Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-05-06
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

l.
$4,000 calves this year.
They are beginning to clio for Red
River" in New Orleans.
IF you call for horticultural tricks,
spades are trumps just now.
THERE are 992 VermOnters in New
York City, 1920 in Chicago, and 2,495
in Boston.
WHEN deaf and dumb lovers marry,
two members of the wedding party are
sure to be unspeakably happy.
By sensible regulation Baltimore
girls must be twelve years old before
they can enter the high schools Of that
city.
QUIET, home-like places in the
mountains and in out -the-way ports
on the New England coast will be in
demand this season.
VERMONT has 17,706 persons above
the age of ten years that can neither
read or write, of whom Is, 8O4 are for
eign born.
A MARRIED woman in Brooklyn is SUI
ing q married man for a breach of
promise committed eleven years ago,
her husband being her main witness.
The San Francisco sea captain who
traded the ships bible for thirteen
plugs Of tobacco is spoken Of very Sc
verely by the religiouspress Of that city.
The Chicago Times remarks that If
the servant girl of the period wishes to
cremate with tr1fing expense to herself,
she should continue the use of kerosene
as kinder.
AN Ashantee war medal is spoken of
for all officers, nOn-cOmmissiOned Off
GERS, and men who have been serving
on the Gold Coast since the invasion of
the protectOrate.
A GEORGIA negro was buried SO deep
by the caving of a well that it took four
hours to unearth him. He said he
never wanted to sneeze SO bad in his
life, but was afraid he would jar down
more dirt
(WHICH of the FIJI Islands are you
from ?" asked visitor of one Of Bar
NUNS cannibals, the other day. clip
perary, bedad." was the reply Of the
ravenous anthropophaginian.
A MAN in Providence, on the occasion
of the death Of an infant daughter,
entered a milliner'si store and asked if
they kept 'black tripe" to hang on
door bells. If they did he wanted
three yards.
A GEORGIA negro, who bet $40 that
Gen. Washington commanded the Fed
erals at Bull Run, handed the money
over with the remark: "Well, dis
yere hist'ry business is all mixed up
anyway!'
A SCRIPTURE lesson from Punch:
Preceptor-" Now, can any of you tell
me anything remarkable in the Life Of
Moses?" Boy-"Yes, sir he was the
only man who broke all the command
ments at once -
WILD coffee trees have been discov-
cred growing in California. This val
liable crop is likely to be added to the
other products of the state, which now
yields gold, wheat, barley, tobacco, tea,
live stock, and all the fruits of the trop-
ic and the temperate zone.
A New YORK journalist, believing that
brevity is the soul of wit, sums up the
value of editorial articles as follows
A two column article has one reader in 100.
column and half article has one reader in
Is.
A column article has one reader in 80.
A three-quarter column article has one reader
in 25.
half column article has one reader in 10.
A quarter column article has one reader in /.
PLUTARCH says : "The eyes Of the
hog are so formed and disposed of in
the head, that it is always looking upon
the lowest objects, and can in no man
ner contemplate things elevated and
lofty. It cannot look upward unless
thrown back with it's feet upward.
Although this animal is addicted to the
the most discordant squeezing and
granting, yet as soon as it is laid on
It's back it is Immediately silent, so
great is it's establishment at the heavens,
to the sight of which it is unaccustom-
ed, and which causes such fear that it
is unable TO cry"
Mr.. MAX SrRAKoscH, says the New
York Evening Post, has a pleasant adj
dress, is prompt, active and unceasing
in his industry. He speaks fuently
English, French, German and Italian,
and understands Spanish, although he
never made special study Of either.
This enables him to transact business
readily with his numerous employees,
who, gathered from all quarters of the
globe, comprise as many tongues as led
to suspension of work on the Tower Of
Babel. He is somewhat of an anomaly
among managers, inasmuch as he never
has failed, but has always met every
pecuniary or other obligation. He is
unmarried.
Two dogs, both strangers-yo see
it would be SO unequal if one Of them
was an entire stranger and the other an
old familiar acquaintance-both strang-
ers, met at the corner of Market and
Valley streets yesterday, and made pre-
parations for war. But the black dogs
tail had been sand papered off close to
the end of the backbone and then var
nished, and when that warrior tried to
express his emotions in the usual
canine style, he wagged himself SO
energetically from his neck and back,
that it carried his hind feet off the
ground, and lent his countenance such
an aspect of uncomfortable ferocity,
that the long tailed dog incontinently
took q walk around the block tc 500 IF