The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-05-21

its feathers; the man who is fond of
quoting texts on every possible occasion,
and If there are women present, likes
TO come out with those aimed
by st. Paul against the gentler sex the
man who visits Sunday-schoOls and cate
chises the children, patronizes revivals,
and missions to Turks Cinnamon, and
Australian, African, and Polynesian
4" missing links" and thinks that the Jews
are certainly beginning to go back to Je-
rusalem; the man who c0nsigns French |
biologists and Unitarians to the very
hottest ovens in a certain individuals |
private kitchen, and who is firmly con-
WINGED that science and atheism are syn
onymOus terms, and that either Darwin,
Colenso, or Herbert Spencer is Antichrist,
he isn't quite certain which; the man
who eschews balls, theatres, and operas,
every species of social reunion that is not
curate's teafight, every species of music
of art which is not representative of what
remember once, as a child, saying my
drawings were intended to depict, when
reproved for giving the rein to my artistic
fancy on a Sunday" Good people going
to church," or something in the same
style; the man who preserves grave,
immoveable countenance when everybody
else is laughing at some particularly good
joke; who watches as carefully for a
lapsus lngue as Mrs. Shoddy watches for
a bow from the Princess Blueblood, and
pounces down on the helpless offender
with the bowie-knife of morality and the
tomahawk of orthodoxy; the man, who,
if he was to be judged by the number of
times he takes the name of charity in vain,
only requires the five hundred small in
fants clustering around him to sit for
portrait of Charity herself, yet says, as
plainly as looks and actions can say, to
the whole world in general, AGO to the
left hand all We goatsp and reserves the
right hand locality exclusively for him
self
These sort of men like to marry---to
have some one to bully and air their
moral sentiments on; and the unfortunate
part of the affair is, that goodness is
about the most catching thing there is.
In three months, instead of being what
you area dear good girl, without any
nonsense about yOu--you would be an
exceedingly goody, officiOus, maxim-mon-
gering social missionary and nuisance.
Happily, the type does not thrive on the
Continent, but London is very hotbed
of it. In fact, it is a growth indigenous
to British soil, and only to be found as an
exotic in other climes. Don't marry
sentimental man---the man that wears his
hair long, has weak eyes, and fiabby
cheeks, like under-boiled suet dumplings.
His coats are usually too long for him,
l. "a, t~n loo IL, - ii lar tor
high in the neck, looking as if they were
trying to fly away with his head. He
likes Mrs. Hemans, knows Tennyson's
"Maude" by heart, raves about Shelley,
Lamartine, and Owen Meredith, and is
fond of feminine poetry and German
novels generally. He makes you come
out on the balcony, and catch your death
of cold, to look at the melancholy moon
and the plying stars, and spouts Romeo
and Juliet" and Keats code to a
Nightingale" to you. He rhapsodies
about leaves, flowers, caterpillars, clouds,
larks, nightingales, babbling brooks, rural
life, and the charms of solitude, till you
register VOW never to open book of
poetry or set your foot in the country
again in your life. He writes fearful
sonnets and lyrics, which he reads out to
you when you are of your gaurd, and
which he has printed for private circu-
lation among his friends" He loves to
talk bad Italian, tells you that Italy is the
home of his soul, and walls forth An
che Ia morte" 4" Lascia chic pianga" at a
ritardando pace which would prevent
their own composers recognizing them,
not to mention that he invariably sings
them fiat. Among English songs he pat
ronizes clears, Idle Tears" and 81 am
Sitting on the Stile, Mary" but espec-
tally does he affect German love ditties,
in which there is something about roses
and lilies and swallows in every second
line, and something about weeping bitter
ly in every third line. He sits beside
you ut dinner, and heaves deep signs, and
fixes his eyes with d dreamy, !" far OFF,
look on some imaginary object on the
wall, as if he were going to be photo
graphed, and hints mysteriously at van
ished hopes and buried joys, green grave,
however, do not prevent him from paying
due attention to his turbOt and fillet of
beef, for sentimental men always eat a
good deal, though they drink little, unless
the beverage be lady's champagne oh,
villainOus compound!-or raspberry syrup.
He knows the language of flowers, and
dabbles in phrenology, cabalism, spirit
ualism, and clairvoyance. He belongs to
q society for the protection of animals,
and never having been able to hit mill
stone, or ride anything but a rocking
horse, or hobby, in his life, he thinks
shooting and hunting most barbarous
amusements. He has an intense sympa-
thy for Fenians, Red Indians, refugee
Poles, cx-Communists, and the like. He
thinks that prisons and penitentiaries
ought to be converted into bowers of bliss,
where the poor, erring brother who had
been unfortunate enough to beat out his
wife's brains, or absquatulate with the
contents of his neighbours cash box, shall
be led by gentle persuasion and a system
of progressive rewards into the paths of
virtue again. He believes in Universal
Peace Arbitration Congress, and descants
on the horrors Of war till you think you
will write book about the horrors of
peace, in the shape of poets, philanthrop-
lists, optimists, and other such lunatics
at large You must be brutal to the sem
timental man; there is no other way of
getting rid of him, for if he once fancies
he has found "kindred spirit" in you,
he is like the ivy "H meurt on IL s'dttache;"
and what is worse, he kills you off along
with him, from sheer exhaustion.
Boys.
"Boys is bother" says fve-year-old
Gertrude, and many an older Gertrude
will agree with her. There are many