The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-12-11
Abernethy.

In Abernethy, wecome to one of those
rough eccentric physicians of whose
kindness innumerable good stories are
told. Like DIR. johnson, he had warm
heart under a rough exterior Though
he could be absolutely brutal to the fine
ladies and affected misses, he is said to
have been an amiable man, beloved of his
family and friends. But to tiresome
patients and nadIodes imdginaires, he was
at times the personation of rudeness;
"Sir, that's enough; 60 home and read
my book" To lady, who complained
of low spirits, he would say: "Don't
come to me; go and buy a skipping
rope" Sometimes, however, he met his
match. Curran one day came to con-
suit him, and was rather difFuse in de-
scribing his symptoms
"Sir," said Abernethy, "you had bet
ter tell me your whole life" Upon
which Curran sat down, and seriously
began: II was born in the year, in
the county Of. Ireland;" and Aber-
nethy burst into a laugh, and entered
properly into his cause. A lady, deter
mined 70 be brief, and to humor the
tyrant, one day entered his consulting
room, and, thrusting ont IN injured
hand, merely said, "My thumb, SIR"
"You, madam" he exclaimed in admi-
ration, "ars the only sensible woman
ever had for a patient"
A gentleman, equally determined, be-
ing roughly interrupted, locked the door,
put the key in his pocket, and insisted
on being heard. Abernethy smiled, and
complimented the patient on his resolu-
ton. To a gentleman who gave him
twenty pounds to re-attend his wife, he
said: care you the fool who gave me
twenty pounds the other day2 Go home
and tell your wife to dine earlier and
eat less; and do you keep your money in
your pocket, for no doctors advice is
worth twenty pounds" To lady, he
said severely: "Go home and tell YOUR
husband he will not have a wife this
day six months"
Abernethy was no respecter of persons.
Poor or rich, his, patients had to sub
nissively take their turns, or they might
90 elsewhere. An angry nobleman once
broke into his room and stated his rank
and titles in full, and asked Abernethy
if he knew who he was. To this Aber-
nethy replied: "And /, sir, am John
Abernethy," Surgeon-lecturer of St.
Bartholomew's Hospital, &C.; and If you
wish to consult me, am now ready to
hear what you have to say, in return,
sir" The Duke of Wellington, angry
at having to wait his turn, abruptly en-
tered his room. Abernethy asked him
how he had entered. "By the door,
sir" Then said the irascible doctor, 81
recommend you to make your exit the
same way" He is also said to have re-
fused to attend George ". till his lee
ture at the hospital was over. The
point on which Abernethy most insisted
was the stomach, and through that i'm
portant organ he declared all diseases
could be cured. The celebrated bisc uits
which he used to used to eat and recon-
mend were not so called from him, but
from the baker who first invented them.
That there was kindness in Abernethy,
who can deny, who remembers the story
of how he returned all his fees to a poor
widow who had consulted him, and ad-
ded fifty pounds, to enable her to give
her sick child a daily ride? He had
horror of operations, and rejoiced when
the evil could be averted without such
rough and terrible remedies.-tCham-
ber's Journal.