davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A pugilistlc 1rishinan in England
being bound over to keep the peace
on all British subjects, remarked :
"The saints help the first foreigner l
meet"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

You may talk yourself into bron-
chial affection, but you can't convince
Vermont woman that there won't be
a death in the family if she dreams
OF seeing a hen walking a picket
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A cynical writer says: ''Take COM
pany of boys chasing butterflies /; put
long-tailed coats on the boys, and turn
the butterflies into dollars, and you
have q beautiful panorama of the
world"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A man may forget his business, his
family, and all his sacred obligations OF
life, but he always remembers where
he cot that counterfeit bill.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

An Omaha girl has introduced 70
mantle mode Of suicide by stuaing her
lovers letters down her throat until
she choked. She ,uldn't swallow his
unkind words, and SO came to her
end.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

ssKind words ara wonderful in their
way" says an exchange, shut so tar as
children go, a boot-jack exerts more
powerful Influence.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

With what sublime resignation are
we enabled to sit in church, with. all
worldly things off our minds, when we
are better dressed, and are looked at
Y@e than anybody else there IL
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A girlin Liverpool wants to know
who has got Ter young man. She
hasn':. seen him since the evening she
told him there had been poetry in her
family for several generations.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

Al correspondent wants to know our
opinion concerning the disposition. of
the dead. AS far as we are acquainted
with them, the dead appear to be of a
quiet disposition.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

Editing paper is like carrying an
umbrella on a windy day. Every
body thinks he could manage it better
than the one who has hold of the
handle.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

Websters Dictionary thus defines
the word crusade" Any hot beaded O.:
fanatical enterprise; to attack in zeal
Gus OF hot. headed manner"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A Vermont preacher, who sarcas-
tieally asked his congregation to prA,
for the editor OF the local paper, recent
ly had bill sent to him for thirteen
years subscription to that paper and the
worth of religious notices.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

Counting receives fresh impetus
from the advent of maple sugar
Twenty-Five cents worth of maple
sugar will go farther than two dollar s
worth of candies
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A rustic moralist going his
rounds-''An uncommon fine pig, Mr..
Dibbles, declare" sab, yes, sir, ii
We was only, all ofus fit to die as him
sir?"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

What is the difference between a
Jew and a lawyer? The one gets bis
law from the prophets, and the other
his profits from the law.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28
CHESAPEAKE AND OH1OR. r.

On and after Sunday Apr. 10Th 1874 Passen-
ger Trains will run as follows:
FROM STAUNTON.
1O.25A M. MAIL RAINS, For CharI .ttesvll,e,
Gordensvillc, Richmond and all intermediate
Stations daily Except Sunday arrives at
Richmond 500 p. NJ. This taain connects at
Charlottesville Tor Lyncbburg Bristol Knox
vi1le Cha ttanooga and the South and at Cor
densville for Alexandria, ashington and the
North.
il 40 P. NJ. EXPRESS, For Charlottesville,
Gordenseille. aud Richmond daily Except
Sunday arriving at Richmond 40 A. NJ
This train connects at Charlottesville, for
Lynchburg, bristol Knoxville, Chattanooga,
and the South at GordonsviIle for Alexandria
Washington and the North ard at Richmond
for Petersburg, Norfolk. Weldon, Wilmington,
Charles ton, Savannah, Danville, Greensboro,
Charlotte and all points southeast.
3,42 A. NJ. ExpREss. For Goshen, MillbOrO
Covington, White Sui lhur and all stations
west of White Sulphor daily Except Sunday
| arriving Huntington 80 T. NJ. This train
connects at Huntington. with the companvs
steamers Bostona and Fleetwood arriving at
Cincinnati, 500 A. NJ. in time to connect
with the Morning TraiIs on a II the different
lines running out at Cincinuatti.
3,35 P. NJ. MAIL TRAIN, For Hinton and all
intermediate Stations daily Except Sunday J
arriving Hinton 10 Is p. M.
For te tickets and information apply to
j. W. Hopkins agent at Staunton
IA. PERRY Gen'lSup't.
EDGAR VLFIr, Gen'l P. and I. Ag't.
apr. % tt.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

If there is one time more than an
other when woman should be en-
tirely alone, it is when line full OF
clothes comes down in the mud.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

4 man who has lived next door to
school>house for ten years, says he can
see no sense in calling any one "a gen
tle1nan and scholar"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

Every lady is anxious to know
whether her new dress is becoming !;
but the most likely thing to beco me a
lady is a well behaved little girl.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

A cynical lady, rather inclined to
firt, says most men are like a cold,
very easy caught, but very hard to get
rid Of
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28

- VICE stigns us even in our pleasure
but virtue consoles us even IN our
pains.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28
o E 7 r Y.
THE SOUTH.
BY FATHER RYAN.

Yes give the land where the ruins are spread,
And the ving tread light on the hearth OF the dead
Yes give me The land that is blest by the dust,
And bright with thedews of the down-trodden just.
Yes give me the landwhereth the battles red blast
Has flashed on .he future the form Of the PAST;
Yes give me the land that hath legends and lays,
Thai .eils of the memories OF long vanished days.
Yes give ma the land that hath story and song,
10 tell of the strife Of the right with ths wrong
Yee, give mo tho land with grave in each spot,
And names in the graves that shall not be forgot.
Yes, give me the land Of the wreck and the tomb:
There's grandeur in graves, there's glory In gloom
For out of the gloom future brightness is born
AS after the night, looms the sunrise OF morn.
And the graves of the dead with the grass overgrown
Nav vet form the footstool of Liberty throne
And each simple wreck i'll the way-path of might,
Shall vet he a rock il. the temple of right
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1874-05-28
GEE WHAT YOU GET FOR $3.50.

GEE WHAT YOU GET FOR $3.50
Our Fireside Friend, for one wear 20
numbers of large sized. eieht-paue
Family Weekly of great value and interest
in every household, and your choice of
either "Snnbcem" or Cute" finely framed
in two-inch polished walnut and Gilt
frame, ready to hang up for $780,
Rs~ NOW is THE TIMEl Sinh.
scribe with the agent, or send direct to
the Publishers, Waters & Co., CHICAGO
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07
,MOFFAT'S LIFE PILLS
and
PHOENIX BITTERS.

The Most Successful Medicines
in the World.
Established in 1886, by one of
our Most Eminent Physicians.
and now used throughout North
and South America, with more
pleasing results than any other
Medicine in cases of diseased
Liver, Blood or Skin, Indiges-
ton, COstiyeness, Bilious Corr
plants, Rheumatism, and Fever
and Ague.
Thousands of certificates are
i'm cur possession, giving detailed
accouts of perfect CURES effect
ed by these invaluable Medicines.
They regulate the System and
put oil the functions Of the body
In healthy condition.
fB- Sold by Druggists everywhere.
j. P. MILLS, Sole Proprietor,
SO Liberty Street, New York.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07
Writing Machines

10000 SOLD N THE LAST 80 DAYS.
Made expressly for the nervous and people with
trembling hands. No change of pen or holder
Can be carried in vest pocket; patented; cannot
wear ont; worth price a curiosity, if not for
Brass, 35c; silver plated, Soc; by mail W. EV
ANS, Harris Falls, New York.
saw where you saw this.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07
Castor Oil Pills.

Tit sa.ets Certainty action Vi -. aor Oil,
for both children and adults, has made il at all
times popular, because it is a reliable medicine;
THE ONLY OBJECTION
to its constant is the difficulty of administering
1t to children and its nauseousness to adults Both
these objections are now entirely overcome. The
Proprietor, by the application OF the principles of
chemistry, aided by careful manipulation and
long PRACTICAL experience, has III length succeeded
in accurately combining.
IN A SOLUBLE FORM.
all the medicinal elements of Castor Oil with other
harmless but valuable vegetable products. These
Pills being coated with sugar, will be found easy
and pleasant to take and, as they contain neither
mercury minerals in any form, are very safe
medicine in all cases where purgatives required
such as
Bilious Disorders.
SICK HEADACHE AND FoULNEsS OF THE
STOMACH.
Habitual Costiveness and Piles,
Diarrhea or Looseness of the Bowels
Fevers and Inflammation and as
GENERAL BLOOD PURIFIER,
they will be found invaluable; also very desirable
medicine for
FEMALES IN DELICATE HEALTH,
None other should be used.
VIM SCRUTON, Proprietor.
81 Barclay street, n. Y.
Price 25 Cents per box.
gE~F For sale by Emil Koahler
2-16d6m
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07
CLIMAX! CLIMAX /!
Pages Climax Salve, a Family

Pages Climax Salve, q Family
blessing for 25 cents.
1t heals without a scar. No
family should be without it.
Wewarrant it to cure ScrOfula
Sores, Salt Rheum, Chilblains,
Sore Breasts or Nipples, Burns,
Scalds, Cuts, and Sprains.
1t has been used over twenty
years, without one failure.
IthasnO parallel-haying per-
fectly eradicated disease, and
healed after all other remedies
had failed. 1t is a compound of
Arnica with many other Extracts
and Balsams, and putup in larger
boxesfor the same price than any
other Ointment.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07

Our readers will certainly thank us for
advising them to keep in their houses, for
use, Renne's Pain Killing Magic Oil. 1t
is said to be the best remedy for painful
complaints ever discovered 1t works
like a charm"
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07
OBSTACLES TO MARRIAGE

HAPPY RELIEF FOR YOU'VE MEN from the affect,
of Errors and Abuses in early life Manhood re.
stored. Impediments to Marriage removed New
method Of treatment. New and remarkable RENE
dies Books and Circulars sent free, in sealed :
ADDRESS, HOWARD ASSOCIATION, No. 2 sout,
Ninth Street, Philadelphia, Pa.,-an institution
having high reputation for honorable eonduc
ana professional skill. 2.ed&wam
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-05-07

Schenck's Mandrake Pills act upon the liver, re-
moving all distractions. relax the ducts of the gall
bladder the bile freely. and the liver is
relieved the stools will show what the Pills do
nothing has ever boo vented except calomel "a
deadly polsou winch Is very dangerous to unless
with great care) that will unlock the gall BLADDER
and start the secretions of the liver ike Schenk's
Mandrake Pills
, 1874-06-10
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Six Dollars per anIaVlaRl, paya-
bge half-VeaPly ian advance

SINGLE number to non-subscriber, 8 cents
Parties dosirous Of withdrawing their subscriP-
iton to the "Avis'' are required to give notice
three months previously.
TERMS OF ADVERTISING
Approved by Government 25th june 1900
For an advertisement of 8 lines, or UNDER one 10
Small Type (Brovier) l to 8 lines -........sl w
Over s lines, pr. AZ
LGroe Type Mong Primer, Small Pioa'
Plea, Columbia) l to s lines--..-.... ~ ~
Over s lines, pr. ~
For a line of largest Type---.-..-- ~
For to 3 subsequent Insertions tne ha'A
amount of the first charge will be made.
All advertisements for insertion must oe ue-
Fvarad at This Office on TUESDAYS and FRIDAYS
not later than l o'clock P. M. Inc F9SIaSe co. Un
letters to this Office from West End ana ."
Thomas must be prepaid, or no notice VIII Do eaNen
! 80 !" Special contracts will Re
made with parties who may De
DESTROYS TO advertise by the year,
half yearly, or quarterly
We BEG it to be distinctly understood tna'
all communication to this paper must Do al.
tbenticated by the name of the author, noo
necessarily for publication, but as " goaa Snno9
Of good faith; and, further, that We oann ~
bv any means undertake to preserve NOR It,
turn rejected manuscripts.
, 1874-06-10
BARBADOS.


RHUGua9 Mi9c Assurance Society
ESTABLISHED IN 1910.
INCORPORATED BY SPECIAL ACT 1851.
CHIEF OFFICE:
No. 90, HIGu STREET, BRIDGEToWN, BARBADOS
T1lHIS Society, which confines its bust
az ness exclusively to assIring the lives
of persons resident in the West Indies,
presents advantages such as nc other As
suranco Company, labouring in the same
field, can offer. It's scale of Premiums,
although considerably lower than that of
any other Company, has nevertheless been
found quite adequate to provide for the
risk of life in the West Indies, and suGti-
Gent to create large surpluses, out OF
which Reversj0nary Bonuses, averaging
2I6 per cent per aunum upon the amount
assured have been distributed among the
Members Of the Society.
It's career, during a period OF 30 years
has clearly demonstrated the fact that the
lives Of persons residing in this part of the
world, are, when carefully selected, almost
as valuable as those inhabiting Europe,
and that they do not demand such excess
sive Premiums as are charged by. every
other Company.
The following abridged Table shows the
Premiums required to assure $780, tor the
whole term, p a single life =
, 1874-06-10

3die Auktion Fredagen den 24de JUL
1874.
ALE Kl. - sIet Middag paa Auctions
contoiret.
Auctionsconditioner Vurderingsforret-
ming og 0vrige Documenter vile vere
til Eftersyn paa Auctionscontoiret SAINT
paa Procurator P, Jennings Contoir fra
den 25de Juni 1874.
Christiansteds Auctionscontdir den 3Ote
Mai 1874,
H. A. JURs
, 1874-06-10

ment of their Premiums, may either dis
pose of their Policies to the Society upon
equitable terms, or obtain a free Policy
for a reduced amount.
Loans are granted to Members on the
Security of their Policies.
All claims occurring by death are
promptly met within 8 months after salts
factory proof of such death has been re-
celyed by the Society.
Strict Investigations into the position of
the Society are made fundamentally, and
the surplus then existing is allotted to the
Members, after a sufficient sum has been
set aside for the purposes of the Reserve
Fund. The next investigation and D wi
sion Of Profits, will take place on the 31st
December, 1875.
The Society has Agencies in nearly all
of the British West India Islands.
Actuary-ALEXR. S. BURNETT,
Secretary-HENRY ORUMPTON.
hAEEezCAh EXAM2NEssS:
DR.. van. BRETON. Dr.. HANSEN.
Forms of Proposal, Prospectuses, and
every information may be obtained from
5aonv;A &nmstoqns.
Agent
, 1874-06-10
A JOKE.

At q recent examination of children at
Swansea, England, the question was asked
WHY the children Of IsreaI made q golden
calf and worshipped it after they had been
forbidden such idolatry by MosesY A
nrecocious little fellow sharply answered.
because they had not enough gold to
make a bull with" The laughter which
followed put a stop to the examination
for that day.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-13
A Child's Memory.

When child is endowed with that
most excellent thing-a good memory
common sense should teach his guar
dians or instructors that he must be re-
strained from overtaxing it yet, we read
that certain lad aged twelve years, re-
peated in Sunday-school, without one
blunder, five hundred and fifteen verses
from the Bible. What makes the ac-
cemplishment of this fact the more re-
markable is the fact that the poor child
is usually employed during the day,
and memorized these verses by the light
of a fire built in his yard at night. 1t
may also be mentioned that he has
never attended any other than Sun
day-school. Now, the question is this :
What purpose does such a gigantic
strain upon memory serve 3? The pre-
cocious boy probably repeats his lesson
as parrot might, without in the least
understanding that which he recites !;
whereas, by thoroughly learning half a
dozon verses, he not only understands
what he learns, but reserves useful
faculty for profitable uses.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-13
Robert BOnner's New York Ledger.

The New York Times of recent
date contains the following just ana APP
preciative editorial notice
The New York Ledger recently en-
tered upon new volume, and the pro-
prietor, Mr.. Robert Bonner, took occa-
sion to say few words to his hundreds
of thousands of readers. He tells them
that the iberality which has been
shown in the past in the management
OF his paper will be continued through
out the new year; that all the old favo-
rite writer's will continue TO contribute
to its pages; that he will be constantly
on the watch for "any new develop
meAts of real rising genius :" and that
he is determined to keep up the Ledqer
as " the best family paper in the
world.
That these pledges will be kept, Mr..
Bonner's well-known enterprise and
high character afford sufficient guar
antee. He may fairly claim the credit
of having established popular journal
which is absolutely free from any moral
reproach or stain. In too many of the
trumpery journals which have been set
up III the vain hope of competing with
the Ledger the lessons taught to the
young are of the most injurious charac-
ter. Parents are depicted as unnatural
tyrants from whom it is duty and O
virtue to escape. A boy flies from his
home, meets with stranger of bound
less wealth and hberality, is instantly
adopted as son and heir, and achieves
exploits which rival all the feats of
all the heroes known to history. Many
a boy has found out to his sorrow how
little these wild and mischievous stories
represent the actual conditions of the
battle of life Too often the teaching
is even more pernicious-vice and prof
fiigacy are openly inculcated. Mr..
Bonner's Ledger has always been free
from this abominable poison. Hence
it has been, and is, freely admitted into
thousands of families all over the coun-
try as a companion and friend. No
profane word, no vicious stories are ever
allowed to appear in its columns.
Among its contributors are some of the
most highly-esteemed clergymen of the
day, and many of the ablest writers in
general literature. 1t has two columns
every week of replies to correspondents,
which are full of practical good sense
and sound advice. In the number be-
fore us questions on great variety of
subjects are asked, from knotty law
points to delicate subjects connected
with engagement and marriage, and all
these questions are answered carefully
and with great good humor and worldly
wisdom. In this single number also
there are eight different stories, either
continued or complete in themselves
articles by the Revs. Henry Ward
Beecher and DR.. Hall ; many admirable
comments on topics of the day, and a
variety of useful and miscellaneous
reading. A better publication it would
be hard to find and while bearing our
testimony to the fact that it well de-
serves the wonderful success it has
achieved in the past, may we add our
wishes for its redoubled success in the
future
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-13
Rapidly Of Thought in Dreaming.

A very remarkable circumstance, and
an important point in analogy, is to be
found in the extreme rapidity with which
the mental operations are performed, or
rather with which the material changes
on which ideas depend are excited in
the hemispherical gangha. 1t would
appear as if whole series of acts, that
would really occupy a long space of
time, pass ideally through the mind in
an instant. We have in dreams no true
perception of the lapse of time-a
strange property of mind-for if such be
also its property when entered into the
eternal disembodied state, time will APP
pear to us eternity. The relations of
space, as well as time, are annihilated,
so that while almost an eternity is COM
pressed into moment, infinite space is
compressed into moment, infinite space
is traversed more swiftly than by real
thought, There are numerous illustra-
tons of this principle on record.
A gentleman dreamed that he had en-
listed as a soldier, deserted his regi-
ment, was apprehended, carried back,
tried, condemned to be shot, and, at last,
led out for execution. After the usual
preparations gun was fired he awoke
with the report and found that noise
in the next room had at the same mo-
ment produced the dream and awakened
him.
A friend of DIR. Abercrombie dreamed
that he crossed the Atlantic and spent a
fortnight in America. In embarking
on his return, he fell into the sea, and
awakin0 in his fright, he found that he
had not been asleep ten minutes.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-02-13
Pith and Point.

THE sweet orb of life-The honey
moon.
A HIGHLY intelligent dog-The type
setter.
A PHENOMENON of pottery-The ears
of pitcher.
For what port is man bound during
courtship? Bound to Havre.
A COMPULSORY hashish- eater-The
patron of private clearinghouse.
A GUNsAIfrH's shop is like a chicken
pie, because it contains fowl-in' pieces.
A LITTLE old maid says that the
smallest women look hopefully to Hy-
men.
IT is remarked by q would-be philoso-
pher that some people are wise one day
and otherwise the next.
A LADY in witness-box exclaimed;
"Gracious me how should / know any
thing L don't know anything about ?"
QUERY.-Can anybody explain why
late corners and early goers at popular
lectures invariably have creaky boots ?
"THE one thing" says Jean Paul,
(Which maiden most easily forgets is
how she looks-hence mirrors were in
vented"
WIDOWS who have lost two husbands
are the only ladies who have, as yet,
evinced much interest in the third
term" question.
A PAPER, in giving an account of
shooting affray, says the wounded man
is expected to recover, as the pistol-ban
lodged in his dinner-pail."
A LITTLE boy at his first concert inno-
Gently asked, when singer was en-
cored, whats the matter, mother,
didn't she do it right ?"
MAMMA" cried little girl, rushing
into the room, why am like tree ?"
Mamma could not guess, when the lit
tie one exclaimed because 1 have
got limbs"
"Six feet in his boots y exclaimed
Mrs. Beeswax what will the impu-
dence of this world come to, 1 wonder
Why, they might as well tell me that
the man had six heads in his hat"
WHEN the cock and the fox went On
board the ark they had no fear of bag
gage smashers for one had a comb,
and the other had "a brush, and that
was all the luggage they had between
them.
A LADY teacher inquired of the men,
bers of class of Juveniles if any of
them could name the four seasons. In
stantly the chubby hand of a five-year-
old was raised, and promptly came the
answer Pepper, salt, vinegar and
mustard.
A WHITE woman residing on Pacific
street, San Francisco, married to col
ored man, gave birth recently to twins,
boy and girl. The boy is black as
Jet, but, on the compensation principle,
the girl is white as lily. The father
is only half pleased, and says he can't
understand such checkerboard ar
rangement.
A SCHOOLGIRL in one of the rural dis
tricts of Pittsfeld was overheard trying
to convince a schoolfellow that she liked
him better than she did some other
urchin, of whom he seemed jealous.
-" OF course, 1 like you better than 1 do
Bill, said she, for don't l miss words
in my spelling lesson on purpose, so as
to be down at the foot of the class,
where Won are 2"