The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1874-02-13
A FUNNY EL,oPEMENT.

r"Ill tell you-what it is, wife, said
Peter Smith, and he emphasized the re-
mark by a wise shake of the forefnger,
''things have got into a very bad way.
The farm is mortgaged to the very last
cent it is worth, and I owe a heap of
money besides-more by a long shot
than Iknow how to pay. What is to be
done?" A# 80 .
ST am sure I don't know, Peter, :"
said the bothered wife, 'but it seems
too awful bad to be turned out of house
and home at our time of life. Now, if
cur son John would only marry Jonas
Browns daughter Sally, It would help
us out amazingly. The Browns, you
see, are well off, and the connection
would be perfect gold mine to us. OF
course they would give Sally the hun
dred acres of land and things they've
always said they would"
That's good idea, wife, and Peter
frightened up amazingly. "You always
were cute woman, and the notion does
you credit. But doyou think the young
folks would take to it ?''
81 don't know, but it seems to me
that they've always taken great notion
to each other ever since they were
cbildren-been more like brothers and
sisters than anything else" @
But suppose the Browns would OBJ
iect, as most likely they would You
know we amt on good terms-thick as
the young folks have been"
"Tll tell you what, Peter, is Just the
thing forus to do-put up John to elope
with Sally" 90 $4@ t@a
agreed. I'll leave it all for you to
manage"
Thus the matter was settled, and the
scheming couple went to bed to dream
of speedy release from their financial
embarrasments.
Condolences are sometimes of the
most curious character-alm"s surpass-
ing belief in some instances.
About the time of the Above CONVEX
sation between Mr.. and Mrs. Smith,
their neighbors, Jonas Brown and wife,
held an important conference
"Do you remember that note for six
hundred dollars gave for stock last
spring?" asked Jonas.
" Yes" +" replied his wife.
Well, its coming due in about a
month. and how under the sun we are
going to pay it don't know"
Mortgage the farm"
"We've done that till it can't be
mortgaged another cent. Tn clean dis
courae ed, and there is Sally wanting
piano. Where the money is to come
from is a mystery to me. We're on the
verge of bankruptcy"
CT wish Sally would marry John
Smith-gracious knows they're together
enough to take notion that way"
Yes, but i don't see how that would
help us any. +"
r'f You don't, Ell? We'll, I do. Amt
his folks rich? and wouldn't they set
him up handsomely? Then we could
stand some chance of getting help
through Sally. --.--.
"That's good plan," was Jonas
conclusion, after profound meditation !;
but the difficulty is, that the Smiths
are not on good terms with us, and
would be likely to oppose the match"
''Then the best plan is to set the
young folks up to an elopement.
So II chanced that the Browns and
the Smiths planned to dispose of their
children to their own pecunjary advant-
age. The next step in each case was to
mould the young ones to the proper
shape. sae
John Smith was a handsome, brawny
country fellow, with plenty of good
sense, and an ocean of love for Sally
Brown. When his parents proposed his
marrying her, he informed them that he
would gladly do so, but he feared her
parents would object. Then his fstheT