Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1874-01-03
A CONGRESSIONAL CLOCK.


The troubles Of a new Congressman
are without end. The latest story is Of
4 gentleman from New England, serv-
ing his first term, who Game here i'm
pressed with the delusiOn that early
rising. with industrious habits, would
grade the way where fame's proud
temple shines afar." and rs his Office
seeking constituents kept him up until
midnight he found the early rising ex-
ceedingly irksome. Possessed Of an
indomitable soul. however. he deter
mined to overcome this slOthful habit
and to this end purchased an alarm,
clock possessed Of the devilish animosi-
ty Of Widows and the power of the
chimes. The alarm clock he put upon
the mantle-piece, setting the alarm,
as directed, at > a. NJ. To
his disgust and wrath the thing
went of Just as he was dropping INTO a
comfortable slumber. This was not the
worst. 1t awakened the wife Of his
bosom and three lovely little children.
The confOunded clock was wound up
again and set. and an hour was lost III
soothing the family back TO repOse.
The dreadful piece of machinery re-
manned quiet until the new NJ. c. had
dropped into MS regular snores that IN
dicated the repose of his gigantic IN
tallect. when suddenlyit went off again,
fetching the young SOlOnto his feetand
the middle Of the liOOr. where he stood
in his nightS0wn, not knowing whether
to cry fire or look for burglars. The
children again set up a yell, and Mrs
NJ. c., bringing herself to a sitting pO-
sition in the bed, said with considera-
bic wrath that If these were part
of her husbands congressional
duties she wanted him either
to resign or to send his family
back to the rural home. The poor fcl.
low took his youngest in his arms and
trotted up and down the room, trying
to sing .'ROck-a-by Baby to the tune
of odd Hundred" which only aggra.
waited the child's distress, Our friend
the NJ. c., who wa5 suffering from tn,
attack Of his alarm clock, was inter.
rupted IN the midst of his domestic
efforts by the clock going off agaiH IL
the unaccOuntable manner. The hon
orable Solun placed his youngest hope
III It's cradle without emphasis, and then
Strengthening up, we are panied to
say, used some profane language
His first impulse was 70 throw
his murderer uf sleep out Of
the window. but recollecting that hi.
pay was about being cut down, On sec.
ond thought ne seized the offensive,
complicated AID eccentric hit Of ma
chinery and carried it down two flights
Of stairs 10 tho basement, where hC
placed il IN the coal cellar. The next
morning the family had to dress IL the
cold because Samson, tho oglored man
refused positively to go for Goals, as
so:t.ng mat the debil was down dcre
shure." After late breakfast, tht;
Scion put ON his cape, lat and gloves,
and hiding the alarm clock under his
arm, determined 10 return to Che mls-
| begutten son of Waa who furnished
! 1t. He had not walked Ovel
a square before the thing went of
i'll the widest manner. People turnol
and stared at him, and ragged little
boys of al oompl,xiOns, but of uniform
| d;rt, to0k after him, gazing with open
| ed-cyed wonder at the phenomenon
| One went 50 far as to shout to 4 coW-
rade across the street; "Coae mere, Bill
here's "a felloy. i,a7swallowed the chimes.
/ mo he amt, said another, hes onI
of them chaps has clock in his belly
/ seed 'em in sta' wihd":s.N The poor
b,I patriotic repeater of back pay be-
came so embarrassed that he rushed t,
a front door and ringing The bel
asked the gorTapt II Tompkms lived
there. The poor girl was SO startlsdby
the apparent ringing at both cE'da ni
their door alarm that she dropped heI
under law and said nothing. At this
moment the exasperatilS alarm stop
ned ringing, and the member thinking
that If he kept sill 1t might follow hi.
example. sat down upOn the doorstep
and said he'd wait for him. The CIR
| closed the door, and in a few minutes
the law.maker started again, and so did
the clock. Perfectly infuriate3 - aali
! ID IN F. street car, thinking at leasI
| Lo set clear Of his retinue oi
ragged followers. Seated in this lcg:t
conveyance "a new trOUbleoVertook him
His alarm kept ringing, and the pas
sengers, installing 1T for the driver