Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1874-07-17
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

l. Hdu w do a. JiCdooiio Ne'iIS "iiiS'i
old Mr.. Duesnbury employed to rid
his berry-patch of robins. Having
formerly beena clothier, he fished from
his garret a dilapidated old dummy
which had once seen better days and
clothes, and turned the susceptible
heart of many near-sighted damsel
and rigging some arms upon it he clad
it in faded garments, cooked a disre-
putable-looking hat on its head, and
stood it up in the middle of his patch.
His facetious neighbor on the right.
having noticed this ingenious contri-
vance, conceived the idea of removing
it from Dusenbury's garden and secret
ly placing it in the garden of the
neigh BORON -the-left, who was likewise
in state of chronic madness on ac-
count of the nightly depredations of
robins. This done, the neighbor-on-
the-right, after kicking up IA rumpus
sufficient to disturb the sleep ola mum
my, hid himself behind a tree near by
and awaited developments. The neigh
bor-onthe-left came prancing out, and
marching furiously up to the dummy,
exclaimed:
"You thieving old rascal, Joe Peas
ley, I've got you now. I'll fix you,
YOU internal scoundril. What dye
mean by stealing into my garden at
this hour of night, you low-lived,
white-livered, underhanded old black
guard"
The neighbor -the-right, behind
the tree, instead of enjoying this, jump
ed up and down in distress and anger.
1t was not pleasant to be mistaken for
a scarecrow and accused of stealing
garden sauce at the same time. His
name was Joseph Peasley, and he was
the individual referred to.
The dummy said nothing. \ gentle
breeze from the east turned it half IA
round, neigh hbor-on-t -the-left continued
Il know you, you ole scoundril. You
needn't pull your hat down over yer
eyes. saws yer. and | knows yer.
Ha. ha. you mizzable sneak. Now
you'll dance to me, darn Yer"
"Who is it?' shricked the injured
neighbor's wife, tripping out in her
night-gown.
who is it," yelled back her hus-
band. warming up by the reinforce
ment, for he was getting out of breath ;
Joe Peasley, blast his picture, the
consommurnit ole hog
"O-o-o-o-h, Joe Peasley, You mean,
dishonest, sneakin' thing" struck up
the woman, shaking her fist at the in
aocent fogia. ..;o th;ak that you'd be
caught a-stealin' my husbands garden
sass. knowed you was mean man
when YOU turned your wife outdoors
and whipped your little baby 10 death,
and stoned your poor old grandmother,
and pizened Uncle Dusenbury's hens.
ana now you're stealiu' garden sass,
and you re ketched, and you'll be hung.
| wish | had my hands on your face,
I'd scratch Your wicked old head off. p"
This must have been pleasant for
Peasley behind the tree.
See how he hangs his head" she
added, triumphantlv.
Il should think he'd hang the whole
length Of him, rejoined her husband /;
why don't YOU speak, you thievin'
ole blaggard: liAintyou got no tongue
or sense or manners nor nothing =
whealin around is if you waz hung
on springs
What's the natter" inquired a
strange voice, which proved to be the
parson ;.
.Matter.' Shreked the angry man
Al the newcomer, "mattcr enough, |
think. I've caught Joe Peasly a-pickin'
my melons and pullln' rsy cabbages up.
See the sneakin' burglar" tiendishIy
he cried, pointing at the form. 1--we
a notion to punch the stutfin' out of
him."
Unfortunately for Mr.. Peasley's re-
putation, balmly zephyr turned the
figure slowly about in quiet manner.
Joseph, put in the pious man, ad-
dressing the scare-crow mournfully,
Il am grieyed to find you thus circum-
stance. 1t pains me deeply to see this
damning evidence of your guilt. Re-
member, however, my friend, that there
is even repentance at the eleventh
hour"
"Nearer half-past twelve" snarled
neigh Dor ont the-left.
At this point another party appear
ed. Through the gloom of the night
it was observed approaching. 1t was
DuseEbury, who, hearing loud talking,
was coming to learn the cause. He
was a large, corpulent man, of a hasty
and passionate temperament.
"What'S this row." he asked sharp
ly.
They told him in chorus sweet and
strong, the lady reaching high c, the
parson taking the bass, and the out
ragged neighbor tearing up and down
the whole gamut in the operation.
"What do you say roared Dusen-
bury, ivid with rage; "Joe Peasley
that's robbed our gardens! What do
you mean, you miserable wretch?" he
cried, and marching up he suddenly
seized the dummy by the coat collar,
seated his heels in potato hill, and
cast his whole strength and tremend-
Gus weight into Il jerk that would have
moved the State of Rhode Island.
Then the dummy went ranting up in
the air; and he went over on his back
as if he had been kicked by a lot full
of mules.
Neighbor- on-the-right, behind the