The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-05-06

MUM chrome for every tooth 4
draws. e., ~, .
Mr.. Barnum.has offered one tho
sand dollars for the :'nineteen bricks
Alonzo Dante Arnold Butler is Il
name of an Illinois poot Of the. CT
saGe. 81.
81, A Georgia editor was bitten BY
dog, "being evidently mistaken for
5 bone" ".,...':'. ..."
e The Brooklyn Aryus is Of opinio
that a kind word will 80 farther tina
aat-ir0n'
The editor of the New Berlin Ga
ssette: wants to trade his Midland rail
road stock for an old setting hen.
IA Western paper announces tn,
death Of lady celebrated for thu
tt.purity of her character and com
plexion." ,... .. i: pee.
1 o, bother cremation! We have te
earn our living--and we don't want
to be compelled to urn our dead. -:
q A Conrinn'ecticu6 horsc-thief swappcd
o fine animal for y couple Of copper
watches. No inflated currency tol
him: :,...:-.
A man writing POLITICALLY of the
weather says: "The backbone Of win
ter is broken, but it's tail wags yet
occasionally %. ,... 49, j..
: Some ambitious Cincinnation wants
thaSeity to be known rs the modern
ATHENS, probably because Of her too
much Greece. =:
! The New Orleans crusaders an
nounce that the horn Of the ungodly
shall be put down. That is whero
horns are generally put. ..
! The Dan5ury News man says that
there is nothing that will change L
man SO much as great grief, uuless it
is shaving off his mustachc.
! A custom house man writes that he
has heard ladies' Of refinement, wealth.
position and education lie q customs
officer oat of eountenancc. .-.,.
The Ohio Legislature has introduced
n bill fixing D fine Of from, five to
fifty dollars for pointing any kind Of
firearms at person, loaded Or Gun
ss,saessA 49,
Butler will be ffty-six years old
next November. The proposal to
make the anniversary Of his birth a
day of national fasting and prayer
,excitcs much enthusiasm.
Inscription on tombstone in 90
lumbia, Tennessee: "Escaps1 the
'suhets of the enemy to beesssassina-
ted by cowardly pupza kind hus-
band, an affectionatsfathcr."
A Chicago gsfflcman who recently
travelled Though Ohio says everybody
he met called potatoes Maters," ex-
cep5one young lady, who called him
"small pertateEp I
An English Jndgc, BaronAldcrson,
onsbeing. asked to:give hisEepinion as
to the proper ioagth of . sermon, re-
piled, aTwenty slinutes, with.a lean;
ing TO tho side Of mercy. ):
AN exchange asks: aIs there anys|
thing that man cannot do?".: Toi
which DR.. Wood, Of the Glasgow, Ky.,I
Times, replies :ssaY es, sir; we have
never known onS suck'o baby"
Sixteen years ago Tom Koayonr
went to Kansas CITY witha cent? land
the other day he signed check for
sixteen thousand dollars lie signed
with another mau's'namc, Aowcvsr.
. The Chicago TriJans prints q poem
in which the writes wishes that she
had "a heart full of sweet ycarlings.
How the persccuted author must have
ycarned to tumble among that COM
positof's hair: !. ...,. .
Twenty-Five freshmen wcro lately
from an English college
BECAUSE a professor couldn't find out
who placed a ten-ounce tack in his
chair. He, however, knew all about
Who sat down on it. =,
Type-setters should be. careful to
lip their fingers into the right boxes.
)ut West an editor has been sued for
ibel, in having published that GER
ain Mr.. Harrison, was n well-known
The defence of the
,ditor is that he wrote horse. se.brsakcr,
which the plaintiff is by occupation.
ssNothing," said an inpatient hus-
band, reminds mo SO much Of Ba.
aam and his ass rs two women stop
ping in church and obstructing the
way to indulge in their everlasting|
talk" "But you forget, DEAR" re-
turned the wife, n.eokly, "that it was
The angel who stepped the way, and
Balaam and bis ass who complained
Of it," 'i'' -: q.
4 young man who left Brooklyn
;hree years ago to "go West and grow
lp," has just been heard from. He
writes home to his friends, from Ida
10, saying that the country is the
most beautiful the sun ever shone on,
md the inhabitants the most social
le ever met. Also, that be expects
o be hanged in fourteen days Rrt
tealing o mule. !