Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1874-06-20
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.

DOLLARS and sense do not necessari-
| ly travel together.
Why is marriage like a fat paying
Job =? The ring fixes it.
HooD called the slamming of the
door by person in passion a wooden
damn.
PRUSSIA, since its adoption Of the
Manser rife, has been selling its old
needle guns to China.
WHAT are the most unsociable things
in the world? Mile-stones. You never
see two Of them together.
THERE is Brooklyn man who wears
mourning for his mother-in-law. He
wears it on the lining of his coat.
THE young lady out west who re-
ceived 81, 900 damages for kiss, is said
to be spelling to be damaged again.
PRETTY good land can be bought in
South Carolina for five cents per acre,
but there's s24 back tax on every acre
of it.
THE Kentucky topers, who signed
petition to have whisky put down,
thought it meant put down to five cents
a glass.
THERE is nothing more calculated to
weaken boys moral character than to
get his fishing hook fastened to root
in the river.
/ THE difference between perseverance
and obstinacy is that one often comes
from a strong will, and the other from
strong won't.
In life it is difficult to say who do
you the most mischief-enemies with
the worst intentions, or friends with the
best.-BulUer.
Mr.. KAvANAGH, a member of the
British parliament, has neither legs nor
arms. He holds his pen in his mouth
when he signs his name.
Mrs GRANT cried, Nellie cried, Sar-
toris looked sad, the president blew
his nose, and then the newly-married
couple went aboard the steamer Bawl-
tic.
THERE is as much greatness of mind
in the owing OF good turn as in doing
it and we must no more force re-
quital out Of season than be wanting
in it.-Seneca.
GAsooz1ISG" is new slang word,
meaning to "honeyfugls." If any one
shouldn't know what "honeyfugle is,
we explain that it is the synonym for
"hornswoggle."
THIS is very rash spring. Nine out
of ten men who carry red noses lay it to
something throwing out a rash.
There's more lie about this nose busl-
ness than there ought to be.
IL Maine, recently, by the advice of
clairvoyant, body was exhumed and
/ rebaried with the face downward, as
means of staying the ravages of con-
sumption in the corpse's family.
LOOK AHEAD
/ A pelican flying home one day
With fine fat fish from Oyster Bay,
/ Was met by crow who had sought in vain
/ For something to still his hungers pain
/ And who knew that fish was good for the brain,
4 So he -lvlv said why friend, what's in you,
/ To carry fish at full neck's length
Is that any way to economic strength!
call it a waste Of muscle and snew.
Just throw your head over your shoulder, go
You distribute the weight over all your frame,
You can carry double load Of game.
And thus, without firing, home YOU go,'
The pelican did as his false friend bade
But striking a bough he came to wreck
And down he fell with a broken neck,
And the crow had a royal dinner of shad
I wrote this fable for three little men,
Whose names are Willie and Arthur and Jack
And this is the moral, clear and plain:
when you run forward don't look back
John Hay in 81. Nlcho,dS.
They have dumb pianos in London,
for the benefit of those who wish to
learn Thalbergian lingering; and our
experience teaches us that they make
better music as general thing than the
other kind.
The expenses of the Tichborne trial
to be paid by "the present baronet"
amount to G92, ,O00 This sum does not
include the expenses of the trial for
perjury, which are to be paid by the
government.
The rubber which lines the tail of
ladv's dress is bad thing for a man
with weak lungs. 1t makes so much
noise over the brick pavement, that the
young MN is compelled to whisper his
sweet nothings in voice OF thunder.
"PHEBB CoUzIxs doesn't dress like
her brothers of the bar" says the
Chicago Tribune, by way of commenc-
: ing an item. That's undoubtedly true /;
she dresses by putting on her clothes
over her head, while they don't, and,
what's more, they can't. But what busi-
e ness is it of the Tribune's, anyhow?
. ARIZONA territory, which is popularly
! believed to be wealthier in minerals
! than California or Nevada, is fast recoy-
;. ering from the prostration caused by
q Indian raids. Many of the mines which
n have lain untouched for years on
!. account of the Apaches are again being
!, worked. and the results are said to be
i wonderful.
< WHAT row the women would make
;. if men wore stove-pipe hats at concerts,
d lectures, and the theatre. The deal
Il creatures turret their heads several
e stories high, and to sit behind one oi
= them in place of amusementis equlva
$: lent TO not seeing any thing that is goiDe
d on in front. No wonder the men go ou
l. to smile under such Affections.
- COMMANDER BE1KNAP, of the United
" States navy, has submitted to the de
y partment in Washington an interesting
p, report of deepsea soundings in the Pa
NJ cifc ocean made by him for the purpos
a. of ascertaining the most favorable rout,
s for an ocean-telegraph between Japal
9 8 and San Francisco. The greatest dept
+ reached was 3,2S7 fathoms. 1t is th
il opinion of scientific men concerned il
is the survey that continuous range Q
10 submarine mountains extends from Ja
of pan to the Sandwich Islands. 81
to peaks, ranging from 1000 t. 1890
Id feet in height, we're measured.
,e- |
mr.