The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-10-23
RIDING DOWN

Dom Piatt, writing to his pape;, the
Capital Washington, relates the fol-
lowing. The reader, of course, need
not be informed that omnibuses are
called stages in New York:
OF late the stage companies, to escape
the well-known robbery of drivers, have
put the patent box in each stage. The
drivers give change but are not permit
ted to take the fare. We were seated,
when a stout gentleman entered and
crowded into a corner near the door, for
the stage was crowded. The newcomer
took from his vest pocket a ragged note
and passed it along the line. The man
nearest the box was q meek eyed crea-
ture in the single-breasted coat upon
which females are so fond Of casting
their burdens, and sometimes them
selves, FOR he was evidently a
clergyman. This humble follower of
Of the Lord lifted the note and dropped
it in the box.
"HAlloo :" cried the indignant adj
pose near the door, "what'dyou do that
fur? It's a quarter"
I'm very sorry, I'm sure" STAN
mered the gospel expounder.
Much goodIl your sorrow do me-"
answered indignation, working his way
to the hole through which the driver
conversed with the passengers. He
trod on several corns as he pulled the
strap. The stage came to a halt.
81 want my change" he shouted up
through the hole.
What change" shouted down the
driver.
81 put a quarter IN the box"
More fool you"
Il want none Of your impudence."
what do vou want them"
Il want my change"
You can't fool me that wav. How
do ! know you put in a quarter?" And
the driver started. The clergyman
sprang up and pulled the strap and
shouted
81 put the quarter IN, my good man;
il is all correct"
Two Of YOU" retorted the driver.
driving II. Both adipose and piety
hung to the strap.
Blast your ornary souls" roared
the driver, ''do you want 10 pull my leg
off? FL you tech that strap again I'll
come down and b~av-window yer coun-
tenances." Again the stage rolled on.
Permit me, sir" said the clergy
man, pulling out n very thin pocket
book that looked as if ii had gone into
a decline, 4 decline to pay anything
ana presenting fifteen cents.
81 don't want your money" was the
gruff response Il want my own, and
I'm going 10 have it." and he seized the
stray ut the moment the hook -nosed old
lady, who resembled a hawk IN delicate
health, seized it. The feminine hook
nose wanted to get out. The driver
made no response. In an instant the
fst man, the clergyman, and old lady
were swinging on the strap. The strap
suddenly gave way. as if it or the
drivers leg We're broken, and the three,
tunbling ove each other, fell to the
bottom, amid roars of laughter from all
OF IS. The stage came to a halt, and
We heard the driver shout, "P'hce :
p lice :" loud as he could bawL. 4 po-
Lceman responding, the driver informed
him that there was ga riot going on
among the "lunatics inside his stage.
and he'd better settle EN- before we
had another cal. hook murder" The
policeman opened the door. The bel
ligarents had subsidized, save the old
lady, who, attempting to get out, was
promptly arrested. The fat man ex-
planned The case
How is this, driver?" asked the
policeman. This nan says he put a
quarter il your box and you won't give
him his change.
NO; I'd think not, WAS the dry re-
Spouse the way for him to do is to
an afidavy with the Surrogate.
It'll only cost him 4 dollar"
There is but one course for n police
man to pursue, and that is to arrest
somebody. If he cannot arrest any one,
he puts on a dlgnitied air and marches
away. In this case the conservator of
the peace compromised. He arrested