The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-08-27
Naming the Baby.

Smudge had ransacked various books for a
name, and, as the sixth Of the latest edition OF
Smudge was indicative of toll in the ranks OF
men, as the infant looked strong-almost war
Gke--a great name was the quest of its dis
tracted parents. Mrs S. wanted it named after
some old Bible character Smudge suggested
Samson Goliah, which would typify strength
Mrs. S. leaned to Moses Samuel, emblematical
of weakness.
Smudge had declared that he would expose
the child to the measles before it should be
nick-named Nose or Sam. Then he hinted at
Jonah; but Mrs. S. would listen to no such
monogram. She didn't want her last childs
name connected with fish story! Already
they had named child Haman, and she was
sure that he would be hanged some day. See
ing that no Scriptural name could be agreed
upon she suggested Omega, reminding Smudge
sYou don't call this one Omega" said
Smudge. 'I'll put the name away, and when
we want it Ill let you know. How would
Martin Luther do? ?"
sTm Baptist, I am, Smudge" retorted
Mrs. S., coloring. ~ don't want any Lutheran
names in this house. For your mothers sake,
I allowed one of my children to be called
Jonathan Wesley. She don't poke any
Methodist names on to me again. If Luther
had been a Baptist, the name might do.
There's Roger Williams. Roger Williams
Smudge would sound we'll He could write it
R. Williams Smudge, you see."
"But he never will !" cried the parent, with
determination. "Roger Williams was Bap-
list, and you know, Mrs Smudge, that | don't
lean that way. I'd sooner call him Tom
Paine"
Mrs. Smudge shrieked.
Urni lin, fpon, Paine and TIL kill him be-
fore he's weaned"
'You like Purtans, Mrs. smudgc. Call him
Miles Standish."
"No, sir! don't want my child to grow up
with any such outlandish name. You called
cur second boy Plymouth Rock Smudge, and
that name will kill him before he votes. No
more Puritan names"
sYoure the confoundedeSt particular woman
T ever saw" retorted Smudgc. Gift had been
girl, we would have called her Cleopatra
"No we wouldn't Our fourth girl now
eroans under the name Of Olympia Iarpeia.
II will make her be an old maid Let's COM
promise, Smudge. You like strong name
Goliah, for instance, a Haptlst one. Let's
call the baby Roger W. Goliah omudge."
"Put the Bible name first"
ri won't do itn'
s'Then we'll call him something else
"My fathers name was Joshua Gideon"
meekly suggested Mrs: 5. -,
"What Go care il it was? None OF my chill
aren shall be called after any of yoar relatives.
That's settled Let us fall back on late name
-Garibaldi, for instance"
"Or Bonaparte."
(Which one ?"
"Napoleon the Third"
"No; | won't have him called Napoleon"
'Then you shan't call him bin Garibaldi,D re re,
torted Mrs S, as firmly Hmadge, d S;tb yGu re yn sr
Won't listen to any thing. Pm reasonable
willing to listen to anything you propose
s"Then call the boy Daniel Webster. always
admired the old statesman"
"Our family shant be disgraced by wing
name," said Mrs: Smudge. Lafayette is
Smudpe thought so he was on the eve O
suggesting the name Of the great Frenchmar
himself.
Gle must have middle name"
Lafayette Williams! p said Mrs. 5