Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1874-07-03

engagements in the immediate vicinity;
if so we will advise you" When he in
formed the Iowa Press Association: Z" /
find so many cares and duties pressing
on me, that, with the weight of years, /
feel obliged to decline any invitation
that takes me over days journey from
home;" out of this the recipients, in
consultation assembled, made: g. have
hominy, CARROTS, and II. r. ties, more
than | could move with eight steer. If
eels are blighted dig them early. Any
insinuation that brick ovens are danger
Gus to hams, give me the horror A
discharged employe became editor Of a
western paper on the strength of Gree
ley's Recommendation, said recommends
tion being really a letter of dismissal
but as no one could decipher any thing
but the signature, it was accepted for
what its owner claimed it to be.
We can readily believe any story,
however absurd, founded upon his eccen-
trio style of writing, after seeing the
small specimen of it, given not long ago,
by one of our illustrated papers. Con-
sidering that he scorned to make any
distinction between s, a, and p, and treat
rd p, b, and as identical in form, it is
no wonder the Sage's letters we're liable
to be sent anywhere but where he wished
them to go. One morning the Tribune
startled its readers with philippe
against careless post Office officials, wind
ing up with the statement that it took
four days for letter to go from New
York to Chappaqua, some thirty miles.
Mr.. Kelly at once sent to Chappaqua
for the envelope of the delayed letter.
1t was one of Horaces own, suggesting
somewhat the same intellectual specuia-
tion that would result from studying the
footprints of a gigantic spider that had,
after wading knee deep in ink, retreated
hastily across the paper. No clerk in
the post Office could read the address,
not even the chief of the bureau of
hards termed in England "blind
men," That official, however, recognized
the envelope directly when his superior
showed it to him. This thing" said
he, "came to me some days ago along
with other hards.' studied it at my
leisure whole day, but could not make
it out. | showed it to our best experts;
but what the writing, if writing it was,
meant, was a conundrum we all gave up.
Finally, in desperation, it was suggested,
as last resource to send it to Chappa-
qua, which happened 70 be right"
Expert as he was in making his pen
conceal his thoughts, Greeley might
have found his match among his own
countrymen. Mr.. Brooks, a railroad
manager, wrote to man living on the
Central route, threatening to prosecute
him forthwith, unless he moved barn
he had run up on the company's proper
ty. The recipient did not read the letter
because reading it was impossible, but
he made out the signature. and arrived
at the conclusion that the manager had
favored him with a free pass along the
line. As such he used it for couple of
years, no conductor on the route being
able to dispute his reading Of the docu-
ment. A great American lawyer will
never be appreciated by posterity as his
admirers would have him appreciated
one of them bas heaps of his letters that
have been awaiting publication for years,
for want of there being any one in Am
erica capable of reading them. SINH
larly the printing of some manuscripts
of the author of The Scarlet Letter "
is indefinitely postponed, because, since
Mrs. Hawthorne died, all attempts to
decipher them have ended in utter fail
ure. Fennimore Cooper wrote an ex-
ceedingly bad hand, still it could be read
with perseverance. Mr.. Emerson's hand
is described as sprawling and illegible
that of Mr.. Reverdy johnson, as an "il-
legible uniform scratch;" while that
popular preacher, Mr.. H. w. Beecher,
can hardly he considered model scribe,
seeing that one of his daughters owned
that her three guiding rules in copying
his manuscript were to remember that if
letter was dotted, it was not an I if a
letter was crossed, it was not a t, and if
a word began with a capital letter, it
did not begin sentence.
An English nobleman once lost all
chance of winning the lady of his love
through her interpreting his written of
fer of marriage wrongly. She took it to
be an offer of box at the opera for a
certain evening, and wrote short note
expressing her regret that she could not
accept his offer, as she was engaged"
Wellington, who wrote as he spoke,
plainly, was led into ludicrous blunder
through an unreadable correspondent.