Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-26
BREVITIES.
crrvE cornses-Dead beats.


RED gold balls are fashionable earrings
of the period.
THE Augusta C0nst5tutjoraatist pro-
poses lottery TO pension Confederate
soldiers.
A PHOTOGRAPHER requested that his
signs-"Taken from life'-should be his
epitaph.
''Too many broths spoil the cooks" is
the way poor oppressed belle of the
kitchen put it.
Towering plants have been discovered
in eightv-two degrees North latitude, the
region of eternal winter.
a MAN advertises in New York paper
for bar-keeper "WhO must be recon-
mended by his pastor"
Miss HARRIET AUGUSTA SMITH, of Wis
consin, is added to the list of heroic
women who have shot bear.
IT IS apparent to parent that great
many children get on the wrong track be-
cause the switch is misplaced.
KINDNESS is like the sun in spring,
melting slowly away winters snow and
ice, and shedding warmth everywhere.
THE Wilmington DELI Chronicle says
that strawberries ripened in the open air
were recently gathered in that section.
AN Italian musical education, together
with the advantage of a ct0per0'ae, costs
young lady $4,000 year on an average.
NATURE provides no reserved seats for
the rich and daintily reared. When there
is no ice on the pavement, they sit where
they can.
A PoTTsTowNER (Pa) settled hearty
supper and settled himself by topping off
with one hundred and eighty-two oysters
on the shell.
ONE OF the curi0,ities of this remarka-
BILE winter is 'ia4t the ice men are getting
In their crop without complaint as to
quality or quantity.
TYPES continue to cut up antics, even
in well-reLGlated offices, it is inferred,
from seeing john Brown announced as
s'Hnseed preacher"
IT WAS an expressive remark of prac-
teal man regarding the woman OF the
period recently: "She don't know enough,
sir, to bile water"
OUT Of 5000, 900 eggs a Goldfish has been
known to spawn in one year less than
hundred survive. This must be dISc0ur-
aging to the Goldfish.
/ THINK the first virtue is to restrain the
tongue; he approaches nearest to the gods
VINO KNOWS HOW W NC ollCIb CfCLi ClAOtEoh
he is in the right.-C@t0
THE shad season is expected TO open
early this year Owing to the mildness OF
the season, shad are already coming north
ward from southern waters.
ELI LOVE, of Wayne County, Ohio,
climbed tree to shake out a coon. The
dogs heard something drop and went for
ii, but it was not the coon. 1t was Eli.
A FAITHFUL brother in a Fairfield
Comm church recently prayed for the
absent members "whO were PROSTATE on
beds Of sickness and chairs of wellness."
THE astronomer who can predict the
exposition of a planet in the heavens
a thousand years hence knows not what
may be his own state Of health tO-mOr-
row.
EVENING silks are now quilted on the
bottom on the inside, instead of being
faced with paper muslin or buckram. 1t
is said to enhance "the hang of the
thing"
AN editor sat down and wrote, "White
pique costumes are now popular" and
the compositor set itup, "White pine cOf-
fins are not popular" which of course
they are not.
A DISTINGUISHED preacher says piety is
the best cure for a scolding wife; but he
doesn't tell whether the wife must have it
or the husband.
CHESTER PIKE broke his leg in Con-
cord, N. H., and was carried home. His
wife was frightened, and on running to
meet him fell over a dog, breaking her
arm.
ANOTHER deadly weapon is added to
The list Of those with which assassinations
are committed, and sand club is now
made the means of letting out the sands
of life
ONE of the curious facts succeeding the
severe panic is, that money is now cheaper
in the United States than for year past,
and quite as cheap in England as at any
time in 1878.
A PAIR of twins has been born in Kala-
mazoo, Mich, the net weight of which
is one pound and ten ounces each.
They are perfectly formed, lively, and
great curiOsitleS.
THE estimated cost of the continuation
of the Illinois & Michigan Canal across
the State OF Illinois, from Hennepin to
the Mississippi, is $4,000,000. A survey
has already been made.
A NOTED leader of fashion in New York
wore on New Years a dress of purple
velvet trimmed with white feather trim
ming and lace. 1t was most beautiful and
uncommonly effective.
USEFUL industry does not so much con-
sist in being continually busy as in doing
promptly those things which are of the
first importance, and which will eventu-
ally prove most profitable.
A CYNICAL. writer saws: "Take COM
pany of boys chasing butterflies; put long
called coats on the boys, and turn the but
tert1ies into guineas, and you have
beautiful panorama of the world"
GARLANDs of pink rose-buds are the
prevailing fancy tor trimming thin
dresses, whether of white tulle, green,
blue, or the pretty gray and lavender
tulle dresses that are among the most re-
fined of the season.
PRoFANE swearing is abominable Vul-
gar language is disgusting. Loud laugh
ing is impolite. Inquisitiveness is often
sive. Tattling is mean. Telling a false
hood is contemplate. Ignorance is dis
graceful. Laziness is shameful
Two DATA are given from which to esti-
mate the value Of fowl for the table or
market. A table fowl should be all
breast, with short limbs and small bones;
also, fowls are in perfection for the
table only before they have attained ma
turity.
DIR. LYNCH, in the SdnitGrfGr9, recon-
mends the entire prohibition of the use of
spring and well water in cities. He thinks
thn l1Sa Of wafer of This kind is q fruitful