, 1874-10-25
IiUa0!f.

-Oyeters are having an I'd time Of it.
Water reddens the rose, whisky tie nose,
aud tight boots the toes.
Drops of the cratcr-Ashes and hot stones.
| -Alorrissey's 1,olcv-~.A long pool. + strong
pool. and pool altogether.
We seEd to our butcher for ewcet-bread,
aud if We want s"eet-mcat We send TO ou1
oaker.
1t ia rery well to say, "Take things IL tnoy
oome;" but suppo-e thoy don't come?
Good places for matca-meklns-Sulphur
springs.
Lager -rhy thms-The sons Of German stu
dent.
1t tho age OF 80. The nanse Of the fortunate
boarding house that drew tns prize ii not glvcn.
-Whv is \ mouse like 4 load Of hay? Because
the cat'u eat it.
1t is sa!t that scratching ticko: sometimes
cures an Itch for office.
Which are the four nlost corpuloot letters in
the a:phabet? o, B. c, T (ctcsi:v}- ..
-Xia: IL the difference ,e." ecu spendthr!ft
and feather bed? Ono IL hard up, and the
other soft down.
Leslie Combs savs he has Is NO: : false Or
unsound TOOTH" This is an unprecedented in
stance Of the durability Of tine-tooth Combs.
What III tho difference between = man who
flaws Young OK ana the helmsman Of vessel? !?
One ba1ka his steer. aud the other s:eess hls
bark
~ Don't bccvo there's any use in vaccina-
ated. and he iell out OF a windo. next day and
got killed."
A Boston paper, ignoring the oonf1asrasion
OF the Huo. maliciousy suggests thai, ~ the est
is termed - the Switzerland Of A1neEica." Chi
caeo should be called the American Berue."
New version Of Burns By the medical stu
dent-''1f . body snatch a body
1T ls related OF poueain that, being shown =
picture By person of rank, he remarked: You
only. wait little poverty, sir, to make 5ou
good paiuter."
"A builder, when returning thanks to those
who drank his health, modt1tly observed that
he was moro fitted for the scafFold than public
speaking"
Mr.. Pleasant TEL is running for the Texas
Legislature. Howl he suit
-Earnun1 il married again. :" "Tis true, 'tia
r. T., and ?. T. 'ts It's true"
A literary man was asked in letter, the
other day, for aome materials for hls biography
The writer was very polite aud cousidera.e- Ho
said: Heaven forbid that should desire your
death, bnt such thugs will occasionally occur,
and it is best to be prepared for the worst"
In illustrating tho fruits of advertising. a
Southern paper says: - 4 family in F1orda lost
their little buy. aEd advertised for him in daily
paper. That very afternoon HI alligator crawlcd
up out Of the swamp and died on tho front-door-
step. III his stomach Was found handful Of
red lair. some bone-bnttona, 4 pair OF boot
heels. glass-ailey. a pair Of check~pants, and
paper-collar. The advertisement did it."
mind, and. like many other 4-year-olds, he
looKs after cause and effect in a way peculiar to
himself. The other day the cat caught and ate
cur pet canary-bird. Dicky. greatly to onr sorrow
aud disgust. F1ankio was inconeolnble for
somo time, but, after considering his loss for
awhile, be asked: II say, mamma, hadn't tie
cat ought to sing better now that ehe LES eaten
Dlcky?"
"A gentleman who purchased box OF
peaches recently looked around for boy who
=, $lsrhA
4 ragged lad seated on a bench, eating the last
remnant Of pear. The man asked him II he
wouldn't like to earn 10 cents by carrying the
box to such number aud street. and the boy
promptly replied that he wouldn't. "Whye"
.quericd the man. .'Wny3" echoed tho boy,
head Of the family, and how'd look 1ugglnS
peaches around
"A wag walked into saloon the other day
where three mon wore sitting around tho ti1cless
towards him. Apparently taking mental in
vcnsory at the number Of people IN tho room,
the new conner stepped up to the bar and blandy
ordered four glasses of beer. The boots that
had adorned the top OF the stoys now sought the
floor, three men cleared their mouths Of tobacco.
and all looked At tho bartender rs be filled the
glasses and placed them in row on the bar
When everythin. was ready the three loungers
rose and tho stranger paid for tue beer. Then
starting with the glasses furthest from the door,
ne efnptted all that the bartender haa u!!eo anQ
quickly left the saloon. The three chairs wcra
His.) Ce,1raL
The Detroit Free Press savs that nobody
has written poem on the Fi:ch-Sner.nan mar
rage. on account Of the iEn7ossibiIitJ OF finding
a rhyme for the brides name. On this hunt, our
boy, Dan, speaks:
Oh, send for hrman.
And silence that German,
Or give him to Herman
To hare for perman-
Ent subject Of tricka.
You must 10 uernao.
To make auch stiv, man,
About rhymes to Sherman:
he stouty aver, uan,
Ws'y4 ea.ee Tas ktE-
-,4eA17a ElskA