Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-10-22

upon the slim youth, broke in with
"N.n.o-I guess not ter-day, anyhow. I'll
20 down an see my aunt, and eff conclude
ter come, III come, up termorrer and let yer
know"
He has not yet turned up.
CoURTsHIP FAIR AND SQUARE.-One long
Summer afternoon, there came to Mr.. David
sons the most tiresome specimen ofan old
bachelor the world ever heard Of He was
old, gray, wrinkled and odd. He hated old
women, especially old maids, and wasn't
afraid to say so. He and Aunt Patty had it
hot whenever chance threw them togeth-
err yet still he came and it was noticed
that Aunt Patty took unusual pains with her
dress whenever he was expected.
One day the contest waged unusually strong,
and Aunt patty left in disgust, and went out
into the garden.
"That bear" she muttered to herself, as she
stopped to gather flower which attracted her
attention.
"What did you run for?" said a gruff voice
behind her.
"To get rid of you"
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"No, you are worse than a burdock burr"
"You won't get rid of me either"
~ won't, ?"
"Only in one way"
"And that ?"
"Mary me-"
"What, us two fools get married! What
would people say"
"That's nothin' to us. Come, say yes or no !;
I'm in hurry"
"Well, no, then"
"Very we'll; good bye; shant come
again."
"Stop bit-what pucker you're in"
"Yes or MOP"
II must consult"
GAIL right. I thought you were Of age
Good bye"
"Jabez Andrews, don't be fool. Come
back I say. Why, believe the critter has
taken me for earnest. Jabez Andrews, III
consider"
81 don't want any considering: I'm going.
Becky Hasting is waiting for me. l thought
I'd give you the first chance, Patty. All
right j good bye."
"Jabez Jabez! That stuc1-up Beck Has
tings shan't have you! Jabez, yes! Do you
hear-y.e.s
Has~ A few evenings ago couple of gentle
men living in boarding g-house in Sacramen-
to were attracted to the room of lady in the
same building by her cries that there was a
centipede in her bed. The gas was turned
down quite low, but the men could see the
creature on the bed and, doubling towel
several times, one Of them cast it over the
centipede and clutched it tightly to prevent its
escape. One of the gentlemen was somewhat
fan amateur scientist, and desired ardently
to preserve the centipede as a specimen. Ac-
cordingly the captured animal was carried in
the towel to drug store, and quite num-
ber of persons gathered to get look at it.
The druggist poured chloroform on the towel,
to stupify the creature and to prevent the
possibility of its escape, and one of the clerks
stood by with an uplifted club to stike it,
should it attempt to get off. The towel was
opened, and the expectant lookers'on were as
tonished and disgusted to find tina, all the
fuss had been made over little strip OF cal
leo.
A New DEAL.-A Chicago parson, who is
also a school teacher, handed problem to his
class in mathematics. The first boy took it,
looked at it awhile, and said, 81 pass" Second
boy took it, and said, 81 turn it down." The
third boy stared at it awhile, and drawled
out, II can't makeit" "Very good, boys, -
said the parson, eve will proceed to cut for
a new deal" and with this remark, the leather
danced like lightning over the shoulders OF
these depraved young mathematicians.
sg Chubby, three.year old boy, was much
puzzled to know what made it rain, when his
orthodox mother told him that God made it
rain. A few days after, Chubby was discover
ed amusing himself by throwing water from
q two-story window on the heads of the
passers-by, and, on being demonstrated with
by his mother, said: "Why, mamma, am
only playing God" Of course, the mother
was horriGed at the comparison.
asg- Little Billy was very cross and tired
the other night, and he wanted his father to
take him on his knee but father was tired
or pretended to be. 81 want you to hold me
on your knee" he whined. 81 tell you L can
not do it; 1 am tired" replied his father, i'm
patiently "Tired! You wasn't very tired
last night when you held Mary on your knee
in the kitchen"
e@ An exchange, ridiculing the ridiculou:
county fairs, which make no effort at good
shows, says that the Clear6eld fair consisted
of calf, goose and pumpkin 1t rained
so hard the first night that the goose swan ott
the calf broke loose an ate the pumpkin, and
thief prowling around stole the calf, ane
that ended the fair.
ny "Look out there! What are you kick
ing my dog for? "Pm kickin' him cause
he's full of tieas, and don't want to get .en
on my clothes" "Fleas, the devil why
that dog sleeps with me-" eyes, durn you
know it; and that's whar he gets them"
TINE IS MoNEY.-A boy who had beer
taught that time is money, appeared at tn
bank the other day, and remarked that -. n
had an hour given him, and he would hk
to snend a. quarter of an hour, and would tax
the change for the other three quarters