The Van Buren press., 1874-08-25
Took the Starch Out of dim.

or market the eggs Of last weeks laying.
Above all things on earth, she detested
that class OF young people wne think
themselves better than their fathers be
fore them, and 1t delighted her beyond
measure to take the starch cut Of them
Being in the mood for a visit to the
city. she got into the car on the Penn.
sylvania Central, with an old-fashioned
carpet bag and band-box, on her way
to visit some friends in the city.
As she took her seat her eyes rested
upon young man with his hair parted
in the middle, dressed in gorgeous attire,
with his ambrosial locks highly scented,
and his clothes cut in the height Of lash
ion-a perfect specimen of the young men
who lounge IN the lobbies of theatres,
and operas, between the acts. and say,
Ian" and "yaas, when you speak to
them
1t happened that Aunt Jane knew this
young man, and that he knew her as well
was shown by the horrible manner in
which ho regarde her.
"The sakes alive, John Henry" she
said. "How du yew DUP
t'Au! I'm pretty well. madam. he re-
piled, casting furtive glance about the
car to see that no one who knew him
heard her address him b. that aseadfa!
name-John Henry-he, who wrote bis
name j. Henri Boone.
"How's your father2" the old lady
persisted. II au like your father, un
fortunit as he has been in bizincss!
knowed him when he billed soap at Tully,
and remember you when you wasn't
knee high to grasshoppcr. Lordy
how you used TO tear the seat out Of
your pants! =
"Ya as !; but madam
"Don't madam me; cant stand it,
Tn Aunt Jane Parker; aud We spanked
you off enough The Lord knC VS. you
needed it Du you remember them yeller
humspun pants gave you, once upon II
timer Your father was awful poor
them days, helped Kim every way |
could. 1t was dretful hard times for a
poor man to git along with dozen lazy
young uns to clothe and feed Lots
Of fjohnnycake and suet them days.
dunno what he would have done if it
hadn't been for the later crap, That
saved him. ! guess.
Ayoung lady just behind them with
whom j. Henri had been trying to flirt,
at this moment caught a glimpse-of his
horr6cd face, and covered her mouth
with her handkerchief. Her delicate
frame shook with emotion or laughter, it
is hard to tell which.
whats your father a dewin' now,
John Henry" demanded Aunt Jane,
beaming upon MIN like seraph
"He is in the iron business, replied
John Henry with despairing look.
% So heerd, shoein' horses amt he p
j. Henri Boone began to get uneasy in
his seat. What would the Young lady
think Of him What would this scandal,
Gus old female think of nextY He felt
shudder pass through his frame, for he
could not tell what she would hunt up
again.
GOOD grashus, she said, breaking
out abruptly. "How well I'member the
time yew went out to steal Squire Far
lsy's melons,! lie he ! it makes me larf
when think Of it, P"
"You see, Miss" she continued, ad.
dressing the young lady, "he undertuk
tn run, and he got caught by the slack of
bis pants on picket, and there he hung.
like General Putnam, till Squire Farley
cum out. licked him awful, and tux him
down. He was all stripes aud bruises,
tell yer
Madam, said j. Henri, desperately,
al don't remember any such crcum
stance.
Don't ye? Good grnshus! l mem.
Der it as we'll as ef it was Yesterday Few
got powerful memory, John Henry?
thought you went into the barber bzi.
ness p
"You are mistaken, madam. am
not engaged in any low calling of that
sort
..Mebe not. did hear that he left
the bixiness becoz the customers said
you scraped 'em so awful they could not
sand IT,
Here the young lady laughed, without
any attempt at concealment.
'What are We dewin', il ! may be so
bold as to ask?'
"Madam, l am an electric physician.
"What's thatf'
"a doctor, madam, doctor!" roared
J. Henri.
"Are YEP Grashus Peter ! thought
Won was a .fdaier. ="
J. Henri Boone picked up his valise
and made rush for the smoking car,
aud Aunt Jane was satisfied She had
taken the starch out Of him.