Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1874-07-16
WARNING TO DELINQUENT SUB
SCRIBs.KS.
Cot. Charles Nnppcs ralcd out of
Heaven bccau-. he owed the Printer.

The Galena Gazette Of two weeks
ago published an announcement
that Col. Charles Mappes, the pop
ular host of the st. Charles Hotel,
Belmont, was dead. On the week
following, however, the report is
positively contratiicted by the Col
onel, and the reason why he is not
now in heaven plainly given as
follows:
BELMONT, July 5, 1874.
To the Editor of The Galcna Gazette:
We feel that we do not ask too
much when we request you to CON
tradict the statement of our having
lost our foothold on earth, and gone
up with the spirits to glory. We as
sure you we have most convincible
proofs that we remain yet in the flesh,
called the 'earthly tabernacle" AS
you have inadvertently chronicled
our departure for that "bourne from
whence" as it is supposed, "no trav-
eler ever returns" we concluded to
state our own case of transition and
trial, in proof Of the contrary theory.
l tell You candidly, my confidence
in the theory Of actual retention III
the world beyond the grave is shak
en-; my faith in it is weakened, and
| don't and ,oiH not believe it, as |
used to. The test, however, went
near playing the duce with me.
There are facts connected with it
which we fear you can never fully
appreciate, much less realize ; the
great astounding, overwhelming fact
Of my wandering at large through
/ the unelling, intricate paths OF the
planets; and kissing my hand to
Coggia's comet as | passed it on its
way to the earth. Un On. and
still onward, we Travelled with in
credible speed, far and beyond the
orbits of the plants and solar sys-
TENS, till we reached the gate of the
"New Jerusalem" the Eternal City.
The portal of the "1eavenly Man
sion" was shut; but remembering
the encouraging passage in "HoIy
Writ" ''knock, and it shall be
opened unto you," we confidently
obeyed the injunction and knocked.
OF course, you are aware there was
nobody to do the knocking but my
self, however, there was no response,
and after frequent and repeated eff
forts to gain admission, was forced
to desist. Feeling an unconquer-
able desire to get a glimpse Of the
glory within, ! approached nearer
the gate, hoping to find the keyhole
and look in, but my temerity was
severely rebubed, for an angel with
drawn sword suddenly appeared,
and motioned me away. Present =
rs if to make amends for his Incl
ity, he caused, or Impoverished, q
celestial tahleau of surprising love-
illness to pass before my Illuminated
vision. The last scene Of the glori-
Gus panorama was court of inquiry
before which | was cited by the
winged gate-keeper. There vas but
one presiding functionary, and the
benches were empty. was glad OF
it, as | saw there was no one pres
ent to be witness against me. Judge
of my surprise when found that
the celestial Solon knew all about
me better than | did myself. He
said kindly, but searclingly, in ,-sy
vernacular tongue, "ypu came from
earth (" Of course | abented. "lou
knocked for admittaIce at the gate
to our kingdom eteiliali e To this
| assented. "Your natural curiosity
to exceed the limits Of propriety
was rebuked by the interposition Of
an angel I" | was ashamed of this
performance, so | did not venture
to look up. "You have indulged III
various irregularities" he said. |
was afraid he might make out case
of compound felony against me, 50
| offered no defense Whatever, He
continued, "you are dealing in in
toxicating liquors, Iroftably adul-
terated r replied res. Ill accord
ance with the recognized and legiti-
mate rules of trade. "You owe the
printer, and are necessarily under
some unrequitted obligation to the
devil - ! was thunleIstruck, and
expressed my astonihinent that the
claims of the printel and his direp-
utabla ossoo;ata shoul he nrpspntpI {