Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-07-09
FAMILY nIscIpLINE

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fancy, finds herself abandoned by them
In her declining years. In this case, it
is not the mere runaway marriages that
call for censure, because the parent
seems to have been given little oppor-
tunity for either consent or opposition,
but the unfeeling abandonment of the
aged mother who had watched over
their fatherless childhood.
The disrespect and ingratitude of
children is one Of the saddest features
of American life, and is so widespread
as to distinguish us above all other
peoples and ages of the world.
Among the Bushmen of South
Africa there is more Of flial
respect and obedience than here.
The savage parent may muir
der his son or sell his daughter into
slavery, but the child is respectful.
The barbaric Chinese honor their pa
rents. The difference between Europe
and America in this respect is the
comment of every tourist.
1t would, perhaps, be expecting too
much of human nature to look for the
same degree of family discipline here
as in old countries. Weare too young
as people, and heterogeneous. There
is something in the atmosphere that
makes old as well as .yourg live too
fast, develop too fast-and the child
naturally merges into the man on this
continent before he is out of lead
ing strings on the other. Besides
we are in the van of the worlds
materialistic progress. The means of
livelihood and travel are open to all,
melted by cheap literature that in
flames the fancy without instructing
the Judgment. Only a month ago a
Nashville father, after traversing Ten
nessee and Kentucky for weeks, recov-
cred bright son of twelve years who
had run away from college. Such
boy in Bretagne or La Vendee would
not have found it so easy to disappear.
Railway officials, police, etc, would
have stopped him at every step to
give some account of himself.
ANY man to whom he APP
pealed for work or food would have
set the authorities on his track to send
him home.
There are many other reasons why
the European discipline cannot be en-
forced in this country, even if 1t were
in all respects desirable. Yet these OBJ
stacles make the duty of the parent to
look after his children the more imper-
ative 1t increases the difficulty of
rearing good citizens. The most potent,
and perhaps the most neglected, of the
means for ncutralizing the evil inhu-
ences surrounding us, is home influence.
In the case of Mrs. Wilson, she seems
to have depended too much on distant
schools, which separated her from her
daughters for years, and they may have
had little opportunity for cultivating
the home affections. Educational in
stitutions are designed to instruct the
head rather than the heart.
Our people as rule are too busy,
and in too great a hurry about money
to make home all 1t should be. Fathers
are notably negligent, and leave chill
dren to the one-sided management of
mothers. In the ideal family the
father should represent authority,
right and justice, while the mother en-
bodies mercy, love and persuasion.
All these elements should enter into
family government. Abolish the
mothers rule, and you may have
stunted monstrosities of slavish
obedience. Abolish the fathers rule,
and unless the mother is very wise, as
well as good, you have spoiled children.
We arefar from saying that parental
duties should be rigidly divided
according to this formula, but use it
merely to show that the two elements
of justice and mercy are equally essen
tial in family discipline. Some chill
dren need more Of love; others more of |
the rod. Both parents should endeavor |
to temper the one with the other How |
often We have seen good citizens rear
ing good children almost to mans es-
tate-happy families without a jar.
Suddenly the father is taken away by |
death, and these model children be- |
come almost vagabonds, a source of
daily anguish to the bereaved mother.
1t was the father that had ruled the
household; the mother had never as
serted her authority, happy in being
an elder child. Too late she bewailed
her terrible mistake.
Children must be taught right and |
wrong IN whatever way is most effective
on their temperament. If they are
docile, the process is pleasant and easy.
If they are vicious, as unfortunately
many are, no fatherly weakness or
love should spare them. As
a rule, fathers may be too exacting,
and mothers too yielding. The temper
ing ot the one with the other isnature's
plan. We are disposedto attribute the
growing looseness of family discipline
among US to mans neglect of his do
nestle duties, rather than woman's.
WHAT IL EFFECTIVE LABOR?
In his late admirable address before
Il