The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-01-23

"Man and wife are one." Which
onep tns aa
Filtration is attention without iHten-
ton.
Borrowing dulls the edge Of hus-
bandry.
Trousers obtained on credit are
breeches Of trust.
What no one can find out. A good
husband at II p. m.
Widows weeds are not green; neith-
erare widows, as a rule. i.g
Iftwice eleven aretwenty-two, how
can twice ten be twenty too?
Why is caterpillar like hot cakesS
It's the grub that makes the butter
hyl
Why is a rooster on fence like
nickel2 Head on one side, tail on the
other
As the season Of parties and balls
approaches, boys begin to feel gallant
and girls buoy-ant.
The best way to improve woman's
lot is to build house on it and put
good man in the house.
Many good kiss has been nipped
in the bud by six.year-old nuisance
bringing light into aroom.
When your pocket-book gets
empty, and every ybody knows ii, You
can put all your friends in it, and it
won't "bulge out worth cent"
We hear much about labor reform;
but their is q greater need Of reform
ing those fellows who don'tlabor.
The earliest reference to thegameof
euchre is when the Levite "passed"
and the good Samaritan assisted"
"Sam, why don't you talk to your
master, and tell him to lay up treas
ures in heaven2" "Wha's dc use Of
layin' up treasure dar2 He never see
um aginP'
"Marry q widowerl Not Ip' said
Matilda. 'tBabies are like tooth
Enthusiastically wants their own.
Furthermore, who wants q warmed
over manY
The man who imagined himself wise
because he detected sometypographi-
cal errors in newspaper, has gone
Eastward TO get perpendicular view
Of the rainbow.
Ii was one Of the numerous Beech
er family who used to pray: "Oh,
Lordl keep us from despising our
rulers, and keep them from acting SO
that we can't help IT,"
I clasped her tiny hand in mine;
I vowed to shield her from the wind,
and from the worlds cold storms.
She set her beauteous eyes on me,
and with her little lips said she,
"An umbrella will do as we'll,
Simpkins, having welded aud set
tied, accumulated slight scar over
his eyebrow; the cause Of which il is
unnecessary to state, but an inquisi-
tive acquaintance aasked him whether
it was the mark Of the chicken-pox.
"Worse than that, replied Simpkins.
"Its mark Of the henpeck."
A married lady, who has many
admirers was in company recently
where the marriage tie was the sub
ject Of conversation, and pleasant
sparring arose between her husband,
also present, and herself. "Ah,"
she exclaimed, 1T longth, "you do not
think so highly Of the hymeneal knot
as / dol" eyes, | do,' he replied, ,
"and it is only when you wish to \
make it q double beat knot that l
object to it"
The Monlou Gowa) Mdepeadem
says the woman whorefused the offered
hand Of James Buchanan, late Prosi-
dent of the United States, and there
by caused him to live a bachelor to
the end Of his days, is a resident OF
that village, the wife Of good hus-
band, and the mother Of grown-up
family Of children. She lives in a8
story and halfhousc, belongs to tho
church, occupies d good
social position, is contented and happy,
and not a bit sorry that she did not
accept young Buchanan's offer.
DR.. Abernethy rarely met his
but on one occasion he fairly
owned he had. He was sent for by
IN innkeeper who Ind quarreled
with his wife, who had SCARED his
face with her nails, SO that the pocn
man was bleeding md much disGgur-
cd. Abernethy thought this an op-
portunity not to be lost for admop
ishing the offender, and aaids
Madam. are you not ashamed Of
yourself to treat yourhusband thus--a
the husband who is the head Of all--
your head, madam, in fact" "Well,
doctor may | not scratch my own