The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1874-04-04
Wit, Hum0r and Wisdom.

Ihh NhtIltou, Iowa, Iaur1Ot gives a
touching account of a married woman
leaving that town with her para
mount.
A CLERGYMAN, who has bad habit of
adding "ah' to many of his works. told
last Sunday, of those who had been
brought up on the Lords side-ah.
The editor of a New York child s paper
recentlyreceived aletter from a subscrib-
er III which was written, "Our Annie died
last week, after reading the last number
of your valuable paper"
CAUTIoN.-Host-" Just another wee
drap fore you 60"
Guest Ma, ma, all tax nae mairr'
I'm i'll a new lodgin', and I'm no vera
weel acquainted wi the stair!r'
The RULING SPIRIT Cashier Ito Tip
pies, who has dropped off after present
ing a check)-" How lyou haveit. sir?''
Triples Hot, please, and a bit O.
lemon.
INDIGNATION Will find the breast of
every artist when we state that two men
were arrested in alumber yard the other
day, because they were suspected of a
deSig2 on rood.
SOME fellow, with no respect for the
dignity of butter, remarks of the lady
who models busts III thatarticle of food.
that her talents would have reflected
credit upon Greece.
\ KENTUCKY paper apologies for hav-
ing spoken of 9 the red headed malig-
nant mule who dispenses the COUNTY
money" by saying that it wrote, Big
hearted, valiant soul"
ONG is the name of an adult dwarf in
Iowa, whom Com. Mutt would tower over
one inch. ONG must be very short. but
it would only take an ell to make him
long.
A DANBUfY man. who received q letter
from Buffalo requesting him to go
thither Immediately to attend his
mother-in-law' funeral, declined, say
ing that he never attended celebrations
during Lent.
MIS-. MARROwFAT' Oldest son, John,
has taken to writing poetry for the
newspa pers-a vicious habit which she
attributes to the fact that he tumbled
down stairs, when a child, and sprained
his intellect.
\ VERY bad little boy in Dubuque
rubbed cayenne pepper all over the
back of his Jacket and then did shame
fully iii school The schoolma am
thrashed him briskly, but dismissed
school Immediately, to run to the drug
store for eye-salve.
The Taunton Gazette says A lady
entered one OF our stores yesterday,
no .l,X Il
mourning. asked who WAS dead. "Why,
Mr. Sumner, said tie polite attendant
"Oh, " responded the obtuse interroga-
tor, ''was he a clerk here ?'
The London Hornet gives the follow
ing as one of the effects Of the late royal
marriage: Rookseller-''.W VIII you have
these volumes bound in Russia or Mo
rocco, sir?" Retired coal-dealer-
"Well, if | can't have them bound in
London, send EN- to Russia. We must
encourage that Gar now, you know"
A BosToS minister being invited to
officiate at fashionable christening
last week, was promptly on hand, but
found that the steamer hadn't got in
from Europe yet with the baby's lace
dress, and consequently the ceremony
couldn't go on. Another clergymen Will
have to be engaged when it does.
BOB LoNGLEY with modest fervor)-
90, Jack O for woman's love O for
true-hearted woman once, once i'll
ones life, to throw her arms round ones
neck, and tell one she loves oner'
Little Jack Horncr-"Ah! If
you'd had as much of that kind of thing
as [ have had, old man, you'd be pre-
cious tired of the whole concern !"
AGoNIzlHG Damon" Hullo, Pythi-
rs What's the matter q
Pythias-'' my dear fellow, I've
--tut-t-t-t-" (Obiurgations)- CIV
been writing to my tailor to give me
another inch and half to the waist
band, and composed valentine to my
adofed Clara, and-O I've put them
into wrong envelopeS-and they re post
ed p Breaks down !
"NIR. SMITH, you said you once offici-
ated in the pulpit. Did you mean by
that that YOU preached?' Ono, sir |
held the light for the man who did
prencli. "Ah, the court understood
you differently. They supposed that
the discourse came directly from you. 5"
"No. sir ] merely threw little light
on it,"
II is related of Rufus ChOate that,
however deeply he appeared to be abb
sorbed in his legal arguments, he knew
everything that was going on III the
Court room. During one plea a woman
in distant part of the Court room rose
and went out. with some rustling of silk
Being asked afterward if he noticed it,
Noticed it! I" he said, 4 thought forty
battalions were moving.
Il THOUGHT You were born on the
first of April said a husband to his
wife. who had mentioned the twenty
first as her birth day. THAT'S just
what all my friends think" said the
wife. "Whv are they all SO unanimous
on that point?' "On account of my
choice of a husband, was the quiet re-
ply. The subject was pursued no fur
Their. Boston JOWnGl.
Two little girls, cousins, not a hum
dred miles from Providence, went to
bed. the other night, in high glee over
some secret. After they were asleep,
the mother of the younger, going into
their room. had her attention drawn to
two slips of paper, pinned to the wall,
one over each little head. They proved
to be rude attempts at Examinations in
colored cravons, and ran thus: go dear
Jesus Christ, send mamma baby may
It not be twins, Amen. '-PrOUideT
Journal.