The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-02-21
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

dence in its Righteousness"
A Chicago poet having heard that Madam
Nilsson had thoughtfully built acowshed on he
land at PEORIA and mindful of the catastroph
which led to the destruction Of his native cit.
thus burst into the wild and beautiful frenzy {
verse:
Christine, Christine, thy milking do, the NOR
and eve between, g g.,
And not by the dim, irrclgous light of the fitfu
kerosene.
For the COW NAV plunge and the lamp explode
and the fire end ride the gale
And shrek the knell of the burning town in tn
glow of the molten pale!"
The Odcn Weekly felicitates itself on the fac
that while Congress is in session, people Twin!
away IRONY Washington can with comparative safe
" leave whole washes on their clothes lines owe
night.
The Chambers House at Peru is reopencd Will
a new set of proprietors, and the Herald compl
ments them by remarking on the wide
contrast between these and the other bloats and
deadboats that have occupied the house"
The residence of the late William Shakespeare,
at Stratford on Avon was recently sold to New
Zealander for 10000 pounds. The Louisville
Journal says the lnconsiderate savage might have
saved nine.tcnths Of his money If he had gone
over in time to make the trade with Shakespeare
himself
A man in Fayctte county, Penn. read in an
almanac that his feet could be kept warm by
lining his boots with Cayenne pepper. lie don't
feel much like walking, now, but he says he
would like to find the man what put that in the
almanac"
A merry wife of Jencrsonyille, Mo-, formed a
lay figure by stufling suit Of her husbands
clothes and proppcd 1t at portico door, so as 10
give the appearance Of burglar ciFectinS an en-
trance The good man, coming home late, dis
covered the figure and, to prove to burglarious
world that he did not care fig for the life OF Il
cracksman he fired six shots into the eflgy and
then waded into the bunch of rags with knife. |
The oldest newspaper in the worlds The Pekin
Gazette. 1t is printed on a large sheet of yellow
silk, Just as it was q thousand years ago. Miss
Susan B. Anthony is the only one of the original
subscribers who still survives. The gentleman
who founded the paper, or tho silk, rather, died
we believe, some years ago-whether with the
cholera morbus or at the hands of an outraged
contemporary, we do not now remember
Courier y nat
a Philadelphia man advertiscs soap that is
destined to wipe out the national debt" about
,ye.
Mono poets" is the new name for persons who
write but one bit of verse and then die. Would
there were more OF them!
The entrance to the new San Francisco hotel
IS said to be so very wide that the man must be
mighty drunk, indeed, who can't start from the
opposite side Of the street and hit at least seven
times out of ten.
A generous accumulation Of ignorance" is the |
mild way in which Rochester paper character.
ICES the author of Il recent article in cotcm-
porary.
To make man turn blue. Use no pigments
or dangerous skin applications of any kind. Sc |
ect married man, and tell him his wiic's mother |
Is coming to stay month with him.
The editor of the Freeport Journdi claims to |
have seen, two weeks ago, live snake crawling |
apon the snow. 1t depends little upon the |
Kind Of whisky one uses. A few glasses of Peo.
ria whisky will enable man TO see snakes almost
anywhere.
4 cotemporary pufs local grocer rs Zone of
The old warehouses Of the trade We suppose
that means that he is heavy charger
legislature" is reported in the Louisville Cone
o'erc'di as having candidly acknowledged the
corn" Reappearing, after an absence from his
seat of three days. he said he had been sick q"
What's been the matter with youY he was ,
asked. well, some folks call it nervous chills;
others pronounce it kind of affection Of the ,
heart; but, to be candid, call It plain case of
Old-fashioned drunk L
The practice Of receiving New Years calls was
naugurated, a lady writes 10 US, by Gen. and Mrs.
Washington, while he was President az the
United Statcs.-Er
II the editor of the Ottawa RepuJiicda had been
a. Washington at the time he would have put a
stop 10 thc dcmoralizing practice ut once.
John Hay, the author Of Little Brccchcs" &c.
IS married. In consequence the next edition of
Little Brooches" will not bc issued until wear
or thcrcabouts
Two epitaphs-the first in Harrow, and the
other in Burrow churchyard, Engand-urc of
interest The first is fairly pcctical:
There Is time when these green leaves shall fall
And Isaac Grecnleaf rise above them ALL"
The point of the second is not lnircqucntly |
made in this department Of verse;
"Jerusalcms curse is not fulfilled in me,
For here's a stone upon Stone you see
The st. Adams (Vt.) Satiyfst gives the following
invitation and pleasant promises
Search this paper from beginning to end, you
will find nothing profane nor vulgar nor nothing
about politics, railroads and religion. We defy
any one to find fault with it; fthey do, they will
get h in the next"
Closed in consequence of Il debt in the
family" is the announcement ON the door of |
fugitive tradesman in neighboring city.
New Yorker has invented 4 "blush pro-
ducer," and we are. told that "any belle wearing
u in her lat can, by touching a spring produce
blush al pleasure" We should think that with
many Of the bellies up that way the best blush
producer would be, or ought TO be- the conun-
Irum; How did your father make that large
Young fortune Of his |'-CogrieJ-Iourudl
The Rev. CHARLES $. Thompson, of Chicago,
Iatcly received a call TO Louisville, Ky, with