The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-06-06

aS6s.zzsaznata
sunAowcrs this year, but how much betterlor inc
nearest academy if he should plant hail an acre
, Of wdtcrmcOns?
An observing man has discovered similarity
between a Young ladies' seminary and sugar
lhouse. AS both refine what is already sweet
A Pittsburgh woman says that one thousand
reportcrs souls could dance upon the point OF a
needle. This question Of the size Of angels
souls was frequently discussed by the medieval
monks.
i Brooklyn sewing society fines any member
who talks scandal, $l00 for each offence; only
the wealthy are able to attend.
/ In the Arctic regions, it is said, sermon can
easily be heard at n distance Of two miles How
partial nature is, The Esquimaux can remain
at home in bed and hear their sermons, but in
this latitude one must take his snoozc in church
! Competent engineers affirm that If the Wash
| ington monument is completed according to its
present design and carried up GOO feet the shaft
will crush out its base and fall. Happily, at the
present rate of progress in building the monu'
ment it will be several thousand years yet before
the catastrophe can occur.
An Indian DOCTOR" calling himself Sc. w.
Panple" has vamooscd the Paxton ranch. He
is declared fraud by the papers there. lie us
about six feet two inches high, with very long
black hair which seems to be the pride OF ms
life and is possessed Of dark brown eyes and dark
moustache, 10 slim in body, but bulky in cussed-
mess. "-GibSon Courier.
The description is correct but the name differ
emit, of an animal that has been tourishing
around Ottawa OF late.
The ladies' OF Rankin recently had bee to
clean the church, and after they finished the job
pitched in and completed a sidewalk leading to
the church, which the men had begun last fall,
but were too shftlcss to finish.
A Brooklyn lady took off her hair the other
night and discovered several plantations of gre
garindn in it. She was about to faint away
when her companion told her they contained
nothing but psorasperms; whereupon shc heaved
a deep sigh of relief, declared she felt so glad,
and got better Immediately.
The Boston Post is opposed to the proposition
to Gil the position Of conductor on railroads with
Their trains are always bchind, says
the Post. Yes, and most women are so timid,
and none but the brave deserve the fare, you
know.
The Morris Herald record as a case Of youth
full pluck, that OF a boy who took two mile trip
through the underbrush to Macon creek to catch
fish. Arriving there he discovered that he had
lost his hooks. Back to town lie went, got more
hooks, returned, and commenced fishing. The
bottom was shaggy and soon all his hooks were
lost. Back to town again for hooks, and this
time, when he commenced fishing, he had gen
uine bite; but the fish got off and the hook fas-
tened in the boys upper lip. Back to town again,
and DR.. Hand extracted the hook when the boy
once more returned to his fishing, coming home
at sun down with half dozen pumpkin seed
and rock bass. The boy is born to be an Arkan.
sas Governor.
The pet Boston base ball company was recently
Laid out" by the famous Atlantics, upon which
one of the former rours out his grief in song
thusly:
Oh! vot ishlall dis earthly plissY
Oh! vot ish mans soccess!
And vot ish various oder dings?
And vot ish happiness!
We get us up pasc ball club,
Eggspccially to vim,
And den de Atlantics COON arount,
And punish 'em like sin!
That cminently numerous and respectable body
of religionists known as Dunkcrs or Dunkards
recently held convention at Girard, ILL.,, at which
some ten thousand are said to have been present.
The sect is noted for its rigid temperance and
piety, and what must be the horror OF its mem
hers to find their meeting telegraphed to the
East as a Convention of Drunkards!"