, 1874-01-31
HU1IOR.

HuEIoR.
A singular instance OF sttcpticjam is recorded
in tho caHe Of u lnan who snid the blhlo was "too
good to be truo."
Tho Morristown (ronn.) Herald gives this
definition Of christmas grecua:" "Editora who
give fye-doliar puff for dollar-and-a-half tur
koy."
An unmarried man died recently near Dos
ton' eged 80 yoars, &c, grad,nse 4I Of Harvard with
diploma, n bachelor by cclilacy, md bachelor by
nnnc. Grim Doatl at one fell Bwoop swept OH
tho whole batch.
--Ta1l<ing about upsctting sleghs, Wicks re-
marked to young Indy ho was taking Ont to
drive, - always pick ont the aoftest place can
when upset my sleigh" She replied. Why, I
ahould %! think it would grow monotonous, always
falling on your head"
"A sarcastic gentleman was Mr.. Van Dyke. Of
Now Hampshire, who, leaving sti0,000 to his
heirs, hoped mono OF thom "wonld snufilo and
sled crocodile tears ut hiB funeral" "Coyor
INC up" said tho dying LOCATOR, " aud thou hurry
home to fight over my money"
Within the Inst three months tho President
has appointed thirty PoBtnlistrnsses. The con-
sequences might hayo beoM anticipated. Twenty
sovon OF them ha'o already notified their HIS
bands TINT their services arc no longer required.
-Erooklyn 4irgus.
We arc willing to bolieyo that California
minor fond of whisky took a drink by mistake OF
quicksilver but We arc not willing to belioyo i'll
tho accompanying statement, that "Tlo miner
mus a Es to na hon Sio into On
Tho San francisco Ne,es Letter has settled
1t that Isaiah was MI 1rishman. Its reasoning il
as follows: "Wo think there is internal evi-
denco enough to demonstrate to the satisfaction
Of any candid render tint Isaiah was MI Irish
man. Take q single example [1saiah xxxvii, $50,
And when they arose early in the morning thoyi
wore all dead corpsos.'
"a scrmouizcr with high forehead made
these remarks upon tho soul-Having question:
"Ay brcthren, man cannot afford to loso his
soul. Hos got but one: and he can't got NIL
other. II a man loses Ills horse. he can got an-
othor; ii a man losoa his vito, he cnn got
another it le losoe his child, ho can got an-
other but If no loses his Boul-good-bye JoLn."
--6o1ne uBcfuI lesson or example mnY bo
found IN tho most simple occurrences. at the
tempted to got Off whilo tho cars were in mo-
ton. gentleman standing Mt the door pro-
vented her. LET hor go,'' exclaimed kind
%arns 70 saSebos ose se R0S killed 1t vi" be
"a waiter in st. Louis restaurant WAS asked
for toothpiolz by ono Of tho patrons-ha Ind
just finished . bowl Of oyster soup. a'.What do
o yG@ Tst sa @ tGospff the waG @
from my teeth" 0, no. you don't! TAore was
only one oyster in tlat soup, and ate that on
my way from the kitchon !"
scotchman making his way homo OH bright
Sunday morning, wl,on tho good folk wero woud-
ing tlioir way to the kirk. A. little dog pulled
tho ribbon from tho hand Of q lady who wns
leading 1t, and aa it ran away from hor she ap-
poaed 10 tho first pasaer by, asking him to whis-
lie for her poodle. Woman" ho retorted with
tint solomnty Of visago which only drunken
scotehman call assume, Woman, this il not
day for whiBtlln'.8
"A csoss-oyed men cast gloom over Do
troit car by asking ono Of tho Beycn mon, and
strangers. OH tho opposite Aeat, "1f he had
strangers looked at eaol otl,er.- Tlon the soyon
hal,ds went pocketward and, observing this
motion. each Of tho Heyon supposed hfh nolgl,-
bor tho ono spoken to, and tho savon handa
returned empty. Tha cross-oyod man oast
rlcocho. glance Of indignation along the limo,
Of generous roosters," took u chow Of Lis own
tobAoco.
AT school examination all eloquent clergy
man made . brief aGdress to tho pupils Of tho
necessity Of olloying tlloir toaohorH and growing
up ioyal aud uAoful citizens. 10 ompllaBtzo llia
spread on one side of. tho roam, and inquired,
FBoys, what il TINT flag for ?" littlo tirehi.,,
who understood tue condition OF tue llo1lae bot
tor than tha 13 spessor' p promptly answered. ITO
afaeo ea u o9 de9foez
loss, shiftloas, and intoorably lazy, the duugh-
ters OF which were accustomed to SO barefoot
till tho soles Of their foet becatno hard as Iron,
and then tolls tllia story' "one of these young
ladies', OH coming home ono day from 2 long
tramp in tho rain aftor tue cowu, was standing o
mo.hor drawletl ONT, Sal, tllur's s-a-liye-coal--
anslor-yor+ foot.' Ti,s girl slightly tlirnol hor
hoaa, and arawlea baok: Which-foot, Maul-
my2"