Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1874-09-09
Naming the Baby

books for a name, and as the sixth of the
latest editions of Smudge was indicative
of toll in the ranks of men, as the infant
looked strong--almost warlike-a great
name was the quest Of its distracted
parents. Mrs. s. wanted it itnamed. some
Bible character, Smudge suggested Sam
son Goliah which would typify strength.
Mrs. Smudge leaned to Moses Samuel,
emblematical of weakness.
Smudge had declared that he would
expose the child to the measles before it
should be nicknamed Nose or Sam.
Then he limited at Jonah; but Mrs.
Smudge would listen to no such mono
gram. She didn't want her child name
connected with the fish story Already
they had named child Hsman, and she
was sure that he would be hanged some
day. Seeing that no Scriptural name
could be agreed upon, she suggested
Omega, reminding Smudge that they
bad named their first child Alpha. =.
you can't call this one Omega, said
Smudge. "I'll put the name away, and
when we want it I'll let you know. How
would Martin Luther do2"
IN Baptist | am Smudge! re-
torted Mrs. c., coloring II don't want
any Lutheran names in this house. For
your mothers sake allowed one of my
children to be called Jonathan Wesley.
She don't poke any Methodist names on
me again. If Luther had been Bap.
list the name might do There's Rodger
Williams. Rodger Williams Smudge
sounds we'll. He could write it r. Will
liams Smudge, you see.
But he never will, cried the parent,
with determination. Rodger Williams
was Baptist, and you know, Mrs.
Smudge, that don't lean that way. I'd
sooner call him Tom Paine.
Call him Tom Paine and I'll kill
him before he's weaned
You like Puritans, Mrs. Smudge.
Call him Miles Stsndish.
No, sir l don't want my child to
grow up with any such outlandish name.
You called our second boy Plymouth
Rock Smudge, and that name will kill
him before he votes. No more Puritan
names"
you're the confoundedest particular
woman / ever saw" retorded Smudge
If it had been a girl we would have
called her Cleopatra Octava.
No we wouldn't. Our fourth girl
now groans under the name of Olympia
Tarpei. 1t will make her an old maid.
Let's compromise. Smudge. You like
strong name-Goliah, for instance-I
Baptist one. Let S call the body Rodger
w. Goliah Smudge."
Put the Bible name first.
81 won't do i'll E"
"Then we'll call it something else.
my fathers name was Joshua Gid,
con. meekly suggested Mrs. s.
What do | care if it was2 None of
my children shall be called after any of
your relatives. That's settled Let's
fall back on late name--Garibaldi, for
instance"
COR Bonaparte. -
(Which one?"
Napoleon third
mo; l won't have him called Napo-
leon" ..-....
"Then you shan't call him Garibaldi, y
retorted Mrs. S., firmly. "Smudge,
your the thickest individual l ever lived
with. You won't listen TO anything |
propose"
Then call the boy Daniel Webster.
l always admired the old statesman"
"Our family shan't be disgraced by a
Wing name" said Mrs Smudge La
fayette is a great, a good name"
Smudge thought he was on the eve Of
suggesting the name Of the great French
man himself
He must have a middle name"
Lafayette Williams, says Mrs. S.
There's your old Baptist name again
| tell you Roger Williams sban't in any
form hang to that boys coat tail "
Ihenyou shan't call him Lafayette.
Aud thus the quarreling over the
Christening continued for six mortal
hours. Finally the affair was settled.
Smudge's sixth baby is to face the world
with the simple coguomen of John
Smudge.
a
~ !