Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-04-03
8mmorous shstebe

for several years in business IN Boston, ana
had become quite gentleman in the way
of fashion and knowledge of the world.
One summer Peter paid visit to the home
of his youth: but he could not put up with
the moor accommodations of the backwoods
of Albany. so he sought quarters in the ad-
Joining town of Conway, with mine host
of the Conway House, said host at that
time being Jonathan Dow and while there
he invited his cousin Zedekiah TO call and
see him.
Zed. came, and was astonished. lie
had never been in big hotel before. The
gaudy carpets the spacious halls; the
staring mirrors, and the bright pictures be-
wildered him. He went up into Peters pri-
vate room, where he gave vent to his won
der.
Crotch all broomsticks - he exclaimed,
sst is the tarnalest place l ever did see. L
should think you would be fambusterfecat-
ed in such taugle of gewgaws.'
%, it's nothing when you get USED to 1t,
Zed. You ought to travel
'What-on them pesky steam ingines
and ships I? Not's you knows on L read
enough about 'em in dads paper
We'll. well-enjoy yourself as you can'
old fellow
That's lest what mean to do
You'll take dinner with meg
'If yoa say so-yaas.'
" ont you have a little drop OF some
thing warming before dinner 2
'Eh Dye mean tod
Yes
'Sartin | will. Where'l we gi. it p
Well call for it,
Who'll We call 2
Just you pull that cord that hangs by
your elbow
Zed. reached for the bell-cord and gave
it smart pull, and at that instant the
gong sounded for dinner Whir-r-r-rang
--crash-bang-bang-bangl The din
was frightful, penetrating to every corner
of tie big house apd shaking the very
walls. Zedekiah leaped to his feet, pale
and quiyeripg.
What have done p he gasped. What
the thunder did you tell me to pull that
rope for o, Pete Pete What is it 2
Just then Mr.. Dow opened the door,
and looked in, asking rather hurriedIy,
What is wanted ?
'Noth'n ? blurted Zed.
You rang the bell, didn't you 2
Blast your old bell there haint nobody
touched bell. haint seed no bell. If
there's been a smash don't com a lookin'
for ii here, cause nobody in this ere room
ever did it, swan +
Dow, in perplexity, turned 10 Peter and
asked him if his bell had not been rung.
Zed. fearful that his cousin might own
up, sprang toward him, and caught him
by the collar.
Look here, Pete. ef you so to lettin on
about that tarnal' rope, l swan to man
you'll have to pay the damage, for I'm
blamed ef I've got a cent
At this poin. Peter burst. When he
could control himself he explained 20 Dow
The cause Of his friends alarm, and also
elucidated to Zed, the nature and the uses
of the gong.
'Waal, l declar But Jewhittaker
want ] skeered Triberlation take yer
gongs, sayl'
But later over a mug of streaming
punch, Zedekiah SO far forgot his tribula-
lion as to be able to smile.-C-Netc York
LEDGER.
Too REFINED FOR TEXAS SOCIETY,"
\ few days ago n wagon; drawn by yoke
Of long-horned Texas cattle, halted on La
fayete street. The wagon contained a
good looking woman, seven children, and
considerable punder. \ man, a small boy,
and dog that had run to tail were the ad-
juncts. The party were from Texas, and
were returning to their old home in Deca-
tur county. An Alderman of the city who
bad passed many years of his life in the
Lone Star State approached the wagon.
He said to the woman, ''From Texas, 1
presume - "Yes, sir.n Didn't you
like the country ?'' ''No, sir.'' Didn't
you like the climate ?'' 20, yes" did
you have good health out there ?'' YES. "
'Wan't the land good ?'' Yes" "How
about the crops ?'' 80, we made splendid
crops" well, then, maam, what on
earth is your objection to Texas p "Wby,
slr,'' she replied, II couldn't stand the
society in that rough country - and then
she turned to the small boy. her son, and
cried, ''Sam drive that dam dog outen the
dinner pot don't you see he's got his nasty
snout into the vituals. Prom The Jackson
Wing and Tribune.
"MR. SMITH, you said you once officiat-
ed in the pulpit; did you mean by that
that you preached % "No, sir held the
light for the man who did PREACH - "Ah,
the court understood you differently. They
supposed that the discourse came directly
from YOU" mo. cir. only threw a little
light on it."
a SUBURBAN minister applied 10 ticket
agent, on one of the railroads, for ''cler-
gyman's ticket, - and on the official express.
ing doubt as to his clerical character, ex-
claimed ''Ifyou don't believe I'm 4 clergy.
------r --4s.-sn-r4Anns -
The agent passed over the ticket. but did
not insist upon the proof
WHAT do you do with so much = said
gentleman at the South End the other
evening to beggar-boy who had a basket.