The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-11-13
Mark Twain on Insurance.


Recently the Hartford insurance men
entertained at a complimentary banquet
| Cornelius Walford, an English gentle
man well known as writer on subjects
connected with their business. Among
the h0spitable crowd was s. L. Olem-
ents, better known by his nom de plume
of Mark Twain, and of course he was
called upon to make speech. This is
what he said 7 F--z a--
Gentyenen-I. am glad indeed to as
sist in welcoming the distinguished
guest of this occasion to q city whose
fame as an insurance centre has extended
to all lands and given us the name of
being a quadruple band of brothers
working sweetlys hand in hand, the
Colts Arms company making the de-
struction of our race easy and conven-
lent, our life insurance citizens paying
for the victims when they pass away,
Mr.. PATTERSON perpetuating their memo
~ with his stately monuments, and our
fire insurance comrades taking care of
their hereafter. I am glad to assist In
welcoming our guest-frst, because he
is an Englishman, and owe heavy
debt of hospitality to certain of his fell
Iow-countrymen and, secondly, be-
cause he Is IN sympathy with insurance,
aud has been the means of making
many other men cast their sympathies
in the same direction.
Certainly there is no nobler field for
human effort than the insurance line of
business especially accident insurance.
Ever since I have been director IN an
accident Insurance company have felt
that am better man. Life has seemed
more precious. Accidents have assumed
kindlier aspect. Distressing special
providences have lost half their horror.
I look upon cripple now, with. affec-
tionate interests an advertisement.
I do not seem to care for poetry any
more. I do not care for politics, even
agriculture does not excite me. But to
me, now there is charm about rail-
way collision that is unspeakable.
There is nothing more benefeent than
accident insurance. have seen an en-
tire family lifted out of poverty and
into aff1uence by the simple boon of a
broken leg. have had people come to
me on crutches, with tears in their eyes,
to bless this benefcent institution. In
all my experience of life 1 have seen
nothing so seraphic as the look that
comes into a freshly mutilated mans
face when he feels in his vest pocket
with his remaining hand and finds his
accident ticket all right. And I have
seen nothing so sad as the look that
came into another splintered customers
face when he found he couldn't collect
on a wooden leg. s-5-s----
I viii remark here, by way of an adj
vertisement, that that noble charity
which we have named the Hartford Ac-
cident Insurance company, is an institu-
ton which Is peculiarly to be depended
upon. A man is bound to prosper who
gives it his custom. No man can take
out policy IN it and not get crippled
before the year is out. Now there was
one INDECENT man who had been disap-
pointed so otter with other companies
that he had grown disheartened, his ap-
petite left him, he ceased to smile
said. life was but a WEAKNESS. Three
weeks ago I got him to insure with. us,
and now he is the brightest, happiest
spirit in this Iand-has good, steady
income, and q stylish suit of new ban
dages every day, and travels around on
a shutter. am informed by Charles
E. Wilson, foreman of our patent leg
and crutch faetory-however, for further
information on that head 1 Will refer
Won to our other advertisements. 1 will
say in conclusion that my share of the
welcome to our guest is none the less
hearty because / talk so much nonsense,
and I know that can say the same for
the rest of the speakers.