New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-03-22
VOLUME VINO. 295.
For the New Orlts aus Republican,
A LAMENTABLE BALLAD

How Soupie sawney went down to Clean
out the Mouth Of Mrs. Sippi, was
Smothered in the Mad nnd Perished
Nliserably.
Old mother Mrs sippi was laying very low,
She coudn't swallow up nor down her throat
was swelling so.
For this was what we gathered from all the talk
afoat
That something was the matter with the good old
lady's throat.
The doctors came by dozens and nurses by the
score,
And the lawyers came to draw her will at least as
many more.
OF course all sorts of people have prescribed all
sorts Of things,
OF pouitices and purgatives and some galvanic
rings.
But her throttle grew 50 narrow, notwithstanding
every drug,
That even her Peruvian bark was brought il BY q
ting;
And some proposed to steam her, and some had
other craft,
But nothing they had ever tried would much i'm
prove her draft.
She mnst have suftocated, but one perssvering
chap
Kept swabbing out her throttle and SO made a sort
he kept on working something like scraper or
mop
That looked as if she'd surely choke 20 soon as he
should stop
So it was all that could be done by such rude
means as these.
That she could draw her breath at all, though
with a sort Of wheese.
Ia fho ho1
thus;
They found her stomach very foul and her eso.
pnagns-
Was in chronic structure and her critical di.
Required IN artificial cash to give the pstient
They offered to relieve her, with tubular canal
Bat an episode disturbed them in this little inter
val.
There came . cunning scotman, and . tinker to
his trade.
Sometimes he clouted ironclads or y.hing that
paid.
He looked on the old lady as she rolled upon her
bed; ..s .-s.
He then produced his tinker clsmps and this is
what he said:
Guide folks, I'll cure her gin ye let me hae my
And if Gamma mend her wame III nae TAX ony
Some said this canny Sswney knows all what he's
about;
He has mended many . kettle and has soldered
many spout.
The regular physicians charge us such confounded
fees. t@
'Twere better she should die with him than have
her health with these.
The tinker then prepared for work ON this pls,n
plan Of cure R
To stop her mouth and nose and earssor other
aperture;
And then,' says he, I'm tickle her, and so you
see she must
Spit out the stuff that's chokin her and either
breathe or bust"
So scrawney Sawney went to work, and set his |
little pegs,
And barred his little stringy arms, and straddled
ont his legs; - "a,
Fe tinkered up her mouth ard nossyy 1hd everyl
other crack |
And there lay Mrs. s:ppi stretched out fat upon
her back.
But 10 when she was stiled but minute by the |
watch |
To gather up her strength and wrath against this
Then suddenly the sawder few with mud Jumps |
huge and round |
And plastered little Sawney till they mixed him |
with the ground.
Then Mrs. Sipp fell again into gentle snore,
And snoOsed along and snitf1ed, as for centuries
BEFORE
And then the skilful surgeons had prepared a /
proper way,
By which to breathe and take her food, as any.
body may;
Vow she can swallow cern and meat and cotton
by the bale,
And has as free an utterance as any live female
B1t as for little Sawney, with his tinker tools and
kit,
5e has filed bill for damages ard served her with
writ;
1e claims he caused a perfect cure, because his
trial showed
lis sawder was failure and SO left no other
mode
Except an ample outlet; and so without fal-lal
Ven have no tinker on work-a deep free ship
|