davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1874-04-11

Any person, so liable, who shall fail
to comply with the foregoing require
ments will be subject to severe penal
ties.
Persons or firms liable to pay any OF
the Special Taxes named above must
apply to GEO. w. BROWN, Collec-
tor of Internal Revenue at Grafton, w.
Va, and pay for and procure the Spe-
cial-Tax Stamps they need, prior to
May ], 1874, and WITHOUT FURTHER
NOTICE. j. w. DOUGLASS,
Commissioner of internal Revenue.
OFFICE OF INTERNAL REVENUE,
Washington, ID. G., Feb. 10, 1874.
Mar. 2l-4tw
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10
D1AMoND CUT DIAMOND.


A Lincoln county long-legged rus
tic, suffering with thirst, saunfered in
to Wilson 81 Aliens ice depot the oth-
er day, and seeing q pitcher contain
ing sulphur water standing on the
counter, helped hiHself to a glass of
that odOriferous fluid, without going
through the rather unnecessary form
ula of asking anybody's consent
Upon reflection, however, he didn't
appear to be satisfied with the drink,
for an indeseribable expression of
alarm swept over his features,his nose
cuFIed upward and snuned the air
ferociously while his mouth assumed
such a protuberant pucker that it
threatened to run away with the rest
of his face. Charlie Wilson, who
loves a joke better than feast. hap
pened to be standing near, and he cast
an inquiring look at the agitated rustic
his mouth and blurting out:
Take me up for a skunk if that
water amt spilled"
s.Good heavens r. exclaimed Mr.,
Wilson, with well stimulated horror.
''you didn't drink any of that water in
that pitcher, did YOU"
aFm busted if / didn't, though, /"
gasped the Mortified rustic, turning as
whiIe as a baby's nightgoWn. S"What
is ftf's W
qWeHr replied Mr.. Wilson, with
great gravity, ssthere's a difference of
opinion on that subject; but between
you and I, to 60 no further you know
it's all that was left of rat that died
here about two weeks ago."
"Is that all 20 quickly retorted the
gentleman from the rural districts,
now thoroughly relieved, 'sWell, III
be cussed if / wasn't altered you'd
been blowing yonr breath on it," q
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10


Hops entwine to the left, and beans
10 The right
A clean skin is as necessary to good
health, as food.
The largest of the Egyptian Pyra-
1nids is 4S1 feet high.
Noah's ark was 547 English feet
long, 81 broad, and 81 high.
A busheI of wheat weighing go
pounds, contains $50, 600 kernels.
Fossil remains in Ohio prove that
it was once covered with water.
Gold may be beaten into leaves so
thin, that 10000 would be only an
inch thick.
Vinegar boiled with myrrh or cam
phcr, sprinkled in room corrects
putridity.
In Greece, it was the custom at
meals, for the two sexes always to eat
separately.
The Romans lay on cushions at their
dining tables, on their left arms, eat
ing with their right.
The walls of Nineyah were 100 feet
high, and thick enough for three char
lots abreast.
Babylon was go miles within the
walls, which were Is feet thick, and
300 feet high.
Forests Of standing trees have been
discovered In Yorkshire, England, and
Ireland imbedded In stone.
On one of the peaks of the Alps,
there is block of granite, weighing,
ny estimate, 13l ,56S tons, so nicely
balanced on its center of gravity, that
asingle man can give it a rocking
mo Ilotion' of& a9sE
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10
THE P1e-BY 4 Roy.

q
The pig was thus written up by a
Georgia boy, whose composition was
published in his local paper, the Grif-
Nsrs, and was as follows:
ssThe pig is about as big as sheep,
only pigs wool isn't good for MAX
ing stockings of. Why is pig like a
free2 Because he roots. That Is q
conundrum. A pig washes himself in
the mud. A pig has four legs, one
under each corner of his body. They
pickle pigs feet, but not till after the
pig has got done using 'em. A pig
squeals awful when ii rains, also when
you pun his tail. A pig has got a
firstrate voice for squealing, and he
grunts when he feels good, You
can't make a whistle out of pigs tail,
'cos it is crooked. Why is a pig like
Tommy Grant? Cos he's got his nose
into everybody's business. This is
another conundrum, which is all l
know about a pig"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

SUeGEsrfoNs TO NEwspAPER War
TERs.-A two column article has one
reader in a hundred.
A column and a half article, one in
seventy-five.
A column article, one reader in fifty
in twenty-five.
A half-column, one reader in ten.
Aqnarter column article is read by
everybody.
Boil yourself down, then, before
you write for the papers. Ask your
self with every fresh page of copy,
cam I not really through I"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10
TRADES or ANIMALS.


III has been we'll remarked by a
clever author that bees are geometri-
clans. The cells are so constructed as,
with the least quanty of material, to
have the largest sized spaces and the
least possible interstices.
A mole is a meteOrologist. k&b
The torpedo, the ray and the elec-
trio eel are electricians.
WhoIetribes of birds are musicians.
The beaver is an architect, builder
and woodcutter. He cuts down trees
and erects houses and dams.
The mafmot is n civil engineer, He
not only builds houses, but constructs
aquedncts and drains to keep them
dry.
The anE is a soldier, and maintains q
regular standing army.
Wasps are paper manufacturers.
Caterplllars are silk spinners.
The squirrel is a ferryman. With q
chip or piece of bark for beat, and
his tail for n sail, he crosses a stream.
Dogs, wolves, jackals and many
others are hunters.
Black bears and herons are fisher
men.
Ants are day IaboFers.
Monkeys are rope dancers.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

CoMETs carry long tails. The tail
of the comet of 1850 was 96,000,000
miles long that OF the comet of 1900
was 1OO.O00,O ,OOO miles in length; the
comet OF IS43 had train of 10000
mo miles. and that of Donata's comet
in 1855. was about so, 100000 miles in
ledgth. The development of the tail
ls often wonderfully rapid. In the
comet of 1858. on August 18th, the
length of the tail was Two degrees. or
1900, 600 miles. On October 10th it
was sixty degrees, or 5l,OO0,OOO miles,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

"MY dear boy" said a fond aunt to
fast living nephew, "don't you know
that in leading this Irregular life, you
are shortening your days ?" "It's
quite possible that | may be shorten
ing my days, but then look how | am
leHgthening my nights" was the re-
ply.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A PIG was born recently, in Column
bus with a half human face and head,
perfect chin and mouth, signs of a
large tusk on one side of the mouth,
and a perfect elephants trunk extend
ed from the forehead, with ears SINH
lar shaped to those. OF an elephant. 1t
win be an interesting fact to physiolo-
gists to know that a circus had passed
through Columbus some months be-
fore this pig was born, and that there
was an elephant with 1t. The mater
nal SOW may have seen the elephant
hence the above monstrosity.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

"WHY did you leave your last
place ?" inquired young housekeeper
about to engage a new servant. why
you see, ma an" replied the applicant
II was too good-looking and when |
opened the door folks took me for the
missus." E7 sa X
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

MARK TWAIN was one day playing
with his first baby. His wife said:
sYou do love the baby, don't you,
Sam % :" Well" he replied, in his
hesitating way, / won't say L love it,
but can't help respecting it for it's
fathers sake" -.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

PRoHIBITIoN is having the usual eff
feet in Providence, R.. l. Several
hourishing clubs have been founded,
any member of which is entitled to
alcoholic and other refreshments on
presenting ticket, which is punched
once for each drink. Though the
prohibitory law has been in force
there only about q week, reasoning
people are already disgusted with it.
and there is q demand for change
in January. Meantime the State con-
stables will make the most of their
probably short lived offices.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A KANSAS boy earned a nice Bible
by committing three hundred verses
to memory, and then traded his Bible
for shotgun and accidentally shot
his aunt in the leg.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A KANSAS girl wouldn't be married
without yellow ribbon around her.
waist, and boy rode eight miles to
get it while the guests waited.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES calls a
kiss Kissing consonant. He should
have added, also, that it usually fol-
lows a-YoWal.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A KENTUCKY farmer says that three
good bull dogs roaming the yard
nights will do more. to keep a man
honest than all the talking in the
world. - sh
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A LADY barber has been driven out
of Dubuque by the married ladies of
that place. The latter thought she
scraped acquaintance too easily. aa
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10
b. r. BOOSINGER
Z Blacksmith,
IN COMMON PLEAS COURT OF PoR-
TAGE COUNTY, OHIO. @ 80
James II. Bradlee as
Divorce.


The Defendant Lucretia II. Bradlee is notified
that ON the 3d day of October, 1874. the above
named petitioner will take the dispositions of
sundry witnesses to be used in evidence on the
trial of the above canse, ut the Office Of Isaac
Spencer Smith, 3iS Broadway, New York City
New York, between the hours of O'Clock a, m
and 4 O'Clock p. m, and that the taking will be
continued from day to day between the same
hours until they are completed.
JAMES IL. BRADLEE
by RANHEY 81 HATFIELD, his Att'ys.
3l9-6w
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

Why is young lady dependent
upon the letter Y. Because without
it she would be a Esyoung lad" Gssa.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

THE longest word in the English
language is smiles, because there is a
mile between the first and last letters.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

RICE AND APPLEs.-Boil pound of
rice until soft /; add one ounce of but
ter tablespoonful of sugar, stew six
green apples, pour the apples in dish
and cover with the rice, and serve.
RICE ,FRITTERs.-Boil four ounces
of rice in one quart milk when soft,
remove it; when cold add four eggs
well beaten, as much flour as will
make batter; drop a spoonful into
hot fat, and fry brown. Eat with su-
gar and sauce.
A VERY Rich PUDDING.-One
pound of cocoanut; one pint of milk,
half pound of sugar four eggs; one
gill of rose water. Boil the eoeoanut
in the milk two hours with the cover
on) in the tea-kettle boiler, beat the
eggs well, add the sugar, stir all to-
gether.-Bake in pudding dish lined
with paste, and boil until thick, and
eat cold.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

A kind word spoken to husband
will go further than a broomstiek or
fiatiron, says a woman of experience. :
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1874-09-10

ass sg Ei8 IS as
aalsregJ Is g7eEtlssA 4d Old
iaa So xs6szaaK has aissa q
adAaBa E 81 6 st ass55ea9 sa
6aa iazasas1aa 80 sa
baa Il
.gahs iaasls
siao5seg5i bssssasi8a sa
a 80 a4aoa as.W saAss.sa'3 e
H4aQt 855 sg1 s4sf5d 81 issH- a
aar &oiaavs gabss9E <ati asa9
ss5ai Eaa ~ -teta{sz - &
1A Att
, 1874-03-29
TO KY NATIVE LARD.

Tye been wandcrer all my dzyx,
Since cld}dhood's wreath Of infancy
6toie Fl ON ny trow: IRE sung thy flJ1
On many q trackiess, foatnT sea-
Ny Land,
I've sung aod sighed for ibee.
In fsr-of Ind, the land Of gold,
Where fairest rose-embowesed RroFss
Within their fragrant arns do hold
The Incense Of ten shous1ad clores,-
M5 Lapd,
I've sung sud sighed for thee.
Meath austrais granoiy-towrtfrg trees,
Gahere odors from the sxeete-s aoTcn
Perfume the light, arobrosjal lEeeze,
And days pa&s brief rs Eden = houfs,-
Ny L1nd,
1're sung md sighed for Thea
Through otve-brow.d, Wild Araby,
Where dark-hucd maids y; ,;;;..a -. Brightest aJta
Cast beauIng looks Of love on NE,
0utrivaunE .he st5f-decked xNts.-
My Laud,
Ire apng and hghed for thee.
I're roaned through every beaptcous spot
That can be traced upon our E.r:h,
Au4i. mid their EiortEa, ne'er forgot
The "6ez~G!rt Iai4 tha. gaye ma bt,.h.-
Ny Land,
through al I've sighed for ihee-
JAMES LArAI1f
, 1874-03-29

OF to sew on buttons. 6he doas not sto, IN
COOK; she eats ~hat she can buy already cooked.
her her DE dlet consisting pr1pcioally Of tea aud
tar at 1ts present price. Liter two days steady
WORK. the euit is completed, With tired Nuoha
aching back. and heavy heart, she carries Il tn
eer employer and receives Tor her labor
sEyEs7x-F7rE CENTS!
II she had not been akillful worker she con}a
not have completed it in that length Of time :
hut her Skill gives her the ADVANTAGE orar her
unskllled neighbor in the amount OF fms Il
takes her to hnigh her work. Tic reader c,n
imagine how much 3 woman, who has lsd bnt
s n.sia PRACTICE On eewing-tnaehine, can earn at
TOT sewing machine in monthly payments of
go and will ccase to be SURPRISED that woman NJ,
often 3ose their machines after rayipx consider~
abe anon them. Surely, it is time these roor
Wo!nen mad little OF the benefits OF machine
which. was constructed expressly Tor them, The
Inventors have had ample time to am.ss wealth.
and now those who arc dependent upon them
Should reallzo little good from them. As
things are now, they are an unmitigated evil
:, Physlcsans' verdict uron sewing-rnachlnes 10,
that they are wonau-ki1lers; but il the ptice
for machine work would afford
COMFORTABLE LIVING,
the sewing machine would not be 80 much OF
woman-kll]cs as it is now Tho depressed state
Of the mind, combined with the want OF ordi-
nary comforts Of life. has more to do with SHORT
o! the sewing Will not those ladies
who have mcans and leisure, and who ere now
attacking TIM crying evils OF the dav,-intem-
nerance. With its tnin. sister, the socia1-eril,-
devote little Of their time and thought to these
poor women, who have nothing to brighten their
cherries existence, and can onty look to the
rest Of the grave for relief? A girl or woman
who can hold on steadily through long
yeaB OF such wearisome, poorly~paid labor,
and keep. herself unxpottod from the
world, could govern kingdom. aud govern, it
well; and sle has perfect right to look for
ward to the next Ftate Of existence for crown
OF immortal glory rs the reward OF her patient
cng-sunering in this valo of tears. But It Is
rather hard to wait uutil this life is ended for
any good thing and We would urge it upon
rhnanthropic ladies to pay rome attention to
thess poor, suffering creatures, and give them a
chance To enjoy few Of the good things uhile
they ore down here below. Aa matter OF SELF
interest we would urge it, that they NAV eyentu-
ally ehare ii tue brightness and glory which will
most asrurcdty crown the efforts and auncrinEs
Of these perEecuted eewing-women.
3fus. A. D. NYNKCOp
, 1874-03-29
THE hfOURNFuL BALLAD or SAD WILLIAM.
Bad William was d man OF mark
For miles and miles around
Each worthy dog at nim did bark;
He meier was sober found.

Bad William was man OF mark;
For miles aud miles around
Each worthy dog at niua did bark;
He meier was sober found
Though dark, his brow 1as hung with gloon
Deep wisdom lit his eyes !;
4 kind Of royal purple bloom
Did on his faoe arise.
Els voice vss thick with rt.doms speech,
And from bis HTs did ro!i
Lcng cautions loud, dear youth to teach,
TO 6nun the sinful bowl
And as he srake bis tears would dow,
He'd mournfu1 t 1p and th;uz;
Then, shaking sad his le=d, he'd 60
And take anotlet drink
Some tender friends Of this sad man,
By CIR .stian love inclined,
Did ''moug themselves story p1an
To work upon his mind.
With awful looks they told in fright
That one who drink like sin,
And, like him, went 10 Ted each night
Exbaung clouds Of gin,
Had eought to blow the candle ont,
When 10 his breath took fire,
And atraight be died and Left no doubt
That drluk had lit his pSrt
aoh. vl1l.sn, think Of this dread tate,'
70 him thEse friends did HaT,
"And stop before 1t is too late;
Oh, William, do. we pray!"
Then William sat him down tt mourn.
They left him in his fear;
And. In the mcrrow's early dawn,
Said he, "a they drew nesr,
tive thought, with many tears and true,
OF all you sald list night.
mi
III meier blow Ont light"
fe,o 1ork H'oTId,
, 1874-03-29

! what?
Eefore went to bed that night Tt.
! II loye.-in love with an irre7erent 1itt
gnl, With blue eyes and dimpled check: an
Afser this became very unhappy. loved, an
) yet quarteled with my lore, rebuked it, turne
/ x~ay frotu it ; and then, like weak, inconsis
J ens fool, took it in my arms aod engseA it. 9
course this latter proceeding ~as utter 7adneus
for what had T. Austin Chnsuble. in comrno
with this wiliful, impetuouB. richly-roted dam
sct I did not even know her natne rank, o
anything but that her manners we're those of
i6o5, hes dress that Of one reared in the lap o
iutofy; and Gid know, on'y too rel, that re
stephens, and an additional fifty from m,
no1aef, the widow Of the late Very Rev. Deai
OF Mochester, and still living with my sisters il
cosy nouse within tie Cathedral close OF tha
.o"n, 70 NOV, stretch hundred and fifty ponnd'
es 1ae Us you nav, defy you tc make It keel
one person 10 luxury, let a}ope two. 1t NIGH
keep Two, With painful economy, in some remote
country parts but in London!
What could do?
The girl had falrly bewischea me; yet. like 4
mailman, instead OF avoiding her society,
SOUGHT II.
11oana ont the days $40 s7alted the poor kad
not only devoted those to the same orrand. but
almost every otlier AZ well. lest might by acci-
ee uen! mliss one chance Of seeing her. su,cinge,
oufetde tbs church He mas perfectly correct in
his statement.
Would not havR walked navBeif to death
tatner than iet him idcur the dauEer OF meeting
ny oonny Juliet in the West End sums b
| 4eeleea gre" thin ana hagEard, between com
taung VITO MY loTe passion and trting to device
I means Tor satisfying it-ao hageau, indeed that
eoneumes me bright eyes would look st me
eotnpMaasionatoiy, u, r. ny aud she would say:
,.rt r' tnnsaoie, you look astully III. don't
t nele'e you gre yourself half enough food or
~. 10y ou5as 20 lay up, and have como one
W i1oh a1eer yon-
| an now elauiy would have laid up If had
uaa aer 20 iock a1eer Me, to look in once week
| % 80, as she did On Mrs. Gridla. aad ask me
low old, with that frank, inspiring smile Of
| aesA
AnoIher nme she huEt me cruellY o5 saJing as
] waa opening 1er umbrella for her:
| Que thng Ike 40 much In Eou Ritualfstie
ctefssenens Mf. Cnasuola, Ii
! Youh NOT NARhTrHa.
, 1874-03-29

| both laughed.
"It seems We have como On the sams e1rand, II
said, coloring consciously.
ut seems We
| ALWAYS c,suSo on THE sAME EnHASD,'
abe retozted. >''l wa5 just thinking to-day That
| 1never come 10 see my old people without find
] ing you, too. hr. Chasuble; hut hardly calcu~
| lated on finding only YOU"
lyon forget they are my people a1eo" sid
ve1ed With myself for reddeping still more un~
der her words,-"if not more 80 than yours. It
is my bcslness to look after them.
Your business and my pleasure. Well, both
combined bring us together pretty often."
l. - Not SO often as to be unpleasant to you, I
hope I said-1s anxioualy, poor fool, as il my
life hung On the answer.
''Certainl, not. Mr. Chasuble-I rather like
it, though you do scold me about Job, aud
Triangle ga, on 81 ny g ttle pet Esakrsases"
not, ut least"
II don't know" she answered giving her
head little Wiilful shake as she stood drying the
soles Of her boots at the small fire. Is How:
ever, en- reslgning nTseK to being trampleu
On to-day, for must wait till the rain ia over,
and want to wais till Mrs. Boeely comes in. !
shouldn't like to 50 away without bidding the
ridiculous old thing
oooD~BY"
Good-bvl" I repeated vaguely
Some OF the rain must have run down nv back
just then-such cold shirer rAp through ms
" You are no:-surely you are not Eoit,y away! J..
6he looked up, her bite eyes wide with bur
prise: by tone must have sounded OF the des-
pair felt.
"Indeed an. Don't think I'm tired OF nv
ragged friends but leare London next week,
and shall be tco busy to come down to them
aBaini 30 You will have them all to yourself in
the future"
felt was growing white as death. l could
not speak or look at her.
- am afraid you are rather glad" she said,
brushing the dried mud stain oil her boot with |
, 1874-03-29

-
Leg 71;e iook At
x do-I inon rno tufneu touo' 1n" e7p'eo "e II
ns ~ VII 'oiuSs enhns t ~ tue % uoos ,,,.a
MhY, Wnos tbis. Mrs BoselT {" eho asked
qu1ckly: your wiaowea gF:i:aasnss:s: ~"
uo 10 5ou os. 40. nv Gells ana WY dons you come
a''r M,',a .ahe @ cate r. ol your Poof ofolo-,-., olo-
ihls was 100 much. had already been shocked
70 teo 9Gul oy tns gFlnlsvty nt to be taken
ttlz!nF from tue bottom Of my heart n7 classical
~ ~ nslIeas a',;1 M 1aee ana rgaly lengthy coat rose
", 11,1N mti.e Ntls: bosely e3clalmea;
Why, lor bless you, dear! That BE-
NE. 1AzfnLEs MI MINISTER"
nope ALI nob lc your "aV, satu st1ua!v.
sec4ns sne mao tne grace to o'osh. nut felent~
ing because the blush made her so ondeifully
pfetty.
~ ~. peg yoor pardon, Mr.--Jezehel. l."
.t .nGhas9ble corrected. rather warmly.
,.,, ar. az. Chasunie,- l really beg you1 pardon
ny that corner is so dark, could not see you
properly: Perhaps yon can tell mo what ia to
Dc Ha4 Gone 9,sa,3or ,oa mrs. .a nosslys door
gested thai something be nailed against tie
crack