Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-22

Adams wife sold out, and was
obliged to leave.
Cucumbers and collie are in order
now.
The collections for the Washing
ton monument pay the t%reasurer's
salary every year.
Weston is a man from the hum
BILE walks in life. He walks for
wages at poultry shows.
Buffalo raises the wind to a large
extent by the manufacture of bel
lows.
The Gar intimates that he ar
rested young Nick because he was
playing the old Nick generally.
Somebody calls Sergeant Bates a
sublime jack-ass. He is only a flag
rant one
A Troy man shot a fellow for try
ing to run away with his wife. The
Troy man was probably mad be-
cause the fellow did not succeed.
The Memphis Register proposes
TO inaugurate Alaska as a penal set
Element by offering up Brooks, of
Arkansas, as the initial criminal.
There is a new ballad entitled,
"Oh, Speak No More" but singu-
larry enough it is not dedicated to
George Francis Train.
A Missouri paper says: "The vel
vet-foOted assessor has begun his
hideous work, and property is de-
preciating with frightful rapidity."
"Now that Sickles has been pre-
sented to the Queen, what will she
do with him?" tasks an exchange.
Sell him to the Changers, perhaps.
A nice little party has been I'M
earthed at Mantle. Connecticut.
Five Indian skeletons, sitting i'm one
grave, found around a succo-
fash kettle.
Two burglars In Illinois worked
half the night to blow open a safe,
and then found, with infinite dis
gust, that it was unlocked and
empty.
The Countess Of Paris has a thin
nose. Since these things are so, all
female Paris is pinching its nose,
and going to bed with plppers on
its nOstrils.
DWELL, Sambo, what's yer up to
nowadays" 40, / is a carp'ner
and jiner." "Hey l guess you is.
What department ?" "Why 1 does
de circ'lar work |; / turns de grind
G'wayw
A wide-awake, observant place
is ElkO, Nevada. The people there
are trying to find out who surrep-
titiOusly hanged an Indian squaw
the other morning from the flag
staff on the sidewalk in front of the
Chamberlain Hotel in the most pop
ulOus thoroughfare of the town.
Some men never lose their pres
ence of mind. In Milwaukee a
man threw his mOther-in-law out
the window from a fifth story of
a burning building and Gifted up
+enderly" a feather bed, which he
down stairs safely in his
arms.
An enraged garden proprietor at
Lincoln threw a missile with vio-
ence at q flock Of unsuspecting and
much engaged fowls. The billet
'ame nowhere near the bills of the
chickens, but a local editor had to
,ut all his knowledge of lodging
ntO practice to prevent a serious
'ase of mistaken identity. The ed
tor undoubtedly should have re-
'eived the blow, for there can be no
question of his being q horrible
cratcher.
They tell a queer story about the
loctors in a certain Texas town,
Who were all away last summer to
lttend q medical convention. They
we're absent about two months, and
n their return found all their pa
tents had recovered, the drug stores
losed, the nurses had opened dane.
ng schools, the cemetery was cut
.to building lots, the undertakes
lad gone to making fiddles, and the
'sarse had been painted and sold
or a circus wagon.
Territorial Enterprise awe
ont know who he is, but we yes.
erday overheard the following frag-
nents of conversation in regard to
i'm; and quite confident that he is
resident Of our city. His Admirer
Hes q very fine, liberal gentle
he plays blue chips.' Pres
Admirer-Does hep His
Admirer-sO yes; he sets 'em in
Ugh when he's got the money.
les, he's a fine, liberal gentleman
Admirer-tNo doubt. J
low he's the kind of man to know. |,
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