Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1874-06-05

THE PIoUs There are few
things more trying to an uprightsman, and
utterly confounding to worldly one than
reporting church convention. 1t takes
days and days of fasting and discipline to
to get the frame of mind for the work,
and after all he feels covered with uhwor-
| thiness as with mantle. Everything
must be viewed in a solemn light. I've
make up of the train which went from
Staunton to the Charlottesville Council
was gotten up for effect, being topped off
with half dozen coal cars, painfully sug-
gestive of the final end of the wicked, a
theological thought of Superintendent
Perry, who has doubtless been a clerical
student in his time. 1t was depressing on
the passengers, and if there is any merit
in frightening the wicked, and making the
good low-spirited, he will have his reward
| When the train stopped at Mediums riv-
Ell two ROSTERS were plugging away at
each other on the platform. II there is
any thing that will. arouse the last carnal
spark in man, it is cock fight. One of
| the ministers on board stretched his necY
out of the window as the train moved off /,
remarking, as he pulled his head in, . l
| thought I recognised Thompson's ne
| phew.' 1t was the first time we ever
knew that Thompson's nephew had red
comb and a speckled back. At the church
the solemnity was oppressive. AFfunerasl
would have relief. An old class naate in a
| white neck-tie, returned our cherry hello,
| Vom," with look. of compassionate re-
proach such as Lazarus might have regard
ed Dives with, if he had attempted any
gaiety after affairs took such dreadful
turn with him. Crowded, as it were, by
this solemnity, we got modest seat near
the pulpit, awed by the Ter Commands
ments, which frowned down in capital let
ters from the wall, and pulled out sinful
chew for comfort. Looking around among
! the lay delegates we saw one that in other
days would take glass Of champagne un-
der pressure. Here was luck, we would
catch his eye. We caught it it was near
ly equal to catching bucket Of ice-water
down the back Of your ne ok. We tried
hard to give him a brotherly wink. He
arose slowly, and coming around, took our
hand something after the way doctor
feels your pulse, and remarked, " hope
you will find these services spiritually re-
freshing" We told him that Charley
Plugfelder, that used to mix champagne
cocktails so nice, WAS dead. He didn't
seem to be at all affected; it almost look
ed like he didn't want to remember poor
Charley. 1t was useless to look for COM
pany among the men, so we scanned the
girls. But there is hardly any use, they
marry so young nowadays that you can't
tell whether they are married or single,
and then on the wall, in gilt letters. was
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Wife
enough to give a man cold chill. When
man chews tobacco he ought to be able
to hit spittoon every time, but the most
perfect Of earthly saints may miss it once
in while. We missed it. The gentleman
that might have been Heaven forgive
you," but was so much like something
stronger, that we thought we would do
without spittoon. We found out that
there are other things that can stir up the
carnal man besides cock fight.
The only thing that we saw that smack
ed of fun was the unloading OF the cars
on their return to Staunton. The ladies
for this town thought this mast be Staun-
ton" every time the train stopped after
leaving Charlottesville. At Fishersyille
couple Of nice looking ones fiuttered out
of the cars and futtered back in a hurry,
demanding to know if C anybody ever saW
such an engineer Never having seen
the engineer the male passengers didn't
venture an answer. When about q mile
from Staunton the train stopped, and a
sharp Il wonder what that engineer is
doing noao,'' foated in the air. Most ofus
thought that he might be putting coal i'll
the engine, but in the infiamed state of the
female mind, it was thought safest not to
give that as an explanation. Evidently
the only answer that would have met the
enquirer's views would have been that the
engineer was drunk, OF sitting on Il side
track playing draw poker.
HOTEL IMPROVEMENT enterpris-
ing proprietor Of the Virginia Hotel, Mr..
W. d. Crowle, has just completed remod-
cling aud renovating that fine building