, 1874-02-08
SWEARING OFF.
The Best Way to Bride a Wcman's
Tongue.
Various Uses to Which the New
System Can Be Put.

| reporter of The TRIBUNE WAS sitting in
Justice Scully's Courtroom. on West Madison
| street. one Saturday afternoon, notebook on
kneo and pencil in hand, watching fo. q case Of
| more than ordinary interest. Ho watched long
and in vain. Tho 81 daYnuable iteration " of
| drunk and disorderly" broke upon his accus-
| toned ear as waves upon the shore, a dreary,
! monotonous sound calculated to lull ono to
sleop- Indeed, the reporter was relapsing into
! sort Of half doZe, dreaming Of the future posi-
| tion he was to occupy aa edltor-in-chiaf Of tho
most influential daily in the Northwest Of tho eu-
] turo. Ever tho sounds wcra repeated: "John
Smith, drunk, your Honor. John Smith, you
are charged with being drunk. What
Say you, guilty or not guilty !?
Officer FlauniGan, To sworn. You do sole1nnly
swear that the evidence you will give in the case
now in hearing before tho Court shall be tho
truth, the whole truth md nothing but the truth,
go help you God. State what you know about
this case"
'Neu, your Honor, as was coming up Van
Bureu street about o'clock last night, or per-
hnps ten minutes later, . man came up to ne,
! mo, md says he," ETC.. etc. Ever tho same !;
like an infants lullaby in another key.
With due precision tho Court asked ques-
tion, tho Clerk booked tho fine, called
tho next casc on the docket,
willie all officer turned somebody out Of
court for misbchaYior, It was hleopy disposi-
ton of tiresome cases, and awaking with start
from dream of enormous wcath and COM
nlanding position the reporter buttoucd his over
coat tightly round his throat and tucked his
notebook away preparatory to 3 departure.
NEEDS MUST JUDGE
At this moment his attention mas taken by a
sight not particularly striking but not altogoth-
er common. Justice Scully had before him a
skeleton Of promise-a blank form which he
Was filling in. Before him szood little bit OF 4
fellow whom the reporter had seen before. He
was not moro than feet 8 inches high; his
eyes were blcared and 1ashless, and q
bnlbous prominence at THO end Of the
nose told OF lie devoted to conviviality- The
declaration thus made was indocsed by tho bald
ness Of the head, upon which, apparently, the
most restless application OF II lcassar oil lnd
failed to revive moro than IN undc-brush of fur.
Ho had u tough-looking little moustache, which
covered yawIing cavity Of 3 mo'atk. He vas
in deep detection, but managed to drawl out
dry romark which made the Justice laugh aomo-
what. $50 you've been driven to this. Hank,
have you" said tho Judge. - Needs must, Judge,
when the devil drives rctorted the poor little
chap, with u moisture about tho eyes in contrast
with their dryness few minutes ago. II
81 e sft as s; ae.pss pss1 eao saa I'm ap ,a4asa; a
STR sstraieht % til then anyway Charley Won't mind
il do get little OF after that, suppose" The
Judge laughed. We'll, perhaps the5e'n be
the quarter, ,3Hank I'm only too glad to help
YOU out without it. I've often wondered why
YOU never came before" Tho Judges laush
was ono Of those dry, nervous, unpleasant
laughs that conceal 3 whole biography, and it
49, y =, Tlaror 1,nrv
ever, for his remaining, apparently listleas and
drowsy, during this conversation. Being an
experienced hand, he quietly watchod lis time,
and, after Hanks departure, lolled up to the
Justice and commenced N interview.
swEAI-oFF.
Rcporter-Thnt lvas rather an unusual form
OF warrant you issued to TINT young man just
now fudge. wasn't it 7
Jndgo-lt vas. | wish issued more Of thom;
Poor little chap, he's : good boy, and ho don't
drink much, but glass OF beer tells on him with
terrible effect.
Reportcr-Ycs, I've scon him ut police head
quarters good deal, but supposed he had
business there. II l understand the CONVERSE
ton YOU had with him jus. now, it related to this
very subject.
Judso-You ere quite right. He cn1ne to me-
to q swear OIL" That :. warrant " you saw was
T. blauk form Of an oath Of abstinence most
eoczlulv sworn to, and witnessed By me.
Reporter Judging from the fact that you
have such oaths printed in blank form, I should
say you Issued great many OF them?
Judse-Yes I Do (and here again ho smiled
one OF those peculiarly meaning s1nilesl
ncportcr-i have no doubt they are OF great
value to the poor fellows driven to this pinch.
Judeo-I hope 80. Sometimes, I suppose,
they are of absolute service; but. I EN- afraid
that the instance you Just saw will not be all
illustration of their value
lieporter-Yoa appear to know that young
man very well; do you mind telling me- who
ho ia? ........
fiJudse-You are reporter; think yos1 might
exercise your roportor1al acumen in ferretinS out
lis history. assure you it will be Of uEe to you
and Of interest to your rcaders. It isnot exactly
romantic, but it is instructive. don't know his
business, hut his name is McCa1ery- That's all
I'll tell you about him. Hos good boy, and
you will have 10 difficulty in discovering aii you
want to know if you go to work about it prop
erly.
THE LITE or M'c4FrEnY.
Thus challenged, the reporter set to work. It
is needless to'bore the reader with every detail,
to show the reporters wonderful sagacity, as is
usually done. Suffice to say that twenty hours
afterwards he was in full Possession OF all the
facts relating to the subject.
UNLAWFUL 1oGs,
McCahery had been engaged for years in what
meant drug store. For years lie had steadily
adhered to business, aud lad only on occasions
sought in company with ono Of the lights OF an
other profession, the delusive pleasures Of the
cup. He had Qf1vCl IN Df0kcu puHS1eS uuLu slo
break became SO bad he could drive no longer
He had somctinea. under the influence Of the
trcacherons bowl done things he was afterwards
ashamed of. He had once been very tight. He
lind shocked his landlatiy by offering her the
shattered remains Of 4 drunka1d's heart. Ho
had positively declared that he would
fill dr11nkard's grave, and that he
WAS unworthy to bear the Eame of
McCafery. He had said he was aot, and TINT
there was no hope for h1u1 in the next world, bo-
cause it was written in the S. S. that no drunk
ard should enter the Kingdom Of Heaven He
YVES wreck, he said, stranded On tho shores Of
Vice and shattered on tue rocks OF 1ntcmpefance
To all this, except tho offer OF his fragmentarY
heart and trembling hand his land1ady Ind will
iEgly assented, aud bad put himt to bed with
many fervent prayers that his head would ACHE
in the morning as it deserved.
AND ACHE II DID.
It felt Us though four-and-twenty little devils
armed with s!edgo-hammers were pounding it
into sheet Of goid-beater skin. It
seemed to fill the room all except 8
liislo bit left for his little body
Then Hank thought Of what ho had said and
done the night before the billiards he could
3,oI Il,