The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-06-05
JOHN AT SALT LAKE.
A Humorous Description of the City


JOHN AT SALT LAKE.
Humorous Description of the City of
the saints.
II is Just two days run from San
Francisco to Salt Lake City, but if you
should personally undertake to run in
two days, you'd find it takes two weeks
that's on foot. They manipulate pic
torial pasteboard on the cars. The
game requires only three cards. You
bet on the jack, and you'll find that you
turn up jack-a Jackass. In playing
this game, the rule that applies to Ma
poleon on the white horse, "You pays
your money and you takes your choice, !"
is reversed, and you takes your choice
and avs your money.
the Union Pacific at Ogden, and take the
Utah Central railroad, and then take a
drink, and then you ride thirty-eight
miles, and there you are.
Salt Lake City has a population of
about %, 900. The first party of pros
pectors, less than 200 in number, and
here in 1847. Five hundred more ar
rived the following year. The city is
laid out in squares, formed by very
tells.
The Tabernacle is the biggest meeting
house I ever got inside of. 1t is Just
the shape of wire butter cover. 1t
will hold over 1000 people. Prairie
schoOners used to be plenty in this SEQ
ton, but only one brig has ever arrived
at this port, and that is Brig-ham He
is the boss of the town. 1t takes big
- L f.
is a section of this country known as
the Banana Belt, and that is the only
belt long enough to go around Mrs.
Brigham Young all at once. He must
keep ten-hOrse power. donkey engine
to mix hash for his family. How dom
| dey engine can be horse power | be-
queath to your readers as a rebus for
| them to solve.
The city is situated in the loveliest
valley / ever saw, overshadOwed by the
| W. hsatch range of mountains, their
peaks visible, capped with snow the
year around. The climate is wonder
fully mild. About two miles from the
center of the city, and owned by it, is a
warm sulphur spring. Swimming
bath houses have been erected, and a
swim in that sulphur water is positive
luxury. Still further out from the city
| are the hot springs. An egg will cook
in the water in four minutes. So will
| two eggs. Uncle Samuel has a military
camp near the city. There is one very
large business house here. 1t is called
| lions Co operative Mel camille 1nstitu-
ton.
Salt Lake is some miles from the city.
I visited it. The name is apropos
! It isn't necessary to embalm a man to
make him keep if he has ever been
soaked in that water. One teaspoonful
once a day taken internally would turn
a man into corn beef in less than a
week. Mashed potatoes dropped into
the lake come up Goldfish balls inside of
three minutes, and an old boot leg be-
comes a mackerel in two hours. Three
barrels of water make one barrel of salt
that is according to chemical analysis.
My Judgment, unsupported, would lead
me to suppose, from tasting it, that one
barrel of water would make three
barrels of salt. It's buoyancy is re.
markable. Mr.. B of z. G.
NJ. institution says that he has
walked out into that lake until
he has had fifty feet of water under
him, and he sank only to his waist.
Mr.. B also informed me that in dis.
robing he accidently dropped his stock
ings he walked out into the lake, sat
down, made clothes line OF his toes,
hung his stockings on 'em, and sat there
till they dried. l remarked, that must
have been when he was buoy but he
said no.
There is a man out here, he is Jew
eler. . He is the very fellow who made
the welkin ring. 1 saw him making &
napkin ring. There is a demand fol
old horse shoes; they are going to start
a Chinese paper in Sacramento, and
they want 'em for type.
met an old New Yorker day before
yesterday; he was once a prominent
republican; he is now a very strong
democrat.
Says I, "What made you change %
"Says he, g It's perfectly natural
should do So"
Says I, "Why SOP"
Says he, "Don't man always, wher
he gets tired of lying on one side, turn
over on the other side ?"
Says I, "Geod day, sir"
Says he, Good day."
A fellow told me something. He says
"Not a thousand miles from Cana
street, New York, sign hangs out ovel
a restaurant door, George & Joe.
He was in there eating some cooked
meats the other day. when two anti
crusaders entered. They walked up tc
the bar and exclaimed, "Give us 6
couple" GA couple of what ?" says
the Earkeeper. GA couple of George
and Joes," was the reply. "Why, gen,
tlemen," says the barkeeper, George
and Joe is the name of the firm" L" My
gracious - says one of the fellows,
"you don't told me so CAD [ knew
Tom and Jerry was a beverage, al d
hang me if 1 didn't think George and
| To- ,ro. n ,,o1r