Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1874-10-01
GRAB BAG.

NJ
The less mon think the more they
talk. 49,
"A man who has no mind will NO,
change it. @ 7aG
Tho rich mans malady--the dread
Of coming to wants. terrible dis.
ease.
i &C Orthographobia--A disease with
the worst, widest, and craziest Of
spella $50 ap @
Eight Connecticut young ladies
have just taken the veil. They were
hopelessly freckled..
when : Maryland doctor spells II
sssaccufortus,n 10 It any wonder that q
patient dies on bis hands? !?
Brooklyn is pious place. Even
the saloon keepers quote scripture.
One Of them has for . sign. why
halt ye between two opinions?"
o. An Englishman who emerged
from mfne just after an explosion,
observed that business was too blarst-
cd lively for him down there.
"A Pittsburg woman was cured Of
speechleseness by the prayers of a
priest. Her husband is now looking
for that priest with a shotgun.
ANY girl may raise q rnustache by
shaving her upper lip every day for .
month. A st. Louis girl has demon
strated this fact, and now wishes she
hadn't.
Tho Common Council OF Cleve-
land u going to stop steam whistles
from screeching, or bankrupt the city
treasury in trying II on.
-I4ast year he was worth 500, 900.
Then he began to drink whisky and
seltxer, and now he's . pauper. Where
these ravages Of seltzer are going to
cease the most precedent Of us cannot
tell.
1T 10 not an uncommon observa-
ton that . man who IL continually
talking about his " ceaseless yearnings
after righteOusnessn can't get trusted
atgrocery stores ~ quick as man who
swears.
When we'll known Omaha thief
meets . policeman and hands him FIVE
dollars, it 70 the duty Of the officer to
60 and cit down In an alley and see
nothing for the next hour nothing but
the nve dollars.
--E. II. Weston, the funny man Of
the Lancaster On. H.l Republican, Sub.
mits the pronunciation Of ErAstus
Richardson" % being . test whether .
man 70 drunk or not. "Rassus Risson," !"
he Gays, won't do.
Il seems like waste of time to
spend i've years at West Point for the
purpose OF acquiring the title OF lieu
tenant when . boy can be called "col-
onel" by simply addressing . few
words to . thirsty crowd in a bar
room.
"Queer people, those kansans," says
the Cievsland Herald. "They get rid
Of . man who borrows horse, in an
hours time, and yet It takes them over
Q year to make up their minds how to
dispose OF man who buys up . Leg
islaturc."
He went out between the acts and
returned vigoreusly chewing Glove.
His wife asked him where he had been,
aud no aid "to see q friend" She
calmly replied that she thought his
friend must be dead, ~ she could
smell his bier.
"Party politics are ignored in Ne
vads, wrots the editor Of Q local paper.
His intelligent compositor set It up,
/" Party politicians are ignorant" The
editor got mad, but the subscribers
want 70 preopte the compositor to the
post OF editor-3n-chief for his kn0wl-
edge u the situation.
An old gentleman went into the of
flee Of one of the papers in st. John,
N. B., the other day, and presenting .
clip cut from . London paper an
nouncing tho death OF . person well.
known IN st. John, and asked to have
il inserted, as there are great many
Of his friends here who would like tc
hear Of his death"
"A San Francisco Judge has put in
practice ansold English ruling, thal
misrepresentation before marriage II
good ground for divorce. One Man.
Ter Yotski complained that his wife,
Eddel, had practiced fraud upon him
BY falsely representing before mar.
ria2e that abe was . sound and healthy
woman, when In fact che was subject
to insanity. Whereupon the Judge
granted his petition for . divorce.
~ Y. / VI