Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-09-24

Soundings on a bar-Rapping for
drinks.
Strained sweetness--Kissing through
q vail.
A crying shame-Our neighbor's
young one.
The pound of Hesh-Making tough
steak tender.
The cause of woman sufirage-The
scarcity of husbands.
Boston claims to have enjoyed the
coolest August since 1886.
A fashionable lady says her hus.
band is the latest thing out.
Chicago has sixty banks, but some
of 'em do their business after sunset.
Although woman's age is un-
deniably her own,. she docs not own
it.
A "base' bail atch.-When the
players "hx the game beforehand
for money"
Mosquitoes begin to realize that
Il they are to have any fall trade
''now is their time"
They are so lazy in certain city in
Kansas that they spell the nfme OF
the place "11-worth."
A spectacular drama, founded on
Web.ter's dictionary. unabridged, is
in course of preparation.
An apple weighing twenty nine
and half ounces, has been grown
by Nebraska pomologist.
This is sad. A Louisiana minister
says he won't change his shirt till tins
Beecher business is settled.
Talking Of oarsmen, John Paul
saws it's q great thing nowadays to be
"a gentleman and n sculler.
An eastern debating society IS try
ing to settle which is tie hardest TO
keep, diary or an umbrella.
A cremation society in New York
think they will be able to dispose of
the dead tor the small sum of s5
each.
A darkey's instructions for putting
on coat we're, "FirSt de right arm,
den de left, den give one general con-
wulsion."
At Florence there il grapevine
from one root on which 5000 bunch
cs OF grapes have been counted this
summer.
A New Hampshire woman, when
diving. made her husband swear that
he would never marry woman with
sharp nose.
The man who is reported TO have
built the first "mnibu. in New York
was married recently. lie is seven
ty.three years old.
Not infrequentiy, as high rs eigh-
tv carloads ot tea are chUckng
ong at one time, on the Pacific
Railroad, bound east.
One good trait in Brooklyn young
ladies is. that they don't dare To sass
their parents much before the age Of
thirteen or fourteen years.
There are now toui competitors
for the tide of Nathan murderer
These parties should he hung upon
their own confession, and give others
q chance.
Nothing appeals more TO the sym
pathes OF Kind hearted person than
the spectacle OF starved dog, sitting
on the ragged end Of anxiety, watt
ing for a bone.
A Minnesota minister, who ssid
that the grasshOpPers were a plague
sent to punish the grangers, is coming
east to find another pulpit. They
couldn't believe hin.
Little Johnnie i. dead, but before
his spirit was waited TO the angeiz,
he requested that a water melon vine
might be allowed to wanGer at will
over his green grave, that it might be
warning to future generations.
"Did anything about the defend
ant strike your eye as remarkable ?
asked the judge Of the plaintiff in
case OF assault arG battery. at die.
YOUR honor" and what was it!'
continued the Judge. oils net, yer
honor"
The clergyman in Chicago, who
was recently arraigned upon acharee
of smoking too many cigars, has been
acquitted. The Rev. DR.. Dandy, 50
the investigators decided, sInoKos
Just enough cigars, and those only OF
perfectly orthodox brands.
"You are good lite boy" said
SUNDAY School teacher - sturdy
lad "you never Use naughty words"
"No. ] don't was the honest re
ply "but when my big bg brother
takes all the gravy AID ieayes me
the crust think damn goed deal, |
tell you"
At a secfe! meeting Of the jersey
City PRESBYTERIAN church. OF which
Mr. Glendenning, the alleged sedu-
Ger of the late Mary l.. Pomeroy, i
pastor, dissolution Of the church
organization was resolved upcD.
They deem this measure a. the short
est one to get rid Of very Dad bar
gain.