Litchfield enquirer., 1874-08-27
CLIPPINGS

l. CLIPPINGS v ~ - dun. - 5'-'-'4 '' f'1 "@' First law eofd graTity4anever tangh at. your own jokes. ee s1sm8e-cs Iai d1.
 Epitaph for Cannibal- -''One who lov- ed his fellow-men. . IT. - S-s.l,t ,7'
 Never use prefane, language in the cars. Go out on the platform. Profanity is never thrown awayio on q brakesman
 A New Haven paper offers to exchange six new Poems on Spring for a bottle of cough syrup. 4l j.. 3Ir,.) r9.f3.si -.
 'Can you return my love, dearest Julia?" Certainly Sir! don't want it, j I'm sure" 1ij8 - 7 ilE .H9i'ihH12 H5 ...J sge i} ~4lrey sG5 tu -PaI4I ! ae Dubuque surrounds its dead with pleas ant memor1es, by laying ont race- course around cemetery. -aa.rs [ z..5 c5 A Buffalo editor never takes time by the back hair. He simply casts the eye of his mind across the chasm of centuries. . vz It IS said the new converts. at bald Mountain have gone back to card-playing since the volcano proved failure Ts'lo s'I wouldn't have left, hut tho people kinder egged me on, said man who was asked why he quit his Kansas homo in q hurry. - ~ '+ '5A-.i ..l.s '' -isa.r ? A man in Weston, Mo, fired in the dark at a man who WAS stealing his corn, and next day the county sheriff was around with his arm in sling ,r A weary New York journalist ventures to suggest to the parties in the Brooklyn scandal that the fare to Liverpool has been reduced to $15. r@ ' t.-.,.
 Beware of contracting friendship with surgeons. When you most require their services they will probably cut you.
 It is moro difficult to frame an excuse than an oil painting, though they are both works of the Imagination.
 An English boy, on being asked, tho other day, who was Prime Minister of England, answered, without hesitation, ''Mr. Sturgeon.
 A farmer, when fiageaating two of his unrnly boys, was asked what he was ,do- ing. 'Ihreshing wild oatsr' was the re- ply. E.-- s-..-e......-r.- ..ry,..
 A section of the Naugatuck railroad about mile long below Winsted is to be raised four feet to prevent damage from freshets. The work will cost about $1O,- 900. >.lr.,..a-s -fi., s.: ,h.h1lE W 7.
 George Elliot is offered GIG, ,0oO for the novel she is now engaged in We don't want to underbid anybody, but we are a little pushed for money just now and will dash off a novel for 99, ,OOO
 
 The following advertisement appeared recently in an English paper: ''St, James's Church-On Sunday next the afternoon service will commence at half past three and continue until further notice" ..--
 Simeon Gray. of Port Hope, Del, shot himself because some one left baby on his doorstep. How much better to have picked up the infant and softly handed it along to the house around the corner ! iSi#
 A Cincinnati reporter says that there is something grand in pair of runaway horses, but we believe that good deal depends on whether man is on Q fence or trying to climb over the end board of the wagon.
 Pride takes an early start in San Fran cisco. When lad breaks loose from his mothers apron strings and secures a posi- tlon at three dollars per week, the first thing he does after that is to hire China man to run errands for him.
 smart woman-:'Doctor, what do you think of women for doctors?" '~.
 Doctor They are invaluable, madam, to our profession. We derive two-thirds of our income from them" ..-. ..'.-
 Milwaukee SentineI:-"It is not our fault that we are red-headed and small: and the next time one of those overorown rural roosters in ballroom reaches down for our head, and suggests that some fel- low has lost rosebud out of his button hole, there will be trouble" .
 A worthy Scotch farmer was greatly ex ercised regarding the safety of his hay crop. The weather, though often threat ening, favored his efforts till he succeed ed in getting 1t safely gathered in, being III this respect more fortunate than sever- al of his neighbors. After seeing the last wisp of straw tied round his staeks. he ex- claimed, with a self-satisfed air-'Noo, sin hae gotten my hay a safe in, think the warld would be greatly the better O q gnid shower ..' -.s0-s.',sa r.' -.-t
 The whirling of time has been at work NAo"1A h1OuOAA OuAAAhS5 lAIHSS upSlu0 dOWD, until now North Carolina editor tells of what he calls ga case of peculiar horror, ill Charlotte, where a white woman, whose husband was killed in the Confederate service, is' now serving in Q colored family as cook, and her girl, ten years old, as scullion. We'll, this is hard, sure enough but there is one comfort in it-probably the white help" gets paid something.
 Should I coldly defend myself. or should l throw contempt upon Mrs. Til ton for having thrown her affection upon me unsought?" Manly honor would in- stinctively suggest the right course. O, Beecher! Beeeher! It is the old story of the Garden over again, '"rhe woman did it. "-Neoo Haveaa Register ."
 It was ''darling George when a bridal couple left Omaha; it was 'tdear George" at Chicago; at Detriot it was ''George;" and when they reached Niagara Falls it was, 'Say, you" -s..4 ;. ,.q ,,... ...s.s