The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-11-18

and national life.
rifn 2 lsAf 4 Uxr AND H1rz.
i had an aunt coming 70 visit me for tllo
first time since my matriage. and don't know
what evil genius prompted tile wickefi,ess
which periletuated towards Nay wise and an
cient relation,
My dear" said TO my wife, on the day
before my aunts arrival, syou know Aunt
Mary is coming tomorrow well, forgot to
mention rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She is very deal. and although,
she can hear my voice, 10 which She Ii accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones, vet you will be
obliged to speak extremely loud IN orderto
heard. 1t might be rather inconvenient. but
| know you win do everything in your power
to make herstay agreeable.
Mis- announced her determination to
make herself heard, if in her power
l then went to John NJ who loves q
joke about as we'll Us any person / know Of
and told him to be at the house at 6 r M.,thc
following evening, and felt comparatively
happy.
went to the railroad depot with carriage
next night, and when was IN my way home
with my aunt, said =
"My dear aunt, there Is one rather annoy
ing inirmity that Annie, (my wife, has,w Which
forgot to mention before. She Is very deaf,
and although she can hear my vpice, to which
she is accustomed, in it's ordinary tunes yet
You win be Obliged to speak extremely loud in
order to be heard am very sorry for it,
Aunt Mary, IN the goodness Of her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud,
and to do SO would AFFORD her great piyasilre
The carriage dove upon the steps was
my wife.--in the window was John NJ
with face as utterly solemn as IL he had
buried his last relative that afternoon.
II am delighted to see ynu.r shrieked my
Nife-and the policeman on the opposite side
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
The steps.
Kiss me, my dear !" hawlodmy aunt, and
the windows shook as with the fever and
] lgue | looked at the wsnhow-John had
disappeared. Human nature could stand it
no longer. peked my head into the CART
age and Went into strong commissions.
When entered the parlor, my wife Was
X
nd there sat John with his face buried III lis
handkerchief.
"Dd you have a PLEASANT journey went
ii my wife like a pistol, and John nearly
umped to his feet.
"Rather dusty was the response, in
yar-whoop and the conversation continued.
The ncghbprs for blocks around must have
heard it whenI was in the third story tho
,liding | heard every word.
In the course Of the evening my aunt took
occasion to say to me
"lIow loud Your wife talks"
! told her deaf pesns talked loudly, and
| ny wife being used to II, was not ailectcd by
he excrton,l and that she was getting along
,icely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly
g All, how very load your aunt talks
'sYes, z said {, sall deaf persons do. You
are getting al5ng nicely she hears every
word you say" And rather think she did.
Elated at their success at being understood,
they went at it hammer and tynss, till every
hing upon the mantlepiecc clattercd again,
nd was seriously afraid Of 4 crowd collect
ing in front Of the house.
But the end was near. My aunt being of
IN investigating turn Of mind, was serious Of
nding out whether the exertion Of talking
was injurious to my wife.
:. Doesn't talking so loud strain your
iungs?" said she, in an uneartl1y whoop for
ner voice was not so musical as it was when
she was young.
at is an exertion, slriclxed my wife,
ssThen why do you.do it p" was the ans
weiing scream.
& 3eeause--beca,lse--y can't hear IL
| don't, " squealed my wife.
"What +" said my aunt, fairly rivaling
railroad whistle..
] began to tlisk it time to vacate the pre-
misses and looking around and seeing John
gone, stepped into the back parlor. and there
/ he lay, fiat on his back, with his feet al right
angles with his body. rolling from side to
side, with his fists roked into his ribs and
most agonized expression oi countcnslnce, but
not utteriug a sound. .
/ j Immediately and involunialily assumed
similar attitude, and think from The relative
position of feet and heads, and our attempts
to restrain our laughter, ap,plexv must incvi-
tably have ensured, if'a horrible groan which
John gave vent to in his entleavor to suppress
his visibility, had not betrayed our hiding
place.
In rushed my wife and aunt, who BY this
time comprehended the joke, and such scold-
ing as then got, never had before, and
hope never to get again.
4 $50 s---->---
4 LITTLE GREAT MEN.--It is a remarkable
thing that some Of the great, st men in history
have been Of small stature. Certainly, from