Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1874-01-17
A vigorous Hair Tonic.
HOW PEORIA MAN SAVED ONE HUNDRED DO
LARS BY WEARING A WIG.

HOW PEORIA MAN SAVED ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS BY WEARING WIG.
over a year ago, many people who are yet liv-
ing In Peoria, were made acquainted with one
Mr.. Cummings, pilgrim whose mission In this
nature, and where she had removed the HAIR
from the head Of man, Cummings would replace
the capillary substance on the summit of the
Uranium, causing the barren goesiness of the
luxuriance. At least he tried to do this, and
charged accordingly. His hair restorative was
the eighth wonder of the world. 1t would briu z
hair out on gste-post, and spoonful rubbed on
alink of ssusages would cover the palatable CYL
inders with comfortable covering OF black and
tan, white with nver-colOred spots, or a
heavy brindle, as the case might be. There
never was such hair doctor as this Cummings,
and he went around among the "water- melon
erently compared, with great success. That's,
he sold many bottles of his famous onguent
though 1t was sadly noticed that no very aston
isbiDg increase in the hair crop followed the
sales. Venerable parties rubbed their polls
until they were 30 slippery and smooth that
flies altghting thereon, slipped Off and broke
their necks; still no hair appeared. But to en-
courage them Cummings, made contracts with
all obstinate cases, and they who were of the
bald, badly, signed agreements with the great
American hair-lifter to bring hair on their head
for SlOO, money to be paid when the capillary
promulgated An eminent jurist took hand in
this game, several distinguished distillers, a
notwithstanding but young hearted gentle
man connected with an Administered journal,
an eminent banker, and several others, whose
heads variously resembled the half ripe splotch
on watermelon, all signed and took bottle
to begin with, and watched for the coming of
the auburn, raven and golden tresses. Bald
headed victims, waiting for hair-day after
day-no hair. Atlast one man grew tired. He
used up his last bottle and then bought a wig a
first class affair, whose soft, wayy tTesses fell in
ripping masses over his marble brow, and was
so natural that It deceived even the BARRIERS
who would want to shampoo it, and would tel
him it was growing too long, or it had been mis-
erably cut, wherever he had il done, and he en-
joyed all this. But in an evil hour he went to
Chicago, and at the hotel he met no other than
this man Cummings. The "hairist" was glad
delighted, overjOyed to see him and shook hands
with him, and thought that he would shake
that 800 out of him on the spot.
"A our hair has come out splendidly, Mr.. Hen
Messy, )" he said "beautifuily, sir, beautifully;
| never saw a finer case"
The Peorisn didn't know what to do. He
didn't want everybody in that hotel to know
that he wore a wig and he didn't want to pay
500 to keep his secret. He hurriedly said
something about going east and would be back
in q few days and see him. This was too thin
for the hair man and he said so. He had never
known his hair medicine to achieve such a sue
cess before, and he wasn't going TO lose the ben
ettof it,. He demanded his 500; the Peorian
declined; the hartman insisted, his customer
refused lin towering passion the capillary
farmer disappeared, and before train time the
indignant Peorian saw his trunks pointed out
TO constable who Immediately seized them,
and the man of the wig was in the clutches of
the hair doctor.
"1ou can't play that on me Mr.. Hennessey'
said the resolute hair tinker; ''you've got your
hair, want my 800. Here's your contract"
"Want the DEVIL" roared the exasperated
man. "Want your Sl00!" Work for it then, Won
nfauOus,old fraud! Sell hair medicine for It,
you ignomnous old shock-headed, bare-faced
swindle! Want a hundred dollars Shades of
Esau, am going to pay you 500 for such
head as that?',
And in desperation he tore OF his wig aud
shook his ivory plated head in the scalD-tin-
ker's face. The wretched vender of hair guano
gave one Mortified look and slid, and Mr.. Hen
Messy, clapping his wig on hiniside foremost,
kicked the astOnished constable off his trunks
and left Chicago, his 500 saved, but the admit
ration of people who admired his beautiful hair,
farnnpr lost.