The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-04-24

OvER-TRUE REPoRTING.-Last
summer, at one of our watering
places, a boat was upset with sew
eral people on board, but, help ar
irving, every body reached shore
in safety. A country paper latter
giving the details, winds up its
description thus: Thanks to
the zeal and activity displayed by
the boatmen, nobody was lost.
Indeed, one woman more was
saved than had been in the boat"
A well-dressed, matronly-look-
ing lady walked into a saloon in
Oswego the other day, laid her
muff on the counter and took out
a pair OF spectacles, when the bar
tender promptly informed her
that no Bible-reading would be in
order there. Reaching down in
to her dress pocket, the woman
produced a fat bottle and coolly
called for a pint of whisky. She
doesn't know yet what that bar
| tender was alarmed about.
"First he is a trifie sprung;
then drunk as q fool; then drunk
as a boiled owl, and by this time
he is half-seas over, and things
begin to double up. From this
point on the descent is rapid.
He grows drunk as blazes; then
drunk as a fiddler; then full as q
tick; then blind drunk; then
drunk as lord; and finally dead
drunk, in which condition he is
oblivious to currency imitation,
questions of theology, or what
o'clock it is"
At Paw-Paw, Michigan, the 9th
or day, Homer Mentor was sen
fenced to the penitentiary fol
four years and six months, fol
polygamy. How sublimely en-
viable, in the eyes of that man
must appear the great polygamist
of Utah, who, reposing beneath
his own vine and fig-tree, ma,
take to his arms q new wife ever,
hour in the day, and none dar'
r modest or make him afraid, o
|, even ashamed of h!mself.-ECour
= ier-Journal.
f'The velvet moss grows upon tn
:. sterile rock, the mistletoe flourish
es on the naked branches, the iv,
clings to the Wondering ruins, tn
c pine and cedar remain fresh an,
4 fadelss amidst the mutations o
1 the dying year; and, Heaven b
2 praised. something green, some
l thing beautiful to see and CRATE
s full to the soul will, in the darkest
s saddest hour of fate, still Irvine il
n tendrils around the crumbling a
e tars anil broken arches of the de:
s olate temples of the human heart
al Two INsCRIPTIoNs.-The Nortl
It ern Border says that a graveyaT
O near Bangor has monument wit
:. the following inscriptions, the fri
g verse of which was written by til
II wife before her death, and the Sc
o ond by the husband after he ha
d married again
d Weep not for me. my dearest dear,
am not dead, but sleeping here;
III Repent, my love, before you die,
'e For you must come and sleep with
Il "Iwin not weep, my dearest life,
De For have got another wife;
40 cannot come and sleep with thee,
For must go and sleep with she.a
" The study of geography has {
lie tanned great prominence with
of the past forty years, having b
IS come so connected with geoloi
Id and botany as really to become
re science. The Boston Globe say
in "The young folks of the prese
er day are perfectly competent
d. convict their fathers and gran
IN fathers of gross ignorance in
al ography. One of the ideals
IS. Agassiz was to write a book
re the geographical distribution
nd plants and animals. We RENE
re- Der hearing him say, The fact
* gentlemen, God seems to ha
he given animals legs in order IL
Ia they shouldn't run away.