, 1874-05-30
AMMI BADD AS A JOURNALIST.

TO visit the city, the other day, and | volun-
teered my services during his absence.
Random gave me a very queer look and
remarked
DWELL, there's nothing particular to do.
The foreman has al. the copy he wants and the
paper comes ont tomorrow. Still, somebody
ought to be in the office"
All right 1 replied, on remain at my
post until you return"
Random started for the train, but suddenly
stopped short and shouted
"Hello ~
Hello, youraelf!' said I.
"Make a local of John Smiths death -
reared Random "say anything you please
good citizen-loss to the community, and all
that sort Of thing"
"HoId on a moment! y I began, but Random
was already s~treaking it for the depot at a
$40 rate.
walked up stairs and entered the Whistler
Office with all the self-pOssession Of a veteran
editor. The devil was there, grinning pro-
d~igiously, but [ sternly ordered him to leave
i~nstanter. Cit up and git was the way be
translated it to the printers in the next room.
Sinking into the easy chair, | proceeded to
write a local notice Of John Smith, deceased.
I was a little bothered at the outset by not
knowing what particular Smith it was, but
such a petty obstacle as this did not dampen
my ardor in the least, I decided to write
generalitie8 only, without committing myself to
anything definite. But I warmed with my
work, and soon threw all my en- .AusiasG into it,
In less than an bOur-an-a-half / had produced
the following
THE LATE JOHN SMITH," EsQ.-Our oiti-
zens will be deeply panied to learn that John
Smith, Esq is dead. Alas Will the vora-
cious Jaws of the silent tomb never cease to
wag We think not. But to return to our
mutton, as the French say. The late John
Smith was a son of old man Smith. His was
an illustrious family. One Of his ancestors was
made famous by Pocah0utas, The tricky
sQuaw went back on him, however, and mar
ried another. John has always been q promis-
ing member of the family. He has achieved
distinction in various callings. If our re-
collection serves u right he has been promi-
nent in the pulpit, at the bar, in the Iegisla-
ture, and in various business enterprises, lie
has always been a great traveller. eve ascer-
tanned this fact by reading the hotel arrivals in
our old exchanges) But, to come to the
point. Death is always in our midst. 1t is
the worm in the bud. In snort tire death Of
John Smith leaves a vacant chair in bis house
hold, and a void in this community. Rfq@1es-
cat IN pace !"
[ read this over several times and then
uduu6u / ~ GIC v Chldus ' lS4IOlo SOJl SatlO
crowdiOg into the office, and 1 didn't have
time to read proof or do anything else.
The next morning I was eager to read The
Whistler, Fortunately the carrier brought it
before breakfast, but my rage and modification
nearly suffooated me, when my eye rested
upon the following
"THE LATE JOHN SMITHS EGGs-Our citi-
zens will be deity p~arioked to learn that John
Smith, Esq, is ded. Atlas Will the vera
ciOus job of the silent tomb never grease its
rag We blink not. Butter returns to NUT
ton, as the French say. The late John Smith
was one of old man Smith. His was an i'll
digested family. One of his ancestors was
made famous by Pocahontas. The tricky
squaw went back on him, however, and mauled
another. John has always been a promising
member of the family. He has achieved dis
tlnctlon in various callings. If our r~ecollec-
ton screams Alright, be has been prominent
in the pulpit, at the bar, in the legislature, and
in curious bulletin enterprises. He has always
been a great traveller. eve ascertained this
fact from our exchanges The hotel arrivals
are at Readiug.) But to come to the point.
Death is always in our middles. 1t is the
worms in the Biddies. In shouting the death
OF John Smith leaves a vacant chair in his