The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-03-14
THE PRESS.
SATURDAY MORNING. MAR. IA, 1874.

SATURDAY MORNING. MAR. IA, 1874.
Gossip and Gleanings.
A good floor manager-a broom.
Jones says that he didn't marry, because
when he wooed she wouldn't.
boy pulling a mules tail is touching
proof of confidence.
There's nothing in world which keeps
Lent so well as an umbrella.
A burglar Who was fouId under a man's
bed in Philadelphia excused himself on the
ground that lie was looking for his dog.
The new Spring bonnet will have diam
eter at least two inches less than usual, and
be fastened down with screws.
The saddest thing in life is the spectacle
afforded by young person who has burnt al.
her hair off her forehead with hot slate pen
Gil and cannot afford to buy a row of curls.
1t was a Canadian road, and the brakeman
had called out in a sonorous voice, ''Teeswa-
terri whan an argumentative passenger got
up and exclaimed, "''It's liep'
Where are all those Mennonites ?" ask
the Western editors. Yes, "Where are all
you men o'nights ?" ask the Western editors
wives.
Those terribly ancient China Crepe shawls
worn by our great grandmamma's have been
revived tor scarfs, They come in white,
pink, and blue.
In hose, there is as much a style as in any
thing else. The most fashionable are striped,
white clock embroidered, and white om-
broidered with colors. These are in Lisle,
silk, and Balbrggan, and run in price from
81 to 1915. q.
Lord EDMONTON, an English Peer, was
member of the House of Peers has led mole
blameless and consistent life than Lord Ok
monton.
When they opened the old COW at Chester,
Pa. the other day, all they found, in her
stomach was pair of shoes. The world is
challenged to produce another instance of
such a tender milkmaid
"Wife, what has become of the grapes?.
81 suppose, my dear, the hens picked them
off," was the bland reply. "Hens-hens!-
some two-legged hens, guess" said the hus-
band, with some impetuosity; to which she
firmly replied, ''My dear, did you ever see any
other kind"
An cid Troy river-man says he is disgusted
to hear people nowadays talk of low water
in the Hudson. He remarks that he can re-
member well. years ago, when the river was
low. He assevera:es that at one time all the
passengers on the New York boat had to
close their windows during the entire passage
down, because the steamers wheels made
such dust.
Hamilton is the name of travelling pho
tographer who has been taking things in
Iowa. He male an arrangement with Mrs.
Morris, of Maryville, to take her, but her hus-
band heard of it, Too good an opportu unity
to be lost. So he hitchad M and drove eve
miles to deliver his frightened spouse to the
waiting knight of the camera before he had a
chance to repent.
In little while the question-'Where are
you going to spend the summer?' will go
the social rounds. Europe will be the rem
devious for very large number of people
who have hitherto located themselver at the
American watering places during the cheated
term" 1t has been demonstrated fairly that
a trip to Europe can be made for less money
than protracted sojourn at first-class ho-
tel at Newport, Saratoga, or Long Branch.
Danbury Ne,cs: Mr.. Henderson, of Dan
bury, was appointed constable on Thursday
afternoon. In the evening he officially inter-
fered in fight in the le-factory tenement,
and within fhe space of three minutes was
knocked down, dragged over rough floor on
the back of his head, kicked down two flights
of stairs, bitten on the back of the neck, lost
two teeth, and was shnvad through fence in
his shirt sleeves. He resigned the next
morning. He said he was afraid he was
too unobtrusive in his nature for the office.
In Spring goods, the leading colors will be
either clear slate or silver grey. coming in all
fabrics-mohalrs, woods, tamise, cashmeres,
Berlinese cloth, ''frozen moonlight" and
Parisiennes cloth. Debaye cloth is used ex-
tcnsively for rediEgotes. The mode tints run
also in the silk line. "Ocean vapor' is the
romantic name given to the lightest possible
shade of blue. Then there are pochard shades
from dark salmon to darker Bordeaux. In
richer tints we have mace, Isabella yellow
maroon red, claret, leaf and chestnut brown.