davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03
Josh Billings on " Dtspepshe."

DEAR BARKER - nav been a
praktickal dispeptik for - years and
four months, and it would hav been
mummy in my pocket if I had been born
wishout emmy stummuck.
I hav prayed upward of one thousand
times to be on the inside like an ostrich
or a travelling coiporter
hav seen travelling colporters who
could eat as much as goose.
hav seen a goose eat till they
couldn't stand up emmy more, and then
set down and eat sum, and then lay down
and eat sum, and then roll over and eat
sum more.
| have tried living on filtered water
and going barefoot for the dyspepshy
and that didn't hit the spot.
[ hav -soked at water-cure establish.
ments until i waz so Timber that
kouldn't git myself bak agin inside ov
mi Baldwin apparel
bought saddle-hoss once, who was
got up expressly to kure the dispepshy
he was warranted to kure the disease
in 80 days, or kill the horse
He wuz warranted to trot harder
than trip-hammer, pull wusser on the
bits, stumble safer down bill. than emmy
other hoss on the futtstool.
rode the boss until l wuz ov ielly,
and then sold him bride and all for
sixty-eight dollars, and got sued by the
purchaser, and had to pay him 80 dol.
lars and sum cents dammage, bekause
the hoss had the i" Nimshys,'' disseaze
i knu nothing about
The hoss and fixings cost me $50 dol.
lars gold.
kontrakted for eleven kords ov hick.
ory wood, kross. grained and as phull oy
wrinkles as an old cows horn, and sawed
away three months on it, and the pile
seemed to grow bigger every day.
finally gave away the saw, and what
wood thare waz left, to save mi life, and
sat down discouraged, a square victim to
the everlasting dispepshee.
I have lived at the sea side, and
gamboled in the saline food, until
was az we'll picked az number one salt
mackrel.
have dwelt at Sarotoga, and taken
the water like mill, and still had the
dispepshee.
l have walked two miles before
breakfast, and then ett slice ov dri
toast, and half the yelk ov pullet's e.,
and felt all the tiue az weak az kitten
that had just cum out ov fit.
I hav laid down more than ? thous-
and times, and rolled over once y min
nit all mite long, and got up ii, the
morning like korpse, and thare didn't
nothing seem to all me emmy where in
partikler.
I hev red whole librarys on the stun.
muk and liver, and, when | got thru,
knu a CRATE deal less what was the mat
ter ov me than when 1 begun.
[ hav drank whiskee with roots in it
enutf to carry of emmy bridge or saw
mill in the country.
L hav worked on farm for mi vittles
and board, and dieted on fride pork and
ri bred until was az thin as the sermon
ov a day baptist preacher.
| hav dun all these things and 10
thousand other things just as ridikilus
and i hav got the old dispepshee yet, just
as natral and az thik az the pimples on a
4'year-old goose.
If you git good hold Of the dispep-
shee once yu kant never loose it entire
ly; it will cum around once in a while
like ghost, and if it don't scare YOU
so mulch az it did once, and make yu
think yu are going to die tomorrow, it
will make you feel just as sorry.
Yours, JOSH BILLINGS.
10 Cook RrcE.-The following is
ho N
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03

. In describing the recent debut of a
young lady, whose friends went into rapt-
orTs u res over her performance, Jones says
Iney aPPlauded her when she opened
her mouth; they applauded her. when
she smut It; they applauded her when
she kicked the stool and I very believe
they would have applauded her had she
kicked the bucket ;"
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03
OLD METALS WANTED.
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA
. COMPANY.

No. Church Street
2. 0. Box, $500. New York City
This is combination Of capitalists to supply the,
consumers OF Teas throughout the United States on
the mutual principle.
have experienced agents in all the best districts
of China and Japan to select Teas especially for our
trade.
We expect every consumer of Teas to render US all
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter
prise: as we make Speciality Of SUPPLYING CON-
sCMERS ONLY (and allow mddlemen to make
any profit Oh our importations) which wifi enable
US to supply them with Teas at prices lower than
nave ever been known and of those fine qualities that
seldom reach the Interior being sold only in the large
cities and among the very wealthy.
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our
enterprise and send at for circular with full
explahations OF how to proceed to obtain our goods
we remain, Most respectfully yours,
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO..
No s Church Street,
p. O. Box, $500. New York c+v
Entered according to the act of Congress- in Jan.
uary 1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co.. in
D. C.. 5''A'
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03

To Cook RrcE.-The following is
the method recommended by the French
Academy for cooking rice during the
seige Of Paris: Take one cup Of rice
and one-fourth Of cup of water in a
saucepan, cover, and place over a good
fire; after an hour the water will be evap-
oratedand the rice cooked tender, but dry,
with grains distinct, not in paste. suf:
ticient salt should be added, in the first
place, and care should be taken not to
disturb the rice while cooking. By adj
ding little butter, and allowing the rice
to dry little more over gentle fire, a
more delicate dish is prepared. The
Boston Meezscal Journal says that rice
cooked in this manner, which is the
same as that employed in the East Indies,
, bears the same relation to the indigesti-
pie paste of the New England kitchen
as does bread to boiled -four.
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03
rom the Ratrol Neav Yorker, .Jan'y II, 1874.

rroih the haT0l Neay Yorker .Jan'y II, 1874
tonsunaers 1naporting Tea Co-Our readers should
not overlook the advertisement in another column of
tne consumers Importing Tea Co. They propose to
supply consumers only with pure teas as cheapIy as
large facilities and direct communication with con-
sumer will allow. Weknow this Company-that it ;s
IN IN every way reliable and worthy the confidence Of
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03

The Dakota County Agricultural So.
clety is the first to announce its preu,i-
um list for the present season. The
fair will be held at Pennington, Sc pt
3Oth and Oct. LIST and End.
REs1aNED.-William Paist, Esq.,
has sent in his resignation as Secretary
OF the State Central Committee of the
antl'monopoly party. A pressure of
other business has made this step nee.
essary. 1t is pleasure to record that
Mr.; Palst is rapidly gaining strength,
ana 1t Will be but few days before he
visits the city.-Psoneer.
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03
What the Press San ar Us.

from the Amsrica" Agricuzturist, n T., Feb 1874
10 1eo Dyinkers On this page appears the circu
lar o te Consumers Importing Tea Co. We believe
this Company able and willing to perform all that
their circular proposes
The Grange advance., 1874-06-03
RREAD! BREAD! BREAD!

u ! am now selling Bread at . price whic aatoni
oil who buy-cheaper than you can make it. ,hea
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05
General Grants Turnout.

The fuss the papers make over the car.
riages and outfit of the President i'll pre-
pares one for the quite ordinary stud
Gen. Grant keeps for his own use and
that of his family. The old stable of
Buchanan's time is now partly a conser-
vatory and partly wood-shed. Nearly
quarter ofa mile away, on new and
yet uncultivated part of the public
grounds-outside the Presidential gardens
stands low brick edifice, somewhat
castellated, and this is the Presidential
stable. A coach of modern style, trimmed
wholly in black, except the handles, with
no ornament OF any kind but u. 5. G."
on the panels, is the State and family car
riage of the Chief Magistrate. 1t would
not be fashionable coach for New
York snob. 1t would need but little
change to turn it into a first-class mourn
ing carriage. A small, lightdriving
wagon is the tavorite for the President
when he drives himself To this is
hitched small black mare of marvellous
speed that came from the State of Maine.
The carriage horses are beauties One of
these is over sixteen hands high. He was
picked up in hack in this city, where
he attracted no attention. He cost but
$500. He could not now be purchased at
any price. A fine sum would be paid for
a mate. A pair of black ponies Of great
speed and grit, driven to low basket
wagon, with a rumble behind, is the IA
vorte team of Miss Nellie Grant. The
horse Of mark in the stable is Cincn.
natus, the old war-horse of the President
This animal is deep mahogany bay, sen-
der and of wonderful symmetry His
life-work is done He is eighteen, a Grip
pie, and will live in clover to the end of
his days. A fouryear-old colt of great
size and speed completes the horse outfit
of Gen. Grant Washington Letter.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05
The New York Flying Machine.

A correspondent of the Albany argus
writes from Auburn, N. Y:
The love for the marvellous and Won
dertul, associated with the inquisitive
element so predominant in the minds
and characters of mankind, finds for it.
self an item of no common interest in the
construction of Flying machine" now
taking place in one of our pleasant parks,
| will not therefore, preface my com
munication with history OF aeronautic
trials and triumphs, but cndeavor to give
you brief, detailed description of our
rdra aDls. The motive power of this
mechanism (the invention of Mr.. Hunt is
steam, utilized and made available by one
of Silsby's small, rotary engines. The
power is by means of bevel gearing com.
municated directly to upright shafts
which revolve in opposite directions. To
the outer shaft, which is of hollow con
struction, is attached a set of wings, four
in number, and of the following dimen-
sions: Width at inner end, next TO shaft
nine feet; width at outer end, six feet;
length, twelve feet, thus giving an aver
age OF about 100 square feet to each pro
pelling blade or wing, or from 400 to 500
square feet of propelling surface. | use
the term "propelling surface" advisedly,
for each wing is SO detected as to remind
one forcibly of a tugs propeller. To the
second shaft, which is placed inside the
outer one, is another set of wings precise
ly like those already described
These two sets of wings, revolv-
ing in opposite directions, so as
to overcome any rotary tendency
OF the whole mechanism, are supposed to
screw or bore themselves into the sur
rounding atmosphere with a velocity OF
about $50 revolutions per minute, and
consequently lift the apparatus, with its
water tank, boiler, engine and conductor,
into the ethereal space For the purpose
of guiding the fabric through the air, the
conductor can at pleasure set in motion a
set of wings placed at right angles to
those already described and working in
the same manner, through gearing con
nected with the motive power, the
course or direction of the whole being
guided by wide vane or rudder, at the
control or will of the operator. | have
thus impertectly and briefly endeavored
to convey an idea of what our flying ma
chine is like, and should the ascension,
which is to take place At no distant day,
prove success, or even partially so, you
will hear from me again. The flying
machine, when in the air, will be as great
a novelty as Fulton's steamboat on the
Hudson River. 1t presents now some
thing of the appearance OF a turret tower
to a monitor, carrying above ii mast OF
vessel with spars attached and swing
ing around ii, with a balloon basket sus-
pended underneath.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05
Making Wax Flowers.

Dun lady readers will find the initiating
of natural flowers in wax a very agreeable
amusement for long winter afternoons
and evenings. The work is not difficult,
and with little practice ornaments of
great taste and beauty can be made, The
materials can be obtained for small sum
from any dealer in artists materials.
Some knowledge of the general form Of
flowers is of course necessary to begin
with, nor should a little artistic skill be
entirely lacking. Forms of various leaves,
of tin, to be used rs patterns, may easily
be obtained, but the best limitations of
nature we have ever seen were made dl-
rectlv from the natural flower. A hand
ful OF blossoms may be purchased from
any florist, ami carefully disseCted; then
by tracing the shape OF leaves, etc, on pa
per, quite collection of patterns may be
gained. Tie British Trade JourHal says
that the best white wax is required for the
art-purc, and free from granulation, The
consistency may need to be modified, nc
curdlug To the state of the weather, and
the part Of the flower to be inflated; il
may be made iirmer and more translucent
hy the addition Of little spermacei,
while Venice turpentine Will give II
dhctility In preparing the wax for use,
it is melted with Canada balsam, or some
kind of fine turpentine, and poured into
flat tin mods; these give it the form of
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

and amid cheers of delight he was nomi
mated by reclamation. "Our principles
still live" shouted his exultant supporters.
Ex-Gov. Bramlette is not pleased with
such business, and publishes threaten
ing letter about it in the Louisville Com
merciaI. He declares that he cannot CO.
operate with the Democratic party if it
intends to assume as sacred duty the
task of rewarding rebels with Office sim
ply because they have been rebels, and in
utter disregard of their fitness otherwise
Ex-Gov. Bramlette is training in too bad
a crowd for man of his patriotic prin-
ciples, but we think he has been good
while in finding it out.-Chicago Jour-
nnt
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

Daniel Powers, boy of eleven, shot
at a rat in Springfield Mass barn, and
hit playfelow. Scared by what he had
done, Daniel ran off while the other boys
wound was being dressed, and had not at
last accounts been found, although search
had been made
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

A FEW evenings ago, Il party of stu
dents al Rush Medical College, Chicago,
were induging themselves in oyster stew
and oyster fried. One of the party sud
denly found hard substance which would
not masticate, and bringing it forth to the
light found ii something more than Il
mere piece of shell and something less
than a diamond It's luSter was some
what dimmed, but there was still asparkle
about ii that led the finder to secure the
opinion of lapidary. The lapidary
pronounced ii pearl, and estimated IFS
value 1T $500 Unfortunately that was lis
value Just before passing through the
boiling operation Of the oyster stew.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

Mrs ISAAC PLAsKET, of Port Jefferson,
n. Y, about month ago received a letter
from certain banking firm in Pine street,
New York city, stating that $50 had been
deposited to her credit and inclosing a
check to that amount. She at first sup
posed it was practical Joke, and that the
check was worthless Upon advice, how
ever, she Endorsed the check and it was
sent back to the bank for collection, and
IN due time, much to her surprise, she re-
ceived the money. A day or two ago she
received another letter from the same
house, stating that $50 had been deposited
for her, and, as before, inclosing check,
which was also presented and collected
Neither Mrs Plasket nor her husband
know who deposited the money; but they
are regarded as very worthy people in the
place and everybody is pleased at their
good luck.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

MANY mickle makes mucklc The
five cents savings bank Of Boston has ac
counts with sl>g-tour thousand deposit
ors, and the amount standing to their
credi, is upward Of eleven millions Of
do8ars. The unit is the basis OF the
million, take care OF the dimes and the
dollars will take care of themselves.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

FooLsHLY SPENT, money paid for children's
shoes not protected by SILVER TIPS. Two
weeks is about the time il takes a smart, ac-
tive child to ventilate the toe of shoe. Sill
YER TIPS the only preventive.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-03-05

AT Nashua, n. H., recently, child
eighteen months old bumped its head and
then cried itself to death
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07
iiishhanded Judicial Proceedings.

The Eufanla Nc,rs thus alludes to the
Strange antics of E. M. Keils, judge OF
the City Court Of Eufaula, when a SOU
in-'aw is mixed up ia The matter: After
opening court on Thursday, Judge Keils
inquired of the Sheriff why he had tele.
Sraphed TO The Sheriff of Montgomery
10 arrest Mr.. NJ. McNair (the Judre $
son-In- |aw.) The Sheriff replied be
cause he had a W it for his arrest, based
upon an indic, ment made by the Grand
Jury. TIE Judge then asked if the
Sheriff did not know thai he (Jud3e X }
ilad taken the reco3nizance of MrNuir
Tor his appearance. The Sheriff an
s"ered THAI he did not. Tie Judge
sad that it was the SEeriff's business
to know; and lie the. eupon made an
oder suspendiog the Sheriff, and an
olhcr anoiu' ins negro haiiiff as Shcl.
III. Not comient with tlis, the Judge
qras'ied The venire of Jurors made up
bv the Sheriff. and ordered The ap-
pointed Sheriff 10 mike new ones.
lhe first panel made ont by tho new
She lit WAS |so guastled, bcrause some
or the iLo"s selected had si.pihed
liie'r willingness 10 receive and eli cn-
Lite the Eagle aud Phnnix certificates.
Finally the negro Sheriff made up pan
els composed of 50 negroes and
whites, which his honor accepted
The news s;lvs Ci.at one Of them is
charged with lalceny, another bur,l,-
nv and q Third With horse sic.,'I,g,
The next sep Of the Judsc was 10 a.
rect lie dismissal of several eases cat
rIed up by refiiora,i from ne Mayo 5
C"uit-aIl againsG negroes. The city
attorney objected, but Tic JUDGE SAL,
he WAS determined TO puJ the cases on
of CONT, aud eu,e'cd unon his doche,s
IN each case, '.Jury, aud vevdicG Of
not guilty.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07
New Complications in the Pinch
back Case.

There is.a new scandal aAoat, which
is to the effect that Pinchback not
only bribed Blanchard to make affida-
Wit to his own criminalty, but that he
bought the votes in the Kellogg Lesis-
lature which elected him, and to cap
The climax, that he obtained the mon
ey wierewth TO buy them by i,.,udu-
lent devices and under false pretenses.
1t is charged by Pinchhacks opponents
THAT among the candidates for Senator
before the Kellogg Legislature was one
Norton, d carpet bagger, who WIS n
man OF wealth; that Notion, Hndiny it
necessary TO buy votes, hnt d;sI;kiny
(" 80 into the market himself, inrns-
ted a sum OF money to Pinrhbartl ia be
used III buying MP the negro lpnisla-
tors to vote for him, NorIor. Pinch
back. it is alleged, took the money and
bought The nigggSers according to con-
t,act, except in That he being amhi-
llous, and sharp fellow witllal,
bought them for himself instead of for
Norton. When the Legislature came
TO ballot Norton was Mortified to fin,l
Pinchbacll elected and himself left
out in The cold, aud, it is said, when
he applied for the restitution of his
money he was politely invited to go to
a warmer climate thon even New Or
leans.
These are few trihes which threat
en- TO embarrass Pinchback in the at
tainment Of his Senatorial AMBITION
Added TO these is also the presence ia
this city of Judge Bell, OF New Orleans,
who is expected to testify that OH a
former occasion he WAS called upon to
perform the melancholy duty of SEN
fencing Pinchback to the Penilentia,y
for two years. And yet Senator Nor
ton insists chat he HIS q pytmG ,/dcie
case.
Morton's point in sustaining Pinch
back, however, is not that he wants TO
get the latter into The Senate pa,ticn-
larly, but that he desires 10 make his
admission a Test of The legality Of The
Kellogg Government. Morton holds
that uniil after Pinchback HIS become
q member thereof the Senale cdDnoC
take any cosnizance of the charge thAC
may stand against him, but rs soon us
he is admitted on bis crt,len.i, Is
which will settle The status OF tho kel-
lOgg Government, from which he is
accredited then Morton thinks he c,'n
he investigated on the charges which
affect his illness for seat in the SEN
ate. N. Y. Herald.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07

GEEENGACK PApHE.-All the paper
issued by the United States Govern
meu6 is manufactured on a sixty two
inch FourdIinier machine, at The Glen
Mills, near West Chester, Pa. Sho t
pieces oil red silk are mixed with the
pulp in the engine, and the finished
stuff is conducted 10 the wire without
passing through any screens, which
might retain the silk threads. BY an
rApgement above The wire cloth, a
shower of short pieces OF iioc blue silk
thread is dropped in s'reaks upon the
paper while il is being formed. The
upper side on which INC blnc silk is
dropped. is The one used for The face OF
the notes, aud Isom The manner in
which the threads are applied, must
show them more distinctly ti,tn rhe re-
verso side, although they arc imbed-
dcd deeply enough to retn.in fixed.
The mil! is guarded by ofliri.tls night
and day TO prevent tho atsuaction OF
any paper.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07

A STARTLING STArEMENT.-Whcn
Mr.. Dawes states that the ply Of the
President, including salary and per-
quisites, amounts to $lG0,OO0 for a
presidential term, he states Il fact that
commands the attention Of the country.
At that Fate of ply the Office of Presi-
dent will be sought for its peculiarly
value. And when we arrive at that
point we have entered upon the down
slope in the history of this republic
1t 'sa fearful thing for Congress so sly 10
this country, ''th.tt the highest Office in
its gift is position for the attachment
of wealth."
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07

Price for one copy for one year $40, inclu::
ding Sunday edition, ST., beginning any
day, aud al the same rates per mouth for
ony part of; year.
TIE WORLD ALMANAC FOR 1874
Ready abon5 January ], 1874. one copy,
post paid. - cents live copies, post paid
Ono Dollar.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-01-07

there. On his left arm an anchor,
Ahchor there, but elongated. Pey,on
hao also a very curious scar on one of
us myers, which was dislieured bv
crushing in a cog wheel. A critical ey-
animation of this finger by the pbvsi-
can who dressed the fresh wound COM
pe'is the doctor to say that it is
THE FINGER OF WILLIS pEyroS.
While this examination was makipr
lhe Claimant said: doctor, do Won
recol'ect how sick I was made by the
S'sht of that finger, while YOU and
mother were dressing it one day? Aud
90 you recollect how | came to Won
one day to know what would take the
Inflammation out of my arm where I
W, was tattooed by Jim Bayne, the sailor ?
Inc old doctor remembered well how
sore Willis Peyton's arm was, and the
circumstance of his fuinting once from
the dressing Of the sore finger. An
other evidence that the claimant is The
s!mon-pure Willis Peyton is that he
Singles out men, who do not know him.
ca''lnS them by name and remiudinr
them OF Incidents of a former acouoinE
ance that leave no doubt in their minds
as to bis identity.
And the Widow Peyton" sits in the
court room, by turns looking at the
claimant to her bed and boa,d. cry-
ing as witness after witness avows his
ne''et that the strange man is Willis
peyton. She has told her friends Thai
u !. he really is Peyton he may have ll,e
farm, stock, and everything but her.
self Sometimes during passages o {
tue tr'al ne implores her to look sasaia
and see if she cannot ,ecorpize One
feature and acknowledge him as her
husband, but she rernses, and his car
nest, appealing face suddenly becomes
c'onded by despair. He Says if yhe
SUIT terminates in his favor he will
only ask living off the farm, and will
never lntrnde upon his wife and chit
dren unless they voluntarily recognize
him N. Y. Sun.