The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-12-27
THE CORRUPTION AT WASHINGTON.
Washington Correspondence Chicago Times, 2ad
inst.1

THE INTERIOR OF THE INTERIOR DEPARTMENT
has yet to receive the Augean scrapings Of Con
gression1 investigation. Look out for nue.
loose within it's various bureaus. There has BEEF
plundering in the Indian division pillaging il
the patent office; stealing under the lant
agency, and robbing in all the other sections, biz
| and little, of this most UNANIMOUSLY managed de
partment If I could only stack up epi:hets to
level with the loot which has been accrued by
Delano, his family, and certain of his associates
should appal photographers aud gangrene
thesaurus-makers. The next Congress lie certain
to jerk the rogues into the plory Of the nations
hatred, and Grant will have another chance tc
prove his adhesiveness to his friends. Swayne
or some Of the other Chief Justices, will then be
dead or shelved, and DelanO can be squatted on
the Supreme bench. He would make q better
rors in his house, he ought now to know rogue
| when no sees him.
This may be generalizing. We have all, how.
ever. only to possess our souls in patience, and
wait for Congress where two-thirds Repubi-
can majority no longer exists to defeat every at
Tempt at inqulring into Delano's badness. The
specific cases will then be thick as the aces and
bowers in All Sins sleeves. For starter, the
next House can look into the Indian supply bust
| ness. Why rascally agents on the frontier incite
| wars every year that themselves and their Wash
ington partners may accrue mammoth profits,
will be a job for one committee to study. How
the enormous annual appropriations for the In
dams are mainly gobbled by there agents and
| enough to keep another committee from growing
rusty. The money made illicitly by Commission
| ers Of Patents the villainous system which al.
lows an out going commissioner to appoint his
successor; the rank favoritism, meanness, and
corruption which poisons the entire Patent Blu
reau will suffice to keep q third investigating
committee in lively operation. Meanwhile, as
we wait for the dawn, we can do no
better than follow the ancient custom Of
patient watchers, telling stories. This is old.
yet quite new, having never been spun.
LOST TRIBE.
Next to Delano, in rank and eeliness in the In
terror Department, is Assistant Secretary COwan.
A few years ago he was the chief mover in an
company, and as Cowan was one OF it's project
ors, OF course it was a company OF great promise.
After the money was procured, the great prom
ises were about all which were obtained in return.
The money was raised, but the elevator was not.
The only thing elevated was the company, which
went mile or two higher than the somewhat
historic Gilderoy's kite. Cowan then came to
Washington, poor man. He wriggled himself
into his present office, but was still poor. His
lodgings we're humble and his attire meek. The
COwan of then and the Cowan Of now was as q
dilapidated shrimp to q robust goldfish.
At certain session OF Congress, shortly after
the pensive Delano and the meek and lowly Cow
an had sort Of got the hang OF things at the inte
alton bill was considered and passed. The inte.
rior department had previously exhibited an ami
mated aptitude for discovering obscure and hith-
erto unknown tribes Of Indians, and getting
brawny appropriations for them. But it remained
for Delano and COwan to secure money for tribe
which never existed at all.
In the appropriation bill in question was .
clause voting several thousand dollars to q tribe
with name 30 peculiarly Indianish and jaw-tor-
turing that no good Congressman could for an in
okO <kn sroA "a
ance. That particular clause skipped through
both houses as briskly as white man running an
aboriginal gauntlet. The sing-song meters OF
''Hawatha" earned considerable lucre for Long
fellow, most famous father of imaginary Indians.
But Delano and Cowan's simple scheme Of in
venting copper hides and coming cash therefrom
laid the fertile poet out quite cold.
THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS TRIBE
were acknowledged to be somewhat uncertain at
the time. In order, however, to insure per-
fectly fair distribution of the fund, the sappy
Indian Commissioners Of the period concluded
to send two eminent and highly trustworthy
public officials out to find the vague tawny
jackets, and see that the money was honestly
ted? Nobody else than Messrs. Delano, and
C0wan. They needed a vacation. Wearing
attention to duty had impaired their health. In
no way could they unite service to their dear
country and relaxation from the carking cares OF
office better than in quest of those indefinite
but INDECENT Indians.
DOut along the fancy isothernal line OF the
Utopian Northern Pacific railway they jouneyed.
It was good country for that kind Of Indians.
They were absent al summer. Trappers and
explorers say that game is plenty, danger Ia in
existent, and dog-aay weather simply glorious
in that latitude. The travellers returned in the
fall. No money was ever convered into the treasury
from that appropriation The Indians in ques-
Catlin never catalogued them, and Felix Brnnot
never shook his handsome white head despair
ingly at the information that another barrel Of
bad whisky had been opened in their camp.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE RETURN
from the wilderness, the gentle Cowan built him
q house good TO look upon commodions. and
costly withal. He set up carriage, and other
wise torsOOk life among the lowly for the Rew
gaws and nice things Of luxury. Delano also let
himself out little in the way Of social spsurg-
ness in such irrelevant occurrences. There were
many impertinent remarks from uncharitable
lips to the effect that the Secretary and his as
sstant went ont in search of health and 0ysteri-
GUS Indians, but that they seemed to have fund
History hath it's variations of remarkable
quests, successful and unsuccessful the hunt
for the lost tribes OF Israel; Diogenes looking
for an honest man the pursuit Of the Holy
s'Japhet in Search Of His Father" and the hmt
for Charlie Ross. But there is tender moarn.
fitness in the spectacle OF DelaDo and Cowan
spending whole summer and . fat appzCpro-
priation, on the imaginary isothsrmal line Of
fictitious railway looking for tribe Of Indians
which never existed, that eclipses all quests. his
could rival it in dreamy interest and melancholy
fascination Of detail, would be that of congress
aional committee looking into the particulars of
this cheeky steal, and the swarm of others
Matched annually in the interior department.
GIDEON.
A ball in Santa Fee, Texas, was attended by
the members Of the best society in the place.
but an incident showed that border usages
are not confined to border rufians. George
Stone, the son of the leading lawyer. and
John Collier, the son of the leading physician,
were among the dancers; and Miss Townley,
regarded as the handsomest young lady in
Santa Fe, was there too. She is coquette,
and that night she accomplished the common
feminine exploit of making each of two adj
mirers believe that he was most agreeable
At last their attentions clashed, and, without
q word Of controversy, Collier drew his re-
volver and fred at Stone, the bullet making a