, 1874-05-17

Madison street loVer-p peddIor andeayors to entico
him into buying :uberoso button-hole oouquet,
be frowns haughrily and turns aside az abruptly
as if the flower man had sMnted LIS oAaeto1!es
with tho odor OF garlic.
SpelI-bornd-B-o-u-n-d.
a great object IN ife-A ginnt.
Mats for Creu7tionistB-Burut alnonds.
Something in particular Observation-Disclosures
InAgR.
Tho reason why q wstch is called watch is
evidently because it is always on its guard.
Farmers gather what thoy SOW, while seam
stresses sew whnt they gather
May day. Made A-CadmuA. Maid, eh =
Joan of Arc. Made hay-Alaud Muller
AN English boy, on being nsked the other
day WHO wRs Primo Minister OF England, an
svorod, without hesitation, 31r. spurgeon."
A man was Boosting that be had beon mar
wife CROSS word Those who knew him say ho
didn't daro to.
-Instead Of saying II It's long time between
drinks" Western mon now remark, :" Its long
time since l signed my last pledge"
-'tYou lie like q gas-meter is the fayorite
emphasism in Albany at present
What word is always pronounced wrong, oron
by the best scholars? Wrong.
81 Kissing your sweetheart" 6avB trlning
young man, sis like eating soup with d fork; 1t
takes q long time to get enough" 49,
-placards on the st. Louis street-cars declare
that "This car can't wait for adios to kiss good
bye"
"a lady asked 3lr. Johnaon if he liked chill
| dren. "Don't know, ma an" answered that
Grabbed old gentleman; "nsVer tried EN-; am
not an OGRE"
a California poet has bought mule, and
brother-poet chronicles it a9 = remarkable an
stance Of 6elf-posscssiou.
Tho Danbury cremationists are going to petit
ton the Legislature to change ths name Of the
town to Danburu.
accomplishing thing by indireetion: Tor
doctor to keep patients waiting by putting On
his door In Directly"
Tho Worcester Press Bpeaks OF a contempo-
| rarJ who hires a small boy TO- come in at inter-
yals with step-ladaer and dust oil the tops Of
his cara. -
Tho St. Louis papers record the death Of
young child, "who ate some concentrated lye.'
It was very culpnblo in the ctild's mother to
leave the city Journals around in so careless
| manner
4 little boy, who vns Worrying over @ piece
OF shad at dinner lately, damoralized his mother
By asking, Mamma, where did God find all the
! bones to make the first shad of:"
Men dying make their wtlls-but wives
| Escape work so sad;
Why should they make what All their lives
The gentle dames have had7
"A man applied for a divorce at Burlington
| the other day because his better half had do
| serted him, saying that she didn't propose to
leave New York State to go and liye with a lot OF
d-d Vermont guua-chawsEs."
| through fence exclaimed: s'What! crawling
| through fence! Pigs do that" "Yes,' re-
torted the boy, "and old hogs 60 along the
street."
"s'moil on your hair sir:" Glowing Aercely
| down customers neck). Customer" Phew!
| what's that2" Hair-cutter-" S'mol SIR" Gus
| TONER" Then I won't have any,"
While q couple Of women we're discussing,
the other day, the merits Of q certain physcian'
| one of ttem asked the other what kind of
doctor he was. ''Surc, dunno, - yas the reply,
'tbut think it's an alpaca doctor they call him"
| TIE cEAv1:o1asEE's nEa1oss7nAscz.
! {1o Sir II. Thompson.)
Who ara you, to be thiegtng
The poor sextons brad?
How eau orr living,
| Hyou our dead?
| --Bobbs complains TINT his wife is an in
| }ationist- She blows him up every day, and
makes hlm circulate until he actually feols that
he is beyond Observation-Disclosures Com
| rnercidl.
A thrice-made widow, gazing upon three
mounds, remarked to her escort: 'Joe, you
| might have been in that row had sou possessed
a little moro courage" " Not for Joe," thought
he, though he uttered not q word.
| People who are overwlse must expect to pay
| for their whims, as the Iowa man did Ha went
| back On llls own true love because ehe ate
onions, and the jury gayo her 81, ,20O da1nages
How much better for him If he had offset her W
| eating Limbu1ger cheese.
a cynical winter says; 1ake companJ tp;1a1
of boys chasing buttertlea; Put long -tailea ito
coats on the boys, and turn tne outternles 1nto
dollars, and you hare beautiful panorama Of
the world" ::
There isn't anT bootbiack IN Desro1s VINO
has q bank account of S700, like that Troy poy,
| but there arc scYera; hero who know where they
can lay their hands on stoye-ooler Wien len tho
next circus is advcrtlsed.-Detron Free t'Tess.
Young Indy Of q suspiciously roseate COM
ple1ion to horse-ca5 eondqctor fease, s'F 1a
wish to so to the Old Colony Btat1on.-ls thls
car mine ?" Brutal conductor Cooking her closely
in tho face)-"1 should Say 1t was !"-Boslo"
Courier. >,
with his hair parted IN the centreT".l !
never knew dozen girls, you Know, who could
talk sense with q fellow, you know" WIN hef
hair frizzed and frzzled nud fro;gsy and tumbled
over her left eyu)-" Wealln7 Well, tho fact .ia,
all the girls 1 know suit their conversation to
the party with whom they are talking, 'you
know" .'".s:.-''
"!Good evening" said lady, dressed IN the
height, or rather the depth. Of fashion. to he1
| mariner in the German at oue Of the late balls.