Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1874-03-17
Grange Secrets Revealed.
How limitations arc Conducted.

tue louRc \OtccHpIoCcI lenpIe,N No. lVl' J
was told that | had been balloied for
aud accepted My informant, who was
securely masked by what aiterward
learned was u large bun dock leaf, per.
forated with holes for the eyes. told me
) that if | valued my life it would be nec-
eSsary Tor me TO strip. AS did consider
that of considerable worth 10 me. and rs
with seven shooter. Withdrew from
my garments with eagerness. My mask
ed friend then furnished me with the
. regala Oi first degree-called The Fes
tive Ploughboy"-whchc consists merely
of one large cabbage leaf attached TO a
! waist band of potato vines. Ia this airy
costume ! was conducted TO The door.
where my companion gave three distinct
raps q was securely blindiolded by
binding slice of ruAbaga over each
eye) A sepulchral voice from within
asked: "Who comes?'
Ny guide answercd "A youthful agri.
culturst who desires To become a
granger"
sepuchral voice. Have YOU looked him
carefully over''
Guide-'I have, noble gate-kceper'
5. V.-"Do you lind any agricultural
marks about his person."
Guide-"I do"
S. WHAT are lhcy?"
Guide-"The candidate has carroty
hlir, reddish whiskers. and lurnup
nose"
S Wis we'll Why do you de-
sire to become q granger ?"
Guide answering Tor candidate)-
That may he thereby The better en-.
enabled to harrow up the feelings OF the
r',scally politicians.
5. Y-"You will bring in the caudi-
date. Ny worthy stripiinS,as you cannot
ste. | will cause YOU 10 feel that you are
received at the door on the Three points
nf pitchlorS. piercing the region Of the
stomach. which is 10 teach you the three
great ,irtues--fnith, hope and charity
Faith in yourself, hope tor cheaper farm
machinery, aud charity for the lightning
rod peddler. You will now be harnessed,
AMI in representation OF the horse. Pc.
gnsuS, will he tested Us 10 endurance and
wind
The candidate is here attached 10 Il
small imitation plow. by means ol hem
pru harness. lried pumpkin vine is
pul in his mouth for bit and bridle-he
IS made 10 get down upon all fours. the
guide sezcs the bridlc, and urged on by
a CHANGER armed with a Canada thistle,
which he vigorously applies at the ter.
minus oi the spine. the candidate is
galloped three times around the room.
While making the cinruit The members
arise aud sing:
Get up and dust you bully boy
who wouldn't be a granger,
II the thi.Ile's prick don't cause you joy,
To feeling you must be estransed ahi
After this violent exercise he is rubbed
dry with corn cUbS. beeswaxcd where
lhi-tled, aud brougbi standing up before
the great chief-the most worshipiul
pumpk N head
NJ w. p. II-"Why do you desire TO
be granger?"
Candidate-(answering Tor himselD-
That may learn to extinguish Sc ewing
machine agents.
NJ. w. 7. H.-"Have your hands been
hardened with toll ?"
Candidate MOT extensively. but then
am not running for Office"
NJ. w. 7. IL" 'Tis well, for our
lodges contain several who are supposed
to be ready to sacrifice themselves for the
good ol their constituents. DO you ieel
pretty smart this EVENING""
Candidaie-"Yes, where the hustle
go"s on"
NJ. w. p. H.-(savagely)-"Give me
chaw of ,obacker!"
Candidate searching himself thorough
ly. but there is no place about him ~
stick a pocket, tries 10 explain. but the
most worshiplul pumpkin. head interrupts
! him with:
Never mind. my dear young friend
| am we'll aware that in your present con-
dillon yol can no mole furnish your
friends with the weed than Adam could
be comfortable in plug hat and tight
boots. 1t is merely 10 teach you the
great lesson of economy-doing to others
as you'd like 10 have them do TO you -
| You will now be conducted TO the most
eminent sqa,sh producer, who will teach
y u the grand haling sign of distress.
The sign, my worthy brother. will insure
you against many Of the ills Of the agri
culiurist-among others. against drouths
and being bit by the ferocious grass.
hopper"
The candidate is now conducted TO the
most eminent squash producer. who thus
says: My worthy brother. | will now
invest you with the order OF the festive
Ploughboy, which you have well won by
your heroic achievement while harnessed
may you ever wear it with pleasure to
yourself, and may il be n means OF terror
to your enemies"
(The NJ f s. p then proceeds to invest
the candidate with the regalia OF the
festive PIoughboy, which consists Of