The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-06-14
The Troubles of Running . Hash-Mill.
[Cincinnati commercially

Cincinnati commercial
"About hash 2" When we make hasf
we don't, Of course, use fresh meat. Hast
is not made in that way. If it were made
of anything except the scraps that are left
it wouldn't be hash. Besides, if scrap.
were not used, boarders wouldn't believe il
anyhow. That is the logic of hash. To the
scraps hash owes its variety, the spice Of
hash. am speaking freely of these things
you see, for l want to make a fair state.
ment, notwithstanding the fact of our being
80 grossly misrepresented. But l don't
know that you care to have me go on fur
far as we are able, to do the clean thing
with our bOarders How that meuse hap
pened to be cooked in the chicken pie that
they made such fuss ab,ut, Pm sure
don't know. gave my wife Q good scold-
ing for it, and said she ought to have been
more careful and taken the mouse out be-
fore she set the pie on the table for decent
people to eat, but it did no good then, you
see.
So it was with tho cat tracks on the
pumpkin pie. We couldn't help it. You
see the pie was brought ont and set on the
supper table, and was not noticed, though
the cat tracks were plain enough to be seen
when that old maid of boarder pointed
them out Immediately after the minister,
who was visiting us, had said grace. That,
however, was not the worst of it. You see
the minister and his wife and the professor
came to see us and take supper, aud we were
putting on our best ticks. The cat-track
business was a sort of a damper, to he sure !;
but we were trying to make up for that, and
paid little attention to the demonstration
the hack-driver tried to get up on account
of finding a bug in his biscuit, for in the
hurry of putting up meals such things may
happen. 1t was little embarrassing, it is
true, to have that hack driver and the coal
barge captain enter into warm debate as
to whether the bug was of the bed or potato
species, but obey both showed their ignor-
ance of natural history, and only made fools
of themselves.
This is what caused me the trouble. The
brakeman and the canal boat pilot had a
quarrel that day at dinner, which noticed
the old maid was anxious to have renewed.
The minister was speaking of the moral
aspects of the temperance crusade, and the
Professor was discussing with me the topic
of the transit of Venus, when the old maid
observed to Jim, the brakeman, that Buck,
the pilot, had said in her presence that he
had mind to bust Jim's smeller. The
minister insisted that it was a great and
glorious cause, the Professor declared that
che astronomical observations to be made
would startle scientific world, and Jim
remarked that he could mash any canal
snOozer that ever straddled rudder. The
minister continued: 'This noble work of ref
y the Professor added: "In the
whole range of telescope vision"-and
Buck handed Jim a teacup in the eye; Jim
with the bread plate, and Buck
replied with the water pitcher. Then they
reached across the table, felt for each other
and embraced. Inever felt so mortified in my
life. As they were at itin the corner, our late
peaceful board on top of them, with its legs
in the air, declared was sorry this thing
had ever happened, and just at that particu-
ar time, with the company present. At the
moment had net figured up my loss, which
was forty-nine dollars, without insurance.
Added to this was the loss Of three Of my
boarders, wins went out next morning to
look out for Ga nice private boarding place
in qniet family" and in their hurry to
leave they forgot to square up with me.