The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-08-19
SCRAPS.

l. llloSk NtkhSe'o cSSs
ting up a subscription.
Receipt for a hot breakfast-Ad-
n,ire yeur landlady's new bouuet.
An unpopular ism-The rhcu-
lnatism.
Measure your green according to
yopr black.
A little scandal is TO tea what
olive is to wine.
There is no substitute for thor
oughgoing,. ardent, and sincere
earnestness.
Never do anything hastily; re-
member it is the last cup of tea
which is the strongest.
Brucetown, Ky, has a colored
girl nine years old, who remembers
all she ever heard read or spoken.
Butter not your bread on both
sides, lestin your old age you be
left without bread to butter.
Ljun probabilities---'Mebbc snow
next week; mebbe heap damn
hot
A Memphis paper defines adver-
tising to be a 'blister that draws
trade
sHow Goliah was killed with a
sling is the title of a Maine cru
sader's lecture.
Jones says that why he isn't mar
ried is because that when he wooed
she wouldn't.
In Delaware the price for calling
the Court "a bloatcd old rhinoce-
ros,' is just S..
Charity Ann Burden. of Indian
apolis, has gone into the Divorce
Court to get rid of her Burden.
To secnre a scowl of perfect dis
gust from a woman, tell her that a
caterpillar is crawling on the back
of her dress.
A Buffalo editor never takes
time by the back hair. lie simply
casts the eye Of his mind across the
cbosm Of centuries.
It is considered a pretty well
settled fact that death has no terrors
for the man who marries a woman
after thirty years courtship of her.
: Col. Egerton, in the House of
Commons, said philanthropy is SO
energetic that lit requires a good
deal of influence nowadays to get
hanged
is them the common dog sas-
sage?' inquired a venerable looking
lady, as she surveyed a bunch of
bananas over her spectacles the
other day.
'It's forty years, my old friend
John, since we were boys together
sIsit? Well, don't speak SO loud !;
there is that young widow in the
next ROOM
A Pennsylvania bet $4,000 that
he could eat fifty quarts Of peanuts
in twenty-five hours. lie got away
with forty, and then death got away
with him.
Detroit Free Press: One of the
most vexatious things in the world
is to have your wite's uncle kicked
in the stomach by a horse, will you
$4,000, and then deliberately get
well.
Young gentlemen who have
wedding presents to make this
month, will be interested in know
ing that alligators can be bought at
Perry, Georgia, just now, for a
dollar apiece.
A darkey left in charge of tel
egraph office while the operator
went to dinner, heard some one
call over the wires, and began
shouting at the instrument: DE
operator isn't yer! The noise
ceased.
We often hear of people who are
too poor to marry, but California
couple, who had been engaged for
some time, married because they
could not afford to keep separate
rooms in boarding house.
Deserted by all except his aged
bob-tailed dog, his life went slowly
out as the shadows of the setting
sun crept over the front stoop OF
Darling's grocery is the way they
express themselves in Georgia.
; A Davenport newspaper speaks
of a doctor in that city looking
with deep-meaning smile upon a
large lot of green cucumbers in the
market. On his way home he was
observed to whisper confdentially