The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1874-04-02
.E-ons the Cincinnati Weekly Times.
MARRIAGES AND HOMES.
BY, NELLY, MARSHALL M,AFEE'

Every woman entertains her own positive,
neculiar. and distinct ideas upon these TWO
Subjects, Marriages and Homes.
Nine, if !candidly expressed in these mod
ern times, may seem bizarre and soutre, nut
they, can, at least, claim the distinction OF
being the moral and social conVlcSlons Oh al
intelligent human being. -. Z, 81. .,,
70 Give full expose of my opinions / will
nrobably find myself assuming, in my essay,
The form .of minister's sermen-with "a
asecondly" and "thirdly," and, for aught L
know. q ss6fthly" and "sixthly," before the
;sslastly" comes, for the subjects are two whose
hare cortemplation awakens my thought, and
fires my.heart with a divine glow.
Somewhere long: while. oago-l read
paragraph not longer than y,little finger,
but it was so full of condensed soul and
sense that 7 committed it to memory. 1t ran
thus:
;s5ttSix things are requisite to create happy
home.' Integrity must be the architect, and
tidiness, the upholsterer. 1t must. be warmed
by affection, land lighted up with cheertulness,
and industry must be the ventllator, renewing
the atmosphere, and bringing IN fresh saluorlty
day bv day: while over all, as q protecting
glory and canopy, nothing will suffice except
the glory Of God" /
This paragraph awakened me to a sincere
study ofsocial and marital relations as they do,
and as they should, exist; and my study has
enabled me to crystalize into an essay the
convictions born of that profound contempia-
ton. -
Of course, I confne myself within the strict
Jurisdiction of the feminine sphere and do
this consciously and advisedly, because 1-know
what ought to be required of men. AS con-
sequence Iaddress myown sex, collectively ana
individually. =, J..
Young ladies engrossed with the idea of
bridal wells, and orange. blossoms, and hand
some trousseou1, seldom if ever give a thought
unless vaguely, to the happiness and content
lifelong crown of glory, after the marriage
ceremony and honeymoon are over and gone.
Sometimes they choose lazy men sometimes
they fall in love with moustache, or a fast
Young man who dances gracefully and rides
horseback well, whose pantaloons are fashlona-
bly cut, whose boots are always we'll polished,
whose hair is pomaded and artifcially curled,
and who perfumes himself with Lows and
Bazin's,. and Lubin's extracts, as Rimmel per-
fumes his gilt-edged paper and embossed en-,
velopes-to distraction who loafs around and
is afraid to work, for fear of spoiling his hands
or his clothes; who is always going out to see
a man." who dislikes water as much as a;dog
does when afflicted with hydrophobia;. and
who has abolished the Seventh Commandment
ninety-nine and one times; en- bret, good
for-nothing dandy, who, once wed, is likely
to make his wife unhappy as long as she
lives.
Others "fall in love" with street-corner-
watching gentry, or such ilk as hang around
church doors on Sunday "to see the girls come
out"
If girls of eighteen had only the experience
and Judgment that generally comes to them by
the time they are twenty five, these loungers
would disappear from the face of the earth
like frogs when the first snow falls But, alas
they have not, and consequently the severe and
bitter recipe will never be given them as a
curative test.
Modern tlemoiselles do not know how to make
such parlor knights "stand in the cold' nor
now to give them "the mitten." And so they
marry lazy, Aippant, good-foT-nothing young
men, and settle themselves down, sooner or
later, to lives of sorrow, disappointment and
chagrin, instead of urging them first to 60 to
work earnestly and honestly, and endeavor to
be sober and industrious in order to win them.
A woman selecting a husband, or being
sought as wife, ought to know before she
Yields her heart or hand, whether the sultor
has profession or trade; whether he is
skillful artisan or, thrifty, industrious farmer
up early and late, able to do his own work,
and not ashamed of it either; whether bis
t'hobby" is to complain of "hard times" instead
of struggling to brighten them, whether ne
knows how to manage fortune II ne mas one;
whether he works six days in his profession,
and on Sunday rests, and goes to church to
praise God. = 2.
If they would take the trouble to find out
these things, they would never have cause to
regret their marriage-they would always love
and respect their husbands; and, moreover,
never lack a well-provided home.
But they don't take the trouble! They 60
on, as they will probably continue to do while
the earth revolves on its, axis, estimating a
young mans worth by the nicely Of the tailor's
fit, the length and sickness of his moustache,
and his ability to talk opera and soft nom
sense.
One fact, if, generally known, is too often
forgotten, and that is, that love and confidence
are the foundation stones of perfect DOM estic
bliss; that without these all is chaos and doubt
and despair, and happiness is myth lingering
only in the hearts Utopia.
There is trite aphorism about Love flying
out at the window when Poverty comes in at
the door, There is no truth in this where the
affection existing is genuine and, indeed,
there is never need for more fortune than that
which insures comfort.
Those persons who marry with moderate
means are generally the ones who taste the
pnanthic ether of life. No matter which one
brings the 'lucre" to the domestic treasury, SO
that the hearts are in the right place. And
certain it is that such domestic bliss is founded
upon rock Happiness is another name tor
love; for where love is there is happiness also !;
and with these there is cOntentment too, tor
true love inspires forbearance and .gentleness /;
and these domestic qualities everan always
flood home with eternal sunshine bright and
visible and blessed as the smile of God
"A young woman leaving the tender arms of
the parents who have hitherto cherished her
and guided her footsteps, to go to safe and
honorable protection in the very bosom of love
and honor, should lay aside, at once, and for
ever the hauteur, and passion, and selfcon-
sideration, that often stamps her character in