The Arizona sentinel., 1874-04-18
MISCELLANY


 "Mine Got vat will the French man make next?' said the Dutch man the first time he saw a mOn- key.
 A Chicago cle, gvman preached a sermon in billiard saloon last Sunday. He made nineteen points.
 A female student of medicine wants 500 ito buy man to cut up." Most women can cut up a man cheaper than that.
 Two pairs of stairs are necessary to every newspaper office in North Carolina one for the editor to go down as the caller comes up the other.
 A Texan town was recently visited by a clergyman for the first time in its history, and the hOspitable inhabitants proposed getting up horse'race for his entertainment.
 A shrewd old gentleman once said to his daughter: Be sure, my dear, you never marry apOor man; but remember that the poorest man in the world is one that has money and nothing else.
 Dr. Susan Everett, in a recent lecture to ladies, made a very true remark when she called the mouth the invariable index of moral character. fit wasn't for the mouth there would be DO necessity for the female crusade against bitters; without mouth oratory would lose it force, and kissing become one of the lost arts.
 A modest young husband sent the following message over the wires to friends in this city the other day: "See ninth chapter of Isaiah. sixth verse" The dusty old Bible was hauled down in an instant, and the above chapter and verse were hunted out and found to explain all. The verse reads, "FOr unto us child is born unto us son is given.
 The American Register, of Paris speaks of the new temperance, movement in this country as t'curions and amusing illustration of the extent to which anaticism can be carried" and says that the ladies engaged in praying at sa- looms "shOw Iamentable want of dignity and self-respert, for there is no tyranny like that of fana- ticism.
 A hoy was put into a boiler in Dubuque. Iowa, to hold ham mer against the rivets that were being driven from the outside When the boiler was done the hole was found to be too small to let the boy out. They took off his clothes and greased him. but still he wouldn't go through Three hours cutting with cold chisels by six men finally released him-Dearly spelling a good boi fer.
 Kate Field has an exalted Opin- ion of American women, and places a correspondingly low esti- mate on the English females Kate isriqht Says the Brooklyn ArgIls). English girls, as a general thing, are poor trash. They measure over forty inches around the waist wear loose gaiters, eschew late hours and lily. white and enjoy a state of health that is positively vulgar.
 A lover consulted a lawyer about carving off an heiress. ''yOu must not carry her off," said the lawyer, ''hut she can carry you off Let her mount a horse and hold the bridle and whip. then you get up behind her. and let her run off with you, and then you'll be safe" The next morning the lawyer found that his daughter had run away with the same young man in the aforesaid man., ner.
 What a horrible idea is the following, considering the pres ent sensible temperance move ment :-
 "If ever marry wife,
 -I'Il marry a landlords daughter
 And then I can sit at the bar
 And drink old Bourbon and water.
 A tombstone on the YazoO, Miss, cemetery bea1s the follow ing inscription:
 ''Here lies inferred Priscilla Bird,
 Who sang on earth till sixty-twO;
 Now up on high, above the sky,
 No doubt she sings like sixty, too"
 A fellow with a pistol bullet in his left side, one inch above his heart, a six-inch slash on his head and broken leg, crawled into a Bangor, Me, doctors Of-
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