The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-07-25

cred at ltlce POlnt, near Dulutn.
AS rule, the rates for board every
where are lower this year than last.
BRITISH house painters harden their
hands by washing in oak bark water.
TIE submarine cable between Con-
stantinople and Odessa has been laid
WoMANs glory is in her hair, but it is
good plan to tic it up when cooking.
A VEIN of coal twenty-five inches thick
has been discovered near Louisville,
Kan.
DOES anybody know why there is
more dust inside the horsc-cars than out
side?
THESE are the days in which to ask
favors. Everybody is in a melting
mood
THE work Of arching the Hoosac tun-
mel is we'll under way and progressing
finely.
THEY sell land in the region of Lake
George, not by the acre but by the
island
ETHAN ALLEN, the famous trotting
stallion, was sold recently in Kansas for
$4,000.
WHEN man parts his hair in the mid
die the crease is very apt to strike into
the brain.
A WOMAN at Lowell, Mass, who weighs
301 pounds is running the hack business
in that place.
A WISCONSIN book-agcnt has been
killed by the kick of horsc-man's most
faithful friend.
AN old business sign in Philadelphia
many years ago read: William Shot and
Jonathan Fell"
IMAGINE how they exist in Florida
without Il daily paper. No wonder ALI
gators are plenty.
JOHN LANE, of Omaha, Ncb., is so tall
that he can seize hold of bar placed
twelve feet high.
BEAUTY and bashfulncss are often
united, yet the lovcliest maiden is adj
mired for her check.
THE Italian Government proposes to
establish a monopoly Of the tobacco-rais-
ing business in Sicily.
Refusal on the part of husband to
push the pcrambulator is to be made
ground for divorce.
QUESTIONABLE persons say Lawng
Br'nch, just as of yorc; fashionable per-
sons say Lung Branch.
A KENTUCKY man was arrested and
fined five dollars for making an unsuc-
ccssful attempt at suicide.
A GOOD way for parents to encourage
cremation is to leave the matches where
the children can get them.
A FAN with watch on one side of the
handle and strong eyc-glass on the
other is the last thing out in Paris.
THE cotton factories of Columbus, Ga,
have taken G, 442 bales of cotton thus
far an increase of 1,742 over last year.
A MAN in Boston, in his hurry to assist
u fainting lady, got a bottle Of mucilage
instead Of camphor and bathed her face
with it.
THE last excuse that young men offe,
to her mother is: "Want to take he,
over to the park and show her the comet,
ma'am"
THE prize poetry in the French Acad-
envy will be awarded in 1875 to the
author of the best piece Of poetry on Liy-
ingstone.
AT last accounts over two thousand
people were distributed among the Thou
sand Isles. That would be two persons
to each isle.
TIE minis Of the United States and
those of England, France and Germany
won't use any but Lake Superior copper
in the manufacture of coin.
A LECTURER aptly demonstrates the
theory that heat generates motion by
pointing to boy who accidentally sat
down on piece Of lighted punk.
THERE is a man in indianapolis who
dcclaims the "Quarrel of Fitz-James
and Roderick Dhu" in such way as to
make the stifest shirt collars wilt
AN Iowa paper predicts that IN five
years every barrel of Western flour will
be sent East in barrels of paper, made
from the straw the wheat grew on.
A DISPATCH from Brownsville, Tex,
reports the first bale Of cotton shipped
TO New Orleans Il few days since from
the rancho of J. Hyncs, at Santa Maria.
A BOILER in the Eagle Iron Works at
Ierre Haute, Ind, exploded the other
day, badly scalding VIM. Fisher, the en-
ginecr. He will probably die of his in
juries.
AT Lebanon, Ind, recently, Eliza J.
Peckham, aged seventy five years, while
engaged in picking cherries, fell from
step ladder, and striking upon her head
was instantly killed
PLEASE, sir" said little girl who
was sweeping a crossing for a living,
you have given me a bad penny"
Never mind, little girl, you may keep
it for your honesty"
"1'D HATE to be in your Shoes" said
woman of the East Side, recently, as she
was quarreling with ncighbor. "You
couldn't get in them," sarcastically re-
marked the neighbor.
The Chicago doctors are trying with
lambs blood to feed the lambent flame
OF LIE in consumptive patient. Doubt
1ul II they succeed thus in pulling the
wool over the fell destroyer.
LAVE you seen my black-faced ante.
lopez" inquired Mr. Leoscope, who had Il
col!ectlon OF animals, Of his friend Bot
tlc]ack. mo, | haven't. Whom did
your black-faccd aunt elope WITH"
MOUNT RAINIER, in Washington Terri
tory, gives token of being in active vol
canlc eruption. Immense volumes of
dense, black smoke were seen issuing
from the side of the mountain rccently.
AN orator who had raised his audience
10 q great height by his lofty roarings
EXCLAIMED: VI will now close in the beau
tltul language of the poet-I forget his
name-and-and-l forget what he said.
too" :'
A POLITICIAN, wishing to compliment a
well-to-do farmer, said: "You must have
begun life early to accumulate such an
estate as this" eyes, replied the
farmer, II began life when I was mere
baby" ''
DEAR me, how f1uidly he talks" said
Mrs. Darlington, recently, at a temper-
ance MEETING ct or, .o1.. :,