The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-04-07
CoNFEDRIT x. ROADS,
witch is in the State Nv Kentucky)}
March % 1874

CONFEDRIT x. ROADS,
witch is in the State Nv Kentucky)}
March %, 1874.
The weather is gtiin milder and mider,
and there is no possibility Nv our stavin off an
attack upon Bascom's wich is our fortress.
Joe Big er and Pollock ever sence the tale-
yoor NV the last croosade (wich wuz postpon-
ed on account of the weather,) hev bin per-
petooally and persistently inflamin the minds
Nv our wimmin, till they hev their rage work
ed up to degree that is terrible. Mrs. Pol
lock and Mrs. Bieler hev bin out all
day calm on the wives and dawters NV our
citisens. For instance, they'd go to LuciDdy
Gavitt (Issaker's wlfe) all rugged up in silks
and furs and dollar jooelry, and sich, and sch
and tell Lucindy that ef Issaker would only
save his mummy instid Nv spendin it at Bas-
CONS s she Good hev all these things jest ez
well ez not. And then al the women in Lu-
cindy's wood be stirred up aud she wood more
than howl. When Lucindy saw that these
two wimmin had actOoal stOckins on she
swCre that she wood never rest un i'll Bascom
wuz busted.
We knew NV all this and trembled. The
frost wuz gitin out Nv the ground; fair,
warm days wuz comm on, and the rad on
to us Good not be much longer postponed.
Our wimmin Good git out ez soon ez it wuz
warm euuff for EN- to go out without shoes,
and we kpowd that when they Good get out
they wood.
'Will they come in and smash in the bar.
rels ?" asked Bascom.
'sPrecisely so.'
swat kin we do?" groaned Deekin Pog
ram.
swat kin we do?' wuz the ekkoin ansel
from every wun Nv them.
'.This is wat we kin do" sed promptly
''Let G. w. take the barrels this afternoon
and roll EN- out into his barn, where 'hese
a sill gle demi- -john-an hours supply in the
bar. Eff they come and smash, why they kin
only smash a gallon at a time. Yoo kin
draw out gallon at a time, and the enemy kin
never git at our magazeen. Hev 1 spoken
well?"
'.Like sage-like a sage! 1t is well-t is
wellr'
Bascom consented. and we all turned in to
help him roll the barrels out. Never did men
is southing inspirin in the rolin Nv barrels.
Good work at it forever.
We got EN- all safely in the barn, Bascom
drawd out demijohn. and We felt compara-
lively safe no matter what shood happen.
Night came on, and at 10 p. N. left Bas-
CONS to go to my humble bed al Deekin Po-
grams. Ez approached his dxellin l fell
into a train nv thot. he'd only he'd five
drinks, and telt h ngin ior more. / want
time. all that Good lay to. ] thot 10 myself
there is them barrels in Bascom's barn. Wat
is to prevent me from gittin bottle and goin
there, and draw it full, and for wunst in my
life hev a selfsatIsfyin fullness? Nothin.
he'd marked the locashun NV them barrels,
and l Good 60 in the dark to em ez well ez in
the glare Nv the broad day.
/ determined to do it. l went to my room
and got bottle and went thro the alley on
wich the barn stood. Caushushly scan The
fence crept into the barn, and crawled up to
the barre! wich he'd tine fawct in. / wuz en-
veloprd in Cimmerian darkness. l reached
out keerfully to find the fawcit, when 1 heerd
rustlin sound ez tho somebody else wuz
neer. laid still on my ABDOMEN till the
sound ceased. It's nothin," sed to myself,
and crawled up closter. Confoosh nj My
hand struck livin human body! DRAWN
back hastily, my boot struck an obstacle,
wich, ez eff the exclamash'n wuz wrung from
it, remarked. ''Thunderv' Just then mated
wuz drawd, candle wuz lighted. and
Taboo!
There stood Bascom erect with panied
expression onto his countenance, and on
their abdoule ems, each with bottle in his
hand and crawlin towards the barrel wuz
Deekin Pogram, Capt. McPelter, Issaker Ga
witt, Elder Pennibacker, and evry wun Nv
them wich wuz in Bascom's when the ar
and wich assisted in movin EN-.
The that that he'd okkurred to me he'd
| likewise okkurred to all the rest.
wuz the only one who had presence Nv
mind. dropt my bottle afore riz, and
sprineing to my feet denounct EN- for the
breach uv faith they wuz committin.
ssWat are VOC here for?' demanded Deekin
Pogram. "Didnt yoo come here for j.st wat
we come 70: ?'
"DidI come here with bottle p I replied.
'.Did come here like a thief in the night, to
pilfer our good friends sustenance? Oh,
$50 -;rA.a--u yA> - ooueroa Nv yOor up
petites? Can't y0o wait till the mornin, or,
es 700 must hev yoor nip, can't 700 60 like
men 60 the bar, and hev EN- charged to 700?
/ blush fer the Corners"
They all skunk out, leavin me and Bascom
alone.
SITS all very well, Parson," sed he, his eye
glitterin crooelly. "YOO drapt yoor bottle
skillfully. Did yoo spoze wuz sich an ijeot
ez to leeve all my likker all alone doorin a
mite? Not any, Go TOO, yoo hoary-headed
deceever."
And he turned me out and put paddock
! on the barn, and went sorrowfully to my
| home ez dry ez lime-kill. Better for me
| wood il hev bin eff he'd never thot NV it..
Better never hev hope than hev it fail. But
there remains to us jest wat we he'd before.
This escapade don't dry up any Nv our
| sources NV supply, and we hev 1t so fixed that
| an the wimmen in the Corners can't inter-
fere with gittin our regler drinks. Thank
( Heaven for so much.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
(Wich wuz postmaster.