Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1872-1875, 1874-10-29
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Iidon't suppose that another man ever
lived like that Ohio editor who lifted
me out of the back end OF an 5onihdiiib5uB Omnibus;
one night, led menp i've pairs ofIstairs
and undertook to; tell me how. was to
assist in running the local department
of the paper. "You Sec, ,ssaid he jab-
bing at q eoekreaeh with the ,ehears,
"you want to be, positive in what you
say; folks here won't believe any Of
yeur auppoae aosiandl allegations II Say
puted OF, il they are disputed, send
fix him. Il He was o great man for fun |;
high APPRECIATION for humor. He was
always wanting me to get off something
sharp on some one, no matter who, and
he ranm so much had to quit. For
instance he came down one morning and
said: "Now, Charles, get Of, alhit ON
n man i died % Years ago. No on matter, tie nc, no
matter" he went on, aget off isomeI
thing or I'll discharge fyou.'"1, AS; $75 q
year was an object tome then, T handed
in n pretty big item. That's good,
that's positive" he replied, and in it
weat. The paper hadn't been out an
hour. before dozen were providing IN
after an explanation. nj H Isityour name
Cmsar?" asked the Fold man of each in
turn. "No." "Well, then, who's run.
ming this Caesar business aAih't Z here
to disseminate knowledge2,r ?, DON'T Lido
her Z" And he finally threw another
sheet on the "pointsn f-A Z
T "Now, Charles, said he again. "get
off adlick, onu George y Washingto
something under a lively headline. {"
But he's been written up, replied!
P" No '1matter-get off . something, sor
here's my note Of hand for the balance
due you" AS, his note OF hand was
rather q good thing to Keep, ] ding out
severe thing under tho head ofaB Bru.-i
tai Outrage" There, was o Washing
tonian society in town, and half It's
members were rushing iuptstairs ebefote
the edition was half u9a! cen :" Bassse BaassseI
wretch, = shouted the president..r Ca
lumniator of genius squeaked tha old
maid secretary! iitVlsi rascal thissed
q young man, with his hair. behind his
ears, Gentlemen, and old maid, "'be!
gan the editor, as he rolled up,IhiH
sleeves, "why am I here? If any OF
you know more about George Wash:
ington than i do; why Just take and run
this Office And they had, to 60 away
with their minds in an unsettled state.
Another time, when he had run over
a whole volume of ancient history with
out finding one to hit, says he, :" Get
off something on me. That's just
what I wanted, and I wrote ! We
want wood on subscription to-, this pa,
per. Some of our subscribers prom
ised to pay for their paper ia wood
more than ten years ago, end it's aboAt
time they brought it in, We want ut;
wood d-wood---wood." 1t was in July,
AMI there were thirteen loads of,wood
in front of the office before noon. They
got there about the same time, and
"Gentlemen," said the odd man, after
wood wood is noun is is' verb,
and wood is o. noun again. The oh
jective case governs the requirements
sive Of thirteen loads, according to
chapter seventy-one, rule three, And
every time they went to say any
thing about wood he got that of at
them, until they all went down in q
body threatening to vampire him at the
first opportunity. 7Al g''.A S7'11
The last thing i have any recollection
of was "getting off something" on the
mayor of the town. He went by old
Sykes one evening without nodding,
aud ] had no sooner entered the Office
than I heard, ".Go for Muggs; give it
to him hot; yank him all to pieces, and
leave his shattered remains hanging to
| the steeple Of the coart-house.p. Z. (" But
he" began, when Sykes came CLOSE
up to him, breathing hard, and says he,
"Young man, 60 for Muggs. / hate to
part with you, but Smith offers to fill
your situation for. dollar less" SO
sat down to do up Muggs. Sykes was
going away, and he left me to my judg-
ment. wrote an article that thought
would please the old man for p9sitiv-
ness, and it went under a triple heading.
was just looking up the paste pot in
the burglar proof safe to keep it from
the rats, when I heard yelling on the
streets, and the office door came in on
| mo. saw stars, comets, spots on the
| sun, new moons, and {" came to" in the
next town, when I sent the following
dispatch to the old man: "H you can
pay your board bill stay where you are.
The press is ruined. The long primer
is in Hardy's horse-pond. The mailing.
table, the bank. and the now lob rack
went over the dam last evening. Things
amt as they was We made o big hit
on Muggs, and he retal,ated powerfully.
have hired out to quiet old farmer
here, and think shan't pursue Che
'get!off' business any furthor." In
about two months I got reply. Here
is all that was said: Young man, al.
ways be positive in your assertions. -