Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1874-08-20

tlS Soths - cANessNN Wv
is just s..
At Cape May the young women
eat liquorice and the young men feel
liquorice.
Jones says that why he isn't mar
ried is because that when he wooed
she wouldn't.
A New York journal announces
the departure for Europe Of Tennie
G.. Clafin, now Mrs John Green.
In Brooklyn the authorities "seile
the unripe fruit" The policemen
eat it, and the childrsn are saved.
All the boys born in Massachusetts
this year have been called Charles
Summer, without distinction of color.
A modern proverb: The man
who does not hang out his shingle
and advertise dies and leaves no sign.
It is easier for camel to skip
through the eye of needle than
for a "nest hider' to walk into heav-
en-.
Ex.Presi3ent Thiers is seriously i'll.
The venerable French statesman has
passed the seventy-eighth year OF his
age
wf I should die, dear where would
you go?" Go? Go after your insu-
rance money" was the reply of a foni
wife.
Memorandum for young ladies:
An Iowa court holds that promise
to marry must be in writing in order
to bind.
Apples are quoted at one dollar
and ten cents a quart in Boston; ten
cents for the apples and one dollar
for the doctor.
The French smoke at the same
time they take their surf bath, and
their latest wrinkle is a pocket in the
bathing dress, to carry matches III
Let us remember that neither re
licion, sects nor virtue are touched
by the scandal and infirmities IN
volved in the Brooklyn exposition.
An old lady in New hampshire,
1O5 years old, is said to have recent
" had a molar extracted with the
hopes of getting id Of the toothaehe.
An lows Pres byterian went to n
horse race recently "to irown tho
thing down. and now the brethren
have had meeting and Grown him
out Of the church.
The assessment Of real estate in
New York City is higher than ever
before, having reached almost eight
hundred and eighty-two millions. an
increase of ten per cent III two years.
A California Temperance Ass0cia-
ton limits the beverages of its mem
bers to wine, beer and cider, except
when labOring under n sense oi dis-
enlargement, and then whisky shall
be- allowed"
A young lady came to the city the
other day to have her picture taken.
When the artist showed her the
"proor ard asked her how she liked
it, she placidly remarked that he
put too darn much mouth on IL To
suit her.
4 benevolent physician in Laporto
County, Ind. gave "A picnic to seven
hundred children, not even such deli
cacies a. cake, strawberries and ico
cream being omitted. He got back
his outlay in colics, however, before
the week was over.
A wicked little boy In q Denver
Sunday School was asked by hIs
teacher if he had learned anything
during the past week. 80, yes,
said he. "What is ityou have learn
ed" Never to lead Il deuce when
you've, got n ace back Of it, was the
reply.
A dispatch from La Crosse states
that Minnesota is overrun with har-
vesters unable to get employment
One steamer brought 400, and every
vessel adds to the number. They
swarm from the cities TO the country,
and. failing to procure work, robani
steal.
A family named White, consisting
of husband. wife and six children,
have been discovered, living near
Pope's Park, Fast New York, in
complete state Of nudity. having
nothing to cover themselves with,
save few pieces Of old carpet. They
have been sent to the Almsholise.
A Hartford man was drowned, and
friends brought home the dead body
to his afflicted wife. AS they came
to the front door with the corpse the
new-made widow appeared and sadly
remarked: IL guess you had better
take hin around to the back door.
80 he won't drip on the parlor carpets.
A Kentucky man while drunk or.
dered his wife ~ take hammer and
nail and knock his teeth out. With
that meekness of spirit and obedience
which characterizes her sex, that lov-
ing wife obeyed the orders Of her lord.
When he got sober his swearing
didn't count, becIuse he munbled So
| 1t could not be understood.
Preparations are in progress at the
Springfield, Mass, Armoiy ior t"c
manufacture Of number of the ne"
runs patented by James Lee, of Mli-
waukee, Wis, in accordance with the
instructions accompanying the appro-
/ t;,.;, of xfD Dtbn far cYDerlmeuL.