The enquirer southerner., 1874-04-10
Shariuas.


Why are clergymen like brake-
men? Because they do a good deal
of coupling.
When the boys in Virginia City
wish to raise their kites they tie the
string to a dogs tail and make the
animal run.
A fop, in company, wanting his
servant called out, :" Where's that
blockhead of mine.." "O1 your
shoulders, sir . said a lady.
An old topper says there is one
thing that is never seen coming
through the rye, and that's the
whiskey one gets nova days.
1t is no longer the vulgar title of
Drunkenness" but rather the eu-
phonious and expressive title of"
dipsomanla,' by which the evil is
now to be known.
A poor unfortunate who was
g assisted " out of doors the other
night, says he has no objection to
his wife putting Der foot down, but
he wishes she wouldn't take it up.
Many man thinks it is virtue
that keeps him from turning a ras-
cal, when it's only full stomach.
One should be careful and not mis-
tke potatoes for principales.
Emerson says :. The way to
make the world better is by reform
ing number one, then there is sure-
ly one less william in the world"
at is a very solemn thing to
get married, said Aunt Bethany,
Eyes but its great deal more sol>
emn not to be- said her niece.
1t was North Carolina lanlord
who posted the notice in his dining
room that members of the Legisla-
ture would be seated, and alters
ward the gentlmen.
a side whiskered dandy at Lea
venworth was shot for 4 rabbit, and
the coroner said it was all right,
ard that he knew of q dozen 9TH
ers who ought to be shot.
A mother admonishing her son "a
lad about seven yerrs of age,) told
him that he should never defer till
tomorrow what he could do to-day.
The little urchin replied, :'Then,
mother, let's eat the remainder of
the the pudding tonight.
"Do try to talk little common
sehse?'' exclaimed a sarcastic young
lady to a visitor. .'Oh,' was the reply,
"but wouldn't that be taking unfair
advantage Of you?''
Diggins thinks the young man in
Minnesota who sent his fathers re-
mains to Boston in dry goods box,
labeled 'venison,' to save expense,
was an affectionate son. His father
was dear to him.
"What would our wives say il
they knew where we were!." said
the captain of schooner when they
were beating about in a deep fog.
fearful of going ashore. "Humph.
shouldn't mind that" replied the
mate, elf we only knew where we
were ourselves.
An ambitious young lady was
talking very loudly about her fa>
yorite authors, when a literary char
asked her if she liked Lamb. With
a look of inefable disgust, she ans.
wered that she cared very little
about what she ate, compared with
knowledge.
An ingenious wife in Des Mosnes
cured her husband of snoring thus
She had gutta percha tube with
the cup shaped ends: one she puts
over his nose ard mouth, and thu
other over his ear. He consumes
his own noise, as stove does its
smoke, and wakes up instanter.
A gentleman seeing an Irishmar
fencing in very desolate peice o.
land, said: "What are you fencing
in that for Pat? A flock of sheer
would starve to death on that land,
"And sure your honor, want 1 fen
cling it to keep the poor critters
out" replied Pat.
A Colorado game of draw poker
Mr.. Graves held a "king full, and
Mr.. Walker rejoiced in three aces
and raised it to four aces, claiming
the stakes, whereupon Graves drew
a six shooter and reckoned his
hand was the best. Walker supple.
mented the four aces with a bowie.
knife. There was enough in the
"pot !" to purchase two cofiins.