Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1874-04-23

A BoLr ALWAYS IN ORpER.-Sqaiils
declares his wife is always taking somc
kind Of mean advantage Of him. Tho
best woman in the world. sir;' say. Sqsills.
but uow and then she will act mean and
she can't help it,
Las, Saturday at breakfast. say. Squills.
she was as smiling as bundle Of chips
Arc your chops done to your liking.
SGuills. dear 7
'Deliciously my love-
Il knew it was going to be hot Squills
said. and when got into the hall to leave.
Mrs. Squills was there with my hat in
one hand and my overcoat in the other
'S9uills dear she began.
Il thought it time to pi,,h in here
said Squills. so I said quietly:
How much. Mrs. Squills ! Out with
it. my love-
Mr.. Squills. don't be anmanly. sir. I
beg not to say ridiculous. Gussy wants
silk dress to go to church in: tho poor
child really inst decent. You are very
sorry well. SO you ought to be. Let
her say her prayers at home No. Mr..
Sqnills, she shan. stay at home. aud sho
shan's say her prayers; and. Mr.. Squills.
you're enough to ngsravatc = saint. and
your conduc. is disgusting. and it's enough
to drive woman to bolt right Of to Chi
cago and get a divorce
Il thought this was a good time TO iro
off my pet joke said Squills; SO I said.
Mrs. Squill. a BOLTS always in order
Then I bol,ed myself. for Mrs. Squills
comes Of fighting family.
when I went home that night Gussy.
dear child. played all my pet Oifenbach
music. and knew was in for the dress.
only wanted to hold out till morning.
just for the look Of the thing
For Eve years after ws wero married
Mrs. Squills would persis. in looking un-
der the bed for q man. It's the same
man every woman looks for, I suppose,
because they all do it. Well. all failing
to End the man. Mrs. Sinills' gave up in
disgust. and took to something else. I
suppose they'd all take to something clse
after they can't find the man under tho
bed. Mrs. SquiIls' weakness is boiling
the door. Mr.. Squills have you bolted
the door q? is always the last thing at night.
This particular night Mrs. Squills was
very dignifed and distant. NO familiar
tiles. Mr.. Squills. if you please. you
wounded my feelings in their tendercst
point this morning. and cannot forget.
though your wife. sir. and the mother Of
your children. Mr. Squills.'
This was pitching in uncommonly
strong, you know said Squills. and I
was about TO surrender, when Mrs. Squills
turned off some where on the outside bed
rail Not even Good night Squlls.'
felt pretty bad about it. but l went
to sleep: but after awhile experienced .
kick in the back. as if some playful mulo
had been tanning me. Perhaps it was
necessary as always sleep hard.
'Mr. Squills.' at last I heard Mrs.
Squils say. Mr.. Squills. have you bol.cd
the door!'
Now. leave it to any man, whether
that is the correct thing for the mother Of
a family to do? OF course got up and
boltcd the door. and ! said. Mrs. Squills.
why didn't you think Of boiling the door
before went to sleep. and not wake up =
man in the middle of cold night to do
it, and what do you suppose her answer
was?
why Mr. Squills. said she. L thought
a bolt was always in order
What did say7 What could say ?
And the worst Of ALL said Squills. IN
be hanged if she wasn't laughing at me;
l could feel the bed shaking