National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-08-24
MOTHER GoOSEs 4ODERN MEL
ODY.
A BIRD's-EYE VIEW OF THEoDoREs
LIE

LIFE.
When he was little boy he lived By himself,
and notwithstanding his gentle and mild blue
optical orbs and sandy tresses, which noated
about HIS nlabnster and mole1spotted neck, giving
unmistakable evidence Of q generous, liberal and
comprehensive soul, he took great and, 1t might
consclentiously DO said, misery precaution, to
stow away all OF tho staff Of physical life and
curd Of coagulated and pressed essence Of cows
Juice upon the dusky shelf Of his humble home
for safe keeping and wet days. But in this the
hopes Of his boyhood wore blasted by tho disas-
trous Incursions Of the rodent mammals which
belong to the Hell-knoWn species Of the genus
Miss, in company with specimens Of the same
genus diminutiVe IN stature and Of less capacity
for breadstuffs. These quadrupeds led him such
an uneasy and troublesome life that he took the
responsibility Of rosn!ng around In the sparkling
market, which may be found In Whatsoever place
men and women do congregate, for the purpose
Of selecting IRON the various and multitudtnOuS
mass some fair face, with the feminine gender At
tached, who might be willing to share his humble
uHaSq sfhoro, and keep his provisions from spoil
Ing, Through thO rSvsnSus onslaught Of thA four
footed plaques Of the Mia kind.
CHAP. II.
The streets through which he was compelled %
Wend his way we're Of such magnificent distances,
and the lanes were so hampered and scrimped by
the approximation Of the hRbitatious Of Adams
fallen seed, and the female whom he had chosen
among ten thousand blOssomed out with 80 much
spiritual and physical beauty that he was obliged
to secure the services Of some other fellows 60
cart OF the WheelbarroW persuasion to convey her
home in, lest in the confusion and hustle Of the
busy commercial marts some Beecher Of o back
WoOdsmEn or shrewd kidnapper would steal his
prize away, and thus again leave him at the mercy
Of ths ardent mammals that infected the major
portion Of his quiet domicl. He got along Is we'll
tured and supremely an elis bundle Of Assh aud
blood which only required pair OF papflJo-naoo-
Gus appehdaSes to have been an Angel IN good
| Standing and OF considerable prominence. ThSSS
extremsly beautiful spiritual natures sometimes
pan out unfortunately, however and by some
Us yet Unexplained and doubtful mystsry, that
| teal glands, as we'll as the oyeniTsd seed
| of the plant tIiticum didn't receive as
much attention from the heavenly cren-
circumstances. And right here It must be re-
marked, gentle reader, that the Wheel-baFJoU
didn't collapse and spill rs PTSci0n, 6nIssn on
Ing TO the we'll known and popular theory Of that
merry old PHILOSOPHERS, Mother Goose. There
row aid break down lust as she says 1t did, and il
Is hadn't We wouldn't be the man to ruin the
reputation for feracity Of such woman as she,
merely because she made mans bsrrsE break
down In poetry, when in reality the barrow was
nothing moro nor less than tHo-eent springiess
hRnd-cart, the same having been recently estab-
hEhed at meeting OF the historical society In
Paris.
Time rolled on, as you know time will, andSIt
came to pass that Theodore neglected TO grease
tentiTs head Of family should. Ga The e9nsfaTy
Ing few other hoE-SeGdsd pieces d GALES af61nd
os IA s bTssd sa Sh ssS s10 h
ing fof two years before hsfound Il out aud that's
what's the matter With hip. But Ehsh he aid
mad shunSsts ~ and S
ming riding Q hurricane bareback could not hsve
presented more terrible and sublime picture Of
had beeh spollIhg that bread and cheese fol him.
But Theodore Is shreWd bluq-sysd boy, and be
mSG. Up HIi % EI5S e e sEsp Z. Z: DEAD
posed had rsllsysd him q his hsrd;eaIna store:
n s R ssHSf Is Fos TG 2Ssf
TAP Sof f6S sSsti, Az pa having tssaicisnt con.
fidsnee IN hts own TstchfGlneSs, be got mutual
friend" z help him; They Reited 4 with the
seen the breadstuHs taken SUsy, and yet, not sst-
ished with the opportunities offered 70 stop the
incursIOps, they hssitated to work the ketch. on
bic temptations upon It. The9 threw everything
| in the way that might succeed In deeoy1ng the
S.: No. Taf tP5t sT Crop
iP4Ss kna then they nsS Rnd Ti So 'IsSd'P III
unphantly lntil gEsst many curious people be-
came interested and vented TO know al about IT,
This had the effect OF securing commltlss Of
sage men, who we're Instructed 10 see what there
was In It.
While the committee Of sage men were examin-
ing the trap Theodore m9rtRsged his wiie's house
| for large amount, and, Keeping the amount,
thoughtfully gave bis wife me nortEAEsd prop
| Is she would have 10 take care q the children.
This was generous, bet then It's Just like Theo-
dOre, you know, and didn't appear to surprise
anybody.
The examination Of that trap was peeessarily
slow, owing 70 the sttango actions Of Theodore
that she had seen the rSI often, and that The mis-
| chisyous creature had made sad havoc With Thee
dore's bread and cheeSei and then fhange came
M t tSi T isa Shs a'T M Sss1s
thought It was the bett ching Ghe could 90, and
that Ihe didn't feel very Wsii say hQyI which was
som. very dSmssnE things tie rat Sus Re
got up the pext morning ahd tod thS iommittoe
some g:Ty funny Ri9EI tSss s stsS WITH hs
fool Of the lunatie persuasion.
,sy SSGut n Satt sSss RS q ,S @asas
sithsT not rst q sii Il the tTapv q sSsi Ss 9 q
there through ths konntyaaes rad HilurensAn 3.
ne gyss1 z S9I AsSfSSfs wss9sSs t:1SU
mitteO are sfpsOted fspqr 70 TIL. StSOl Z;
S sad I SSSP sZ az, q IIo:s hS q B.
the press should have been silent 10 long on the
subject.
/ Ifyou have any bread and cheese lying around
loose in any Of the private apartments OF your
yoas 6aa STsoa Gf S. GS anS Ss S hss
ss' s sSn1 a IN fI s. SsTs e T g
sS BSSat asTS SSf = f S. asi &
ERS sh:g Pre- a H nS s.a Et Sni n en-:
LOST Whia IhO PtOtsrSd inSS has not been taken.