Delaware Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1843-1874, 1874-06-01

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EXTRACTS FROM A WIFE's DIARY.-Janu
ory.-I have received letter from b. | thinl
he loves me. DO love him? 1 cannot tell.-
Sometimes believe do, then some other ma
attracts my attention, and find think of tn
new lover too much for real, earnest love.
wish l knew my own heart. l must watcl
myself mole closely.
FebruUy.-Another letter to-day; b. says h
loves me and asks me to be his wife am hes
and generous. l ought TO love him devotedly
but | am afraid | do moi; certainly do no
| love as ! imagined | should, one to whom
| would give myself, my life, and serve with de
light. am sure | do not know anybody els,
whom, on the whole, prefer. | think hi say
| yes.
Perhaps 1 shall love him more when live
with him. One thing an sure of, he loves
me, and deSerpes my lDve.
Mdrch.-l think sometimes that am trying
to cheat B. | wonder il I shall love him more
or shall get tired of him?
Apra.-Last Sunday / took the vow of love
and obedience but though was siacere, | was
not thoroughly happy. II other men are at.
tenive. shall wish | was free TO go about as
always have donep I'll Try TO be faithful and
uot let Is. know how little pleasure feel in tho
thought that | am his wife. lie ought TO be
dissatisfied.
June Two months have passed away.
am not sorry | said yes. b. is very attentive,
indulgent, and afiectionate. He is all right
am not. | wonder if L am never In all my mai =
ried life to feel any enthusiasm. 1t is not what
! hoped but perhaps mine is The common ex-
pelence. | should think so, If did not know
a few married. people who seem, after all the
troubles and tii's ofa long life, to be just like
lovers, and that is my ideal of marriage; and
cannot be satisfied with anything less. What
can make the difference? Something wrong in
myself, suppose: have ne fault to find with
b.
Auoust.-Every day shows me that my hus-
band is worthy of my entire devotion, and do
not give it. He accepts the measure bestow
gratefully, but often SAYS, 81 wish you could
love me as love you you would be so much
happier" | am thoroughly dissatisfied with
myself. L ought not to have married from such
mixed motives. 1t was too much OH my part
marriage of my own selfish advantage l ought
to have been sure he had my entire heart.
N0uember-I have been very i'll, almost dead.
Such care and devotion as havel What rock
my heart must have been, not 10 be broken be-
fore Day and night my husband has watched
me himself, sleepless and tireess /; nobody else
could do SO much.
Janudry.-Now know what love MEANS
My husband shall never say again Glove me
more" He shall have all there Is to give, and 1
think my heart is larger than it was year ago.
phat thrill Of joy it gives me when catch
his eye, or hear his voice Or step. My heart
runs to meet him, and my eyes overflow with
tears of happiness How mean and contempt
ible 1t seems to me to desire the attention of
other men, or 10 wish to go anywhere he cannot
accompany me. despise myselffor ever think
ing such pleasures desirable. delight to say,
my husband, my good, noble, generous, forgiv-
ing hnsband-kaep Inc close to you. That is
all the happiness | ask l know now that all
the trouble was the result of not having full,
complete giving up of myself, when promised
to he wife-a conservation of true love.
Do any of my readers find here picture of
their own religious life? "Thy Maker is thy
husband. Christian Banner.