Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-10-23

MR.. O'HOOLAHAN'S MISTAKE.
Married whom DruAk, and Repsntina
whom Sober.
From the Virginia, New, Enterprise.
| An amusing scene occurred in JUS
tice Young's court room an evening
or two since. Two sons of the could
sod," full Of "chain lightning" and
law, rushed in, and advancing to the
Justices little law pulpit at the rear
Of the court room, both began talking
at once. ass .fs.l
"One at time, if you please" said
the Judge. d.
"Judge-yer honor-will l sphake
thin?" said one of them.
"Silence!" roarcd his companion.
81 am here! Let me talk. Phwat
do you know about law?"
"Keep still yourself, sir" said the
Judge, "and let him say what he
wants."
"Well, I want me name aft the pa
per. That's phwat l want" said the
man.
"Off what paper?" asked the judge.
"Well, aft the paper; .ye ought to
know phwat paper; shure, ye married
me, they say" bi. aiar
"To whom?" asked the judge.
7 "Some female, sir, and don't want
her, sir! 1t don't go! and want me
name aft the paper"
ssSilence!'' roared the friend, bring
ing his fist down upon the little pull
pit, just under the judges nose, with
a tremendous thwack. "Silence! l
sm here. Phwat do you know about
law? Sure, yer honor, it was Tim
Met cCloskey's wife that he married.
his wildly, name. Ye married thin,
yer honor"
"And l was dhrunk at the time,
sir; yis, sir, an l was not free
agent, an don't know thing about
it, sir-devil roast me, sir, | want
me name aft the paper! I repudiate,
sir"
"Silence! Let me sphake. Phwat
do you know about law?" bringing
his fist down on the judges desk.
"But I was dhrunk; was not at
the time Il free agent"
"Silence! l am here to sphakc! 1t
does not depind upon that at all. 1t
depinds-an' there's the whole pint,
both i'll law and equity-it depinds
whether was the woman Il sole thrader
or not at the time the marriage was
solemnated. That is the pint, both
in law and equity"
'sBut l was dhrunk at the time.
Divil roast me if l knowed I was
gettin' married. l was not free
agent. l want the Judge to take me
name aft the paper. 1t don't 60"
The judge tried to explain to the
man that, drunk or sober, he was
married to the woman fast enough,
and if he wanted divorce, he must
90 to another court.
'sDivil roast me-" cried the man,
eff 90 to another court. Ye mar
ried me, and ye can unmarry me.
Take me name aft the paper"
"Silencew cried the friend, bring
ing his fist down in close proximity
to the judges nose. "Phwat do you
know about law? l admit, judge,
that he must 60 to higher court;
that is (down' comes the fist ii the
woman can prove (whack) that she
was ut the time the marriage was
solemnated (whack) regularly or
dained sole thradcr (whack). On
this pint it dcpinds, both in law ard
equity"
81 have had enough of this" cried
the Judge; 81 cannot divorce YOU
| You are married, and married you
must remain for all l can dol"
aye won't take me name aft the
paper, thin?"
"It won't mend the matter" said
the s%s judge; gea,. .,.o :. ,,f,n
'No, l WON'T" fairly yelled the
judge.
''Silcnce!" cried the partner, bring
/ ing down his fist, and raising cloud
of dust under the judges nose. ''l'
depina.s OH whether, at the time, the
woman was regular SOLE"
'sGct out of here" cried the Judge
"I've had enough of this" at the
same time rising.
eye won't take it aft? Very well,
thin, I'll go divorce myself. Divi
roast me, I'll fire the thatch
Pill"
Here he glanced toward the front
door, his under jaw dropped, he
ceased speaking, and in a halfstoop
ing posture he went out OF the bacl
door Of the Office like shot.
The valiant friend and legal advis
cr also glanced toward the door
when he too doubled up and scooted
in the footsteps 6f his illustriou'
principal.
A look at the door showed it d irk
ened by a woman about six feet il
height, and so broad as to fill it al
most from side to side.
The judge took a look at thl.
mountain Of flesh, doubled up, and
was about to take the back track, bu
thought better of it and took refuge
behind his little law pulpit.
The mountain advanced, gave ut
terance in a sort of internal rumble
and then, amid fire, smoke and burn
.nrr 1o,,, hn1<ho1 cut.
sDid or did l not see Nichae
O'Hoolahan sneak out of your bacl
dOor?"
81 believe O'Hoolahan is the name
of one of the gentlemen who jus
went out" said the judge.
Advancing upon the P: lpit-be
hind which the judge settled lower
and lower-the mountain belched
"You be-e-lsve! You know it was
Michael O'Hoolahan! Now, what il
all this connivin' in here about? An