Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-11-26
ny Foolish Fingers.
BY UNCLE ALBERT.

BY UNCLE ALBERT.
The fingers on one of my hands had
quarrel the other day; at least
1t seems they thought / was asleep, ani
took the chance to pitch into one an
other.
The first noticed OF it there was a
general connection, and the middle anC
ring fingers were pushing each Other
very spitefuliy. Iiach of them wanted
all the room.
"Now you just stand aside" said
Mr.. Middle "Im the longest and big
est, and have the best right here. You
are always sticking yourself up and
getting IN the way. III have you un-
derstand that the middle of the hand is
all mine, and if you know when it's
good for you, you'll keep away"
At this Mrs. Ring was so indignant
she could not speak, and Mr.. Fore
Finger, jumping up in great furry,
shouted
"No, you don't either, you insolent
fellow Mrs. Ring and I aun down
into the middle just as much as you do,
and, putting us together, we occupy
more OF the middle than you do. Ii
you don't behave yourself we will take
you in hand together and give
you such thrashing as you never had.
You are a great oyergrown lubber,
good for nothing but TO get in the way
of better people"
At this Mr.. Fore stretched himself
up as high as he could beside his
neighbor, while Mr.. Middle looked
down on him with great contempt, and
said sneeringly
"Out upon yoni You ere SO much
of nobody that l never think of you
except when I want to touch Thumb for
some great business, and then there
you are, blunderirg around in the
way"
"Humph retorted Mr.. Fore,
"pretty talk. indeed. Mrs. Ring and
have been in love these years, and we
can't enjoy each others company for
you and your impudence."
Here these two drew back as If pre-
pairing for a fight In doing so Mr..
Middle crowded Mrs. Ring so that she
cried out:
"You are pretty fellows, to be sure.
/ abhor you both. wouldn't condo
scend to associate with either of you.
Haven't / always wore the wedding
ring because / am directly connected
with the heart? Iheard my owner read
ing about it to-day, and now do you sup.
pose I'll have anything to do with either
of you low-bred fellows ? / Just wish
you would fight SO as TO pull each other
out by the roots, and then I'd be clea,
of you and have it all to myself, the
only proper way for a lady of my blood
and next 10 the heart r.
At this speech Miss Little Finger
quivered all over as she fairly screamed
"I guess there's somebody in the
world beside you, Mrs. Ring. You are
the meanest, most conceited thing
ever saw. There is no getting along
with you, you put on so many silly airs
Just because some Ounce used to think
you were closer connected to the heart
than the rest of us. I'll have you under
stand I've just as much to do with the
heart as you. And more than that, I'm
nicer and prettier than you. You are
too big for lady. I'm just as graceful
and nice as can be. Everybody admires
me. They stick the wedding ring on
you just because you are so homely as
to need something to makeyou passable
I'm handsome enough without it"
By this time each of the four fingers
was mad at all the other three, anG
stood of as much as it could, looking
funny enough. I don't know that they
ever would nave come together again
In the world if it had not been for Mr.
Thumb. He stood up very still and
dignifed, and said in deep bass voice
very slowly, and with a good deal of &
sneer:
"Well, well, you are four of the shall
lowest fools ever saw. Got up a reg
ular family fight about nothing. Nv,
half mind to give you all a good drub
bling. I'd like to know what any on,
of you would do alone. You'd cut .
pretty figure wouldn't you, floppin,
around IN the air with no one to LEAF
on"
"Shut upr' they all cried together
seeming to forget their differences il
common opposition to Uncle Thumb
"Shut up. You've no business med
ding in our affairs. You don't belon,
to our family. You are not O finger a
all, but thumb. Nature set you ava,
off by yourself because you are not q
70 be in goedcompany, you short, clum
81 old stump, your
"All right, said Uncle Thumb, cool
ly; "I'm glad don't belong to you
family If you keep up this kind of
rumpus all the time. I'm an old bach
elor and can get along alone-shove m,
own way through the world. But
guess you'd all wish me back if I wer
gone; you seem to make good deal O
me, anyway"
Now it seemed to me that the bes
way to stop this quarrel for good was t
let each one of the very independen
folks try to do some common thin
alone. So l told my thumb to pick q
pin. The fingers all agreed the
wouldn't help him, but would see ho'
he made out alone. Thumb made div