The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-07-30
Facts and Fances.

The old-fashioned woman's crusade
"A boys head and fine-toothed comb.
It requires sixty love letters to in
| fuence breach of promise suit jury IN
| Iowa.
A Lebanon (Ky.) gent, in ardently
greeting iopg-parted wife, broke one
of her ribs.
An old business sign in Philadelphia
many years ago read, Nllllam ohot
and Jonathan Fell" -T
Dandelion salad is now one OF the
dainty dishes served daily in some OF
the French restaurants.
An old cynic says:-" With many
women going to church It'll little better
than looking into bonnet shop" ..
James T. Fields says that whenever
he hears of "pretty good scholar"
he is reminded of pretty good egg!
Ice is bought in Maine for 81. 30
ton, and sold in New York for one cent
q pound-scarcely 1,4O0 per cent. profit.
A sick man covered with mustard
plasters said, II 1 were to eat loaf OF
bread I should be walking sandwich"
The Japanese Government has issued
notification that, after the lst OF Au-
gust next, the expectation OF rice and
wheat will be prohibited.
I" Yes, SIR" said a Michigan Fourth
of July orator, "Putnam went right
into the VOLTS den, dragged her out,
and the independence of America was
secured" d
A correspondent Of the Germantown
Teleordph is convinced that the Light
| n H,o1,i,,o
all other in the production of eggs and
market fowls.
eyes, George Washington was purity
great and high" said Missouri steam
| boat captain, "but then, stranger, he
never owned steamboat which could
hitch past the White Queen"
There are wicked people who are
| glad that there are but two men in the
country who can repair hand-organs.
and these two live in New York, where
there is possibility of their both meet
ing mad dogs.
The SATURDAY. ReUieoO gives the pleas
ing assurance that there are changes
beyond the power of man to arrest,
and, long before our planet has drop
ped into the sun, it will have become
an unsuitable abode for civilized be-
ings."
Davenport newspaper speaks of q
doctor in that city "looking with a
deep meaning smile upon large lot of
green cucumbers in the market" On
his way home he was observed to
whisper confdentially to several under
takers.
A truly happy day.-"Well, Leonora,
what have you and Harold been doing
at Aunt Mabel's to-dsy?" Had din
ner." "And what did you do after
dinner?" "Had tea" "But what did
you do between dinner and tea ?"
"Had some cake"
A young fellow in a Western town
was fined $40 for kissing girl against
her will, and the following day the
damsel sent him the amount of the fine,
with note saying that the next time
he kissed her he must be less rough
about it, and be careful to do it when
her father was not about.
Mrs. j. r. Carson, of Toledo, O., en-
Joys the distinction of the first lady
who has ever occupied the position of
superintendent of railroad. Mrs.
Carson is superintendent Of the Toledo,
Wabash and Western Railroad, with
which she has been connected in varl-
GUS capacities almost from its infancy.
Spurgeon says he never had the
ability to manage a small church. They
are like those canoes on the Thames,
YOU must not sit this way or the other,
or do this thing or that thing, lest you
should be upset. His church is like
big steamboat, and he can walk here
| or tb ora Uithout uDSettlup 1T.
An Irish glazier was putting pane
of glass into window, when groom
who was standing by began joking him,
telling him to mind and put in plenty
of putty. The Irishman bore the banter
for some time, but at last silenced his
tormentor with" Arrah, now, be OIL
wild ye, or I'll put pain In your head
without any putty"
At fire in the Jewish quarter OF
Stamboul, last month, when over 5O0
houses were burned, the Sultan had
two Pachas thrown into prison and their
estates confiscated, because they didn't
seem concerned about it. The net pro-
ceeds. however, were not turned over
to the homeless faithful, but to favor
ite Sultana all the sufferers got was an
order not to beg. ....
1t is told of man poorly dressed,
that he went to church seeking an OPP
portunity to worship. The usher did
not notice him, but seated several well
dressed persons who presented them
selves, when finally the man addressed
the usher, saying, "Can You tell me
whose church this is ?" "Yes, this is
Christ's church" "Is he in ?" was the
next question, after which seat was
not SO hard to find.