The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-05-09
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


The publication of the Wcnona Iadcr was
laycd a day or two last week because, as that
per confesses, "the editor had little dliicuI
with the devil" Did the old "sarpent" get III
you boots, Cadet
Poets are getting unreasonably particuI'
One of them has the cheek TO complain oecau
the Chicago Tribune misplaced part OF his poe
and got it under the head of Pork Market"
Another, in the same paper, wrote OF "hea
full of sweet warnings" and the composite
made it "yearlings" This was lady poet, al
in her complaint she expresses "yearnhg
tumble among that compositors hair'
But worst of all is the case of the Milwaukt
.d;,or who has been sued for libel for wrtin
that Mr.. Harrison is q well known "horse-breal
er," which is really his occupation; but the heh'
ish compostor made it "house-breaker'"
A missing man was lately advertised for a
having a Roman nose. He won't be found sue!
i nose will never turn up.
4 cremation eptaph
Sarah Amanda was her name,
She lived and died without SANDER
Had she survived the funeral flame
She would have been sal Aman a.
An old fogy in Philadelphia objects to paying a
gas bill Of s1S, for the frivolous reason that there
are no burners in his house.
The Chicago teacher who asked to have his
salary "razed was promptly accommodated.
The editor Of the Faitbnrt Nt-tS had his hair
pulled last week by d miliiner of that place for
a somewhat awkward blunder Of the types in his
Wa, hat thn "frnn
are of the latest style and warranted irresistible,
but the bungling compositor set it up that the
Iadys "qirls were of the latest STYLE &c. The
editor won't need a comb Tor month.
Or. Brown-Sequard has been measuring the
amount OF nerve force in frog, and finds that
"a frog can lift weight Of twenty grammes to
4 point which was about line and quarter or
900 or 700 times in an hour and quarter" This
is important. Probably not one frog in Il hun
dred is aware that he can lift twenty grammcs to
point-and would not be any happier if it was.
Monday was not good day for Philadelphia
L<7qer obituaries. This is the only one it had:
We had a little Thomas Gnce,
He was our only pride;
We loved him, all perhaps too well,
For soon he slept and died.
He sleeps within the cold, cold ground,
The dark blue sky above lin.
He was too fair and frail for earth,
None knew him but to love him.
Physicians tell us that the habit of running up
ttairs is apt to produce heart disease. To avoid
this, therefore, you should never go up stains in
The ordinary way. Lie down on your stomach
and crawl up feet first.
The Union Spy was exhibited down at Clinton
lately, and the local editor goes into raputures
over it, Speaking Of one Of the tableaux he be-
comes apparently demented, and raves thus wise
A billowy ocean Of foamng skirts, which, in
their virgin and uncontamina,ed purity, rolled
and surgcd and pulled in the gaslit air"
4 school teacher IN De Witt county introduced
new method Of punishment. When one Of the
girls missed word the lad who spelt it had to
kjsa her. The Clinton Public says it was q total
failure for the girls. They soon forgot all they
ever knew about spelling, though the boys i'm
proved wonderfully
This Providence boys composition on games
There are various kinds Of Games. The most
useful game Is playing ball, because 1t promotes
activity among young persons. There is differ
enCe between games and game. had game
leg when fell into ditch.
4 girl in Oshkosh has attended her last sewing
society. Her father caught her at one and was
needle that he then and there resolved never to
pay another dressmaker's bill.
burglar WHO was found under Il mans bed in
Philadelphia excused himself on the ground
that he was looking for his dog
The average Burlington Iowa, saloon keeper
must be bad indeed. A learned divine in that
city recently addressed one Of them as follows
Wrctched man! If the banks Of that river were
bank high with the suds Of salvation, and June
rise Of picty coming down from the mountains,
there wouldn't be enough TO wash your feet
Chinese girl Is now undergoing trial at Pc.
kin, charged with being the captain Of pratt
cal craft recently blown up in one OF the CHI
nesc rivers, But she couldn't help it, she hadno
husband and had to blow up something.
The Worth British Reciep says, ave have seen
plenty of poets who can paint clouds and hills
aud waters, but few that can write so well Of
woman as this
When | asked her, "Wilt thou kiss mesn
Nought she said but hung her cheek 50,
rs il she were thinking, thinking
Whether she might do Y or no.
Thea her fair, Kind face upturning,
One sweet touch here did win,
As il she were thinking, thinking
Such small favOrs are no sin.
She therein lost no composuTc,
Nor ashamed did she seem;
Truly chaste may grant such favOrs,
Therein losing no esteem.
That may do for the ideal OF n mawkish sent
mcntslist, but when IL COMES 10 painting re
lie, the following is immeasurably superior: