The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-06-26

y
tation with the soul-;ess usurper. Trading
for forty-rod whisky to enable you to get
drunk and happy and tsmahawk your
families, has played the everlasting mis-
chief with the picturesque pomp Of your
dress, and here you are, in the broad
light Of the nineteenth century, gotten up
like the rag. tag and bobtai of the epurlieus
of New York For shame! Remember
your ancestorsi Recall their mighty
deeds Remember Uncas and Red
Jacket = and Hole-in-the.Day - and
Horace Greeley! Emulate their achieve
mcnts Unfurl yourselves under my
banner, noble savages, illustrious gutter
snipes--'
Down wild him I"
"Scoop the blagyard!"
Hang him!"
Dhrowned him Z"
1t was the quickest operation that ever
was. simply saw sudden flash in the
air of clubs. brick-bats, bread-baskets,
and moccasins, single fash, and they
all appeared to hit me at once, and two
Of them in the same place. In the next
instant the entire tribe was upon me.
They tore all the clothes of me, they
broke my arms and legs, they gave me
thump that dented the top of my head
till it would hold coffee like saucer
and to crown their disgracerul proceed
iugs and add insult to injury, they
threw me over the Horseshoe Fall, and
! got wet.
About ninety-nine or a hundred feet
from the top, the remains Of my vest al.
most drowned before ! could get loose
! finally fell, and brought up in world
Of white foam at the foot Of the fall
whose celled and bubbly masses lowered
up several inches above my head. OF
course | got into the eddy. sailed
round and round in it forty times.
chasing a chip. and gaining on it, each
round trip a half mile. reaching for
the same bush on the bank forty-four
times, and just exactly missing it by a
hairs breadth every time. At last
man walked down and sat down close to
that bush, and put pipe in his molth,
and lit match, and followed me with
one eye and kept the other on the match
while he sheltered it in his hands from
the wind. Presently n puff of wind
blew it out. The next time swept
round he said a:
Got a match"
Yes. in my other vest Help me
out, please"
No, for joe"
When came around again said {:
Excuse the seemingly impertineut
curiosity of drowning man. but will
you explain this singular conduct of
yours"
with pleasure. | am the coroner.
Don't hurry on my account can wait
for you. But wish had match"
said, Take my place, and I'll 60
and get you one"
He declined. Th, lack of confidence
on his part created coolness between
Us, and from that time forward | avoided
him. 1t was my idea, in case anything
happened to me, to 50 time the occur
teuce as TO throw my custom into the
hands of the opposition coroner over on
the American side At last policeman
came along and arrested me for disturb
ing the peace by yelling at the people on
the shore for help. The judge fired me
but ! had the advantage of him. My
money was with my pantaloons, and my
pantaloons were with the Indians.
Thus escaped. am now lying in
very critical condition. At least | am
lying any way-crtical or not critical.
am hurt all over, but ! can not tell
the full extent yet, because the doctor is
not done taking the inventory. lie will
make out my manifest this evening.
However, thus far, he thinks six Of my
wounds are fatal. don't mind the
others.
Upon regaining my right mini, |
said
1t is an awful savage tribe of Indians
that do the bcld-work and mpccasins for
Niagara Falls, doctor. Where are they
from ?"
shall not I've able to finish my
regards about Niagara Falls until ] get