davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
THE New PANAcEA.-Modern science

THE New PANACEA.-Modern science
having demonstrated that alcohol is
neither food nor physic," but, on the
contrary, a species of poison, the in
PRODUCTION of a potent tonic which is
| entirely free from it is certainly a SUBJ
iect for congratulation. DIR. WALKERS
VINEGAR BTrrERs is a medicine which
may be fairly characterized as an I'M
Objectionable specific for many Distress
ing and dangerous diseases.
Temperance organizations, heretofore
in favor of permitting the sale of alco-
hol tor medical purposes, are of opinion
that VINEGAR BITTERs possesses all the
efficacy as an invigorant that has ever
been even claimed for spirituous stimu-
lants, and on this account, as we'll as
because of the singular success which
has attended its use in dyspepsia, liver
complaint, disorders of the bowels,
nervous diseases, general debility, and
all maladies growing out of intemper-
ance, they warmly recommend it Us a
restorative and Alternative of SURPRISING
excellence. 43
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
Liver and Blood Diseases.

By b. Y. PIERCE, II. D.
A healthy liver ~secretes each day about two
and . half pounds of bile, which contains 9
great amount of waste material taken from the
blood. When the liver becomes torpid or con-
gested, it fails to eliminate this vast amour.
Observation-Disclosures, which, therefore, remains
to poison the blood and be conveyed to every
part OF the system. What must be the condi-
uon Of the blood when it ID receiving and re-
tanning each day two and q half pounds OF
poison2 Nature tries to work of this poison
through other channels and organs-the kid
neys, lungs, skin, etc., but these organs be-
come overtaxed in performing thus labor i'll
addition to their natural functions, and cannot
long withstand the pressure, but become va
riously diseased.
The brain, which is the great electrical CEN
ter of all vitality, is unduly stimulated by the
unhealthy blood which passes to it from the
heart, aud it fails to perform it's office health
fully. Hence the symptoms of bile poisoning,
which are du.lness, headache, incapacity to
keep the mind on any subject, impairment Of
memory, dizzy, sleepy, or nervous feelings,
gloomy forebOdings, and irrltability Of tenn
per. The blood itself being diseased, as it
forms the sweat upon the surface Of the skin,
it is 30 irritating and poisonous that it pro-
duces discolored brown spots, pinples,
blotches and other eruptions, Sores, boils,
carbuncles and scrofulous tumors. The stom-
ach, bowels and other organs Cannot escape
becoming affected, sooner or later, and We
have as the result, costiveness, piles, dropsy,
dyspepsia, diarrhea. Other symptoms are
common, rs bitter or bad taste in mouth, in
ternal heat, pAlpitation, teasing cough, un-
steady appetite, choking sensation in throat,
bloating Of stomach, pain in sides or about
shoulders or back, coldness Of eXtremities,
ETC., etc. Only a few Of the above symptoms
are likely to be present in any case at one
time. The liver being the great depurating or
blood-cleansing organ Of the system-set thus
great "holsekeeper Of our health" at work,
and the foul conceptions which gender in the
blood and rot out, rs it were, the machinery
of life, are gradually expelled from the sys-
TEN. For thus purpose my Golden Medical
Discovery with very small doses daily Of my
Pleasant Purgative Pellets are pre-eminently
the articles needed. They cure every kind
OF humor from the worst scrofula TO tho com-
mon pimple, blotch or eruption. Great eating
ulcers kindly heal under their mighty curative
influence. vrulent blood poisons that lurkin
the system are by them robbed Of their terrors,
aid by their perssvering and somewhat pro-
tracted use the most tainted syetems may be
completely renovated and built up anew. En-
larged glands. tumors and s~wellings dwindie
away and disappear under the influence Of
these great resoivents.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

An AGED SAINT.-From Ahmednug-
ger, India, we hear that on the 10th
inst, n venerable Mahometan departed
this life at the great old age of 143
years. He had lived a very religious
life, was Il priest Of his caste; he was
never married, and is now naturally
considered u saint by the Mahometans.
His funeral was attended by hundreds
of persons of all castles; his bier was
loaded with flowers, and the streets
were well watered with bhistees all The
way where it had to pass. People from
villages within ten miles round attended
him to his last resting place, which is in
a garden without the city, chosen by
himself. Money was given by all
castles for the erection of q tomb for the
saint.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
4 CORELER,.S MASTERPIECE.

At the Postoflice in this city We were
shown IN old shoe which started from
the New York City Postofice. Among
the documents slowed away in the shoe
is one which is written to the following
effect eve, the undersigned, re-
specially recommend that ourlatc COM
rade Goodenough, be appointed post
cobbler, this shoe being a specimen of
his work" Then followed a large num-
Der Of signatures. The specimen of
his work is about the worst specimen
in that line V seen. 1t is patched
with scraps of leather. The new half
sole is fearfully and wonderfully made,
and nailed on with copper, iron, and
all kinds of nails, while upon the heel is
spiked n sort of half-tap. The docu-
nents travelling with the shoe, show
that it has been in many offices in the
West, and it is now quite covered with
tags, postmarks, and all manner of
scraps of postoiice wit. 1t travels
loose in the mail-bags, and goes what
ever direction the fancy of the clerks
happen to send it cruising Virginia
city Enterprise.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
SANCTITY OF IN OATH.

abolish all legal punishment for
perjury" said 1, dogmaticaliy, at the
end OF a desultory argument with some
of the other clerks in the San Francisco
Mint, "and not enc witness in a dozen
wouid speak the truth. As for their
oaths-bah! They dent care that for
them swapping my fingers like the
cluck of a hen.
81 don't know. boys" said John
Fleming, who had taken 10 part in the
discussion, laying down his pen and
squaring about upon his stool. 81
don't that l can say anything on this
question worth listening to, but if you
will stop your COMPOUNDED figuring a
moment I'll relate a little experience of
mine that maybeof service to this young
gentleman who knows so very much
about the nature of an oath and most
other things"
There was a general swapping to-
gether OF ledgers and all manner of
books Government clerks do not re-
quire much of a pretext to stop work.
We all gathered about John, like bees
about Hymettua, and ne began:
/ was a witness. once, in a murder
case a. Pinkerton's Bluff, on the North
Sandy, Just above the falls. Bob
D., a friend of mine-knew him in
the States-was charged with having
killed Dave Thatcher, known in all
region as Bet-you Dave. He had been
a born debater had Dave. He was never
known to agree with the opinions of any
man at The Bluff upon any question
under heaven; and he made use of
but n nrgument-"I bet you five
dollars"
The moment he heard any one make
an assertion, express a belief, or hint q
rumor-frequently before possessing
his mind of the speakers full meaning
he'd bet him FIVE dollars it wasn't SO.
When nobody was talking he would try
In all indirect ways to entrap some one
into indicating an opinion upon some
subject, and then he was down upon
him with that everlasting wager. He
would put up the money, too, and,
what's more, he would commonly win, |
unless there was a dead sure thing
against him but this was so frequently
the case that it kept him poor. If, in
Dawes presence, a man dared affirm
that his dog was yellow, quick as light
ming came an offer to bet him five dol
lars he wasn't and it came with such
positive energy that if the man hadn't
seen his dog since morning it was ten
chances to one he would back squarely
down, or Maggie for time to go and take
another look. l never saw Dave my
self /; it was after his time that 1
came to The Bluff; but the fame of
extraordinary wagers, and the no
less extraordinary way in which he
won them, was in every
mouth.
On the fifteenth day of July, in %,
Dave and my friend Bob - passed
the whole evening together in the
.ar-room OF the Spread Eagle Hotel,
and during the time Bob lost three
bets with him. About nine
they departed together, quar-
reling about the ann in which
Bob had been silenced but not con-
Dave was never afterward seen
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
z. z. r.
Ready Relief,
The Cheapest and Best Medicine for
Family Use in the World!
One SO-Cent Bottle

WILL CURE MORE COMPLAINTS AND PREVENT
THE SYSTEM AGAINST SUDDEN ArTACK OF
AND CONTAGIOUS IsEASRS THAN
ONE HuNDRtD DOLLARS Expended FOL 9TH
Err MEDICINES OR MEDICAL ATTENDANCE.
THE MOMENT READY RELIEF Is
APPLIED ENTERNALLY-OR TAKEN INTER-
NALLl ACCORDING TO DIRECTI0NS-PAIS,
FROM wHATEEER CAUSE, CEASES TO EXIST.
IMPoRTANT-Miners, Farmers. and others re-
siding III sparse y-settled districts, where il 10
aiff:cnl' TO secure the services Of a physician,
RELIEF is invaluable. 1t can
be used with posr,ive assurance Il uoipg good in
all cases where pait or discomfort is experienced;
.r seized with Influenza, Dip iberia, s. re Throat,
ton Of this Bowels, stomach, Lungs, Liver, Kid
neys;or with Cronp. Quinsey. Fever and Ague; or
with Neuralgia, Headsche, Tic Duloreux, Tooth
ache, Earache; or with Lumbago. Pain in the Back,
or Rheumatism; or with Diarrhea, Cholera Nor.
bus, or DySentery; or ~its Burns, S aids. or
Bruises; or with Strains. Cramps. or Spasms. The
application 81 A RELIEF will
cure You Of the worst OF these com plants in . few
hours.
Twenty drops in half a tumbler Of water will I'M
few moments cure CRAMPS, SPASNS. III
ACH, H~PAtTBURS. SICK DIAR.
kHEA, D~iSENTERY, CuLlC. WIND IN THE BOW
ELS, and all PAINS.
Travellers should always carry a bottle of RAD
WAYS READY RELIEF with them. A few drops
in water viii prevent sickness or pains from
change OF water. 1t is better than French Brandy
or Bttters as a stimulant.
Sold by Druggists. Price so Cent?
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

"I made no reply. Then he came ur
to me and laid q hand on my shoulder.
"'See here, stranger said he, SIS
there any subject you feel at home on 2
Have youg got any hobby-any o~pinions?'
"sI am not sure,' I replied Some
people have opinions, and some don't
have any. Some that do have them
don't have them all the time ; and those
that have them all the time often for
get them"
"'Well I swear! said he, disguised,
I'm going to jump over these falls
bet you five dollars I will!
81 said nothing. and he continued !:
1 shall be exactly three seconds and
a half getting to the bottom-won't I
now ?"
"'Possibly. Maybe a little more than
that-maybe a little less-maybe just
that. 1 don't remember wei jumping
over any cascades myself
"He gave me one look, laid off his
hat, backed up to the brink of the preci-
pice, and dropped himself down hang
ing on to the edge with his hands. Then
he let go, falling three hundred feet
into the boiling whirlpool below |"
MAY it please the court" shrieked
the little District-Attorney, lunging
forward upon his hind feet, 81 want to
put one question to this witness now !
You say, sir, you had never seen the
deceased MIR. Thatcher up to the mo-
ment you met him ON that rock-and
never Leard of any of his relations.
Now, sir, on your oath, on your Bible
oath, sir how do you know this man
you saw go over the falls was Dave
Thatcher? How do you know it, sir?"
81 don't know it. l know it was not
he. For Just before he let go the rock
he looked up at me, with his nose about
the edge, and said
"'You think I'm Dave Thatcher,
don't you?"
81 told him he might be, or he might
not.
"'Just SO !" said he, desperately, as
his fingers began to slip. Bet you five
dollars l anti
There was n good deal of loose talk in
court after this, but the spectators
would not listen to it, and Bob D
wastriumphantiy acquitted, being borne
through the town on the shoulders of
the jury, to the music of a brass baud
and the cheers of the whole population.
But Dave Thatcher's widow persisted
in putting up a handsome headstone
over the remains OF the unknown dead,
and was going to have it inscribed with
her late husbands name, and what she
still regarded as the manne of his
Heath, when Bob stopped the proceed
ings By marrying her.
al don't see wha. all this has to do
with the question Of the advisability of
swearing witnesses in court" said /,
when john had finished his yarn.
"Don't, Ell? It's got this to do with
t. There wasn't 4 prison in the State
which i had not broken out of n thou
,and times. If hadn't been put upon
ny Bible oath what was to prevent my
alie?"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

WILHoFT's Tonic A SAFE, SURE
AND SCIENTIFIC CURE!-The unprecedented
sale Of this world-rcuowned medicine proves
incontestably that no remedy has superseded
the use OF this reliable tonic. No spleen has
been found 81 hard as not 10 yield to it's soft
ening influence. and no liver so hypertrophied
as not to give up its long-retained bilious se-
cretions, and no chill or fever has yet refused
to fall into line. WHEELocK. FISLAY x Co..
proprietors. New Orleans. For sale by all
druggists.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
a MARRIED L0VE-LETTER.

Your letter was received, dear John,
I write as you request,
And send tho white-winged tidings from
Our little love-built nest,
We miss you sadly, night and morn.
That odious Mr.. Dent
Has called at least a dozen times
To dun you for the rent.
You say It seems an age, my love,
Since last you went away;
But then its quite a comfort. dear,
To know the trip will pay.
We're saving every penny We can,
And living very plain;
L had my pocket picked, last night,
While walking through the rain.
You count the tagging hours, dear,
That keep You from my side;
For, as you fondly say, the wife
Is dearer than the bride.
That Miss Modiste has sent her bill,
know you'll be amazed,
L never got one-haI the things
The creature mus be crazedi
The children precious little pets!
Ask daily for papa.
They all nave had such shocking colds,
I called in Doctor Law.
He fears that Nettie's lungs are weak
She seems inclined to stoop.
The baby has the nettle-rash,
And Sammy chronic Group.
And, oh. and Mr.. b.
Have had an awful fuss.
of course she couldn't stay at Ems.
And so she's here with us.
The girls have "given warning, love;
don't know what to think,
Unless, as dear mamma suspects,
They're both inclined TO drink.
I'm feeling sad, and far from well:
But then, 1 know, dear John,
A long home-letter, just like this,
viii cheer and help you on.
Id like to nestle TO your breast
And have a hearty cry;
Pray don't forget the g~rocer's bill!
God bless you. lovei Good-by!
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

SOME of the best surgeons of Europe
pronounce the apparatus for deformities made
by the National Surgical Institute. Indianapo-
liz, Ind, tho best known. This celebrated in
s~titution cures thousands OF cases annually
such as diseased joints. all manner of human
deformities, paralysis, piles, ~tistula, catarrh
and chronic Diseases. II YOU need such treat
meut. send for circular giving full particulars
and information Of their mode of treatment,
facilities, etc.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

Nor every one can be President. but all can
buy SILVEE-TIPPED shoes for their children,
and thereby Lessen their shoe bills two-thirds.
For sale by all dealers.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

We are confident that no ca3eof cough.
cold, hoarseness or influenza can withstand
the counter-irritsnt and tonic properties of
DIR. Wishart's Pine Tree Tar Cordial. 1t can
DO had Of all druggists and storekeepers.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

AsroSIsHING.-The quantities of pref
ty Ladder Suits at from S2.50 to $500, that
arc daily made at the mandatory Of J.. W.
GRIswoLD Il Co, 81 Madison street, Chicago.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

How to get rich-Live on cir and
sleep on o c~lOthes-line.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

THE NORTHWESTERN HuRsE-NAIL Co.'S
- Finished " Nail is the best in the world.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

ABOUT 1000, 900 pounds of snuff are
made annually in this country.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
DR.. RAILWAYS
Regulating Pills,

Perfectly ta~steless, elegantly coated with sweet
gum purge, regulate. purify, cleanse and strength
en-. RAILWAYS PILLS, for the cure Of ali disor.
ders OF the tomach,L Liver. Bowels, Kidneys, Blad.
der, Nervous Diseases. Headache, Constipation,
Cestiveness, Indigestion, Dyspepsia. Biliousness,
Bilious Fever, Ian animation Of the Bowels, Piles.
and all Derangements of the Internal viscerA
Warranted to effect a positive cure. Purely yege-
table, containing no mercury, minerals, or delete
rious drugs.
as-observe the following symptoms resulting
from Disorders nf the Digestive Organs:
Constipation, Inward Piles, Fuliness OF the Blood
In the Head, Acidity Of the stomach, Nausea,
fteartburn,D Disgust Of Food Fullness or Weight in
the stomach. Sour Eructations, Sinking or FIutter-
ing At the Pit OF the Stomach, Swimming Of the
Head, Hurried aud Difficult Breathing, Flutterina
at the Heart, Choking or suffocating Sensations
whsn IN a Lying Posture, Dimness Of Vision, Dots
or webs before the sight. Fever and Dull Pain in
the Head, Deficiency of Perspiration, Yellowneys
or ne Skin and Eyes, Pain in the Side, Chest,
the Flesh.
A few doses OF RAILWAYS PILLS will free the
system from all the abovenamed disorders.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29

WNSTANT EMPLOYMEN T.-At home,
male or female, $50 a week warranted. No cap
ital required. Full particulars and q valuable sam
pie sent free. Address, with 6 ct. return stamp,
A. YOUNG, go Fifth St, williamsburgh, N. Y.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
Price rs Cents per Box. Sold by Druggists
Read FALSE AND TRUE

Send one letter-stamp to RADwAY d CO, No. s.
warren Street, New York. Information worth
thousands will be sent you.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-05-29
40 RATS KILLED

With one Boz ARABS DEAD SHOT Price Sets, ask
your storekeepar for H.. JOHN y. HENRY & CO.,
New York. JOHNSON, HOLLOWAY q %. Phila.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-07-22
A FEW GOOD REASONS.

IA Nep Lnuention THOROUGHLY TESTED
and secured by Letters Patent.
2.-Makes a perfect LocE STITCH, alike on
both sides, on all kinds Of goods
3.-Runs LIGHT, SMOOTH, NoIsELEss and
RAPrD-best combination of qualities.
4-DURABLE - Runs for Years without
Repairs.
s. Will do all vdrieties of Work and Fancy
Stitching in a superior manner.
6.-Is Most easily Managed by the operator.
Length Of stii ch may be altered while rum
ming. and machine can be threaded without
passing thread through holes.
l. Design Simple, Ingenious, Elegant,
forming the stitch pithout the use of Cog
Wheel Gears, Rotary Cams or Lever Arms.
Has the automatic Drop Feed, which insure,
uniform length Of stitch at any speed. Has
our new Thread Controller, which allows
easy movement Of needle-bar and prerents
injury TO thread.
S.-CONsTRUcrIoN most careful and FIN
IsHED. 1t is manufactured by the most
skiilful and e1perieneed mechanics, at the cele-
braied Reming/On .d,'mo,Y, Uion,
". 4. PAiIadsLpAia office, $40
cAsskuKf SkrsSk, SLIM
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-07-22
Tape Worm! Tape Worm !

Tape Worm removed in from to hours with
harmless vegetable medicine. The worm passing
from the system alive No fee asked until the entire
worm, with head passes. Medicine harmless. Can
refer those afflicted 10 the residents Of this city
whom ive cured At my office can be seen hun
dreds Of specimens measuring from " to 0o feet in
length. Fifty per cent Of cases of Dyspepsia and
disorganizations Of Liver are caused by stomach
and other worms existing in the alimentsry canal
Worms, disease Of the most dangerous character.
little Understood by the medical men of the
present day. Call and see the original aud only
worm destroyer. Sc ID for q circu which will
give full description and treatment Of all kinds Of
DIR. E. T. kunkel tell by seeing the patient
whether or not, they troubled with worms, and
by writing aud telling the symptoms, &c, the Doctor
viii answer by mail DIR. L. r. kUNkEL No. 23s
n. NINTH ST, PHILADELPHIA, Pa advice at offce
or by mail, free) seai, Pin aud Stomach worms
also removed
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-07-22

ARTICHoKEs AS STOCK FooD.-A cor
respondent of the Kansas Farmer re-
lates the following experience with arti-
chokes:
l planted about one-fourth acre with
about one half bGshel, cut very small,
dropped in burrows two feet and a half
apart and about eleven inches apart in
rows gave them about the same atten-
tion as potatoes. Early in September
L cut them before frost and used the
stalks to roof my stable, thinking they
were good for nothing else (; but found
1t very difficult to keep my horse from
eating himself out doors. He would
leave corn and hay for these stalks. /
think l had about fifty bushels on the
one quarter acre; bnt they were very
small, which made 1t tedious gathering
them. / think they were too thick. L
have planted again this year. Top the
stalks once or twice during the season,
to make them ''stocky," cut before frost;
shock like corn when cured, stack and
cut them in machine, mix with bran,
steam or cook them ii convenient.
think they will furnish large
amount of valuable feed. l think the
roots of tubers Will grow all winter,
when the ground is not frozen. Dig in
the spring, or turn your hogs in to dig
them for you. They are choice feed
for mich cows, and coming as they do
early IN the spring, when succulent food
is scarce, help the yield of butter.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-07-22
Miscellany.

A young boy in Athol, Mass, is e1-
citing no little interest and speculation
among the physicians by displaying an
irresistible propensity to eat himself up.
He has pursued this habit with such
fatal persistency during the four years
of his life as to reduce all the fingers of
both hands to raw and bleeding stumps,
while of the thumb of the left hand
nothing whatever remains.