The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1874-04-16
Smelling the Butter.

An dJllleUc Individual was nOtlceQ SLID
ing along Montgomery street, San Fran
cisco, lately, with an anxious eye peering
inquisitively into the window of every
eating-house which he passed. He was
evidently a man whose choice i'm CASTRO
nOmical matters was governed solely by
the quantity of meat. vegetables and
liquids given i'm exchange for 4 stipulated
sum. Finally, he appeared to be satisfied
with the inducements held out in a long
bill of fare which, tackled to a carcass of
mutton in front of window, fiuttered in
the breeze, and informed the hunger
haunted passer-by that four dishes could
be had within for twenty-five cents.
The man went i'm and in a few moments
was tackling slim meal with vigorous
avidity. After finishing his allotted four
plates, with the exception of few slices of
bread, his eye fell upon small plate of
butter, which in his hurry he had evidently
not noticed before. lie was about to
plunge his knife into the butter when
something in its appearance caused him to
pause, and while pausing, he took occasion
to reflect. Suddenly he reached forward
and taking the small butter-plate between
his finger and thumb, he held it toward
the light and examined its contents for
nearly minute. He next held it to his
nose and snuffed its SAVIOR three successive
times, with puzzled expression of conn
tenance.
All this time the restaurant keeper was
standing Immediately behind the butter
analyzer, watching him attentively. and
his face was indicative of rage and disgust.
Perhaps you don't like that butter?"
was his first remark. Semi-interrOgatively.
The man at the table simply laid down
the butter. and turned round with an in
quiring expression on his visage; but he
said nothing
Perhaps you don't like that butter :"
yelled the restaurant man, in somewhat
Savagely explanatory tone.
81 don't know, as yet-the fact is, L
haven't tried it,"
"Wall. YOU looked at it as if you
thought something was the matter with it.
Now, if you have gotany remarks to make
about that butter, you tan make 'em right
here"
Il was simply examining the peculiar
appearance of the OleaginOus compound"
replied the man at the table; and he spoke
with eXasperating precision and GOODNESS.
Those blue streaks impart TO the article
a variegated appearance which somewhat
excited my curiosity. Blue streaks, be-
lieve. are considered a novelty in butter :;
are they notg"
The restaurant keeper was somewhat
taken aback by the calm reply of the 9TH
er, but recovered himself sufficiently to re-
mark:
Blue streaks are GL11ays in good butter
at this season of the year. You must be
one of those up-country lunatics, not to
know that"
He paused for a moment and then re-
Sumed in a threatening manner:
d" NOu must understand that | don't al
low no man to come to this restaurant and
90 snuffin' around the butter; no we'll
bred man ill do it,
Il Appropriated that butter to mynOse
simply to ascertain if those blue Streaks
made any particular difference in the smell.
think that the streakS make no very re-
markable difference in the smell; in fact,
am of the opinion that if any difference at
all is OccasiOned. it is actually for the bet
ter. As far as smelling the butter is con-
cerned, hold that, having paid for the
article, have perfect right TO smell Oft.
and should do so again if | thought it at
all necessary; but do not think it is. |
smelled that greasy substance in this i'll
stance merely to ascertain if it was the new
article of commerce called OleOmargarine,
and having thus arrived at a satisfactory
have no occasion to smell of it again.
Here the frigid customer deposited a
quarter upon the table and turned to go.
Before he could reach the door, however,
the restaurant keeper, excited to an uncon-
trOllable pitch of frenzy by the speakers
last remark, yelled vOciferously-
Its an internal lie! | keep none of
your ball butter in this house. You lie if
You say so. sir! | can hex the man who
SAYS so. sir, can lick him RoI0 - and he
SmOte his guest upon the nose.
In another instant the guest, fortified,
doubtless, by his recent substantial meal,
launched his right between the Others
eyes and landed him under the nearest
table, stunned and senseless. There was
a clash of plates, a rattle of steel forks and
a dash of butter dishes accompanying the
last vancouver, but still the restaurant
keeper lay without apparent life or mo-
! ton,
! The guest surveyed him for moment,
and then lifting the plate of butter for a
| fourth time to his nose, smelt it deliberate
| ly, laid it down, and departed, rcmarking,
as he went out: at Is OleOmargarine, and
no mistake