Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1874-04-09

which my learned friend had we'll nigh
come to blows with the university'f
most celebrated professor.
At last heard they wore again in
London, and, full of enthusiasm, dartct'
round the corner to welcome them
home. Nobody was with them but Mrs:
Hanway, Winifred's mother. I would
enter unannounced and surprise the
philosopher. entered unannounced.
and was surprised myself.
of foreign travel? Each occupant OF the
room was engaged in an exercise wholly
unconnected, as it seemed, with those
of the rest. My friends wife, the lady
whom I had almost loved, queen Of all
grace and comeliness, was appearing
and disappearing like a flash behind
the days Times, showing at the mo-
ments of disclosure face flushed with
excitement, and lustrous coils of hair
tumbled into the widest disorder, while
she accompanied the whole perform
ance with strange and inarticulate
sounds. Her mother, tho same Mrs.
Hanway who was 80 perfect model Of
dress and carriage that many Of he1
Lady friends were wont TO lament among
themselves that she gave herself such
airs, was seated on the floor, dressed
for walking, but without her bonnet.
Yes, she was certainly drumming on an
inverted tea-tray with the wrong end Of
the poker. And the philosopher ? 1t
was perplexing, after three years sepa
ration, to meet him thus. The phil0s.
opher was cantering round the room on
all fours, wearing on his head his own
waste paper basket. Briskly he can
tered round, ever and anon friskinglike
lamb in spring time, until he reached
my feet, which were rooted to the spot
with astonishment. He glanced up
sideways, rose with cry to the normal
altitude of man and grasped me by the
hand. At the sound of his voice, his
wife, dropping the paper from her
hands, raised them quickly to her hair
and his mother-in-law, with as much
dignity as the effort would allow, scram-
bled on her feet. Then, in an instant,
the cause of their eccentric conduct was
made clear. Throned on the hearth
rug, and showing by gracious smile a
few Of the newest teeth, sat fine baby
of some Is months. In one dimpled
fist was tightly clenched the brush
which had so neatly arranged the moth
er's braids, while the other was en-
gagged in pounding the grandmother
best bonnet into q shapeless mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed
except the baby. The ladies knew they
were untidy, and I that I was an in
truder. As for the learned father, he
stood now on one leg and now on the
other, while he shifted the waste-paper
basket from hand to hand and continued
to smile almost as perseveringly as his
amiable offspring. Yet it was he who
at last put an end to our awkward po-
sition BY expressing wild desire to
have my opinion of the new curtain in
his study. Rather sheepishly I said
good-by to the lady of the house, trying
to express by my eyes that I would
never call again unannounced. knew
that Mrs. Hanway had not forgiven me
as I humbly took the two fingers that
she offered ; and I felt like a brute as
the most important member of the fam
lily condescended to leave q damp spot
by the edge of my left whisker.
When, however, I had been swept
downstairs by my impulsive friend,
and was alone with him in his den, my
courage returned, and with it some in
dignation. I confronted him, and
sternly asked why I had not been told
he was father? "Not been told?" he
echoed !; "do you mean to say that you
did not know about the baby?" "Not
80 much as that it was,' I replied,
gloomily. He was overwhelmed; 81
course he had supposed that everybody
knew it from the Queen downwards. Oh
course fifty people ought to have told
me, who Of course had told me every.
thing else. At last my curiosity 20,
the better of my indignation, and I cut
short his apologies by beginning my
questions,-"Does the shape Of it,
head content you?'' I asked. "Tht
shape of whose what ?" cried the philos'
opher, apparently too surprised fol
grammar. "Of the baby's head, o1
course" I replied tartly; II merely
wish to know if the child is likely to bt
as intellectual as you hoped" "Isn1
the hair lovely?" he asked, inconsist.
emily. This was too much, and assum
ing my severest manner, I delivered
myself in this wise: "Ithought, though
no doubt I was wrong, that the use Of .
baby to you would be partly to furnish
you with raw material fora philosopher
partly to enable you, by constant OBJ
servation, to gain further evidence OF
such vexed questions az whether the in
FAINT gathers it's ideas of space by feel
ing about, whether it is conscious O
itself, etc" 'Well, he said, laughing
II don't expect much help from my
infant in these matters, unless I can ge
inside her and think her thoughts.
"Her thoughts?" cried /, in amusement
lyon don't mean tosay it's q girl? Goot
graciousl you are not going to educat,
q female philosopher" He looked rath
or vexed. "Of course it's q girl" b,
said. "The father of q female philoso
pher," I gasped. "Dear me I" he said
somewhat testify; "isn't it enough t,
be the father of a noble woman?"
Now, I have often put up with
great deal from my learned friend. an,
am quite aware that have beenspoke,
Of as "Bozzy" behind my back. Blu
there is . turning point even for tn
worm, and nobody will sit forever a
the feet which are constantly kickinl
him. I had been snubbed more thai
once by this illogical parent, and, a.
Stunning my most sarcastic manner,
inquired with an appearance of defer
ence els it not rather early to speal
of your daughter as noble woman?''
"Not at all, said the philosopher.
| I had kept aloof front the philosophe
for some weeks, nursing my wrath, ik
! Achilles, I said to myself-cross as
bear, I overheard my landlady say i,
the passage when received a hast
note begging me to come to him q
once. fancied myself summoned to
council of chiefs ; SO, having donne
NV ahininc armnr left NV fonk rzif