Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1874-08-14

!. - = A large invoice of
New Go d 8
Just received at
sTRASDCRGER & SPERLlNG'S,
y consisting Of
1Iry Goods,
Clothing,
Hats aud
Gents E'urnishin9 Goods,
which, they will sell
At GREATLY REDUCED PRICES.
The very he~t Calieoes - 70 cts per Yard.
MUSI.INs from lex to 70 cents, Eleachetl and Tn
bIeached.
Also Agents for
Singers Sowing Machine,
which they will keep constantly on hand.
LAST FOURTH.

LAST FOURTH.
We guessed we'd 90 to the Fourth of July
The Fourth was at Central Park. They call
it Central Park because it's on tie side and
hasn't got any park. Its bad place to 60
to. You can't 70 around, for the proprietor
las nailed up all the fences within ten miles.
and the casl, not cxtortcL in tolls you leave
at the dinner table. THERE'S a good bar
there with barrel that is able to produce
any quality Of whisky you call for. sent
East tor one OF those barrels, hut they said
Central Park had bought W thy patent. No
wonder that bridge isn't fixed when that
barrel is on this side. No wonder every body
who iniests Central Parker has his life insur-
ed clear np. No wonder Central Park mo,:-
Opolizes all the Conventions. NJ one ever
heard Of the Good Templars. down there
where the Church West neurishes like
green bay tree.
So, drawn BY that barrel and patriotic love
Of country, all BOzeman pointed for the
Park the morning of the 4;h. Not a bob-tall
horse or a reL-nused man was lett behind
Tie dust wlirled to heaven rs the town LEI:
town, and by noon You could have counted
noses with your eyes shut.
At the Park all was life atd hustle (therc
were probably 500 Of the latter. the flooring
Of the bridge was pitching about in the ali
as thu teams rolled over it. anu fourteen Lie
insurance agents stood guard by that barrel
ready for business.
All. saul Squire Tompkins, that's real old
Bourbon.
No, said Judge Skukum. its real old Scotch.
No, sir, said DR.. Squils, its real old rye.
Gentlemen, said the proprietor as lie took
a glass Of water, its anything you please.
And then, as a wagon load Of ministers
drove up. he rolled tie barrel out by the back
door, chucked the .in cup under the counter,
cl'alke.l the noses OF the congregation and
began to sing, ''Oh the old oaken bucket
that hung in the WE'LL
kno,o titat barrel was empiied four times
that day. but, wien zoe eft, it was full !; and
SO were We.
Ten miles from Central Park is the Park.
The Park once on Il time extended 10 Central
Park, hut the wa>hinss Of that barrel have
gradually burnt off all the timber and left
| the ground SO bare of vegetation that ten
men died there tins spring tor van; OF sage
to make sage tea to save them.
| We couldn't stand the nhsnIs,.ss. go ..-o
shot ont by the window and went to dinner.
".Ah!' said til, sheriff as he cut into his
fourth, piece Of beef and tossed the tenth
potato down his threat, s.al,!' said he, 1--WE
cat to I've. - !.
''Ah! yes indeed said Coal:-and he revcr
spoke again.
Just then a gun went off and every man
jumped up and put his ice cream in his
pocket and ran for the speakers stand.
We heard that carpets alp demoraiizing
and that merchant alwa, has bis hands in
the farmers pocket. We cidn't hear any
Ia mcrs say 50, though.
| We heard that sofas drag family down to
Hell, and that stuffed chair is the aLOmIra-
ton Of dpso!atien-but we didn't hear any
farmer say 80.
miGtl!eMen it ought to b.. and that il the two
thieves on the cross were not merchants it
was because they hadn't been able to hire
store-but we didn't hear anv ia, mers say so.
| We heard hat rail- Dads had swampeO the
United States Of America, and that a COM
nunity Ct farmers could getsalong without
merchants, bat that q community Of mer-
chants can't get along without farmers-yet
we heard no farmer say so.
We heard that the mechanic and the manu-
facturer, as well as the merchant. are a detri-
ment to the farmer-that the more ease and
luxury the farmer affords his wife the more
demoralzed isln and her family become but
NC didn't hear her or the farmer or her fam
lily say SO.
guess they'll risk the sofas and the car
pets and the door mats. and get the best Of
the devil after all. ST. Peter don't intend to
cuff Harvey Wells over the ears and send
him of with the goats because lie built
pew hou.e. any more than he means to slam
tie door in the face of Brigham Reed because
he takes care OF his p!ows Id winter. Aid
any farmers wife knows that the more com.
tortAble a, d elegant her home, the more re-
fined her family and the less her sons roam
to the four ends Of the ear; h, thecountry for
| to see.
| A carpet brings clean feet. aud clean feet
bring clean men and clean men bring clean
cash, and clean cash brings another carpet.
and another carpet brings sofa. and sofa
brings window curtains, and window cur
tains bring new chairs, and new chairs bring
well to-lo beaux. and well-tO-d0 btaux take
on your girls to welI-to-do houses and car
pets aud sofas III their own.
| And when you shuttle of this mortal coil
and are looki, z about tor your place up above.
Sc. Peter will say, 'Were you Tar Mrr?"
"1es.'' did you provide your sirls sofa
and carpet aud cane-b"ttoned chairs-dl
you supply your sons kundsy clothes and
plug iats?"
| "Yes."
swell done." he will say, "that's the Kind
of man am-take front rocking chair, my
son.
|
! The exercises of the Jay over, some re-
malne-l 10 dance. some to plot polite. some
/, "a talk crops, but Es went after that barrel.
which. GAe the Widow Crises oil y, was
J found oycrf.wing with milk and honey.
/ And we went back to Bozemaii. And We
bought new carpet out Of spite, and being
.lcmoralizsd by the teaching ct the day. We
49,. ,.,., ,,,,;l., o,,n.voI ever aince irving