Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-05-14
PUUNNYGRAMS.

to the court before sentence is passed up
on your" Prisoner" No, Judge, | had
ten dollars, but my lawyers took that"
"A young lady whose heart bounded
! within her at the statement that certain
/ young man looked intensely" felt it
/ iall when the narrator, finishing the SEN
'ence, MADE 1t intensely English"
! "A gentleman visiting an freshman
| observed monster pig strutting about
! the house, and asked how they got such
/ brute up those two stairs.' MAY il plase
| yer honor" said Paddy, at was never
down to be TUX up"
Mrs. Peter Piper's baby was making
tremendous noise, and friend asked
/ Peter why 1t was so cross. at has n
stormy mother" said Peter with sigh;
you needn't wonder if it's little
squally."
The hotel keepers Mt Niagara are dis
! cussing plan to stop tourists five miles
/ from the falls and stuff their ears with
cotton to prevent them hearing the roar
without first paying Il fee of three dol
lars.
-" You cannot taste in the dark" said
lecturer "Nature has intended us to
see our food" "Then," inquired a for
ward pupil, chow about blind man at
dinner" mature, sir,n answered the
Professor, "has provided him with eye
teeth"
A little four-year-old girl went run
ming into the house the other day, ex-
claiming, Mamma, mamma, I've seen
Jack Frost I've seen Jack Frostr
Where did you see him, my darlingy"
queried the mother. "Oh, ! saw the tip
nt tai1 han >, Gt
had seen an icicle
This is what the Louisville Courier
journal is responsible for: An exchange
tells us that MIR. Palmer, of Saratoga
County, N, Y, swallowed four false teeth
the other day, and seven or eight wise
doctors are gradually killing him in the
effort to get them up" Why don't they
tie rope round some small-sized den
ust and let him down there with grab
hookY
We observe tendency among news
paper writers to indulge in redundant ex-
pressions. For instance, the Louisville
COarierJ0 tTna& says: 1.-TWO physicians
are in attendance, and it is thought he
cannot recover 1t would have been
sufficient in this case to have said simply:
Two physicians are in attendance."--
Neo I0rk Mail
"A lady in the country was unwise
enough 10 tit out her boy of five with fish
ing tackle. Soon she heard Il shout from
the barn,yard, and found one OF her very
best hens had swallowed The hook and
was fast winding up the line in her crop.
or course she was greatly troubled, but
all the comfort she got from the young
fisherman was this: Don't worry,
mother, ! guess she'll stop when she gets
to the pole"
"A young Boston mecl anic saw an
overcoat in Il secondhand clothing store,
which he thought he would be glad to
possess at n reasonable price. How
much ?" he asked. "rwenty one dollars"
was the answer The usual haggling
took place, and the mechanic started to
leave the store, :" How much you gifY"
asks the merchant. "Three dollars"
"Take it, then. | shall shust be ruin of
myself. | only make two dollars on dat
coat, 10 help me gracious"
A day or two ago Jones was injudi-
ciously full" Being painfully aware of
his inebriety, he endeavorcd TO conceal it
from the public by buttoning his coat up
very closely, imparting an abnormal stiff
ness to his knees, and tripping over his
own heels He stalked up to street car,
walked briskly in just as the horse started
corward-and instantly tumbed out again
backward without unbending a muscle.
Suaightway he recovered the upright,
splashed with mud, and re-entered, seat
ing himself beside an acquaintance, max
ing no sign of his mishap. Presently he
turned TO this individual and quericd
Klizshun" mo" He considered
moment and then again asked; "Oflthe-
trackg" "No." More eiiection-sleepi
ly then: "RunoveraprespiceY" No"
"SplozhnY" "No" Somnolent cogita-
ton. "Any acc'ndt?" "Not all all"
He took this piece Of information into
his intellectual nav, and, digestng it,
concluded that he must be very drunk in
deed. Anxious to cover up the disgraccfnl
fact and turn the matter off respectfully,
be shortly turned again with the bland
observation: Well, If I'd anone that,
| wooden got out"