The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1874-05-15
The Chicago Innocent IA Crcma-
Zionist.

W. Editor;
DEAR SIX This Is conflndental AMI
not Tor the public eye. | think can
trust you, and perhaps YOU can advise
me. AIN afraid avn ina serious -cTlpe,
and il IL comes to the eoroner's ears
shall have 10 leave town and oin the
Arkansas army for safety.
Mr.. Pilker, a next door neighbor of
mine, has got his mothcr-in-law in "A hot
place, and fear that am "parlicep.
criminis" Mrs. Widdles is the mother
OF Piiker's wife, she was, | mcmn:
don't know what she isnow. Mrs. Wild
dies has been afflicted with Antarctic
congestiye chills every other day for five
months and seventeen days up To last
4hursday. she had them awful Pilker
tells me that on her chill days his house,
ia the hottest summer weather wa. like
refrigerator and 10y the middle OF the
afternoon the windowpanes were frosted
she got ~ cold sometimes that the milk
frOze in the cellar aud the cat would III
on the hot stove 10 get warm.
On her well day. Mrs. w. made things
as hot IN the house ior Pilker a. any
other dutiiul mother-in-law.
When reached within half a square
of home on Thursday began to shivcr
and knew that Mrs. WiddIcs must have
an extra attack. In a few minutes Pix
er came into my house aud announced
that she had chilled for good aud all.
80 unfortunate too. Peek. the wort
time in the world for me: haven't "A
nickle 10 spare and these things are so
expensive. even il il is only pine wood
and two carriages
Why don't YOU try cremation p
That's cheap
"Crc what y
Fire, YOU know reduce To ashes pnt
The ashes in her iavorite tea calhy on
the shelf, and YOU can always reIDclnbcr
her
That's aw ful. Peck. | couldn't burn
her mp in my own house; get me for ar
son sure
You don't understand. il is the easi-
est Thing in the world do il in the eel
lar it - practiscd in every city now
Let me tell YOU how TO arrange il. Get
"A Sheci-iron cylinder the right length;
20 out on Fourth street and hire that
patent peanut-roaster with tin man on
the side vi ho turns the revolving cylin-
der. put her in. keep up good fire
wind up the machine and away she goes
Everything was prepared the next
night. and the cremation begun. agreed
to keep watch until midnight. and to
Keep myself in meditatiye mood.
read The tilded Age between times.
About twelve O'Clock. thought | would
look 10 see how Mrs. Widdles was get
ting along. and ii yon believe me- there
wasn't a sign of a thaw even. surren-
drrcd thc job 90 Pilker. promising to
drop in about daylight. Went in about
six o'clock aud Pilkcr was fying around
like a lunatic. pling on coal and pine
knols. pouring turpcntine and coal oil
on the fire aud stirring up the whole
with a long poker while The man at the
side was Jerking his BODY back aud
fourth. clickety cack. like cotton gin.
Have you looked inside lately Z"
sail /.
Looked, OF course I've looked, over
aud over. aud there isn't even IA show of
"a perspiration vet"
That was yesterday morning. We
have used eleven barrels OF coal and "A
load OF wood. and that machine j. still
revolving. with no change perccpiibIo
on tho part of the tenant. II j. awful 10
think OF. and il is the first instance ever
heard ct where person wouldn't cre-
mate. Those chills must take at errible
hold on the system. | am sorry for
poor Pilker. because il is a family mat
Ter with him, but | will get all the
blame. |. Y. PECK.