River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1874-06-19
FacetiOus Fragments.
A popuLAR sioht-Anthrocite

A POPULAR sight-Anthracite
The last of the Bare uns-Adam and
Eve.
LOUISIANA is just now good locality
for watering place notes"
A BAD omen-To owe men money.
INSTEAD of saying cts a long time
between drinks, western men now re-
mark, A." Its long time since / signed
my last pledge
THE editor of the London Punch is
SAID to receive 81 200 year. Many
othef editors get as many pounds, but
not pounds sterling.
A BURGLAR of twenty-seven years
standing has Just been converted at In
| dianapOlis, and one can entertaina faint
hope that few congressman will be
saved.
WHEN husband returns home afte
"a long absence, and hears the parro
shouting, kiss me, darling" as soon
as his wife enters the room, his interest
IN " Enoch Arden naturally begins to
deepen.
MRs MARRowFAT has of late been
feeding her husband exclusively upon
oatmeal and dried apples. A terrible
suspicion crosses Mr.. Marrowfat's mind
that his dear Eurydice may be an inha-
! tionlst.
On, what do You think, Mr. Lilly
brow? The other day / was taken for
twenty-five, and | am only eighteen y
Hawl Wonder what You'll be taken
for when you're twenty-five ?'' I" For
better or for worse, hope y Mr.. Lilly
brow looks pensive.
e. CHARLES WALKER, a negro who was
hung ut Townsville, Georgia. last Fri
day, made on the gallows a singular re-
I quest Raising bis cap he asked his
friends to pray for the counsel that had
defended him. He then met his fate
with composure.
| A FRENCHMAN, recently brought to-
book for breaking an engagement.
pleaded in defense that the would-be-
bride passed herself of as % years old,
afterwards owned up to 26, and he had
/ finally found out that she was, in real
| ity 81. Verdict for the defendant.
/ A GERMAN, who was asked if lager
beer was intoxicating, replied "Vell,
4 | thinks from seventy to eighty glasses
/ ,
upper story for any kind of beesiness,
but can't tell vat it YOU'D domit man
vat makes swiil-tub of himself"
| A BOY about eleven years of age
fished off the dock mt Detroit for four
hours Sunday, without once leaving his
post. His patience and perseverance
attracted the attention of policeman,
who asked "Well. sonny, catching
any fish p "NO, not yet answered
the boy, "but I've come mighty near
having three or four big bites.
Two young ladies' conversation to
this effect washeard ina Boston picture
dealers store, Us they stood before a
piece of marble: First young lady ire
ferring to the label ON the pedestaD
"This is statue of Psish." Second
young lady embarrassed between de-
sire of correcting her friends pronun-
citation and n fear of hurting her feel
ings, very mildly 81 think people
usually call it Sykee." First Young
lady with no intention of being put
down, defiantly) f: "Well, some folks
call it Sykee, and some call it Psish. 4
/ like Psish best.
ENERGETIC protest in the Louisville
/ COurier-Journal "'A Female Crusa-
der writes from New Albany to accuse
us of making war upon the liquor
sellers What We make war upon
heavens last, best gift to the temper
ance cause? Never. We would rather
be toad and bay the moon, or dog
aye full pack of hounds-and feed
upon the yapors of dungeon we
would rather be torn to pieces by rag
ing dandelien, or hurled from the back
of an untamed saw-horse-
Fire-eyed aud meteor-maned,