The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-11-27
Pith and Point.

NO1eflLOeT.
Pith and Point.
A PRYMATE-An inquisitive wife,,
MEN of letters-Postofice clerks.
RIFLE practice Picking pockets.
WHAT is always offered at cost? The
law.
A HIGH note-One of thousand dol
lars.
The harness of life-The traces of
time.
WHEN does q man have to keep his
word ? When no one will take it.
SPONGE baths are recommended.
The best way to get one is to go to some
bathroom, take bath and tell the pro-
prietor to charge it.
A BOY astonished his parents the 9TH
er day by casually remarking that the
back of that hair brush seemed to him
s'almost sacred thing"
NOTHING will test mans strength of
purpose and steadiness of eye SO thor
oughly as the endeavor to balance am
eel on the end of his nose.
"I WANT to know" said creditor,
fercely, s'when you are going to pay
me what you owe me ?" ssI give it up,
replied the debtor, task me something
easy"
WILL B, spirited boy of SIX,
has a mother whom he adores, and q
tnext older sister with whom he holds
profound theological discussions. Onee
the subject was universal depravity.
"Why, Will, everybody is wicked,
even pa and ma" Maggie Ma wick
ed ?' eyes, VIII, everybody-ma too. -
VIII Il (e5plosivelyl-" I'm glad @ Of
wickedness to Will-only another bond
of ympathy.-C Christian Age.
EPITAPH on a reporter by lawyer:
Then A. J.s dead,
Hic jaoet, here he liesl
- Who knew reporter
Fer do otherwise?
EPIGRAM on the lawyer:
A legal friend proposes when Pm dead,
To write htc jacet Ger my hfeless head
This This viii not no Isl suit n him when a., his .o form T. ca
gTwouid have after meaning IL the line
WHEN the divine aflatus seizes the
editor of the LaSalle Press he can
discount any poet. Listen to his la
test
| "The bullfrogs raised their tails on high,
Ana Ssns ~ens hondernP oed ns Ps, 5
And then came on the rain."
ONE of the excursionists on q Lake
Champlain boat recently went to sleep
on deck, and in the morning couldn't
find his shoes. "Where did you put
them - "I opened that little cup
board and laid them on the shelf he
replied. The victim had opened the
7 wheel house and laid his shoes on the
paddle-wheel.
a A DISTINGUISHED man whose name
. and chin were both very long, and who
L Ak1wr 6A
and chin were brought very close to-
!, oether. was told: s?I am afraid your
nose and chin will fight ere long they
. approach one another very menacingly.
stI am afraid of it myself" replied the
gentleman, ssfor a great many words
= have passed between them already.
+ A DETROIT gentleman who purchased
8 a box of peaches at the Central market,
: the other day, looked around for boy
f who would carry them home, and pres
!, emily he found ragged Lad seated on
q bench eating the last remnant of pear.
b The man asked him if he wouldn't like
g to earn ten cents by carrying the box to
o such number and street, and the boy
Q promptly replied that he wouldn't.
8 q WHY ?" queried the man. tWhy ?''
+ echoed the boy, "because dad died the
r other day, and now I'm head of the FAM
: lily, and how'd I look, luggin' peaches
t around ?"
Eyes and Cold Water. "
The american Journal of Health
: and Medicine says, "The aquatic flu
. ror has become SO general that, for the
simple reason that cold water is pure,
: natural product, it is claimed to be q
universal and beneficial application.
: Arsenic is pure, natural and simple
product SO is prussic acid, as obtained
!, from the peach kernel. A single drop
q of tobacco oil will kill a cat or dog in
= five minutes. Many persons are daily
: running their eyes by opening them with
\ \ cold water of mornings. Cold water will
roughen the hands, and much more will
|. it do SO to the manifold more delicate
covering of the eye or the eye will, In
. self defense, become sealy in the man
ner of fish that is, the coats of the eye
v Will thicken, constituting a species OF
+ cateract, which must impair the sight.
It That water, cold and harsh as it is,
IS should be applied to the eye for cura-
d tive purposes, in place of that warm,
/. soft, lubricating fluid which nature
:, manufactures, just for that purpose, IN
n dicates great thoughtlessness or great
3. mental obliquity. Nothing stronger
10 than lukewarm water should ever De
Ie applied to the eye, except by medical
8 advice, and under special medical su-
h pervision."
= EVERY married man in Pittsburgh has
o turned boat-builder, and Is creating Q
gondola unto himself, since returned
Vana+io1 travaler unRat one on the river