Omaha daily bee., 1874-06-01

married a st. Louis duck last week.
boston Post.
-Balzac said any man can
marry any woman, and we believe
it since a pretty girl in Springfield,
Ohio, married a man named Pop
cock.
"A Missouri paper. publishes
marriage notices free, but charges
heavily for obituaries. 1t believes
in weddings, and wants to discour-
age death.
The Pennsylvania clergyman
who offered twenty cords of wood
for a good wife, evidently fOrgets
that chords of affection would bet
ter accomplish his desire.
A Kansas girl wouldn't be
married without a yellow ribbon
around her waist, and a boy rode
eight miles to get it while the
guests waited.
In Vermont, last year, there was
One divorce to every nineteen mar
riages, and some curious individual
is laying awake nights to discover
why that nineteenth couple got
married.
The Chicago Post and Mail says:
1.-THE latest instance of the repre-
hensible custom of pairing off in
Congress is that of Representative
Omar ID. Conger, of Michigan. He
was married yesterday"
1t was the Detroit Free Press that
gives publicity to the fact that
Maria Lovejoy, of FOn du Lac, is
now pushing her fourth breach of
promise suit, and the railroad has
had to put an extra train on for the
benefit of young men who want to
get out of that town.
One of the rules Of the Order of
Enoch is that all girls, on reaching
the age of fourteen, must get mar
ried. There is to be no deviation
from this, and the first offer, no
matter how many wives the man
may have, o how ugly he may be,
the girl must accept his hand.
According to the Green Bay
(Wis.) Advocate they have an i'm
proved method of making responses
i'm the marriage ceremony at OcOn-
to. On a recent occasion a man
whose mind was somewhat obfusti-
Gated by an injury he had received,
was married, and in reply to the
all-important question "Will you
take this woman to be your law
fully welded wife ~ replied, ayes,
and the cow and the heifer, and
they ought to be fed" This an
swer was regarded as satisfactory.
One of the most beautiful speci-
mems of floral workmanship was a
ship of flowers presented to a bride
who sailed from New York last week
in one of the Cunard steamers. II
was four feet long and eight feet
high. The masts we're gaily decked
out with silk flags, and the sails
were of white satin. The smoke
stack was of red pasteboard lin ex-
| act imitation of the Cunard steam
ers), and on deck were chairs and
benches of evergreen. Above all,
on a spiral, was a live dove. The
cost Of this floral ship was $500.
The Portland (Me.) Press relates
the following: ga few days since a
young couple registered their inten-
tons to be married at the City
Clerks office. The clerk recorded
their names in due form, gave them
a little of that excellent advice OF
which he has so bountiful a store,
and pocketed the fee. Yesterday
the intending woman told a friend
that she was married and living
with her husband. On cross
examination she described the
ceremony that the clerk
went through when she
was, as she supposed, united to
her true-love i'm the bonds of matri-
mony. At this recital she was in
formed that she had only been
Registered and could not be mar
ried until she received her certifi-
cate. This made troubled in the
young woman's mind, and she at
once started for her brevet husband
and broke the awful intelligence to
him. He was thunderstruck, and
the once happy couple are debating
what to do about it,"
A correspondent gives the New
ton On. H. Register an account OF
a recent wedding ceremony i'm Wal
pack township, near Flatbrookville,
that State, which was somewhat in
this way: A young woman of that
vicinity had become enamored with
a youth of Pennsylvania birth, who
had been living i'm Saltwater town.
ship for some time. Desiring to get
0'spliced," they offered a certain
local preacher, living near by, S. to
do the job. He informed them,
with many regrets, that he was
unauthorized to perform the
ceremony. They then dis
patched a messenger for a cor
pulent Squire, residing in the
Flatbrook valley, who agreed to
come and marry them. Shortly af-
ter he arrived, the mother of the
would -be-bride, who had been alb
sent from home, returned and dis
covered the situation. Selling q
piece of board three or four feet long
and six inches wide, she proceeded
to belabor all parties concerned.
She drove her daughter to the gar
ret, and her would be-son-in-law
out of doors. The SQUIRE
then commenced to e~xpostulate
with the excited woman, when the
sprang toward him, and told him to
leave. He obeyed the command,
but when he reached the middle of
the road he told the sorrowing par
ties to come to him, and he would
make them one. This still further
enraged the mother, and she
charged upon the Squire, and
forced him to flee homeward. Later
in the day, the disappointed bride
and groom yer seen together
weeping and bewailing the
state of affairs. The re-
suit of this conference was
that early the next morning they
presented themselves before the
Squire in his barn-yard. He asked
them to go to the house, but having
learned wisdom from experience,
they declined, stating that they de-
sired to be married On the spot, be-
fore the brides mother should be
out on the warpath. Without fur
ther delay the twain We're made
- H. oHlxr lsrsnn u-;fnocco. A1:.-