Litchfield enquirer., 1874-10-22
CLIPPINGS.

Domestic broils make unsatisfactory meals.
 The Iceland celebration is said to have passed of with great Hecla.
 What is better than promising young man:-A paying one.
 A good opportunity never waits. If you Rre n2t ready some one else will be. Mrs. Shoddy has just returned from Paris, where she stopped to furnish her house with articles of bigotry and vir- tua."
 Let your motto be "Liberty or Death;" and if it comes to the pinch, take the most of it in liberty.
 No Brooklyn man who thinks anything of himself ever sues for less than S1OO, 900 when suing for libel.
 The theory that heat generates motion Is demonstrated by the boy who acci- dentally sits down on a peace of lighted punk.
 Where is my little darling going to if she is good?" asked Danbury mother yes- terday morning. up to New Haven" prattled the little fiaxen-haired innocent, pointing up with her tiny index finger.
 A smart young lady (but she will play cardsl wrote Q note to nice young man, the other day. thsu: :'Come and play you- eur this evening"" She meant euchre. hut the simple-minded youth "got mad' about it.
 ''I want to know" said creditor. nefcely, ''when you are going to pay-me what you owe me?" "I give it up," repli- ed the debtor, :. ask me something easy" Dear ma" said good old lady, who was unable to keep up with her work. II shall be glad when I get into Eternity. so @s to have plenty of time for everything" ''I tell you what. said Troy widower, @s he spat out of the window, "it seems awful when | think Sary's down in fine ground instead of being around to dry apples"
 \ Wicklow male ghost appeared to his widow. ''rm in purgatory at this pres. ent. says he. "An' what sort of place is it2' says she. ''Eaix, says he, "tis a sort of halfway house between you an heaven. an l stand it mighty aisS afther lavin' you"
 \ young lady wishing a situation WAS interested m an advertisement for some one to do light housekeeping. So she wrote to the advertiser asking where the lighthouse was, and if there was any way ofgetting to shore on Sunday.
 An Oxford undergraduate was asked to point ont which were the greater and which were the lesser prophets. For e moment this was poser to the young hopeful. He soon rallied, however, and answered. with great sdelibe eration: q never like to make intidious distinctions.
 X couple of old Changers were in town for the first time, the other day; after closely scrutin zing fire!plug, and vainly trying to get water out of it, turned away with the remark that che didn't think much of these new-fangled pumps, any. how. "-NoTristOtC1 Hcrakd.:.,
 4 lawyer. on circuit in Ireland, who vas pleading the canse of an infant plan tih. took the child up in his arms and pre-. sented It to ths.ihry, saffased mifk tears. This had . great effect, until the opposite lawyer asked tbe. child what made him cry. ''He pinched nel' answefed the lit
 
 During the last five, years. houses. and farms by the scorav have been abandoned in Windham and other Vermont counties. They are located in sections remote from railroad communication. The" town Q, Halifax has thirty three abandoned farm houses; WIlmingham, twenty five; Whit ingham. thirty; and so on.a .s~.aa.., :.
 .ses-ses'-.. g: .s,.r ri. .ss.f T
 The order directing policemen, whethe on or of duty, never to appear on tn, streets unless in uniform, don't find fayo with tho policemcn's wives. Mrs. Dog berry says that now she can't take a quie evening stroll without their being followed by the sympathiziug glances of the crowd and by a score of dirty tirchins, inuuiriri, what she's beon taken up for. ~ s.s
 Widow Jones's husband died far ava, from home, and it toek so long for his re maines to reach her, that the reiict Ina quite recovered from her grief. and WWa, giving large lunch party when the bod, finally arrived. A wagon drove up to .fh, door, and large box was handeds nst Curiosity ran high alnong the ladies "a, the window, and with one accord thev- av claimed. s.WhH Mrs. Jones', what ea, , that be?" Up went Mrs. Jones's eye-class ea, and after glance, she cooily ssaid Well, it must be old Jones come. homa nhar1sa Ksxv 1oxwp and nv.ay, kl,, 1<-- e