Litchfield enquirer., 1874-12-10
November 10th, 1874.
CLIPPINGS.


 Arose" by any other name would be got up." The rustic of the hustle is heard again in the land
 Never wait for something to turn up, but go and turn it up yourself.
 An Indiana father crawled under corn crib and wept when his daughter married m astronomer.
 Josh Billings says that in the beds of many hotels ''yu sleep sum, but roll over q good deal.
 Married life often begins with rosewood and mahogany, and ends with pine. Instances of Elen who go down on a piece of orange peel and get up and think as much of themselves as they did before are rare.
 Mrs. Celia Burleigh writes from Dans- vile, N. Y., to friends in this state that she is improving slowly, and hopes some time to resume her pastoral duties.
 The Young Mems Christian Associa- tiOn of Chicago talk of moving to some city where it won't be such hard work.
 Song of the next Congress: For of all sad words of tongue or pen The saddest are these, -''We shant have BeE."
 The conduct of New England church Organist has led the vestrymen to the sin gular discovery that they have nave in the choir.
 The name of the St. Louis Journal par agraphist is Waterloo, and when his friends get mad at him they address him as "Waterloonatici" as
 The Mammoth Cave is for sale. It is not offered in lots to suit purchasers. You must take the hole or none.
 HoNever sweet-scented lady killer may be, he is only poor dandy lion, and not wUrth the time for. any Maude to come into the garden. % -'
 A man in New Jersey had not been to church for twenty years. Last Sunday, he went, had his pocket picked of f$35, and IS now pronounced heathen.
 Mir. Stokes now suddenly declares that he is an innocent man. We believe Capt. Kidd indulged in some remarks of the kind just before they let him fall
 Noah Count says he hates churches where the ministers make him sleepy, and then, if he yawns, sarcastically invite some brother to ''ciose that window" Mrs. Burlington writes to say that she can't make out why all the ''help' she gets are so stupid, when she IS always particular to obtain them from an intelli- gence office.
 Rev. Glendenning's defense is that the woman ran after him and showed him too much partiality. This tendency on the part of the woman to show partiality for the pastor, is one of the reasons why we have steadily declined becoming preach ee.
 A minister who came into church dur ing a sudden shower, requested another to preach for him, as he was very wet. "No," said the other, "preach yourself: you will be dry enough in the pulpit"
 When Q woman buys a dress pattern and brings it home and finds out that she doesn't like it, you can't drive away her melancholy by reading a chapter in the Bible or singing one of pr. Watts poems.
 Well, my friend,' said the pastor, "what induced you to send for me?" The patient, who was rather deaf, appealed to his wife, ''What does he say?" 'sHe says," shouted the woman, "what the deuce didyou send for him for?'
 Johnny's essay on '"The Tode": Todes IS like frogs, but more dignity, and wen you come to think of it frogs is. wetter. The warts wich todes is noted for can't be cured. for they is cronick, but if I could ent git vel Ide stay in the house. Nv grandfather knew a tode wich some body had tanned til it was folks. Wen it's mas ter wissled it would come for flies. They cetches 'em with there tung, wich is some like long red werm, but more-like liten- m, only litenin haint got no gum onto it. The fiji will be standin rubbin it's hine legs to gather and thinkin wat a fine fiji 1t IS, and the tode a settin some distant way like it was a sleep. Vile you are see- Tn the fiji as plane as you ever sec any thing, all to once 1t aint there. Then the tode he looks up at you sollem, out of his eyes, like he said watts become of that fiji? but You kno he ct it.