The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-06-06
CREAMOF OUR EXCHANGES.


bane of our life, and we (Becmus) fecllike "hea'
ing brick" at the monster wherever 1t sllch
up its hldeous head. Here is poetry about II
which we gladly insert:
Beauty has charms, for which she nights
At ease with winning arms;
The women who want Woihals iISh''
Want mostly womans charms
The "bhoys" of Freeport now wear long %hit'
vests and shirt collars droopln@ aI IN 'nSS ~
forty five degrees and invaribly part thcii Hah
in the middle FrtspoH Bulletin
Here they do all this and go the freepor'
sweIls one better, by gluing a small patch OF
black leather between threcfourths OF All men
ond one and an eighth of an inch southeast u
the outer corner of the left eye
The Worcester Press speaks of co'emporary
who hires small boy to come IN AZ nv vs. a.. az
with step.ladder and dust OH thc 'op' VI ms
ears.-Er.
This a refined way of calling man don
key
"Dried tongue" was the answer which min
lister, Just going out "eNehanSI' S"tG W 49,,
one who asked him what he had in his carpet
bag-wbich contained seven sermons.-EI,
Tho no+roit Free Press claims for that city the
distinction of being the only city in the country
where Nilsson doesn't own corner lou.
She doesn't own here 2, which makes B.
81 Paul seems to have held cremation among
the higher Christian virtues, as witness: "And
thouph bestow all my goods to feed the poor
snd though give my body 10 be turned, and have
not charity, II prOftcth me nothing,"-l Cor'"-
Njdns Tii, 3.
As fast as the foods along the Mississippi sub.
side the wicked planters resume the raising OF
cane.--GrdpIH
Lace bandkerchicfs are now soaked in coffee
dried and then vanished with the white of eggs
After the operation the handkerchief looks like
a dish-rag, but dsh,rags of this kind are now
very fashionable.
So far, thus
BrCOLIC.
In the spring, the spurs grow longer on the
gaudy ROSTERS legs;
In the spring pullet's fancy lightly turns to
thoughts Of csgs.-.St Louis Democrdt
AQUATIC.
In the spring. the yernal bubber ripens in the
Furnished whale:
In the spring, tadpoles fancy lightly turns to |
thought Of tail Minneapolis Tribune
IN the spring tn umbrella owner gins to wonder
which is his
In the spring the soda fountain lightly turns to
thoughts OF fizz.-B0Ston G'OJe
DOMESTIC
In the spring, the yagrant tom-cat howls with
more discordant cry;
In the spring, the housewives fancy turns to
thoughts ofrhubarb pie.-BoSton .ad'ertiser. |
CoNvIvIAL.
In the spring the pensive cocktail gins to shed |
In the spring, the toIcr's fancy lightly turns to
thoughts Of beer.-Chjcdgo Times.
PIsCAToRIAL.
In the spring the angling fever scizes son and
daughter,
And the little fishes gaily waggle-their talses
in tho water,
wedding of the period took place at Hcnne- |
pin last week with poftentous augurs for the fu
ture, The bride came alone, took out a warrant |
for the groom, took him into court and proceed |
ed to marry him, he not daring to resist. Who
now is safeg
An aurst is going around the country lcc;ur.
ing on the cultivation of the ear. He docs not
say when is the best time to pull it.
The funniest thing on the street this month is
the appearance Of a sharp nose6 woman in the
bonnet Of the period and Il mask veil. The lat
ter article hangs over the tip OF the wearers nose
with all the grace Of an umbrella covering over
q broken rib-EI.
huu W blis q huNl AZ but Woulu HuNS w
adopt after sitting down few seconds on red
ho. stove, and YOU have the gushing girl of the
period.
A New Jersey undertaken Offers specially ad- |
yantage00s terms to persons getting up clubs
kr.
A chrome prize wouldn't be q bad dodge for
the Ottawa grave aiggers. Say they dig graves
Tor SIN 1t & time and throw In valuable chrome
and plug OF tobacco. We commend this as IN
experiment worthy to be tried.
The Louisville Courier Journal remarks that il
is impossible TO FAY whether or not Chicago is n
hard piece TO earn an honest living in, as there
if no assurance that the things has ever been
tried.
Prof Smith said, In Iectgre in Philadelphia
last week, that FILTRATION is sometimes assisted
by the use of albumen;n but the compositor got
the remark into shape in this fashion "Flirta.
ton is sometimes arrested by the use of alder
men"
To show the delicate degree Of refinement to
which science reduces things We note the fol-
lowing,
When the celebrated French chemist, Orhla,
was on one occasion witness at trial for pos.
Onlng, he was asked by the president II he could
state the quantity of arsenic requisite to kill n
fly. Certainly, NJ le President" replied the ex-
pert; but must know beforehand the age Of
the NY, Its sex, its temperament its condition
and habit Of body, whether married or single,
widow or maiden, widower or bachelor
The Macomb Granger mentions the suicide of
Mr.. Evans, and says "he was discovered by his
daughter lying dead behind counter" Mock
PLANTATION is given OF how the young lady hap
pened to be lying dead behind the counter.
young man vas fined $40, in Connecticut
last week, Tor shaking his handkerchief at a
young lady, The Judge, in passing sentence.
remarked that II was fortunate circumstance
that the young lady had shaken hers at him first
or De would have seat him up for three months
There's nothing like persistency. John Couch
was married in Philadelphia the other day 10 a
girl who had refused him eighteen times. She
wanted TO see If he really loved her.
California editor has bought mule, and a