, 1874-06-14

eut, in which be made q great mistake, as al
empires do. But his patent medicine posseasol
the merit OF perfect harnlessuess, which few ot
the nostruns OF to-day share. As q rnle. in this
enlightened day. the more vulgar ingredients
are dispensed with.
THE T. ELIXIR OF LIFE"
for which we pay $3.50 q bottle is not composed
OF tho startling elements found in the eauldron
Of the witches OF y ''Macboth':
Eye Of newt and too OF frog,
Nnnl of bat and tongue Of dog,
Addrrs fork and biind-wotm'a sting,
Lizards leg and owlet's wing,
Liver Of blasphemtng Jew:
Gall Of goat and Hlips OF yeW
6uycred In the moons eclipse,
Nose Of Turk md Tartar's ips-
We have outgrown these vulgar superstitions.
The newspapers have aided in banishing them,
and even if patent coald bo obtained for such
3 compound, tho faithful people could scarcely
be induced to pour the contents OF q bottle Of
this precious mixture down their thToats. 1t
might sor7e as pain-killer more potent than
that Of Perry Davis, but reading the label alone
would produce the effect. This is par excellence
scientific age. At any rate VIC tell one another
it Is, and that answers the purpose
as well ns If it were true. We
must have our drugs served up in dog-latin, in
abbreviated forms and with undecipherablo hero
glyphics- And tho moro trying the name, the
more potent the bill. nostrnm for
HEPAT1o sTrMULAT1oS"
would meet with reader safe than mere liver
pill, although the one were composed of sepia,
hick dust, and sugar, favored with little gem
tian root. It is all in the name.
The faith OF mankind i'll patent medicines has
been carefully educated. As matter
Of fact faithh is one Of those; delicate
Ivy i il cannot abide the elaro Of day.
To produce q healthy specimen Of faith. the
penetrating rays of curious reason must be BAN
ished. And to do this requires persistence,
ehrewdness, and money. especially money. The
marvellous power OF any particular uostrum
must bo brought out By wood cut or better, By
4 BRACE OF wooD-curs.
giving glimpse of what mankind would be, and
too often is. without this heayenFent remedy
the companion picture showing the change
which has come over tho patient By the use Of
four or FIVE bottles. In addition to these cuts,
there must bs collection OF letters from grate-
full patients pouring out thanks for their restor-
alton to life and health, and giving in detail
the amount and cost OF tho medicines
they have taken, Then the newspapers must bo
brought in. Standing notices arc ordered at so
much line, from cent in Calumet to dollar
in Chicago, and 10 cents in religious publica-
tions. A man ta}es up the paper Mondar. and
the first thing he secs is "Bottlefllor's lnYigor-
1tor" followed by notice Of from ten to fifty
The first remark ia ''Iho papers are getting
moro stupid every dav. There's that beastIy
DottleGller again." A month later
HE Is CONVERT
to Bottlef1er, buys bottle Of tho "nvigor-
ator," aud feels that he is-bccauEe he ought to
And so on.
To keep notices standing in all the principal
newspapers in the United States. including tho
country paper and the religious weekly, requires
money. Indeed, it needs . fortune: The ma
ent medicines, but ono cannot assal them at
once. Every man has his tuno and the adver-
tisemcnt must be in long before the advertiser ia
sure Of SUCCESS. Hence, while it is tho easiest
thing in life to compound few drugs, call the
mixture By long name, and fill, label, and
pack thousand gallons Of it, it is not SO
easy q matter to dispose Of it. Kindly
nature hns provided credulous humanity with
d safeguard against the quacks. OF 1000 who
sail ant unon q sca of ,nyieorants. aItcratives
and pain-kIle1s. ali but one founder
in mid-ocean. The survivor is rewarded. Thus
our stdelicate constitutions, which at oertain
uooeona of tha vaar ara nrnno In tha rov.1aa ~
! ficSlo climate and extremes Of temneratn9e nm
known in any other habitable quarters of TIM
world etc rs The circulars sav arc saved tho
;nfIict,on of n vast jnun1ation Of mci;;c;ncs
This ahovs
ruE DIFFICULTY OF poru1.RH1So 4 COMPOUND.
1rnr1ist in this c;tv- lint no man conid hono ~
7nccend who conid mt mo1fo nrof;t of NJ ieoat
1f0 ner cent an his nostrurn. The e1nan.e ~
adyartisinr wonid cobble 40 ner cant ieorino
.ha balance for Icritimnta eynanses and - fai1
marcin Of profits. Let thoso Who think thcv a
,a, dando tta a1nor;con rcona ran,ar,,a- ti,;,s
md hsatata hafnre nernntrat;nr t,a ann-a;tr 10
, r.ton. rne1;c,na poA 'A' 0Do1 1''S5 VI
f'-S>''1' -'4' T,,r vrnv x.>.r
,bou}a excite snsnicion. Orioina,v tha nra-
IL cyn1ained thnt tho dscoverar n
.a,naJ1 10 a,r,;od ~ +,,a ~. d
nat .gtppat; ;nt 'etu eu
,ra ratar +ha nroGto 5,ala T., ~
,ari,, o-+e,ero-s a1 nlaao ~ tn9
~ o+ars bt e snd W IN nston4 ssnaa.eo
,ecanoa so numerous that nratectinn wac I,ro
ncrelv ascrintIra or sr r'4t,e ttat
,neW what they wcTa nada Ar''4nt' -; ''4A' 1ooooy
wEi1-sTocKrn nnno-sronv
ontains betweon Hoo and fo> rarioiia, =, 4hos
Decial remedies. They r,1n from corn.n',a+oro
y sa1ar a-d as,o 1,oS;,;,,na @ tm totH-p!as1ers
,,+uo,+u. r,n11,u -, ~ -1..S-4: 145ay W