The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-05-30
CH KL Es,

It is said of thestempeaanee esa-
saders that .sthey drink not, noith-
er do they sin yet Solomon, n III
his glory, was not q raid like one OF
these.n sE@
Hair.cutter (who has been eating
onions )-S'moil on your. hair, sir
blowing fiercely down customers
neck)1 ..Dustomer-Phewl what's
that Hair-cutter-S'mOil, Air. Gus
tomer-Then I won't have any.
A German Jew was eating Q
pork chop in a thunder storm. On
hearing an unusually loud clap, he
laid down his knife and fork and
observed: Veil, did any poty efer
hear such q fuss apout a little -biece
OF bork p an
A friend at our elbow says he
thinks it just as reprehensible for
women to get tight by lacing as for
men to get tight by whisky: Both
injure the system. Well. it's mono
of our particular business, any, way.
Men generally get tight cause it's
pleasant, and women get tight eors-
cts nice.
A Partisan, who was known as q
freethinker, met a Partisan friend
the other day, and, taking him by
the hand, said, II have become a
Christian.o I ain glad to hear it,
he replied "suppose we now have
settlement Of that little account
between us. Pay me what thou
owes..' 1'No," said the newborn
child, turning on his heel; ''reli.
gion, and business is basiness.n
St, Paul's Episcopal church is
one OF the very prettiest Of it's kind
in a town in the West. The rrecto-
ry formerly had large and impos.
ing .doo:- plate, inscribed ''St. Paurs
Parson age.o One day q. waggish
friend OF the rector rang the bell
fiercely, and asked fist. Paul were
at home. The rector enjoyed the
joke, but called for a screw-driyer
Immediately, and the door plate has
since been missing.
About IL o'clock one night a po
licemm met negro carrying q
trunk along the street, and, think
ing he had discovered an item, ho
collared the negro, and told him to
drop that trunk and explain. 'sI
kin do it, sab" replied the stranger,
as he put the trunk down. ode
family what was boarding me has
been axing for money, and as dey
was gwyne out tonight, l thought
Id get into some family wb;r dey
respected de panic" he. was al
lowed to go on:
While manipulating the windlass
ofa we'll the other night, a party
who had been laying in a stock of
whisky before it was all seized by
the police, let the handle slip when
the bucket was half.way-up, and
natural y enough received a chuck
under. the chin that knocked him
over neighboring fence. "Sold
agin," he muttered, as he climbed
to his feet; ''might anode-hic-
better than to-hic 60 foolin' roun'
so much water. Betcher boots I'll
stick t whisky after this"
A distinguished professor, resid-
ing not thousand miles from An
dover, was recently on an excursion
to. Europe. Being in Edinburgh
one wet Sunday, and desiring to 70
to church, he hired a cab. On
reaching the ehurch-door he tender
ed a.shilling to cabby, the legal
fare, and was somewhat surprised
to hear the cabman say, ."Twa shul-
leu sir" The professor fixed his
eagle eyes upon the extortloner,
demanded why he charged two
shillings, and the cabman aryly an
swered, 1--WE wush to discourage
eaveling On the Sawbath as much
as possible, sir.0
@ A Massachusetts farmer says:
s'My cattle will follow me until l
leave the lot, and on the way up to
the barnyard in the evening, stop
and call for lock of hay" smith
son says there is nothing at all re-
markable about that. He went in.
to a barnyard in the country one
day last week, and all old bull not
only followed him until he left the
lot but took the gate off the hinges
and raced with him to the house in
the most familiar way possible. He
has no doubt that the old fellow
would have called for something if
be had waited a little while, but he
didn't want to keep the folks wait
ing for dinner, so he hung one tail
Of his coat and piece of his pants
L