The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-08-23
A BRIGHT OUTLOOK.
-"Ma, / want some soda water"
SOME SODA STATISTICS.

something in it.
Suggestion made by young man Of the
period on the morning succeeding night
devoted to interviews with one or more man
or men,
'.Ice cream? No, madam. The present
condition of my business will not justify me
IN taking your mothcr-in-law and the chill
dren out for ice cream. Besides, the cakes
count up, No. But I'll take all of you out
for soda water"
Brutal remark Of unfeeling husband, who,
delighted with the indignant rejection his
proffered compromise, HES him elsewhere to
pass ths evening smoking fifteen cents cigars
and imbibing fifteen cents beverages
The quotations gracins this article, or, "a
thor, introducing its many profound truths to
the public attention will, it is believed, attest
the wisdom exhibited by the BULLETIN in
giving 10 the world an elaborate description
of the soda water business as it is now being
conducted IN New Orleans 1t will be OBJ
served that the style sought to be initiated by
the writer adheres as closely as may be to
that school Of erudite and profound pubG.ists
whose most distinguished ornament in this
city is The gifted being having charge OF the
statistical articles which, on sem-wcekly oc
casions, appear in the columns Of the New
Orleans Times. The well-nigh superhuman
efforts put forth by this remarkable statistician
in the compilation Of his last, great and incom-
parable production on "a Glorious Outlook -
has proven too much for even his gigantic
brain and fearing that the consequent illness
Of the author Of that truly beautiful and ex-
hiliarating production might prevent the
eight or nine millions of persons reading the
Times from having their usual pabulum, the
BULLETIN has spared no expense or exertion
to supply the aching void by an article on the
soda water traffic, which, it is hoped, may APP
proxirnate in clearness Of st tement, in vigor
of description and relevancy to the subject
that have made the statistical articles OF the
Times a name that will exist in literary and
Journalistic circles so long as topograph cal
engineers shall refer to the .sIap of the Over
flowed Districts with which the Picoy,.ne Cat
an enormous financial outlay delighted its
seventeen millions of subscribers.
Canal street was crowded. female beauty
gorgeous in new attire and comfortable in as
many articles Of clothing as could be carried
pranced on the sidewalk and halted only to
gaze upon a youth, who, clad in humble gar
ments, strobe with a stately step. deigning
not to return the glance of the many sloe-like
(prose adaptation from modern poets) orbs
looking askance at him. But ever and anon
the youth would pause and gracefully remov-
ing hat (of the antiqne and peculiar fashion
initiated by the late Mr. Greeley from off his
nobly shaped head, around which clustered
curling locks of the raven hue, would mutter
to himself
knowledge is power! Would that I had
the wisdom of the grain merchants friend
Woe is me-"
These occasional halts and not infrequent
ordinations naturally enough excited the
curiosity of one of the body guard Of this
city Tor the de tacto State Executive), who
was about to PROFOUND to the pedestrian some
leading questions touching the number Of
times he had recently fabricated his mucus
membrane, when, quickening his pace, the
enactor Of the "little games hereinbefore
rected rushed madly on, until he reached an
establishment where soda water and cakes
likewise iced tea, can be had ''for and in con
Sideration." .5.
IN. Breeder, this young man, whose
appearance has not been fully described to
you, because of that modesty which is at
once the attribute, the pride and the leading
feature Of his profession, was no other than
mysef)
In front of the counter was motley group
all eager for soda, which with some was di-
versified with the mastication Of cake, which
proceeded slowly because of the respect due
to age. The proprietor of the place, having
been told thata journalist desired to interview
him. advanced to the writer, and asking if the
latter wanted to see him, WAS Immediately
greeted with the following
Il desire, sir as commissioner represent |
ing the journal havi the very largest circu-
lation in the Southwestern portion Of the
known globe to elicit from You facts in re
gard to the rise, progress and present condi- |
tion Of the soda water business, its bearings |
upon the moral, social, political and financial
status, not only of the people here, but those
who have never heard of this magnificent
enterprise.
All, it's from the Times, We are, sir ?" re-
sponded the host before the abashed writer
could utter word. It's beautiful language |
We Times gintlemen are all afther spakin'. |
heard yes was coming, and have been getting
ready for yes. Soda, sir, the oxide OF sodium
tNaO), chemical equivalent 81, specific gray
ity .. sos. 1t combines do We see, much acid
with great energy, though its atfinities are
somewhat walker than those of potash
But my dear SIR observed the recipient
of all this lore, .'you err, am from the Bull
LErIN; have only faint comprehension of
what you have so kindly told me-
'And is it from the BULLETIN yes are? If
ye'd "a told me that at flst would have been
after spakin English to We instead of telling
you all the stuff my old woman got out OF a
book last night"
Drinking the health of his informant in
soda of the latter's manufacture, the writer