Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-04-09

COIh0u DOIIieS IN II.
A LANCASTER (Pa.) man, who is vet
eran member of a lodge, saws that while
leaves may have their time to fall the cur
tain lecture season lasts from Jan. l to
Dec. 81, with no postponement on &C
count of weather.
A CONFIDENCE woman of rare beauty
and adroitness has swindled almost every
merchant in Virginia City, and gone of
with 5000 of net result. The victims
however, admire her cleverness so much
that they refuse to attempt her capture
and punishment.
MAY it please your Honor" said a
| New York lawyer, addressing one of the
Judges, 81 brought the prisoner from jail
on ha6eds corpus" "Well," said a fel
low in an undertone, who stood in the
rear of the court, "these lawyers will say
anything. l saw the man get out of cab
at the court door,"
THE filial tenderness of Mary Kane, OF
| New Haven, is truly touching. She de
sired to elope with party already orna-
mented with wife, but would not bulge
until she had seen her old and feeble
mother provided for. And so she had
her placed in the alms-house.
ONE Of the ornaments picked out for
the coming bonnet is the Russian poqpon
1t is of several colors nicely blended, and
stands upright from the side of the head
| gear like an illuminated cornstalk. OF
| course it will be fashionable. ANYTHING
imported and with as high-sosnding a
name as Russian pompon" cannot fail
to be.
A YOUNG wife once cured her husband
| of disposition to absent himself from
home at nights by providing him with an
excellent dinner, and saying to him after
ward: George, if you find a sweeter spot
| than our home describe it to me, and |
will rival it if I die in the attempt" A
kiss and few tears completed the vic
tory.
THE Louisville Ledger has been puzzled
for long time to know why the women
of Massachusetts make more noise than
their sisters in other States Archbishop
Whately once propounded a similar
conundrum: Why do white sheep eat
more than black ones? and answered it
with the inevitable reply: Because there
are more of them.
A FEMALE of Washington, Ind, writes
to Nevada that a society numbering thirty
women, mostly girls from eighteen to
twenty-five has been organized to pay a
temperance visit 10 the Pacific coast.
They will commence their labors at
Omaha, and stop at every saloon on the
line of the railroad from there to San
Francisco.
LOUISVILLE has unconsciously taken a
great stride forward in the matter of tenn
perance reform, by sending drunkards
home instead of to the lookup. Not even
the most confirmed inebriate requires a
second treatment. The lookup is beara-
BILE, though somewhat combining; but the
Christening influences of home are more
than can be endured.
THE unpleasant odor produced by per-
spiration can be removed at much less
expense and more effectually than by the
application of costly unguents and per-
fumes. Place about two tablespoonful
of compound spirits of ammonia in basin
Of water. Washing the face, hands and
arms with this leaves the skin as clean,
fresh, and sweet as one could wish.
A MODEST young husband in New York
sent the following message over the wires
to friends in this city the other day:
See ninth chapter of Isaiah, sixth verse"
The dusty old bible was hauled down in
an instant and the above chapter and
verse were hunted out and found to explain
all The verse reads: "For unto US a
child is born-unto us son is given."-
Columbus Neaos.
KATE FIELD has an exalted opinion
Of American women, and places a CORE
spondingly low estimate on the English
females. Kate is right, says the Brooklyn
argus. English girls, as general thing,
are poor trash They measure over forty
inches around the waist, wear loose
CATERS, eschew late hours and lily-white,
and enjoy state of health that is posi-
lively vulgar.
The observations of a married man
have led to the conclusion that money put
into mirrors is good investment as they
afford marvellous amount of comfort and
qualification to a woman. He says his
wife thinks just as much of consulting her
glass when she ties on her apron as when
she ties on her bonnet; and while be goes
to the door at once when there is rap,
she eXclaims, "Mercy! Joseph, who is
that?" and dashes for the looking glass.
A PROMINENT blind man, who does a
smashing business in the way of begging
on the streetcorners, was observed, few
evenings ago, examining his postal cur
if it was all good. 1t is supposed that
this particular blind man is one of the
best judges of counterfeit money in the
city. Benevolent persons are requested
not to impose upon him.-ChlcagO Tri6-
une.
The ways of women are past finding
out. 1t is said that the ladies of jack
sonville, Tenn, have fashion of tying up
their tapar fin uers when UOuOu gentlemen
are expected to call, and when they very
naturally ask the cause they blushingly
reply, q burned them broiling the steak
this morning" The result, as chronicled
by the local paper, is that several young
gentlemen have burned their fingers by
believing the story.
CURRANT CAKEs-Take six ounces of
currants, the same quantity of pounded
loaf sugar, a little grated nutmeg, half
pound Of butter and three-quarters Of a
pound of dried and sifted flour; rub the
butter with the -four till they are well
mixed, then add the other ingredients and
bind them with three beaten yOlks of
eggs and two or three spoonfuls of rose or
orange-fower water. Roll it out and cut
it into round cakes with the top of a
wineglass or tin.
A TOUCHING story is related of young
man from the vicinity of Ebensburg, who
was violently attacked some eight years
ago with the Western fever He followed
the track of the setting sun, and upon ar
irving at his destination he possessed but
dollar in the world. After eight years
of incessant toll he last week returned to
his native hills, having accumulated the
munifcent sum of one hundred and