Smyrna times., 1874-04-15
muse ceIIUH eOMS.
What Happened to the Dewberrys.

Mrs. Dswberry, wife of James Dewberry, is
an exceedingly absent minded woman, so alb.
sent minded that she sometimes forgets to sew
on her husbands buttons and mend his seeks.
though, as Mr.. Dewberry savagely remarks,
(brute that he is she never seems to forget
when she ought to have a new bonnet or gown,
or thinks she ought whsn he don't, for Mr.. ID.
Is man who does not approve of too much
dress for women.
were 1t not for Mrs. Dewberry' little habit Of
forgettulness, and the additional fact that she
is somewhat deaf.
But just let me tell you what happened at
the residence of the Dewberry's the other
night, and feel sure you will Sympathss not
only with Mr.. Dewberry but the unfortunate
Mrs. Dewberry herself
Like all partially deaf people, Mrs. Dewberry
is forever labOrlng under the delusion that she
hears all description Of noises, and happening
to wake up last Thursday night about twelve
clock, became convinced, from sundry imag
mary sounds, that some one was breaking into
the house. She sat up in bed and listened
with both her ears, one of which was little
more deaf than the ether, and was sure that
some one was forcing an entrance through the
basement window. She was dreadfuy fright
ened; visions of masked robbers passed
through her head. So, seizing her sleeping
husband by the arm, she shook him violently,
screaming:
James! James Wake up, say. There's
robbers breaking inl"
whats thstY' exclaimed Mr.. Dewberry,
starting up and rubbing his astonishsd eyes.
There's band of masked robbers getting
in at the basement window !" answered Mrs.
Dewberry in great excitement.
Masked robbers y shouted the husband
thunder and lightning - and with that he
sprang out of bed, and, snatching the night
lamp, dashed down stairs, clad only in his robe
de nuit Whereupon Mrs. d., instead of hang
ing over the bausters to look after her hus
band, as any other woman would have done,
locked the door, aud, jumping into bed, COW
cred herself, head and all, in the blankets
and, as her husband did not come back quite
as soon as she expected, forgot all about him
and fell asleep,
Meanwhile Mr. Dewberry, in search of the
robbers, having armed himself with his cane,
crspt softly down the basement stairs and
peeped cautiously through the ksyhOle of the
dining groom door, fully expecting to find the
room filled with masked men, making off with
the silver. But no, the apartment was empty,
and though he searched every room and listen.
ed at every window and door he could find no
trace of robbers. They might be down stairs
feasting on the contents of the arder; he had
heard Of such things, and acting on this sug-
gestion he explored the cellar also, notwith
standngsthe cold bricks nearly froze his bare
feet. But there was no one in the cellar either
unless they were secreted in the coal. bin, and
Mr.. Dewberry, who, when he did thing al
ways did it well, mounted up on the edge Oi
the bin, lamp in hand, psered down into grimy
depths.
Just as he had decided that there was naught
but coal in the bin, gust OF wind from the
cellar window blew out his light, and at the
same instant Mr.. Dewberry lost his balance
and fell, head first, into the coal-bin. 1t is un.
necessary to state what he said when he found
himself sprawling in that bestly coal bin -
he called it-but he certainly did look rather
peculiar when, after procuring another lighl
from the kitchen, he gained his bedroom door
with his night-shirt, face, feet, and hands
blackened with coal dust.
re his surprise he found the door locked
He raped on it with his knuckles, and pounded
on it with his feet but Mrs. Dewbcrry haC
gone to sleep with her dGafest ear uppermost
and not n sound disturbed her peaceful rest.
"Confound the woman! what am to do 2
thought the victmized Dewberry, shiverinG
with the cold. He'd not stay there all night
that he was determined. So he shouted anC
banged and shook the door until Mrs. Dew
berry was aroused at last, and called out in {
sleepy voice, who's thereY"
Who's there, indeed - shouted the iratt
Mr.. ID. why, your husband, womanl AnC
why, in the name of goodness, don't you un
lock this door ?"
~ haven't locked tho door; no such
thing" vOciferated Mrs. Dewberry, who haC
of course entirely forgotten the circumstances