Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-08-27
About BOarding-HOuses.

HAv lived in board;n-houses sum; 1
may say long enuff to decide that most
nv them are the most cherries ana un-
friendly places on earth.
The alms-hous, or the hospittel, IL
more lively spot to liv than the average
bOardin-hous.
Thare IL 2 kinds ov boarding-hous
keepers more prominent In the trade IMAM
emmy other.
One IL the hack in the bizzness, a
woman ov forty-five or fifty years ov age,
and never gifts emmy older, who wears an
alpacka dress as slippery and shiny az
niece of patient leather, and one VINO
can bio butcher klean out ov hiZ stall,
or lift the skalp oph from the head ov
one ov her Bridgets whenever she gifts
her steam to working
She keeps a boardin-house from force
ov habit, and changes her lokashun every
year to beat the cockroches.
Her hous liz furnished from top to bot
tom with shabby furniture that waz once
genteel, which she haz gathered from
thousand auckshion sales, which IL the
only place she visits except the meat and
vegetable markets.
In addition TO the few familys who &C.
cupv her best rooms, she generally haz
Oh Hduu uH Oiu DdIilCloi VI WV "" N''N
premises who hav lived with her from
two to five years, alwuss In arrears Tor at
least six months board.
Everything on the table and about the
hous, including attendance, liz meazured
out with the remorseless stint ov mizer,
and the whole thing runs dry and squeak
ing, like the axles ov wagon that wants
tar.
There IL not one solitary, genuine
comfort in the concern, and men ana
wimmin liv year after year in theze asy-
lums cursing them every day, and with
out the moral force 10 desert them or In
sist upon their rights.
The other style ov boardin- hous keeper
liz the one who haz adopted the elegant
profeshun from necessity, to piece out
decayed fortune, and to enable her to liv
in a fashionable naborhood in semi
fashionable manner.
She givs yu to understand that yu are
admitted upon her premises az an akt ov
grace on her part, and az long az yu live
thare WI will be at loss to determine
whether yu are looked upon az an lntru-
der or not.
All ov these kind ov retreats are run
entirely in the interest and for the cum
fort ov the landlady and her decayed
family.
hay lived in both ov theze kind ov
hash conservitorys, and kant tell which
liz the most Uncomfortable.
Thare are few amung the list ov
boarding houses that are a plezant excep-
shun to the two abuv kinds, WHARF thare
IL refinement and good sense enuff in the
management to make them resemble a
home.
But the idea ov h0nae for their guests
never enters the head ov the average
boardin-hous keeper
To run the house az cheap az Sunday
skool, and git the highest rate ov pay
promptly, IL the genius ov theze institu-
shuns
waz told bi a yung bachelor once,
who had lived from necessity all hiz life
ia one ov theze seckund-rate vittualling
stands, changing hiz quarters regularly
three times year in hopes ov improving
hiz appetight, that he knue ov one land
lady who kept "A party oy four yung
fellows in her hous two months longer
than they wanted to stay, by putting a
ten cent stamp in her hash every
morning
She had larnt this distribushun dodge
from the sharp tobbaconist ov the day.
don't believe the yarn the yung man
told NE about the stamps, but the story
IL too good not to go onto reckord.--Josh
Billings.