The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-03-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

Iowa contains 7 900 square miles of coal
fields.
A gentleman in KeOkuk, Iowa. lost a
81 900 honse last week by emptying ashes
IN a barrel and colored ditto, lost his
mansion in Florida by burning the high
grass III der it.
King KUffee Of Comassee keeps his 8 333
wives under the same roof with his maya
zine for military munitions. They do Just
as he says.
California and PENNSYLVANIA have agreed
to pay their legislators 81 900 per session.
Do they earn Il We are lOUking anxious
ly for the time when the people will abol-
ish this custom, as they meet now only to
undo what a previous legislature did.
AL English lady ID going to expend $780,
600 ON an aqueduct to supply Jerusalem
with water. She must be modern cru
sader.
Fifty dressed beeves leave West Las
Animas, Col, POS miles from Denver, dai-
y for Chicago, and yet beef is not a cent
cheaper.
notwithstanding Chicago il the greatest
grain and -four market III the world, yet
we can't see larger nor heavier loaf Of
bread for the same amount Of money than
In other cities.
Are you a burglar, sir ; ]; So, do not
come IN, as | am all alone. said girl u a
man the other day, who called to sell rat
traps or maps.
Host" Just another wee drap fore you
60" Guest-'' Ma, La, a II TAX nae mar!
I'm in a new lodgin', and I'm no vera weel
acquaint vi the stair N
There is nothing 50 tends to shorten the
lives Of old people, and tO mjure their
health, as the practice Of sitting up late,
especially winter evenings This u the
case, particularly, when there Is grown
up daughter ID the family This Il pub
llshed by request OF several young men
who are somewhat Interested
Natures noblemen never descend to a
mean action, aud rarely eat with fork.
For an occular demonstration visit the free
lunch saloons.
Courting receives a fresh impetus from
the advent Of maple sugar. Twenty five
cents worth Of maple sugar will q further
than two dollars worth VI candy.
A young man who left an eastern city
three years ago to "go West ana grow
up has Just been heard from. lie whites
home to ms friends from Idaho, saying
that that country is the most beautiful the
sun ever shone On, and the inhabitants the
most sUclable he ever met. Also, that he
expects to De hanged IN about four days
for stealing = mule.
The convocation of Canterbury IN Eng
land declares that liquor prohibition is a
success IN l, ATS parishes whore II Il en-
forced by the land owners. So it might
be here if every real estate owner were u
mexorably carry out the rule that Lo man
should be his tenant Who should sell intux-
icating hquoIs.
Ii appears that "a tinksr's dam il not
profanity, but simply All enclosure made
commonly of bread, around the hole III be
mended, that the melted solder may be
maintained till II coUls ut around the
metal. After being subjected to this pro-
cess the bread L. burned and spoiled. and
is hitting type Of utter worthlessness.
Among Mr.. Sumner' especially valued
treasures are the Bible used by Dun aa
he wrote his immortal PIlgIlms Prog
ress, IN which Is the autograph OF Buuyan,
while the margin Is full VI notes, also iii
hls handwriting, and the manuscript poem
Of Burns M Scots, Wha hae wi Wallace
bled. This was gwen to MIR Sumner by
noted Engishman, to whom It was pre-
sented by Burns. The manuscript IL re-
markably neat and PLAIN, and IS preserved
between stiff covers neatly bound
Maryland has come to the conclusion
that she needs an infusion Of new blood,
and that Scutchmen would be about the
thing III the line IL Immigrants Accord
Ingly bill has been introduced 10 encuur-
aye migration from Scotland, which pro-
vldes that the Commons ealth pay 90 Der
cent. Of the passage money, anu the person
who may secure ms services Al per cent.
In return, the immigrant il expected to
sign contract to remain three years In
tie State, and ~ give hIs note payable la
twelve months, for passage money
M sail tell you how II vas, said a
Dutch temperance lecturer, Even drunk
mine lager / put mine hand on mlne
het and dere vas one BAN den | pat mime
hand On my pody and dere va anUder
BAN den | puts my hant on my booklet,
and deere noting. 80 1 jine MID de dem
perance crusaters Now dere Ish uo balm
IN my het, and der pain I'D my pody vas
all gone away. | put mine hand On nine
booklet, and dere Vas dwenty dollar. 80 /
stay mid de temperance beeplgs " long az
can