The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-10-21
An Arabian Night.

Our 1rlenQ CurtS - iouAmS AVE ueW
boarding-house. sa i-.l 81
He changed about o week ago because
his landlady was not disposed to respect the
stringency of the times and insisted upon,
having her four dollars and q half every
Saturday night, 3tl3 4e .ii-a51 81
He was not long in procuring another
place with an unsuspicious family Of marked
geological tendencies. 40 ras,, .8t sy,.f, =.
Curtis did not discover this feature until
be had committed himself by having his
baggage moved to the new place. lie was
not long in finding this out, however. It
took him but short time to discover that
a regiment of mosquitoes had camped upon
his left ear, and about the same time he was
also made aware that another battalion had
pitched tents on his right leg, and then he
began to realize tat both bodies comprised
the advance guards Of two hostile armies.
At least Curtis infers that such was the
case, for he has been before q notary. and
volunteered to make affidavit, either by
affirmation or downright swearing, that from
ten o'clock until morning, those two bellig-
gerent forces were constantly sending out
scouts to the various and remotest parts Of
his person, both individually and collec-
lively, on horseback and a-foot, and that
sharp picket skirmishing was the order Of
3 the day oil night, and that while these
imaneuyres were going on upon the pro-
yincial portions of his body, the main forces,
1 with banners flying, drums beating, and
bagles shrieking, did then ard; there, With
! out just proyocation or intention aforesaid,
strike ontla and advance milne of battle, to
the interior, where, they halted and pro-
ceeded to construct fortifcations by throw
ing up earthworks and sinking mines. l3ts
His suferings during the bloody campaign
that followed are not within the descriptive
scope of our ordinary steel pen, The on
slaught Of the infantry was fearful, and the
cavalry charges made Curtis fairly riseup in
bed with emotion, but this only gaSe tho
artillery o better chance to besiege the
heights, and then he would fall back on bis
pillow and think Of stage driver he used ussee d.
to know out West, who could spill out two
hundred and eighty-seven big words in q
minute, .f,.t-& @dt .sf3I-.aoss{Gg ..sI
About this time his thoughts we're par :,
tally diverted from the campaign at home
by the cries Of 9 young rooster cooped up;
in the back yard, who had been for some
time trying to attract his attention by o
most incessant and discordant Growing, and
then fJrlorn little dog who is tied to a
post in the neighborhood got sight of the
moon and commenced to discuss in, the Ian
guage nature taught him, but with a decid-
edly uncultivated voice.
While Curtis was trying to calculate how
much ability it would take to catch and
crush the mosquitoes and how mnch it
> would cost for strychnine enough to put the
dog at rest, and whether the rooster would
taste best in pot-pie or stew, his thoughts
were again knocked into confusion by
conyocation of cats on an adjacent roof who
seemed to be canvassing the merits Of the
St. Louis bridge and the Brooklyn Sorrow
. in very kindly spirit; and then Curtis
tried by puzzling over the arithmetic he
learned Mt school to guess how much pow
der it would take to blow up the building;
but before he had got further than one keg
and two pounds, q calf in the stable COM
menced bawling: billy-goat set up his
protest; about two hundred hens COM
menced singing their evening hymn; the
6re-bells Joined in; the lightning express
dashed by, with the throttle-valve open to
the widest; party of graceless boys set up
an old-fashioned serenade at the house next
door where wedding had come of that
day; terrific thunderstorm set III; and
as poor suffering Curtis tossed aid rolled in
agony, he fairly concluded that all creation
had indeed broken loose. ..............
Curtis is now q candidate for bed and
board in quiet neighborhood. No ohieo-
ton to going q considerable distance into
the Country. ----.......