Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-03-26
A PERFECT CURE.
BY l.. C. PRINDEL.

IT'S no use talkin'-there! Between
'em both they're plag'in my life out o.
me. A perfect Silly and Chary-bodice,
and Pm kept bobbin' in sperit from one
to t'other all the time. Why don't you
say somethin', David?" And Aunt Hep
sey squared herself around, hands on her
hips, and glared tiercely at him.
Uncle David said nothing Perhaps
because he did not understand exactly
who or what SILLY and Chary-bodice''
might be, and wisely concluded to steer
clear of shoals. The irate old lady went
on:
"There's John Brumer, too, settin'
there all day by the fire, dOin' notnin' but
pore over little mite of dOctorin' book
= HOme-pathee' he calls it-and take
specks of pills not bigger'n pinhead :;
jest as if they could do anybody any
good "-and the old lady glared up into
the air as if there was d man up there,
and she expected him to controvert this
covert condemnation, and was prepared
to knock him out of time Immediately if
he did. Finding that no answer made its
appearance, however, she looked down
upon the placid Uncle David and contin-
ued:
"You needn't tell me, David; s'posen
he IS your old friends son, an is rich,
an pays well for his board. That amt
no reason why he should sit down an
give himself up to notions, an make up
his mind he's got cancers on his liver an
goom-biles in his stomach, and don't
know what ailing him besides. 'Tain't
nothin' the matter with him but magma
ton, believe, an if he was told of it
'twould do him more good'n all his home
pathee, | know. He's jist as we'll as
I, - 1.
strong young Teller like him got TO have
narves, anyway? An then he won't take
nOthin' to do him any good. | fixed him
up nice bowl of boneset tea, an he
wouldn't take it, but swallered an extra
dose of them little pills inste'd." And
being now pretty we'll out of breath Aunt
Hepsey rested her case and fixed her eyes
upon the clouds, as though giving her
opponent in the air one more chance to
come to time. Uncle David, taking adj
vantage of the pause, cut in ahead and
said:
Now, Hepsey, don't be so hard on the
young man. | guess he's sick, and we
ought to have more charity" old
Uncle David; just as if he did not have
charity for ybody)-" for him than we
DO. You know he amt got no mother,
nor no father, nor no friend, anyway
leastwise," the old gentleman added,
thoughtfully, as he rubbed the end of his
nOse-a trick he had" leastwise, none
that will do him any good; plenty of
them wild tellers he knows-too many of
'em for his good"
What is the man talking about?" in
terrupted Aunt Hepsey, apparently much
incensed at her failure to extract a reply
from the clouds. Its more'n two wear
since he's been with any of them wildcat
chaps, an it's my opinion that if he'd
kept away from 'em in the first place he'd
a been tough now inste'd of havin' to take
so many of them little pills to brace him
up. Umph! the idee of them things
bracin' anybody up"
BY the glances she cast heavenward it
was evident the good lady was firmly per-
suaded this would fetch the answer she
expected If anything would, and, fgura-
lively speaking, she prepared to leave it
not leg TO stand on. Uncle David
rubbed his nose slowly and said nothing.
There's Kate, too. When we took her
in an adopted her, an made as much of
her as If she was our own dead baby come
to lite"-a tear here glistened in the old
lady's eye" we expected she wouldn't
make us no trouble nor nothin.' Now
look at her, | say, coming home from
church only last night and that Tom
Jones with her; he wearin' a mustache,
too, and his father a deacon in the
church" This last seemed particularly
dreadful to Aunt Hepsey Uncle David
calmly smoked his pipe, rubbed his nose,
and, somehow, didn't seem at all horri,
fed.
"There, there, Hepsey. don't"
THAT'S jist like you, David Cummings;
you wouldn't fret if the earth should cave
in. Next you know that gal will be a-git-
tin married; gals are so foolish nowadays
that they don't know what they want or
what's good for 'em neither"
"'Bout the same as they used to be,
Hepsey; jist about the same, for what
see Better let 'em alone, an it'll all
come out straight, | guess" and Uncle
David went off to the barn to see to things,
while Aunt Hepsey went into the house,
first looking carefully around to see if
that answer was in sight anywhere.
She was far from being in as calm
frame of mind as Uncle David about both
John and Kate. The former worried her
with endless new diseases he was just
going to have, and endless new medicines
he was just taking to cure them; homeo-
pathic medicines, too, which she couldn't
see any sense or use in. The latter troub-
led her far more in the fear of her getting
married, and especially to that "Tom
Jones with a mustache." Aunt Hepsey