The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-08-01
CURRENT ITEMS.

the remorse of guilty stomach.
In San Francisco Sunday is as much q
holiday as at Paris or New Orleans.
ALTHOUGH woman's age is undenia
bly, her own, she does not always own it
A WESTERN exchange complains OF
two-legged hyenas in the village grave.
yard.
A RICHMOND negro killed himself by
partaking Of pounded glass and jelly
cake.
EUROPE consumes about two-thirds OF
the petroleum produced in the United
States.
| A PKEcoC1oUs Ohio boy tried to kill a
cat and shot his grandfather with ten.
penny nail.
A LOUISVILLE lady has recovered
$4,000 for being dragged and injured by
a street car
| THE candid are saddened by unde
served censure and humiliated by unde.
served praise.
Two CoLoRED men in Georgia had a
little theological difficulty, and settled it
with bird-shot.
CALIFORNIA is largely cultivating, be-
sides the grape, oranges, lines, citrons,
| figs and walnuts.
A SALEM (Mass.) woman ate a rose and
died. 1t is supposed the leaves covered
| poisonous insect.
CREMATION is prospering in Germany.
There are now eighty-two cities with
cremation societies.
NATURAL1sTs claim for the crow that it
is one of the bravcst of birds, because it
nOVpr chOurc tho 1phito feather
Mrs. MARY STRAIN, of Pittsburgh, Pa,
has married three brothers in succession.
She believes in brotherly love.
BURLINGTON is now the largest city in
Iowa, having, according to the new di.
rectory, over %, 600 population.
THE young lady who mistook bottle
of mucilage for hair-oil has been too
"stuck up" to go to parties since.
MUSCLE vs. Brains. Thirty-two candi-
dates passed their intellectual examina-
tion at West Point, and ninety-tive the
physical test.
GOLD may he hammered into sheets so
! thin that $4,000 of them placed one
above the other will only occupy the
height of one inch.
A P1QuA (Ohio) girl who had quarrel
with lover remarked to a friend that
she wasn't on squeezing terms with
that fraud any more"
A CONNECTICUT editor announces that
he has bought $500 dog, and can now
meet the most irascible caller with a
smile Of calm content.
AN unsophistocated person once de-
clined a plate of macaroni soup, with
the remark that they "couldn't palm off
any billed pipe-stems on him."
A MAINE book-agent has been disabled
by the kick OF horse, and the PROPOSE
tion to give the horse public testimo-
NAL creates no little enthusiasm.
IT has been calculated that if Chicago
and St. Louis keep up their competition
in directories at the present rate each
will have population Of ten millions by
the year 1884.
A SCIENTIFIC friend who had been
reading, with great patience, an exhaust
i've treatise on the "velocity of light
says that he now knows how it is that
his gas bill runs up SO rapidly.
A TROUT weighing fourteen and three
fourths pounds was hooked in Lake
George the other day by Mr.. Buel, but
it was found necessary to shoot him in
the head before he could be landed.
THE fashion of wearing the wedding
ring on the finger next to the little finger
originated in an ancient superstition that
there was mysterious connection be-
tween that finger and the human heart.
A STORY is told of remarkable sympa-
thy existing between little boy in
Northern New York and his severed arm,
so that when the latter was roughly
handled the child would scream with
pain.
A LONDON correspondent writes: "By
the way, it is rather odd-but have not
seen in any English paper a word Of COM
ment on the marriage Of Mr.. Sartoris with
a daughter of the President Of the United
States.'
A LITTLE son of Thomas R. Sheldon,
cashier of the First National Bank at
Athens, Ohio, recently sat down in a
bucket of boiling water, producing in
jurics which resulted in death the day
following.
A sNoB in Saratoga complains OF some
cheeky members of the crews in can
vas shoes and blue uniforms intruding
themselves in the parlors and bathrooms
among ladies and gentlemen who are in
evening dress.
By THE falling in of part of the roof
of coal mine at Newcastle, near Hang
ing Rock. Ohio, the other day, Francis
King, d miner, was terribly crushed, so
that his recovery is very doubtful. No
one else was injured.
"WuAT do you know of the character
| of this man." was asked of witness at
police court the other day. "What do
l know of his character9 | know it to
be unbleachable, your Honor" replied
he with much emphasis.
"CHARLEY, what makes your cheeks
so red?" asked his sisters admirer of a
little five-year-old "'Cause l put some
Of sisters paint on. She puts it on every
| day" 1t was painful disclosure for
everybody-at least Charley thought SO
/ after the visitor had gone.
| Two recipes are given in the Scientific
american for removing tallow and white
lead which have been applied to pol
| ished parts of machinery to prevent rust
I. Use turpentine, and rub it in we'll. @
Try a concentrated solution of caustic
potash, scrubbing with an old scrubbing
! brush.
SAN FRANCISCO is going to try little
fair of her own, representing the indus
trial development of the Pacific coast
and also of China, Japan and Australia
San Francisco is unusually happy in the
promise that her Pacific telegraph caDle
will bring a greatly increased trade from
! the East.
| A YOUNG fellow in Western town was
fined $40 for kissing girl against he,
will, and the following day the damse
sent him the amount of the fine, with g