The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1874-03-19
The Kurnel's Room.
How Squire Skaggs got skinned by the
UPharOah Men,

How Squire Skaggs got Skinned by the
"Pharoah Men,"
"You see," said the Squire, pitching
his voice to an e1egetical altitude, cit
wuz sorter this way. Last Chuseday
wuz week ago, 1 sailed down from
Gwinnett to Atlanty with seven bags of
cotton. Arter sold 'em, I kinder loaf
ed roun' lookin' at things in general,
an feelin' Jest as happy as you
please, when who should I run agin
but Kurnel Blasengame, Me an the
Kurnel used to be boys together, an
we wuz as thick as five kittens in rag
basket. We drunk outen the same
goad, an we got the lint snatched out
en- us by the same bandy-leggel school
teacher. 1 wuz gitten as lonesome as a
rainIcrow, afore ] struck up with the
Kurnel, an L was glad to see him
burned glad. We knocked roun town
right smartually, an the Kurnel inter
juced me to whole raft of fellers-
mighty nice boys they wuz, too. After
supper the Kurnel says
"'Skaggs,' says he, lets go to my
room whar we kin talk over ole times
sorter comfortable an undisturbed
| like
o." 'Greeable, says I, an we walked a
squar or so an turned into alley an
walked up narrer par of stars. The
Kurnel gin q little rap at green door,
an slick lookin' merlatter popped out
an axed us in. He wuz the durnd-
est perlitest niger you ever seen. He
jest got up an spun aroun' like tom
cat with her tail afire. The room wuz
as fine as a fiddle an full of picturs an
sofys, an the cheers wuz as soft as
ans wool, an L thought to meself
that the Kurnel was a lugsuriant cuss.
Thar wuz lot of mighty nice fellers
scattered roun' a laffin' an a talkin'
quite soshabel like. Aperient, the
Kurnel wuzent much sot back, for he
sorter LATED to himself an then he
says
"'Boys,' said he, Il hev fetched up
a fren', Jedge Hightower, this is
Squire Skaggs of Gwinnett, Majer
Briggs, Squire Skaggs, an so on all
roun'. Then the Kurnel turns to me
an says:
"Reely, I wuzent expectin' COM
pany, Skaggs, but the members of the
Young Mems Christun Sosashun make
my room their headquarters.
81 ups an says [ wuz mighty glad to
meet the boys. / used to be Prema-
tiv' Babtis myself afore got to cussin'
the Yankees, an hev always had a
sorter hankerin' arter pious folks.
They all laffed an shuck hans over
agin, an we sot thar smokin' an chaw-
in just as muchuel as you please. /
disremember how it come up, but pre-
sently Major Briggs gifts up an says
"Kurnel, what about that new parler
game you got out the other day ?"
"'Oh,' says the Kurnel, Iookin
I can't make no head nor tail outen
it.
"'I'l bet I kin manage it, says
Judge Hightower, quite animated like.
"'Ill show you how, Jedge, with
pleasure says the Kurnel, an then he
went to a table, unlocked box an tuck
out deck of keerds an whole lot of
little whatyoumaycallems similarly to
horn buttons, some white an some
red"
Squire Skaggs paused and supplied
his tireless jaws with fresh quid OF
tabacco.
"It amt no use to tell you any more.
When them fellers got done larnin' me
that game I didn't have money enough
to take me down stairs. 1 lay I looked
a leetle wild, for when the Jedge closed
the box he sad :
"'We hev had a pleasant evenn'i,
Squire. You'll find the Kurnel waitin
for you on the steps, an he'll give you
your money back"
81 amt never laid eyes on the Kur
mel sence, an when do thar's goin' to
be case for the Kurriner-you min6
my words. L seed Rufe Lester mex
day-you know Rufe; he's in the
Legislatur now, but used to give hin
popcorn when lie wuzen't so high
seed Rufe an he sed I wus tuck IN by
the Pharoah men. Tuck in amt NJ
name for it. Derned eff L didn't go tt
the bottom an git skinned alive. ."-,Sa
Oannah, (Ga.,) Ne,Os.