The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1874-10-29
Unhappy Marriages.

/ - . Auie, naETiaRes are unhappy.
The unhappiness varies from simple rest
lessneSs and discomfort 10 open hatred
and quarrelPg; but enough of I exist
everywhere 10 prevent marriage from
realizing the dream of the youth and
maiden and the ideal Of the poet. Like
/ all other relations entered into bv human
bsIngs, thar Of matrimnnv suffers by the
/ faults and imperfect ms on the parties To-
/ II. The evils Of the human nature, which
/ produce 50 much other suffering in the
/ world, cannot be expected 10 remain
inactive as between a man and a woman
brought and kept together in lifelong
intimacy. The benedlction Of the priest
| does not wipe out original Sin, nor can the
most fervent love eradicate the Wayward
impu ses Of the heart.
Without wasting time in lamentations
over this incontrOvertible fact, the philos
opher will inquire into the best remedy
for the mischefs it involves. II prrtec-
t on is uuattained and uuattainable i'm
marriages, an approach may, perhaps, be
made 10 it, ev.n under most uuflvurable
conditions, which viii satisfy all reas5ua-
bic expectations But 10 arrive az this
result we need 10 see clearly what il il
Reluctant Is men will be 10 saw So. il l. /
nevertheless the truth, that unhappines- /
in married life, is far more the fault of
husbands than of wives. We 90 not /
assert this out Of partiality for the wives. /
but from a knowledge of the respective I
constitutions Of the male and female char 1
acter.
1t is Of the peculiar nature of women /
to love, and to love one man whom they /
choose out and prefer above all Others |
OF course there are exceptions 20 this |
rule, as there are to all rules; hut the \
great mass, as any one may satisfy him /
self by observation, arc disposed 20 coutinc /
their affections 70 one object. Ifappear- /
ances sometimes indicate the contrary-ifI
women seem 20 be inconstant and capri |
cious- it is because they fail 10 find the
resting place that they seek. Their |
instincts lead them TO try a succession OF
foundations on which 10 build their life,
until they come TO one that seems 10
them firm and stable When they have
done this, however, they are disposed 10
be contented, and it is an easy matter t.
keep them 50.
Men, on the other hand, not being
subject to any intense and overpowerng
necessity of loving. are naturally incon-
slant Their affections are shallow and
readily excited, but as readily suhsidc
again. Besides this, they have n thou
sand occupations which women have not,
to distract their minds and fill their
thoughts. As Byron makes Donna julia
write to Don Juan, after his desertion of
her
"Nian's love i Of his lite n thing apart.
IT'S womIu'a whole existence; man may
range
The court camp, church, the vessel and the
Sword, gown, gain, glory, offer in cN-
Pride fame, ambition, to ill up his
heart,
And few there are whom these cannot cs-
traugr.
To love again ana be again undone
The consequence Is, that in marriage
the woman is usually true, while the man
is often untrue, not, as some suppose,
because women have fewer opportunities
OF unfaithfulness than men, but because
they are indisposed to seek them, and
to profit by them when they are Of
fered.
The laws aud customs OF society, and
the peculiaritirs of domestic life also, put
the Happines, of the married partners far
more within the control OF the husband
than Of the wife. The husband i the
head and ruler Of the family. lie chooses
his place OF residence, fixes the scale of
his housekeeping and makes its arrange
ments sub-erve his necessities or his
pleasure The wife has to carry out his
plans and consult his wishes To do So
j.. indeed, from the nature OF the feminine
mind, already mentioned, her delight;
but whether that delight shall be greater
or les, depends on the husband. lie
can render her daily routine irEsome or
easy, as he likes, according ~ be show,
or the want Of IL for il FIR
her strength aud abilities, and according
to hi. appreciation Of her efforts 20 fulfill
business 10 make his home happy, and
she his q. much ambition 20 succeed
in II, as it j. his business and ambition
to make the money which his home costs
him
The natural disposition Of a wife Is
likewise to respect the intellectual charac-
ter Of her husband. and it requires 4 good
deal of positive effort on rs part t. pre-
vent her doing so. Women admire in
man strength Of mind no Ices than
strength Of body, and IN choosing n hus-
band take the former into consideration
far oftener than is supposed. Miss Bronte
saws that they try men the same ~ an
elephant tries bridge; il they can bend
them. hey 30 not trust themselves 20 them.
Whrnt53th they h ave made their choice they
a dido by II, and the man, who, rs a lover,
won a woman. esteem A. her husband,
starts with an immense advantage on his
side.
How stupidity men fail to keep the
position which their wives assign them,
aud insist op ii-peIiinS the amiable deIu
sion in regard to their intellectual superb
ority, is notorious
Al this being 50, the remedy for most
marriages is obvious. i is for
husbands to make greater efforts to retain
the affection Of their wives.