Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1874-10-08
Pickings and Steallngs.

- want TO know" said creditor,
herccly. : when YOU are going to pay me
what you owe!me ?" II give it mp" replied
the debtor, ASK me something easy"
With a sardonic grin Wix poured
some muciiagc into his empty hair-Uil bot.
tie yesterday. and this morning the hair OF
one o.the servant girls wa- stuck 50 tight
that she could not shut her mouth.
some one wrote to Horace Greeley in-
qulred il guauo was good to put on pota-
tees. He said it might do FOR those whose
tastes bad become vitiatcd with tubaccu
and rum, but he iprcfrrcd gravy and but
ter.
A corn doctor il Europe begins III,
announcement with the statement that he
has had the honor to operate ON several
crowned feet.
A minister once prayed 80 Lord We
thank Thee for the goodly number here
tonight, aud that thou art here uotwith-
standing the lrclemency OF the weather.
One Of our fashionable youth, dpnurJ
his first silk hat and cigar saturday even
linz. lie got along well enough with the
cigar, but he had 10 give up the hiatt
made him sick at the stomach.
Deacon Gaudam nour~he, in Lock
Haven, y. !. When the minister wishes
collection taken up for the liltlc heather
on 'lndia'S coral strand, ana says Dca-
con Gaudam. you please pass the hat h..
has to he careful how he places hi, COM
mas.
While lecturer was a. scribin. the ma
ture OF gas, a lady inquired Of gentleman
near her, what was the difference between
oxygen and hydrogen? Very little. mad
am, he SAID; by oxygen We mean pure
GIN; and by hydrogen, gin and water.
A young lady without arms was mar
red last week in New Jersey. Eut Il was
remarked by her friend at the wedding
that II any persons thought she wasn't pre-
pared for the emergencies OF married life
they just ought to see her kick the stufilna
out Of a bag OF sand.
A man who was about 20 BE- hanged in
Alabama sang az he stood with the moose
about his neck oh, the bright angels are
waiting for me- Whereupon the local cdi-
tor icndishly wrote, And then the angels
stirred up The fire and it looked brighter
than ever"
Amid u hot political campaign, muir
ders, and riotng all over the country. the
Beecher saendal, disappearance of little
Charlie Ross, and Professor Tvndall's l.
farming materialism, the Philadelphla
Ledger stops TO ask: What is the plurul
of" Daddy Long-lcgsS"
William said one Quaker to another
thee knows l never call anybody names
put William II the Governor OF the STATE
should come TO me and say. Joshua.
want thee 10 find me the big gest liar In ih,.
State of New York. | would come to thee
and say, william the Governor wants to
see the particularly
A Boston provision dealer whose ac-
counts were overhauled by an officer. th,.
other day, ha! peculiar method OF book
Keeping. One charge was TO the little
short, middlc-aged woman in spectacles
VINO comes IN once week another item
was placed To the account of the biz red
haired woman around the corner
"A thorough western train story comes
from rerre Haute. As the cars were NOV
ing away from that station the other day,
pretty young woman came from the lad
to stop the train. Catching sight Of the
conductor, she explained piteously. Mr.
Conductor, do please stop the train; I've
left my baby" The train was stopped and
the baby recovered, amidst the hearty
cheers OF the people on the platform and
the passengers; and while the young moth
er laughed and cried and Rugged her little
one. sheitried To explain how the baby was
such new one that she hadn't got used
to it.