The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-01-15

An Irish glazier was putting q pane
OF glass iItO q window, when q groom
who was standing by began joking
him, telling him to mind and put in
plenty Of putty. The IrishmAn bore
the banter for some time, but At last
silenced his tormenter with "Arrah,
now, be off wild ye, or else I'll put 3
pane in yer head without any putty"
A Troy editor took his wife to New
York, Friday. The conductor when
he came along recognized our Troy
not knowing the lady, whispered TO
him, 'Is this lady friend OF yours ?''
''NO, no." said the Troy editor in
haste, "she Is my wife"
"a tinker's dam" is not profanity,
but simply an enclosure made COM
monty OF bread around the hole to be
mended, that the melted solder may
be retained till It cools OF around the
bread. After being subjected to this
process, the bread is burned and spoil
ed, and 1t is fitting type Of utter use
lessness.
A Nevada paper says, "Tbe many
friends Of Bill Thompson will regret
to hear that he was hsshed up by 3
catAmount the other dSy IN NixOn's 3
Hill, while laying in walt to shoot q
Chinaman. This was always a world
Of disappointment.
At the Elgin Watch Mandatory,
/ in Illinois, they are said 10 be az
work on q patent watch which will
hands so adjusted as tO seize the
WeaTer by the coat collar every even
ing about ten O'Clock aud walk him
| of home.
I A Scotch church having bought an
automatic organ, there being no or
ganist to be found near, started 1t on
the tune Of Dundee on Sunday. The
clerk being unable to stop it when it
was set sgOlng, it played that cheer
full tune just eighty times before it
stopped.
A youth vino was taking an airing
in the county, tried TO amuse himself
bv QuizzinR au old farmer about his
! bald head, but was extinguished by
( the old gentleman, who solemnIy re-
Z marked "YOung man, when my
head gets as soft as yours, can raise
hair 10 sell" :"
The power Of love receives q strik-
/ ing illustration in the case Of the Mil
waukee girl, who knocked her lover
heels over head down . fight Of stairs
because ne waited to stop kissing
long enough to get a good, long
| breath.
SeOlding female tic Husband No. p
-"Oh, il you only knew the differ
ence between you, wretch and my
first husband :" Husband-''I do
know the difference. He is happy
now that he has left you, ami l was
happy before got you"
mike will you come in and take q
drink ?'' Mike looked at the man for
the space Of half 3 minute, and then
rolling his eyes upwards, very softly
said, "thot it was an angel shpakiDg
10 me-"
What relation is loaf Of bread to q
locomotive Irs mother. Why 2
Because bread Is q necessity and 10.
eomotive an invention, snd We sll
know that necessity is the mother OF
invention.
A school examiner lately gave q
bright boy this sentence 10 correct:
"Bstween you and l this Is good bat.
ter.n The boy shortly returned the
ain thus marked: .Incorreet the
lamp post Is omitted"
At recent Sabbath school concert
a little boy stood mp to say his "piece,"
and forgetting the words Of the text,
hesitated 3 moment, then with all the
assurance possible, said: blessed
are the shoemaker"
What is the greatest feat IN the eat
ing way ever known? That recorded
OF . man who commenced by boltng
q door, after which be threw up .
window, and thai sat down ana
swallowed q whole story
Georgia Grangers, at their recent
convention in Atlantis, in view OF Inc
low prices paid for cotton this season,
resolved TO plant, the coming season,
lonIy one-half the usual amount