The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-05-08
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

WISE AND OTHERWISE.
"Rents are enormous as the loafeI
said when he looked at his brooches.
Why is the letter X like q pigs tail
because 1t is the latter end of pork.
Whom is soup likely to run out of tho
saucepan When there is a leak in il.
Doubtless the pulpit is SO called from
its ceaseless labors in pulling sinners from
the pit.
Aplatform philosopher says that man
falls In love as he falls down stairs-bv
accident.
Somebody wants American wives f.
study the difference between housekeen.
ing and housekeeping
A young man at a musical party beino
told to bring out his old Tyre" brought
out his mother-in-law.
The older the wise man gets, the wiser
he grows the fool, when he ages. he.
comes but an old fool
he who studies for a good purpose. to
him his study becomes blessing; to him
who does not, it grows into poison.
A chiropodist announces on his cards
that he has " removed corns from sew.
erai Of the crowned heads of Europe
Mr. Sinking says he has been married
Sixtppp wears and all tho ipoo,na 81.
have had to live on has been incQm -pat:-
bility.
IL "a single woman" writes q column
to daily paper deprecating marriage,
how much would she write if she were
double ,..
Remember this: they that will not be
counselled cannot be helped. If YOU do
not hear Reason, she will rap your
knuckles.
Influence, good or bad, comes not rrom
the opinions a man possesses, but from
the character he has formed and the life
he leads.
Jones, being told he looked seedy. and
asked what business he was in, replied,
The hard-wear' business-look at my
wardrobe"
Gracious me ~ exclaimed a lady in
witness-boX, how should / know
anything about anything l don't know
anything about ?"
A Chicago miss who went through the
tunnel under the river, exclaimed, on
returning home, 80, ma! we went over
the river under it,"
A young lady, Tuesday night at the
Post Office: :" If | don't get letter by
this mail | want to know what he was
doing Sunday, that's all"
A Georgia cracker" was offered four
dollars per day to labor, when he exclaim.
ed" Sir, dye s'pose I'd work when I've
just discovered Trash coon track?"
A Michigan manufacturer has eighteen
thousand broom-handles ready for ship.
ment. This ought to set husbands to
thinking about coming home early.
What was you brought up on ?" ask
ed rough western Judge of lean and
lank culprit. Brought up on a charge
OF vagrancy, believe, your honor"
Vermont man went over to an is
land to live as Robinson Crusoe did, but
his wife followed with a club, and his
solitary life lasted only three hours.
who cut your clothes, Tommy
asked visitor of curiously ragged boy.
Well, said he, ingeniously, INA cuts
my pants, and pa cuts my jackets"
A prudent matchmaking mamma ga
the following candid advice to her
daughter: "Oh, marry the man you love,
girl, if he is as rich as CrUsus'
A one-armed man has Just been mar
ried to a one-amed woman in Detroit
but we trust both will remember THAT
thrice is he armed who hath his quarrel
just.
A MEMBER of Congress lately rose in
his place, and solemnly declared, "Mr.
Speaker, cannot sit still here aud keep
silence without rising and saying u few
urorJc -