Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-02-25


asked. "Shut your eyes and you viii
see it," said Pat.
The heavier cross, the hearter prayer;
The bruised herbs most fragrant are
If wind and sky were always fair,
The sailor would not watch the star
And Dav1d's psalms had meier been sung,
Ii grief his heart had never Wrung.
BARNEY WILLIAMS was once acting in
Philadelphia, and, being disturbed by
child's cries, said {: "Shure, there's
nurse wanted" The woman retorted:
Ono Irish need apply" and retired tri-
umphantly.
"THAT dog of yours flew at me this
morning and bit me on the leg, and I
notify you that I intend to shoot it the
first time see it, 1.-The dog is not
mad" "Mad [ know he's not mad.
What has he got to be mad about2 It's
me that's mad"
UPON the Coulter wall - of a female
college in Ohio, the other morning, was
discovered the sign, domestic Sew
ing Machines" Some of those speci-
mems of total depravity known as COL
lege students did it.
A PHILOSOPHER remarks that there is
something peculiarly instructive in
standing upon street corner in large
city and watching the men all rushing
around trying to make money and all
the women floating around trying to
spend it.
A POLITICAL orator, speaking of a
certain general whom he protested to
admire, said that on the field of battle
he was always found where the bullets
were thickest. "Where was that ?"
asked one of his auditors. "In the
ammunition wagon"
WE'LL, neighbor, what is the most
Christian news this morning g" said
a gentleman to friend. "I have Just
bought barrel of -four for a poor wo-
man." "Just like you! Who is it you
have ., happy by your charity, this
time z" "My wife,
A FRENCH musical journal complains
that France has no national anthem in
which all the Fren chmen can join.
Whereat Punch remarks, that once on
time the great Handel composed one
which they can consistently adopt,
namely, The land brought forth
frogs"
How doth the little busy pig improve
each shining hour, and gather sausages
all day from every opening fower2
And when the shades of twilight fall
he slumbers in his stye, or sings his
pretty evening him. Boot, little pig,
or die! !"
A SUBURBAN minister applied to a
ticket agent on one of the railroads for
a "clergyman's ticket" and on the
official expressing a doubt as to his
clerical character, exclaimed, eff you
don't believe I'm clergyman, Eli read
you one of my sermons!" The agent
passed over the ticket, but did not in
sist upon the proof.
A BRIGHT little girl of our city not
long since was urging her mother to
go up stairs and hear her prayers be-
fore retiring Her mother, not finding
it convenient, told her that Jesus could
hear them just as we'll. ''But, moth
er," responded the little doubter,
I" Jesus can't turn eff the gas. ''-New
Bedford Mercury.
WHEN the first time of love is over.
there comes something better still.
Then comes that other love, that faith
full friendship which never changes,
and which will accompany you with it's
calm light through the whole of life.
It is only needful to place yourself so
that it may come, and then it comes of
itself. And then everything turns and
changes itself to the best.
MONEY never made a man happy vet,
nor will 1t. There is nothing in it's
nature to promote happiness. The
more man has, the more he wants.
Instead of it's filling vacuum it makes
one. If it satisfy one want it doubles
and trebles that want another way.
That was true proverb of the wise
man, rely upon it Better is little
with fear of the Lord, than great
treasure and trouble Herewith.
CrrIzEN-Well, you see how it is
yourself, Mr.. Plumber. The girl left
the laundry-room window open, Their
mometer touched zero, water pipes
froze, then burst, and as no one knew
how to shut off the plaguy thing the
water ran half the night.
Plumber-Yes, l see; very bad
break; wants new plumbing through
out; miserable pipes Throughout
wonder it didn't happen long ago.
Citizen-How much is it going to cost
to plumb it up in good shape, includ-
ing tenders?
Plumber-Well I don't know, but I
think l will take the house in part pay
ment.