davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

When the Puritans came over.
Our hills and svsmps TO clear,
The woods were full Of catznounts.
And Indians red As deer,
with tomahavks and sezlping knives.
That made folks heads look queer
o, the ship from England used to bring
4 hundred wigs yeAri
The crows came esuing through the air,
To pluck the Pilgrims corn;
The bears came snufiing round the door,
When e'er q babe was born
The rnttlesnakes were bigger round
Than the butt of the old rams horn
The deacon blew at meeting time.
On every Sabbath morn.
Bot soon they knocked the wigwaus down.
And pine tree trunk and limb
Began TO sprout among the leaves,
In shape Of steeples slim;
And out the little whsrves were stretched
Along the oceans rim.
And up the little school-house shot,
To keep the boys IN trim
And when at length the college rose,
The sachem cooked his eye
At every tutors meagre ribs.
Whose cnattails wbistled by;
But. when the Greek and Hebrew words
Came tumbling from their Java
The unprecedented children all
Ran screaming to their squavs-
And who was on the Catalogue.
When College was beguni
Two pephevs Of the President
And The Professors son;
(They tanned little Indian boy,
As brown as any bun;)
Lord how the seniors knocked about
The freshman class of one!
They had not then the dainty things
That commons now afford
But Stceotdsh and homOny
Were smoking ON the board;
They did not rattle round In gigs.
Or dash in long-tail blues,
And always on Commencement days
The tutors BACKED their shoes.
God bless the ancient PuritansI
Their lot was hard enough;
But honest hearts made iron srms,
And tender maids are tough;
So love and faith have formed and fed
Our trueborn Yankee stuff,
And keep the kernel in the shell
The British found 80 roughl
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

THE door-bell of wealthy jew who lived up
town was loudly rung the other day, and q man
announced himself as the long absent brother Of
,ha 0,s.tsr Of the house. OF course the brothers
wsrs deiighted at meeting, though their saluta-
tions were different "Why, Joseph, where on
earth did you come from said the dweller in
- street. "Why. Shacup, is that stone in your
shirt shenuinef" asked the afectionate wander
er. After which he not only inquired after the
health IF the different members of the family, bnt
whether be had any more jewels of the same sort.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

How TO PLUCK PoULTRY.-I have known per-
sons of market-day to go ont and kill twelve or
fifteen fowls, aud to bring them INFO room
where there would be half a-dozen women and
boys pulling few feathers at time, between
the thumb and fore finger, TO prevent tearing
them. Now, for the benefit of such, give Our
plan: Hang the fowl by the feet by asmall cord;
then with small knife give one cut across the
upper jaw, opposite the corners of the mouth; at
ter the blood has stopped running q stream,
place the poiut of the knife in the groove in the
upper part of the month, run the blade up into
the back of the head, which will cause a quiv-
ering and twitching of the muscles. Now is
your time for every feather yields as if by mag
gic, and there is no danger of tearing the most
tender chick. Before he attempts to flap, you
can have him as bare as the day when he came
out of the egg.-Journal Of Horticulture.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

"Now," said she, if two of you gentlemen will
go into No. bed room and wait there few
minutes, I'll find a spare room for one of You as
soon as I've shown the others to their rooms.
Well, now, having bestowed two gentlemen in
No. 1, she put the third in No. 2, the fourth in
No. 3, fifth in No. 4, sixth in No: 5, seventh in
No. 6, eighth in No. z, ninth in No. 8, tenth in
No. g. eleventh in No. 10. She then came back
to No. 2, where you remember, she had left the
Twelfth gentleman with the first, and said: I've
now accommodated all the rest, and still have
q room to spare, so, if one of yoa will step into
No. IL, you will find it empty" Thus the twelfth
man got his bedroom. OF course there is a hole
somewhere; but we leave the reader to deter
mine exactly where the fsllacy is, with just 3
warning to think twice as to which, if any of
the travellers, was the " odd man out"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

IHE latest pew thing in legal war comes
from Illinois. The supreme court of that State
Is ,s credited with having just decided that Hbet-
Judgment rendered on q note riyen in a.vn.,,
OF such pet is valid" In the next exciting politi-
ea ., esnSass people anxious TO wager large snns
VIII, no doubt, proceed to the State WHARF tbs
sS nee1snaes and Protects the pecuniary tran
predicting what the courts of our us.tsr, e.. VI
Will next decide 70 be legal and eanitaLia e.a.es
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

At Brighton, Mass, where there is large
establishment for the slaughter of cattle, hume
rons cousumptives and other constitutional in
vaiids are now trying the blood-cure. which
consists in drinking half q tumblerful of the
warm arteriall iqnid twice day ParaIytics and
pulmonary patients are said to derive wonderful
dement, from this relapse from modern medical
Of the midle ages
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
A Mode NuIsANcE.-Tbe COMPLAINT against tbe

A NODE NUIsANcE.-The complaint against the
management of the Cincinnati Gymnasium, on
account of the nude nnissnce," reminds the
Commercial of the story of a Rochester Dutchman
who complained TO the Mayor that if the boys
didn't stop going in swimming in the river where
his daughters could see them, he would make
trouble. "Ahi Mr. Schemerhoru," replied the
Mayor, "if remember rightly, your house is half
q mile or more from the river" "Yaw, dat is So
but den you see my gals dey got spy-g glasses"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

A coLoRED preacher in Sparta, Ca, some time
ago, was heard to say in a funeral sermon of a
deceased brother:
"He Eliminates no longer among us; he have
sxonerated from de syllogisms of dis worlds dis
stream of de River Jordin, the Kerosines aud Per-
lphenes will meet him dare to row him over on
dry land to the sylrestering city.p
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

Two Irishmeu were going to fire of cannon,
and being of an economical turn of mind, they
wished to save the ball. For long time they
scratched their heads trying TO devise some plan
by which they could suit their desires. After a
few moments of silence, one of them jumped up
suddenly and ran to his shanty, and brought
therefrom huge soap kettle. Placing it directly
in front of the cannon he sat astride Of the kettle
aud exclaimed: " Touch e real aisy. Patn
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

Sailing TIMBRR.-A correspondent of the Rx-
raj Ne.e Yorker, gives his experience Is follows:
nut posts of equal size. Half of the number /
bored with an inch anger just at the top of the
ground, slopingly, eight inches deep, filled them
with salt, snd plugged them up. The first post
set was salted. next not salted, and so until all
were set. The result was the posts all failed
alike, proving to me that sailing was lost labor
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

CEMENT FOR LEATHER.-Ten parts of carbon
bisuiPhide and one part oil of tnrpentine are
mixed, and as much gutta percha added as will
readily dissolve. The surface of leather must be
once Joined should be well pressed until thew are
firmly united 10y -e
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

CESAR" said planter to his negro "climl
mp that tree aud thin out the branches" Th,
negro showed no disposition to comply, and upor
being pressed for reason, answered: "well, look
heah, massa, If go up dar an fall down and
broke my neck, dat1l be tousad dollars ont o
yen pocket. Now, why don't massa hire an Irish.
man to 60 upf and den if he falls and kills heseli
dar won't be no loss to nobody"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

The most accommodating man we ever saw
was be who was captain of steamship which
piled between New York aud Port Royal during
the war. One day soldier lost his cap over
board, and went TO the captain about it. The
old gentlemen said it was impossible to stop the
vessel TO recover it, but he kindly offered TO make
mark on the rail where it went overheard aud
get II when he came back. We saw him make
the mark ourselves, and well remember that in
all that motley crowd there was not dry eye
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

How TO FAY PoTAroEs-In reply to Mr.
Browns inquiry how to fry potatoes, / can re-
with the skins on. When cold, peel and slice
chopPing the slices slightly; have ready pan
with small quantity of butter-about one tea
spoonful to six potatoes; put in the potatoes and
brown slightly, seasoning with salt and pepper.
Just before serving, turn over them half cup
Of good cream, stir, and send to the table bo,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

4 coLoRED citizen of Natchez was boating N
grocer Of the cheapness of ten pounds of sugar
he had purchased at q rival store. "I,et ms
weigh the package" said the grocer, and it was
found two pounds shC.t. The colored gentle
man looked perplsxed for a moment, and then
said: 81 guess he didn't cheat dis chile much
while he was gttin' de sugar / stole two pair
OBJ ahoea
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

OREAsiSG WAGoNs.-yust grease enough
should be applied to the spindle of a wagon to
give 1t light coating; this is better than more.
for the snrplus put on will work out at the ends,
ana De forced BY the shoulder-bands and mt
washers into the hub and around the outside of
the boxes
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

80: a LouN9 man from the rural districts asked a
LII Ia - ,ne pai' ms week-pointing to ladies
nowT "oh," replied the friend, those Isdir. are
rising into angels, and angels, you know. don't
wear dressses; but it is no use for YOU to st,nS
watching, for It isn't probable they will rise en-.
tirely through before the dance closes.D
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

IT was at 8 party that some young ladies were
Discussing the relative benefits of the spsrrows
ana worms, whom one of the fair ones appealed
70 young Fizzletop, who had just joined them,
W nag not caught the drift Of the conversation.
ni .s 90 you think the worse, worms or spar
roWsP What did the stunid brute do bnt ;pna-
cent? Gently answer, II don't know; never had spar
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

CORRESPONDENT OF the Bee Journal plants
e1tnip along the fences and in out of the way
places where weeds ordinarily grow. for forage
iSr oees He says the bees work on it in all kinds
So weather. slight frost does not kill it as it
Srnr 1.ner towering plants, and it is in bloom
Liiad he time u hrst makes its appearance until
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

IT is related of number of eouptrv n;,,-;
who were mustered at the Station of 9; Ns
that they refused to enter some cattle trncL,
placed at their disposal. The conductor was in
fix, but the clergy came to his rrscne An -
promptu ceremonial was performed. and private
indulgence of so many days was promised 20 The
fellows who would mount the cattle trucks
The charm operated like magic; but it is stated
that the indulgence was confined to the peasan-
try.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

A RETURNED soldier at Northampton, Mass
swears that be saw the following inscription ON
brown slab above the grave of deceased wife
10 the White River region of Arkansas during
bis campaigns:
she washed the children, fed the fowls
Aud made her home resound with bowls
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

You cannot taste in the dark, /" said lecturer
Nature has intended to see our food /"
Ihen," inquired forward pupil, "how about
blind man at dinnerf" Mature, sir,r answer
90 the professor, "has provided him with eye
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
Che flu of the Ching.
~ Bird HE Vas GONE DIED

I had Won dime leedle bird,
Mid feeders Of der yallered Green,
Md suck dop-kDod on his bead,
He wa der nicssed efer seen;
BE use TO shdood ub on hls perch,
Und visslc ind sing der hole dag long.
Und den jump down ind cad some seed,
Ven he got drough NIT his nice song.
I use 70 always cadch him flies,
venever dere vas some flies around;
U1d ven dere wasn't, I gifs him worms,
Dot lsefs In holes way down der Ground
] use 70 led him out his cage;
Voodn't he had some dimes denf
Ven be vas dried nit ayins round,
he always wood vent back agtn-
used TO hung him In der sun,
Und pud some water In powi,
Und den you ouzhd to saw him voneei.
You ouahd 70 saw him dwist und roll,
Und fop dot vxter oct dot cage;
BE used TO had some bully fun,
But be wood nd bad no fun some more.
Cause ali his pleasures dem va zone.
Yes, dot boor bird be vas gone died;,
Dot makes my heart feel kinder sac.
Cause When I look ub nd dot cage.
I dfnk Of dot bird used 70 had,
ShtiIl dink dough he vas 6edoer On
Den Of be ahdaid . Life init me-
Und I'm sure he's ub IN PARADISE.
A vissling soneding on > ofe
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

10 REMOVE STAINS FROM MArTRAssEs.-Make
S .nacs paste by wetting starch with cold water.
pasaa tn,s on the stain. first putting the mat
~ las 10 tne sun. RIB this of after an hour or
ss,;n nu the ticking is not clean. try the process
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

A religious contemporary has discovered the
style Of tho first parents. He said, Madam, Pm
Adam, = TO which she replied, Adam, Pm mad
sm."
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

THE last case of Incidence is related -
our exehanges-it is that of a man namad oI I, oi
Hole, who was so lazy that in writing his nsma
ne simmply used the letter j., and then punched
q hole through the paper.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

The old plantation way of cooking hoe cake ia
elegantly described in the negro melody, thrs:
de way dey bake de hoecake
In Ole Virginia-nebsr tire
Dey put de dough upon de fcct,
Aud hO'd il 10 de ireH
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

Mr.. 0SHEA says the reason no Irish are men
toned in accounts Of the ioed is that there were
none in the ark, the Irish being wealthy at that
time, and having boat of their own.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

Hor alum water is a recent suggestion Of an
.-sI. II will destroy red and black ants,
ins a spiders. chintz bags, and All crawl
"s Pests esch infest our houses.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
Il these Stories win be splendidly Illustrated.
".JssIMYJomN SCORyES.-

by MIS- ABBY MORTON DIAZ,
Author Of The William Henry Letters William Henry
and His Friends Gnd Lucy Maria (who has the rare
and happy gift OF knowing how delight young p@ope
WILL APPEAR DURING THH There will also be shor-
ter stories, Paper. on Science and History Nair-
raj History. Wild Sports and Adventures sketches
Of Travel Fairy Tales Poems Puzzles Charades Jng.
les Fun and Fancy Instruction Entertainment and De-
light Something for all, from Father and Mother TO
the BABY The Illustrations will he the that the
Artists Of two continents supply. and will be printed
with the greatest care.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

80 a 49, ~ Hecs: "oue of the sights at the
traek after me races yesterday Afternoon wss
sOdh na. on the paving around
(hic) Of (hic) my friendfn De'n sns'hing
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

The various gray-haired sires of the land, as
they approach the brink Of their several years,
look with envy upon the number of each others
years. and, seeing it, 20 Q score better.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

80 married man goes to roost on an ash
81 s under the stoop from one o'clock g. m un.
liz ~ instead of seeking his own comfort
something is the matter With his nigbt.k.v '"A'
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

INTERESTING To HoRIcutrJrp,s-s
charcoal, placed around rose-busbes ~ o.hea
flowers, has the effect of adding greatly 20 ne.
richness Of the eolors. ~ tue
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
PROSPECTUS FOR 1874.
SEVENTH YEAR
THE ALDINE:

An Illustrated Monthly Journal wnirersally admit
tea 70 be the Handsomest Periodical in the
World. a Representative and ChGmpi-
on of American Taste
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

is TO be permanent feature of the magazine Jack will
tell some Of the most curious things and
himself generally entertaining.
We have undertaken make the best gazine possible
for the little folks well those who are older Every
number OF St. Niehoies will contain good reading mat
Ter for boys and girls Of all Decides great deal
hearty and innocent fun.
Christmas comes but once year. but So. Nicholas,
the new magazine for girls and boys every mouth
IL has already the hearts Of the Young folks and The
Little Children are Crying for 30. Nicholas.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
Asefnl aud Curious.


There is story of how chambernaid got
twelve commercial travellers into eleven bed
rooms, and yet to have given each q separate
room. Here we have eleven bedrooms.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

MONTHLY $500 sTEah4EvAnS BILLHEADs, ENVELOPES
e1eed m lbs hes stre Al h -. and al soeh work
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

WHISKY As A MEDICINR.-Those who are ac-
customed to the use of :" good old Irish whisky"
for certain physical malades With which they
are afflicted, may be interested in the informa-
ton that Dr. Hodges, of Belfast, has recently
had occasion to analyze several samples of "whs-
ky,n and has published the results of his examina-
ton in one Of the Dublin papers. A bottle of
whisky described as fair sample of the drink
sold in low class public houses was, on examina-
ton, found to be heavily adulterated with nap
tina, cayenne pepper, and vitriol. Another SAM
pie was composed almost entirely of naptha,
slightly colored with genuine whisky; and
third delectable compound had not even a colo
ring of the genuine spirit, being pleasing COM
binaton of cayenne pepper, oil of vitriol, alcohol.
and sulphate of copper, which could be produced
by any amateur chemist at the rate of one penny
per gallon. The physical results to the consul
sumers of such decoction can be imagined.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
0nr Strip gook.
Br OLIVER wExDEIL HOLMES.

A SONG.
For the Centennial Celebration Of Harvard COL
lege-
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

PASTE FOR WALL PAPER.-In FASTING wall pa
pers. ETC., especially where successive papers are
put on, there arises most disgreeable efhuvium,
which is particularly noticeable in damp wealth
er The cause of this is the decomposition of
the paste. In close rooms it is very unwhole-
some, and often the cause of disease. In large
manufactures where quantities of paste are
used il becomes sour and offensive. Glue, also,
has a very disagreeable odor. If, when making
paste or glue, small quantity of carbolic acid is
added, it will keep sweet and free from offensive
smells. A few drops added TO ink or mncilage
prevents mold. In whitewashing the cellar and
dairy, if an ounce of earbolic acid is added to
EACH gallon of wash, it will prevent mold and
the disagreeable taints often perceived in meat
and milk from dark apartments. Another great
advantage in the use of carbole acids in paste
for wall paper and in whitewash, is, that it will
The cheapest and best form of carboie acid is in
crystals which dissolve in water or liquify at
an excess of temperature.-Americdn Homestead.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

wzxS is man not mani when he is a-sed
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
FOR VERY LITTLE FOLKS,
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

Our pages In big type and easy words for the
readers which have been "a hit from the first win be
continued The children will be glad to know also
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
We Want 100000 Children and Youth Made B,Dpv

we Want 100000 Children and Youth Made HaVpY
BY ST. NICHOLAS AT THE HOLIDAYS
St. Nicholas. enlarged contains eue-tbird mar,
variety for ALL With its great Lterary and Prtorsi
AIactions and its beautiful Printing il will be found 10
DO 'he cheapest Magazine In the World
Scscsirnos PRICE, % YEAR. TIE TWO BACK Nun.
nsso fok NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER II WILL BIZ SENT TO
II. sCsscsisERs FoR "a WITHOUT ADDITIONAL CHARGE
rosE MONTHS FOR ONE DOLLAR; IS cTs- NUMBzk
sALx AID SUBSCRIPTIONS REcErvEp BIT ALL BooKsEI,
LIES q NEWS DEALERS Of THE ABOVE Trims
may be sent 10 In checks payable 70 our our
groer or In Post Office Money Orders or IN registered
rtsS money IN Letters not Registered at senderis
sCRIBNER IL Co,
eSA Broadway, New Work.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12
"FAST FRIENDS"

I5N j. T. ILUN BIIDJE,
One Of the most popHlor wrrs for young ks in Amer
ca READERS of Jack Hazard A Chance for Himself
and Doing his Best" will understand what a captal
treat is in store for them in Mr. Trowbrdge new story
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1874-03-12

sSa Broadway, New Work.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-10-02
yAIETIES.

"A man in Boston in his hurry to assist
fainting lady, got a bottle of mucilage
instead of canphor and bathed her face
with it. She was good deal stuck up
with his attention.
The editor of a country paper, having
received bank-note detector, returns
thanks, and modestly -sks for sone bank
notes upon whish to test its accuracy.
The manager of country theatre,
peeping through the curtain between the
acts, was surprised By glimpse of the
empty benches. "Why, good gracious p
said he, turning to the prompter, "where
is the audience 2" "Hr Just stepped out
to get mug of beer" vas the brief reply.
"A young butcher, who was counting
q girl with matrimonial intentions, asked
her if she could make lard. She replied
that she could "try." His proposal was
not interlarded with unnecessary words,
and her answer "renders' q wedding trous-
seau necessary. The young butcher will
"dress to KILL" Of course.
"A while ago farmer in Virginia lost
his wife, and out of love for her memory
called his estate "Glerluary." A neighbour
having met with the yome aflliction, and
equally DESTROYS of }.eeping before him
the image of his dear departed, followed
his example, and his farm is known by the
name of "Glenbetsey:"