Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-03-05

ing ID with horrible smell of burn
gunruGder.
"WAy. old friend Jop' cried Satan
throwlng his claws abont him, anG
breathing snlphnrous smoke in hi:
lace. there at last. old hoy, eh2'' and
at the same time giving him friend
o ly hug with his tail. "Glad to set
yoai You have done well-played
the r9igious dodge to perfection,
/: and fT so many years!-hal hsl'
"FGt is, your Satanic Msjesty,''
said 10, al didn't mean to come inst
Fet-eft my earthly affairs in an un-
settled condition. NY property will
go to ths d-l-beg pardon. meant
TO saS shat my family will Beun-
provided for, unless I go back to
: earthto settle my business.
want to go hack to earth,' said
Satan "well, well, yon have been a
good and faithful servant. and I'll
see what can be done. But Whist 8
'hisf' said Satan. top Of your head
gomez Bless me, how odd you
look! moral works all gone! hal hal
ion ean't go back to earth in that
shape"
"Tiat's just it." said 10, 81 want
to get fixed up for few years-new
top head"
Can construct skull for you."
said Satan, "bnt won't put the moral
works in again; you might give me
the Sip"
We'll" said 10, ''fix up my skull
respectable like, and I'll trnst to
luck to get it filed up"
''Nnst make one stipulation, said
Satan.
"What is that?"
That you will not let certain par
Ties that shall name occupy any
part of your reconstructed skull"
"What parties are thew"
"You see your head is of just
above Destructiyeness, as the phre-
nologists call it,"
"Weil?"
"There is big space to be filled, if
| reconstruct your sknll on the old
plan"
Exactly" said 10, sand there
are parties waiting TO occupy it,
There's the rub" said Satan;
NOV Ill name such parties as must
not be permitted to occupy it,"
HGo on" said Jo
"Well. to hegin with, there's Cau-
tiousness | don't want any eau
tiousness in your head; You might
have ruined great many more young
men if you had not been so cautious
abont the consequences Next are
Sp.iimity and ldeality. Though
Ideally leads few astray in the
matter Of extravagant dressing, I
know she is my enemy. Poets, ar
lists, the best writers of all ages,
employ Ideality and Sublimity in the
conception and finishing of the best
productions. Sublimity was old John
Millions right bower in the construc-
ton of Paradise Lost, in which he
painted me in such forbidding colors
I'm not particular friend of Sub
Unity"
"Well, what more1"
"There's Conscien tiousness. On
no consideration must Conscientious
ness occupy place in your
head. That faculty has caused me
more trouble than all the rest. It's
always interfering with man who
undertakes to serve me. Says Pope:
'What conscience dictates TO be done
Or warns me not to do,
This, teach me more than hell to shun,
That, more than heaven pursue.'
No, no; Conscientiousness must not
be admitted. It's the still, small
voice If I could have my way. I'd
leave that faculty ont of every child
that's born"
"You are making a good many va
cancies. ANY more?'
"Yes, there's Hope. / don't want
you to let Hope have even desk-room
in your head. It's always retarding
the lost sinners progress. AS the
poet says
Hope springs eternal in the human
breast
Just as ! think I've got sinner sure,
Hope breathes into his soul an en-
couraging word, snd away goes my
sinner toward the gates of Para
disc"
"Surely." said 10, shat is enough
of the old occupants to exclude from
my reconstructed head"
"No. no." said Satan, H'm not
through yet. Human Nature must
be excluded | ruin people, and es-
pecially young people, by hiding my
motives; and your young man or
young woman who has Human Ma
ture divines these motives, and | lose
my prize
"Still more exclasionsp"
ayes; Venerstion must be shut
out. Respect for parents and vene-
ration for the Supreme Being are bad
for me. 1t costs word of trouble
to counteract their influence when
they have taken root in childhood
Benevolence, too, must be excluded,
unless. indeed, it be so very large
that a man will cheat and lie and
steal for the purpose of having means
wherewith to exercise his Benevo-
lence; but this is 80 rare that think
it had better be excluded"
81 hope you are near the end of
your prescription" said 10.
"One more" answered Satan, "and
very important one. 1t is Spirit
nality. On no account allow Spirit
uality to cross the threshold of your
brain. It's very Jacobs ladder to
heaven, and oncefirmly ensconced in
man brain, I may as well abandon
him."
as that the end?"
."That will do; do not think that
what good will be left can possibly