The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1874-03-11
SCRAPS.
A great hardship = !:

a great uafusAip AL 1oL
steamer.
AS twice eleven is twenty-five
how can twice ten be twenty too
A poor family in Green Bay hac
to mortgage their six dogs las
I week to get a barrel of flour. The
case is pitiable.
The great difference between
Byron and Burns in early youth
was that the one was a Harrow boy
and the other plowboy.
Waynesbororgh, Pa, boasts Of
a'haunted distiIlery, which is just
the place where one would natural
ly look for spirits.
A malicious person says that cot,
ton sheets and newspaper sheets
are alike in the respect that great
many people lie in them.
A dog with two tails was seen in
Germantown the other day. One
belonged to an OK, and was carried
in the mouth of the canine.
A Sioux city hotel has a black
and tan dog that killed thousand
rats in.a month. This good puff
for the dog, but is hard on the ho-
tel.
An exchange says: "Keep an eye
out for the early resumption of
payment" Both of our eyes are
already out looking for it, and so
are car elbows.
A pack of wolves in Sherbourne
County, Minnesota, chased couple
of lawyers five miles, and the New
Orleans Republican thinks it
showed a lack Of professional cour-
lesy.
A San Franciscoan being annoy
ed by mudpuddle in the street,
reported that he had lost a so
piece therein, whereupon the pool
was speedily emptied by eager
seekers after the money.
Some one has been looking over
the records of the Legislature Of
West Virginia and finds that at its
last session it passed a law ''to pre-
vent the owners of hogs from run
ming at large"
An editor, who speaks with the
air Of a man who has discovered a
new fact by experience, says that
the new way to prevent bleeding at
the nose is to keep your nose out of
other peoples business.
A lady teacher inquired of the
members of q class Of juveniles if
any Of them could name the four
seasons. INSTANTLY the chubby hand
Of a fve-year-old was raised, and
promptly came the answer, ''Pep-
per, salt, vinegar and mustard. "
An Elston, Pa, editor growls
because the water company Of that
place give with every gallon Of
Green water from half dozen to q
dozen iish." He wants a dozen
:Gash oysters with that quantity Of
.~ager. Some persons can never get
enough for their money. "
Said Lord John Russell to Hume,
at a social dinner, ."What do you
consider the object of legislation ?"
1.-The greatest good to the greatest
number "What do you consider
the greatest number p continued
his lordship. "Number one, my
ord" was the commoner's prompt
reply.
A sailor dropped out of the rig
Ing Of a ship Of war, some fifteen
;" twenty feet, and fell plump upon .
:ho head of the first lieutenant.
q Wretch p said the officer, after
he had gathered himself up, "where
;.e deuce did you come from -
An, sure I came from the North
o Ireland, yer honor"
a Frenchman, condemned to ,
d4ath for numbering his wife and /
child without extenuating circum-
stances, demurred to the sentence,
because capital punishment had
o.ea aholished in France for politi-
20. o6enses, and he had killed his
1l,1e I'D child for no other reason
But oevanse they were Legitimists. :
Tie Danville, VT, North Star .
sa,= A few of our subscribers c
;a,aoa to being called "whelps,"
.>&aa.-s.' . ETC., on so conspicuous &
- -'..@.4 as il postal card, we hav- q
IT.. a>ontiy adopted the cheap rates !
.1"tage to remind them OF their =
.ti@,encies and failings. The ma 3
.ri.g, however, have got so accus- t
,ne5 to it that they rather like the f
Ecty. So. ~.. 80 ..... ..., v
They tell of the urbane Presi- ..
;ent Of a local legislature out West v
v,o remarks persuasively, "Gen- y
!pnen, l call you to order," and il
N huNs bricks at every man in
l.. room. The locality will become
..2ilized in due time, however, and e
- have no doubt that those dam c