The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1874-04-14
Sepse and enopsense.

"He handledsa gun carclessly and put
his angel plumase on Western Pa
per. AM ,a+ zi - a -sae.,,
A Titusville paper advises. ,'the boys
to save their pennies as there is no tell
ing when circus may be along"
Don't take off your flannel yet. The
rheumatism goelIi about seeking whom
It may flud With his flannel off. boa
1t costs vauag blools in the South
two bales of cpttonto goito,a ball and
make sensation. :
The thasestaapgs most dilIleplt are to
keep secret, 10 forget an injury and
make good use of leisure.
In Naples a barber will shave, cut
hair, comb, brush, black boots, and give
you cigar and call it square for ten
cents. greafr saT
Society will cut you dead if your Wis.
iting card isn't four inches long by two
inches wide, and of heavy Bristol board
slightly tinted or watered.
The Washington Star says that on
account Of want of practice it takes a
veteran Congressman very long to apply
a postage stamp. 59ma o-
An Indianapolis father shot six times
at supposed burglar, and was aston.
ished to hear the fellow ask, "Whazzer
mazzer, fazzer? whazzer doing p ihc
Napkins, sir napkins!" roared o
Green Bay landlord mo, sir, we havn't
got any; but if you want to wipe your
nose I'll lend you my handkerchief
"If man bequeathed you a hundred
pounds, would you pray for him ?" said
a Sunday school teacher to pupil
"No," said he; 81 would pray for an
other like him."
A dear. good old lady out West los,
her muff and jumped from the cars af
ter it. But when they backed up after
her the local reporter pathetically re
marks. deaths clammy fingers had
clutched her throat"
A colored boy twelve years old was
arrested in New Haven for stealing dia
monds. 81 won't talk afore l see 9
lawyer" he said to the poliea captain
"but I'm willin' to gib five dollars tc
square de JOB wild you"
In one of George Sands stories, she
makes man say: "In one short hou'
suffered death thousand times over
But what was that to shaving young
mans paper collar burst on him at al
evening party?
A gentleman having a deaf servant
was advised by friend to discharge
her. NO." replied that gentleman
with much good feeling, "the poor crea
ture would never hear of another sitaa
ton"
The latest historical cow is an Icdi
ana "crummie," who died from the eff
fects Of chewing tobacco. She chew
not the cud, but "Century," and expired
because she did not find the ten cen
piece 50 prominently advertised by tn,
company. ff
professor" said student in pur
suit of knowledge concerning animals
"why does cat, while eating, turn he
head first one way and then another 2
"For the reason" replied the professor
"that she cannot turn it both ways a
once"
Another heiress! Ninety-nine year.
ago the father of Dr. Mark, who is tn,
father of young miliner now in ST
Joseph, Missouri, leased eighty acres'o
land in New York City for ninety-nin,
years. The lease has expired, DIR. Marl
is dead, and the miIliner is the only liv
ing heir, The property is worth S17,
GOO. 600 r s.5. ....t..
This is the way Kentucky candidate
for Office greets voter: 'Howdy, how
dy, howdy ~ "Howdy?' Glow dc
you do ?" "Tollable." How are YOU ?
"Tollable." "How's all 2''f s'Tollable
"Your folks well-?" Tollable" "How'
yourn2 ?" "Neighbors all well2" '.Tol
liable" "How's yourn ?'si 'Tollable
"All for me this time?" "Sorter tolla
| ble." s'e R. sr
A fine distinction was that the preach
er of the Richmond First Baptist Churcl
made: s.My brudders," said he. "whel
you were all slaves dar might ha' beel
sense for cuttin' slice off other iaarsr'
bacon, or hookfa' a handful o.. corr
meal, or robbin' de hen roost, for yo,
all work hard den, my brudders. an,
you earn it, my brudders and sisters
But now you is all free men dar amt n,
scuse whatever; vous all on yer. owl
'sponsibility." 80 e. u.a
There are over fourteen and hal
millions of children of the school ag
ir this country We spend annually 70
schools over S95, 600. .000, which is coma
to onet third of one per cent of til
property, real and personal, of TIL
whole country, as returned bv the las
census, and We employ 221, 900 teach
ers. The National governments has. al
readv set aside for educational purpose
100000, 900 acres of the public lands
The Portland iMaine) Press say
that five years ago a gentleman in tha
city scratched his name on q nickel cen
and sent it on its travels Eighteen
months after this cent came into th'
possession of = Lowell acquaintance
who marked his name upon it. 1--WE
years later it turned up in Pennsylvania
and came into the hands of forme
chum of the PUrtlsnderF Recognizin!
the namc, he inscribed lis also on To-
coin. One day this week the man wh'
started the cent on its travels was ma
king purchase in Lowell store, wliel
the identical nickel which left his pock
ct five years ago was handed to him il
change h,7
Suppose man and girl were married
and, which is, Of course, impossible
that at the same time of the hymenes
contract the man was SIS years old ar,
the girl 5, which makes the man seve
times as old as the girl They lived tu
aether till the gill was 10; this make
him 40 years old, aud four times as Oh
as the girl. And they live until she i
Is, the man being 45; this makes tb
man three times as old They still live
she is 80 years old; This makes the ma
60, only twice as old. And now, as W
havn't time to work it ont, perhar
somebody will be good enough TO te