, 1874-12-20
HuScR.

"a 'ass s"uslc1at-one who pIaJs too forte.
Time will only hang up his scythe when h.h
NO mower. ="
Forenoon horse -trots in San Etancsco srz ncz
called mntin-neighs. ~@~0 0st
: Lovers do the cooing befo1e mar1iaoe ,,3
trndesmen do the billing afterit - '@-'
They don't bury co1ored peopla in Geo,,.,
They torn dc fun'r obs'quies, sab.
Minnesota man makes the winte. seem ,ho,.
BY giving his note payable in the spring.
A Galveston man has boqueathed ss,ooo tha.
fcnd persons Tho kill Southern taggage-ar,ss.
| erB.
The difference between The cook aud be, In,
| is, the one cooks the meat, and the ,othe. MI
! the COOK.
Unconscionable-Head Of the d1m-aE.as,
holiday? Why, you're jast been at hons n
for month !! ~
IA play upon worls," As the f1sman rid
when he thrust his hose into bookscIlers skop
10 put out the flames.
4 sillyglsm The good die young. Rdgh,a
the Mormon will die Young. Therefore, Biz
ham is good--LoeceA Courier. > >''. -
~ am very happy" eaid French moths.
II have son-in-law whom everybody discusse1
and daughter whom no ono talks abou.-"
"SekIctz," says Josh Billings, "iss bad ID
vestmeu-if you pass it, you loze the prim+
pal; and If you keep it, you loze the interest"
IA Cogington man died and they put him c,
ice but he awo1e in the night and yelled cut
:. Why didn't you put soma more- wood in .hat
stove?"
1t is wonderful what an amount Of struggling
and red facedness will be gono through bJ
pereon wrestling into new pair Of ehoes IS ELL
too large." -
Benjamin Franklin used to spell toai
'sE-op-e," and yet there isn't day but that soz4
one holds hin up as great philosopher andt
good man.
4 Rhode Island man carries :oG00oO life b
surance. and if he oven takes cold in the hs1d
the companies rush down three or foar doctau
to feel his pulse.
The advertisement Of E Western stonecutn
reads Those who bur ton3stones from Il
look with pride and satisfaction upon the gu1a
Of their friends"
They talk about tho reckless estrayasaa:s d
the American people, and yet Bauyor MI
worked all day to clean Scent stamp % aa
he could use it again. -:
ALouisyills woman. having been ill-trsetedb!
her husband, jumped iato 3 cistern and n,
drowned, which proves that the brethren sho1a
be gentle to the sistern. ..-:,
/ Western poet, who had expressed wish .
die '.araid tho grand solitude OF ths ess:nn
mountain-tops, was killed by tho explosion os
pint Of cheap kerosene.
As to tho familiar rrob'em-Whst is ho-1s
without mother 2--a BROOKLYN boy say5 sass !.
is u very pleasant place provided she leaves fas
key Of the pantry behind her: :
An individual who was about to start paper
In the interest of the glove makers nna aea:at.
was rather disgustcd ct the suggestion taas
should be called the Hand Organ: ::
k Mrs. Burton, of California, beats the "osa
in the cultivation Of castor beans- sne u
castor oil upon the troubled wctesr: ano uV
duced calm $500, .-Cincinnai Tines :
St. Paul might have qualified big condemns.
ton Of matrimony had ho lived TO iesln Iass s.,
WasniDgtonian has recovered ~ oo5 oaIaf L.
from railway company for tho -nlhnS u -
wife. = :
The quaiutest thing Of late IN baby-taK-ss -
Little gill seciug dog scratching to be les u .
an o5posito door, promptly knocked y s0s
window and called ors, ~ Ing 9 bei1s oosss'' ~
c bell" ~..'.,.
English people ara feassing John =: fosag
becauee he saiu that tho English gssls - - -
best warblers in the world When ha lesa,nsk
this country he will swear that ho "rose s@@
blers.">r
Hard currency foreyer-A FennsrlFan'aol l;ss, Nv,
fooled Wit, pistol Bali st.uck 9.ceus IN
IN his wcistcoat pocket. and took 10 nls wv.
stead OF his yitals. 4 thousand dous-s Ill teE
would not hare saved him.
When Washington buried the batehet. Ann ~
vised his conp1rymen to avoid gethns .a"d,d Md
muss with foreign powers he little appfeaasa,.1 .,.1
TINT Maesacnusests eoap-fat dealer Fpa.4 ol4.,s"
so insult Greece Us to call his horse o'14- :,
Thomas Caldwell, President Of the so15 at5
Nashville Street Railway, andertook ln g 1tas lin ii
= new driver the other night, te11ne ~ me-.
to tho dcuaand for fare, -. - o". ..Ten
Of this road" and getting thia reply: nm
you won't own it long il you don't PER 10 ~
fnte. That's ali I've got to say about IT,
Tho slang Of Mark Twain's new pl1 rs :
reached Sorristown. A gentleman le.mD lr w,h
me remark that it was too :: AVe'y 1,nined
use. The grocer. eoucwhat odeudaa.. ~ 1nnch
his cheese and replied that it VAS ror;n ~ cu1.
II auy other cheese. ~ Yes" returned '1o
,omer, " there's millions IN It"
An Akron phIaician tells OF little A..o. .orcs
rho cana to him anl said, !" Doctor, saa;x xe1sr ;c
pecac" "What do you Eaat it Tor r,:. .sns ,on
mind, just giYe it to me-" .Nnv .NMnv.ss1f~ ~"I
aero :"" Nobody sent NO I came mss.h: .s shs: rou
:ant let you have it unless yqH ~ noc.or, as or
.re going to do With IT,: o.. .tar Ind SO
rid that if would give her something
rould bling it up, might hare IT, ,.uot.
ron.lem:n zzas 1oos;ogint the r1poIa Ih,,tsI
oy store tho other daT. when tao no's son vii
nd ouo remarked: Say, Jim. dons ~ ~ noor,
Ne ind 10 cents TO bur present ~ I;t VI md tks
ame sister ?" Jim replied tia. be od oin idhsw-s
lad to be aeIe to assist them in ss:a t,!, hJi
7orthy enterprise. He pee ;1o 5as I'D nis poes..
N hour afterward, and eacn n.jaai neI E,ef P5etk
tuEed With popcorn b*lis'-1>e''0'' =