Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-03-06

feTTING OII A SAi.---hi' JoocPh
Spinger is a peaceable married man who
lives on Detroit Street near the Western
city limits. He has 10 his employ maid
servant who has young man that not only
calls regularly, but often irregularly. The
maid servants beau is possessed Of an ap-
petite that requires frequent satisfying,
and during his visit 10 The Spinger man.
sion, pies, doughnuts, cheese, cookies, cold
meat, preserves and other nutritious and
palatable articles, disappeared like dew be-
fore the morning sun, or hot griddle cakes
before hired man.
Since the panic has demoralized men and
things Springer has been trying to econo-
mize in various directions, and among
other leaks that he sought to stop was that
of feeding his hired girls beau. Springer
even went SO far as 10 tell his handmaid
that she could only receive visits from her
lover ON Wednesday and Saturday nights,
as the expense of fire, lights and provisions
five nights out of seven was too much. The
maiden Of all work pouted, burned the
toast and served dish water coffee for sever
al mornings, bu: finally seemed to accept
the situation and resumed her wonted
cheertulness.
Such was the state OF affairs up 10 last
Friday night, when it appers "Ssrahs
Young man." unable to stands the pangs OF
hunger or love until Saturday night, raped
at the kitchen door of Springer's house, and
was admitted. About eleven O'Clock p. m.
the handmade, in obedience TO hint from
her admirer. took the lamp in hand and
proceeded down cellar in search of some
thing for him to eat. Though she used
eyeryprecaution no: to awaken the Springer
family, asleep up stairs, yet, as she opened
the celler door, strange cat bounded out
into the room unbeknown to her, and 4
moment later emitted one of those sad and
melancholy howls that cats are wont to give
when concealed in strange room.
Mrs. Springer heard the cat yell, and af-
ter digging at Springer's shins with her
toe nails until lac was awake, she said,
"Go down stairs, Mr. Springer, and let
that cat out of the house" Springer, hat
ed the Job, but was forced to comply, and
descending the stairs in his night shirt and
bare feet, found himself in the dining-room
where all about him was dark as pitch.
The maid servants beau had heard Spring
er descending the stairs, and fearing that
if he were found there it might make trou-
bic in the family, began to feel his way to-
ward to back door. In doing SO, however,
he tripped over the chair his sweetheart
had been occupying, and fell headlong into
clothes horse full Of garments that were
being dried by the kitchen stove. The
clothes horse struck the cat in its fall, and
with another howl of misery, that animal
began TO cavorI around the room, scale the
walls and climb the tables seeking for an
exit. "Great Moses what ails that cal ~
said Springer, as he entered the kitchen,
only to fall over the unfortuna te lover, who
was trying TO get untangled from the
clothes horse and clothing.
Burglars murder :" yelled Springer, az
he clutched the supposed thief beneath him,
who, in his struggles to get away. upset
the table full of breakfast dishes.
The handmade hearing the muss, came
rushing up stairs so fast that the lamp was
extinguisEed, and arrived in the kitchen
Just in time to get kicked in the pit Of the
stomach by one of the struggling men on
the floor, and dropped the lamp and plate
of doughnuts she had in her hands, she,
too, doubled up with a shrek Of pain and
fell 10 the floor in hysterical bit.
Mrs. Springer, who was only half-awake,
heard her husband yell murder, and bound
ing out of bed came sliding down stairs in
a sitting posture, and as she entered the
kitchen, from whence came sounds of dead
ly strife, curses and shrieks, the cat, who
had partially caused the trouble, bolted
through a window, and before Mrs. ).
could collect her senses, the hired girls
beau had succeeded in getting out OF
Sprirger's grasp and followed the cat
through the same aperture. The hand
maid hearing her lover escape arose, pro-
cured light, when Springer ceasd pound
ing the armful of clothing he thought was
the burglar, and general council was held
to discuss war matters. Result: Springer
is called fool and idiot, by Mrs. S. and
the girl, for thinking there was burglar in
the house the broken lamp, spilled dough-
nuts and fractured window sash are charg
ed up to the cat, whilst Mrs. s., who had
not fully recovered from her trip down
stairs, says the next time she wants cat
put out of the house she will do il herself
A man don't know how to do anything
anyhow, nor never did. 20 Charles Leonard
tor the GeueIdnd Voice.