Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-05-07
BREYITIES.

OF hat.
GRATITUDE is the throwing out Of our
hearts in the light Of another's kindness.
THERE are twenty counties in Pennsyl-
MIA which do not owe dollar OF public
debt
PARoxYsMs Of coughing may be pre-
vented or cured by swallowing little dry
salt
BRINGING a Limburger cheese into
Denver is punishable by a fine of so for
the first offense.
AN Indiana man fell sixty-nine feet the
other day and was cured of deafness.
Nature is great healer.
THE Eastern oyster refuses to spawn in
the bay Of San Francisco. He grows
very fat and then dies.
A UTICA girl intends to shoot her late
lover because he left her on account OF
her flirting proclivities.
AN English wag asserts that machinery
is the most modest of all things, since 1t
almost always travels in cog.
IT has been decided in Wisconsin that
a lady who is kissed by conductor can
bring action against the company.
LACE sashes are something new. They
are of Cluny and guipure, and lined with
brilliant silk to keep them spread"
A DUBUQUE man has asked the courts
to protect him against three widows who
are trying to force him into marriage.
THE Niagara hotel-keepers announce
that they are going to put stop to hack
swindling, but what about hotel swim
ding?
SHOULD cremation ever become adopted
here as a system, the tender expression,
" Peace to his ashes" will mean some
thing
A BOY in ST. Louis swallowed seven
brass buttons because another boy dared
him to, and is now laid up for internal
repairs.
VERMONT boys threaten to run away
and become pirates unless they are given
hunks of maple sugar, and mothers have
to submit.
THERE is prejudice in human kind
against large ears. AS the poet says: "Man
wants but little ear below, nor wants that
little long"
WOOD ashes and common salt made
compact with water will stop the cracks
Of stove, and prevent the smoke from
escaping.
ought to know that it takes awhOle month
to dry dead explorer so that he can be
shipped home.
"KIND WORDS are wonderful in their
way" says an exchange, but so far as
children 90 a bootjack exerts more pow
erful influence"
AN embryo poet, who is certainly a
close observer of human nature, remarks
Time marches on with the slOw-meas-
Ured tread of a man working by the day"
"THE human fiend in plum-colored
kids who spit tobacco on my hat is
marked for DEATH" says John Lane in an
advertisement in a Memphis paper.
THE fowls cackleate it is discourag-
ing times for their business about the
close of Lent, and lay it down as an axiom
that Easter is eggscessively henervating.
A DETROIT paper noting, the fact that
a man fell down dead while combing his
hair, SAYS: "And vet there are people
who will persist in that dangerous habit"
PITTSBURGH is going to cast a cannon
twenty-eight feet long. If the ball don't
kill they can punch a man in the stomach
with the muzzIe Of the gun and severely
injure him.
IF hens would only color their Easter
eggs before laying they might corner the
market. Quiz has been experimenting by
feeding his landlady's chickens on log
wood, and they died well.
You may talk yourself into bronchial
affection but you can't convince a Yer
mont woman that there won't be death
in the family if she dreams of seeing a
hen walking picket fence.
TIVE Maine people are waking up to
the enforcement of the Fish laws, and a
man was fined fifty dollars the other
day for merely bringing a salmon to ms.r-
ket in Bangor out Of season.
A sHIFwLEss man is the first to perceive
the approach of winter and the last to per-
ceive its departure. 4 cap with ear laps
or faded comforter is dearer to him in
June than the glories of flowers or the
sweet songs of birds.
"CHICAGo papers report 1900 sons and
daughters Of that city married last year,
and an effort was made to obtain the di-
vorce statistics, bat the lightning calcu-
lator broke down."-Menlph6s. AgaLq1lc756.
In a house at Augusta, Me-, rats nest
recently discovered contained fonr silver
spoons, three tined fork, thirteen cotton
stockings and half a peck of butter
nuts. Quite stylish housekeeper for a
rat.
A CITIZEN of Vicksburg advertises ::
&" My attention has been called to an edi-
torial in the Vicksburg Herald of to-day,
which might reflect upon me. | de-
nOunce the author of said article as a
liar, scoundrel and a coward
SOLDERING LiQUID.-This is made by
taking hydrochloric acid, a quarter of a
pint; granulated tin, one and a half
ounces. Dissolve, and add some common
solder and hydrochlorate OF ammonia
TEA CAKE.-One cup of sugar; one
great spoonful of butter; half cup of
milk; two cups Of sifted flour; a very
little nutmeg; one teaspoonful of cream
of tartar; half teaspoonful OF soda.
PARADISE CAKE.-Three eggs; one cup
Of butter; two and half cups Of sugar
one and half cups of sweet milk; small
teaspoonful of soda; four large cups OF
flour; one pound of raisins; cloves, Gin
namOn, and nutmeg.
MOUNTAIN CAKE.-One cup butter
three cups white sugar; four of flour; five
eggs, whites beaten separately; one tea
spoonful of cream of tartar; one of soda
dissolved in the milk.
A WESTERN veterinary surgeon recon-
mends quarter of an ounce of prepared
chalk given in the food of young horse
each morning as corrective of the acidity
of the stomach and bowels which produces
collie.
RAISED CAKE.-Two cups of raised
dough; two eggs; two cups Of sugar; one
cup of butter; one cup of sweet milk; one
teafpoonful of soda; two cups of flour