, 1874-06-07
HuM0R.

/ y d
| II Henswain."
MIR. Qu1p wants to know why mosquito u
like cbarity3 Because it begins to hum.
| Births are being announced as Our Young
Folks for june" in the Turner Falls Glass.]
Reporter. -.
| -"Hs fell dead and expired In two minu.sa,''
says Georgia paper Of the death OF negro,
II man is murdered by his hrsd man.
hould the Coroner render verdict Of "hued
by bis Own hand ?"
Not overy one can tell when hot Teather ID
coming: Some GIT.
| =" Don't count your chickens before they kza ,
] hatched." Enumerats not your adolescert pul.
/ lets ere they cease to be ovlform. "
Why do women talk less in February than ID
! any other month ? Because it ls the shortest
They do not cali it Jim jams any more: They
say the poor fellow ID between his shsezy md
champagne.
"A revolving fragment Of tho psleose sgs
collects no eryptogamous vegetadon' Is nav.
An exchange speaks OF "oaphons msa
who grovled because = porder-fscto1y was to bs
established next door,"
Cruel Disappontmsn-6tr -6trsetboy: "Fiv<
'undred lives lost!" "'Ere's . a'p'ny! Uloai
What SELL! 'Ang it all it's IN calitornia!"-
Punch.
"A mother advised her daughter to oil he1
hair, and tainted fiat away whom that darnsal re+
Piled, :" Oh no, ma; it spolls the senslamsns
-Dcvn in Kentucky the traveller hears fond
husbands say Como, darling. comein and get
dinner, or I'll mash your old rcd head xlth
club!'
An Iowa engineer married = youag LADY
whllo rafting for 3 late train last week. That's
no great shakes. 4 couple might marry and
raise large family of children while Ha!strR
for train in soma Of the Indians depots.
Tho Detroit Free Press says: "The Albany
Journal mover has lees than eight columns on
hanging affair, aud sometimes reaches tHelTe,
and marked copy is always sent 70 the widow.
-" Why do You nse paint ? " asked d riolfnist
rosin, pepa." 'Hou Is that?" "Wb1, TO
help me draw my boau."
Customer to barber: Ut eay, don't Qhio)
put any bay rum on my face, cause it'll make
{hio) my wife think I've been (bio) drinhn."
We cannot find Eoom for the song sent ust
beginning, !" Fill up with Hino your flowing
bowels" The spelling is not tcouect.-Exeta1se:
drunken husband and misses him, tha neFsps-
pe1s Say, "Another bul1os wasted" ::.
Collins Graves meE not bs . hero, but he u
the first uailkmnn on record who ever Heut about
telling people frankly that water was coming.
Louisville Courier-Jou'1,aI.
"A Duluth paper says one Of tho strea1ns run.
ming into Lake Superior from the north u caAea
Temperance River, because it is the only one o.
allth tributaries Of the lake that haa no bar y
it's mouth.
An OAKLAND young 1.dy entared . drug sto:,s
lately and wanted to sea tho papers for "ae4
back, and the Intelligent oloEk showed her zoa
OF sticking plaster.
f, Proof Positire-Fir.t Young Lady" Bns
what on earth makes you think am in lovo with
yoa y sro n Away. talking talking about Mr. Blown"
-"Oh! Mary, my heart is b1sakpg," said "a
Aberdeen lover to his Highland Mary. "ls II.
indsed3 SO much the better for you," was a.. hes
quiet reply. "Why, my idol7" - Because, III.
McSmith, when it is broken out and cut Jou CAN
sell the pieces for gun -dints."
-"Talk about tho sarere mental labor o.
men." sayA Bertha, ''it takes moro hard study
to diacoyer tho front OF q new spring has snAa
would win i Case in the Supreme Court aZalnss
The Washington Capital tells how Genera
was 1evsuged:
Perhdious Bull, With Jealous frown.
vengeful, be sent fair-hairrd swell,
And bade him ring ui5rsus' Nell
-"How's business DOW ?" inquired one Ns.n'
vile merchant OF another, yesterday. "Uaus
fearfully dull, " WIS the reply. '.Tho fact Il,
nobody buys anything just now but proE'5'o1s
and whisky-the bare necassaries OF life. as Il
were"
a small town in Kentucky has developed
queer specimen OF the genus homo in the forn
Of = facetious dentist, who adYertises that ne
will pull teeth - without pain to the OPERATOR,
and with very littla to the bystander" ..
An eminent EnRHsh surgeon Eka once sens
for by gentleman Who had received sllsnt-
wound. On his arrival he sent his servant oaca
10 great hasto to get certain kind OF plaster.
The patient, turning pale, said, Sig, I hope
there is no danger" ''Indeed there il. ;" IN.
swezed tho surgeon, "for if the fellow doesn;;
run like 3 race-horss, the wound will bo hea1eo
bsforo he can possibly get back"
1t is a beautiful sight to attend an A1lzone
wedding. The bride in Hhite-the happy groom
the solemn minister-the smiling parents. ano
from twenty-five to forty shot-guns standinR
sgainst the wall ready for use. mako up psoo"
rama not soon forgotten.
-Piuing, eickIy women should go to Colorsdo
il they want health and strength. Mrs. Prathef
uas not able to sweep her own room when ses
lireu in Ohio, but the other dnv. afte1 living 10
Colorado one ehort year, she chased her husband
half mile with pitchfork-
a family passing through Detroit lost thon
tou-cat, s:Come, children" said the f.ther.
hussily, as he turned TO the wagon, ''Johnn5
died OF scarlet ferer, little Mary vent with fha
whnot ;ng-cough. and now we've lost sarflE'c5
I shouldn't wonder II mother OK I'd be tha rex'
to go" H..
1T is not generally known thas when To-
Claimant was removed from fewGate to Nlli-
bauk he WAS greatly fati8ued By the journey.
md on his arrival asked whether be cou1a -
accommodated with Baltzer and brandy. 1hs
Warden, to whom the request was made, r.
:orted. We don't keep no brandy herst bat
here's your cell airt'