The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-03-27
NUMBER 32.
Dickens and the women's Crusade


The following story by Dickens will
be read with satisfaction, we hope, both
by those who favor and those who or
pose the new crusade against intem
peranee
Once upon a / m, as Mr.. Dickens re
Iates in his 81 Tale of Two Cities" ther.
lived in England a "resurrectionist, -
that is to say, body-snatcher, by the
name of Jerry Cruncher, in whose house
the scene OF our tale opens, Just as the
hero awakens after q night spent at his
favorite occupati n.
Mr.. Cruncher reposed undera patch
work cOunterpane. like a harlequin at
home. At first he slept heavily, but
by degrees began to roll and surge il
bed, until he arose above the surface,
with his spiky hair locking as if it
must tear the sheet to ribbons. At
which juncture he exclaimed, in a voice
of dire evaporation
"Bust me, if she amt at It again -
A woman of orderly and industrious
appearance rose from her knees in a cor
ner with sufficient haste aud trepidation
to show that she was the person re-
feTred to.
WhatI" said Mr.. Cruncher, looking
out Of bed for q boot. You're at it
agin, are you?"
After hsiliDg the morn with this sec
ond salutation, he threw a boot at the
woman as a third.
4" What, said Mr.. Cruncher, varying
his apostrOphe after missing his mark,
What are you up to, Aggerawayter? 2"
81 was only saying my pravers.
'Saying your prayers You are q
nice woman What do you mean by
fiooping yourself down and praying
agin me p
''I was not praying against you I
was praying for you"
"You wer'nt. And If you were, I
won't be took the liberty with. Here
Your mothers a nice woman, Jerry, go
ing praying agin your fathers prss-
perity. You've got a duUifal mother,
you have, my son. You've got a reli-
giOus mother, you have, my boy going
and Topping herself down, and pray
ing that the bread -and-butt may be
snat"hed out of the mouth of her only
child %
Master Cruncher (who was in his
shirt took this very Ill, and, turning to
his mother, strongly deprecated any
praying away of his personal board.
''And what do you suppose, you con-
ceited female, said Mr.. Cruncher, with
unconscious inconsistency, "that the
worth of your prayers may be? Name
the price that you put your prayers at. p"
They only came from the heart,
Jerry. They are worth no more than
that "
"Worth no more than that? % re-
peated Mr.. Cruncher. 90 They aint
worth much then. Whether or no,
won't be prayed agin, tell you. l
can't afford it. I'm not going to be made
unlucky for your sneaking. If yon
must go Topping yourself down, flop in
favor of your husband and child, and
not in opposition to 'em. If had any
but an unnatural mother, might have
made some money asst week, instead of
being counterprayed and countermina I'd
and being religiousiy circumwonted into
the worst of luck. "Bu-u-st," said
Mr.. Cruncher, who had been all this
time putting on his clothes, "if I Gin't,
what with piety and one blowed thing
and another, been choused this last
week into as bad luck SIS ever a poor
devil of an honest tradesman met with.
Young jerry, dress yourself, my boy,
and while clean my boots keep an eye
on your mother now and then, and if
you see any signs of any more Topping,
give me call. For tell you, ;" here he
addressed his wife once more, 81 won't
be gone agin in this manner y