The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-06-19
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.

DOLLARS and sense do not necessari-
| ly travel together.
Why is marriage like a fatg paying
job? The ring fixes it.
HOOP called the sIamming of the
door by q person in q passion a wooden
damn.
PRUSSIA. since its adoption of the
Manser rifle, has been selling its old
needle guns to- China.
WHAT are the most unsociable things
in the world? Mile-stones. You never
see two of them together.
THERE is a Brooklyn man who wears
mourning for his mOther-in-law. He
wears it on the lining of his coat.
THE young lady out west who re-
ceived 81, 900 damages for a kiss, is said
to be spelling to be damaged again.
! PRETTY good land can be bought IN
South Carolina for five cents per acre,
but there's $24 back tax on every acre
of it.
THE Kentucky topers, who signed q
petition to have whisky put down,
| thought it meant put down to five cents
glass.
THERE is nothing more calculated to
weaken boys moral character than to
get his fshing-hoOk fastened to root
in the river.
THE difference between perseverance
and Obstinacy is that one often comes
from a strong will, and the other from
strong won't.
IK life it is difficult to say who do
you the most mischief-enemies with
the worst intentions, or friends with the
best.-BdtL1Oer.
Mr.. KAvANAGH, a member Of the
British parliament, has neither legs nor
arms. He holds his pen in his mouth
when he signs his name.
Mrs. GRANT cried, Nellie cried, Sar-
toris looked sad, the president blew
his nose, and then the newly-married
couple went aboard the steamer Bawl-
tic.
THERE is as much greatness of mind
in the owing of a good turn as in doing
it and we must no more force re-
quital out of season than be wanting
in it.-iSeTecG.
90 GAsooZLING" is a new slang word,
meaning to ''honeyfugle." If any one
shouldn't know what " honeyfugle is,
we explain that it is the synonym for
'hOrnswOggie."
THIS is a very rash spring. Nine ont
of ten men who carry red noses lay it to
something throwing out rash. !"
There's moro lie about this nose busi- .
ness than there ought to be.
In Maine, recently, by the advice of a
clairvoyant, a body was exhumed and
reburied with the face downward, as
means of staying the ravages of con-
sumption in the corpses family.
Look AHEAD
A pelican, flying home one day
With fine fat fish from Oyster Bay,
Was met by a crow who had sought IN vain
For something to still his hunger's pain
And who knew that fish was good for the brain
So he slyly said, "Why friend what's in you,
To carry fish at full necks length?
Is that any way to economic strength!
l call it a waste of muscle and sinew.
Just throw your head over your shoulder, So
You distribute the weight over all your frame,
You can carry double load Of game.
And thus, without tiring, home you gOl"
The pelican did his false friend bade,
But striking bough he came to wreck,
And down he fell with broken neck,
And the crow had royal dinner of shad.
wrote this fable for three little men,
Whose names are Willie and Arthur and Jack ;
And this is the moral, clear and plain
''When you forward don't look back"
John Hay, i1l 50. Nicholas.
THEY have dumb pianos in London,
for the benefit of those who wish to
learn Thalbergian lingering; and our
better music as general thing than the
other kind.
THE expenses of the Tichborne trial
to be paid by "the present baronet"
amount to e92, 600. This sum does not
include the expenses of the trial for
perjury, which are to be paid by the
government.
The rubber which lines the tail of a
lady's dress IS a bad thing for a man
with weak lungs. It makes so much
noise over the brick pavement, that the
young man is compelled to whisper his
sweet nOthings in a voice OF thunder.
"PHEBE CoUzDs doesn't dress like
her brothers of the bar" says the
Tribune, by way of commenc-
ing an item. That's undoubtedly true;
she dresses by putting on her clothes
over her head, while they don't, and,
what's more, they can't. But what bust
ness is it of the Tribune's, anyhow?
ARIZONA territory, which is popularly
believed TO be wealthier In minerals
than California or Nevada, is fast recov-
ering from the prostration caused by
Indian raids. Many of the mines which
have lain untouched for years on
account of the Apaches are again being
worked. and the results are said TO be
wonderful.
WHAT a row the women would make
if men wore stOve-pipe hats at concerts,
lectures, and the theatre. The dear
creatures turret their heads several
stories high, and TO sit behind one of
them in a place of amusemsntis is equiva-
lent to not seeing any thing that is going
on IN front No wonder the men 90 ont
to smile under such affections.
COMMANDER BELKNAP, of the United
States navy, has submitted 70 the de-
partment in Washington an interesting
report of deep-sea soundings In the Pa
cific ocean made by him for the purpose
of ascertaining the most favorable route
for an ocean-telegraph between Japan
and San Francisco. The greatest depth
reached was 3, 3,287 fathoms. It is the
opinion of scientific men concerned in
the survey that a continuous range of
submarine mountains extends from ia
pan to the Sandwich Islands. Six
peaks, ranging from 1000 t. u, 600
feet In height, were measured.