The Placer herald., 1874-01-03
NUMBER 20.
SCISSORINGTUNS,

feed him.
i. Gan shepedxree u sky terrier bs traced
up to the dog star?
Springfield. Mass. has an ordinance which
imposes fine on any one "wAo sweary o~a
loud"
''And still they tumble, is still the bead
line for somo-of the Western dry goods al
vertisements.
The young man who boasted he souaa
marry any girl be pleased, found that be
couldn't please any.
Elgin, Illinois offers the boys two cents
piece for all the rats they can lin, and tho
schools are on the point Of suspending.
Colored citizens of the South don't say
"Shoo Fly" when an insect troubles them
nowadays-"Gwofumdah," is the mysteri-
GUS word.
A newspaper Office in Western Iowa rents
part Of the Office for a cheese factory, and
thus exhibits double claim to the power Of
the press.
Commercial drum ,neTs are az bad of as
mechanics. New York alone has discharged
five Thousand Of them. Advertising has
not decreased.
A man who claimed to be John Quincy
Adams, ex-P resident Of the United States,
got weeks board and much attention from
Green Bay landlord.
The Chief Of Police Of Memphis has ta-
ken a census Of the ''roughs," and fnde
that, Of one hundred and thirty six, all but
three survived the epidemic.
Mark Twain is honest. On being sur
prised by toast at dinner in London re-
Gently, he pulled out large rol of manu-
script and proceeded to reply.
The editor of the Duluth Herald pub
fishes a proclamation saying, "We shall
jerk living out of ibis city during the
coming Winter. or we are much mis- taken.
A philosopher says that "a true man
never frets about his place in the world, but
just slides into it by the gravitation Of his
nature, and swings there as easily as .
star"
In an item Of information Of considerable
solemnity, the Yazoo Democrat tells US
that america consumes annually six mil
lions pounds of Turkish figs, in round fig
nres."
II meant to have told you of that hole,"
said gentleman to his friend who, walk
ing in his garden, stumbled into a pit Of
water. "No matter" said the friend, IL
have found it,
New Orleans sent to Genoa, Italy, two
hundred barrels Of whisky, manufactured
in Louisiana, but con .Oles herself with the
reflection that it is all coming back soon in
the form of French brandy.
Chow to keep the canal open in Winter"
is a problem that many newspapers and cor
respondents are trying to solve. 1t is doubt
ful, however, if they can find better way
than to let the water out.
An engraver in Springfield, Mass, has
cut the Lords Prayer into piece Of copper
less than one-fOurth the size of silver three
cent piece. and there is room in the circle for
fifteen or twenty more words.
Some miserable creature, void of the prin-
cipies Of honor, having stolen the scissors Of
the editor Of the Sullivan Democrat, that
paper comes to us this week void Of its
usual variety of editorial matter.-7erre
Haute, Ind, Gazette.
A gentleman who rather suspected some
one was peeping through the keyhoe Of his
office door, investigated with a syringe full
of pepper sauce, and went home to find bis
wife had been cutting wood and chip had
hit her in the eye.
1t was bad enough for the Boston Adrer-
tiser to say of Wilkie Collins as lecturer:
"The London intonation is noticeable in
flattening of the vowels." But it was worse
when a Western compositor made it read "a
flattesing of the bowels.
The editor Of the Kokomo, Ind, Tribune,
who was robbed Of four hundred dollars in
Indianapolis hotel not long since. attributes
the affair to can overruling Providence, and
bis forgetting to wear his nose-glasses when
he bolted the door.
It is now discovered that the account Of
balloon being found in tree in North Africa,
and supposed to have travelled southwark
from France during the Franco-German war,
is founded on typographical error. The
word should have been printed "baboon."
An old. rough clergyman once took for
his text that passage Of the Psalms, II
said in my haste all n,en are liars" Look
ing up, apparently az if he saw the Psalm
ist standing before him. he said: '.You said
it in your haste, David. If you had been
here you might have said it after mature
deliberasicn."
A Greenville, Tenn, quill-driver pleas
antly says Of another writer: "Hs SANDER
ous soul is imbued with the electric fire Of
bell; bis black heart emits the sulphurous
fumes till bis whole nature is absorbed in one
homogeneous mass Of hellshness," and the
Norristown Her0h savs admiringly: "A