The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1874-12-24
CauSage.


forte.
No church is too weak 10 take up a
collection.
it requires no particular skill TO make
q bunder.
With hungry men, meal times are the
best times.
No Ch;naman has ever yet become
book agent.
A motbcr-In-law in the house is a we'll
spring Of jawy.
Time will only hang up his scythe
when he is no mower.
"Thc Beautiful Blue Danube" is a
muddy, yellow fraud.
Jonah was stranger among whales,
and they took him in.
At Pekln, H., you can Pekin 10 cigh-
ty-scvcn lagcr-bccr saloons.
When was the greatest freak Of nature!
When Mary had a little lamb.
What is the largest room in the World?
The room for improvement.
Snails are to be taxed in Paris, which
will make them go still more slowly.
The elephant is said to be dying out /;
70 you'd better go and sec it at once.
A client is never certain about law
yer, and generally takes him on trial.
Pluck and patience are a strong firm
in transacting the daily business of life.
The proper salutation when you meet
"a writing master is, "How do You -four
Ish :"
They don't bury colorcd people in
Georgia. They form dc fun'ral obs
CUES, sab.
Ifyou want TO feel warm all through
give some poor family the means TO keep
warm.
John G. Calhoun has been arrested in
Memphis for wearing somebody clse's
trousers.
Texas has town called Lovclady
Old maids arc inquiring about the
climate there.
4 Minnesota man makes the winter
seem short by giving his note payable
In the spring.
Governor Peck, Of Vermont is a bachel
or. Marrying would make half a bushIl
OF him.
The mesnest man in the world is The !
fellow who knows where Charley Ross !
is aud will not tell.
Mercy Consolation Smith, is Fort
Wayue's handsomcst girl. Mercy will
no doubt bc a Consolation 10 some fcl- |
low.
Monkeys never grow older in express
ion. A young monkey looks exactly
like his grandpapa melted up and born
over again.
The Toledo Herald hopes, If Kalakaua
sells his kingdom TO the United States,
lac will buy suit Of clothes. lie owns
a shirt now.
A father at Dubuque makes his chill
drcn address him as follows, for instance:
-"Most respected and rovered father,
/ III take another tatcr."
Colorado started college few weeks
ago, and up to date its inmates consist
of one woman, three Indians, a buffalo
cali and Professor of Botany.
A Rhode Island man carries 100000 !.
life insul ance, and fhc even takes cold in !
the head, the companies rush down three :
or four doctors to feel his pulse.
"What would you be, dearest, if I
should press the stamp of love upon 7
those sealing wax lips % 81, f" responded |
he fairy-like creature, "shculd be b
stationery :" a
There is this difference in the biogra- !
phy of James Watt and the legend of
he pillar Of salt. One Is the story OF .
Watts life aud the other is the story of "
Lots wife.
A man had better have n milestone :
lied 10 his neck and be east into the sea, e
han To promise 10 marry a Texas girl :
and then refuse. The whole country :
.urns out TO hunt him, and he is general -
y left to grow up with tree. A
A Virginia bridegroom over seven a
feet high is announced. The affair crea. a
led considerable sensation, but it is be- O
ieved she only married him to go chest o
nutting with. n
A Western poet who had expressed a Il
wish TO dio "amid the grand solitude of G.
he eternal mountain tops" was killed a
by the explosion of apnt of cheap kero- h
oene. +,
The report that a successful poultry ?
dealer had set up a carriage, arose from D
his statement that he had made his coop s
pay, tins season. - Boston Commercial
Bulletin.
Ladies should remember TO keep their !"
mouths shut when going out of a warm :,
room into the,cool air. In fact, IT wouldn't =
hurt anything TO keep them shut most =
Of the time. "a -
A little girl reading the "History of y
England" with her mother, and coming !,
10 the statement that Henry /. never y
laughed after tho death Of son, looked !,
mp and SAID "What did he do when he :,
was tichled ?" :,
A Missouri aspirant 10 mairimony /,
advertisos that he will give three mules W
10 any maiden who will.wcd him which s.
gives rise 10 the question, what respecta- b
bic married woman would want such s.
s.
When 4 young man in Charleston, s. b
t., saves the daughter Of millionaire ty
from drowning, he is presented with Il in
pair Of kip boots having rcd tops. o,
a lowell paper announces tho APP nj
arna,.b of