The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-01-31
HUMOROUS.

Upon the arrival of train In
Germantown, the other day, an old lady
affectionately greeted stylish young
lady as follows: "Why, how'd do,
Mariar? Why, how funny ye look!
Didn't hardly know ye! Got your
false teeth, amt ye?" Maria changed
the subject.
There is boy near the depot who
is accustomed to 60 out on the railroad
track and initiate the steam whistle SO
perfectly as to deceive the fagman at
the station. His last attempt proved
eminently successful; the depot master
came out and switched him off.
When young lady gives herself
away, does she lose her self possession?
"A private in the army sent letter
to his sweetheart, closing with: "May
heaven cherish and keep you from
yours truly, John Smith"
"A captain finding an Irish boy,
during the middle watch, frying some
ham and eggs he had stolen from the
ships stores, called out to him, "You
lubber, you, I'll have none of that"
Faith, Captain, I've none for YOU"
said the lad.
A negro in Virginia went to sleep
with his head on railroad track, and a
hand-car came along and ran over him.
He got up swearing that he couldn't
get any rest anywhere without some
white man would come along to bother
him.
An 1rishman on his first shooting
excursion shot a bird, and seeing some-
thing fall, went to the foot Of the tree,
and picking up frog, supposing it to
be a bird, put it in his pocket. The
frog kent up such q continual hopping
that his companion asked him what
made the bird hop so, "Och," said
Pat, "the poor thing is could; shot all
the feathers Off"
One OF Jones' constituents, who
had a remarkably red nose, having
fallen asleep in a BARRIERS chair, ne
gro boy who was waiting to get shorn
of his wool, observed mosquito how
e,ing around his face. Quashey eyed
1t very attentlvely. At last it lit upon
the said nose, and instantly flew Oft
again. "Yah yah I" he exclaimed,
with great gIee, "me berry glad to see
you burn your fut dat time"
Emma" said little girl to q
schoolmate, wouldn't it be awful if
some one shoot our teacher?" "Yes,"
was the reply; "but then, wouldn't it
be nice not to have any school %
-"Ah, my DEAR" said the philo-
sophie Miranda, "the arrangements of
nature ever excite my admiration. The
same wind which muses. our crinoline
blows dust in the eyes of young men
who are so anxious to examine It."
-Jinks has been indulging too freely
in ardent spirits. At n street corner
his hat dropped into the gutter. Says
Jlnks; ~ know If / pick you up I'll
fall, an you won't p-hic me-hic-up.
Good night" And he walked off with
smile of satisfaction, describing in
Vulnerable zig-zags as he went, leaving
his hat in the gutter.
-"Sympathy," says John Paul, sis
something which never withhold from
those in trouble, whether they happen
to be fIiends or not there's nothing
mean about me. find, too, that one
can go around shedding sympathy on
ali sides for weeks at time, without
spending cent, or being at much per-
sonal inconvenience.
"A little boy, hearing the phrase
that Matches ara made In heaven"
said she should thhk they could be
made easier In the other place, where
the birthstone is." This youngsters
practical turn Of mind viii probably
save him from bccoming gloomy seq
tartan, ....