Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-12
PHUNNYGKAMS.

-In.tents excitement--Panic n 4 cir
Gus
Did the man who plowed the sea, and
afterward planted his foot upon native
soil, ever harvest his cropsP
You do not need to black your boots
in Pittsburgh. You hang them out of the
window at night and they are black
enough in the morning.
"A correspondent of paper having
described the Ohio rs "a sickly stream
the editor appended the remark: That's
so--it is confined to its bed"
Its rather remarkable that, while
several thousand feet are required to
make one rood, a single foot, properly
applied, is often sufficient to make one
civil.
We are told that 800 years ago ladies
combed their hair just as they do today.
This won't do in civilized land and
among observing people Three hundred
years ago ladies used to comb their hair
on their heads--now they hang is over the
back of chair to comb it.
When writing for information it is
customary to inclose a stamp for reply.
The stamp should be stuck to the letter
by first mostening its entire face and
then subjecting ii to letter-press If
press is not handy, heavy weight in
position one night will do.-Danbury
Nelos.
"A son of Ethiopia entered Station 3,
at Boston, a short time ago, to complain
Of a colored brother who had broken a
chair into splinters over his head. Upon
an insinuation regarding the absence of
marks on his Uranium, he Indignantly an
swered, "No! 'e didn't make no marks,
but e smashed de char all ter pieces and
de char b'longed ter me-"
"A female at confession acknowledged
that she used rouge. For what pur-
poser" asked the father. "To make me
appear captivating" was the answer.
"But does it make you more beautiful 7"
AT least, holy father, think it does"
The priest took the penitent out OF the
confessional into the light, and, looking
in her face, observed: Madame, you may
paint without oilense, for you are still
very ugly"
There is so little original in the
world that people part reluctantly with
the conviction that some cherished apho-
rism they have long attributed to a favor
tie author is the property of some other
one less loved and noted. Tho last exhi-
bition of this unrelenting fatality is the
charge that the late Horace Greeley pla-
giarized his memorable advice, $50
Vest 1t is pointed out that the original
of the remark was when Ruth said,
Where thou go west ! will GO"
Mr. Routledge, of Elyria, N. Y, TOOK
unto himself wife without previously
consulting her mother. When the old
lady saw the little joke she whaled her
daughter The tender bride was SO in
dignant at her new husband for not taking
hand in the dispute that she put in
bin for divorce on the plea OF desertlon.
The Judge said he had never heard that a
mans refusal to lick his mothcrin-law
was ground for divorce, and he refused
the application, ordering the husband to
pay the fees Of court.
The Golden Eras "Corry s. Pond
ent" complains of a grievance in the
shape OF tangled alarm clock,
which rudely interieres with the current
| Of his courtship by clamorous an
nouncement of the hour of ten p. III. The
prosecuted lover says: 1.-THE old duiier,
whose daughter we are just now counting,
has got new dodge to make US go home.
| He has rugged up one of the patent back
action leave-hcre alarm clocks on his
mantelpiece, and when the bewitching
| hour OF ten arrives the old clock gets up
and walks round the room, and the
| hand points to the door! After ten the
pendulum hits pretty hard; the old dufier
| says if somebody don't take the hint, one
Of these fine moonlight nights somebody
will take somebody else by the scuh Of
| the neck, and the chances are good Tor
! frst-class funerall
THE Wells (Minn.) Atlas says strange
! circumstance in connection with the new
artesian well in that village, from which