The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1874-01-10
From Saturdays Daily Herald

THE "Heathen Chinee" is among us,
il the sign on laundry wagon may be
relied upon.
THERE is firm in this city who are
turning out ''floats" that cannot be ex-
celled anywhere in the United States.
SOME men should either carry bricks
in their coat-tail pockets, or set their
patches underneath to correspond with
the color of their pants.
ABOUT three hundred wives in this
city have been after our jewelers. for
that Elgin watch, whose hands take
man by the collar at nine o'clock and
walk him home.
IT is contemplated, we learn, by
gentleman fully competent, to open a
Commercial College in our city. Due
notice of the opening of the school
will be given in our advertising col
umns.
STACKED in front of J. w. Schenck's
agricultural warehouse, yesterday, were
large invoice of pumps, which the
obliging head of the house informed us
were cucumber pumps" Cucumber
pumps Well, that pumps us.
ONE of those "wild Texas steers"
whose froliclsOme deeds the st. Louis
editors are so fond of ventilating,
charged upon red flannel shirt hang
ing OF. fence, up town yesterday, and
made the onslaught with such force as
to break one of its horns entirely of,
and now that bovine has to be satisfied
with what some men wouldn't be If
they had to break their necks, viz.
one horn.
THE express train on the Pacific
road was an hour and half behind
time Last night, owing to the tender of
the engine getting its back up and
going for the engineer and stoker with
its bumper. The engineer and stoker
finally persuaded the tender not to in
sist upon making an Internal fool of
itself, but to come along like polite
and well-raised tender, which it con-
Guided to do.
SEEING the futility, yesterday, of
trying to mount an illy-trained
horse by the stirrup, the owner caught
him firmly by the ears, and springing
over his head to his back, made an
agile turn of his body which brought
him right about, and gathering up the
reins of the skittish steed, he had him
under docile control before the animal
had time to understand the novel eX-
pertinent adopted in gaining the mas
terry over him.
A FEMALE niger left her residence
in this city the day before Christmas
without the maternal commander of
the mansion knowing anything about
it, and just got back yesterday. There
was no extra bacon and corn bread on
the table in honor of that prodigal fe-
males return, but the old woman just
naturally wore her into perspiration
with a dashboard, and menaced her,
ifshe ever did that over, with the ra-
diant promise of passing her through a
cornsheller.
AS A gentleman was coming up Main
street yesterday afternoon, carrying
sac de INIT, he having just arrived
from st. Louis, he was approached by
boy who asked him to let him carry
it for him. The gentleman consented,
and while the boy walked on ahead,
the owner of the carpet bag feeling
dry concluded to dampen his '..bellows,"
and stepped in saloon for that pur-
pose. On coming out he looked around
In vain forthe carpet bag and the little
boy, who up to the present time have
not returned He likes Dallas, but he
is compelled to adjudge the ways of
some of its youth as mournfully pc
c,Iliar.
Sheriff Barkley took under his official
wing yesterday, twenty-six head of cat
tie, which had been stolen some eigh-
teen miles east of this city. They were
placed in the cattle-pen of the Central
road by the thieves, who afterwards
arranged with the same road for their
transportation North, but the facts be-
: coming known to the Sheriff, 1t occur
red to that functionary that he would
see little after the destination of
those cattle himself, and over them he
at once slapped Sheriff's egis.
We are very full of the belief, that If
this owning of other peoples stock,
without acquiring that right either by
gift or paying for them, don't stop,
somebody's neck VIII pull hemp.