Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-08-13
miscellaneous.

Miscellaneous.
A legal-tender = The courtroom
doorkeeper.
One eyewitness is better than ten
hearsays.
Matchless maid-the kitchen girl
out of lucifers.
Keep clear of the man who does not
value his own character.
A man named his best hen "Mac-
duff because he wanted her to clay
on"
Advertising on eggs is a new en-
terprise. The example is good one
to set.
Who killed the most poultry
Hamlet's uncle, for he did murder
''most foul.''
1t is strange fact that wise men
learn more from fools than fools do
from wise men.
A bee cave has been discovered in
Los Angeles county, Cal, containing
a ton of honey.
"Corn bread?" said an Irish waiter,
Eve hain't got it; an isn't it corn
bafe yoa maneT
Interested parties out West are in
quiring if it is possible to train
Cinnamon to eat grass hoppers.
When Saratoga girl wishes to at
tend masquerade she appears in the
costume of sensible woman. No
body recognizes her.
Lady visitor-"My dear, do you
know if your mamma is engagedr
Little girl of the PERIOD Engaged?
bless you, why she's married"
The Niagara walters are coming to
their senses. They only charge $1.25
now for brushing a coat with a whisp-
broom, against $1.50 last season.
Noble lords are scarce at the wa
tering- place hotels, and cruel West
ern man accounts for it on the ground
that it is not time for the BARRIERS to
take their vacations.
Sing Sing Official-"If you have
any trade, prisoner, state it." Pris-
oner just entered )-"Well, boss, 1
was brung up a bartender, and I'd
like to go to work at that"
An officer in the Washington Navy
Yard announces that he has an old
reliable bunion which he is desirous
to exchange fora more modern sort
of barometer that will not get so ex-
cited at every little shower that
comes up.
"What is bull-head luck?' asks an
exchange. In the oil region a man
who eked out an existence on scrub
by, stony hills, at hoe cake and slap
jacks, run on the river, went barefoot
ed nine months in the year, took his
girl riding behind oxen, and then
sold out to some wise ~ spectators
for $2,000,000 cash, comes near
enough to satisfy the ordinary mind.
-TTtuSUiIIe Herald.
Apropos of the Presidents recent
visit to Hackensack, the Republican
of that village says: "There was
one man who lives in the county, and
happened in town for the first time in
quite while. He wanted to know
what all the bunting was displayed
for. He was informed that it was in
honor or General Grants visit.
General Grant! who's hep why,
the President of course The
President of what? The United
States OH"
The following testimony to the
virtues of patent manure was re-
ceived by its owner: ''Dear Sir
The land composing my farm had
hitherto been so poor that Scots
man could not get living off it, and
so stony that we had to slice our po-
tatoes and plant them edgways; but
hearing of your manure Iput some
on ten-acre field surrounded by a
rail fence, and in the morning 1 found
that the rock had entirely disappear
ed, neat stone wall encircled the
field, and the rails were split into fire
wood and piled up Systematically in
my back yard. THE Garden.
A lovely manner of avoiding sea-
sickness has lately been put in prac-
tice by an English traveller. He was
on board of steamer crossing the
British Channel between Dover and
Calais. On deck, right opposite our
Briton, was seated beautiful French |
actress who was going to London,
where she had an engagement for a
theater. The Englishmen was keep
ing his eyes rivited on the face of the
lady; whose patience being exhaust
ed, said to the islander: "Why are
you looking so persistently at mer'
The gentleman answered with an ex-
quisite politeness: MADAM, it is said |
that to avoid sea-sickness one must |
rest his eyes upon single point, and |
not stop a moment to look at the sea. |
You are the point which 1 have
chosen"
A Healthy Individual.