The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-01-31
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES

CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.
The Frceport Bulletin says boastingly
Frank Leslie of no little newspaper renown
has become so reduced pecuniarily tnat nc 10"
fills the humble position of a compositor III the
composition rooms of the Frccport Bulletin
"Reduced" indeed. If now he could have go
work in the office of the Streator Monitor OF
Chicago Times It wouldn't be so bad, but reduced
TO the Frecport Bulletin! Why don't he commit
suicides 4-fsa
The Oo,e COUNTY Grange grows boodthirsty. A
contemporary having remarked that it costs twt
thousand dollars to bury congressman al
Washington the Grange says: "We will agree
to take the lob at half that price and commence
the first of Februry, if the people says So"
This is the outspoken opinion of young lady
of Lyons, Iowa, on the subject:
"Some men are always talking about patroniz
ing their own town-always harping on mat outy
and vet they 20 abroad to get married, "hlle
here we all stand waiting! do nope lhat some
of these men who marry eastern women VIII @e'
cheated" .n .#yEH. ,f a.t.
The following is copied from the traycler'S
book at an inn in Swtzerand
THE TWO TRAVELLERS
GIVE lost my portmanteau.'
~ pity your grief"
"All my sermons were In it' p
81 pity the thief" -
A Kansas paper, which finds it expedient to
avoid personalities, says: Mrs. Gurnscy, of
Fort Scott recently fired at some burglars, and
next day one OF the aldermen had his arm am
putated." lBNLUtE ~Ita.3 q.
The Pilot, at Jackson, Miss, wants an editor
The last one went out with revolver TO upho4u
one of his editorials, and came back on a wagon
with blanket over him. Next! -@
The Mount Pleasant, Iowa, Journal devil thinks
II nm all.wise Providence that ordans that re-
licious reyiyals don't set III until after the stove
pipes are all set up. .is.g .r.s.. &C.. ..
Chicago husband claims divorce on the
ground that the lady is in training for u pedes-
tran match, which is not at all the match he
bargained for.
They are getting ready to impeach the wretch
ed Durell, the Louisiana judge, and Grant Is get
ting ready to write him letter OF confidence as
he did Cofax and Carpenter
New Haven editor spent last Sunday in
Slawson, and attended church. When the con
tribution. box came around he was IN dozc, but
on being nudged, hastily explained: ~ have
pass"-DdnbuDy Neus.
A Massachusetts, husband, who claimed d.
yorce from his wife on the ground that she had
married another man whose society she prefer
red, got tripped up by the wifc's proving that
she wasn't married to the other man at all
The editor of one OF our Illinois exchanges says
that afiixes, suilixes and prcfxcS are not accord
ing to his taste. Perhaps he would prefer to
keep clear of all kinds of fixes.
Julia Ward Howe says that there is nothing
but dumb submission for tho women" There
isn't Ell? She ought to meander through this
state and look upon the splintercd rolling pins
and battered potato mashcrs.--Letr0h Free Press
St Louis reporter has talked with man LII
years old, but what's that to sitting up all night
with Susan b. Anthony, and hearing her personal
rccollections Of old Pompeii! ....
"Let the girls" remarks the Sprinield Repub-
lean, 'learn to swim right away All right;
but wouldn't it be better to have some under.
standing about how far they are TO swim and
whether they are TO swim back again?
An Arkansas editor remarks that they have
but one politician in that state who is "beyond
suspicion" They have positive proof against
him
Editors are properly appreciated and duly,re
cognized at Duluth. They are made highway
commissioners, constables and presidents Of ice
companies.
A New York establishment adyertises: Neatly
fitting shirts furnished to order by express, c. o.
D., on furnishing the color Of the hair and cir
conference of the thumb"
The Cedar Falls Recorder reports having found
the meanest man. The chap donated pair Of
WORKOUT summer pants to the homesteaders but
took out the pockets and ripped the buttons off
before parting with them.
Sod corn Catawba, vintage Of 1872" com
prises the entire "wiuc' list Of Lafayette hotel
When the repeal Of the salary grab was first
proposed in Congress, Ben Butler ridiculed it As
the demand of the forty -ackass mud power, the
press" But ne finally succumbed to the power
nevertheless and voted for the repeal.
Iowa matron occupies the position of moth.
er-in-law to sixteen bjeet men. And the people
talk Of slavery. away OF in CubaE-Ne0 York
Herdd. 'stg' lssttlHtlU.
1t took two justices, seven lawyers aud is Jury.
men four days in WenoAa last week to decide on
the ownership ofacar load OF coal 1t had cost
the rghtfal owner, when he finally got it. about
10 dollars ton, and the one that didn't own il
about Sl5 ton.
The church militant is the church triumphant
at Cssteton, stark county. man Of sin had
subscribed IS TO the church and then refused to
pay The church sued and that little s. netted
the treasury sll.5O when it was finally paid over