The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-04-17
Not Handy i'm the House.
HOW CUTTER EMBALMED HIS WIFE AND
WHAT CAME OFT.


and pretty much everything in our vii
lage-was reading out loud from one OF
the papers about buying dead corpses
The editor didn't hold with burying OF
them, and said that burning or embal-
ming was the proper thing. When Slo-
cum had got through he said: "Well,
there's Mr.. Cutter, now; he knows all
about embalming." And then he says
to me, " Gale" my given name is Caleb
" Cale," says he,, you, We had experience
IN embalming, haven't yOum Says /,
" By gosh should rather think / had y
= His remark set me thinking, and that's
how it comes round that I'm writing my
experience TO you. It's all very wen for
people to talk about embalming deceas-
ed corpses, but it's the Christian duty Of
those that have tried it, and found what
a plague they are, to expose the hollow
ness of an embalmed corpse. I've tried
it, and there isn't the least particle OF
comfort in the thing.
1t happened this way. My wife died
three years ago. Died very sudden, too.
1t was something about her liver. There
is great deal of liver complaint that
people don't know of. There was my
wife's cousin who came to visit at our
house ten years ago. He thought he
had the rheumatism, but knew better.
Hank" I1 says = = !; You've got the liver liver
Dan f in HoM lis 'fn nsn hfGe Ter TsG qem
/, "can break out anywhere. I know
liver complaint when I see it, and you've
got it," Well, I convinced him after
awhile, and he took to taking some liver
pills. disremenber the name of them
just now. 1twas only two years after
wards that he could walk as straight as
So you see was right.
AS Was saying, my wife died. was
fond of her, as any man
ought to be whose wife was an orphan,
and could bake the most beautiful pies
in our section of country. She died ON
Monday, and that evening, as | was sit
ting on the piazza along came DR.. Sabin.
Most likely you know the doctor. A
smart man but, as you say, little too
fond Of the intoxicating element. I
knew him when he was in the army. He
was not an army surgeon, but he was in
the embalming business. Whenever he
would getia good paying cOrpseh he'd come
over to my tent--I was regimental sut-
ler-and drink whisky in a way that was
really disheartening. Why, I've charged
chat man five dollars drink, just to try
10 exert a good influence over him, but
ned drink and drink so long as he'd got
! cent left.
Well, ! hadn't seen the, doctor since
The war, and was really glad to meethim
again. He was looking very bad, and
vas pretty well used up. He sat down and
old me what q streak OF bad luck he'd
lim job. Now, you see, I wanted to
lelp him along for the sake of old times,
Dut the more thought the less I could
zee my way. ALI of asudden happened
10 think about the embalming business,
md j says to him, Have you done any
lately an J" No, y says he IS for |
he reason that deceased eorpses are all
1uried nowadays. only wish / could |
ret one that the friends wanted to pre-
erve,n says he; " By gosh" says - /
an give you q job now, right off, en-
,alming my wife. She's laid ont up
tairs at this very minute Done |
ays the doctor. " And I'll make the |
,rettiest job out of her you ever saw
,et." + 0se
You see, wanted to puta little money |
q an old friend pocket, and then cal |
ulated the job would cost a good deal
ess than q regular funeral The coffin |
would naturally be a dead loss, since it |
lad been ordered, and as it wouldn't fit
ny of tie children, who were small /
nough to roll all around in it, couldn't
'ut it to any profitable use. Still en-
aiming her was cheaper than burying |
er, So told the doctor to go ahead and
10 his best.la
Wen, it turned out as handsome a
orpse as ever saw. was real proud
fit. Her features were natural, though |
he was so well done that she sounded
lst like piece of st0newOrk when You
apped her with q hammer or anything
Ike that. paid the doctor $40 and he
tent away contented, and took my
,ife and set her up in the dining-room
lst between the windows.
Here my trouble began. The neigh
Ors began to find fault, and said show
d q sad want OF feeling in setting her
p in the dining room and showing of
er TO everybody that came in. couldn't
Dr. the sake of avoiding strife and con-
sntion, Imoved her into the back hall
fter some of the young men had begun
j talk about getting up a subscription
} buy gallon of tar.
Things went along well enough for a
lille, when one day | found that the
aildren had got her into the back yard,
nder tent, and was exhibiting her for
cent a sight to all the children In town.
just confiseated the money and gave
II BOYS O. good thrashing. Spoil d
lare child with the rod, J" says Solomon,
and when he is old he won't depart
'om it. That's always been my motto,
nd try to live mp to it. i put her up
the spare chamber this time and lock-
/ her in. That night heard tremen-
Ous fall upstairs, and in the morning
lere was my wife fallen over into the IS
and all the crockery smashed
pieces. Shed broke off her nose and |
ae ear besides, and do my best could
ot stick them on again with glue or,
lything. She always did stand very ;
cklish, and I often regretted that +
admit asked the doctor to run a pound |
two of lead in her feetjust to keep her !
ght side up. "a
After this / slowed her up in the gar
it, but couldn't get q hired girl to stay
the place on account of her. / Thought
lie time I'd trade her to Barnun1, but
to mention it to some of the
.lks in town, they convinced me that
wouldn't be wise. 1 always did hate
sorder and violence.
The last thing [ did was to put her out
the eornfeld last spring, where she
ould be useful in keeping away crows,
id looked real attractive besides. But
Ie neighbors made another row, and
lad to put her in the barn.
I'd bury her gladly, only split up the j
fin for ffTeW0Od, and itsee1ns extrava-
int now to 60 and buy d coffin for q !
lrpsc that's been dead for going on
rec years, while there are so many | /
f11n oa1kSnrfc FIR 1ra1gt nf