The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-09-26
GLOBE SATURDAY MORNING.
m or.

Many a man has discovered that good
square meal is not always round
There are many who can't read who
know A bee secs.
Horse-theves in Texas are serenaded by
string bands.
A common sucr--a lawyer p Size
is likely to be drain to his client.
A corn doctor in Europe begins his an
nouncement with the statement that he
chad the honor to operate on several
crowned feet"
The best way for man to acquire fine
now of language is TO stub his toe against
d raised brick.
A darkey's instructions Tor putting on a
coat were First de right arm, den de
left, and den give one general conwulsion."
The success of Josh Billings is excep-
tional There are thousands OF young men
who do not know how to spell and yet
they are not worth S250,00O
Talking of oarsmen, John Paul says it is
great thing nowadays To be gentle
man and a sculcr.
Seem less panls-Those that shrink upon
washing.
"Of course We couldn't have him roam
| ing around here and putting on congress
sional airs" says a Nevada paper in ex-
planning how Il horse thief came to his
end.
An urchin, being rebukcd for wearing
out his stockings at his toes, replied that it
couldn't be helped-"tocs wriggled and
heels didn't"
A small boy forgot, and asked his father
for 'chaw NY tobaccer," the other day ;
and is very rcticent on the subject now.
A stump-speaker, who 'carried four
rebel bullets" as proofs of his patriotism,
was found to have them in his breeches
pocket.
The New York COn,B,ercidL Ad0ertiseJ
says Miss Josephine Conner got lost at a
picnic the other day, and ever since then
her friends have been getting Joe Conner.
A western justice of the peace is said to
have had 1870 out of his 1876 decisions re-
YES on appeal. In the other five cases
the parties died before they could appeal.
Poetical justice sometimes happens in
most unexpected ways. A baggage-smash-
er was recently fooling around an elephant,
and the intelligent beast nstinctiyely re-
cognized his occupation, and knocked the
fellow 90 feet with his trunk.
Daring the fair yesterday afternoon q
young knight of the 'brush" approached
the secretary, saying "IIave a shine
stole in here six times to-day. and will
shine your boots for nothing. - POUCH
keepsie Eagle.
A party of young men were ont serenad
ing few nights since. They sat on TIT
pavement which had been recently paved
with a tar-solution Next morning thu
rear of six pair of pants dotted the walk
and music is heard no more around tina
cottage.
A Western man sets fire to the prair
: for fun, but after he had run seven mile
and climbed a tree, with his pants abou
all burned off, he concluded the sport wa
a little too violent exercise to be indulget
, in oftener than once in lifetime.
f Small boy No. to small boy No. 2
George, Mrs. Brown wants you TO com
home this minute !" Mrs. Brown 'Wh,
. don't you say his mother wants him ?
don't want my name shrieked in the stree
like that" No 1 swell, ma am though
, it might hurt his feelings to have the fel
t lows know that he lad to run errands.'
t Some of the old shoalers still live at tn
!, Isles, and one of them, cycling with critics
! eyes pretty yacht that was mOOred q
r Star, one day last year, spied his name
t Pysche. Spelt the old man slowly
: P-s-y Che. 'Wall, if that amt the DUR
, dest way ever did see to spell fish ~ sal
: he
!, Happy thought-That Of the fashionab
y school-teachcr, who, when asked by pr
= pill, "Who is the present King of Switze
= land ?" SAID, "This is not the hour, yo
9 know, when talking is permitted. Ask n
. at the next session and | will tell you,"-
and then rushed for the bookcase.