Weekly Trinity journal., 1874-03-07

you'd like to have them do to you. You
will now be conducted to the Most Emil
ncnt Squash Producer, who will teach
you the Grand Hailug Signal of Distress.
TIN, sign my dear brother, will insure
you against many of the ills Of the agri-
culturists, and among others. against
droughts and being bit by the terocious
grasshopper."
The candidate is now conducted to the
Most Eminent Squash Producer, who
thus says My worthy brother, | will
now invest you with the order of the
Festive Plow Boy, which you have we'll
won by your heroic achievements while
harnesscd. May you ever wear it with
pleasure to yourself, and may it be n
means of terror to your enemies"
The Nj. L. 5. p. then proceeds to in
vest the candidate with tho regaliO of a
Festive Plow Boy, which consists of a
long tomato necklace. "The Grand
Haiing Sign of Distress is made by
gently closing the left eye, laying the
right torelinger along the nose, and vio-
lentIy wagging the ears. 1t requires prac-
tice, but the advantages are intense. 1t
has also an important signiiication which
you will do well to heed. Tho closing of
the eye signifies that in all your dealings
with mankind you are bound to have an
eye to business. Laying your finger
alongside the nose is emblcmatical of
wisdom and places you Mt once among
the knowing ones. This is extremely
handy in prognosticating new weather,
and saves the wear and tear of amanacs.
Wagging your ears signifies sublimity Of
purpose, and is thought to be emblcmat-
ical Of chldhood's happy hours. IT is
also supposed by somo profound scholars
to have distinct reference to apple dump
lings, but this fact is somewhat obscurcd
/ by the dust Of ages. In token that you
Nre one Of us you will now be branded. ~
This ceremony is very impressive, and
consists of two brands. They are both
applied while the iron is hot, and consist
of one letter Of the alphabet each. The
/ first is the large letter s, on which you
will please sit, while the other is applied
to the stomach. The letter 5, my worthy
chicken, signifies scooped, and refers to
railroad monopolies. 1t is also supposed
TO indicate the scat Of learning tho spot
where the old timo school-tcacher hunted
for brains with the ferule. The second
letter is G, and is applied, as said be-
fore, to the stomach. 1t has double
meaning. First, the application is an ag-
ricultural one Corn Crib, and has ref
erence to the stomach us the great rccep-
/ tNcle of Bourbon whisky. But my broth
er, do not be too diligent in finding
home market for your corn. The second
| application Of the letter G, my distracted
intart, is got hold OF rs follows: When
one Granger desires 10 ascertain for sure
| if there is another Of the order in the
room he raises himself gently by the
slack Of his unmentionablcs, scratches
his oil thigh with the near hoof and asks
in voice Of thunder, Are there any
Grangcrs about p The answer is Jces-
wax. The inquirer then says. 'Let us
see,' (letter CO. and the other party must
Immediately pull out his stomach and
disclose the brand.
These brands are applied in such n
manner that | am enabled to show you
that they will wash.
was here interrupted, Mr.. Editor, by
II volley fired into the open window, eyi.
IDENTIFY intended for me. But fortunately
escaped without scratch, and what is
Of more consequence, succeeded in fetch
ing Off my precious manuscript.
This is about all there is in the coremo-
ny Of any importance. ! must leave the
country at once armed men are at my
heels they know | am writing this to
expose them. You may hear from mo
again by mail if | should deem it safe to
expose the other degrees. From your
scared friend, b N POLE.
N. b. This ceremony Of initiation is