Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-06-18
PHUNNYGRAMS.

An Oakland young lady entered a
drug store lately and wanted to see the
papers for week back, and the intelligent
clerk showed her roll of sticking.
plaster.
A would.be poet went to a grocer's
uptown the other day, and asked for Il
quart of midnight OIL" 1t seems he had
been told that poets consumed no other
The new vest has a deep pocket which
completely hides "A cigar, 50 that the man
who asks you for "the mate to that" can
never bring blush to your face by dis
covering it after you have told him, 81
haven't another-a fellow just gave me
this"
"A wife was enjoined by the doctor TO
give her husband all the delcacies she
could procure as there was no prospect
of his recovering. " No prospect of his
recOverv?" said the loving spouse "then
what's the use of wasting dainty bits upon
him if they won't cure himg'
Dialogue in Cemetery: Wife" All,
husband, do you see this beautiful cary
ing?--how delicately cut in the pure
white slonew Husband Yes, very
pretty" Wife" But, William, YOU have
no taste for art; you don't enjoy these
things as | do. Just notice this slender
column of immaculate marble, with the
touching question so beautifully carved
Do they miss me at home Yn Husband
Yes, see; and here is her name on the
foot-stone-' G. A. b. Yes, guess they
miss her, if that was her name" And
there came silence.
"A young lady in San Jose, Cal, about
tl, nd 3hn -
her choice, and then went right along
attending to her business as il nothing
had happened. But the other day the
happy couple concluded to publish Their
marriage in the Mercury, and the old man
saw it. Showing the notice to his daughter,
he sternly demanded, "What does this
mean? Is il joke, Maria Jane, or is it
reality?" The daughter raised her head,
her face suffused with bushes, and an.
swered, Yes, father, it is joke on your
The old man subsidized.
domestic Incident. -Scene-Oh,
most anywhere. Time-morning. Sister
(heme from boarding school, to brother
who never gets up till delay becomes dan
gerous)-" Willy, the orient flames with
golden splendor-arlse! our morning re.
lection awaits your presencem (William
uOcSH HcaT NlOlHcT kSlOulS dIlci WaIu,
and making great gathering on the bal
listers with broomstick)-" Will
illam! get up this instant, you lazy dog
skin you, and come down to breakfastn'
(William doesn't hear. Father Ia few
minutes later)-" Blu" William (spring-
ing out of bed)-" Coming, sir !"- Boston
Courier.
1t wasn't at Chesaning, but little
further up the country, thatJ. e. Warner,
the Michigan Snowman, picked up an
item one day two or three years ago. The
affair shows that partnerships are not
always pleasant, even if they are protita-
bic. Joe was advertising agent for Van
Amburgh then, and he reached a town and
mounted the stairs of a printing office to
make a contract for advertising. He
heard great rumpus as he assembled the
stairs, and upon opening the door found
two men struggling on the floor as il they
meant TO destroy each other. Here!
what's all this row about?" he inquired
as he stood over them. The men paused
breathing like "heavy" horses, and one
of them said: Were partners, and
we're trying to decide who is boss. F."
"Well, who is boss 2" asked joe" l
want to get some advertising done" Il
can't tell you just yet, stranger" replied
the man, commencing to claw again
take cheer until this little wraste is
decided !'-Detr0U Free Press.
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