The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-10-14
A Discouraged Boy.

A Discouraged Boy.
This boy was a good boz. He
would have been an angel to-day but
for the deceit of this false-hearted
world. He wasn't one OF set of
triplets, and therefore didn't have
honors showered down upon him in
his early days, but old women said
there was foundation there for an
orator, a great general or philoso-
pher, and old woman examined his
head and said it was level Nothing
particular happened to Christopher
Columbus until the eighth year of
his reign. His childhood days were
full of mud pies, the butt-end of
shingles, paregoric, castor oil, and
old straw hats with the front brim
worn off. He was a deep thinker
and a close observer for small boy,
and be was just innocent enough to
believe things which other boys
pitched out of the windows without
second thought.
When Christopher was going on
nine years old be heard some one say
that "a penny saved was worth two
pence earned" He therefore laid a
big Bungtown away in a crack un-
der the mob-board, and every day he
looked to see it grow to two cents.
He had confidence and patience, but
at length both gave way Then
he got the cent out one day. and
Mrs. Norton's baby swallowed it,
and that was the last of that Bung-
town. The youthful Christopher
din't believe in maxims quite as much
as before, bat he didn't cut his eye
teeth yet.
When this boy was year older he
heard it said that truth is mighty
and must prevail" and that a boy
that always spoke the truth would
make great and good man. He
commenced TO tell the truth. One
day he got his fathers best razor out
and hacked it on stone, and when
the old gent came home and asked
who in blazes had done that, Chris
topher Columbus spoke up and
said:
at was /, father-I notched your
razor.n
"You did, eh?" sneered the old man
as be looked up into the peach tree;
'wclI, I'll fix you SO you won't never
notch another razor for me!f
And be cut budding limb and be
dressed that boy down until the boy
saw stars. That night Christopher
Columbus determined never to tell
the truth again unless by accident,
and all through life he stuck to the
resolution.
When the lad was about twelve
years old he read in a little book
that "honesty was the best of policy" :"
He didn't more than half believe it,
but thought he'd try. He went to
being honest. One day his mother
sent him to the grocery to buy eggs,
and Bill Jones induced him to squan-
der the change for soda wafer.
When be got home mis- mother asked
him for the little balance, and Chris
topher explained.
"Spent it for soda, eh?" she replied
Here your poor old mother is work
ing like slave, and you are around
swilling down soda-waterl | don't
think you'll swill any more, | DON'T
come over nv right knee"
And she agitated him in the liveli-
est manner.
That night as he turned on his
downy straw bed the boy made up
his mind that honesty didn'tpay, and
he resolved to cheat the whole world
if be could.
When Christopher was half year
older he came across the injunction:
"Be kind to the poor" He did not
know whether it would pay or not,
but be set about it. He knew a poor
woman who sadly needed a spring
bonnet, and be took over bis mothers,
along with few other things, includ-
ing his fathers second pair of boots,
his own Sunday shoes, and so on.
He went around feeling very big
hearted until the old gent wanted to
90 to the lodge one night, and
then IL came out.
"Gin away my boots, eh?" inquir-
ed the father: 'lugged your mothers
best bonnet of, eh? Well, | don't
think you'll remember the poor very
much after tonight"
And be pounded CHRISTOPHER Co
lumbus with u pump-bandle until the
boy tainted away, and even then he
didn't feel as if he had made
thorough job of it.
? They fooled this boy once more.
He heard rich man say that every
body should make hay while the
sun shone." So when there came
sunny day be went out, took bis
fathers scythe down from the plum
tree and went to making hay.
He broke the scythe, cut down the
turnips and hacked bis sister IN the
heel, and his mother came out ana
led him around by the barr ana
bounced him until be almost went IN
to a decline. They couldn't BAN
boozle that boy after that lie grew
wicked every day Of bis life, and be,
fore the eighteenth birthday arrived
he was hung for murder. He said
he didn't care huekleberry about it,
and died without making the usual
Fourth Of July oration.
0uarrel