The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-12-18
AN EXTRAORDINARY INVENTION
"The SOIId-CongeaIed Process"


"The SOlId-COngealed Process"
Max Adeler contributes this to the
Danbury News:
A man came to see me the other day
and said that he had a very sueful in
vention, which he would like to describe
to me so that I could make a notice of
il in the paper.
81 want TO explain to you" he said, "a
new process I have invented for the
manipulation of cadavers. It's the
most beautiful thing of the age. You
take an interest in medicine, | s'pose ?
Well, you will be delighted with this.
You know the great trouble with cada-
vers is that the organs will collapse.
S'pose'n, for instance, 1 was to cut you
up. S'pose'n was going to examine
your left lung. Why, before I'd got
half way down to it, it would be all
shrunk, all kinder shriveled up and shut
together, like that-jes' like that felt hat
when you've been sitting on it."
"Indeed! was not aware
"Yes, indeed? And it's the same way
with your other organs. If / was in
vestigating your stomach or your throat,
or any of your ducts and glands, they'd
all collapse and lose their rotundity and
fall in kinder like old sausage skins, 40
that / couldn't have any satisfaction in
dissecting you"
"That would be disheartening."
"Disheartening That's not the word.
It's worse than that It's awful rough
on the doctors and it impedes the pro-
gress of science. When I tackle you
with dissectiDg knife, for instance, i
want to see just how you look inside
how you look now, when you are alive.
wouldn't give cent to examine in
you when the walls of your inwards are
all doubled up and curly"
Neither would /. IL would be very
uninteresting."
"Well, then, don't you see, what we
want is to fix you up somehow SOS this
can't happen SOS when souse into
you, your virals III look natural and
perfect and properly distended. A col
lapsed corpse is nuisance; but one
that's prepared right is worth morn
when it was alive"
"You surprise me-"
"Yes, sir. Well, now, I've discovered
how to do this thing sois it'll be ship
shape and according to Gunther. And
the way do it is by the use of what /
call The Solid CONCEALED Process
Don't understand it, hey2 Well, it's
simply splendid. 1t makes the most
satisfying cadaver you ever saw. Per-
fectly lovely. I guess I've turned out
some of the most fascinating remains
that ever went on a college table, and
the doctors are just wild about it,"
"What's the peculiar method Of
Of"
"WelP spose, now, | wanted to get
you ready for the sophomore class round
here at the college. The first thing I'd
do would be to plunge you into zinc
box, part filed with certain chemicals
which keep a secret. l keep you shut
up there for four or five hours, accord
ing as you're fat or lean, and when take
you out you're froze-you're froze hard,
or kinder hard, just SOS you won't be
actually brittle. A brittle cadaver is
simply spoiled, unless you can thaw
him out even, all through, and that's
difficult"
81 should think So"
"If you're froze properly, you're
ready for business. And you'd be aston
ished to find how convenient and valua-
bic you are. If cut you in half, there
have all your organs just as they were
in life. If split you down vertically
you present a beautiful spectacle. If
make diagonal cut, there's everything
in the most delightful condition. And
all this time, mind you, you cut just as
easy as old cheese, little crumbly, may
be, but still firm and not bit pulpy."
at would be bad to be pulpy."
"Yes, and ten chances to one / can
take you and begin at your shoulders
and slice you down inch by inch just
like Bologna sausage, and you all the
time presenting the most imposing views
of your diaphragm and such places, and
preserving hard, shiny surface that
makes it a pleasure to keep the knife a
going. tell you it's great-it's abso-
lutely Great that's what it is, and sci
ence has got big thing in it. If you
don't exactly understand it, I'll"
"Oh, understand it perfectly"
Because, if you don't, was going to
say I'd freeze a subject and bring il
round in my buggy and let you gouge it
with your penknife, just to see. No ?
Don't want to All right. But you say
something about it in the paper, won't
you, and I'll solidify pig or chicken
for you, SOS you can see for yourself.
Good morning"