The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-21
SosEsc Fun.


hilLAb VI 4lht'
On the morning of the Sd OF + bruary,
the people Of Conshohocken who went past
Mr. Muiiier's home, saw him out in the front
yard raising the American flag on the flag
pole. Then he put pack of fire crackers
in barrel, and when they had exploded,
Muiiier fired his doublc-barreled gun two or
three times; then he cmpticl his revolver,
and, taking off his hat, gave three cheers
Then he set of more fire crackers, fired
three or four more salu,es, and gave some
additional cheers. BY this time a vast
crowd had assembled and his operations
were witnessed with Amusement not only
By the outsiders but by the Muffier family,
who were gathered at the front windows.
Mrs Muiller thought he was insane and this
opinion was shared by the crowd Finally
policeman was called in, aud that official,
waiting until Muflltr's gun was empty,
lodged into the yard and arrested him.
"What do you meaA by this outrage?"
demanded Mufilor.
"Neyer you mind" said the officer; "you
come aloug now, and goto the asylum"
"Asylum!' shrieked Mufier "What
d'you mean, you scoundrel!'
'Why you're insane, said the policeman,
"and your family want to put you where
you'll do no harm. It's dangerous for
lunatic to carry on the way you've been
dom with them guns and things
"Why you tool, was celebrating Wash
lngtons birthday" said Muier.
That's too thin! Washington's birth
day! guess not-this Is only the third of
February"
II tell you it isn't" said Muficr. "This
mornings paper says it Is Washingtons
birthday. Come in The house and I'll show
il to YOU"
When they got into the house, Mnllier
produced the paper and pointed triumph
antly to an editorial beginning, This is
the birthday of the Immortal Washington"
Then the policeman took look ut the pa
per, and then he laughed 1t was a paper
Of February 22d, 1878. Mrs Mufiler had
taken it out of the closet upon the proceed
ing evening, and Muiier imagined that it
was the paper Of the morning of February
81, 1874. lie will not celebrate the 22d
when it does come. His enthusiasm is
cooler than it was.
TnE IRRErREssIBLB coILAMoRr.
Mr. Collamorc's child was baptized at our
church, the other day, and when he came
to the minister with it, the clergyman said
to him, in low voice;
gin"
"Twins' exclaimed Mr. Gel lamole, who
is as deaf as ever. Twins! gracious! we
haven't got twins. This is the only one. |
assure you "No, no, said the pastor; ~
say we ought to begin"
"Fory twins? don't understand YOU"
said Collamorc. ~ merely want YOU to
baptizc this child, you understand "
81 asked you what was its name,r said
the minister in despair. "What do you
call it,"
"No, SIR it don't Law Bit. It's the
quietest baby you ever see
WHAT -the-name--o f-thc-childY'
asked the Clergyman.
ooh! never mind its dress" said Cola.
more, eve don't mind if it is spilled. Spite
it as much as you choose. The baby don't
mind Il little water"
"What do you call the child? What's its
Nance" shrieked the minister.
mo, we're not going to call her Mary
Jane said Collamore, promptly. "We did
think Of Louisa, but 1 believe Mrs. Cola
more finally settled on Cleopatra"
Thea the clergyman baptized the child
"Cleoptra." And old Collamore, after an
swering the questions in all the wrong
plac S, shufiled down the aisle after the
baby, wondering what on earth the congre-
CATION were laughing at. lie will ruin that
church if he remains in It
SIGNAL FAILURE.
Mr.; Higgins, of Snyder county, is in
trouble. lie was candidate for coroner,
and he thought he might promote his in
terests by getting all the women upon his
sido, so he went around visiting them and