davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
YOUR WIFE,S MOTHER.

There are people, l know, who are con-
stantly hurling jokes at their mother-in-
law and everybody else's mother-in- law
just as if the old lady had no business in
the world after marrying off her daugh-
ters. I'd like to see the chap who dared
fliug jokes at my wife's mother. 1t always
rests me to have the good old dear arrive
with her four band boxes, two hot-bricks,
five bundles of herbs, chest, and pillow
slip full of dried apples and burdock root.
l feel just like falling on her shoulder; but
l don't do it because my disposition is
quiet and undemons tlative. She no soon
er gets into the house than she says Maria
looks like ghost, or just like woman up
at Tarrytown whose husband mauls her
with a sled stake and is drunk half his time.
She says this looking full at me, but of
course | know she doesn't mean anything.
''Heavens but this is that same old car
pet on the floor ~ exclaims my mother-in-
law, as she removes her bonnet. And then
she looks at me and tells me how Tom
Scott saved his cigar and tobacco money
and bought Nellie a royal Wilton. l re-
member that when 1 was sparkling my
wife there was no carpet at all on the floor,
and so laugh heartily at the old lady's
joke. Tire baby, who has been playing all
day, is declared sick, and quart bowl of
catnip is, prepared. My wife is sent to
sleep off her sick head ache, though she
hadn't made any complaints, and I'm told
that had better go to the hotel for snp-
per. ''And no one will get into this house
after eight o'clock tO-nightn - adds the
good old creature. The parior stove has
to be moved to coincide with her views.
l cheerfully move it. The pictures have
to be raised or lowered the sofa wheeled
over: the what-not placed in the other
corner, and all the time l am working she
-bloss her old heart lis telling me how
Barker, who wanted to marry Maria, but
didn't get a chance, is now worth his thou
sands and thousands, and has = parlor
which Il king would hardly dare enter.
The servant girl is declared a sloven, and
| cheerfully discharge her, though she has
been with us year. The kitchen stove
has to be moved to the left, the heads of
all the beds turned to the north so as to
get the benefit of the electric current, and
the watch dog shot because his bark wakes
her at midnight. ''Anything further, dear
mother ?'' l ask, as look into her smiling
face. And she replies that Maria ought to
be sent South for her health the baby
boarded out by the week the front door
steps re-painted the lambrequins ex-
changed the interior Of the house grained
the kitchen stove exchanged for a range
and few more trifiing matters performed.
Some men get out of patience the moment
their mother-in-law enters the house, but
7 meet mine with a smile.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

A HORSE WITH LONG MEAIoRY.-Many
years ago, Mr.. Abram Dodge, of the town
of Ipswich, Massachusetts, owned beau
tiful horse which was the pet Of the fami-
ly. He was admired by all who knew his
playfulness and good qualifications. In
the summer it was Mr.. Dodge's habit oc-
casionally to have a frolic with his horse
in his barnyard, then let him out alone,
and he would go to the river, which was
about one-third of a mile distant where he
would bathe, then go to 4 common and
roll on the grass, then with the freedom of
air start for his home. His stable was
renovated for him while he was gone, and
his breakfast put in his crib. If he met
his master he would show some coltish
pranks, bound for the stable, pull out the
wooden pin that fastened the door, with
his teeth, and rush to the manger where
he expected to fnd his food. One night
the horse was stolen from the stable. AT
ter the expiration of sixteen years, Mr..
Dodge was at the tavern when a man drove
a horse up to the door. Mr.. Dodge at
once recognized his horse, and he told the
driver his reason for believing it to be his;
the man told of whom he bought the horse,
and that he had owned him for several
years Mr.. Dodge claimed his horse, and
it was finally agreed that if the horse wodld,
on being taken to his old stable, 60 through
the habit of bathing, rolling over Oh the
green grass, and pulling the pin from the
stable door as above described, that Mr..
Dodge should have him. When the horse
was let out into his old yard, lie reviewed
the premises for moment, then started
for his old bath tub, then for his green
towel on the common, then to his old sta
BILE, pulled the wooden pin, andwon for him
self a good meal and for his old master his
favorite horse. These facts are vouchsafed
for by reliable old residents of the beauti-
full, picturesque ole town, and show con-
ciusively the long memory of our noblest
animal.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

vass hand at the end. Another rope was
attached to the head of the block.
On questioning Tom the reply came that
he was still free from either weakness or
giddiness and reassured by this, the cap
tain began to carry out his plan of rescue,
every incident of which was watched with
intense interest by the crowd.
a fresh breeze was blowing, and the
captain, going away at some distance from
the church, let fly the kite. Soon it rose
in the air. 1t was not difficult to guide the
kite so that it rose over the spire and
brought its string within Toms reach.
The captain now fastened the string to
the rope, and called on Tom to pull it up.
Toms position enabled him to hook his
elbows round the iron rod, and thus have
the use of both hands. 1t cost him some
trouble, but the rope was at length pulled
up, and by it lie pulled mp the block
In accordance with the Captains order
he now bound the block to the iron rod SO
strongly that it could support his weight.
After this he passed the sling over his
shoulders and under him, so that he was
sitting on it. The sling was attached to a
rope reefed through the block, and extend
ing down to the hands of half-dozen men
below.
The hardest task of all remained and
this was to let himself down so that lie
might hang below the block. If he had
been in the slightest degree dizzy this could
not have been done but his head was
steady yet, and there were ropes to cling
to now, as he lowered himself At last he
hung below the block, with the sling under
him, and his bands grasping the line.
In this way he was lowered to the roof
There meli waited for him, aud he went
through into the attic, and SO down to the
ground?
AS he Joined his friends, g wild cheer
arose scores of hands grasped his in cor
dial greeting. This was because Of the re-
lief and JOY felt at mis- escape from death
but he really deserved to be reprimanded
and punished for his foolhardy adventure.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
From the BellefOnte Watchman.I
DENNIS SH1 I, THE WII,NESS

Twas Dennis Shay, the witness,
Who stood upon the stand:
And "A greener looking mortal
Ne'er left old Ireland
And the judge and iurv snickered
AT everything he'd say,
Whilst the lawyers, wise and witty,
Kept pumping Dennis Shay.
They styled him prince of blockheads!
IhIs witness on the stand,
a declared such stupid asses
disgrace to any land.
a chap chocl1 full of Blackstone,
And impudence as we'll,
SAID, Ask the fool who made him,
And L doubt if he could tell
"Whin ye AK such simple questions
1t ) meSlf can answer those!
Who made me? Why" said Dennis,
Twas Moses. I suppose"
''Ye Gods! twas Moses made him,
Did We hear the critter say ?''
And the court then took recess,
To laugh at Dennis Shay.
Then spoke Dennis, ''Misther Lawyer,
Perhaps it might not do
II l should AK the question,
Who's been afJher maxim yOu?"
ooh, yes" said he to Dennis,
Whilst he blew his legal nose,
Then wiuked at the court and answered,
Twas Aaron, l suppose!'
''Be my sowI.' then spoke up Dennis,
With a bit of rogush laugh,
Its mysilf has heard that Aaron
At one time made calf.
But it's mighty strange indade. sir,
To the likes of Dennis Shay,
That Misther Aaron's offspring
Should be plading law today
Doc IS 1873 7 & IT
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
AHMnNTA Is 4 THERAPErrrc AGrNr--

AGAIONIA As THERAPEUTIC AGENT
a writer in the British Medical Journal
states.that in case of fwhooping-coughi in the
last staGe-that is after the third week
he has had an ounce of the strongest liquid
ammonia put into gallon OF boiling water
in an open pan, and the steam kept up by
means of brick made red hot throughout
and put into the boiling water containing
the ammonia, the pan being placed in the
center of a room into which the patients
were brought as the ammoniated steam
was passing off. This method, he says,
was used in the evening, just before bed
time and it proved so efficacious in abat-
ing the spasmodic attack, and after threo
OF four days terminating the malady, as to
establish, beyond any doubt, the great
value of this mode of inhaling ammonia,
as a therapeutic agent in tranquilizing the
nervous system in whOoping cough.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
"HM ON THE JURY

Up in Blossburg, the other day, light
ning-rod man drove up in front of a hand
some edifice standing in the midst of trees
and shrubs, and spoke to Mr.. Summers,
who was sitting on the steps in front. He
aecosted Summers as the owner of the res
idence and said:
81 see you have no lightning rods on this
house."
'tNo," said Summers.
care you going to put any on?
"Wel, hadn't thought of it," replied
Summons
'YoU ought to. A tall building like
this is very uIuch exposed. I'd like to run
you up one of my rods twisted steel glass
tenders, nickle plated tips-cyerything
complete. May put one up to show you ?
I'll do the job cheap
Certainly you may if you want to.
haven't the slightest objection - said Sum
mers.
During the next half hour the man had
his ladders up aud his assistants at work,
and at the end of that time The JOB was
done. He called Summers out into the
yard to admire it. lie said to Summers
''Now that is all well enough, but if it
was my house I'd have another rod up on
the other side. There's nothing like being
protected thyroughly.''
That's true" said Summers, 'ft would
be better.''
''I'n put up another, shall ?'' asked the
man.
"Why, Of course, if you think it's best, -
said Summers.
Accordingly the man went to work again
and soon had the rod in its place.
That's tirst-rate job, :" he said to Sum
mers, as they both stood cycling it. Il like
such a man als you are. Big hearted, lib
eral, not afraid to put dollar down for
good thing. There's somo pleasure in
dealin' with you. l like you so much that
I'd put a couple more rods on that house,
out on the north end, and Que on the south,
for almost nothin'.''
'It would make things safer, suppose, 8"
| said Summers.
Certainly it would. I'd better do it,
hadn't I-hey ?''
''Just as you think proper" said Sum
mers.
So the man ran up two more rods, and
then he came down again and said to Sum-
mers
''There, that job is done. Now let's set
tie up.''
"Do what?''
"Why. the jobs finished, and I'll take
my money"
''You dou't expect me to pay you, 1
hope ?''
''Of course do. Didn't you tell me to
put these rods on your house ?"
''My houser' shouted Summers. '"Thun-
der and lightning 1 never ordered you
| to put those rods up. 1t would have been
ridiculous. Why, man, this is the court
house, and I'm here waiting for the court
to assemble. I'm on the jury. You seemed
to be anxious 10 rush out your rods, and
as it was none of my business, let You
go on. Pay for it! Come, now, that S
pretty good"
The Blossburg people say that the man
ner in which that lightning-rod man tore
around town and swore was fearful. But
when he got his rods off the courthouse
| he left permanently. He don't fancy the
| place.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

IL Peebleshire, Scotland, there was
half-witted man who had a notion that he
was rather religious and who was in the
habit of saying his prayers in the field be-
hind a tUrf-dyEc. One day he was fol
lowed 10 his retirement by some evil dis
posed persons, who, secreting themselves
on the opposite side, prepared to listen to
what he should say. Jack commenced his
devotions. and, among other things, eX-
pressed his opinion that he was very great
sinner, and that even were the tuTf-dyke
to fan upon him at that moment it would
be no more than he deserved. No sooner
had he said-this than the persons on the
other side pushed the dyke over upOn hun.
Scrambling ont from the debris he was
heard to say, ''Hech, sirs, it's an awful
world this boldly Gamma say thing IN
a Joke, but it's Zen in earnest"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

THE other day, at concert, gentle
man having put his hat upon chair to
lyeen his place, returned to claim it after a
short absence. The hat he found, sure
enough, where it had been left, only there
was a stout lady sitting OH it.
s.Madam," said he, ''you are sitting on
my hat"
The lady blushed little, turned round,
and said in the blandest manner
''Oh, I beg pardon I'm sure thought
it was my husband :.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

the spiritual change, and before the enauci-
patton their slaves were the most whipped
of any in the region. Tie rebellion freed
their slaves and otherwise impaired their
wealth. To repair their losses they again
exhibited themselves throughout The couu-
try, but they were only moderately success
full, owing partially TO Iapacity which
prevented managers, from having anything
- do with them. A greater curiosity had
sprung mp, too, in the two-headed girl
two negro children from South Carolina
who are joined at the hips. Chang and
Eng had grown uglier rs they had grown
older, the latter especially being wriukled,
thin and bent. Thoir tCmpers were soured,
and they quarrelled with each otncr con
stantly- They had gained greatly IN intel
hgeUce, however and were sensitive TO the
gaze of the crowd. They also retained
strong secession proclivilies. During their
absence their wives managed the Ilanta-
tOns. Those OF the children who were
not deaf mutos We're sent to school, and
are now well educated. Before their last
exhibition here the twins had been again
in Europe.
UNION IN DEATH.
The cause of their moroseness as thev
grew older is believed to have been the
probability of the fatal effect of one 5 death
upon the other. The idea of separating
them by a surgical operation has been Of
ten broached, but physicians had generally
agreed it would XIII them. Therefore each
was haunted with dread of being bound
to his dead brother, with almost certain
ty of dying under any attempt to sever him
from the corpse. While in Paris and Lon
don, they consulted the most eminent sur
geons. One experiment, however, dashed
all hope of separate existence. The hga-
ture was compressed until all circulation
of blood between them was stopped. Eng
soon tainted, and 4 removal Of the COM
press was necessary to prevent death
This proved that neither could sustain .
separate ciIculation of the blood, and to
have cut the ligature Iwould have killed
both. With this knowledge they returned
to their homes and lived as they lad done
before. Later the health of Eng grew
worse, and Chang was frequently obliged,
although well himself, to keep to his bed
with his sick brother But about = year
ago Chang suttered a paraIytic stroke,
from which time his health was the worse
of the two. He took to drink as a relief
from suffering, and the lives OF the twins
grew wTetCLed indeed.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
The LITTLE GIRL WHO WOULDN'T EAT cRUsTs.

The awfulest times that ever could be
They had with bad little girl of Dundee,
Who never would finish her crust
In vain they besought her,
And patiently taught her,
And told her she must.
Her grandma would coax.
And so would the folks
And tell her the SHINING
OF such a beginning.
But no. she wouldn't
She couldn't, she shouldn't
Shed have them to know
So they might well go.
Now what do you think soon came to pass d?
This little girl Of Dundee, alas
Who wouldn't take crust in the regular way
Sat down 10 feast one summers day;
And what did the people that little girl give,
But a dish Of bread puddjng-as sure as live!
st. Nicholas Magazine.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
( THE GREAT CAUS z
OF
Human Misery.

....- 90 70 Scaled EUUcLOpe. Price 6 cts.
.H the nature, treatment and radi-
-. HH1i W Weakness, OF SpermatOr-
-.A Roy Srlf-Abuse, Involuntary
i.Hninucy, Nervous Debility, and
I > To- Marriage generally; Consump-
'-.d Fits; Mental and Physical
d ...,s Ae.--Iiy hOB'T J. CULV ERW ELL,
h "I iu" Green Book" sc.
nHWucd author, in this ad mira
r-.' yearly proves from his own eXpe-
ny, IA. awful consequences Of Self
h.. .' rl"ctujlly removed without
D, E,.. without dangerous surgical op-
ps.t..a .a-lrs- H~iruments, rings or cor
b out "a mode OF cure at once GER
b rl.. tih by which every sufferer, no
Il a.. Hls condition may be, may cure
'u..T .t.puEatoiy and radically.
s.r--'.... ~. .A's tcll pTOUc q boon to thousands
srr-sl seal, 20 any address, in a plain
s,ara t'., on the receipt OF six cents, of
'1e Publishers.
Bower, \ IS. J. G. KLINE & CO..
'' 'tN lork; POst-Ohice Box 1886.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

A Hearth and Tome correspondent says
linen THAI is placed Immediately after be-
ing ironed near the stove or in the hot sun
is sitter when dry than if it is permitted
to dry slowly. 1t is a good plan to lay col
lars and small articles on 4 waiter, and set
them on kettle OF other support on the
stove till they are quite dry. Sometimes
the iron Will stick in q manner perfectly
uuaccountable if it is rubbed on a board
on which fine salt has been sprinkled, and
then passed over brown paper with wax
i'll its folds, the sticking propensities will
be checked. 4 bowl of clear water and
c,ean old linen is useful 10 remove any
specks the linen may acquire before or
while being ironed.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

y WEALTHY pnrcenu lately gave tho
church which h9 attends two tables of
stone, with the ten coInmandauts engraved
upon them whereupon, member Il llta
church remarked that his reasons for Civ
in., away the commandments was that he
couldn't keep them,
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
4rINISTRATOR)S NOTICE.

~ NJ ,5I oI JAMES CAMPBELL, decd.
Cr.rf ~, 'lllli~tutiou on the estate OF
ID sur-,,,. l''e OF Washington township,
Deb ra..44r. nave been granted TO the un-
s1n,rrf.ti..S Do Summitville, to whom
'4kp frrr,..l,,. 70 said estate are request
Ems or ,.'.'' &C. payment, and those hav-
'"aout delay. VIII make known the
.alt Doe 'I,iiE ,d SHARBAUGH, Admir-.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
DRAWING DETERRED TILL THE
st OF March Next
fonpIs,e the sale Of tickets and make
III - r n "TNH.
Cash Gifts :, ia he distributed by
Ot among thc Gicket-holders.
JIST OF GIFTS.
.WGLn. Ii Cash. amounting to 81. .5OO. o.

-- s1..r. and distribution of gifts will pos
t' g.. .r.nTiiV take place uli the day
whether an the tickets arc sold or not,
--.'9 gifts all paid in proportion to the
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30

.a. .''.D''-Came to the prem
.g-. t.Hgr in CIearneId township.
ma. i. '.,n.er last, a medium sized
- ,'I The owner is requested to
aa property, pay charges. and
f.. ... l".se ne wiz be disposed of
'u1u lac. +. X. DUN EGAN.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
PRICE OF TICKETS.

e l.a..s. $50; Halves, S25: Tcnths; or each
- Eleven Whole Tickets for $500; 22J4
u '-,".H. lla Whole Tickets for 81, 900; 227
.-a..s .Hr $4,000. No discount on less
= 7.r.0 .. .kets.
.-a. .-agrucics and orders for tickets
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
ERAMLETTE.

J.. ..rNry KY. and Manager Gift Con
L..r .rary Building, Louisville, KY, or
p l. tiAh~ 81 Co, Eastern Agents,
"' BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
ROEGIl & ca.

IN Agency FOR the reception Of advertise
H- American NClCspGE Eelt-thc most COM
enlistment of the kind in the world. Six
.l Newspapers are kept regularly on liic.
rsaHr-lo ion by customers. Every ADVERTISE
taken ar the home price of the papGr.with-
-.ffr.-wal charge or commission. An ad-
r I'D ..t..mg with the 4 gency. is saved trOu-
h ..-~.-r. 'Cncc- making one contract in
..r..u- . uUdrCd or thousand. Book
4 -v r.-.s Dutaining lists of best papers.
L @rga-.rs- religious, agricultural, class.
a daily .aI country papers. and all publ
4 which ar. sueeial.y valuable to advertisers.
me .nf -.Gtion about prices, is sent FREE
aH.r.-- .a application. Persons at n dis
h .,h.u- E. make contracts for advertising in
". ..t.. county, State or Territory OF the
[ State up any portion of the Dominion of
b. mas -.uL o concise statement Of what they
-.-..aur with "a copy Of the Adver tiSCment
-r. ... .rru3. and VIII receive Information
-- a-. which viii enable them 70 decide
.rt. increase or reduce the order. For such
.r-au here is no charge. Orders are taken
l1-.e paper as well As for list for single
ltilv JAS for : larger sum.
/ q
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-01-30
hereby give notice that

'u.s#.... ~ -l\t ilOJlCc IildG
lsuI.r.. .. ..'"-!It from David crook all
'i.sr,-r .''' ls now sDwed on the Ad-
'""uship, as p,rayrccmcnt
-. r.. -. i. L. DGNEGAN.
Ohio Waisenfreund. [volume] (Pomeroy, O. [Ohio]) 1874-1953, 1874-12-16

SDne ibm al @ebote 1tanben 10 oob er
taum 1prad)1 pDne ieinen 3ubDrerl, SDrd=
llea, s,t entlDden bann aber, lpenn CT
ppln jiil9iteit @eri6te, poll ben geiben
bes Ssrrn poer ben @Duenltrafen rebete,
alles tYon III ein 1ol6es SdlM6sea illno
g9eiuell aus6rad, baB er oft Iange 3eit
ill,e balten muBte. @ielen erf6ien oos
oa6er al1 4tbnl mllnberbar, hnB, bd< Il Die
3aDLber S6rer rlleii in CROP ipar, 4hob
piete@Iebr melt bon i6m ltebens nlllBten,
oo6 oieieSni6ts lpelligers be,tli6 als Sic
ndbetlI i'm berltanben. Mn0 >ein 9ln=
oeres. luqr Elm Wnnber an linn, baB er,
oen often Mpo1teln glei6, 6ie. @abe BET
Spra1elt bate .9a erz-nin1lidx tpte
mir ge5eben 70. piele 9dnher hrr4Sog,
,n0 3il,lnler in iIeiuer Welltterlprade, oen
9ialeite pon 8aleilcta rebete, berIta,lben
i'm bod eHle, S,lnse lpie Site uno beioen
&el6le9tern Mngeb6rige gSort Dor
8prty sals lei erin zines Seben @ater=
Lamb geborel1 llub rebe in ieinem Soiome.
Sa @enua b6rten lin @rie9en, 9eut=
l6e,M Sarben, ltnsorn uno Mnoere, sic
ntbts2 als lire Mutterlprabe fannnten;
unbIs bod am Gnbe Der Yreoi9t 1aut
3eu9rliB gaben; G,uie lie ieoes Mnrt per4
1tanoen, alsaBGtte. ler in ,i6rer Spra1e
gerebtt: tHSn Ser 8retagne@ beinben 1i1
@iele: Die man, bretpni1irenbe 8retonen
nennt. bereh'' eil1ige 5ipar ipoDl fran56lil6
reoen1 ote aberrin Wfai(e, auber 0er eige=
nom, MIR ,iI,np1,, hefnn.4pn7 GSnrnr4,e fpinr