The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1874-11-15
CRIES OF THE ENGAGED.

Not few married men are in the habit Of
thinking that matrimony is nothing more nor
less than profound mistake, and in certain
of their moods, they are inclined to wish that
they had never made it. For one thing they find
th't welded life is expensive; for another
thing, they discover that it involves many and
sometimes calling restraints upon personal
liberty; and, for a third thing, they learn that
it is not always Of the most harmonious char.
acter. Husbands are taught that wives are
the reverse of angelic, and wives are plainly
shown that husbands are by no means noble,
and the acquisition Of this knowledge is
fraught with pleasantness, as 1t ruthlessly
destroys many dearly priced tancies.
But the nuptial state, even when not COM
pletely satisfactory, is one of comparative bliss
compared with that which sometimes precedes
marriage. As matter of fact many
engaged" persons may be said to live in
mild sort of purgatory, which even many
kisses and caresses cannot render anything
more than barely endurable. Take the case
of an ordinary engaged young man, and what
can be more melancholy? There are, as
rule. some half-score of people whom he is
bound to propitiate. At the same time, he
may hate them-and justly-with as great
cordiality as he loves the maiden whom he
wishes to marry.
He must, perforce, be civil to the papa and
mamma of his intended wife. Yet he may be
perfectly well aware tNtt Tue papa Is SIKH"
| hint," about whom the strongest thing III the
way of commentator that can be said is that
he is strictly honorable in business, as if q
man deserved any credit for not making him.
! self Thoroughbred cheat. 1t may be re-
| marked, by the way, that such is the low tone
of morality prevalent nowadays, if a man is
! not an absolute knave, though he may be-
| stingy and cheese-paring to the last degree it
seems to be thought by many people that he
ShO III have oil his fan1tc oopHnnaI ND no
held up to the admiration of large circle of
friends. The bridegroom, that is to be, may
know, further, that the scrubby papa will have
something to say when the question Of settle
ments is brought on to the carpet, and that he
Will not dover his daughter with q larger
portion than he can help, if, indeed he does
not skillfully get out OF lowering her with
anything at all
The luckless lover may also be perfectly
well aware that the mamma is one of those
dear-in more senses than one-creatures
who are never happy unless they are man
aging other peoples affairs. He may be fully
conscious that the amiable dame regar S him
with something very much like suspicion, and
that she is convinced that he and her daugh-
ter will never be able to get on without her
assistance and advice. He may, indeed, see
in the distance day in which he will have to
fight pitched battle with the generous
hearted female, during the course Of which
he will be compelled to intimate, in very plain
terms, that when he wants advice he will ask
for it, and that he is determined to be his own
master. Meanwhile, he is bound to smile at.
the majority of her aggravating affairs.
Then there are his lady loves brothers To
them, also, he has to assume a friendly, if not
absolutely cordial demeanor. IT some I'M
licked cub plays upon him diabolical prac-
tlcal Joke, he can do nothing but absurdly
grin at the wretch When brother of an
other type seems disposed to treat him in q.
supercilious fashion, and to show that he only
tolerates him for the sake of his sister, the uu-
fortunate engaged young man is bound to
simulate blindness that is simply preposter-
GUS in being protesting to have any senses
at ALL Again, it third brother, OF yet an
other sort, whose principle characteristics are
love for bad company and talent for get
ting into scrapes, selects him as his contidante
and friend-the attendant consequences Of
this are not easily torgotten-what can
the poor victim do but laugh and
prey tor speedy deliverance from all his
troubles? Then there are his betrothed's sis
ters, who are inclined to dislike him because
he has not shown a preference for them in
stead OF her to whom he is engaged. They
are ever on the alert to pick out the weak
places in his armor, and gladly give him sharp
prlcks when he is least prepared to bear them
Still he has to pretend that he loves these
ladies as if they were verify sisters. He is
made to feel that everybody looks upon HIM
as an interloper, and think that the sooner he.
takes the bride away to den of his own the
better it will be for all parties.
VI course, papa and mamma are, after q
fashion OF their own, civil to him in return
for his ELUSIVE polite attention to them. But
when he is talking business or politics with
papa, domestic economy with mamma,
with tbs brothers, and every
H.
avoid seeing that he is, in nine cases out Of
ten, successful only as bore. He knows, ana
they know, that after he has been safely mar
RED and done for he will drop into that insg-
nj icant position which he is most fitted to
adorn, and which is most conducive to his
comfort. Under these circumstances he may
be excused if he longs for the time when ho
may not be called upon to appear amiable
when he feels the reverse, when he NAV not
have to spend hours in conversino with people.
With whom he has no sympathies in common,
md when, in short, he may not have to act
he part OF thorough going humbug.
An engaged young lady is, perhaps, some
what more fortunately crcumstanced. She
las, at any rate, the privilege of wearing her
owe openly, which, in the case of a woman, is
something tangible, and great many hours.
1anui, which, also, in her case, is what she
hould be thankful for. But then, on the
ther hand, she is victim to the pal, full con-
ciousness that she is bound to be on her best
BEHAVIOR: She may be perfectly sure that her
overs friends Will keep sharp look ont
or her weak points. and that they
MI probably come to the conclusion,
nat she is not good enough for him. Then
IL "engaged people-male and female-ara
took subjects for ridicule. Every half
edged willing imagines himself at liberty to
Ut lame Jokes at their expense-jokes which
night net attract attention if it were no; fog
aelr bad taste. Let the unfortunate in,livid.
ais speak to each other in confidential man.
er, and at once there is set in circulation p.
ow OF Jocose satire, at which every one
sems bound to laugh consumedly 1t may
ell be asked, is there no way OF escape FROM