National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-02-05
HUN0RO US PARAGRAPHS

Old Uncle Jacob r. was known by his drDll
way In telling big yarns. One day, when. be
was in the tavern at Toad Hollow, several
loungeFs present were telling stories, when
something reminded Uncle Jake Of one Of his
unreasonable yarns. He said: Zone day, in
June, he was grading out In the meadow, busy
- bee, when he happened to look up and
saw Q big buck standing in three or four feet of
snow. he went for that buck and eut his
throat, and had no trouble In doing it!'" Just
then one of the boys said to Jake, II thought
you were cradling!" Jake saw that he was
wasl But you must remember that vas part
Of two stories"
A Des Moines druggist sent biz clerk out to
drum Tor sales of oils. He called on trades
man and tossed card upon tho counter, cay
ing that he represented that establishment.
The brakeman picked Il up, gave II . steady
look, and said Il was fne establishment, and
was informed BY the clerk that he had repre-
sented II about three years. whereupon he re-
narted to the youth that be scpposed be would
soon Be . partner. The youth said he would
Be pleased to sell him some coal oil, and that
his establishment handled more oil than any
other im Des MolneS. The tradesman took an
other look Ct the card, and asked the boy n he
wasn't mistaken. He blushingly guesse8 be
was, - he returned his girls picture 70 his
pocket s1af- -ezs
Young men who sit up late on Saturday
nights playing cards, and who 60 to church
next morning With . ''fnu deck" in their peck
cts, saoela 8 careful % .hss. sssiz being e Be-
went 70 the BapGils meeting In Circlevnls, and
took biz seat VIII hjs sweetheart In the front
psw n the fa1leEJ, he had occasion to,sse his
haNdkgfchief, and, drawing Il rather sUddenly
MIN Tie hgeost pocket, drew with 4 the eptire
Epeek o. sCoAe9's hest linen, vhich new about
below. Tho good minister "say" r and,
knowiHg Vhsssof h spoks, simply observed;
+1o1ng man yuur psalm-book has been poorly
boundr Thai seesaed 70 b the pssyslsas i'm
"kbe Rick" says aAfter sevril years NJ re-
1sekt9n, ! have conc 70 TIE koukiussoa that
~ z, thsSe Iel 9Hkult shiss y ms s.sy, lsss,
e as y. y Ne Am ss; Y :. s ssss s
Fsf "a fekf Nilkoa eetttn' n.d; =, Bditin'
. nsWspaSes.y, sss-s - :ssr. ..ss-sssass
!, II naaasinn preaeher, assuming q drszistie
'aEfksie, ezclsined IN . ssartllsg, sgnalzing
TO-, What e that go thereof Hsle III
lie woman p black esied out In shri1 treble
u, sslts nctAtng hut my little hlDek ~; b
Weot Ne nobody. sai-
4 An IsiaAnaawas lbund drunk, y = A1nds,
S sesa|s.s B. Is ) ~ q aaS.s ~. :
cown ne ye've GOT, Bsddy dai3lssi Have "a
soms more eaxrysane, or ny futs unl eesssp
Street Afsb-ssBo1 o matches, slrs evell-
MoEdpar snnam etrsst Afzb-Day box.
rn teach yo1F'
. n in1nutyjes q the cplnty - hAangR
u he1lG pan14zed. A PennsyiyaniA unnnfhs-
TURIN, el1ab'sAnent has begun dlsskAEying
- 1oe 49, k1sehcpds. -.
+ syanhlls - - 60, xhs psspsssa ehyy
o epk ~ ayultssAlp,; = ~ 49, - ~ tke
hhnaef ~, ~ 49, nssAi eeffls,ssh ~
i9-si, AN - - ssii 80 ssis so SIX
ATsre Hsats nan, ~ - IesatsJisg 10
tiake hath ends yaest, \ llyi q - ehssae
sa4ssssp scsls s.: "a : . vs. ssh ssi "a
"You cont do that asain!" ~ sAtft -
Tie boy who cut his tail or.