The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-12-18
scIssORrNas.


Oath Of che Chicago girI-Buy
gum. as sei 1
London 'fog-hornsp are made Of
gin. g a N 50
The most valuable prize-EnteT
prise, ses
gate.
A "put up job Bunker Fill mon
ument 'N W a'ii
.o"slipping his grip" is California tor
dying 7ai
Sweets for the i'll tempered -rart
sayings. m i.aS talie
Trauce-migration Of uoloS--sleep
walking, ISL aet sg
The height Of absurdity-''Medi-
um" height.
Insurrectiop in Egypt The rising
Of the Nile. 'ep2
The latest fashion in Chicago
trem marriages. sia6s
Like begets like. A Roman punch
for Roman nose. II 81
Household words-The language
in q receipt for rent. lsig agf
To make a telling speech man
must tell something.
A man who i'd out ofpocketmight as
we'll be out Of town i
"Maryn wrote to her "Dear John"
to "Comet afpastatea "
If you plant puppy, what would
come up? Dogwood. lieoY a,if
Soldiers lput their best foot for
ward. That is right. m
How to get rich-Liye on air and
sleep on clothes line
The Cuirass is all the rage with the
ladies. Baalam rode one
A man with a bignoae isn't always
handsome but he's nobby,
No man can truly feel for the poor
without feeling in his pocket.
Why was Ruth very rude to Boazs
Because she pulled his ears and trod
on bis corns.
The good of a rnan's'life cannot be
measured by the length of bis funer-
al procession. &N n 4
A Vermont singer is said to have a
gold mine in her voice. Her note
ought to be good aB
A philosopher has discovered that
men don't object to being overrated,
except by assessors
The San Francisco Hoodlum says,
"Oh, chaw me hairp when he meets
a girl with it frizzled. g q gN.g
1T is considered safe for q young
man never to triae with the affections
of woman who whistles.
In the we'll settled districts Of Tex
as you can get free ride on hearse
by picking up'a rattlesnakc.
Cicero, said, "The pursuit Of all
things should be calm and Tranquil" "
How about capturing feas?o oe 1,
"All the girls are becoming vegetai
rians They wear iturn-up hats" And
reddish noses and cherry lips.
When Noah made the ark fast with
a cable tow there was tied 10 the
affairs Of men taken at the food.
! When adead man is spoken of as
"the late Mr.. Smith, the inference Is
! that he did not die early enough. Is
The crow is not so bad bird after
all. 1t never shows the white feather
and never complains without caws
At fifteen the average boy sings
gaily, II want to be an angeln AT
thirty he wants to live as long as he
can. t H Incw
An Eastern paper intimates that
Treasurer Spinner acquired his habit
Of profanity while learning to read
I his own writing. ,c,s
An old lady hearing somebody soy
: that tho mails were irregular, said
ut was just 50 in my young days
I no trusting anyot 'em.
"A Uniontown turkey was observed
: on a fence tho other day, intently
studying an almanac and reckoning
l how long il was from Thanksgiving.
What's the use, ia these days try
: ing to be honestY exclaimed a grum.
bier. On, you ought 10 try IL once
: and see, retortad one Of his compan-
p ions. ,5aH 4.a)
!. According to an Auburn paper,
4 they are going to put up in that city
4 an addition to their seminary, ito 40
' commodate eighty-six students-2OC
feet long"
o A Western paper chronicles a mar
I riage in this suggestive style: "Tht
j couple resolved themselves into 4
: committee of two, with power to ado
TO their number" f
{ eStephen Stern nit frau and Il KID,
is one item in the Storage list Of ,
/ late Hamburger steamer The minc
0 recoils from the infinite jokes sugges
/, ted by those little Sterns,
d A man named WISER who brokt
}. one OF bis arms while wrestling witt
r a friend, is still Wysef but the doc
Q tor says it will be some months be
|, fore he will be better man
9 A Canada man tied his dog to the
q end Of rear car the other day, auc
thon bot tho beast could keep up Will
= the train, Strange TO say when ths
y train got into Detroit, the dog wal
J abead-there was nothing else loft o
. him. ~
THE President requested the Sec
retary Of War to remove tho sutler
/. to the various forts on tho frontier
\ and 10 appoint Orvillo Grant to car