The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

HAPPINESS can be made quite as well Oh
cheap materials as of dear ones.
WHEN six young ladies sit down to ak
about a new dreSS-pattern. small boy
with tin horn is a refuge for the weary.
A woMAN's heart is the only true place
for mans likeness. An instant gives the
impression, and an age OF sorrow anu
change cannot efface II.
A LADY barber has been driven out OF
Dubuque by the married ladies oil thaI
place. The latter thought she scraped ac-
quaintance too easily.
A PHILApEI.PHIA girl called young
man thief, and when requested Dy the
mother of the accused TO prove the charge,
said he had stolen several kisses from her-
A POLITICIAN wishing to compliment
velI-to-tlo farmer said: /" YOu must have
begun life early to accumulate such an es-
tate as this?' "Yes," replied the farmer'
% began life when mere baby.
A ScorcH,fNN went to lawyer once
for advice, and detailed the circumstances
of the case. "Have you told me the tacts
precisely as they oceurred?,' asked the
lawyer. "Oh, aye, sir!'' replied he.
Thought it best to tell you the plain truth.
Ye can put the lies into it yourself"
A CRITIC thus alludes to the merits of q
rising Young artist: He possesses some
merit as an artist, but it is hard TO say
whether it lies in landscape or marine
painting: YOU never can tell his cows frOmN
his ships, except when they have their
tails exalted, when the absence of spars
betravs their character. Even then they
may be mistaken for schoOners scuddlng
under bare poles"
A SMALL boy approached the great show
man Barnum at Montpelier, the other day.
and asked him what he would give IOr
cherry-colOred cat. Ten dollars" replied
Barnum, :" if it is really cherry-cOlOred.
Soon the boy returned to Barnums Hotel
and unlOaded black eat at Barnum's feet.
The Snowman saw the point, and paid the
yOungster $40, with the remark, boy,
you have stole my trade"
ONE of the dealers on Chatham street,
New York, had for sale what he called
army brOgans and cavalry boots. An eX-
soldier purchased pair of the latter one
rainy day, but returned to the store within
a few minutes, complaining that the soles
were of pastebOard and had already soaked
to a pulp. "Vot you was done nit dem
boots ?n asked the dealer. "Why, | walked
two or three blocks" walk You walk IN
dem boots Wy, dem was cavalry boots =
Ara Presbyterian church, in Saratoga,
sermon was recently delivered on tne
Christians regatta toward the heavenly
goal. He was described as feathering his
oar with precision, turning the stakeboat
of life with all the resolution of faith, COM
ing down the desperate course OF the
homestIetch with vigor, fixing his eye on
the heavenly Referee and taking good care
not to initiate the disciple Judas and break
his scull.-BoSton Post.
THE farmer does not lack for society, nor
can his occupation be considered mono
tonOus. At daylight he gets up and eX-
amines the holes round his cOrn-hills for
cut-worms; then he smashes eoddling-
moth larvae with a hOe-handle until break
fast. The forenoon is devoted to watering
the pOtato-bugs with a solution of Paris
green, and after dinner all hands turn out
to pour boiling water on the chinch-bugS
i'm the corn and wheat fields. In the even
inc a favorite occupation is sInudging
peach trees to discourage the curcullO, and,
after brief season of family devotion %
the shrine of the night-flying cOleOptera,
all the folks retire and sleep sOundly nl
Aurora reddens the east, and the grass
hoppers tinkle against the pane and sum-
mon them to the labOrs of ANOTHER day.
And vet there are some people who think
a farmers life is without its attractions and
pleasures Louis Globe.