The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1874-03-06
WIT AND HUMoR.


The best substitute for coal
Warm weather.
How to become practically &C
quainted with the Rule of Three
Live with your wife, mother and
mother in-law
Since the hard times struck Me-
vada, they have raised tina price Of
killing Cinnamon to seven dollars.
In a breach of promise case at
Fort Wayne the lover was convicted
of writing "mi hart beets oanley for
the, my darling huney."
A Milwaukee woman, seven feet
high, hangs her four-toot husband at
her waist-belt as an ornament, like
young ladies do their umbrellas.
"Killed by visitation of Provi.
dence through the medium Of a
horse" was the coroner's verdict in
the case of a Georgia man who was
kicked to death.
Marietta boys like work when it
is disguised as fun. The other day,
while out hunting, half dozen of
them handled over thirty five cords
Of wood to get at a rabbit, which es-
capped after all.
7 A New Orleans paper boasts that
that city can produce to the square
yard, more young men who part
their hair in the middle, wear canes
and daily air themselves in front Of
bar-rooms, than most cities Of its
size.
A Marietta minister said in a pull
oil discourse that he had seen a pack
Of cards and backgammon board
of member of his church, and af-
ter services that night several pious
men scolded their wifes carelessnees.
A fop wishing to excite the high
or sentiments Of his lady love, and
turn her mind to the contemplation
| Of noble themes, said: "Maris, what
do you suppose was hundred
years agof" To which Maria re-
| sponded, "Just what you are now -
nothing at ALL
A genteel appearing loafer ad-
dressed an insulting remark to la
dy ofTroy, N, Y. She had pal
Of yeast ia her hand, and answered
1 bis impertinence with dash Of the
lively liquid which covered him from
head to foot. His friends now re-
gard him as o rising young man.
To take out an advertisement
to practice economy, is like putting
goods in an old shanty In the SUI
burbs of town to keep from paying
rent.
Scrub-aristocracy il the title APP
Piled to those who assume impor-
lance in proportion to the amount d
money they have. A Suggestive
term, truly.
Never blow ont your lamp with,
out lowering the wick. If you do
you will find your lamp next day
| covered with oil, brought up by ca.
pilliary attraction. This cannoI
| happen If the end Of the wick Is be-
low the level or the burner.
1t is written on the sky, ON tbs
pages Of the sir, says the Orientals,
that good deeds shall be done to him
who does good deeds to others.
A colored woman near Doves de.
pot, in Darlington county, q few
days ago, gave birth to four living
children.
/ The Florida air is redolent with
the perfume of sweet flowers, while
the merry jingle of the sleigh bell is
heard all over the North.
Four men were out deer hunting
near Francisville, Ind, on the 7th
inst, and one Of them was mistaken
for o deer and shot dead by another
of the party.
A singuiarly painful circumstance
attended the death of q Cobb county
gentleman. Last year he made ar
agreement with his wife to the eff
feet that should she kindle the fire
MORNINGS for six months, he would
do it for the same length of ti0e.--
She had just completed her part O
the contract when be died. 1t i
! very sad affair.