Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-07-23
Here and There n Dash.

Corn and politicians are out in tassel.
Pasture is looking green and fresh since
the rain.
Pine boards IN sidewalks, turn up at
the ends.
Whooping cough is one of the luxuries
Of the season.
Jacobs claims the championship in
checker playing.
The child never looked better than on
last Wednesday evening.
S. A. Dom ella is finishing a new house
on Fourth aYenue and Tenth street.
The 'tater bug" is a current theme with
West Virginia correspondents this season.
"Sallie- Mander's" communication was
received too late for publication this week.
There were scores OF people reduced to
the melting mood last Monday, at Bar
louisville.
Ii Charlie Caldwell, of Guyandotte, is
not happy man, why then he is little
better than heather.
Friend Rock is erecting three neat tene-
ment houses near the Twenth-fourth
street school house.
II Palmer would invest some Of his sur
plus bonds in a box of axle grease, that
ricketty old buggy he drives would make
less racket.
George Cullen boasts of the prettiest
baby in town. Well, if it resembles its
daddy we trembe for the safety Of the
first looking-glass.
An exchange says polecats are recon-
mended as an effective disinfectant. The
attention Of our Board Of Health is called
to the fact. No charge.
Ii the communication from Gone who
is Posted means what it bears upon its
face, the author has sought an improper
way Of disclosing tie facts.
1t was rot because he was not strong,
but because Thornbulg was stronger. IS
the reason why GibsDn's eloquence will
not be heard through tie halls Of the
State House next winter.
4 young lady unattended from church,
Sunday evening, was heard 10 remara as
she passed the Third Avenue Hotel -
why isit that these stupid men will pei
sist in blocking up the s:de-walk"
Jimmy aid Eustace got little refrae-
tory in the Court room tuesday afternoon.
Jimmy said he did and Eustace said he
didn't - they adjourned 10 the post-ofiice
i5ra pariey, where Eustace lodged right
and-lefter under Jimmy's right shoulder.
WLcreupon Jimmy tumbled Eustace upon
the counter, and sliced piece out OF his
coat And 50 ii stands.
Mr. Moses Bornheim las our thanks
for an invitation 10 witness the ceremony
that will cons.gn him To ike responsible
ties and joys Of welded life. On the 2oth
Of July he will lead to the altar the pref
tv Miss Bertha Brill Of Portsmouth, and
make her his bride. To the rest Of the
young men about town, We would say 60
and DO likewise.
Ever since our youth it has been our
misfortune to look like other people
TINS fact was brought forcibiy to our
mind last week rs we were crossing the
hills t. Wayne Courthouse. We mad just
passed tie cemetery grounds when a gen
tleman on horseback addressed Us a. fol-
lows: "Good morning Mayor Burke, ]
am glad to meet you. | want to ask you
what the Council did with the proposition
to furnish pumps for the wells IN the city?'
Somewhat pleased at being mistaken for
the chief magistrate OF the City, we
bowed smilingly upon the stranger and
assured him OF his mistake, and added
that the Council had decided 10 reject the
pump proposition because Of the bad pre-
cedent 1t would establish, but had over
come the veXed question by their gener-
csity. Instead OF voting the required
sum out Of the city treasury, they had de-
cided to raise the amount by contributions
from the members OF the city govern
ment, which cOmmendable act would, Of
course, entitle them to the pray ers Of a
thirsty and grateful people. As he rode
Of the stranger rejJined that the council
deserved fresh wafer all their lives, with
an occasional jUlep thrown in. Resuming
our ride we placed dozen miles behind
Us, wuen on entering a gorge in the
mountains, We came suddenly upon q
deniZea OF the woods, who called on: -
GLOW are you DR.. Chase? Have YOU got
any Nebraska lots left? | am going West
and want a farm" We turned 10 the
new conner and told him that We were
not DR.. Chase and did not own any Ne
braska farms; that we were simply 4 |
modest editor and had no expectations
beyond three mea a day, as long as We
sat behind a goosc-quill IN Cabell county,
Once more III brisk trot appearances |
bid fair that our journey would be COM
pleted without further interruption, |
when, on turning a short angle, All cd |
lady ran to the gate and called ont /: !
80, | am so glad to see you, DR.. Wall :.
I've got sick COW in the stable. I've
MIXED her these thirty years and nothing
was ever the matter with her before
Won't you tell me what to give her ?" As
we had always been a warm adherent Of |
the patriarch Bergh, we concluded to !
persunate the DR.. Tor the relief of the suf- |
fering animal. We therefore ordered that |
the COW be given tAree doses Of Blue Mass,
of one ounce each, to be followed BIZ a |
quart Of Epson Salts, and if that didn't |
fetch her to her milk, to annoint her spi-
nal column copiously with croton oil
The effect no doubt was prompt. We
finished our journey in peace, but the
fact that tie above named persons are
proverbially the homeliest men in the
weighed to some extent upon our
mind and those little marks Of resem- |
blance which we had traced between |
Mars and ourself were dissipated then and |
there into tie thin morning air.
The growth and structure OF the human