American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1874-01-24
Economical Government, or the Science
of Repairs.


workshop. Enter a messenger, with spob
of carriage-wheel.
Messenger Ito Foreman)-Mr. Savil
tChief Clerk wants this spoke repaire,
Foreman-All right. Single or doub
team?
Messenger-Double,o of course, stupit
Do you suppose the Head Clerks of OF
Department drive their wives or swee
hearts around in one horse draws?
Foreman-Do l look like fools Don
some of 'em have both kinds? and whe
only spoke is sent down, how's fello'
to know which kind they are out of?
Messenger-Oh, l see, your heads leve
Hurry the thing up. It's wanted befor
the holidays, when there's nothing to dc
and plenty of time to splurge around %
the avenue bright afternoons. And thel
their New Years calls, you know.
Foreman-Tell Mr.. Saville well do tn
best we can; but there's a great press 70
repairing just now. We've got pair o
shafts to repair, double team and lynch
pin, single dray; and a set of wheels
landaulet, silk upholstery, TO outshine De
partment of Justice; so, you see, weir,
pressed, but 1 think with the extra force
of temporary clerks just put on in the
blacksmith-shop, we can come in time.
Messenger-Well, I'll tell the boss
you'll be on time for him.
ToIemau NookInS AT tne SpOkeb-
Double, you say; best Spanish goat cush
ions, brown rep upholstery and Innings,
silk curtains, circular glass front, silver
trimmings, monogram on doors? All
right: will be on time.
SCENE 2-Same messenger at sad
dler's, on Seventeenth street.
Messenger-Herei is a buckle that the
Treasury Department wants repaired
Saddler-Can't undertake it for two
months.
Messenger-Two months, The panic
don't seem to have affected your bus
mess.
Saddler-No, indeed, There will be no
panic for us as long as the Treasury re-
serve holds out, but that's got down to
seventeen millions, 1 hear.
Messen ger-That's SO, but l hear 'em
talk up there about getting in enough
more. from taxes before that's gone to
keep things moving lively.
Saddler = But l can't repair your
buckle this time, because you see I've
got a hitch-strap to mend up into double
set for one department, and a girth to re-
pair-single set, gOld-mOunted, you know,
for another, and three sets, one single,
but splendid, and two double, same sort,
for some of the bureaus, and all to be
done by New Year.
Messenger-Who can do it? Some
how, this buckle has got TO be fixed, and,
since everyone else is going to shine out
New Years, my boss shan't look dim by
the side of any one of 'em. Where can
Saddler-There amt place in town
can do it for a month. Every man in the
business has got more mending than he
can possibly do. You see this new-fan-
gled law about unexpended balances
keeps the harness and carriage business
brisk. If they don't spend it all, they
have to turn what's left in; and you
know nothing goes so hard here in Wash
ington as turning anything into the I reas-
ury-turning out is popular enough; and,
by the way, that reminds me, just let me
change that. buckle of yours into this
splendid ready-made double set, and can
send the whole thing up at once
Messenger-But this buckle is silver,
and your set is gold mounted
Saddler-What of that? How long
have you been messenger or a tenn
porary clerk? What use do you suppose
have for the gold buckle 1 am taking
outs Just take this with you, and when
you get the harness and the bill for re-
pairs, why charge it both you see?
Messenger-Surely. Make out your
bill for repairs of harness, and send to
the chief clerk direct Good day, sir.
SCENE "a fashionable tailor's on the
avenue.
Enter driver and footman in livery.
Driver-Here is some cloth and silk
Missus the Secretary sent down, and
won't you please measure me and the
footman here, and repair Missus' two
liveries-long, double breasted, big gold
buttons, broad collar, deep cuffs, lined
with this here blue silk, quilted in, you
know, and Missus says be sure and have
it beat the turnout of the Attorney-Gen-
eral all hollow. And repair us both a
pair of tight breeches, with buttons down
the legs, and Missus says that while you
are at it, just get a couple of cockades for
our hats, and get all this mending done as
soon as you can and before New Years,
without any fail, because we've got to
stand round among the other Secretaries
teams at the Presidents reception.
Tailor-All right. We're mighty hard |
pushed with our repairs-ten SETS as I'm |
alive-but tell Mrs. Secretary we never |
failed her before, and we won't this time |
Those temporary clerks they sent us are |
pretty spry with their needles.
FOOtman-Fix 'em up bully, boss.
Driver-Send your bill up to the Dis
bursting Clerk, and make it out for re-
pairs, do you understand?
Tailor-Of course 1 do. That's the |
usual way. There is precious few of 'em |
has it done any other way.
scene 4-Norfolk Navy Yard Enter |
messenger with small piece of live-oak |
in his hand.
Messenger (saluting Commandant, and |
handing him the block of oak Secretary |
Robson wants this ship repaired.
Commandment Ito marine on guard)-l
Take this lunatic out of the yard
Messenger-Here is a letter from the |
Secretary which forgot.
Commandant eads)-COnfidential
NAVY DEPARTMENT WASHINGTON. d. C.
SIR: The block the messenger will hand you |
II or II It II not, no matter, piece Of the sloOp
of-war Galena- Congress il stingier than ever |
and couldn't get new sloops authorized, but did |
repair six of old sloops and you can fix up
the Galena- Take the piece send and spike il on
somewhere. Make the new shp-when repaired, |
mean-3OO tons and employ lots of men while |
the Congressional election il going on. SO that |
Plat will be sure TO get back. I've got quarter
Maine and New Hampshire al portsmouth
Hooper and Twitchen nj Boston. and so on round |
10 Sargent and his set at San Francisco.
CTO the marine)-Never mind taking |
this man off.
TO an orderly)-Give my compliments |
to the Chief of Construction and Re |
pairs.
Enter Chief Constructor)
Communicable Secretary wants |
this piece of the Galena repaired
Chief Constructor-Aye, aye, sir. Steam
or sails How many tons? Please send
down length of keel, breadth of beam,
and displacement, and I'll tell the fore
man to call all hands and clear out the
yard ready to begin.
Communication seem to understand |
this sort of thing.
Constructor-Aye, aye, sir. When |
makes an appOintmeut he selects