The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-04-18
Peter, the Pumpkin Eater.
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had q wife and couldn't keep her,
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very we'll.

IT is an unfortunate thing to have
wife and to be unable to keep her. There
are several ways of keeping wife, among
which might be mentioned, keeping her
happy, keeping her at home, keeping her
well provided for, keeping her out of mis-
chief, keeping her afloat, in case of a
steamboat accident, and keeping her COM
pany evenings; in short there is an in.
definite number of ways for a man to
keep his wife in case he is capable of
keeping her.
Every married man should endeavor to
keep his wife happy. I do not affirm that
every married man is capable Of doing
this, for many men are 50 unfortunate as
to be married to women who are incapa-
BILE of being happy. Such men are mar
tyrs, and deserve the tender commisera-
tion of the whole civilized world. The
best thing that they can do is to keep
cool and keep their wives in good temper
IT it is a possible thing for them to do so.
The wife is the central figure of 4
happy home. 1t is her influence that
creates the most perfect home happiness
Therefore he who has worthy wife
should use every endeavor to keep her
happy, for upon her amiability and good
nature depend the peace and comfort that
husband finds about his home fireside.
Keep your wife at home if you can,
hat is if you have home for her, if not,
make it your first effort to. furnish her
with home. 1t is no profit to a woman
to be running about the neighborhood she
lives in, acquiring habits of idleness and
to the neglect Of her domestic duties. One
Of the best ways for man to keep his
wife at home is to stay at home himself.
Koov, hor vuo11 ,,r1vys1nI %loA ~
kindlings are properly split and prepared
for her to light the customary morning
fires, unless you are patriotic enough to
arise and perform that onerous duty your
self; see that she has new calico gown,
a switch, new bonnet and pair of gaiter
boots occasionally, and you will find that
it will produce marked change in her
disposition and demeanor.
Keep her out of mischief, do not let her
acquire habit of gossiping about the
various doings of the neig ghbors, provide
her with some pleasant occupation, and
take her to an occasional concert or
lecture.
And so l might mention many other
methods of keeping wife. A man must
use his own judgment and reason in the
matter. If he is unhappy in his various
domestic relations, let him thoughtfully
sit down and soberly reflect upon his Sit
uation, and try to come to some correct
conclusion as to the cause of his various
difficulties, disagreements and perplexi-
ties. He will find in many instances that
the fault lies in himself, either in his neg.
lect or innate selfshness. He can by
little tact and kindness make his home
happy and his existence thus quite toler-
able, if only he has the mind to do so.
"Peter" was at first very unfortunate
man, not because he had a wife-for a
good wife is a real treasure-but because
Of his inability to keep his better part
Probably his first impulse was to devout-
| ly wish himself a bachelor again. How
many melancholy male beings have
lived since Peters time that have lived
long, strangely suffered, and despairingly
died, wishing wishes for like freedom,
that in the course of human events was
impossible. Peter rejecting upon his
situation determined to make the best of
it; he provided his wife with home. It
was an humble habitation, pumpkin
shell, but it was better than nothing, and
we can only infer from the conclusion of
his brief narrative that he was subse-
quently prosperous and happy.
If a man therefore does as we'll as he is
| able, his wife should never find fault with
him because he does not do better; she
should have proper consideration for
his worldly interests, and not endeavor to
lead him to live beyond his means.
know of few things more worthy of
emulation than the example of a model
wife, who, having her husbands interests
truly at heart, uses her influence, good
Judgment, and her own willing hands to
hel p him to get start in the world. The
conduct of such woman will often do
more than q mans own ambition to slim.
ulate him to greater and nobler efforts in
the achievement Of worldly success and
prosperity. Eugene J. Hall, in Our FIRE
side Friend