The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-06-20
CURRENT ITEMS.


INTEREST ING MANA bank clerk.
A MAN is thinnest when he's shaving
MANY a man with means is q mean
man.
THE love for Office is the root of much
evil.
To KEEP food on weak stomach-Bolt
it down.
MOONLIGHT is merely the beautiful old
age Of day.
DEEP waters make a still noise. So
do deep men.
RATS are known for the cellarity of
their movements.
DARK rooms are unfit for the dwellings
of human beings.
AN unpleasant sort of arithmetic-Di-
vision among families.
HAPPINESS is where it is found, and
| seldom where it is sought.
No matter how ignorant man is, he
! can at least make his mark.
THE season for sleeping on window.
sills and rolling off is here.
MONOGRAM buttons are introduced on
some of the new Walking.suit.
WHY should magistrate be very cold j?
Because he represents Justice.
A PORTLAND (Me.) railway crossing is
called "the gridiron of DEATH"
LITTLE girls should remember that
murderers die of dancing rope.
COLORADO claims to yield sapphires,
one of which was sold recently for $500.
THE Washington Star says every ap-
proach to both houses of Congress is
blocked with pie-stands.
THE Jackson Wing and Tribune has
been presented with hens egg which is
the perfect shape of walrus.
IT is proposed to try cremation on the
dogs. Well, they would burn easily on &C.
count of the quantity of bark in them.
A V1Ra1N1AN is under arrest for pawn
ing his wife's corset for pint of whisky.
He believed that tight.lacing would kill
her.
AN Atlanta child, only three years old,
makes its parents proud and happy by
carrying forty. eight pounds of meal fifty
yards.
A DELAWARE man, arrested for murder,
proved that on that mig ght and at tie hour
of the murder he was at home mauling
his wife, and this fact saved him. A
word to the wise is, and so forth.
THE strike of the omnibus-drivers in
New York has gone far to convince the
people of the city that the omnibuses are
a nuisance any way, and may safely be
abolished.
THE Grand Trunk Railroad authorities
have decided to change the line to narrow
gauge east of Montreal in September. It
will then be of uniform gauge through
out, and correspond with its American
connections.
On a recent Saturday afternoon George
Mead, nine years old, while playing with
several other boys in front of black
smith shop, near Boston, accidentally ran
against piece of wood which was prop.
| ping up wagon, and, knocking it down,
the vehicle fell upon him, killing him in
stanuy.
! A NOVELTY, is the handsome $3.50
field Croquet Set that the Ezcels;or Mag
ozs1ae is giving to new subscribers for 80
cents, through special arrangement with
a large manufacturing company. They
furnish sample copies of the Magazine for
| 25 cents, from their Office, Room 50, No.
157 La Sale st.. Chicago, Ill.
THE Detroit Free Press says that recent
| ly, while runaway horse was going up
Michigan avenue, having saddle on his
back, horse and buggy crossed the ave-
nue. in front Of him, and he made flying
leap over the horse and continued his
flight One of the flying stirrups
knocked off the hat of the man who was
driving, but he forgot to get frightened
until the runaway was block distant.
A STRANGE robbery was recently com
mitted at Louisville, Ky. A young lady
who had an unusually fine head of hair,
which she " ore in two braids, awakening
during the night with the idea that some
thing was wrong, arose and examined the
door, and finding it was locked was about
retiring again, when she perceived that
one of her long braids had been cut of
close to her head. The thief had entered
through an open window, but left no trace
to aid in his recognition.
THE historic $1,000 package which Col.
| York flourishcd in the memorable JOINT
convention of the Kansas Legislature is
again engaging public attention Mr..
Francis, the new State Treasurer, has re-
ceipted for it, and reports it among the
list of valuable papers in his keeping
What to do with it is the all.absorbing
question. York, who surrendered it as
bribe money, will have none of it. Pom
croy claims that it was given to York in
trust for Page, who has. relinquished all
claim to it. Hence there appears to be nc
owner.
STRAwBERR1Es.-Never wash straw
berries if it can be avoided. 1fit must be
done, do it before they are hulled. Use q
large bowlful of water, put in few
berries at time, stir them lightly with
| &ho y
hull them at once, putting them into the
saucers in which they are to be served
Sprinkle sugar over them if needed, and
send to the table without further hand
ling, or leave them to be sugared by the
eater. Every time they are handled take'
something from their freshness, but if il
is preferable for other reasons to place
them in one large dish on the table pu
them at once into the dish as you takt
them from the water and hull them
sprink!ing on the necessary sugar as yor
proceed, so that they will need no stirring
little water that clings to them will mel
the sugar, and with the juice of the frui
will make an exquisite dressing.-HeraM
of Health.
A GEORGIA paper describes Southern
beauty as follows: Among the many Wis
it0rs who came to our city on Saturday
last to sell their country produce was 1
young lady from an adjoining count,
who had chickens, eggs and butter fo
sale. Her beauty was Of transcenden
excellence. Bright, flashing, intellectua
eyes and face round aud rosy, while he
calico dress was plain and neatly mad'
and fitted beautifully. Her rich, blacf
hair flowed in luxurious richness. High
~ educated, she conversed fuently, ant