, 1874-07-26

| known to the constitution can hardly be rc-
! strained. thint ouch lobby inanence peril to
| tho Church. aud dread such precedent.
PIOUS AND PRoFANE.
There is good boy in Lisbon, if ne may be-
| 1ieye tho Lewiston Journal who whom ho found
1ia aged mothers Bible was OF too dno print for
hor failing eyesght, sold the book and bought
baseball bat and four sticks Of cheUing-ca
! 4 Boston clergyman expresses the belief that
| every member Of the last Congress- +" is destitute
| OF experimental religion"
| A Cleveland youth OF rather fast proclivities
! fell in love with = parsons daughter, md, as
clinchcr TO his claims, said to the reverend gen
tleman: II 60 my bottom dollar on piouaness,
| ard will pray you for stamps ca the spot"
| We lave a speaker who says good deal in
his sermon, and Is famous for ''t.h!" and = All t
johnnie. Of 10, went to hear u him: ~ aHo" dld
you Like tho sermon, Johnnie 2" said the father
| 'tWel. could not make much out OF H. But
the minister scemed greatly affected BY it."
Circumstances elter cases. For instance, when
| q Tirg1nian arose in church, and said: - Hare
8 hundred dollar bill for the old hoss behind the
| pulpit" no one thought Of having him put out
| A Methodist parson, called to preach at IN out
| of-the-way tovu in California, Was informed be-
fore entering the pulpit TINT he must bo careful,
| IS many Of tho assembled congregation were
| "roughy," aud would not hesitate to disturb
him Il his remarks didn't suit The holy man
| made NO reply, but having reached ths desk
| no took from his pockets two revolFers, aud,
| placing one On each s,de Of the Bible gave
sharp glance around tie house md said, F" Lot
! US pray" L more orderly ga1Yico was never
| conducted.
| A citizen Of country town, noted for his dis
honesty, WAS la.cly ta'.ca Tery II, md. becoming
alarmed, sent for Clergyman, who came to see
| H. fniI 1~, +haT RI r.
| great falthfu1ness and emphasis: The SICK nan
Tas much affected. end said, "Wel]. parson, I
! think You're right, and I've uads up my mind
that il get well shall in the f1ture live priu-
| cipatly honest"
AS1uday-echool teacher wishing his pupils to
/ haro clear idea Of faith, illustrated It thus
| +" uere is an applo-you SEQ It. and theretoro
know that it is there bus when place it under
this tea-cup you have faith that it is there,
though 5ou no longer see It,. Ihe laas , seemed aa
teacher asked them, ''Wnat is faith ?" they
answered with one accord, An apple under
| tea~cup."
| Said Presbyterian minister in Iowa to con-
vert who wished to be baptized or a recent Sun
| day: 40, wait until more are ready so that
| can make one JOB Of it"
There aro 1T present about forty women
preachers in this eouctrT, apropos Of which
| Punch has the following: " "Faterfanii!as lTAo
believes in tho enjoyment OF uomen) writes to
| ask whT young women should be kept out OF
tho pulpit whil' tho1e .re 80 many old ones
| in it 7"
! "Eotting," said An impatient husband, i" re-
| minds me 80 much Of BAlaan1 and his us two
| women stopping IN church and obstructiug the
| way to indulge iu their everlasting talk" But
| YOU forgot, my doar, returned the Wlto meek1y,
| - at il waa the angel who stopped the way,
| aud Balaam and his Tho complained OF it"
/ Tia Duchess Of Magenta fell going into
church rccontly but resalned her feet instantly,
md said to 81, ex- Minister ho had rushed to her
assistance, 'You see. II. 10 Due, can get up
quicker than Minister when fall"
Some young infidel says that to put your arm
around girls waist, when she wan:s you to, Ia
| q heap batter than religion.
Next to music nothing so powerfully tends to
| eoothe the savage breast Us to SEQ th8 young
! man who parts Lis hair in the middle showing =
baby-wcGon On sunday.
The coolest man has been discovered a. Troy,
n. Y. 4 funeral IVES in progress. just As the
| ccfiin waa .bout to be lowered iuto the grave =
young man stepped out from the crowd OF
| mourne1s, deliberately opened pen-knife,
Clipped splinter from the rough pine box in
| which the coffin encascd, and coolly proceed
cd to whittle out toothplck.
Q.-Why do Ritualist clergymen burn incense
! in church
A--ro lead peaple by the nose.
| Ata Presbyterian Church in Saratogs = SER
rion was recently delivered on the Christians
gutta toward the heavenly goal. He was described
as fcatherinS his with precision turning the
a;ake5oat OF life with FL tho resolution OF faith,
coming down tho desperate course Of the home
stretch with vigor, fixing his eyo on the heavoly
l:cferce and taking good care not to initiate til.
| disciple Judas and break his scull.
u1,ha ,;tast a;,,o- MAJ r.t,,rr ;, ,x,ots r;orx
,r.;aa;t IS.y 20, ~ h ia1 ';.h 1an ~ Ha
ote.u9u.at stls ~ no1 Ao'oA' "''A "AAo1a eno n@d
psdtoo IL a49'''
| Types continue to cut up antics, even in we'll
regulated ollices We infer from seeing john
| Brown announced aa " q linsedd preacher"
c.4;1 ,;,;.to., A. . .,.o,. 49,. -
t.:. = niavT',1 v;cyT of relir,o1s mattaTs .Tho
| MD p,,r;to on:c,1 hond 70 eoon rat hnln1 in fha
| holy yeina of thoso ..na5tors." There are at