Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1874-05-01
Circumstances Alter Cases.

A gentleman and his son were both
lawyers, the father having retired in
easy circumstances to country place
some ten miles away from the scene of
his professional labors. One Sunday
morning the young gentleman, home
ward bound, met his father and motkl
er on their way to church, where they
regularly attended. The father said
My son, am delighted and so is
your dear mother, that you are going.
to hear our good man preach. You
will be highly pleased with him" :.
While this conversation was going
on, a tall friend of the son came up,
and familiarly addressing him by his
Christian name, said . Ta 3 sasf
II have got the bar open, so that we
can have brandy and water whenever,
We want it,. - p. sv,.lc ~ fy7a <. 4
The friend, observing the solennn
countenance of the father, beat a hasty,
retreat. When he was gone the faith
'er put up bJrh iTalds; ana s,1id------
"My son, | could not have believed
this of you. Look at your poor moth
er, and observe how she feels your wick
edness."
After minute of dead silence, the
father said eaas
"Who is that bad companion Of
yours -
Well, father, if | must tell you, he
is my best client and the richest man
in town.
The old gentleman thereupon slap
ped his son on the shoulder, and said
"Stick to him, my boy; stick to HIM
anil 'aGrer leare himw af7 y72c.sIoeau
Wicked world. -a l aft ~ Iss
Lazy husbands are known out Vest
as stove watchers. q; alE ~ he4
This summer ladies are going to-
dress their hair just as they. did three
hundred years ago, says an exchange
This makes some of the ladies pretty
old. ...... ,s..4 ......u.-....'- -
Leigh Hunt was asked by lady if
he would not venture on an orange,
MADAM" he replied, 81 should be
happy to do so, but | am afraid | might
tumble off. ..-.-..-.
a New braska man on his dying bed
knew that his wife was smoking hams,
ana he said: "Now, Henrietta, don't
go to smiling around and forget them,
HAMS
During a recent freshet in Cen~
necticut, an editor telegraphed to, ana
other at the scene of action, 'Send me
full particulars of the flood" The an
swer came, 'You'll find them in GEN
esis." s'
An affected young lady, on being ask
ed, in large company, if she had read
Shakespeare, assumed alook of astonish-
ment and replied: "Read Shakespeare!
OF course | have; | read that when it
first came out"
Quilp and his wife had a bit of con-,
tention the other day. 81 own that
you have more brilliancy than l." said
the woman; s'but | have the better
Judgment" "Yes," :" sand Quilp4 "Youro
choice in marriage shows that y =
care them Bibles p asked an old
lady of clerk in the probate office,
pointing to rows ofswills and other
bound volumes of records. 'No marm,"a
was the bland reply, "them are testa-
ments." a7 -,..s-tT y =. t-s.,s.
A young author, reading a tragedy
perceived his auditor very often pull
off his hat at the end of a line, asked.
him the reason. Il cannot pass very
old acquaintance" replied the critic
without civility." .4l. sEsa-g .zeg
! Two deacons once disputing abouta
proposed new graveyard, one remark
ed. "lllnever be buried in that ground
as long as [ live!', "Whatan obstinate
man., said the other. IF my life is
spared, l will"