The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-06-03
a,n &ae,.,..

Dc Hed'J iouiouiooi you nave not Ia
to carry it.
Hood called'the slamming of
door by a person In a passion t"
wooden OATH"
A Brooklyn sewing society fine:
any meEber who talks scandal 81 fol
each offence; only the wealthy ar,
able to attend.
SHALL / cut this loin of mutton
saddle wise" said gentleman
"No,' said one of the guests, "cut il
bridle-wise, for then ] may have q
chance to get a bit III my mouth" {.
The question of where all the
Smiths come from is answered.. A
factory in q neighboring city bears
the sign: Smiths Manufacturing
Company"
"A Partisan musical dictionary
defines a shout to be ian unpleasant
noise produced by overstraining the
throat, for which great singers are
well paid and small children well
punished"
The editor Of the Philadelphia
Ledger has, we understand, kindly
offered to defray the expenses Of a
new nose for the effigy of Henry
VIII. in Westminster Abbey. .,.
Jones complained of bad smell
about the post Office, and asked
Brown what il could be. Brown did
not know, but suggested that it
might lie caused by The dead letters.
IAN OK does not taste as good
rs an oyster, but it can run twice as
fast" was the result of a boys eff
forts to write composition on oxen.
Another defined panegyric as ''some-
thing good for q baby when it had
the stomach ache" o.
81 would advise you to put your
head into q dye-tub; it's rather red"
said a joker to q sandy-haired sjrl
II would advise you to put yours in,
an oven; it's rather soft said Nan
cy.
--''If the jury conYicts my Client"
said Missouri lawyer, squaring sci
entitically, 81 shall feel compelled to
meet each one and hammer justice
into his soul through his head"
Verdict of not guilty,
1t is said that one If tile editors
Of a New Orleans paper, soon after
commencing to learn the printing
business, weat TO see 81 preachers
daughter. The next time he attend |
OF meeting he was considerably as
i"nlsIled at hearing The minister an
nounce as his text. My daughter
sricvousIy tormented with a.
uyiI.'
PRAY, sir, what profession are
you:" asked Mr. Edwin James Of a !
witness who had come prepared to |
prove fact, and who vas deemed |
not very respectable, sir, | am q |
shoemaker and vile merchant" ~ !
what SIR said the learned counsel. |
~ wine merchant aud shoemaker. !
Then" said Mr.. James, Il may De
scribe you as Il sherry eobbler!!' |
--eommon-sense Is looked upon q :
Vulgar quality but nevertheless it is
The only talicinan to conduct us
rrosperously through the world.
The man of refined sense has been
compared to one who carries about
with him nothing but gold, when he
may be every moment in want of
smaller change.
Capt. Bryant, who has long been
stationed on tie fur-islands of Alas.
ka, believes that the natives are Of
Japanese origin, and possess notice
able characteristics of that race
They are quick to learn, traetable,
and superior to the people of the
mainland. The latter are probably
OF Tartar descent,
Missionaries who have visited
the southwestern portion of the In
dian Territory say that the Indians {
have greatly improved within TWEEN t
ty years. More land is cultivated, ;
and there is more life and enterprise {
IN the country; this, too, notwith- c
standing the immense loss of cattle !
and property during the war.
MIR. Barnett of Obion county, t
Tenn, is unable, it would seem, to a
Keep the wolf from his door. He d
was attacked near his residence by a
large and ferocious animal of this S
description d few evenings ago., and n
might have been badly mauled had b
not his faithful dog, hearing his call p