The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-02-04
4 steam JackaEx.


Z
A man living near Nashville, Wash
ington county, ILL.,, has recently in
vented an apparatus to take the place
Of whistles for railroad signals, steam
boats, fire alarms, factory-calls ar,
the like. He calls il the "Telcp,.n,,
but the popular name is tb'. s,not
jackass.' The inventor - % 81 80
farmer, and has dew s.e ny" hnh;.o " H'o
time to raising PCS "nIse nao,t' .,s
and anstomv F. appears to have stud
led ,arsfpp,: On his farm there was
q mnIs sf more than ordinary vocal
norsr whose voice could be heard a
Gistance Of four miles in every direc-
tion, when he once got warmed up to
his work. The owner computed that
If he could set in motion all tn. air in
. circle of eight miles in diameter, or
twenty-five miles in circumference, or
an area of fifty square miles, or thirty
two thousand acres, a hundred horse
power jackass could, all other things
being equal, rival any other noise yet
discovered. He established the fact
that the power Of an ordinary ass is
about one.twelfth of an indicated
steampower. A steam engine of one
thousand horsepower would there
fore be equal to the power of 10000
ordinary asses. Wherefore, if one ass
can fill e circle eight miles in diane
te', 10000 jackasses or one 1000
horsepower jackass would ill circle
Of 95, 900 miles in diameter.
The inventor thought this all over
carefully, arrived at the deduction
that If he could take natures vocal
apparatus and apply it to greater
power, he could produce larger and
more satisfactory volume of sound.
Filled with this idea, he put the mule
to death, and carefully severed the
head from the body. lie then injec-
ted solutions of chloride Of zinc and
arsenic into the veins and arteries Of
the head and neck, to prevent decay
of the flesh. Indian rubber was dis
solved in sulphuric ether and the So
luton forced through the trachea or
wind-pipe and through the larynX or
throat. The ether evaporated, leav-
ing a film of rubber on the membran-
es, and the injection and evaporation
were continued until the rubber film
was found of sufficient thickness.
These organs were then subjected to
a vapor of sulphur, heated to 800 de-
grees, by which process the rubber
was vulcanized, its elasticity in
creased, and the membranes rendered
imperyious to steam. These prepar-
atoms completed, short piece of
rubber hose was attached to the wind
pipe and connected with steam boil
er.
1t was moment Of agony TO the
inventor, as be placed the ass-head in
the hands of an assistant, and slowly
pulled the valve open; g moment of
thrilling interest. As the steam was
turned on, it passed into the wind
pipe, expelIins.,the air and producing a
sigh followed by a groan, snort a
chuckling, then q violent coughing
and sneezing. As a full head of
steam was turned on, the most fearful
noise, the most frigbtful guffaw, the
most vociferous bray that ever assail-
ed mortal ears, were produced. The
lips contracted, disclosing a terrible
array of teeth; the features developed
a satanic grin; the jaws raised and fell,
as the steam crowded the passages,
and the ears participated in the gcner-
al movement, giving to the head of
the ass an animated and excited ap-
pearance. The man who was hold
ing the head gazed upon it a moment,
with dilated ewes, colorl>s rs checks,
knocking knees and protruding
tongue; then suddenly losing all inter-
est in the performance, he emigrated.
As for the inventor, his success sue
ceeded his most sanguine anticipa-
tions. For an instant he comtempla-
ted the head, his countenance work
ing with every manifestation of in
tense delight, then he tco started, pro-
baby to learn the greatest distance to
which that voice would penetrate,
leaving it still in operation, with all
steam on The head lad now got
fully warmed up to his work, and
that bray went hunting through the
universe. 1t was an acoustic earth
quake; sky-shake; it was a donkey
carnival, jackass Fourth of July.
1t wa. the greatest success the world
has ever known.-St. Losis Globe.