The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1874-06-10
a coorrRsrowNER on Bons,

about a Job that was put up on him
DEAR REGISTER - Useless useless
If I've tried once / have tried dozen
times to sit down and write you reg
ular old scalp.peeler and skyseraper
of letter.
1t isn't that L love Caesar less l |
meant it isn't that | am unable to do |
the mental part o. the proposition
beautifully, but it is that | am unable
to sit down.
How common the written sentence /:
| sit down to pen a few les--I mean
lines, etc. But bow much unwritten
anguish may result from the attempt
How gladly l would say it IL
could: 1t is with pleasure, dear Reg
stcr, that sit down TO announce to
you the arrival of d boy, etc.
But, good gods, how can l?
Ths thought of sitting down makes
me boil.
The thought of the boil prevents my
sitting.
The fact OF the boil makes me mad.
And the act of sitting makes me leap
like unto the hurried sky-rocket.
Why, my love, haven't sat down'
in five weeks-or anything else-to
stay.
l am a m)st miserable, miserable
man.
Along at first ] tried to do my writ
ing for the Atlantic Monthly (ssh y at
my desk, but becoming absorbed in
thoughts of those things that are be-
fore, and forgetting those things which
are behind, | would pull forward my
tall desk stool and settle. Then /
would unsettle, quick.
Aud there would follow prolonged
and dismal howl of pain, wild
trampling to and fro; one arm waving
like our banner in the sky and the
other holding the pantaloons away
from the young volcano.
So behold me now, supported under
my arms by my Revolutionary grand
mothers quitting frames, which reach
from piano to mantle piece; with
pair of light summer tr0uses on, which
are kept distended and away from that
boil by fish hook, cord and sta
pie in the wall = all drawa taut.
And yet | am not happy.
Why, if u. S. Treasurer Spinner
should say to me, "here, George, sit
down on this half cord of greenbacks,
and they are yours" should answer,
Ego way, Spinner; | don't want your
dueats. am not hungry. Tend to
your own knitting, | know my bust
ness.
My wife says my affIiction ought to
develope any religious tendency that
may lay dormant in me. She thinks
it has. In the early stages of my suf-
ierings she says she awoke one silent
night and heard me, she was sure.
quotingsScriptute aud Watts hymns
Lord love her. but l wasn't, you
know. l was doing the other thing
l. G., reciting from profane history
from that part where the D-amorites
poured red hot pitch down upon the
damsels who crossed the dam just
where the lordly Tiber was dam'd near
the gates of Hellespont.
George" said she softly, some time
afterward, George, I am afraid | was
mistaken the other night. / now be.
lieye that your language, which hope
fully and joyfully thought to be the
expression of contrite and grace
seeking soul, was swearing Why, oh
why dear, dost thou not think more
often of redemption and you latter
end"
Thunder, madam I" I screamed
"you don't know what you are talking
about. Think of my latter end? I'm
always thinking of it. | couldn't for
get it if / was stepped in oblivion, ol
surrounded with cotton bales Why
| was telling a funny story to party
the other day, and he comes up TO me
and he says: odd man, that was {
bully thing; you ought TO be minis
tcr,yo ought. You could make a con
congregation cry by tellin' Of 'em {
Joke, and then he slapped me on tb,
thigh-on the thigh, woman-on whicl
Ann Guish and Miss Fry hold frs
mortgage! Think of redemption
Why, female, did you give half th'
attention TO keeping the Jumps out o
my poultice that 1 do in pondering oil
the efiusions, of that old Bible scholar
Job, who used to soar so in blanl
verse, you'd be better and richie
wife"
Withered, she wept.
l. was softened. / could not Sc
those tears unmoved. What NAL
could? approached her,as she Sd
rocking to and fro in her chair.
Dearest" l murmured, "why thos
weeps? Don't cry. am sorry / sal
70 anvtb linn, ,vha,, 1 enoEa Too had 10