The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-08-14


, touch him gently on the shoulder;
he is not present at the time. the
J cheerfully postpone their remark.
which, after all, is a very rationa
way Of doing things. 1 cannot hel
wishing-but no matter; I am i
iother climes just now.
l must not forget to speak of thei
system OF marriage. The wome
are, without single exception, beau
tiful: the men remarkably hideou;
As with us, the women are considere
minutely inferior to the men, an
therefore hold the place of homo
amongst them. They enjoy ever,
luxury that the cheerful selfsaerifc
of the men can afford; they ar
treated with the most tender respec
land their slightest wish Is consulted
and, when practicable, promptly graf
flied. The men work that the Wo
men may live at ease; and regard
their toll but as precious means o.
| gaining one feminine smile; the mer
deVotedly loYe-the women gracious
ly allow it; snd yet there are nc
woman's rights in Gubmuh.
When you love fair GubmuhgheC
you are supposed to love all tbs
family for her sake; therefore, you
must
MARRY THE HOUSE,
as it is called, and this includes any
one who happens to be inside on the
wedding morning. 1 cannot helI
thinking that the Mormons must
have got some of their ideas from
Gubmuh.
After I had been some little time
a guest of the Chief Magistrate,
had an opportunity of seeing some
of the laws of Gubmuh. 1 was
thrown into prison for some trihng
ofense { [ forget what it was, now
and shortly afterWard brought up
for trial. 1 was much struck by the
appearance of the court. The
Judge, instead of being elevated
above the counsel, audience, and
witnesses, as in this country, sat
in sort of a well, in the middle OF
the floor, and put his head up
through trap door when he want
ed to say anything. The counsel
wore tights, and had their heads
shaved; and, indeed, the practical
sense of this arrangement cannot be
too highly commended, for a varie-
ty of reasons which would be out of
place here.
The jury consisted of two hundred
householders; and the verdict Of the
minority was conclusive. The calm
and impartial spirit which seemed
to animate the whole proceedings
was a lesson to every age and coun-
try. 1 was unanimously acquitted
by one of the jury; and left the
court, as the Judge declared, "With-
out particle OF virtue in my char
acter."
If we could only imitate-but l
am depressing.
On my return to the house Of the
Chief Magistrate, his second daugh-
ter came up to me and said, "You
brute! I'm so sorry you've got OFF,
Vulgar MINK" 1 returned, with
a low bow, ''if you please" (The
reader understands that this meant
thank yO1,)
Then her father approached, with
furious look, and said: I trust
that we shall soon see the last of
yOU-you miscreant~
"You are intole-ably disagreea-
bler' said I pulling his nose vio-
lently; for they never shake hands
in Gubmuh.
Then we sat down to fill ourselves; +;
an operation which bears some re-
sembIance to dining, with US. A
pleasant party we were! My place
was next to the second daughter,
and was happy. Why should 1
disguise it's so short q sketch as
this? 1 was
VIOLENTLY IN LOVE WITH HER.
1t would hardly be possible to go
through adventures of this kind
without falling in love with some
body; the only difficulty, and the
one which most painfully beset me,
Was-hOW the deuce was IL all To
end?
Many weary midnight hour did
1 pass in thinking over this. At
last-glorious inspiration!-I hit
upon a plan for carrying off my be-
loved without the formality of
marrying the house,, and retiring
with pleasing precipitancy to my
native land, where I determined to
warm baths for cold, and
live happily ever afterwardl
l found her in the garden, digging
up grapes. approached her softly,
and clasped her in my arms.
"Cluteh me tighterp' she cried
Historically.
"You hag," breathed into her
ear, 81 hate you! Ever since 1 first
beheld your stunted figure, and
heard your nasal twang, 1 have
loathed the very sight of you. /
would not marry you for millions!"
Overpowered by the usual feeling,
she slapped my face, pulled my hair,
and bit a piece out of my finger.
JOY! IT WAS MUTUAL!
1 led her to a convenient arbor
close by, and we sat down.
"You virulent shrew," said I, in a
fierce tone, "don't point your squint
eyes at me-" for she bashfully aver
ted her gaze from mine; "the ques-
ton isl dare you to prevaricate-
will you marry me or not2"
Then it came.
"Vicious beast" she Kissed,
through her beautiful teeth, "my
soul abhors your very beingw
"Angel!" shouted but instantly
corrected myself-"let US not stir
hence!" and, snatching her up in my
arms, 1 rushed to a convenient spot,
cut the cords which kept the weights
to our respective ankles, and next
minute we we're flying up into the
heavens at the rate Of a hundred
miles an hourl
1t was delicious! The pure, clear
bathed US in its dewy
radiance, the azure heavens smiled
approval on our courage and
devotion, the picturesque beauties
of Gubmuh sank rapidly to rest be-
meath our eager feet, while above
good gracious!-the confer of gray