The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1874-10-15

pnuemonia, and bilious iaundice.
One day Fanny took Mr.. Chesford to
one side and had half hours serious
conversation with him. At the close of
the conversation he looked almost cheer
full and Fanny was jubilant.
That evening when Mrs. Chesford set
up her customary cry that she was going
to die, Fanny joined with her cordially,
and entered into the making of her will
with evident relish. She also suggested
that the sick woman should have her hair
crimped when she was laid out and that
she should be buried in metallic coffin.
Mrs Chesford looked very much dis
concerted but did not explode, as Fanny
expected she would. She kept her tenn
per-
The next day she made another at
tempt at dying. Fanny stood by the bed
side and asked Mr.. Chesford very audi
BILE question about board to lay her out
on and Mr.. Chesford replied quite as
audibly that he had always calculated to
use the wood-shed door. He had had it
off from the hinges two months, for this
very purpose
The dying woman looked daggers at
him, and uttered a groan which might
have been heard quarter of mile off,
Mr.. Chesfold put his arm around Fan
nys waist and kissed her.
"Never mind DEAR" he said, ''she's
too far gone to notice anything. Her
eyes are set now"
Mrs. Chesford sprang up in bed and
shook her fist at him.
"Set indeed 7" said she, "Set I'll
learn you what set is if you don't"
"Dont exert yourself" said Fanny,
"dont And don't worry about the chill
drenl I've promised David that I'll be a
mother to them when you are gone"
"Of course | am sorry to lose you Ma
riah, said Mr.. Chesford, "but you're such
a great sufferer, it is wicked to want you
to live Andyou're getting old, too"
"Eh?" said Mrs. Chesford, sharply
'old, Ell? You want a young wife, do
you She's every day as old as | ami"
"She wanders," said Fanny, pityingly,
Poor soul! shes almost gone Hadn't
you better step out, David and ask Mrs.
Hanscom to come over and help dress the
body?
"Oh, Fanny my dearest girl! to think
| shall so soon be free = cried Chesford
rapturously, "and then thou wilt be mine >
Mrs. Chesford bounded to the floor
and snatching her gown from the foot
board put herself into it in a twinkling
Selling a bottle of smelling salts, which
happened to be the only weapon at hand
Mrs Chesford hurled it at the head of
her husband, and so accurate was her
aim that the looking glass on the opposite
side of the room was put ont ut
terly.
plague take the looking-glass!" cried
the lady, 'but who keers for looking
glass? Ill larn you how to plot what
you're a-going to do after I'm dead I'll
larn you ! you-you-you and unable
| to express yourselves in words Mrs. Ches-
ford had recourse to the bottles again.
and washes, liniments, ready relief, pain
killer, and preparations innumerable fol
lowed each other in quick succession
hurled in the direction of the devoted
pair!
you're a-going to take keer of my
children, be you? You turn-up-nosed old
maid, you! Ill see you in Halifax fust
And you're a-going to lay me out ON the
wood-shed door, be you, Dave Chester
And you've kept it off the hinges two
months a-purpose, have YEP"
"You said you was going to die" said
David, "and thought it was best to be
prepared"
81 amt a-going to diel l won't! ]
wouldn't if anybody would give me mil
lion dollars!" I'll live and spite ye And
as for you, Fanny Barton, you may take
your things and leave this house, bag and
baggage, or it'll be the worse for ye!'
From that time Mrs. Chesford was one
Of the smartest, healthiest women in Mill
vile; and David had to walk a crack,
as she expressed it, straighter than ever
before in his life.
Fanny went home, and Mrs Chesford
never mistrusted that there was plot be
tween her and David. To this day she
speaks of Fanny as that wicked hussy'
that wanted to break up her family, and
congratulates herself on having met the
crisis with such a coup de'tat