Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1874-10-15

Feet and hands are so frightfully magni
fed in q photograph; but. then, you
would so like for all those lovely puffs
and lace iounces 10 show
But dresses go out of style, so you
finally decide on vignette and resign
yourself TO the hands of Mr.. Cameral
He looks you over with business air
and agrees with you that a vignette will
be the most suitable to your style. He
says your shoulders are too high for a
full-lengtk picturei
High shoulders, indeed You feel as IL
you would like TO annihiiate him, blu. he
is an artist" and privileged to make
remarks on his wretched subjects.
He steps off . yard or two and surveys
you with the air of a jockey inspecting the
points of horse he is going TO trade for,
and you oyonder if he sees the chalk on
your nose which you have put on to
cover up the freckles; and you are in
agony lest he should suspect that your
| charms are enhanced by the least little
touch of rouge on either cheek.
You venture TO ask him If the mole on
| your chin will shows
He answers, with the air of the Great
| Mogul, that if it does it viii! not make
| the slightest difference! All one wants
| of picture is that it shall be naturall
/ Natural! AS If the wretch had not
been in the business long enough to
/ know that no one is ever satisfied with a
| photograph unless il fiatters" the sub
Ject!
You seat yourself in the chair Of tor
! ture, which is generally cushioned with
| green, and smells of hair oil. He goes
! behind you and screws your head into a
/ wise. First he tips ID back at an angle of
about forty-five degrees; then he tips it
forward, then to one side, and then back
again TO the first position; telling you, at
| the same time, to lower your chin" as
| if that feat could possibly be performed
with his hands pulling your head back
The artist is commonly very lank
man with sandy whiskers; and fingers,
with yellowsh nails, which smell of
ether and alcohol. lie is. chewing earda-
mon seeds.
He gets you in position and then adj
vances to the front, and squints at you
through the glass. and you grow pain
fully conscious that he sees you wrong
side up.
You pucker your mouth and say
bosom, and try your best to look brill
liant.
unfeeling operator.
You subside and let the lids fall down,
and then he cries out:
Look alive, maam! That way of
dropping the eyes makes you look like q
corpsep
Then he goes behind you again, and
tips your head around to one side, and
gets the long curl you have carefully
placed in front back behind you. Then
he comes forward and takes another
long squint. You begin to feel the
perspiration start out on your forehead,
there is a lump in your throat, and you
wish you had never ventured near Mr..
Camera, and you wonder If dear John
will like that side view of you which
shows your aquiline nose so very plainly?
The operator changes the poise of
your arms. He pulls some hair round in
front, and puts some more behind, and
you are in agony lest that switch, which
you so artfully fasten on under your
own hair, will come off.
He sets the wise round little to the
left, and hangs up green tassel on the
camera for you to look at.
BY this time the intense light of the
room has gone into your very brain, and
blinded your eyes, and your head feels
dizzy, and the water gathers in your
eyes, and you know that you are squint-
ing frightfully. You grow nervous, and
shuttle your feet, and twiddle your
fingers, and wink furiously,. and Mr..
Camera tells you to keep quiet or you
will spoil your picture.
All ready at last he announces, and
he commands you to keep the tassel in
view, To look natural, and be quiet.
Then he chucks what looks like child's
transparent slate into the machine,
throws black cloth over tho whole, in
sinuates his hand under the cloth for
moment, and then energies with his
shock of sandy hair standing on end
like "quills upon the fretful porcupine."
You feel an insane desire to look at him,
but there is that tassel.
lie takes out his watch and glares at
you for the space of half a minute,
which seems to you half an hour.
Then he snatches out the slate and
dives into dark closet, and you hear
| the rafting of glass shoppers in glass
bottles, and the trickling of water, and
know that your picture is being "de
| veloped."
BY and by he energies, looking very
mysterious, and holding ut arms length
| a nondescript piece of metal, dripping
with water, which he brings cautiously
within your angle of vision, and shows
| you to yourself.
| You see black, blear-eye wide.
mouthed, fredericksburg shadow on the
wet plate, with the bust cut square of,
and a black spot at the end Of the nose
like an escaped pinch of snuff, and
brown smirch across the left cheek.
| Your heart sinks within you!
The artist triumphantly asserts that 1t
is perfect! He never saw a better like
ness! But, If you desire to, you can sit
again.
| You look at the chair of torture, and
at the wise behind IL, and decline, with
thanks.
You get ON your shawl and hat, and
depart as quickly as possible for home,
but first you have to have the operator
ask you If you want the cheeks painted
SOS to be more natural, and If you feel
like paying half dollar more on dozen
TO have the eyes worked up" in India
ink.
You give him carte blanche, and hurry
away, thoroughly disgasted.
1 H. . 10, .,