The Arizona sentinel., 1874-10-03
MISCELLANY.
An Oshkosh judge got four bars of soap for a marriage fee.

All OSHhOSn JuuRo SOI lOuI udIe
 of soap for a marriage fee.
 At g o'clock at night, when you
 see the big dipper with the han
 dle toward you, and the tail ol
 the comet in the bowl, it is about
 time to take drink.
 A Brooklyn girl has just reject
 ed a suitOr because his arm wasn't
 long enough to go round her
 She says if she is going to have
 lover at all she means to have
 a good fit.
 We often hear of people who
 are too poor to marry, but a Cali.
 fornia couple, who had been en.
 gagged for some time, married be- cause they could not afford to keep two separate rooms in a
 boarding house.
 "How like its father it isr' ex- claimed the nurse, on the Occa- sion of the christening Ofa baby whose father was over 70 and had married young wife. "Very likely" replied a satirical lady, "it hasn't a tooth in it's head.".
 Progression is the watch word of the hour, but in Missouri moth CTS haul their disObedient chil- dren over the knee and strike on the same. old spot that the Ro- mans did three thousand years ago.
 A Western Postmaster writes to the Postmaster-G General "that hell will be full of country Post- masters before long if they do not get more pay than is allowed this Office."
 When they tried to force Miss Gay, of Independence, Missouri, into a marriage against her will, she kicked the minister's hat of. knocked the young man down, and rode off on a mule, with one foot on each side of him.
 Deacon Gaudam fiOurishes in Lock Haven, N. Y. When the minister wishes a collection taken up for the little heather on "In- dia's coral strand" and says: "Deacon Gaudam, you please pass the hat" he has to be careful how he places his commas.
 MT, Henry Tore, of Portsmouth, Va, eloped the other day with his mother in-law. Since the pre- cedent has been established we know of a young man who wish es some one would elOpe with hiS mother er-in-law-MtJlOGalloee SeIati- 2aeL..
 The editor of the Nevada Tr05ss- script remarks that "the whole human figure should be six times the length of the feet" to pre- serve the proper proportion. That rule in that editors case would make him nine hundred and fifty feet high.-GrdSS Pulley Union.
 A Memphis paper staies that during fire in that city the Oth- CT day woman carried barrel of flour down stairs without burst ing a hoop. In ordinary times it exhausts her to strike her hus- band twice with the poker.
 The power of love receives a fresh and striking illustration in the case of the Milwaukee girl who knocked her lover heels over head because he wanted to stop kissing long enough to get a good long breath.
 A Newport, Rhode Island, lady, supposed to be on her death-bed, made the singular request to hear the brass band, which was con- piled with. the band appearing in the evening and playing sev. eraI sacred pieces, which appear ed to comfort her much.
 A Down East gentleman show. ed considerable alarm the other evening when he discovered that his wife had loaned the family Bible. When he returned from the house where the Bible was, he l brought with him $1,000, which | he mad placed in it for safe keep | ing.
 "Oh Lord! Thou knOwest," prayed a Connecticut deacon in church meeting, "that I am affiict- ad with a most impious and de- prayed son. Thou knOwest that he will swear, and lie, and steal, and do all sinful things. Thou that on the last Sabbath day he was seen walking down the principal street Tn the village, with his hands in his pocket, whistling the following ungOdly tune"-And the congregation were astOnnded to hear "Yankee flow melodiOuS from the deacon's pursed-up lips.
 This is the way the people who |