Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1874-06-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


THE Tobacco. Chewer's Music---Spit.
tune.
DOLLARS and sense do not necessarily
travel together.
WITHIN year twenty.six vacancies
will occur in the Senate of the United
States.
THE human system has seven millions
of pores and the warm weather will
prove It,
ROME (Ga.) ladies, when they reach
their Tooth year, are serenaded by a CRATE.
full public.
A MAIDEN lady says that if single life is
bad it stands TO reason that double life is
twice as bad.
ARGUMENT in company is generally the
worst sort of conversation, and in books
the worst sort of reading.
A Troy man has right to jerk another
man out of his pew if he finds him there
and is big enough to do it.
THE jaunty little outside pockets worn
with street dresses are TO continue in
fashion throughout the summer.
AN "elopement" is chronicled at
Moscow, KY, in which :" the young lady
was accompanied by her parents"
OREGON is not troubled with grasshop-
pers, but the cheerful cricket makes
good substitute in point of destructive
ness.
CONNECTICUT proposes, instead of estab
fishing an inebriate asylum, to send its
dipsomaniacs to the workhouse from one
to three years.
THE proposition to Introduce ladies as
railroad conductors is frowned upon in
view of the fact that their trains are
always behind.
ANOTHER evidence of hard times is the
fact that the acknowledged "swells" are
wearing artificial rose-buds and pinks in
their button-holes.
THE cheapest thing in the world to ride
is hobby. 1t eats no oats, it demands
no groom, it breaks no traces, and 1t re-
quires no shoeing.
A Missouri paper says: "The velvet
footed assessor has begun his hideous
work, and property is depreciating with
frightful rapidity."
CANAJoHARIE, N. Y, has FIVE ladies
who weigh over 200 pounds each, and
when they all sit down together the jar is
felt all over the town.
THE woman who hit her lord and mas
ter over the head with the family Bible
justified the act by saying she was over
coming evil with good.
THEY call it case of "grave suspi-
cion" when they find man in Virginia
creek, head split open and the body
weighted down with rocks.
Now that the word "hymeneal " is so
commonly used in reference tc weddings,
it is suggested that births be headed
crymeneal," and deaths "diemeneal."
THE maple-sugar season has been an
unusually favorable one on the Western
Reserve, and double the usual amount of
sugar and syrup has been manufactured.
THE first Protestant church built on
the Pacific coast of America from Cape
Horn to Behring's Straits was put up by
the Methodists at Oregon City, Oregon, in
1912
BOSTON encourages woman's aspirations
to take active part in the diffusion of in
tellectual civilization by patronizing a
female newspaper carrier aged eighty
eight.
GETTING up iii the night to give the
baby dose of soothing-syrup is not what
one cares about, but it's hitting fellows
nose on the half-o 9en door that corrugates
his feelings.
SOME wretch is telling people chow to
grow fat" just as every one is becoming
willing to shed ten or twenty pounds
avoirdupois to cheat the summer solstice
of its terrors.
THE cash deposits in the Helena (Mont.)
banks were probably never greater than
at present. In the burglar proof safes of
a single one of them there is $540, 900
currency deposits.
A LADY near Peoria has set out on the
mission TO have the name of the United
States changed to Columbia. That is
small undertaking compared with max
ing a bed.quilt composed of 469,S14
pieces.
BENJAMIN FRANRLIN's autograph has
reached Michigan, and it makes one feel
lonesome to see tears trickling down the
cheeks of aged ladies as they gaze upon
the venerable relic, written on paper
mede in 1869.
SHAD have been uncommonly plentiful
this season, and are selling at uncom-
monty low prices. A good one weighing
four pounds could have been bought to-
day at the ferry way for twenty-five cents,
the old. time price for thirty-five years
ago. Larger ones command ten cents a
pound. The price will have an upward
tendency next week.-HGrJ0rd Conn.,
Times.
"TDEs are hard, money is scarce, bust
ness is dull, retrenchment is a duty
please stop my" Whisky? oh, no;
times are not hard enough for that. But
here is something else that costs me a
large amount every year, which l wish
to save. Please stop my" Tobacco and
cigarsS "No, no, not these; but l must
retrench somewhere; please stop my"
Ribbons, jewels, ornaments and trinkets ?
Mot at all; pride must be fostered, if
ever so hard; but 1 believe 1 can see
way to effect quite saving in another
direction-please stop my" Tea, coffee
and needless and unhealthy luxuries?
No, no, no, not those. l must think of
something else. All have it now. My
paper costs So year, must save that.
Please stop my paper That will carry
me through the panic easily. believe
in brains. s."-BdptiSt WGtctmGn.