Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1874-04-04
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SAYINGS AND DOINGS.


KING KoFFEE keeps his 1888 wives
under the same roof with his magazine
of military munitions. They do about
as he says.
| CHARLES LAMB, when speaking of one
Of his rides on horseback, remarked
that all at once his horse stopped, but
he kept right on.
A CAPTAIN OF new military eompa-
ny, drilling his men the other day, near
the Mississippi river, coolly ordered
them to "fall in.
GOATS milk is said to make the
cheeks look red and peachy, but a goats
head will do the same thing, if the ami
NAL has fair run of ten feet.
THUs sings an emigrant from the
"gem of the sea :"
There's not mile in Ireland's isle.
Where the dirthy vermin musthers,
But st. Pathrick put his howly fut.
And murthered them in clusthers
The toads went dash, the frogs went splash
All jumpin' in the wather;
And the schnakes committed shuicide
To save themselves from sclhaughter
LOVE your neighbor as yourself-bor-
row his plough, hoe, or horses when
ever you can ; but if he wants to bor-
row yours, tell him that you are very
sorry, but you were just going to use it
yourself.
A CINCINNATI girl can write beautiful
poetry when asleep, and also speak three
foreign languages while unconscious of
what she says. But, after all, it's better
to curl down under the sheets and sweet
ly sleep until Aurora beams again.
If twenty-seven inches of snow give
three inches of water, how much milk
will COW give fed upon turnips? Null
tiply the flakes by the hairs on the cows
tail, then divide the product by tur-
nip, add pound of chalk, multiply the
whole by the pump, and the total will
be the answer.
A KENTUCKY farmer refused to look
at sample sewing machine recently,
as he always "sewed wheat by hand"
He is related to the man who did not
want threshing machine on his farm,
for, " said he, "give me harness tug
or barrel staye, and | can make my
family toe the mark according to The
law and Scriptur."
No MORE truthful sentence was ever
penned by man than the following writ.
ten by Chancellor Kent: "The parent
who sends his son into the world uned-
ucated defrauds the community OF a
lawful citizen and bequeaths to it a nui-
sance." These words should be written
in letters of gold over the entrance of
every school in the land.
IT IS we'll known fact that harness
and other leather exposed to the action
of ammonia in stables, soon becomes
weak and rotten, even though often
cleaned and creased. Prof. Artus re-
commends the addition of small guam
tity of glycerine to the oil used in
greasing sucl leather, asserting that it
always keeps it soft and pliable.
A PHILOSOPHICAL Kentuckian, who
had but one shirt, and was lying in bed
while the garment was drying on the
clothes-line in the yard, was startled
by an exclamation from his wife to the
effect that the calf had eaten it. "Well,"
said the Kentuckian, with a spirit
worthy of better cause" well, them
who has must lose"
PRESIDENT WHITE, of Cornell, says
that he knows of but one single instance
among the young ladies at the universi-
ty of inability to keep we'll up with the
class. He observes that as a Iule they
average about ten per cent. better on
the examination papers than do the
young men that they have raised the
average of conscience and manliness
aud decency more than ten per cent.
The woman's whisky war has actually
diminished the sale of liquors in Ohio
and Indiana to such an extent that the
revenue in these states for February
was less by 100000 than it was the
previous month. This is a proof that
the efforts of the women have accom-
plished something more than the ezas-
peration of the rumsellers. There is
general desire on the part of consum-
ers of cigars that a similar crusade
should be begun against tobacco. 1t
could hardly fail to arrest to some ex-
tent the consumption of the weed, and
hence to reduce the present high price
Of cigars, to the delight of confirmed
and hardened smokers.