davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26

A Disl,eartened Agent.

A family named Kemper moved into
a house in our row last week, writes
Max Adeler, and Benjamin P. Gum,
the life insurance agent, who lives in
the same row, was the first caller. He
dropped in to see if he could not take
out a policy for Mr.. Kemper. Mrs.
Kemper came down to the parlor to see
him.
"I suppose" said Gum, "Mr. KEN
per has no insurance on his life."
"No," said Mrs. Kemper.
"Well, I'd like to get him to take
out policy in our company. It's the
safest in the world the largest capital,
smallest rates, and biggest dividends. u
"Mr. Kemper don't take much in
terest in such things now," said Mrs.
Kemper.
"Well, madam, but he ought to, in
common justice to you. No man knows
when he will die, and by paying a RI
diculously small sum now, Mr., Kemper
can leave his family in affiuence. I'd
like to hand you, for him, few PAM
phlets containing statistics upon the
subject; may ?"
"Of course, if you wish to-"
DOu u yOu bulu uS Ctl UO lhNiuSSu
to insure ?" asked Gum.
CT hardly think So" replied Mrs.
Kemper.
"He is in good health, I suppose
Has he complained lately of being
sick ?"
"Not lately"
"May ask if he has any considera'
BILE wealth ?"
"Not a cent"
"Then, of course he must insure
No poor man can afford to neglect suct
an opportunity. I suppose he travels
sometimes goes about in railroad
cars and other dangerous places"
"No, he keeps very quiet.
Man of steady habits. s'pose?"
every steady"
"He is just the very man I want,
said Gum /; "I know I can sell him
policy"
"I don't think you can" replied Mrs
Kemper.
"Why? When will he be home
I'll call on him. I don't know any rea
son why shouldn't insure him."
~ know" replied Mrs. K.
"Why?"
"He has been dead twenty-sevel
years." said the widow.
Then Gum left all of sudden. 81
will not insure any of the Kempers.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
The Old Love.

In vain men tell us time can alter
Old loves or make old memories falter,
That with the old year the old years life
closes,
The old dew still falls by the old sweet
flowers,
The old sun revives the new-fedged hours,
The old summer rears the newborn roses.
Much more muse that bears upon her
Raiment aud wreath and flower of honor,
Gathered long since and long since woven,
Fades not or falls as fall the vernal,
Blossoms that bear no fruit eternal
By summer or winter charred or cloven.
No timo casts down, no time upraises,
Such loves, such memories, and such praises,
AS need no grace of sun or shower,
No saving screen from frost or thunder,
To tend and house around and under
The imperishable and peerless flower,
Old thanks old thoughts, old aspirations,
Outlive mems lives and lives of nations,
Dead, but for one thing which survives
The inalienable and unr,riced treasure,
The old JOY of power, the old pride of pleas
ure,
That lives IN light above mems lives.
"A. G. SwINBURNE.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
What Alcohol Will Do.

The Sanitarian tells what alcohol
will do, thus "It may seem strange,
but it is nevertheless true, that alcohol
regularly applied to thrifty farmers
stomach will remove the boards from
the fence let cattle into his crops /;
kill his fruit trees mortgage his farm,
and SOW his fields with wild oats and
thistles. 1t will take the paint off his
building, break the glass out of the
windows, and fill them with rags. 1t
will take the gloss from his clothes and
polish from his manners, subdue his
reason, arouse his passions, bring sor-
row and disgrace upon his family, and
topple him into a drunkard's grave.
1t will do this to the artisan and the
capitalist, the matron and the maiden,
as well as to the farmer for in its
deadly enmity to the human race, alco-
hol is no respecter of persons.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
What q Woman Did.

There lives widow out West who
never did anything useful until after
her husband died and left her half a
dozen children to take care OF. She
thought a great deal of her husband,
but he did not leave her enough sub
stance to buy him gravestone, and
this fact set her to work. She deter
mined that the poor mans grave should
have a respectable mark. So she got a
marble slab and went to work on it,
making gravestone for the departed.
Thus she began to carve out her for
tune. She finished the work and learn
ed the trade of stone-cutter at the
same time. She soon did some other
marble work and offered it for sale. 1t
proved acceptable, and she was given q
permanent place in a marble yard, and
is making regular artisans wages and
keeping her family in good style
Sometimes husband does turn out &
benefit to woman, though she may
| not realize his use until she loses him
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
A CO.Operative Household.

1 have heard, writes a London corre-
spondeut, an amusing account of the
failure of recent attempt to estab-
lish confederated home in London.
Five families possessing small incomes
united in the establishment of a COM
mon home. A large house in the
Bloomsbury region was taken for the
purpose, and the arrangements for the
regulation of the household were made
with the utmost care and precision.
There was to be common dining-room
in which all the meals of the household
were to be taken and each family had
set of rooms which it was to furnish
and arrange as suited its own convent
ence. There was to be one cook for the
whole household, and couple OF SER
wants to do the other work. The ex-
pertinent was commenced, and Tor the
first day or two matters went well
enough. Before week had passed,
however, it became evident that to
govern a confederated home would be
nearly as difficult as to manage an Irish
Parliament. The five families could
never agree upon what they should eat
and drink. The dinner especially was
a standing subject of dispute, and the
consequence was that the kitchen be-
came a scene of constant wrangling be-
tween the unfortunate cook and her
five mistresses. Five bells would fire.
ouently be ringing at the same time,
and one family would complain that
they were neglected and that another
was receiving undue attention. Then
the children of the different families
would quarrel, and OF course each
mamma was sure that her darhngs
were not the cause OF the disturbance.
Before a week lad passed the confed
Grated home became what the person
who told me the story called a confed-
Grated discord, and had to be broken
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
How to Fix Them.

Very often screw hole gets SO worn
that the screw will not stay in. Where
glue is handy, the regular carpenter
makes the hole larger and CLUES in a
large plug, making nest for an entire
ly new hole. But this is not always the
case, and people without tools and in
an emergency, often have to fix the
thing at once. Generally leather is
used, but this is so hard that it does
not hold we'll. The best of all things
is to cut narrow strips of cork, and fill
the hole completely. Then force the
screw in. This will make as tight a
job as if driven into an entirely new
hole
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
All for Love.

Six years ago, in the town of East
Lyme, Conn, man went to bed. 9th
ers went to bed at the same time, but,
though they occasionally get up and
dress themselves, this odd character
doesn't. His reasons are satisfactory,
SO far as they go. He was hurt in his
heart. He was crossed in that love the
course of which always did run rough.
So the disappointed, broken-spirited
despairing swain groans upon his pill
low, writhes between the sheets, and is
fed by his old mother.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26

DID Nor KNOW HIM.-Gov. Bradley
of Nevada got on the train at Elko, one
day recently, to go to Palisade. The
car was crowded, and he was compelled
to perambulate the entire length of the
car to obtain a seat. "Good-morning,
my son how. d 'ye, do to-day, sar ?" said
the Governor, in his good-natured way,
to big Missourian, who had generously
given up half his seat to the stranger
who had thus accosted him. "That's
all right, my friend," said the stranger
"but don't make yourself quite 81
familiar with me, if you please I have
heer'd of you before-you're one 0
them three-card fellows-but you can
come it over me, not much. I've bee
thar myself, I have !"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
A FISH STORY. "A Marine City (Micl

A FISH STORY. "A Marine City Mich. }
paper has this pretty little fish story /:
"A sunfish that had been kept in a
globe for upward of year in the family
much so that it was feared the pet
would die. The fish was accordingly
thrown into the deep water of st. Clair
river, a month since, and disappeared
under the surface. A few days ago the
same fish was recaptured close in shore
by some boys and returned to its glass
prison, evidently well pleased with its
summer vacation. and glad to get back
home again"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-11-26
The Next United States Congress.

The following table is given of the
status of the next or forty-fourth Uni
ted States Congress. The official vote
and elections to take place next spring
will change the figures slightly, al
though not materially:
YLIIId XLIVth
Congress. Congress,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

A WESTERN WoNDER.-The greatest wontl.
er in the State of Iowa, and perhaps any other
State, is what is called ''Walled Lakes il.
Wight county, twelve miles north of the Du>
buque and Pacific railway, and about one hun-
dred and fifty miles west OF Dubuque city
The lake is from two to three feet higher than
the earth surface. In some places the wall is
ten feet higher; width at bottom fifteen feet
and at the top five. Another fact is the size OF
the stones used in construction, the whole Of
them varying in weight from three tons down
to one hundred pounds. There is all abund-
ance Of stones in Wight county, but surround
ing the lake to the extent of five or ten miles
there are none. No one can form any idea a,
to the means employed to bring them to tin.
spot or who constructed it. Around the entire
lake is belt of woodland, halt mile in width,
composed Of oak; With this exception the couli>
try is rolling prairie. The tree must have been
planted there at the time of building Of tho
wall. In the Spring Of 1856 there was a great
storm, and the ice on the lake broke the wall
in several places, and the farmers were oblgs1
to repair damages to prevent humiliation. Th~
lake occupies ground surface Of two thous~
| and eight hundred acres depth OF water as
| great as twenty five feet, The water is clear
and cold soil sandy and loamy. 1t is singi-
lar that no one has been able to ascertain where
| the water comes from, nor where it goes, yet
| it is always clear and cold,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
NO. Is.

the bond required to accompany
the same shall exceed five thousand dollars
shall be considered. unless accompanied with
the check or draft herein required, together.
with the bond required by preceding section !;
Provided, That nothing in this acl shall be.
construed or intended to affect any penaltiea
or forfeftufes which have heretofore accrued
under the provisions Of the sections hereby
amended
SEC. Ii. That hereafter the postage on pub.
lie documents mailed by any member of Con.
gress, the President, or head of any Executives
Department shall be ten cents for each bound
volume, and on unbound documents the samv
rate as that on newspapers mailed from a
known office of publication to regular subscri,
bers; and the words Public Document,' writ
ten or printed thereon. or on the wrapper
thereof, and certified to by the signature Of
any member Of Congress, or by that Of the
President, or head Of any Executive Depart
ment shall be deemed sufficient certificate,
that the same is a public document and tho
term ''public document is hereby defined to
be all publications printed by order Of Con-.
gress, or either House thereof: Provided,
That the postage on each copy of the daily
Congressional Record mailed from the city OF
Washington as transient matter shall be ono
cent.
Approved, June %. 1874.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
Yankee A1istocracy.

The Gazette of the 2lst contains an authotI.
tative statement from Miss frankie Christie.
whose marriage to the son of Rear Admiral
jenkins a few days since, created such senss.-
ton. From the statement it appears that shs
had determined on separation for two years, at
which time, Jenkins will have attained his ma,
jority. In the meantime, she has promised him
that she would not make opposition to his oh.
tanning divorce, nor place any obstacles in the
way of his complete reconciliation with his FAM
lily. That while she was not recognized by his
family,it would be her honest endeayor to hrinx
no reproach or scandal upon it, and that in ali
things she should conduct herself as a lady, and
never make use of her married name. Profes-
sionally she further agreed and promised, that
if his father has not taken him by the time h,
is twenty one, she will resume her marital re-
lations with him, if he desires her and do what
she can for their mutual support aud that sh,,
would do anything that Admiral Jenkins coul.l
ask, to break the marriage and restore him hiA
son.-Greenpille, IS. e. Ne,os.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

The BEST YET. - The Burlington, Iowa.
Hawkeye says man has invented a paten,
rat-trap that does not require any bait, and will
fetch rat every time it reaches for him. It
operates on the principle OF stomach pump
the inventor is retired physician. ..the sands
of whose life have nearly,' etc.-and the tra-
mis- placed at the mouth of fhe rat WHOLE
When it is wound up and the suction begins.
the rat comes. He may hold on the ground
with his teeth, and hump his back, and paw
dirt, and weep, and yell for the police all he
wants, he comes out OF that hole backwards, Is
dragged into back compartment, where =.
steel glove drags his hide off and lays it asid=s
for kid glove manufacturer, while the carcass
is pushed into a little furnace and cremated.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

PERMANENT ,WHITEwAsH.-Tak half q
bushel Of unslacked lime, slack in with boiling
water, covering it during the process to keep ID
the steam strain the liquid through 1lne
sieve or strainer, and add to it peck of salt
previously well dissolved in water; 3 pounds o.
ground rice boiled to thin paste, and stirre
in boiling hot; half q pound of Spanish viii ;,
ting, and a pound OF clean glue which ha>
and then hanging over a slow fire in small
kettle inside larger one filed with water
add five gallons Of hot water to tile mixture,
stir it well, and let it stand a few days covered
from the dirt. It should be put ON quite hot !;
for this purpose it can be kept i'll kettle on 4.
furnace. \ pint of the mixture viii cover s,
yard square OF the outside Of q house, If an,
piled with large paint brush, l,-s ~.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
sTAUNToS, VA,
ON THE CLIFF,

ON THE CLIFF,
Half down the cliff the pathway ends,
The rocks grow steep and sheer:
Hard by sudden stream descends
From ledge to ledge with breaks and bends.
1t dashes cool and clear.
Across the bay green r,pples flow
III endless falls and swells;
Clear shows the ribbed sea-how below,
And round dark rocks in whiteness glow
Smooth sands of crfsped shells.
Foam -specks before the wind that glide,
The sleeping sea-gulls float;
Amid eyes crimson shadows wide,
Rocked softly by the swaying tide,
Yet safe as anchored boat
Their white and folded wings are laid
On tides that change and flow,
The daylight passes into shade;
Yet calm thy rest, and unafraid,
What'er may come and go.
So safe, mid waste of waters wide
Below the darkening sky,
80 safe my heart and may bide,
Calm floating on times changeful tide,
Beneath eternity.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
StnMntO,a Advertisements.
SOMETHING NEW FOR
HOnSEKEEP Err S
AND
HEADS OF FAMILIES.
s,n,pru,Na NEW FOR EVERYBODY.
GOODS SOLD
ar R4ETIMORE PRICES,
and delivered within the city
FREE OF CHARGE.
StnM,sto,a Advertisements.

r,r STORE is now filed with of the most
oomn,ete and choicest stocks of Groceries, spices,
canned Goods. Household sundries ana FANNY
supplies generally, unsurpassed by any nouee
this aide Of the Blue Ridge, and unequalleo Dy
any like establishment in the East.
Tbi. establishment differing, as it does, from
svery other in this city, offers peculiar ~. at
xes to all buyers, and we earn0'''' "
ronage of the people.
groceries. and complete assortment u i"n'''
supplies. .,...:o,
To.s O. fill line, the largest in TINS section-
.on.;s,sng of Gunpowder, Imperial, loung ny
son- Oolong. English Breakfast ana japan, VI
au.lities and prices defying competition.
Rroma. Cocoa, Chocolate, Rachabout and 9TH
or delicious beverages
CamfectiOneries and Preserved foods IN
great variety, Cheese, Crackers Apple ou'sea,
Hackerel.. errng and Cod Fish, Moiasses W., ano
:Syrups, Family Bacon, Lard and BUTTER WIG
gar, SC. ,.,o
s,,;oos a. general an complete line, whole
and ground guaranteed fresh and pure.
vermacell. Maccaroni, Starch, Flavorlng TX
tracts. Said Oils Sauces, prepared -orserau.sn'
Essences, Backing, Shoe ana o,ose o'.s 81
Iaundry Blue, Washing ard iolieS ooap'' "nN
Housekeepers Sundries generally
puoom. Wbisps. Buckets, Tubs, Pals, Bowls,
pos,,et. Travs Washboards, Dippers, and Dust
inc and Shoe Brushes, and thousand and one
other articles.
Tnhacco. chewing and smoking, of superi:
or grades. and the finest brands of imported ane
domestic Cigars.
Canned Goods, embracing every variety r. sr
of fruit aud We setables put up expressly 1or 1an
;,v use. Fresh and spiced Salmon and Oysters
1.ohsters. potted Ham, Chicken, Turkey. Bee
Tongue and American and English ileR.e
OF every kind, ana NICK MAINS S''
Lunches Parties and Tourists.
TURNER s. HARMAN,
ar26 Main street, Stanton, va
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
n.lE4NTAL NOTICE. -,
l DIR. J. T.. Wilson

- .rhe Raltimore College of Dental Sur
graduate osirnanenty located Stanton and to-
Of Rr hm To
years OF on the dental organs will be perform
Cd sR If ana rates
hc IA SCI ee5IAPMAN will be in the office during the
s9mmn &c E d ~ wilson, june Atm
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

A returning enligrant wagon passed throne,
Cedar Falls. Iowa. last week, bearing the e.
pfessive aud euphoHious label, ssD--ln tn,
grasshoppers.'
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

In sudden attacks of diarrhoa a large sup o.
strong tea with sugar and milk, will frequenrs
ly bring the system to healthy state. Z
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
no the Ladies'!
Mrs NJ. G. GARRETT,

MAN TU A-NIAKER,
who is thoroughly acquainted with dress cutting.
fitting and making. and satisfy the most fas~
tidious taste, has removed to Staunton, and COM
menced business on Main street, above the Boot
and Shoe store Of C. L. Weller. Her charges
will be moderate, and satisfaction guaranteed.
She respectfully soieits share Of the public
patronage.
Bradding and Introducing done in the mos
tasteful style on application. april 2-ls74
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

Ont In Montana. when they start q maa
down nil in barrel they speak Of his ,.spps,.s.-
aAee IN y new ro.l,'
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
Eylerz Cooper Dc Co..
STAUNTON, VA,
NGINEEEss, FOUNDERS, AN u

STAUNTON, VA,
NG1NEERs, FOUNDERS, AN
aACazENIsTs.
auuYacture portable and stationary Steam En-
gnss, Saw Mills M R,;19aa ap4 Trucks M Der
Kicks. Skating Pulleys, and tang
ers PITTS Thrsshsng Machine
Repairs. Plows anal piow
Castings, Hay Rakes,
Straw Cutters,
sc, &c.
We desire te express our aPprec'a',oh: VI NV
aiberal patronage bestowed upon US oufing 'ne
aa.t two years by generous puohe' our JUS
ness firm being made up pf'ncpa,y " ss
ars from a distance, we had no reason
- exnect the patronage of the community OF
.our adoption except so far as It was 1oohceo
un.n determination to mike our work compare
fayorably in price and quality with mat OF nrs'-
class city shops, and conviction that' by SO 10
INC we would merit and obtain q large snare OF
,ht o,.ss If work which has not heretofore been
nn1.rtaken in this section, but which had to be
sroupht from the cities The result mas proved
the reasonableness of our expectations ana en-
seuraees US to press forward with reneweu ehef
~. aud with ever increasing anu ehiarsius Ia
eilities :,
We invite an inspection of our shops by those
.asutem plating the purchase of machinery.
We endeavor to make all our purchases for
cash and having a limited amount of capital, we
are consequently compelled 10 require cash or
negotiable note, at short time, for all work -,
For the quality of our work, we take the lib
erty of referring to the following gentlemen,
among the many from whom we have received
orders.
Col. L. R. smoot, Buffalo Gap Furnace.
f Mohler, Goshen Bridge,
Witt & Holt. Staunton,
VIM. Steele, Moffett's Creek, P. o.
Cook g. LYMAN Ciine'S Mill,
D. ]. Hyden, Sherando,
Jacob Hanger, Churchville,
C. C. Mcclure,
J.E Landes, Long Glade F. o.
A. J. Rahm. Richmond. 1ep OH
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06
Masonic Building

xua have inst returned from the Eastern Market
with full and wen selected stock o OF
MnlcM mn a. would do well to call and examine be-
lore lore purchasing elsewhere. @ay ~
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

VYYapOu Making and BlacksmitIling.-The
w Undersigned formerly OF Churchville, has open
ed Wagon Making and Blacksmithing establish,
door to the Carriage Factory of Captain Waters
he is prepared to execute all work in his line out o.
good material in the best and at low figures
Repairing promptly done and all work warranted
also Manufacture Fesieg's patent Lifting Jack
the greatest thing out and indispensable to farmers
generally Call and see it.
feb l3-tf JAMES M. LICKLITER.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

r III. WATERS & son,
y. MANUFACTURERS OF
Carriages and BugSies,
Near Virginia Hotel, STAuNToN, VIRGINIA.
Keep constantly on hand Carriages and Buggies of
every description. By close attention to business
and fair dealing they guarantee entire satisfaction.
Strict attention paid to REPAIRING. Give them q
call before purchasing. apl Soft
COCHRAN q WALKER,
" Call attention to their fine brands of
CHEWING TOBACCO,
s'Gravely, yellow Bird" 'Nectar Leaf" d. and
Rough and Ready
Also their superior lot of Smoking Tobacco, COM
posed Of the following brands:
Lone Jack" "Va. Choice" 'sGravely," sBuds and
Blossoms and 'Short Horn Durham"
dec %
IN SHARES 1sT NATIONAL BANK OF HAIR
w RISONBURG STOCK FOR SALE.-Apply to
J. Bumgardner & Sons or address
WILLIAM FISHER & SONS,
Bankers and Stock Brokers,
80 South ST., Baltimore.
Dealers in Virginia Securities and Coupons, upon
which are prepared at all times to make advances
on the most favorable terms. je 25-4t
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-08-06

W. M. UUNLAI,
OONALD hLAh1A>' Z. B. E.
g. Z. NJ. E.
A AA XVI q Mining Engineers & Surveyors
STAUNTON, VA,
<a,.+ee in snecial Engineering School a.. WASH
Asraou ington s. Lee University Lexington va.
Having had several years experience IN an
surveys and construction, and IN TOPOGRAPHY
sineraI Surveys in Virginia, West Va ana fen iyie
ania 10 ein
3nnGranhicai Surveys and Maps; examination VI
q IRON and COAL the
and construction of railroads t9rnpRe a nc
the investigation of titles to land by piS's anu
veys, &C., &C. pEFERENCEs:
Faculty Washing aDonogh schoo Nd
eo Alfred Rlyss G. H Eag a h west
nn a IA Hotchiss rop Eng staunt4n Va e. co1
niS ReIi + Catlett, Attys at Law Stauheon' a." WA
n a. Hartman, Staunton, va. ,e
once No H. Main street. 20 foor. op-- y