Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-08-21

Rev. "But I suppose there is some
portion of it that you were more
struck with than others"
Mol. "In troth, phase yer reverence,
l don't remember any part exactly,
bnt altogether twas mighty improv-
in'.'"
Rev. "Now Molly, how could it
be improving if you don't remember
any part of it?"
Mol. "Well, your reverence see )
that linen I've been washing and
dhrying on the hedge there?"
Rev. "Oh, certainly"
Mol. "Wasn't it the soap and wa
ther made the linen cleane sir?'
Rev. "Of course they did"
Mol. "And isn't the linen all the
better for it?"
Rev. "Oh, no doubt of that, Molly"
Mol. "But not a dhrop Of the soap
and wather stays in it. Well, sir,
it's the same thing wild me. Not a
word Of the sarmint stays in mel
suppose it all dhries out out o. me
but I'm the better and the claner for
it, when it's over, for all that
DUBLIN PORTERs, CARMEN AND WATT
All these have characteristics
which are worthy of moments no
ting. We land at Kingstown us her
majesty's mail packet is made fast,
and is pouring forth her varied
crowd of passengers on her jetty.
Instantly we have swarm Of porters
around us; some with tickets on their
arms, and some without-the former
the legitimate assistant; the latter
the poacher, who lays hands on any
stray bird he can catch. Between
these contending parties, of course,
an active war goes on-the one grand
in their authority, the other adroit in
their devices.
An example strikes us instantly.
A man without "a number" is walk
ing off with passengers luggage.
''Stopw cries out ticket man, "you
have no business with that jintle-
man." "No businessr' exclaims the
forager, ''Well, then, sure it's
pleasure l have in sarving him."
''Stop, 1 say!" shouts his antagonist;
"you know you have got no number"
mo number, do you say?-but l
have, though. Sure my number is
nine, bearin' tail to it,
Next YOU are laid hold of by
crowd of carmen.
Here's the car your honor-that's
the beauty" 'Don't believe him."
cries his rival; "he'll break down, sir.
Look at his springs! amt they tied
up with a piece of rope?" "Well,"
replies the first one, "we'll 60 the
faster for all that-wont we have the
spring ti(e)de with u.s."
The traveller is laid hold of by
both arms and pulled about in all d.
rections, while half of his luggage
is jerked on the other, he doubling
which he will be permitted to go up
on himself, when the conflict sud
denly SUBSIDIES into a mysterious con-
sultation. "Done," cries the other,
and they plunge their hands into
their pockets.
"What are you about" shouts the
bewildered passenger. "We are just
goin' to toss for You, sir;'' and they
literally cry, "heads or tails? for who
shall have the honor of his COM
pany." The man with the broken
spring loses; bnt with infinite good
humor he transfers the luggage to the
car of the winner, helps the traveller
to his seat-when, with mis-
chievous twinkle in his eye, he
says: "You lost me, sir;" (he never
says 81 lost you'0 "I'm sorry you
lost me, for you won't be able to ate
your breakfast when you get to your
howtell." "Why not?" demands the
traveller. "You'll get such a jolting
with them strong springs sir, they'll
shake every tooth out Of your head"
Other instances are related of the
humor and shrewdness of these gen.
try. A stranger on one occasion
asked car-driver to set him down
at a certain adrcss in Dublin, which
was only around an adjacent corner,
and when Pat had brought him to
the spot, the gentleman complained
of it as an imposition. You might
have pointed out the place to
me- Pointed it out exclaim-
ed Pat. is it a finger-post you'd
make out of me? Shure, then, you
might have paid me for my pointing,
and left me where you found me-
TO return, however, to our travel
er. He is driven to a hotel, and de-
spite the prediction of the rival car
driver, he retains his power of masti-
cation, and readily calls for break
fast. Here another national charact-
eristic comes out in the person of
the waiter. He does not move
about like other walters, formal and
smooth as his own napkin, absorbed
in the point of what you'll take next,
and only muttering the yes, SIR or
mo, SIR of a London place of enter
tainment. He gives you politics
with the hot water, and tiattery with
the buttered rolls.
you look wonderful well, sir, after
the say-sickness. Some gentlemen
look as yellow as lemons, and may
be, twice as sour. Do you like green
or black tay, sir? They say the tay
will rise, sir, since the French went
to war with Morocco. Great meet
ing to-day in Dublin, sir. l suppose
you are going to attend it; perhaps
you name to speak, SIR NO, indeed
l don't 'Oh, Pm sorry for that
you've such a sparkling face, sir
Have you any soda-water?' We have
SIR lis it good?' 'Pon my honor |
don't know, sir-I never drink it
MYSELF
The wonderful composure of some
of those persons, though sometimes
very irritating, is certainly very
laughable. l once learned what was
the judicious rule of Galway wait
er for taking liberties. | had left
my notebook on the breakfast while
went for some letters that were in
my bedroom, and on my return l