The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-09-10
Pith and Point.
OLD YARNs-Darned stockings.

OLD YARNs-Darned stockings.
WE'LL PosrED"-The telegraph.
IF thy conscience smite thee once, it
is admonition if it smite thee twice, it
is condemnation.
A WISCONSIN book agent has been
killed by the kick of horse-man's
most faithful friend.
THE season must be very backward,
for the annual sea-serpent has not yet
made his appearance.
IT is said that in the Paris gardens
one may find every kind of roses, even
including rhinoce-roses.
| AN accomplished optician suggests to
the opponents of corporal punishment
that the place for "pupils'' is under the
lash.
IT costs less to take weekly paper"
argues the Cape Ann Adertise9, " than
a diligent hen can earn in year at the
market price Of eggs"
THOROUGHLY REsPECTABLE-" Well, I
think you will suit me. What is your
name % Shakespeare, ma'am, but no
~ lation to the play actor Of that name"
&c WHAT becomes of dogs when thew
die % was what a juvenile in Burlington
asked ha.s pa. '.They go to the happy
land Of cab inc" his parent quickly re-
Piled.
AN Tn6;anapoh.x editor says of a re-
firing cotemporal. us plumbers
never annoyed him, and ne was cheer
full and chirrnpy ind. II mountain OF
mistakes.
+" MIssUs SNowDRoP, rs, AID gentle"
man of color the other aftt rnoon dur
ing shower to lady of his acquaint-
ance, as de wedder is somewA' at am
phibious, will you do me de no. nor to
step under my umbreller an form
quorum?" "Tank you Master Rillihs,
[ will. In dis wedder an umbrelIer in.
RAIDER cosmopolitan.
Mr.. DICKENS told story of a young
lady who, being intensely loved by five
young men, was advised to Jump over
board, and marry the man who jumped
in after her. Accordingly, next morn
ing, the five lovers being on deck, and
looking very devotedly at the young
lady, she plunged into the sea head
foremost. Four of the lovers immedi-
ately jumped in after her. When the
young lady and the four lovers were out
again, she says to the captain, "What
am to do with them now, they are so
wet ?" "Take the dry one." And the
young lady did, and married him.
AN Englishman holding forth in the
evening in Scotch hotel to some
friends and some strangers in the house
on the subject of cremation of bodies,
in place of the present mode of burial,
wound up by declaring that he had
about made.up his mind to leave direc-
tions with his executors and friends
that, when he died, his body should be
cremated. A canny old Scotchman, who
did not relish the innovation, "set the
table on aroar" by remarking, d" Ye seem
in great hurry ABBOTT that business,
ma freen A that may possibly be or
dained to be done, without ony bother
to your friends and executors, at the
Lords guild time and pleasure"
woMAN's RIGHTS.
told the boys
Twas wrong to chew tobacco.
A six year-old +.
Grown very bold,
Presumed to give his veto;
Says he, 81 saw
A fellow chaw
Because he had the toothache:
'Taint never wrong
For any
To chaw that has the toothache"
The school agreed,
With him; indeed,
His logic charmed the urchins.
Quite puzzled,
Could scarce reply
At first to his assertions.
A happy thought,
However, brought
Relief from Greeley's namesake.
Horace" I said,
GO If girl instead
Should chance to have the toothache
And want to chew,
What should she do 2"
Like older ones by time unschooled,
He scratched his head,
And then he said
She'd orter have the tooth pulled"
The Best Kind OF Drummer.