The Portland daily press., 1874-01-13
THE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING, JAN. 13, 1874.
Gossip and Gleanings.

TUESDAY MORNING, JAN. 13, 1874.
Gossip and Gleanings.
Full many a turkey is now ghost that
one short week ago was goblin.
The best way to discipline ones heart
against scandal, is to believe all stories to be
false which ought not to be true. .
A Boston lover committed suicide the 9th
er day before perpetrating matrimony. He
merely got the cart before the horse.
They are getting so fastidious in Alabama
that an office-holder who turns thief can't ex
pect his wife to move in firss-class society any
more.
The worthiest people are most injured by
slanderers; as we usually find that to be the
best fruit which the birds have been picking
at.
A western journal, upon learning that
Rhode Island is crowded, suggests that the
governor of the state be authorized to hire
one or two families to go West.
A man writes to editor for S4, ''because he
IS so Internally Short" and gets in reply the
heartless response, "Do as l do; stand up on
chair" " Aaa -e- 77-E'r-
.... ..f
A nitro-glycerine factory has recently been
established at Port Henry, N. Y, the pro-
prietor Of which bears the highly suggestive
name of Boost
A colored voter in Hudson, according to
the Star Of that city, was heard to remark re-
Gently, ''1ts very hard that fellow can't sell
his vote, the only thing he has to sell, and a
hard winter coming on"
The President made speech at the con-
elusion of the reception, speaking substan-
TALLY as follows: ''When / put on these
gloves they were white. They are almost
black now.'
emma" said little girl to schoolmate,
swouldn't it he awful if somebody should
shoot our teacher?" ''Yes," was the reply,
''but then wouldn'tit be nice not to have any
school,"
A Michigan newsdealer recently received
this order from young lady: ''Send me a
Novel called buffalo bill and the dais doins."
Contrary to what might be inferred, she was
not from Boston.
The inventor of bricks of ice cream is now
applying his massive intellect to the manu.
facture Of bricks of milk punch, which will be
so put up as to be convenient for carrying in
the hat.
A benevolent Chicago man carries strips Of
tissue paper, of the greenback size, for the
especial benefit of blind beggars, but, after
six weeks's trial, he has only found one men
dicant who will take them.
1t has got to that pass when man can
be presented with gridiron but that re-
porter is sent tor and requested to give the
history OF the man, his family. his dog, and
an allusion to the man who made the grid
iron.
A man from the country, whose wife hat
eloped and carried off the feather bed, was il
Louisville in search of them-not that he car
ed anything about the wife, 'but the fealh
ers,'' said lie, ''them's worth forty-eight cert
pound"
| A long-sufering county superintendent
driven to desperation, fred at an impOrtunate
book agent yesterday, but no serious injury
was done, the ball striking the book agent
fairly on the cheek, chippedoff piece OF met
al and passed on.
Eli Love, of Wayne County, climbed tre'
to shake out coon. The expectant dogs
hearing something drop, jumped to the con
clusion that it was coon, and Eli was hall
way devoured before the mistake was recti
fed. The dogs were intensely mortified, ant
Mr.. Loves leg was broken in the fall.