The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-08-07

like the madman I was. The coat
was gone.
i Then l was unnerved. / grasped
at the stair rail, and caught it just in
time to support myself. Carrie came
running out, her face pale with alarm.
ooh, Fred, you are sick Let me
call mother and the doctor! You are
as white as sheet"
'No, no, Carrie" l entreated.-
There, l am better now"
And was better; 1 was strong.
And what brought about this change
That simple receipt that had in nly
Ipocket-Anderson had nothing to
show that the money had been paid !;
and was not my unaided word as
good as his?
was foolish enough to believe /
could brave it through, and 1 grew
confident and quite easy at once.
"There, Carrie, am much better,
now. The room was too warm l
guess. So, some sneak thief has
lodged in and stolen my coat. Well,
Ilet it go; it was an old one, and now
'IPll have better one"
"But was there nothing in the pock
etsf" asked Carrie.
1t is strange how suspicious guilt
will make us. really thought Car
rie suspected me, aud an angry reply
rose to my tongue, L suppressed it
however, and uttered falsehood in
stead.
Nothing of consequence, Crrrie.
A pair of gloves and some otEer tri-
fling notions"
81 am glad it was no worse, Fred.
Now, if ycu sill wait just a moment
l will get you one Of fathers coats to
wear home
Thus equipped 1 left her.
You may guess that my slumbers
on that night were not very sound,
nor very refreshing. I never passed
a more miserable night, and in the
morning my haggard looks were the
just subject of remark.
'Why, Fred; you look rs though
you had met legion of ghosts last
night" said Winston. "What is the
matter?"
II had bad night of it," l ans
wered with 3 sickly smile.
"And you'll have another if you're
not careful. You had better keep
quiet to-day. By-the-way, did you
write to Anderson"
1 do not know how 1 managed to
reply, for the question set me to shiv-
'ering from head to foot, and was
so frightened that could hardly sit
in my chair.
l must have answered in the affir-
native, however, for he said:
"Then we may look for something
from him to morrow or next day."
Immediately after he added.
'Why, Fred, you shiver as though |
you had the ague, and you are sweat |
ing like a butcher! You're sick,
man. Come, jump into my cutter
and I'll take you home"
1 was glad of the chance to get of
and reaching my room locked N.Y.
self in.
Winston sent a doctor round, but |
refused to see him. Then Winston |
came himself, but / would not open |
the door. Then my landlady came;
then some of my fellow boarders, but !
l turned them all away.
All! those were terrible hours that
l passed, and that night coming on
brought NO relief. Can you not guess
what 1 was meditating? Coward that
/ was, l had at last resolved on self
destruction.
commenced my preparations with !
the same calmness and deliberation |
that l would have used in the most |
ordinary transaction. 1 wrote short |
explanation for Carrie; another for
Mr.. Winston; a third for my poor
mother, and sealed them all. In a |
fourth envelope I enclosed the re-
ceipt for Mr.. Anderson.
All this accomplished I went TO my |
secretary and took out the weapon Of
death. 1t was simply a revolver,
small and insignificant in appearance
but all sufficient.
Having examined the cartridges,
to make sure that there would be
no failure, l sat down at the fire to
gather courage.
1t may be interesting to know
that no courage come to me, for the
desperation-the growing fear of
life-I can by no wise call by that
name. 1t was simply cowardice.
Yet whatever ycu may term it, was
all sufficient for the time. 1t nerved
my arm, and, lifting the revolver, 1
placed its cold deathdeahng muzzle
against my forehead.
In another minute / should have
been hfeless; but just as my finger
began to press the trigger, there
came q tap at the door.
1t startled me, and hastily con-
cealing my weapon, l called out
that could admit no one.
"Not me, FredP'
l knew Carries voice, and a
yearning to look on her loved face
got the mastery of me. Quietly
slipping the tell-tale letters, which
I had left on the table, into my
pocket, / opened the door.
"Oh, Fred, you are real sick!" ex
claimed Carrie, the moment the
light fell on my face. 'Why did you
not send for mel Aren't you bet
terT'
Worse" ! answered, huskily; /
|"but Carrie-Good heavensF
As / uttered this exclamation /
started back, and then forward and