The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1874-12-04
HOTEL CLERKS.

though this is perhaps too sweeping,
for those persons who, by SOM fortu-
nate fate, have made the acquaintance
of those officials, actually know them
intimately, and do not hesitate to call
them by their Christian names !; to even
abbreviate the latter, cutting "Thomas'
into "Tom" and alexander" into
"Alick," or to slap them on the back
with, Chow are you, old boy?" that
fairly makes the blood of an ordinary
traveller curdle with apprehension. We
once knew a man who had a philosophy
about hotel clerks. "Now, mind" said
he, elf you want attention in a hotel,
never try to play the mild and good-na-
tured gentleman. Be gruff. Speak In
a loud tone and as if you were accus-
toned to command a regiment of slaves,
and of speaking so that the whole bat
TALON could hear you at once and dis
tinctly."' We never quite agreed with
that man, and yet it was surprising how
attentive everybody about a public
house became when he entered and
opened his mouth.
There is a deal of difference between
the hotel in America and in France. In
the latter country, as a writer very truly
says:
Your lishtest wish is a law to your land
lord. Your whim is made as much Of a.
though it WAS the most important matter in
the world. Your landlaay. the concierge, the
femme de chdmbre, Jean. who waits on you at
the table, jacques. who polishes your shoes
all seem to exist for no other purpose than to
anticipate your slightest wish, to see only that
you are supremely happy. Nothing that you
NAV want seems extravsgant. You come home
at 3 o'clock in the morning, and there ID walt
ing for you the smiling concierge, and may
haps the buxom hostess herself, who rush to
the door to meet you, to assist You to descend,
to side with you, and explain. if you have any
difficulty with the cocher and then who are
ready with the lighted candle and a half-hun-
dred pleasant good-nights for you rs you
ascend the stairway to your room
An official of an American hotel VINO
behaved in the above manner would be
looked upon as a l%unatic, and would
probably be discharged on the spot. OF
course, in our vast caravansaries, We do
not expect that the hostess will be
around looking after guests but how
about a welcome word, a cheerful good
night, or a nod of recognition, to show
a traveller that he is not exactly regard
ed rs an alien enemy taking up quarters
in the house III ct armis? Here is about
the way it goes in one of our American
establishments
Time, 11:30 p. m. Scene, office OF
hotel. Enter dusty, worm and weary
traveller with a bag and umbrella.
Clerk, with pen behind his ear, hair
freshly curled, mustache waxed, spot
less linen, and a strong odor Of musk.
He is talking to the b~ookkeeper. Hear
ing the bag and umbrella deposited on
the counter, he turns, after lingering n
moment for a word or two more, and
faces the traveller, reversing the register
as he does SO, and looking bored.
Traveller" Did Mr.. Panhandle ar
rive to-day, do you know?"
Clerk-(Who at the moment the trav-
eler speaks has had his attention di-
rected to the wine man at the other side
of the Office, and has stepped over there,
but returns.) "What dye say?"
Traveler-"Is Panhandle, Of Louis
vile, here 2"
Clerk-CTo the wine nan, who hae
said something's well, let it b
then till Tomorrow" CTo the travelerl.
"Mr. Hammill? Where's he from 2"
Traveller Mr.. Panhandle, of
Louisville"
Clerk-(Looks v record "No."
Traveller Registering) whats the
first train wei the Alton and St. Louis
in the morning."
Clerk-"Nlne a. M, sir. Wish to go
to your room? ?"
Traveller" Yes"
Clelk-(Snaps his finger and whistles
to the bell-boy) "Show the gentleman
to 1000"
The traveller has an impression by
this time that if he should die in the
night he would slumber for ages in that
vast house, leaving his friends ignor-
ant of his mysterious fate. In the
morning he goes down to take his leave,
and the following c~olloquy occurs:
Traveller" What's my bill 2"