The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-06-14
ALL SORTS.
The Letter H.

dressed to the lDnaDltantS OF England:
Whereas by you have been driven
From 'ouse, from 'ome from '0pe. from eaven,
And placed by your most learned society
In Hexile HsDguish, and HsDxiety,
Nay charged without ore just pretens',
With Harrogance aud HimPudence-
here demand full restitution.
And beg you'll mend your Helocution.
A pious old gentleman in Georgia has
never sworn an OATH" and has thirteen
grown-up unmarried daughters. Moral:
Even profanity may possibly have advan-
tages.
A Boston man was cursing an editor the
| other day when he fell dead. Similar in
stances have been reported lately. Men
should be careful in speaking of anything
sacred.
| Some captl0us editor asserts that two
pairs of stairs are necessary to every news
paper Office in North CarOlina-one for the
editor to go down as the caller comes up
the other.
A good definition of courtship is that of
Lawrence Sterne. "It consists" says he,
"Of number of quiet attentions, not so
pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to
be understood"
California man tied one end of rope
around his waist, and lassOed Gov with
| the other. He thought he had tho cow, but
at the end of the half mile he began to sus-
pect that the COW had him.
When a man gets into the habit Of walk
ing with his hands tucked under bis coat
| tails-as men who accumulate brain very
fast often do-he ought to leave his cane at
home, if only to avoid Darwinian anal0gies.
! The Postmaster General has decided that
| it is a violation of the law to call . mau 70
piratical old reprobate" on a postal card,
! but you can put on three-cent stamp and
| call him dozen elegant names aud not in
fringe any law.
Worth, the Paris mantua-maker, charges
$1,000 for making 6Ho dress. When the
| wretched husband of one of his customers
get his wife's bills, he strikes dramatic stti
tude, and asks in the words of Daniel Web
ster, "What is ali this, WORTH"
The New York Commercial says: A man
who recently attended lecture on the
"Antiquity of Intoxication," got home
about 2 O'clock, A. NJ, and told his wife
he'd been to hear some remarks on the
"Intoxity of Antiquation."
The Canton Mail says it will be at least
month OF six week before through rail COM
munication will be opened with New Or
leans, the water being still upon the track
on some portions of the road below Manchac,
from five to eighteen inches in depth.
proceedings of meeting of the Silk Asso-
citation, says: The President of the United
States was also drunk without a response"
1t is pity that the President of the United
States can't keep sober on such an occasion
as that.
Some one says if we would show ourselves
really good to our daughters, we must be
generous to them in a truer sense than that
of hanging trinkets on their necks." No
words could be more sensible. Nine girls
out of ten would rather have "handsOme
Teller y hanging round them than a neck
lace. Parents should remember this.
rather singular present received by
New York bride last week was life insur-
ance policy for $4,000 on her husbands life
The poor little thing, all tulle and orange
blossoms wept when she saw it, and con
tinued to do SO until her mamma whispered
something in her ear. She now understands
that the policy does not insure that her hus-
band shall live always.
The Atlanta papers say that "every viii
lage aud borough in the State is projecting
the erection of factories of various kinds.
At no period in the previous history of the
State has Georgia put SO much money in the
manufacturing business as at present. Aud
what is most encouraging of all, those enter
prises now in operation are paying a large
percentage on the capital invested"
The Virginia mother who hit her infant
twins on the back of their diminutive heads,
enclosed them in yeast powder and hid them
as she would bread. But that stroke on
their craninms so Heroded them that any
quantity of leaven would not leaven the
lump. They were bright mnlattOes, and,
according to some of the ancient theOlogi-
cal monsters, God has supplemented the
mothers cruelty by damning them through
all eternity. -
The New York Sun tells of bird fancier
in that city that does an extensive business
in pets. He imports $6O,OOO worth of cana
ries every year, over $4,000 other varieties
of birds, including parrots, paroquets and
cockatoes. The importation Of birds, added
mails suitable for pets: runs up the amount
to about 100000. Most of his customers
are lady shoppers.
The bill which has passed the House of
Representatives at Washington, abol;shing
the Western Federal Judicial District Of
Arkansas, is only another device to avoid
the impeachment or censure of u partisan
judge. The country will be fortunate if he
IS not. like Richardson to escape censure,
only taken gently from one position to
he transferred to another. That is "Civil
Service Reform" as practically carried out
A Virginia railroad was made to nav as
for killing rooster. The engineer said he .
spoke to the gen leman with the whistle az
kindly as possible, but when the fellow
dropped one wing on the ground, raised his
good eye heavenward, and commenced whet-
ting his spur on the rail-, forbearance ceased
to be virtue, and he lit into him with a
train of thirteen freight cars, and forwarded
him to his Happy scratching ground by
lightning express.
Richmond Whig: "The manufacturers of
tobacco and dealers in the weed gener-
ally are considerably exercised by the re-
ports from all directions of the destruction
of the young plants by the fly. The right
thing now for the Tobacco Association to do
is to send out circular to reliable parties
in this State and North Carolina requesting
full information in regard to the extent Of
the damage and crop prospects, the replies
to be filed at the Tobacco Exchange and to
be open to The inspection of all tho menu
bers." 49,