The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-08-14

A Vermont debating cIuD IS now
struggling with thequestion. (Which
eats the most chickens-ministers or
fowls2"
II come to steal, as the rat OBJ
served to the trap. rAnd | spring
to embrace you" as the trap replied
to the rat.
Paris is to have q cheap trst-class
theatre, with the best seats at forty
cents or ten cents extra for having
them reserved.
A malicious person saysthat cotton
sheets and newspaper sheets are alike
in the respect that great many
people lie in them,
Josh Billings says, "success don't
konsist in never making blundera
but in never making the sameblun-
der a seckond time.
A daughter of the hero Of San
Jacinto is poetess Of whom Texas
is disposed to feel proud. Her namo
is Nettie Power Houston.
Although our financial editor says
there is plenty of money in the city,
everybody is anxious to get into the
country for little change.
The Spragues are under cloud
yet, and it isn't necessary to have a
pass from one of them in order to
travel across Rhode Island.
! A Philadelphia gentleman adver-
tises o soap that is destined to wipe
out the national debt, There is
probably some "lye" aboutit.
The Peoria woman who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands
grave few months ago has just
married lightning rod man.
A mother advised her daughter to
oil her hair, and tainted away when
the damsel replied, "Oh, no, ma, it
spoils the gentlemen's vests"
Two young ladies holding converse
over q new dress-"And does it fit
well?" asked one. eft? Yes; as ii [
had been melted and poured in.
Another discovery Of rich gold
veins near Dahlonega, G., wherin
the ore is said to be rich and in i'm
! mense quantities, has just been made.
A Madison butcher recently found
large shawl pin in COW he was
cutting up in to steaks 1t is sup
posed the animal had swallowed
milk maid.
A Wisconsin clergyman has been
found guilty by a church council of
! mot always handling the truth with
sufficient carefulness to meet the de-
mands Of veracity."
A little boy heard his mother tell
Of eighteen head of cattle being
t burnt the other night weren't
| their tails burnt, also?" inquired the
4 verdant youth.
-Four persons we're killed at Port
s Jefferson, Long Island, at the launch
t ing of schooner, by the falling Of
9 timbers, on the 18th inst, -Four
g others were dangerously injured.
|
7 Il. G.. Smith, who erected for tho
J late Prof. Morse his first line Of tel
. egraph poles in this country between
y Washington and Baltimore in 1874,
. died lately at his residence in New
field, Maine.
4 Six hundred Mennonites landed at
" Castle Garden on the 18th OF July,
and started for the West. Their
several points. of destination were
4 Atchison, Kansas; Elkhart, Ind, and
q Yankton, Dakota.
l. The night express on the Richmond
d & Cincinnati railroad was thrown
y from the track on the night Of the
n 18th by misplaced switch, but only
l. one person was seriously hurt. 1t is
n believed that robbery was intended.
IS II believe that mine will bo the
!. fate of Abel, said devoted wife to
y her husband one day. "How SOP
o replied her husband. because
D Abel was killed by club. and your
G. club will kill me if you continue to
ot go to it every night"
g. A married lady who was in the
10 habit of spending most of her time In
" the society Of her noighbors, hap
le pened to be taken i'll, and sent her
t, husband ip great haste for physi-
n clan. The husband ran short dis
g tance, and then returned, exclaim-
10 ing, "my dear, where shall | find
l. you when come back?"
G. g. A clergyman being applied to, in
y less than year after his appoint
< ! ment, to put q stove in the church,
! i asked how long his predecessor had
!" been there, and when answered
- twelve years" he said: "Well, you
never had fire in the church during
that timer" "No, sir" replied the
in applicant, "'but we had fire. in the
n pulpit time"
u Self-respect- Cook(to fellow sery
r. ant who has been after new place)
70 "Well, Liza, will it suit?' Eliza
f. "Not il l knows It'll Why, when
n n got there, blest il there wasn't the
e e two young ladies Of tho 'ouse both a
10 using of one piano at the same-timo
o. Well, thinks I, this his. a comm
"a down in the world So / thoug h
10 70 had best say good morninY'
of An alleged lunatic was consi gnod
gn to an asylum by his wife and friends
N, A gentleman said to a lady whc
I'd doubted the victims insanity
10 "What do you think. madam, Of hi
n. lying on his back inthe barnyard ant
ly permitting the hens to feed off hi
cd body2" "Why, nothing more" re
,r. sponded the lady, ethan that, lik'
in many other married mon, he wa
iis hen-pecked."
nc It is related Of George Clark, th,
ne celebrated negro minstrel, that, be