The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, 1874-08-08
How She Travels.

lHe CraIu leaVes at precisely J:5U-at
9:15 she is before the glass pulling down
the short curls under the brim of her
new hat and wondering if there will be
time to curl over the little wisp of hair
on her left temple. 1t is so damp this
morning she is sure it will never stay in
curl until she gets there, and dear Mrs.
Browns son Charlie is such an admirer
of curls!
Peremptory call of:
Carriage at the door, ma'am! scant
time! Hurry up!''
Oh, dear! what does make hackmen in
such a hurry? Where's her veil? and her
gloves, and her parasol?
The escort, meanwhile, has converted
himself into pack mule, and staggering
! under the weight of her few necessary
things is trotting his toes impatiently on
the hall oil-cloth, and wondering what
does make women 50 long getting ready!
She comes down at last, all smiles and
apologies. With her foot on the car
riage step she discovers that she must
have her crochet needle, and some
worsted, and the pattern of her cousin
Fannys tidy.
She goes back for them, and takes a
parting glance in the mirror, and hurries
out with the worsted trailing behind
her.
She buttons her cuffs in the carriage,
and gets her escort to put the crochet
needle in his pocket, where presently it
will work loose and stab him in the re-
gion of the pit of his stomach; and she
gets on her veil and feels in her pocket
to see if she has got her porte-monnaie,
and by that time they are at the depot
The train is there before them. There
is no time for tickets. The escort STUN
bles on board as best he can, making a
futile attempt to assist his companion.
He drops some packages as he makes his
advent into the car, for the train starts
just as he reaches the door.
The treacherOus paper bursts, and the
lunch, and the Florida water, and dressing
sacque roll on the floor.
He picks up the sandwiches and dough-
nuts as if they were counterfeit money,
and huddles that sacque out of sight as
quick as possible.
She looks on, and wonders why men
will be so awkward.
The bundles all fixed, they settle them
selves on seat together. She wants the
window open. It is so close in the car
He opens it, Then she wants it shut
because the cinders get in her eyes. He
shuts it.
Then, won't he please count her bun
dies, to make sure that they are all there {?
He counts. Then she must have the
window open again. She is suffocating
He opens it. Then she wonders if this
is really the 9:30 train. Yes, he tells her
Is he sure that it is the right road? Quite
sure.
Does he think the boiler will be likely
to burst? Oh, no! It never burst in the
world! 1t is the safest boiler on record!
Then those railway car nuisances, the
peddler boys, begin to come. She pities
them, they look so threadbare, and she
buys something every time oranges, ap-
pies, peanuts, bags Of popped corn, pho
tographs, prize stationery packages, and
so on. Her escort has to find pockets to
put them in.
And by this time the bundles have to
be looked over, and just as she has set
tied herself to read they reach their
journeys end, and the difficult process
of disembarking takes place.
We draw curtain over it. Every gen
tleman, who has ever travelled with a
lady, knows all about it!-Kate Thorn, IN
NeW York Weekly.