The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-12-11
st.,sE CURIOUS EP1TAPHs.


soRE CURIOUS EPITAPHS.
ON A DRUMMER.
Tom Clark was drummer, who went to the war.
And was KILLED by bullet, and his soul sent for;
There were no friends to mourn him, for his vir-
He died Ike nan, like Christian bear.
ARNRE SPECIMEN.
My wifey has left me- she gone up on high,
She was thOHehtful while dying, and said " Tom
She was great beauty, SO every one knows
With Hebe-ilke features and nne Roman nose;
She played the piany, and was learning ballad,
RIGHTLY NASEED.
Down in this chasm lies poor sinful critter,
Her name was Poll Twist, and that name it just ft
her;
For in twisting her neck to swallow some toddy,
She twisted her breath right out of her body.
Her bloated remains We hid under the sod,
But her rum-sCtted soul none could hide from its
God.
AHARPrsr
Mary Soners was with US but twenty short years:
She departed this life mid a torrent Of tears;
She was fine musician, and played well on the
So thought the angels who aoated by in the dark ;
They wanted harpist to join their good band,
ONLY CHILD.
Our departed little Sally
Lost her strength and could not rally,
She pinned away, both night and day,
SENSITIVE TO THE LAST.
Aramarinta Taylor (how do we regret her?}
Departed this life for g state much better;
She was gentle and lovely and not over bold,
But her age is q thing that remains untold.
She grew younger and younger as years passed
Then a cypher became, when nought went to de-
the poor foolish creature hating to grow old.
Has gone now, praise God, where years are I'M
And there may she reval. enerable sage.
nEArH OF CHILD
1t was spotted measles that killed our Daisy;
When 1 think OF her death 1t makes me go crazy;
1 don't see why should have much trouble,
While others GO " scot free " and of money have
double
FRUITFUL SUBJECT.
AS death was ssuntering idly by,
He spied the apple of myeye;
With cruel aim and no delay,
In her hearts core he put decay.
And like the fruit upon the tree,
She dropped down dead in spite of me,
raise stone to Mary Grey.
A FATAL BLOW.
This is the place where rests Timothy Morse,
Who slid out OF life through kick from horse;
But o two-egged ouss kicked the life from his mas
ter.
USRULT ArENBER.
In the sacred spot my wife does lie,
Her tongue wagged fast for thirty long years,
That she died from exhaustion, while dropped a
tear.
on PATRIOT.
Here lies soldier, under this stone,
Stop, pass4r hg. and heave groan
Groan, did say No, hurrah, for he is happy, !
Singing Han Columbia, Yankee Doodle, and God
Save the Queen,
In this land OF glory where he has become by thii
time cheEubin. Amen.
ecuoov
In this grave nss Mary Edwards, pretty schoo
Who coa9ed and aatteeed all the bearx, but nevel
She was grsceFu. evanescent, but she faded like th
And her age (excuse me for telling it) was jus
fortv-tWo.
on A DRUSKARD.
John GRAY is dead, his corpse lies below,
But where his soul is of course we don't know.
There were two paths to take-which he chose
One led to glory, the other to Beelzebub.
His disease was strong drink; as this settled tn
It settled poor John, tOO-we guess with the latter
KILLkD RY A HORSE.
Absalom Charles Timothy Jones
Once was alive, but now here are his bones
He was thrown from bis horse against old post
And was 50 badly smashed that he gave up tn
Here lies old dame with q dangerous tongue,
She slandered all her neighbors and really though
She got SO angry one day when in a slanderous fit
That blood vessel burst and the bitter got bit.
This epitaph was written by her victims in th
town,
And this heavy granite stone was laid to keep he
body down.
WORMS.
And now, dear friends, you'll see him not,
For here he lies in this grave to rot.
PREcoCIoUs CHILD.
Alas why should cry to-day
For who could no longer stay?
My darling little Hannah
This child could read, and write and spell.
Could say her 81 tables" very well,
And play her mas pIana.
God bless my little Hannah!
Who plays now on Heavens piana.