The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1874-07-10
VARIETIES.

"A Phllanthroplst proposes to muzZlc
the boys during the green apple season.
mine judges out of ten are baldhead-
becausg- they itaptn-i- gdc dhy mir"we
guess.
"A man was boasting that he had been
married for twenty years and had never
given his wife cross word Those
who know him best say he didn't dare to.
"A Kentucky farmer says that three
good bull dogs roaming the yards nights
will do more good to keep man honest
than all the talking in the world.
"A French Canadian, unable to speak a
word of English, was married at Ottawa,
last week, to girl who couldn't speak q
word of French. They anticipate unspeak-
able happiness.
Aunt Susan says: "Spose all the men
were in one country, all the women in
another, with big river between, and no
boats or bridges, good gracious what lots
of poor women would be drowned"
"A New York politician, in writing a
letter of coincidence to the widow ola de-
ceased member of the Legislature, says: ~
cannot tell you how panied was to hear
that your husband had gone to Heaven.
We were bosom friends, but now we shall
never meet again"
The fellow who declared he could
name any liquid blindfold "gave it up
when he was handed sip from the pump.
sit reminds me" he said, of something
have tasted in my youth, but for the life OF
me can't tell what it is"
Why was Adams first day the lopgesta
Because there was no Eve. When did Alb
SALON sleep five in bed When he slept
with his forefathers. Why did Job always
sleep cold? Because he had miserable
comtorters.
Some dispositions see everything on
the darkest side. "Nice weather for corn
said minister up the valley to one of his
parishioners, the other day. "Yes," said
the old farmer, "but bad for grain and
grass" A few days later they met again
"a fine rain we had yesterday" said the
minister, good for grass and grain" "Yes,
was the reply, "but awful bad for corn"
Scene in a graveyard. Wife-"Al
husband, do you see this beautiful cappingi
| How delicately cut is the pure white stone!'
Eyes, very pretty" Wife-"But, William
have you no taste for art you don't enjoy
these things as do. just notice this slen,
der column of marble, with the touching
question so beautifully carved, DO they
miss me at home y" "Yes, / see; and
here is her name on the foot stone, G. A
b. Yes, l guess they miss her if that wal
her name" Silence for moment.
| An action was recently brought in 8
Canadian court for the sum of$2. Counse
had been employed, and the plaintiff.
counsel was proceeding to state the case
when the Judge, throwing a 81 bill to thu
clerk, said, "There's the money each part,
pays his own costs" The defendant,
counsel objected, on the ground that Piles
had been entered, when the Judge exclaim
ed. "Do you think l am going to sit her,
halfa day to listen to pleas on an actor
for $2l My time is worth more than that
Call the next case"
"A Cornwall man told us that his cattl
were so gentle and kind that they followed
him all over the farm, and in passing
haystack they would often call him, upol
which he obligingly gave each one loci
of hay. The traits referred to are not un
common among domesticated animals
We were visiting family last week in til
vicinity of Goshen, and, having occasion
to cross field where male cow was gra
zing, when he followed us to the gat
with an eager expression, and, lifting th
gate off its hinges, he took after us at full
! speed. No doubt he would have Gale,
when we passed haystack, but the folk
were waiting dinner for us and we couldn'
stop. SO we left our coat.tail and por
ton of our pants on the gentle creature
horns, and went into the house.