Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1874-05-06
Miscellany.
A Very Fair Practical Joke.

Ben Hurd, my hero, arrived at the dis
tnction of being a hero by constitution.
al mania for cvading the laws that the
Legislature of behaved, exemplary
Massachusetts has decred that her citizens
shall obey. Not that he has ever COM
mitted a great crime he lacks the cour.
age for that, even had he the disposition !;
but he delights in any little, under-hand-
ed, petty affair. He believes, evidently,
that laws were made for his especial all
noyancc, and that his chief aim and object
in life is to break them. He writes Oh
margins of newspapers which he sends
through the mails; uses secondhand pos
tage stamps, ana | would not be surprised
to learn, some day, that he had been ex
perimenting upon Uuce SANS curren-
cy. Strangely enough, he belongs to a
good, old family, descended from the Pu-
ritans, in the best society, has a ''poart' y
little wife, as they say down South, is reg
ularly at church. and enjoys trying to hood.
wink himself, as well as his nclghbors, ln-
to the belief that he Is a very. exemplary
person. He is the fortunate owner Of u
snug farm in fertile Berkshire valley +;
but as there is nothing IN particular about
farming upon which he can exercise his
peculiar talent, he has distiliery where
he manufactures brandy, which he runs
over the line, or sells oa the sly to vari-
ous thirsty parties, finding his enjoyment
in successfully evading the vigilance of
the state constable, although there is re
port, that since said state constable re-
ceived the present Of ten-gallon keg Of
the aforesaid brandy, his official watchful-
ness has perceptibly abated.
was agent at the little State Limo sta
tion, and was often intensely amused in
the early morning, when / was waiting for
the first train, TO see Hurd come up the
glen witq kcg Of the contrabaud article
in his farm wagon, which he watched his
opportunity to SHE on to the platform,
head and directions down, then he would
scoot around the corners, and when he
could get chance whisper the destna-
ton of the " vinegar" as he called 1t to
me with sly wink, and mounting his ve-
hiole whip his old white nag into pace
that always made me wonder if he was
not coaxing himself into belief that the
officers were after him. All of this pre-
caution, Notwithstanding the depot was
over the line and there was nothing to
fear but he had such an exquisit relish
for the surreptitious part of the proceed.
ing that always humored him by making
great mystery of it.
Hc raised tobacco on his place and af.
ter while learned to make eigars-very
good ones they were, too--best CoDuecti'
cut seed leaf. and man Of ordinary vital
power could draw one OF them withnui
bursting his paper collar or becoming SC
very black in the face. Now there was
more fraudulent business In making sale
for them without paying the internal rev.
enuo, They were sold almost exclusively
in the village. He always brought them
in covered willow market basket, and
when he brought them he always crossed
the river in u skiff, which he left iu lit
tie cove at the mouth of the brook, then
creeping stealthily up narrow foot-path
in the shade Of the bank until he reached
the pgine.house, where he would remain
while peering out q crack In tho door
until he was sure the coast was clear,
when he would would walk, in an limo.
cent, matter-of-!act waj, through the yard,
swinging his basket as ii it were empty
aud, entering the passenger depot, set it,
as if for safe keeping behind the counter
Of the restaurant. Dumpy, the clerk
would take out the cigars, place them III
stamnen boxes mt the nav for them in