, 1874-03-08

| - great naEd5lllp-Al uou steamer.
-As twice eleven is twonty-two, how can
! "a poor family in Green lay had to mortgage
Their six dogs Inst week to get barrel Of nour.
] The ease is pitabIe.
Adam had ono consolation when he fell.
| Fifteen OF twenty acluaintances didn't stand
! on the opposite corner and laugh at his mishap.
IA pack OF wolves in Sherburno County,
! Mimi, chased couple OF lawyers five miles,
| and the New Orleans Republican thinks it
| showed lack of professional courtesy.
The CongregatonaLst explains what itmeans
BY "GghtuiDg-bug piety, Bright while it lasts,
but cold, and soon out.
One can judge something Of the patience Of
Hoosiers from tho statement Of an Indiana pa
per that twenty men handled over thlrty-fyo
cords Of wood to got at Il rabbit
-"Wor-uk!" exclaimed q North CaroGnian
when offered q job, & do you s'poso wor-uk,
when coon-tracks are thick as grass-blales -
"A prominent business man III Cleveland
bears the name OF Jtdtjst, and people seldom
inquire if he is ia.
-''And did you hear him call her my dear OF
anything like that:" asked the lawyer. "No.
sir Of course not; why, she was his wifi o, all
swcred the lady Witness,
A -APennsylyauia debating society is engaged
upon the question, '' Whether an untidy woman,
with sweet temper, is to be preferred to tidy
one with sour temper?" TIC controversy, ac-
cordins to the last report, is still raging.
90 SUSIE" said 8 teacher to one Of her pupils
"you shouldn't mako faces Ioa'u grow up
Aonely if you MAKE faces" Susie looked thought
fully into the teachers face for a moment, and
then innocently asked: g Did you make faces
when you were Z little gi1l?"
-Sueezin: is very seldom heard IN parlors
now after the old folks have retired, for lovers
bear In mind the receipt given By Dr.. Brown
Sequard, that sneezinS can always be stopped
by pressing the upper Ap,-and act accordingly:
Boston Adeert1Se7.
a Frcnchman, condemned to death for mur-
derinE his wife and child without extenuating
circumstances, demurrcd to the sentence. be-
cause capital punishment had been abolished in
France for political oifenses. and he had killed
his wife and child for no other reason but be-
cause they were Lesitimists.
IA falthful brother 10 Fairfield (Conn.}
church recently prayed for the absent members
who we're prostrato on beds Of sickness aud
chairs OF Tellness."
railway bill, providing that .s no single person
should pay us fare moro than cents, was
amended, on motion OF Aid. Black, to include
also married people, and passed
"A little boy in q Nelson street family caught
his foot in some worsted with which his sister
was working the sentence, ':God is Love-" in
perforated cardboard, and got crack on The ear
that will lay him up for 3 fortnight-if it does
not iniuce him Tor life.-Danbur:y Aces.
AT Dieppe, in Trance, the following notice
police requested, when lady is in danger OF
drowning, to seize her by the dress, aud not hy
the hair, which o:tentimes remains in their
grasp"
Yes, chickens aro ilrger than they |
used to be ten years ago We couldn't pretend |
to get chickens az large as tI4ese.' Boarder, |
with an innocent air: No, I suppose not |
these must have grown good deal that time"
Lanclady looks as though abe ind been misun- |
aerstood.
"A gentleman who rather suspected some one |
WIS peeping through the key-hole Ut his Office |
door investigated with syringe full OF pepper !
sauce, and went home to find that his wife had |
been cutting wood, and q chip had Lit her in the |
eye.
-Wonen'e Rights-Ancicnt Lady-"Lct mo |
lriye you, Ai1Bs Sharp. 1t is quite in my war.
Ind can't bear to think OF your walking home |
Ill alone! !" Modern ditto" Oh, don't mind
Walking bit, thanks! Besides / want to
smoke.'
"A crosslng-swceper was trying to get
Fho, in resisting. urged that be Ind no change.
nothing but $40 bill II can get it changed
or yer" said tho youngster. On seeing tho
landy hesitate. as if from fear OF trusting him
nth the money, he put it again. IF yer doubts
"A gentlemen invited the Rev. Mr.. M-to
ide, and thought he would improve the oppor-
unity for little serious conversation 81
ometimes think there is something wanting in
ny life.' - Yes,''' interrupted M, 81 gou
lES !
lust thcn on the road, better than this Old plu.
.ou're holding tho reins over now.-LouisriAe
Courier Journal.
-" II medic tutissimus County practition-
r (abont to 60 up to London on businoss)-"I
han't bo more than ten days at tho fnrthest
Ii. Fawceps. Youm visit the patients regular
:, and take caro- none Of 'em slip through your
Dgels--or got weu-during my absence !'-
lunch.
One OF the London comic papers tells Of an
berdeen minister, who, catching his young
arishicaers before the congregation, put the
sual question to stout girl whose father kept
public house: "Wlat il your name2' No re-
u. Tie question having been repeated, tho
irl replied: s Name o your fun, Mr Minister,
ken 1ny name well enough. Dye no say when
. come TO our house on night, Bet, bring mo |
ome ala? p"
The Ways Of women are past finding ont. It
ss:d taat tho ladies OF Jacksonville, Tenn,
a.e fashion OF tying up their taper fingers
hen young gentlemen are expected to call, and
hen they very naturally ask the cause, they
uRhinHly reply, 81 burned them broiling the
eaS this morning." The result, as chronicled {
7 the local paper, is that several young gentle
en- have burned their fingers by believing the
orY.
-" Oh!" (Agernon is devoted to science, and !