The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-04-02
American Good Manners.

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There Is a wide, fundamental dis
tinction between English good breed
ing and American good manners,
which Is half Indicated In the diner
enoe between the words themselves.
English breeding consists In train
Ing which results In an. acquired fac
ulty, of instinctlyely doing or avoid
ing particular things. "A well-brcd
Englishman Is taught from his cradle
up how to Sit, walk, speak, eat; drink,
enter q room, leave It; he is also
taught, Notwithstanding his behav-
Tor in this country, how to dresss He
Is taught, also, to whom to be respect
full, whom to treat as, an equal, how
to bear himself towards interiors.
The result OF this training Is that one
detects in a Well-bred Englishman
the result of a sort of military disci-
pline, q stiff regularity which sug-
gests the notion Of dress parades and
the manual in early life. There Is In
deed something in the relation be-
tween English fathers and children
which suggests the drill-sergeant and
raw recruits. s,-a1 ST.. - Ia..-,t
In American families, however,
In which there is any training at all
the process is quite different. The
attempt is made-and certainly no
one will deny that in some cases 1t Is
made successful give the child, not
"a series of rigid rules for his guild.
ance through lie, but Il foundation
in character of urbanity and anna.
bility which will enable him as he
goes through life to make rules fol
himself. Hc Is taught as much as
possible that, though rules of good
manners arc always in existence fol
the convenience of mankind, the
foundation of good manners does no.
consist i'm rigid adhesion to one rule
but in an amiable endeavOr to make
social intercourse agreeable; that III
is the best hammered man who Il
most suave, most urbane, most hos
pitable, most benevolent, most hon
: Orable, most brave, most upright
: The American who is really wei
brought up is taught from the earli
est moment that the first rule of gOOt
manners is to sacrifice his own indi
viduality to the general social good
and that all rules of detail are subOr
: mate to that. He Is taught that III
must not be silent in the midst of PEG
pie who are talking; that he mus
: not, on the other hand monOpOliz'
the conversation. He is taught tina
he must keep his feelings to himself
and not try to force his opinions d0wl
Others threats; he must not be dog
, matte, obstinate, or selfish. He mus
not even be too original. He mus
, always consult the interest of tn
, whole, and allow the ''individual' t
: "wither."
We do not mean to say that ther
are many families in America wher
this code of manners is taught. Blu
there are enough (there was ono
more than there are now to max
such scheme of social behavior a.
l American ideal. There are peopl
3 who continually have it in their min
3 when they describe that mythics
character, the American gentleman
8 To put the matter i'm other words, tn
English ideal of manners is a pract
|, cal ideal, and consists in submissio
: to certain rules and convention
I which have been adopted in Englan
D for the convenience of Englishmer
!. The American ideal of manners is
Q vague ideal, which might in UtOpi
be carried into practice, which re
CARDS all rules as means to ends, an
t which aims at substituting for tn
hard, systematic code of other days,
/, code of brotherly love, Christianity
or what Mr.. Arnold calls "sweetnes
1 and light" Possibly some person
I may see in this difference between
the English ideal and the America
ideal of manners, the fundamenta
difference between the two people
which makes it so difficult for then
to understand each other.