The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1874-10-06
FFom Tho Bn1tlmOre Galette.
FATHER TOM AND THE POPE.

Every one who knows anything of the
humorous literature Of the century has
laughed hundred times over that won.
deriul story of " Father Tom and the
Pope; or, A Night at the Vatican"
which has been attributed to so many of
the leading Irish humorists, and is enough
OF itself to have made the reputation of
the best of them. From its first appear.
ance in Blackacood Catholics and Protes-
tants alike have enjoyed its marvellous and
abounding fun, and it is ono of the few
things written in cur time which people
20 not refuse to read to-day because of
having read them yesterday.
But with all its prodigal clcvcrness and
humor, nc had never imagined that it
would furnish serious precedent to A.
merlcan ecclesiastical jurisprudence.-
Least of all had we supposed that so de.
vout and superhumanly solemn body as
the Investigating Committee of Plymouth
Church would seek in u volume of unholy
mirth ard fiction the only existing author.
ity for its rules Of evidence and processes
OF logic. The extract which follows, from
Father Tom" will explain itself and
our allusion. Those who know the story
will remember that the reverend Father
being in Room, ov ceorse the Pope axed
hn to take pot look wild him." and they
proceeded together to !" investigate the
composition of distilled liquors. As So
ciability grew warm between them, Father
Tom volunteered to astonish his Holiness
with new " preparation of chymicals," D."
after tho manner of the "onld country" ."
To make this miraculous mixthir" ex-
actly what it ought to be, his reverence
insisted that "a taymaio hand was on
dispensably necessary to produce tho n.
daptation OF the PARTICLES and the but.
Ter OF the Vatican had accordingly brot
up Miss Eliza (not Elizaboth), one of
the iairest maids OF the household, that
she might stir the milk in the skillet with
the little finger Of the right hand Miss
Eliza Is deScIiooi as stepping like a
three year old,aLd bluShing like the brake
of day" and the Pope had very early to
rehnke his Reverence with some sternness
for his deludhering :alk to the young
woman Nothing daunted however, the
salinot Father managed somehow to up.
st the candle and put the windy cur
tanH IN Peril of fire, and while the rest
OF the company were engaged in getting
things put to iiehl-.' the incident or ac.
cident occurred which can only be told
in the words OF TIE story:
" And now" SAYS Mickey Iloflerman,
the story-teller, " | have to tell you ov a
really onpleasant occurrcucc II was
a Prodesan that was in it. Ia say that
while ,he popes back was turned Father
Tom made free wild the two lips ov Mis-,
Eliza; but, upon my conscience, be.
lleve it was mere mistake that his 10
illness fell into on account of his being an
ould man and not having aither his eye
sight or his hearing very perfect. Al
any rate it can't be denied that he had
sthrong IMPRESSION iha. sich was the case
for he wheeled about as quick as though
jist as his Riv'rence was sitting down ant
charged him wild tho offence plain anC
plump. is it kissing my housekeepel
before my face you are, you villaiu?' say
he. Go down out Of this says he t.
Miss Eliza, aud do you be packing Of
wild you he says to Father Tom, for IL
, not safe, so it isn't. to have the likes o.
you in house whore there's temptation
in your way
, "ls it me- says his Riv'rence " VIII,
, what would your Holiness be at, at al
r 2uIe wasn't dong no such thing"
Would you have me doubt the evi
4 deuce oy me- sinses?" says the Pope
, "would you have me doubt the testimon
ov my eyes and ears?' says he.
r " Indeed, would go" says his Xiv
g 'rence, " if they pretend to have intorme
!. your Holiness oy any sich ioolshness."
! Why" says the Pope, " I've seen yo
= aither kissing Eliza as plain as see th
!. nose on your face | heard the smac
5 you gave her as plain as ever hear
n thunder"
d " And how do you know whether 20