davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

-\< - <-------
In SEARCH OF A RETAIL STORE. green
appearing genius, on his first visit to Boston,
observed sign over a store thus: whole
sale and Retail Store" He worked his
way through the crowd Of ladies until he
faced one Of the clerks who WAS exhibiting
some articles to a young lady, when he
broke out with:
"Say, mister, who's boss here
"The proprietor has just stepped out"
"Well, is this retailing shop
eyes, cir, wholesale and retail store. "
"Guess you understand your trade"
"Oh, yes, replied the clerk, wrapping
up bundle for his lady customer, "what
can do for you?''
"Well, as the cold weather is coming on,
| thought | might as well come and give
you job"
81 don't understand you, sir" said the
clerk, who began to think that the fellow
was in the wrong box.
"'Zactly so; we'll, I'll tell you"
"Explain what you mean, my friend,
said the clerk, as he saw him produce bun
die from under his coat.
"Well, as I said before, the cold weather
is coming on, and thought l might as well
be fixin for it. Come mighty near freezn
t'other winter, tell ye did; but"
81 hope you will say what you want, sc
| may serve you.
"Certainly squire, certainly; always dc
business in hurry; and just as quick AZ
the old master will let you, want to re-
tail these old shirts. Let 'em come dowr
about the knees, kasc don't wear draw
ers."
The effect may be imagined, but, a.
novelists say, can't be described. The loud
burst of laughter which followed, served to
convince the poor fellow that he had com.
mitted himself, and his long legs were put
in motion for the door.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31
SCISSORINGTUNS..

L
In press-Yestetday's Table-cloth.
They still advertise for "a good giA "
cook."
A Minnesota editor Mas been astonishs6
by bean eleven inches long.
| 1t is easier to be wise for others than for
ourselves.
Do not meddle with business you know
nothing Of.
| An hour Of triumph comes to dose VIM
waech and wsis.
| A bullet, string and a pistol are -
dental Instruments New Haven nAs
uses.
I A prisoner got out Of the Green Bay eal-
aboose by picking the lock with tooens
pick.
| An Englnh publisher who advertised
Joaquin Miller, half cali" is threatene&
with libel suit.
Since the hard times struck Nevada they
have raised the price Of killing Chinsmen 70
seven dollars.
The great secret Of success in life is for
man to be ready when his opportunity
comes.
A good word is an easy obligation, but
not to speak i'll requires only silence that
costs nothing,
A young lady from Allegheny called at 4
Pittsburgh bookstore the other morning for
a deck Of them new posted keards; double-
headers.
"Killed by a visitation of Providence
through the medium Of horse" was tho
coroners verdict in the case of Georgia
man who was kicked to death.
"Tbere!" said Jones, as he wrathfuhy
pushed away the pie which his lahdlady had
just served him, "the stuff isHt 1T to eat
and amt going to eat it,"
A Cincinnati matron says that fhere ,
not fashionable girl in that city but would
rather stay away from church than be seen
wearing pair Of single button gloves.
In proportion as we ascend the social
scale, we find as much mud there as below,
only it is hard and gilded.
Tipkins aroused bis wife from a sound
sleep the other night. saying be had seem .
ghost in the shape Of an ass. 20, fet no
Sleep" was the reply Of the irats datse.
lard dsst b htishisssa as ysas sws ahaa-
ow."
A newspaper paragraph says that .
Chicago girl complains to the police that slo
has been robbed Of 224 gold rings. Where.
upon, mean paragraphist observes THAT.
probably, at least two hundred Of them
were engagement rings.
Last week. in Ohio. a young lady diea
from what round-headed old doctor SID
was "heart klot or embyolism Of the main
Aue Of The heart" but she revived in an
hour, and it was found sue had been tenn.
porarily choked by a chew Of gum which
she had swallowed.
The Governor of Wyoming winds ~ bis
Thanksgiving proclamation in this style:
"Gve thanks unto the Lord, for his mercy
endureth foyever. In witness whereof
have hereunto set my hand, and caused tho
great seal of the Territory to be affixed
ETC., etc.
A German peddler sold a man liquid
for the determination Of bugs. "And how
do you use It ?" inquired the man, after b
had bought it. "Ketch 70 bug, IN drop
Won little drop into bis mout." ssewored the
peddler. "The deuce you dol" exclaimed
the purchaser; IL could kill it In half tho
time by stamping on it," "Vell," calmly
exclaimed the German, "dat is good way.
too"
1t is no disgrace to be able to do every
thing; but to undertake or pretend to do
what you are not made for, is not only
shameful. but extremely troublesome and
vexatious.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31
TWO FOES OF HEALTH.

Cold and damp are inimical to health, and we
generally have an unwholesome combination of
the two at this Season. They penetrate the skin
and integuments and affect the muscular, gland
ular and nervous organizations producing rheu-
matism, neuralgia, chlls and fever and where
there is tendency to dyspepsia or liver COM
plant, provoking an attack OF indigestion or
billiousness. The best advice that can be given
under such circumstances is to keep the exter-
nal surface of the body warmly clothed and to
keep the internal organs in vigorous working
order with the most wholesome and genial of all
tonics Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. Gradually
but constantly this famous ipvigorant is super
sednp the adulterated liquors of commerce, as
n medicinal stimulant and corrective, in all parts
of the country. 1t will be happy day for hu-
manity, and it will surely come, when this pure
restorative shall have taken the place OF raw
spirits as stimulant in all our public and
private hospitals 1t is not, however, merely o
harmless substitute for the fiery stimulants re-
ferred to- Its stimulating properties are not its
chief merits, although in this regard it surpas-
ses all the unmedicated products of the still,
domestic or imported The powerful influence
it exercises over the torpid and toneless stom-
ach, the disordered liver, the constipated bowels
and the relaxed nerves, render it positive spe-
cific in dyspepsia, liver complaint, Intestinal
lconstriction, nervous weakness, hypochondia,
rheumatism and sleeplessness. All chronic
complaints are aggravated by cold, moist at
mosphere, and it is th erefore particularly neces-
sarv for those who are afflicted with ailments OF
this nature, whatever their type may be. to meet
This nredisposing cause of sickness with q
wholesome antidote. Hostetters Bitters should
be taken daily at this season by all persons Ia
boring under chronic ailments that tend to
weaken the system.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31


NoBoDYs BUSINESS. Porter he's
invented wonderful torpedo. 1t is likely
to revolutionize naval warfare completely,
1t consists of large boat, armed with ono
or two guns, and carrying q tremendous
percussion shell in It's nose. You get into
the boat with a picked crew Of thirty or
forty men; you then row up under the ene'
my's guns, to which you pay no attention,
hurl your boats nose foremost like clap
of thunder against the hull Of his vessel.
when the shell explodes, carrying wreck.
ruin, death and destruction to everything
and everybody within five miles around.
"And what" it may be asked, "becomes
Of the boat and its crew r "Well, that's
none of your business, and Admiral Porter
doesn't seem to think it any of bis either.
|-LouisriUe Courier Journal.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

A Pennsylvania preacher while holding SER
vices, recently gave thanks in fervent
prayer, for the prosperous condition of their
crops" excepting, 0 Lord, the corn, which
is backward, and the oats, which are
mighty thin in spots"
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

"The Israelites Crossing the Red Sea, !"
ia one of the paintings exhibited by pro-
fessor in Maine, who claims in his ADVERTISE
ment that they were photographed direct
from nature"
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

A Maud Muller laughed heartily at a
young haymaker when the yellow. jackets
got up bis naked trousers; but when they
got up her'n, twas no joke.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

A negro held COW while cross-eyed
man was to hit her on the head With an
axe. The negro observing the mans eyes,
in some fear inquired: els you gwine to hit
wbar you look Z" eyes" "Den, hold de
COW yourself" said Cufee.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31
VOLUME %.
PLACER HERALD
0dicial Paper of Placer County
.u,rIsHxp EVERY SATURDAY MORNING BY
wALkUP 4 FllCHER.

Terms Of Subscription.
o.. an. years subscription, in advance, 81 90
70 ,aid within the year. .................. w
voy ak months, ................. oo
Var three months, ............'....' on
Ain ole copies, .....'....-.... ~
mates sf Unonicial Advertising.
v... nsertion of ten lines, this sized type 81 so
~ subsequent insertion, l 90
g. half square, or less, s,................ %
1..h subsequent insertion, ...... ...... 50
T;heral deductions made to monthly or yearly
sdvertisers 10 o,,oa ~,
49, advertisement, otherwise it will be continued
s.t forbidden, and charged for accordingly.
Il is hereby expressly agreed and stipulated
.o,ve.n the proprietor and those having work
:, .dyertisng done, or being subscribers, that
ii rsvments at the above rates are to be made
current United States gold or silver com.
OFFICIAL ADVERTISING.
r.. following rates, AS FIXED BY LAW, will be
.l.roed for all legal advertisements and notices.
TsI tho first insertion one dollar and nifty
..,t. psr square of two hundred and fifty ems,
M one dollar pei square for each additional IN
..,non up to four, and thirty-ive cents per
.sn.re for each subsequent insertion.
,y All legal advertisements must be plainly
vrttsp. and the number of insertions must al
v,ys be marked on the margin of each adver,
,;..ment, or they will be continued and charged
accordingly. The publisher will not be respon-
,ible for faulty or illegal manuscript.
The Placer herald., 1874-01-31

w- All parties needing the services OF an e1-
perienced surveyor are advised to employ J. A.
Benson, U. S. Deputy Mineral Surveyor, Au-
burn, Cal. He has the Government Field Notes.
the possession of which enables him to restore
lost corners without delay. He charges mod
erately and works rapidly.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
GENERAL. NATuRE-No. 30. |

AN ACT to amend an act entitled IAN act
to amend an act entitled An act to re-
duce duties ON imports and TO reduce
internal taxes, and for other purposes, -
approved March third, eighteen hundred
and seveniy-three.
be ii enacted by The Senate and House Of
Representatives. Of he United states Of
Imertcd IN Congress assembled, That see
ton third of an act entitled "An act to
amend an act entitled An act 10 reduce
duties on imports, and To reduce internal
taxes and for other purposes" approved
March third, eighteen hun ircd and seven
ty-thrCe, be amended 50 as to read rs fol-
lows:
''SEC. 3. That foreign merchandise which
arrived at port ofthe United States on or
before the thirty. first day of July. eighteen
hundred and seventy two, and upon which
duties were not paid prior to August first,
eighteen hundred seVentY-two, though the
same were not entered or transferred 10
public store or bonded warehouse, shall lie
entitled TO the benefits provided for in the
eighth section of the act entitled An act to
reduce duties on imports, and 10 reduce
Internal taxes, and Tor other purposes, ap-
proved June sixth, eighteen hundred and
seventy-tWo, the same as such merchandise
would have been entitled 10 had it actually
been in public store or bonded warehouse
on or prior to the thrty-lirst day of July,
eighteen Aundred and seveuty-two: Pro-
Uided, That the owner of such merchandise
shall, within thirty days from the passage
of this act make application therefor in
writing to the collector of the port at which
such merchandise arrived
Approved, June 3, 1874.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

Miss ANNIE KIRK, of Bethel, Pa, is en-
titled TO the praise of being the best lady
poultryist on record. In 1872 she cleared
$3.50 after paying for all the feed, freight,
DC. She commenced with ei- hty fowls
Cochin Chinas, Brahmas, and other varie-
ties-and found the Cochin and Brahmas
the most profitable, being healthier and of
speedier growth for the market She fed
from seven to ten bushels of corn per week,
and the young ones with cracked corn.
She is also keeping an account of stock this
year-an account which shows every item
of expense and protit-and expects to real
ize as much, if not more, than last year.
When attacked by the prevailing poultry
disease last year, Miss Kirk speedily
checked its spread by the free use of lime,
scattering it all about and giving limo
wafer to Crnk.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

A FRAUD.-A common impression pre-
walls among the people that person bav-
ing committed an assault against another,
can Immediately go before a justice of the
peace-plead guilty, and be assessed in a
nominal fine, pay IL, and no further prose-
cution can be commenced for the offence.
Judge Ross of the supreme court has ex-
ploded this notion, in the decision of a case
in the Caledonia county court. One De-
creme waylaid a neighbor on the road, and
gave him severe pounding. The same
night the assailant went to one or two JUS
tees of the peace To get them TO fine him,
but they declined. The next morning he
procured grand jurors complaint, and
was fined with costs. He was indicted for
the assault in the county court, aud, on
trial, the respondents counsel filed plea
in bar, alleging former conviction. The
state replied that the former conviction was
a fraud-and so the court held, and again
fined the respondent so aud costs.-Rut-
tdlld Globe.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
NatIrod0s.
CENTRAL VERMONT RAILROAD.
,-sz...s55.z.s-- SU NJ NJ Err
&E ARRANG EN- ENT.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH

TRAINS GOING SOUTH
LEAVE BRATTLKBoBo at 1870 and s;42a. m. at2:OO
and $3.50 p. III.
MAIL TRAIS.-Leave st. Adams at 40 M, Bratle
boro at 3 80 p. m.-connectiug at New London
with steamer for New York.
NIGHT EXPnEss.-Leaye Ogdensburg at 10 49, p M.
Montreal at 3:45 p. M, st. AlDans at :25 p. m,
Brattleboro at 40 a. m.-arriving at New London
at II rs 4. m.
MAIL TRAIS.--Lelve white River Junction at o 20
a. M, Rutland Mixed at 4 $50 a. m, BratebOro
at B:42 am, arriving at New London at l5 pm.
MIXED TRAIN Leave White River Junction at 800
p. IN, arriving at Brattieboro at 9:4O p. IN.
EXPRESS TRAIS.-Leaye Brattleboro at 200 p. Ill.,
reaching Miller's Falls at $50 p m.
GOING NORTH.
LEAVE BRATTLEBoRo at 90 a. M, 10 80 a. m, 55
p. M, 10 :2Op. m.
MAIL TRAIE.-Leave New London at 100 a.. M, Brat
tleborO at 10 :3C 4. m, for White River Junction,
Rutland, Burlington, St. Adams, Montreal, and
Ogdensburg.
MIXED TRAIS.-Leave Brattleboro at 1900 a. NJ. for
Bellows Falls and White River Junction.
EXPRESS TRAIs.-Leaye Miller's Falls at II 20a. M
arriving at Brattleboro at ~ 40 p. m.
ACCoMMoDATIoE TRAIE.-Leaye New London at 8 10
q. m, BrattlebOro at 80 p. M, for White Rive
Junction and Rutland.
Mont FxPREss.-Leave New London at 3:17 p. M,
BratebOrc at 10 30 p.m for White River Junction,
Rutland, Burlington, st. Adams MontTeal aud
Ogdensburg,
Pullmans Drawing Room and Sleeping Cars are run
on nighttrains between Springfield and Montreal.
J.W HOBART, Gen Sup't.
st. Adams, VI, May 20, 1874 soft
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

Mr.. Yankee: You will please return
this flagstaff and shoulder-belt over to tho
ninth Maine, from whom IL was captured
at st. Gimorron, Goth October; 1864, by
Three Forks Regiment Volunteers.
"BIG REBEL"
The Name soldiers claim they did not
loose "A single flag during the whole war
but perhaps this one didn't count" One
flag, very much torn, was taken at NAL
vcrn Hill from South Carolina regiment,
who piled up their dead 10 serv cas- ram
parts, fighting behind the CHASTITY bulwark
to the bitter end. The last was captured
from the Sum1ter flying artillery nj Apo
mattox Station, April 2 1865.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

AN ACT changing the time of holding cir
cult and district courts in Vermont.
BE ii enacted By the Senate and House Of
Representatives Of The United States Of
Americd in Congress assembled. That the
term of the circuit court holden Mt Rutland
on the third day of October shall be held on
the first Tuesday in October, and the term
Of the district court holden at Rutland on
the sixth day of October shall be held on
the first Tuesday OF October. The term of
the circuit court holden at Windsor on the
fourth Tuesday in July shall be held on the
third Tuesday in May. and the term of the
district court held at Windsor on the Mon
day after the fourth Tuesday of July shall
he on the third Tuesday in May PrOuided
That this act shall not apply to the next
terms of the circuit and district court to he
holden at Windsor, but the same shall be
held at the times now provided by law.
Approved, June ., 1874.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
GENERAL NATuRE-No. 3O1

AN ACT to amend an act entitled IAN act
10 provide for the establishment of a mil
itary prison aud for its government" al =
proved March thin d, eighteen hundred
aud seventy-lhrec.
Bet enacted bUfhc SENATE and House Of Rep
reScntdtiUeS Of the United Suites 0f Imcricd,
IN Congress assembled, That said act be, and
the same is hereby, 30 amended that all
acts aud things therein required 10 be- done
and performed at Rock Island, in the State
Of Illinois, shall be done and performed on
the military reservation at Fort Leavcn
worth, in the State Of Kansas: PrOUidcd.
that the Government buildings now on
said military reservation at Fort lcaNcn-
worth shall be modified and used 80 far -
practicable for the purposes Of said prison.
Approved, May u, 1874.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
GENERAL NAruRE-No. 81

AN ACT repeating the act entitled AN
act liking the time for the election OF
Representatives from the Stale of Cali
lurnia to the Fortv-iuurth Congress"
BE IL enacted by The Senate dy'd House Of
RcprcScntdhrcs Of the United States Of
America ia Congress assembled, That the
act entitled "An act fixing the time for the
election of Representatives from the Slate
of California to the Forty fourth Congress,
approved March third, eighteen hundred
and seventy-threc, he, aud the same is
hereby, repealed.
ApDroVed Nav q, 1874.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
tOFFICIAL.l
L A w s
OF THE
UNITED STATES
PASSED At THE
FIRST SESSION OF THE FORTY-THlRD CONGRESS.

GENERAL NATURE-No. %
AN ACT to establish an assay-uilicc ut Hell
cna, in the territory of Montana.
BE IL enacted By The Senate and House Of
Representatives ~ the United states Of
IHteIicd ia Congress assembled, That the
Secretary of the Treasury is hereby author
lied and required 10 establish an assay-oi-
fee at Helena, in tile Territory of Montana,
the said assay office 10 hc conducted under
the provisions OF the act entitled " An act
revising aud amending the laws relative 10
the mints, assay offices, and coinage of the
United States approved February twelfth,
eighteen hundred and scvcnly-lhrce.
SEC. .. That the Secretary of the Hreasu-
ny is hereby authorized and directed to
cause to hc constructed a suitable building
al Helena, in the Territory Of Montana, tor
the purpose Of said assay-ollicc, and provide
the saue with the necessary fixtures and
apparatus, ut cost not exceeding iiuy
thnusard dollars, which sum is hereby an
proprated out any money in the Treas
ury, not otherwise appropriated.
Approved May II, 1874.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

IA Passenger Trains leave Keene daily at Is AM.
and is fM, connecting at South Vernon with Conn.
River Railroad trains for Springfield Hartford, New
Haven and New York, and with Vt. a Mass. Railroad
for Brattleboro, aud with New London Northern Rail-
road for New London and New York.
hETUhNINd-Leav South Vernon at 0 So M. and
10 PM Tor on arrival of Conn. River r. X. trains)
Tor keene, Bellows Falls, Fitchburg, Boston, &c.
Trains also leave SO. Vernon for Reene at SO AM,
ana arrive III keene in season to connect with the
Cheshire train for Boston. Also trains leave Keene
for South Vernon at o is PM, or on arrival Of the
night express train from Boston.
Keene, Feb, H. 1874 Il. STEWART, supt,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17

Intelligence has just been received of'a
terrible disaster in the sea OF Marmora.
The British vessel Kars, en- route for Salon
lea, was run into by an Egyptian vessel
named Beharia, and sunk in a few min
utes. The Kars had $40 persons on board,
including the crew and passengers, and of
this number 800 were drowned.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1874-07-17
AppIeton's Journal
ron 1874.

ApPLETON's JOURNAL, is an illustrated magazine
Of weekly ssuo devoted to popular literature, science
art, education, and social development.
Its Characteristic feature IL oUMrREHESsfvEFHss;
the purpose Is to furnish periodical which will give,
IN addition to abundance Of entertaining popular
literature contributed by writer's ~ ACKNOWLEDGED
standing thorough survey of the progress OF thought
tho advance Of the arts and the dnings in oil the high
or branches of intellectual effort.
1t should be noted that In pursuance Of this plan, the
space at disposal is far extensive than that of
the magazines issued in monthly form, at the same
yearly subscription The nfty-two numbers of Apple
toms Journal forming years ISSUE contain one
third mOr literary Iuatctill than tho twelve
corresponding issues OF the largest Of the nnnthog
and Of COURSE much larger proportion in ,xcesR II
the smaller ones We may add that candid oxainina-
tlon will show that, with greater QuASTitY, there Is
inferior QUALITY Of literary production
The Journal is made up in several III tinct deparl-
mrnts ~ follows:
General Literature consisting already described
Of felton, essays talcs Of adventure aud travel illus
trated papers, and articles Of the usual magazine char
actcr.
Under Msceldny the reader finds brilliant extracts
from new books; many highly entertaining sketches
Of notable pcrsons and things, translated from Cont
mental Journals; aud extracts giving the of the
more noteworthy papers In the English magazine.
In the Editors Table, social topics Of interest are
discussed aud ganccs given a: current nci1onts and
doings.
observations decorative and housohold art aud a
general survey of art In all its branches.
10 Music and the Drama arc anor ed reviews Of
whatever Is noteworthy on the lyric and dramatic
stage, with criticisms Of must In the concert ropu
and papers upon the various manifestations IN the
world Of music ard the siIgr.
Literary Notes devoted to reviews Of new books
and intelligence in regard to literary progress.
Under Scientific Notes, the pro yress of invention
aud scovcry ia carefully noted and the duugs u the
scientific world are recorded.
Contemporary Sayings grans the brief brighter ut
tcTances u. journalists, ussays ~ orators, ptoachers
current In the passing literature.
The Record gives retrospective summary Of eyentr
In form convenient for reference.
For those whn prefer IT, the journal is nut M in
Monthly rart' and IN this form it, scope aud vaity
~ compared with thcr magazines, becpme cuuspcu-
uusly apparent.
Price. 10 Gents per Number, or $500
per anDum, ia Advance.
Subscriptions received Tor twelve six months SUI
scririou prize Of mpnthly parts, $3.50.
Any person procuring hvr yearly suiecriptio is for
weekly nunbcrs aud r'mtting 500, will be- outitl, Ia
copy for one year gratis: fifteen yearly subscribe
for weekly number, aud rrmitiing $50, viii pnttir
sender tn cnpy for one year gratis.
Volumes b-gn January aud July.