The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1874-05-30

A young lady contributor to the Ameri.
can Register Of London, having recently
perused an interesting work entitled, "ThC
Young Woman Guide, is moved to make
some very sensible comments thereupon
In the work in question, there was, she
says, one short chapter, headed Show to
Behave Daring COurtship," which very
sensibly directed the young lady not to
seem as if she expected the proposal till it
came, not to sit in corners with the gentle.
man, and never to allow him to squeeze
her hand till she was engaged to him.
There was another one, still shorter, devo-
ted to "How to Choose Husband" like
the passages in Housekeeper's Manuals,
headed "How to Choose Fish" allow to
Choose Mutton treating the subject
in an apologetic way, as II marriage were
a species of accidental evil, which every
well-rcgulated young woman should do her
best to avoid; but if by chance it came,
like the small pox or measles, in spite Of
every preventive measure, she was to put
up with it and behave as well as her un-
fortunate circumstances permitted. Such
rs it was, however, it gave highly valuable
advice, and to any young lady who is de-
sirous Of wedding the seven cardinal vir-
tues incarnate, can recommend no better
husband than the pattern one set forth in
those judicious pages Still, l cannot help
having lurking fear that he would re-
main husband on paper only, and that
the manageable damsels Of the present
day might seek far and wide amongst the
degenerate successors Of Sir Charles Gran.
olson and Celebs, in search Of wife, be-
fore they would find any more such walk
ing seraphs in swallow-tails. An angel to
cook for you and an angel to court you are
alike, l fear, impossible tropaiiies.
1t occurred to me, however, that though
the husband described in that interesting
little work was altogether "too bright and
good for human natures daily food" still
it was certainly within the limits of "a
tional aspiration to improve little on the
very imperfect type of lord, master and
protector, that our young ladies' are obliged
to love, honor aud obey, taute de mieur.
The idols feet of clay will peep out, my
dear child, though with woman's intense
desire to fall down and worship blindly
something, no matter what, you cover them
up in cloth of gold and embroidery, and
endeayor to obfuscate your own eyes with
the clouds of the incense you burn before
his 0mnipoteneeship 1t is an exceeding
ly difficult thing to look up to a man. as
demi-god who swears because his beefsteak
is not saignant, or because his eggs are
hard-boiled, or who comes home ut 2 A.
NJ. slightly the worse for brandy smashes
and mint juleps, or who appears at the
opera in the rear of some resplendent
creature, lovely with Eau Blonde, Bloom
Of Roses, and Noir de Cirsassie, il is diff
cult, ! say, to PROSTATE yourself in meek
and adoring reverence, as the good books
about the duties Of wives say you should,
at the shrine Of such fetish. But what is
to be done2 You would not marry per-
feet man ifyou could; if you came across him
you would run mile from him--you like
those men best who are sure to make bad
husbands that is the simple fact and
there is no help for it. Let me tell you
something in point One day | was per-
ambulating down certain thoroughfare
in London, and beheld in shop-window,
in brilliant array, lovely pots Of jam, with
gorgeous labels, all pink and white and
green. like the French high art paintings
that one sees at the annual expositions
Moreover, those pots of jam were exactly
Id. cheaper each than could be got In any
other shop in London that i knew Of.
Now, l confess it, il have one greater
weakness than another, il is a weakness
for jam, and rather fatter myself upon
having preserved intact that unsophistica-
ted taste Of childhood. The labels were
30 pretty / felt sure the jam must be some
thing ''scrumptious," SO in | walked and
ordered home goodly batch. Arrived at
home, l FASTENED to Drag Of my lucky find,
but alas my triumph was short-lived.
One pot after another was opened, and
proved to be nothing but a conglomeration
Of stalks, leaves, and nondescript debris.
In vulgar parlance, l had been done,
We'll, as chose my jam, so do you choose
your partners, your 'muiRns," your hus-
bands, by their exteriors, aud when, hay
ing made your bargains, you arc quietly
repenting them, the only consolation can
see for You is this, matrimony--like afiic-
ton, was meant as wholesome discipline,
and as il Is the best people who are always
plagued the most Of this life, 50 Il is the