Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-07-29

|
The Portuguese can now enjoy
Evangeline" in their own tongue
CH1oANERY-To palm off old hen as
fricasseed chicken.
They think nothing of the country
woman in Georgia who does not kill her
fifty snakes a week.
WHO is the LATEST man? The furni-
ture dealer; he keeps chairs and lounges
about all the time.
The late Chief-Justice Chase, in one
Of his letters, speaks of a persons ap-
pearance as being can assault and bat
terry upon physiognomy."
A SMALL child, on hearing superin-
tendent in the midst of long address,
ask, CHOW, what shall I say?" re-
sponded with, "Please say amen"
GOULD, the sculptor, has been en-
gagged on q statue OF the Ghost in
" Hamlet This will give Healy
chance to remark, calais, poor ghost! p
How long will my chop be, waiter 90
angily asks a hungry man in restau-
rant. "About five inches, sir, was the
accurate reply.
A KANSAS girl wouldn't be married
without a yellow ribbon around her
waist, and boy rode three miles to get
it while the guests waited.
The latest joke about "Tupper,s
Proyerbial Philosophy " is that it has
been dramaticized by Mr.. Dion Bouci-
cault for London theatre.
A MAN in Washington County, Tennes-
see, has COW which has given by accu-
rate weight 2,O40! pounds of milk in
thirty days. She is al Ayrshire breed,
and the smallest amount given in day
was 81 pounds. =.
A JOHN BULL who had been intro
duced to the Emperor of Russia kept
pacing steamers deck, exclaiming,
"The Gar is great the Gar is
great p eyes" said bystander, "but
God is greater cob, to be sure,'
was Bulls reply; "but then, you know,
the Gar is young yet.
A DRUNKARD meets a beggar, who
presents pitfully his claim to charity:
"Ah, sir, give me something; [ an
dying with hunger!" "Humph!" re-
torts the drunkard; "hunger that's
nothing no consequence But the
thirst, you see, the thirst that is some
thing !"
A SUFFERING broker in New York
lately asked another, who had bald
pate, why his head was like h-hash in
a b-boarding house. The Disguised
friend, on admitting that he didn't
know, was informed that twas because
th-there's h-hair h-h- here and TIL there.
A FRESH cargo Of antiquities from
Ephesus has arrived at the British
Museum. Among them are a lions
head from the cornice of the last tenn
pie; two lions heads, more ancient,
from former temples boar's head;
more fragments Of the archaic frieze;
large fragment of one Of the large ac-
roteria from one Of the pediments one
OF two more fragments of sculptured
drums and columns, and other objects.
LITTLE BILLY was very cross and
tired the other night, and he wanted
his father to take him on his knee but
father was tired, or pretended to be.
"I want you to hold me on your knee"
he whined
81 tell you I cannot do u; I am
tired" replied his father, impatiently.
"Tired! You wasn't very tired last
night when you held Mary on your knee
in the Kitchen"
A CERTAIN GO Uncle James of our ac-
quaintance, whose execution is not
quite equal to his preference for the
violin, was paid delicate left-handed
compliment the other night by his little
neice, who, on being awakened some
time in the small hours of the night by
the hideous performances of two felines
under the window, naively remarked
Mamma don't like to hear Uncle
James play on a violin. Providence
Press.
| FASHIONABLE milliner:- you'll have
the flower on the left side of the bon
net, of course, MADAME" Fashionable
lady =" Well-er-No! The fact is,
there's pillar on the left side of our
pew in church, so that only the right
side of my head is seen by the congre-
cation. Of course, we could change
our pew" Fashionable lady's hus-
band. eyes. Or even the church,
you know, if necessary. Fashion-
able milliner considers the point. y
Punch.
Recently there was caught in Board
man River, some three or four miles
from Grand Traverse Mich, a brook
trout which measured twenty five inches
in length, and thirteen inches in cir
conference, and weighed five and
half pounds ! We have seen it, handled
it, and measured it, and there is no mis-
take about it. Now if anybody can tell
bigger story than this and yet tell
true one, let him speak out. So far as
we know this is the largest trout ever
caught In this region, or anywhere else.
| A CORRESPONDENT writes as follows of
a celebrated place in Colorado canon,
called Echo Park: "When gun is
discharged total silence follows the re-
port for moment then, with startling
suddenness, the echo is heard, SEEM
mgly at a great distance-say five miles
to the south-whence it comes back IN
separate distinct reverberations, as If
leaping from glen to glen. Louder and
quicker grows the sound, until appar--
emily directly opposite, when full
l Il