Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1874-08-15

? ABOUT me were really made, As now ap
pears, TO leave him free for future ope
ratiOus on me ami against me SO lon
es be was, or thought be was on Tia
road to new success, bis conduct 10
ward me was as friendly as he knew
how to make il. His assumption of su
periority and msgnanimity, and his pa
lronlziDg manner were trifies st whicl
l could afford to smile, and which
/ bore with the greatest humility, since
still retained the profound impression
upon me as explained in the following
narrative that mad been cause of over
whelming disaster to him. Not blinC
70 his faults, bat resolved to look on hin
as fsvOTably and hopefully as possible
and ignorant of his deeper malice, l la.
bored earnestly, even desperately for hii
salvation for four years. i have beer
. trying to feed his Unsuitable egotism t
make the man as great as he conceived
himself to be; to restore prosperity anC
public confidence to one who, ia the
midst OF my efforts in his behalf, pa
trODized disreputable people and doc
trines, and refused when besought him
10 separate from them, and ascTibed tC
my agency the increasing ruin he was
persistently bringing on himself and
which l was doing my ut
most 10 avert II was hard 10
do anything for such a man. /
might as well have tried t. fill a sieve
with water. In the latter stages Of the
history lie actually incited aud created
difficulties, apparently for no other pur-
pose than TO drive me to flesh eXeTtions.
l refused 70 indOrse his wild views and
associates. The best | could do was to
speak well Of him, mention those good
. 4 E,1,s 4 H.
lieve him to possess in his higher moods,
and keeping silence concerning the evil
things which I was assured and believed
had been greatly exaggerated by public
report. ] could not think him so bad
I as my friends. ] trusted 10 his genius
! of kOOd, which l thought still lived in
! him, to Mr.. MOulton's apparent power
/ over him, and the power Of my persist
I ent self-sScrifice. Mr.. MOulton came to
me first as a schOOlmste and friend Of
Mr. HltOn, determined tOreinstate him,
1 always suspected, without regard TO
my interests; but on a farther acquaint-
ance with me, undertook and promised
to serve his friend without doing wrong
to me. He said he saw clearly how this
was to be done Sc as to
RESTORE PEACE AND HARMONY
to Mr.. Tilton's home, and bring happy
end OF all my MISUNDERSTANDING
Many things which ne counseled /
absolutely refused, but never doubted
his professed friendship for me, after the
friendship had grown up between us,
and whatever he wished me to do did,
unless il seemed to me wrong My con-
fidence in him was the only element
that seemed secure in this confusion of
tOrmenting perpleXities. To him /
wrote freely in this tToublOus time,
while / felt that secret Vaccinations
were going on around me, and echoes
Of the vilest ISLANDERS concerning me
were heard in unexpected quarters,
when some of my nesr relatives were
set against me, and the lille of a crowd
Of malicious women, hostile to US on
other grounds, was borne to my ears,
when l had lost the last remnant OF
faith in Theodore or hope for him, when
| hesrd with unspeakable remnTse that
everything | had done to stay his de-
struUtiOn had made matters worse and
worse, aud that my attempt to keep
him from public trial, involving such
flow Of scandal as hes now
been let loose. had been used /
by him to bring up new troubles, I
that bis unhappy wife under his die /
tatiOn, signing papers and recantauOns, |
and / know not what, that in short, I
everything was breaking up, and the /.
destruction from which I had sought to /.
save the family was likely to be emptied |
on other families in the church and I
community, with infinite horrors Of woe |
for me; that my own innocence was |
buried under heaps OF rubbish, and no. /
body but my professed friend, if even |
be, could save Us. To his assurances /
that he could still do 50, l gave at least |
so much faith Bs to maintain, under I
these terrible trials, the silence which /
he enjoined. Not till Mr.. TiltOn, hsv- /
ing attempted through Frank Carpen- /
ter to raise mOBey ftOm my friends, /
openly sssailed me in 3 letter to DR.. .
Bacon, did break that silence. save by /
a simple denial Of slRnderous rumors I
against me the year before. When on |
the appearance Of the first open attack /
from Mr.. TiltOn, / Immediately, with
out consulting Mr.. MCutOn, callel for a
thorough investigation with a commit
tee Of my church. / am not responsible
for the delay, the publicity or the details
Of that investigation. All the harm
which l have so long dreaded, and have
so earnestly striven 10 avoid, has come
to pass. / could not further prevent it
without full
SURRENDER or HONOR AND TRUTH.
The time has arrived when I can freely
speak ia vindication Of myself / labor
under many disadvantages in making
this statement. My memory of the
status of my mind is clear and tenaci-
Gus, better than my memory of dates
and details, during four troubled years,
in all Of which have been sinRul rly
buTdened with public labor, having es-
tablished and conducted the CiTiStidn
Union, delivered courses Of lectures,
prea he'd before the theological seminary
OF Yale college, written the Life Of
Christ, aud delivered each winter ly-
ceum lectures in all the north and west.
All these duties, with the care Of great
church and its outlying schools and
chapels, and the miscellaneous business
which falls upon clergyman more than
upon any other public man, / have kept
in regard and now, with the necessity
Of explaining actions and letters result
ing from complex influences apparent
at the time, find myself in a position
where l know my Innocence without
being able TO prove it with detailed ex-
planation. I am ore upon whom trou-
bic works inwardly, making me out
wardly silent, but reverbeTaiing in the
cham bers Of my soul, and when at
length L do speak 1t is as a pentup 1iOed,
and pOurs with measure or moderation.
| inherit a tendency to saduess-the re-
mains in me Of positive hypOchOudria
u my father, my grandfather, and In
certain moods of reaction the world be-
,omes black and / see very despsiring-
y. III were in such mood, to speak as
feel | should give
7ALEE COLoRs AND EXAGGERATED PRO
PORTIONS
o everything. This manifestation is
n such contrast TO the hopefulness and
,Oursge which / experience in ordi-
laTy times that none but those intimate
gi.n me would suspect me so fail
Jf the OveTtiOwing spirit and eager glad
10 have within him care OF |
gloom. Some Of nay letters 10 MI.
Aou ton reflect this morbid feeling. He
understood IL, aud, at times, earnestly :
me for INDUCING Il. With :
his preliminary review | proceed to
my narrative:
synopsis Of Mr.. Beseher's Narrative.
Mr.. TiltOn was first known here az a
-epoTter OF my sermons he was then
4 youth Just from school, and working
,n the New York ObserUer, and from
his paper be passed TO the Independent.
and became a great favorite with Mr.,
bowen. When, about 1861, Drs. Bacon,
Storrs and Thompson resigned their
places. | became the editor Of the Iade-
Dsniegif, 10 which j had been, from its
tad a contributor. One Of the induce.
---..t, l,og4 ouf IN me Waa thai Vflfon ]