Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1874-05-28

mattef Win CNr own Dany so tndt the
whole neighborhood could be informed
as to its ailments. And just then po-
liceman came along, stood in front of the
house, and looked at me as though he
felt sure contemplated burglary. Peo-
pie are so apt, you know, to stand at the
front door, and ring the bell, when their
designs are burglarious.
AS a matter of precautionary explana-
ton, but perhaps injudiciously, said to
the aforesaid policeman that | was "all
right" And then he said "Whatw and
then the doctor said: "What!n And the
policeman, who evidently didn't see the
doctor, said; "What the dickens are you
talking about?" And then / said to the
policeman that " / said / was all right. "
And then he wanted to know "who said l
wasn't?"
II was getting dreadfully mixed up.
But just then the doctor, who evidently
saw the policeman, hallooed: 60 about
your businessl" The policeman evident
ly saw the doctor, and moved on" after
first striking the lamp-post most I'M
necessary blow with his club.
But thought that the doctor had adj
dressed his last remark 10 me, and, being
pretty well worked up by this time, / said (:
Not at all, sirl | have told you that
our own baby is sick and needs your
profess ional attentionr'
"Well," says he, haven't / been try
ing to make you tell what is the matter
with it?'
/ saw | had made mistake, ard so
| said:
"Oh," says l, al thought you were
speaking to me-"
"Well, for Heavens sake, amt speak
ing to your" said, or rather roared, the
doctor.
"The baby is sick" says l. Its little
stomach kind of sticks out, and mother
says she thinks she feels lump inside"
"His what does what, and who feels
which," roared the doctor.
How stupid Its stomach sticks out"
says /; and then | heard that confounded
policeman laughing.
Sticks out where?'' says the doctor.
Now who would suppose that man was
doctorl
"Why, in front, to be surel" says /;
and when press it hard the little thing
wakes up and cries"
"What the deuce do you press it for,
them" says the doctor.
And then | heard that policeman laugh
again. A matter of life or death seemed
TO amuse him.
But by this time I had lost all patience,
and so, with considerable vehemence, /
said: doctor, our own baby is very ill
Will you be kind enough to come TO the
door,"
At that he slammed down the window.
| remained some minutes at the door,
and then heard the doctors heavy tread
in the hall. BY this time had recovered
my temper and was prepared to meet my
own medical friend very pleasantly.
AS soon, therefore, as he opened the
door | said:
"Ah! how are you, doctor"
If he made any answer at all l did not
catch it,
"As ! was saying" says /, "abOut our
own baby, its little stomach sticks out,
and mother thinks"
While had been saying this the doc
tor, acting as though he was the only in
dividual on the stcop, and apparently
without seeing me, and even less hearing
me, had slammed the front door and
turned to go down the steps.
But unfortunately he had shut his coat
flap into the door, whereupon he turned
around, glared fiercely at me, said. There,
then, you see" and proceeded To find his
nightkey
/ really could not see the force Of his
remark. / was not responsible certainly
tor the tritiing Inconvenience to which
he had been subjected.
The coattail extricated, the doctor ran
down the steps. In my confusion l had
forgotten to tell him of the Recovered
pavement, and the next thing l saw was
the doctor, with legs wide spread apart,
sliding toward the gutter. He saved
himself from falling by jumping into a
snow-b bank.
Again he turned upon me, and again
rid himself of the ridulous ejaculation,
"There, then, you seel"
How perfectly absurd! There was no
sense i'm it. Suppose / did see. What
them How could help it?
With my usual forgiving disposition,
however, | ventuIed TO offer the doctor
my arm. But all he said was something
about "a plaguy sight, 81 did not appre-
bend the whole Of the sentence.
We then walked along each by him
self, as best he could. At last l thought
that, inasmuch as had gotten the doctor
out at that unseemly hour, it was only
fair that i should make his difficult walk
as pleasant as possible, and so l essayed
to converse with him.
Thinking that he might be willing to
discuss topics OF national interest, | said
"What do you think of the Carpenter
billf"
Whose carpenter billf" said he.
"Why, his, TO be sure" said l.
"Very well; who Is aisf l didn't
catch the name! suppose ! am not TO
blame for that, young manp' replied my
certainly not over good.natured friend.
"If," continued he, "you or anybody
else owed carpenters bill / should adj
wise you 10 pay IT, AS for its correctness
how the mischief can form an opinIonY
deemed it wise to drop issues Of ma
tional interest, and ventured TO try new
topic.
"What will this woman's movement
amount toy" said |.
"Who is the woman? What Is the
matter with herr" said the doctor.
Now, how very stupid! Gould not
any intelligent person know that / was
alluding 70 the great temperance crusade
At this point the doctor fell again,
sprawling over the pavement. | picked
him up, and we tried the middle Of the
street rs somewhat safer.