The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1874-08-06

men and girls come in to price and over
haul the things, without the remotegt
idea of purchasing anything-and 1t is
often irving TO ones patience, but you
must wait upon them, for there is nopos-
sible means of tellinga woman who shops
for pastime and one who shops in earn
est, SO YOU must be careful, be polite, be
spry, and never let person go without
making purchase, if you can possibly
help it, lNl IO I'll, fll.,
Ifa person asks for something we have
not potendeayor to make them take
something else. If lady asks whether
four-pmny calicOes orsix-penny delaines
win wash, say, yes ma'am, beautifully. l
have seen them tried, and if they say,
are those ten cent aanRels real shaker
flannels, or nine pence hose all nierino,
better not contradict them, say yes mgam
I've tried it-seen Vt tded-know they
are, or similar answers to the various
questions that may be asked, said Cheat
um.
ayes. SIR responded jeremiah, 81 un-
.defstand you- fyl ull $3.50 ial
T-And, William.
Jeremiah, sir"
~Oh. yes: well Jediah-Jeremiah,
would say-when YOU make change, ney-
er take ten cents and two cents fora shil-
ling. but give it as often as practicable
look out for the fractions in adding up
and beware of torn shinplasters and bo-
gus coppers," said Cheatum, with much
emphasis of manner.
"Im pooty well posted up, SIR, IN all oi
that, said jeremiah. ... ri-
"And NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
would say, in measuring always pu'
your thumb, so, and when You move the
yard-stick forward, shove you thumb an
inch or 50 back on measuring close you
can squeeze out five yards from four and
three-Quarters, you understand; and al
wavs bewatehfll that SOME Of those nim-
Bile, light fingered gentry folks don't ship
a roll of ribbons, or pair of gloves INTO
their bosom pockets, or under their
shawl Be very careful, Henry-J Gems
L siy, said Chetum I. ||l. ItI
Being duly rehearsed, jeremiah went
TO work. The first customer was llttle
girl, who bought yard of ribbon Tor
ninepencc, and lie stretchedseven-elghts
into full ward which feat brought down
the vials of wrath Of the girls mother,
whose tongue lashed poor Jeremiah aw-
fully.
He sold four-penny calico, and waran-
ted it TO wash the enoxt day it came back;
and the Old woman with it; the colors
and starch were all out,by dipping 1t in
water, and she went on so that Cheatum
was glad to refund her money to get rid
of her.
A young lady inquired for diapering-
Jeremiah exhibited the article, and upon
her asking if was real birds eye, he at-
firmed it was, and the very best article
too, for he used it himself The young
lady was put to the blush and left the
store, and Cheatum reprimanded him
roundly.
Two dashing young ladies out shop
ping for their own diversion, gave Jere-
miah call he labored with hand and
tongue-he hauled down and exhibited
Cheatum's entire stock. The girls were
about leaving saying that they would
call again, and jeremiah very amlably
remarked: "do ladics-call again, like to
secure your custom"
The young ladies too.. his asan insult
Their big brothers waited on Mr. Bump,
and nothing short of his humble apollo
gies saved him from cowhiding.
jeremiah saw suspicious looking wo-
man enter the store, and after overhaul
ing box of gloves he thought he saw in
her pocket pair. He intercepted the
lady as she was going out-grabbed her
her by the pocket-the lady resisted
jeremiah held on-she fainted-and Jer-
emiah nearly tore her dress off in pull
ing out the gloves. The lady proved to
be the wife of a distinguished citizen, and
had purchased the gloves at another
place. This was followed by lawsuit,
and Bump was fined 500, and sent to the
house of correction for sixty days
How many new clerks Nebuchadnezzar
Cheatum has put through since then, we
know not, but jeremiah Bump is now
engaged in the practical science of agri-
culture, and shuddersat the idea Of young
men from the country being wanted in a
dry goods store, if they have got to see
the elephant which he observed while
he was in Boston,