Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1874-07-02

Swan House. The baggage was sent
up with the usual promptness, and our
friends were soon making their toilet
for dinner. Jeems had his coat and
boots off in a jiffy, and Lies hair fell
gracefully over her shoulders.
"That's duced pretty torsel," said
Jeems, cycling the bellcord, "wonder
what it's fur" catching hold of it.
Look, it works up there on a sort Of
thingumbob. I'd like to have that
torsel to put on my horses head next
muster day; see how it works." said
he, giving it pull.
Presently the door opened and the
sable face of Afric's sons was thrust
into the room, with the inquiry of,
"Ring, sah?"
"Ring? ring what, you black ape?
if you do not quit looking at my wife
and make yourself scarce, I'll ring
your head off"
stop minnit," said Lie; "what's
the name of the man that keeps this
tavern?"
"Mr. Conley, marm."
"Well, tell his lady that she needn't
put on any extra fixins on our account
for we are plain people, said the amia-
BILE bride.
GAS they used to say in our debat-
ing society,"" interrupted Jeems, "I'll
amend that motion by saying, you can
tell them the best they've got I'm able
to pay for and don't care for expense"
"Tee-hee! Tee-hee!" was the only
audible reply from the sable gent, as
he hurried down stairs.
Dinner came, and was dispatched
with relish. Jeems and his bride
took stroll over the city, seeing the
lions and other sights, until supper
time, which being over, they retired
to their rooms. The gas was lit by
the servant, who received a bright
quarter for his services. Jeems was
last in bed, and according to rule in
such cases, had to put out the light,
which he did with a blast from his
lungs.
The noise in the street had died
away, and quiet reigned in the Swan
House The young man on watch
dozed in his chair. The clerk (rather
corpulent) was about to retire when
he thought he smelt gas. The guests
(some of them) thought they smelt
gas. Much against his will, the clerk
proceeded to where the leak was. 1t
seemed stronger in the neighborhood
of the room occupied by the bride and
groom. The clerk concluded to knock
at the door of the room.
"Who is there?" came from the in
side.
"Open the door; the gas is escap-
ing"
Gas! what gas?" said Jeems, open
ing The door.
"Why, here, in this room. How did
you put the light out?"
"Blew it out, of course"
"Yon played h" our amiablc clerk
came very near saying bad word,
but. remembering that there was
lady in the case, or rather in the bed,
he choked his rising temper, and hav-
ing lit the gas, proceeded to show
Jeems the mystery of the burner, as
follows:
"You see this little thing here?-
Well, when you want to put it out,
give it turn this way, and when you
want to make it lighter, you give it a
a turn this way. Serious consequent
ces might have resulted if it had not
been discovered. 1t might have suf-
located us all. Now, be careful next
time"
"Much obliged. But how the devil
did | know the darned stuff was soap.
ing?" responded Jeems.
Didn't you smell it?" asked the
clerk.
"Pears to me l did smell suthin',"
said Jeems. "But Lie, I'll be burned
if | didn't think it was you-kase /
never slept with a woman afore."
"Well, Jeems, l thought it was you
that smelt that way, all The time. /
was jest wondering if all men smelt
that way. 1t 'peared strange; but
then, | never slept with a man afore,
in all my life, and didn't know nothing
about it," was the response of Lie,
as she turned over for a nap.
The red in the clerks face grew
smilingly redder as it reflected the
light from the burning jet, and ro-
guish twinkle lurked in the corner OF
his eyes, as he turned off the gas and
all was dark, and our friends were
left in their glory. A sound of sup
pressed mirth was hear in the reading
room for a few minutes, and then all
was still.