The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1874-08-22
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

Caesar Grants toga-Saratoga. .-Roehes-
ter Express.
The Springfield Union calls s' Mary had
lettle lamb,'' generally admitted histor-
ical truth.
Milwaukee Sentinel: When Louis
vile person has ear-ache, the wholesale
price of Gotten increases.
Steamers now leave the port Of New
York every day in the year except Fridays
and Mondays.
According to the Los Animas (Colorado)
Leader, Leavenworth is written '11worth''
in that region, and Wyandott is abbrevia-
ted to 'sY&.''.
Bayard Taylor has concluded not to ex-
plore the heart of Africa, and those obitu-
ary notices may as well be distributed
Detroit Free Press.
The Burlington Hawkeye remarked, on
publishing Titon's letter: GA huge blush
covers the face of the American people this
Uue HcNS lS utWS.
Boston Post: An old fellow in Portland
got a suit Of clothes thirty six years ago,
and has been married in it four times. He
must be good at pressing his suits.''
On behalf of the forty million people of
this nation, we protest against anybody
starting any further reports about Anna
Dickinson getting married.-N. T. Tele-
gram.
Provided Canon Kngsly still yearns for
an American to bury in Westminster Alb
bey, the St. Louis Journal sagely hints that
Brooklyn will afford HIM q choice of two OF
three. Anything-anywhere.
Boston Globe: A woman died of con-
sumption in Jeffersonville, KY, the other
day, and the man who wrote her obituary says
"she gently strode into the dark cave of
eternal night at 6a o'clock in the morning. -
eff you enter this room, it will be over
my dead body" says Susan B. to Theodore
T. That sounds very much like the warn
ing she is reported to have uttered before
the Pass of Thermopyle. - Worcester Press.
1t is reported that when Beecher first
heard that the Council Bluffs Nonpdrei
was outspoken against him, he exclaimed
in despair, 81 am undone," and bowed his
head in his hands and wept.-Omaha Her.
aid.
General Grant to our vinegar-faced fel.
low countrymen-"L us have peace. "
Sanguinary red man, enticing frontier set.
ler with the persuasions Of the tomahawk
-"Let us have top piece. ."-Brooklyn ar.
gus.
| Detroit Free Press: Buffalo says Detroit
is sleepy town, but let man stand on &
corner here at midnight and yell out fol
somebody to waltz up to him, and in five
minutes he'll think Fourth of July pro-
cession is passing.
The. neatest review of the address of the
Union Republican Congressional Commit
tee must be credited to the New York Tri
bUne. The Tribune thinks ''no citizen OF
the United States after reading it will evel
again vote for James Buchanan"
Detroit Free Press Chicago women are
cool. When husband is brought home
| dead his wife does MT utter a single how
until she has searched his pockets and sat.
isfied herself that he hadn't any letters
| from any other women, then she gives way
| to her grief.
St Louis like Brooklyn has a "great sor
row." A young lady on Olive street, who
didn't get new dress which she wanted
and who is tired of the color of the old one
has written to her hearts friend conclud.
ing: 81 even wish that | might dye"-
st Louis Journal.
| One sad result of the panic Is that severa
have felt constrained, by way of economy
to give up their church pews. If business
don't pick up soon, we fear some Of our cit
zens will be obliged to sell one or two oi
their bull dogs.-Narquette Mining Jour.
| nat .-.. -.
The Milwaukee News accuses Butler o.
having written an ode to the comet. 1t il
| not generally known that Ben. is possessed
of considerable ability as poet. Severa
| specimens of his amorous verses survive
and bear evidence that he began to get
"spoony" at a very early age.
| The astromical editor of the Memphis
A0a1anche is of the opinion that the tail o.
Coggia's comet is made up of Alexander H
Stephens old editorial paragraphs in the
Atlanta Sun. If this theory be the correct
one, that comet has a much longer ant
denser tail than most astronomers suppose
Neto York Mail.