Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-10-01
miscellaneous.

talk.
A highly intellectual dog-The
type-setter.
A man who has no mind will not
change it.
Job boiled over when his patience
gave way:
Horse thieves in Texas are sere-
naded by string bands.
A polite way of putting it: Troubled
with chronic indisposition to exer-
ton.
Eight Connecticut young ladies
have just taken the veil. They were
hopelessly freckled.
When Maryland doctor spells il
"accufortus" is it any wonder that
patient dies on his hands?
A small boy forgot and asked his
father for ''chaw Nv tubaccer," the
other day, and is now very reticent on
the subject.
The North Adams Chinese Band
practices with such assiduity that the
town bids fair to become depopu-
lated.-BOStoa Globe.
Brooklyn is pious place. Even
the saloon keepers quote scripture
One of them has for a sign: "Why
halt We between two opinions"
A negro insisted that his race was
mentioned in the Bible. He said he
heard the preacher read about how
'Nigger Demus wanted to be born
again"
An actress in California, Miss
Kinlin, lately married professional
named Wood, and her stage name is
now hyphenated into Mime. Kinlin-
Wood.
An Omaha paper advises the peo-
pie mot to make such a fuss about
the shooting of one constable, as
there are over forty candidates for
the Office"
Two Rochester men rowed boat
around in a circle for three hours un-
der the idea that they were going
down the bay, and yet Rochester is a
temperance town.
Now is the time when the irrespon-
sible urchin glueth the house fy's
wings together and walketh him
against time around the nose of his
sleeping grandfather.
An Alabama paper states that the
hogs in Walker county, in that State
are dying of disease of the brain.
They ought to keep their hogs from
studying so hard then.
Indiana thrashing-machines are
hashing off legs and arms with
promptness and dispatch, and occa-
sionally leaving a handsome widow
for posterity to take to candy pulls
next winter.
1t is not an uncommon observation
that man who is continually talking
about his 'ceaseless yearnings after
righteousness" can't get trusted at a
grocery store as quick as. man who
swears.
Bret Harte is said to be constantly
hard up. Such, however, is genius.
Exchange. If being hard up consti-
tutes genius, we have some spells of
remarkable brilliancy.--NilWawkee
Sentinel.
Last year he was worth 100000.
Then he began to drink whisky and
seltzer, and now he's a pauper.
Where these ravages of seltzer are
going to cease the most prescient of
us cannot tell.
The Detroit Free Press man has
just returned from Saratoga. He
says: "The Saratoga bellies merely
taste food at the table, but fee the
walters to bring a square meal up
the back stairs"
There is a parrot on State street
that cries "Stop thiefr' 1t takes four
policemen to keep the sidewalk clear,
as every native feels he has a person
al invitation to tarry.-MiIDaukee
Sentinel.
E. H. Weston, the funny man of
the Lancaster N. H Republican,
submits the pronunciation of "Eras-
tus Richardson" as being a test
whether man is drunk or not. 'Ras-
sus Risson," he says, won't do.
It's awful lonesome in Mexico Just
now, and tears trickle down the faith
er's cheeks as he takes his son on his
knee, and tells him how the country
used to be blessed with revolution
about every two weeks.
When lovely Susan stopped to folly,
And found that Bessie would betray,
She shrieked a shrek, and swore by
gOlly,
That she could whip her any day.
Detroit Press.
When welI-known Omaha thief
meets a policeman and hands him
five dollars, it is the duty of the Off
Ger to go and sit down in an alley and
see nothing for the next half hour
nothing but the five dollrrs.--Free
Press.
When the Arkansas census-taker '
next goes around he will find Peter
Dayton missing from earth. The old
man found package and threw it on
the fire to see if it was powder or
sand. 1t wasn't tsand-Detroit Free
Press.
A Miss O'Reilly appeared at a
Kentucky ball recently in a pink and
blue silk, and an admiring Jenkins
wrote: at seemed as if the hines of
her native skies draped in contented
admiration their fieecy folds around
herr'
An Iowa lady has presented her
husband with three boys and a girl
at birth. He doesn't seem to enioy
the proud eminence he occupies, and
looks like a man who would just as
lief "step down and out" if he knew
where to go to.