Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1874-07-10
Fl U 0 r


RAISING A Grow. 1.-THE following is
the latest Virginia City yarn: A few
evenings since, a fellow rushed into Tin
ker & Shepherds saloon in a terrible state
of excitement. Throwing his hat on the
counter, he cried to Dan, the bar-keeper:
'sTherell be the biggest row here in a
minute that you ever saw Give me a
drink quick ~
- Dan setout the bottle, and while the
fellow helped himself, began to look at his
six-shooter and get his club ready. Leav-
ing his hat on the counter, the fellow ran
to the door, looked out, then rushed back
to the bar, and said:
eyes; in less than half minute therell
be hill of time here ! Give me another
drink, quick!"
And, Selling the bottle, he proceeded to
help himself. He then took up his hat,
and was coolly marching off, when Dan
called out:
"See here, you fellow there! What's all
this about row? You come back here
and pay for those drinks, or I'll club you
half to DEATH"
"There you go!'' cried the fellow
''There you go! Didn't say there would
be fearful row here in a minute knew
it, and there you go!''
Dan saw the point.
ssLook here!" said he, ssyou come back
and takesanother drink, if you want it, but
I wish it distinctly understood that this is
the last row you ever raise in this house. :"
s'Don't care if l do settle up in that
way" said the fellow, grinning amiably,
as he returned to the bar.
A TOUCHING INCIDENTAL touching
incident is reported from Chattanooga. An
utter stranger called on a respectable
farmer last week, and asked him if his
house had not been robbed during the war.
The farmer replied that it had. IL" said
the stranger, twas one of marauding
party that did it, took a little silver
locket." "That locket." said the farmer,
had been worn by my dear dead child. -
"Here it ISL replied the stranger, visibly
affected. II am rich; let me make resti
tuition; here are twenty dollars for your
little son."
He gave the farmer fifty dollar bill,
and received thirty dollars in change. He
then wrung the farmers hand warmly and
left. The farmer has since dried his tears
and loaded his shotgun. The fifty-dollar
bill was bad
A verdant at Troy hotel left his young
wife in his room Sunday evening and went
down to ask the clerk what time he lighted
up. "Well,' said the accommodating
clerk, with smile, 1--WE usually light up
at nine o'clock. but to accommodate you
H'll light up immediately He then sent
bell boy to the room of the verdant to
light the gas. The Young man from the
ountry was profuse in his thanks, and
couldn't go back to his wife until the
pix accepted cigar.
he other day an aged couple drove into
ana City, Ind, just as an undertake
firm was moving into an old church,
fch had been purchased for a shop. The
ii gentleman stood up in his wagon, his
mouth and eyes distended, as the men 81
emily carried coffin after coffin into the
Dhurch. At last he turned to- his awe
stricken better-half and gasped: 'sSary,
BY golly, it's cholera! Let's git!''
'sMy dear boy,' said fond aunt to
very fast-living nephew, ''don't you know
that in leading this irregular life you are
shortening your days?" "It'squite posi-
BILE that I may be shortening my days, but
then look how lengthen my nights,'' was
the reply.
Len. G. Faxon, Of the Paducah 'sKen-
tuckian." comes out in card accepting
the call from "many voters" to become a
candidate for coroner. He says that ian
experience of several years within the pre-
ciDcts of Cairo, render me an excellent
Judge of dead man,
When man remains sober for six |
months in Columbus, he is declared to be |
acting ina strange Manner is arrested, |
and pronounced insane. 1t is scarcely nee
essary to remark that such arrests are ex-
ceedingly fare-about one in ten years.
Toledo Blade.
A London critic, after hearing new
prlma donna from Italy, sums up the mat
ter by saying that 'Mdlle. Ledi's eyes and
hair are all that can be desired her figure.
too, is charming, and had she but voice.
it would be really difficult to say too much |
in her favor"
An innocent hint-Auntie: ssWhat is
Nellie's nose for? ?" Nellie (donbtfully)-a
"To smell with" Auntie-'sAnd what is
Nellie's mouth for ?'' Nellie Cautiously |
-sTo eat with" Auntie1 And what
are Nellie's ears for ?" Nellie Confidently
Earrings"