Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1874-10-22
Sparks and splfnters.

GNU
A Hartford young woman exclaim-
ed the other day. F'I have excur ted
three times this summer"
No wonder we have so manv rasid
financial revolutions, when every
greenback bears the. name of gener-
al Spinner,
When young fellew begins to talk
CT ''the last little delicate aquiline
curve in a sensitive nose" of his girl,
he's a goner.
81 wouldn't have left, but the people
kinder egged me on" said man who
was asked why he quit his Kansas
home in hurry.
Nevada is proud of a woman resi-
dent who, when the stealthy savage
approached her, justpulled off her hair
and gave it to him.
There never was a thoroughly happy
marriage where the husband was mas
ter and the wife his servant. And
"wisey wersey."
1t occurred to a scholar while wri-
ting composition to remark that ''an
OK does not taste as good as an oys-
ter, but it can run faster"
Haven't right to be saucy if
lease ?" asked a young lady of an old
bachelor. Eyes, if you please, but
not if you displease,' was the answer.
An unsophisticatsd person once de-
clined plate of maccaroni soup, with
the remark that they Couldn't palm
off any billed pipe stems on him!''
An old farmer on being informed
the other day that one of his neigh
bors owed him a grudge, growled out.
''No matter, he never pays anything"
Il am, indeed, very much afraid of
lightning" said pretty lady. ''And
well you may be-" said a despairing
lover, "when your heart is made of
steel"
This brief chronicle was written by
the editor of the Philadelphia Ledger:
"Lowell- Two little boys
and pistol. Now, only one little
boy and pistol"
A Mississippi pilot saw the comet,
the other night, and Immediately cried
GIVE got 'em; snakes I've had before,
but the stars have got tails on 'em
I'm dead man."
Patrick said the priest, chow
much hay did you steal % "Well may
as well confess to your reverence fol
the whole stack, for 1 am going after
the balance tonight
| What do they talk about2 In Maine
and Alabama, caterpillars; in Illinois,
chinch bugs; in Minnesota, grasshop
pers; in Kentucky, potato bugs; sin
New Jersey mosquitoes.
s.Pat," said a Joker, ''why don't you
get your cars cropped The are much
too long for a man" 'sAnd yours .
replied Pat, fought to be heightened
they are too short for an ass.''
A little boy having broken his rock
ing horse the day it was purchased,
his mamma began to scold, when he
silenced her by inquiring, ssWhat's the
good of horse till it's broke?"
"Take a wing ?' gushed a pompous
upstart, extending his bent arm to a
sensible young lady, at the close Of an
evening meeting. "Not eff a gander.'
she quietly replied, and walked home
: with her mother.
eyes, Job suffered soms," said ar
Illinois deacon, "but he never knew
what it was to have his team run away
and kill his wife right in the busy sea
; son, when hired girls want three dol
lars per week"
$ China has streets paved with granite
blocks laid over three hundred years
e ago, as good as new. The contrac
: tors are dead.
A very fat English lady beasted tina
8 she brought her husband twenty thous
S and pounds. "Well you look itr' re
r piled her friend.
q The ladies have worn all sorts o
= flowers and fruits in their hats, anC
= now they have turn-up on the side
Commercial Bulletin.
A serious Clock Out"-Twe a. m.
coming home from party no latch
key; no knocker; bell only rings dow
I stairs and servant heavy sleeper il
l the attic.