Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1874-06-26

In the early days OF fCallfOrnla-the
olden days of gold, or the golden
days of old, as you please-in GER
tain miners camp on the Yuba river,
there lived queer geuius named
Armstrong. He was an honest mi
ner, not different materially from his
fellows, except that he had curious
habit of talking to himself. For the
reason that he departed from COM
mon custom in this the particular, he
was of course voted crazy by the
other miners. TO call all persons
''crazy" who do not follow the Gus
toms of.the majority is a constant
habit with men. But, day after day,
Armstrong worked away with his
pick and shovel, caring nothing for
the remarks Of his neighbors, and
seeming to wish for no other partner
in his tolls or his rest, save the invis-
ible parsonage whom he always ad-
dressed in the second person singu-
lar, and with whom he was almost
constantly in close and earnest con-
versation. The common drift of his
talk, while at work; would be as fol-
lows:
"Rather tough work, Armstrong
rich dirt though-grub dollar a
pound-no time to waste-pitch in,
sir-hangcd if l don't wish l was in
the Stats, This INNINGS mighty
hard work. Nonsense, Armstrong;
what fool you are to be talking in
this way, with three ounces day
right under your feet, and nothing to
do but just to dig it out"
His conversation would be duly
punctuatcd with strokes of the pick
and lifts Of the loaded shovel. And
SO the days would pass along, and
Armstrong worked and slept, and
talked with his invisible partner.
Well, it happened in due course of
time, that the class of human vam-
pires, commonly called gamblers,
made their appearance l.. the camp
where Armstrong worked. As he
was not above following the example
ofhis fellows, he paid the new comcrs
avisit. 1t is the same old story. At
ter watching the game awhile, he
concluded it was the simplest thing
in the world. So he tried his luck
and won-$lO0! Now, any new ex-
perience set Armstrong to thinking
and talking to himself worse than ev-
er. 1t was so this time. "Now Arm
strong" he said, as he hcsitated
about going to his work next morn
ing, 'sthat is the easiest hundred dol
lars you ever made in your life.
What's the use of your going into a
hole in the ground to dig for three
ounces a day. The fact is, Arm
strong, you are sharp. You were
not made for this kind ofwork. Sup
pose you just throw away your pick
and shovel, leave the mines, buy
suit of store-clothes and dress up like
a born gentleman, and go at some
business that suits your talent"
Armstrong was not long in put
ting these thoughts and sayings into
action. He left the diggings and i'll
vested in fine clothes. He looked like
another man, but he was still the same
Armstrong, nevertheless. He was
not long in finding an opportunity to
try new profession. Walking forth
in his fresh outfit, he had just conclu-
dcd long talk with himself about
his bright prospects, when he halted
in front of a large tent with a sign
on it, miners Rest Armstrong
went in. 1t did not seem to him that
he remaiued very long. but it was
long enough to work wonderful
in his feelings. When he
came out he was a changed man
that is to say, he was "changeless"
man. He was thundcr-struck, amaz-
ed, bewildered. He had lost his
money, lost his new prospects, lost
his self-conceit-lost everything, but
his new clothes and his habit of talk
ing to himself. It is useless to say
that he was mad. Armstrong was
very mad. But there was no one to
lie mad at but Armstrong himself, SO
self number two was in for a rough
lecture:
"Now, Armstrong, you are nice
specimen-you fool-you bilk-you
dead-beat-you inf" Well l need
not repeat all the hard things he said.
Like Ring Richard, he sfonnd with.
in himself no pity for himself,