The Donaldsonville chief., 1874-11-07
Laughing Gas.
Bad debts-owing grudges.

TO secure result, lock it up.
Fruitful lip -idents-A chopping
sea.
A fact is worth thousand state
meDts.
A high note-One of thousand
dollars.
Moonlight mechanics is the latest
for burglars.
A man who salts down" his cash
General Penny packer.
The latest Irish fashion is home
rule hat. 1t has no crown.
What is the use of talking Of this
worlds brightness and sunshine to a
.man that has tight boots.
"Darwin's Darlings" is the sur-
gestive name of newly organized
minstrel troupe at the West,
The most bitter critics we have are
those who have failed themselves to
write anything worth reading.
The keeper of a restaurant in New
York announces paroxysymal stews"
as a specially OH his bill Of fare.
The English folks have grown tired
of lending Joaquin Miller money, and
he has got to come home and 90 to
work.
A Memphis policeman thought that
his orders included all cases of drunk
enness, and, therefore, arrested the
Mayor and was discharged.
They have now invented shot guns
which can be carried in the pocket,
and fellow can slide out and 90
hunting Sunday and no one know it.
When two Georgians meet now they
don't go on about the weather, but
merely exchange the novel salutation
"Doyou think Toombs will ever die I"
If you wake up in the night in an
Italian hotel and shoot burglar, the
chances are that you can't see the
landlord next morning and that his
wife is widow.
:" My dear sir" said candidate,
accosting stray wag on the day Of
election, F" am very glad to see you"
You needn't be" replied the wag,
81 have voted"
A lady in menagerie being asked,
why she so closely scanned the ele
phant with her opera glass, replied
that she was Choking for the key
hole Of his trunk
Is that your offspring madam !"
asked Missouri Judge of = woman
who had hold Ut . stub-nosed boys
hand. mo, sir" she replied, this
is my oldest boy"
The Count do Chambord duly no.
tifies his friends to hold themselves
in readiness for any event. The gea-
eFal impression out West is that Cham
bord is going to treat.
The matrimonial market has picked
up so fast since September that one
New Hampshire clergyman has laid
in three barrels Of beans, barrel of
cider and three dried calf-skins.
A Michigan farmer complains that
he is not receiving half the campaign
speeches this year necessary to light
his fires, and he has had to make a
shaving contract with cooper shop.
The belief ia becoming stronger
every day in the East, that if John.
Molrissey should give Harvard or
Yale College $3.50 900 the Lord would
commence nn entire new account with
him.
An inquiring man thrust bis fingers
into horses mouth to see how many
teeth he had. The horse closed his
mouth to see how many fingers tho
man had. The curiosity of each Was
fully satisfied.
An attempt was to have been made
last geek to get up another woman's
crusade in Cleveland, but three or
four Of the leaders were disappointed
about their Fall bonncts, and the az
fair did not come off.
4 horse car conductor of New York
city who for several months past has
been starving on a salary Of 81 25 per
day, expects to break ground for the
erection of q row Of browpstone fronts
in South Brooklyn shortly.
"Don't prevaricate, sir!" thun-
dered Judge Shell, to witness.
"Can't help it Judge" answered the
youth. "Ever since | got a kick
from mule, that knocked my teeth
ont, prevaricate 3 good deal"
Marry fpr love, yauag man, but re,
member that it's as easy to love a
girl whose pa has a hundred thousand
in bank az one whose old man sits m
behind pair Of mules and yells:
"Whoa you Pete, Or I'll take yoaE
ear off"
When Nevadaminer leaps into q
saloon with a revolver in each hand,
and bowie knife under his arm, and
asks, =" Who runs this sole DESTROYING
shebang I" echo is left to answer.
while the crowd fall out of the back
door.
Wives Of candidates for sheriff in
Chicago, complain that their husbands
keep them awake nights talking ia