Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-04-12

fy, If you hammer any more d,
"Ahi | vas sorry-very, Eat L offend
Monsieur. 1 viii 60; l viii play some
ozzer time"
yes, some other timewhen I'm
out"
So the little Frenchman spread him.
self in an extremely polite bow and
danced from the room.
Mrs. S~quirkins," said l, with con-
siderable dignity, ''allow me to make a
few remarks, the tennor OF which L
hope will not be misconstrued by you,
but will sink deep within your heart.
If you ever have a particular desire TO
bring on paralysis of the brain, or
make me a particular subject lit Tor a
lunatic asylum, be particular TO call
me to hear that particular monkey
play his particular peculiar pieces;
Whenever l wish to have condensed
thunder and lightning, and a consoll-
dation of all imaginable, hideous n
unearthly fend-like noises served up
to me in a lump, my dear, III inform
you"
"But Absalom, love, you only feel
spiteful because you do not understand
scientific music. The professor ID ack-
nowledged to be a very fine elaborate
player, and / think him superb"
"If he plays scientific music, I'd
rather make a hand-organ of our dogs
tail, as his bowling would be far more
preferable. Aheml I'm afraid my
dear, that you are somewhat fiat
tered by his addressing you as Mad
emoiselle!
Time rolled along, and Monsieur
Victor De Slamanbang came three or
four times a week and gave my wife
lessons. She said that he was an ex-
cellent teacher and that she wa learn
ing very fast, and of course | could not
be otherwise than pleased. But there
is a tide in the affairs of men some
times, which taken at the food leads ON
to-well, it commences with a d and
ends with a nation.
One day l happened home at an a r
her hour than usual, the hour that my
wife generally commenced her lessons,
and as l passed through the hall, in
stead of hearing the usual tinkhng of
the piano, l heard a subdued murmer
of voices within the room, and detected
| the voice Of Monsieur speaking in a
very low manipulating manner. This
sounded strange to me, and though l
never had experienced heretofore any
feeling of jealousy. yet a strange
thought came 20 my mind. l stepped
outside on the piazza and peeped
through the blinds of the window, and
the sight that l beheld was not In the
least appreciated l. can assure you.
There was Monsieur Slamanbang down
upon his knees before my wife with
hands clasped, and was pouring forth
In passionate tones his great feelings
of love for her; while my wife had her
handkerchief before her face, and seem
ed to be shaking with suppressed laugh
ter or trembling with deep emotion.
/ waited to see or hear 40 more, but
bounced into the hall and burst into
the room considerably excited.
"Sir-r-r, what is the meaning of
this?" said /, In a vesuvius manner
The little scoundrel was quite embar-
raised for a moment, but soon regained
his composure and came dancing up to-
ward me, smiling and showing his teeth
like a little william.
"Ah, monsieur, pardon" said he,
"ze great beauty of Mademoiselle, and
re grace of what you call zat,-oh,
manner, has filed mon heart wiz pas
sion. / love Mademo:selle and hope
Monsieur will not be offended"
What you love lore r' roared 1 in
| amaZement at the audacious avowal.
You make love to my loite and tell me
of it? what do you take me for, you
monkey? So this is what l pay you
for-what is the meaning of this-this
outrageous conduct? Farley VOC
quick, before Ipour the oil of my wrath
upon your head and swallow you at
at one gulp."
"Vatl vatr' he gasped, staggering
back and gazing at me with protruding
eyes, and a countenance upon which
was depicted the most ridiculous look
imaginable. VAT zis is Monsieur's
rife! Mon dieu! mon dieu vat hOrri-
BILE meestakel vat terrible d~enOURse-
meRtP
who in thunder did you suppose
her to be, if not my wife?" l bIwled
excitedly.
"Ah! pardon, pardon, Monsieur" he
cried, waving his hands appealingly.
"Von grand meestakel Pom honneur
l vas innocent-I did not know re
truth, 1 thought Madame vas re
daughter of Monsieur. Pardon, l vas
Innocent"
Ny fury left me speeches.. / could
only stare on vacancy. Here was the
delight of having a young wife-taken
for a daughter and actually made love
to, and that love confded to ME, her
old husband. My wife had never been
introduced as Mrs. or Miss, but he had
naturally concluded that, judgingf from
ages, it was the latter. / went to the
door and opened it-held it wide open
by the knob. Monsieur took the hint
and skunk out with a crestfallen look,
assisted in a great measur by the toe
of my boot.
1 have advertised chat piano" for
sale, and my wife has found a most en-
dearing epithet to apply to me in con-
sequence: 1t is "You brute." But wait
till the spring bonnets come in market,
then, l guess aheml "Absalom will be
himself again."-Our Freside Friend.
ONE Of the Oldest merchants in New
Orleans, in a recent letter to a cores
pondent in Boston says the population
of New Orleans has fallen off in two
years 10000, and there are no less than
7,000houses aud stores at present I'M
occupied. Fifteen years ago New
Orleans was at the acme of its wealth,
prosperity and commercial Importance,
second only to New York and Boston.
Its river and ocean tonnage in port,
loading and d~ischarging, was seldom
less than 10000 tons, and in the bust
est season of the year double that
amount.
DIR. Sehenck's Remedies.
The standard remedies for all diseases of the
lungs are S~CHENCK's PULMONIC SYRUP,
SCHBNCK's SEA WEED Tonic, and ScHENCK's
PILLS, and, ii taken before the
lungs are destroyed, a speedy cure Is effected.
To these three medicines DR.. j. II. Schenck,
Of Philadelphia, owes his unrivalled success in
the treatment of pulmonary diseases.
The Pulmonic Syrup ripens the morbid mat
ter in the lungs; nature throws il OF by an easy
APPROPRIATION, for when the phlegm or matter is
-