Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-01-08
miscellaneous.


.Josb Billings says, very truly: YOU'D
better not know SO much, than to know
so many things that amt So"
Don't put yourself out on my ac-
count" as the engine said to the fire.
What is the difference between a
taller and a jeweler? One watches
cells. and the other sells watches.
Two Pittsburg surveyors have found
a tract of land in that city worth Sl4,-
600. 900 which has never been properly
entered.
Kansas reports prairie chickens "diri
cheap."--ten cents apiece.
Some of the French papers advise
the drowning of criminals convicted
of capital offenses.
A new York paper says that a bald
headed man will marry three times to
any other mans once, all things being
even.
"He was a good man." says an Iowa
paper of a deceased citizen, ''but then
he sometimes bet on the wrong horse,
the same as the rest of u.s."
1t is a mistake to suppose that. with
everybody, charity begins at home.
With seven tenths of us it never begins
anywhere.
HIGHLAND LovER.-"Jennet, A Mer-
~ Christmas: and now that we are
alone, give me a good smack"
JENNET's IRATE FATHER, getting over
the woH.-"Wait a wee. laddie, and
you'll have smack enough"
In an Ohio town when a young lady
declines an offer to convey her home,
he asks permission TO sit on the fence
and see her go by.
The London Times estimates that
IA, coo, coo bushels of wheat will be
required from this country to supply
the markets of Europe until the crop
of 1874 is harvested.
A dry wItted soldier of the Tenth
Vermont Regiment, during the war,
was heard to pray when the bullets
we're falling in showers about him. as
follows: "Oh, Lord, make me as thin
as a knife"
A wealthy Buffalo widow lady Of
sixty has just married her own wild
owed son in law of thirty-fve, and, as
there are children on both sides, PEG
pie are now trying to study out the
newly established relationship.
The farmer should SOW his Ps, keep
his Us warm, hive his Bs, kill off his
Us, remember what he Cs, take care of
the VS.. pay all he Os. teach bis wife
not TO rs, and take his Els.
A young nan sent his girl a box of
grapes, one afternoon lately, and the
hext day a fellow met him on the street
and said: "Those grapes were jolly
good last night; send some up every
Wednesday eveuing-that's my night,
you know"
Think of fattening hogs on figs! CAL
ifornia papers advise greater c~ultiva-
ton of the fig tree because the food is
so good for hog feed. An acre Of figs
will fatten more hogs than will an acre
of corn.
The friends of a wit expressing some
surprise that, with his age and fond
ness for the bottle, he should have
thought it worth while to marry. "a
wife is necessary" he said; "they be
gan to say of me that l drank too
much for a single man."
A natural coke, from Virginia, bae
made its appearance in the market.
1t burns without smoke and does moi
give off either sulphurous odors or gas.
In steam producing power it fully
equals anthracite.
Prussia has one physician for every
s, 200 inhabitants, Austria one in ev-
cry 1855, Hungary one in 5.499, while
Russia has but one for ID, I66 people.
10 the United States, according to the
census of 1870, there is n doctor"
to about 600 of population! Enough.
one would think, to justify their being
placed under some uniform national
regulation.