The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-07-17
ORGANIZING Il GRANGE.
BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.

The epidemic has at length reached our
quiet little village here in Central New
York, and the people are crazy to become
grangers. a hardy farmer from the neigh
boring city of Utica came up the other
night and made a stirring speech regard
ing tie Patrons of Husbandry, as the order
is called of which he claimed to be a prom
inenU officer, and after the speech, steRs
were taken toward the organization of a
grange. Only one farmer was present,
others who came not being able to obtain
admission, as the hall was crowded before
they arrived But that isn't very material
in grange l am told.
The horny-handed farmer from Utica was
made chairman of the meeting, and, after
several stirring speeches had been made on
subjects more or less remote from agri-
culture, persons who desired to enroll
themselves as grangers were invited to step
forward. There was a great rush for the
stand, when a woman's shrill voice cried,
"Hold - Elbowing her way to the front
she claimed the right to be enrolled first.
''What have you done?" asked the chair
man, somewhat sternly, emitting you to
be enrolled among the patrons of Hus-
bandry?''
''Raised 'leven daughters" was the
/ proud reply. ''An got husbands, and if l
nin'e a patron of husbaudry, 1 should like
to know who is?' She was received NJ
once with cheers
y carpenter claimed to be something of
a farmer. Said he had worked round n
farm good deal-built fences roundit. He
had got in a good deal of hay, too-got it
in out of the rain. lie added that if there
was no special objection to his joining the
grange lac would like to become their car
penter an6 Joiner. He was allowed to join.
/ y lawyer jumped upon a chair and ex-
claimed vociferousIy: Mr.. Chairman, l
claim admission into this noble order-I,
too have held the plow-'
| '.Held it on an attachment" put in the
solitary farmer sitting by, and the lawyer
Bubsided amid the laughter OF the crowd.
Il am one of you," said a strolling actor.
'sNIy lot was cast in a garden"
''In what garden ?'' asked the Chairma. .
''Enoch (g) Arden"
! He was Immediately voted a benefit, and
{ the village marshall who had a new pair
of cowhide boots on treated him to a stoga.
A retired printer wanted to get III be
cause he had toiled for years with the hoe,
but on its transpiring that it was a Hoe
press he was barred out
There was a cOmmotion at the door, and
the village, dressmaker, 4 very energetic
woman, forced her way into the hall.
''Put me down as a graugeress," she
cried, ''for I am the champion mower"
s.Mower - shouted the assembly in one
breath.
eyes, mower. Don't my customers ad-
nit that l have mode ahead of anybody
She was admitted but the chair decided
they couId stand no mower Of that sort.
She was elected Flora, and is ready to Flora
man who denies her right to the honor.
One of the most extraordinary applica-
tions for membership came from man
who has made himself insane over the con-
struction Of a flying machine. He SAID
some men had swung more scythes than Ae
had, but he had moving machines.
BY the way, how singular it is tLat far
mers are so eager to bay a reaper and NOW
er, although it notoriously goes against tn,
grain. It would seem Is though reape
was sufficient without buying any more
But once knew man to purchase
washer and vIinger for his wife, becaus
as lie profanely remarked, he not onl
wanted a machine TO washer, but to wrin.
her neck Of.
4 wag asked the attehtiOti If the meet
ing while he read the moving poem LI'tI
Brooches"
S "What has Little Breechcs' got to q
: with farming ?'' asked the boss. grange
It rather testify.
i Didn't it make Hay ," replied the wag
The wretch was let OF, as it was eyidcu
d he had the Hay fever.
v 4 music teacher advised farmers wh
n we're desirous of prognosticating the weatl
5 er to study the music of Strauss, as straw
d show which way the wind blows
Il The chairman remarked sarcaStlcaIl
/ that if they kept on At THAI rate they ooul
easily trauspose the grange into firat-cla
retreat for lunatics and Iuu the Utica As