The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1874-09-21
Smelling the Butter.

6ultllluk hb DutlcIs
An athletic individual wns noticed
sliding along Montgomery street, San
Francisco, lately, with an anxious eye
peerihg induisifyely into the window
OF every eating.house which he passed.
He was evidently q man whose choice
in astronomical matters was governed
solely by the quantity Of meat, yegeta-
bles and liquids given in exchange for
q stipulated sum. Finally, he appeared
to be satisfied with the Inducements
held out in long bill OF fare which,
tackled to carcass Of mutton In front
OF window, duttered In the breeze,
and informed the hunger.hatntcd pass.
er.by that four dishes could be had
within for twenty-five cents.
The man went in, and in few mo-
ments was tackling slim meal with
vigorous ayidity After finishing his
allotted four plates, with the exception
OF few slices Of bread, his eye fell
upon small plato Of butter, which, in
his hurry, he had evidently not noticed
before. He was about to plunge his
knife into the butter, when something
in its appearance caused him to pause,
and while pausing, he took occasion to
reflect. Suddenly he reached forward,
and, taking the small butter-plate be.
tween his finger and thumb, he held II
toward the light and examined Its con.
tents for nearly q minute. He next
held II to his nose and snuffed its SAVIOR
three successive times, with puzzled
expression OF countenance.
all this time tho restaurant keeper
was standing Immediately behind the
butter nnalyzer, watching him atten.
lively, and his fsce was indicative OF
rage and disgust.
"Perhaps you don't like that butter?"
was his first remark, semi.interroga.
lively.
The man at the table simply laid
down the butter, and turned round
with an in1uiring expression on his
visage; but he said nothing.
"Perhaps you don't like that butterl"
yelled the restaurant man, in some.
what sayugely explanatory tone.
az don't know, as yet-the fact is, l
haven't tried it.
"Wall, you looked at it as II you
thought something was the matter with
it. Now, Il you have got any remarks
to make about TINT butter, you can
make 'em right here" "
~ was simply examining the Pc
culiar appearance Of the oleaginous
compound" replied the man at the
table aud he spoke with exasperating
precision and coolness. "rhose blue
atreaks impart TO tho article q yarie'
gated appearance which somewhat OK.
cite my curiosity. Blue streaks, ]
believe, are considered o novelty In
butter are they not2"
The restaurant keeper was somewhat
taken aback by the calm reply OF the
other, but recovered himself sufficiently
to remark:
"Blue streaks are always in good
butter at this season Of the year. You
must be one Of those up.county luna.
tics, not to know that"
He paused for moment and then
resumed in threatening manner:
lyon must understand that don't
allow no man TO come to this restaurant
and 20 snufflu' around tho butter; no
well.bred man Ill do IT.
l approximated that butter to my
nose simply to ascertain II those blue
streaks make any particular difference
in the smell. think that the streaka
make no very remarkable difference in
the smell ; in fact, / nm OF the opinion
that IL any difference at oil is occas'
toned, IL Is actually for the better. As
far as smelling the butter is concerned,
hold that, having paid for the article,
have perfect right to smell OF 1t, and
Should do so again II thought 1t at al
necessary; but do not think 1t Is. ]
Bmelled that greasy substance in this
instance merely TO ascertain II it was
the new article OF commerce called
eleomargarine, and having thus ar
rived at q satisfactory conclusion in re
gard to the matter, l shall have no 90
casion to smell Of II again."
Here the frigid customer deposited {
quarter upon the table and turned X
Before he could reach the door, how
ever, the restaurant keeper, excited t
IN uncomfortable pitch Of frenzy by tht
speakers last remarks, yelled yocifer
ously: fNl uI
nft's IN internal lie keep mont
OF your bull butter in this house. Yor
lie II you say so, sirl I can lick the
man who says SO, sir | I can lick him
not0i" and he smote his guest upor
the nose.
In another instant the guest, forti
fed, doubtless, by his recent substan
tial meal, launched his right between
the others eyes and landed him under
the nearest table, stunned and sense
less. There was o clash Of plates, Q
rattle OF steel forks and o dash Of but
ter dishes accompanying the lasl
vancouver, but still the restaurant
keeper lay without apparent life OF
motion. & .aU
The guest surveyed him for q mo,
ment, and then lifting the plate Of but.
ter for fourth time to his nose, smell
II deliberately, laid II down, and de-
parted, remarking, as he went out
ut is oleomargarine, and no mistakel
A Home Maker.