The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-07-22
SCRAPS.

Hatred Furnishes him who hates,
/; and love blesses the person who loves.
When impious men bear sway, the
post Of honor is the private station.
The spanking period is appropri-
ately called the balmy day Of child
hood.
Why is a fattcrer like q micro
scope? Because he magnifes small
things.
Temperance is corporeal piety ;
Ills the preservation Of divine order
in the. body.
"A Yankee editor has recently got
aap a remedy for hard times. 1t con
sists of ten hours labor we'll worked
in.
4 A snuff takers toast-He that is
not friend at q pinch, is not worth
q snuff.
Why are the Maries the most amia-
BILE of the sex?-because they can
always be Molly-ied.
Why arc ships called "shc?" Be-
cause they always keep a man on the
lookout.
A single burst Of mirth is worth q
whole season full Of cries with melan-
choly.
A barber at Portland, Maine, col
lects his pay from customers when he
gets them half shaved.
If every man works at that for
which nature has fitted him, tho COWS
will be we'll tended.
A Nebraska man and his wife hap
pened to clope on the same night, and
each left note for the other.
Man without desire and without
want would be without invention and
without reason.
A Maine husband wanted to bet
his wife that she could not whip q
panther; but she saw the joke and
refused to try.
"The child is father TO the mar"
W,Iic," says Gumioozseum on a bust,
".hc shild mush been married very
young"
Said justice to on obstrepcrous
prisoner, on the day Of his trial, awe
want nothing Of you but silence, and
d ID little of that"
"Change cars!" is what acity boot
Slack said to a countryman, the other
day, when he had finished blacking
one of his brogans.
IF there is one time more than an
other when a woman should be en-
'tirely alone, it is when line full OF
Eolothes comes down IN the mud.
stIt is forty years, John, since we
were boys together"-':Hush not so
loud There's young widow in the
next room."
Brigham Young recently said to a
meeting of Mormons: '5 pray for our
;enemies, brethren, hut 1 always pray
,that they may 60 to heil."'
Two conceited men hardly ever
fancy each other. And it is very hard
for two ambitious women to think
imuch Of each other.
The factory girls of Lowell, Mass,
turn out 739 miles of paper collars
per month, and weep to think OF the
countless young men whose necks
they will embrace.
The essentials of q watering-place
may be literally summed up thus
Sea, salt, sun, sand, shrimps, shells
steamers, ships and sailors:
An urchin being rcbuked for wear
ing out his stockings at the toes, re-
piled that that couldn't be helped,
,aaToes wriggle and heels didn't"
Unboundcd patience is necessary to
bear not only with ourselves, but
with ethers, whose various tempers
and dispositions are not congonial to
our own.
A Jury in San Diego, CAL, the other
day brought in verdict of moi
% uilty, with a request to the dcfen-
dant to restore the sheep.
A western moralist seasonably re-
marks that it is painful to hear an
,ungodly man say, '1t's as hot as gin.
ger" when yeu know that he doesn't
mean ginger at all.
A number of New England fur
naces have recently suspended opera
'tions, the companies not having Or
ders enough to clear out their manu-
factured supply of pig'iron.
A Young lady will sail in the mex
steamer from Boston to Europe wh(
doesn't expect to marry a nobleman
another one who isn't going to Italy
to study music.
The way to keep children from eat
ing dirt is TO give them wholesome
food: the way to keep them from
reading bad books is to put good one'
in their hands.
A good man, who has seen much &
the world, and is not tired of it, say
:"The grand essentials to happlne
are something 10 do, something
owe, and something to hope for"