The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-02-26

THURSDAY MORNING., FEB. s6. 1874
Gossip and Gleanings.

THURSDAY MORNING, FEB. 20. 1874
Gossip and Gleanings..
The right side of drinking saloon-the
| outside.
The weather has not been very cold lately,
but still the morning salutations are exchang-
ed through stObbed ub doses.
AT revival meeting in Montgomery Coun-
ty' recently, young convert forgave all of his
| enemies, especially the fellow who threw
my pup into yellow,jackets nest,
General Spinner is said to be crack shot
with the rifle, and we can testify that he is
one of the most easy and graceful writers in
the country.
The man who invented baggage checks
made fortune by the operation, but a man
who invented some bank checks the other
day, made misfortune by his operation.
Some people like to be miserable, We
judge so from the fact that the whalemen are
| giving up the business because they don't
have such trying times as they used to have.
The Detroit Free Press remarks: Susan
b. Anthony says she'd just like to see a man
throw fatiron at her, she would. So
would we, and we would want it to happen
about half an hour before one of her lectures.
A youhg man in Ashtabula sought to Sc
cure his sweetheart by strategy, so he took
her out for boat-ride, and threatened to
jump overheard into the lake If she didn't
consent to marry him. But it did not
work. She offered to bet him dollar that
he daren't dive in.
A Nevada judge, after the jury had been
empaneled, and counsel ready to proceed,
pulled out revolver, and judiciay remarked:
''If any man goes frollicking around in this
courtroom during the trial of this case, 1
shall interrupt him in his career" The
st.ictest decorum prevailed.
addressing one of the city judges, 81 brought
the prisoner from Jail on habeas corpus"
SWELL" said fellow in an undertone, who
stood in the rear of the court, these lawyers
will say anything saw the man get out of
hack at the court, room door,"
A young lady of Lyons, Iowa, recently
said: 'Some men are always talking about
patroniz,ng their own town-always harping
on that ddty-and yet they go abroad to get
married, while here we all stand waitingl 1
do hope that some of these men who marry
eastern women will get cheatedr'
Inspired Being: "Whence, oh, whence, la
| dies, whence, oh, whence came the marvel
Gus instinct that prompted the minute being
originally contained in this fragile shell to
burst the calcareous envelope that secluded
it from the glories of the outward world %
Chorus of Admiring Ladies: ''Nhence, oh
whence, indeed, Mr.. Hcneycomb?' Mas
ter Tommy: perhaps the little beggar wa.
afraid he would be uoiledr'-- Punch,
The story is told of seven-year old cyni
at juvenile party. He kept aloof from tn
rest of the company and the lady of the hons
called to him, saying; "Come and play an
dance, my dear. Choose one of those prett
girls for your wife," .sNot likelyp' cried tn
young cynic. 'tNo wife for mel Do 70,
think want TO be worried out of my life lik
poor papa?'
Yesterday the little son of one of cur citi
zens, while playing with his sister, a bright,
sweet child OF five summers, got hold Of his
fathers gun, which had been careessly lett
standing in the kitchen by he thous6tless
parent, pointed the gun at his playmate, and
saying, jokingly, ''Ill kill you!' pulled the
trigger. What must have been that boy
feelings when he found that he had lied
that the gun was not loaded, and that bis in
nocent little sister had knocked .,ortiOn o.
his nose off with stick of wood.-Brooklyn
argus.
The retort of little boy to an attorney in
Justice Court, not long ago, created some
amusement. The lad, being on the stand a:
witness, was questioned concerning certain
dime novel alleged to have been stolen
"What was pictured on the cover?" asked
the attorney. "Two Indians" was the re
ply. ''What were the Indians doing?' 'sl
didn't ask 'em" answered the boy. The at
torney suddenly discovered that he had no
further use for the young witness.
The great George Francis has once more
been interviewed. Gist of his remarks
"Grant's the last President we shall have
he and his party friends are cooking things
up to crown him Emperor. Before theil
plans are ripe, the commune will sweep ovel
the country and spread anarchy and con
fusion. Then I shall assume the dictator
ship, and restore order, peace and prosperity
Mark my words. have given you horo
scope of America; it's my destiny to rule thi!
i country for the next twenty years; am th'
only living one that can do it, and the peo
pie begin to see it already" And yet the,
call Train insane!
OF course London is ringing with the ste
ries of the adventures which happened dul
ing the fog. one of which is worth quoting
An old gentleman who had some business a
Charing Cros, made his way as far as tn
Strand, but there completely lost himself II
trept slowly on and or, without the least ide
of where he was going, until he found him
self descending some steps. On these step
he plumped against man who was comm.
| up them. "Hallo," said the gentleman
"Halloo," said the man, "Can you tell me,
said the old gentleman, where am goin
t. ~ "Yes," said the man; eff you g
straight on you will walk into the river; 70
I've just come out''
! Lilliputians in Michigan.