The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-10-20
For the Bloomfield Times.
Did She Do 1t ?.


~ every body ought to, that has a
chance, and wouldn't pay you SO poor
compliment as to suppose that you couldn't
have, any time, just such chance as you
might choose. But when you do marry,
darling, be sure to marry a fool"
"My dear aunt y m
"Certainly, child. BY the time you
have been unfortunate enough, like myself,
to have had three husbands, you will need
no explanation OF my advice but as that
can't possibly be for a good while, and,
indeed, may never be, I'll give you my
reasons beforehand. / am not so silly as
most people, to think that if girl merely
gets man with good fortune, good con-
nectiops, good appearance, and good man.
ners, she is marrying well. No, no--a hu-
man being, especially woman, can't be
perfectly happy unless she has her own
way in everything, and no man is likely to
give woman her own way, unless he is
fool"
"Therefore, to be perfectly happy, a
woman must marry fOol!-my dear aunt,
you are SO delightful p' .a.,
"Hush, Clara don't be so giddy-it is
no laughing matter, l assure you. If a
man has any sense, or, what's pretty much
the same thing fancies he has, it gives him
such conceit of himself, that he is quite
blind to his wife's, though, ten to one, she
has great deal more than he has-as you
would have, Clara, If you were married to
any man know of. have bought this
experience dearly enough, for, of my three
husbands, none was exactly of the right
sort. had my choice, too, out Of a dozen
each time, which was natural, as was a
woman of property, but hadn't learned to
see deeply into such things. There was
your uncle Crumpsey-you would have
thought that the world went by the wag of
his tongue 1t was nothing but philanthro-
py, patriotism, general Improvement, public
good, grand systems, and important sug-
gestions, with him. All sorts of people
came to him for advice, from the candi-
dates for mayor, down to the inventors of
patent washing machines, and discoverers
of infallible rat destructives, and after he
had haIangued and dictated and laid down
the law, Of course he must put his hand
into his pocket to pay the expense of carry
ing out his sentiments, and it was my mon
ey that was forthcoming. couldn't help
seeing how the money went, though Inever
complained except by hints-I was too
good wife for that-but if he had lived
much longer than the honeymoon"
"The honey moon, aunty "
''Yes, child, the honeymoon sometimes
does last four or five years, when there's no
children Or any other serious dispensations
of Providence If he had lived much longer,
as was going to ssy, / should certainly
have let him hear my mind about it.
Never marry a suiart-talking man for the
world"
And what sort of sense had my next
uncle, aunty p"
Your uncle DidenhOover-why, his ran
altogether in the way. Of books and phi
losophy. He never cared fig for the pub
Tic good, which was one virtue in him but
instead of that he had provoking turn foi
enlightening me. /, Whenever ] sat down
beside him, thinking to have comfortable
(. chat about my neighbors, my property ol
my indoors domestic affairs he was sure tc
branch of tothe Greeks, Romans, Trojani
and wild Indians You might have I'M
derstood him, my dear, after going through
all the arts and sciences at Doctor Drum
goods, like good girl, you can talk like
a book, arc pretty much Of philosopher
yourself but to me It was as tedious as II
he had been saying grammars and English