Omaha daily bee., 1874-06-22
MATRIMONIALTIES.

The gentleman who offered his
hand III marriage, to a very fat
woman, got a plump refusal.
The report that Miss ADELAIDE
Phillips, is about to marry, has been
contradicted.
A Burlington, VT, lass has ac-
complished the dream of her child
hood by marryinga circus clown.
She has for years been wild for such
all alliance.
Milwaukee wisdom "When
you c a young couple late at
night on the lake bank chewing
and eating each other, just let 'em
alone, They are only fooling."
A marriage was broken up i'm Du-
luth by the young man making an
unexpected call, and finding the
poodle dog playing with his true
loves glass eye.
According to reports one ofthe
Pope's nieces has declared her in
tentian of having a voice in the be-
stowal Ofher own hand, and has
refused to marry Signor Asauln,
nephew OF a cardinal of that name,
who has been chosen for her.
Mr.. Curry married Miss Mary
Cummings, at Los Angeles, five
years and seven months ago, since
which time Mrs. Curry has presen-
ted her husband with ten children,
an the shape of five pairs of twins.
They now reside in Mendocino
City.
Sweet Mollie Nudge resides on
the banks ofthe Mississippi in a poor
howell with her father, who hates all
mankind, and has made his daugh-
ter promise never to marry. Mollie
is described as so beautiful and in
telligent no unmarried man was ever
known to see her without offering
to make her wife.
A Piute Indian presented himself,
with his Mahala; TO Father Manog-
ne, at Virginia, a few days ago, and
desired to be married 'like white
man." The reverend gentleman,
having ascertained hat the proper
conception of the obligations they
were about to take upon themselves,
baptized the pair and then tied the
hymenial knot.
A Lafayette wedding was broken
off at the moment of contamination
by the discovery that the prOspec-
tive groom has a wife still living
somewhere in Illinois. The parties
had been keeping company for
nearly three years, and thediscOvery
of the prospective bridegroom's per-
fidy was made just in the niche of
time.
One of San Jose's fair daughters
received her papa's permission to
spend a few weeks at Santa Cruz.
She stalled from home last week,
and on the way was overtaken,
quite by accident, by a nice young
man. They journeyed together, and
at Santa Cruz a parsOn made them
of tone flesh" The old folks have
taken the matter under advise
ment.
One day last week ayOung couple
went to a Justice of the Peace i'm
Osceola, KY, and were married.
On the way home the groom took
occasion to lay down the law to
his young wife, and informed her
what she must, and what she must
not do. a row ensued, and "the
bride of an hour returned to her
fond parents, while the groom
started West, to grow up with the
country.
A Nashville friend of ours, who
has just been married and gone into
housekeeping, mentions, incident
ally and uncomplainingly, the fol-
lowing few of his wife's relations
that comprise his (?) family: "His
wife's mother, three sisters, seven
step-sisters, two widowed aunts,
their four babies, three maiden
aunts, three cousins, two nieces, one
grandmother, two grandaunts, and
an adopted female infant and he
the only man i'm the house." Fam
cy a midnight alarm of fire i'm that
Misunderstanding Ners.
A few days ago a young couple
registered their intentions to be
married at the City Clerks office.
The clerk recorded their names in
due form, gave them a little of that
excellent advice of which he has so
bountiful a store, and pocketed the
fee. Yesterday the intending wO-
man told a friend that she was mar
ried and living with her husband.
On cross-eXamination she described
the ceremony that the clerk went
through when she IA as she sup
posed united to her true-love i'm the
bonds of matrimony. At this re-
cital she was informed that she had
only been Registered and could
not be married until she received
her certificate. This made trouble
in the young woman's mind, and
she at once started for her brevet
husband and broke the awful intel
ligenee to him. He was thunder
struck, and the once happy couple
are debating what to do about it
Portland Press.
Married people should treat each
other like lovers all their lives, then
they would be happy. Bickering
and quarreling would soon break off
love affairs; consequently, lovers
indulge in such only to a very limi-
ted extent. But some people-men
and women both-when they have
once got married, think they may
do just as they please, and it will
make no difference. They make a
great mistake. 1t causes all the diff
ference i'm the world. Women should
grow more devoted, and men more
fond after marriage, if the have the
slightest idea of being happy as
wives and husbands. 1t is losing
sight of this fundamental truth,
which leads to hundreds of divorces.
Yet many a man will scold his
wife who would never think of
breathing a harsh word to his
sweetheart; and many a wife will
be gium and morose on her hus-
bands return, who had only smiles
and words of cheer for him when he
was her sutton. How can such peo-
pie expect to be happy?