New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1874-08-23

Smudpe had ransscked various books for
a name, and as. the sixth of the latest edi-
ton of Smudge was indicative OF toll IN
the ranks Of men, as the infant looked
strong-almost warlike-a great name was
the quest of its distracted parents. Mrs
Smudge wanted it named after some bi6le
character Smudge suggested Samson 60
liah, which would typify strength. Mrs.
Smudge leaned to Moses Samuel, emblem
atical of weakness.
Smudge had declared that he would ex-
pose the child to the measles before 1t
should be nicknamed Nose or Sam. Then
he limited at Jonah; but Mrs. Smndge would
listen to no such monogram. she 0lun
want her last child's name connected with
the fish story Already they had named a
child Haman, and she was sure that ne
would be hanged some day. Seeing that
no scriptural name could be agreed upon,
she suggested Omega, reminding Smudge
that they had named their first child Alpha:
lyon don't call this one Omega" said
Smudge. an put the name away, and
when we want it I'll let you know. How
would Martin Luther dos" :,
"Pm Baptist, am, Smudge! retGted
Mrs. s., coloring. II don't want any Luth-
eran names in this house. For your moth
er's sake allowed one of my children TO
be called Jonathan Wesley. She don't
poke any Methodist names on me again. Ii
Luther had been Baptist the name might
do. There's Roger Williams. Roger Viii
liams Smudge would sound WELL He could
| write it K. Williams Smudge, you see."
"But he never WILL" cried the parent
with determination. "Roger Williams was
| Baptist, and you know, Mrs. Smudge.
that don't lean that way. I'd sooner call
him Tom Paine"
"Call him Tom Paine, and I'll kill him
| before he's weaned."
"You like Puritans, Mrs. Smudge. Call
him Miles Standish."
"NO, sir! l don't want my child 70 grow
up with any Outlandish name. You called
| our second boy Plymouth Rock Smudge,
| and that name will kill him before lie votes.
| No more Puritan names"
you're the confoundest particular wo-
man | ever saw" reterted Smudge. III It
had been girl we would have called her
| Cleopatra Octavia."
mo, we wouldn't. Our fourth girl now
groans under the name of Olympia Tarpeia.
1t will make her an old maid. Let's com
promise, SmYdge. You like strong name
| Goliah, for instance-I, Baptist one. Lets
call the baby Roger w. Goliah Smudge."
"Put the Bible name first"
IL won't do it ~
.Then we'll call him something else"
"My fathers name was Joshua Gideon,
meekly suggested Mrs: s.
"What DO care II IL was! none OF IL
children shall be called after any Of your
relatives. That's settled Let's fall back
on late name-Garibaldi, tor instance"
"Or Bonaparte."
(Which one!'
"NapOleon the Third
"No; won't have him called Napoleon"
"Then you shan't call him Garibaldi," re-
torted Mrs. S., firmly. ''Smud &c, you re
the thickest individual l ever lived with.
You won't listen to anything propose
'.Then call the boy Daniel Wester. al
ways admired the old statesman"
"Our family shan't be disgraced by a
Wing name," said Mrs. Smudge. La
fayette is great, good name"
Smudge thought; he was OF the eve OF
suggesting the name OF the grea. French
man himself.
HE must have middle name
Lafayette Williams" says Mrs. Smudge.
"There's your old Baptist name again. l
tell you Roger Williams shan't in any
form hang to that boy s coat tail.
Then you shan't call him Lafayette
And thus the quarreling over the christ
ening continued for Elk mortal hours. FL
nahy the affair was settled. Smudge's
twelfth baby is to face the world with the
simple cognomen OF John Smudge.