The Hawaiian gazette., 1874-06-24
arieIy-

Nuts for Cramationists-Buruta almonds.
WHAT'S invariably the beginning Of love The
letter L.
Aunt Hannah says cremation is =" burnIng
shame
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each Of his
children dram.
Only 1000 Of the 6.OOO words Of the Bible are
now in any sense obsolete.
Ii one speak evil OF you, let your life be such
that none viii believe him.
Hood called the slamming Of 4 door by per
son 10 a passion wooden OATH
What are the most unsociable things in the
world 2-AIile-stones. You never see two Of
them together
A Western railroad company had to pay q Geor-
rian, named Boring. $4,000 for breaking MS leg
This was boring TO some purpose.
q. Dried tonrua," is the answer which q minis
ter. Just going ont TO +" exchange" gave some
one who asked him what be had in his carpet
bar-which contained seven sermons.
The Cincinnati C5musrcial Of the 5,h inst
breaks out ii no less than twenty-two editorial
paragraphs on Ben. Batter. It's the rashest
thing the Commercial has ever dOne.-Brook.yH
Argus.
..Yyhy.r asked governess Of her little child,
81 do We p-av to God to give Us our daily bread +?
Why don't YOU ask for four days, or FIVE days, or
n wssl, - I'VE want II fresh, replied the inge-
nious child.
No Norwegian girl is allowed to have beau
until she can bake bread aud kait stockings and
Is a consequence every girl can bake and knit be-
fore she can read and write, and she doesn't have
10 be coaxed into her industry either.
Sc Here's your money, boy, now tell me why
vour rasca,ly master wrote eighteen letters about
that contemplate sun" I'm sure, sir, l can't
say; but if you'll excuse me, sir, 1 sort o reckon
twas because seventeen didn't fetch it,
The man that now most resembles George
Washington is one Of Barnums oannibals.
g. Which Of the Fiii Islands did you come from p
asked one Of his visitors, the other day The
canuibal couldn't tell q lie 50 answered Tip
perary, bedad.'
scott County, Minnesota, claims the most ex-
tensive Limburger cheese factory in the West.
One hundred and twenty cows contribute to the
formation Of the article. The cheese is declared
to be ripe" when piece the SIZE Of a bean will
drive cog out Of lanyard.
The precious lad who invented. the following
couuu6rum has had ice on bis head for some
days. aud il is thought he viii recover if kept
quiet week or so: &" Why is sn elephant unlike
n tree ee?-Because a tree leaves IL the Spring, and
the elephant leaves when the menagerie does.
why are doctors called physicians. mamma p
said an inouistiye little girl to her mother, who
had Just been visited BY one Of them. Physi-
ciun.~ replied mamma, who was seldom at a loss
for an answer, comes from .fas-soski as the doc
tor rides about all day seeking fees
A correspondent Of the Meriden Rspu5l.o1a
concludes lengthy and reverent account Of the
recent Young Mems Christian Association Con
ference at Bristol with the following somewhat
ambiguous sentence: At o'clock the writer
took the train and agreed with Others that II was
good to be there
An eccentric old buffer says he likes the feel
Ing Of laugmaggas operations 50 much that he's
going to have all his teeth pulled one day, for
q month. His wife advises him to have his new
set Ct 50 tight that he'll have to 60 through the
same operation on taking them on: for the night
and he's expected TO do it.
The Chicago TINES suggests that St Louis
sbould have injected into her municipal arteries
some Of the virile blood Of her robust neighbOrs
Chicago. for instance No, thank you; We
had rather not catch any Chicago diseases, and
are better of without the virile blood Of-Cray,
for instances. Lows DsRecraL
Judge to intelligent jurymanl-4 Would you
convict man on ciroumstantial evidence = Il
dunno wo. dat is. Jedce1 Well what do you
think il iss- well cor,iin' to my jedgment. sar-
cumsthnshil is bout dis: Ef one man shoots
apnusder an kills him. be orter be hung for it
ef he don't klll him, he orter to 60 to de pleuiPO
tentiary.1
Advertisement in a Yicksburg paper: my at
tentiou has been called to an editorial in the
Vicksburrh Herald Of to-day which might reflect
upon me. denounce the author Of said article
as a lar, scouudrel. and coward" Your irsi-elass
Vicksburz editor always stands up to his knees in
guupoEder, with parcel of fellows fOOling
around. each with lighted cigar in his mouth
C5lgisT7.lsHT1al