, 1874-09-06

unfortunate gentleman into :: Kingdom Come" !"
Nobody, except 11r. Driscon- knows Why ".
Driscoll should be q candidate for Sheriff. lie
seTed ST. Ma1y's Catholic Church the night OF
tue July fire. when the wind was blowing tho
other wny, tho fire block below the sacred edi-
fee, and about enough cinders on the roof
to scocch Mr. Df,scol's somewhat lu1utlant
c1ustacho. Ho il said to be rather popular
along the headWaters OF the south fork Of tho
South Branch, but is not much known north OF
Twenty-aecond street. It was recently affirmed
publicly that Patrick Frederick could neither
read nor write. whereupon the candidate camo
out with challenge and au affidavit. The chai-
leuge was to tho nan who said that he (Drsco1D
could not write the affidavit was to prove that
be (DriscolD could writc,--but those who saw the
document aver that it was in the Chinese Lam
guoce. and TINT it would take soycral million
such alnuayits to provo that Mr. Driscol's carly
education. in the line OF writing ind not been
fienlishly neglected. It is suggested By Mr.
Driscoll's friends" that he carry around an
ink-bottlc, pcn. and some paper to every saloon
10 visits, and there execute his "pot-hooks" for
tho cilication Of lis constituents. This ie cheap
aud cflicaclous method of proving that !" the
echooluaster was abroad " in his early days.
Despitc the doubts relative to the quantity and
quality Of lis clirosraphy, Mr. .Driseoll is re-
on the South Side. In the other sectlons the
scoto-liiberniau has got tho inside track, and Is
nlost likely to keep it.
And now
JOHN CD34ShSIs .
breathing fire and fury, looms upon the politics!
horizon. 10 biographize this gentleman would
10 almost O task Of supcr4luity. He is West
Slider, aud votes in tha Ninth Ward John,
although soemhat .:4 sEGtehfty Ety. is b,a mn 9hn
tim. Ills record as = politician in
Chicago is not ovc1brilIiant. Rightly or wrong
II, no WAS accused of Copperhcadlam during tho
Rebellion He has nlways been Gorce Domocrat,
&1tn
bont. How CID Joe Ledlio Hould hug Comiskey
to his venerable bosom! How Singleton wonld
oserroxer hia with brandy snashes and gin
cocktails! John, however, means business: and
has hung cut his shingle as "hoforuer" OF
the most violent character. To this end he has
takon contract to abuse Rehm and Sheridan,
tho first part Of the job being already ac-
compl,shed. No doubt there will be mutual mud
alnsing, and, as the parties are all well posted"
rs to each others records, tho chances Of very
fine exhibition Of Billingsgate arc decidedly
cheering. John Claims to be q very strong mnn
before tho pcoule but this innocent belief OF his
needs public confirmation. The Convention
will, perhaps, chow John that burnt~out political
ashes are Of no use.
'''@@~0 "PIn1" coSLEY,
proprietor Of the St. Chariea Hotel. is also
spoken Ut. 111. Conley is q very old resident OF
Chicago, and is, perhaps, moro widely known
than any Bonifaco in tho city. He has been IN
the hotel business very long time, and has al
singular TINT gentleman OF Mr. Conleys time
of life, position, and surroundings should aspire
Il, office especially to the Office OF Sheriff. He
doea not know but that lie may hare some bang
ing to do, aud ho had better avoid the dlsloca-
tion OF criminal uecls during his declining
vcars. ANY other oftico would suit him better
he is too tondcr-hearted to hnng anybody, and
ho would be certain to botch tho job" There
fore, everybody who knowu him thinks that Mr.
Conley ought not to run for Sheriff, but - Phil "
has gono into tho raco, determined to make . do
ceul run. ind hns adopted for hia motto: "The
devil t1lso the hindmost!"
Another prominent candidate is
CAPT. "JAcK" HARRINGTON,
ns good a soldier as ever headed charge, but
oct of favor Bomewhat with - the Peoples 9
party" Capt Harrington has great many
warm personal friends and is likely to poll big
vote should lie go into tho Convention, which IL
rather doubtful. The Captain himself spealss
chcerfully OF tho prospect. and aays that he VIII
not back out. In tho words OF his old com,
lives of U. S. Qrant)
cAAnLEr KEES,
T. sort Of political niuepin, set up for several
successive yea1s only to bo knocked down, Is
also in the field Charley has very Little show
OF SUCCESS, for it is generally conceded that tho
mont, in consideration Of tho Holy Alliance.
However,. Charlcy's friends need not DO dis
couraged- tho CoroncrBhip will be at thoir dis
1,osnI, and aIr. Keen might make himself CON-
fortahlo sitting on corpsee for couple OF years
In addition to the prominent candidates al.
ready sketchcd, may be mentioned the names OF
Tim Bradley. the present incumbent, who, OF
port; 'sEd" Long1ey, one OF Tins "bowers, y
aud Charles Mclaughlin, who appears to have
no political record, and is, therefore, allowed
'.the charity OF silenco."