The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1874-02-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

You won't do that again, said the pig
to the boy that cut his tail Off
In pocket picking, as in everything else,
man never succeeds until he gets his
hand in.
A township is laid out al the beginning
OF Its existence, but its inhabitants are laid
out at the end Of theirs.
A man given to hard drinking complain
ed that he had lost flesh. Never mind"
said friend, You have made it up in
spirits"
Where are our forefathers-the Pill
grim Fathers-the heroes Of 76 2" shouted
an orator. Dead, responded a sad
looking man, sitting on the platform.
News is 50 scarce in Minnesota that
paper published there found it necessary
to publish the Ten Commandments, under
an excuse that it was the best news ne
could find.
A philosopher remarks that there is
something peculiarly instructive Ill stand
ing upon street corner III . large city and
watching the men all rushing around try
ing to make money, and the women all
floating around trying to spend IT,
My young friend, wit is a dangerous
gift said dull man tO a sprghtly girl,
who was fond Of a lest. You are III ~
peril from its possession, sir" she retorted.
Within the last three months the Presi-
dent has appointed thirty postmistresses
The consequences might have been antIci-
pated. Twenty of them have noti-
ned their husbands that their services are
no longer required.
What is a more exhiliratinq sight. asks
Vermont paper, than to see eighteen
handsome girls sliding down hill III an
Ox-sled Nineteen answers the Boston
Post
Two little girls we're comparing progress
in the study of their catechisms-'' I've
got to original sin, said one how far
have you got III Me why, lin away
beyond redemption, said the other 1t
which her mother, who happened to hear
the conversation, thought she had gone far
enough.
One wet night in Boston, recently, visit
prs to public hall found man at the en-
trance holding out a ticket check, and
saying, Umbrellas, please" People
gratefully resigned the wet umbrellas to
his custody, but when the entertainment
was over, both man and umbrellas lad dis
appeared.
The Journal Of Chemistry saws that A
chain OF compressed cakes Of gun cotton
ned around the trunk of large tree and
exploded will cut 1t down instantly BY its
violence Of action. The cut through the
trunk is as sharp as that done by the keen
est ak
The heaviest brain ever weighed N this
country was that of Agassiz the philoso-
pher.
John A. Boppe, one Of the wealthest
lager beer brewers in Newark, has ceased
operations. He says that latterly he has
deemed It inconsistent to make fur others
what he knew to be hurtful to himself He
resolved not to sell his business-he want
ed It stopped, and il convinced that mtem-
perance Is the great curse OF the world
An OswegO woman advertises that she
has purchased shot gun end will shoot
any man who gives her husband liquor.
The latest freak of New York upper ten
ladies Is riding club, which meets i'll an
amphItheater, rides around the ring u the
music Of brass band, and looks like an
amateur circus
Some Of the Cleveland temperance WI
men are getting praying costumes" made.
They will not 70 on a raid unless properly
uniformed