The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-05-27
MY DEAF WIFE AND AUNT.

] had an aunt coming to visit me
for the first time since my marriage,
and I don't know what evil genius
prompted the wickedness which l
perpetrated towards my wife and an
cient relation;
my DEAR" said / to my wife on
the day before my aunt's arrival,
you know Aunt Mary is coming to
morrow; well, I forgot to mention
rather annoying circumstance in re-
gard to her. She is very deaf; and
although she can hear my voice, yet
you will be obliged to speak extreme
ly loud in order to be heard. 1t will
be rather inconvenient, but / know
you will do everything in your power
to make her agreeable
Mrs----- announced her deter
mination to make herself heard, if in
her power.
l then went to John N who loves
a joke about as we'll as any person l
know of, and told him to be in the
house at Up. M, On the following
evening, and felt comparatively hap
Ply.
Invent to the railroad depot with a
carriage next night, and when l was
on my way home with my aunt I
said
"My dear aunt, there is one rather
annoying inirmity that Annie my
wife has, which l forgot to mention
before. She is very deaf, and al
though she can hear my voice, to
which she is accustomed, in its Or
binary tones, yet you will be obliged
to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. am sorry for it.
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart protested that she rather liked
speaking loud, and to do so would
afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the
steps was my wife-in the window
was john N, with face as ut
terly solemn as if he had buried his
relatives that afternoon.
Il am delighted to see YOU
shrieked my wife, and the policeman
on the opposite sidewalks started
and my aunt nearly fell down the
steps.
, kiss me my DEAR bawled my
aunt; and the windows shook as i
with the fever and ague, l looked al
the window; John had disappeared
: Human nature could stand it no long
f or, poked my head into strong con
:. vulsions.
y When I entered the parlor my wifi
was helping Aunt Mary to take Of
d her hat and cape; and there sat JOIN
e with his face buried in his handker
chief.
J. Suddenly-"Did you have pleas
l. ant journey?"went off my wife lfk
a pistol and John nearly jumped t
h his feet.
IS "Rather dusty" was the respons
$. in war whoop; and the converse
e ton continued.
Sc The neighbors for blocks aroun
must have heard it: when l was i
IS the thru story of the building
d heard every word.
In the course of the evening m
If aunt took occasion to say to me-
TO "How loud your wife talks!'
t. I told her deaf persons talked lout
j. ly, and that my wife being used
n. me, was not affected by the exertio
is and that she was getting along vel
IS nicely with her.
Presently my wife said softly
r "Ah, how very loud your au,
n talks!'
n "Yes," said I ''all deaf persons, d
You're getting along with her finel,
y, she hears every word you say Al
S / rather think she did.
or Elated at their success Of belt
II. understood, they went it hamm
N, and tongs, till everything upon Il
IS. mantlepiece clattered again, and
er was seriously afraid offs crowd &C
ri lecting in front Of the house.
'e. But the end was near. My au
a being of an investigating turn
al, mind, was DESTROYS of finding O
n whether the exertion of talking W
ne injurious to my wife. So.-
Doesn't talking so loud stra
n your lungs?" said she, in an uneart
lot ly hoop, for her voice was not as m
ell steal as it was when she was young
DIS at is al exertion," shrieked L
en- wife.