The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1874-05-14
Sense and Nonsense.

EpITAPH for a cannibal-" One who.
loved his fellow-man."
WHEN is match frivolous? When 1t
makes light Of things
The little girl who saw catamount
was looking at puss on post.
EMERSON says: " We do not count a
mans years until he has nothing else to
count"
THE weather is not yet sufficiently
warm to alleviate the distress of early
rising.
A MAN in Maine advertises that his
wife has left his board and taken the bed
with her.
SHAp are so plentiful in st. Johns
River, Florida, that the farmers are buy
ing them for manure.
THE three things most difficult are to
keep secret, to forget an injury, and
make good use of leisure.
SUN dials mark only the brightest
hours would it not be well If most
people could initiate them.
o, BOTHER cremation! We have to
earn our living--and we don't want to
be compelled to urn our dead.
THEY are enforcing the game law 30
strictly in Connecticut that travellers
can't even get poached eggs there.
A COUNTRY boy, having heard of sail.
ors heaving anchors, wanted to know If
it was sea-sickness that made them do 1t.
A BURGLAR who was found under
mans bed in Philadelphia excused HIM
self on the ground that he was looking
for his dog.
The Washington Star says that on &C.
count of want Of practice 1t takes vet
eran Congressman very long to applya a
postage stamp.
A RICHMOND paper thinks that the
moving of the mountains in North Car
olina must be owing to the increase Of
faith in that region.
A MAN may forget his business, his
family, and all his sacred obligation of
life, but he always remembers where he
got that counterfeit bill.
SOMEBODY makes the original remark
that Washington was man OF acts. 1t
doubtless grew out of the fact that no
was boy with hatchet.
A BALTIMORE Junk dealer advertises
that he wants all the old rubbish from
cellar to attic; he begins his list with
rags, and winds up with books and
pamphlets.
"WHY do you use paint9' asked q
violinist of his daughter. For the
same reason that you use rosin, papa"
"How is thatp "Why, to help me
draw my beauP
Two little girls were comparing pro-
gress in catechism studies. "pve got to
original SIM" said one chow far have
you got f' "Me? Oh, Pm away beyond
redemption" said the other.
IT is said to be an undertaken who
suggested that the liquors of some of the
Western saloons, which are turned into
the streets by some of the crusaders,
should be saved for use in hospitals.
AN affected young lady, on being asked,
in large company, if she had read
Shakespeare, assumed look Of astonish-
ment and replied: Read Shakspearel
Of course l have; 1 read that when it
first came out"
A BOY having complained to his father
that Bill had thrown the Bible at him
and hurt him on the head, the father said:
"Well you are the only member of my
family on whom the Bible ever made the
least impression"
A YOUNG author, reading tragedy,
perceived his auditor very often pull of
his hat at the end of the line, and asked
him the reason. ~ cannot pass very
old acquaintance" replied the critic,
without civility."
In some natures the loftiest unselfsh-
ness is often strikingly manifested.
There is Brooklyn man who keeps his
family at cheap boarding-house, in Or
der to spare the means for his mother-in-
law to travel abroad.
QUnp and his wife had a bit of oon-
tention the other day. 81 own that you
have more brillancy than ], !" said the
woman; "but have the better judge
ment." Eyes" said Quilp. "Your
choice in marriage shows that"
A SCoTCIIMAN went to lawyer once
for advice, and detailed the circumstances
of the case. Have you told me the
facts precisely as they occurred :" asked
the lawyer. 90! ay, STRIP replied he;
"I thoot it best to tell ye the plane
truth. Ye can put the lies into 1t your
self"
A NEBRASKA journal invitingly says:
"Who says farmers cannot get rich in
this state? Fifteen years ago young
man came to the state without dollar
in the world. Last week he went out Of
the state carrying with him the sum Of
one dollar and thirty eight cents, the
savings of fifteen years of frugal life.
Come West, young man, come West"