The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-07-22
Crumbs,

AL iilaiandpollS QOS goes mac
when, he hears q piano played, buf
there's hundreds of men who do tht
same thing.
The Peoria woman who wanted
to throw herself into her husband
grave o few months ago has just
married a lightning-rod man.
Down in Kentucky the traveller
hears fond husbands say: "Come
darling, come in and get dinner, o.
I'll mash yer old red-head with {
club"
81 am not much for shtump spa
kim" declared a candidate 'but TO,
honesty and capacity and integrity
/ bate the diYil-so I do
North Carolina is the State, af
ter all. Buttermilk will keep sweet
thirty-six straight hours, and straw
berries walk right up to be bridIed.
-Editinga paper is like carrying
an umbrella on windy day. Every
body thinks he could manage it bet
ter chan the one who has hold of the
handle. ....-
Prof. Watson says that there is
never more than million stars il
sight at once, but it will be safe tc
count 'em before swallowing the
statement.
No State but Massachusetts
could hold summer session of the
Legislature, but there the members
are too lean to sweat, and too stingy
if they were not too lean.
-"Matrimony," says modern
Benedict produces remarkable revo.
buttons. Here I am, for instance, in
q few months, changed from a signing
lover to loving sire" s-
An Arizona girl shot her lover
and then nursed him tenderly till he
died. His last words were. III for
give you, Susan; you did it with an
ivory handled pistol"
Frogs have appeared in vast
numbers at Lone Tree, Neb. The
Courier says that hundreds are crush
ed by wagons on the streets, and that
people can not step without treading
upon them.
Some one who was talking to M.
Theirs about the state of France
Don't say France" interrupted the
veteran statesman, "call it Duchy
of Magenta" Which was malicious
but good.
j clasped her tiny hand in mine;
vowed to shield her from the wind
and the worlds cold storms. She set
her beauteous eyes on me, and with
her little lips she said-"An umbrel-
Ia will do as well.'
Kate Field says she goes On to
the stage simply to get physical ex-
crcise, as sedentary life is killing her.
Physicians say that raking in three
hundred dollars a night has ten
dency to build up the tissue.
Sarah Briggs (reading the local
"Sakes alive? Iwould no more name
q child Alias than nothin' in the
world. They're allurs cuttin' up
some caper. Here's Alias Thomp-
son, Alias Williams, Alias the Night
Hawk, all been took up for stealing.
An individual lately committed
suicide in q Partisan Hotel. His
headless body was found in his room
together with letter containing the
following bewildering statement: II
was bored, and I have killed myself.
Let no one be accused of my death.
DO not look for my head; l have hid
den it myself in order not to be rec
Ognized."
Address by a Detroit judge: off
it wasn't for your children, I'd put
you where the coach dogs couldn't
'bite You. Pm going to let you 60
this time for their sakes, but look
out for me in future. If that phys
iognomy ever peeps over this desk at
me again, you'll think I'm a pile dri-
yer and you are mouse. Trot out
of here, and don't tarry to see what
becomes of the rest.
The Paris Figaro contains
sensational mention of Mile. Croi-
zctte, who is performing in the
Sphinx at the Theater Francois. In
the enactment of her character in the
play she assumes to poison herself,
and dies upon the stage-a persona
ton which she is said to perform
with such truthfulness to nature as
to call forth long comments i'll the
daily press. One physician comes