National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-04-10
poLIoE COURT SKETCHES
JUDGE SMELLS RECEPTION YEsTER-
nAX


John Msges is private member of the regular
army. He is good soldier, but, unfortunately
for his reputation, he got into the habit Of radng
on chicken-coops during his march with Sherman
through Georgia to the SEQ, and notwithstanding
the christianizing influence Of peace and Wash
ington society the old habit clngs to him with
the tenacity Of q mother-in-law, and has ct last
brought him TO grief As he was passing by Geo.
Browns backyard, on his way to Fort Whipple
he heard the familiar chirp of spring chicken.
He stopped and listened. Again the chirp
was heard. 1t was that OF fat fowl, full
Of maturity and tempting tenderness. I'm
mediately the exciting scenes Of "a passed
through his mind, and forgetting his rela-
ton to society and the law he east o fur
tive glance about reached ncrvousiy up and
caught firm hold Of the fence, dropped his honor
on the outside, gave spring and landed on his
neck and shoulders In the centre OF Geo. Browns
strawberry patch. He remarked something about
luck, and then crawled cautiously to the henery.
The chickens had heard his landing, and were
all aroused and conversing in an animated way
about the best mode OF defence He had been in
similar circumstances before, and knowing that
delay was dangerous, he made no reply to their
spirited inquiries, but marched straight up to the
roost, reached in and pulled out g mother OF six
chickens by the neck and darted hastily
for the fence. The coop was thrown
into the widest commotioR, and each hen
screamed Fire" and Help" until the
night was made hideous with their yells. Magee
became nervous; he imagined that the back door
was being opened by q very mad man with q shot
gun. He caught hold of the picket fence with one
hand, grasped the hens throat firmly with the
other, and jumped for the street. There are times
in the lives of some men when the slightest mis-
takes are ruinous. This was one Of those times to
John Magee. He failed to clear the fence, and
fail hadI fnru tab raA
its pointed peak trile higher than its comrades,
gathered up his streaming coat-faps and sus-
pended him in mid-air. John Magee was hung;
not exactly according to law, but something on the
equity system. It seemed to be o providential
enforcement Of the maxim shat no man shall
take advantage of his own money" and still John
wasn't easy. He tossed about like ship without
a rudder, kicking the pickets of from the rear,
and poking them loose in the front; but during all
this time he chung closer to the hen than brother
Most men would have let her return to her brood
out Of compassion; but John didn't hear the
mournful chirps of the little in the coop; at
least II he did they didn't move him. In fact,
the only thing that was able to move him was o
policeman who had heard the noise, and arriving
on the spot hurriedly severed his connections
with the picket, and asked him If he would like
to go to the station house. He said he wouldn't
but went From there he was moved to the Po-
lice Court, and from the court to jail, and after
thirty days in jail he proposes to go into bank
ruptcy, and from thence to Europe.
PHILIP KELLER
pursues the well beaten track Of woman FOUNDER.
A man who hasn't got the moral courage to with
stand the temptation of striking o woman on any
account to say nothing Of striking her because
she insists on his "leaving her alone when she
haint got time for foolIn'," ought to be sent as
consul resident to the Csnnibal Isles. Philip did
this to Elizabeth Cooper, and from the evidence
It appears that he struck her unressonably hard.
The majority Of ill-tempered men who drink bad
whisky and eat cloves would have given her warn
ing first by q few well-directed oatks, and then
caught up boot and cast It gently into her side,
but Philip, without generalization or cause, came
the elbow movement on her, and then walked
leisurely up to where she had settled in the cor.
ner Of the room, promenaded on her once or twice,
and then he stepped out into the pure air of
heaven without being scratched or even struck
by lightning. Judge Smell drew on him for so
and costs.
MINOR OFFENCES.
Eliza Ann Hilton, larceny Of q gold ring and
quantity Of soap from Thos. Parker, Is and costs
Lewis Cooke stole three gold rings from his
mother, and at her request was sent 10 the Reform
school. Abraham Page, assault and battery on
Patrick Fitzperald, $40. John Day and Andrew
Dorsay, affray,S5 each James Simms, assault
on Oficer Boyle in the discharge Of his duty so.
Louisa Hill ran her fingers through Mary Nail
or's hair and then twisted them. This didn't
meet Marys approval. and she forthwith smote
her o smite on the left cheek with vigor. Then
they embraced IL anger and were separated by
friends As it was tit for tat both were dismissed.
sampel Harris was fined S. for running over a
park. Rtnry Bowen was fined IS for playing leap
frog on park.