The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-01-28
SCRAPS.

NlmrOQ WAS " lllSi'y h""'Ni, o'
henever saw an aunt elope.
l. The latest dodge in books-Re-
turning borrowed volumes as
|Christmas presents.
A photographer requested that
his sign, s'taken from life,'' should
tbe his.epitaph.
A Western newspaper heads its
lists Of female personal intelligence
:"Her Colum.'
""Muggins" says that, in these
hard times. five dollar greenback
llaoks as big as a circus poster.
!" A Nevada postmaster has written
20. Washington to know if he can
rent part of the office for faro
bank. i
Bulwer said that journalism is
more fitted to destroy bad govern
ihents than to construct foundations
for good ones.
Josh Billings says: "Success
don't konsist in never making blum
aers, but in never making the same
one;:the aeckond time
..' R YOU wish to travel scheaply,
patronize those railroads which adj
1ertiae to carry their passengers
"through without change"
Alta recent dinner of shoemakers
the following toast was given:
"May we have all the women in the
country to shoe and all the men to
boot"
Ben Franklin's watch is owned
by:a staunch old Pennsylvania far
.mer. This is opening the year with
a. frst-class stock paragraph. For
an economical man, Franklin
owned many watches. We know
|of four. Perhaps lie used to "swap
fickers." )"
A solemn warning might be ta-
ken from the i:ste of Western ed
stor who started out to astonish the
natiyeswitfl a lecture; but snow
-istoru,.arose, the driver lost lIis way,
,the wagon upset, and the lecturer
broke his collar bone and two ribs.
Peter Van Dyke. an old chap,
who died in New Hampshire the
,other day, worth $40, ,OOo in cash,
requested in his will that no one
ssshould shuttle and shed crocodile
tears at his funeral, but cover him
over and then hurry home to tight
!over his money"
q. The Brooklyn Eagle is response
bic for the following: "Pimpleville,
vt, is evidently not good field for.
an independent, outspoken Journal.
The RimbIeyille Post lately pub
>]ished this item: "Those who have
lately been engaged in sheep-steal-
ing had better stand from under.
We know whom we are talking
about The result was a loss of
sixty subscribers, and the paper will
go into bankruptcy"
; Some Jackass says: "Cheer up,
cheer. up; it's a long lane that has
no turn" Don't we know it? OF
course it's a long lane that has no
turn. How perfectly absurd to ex-
,pect a fellow to cheer up because a
fong lane has no turn! We decline
to, cheer up for any such reason.
= A man 'ini Hartford has stopped
his newspaper because his name
was printed in a list of advertised
letters, and his wife, happening to
See it first, went and got it for him
and found it was from a young To-
.dy, who complained that he didn't
meet her at. Worcester, as he prom
ised. .rAt .,u:.>>.,. 49,
: The stripgency in the egg market
is painful There has been a large
falling off in deposits of late, many
of the hens having entirely, sus-
pended, while others are holding
On to their reserves. 1t is thought,
however, that nearly all will be able
to resume in the spring, when the
crops begin to move. -.
e",An indianapolis editor is rcspon-
sible: for this: "a young lady in
Indiana sought to delnolish an un-
faithful lover by publishing some
verses addressed to him, in which,
after prophesying her immediate
dissolution, she said: Come gaze
upon my dust, false one But the
scompositor spelled dust with 3D."
"''Lapeer, Mich, has had a dramat-
ic entertainment. The "Union Spy
was produced, and the local editors
ecstatic feelings on the occasion
maybe inferred from his allusion
to "a b;lIowyt ocean of foaming
skirts, which, in. their virgin aud
::uucontaminated.purity, rolled and
;surged and putied in the gaslit air.
!. One Of the Japanese students at
Yale was accosted by Sophomore
the other day. with, ''What:s your
a1arne?"., The gentleman from Ja-
pan answered politely, giving his
surname. ."Oh," rejoiped the ques-
ILL., laa14 1aza