The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-05-08
MISCELLANY.
ne Baa Bor.



chewed plug tobacco, and loafsd around
select schools and put tin ears on boys
smaller than himself His father Was
killed by Canada saw-log, his only sis-
ter alspt in the silent tomb, and his
mosher divided her time between gos-
siping and canyassinE money for the
heathens in Africa.
CHAPTER H-THusLY.
Thus-it will be seen that there was no
one to give John Henderson Tompkins
any domestic attention beyond an occas-
ional whack with slipper, which made
him the worse. He wasn't sent to
school; never had TO take a dose of cas-
tor oil; was allowed TO go around with
letter in the post-ofice and his pants
supported by magnificent belt of sheep
twine, and ifhe wasn't home at 10 o'clock
at night his mother felt perfectly sure
that he would dump down somewhere
and be home in time for Goldfish and POI
tatoes IN the morning.
m-sH1MEFUL NEGLEcT.
John Henderson Tompkins' mother
never took him on her knee and asked
him IL he knew what was beyond the
BRIGHT stars, and If be knew where he'd
70 to If he grew up an awful liar and
horse thief. She ever told him about
the Children Of Egypt, Moses in the
bulrushes, or Daniel in the lions den,
and IL Is no wonder that he grew up to
he bad boy she didn's hsres have
sticking pIasters ready when he got
cut; and Sunday mornings there was no
one 10 rub him behind his ears, fill his
eyes with soap and water, and comb his
hair the wrong way.
CHAPTER Iv-HIs PECULIARrTIEs.
Everything which happened in the
village was laid at John Henderson
Tomplxins' door. HIt's some of that
boys work, )" they said, whenever a bush
ell Of plums, watermelon or peck of
peaches niysteriously disappeared. He
was probably guilty of everything
charged, a. when he died they found
where he had hidden seventeen stolen
COW bells, forty axes, ever SO many saw
bucks, fifteen or twenty front gates and
I can't remember how many shovels.
CHAPTER v-DOWN ON HIM.
In time, as the reader was informed
in previous chapter, the adult male
population Of the village got down on
John Henderson Tompkins. Old maid
jabbed Mt him with umbrellas; merchants
anng pound weights at him; ahos-makers
dcsed him with strap-oil, and the gro
cars always looked around for John
Henderson when they wanted to heave
out bad eggs and spoiled fruits.
cHAFTEL Wits AMBITIONS.
You might think they would have
eventually succeeded in breaking the
boys spirit and dashing his hopes, but
they couldn't do it. He had the ambi.
ton which nothing TO check. He want
ed to be bold pirate and sail the rag
ing main, and he was patiently waiting
for the time to come when he could wear
No. 10 boots and swear in voice like
the echoes of bass viol. He would be
content to crawl into henroosts and to
creep around horse-barns for few years,
but then--but then
CHAPTER vII-EFFoRTs AT REFORM.
Some of the more philanthropic citi-
zens made strenuous efforts to reform the
boy. They locked him up in a smoke
house tor week; they clubbed him un-
til he couldn't yell, and they held him
under pump until he was as limp as a
rag, but as soon as they let him go he
went right back to his old habits again.
CHAPTER vIII-NEARING HIS END.
John Henderson Tompkins had kept
this thing up for eight or nine years
when our story opens, and he was near
ing his end. Justice overtakes the
guilty sooner or later, and justice was
laying low for this bad boy. He had
the cheek to believe that he would live
to be a hundred years old, but he was to
be taken down peg or two, and his
mother left an orphan.
CHAPTER IH-THE END.
One day while in the hey-day of his
wickedness, John Henderson TompkinS
came upon something new In the line Of
plunder. 1t was pile of little cans la
beled "Nitro Glycerine- Of
Dangerous Poison" etc, but he couldn't
read, and he didn't care copper. He
carried a can behind the meeting house
and sat down on a rock to open it. There
wasn't any guardian angel around to tell
ham that he'd get bushed If he fooled
with that can, and so he spit on his hand:
and gave il a whack on the stone.
CHATTER x-oBTTUARY.
The folks all ran out, and after good
deal of trouble they found and separated
the pieces of Westinghouse from tht
pieces of boy. and they got togethel
enough of John Henderson TompkinI
to fill cigar-box and answer as the ba
sis of funeral. They buried the re
mains in q quiet nook, and the grave
stone maker put little lamb on TIL
.headstone to show that John Henderson
.Tompkins was meek and lowly.
NJ. QUAD.
M Not pnfanY, VoruU HARRIS