davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23
TWO LIVES AT ONCE.

a French soldier, a sargent, was
wounded at the battle Of Bareilles. The
man was shot in the left parietal bone.
The bullet, presume, glanced of, but it
fractured the bone. He had enough
vigor left to send his bayonet through
the Prussian that shot him. Then be
wandered a few hundred yards out of the
village. where he was picked up and tax
en- to the hospital. where be remained
some time. When he came to himself,
as usual in such cases of injury, he was
paralyzed On the opposite side of the
body, that is to say, the right arm and
the right leg were completely paralyzed-
That state of things lasted, think, the
better part of two years, but sooner or
later he recovered from ii. and now he is
able to walk about with activity, and
only by careful measurement can any
difference between the two sides Of his
body be ascertained. At present this
man lives two lives, a normal life and an
abnormal life. In his normal life be is
perfectly well, cheerful, and capital
hospital attendant, does all his work
well. and is respectable. well conduct
ed man. The normal life lasts for about
seven and-twenty days, or thereabouts,
out of every month but for day or two
in each month-generally at intervals Of
about that time-he passes into another
| life, suddenly, and without warning ol
| intimation. In this life be is still &C
tive, goes about just as usual. and is Il
all appearance just the same man as be
fore goes to bed and undresses himself
gets up, makes his cigarette aud smoke
it, and eats and drinks. But in thi
condition he neither sees, nor hears, no
smells, nor is be conscious Of anything
whatever, and has only one sense -orgal
In state Of actiyity-Yiz-. that Of touch
which is exceedingly delicate. If 20
put an obstacle In his way be knocks Z
gainstit. feels it, and goes to the one side
If you push him in any direction be goe
straight On, illustrating. as well q
be can, the first law Of motion. 70
see have said be makes his cigarette
but you may make his tobacco Of sha'
ings or Of anything else you like, al
still he viii go On making his eigarett'
as usual His action is purely mechai
icaI. As ] said, be feeds yoraciousl
but whether you give him aloes or a
D safetida, or the incest thing possible.
: is ali the same 10 him.
; In this state be Is capable Of Perferl
ing all sorts Of actions on mere sugge
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23
MARRIED FLIRTS.

1t is to be regretted that while socie-
ty commands and business compels that
rudeness be banished and harshness and
querulousness be repressed, yet in the
comparative retirement of home, greater
freedom is allowed; and there some
Lords of Creation display their tyran-
ny, while the amlable bellies of society
who, when bent on conquests, never for
get that, "a low, soft voice is an excel
lent thing in woman, yet here, on the
slightest provocation, speak in a tone
sufficient to arouse the seven sleepers,
while their Juniors are allowed the larg-
est license; and, in short, home is treat
ed somewhat as we do rainy days, when
we sally out in our worst habiliments
and feel in our surliest mood.
Does the charming Lillian Matilda
esUT Iuruer4bor, tho ho1ey--.eeA@ ba,siirsy
passed. as she languidly takes her place
at the breakfast table, with her hair in
curl papers, crumpled collar, and morn
ing-robe looking as though washing was
included among the lost arts. the time
when Mysteries would have ensued should
her intended have CHANGED to find her
in such dishabille?
Does she imagine, as, with petty gos-
sip, continuous murmuring. or angry
words about trihes, she taxes her hus-
bands patience, that human affection
can withstand all shocks. or love and re-
spect never be destroyed? 1t certainly
never occurs to her, as, with loftiest dis
dain, she addresses her servants, pays
no attention to their wants or sorrows,
and looks upon them merely as beings
permitted to live merely to serve her,
that ''Of one blood God created all the
nations of the EARTH" and that "all We
are brethren Nor does Adolphus
Charles remember the rules laid down
in cOurting days, as company being abb
sent, he leisurely smokes his cigar in
the cosy parlors and labOrs under the
delusion that carpets were woven for
spittoons,
1t is manifestly unknown to him that
mantel-pieces were not intended for foot
stools. neither were boot-jaeks originally
designed for parlor ornaments.
He is disposed to forget that loud
yawning is not considered essential to
good breeding; and that magnanimously
to surrender your favorite newspaper OF
magazine to some relative is cardinal
virtue. And it must be confessed that
when unkindly declaring that his wife:
new bonnet is "a perfect fright, and
her taste incomparably inferior to Mrs.
Jones'-her coffee denominated nausea.
ting" and her fayorite pudding per
fectly disgusting" his opinions have
changed, although she may really have
improved in dress and household man
agement since the time when all sh,
wore was declared lovely and he
cooking Irresistible. ''-"Homae Polite
ness IN Phre1aoLoqicai Journal
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

"WHEN THE Cows CONE HoME." -
Many of our farmers have wasted years
Of valuable time just because they did
not teach their cows TO come home at
night ANY ono who has lived or trav-
elled in the country viii remember the
familiar .-Co-bos. Co bos. 90 Of the far
mers' son or hired man. as he endeayors
TO coax the cows from the pasture. We
have had little experience in these
matters. and we'll remember how many
times we have waded through the brush
and bogs looking for the cows. and, boy
like, We thought them dreadfully contra
ry animals but We have lived long
enough TO learn better, and now think
the biped was the more contrary animal
Of the two. Boys, we will tell you a
secret that will save you great trouble,
and it is this /: Every time the cows are
driven up at night or in the morning
give them good lick Of meal or bran,
and our word for it the cows will always
be on hand at milking time. Besides
this, they will give more milk. and for
get to kick over the milk pail, even il
you do whistle little too loud.-Beu
/ York O5seyrer.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

SLANG PHRASES AMONG YoUTH.-The
young misses and ladies whose gramnat-
ieal inaccuracies and slang phrases, such
as MY gracious p .'oh, goodness !" are
allowed to escape unnotieed at home,
must submit to be severely criticized in
good society, or else be doomed to con-
slant anxiety IN their efforts to play pro-
priety.
The young gentleman who lolls in the
easy chair, and invariably takes the CO.
siest corner by the freside; neglects TO
take off his squeaking boots when visit
ing the siek-room Of some suffering rela-
tire. or to accompany his sisters once in
three months TO the concert or lecture
which they are longing to bear. viii new
er be perfect gentleman unless some
millennial wave rolls over him. As FOR
the poor relations who inhahit the attic
chambers, mend the home linen, and
serve as kind Of ''pin-cushion int
which al the family annoyances are
thrust-what plea shall We offer fo'
them ? or what preceprenforce except t.
1 enforce that patience have It's perfec
work 2'-"Home Politeness" IN Psre
saol1gicot Journal
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23
A LITERARY CURIOSITY.

lady occupied whole year in searching for and
and American poets The whole reads almost il it
had been written at time and by one author:
LIFE
Why ali this toll for triumps of an hourt IYoung
Lifes short summer-man is but a flower;
IDr. johnson.
By turns we catch the fatal breath and die Pope
The cradle and the tomb, alas nigh. Prior
To be is better far than not to be- TSeweH
Though all mans life may seem tragedy: TSpeneer
But light cares speak when mighty griefs dumb
Daniel
The bottom is but shallow whence they come
ISir Walter Raleigh
Your fate is but the fate of all; LongfeIow
CnminEled joys here befal; TSouthwen
Nature to each alots his proper sphere. ICongreve
Fortune makes folly her peculiar care; TChurchiu
Custom does not often reason overrule Rochester
And throw a cruel sunshine on a fool Armstrong
Live weIl-how long short permit TO heaven.
Milton
They who forgive most shall most be forgiven
bailey.
Sin may be elAsped close cannot see its face
fF-e44yl..
Vile intercourse where virtue has not place.
Tsomervile-
Theulkeep each passion down however dear,
thompson
Thou pendulum be1wixt a smile and tear; byron.
Her sensual snares let faithless pleasures lay,
IsmoIlet.
With craft and skill to ruin and betrsy. TCrabbe.
Soar too high 10 fall, but stoop to rise;
Massinger.
We masters grow of all that despise. ICrOwley.
o, then. renounee that npious selfesteem; TBeatte
Riches have wings and grandeur is dream.
ICowper.
Think not ambition wise because 'tis brave
(SIr Walter Davenant.
The paths OF glory lead only TO the grave Gray
What is ambition -Tis glorious cheat, Willis
Only destructive TO the brave and great Addison
What's all the CANDY glitter Of a crownl dryden.
The way 10 bliss lies not beds Of down.
lPrancis Quarles.
How long we live not wears but actions tel;
Watkins.
That man lives twice who lives the first life well
IHerrick.
Make then while Yet yOu may your God your friend.
Twm. Mason.
Whom Christians worship. Vet not comprehend
IHn
The trust that's given guard and yourself be just
Dana
For live we how may. Yet die We must,
FShSkespere,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23
To Be c0ltti1 i1sued.

What Am GOOD FoR Remember
the parable Of the talents-one had ten,
another FIVE, another two, and another
one. So it is among men to-day. Our
talent" )" may be compared with money,
with education, acquired art, natural
gifts, or with opportunity to do good If
We use our one, two, or five talents to
the best of our ability, We shall be ac-
cepted, and earn the approval of Him
who judges righteously. The comforting
words, We'll done, thou good and faith
ful servant, " will be set opposite our
names in the great book. whose records
give complete history Of each indlvid-
ual life. Are We so living to-day that
We can ask or hope for Gods blessing
on our course ? This is our right, our
privilege, our duty. We may count our
passing moments as unimportant, as they
may appear TO be uneventful- But time
flies" and We must fly to keep up, or be
left behind each second. ike the tick
of clock, makes its record. We do not
realize this until We come into middle
life or old age. when, if our time has
been frittered away, We are punished in
a ..hell'' Of regrets. for "lost time. lost
opportunity. .'-PtreaoIogtcal Journal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

The question Is often asked, Is the
Indian coward? The best answer is
that he is and he isn't, depending
upon the point from which We look
at him. He is trained to use strstagems
Of all kinds To entrap his foe. and never
to fight unless he has got the advantage,
all of which from the white mans point
of view is evidence Of cowardice. But
when We see how desperately the warrior
will fight when he is cornered. and the
stoicism with which he meets death when
come IT must. it Is impossible to call
him poltroon. There is this, too. that
makes the Indian wary. One of the
superstitions Of his race is that warrior
who loses his scalp enters not the happy
hunting grounds, and this. TOO. explains
why the Indians fight SO desperately to
carry of their dead. The plains Indians
win rarely fight On foot; never except
against dismoRnted men
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

Mr Bailey, the clever editor Of the
Danbury Bers. has recently returned
from scrutinizing journey through the
worm-eaten monarchics Of Europe, and
wherever be went be ferreted out things
about newspapers. He thinks that they
are rather slow concerns, are the London
dailies. They crowd their advertisers
into repulsiye limits they mix up their
matter without any regard 70 ciassihea-
ton they publish bu: a beggariy hand
ful ofAmerican news; they report IN
full the most Insignificant speeches; they
don't seem 70 realize that there is such
an attraction as condensed new para
grapbs they issue no sunday paper.
and bat one OF two have weekly !; they
ignore agriculture and science, personals
and gossip they carefully exclude all
/ humor and headlines. and come to their
readers every weekday sombre and
mournfull spectacle that Is most exasper-
a.iDg to behold"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

tion-as. for example, he dropped his
cane, and person near him put it into
his hands, and the feeling of the end of
the cane evidently produced in him those
molecular changes which, had he possess
ed consciousness, would have given rise
to the idea of his rife; for he threw
himself on his face, began feeling about
for his cartouche, went through the mo-
tions of touching his gun, and shouted
out to an imaginary comrade: Here
they are, a score of them; but We will
give a good account of them" In his
normal life he is one of the most upright
and honest of men. In his abnormal
state, however, he is an inveterate thief.
He will steal everything he can lay his
hands upon. and, fhe cannot steal any
thing else, he will steal his own things
and hide them away.-HuaIey.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

RATS on BOARD OF SHIPs.-Rats
greatly infest ships, and are carried by
them to all parts of the world. Sodili-
gently do they make homes for themselves
In the numerous erannies and corners in
the hull of a ship that it is almost i'm
possible to get rid of them. Ships take
out rats as well as passengers and cargo
every voyage whether the former remain
in the ship when in port is best known
TO themselves. When the East India
Company had ships of their own they
employed a rat-catcher, who sometimes
captured 800 rats in one ship just re-
turned from Calcutta. The ship rat is
often the black species. Sometimes
black and brown inhabit the same ves-
sci, and, unless they carry on perpetual
hostilities. the one party will keep to the
head Of the vessel and the other to the
stern. The ship-rat is very anxious that
his supply of fresh water shall not fail
he will come On deck when it rains. and
climb up the wet sails to suck them.
Sometimes he mistakes spirit eask for a
water cask, and gets drunk. A captain
of an American merchant ship is credit
ed (or diseredited) with an ingenious bit
of sharp practice as a means Of clearing
his ship from rats. Having discharged
cargo at port in Holland, be found his
ship injuxtapositiOn to another which
had just taken in cargo of Dutch cheeses.
He laid plank at night from the one
vessel to the other the rats, tempted by
the odor, trooped along the plank, and
begas their feast. He took care that
the plank should not be there 70 serve
them as pathway back again; and
50 the cbeese-laden ship bad a cruel ad-
dition to its outward cargo.-AH til
Year Roalud.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

Horton" | replied indiferently: and
then she left me to whisper and suggest
the same ideas to others. 1t was too
late-my darling's triumph was secure
she was undoubtedly the belle of the
bali. I never saw any one so much ad-
mired.
Sir Gerald led her down to the sup
per room. and made her promise to give
him the last dance of all. His face was
all aglow as he spoke to her. She never
once, child as she was, lost her quiet
sef-possession. although many girls in
her place would have been half-intoxi-
Gated with such triumph.
Miss Adelaide Horton, who had hith-
erto seemed to consider the Baroner as
her own peculiar property, after time
continued the assault her mother had
commenced. She came up to me with a
very friendly smile, positively eOnPI;-
mented me on Clarice's appearance.
''She is very pretty said Miss Ade-
laide, land really looks very nice; but
my dear Miss Vyvian, she is a perfect
ehlld--she will require the advantage
of your training for some time to come.
Her manners are very free. too much so
In fact, and it rather spoils her.
The pate de raloptrs.'' I thought to
myself, and completely routed Miss Ad-
elalde by saying that. if there was any
thing amiss with my sisters manner, GO
ing into society would be the best train
ing for her.
They need not all have been so alarm
ed at my darling's beauty and triumph.
She saw nothing Of the by-play. Lady
Horton, although she was my mother 5
friend. y never once addressed her.
They need not have been alarmed
Sir Gerald Mayne was nothing more To
my sister than good dancer and a
pleasant partner-at least then. began
| to wonder when, after the last dance wa:
finished, he brought my sister up to me
and said how much pleasure he should
have in calling upon me to see if 81
much dancing had fahgued her. And
the last recollection have of the Beech
am hall is seeing Sir Gerald standing
bareheaded by the carriage window, beg
ging Of my sister to give him one-only
one flower from her bouquet. We al
laughed when she turned to me, with /;
look of wonder on her innocent face, AM
said, Laura, what did Sir Gerald wan
a flower from me for p
The Squire took upon himself to an
swer her. She laughed merrily at hi
words, saying that one good dancer wa
worth a legion of admirers.
Take care, little one, said the Squir
with laugh. "Sir Gerald is a goo,
dancer he may turn out to be somethin
else
, The sweet face smiled uneonseiously
l saw that my sisters heart for the pre-:
ent was quite safe.
! To Be continued
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

A Sioux chief offered to marry csle-
brated authoress the other day.
Skinner keeps a hotel in Chicago. 1t
is good name TO keep hotel with.
A Chicago reporter has Just won his
spurs by an article headed: Desperate
Bloodshed-Tbe Murdered Man not Ex-
pected to Live
Formula of divorce used by a negro
justice in Desha county. Arkansas: LAS
l jined you so l bust you 'sunder. So
60, you niggers. You 60"
Mark Twain doesn't owe much of his
wealth to his pen, but he was wise
enough to marry a girl whose father
owned coal mine and gas stock. and
died and left it all to her.
"Will you please insert this obituary
notice?" asked an old gentleman of an
editor. Il make bold to ask 1t, because
L know the diseased had a great many
friends around here. who'd be glad to
hear Of his death.
The infant delights in crows, but hates
the thrush some lunaties are raven mad:
gluttons are fond of swallows; persons
with bad colds indulge in hawks; gam
blers like pigeons and gulls; thieves go
in for Robin; fast men glory in lark.
and very good husband loves his duck
Of wife
Sir" said the astonished landlady
to a traveller who had sent his cup for
ward for the seventh time, You must
be very fond of coffee" Yes, madam,
l an" he replied, .'or 1 should never
have drank so much water to get lit
tie"
c. III. P.-Of course You viii not OBJ
jeet to our giving your sentiments in re
gard to the ladies? Now, girls, listen
| There is no, one girl on American soil
| For which this laboring would toll.
| No. nOt II all their love should spoil.
| And every pretty one should boil
Don't that speak for itself? Alas
alas don't it?
| Give Ne" said Luldn to his lair.
| To whom he would be more than friend
Give the little ring you wear.
| us like my love-It has no end.
Excuse me, that cannot de:
| n, heart you have no hops Of winning;
| The rlng is like my love for you.
| For Lubin, has no beginning"
A teacher questioning little boy
about the graduation in the scale Of be
ing, asked, What comes next to man
whereupon little shaver, who was eTi
IDENTIFY smarting under a sense of preri
GUS defeat, Immediately distanced al
competitors BY promptly shouting hi
shirt, ma'aml"
A squaw sat down on the curb 1
front of the post Office in Austin. Nevs
da, and, unrolling a bundle Of callct
commenced the manufacture of dress
In less than an hour the dress was fl
ished and putting it on over her ol
, clothes the squaw pulled out pin her
, a peg there, and united string in al
other place, made one step and, presto
the old clothes lay in the gutter Gait
erlng up the rags just shed, the mob
daughter Of the forest cast one look ,
triumph on the spectators and skippe
gracefully of in the direction of the Il
dian camp. A prominent citizen WI
was an interested witness Of the transa
ton, mildly remarked that he woul
. give $50 if Mrs P. c. could shed herse
like that
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23
WHAT ABOUT PusIN Essi

Well, what of it? Shall we continue
to sit still, like unweaned babes, with
thumb in mouth, and do nothing but
whine? A year ago came a great scare
and some folks are trembling yet, and
others are afraid to venture out lest a
lion may be in the way. Better risk the
lion than perish indoors of starvation.
But the lion is dead, or. more truly, he
was never there. The braying came
from asses; it was no lionine thunder
Yet the scare was awful, to be sure
but it is high time it was all over. Ev-
cry man should 90 at once to his work.
and mind his work. Providence abhors
an habitual idler; in some respects he
is bigger curse than a drunkard. So.
lest idling become chronic. let everybody
shake off his lethargy, and drive dull
care away by driving business. Let ev-
erybody pay MS uepIs, anu ~
pocket-gOd of his money. If all pay
their debts all around, things will soon
become lively again, people will believe
in one another once more, and will buy
and sell as usual, and everything "will
be lovely" Suppose we all try this line
of action? 1t will not do any harm to
any one.
Whose hath money to spend, let him
spend it now. If he needs something
useful, and he can afford it, let him buy
without delay. If he wishes any thing
artistic or ornamental, and he has money
in plenty, let him get it and pay for it
forthwith. Keep money moving. Hoard
ed money is dead money, worthless alike
to the man who has it and the man who
wants it. 1t may as well be at the bot
tom of the sea for all the good it does.
The mischief of to-day is, that he who
has money keeps it. He is afraid TO
part with it, either to pay debts or buy
something useful; and so the mill of
business is idle from want of grist. Pass
the money along. friends pass it along.
1t viii help everybody who touches it
and keeps it moving, and it will come
back to all in business increase. But the
action must be general, the entire ma
chInery must move simultaneously, and
thep how everything will hum The
panic should have been dead and buried
long ago beyond resurrection All men.
are not cheats, nor rascals, nor liars.
The most of people intend to do right
/ by one another. Let us believe this,
and show our faith by our works let US
all 90 to work as if nothing were wrong;
and we shall pretty soon find that all is
right Undam the streams, and the wa
ters of plenty viii flow In every neigh
borhood; but keep them pent up. and
some day they will break out suddenly
with death and ruin in their way
Boston Express.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1874-11-23

A gentleman who bad the curiosity %
spend dime in answering an advertise
ment which promised valuable advice
for that amount, received by mail the
following answer Friend, for ten cents
postage please find enclosed advice which
may be Of great value % you. As many
persons are injured for weeks. months
and years by the careless use Of ; knife.
therefore, my advice Is, when you use >
knife always whittle from you"