The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1874-10-15
Getting a Photograph.

Your dear five hundred friends, collect
lively and individually, want your
shadow for their albums.
They assure you that they should
prize it beyond all else earthly! it will
he so enchanting to have it! They own to
you that lite's great end will not be at
tanned until it is received! They don't
care for the photographs of people in
general, but yours is altogether different!
1t will be such TN ornament to their al
buns!
Then you make derogatory remarks
on your personal appearance. You tell
them you never get a picture fit to he
seen! The expression is wrong and un-
natural. The eyes are too small, the
mouth too large, ETC., etc.
You are afraid of smashing the "ma-
chine" And you ought not to have
your picture attempted until everybody
else has secured all they want because
the artist will never be able to take an
other-and so on ad infnitum.
Then all your friends hasten to assure
you that you were never more mistaken
in your life! Your picture will come out
lovely and your eyes and hair are just
the color which looks we'll in photo
graph! You must have your hair flow
ing-you have such beautiful hair! and
your shoulders bare because they are 50
plump and white.
Thus flattered and assured, you pro.
coed to get yourself up for the photog-
rapher. You hardly know whether to
have full-length picture or vignette.
Feet and hands are 50 frightfully magni-
fed in a photographs; but, then, you
would so like for all those lovely puffs
and lace tlounces to show!
But dresses go out of style, so you
finally decide on vignette and resign
yourself to the hands of Mr.. Camera!
He looks you over with business air
and agrees with you that vignette will
be the most suitable to your style. He
says your shoulders are too high for a
full-length picture!
High shoulders, indeed! You feel as if
you would like to annihilate him, but he
is an artist" and privileged to make
remarks on his wretched subjects.
He steps off yard or two and surveys
points of horse he is going to trade for,
and you wonder if he sees the chalk on
your nose which you have put on to
cover up the freckles; and you are in
agony lest he should suspect that your
charms are enhanced by the least little
touch of rouge on either cheek.
You venture to ask him if the mole on
your chin will show?
He answers, with the air of the Great
Mogul, that if it does it will not make
the slightest differencel All one wants
of picture is that it shall be natural!
Natural! As if the wretch had not
been in the business long enough to
know that no one is ever satisfied with 4
photograph unless it " tlatters" the sub
Ject!
You seat yourself in the chair of tor
ture, which is generally cushioned with
green, and smells of hair oil. He goes
behind you and screws your head into
wise. First he tips it back at an angle of
about forty-five degrees; then he tips it
forward, then to one side, and then back
again to the first position; telling you, at
the same time, to "lower your Chin" as
if that feat could possibly be performed
with his hands pulling your head back!
The artist is commonly a very lank
man with sandy whiskers; and fingers,
with yellowish nails, which smell of
ether and alcohol. He is chewing carda-
mon seeds.
He gets you in position and then adj
vances to the front, and squints at you
through the glass. ana you grow pain
fully conscious that he sees you wrong
side up.
You quicker your mouth and say
bosom, and try your best to look brill
liant.
Don't stare your eyes SOL" says this
unfeeling operator.
You subside and let the lids fall down,
and then he cries out:
"Look alive, ma'am! That way Of
dropping the eyes makes you look like
corpser'
Then he goes behind you again, and
tips your head around to one side, and
gets the long curl you have carefully
placed in front back behind you. Then
he comes forward and takes another
long squint. You begin to feel the
perspiration start out on your forehead,
there is a lump in your throat, and you