The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-04-04
WIT AND WISD I'M

The song Of the ladies' temperance band
10y" Going thro' the rye.
A young man says the ladies don't seem
J. 20 give thought To those fellows who keeT
Iway from saloons.
A burglar was found under a mans he'd
II Philadelphia, who excused himself N
he ground that he was looking for his lit
Gle dog.
pickpocket arrested IN Rochester said
= 1 was only searching that mans pockets
for proof of frauds against the Govern
ment.
The one thing" says Jean Paul,
which a maiden easily fOrgets, is how she
looks-hence mirrors we're invented.
Farewell, Susan-you have driven me
to the grave, wrote John Larch, Of Ala
Oama. four years ago, and left the note on
the river bank. He was arrested the other
day IN Cincinnati, living with another
woman.
The people ~ the United States drink
| $50, 600, 900 worth Of spirits every year %
A sum sufficient % give every boy and girl
A collegiate education, and drive want and
| ignorance from the land.
female help. who owned ID % having
left seven places ia year, ingenuously ac-
knowledged to new d" missis." 8" I've
ueen looking for place with an old cou-
PIE with property, who would consider me
nke a daughter
The origin ~ the word muff, applied 70
fool, Is said to be that a muff holds
Somans hands without squeezing il.
When sou repeat the proverb, y Frailty,
thy name is woman ,' you must except
hereafter Mrs Chloe Jones, colored lady
II Raleigh, whose waist at its slenderest
point measures seven feet in circumfer-
ence.
Simpson, -" Brown has failed" Jones,
' has he, indeed. Well, I'm glad Of it,
He's worked hard for a good many years,
and it's time he began to lay OF and take
things easy. | suppose ne will set up a
carriage nov, won't he HI
A small boy arose at a Sunday school
concert and began to recite quite glibly
e certain man went down from Jerusa-
lem to Jericho, and fell-and fell-(here
his memory began to fail him), "and-and
fell by the roads e. and the ihorns sprang
up and choked hun"
A thing no man can find out-the heroic
tirmness with which a woman will persist
IN carrying a roll Of dry goods as large as
she can hold III her arms. il only euualed
by the politeness with which she requests
her gro e. deliver pound Of butter at
her house.
\ lady lately reported visit to bar
room, and. after describing the horrible
paraphernaia ot the bar, she went on to
state M In the rear, upon table, the soul
destroying, awful game ~ faro was being
played by a crowd ~ maddened, excited
men. This game Of faro Is played with
two sticks fuur balls, ana several piece u
chalk
There is no place On earth that can excel
san Francisco III Heas. They are very
large and healthy, and they are done up in
thicker crust than those of any other sec
tIon. One Way tu Kill em IA VI drill holes
III their backs, blow EN- up with nitro
glycerine until they become httle faint,
then lay them VII railroad track, letting 4
freight tram run over them, then they may
be dead, no certainty, however Their
skin j. used by the Chinese fur tobacco
pouches.
People still keep on wondering about
Shaksp,ares having lett bis wifg only the
- second best bedstead The fact Is that
William could nut have bvqueathed his
best bedstead to Ann, because by the law
ot that age the best bedstead was Of the
nature Uf a cUwer, and was inherited by
the widow.
The Egyptians took their fathers. made
mummles Ut them, ana Kept them thus
preserved IN their houses, and sometimes
1 pdWnvd them. doing with the dead what
they we're unable ~ do with the living.
The Marquis Of Lorue will come into
possession " thg Duruden estate AZ Tun-
bridge Wells the English watering place.
az the end If this month The MARQUIS
ana the Princess Louise are to reside on
/ TINS estate, which was sold to him for
/ $50 600.
1 The California Il. .gislature has passed a
| bill limiting the hours of labor of cOnddc-
4 tors and car drivers.
A jury IN California, the other day, gave
a verdict Ut mot guilty, with a request To
/ defendant to restore the sheep.
One hundred and twenty newspapers
and periodicals have been suppressed ia
\ France since MacAlahOn became President
/ Mat "a country for free speech and free
\ Fapurs.
\ A Boston paper wonders why member
/ Of Con gress who recently spoke with s.
much trvnug uf the hay seed m his hair N
Y Oats IN hIs throat, ana Y turnIps, pDta-
toes ana cabbage M his vest pockets, for
g,4t W complete the diagnosis of The case,
ny aIludmg to the rye IN his stomach
A Chicago gentleman who had tarried
late III Y Vine supper, found Ills WItr await
iug his return m high state Of nervous
ness sand she " Here We been waiting
ana rocking Ivy Y lhaIr ulI Ivy head " ms
round ike top. " HE, Jess 50 where
/ ve been, responded ar "A lts m the
hic, atmosphere.
The Paris E&posi-.uu e 1873 vii be held
IN thr falals dc ludu,lry which Will be con
sIdgrably enlarged ny the rrrGulu WY vast an-
nexed buudIugs ia the Champs E,ystes.
\ the old mansion in which Ben Jamin West
born Wa burned In lAilAdeiphia WV the 10th
I ut
Mr.. Vincent, in hs buuh on M he Land
Of the White EIep Wy that the Bur.
mese men are all tattucd. from the hips "a
n the knees, with "a h.i.uk an blue pigment,
ana some have punctur, spots upon the
/ upper part Il tht body, stained ro YER
mlliluH color. Gentlemen A.sf amt their
Y tgs over with repre- btatiuIs Ut cats. IT,
/ gers, dogs, and other animals. The urign
q the custom u sand tO have been the MI.
I icy 0t a certain queen, Who, observing that