The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-05-31
A WOMAN THAT COULD BE DEPENDED
on.

A certain lodge of the Independent Orde
Of Odd Fellows determined to have thei
lodge room done up clean and nice. 1t wa
resolved unanimously that Mrs. X. shOul(
be employed to do the job. After the meet
ing adjourned, the Guardian, who knew thu
inquisitive character of Mrs. K, procured q
billy goat and placed him in closet thai
was kept as resi- rvoir for the secret things
He then informed the woman of the wishes
Of the lodge, and requested her to come
Early the next morning, and he would then
| show her what was and what was not to be
done.
Morning came, and with it Madam K
with her broom, brushes, pals, ETC., and
found the Guardian waiting for her.
"Now, madam" he said, :" l will tell you
what we want done, and how we come to
employ you. The brothers said it was di fiji
cult to get anybody TO do the job and n OF
be meddling with the secrets in the closet
we have lost the key and can not find it to
lock the door. l assured them that you can
be depended on"
depended on l guess can. My poor
dead and gone husband he belonged to the
Free Masons or anti-MasOns, | don't know
which. He used to tell me all the secrets of
the concern, and when he showed me all the
marks OF the gridiron, made y len he was
Morgan, never told living soul to this
day; if nobody troubles your closet to find
ont your secrets till do, they will lie there
till they rot, they will"
" l thought So" said the guardian, "and
want you to commence in that corner, and
give the whole room a decent cleaning {;
now don't go into that closet" and then
left the woman to herself
No sooner had she heard the sound of
his feet on the last step of the stairs than
she exclaimed:
Don't go into that closet. I'll warrant
there's gridirOn, or some nonsense, just
like the anti Masons, for all the world, I'll
be bound. I'll take one peep, and no one
will be the wiser, as can keep it to myself"
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closet, and
turned the button, which was no sooner
done than "bah" went the billy goat, with
spring to regain his liberty, which came
near upsetting her ladyshp. Both started
for the door, but it was filled with nipple
ments for house cleaning, and all were
swept clear from their position down to the
bottom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned by
such unceremoniOus coming down the stairs,
drew halt the town to witness Mrs. KS eff
forts to get from under the pile of pals,
buDS, UIOOulS anu UIuSueS Ill Uut street.
Who should be the first at the spot but
the rascally doorkeeper! After releasing
the goat, which was a cripple for life, and
uplifting the rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth, he anxiously inquired
If she had been taking the degrees.
Taking the degrees! If you call
tumbling from the top to the bottom of the
stairs, with the devil after you, taking
things by degrees, l have them, and if We
brighten folks as We have frightened me, and
hurt to boot, I'll warrant they will make as
much noise as did"
= hope you didn't open the closet,
madam" said the dOorkeeper
open the closet? Eve ate the apple she
was forbidden. If you want woman to do
anything, tell her not to do it, and she II do
it certain. l could not stand the tempta-
ton. The secret was there. | wanted to
know it. | opened the door, and out pop |
ped that tarnal critter right into my face. |
thought the old boy had me, and l broke |
Tor the stairs with the critter butting me
1t every jump. l fell over the tub, and |
got down stairs, as you found us, all in a |
leap."
"But, madam" said the door-keeper,
you are in possession of the great secret
II our order, and must 90 up to be initiated |
md sworn. and then 60 In in the regular
way"
Irregular way" exclaimed the lady, "and
10 you suppose l am going near the tarnal
'lace, and ride that ar tarral critter with
nut bride or lady's saddlee No, never.
don't want nothing to do with the man
hat rides it. I'd look nice perched upon
lilly goat, wouldn't l. No. never. / will
lever go nigh it again, and if can prevent
t, no woman shall join the Odd Fellows!
Why, I'd sooner be Free Mason, and be
rolled on a gridiron as long as the fire
onld be kept under it, and pulled from gar
ct and cellar, just as was my poor dead
usband. And he lived over it, but never
ould live over such another ride as took
O-day."