National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-08-29
SHE NEVER DID 1T.
SUSIE Is INTERVIEWED AND DENIES


SUSIE Is lNIEhN 1E hEO AMI DENIES
ALL.
Rochester is Q busy, beautiful place Susan
lives there. Perhaps you have heard Of Susan.
Susan knows great many people, and q few Of
the newspapers have said some things about her
Oflste Susan weigh about twenty ounces to the
pound, and might weigh more If she wasn't
troubled with leanness. Her house stands on q
quiet, secluded spot Of the noisy and industrious
inland town, and If It didn't have her name on
the front door you wouldn't know she resided
there. This silver plate with the well-known
initials attracted our curiosity and we ventured
in. She hadn't much time to spend on reporters,
owing to the fact that she was preparing an ex-
traoTdinary statement in REPUTATION Of BeSsIe's
laundering lie."
"And who is Bessie, we pray you, Mrs. Susan9"
said we.
Gentle reader now was the time to witness the
length, breadth, depth and circumference Of
SusIe's wrath. She is 9 strange woman. She
never maddens without making point. No mat
ter what point The room was large but she
filled It. Unwilling her far-sightsd vision by re-
moving her near-siGhted specs, she elevated one
Of her dark gray orbs until It reached our dome,
and lowering the other until it covered our feet,
she said with gesture of animated surprise,
Haven't you heard Of that girl Bessie YETI Well,
wonder. The newspapers had it i'm
H"What INF" We interrupted.
"What inl Goodness Kraciousl are you an
American citizen in good standing and haln't
heard about it?''
About WhatG" we again put in.
"About whatI Well, then, if 1 amt surprised.
Why, about what the newspapers said about
what never didYr
what didn't you do, SusanH" said we, blsndly.
"Do! why never did anything Of the kind,
and they know better. They ought to be
ashamed Of themselves; If they hain't, I'm
ashamed for them. This whole matter has got
to be sifted to the very bottom, and don't care
If It takes lifetime to find the bottom, either"
"And what do you refer to now, Mrs Susan,
allow Us to ask" Intercepted we.
an show you what refer to, said she, SEEKING
q New York Tribune which contained Bessie's
statement. THAT there, I" she continued, pointing
to the part which nettled her most sis in length,
breadth and general massiveness, the biggest
falsohOOd that was ever uttered, and ! have been
to great many political meetings, too"
"Oh, then, you mean to have me understa nd
that you never, never, nev-that is to say-neVer,
9ey--; yQg know that about TheOdores knees,
don't your"
This question filled US with grave apprehen-
slons Of danger, as pair Of shears and an um-
brellA were near enough for Susan to manipulate
at will; but the kind, good-natured soul didn't.
Not any. She merely arose from her cushioned
seat and stood before US in all the majesty Of her
injured feelings, with one hand resting her hip
and the other gyrating somewhere within radius
that nearly reached our head.
Said she, "Young man
We remarked that our name was MI Brown
but It failed to attract her attention.
DO you suppose that would so far forget my
dignity rs 70 for one precious single, blessed no
ment plsylully nestle in the arms Of that fellow
Theodore, or any other mann"
81 really don't think you'f-
"Listen, young man." said she, ''for this is q
very curious affair and one which naturally in
terests both old and young"
We nodded "thRt it certainly did" particularly
Did, gray headed mon with one foot in the grave,
who have been known to get up in the night and
light a candle to reread certain paragraphs In
the statement
u sit in Theodore's lapI Not much, young
man; that's q grave misstatoment. Why, I'd
sooner occupy the roof of red hot oven in July,
lad, indeed would now, and there's no foOlIng
about 1t. Young boy, when the United States
becomes situated in the Indian ocean, when the
North Pole is used as flag staff In the desert Of
Arabia, when honest men go to Congress and
go to Heaven, when icecles fringe
the equator and Icelanders are sunstruck, when
the Queen Of Great Britain sits In the White
House as ruler, and the White House stands In
the Mississippi valley; when bad mon go to glory
and good men go to Halifax-(sne didn't mean
rich men are all honest and
honest men get their dues, when Methodists
preach Catholicism and Jesuits teach Protestant
ism, when truth means falsehOod and Heaven
means hell, then, young man, and not till then,
will Susan b. found nesting and fOoling around
In the lap Of that unfortunate, ana at times de-
spicsble species OF the human race commonly
called man. Bessie is idiot, for never did It,
SO help me John" She didn't say what John,
which was bad for the Johns generally.
While she was thinking of some more eompari-
Sons we slipped out for refreshments and forgot
10 return. It's strange the newspapers will keep
this falsehood afoat after such Straightforward
denial Of the fact in totum. The newspapers are
Did enough to know better. W. UP.