The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-02-18
Gossip and Gleanings.

Ildii DlO n second MONDAY IN each month. Dellv-
cry Of books, to 6, to 9. day and evening.
Gossip and Gleanings.
Love all, trust few and wrong no one.
Show may be easily purchased; but happi-
ness is Eome made article.
Never scare off fly with club when a
feather will do as well.
Either throw plenty of ashes on your side
walks, or cease to despise fallen brother.
Mrs. Smith says her husband is like a
tallow candle, because he always will smoke
when he is going out.
An Old Colony young lady declines frosted
cake, because she thinks it might give her a
cold
The Persians say of noisy, unreasonable
talk: 6 1 hear the sound of the milestone, but
see no meal'
In pocket-picking, as in everything else,
a man never succeeds until he gets his hand
in.
Have you much fish in your bag?' asked
a person OF fisherman returning home
Eyes; good EEL" was the slippery reply.
II have lost lesh," said topper to his com.
panisn. ''No great loss," replied the other,
since you have made it up in spirlts''
John Reeve said to his boy, when shaving
proved difficulty: "John. wish you would
not open any more oysters with my razors."
Two boys-"My father is in the Custom
House." Mines in the station" .sMy ia
ther can keep on stealing, and yonr's can't
"a boy in Quincy, ILL.,, has discovered by
personal experiment that the problem Of rap
id transit may be solved by tackling mule
with stick.''
A French editor was wayfaid one evening
and stabbed in the back with poinard oy
lady whose poems he had criticised severely.
All reviewers should take warning.
An English paper, announcing the OPEN
ing OF new cemetery, says, ''Mr. Jones had
thepleasure Of being the irstindividual buried
there"
1t really requires more delicacy OF touch, a
better acquaintance with the inner emotions
OF the heart, and a grander pathos of senti-
ment, to make declaration of love than it
does to put up stove.
Cleaning silver by the use of soap destroys
the lustre of the ware and makes it look like
pewter. Soap should never be used on silver.
The best method to clean it is to rub it hard
with soft leather, using little whiting.
What relation is loaf of bread to a loco
motive9 You'll never guess it. Bread is
necessity, a locomotive is an invention.
Now as necessity is the mother of invention,
the maternal relation of loaf to locomo-
tive will be seen at once.
at a concert, celebrated violinist was per-
forming solo on one string, when fellow
in the audience was heard to say; "Well,
10, if the times are so hard that fellow can't
buy but one string to his fiddle, it's time
somebody passed round the hatr'
Says the Milwaukee Sentinel: eau old Mil
waukee hummer, when he read in yester-
days Sentinel that the women in Ohio are
emptying barrels of whiskey into the cutters,
pathetically exclaimed, What happiness to
be an Ohio gutter"
Daniel Webster once said to an aspiring,
but modest young lawyer, who expressed his
apprehension that the profession was over
crowded, "My young freud, there is always
plenty of room at the top'-a wise observa-
ton, which applies to all professions and all
sorts of business.
A young lady in Indiana sought to demol-
ish an uniaithful lover by publishing some
verses addiessed to him, in which, after
prophesying her immediate dissolution, she
said, 'Come gaze upon my dust, false one. ,
But the compositor spelled dust with b.
An artist who painted portrait for a gen.
teman noted for his frequent libations invit-
ed the gentleman's s friends to see it. One of
them, who was rather near-sighted, approach
ed it too closely, and the artist, in alarm eN-
claimed: "Don't touch it, it amt dry No
use looking at it, then," replied the OLD gen.