The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-12-11

then carrying by the window-and buried
me the next minute.
| laughed until l Jared the chair out
from under the one end of my board, and
down ] went with crash.
Then the doctor vsntursd into the room,
saying rather obviously
$50 you are not dead after all, Benz
''Weil, no, not exactly" | replied; ''sor-
ry to disappoint my friends about the fu-
neral, hswever.'
Yes" he said, rather absently, ''bad
rasher-that is-ahem ~
''F0oled out Of that SNUFF cclored stripe ~
l thought as l looked at Jerusha.
$50 and speak to him. said her father
ia stage-whisper. ''He's got the stamps
and you had better marry him after all"
The, began to crowd around me and
congratulate me on my escape.
| noticed .hay they cried great deal
more now than they did when l was dead.
Jerusha came and hung around my neck,
sniveliug desperately.
L gave her s. net over-gentie push and
told her to waiy next tise until was safely
buried before you set on my old clothes.
ooh, | am so glad - she said sweetly
without appearing to notice what | said
about The clothes-'that you aie not dead,
Benny dear. Ply heart seems all withered
and broken too see you lying there so cold
and white. l wept bitterly above your
pale face, my beloved
''Yes,'' replied, l heard you and Bob
- Ia J.
me-
''Could you hear?'' she gasped.
al rather think | could-some," Ireplied.
She looked toward the door, but it was
crowded fur, so she made i dive for tho
open window and went thrsug it like a
deer.
She shut herself up in the smolle-house
and would not come out until after [ had
left tie house.
Bob would not fulfil his promise of mar
riage with his cousin because she tried to
make up with me again so she is living a
i lie of single blessedness.
While | am writing, my wife is cutting 2
up my snuff colored clothes to make a
stripe in p new carpet for our front room.
y VIRGINIA INCIDENT.-Old Mark Kal
/ lar, says the Charlottesville va Chronicle
/ was citizen Of Augusta county, and it has
/ not been decade since he emigrated tC
the undiscovered country" Mark wa.
/ somewhat eccentric, as an evidence o.
/ which we may state that he procured bi
second wife bypurchase for the extravagau
! sum of So, and was married in a full sui
/ of red flannel. The money for the spOus,
/ was paid to the agent who did the counting
and not to the fair dame, who gave heIsel
/ up without money and without price ,
AS may be readily imagined, Mrs. Kalla
was not the most exemplary of wives, anC
I brief acquaintance demonstrated the fac
that she was rs fond of the bottle as Mark
himself. The couple in this particular
/ we've well mated, and passed many years
! together with great satisfaction and remark
! able harmony.
One summer day, however, the OLD Inar
was made awiGower in shocking manner
/ The couple stared on foot for the count,
seat, and Mark, being more active than til,
old lady, had advanced considerably ahead
The madam t.udged along lcisurely, smolz
ing her pipe, when by some means he
clothing caught FIRE and she was burnee
there i'll the publio'road literally to a crisp
| Two gentlemen on horseback on their wa,
TO Staunton, came suddenly on the roaste.
body of the poor creature, and stood horri
fed at the ghastly spectacle. One of then
rode ahead, and overtaking the old MAJ
infol med him of the terrible occurrence
( Mark expressed no emotion, but turninl
around with grunt, retraced his steps anC
soon reached the scene of the terrible ca
tastrophe. There lay the blackened coTps,
of his wife, SO charred and disfigured a
scarcely to be recognized. NalI1 walke,
with cane and hobbling up to the bod
he gave it punch Or SO with the stick
Standing over it in a half bent posture
! After surveying it he paic the following ell
oqueEt and pathetic tribute to the r,crnol,
of the deceased 'Humph! I told her si,
had better leave her pipe at home Nov
what Ii do for a housekeeper ~
/ -
A SPEEDY" CALCULA ,rON.-Whle rid
! ing from South Paris to Portland som,
: years ago, on the Grand Trunk r. r. O.
Maine, then newly opened, | overheard 6
middle-aged man, in the seat directly before
me, expressing to u companion his wendei
at the rapid advance of Improvement
/ He was evidently from the backwoods. and
his speech gave proof that be was Yankee
: born and bred. Said he
''Wal, ] swan, It's Gurus haow we !u
git M. Now when [ aiu'f n Ioolliu, o,,f f,
| the win6er, it don't seem as though we was
Scootin' it so dreadful but when look
at the trees-Jerusha don't they spin by,
Only think-I can remember when it took
dad an |, onct, four days, of hard travelin',
TO git from Paudunk tew Bosting. Then,
by IN by, theistage was put on the German
road, an by hard pushn' we could git
through tew Portland in a day That
made it three days. Then, By gracious,
when they get on 4 steamboat, we could 90
! in tcw days. Naow look at it Geewhit