The Portland daily press., 1874-01-20
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM IN ADVANCE
THE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING, JAN. 20, 1874.

- - A2 Il AO A/ ~ ~ .
TUESDAY MORNING, JAN. go, 1874.
Gossip and Gleanings.
In press Yesterdays Table-c'o
They still advertise for ga good girl to
cook"
Six houses in Smitaville go unswept while
their mistresses strive tor the post-office.
Wanted" says country paper, "young
ladies' who can and will play at croquet with
out cheating"
little girl, once hearing the remark that
all people had once been children, artlessy
inquired, "who took care OF the babies?'
A Chicago man wants the thief who stole
bis well-bucket and rope to come back and
get the well, as 1t is of no use now.
Mistrust the man who finds everything
good, the man who finds everything evil, aud
the man who is Indifferent to everything.
The Scotch clerical dress was blue gown,
and broad blue bonnet Hence the term
"Blue Presbyterian"
Messrs. J. r. Osgood & Co., received a let
ter from rural florist lately, asking for
description of their new heliotrope process.
Quilp thinks il rather remarkable that
while several thousand feat are required to
make one rood, single foot, properly appli-
ed is often sufficient to make one civil.
A large shawl-pin was recently found in
the interior department Of Madison, Wis.,.
COW, and the rest OF the unfortunate woman
still remains 10 be heard Fl om.
'Well. Bridget, if engage you shall want
you to stay at home whenever shall wish to
go out" Swell, ma'am, I have no objections,
providin' you do the same when I wish to go
out'
TIE readers of Transatlantic paper are
gravely informed that The Smashed is the
name of a proposed club in London, the
members to consist only Of those who have
been MANNED on railway or run over in the
streets.
'Don't You mean to marry again. my dear
sir?' said buxom widow to her neigh
bor.
mo my dear widow" said old crusty, 'I'd
rather lose all the ribs I've got than take
auotherp
A little four-year-old in Richmond, very
fond of certain dish, when asked by his
mother if he wouldn't like to be an angel with
wings, and fly about heaven like his little dead
brother, replied, after a pause se:-''No ma; I'd
a heap rather be hawk, and live on chick
en-
In Hartford, recently, a stranger went to a
hotel for bath, and as he did not emerge
from his retirement for an hour, the proprie-
tor entered with fears OF suicide in his heart,
to see what was the matter. The stranger
had only been washing his shirt, and was
waiting for it to dry.
The other day an Iris hman with very
down h1i.l.as Tho bag a-his knees THE
c.ndnctor wanted to take L. from him. soh'
said Paddy, ''sure the poor creatures o
horses have enough to do to drag along with
out that-rll carry 1t meself."
Sometime ago farmer in the Highlands
lost his wife, and out of love for her memory
called his estate "Glenmary." A neiehbor
having met with the same afliction, and be-
ing equally desirous of keeping before him
the image of his dear departed, follo wed his
example. and gave to his tarm the name Of
"Glenbetsy."
Dr., entering the hospital surgery. met
Paddy Boyle, the orderly. and asked him
which he considered the most dangerous Of
the many cases then in hospital. ''Thar, sir"
said Paddy, as with an Indicative jerk of the
thumb he pointed TO where lay on the table
a case Of surgical instruments.
Among the smaller duties OF life, hardly
know any one more important than that of
not praising where praise is not due. Repu
.tation is one Of the prizes for which men con-
tend. 1t is. as Mr.. Burke calls it. 1.-THE cheap
defence and ornament of nations, and :he
nurse o. many exer:ions;" it produces more
labor and more talent than twice the wealth
of a country could ever rear up. 1t is the
coin of genius; and 1t is the imperious duty
of fevery nan to bestow it with the most scru-
pulous justice aud the wisest economy.-
Sidney Smith.
A young gentleman, mounting the steps of
fashionable residence, to call on a we'll
known belle, caught glimpse, through an
uncurtained area windoy, of the fair one
putting yay pudding and milk with an avid
ity that argued good appetite for wholesome
food. After sending his card by the servant,
he waited some time, when at last the lady
sauntered into the drawing-oom.
"Ah," exclaimed the gallant, 81 fear my
call is inopportuae, and have interrupted
you at luncheon"
'It is of no consequence" dawled the lady,
"although it was our luncheon hour, and 1
was just picking bit of chicken when you
rang"
'Indeedr' said the cruel masculine, wroth
at not receiving an invitation to take bite,
"an pray, miss, is that one of the feathers
sticking to your peck ribbon ?''
The lady picked off piece Of pudding
about the size of filbert from her cravat,
and the call didn't last as long as was expect
ed.