The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-09-11
rAcrs AND PANcIEs.

L
Fish't, nc and bled.
Now most Of the inhabitants Is whites,
With nary red"
LEONARD w. JEROME, of New York,
has sold a promising daughter TO an
English nobleman--that is 10 say, he
has paid half million dollars 10 get
her into titled family. Mr.. Jerome
is probably a snob.
If any carriage upsets or iniures
another carriage in the streets OF ~.
Petersburg, or If any passenger is
knocked down, the horses OF the Offend
ing vehicle are seized and conhscated
to the use of the fire brigade.
AN Iowa paper reports the follow
ing as the form OF marriage in town
in that state "Join your right hands.
Do you want one another 2 They
both answer, eyes. "Well, then,
have one another. You're man and
wife,"
"A lady who had been teaching her
little four-year-old the elements OF
arithmetic was astounded at his running
in and D plopounding the following prob
lem: Mamma, II you had three but
terfies and each butterfly had bug in
its ear. how many butterflies would you
have ?"
Remember that appearances are
often deceiving. Many a pale, thin
young lady will eat more corned beef
| than n carpenter. Because you find
her PLAYING the piano in the parlor 1t is
| no sign that her mother is not at the
corner grocery running in debt for
peck of potatoes.
A we'll known brother Of the press
remarks, in "A recent issue: cit is not
our fault that we are red-headed
and small, and the next time one OF
those overgrown rural roosters in ball
room reaches down for our head, and
suggests that some one has lost rose
bud out Of his button hole, there will
be trouble"
"A Walker street ATLANTA, Ga.)
man has a goat for sale. While he wss
at dinner recently, the goat chewed mp
his new panama hat. box OF cigars,
and his wife's new bonnet, and several
fruit cans that were out airing, pre-
paratory for duty. The goat is an ex-
pensive luxury, and will be sold cheap
on long credit
"A writer in Les Mondes says that
he is enabled to materially reduce the
number of insects which prey upon the
flowers and fruits Of his garden, by
covering the inside of an old nb with
LIQUID tar and at twilight putting
lighted lantern within, leaving the
whole ont overnight. The bugs, at
tracted by the light, are caught and
held fast by the tar.
"A ten-year-old Socrates lately stat
ed the situation as follows, at a Detroit
police station ooh, it's the old folks
again, pounding and mRngling each 9TH
er, and smashing up the dishes. I've
talked to 'em aud reasoned with 'em,
but they keep right on. It's getting
dreary mp there, and / guess you'd bet
ter bring 'em both in and give EN-
three monthN each,
Grave city pastor 10 his fond wife
my dear, Mrs. Wilson must be ex-
q change of heart. She
looked so serious during my last ser
mon" Fond wife" Sho, you goose,
why couldn't you see that her new Sun
day hat has one artificial flower less
than Mrs. Browns, who sits in the next
pewP" The pastor collapses and takes
refuge in an armchair.
A brother OF the AshAntee King
Koffee named Aguasi Boachi, who was
taken from Coomassie by some Dutch
men az the age of nine, brought mp in
and afterward sent TO the
School OF Mines at Fresberg, is now
director of mines in the Dutch colony
of Batavia. He speaks three or four
European languages, is intelligent and
fond of study, and generally respected.
A commission appointed by the
French minister OF public works, hav-
Jog reported favorably upon the great
scheme for connecting England and
France by submarine tunnel, French
coal owners TO the north of France are
10 discuss the probable effect
Of the work upon their trade, and are
afraid that the tunnel would greatly in
crease the deliveries Of English coal up
on the northern French markets.
A hater OF tobacco asked an old ne
gro woman, the fumes Of whose pipe
were annoying 10 him, il she thought
she was a Christian. +" Yes, brudder,
I speot I is" "Do you believe in the
Bible ?" "Yes, brudder." "Do You
know that there is a passage in the
Scriptures that declares that nothing
nnclean shall inherit the kingdom OF
Heaven ?" eyes, I've heard Of IL.
i' Well, Chloe, you smoke, and you
,annot enter the kingdom OF Heaven,
because there is nothing 20 unclean as
he breath Of a smoker. What do you
,ay to that ?" "Why, j spects leave
ny breff behind when / go dar.'
Edward V. Valentine, the Rich
nond sculptor, has returned from YER
mont with n block of pure white mar
Die, from which he will fashion a re-
,umbent figure Of Gen. Robert Il. Lee,
o be placed on his tomb al Lexington.
The figure represents Gen. Lee repos-
NO in an easy position upon n couch,
lis head and shoulders slightly raised
lbove the body, and his left arm out
stretched by the side of his sword, and
lis right arm laid across his breast.
lie wears full confederate uniform, in
luding boots ard gaurtlets, and light
Irapery covers nearly the whole form.
The appearance is natural and graceful,
Indicative Of peaceful slumber rather
han death.
There is a deal OF truth in the fol.
owing bit. which we cut from an eX-
hange "To grow rich is not TO make
aore money, but TO spend less. II one
3 not accumulating money as fast as ho
kinks he ought, the remedy in nine
ases out of ten is not greater exertion
D make money, but greater care to
ave it. Indeed, he who saves money
putting away a part,
ven though Il be a small part, OF each
Ieek's or each days earnings, Is rich
lready. His means exceed his neces-
ties, and that is wealth always" III
eople generally would conduct their
fairs on the principle above incnlca-
ID therewould be comparatively little
usiness anxiety, and much greater
omfort and happiness in the house
old.