Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1874-02-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

St. Lonis's wiekedest man has died and
gone to Chicago. His successor will be So
lected by competitive examination.
The Detroit Free Press says that if you
fire shotgun in any direction in this
country YOU will hit poet; to which the
Ohio Sac Journal replies 'We want a
shotgun"
Conductor Tucker of the Boston and
Maine Railroad has run thirty-three years,
and his train has never met with a serious
accident.
At Muskoka, Joseph Arch met with some
Yankees squaring some pine trees for expor-
tation. "You're an Englishman - it was
asked. sYcs, Iam," he replied. ''Waal, |
| never knew one of your people who could
square timber well enough for us" ''You
never did" said Arch. ''lend me your axe. y
Without any ado, Arch took the axe and
! squared the timber to the full satisfaction of
the critics. lie was offered SIS month te
| cut timber.
Now that Treasurer Spinner is on rccu-
| pcratiye trip in Florida, some one says he *
| going to mcander by the romantic crocodile
| bayous that he may discover if the footprints
of those creatures really do resemble his
autograph.
The discussion about Mr. Lineon's rclig-
ion, did it not present 80 much variety,
would be in danger of growing monotonous.
That he was evangelical there can be no
manner of doubt, lor the fact Is duly certi-
| fed by unnumbcred witnesses, to say moth
ing of the Episcopal clergyman who gave his
testimony in the last Sunday Times. That
he was an out and out infidel there is an
abundance of proof in the testimony oi many
of his old companions That he was an
Unitarian no one can doubt after reading
that eloquent testimonial from Robert Coll
yer, and Prof. Taylor proves point blank
that he was a Spiritualist. There are now
only several religions to hear from; and in
due time the Swedenborgians. Mormons and
Shakers will. no doubt. present their claims.
all duly certified. When that happy day
comes it i to be hoped old Abc's ghost will
be allowed to rest in peace. - Ch'cqgo
Times.
An Iowa weekly paper is giving the Pres
| ident'S message under the head of 'Grant :
Last Shot or, the Discarded Daughter,
and publishing it aS n serial, and running it
nine weeks.
\ man passing through crowd, heard
one say. There goes man without rclig-
ion" He turned, and said gently, II have
religion enough to pardon your insult. "
The Chicago T,7timc notes that Martin
Van Buren, once said it WAS better to travel
thirty miles to see 4 man than To send him
letter, and it believes Caleb Cushing will
agree with him.
Hon. J. Il. Brown, of Portland, has sui
scribed the liberal sum of Sl0.0O0 towards
| the permanent endowment of Bowduin Cob
legc.
President Grant Is contemplating the pur-
| chase of lot ON Vermont avenue. Washing
ton. and the erection of house in which TO
reside after the expiration Of lis term Of
Office
Louisville has a genuine sensation. y
/ man came there from Michigan in Scptcm-
her last, established his Identity ~ the heir
of two rich Louisville ladies, recently de
ceased, and having settled up the estate and
! got 4 bill of exchange for so 900. went to
Cincinnati with hi~ lawyer to get it caShed-
Neither of them has been heard from since.
Mayor Mcdill writes from Paris that no
/ body in the city drinks water who can pos
Sibly avoid doing 50; and st. Louis paper
Spitciully adds. ''lIence every Chicago man
there feels perfectly at home.
An extraordinary story comes from
Green>burg, Pa. We tell it A. 'ti> told by 4
local paper That a burglar should be cap
tured by n skeleton seems an imposSlbility,
but the fact actually happening in Greens
burg on Saturday night last dispo-es of any
/ question Is to poSsiiniity. Breaking into .
closed and unoccupied Office of physician of
that town, burglar opened 4 closet (whie
his companion with dark lantern was in
another part of the room) and feeling for
clothing at about the height of closet hooks
| generally. got his hands between the Jaws of
a skeleton. which being adjusted with coil
/ spring and kept open with 4 thread. closed
suddenly on the intrudins hand by the
| breaking of the thread. \ sudden thought
/ striking the burglar of hi being caught 10y =
| skeleton in the doctors closet 50 terrified
| him that he uttered faint shrek and when
his companion turned the lantern toward
| him. and he bchcld himself in the grim and
| CHASTITY Jaws of Death himself. he became 50
oyerpowercd by fear that he lain ted fell in
sensible to the floor, pulling the skeleton
down upon him, and making 50 much noise
| that his companion fled Immediately. and the
| doctor. alarmed at the noise and confusion.
/ hastened into the Office and secured the ter
ror-Strickcn burglar still held by the Skele-
ton The plcading~ of the hurslar.who Wa
recognized 10y the physician aS citizen oi
/ GrecnSburG for several years. and man
generally held in good cSteel 4. were 80 pitt
/ ful and effective that the doc tor released him
showed him the door, and oadc him good
night with the toe of his ri yht boot. with i
verbal reminder that if he was ever seen
alterwarl in Greensburg an information
would be made against him.
\ Prairie City Qa) dru ggist refused to
sell man some whiSkey Tor asick child, the
other day. and that night the child died.
The father now sues the druggist for dam
agcs.
The Washington corr respondent of tie
Springfield Republican writes To prove
that ''sorrows come in battalionS," the pa
pcrs. this morning, contain the statement
that Mrs William : only son is under arrest
for theft 1t may be 4 mistake, but, as Is
well known, year or two since her Sor
suddenly made his appearance here and
about aS suddenly hrs exit, beng concerned
in some miS,lemcaaor. would not hay,
mentioned the sr.hicct but for the fact that
the leading journals have introduced it, and
do it simply to say few words OF cNplana
ton. quarter of 4 century ago. Mrs
Williams wa driven by tn cruelty Of hc1
husband To leave him; all h or truest friend
advised to this course. but its result Wa
that her only child, babe o. NY a year old
was retained hy the father The mothe
made repeated efforts to obtain custody o
the hoy, hut in vain, and he passed ont O
her knowledge. More than twenty wear
later, ruined in character. he walked Mt
the hotel here where she. the wife of Al
honorable senator, resided, and announce
himself as her son. Her behavior under
these dreadful circumstances WAS most ad
mirahle: she owned him at once and re-
ceiyed him with open arms. She mad'
every possible provision for his neglecte,
education, nor did she exhibit any falls
shame in regard to the matter. Everythin,
was done for the young man that kindneS
and abundant means could suggest. but h
repaid it all with ingratitudc and miscon
duet.
+ And now comes friend of Acassiz, VIII
says, in the Boston GIobc; We happcne
once to please him by defining jcll fish a
organized water Now look at it throug
the microscope" he said. "But. Acassi,
the play of the organization is so wonderfr
, that it seems 10 me that nothing but min
f can account for it, "You are right" wa
, his answer: sin some incomprehe. lsibl
way, God Almighty has created those b,
ings and / cannot doubt of their immortal
any more than doubt of my olcn.''
\ Boston lawyer of temperance princi pl,
was shocked to see five Harvard student Q