Weekly Trinity journal., 1874-03-07
THE GRANGERS EXPOSED

Some audacious fellow gives the follow
ing exposure of the mysterious initiation
ceremonies practiced by the Patrons of
llusbandry
On being brought in the anteroom Of
the lodge, (Greengroccr temple, No. l0D,
| was told that had been balloted for
and accepted. My informant, who was
masked by what | afterwards learned
was IL burdoct leaf perforated with holes
for eyes, told me that if | valued my life
it would be necessary for me to strip. As
| did consider that of considerable worth
to me, and as he itaiciscd his wishes by
carcles,ly playing with scycn-shootcr,
! Withdrew from my garments with ca
gerness. My masked friend then furnish
ed me with the rcgala of the first degree
called the " Festive Plow Boy"-which
consisted merely of one large cabbage
leaf attached to wa~tbnnd of potato
vines. In this airy costume | was con
ductrd to the door, where my companion
gave three distinct raps, Il was securely
hlind oldcd by binding n slice of rutaba-
ga over each cye,) A sepdlchral voice
from within inquired. Who comes ?"
My guide answered, "A youthful
agricuturst who desires to become n
Granger"
Sepulchral voice" Have you looked
him carefully over ?'
" haye noble gatckcepcr."
DO you find any agricultural marks
about his person ?"
Il do"
What are they ~
The candidate has carrotty hair, red
dish whiskers and a turnup nose"
"'Tis we'll. Why do you desire to be-
come a Granger ?"
Guide, answering for the candidate) y
" That | may be thereby better enabled
to harrow up the feelings of the rascally
politicians"
You will bring in the candidate. My
worthy STRIPPING as you cannot see, ! will
cause you to feel that you are received at
the door on the three points Of pitch
fork, piercing the region Of the stomach,
which j. to teach you three great virtues,
Faith, Hope and Charity. Faith in your
self, hope Tor cheaper farm machinery
and charity for the Iightuing-rod peddler
You will now be harnessed, and in the
representation Of the horse, Pegasus,
will be tested as to endurance and wind"
The candidate is here attached to n
small imitation plow, by means Of a stout
hempcn harness. A dried pumpkin-v vino
is put in his mouth for bit and bride-
he is made to get down on all-fours, the
guide ~ezes the reins, and urged on by n
Granger armed with a Canada thistle
which he vigorously applies to the term
ination of the spine, the candidate is gal
loped three times around the room
While making the circuit the member,
rise and sing:
Get up and dust you bully boy
Who wouldn't be "A Granger?
If the thistes prick don't cause you joy,
To feelings you must be estranged, ah!
After this violent exercise he is rubbed
dry with corn cobs, then beeswaxed
where thistled, and brought up standing
before the great chief, the Most Wor'
shipful Pumpkin Head.
NJ. w. p. H." Why do you desire
to be a Granger %
Candidate answering for himsel0-
"That may learn to oxtinguish sewing
machine agents"
Have your hands been hardened will
toll ?"
"Not extensively, but | am not run
ming for Office"
"Tis well, for our lodges contain sew
eral who are supposed to be ready to sac
| rfce themselves for the good Of their con
stituents. Do you feel pretty smart thi
evening ?"
Candidate" Yes, whore the bustl,
goes on"
NJ. W. P. II. (sayagely)-" Give me
chaw of tobacker."
Candidate searches himself thorough,
but as there is no place about him t.
stick a plug of tobacco, or anything else
tries to explain, but the Most Worship
ful Pumpkin Head interrupts him with
Never mind, my dear young friend
| am well aware that in your presen
condition you can no more furnish you