The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1874-10-09

wafmF Because they were nearly al-
ways "cowled".
The King Of Dahoney has neck
lace composed Of 150 human ears, and
that ear necklace is his great pride
A clergyman at Paris, KY, stopped
his prayer to lead an unruly man out
by the ear, and went on, Gas was
saying, oh Lord"
A Pennsylvania baby is said 10 have
inherited the eyes and dnose Of his faith,
er, but the cheek OF his uncle, who is
an insurance agent.
The Japaue6e make strong string
of paper, and we have seen a very
good cord Of wood but not lately,
says Western editor.
"I'm not much for shtump spakin','
declared a candidate at Dubuque,
Iowa, "hut tor honesty and capacity
and integrity I bate the divil."
A Mississippi negro worked on
shares but got muffin because said
he, II worked for de seventh, and we
only made fifth; crop short"
"What'a the matter with you, my
petP" 20, auntyl went to touch a
little ehioky, aud the old hen growled
at me and bit me with her nose!"
An Illinois woman who wanted to
90 to masquerade party as Mary,
Queen Of Scots, looked through the
Bible to ascertain how the character
was dressed.
"I wonder if its sea-sickness that
makes sailors always a heaving up an
chorsm exclaimed aunt Hepzibah, as
she looked thoughtfully up from her
morning paper.
Boys will be boys. AT Alton, ILL.,,
a preacher asked all Sunday School
scholars to stand up who intended TO
visit the wicked soul-destroying oir-
Gus. All but lame girl stood up.
II, about these times, you should ac-
cidentally get into an orchard and
draw two pears, and the old man
should happen along with a full hand
Of clubs, pass out-he might raise
you,
With q sardonic grin, Wix poured
some mucilage into his empty hair.oll
bottle, yesterday, and this morning
the hair of one Of tho servant girls
was stuck SO tight she could not nhpt
her mouth.
A New York newsboy who said
"thank you" to stranger, was rewar-
ded with a dollar, and now all the
boys say thesatne. However, if they
fail to get tho dollar, they add-"you
stingy old cuss, you"
"Write me while | am away said
Jones to Mrs, Jones, after an afec
tionate goodbye. "Treacherous mani
meditated the lady "Not one letter
does he getl He wants to sell them to
ono Of those Western papers"
An old lady Of Providence of 81,
after using spectacles for 40 years, has
given them up and read every word
Of the Beecher scandal without them.
She says it has fairly topened her
eyes, That is what everybody says
OF it.
Mosquitoesare large and somewhat
feroOious in Mississippi. A man who
went out one day to look for his COW
found her skeleton on the ground, and
a large mosquito on an adjacent tree
picking its teeth with one Of her
horns. si. i3
An interesting little boy timid
when loft alone in a dark room, was
overheard, recently, by bis mother to
say, in his loneliness; o; Lord, don't
let any body hurt me, and LII go to
church next Sunday, and give you
Isome money"
In a restaurant not long ago, a gen
tleman, while devouring plate Of
hash, came across a pearl sleeye-but-
tor in it. lie very justly complained
to tho big brawny waiter, the latter
replying in an astounding manner
"Well what dyer expect TO get-a
hull shirt?"