davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

TNbo friends of Mr. 4 NJ Simpson will find him at
q. 1. Weller's Boot, Shoe and Hat Store,
Main Street His lady friends he would be particular
" glad to see and serve: Give him call apr23ly
TANNERS will find at c. L. Weller's Boot, Shoe
and Hat Store a large stock OF Boots and
Shoes GOOD Goods and prices low. Give him call
and buy, "plA 90
<1HILDREN and infants Colored and Black Shoes
I and Slippers in endless variety Just receiv-
M c. L. WELLER'S,
on . o. o. IL Boot Shoe and Hat Store.
A icines 81 CIV MAY & coos,
inne II - opposite Spectator office.
AMPS OF all STYLES and sizes. at very low figures,
IL at the Drug store OF e.. W; Ma No. q "a "a,
june IL opposlIe opeosaso- -..n...-
UV) sale. Nv WOODS y GILKESoN.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

Market street Methodist Church OF Peters,
burg has ordered new organ' to cost $4,000.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18
Stanton Advertisements.

ana summer
DRY GOODS & MILLINERY.
we now offer our Goods at the following prices.
Beautiful Bed Spreads and Quilts, IL 4 q 32.Sa
to $500, =.
Linen Towels, very large. d $50 per dsasa.
worth s. 100.
japanese Dress deeds. a. per >a,d, vsssh vs..
Satin Stripe Mohair Dress Goods, q e0s pes
yard, worth 9Oc..
Iron Grenadines, plain and Satin Stripe, q ~
to $l,OO,
Beautiful Japanese Drssa Good. at aas. verb
eyardsof Bleached Cotton far Goa, Worth liz
per yard,
Mary Stuart and Grand Duchew
make, double face. Black Alpaca, ct 500 per
yard. This ia the best for the money in the
State.
~ We have=s fine line Of DRESS GOODS.
AND cAHxoT BE UsnERsoLD BIZ Anybody. -
Alligator Belts from 25o to 100
large assortment Of Hamburg Edge, 10 to ~
Parasols from Soc to 500,
Kid Gloves from 75c to $50,
Shoe strings, ga long. 10 per dsses,
Hair Plaits OF Is, 40, and 500.
kesl Hair Goods, the largest sssortaasaa IN sAe
State. good and cheap.
Il vail Dc ycnr eyes good to zee our
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

CHAS EHAINES, has Just received large and
varied stock Of Chewing and Smoking Tobacco. Prl-
ces to suit all purchasers. ap-30
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

INTERNAL REVENUE STATISTICS.-We are
indebted to B. B. Bolts, ESD, Collector for the
9th Internal Revenue District, for the following
statistics, representing the amoant CT Grain and
Fruit Spirits made during the eleven months
preceding the LIST Of June:
Grain Spirits produced during the eleven
months, ending May 3lst, 1874, in 9th District
of Virginia, 1853, 2lO gallons, of which 13S, 135
were produced in Augusta county, and on
which, tax accrued to the amount OF $1l7, 747,-
90. There was, also. produced in the District,
a. 446 gallons Fruit Spirits-tax on same s21,-
1920. OF this not more than was produced
in Augusta county.
OF the above spirits produced from grain there
are still in Bond, and no tax paid, n, 1916 gal
lons-tax on same, $54, O37.2O.
CIRCUIT CoURT-Judge Mclaughlin presi-
ding, is still in session. The business of the
Court is being rapidly disposed Of. The entire
criminal docket, and nearly the whole of the
law docket have been dispatched. There were
between 60 and 70 judgments entered in one
day, 40 Of which were those of the Southern
Mutual Insurance Company, against policy hol-
ders. The judgments in these cases were only
for the first assessment. In the case of Trot-
in taking the evidence, and in which jury was
waived, and the case submitted to the Judge,
decision has not yet been rendered. The case
of Gen. John E. Roller VS.. George L. Peyton,
&C., of the White Sulphur Springs, was taken
up yesterday "Wednesday, and verdict for
800 rendered for plaintiff.
In the case of A. Pitman VS.. G. R. Mason,
the jury, after being out several days, failed to
agree.
1t is expected the Court will adjourn Satur-
day.
A few cases will go over to the next term,
probably twenty.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

Haines' "Top OF the Pot. and delicious" Bran
Cigars, are becoming generally known as the dnea
brands in the market, ap-S0
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18
m q TIC Fl.
PUBLIC SALE OF
Valuable REAL ESTATE!

WILL SELL ON t-
SATURDAY, JUNE goth, 1874,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

The "Top of the Pot Cigars are made only by G. ]
HAINES, at the Staunton Cigar Factory ap-30
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

The letters if not called for within thirty days
will be sent to the dead letter office. Perse,s calling
tor them will Please say that they advertised.
JOHN A. HARTMAN, Pm.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

GEO. P. BAKER, Chairman
J. H. Blackley, Secretary je l8-lt
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

The Staunton Cigar Factory claims the best ciga
for cents that is made in the Stste.s ap-30
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1874-06-18

YJyO THE PUBITC.-The undersigned is now en-.
gagged in all kinds OF Carpentering. Houss =
planned and constructed III the yery bes. man. r.
Flower Frames for yards He will I've pleased to r. =
ceiye orders from the citizens OF Staunton and VI
cinity at his shop opposite the Wesleyan Female
Institute corner Of Fayett" nnd Johnston streets.
orders promptly attended to.
may 1T j. W. MAYS,
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

wv Houses two story and French root, bay windows,
marble mnDels, water closets 10 high ground,
delightful location only eight minutes walk from depot
house with two lots 9400J easy terms Valuable Build
Go sec the property Call on the agents. SMITH BROS,
whitestone, or 3. A. ARMSTRONG, 4G9 Broadway.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

GREAT BARGAIN-s30lo A NICE SWISS COT
"A tage for sale, and two Lots 6Cx10S short distance
nom the city Call On Vie owner. 3Q2 Pearl street.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12
WHITEsTONE PROPERTY FOR SALE
OR TO LET.

IL L. l. two story basement and French roof Houses
modern improvements three blocks from railroad depot
depot $50 70 $500 EACH Apply to A. = RIKEES at %
F. NJ, and at railroad depot. Westonc, from to r.
NJ each day.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12
PROPERTY OUT OF THE CITY FOR
SALE OR TO RENT.

A FINE HOTEL FOR SALE ON EASY TERMS
N To one who knows how To keep hotel and Is will.
ling this an opportunity seldom met with situated at
CiiftOn, N. J on the Erie Railway and New York and
Patterson plank road miles from Hobokcn and Psyo.
boarders and road honsc fitted with hot and cold water
gas heaters ranges &C. beautiful Picnic Grove, with
ply to owner, GEORGE v. DE MOTT, Clifton Nj.
A TRENTON FLUSHING. MILES FROM CITY,
"A leS trains.--Mcdern House, ~ rooms; gas water
easy. Apply on premises, corner State and I1ayitt
streets Flushing, or to WILLIAM MORRILL,, No. Bur-
ling slip. New York.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

PLAlNfIELD. N J.-FOR SALE, NEARLY
"A now and handsome Resldenco; lot iO0x4 o; finc
stabing, de- photograph can be seen at liz fuilon
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

CTEWART BROWNS SUPERB COUNTRY SEAT
- "Robinswood on shore of Whitestcne Fay, hour
rom busins by q trains VIII be let with ararc Tor
bes icehouse boat ana bathing houses dine beach, yege
table garden. handsome shrubbery flowers, iruit and
greenhouse: the grounds IS be laid ont
apsrk Call, on and aitcsGqesdsy, Iih inst. on GEO
10 and At Bennett Building 30 Nassau street New York
ITO LET-AT so PER MONTH, PRETTY HOUSE,
i six rooms cellar. &C. lot 25xl0
At $3 per month cosey House. rooms cellar, &c
lot t0xl50; vegetable garden
At $5 per MONTH fine House. seven large rooms, range,
DC; lot 5Dxl50; vegetable garden.
All of above In Garden Park, 10 minutes from depot
at Whitcsonc.
Also, at from SIS per month upwards neat Houses in
various parts OF tho village.
For sale pretty comfortable Houses near depot six to
ten rooms land tor gardens; you need only pay from
$500 to 500 cash down and from $ to 200 per month";
The Test business corner in Whesone for sale al on
mortgage II you build. Call on JOHN e. GLEASON,
room Il sixth floor cake elevator Bennett building %
Nassau street. New York, or SAMUEL DRAKE Real
hour tn I'll ha nrn
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

no LET-TWO BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY RESIDENCES
II cheap rents one AT Macombs Dam, overlooking
Central avenue, with az acres Of ground laid with
ride Of Central rark the other Gothic cottage House
tween Broadway and Grove avenue. Morrsania with
lots Of ground laid out us atove the houses carriage
houses and stables perfect order and the
very healthy Apply on the premises or to X. B. DAILY
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

WESTcHE TER Farm AT BARGAIN-32
acres, nice house, barn. orchard, &c, the ciy
terms ensy: price low
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

ITO LET-AT BERGEN POINT, VIA CENTRAL RAIL-
road Now Jersey, 81 trains daily, 70 minutes from
New York, elegant unlurnishcd House; cvory CONVEX
fence, location inc views delightful surroundings unex
coptlonable 10 rooms large and cheerful beautiful
lawn fruit trees vines and shrubbery fishing boating
surpassed rent taken in Board by two adults who
nsh their own apartments Address box $3.50 Post ONCE.
New York.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

At wOODsIDE, NEWARK. N. J.-HANDSOME. WELL
attic rooms , bath laundry range hsstor Sc; stable.
berry and lawn location choice eathfui; easy terms
Apply TO or address ALICE FLINrOFT Summer avenue,
Woodsle n. j.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

(NOUNTRY RESIDENCE TO LET-2h MILES FROM
~ Port Chester depot house: III rooms barn and
rage house OF land and orchard rent $500 Ad-
dress j. l.. MOSHEH, Glenvilie, Conn.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

tage House. Jour acres grapery barn. dc, &c. one
NILE from MaInaroneck, halt q milo from Harrison
station New Haven Railroad. Apply to y. A. GRANT,
81? Broadway.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

COUTU ORANGE, N. J.--NEw TEN.RO COTTAGE
- House Tor sale, beautifully situated. Ave minutes
from depot; price 5000. half cash. Address OWNER
hox q 54j Post office.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

IL ferry; gcnteman and wife or two gentlemen !;
second story back Room S6 third story 'front.', $l4 no
moving Address IRVING. Herald Office.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

T PLAINFIELD. n. J-FOR SALE, TO CLOSE AN
N estate. Pentlcnans Residence: house contains II
rooms; large sabe grounds filled with ruit and shrub
berry; lot fronts three streets; contains about
acre first class location, near depot. schools AMI
churches; terms easy Call address aEORGE A.
MARSH. opposite depot or JAMES N. TAYLOR, No. *
Pine street. New York
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

IN THE SOUND. AT LARCHMONT, A FULLY AND
~ handsomely furnished Villa with two acres, boat
house, Stables, &c, IS miles by New Haven Railroad.
to careful private family 500 per nonn or 1000
tandt street.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

G.OnO CASH AND BALANCE IN THREE YEARS.
DLUU For the most desirable Building Lots IN Tn
charming village OF Flushing ten CHURCHES: excesst
public library streets severed sidewalks paved. lighted
with gas and water IN pipes now being introduced;
populROu 5000: only q minutes from Thirty fourth
Street New York. and a minutes from City Han. ~
side walks md graded Streets without extra charge .
purchasers Persons of moderate means may pay b
4. and 80 r NJ, irtrn store $50 third avenue Maps
free ladies shown courtesy. Call upon address
BENJAMIN W. HITCHCOCK, koai Estate Headquar-
ters E3s Third New York (ofce opposite Main
street depot Flushliu1.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

AT TARRyTowN. ON THE uUDsoN-oNK HOUR
a from the city, handsomely furnished and uniur-
nishcd Houses and Cottages for sale and with inn
mediae possession, at low prices Full particulars with
D. EMERSON, go Sixth avenue
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

AT NEW BRIdHTON--TO RENT-FURNISHED AND
IA unfurnlshod Villas all nodern city improvements,
billiard tables gardens lawns shade, stables charming
Views cU minutes Wall street. every half hour: mod.
crate rents JAMES PENISTEN, No Pine street,
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

(,oUNrEY RESIDENCE. FURNISHED. TO LEI-oN
~ New Haven Railroad, At South Norwalk, Conn,
commanding a fne view OF tho sound: very healthy /;
1--WE minutes from depot and steamboat lsnding; in per-
tubs &c sS acres Of beautiful lawn shade and plenty
let the season year to good party at low
Apply to A J. NUTTING, i22 Broadway, or Il II. MOOKE
mt
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

L,OR SALE AT A SACRIFICE--A FIRST GLASS
IL three story and basement brown stone House, per-
feet In every way, fully and handsomely furnished;
Brooklyn all improvements: lowest price, cash. $500;
mortgage $60U total Sl40u No. II Second street,
First place. NO bill
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

ITO LET-AT WEST MORRISANIA, IS MINUTES
from Grand Central depot we'll furnished Cottage
containing % rooms Gas bath, het and cold water fur
and fruits a;o stable and hennery desirable resi-
will sell or exchange for CITY Property. Apply to B. r.
BRITTON, 70 md 72 Worth street.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

A FURNISHED HOUSE IN FoRDHAM TO LET-BY
"A physician, who 81 board in the family; good
garden nnt and vegetables. attached also tarns nd
siat!es Apply 70 HuGH N. CAMP, lO6 Broadway or to
POTTER BkO IHERS. Eordham - 1. Il
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

DAPID Observation-Disclosures, TRAIyS-wHAT IS
~ needed by people ct moderate meansaFsre only
ture centre Of large shipping interests only 20 minutes
from hunters Point by excellent Flushing and North
wheels, heater foot warmer under each acat safety
night troubled less by fog than horse cars by
snow about hour from the City Hall by James slip
fourth street ferry nearer than Fort Washington or
Cty; more convenient than Harlem or cut in Brook.
lynn near to business SEVENTEEN street. and much
pleasanter trayel schools churches values steadily in
crcasing good society beautiful scenery riding, boat
streets severed, curbod g,ttered healthy; no more
chils and fever than in New York city on mechan
les trans only 81 cents the first railroad to supply
quick transit communication by othor trains s55 per an
valuation No riding straps nor liy-
ing In crowded tenements
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12

DLOTs-5OX9Oo FEET. NEAR FLUSHING AVENUE,
i running through from schenck to Steuben street,
Brookyn THIS L an excellent i9cat,9n TOR factory en-
tied rents low; cash price sl0OJ; exchange,
brokerage Address the owner. A. H. OSBORN, S51 Full
ton street. Brooklyn.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1874-04-12
NEW YORK HERALD SUNDAY APRIL r. 1a74-QuNrUrLE SHEET
PROPERTY OUT OF THE CITY FOR
SALE OR TO RENT.

A EAST NEW YORK-HOUSEs FOR THE PEOPLE
! "A very cheap. 500 down and balance monthly; will
double In value In i've years. Owner, i6I Broadway
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-10-31
A Negro wedding.

A bride and groom, answering to the
names of Andrew and Susy, were field
hands of unimpeachable Guinea blood,
and both had passed the first half-cen-
tury Of life. Their dress, however,
showed that they had not entirely es-
chewed the follies Of their youth, for,
though rude and cheap, as became their
condition, it was nevertheless embel-
lished with those bits Of gewgaws and
glaring finery of bright-colored ribbons
and ties in which the negro delights.
With the most decorous gravity the
preacher began .a.....-.
"Andre~, does you lub dis yer wo-
man2'
~ duz so," was the reply.
"Will you promise to stick close froo
time and 'tarnity, renouncing all others
an clabbing to her eber an eber, an
amen?"
81 will dat"
"WIll you lub, honor and hey"
"Hoid on dar, Old Jack" interrupt
ed the groom, with no little show of
Indignation I" faint no use talking to
dis niger bout begin de wimmen folks,
enney 'cept ole miss"
'Silence dar. you owdumptious mig
gerg' roared the wrathful preacher:
"what fur you go fur spiling de grabity
oh de 'casion. Dis yer's only matter OBJ
form, an inspensible to de 'caslon.
No don't you go fur to open your black
mouf until de time for you to speak.
Will you promise to lub, honor and hey
(Andrew still shaking his head omin-
ously at the obnoxious word) dis yer
niger Susy, furnishin' her wild all
needed for comfort an happiness an
protectln' from sugerin' an maxim
smoove depath of all her precedin' days
to comel'
81 suppose 1 mus say yes to dat"
said Andrew, meekly.
"Den / pronounce desc yer two
couples to be man an wife, an' whom
de Lord has joined togedder let no man
go fur to put dem asunder."
Here m uproar arose amopg the
blacks, betokening dilemma entirely
unforeseen by Old Jack. For, inasmuch
as he had forgotten to require the usual
vows Of Susy, they insisted that how
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-10-31
Don't-Please Don't.

Don't tell the little one, who may be
slightly willful, that "the black man
will come out of the dark cellar and
carry it off ifit does not mind" Don't
create needless fear to go with the
child through all the stages of its ex-
istence. N.f
Don't tell the little five year old jim
my "the school ma am will cut off his
ears" pull out his teeth'-"tie him
up"-or any of the horrible stories that
are commonly presented to the childish
imagination. Think you the little one
will believe anything you tell him after
he becomes acquainted with the gentle
teacher who has not the least idea of
putting those terrible threats into exc,
cution.
Don't tell the children they must not
drink tea because it will make them
black, while you continue the use Of it
daily. Your example is more to them
than precept; and while your face is as
fair as June morning they will scarce
ly credit the oft-told tale. Either give
up drinking the pleasant beverage or
give your children better reason for
its non-use.
Don't tell them they must not eat
sugar or sweetmeats, because it will rot
their teeth. Pure sugar does not cause
the teeth to decay; and sugar with fruit
is nutritious and healthy, notwithstand-
| ding the "Old 50 W" to the contrary.
The case of city children is often cited
as If the cause of their pale faces and
slight constitution were an over amount
Of sweetmeats with their diet, when the
actual cause is want of pure air and
proper exercise.
Don't tell the sick one that the medicine
is not bad to take, when you can hard
ly keep your own stomach from turning
"inside out'at the smell of it. Better
by far to tell him the simple truth, that
if is disagreeable, but necessary for his
health, and you desire him to take it at
once. Ten to one he will swallow 1t
with half the trouble of coaxing and
worry of words. and love you better for
your firm, decided manner.
Don't teach the children by example
to tell white lies to each other and to
their neighbors. Guard your lips and bri-
dleyour tongue II you desire to have the
coming generation truthful. Truthful
ness is one Of the foundation stones Of
heaven. Remember the old, old Book
says, "no liar" shall enter within the
gates of the beautiful city. There is no
distinction between white lies and those
of darker hue. The falsehood is an
untruth, whether the matter be great or
smail.-Rural New Yorker. ,. .
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-10-31
Showing the Boys I'm WashOe
how to shoot.

Recently, at saloon on the Divide,
some men were discussing the shooting
affray which occurred during the morn
ing between the two brothers-in-law.
Fallman and Ward. It was agreed on
all hands that It was shocking bad
shooting-a discredit to Washoe. At
last Phoebe man bantered Comstock
man, whom he knew to be a good
shot with a pistol, to go out in the back
yard with him and do some shooting,
just to show the "boys" how it should
be done. In the saloon was box of
eggs, and what the Piocher proposed
was that each shoot two eggs off the bare
head OF the other at the distance of ten
PAGES, the one missing to treat the crowd.
The Comstocker was bound not to be
bluffed by man from the other end Of
the State, so to the back yard all hands
adjourned. Each man used his own
six.shooter. The Comstock first "bus.
ted" his egg on the top.of the Piocher's
head, which exploit was loudly applau-
ded by all present. 1t was then the
Piocher's turn to shoot, and an egg was
produced to be placed upon the head of
the Comstocker, but when he removed
his hat there was q great laugh, for the
top of his head was as smooth as a bill
lard ball. For full ten minutes all
hands tried In vain to make an egg
stand on his head. 1t couldn't be done.
The Piocher than taunted the Com
stocker with having gone into the ar
rangement knowing that he was safe.
The latter told him to set up his egg and
1t was all right-he was there. The
Procher went into the saloon, and q
moment after came out with handful
of flour, which he dabbed upon the bald
head of the Comstocker, and then tri-
umphantly planted in it his egg, fell
back ten steps, and then knocked it of.
The Comstocker then told him to set up
his second egg and shot at it, as he
didn't want to have his head chalked
twice during the game. This was done,
and the wreck Of a second egg streamed
over the Comstocker's pate. The Pho
cher now stood out with his last egg on
his head. The Comstocker raised his
pistol. and fired. The Piocher bounded
yard into the air, and the egg bounced
whole from his head. "I've lostl" said
the Comstocker. ''Let all come and
take drink. By slip I've put bali
the width of my bullet through the top
of his left earl' and so it proved upon
measurement.-Virginia Enterprise.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-10-31

Returning, leave depot at Berks and American
Street, Phla., at 100, $50 and 945 a. M; 210
$40 and 5l5 p. m.
Fare from Lehighton to Philadelphia, s2.55.
Feb. l, 1874. Ellis CLALKK, Agent
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-10-31
Somebody wishes to know why the

Somebody wishes to know why the
dolls are all girls.
"A malicious person says that cot
ton sheets and newspapers are alike in
the respect that great many people
lie In them.
"A good natured spinster used to
boast that she always had two good
beaux; they were elbows.
Eli Love climbed tree to shake
out coon. The dog heard something
drop and went for it, but 1t was not the
coon. 1t was Eli.
A dairyman was awakened by a wag
one night, who told him his best cow
was choking. He jumped up at once,
went out, and found turnip stuck in
the mouth of the pump.
Jones says he always makes up his
mind regarding the value of horse by
the abundance, length and beauty of
his tail, for it's well-attested fact that
'all 8 we'll that ends WELL"
-Saysa wit, "Last year saw
watch spring, note run, a rope walk,
horse fly, and even the big tree
leave. even saw a plank walk, and
a Third Avenue bank run; but the
other day saw tree box, a cat fish,
and stone fence. am now prepared
TO see the Atlantic coast and Pacific
slope"
Summit Hill has tailor long known
for his keen, pungent wit. Not long
since q we'll known clergyman called at
his shop with pair of pantaloons, and
asked him if they could be repaired.
The knight of the shears unrolled them,
held them up in most artistic mapner,
carefully examined them, and replied,
"Yes, yes; the knees are the best part
of Them" The reverend gentleman
saw the joke, smiled blandly and grace
fully bowed himself out,