The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1874-02-28
About WidOaCeTs and WidOtUS--A
GrOaUJ from q Crusty Bachelor.

A crusty old rooster of bachelor, disap-
pointed in love, no doubt, tells this story:
They wear weeds upon their tmeworn hats.
They are easily distinguished from other men
by reason of their subdued and solemn air, and
their tender consideration for sweet young girls
of sixteen or thereabouts.
They are usually quite anxious TO marry
again, and are seldom unsuccessful in their va
rious matrimonial endeavors. They know ow
tohandle woman they understand her whims
and caprices; they are posted with regard to
the exact location Of the vulnerable corner in
her heart and they besiege this tender spot 80
assiduously that they rarely fail to effect con-
quest.
Widows are particularly fond Of widowers.
They even prefer second-rate one to first
class bachelor. l can account for this upon no
other theory than that they find it a laborious
and difficult undertaking to instruct the unini-
tiated bachelors in the Mysterious arts and rudi-
ments of hooking their dresses and performing
those other necessary and essential acts and
duties appertaining and belonging to house
hold economy and domestic felicity, while a
widower, from long previous practical expert
ence, can Immediately attend to the satisfac-
tory performance of these things, without a
long course of severe mental discipline or ply
sical training.
l know young widow myself. She is a tall,
nified in her demeanor, pleasant in her man
ners, cheerful in her conversation and stylish
in her attire. She has pearly teeth, red lips, q
pair of tender, bewildering eyes and high, in
tellectual forehead, surmounted by a wealth of
waving hair. Her hands are short. small, and
slender, and she possesses as provokingly pref
ty pair of little feet as ever peeped out from
under the folds of dark dress. The other
night we happened, somehow, to be together.
We sat side by side in the front parlor, having
a confidential chat all by ourselves. The house
was SO still that we could hear the very crawl
ing of tn cockroaches in the partition. man
aged, by much maneuverng, to get hold OF
that white, soft, small and slender hand of hers,
and said in my tenderest tone:
"Mrs Brown, do you intend to marry again p
"Sho," said she, how you do talk"
"But do you, now really?"
"Perhaps," she replied archly. "If lean on
ly persuade some rich and handsome widower
to have me. | wouldn't think of marrying any
other kind of q man. I'd sooner take in washing
l am bachelor. I havn't mentioned the
subject of matrimony since. l made up mind
that in her regard was not unlike many OF
the manuscripts my publishers return to me
marked "not exactly available"
So it is with the widowers everywhere. No
matter how homely they are, or how sanctimo-
NOUS and melancholy they seem, they have the
very best of everything, and all they want Of
it. They can sleep serenely while some tender
woman mends their garments, and darns their
tattered socks, and the lone bachelor transfixes
his thumbs (his fingers are all thumbs) in fu-
tile endeavors to make his wardrobe presenta-
BILE. widower has only to look at a woman
and hint proposal and he is accepted without
word of protest, murmur or sigh.
know an old widower who is now living
with his fourth wife, most lovely and esti-
mable woman, who is nearly gone with the
quick consumption and know Of dozen fas-
cinating females who are alarmingly profuse
the matter Of his prospective bereavement.
trust they are prompted in their words of pity
by motives Of pure philanthrophy. These
dfsinterested women will be great comfort to
] him, poor man, when she is gone.