davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
4 Justice Who knew Justice but No
Law.

In Hamilton County, Ohio, there
lives an old man named Sedan, who
for fortv-siy wears was a Justice of
the Peace, and who administered JUS
tice with such a thorough disregard
for law that he is known as the "Chief
Justice Of Storrs," that being the
/ township in which he resides.
The squire solemnized marriages,
and, when occasion required, granted
divorces A German and his wife,
whom he had married about five
months before, applied jointly one
day for a divorce. The Chief JUS
tice" heard their complaints, after
which he t I'D the German to state
the amount of money he had, and the
value of the goods he owned in a
small store. This done, the Squire
told the German to give his wife the
money and to keep the store. To
this he objected. Then he told the
German to keep the money and give
his wife the store. To this PROPOSE
ton he also objected. Well" said
the Squire, "you are not inclined to
act justly toward your wife, and I'll
be blamed if | don't compel you to
live with her now for the balance of
your life, and if you don't treat her
right / II Danish you and give her
everything This had the desired
effect, and the unhappy couple settled
tkeir differences, and departed appa-
rently happy
Another good story is told Of the
Squire which will illustrate his idea
of justice. \ German living in his
neighborhood kept a vicious dog,
which had served as a nuisance to
all passers One Sunday morning
an old gentleman called on the Squire
in a sad plight. The dog had made
an assault on him aud succeeded in
tearing out a goodly portion of his
"pantaloons." The Squire was at
breakfast, and at once ordered the
complainant to sit down to the ia
bic and eat his breakfast while his
constable went after the owner Of the
dog. The German was attired in his
best clothes, ready for church, when
be was brought before the Squire.
After confronting the parties the
Squire ordered the constable to "bas-
tile them both until they exchanged
pants. The latter occupation did not
occupy much time, when the prison
was thrown open and they were al
lowed to depart. The Squire still
laughs over the case, but he SAYS he
never heard any further complaint
about that dog.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Ducks rs EggProducers.

The number of eggs laid by duck
depends very much on the breed to
which she belongs. In all poultry
the non-sitters lay more than those
that are concerned in the rising gen.
Grafton. Thus the Aylesbury will
lay greater number of eggs than
other ducks. The black duck, called
the Labrador, the East Indian or
Buenos Ayres is good layer.-The
Rouen is an average layer: and the
wild duck lays few compared to these.
An old duck is as q rule better than
young one, but it is impossible to
give the average of any of them.
Avlesbury ducks begin to lay in Nov.
and December; Rouens three months
later Both the time when they be-
gin laying, and the number of eggs
they lay are influenced by their keep
and by judicious management.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
The Voyage ofa Toy Balloon

One day last week a gentleman in
CINCINNATI bought one of those red
toy balloons that are sold at the
street corners, and after attaching a
card with his name and address. star
ted 1t oil on a voyage of discovery.
There was a brisk westerly wind
blowing, and it soon passed above
houses and steeples, overthe hills and
far away. 1t was almost forgotten.
when he received a letter inclosing
his card with fragment of balloon at
tached, informing him that the bal
loon descended about two hours after
leaving the city, on the farm of Mr..
Tatman, thirty miles east of Cincin-
natti. 1t fell near a man at work on
the farm, who has been the subject of
great mental excitement, imagining
among other things, that the end of
the world is at hand. To him the
advent of the balloon. was a regular
sensation, in fact special messenger
from another sphere confirming him
in the theory ofa speedy smash-up of
things terrestrial
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
A Nishap.

We have gravel roof on our
house, and the other day some work
men were up there fixing it. They
had block and tackle rugged on the
edge of the roof, with rope reach
ing to the ground, for the purpose of
hoisting the tar and gravel. Our
girl went out washing the yard at
the time, and somehow the hook on
the end of the rope caught on her
hoopskirt as she walked pastit. The
man ON the roof was discussing the
Darwinian theory, or the tax on rum,
or something at that moment, and
seeing the rope shake be considered
it was the signal to haul up, so with
out looking over the edge he began
to wind the crank with velocity. A
moment later the next-door neighbors
heard fearful screams, and as they
rushed to the windows they perceiv-
ed an athletic exile of Erin swiftly
ascending toward the blue, ethereal
heaven.
The man at the crank fairly ached
to look over and see what the noise
was about, but he couldn't stop, be
thought, until he got the bucket at
the top. But he put on more vehc-
mcnce, and in a moment he was
amazed to see human head, adorn-
ed with red hair, looming above the
gutter spout. His first impulse was
to let go the crank and run. But
overcoming the earlier shock of fright
he held on to the crank with one
hand, while with the other he seized
a handful of warm red hair and haul
ed the owner upon the roof
We live in one of row of houses
which are all joined together, and
they do say that the impetuosity
with which that girl of ours charged
upon the man who mussed her hair,
and chased him over the roofs clear
up to the corner, where he saved HIM
self by crawling down the chimney
tlue, was at once impressive and ex-
hilirating. She stood over that CHM
ney expressing her views concerning
the mans present character and future
prospects until she was exhausted,
when she walked home to our roof,
lifted the trap door, descended-and
went to bed. And when the man
emerged and brushed the SCOT of him
he conGded to his colleague, while
distributing gravel, that he would
rather dive at once into the bowels OF
burning volcano than to meet that
hired girl again in a place where
there was no chance to run.-Mdr
n jJIe,.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
The Mistakes OF n Sfsht
onrns City Nclrs saws:

Tho Kansas CITY Ne1cS says;
.lTboro was q big excitement near
uoveIman's store, on East Eighteenth
street a few nights ago. An aged
connIc and a bulldog reside there,
ana an the evening in question the
neace and quiet Of the trio were dis-
;nrbcd by the aggressions OF vag-
rant cow that hooked" open the
rate and entered the enclosure. The
ala gentleman heard the noise made
Inv the COW. jumped out OF bed, grab
bed his cane, loosed Tiger" and at
tackled the COW. Now, this COW had
had a varied experience with all sorts
of dogs throughout the city, and was
especially proficient in the art OF man,
aging a bulldog SO, just as the old
man caught the bovine by the tan,
the said bovine lifted Tiger" high IN
the air with her horns, and whisked
out the gate. with the old man hang
inr TO her caudel appendage, and
beating her to his hearts content with
his heavy cane. The old man and
the COW went flying down the street,
aud Tiger" after turning a somer-
sault or two in the air, came down
kersouse into the cistern in the yard,
the top of which was open.
Now, the old lady, noticing that
the noise in the yard had ceased, and
wondering at the prolonged absence
of her husband, stepped cut into the
ward to see what was the matter.
She heard a splashing of water in the
cistern, and, horror Of horrors, (she
thought) it was the old man!
Yell! Well, her shrieks would have
drowned out the sound of Gabrlel's
trumpet had that angel entered into
competition with her. The neigh
bors, alarmed at the cries, gathered
around her at once and in quite a
crowd. "Mv husbands in the els
ternr' she cried. "He can't swim
/ Oh. he'll be drowned! he'll be drown
ed and away went two or three for
a ladder. The ladder was brought
placed in the cistern, and a man de-
scended Just as the old gentlemen
rushed in at the gate He had heard
a block or two away, as he was re
turning from his chase after the cow
that some one had fallen into the els
tern at his house, and he believed i
was his wife, for who else could bC
about there Seeing the crowd o
r sparsely-dressed neighbors around the
cistern (the old lady had swOoneC
; away bv this time and been carried
, into the house) he ran into the house
/ CRYING in the greatest agony: "Savt
= her. for Gods sake! Oh, my poor
: wife 81 "Save the d-l!" exclaimed
three or four in breath; your wifi,
saws YOU are in the cistern.'
) BY this time the old lady had re
, covered sufficiently to renew her hys
terical screaming again, and com
menced yelling at greater rate thar
ever, Just as the man in the cisterr
crawled out and exclaimed, It's moth
= ing but that id dogr;
The night was cold, the neighbor.
had not taken time to dress, end THEN
bodies were as cold as their indigna
ton was warm when they learned
what had disturbed their rest and
dragged them from their beds at such
an untimely hour of the night. They
had one consolation however-therC
was as dead a dog as ever breathles'
Law.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25

a Swindle In Thread

The New York Commercial i'd
rerttser SAYS: A number of men are
going around town selling thread bv
the single spool or in the quantity
and reaping rich harvest. The
men who have the thread for sale
tell pitiful and plausible story to the
effect that they were workmen in the
thread mills at Paterson, New Jersey
and that when the mills were forced
to suspend, in consequence of the
panic, they had to take their wages
out in thread. For this reason they
say they can sell thread at about one
half the retail price. No thread
mills in New Jersey have suspended
and no hands in any of the mills have
been paid in thread. The spools
that are sold bear on their top. ap-
parently the well known legend,
"warented 200 yards" The buyer
in using the article, finds that
after thirty or forty yards have been
rolled of, he has nothing left but SOL
id wood. If the purchaser examines
the top of the spool, he will find an
infinite small ! ! printed between the
warranted and 900 Yards, so
that the spool really claims to hold
hfty yards though it is intended
that the eve shall be deceived by the
figures. The rogues think that they
can not be arrested for fraud.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Murderin Texas.

GALVESTON, March ia special
despatch from IndianOla says thai
this afternoon two men, one named
Taylor and the ather unknown,
walked aboard the steamer Clinton
lying at the wharf there, and deliber
alely shot and killed two men named
Sutton and Slaughter, and then made
their escape. These men were all
connect ed with the bands of despera
does that were making things so live
ly in De Witt county Of late. The
murdered men were supposed 20 be
making an effort to get away on the
steamer, having been warned that
they were followed.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Thinking Farmers.

If farmers do not make their call
ing honorable, they have only them
selves to blame. They are always
called by politicians the ''boue and
sinue of the land, "and if they neglect
the cultivation of their minds they
will never be anything but bone and
sinuc. Bone is good, but brain, is
better. Muscle is necessary but mind
must direct.
The poor and ignorant may be
just as good as the rich and wise, be-
cause moral worth is one thing and
intellectual worth Another; but it is
"a fact that those men ever will be
most respected who, with equal NOR
ais, make the best use of their hands
Lawyers and merchants only succeed
in the world by diligent study, and
farmers can only readily succeed in
like manner.
A man may, in rare cases be an eX-
cellent farmer, and yet be unable to
read, but he is always thinker
His neighbors read and he hears
them talk. They gather ideas from
books and apply them, and watches
the result. In bis own operations
every good farmer watches carefully
to discover the reason for success
and the causes for failure.
Vast good has resulted in our own
country from farmers clubs, where
the experience of neighborhood is
talked over. To be useful they must
be practical 1t is not lyceum fol
rhetorical culture-although conf
dence and ability in public speaking
are amcng the important incidental
results-but the object should be to
compare facts and experience. If a
man has raised good crop let hin
tell his neighbors, in little gather.
ing what kind was used and when
and what manner planted. If a fail
ure has occurred, state fully the cir
cumstances, anG your neighbors may
tell you wherein you failed. Even
if no valuable information is directly
elected at meeting hints are often
given and trains of thought are
started that result in greater good.
Farmers depend upon it you too
much neglect your business, and dc
not sufficiently honor it by the active
employment of your heads as well a.
hands. You may rise early anC
work late, but for the lack of fore
thought take many false step ant
miss good crops No merchant cal
succeed by such neglect as is com
mon among farmers. 1t is not tha
farmers know less but they are not q
alert and active to ALL improvement
and progress. If they would thin
more about their business, success
would oftener crown their efforts ant
greater honor rebound to their occu
patton.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
To keeptfiains i'm Summer.

There are a number of modes Civ
en- to keep hams during the warm
season free from the attacks of insects.
Some bag them and whitewash the
bags, which is troublesome and some
what expensive; some cover them
with dry wood-ashes and pack in
barrels and cover thoroughly with
pine shavings; but we think the best
plan of all, and certainly the least ex-
pensive with all who have a smoke
house, and every farmer should have
a good one, is to keep the hams hung
up in the smoke house, which should
be kept perfectly dark at all times.
We have some hams so kept two
years I'D, and they were among the
very best We ever tasted. Uniform
darkness is complete protection
against the attack of insects.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25

A PARIS physician relates the par
ticulars of curious case he has un.
der his charge. 1t is that of young
girl, eighteen years of age, who is
afflicted with what is termed hichato
piris to say she loses the faculty Of
sight In daylight and RECEIVERS it in
darkness Although her eyes do no,
present any special morbid character
she is forced to keep her eyelids clos.
ed during the day and to cover her
head with q thick veil. On the OF her
hand, with the ST. Lltters of a room
hermetically fastened she reads and
writes perfectly in the deepest dark
ness. She feels no pain beyond a
slight lassitude when the solar ligh,
strikes her visual organs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
General Grant on Cruelty TO Animals

In 1864. at City Point, Va. the
General Of the Army strolled along
the Wharf One day, seeing a big.
rawboned tesmster belaboring one of
his wheel mules with a billet of
wood, and cursing him roundlv. he
quietly said: my man, stop beating
that mule" Rawny, looking around
to the little unostentatious-appearing
person in a plain blouse-"Say, be
you driving these here mules, or be
II" and bat, crack, again went the
cudgel, the mule lodging, and jump
ing the tongue. WELL" said the
general, Il think | have sufficient
authority here to stop your cruelty
to that animal;n and turning to the
officer in charge ofthe train, he order
ed him to have the teamster tiled
up" for twenty-four hours. when he
returned to camp, and to report the
act to his headquarters when done.
The news spread rapidly from camp
TO camp, and there was much less
matchmaking after that.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Mr.. HoRNABy of Ford din Lac n,

Mr.. HoRNABY, of Fond du Lac at.
tempted to go down into the cellar
the other night to get pitcher of cider
His wife warned him to be careful
and not break the pitcher He slip.
ped on the first step and fell to the
bottom, skinned his elbows and knees
bumped his head, broke his nose
tore his coat, and landed on the eel
lar floor total wreck, but saving the
pitcher. Mrs. Hornaby called to
him in Mortified accents, "Mr Horna-
by. Mr.. Hornaby did You break
the pitcher" He growled back, "No.
| didn't, but by thunder | will" and
he did.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25

TnE Supreme Court ofthe State OF
Illinois has just rendered an impor.
tant decision in the case of Michael
LAWN, convicted in Cook County for
selling intoxicating liquors To- "a per-
son who was in the habit of getting
intoxicated. When selecting a jury
IA the lower court defendant asked
each Juryman whether he was men,
Der OF temperance society or had
contributed any funds to secure the
punishment of offenders against the
Temperance law. The States At
torney objected and the Court sus-
tanned the objection. The Supreme
Court declared: THAT the refusal
OF the Court to permit the questions
asked TO be answered was error, for
which the judgment should be revcrs-
ed
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25

This space is reserved for }:
F. Blymyer, who has removed
his stock into the most magnl-
ficent hardware room in this
place. He can be found in
Room No. 3, Baer's Block.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Miscellaneous.


crar UittcrS are n purely Vegetable
nrcporation, made chiefly Som the na-
tive herbs found on The lower ranges OF
tie Sierra Nevada mountains OF Callior-
MIA, the medicinal properties of which
are extracted thcrcirom without the use
of Alcohol. The question is almost
daily asked. "What is the cause cs the
unparallcled success Of VINEGAR BIT
TEi:s?" Our answer is, that they remove
the cause of disease, and the patient re-
covers his health. They are the great
blood purifier and life giving principle,
= perfect Rcnoyator and lnvigorator
of the system. Never before IN the
history of the world has medicine been
compounded possessing thc icinarkaDie
qualities Of VINEGAR BiTrERs in healing the
sick Of every disease man is heir 10. They
are a gentle Purgativc as well as a Tome,
relieving Congestion or Inflammation OF
the Liver and Visceral Organs IN Bilious
Diseases
The properties Of DE. WALKEE's
VINEGAR BlTrERs are Apcrient. Diaphorctic,
Carminatiye, Nutritious, Laxative. Dlnreuc,
Sedative. Countcr-Irritant Sudoriiic, Altera-
tive, and nu-D.lious.
GRATEFUL lHOuSlIluS ploclt!li ~
EGAR BITrERS the most wonderful In
vgorant that ever sustained III" sinking
system.
No Person can take these Bittera
according to directions, and remain lon-
unwell, provided their bones are not de-
stroycd by mineral poison or other
means, and vital organs wasted beyond
rnnair
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
For InIiammatory and Chronic

Rhcumalism. Cont, Bilious, Remit
tent and Intermittent Fcvcrs, Diseases Of
tie Blood, Liver. Kidneys and Bladder.
these Bittcrs have 10 equal. Such Diseases
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Scroiula. or Kings Evil. White

SwcllIngS. Ulcers, Erysipclus. SWcIlcI Neck.
Goitre. Scrofulous lnilammaiious. lnloent
InlammationS Mcrcurial Affections, Old
Sores. Erup;ious Of tie Skin, Sore Eyes. etc.
In these. rs in all other constitutional bis
eases, WALKER'S VINEGAR BITrEgS have
shown their great curative powers in the
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
For Skin Diseases. Eruptiors. re

ter Salt Eheum. BIotches, Spots, PimPies,
pu~tHicS BoiIs. CarbuncieS. Ring worms.
Scald-hcad Sore Eyes. EryspclaS. Itch.
ScurfS DiScoloratioHS Of the skin, lIumors
and Diseases of the Skin Of whatcvc. name
nr nature. are literally dug up and carried
out of the system in short time by the use
OF these EittcrS
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25

gagged IN Paints and AIInCraIs, such as
Plumbers, TyPe-setterS. Gold-bcatcrs. and
Miners. as they advance in life, are subject
to paralysis of the Bowels. To guard
against this, take dose Of WALKER'S NIN-
IL. u Er.r.rt.f.S ,cl.n .in..n III.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1874-03-25
Pin, Tape, and other Worms

lurking in the system of 50 many thousands,
are eiIcctullr destroyed and removed. No
.y.,cn Of medicine. no vcrmilugcS, no an
',.rlminiiics will free the system from worms
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-01-22
A MILLION Dollar nhserr,tnrr.

To the many instances OF private
munifcence during the past few yearS
there promises now to be added an
other, as il has been announced by
Professor Davidson 10 the CalifOrnia
Academy Of Sciences that James
LICK, OF San Francisco, has promised
the means to build = telescope OF the
largest size in the worId-probably
not less than thirty-fve or thirty-six
lncnes aperture. With this instru-
mens viii be combined every variety
OF apparatus commensurate herewith
snd OF the most perfect description,
MI. LICK proposes to endow his OBJ
servatOfy with one million dollars. 1t
is said that there are SUBMITS Of the
Sierra NevadaS OF California that are
accessible by railroad through the
whole winter, and that they offer un-
surpassed Inducements for the estab-
hShment Of an astronomical obserya-
tory. Near Lake Tahoe there are
suitable peaks, whose elevations ex-
ceed 10000 feet. Professor davidson,
IN communicating to the California
Academy the results of his examina-
ton of these regions, states that the
Va SAC1A anu 10
unusually large, amounting to two
hundred and seventy in q year, and
the elearness and optical steadiness
OF the atmosphere is remarkable.
There Is an almost perfect immunity
from dust, the mountain fianks being
covered with verdure in summer, and
snow in winter. He estimates the saw
ing of time and labor to the astrOnc-
mer to be in the ratio of six months
to one or two days. The mildness Of
the weather on the mountains Of the
Pacific coast is generally attributed to
the great amount of moisture that is
condensed in passing over them, and
in this respect they offer a remarka-
bic contrast to the White Mountains
Of New England.-EdHcr's Scientific
Record ia Harper's Magazine IOI'
February.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-01-22

that his journey may have a prosper
Gus issue, is so ancient and so cJm-
mon, that we only mention 1t here to
remind intending throwers that the
shoe should belong to the left foot
there is no virtue in its fellow; and
that the harder the recipient is hit,
the happier will be the result. Old
shoes are within everybOdy's reach,
but a friend is not always at hand to
perform the ceremony. However,
that scarcely matters much, since we
have lately learned success is not to
be retrieved, whether it be deserved
or not, by simply pOeketing a bit of
coal. There Is no reason why black
diamonds should not be so efficacious
as any other luek-bringers; still, belief
must halt somewhere, and ours halts
at coal, although ready to coneede
that ineredulity would be lessened il
the eoal-earriers Limited their faith to
genuine Wallsend.
The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1874-01-22
How Small Pnr Is Snraad-

The manner in which the small pOx
was conveyed to Olmstead is a COM
mentsry on the lack of sense or care
lessness Of some one. A man named
Neil, who lived in Olmstead came t0
Cleveland and stopped with a friend
here who had lately lost child by
small pOx. 1t is said that he was as
signed the very bed in which the
child had died and that on going
home he was attacked in a few days
with sickness. No one knew what
was the matter with him and he was
cared for and visited by friends. A
physician was called in who pro-
nouneed it case of small pox, but
not until a number of people had
been exposed, some of whom are at
present suffering with the disease.
Olmstead is suffering at present there
fore, by the inexcusable esrelessness
Of some One.-Le0oler.