Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-08-08
THAT JOHNsONvILLE PRODIGY.
All About the Little Boy that Talked
as Soon as Born.

IDe WHO ana reckless banner, eager
for any sensation that weuld t-off the
Beecher-T ilton monstrosity, dispatch
ed double -barreled reporter with a
quart of Fabers s, and a ream of fools
cap, day before yesterday, to Johnson
vile, to interview the infant prodia(
born July IL, which began talking
soon as he was born. Appreciatfl
the scarcity of readers of great and
good newspapers in a community
which has so many takers who have
been talking all their lives and never
subscribing to newspaper, our re
porter's first question of the Johnson
vile prodigy was, whether he had read
the Banner before he was born?
With marvellous promptitude, the
little wonder opened his mouth and
spake with a singularly clear and mu-
steal intonation of voice. He said he
hadn't read the banner, but he d heard
of it before his birth, and intended to
subscribe to the Tri- Weekly as soon
as he was born.
The Reporter-Don't you regard it
as something remarkable that you
should be able to speak your mother
tongue before you have scarcely had
time to learn the sounds, much less
the meaning of words?
The Prodigy-Well, l don't know,
old cuss, but it is little strange, but
then you remember Col. Balaam's ass,
who had never spoken word in his
life, suddenly surprised the Colonel by
cussing him black and blue, in pretty
fair Hebrew, for walloping him with
hide for rufusing to run over a
heavily armed angel? Surely hui
man being just born ought to be able
to speak as well as a forty year old
jackass.
The Reporter - That's certainly
pretty hard to get over.
The Prodigy-Very true, and yet if
you yourself were to address me in
Hebrew it would be no more matter
of astonishmeut than to BALKAN from
the other jackass.
The Reporter-Young man, you are
personal.
The Prodigy-Bet you two dollars
and half l amt. If you take the
bet you confess yourself a jackass.
The Reporter-Well, well, let's
change the subject Could you tell
me if you ever heard anything about
Hobbs?
The Prodigy-Oh Lord d? Oh Gem
mini Well, that's too good. Ever
heard of H. On my oh, get
out. Ha ha! ha he +! he he! Here
the prodigy rolled over and over in his
mothers lap, and disarranged his bel
ly-band and showed his heel into
his mothers spectacles in an in
comfortable paroxysm of mirth.
"Oh, cracky! oh J.! oh p he screamed
as soon as he could get breath. Ever
hear of Hobb? Ho! hoi no ha /
ha hal He !! he he
The Raporter-HeI hel He
The Prodigy-D-d funny, amt it ?
But didn't Hobbs play it fine?
The Reporter-You bet But tell
me, if you could really hear before
you were born. inasmuch as you said
you had often heard of the Banner?
The Prodigy-Oh, yes. A few
weeks before this humble individual
crawled into existence, a couple of
old grannies were talking here in this
very room One of them said to the
other: Mrs. Jones, it'll be a GAL
S'ho as you born, ma dam, it be gal.
Seven boys, now come last July, and
nary gal-yes, Mrs. Jones, it'll be
gal" Mrs. Jones remarked with some
asperity that she knew it would be
boy. Never mis-guessed on them
pints, in her life. Knew it wouldn't
be boy-ielt it in her bones" Mrs.
Smith shut the Jones up right sharply
with the quick response that it was
bound to be GAL" So confident she
was, that she would bet two dollars
and seventy-fve cents on the rusult,
and go it blind"
The Reporter-Well, did you not
wish you were able to enlighten them
The Prodigy-Never was so distress
ed in my life. | did so want to get to
that conceited old humbug and raise
that blind, and go the old hurricane
two and halt better, | didn't know
what to do. | only wished Watterson
had been there, he could have seen
that bet as sure as gun. He's such
an uncOnscisonable cuss for standing
raise when he knows he has dead
thing.
The Reporter-How about the third
term?
The Prodigy-It will never be. Let
me sea third term would be three's
But Grant amt duces in a full deck.
He's played the full strength of his
hand run two deals, and will have to
go out on bobtail. Overlooked his
hand on that District of Columbia
matter. Let's drink. What'll you
have Hera the iptarviaw ended -