The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-04-09
FACTS AND FANCIEs.


"A noiseless hinge for saloon back
doors has been invented.
Never take your boots to be
mended by cObbler whom you have
offended, |
Antonio found Shylock to be ga
man after his own heart. e "a
Swallows are very scarce this
spring, which Is doubtless owing to
the temperance movement. r-la
The Danbury philosopher OBJ
serves that the placldity OF expires.
sion worn by a man who Is next"
In full barber shop, cannot he
counterfeited. -
1t is getting into the churches.
The Sexton n a Baptist church In
Troy has walked off with two thou
sand dollars of the pew rents.
A divorce lawyers advertisement:
"Hymenial incompatibilities, spec
iality, de.icately adjusted. IT'S slav-
ery to detain the hand after the heart
hath fed"
The climate of Nevada Is highly
favorable for consumptives, unless
they go to horse stealing, when 1t is
peculiarly unnealtny.
If everybody would pay every
body what everybody owes every
body, how easy it would befOr every
body to get out of debt and not owe
anything to anybody.
Next to the sweetness of having
friend whom you can trust is the
convenience of possessing friend
who will occasionally trust you.
1t is scarcely fair for a Californian
who heard IN Indian girl in opera to
say she was transformed from q
squaw to squawler.
Upon q man whose body was
found in river, a cOrOner's jury In
Ireland returned o verdict that the
individual came to his death by q
blow on the head, (which was given
either before or after drowning"
An Aberdeen philosopher has ex.
tracted the following reply from an
advanced free school lad to the query
"How is the earth divided ?" by
earthquakes, SIR"
Most every one will be surprised
to learn that 81 900 were collected fOr
the Washington monument last year
1t pays the salary of the Associations
Treasurer.
"A slip of paper on the doOr-post
of q New York clearinghouse an.
nOuncing lodgings to let, warns in
tending applicants that "NO perform
ers on brass instruments need APP
ply"
One of the oldest, ablest, and
best-known members Of the Suffolk
bar once dryly said that there was no
such thing as knowing what law was
until the Supreme Court had had its
opportunity to guess at it.
-"You're the leanest man | ever
saw" said an Alabama judge to lanll
and starve,l-lOoking culprit; "what
were you brought upon?" "On q
charge of vagrancy, l believe
your Honor" was the meek re-
ply.
--"That's just the sort of umbrella
that people appreciate, or, in other
words, hook" said Smiggles to a
companion one morning, showing
him handsome parachute. YES"
said his companion, 81 thought SO
when j saw you have it."
An old miser, who was exceed
ingly parsimonious, was obliged,
reluctantly, TO consult physician.
"What shall / do with my head ?"
asked the man. I" 1t is SO dizzy
seem to see double" The doctor
wrote n prescription and retired, say
ing, "When you see double you will
find relief if you count your money"
"A negro boy in New York, six
years of age, has picture primer
to teach him his letters. One of the
pictures is that of Il bull chasing a
boy, while the little Ethiop watches
from day to day, gleefully exclaim-
ing, "He hain't cOtched i'm yit."
Grace Greenwood, in letter from
Colorado, describes Typical "pOor
white family of Missouri, the
daughters of which were accustomed
to go barefoot until until the sOles of
their feet became as hard as horn (;
and then tells this story: zone of
these young ladies', Oh coming home
one day after long tramp in the rain
after the cows, was standing on the
hearth drying her clothes, when her
old mother drawled out "Sal, thar's
-coal-under--y yer foot"
The girl slightly turned her head, and
drawled back Which - foot