The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1874-06-13
HOME MATTERS.
Pepper and salt.

| Last week, in our report %! the council pro
ceedings, We took occasion 10 mention the diff
erent styles OF hats worn hy the city officers.
/ On entering the council chamber to make our
report of that meeting, we were struck with the
many oddly shaped hats, big hats, little hats,
tall hats, short hats felt hats, slouchcd hats, br-
gand hats and shining silk hats; and so We noted
some OF them. We called the Mayors hat a
"sheeny plug" He good naturedly denies it.
He says the recent and frequent rains have taken
all the Sho1a out. We mentioned that of the
Clerk as "silk stove pipe" He mildly wants
to know whether we consider him stove, and
moreover swears he is not wealthy enough to
wear silk plug We alluded to the Mar
shal's hat as chapeda. He says he thinks other
wise. Only Frenchman wears ciapea1t. We
omitted to mention the head kiver" of the
Health Officer, as well as the turban Of the City
Engineer. They are not mad about il, but sim
ply worried. And lastly we did mention the bri.
gand slouch of the Street Boss. Gc-racious
heavings, how mad lie got, He came past our
shed on Sunday morning last, ON the opposite
side of the street, brandishing his arms and fists
in the widest manner. He used language of the
fercest kind We could not imagine the cause
of his sudden attack Of worms. He swore at us.
He yelled at Us, He denounced us. He seemed
TO look at us in the light OF badly conditioned
street He manifested desire TO grade us, pave
US, macadamize us, put cutters on either side Of
us, build crossings over US and run sewer
through us, and all this was to be done a: the
very first time he could catch US on the street.
and all about an old slouch hat worth - cents.
Any able bodied young man who wants to act as
local Of this paper until The Street Boss cOols
off will be literally rewarded. Wallace Stahl
under the Opera House during the heated term
will get NJ new drink called the CRUSADERS
Last Chance" Its chief ingredient is--water,
with or without a match in it. Three drinks OF
it will set fellow to bowling for wOman's rights.
IA wOmau's right-some man to love; Il wo-
man lelt-an old maid We mol! grudge
against Geo. RoutclifT. He recently threatened
to og to England TO be gone four months. He
packed up carpet-sack to the last degree be-
fore bursting. Then, after putting on clean
collar, he said good bye" 70 all his friends and
left while tears as large as pumkins rolled down
his cheeks He went 10 Marseilles; renamed
three days, during which time his carpet-sack
seems to have been gobbled for board, and now
he is at home and looks rs innocent as roast Of
spring lamb garnshcd with peas. That's what
sort of a potato bug he is. There is fearful
loss of life among the feathercd tribe and pigs
and stitch along the railroad track Of the Z. s. ~
O. railroad, on the west side. On Wednesday a
freight train suddenly transformed live hog in
to a very inferior article Of undrcssed pork, and
/ ne. 4. Z !, lab
of geese and goslings. One juvenile goose was
bcheaded and another was deprived OF limb;
and the women Of the neighborhood, in view of
these calamities, are aboutto hold an indignation
meeting. An impression seems to have gone
abroad that we, BaymoaS, are German, conSe-
quently Williamson & Kellogg, the cigar deal
ers, asked Us to write something in DeutSch
about their pet cigar. After some deliberaton
during which we pulled most Of our hair out Of
our head in searching for ideas, We got up those,
Der Leetel Granger vas
Der schmoker man his triumph
And der poor man Lis frinde, and der bestcst
cigar in desc settlement.
Mine schweetheart, her Kiss
Makes me Jolly with bliss,
But know what is nicer and stranger;
OF your mind wish to roam
in der great star lit dome,
Yust schmoke once der gay lec.Ae granger.
You may pass happy hours,
Dream Of lofe, birds und flowers;
And your mind DER creation
May range, Sir
II viii give schweet rcpose,
Und nice smells by your nose,
OF you schmoke dot gay
Leetel Granger.
which was constructed exclusively by William.
son Il Kellogg, number nine and thrcizig $50, OF
tawa, III,