Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1874-10-16
Nasty.
From the Toledo Blade1
MIR. Nasty Tries to Get His People In
an Advanced Position-Thc Result Of
Ills EndcayOr.

From the Toledo Blade.l
MIR. Nasty Tries to Get His People In
AN Advanced PositiOn-Thc Result Of
His Endcavor.
CoNFEDERATE Y ROADS
(wich is in the State NV Kentucky, 7
Oct. 3, 1874.
hev bin for long time convinst that
the prinsiple trubble with the Democrisy
wuz q sort of lack of progressivenis, OF
adaptability, ef | may so speak, 20
changes in the requirements NV the times.
Dimocrisy hez alluz bin in u rut, and it
never kin git on to glory, in my opinyun,
till it gifts histed out NV it,
! determined that the Cross Roads, at
lcest, shood be progressive, and shood
take the lead in maxim Dimocrisy all that
IL ought to be. In short, | perposcd to
inoggerate a moo deparcher, and bring the
old party up abreast with the live ishoos
Nv the day.
To this end consultid with Deekin
Pogram, Issaker Gavett and Capt. Nc
Pelter, and they agreed with me that
that wuZ wat ought to be done, and that
no time shood be lost doin NV it. Ever
prompt, / suggested that we git together
that Fery night, in the backroom at Bas
CONS, and draw up progressive plat
form, which shood go forth to the world
ez the prinsipples NV the progressive Di.
mocrisy NV the Cross-Roads, which we
shood live by.
But the illluck wich hez followed me
all my life and hez well nigh brot my
gray hairs in sorrow to the grave wuz
close behind me on this occashun. AT
five that afternoon | wuz sent for to go
to Secessionville to serve on joory to
try nigger for hog steelin, wich of
pourcp nOpJ NOT hn mt off 7 told
Issaker, the Deekin and McPelter to git
together and draw up the resolooshens
and send EN- to the county paper to in
sert.
make EN- strong and peppery," sed.
" Avoid the musty noshen NV the dead
past and strike out suthin new and
startlin. Make EN- progressive and put
yourselves in accord with today. Re-
member that all old things must be done
away with and all things must become
new. Head off the Ablshnists and
Changers and sich by goin back onto the
old and being more progressive than
even they are"
With this advice left EN- and went to
Secessionville and tried the niggcr. We
didn't waste any time on evidence or
anything NV that sort. Nor did we leave
the box We brought him in guilty, and
to save the county costs hung him at
once.
l got home the next mornin and went
to lssaker's immejit to see wat they he'd
done.
Did yoo draw up them reslooshens:"
| askt.
1--WE did," sed he, "and sent 'em off,
and they are in print afore this time"
Are they progressive" askt L.
"Yoo betm sed he.
Did yoo ignore old ishoos? did 700
draw sponge over the past, and are
they full of live, new ideas?"
"They are" sed he; "here is a copy
Nv EN-"
| took the paper and red:
WHEREAS. 1t seems ez tho the Corners he'd a
call to step in the front rank NV the progressive
men NV to-day; and
WHEREAS, The Corners, believin in progress,
turns its back onto the dead past and ignores the
dead ishoos wich hez heretofore okkepied the
public mind; therefore be it
ResOired, That the Dimocrisy NV the Corners
believe the war Of 1872 wuz justihable, and here,
salers who so nobly sustained the honor NV The the
coontry nag In tlIut desprII struggle. zoo
ResOtUed, That the rcsolooshens Nv Smeet our
harty approval, tho we amt jest certm wat lhey
wuZ.
ResOErod That the late war aGin the South wuz
conserved in sin, and wuz a blow aimed at the
only chiyalry this country ever ned and that the
ReSOiCed, That Afrikin slavery is not only JUS
titled by the Holy Skripters, but is the normal
thing for this or any other country.
ReSOiUed, That we brand the Emansipashen
proclamashen ez emanatn from Gorilla, and
the Constitushnel Amendment abolishen slavery
ez fraud wich we are not called upon 10 recog
niZc.
Resolred, That Niger is inferior bein, and
that whoever asserts his rite to any ekaity with
| the proud sooperior Caucashen race is fanatic
and agitator, and ought not to be allowed to live
| in free country.
ResolCed, That we deny the rite NV the Niger
to vote, and brand them ez urge 1t ez enemies NV
Resoiced, That we hold steadfastly to the doc
trine of State rites, the rite nv secesson and the
rite NV each State to govern itself IL pleases.
ResOiUed That the laws agin marryin nigSers
| should, for the perteckshen nv our young men,
| be more rigidly enforced than ever.
ResOiced, That all legislashen agin the likker
| interest is uy--
| Good read no longer. | dropped the
paper and CRASHED my teeth.
" Is this yoOr idee NV suthin progress
ive?" asked ais this yoor noshen NV
buryin dead ishoos? Is this yoor idee
NV getting 1nto the van vi pupiiG oPln ~
Tur and hevin sum advanced noshensT
"Ips all the Democrisy we knew any
thing about" sed lssaker, and Deeklr
Pogram comm up remarkt that he he(
stood onto sich platform ez that eve
since he he'd voted, and it wuZ good enul
for him.
1t wuz no use to argue with them, TO
they are iron-clads. l merely remarkt t.
T EN- that while they wuz about 1t the.
ought to hev resolved suthin about tn
stamp-act, Hampden's opposishen t.
ship-money, the Punic wars, Alexander
invashen NV Asia, and above all thing
they should hev protested agin the in
posishen NV the Egypshens in requiri
the Israelites to make briX without straw
"The trouble with them resolooshen
is" sed /, with witherin look at en-
. "the slhbjeX is too recent"
And 1 strobe hastily away. The resC
!, looshens wuz in print, and go North. Ho
cant git them old noshens out uv.the hea
NV an old line Democrit any more the
yoo kin keep EN- from drinkin cor
whiskey. 1t hez alluz been my misfo
! choon to hev asses to deal with. Heavo
help me; how much 1 hev to endoor
o their hands.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
, witch yyuz pOstmaster1