, 1874-05-29


| OF DnnkartlB. which has boen In aosaion ut
drard. ILL.,, during tho past woek lavo dcyel-
oped homo curious factB concerning tho forms
aid praotices Of this remarkably ascotio donoml-
| nation. That filthy and abaurl saint. Simon
stylites, who STOOD upon his pillar for forty
years, could hardly have been moro completely
removed from tho temptations Of this naughty
world Or moro abstinont than tho H,odern Dunk
ard griovoua wrong has been dono tl,em by
tho telegraph, which Las peraiatontly styled this
gathering tho National Convention Of Drunkarila.'
md many Of tho prominent Eastern papers
aro puzzled to account for tho fact
that 10000 drunkaris have migrated TO
llInois, ,-somo, moro eapient than tho oslers,
looking upon 1t M one OF tho first fruits Of the
rocout or,1sado. Tho Dunl,ar,i, however ia no
drunhard. THO Dnnkarl drinks no intoxicating
liquor Of any description. His beverage Ii
wator, and Ills food is aB simpto Us Ills drink,
Tito fe1nale Dunkaris wear no Jowolry, no
foathors, no gay colors, no artincials''
Tho fashionable competition which makes tho
life Of tho dry.goodH mud muory h,,Bincas. aud
adda 30 much to the pioturcsluenosa Of tho
street, ta unknown to them, as tlloy oil droBB In
the samo color and cut Of garment. They ltnow
nothing therefore, Of tho 1no fotnale distraction
over fri'l or bias, tho dreadful uncertain
ties attending compliments OF color, tho
qnalmB Of envy at nosghbor'a supe-
riority, and tho delight consequent upon
tho annual Eastor exhibition. Tho ma!o
Dunkard must wear full, flowing board, anl is
not cvon allowed tho luxury Of wearing hla
moustacho without whiskors.
Both tho male and female Dunkards are
obliged to groot thoir respective aoxos with tho
holy kiss. 1nasmuch as tho inevitable negro
WHO gets into everything has also got Into tho
Dunkards, tho holy kiss hns become little en-
barrassing. Tho white male Dunkard doubtloss
might liss tho white female Dunkard with feryor
and JUNCTION and enjoy tho operation. 11o might
kiss tho white malo Dunkard with solonnity,
evon ii hc did not enjoy tho operation. But
when 1t caine to tho necessity Of perform
Ing tho operation without regard to
sox, color, or previous condition Of scr
vitudo. thcn tho soul Of the Virginia
Duulsard revoltod, and ho demanded that tho
Conference should not mako 1t national mat
ter. Tho result waa TINT It WAS ro1egatod to tho
churches, ench church boing loft free to ostab-
liah its own standard Of kissing. Eyon with
thla reservation it is not probable that the sect
Of tho Dunkards will vory largely spread
among tho worlds people, with whom kissing
goes by favor. Tho outlook IL altogothcr too
dark.
The Dunkard, Furthermore, canuot Join tho
orangers, nor any aeoret society, nor any
worldly institution Of any description. Ho can
not hold any political Office. Ho cannot bear
arms. He cannot use i hymn ORR tuno book. Ho
cannot have 4 piano or my musical instr1-
mcnt, bocauaa thoy arc worldly. We arc rather
surprised m exception was not made In favor Of
tho harp, as thia la peculiarly heavenly inatru-
mont, all tho nuthorittes agreeing TINT oyery ono
in Heaven III proficient with TINT instrument.
Tho Dunknrd reaaonB that fashionable instr1,-
mont would lead to fashionable company: fasl,-
1onablo company to picnios; pcnica to parties
parties to dances; dances to 1ate suppora; lato
"NfFNAH ~ "AAot "AAV w HAtDAft Anh HAAh9 W
tho gaIlows. Rather than take any riska Of bo-
Ing worldly or doing anything worldly, the
Dslnkard osohcws everything oonnootod with the
world, except 30 far as it becomes necessary for
him to havo relations with 1t for tho purpose Of
sustaining life End carrying on business.
The only advantage VIC zee in being Dunkard
is that e is not allowed to GO to low, which saves
him great doal OF trouble and expenao. THUS
tho Dunkard. as he oxists to-day, is An anti
quatod, conservative, angular fossil, blind to
tho worlds beauty deaf to s music, calloua to its
goodness, and opposed to it's ways, Its forms. It's
usages, and ita Institutions 40 ia the host Dunk
ard who knows loast Of tho world and hss
loast to do with 1t. Constituted thus. 1t
ia IN ino1plIcablo mystory why tho Dunkarl vas
over sent into tie world, aud 1t Ia probably juHt
aB inexplicable to tho Dunlsard why the world
was over created. a correspondent writos to
TuE TRIBUNE saying: "Aro thoro really such
pooplo as the Dnnkards2 Arc they Amsrcans7
Are they scot OF Christians ?" Tho three
questions may DO auBwored In tile affirmative.
TLoir denomination waa founded in 170s III
sehwartzenau. Germany by Alexander Maol
aud Heven otLors, and tlloy received their namo
as nickname from the German tuaken, ITO
Dip to distinguish thom from tho Mennonites.
They wcro driyon by persecution to Crofold
and Holland, aud botwoon 1719 and 172o
the whole scot migrated to Amorlpa Their
church government is nearly tho pamo as that Of
other Baptist churchoe, aud they believe ia gem
eral redemption, although they deny thnt they
are'Untyolsalists. Believing in general radsmp-
tion. however, 1t ia not easy to SOS why they
should voluntarily dony themselves all the pleas-
ures of tho world, unless thoy fancy that by 40
doing they may havo privileged place iu tho
world hereafter.
The General AHaembly OF the Presbyterian
Church North has received fEatornal oyerturea
from the Old School Synod Of Missouri. THIS
EvDnf1 vnp rnnnnctnd will FIN 0tI Rehont