The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-08-11
How They do it in Illinois.

I was in Shawneetown, ILL.,, that the
Il very latest love story of the period was
enacted, and the hero was Tobias Skaggs.
The heroine was Martha Burlap, and this
happy couple are now enjoying the sweets
of their honeymoon in a manner becoming
and proper for newly married people in
Illinois. Tobias Skaggs was a Snowman,
and travelled over the country with old
John Robinson's circus. No hostler could
clean more horses in an hour, nor drive
circus wagon through a muddy country in
a dark night with fewer upsets or milder
swearing, nor carry away more ordinary
greater number of disconsolate chamber
maids in every town than Tobias Skaggs.
AS for Martha Burlap, she was twenty
two years old, and had thus far wasted
herself upon the masculines of Shawnee
town. She read all the story papers,
dreamed of lovers, but had none, and
with tenderness and sweetness - which
are the current names in Shawneetown for
beefsteak and corn bread. When there is
an affinity between two souls in Shawnee
town there is immediate sympathy and
love. Martha Burlap saw Tobias riding in
the grand procession dressed in yellow
jacket, pink trousers, long boots and zinc
helmet. 1t was Martha's ague day, and
she stood in the kitchen door with bottle
in her hand and the spoon in her mouth
when Tobias rode past. She saw his man.
ly form, his gay uniform, his flashing he'll
met, and she forgot the potatoes baking in
the oven and the eggs frying on the fire.
The smell of burning food brought Mrs.
Nibbs, the landlady, to the kitchen, and
her language brought tears to the gentle
eyes Of Martha. But her heart was with
the gallant man who rode the spawned
horse. When the members of old John
Robinson's circus were seated at the supper
table then it was that Martha Burlap saw
and felt that Tobias was indeed the man
for whom she had longed all these years of
her maidenhood. At supper he received
nicer beefsteak and hotter corn bread than
his fellows, and his cup was filled again and
again with coffee while others waited.
And she--well, she was rewarded with
free ticket to the show. When the show
came to an end, as all shows must, and
Martha started out in the moonlight for
that home of the homeless, the Wabash
House, she found strong arm offered
and hoarse voice asking the privilege of
becoming her escort, A half hour later
an impatient man was banging at the door
of a justice of the peace. The Justice was
prompt in the discharge of his duty, but
when he reached the Wabash House tho
bride was cooking farewell meal while
the groom was in the stable. He left his
horse, and she stopped cooking long
enough to join hands at the command of
the Justice. "Do you take this woman
to be your lawful welded wife2" said the
Justice. eyes, he does, you bet" was.
tbe prompt reply Of the bride. "Do you
take this man to be your husband, Mar
thaP' "Come now, squire, don't be.
foolish p said the lady, and the justice
pronounced them man and wife-"Wh
don't you kiss the bride ?" said a gruff
voice, and they saw the painted face of tho
clown through crack of the door. "You
shet up its none of your wedding" was
the ready answer of the bride, and it
brought down the house. But her finest
effort was displayed a moment later when
she snatched up ladle and ordered them
all out Of the kitchen till she was done
cooking.
The next morning Old John Robinson's
Circus lost man, and the Wabash House
lost maid but the drug store has added
another quinine customer to Its list, and
Shawneetown has gained new family.