The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-09-26
Naming the Baby.

for name, and, as the sixth of the Ia
test edition of Smudge was indicative of
toll in the ranks of men, as the infant
looked strong--almost warlike-a great
name was the quest of its distracted
parents. Mrs. S. wanted 1t named after
some Old Bible character. Smudge sug-
gested Sampson Goliah, which would
typlfy strength; Mrs. S. leaned to Moses
Samuel, emblematical OF weakness.
Smudge had declared that he would
expose the child to the measels before it
should be nicknamed Nose or Sam.
Then he limited at Jonah; but Mrs, S.
would listen to no such monogram. She
didn't want her last child's name con-
nected with a fish storyl Already they
had named child Haman, and she was
sure that he would be hanged some day.
Seeing that no Scriptural name could be
agreed upon, she suggested Omega, re-
minding Smudge that they had named
their first born Alpha. .,...,-
You don't call this one Omega said
Smudge, IN put the name away, and
when we want it I'll let you know. How
would Martin Luther do?'
T'm Baptist, am, Smudgel' rotor
ted Mrs. s., coloring. L don't want
any Luther names in this house. For
your mothers sake, l allowed one of
my children to be called Jonathan Wes-
ley. She don't poke any Methodist
names on to me again. If Luther had
been a Baptist, the name might do.
There's Roger Williams. Roger Viii
liams Smudge would sound well. He
could write it R. Williams Smudge, you
see.'
But he never will!' cried the parent,
with determination. R. Williams was a
Baptist, and you know, Mrs. Smudge,
that I don't lean that way. I'd sooner
call him Tom Paine
Call him Tom Paine, and I'll kill
him before he's weaned.'
you like Puritans, Mrs. Snudge.
Call him Miles Standish.'
mo, sirr Idon't want my child to
grow up with any such an outlandish
name. You called our second boy Ply
mouth Rock Smudge, and that name
will kill him before he votes. No more
Puritan Names .... .
Your tie onfoundest particular
woman ever saw retorted Smrdge.
If 1t had been girl, we would have
called her Cleopatra Octavo.' .,' .
No we Wouldn't Our fourth girl
now groans under the name Of Olympia
Tarpeia. 1t will make her be an old
maid. Let's compromise. Smudge,
You like strong name-Golish, for
instance-I, Baptist one. Let's call
the baby Roger W. Goliah Smudge.'
Put the Bible name first
Il won't do itl' .. ....... f
Then we'll call him something else.
my fathers name was Joshua Gid,
con- meekly suggested Mrs. S.
What do care IL it was? None Of
my children shall be called after your
relatives. That's settled Let us fall
back on late name -Garibaldi, for in
stance .ut. -f.
'0r Bonaparte.'
Which one?' ..r l.
Napoleon the Third a..,
No; 1 won't have him called Napo-
leon.' .-. s' .... .a.H
Then you shan't call him Garibaldi,
retorted Mrs. S., as firmly. 'Smudge,
your the thickets individual / ever liv-
ed with. You won't listen to anything
I'm reasonable-willing to listen to any,
thing you propose
Then call the boy Daniel Webster
! always admired the old statesman
Our family shan't be disgraeed by 9
Whig name
said Mrs. Smudge. Lafayette is q
great, a good name.' .r
Smudge thought; he was on the eve
of suggesting the name of the great
Frenchman himself. ... is.
He must have a middle name.'
Lafayette Williamsr said Mrs. s.
There's your old Baptist name again
tell you Roger Williams shan't, In any
form, hang to that boys coat, tall
Then you shan't call him Lafayette.
And thus the quarrelling over the
christening continued for six mortal
hours. Finally, the affair was settled
Smudge's twelfth baby is to face the
world with the simple cognomen Of
John Smudge.
.