The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-06-17
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then leef-tio ono"0"
over head and-ears.
-"Breakfast for ninety-ninc," said
n waiter to a verdant clerk; '#c can
not do it." The waiter explained
that ninty-nine was the Number Oh
the room. r.1
"Gifts.' said distinguished
lady in, Washington the other day.
"why, Grant would take anything
YOU would give him, lift was the
smallpox" "a, -
An engineer on the Western and
North Carolina Railroad shouted to
a crowd of rustics, who had gathered
to see the first train Of cars come IN.
ssPut down your umbrellas! YOU scare
the engine off the track" The UNI
bre]las were lowered at once.
We once heard of q traveller at Il
hotel, who rose from his bed at night
to examine the weather; but instead
of looking out on the sky, he thrust
his head through the glass window
of q cupboard. "Bless me!' he Ut
tered" this is very singular weather
The night is as dark as pitch, and
smells of cheese"
IA Scotch postmaster, puzzsing
out very uncertain superscrlptioh
to an Irish letter, loosely remarked
to an intelligent son of Erin, who
stood by, that the Irish brought a
hard set of names to Scotland
That's fact, yer honor" replied
the Irishman, "but they get harder
ones after they arrive here" e..
"A Milwaukee man has applied
for a patent On fountain pen, which,
by the pressure of the thumb on a
small rubber ball, projects stream
of ink through the holder and into
the face Of the fellow who is looking
over your shoulder while you are
writing. 1t lacks one essential, how
ever; it makes no provision for the
afterclap. l.s .--
~ Mrs. Van Colt says that at one
of her prayer-meetings a negro bro
ther prayed: ooh, Lord! send ely an
gel to pin de wings on Sister Ban
cots heels dat she may fly troo Gle
world preachin' de everlasting Cos
pei" And one added, Lord! give
wings ON her shoulders, too, or the
preaching viii not have effect fol
she'll fly upside down"
He was a quaint old fisherman
One day, along toward dusk, he was
fishing III trout stream, and, as hi
flung his fly over the water, it was
suddenly snapped by large bat
The strange looking thing danglet
and tapped its wings at the end o
the line, The fsherman's COmpan
ion called out. "Say, Sam, got any
thing?" Eyes" looking at the ba
on the hook. "What is it?'' II dun
40, unless it is cherubim"
"A New Hampshire farmer wan
ted farlh-hand, and was applied t.
by an Irishman who waited to work
The farmer objected to engaging
Pat on the ground that two Irish
men previously in his employ ha'
died on his hands. Then you oh
iect to- hiring me for that do we?
70 ID Pat. Faith and l can brin
,.o,,-, recommendations from many
oIsea w here Eve worked that I neye
played sa. oh a trick ~.,- 1la
-Landro, d Keith, of Salina, wa
once notified b v" gentleman to pleas
,.oo h,. at at the table b.
tipping up q oh. ,ir, which he die
when the train stot ped for supper upper
tush was made for / ~ '+'''' "N
so.,n ou were seated ex ce.pt a goo
sized Dutchman, who was a. ''" T ~"
ing the reserved seat, when W. rnr
told l h;n, that it was reserve J 'f
rsptIoman lie replied; ''Mine ! rle'- '
"A young r oston Mechanic nan S. :"
rco.t = secondhand eiotp
ove. ' - !, thought he would
. store, It 4 reasonable
glad to b. 'ess he asked
ice. How nneh?' -as the an
wenty one doll. vs. V 1ok place,
e , The osuallaeg ing t ave the
the mechanic starte, ltok asks
re. GLOW II vo, n.y. "
,,,orcaant. Three do. '"rs. N
' myse elf ''1 1only make two dol. dollars
d. d,t coat, 20 help me gracious,
NI' late Washington story is that
,- -,s sneaker Ls,J Elaine had a difficulty y
IS Hp'7'''.e' <, racue aboUt n 1