The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-05-21
,*rom tns- ia e.s-', TTi .Gne
lac sIOrJ DTalOsIa. .dFd.


A prominent mrrcii,f-I in st. J -
sePh, Missouri, J B JOfh-..si, Esq +,
has gVt himself INTO truuGI-, TIE Dust-
master, of St Joseph into trouble, and
/ the Government of the United States
Int1 trouble, all growing out uf = bit
OF pastebOard with some writing on il.
Some weeks ago, Mr. johnson, hav-
ing occasion 70 order goods from
chicago, pUsted a label about the sizs
OF postage stamp, bearing his BUSH
ness address on the postal card. The
Cnicago correspondents received the
eard IN due time, but had to pay six
cents extra postage, and so notified
Mr. Johnson As the latter had been
In the habit Of posting these labels for
some time and had never before been
called upon for extra postage, he con-
suited the postmaster of st. Joseph,
Mr.. Arnhoit, about ii. The latter au-
thority informed him that he had 3
right to label the cards and could con-
tinue to do so with safety, unless the
cards were going to Chicago, whose
postmaster didn't understand the law.
Ihereupon, in happy frame Of mind,
Mr.. johnson addressed 4 card to the
Chicago house, in his best handWrit-
Ing and with feeling Of exulsatiOn,
triumphantly and in q bold hand
wrote these words "Our postmaster
says your postmaster Is an ass.n The
Chicago postmaster forwarded the OBJ
noxious postal card to Washington.
Mr.. Cresswell put on his spectaeles
and read the st. Joseph pOstmaster's
pithy opinion OF the Chicago post
master. The result Of the reading was
postal card from Mr.. CrvssweIl to
the 81 Joseph postmaster, which
nearly lifted the latter funetiOnary
out Of his boots, and made him re-
aliZe, as ne had never done before,
how frail the tenure Of 3 pOstOffiee may
be. FhereupOn the postmaster called
upon Mr.. Johnson and informed him
that he had never said the postmaster
Of Chicago was an ass. Mr.. Johnson
brushed up his memory, and, after
awhile, concluded he was mistaken
IN the language used, and gave his
postmaster = statement to that effect.
He forwarded the statement to Mr..
Cresswell, aud once more felt secure
in his Office. But 1t did not end here,
for on Thursday last an order came
for the arrest OF Mr.. johnson for using
seurriiOus language on = postal card,
and that night he was arrested. Thus,
for the sake OF q little business label
about the size OF = postage stamp, the
st. Joseph merchant got into q diff
Guilty with the st. Joseph postmaster
and the Chicago postmaster, got the
st. Joseph postmaster by the ears, got
the st. Joseph postmaster into trouble
with the Government and has got him.
self into tight place, In which he
may have to pay from 500 to 81 900
or go to Jail aud stay from one year to
ten years, before he can extrieate him
self. He has written q card to the st.
Joseph Gazette, in which he says
When Shakespeare made the illus
trious DOgbeIry say, "Write me down
an ass" he WAS in blissful ignorance
that such language was "obscene or
scurrilOus." That discovery was re-
served as the genius who presides over
the pOstOffice at Chicago. Webster
defines the term ass as "a dull, heavy,
stupid fellow; dolt." Worcester
and other photographers give almost
identically the same definition. In
such . sense It Is used by the best
English writers. Such is the sense in
which used the expression, as the
connection very clearly shows.
IN what sense, Websterian, WOr-
eesterian, D0gberryan or JOhhstOnian,
the st. Joseph merchant called the
Chicago postmaster an ass, 1t now be-
hOOves him to show or pay the PEN
atty.