The Wichita city eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1872-1883, 1874-09-24
For The EAGLE.
A Little More Grasshopper.

For The EAGLE.
A Little More Grasshopper.
1t would be highly gratifying in
these hard times to receive diploma,
or even silver washed tea sctt at tho
coming fair, but the prospect is rather
dubious, for the drouth and grasshop-
pers have cleft we 'uns" little TO cx-
hibit. Nevertheless there are plenty
of cornstalks, goodly patch Of mel
ons and cucumber vines (minns leaves,
also a plot of ground covered with
rusty, struggling stems, which with
sublime faith in the unseen we call
peach-blaus, though the most energetic
grabbing ihereabout, has failed TO
discover gary later" Besides there
is quantity of sorghum rather back
ward. and little of that healthy Civ
ing "yerb," Ricunns major, ditto,
and this collection is all we have to
base any expectations upon, with the
exception of cabbage-hsad of moder-
ate dimensions, which the writer will
exhibit, if able to be OIL the grounds.
| in person. But that everlasting Gear
of coru with row Of kernels all
'ronud the cob" will not put in an APP
pearance this year, as the row does
not extend half way around, for
cause see grasshopper. Seriously,
there are many long faces, for it is diff
| fcult to wear even semblancc OF
cheerfulncss. when the prairie is shOrn
of nearly everything but grass, and
there seems to be no other alteration
than to subsist on the fare of Nebuch-
adnezzar. What terrible fascination
the picture of that .raminivarous king
used to possess for our childish eyes.
There was his majesty down on all
four''-a la Darwin's great grandfath-
er-"pickcted out" with horrible log
chain, and Gercely "gorgin' hisself' as
poor little Oliver Twist did once upon
time. lie was sort of human
grasshoppcr himself. only he could not
hop to any great extent on account OF
his chain. Between meals, while
chewing his cud-excuse me-rumin-
a,ing probably he was obliged to put
| up his own hay for winter, and when
| it was nicely stacked and he flattered
himself that he could live through the
winter, if any body could, his hens
could suddenly ascertain that there
was not such another nice place in all
Babylon to lay eggs in, and if boys
were boys in those days, his'n, under
pretext of hunting eggs, would climb
and slide, pitch and tumble, turn fip-
| flaps and in short. do their utmost to
scatter that hay to the four corners OF
the earth. suppose his loving wife
| used to sit on the back-door steps re-
| ealing herself, and the children with
no end of ice cream aud cookies, and
smilingly observing her lord and mas
ter as he gamboled, and capered about
the yard now and then gnashing his
teeth in impotent rage, when an I'M
usually sharp blade Of grass laid his
lip open, or his already bleeding hands
| and knees were cruelty lacerated by
fragments of old lamp chimneys, pat
ent medicine bottles and the like,
which careful housewives deposit in
such phases for safe keeping. How
very aggravating it must have been,
to be sure.
Wei think we are having hard time
now, but it ought to make us very
qniet and patient, when we remember
poor "king Neb'
We remember Napoleon'S message
after little prince what's his names
"baptism of fire." yet ten to one, that
ambitious youth was not in half as
much actual danger as any farmers
bow, who works i'm corn field in
grasshopper time with the frisky "var-
mente" pelting him right and left,
with as much delight as little ''Lo"'
feels when captive is running the
gauntlet. Notwithstanding Anacrc-
on's penchant for writing of love.
wine and races, lie condeccnded to
turn aside from his usual course, and
waste little sentiment on the grass
hopper. Romantic old simpleton, l
wish he had to eat one! Guess he
never had his corn and things trim
ed, till each stock resemblcd super
animated umbrella skeleton. In an
interesting conversation on the sub
ject Of grasshoppers, celtic acquainf-
ance remarked animatedly: They're
bigger nor a burrud: sometimes
ketches 'em and pulls their legs off,
When these limbless insects are OBJ
served they will serve rs another vim
dication of the theory of natural Sc
lection, and thus the cause of sci
ence (?l will have been advanced by
the DER playful acts of an obscure in
dividual. Talk about Sheridan's raid
through the valley of the Shenandoah
or Shermau's March TO the Sea-
) why they were mere pleasure excur.
sions, causing far less devastation 10
the surrounding country, than the in.
cur.ions of these marauding birds Of
passage. Ii is very discourging &c
lose so many weeks ofhard labor, and
if only had money enough to buy q
little farm back in old 'Indianny," OF
Illinois, would just-stay where | am
and try again. The very men who
left those states because chinch bugs
or cut worms destroyed their crops
are selling their farms for a song, "a
grasshopper's song at that and rush
ing back helter-skil,er. How is one to
know what to do? I'm in a quandry,
and 'in a multitude of counselors there
is safety" Here is farmer Grumble,
who over fretfully aud somewhat mas.
ally withal, They never fail to raise q
crop in Illinois," and when our Kansas
zephyrs get unusually high, or his pigs
get out, or his wife wants new dress
he don't want any more Kansas in
his" He lost all his corn, but has a
fine crop of wheat, and | don't sup
pose anything would induce him TO
leave the state. Still Others sound the
praises of Indiana, and though retain