The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-09-25

/
"A three card monte" expert is re
= ported to have offered tho directors oI
5 the Union Pacific railroad a bonus oi
$4,000 per annum for the exclusiv,
right to play his little game in their
sleeping cars.
A Miss Raikstraw, Of st. Oswald =
Grove, Manchester, has recovered ElOO
breach of promise 4 dumages from Joseph
@. Nottingham, Portsmouth engineer.
This is the sort Of thing Joseph used 70
send her during his years court
ship:
% ask not IL tho world unfold
A farer form than thine,
Tresses more rich in glowing gold,
And eyes OF n swectcr shine.
II is enough for me 10 know
Thou. too, art fair TO sight;
That thou hast locks % golden glow,
And eyes Of playful light
1t now requires Sl2O TO buy a sty.
lish French night-dress, such as an
aristocratic lady goes TO bed in, and
the man who is mean enough TO toss
down seventy-fve dollars and tell his
wife to make that do can never secure
a second wife.
PA, who is Many Voters asked
a young hopeful of his sire. "Dont
know him, imy son; why ?" "Cos i
saw you signin' his name 10 that letter
YOU got the other night askin' you 10
run for alderman" "Sh-h-h, my son,
here's a nickel 60 and get some candy"
Argue not with a man whom you
know to be OF a obstinate temper, for
when he is once contradicted his mind
is barred against all light and informa-
tion; argument, though ever so well
| grounded, provokes him, and makes
him even afraid to be convicted Of the
| truth.
"A Kentucky crusader confessed the
other day that che had kissed sixteen
men, and thus drawn them from the in
toxicating bowl. She gave the names
of the men, however, and their wives
are now inquiring with much anxiety
whether whisky drinking is as bad as il
is generally supposed to be.
The pounding Of the stomach for
the cure of dyspepsia was the cause Of
a good joke the other day. Two inen
were describing what they had done to
cure themselves. "Do you knead your
stomach ?" I-I-couldn't get along
without it !" responded the other, in
the last stage Of astonishment.
In one of the Cape towns a young
scholar, the first day Of school, was
asked her name by the teacher, and re-
piled. Her fathers name was the next
question, and she did not know his first
name. The teacher then asked her,
"What does your mother call him2"
"You Jackass," " said the child.
"A Detroit young woman tried 60 be
aristocratic, and did not look at the
money that she gave 10 a horse-car con-
ductor, but he meekly gave her back
the lozenge on which was written, "Ill
never cease TO love thee" and said that
he was an orphan with five little broth
ers to support, and must be excused.
"A miss, upon whose naxen curls
the suns Of fourteen summers had shed
their fervor, came home the other after
noon, weeping as il her heart would
break, and meeting playmate, eN-
claimed, in paroxysm OF grief, 90,
Dora, we were engaged 90 be married,
and Charley's got the measles
"A lady sitting in her parlor, and en-
gagged in the dreamy contemplation OF
the moustache of the young gentleman
who was 10 escort her and her sister 10
a musical festival, was suddenly awak-
ened by an ominous whisper in iuven-
lie voice at the door, You've got
AIMS teeth, and she wants en-"
The cash sales Of the grange coop
erative store at Los Angeles, Gal,
TO over $4,000 the first
They act as middlemen for all
farmers, both buying and selling. A
new paper mill is 10 be started, the cap
ital TO be furnished by the Changers,
and the water power donated by tho
city.
The Changers Of Montgomery and
adjoining counties Of Ohio held grand
picnic at Embury park, near Dayton,
August %. Not less than 10000 per-
sons attended. Addresses we're deliv-
cred by S. II. Ellis, master Of the state
and others. This was the larg-
est grange demonstration yet held in
Ohio.
An individual Of attentive turn Of
mind determined 20 test the boasted
orobity Cf the descendants Of the Pill
grim Fathers, and accordingly fastened
ais pocket book 10 Plymouth rock, with
, notice that the owner would call for
c on the following morning. When
le went to recover his treasure the noxt
lay he didn't find IL, but no saw sew
sral of the descendants" sitting on
he neighboring fence rails, waiting for
/ repetition Of the joke.
"A story is told of n New York re-
porter who, fearful that he might not
ret the address which was 90 be deliv-
red at the funeral of prominent cit-
zen, knelt beside the preacher while he
vas praying, abstracted the manuscript
rom the latter's rear pocket, and forth
With carried il Off. The clergyman,
linking his paper had been lost, deliy-
red himself extempOraneously, but
he next morning discovered his error.
lis written address being printed in full
II the newspaper.
Speaking of ten pins, a correspond
mt says: "You see, while n man
hooses a ball he can handle with
-raceful swing of his right arm, the
iris are bound to select the biggest
ne they can find. 'Toting' IL 30 the
tarting place, they go on n waddling
un half way down the alley, and then
et 90 their burden with n Bpitoful
hove, give a sigh OF relief, straighten
10 and walk back with a dignined air.
s il they didn't care where that ball
rent or whether il knocked down any
inns or not"
"A man is so much more polite in
hurch. He is on a dress parade, "a il
'ere. Nobody was surprised 10 SEQ
hat young man last Sunday dive sud-
emily to the bottom of the pew 10 pick
D her parasol. While he was at the
ottom he saw the embroidered edge Of
er pocket sticking from
nder the edge Of her dress. He com
lenced tugging at il, when here was
cree scufiie, and little hand darted
own. He came mp without IT, There
-ere two red faces in the sanctuary, 30
,hich the calm OF the blessed Sabbath
eemed to bring no relief. But he WIS
young man that meant we'll.
Boarding the Shah.