The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-05-15
FIDDLING FOR OFFICE.
How n Left-Handed Candidate wa
Taken i'm and Dome for.

How a Left-Handed Candidate was
Taken i'm and Done for.
Several years ago two candidates for
the Office Ex-Governor of Kentucky
"6fuM~ed atn6 state together quite
harmon ously until they reached one of
the counties in the 'hill country. I"
Here il was necessary to make decided
demonstration, and accordingly the two
candidates fairly spread themselves to
catch all the votes possible, soaring up
to the American eagle, and calling down
the shade of Washington pitching out
profuse promises, and picking into each
others party politics in a manner de-
cidedly refreshing to the hearers. On
the first days canvass victory hung sus-
pended by the tail feathers over the
rival forces, but the second day fell
slap into the lap of the shortest and
suoutest candidate, leaving his long and
lean opponent no kind of show. In
vain the long man pumped up the wa
tiers of eloquence and poured out full
stream, there was no one to drink. But
round the short man elbowed and
crowded mass of thirty voters. drink
ing in his tones with delight. Why this
attraction? Had he a barrel of old
bourbon whisky? Ne; he had fiddle.
Getting the6sart QfSthe long mar, he
had addressed the voters in short
speech, and then, for the first time,
bringing out a fiddle, retired a short
distance from the speakers stand, in or
der to let his opponent reply, playing,
however, such lively airs that he soon
drew the entire assemblage away, and
left the other side of the question unat-
tended to, unheard.
For three days in succession short man
and the fiddle carried the day, in three
successive mass meetings, in as many
towns in the hill country, and long
mans chances for a single vote in those
parts grew remarkably slim. In vain a
long consultation was held by the latter
with his political friends.
meeting and speak first" advised one.
"Raise a fiddle and play them
choones," said another.
"Yell him down." shouted a third.
The long man followed the advice of
his first counsellor, and got the start in
voice, but the noise of the fiddle run
him neck and neck he would have lis
tened to his second monitor and raised
a fiddle, only he knew it would fall
through, as he couldn't scrape a note
and as for his third adviser, he told him
that yelling down short L an was simply
Affairs grew desperate with long man,
when, on the third meeting, he saw, as
usual, the entire crowd of voters sweep
ing off after short man and his fiddle,
leaving only one hearer, and he lame
one, who was just about to hobble off
after the others.
"Can it be possible that freemen-
citizens of this great and glorious coun-
try-neglecting the vital interests of
their land, will run like wild men after
cal, gut strings? Can it be possible, 1
say ?" And the lame man, to whom
long man was thus eloquently dlscours-
ing, answered, as he too cleared out:
"Well, it can, old boss !"
Despair encamped in the long mans
face as he watched short man at dis
tance, playing away for dear life and
the gubernational chair on that blasted
old fiddle but suddenly a ray of hope
beamed over his "rueful visage," then
another, and another ray, till it shone
like the sun at midday.
Scot him now, sure !" fairly shouted
the long man, as he threw up his arms,
jumped from the stand, and started for
the tavern, where he at once called
meeting of his political friends, consist
ing of the landlord and one other, then
and there unfolding plan which was to
drive his rival nowhere in no time"
The fourth meeting was held. Short
man addressed the crowd with warmth,
eloquence and brevity,. vacating the
stand for his adversary, and striking up
a lively air on the violin, in order to
quash his proceedings, but though, as
usual, he carried the audience away,
he noticed that they were as critical as
numerous. One six-footer, in home
spun, walnut dyed clothes, with wild
looking eyes and COON skin cap, eyed
every movement of the fiddle-bow with
intense disgust, finding utterance at
last in
"Why don't you fiddle with that
t'other hand o. yourn
"T'other hand !" shouted a chorus
Of voices. ''Fire up with that t'other
hand !" Faster played the short man,
but louder shouted the crowd, '"Tother
hand, t'other hand !"
" Gentlemen, I assure you"
"No more honey, old boss. We amt
bars " shouted the man with the coon
skin cap.
"T'other hand, t'other hand " yelled !
5he crowd while even from the distant |
stand where the long man was holding |
iorth "to next to nobody" listeners, |
seemed to come a faint echo, 'T'other |
hand, t'other hand "
Short man began to be eIbowed, |
pushed; in vain he tried to |
lraw the bow at one time his bow arm |
vas sent up to the shoulder over the |
bridge; at an other, down went the |
iddle, until he shouted out
Gentlemen, what can I do but as
sure you that"
"T'other hand " roared coon skin, |
his way up 10 the short |
nan. "We've heerd about you You
iddle down thar in the = Bluegrass
country, 'mong rich folks, with your
light hand, and then, when you git up
n the hills 'mong pore folks, left hand
fddItn's good enuf for them you've
missed it Left hand doin's
wont run up hyar tote ont your right,
stranger, or look ont for squalls !"
The short man looked out for squalls,
brew down the fiddle and the chow,
IN OH jumped on his horse and
out straight horse-tail between him
md his enraged fellow-citizens.
"It's a fact, says the long man, "my
being left-handed rather
old against him UP in the hill-country,
nd whoever circulated the story, up
here, that he always fiddled with his
light hand down in the Bluegrass
country, headed off has music for that
Who the Devil He Was.
Highlanders have the habit, when
alking their English, such as it is, of