The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1874-11-25


A nod fellow-Morpheus.
ht-headed-A street lamp.
Fee simple-A fee to quack.
Leveling down-Going to bed.
Very hard lines-Railways.
How to treat wife-Treat her to a
new dress.
A Dubuque, Iowa, man offers to
pray for 50 a day.
Consistent to the last: Tom Collins
has died in CELL
1t is better to be flush in the pocket
than in the tace.- Danbury News.
Albert Edward can pay his debts il
he wants to. He don't want to, how
ever.
In Switzerland, no girl is allowed
to break her marriage engagement un-
less her lover loses both his legs.
80 kittens! in our hours of ease,
uncertain toys and full of fleas; when
pain or anguish hang Ger men, We
turn you into sausage then
The man who has not anything to
boast of but his illustrous ancestors is
like a potato plant-the only good be-
longing to him is under the ground
Jenny Lind and her husband have
| taken up their permanent residence
at Wiesbaden, where the LITTER is
! leading professor in the Academy of
| Music.
Dear me?' disconsolately said a
rude young girl. I've forgotten my
handkerchief. Fortunately haven't
a bad cold; but haven't anything to
firt with"
The prudent young man at the
South no longer seeks to wed the
daughter of banker. but slides up to
the girl whose father owns an artif-
cial ice machine.
A Georgetown man advertises con-
cerning his runaway wife. that 'As l
never pay my own debts it is reasona-
BILE to suppose that shall not pay
hers"
There is evidently very brilliant
future before Weston, but the general
opinion is that he won't begin to real
ize it much until somebody saws off
his legs.
Uncle, how do you do? Which
would you like best, work for wages,
or part of de crop?" "Waal, I 'clar,
| | tink bofe de best, if you kin only
brung 'em togedder."
An Indiana clergeman sued a news
paper for libel and dropped dead with
in week. The Detroit Free Press
says these fellows will learn some
thing by and by.
The opinion is being strengthened
every day that the man who first made
shirt to button behind did more for
the world than one who has discover
ed five comets.
Girls, as you value your lives, don't
get up in the mornings. A young
lady attempted it one day last week,
and burned to death. Show this to
your malnmas.
An East Lynne, Conn, young man
has lain abed six years on account of
Disappointment in love. In all prob
ability his parents prefer to have him
out of the way, or he would have been
starved out.
A young blood at hotel was re-
quested to pass dish near him. "Dt
you mistake me for waiter?' said the
exquisite. No. sir; ! mistook yor
for gentleman, was the prompt re
ply.
The Shah of Persia contemplate
sending an Ambassador to this coun
try, but Tor what purpose it is no
known. 1t is conjectured, however
he requires an agent in America fo
the sale Of his book!
Tennie G.. Claflin, according to tn
Chicago lnter-Ocean, is now Mrs
John Green. Has this sweet cherul
been getting married again? And i
. there no law for the protection Of he
artless innocence?
There is German in Carbon coun
ty. Pa. who is father of thjrty-thre
children. His wife has just rejecte
an application of the Commissioner
of Charities to put him upon the re
tired list Brooklyn Argus.
Olive Logan poises a rolling-pin o
the end Of her thumb and demand
to know who first uttered that expires
, sion, "Logan's man Sykes"
An excited railway man, who shout
into the cars the names OF the station,
and who hears great deal of CON
plant because the names are calle
indistinctly. wants to know ifthe pull
lie expect tenors at $40 month.
Mr.. Dubois, of Fall River, has ha
|. the blood of live lamb introduce
into his veins, as a remedy for cor
. sumption. 1t is probable that thel
: will be no unusual effect save an al
normal fondness for all girls name
Mary.
Boston men can't believe what the
see. One of them had to feel steal
auger in Chicago to see if it was real
whirling. 1t really was, and three {
3 four Of his fingers fell down benin
: an alderman cravat-Detroit Pres
: why, you see" she began, "yo
take chesnut and cut round the hu
. with sharp knife. and you take on
half the chesnut in your mouth, an
your fellow takes the other half in h
mouth, and pull, and the hull come
: right off, "
n Poor, young thing. She fainte
s away at the wash-tub, and her prett
nose went ker-slop into the soapsud
Some said it was overwork; other
however, whispered that her beau ha
]. peeped over the back fence and calle
s out: "Hullo, there, Bridget, is Mit
Alice at homer"