Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-10-12

Lord Lord, how this world Is given
to lying But Who IS doing it sll 2 That
IS the question
Statements" Il the last new word
which has been forced On the lOng-saFer-
ing American people
It Is said that four women cut Of FIVE
stick the postage stamp on the left hand
corner Of the envelope
No young nan IS pruof against Il gun
drop when she holds 1t between her
teeth and invites him To take bite
The Pro7ide0ee Press seems offended
because Budd Doble said that Goldsmith
Maid could trot across Rhode Island in
two minutes
Peter IL. Of Brazil, Is said 10 De the
richest n00arch IN the world. and there
are many who would like TO be Peter
two
Thomas Jeferson's armchair IS f0r
sale IN Detroit Buy It. somebody, and
burn it. and then it wOn't be for sale
again
San Francisco calls herself IN enter
priSing city. but she hasn't found 4
Charley Ross yet. and Vermont laughs
her To seoru-
In japan the law requires that wheu
: person CUTS down tree he shall plant
one in It's place George Washington
owes his eouutrya 4 tree
One of the ueansst little things On
earth Is To throw . small watsruel0u
and hit POLITICAL speaker IN the pit Of
the stomach Just Is he Is explaining the
Dred Scott decision
Said : Detroit lzdy ID ! snail boy
whom she found crying in the street. the
other day; -WilI y0u stop crying If
give you penny 90 .-No. said he: bu,
II you'l make 1t tEo cents III stop II II
kills me-
Some man in Boston publishes . pa
per called the KiRgLdzz cf Hsgrsa- fol
seventy-6ve cents q YEAR. OF course il
Is ! bogus affair The genuine King
dam Of Heaven can be had without mon.
ey and without priee-
Il lady who asserts that her opiniou
Il based On close observance saws that
men as ! rule. regard their wiEes Is An.
gels fur just two months north be.
fore marrying them. and = month aftsl
buryIng them
4 Freedman learning the English
language complained Of the irregulzrity
Of the verb 10 CO. the present tense q
which some wsg had written cut for hin
as follows: Il 90; th0u stzrtest: he
departs; We lay tracks; you cut sticks
they AbsqUz5Ulzte OF skedzddle-
Soue Of the regular soldiers sen
West have married zquaEs and are do
/ ing their best To eivIIize the uoor. ig
n0rznt redskins As so0a as squav
gets On pair Of army boots and bras
chain, she begins 10 act refined and "a
dy-Eke-
/ 1t having been asked By one curi0u
IN the causes Of thiings, why two-thiird
Of the hotel eleIks are bald. keen ob
server gives it Is his opinion that It ma
De because the forces Of nature hav
been diverted fron the scalp TO the eUI
tivation Of supernatural cheek
The soyzter war" between Virgins
and Maryland oTsterDen has aIread,
commenced for this season and nov rage
intensely. The Eastern Shore Is said 1
be IN quite L stew upon the sa5jeet. EhiI
the Virginia Inspector openly propose,
70 'ruazs' zome Of the oyster pirates re
Gently If he e1uld only capture the shell
fish ErstehesL
I Lines-n0t BY Tennyson. but By son
body else:
-T~ us.zfzha- za1 the zs1zTur zuz
Is rus5zz Il 1he I'm. sE EEsz
Eae s3z 1l9E leaves [zE1F zesa=
Z The penzTEs ga1zs art. sCor-iTa CIV
EZzTi10s Gag frum 1oGza e. heuEh
Il should like 'C0urtshIp and Mzr
risge, and The Best Of Huz6andz.
said > pretty girl. tripping into Bread
way bookstore Il think can I'll tia
bill. Mss" replied the dzpFer y0un
salesman Hare you Ten Thouszn
. Year 2T'
A minister was C1ee preaching ah0U
heaven. and 70 show the zhszriIty (
SEe1enbergs ideas. drew graphic d
ture of the Swe1e1horgIan hezTen. Wit
It's beautiful fields. fine hoFses- COWS IN
pretty women when, IN the midst Il b
glowing description. oUe cf the sistel
went into rzutures- and shouted sz5IOrr
gI0ry, glory :" This 50 disc9ueerted Il
preacher that he paused. when sn elds
cried oat 10 tie shCuser, Hold On tLer
sister you're shouting over the wrUu
heaTenIH
At recent trial. an Aberdeen yogn
lady gut into the witness box u Dc q
zuIned. when the f0lloEIng eouverzss1a
took place betEcen her and the Opposin
counsel: .-H0E old are y0az Nj
Jzne-Oh. wesl. sir. / an sn unnzrTie
Eouzu, and dInnz think Il right % a
sver that question The JGdge-sO
yes. answer the gentleman h0E old 70
zEe" Hiss Jzne--Weel-zEeel. | =
fifty. CoUnsel--.ATe yOu not EoEe
Miss Jane--Weel. l an sixty II
ingui=itive lawyer still further asked
she had any hOpes q getting marie
to which Miss Jane replied -.Weel. si
Wilma tel lee; | hinna lost EoI
yet;" seOrnfaIIy adding. .-but / WidE
marry you far / an sick and tired . "a
palaEer already