The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1874-01-07
GRAVE AND GAY.
A WRITER wishes to know why people
always spell finis without the b.
The LATEST sentimental grangerism:

The LATEST sentimental. grangerlsm:
Oh, hump yourself my lovely Poll,
And in the cause of Anti-mOnOp,
We'll mulch the turkeys in the fall,
And graft the long clam on the hop.
INDIANA was rather disappointed in
Lucca when they saw her pick up a
piece of custard-pie in her hand and
bite away like an old soldier.
A YOUNG lady in Indiana was rescued
from drowning the other day, and she
sent the young man four quarts of but
ternuts as a token of appreciation.
ABUFFA1o compositor made the critic
say that Carlotte Cushman was a
"bloated actress, instead of "beau-
tifuI lone, and the supply of free
tickets didn't come around that day.
OUR valetudinariaD being told by his
medical adviser that he must wear
thicker boots, replies that when fell
low has to walk through so much wa
ter, pumps would be more appropriate.
81 AM weary with life-bury me deep
on the hillside" wrote young man in
Dubuque, but they pumped him out,
and that same night he went to the cir
Gus and laughed till he cried at the an
tics of the trick mules.
RETRBUT1ON.-
Guilt is the source of sorrow; tits the fend-
The avenging fend-that follows us behind
with whips and stngs the blest know none Of this,
But rest in everlasting peace of mind,
And find the hight of all their heaven is goodness
A New ORLEANS paper says: "Some
Cinnamon last winter rented one hun
1red and sixty acres Of land n short dis
tance from the city, and now they are
gathering splendid rice crop. They
used syphon to flood their fields from
the river"
A conoRED preacher, in translating to
his hearers the sentence, "The harvest
is over, the season is ended, and the
soul is not saved" put it. "De corn
has been cribbed, dare amt any more
work. and de debbil is still foolin' wild
his community"
THE New York Times is getting
round-shouldered in it's efforts to keep
the American eagle from Hopping.
How doth the mighty eagle squirm,
And squeal and squirm again,
And look, the while, to Spanish eyes,
No bigger that wren
THERE will be much suffering for
bread during the coming winter among
the small Creole farmers of Terrebonne
parish, La. Within the memory OF the
Oldest planters there never was a season
in which the rain set in SO early and con-
tinued SO persistently as during the past
season; very few intervals for labor
were allowed.
WE cannot be too careful how we
play with the English language. One
day last week a young lady of New
Guinea, while gazing at and admiring
the falls of the Owasco river at the
point known as the Big Dam, remarked
to her companion enthusiastically,
"Isn't that dam nice"
A JUVENILE was making q good deal
of noise the other day because pat
ent chimney cap was being placed
on q chimney to his fathers house,
when he was asked what he was crying
about. "Why," he inquired, sobbingly,
chow can old Santa CLAUS bring me
my presents if you go and stop up all
the chimneys?"
JNKs had been indulging too freely
in ardent spirits. At street corner
his hat dropped into the gutter. Says
Jinks: "I know-if I pick you up I'll
fall-if I fall you won't p-hick-me-
hick-up-good night p And he walked
off with a snf1e of satisfaction, describ-
ing innumerable zig.zags as he went,
leaving his hat in the gutter.
THE ODoR OF ToBAooo.-That tobac-
co is absorbed in the tissues OF the
body has long been ascertained by some,
though as positively denied by others.
In support of the affirmative, fact in
connection with the hydropathic process
known as the wet-sheet pack is cited.
In this process the patient is enveloped
in a wet-sheet, and then over this in
blankets. By this means, it is claimed
that, through the operation of the prin-
ciples of endosmose and exomose, the
water of the sheet is made to enter the
body. while at the same time impurities
are Withdrawn therefrom. Now, on an
habitual user of tobacco being sub
iected for an hour to this process, it is
found, on his developments being taken
off. that the odor of tobacco coming
from his body, and from the sheet in
which he has lain, is perceptible to
every one present.
TAKING "SUNsET' DowN.-The Wash
ington Star tells the following story of
Hon. s. s. Cox, the ''irrepressible"
CONGRESSMAN from New York city: On
Monday last, Cox was more than usual
ly active, spurty and irrepressible in
the house. He was continually at the
front, "catching on the fly, " and rampag
ing round generally. Finally, when
the house came to an agreement to pro-
ceed with the debate on the salary bill
in twenty-minute speeches, Cox des-
patches page with the following note
Dear df-. Spenker-Put me down for
twenty minutes. s. s. g.
To which the speaker replied:
Dear Cor-I would be delighted if I
could keep you down half that time.
J. G. B.
READING ExTEMPoRE.-Mark Twain
created no small amusement at dinner
to which he was invited lately. In the
course of the proceedings, his health
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