Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-06-11
Popping the Question.

{
| indited the most brutal proposal we know
/ of. Tired of his shilly-shallying, Miss
/ Warvng seems to have insisted upon his
/ speaking out, and Swift spoke out with a
vengeance. After protesting he is too
! lust to stand in the way of her accepting
a more advantageous offer, he says he
must ask her few questiOns-question
he had long since resolved to ask of the
woman with whom he meant TO spend his
! life. care YOU in a condition to manage
domestic affairs with an income of less
than $500 year? Have you such an in
! clination to my person and honor as TO
comply with my desires and way of living,
and endeavOr to make US both as happy
! as YOU can! viii you be ready to engage
! in those methods [ shall direct for the i'm
provement of your mind, so as to make
| US entertaining company for each other,
/ without being miserable, when we are
neither visiting nor visited? Can you
| bend your love, esteem and Indifference
to others the same way as | do mine?
! Have you so much good nature as to en-
deavor by soft words to smooth any rugged
humor occasioned by the cross incidents
of life? Shall the place wherein your
! husband is thrown be more welcome than
| courts and cities without him?" Surely
never was lady so catechised by sutton
! for her hand. When Jane WaryD q felt able
| to answer every question in the affirma
| tive, then, and not till then, her lover saws =:
Il shall be blessed to have you in my arms,
without regarding whether your person
be beautiful or your fortune large. Clean
illness in the first and competency in the
second is all | look forl" This unique
epistle ends: " l single you out at first
I from the rest of women, and l expect not
| to be used like a common lover" Swift
was evidently enough a very uncommon
| one.
There is a world of difference between
the love making of morbid, self-loving
Swift and that Of cheerY-hearted Richard
Steele; the ravens croak and the lark's
| song are not more unlike The Christian
hero made love like lover and gentle
man. He never dreamed Of plying his
mistress with doubling question upon
question. Believing his Prue to be as
beautiful, witty, prudent and good
humored as woman could be, Steele was
contented to know she loved him and
| took the rest upon trust "Instead of
saying | shall die for you, [ profess |
should be glad to lead my life with you'll"
That is the way he pops the question.
A Frenchman smitten with the charms
of fair Lydia Sterne, instead Of trying to
secure her goodwill, wrote to her father
desiring to be informed what he was pre-
pared to give her upon marriage, and
how much he intended to bequeath her
He thought he would be able to say to
Miss Lydia as Petruchio said to Kate the
curst:
Your father has consented
That you shall be my wife: your dowry greed on,
And will you, mill you, will marry you.
Bat Sterne was not so eager to get rid of
his girl as was Signor Baptisa, and re-
piled: Sir, shall give my daughter ten
thousand pounds the day of marriage.
My calculation is as follows: She is not
IS, you are 62-there goes $4,000.
Then, sir, you, at least, think her
not ugly; she has many accomplishments,
speaks italian and French, plays upon the
guitar; and as fear you play on no in
strument whatever, think you will be
happy to take her on any terms, for here
finishes the account of the 100000"
Whitefield asked the hand Of young
American lady of her parents, without
troubling to ascertain her incIinations,
and was good enough to let them know
they need not be afraid of offending him
by declining the honor, since he blessed
God ne was free from the passion called
love.
Miss Kenrick, the beautiful heiress eel
ebrated in the ballad of "The Berkshire
Lady's Garland" adopted a singular
method of winning the handsome young
attorney, Benjamin Child, with whom she
had fallen in love at sight. She sent him
an anonymous letter, demanding satisfac-
ton for injuries received. After vainly
puzzling himself to guess whom his
challenger might be, and how he had
offended, Child betoOk himself, duly pro-
vided with a second, to the place of meet
ing, near a pleasant crystal fountain.
There he saw no fierce gallant only a
masked lady, who asked him his business
there. He told it; whereupon his fair
questioner, flashing rapier she carried
for her security, said:
1t is that did invite you;
You shall wed me, or I'll fight you,
Underneath those spreading trees;
Therefore choose from which you pleased
Rather taken aback by such summons
to surrender, Benjamin asked to see his
challenger's face ere he decided. This
was denied; she would not unmask until
the knot was tied, but generously accord
ed him an hours grace to turn the matter
in his mind. His friend advised him, as
he could lose nothing, to take the lady;
| and the three went off in her gilded coach
to church, were the lady gay and her at
tOrney were made one without delay
Though sweet, pretty Cupds hover'd
Round her eyes, her face was cOverd
With mask-he took her thus,
just for better or for worse.
He did not repent the leap in the dark
when he found his summer mornings adj
venture had brought "beauty, honor,
riches, store;" but, taking his place among
the gentry of the country, lived happy
ever afterward. The hero of this ro-
nance was, in TIA, High Sheriff of Berk-
| shire.
| Not IL such warlike fashion did Mar
| garct Charlton attack Richard Baxter.
! She sought to attain the end by negotia-
| ton; and never was bachelor of forty
| five more astonished than that worthy
| minister when Margaret's ambassadors
| opened her mind to him. He was des-
| tined to an additional shock. While he
was vehemently declaring the idea pre-
| posterous, Margaret was listening at the
| study door, and, losing all selfcontrOl,
| burst into the room, threw herself at her
| idols feet, crying, "Dear Mr.. Bax-
| ter, protest with a sincere heart that
| | do not make a tender of myself to you
| upon any worldly or carnal account; but
| to have a more perfect converse with so
| holy and prudent a yoke-fellow to assist
me on nv way to heaven, and to keep me
| steadfast in my perseverance which de
! sign to Gods glory and my souls good!"
| Margaret Charlton was very pretty; Bax-
| ter was mortal and succumbed.
| 1t were hardly fair to reckon pretty
| Elizabeth Simpson among proposing
| ladies, although answering Mr.. Inch