The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1874-09-26
NUMBER s.
Laughing Gas.


Soundings OH a bar-rapping for
drinks.
A crying ~s9,ame---OHr neighbor's
young one.
Preferred creditors are, those who
do not DIM.
The pound of fesh-Making tough
steak tender.
"The cause of woman suffrage ~
Scarcity Of husbands.
A fashionable lady says her hus-
band is the latest thing out.
Talking Of oarsDen, John Panl
says it's Il great thing Dow-a-days to
DC "a gentleman and a sculler."
| A spectacular drama, founded on
Webster's unabridged dictionary, is
in course of preparation.
A darkey's instructions for putting
on coat were, g First de right arm,
den de left, and den give one general
conwulsion."
| A New Hampshire woman, when
dying, made her husband swear OH
the Bible that he would never marry
q woman with a sharp Dose.
Junius Henri Browne calls the dead
"the silent majority" That's very
6ne thought, and now let Junius stop
parting his name in the middle.
"A Boston conrs las decided that If
a woman lends money TO her husband
she can not get it back. The decision
will not bG new to many wives.
Tie success Of Josh Billings is ex-
| ceptional. There are thousands of
young men who do not know how to
spell, and yet they are not worth
$3.50, 600.
| There are now four competitors for
the title Of Nathan murderer. These
parties should be hung upon their
own confessions and give others a
! chance.
An honest old farmer, ON being in
formed the other day that one Of his
neighbors owed him Il gruhge, growled
out, !" No matter, he never pays any
thing"
Nothing appeals more to the SYM
pathies Of a kind hearted person than
tho spectacle of a starved dog, sitting
on the ragged edge OF anxiety waiting
for i. bone. "*t' a'-i
"Thou rainest in this BOSOM" was
the remark of /. Lothario when his
fair one threw basin of water ever
him for "catcr- -wauling" under her
chamber window.
A Minnesota minister who said that
the grasshoppers We're plague sent
to punish the gra;gcrs, is coming east
to find another pulpit. They couldn't
believe him.
What small boy does not envy the
nerve Of the portly man who enters
church, takes ont big handkerchief
and deliberately blows his nose three
times before sitting down I
A gentleman who landed from an
Erie express train attracted universal
attention by the magnificence of his
diamond breastpin. He was supposed
to be a hackman from Niagara Falls.
With sartlonic grin Wix poured
some mncilage into his empty hair-oil
bottle, yesterday, and this morning
the hair of one Of the servant girls
was stuck so tight that she could not
shut her mouth.
Little Johnnie is dead, but before
his spirit was waited to the angels he
requested that u watermelon vine
might be allowed to wander at will
over his green grave, that it might be
Il warning to future generations.
A small boy from the rural districts
followed a Chicago letter-carrier for
several hours the other day, watching
him open the letter boxes Oh the
III the hopes of discover
ing the secret of making gas.
A Church of England clergyman
knocked his sister down and sat on
her. This is all the information that
reaches us; but if she had the spirit
Of Il woman land any pins) in her
bosom, Ie won't be able to sit on any
allng else for i. goodly period.
When tie late Gen. Thomas, U. S.
A., was asked for furlough by
back woods soldier, in order that he
might visit his wife, to whom he had
,ecn married but three months, he
.epljel: "Why, my dear fellow,
haven't seen my wife for three years.
rhe backwoodsman stared incretlu-
ously ut the General for Il moment.
md then broke ont, But you see
lie and my wife amt that kind
Mr.. Stocking is the leatlin. Conscr-
,ative candidate for Governor of Ne
,ra,k;., and the funny men arc after
i'm. One says his name is received
With Hose -annas. Another think his
'arty has got a slIoer thing. His op-
,oncnts call him a llarned old hum
,ug, but acknowledge that they can't
,,hl him off. On the whole, We think
t will prove that somebody has put
lis foot in it. e..
A gentleman at Lake George, after ~
waving his handkerchief for half an
lonr at an unknown 1ady whoa he