The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1874-01-17
The more he male, the more he shaved
Great God can such n soul be saved -

Western paper tells a story Of n country
woman who had made her first attempt to get in
the courthouse yard through the patent back
action gate She opened the gate, went through,
as she supposed, and shut herself out on the same
side seven times; then CIRCULATING "Alerciful
sakest" climbed over the fence.
The daughter of n Sioux chief has appeared
upon the operatic stage in san Francisco. The
critics state that Parepa Rosa does not equal her
I'm volume Of sound nor in music of voice, and
vet Parepa Rosa has had the instruction Of Euro
pean masters, while Miss Rat Trap has had no
such advantages, and has no Italian name.
DIFFERENCE N WmsKY.-A young man who
prosses 10 have travelled says that the only differ
ences in the whskys Of the two principal cities of
California is that after taking drink Of Sacra-
mentO's chain lightning You Immediately make
short cut 10 the railroad and 90 to sleep on the
track; whereas after imbibing little of San
Frauciseo's bottled insanity burning desire
takes possession Of you to steal horse and buggy.
4 MINISTER WHO WAsS'T 4 PUDDING HEAD
An anecdOtc Is told Of Parson Shute, the first
minister settled ut South bingham, which for
ready wit ought not to pass unrecOrded. 1t ap-
pears that the reverend gentleman was very fond
or pudding, 30 az n ministerial meeting one day,
the hostess, in order to crafty the taste of her
guest, had pudding for dinner Unfortunately it
came very near the fire while it was cooking, so
that when it was served it was extremely hot.
The parsOn, without allowing it time to cool,
ullced n piece nE once IN ms mouth, ana tneu FOL
lowed the usual cOntOrtiOns incident to such an
OCCASION but all to no purpose. The pudding
would not 90 so the ParsOn, who was polite
man. quietly slipped it out of his mouth and into
his coat pocket, all of which was observed by his
brothar ministers who, for the sake of Joke,
said, - 80 you are putting the pudding into your
pOeket are you2'' '1Oh yes, ;" said the Parson,
all unmovcd, - put little piece in there merely
10 light nv pipe with after dinner" The expla-
nation, it is needless to add, was sufficient.
B,By's FIRST Tooru.-Mr and Mrs HARRISON
had lust finished their breakfast. Mr.. HARRISON
had pushed back, and was looking under the
Ioun1e for his boots Mrs. HARRISON. sat at the
table holding the infant HARRISON, and mechani-
caiIy working her fOrefnger in its mouth. Sud
denly she paused in the motion, threw the as
tonished child its back, turned as white as
sheet, pried open its mouth and Immediately
oasued - Ephraiml' - Mr.. HARRISON, who was
on his knees with his head under the lounge at
once came forth, rappIng his head sharply on the
side of the lounge rs he did so, and getting on
his feet, inquired what was the matter. go
Ephraim." said she, the tears rolling down her
checks and the smiles coursing up. 80 Why,
what is il, Arnethca?'' said the astonished Mr.
Harbison, smartly rubbing his head where it had
come in contact with the lounge. Baby -"
she gasped Mr.. HARRISON turned pale, and com
menced to sweat. - Baby has. o, q, O.,
Ephraiml Baby has-baby has got n tooth -
mo- screamed Mr.. Harrison, spreading his
legs apart, dropping his chin, and staring at the
struggling heir with all his might 81 tell you
IL is" persisted Mrs. HARRISON, with slight evil
dence Of hysteria. go, q, it can't be- pro-
tested Mr.. HARRISON, preparing to swear if it
wasn't - Come here, and see for yourself, y
said Mrs HARRISON, - Open its little mousy wousy
for it's own 1nuzzer. That's tOOdy, woody; that's
a blessed little Jump O. sugar Thus eOnjured,
the heir opened its mouth sufficiently for the au-
thor Of is being thrust his finger, and, that
gentleman having convinced himself by the most
indubitable evidence that tooth was there, i'm
mediateiy kicked his hat across the room, buried
his fist in the lounge, and declared with much
feeling and yehemence that he could lick the in
diyidual who would dare to intimate that he was
not the happiest man on the face OF the earth.-
TDGH5lTy NeIrS.