The Portland daily press., 1874-02-24


was unsancrioned by due process of religion
and law A man may escape the penalty of
the mother-in-law by constituting himself an
Ishmael.
Among savages tie man sees a pretty
squaw. whom he knocks down, and she be-
comes his wife; or, in less extreme rudeness,
he leaves some significant token at her cabin
door, and, If she comes forth and lakes it in,
he enters and leads her torth-sbe Is his wife.
Should the old squaw follow, no doubt Par
THAN arrow would settle the case for her.
Here the man is absolute, the appliances of
life simple and limited. There is no silver to be
looked after; no buttons to be sewed on; no
servants to be scoldcd, none OF these and
similar superabounding trials to fret the
wife, exasperatL the husband, and provoke.
the interference of the mother-in-law. III the
husband is out of night, the wife has no
cause for jealousy, nor will he stumble in at
midnight with hiccough; he is doing III .t>
ing worse than spearing salmon or impals
lug deer to enrich the larder, or 1t may be
prowling about an enemy's camp to secure q
scalp or two.
Mothers -n- law, then, belong to an advanc.
ed civilization. They came in as a soliu in.
stitution with Christianity, for 1t must be &C.
knowledged that, however highly cultured
we've the Greeks and Romans, they justified
great deal OF irregularity in their family ar
rangements; and the mother-ip-law was not
inaugurated till the Church took the matte.
in hand, and began to keep registers and hold
men 10 their contracts; and old Barons were
brought sharply round in their doings, and G..
nally taught to see il was for their interest tn
establish orderly, legitimate, and Christian
families; and thus, when man married, he
could not break away from the surround ngs
of his wife and himself He could not be abb
sOlute, and she nothing, as with the savages.
Thus it will be seen that the Church and the
law have gradually created this respectable
nuisance the motheT-in-law. She is one of
the links that hold society together. She
proves that a man might have had grand
father. She indorses the entire respectable
ty of existing relations.
The Jewish nation have been in advance
of all Others in the sacredness with which
they have regarded the marriage relation,
though allowing usages unrecognized by
Christianity. With them the influence of the
mOther-in-law was felt and acknowledged at
very early date Nothing in literature is
more beautiful than the afitctionate devotion
of Ruth, the grandmother of the royal David,
to her mOther-in-law. Struck with poverty,
bereaved and widowed, the dsconsolate Mao
mi turned her face homewar1 to her own
country and kindred, and besought her two
daughters-in-law to leave her and be at peace
with their own people. One Of them kisses
hei mother-in law and turns back. Not SO
the lovely Ruth, destined to be the progentor
of the Christ. She refuses to forsake the wo-
man who has mothered the man whom she
loved and lost.
She excaims: ''Entreat me not to leave
thee; for whittier thou goest will so and
where thou lodgest will lodge; thy people
shall be my people, and thy God my God.
Where thon dies: will die, and there will
lie buried; the Lord do so to me and more
also, If aught but death paIt thee and me"
Beautiful importantly! beautiful devotion!
Can human love and tenderness go further
than this? One such example should plead
trumpet-tongued for thousand mothers-lD-
law.
There is another case which. incredible az it
may seem, caused miracle to be wrought in
behalf of a mother-in-law 1t would seem that
Simon's wife mother was grievously afflicted
with fever, and, she being greatly beloved OF
her friends, they besousht the Christ to heal
| her, which he did with singular dignity.
In these modern days, mothers who are
/ wellto-do in the world like to be surrounded,
| by neatness, order, and taste. They see all
| the little deeails oil household conscieI .ious
| ly. Knickerbocker wives and mothers, New
! England wives and mothers, have living es-
innate of CHEEKY comfort. They cannot
abide anything slipshod. Food well and
| wholesomely cooked, garments well made AID
well preserved, are the sine qua non with
| ,em. Every thing must be thorough. They,
themselves, last welfare blithe, healthfui,
and plump, TIL well on in life. Their boys
aIe used to all this handsome If not fail less
housekeeping. They have been church going
studious, well conditioned boys-well brought
up, it not herOically so. Now, see what may
come.
The boy marries some woman of wholly
different training, and the change is utter and
a.iiro He who nauar knaw a simmer ont al
place can never find one, He who had bis
own bureau and closet an desk which no one
invaded, finds everything topsy-tuIvy, strings
and straps and buttons gone TO the dogs, and
mixed with combs and brushes, ribbons, pet
ticoats and all sorts of unmentionables; no
towels OF morning, no soap-nothiDg as it
should be. He goes to breakfast his wife IL
bed zened with jewelry, her hair is in papers,
hei wrapper disordered; the bread is heavy,
| the steak overdone.the coffee 'thick as mud.'
He IS not Zero nor philosopher, but a
| plain young man without pretersion or nom
! sense. He filings out something about his
''mOtner's good Bread" and goes out to get
his breakfast at a restaurant.
In the meanwhile, the terrible mother-ir,.
law sees tn t matters are going wrong, and
she ventures with all gentleness to give lit
| tie advice-to help on the arrangements for
| the young vie, to show her how things
might be bettered, makes her presents, tells
her how many failures she herself made, be-
| fore her housekeeping became anyway per-
| feet, and encourages her in every way. If
the wife Is Of gentle teachable make, won
ders are accomplished. Reform is al once in
augurated, and the young pair take new
lease of life and happiness.
But the women OF our day are not made to
learn or concilate. They domineer. PERI
haps they are not native borp-perhaps they
come from the country where the domestic
virtues are little esteemed-where the
women are made free only by marriage, and
they dress 20 go abroad, not to beautify q
home. The young man finds himself sud-
denly deprived oil all the quiet, peace and
order OF the freside. In vain he tries to In
struct in vain he exercises patience and for
bearance. The wife is violent, treacherous.
aud slatternly; it Is her nationality, it Is use
less to complain, If the motheI-in-law ven
lures word of r.monstrance, she is OUT
ragged by the worst kind Of abuse, and al
sorts of indignities heaped upon her. 1t is
easy to see where all this must and does end
with the unfortunate pair. Reverse the
picture, say it is a daughter who has married
a lord count, or something Of the sort, and
the end is the same-separation, divorce
without aid from the mother-in-law.
No persons should enter into the marriage
relation unprovided with reasonable means
of support, and the household should be set
up outside of the paternal home. 1t is rarely
well for two households to conjoin under the
same roof. The young wife, unless of q
conscientious, sympathic make, Is sure to
| give or receive cause for aggression. The
| difference in years and experience, some
touch of natural feeiiug felt by the mother at
finding herself, perhaps, neglected or ignored
by the child of her love; mean, petty dis
content about precedence, dress, lJoks, and
expenditures, are very apt to supervene and
create annoyance, which it is wiser to avoi d.
l remember my grandfather refused to have
any of his cuidren move into the old home
stead, though bordering upon century, say
ing: ut is better to be loid of the castle ones
SELF
r Lucretia Mott, whose finely ordered
household might be considered model
| house, saw surrounded by her children and
grandchildren. Cheerful, bright, and hand
some, were they all. She told me they had
all lived together for seven years, and never
had the fir word of disagreement been
spoken between them. This was beautiful
experience All were Americans, cultivated
and religious, which greatly diminished any
tendency to disorder.
Where differences of religion, nationality
and culture exist, dscords are sure to arise,
and that without any sort of aid from the
mother-in-law. In all cases manly young
man will do better to cast himself and wife
upon their own responsibilities, and both