davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
PHUNNYGRAMS.

"A smart Danbury woman does the
work for a family of nine, milks two COWS,
and keeps track of thirteen continued
stories.
The amount of time that may be
wasted on trifles cannot perhaps, be re-
called under more eXasperating circum-
stances than in struggle with a greasy
china door knob
:" If this jury conYicts my client"
said Western lawyer, rolling up his
sleeves and displaying his ponderous
fists, 81 shall feel compelled to meet each
one and hammer Justice into his soul
through his head" Verdict of not guilty.
=" The days are growing longer" OBJ
served Mr.. SPiggs to his family, Friday
morning. Eyes, have noticed it." in
terrupted his aunt "They are half a
minute longer" added Mr.. Spiggs, in the
same tone of voice. AS no reply was
needed to this the aunt made none
Da'abuay Neo0s.
:" Who's there?" said Jenkins, one
cold winter winter night, disturbed in his
repose by some one knocking at the street
door. "a friend" was the answer.
S'What do you want 2" want to stay
here all night" "Queer taste-stay
there by all MEANS" was the benevolent
reply.
The other day, at concert, a gentle
man having put his hat upon a chair to
keep place, returned to claim it after a
short absence. The hat he found, sure
enough, where it had been left, only there
was a stout lady sitting on it. Madam"
said he, ''you are sitting on my hat"
The lady blushed little, turned round,
and said in the blandest manner: ooh,
beg pardonl Pm sure 1 thought it was
my husbands"
"A witty Cincinnati lady, writing
from Washington, says: "BostOn draws
herself up severely scans your cerebral
developments through her glass, and
coolly asks: What do you know?' New
York displays her silks and diamonds,
and pertly asks: What are you wOrth?'
Philadelphia, with prim hands and
pursed-up lips, asks: Who was your
grandfather?' While Washington steps
between the waltz and the German to in
quire: Can you dancer"
81 don't believe much in the Bible,n
said collegian to an old Quaker. "Does
thee believe in France?" "Yes, | do. |
never saw it, but have plenty of proof
that there is such country" Then thee
does not believe anything unless thee or
thy reliable friends have seen it?" ''No,
be sure won't" did thee ever see thy
own brains?" "No." "Did thee ever
know anybody that has seen thy brains 90
"No." 'Does thee believe thee has any
brains?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

inviolability of his anaya. In giving
it he engages not only his own personal
honor, but also that of his relatives,
his friends, his village, and, in fact, the
tribe to which he belongs. A man who
would not be able to find friend to aid
him in avenging himself for personal
insult, could cause the entire population
of his village to rise if it were question
of his Gnaya being disrespected. 1t is
extremely rare that that ever happens,
but tradition has, nevertheless, preserved
to posterity a memorable example of it.
AS the story runs, friend OF a Zouaoui
presented himself one day at his house
and asked for the anaya. In the masters
absence, the wife, who was rather embar-
raised, gave the fugitive dog which was
well known in that part of the country.
Shortly after he had left, the dog, covered
with blood, returned alone The inhabi-
tants of the village assembled, and, fol-
lowing the traces Of the animal, discover
ed the travellers body They declared
war upon the tribe upon whose territory
the crime had been committed. A great
deal Of blood was shed, and the village
which was compromised in the quarrel
bears even to this day the name of Dach-
eret-el- Kelba, ''the village of the dog.
GeptGenaa71'S Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
The Elephant in DOmesticity.

a WRITER in the London Saturday Re
UielC says: "Jn India the possession of an
elephant or two is by no means confined
to royal or princely families. Land
holders and English gentlemen engaged
in commercial or agricultural pursuits in
the interior of the country, find such an
animal well worth his keep in many
ways It brings in the collections of rent
from an out-station to headquarters. 1t
takes important letters or supplies right
across the country. 1t will carry half a
dozen servants, with bed, baggage and
cooking apparatus to any place where
these adiunctS or necessaries cannot be
relied on. It enables the native agents of
a factory to travel about with security
against accidents or robbery. Where
roads nave not been constructed, or are
impossible for vehicles during the rainy
season, the elephant is equal to any emer-
gency. To swim rivers, to skirt or wade
through swamps, to step cleverly over
fences, to fray a path through reeds, to
break down forest trees firmly connected
by long, trailing creepers, is a compar-
atively easy task to this sagacious, pow
erful and obedient servant. 1t is true that
three or four miles an hour is the average
rate OF progress, and that it is hardly fair
to exact of an animal more than fifteen
or twenty miles of march in the
dav. It must be admitted, too, that prac-
tice is necessary to aCcustom the traveller
to the motion, and that the PAGES of all
elephants are not the san4e. Some are so
smooth as almost to invite Slumber; on
others the unlucky occupant of the cush-
ion rolls about Is at sea, and arrives at
his journeys end with sore pains IN all
his joints. But the docility of the beast
and the security of this mode of convey
ance are, where rapidity of communica-
ton is not essential, of the very greatest
convenience to residents in the plains.
The owner of an elephant has, besides, a
far greater guaranty for responsibility
than the owner Of a gig. 1t is not to be
imagined, however, that elephants cost
nothing, or can prosper without care and
attendance. A prudent person will guard
his elephant from the deluge of a tropical
rain, and to this end high-roofed barn
must be constructed, with open sides large
enough to admit something of the size of
an ordinary haystack. Then the bath is
as Indispensable to the elephant as it was
TO an old Roman, or good breakfast to
the iuryman of Dickens; and after a
daily plunge and swim, during which
nothing is seen of the animal but the tip
of his trunk. it lies down on its side at a
SIGNAL from the driver, and sub
mits to be oiled, cleaned, and
brushed, while thorns or foreign
substances are extracted from the toes.
When these operations are concluded, a
chain is fastened around one hInd leg,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
Some Facts in Undertaking.

Mr.. John Johnson, now in his eighty
third wear, is the great father of un-
derdraining In this country He had
rather wet piece of ground at Geneva,
New York, and after reading what had
been done in England, determined to try
for himself in this country, what good it
would do There were no tiles made in
America, SO ne had to send to Europe for
them. This was in in 1885. In 1888 he
induced some American to make them
In recent New York Tribune, Mr.. John
son gives his latest opinions, derived
from continuous observation He saws.
in regard to the depth at which drains
should be laid, that there is no rule.
They have to 90 below the hard pan, how
ever deep that may be. He has no drains
on his farm but two-and-a-half feet deep.
and they act just as we'll as some would
at four feet The range is generally from
two-and-a-half to four feet.
In undertaking, it is the practice to
make q main drain, somewhere where
there is a good fall, and then the lateral
drains are led into this one. There has
been some dispute as to how large the
main drains should be For instance if
there is one main of four inches in diam
eter and q dozen smaller Ones-say two
inches lead into it, people are apt to cal
Culate that there is the combined bores of
the dozen-say twenty four inches-to
discharge into the four inches, and are
apt to argue that this cannot operate; but
Mr.. johnson has twenty-five of these two
inch drains running into one four-inch
main, and he finds that the water goes
through just as well as if the main were
larger. For Il time he could not understand
this, but at last he found the pressure of so
much water behind increased the velocity
of the water passing through the main.
It made up in velocity what the pipe was
short Of in bulk. This principle is wei
known to everybody when once it is sug-
gested, and yet it is fact people are very
liable to forget when engaged in under
draining operations.
As to what land il is profitable to I'm
derdrain, this is a subject which, like the
depth Of drains, depends altogether on
circumstances. If good farm land can
be had in the vicinity for say $50 per
acre, it is very doubtful whether it will
pay to spend $50 per acre in underdrain-
ing it, 1t would be more profitable TO
sell the wet land which needed draining,
and buy other lands that did not. Again,
where water does not remain very near
the surface, but sinks soon after each rain
ten feet or more, undertaking will add
very little more to the value. There are
many parts of the country where water
stands for months but a few feet from the
surface, an account of solid clay deposit
known as hard pan, and in such cases it
viii pay, in oil probability, to underdrain
ones land Mr. Johnson made it pay
handsomely. Many have followed his
example injUdiciously, and have had no
benefit which would compensate for the
capital involved. In some cases there is
great beneft-at the same time there is
no department of improved agriculture
that requires one to move SO thoughtfully
as in undertaking OperatiOns.-F0rney's
lVeekll Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
Care of House Plants in Cold Weather.

HOUSE plants require vast amount of
care every day and from week to week
They need especially to be guarded
against exposure to sudden changes of
temperature. Where a number of pots
with flowers are placed near window,
during cold or cloudy day, unless the
temperature of the apartment is properly
maintained the flowers will be seriously
injured by the cold. In cold day, unless
the sun shines brightly on the flowers, or
at night, unless the batten shutters of the
window are closed, no colder place can
be found in the apartment than close to a
large window. Many florists seem to for
get their flowers during cold nights, leav-
ing them near the window, where they
are liable to become severely chilled. The
best place for flowers during a cold day
or night is on high table near the mid
die of a large room. The higher the
table the better for the flowers. For this
purpose large table on casters should
be provided, 50 that portion or all the
pots can readily be rolled to the middle
of the apartment. All plants are invigor-
ated and rendered IL ore luXuriant by eX-
posture to the full influences of the noon
day sun. Yet, on cloudy and windy days,
it will be quite as well to keep them near
the center of the room, away from a cold
window. If any one doubts that foot or
two from a window is the coolest place
in the room, let him place thermometer
a few inches from the glass for half an
hour and then transfer it to the middle of
the room, and he will perceive that the
instrument will indicate a marked varia-
ton of temperature. Plants in pots are
frequently placed outside of window
during a cold yet sunshiny day. But
such exposure Injuries the stems and
leaves far more than we are wont to sup
pose.-N. 7. Herald
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

and made secure to post or tree, and the
remainder of the day is passed by the ele-
plant in obliterating the traces of the
bath by showers of dust, or driving the
flies away with leafy branch. The food
generally consists or several pounds of
coarse rice, the stem Of a plaintain tree
and whole cart load of tender branches
recently cut. To procure this latter sup
ply is the daily duty of one Of the attend
ants, who, in Indian phraseology, is termed
"a mate, the title of Mahout being re-
served for the head keeper Not every
kinu of leaf is palatable, and whole tracts
of country covered with forest trees are
absolutely useless for the feeding of ele-
plants. When on a march, or in the
jungles, elephants will endeavor to feed
all day, and will snatch at anything edi-
ble Those who are now grooming over
the price of coal will hardly be consoled
by the knowledge that the price of an
elephants keep has almost doubled in the
last quarter of century. Formerly, in
the Gangetti Delta an elephant, with its
two attendants, cost little more than 60 a
month. The amount is now fully double,
and in other and drier parts of India,
where forage is scarce, it reaches the high
figure of Go or 81"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
SOup-Ma

THERE is no way in which the comforta-
BILE abundance of table may be better
insured, while at the same time a strict
eye is kept upon economical expenditure
of means, than by an almost daily addi-
ton Of soup to the family dinner. It is
only when concocted by an Indifferent
cook that soup deserves the contemptuous
sobriquet of "slops," so often applied to it.
1t is surprising from what scanty al
lotment of material dainty dish of soup
may be supplied Let roast of beef be
consumed to the very bone, turkey or
pair of fowls deprived of every joint, yet
if the carcass is put away, it furnishes at
once the needed basis. The French
understand this to perfection, and we read
that in Partisan kitchens a closed vessel,
containing ''potage," is ever at the fire.
place, awaiting any and every cOntribu-
ton the skillful grisette anon supplies
from the surplus of other dishes in pro-
cess of preparation.
In the first place, observe always to lay
your meat in the bottom of the pan or
pot, cutting the meat up, or if a bone,
cracking it well. A lump of butter adds
richness, but is not necessary. Select
such herbs and vegetables as you prefer
cut them up very small and lay over the
meat, with a very little water and a eau
tiousl " small piece of salt. Cover the
vessel with close-fitting lid and set it by
a slow fire; this will draw out all the vir-
tue of herbs and roots, giving the soup
different flavor from what is impaired by
putting the full quantity of water IN at
first. Turn the meat frequently. When
the gravy produced is almost dried up,
fill your pot with a sufficient quantity of
water to make soup enough for your
family. To a large shank-bone of beef
three quarts or even one gallon is not too
much to allow.
When your soup is done take it off the
fire to cool, and skim thoroughly from
grease. Put it on again and be sure not
to dish it up unless boiling hot. Be care
full to add salt and other high-favored
condiments sparingly; every table is sup
piled with salt-cellar and castors, so that
a deficiency in these respects may be
easily rectifed; not so an over quantity,
If other thickening than the vegetables
used is deemed advisable, brown the flour
for all soups save chicken, veal and oyster
soup.-Wester71 Rural.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

"A young lady, the daughter of rich
petroleum operator, before returning
from boarding-shool, had party given
for her benefit. Upon the bottom of the
scribed, ar. S.V. p" and one was sent to
young man who had also made his
money by boring. He did not come, but
sent a card with the letters, I'D. S. G. ~"
Meeting him in the street, she asked him
what the letters meant. TELL me first
what yours meant" ooh, mine was
French for Respond, if you please -"
"Well, mine was English for Darned
sorry can't come"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

THE Cedar Falls Recorder reports hav-
ing found the meanest man. The chap
donated pair of worn-out summer pants
to the homesteaders, but took out the
pockets and ripped the Buttons off before
parting with them.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

Now is the time for good resolutions.
so resolve that hereafter you will always
look well by wearing the FL wood or
Warwick collar
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

SAMPLES FREE.-The Saturday Eosainq
Post, 319 Walnut ST., Philadelphia, gives a
beautiful Chrome or large Steel Engraving
to every yearly subscriber. Samples free.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

WHEN storm is approaching we see
lightning but do not hear thunder, be-
cause there is limit to appreciation of
sound by the human ear, while there Is
none whatever to light to the human eye.
Sound will travel a mile in six seconds,
while light will travel 1879, miles in a
second. No one ever heard thunder with
out seeing the lightning that caused it,
unless some object, like a mountain, for
instance, interviewed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

THE men who do the most for their
kind are generally forgotten in giving
out rewards.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
EMPLOYMENT
FOR
ALL.

= Trsfclass Family and Religious Journal. From
s,1n 70 fO easily made. Each subscriber receives
5reuiuf worth more than the subscription price, Our
Ppe[- eiegant Chrome, Memories of Childhood" size
fTv now ready for delivery We want special agents
for every town. For terms and list of Premiums ad.
dress II. C. BOWEN, 3 Park Place, New York.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22
Skin Diseases.

ACNE Pinpes-Blackheads) Symptoms Hard.
Sna!i pimples, with black points, most numerous on
the cheeks, forehead and nose.
,PRuRTGo Qntense Itching), which begins when the
clothng is removed: increased by the WaTth OF Lae
ing.
The above and all ski Diseases perman emily cured
Entire cost of treatment 81 80 per WeeK or - " per
month. Address, DR.. j. ~: SANDI hh,
1126 walnut Street, Philadelphia, Penna.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-22

NJ ]. !.
Tl One package of Prof. Halls Magic Com
ri ipound will force whskers to grow thick
"a @ and heavy on the snoothest face with
R@Hout injury in 81 days, or money refund
UEiVkEed. % cts. a package, postpaid, or for
NIH ~ 80 cts. One application of my Hair
ME VI CurleT' will curl the hair of either sex
A1 u beautifully. Satisfaction guaranteed.
@ III f. . cents q package, postpaid; for 50
lz<17 cents.
f. w. JONES. Ashland, Mass.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-02

THE HOME Iron TRADE.-The con-
ditlon of the American iron trade
does not improve; indeed, it is rather
worse than it was Our market quo
tations will show that the price of
pig iron at Pittsburgh and else
where is too low to be profitable.
Such sales as are effected are un-
doubtedly made because furnacemen
must have money. In rails there is
no movement of any significance.
The railroads are still holding out
for lower figures, but railmakers IN
sist that they cannot take less than
$50, and some makers will not make
rails at this price. The Cambria
Iron Works, the largest of their kind
in the country, are standing idle for
the want of orders. Scarcely rail
mill in the country is running full
time. Meanwhile so insufficient is
our Tariff to meet the demands of
the crisis, we imported from Great
Britain, in the months of January
and February, 86s tons of bar iron,
lO,2O5 tons of pig iron, and l6, ,978
tons Of railroad iron. Welsh rails
were offered in New York last week
at $50. Will Congress ever awake
to the realization of the distress
which now prostrates the leading
manufacturing industry of the coun-
try ?-BuLLetin Iron and Steel AssO-
cidtSOn.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-02

The Ono FIsHING LAw.-As the
spring fishing is Just commencing it
is well for all to know that it is not
lawful for any person or persons to
shoot fish, or put in or keep up, draw
or use any fish net, seine or pound
for the purpose of catching fish in any
of the rivers, creeks or streams with
in this State at any point or place
above the common level, at high OF
back water, of Lake Erie and the
Ohio River, or in the waters and
lake, pond or reservoir. The. only
net that can be used lawfully is the
dip net or any net not exceeding ten
feet in length, used for the purpose
of catching minnows. The penalty
for violation of this law may be a
fine from $40 to $50 or thirty days
imprisonment in Jail.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-02

Gases disposed of at April. Term, 1874
Term commenced April 20 and con-
tinued during tile week.
D. Waite ct al VS.. J. Ruland.-Petitiop
dismissed
IF. Burke vs.. R. Spring.-Judgment
Of Common Pleas affirmed.
A. n Slater vs.. L. B. French R Co
Error of 1880 remittcd and judgment
affirmed as 10 balancr.
U.A. Root vs.. j. A. ROot-Land De.
creed TO Plaintiff. Amount due TO DE-.
fendant $53119.
P; S. Sweet vs. j. s. Fuller.-Drcree
for Plaintiff.
Chauncy Sharp VS.. J. S. Fuller.-De-
cree tor Plaintiff.
Miles Dormnn VS. G. w. Stines De.
cree for Plaintiff Defendant excepted.
:. d. Burlin VS.. Gage & Gage.-set-
Tassa HinkIe VS.. Charles Brown
Part OF eVid nee heard and Continued
II e'ahhope's Will case. Findin,,
ano Decree 9, substantially the same as in
D. Young vs.. L. S. Railway.-Con.
c. D. Rockwell vs.. Lyman web.,or
AOuAluuN0s
The case Of Ur A. Root against Jo
seph A. Root, which was determined in
our District Court last week proved
quite exciting and Interesting. The
Plaintiff brought the action 10 recover
the title 10 a farm situated near the vii
Isge Of An1Over, which he claimed haC
been wrODEiully obtained rom him about
fifteen years ago. Many Witnesses were
PRESENT and the case was closely contested
Messrs. H1rthwAy, and Aingrr. and Chat
fee and Ruggles, appeared on brhaif OF
the Plaintiff, and Mrssrs. Simonds and
Wade. assist d 10y Mr.. Crtchfield, of Cleve
land, for the Defendant who is a brother
Of the PlAintiR
The Court finally decreed the land to
the Plaintiff and thereby saved an un.
Fortunate old man from being turned on
into the world poor aud friendless.
TIE vote to pass the Financial bill over
the Presidents veto, stood "a to 3O-lesG
sRaR sgpsRiIE sad . fsIIuFs H U9uVA
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-02

The Duchess of Edinburgh, for
merly the Princess Marie Alexan-
drowna, already finds that the gran
deur of her reception in England has
faded quite away, and she is now rec
oegnized only as a Princess in Eng
land, a very different parsonage FROM
a Princess in Russia. She doesn't
like the change. Marie Alexan-
drowna is not the only woman who
has been differently regarded before
marriage, and after marriage.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-05-02

Both Houses of Congress gave
nearly all of Monday to the hearing
of eulogies on the late Charles Sum-
ner. Mr.. Lamar, of Mississippi,
made the speech of the day. He re-
viewed the career of the dead Sena-
tor in the highest terms of praise,
and closed with an earnest appeal
for the drawing together in brother
" love of the North and the South.
Such an address from a person OF
Mr.. Lamar's antecedents was wholly
unexpected; it is among the few gra-
cious references to the old order of
things that have come from former
supporters of the Confedracy.