The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-07-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


ricosc veins, cold feet, and even pnpltatlon o W
heart may be brought on by ughl garter j
the wrong place. "-El.
We have thought Of this master Soou W."
II has annoyed us when awake ana tro"oicu :"
in our sleep 1t is fearful e'ii ana sho"'" y
seen to. We have appointed ourselves Gum
mittee of one to see TO it. We are now pray
ing hand. and expect to start upon crnsau
-. ,,ool, ona every woman we meet--that is,
she, The youns and pretty-will be prayed at, ana
in imitation Of Madame De Geer we say la
dies. YOU must stop this horrid custom ol wear
ing carriers below the knee. You must iiit EN-
higher and If You don't do it, we SbcelH"') ""
make you do t."
,rbe philosophical gourmand of the Detroit
Er1e press thinks that "lifc has increased charms
during strawberry season.
Yes that is. alas! too true; but with ii comes a
compensatng sorrow, grief that more IMAM
balances the low and that is to have strawtcTrics
held by the fruit dealers at 20 cents pint
rho o,,or dav n Keokuk local astonished Wis
fling editor by picking up the pastep"t ana y
,,air Of scissor; with the remark that he must
"a ont on the street and look up few items -
burlington Hdckty'.
AS novel way Of mentioning mat an eui'or
has taken wife, a contemporary says:
The editor of the Gibson Courier has Jus: tax
On out license to dodge tiatrons.
Minnesota claims that it can raise the best
wheat and the best stock in the country, hui 1or-
Gets 10 add that it does the other thing with the
thermOmeters.-ET
What that "other thing" may be, we maven
time TO guess.
We regret TO learn that there IS marked fall
inv off in the Weld of the South African d!a-
,nond fields for we have not yet laid in our sup
ply Of diamonds.
According TO the Oakland, Cal, Tribp"c, the
local option liquor measure is as follows; "toUr
eils make one pint two pints make one quart
four quarts make one gallon anu five gallons
make one legal drink, and We might add, ought
TO make one drunk.
New York compliments Philadelphia, small
rival settlement, as follows:
The growth of Philadelphia is said to be like
that of a tree--marked by the number Of IT.
Rings.
Isaac Foote delivered in st, Charles last Mon
Gay thrty-two kegs Of beer-the amount of one
order, The week before lie delivered eighteen
Isaac says the beer is all for ladies in poor health
We never knew before what an unhealthy locali-
ty We lived in-Grdnger.
The season has been quite healthy so far, but
the doctors look more cheerful as cucumbcrs are
coming into the market-DiL0n TcegraPh
4 Columbus, o., clergyman bestows the fol
owing epithets upon the editor of The OHIO State
Journal. who does not look at the temperance
crusade business through the same spectaces as
the clergyman: "Whsky-swller,n "blasphemer"
"drunkard," atheist" tool of the whisky ring,
"inhdcl," hummer" sabbath breaker" sc,
Sweet are the uses of gentle charity!
4 proposition has been made to ilod. Brun-
dage to oiiiciate as liberty pole on the Fourth
MGrsdtles advertiser.
Don't let it be done! His appearance in that
capaclty would Brighten even the cars off the
track, and dry up" every COW within five miles
Let Hod alone. Let him die natural death
lie win petriiy and become an improvement on
the Cardiff Giant.
Mr. s. S. Cox, in his lecture on american HUI
NOR" said that in Thibet they pull man by the
ear when they want him to drink. Here some
men ask You to drink verbally and then chew
your ear" for a couple of hours just for sociabili
ty.-Cinciaidt Enqu.
Here they ask man to drink in numerous
ways. Some merely flip up one thumb oyer the
shoulder and start Off, as If they were suddenly
sent fo,. Won follow and ask no questions. 9th. |
.,,,, -. al. ,,, :, ,.o,
CTS VIM ~ you' o'h''s "H''" "sN ~" ""
VIII "cremate"
In snool;r,orJy so,,nmor Io,. Of ,he chi.
caro- Tnty.Oceqn an exchange pertincntly re.
marks. that "entcrinr newspaper Office for the
Grst time, at the mature age of 50, he managed
ty close attention TO the business to sink 500.
600 in wear and half"
ihere was livery party gwen IN Springfield
q few evenings since, and this is the way the To-
col az tlo Jo,,.,,, ,,oos into rbc toiI,ttn husi
ness
Miss Y wore red bombazinc dress,
rdchca with point alpaca, and an oycrskirt of
rose Bingham with border Of parsley blossom.
Her tounurc was particularly noticeable from
The fact that her hair was so dcliciously scram-
Died in front. She also wore No. lilac double
button gloves, and No. u storc shoes slashcd at
the heel, ana ponpadour socks.
\ story in one chapter, Hs told hy the Norwalk