Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-09-26
lJ O'HOOLAHAN'S MISTAKE.
Married When Drunk and Repenting
When S0ber-A Nevada Romance.
Virginia Enterprise.


Virginia Enterprise.
An amusing scene occurred in JUS
tice Youngs courtroom an evening OF
two since. Two sons of the Emerald
Isle, full of ''chain lightning" and law
rushed in, and, advancing to the JUS
tees little law pulpit at the rear of
the courtroom, both began talking at
once.
oe Zone at time. if you please" said
the judge. al nillsr.sI
"Judge-yes honor-will 1 sphake,
thin?" said one of the men.
"Silence!" roared his companion. II
am here! Let me talk. Phwat do you
know about law?'' ad
Keep still yourself, sir" said the
judge.
Let him say what he wants.
"Well, | want me name aft the pai-
per. That's phwat I want" said the
man. t....t '...... s.
"Off what paper" said the judge.
well, aft the paper; ye ought to
know phwat paiper. Shure, ye marri-
ed me, they say ~
ITO whom?" asked the judge.
Some female, sir, and l don't want
her, sir. 1t don't 60 and l want my
my naime aft the paper"
Silence !" roared the friend, bring
ing his huge fist down upon the little
pulpit, just under the Judges nose,
with tremendous thwack 'Silencel
L am here. Phwat do you know about
law? Sure, yer honor. it was Tim
McCloskey's wife that he married
his wildly, | main. You married thin,
yer honor"
was dhrunk at the time, sir.
Yis. sir, an | was not a free aigant,
an / don't know q thing about it, sir
divil roawst me! / want me naime aft
the paiper-I repudiate, SIR"
Silence Let me spake. Phwat
do you know about law2" bringing
his fist down upon the judges desk.
But Twas dhrunk l was not at
the time free agent"
'sSilencet I am here to shakei 1t
does not depind on that at all. 1t de-
pinds-and there is the, whole pint,
both in law and equity-it depends
whether was the woman a sole thrader
or not at the time of this marriage was
solemnated. That is the pint, both in
law and equity
"But I was dhrunk at the time.
Divil roawst me i'll knowed | was git
tin married. / was not free agent.
/ want the Judge to talk me naime aft
the paper. 1t don't go"
The Judge tried to explain to the
man that, drunk or sober, he was mar
ried to the woman fast enough, and if
h. wanted divorce he must go to an
other court. ...... .-..-..4
"Divil burn me p cried the man, ''if
I 60 to another court. Ye married
me, and ye can unmarry me. Talk me
naime aft the paper"
"Silencer' cried the friend, bringing
his fist down in close proximity to the
judges nose. ''Phwat do you know
about law? | admit, judge, that he
must go to a higher coort; that it DOWN
comes the fist). if the woman Ca n prove
(whack) that she was at the time the
marriage was solemnated (whack a reg
ularly ordained sole thrader (whack).
On this point it depinds, both in law
aud equity"
Il have had enough of thisl' cried
the Judge; Il cannot divorce you.
You are married, and married you
must remain, for all can dol"
"Ye won't talk me naime aft the
paiper, thin?"
1T would not mend the matter"
said the judge.
"Ye won't talk it aff?"
mo; 1 won'tp' fairly yelled the
judge: l
"Silence! !" cried the partner, bring
ing down his fist and raising a cloud
of dust under the judges nose. ut
depends whether, at the time, the wo-
man was a regular sole -" .--a
Get out of here" cried the judge
I've had about enough of this y at
the same time rising.
"Ye won't talk it aft? Very we'll,
thin, I'll 60 hoam and deyorce meself.
Divil roawst me, I'll fire the thatch
| will"
Here he glanced toward the front
door; his under jaw dropped, he ceased
speaking, and in a half-stooping posture
he went out of the back door of the
Office like shot.
The valiant friend and legal adviser
also glanced toward the door, when
he, too, doubled up and scooted in the
foot steps of his illustrious principal.
A look at the door showed it dark
ened by a woman about six feet IN
height, aud so broad as to fill it almost
from side to side.
The Judge took look at this noun
tain of flesh, doubled up, and Was,
about to take the back track, but
thought better of it and took refuge
behind his little law pulpit.
The mountain advanced, gave utter
ance to sort of internal rumble, and
then, amid fire, smoke and burning
lava, belched out:
did | or did | not see Michael
O'Hoolahan sneak out of your back
door"
Il believe Hoolahan is the name
of one of the gentlemen who Just went
out" said the Judge.
Advancing upon the pulpit-behind
which the Judge settled lower and
lower-the mountain belched: you
be-e-lave! You hnow it was Michael
O'Hoolaban? Now, what is all this
eonnivin' in here about? Am 1 wildly
again? Did ye talk his name aft the
paiper? Did you talk it aff?
"N-no," said the Judge.
"Ye didn't? Don'tyou decave me?'
mo; | give my word and honor
I didn't. I Couldn't had no right"
TITS well for ye ye didn't. I'll tache
him to be rinnin' about connivin' to
lave me a lone wildly again, whin I'm
maxim a jintleman of himP'
With this she sailed back to the
door, where she turned and shaking
her fist. thus addressed the tip of the
Judges's nose, which alone was visible
above the little pulpit: Now, do you
mind that you lave his name on the
paper! IwaDt no meddlin' wild man
wanst git himr