The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1874-06-11

wanted him to. he thOu&nI ana InOu&06
and scratched his head over the problem,
and his lower Jaw fell. and for two days
he pondered sorrowfully over this new
dilemma.
One day Betsey was going over to her
cousins to quilting, and Ira was to keep
house and have the tea-kettle boiling at
i've O'Clock in the evening.
Now, nobody would guess what an
ugly thing old Brother Ira did In her alb
sence. Oh, the selfish old churl was driv.
en- to it! he knew it wasn't manly or
kind, but how could he give up his cozy
quarters and see Betsey's smiles lavished
upon anotherf
Poor fellow, he arraigned himself, and
while under Indictment he said: Now,
Ira Josephus Barnabee, you know very
well that you are the viciousest mortal
that ever lived, but something must be
done. You don't want to be set adrift
and be compelled to try the realities of .
cruel world that always was hard on
orphans and poor folks!"
Ira often dealt with pathos on the fact
of his being an orphan. He was not .
very tender orphan, being in his forty.
seventh year; but that is the way with
some people, they will howl over one old
time, by.gone sorrow all through their
lives.
Ira knew that Madame Wilkins, de-
ceased, had been . very pink of house
keeper, and the bereft Squire thought
this requirement the one thing needful in
. wife. She must mop ali the floors
every Saturday, sweep down the cobwebs,
polish the tinware, and do ell the little
things that his mother used to do. Of
course her successor must be all she had
been.
After Betsey had been gone an hour or
two Ira walked leisurely over to the new
story-and-A-half frame house of Squire
Wilkins, and seated himself on the work.
bench and commenced playing with the
little curly shavings.
The Squire came in and began show
ing him round through the house very
courteously. When they were upstairs
Ira said: YOU'D ought to have your
rooms divided of like my sister Betsey
has; think hers are very convenient"
II wish had the plan of her rooms"
said the Squire, Frightening up as though
the idea tantalized him.
"Get your rule and come right over
along with me; there's nobody at holle
to-day, and we'll have full possession our
selves"
So the two men trudged off together to
Widow Betssy Bobbett's little rose-covered
cottage in the edge of the village.
Now don't wish to insinuate, but I
verify believe that Ira Josephus, the self.
ish old bachelor brother, had been all
through Rose Cottage, just trying how
badly he could tumble together the con.
tents, and what . suspicion he could cast
upon that little housekeeper, Betsey Bob.
bett In the pantry the doors of the cup
board stood staring wide open, showing
| heterogeneous mess of cold boiled cab
bage, pork, fish, turnips, pickles, butter
milk, and meatfryings, with nut-cakes,
broken pies, dry bread, ETC., etc. The
doors Of the clothes-press stood ajar, and
bonnets, hats, hose, CATERS, gowns and
slippers were thrown promiscuously to.
gether in tumbled heaps-dirty and
clean, broken and whole, all just a.
though tumbled out of rag.peddler's
wagon in q hurricane. The sitting.ro room
was in prime disorder; basket Of wal
nuts and plate of apples, with peelings
and cores among them, occupied place
in the middle of the floor. But her bed.
made; on one post hung q nightcap lit
| it was made of red flannel, without q
hem or binding; the back part of it was
puckered all up by q string run round in
it. On another post hung an old hoop.
skirt that looked as if it had come out of
Noah's ark after doing good service for
Noah's wife and his sons wives. Stock.
ings lay scattered about, aud shoes just as
they had been kicked of, corsets, bus
ties, underclothing, and all the ct cotera of
bedroom, in q dilapidated condition.
Ira acted very naturally, just as if every
thing was right and not unusual.
"Now, Squire, this bed.roo is good
size-'bout square, should think" said
the unimpressible Ira. taking the rule and
beginning to measure from the wall right
opposite the bed; take the measure and
see for YOURSELF" and he handed it to the
bereft widower.
He took it and continued on with the
same measurement that Ira had com.
menced. Of course it ran right under the
bed. Now beds wiA get dirty under them.
l don't know what's the reason, but the
first sign of disorder in a bedroom begins
with fluffness ON the carpet under it.
Then we women all know what q glorious
receptacle "under yon bed is for shoes,
boxes, dirty clothes, castof buds, and
anything one wants to put out of sight
"just for q. little while" Good house
their integrity as to let things get in q
to say whether Betsey Bobbett's bedroom
was generally tidy or not.
Dreadful, wasn't it, that just while the
Immaculate Squire was down on all fours,
away back under the bed, among feathers,
and straw, and boxes, and bundles, and
other things, patting little trip was
heard running up the stairs as light as
kittens springy step, and who should
come bounding into the room, curls a-iy.
ing, and eyes sparkling, and cheeks aglow,
but Betsy Bobbett herself!
"Oh, good heavens!" abe screamed, as
one glance of her eye took in the whole
scene.
Ira was standing leaning over, anxiously
watching the Squire, who was under the
bed, save that his legs were visible, or as
much of them - wore boots.
What does this mean? I'd like to-
know" she said, in q shrill voice, hold
ing up both trembling hands Is though
aghast with horror.
The Squire came hustling out, crab
style, from among the debris, with his
hair all pushed the wrong way, and the
tails of his coat turned up over his back.
He made great clang and chatter and
noise, and disarranged the hidden things
generally; but he got out ct last and tried
TO look like man who had been follow
ing . legitimate calling.
"Now, I say NO gentleman will enter q
lady's private room under such circum-
stances" said she, looking at the measur
ing rule; and especially In her absencel
It's horriblei It's awfnlr' and the poor
little thing clapped her hands up to her
face and s0bbed Historically.
He only wanted to measure the rooms
afore he planned his'n," said the brother,
in . bringing voice, looking ct his sister,
and feeling really sorry that matters had
taken such an unfavorable turn. His
plan had worked we'll, but hadn't stopped
there; it had gone on working; and he
couldn't zee, - he stood there scratching
his head, where the mischief would end.
II regret exceedingly, Mrs. Bobbett