, 1874-09-06
LOCAL POLITICS.
The Race for the Office OF
Sheriff.
Prominent Candidates, and Their
Little Peculiarities.
Visiting the Sa|oon-Keepers.

Visiting the Saloon-Keepers.
There is great shuttle. scramble, and what
Punch would call Inn ugly rush T" for the Office
OF Sheriff OF Cook County this fall The canui-
date market Is abnndantly supplied with good,
fat stock-men capable Of serving their country
without loss OF sleep or appetite. Nearly every
other man whose name has ever appeared in q
newspaoor, In any light whatever, is being
pushed by his friends for tho poait1on. Tho
initiated public know by this time what being
sspushod I" by ones friends amounts to. No
body over yet took tho trouble to push any other
body for Office without some ax-Erinding mo-
tive. There may DO "hoaor among thieves,
but there is very little veracty and still 1esn ain-
cerity, among average politicians. Only one
class OF men profit by candidates OF the "ono-
horse order,
THE sALooN-KEErEns.
The latter. when not in the field themselves
affect mysterious air calculated to mako tho
unwnry believe that in their hands lo fate aud
fortune. Woo 70 tho Candidate who Sights this
fraternity The unfortunate man seeking Office
ought, first OF alf to provide blnseI with cast
iron stomach, which would defy the corrosive
effects Of forty-Eod" and ''rot-gut,' with swill
beer and sour alo thrown in. lie must be pre-
pared to mike 4 tour Of al the saloons,-froln
South Clark streets to tho miserable "doggery"
ehanty on North Water elrcet. He must make
the saloon-kespers bis friends" To be suro,
when candidate for Sheriff, he has tho dim hope
OF having to hang some Of thom after he is elect
ed, and, considering what human nature is, aud
what political human nature has to swallow aud
endure, this is no Bman satisfaction. It would
be interesting to know how much liquid poison
the prospective Sheriff of Cook County has swal-
lowed during his canvass. The best Of the whole
business is
THE ARnASr Hfrocn1sy
Of M concerned. i" I'll look for your support"
says candidate No. to au acquaintance you
know Tn mp for Sheriff - The friend may
answer, " We'll have promised TO support Mr.
win aay, - All right, It's pity shat nearly all
his friends arc mine too. Fory embarrassing.
Let's go and drink. Como into Jim's." They
go into - Jim's and have their dr1nk-yoWs OF
eternal niendship being exchanged When Nc
say What fool that fellow is-Eoing to sup
port No. z, who don't know from c bulls foot.
4 purity kind Of Sheriff he'd make. Why, hc
don't know enough to tie tho hangnan's hnot.
A blessed REUNION.
/ Sometimes dozen candidates meet together
and interchange compliments. They make
regular tour. Frequently they rendezvous ut
''5in's," but as they cannot afford to slight
mike, they drop into his monagerio one bJ
ono, discoursing affairs OF state with all tho
gravity Of Judges Of the Supreme Court. aud
with tho grammatical accuracy and finished
rhetoric OF coal-hoayers. From Mikes they
proceed to "Jim's," aud then. having slaked
their thirst at this fountain OF knowledge and
Monroe street blush, where they again sosk
their flights and livers :" in liquid hell. From
thence they go to the 'sHouso of Bazes,' - where
there aro !" some fellows that can influence dele
With jealous eyes. Often they go alone, at
tended by staff Of '' friends" on whom the
noble Office of "pushing" de7olres, and then
they visit every slu,n that they can think Of,
where d vote can be purchased or promise
broken.
This ia the endless round, accompanied by
backbiting that would make old ladies' feel
ashamed OF their inferiorty. The weak points
Of candidates nrofreely discussed ono tl1ng
being conceded by nearly all, that education Is
onerous or respectable. "Have yon heard the
nows?' cries Funk to his crony, "Tom is up
for Sheriff." sHo for Sheriff Why, sure ho
has no money to spend on an election: He
life" This II a cinchery and it is generally ad"
tnitted that tho fato Of "Tom ia scaled
There are Thousand and one other vayB in
which candidates and their "frienas' ~ bac1bte
other candidates and their " friends" Every
ness t 81 Secrets eondded in days Of friendship arc
ruthlessly betrayed, and littlo fayors conferred
arc diligently paraded before the public eeye.
Who would not be candidate for ottico Ii Chi
cago? It ia truly glorious to be human tar.
got,-the butt Of every rascals filthy aim, and
the victim of every scalawag's and sharper's
wilea Life Is too short to earn Office at such
price. --...
Now for tho heroic persons WHO have exposed
ipg - People arc prominent among the candi-
dnteg for IiIu BT2d}cYS ea5Y-chaiT:
PRANK AoSEw.
First comes Frank Agnew. Who Is Frank
We'll, he is pretty respectable kind Of citizen,
almost to good to be a candidate for Office he
Is in the primo Of life.-suspended, 10 to speak.
between 80 and 40. His appearance is in his
favor. He has d fine, open, manly countenance,
an agreeable manner, and carries an ar OF
honesty in the face above his broad shoulders,
which well becomes it. Frank is one Of tho
oldest of Chicago's boys" He used to be :.
vehement fireman, aud !" rau with his engine"
in old volunteer timee, at q speed that might be
l1keued to that Of Goldsmith Maid But now
Frank has grown etout-bt1ngs down the scale
to the tune Of 200 and his wind is nearly gone,
but his spirit still lives. He is great farorito
with the Fire Department, having been Tor
years connected with their Benevolent Associ-
profession, Frank is master builder, and in that
line has won favorable reputation among al
classes Of citizens. He Was born in Scotland
but his parents wore Irish, and in Frank the
shamrock blooms verdantly through tue Thistle
down. He is very liberal, and has friends
among men Of every nationality. This glTes
him great strength, and, together With bis nat
urnl ability and shrewdneea, makes him the first
favorite for the much-sought Office Of
Sheriff. Mr. Agnow is outspoken in his policy.
He does not affect being. ''puahed by anybody;
Ho started himself, and has baen 80 far we'll
supported, and feels confident OF making O
!" home-run" several lengths ahead Of al! COM
petitors Should he succeed in being elected:
be has consented to appoint all unsuccessful
candidates Deputy -SherifIs or BailiIs ut 1000
q wear. There could hardly be more generous
arrangement, except that Alr. Agnen ought
first to provide schoolmsster for about half Of
them.
COL. CLEA1Y.
Tho mex. man on the List is Col. Patrick II.
Cleary, who graduated in Tippera1!, and has
done honor TO his alma n.ater,-in the way OF
being successful as money manufacturer: Iho
Colonel is 3 well-presersed gentleman Of half q