, 1874-12-13
DIcKMAH's EXPERIENCE AS A COLLECTOR.
Tr1tten for 4As CHICAGO Tribuu

| "fs~S%'s1eE II ~ LH1G2Qa 1F1QuHEs
an young man Of limited means-e1-
trenaeiy limited-in fact, have been living on
IS week and promises for the past two years.
am also 4 very e1citable, quick-tcmpered
| young man; bnt under certain circumstances /
can be forbearing-
Last Saturday lost my eituation, and, Of
course, had immediately to bestir myself and
procure another. In reading the list of adve..
tisements in Sundays paper, came across tbs
following;
WAxTED--A collector; Young man rs collector;
one who underestimate his business; apply e.r1y Mon.
day morning to Dr.. Dobbs, IS street
This Was what wanted,-somo light out-udot
work, where could have plenty of exercise.
1applied Monday morning. and, as the adver.
ti.enent said early, I called about s a. N. ]
rans the bell. and MAS soon pleased to see tia
Doctor. He invited me- to enter, which I did.
! and in few words made known my mission.
The Doctor seemed pleased with my appearance.
and in short time had engaged to do his col.
locting, and was to receive for my services ye.y
liberal salary. At o'clock started out NTH q
t book full Of bills, feeling that was tho best
collector in the business, and good appetite for
| breakfast. The first man ] called on was Mr,
David Doggs, called s'Uld Dave Bogss by the
men on Change, md ''Deacon Bosgs" by the
members Of F. Street Church, OF which he was
|
| d model husband aud father. + rang aud asked
to see Mr.. BoggB and was ushered into the Gin-
ing-room, where Mr.. BosGs and his nutneroua
family were at breakfast. That gentleman arose
| wished to SEQ him. / answered it Was, whom hs
Immediately asked if would not sit up and
have some breakfast. I lad been expecting
this, and 'sat NJ" with alacrity. As was re-
cake, one Of the young Boggscs at nv sid.
| grabbed my hand, and roared out, ''That's my
| casn! Ma, make him gimme my cake!" Tho
lady thus appealed to held up her hands in hor-
| ror at the boldnesa of her dear Jimmy.
| This little incident confused me considerably
| but fortunately had presence OF nina enough
to swallow part Of the cake before he could lay
further CLAIM it. At this juncture, to add eti
further to my confusion, another ono OF tho little
| brutes upset the conteuts OF tho sirup-mug on
my best light brceches. Hastily grabbing my
napkin, essayed to check the ride of sweetness
rolling down my legs. After regrets and apollo
gies BY the lady, aud reprinands by tbs slre, I
again attempted to resume eating. | took my
spiration from my brow, when discovered to
my horror that I had put the napkin covered
with sirup into my pocaet and lad been rub
bing it over my face. One Of tho young tiend4
ed this, and at oneo commenced to srieka1
and snort. felt as If / wanted to throw my
cake at his head, and in clutchiag it abstracted-
" spilled the coffee on my hand, and scslded
tl6 shlll Hi ou LT hutCA1b6- Lib 1a]uels EGeI0H
him laugh apparently without cause. reached
over and hit him on the head with his kn1la-
handle, with the remark - Adelbert Henry. hoH
often have told you the impEoprlety OF laugh
ing at the table 2" :' ha,nt iafin at the table;
I WAS Iafin' at that feler's faco ali ke1slapped
over with merlaEees!" At this there WAS gen.
e1al snort from all the little doyils. which made
me wish had them all of in soEie place where
I could deal with them in manner to Eati6fJ
my outraged feelings.
Breakfast boing orcr, I was introduced to the
sslittle darings,' as their induEent mother
called them I did not know one from she
other, however, when it was over, as my MUD
had been occupied in watching small brinoaa
silk hat. He would first uibble Et.1e and then
jump on it aud shake it around under CHAIR. ]
did not dare say anything for fear Of oTendio.
ono of the little darngs," one Of which, Dora
kiss. Size had ochre yellow hair, which was cut
short on the neck. She WAS also freckled, and
had watery blue eyes, She caEa forward. and
put her arms around my neck. and siobberad in
my eye. When she got down scraped q large
lump of butter of my coat-collar-
Mr.. Boggs now asked me into his library to
see about that s.i1tle business" Was very
glad to Co. babe all tho little imps gcod-by,
and went into tho library: 31r. Eosgs stood
smiling and rubbing his hands, aud said So",
Mr.. -, Mr.
!" Dickman, sir" snid I.
SHOW, Mr. Dickman, about that little busi-
ness"
/ pulled out nv book.
80, q check, he said, still smiling.
"Yes, sir, check will do Just as well as tho
cash, I remarked
:. Or COURSE said be, "a it will be al tho
sano.'
then handed him tho bill
"Whv. this a-a-bil1," said he.
Ies sir. nll OF DR.. Uobbs; didn't you un-
derstand 2"
''II-no !, I have not got tho amount OF
money this bill calls for"
This answer disappointed me. as had hoped
to get the money but, as he did not la 70 it, I
left tho bill and bado him good morning, prom
ising to call again.
l now took car to the south end of town, to
see gentleman By the name Of Fitzjinks. IA
+ approached the house saw man hoelug N
the garden. l advanced toward him sminng-
He looked up, and from tho first glance took
him to be very mild kind Of d man. said
"Good morning. Mr, Fitzjnks, you have beau
tlful garden here"
HAY, what say7 {ou'u hare to speak ratter
LOUD. I'm a Little deaf.
II say, Jou have very ine garden here,"f
repeated.
II called to see if you could pay that little
bill OF Dr.. Dobbs'," said I.
''Bu1bB, O yes.-I've got great many" said
"Bill! bill" said 1; *'Dr- Dobbs' bill"
swell, yes. was thinking OF building in the
spring, but times are so hard don't know"
II didn't ask about your building!" ahoused,
II want money" .....
swell, yes, that's what told Mariar, but she
thought it would bo best to wait till spring"
81 don't caro- what rou told 3Iaria!" yelled;
~ want money, money, money!
''That'a jea' the way it il with me-moncy,
money, money ; it seems q though folks think
eyerybody's made Of money nowadays"
II don't caro- . CUES what folks think !" howl
ed "I want you to pay Dr. Dobbs' bill; /
won't stand fooling round any longer"
Yes yes, sllat'a ny ideo e1acsly the longer
they wait, the better"
III don't care damn for your idee'!" ]
screamed ~ want LII. Dobbs' money-moaey
OF blood"
During this time had advanced toward him,
when, raising his head. he saw my excited look.
and, divining danger, raised his hoe and knocked
me down into goosebe1ry bush, and then yelled
murder, md rushed at me again with the hoe.
He jumped on to my stomach; he cultivated my
ribs with the hoe-handle :: he kicked me- and
trnmpled me into the earth. Then :" Marias
came running up, hallooinE murder, fire, police,
and heaped still further indiSnitles upon me-: by
hitting me in the eye with vet mop. then
nearl; tainted, and the old cnss caught IN tha
sprinkler and poured the wator IN my mouth and