The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-03-05
WHITTLINGS.

J. e + E
{ A Circuit, Court 1.-The longest way home
trom kingng..SchoOi. s~3
| Hood called the slaminlng ct a door by a
person IN II passion ~ woodeA sath."
| An exchange teiis OF an "anderta king
wisely abandoned hsiors it WAS begun"
An lmpecunlous citizen SAID the only
chang he was allowed was that OF the
aealher. a.a
i A Pennsylvania farmer offers premlum
chrome with every load OF manure bought o,
nm.
| The editor OF q weekly paper says
ih.'e has been another burglary IN town
since our last"
The present fashionable item is mauuiac-
lured oaI OF old ladies Of i03 or Sc, WHO can
thread needles.
| The roy Wing preterds that all those
pre.'y girls that afe missing from Western
| towDs s,e in Trey Don't believe it.
| a butcher rece ntiy found shaw'"pin in q
| COW ht wa cutting up into steaks. 1t 10
sur posed the animal hAa swallowed mlk-
inaid.
| Broker - How arg you off for money
his morning - Cashier III am off v:h |
tat little there was ia the bank Good-hy.
saperannua'ed minister says 81 have
been guilty. OF dong one thing for which
| he church will not forgive me | have grown
0 d.
Somebody says that one.iegged soldiers
should be remembered. [Sonrbody SAID
his years ago. Can ''somesody" be ind'ct.'
ed?]
An Iowa gentlemen recently shot a. post
master tor refusing to lick postage stamp
'or the amlahle ard accomplished wits OF the
shooter.
Justice Haines. of Chicago. has decided
hat editors are professional u.tn, and that
neir scissorS. paste pot. ETC., cannot De seiz-
sd tor dSbt.
Adam had one cancellation when he fell.
on the opposite corner and laugh at his MIS-.
hap.
"hs ber-keepers have tailed to determine
now much honey q single bee produces in
year. This important subject should not be
overlooked.
Yes, my hearers {" said Wisconsin mil.
lister, "littlc Johnny Glenn skated INFO heav- -
N by wsy OF an air hole on GreeL Lake. aud
he Is happy now"
A man writes TO an editor for four dollars.
because he ia so terribly short" aud gets
n reply the heartless response do as DO
stand upon chair"
There are two reasoas why some people
lon't mind their OWE bnsiness. One 10 that
hey haven't any business, and the other Is
nal they haven't ang mind.
Two hearts tnat beat rs one are singulariy
blrvious 10 mud. We never knew man
eve tie circulate petition for new pave
lent OF an additional lamp..post.
An OK that had been eatiRg iermsnted
rain, which Was in preparation for making
lie, became in oxlcated. Aad was offered fer
he by his owner as ''cSfn.d beef
The following advertisement is posted
ear Western depot on tina front OF q small
.staurant Lunch twenty-five cents
inner. atty a real gorgs. seventy five
.nts.'
What beautiful, soft suntue sky" sad
yoang LADY OF good taste, when she saw
ur premium chrome, "Per;enherg." This r.
what The Rome, N T.. Sentinel saye.l -
The ed itor of the Trey Wing asked MS
.,an, How navy scruplas there should be {
a drashm - and all the little wretch an" =
wered was that arithmetic wouldn't warm :
is stomach In winter. p
There mrst be l;mit.--Dugald. 81 saw
G wir nae at the kirk tbs day, Tonsi." g
nald.--''Yeer reel l had nae coppers for
he plate, and need Inc threepinny bit for q
ahawky the morn" W
Bookkeeping may be taught In single
.ssoa OF three words-Never lend them.
The frat thing promising youth said to =
dog presenting his nose nj his heels, was
Go way Do You think I'm bone ?''
For pure grit aud lsng'.csntiuued patience
'ou ought to 80 to Toledo. a young lady
u that town has sent li6 pieces CT poetry q
- newspaper, and though all have been
si, cted, she Is struggling with another.
Chester Pike broke HE leg in Concord
nd was carried home His wife Was fright
;npd. and 10 running to rn~A4 hin Tell over L
dog. breaking her arm. Now. !! we could
,uly ad cat what happened TO the dog,