The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-05-16
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

ChNA w W. w ~ AIbCs
In the annual convention, last week, Of II
Michigan dentists, at Detroit, one of them res
an essay on Malignant Tumors of the Jaws an
their Neighborhood," which was condemned
an uncalled for attack upon the ladies engage
in the women's rights movement.
The English papers are laughing at olund'
that occurred at Portsmouth when the Ashante
heroes were welcomed on their return from AIR
ca. huge flag was suspended from po'ie
station with the inscription, "Weicome Home
Alphonzo, King of Arragon, once said tbs
"there were only four things worth living iol
old wine to drink, old wood to burn, OLD DOCKS
read and old friends to converse with.' ii II
had lived nowadays he would probably have ado
ed and Old Probabilities to tell him when t
plantpea %M
Some one has got hold Of the newspaper Dor
and set him to music as follows;
He drops into my easy chair,
And asks about the news;
He peers into my manuscript,
And gives his candid views;
He tells me where he likes the line,
And where he's forced to gricvc,
He takes the strangest liberties, "a
But never never takes his leave.
They have found Chicago policeman who
wouldn't take bribe but it should be added that
he didn't think it large enough.
The jacksonville Times prints this sensible
paragraph: Correspondents will obigc us very
materially if, in their articles, they will CONNIE
themselves to the use of either we or l.
The indiscrminatc use OF both is yeXatious'
Neither is it necessary to quote every otheF worn
and italicise the rest"
One of Mark Twain's London speeches last
winter has been the means Of setting afoat
through the newspapers numerous wrctchcd at
tempts at wit like this
A wretched cynic writes: "A bright little five
year.old was looking through picture-book the
other night, when she suddenly paused, gazed
eagerly into her mothers face, and, WINE there
sh0ne in her eyes the light of wisdom beyond
her years, said blamed if we haven't forgotten
what she SAID. J.
A Chicago gentleman who recently Travelled III
Ohio says that everybody he met called potatoes
"taters" except one young lady, who called him
Small pertatcr."
A New Orleans woman wears 4 hustle made OF
government bonds. Her husband looks over the
report Of the bond market in the evening paper
back is up.
There are few poets from whom so much is
stolen as from Oldys. For the following cXqui.
site lines, however, he shall have credit:
Busy, curious, thirsty fly!
Drink with me, and drink as |!
Freely welcome to my cup,
Coudst thou sip and sip 1t up;
Make the most of life you may:
Life is short and wears away. II
Both alike are mine and thine,
fastening quick to their decline.
Times summer, mine no more, F..
Though repeated to threescore!
Threescore summers when they're gone, }
viii appear as short as one! /
Two females have started newspaper in I,
dabo called the Vindicator. They advocate wo- +
nan suffrage, and in their statutory the ladies
ay: "We shall have fellow feeling in our DO. s
oms for all struggling and oppressed humanity
elsewhere" The utmost excitement now per-
AIDES the territory to know who is to be the
fellow" .......-
There is n man in Janesvic who has got the /
ropsy and who yields thirteen gallons Of water Q
very twenty days. In the same connection the J.
Iasette boasts of the unmproyed water power at .
hat point. !;
Another triumph for the female sex. \ man d
las made his escape from Georgia Jail by the Q
i'd of hair pin q
A female bill-poster is doing an extensive bus d
ness in New York. The sex was always good at g
INNING up bills.-BoStoR Post. II
Butler will be lifty-six years old in November. d
he proposal to make the anniversary of his =,
firth day Of national fasting and prayer excites ~
much enthusiasm. u
The obituary poet of the Philadelphia Leiyer Ii
putting forth his mighticst efforts to produce Il
ew style to meet the exigencics of cremation. U
he following is tolerable as first effort: !,
The boast of hcraldry "
The pomp of power, "
And all that beauty, "
And all that wealth ecr knew, n
Await alike the inevitable hour b
The path Of glory leads up the iluc. fl
Twenty-onc Freshmen were lately suspended II
rom an English College because the Professor >
ouldn't find utwho placed tcn-ounce tack in "
lis chair. He knew, however all about who sat r,
own or H. ..r
Kansas Judges are either very generous or else "
hey have little dignity. One of them was call u
"a Old SkiletlcSs" by the lawyer, and he only =,
imposed fine Of seven shillngs for the contempt A.
VI court. q,
The II, Louis Rp,tbiicdn submits the folowing: Ii
Imitation ticket for 1873 For President, Orycr u
+. Morton, Of Indiana for Vice President John :
Logan, Of Illinois. Patiorm-To get out Of i
debt, 90 in deeper.
And now comes a cleaning light in the mid
night darkness. Rev. Mcekham, Of Green Bay,
says that ii is his belief that most Of the cd,tori
al fraterity win eventually be saved.
The following is no less touchmgly tender
than true To nature
LOVES ~