The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1874-09-18
VOLUME ".

signs were exchanged, and the card Of
Colonel Adolphus Jones, of the c. s
A., proved a ready passport to the
recherche society around the eOnvivial
board
Champagne, boned turkey, chicken
salad and oysters on the half shell, ac-
companied such numerous unnamable
marvels Of French culinary art of every
imaginable description, all cooked by a
man, as led Colonel Jones to men,
tally declare that men, being the great
est epicures and the best experts at cook
cry, were originally designed by the
Creator to do all the cooking of the
world.
After the wine had flowed until every
body present was in the best of Spirits"
speech-making was, of course, in order.
Such toasts as "Our Country" "Our
Club" "The President" "The EUery
Morning Gazette, 'etc., etc, had brought
forth humorous and windy orations,
more or less appropriate, according to
the depth and number of the speakers
pOtations and his physical power to re-
sist their effect, and at last Colonel
Jones arose and begged opportunity TO
offer toast and make a speech upon it
for himself.
A unanimous affirmative response
was followed by a universal filling Of
goblets, and amid the popping of corks
and overflow Of wine. The Colonel held
his foaming glass alOft and proposed /:
''The Women of America; may we make
them equal to the negro under the laws
Of our country"
\ general hiss of disapprobation ran
around the table, which the speaker did
not appear to notice.
Stepping behind the chair, and still
holding aloft the foaming goblet, he ex-
claimed, "Will you not drink with me,
gentlemen ?'
Two or three signified assent, but the
vastcompany, with these few exceptions,
vociferously proclaimed their disappro-
baton.
Gentlemen" said Colonel Jones,
81 see that have been guilty of intrud-
ing a very unpopular theme upon you
tonight. very much regret this.
[Cheers.l Understand me, gentlemen.
1 very much regret that the theme is
unpopular, and not that have intruded
it upon you. The women Of America,
gentlemen, are an institution which you
can't get rid Of or do without. They are
your joy in health, your solaee in sick
ness, your partners in happiness and
your companions in misery. They di
vide your sorrows, they double your
joys, they populate your country, they
obey your laws, they help pay your
taxes, they occupy prisons and aims
houses, and they expiate crimes. In
short, they bear, equally with your
selves, the burdens of government; they
endure far more than you of the natural
disabilities of life; they have intellects
equal, and intuitions superior to yours;
they are children Of the same common
Father, and last, but by no means least,
they are your mothers. Yet you with
hold from them the exercise of inalien-
able rights which you would die at the
cannOn's mouth rather than do without
yourselves, and for which they are per-
sistently beseeching you; rights which
you have granted unconditionally to the
colored man without the asking"
'I am surprised" said Robert Green
Esq, "that such a toast should hav,
been offered here tonight. Our only
hope for the perfection and perpetuity
Of the race lies in the keeping of woman
pure. She must be kept free from tn,
contaminations of political life in orde
to keep her virtuous."
"Are all women pure and virtuOus p
"Our wives and mothers are" salt
Mr.. Hastings, looking wise.
"And yet they associate in the mos
, intimate possible relations with us, an,
lCe are not UestalS."
To turn the conversation, a respons
to the toast was called for from Henr,
E Lee, Esq.
That gentleman arose from his chair
at the head OF the long center table, AM
D said: "GeRtlcmen: In the words of on
of the worthy friends who spoke a mo
ment or two ago, l must say that an
q surprised that such a toast has beel
II offered tonight in this august assembly
}, This confounded Woman Question ha
: grown to be an intolerable bore. Hal
It Of the letters I get for publication ar
/ from crack-brained men and silly won
= en-, who know Just about rs muc
: about politics as a pig knows Of tn
= planetary system, and who are as full
the abstract idea that women must hay
& equal rights before the law as this gol
II let that / hold is full of the froth tn,
IS slops its sides. Our toasts, resolution
and speeches are to appear to-morro
+ morning in the Gazette. If the fact th:
we have been discussing this unpOpul'
n theme should get to the ears ofthe cha
IS latan of the BugIe, he'd use it again
+ Ms in the next election. My plan HI
been and will be, in dealing with tn
y vexed question, to ignore it altogethe
The fact is, women are protected l
I men. They are untitled from their vel
le constitutionality to endure the hardship
l. ofpolitical and pecuniary responsibility
Z" l yield to no one in my admiration
ut woman. That is, mean, those womC
lie who are content to be elinging vine
er and are willing to lean for support al