The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-06-12
WAITS FOR WOMEN,


Why is blush like little girl? Be
cause it becomes a woman.
Miss CoNsTRUCTIoN-Wh and
paint, powder and wadding.
FARMERS gather what they SOW, while
seamstresses sew what they gather.
Mrs. SANDS, of Cairo, is under arrest
for kicking a COW to death. Had rather
small feet, too.
ADMIRE your landlady's new jockey
hat and feather, II you want porter
house steak for breakfast.
The kalsomining days have come, the
toughest of the year, that makes a man
foreswear his home, and "walk off on
his ear"
A KANSAS girl wouldn't be married
without r yellow ribbon around her
waist, and boy rode eight miles to get
1t while the guests waited.
WELL, 'spose the burned stuff got
mixed, was the sad reply of Mis-
souri, druggist when he killed a woman
by giving arsenic for salts.
THE sum of $40, 900 has been voted by
the Mexican congress to provide for the
proper representation of Mexico at the
centennial exhibition at Philadelphia
SEVERAL fashionable young ladies of
New York have entered into a solemn
covenant with each other never to mar
nv man who caunot walk a mile in
nine minutes.
WHICH of the FIJI Islands are you
from ?" asked a visitor of one of Barn
um's cannibals, the other day. Clip
perary, bedad," was the reply of the
ravenous anthro-pophagiman.
ETHEL: "And o, mamma, do you
know, as we were coming along, we saw
a hOrrid, horrid woman, with a red,
striped shawl, drirl, something out of a
bottle, and then hanl it to some men.
I'm sure she was tipsy" Beatrice (who
always looks on the best side of things):
4" Perhaps it was only castor-oil, after
ALI"
with his hair parted in the centre,
and exactly over his scenterl 81 never
knew a dozen girls, you know, who could
talk sense with a fellow, you know"
with her hair frizzed and frizzled and
frOwsy and tumbled over her left eye)
I" Weally? Well, the fact is, all the
girls know suit their conversation to
the party with whom they are talking,
you know"
WIFE of his bosom directly he came
home at night Charley, I've Just
got letter from mother. You know
she was here only last week Eyes, you
can see by the expression of his face
that he hasn't forgotten that, and she
has lost all her property by the failure
of the Splurges--and-and now, l
s'pose, Charley, she'll have to come
and stay with us all the time"
" AMARYrLLs" asks the Brooklyn Ar
gus as to the origin of the expression,
" She stood by him through thick and
thin" The Argus is at a loss to en-
Tighten him unless the following, pro-
badly translated from one of the Scan
dInavian poets, will explain it:
"When first we loved, my locks were thick
As hair on otters skin;
lis just one year since we were one,
And now those locks are thin"
The presumption is that she " stood by
him" considerably during that period,
and wasn't particularly idle.
WHEN Burdette, of the Burlington
Hawkeye, attempts the severely calm
style of writing, he appears, as a rule,
to be successful. The following is an
instance in point: " Yesterday morn
ing boy sauntered up to a yard on
Eighth street, where a woman was
scratching the bosom of the earth with
rake, and leaning on the fence, said
Are you going around the back yard,
after awhilep The woman said she
didn't know maybe she would; why?
Because the boy said, Il Just saw the
cistern lid drop on the baby's head,
minute ago, and thought if you went
around you might lift it off. It is cur
rently reported that the woman went"
THE highest grade of marriage union
Is the religious, which may be expressed
as pilgrimage toward a common shrine.
This includes all the others home
sympathies and household wisdom. for
these pilgrims must know how to assist
each other along the dusty way; intel
lectual communion, for how sad it would
be on such n journey to have a com.
panIOn to whom You could not cOmmu-
nlcate your thoughts aud aspirations as
they spraDg to life; who would have no
feeling for the prospects that open,
more and more glorious as we advance
who would never see the flowers that
may be gathered by the most industri-
GUS traveller II must include all these.
Margaret FUllCr.
The Detroit Free Press saws, in an
sWer to a question as to who Mary
Stuart was "This heightened female
was the Queen of Sheba, also aunt of
Saul of Tarsus, likewise sister of Chris
toph r Columbus, similarly cousin of
Gally the TrOubadour on his mothers
side. She was at one time engaged in
the sheep business, and is the party al
luded to in HOmer's highly dramatic
epic poem, Mary had little lamb"
She traded her sheep off subsequently
for an interest in the Eureka silver
mine, and got muttoned' therein. Her
death was somewhat sudden. She went
out one morning to attend little exc
cutiOn that was advertised for that day,
and while n man was fOoling around
with an axe she met with an accident
which resulted fatally. The funeral
was n quiet one, and as she was not a
resident of Philadelphia she had no
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