The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-12-09
Crumbs.
Good name for a criminal magis

close enough to reach"
"A Western paper suggestively
states that there are several horse
thieves changing around' there.
Annie Dickinson wears amethyst
settings in her garter clasps, but no.
body has ever seen them.
Beecher says he thinks the wick
eldest thing in the world is to thump
child on the head. Oh, there are
worse things than that, Nh. Beecher.
The low state of morality in
Brooklyn is showned by the unques
toned fact that nobody has killed
Talmage.
officer Ito native servant:)
"What caste are you, Ramjammee p
Oriental: Same religion as sahib.-
Drink brandy, sar!
A fond husband boosted to a
friend: "Tom, the old woman came
near calling me honey last night" -
did she, BEL; what did she say?"
"She said, well, Old Beeswax, come
to supper
-"Do you keep matchesY' asked
wag of a country grocer. ooh, yes,
all kinds was the reply. "Well, I'll
take trotting match,' said the wag.
The grocer Immediately handed him
box of pills.
An indianapolis paper sinfully
puts two items in juxtaposition, sta
ting respectively that the deputy city
marshal is sick and the saloon keep
ers complain that business is dull.
"A Pennsylvania editor, IN men
tioning the fact that garters with
monogram clasps are now all the ia
shion with pretty girls, coolly adds,
s'and we hope to see more of them"
-"How much for this print >"
"Nine cents, num-" nineteen cents.
I'll give you eighteen" 'Nine cents,
mum; you misunderstood me-
ooh, nine cents! I'll give you eight"
-"What shall we do with our
daughters ?" inquiries Mrs. Liver
more, and Western editor-an hui
man wretch-replies elf they are
like their mothers-wear false hair,
corsets and high eeled shoes, pow
der and paint-wring their necks at
once"
The turkeys are getting fat, but,
at the same time, suspicious. Like
many of the human kind, they can't
receive a favor without mistrusting
it. "a second joint, please, and
some of the white meat-thank your
-" How is it my dear, that you
have never kindled flame in the
bosom of man ~ said an old lady
to her pretty niece, who was portion,
less. "The reason, dear aunt" re-
piled the young lady, "is, as you
well know, that l am not a good
match"
because the authorities of Cedar
Rapids, in Iowa, won't sprinkle the
streets, the Cedar Rapids Times has
got it's back up and refuses to pub
lish anything about t he Beeche'
business. Nothing like independent
journalism for bringing people tt
their senses.
A handsome lady entered dry
goods house and inquired for "a chow.
The clerk threw himself back and re
marked that he was at her service
eyes, but l want a buff, not a greer
one,' was the reply. He went OF
measuring goods Immediately.
--'Mother" said little urchir
when be came home from churcl
where the Rev. DR.. Talmage hat
olflciated, ~ have seen such smar
preacher. He stamped an d made
such a noise, and then he got mad
he shook his fist at the folks, ant
there wasn't anybody dared 60 VI
and fight him. % III
-"Dear George, how sweet ant
wavy that wheat isr' exclaimed
fair young lady, looking languidl.
from car window. eyes, love, hoy
beautifully says dear George, NOR
intent on insinuating his arm aroun
twenty-four-bone corset, show Xix
a-a-how like a dreamr' "Ho'
like oatsW retorted disguised Gran
ger; "them's oats, young mani"
George Brotherton f San Fran
cisco invented an improved metho
of levelling billiard tables, and abou
the same time forged a note. Tn
patent has 81 years to run, which
seven years longer than his term i
the state prison. The device is cor
sidered valuable, and having bee