The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-11-18
The New Ladies' Man

We anticipated this company some
time since. II was indirectly heral-
ded in various communications to the
New York papers on the difficulties
Of maiden ladies who had neither
psppas nor big hru,hers 1t Is the
"Con,missionaire Company" and the
hame IL nearly as pleasant as if It
amounted TO millionaire or some 9TH
or expensive luxury The New York
Times has had the extreme pleasure
of perusing circular Of the Commits
sionaire Company, and it presents
the prominent points Of the circular
A eommissionaire, for instance, "will
call at your rooms and clean your
clothing;;" which shows that the com-
missionaire is by no means above any
kind Of business. Again, the COM
missionaire will collect your bills
o very nice arrangement, indeed; but
we do wish the gentleman would fnd
ways and means to pay your bills,
with a fair percentage in his behalf,
of course. Furthermore the commits
sionaire "wiIl secure you seats for the
theater, and, if desired, he will wait
upon the lady to and from such en-
tertainments, appearing in fine even
ing dress" Nothing could be pleas
antersthan this, we presume, for in
stance, it is a great source Of difficult
ty in many American families that
the family have an ardent desire TO
70 to the theater, while the head OF
the family desires to go to the club
or to another theater; and with an es-
cort for the family sin fine evening
dress,n there could be no possible
trouble. 1t Il true that the commits
sionaire mentions "the lady only"
but surely, if he is good enough to
clean your clothing, be could not OBJ
ject to an addition to the lady in the
persons of the elder children, and per-
haps the nurse and the baby. Again,
as the Times suggests, "few men
can afford to buy themselves fine
evening dresses nowdavs,n and fan
cy the pleasure under that deplorable
circumstance Of seeing your family
taken to the theater ''in the evening
dressp for the exceedingly low price
of few paltry dollars. The duties
of the commissionaire have by no
means been wholly enumerated, how
ever. That blessed man will ap-
pear at your private parties" which
is in itself great desideratum. He
will .'carry your child or push the
baby carriage;;r be will carry parcels
or remove furaiture, and, TO tell the
truth, we scarcely know what be
won't do, unless it is to vote the
Democratic ticket and 10 other ways
TO be disreputable. Witness this
which we are assured by the Times
is taken bodily from the circular:
"The commissionaire will attend
your lady when making calls. shop.
ping &c. acting as 1ackey,' deliver
ing visiting cards, protecting her by
umbrella from the sun and storm, OF
falling on slippery day; on all such
occasions be win appear in elegant
servants livery, imported from Paris
and Vienna.
Now we take this commissionairt
to our heart. He is the embodiment
of high life and low life, the usefu
and ornamental, the simple and The
scientific. the coarse and the aesthetic
10 his corporate capacity be answers
the requirements Of a dozen husbands
He gives the husband the sweet priv
iIege of providing his wife with limo
cent amusement, or rather his legiti
mate business. There is but one
step further for the excellent commits
sioaaire. Would be kindly consent
to assume the entire responsibility il
case of accident or somethingl Would
be be good enough to do the Satur
day night sparking-but. good heiT
ems we have followed this logic too
| far. Let him assume to any such re
sponsibility as that and we shall tsk'
extreme pleasure in wringing th'
commissionaire's nose.-Rochestel
Democrat