The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1874-07-31
In Brooklyn infant class there is q

PACA1uM lOE BOUu UcuhPlOT, tQe e4s
eei!ence Of tho behavior consisting
largely III abstinence from wriggling.
At the close of IL recent session the
amiable aud accomplished tcacher said
to small girl, "Beckie. my dear, you
were very good little girl to-day"
'Ies'n. couldn't help bein' good.
l got IA till neck, the youthful Beckie
replied, with perfect seriousness.
A WIFE's ANSWER "A husband find-
ing piece broken out Of one Of his
plates and another one out of his eau-
Ger. petulentiy exclaimed to his wife:
''My deur, it seems to me that every
thing that belongs to you is broken"
"Well, yes; oven You seem to be lit
tie cracked"
The following notice is to be seen
displayed at the corner Of o street in
Washington: "Gentlemen are earnest
ly requested not to fire off their re-
volvers near this corner, az the pro.
prietor OF the peanut stand is nervous.
and has a double.barreled shotgun
constantly on hand
A lad who borrowed dictionary to
read, returned 1t after be had got
through, with the remark: cit was
VERY nice reading. but it somehow
changed the subject VERY often" It
was his sister who thought the first ice
cream she tasted was leetle touched
with the frost.
dying man in Maine requested that
the ceremonies at his funeral should be
conducted by certain auctioneer, in
whom be had confidence. Said he:
Hes IN easy, fluid talker, and
alters liked to hear him. I've had
dealin's with him. and 1 alters found
be set out things iist ns they was.''
Salt Lake has been victimized BY a
Snowman, who announced that he
would CAUSE "hnman body to ap-
pear aud disappear before an audi
ence." He appeared, disappeared and
got their money. He filled the pro.
gramme.
When you tell yonr servunt to say
that you are not u tome, you merely
request him to assert that you are not
book. If his assurances to this eff
feet induce visitors to believe that you
are not at home, you are not answera-
BILE for the misunderstanding.
The difference between having a
tooth properly drawn by profession
al surgeon, and having 1t knocked out
misceilaneoualy by fall upon the
pavement is only u slight verbal dis
tinction-onc is dental and the other
| accidental.
Paris ladies wear around the neck
the medals or crosses won by their
husbands for the service they have
rendered their country The gentle
men wear the ribbons only; the ladies
wear tue medals.
Dear me, how huidly he talks!"
said Mrs. Partington recently. at o
temperance meeting. II am always
rejoiced when he mounts the nostrils,
Tor his eloquence warns every car
fridge in my body"
asThe reaction against the anti-saloon
crusade in Ohio has set in tiercely, and
the internal revenue records show that
more is being doue in the liquor bust.
ness than before the crusaders were in
augurated.
| The women's temperance oath that
mo lips shall touch my lips that have
touched bottle" will compel all the
young men to use tumblers or wine
glasses.
Grace Darling's tomb is also in q
ruined condition, and the people near
where she lived are not aware chat she
ever rescued anybody.
"You must not flirt with the girls il
yon expect to use your oar successful
ly," is standing order OF the universe
ty crews at Saratogs.
A Vermont phyeioi.n precticed me
dicine sixty years, and died in the poor
house at the age of 102.
The bark OF dog cannot be peeled
off without destroying the usefulness
OF the animal as dog.
Pure white driving.reins in web are
the thing in Central Park this season
in the way of horse gear.
Cannot they train Cinnamon to ea,
grasshoppers? is the inquiry of West
ern paper.
plymouth Sewerage. they call it il
the West-in the South "Nest Foul
ing"
Mr.. ". A. Cautey, q young and
popular citizen of Camden, died or
the 23d.
8The annual payments to Queen Vic
torla and her children aggregate
S3,091.745.
Mr.. NJ. r. Scott, OF Anderson, died
oD tho OSfh