The Grange advance., 1874-05-06


that poetry in a shape which would
make the stricken family feel proud d
the corpse. When his days work was
done OFT went home with a conviction
that The Morning Glory had finally rob-
bed Death of it's terrors, and made life
comparatively valueless.
| In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the Office for the purpose of
embalming in sympathetic verse the men,
ories of other departed ones. AS he
came near to the establishment he OBJ
served crowd of five or six thousand
people in front Of it, struggling to get
into the door. Climbing tree, he ov-
erlooked the crowd, and could see within
the Office the clerks selling papers as fast
as they could handle them, while the
mob pushed and jammed and yelled in
frantic efforts to obtain copies - the
presses in the cellar meanwhile changing
away like mad. Upon the curbstone in
front Of him there was line of men
stretching down the street for four
squares, each man engaged in reading
The Morning Glory with an earnest
ness that Mr.. OFT had never before seen
displayed by the patrons of that Sheet
The bard concluded that either his po-
etry had touched sympathetic chord in
the popular heart, or that an appalling
disaster had occurred in some quarter Of
the globe.
He went around to the back of the
Office and ascended to the editorial rooms.
AS he approached the sanctum loud
voices were heard within. Mr.. OFT de-
termined to ascertain the cause before
entering. He obtained chair, and,
placing it by the side door, he mounted
and peeped over the door through the
transom. There sat J. Alfred Brimmer
holding The Morning Glory in both
hands, while the fringe which grew in a
semi i-circle around the edge Of his bald
head stood straight out, until he seemed
to resemble gigantic gun~swab. Two
or three persons stood in front of him in
threatening attitudes. OFT heard one of
them say:
my name is McGlue, sir !-William
McGlue ! I am brother Of the late AL.
exander McGlue. I picked up your
paper this morning and perceived in it
al outrageous insult to ny deceased
relative, and have come around to de-
mand sir, what do you mean by the
following infamous language?
The dssthenssl smots Alexander Mcalus.
r.! Ard s.ve hte peotsaetsd .epese:.
AID 10 bad pink wart on his nese
No "aee aoees es!s. be 70 hsppiss Dwelling IN space
HE friends in1orsd that his funer.l takse n,>c.
Precisely ss quarter past four"
"This is simply diabolical! NY late
brother had no wart on his nose, cir.
He had upon his nose neither a pink
wart nor green wart, nor \ cream
oolored wart, nor = wart Of any color.
1t is slander! 1t is a gratuitous in
suit to my family, and distinctly want
you to say 'ohat you mean by such con-
duct !"
Really, sir" said Brimmer, cit is
a mistake. This is the horrible work
Of an incendiary miscreaut whom I
trusted as brother. He shall be pun.
ished by my own hand for this outrage
A pink wart! Awful, sir-awful The
miserable scoundrel shall suffer for this
he shall, indeed! !"
"How could l know" murmured
OFT, out there by himself, "that the
corpse hadn't pink wart? used to
know man named McGlue, and he
had one, and / thought all the McGlues
had: This comes Of irregularities in
families"
"And who:" said another man, ad-
dressing the editor, authorized you to
print this hideous stuff about nv de-
ceased son? Do you mean to say that
it was not with your authority that your
low comedian inserted with my adver-
tisement the following scandalous bur-
lesque? Listen to this:
"willie had purple monkey climbing on yellow
And when he sucked the paint all of it made him
And in his latest hours he casped that monkey in his
| Ana o,d goodbye to earth and went into better
"Oh no more he'll shoot his sister with his little
wooden gun;
And no more he'll twist the pussys tail, and make
her yowl for fun.
fhe p9ssys tai now stands out straight the gun is
The monkey doesn't jump around since little Willie
| died.
1.-The utterly atrocious character of
this bladderdash will appear when say
that William was twenty years old, that
he never had purple monkey on a