The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1874-02-18
Grunge Secrets RCYCaItd-Ilow lnitia.
tOnS arc Conducted.

On being brought into the ante
room of tho Lodge, (Greengroco
Temple, No. 1919 I was told that
had been ballotcd for and accepted
My informant, who was securely
masked by what I afterwards learn
ed was a large burdock leaf pclfora
ted with holes for the eyes, told me
that if valued my life it would be
necessary for me to strip. AS. Z did
consider that considerable worth tc
me, aud rs he italiciscd his wishes
by carelessly playing with q seven.
shooter, l withdrew from my gar.
mcnts with oagerncss. My masked
friend then furnished me with the
rcgaliaH of the first degree, called
"rhe Festive Ploughboy," which
consisted merely of ono large cab.
bagc leaf attached to,a waist band of
potato vines. In this airy costume
was conducted to the door, where my
companion gave three distinct raps.
q was securely bliud-foidcd,by bind
ing slice of ruta-bag ovor each
eyc.) A sepulchrul voice from with
in asked "Who comes 2"
"My guido answered :, "a youth
full agrioulturist who desires to be.
come n grangcrs' .
Sepulchral voicc-IIave you look.
cd him carefully over
Guide Il have noble gate-keepor.
S. F.-Do you, fnd any agricultu-
raj marks about his person
Guiho--I do.
S. V.-What arc they7
Guide-Thc candidate has carrot
ty Lair, reddish whiskers and turned
up nose. y
S: Wits we'll. Why do you
desire to become granger ?
Guide answering for oandidatc)-
that may be thereby the better
enabled to harrow up the feelings of
the rascally politicians. y
| 5. N.-You will bring in the, oan-
didate. N.Y. worthy stripping, as
you cannot see, | will cause you to
feel that you are received at the door
on the three points of II pitcbfork,
piercing the region Of the stomach,
which is to teach you the three great
virtues-faith, hope and charity.
Faith in yourself, hope for cheaper
farm machinery, and charity for tho
ightning-rod peddler. You will
now be harnesseL, and in representa-
ton of the horse ReGasus, will he
tested as to endurance and wind.
The candidate is here attached to
small imitation plow by means of
hempen '-rncss. ~ dried pumpkin
vine is put in his mouth for a bit and
bride : he is.madc to get down upon
all>fours, the guide scixcs the bride,
and u'gcd on by granger armed with
Canada thistle the candidate is gal.
lopcd three times around tho room
While making the circuit, the nom.
bers arise and sing -.
Get up and dust you belly boy.
VIII" wouldn't be n granger Z? 49,
If The thistlc's prick dent cause you Joy,
10 feeling you must DO cstrengcd, ch!
After this violent exercise, he Is
rubbed dry with corn .cobs, bees,
waxed where thiStlcd, and brought
standing up before tho great, chief
the Most Worshipful Pumpkinhead.
NJ. ". p. U.-Why do you desire
to be granger -;
Candidate, answering for himself,)
That | may learn. to cxtinguish
sewing machine agents.
Nj. W.P. H..-IIavo your hands
been hardened with toll
Candidatc--Not extensively, but
then ] am not running for office.
A. w. p. lI.-'Tis well, for our
lodges contain several who are sup.
posed to he ready to sacrifice them.
selves for The good of their constitu-
! ents.
NJ. w. p. II. (savagelyj-Givo me
a chaw of tobacco
Candidate, searching himself thor
oughly, but as there is no place about
him to stick II pocket, trios to explain,
but the Most 'Wo"shipful Pumpkin
head interrupts him with
"Nevcr mind, my dear young
friend. | am we'll aware that in your
present condition you en- no more
furnish your friend with tho weed
than Adam could DO con Portable in
plug-bat and tight boots. 1t is mere
~ to teach you the great lesson of
economy-doing'to others as you d
like to have them do to you:' You will
now be conducted to the Most Emil
ncnt SquashSproduoer, who will toach
you the grand .hai' ling signs of dis
ross. Ih Q sign,my worthy brothcr, r,
will insure you against most Of the ills
of the agriculturist-amongst others,
against troughts. and being bit by
tho ferocious, grasshoppcr."
The candidate is now conducted to
the Most Eminent Squash Producer,
who says: 'My worthy brother, 1
will now invost you with the
order Of tho Festive Ploughboy,
which you have we'll won by your hero.
ic achievement while harncssed
may you ever wear it with pleasure
to yourself, and may it be means of
70 n rnnr apon,;oo ~