, 1874-07-05
HUA1pH.

Con- Butler makes boast Of belonging to tho
Cock eye plan raee.-Grdphic.
The ointnshionel wOMau's cruBale-A bora
head and line-tooth comb.
IA accomplished oplic'an suggeBts to tho
opponents Of corporal punishment that the
Place TOR "rupIla ~ under tile LASH.
-Whon woman blushes and wosps can sho
be aasd to raise hue and ory7
-Dr. Mary WI kor denies tllat young Treaa-
urv clerk rocognizcs her az hls long lost father.
Tho last excuso that young mon oircr to hol
mother H., Want to take her over to the park
Rld SHOW her the ooIn8t, ma 'atn.'
IL Kentucky farmer saya that tlreo good
bulldogs roaming tho yard nights will do more
to keop nan honest thau MI the talking In tic
world.
-A Noyada panor says: uTtero was mn recr,.
lar trial Ill the case Of John Flaldo1s yesterday,
Ho had III interview iu the woods with a foyg
ttlenus howovnr, and 1t is perfectly certain that
John won't burgle any moro"
An Illinois boy rubbed araeno on h!s tcoth, 40
that he could bite llls fator in the Leg aud doso
him "hen tho old man hauled him over hH kuoo.
The intost douge OF San Francisco chtFopo-
dist III to exhibit small boy and announce that
he has pee!' successfully removed from curn.
In Columbus. il man cheats at cfoa1ot.
thc young LADIES' caress the lango Of bis oar ,sith
maltet.
IL Virginia Sheriff asked d murderer II ho
wantod to make q spoocl, Oh tie gailowH, and tho
man replied: :" Guess not; |. lookB like rain, and
X
Tho fool seokoth to puck flY from a mnlo'a
hind-leg. The wiHo man iettoth out tho Job to
tho lowest bidder.
-" Now s the lime for roasttng-ears," writeA
rural editor. lie should carry q sun-umbrsl!a.
=" Clauge ours !" III what city boo4blaok
said to countryman, the other day, when hs
lad finished b!ackiug one Of his bsoyalas.
Thoroughly cspectablo-" Wel, think you
will suit ms. What ls yonr namo ?" Shak-
speare, ma'am but no relation to the play-aoto1
OF thut name,"-PuHch
"a debating club il trying to decide Which IL
tho worst, nother-in-law IN the house or a pair
Of cats on tho wood.shed.
tho price Of small coftns to muzzle the boys dur
Ing Rreen-apple season.
=" Whom Que Of our city roughs wants btte"
says New York papsr, "and cant get anything
olHe, he puts up with a nose. Tho human pro-
boscis Beams to bo considered a groat dsIicaoy
among them"
Some one wrote to Horace Greeley inuuir-
Ing II guano wna good to put on potatoaa. Ho
said it might do for thoao whose tastea had be-
forred gravy and butter.
"A farmer giyoB this bit Of advice, which
contains good hint: II you want tho boys to
stay on the farm, don't hear on too hard whea
tho boy IL turning the grinl-ssons."
IA Davenport newspaper speaks Of D doctor
in TINT city "aookiug with dcep-meaning
smile upon large lot Of green oucumhers ia
the MARKET" On his way home ha wns OBJ
served to whisper conldentlally to several un-
destakers.
-" NY dear" said Tifo. looking up from her
neTapapor," what ia the difference between
'colllls!on anil collision ~ "0hi" rasponl-
eu tue husband. ~ Is simply the difference
bot"oon anu g. oh! yes," retorted the
vile; "and the aamo difference o1ists in your
answer, who'll Ii moro Ingenious than ingena-
GUS.
-Ihe editor OF the Columbia Is: o. Mai with
grateful eloqnence acknowledged the receipt
OF mlN,paicn e., IN ono oo'nmn. mud III the next
Pu6Ished Temperance Department" Sonu-
BODY hAs complainea Of bis Inconsistency, and
nc? nc eapialns tnns tue "odltor Of tia Mail has
nothing to DO with What goes into tile temper
auce co column Of LIS paper. nor have tue Eent'a-
mon who conduct TINT department anything to
TO With wllat goes into the editor Of tile Mail"
a ti1nld man wants to know "how to tell
mnd m dog. We don't know what he wants to
tell him, but the safest way would bo to COM
mlnicato with the dog in writing: Send the let
ter teri from 9 % knn II n the sane I. Of wald1ng, fol-
1o"eu ~ small shot TO ace II ho gafs It,,
=" Haven't got a batsor nn1stshirt than
thia3 lt'a spl't clear down the buck" IL what q
Aud when the Indy lacked in ai!l snW her iulR.