The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-03-05
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.


8 spawned mule, single barrel pistol, and a
brass watch, and you make him supremely
happy, ao
the question is: (Which one?" Sometimes
there is struggle between them before the mat
ter is settled.
A distinguished preacher says that piety
is the best cure for scolding wife; but he
doesn't tell whether the wife must have it or
the husband.
An embryo poet, who is certainly a close
observer of human nature, remarks Lime
marches on with the slow, measured tread of
man working by the day"
- There is man in Kentucky who is so
fond of money that it is said that after paying a
man bill he walks home with him, so as to be
near the money as long as possible.
- We often live under a cloud; and it is
well for us that we should do so: Uninter-
rupted sunshine would parch our hearts; we
want shade and rain to cool and refresh them.
Some people think it mistake to suppose
women have stronger attachments than men.
A man is often attached to an old hat, but
who ever heard of woman being attached to
an old bonnet.
- There are forty lawyers practicing at the
bar of Bourbon County, KY, District Court
This must be the place where the Bourbons
come from, which we read so much about in
the Radical newspapers.
"A wheat field in California is seventeen
miles long. When the owner plows it he starts
the plows on one furrow and goes all day, when
night comes stops and camps out, and plows
back the next day
- One Of the features of the Oranges is that
not single one can be organized without the
companionship of women. No charter will be
issued to organize Grange, even if hundred
of the best farmers want it and ask for it,
unless a certain number of women join.
A few days ago very handsome lady en-
tered dry goods house and inquired for a
"beau" The polite clerk threw himself back
and remarked that he was at her service.
eyes, but want buff not green one," was
the reply. The young man went on measuring
goods Immediately.
- Gen. Gordon has written letter to the
Atlanta Herald, in which he says that if the
South and West will get up memorials to Con-
gress on the subject, the country will get a
currency equal to gold-a currency issued by
the Government itself without any tax to the
people.
- An artist who painted a portrait for a
gentleman noted for his frequent libations,
invited the gentleman's friends to see it. One
OI
preached it too closely, and the artist, in
alarm. exclaimed: "Don't touch it, it amt
dry p "No use looking at it, then,'' replied
the old gentleman; ''it can't be my friend"
- The following is copy of a petition now
being circulated in Massachusetts for sigma
ture: eve, the undersigned, citizens of
Massachusetts, and consumers of tobacco,
protest against any advance in the rate of tax
on what we consider one of the necessaries of
life and a great help in the temperance reform
now going on in this State"
- In trying a case at Columbus the Judge
met an unexpected difficulty. A negro witness
was brought from Jail to testify, but re-
fused to do So The Judge threatened him
with imprisonment, whereupon his lawyer said
that was what Joe wanted, for the imprison-
ment of fye days would remit the sixty he was
serving!
- It isn't easy to close our lips to friends
when we have opened our hearts to them, it is
true; but for all that, real wisdom will teach
us not to allow the flow of words to be turned
on as they turn on the waters of fountain,
and then run them at full speed, bringing up
everything, till it requires patent screw
in strong hand to stop them again.
- At a school examination an eloquent
clergyman made brief address to the pu-
pills of the necessity Of obeying their teach
ers and growing up loyal and useful citizens
To emphasize his remarks, he pointed to
large national flag spread ON one side of the
for" "A little urchin, who understood the
condition ofth house better than the speaker,
promptly answered, sTo hide the dirt, sir."
with Southern members of Congress, remarked
that as far as it was in his power he should
hereafter strictly follow the policy of comforting
appointments in the South on those whose
loyalty and character were such as to entit.e
them TO his favorable consideration. He was
of the opinion that the so-called carpet-bag
element had not contributed much to the good
of the party in that section.
- The Havana correspondence of the New
York Tribune represents the condition OF
affairs in Cuba as utterly disorganized and
the feeling of the people as desperate. The
success OF the insurgents in the interior, ac-
companied by the dscouraging reports from
Spain, have demoralized the rulers and dis
heartened the Spanish residents. Everything
seems to point to the eventual success Of the
insurrection.
- Carnival season in New Orleans this year
has made greater sensation than ever before.
Thousands upon thousands of strangers were
present, and everything went merry as the
marriage bell. Judging from the reports in
the New Orleans press, the city must have
been sight to behold.
= The original patent for metallic tips for
shoes was sold for 500, and the company
which bought it become wealthy. Now, upon
its expiration, the inventor has obtained its
renewal and compes the company to pay him
$4,000.
ADIsGUsTED ED1ToR.-An editor of a New
Jersey paper, on retiring, says:
II retire from the editorial chair with COM
plete conviction that all is vanity. From the
hour first occupied the position of editor to
the present time have beer solicited to lie on