Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1874-09-10
Pickings and Steallngs.

oh. ma. There's an angel with
wings" 'Pshaw. that's only Louis
vile girl with ears spread"
A Cape May youth used the deeds Of
his fathers farm for gun wsds. The stamp
on the bottom OF the document wasn't any
thing like the impression the old man
made on the same part Of the lads ana
tony.
"A professional man not far from State
street Boston. returning 70 his office one
day. after a substantial lunch. said COM
placenily to his assistant, MIR. Pretkiu,
the world looks different 10 man when
he has three inches of rum In him." " rs.
replied the junior without a moments hes
itstion. ''aud he looks different to the t-orid!'
A couple OF neighbors became so In
imical that they would not speak 10 each
other; but one of them. having been CON
verted at a camp meeting, on seeing his
former enemy. held out his hand, saying.
"How dye do Kemp? ! am humble
enough to shake hands with dog
At meeting in London to receive
report from the missionaries sent To dis
cover the iribes Of Israel. Lord II. was
asked TO take the chair. Il take he re-
piled. "A great interest In your researches.
gentlemen. The fact. is l have borrowed
money from all these jews now known,
and Ii you can ind new set shall feel
very much obliged"
An old gentleman went into the OIL ce
OF one Of the papers in st. John. y. b.
the other day and presenting a slip cut
from London paper, announcing the
death OF person well known in ST John.
asked to have It inserted, las there are "A
great many friends ofhis here who would
like TO hear Of his death"
II then took occasion 70 thank her for
having never IMPOSED sGffffge for women
when IL was so popular TO do SO in Wash
ington. She answered that when Il was
explained to her by its advocates she was
always IN its favar. But she said. Il am
very domestic myself, and have no inclina-
ton TO change my mode of living. | was
Il favorite daughter, and am an INDUCED
wife Then She said: Mr.. Grant say,
have all my rights. and his, too. l-Jcn-
ME Collins interview with the Presidents
wife.
a STRONG CYREMoSY.-A young and
newly hedged justice OF the peace out In
Illinois wa> recently called upon for the
first time TO marry a couple lie neryously
looked through Every man his own law
yer. and " Haine's Township Laws" but
failed 10 find the desired form. The crowd
grew impatient. and he told the couple to
hold up there right hands. This done. he
pronounced the following charge: You
both and each OF you do soemnly swear
that in the cause now upon hearn. you
will tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth, and that YOU will
love, honor. cherish, and obey each other
during the term of your natural lives, so
help you God" Both answered solemnly.
Il WILL, and the justice charged them a
dollar each, and pronounced them man
and wife.
HOTEL MATHEMATIcs.-Ago good story is
told OF John ,. Corning, u gentleman well
known in railway circles, who has lately
returned from Louisville, Ky. II seems
that the first week in Louisville John stop
ped at the willard House." and was
charged $40 per week. He told Mr.. Will
ard. however. that as he should be away
a good deal and have to pay for meals
taken outside, he would like to arrange for
a deduction in such cases. II was finally
agreed that Corning should be allowed
80 cents fof each meal taken away from
the hotel. At the end OF a week Corning
appealed with his little carpet-bag, and
wanted TO settle. His bill was made out
at $40. But. quoth the childlke Corning
Il have had some meals out .All
right, said Mr.. willard. how manv.'
Let me see unused Corning. Monday.
two, Tuesday. two, Wednesday, TWO,
Thursday, two, Friday. two, Saturday,
two, Sunday, two. This Is Monday. |
have been here seven days, and had four
teen meals out, which, at IS cents each,
makes $1,000. But never mind the so
cents, Willard. Call it square,