River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1874-12-11
That Emerson hoy.

mat Emerson boy rs dead, and there
ISN'T any one around that house now to
make fun. lie was cheerful, lively
boy, and he did his best to make the
household put on the mantle Of Joyful
ness. Emerson often remarked that
Bob didn't seem ever to sit down and
think Of the grave and death, and he
probably never did.
No, Bob wasn't of that make. lie
wanted to have fun, and if the coroner
should have his body exhumed to-day,
| have no doubt that certain portions
Of it would be found calloused where
the press.board used to fall. Both his
cars were nearly worn Off by being
cufied so much, and it took whole row
OF current bushes to furnish whips to
dust his Jacket for one summer,
Emerson didn't know what fun was
until Bob was eight years old. Then
the boy began to launch out. lie
would bore gimlet holes in the bottom
of the water pail, put cartridges in the
coal stove, unscrew the door knobs, FIJI
the kerosene lamp with water, and a
coed thmShing didn't burden his mind
over five minutes. Sometimes his ia
ther would take him by the hair and
yank him up to the sofa, and sit down
and ask:
"Robert Parathon Emerson. what in
blazes ails We
ITS the yaller janders, guess,
Bob would meekly reply.
Robert, don't YOU want TO be an an
gel E. the old man would continue.
And have wings ~
YES, my SON"
And fly higher'n kite -
"Yes.
"And fight hawks I"
"Y-e.S, guess so.
"Bct your beef | would -whoop
Bully for the angels y
THAT sacrilege, that IS !" the old
man would remark, and he would jerk
Bob's hair some more and declare that
the young rascal was bound for the gall
lows. After lying under the pear tree
for six minutes. Bob would recover
from his sadness and 90 over TO the
barn and run the pitchferk through
the straw-cutter, harness up the COW,
and stick pins into the family horse.
One night he brought home a wolf,
trap and set it in the middle of the
woOdshed to catch rat. lie chuckled
a good deal that evening at the thought
Of what would happen to the rats, and
he fell asleep and dreamed that he was
hand organ, and that some one stole
tie crank to him so that he couldn't be
played on. just before going to bed
OLD Emerson went out after a scuttle Of
coal, and he stepped his bootless foot
into that trap. lie made mighty
spring and uttered a mighty yell, and
it took two men ten minutes to spring
the trap off his leg.
Its that boys work" he groaned,
as he nursed his foot, and he took up
the boot.jack, limped into the bedroom
and gave Bob an awful clip, just as the
boy was dreaming Of playing base ball
with a mermaid.
all pound we to death if We don't
stop this fooling J. cried the old man,
but he hadn't been out Of the bedroom
ten minutes before Bob was planning TO
stop up the chimney next day and
smoke everybody out Of the house. 1t
wasn't many days before he fixed a
darning needle in the cushion Of his
fathers arm chair and bounced the old
man three feet high and his licking
hadn't got over smartirg before he ex.
ploded fire cracker in his mothers
snuff box. That night the old man
said to him as he took him by the ear !:
Robert ParathoI Emerson, do you
ever think Of where you will 60 to :
"Yes, sir" he answered, "l'll 60 to
bee, purity soon
Then he got another mauling and
went to bed to dream that he was a
three.tncd pitchfork and that man
was using him to load hay with.
Poor boy! Even three days before
he died, and while on his dying bed, he
managed TO slip an eight ounce tack in
to his fathers left boot and got up an
other circus II he's in Heaven now
truly believe that he'll put up some
sort Of job on the first angel who
comes around him.
Sch what the Boston Clothing House
saws IN reference to buying clothing.