The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1874-04-04

lest I might by accident miss one chance OF
seeing her. Surcingle, the junior cnrate, said
/ lett him nothing to do outside the church.
He was perfectly correct in his statement.
Would not have walked myself to death
rather than let him incur the danger of meet
ing my bonny Juliet in the west End slums?
nv DEGREES grew thin and haggard, between
combating with my love passion and trying
to devise means for satisfying it-so haggard,
indeed. that sometimes the bright eyes would
look at me compassionately, and she would
say:
ssMr. Chasuble, you look awfully i'll. don't
believe YOU give Yourself half enough food or
rest. You ought to lay mp, and have some
one to look after you"
Alb how gladly would have laid up If
had had her to look after me; TO iooK IN once
a week or so. as she did on Mrs. Gridlan, and
ask me how did, with that frank, inspiring
smile of hers.
Another time she hurt me cruelty by say
ing, as was opening her umbrella for her:
lone thing like so much in you Rituals
tic clergymen, Mr.. Chasuble, is your not mar
rying. 1t makes you SO much more useful
among the poor. You couldn't give all your
time to them, as you do, if you had an eIa-
gednte wife at home and always thought 1T
one OF the great advantages the Roman cler-
gy possessed over Ours.''
1t was knife through my heart that she
should say this, and DE glad of it; and with
difficulty l commanded myself enough to re-
ply:
"Celibacy, certainly. has its recommended
tions in some cases: but you must remember,
Miss Juliet, it is wholly voluntary with us,
not enforced, as with the Roman priesthood"
s'Then it is all the more right and sensible
of you," she answered warmly; and shaking
my hand, departed.
That night 1 felt desperately unhappy. 1t
was perfectly true that hitherto had regard
ed celibacy as my particular vocation; had
extoled the benefits, mundane and spiritual,
OF that state; and enlarged, both at home and
abroad, on the drawbacks and general inferi-
orty of married clergy. Indeed, if ever
condescended to admit any dreams in which
woman took part, she always appeared as
a pale. spiritual creature, with lofty brow,
deep violet eyes, and paley-golden hair band
ed Madonna-wise on either side of her trans
parent temples-sOme ''rare, pale Margaret"
or heavenly minded Hida, whose heart, be-
ing already enclosed within the sacred atmos-
phere of the Church, might MAKE worthy
helpmate to one of the pastors of that estab-
lishment.
Such was my ideal-an ideal on which 1 had
more than once expounded in eloquent gravi-
ty to my admiring mother and sisters in the
cathedral close at Chichester, and to which
had in my college days inscribed various SON.
nets of varying excellence -sonnets in which
the heroine's slight, pale fingers, inspired
glance, and lily like complexion appeared Oil
every page. And now behold me! Fallen,
fallen, fallen from my high estate" and hun
gering NIGHTLY for very flesh and blood
damsel with saucy eyes and ripe lips-a dam
sci without trace OF either heavenliness, ill
health, or inspiration about her--a girl of the
period, who talked enjoyingy of delicious
whitehall lunches at Greenwich" told her
Door proteges that she looked pale
of conrse because she had been dancing till
morning at ''such jolly ball., and insisted,
with honest depreciation of a higher motive,
that she only visited the poor because it was
fun
zone gets so awfally tired of rich 'haw-
haw,' sleeky, proper people, you know, Mr..
Chasuble. They do get frightfully slow after
a time; and SO come down among the slums
take pill or a glass of bitters before dinner"
demonstrated warmly against this. Fain
indeed wohd have made myself consistent
by making an angel out of her, but she set
down her foot. and would not have it al any
price; so as might rot love saint, l cen
lay down IN the dust and worshpped sin
ner. Ay, good heavens! worshipped her
and I did not even know her name!
One day 1 betrayed myself
Sue had mentioned on one occasion that
she always went to see a Mrs. Bosely on a
Friday also. Fasting days are, / confider, Pc
culiarly adapted to works of charity and ac-
cordingly we encountered each other one at
terhOon, just as it was coming on to rain.
'BaIely in time for SHELTER" she said, with
out stopping; and only lifted my hat smil-
ingly in return, and hurried on to get the
DANES door open. She came scudding in af-
ter me, laughing and shaking the raindrops
off her skirts; and / had taken her umbrella
from her before either of us noticed that the
room was empty save ourselves. Mrs. Bosey
had gone out; and as our baf1ed eyes met
each other in their return from the vain
search, there must have been something ludi-
crous in the situation, for we both laughed.
ut seems we have come on the same err
randi l said, coloring consciously.
1T seems we are always coming on the
same errand," she retorted. 81 was just
thinking to-day that never come to see my
old people without finding you too, Mr..
Chasuble, but hardly calculated on finding
only you.'
'sYou forgot they are my people also,"I
said, vexed with myself for reddening still
more under her words-''if not more so than
yours. 1t is my business to look after them"
''Your business and my pleasure. Well,
both combined bring us together pretty Of
ter"
mot so often as to be unpleasant to you, I
hope" said-as anxiouslp, poor fool, as if
my life hung on the answer.
Certainly not, Mr.. Chasuble-I rather
like it, though you do scold me about Job,
and trample on all my little pet weaknesses"
9Not very hardly, I think, Miss Juliet
hope not at least"
81 don't know" she answered, giving her
head little wilful shake as she stood drying
the soles of her boots at the small fire.
However, am resigning myself to being
trampled or to-day, fer l must wait till the
rain is over, and want to wait till Mrs. Bose
ly comes in. l shouldn't like to 60 away
without bidding the ridiculous old thing good
BY"
"Good-byp' repeated vaguely. Some of
the rain must have run down my back Just
then-such a cold shiver ran through me.
"You are not-surely you are not going
awayv'
She looked up, her blue eyes wide with sur.
prise. My tone must have sounded of the
despair felt.
''Indeed am. Don't think I'm tired of
my ragged friends; but leave London next
week, and shall be too busy to come down
to them again; so you will have them all to
yOurSelI III IuLure.
felt was growing white as death. 1
could not speak or look at her.
81 am afraid you are rather glad,' she
said, brushing the dried mud stain off her
boot with one of Mrs. Bosely's busters
But haven't corrupted your flock very
much. think say worse things when you
are here than when Pm alone"
Still no answer, The words would not
come.
l know did say. ''The nearer the church
the further from Cod" when Mrs. Gridlan
said so long as she could hear st. Stephens
bells and see you she wouldn't repine at not
going to church. the girl went on with sort
of mirthful penitence, ''and I burst out
laughing when that fat Mrs. Ball told me she
felt like "sparrer on a ousetop.' But it is
so difficult not to laugh, isn't it? And how
does sparrow on housetop feel?"
Some one felt lonelier than any sparrow on
housetop just then, and fonnd it rather
difficult not to burst out crying into tho bar
gain.
"You will have to forgive me, now am
going" she said. drying the other sole with
great care. Il feel guile sorry you are not
going away somewhere, too. You must
want holiday"
A holiday when my work was connected
with her!
care you going for long, Miss Juliet p"
asked rather hoarsely.
''Oh, am going for good. At least T am
not coming to live in London again.
stNOt al all! Oh! Juliet shall 7 novor. 90.