The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-05-08
SAYINGS AND DOINGs.

must De q ndEU 4Ots
A YANKEE wanted the Bridge Of Sigha
pointed out to him, and then offered to
bet America had several bridges twice
the size.
SHE tied the halter to her waist, aud
led the COW to water; the brute took
| fright, and gave twist-' My daugh-
ter oh, my daughter =
SEVEN Sandusky women started out
on a crusade, but meeting lady with a
new spring bonnet on, they turned and
gossipped and went home.
THE marriage license of Mr.. jefferson,
the will of George Washington, and the
VIII of KosciuskO have been placed IN
the Virginia state library.
THE height of ability consists in a
thorough knowledge of the real value
of things, and of the genius of the age
we live in.-RochefO1caatt
A ConQUTTr Georgia. minister hay-
ing become a father the thirty second
time, local paper suggests that the boy
benamed ''Call Quit.
A MARRIED WOMAN of fifty in Dayton,
Nevada, has eloped with youth of fife
teen, and it isn't stated whether she pro-
poses to be his mother or grandmother.
IF Kentucky man will shoot his best
friend in a dispute about a fifty-cent
umbrella, what would he do in case
some one drove his best COW to the
pound?
IS JENNIE JUNE wants the women TO
wear cork bUstles to save themselves
from drowning, but a safer way would
be to strap on yawl boat and provisions
for three days.
DANIEL GRAVES, an Alabamian, was
praying in church the other day, when
his revolver went off and shot him in
the leg. There seems to be a moral
here somewhere.
A New YORK paper says that Vir-
Pinia mule is two pegs above New
York coroner in point of intelligence and
sagacity, though it doesn't want to hurt
any corOner's feelings.
An Iowa Judge has decided that it is
mere of a sin to steal a horse than to
elope with another mans wife, because
there are 5000, 600 woman In the Uni
ted States and only 5000, 900 horses.
WHEN you see a bare-headed man
following a COW through the front gate,
and filling the air with garden imple-
ments and profanity, you may know that
Lis cabbage plants have been set ont.
A WHOLE generation of parents al
ready occupies this mundane spherew who
cannot describe to inquiring childhood
a warming pan, fOOt-stove, tinder-box,
a brick-oven, crane, or a candle-moId.
THE Bishop of Manchester has declared
in favor of cremation, and states that the
Almighty can raise man from the dead
whose body had been burned, just as
easily as he could raise one whose body
had been buried.
WHEN New Orleans proudly shows
Quebec a shirt front stained with fresh
strawberry Juice, the latter triumphantly
exhibits to New Orleans sore ON the
side of the nose, made by mosquito of
this years growth.
-Advices from Little Rock represent
Brooks men as out of meat. When
these Arkansas fellows complain of being
out of meat you may rest assured that
the chickens of the neighborhood are
roosting uncemmonly high.
THE West Chester (Pennsylvania)
News takes a practical view of the Gre
nation question. It says " With some
people cremation is only a question of
time. If it don't come In this world it
IS sure to come in the next.
SOMEBODY boasts in a western news
paper of being the happy possessOr of
first-class oroide watch which runs an
hour In forty minutes, and with the as
sistance Of two hands has gained enough
to pay for itself in three weeks.
THERE is something very sensible in
the impromptu remark of pretty girl
"If our Maker thought il wrong for
Adam to live single when there was not
a woman on earth, how criminally wrong
are the old bachelors, with the world
full of pretty girls 20
-Sylvanus thinks It would be q good
thing to say, when the governor blows
up and you as obstinate as a mule
Like enough, when you have an ass
for father" SyIvanus does not mean
to try this himself. He has no occasion.
Any boy that wants it may have it.
SHE entered the omnibus and looked
around, and said loudly to her grand
daughter " No seat Well, let's get
cut unless that man will give me his
seat. The man didn't do anything of
the kiEd, but she sat down, and pulled
two dress skirts eff the belts and was
happy
4 NEAT reply was made by a Minneso-
ia editor to q man who stopped his
paper, giving as one reason that his
wife said tit won't even clean lamp-chim-
neys." The editor stated that the sub
scriber could be no gentleman, for he
had ''no right to betray what his wife
told him in confidence"
THoUGH many are familiar with the
word blackguard, few know its origin.
It was given, according to Ben Jonson,
/ TO a regiment of low, mean dependents,
| who hung about the palaces Of the great,
doing the most menial services, and
/ when they were en- route, with pot and
/ pan, coal and ashes, the people said,
fThere go the blackguards.
Is the will Of the late Countess of
! Loudoun, Just proved, her ladyship,
after desiring that her funeral may be as
quiet as possible, goes on to say: .
futber wish my right hand TO be cut of
and buriel In the park at Castle Doning-
ton at the bend of the hill to the Trents
and a small cross or stone over 1t, with
the motto, 4 hyde my tyne
THY editor of the indianapolis Sen
tinel wagered S1O0 with a young
lady that she could not refrain from
epeakino during an entire week. He
Escorted the Young lady to the opera,
bribed members OF the family to try
and entrap her, and resorted TO various
other exped1ents IoF siatLlhg neI
tongue. but she won the bet, and the
editor of the Sentinel IS probably
wiser raan on the woman business than
he was one week ago.
EvsIIsHarRS are in high spirits over
the wondrous change that seems 70 have
come over the queen. Ordinarily very
solemn, not to say severe, she seems OF
late TO have recovered her former
elasticity Of spirits, and at the Windsor
review. as on one or two other recent ec-
j ns,.r,.. .lr.sIfr,c. and laltsrirr. In the