davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
Sleeping With His Equal.
Fayetteville (Tenn , Express. J


A certain hotel, not a thousand miles
from Fayetteville, recently had for its
guest a sanctimonious looking Puritan
from the butt end of Massachusetts, who
took great pains to ingratiate himself
with the eolored people, and instil into
their minds the odious doctrines of ne
gro equality. The Civil Rights bill was
his favorite hobby, and he took occasion,
whenever suitable opportunity occur
red, to whisper into the ears of all me-
groes that came within his reach that
he considered them his equals in every
way. The porter of the hotel is barly
negro named 10, who is as greasy and
odorous an African as ever impaired
high flavor to the summer breeze. And
the sanity scaIawag from Massachusetts,
had been using him some time as a
milestone to sharpen his abominable
theories on. But 10 is a sensible darkey,
albeit he is not the best fellow in the
world to rub ones nose against, and he
has pretty correct idea of a negrO's
place, which kept him from being gulled
by his would-be white brother. Besides,
10 is attached to the landlord of the hO-
tel, and, as he is talkative withal, he I'M
bosomed himself to his employer one
evening. and related all that the insidi-
Gus Yankee had said on the subject of
The landlord was thoughtful for mo-
ment, and then exclaimed:
10, I'll giYesyOu 81 tomorrow morn
ing, if you'll sleep with that fellow to-
night"
JOS eyes twinkled like stars and he
quickly responded:
OATS bargain, Marse Jim, fore
GodP'
That night the meek and unsuspecting
white friend of the race of Ham was
just crawling into bed, when 10 slid in
to the room humming John Browns
body am a smouldering in the dus," and
commenced shedding his clothes with.
out further ceremony. The amazed Pu-
ritan. started up in the bed, his eyes
out from his head like couple
of door knobs, tremblingly enquired:
My colored friend, what are you go-
ing to dor"
10 pulled his shirt over his head, gave
a tremendous yawn, set few thousand
odors af1oat, and made a leap for the
bed, screaming as he went:
'.Ise gwine to spend de night wild my
ekal ~
The Mortified disciple of Sumner gave
q yell that would have made Piute In
dams hair curl, tore himself from JOS
but fond embrace, Ieaped
from the bed, broke for the door with
the caudal appendage of his shirt float
ing like summer cloud behind him,
and fell into the arms of the landlord,
whos attended by few friends, was en-
Ioying the whole scene as only decent
white man could. Next morning 10 re-
ceiyed his money, but the sanity sneak
rom Massachusetts was not there to see.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
EUREKA! EUREKAi!
$4O.OOO.OOO!

To the Editor of the Morristown Gazette:
Yes, have found It'll l have madi
the great discovery of the present age
But what is strange to me is, that tn,
| discovery hasn't been made before this
THE GREAT NATIONAL REPUB
LICAN HAIR-RESTORER will pro
duce hair ten inches long in the short
space of four days and is made from one OF
the commonest weeds now in this coun-
try; weed that grows in nearly every
field. No poison about it, as cattle eat
the weed and are not poisoned thereby.
The great difficulty will be in applying
it, as in my opinion, if it touches the
naked hand, it will Immediately pro-
duce a heavy growth of hair. Great
care should therefore be used, to pre-
vent the Restorer from touching any
part of the flesh where coat of hair is
not desired. I am of the opinion that
few applications of this wonderful Re
storer will produce a heavy coat of nice
hair on smooth plank, or almost any
thing else, with any substance about it.
The solving of this great mystery has
caused me many hours hard study, the
loss of much sleep, as well as many
meals vituals. was first led to believe
there was golden discovery to be made
in the way of hair restorer, by finding
an occasional hair in butter, and l
studied over the thing great deal, not
knowing how to account for this strange
freak of nature, but could never account
for it till recently. Ihad an idea for some
time that the hairs in the butter were
produced from something eaten by the
COWS, and during the exceeding drOuth
of the last summer, I discovered that
butter contained more of them, and they
were longer and stronger than usual,
owing 1 suppose to the weed containing
more strength in dry weather than at
other times. am now convinced that
this weed will produce hair in butter
ten inches long in four days. But there
is yet mystery in this thing. Some of
the hairs are white. The color of the
cow may have something to do with this,
Rut as coloring is easily done, this will
be no great drawback on the great Re
,torer.
1 consider that this discovery will save
,he people of the United States millions
upon millions of dollars, as every lady,
with this Restorer can grow her own
switches on the closet door or the back
side of the looking glass, or else
where, as the occasion may demand.
Send up your orders. Price, $4 90
Der pound.
THOMAS BAsCUSr
MaryvilIe, Tenn.,-Sept. 22d. 1874.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
How Grant Earns His Extra
rFrom the Raltimnre Sun !

From the Baltimore sun
The following exhibit taken from the
files of the court journals, shows pretty
clearly the absences of the President
and the members of his cabinet, during
this season; Congress adjourned on the
23d of June Immediately after the
President went to West Virginia on a
pleasure trip. He returned to Washing
ton, remained a day or two, and on July
3, left for Long Branch, from whence
he made excursions to Saratoga, ATTAIN
tic City, Newport, Martha's Vineyard,
and other watering places. He was not
seen again in Washington till the 18th
of September, when he came on to give
a dinner at the White House. His in
tention was to return at once to Long
Branch, but in the meantime the upris-
ing against Kellogg took place in Louis
lana. This induced the President to
stay here long enough to put Kellogg
back in power over the heads of the peo-
pie he had for so long robbed and OPP
pressed. This being accomplished, the
advancing season had caused Long
Branch to be deserted. The President
therefore solaced himself for his two
weeks enforced stay in Washington by
paying three days visit to New York,
returning here once more on the 30th of
September, in order to be present at the
Sherman-Fitch wedding, which came
off the next day. After q three days so
iourn, the President again wearied of
his capital city, and started on Wes-
tern tour, taking in the wild Indians In
the trip. It is said at the White House
that he will be back by the 26th. Thus
in the space of four months, the Presi-
dent has spent about twenty-three days
in the aggregate at the headquarters Of
the Government, and in this time he has
received from the Treasury of the Uni
ted States SIC, ,666, or over 800 for every
day at the place of his official duty.
---zm @~--------
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
Laws Relating TO Newspaper
subscriptions. SC.

1. Subscribers who do not give express notice to
the contrary, are considered wishing to continue
their subscription.
2 If subscribers order the discontinuance of their
periodicals, the publishers may &C ntinue to send
them until all arrearages are paid.
g. If subscribers neglect or refuse their periodi-
Gals from the Office to which they are directed
they are held responsible until they have settled
their bills, and ordered them Discontinued.
T. If subscribers move to other places without in
forming the publishers, and the papers sent to
the former direction, they are held responsible
s. The Courts have decided that tfrefusing TO take
periodicals from the Office, or removing and Ieav-
ing them uncalled for, is priIna face evidence Of
Intentional fraud" &f
5. Any person who receivs a newspaper and makes
use of it., whether he has ordered it or not is
held in law to be subscriber
z. If subscribers pay in advance, they are bound
to give notice to the publisher at the end of their
time, if they do not wish to continue taking it
otherwise the publisher, is authorized to send it
on, and the subscribers will be responsible un-
till an express notice, with payment of all ar
rearss, is sent to the publisher.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

~ The express train of the Baltimore
and Ohio Railroad, due at Cincinnati at
A. M. Thursday, met with an accident
at Loveland, Ohio, which resulted iU the
death of the engineer and fireman., and
the wrecking of the LOCOMOTIVES and
tender. A misplaced switch threw the
locomotive off the track. No passengers
were injured, and those in the sleeping
car were not even wakened by the acci-
dent
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
DastardIy, Desperate and Dam
nabIe DEVICES.

MONTGoMERY Ala. Oct. 19.-Large
numbers of men are summoned to appear
before the United States Court in Hunts
vile on the extreme Northern border of
the State early in November. It is also
reported to-day that from five hundred
to eight hundred warrants have been is
sued for fhe arrest of men in districts
where no disorders have been reported.
Many Deputy Earshals are being ap-
pointed on Recommendation OF Charles
Mayer, Chairman of the Republican Ex-
ecutive Committee, although the State
was never more quiet.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

A lady we know went to dutch cor
ner grocery the other day for some trif1ing
thing. The goods wanted were on the
very top shelf The woman placed box
on chair and climbed up to the. shelf at
evident risk of her limbs. Her husband
sat by the stove playing with a small dog.
Lady saids ''Why don't you make your
husband reach it?'' "A look of infinite
contempt came into her face, as she re-
Piled: MY husband. got awfully
sucked in NIT dat man. He knows noting
but to pIav nit a dog. aH fv ess -
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

An Engliahman and Welshman dis
putting in whose country was the best
living, said the Welshman, Thore is
such noble housekeeping In Wales that
have known above dozen cooks en-
pIoyed at one wedding dinner" Az"
answered the EngIishman' that was be-
cause every man toasted his own cheese.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
ADVERTISING RATES.

One square, (ten lines, or less for first Insertion
One Dollar, each subsequent insertion Fifty cents
liberal discount from the above rate viii be
made to yearly advertisers
Obituaries Of over ten lines win be charged as
advertisements.
All bills due upon first insertio of advertise
meDt, unless otherwise contractor for
for in advance.
Jon WORK must be paid for on delivery.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

Always acknowledge all courtesles I'm
kindly spirit. Throw a boquet and
card of thanks to a serenading party, II
not prepared TO invite them in. III yon
haven't boquet or card at hand, throw
a boot.jack, or brick, or anything OF
that sort, just to show your appreciation
Of the kindness intended
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
MAYNARD CORNERED.
What He Found Out I'm the
s COmptrOIIer's Office.

. 0AAAOCs
FFrom the NashyiIle Union and Americana,
Immediately after the speaking, Sat
urday afternoon, Mr.. Maynard hastily
entered the Comptroller's office, and de-
manded to see the original paper show
ing that he had received $500 for sitting
as special Judge of the Supreme Court,
in 1867, and drawing pay as Congress
man at the same time, a copy of which
document had been produced with such
telling effect by Judge Porter during the
speaking. The request was complied
with, whereupon Mr.. Maynard examin-
ed it critically.
"I don't remember anything about
this" he said.
eDidn't you get the money specified
in that receipt" was asked.
I" / don't know that did. This is not
my signature.
EeNo, that is not your signature. It
reads Horace Maynard, by John r.
Henry and if you didn't get the money,
you'll have to go back on Mr.. Henry"
but he is dead, explained the cor
nered statesman. s 3Ea
Yes, he is dead, 4" was the reply, "but
you can proceed against his administra-
tors, executors and heirs.
sfOh, I wouldn't think of that" res
ponded Mr.. Maynard, as he abruptly left
the office, having evidently satisfied him
self as to the genuineness of the docu-
ment so suddenly and unexpectedly
sprung upon him by Judge Porter, and
which will doubtless bear its part during
the remainder of the GubernatOrial can
yasS
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

A sharp student was called up by a
worthy professor of celebrated college
and asked the question, "Can man see
without eyesg'' Yes, sir, was the
prompt answer. s'How, sir, cried the
amazed professor, s'can man see without
eyes?" s'He can see with one, sir" re-
piled the ready-witted youth; and the
whole class shouted with delight at the
triumph over old Metaphysics.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

EB Several negroes, members respect
lively of the Burgess and Smith factions,
indulged in fights in Richmond on Sat-
urday last One of the fights occurred
within the sacred precincts of the custom
house. What a pity some white men
were not participants, so that more ''out-
rage stories could have been sent off to
the Northern press. Lgzech5uyg Repa6-
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

~ The October returns of the depart
ment of agriculture show that the wheat
crop is equal to or greater than last years
in all the States except Maryland, Vir-
ginia, Texas, Kentucky, Wisconsin,
Minnesota and Kansas. The yield gen
orally is large and the quality improved.
In production Maryland falls one per
cent. and Virginia six per cent. below
last year.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
TERMS:
50 A YEAR. STRICTLY IN ADVANCE

THE GAZETTE ia q permanently established
newspaper with paying and constantly Increasing
list Of subscribers It's circulation in the counties
Of Hamblen, Hawkins, Cooke, Jefferson. Granger
and Claibornefs more general than any other pa-
per-making it the best advertising medium in
Upper East Tennessee.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

A-clergyman one stormy night prayed;
" o Lord, we thank Thee for the goodly
number here tonight, and also that thou
art here notwithstanding the inclemency
Of the weather"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

At the Barnsley County Court, in Eng
land, on Sept. II, tailor's bill was dis
puted on the ground that the trousers
and waistcoat did not fit. To the great
amusement of the spectators, the Judge
ordered the man to put the garments on,
and then decided they were a good fit,
and ordered verdict for the plaintiff.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

Soldiers oughtto be good physiogno-
mists They all know how to write
about face. M
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

In family of six children-all under
eleven years-the elder ones are just
commencing grammar. A grammatical
question arose at tea the other evening,
when one of the young grammarians In
terposed: Mamma, know how many
cases there are" Chow many?" respond
ed mamma. Three was the reply
''genuine, feminine, and plural" - "a
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28

Never attempt to form an opinion of a
woman S weight by her signs.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
MIXED SCHOOLS.

Maryville, Tenn Sept. 22d, 1874.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-10-28
VANITY FAIR RACES.

AN A UTHENTT0 HISTORY or THE
GREAT CONTEST FOR BOTTOM
OYER THE f" BATTERLNG RAlM''
COURSE-HO " THE NAGS CAME
IN WITH THE EBB AND WENT
OUT WITH THE TIDE.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12
RED PEPPER FOR INSECTS

A correspondent OF the Rural Press says .
have discovered by O practical test that
cayenne. red pepper (capSjcana) will desti oy
ca Dbage lice or cabbage milGew l have
soIQr two hundred fine c4bbages growing
and to my hearts sorrow eome two weeks
since found them covered with lice. [
sprnkItd tn, m wherever the lice could be
fornd, with the capsicum and am deigh ed
to see ray cahbagGs entirely cleared, save q
iew that did not sprinkle, that might con-
trast them, and that eau assure you is very
very evident, those so left are covered with
the itile destroyers, Now | am of the
opinion that caps'cum will in the same man
ner destroy the fungi OF all plants. vines,
II ults, Sc spoken OF in the agricuIl ural re-
port of 1871, from pace 10 to l23. also
sprinkled humble bee witt. 1t and the re-
suit was death TO the bee in few minutes
Now this might be applied to the vines in The
torn of q solution; but for the cabbage
sprnkling dry IS preferable, as it sticks or
adheres closely TO the leaf.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12
ANOTHER ENoCH ARDEN ROMANCE

The latest Enoch Arden romance has a
happy, but exceedingly matter-ot fact, de-
nouement.t he hero, Mr. Oades, was mar
rled many years ago IN New ZEALAND, and
had raised small family. One day tribe
III sayages took advantage Of his absence
ana laid his home in ashes Mr. Oades dis
covered aEong i be ruins what he believed
Ii o be the charred remains of his wife and
children, and ~ subsequent inquiry seemed
TO conirm this belle he made up his m'nd
ihs he was widower. After q apsS o.
years he removed 10 California. settled 10
San Bernardino, and finally took o himself
another male. The other day the origlna'
Mrs. Oades turned up, with an Interesting
group OF young Oadrs. They had only been
carried into captivity by TIE savages. and
ON heir escape he faithful woman traced
her hushc nd to his farm house at San Brr-
nardno. Oades behaved like q sen -ible
m n The first wife had legal claim to his
protection, but he had also married the sec :
ond IN good faith. So compromise was
t e. rsed by wedding thv Two branc hes Of the
house OF Oadrs into one. and The happy man
now rrjocrs IN he bosoms of mis- two fami-
hes This is more manly than snraking off
whatever he good people OF San Be,nardino
may think about it
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12
THE SOUL OF GOODNESS.

To express the whole matter in the homei-
est form, one might say that goodness Is pay
irg debts TO pay debts is to 5e good But
to pay debts is great matter, even in the
easiest Of times. To owe no man anything,
to discharge in full al obligations, to meet
all claims, TO answer ell demands from all
quarters, above, below, around; to fulfill all
righteousness toward the strong who help
and the weak who depend, the great who lift
and the small who must he litted, the wise
who teach us and the simple who look to us
for teaching, to discharge ildebteuness to-
ward parents who give US life, and to chill
dren who receive life from us. toward friends
who give us love and enemies who require
love from us, toward the wealthy and capa-
bic who supply our eternal needs and tie
humble toilers who supply our eternal neces-
stiles, toward the family whereof we are
members and the community whereof we are
portions, toward the saints who bless us by
feeding our sonls and the sinners who bless
IS quite as'much BY training them, this ia
cert ainly great thing TO he done justice to
in sermon or in life. %. y. Tg0tAhag1tam.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12
SMUT IN WHEAT.

Theorists differ in relation TO what is gen
erally known as smut in wheat. Jethro Tul
states that the difficulty was common in
England. till some OF the wheat takeE from
u suhktn vessel was sewn This produced
wheat tree from smut, and from hat time
forward the practice of soaking wheat in
ocean brine. or wafer made artiiclaiIV salt
became general. Land that contains salt ia
not liable 10 produce smntty wheat. Apply
ing lime and salt directly 10 the soil seems
10 operate TO prevent rust, but it is better Q
treat the grain than the soil Supha e OF
copper, comm only known as blue vitriol, or
blue stone. is now generally used, instead of
salt, 10 prevent smut IN ounce and quar-
ter of his sd t, dissolved Ia as much ter as
will cover The wheat, is regarded by many
persons as sufficient quantity tor bushel.
The wheat may remain in 1t az hour. For
convenience in sowing, many afterwards
sprinkle the grain with Cry lime.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12

Courtehip and marriage in Sweden are pecuiia r
Institutions. Du Chaiu says 81 saw one match
made lie met her at the gate aud poked his fin.
aora In her ribs. and said want 70 get married,
don't you p 'Oh. don't know. Goway' = Yes
never niind him, we'li get married ANYHOW And
he went around telling everybody he saw, lam
going 10 marry that girl me preparations contin.
have the bans published in the church Fishes
were caught, stores for the feast laid in, beer
brewed. ana whisky purchased. Wedding jolid-
cations were indr ged in fora week. This couple
were married They went from the church To the
house, and the bridesmaids locked the BRIDE in her
room The groom knocked al the door How
much will you give to come 10 !! Two cows aud
Oh yon are rich you must give more than that.
rive cows and s25 was the ana offer, which wa
accepted - F@ s@A tatt@ ~ e % - $50 So 0@@
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1874-02-12

CIRCUIT co JRT-CoUNTY OF KENosHA.
The State of Wisconsin. To james Holland,
George A. Wheeler, JuIia A. Wheeler, Samuel
b. Lng1e James DarlOw, Friedrich Kroft,
Edward G. Clever John Mooney, John b. Cute,
and j r Wheeler ta
You are hereby summoned and rcquI ed to an
ewcr the complaint Of Or~on S.Head with a copy Of
which you are herewith server and which has bee4,
filed in the office Of he cprE If the Clnui Court
FIR Renosha County. at his Office, in the city Of
hen"sha, and 0 servea copy Of your answer on us
az GU: Office, in thus city and county IF Ken0sha,
and State OF Wisconsin, within twenty days after
the service hereof exclusive of the day of such
service and if you fail TO answer the complaint
aforesaid, the said ORION ~ cad wiz apply 10 the
Court Tor the reref demanded in the complaint
Dated February h, 1874
Head Il Quarles. Plaintiffs Attorneys.
6w39 .t4 Kenosha Wisconsin,