Middletown transcript., 1874-08-08
gtlrtt STORY.
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

lnat was Pheasant ueVlce Wnlcn olu
Mr.. Dusenbury employed to rid his berry
patch of robins. Having formerly been
clothier, he 6shed from his garret dilap-
idated old dummy which had once seen
better days and clothes, and turned the
susceptible heart Of many near sighted
damsel and rigging some arms upon it
he clad it in faded garments, cooked dis
reputable looking hat on its head, and
stood it up in the middle of his patch.
His fabetious neighbor on the right,
having noticed his ingenious contrivance,
conceived the idea of removing it from
Dusenbury's garden and secretly placing
it in the garden of the neighbor- -on-the-
left, who was likewise in state of chronic
madness on account Of the nightly depre
dations of robins. This done, the neigh
boron -the-right, after kicking up rum
pas sufficient to disturb the sleep of
mummy, hid himself behind tree near
by aud awaited developments. The
neighbor-on -the-left came prancing out,
and marching furiously up to the dummy,
exclaimed:
" You thieving old rascal, Joe Peasley.
I've got you now I'll fix you, you infer
nal scoundrel What dye mean by steal
ing into my garden at this hour Of night,
you low-lved, white livered, uuderhanded
old blackguard :"
The neighbor- -the-right, behind the
tree, instead of enjoying this, jumped up
and down in distress and anger. 1t was
not pleasant to be mistaken for scare
crow and accused of stealing garden sauce
at the same time. His name was Joseph
Peasley, and he was the individual refer
red to-
The dummy said nothing. A gentle
breeze from the east turned it half around,
neighbor- -on-the left continued:
3" know you, you ole scoundril. You
needn't pull your hat down over yer eyes.
saws yer, and | knows yer. Ha ha :!
you mizzable sneak. Now you'll dance
to me. darn yer"
WHO is it?" shrieked the injured
neighbor's wife, tripping out in her night
gown.
Who is it?" yelled back her hus-
band, warming up by the reinforcement,
for he was getting out of breath; " Joe
Peasley. blast his picture, the consum-
mernit ole hog
O-o-o-o-h, Joe Peasley you mean,
dishonest sneakn' thing" struck up the
woman, shaking her fist at the innocent
form, "to think that you'd be caught a
steaIin' my husbands garden sass. l
knowed you was mean man when you
turned your wife outdoors and whipped
your little baby to death, and stoned
your poor old grandmother, and pizened
Uncle Dusenbury's hens, and now you're
stealin' garden sass, and you're ketched,
and you'll be hung. | wish l had my
hands on your face, I'd scratch your wick
ed ole head off,"
This must have been pleasant for Peas
ley behind the tree.
:" See how he hangs his head !" she ad-
ded, triumphantly
~ should think he'd hang the whole
length of him." rejoined her husband.
why don't you speak, you thievin' ole
blaggard? Haint you got no tongue or,
sense or manners nor nothin'-wheelin
around as if you wuz hung on springs? "
What's the matter?" inquired a
strange voice, which proved to be the
parsons ?"
Matter /" shrieked the angry man at
the newcomer, "matter enough | think.
I've caught Joe Peasley picking my
melons and pullin' my cabbages up. See
the sneakin' burglar |" fiendishly he cried,
pointing at the form. "Pve a notion to
punch the stufin' out Of him."
VUnfortunatsly for Mr.. Peasley's repu-
tation, balmy zephyr turned the figure
slowly about in quiet manner.
Joseph" put in the pious man, ad-
dressing the scare-crow mournfully, 9"
am grieved to find you thus circumstanced.
1t pains me deeply to see this damning
evidence of your guilt. Remember, how
ever, my friend, that there is even repen-
tance OF the eleventh hour"
Nearer half-past twelve" snarled
neil eighbor-on-the-left
At this point another party appeared.