Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1874-04-21

and gets in reply the hcartless response;
"Do as do-stand upon chair"
"A clergyman at Springfield who has
bad habit Of adding an to many Of his
words, told last Sunday of those who had
been brought up on the Lords side-ah.
IAN old lady was admiring the beau
tiful picture called saved" "Its no Won
der" said she "that the poor child tainted
after pulling that great dog out ofthe
water"
We noticed, the other day, in puffo
a country grocer, that he was spoken Of as
zone Of the old war horses of the trade"
We suppose that means that he is a heavy
charger.
An Illinois teacher has had written
charges filed against him. consisting Of,
tlst, immortality %, parshalty Sd keap'
ing di,ordly school! 4th,.. carrying unlafe
weeplngs"
i know not if it be duty to offer
up fortune and life to the truth; bat
know it is duty, if one undertake. "
teach the truth, TO teach the whole OF itor
none at al.
A man in Kansas aceidently fell into
q vat Of boiling water and was killed.
His bereayed children erected Il tombstone
to his memory, with the brief but touching
inscription, "Par-boiled."
1t is pleasant to see young creature
come into horse-car, seat herself for
admiration, look happy for FIVE minutes,
and then wake up to the dismal con.
sciousness that there is rip in the middle
finger Of her right glove.
"A schoolmastcr asked ono Of his
boys, on a sharp, winter morning, what
was Latin for cold. The boy hesitatod
little. "What ?"said the teacher, "can.
not you tell p Yes, yes" replied the
boy: 81 have it at my finger ends"
Two deaconi once disputing about
proposed new graveyard, one remarked:
"Ill never be buried in that groud
as long as live"
"What an obstinate man. said the
other. "If my life is spared, l will"
An authority on plants and on the
best methods Of cultvating them, tells us
that the Callalily, that beautiful exotic,
should be watcred with warm water. 1t
is native of the nile, aud reyels in 4
rich, warm situation BY giving it water
at nearly boiling temperature, the Gala
will bud and blossoms freely. One plalt
has been known to produce twenty-five
blossoms in one season. In the spring ii
should be put in d-y, shady place to
gather new life and strength, and in No
yember transplanted to rich soil and gener-
ously watered. 1t will repay the care,
thousand fold.
Not long since very nervous lady
took passage at the Tip-Top House,
White Mountains, to descend by the
almost perpendicular railroad. Her fears
were apparent to every one, and the fol-
lowing unique dialogue took place between
her and the conductor Lady-Mr. Con-
ductor, how do you hold these cars when
you want to make stop? C'-Madame.
We apply the brake, which you see there.
Lady-SuppOsc, Mr.. Conductor, that
brake should give way, what do you do
then? C.-Madame, We then apply the
double-acting brake, which you see at the
other end Of the cars. Lady-But ME
Conductor, suppose that brake should not
be sufficient to check the cars, where will
we 90 then? C.-Maiame, that depends
entirely upon how YOU have lived in this
world
In the talk of some ladies who move
in tOerably good position, but who have
been imperfectly educated, | have heard
droll specimens Of illogical reasoning.
The following are two instances: A married
lady with family, who lived in villa in
the exterior environs OF London, was asked
Why she was at the expense of keeping
cow, seeing that it would be surel ly much =
cheaper to buy milk for the household,
Well said she in reply, eve keep cow
because We have field quite at hand,
which answers very nicely" But" was
the rejoinder, "why do you not rent the
ield ?' The answer was, because you
Know, we have got the COW !" The other in.
stance occurred in my young days at Phee-
olcs. A lady in reduced circumstances
to a friend that she had Just
arranged to rent a house belonging to
baker in the town. The friend was some
what surprised at the announcement, con-
'idering the lady's circumstances, and
asked if the expense would not be too much
or her. "Oh, not at all" was the answer;
we'll take bread for the rent
Yesterday lady was walking along
he street when she met little girl between
.wo and three years old, evidently lost, and
,rying bitterly. Taking her by the hand,
he lady asked her where she was going.
I'm going down town to find papa, was
he reply, between the sobs, of the child.
What is your papa's name?"askcd the
ady. dis name is papa" replied the
nnOclnt thing. "But what ishis other
name p queried the lady: "what does your
ma call him'2' "She calls him papa,' per-
sisted the baby. The lady then took the
title one by the hand and led her along,
'aying'You had better como with me; /
guess you came this way" "Yes, but 1
ion't want to go back; | want to find my
papa" replied the little girl, crying afrcsh
Is if her heart would break. "What do