Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-11-08
THAT DETROIT POLICE COURT.
gems from the Bench and scinfiiia-
lions fronz the Gutter.

And on the trap-door he was halted;
His hat was tayed in, his boots we're All mna,
And his two eyes some rough 'un had Deiied.
"You're sailor. aren't yoiSp inquired
his honor, as the prisoner hung to the rail-
ing and stood on one Leg
ayes, sail" was the answer.
SHOW about this getting drunk"
aIs that the charge" 80
r"Yes, sir.7 -
81 thought 1t was stealing chickens" said
the prisoner, .heaving sigh Of relief.
They found him lying on the wharf, the
cool breeze of an autumn evening toying
with bis raven locks, and his legs hanging
gracefully over lump of Briar Hill coal.
He didn't want to sscome along and he
tried to kick the officer below the belt and
do murder. He said he wanted to go and
he an angel; that the soft breeze was whis-
pering to him to cast off this shell called
life and fly to the stars, and the officer had
to trundle him down here in a handcart.
"What did the soft breezes seem to sayP''
inquired his honor.
Il don't remember much about it, |" re-
piled the prisoner, glancing around in an
uneasy manner.
"Did they seem to say five dollars or
thirty days?' inquired the court.
The prisoner was undecided, and Bijan
put the fatal ehalk-mark on his back and led
him away.
Not for Joseph, OH dear no.
NOT ior Joseph nor Ion Joe'
Hummed the boys, as Joseph Becker slid
out and came to right dress and eyes
front.
Attention, soldier" SAID his honor, after
a long gaze at the country defender. "f GU
have charged against the Dreastwork OF
Justice, and now let's hear your excuse Tor,
being found shot IN the neck:
''Fust time, your honor" pleaded the
man.
And YOU are repentant?
Il am
sand You have made upyour mind TO let
whisky severely alone after this?"
Il have "a ET-
swell, you anright face, forward march,
hle right, and take the skirmlsh line In de-
tense Of the cause Of temperance. Remem-
Der, Joseph, that these little WHISKY glasses
are rife-pits along the 'front.' Oh the enemys
line, and that decanters ana q. mIonns are
strong lines OF earthworks behind his line
OF battle. Every invitation from friend
to take sunthin' wet, is rifle fifteen FOUNDER
turned against you, and every drink IS an
dbGftis in favor OF Satan's position. Make
yourself commander in the cause OF cold
water, sage tea and iced mix. SEND out
strong picket, support them win Tour iull
companies of infantry and field-piece. II
driven IN, send down a regiment to hold
the line and order up the guns Then,
under cover Of the smoke, mass your force
to strike his exposed left wing, and send
word down the line to unsling knapsaeks
and 60 in with the bayOnet. You may 90, |
James, but ponder aud reflect on these |
things" M
@PERKINs? PERKINS?
s'SeemS to me | have heard that name be- |
fore" unused the court, as Julia Perkins, a |
damsel of twenty, came out and gave her |
name.
s.Yes, it's Perkins" she replied.
sand Perkins was drunka> 4A
'.NO, sir-Perkins was taken with aspell
of dizziness
"Ahl Juliar' said his honor, smiling
blandly, s'do not attempt to deceive an old
man like me, nearing the last mile-pOSt ON
the road to the silent tomb
"Well, it wasn't anything but cider, any
how" she replied.
The officer said ii was this brand Of cider
which biteth like a serpent and stingeth
like lost election bet. lie said she was
drunk plain, straight case, and when he
was bringing her down she tried 10 bite
him.
give got witnesses" exclaimed Julia.
"Prance 'em out" said his honor.
She looked all around. glanced up at
Bijah with an appealing look, and then she
settled back with sigh of despair. |
ssChaIk her for thirty" said the CONT,
and Biiah crooked his finger for her TO fol-
low him.
low, SAD SINGING
had been heard during the Perkins trial,
md the cause of it was conducted out The
,ause was Alice Mccarthy, over whose
auburn head but three and twenty years
lad tracked their silent way. She had
ears in Der eyes, and her nose took on a
-Osy hue Of a new hose-cart. Ii was case
IF shouting drunk" and the facts they
we're plain.
"a sad, sad CASE unused his honor, de-
iberately impaling an ambitious coekroach
IN the point of his pen.
A tear rolled down her briny cheek.
"YOu might have been some ones happy
,ride-had little cherubs to sit on your
a chance to cut over old
.lothes Iand make preserves" he contin-
led.
A tear fell from the other eye.
sand in due time you could have been
he bell-sheep at church festivals, and been
lected delegate to a national convention.
I on might have been, and why didn't you
,e?n /.
"She was deeply affected. She gasped and
ighed, piped her eyes, sighed again, and
oftly whispered:
SaGive US rest?"
He made the fine FIVE dollars, it was paid, :
nd when court stood adjourned his honor
emarked 10 Bijah.
''She was human to err"
ssYes, and FER was human,n replied
'ijah.
They looked long at each other.
1t was a pun.
They realized it.
"They reached out and shook.
MARTA N,c0PNuCK