Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1874-01-08
Oh Rum, What Hast Thou Done :

Oh Rum, What Hast Thou D0ne2
MIR. and Mrs. Phrye are young
couple, with good prospects and snug
home. The only indication of a shadow
on their hearth has been growing
habit of drink on the part of Mr.. Phrye.
This has been the cause of many heart
aches to Mrs. Phrye, and much uneasi-
ness to the friends of the couple. At
first Mr.. Phrye could not be brought to
realize the power liquor was obtaining
over him, but upon the earnest and con-
tnued persuasion of his wife he finally
promised to abstain from the use of all
intoxicating liquors. Itwasat this happy
time that the West street church gave
an entertainment. 1t was a social
gathering and was largely attended.
Mr.. and Mrs. Phrye with several neigh
bors went. Mr.. Phrye sent his wife
aheadwith her friends, while he went to
the barber shop, and was to rejoin them
after his shave. With this understanding
Mrs. Phrye started, first reminding him
in whisper of his promise, and implor-
ing him not to go off with that Joe
Goodson. Mr.. Phrye pressed her hand
In deep affection and faith, and went to
the barber shop. From the BARRIERS
hands he went directly to the church,
and took seat with his party. Upon
seating himself he leaned over to the
lady on his left to make some remark
when he was startled by the expression
of her face, the stare gave him, and the
observation she emitted which was,
"Ohw He instinctively turned to his
wife for an explanation, and was struck
dumb by the look of horror on that
lady's face, "Oh, George!.' the ex-
claimed, and her lips trembled "What
on earth is the matter?" he whispered.
81 never expected it of you," she re-
piled by way of explanation, at the same
hiding her face in her handkerchief to
smother a sob. "And at church, too"
said the other lady, reaching for her
handkerchief. 1T seems as if my
heart will break" sobbed Mrs. Phrye,
In further explanation of the trouble
ST was afraid it would come to this"
said the other lady with some degrees of
confidence. go, DEAR" sobbed Mrs.
Phrye. Poor Mr.. Phryel At every
outburst he would turn to the one max
ing it and stare in blank amazement.
" Maria, he finally gasped, but still in
a whisper, for fear of the ears of the
audience, "what in the name of heaven
has got into you and Mrs. Ferguson?
What have / done % Mrs. Phrye
sobbed, and Mrs. Ferguson groaned.
"Good heaven am / out of my rea-
son p demanded the afflicted man,
staring at the ceiling, and confirming his
voice to the apparent detriment of his
chest. Another sob and groan, with a
feeble intimation from Mrs. Phrye that
death would be a welcome guest to her.
Mr.. Phrye looked about for something
with which to destroy his life, but not
succeeding in finding it, relapsed into a
fever heat and increased perspiration.
81 would have rather met your cold
corpse" explained Mrs. Phrye, in a
broken voice, ethan to see you in such
a state" "What state?" howled the
miserable man. Yes, indeed" sobbed
Mrs. Ferguson, and having discharged
a sacred duty with this remark she dis
appeared behind her handkerchief
What stated" again howled Mr.. Phrye.
" In such a state of liquor. o, heaven
o, dear!' sighed Mrs. Phrye. At this
charge Mr. Phrye raised himself nearly
five inches from his chair. "Maria,
what do mean ?" he demanded, "What
do yOu mean, you had better ask ?" re-
piled the wretched woman. 'Ihaven't
drank a drop, so help me" "Oh,
hear the perjurer !" cried Mrs. Fergu-
son, In whisper of horror. st am no
perjurer," protested Mr.. Phrye; 81
hain't drank drop:of liquor this day."
Both ladies appeared from behind their
handkerchisfs and appeared to be very
much impressed by his earnestness.
"But you smell dreadfully of rum"
faltered his wife. "Well, there amt
been no rum near me-" he asserted,
"unless, and his face suddenly light
ed" unless it is bay rum at the bar
ber's." "Oh, that's it, that's it."
shouted both of the delighted ladies in
chorus. "How could I have been so
unjust ?" said the happy Mrs. Phrye,
squeezing his arm. 81 thought all
along it couldn't be possible that Phrye
would do such thing" confessed the
pleased Mrs. Ferguson. And so the
threatening clouds broke away and the
cheerful sunshine came in like food
upon the little party, and when Mr..
Phrye was undergoing his next shave
and the barber reached for the bay rum,
he Just waved his hand, and said, "Not
by dams height, Mr.. French" And
no more bay rum does Mr.. Phyre use,
and the five cents thus saved is relig-
iously devoted to the heather. Dan