Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-07-09

into the middle OF that road, sir, and walk
in that dust, behind that wagon, all the
way to the Packers Roost on the Yuba
River" what, with these clothes on?"
"Why, it is fifteen miles, and dusty all
the way" No matter, sir; take the
road You squander your money at
three-card monte; I'll teach you les
SON."
"G'lang! g'langr' drawled the driver,
as he looked over his shoulder with a
curious mingling of pity, contempt and
wonder on his dusty face. More and
more spitefully snapped the swinging
whip as the slow paced oxen toiled mile
after mile under the heat of September
Armstrong behind the wagon-slowly,
He was man who always spoke his
thoughts.
This serves you right, Armstrong.
Any man who will fool his money away
at three-card monte deserves to walk in
the dust" at will spoil these clothes"
"Well, don't you deserve ity'' The dust
fills my eyes," "Yes, any man who gam
bles all his dust away at three card
monte deserves to have dust in his eyes
and alkali dust at that" 1.-THE dust
chokes me-" "All right; any man who
will buck at monte deserves to be choked
Keep the road, sir-the middle of the
.road-close up to the wagon. Do you
think you will ever buck at monte again,
Armstrong;"
And so the poor culprit, selfarrested,
selfcondemned, coughed, and sneezed,
and choked, and walked, and talked, mile
after mile, hour after hour; while the
great wagon groaned and creaked, the
driver bawled and swung his whip, the
patient oxen gave their shoulders to the
yoke, and the golden sun of Septem Der
sunk YEARLY toward the West. The
shadows OF evening were beginning to
fall when the wagon halted at the place
called Packers Roost, on the. Yuba
"Here we rest" sighed Armstrong, just
above his breath, as he looked at the
stream. mo, you DON'T" answered the
head of the firm. "You buck your money
away at monte, and talk about resting !!
Now, Armstrong, go right down the bank,
sir, into that river" AS the command
was peremptory and spirit Of obedience
was thought the safest, Armstrong obeyed
without parley; and down he went, over
head and ears, store-clothes and all, into
| the cold mountain stream. 1t was long
time that he remained in the water and
under the water. He would come to the
surface every little while to talk, you un-
derstand. 1t was impossible for Arm
strong to forbear talking. ooh, yes" he
would say, as he came up and snuffed the
water from his nose, you'll buck your
money away at three-card monte, will
you? How do you like water.cure?"
His words were, of course, duly pune
tuated by irregular plunges and catchings
| of the breath.
| 1t so happened that the man who kept
the shanty hotel at the Packers Roost
had wife who, being a kind hearted
creature, besought her lord to go down
| and help the poor crazy man out OF the
water"
"Pshawl" said the ox-driver, "he
amt crazy man; he's fool. He
walked behind my wagon and talked to
| himself all the way from Scrabbetown."
Thereupon arose lengthy discussion
| about the difference between crazy man
and fool. But, after while, the land.
| lord and the ox-driver went down to the
bank and agreed to go Armstrong; Sc.
curity against bucking a monte in the
| future if he would come out of the water.
| So he came out and went up to the
| house.
"W i'll you have cup of tea or coffee p
said the woman, kindly.
Yes, madam" said Armstrong, 81
will take both"
He is crazy, sure as can be-" said the
woman. But she brought the Two cups,
as ordered. milk and sugar?" she in.
quired, kindly, as before.
"No, madam, mustard and red pep
per-" answered Armstrong.
81 do believe he is a fool" said the
Woman, as she went for the pepper and
mustard.
Armstrong, with deliberate GOODNESS,
put spoonful of red pepper into the tea
and spoonful of mustard into the coffee
| Then he poured the two together into o
large tin cup. Then the old conflict
ragged again, and, high above the din OF
rafting tin cups and pewter spoons,
sounded the stern command, Armstrong
drink it, sir--drink it down." A mo
mentary hesitation, and few desperate
gulps, and it was down. ooh, yes" said
our hero, as his throat burned and the
tears ran from his eyes, "you buck your
money away at threecard monte, dc
your"
Now, the Thomsonian dose above de
scribed very nearly ended the battle with
poor Armstrong. He was silent for quite
a time, and everybody else was silent
After awhile the landlord ventured tc
suggest that bed could be provided il
it was desired. "No," said Armstrong
"I'll sleep on the floor. You see, strain.
GER" said he, eying 1.-The landlord with a
peculiar expression, "this fool has beer
squanderlng gold dust at monte-tlree
card monte-and does not deserve to SLEEP
in bed"
SO Armstrong ended the days battle
by going to bed on the floor Then came
the dreams. He first dreamed that he
was sleeping with his feet on the North
Pole and his head in the tropics, while
all the miners of Yuba were ground-sluc
ing in his stomach Next he dreamed
that he had swallowed Mount Shasta foI
supper, and that the old mountain had
suddenly become an active volcano, and
was vomiting acres and acres of hot lava
Then the scenes shifted, and he seemed
4 to have found his final abode in place
OF vile smells and fierce flames, politi.
cally called the antipodes of heaven.
And while he writhed and groaned in
sleepless agony a fork tailed fend with