The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-08-12
SCRAPS.

a great object II n flte-a giant.
A bad omen-To owe men mon
ey.
a cool reqqest-Please pass tn
ice.
Paternal .acres-The old n man
corns.
!: Advertisements on eggs are tn
very latest.
A perfectly natural mau is gepe4r:
ally q perfectly honest one.
Now the green apple doubles
the little boys into qdarto form.
a laugh is worth a hqln!'darFes hqndarFe;:
groans in any market.-;Char!!e
Lamb.
An Ohio jockey furnishes horse
with false teeth 50 as to ,concea
thsir:age.
The old7fashioned women's cru
sade-A boys head and a fine
tqothed comb
Second Adventists now say Janu
.ary ], 1891. Thought editors will
put it in their diaries.
He went back on his own true
love, because she ate onions, .an(
the jury gave her $4,000 damages
The wave on which many poor
fellow has been carried away is the
wave .ot lace7edged ,camhrlce
handkerchief.
A Father in WISCONSIN offered
his son FIVE dollars to take a dose
of castor oil, and then got ,coun
terfeit bill off On the boy.
Don Piatt says shrewdly.: ''Hu
NOR is to a newspaper what a tai
is to q kite-very absurd, but very
.pecessary'to its ascension"
A Toledo woman muzzled hel
husband to keep him from kissing
the chambermaid. Is itrealiy nee
,essary this time of the year?
A DoWnEast clergyman recently
lostttwo pairs of .rubbers wrapped
up in. a circus poster. He is care
full to state that the poster was sec
ond.hand.
An unsoplisticated person once
declined plate of macaroni soup
with the remark that they 'seouldp:t
palm off any billed :pipe-stems on
him."
The people of Toulouse must'ba
.ahard set. A writer speaking .oi
the, city says: ."Itiis.a large town,
containing 60, 900 inhabitants built
entirely. of brick"
a womah applied,to o fire .insu,
rance company for a position as
agent. When asked what her
qualifications were, she touched
her unblushing cheek.
a Delaware man arrested for
murder, proved that ON that night
and at the hour of the murder he
was at home maulipg. his wife, and
this fact saved him. A word to
the wise is, apd so forth.
A greenhorn sat long ;time
:attentiyely musing upon a cane
bottom chair. AT length he said,
81 wonder what .fellow took the
trouble toifnd all them air 'hOles
and put straws around 'em p
Detroit Free Press: a Virginia
sheriff asked a murdaser.if he,wan.
ted to make q speech on the gal
lows, and the man replied: ."Guess
,no; it looks like rain, and I don't
want to get wet; go on with the
hanging
,An:interesting little boy, timid
when left alone in dark room.
was overheard recently by his
mother to say in his loneliness, sob
Lord, don't let any one hurt me,
and I'll 60 to church next Sunday,
and give you some money"
We find the following item in an
Illinois paper: "Mr. -, who has
been in retirement for a few weeks
after marrying and burying three
sisters, came up smilingly to the
altar again yesterday, having begun
on1a new family" a
An Irish post boy having driven
a gentleman long stage during
torrents of rain, the gentleman
ciyilly said to him. "Paddy, are
Won not very wet?' "Arrah, I
don't care about being very vet,
but, PLACE your honor, I'm very
dry"
A Hartford man keeps a spade
close by his kitchen door, and
whenever tramp comes along and
begs for a dinner, he is requested
to earn it by digging four feet
square i'll the garden, but the tramp
-,,o,;obl, rofucau fn nov this nrlcp