Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-06-18
{" Ny DOCTOR.v
IRespectfnIly dedicated to the whole medical and
surgical fraiernity.l

speesfully dedicated to the whole medical an,
surgical fraiernity-l
"who ran to catch rae when fen,
And leeched the place to make it well?
My Doctor"
Dear Doctor, tits your art to heal
All maladies We mortals feel;
You GU and carve. and slice and peel,
No mater what our groans reveal;
And fer each physical disaster
You straight apply some magic plaster,
Or drug. T. anudote each pain
And bring repose to limb and brain.
You take your keen dissectr g-knife,
And track the avenues of life,
And most audaciously prepare
To lay or puivering muscles bare.
You twist and scrape our shrinking bones,
Despite our piteou> shrieks and means,
And after All This laceratiOn.
Sew up cur flesh with exutation.
II rs an arm that must be lopped,
Or huge excrescerce TO be cropped;
II by some sad, uplucsy chance,
We've manned an ear and marred our glance,
Why we must needs repair to you,
AnG t-Ist TO skill to bring Us through;
Yogr motto is 70 kill or cure -
Our business-uee ky to endure.
Your knowledge we must not gainsay,
Or 'gainst your theories Inveigh,
However counter they may run
To common sense. . Thy will be DONE"
Your verdict VINO may dare impeach?
For are you not that famous leech,
Who by mere severing OF vein,
Can plethoric purses empty drain.
Some triaing III aaiicts us sore,
Nay1ap Observation-Disclosures more.
And straight, with grave, lUgubrious air,
You WAC vrur wise farbodlnC head
As though life trembled on a thread;
Then add, 8 Dear madam, I'll embrace
This chance TO diagnose your case"
You then proceed with ostentation,
To talk Of some vague complication "
That does exist within our frames,
And which you designate by names
SO horribly atrocious, we
Would fain from your dread presence flee,
An: rather than be awed ike this,
Deem ignorance our highest bliss.
Or petty Headache proves to be
very complex mystery;
problem that we ne'er had solved,
Bu, For the theory evolved
From out that brain whose mystic lore
AL depths of science can explore.
Woe TO the wretch whose rafting speech,
Filings satire on the name of Lesch.
We ask no questions. but submit
To what - Sir Oracle y deems ut.
Our open Threats, alas . alas
BY MS decree become pass
Through which all sorts of stuff go down,
OF colors blue and green and brown;
Mysterious liquids filter through,
Each dim, corporal avenus.
We take. with unresisting smile,
Abhorren. nOstruns, compounds vile.
Emetics whose swift circulation
Reverse the laws of gravitation.
Till nature. almost dosed TO death,
Cries out with gssping, scant breath,
And check these hocrid inward throes.
All me, It's beautiful to see
How learned doctors do agree:
What mutual love their souls infame,
How tender of each others fame;
How sacred Is the tie that binds
In arlity their kindred min DIS,
From jealousy and wrath how free
Is the admired fraternity
This earth would be desert drear,
We're there no lovely doctors here
To give us auodynes aud pills,
And mitigate ife's varied ills.
What though by carping tongues It's said
That doctors cOnsclences are dead?
! arr no caustic: ergo.
Pass all such knotty questions by.
Content, when pains are most severe,
To have an Esculapius near.
lslo York Post.