The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-11-21
WHAT THE WITS SAY.


ton Courier.
A Georgia paper wants Bob Toombs put
into his last name.
Brigham Young is recovering, but it is
thought he will never e-wive.-Norristow
Herald.
"a base burner''-The man who sits
down on his lighted cigar Stubs. Louis
Journal.
An Indiana father crawled under a corn
crib and wept when his daughter married
an astronomer.-Detfo Press.
Since the proclamation of the President
the Thanksgiving turkey is spying out the
highest tree.-tSat Lake Tribune.
The editor Of the Toledo Democrat don't
wear his name ON paper, and no wonder.
TITS Alfred B. Jazss.--C Clebeland Leader.
A Danbury little darkey refused to go to
church ''kase he didn't want to look there
like a huckleberry in pan of milk. ."--Dau-
bury Neaes.
Rev. Tuis Titus Kendrick says he doesn't
believe dancing is a sin; but we suppose he
never had a Cincinnati girl tread on his
oes.-ChicGgo Inter- Ocean.
A Green Bay paper says that a widower
with a clean shirt on can marry in that
town within three hours. Green Bay is
northeast of Detroit boats run daily
I Press 1855.
Oh come now, this won't do. Here are
the Democrats quarreling among them
selves because they didn't carry few more
Congressional districts. Hogs.--Ctepela7ad
Herald.
The Terre Haute Gazette talks luxuri-
ously about witnessing the nude verities
of the Black Crook" And now, what on
earth does the man call 'sverityo"-St.
Louis Journal.
The Chicago papers are still harping on
the fact that ''the brides cake was twenty
two inches thick" That's just ten inches
more than the length of the brides foot,
St. Louis measufement.-Araus
The Cincinnati Times says that Steel Of
the Washington Chronicle ''tucks his ears
in his boots" but our confidential Wash
ington correspondent says this is wrong ::
he tucks his boots in his ears.--St. Louis
Journal. ..
Twenty-one girls of Kenosha, Wisconsin,
have "Resolved, that if the young men
won't come and see us, we will 60 and see
them" And the young men are stepping
down and out, and taking to the woods
Norrsstoen Herald.
We don't want to kick up great rum
pus and be the means of bringing about a
dozen libel suits; but right here and right
now it may be well to remark that tobacco
is not injurious to the human system. Now
then, come on.-DetroH Press.
A conscientious Whitehaller visited New
York last week On his return he was
asked If he attended any fancy places of
amusement. ''Sh-shr' said he, placing his
hand beside his mouth, "don't speak so
loud; went to hear Beecherr'- Whitehall
Times.
A New York paper contains the follow
ing 'sFifty dollars reward! If the indi-
vidual who entered my house and stole n
wallet containing $3.50, will allow me to in
teryiew him five minutes, the above reward
will be paid to his heirs or assignees. Oac-
en- G. Boydeaa.
Boston Globe: In view of the prevalence
of birds on ladies hats, this season, would
not some milliner make u fortune by put
ting on the brim of q hat whole poultry
yard, with horse looking at it through a
stable window? We charge nothing for
the suggestion.
Some vigilant newsgatherer has aseer-
tanned that the Duke Of Brunswick, at the
age of sc, is about to marry maiden of 26
summers. When once a man gets in the
habit of marrying, it's a luxury he can no
more abandon than an old maid can aban-
don chewing gum.-Argus.