The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1874-10-16
Pith and Point.

A TEA never INDUCED in by gossips-
Charity.
THE hardest thing to deal with-An
old pack of cards.
Ondertaker's motto circumstances
alter burial cases.
BREACH of good manners-For ruin to
stare you in the face.
WHY is screw in tight like a screw
in loose? Because it is insecure,
The coal merchants favorite apho-
rism-One good ton deserves another.
A LITTLE girl said of her ill-tempered
uncle 4" He hasn't got single laugh
in his face"
"SHE dyed for me-" said the young
husband when he beheld her dark locks
gradually returning to their original red.
THE beet has it's admirers, and there
be those who upheld the merits of the
cabbage but all agree that the onion is
a soup herb production.
THE Sturgis, Mich, Journal keeps
the following two items in close prox-
unity to each other: Bustles are the
style again." cold papers for sale at
this Office"
FATHER CHAUCER was sound on
the main question. Witness "What
is better than gold? Jasper. What is
better than jasper? Wisdom. What is
better than wisdom? Woman. What is
better than woman? Nothing"
A SAGINAW poet writes of his native
place
won'st the red Injun here took their delights
Fisht, fit and bled.
Now most of the inhabitants is whites,
With nary red.
A PROMISING youth of nine summers,
in Western Massachusetts,, at school
recently relieved his over-burdened
mind as follows
Lord Of Love. look down from above
Upon us little scholars;
We have a fool to teach our school,
And pay her twenty dollars.
HEARING that his pastor intended to
preach on the recognition of friends in
heaven, parishioner suggested that he
should preach on the recognition of
friends on earth, since he had been sit
ting in his pew twenty years without
being recognized by the occupant of the
next.
She saw him on his bright blue steed
busting down the road,
And pit pat and pit pat
Her little heartfelt COED;
And soft she sobberea to herself,
"Though swift his PAGES be-
He cannot kite so fast but what
My heart keeps up with he."
An exchange, ridiculing the country
fairs, which make no effort at good
shows, says that one in Vermont con-
sisted of a calf, goose, pumpkin, and
a horse. 1t rained SO hard the first
night that the goose swan off, the calf
broke loose and ate the pumpkin, and
thief prowling about mounted the horse,
and drove the calf before him, and SO
ended the fair.
A SAVANNAH paper says &c If pail
of water be placed within six inches of
either side of the stem of pumpkin or
vegetable marrow, it will in the course
of the night approach ii" etc. A still
more extraordinary phenomenon has
been observed in Buffalo. There is q
man in that city who will approach a
barrel of whisky either by day or night,
even if it were placed six feet away from
him.
A STORY is told of San Francisco
woman who was in the habit of receiv-
ing frequent castigations at the hands
of her husband, and who one day read
the Bible story of Samson and Delilah.
When next her consort was prone in
sleep she sheared him SO completely
that every spear of hair disappeared
from face and head. Rousing from his
slumber like giant refreshed, he speed
lily comprehended the situation, and
reached for her. Such caressing as
she then received che never dreamed of
before. She did not even have the usual
grip on him. He was fined, but she
Il.