The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-09-30


Oh say, art thou living, a -.
Sweet spirit, with me. 81
SCRAPS. &
The less men think, the more Trey
talk. Va ;ss y D
A highly intellectual dog The
type-setter.
A man who has no mind viii not
change it. S ass' sss'
Job boiled over when his patience
gave way. sss;sss
Horse thieves in Texas are serenas
ded by string bands. & Z.
A Polite way of putting it: .Tronb-
led with chronic indisposition TO +
cxertion.
Eight Connecticut young ladies'
have taken the veil. They were I
hopelessly freckled. 8
When a Maryland doctor spells lt,
"accufortus" is it any wonder that "a
patient dies on his hands2 ~
A small boy forgot and asked his 4
father for q "chaw nv tubaccer, y, the s
other day, and is now very reticents
on the subject.
Brooklyn is a pious place. Even
the saloon keepers quote scripture.
One Of them has for a sign st Why
halt ye between two opinions"
A negro insisted that his race. was
mentioned in the Bible. He said he
heard the preacher read about sNig
ger Domus wanting TO bo born agsln.p
An actress in California, Miss
Kinlin, lately married professional !
named Wood, and her stage name;s
now hyphenated into Nine. Kiniins irl
Wood.
"Is the candidate for sheriff here ?p,s Z
asked stranger as he looked into an
illinois bar.room. eyes, why 2" an
swered eighteen men, as they rose
An Omaha paper advises the people.
anot to make such a fuss about the
shooting of one constable, as there
are over forty candidates for the
Office
Two Rochester men rowed boat:
around in circle for three hours,
under the impression that they were
going down the bay, and yet Roches-s
ter is a temperance town.
Nowis the time when the irrespon-
sible urchin glueth the house fy's
wings together and walketh him
against time around the nose Of his.
sleeping grandfather.
An Alabama paper states that the
hogs in Walker county, in THAI State,
are dying of disease Of the brain.
They ought to keep their hogs from
studying so hard tkcn.
Indiana threshing machines are
lashing off legs and arms with
promptness and dispatch, and occa-
sionalIy leaving a handsome widow.
for posterity to take to candy pulls
next winter.
It is not an uncommon observations !:
that man who'is continually talking
about his "ccaseless yearnings after
Righteousness" can't get trusted at q
grocery store as quick as man who
swears.
Last year he was worth 100000.
Then he began to drink whiskcy and
seltzer, and now he's pauper.
Where these ravagcs of seltzer are
going to cease the most prescient of
us cannot tell.
The Detroit Free Press man has.
just returned from Saratoga He
says: "The Saratoga bellies merely
taste food at the table, but fee the
walters to bring square meal up the
back stairs"
There is parrot on State street
that cries "Stop thief!" 1t takes four
policemen to keep the sidewalk clear,
as every native feels he has a personal
invitation to tarry.
i. II. Weston, the funny man of.
tho Lancaster Republican, submits
pronunciation Of "Erastus Richard
sop" as being test whether man is
drunk or not. "Rassus Risson" he
says won't do.
It's awful lonesome in Mexico just
now, and tears tricklc down the fsth-
er's cheeks rs he takes his son on his
knee, and tells him how the country
used to be blessed with a revolution
about every two weeks.
When wel-known Omaha thief
meets q policeman and hands him
five dollars, it is the duty of the
officer to go and sit down in an alley
and see nothing for the next hour.
nothing but thcsfvc dollars.