Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1874-10-09

ing;
don't suppose that another man
ever lived like that Ohio editor, who
lifted me out Of the back end of an om-
nibus one night, led me up five pairs of
stairs, and undertook to tell me how
was to assist in running the local depart
ment of the paper You see,' said he,
jabbing at a cockroach with the shears,
you want to be positive in what you
say; folks here won't believe any Of
your suppose SOS and allegations. Say
what you say in words that cant be dis
puted; or, if they are disputed, send the
fellow into the other room, and I'll fix
him." He was great man for fun he
never laughed himself but he had a high
appreciation Of humor. He was always
wanting me to get off something sharp
on some one, no matter who, and he run
me SO much that had to quit. For in
stance, he came down one morning and
said: Now, Charles, get off local hit
on Julius Caesar" why, sir, the old
man died years ago." "No matter-no
matter" he went on, get off something
or I'll discharge you" AS seventy-fve
dollars year was an object to me then,
handed in pretty biting item. "That's
good, that's positive" he replied. and it
went in. The paper hadn't been out an
hour before dozen were crow0ing iE
after an explanation. :" Is your name
Caesar asked the old man of each in
turn. "No." "Well, then, whose run
ming this Cesar business Amt here
to disseminate knowledge? Don't / do
her? ?" And he finally threw another
sheet on to the "points."
"Now, Charles" said he again, get
off lick at George Washington-some-
thing under lively headline" But
he's been written up," replied. "No
matter-get off something, or here's my
note of hand for the balance due you"
As his note of hand was rather good
thing to keep, I dug out a severe thing
under the head of Brutal Outrage"
There was Washingtonian society in
town, and half its members were rush
ing up stairs before the edition was half
off. Base wretch" shouted the presi-
dent. Calumniator OF genius" squeak
ed the old maid secretary. Vile ras-
cal" Kissed a young man, with his hair
behind his ears. Gentlemen and old
maid" began the editor, as be rolled
back his sleeves, "why am / here If
any of you know more about George
Washington than do, why just take and
run this office" And they had to go
away with their minds in an unsatisfed
state. Another time, when he had RUIZ
over whole volume of ancient history
without finding one to hit, says he:
Get off something on mel That's
just what / wanted, and I wrote: "We
want wood on subscription to this paper.
Some of our subscribers promised to pay
for their paperin wood morethan ten years
ago, and it is about time they brought
it in. We want wood-wood.
1t was in July, and there were thirteen
loads of wood in front Of the office be-
fore noon. They got there about the
same time, and thirteen farmers came up
in a body. Gentlemen" said the old
man, after they had stated their errands,
wood is wood; wood is noun /; is is
a verb, and wood is noun again. The
objective case governs the requirements
of the adverb which is the possessive of
thirteen loads, according to chapter sew
enty-one, rule three" And every time
they went to say anything about wood,
he got off that at them, until they all
went down in a body, threatening to
vampire him at the first opportunity.
The last thing | have any distinct rec
objection Of was getting eff somethiDg,"
on the mayer of the town. He went by
old Sykes one evening without nodding,
and l had no sooner entered the office
than l heard, $50 for Mugs give it
to him hot; yank him all to pieces, and
leave his shattered soul hanging to the
steeple of the court house" " But he"
| began, when Sykes came close up to
me, breathing hard and says he: "Young
man, go for Muggs. hate to part with
you, but. Smith offers to fill your situa-
lion for dollar less" So | sat down
to do up Mugs. Sykes was going away,
and he left me to my judgment. wrote
an article that thought would please
the old man for positiveness, and it went
in under triple heading. l was just
locking up the paste pot in the burglar
proof safe, to keep it from the rats, and
/ heard yelling on the streets and the
cffice door came in OH me. saw stars,
comets, spots on the sun, new moons, and
"came to i" in the next town, when
sent the following dispatch to the old
man: 4" If you can pay your board bill,