The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1874-01-09
MISCELLANY.


mediately afterWard to shink OF
some expression which would
have totally annihilated yeur op
ponent. 75l a
A small child being asked by s
Sunday school teacher. ''W hat
did the Israelites do after they
had crossed the Red Scar answer
ed, 81 don't know, ma'am, but
guess they dried themselv es-'
Rev. Charles Brooks was asked
'sWhat is the shortest sketch oi
human lifeT He answered thus
sat ten, child; at twenty, wild;
at thirty, strong, if ever; at forty,
rich; at fifty, wise; at sixty. good,
or Observation-Disclosures simplex
CRATIC est"
So long as we keep cool and
control our feelings we do not at
tract the attention of people; but
as soon as soon as We get into an
anxious state of mind which We
csnnot regulate, then people see
the weakness, and become our crit
les and our enemies.
At Sunday school in Ripon a
a teacher asked a little boy If he
knew what the expression sssowing
tares" meant. "Gourth 1 does, said
he, pulling the seat of his little
breeches around in. front; s'there's
q tare my ma sewed. 1 tarsd it
slidin' down hill.
A doctor living near Boston is
SO penurious that when he goes
to make q visit in the country he
takes q hen in his gig to eat up
the oats his horse scatters when
eating. The hen knows her bust
ness so well that she gets right
out and goes to work without
being told"
The London Church Times con-
tains the following advertisement
Home wanted for an unmanage-
able boy, aged ten, with a clergy
man. Strict disciplinarian, accus-
toned and willing to birch. Lib
eral terms; sings in the choir. ",
Post Office, st. Leonards-on Sc.
A courteous Frenchman, in re-
ply to a question why ladies were
not admitted into the Chamber OF
Deputies, said that to be member
it was requisite to be forty years
of age, and it was impossible to
suppose that any lady would reach
that unseemly age.
A De Kalb, ILL.,, minister walked
about two miles few days since
to marry q wealthy couple in the
hope of securing a handsome pres
emit. The bridegroom put an end
to his expectations by pressing
upon his acceptance a silver pen
holder and a bouquet of flowers.
1t has been calculated that If
thirty cents a day be expended on
liquors it will, at the close of the
year, amount to $109, 80 and at the
end of ten years to $I,095. At
the present price of -four, this
would be sufficient to supply four
families of five persons each with
bread for an equal length of time.
A little negro boy of the South
had just been equipped with q
new suit of clothes, the first he
had ever had in his life you may
be sure. Next morning he ap-
peared with one leg Of the trows-
ers ripped up from shoe to waist
band. On being asked how it
happened he answered, "Please
ma'am, l wanted to hear it flop"
The number of Sunday school
teachers in this country in 1928 is
said to have been $4,000. A
writer in the Chicago Teacher
thinks there are now 100000
scholars, and 100000 teachers.
The estimate is considered toe
high; but the increase in the
number of scholars, and the en-
thusiasm manifested in the work
in the past ten years, has beer
truly wonderful, and must have
produced great results.
every good act" says Moham
med, sis charity" Your smiling
in your brothers face is charity
an exhortation of your fellow-mer
to virtuous deeds is equal to aims
giving; your putting a wsnderel
on the right road is charity. A
mans true wealth hereafter is the
good he does to his fellow-man
"The Karen mothers" say
Mrs. Vinton, dedicate their in
fants to their idol gods early, zeal
ously and scrupuously. After tn,
conversion of these heather moth
ers, they are no less jealous 70
the salvation of their children
They cease not, day or night, til
God hears their cry and oftel
their little ones are brought saw
ingly to the knowledge of tn
truth as it is in Jesus"
Is not this a voice of thunder Il
us? Veriley, will not these heather
rise in judgement to our condem
nation.
An unfortunate deacon recent,
created q good deal of mortimer
at church in st. Joseph, No
while engaged in taking mp tn
contributions. He had suffered
some days previously, from a ma,
cident to his nose, and having dis
placed the plaster in his anxiet
to secure a ten-cent stamp ths
had fallen, he made . hasty div
for small white object on th
carpet, but had no sooner place
it on the tip of his nasal orga
than the Young ladies began t
thrust their handkerchiefs int
their mouths and litter. TIL
cause of such a sudden outburs
of good spirits was not discover
ed by him until he entered th
vestry-roon, and saw that he ha
replaced the plaster with q cotto
spool label containing the follow
ing suggestive words: "Warrante
200 yards"
A Deacon of Burmah, in rels
ing an incident in his life ss .
idolator, gives . very entertain
ing and suggestive account {
what we should imagine would |
q most common experience anon
idol worshipers. Having pu
chased an idol, he placed it in
temple, and performed acts
worship before it daily. One do
he observed that there wei
several large holes in his idc
which had apparently been mar
by animals. His conjecture ".
soon verified by the appearance ,
: several rats from these hole
Amazed and indi0nank fh.t II