Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-05-14
Aumuruus department.
HOOK MY FROCK.

HOOK MY FROCK.
a day or two ago Justice Jecko, of St.
Louis, received call from young man and
young woman, each of whom was the bearer
of a portly carpet.sack.
"Be you the squirrel" asked the young man
with an air of dif6dence.
81 be. Doyou want to get married ?"
Eyes, sir. We want it done right away,
don't we, Mollie?"
eyes, Squire" said Mollie, "but hain't
you got dressing room, where can put on
my bridal. dress and titivate little?"
81 am sorry to ssy my bridal chamber is
crammed full of hobby horses, toys, trinkets
and stuff seized by the constable from a
fancy store. However, there it is, if you
think there is room enough for you to dress. "
The bride looked into the room adjoining
the office, and declared that she could make
out to slip on her dress in it, With carpet.
sack in hand, she entered the lumber room
and closed the door. The bridegroom asked
for another room, saying he had his wedding
fxings in his valse, and would like to put
them on. He was told there was no other
room vacant, and that he would have to take
seat and wait until the bride had enrobed
herself and then he could take his turn.
The young man sat down with an air of
impatience, holding the carpetsack between
his knees and twirling his thumbs. Consta-
BILE Mckeary, whose appearance is that of a
Don Juan Of the most killing type (although
in reality he is the chastest man that ever
chased juryman or replevined widows
parlor furniture,) had been writing at his
desk when the bridal party entered, and now
arose and passed into the passage way leading
down stairs. The young man with the carpet
sack turned red in the face as he saw the
door close upon the constable. He evidently
- thought McKeary had gone into the store
room where the bride was making her toilet.
He became nervous, threw his carpetsack
into the corner, arose, sat down in another
chair, and was extremely 6dgetty. The more
he tried to conceal his emotion the redder his
face grew. At length, unable longer to en-
dure the agony of doubt and mistrust he ran
to the door Of the store-room and entered. A
scream was heard, and then the young man
returned looking very sheepish.
This rash act of the bridegroom's came
near breaking off the match, but the Justice
explained to the bride that it was all mis-
take.
Are you married man, Squire ?" asked
the bride, putting her face to a crack in the
door.
Eyes, l have been married ever so long y
"Well, then, l wish you would just come
in here and hook my frock."
The Justice complied with the modest re.
quest, and in moment the bride came out in
gorgeous attire. The bridegroom then entered
the room and made his toilet, and when he
returned the ceremony was performed without
delay. Then the bride re-entered the store.
room and changed her dress, and the happy
couple marched out, with their carpet-sacks,
highly elated.
81 DoN'T CARE IF l Do."-In olden time
before the Maine laws we're invented, Wing
kept the hotel at Middle Granville, and from
his well-stocked bar furnished "accommoda,
tions to man and beast" He was good
landlord, but terribly deaf Fish, the village
painter, was afflicted in the same way.
One day they were sitting by themselves in
the bar-room. Wing was behind the counter
waiting for the next customer, while Fish was
lounging before the fire with thirsty look
casting sleeps eyes occasionally at Wings
decanters, and wishing most devoutly that
some one would come in and treat.
A traveller from the South On his way to
Brandon, stepped in to inquire the distance
Going up to the counter, he said
"Can you tell me, sir, how far it is to Bran
don?"
"Brandy?" says the ready landlord, jump
ing up; Eyes, sir, I have some;' at the same
time handing down decanter of the precious
liquid.
You misunderstood me" says the stran
ger, 81 asked how far it was to Brandon"
"rhey call it pretty good brandy" says
Wing "Will you take sugar with it% reach
ing, as he spoke, for the bowl and toddy-stick
The despairing traveller turned to Fish.
"The landlord" said he, "seems to be deaf
will you tell me how far it is to Brandon? ?"
"Thank you," said fish, 81 don't care if
do take drink with you"
The stranger treated, and fled.