The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-04-01
Putting Out n Cat

Mr.. Joseph Springer is peacable
married man who lives on Detroit
street, near the western city limits
He has in his employ maid servant
who has young man that not only
calls regularly but irregularly. The
maid servants beau is possessed Of
an appetite that requires frequent sat
isfying, and during his visit to the
Springer mansion, pi,s, doughnuts,
cheese, cookies, cold meat, preserves
and other nutritious ..and palitable ar.
ticles, disappeared like dew before
the morning sun, or hot griddle cakes
before hired man.
Since the panic las demoraIized
men and things Springer has been
trying to economic in varions direc-
tions, and among other leaks that he
sought to stop was that Of feeding his
hired girls beau, Springer even went
so far as to tell his handmade that
she could only receive visits from her
lover on Wednesday and Saturday
nights, as the expense of fire, lights
and provisions five nights out of sew
en- was too much. The maid of all
work pouted, burned the toast aud
serve dish water coffee for several
mornings, but finally seemed to ac-
cept the situation and resume her
wOnted cheerfulness.
Such was the. state of affairs up to
last Friday night, when it appears
"Sarah's young man." unable to
stand the pangs of hunger or love un-
til Sat urday night, raped at the
kitchen door of Spinger's house. and
ives admitted About eleTen O'Clock
p. m. the hand maid, in obedience to
a hint from her adrAirer, took the
lamp in hand and proceeded down
cellar in search of something for him
to eat Though she used every pre-
caution not to awaken the Springer
family, asleep up stairs, yet, as she
opened the cellar door, q strange cat
bounded.out into the.rOom unbeknown
to her, and moment later emitted
one of those sad and melancholy
hOwls that cats are wont to give
when concealed in a strange room.
Mrs. Springer heard the cat yell
and after digging at Springer's skins
with her toe nails until he was awake,
she said, "Go down stairs, Mr.. Sprin-
ger, and letthat cat out of the house"
Springer hated the job, but was fore
ed to comply, and descending the
stairs in his night shirt and bare feet,
found himself in the dining room,
where all about him was dark as
pitch The maid servants beau
heard Springer desceding the stairs,
and fearing that if be We're found
there it might make trouble in the
family, began to fell his way toward
the back door In doing so, howev-
er, he tripped over the chair his
sweetheart had been occupying, and
fell headiong into a clothes horse
full of garments that were being
dried by the kitchen stove. The
clothes horse struck the cat in its
fall, and with another howl of mis-
cry, that animal began to cavort
around the room, scale the walls and
climb the tables seeking for and
exit.
Great Moses what ails that eat?"
said Springer, as he enter,d the
kitchen, only to fall over the unfor-
tunate lover, who was trying to get
untangled from the clothes horse and
clothing.
Burglars! murder ~ yelled
Springer, as be clutched the supposed
thief beneath him, who. in h is strug-
giles to get away, upset the table full
or breakfast dishes.
The handmade hearing the muss,
came rushing up stairs so fast that
the lamp was extinguished. and ar
rived in the kitchen just in time to
get kicked in the pit of the stomach
by one of the struggling men on the
floor, and dropping the lamp and
plate of doughnuts she had in her
hands, she, too, doubled up with
shrek of pain and fell on the floor in
a hysterical fit.
Mrs. Springer who was only half
awake, heard her husband yell muir
der, and bounding out of bed came
sliding down stairs in sitting post
ure, ard rs she entered tie kitchen,
from whence came sounds of deadly
strife, curses and shriekes, the cat
who had partially caused the troub-
lie, bOlted through a window, and be-
fore Mrs. S. could collect her senses,
the hired girls beau had succeeded
in getting out of Springer's grasp and
followed the cat through the same ap-
erture. The handmade hearing her
lover escape arose, procured a light,
when Springer ceased pounding the
aImful Of clothing he thought was
the burglar, and general council
was held to discuss war matters.
Result: Springer is called fool and
idiot, by Mrs. S. and the girl for
thinking there was a burglar in the
house: the broken lamp, spilled
donghuuts and fractured window
sash are charged up to the eat,
whilst Mrs. s. who had not fully re-
covered from her trip down stairs,
says the next time she wants q cat
put out she will do il herself. y
man don't know how to do anything
ANYHOW nor never did."-ClerslGnd
Foice.
cen. SeOft and a Duelist