Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-12-24

An Om8n0 girl 0rOke lef O4ck the
other day while making her beds An
awful warning. -s...-t
A woman in St. Croix used her hus-
band. money to hire five lawyers and
get divorce.
It's easier foxs needle 70 go through
the eye Of camel then for, . woman to
say, sits of no consequence" when you
kick hole in her new silk dress
The tyran: man has treated contempt
uously the woman suffrage proposition
in Michigan, and Susan. swears that II
any voter ever lets her sit in his lap
again she'll pinch him, so help her gra.
cious!
Grace Greenwood doesn't believe in
liquor as beverage, but she says there
is something pleasant in drinking Just
enough wine to make one feel at peace
with all the world
A Vermont lady tainted away at par
ty, and, when young man cried out for
some one to saw her corsetstrings in two
she arose, drew pair Of shears, and said
she'd like to sec 'em saw.
The aged California husband, smart
ing under the infdelities of his youthful
wife, has discovered the true legal rem
edY It isn't divorce; it's an Injunction
restraining her from "any more nonsense
of that kind"
A contemporary asks: "Ought we not
to say, Miss Earth rather than Mother
Earth, since she is of uncertain age: Tho
Oldest maid has not been more successful
in concealing the date of her birth than
this planet Of ours.
The Worchester Press says six and Q
half feet of bride stood before the altar.
in Parish church the other day, and
promised to love, cherish, and obey
three feet and quarter Of bridegroom; {;
and that's the long and short of it.
Ellen Larabee, an Illinois farmers
daughter, just missed being a heroine
Seeing her fathers barn on fire, she got
pail of water, ran toward the blaze, and
tainted away. The barn was destroyed
and her father rating her intentions by
The low standard of her failure, warmed
her shoulders with strap.
We were amused at hearing the story
of an old lady whose only exclamation
On hearing Of the execution ola man
who had lived once in the neighborhood
was, "Well, know'd he'd come to the
gallows at last, for the knot of his hand.
kerchief was always slipping around TN:
der his left ear"
A Louisville paper did not seriously
object to the proposed elopement Of his
daughter with dry goods clerk. Hap.
pening to get wind Of the plan, he mere
ly lay in wait for Augustus, and sent
him away with the impression that re-
markably healthy young mule had play
ed tattoo with its heels under his coat
tail.
A young lady, known as a regular
chatter box, having monopolized the
conversation for the first half hour at tho
table, asked Quaker present how he
liked tongue, remarking at the same time
that She prepared it in several different
tempting ways: to which he meekly re-
Piled: I'm repose" A slight lull in
conversation followed.
There is said to be negro boy living
in Newport, Va, who will drink keror
sene oil by the quantity whenever he can
get it. He Graves it to such an extent
that the family are compelled to hide not
only the can which contains it, but even
the lamps. He has been known to drink
half pint at time. The effects of it 10
similar TO poor whiskey; it produces q
wild intoxication. When under the in
fluencc of it, he will light matches an
hold them within his mouth, talk idoti.
+ acally, mimic men and beasts, and act
like frantic baboon generally.