The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1874-10-23
CAPTURED SMILES.

A CHICAGO highwayman undertook 10
rob newspaper reporter, and ended by
giving him ten cents to buy breakfast
with.-Brooktyn Argw.
SUNDAY contributions in the churches
have fallen off in amount since the issue
of ten-cent currency resembling in ap-
pearancc the fifty-cent bills.
A New YORK paper gravely observes
that the suicide Of farmer, which it
notices, ais singularly strange, inasmuch
as he has not been in the habit Of doing
such things"
IF George Francis Train commits sui
eide let it I've remembered that this paper
has always endeavored to make this cold
world as pleasant as possible for him.
Detroit Free Press.
A PErRIFIED negro was lately found
in garret over law Office in village
in Mississippi. 1t was supposed that he
undertook to study law, and became alb
sorbcd in Blackstone.
A FRENCH paper says that not one
American in hundred has a handsome
chin. This is due to sthe fact that NO
many Of our fcllow-citizens give nearly
all their time to the cultivation Of cheek.
SOME people complain about their
children being non-observing, but we'd
like to see the child who won't observe
how the family pie is cut and who gets
the biggest piece.-Detroa Free Press.
BRIGHAM YoUNG has got on his pins
again, and he says he can whip the news
paper man who wrote his obituary notice
stating that the old prophet had en-
braced the true religion.-Dctroa Free
Press.
A YOUNG lady In North Carolina re-
quested to be released from her marriage
engagement on the ground that when
she contracted it she believed her lover
ga duck" but has since found him to be
a goose.
"How is it that you have never kin
died fame in any mans heart p asked
a rich lady to her portionless niece. al
suppose, aunt, it is because I'm not
good MATCH" meekly replied the poor
niece.
The most amusing man in the world
is Frenchman in passion. BY gar,
you call my wife a woman three several
times once more, and will call de watch
house and blow your brains like candle,
by DAMP
A CLERGYMAN recently asked a girl
concerning her intended, Is he in his
conversation and carriage a consistent
Christianr She replied, ain his con-
versation he is very pious, but ] never
saw him in his carriage"
JOSH BILLINGS says, If yu are going
to Civ man emmy thing Civ 1t To him
cheerfully, and quick, don't make him
git down on hiz kneeze in front Of yu,
and listen to the 10 commandments, and
then give him cents"
THE Hartford Post says this; eff life
insurance com panies had been in busi-
ness in Palestine at the time, wouldn't
Methuselah have been a heavy risk--life
policy, for instance, annual premium
from his twentieth to his nine hundred
and sixty-ninth year"
The charge is now made against Rev.
DIR. Swing by brother clergyman, that
he Is simply pantheistic Arion Of the
Entychian type, who docs not preach the
Apangasmal brilliance Of eternal glory"
We had no idea that it was half 10 bad.
Burn him alive.-L0uisritte COMMERCIAL
ONE Of the cxcursionists on Lake
Champlain boat recently went to sleep
ON deck, and in the morning couldn't
find his shoes "wherc dill you put
them ?" asked sympathixing friend IL
opened that little cupboard and laid them
ON the shelf" he replied. The victim
had open 4 the wheel-house and laid
his shoes ON the paddle-wheel.
WAS sitting beside
My destined bride,
One still sentimental day
"How long" said l,
'But 10 make you cry,
And I'd kiss the bright tears away"
Pair Cecily blush'd,
Her voice hushd.
thought she would cry to be- sure
Hut she lispd 10 me,
Pouting pretiiy,
Prevention Is better than cure"
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