Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1874-04-09
Brevities and LeHitieS.

A- "Why do you use paint?" asked
a violinist Of his daughter. For tho
same reason that you use rosin, papa"
"How is that?" "Why, to help Inc
draw my beau"
.D- A Texan said he wouldn't have
cared cuss If his wife had eloped with
a man. but to know that she went off
with an internal Mexican just raised his
dander every time he thought Of it.
Love-" says an amorous writer,
.is an internal transport" An exchange
remarks, 1'The same might be said IF
canal boat.''
mr 4 Western editor met well-ed-
ucated farmer recently, and informed
him that.he would like to have some-
thing from his pen. The farmer sent
him pig, and charged him 1913 for it.
~ A Berks County farmer sent an
order lately for a clock. He said he
should prefer one made by tGempus Fu-
git, as all the best clocks III the neigh
borhood had that name on the face.
-. @- Wives are presumptuous crea-
lures. They always ask for lock OF
their lovers hair, before marriage, and
take it without asking afterimarriage.
aH- The editor of the Panama Star
apologies for the non-appearance of his
paper by saying that he had to haul off
to dig buckshot out of his legs.
m- A Sioux Indian delegation, after
taking notes among the visitors to the
| Yellowstone, report: "Spectacled white
men heap fraud; white women very
much heap fraud all cotton"
@- We're you guarded in your con-
duct while in London ?" asked father
OF his son, who had returned from visit
to that city. eyes, part of the time, by
two policemen"
w-"So you are taking lessons i'll
drawing, sallie?" eyes, and the teach
er saysI am an apt pupil. as draw more
inferences, insinuations, admirers, and
allowance than any girl in the academy"
w- The st. Louis Journal has very
feeble sense of what is due to dignities
when itremarks Of Bishop Haven, whom
it calls "the Bishop of Atlanta" that
che is one of the incest, smoothest,
squarest old fellows in the business"
Isu Gs-.A Pennsylvania clergyman has
made a hit by introducing personals" in
his prayers. For instance :" Lord have
mercyion John Shanahan, who keeps
saloon near the Old Bridge. Either lay
him upon a bed ofssicllness or have him
removed from this town."
&9-" If the wind blows this way for
another hour" said captain on board
of ship in danger Of being wrecked to
passenger who was a clergyman, "we
shall all he in heaven" "God forbid
FF-,vzs =etfe r,rsyurru1 answer OF tho divine.
Iy~ We'd credit the following good
thing, if we knew TO whom the credit Is
due: "The drummers came sdown like
wolves on the fold. Their toes were all
frosted, their noses all cold Their
weather peeled bugles soon shone through
the town; they gobbled the money and
saltsd it down; then took a few orders
and lit out of here, with their heads full
of business and skins full of beer"
@~ Mr.. Smith Is bound to have his
joke. His wife was walking nearly in
front of railroad train the other day,
and he said if she had gone q stop farther
his children would have had step
mother.
ga- A lady at Madison, Ohio. think
ing ,pleasantlyyto surprise oneaIof her
'boayders,,, put d gold ring. whieiP:he had
.i6s. 81, 4 ipancak md placed the
Hpnofk bis plate at thseakfast. 4 But the
the pancake in srciG large
Bites tHat lie Pfessiee ri tbgG was
saessdisppzaraa Ia NV iis Il lioasisaSaiu. Ia