Omaha daily bee., 1874-05-05
THE GRANGE.
A Peep Into Its Mysteries.
Full Expose Of the Initiation
Ceremonies.

= N6IeElC0lcc'
The editor of a western papt
entered the Grange while under til
influence of "corn juice" and pull
fishes the following account of hi
initiation, after he had gotten owe
his comatose condition
On being brought into tn
ante-room of the lodge Green
grocer Temple, No. 10l) | was tol'
that I had been balloted for and &C
cepted. Ny informant. who wa.
securely masked by what / after
ward learned was a large burdocl
leaf. perforated with holes for thu
eyes. told Inc that if l valued my
life ii would be necessary for me tC
strip. AS / did consider that o.
considerable worth to me, and as he
italicized his wishes by c~arelessly
playing with a seven-shOOter, / with
drew from my garments with eager.
less. My masked friend then fur.
nished mt with the regalia of the
first degree-called 'gThe Festive
PlowbOy"-which consisted merely
of one large cabbage leaf attached
to a waistband of potato vines. In
this airy costume / was conducted
to the door, where my companion
gave three distinct raps. q was
securely blindfolded by binding a
slice of rutabaga I'VE each eye.)
A sepulchral voice from within
asked: "NVho comes%"
My guide answered, "A youthful
agriculturist, who desires to become
a Granger"
Sepulchral voice. Have you look
ed him carefully over?
Guide. l have, noble gatekeeper.
Sepulchral voice. Do you find
any agricultural marks about his
person?
Guide. do.
Sepulchral voice. What are
they?
Guide. The candidate has caroty
hair, reddish whiskers, and a turn
up nose
Sepulchral voice. IT'S well. Why
do you desire to become a Granger?
Guide, answering for candidate).
That / may be thereby the better
enabled to harrow up the feelingsof
the rascally politicians.
Sepulchral voice. You will bring
in the candidate. Ny worthy strip
ling, as you cannot see, l will cause
you to feel that you are received at
the door on the three points of a
pitchfork, piercing the region of the
stomach, which Is to teach you the
three great virtues-faith, hope, and
charity-faith in yourself, hope for
cheaper farm machinery, and char
ity for the lightning-rOd peddler.
You will now be harnessed, and i'm
representation of the horse, Pegasus,
will be tested as TO endurance and
wind.
The candidate is here attached to
a small imitation pillow by means of
a hemper harness. a dried pump
kin vine is put i'm his mouth for a
bit and a bride; he is made to get
down on all fours; the guide seizes
the bride, and, urged on by a
Granger armed with a Canada
thistle, which he vigorously applies
at the terminus of the spine, the
candidate is galloped three times
around the ROOM. While making
the circuit the members arise and
Get up and dus'. you bully boy
Who wouldn't be a Grange?
II the ~tl;istle's prick don't cause you joy,
To feeling you must be estrangei, ali!
After this violent exercise he is
rubbed dry with corn-corbs, bees
waXed where thistled, and brought
up standing before the Great Chief
the Most Worshipful Pumpkin
Head
. Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
Why do you desire to become Gran
ger?
Candidate, answering for HIM
self That i may learn to extin-
guish sewing-machine agents.
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
Have your hands been hardened
with toll?
Candidate. Not extensively; but
then / am not running for office.
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head.
IT'S well, for our lodges contain sew
eral who are supposed to be readyto
sacrifice themselves for the good of
thair constituents n. x-n, fool J
pretty smart this evening?
Candidate. Yes; where the bus
tie goes on.
Most Worshipful Pumpkin Head,
(~savasely). Give me a chaw of to-
backerI
Candidate, searching himself
thoroughly, but as there is no place
about him to stick a pocket, tries to
explain, but the Most Worshipful
Pumpkin Head interrupts him
with
"Never mind, my dear young
friend-I am well aware that i'm
your present condition you can no
more furnish your friends with the
weed than Adam could be comfor-
table in a plug hat and tight boots.
1t is merely to teach you the great
lesson of economy-doing to Others
as you'd like to have them do to
you. You will now be conducted to
the Most Eminent Squash Producer,
who will teach you the grand hail
sign of distress. This sign, my
worthy brother, will insure you
against many of the ills of the agri.
culturist-among others, against
drought, and being bit by the fero-
cious grasshopper.
The candidate is now conducted TO
the Most Eminent Squash Pro-
Queer, who thus says: "My wor-
thy brother, / will now invest you
with the order of The Festive Plow-
10y, which You have well Won by
your heroic achievement while har-
nessed-may you ever wear twith
pleasure to yourself, and may it be
a means of terror to your enemies"
(The Most Eminent Squash Pro-
ducer then proceeds TO invest the.
candidate with the repalia &c "