The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-08-16
WRETt HE'D WRITERS.
CHIRoGRAPHICAL AND HIERoGLYPHICAL CURIosI-
TIES,


| TIES.
Lord Eldon told George Nv, says o writ
in Chambers Journal, that the greatest lawy,
in England could neither walk, speak, M
write. This legal luminary was Mr.. Bell,
cripple, who had great difficulty in putin
his ideas into speech and had succeeded i
hitting upon three different methods, a
equally original, of putting them upon pape
one being ineligible to himself but wors
than Greek to his clerk; another which hi
clerk could, but he himself could not deciphel
and bird, wnich he, his clerk, nor any on
else, could comprehend. 1t seems almost to-
| absurd that man should be unaole to rea,
his own writing however bad it may be; but
printer employed in London newspape
office tells US he has more than once apple,
vainly to Il living novelist for an calculation o
his mysterious hieroglyphics. We dare sa.
Dr. PARIS
VANITY RECEIVED \ SHOCK
when Sir William Jones wrote 8. Your Eng
liSh and Latin characters are so bldly formed
that have infinite difficulty to read your let
tiers, and have abandoned all hope of deci
phering many Of them Your Greek i
wholly illegible it is perfect algeria" Arch
deac IN Coxe's handwriting was described as
something that could not be called hand or
fist, but "a foot, and club one, too produc-
ing a tangled 81 Elm that ran across the paper
in knots, which was impossible to unite into
a meaning; and Napoleon had SO little mas
terry over his pen that his letters from Ger
many to Josephine were at first sight taken
for rough maps of the seat of war. Douglas
Jerrold and Capt Marryat were almost capa-
bic of rivaling the fe Is Of Peter Beals as a
microscopic writer, the captain attaining such
perfection that that before his manu-
script could be handed over to the printers, it
was requisite to have it copied in fashion
adapted for ordinary eyesight; and then the
copyist, whenever he rested from his labor,
was obliged to stick pin where he left of,
lest he should never find the place again.
Horace Greeley's copy was continuous
STRING OF RIDDLES
for the unfortunate compOsitors engaged on
the paper OF which he was proprietor, riddles
they often solved in way not exactly condu-
Give to the proprietors serenity. When, in
expecting some Congressional malpractices,
Greeley wrote: "'Tis true, It's pity, and pity
It's, It's true" the familiar quotation APP
peared in the un-Shakespearian guise "'Tis
two, It's fifty, and fifty it's, It's five?' A
leader upon William H. Seward came forth
headed Richard the Third When he
alluded to certain electors as "freemen in
buckram." the printer turned them into
three men in a back ROOM" These, under
the circumstances, excusable deinquincies
were capped by the painter Of New York Til
bune bulletins. Having received notice in
the well-known but ever unin eligible hero
glyphics, intended to inform the public tn 1t
they must seek Entrance on Spruce street,
after some hours hard study and cogitation,
The puzzled man Of the brush, in sheer es-
peration, dashed off in large letters, Editors
- nd ,,oc<oA he ovtv prIi
on the front Of the Tribune
office. If Horace's own people were thus
severely exercised. one can family imagine
1ow his
CORRESPONDENTS MUST HAVE SUFFERED.
Writing to decline an invitation to lecture
ne said II am overworked and Grown old
| shall be sixty next February g. On the
whole, it seems l must decline to lee IRE
except in this immediate vicinity
f do at all. l cannot promise to visit nli- |
lois on that errand, certainly not now. Rather
% his surprise he received the following re-
ply: "Dear Sir-Your accept nee to lecture
before our association next Wi ter came to
land this morning. Your penmanship not
being the plainest, it took some me to trans |
ate it, but we succeeded, and would say your
ime, February 3, and terms $780, are entirely
satisfactory. As you suggest, We may he able |
o get other engagements in the immediate |
,iclnity; if so, we will advise YOU" Consid-
ring that he
sCORNED TO MAKE ANY DISTINCTION
between s, q and r, and treated b, p and h as
IDENTICAL in form, it is no wonder the sage's
etters were liable to be sent anywhere but !
where he wished them to go.
One morning the Tribune startled its read
rs with a phillip"ic against careless post
'fiice officials, winding up with the statement
hat it took four days for letter to go from
New York to Chappaqu,, some thirty miles. |
'Ir. Kelly at once seat to Chappaqua for the |
Envelope OF the delayed letter. 1t was one OF
iorace's own, "su ggesting somewhat the same
speculation that would result from
tudying the footprints Of a gigantic spider
hat had, after wading knee-deep in ink, re-
reated hastily across the paper No clerk |
n the post office could read the address, not
ven the ''chief of the bureau OF hards'-
American ter our blind men, That official, |
lowever recognized the envelope d rectly his
uperior showed it to him. ' This thing"
aid he, 'came to me some days ago, along
NTH other hards.' / studied it at my lei sure
or whole dav, but could not make it out. l |
hcwed it to our best expert, but what the I
yrting if writing it was, meant, was conun-
rum we all gave up. Finally, in desperation,
was suggested as a last resource, to send it
D Chappaqua which
HAPPENED TO BE RIGHT.