Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1874-06-24
Armstrong;.

on the Yuba River, there lived queer
genius named Armstrong. He was an
honest miner, not differing materially
from his fellows, excepting that he had a
curious habit of speaking to himself. For
the simple reason that he departed from
common custom in this one particular, he
was of course voted crazy by the other
miners. TO call all persons g crazy" who
did not follow the customs of the majority,
is constant habit with men. But, day
after day, Armstrong worked away with
| his pick and shovel, caring nothing for
the remarks of his neighbors, and seeming
TO wish for no other partner in his tolls or
his rest, save the invisible parsonage whom
he always addressed in the second person
singular, and with whom he was almost
constantly in close and earnest converse
ton. The common drift ofhis talk, while
at work, would be about rs follows:
Rather tongh work, Armstrong-rich
dirt, though-grub dollar a pound-no
time to waste-pitch in, sir-hanged if
don't wish | was in the States. This min
ing's mighty hard work. Nonsense, Arm
strong; what a fool you are to be talking
in that way. with three ounces Il day right
under Your feet, and nothing to do but
Just to dig it out"
His conversation would be duly punctua
ted with strokes of the pick and lift of the
loaded shovel And 50 the day would pass
along, and Armstrong worked, and slept,
and talked with his invisible partner.
Well, it happened, in due course of time,
that the class of human vampires, com
monty called gamblers, made their APP
pearance at the camp where Armstrong
worked. AS he was not above following
the example of his fellows, he paid the
newcomers II visit. 1t is the same old
story After watching the game awhile,
he concluded it was the simplest thing in
the world So he tried his luck and won
"A hundred dollars. Now, any new eX
perience would always set Armstrong to
thinking and talking to himself worse than
ever. 1t was SO this time. Now, Arm
strong" he said as he hesitated about go
inc to his work the next morning, - that
is the easiest hundred dollars you ever
made in your life What the use of your
going into a hole in the ground to dig for
three ounces day? The fact is, Arm
strong. you are sharp. You were not
made for this kind of work. Suppose you
just throw away your pick and shovel,
leave the mines, buy a suit of stOre-clothes
and dress up like born gentleman. and
90 at some business that suits your talent "
thoughts and sayings into action. He left
the diggings and invested in fine clothes.
He looked like another man, but he was
still the same Armstrong, nevertheless.
: He was not long in finding an opportunity
to try new profession. Walking forth
in his fresh outfit, he had Just concluded a
long talk with himself about his bright
. prospects, when he halted in front of a
large tent with a sign on it, - Miners
Rest" Armstrong went in. 1t did not
seem to him that he remained very long.
but it was long enough to work n wonder
full revolution in his feelings When he
came out. he was Il changed man-that is
to say. he WAS a - changelcss man. He
was thunderstruck, amazed, bewildered.
He had lost his money, lost his new pros
+ pect. lost his self-conceit-loSte everything,
but his new clothes and his old habit OF
, talking to himself 1t is useless to say
: that Armstrong was mad. Armstrong
was very mad But there was no one to
be mad at but Armstrong himself, so self
! number two was in for a rough lecture:
Now, Armstrong, you are a nice spec
imen-you fool-you bilk-ycu dead-bea
YOU inf" Well. l need not repeat al
the hard things he said. Like King Rich
ard. he - found within himself no pity foI
himself"
But mere words were not sufficient. Il
was time for action. But Armstrong
never once thought of shooting, drowning
hanging, or any other form OF suicide
He was altogether too original, as well 4,
too sensible for that. Yet he was resolved
on something real and practical in the WAY
of reformatory punishment. He felt tn,
: need of self-imposed decree of bankrupt
III tln,.f ha fail
, as complete as possible and prevent a sim
liar course of foolishness in the future.
+ SO the broken firm of Armstrong &
, Self" went forth in meditation, long and
: deep Some of his thoughts were almoS
too deep for utterarce. But finally he
:. stood by the dusty road along which the
/ great freighting wagons were hauling
supplies to the mining camps up the Sacra
\ mento. One of the wagons drawn by 81,
yoke of oxen, was just passing Snap
I snap, snap, in slow, irregular succession
came the keen singing reports of the long
( Missouri ox-whip. G'langt g'lang. wo
hawn' shouted the tall, dust begrimet
: driver, as he swung his whip aud cast
sidelong glance at the broken firm, won
Y dcring ''What in thunder all them store
clothes was a-doin' thar" Now, wher
n Armstrong saw the long column of white
+ dust rising behind that wagon. he wa
f taken with an idea. SO he shouted to tn
v driver, to know if he might be allowed t.
walk in the road behind the wagon.
II Get in and ride" said the driver.
: mo- said Armstrong, Il wish t.
r walk"
e Then walk, you crazy fool, was tn
n accommodating response, as the drive
u swung his whip.
o Then came the tug of war. Greek neve
!. met Greek more fiercely than did the tw
t, contendng spirits composing the firm c
n Armstrong & Self, at that particular me
h ment Now, Armstrong;" said the impe
,r rious head of the firm, " you get right int
il the middle of that road, sir, and walk i
s that dust, behind that wagon, all the wa
" to the Packers Roost, on the Yuba River.
"What, with these clothes on? Why il
fifteen miles, and dusty all the way" IN
matter, sir, take the road. You squanJe
70 your money ut three-card monte; III teac
~ ~, you a lesson"
. sG'lang, grang." drawled the drive
=. as he glanced over his shoulder with Il cl
- - rious mingling of pity, contempt, and wor
- - der on his dusty face. More and MOI
r -, spitefully snapped the swinging whip {
- - the slow-paced oxen toiled mile after mil
under the heat of a September sun. An
there. in the road, trudged Armstrong b.
hind the wagon-slowly, YEARLY though
fully, but silently. He was q man VIII
y, always spoke his thoughts.
>" This serves YOU right, Armstrong
ANY man who will fool his money away
,o three-card monte deserves to walk in tt
- dust" 1T will spoil these clothes
.. "Well, don't you deserve it?" "TI
- dust fills my eyes" Yes, any man WI
"a CANDLES all his dust away at three-car
~ ~ monte deserves to have dust in his eyes
III and alkali dust at that" ''The dust choke
re me-" "All right; any man who will buc
- at monte deserves to be choked. Keep ii
III rood c;y-+ba middle of tho road-cIos