davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

Old Mr. Collamore is very deaf.
The other Sunday, in the midst of
the services, Mr.. Hof, who sits i'm
mediately behind Mr.. Collamore,
saw q spider travelling over the lat
ter's bald head. His first impulse
was to nudge him and tell him
about ii t.; but he remembered that
Collamore was deaf, so he lifted up
his hand and brushed the spider off.
Hoff didn't aim quite high enough,
and consequently, in his nervous
ness, he hit Collamore quite Sc
we're blow; the old man turned
around in a rage to see who had
dared to take such q liberty with
him, and Hoff began to explain
with gestures the cause OF the &C.
currence. But Collamore, in a
loud voice, demanded what he
meant. 1t was very painful to Hotf.
The eyes of the whole congrega-
ton were upon him, and he grew
red in the face, and in desperation
exclaimed: "There was spider on
your head !" "a white place on my
head, hey S'posen there is, what's
that 10 you 7" said Collamore.
you'll know what it is to he bald
headed yourself, some day." at
was a spider" shrieked Hotf, while
the congregation smiled, and the
perspiration began to roll of his
face. Certainly it's wider" said
Collamore, 'and got more in it than
yours. But you let it alone-do
YOU mindi You let my head alone
in church" "Mr. Collamore,'
shrieked Hof, "there was bug on
your head, and brushed it Off
this way," and Hof made another
gesture at Collamore's head. The
old man thought he was going &c
fight him then and there, and hurl-
ing his hymn-book at Hoff, be seiz-
ed the kneeling-stool on the floor
of the pew, and was about TO bang
Mr.. Hoff, when the Sexton inter
fered. An explanation was written
on a hy-leaf of the hymn-book,
whereupon Mr.. Collamore apologize
ed in a boisterous voice, and re-
sumed his seat. Then the services
proceeded. They think of asking
Mr.. Collamore 10 worship else
where.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

The following is an instance of
the several claim" style of Western
reportorial description: Yesterday
morning a boy sauntered up to a
yard on Eighth street, where q
woman was scratching the bosom of
the earth with rake, and. leaning
on the fence, said, "Are you going
round the back yard after while p
The woman said she didn't know /;
maybe she would. Why! BE
cause" the boy said, Il just saw
the cistern lid drop on the baby's
head a minute ago, and ! thought
if you went around you might lift
it off" 1t is currently reported
that the woman went.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

"Tbe strength of the American
republic" says a writer, lis in the
universal desire TO own house. 1t
is moulding all the people, native
and foreign born into one homogen-
Gus mass. The ownership of a
house is something of which neith-
err the Irish peasant nor the Ger
man laborer has, in his own coun-
try, any conception; but it is here
the goal of his hopes and desires.
Education comes next; it Is q
something the need of which is not
felt until the adoraments Of home
are thought of. This desire TO own
the roof under which one sleeps is
distinctively an American charac-
teristic, and seems by nature adap-
ted TO the growth which is raising
us in importance in the scale of ma
tons"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A boatman on the Mississippi
river tells the following: A poor
chap was going down the river in a
dug-out, and had been informed Of
n certain locality called Kicks
Bend, which was eighteen miles
around, and in one place about a
hundred yards across. He was ad-
vised to land CT the narrow point
and drag his craft over, but passed
the spot going down without OBJ
serving it, and padding on eighteen
miles around, he struck the other
side. Landing a. o-ce, be dra-ved
his boat across, and went gliding
along down with q light heart, IL
be came along within . few PAGES
Ct TIE SPOT where be dra--e6
1-ross before. Thinking il was q
lev eu1-oi- hs went ashore Ind
dr-IEzsG lie boat yver arGIr.. y men
lie rJf BACK 70 tns river second
1Ime hs sauutered around Z lirtie 10
B-reteh himself, and soon discovered
al old newspaper, out Of winch he
had taken ms breakfast AZ Tia,
morning i was now ABOUT sun
down, aud az lac had padded thir
ty-six miles without hattering pro
gress, he scuttied ms dug-out witt
Q hatchet, built o camp, and waited
TIL next day Tor q steamboat.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

They tell queer story about the
doctors in certain Texas town,
who were all away last summer to
attend a medical convention. They
were absent about two months, and
on their return found all their pa
tients had recovered, the drug
stores had closed, the nurses had
opened dancing schools, the Gem
ctery was cut up into building lots,
the undertakers had gone to max
ing fddles. anl the hearse had been
painted and sold for q circus was-
on.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

Among the high Alps, early in
thc year, the traveller is told in GER
tain places to proceed as quietly a.
possible. On the steep slopes over
head the snow hangs 30 evenly bal
anced that the sound of the voice,
the crack of a whip, the report of a
gun, or the detachment of a SNOW
ball, may destroy the equilibrium
and bring down an immense avail
anche that will overwbelm every
thing within its reach in ruin. APP
plying these illustrations of the
physical weird to the condition of
society around us, are there not
many whose moral character is so
unstable, whose principles are so
unfixed, who are so evenly balanced
between good and evil that a word,
look, may incline them to one
side or the other, and produce eff
fects that will alter the color and
nature Of their whole future exis-
tence.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

The ways Of women are past find
ing out. Il is said that the Indies
Of Jacksonville, Tenn, have . fash
ion Of tying up their taper fingers
when the Young men are expected
10 cal. and when they very natural
y ask the caDse, they blushinsly
reply. 4 burned them boiling the
steak tins morning The result,
a. ehrouieled 10y the local paper, Is
that several young gentlemen have
burned their fingers 10y believing
the story.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

The ST. Peter AduertiSer saws :
One Of the. principal men Of St.
Paul and Sioux City Railway got
on the morning express last week.
The conductor had never seen him,
and consequently did not know
who the gentleman with The gold
headed cane was IN a moment az
ter the train started the conductor
passed through, and, among others
he patted the railway capitalist on
the shoulder and said:
HYour ticket sir Z"
The capitalist looked up at the
conductor and said:
Il carry my ticket in my face"
Again the conductor demanded
hs ticket, when the capitalist said
as follows:
Il tel You, SIR, ! carry my ticket
IN my face at the same time pat
ting bis cheek with his left hand.
"very well" said the conductor,
placing himself in a Heenan atti-
tude and pushing up his sleeves.
"My orders are TO punch all tick
cts, and here goes yours"
How Messrs. settled the matter
our reporter failed to learn.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A Corning Iowa. youth paid his
attention to two young ladies and
proposed marriage 10 both. They
found out about it, invited him 10
the house OF one of them, and
asked him TO take a seat between
them, which be did, sitting down
IN tub Of water over which a
covering was nicely spread. He
mo not stay great while after
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A paper out West wants modern
improvements working into school
books, and offers the following as
samples that would be up TO the
spirit of the age:
.Here Is man. He is n fireman
he belongs TO No. 10. IL You are a
good boy you viii some day be an
angle, like that fireman. They
.omctimcs get their hcads broken.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A New York man who believes
in advertising, paid a bill of $4,000
the other day for years work, but
it was money well spent, for the
earnings resulting from that adver-
tisement, which were divided among
four persons, footed up s650,O00.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A cockney tourist met with a
Scotch lassie going barefoot toward
Glasgow. "Lassie," said he, II
should like to know if all the people
in these parts so barefooted T.
Part of them do, and the rest Of
them mind their own business was
the reply.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

To see how eagerly human be-
ing will catch at straw, it is not
necessary to witness a drowning.
The phenomenon in now manifest
chiefly within saloons, where one
end of the straw is immersed in a
tumbler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

How do Won pass your oven
ingS r. inquire one drygoo Is nan
OF another. "Well, at night i store
nv mind and during the day |
mind my store" "And how do
Won collect Your debts Z" 81 write
them, if they won't ohlige me by
paying, I'll obliSe them to pay me.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A Nebraska journal invitingly
says: "Who says farmers cannot
get rich in this State Fifteen
years ago young man came TO the
State without a dollar in the world.
Last week he went out Of the State
carrying with him the sum Of one
dollar and thirty-eigbt cents, the
savings Of fifteen years Of frugal
life. Come West, young man,
come West"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

An old lady with large family,
living near river, was asked II
she did not live in constant fear
that some of her children would be
drowned. "Oh, no. she replied,
we have only lost three or four in
that way
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

a man who was seen coming out
of a Texas newspaper office with n
split nose, with one eye and with
one ear, explained to policeman
that he only entered the office TO
inquire if the editor was in. "And
he was in" the victim mournfully
added.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

"Where was Bishop Latimer
burned to death ?" asked a teacher
in a commanding voice. "Joshut
knows" said little girl at the bot
{ IN of tho class. "Well," said the
teacher. "if Joshua knows, he may
tell" .'In the fire." said Joshua,
looking very grave and wise.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

a good marksman, and l would he
proud of YOU" "Well, then, dad,
| peppered our old Muscovy duck
as he was flying over the fence to-
day, and it would have done you
good to see him drop"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08
] talked with a miniou from BE

] talked with q minion from Her
Maiesty's domlnions. Says j:
Where are you going :"
SAYS he: ITO hide q hoe"
Says /: "What are YOU going to
hide q noe for I"
Says he: 81 did not say 'ide o
'oe. / said hide q hoe"
Say ] /: 'Spell il"
SAYS he: "I-d-a-h-o."
"Yes," saws he, "hide a hoe"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

"Do you see that small boyi He
is good boy, and supports his
mother by selling newspapers. HIS
father don't have to work any more,
now.
"Here is picture of a young
widow. See how sad she looks.
Her husband could not pay her dry
goods bill, and so-he died. Do
you think she will get another man
She will try hard.
"Here is the face of a reporter,
See how joyful he looks. He has
lust heard that a man has cut his
own throat. and he is going for the
item. Should You like to he re-
porter, and get licked on dark
nights, and see dead persons, and
climb up four pairs of stairs =
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

During Col. Tom SCOTS recent
visit 10 st. Louis, he was hailed on
the street 10y q little bootblack
with, "Boss, have your boots shin
ed 2" The colonel pleasantly shook
his head at him saying: my boy,
] am no boss" The little wall
swinging his box over his shoulder,
and cycling the great railroad king
from head TO foot replied: You're
boss Of yer boots, ant yer y.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

If hrooms are wet in boiling suds
once q week, they will become very
tough. and will not cut the carpet
and will last much longer and al
ways sweep like a new broom.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

"What are wages here p asked a
laborer of a boy. Il don't know"
what does your father get on
Saturday night p sect p said the
boy; "why he gets tight"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

dad, II | were TO see a duck ON
the wing, and were TO shoot IL
would you lick mer 30, no, nv
son; IL would show that you were
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-07-08

A false FREUD is like the shadow
on the sun-dial-appearing in sun
shine, but vanishing in shade.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

t. a7uA ,I..|. ..ae ,s,auI au! 7IytuA oi'Suf
~ . ~ h,'s 'dFI n.I -
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26
The Iuscu nm baa Disaster.

TERRIBLE ORDEAL OF sToRM-HoUsEs DEMoI,-
IsHED-scENEs OF MISREPRESENTATION OF A
TRAIN INTO RIVER, DC.
A special dispatch to the New York Times, of
this morning, gives full details of the terrible
visitation OF storm at Tuscunlb:a Ala, which
mns urieny teiegrapned yesterday. We cut from
the following
Sunday evening, shortly after shutdown, =
wlnd-storm OF unprecedented violence struck
the town Of Tuscumbia, and ia the short space
81 two minutes, destroyed upward OF 100 build
lhes, kililns eleven persons outright and
Wounding not less than thirty others. Tuscum-
ba is one of the Oldest town in northern Ala
bama. Its population numbers about 20O0 and
1t has long enjoyed the reputation of being the
center Of one Of the most refined circles in the
South
At shutdown rain began to fall and lightning
was seen in the distance. Shortly after dark
most OF the people were quietly seated around
their supper tables, when suddenly sound like
rushing thunder WAS heard in the street, and
before the terrified Inhabitants were fully aware
or the danger that threatened them, the storm
had passed over. The people whose houses were
uninjured, immediately rushed into the streets
They found men, women and children flying in
all directions, their cries of alarm mingng with
the moaning OF dying animals. Houses were
blown down in many places, and the streets and
roads were everywhere filed with crumbling
walls and shattered timbers.
The dwelling of State Senator Moore WAS
blown down, around which q crowd soon collect
ed, and a call for assistance WAS heard amid the
debris. The crowd set to work and in is min
utes were awarded by finding two little girls, one
hve and the other eight years Of age. One Of
the children was entirely unhurt, and was easily
removed. The other had her arm firmly wedged
in between two beams. hut with courage that
was marvellous in one 80 young, she called out
to the men, Get my mother out, get my moth
er out never mind me-. At last the beams were
cut away and the little one released Diyuipo
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

The sesa, 9' in'iscretion lately sown by the
New York Herald in the publication Of Its wild
animal hoax, some weeks ago, are already ma
turing. Over in Jersey gentleman-Mr. Hem
ry A. II. Martin, who is represented re one Of
the most useful respected and honofea citizens
Of Plainfeld-who was afflicted with heart dis
ease, WAS overcome by the reading OF the ar
ticle that it became necessary for him to seek
his bed, where he soon died, His physician
gave IL as his opinion that death had resulted
from ruptare OF the left side Of the heart. the
immediate cat-.s-being strong mental emotion
produced by the Heralds cruel hoax.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

Il Senator William Sprague, of Rhode Island,
lIving7 II 10, lie will be glad to know doubt
loss, that Delaware has laid to heart the pre-
cepts Of famous speech which he once deliv-
cred in the Senate, and has elected her full Leg.
islatufe, thirty good men and true, all round and
sound, with not lawyer among the number
rhere are farmers and merchants. philosophers
and-noi not any fools we hope-but never a
member of the legal profession. Not one.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

Hon. Alexander II. Stephens weight in
eighty pounds.
The deaths during the past week in New
York were 52l.
Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe has returnhd to
her Winter quarters in Florida.
1t is said that Tennyson has received $780,
011 rr,;m his publishers for the sale OF his po-
ems. ..r D..
A granddaughter o, .Fenimore Cooper IL
soon to be married to granddaughter Of WASH
lngton Irving. ...,.I .,i' -,,aer . J
81 will pillow up the theatre 70 IT. foun4a-
ton," says Dewitt Taluage, lin defiance St ~
earth and hell" en- .... ,rs,1 ~ vi
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

Valise.
John s. Taylor sporn: Live at Oxford nm
no relation to prisoner knew Mackey S or 10
years ago knew Taylor 10 or II years '; Mackey
nyed miles form from me and Taylor about 3
miles they were always friends saw than n
oxford together 8 Or ten days previous to the
Mackey trouble; they were in friendly CONVEX
sation. have seen them frequently topetber
Heorye !. Mdckcy s'ro'm Live in Chester
Co., Pa; am no relation to Robert A. Maekev.
knew Mackoy and Taylor 6 or 4 years; live nboiii
miles from Slackeys father; the relation be-
tween these two men seemed always friendly
John buchanan s,co,n /: Live near Lewisyiie
where Taylor resided and have known him u
years; knew Mackey when saw him; the rels.
tons between Taylor and Mackey we're oood A.
far az know e' m
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

-
ss,s-H.
- a.u.t.- .a,.,,.. A...-. ~. &h.nl. ~
!, n. ..,... ..-r.,,.- -, ~, ~. p..,,u.r,.
-.I-.s-a. s.-. ..,,l. u...,,, 80
p ,..lSL A.....,,,, A.s,,..-
1884,. .,... ~ 49, ,.1..
~ IN. 1.ssssTs ~. "a $780, ~
80 rsr-.--A.-
S.-r- 4 ~. .I - ..tss
e"@"'' - ~ = ''''
Ths Association fsansd ought 70 BE- OF vsans'
and We hope viii b. II Will bring the editors OF
the Peninsula together in that social friendly
way which Always ruhs On the angles aAe
smoothss dDwa tn aspssiseA II Wall give TIM
opportunity 10 compare notes "a TO buAtnes e.
psrience and observation, and TO discuss those
general questions which are Of interest 10 oil
who read their newspaper, such ~ were
taken up 1t sAlisbury-State Union OF the
Ps0iusula, Dsvsiopmsnt Ininigra&ac0. DC.
49, 1..."-'- - -. ..-
" sae A.0''s'.S. A"s .1'.' - =,
~'~. -s 80
$500. wv. Ao1' -. -.,..- H .-.,-.
~ 's..' ,v. $3.50 ''ss-'
~" . -. 80 ...ss,.'.."' - ~
M y. !.
" '1s4
r =, ,s-ar.1... ..'..-.-s.-. . s.-
-, !. N0s.r~
aoa' .o' pio'0ss'oa' s.o s'n's 'uo'' VIM
atsd party hest, laid aside the rancor and bitter
ness which In the younger and cruder age Of
journalism characterized its uttsrAnceA More
dignity and self reliancs has come from more
independent business positon, and with them
has Also come perception OF tile feet that news
napars sl,ou,d No. ha tho va,,c,.. NJ axtrsms
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1874-11-26

The Legislature Of South Carolina met Tues
day. Robert H. Elliott, colored, who recently
resigned his seat in Congress, was elected
Speaker Of the House, by vote Of 81 To 81.
The minority who voted against Elliott included
the Representatives elected by the Fusion party
in Charleston
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-10-03
Brave Men Wear no Masks.

The following is a literal copy of the
resolution in regard to outrages, offer
ed by Gen. w. B. Bate at the reunion
last Thursday of the Second Tennes-
seeregiment, amended by G. B. Rogan
and unanimously adopted;
Whereas, We are informed through
the newspapers of the country of
various acts of outlawry in this State;
and, whereas, portion of our North
ern press are improperly seeking to
throw suspicion upon the late Con-
federate soldiers as being the instiga-
tors or perpetrators of such crimes
believing that there is no class of citi-
zens in the United States who are
more orderly and law-abiding than the
late Confederate soldiers, we take this
occasion to express our unqualified
disapprobation of any outrage or per-
sonal violence perpetrated against any
citizen of whatever race, color, or call
ing; and we believe that there IS no
class of citizens in the South who yield
more ready obedience to the laws or
who would go farther to support them
and to suppress outrage. In our opin--
ion, no man. or set of men, who would
go masked and murder prisoners
already in the custody of the law, ever
stood forth unmasked before the ene-
mics of his country"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-10-03
Longevity in Different States.

The Southern States, as appears
from the census reports, are much
more favorable to old age than North
ern ones. The largestnumber of persons
over one hundred years of age is to be
found in Georgia, which reports 297 !;
Louisiana, 279; North Carolina, 265 !;
Mississippi, 263; South Carolina, 236 /;
Tennessee, 207; while Pennsylvania,
with nearly three times the population
Of Tennessee, has but 103; Massachu-
setts, 46; New York, 167; Ohio, 80 /;
Maine, q ; New Hampshire and Yer
mont Z each. Nearly the same pro-
portion obtained In the census returns
Of 1850 and 1860.
The percentage of deaths to the
whole population of the United States,
was, for the census year beginning 1st
of June, 1869, and ending May 81,
1870, 1.29. In Tennessee it was 1.13.
There are twenty-four States and Ter
ritories In which the percentage
was greater than in Tennessee, and.
twenty-five in which it was less. But
it is a noticeable fact that those States
or Territories which were reported as
most healthy were those which were
being settled and the proportion of
children small. The proportion of
deaths in the United States under five
years of age to the whole number of
deaths, is 41.2 per cent. This proper
ton in Tennessee is less, being about
80 per cent By leaving out those
States and Territories which are be-
ing settled, it will be found that Ten
nessee ranks in the list of the health
lest States in the Union. The agency
of climate is far more important in
determining the intellectual improve
ment and material prosperity of a
State than even the soil itself; for as
health is due in great degree to climate,
so wealth els dependent upon health
and enterprise The two latter are al
most the necessary anteeedents to the
former. However fertile a region may
be, it cannot become the focus of
wealth unless its conditions are favor
able to health, and consequent activi-
ty of the mind and body. The two
united fertile soil and salubrity of
climate. coupled with fair degree Of
enterprise, will ensure a high social
and meteriaT development, and happi-
ly for the State of Tennessee, both are
found within its bOrders.-ResoUrces
Of Tennessee.