Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1874-12-04
Pen-SpHfferS.

The latest fashion in Chicago-One term
marriages
Ten highwaymcn cannot pull II shirt off
naked mans back.
God is everywherc-cxccpt in Rome; for
there he has II vicar.
No man can truly feel for the poor with
out feeling in his pocket.
What's in name? "Swears & Dams" is
the sign of legal firm in st. Louis.
1t is II strange fact that wise men learn
more from fools than fools do from wise
men.
The Missouri mosquitoes are waylaying
travellers for their overcoats since the cold
spell.
Why was Ruth very rude to Boaz? Be
cause she pulled his ears and trod on his
corn.
Cicero said, "The pursuit of all things
should be calm and tranquil" How about
capturing fleas?
When a dead man is spoken of rs "thc
late Mr.. Smith," the Inference is that he did
not die carly enough.
A vinegar-hearted old bachelor says he al
ways looks under the head of Marriages"
for the news of the weak.
At fifteen the average boy sings gaily, al
want to be an ANGEL At thirty he wants
to live rs long rs he can.
For the present, says the Rochester Demo-
crat, will correspondents please write on
neither side of the sheet?
Frederick, Maryland is exhibiting "a
jackass with the gilt of speech" Must be
that Earle has wandered down there.
"Wcll, Pat, Jim didn't quite kill you with
the brickbat did hep" No; but | wish he
had" "Why so.n $50 that l could have
seen him hung. the villain"
An exchange thinks the pews of some OF
the churches ought to rest on pivots, so that
the occupants could see who comes in with
out straining their necks.
An Indiana clergyman sued n newspaper
for libel and dropped dead within a week.
The Detroit Free Press says these fellows
will learn something by and by.
A San Juan miner who has been prospect
ing in southwestern Colorado has found q
whole forest Of petrfed trees, with petrifed
birds sitting on the limbs singing petrifed
songs.
And now Joseph Arch's daughter has tax.
en- to locturing, Most ladies do this after
marriage. Miss Arch starts before, and SC
is compelled to lecture the public instead o
Il husband. Some fellow is in luck.
"a distinction without difference was
what Il Kentucky farmer thought when sew
en- or eight men called him out of bed thc
other night and compelled him to give
them several sides of bacon, saying the,
must have food but couldn't steal.
THAT dog of yourn flew at me this morn
ing, and bit me on the leg, and now motif,
you that intend to shoot it the first time
see it," "Thc dog is not mad "Mad!
know he is not mad, What's he got to be
mad about? It's me that's mad"
The little Ill, the buzzin iii,
You blessed little thing,
Which haz ilone to parts unknown
10 sta from now till spring.
We do not 81 you kussld fiji
10 have go away.
Ifu find II warm and free from storm,
Blast u, you'd better sta.-NoTth Troy Pal
lddiuH.
Sunday night policeman on Baker street
passing certain house about 10 o'clock, saw
man drop from window and henr
smothered cries inside. He selzod the maj
for burglar, but soon found that he had tn
owner OF the house in his clutches. "Well,
said the officer "it looked suspicious to Sc
You drop out of window that way
"Well'" replied the man, heaving sigh
"when the.old woman gets her dander up
amt particular what road take to get ou
Of the house. .n-Delroa free Press.