The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-04-03
FRESH MILK.
DANBURY MAN DETERMINED TO HAVE
Ir-How HE GOT IT.

! DANBURY MAN DETERMINED TO HAVE
Ir-How lie GOT IT.
The man across the way who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his own garden
through the summer, has bought a COW.
His wife told him how nice it would be to
have a COW on the premises, SO as to have
milk fresh and pure every day, and.always
in abundance. Then they could make but
ter themselves and not eat the rank stuff
out of the store. She told him there was
enough stuff from the garden and table to
almost keep the COW, and the product
would be just about so much clear gain.
He figured it up himself with pencil, and
the result surprised him. He wondered
why he had not kept COW before, and
inwardly condemned himself for the loss
he had been inllictipg upon himself Then
he bought a COW.
On the evening Of its arrival he went
out to milk 1t. Bat the animal was excl
ted by the strange surroundings, and
stepped on our friend and kicked over
his pail, and nearly knocked one of his
eyes out with her tail. He worked at the
experiment for an hour, but without anv
success. Then his wife came out to oiyc
advice, and his son came out to see the fun.
The cow put one of her heels through the
womans dress, and knocked the bow down
in the mud, which ended their interest in
the matter One OF the neighbors MIXED
the animal that night, and came around
the next morning and showed the man
| hcw to do it.
The third day the COW escaped the SUR
VIGILANCE of the 10y who was left to watch
her, and when the man came home nj nipht.
she was nowhere To be found The Iov
had also disappeared, and our neinhbor
found he was obliged to hunt her up ba.
fore supper. He walked around for y
while, and then returned home, but the
animal had not been seen. Then he went
Oft again and made IL very thorough search,
anil about II O'Clock that night he came
back with the COW, his clothes bcgrimcd
with Precipitation aud dust, and his face
| flushed and scratched. He wanted to
kick the animals ribs il, but realizing that
such course would result in pecuniary
damage, he changed his mind The boy
wishes he had obeyed the first impulses.
On the fourth day they 2hurned, SO rs to
have fresh butter for the table. The moth
CT took hold Of the dasher frs., because she
said she used to do it when a girl and
liked no better sport. She pounded away
until she caught Il crick in the back that
doubled her up like IA knife, and then
she put the heir to it. He had been stand
ing around eagerly waiting for chance.
and grumbling because he didn't get it,
and when the dashcr WAS placed i'll his
hand he was 50 happy he could hardly IL
tain himself. He pumped away for an
hour ut it; then he said II he had to do it
any more he would run away and be rob-
Der.
At noon the man came houlG and learned
the situation. lie was a little disgustcd at
the "tom- foolery," as lie called it, and took
hold of the churn himself, and made it
bounce for while. Then his stomach
commenced to fall ill., and his spine to un
Joint, and his shoulders to loosen. He
stopped ard wiped off the Precipitation,
and looked around with melancholy cast
to his features, and went ut it again The
butter Gid not come, however, bat every
thing in the way of oratorical effect did.
II, got so dreadlully excited that his wife,
smelling stangly of camphor, took the
dasher away from him, and went to work
herself AT this the son put his cap under
his jacket, and miraculously disappeared.
Later in the day the milk was poured around
the grape vine. On the fifth day the COW
knocked down Il longth of fence to the next
lot, and ate all the oranges from tree that
stood in tub, and when the people at
tempted to drive her out, she carried away
new ivy on her horns, knocked down a
valuable vase OF flowers, and capped the
climax by stumbling over box of MOSES
and falling on pile of dollhouse frames
On the sixth day our neighbor sold his COW
to butcher, and now eats strong butter
which comes from the store.