Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1874-12-20
VARIETIES,

If thy enemy wrong thee buy each
OF his children drum.
An Oshkosh judge got four bars of
soap for marriage fee.
B natural is the keynote of good
breeding.
Dollars and sense do not necessa-
rally travel together.
"Telling an unveracity' is a new
and elegant phrase.
Aids to temperance-Crusa and
lemonade.
The salary of $4,000 per annum
paid to President Jewett, of the Erie
Railway, is the largest paid to any
railroad official in the United States,
and, it is believed, larger than any
paid to any railway officer in the
world.
"You are writing my bill on very
rough paper" said client to his at
torney. Never mind" said the
lawyer; " it has to be filed before it
comes into court
A mouse came to the Goshen Post
Office in the mail bag last week, but
was stopped because no stamp was
attached to his tail.
A sign with the following inscrip-
ton has its being in New Haven:
.'all Persons ARR forbidden Do
Crossing thes lots under Benalty of
the law"
So much are men enamored of
their miserable lives, that there Is
no condition so wretched to which
they are not willing to submit, pro-
vided they may live.
A pusillanimous Iowa husband
applied for divorce from his wife
on the ground that she IS an invalid.
He did not get it.
One of our subscribers thinks we
are not religious enough. He wants
us to be more dignified and sedate,
and to go strong for temperance.
Strange that he should think so. We
are so good now that it makes us
cross-eyed.
THE fancy for wearing little
bunch of natural or artificial flowers
with the bow at the throat is on the
increase with the ladies.
AT a meeting in London, to re-
ceive report from the missionaries
sent to discover the tribes OF Israel,
Lord H-was asked to take the
chair. II take" he replied, "a
great interest in your researches,
gentlemen. The fact is, have bor-
rowed money from all the jews now
known, and if you can find new
set l shall feel very much obliged
RATHER good rifle shooting is
thus described by the editor of the
TROY Whig: ave have seen man
hold his rifle in his left hand and
toss chip with his right hand into
the air, and then, bringing his rifle
to his shoulder, put bullet through
the chip"
"Sponge baths" are recommended.
The best way to get one is to go to
some bath. room, take bath, and
tell the proprietor to charge it.
A teacher had been explaining to
his class the points of the compass,
and all were drawn up facing the
north. "Now what's before you,
.John?" "The north, Sir" "And
what behind you, Tommy "My
coat tail, SIR said he, trying at the
same time to get glimpse of it.
NJ. d. Conway tells a good story
of Rothschild in his entertaining ar
ticle ON decorative art in England
in the November Halper'S. a Top
once bothered one of the Rothschllds
bv boasting of a set of malachlte
studs he had just bought, and ask
ing the great banker if he did not
admire them. Oh, yes" says
Rothschild, "very pretty, indeed;
have got a mantle-piece like that at
home"
CprNDsroNEs are considered safe
Droperty to invest in, because, II you
cannot sell it you can turn it.
A few days since was born in the
CITY of Baltimore, Md, one of the
largest infants ever seen in America.
The child's name is Sam. He only
weighs 6,292H pounds, or little
less than three tons. So large was
Sam that it was found necessary to
turn him over on his side in order
that he might pass through the por-
tai of his sleeping apartment. HIS
lungs are of stentorian power, be-
ing the loudest and strongest ever
heard upon this continent. Sam is
an expensive child, his outfit having
cost $4,000. His height is ten feet
four inches, width of mouth hve
feet ten inches. When weaned he
is to have quarters in the tower OF
the New York City Hall. Sam was
bell.
Danbury little darkey refused
to 60 to church "kase he dldnt
want to look there like auckleber-
ry in a pan of milk. .'-Da"o"'y
Ne,CS.
A we'll dressed chap entered Jew
elry store in Detroit and asked II ne
could see those cups in the window
pointing, as he spoke, to some SILVER
cups lined with gold. "These, salo
the ieweler, handing him one, " are
race.cups." "Race-cups! what are
raea-cuns9n uWhy," replied the