The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-09-15

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great west winders, and there was pretty
sleepy time there. Wal, the deacon he
flew round spell, and woke up the chill
dren and tapped the boys on the head, and
KEEP everything straight as he could till the
sermon was most through, when he rally
got most tuckered out, and he took a chair
and he sot down in the door right opposite
the minister and fairly got asleep himself,
jest as the minister got up to make the
last prayer.
"Wal, Parson Morrel had way O. pray
in with his eyes open. Folks said it want
the best way, but it was. Parson Morrel's
way anyhow, and SO as he was prayin' he
couldn't help seein' that Deacon Titkins
was noddin' and bobbin' out toward
the place where old Dick was feedin' with
the sheep, front of the meetin' house
door.
Lem and me was sittin' where we
could look out and we jest see old Dick
stop feedin' and look at the deacon. The
deacon had little round head as smooth
as an apple, with nice powdered wig on
it, and he sot there making bobs and bows
and Dick begun to think it was suthin'
sort O. pussonal. Lem and me was sittin'
jest where we could look out and see the
hull picter, and Lem was fit to split.
"Good, now," says he, "that critter'll
pay the deacon off lively, pretty soon."
"The deacon bobbed his head spell,
and old Dick he shook his horns and
stomped at him sort O. threatnin'. Finally
the deacon he gave a great bow and
brought his head right down at him, and old
Dick he sot out full tilt and come down on
him ker chunk, and knocked him head over
heels into the broad aisle, and his wig flew
one way and he t'other, and Dick made
plunge at it as it flew, and carried it off on
his horns.
"Wal, you may believe, that broke up
the meetin' for one while, for Parson Nor
rel laughed out, and all the gals and boys
they stomped and roared, and the old dea-
con he got up and begun rubbing his
shins-'cause he didn't see the joke ont
"You don't orter laugh,' says he, "it's
no laughing matter-it's a solemn thing"
says he. l might have been sent into
'tarnity by that darned critter," says he.
Then they all roared and haw-hawed the
more to see the deacon dancin' round with
his little shiny head, SO smooth fly would
trip up ont. 81 believe my soul, you'd
laugh to see me in my grave" says he
"Wal, the truth ont twas jest one of
them bustin' up times that natur has,
when there amt nothin' for it but to give
in, twas jest like the ice breakin' up in
the Charles river-it all comes at once and
no whoa to it, Sunday or no Sunday, sin or
no sin, the most on 'em laughed till they
cried, and couldn't help it.
:" But the deacon he went home feelin'
pretty sore about it. Lem Sudoc he picked
up his wig and handed it to him. Says he,
cold Dick was playing tithing-man, want
he, deacon Teach you to make allowance
for other folks that get sleepy"
"Then Mrs. Titkins she went over to
Aunt Jerushy Scran's and Aunt Polly Ho-
kum's, and they he'd pot o. tea over it,
and greed it was awful of Parson 1Icrrel
to set sich an example, and suthin' had got
to be done about it. Miss Hokum said she
alters knew that Parson Morrel hadn't no
spiritooality, and now it had broke out
into open sin, and led all the rest of 'em
into it, and Mrs. Titkins she said such a
man want fit to preach, and Miss Hokum
said she couldn't never hear him again,
and the next Sunday the deacon and his
wife they hitched up and driv eight miles
over to Parson Luthrop's and took Aunt
Polly on the back seat.
"Wall, the thing growed and growed,
till it seemed as if there warn't nothin else
talked about, cause Aunt Polly and
Miss Titkins and Jerushy Scran they didn't
do nothin' but talk about it, and that sot
everybody else talkin'
''Finally it was greed they must hcv' a
council to settle the hash So all the vim
men went to chopping mince, and making
up pumpkin pies, and cranberry tarts, and
bilin' doughnuts, gettin' ready for the min
listers and delegates-'O councils always
acts powerful-and they had quite stir,
like gineral trainin.
The hosses, they was hitched all up and
down the stalls, stompin' and switchin'
their tails, and all the women was talkin'
and he'd up everybody round for Witnesses,
and finally Parson Morrelhe says Breth-
ren, says he, jest let me tell you the story
jest as it ithappened, and If you don't every
one of you laugh as hard as ! did, why, then
I'll give up