The Portland daily press., 1874-02-28
From the Atlantic Monthly
A Tale of English Mail Coach Days.
BY ROBERT DALE OWEN.

Notwithstanding some eighteen or
| twenty stone-had occasion to travel in sum-
mer by stage coach from Oxford to London.
The stage carried six inside; and our hero
engaged two places las, in consideration of
his size, he usually did) for himself The
| other four seats were taken by Oxford
| students.
These youths, being lighter than our
modern Lambert, reached the stag. before he
did, ana each snugly possessed himself of
corr er seat leaving centre seat on each
side vacant. The round, good tempered face
of John Bull soon after appeared at the car
riage door; and, peering into the vehicle and
observing the local arrangements. its owner
| said with a smile: "YOu see l am of a
pretty comfortable size, gentlemen; so 1
have taken two seats. 1t will greatly oblige
me if one of you will kindly move into the
| opposite seat, so thatI may be able to enter"
my good sir" said a pert young law
student, possession is nine-tenths of the
law. You engaged two seats. There they
each. came first, entered regularly into pos
session, and our titles to the seats we occupy
are indisputable.'
81 do not dispute your titles" said the
other, but trust to your politeness, see
ing how the case stands, to enable me to pur-
sue my Journey"
''Oh, hang politeness," said hopeful
young scion of some noble house, II have a
horror of middle seat, and would not take
one to oblige my grandmother; it's ungrace-
full as well as uncomfortable; and beside,
one has no chance of looking at the pretty
girls along the road. Good old gentlem an
ar ange your concerns as you please; l stick
to my corner" And he leaned back,
yawned, and settled himself with hopeless
composure in his place.
Our corpulent friend, though man not
Ileannnncn6 vuoc hot V,,rt ant
by this unmannerly obstinancy. He turned
to smart-looking youth with shipper on
his face, clerical student who had hitherto
sat in reverie, possibly thinking over his
chance for a rich benefice in the future.
''Will you accommodate mep' he asked;
'this is the last stage that starts for London
to-day, and business of urgent importance
calls me to town."
''Some temporal affair, no Doubt" said
the graceess youth, with mock gravity;
''some speculation with filthy lucre for its
object. Good father, at your age your
thoughts should turn heavenword, instead of
being confined to the dull, heavy tabernacle
of clay that chains us to the earth.'' And
his companions roared with laughter at the
i'd clever joke.''
A glow of indignation just colored the
strangers cheek; but he mastered the feeling
in moment, and said, with much cOmposure,
to the fourth, care you also determined
that shall lose my place; or will you oblige
me by taking a centre seat?'
SAY, do, Tom, said his lordship to the
person addressed; 'here's something in the
way Of your profession, quite physiological
curiosity. You ought to accommodate him."
''May 1 be poisoned if dov' replied the
student of medicine. SIN dissecting room
he'd make an excellent subject; but in a
coach, and this warm weather, too ! Old
gentleman, if you'll put yourself under my
care, Pll engage in the course of six weeks,
by judicious course of depletives, to save
you hereafter the expense of double seat.
But really, to take middle seat in the month
fully is contrary tie all the rules of hygiene,
and practice to which have professional
objection"
Aud the laugh was renewed at the old
genteman's expense.
By this time the patience of coachee, who |
had listened to the latter part OF the dialogue,
was exhausted. "Harkee, gemmen,' said |
he, settle the business as you like; but it |
wants just three-quarters OF minute of |
twelve, and with the first stroke of the Uni
versity clock my horses must be off. would |
not wait three seconds longer for the king. |
God bless him. 'Twould be as much as nv |
place is WORTH" and with that he mounted |
hi box, took up the reins, bid the hostler |
shut the door, and sat with appraised whip
listening for the expected stroke.
As it sounded from the venerable belfry
the horses, as they recognized the signal, |
shot off at a gallop with the four young
rogues, to whom their own rudeness and our
fat friends dilemma afforded prolific theme
tor merriment during the whole stage.
Meanwhile the subject of their mirth hired
postchaise, followed and overlook them at
tne second change of horses, where the pas
sengers got out ten minutes for lunch. As
the postchaise drove to the inn door. two
young chimney sweeps passed with their bags
and brOomS and the well known cry
Come hither, my lads" said the corpulent
gentleman, "what say you to ride ?''
The whites of their eyes enlargened into
still more striking contrast with the dark
shades of the sooty cheeks. twill you have
a ride, my boys, in the stage coach p''
Gees, zur," eaid the elder, scarcely daring
ing to trust the evidence of bis ears.
''Well, then. hostler, open the stage door.
In with you'll And dye hearr be sure to take
the two middle seats so, one on each side."
The guards horn sounded, and coachee's
voice was heard: '.Only one minute and
half more, gentlemen; come onv'
They came, bowed laughingly to our friend
oa tne corporation, and passed on to the
f bis n The young lord was the first to put
n ,os ioot on the steps. WHY how now
coacnee? What confonnded Joke is This Gei,
ouo, YOU rascals, or I'll teach Won how to NAV
gentlemen such a trick again. ~" W p'"5
n,.ces ' s'l NJ my lads you re entitled to vour
tbronsb 1o y a noio the two middle seats
friends, are mine; they were regularly yta aIngg
and duly paid for. | choose that two nrol
teges OF mine shall occupy ,them. An EnS.
ilsh stage coach is free to every one who he.
haves quietly, and l am answerabe for their
good conduct; so mind you behave, bows!
our lordship has horror OF middle seat:
pray take the corner one.''
,Overreached us, by Jovev' said the law
student; I'VE give up the cause, and cry YOU
mercy, Mr.. Bull ''N
blythe is my name.''
,. I'VE cry quits, worthy Mr.. Blythe"
You forget that possession is ninetentbs of
the law, my good sir, and that the title Of
these lads to their seats IS indisputabe. I
have installed them as my locum tenentes. if
that be good law Latin. 1t would be boh,v
unjust to dislodge the poor youths, and can,
not permit it. You have your corner.o
''Heaven preserve US" exclaimed the
clerical student.
ssVo,, n ,o euroIx NJ ofo nd Of hloo;- |