger EN-.
Pittsburg is trying to find a
man who does not belong to a
lodge, grange, club, post, temple,
eneampment or order.
An Oswego woman advertises
that she has purchased a shot
gun, and viii shoot any man who
gives her husband liquor.
How happily things turn out.
1t is now declared that Gladstone
has long been very anxious to
Withdraw from public life.
There are over ten million
women in America, and yet Tom
Hutton, of Georgia, hung him
self on account of a girl fifteen
years old.
The Wyoming Journals fees
for marriage notices are 'sas high
as the ecstacy and liberality of
the bridegroom may prompt"
A two cent piece was taken
from the throat of boy IN Port
land, Maine, recently, after hay
ing been lodged there for six
months.
Mrs. Green, a Kansas widow,
wants to marry again, and, as a
recommendation she says she has
used one broom for fourteen
years.
Crusade notes." are becoming
fashionable in some Western pa
pers as newspaper columns. May
these persevering do more than
sceptical men think.
A French paper points out how
the passion for gambling is
shown in this country, so that
even in wedding notices it is nee
essary to state that there were
emo cards"
Mr.. Marrowfat rather snappish-
ly remarked to his wife, last Sun
day, that man can't always be
thinking of his immortal soul.
He must have time to eat his
meals.
a malicious politician says the
Changers IN Illinois turn out to
dig the graves of deceased broth
ers, thus preventing extortion ON
the part of that ''middle-man,"
the sexton.
An Indiana editor mildly re
marks: If you can't bring us
wood, remember US in your pray
ers. 1t is something to know, as
we sit and shiver, that we are not
forgotten if the stove is cold"
At the laying of the corner
stone of the new capitol of Iowa,
no speeches were made, except q
few remarks by a workman who
got his fir gers pinched, and they
were brief and to the point.
That was practical woman
who wrote to Evangelist Ham
mond, at st Louis, asking prayers
to lift the mortgage on her farm,
that she and her little ones may
not be thl own out of home.
Honorable mention is made of a
Maine servant girl who is now
serving her eighty-second winter
under the same roof. She has
washed dishes $3.50 times, and
comes yet gaiIy to her task.
Blessed old girl!
Have the recent political de-
engagements been communicated
to the post office clock also? In
the great race of time the hands
on the south side are already sew
en- minutes ahead of those toward
| the north.
In the City Council, Kansas
City, horse railway bill, provid-
ing that ''no single person" should
pay of fare more than five cents
! was amended, on motion of Alder.
man Black to include also mar.
ried people, and passed.
/ Jewellers in crystal palaces
should refrain from the propul
sion of irregularly-shaped par
ticles of granite formation" is tn,
way in which a California editor
put the English proyerb about
stones anil glass houses.
A Western paper says that the
way to kill off the poets who offel
to write pieces gratuitously is tt
accept their efforts, hand them tt
the worst compositor and let the
proof-realer correct them accord
ing to his own ideas of prosody
This is warranted to destroy tn,
: strongest poctical fever in three
weeks.
Il The Cincinnati Enquirer offer.
to bet five hundred dollars tina
no fashionable lady ever goes t.
bed Eithout first looking in hel
glass, and a rival is willing to be
that no Cincinnati editor goes t.
bed without drinking out of his
q A shoemaker out West, with
literary turn of mind has the fol
lowing poetical gem attached T.
his shin@le:-
s1Hcre live man who never refuses,
| To mend al sorts OF boots and shoeses.
Brother Beecher," says tn
= venerable DR.. Bacon laying hi
: hand on the great preacher
2 shoulder. Brother Beecker, / fea
5 the devil whispered in your ca
/. just now, that this was very fin
E lecture" 80, no." replied Nj
: Beecher, she left that for you t
: do"
|. Dallas. Texas, Herald: -
4 sucker got of the cars at the de-
: pot yesterday to buy q smack
5 and man in q hurry asked him t
: give him two ten dollar green
f backs for q gold twenty H
t gave the man in a hurry the tw
!. ten dollar greenbacks, and foun
d - well, if the reader of th
: Reporter cannot tell how. tn
q gold pieces turned out he had be
d ter stop reading altogether.