The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-06-12

SIF,7YNGS

SLF7ZNGS
Senator Jones, of Nevada, is worth
$1,000, 900 in gold. With that amount
Of money man needn't care very much
what his name is, but under the circum'
stances we would pay the Legislature a
million or two TO change 1t 10 Menomi-
nee, or something equally rare.
There is a travelling doctor in Dan.
bury, Conn, who goes from house TO
house, opens the door, sticks his wise.
looking head inside and sings out, "any.
body in here got the rheumatism, cough,
cold, neuralgia, heart.disease, smallpox,
or any thing else:' Upon being answered
In the negative, or not at al, he says,
"Glad OF II" bangs the door and goes on.
A London letter attributes to Queen
Victoria a piquant 60A NIT Some one
spoke disparagingly of Sir Charles bikes
criticisms of the civil list, whereupon
the Queen remarked: 1t is strange, for
remember having him as boy on my
knee, and stroking his hair. l suppose,
added her Majesty, after moments
pause, Il must have Stroked il the wrong
way
A female at confession acknowledged
that she used rouge. q" For what pur'
poSe?' asked the father. ITO make me
appear captivating" was the answer
But does ii make you more beautltu!:'
AT least, holy father, | think it does.
The priest took the penitent out of the
confessional into the light, and, looking
in her face, observed Madam, you may
paint without offence, for you are still
very ugly"
The King Of Pcr-ia once ordered his
viZier TO make out list of AL the fools IN
his dominions. He did so, and put his
maiesty's name at the head Of them, The
King asked him why, 70 which he immed-
lately answered, because you entrusted
lac Of rupees to men you don't know TO
buy horses for you thousand miles of,
and who'll never come back" "Ay, but
suppose they come back" Then shall
erase your name and insert ,heirs. -.
The statue of Venice, OF Parian mar
bic, which was found IN 1926 in the
town OF alcrone, Italy, among the ruins
Of an ancient theatre, has recently been
placed in the Louvre. The attitude and
the drapery OF this Venus resemble those
of the Venus of Milo 1t is thought that
these two and The Venus della Pigua, in
the Vatican, illustrate the same myth,
and that each belonged TO group COM
pleted by statue OF Mars.
The young Prince Imperial bears
striking resemblance 10 his mother,
though a budding moustache on his up.
per lip will soon destroy the likeness.
The Empress shows deep lines at the
sides of her mouth, and her face looks
weary and haggard. She wears little
Hat Grape bonnet, pushed back from her
worn face, and her whole dress and APP
pearanCe present striking contrast TO
the rosy, fair woman, with tresses OF
gold whom we saw a few years ago trail
ing her rich robes at the Tuilleries.
Chinese immigrants have shown them
selves very useful as laborcIs, washer
men, and some OF them as doctors. The
domains of law and journalism have here
totore been sacred from the almond
eyed. But now Truckee Chinaman IS
studying Blackstone and the Nevada
code, and intends shortly to hang out
his Sigu as an attorney and counsellor
at-law. lie proposes to work cheap,
and will probably get good deal Of the
business OF his countrymen, who are con-
Iinually, though unwittingly, in conflict
with prOscripuye laws and ordinances.
The uncomfortable fix some boiler.
makers at Dubuque, Iowa, got boy
INTO recently is an amusing Illustration
oi the necessity that exists Tor a general
preliminary survey o. operations to be
accomplished. The boy in question as
sisted the workmen, by remaining inside
The boiler to hold Il hammer against the
riyets while they were being headed on
the outside VI men the boiler was done,
the boy was needed inside no longer
but when he attempted to make a. exit,
the hole let Tor the purpose was found
TOO small, and il took SIX men three
hours to make Il hole large enough 10 re
lease him
Patrick Dinccn, o; Vermont. Wis,
died recently, leaving $4,000 disposed
of IN "A singular will \ nephew is IL
get 81 O00 il he will marry one of tire,
young ladies named; but il he refuse,
his share will 20 to another nephew
Still another nephew is allotted So, 900
the proyisO being that he shall marry j
cousin. A niece will get 5000 after mar
Tying German, ana hcI husband Will
have $500 more and fine span OF
horses A sister is mated with bach
elor clergyman, her share in the estate
upon obeyng the mandate to be 81, 900
II is said that all have refused their be-
quests under the conditions imposed
An honest deacon in Connecticut par
ish-his name was no. Richard Smith
was sorely troubled about the Copernican
system OF the universe. He believed it to
be unscriptural and untrue, and he car
ricd his doubts to his minister The lat
ter being in bis own eyes Il scientific man,
and also a believer in Copernicus, said the
sun was stationary body, not revolv.
ing, as the deacon maintained around tho
earth. But the latter pointed with an ali
of triumph to the story of Joshua when
he commanded the sun TO stand still.
Very well" said the minister "show
me, il you can, the passage OF Scripture
where il said Joshua ever commanded tie
sun to move again.
A worthy old Dutch woman named
Van Rhyn lived near Court House il
Pennsylvania, and the Judge of the Dis
trict found il convenient to leave Lii
robe there and call for it as he went {,
"a