Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1874-06-19
humorous shetebes.
How Hook got his Dinner.

Of that extraordinary man. One of the
streets near Soho Square, either Dean
Street or Fifth Street, was the scene of ac-
ton. Hook was lounging upon one OF
those streets in company with Terry, the
actor, when they saw through the kitchen
window preparations for "A handsome din
ner.
what a feast said Terry. Jolly dogs
| should like to make one of them.'
IN take any bet returned Hook, that
| do; call for me at ten O'Clock, and you'll
find that / shall be able TO give tolerable
account of the worthy gentleman's cham
payne and venison.'
So saying, he marched up the steps, gave
an authoritive rap with the FURNISHED
knocker, and was quickly lost to the sight
Of his companion. As matter of course
he was immediately ushered in by the SER
want, as an unexpected guest, into the
drawing room, where large party had al
ready assembled. The apartment, being
nigh full, no notice was taken of his intru-
sion, and half dozen people were laugh
ing at his bon mots before the host disco
yered the mistake. Affecting not to OBJ
serve the visible embarrassment OF the lat
ter, and ingeniously avoiding tie opportu-
nifty for explanation, Hook ratified on till
he had attracted the create: p;.rt OF the
company in the circle near him, and some
considerable time elapsed ere the old gen
tleman was able to catch the attention Of
the agreeable stranger.
Il beg your pardon, he said, coatriving
at last to get in word but your name,
sir,-I did not quite catch it-servants are
so abominably incorrect, and am really
at loss
Don't apologize, l beg, graciousiy in
terpOsed Theodore. 'Smith-my name is
Smith-and as you justly observe, servants
are always making some stupid blunder or
another. / remember n remarkable in
stance etc.
But really, my dear sir" continued the
host at the termination of the story illus.
trative of the stupidity in servants, Il think
the mistake on the present occasion does
not originate in the source you allude to
j certainly did not expect The pleasure of
Mr.. Smiths company at dinner to-day
No, dare say not, you said four III your
note know, and nov, see, a quarter
past fve-you are little fast, by the way
but the fact is, have been detained in the
city, and was about to explain when
Pray exclaimed the other as soon as he
could stay the volublity Of his guests,
whom, may ask, do you suppose you are
addressing p
Whom? Why, Mr.. Thompson, of
course-old friend of my father have not
the pleasure, indeed, of being personally
known to you, but having received your
invitation on my arrival from Liverpool
Firth street, four O'Clock, family party
come in boots, you See have taken you at
your word. l am only afraid | have kept
you waiting
No, no, not at all. But permit me to
observe, my dear sir, my name is not ex-
actly Thomrson--it is Jones, and
Jones = repeated the sefstyled Smith,
in admirably assumed CONSERVATION
Jones Why surely cannot have--yes,
must-good heaven! / see it all. Ny
dear sir. what an unfortunate blunder-
wrong house --w what must you think of
such intrusion am really at a loss for
words in which to apologize. You will
permit Inc to retire at present, and tO-mor
row
Pray don't think of retlring,' exclaimed
the hospitable old gentleman; your friends
table must have been cleared long ago,
if you say, four was the hour named and
am only too happy to be able to offer you
a seat at mine'
Hook, of course could not think of such
a thing-could not think of trespassing
upon the kindness of perfect stranger /;
ii too late for Thompson there were
plenty Of chop houses at hand. The un-
fortunate part Of the business was, he had
made an appointment for a gentleman TO
call for him at ten O'Clock. The good ma
tured Jones, however, positively refused
to allow so entertaining visitor to depart
dinnerless Mrs. Jones Joined in the solc-
tation the Misses Jones smiled bewitch-
ingly and at last Mr.. Smith, who soon re-
covered his confusion, was prevailed on to
offer his arm to one of the ladies, and take
his place at the well furnished board
In all probability the family of Jones
never passed such an evening before. Hook
naturally exerted himself To the utmost TO
keep the party in an increasing roar of
laughter, and keep good the first impress
sion. The mirth grew fast and furious,
when, by way of finishing stroke, he
seated himself at the pianoforte, and struck
off into one Of those extemporaneous efliu-
sions which had filled more critical judges
than Jones with delight and astonishment.
Ten O'Clock struck, and, on Mr.. Terry be-
ing announced, his triumphant friend
wound up the performance with the expla-
natory stanZa-
/ am very much pleased with your fare,
Your cellars prime as your cook,
My friends Mr.. Terry the PLAYER,
And Pm Mr.. Theodore Hook.
AT Evansville, Indiana, recently, man
fell into ditch on the outskirts of the town
in such manner that he was unable to eX-
tricate himself A kind-hearted pedeslri-
an helped him TO his feet. and after the
thing had been accomplished our hero said
'All right-hic-Ill vote for you TIE
stranger looked at him doubtfully, and
wished to know what for. 'Wha' office We
running for p Il? None at all, was the
answer. Not a candidate p No, why p
'Why-hic-whyP Cause ] don't know
as any man d-hic-help mother as you
did 'thout bein' a candidate =
YOUNG gentlemen, do not get into the
habit Of betting said professor TO his
class. NO kind of bet is excusable, in fact
every bet is a sin as well as mark Of vul-
garity. Have nothing to do, young gentle