Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1874-03-25
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
ONE of the recent converts at Bald
winsville was requested to confess
Christ publicly and ask for prayers.
Intending to express the thought that
prayer would be useless unless he
prayed for himself. he said, Gas to
prayers, [ think every man should pad
die his own canoe"
RECToR's daughter Ito Sunday schol-
arr" Oh, you have an elder brother :;
well, how old is he % School boy
" Dunno, miss, but he's just started
o'swearing."
IT is stated that the heart of man
weighs about nine ounces, that of
woman about eight. AS the age in
creases, mans heart grows heavier
and woman's lighter some girls lose
theirs at 16.
A YOUNG man, who labored on a farm
taking care of cattle, was awakened in
a revival meeting and asked the prayers
OF the church, remarking that his heart
was as hard as the bottom of an old
haystack a
A LITTLE girl asked minister, g DO
you think my father will go to heaven ?"
Why, yes, my child Why do you
ask %" 'sWen, because if he don't have
his own way there, he won't stay long,
I was thinking"
g How ARD it is to be Christian
sold1er-and not get caught at it," is
the way the St. Louis Times parts it's
jokes In the middle.
IF a naughty girl should hurt you,
Like good girl you would forgive her,
wouldn't you % eyes, marin" she re-
piled. eff couldn't catch her."
For pure grit and long continued
patience you want to go to Toledo. A
young lady in that town has sent 146
pieces of poetry to a newspaper and
though all have been rejected she is
struggling with another.
TEACHER to little boutwell,, nv
boy, do you know your tables %
Pupil" Yes, ma'am Breakfast ia
BILE, dinner table and supper table. The
boy goes to the head of the holiday
class.
So YOU are taking lessons in drawing,
Sallie % q Yes, and the teacher says [
am an apt pupil, as [ draw more infer
ences, lns1nuations, admirers and al
lowance than any girl in the academy.
WE'LL, neighbor, what is the most
Christian news this morning? ?" said
gentleman to a friend. CT have lust
bought barrel of -four for a poor wo-
man." ''Just like you! Who is it you
have made happy by your charity this
time % My wife.
A POET who understands life as well
as letters, has made to bride the pres
ent of broom with this pathetic SEN
timent ::
| This tri1ing gift accept of me,
It's use I would commend
| In sunshine use the bushy part
In storms, the other end
ONE Of the chubby class offour-year-
old Sunday school scholars, when talked
to by his teacher about the sins and
frailties Of the body, was asked, "Well,
my son, what have you besides this sin
full body?' Quick as thought the little
fellow responded : A clean shirt and
nice new pair of breeches.'
A GREY hair was espied by a lady
among the raven locks of fair friend
of hers few days ago. "Oh, pray
pull it out" she exclaimed. "IfI pull
it out ten will come to the funeral"
replied the lady who made the discov-
cry. "Pluck it out nevertheless" said
the dark-haired damsel cit is of no
sort Of consequence how many come to
the funeral, provided they all come in
black"
A WESTERN paper has the following
funeral notice: {" A long funeral cor
tege wended it's solemn way to the GEN.
etery yesterday The deceased was a
man who neglected to buy a nice warm
suit of underwear at the Emporium
Bazaar. Be wise in time. The store is
crowded with lovely ladies, and the
spruce clerks are hopping round like
flea on hot griddle. Call before it is
too late "
A FINE distinction was that the
preacher of the Richmond First Baptist
Church made /: My brudders," said
he, "when you was all slaves dar might
ha' been sense for cuttin' a slice off de
masr's bacon, Or hookin' a handful O.
corn meal, Or Robin de hen roost for
you all work hard, den, my brudders,
and you earn it, my brudders and sis
tiers. But now you is all free men dar
ain no ,scuse whatever you's all on
yer own 'sponsibility."
A KIND lady in Danbury recently gave
a beggar half a dozen paper collars,
with the advice to turn them and chalk
the edges.
HE following is the latest obituary
ts. Here lies inferred Priscilla Bird.
Who sang on earth till sixty-two,.
Now, up on high, above the sky,
No doubt she sings like sixty, too.
Another victim of the Ohio whisky
war
They have ruined me utterly Mary;
All the day do nothing but prowl.
And sit up half the night, dearest Mary,
In my desolate bar-room and howl
Brooklyn Argus
A GENTLEMAN was walking down Mas
sua street behind two English swells.
when he overheard the following con-