, 1874-08-23

| Eh1A LIE SUNDAY-SCEOOI, ETC
This il the minlsterD' leap-year. August, theil
vacat1on-mouth, has five Sundays.
4 man advertise. in New York paper for .
ba1keeper, "who must DO recommended BY his
! PASTOR"
| It takes: practice to mako perfect. Mr. Long,
OF Tuscumbla, Ala, had to practice eight year.
before he could throw Bbe across the house
and knock young Long down.
'Do you know our good PASTORS chief end
and aim :" asked a New York Sunday-school
teacher OF her fayorite pupil "Ycs," replied
the sasacious child, .sto get his sermons printed
| in the Herald"
In . Nevada snnday-school the lady teacher
propounded this conundrum to her class: 'Who
betrayed our Savior =" This was too much for
the little ones. and one after another gave it up.
Tho question was repeated, when one lttle =
year-old answered "0h know 1t was Boss
Tweed he's bad man."
4 clergyman having indulgcd himself too
freely 10 filing up his glass, went one Sunday
into the pulpit, and having given ont hymn to
his congregation, sat down; tho melody of the
sacred song soon lullod him to sleep, and he con-
tinued for some time to play 3 t1cble-bass SYM
phony with his nose; at length one Of tho
Deacons rs ccnded to the sacred deak. and told
him the hymn was out. "Woll." says lie, fill
it up-fll it up again."
4 Providence urchin applied at the Central
Station the other day for ticket 10 the poor
chlldroa's excursion OF the Christian Association
He was asked If lie was Christian. and promptly
said he WAS. " Are You III honest bog ?" ii Yes,
sir!" The phrcuoloyist of the force lifted the
lads hat to examine his bump OF conscientious
ness, when out fell ticket for the excursion.
Alta meeting in London, to receive report
from the missionaries sent to discover the tribes
of Israel, Lord H was asked to take the
chair. 81 I taSe,' ho replied, "a great interest
in rour researches. gentlemen. The fact is, I
have borrowed money from all the Jews now
known, and If you can find new get I snail feel
very much obliged"
Dr.. Neale, of Boston, tells this anecdoto OF
Dr.. Still1nan his distinguished predecessor of
revolutionary times Que Sunday morning Ae
preached. III be thought, poor Sermon. Il 's
very likely that it was SO, for ministers some
ways Of meeting the humiliation. Some put on
bold face and pretend to care nothing about it,
come look disulfled. as if they bad said some
thing soiemn and deep. othels comfort them
selves with the thought that they will do bettcz
next time but Dr. stillman was 20 mortified !
with bis failu,e that he could not ent lis dinner
and was sick III bed. Jcph.hah," be family |
said, II shall not DO able to preach this |
afternoon. You must SEQ the Deacons
aad a, d ask as the. them te set some other min
Kirkland, o. SIr Ecsly." Jcphthal,, who Under
stood the case perfectly, aaid, very respectfully,
's uo would go. DR.. Stinan ought to have
rest. dear man, but feel bad for the Eeop1c |
they will be disappointed, but folks is queer:
They doesn't want to hear anybody else. hearn
Mrs. Smith aay this morning what a beautiful |
sermon the Doctor preached But III tell the
Deacons slassa stlllman il wearin' hisseIf out"
- You needn't co. said the Doctor, Frightening
up. ~ feel better. Brush my boots, Jcphthah,
and I'll try to preach myself" Ho went into
pu)pit, and nerer preached more powerfully and
eloqucntly thaa he did that afternoon.
The last specimen OF Scotch metaphysics has
been reported Oh tho Sabbath question. Ono
sunday morning party of Paisley weayers.
whose wives were ~ down the wafer " for sea-
son. were anxious to get across from GourocE to
Ounoon. Dceming it a profanation. however. to
engage an cared boat for the purpose they en-
he Rothaay steamer - to cast ous bit o. his
ou acd take them vi him, az ho was gaun that
ray at oay rate" " But what's the moral differ
nee, pray" asked tho ne9otiator, !" between be-
1lg rowed over with oars aad toFed by steam-
Il :" difference! ! Theresa hantie difference
'etween rowing by the power O man. wha maum
nswer for what he does. and twa water-vhceIs
ou'ng us +; in ,ther worde. eiu re wad lac us to
% nair particular, steam englpc's no moral
cling, its no an accountable agent"
TIE Winstead Herald saya: 1.-THE conduct Of u
eEtain Deacon during his viait to our town last
eek, which has already called forth much re-
3ark. which will apiear in q less unfarur-
bic Light when VIC state some e1tenuating cir
,lmstnnccs. He called simply for eoda-uater,
nd had not the slightest suspicion that he was
rinling anything else But it seems that Ger
~ fran e11s$rr +, |