Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1874-11-13
Fl It W O K

How TO PUT On CoRsET.-At this
juncture the Coroner desired to show to
thejury the course taken by the ball, and
for this purpose produced the corset worL
by Mrs. Burkhart at the time of the trag-
.edy
"You see,'' said he, and here he drew
the corset around his waist with the lace:
in front !-'the ball must have gone in
here from behind. No, that can't be, either
for the doctor says the ball went in in front.
Confound it, I've got it On wrong. All!
this way" Here the Coroner put the
corset on upside DOWN. 'Now, you see,
pointing to the hole in the garment, whic
rested directly over his hips, the ball must
have gone in here. Nc, that can't be eitl.-
er, for"
Here Mr.. Mather, the handsomest ma,
ON the jury, broke in, ''Dr. Stillman,
said he, you've got that corset on wrong.
Here DR.. Stillm IN blushed like poppy.
"Well," said he, "I've been marie
twice. and ought to know to rig cor
Set.'7
eyes" said Nj. Mather, "but you don't
You had it right in the first place. TIL
strings go in front, and the ladies elias.
them together in the back. Don't know
[ think ought to !; I've been married. |
you doubt it, look here pointing to th'
fullness in the top.) How do you suppos
that's going to be filled ny unless you pil
it on as | suggest ~
''That,'' said Dr. Stillraan ''why, tia
goes over the hip"
s'No it DON'T said Mr.. Mather: "tha
fullness goes somewhere else-this way;
and here Mr.. Mather indicated where Ii,
thought the fullness ought to go.
At this pale-faced young man with
voice like a robin, and a note book undo
his arm, said he thought the ladies alway
clasped their corsets on the side. The pale
faced young man said this very innocently
as if he wished to convey the impression
that he knew nothing whatever of tit
matter. The jury laughed the young mali
to scorn, and one of them intimated t iat
he thought the young man WAS not half so
green about women's dress as he tried t.
appear. The young man was reporter
and it is therefore exceedingly probab
that his knowledge was as fully limited
was apparent from his suggestion, tn
iuryman to the contrary Notwithstanding
Here another juryman discovered that
DR.. Stillman had the corset on bottom side
up. doctor said he, put it on the
other way
Then the doctor put it on in reverse OF
.Jar with tho locnc in front This brnuuht
the bullet holes directly over the tails 81
his coat.
II don't Think said Mr.. Mather, "that
the bullet went in there, Doctor
ssNo, don't think it did - was the reply.
''Confound it, it's mighty funny-six mar
ried men in this room and not one that
knows how to put on woman's corset''
Here the ''Chronicle'' reporter, who has
several sisters and always keeps his ey,s
open, advanced and convinced DR.. Still
man and Mr.. Mather, after much argu-
ment, that the laces of a corset go behind.
and that the garment is clasped in front
After this explanation the course OF the
bullet was readily traced; and found to
bear out the explanation afforded by one
or two physicians.-San francisco Civ. H.
icle.
NOT MUCH OF A DOCTOR.-Upon the
assemblage of a certain CT cult Court not
far from Lynchburg, recently, a gentleman
who had been summoned on the grand jury
was unable to put in an appearance at the
proper time, owing to the infiu5n of
certain Stimulating potaji>n III, which he had
taken for his sUomach's SAKE.
Not being present to answer to his |
name, the Judge, with great dignity, in.
structed the clerk to make ii rule against |
the absentee. He subsequently appeared
and asked that the rule be discharged.
s:Why didn't you appear when you were
wanted ?'' asked the Judge.
81 was sick, your HoLor," ans xered the |
applicant, feebly.
ssSick! You don't look like sick man.''
said the Judge. smiling.
teP7raps not, 'respon .e1 the Juror land |
Won don't look much like doctor!''
He was fined.
A. wag, in ''what he know about farm
ing gives a very good llan to remove |
widows weeds. lie says good looking |
man has only to say wilt tLou," and they
wilt.
II am afraid you will come to want"
said an old lady to a young gentleman. II |
have come to want already" Was the re-
ply I want your daughter"
On Wednesday there were but two appli-
cations for marriage licenses in Ind anap-
obs, while there were five CON- laints filed |
for divorce.
A clergyman at Paris, KY, stopped his
prayer to lead an unruly man out by the
ear. and went on: LAS / was saving, O
Lord"
The authorship of beautiful Snow' has
been settled. 1t is J. Frost.