Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1874-08-15

| Outside Jn6 DOGel, wherever you
wander, you are intelligently assisted
by the signs. You cannot come to
grief so long as you are in you right
mind. But the difficulty is to stay
in your right mind with so much in
struction to keep track of. For In
stance:
''Keep off the grass
"Don't climb the trees.
GLANDS off the vegetables"
'Do not hitch your horses to the
shrubbery."
'Visit the cave of the Winds"
"Have your portrait taken in your
carriage"
"Forty per cent. levied on all
peanuts or other Indian curiosities
purchased in Canada"
photographs of the Falls taken
here"
"Visitors will please notify the
superintendent of any neglect on the
part of employees to charge for COM
modities or services. (No inattention
of this kind observed.)
'Don't throw stones down; they
may hit people below"
''The proprietors will not be re-
sponsible for parties who jump over
the Falls" More shirking of re-
sponsibiIity-it appears to be the
prevailing thing here.
always had a high regard for
the signers of the Declaration of
Independence, but now they do not
really seem to amount to much
alongside the signers of Niagara
Falls. To tell the truth the multi
tudes of signs annoyed me. 1t was
because I noticed that they always
happened to prohibit exactly the
very thing l was just wanting to do.
| wished to climb tree; sign pro-
hibited it. and Twas just In the
act of throwing a stone over to as
tonish and pulverize such parties as
might be pic-nicing below, when a
sign / have Just mentioned forbade
that. Even that satisfaction was
denied me, land /, a friendless or
phan.) There was no resource near
but to seek consolation in the flow
ing bowl. l drew my flask from my
pocket, but it was all in vain. A
sign confronted me, which said:
"No drinking allowed on these
premises.
On that spot / might have perish
ed for thirst but for saving words
of an honored maxim that fitted
across my memory at that critical
moment. "All signs fail in dry
times" Common law takes prece-
dence of the statutes. was thus
saved.
The noble red man has always
been a darling of mine. l love to
read of his inspired sagacity; and
his love Of the wild free life of noun
tain and forest; and his grand truth
fulness; his hatred Of treacherY; and
his general nobility of character; and
his stately metaphorical manner of
speech; and his chivalrous love for
his dusky maiden; and the pictur-
esque pomp of his dress and accourte-
ments. When 1 found the shops of
Niagara Falls full of dainty Indian
bead work, stunning moccasins,
and equally stunning toy figures,
representing human beings who car
| ried their weapons in holes bored in
their arms and bodies, and had feet
shaped like pipe, / was filed with
emotion. I knew that now, at. last
1 was going to come face to face
with the red man. A lady clerk in
the shop told me, indeed that all her
grand array of curiosities were made
by the Indians, and that they were
plenty about the Falls and that they
were friendly, and that it would not
be dangerous to speak to them.-
And sure enough, as 1 approached
the bridge leading over the Lunar
Island, came upon a. noble son of
the forest sitting under a tree dill
gently at work on a bead reticule.-
He wore slouch hat and brogans,
and had short black pipe in his
mouth. Thus does the banefnl In
fuence of our effeminate civilization
dilute the picturesque pomp which
is so natural to the. Indian when far
removed from us in his native
haunts. l addressed the relic, as
follows: z.:.7 % - p i--7i-azs 49,
'tIs the Wawhoo-W W ang- W anga of
the Whack-a-Whack happy? Does.
the great Speckled Thunder sigh for
the war path, OF. is his great heart
content Of dreaming of his dusky.
maiden, of the Bride of the Forest?
Does the mighty sachem yearn, to
drink the blood of his enemies, or is
he satisfied to make bead retieules
for the pappooses Of the pale face?
Speak, sublime relic of by=gone
grandeur-venerable ruin, speak,"
can is it meslf, Dinnis Hoollgan,
that ye'd be takin' for bloody In
gin, ye drawlin' lantern jawed, spi-
der legged devil! By the piper that
played before Moses, I'Il ate you'll"
Invent away from there.
Bye and bye in the neighborhood
of Terrapin Tower, I came upon
gentle daughter of the aborigines, in
fringed and beaded buckskin mocca-
sins and leggins, seated on bench
with her pretty wares about her.
She had just carved out wooden
chief that had strong resemblance
to clothes-pin, and was now boring
a hole through the abdomen to put
his bow through. 1 hesitated mo-
ment and then addressed her:
els the heart of the forest maiden
heavy? Is the laughing Tsdpole
lonely? Does she mourn over the ex-
tinguished council fires of her race,
and the vanquished glory of her an
cestors? Or does her sad spirit
wander afar to the hunting grounds
whittier her brave GobIer OF the
Lightnings is gone? Why Is my
daughter silent? Has she aught
against the pale faced stranger?"
"Faix, an is it Biddy Malone ye
dare to be eallin' names? Lave this,
or I'll shy yer lean carcase over the
catharact, We snivellin' blaggardp