The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-05-19
THE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING, HAY 10, 1874
Gossip and Gleanings.

TUESDAY MORNING. MAY 10, 1874
Gossip and Gleanings.
He IS coming, sure enough. Martin Far
quhar Tupper. Let's go.
The Pope addresses the wife of the Pre-
tender, Don Carlos, as "Your Majesty.v
1t IS rarely that the veteran Pontiff cracks a
joke, but when he does it's a royal one.
Boston Globe: "Any wife to any husband"
during the month of May: ''And you just go
round and ask the landlord If he won't put
some more hooks into that closet" ri
Ohio boasts of the Oldest railroad engineer
in the United States. He has officiated al sew
eral first-class 'holocausts," and looks for
ward to more with all the confidence and
buoyancy of his early manhood.
Ihe man who lnvents pew stool that a
worshiper can approach with his foot without
having it fly up and make noise in the mid
die OF sermon, will supplant an Astor in
wealth and Washington in fame.
Joaquin Miller insists that Alfred Tennyson
is the greatest poet, and the latter SAYS tina,
Joaquin is. The argument is getting warm;
but we apprehend that there will be no blood
shed.
"Business sp'-Bath.chairman, dispose
the Duke of Edinbory and his Missis will be
by direc.ly?" Policeman. ''No, they won't.
They amt in town." ath-chairman. Saint
they? I say, if that old lady in my chair asks
you, say you don't know cause she's
waitin' to see 'em, and rm engaged by the
hour:'
A fashion periodical states that ''first
communion dress should consist of a Swiss
muslin skirt and dress, ETC., ETC.. and ''con-
frmation robe'' should be a skirt, oyerskirt,
blouse W aist and mantelet, etc., etc. Now
what we want to know is, what ought we to
wear at the opening of Maguire's new drink
ing saloon next Tuesday?
Cleveland papers are beginning to get un-
easy about a thing called ''patent pave
ment," which has just been introduced
there. Cleveland is young yet in the ways
of patent pavement, and her protest
does not reach the rich resonance of that
prolonged howl with which more experienced
communities make the welkin ring.
Colonel Rice, when he picked up the two
bullets welded in the air by the force and
heat of percussion, and had them elegantly
mounted and preserved, was perhaps uncon-
sciously paying his silent tribute to the re-
constructed Union. The North and the
South hurled themselves together with crash
and heat, and there they stick forever.
Mocking birds can initiate human actions
as well as human voices, it seems. A Macon,
Ga, paper says that two pets of this stripe
got jealous of each other and undertook to
fight it out in desperate fashion. One of
them. getting enough of it, sang out "quit,
quit" and followed this up by crying ''police,
police" And, oddly enough, there was a
policeman within hearing who came up and
stopped the fight.
Some days ago a letter was received in New
Orleans, directed to ''the biggest fool in New
Orleans" The Pos tmaster was absent, anC
on his return one of the young clerks in
formed him of the letter. 'And what be-
nf II 90 inunroI fho
''Why," replied the clerk, 81 did not know
who the biggest fool in New Orleans was, SO
l opened the letter myself" 'And what did
you find in it?" inquired the Postmaster
why" replied the clerk, ''nothing but the
words, Thou art the manr'
Territorial Enterprise: We don't know
who he is, but we yesterday overheard the
following fragment of conversation in regard
to him, and feel quite confident that he is a
resident of our city: His Admirer-' He's a
very fine liberal gentleman; he plays blue
chips" Prospective Admirer-'Does he 20
His Admirer-"O yes; he sets 'em in high
when he's got the money. Yes, he's fine,
iOoA"A SCACiCihdAs IIOSpcCtlNc AunHlIcI-
mo doubt. Now, he's the kind of man to
know. Regular gentleman
A Philadelphia broker, worth at one time
quarter of million of dollars, is now ped
ding books for livelihood. He derives his
largest income from thrilling brochure en-
titled, "a Programme of the Philadelphia
Centennial" Persons whom he importunes
to buy acopy promptly knock him down, and
he RECEIVERS from IS to $40 from each of them
| in an action for assault and battery. This is
but another instance of the depths to which
| the administration of fjustice in Pennsylvania
has sunk.
| An Evansville man has proved himself a
| satirist, though probably at the time he ut
| tered the words which have since made him
famous he was unconscious OF the stingne
sarcasm contained in the lew syllables refer
ing to prominent feature OF American life
He had fallen into ditch on the outskirts o1
the town, in such manner that he was un