The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-02

y t'tOIHll negro WHO Dtl Ten uOildfS lnhl
Gen. Washington commanded the federals
at Bull Run, handed the money over with
the remark "Wcll, dis yerc hist'ry business
is all mixed up anyway"
n young lady bearing the name of Trot-
ter is candidate for Office in Illinois. She
ought to run ahead of her ticket. Pitts
burgh Commercial.
lie is dead-Maior James Phillips, in his
lifetime passenger conductor on the Lake
Shore railroad. There are other conduct
ors alive, but he was an honest one. He
was also very popular; for when on one oc-
caslon he was transferred TO a train that
had been earning $40 day, passengers
enough began that day to pntronize it to
swell the receipts to 800 day-and,
which was still more singular, these were
not new passengers, but men who evidently
deserted the particular trains to which his
predecessors had been appointed. But, as
we said before, he is dead St Louis
Globe.
The editor of the Colorado Golden Globe,
in closing his volume, says "If we have
hurt any ones feelings or prospects the
past year we are sorry, and if they will
come around back of the Office some night,
we'll take it out of them and be friends"
The North Carolina earthquake has been
interviewed by half Il hundred amateur
scientists, whose general verdict is, mo
great shakes"
A doctor always treated his juvenile pa
tients for "worms." One day, he felt
boys pulse, and looking at the mother, with
a solemn shake of the head, said Worms,
madame worms - "NOw, DOCTOR" said
the mother, at isn't worms at ALL tell We:
that boy fell down on the wood pile and
broke his leg. and want you to stop cry
ing worms and set it immediately" "Ah!"
said the doctor, determined not to be put
down, Worms in the wool madame,
worms in the wood !"
Some Inscriptions triner lately copied
Walt Whitmans prayer of Columbus"
and sent it to western paper for publica-
ton The editor declined it with the re-
mark, 'It the author will let whisky alone,
he may yet rise TO be the chief deck hand
of a canal boat"
Chicago gentleman who recently
Travelled through Ohio, says that everybody
he met called potatoes CATERS, except one
young lady, who called him a ''small per-
later"
Ye pgge he Is pretty fowle
And wondrous good TO eat
His ham is good, lykewyse hys lOwlc,
And exc his little feete.
But though you try thousand years
trow you still Will fayle,
To make SILK purse OF hys care,
Or wissel OF his tayle.
a heavy Fifth avenue swell was heard
struggling with the following the other
day The Engish-ah, have shown in
ali, Ireland and ah-Africa that they-ah,
know how to dem0lish--ah shanties -
GLOW far is it to Cub Creek ?" asked a
traveller of a Dutch woman. ''Only shoost
a little Ways" is it four, six, eight or ten
miles y impatently asked the stranger.
"Yes, | drinks it is" screnely replied the
unmoyed lady.
Here is n dull epitaph Mrs. McFadden
has gone from this life she has left all its
SORROWS and cares she caught the rheu-
matlsm in both of her legs, while scrubbng
The cellar stairs. They put mustard plas-
tiers upon her in vain, they bathed her with
whisky and rum bat Thursday her spirit
departed, and left her body entirely numb"
The heroic firmness with which a wo-
man will persist in carrying roll of dry
goods as large as she can hold in her arms
is only equalcd by the politeness with
which she requests her grocer to deliver n
pound of butter at the house.
Boarder-" What large chickens these
are :"
Landady--'' Yes, chickens are larger
than they used to be- Ten years ago we
couldn't get chickens as large as these"
Boarder with an innocent ar)-"No, |
suppose not these must have grown
great deal IN that time" Landlady looks as
though she had been misunderstood.
\ couple of young Englishmcn recently
arrived in Danbury from their own coun-
try. They put up at the Danbury Hotel,