The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-09-10
An Enterprising Solicitor.

An Enterprising Solicitor.
He wanted to help edit. He said he al
WAYS wanted to work around newspa-
per, and he hoped we would give him a
job. We told him good many had tried
TO work around us, but we were getting
sharper as we got along. As Beecher
says, our education was beginning to tell
on us. Then he begged, five couldn'tlet
him edit, that we would set him at some
thing else. We pondered a spell, and
then asked him If he ever tried canvass
ing. He said yes /; he worked in pork
house one winter, and canvassed hams,
but he never liked it. Thought he would
prefer to canvass trunks, or what was IN
tinitely better, canvas-back ducks. we
explained that we meant canvassing for
notwithstanding among business houses
and prevailing on them to advertise In the
Saturday Night. Asked him If he didn {
think he could go out and bring in an adj
vertiser that afternoon.
He said he thought he could, and look
ing out of the window he exclaimed,
There goes one, now-back in a minute, :"
and flew down stairs in about two jumps.
In a few minutes after there was a fright
full rumpus on the stairway, mingled with
cries of ''Come right along" - Lem'me
be! - Bound to have YET" . Tell'ye I'll
bust yer head if don't leggo!' We hast
ened to the spot and found our new solicit
tor making the most strenuous efforts to
lug the pOrtly form of our old friend, DIR.
Kerr, the System Renovation man, up stairs,
Notwithstanding his struggles and remon-
strances.
What are you doing there?" we cried.
Bringing in an advertiser" our solicit
tor shouted, land it's the toughest job L
ever undertook"
The doctor released himself with a stur-
| DIV kick that sent our solicitor rolling to
the foot of the stairs, and then wanted to
know what in thunder's goin' on"
We explained that it was a new solicitor
we had just engaged, and he was little
too energetic, but meant well. The doc
tor said the papers had lugged him in in a
good many ways, but never in that way
| before.
While we admired the pluck of our new
man, tackling one of the heaviest adver-
tisers in the city, yet we could not APP
prove of his way of bringing him in. We
made him apologize to the doctors and then
gave him further instructions before let
ting him start out again. He had devel-
oped an energy and courage in graphing
an advertiser which we thought would
render him a valuable adjunct to such a
concern as ours. Advertisers rather like
boldness and audacity in a solicitor. We
told him he had a future before him. After
soliciting for a newspaper few years he
might become a newspaper proprietor
himself. and wind up by soliciting aims.
This encouraged him greatly.
1t was a dull season with advertisers.
and we told him if be couldn't get people
TO advertise for cash to take it out in trade
He said he knew now what to do, and
started away. We didn't hear anything OF
him for four days, and then he came in
with the worst head on him we ever saw,
1t was in the shape of snuff-bladder, and
would hold about bushel.
"What have you been up to-" we i'll,
quired.
"Taking it out in trade" he managed tC
articulate.
He said he had induced a boXing-mastcl
to put card in Saturday Night one year
agreeing to take it out in trade, and this
was all there was left of him. He said he
had traded it only about half out, and ht
wanted some one else to go up and get The
rest oft
1t was the most extraordinary instance
of zeal in solicitor we ever encountered
That wasn't all. He had thirty-twO adj
vertisements of separate and distinct pat
ent medicines, all of which he had takeI
out in trade. And he had taken the medi
cine, too, every bit o. it. He had engaged
to advertise about a dozen quack doctors
and take it out in vaccination, and he wa
tattOOed like a South Sea Islander. If al
that vaccine matter takes it will take hin
along with it. He hadn't a tooth in hi
head, cause he had secured the patronag,
of half the dentists in town and endeavOreC
to trade it all out himself.
When he said to a dentist: "AdvertiSt
and take it out in trade, - the dentist imme
diately bounced him into chair. clappeC
his fOrceps into his mouth and jerked on
a tooth. Dentists don't like to allow sucl
accounts to run.
''Was that all?' we calmly asked. No
he said, he got an advertisement frou
some fifty saloons, and took that in trade
This confused him a little, and made hin
feel like a bonded warehouse. He wen
up to the Ninth-street StatiOn-hOuse, ant
solicited an advertisement of Captain
-, agreeing to take it out in trade
The captain said the statiOn-hOuse wa
sufficiently advertised already, but if
would trade it out it was all right. Thel
he locked me up and kept me twenty-fou
hours. ..
We felt it was no use trying to dis
charge that man. We had only to let hin
60 on taking advertising out in trade ant
he would soon make a finish of himself, 81
when he asked if he should try it again
we said, "Certainly, keep right on tn
way you have begun, and it's all right"
We afterwards heard of him at the gas
office soliciting Barney Cunningham TO
an advertisement, agreeing to take it il
trade. He had patent pail in his hanC
to carry gas in, and said if they would al
vertise he would take pail full now.
Then he disappearedtOr a week, and w
ascertained that he had secured an adver
tisement for Old John Robinson's show
and was taking it out in circus tickets
every one of which he was using him
self.
A catastrophe at length occurred to on
solicitor, as we anticipated. He had ira
ded out an advertisement with BradfOrt
& Co., dealers in mill-stOnes, and, after sc
Letting one of the largest sizes, started [,
roll it down to our Office, when it topplet
over on top of him and smashed him a
flat as pancake. He is now repOsing il
casket made expressly for him by Cane
Breed & Co., the only serviceable thing h
has been able to ''take out in trade
"Gris. :" IN Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Handy Eor.dan- DnIInr.