Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-11-25
Wit and Wisdom.

A FACT is worth a thousand state
ments.
FRUITFUL in axe-idents-A chopping
sea.
HIGH note-One of thousand dol
lars.
GREEDINEss digs it's own grave with
it's teeth.
The grey eye is peculiar to the eye Of
women.
HOBBY horses are dearer than Arab
steeds.
ASSES sing badly because they pitch
too high.
CURIOSITY about trifes is q mark of a
little mind.
FIERY steeds- Horses that run with
"the machine"
To make atelling speech aman should
tell something.
BETTER to deal with awhole fool than
with half one.
The ass carries corn to the mill and
gets thistles.
WHEN all other sins grow old, avarice
is young.
ALL the girls are becoming vegetari-
ans. They wear turn-up hats.
A MAN cannot expect half loaf when
he loafs all of the time. .....
PARTY hacks-Those hired by candi-
dates to drive from poll to poll.
A MAN who salts down" his cash
General Penny packer.
Ten highwaymen cannot pull shirt
off a naked mans back. .
every little helps,'' as the woman
said when she rowed with needle.
IF every oath stuck like a thorn,
there's many an oath would be unsworn.
WHAT becomes of mans word when
he won't keep it, and no one else will
take it?
WHICH are the four most corpulent
letters in the alphabet o. B. G. T.
Obesity.
A FALL pippin, a coal stove and a
newspaper are not bad things to sit up
with.
A PHILOSOPHER has discovered that
men don't object to be overrated, .ex-
cept by assessors.
The most bitter critics we have are
those who have failed themselves to
write anything worth reading.
The ancients had conscience without
science; the moderns. have science with
out conscience.
WHAT is the use of telling of this
worlds brightness and sunshine to a
man that has tight boots?
HE who has got nothing in this world
to do but amuse himself, has got the
largest job on hand [ know of.
We are told that the smallest hair
throws shadow. And SO it does. It
throws shadow over your appetite
when you find it in your victuals.
In the case of Kansas man being
struck by lightning, the corener's jury
rendered verdict: "He was1 killed by
the Lord, but the Lord is all right"
OFFENCE AND FORGIVENESS
On earth grows poisonous plant called
offence;
Sweet forgiveness kind Heaven an antidote
sends.
Like the shadow is many friend of thine,
Will stay while the sun of thy fortune shall
A BROOKLYN horse-car conductor who
for several months past has been starv-
ing on a salary of So Is per day, ex-
poets to break ground for the erection
of row of brown-stone fronts in South
Brooklyn shortly.
SENSITIvENESs- ssa.
5+ Take not so hard an idle word,
Thy spirit nobly rule;
No sea can it he by a stones throw Stirrad
But only stagnant pool.
HEAVEN, according to the idea of a
Vermont clergyman, is 125, 100000 Of
miles from the earth, and Blobbs stop
ped being good at eight o'clock this
morning. He says it is too far off.
ADVERTISING costs money" So
does store rent, SO does all good and
useful things. The object of adver-
Using is not to cause a man to expend
money. but to make it.
WHEN Nevada miner leaps into a
saloon with revolver in each hand and
a bowie-knife under his arm and asks,
"Who runs this sonl-destroying She
bang?" echo is left to answer, while the
crowd fall out of the back door.
This is the way the Indian magistrates
of Natick used to issue their warrants:
" You, you big constable, quick you
catchum Jeremiah Offcow, strong you
holdum, safe you bringum before me,
Thomas Waban, justice peace"
HE meanest andmost inegitimate of
all human pursuits is the pursuit of q
reputation. 1t is Supremacy selfish and
contemptible; and there is no man who
really deserves good reputation who
does not make his acquisition subordi
nate aim in all his actions. ~
MOTHER, said little shaver, the
other day, II know what would do if
/ was at sea, aid the men were all starv-
ing, and they shouaa~ draw lots to see
who should be killed ana eaten, and it
should be me-I'd Jump into the
water" s'But," said the mother, They
would fish you up" All, but L
wouldn't bite :"