The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-11-27
FACTS AND FANnIEs.

/
A philosopher has discovered that
men don't object 10 be overrated. ex-
cept by assessors.
The Typographical Union Is trying
70 Dulld monument TO Horace Greeley,
who didn't like Typographical Unions.
"A lady residing near Davenport.
Iowa, has beautiful green lizard I'm
her stomach, and still is discontented.
The "headless trunk" Of n Young
lady, which was found in a railroad sta
tion out west, proved to be n Saratoga
trunk.
"A San Francisco paper says there
are two hundred Chinese gambling
houses in that city, carrying on bus
mess night and day.
"A young lady fearful of becoming
stout devotes two hours TO every meal,
because she had read somewhere that
haste makes waist"
"A bill has passed the Oregon senate
which provides that husbands and wives
without children may be col sud cred
divorced by simply ceasing to live to-
| gether.
1t is estimated that tho world con-
sumes annually $50, 600, 900 pounds OF
China furnishes almost all the tea, and
Brazil the coffee.
The maddest kind OF woman is one
who spends half hour in arranging
her toilet before descending TO the par
lor on the arrival Of a visitor-who
proves TO be n book agent.
A disgusted old liue-back voter at
Ottumwa, Iowa, put in n ticket which
read For general principles, General
Jackson for congress, don't care a
dam; they all steal, anyhow"
"A fashionable but illiterate New
York lady, travelling on the continent,
writes to friend that she has Just seen
the "museum of iniquities in Genoa,
and she does think IL is perfectly
splendid"
REV. Mr.. Candor, Of Philadelphia,
announces: "Let us continue our wor-
ship by listening 20 n piece Of sheet
music performed by the operate quar-
tette, who have been secured regardless
of expense"
Mr.. Dubois, of Fall river, has had
the blood of live lamb introduced into
his veins, "a n remedy for consumption.
Ii is probable that there will be no un-
usual effect save an abnormal fondness
for all girls named Mary.
-" What" asks one Of the female
suffrage shriekers, "are we 20 do with
our daughters If they are very
young, drown them. If they are too
old to drown, why-but that is an i'm
possibility. y.-C our. Journal
An old gentleman in Stowe, Yer
mont, tells how he broke of drinking
liquor. Every time he took n drink be
would drop n shot into the glass, and
as il filled up his poiations grew grad
ually smaller and finally ceased alto
gether.
You know in the old country, when
anything unfortunate happens 20 the
good people, it is called affection,
which is to be ovcrruled for their spirit
nal good :" but when it happens TO be
the heterodox. it is ga judgment. -
IVdtsOn'S Lecture.
-" Nobody suTpasses me in this
specially" said n Cincinnati girl 10 her
new lover the other night as she gave
him q parting kiss with n report 10 IL
like that of a pistol. The astonished
youth walked away wondering where
that girl got her experience.
." Mamma, where do the COWS get
the milk ?" asked Willie, looking mp
from the feaming pan Of milk which no
had been intently regarding. "Where
do Won get your tears ?" was the an
swer. After n thoughtful silence ho
again broke out, "DO the COWS have TO
be spanked"
If the times are hard stop your
paper, but do not shorten your allow
ance for whisky or tobacco. A good
paper in a family is great comfort 10
the wife and children, but that is no
reason why you should provide them
with weekly luxury at the expense Of
a daily necessity.
In Scotland, on the ordination Of
elders, a grave old elder delivered the
charge Me brethrin, rule weel, rule
weel, but rule sac that nae a man ar
BARN i the kinks will know that they
are ruled. Me brethrin, pray God 10
give We common sense IL is a chief
grace o. an order"
An Aberdeen preacher recently COM
mented in the following complimentary
way upon the conversational value Of
men and women: "There il the same
difference between their tongues as bo-
tween the hour ard minute hand-one
goes ten times as fast and the other sig
nifes ten times as much.
A youth who attended Scotch re-
vival meeting for tho fun OF the thing,
ironically inquired of the minister
whether he could work n miracle or not.
The young mans curiosity was fully
satisfied by the minister kicking him
ont Of the church, with the malediction,
"We can not work miracles, but We
can cast out devils !"
A country exchange gets off the fol-
lowing on delinquent subscribers: Look
ing over au old ledger, we see long
array Of names Of former subscribers
who are indebted co us. Some Of them
have moved away and are lost TO sight,
TO memory dear. Others arc
carrying the contribution boxes IN our
most respectable churches, and others
again have died and are angels IN
heaven, but they owe MS just the same.
-Black-and-tans have gone out OF
fashion, bless 'em Tiny bulldogs,
lust as small as nature will allow, now
accompany French ladies on the prom
anade, and sit on the carriage seat.
The uglier the better, as the morose
expression of their pup features is
great requisite in their selection. Even
the parasols, buttons on ones gar
nent's and trinkets by the score, are
adorned with the bulldogs head and,
1 sure sign Of a lady's visit TO Paris
his summer, is the canine phiz that
makes the knob OF her natty umbrella.
A New Way to Do It.
M. Paraf is,the first discoverer OF