The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-07-01
ph.eh, phun and pphanoy:

IL
buouc, s.but for honesty and capacity
and integrity, bate the dlvll-so
! do" -...
A small boy in New Haven made
sensation for a short time, by qui-
.tly transferring card bearing the
gorls. "Takc One" from a lot Oh
handbills in front of Il store to pas
Ilct Of oranges.
"A Georgia negro who bet Wv
hat General Washington command
II the Federals at Bull Run handed
he money over, with the remark;
"Well. dis here hist'ry business IS
all mixed up. anyway
Sunday school teacher (reproV-
ingly)-"Boys, do you know what
dav this isY' Streetboy--"iii, TEL
lers! here's a cove as don't know
what day this is! guess he's been
out ali night.r'
An old lady with large family,
living near a river, was asked if she
did not live in constant fear that
some of her children would drow'
'.Oh, no." she replied, tive have only
lost three or four in that way"
AT the court Of Louis XIV. there
we're two fat noblemen--couslns.
The king rallied one of them on his
corpulcncy, and added: Il suppose
YOU will take little or no exerciseF
Your majesty will pardon me, re-
piled the duke, "for generally walk
two or three times round my cousin
every morning"
"A firm dealing largely in coal in
one of our Western cities had in theil
service an Irishman named Barney
One day the head of the firm, Irri'
tated beyond endurance at one OF
Barncy's blunders,..tol him to go tt
the office and get his pay, and added
You are so thick headed / can moi
teach you anything" 'Begora," says
Barney. 81 larn wan thing since Eve
been wild YET "Whats that?' ask
ed his employer. "That sivinteeI
hundred make ton"
Rowland Hill, when at College
was remarkable for the frequent wit
tiness Of his observations. In q con
versation on the powers of the lette
II, in which it was contended that /
was no letter, but a simple aspira
ton or breathing Rowland took tn
opposite of the question, and insist
cd on its being, to all intents an
purposes, q letter, and concluded b
observing that, if it were not, it wa
a very serious affair to him, as
would occasion his i'll all the days c
his life.
-"What's hay?" asked a man {
an honest Granger in Burlington
Iowa, the other morning. The ?. {
RI. told him $3.50, and followed til
man around the wagon, as he exam
ined the hay very carefully. He e.
pressed himself perfectly Statistic
with the price and liked the looks
the hay. "Shall l put it in your o.
barn?" asked the Granger. eve
no." the man said, 81 only want
good clean straw to chew" "Tal
two; one is hardly sufficient for
donkey" replied the old hay me
chant
"A hater of tobacco asked an o
negro woman, the fumes of who
pipe were annoying to him, if 81
thought she was Christian. aye
brudder, | spect ! is" 'Do you b
licve in the Bible?" eyes brudder
do you know that there is pa
sage in the Scriptures that declar
that nothing unclean shall inner
The kingdom of heayen?" eyes, T.
heard of it." "Well, Chloe, VI
smoke, and you can not entJe Il
kingdom of heaven, because Rcre
nothing so unclean as the breath OF
smoker, What do you say to that
why, ! spects ! leave my bretf b
hind when | go dar."
A bit of impudence that occurs
in the store of New Orleans me
chant few days ago is thus q
scribed by the Picayune: "a ragg
looking individual entered the stol
and addressing the merchant, pit
ously asked "a nickel to get my m
Their loaf of bread--please, sir
joyial neighbor, also mercha,
with slight twinkle in his e,
thinking to have joke with the be
y,rodunnd q nick al on1 cold, lNI, g.,