, 1874-06-14
REVIEW OF ADJUSTMENTS.

no fellow has found out. No venture upon tno
subject Of 'tEailers." Webster has no defnl-
ton Of that word, and, but for Alr. sothern's
anecdotes, the world in general might pass away
without reaching satisfactory conclusion. In
order to crafty public anxiety to solve
THE pEoBLEM or ''SA1LEas,"
it will be necessary to narrate certain circum-
stances. Desiring to obtain the opinion OF the
distinguished comedian upon certain unimpor
tant, and, therefore, highly valuable thea.rica
matters. two gentlemen Knocked at his door ut
1890 few nights ago.
"Who the = deuc. ore you" said the
comedian.
Tie names wcro sung out. "C-come in"
said AIr. Botheru. 'I always lock my door to
keep some Of those d--eyilsh bores away who
como to look at me like wax figure.
To tell tho truth, Ar. sothern appenred unlike
any other figure at that moment.
he WAS AnRAYED
in 8 full and flowing robo Of pure white, which
reached his bare feet. It resembled surplco,
except that it covered nothing but Mr. Sothern.
All clerical suggestions were banlshed by the in
trodnctory remarks, however. In one hand Mr.
6othorn held cigar. in tho other si!ce OF pine
apple. On the mantel wGs copy OF Iuc1otlus
open at tho fourth book.
Lucretiue and pineapple must form jolly
compound" +" limited cue Of The visitors.
i nailer,' remarked Dir. Sothern.
"Are you reading for amusementf" inquired
tho other.
"No, indeed; it's horrid bore, but it's too
good-look hore:
suave, uari rnagno turbanttbus aequora vents,
= terra n'aguum alterius spscsars !Aborem'
looking at tho book, "Ive not committed this
yet"
"What are you studying Lucrctius for ?"
cramming." said alr. sothoru. ~ "At table l, q q
day or SO ago was assuming familiarity With
tho classics. 4 tine looking old gentleman
tackled me with Lucretius. I'd read 1t at school,
hut didn't remember limo, which WAS natural,
considering everything. He was pummelinS me
Sleussingcrs essays Of Lncretius' arguments aro
folly or-you remember what he Gays, Est
otonim sine causa,-pardon my doubling it,
bat while he agrees with you in-"
"sOf course he agrees with me, mott this only,
but in everything else, said my friend y ktew
OF course you would quote him, said I, If did
not.'s lie foil into it, had him.
| Piled HIM WITH sLEuss1SGER,
heap OF Esop's fables. I oyerdid it. He 'sus--
sh took him aside, Come, eaid !, you know
! you've bcon drinking pretty freely. You're
] making perfect ass of yourself don't do T. !;
for, Gods sale, don't 40 it, It. III T. tax ta
morrow, ii you like That was nailor. 1t was
loud enough to be overheard, and my generous
forbearance was appreciated:
The distinguished comedian. IN his surpnce,
| LOOK HQULuCI U4l5 VI IAt4CAIpAIs "'-A
away at his Diminishing cigar, aud went back to
Luc1etius. s.I am atrald youwould botray me-
| be commenced again, "if told you something.
won't; hut tell you how got 4 fellow
| on uEZEEIAH
in the came why. / expressed my religious
opinions pretty fully, aud le called NE M
Atheist. I told him could argue any theological
point with him, and tie name OF ne2elaah Struck
me all at ouce. Two hours later had BOUGHT e
up several trcatises on Hezekieh, learned thirty
| in. r1nrferH uD0 was feaQf
for him. 1 engaged confederate to
be saw me eating worsted. SO ct tho table VIC
went to it hammer and tongs: Az long ~
| clung to Hezek,ah had it all my o"n way.
| When we straTed OF, my confed would put III
We'll, hut what has this to do with Hezeklah
Let us get back to Hezekiah. And b; JUDI
cious reserve of my verses succeeded IN max,
lug him confess he had not made 6pecialty o.
| Hozek,ah. That WIS naller'
.'Thcology is your forte, isn's il?
Well, don't know, replied the sacerdotai
EDUCATED FOR CLERGYMAN.
Art ia nv strong point When in Manchester, a
wear or two ago, took lodgings out of town tt
| lie away from the noise and hustle, as well a:
the Jolly fellows. One day, very dear olt
friend one Of tho lol!iest fellows, came 70 see s'
ma. For tho Lords sake, Ned" said he
"vhat are you living in this corner Of tho earth
for :" Nv eve caught cheap daub OF painting
"O,d fellow" replied t'you know my weak
ness for painting. Don't laush at me. ous :, -
como here to enjoy week smons my dear ols
"But why in thunder don't ySou carry ; YOU u
some civilized place."
lyon don't know their value. cant Re
| ANYTHING like the insurance Oh them IN London
aud am not going to risk the labor OF q LIE TO
nothing. YOU know. Don't you admire them Z
s.Fiue pictures," said he.
"Look here" I eaid, ...
"1u1s MAXINE EY dETZESHAS6ER;
take that middle distance. You notice the va
riety of chat third atmosphere,-there but On
brush in Europe can approach 1t. LOOK ~ 1ha
color.-1ich, Eubaue6, harmonious And. no"
this companion hero. 10 % yon note N.ra .ne sen'i
With tho tone OF that barge-eh? Those ar
gems, gems :, on
sive Z" ,; p,. I'M
atthis rustic scene-the pathos OF that stiie WIT
the country girl Oh it tying her shoo-strlns-ln
life and soul OF Nature-Nature III her most ex
altcd nood-that hen with the chcks,.look
the poise and grouping. Aad thls ons-
.Tuey must have been enormously expcnslfe.
s'Hm," haid looking down
s.Would you sell them ?" hc asked. -,
"No," answered coldly- a Ask for my Teati
nv reputation-anythiug but my pictures"
| vera tlu:ct again for q minute.
.:Ta1l me what they cost ?" he sald-
"lou viii not laugh at ms e
"Not l."
t'As BETWEEN GENTLEMEN"
"Certainly-"
"WcIl rs between gentlemen. they cost
ehillings aud 9 pence tue lot, aud are dear
that"
t:He seized lis hat and fed. That was nane'
: He cut me dead, and never will forgive me-.
,, And there the sheeted comedian would hav
sat all might chewing pineapple and saok1n
cigars, but his visitors rccollected the 1rant
bores from whose prosecutions he had just e
. caped aud made graceful exit
TEE DRAMA.
| It required no great stretch OF imasnatlc
= eone days last week to find one eelf led bae
t ecain into the winter season Of amuscment
The weather sustained the nlusion very satisfa'
;. to1iy for several nights, while the brillial
character of tie theatrical representations at Il
, leading houses was less like June than JanuaF'
It is q notable circumstance that the s:mtn'
Absence Of many people from the city ahecte
: the general attendance at the theatres in
+ marked degree. All of them have dono bettt