The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1874-06-13
FLIRrs AND FILTRATION.

FLIRTS AND FLIRTATION.
But am afraid she is n great flirt. >
" Yes but not half as bad as he Is. :"
These two remarks I could not help
overhearing the other day in the "row,
and very strong desire came over me
to politely accost the authors-two
nice-looking, gentlemanly persons-and
ask them if they would kindly favor
me with definition of the word "hirt.
L do not believe that there is any word
in the English language which has
less distinct meaning and conveys such
different impressions to INHERENT
minds. You sit next to a lively and
amusing young lady at dinner, and
find that her conversational powers, If
not vastly intellectual, are at all events
quick, and as there is a considerable
freshness and some amount of origin
ality in her remarks, vou talk the whole
of dinner time, and are not unwilling
TO renew the conversation when You
meet in the drawing-room afterwards.
After vOJr fair young friend, 10 whom
perhaps you are principally indebted
for having spent a very pleasant even.
ing, has been carried home by her
mamma, You casually remark to your
hostess, How very agreeable Miss
Dash is. Whereupon madam rejOins,
"Oh yes, she Is very vivaciOus, but |
fear she is a sad hirt." " Anything but
SAD. you said to yourself "but how,
fiisf In what way does that indefin-
able word apply to the charming Miss
Dash ?" You recollect that at a ball two
or three nights ago you were introduced
to Miss Blank, and your friend who IN
troduced you warned you previously
= Il. E~-1 -
know" Well, you find that Miss Blank
had n way Of leaning very heavily on
your arm, looking mp dreamily into
your eyes before she answered the most
commonplace remark, and holding your
Is7-sse5 or stseslif.i yslI rftss
Of her tolls through the Iancers, You
discovered that she had a habit OF
greeting You with a smile and a shake
of the hand whenever you met her IN
the last figure of that may dance.
Her conversational powers you soon be-
come aware, were limited. She ap-
peared to think it 10 be her meek duty
to hang upon your words with a fasci-
mating gaze--if l may use such an ex-
pression-and to look as If she invested
every trihing remark you made with a
sublime dignity far beyond the occasion.
True. she never seemed in a hurry to
be taken to her chGperOne, and pos
sessed wonderful faculties for imbibing
tea and lounging in a quiet corner till
her next partner discovered her, and If
she was not engaged for the next dance
she evidently expected you to " sit it
ont " with her. But her behavior has
not assisted you towards the informa-
tiOn You thirst for as to the meaning of
the term " hirt, for, as far as You can
divine her character, prOverbially gal
liant as YOU are, YOU cannot resist the
impression that in Miss Blanks case
hirt is only another word for bore,
and firt is certainly the prettier ex-
prerssion of the two. On another Occa-
sion-say at a picnic or in grand stand
you find yourself next to Mrs. Three
stars, who is apparently eight and
twenty, or thereabouts, and WHO has, to
your knowledge, four or five charming
children (suppOsiug, of course, that
you allow that child en- ever can be
charming), and whose lively rattle and
raceful manners compel you to con-
fess as you dress for dinner that you
have really passed a much more pleas
ant day than yOu had anticipated. In
the course OF dinner, while you are
silently wishing that Mrs. TLreestars
inane beauty or dull old dowager to
whom the exigencies Of /" going down
TO dinner" have allotted you, you hear
the name of the lady you are thinking
of mentioned. Somebody-some kind
soul who never would say an unkind
word, except from a sheer sense of
duty-iustantly remarks: Oh, yes
she is very nice, but I am afraid she is
dreadful firt. Again that incompre-
hensible word. 1t seem to be like the
rain which falls upon the just and the
unjust. The notion of Mrs. Threestars
and Miss Blank being joined in the
same category. What can it all mean ?
You turn to the dowaRer by your side
and say :
"Do you know Mrs. Threestars, Mrs,
Proper p
Mre. Proper Canning herselO-"I
am acquainted with her, yes"
YOU have met her. She seems
to me to be very entertaining.
Mrs. Propper-"I believe she is q
great favorite with gentlemen"
You Not with ladies I"
Mrs. Proper" Well, you see, there
are certain men whom you call dispar-
agingly ladies' men and so I suppose
there are ladies who are-who are
You-(savagely determining not to
help her out)-''Who are what ?''
Mrs. Proper" Don't you under
stand? Well-more at home in mems
society than in women's."
You-"Ah And is that the meaning
| of the word fiirt which l heard just
now applied to our friend Mrs. Three
stars ?"
Mrs. Proper Perhaps it is"
You" Then we men ought to fee
deeply indebted to hirts, a4d highly
honored by their preference. I sincere
ly hope thai you are fiirt, Mrs. Prop
per-"
You say this with an innocent looB
and genial laugh, and Mrs. Proper,
so far from regarding you as an impru
dent young man, is evidently much
pleased with you begins to ia to you
volubly, having hitherto somewhat dis
regarded you; and you are quite salts
| fed that as far as you understand the
word, Mrs. Proper is quite as worthy
the name of hirt as Mrs. Threestars ol
Miss Black herself So you 90 on, en-
deavoring by an exhaustive process o.
experimental inquiries to find out the
! Iiferentia of the species of flrt.
| 1t may be said that the only persol
| who has ever succeeded In accurately
| describing firt is Mr.. Tennyson in hi
Seem. Lady Clara We're de were.
| Bnt then she was firt of truly por
tentous type; her pastime was put "a
end to by the coarse suicide of an ex
| cellent youth, and she laid herself opel