South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1874-05-29

er day, when asked what part Of the chicken
she would have.
LITTLE Girl. Mamma, don't think the
people who make dolls are very pious people"
Mamma-"Why not my child 20 Little girl
Because you never make them kneel. | al
ways have to lay my doll down on her stomach
TO say her prayers"
How GEORGIA JUDGE CHARGES GRASD JU-
m-According to q correspondent of the Hines
vile Gazette, this is the way Jud &c Johnson talk
ed to the grand jury of Emanuel county "The
stars revove in their spheres in obedience to law
the cattle which browse upon thousand hills
gather their food in obedience to fixed laws-the
flowers, exuding their sweetness to the balmy
zephyrs, bud and bloom in strict obedience to
law. Order, and subjugation to law, resulting
in harmony, are impressed upon all the works Of
our great Creator-were il not so, anarchy, con-
fusion, and chaos would supervene, aud engen-
der untold miseries,. resulting in annihilation
Throughout Gods vast dominion there is but
one OF his creatures that rebels against his laws
and that creature is man. Hence we have met
tsta day TO punish these ufracions. Deliver
ing such sentiments rs these, Governor Johnson's
eyes flashed, his voice Numbered, and his audi
ence were electrified and conyulsed"
"ARr" VS.. LAW. George W. Clark. Of LARGE
renown as Snowman, and of goodly repute as
gentleman, wac giving a deposition in Man
chester, n H., the other day, in the case of Kel-
sey vs. Osborne. James F Briggs, counsel FOR
the plaintiff, did not like the looks of the depo-
siuon from his standpoint, and undertook to
weaken it by belittling the witness Hence lie
began with sneer
"You are in The negro minstrel business,
believer"
Yes, sir, was the reply.
lyon black your face and sing for living,
do you?"
Eyes, sir"
Gwen, don't you call that rather low bust
ness to folow2"
"a don't know but it is, sir but it is so
much better than my father before me that am
rather proud ofit."
why what did your father do ?'
ale was lawyer"
"A man had sign up, "Chcap Ladies shoes
for sale here" he found that not woman en-
tered his store. No wonder--thc ladies don
like to be called cheap-they want to be called
tear. Very natural
The late Dr. Fletcher was presclirg an ava.
ming sermon to crowded audience in Edin
hurgh when a note was handed up TO him 10 in
Innate that Doctor So-and-so was in the church
he was urgently wantel. Having read the note.
and seeing the doctor moving of, he immediate
~ added with great fervor, "And may the Lore
have mercy on his patient
-"Hi where did yez get them trousers p,
asked an Irishmaa of man WHO happened o be
passing with pair Of remarkable short trousers
on. 'I got them where they grew was the in
dignant reply. ''Then, by my conscience. said
Paddy, you've pulled them n year too soon 90
"A clerk in q rural town had pet calf which
he was training up in the ways Of the OK Tie
calf walked around very peacefully under one
end Of the yoke, while the clerk held up the 9th
er end, but in an unfortunate moment the mar
conceived the idea of putting his own neck in the
yoke to let the calf see how it would seem 20
work with partner This frightened Mister
Calf, and eleyating his tail and his voice, he
struck "dead run" for the village, and The
clerk went along with his head down, strnniug
every nerve TO keep up and crying at the top of
his voice, Here we come head as, somebody 80
ole has left void that cannot easily be
Glled," rs the bank director very touchingly re-
marked Of the absconding cashier.
A ST. Paul woman who used to keep three
girls, now does her own work cheerfuly. She
found her husband throwing kisses at them
An experienced old gentleman says that all
that is necessary in the enjoyment Of love or sua-
sages is confidence
John Randolph met personal enemy IN the
street ono day, who refused to give him half the
sidewalk, saying that he never turned out for
rascal. 81 DO, said Randolph, stepping aside
ard politely raising his bat. 'Pa7s on
IF they could only use the cheek" Of Chica-
20 men TO make boots Of, horso-hidc and split
leather would soon take back seats
"A Wyoming paper delicato'y announces that
its charge for marriage notices is Gust wha. The
ees'acy Of The bridegroom may prompt"
10, George your sister is nice girl but
she does her head mp so." "Ycs. saia George
'tut it is fashion there's nothing in f. voa
Know.
90 like you, sighed girl 70 Der -nto-.
"butI can't leave home am q widow only
child-no husband can equal my mother ir kind
ness She is kind, pleaded The woacr. 'rrt