American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-04-04
CURRENT ITEMS.

poem anu are not well.-ItOcheSter CtrOn
icle
BROOKLYN has SO far improved il
morals that she won't let drunken mar
sit on jury.
THERE is daily average Of fifty eigh
and half tons of mail dispatched from
the New York Postoffice.
HELENA, Ark, has only two Chinese
restaurants, while the town has rodents
enough to run a dozen.
THIS has been a good winter for sliding
down hill in Portland, Me-, as thirteen
broken arms and legs attest
BosToN has so much red tape in its
poor-otfice that it takes five days to send
a peck of potatoes to a starving family.
GOLD-HUNTERs are leaving Oregon in
large numbers for the Alaska mines. The
mines have not yet been practically ex-
plored.
| DENVER Coll was recently treated to
image of the Rocky Mountains, suspended
in the air.
A CINCINNATI car driver got forty-seven
persons into a street car the other day,
which shows that the packing season has
not yet ended.
Two wedding fees of $1,000 each have
just been given in Western New York,
and calls to that pastoral paradise are in
| active demand.
Do LEWIS says that ct women need
| symmetry more than suffrage" They seek
it in corsets; but instead of symmetry
| they find cemeteries.
THERE is going to be total eclipse of
the sun April 16, but it won't be visible
except in Africa, just where they don't
care a copper for eclipses.
STEwARTsTowN, Me, has forty men
whose avoirdupOis is 5000 pounds, the
heaviest of whom is 303 pounds, and the
tallest six feet seven inches.
A MAN who does not appreciate the
Yankees" says the nOblest Inheritance
which New England leaves to her children
is poverty and consumption.
AT San Francisco the other night, at a
grand masquerade ball, the judges award
ed the first lady's prize to the "Beggar
Woman" who proved to be man.
JOHN VINEGAR keeps a grocery store in
Baltimore, and he denies being any rela-
tive of old cider vinegar, but then YOU
hardly ever see any grocery vinegar that
is.
BENTON County (Mo) Patrons have re-
solved to totally abstain from the use of
coffee " until the price of the article shall
have been reduced within the reach of
every laboring man."
THE too rural editor of the Detroit Free
Press seasonably remarks: I'VE have
our opinion of any cow which will stand
by and chew her cud when butter is sell
ing at fOrty-five cents pound"
ONE of the Selectmen of Bennington,
VT, declared at the recent town meeting
that he was willing to print the town
report in full, if it took book as large as
Daniel Webster's Unabridged Dictionary.
THERE are two sisters who have lived
within SIX miles of each other, near Ben
nington, VT, for thirty years and yet have
not seen each other in this time, though
there is no ill-feeling between them-they
are simply "odd."
A KENTUCKY woman poured hot water
down her husbands back to cure the
toothache. and the jury held that she was
practicing without a license and sent her
to Jail for six months.
CAPT. c. L.. BRADY, who saved the
steamship Pennsylvania, lately, when in
a storm the Captain and first and second
officers were swept from the deck, has de-
clined to receive the gift of 81 900 offered
him by the steamship company, and en-
tered libel for salvage.
BEADED sunshades are coming into
fashion with a delightful rapidity. The
are of black silk with raised
dotted with fine jet beads in
reckless profusion These new affairs are
from the other side" and the importer
would have it understood that the Ouch
ess of Edinburgh has one!
SCIENTIFIC men say that if pianos stand
north and south the tone of the instrument
is much improved. This is true especially
when the piano is thumped by a learner.
A m Snnth of
is the proper position for the instrument
to stand when being manipulated by a
young thing taking her first lessons.
BLACK alpacas will always be worn as
the most serviceable of dresses. They |
vary in quality and degree, from the
coarse, frOwzy fabric that quickly turns |
rusty to the rich, lustrOus brilliantine that |
retains its color until the last shred is |
worn out, and sheds the dust from its |
glossy surface as duck shakes the water |
from its plumage. This year beautiful |
new alpaca, with silk warp, is seen in
market, that closely resembles silk, at
1850 yard.
An OLD bachelor in Orleans County, VT,
has been deferred from committing matri- |
mony in the following way: Thinking |
pense of maintaining family, he set the
table in his lonely abode with plates for |
himself and an imaginary wife and five |
children. He then sat down to dine, and |
as often as he helped himself to food he |
put the same quantity on each of the 9th
er plates, and surveyed the prospect, at
the same time computing the cost. He is
still bachelor.
THE new ten-cent shinplaster is regard |
ed AS great success by the amateur coun-
terfeiters. Its close resemblance to the
fifty-cent note has of late OccaSiOned |
many a small loss to the retail dealer.
This similarity has been taken advantage
Of by designing persons, and instances
are given where the ten-cent has been
raised to fifty-cent note. A case is re-
ported where the g fifty cent" from a rev.
enue cigar stamp was pasted over the fig
IRE 10 of the new note, the size of the so
Exactly covering the figure 10.-Chicago
Times.
THE gainesville Ohio Telegraph de-
scribes a mammoth cheese which lately
passed through that town on It's way East.
1t was mounted on a substantial platform,
TO which was attached small cast-iron
wheels, so that it easily moved, and the
platform in turn was mounted on heavy
lumber wagon, sdrawn by two spans of
horses. The cheese was cased in tight
citing cheese-bOx which was firmly Sc
cured to the platform to prevent sliding.
Its measurement was: Height, three feet
.wo inches diameter, five feet four inches;
sixteen feet. Its net
weight was 1850 pounds.
How to Open Letters.
A young lady recently called at the