davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09
A TRICK ON AMARRIED MAN.

A writer in the Hartford Times re-
lates the following practical joke Mr..
Fred and Mrs. Alice Y had returned
from their wedding tour, and given out
invitations to several friends to spend an
evening with them at their house. In
the course of an hour after the party had
gathered, several fun loving young ladies
and gentlemen determined to perpetrate
joke on the happy husband Accord
ingly one of them whispered to Fred's
wife that Mrs. So-and so wanted to speak
to her moment up stairs. And Alice
excused herself directly. and left the
room. The lady who waited her, al
ready understood the game, and talked
very deliberately about the sewing soci-
ETY., and if it hadn't better sew for the
colored folks at the south this winter, or
matters about as important. A young
lady about Alice's size was then sent
into the next room-which was dark
and cuddled herself up on one end of
the sofa; and an aunt of Fred's came to
him and whispered the awful news that
she was on the sofa in the sitting room,
feeling badly over something. Fred's
face Immediately heightened, and he ex-
cused himself and went into the dark
room, as he supposed to see his wife.
The snow reflected just light enough to
enable him to see female form on the
sofa with a handkerchief at her face.
"Alice, my poor sweet dear what is the
matter ?" he exclaimed in a low, plain
tive voice, which the listening company
in the parlor heard, nevertheless. ''My
little lamb-Feddy's own one p he said,
sitting down beside her and drawing her
into his arms, what as the matter? Speak
won't you, and tell Freddy all about it 2"
And then followed a number of kisses,
which sounded as somebody said, like the
noise a cow makes in pulling her foot
from tenacious mud hole She enjoyed
it there on the sofa, and her whole per-
son shook so with amusement, that Fed
dy' thought she was weeping all the
time and greatly agitated. The COM
pany IN the parlor enjoyed themselves
wonderfully during this scene, because,
listening keenly, they heard every word
that Fed uttered. But pretty soon Alice
herself returned, and then they conclud-
ed the joke had been carried far enough,
and pushed open the folding doors.
There sat Fred and Miss B, ..arm
in arm," and wing -and-wing. The
one was tenderly repeating my own
Alice" and the other was nearly suffo-
Gated with laughter and squeezes and
kisses. In an instant after the light
struck them Fred saw his mistake. SAnd
sheepish-looking, crest-fallen individual
as he was. was never seen before. The
company raised a shout of laughter.
His face glowed with rosy hue, and he
wanted to faint and sink through the.
floor but finally he concluded to laugh
it off and make the best of it. As for
Alice-well. no matter. The reader
can imagine the rest.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09
The ReceiIIe.
HARK hear the tramp of thousands,
And If armed men the hum:
Lo! nations hosts have gathered

HARK | hear the tramp of thousands,
And If armed men the hum;
Lo! nations hosts have gathered
Round the quick alarming drum
Saying, Come.
Freemen, come!
Ere your heritage be wasted" said the
quick alarming drum
''Let me of nv heart take counsel:
War is not of Life the sum:
Who shall stay and reap the harvest
When the autumn days shall come ?"
But the drum
Echoed, Come,
Death shall reap the Drawer harvest, !"
said the solemn-sounding drum
But when won the coming battle,
What of profit springs therefrOm? ?
What if conquest, subjugation.
Even greater Ills become ?''
But the drum
Answered, Come,
You must do the sum to prove it," said
the Yankee-answering drum.
What if. mid the lannon's thunder.
Whistling shot and bursting bomb.
When my brothers fall around NE.
Should my heart grow cold and numb -
But the drum
Answered. Come
Better there in death united, than in life
q recTeant.-cOme
Thus they answered. hoping. fearing.
Some in faith. and doubling some,
Till the trumpet-voice proclaiming.
Said, My chosen people. come :"
Then the drum,
Lo, was dumb.
For the great heart Of the nation, throb-
bing, answered. Lord. we come -
Bret Harte.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

A BEAUTIFUL TREE.-Ihe eamphor
tree perfumes the air. and its leaves
Weld the finest honey. Ii often reaches
a hundred feet in height. with a glrth
Of fifty feet. The eprecious gum Is found
sometimes in layers as large as man $
arm. but more frequently in small frag-
ments, extracted with sharp-pointed in-
struments. The wood il excellent for
house. ship-timber and furniture. and.
excepting the teak and calambuco. Is
the only wood never attacked by the
nyriads Of vcracious insects in the East
Indies. The common kinds Of camphor
are procured by distillation.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

SMART THING.-A mustard plaster.
Mosquitoes are buzzing around Flori-
da-
The London Times says that great
men are always in debt. In this partie-
ular great men have a multitude Of i'm
itators.
An indianapolis beggar goes about
selling his wife's wedding-ring to buv
bread for his children. He has already
sold seventy-fve of it.
Photography is to be taught in the
girls high school at Boston. If the
girls are pretty, We should think it would
be a very agreeable past time.
A fre-proof paper has been invented.
We are glad Of this. because there will
no longer be danger of combustion from
red-hot editorials-Biek Pomer0y.
The Rochester Times publishes death
notices free, and charges fifty cents for a
notice of marriage This leaves but one
course Of action open to the poor man.
What a pity it is that Ben Franklin
couldn't have lived till now. He would
have been one hundred and sixty-fve
years old, and for that reason a curios-
ity.
A young lady of Albion. \. Y, went
sleigh-ridiug with her affanced the other
evening and was nearly frozen to death.
Why. We never heard Of such a case
what could the young man have been
thinking of?
A prisoner in petty court was asked
by the Judge if he had any counsel.
YES" he said. Il had engaged an old
bald-headed fellow to defend me. but ]
don't see him round, and | rather guess
he's out for drink"
4 Michigan school nam points out
the sad fact that no school-master has
ever been President Well. she needn't
make so much fuss about it; we never
heard that a school-ma'm ever reached
that position. either.
An Indian doctor in Washington Ter.
ritory was recently unfortunate enough
to have patient. squaw. die under
his treatment. and. as be was too poor Il
compensate the husband for his loss, ths
latter balanced the account by shooting
/ the doctor.
In Westfeld. Mass, they are making
a good deal of fuss just because one o
the school ma'ams there allows he
/ young man TO sit teside her during schoo
hours, with his arm around her waist
and occasionally refreshing himself wit
a kiss. Our opinion Is that any fellow
who has the hardihood to hug q Massa
chusetts school na'am ought TO be per
mitted TO do so under all circumstances
If school ma am Is TO be deprived 0
such luxuries as that what in the nam
Of humanity Is the constitution Of th
United States good for 2-Pomeroy
| Democrat.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

GETTING THEN OUT.-A family nam
ed Prather occupying house on Crog-
han street. have paid no rent for three
months, and the landlord has been try
ing to get them out. He took away the
front steps as a gentle hint, but they
lived right on. Then he got hold Of the
front door key, but they went around 10
the side door. The landlord then put a
carpenter in the parlor to make repairs,
but the family moved into the kitchen,
and were stiIl happy. After due cOnsid-
Grafton the landlord took the windows
out Of the parlor and bedroom, but the
family had good stove and plenty Of
wood. Next. after learning that he had
not discouraged his tenants, the owner
Of the house went IN and removed all
the doors and windows, leaving the pure
air Of heaven rushing through the old
coop like runaway mule He thinks
they will leave in day or two, but ii i
doubtful. as pedestrians who passed the
house in the afternoon saw the children
/ playing horse in the windows. and the
father seated on the bed mending rat
] trap.--Buyitngtoqs free Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09
SITTING UP WITH HER.

She was expecting him Saturday
night the parlor curtains were down,
the old folks notified that it was healthy
to 60 to bed at eight o'clock, and john
ny, bribed with cent, permitted him.
self to be tucked away at sundown. He
sneaked up the path, one eye on the dog
and the other watching for the "old
man, who didn't like him any too well,
gave faint knock at the door, and it
was opened and he was escorted into the
parlor. He said he couldn't stay but a
minute. though he didn't mean to 90 for
hours She wanted to know how his
mother was if his father had returned
from York State and if his brother
Bills rheumatism was any better and
he went over and sat down on the sofa,
so as not to strain his voice. Then con-
Versatlon tagged. and he played with
his hat, and she nibbled at the sofa tt
dy. He finally said it was beautiful
evening, and she replied that her grand
father predicted snow storm He said
he guessed it wouldn't snow. as the
moon wasn't crooked enough to hang a
powder-horn on the end, and she said
she didn't believe it would, either. This
mutual understanding seemed to give
each other courage, and he wanted to
know if she had seen Bill Jones lately.
She hadn't, she said. and didn't want to.
Then they went to talking about the do
nation visit which was to be given Elder
Berry, and he carelessly dropped his
hand on hers-his right hand, while his
left arm sneaked along the sofa and got
behind her shoulders.
She pretended not to notice it. and he
looked down at his boots and wanted to
know if she thought mutton tallow rot
ted out boots faster than lard and lamp
black. She couldn't say, but she had
an idea that it did. He had just com
menced to lock fingers with her, when
she discovered that something allied the
lamp. She rose up and turned the lamp
down half, making the room look dim.
1t took him five minutes to get hold Of
her finger again. and SIZE pretended to
want to draw her hand away all the time.
After long pause he lowered his voice
to a whisper, and said he didn't see what
made folks love each other. She bit her
handkerchief and admitted her igno-
rance. He said that he could name a
dozen young men who we're going to get
married right away, and his left arm
fell down and gave her hug. Then he
went over and looked out Of the window
TO make sure that it was or was not 60
ing to snow, and, coming back, he turn
ed the light down little more, and then
sat down and wanted to know if she did
not want to rest herself by leaning her
head on his shoulder.
All, me We have all been there, and
who Of Us cared a cent when the old
clock struck twelve, and we five miles
from home ? The old man was fast
asleep, the watchdog gone a-yisiting.
and the handsomest girl in the country
didn't see why we need be in hurry.
/ Lyndeboro, n. H. has no lawyer. no
doctor, no tavern ard no erog shop. JET
within the limits Of one school district
/ ii has twenty-three sewing machines and
one knitting machine. This Is only get
/ ting on sew-sew.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

A REMISIscENCE OF SENATOR ALLEN.
"A friend informs us that when he was
boy at college he had a roommate
from the State Of Ohio. He was fond
Of speaking of the celebrities Of his ma
tive State, and Senator Allen-then pop
ularly known as "Chinese Gong Allen
was one Of the chosen heroes. He re-
lated to our friend the following incl
dent, which may prove interesting at
this day. The senator was addressing
large audience in the native town OF our
informant. When about half way thro'
bis speech, after making some positive
assertion. stentorian voice cried out /;
That's lie, sir p
The Senator paused moment, and
then asked
"What is your name, sir 2?
The answer was given
"My name is Vass."
The senator responded
II move that V be stricken from that
mans name all you in favor of it. say
aye"
And hundred voices cried out, Aye
"Now you are voted an ass, resumed
the senator.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

COOP LANGUAGE.-Young people
should acquire the habit ofcOrrect speak
ing and writing, and abandon as esrley
as possible any use of slang words and
phrases The longer you put this off,
the more difficult the requirement of cor
rect language will be; and if the golden
age of youth. the proper season for the
acquisition of language. be passed in its
abuse, the unfortunate victim will most
probably be doomed to talk slang for
life. You have merely to use the lam
guage which you read, instead Of the
slang which you hear, to form a taste
in agreement with the best speakers and
poets in the country.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

Wars WAsTE.-Give me the money
that has been spent in war, and l will
purchase every foot of land upon the
globe Twill clothe every man, woman,
and child in an attire of which kings
and queens might be proud. | will build
a school-house on every hillside and in
every valley over the earth; | will build
an academy in every town, and | will
endow it; a college in every state, and
FIJI it with able professors; will crown
every hill with a place of worship, con-
secrated to the PRONUNCIATION of the gos-
pei of peace; | will support in every
pulpit an able teacher Of Righteousness,
so that on every Sabbath morning the
chime on one hill should answer TO the
chime on another around the earth's
wide circumference and the voice of
PRAYER and the song of praise should as
cend like a universal holocaust to heav-
en.-RafuS ,SterenS.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

WILSON STREIGHT of MoultOn, Iowa
advertises in the papers that his wife is
about the worst woman in the world
that he cannot keep her Streight and
Cyrus Cation has proved himself not
Joseph. This is good joke on Cyrus !
As the husband has made his affairs
public we wish he would tell US why
his wife became ''disreputable woman"
as he advertises her to be. and if he has
always been the kind. virtuous husband
he doubtless promised to be. Many a
man thinks it very proper to be husband
to any and all women; to roam at will
in secret glens and to fill the soul of his
wife with spirits of hell. But she must
wash dirty shirts, sit up nights and take
to her arms all of him that comes back
from embracking some other woman,
and thank God that she has a husband .
Not that Wilsen Streight was that kind
of a man. but as he comes before the
public dragging his wife by the hair,
we really would like to know all about
it. and to know who flung the first stone ?
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

"a little nonsense now and then.
Is relished by the ~ lsest men"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

Lyndeboro, n. H.. has no lawyer. no
doctor, no tavern ard no grog shop, yet
within the limits Of one school district
ii has twenty-three sewing g-machines and
one knitting machine. This Is only get
ting on sew-sew.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-02-09

TENHE SANE OLD CHAP As EVER. always On
1 Haui at his Post o. Trade where Every man
Loves Trade for Goods IN his line such as Harness
and THware. Livery Stable and Groceries YictuzIses
At his House and Clipper Seyths with other Eztabes
and g05d place for travellers horses At his barn--
IrasbuTgh, VI 2-94
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27
ANCHOR LINE STEAMERS.

E @'.[ t-.'' ". S''''o'''
Passengers booked TO and from any RailN 4 ia
ton or Seaport in Great E-ta,n, lrcant, Nor
way, sweden, Denmark. Germany, France, II Oh
land, Belgium, ami the nitct states,
Cabin iaro from n NV lOEk to LONDON. EIN-
ERpOOL, GLASGOW aud DEkkl by Mcdue--
day. Steamer IS $50 By SATURDAYS teamers S65
and $50.
EXCURSION TlCKETs, sl"O.
INTERMEDIATE, $40, SIEtEAGE. SO :
Payable in Currency.
Parties sending Tor their friends ia The Old Couq-
try can purchase tickets al lowest rates For tur-
ther Iartcul4r. apply to the Agents, HENDEk-
SON BROTHERS. : Bowling Groru, \ y. 10 =
SAMlJ GL l.. BEr1S,
WV " tltuIngian
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27

The "Feton" leaye, FrcnIl street sl
Wharf AT :. A. NJ. and returning .Mnnaazizass2-
leaves Chestnut street. Philadolrmt. At !" T.. NJ.
Fare 10 lhilaiclrhia ...... ........... - Gents
Return trip tickets ~
Freight taken at usual rate.
Ss-PLrtIcS shipping carriages are notified that
the line will not be Ie~pou-Ihlr tor any damage
after landing on the wharf at hhIlLdtllhd.
Mr.. IaRgart will forward them at shippers ri,k
II requested To 10 50. m,-lm
rINO THE PUBLIC.
L The Wilmington and Reading Railroad COM
lany have completed arrangement 10 carry Money
Packages and Express Matter and from all points
ON the line OF their road and West Chester.
Also, to all points on the Philadelphia and Real
ing and Catawissa Railroads. including Reading.
Allentown, Columbia, liarri, burg. Lanca.te Down
pottsNille. Sc.
For further information apply at the DEPOT cor
her ot Front and Madison streets Niimiugtuu.
kxpress matter sent To franklin TELEGRAPH off Q,
No, w est Third street or II their Depot, Front
and Madison, or orders left with McId'len 4 seal.
delivering agent. will receive prompt attention.
L. SlOLZ.
aS-tf Genr Sun't W & K r. %
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27
W Wilmington and western u. H
TIME TARE.I.

FALL AM MIATRsEARkANHEME
3fssp5IiA Commencing oct. it,. 1874, train. will
S@Y8~ run follows:
Leave Wilmington 10 20 n. III. and 8 81 y. IN.
Leave Landenberg A., a. m, and 80 =. m,
Arrive at " Ilmington a, III. ana $50 y
ATrlNc at Landenberg l.. 50 a m. and 20 = IN
CUNNEtIlONS-Tra leaving Whining Ion IT
10 I'd u III with train leaving Philadelphia at 90
a III.
Train leaving Wilmington at 3 - = IN, connects
with train leaving Philadelphia at On IN.
Train arriving at Wilmington at 81 a IN. with
tram Tor Phiadel phia at 10 m.
Tram arriving at Milmtn.tnn al 3 10 with train
for Philadelphia at pm m
sunday trains viii .. withdrawn AMER ucl. l.t
Dan I'D CONNELL, sun.
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27
Steamer S. Nj. FELTON,,
FOR PHILADELPHIA

The FELTON, Iesye, Frcn"h street 81,
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27
Yints nf crawl.
WILMINGTON AND READING RIAL
" ROAD.

On and after rucsdav. May Goth. 1874. ttains
will run OVER MAIN LINE AND REApl M
BRANCH to and from Reading without change Of
cars, on the following time:
Wilmington daily gazette., 1874-05-27
Philadelphia, Wilmington and
Baltimore Railroad,
ArRiL %, 1871.

Trains will leave Wilmington as follows i"r
Philadelphia and Intermediate Statiuns.G ~. ~.
80, ~ ~ u. N =. Il. l.. 10 - v. III. 49,
Philadelphia and New Aork, 81 n. IN l2lI. b l.
j. III.
baltimore and intermediate Stations, l. -, 10 o..
H. IN, - y, III.
Baltimore and Washington, II ", O} 10 r., n, M
$50 ~. = lu y. M.
Trains for Delaware pNision. leave for
New Castle, y S. 10 10 M; -, -, 80 u. N.
Seaiord and intermediate stations, l. ~, 10 IL a
III u 81 y, III.
Delmar and Intermediate Stations, L. 81. IL 10
a. IN.
SUNDAY TRAlNs.
Philadelphia and intermediate stations. I A. 3D.
T. IL.
PHILADELPHIA and New York. ! Il a. N.
Baltimore and W shngton. t. -. - o. u. m
For further Information PASSENGERS are referred
10 tho time tables posted 1t tho dvput. -
ii. +. KENNEl,
mEtll lNjtw Suittlutend, ut.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-12-04

Don't tell the little one, who may be slight
ly willful, that "the black man will come
out of the dark cellar and carry it off 1t il
does not mind" Don't create needless
fear to go with the child through all the
stages of its existence.
Don't tell the little tive-year old Jimmy
"the school na'am will cut off his ears''-
"pull out his te, thn-"tie him up"-ol
any of the horrible stories that are com.
monty presented to The childish imagina.
ton. Think you the little one will be.
lieve anything you tell him after he be
comes acquainted with the gentle teacher
who has not the least idea of putting those
terrible threats into execution
Don't tell the children they must moi
drink tea because it will make them black
while you continue the use of it daily
Your example is more to them than pre-
cept and while your face is as fair rs Q
June morning they will scarcely credit the
ott-told tale. Either give up drinking the
pleasant beverage OF give your children q
better reason for its non-use.
Don't tell them they must not eat sugar
or sweetmeats, because it will rot theil
teeth. Pure sugar does not cause the teeth
NSS"J "h~' ouSoei WIN II ui'S 10 huti L
tious and healthy, Notwithstanding the
"old saw" to the contrary. The case Of
city children is often cited as if the cause
OF their pale faces and slight constitution
were an over amount of sweetmeats with
their diet, when the actual cause is want Of
pure air and proper exercise. Don't tell
the sick one that the medicine is not bad
to take when you can hardly keep your
own stomach from turning "inside OUT at
the smell of it. Better by far to tell him
the simple truth, that it is disagreeable,
but necessary for his health, and you de-
sire him to take it at once. Ten to one he
will swallow it with half the trouble OF
coaxing and worry of words, and love you
better for your firm, decided manner.
Don't teach the children by example to
tell white lies to each other and to their
neighbors. Guard your lips and bride your
tongue if you desire the coming genera
ton to be truthful. Truthfulness is one of
the foundation stones Of heaven. Remem-
Der the old, old Book says, "no liar" shall
enter within the gates Of the beautiful city.
There is no distinction between white lies
and those of darker hue. The falsehood
is an unturtb, whether the matter be great
or small.-Rural Neao Yorker.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-12-04
From the Pail Mall Gazette.
Turning Points i'm Physical Life.

From twenty-five to thirty-fve is the
true time for all the enjoyment of mans
best powers, when physical vigor is ever at
its highest. During the last half of this
decade man should be assiduous to con-
struct system of philosophy by which to
rule his life and to construct chain OF
habits intelligently; so that they should
not sit too tightly upon him, and yet eau
tiously, so that he should neither be their
slave nor too easily cast them aside. The
exact proportion of physical and intellec-
tual strength should be gagged, and the
constitutional weakness, or, in other words,
the disease toward which tendency ex-
lists, should be ascertained. Preserve if
possible, the absolute necessity for exercise
and have your place of business two or
three miles away, over which let nothing
tempt you to an omnibus or carriage save
rain The day on which medical man
gives up riding to see his country patients
or the use of his own legs to see his pa
tients in town, and takes to close brough
am, fixes the date when sedentary diseases
are set up-wEie if, to utilize his leisure,
he reads as he drives, his eyesight becomes
seriously affected. From thirty-fve to for
ty-five man should arrange with his food
and avoid hypochondria. He cannot, it is
true, change his diathesis, but he can man
age it. The habitual character of food, no
less than its quantity, begins to tell wheth-
er it changes the system with fat, muscle,
sinew, fiber, or watery particles. From
forty five to fifty five the recuperative pow
ers should be encouraged and developed.
There is nothing like work to keep an
old horse sound Sporting dogs should be
thin, but obesity will set in. Anxiety
ought to be STAYED off, hope encouraged,
sordid cares avoided. If a grief exists, it
should not be brooded over, but talked
out with friend, guaged, estimated at its
worst, and dismissed to absorb itself If
a man at this time is much occupied out.
doors, and lives wholesomely and temper
ately, he is pretty sure to be clear of seden-
tary disease. rheumatism, coughs and
infammatory diseases, arising from ex.
posture to wet or cold, a man of forty five
will have to contend with, but his blood
will be condition for the struggle. Mod
crate exposure to hardships Of this kind
never harmed man yet.