The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-10-20
Smelling tho Butter.
particular

A n athletic individual was noticed sill
IN ding along Montgomery street, San
Francisco, lately, with an anxious eye
peering inquisitively into the window of
every eating-house which he passed. He
was evidently man whose choice in gas
Economical matters was governed solely by
the quantity of meat, vegetables aud liquids
given in exchange for stipulated sum.
Finally he appeared to be satisfied with
the inducements held out in . long bill Of
fare which, tackled to carcass of mutton
in front of window, fluttered in the
breeze, and informed the hunger-haunted
passer-by that four dishes could be had
within for twenty-five cents.
The man went in, aud in few moments
was tackling slim meal with vigorous
avidity. After finishing his allotted four
plates, with the exception of few slices of
bread, his eye fell upon a small plate of
butter, which in his hurry, he had evidently
not noticed before. He was about to
plunge his knife into the butter, when
something in its appearance caused him to
pause, and while pausing, he took occasion
to reflect. Suddenly he reached forward,
and, taking the small butter-plate between
his finger and thumb he held it toward the
light and examined its contents for nearly
a minute. He next held IL to his nose and
snuffed its SAVIOR three successive times, with
puzzled expression of countenance.
All this time the restaurant keeper was
standing Immediately behind the butter
analyzer, watching him attentively, and
his face was indicative Of rage and disgust.
"Perhaps you don't like that butter ?"
was his first remark, semi-interrogatively
The man at the table simply laid down
the butter, and turned round with an
inquiring expression on his visage but he
said nothing. WA.
perhaps you don't like that butter -
yelled the restaurant man, in a somewhat
savagely explanatory tone.
az don't know as yet-the fact is
haven't tried it,"
"Wall, you looked at it as if you
thought something was the matter with it.
Now, if you have got any remarks to make
about that butter, you can make 'em right
here.
al was simply examining the peculiar
appearance Of the oleaginous compound" I"
replied the man at the table and he spoke
with exasperating GOODNESS. "Those blue
streaks impart to the article a variegated
appearance which somewhat excited my
curiosity. Blue streaks, l believe, are
considered novelty in butter; are they
not ?"
The restaurant keeper was somewhat
taken back by the calm reply Of the other,
but recovered himself sufficiently to re-
mark
"Blue streaks are always in good butter
at this season of the year. You must be
one of those up-country lunatics, not to
know that"
He paused for moment and then re-
sumed a threatening manner
"You must understand that allow no
man to come into this restaurant and go
a-sufin' around the butter no well-bred man
ill do it."
approximated that butter to my nose
simply to ascertain If those blue streaks
make any particular difference in the smell
. think that the streaks make no remarka-
BILE difference in the smell in fact, am
of the opinion that If any difference at all
occasioned it is all for the better As
hold that having paid for the article,
have perfect right to smell of it, and
should do so again If thought it at all
necessary but do not think 80. smelled
that greasy substance in this instance mere
ly to ascertain If 1t was the new article Of
commerce called eleomargarine, and hav-
ing thus arrived alta satisfactory conclusion
in regard to the matter, l shall have no oc-
casion to smell it again"
Here the frigid customer deposited a
quarter upon the table and turned to CO.
Before he could reach the door, however,
the restaurant keeper, excited to an un-
controllable pitch Of frenzy by the speak
er's remarks, yelled vociferously
"Its an internal lie keep none Of
your bull butter in this house. You lie II
you say SO, sir can lick the man who
says so, sir ! / can lick him now " and he
smote his guest upon the nose.
In another instant the guest, fortified,
doubtless, by his recent substantial meal,
launched his right between the others
eyes and landed him under the nearest
table, stunned and senseless. There was q
clash Of plates, rattle Of steel forks and q
dash of butter dishes accompanying the
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