St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1874-11-13
Squibs.

\ revolver-Tho earth.
y health ift-The elevator.
shocking scene Kerosene.
Go to work should he all the 60
Hop merchants Dancing masters.
An era unknown to womcu-the mid
die ages.
There is never Il scarcity of the
small potato crop.
Where to 90 when short of money
." to work.
The earliest participants in the fall
trade Adam and Eve
Dental science is called Tooth car
pentry aS Il fine art"
Speaking OF the nations Wards, Ar
temu> WAS one of them.
"Bcckic. my dear. you were Il good
little girl to-day" "Irs'm, | couldn't
help bein' good. | got Il tin neck"
The genius who is to invent Il practi-
cal substitute for work has not yet been
born and never will he.
The editor of the Cape Ann Adver-
ti>cI SAYS that :. clean shirt is one of
womtm'> best gifts to man
In Texas they have nominated for
Congress ii man named Pleasant Yell.
If elected. he will probably he heard
from in the House.
If ii man really wants to find out
what's in him let him go To sea. The
first rough weather will generally ell
able him to ascertain it.
Men who travel barefoot around il
newly caIpcted hed-room often find
themselves on the wrong tack.
Another minister has tlllcn-ths time
III Philadelphia. He trod upon il peach
skin. His statement was very brief.
AlahamianS are very prompt in pay
l. bets which have been lost on horse
races. but when it comes To settling for
pew rent they get mad if they are
pushed. DcfroH Press.
Henry Godnose Bailey is the name
of a boy III Springfield, o. If we were
Nour paIiemt. Henry. Godnose we'd
knock N"ur middle name out OF you.-
Tin. Times.
The latest Sunday school prodigy,
having listened Ia "A discourse on the
necessity of offering Il firm front to the
evil one. said he'd ''be scared of the
old devil. but. if he came across one of
the little ones he'd knock the stutfin
ont of him"
Ben Cox has hig farm and ii big lot
of fine hens. The owls have been 'go-
ing tor" Ben's hens. Ben got pole,
split it at one end. and inserted sharp
-clthr blade for the owls to light upon
when they came for hens. Ben put it
up the other night To try it. The next
morning he Went out and gathered
about Il gallon of owl toes, and he
d"r>n't miss amy more hens now
An Ohio constable has absconded
With the sum of 1925. DO not, gentle
reader. turn up your nose. for it was all
the public money he could get hold of.
Gartcr> with monogram clasps are
now all the fashion with pretty girls.
The style i said to he convenient and
elegant. and we hope to see more of it.
Stanley is going To take Il Bible
weighing twenty y-two pounds into Africa
with him. and if Il handle can bc at
tachcd To it. it will prove most de
StructiNe weapon.
When widow i'll any neighborhood
SETS her cap for il Young man, there isn't
one chance i'll Il million for any young
. Nolllsill lp VIII. ven ii SHE liDluS the
four aces.
Mis-. Nye, of Iowa, can get supper.
split klndliny>, wash the dishes. milk
two COWS and feed the hogs while her
five boys and two girls are playing
game of crOquet.
At IN anti-momop"lN convention at
Iowa, recently. some fellow bawled at
the door ''Candidatcs are requested
to step down stairs Il few minutes"
Then every body went down stairs ex-
ccpt Il deaf old fellow who wanted to
run for .jailcI.
'Coliune il you are living, do re-
turn to Your friends" writes somebody
in the New York Herald. They don't
say what "Corinne" il to do if she is
dead. In that case she is probably cx-
pectcd to reply through the "Corinner" ="
-fhicdJO Inter- ocean.
The >cIndal"u> Washington Chronicle,
RI >ay>: "Whcn Mary Walker reaches
Turkey we hope the Sultan, that abso-
lutte monarch of all he surveys, will
make her take her breeches Off. Mary
won't listen to any such inSultan prop
O>ition.