The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1874-03-19
Mark TWAIN.
He WOrks UP That ssIntcrro&9ebCn
Point Again for Canon AAn1sieyis
Benefit

"fncHt.
[speech q. tho Press Dinner in Boston]
LADIES AND GEs1LExES:-I don't kno'
that have tie faculty Unborn in Amer
cans which Mr. Kingsley has called you
attention to, but if baven'tit ! shall no
take this occasion to confess II laughter
and no. having ever been to school, hay
not the faculty Of declaration which tn
I President speaks Of And as only knew
two bours ago that l was to be here, hay,
naturally come without any speech, becaus,
never knew a man who could deliver ar
impromptu speech With only two hours &c
get it up in. Laughter and applause. J.
But the presence here of Mr.. Kingsley
Canon kingsley--his title canon has always
been puzzle to me laughter but his
presence here suggests to me an episode of
my own, recently, and as, under the old
regme-I cont know what the old regime
is,bus it is something that used to e1iss be-
fore, when called upon ycu had the priyi-
lese of either telling an aneciote or of
singing song. Never having sung song,
at least having never succeeded in singing
a song, am still perfectly willing to try
now but am afraid it would be disagree
able 70 the audience, &c | will tell an anec-
dote. When ! was crossing over from En-
land, the other day. there was youth on
board about sixteen years old, whose ma
tionality will not expose, who occupied
his entire time eating, when there was any
thing to eat, and thinking about the next
meal between times. [L.ughterl | don't
| say he Put his mind to it, for he didn't
seem to have any mind. When sent out
from the table he used to 90 up into the
smoking cabin, and lie around there asking
foolish questions. This boy never asked a
question in the whole voyage that india
ted the presence Of knowledge OF any kind
whatever, ana he came to be perfect nui
sance to everybody, and we tried all posi-
bic ways of crushing him and making him
stop asking these questions
But as SID, Canon kingsley reminds
me OF one occasion when | came up into
the cmoking-r3oIn, in very i'll humor,--not
in the humor man ought to be in to listen
patiently to silly questions. The question
the boy began with was agg.avating, be.
cause anybody knows that the first place
man goes to when he reaches London is
Westminster Abbey, and the next place is
Shakespeare's burial ground ard that
this body should ask me deliberately and
with such innocence about him as he had,
if, when / was in London, went to West
minister Abbey. That is enough to make
man frantic. | said, what was i. YOU
said ?" when yon wsre in London were
you at Westminster Abbey?" No."
said, 81 stopped at Langhams ho.el.p-
Laughter. But he said, '.it is not
hotel" Laughter. "Well, said, what
is it % ''Why. it is church." | said,
~ minute ago you said it was an abbey"
well, he said, "iti an abbey and church,
too | said, IL don't knox about that
You appear to be getting confused in your
statements how can it be an abbey and
church at the same time p Laughter
There was another gentleman sitting there
whose nationality will not mention, who
sand 1t was perfectly true that an abbey and
church were the same thing. ! said was
much obliged TO him flaughterl !, and asked
him ''Where is this place, this church
is 1t in London - "Oh yes ~ he says, "cf
course it is in London. You know where
the Parliament buildings are ~ lis it part
of the Parliament - "No," said he
"What has Parliament got to do with it,"
| asked. at has not got anything to DO
with it; the abbey is close by it, Said |,
''Do you know how far Westminster Abbey
is from Langham's hotel, where lived p
lie said, 81 suppose you know it is some
distance" Said |, "Of course it is some
distance" Five or six miles" said he
But, said |, didn't you suppose knew
better than to get up early in the morning
and travel four or FIVE miles to church,
there are plenty of churches all around p
lie said, II didE't expect you to go to
church" Said |. What did you expect
me to do p lie said, "Look at the monu-
ments and things monuments of every
body that has done anything and is dead
their bodies are buried there. Il said, '.Do
you mean to say that they actually take up
{ RI IL. l.. I ~
lie said there were no panks there said,
DO they bury them right under tie seats?"
He said. of course they do" Said |, as
that healthy p Laughter. "W ELL" be
sail, 81 don't know whether it was healthy
or not they do it in all churches" ! said
It was curious custom. | never heard
anything ike it. If any Of my friends
were in Westminster Abbey, | should not
KANT people sitting round on their tomb.
stones. Laushtcr.l He sail, "You didn't
hear the canon, thea p ~ don't remem-
Der, said 81 an q man of peace. and
don't know anything about artillery, anv
way Laughter ana applause BY this
time the boy had not yet walked up, but the
rest of the company which had gathered
around had, and SO we stopped the fun
As there Is no moral to the anecdote, |
won't attempt to put any to it. But, as
said, in the ahsen of having = speech to
make I" ven, | thought would simply tell
an anecdcte in honor Of Canon Kingsley
/ Applause.
Kanaka Simplicity and Hospitality.
A recent letter writer in Honolulu saws