The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1874-08-15
photographic.
young shayer-a barber,s baby.

payeth that it promiseth.
A high rent-A hole in the crown of
your bad hat.
To abridge conversation, speak but
the truth.
franklin says, "a poor man must
work to find meat for his stomach a rich
one to find stomach for his meat"
"If thou desirest to be held wise,"
says an author, "be wise enough to
bride thy own tongue"
There is no arena in which vanity
displays itself under such variety of
forms as in conversation.
To be deprived of the person we love,
is happiness, in comparison of living
with one we hate.
Men and women ale never more fire.
quently outwitted than when they are
trying to outwt others.
There is man in town so knowing
that people who don't know their own
minds come to him for information on
the subject.
Don You mean to marry, my dear
sir?" mo, my dear widow, I'd rather
lose all the ribs I've got than take ano-
ther."
"1f should die, dear where would
you go?" go? Go after your insur-
ance money, was the reply of fond
wife.
An Irishman was once asked if he
had ever seen q red blackberry. ITO
be sule l Lave" said Pat: "all black
berries are red when they are green"
Augustus Leonard dressed up like
an Indian and descended on the cabin of
Missouri family for fun. They kept
the body in ice three days for his father
to arrive.
The difference between man being
out of temper and out of money is that
when he's out of money he shows the
least Of it, but when he's out of temper
ShoWo buC luOob vi III.
A quaint old gentleman, in speaking
OF the different allotments of men, by
which some become useful citizens, and
others worthless vagrants, by way of
illustration, remarked, $50 one slab of
marble becomes auseful doorstep, while
another becomes lying tombstone
sylvius had three ways of proving
. man fool. He is fool which seeks
that he cannot find, he is a fool who
seeks that which, if found, will do him
more harm than good; he is fool who
having several waysto bring him to his
journeys end, selects the worst one.
Cold prayers are as arrows without
heads, as swords withoutedges, as birds
without wings; they pierce not, they
cut not, they fly notup to heaven. Gold
prayers always freeze before they reach
heaven.
Buy diary or a memorandum. and
keep an account of your receipts and
expenditures for the year. By so doing,
you will learn economy, and save a
great deal more of what you earn.
1t is vain to talk about the equality
of the sexes-they are not equal. The
smile or tear of awoman conquers man.
Motto for indolent housewives
"Never too late to mend"
"Hold your tongue for a fool!' was
the polite Recommendation of an Irish
husband" "Sure, then, you're going
to speak YOURSELF" was the equally
polite reply of the wife.
Times wears slippers of list and his
trade noiseless. The days come soft
ly dawning, one after another; they
creep in at the windows; their fresh
morning air is grateful to the lips as
they pant for it; their music is sweet to
the ears that listen to it; until, before
we know it, a whole life of days has
possession of the citadel, and time has
taken US for its own.
A Justice who lately tried lady in
Cincinnati for cowhding a gentleman,
concluded ss follows: "If man were
to attempt to cowhide me, l would
strike him dead even in the forum, but
II woman were to attack me, Pm id
If know what would do"
"What fine head your boy has, &"
said an admiring friend. EYES," said
the fond father "he's chip of the old
block; amt you, sonny9" II guess so,
daddy, cause teacher said yesSerday !
was a young blockhead.
An Irlshman maintained, in com
papy, that the sun did not make his re-
volution round the earth. "But how
then" said one to him, sis it possible
that having reached the west, where h,
sets, he can be seen to rise in the east
If he did not pass underneath the
globe7" How puzzled ye are" replet
Pat: she returns the same yVay, 10 n IA,