The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-11-17
Stpsr and ,Mprse,1se,
Always a safe bet-The alphabet.

uieT IL ue - IN E4uarleEa.
A depraved punster says be shall
smoke If he chews too. q l''"'' ~
When is raisin like a tintedIengrsv-
ing1 When it's Isl toned:i ''f0o2
The most disagreesble OF all short
stops-Railway collisions. lstt
"Lazy folks take the most pains"
Mistake-glaziers take the most.
Third Term lunatics" is what the
Struggled (Ill.) Journal calls 'em.
How can boy be said to "catch q
lickingv whenthe sold man" brings it
to him?
What is it that goes up the hill and
down the hill, and yet never moves p
The road. ,a i Gt.gsaFT
Why is the root Of the tongue like a
detected man3 Because it's down in
the, mouth. 4.,-t ','1 3i'i
What comes once in q minute, twice
in a moment. and once in mans life Z
The letter NJ. .yag r..=,s..z,t r,a
+ A queer man-The baker who .kneads
much, and yet sells everything he
kneads himself ass ..ssl,aaa4 te,sj.
. "a base burner'-The man who sits
down on his lighted cigar stub.9 5aa
How did the bull look on emerging
from the. China shopY-A little athe
worse for the ware 9r. ,#'so9 bGF
politics, politics everywhere" said a
candidate, the other evening. "Yes," /"
continded, thirsty constituent, "and
not a drop to drink" 20. aaa
What is the difference between the
man who Hays the young OK and the
helmsman of a vessel :? One barks his
steer and the other steers his bark.
Many hard words often pass between
the chin and nose, and yet they never
quarrel, Perhaps because, the chin
thinks it all blow on the part OF the
nose. .af...s .,l.l- t.,,.,. ,,.;. -...--. -
The colored gentleman whom sKir-
ginia sportsman mistookl for a pigeon
in chincopin bush the other day. says
he 'don't want to be made game no mo-
dat fashun."" 10, .agr ..r.!
A ferrynnanswh was asked by q tim.
id lady whether any persons were ever
lost inethe'river over which he rowed.
"Oll, no." said be. 1--WE always find
'em agin the next day." y'sr. tsa
allow we'll he pays for one SO
y ouhg p said Mrs. Partington, as the
organ Toy performed with a monkey
near tile door; s.and how much his little
brother looks like him, to be sure"
Sometimes the Philadelphia Ledger
uses one verse for two obituaries on
the same day, and the bereaved relatives
shrek For revenge and the outraged
corpse gets up and howls. bic a5 q
Now that there is lull in the big
scandal at Brooklyn, the rabid dogs of
the place are beginning 10 attract atten-
ton. Three more children were mang-
led by them day or two since. $50
A party of adventurous Michigan.
ders crossed Lake Huron, recently, in
an open boat. A Milwaukee man, seat
ed in the bow, with both ears erected,
furnished all the sail necessary. "-'''
A Cincinnati man was recently styled
.'Herrn" by an Amsterdam correspon-
dent; The Cincinnati man Immediately
wrote back that he was no herrin', that
he lived in Ohio and was sucker, thor.
oughbred.
When a person is asked to explain
his joke there is no trouble directly
If the person knows his business he
plants his clenched hand between the
inquirer's eyes and puts the question.
"Do you see the point Of it now r
In Tennessee the average length of q
political speech is three hours and a
aalf. 1t gets exciting for the audience
after the second hour, when young
man of active habits gees around with
a fail and wakes 'em up. 5 U.s..
The typographical 6end has at las,
come to- grief. A printer in the Lynch
burg Republican Office had his hand
disabled the other day by the bite of 8
coon. He had spelled the animals s
name with k. And now he bitterly
repents it. sea5 .Eia -
A New York paper contains the fol.
lowing: "Fitty dollars reward! If the
individual who entered my house and
stole wallet containing $3.50, will al
low me to interview him five minutes
the above reward will be paid to bis
heirs or assignees. OWEN G. BoYDEN
"A party Of young men were out sere
mailing few nights since in George
town. They sat on the pavement, which
had been recently covered with a tar so
luton. Next morning the rear Of si1
pairs Of pants dotted the walk, and mu
sic is heard no more around there.
Parents who send children to schoo
should remember that too much study
ing often ends in the last five letters O
the word. ~ ro.
1t doesn't look well, to say the leas
for Kansas church member to have tt
draw out his revolver in order to get a
bis two cents for the contribution box
The wind took off the hat of poor
unhappy old lady, the other night, bu
she said cheerfully, 'wiping the mut
from it with the ragged end of ragged
shawl, cat last have found my fal
bonnet" -H @ ,
We never stand by when a woman
enters hardware store, shuts her teetl
together, and inquiries the price o
"them ere iron-handled rolling pins,
without feeling there is rest beyond th'
grave for her husband.
When ladies wish to see If their hal
is in good order and their bonnets OF
straight, they quietly walk into an auc
ton room aud pretend to be examining
hat rack or a bureau, and thus get 8
sly glance into the mirror.
Twenty.one girls of Kenosha, Wis
have Resolved, that if the young mer
won't come and see US, we will 60 ant
see them" And the young men al,
stepping down and out, aud taking Il
the woods. aasts E5-'
An Illinois girl drugged her father
and mother the other night when sht
expected her lover, who is deaf and
talks in loud voice. and it was forty
eight hours before the doctor cou d
bring the old folks ont Of il.