Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-05-13

|
CHEMISTS say that no matter is ever
lost. Printers deny it; but it's no
matter.
DURING the privations of last winter,
charity fairly began to hum. See it?
| IHE defects of the mind, like those of
the lace, grow worse as we grow old.
8 A CHARACTER assassin" is what the
mayor OF st. Louis called reporter the
other day.
A REFoRMER is man who wears shiny
new rubbers on warm, dry days.
WHY is hen sitting on a gate like a
penny? Because its heads on one side
and it's tails ON the other.
By an lrlshman-Why is storm
when it's clearing up like castigation?
Sure, and is MT it a-bating.
Mrs. PARTINGToN is collecting auto
Gratis, and will be grateful for any spec
linens of the handwriting of extinguish-
ed characters.
| WRITER'S trouble themselves to am
pity what their readers trouble them
selves to abridge.
LEISURE is sweet to those who have
earned it, but burdensome to those who
get it for nothing.
USE what talent you possess. The
woods would be very silent if no birds
sang there but those who sang best.
SAY beware of all enterprises that
require new clothes, and not rather
| new wearer of clothes.
IMPOSSIBLE things are always being
done, else the world would have been
all moor by this time.
A EwHAvENp paper offers to exchange
six new poems on spring for bottle of
cough syrup.
IT is sure sign of an early spring to
see a cat intently watching small hole
in the wall.
WHEN deaf and dumb lovers are mar
ried, two members of the wedding par
ty are sure to be unspeakably happy.
PARALLEL bars are to be banished
from the Cincinnati gymnasiums. The
crusade, you know.
AN Arizona correspondent says that
| the liveliest camp that he found in the
territory was near Big Bug.
A MATTER-oF-FACT old gentleman
thinks it must be very small base ball
that can be caught on a fly.
THERE is sweet pleasure in contem-
plation. All others grow fat and insipid
on frequent use; and when man hath
run through a set of vanities in the
| declension of his age he knows not
what to do with himself if he cannot
think.
| H1GHLANDERs have the habit, when
talking their English, such as it is, of
interfering the personal pronoun chez
where not required, such as "The king
he has come" instead Of HThe king has
come" Often, in consequence, SEN
tence or all expression is rendered suf-
fciently ludicrous, as the sequel will
show. A gentleman says he has had
the pleasure of listening to clever
man, the Rev. Nh. Get his locality
be secret), and recently he began his
discourse thus: "My friends, you
will find the subject of discourse this
afternoon in the First Epistle General
of the Apostle Peter, fifth chapter and
eighth verse, in the words, sThe devil
he goeth about like a roaring lion,
seeking whom he may devour.' Now,
my friends, with your leave, we will
divide the subject of our text to-day
into four heads. Firstly, we shall en-
deavor to ascertain Who the devil he
was Secondly, we shall inquire into
his geographical position, namely,
Where the devil he was,' and Where
the devil he was going Thirdly and
this is Of personal character Who
the devil he was seeking And fourthly
and lastly, we shall endeavor to.solve a
question which has never been solved
yet, what the devil he was roaring
about