Litchfield enquirer., 1874-05-21
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Rats are noted for the cellarity of their movements. f,4+eTr s'sapd34er
 Daughtercultural shows are what they call fashionable parties now.
 Buffalo raises the wind to alarge extent by the manufacture of bellows.
 Don't marry man who gets up early. Nothing makes person so insufferably coneeited
 It costs $5 to swear in the open air at Marion, O., and the tax rate is very small there ln consequence.
 One of the badges of American citizen ship appears to be Q soiled shirt front with gold studs.
 Notices are posted in the St. Louis street cars announcing that "this car can't wait foH ladies to kiss good by."
 s'What kind of sausages is them?" quer- jed an old lady of the young man of liter ature and peanuts, as he passed through the train selling bananas.
 Fadover tells us Mrs. Fadoyer says now cremation is the fashion she supposes youu nave to speak of your wedding dress and your burial soot.
 The California farmers lead hard lives ot close calculation and constant economy. One poor fellow at Sonoma has just paid $2,5OO for Mcclellan colt.
 A Missouri jury, in the case of a man found with ten bullets in his head. de- clded that Che had been shot, or met with some bad accident in some manner not just now known"
 t Il don't care: I wish was deadI'' and he sympatbetically .reJoins, ''Hang the bon netl You're never satisfied"
 A California paper, having obtained A new subscriber. records the startling fact in half-column article, headed: s'Still Another! Our Course Endorsed by the People,"
 Patrick" said the priest, Chow much did you steal?" ''Well, may as well confess to your riverence fer the whole stack, for I am going after the whole stack to night"
 An uncle left eleven silver spoons to his nephew in his will, adding. ''He knows the reason l have not left him the whole dozen." The nephew had stolen one
 A Mississippi man has recovered S25.- 900 from the Southern Railroad for kill ing his wife, and is preparing to invest in another matrimonial speculation. He says 1t beats cotton planting all hollow.
 There is man in Newburypot who vis- It's the postoffice at every mail, and if he receives no letters takes an old one from his pocket and reads it as he goes through the street. This has an air of business.
 A gentleman was complimenting pret- ty young lady i'll the presence of his wife. before married you, my dear" "Well, yes, it is extremel y-for her," was the dry rejoinder.
 A Milwaukee man has applied for pa- ! tent on fountain pen, which, by the pressure of the thumb on small rubber ball, projects stream of ink through the holder and into the face of the fellow who IS looking over your shoulder while you are writing.
 At Haywood, England, recently, a man who although married, pretended to be single and went about "courting," was lately detected and was cowhided and tar red and feathered in the street for his sins. A large crowd witnessed the pro- ceedings and applauded them.
 ''The man who lays his hand upon 6 woman, except in kindness, ,"-or, perhaps, the version of Mrs. Robert Shehee of Owasso, Ill.,, is more in accordance with the progress of the age. ''I don't so much care, says Mrs. Shehee, "about mans striking woman with his fist, but when 1t comes to taking an ax to her, it's too much." Mir. Shehee got one month in jail.
 A Wyoming paper thought it shrewd dodge to'announce that it's charges for marriage notices would be ''just what the estacy of the bridegroom mi ght prompt" This worked splendidly with those who paid cash at the time, but when they came to settle whose notices had been inserted on credit the amounts ran discouragingly below the regular rates, and, as about nine-tenths were on credit, that paper has changed it's tactics.
 A Scotch parish once had for minister Q good man remarkable for his benevolent disposition. Meeting one of his parish toners one day he said. "Jeanie, what way do never see you in the kirk? "Weel, sir, said Jeanie, "to be plain wi'ye, I haena pair of shoon to gang vii" A pair o'shoon, Jeanie, I'll not let you stay at hame for that; what would pair cost?" ''Aboot four shillings, sir" Putting his hand into his pocket, he gave Jeanie the money and went his way. Some time af- ter, meeting her again, he said, "Dear me, Jeanie, I've never seen ye in the kirk yet; what way is that?" ''Weel, sir, said Jeanie, ''to be plain wiye, when the wealth er's guid, and l hae time, prefer gaun to Dumfarlin' to hear Mir. Gillespie" "Oh, indeed, lass, that's the way o't, is't? You might hae glen me the first day o'the shoon onY way, dye no think?"