, 1874-10-04
EUG!1:..

kUE!oa.
! Z Goarl Of E<!rc2tioa-.A forrulo.
I Now tho Sultau ct Turkey wishes ho wore
I de2a." DR.. Mary Walker il there.
! -A tobacc.n with cJluiue ..dAblo fsanancss,
alrertises: II shall fontinuc to Keep On hana
imported cigars Of my au manufacture"
! Tho Kansas City Jbu''5ul sieaiis Ut the Al
dera1eu Of that town Is ''gentle1ueu with red
Was William Pcnn'e pocket handkerchief the
oriy4n1 pen-wiHcr? Who uose:
| An luui2ua man who worked three days IN a
/ ha7vc+1-tield and received therefor :: litter of
| 1;u1s, has como to the conclusion tLat it is not
! 1rore currcocy we nccd, but 4 better cur1 eacy.
/ --' What Is hus|hcal }uta Z" asks Kentucky
| paper. Twisting 3 mules tail aud getting AVA.
! from his heels without bci., Kicked comes near
enough to answer tho Question:
I -!u Troy, they th1o" reu-ls. pennies to cr-
| Ga1i-.rudcrs. This actio,, kait5 two LIrJa witt.
Oils, cent. 1t 1cc":us charitable ac:io: in tho
eyes Of the world, and d=%p!as tho haud-orsan
man.
When Maryland doctor spells it ..accufot-
i tuS, Ii it ANY wuuduf that j patient dies ou his
! hands:
| When John Mo-r,sscy cclors his mustacho
in Saratoga, they call il the dycln; gladiator
~ you.,s |eraoate- ofrcd h:s hand to q
! nice litt.o 4a.rylnaid, esyiuo: ''lf Sou dou't
| choose it, clfe5s it," Slo ci:ose it..
| In tue i'ote CoCrt d. San Joso, C.!., the
| other day, witness was ASKED: pld yol Ger
kill nian?" ''.o; ba: l killed i Ckinamau
once"
| lilo n:tlo boy speai:a asa;l,--tl4is timo
| correcting uis 1au.Ler. So slid l,o was Ill
! over G1rt = and Ao said G4rt was 4'all over
| lin.."
A COW died III Springfield, o.. from eating
too nany apples. walcn sa'c!,se to solue trouol9
| IL cles.
| There was something lovely sbo,! them,
| even death. It was Oil i hansas Prii::e. a:td
! tn,.v lay side by sile.-Vulns thumb IL Ja.A's
lei: eye, aud JacS's resol;cr pushed into TOMS
| right ear. They had III il u1is-
| MIR. DcrEl attention IL called to tho 1act
| that i number Of "uulca nac!1 their fms eva;
| III snuif curing tile h2nner- ilnEdIcds OF
moths have eucczed tuc!r haaas OH III cousc-
! iuence.
| Now, after 3 l1lo5s Ct i.!n.t:-oiI year=, j.
| has pceu discovered tbs. e.,l+tiu;, On iho Lei.
doesn't help il the laast - sa:csl ti!a iaSh. I
there any oue in A.nari q who is.i't Is nad 90
| bt2Zcs3
-lla sensitive bov lives in Delaware. lie
arose =: midnight fn3tel !. t4ali-2-2c. anoAc Il
Etc, .c!c:z, aid bouy1 :l::t c5,nb. lie dllu.
want 10 harc an: h,sl h::h ask for 1t.
When they found William Owens. or Littlo
Rock, he lad t!llrt Our bt!.et hues i'll Ills body.
aud local pa:.er says laai he WAS nut living
| When found aud Lilo Wls extinct. Iha local
| paper WAS probably right.
I well. mine s!ioisc," said wealthy Israe.itc
| t. hi.; lueiu wao hal ASKED for nickel, II
| l5ul mind the v4lue iiIe shenta: bat
! Ahu5t tliua yut de interest ua dot sun would bo
| III y,u hundred years"
~ lady. being Q yacht during \ squail,
waa !orriiled at tie ul,srctnly iostv OF tie Cap
tin, WIN tod her that IniagA all s!uare,"
When hsie cuau soe wlsl ncr own eyes tuAt h3
H.caul tat everything IVES in i "reck-tan!i !ie.
A Mite pai.er Is publishing q list of all the
Gcc:.!:.s:. ny d:oA1in5 d:;:ii.. tie last forty
iitty years auI the Little boys are greatly i'll
pressed uy it, uud frequently read the sad cilron-
lclc while waiting Tor tacl: h4r to dry alter they
have come cut OF the r!ye:.
He went out between the acts. aad returned
yigorout!y chewing l. clove. His vile as3od hln
wllalo ue had bce:l, ai.l ho said, - 10 roe q
friend" Sue calE.ly raiIieu tlat hsle thought
his friend must be dead, IS she could Smell Els
bier.
a stage 1s111:pus.
Dom piatt. wyl.:a, il tho Capital OF etagc-
ride in Sos lorn, says:
Of late tho s.aHe coGlna:1ie5, 10 escape tic
~el-.1tlown ro5tciy by drivers, have put tue
patent box in each stage. The drivers give
Ne we're seated. wucn a:out gentleman Gu
tered aud crowded luto corner Iear tao door,
4ur the Stage Tas crowIei. Tie uo%-coller
to TX from h:s ree:-pocke: ragged note and
,pass sed It along the line The nan nearest tie
boz was 1ncok-eyod crca.ure in the single
breasted coat upon which connainS pions
fc:u.lcs ere Sd faud oi casting their burlens and
sometimes themselves. for ho WAS evidently
clergyman. Thin humble follower Of tho Lord
lifted the noro end dropped it in the Dox-
.'Eailooi" cried the Indignant gdipose near
the door, s'uhat d yeu do TINT fur !? LIS quar-
ter"
I'm very sorry, I'm sure" stamlacred tho
Gospel expuunder.
"1iuci, eoo.tH your sorrow do me-" answered
Indignation. working hs way to the Aolo through
which tue diver converse! with iha passengers.
1lc. trua en- several corns as lo pulled Ut tho
strap. 1Le stage carc to halt,
- .i,,,,t ~, 4t,roru1,
the hole.
s'Mhat charsc:" shouted down the driver.
IL put quarter iu the box"
"ilorc fool you"
81 want noEc OF your impudenco."
81 What do YOU want then =
81 want my ci,as1ge"
"You can't fool me that way. How do I know
you pu: . quarter in :" And ihe driver started.
The Clergyman ki'r:ns up aid pulled the strap
and shouted:
~ put tho quarter in, my good man, i: il all
correct"
Two Of you," rctcrted the driver. driving on.
Goth a1irose aud icty hung to the strap.
I'd, a YOU watt ni to :uil Inv ic.: on: If YOU tech
that st1ap again III come down aad bay-"indo"
yer couuielarces." Again tue stage rolled ou.
Permit me. si-, said tho Clergyman pulling
out very thin poclet-book-a pocket-bouk s.at
looked as il it lad gone into L decline, decline
to pay anvtnlne-and presenting IL ccnts.
II dou't want your MONEY! uag tile gEEA re-
spou1e; II wat my OWE, and I'm going to
hayo it," aud lo sefed tho strap at the mo-
meut hooE-r,oscd oil lady, who rcse:ub1cl
hawk III dclicato health, seized it. The feE,i-
nine looA-ucHo wanted to yet out TIC driver
made 70 response. Il, III Instant tho fat ulan,
the Clergyman, and Old lady wero swinging on
the strip The strap gudlcnly g>7e way, as il 1t
or the driver Ie. wero BROKEN. and tile three.
tu1nLI,ng over each other, tel to the bottom,
amid roars of laughter from all OF us. Tho stage
cane to Init. aud We heard tue driver shout,
splice! p'ico!" loud AZ Ee could bawi. A po-
lceman responding, the driver Informed linn
that there WAS - riot Gcins OIL a.EonE tho
..rua:,cs " inside his stage, and 'the'1 better
settle 'en bcfora We had another car-hooa 1uur-
Ger." The policeman opened tho door. Tho bel
lcercnta had suIsiLei, savc tho old l:dy. who,
attempting to get out was promptly arrested