davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1874-06-02
0eM.

Ser bon Danes erItattete Bert6t bes
Sinansausi6une5 6es 9teprGientanten>
bau1es iiber bic NebenaMsgaben i'm SUI
Ittamtniiterium lit aienllid gelinbe aus
gefauem. ueber ben beriiDmten 2anoauer
fGbrt man aus bteIem @omiteberi6te;
baB Wtuiams bnr6aus nt6t Der ein5ige
SInber lit, ionbern 0aB in allen Oepars
tements i6on lGn9ft 9eldnbauert mirb.
BiQidlns that nur. mas feline WorgGnger
au9 getban baben in0. tuaS an0ere 0es
partementSbGupter ebenfaus tbun.
Darum Deibt IS IN benz 8eri6te iebr
milbc: v0aS Gonite 8eIat9te 81 feiner
einbeutgen Mniibt barber. Oh IS i6tds
lid ooer geiebIih Jet, baB Oepartements;
hefS auf Gegierungstoiten 1ngemefiene
&mtl6en unb Yferoe Dalten, UNI in ibren
Nmtsgel1Gften % uno bort bin gu fab
ren. Aber einig lit bas Gomite barber.
baB cine ioIde JabrgelegenDeit nt9t 81
approximations 3Neden beniiBt uno
Der bafiir 3u perau5gabenoe Betrag be-
ion6ers i'm Budget beiuiuigt iuer6en
ioute."
Sener Seinb bes Oberbunbesanmaltes
@ilialns, mel1er bieien 9erblt nit benz
BON iDm a~ngefauften Hanoaner, Der
friibcr bon Billian1s uub Talntlie benubt
tuurbe, auf ipeitli6em Understanding
gen berunlfutibirem iuia, I'M Dem 8oLfe
eiilen Se9riff BON bet Corruption i'm SUI
fttsbeparteme1t al Deri6afer, mnB alto,
iperm er lnparteiii6 uilo gere6t fem tpiu,
nit einem balben Oubeno 2dlbauer a1lz
gefabren fommen.
Der Gomiteberi6t be5eugt, baB sic
9tednunasablase bes Suittaoepartements
I'M M%a9emeinen cine befliebi9enbe lei unb
baB aud bet grDBte She'll ber $75, 874,
ipel6e in ben leBtem bier Sabrcn i'm SUI
1tt5oepartement ais contingent fund" Der>
Glsgabt tunrben, ri6tig lnb geiebli4
rertpeil0ct iDirDe. Sin T1eil BET Summe
ieooA babe cine ~ingebDri9e 8ertpenbung
9%efnnoen. 0o1 AUDI babel bebt Der 8ez
rtdt ipteoer bcrOor, baB Der 8prmnrf
0nrdams nidt ben Sberbunbesantpalt
Guetn treffe, lnnoern baB Oer1eIbe NliB>
brau6 III alIen Oepartements Derrl6e
mn6 guar idou felt Dielen Sabren. 9tas
mentlt6 lei 1T iGmmtlid,em Oeparte>
ments mebr @eIo aur Nusitattung bon
3tn1mern Deriuen6et ipor0en, ais bet
ttnanSteue .3ultanO bes Gan0eS erlaube.
uno %beionbers fONte AUDI Der III auen
Separtenlent5 Detrl0etoe Or1uO, De>
tra6tIide Snmmen fir Weiier, @olbfez
oerl &c. 5u nerousgaben, ipelbe al l1nz
terbeantte un6 anoere YeriDnen ais
MeibnaGts> umO NeuidDrs : @el6ente
Derabrei6t iperoen, 9dnSli9 ipegfallen.
Gbenlo 1olte IS nit bent Brau6e, aus
oem contingent fund" betrd1tIi0e Sums
men gum 9lutaufe BON 9ortraits &c. aus
Sugeben, gebGlten iperben. so g~ertnafis
gig AUDI Die meiiten bieier Nusgaben
ieien, 10 feien fie bod immerbim cine
8eri6iuenOumg, slttnal III elmer 3jeit, in
pelbcr bas Solt 10 i6tuere Steueru Be-
sablen muB.
9lrs benz 8eridte ersiebt fi6, bas
bent Wiqiams in iofern nnredjt aeIdab,
als obise WiBbrau6e ibm ipesiea nno
allet1 Sllr Salt gele9t ipnrber, ipGhrenb
6er Nortpurt Gnbere 10 gut trifit ipie
i'm uno Der Gon9reB friber ni6ts gegen
1ol6e WtiBbrdu6e einautpencen bate.
Der 2Grm ri6tete fih besbalb ipesien
segen Wiaiams, nm bic BeltGttgmng
1ellIer @rnennnng gum SberbWnbesri9ter
3n peretteln, Neiter bate IS bQmaIs
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1874-06-02
8ar9erIi1e @e1tselei@bett.

Gor aebn Sabren tpiirbe Die Beratbuns
zines @eieBenttpurfs, pie b~erienise, ben
Der Bmn6esienat am Gage Dor Bfinsiten
nit 29 gegen 16 Stin1rnen angenommen
hat. I'M Sausen 9an6e bic itirmii4fte
M~ufreeung bepirtt unO sabIloie groteite,
ober 3ultimmnngs : Nbreiien aus allen
TheiLen Des Qanbes be~rborgernfen baben.
cSekt piro fie faum Der Grtpdbnung fttr
ipertb oebaIten unb inter bInoert 3ets
fuuosIefern tp~enigftens in ben Noroz
ftaaten - finbet ftp i4perli3 mebr, als
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1874-06-02
Scr @ieSeramfbaw Der NeifTiTppt'
SGutme.

Der bonferotte Staat QouiIiana lit
ni6t i'm 6tamoe, ietne BET Der letten
ueberi6memmmng serlt0rteu Utiiiiiiippi=
OGmme neutrality-suspicious.. Stpar erbebt
er cine Sammiteuer, Gber tie gepGbrt Die
n6tbtgen Wtittel BET Meitem ni6t. Ote
vOeutl6e 3ts." IN gteip:S Orleans iteut
tolgenoe 8ere6nMng all:
,gta6 Ser niebrtsiten e9asuns Der mie6erauf>
3ubauenben Sdmme erbeil0en btelelbeH 5 WHuio@
i1eu RubifiuB an Grbarbeiten, Die biersu eriors
berli6e Slume GelbeS betrGst q so Gents per
&mbitiub So, 10000. gta6 Der D69lteu SddtHHg
Der 0elomtttel, rDel1e aus benz grtrage berStaatss
DammsSteuer Der Damm>GOmpa9nie in ,Aelem
Sabre s~rflieBen meroen, %belalten ll3 ~o1elelbta unf
ettpa $3.50, 600, womit ollo nnr 100000 THbltTuB
S1nlme ecbdut 1Derben fonnte1I. OGna9 puroeH
mebr ais pier SinfteL Der abioIut notbpenbt9en
Danmbauten unGusgefitbrt, uHe Iber 4 Vt1utos
men J~tubiffuB an Sdmmen, bic innerbalb eIeleS
Sabres ~polenpet Iein miillen, rpenn Bite Hataltropbe
bteles Sabres lid i'm nddlten SrlIbl9bre nt9t w'es
berbolen loa, ni9t sebaut luer0en tOnHeH."
OeIfen fam notirIt6 nur Der 8wnb.
Ole vOeuti9e 3t9." ma6t betrehs oieier
8unoesbtlfe fDlgenoen Sori6lag:
nsouiliaua aMein brau6t minbeitens 3 @iuios
nen Dollars, I'm bic in bielem Sabre SerltOrteH
O6mme am intern NttlIiilippt unb leInelI 3Is
fliilen bauerbaft MISREPRESENTATION nno in Stans
W. ~ ' 49, NAINtk $Sk0Nk AbkO$ SSUNt vi
BET @on9reB II MS, ben Stieftinbern Der Union,
nit bcr appropriation elmer iol9en Snplme eH
@el6ent MAIDEN 1peroe. ST fam aber oas S9asz
amt autorilirsn, benz Staate oteie Slmme gu
bor9en, uno mir rpiiroen uus in 6teleuI SALE am
beii6ig MAIDEN, bas Anleben binnen SebH SobreH
aui Seller Mnb Yfennt9 SurtIfsu;ablen. sur
biele NiGsablung 1pir6eH mir be &ammlteIer
pom 3 OttGe uerpiGnoen, unb bic Gt1tIH1te aus
bieler stemer ietbit CUR iabrli3en Abl3la9ssabs
luna OH bic Resierun9 psrpsnbeu.
Ser 8ori9laS ioats benz SoH9rene onr3 CONS
petente WtGnner unterbreItet TeroeH, ebe NRttte
i1a6iten WOnats 6e gertasuns beiber Sduier eins
tritt. 2eot man abcr aud lerner bic S6nSe IN
BEN SdooB 1uie bis jest, 10 lit IS mabrli6 ni3t
mebr Der Wfiibe 1pertb Selber 5M lammelu I'm DIE
aru,en ueberl9wemmteH gu futtern uHs WettteI
an i6affen, nm IS ibnen Su ermOsli9eH, ua9 &bs
Iolf Der @epdiler pieoer OIL ibren A6erbau sm
aebeu. gSerosn i'm 3aufe 6ieles Sabres ni9t
iii Mstaionen GubitiuB S6mms in Y~ouiiiaia
ALIEN 9sbaut, 10 bebarf es oereH pdter gar
nidt mebr, benn meni6enIeer 9eruoroene SIMpt
unb @Iiteneien brauHen teinen S9us utebr!"
Gtpas mu s BON Seiten 6es 8unbes
fir bic MiiiiIiippt79 dmme gei6ebe1.
Oas 1T cine gebieterii6e 9fIi6t Der
Wieni6[t6fett. Qtu6 BON bielem @es
it6tspuntte aus BARI nan ii9 6a3u qras
t~uliren, tpenn Die 8unoesfale nt6t i'm
Sntereiie Der RbtlabeIpbter MeltG1slteis
lung sei9r0pft ptro.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1874-06-02

bat; bod and bisfen aIntbeiI BARI
man ntdt iiberidaben. DEM tuenrI Mot
ole oertlden Waffen oaS SaiiertDum 5erz
trllnlmert battcn, penm Die fran5oi1ben
!9eere 1te9ret6 aepeleu tpGren (ulo bob
tie es nt6t tparen, maj pabrIi6 Hi6t
No6eto1t's 8eroieni), 10 pIr6e IN
Srantrei6 tetn 6abn na9 &o6etort MHo
leiner v2aterne" getrdbet baben. Sn tpie
Deit feline Sober ben eBigen0etpaItbaberH
in Sranfret6 gefGbrIi6, ODER t~penlgltens
IGitig petben miro, bIeIbt abSutparteH.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1874-06-02

= rb & aDIor arbettet, ietts
benz er feline ausge5ei6nete lleberieBnng
6es @6tbe'i6en Sauit pouenoet bat, an
elmer DoppeI : Geographic 9oetbe's uno
S6iQer's, tpeI6e bic beioen groBen Did,
ter in ibren Be3iebungen SIT chamber tpte
3ur iibrieen 0elt DorfIbrt lIHo cine Ters
oLei6ung stpifdeH ibren ot@terti6en Set
ituneen anfteHt.s
@uf WiIDaufee pIaste am
0onnerftag gta6mitta9 Elm Us oItens
bru9 berab, Der in Deri6icoenen Stabts
tbsiIen cine formIi6e lleberibtpemmung
berbeifitbrte. Sn benz unteren Gbetle
zines Gebauoes itieg bas .@a1ier 10
i9nen, oaB ooleEbit cine Srom GraBIer
nuO ibre bret &inber um Elm SaeI egs
trWnfeH tp&ren.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-02-28

William Bennett, of Jamaica. Long
Island. was fatally shot there by
Charles Sprague. OF Rockawav, during
a quarrel about a woman.
At DAYTON. Ohio. OH the oath,
Christopher Monrse. a Frenchman,
living in the southern part of the city,
shot and instantly killed his wife in a
sudden fit of rage.
1t is now probable that all the fish
erinen on the floating ice in Saginaw
Bay will reach shore in safety. Two
hundred reached the shore on the 23d.
Others who were on another field
have been driven to the western shore
by change in the wind. 50 they can
probably land easily. Tie report that
Smith and Poorier were drowned is
untrue.
From Mexico: A terrible affair has
occurred in tile State of Vera Cruz.
4 quarrel between the townsmen of
QuimiXillau and IIuaSacualco, re-
suited in a fight in which seventeen
We're killed. The infnriated men OF
iInaSacllalco atterwarl went to Quinn
iXillan and began an inliscrimnate
lna~sacrc. killing children and cutting
of the breasts Of women. The neigh
boring town of ChalchicomuM sent u
detachment of militia to stop the
atrocities.
The police spy reports the number
If New York Communists at 300. aud
says the German and Irish orgalliza-
tions are uniting with the Frenchmen.
In recent meeting the Chairman
said: 1T is not only work we want;
it is also liberty and abolition of high
salaries and monopolization. We
want the heads OF the thieves who are
now stealing the funds of the city.
We want their heads, and we shall
have them. We want to make them
suffer what We are now suffering.
There is no justice III New York.
We viii take justice into our own
hands, and administer it with rifles
and bxyonets. We will find petro-
leum. and use it as We did in Paris.
Our German, Irish and American
brothers will help US. and we will
help them"
The freight brakemen of the New
York and Erie Railroad are on Il
strike for back pay. No freight trains
moved to day in consequence, and all
passenger trains have been stopped at
llornellsvile. Nothing was allowed
to proceed except an engine with a
mail car. A large number are con
gresated at IIornelISville. The men
remain firm, and the company shows
no signs Of acceding to their de-
mands.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-02-28

From Paris, Feb. 90: The citizens
of Strasburg demand of Bishop Reas
the resignation of his seat in the
Reichstag because he has Acknowledged
the, validity ofthe Treaty of Frankfort.
The Dutch troops in Acheen have
captured an importhat fort. killing
200 of its defenders. The loss to the
expedition was only s killed and So
wounded.
A report has reached London that q
great battle has heeu fought at Com
maSsie between the A Shantees and the
force under General Sir Garrett Vols
ley. The engagement is said to have
lasted whnle LAY and to have closed
with no decided result. The loss of
the British troops i given as nearly
300. including many officers. The
llighlanders alone are reported to have
had $50 men killed, Gen. Sir Garnett
Wol,Iev Is sud to he ii reed Of rein
forcemcltS. which are $50 miles off.
Dates to the oath from Madrid,
Spain. report the capture Of Portugal
ite by tie National forces is confirmed.
storioncz with -, 000 men. now con-
troats the main body of the CarliSts.
and news ofa general engagement is
hourly expected.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-02-28
FOREIGN.

From London, February 22d, it is
represented that Gladstone has de-
termined to no longer take an active
part in Parliamentary proceedings,
and there is much speculation as to
who will succeed him as head of the
Opposition. The OtSerrer hopes that
! Gladstone's determination is not final.
1t is stated that on the assembling
of the new Parliament, it will be im-
mediately prorogued until the 18th OF
March, to admit of the reelection OF
those who lave accepted office, and
the Queens speech will not be deliv-
cred until then.
Madrid. Spain, dates to the 22d say
that severe fighting has been going OH
in Biscay tor several days. Gen.
Dorregaay, with 25,000 Insurgents,
holds tine heights above SomorroStro.
The Republicans have taken the first
height. Their losses are heavy. The
wounded are comiug into Santander.
A fleet has left that port to attack
Portugaletc, which will be simut.-
neouSly assaulted by land. Lo'er-
The fleet entered the river on Friday,
and found that Portugalete had been
abandoned by the CarliSts.
The Carlists have taken the town of
Vinaroz. in Valencia. The garrison
numbering 200 were taken prisoners
by the CarliSts.
Dates from London to the 23d, give
the following: Sir Michael, Beach has
been appointed Chief Secretary for
Ireland; Sir Henry Ibbetson Under
Secretary for the Home Department.
Sir Chas. Adderley becomes President
of the Board of Trade. Sir John
PakingtOn has been elevated to the
Peeage, under the title Of Baron
Hamilton. lie was defeated in the
elections.
Mr.. Dillon, member of the Liv-
ingstone Search Expedition, has
committed suicide. DR.. Livingstone's
remains were expected to reach Zan-
zibar OIL the 10th inst. The Cameron
Expedition will proceed to Uiiji OBJ
tain documents and property left by
the Doctor.
From Strasburg .unuer same date:
M. GueDel and six other delegates to
the Reichstag from AlsaCe and Lor-
raine have published manifesto, re-
pudiating Bishop Reas for his ac-
knowledgment Of tho Frankfort
Treaty.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20
Scene in a Newspaper Office.

you will observe by this notice." said
the melancholy man, "that Joseph
Thompson is dead"
"Ah," said the reporter, ''thats too
bad. Poor ThOmp! BY the way. who is
Joseph ThOmpson?''
"Why, sir" said the melancholy man,
removing his handkerchief from his eyes
long enough to exhibit stare of surprise,
" Mr.. Thompson kept the well known es-
tablishment on Blank street. He was a
good man, kind father"
Poor ThOmp!" repeated the reporter
thOughtfully. "Im so sorry. But what
did he do in his establishments
Really" said the melancholy man,
"yOu surprise me! 1t was a junk-shOp
in the higher branches of that art. 1t
did a nice business, as you must be
aware"
mo, don't think am aware" quiet
ly said the reporter.
"Well, well, never mind" said the mel
anchOly man, pausing a moment for the
purpose of sObbing, it's of no cOnse-
quence. He was thoroughly cOnscien-
tious man, and the idol of his family. No
body ever came begging to his door and
went away empty-handed. Nobody ever
sought his advice without getting it. He
was man of stern intleXibility, or rather
of perfectly pure motives, and all his ac-
tiOns were devoid of guile"
Joseph Thompson" said the reporter,
musingly. Somehow l can't place this
man.
Z" Yes, yes, ;" said the melancholy man,
Joseph Thompson. None knew him
but to love him. His business will be
continued by his widow at the old stand"
"See here" said the reporter suddenly,
"did Joseph Thompson advertiser"
"N-nO, " said the melancholy man, "but
then"
"Get outI' said the reporter, with ex-
treme animation. Go to! Go to the
deuce! Go to the counting-rOOml That's
where you want to go, without climbing
an extra pair of stairs in order to bore me
with your Internal corpse. | never knew
Joseph Thompson. don't want to know
anything about him. In point of fact,
Joseph Thompson was a fraud, and if he
were not dead should hope he might be
hanged"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20
A Real Romance.

a few years before the late war GER
tain DIR. Dow came to Calais and boarded
for some time at the Calais House, then
kept by George Wilder. After while he
removed to Princeton, where he practiced
medicine, and in the course OF time mar
ried Miss SpOOner, very respectable
Young lady of that town. The marriage
occurred irst before the war began, and
soon after Mr.. Dow enlisted. While in
the army a daughter was born to him, and
for a time he regularly sent letters and
money to his wife. But after awhile he
ceased to do so, and nothing was heard of
him until some time after the close of the
war, when his wife learned that he had
married the only daughter of a wealthy
man in another State and was living with
her. She went to see him, but falling to
find him she saw his other wife, who said the
doctor told her his first wife and their
child were dead. She then returned home
and procured divorce. Some time after
this she went West to work, and falling
sick, and finding herself unable to support
her child, she wrote 10 her ex-husband y
asking him to contribute towards the sup
port of his daughter. He replied in pen
itent letter, expressing desire to see her
and talk over matters. By agreement hey
met in Boston, and he provided amply for
his daughters support. a correspond
ennce ensued between the divorced parties.
which finally resulted in his offering to
leave his second wife and remarry the first
one. She agreed, and about two weeks
ago the wedding ceremony was done over
again, and the twice-marrird couple nave
gone off to seek their fortune. What has
become of the other wife we have been un-
able to learn. This is strange story, but
it is vOuched for by friends and acquain-
tances of the parties, both in this CITY and
in Princeton, and if we had the slightest
doubt of its tIuthfulness we should moi
venture uponits publication.-Calais Ne,
Advertiser.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20
A Marriage of Fifteen Years Ago Just
Brought to Light.

About the 18th of June notice appeared
in the New York Tribune, stating the
death of Mr.. Armitage of England. 1t
went Oh to say that Mr. Armitage, on his
death-bed. stated that in 1859 he was in
this country and in the village of Dundee.
That he secretly married a young lady
named Candace Bliven, second or third
daughter of John Bliven of that place. AT
ter the marriage he left Dundee and left
his wife there, and has never been back to
claim her. 1t appears that when he left he
went TO Italy; how long he was there, or
what happened to him, is not definitely
known. The story is that his mother died
soon after his leaving Dundee, and that he
was so overcome by the loss that he lost
his reason, which prevented his returning
as he had expected. The paragraph in the
Tribune was the first intimation of the af-
fair that any one in Dundee had ever had
of it, not excepting even the parents of the
girl, and was at first looked upon as a mis-
take or singular mys'ery. But she that was
known as Candace Bliven is still living,
and at once corroborated the story of the
marriage, and told the name of the minis
ter who performed the ceremony. And
several in the village, on reflection, re-
membered that there was such a person
llltlC ttS al lllC I'LL VI ICOOs DuI
why the marriage was thus performed, or
why it has never been told of, is still a
mystery. 1t is believed, however, that
Armitage was younger son of some of
the nobility of England, or at any rate con-
nected in some way with a very wealthy
family, and that the marriage had TO be
kept still in order not to jeopardize inter
est in the property. 1t is furthermore said
that he had lately come into possession of
his estate, was able to acknowledge his
marriage, and was coming after his wife
when Overtaken by the hand of death. She
has been known as a respectable lady
though acting rather singular sometimes.
he strange manner in which the marriage
was made public-stating the name of the
bride and that of her father and several cir
cumstances all correctly-prOves the truth
apparently of that side of the story. while
her acknowledgment of il of course leaves
no doubt that such an affair did actually
take place. Whether the lady will come
into possession of any property, or be 9TH
erwise affected, remains to he eseen.-Schuy-
Ter County IN. ~ Democrat.
AFFECTING SIGHT-BaIrels in tiers,
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20

fever or some one of its kindred diseases,
so cordially invited, steps in and takes full
possession. We by no means repudiate
the malarial origin of these diseases, but
we do say that such course of conduct
strongly prediSpoSes the system to the in
tluence of that dread unknown destroyer.
Such checks of perspiratiOn are also fire.
quent causes of intestinal diseases-mOre
frequent than any other, as is nOtOriOusly
seen in the greater prevalence of dysen-
terry and kindred disorders when the con-
trast between the temperature of night
and day is most marked.
If, then, such numerous sources of dis
ease surround country life, how, it may
be asked, do the great majority of resi-
dents retain their health or newcomers
improve therein? Simply because the
human system is framed to resist Just such
influences. When, however, these in
iluences are excessive or the vital powers
are lessened by depressing causes, they
will prevail and effect their appropriate
results. 1t should be remembered, too,
that upon the casual sOiOurner in the
country the strain Is tar greater than upon
those who, by long use, have become
habituated to these sources of disorder
W. S. Seorie, NJ. D., IN ChriStida Union.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PREFERRED CREDrToRs-Those who
don't dun.
CAUTION TO YOUNG MEv.-Because you
find young lady playing the piano in the
parlor, is no sign that her mother Is not
at the corner grocery runlingin debt for
peck of potatoes.
DAGoRERT WHITING has eloped from
Milwaukee with Mrs. DrahOta. The next
Milwaukee directory will therefore lack
some of the spice and variety which are so
conspicuous III the present bOok.-C0tUicr-
Journal.
CONDUCTOR, why didn't you wake me
up. as asked you? Here | am miles be-
vond nv station" COnductOr-''I did
nv. sir; butall could get you to say was
sAll right. Maria. Get the children their
breakfast and I'll be down in minute
" MIssus SNowDRoP," said gentleman
of color the other afternoon during a
shower to lady of his acquaintance, ''as
de wedder is somewhat amphiblOus, VIII
you do me de honor TO step under my
umbrella an form a quorum ? ank
you, Mister Rillups, | will. In this we'd
der an umbreller is RAIDER coSmOpOli-
tan."
"WHAT is bull-head luck o. asks an ex-
change. In the oil region aman who eked
out an existence on scrubby, stony hills,
ate hOecake and slapiacks, run on the river,
went barefOoted nine months in the year,
took his girl riding behind oxen, and
then sold out to some wise ~ speculators
for s., ,000. 900 cash, comes near enough TO
satisfy the ordinary mind. - 1Ttllsritte
Herald.
DETROIT JUDGE to Daniel Smith
''WhiSky is what ails you, sir, and if some
good kicker would get hold of you and
boot YOU from Hamtramck to Springwells
it would do you more good than run OF
the fever When | see young man like
you loafing around. clothes in rags, eyes
red, nose red, boots out, pockets empty,
and feathers in his hair, | wonder why the
lightning ever strikes anyone else. Take
him back, Bijah, and when the Maria sJhJS
make him waltz up lively."-Free Press
A YOUNG man of this city, says the Louis
Vile ColtTie7,-Jo1u7,aL. took a horseback ride
of fifteen miles into the country to visit
lady one very hot dav last week, but just
as he got i'm sight of the house his paper
collar went back on him, and he turned
hOmeward, his eyes all flooded with the
helpless wrath of tears, 'while DER his
brow there swept tablet of mutterable
thought"
Graves. once bathed with true loves tears,
Wore lett 10 heav' ms bright ram;
Fresh hopes were born tor othtr years
He never smiled again.
AN enterprising patent medicine vender
took a line or two from the obituary col
umns of the Philadelphia Ledger, and says:
Affections sore lang time he bore,
Physicians were IN vain,
Fill he procured K ibinsOn' 5 Patent D0uble-actng
Torture EXleTmiuatOr,
Which eased him of his pain.
He had this printed on the circulars around
his bottles, none being genuine without it.
The widow of an afflicted one who used
the exterminatOr had the verse engraved
on his tombstone.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20

A YOUNG man walked into a Norwich
book store, the other day. and inquired tor
Homer's Ody ssey. The clerk. after look
ing through the shelves and falling TO find
the object of his search. said in reflective
manner, well, we haven'tany OF Homers
latest works in at present"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-08-20

Paul BOYNTON has heen hired bya New
York inventor to advertise life-saving
dress. BOynton will be carried from New
York by an outward bOund steamer two
hundred miles from land, when he viii be
left unTil picked up by passing vessel.
He will carry in a rubber bag rations for
one week and signal lights and tags with
a sectional staff Gwelye feet long for raising
them.