The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-01-16
THE STEAM JAcKAss.
A Triumph Of Ingenuity-1he Loudest
Noise Ever Heard.


A man living near Nashville, Wash
ington county, ILL.,, has recently invent
ed an apparatus to take the place of
whistles for railroad signals, steamboats,,
fre-alarms, factory calls and the like.
He calls it the Telegraph but the
proper name is the ''Steam Jackass."
The inventor is stoek-farmer, and has
devoted much of his time to raising
mules, whose habits and anatomy he ap-
pears to have studied very carefully.
On his farm there was a mule of more
than ordinary vocal power, whose voice
could be heard distance of four miles
in every direction when he cnce got
warmed up to his work. The owner
computed that if he could set in motion
all the air in circle of eight miles in
diameter, or twenty-five miles in circum-
ference, or an area of fifty square miles,
or 80, 600 acres, a 100 horse power jack
ass could, all other things being equal,
rival any other noise yet discovered. He
established the fact that the power of an
ordinary ass is about one-tweIfth of an
indicated steam power. A steam engine
of 1000 horsepower would therefore be
equal to the power of 1900 asses.
Wherefore, if one ass can fill a circle
eight miles in diameter, -, 900 jackasses
or one ], ZOO horsepower iackass would
fill a circle of 95, 200 miles in diameter.
The inventor thought all this over care.
fully, arriving at the deduction that if
he could take natures vocal apparatus
and apply it to greater power, he could
produce larger and more satisfactory
volume of sound. Filled with this
! idea, he put the mule 10 death, and care
fully severed the head from the body.
He then injected solutions of chloride
of zinc and arsenic into the veins and
arteries of the head and neck to prevent
decay of the flesh. India rubber was
dissolved In sulphuric ether, and the
solution forced through the trachea or
wind-pipe and through the larynx, OF
throat. The ether evaporated, leaving
a film of rubber on the membranes, and
the injection and evaporation were con-
tinued antil the rubber film was found
of sufficient thickness. These organs
were then subjected to a vapor of sui
phur, heated to 800 degrees, by which
process the rubber was vulcanized, Its
elasticity increased, and the membranes
rendered impervious to steam. These
preparations completed, a short piece
ofrubber hose was attached to the wind
pipe and connected with a steam boiler
1t was a moment of agony to the in
ventor, as he placed the ass-head in the
hands of an assistant and slowly pulled
the valve open; a moment of thrilling
interest. AS the steam was turned on
it passed into the wind-pipe, expelline
the air and producing sigh, followed
by groan, mort, a chuckle, then
violent coughing and sneez ng. As
full head of steam was turned on, thu
Z, est fearful noise, the most frightfu
outlaw, the most vociferous bray thai
ever assailed mortal ears, was pro
duced. The lips contracted, DISCLOSING
terrible array of teeth the features
developed a satanic grin; the jaws raised
, and fell, as the steam crowded the pas
sages, and the ears participated in tn,
general movement, giving to the heat
of the ass an animated and excited ap
pearance. The man who was holding
the head gazed at it a moment, with d.
lated eyes, colorless cheeks, knocking
knees and protruding tongue then
suddenly losing all interest in the per
Torrance, he emigrated. As for the in
ventOr, his success succeeded his mos
sanguine anticipations. For an instan
he contemplated the had, his counte
nance working with every manifestation
of intense delight then he too started
probably to learn the greatest distanc,
to which that voice would penetrate
leaving it still in operation, with al
steam on. The head had now got fully
warmed up to its work, and that bra,
went hurtling through the universe. I
l was an acoustic earthquake; it was
storm, a hurricane of sound, tornado
a cyclone of noise it was a donke,
carnival, iaekass Fourth of July. I
D was the greatest success the world hal
5 ever known.