davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20
POetrY.
THE BRICKLAYERS,

"Ho 10 the top OF the towering wallr'-
rTis the master -mason's rallying call -
"To the scAfOlding. boys now merrily climb
'Ts seven o'cOck by the town-bsls chime
Bring to your work good muscle and brawn;
And keen, quick eye where the line is drawn:
Out with your saw tempered blades of steel!
Smoother than glass from point to heel =
Now steady and clear, from turret and port,
Ring out your challenge; 'MoRT' o NoRr'r
"Clnk cltnk! trowel and brick
Music with labor and art combine -
Brck upon brick, lay them up quick;
But lay to the line, boys; lay to the line"
CheAry as crickets all the day long.
Tightening laber with laugh and song -
Busy as bees upon angle and pier
PiinE the red blocks tier upon tier;-
Climbing and climbing still nearer the sum-
Prsuder than kings OF the work they have doneI
Upward and upward the bricklayers 20,
Till men are but children and pigmies below;
While the masters order tails ringing and short,
To the staggering carrier, 'MORr' MORT"
"Clink cnk! trOwel and brick
Music with labor and art combine:-
Brick upon brick, Law them up quick;
But lay to the line. boys lay TO the line!
Who are the peers of the best IN the land
Worthy meath arches OF honor TO stand4
They of the brick redeemed. mor:ar stained palms
With shoulders of giants and sinewy arms,
Builders OF cities and builders OF homes
ProsDing the sky up with spires and domes;-
Writing thereon with their trowel aud lime
Legends Of toll tor the eyes of Time
So that the ages may read, as they run.
All that their magical might has done!
50 clink clink trowsl and brick!
Work by the masters word and sign
Brick upon brick, lay them up quick
But lay to the line, boys lay to the Incl"
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

BOUND TO lap OVER" Landlord said
a transient guest at railroad tavern, as he
drew near the end of his dinner, won't you
give me little more pork to eat with this
potato?' A little tater he said:
There was little more pork than |
wanted let me trouble you for little more
potato to eat with the pork. And shortly
afterward:
well, declare, I've got some more potato
left, and it seems pity to leave it-just a
small piece of pork, if you please, landlord. :"
1t ran on for some time. At length the
landlord stopped in front of the guest and re-
marked: Look here stranger, it amt no
use. I'm wiIlin' to do anything in reason to
make that pork and potato come out even, but
I've made up my mind the way you eat it
can be done. You're bound to lap over, on
one or the other every time. Now just make
up your mind which you would rather leave,
and quit. I've got enongh pork and potatoes
but il you keep on you Il burst.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

An editor in Illinois, having engage new
reporter, received the following as his first
effort: eve are informed that the gentleman
who stood on his head under pile driver for
the purpose of having tight pair of butes
druv on, shortly after found himself in China,
perfectly naked and without cent in his
nocket "
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Barber" said farmer to his tOusOr, nov
that corn is cheap, you ought to shave for half
price," Cant, Mr. Jones', said the man of
razors; 81 really ought to charge more, for
when corn's down farmers make such long faces
| have twice the ground to go over.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

We quote the following, remarks and all,
from the C0ngregationalist "'Come and enjoy
yourselves. Come and see the Witch OF End
her, the Ghost of the man who struck Billy
Patterson, Spirits from the vastly deep, the
Siamese twius--or any other man. The above
choice sentiment is from bill of masque'
rade sociable, given by ladies of church in
Illinois to raise money for religious purposes:
Who says we do not need home missionaries?
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Chubby, a three year old boy, was much
puzzled to know what made it rain, when his
Orthodox mother told him that God made it
rain. A few days after, Chubby was discover
ed amuseing himself by throwing water from
two story window on the heads Of the pass
ers.by, and, on being demonstrated with by his
mother, said: "Why, mamma, | am only
pl ,ying Cod" OF course, the mother was
horrified at the comparison.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Apropos of high prces-a luxury the news
papers never enjoy-there are signs that the
watering place hotels will come down them
selves this season, instead of forcing their
guests to do so. At Newport it is announced
that accommodations which last summer cost
thirty dollars a week, are to be had this
summer at fifteen dollars.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Lamartinc was asked by friend il he did
not spend too much in advertising.
mol" was the reply. Advertisements
are absolutely necessary. Even Divine wor-
ships need to be advertised. Else what is the
meaning of church bells2'
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Reuben Smith. of Northfeld, VT, wanted
to die because he thought his wife was unkind
to him. He took morphine. but the wife was
prompt enough with restoratives to keep him
alive. SO he watched for another chance, es-
caned TO the barn and there hung himself.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

She lives in Douglas county, Oregon has
been married eight times, has eight living
husbands, and resides with none of them.
Her daughter, aged twenty-three, with ener-
getc emulation, has disposed of three hush
ands.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

"a New Bedford wife, who has not yet
completed her fourteenth year, became a
mother on Sunday" Either that couple ought
to be presented with one OF the new territories
as homestead, or that editor lied.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

A hard-money Congressman condensed his
speech by holding ten-dollar greenback IN
one hand and a ten-dollar gold piece in tho
other, and asking, (Which will you have!
This summer ladies are going to dress their
hair as they did three hundred years ago.
says an exchange. This makes some OF the
ladies pretty old.
The Cincinnati elephant that wallowed two
gallons of whisky at one gulp says that he took
It for "a cold
Why should magistrate be very cold BE
cause he represents Justice.
When is match frivOlousP When it makes
light of things
Epitaph for cannibal-"One who loved his
fellow-msn."
II your brain is on FIRE blow it out.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

"Have you Blasted Hopes2'' asked young
lady of n librarian with his hankerchiei tied
over his jaw. mo, ma 'an," said he, ut S
only blasted toothache."
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

A Brooklyn young man, who sat down to
mediate in his sweetheart's lap, had occasion
to caution her against looping up her skirts
had tendency to disturb his mental poise.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

emotion at ALL Grant that | am no critic,
admit that L have very bad taste. What thenH
Am to yield the taste | have and content my
self with protesting one which | have not,
except as L borrow it from some eXpertH
Shall L sacrifice what is natural in me that
may be artistic? | believe | will not. And |
though all the SnoOkses in the world laugh at me |
Tor tancylnga little gTOupe or landscape which |
their subllmated taste designates 'bOtch, l
Will sit down before it, and study 1t, and be
pleased with it until the lights go out, if |
choose. Their taste is doubtless good | am
quite willing to allow them to hold their view
of the subject, and will not for moment in
tertere with their criticisms, but why should
they wish to spoil all my enjoyment by foisting
their authoritative opinion upon me, and max
ing me believe what | don't believe, and feel
what | don't feel? About fashion, too.
Tailors are usually excellent men, although
they seem always to be measuring you with
their eye, and saying, in an undertOne, "a, IA,
! l54, II, eager rather to get snip at you, and
yet, as | say, excellent men; but then how can
they tell what like. They are not Oracles.
never heard of the Pythoness sitting cross
legged on a counter. And their taste in
costumes is only their taste after all. Why, in
this world OF cOmmon-sense, should L not be
able TO make selection for myself? Some
how | always lose my selt-respect after an in
tCINlOh Will my uO lHOuRnI vi HIS
informing me what | ought to wear belittles
me.
Thus far nothing has been said concerning
music, but here there are many who can tell us
10 order what should please us and what should
not. Who has not enjoyed to the full some Ot
the grand performances of Thomas orchestra
or the PhilhormoEic, only to find out the mex
day that their pleasure was all false since the
music was ln the Judgment of some connoisseu
"execrable And the ridiculous part of it i
e that hundreds Of people who can not catch th
: hrst glimpse OF the conceptions of Beethoven
;, or wagner move around talking as glibly o
5 movements and sympathy" and 'tone'
Il as though they were born with a full orchestr
}. In the next room.
l. No! friends all, if we have bad taste let u
:, keep 1t, rather than parrot others whose tast
n we can not understand. And as for these cor
n nolsseurs whose self-imposed duty it is to regr
late the world on all questions of art, insanit!
y bivalves and the like, let us just let them ruI
u hut by no means force ourselves to follow then
at They are perfectly harml less until they wal
vs. us to pay for the work which thev gratuitous
t, perform. In that case we will just dishont
of the draft.
he recollect an old horse quack. He was SUI
IN posed to be a connoiSseur in all equine derang
ut ments. HisOpiniOn was once asked in mere
II, casual way, concerning a dropping horse. +
IS. reserved his decision. making no answer at n
'ly Some months after there came to the owner
Ill that horse a bill on this wise:
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

Taking care of baby and sewing buttons on
a wife's shoes were adduced, in trial the
other day, as evidence tending to show
husbands affection for wife whom he sub
senuentlY shot.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20

SLIMMER'S PERDICAMENT.-Slimm really
deserves pity, for it certainl y was uncommony
rough on him. He was going up to Reading
the other day, and when he reached the depot
he happened to look into the ladies' room. \
woman sat there with a lot of baggage and
three children, and when she saw Simmer she
rushed at him. and before he could defend
himself she flung her arms about his neck,
nestled her head upon his breast, and burst
into tears. Simmer was AMAZED, indignant,
confounded; and ere he could find utterance
for his feelings she exclaimed "Oh, Henry !!
dear Henry We are united at last Are you
we'll? Is aunt Martha still alive? Havnt you
longed to see your Louisa p And she looked
into SINNERS face, and chung to him, and
smiled through her tears. " Madame, said
he solemnly, "if am the person alluded to
as Henry, permit me to say that you have
made a mistake. My name is Lemuel;
have no Aunt Martha, and don't own a soli-
tary Louisa. Obige me by letting 60 my
coat 1t excitos remark. Then she buried
her bonnet deeper into his waistcoat, and be-
gan to cry harder than ever, and said oh
| Henry, hOw-how can you treat me so ?-HoW
can you pretend that you are not my hush
and?" " Madam, screamed Simmer, ii
you do not cease sopping my shirt bosom anC
remove your umbrella from my corn, shall b(
obliged to call the police. Let me go, | say.
1.-The children are here, she persisted "they
recognize their dear father. Doyou not child
rem p Yes" they exclaimed. 1t is pa
it is our dear pa" And they grappled Slim
mer by the trowsers leg and hung to his Goa
tail "Woman," he shrieked, =" this is get
ting serious, Unhand me say, and he tre'
to disengage himself from her embrace, Will
all the brakemen, and the baggage master, AM
the newsboys stood around and said his con
duct was infamous. In the midst of his strug
gle stranger entered with a carpet-bag. ii
looked exactly like Simmer and when he say
his wife in Slimmer's arms he became excited
, and he foored Simmer with that carpet ba
) and set on him, and smote his nose, and caro-
med on his head, and asked him what b
} meant. Simmer was removed on a stretche
r and the enemy went off in a cab. He calle
next day to apologize. His wife made mi
take because of Simmer likeness to hin
, And now Simmer wishes he may soon b
D kicked in the face by mule, so that he wi
resemble no other human being on earth.
Smyrna times., 1874-05-20
Hnrsa Doctor.

In my opinion the horse is sick. 20 shillings
Now that opinion was doubtless correct. The
man was a connoisseur, but he asked too much
for it.
Most connoisseurs are good deal like the
old quack. They ask too much for their
opinions. For one | refuse payment.
, 1874-04-10
NOTES AND NEW
Spfciat Di&patcA to 1'he Ch1cago 1't,ibttne.

THE AnTFuL DoDGEn.
WASHINGTON, D. G., April 9.-don. q. n.
Dodge, Of Iowa, formerly u n,ember Of Congress,
and now d contractor to furnish supplies to Ill
dians, ID wanted by tho House Il0ian Committee.
whoaro investigating alleged frauds in tho letting
OF Indian contracts, but lo cauuot be unearthod.
Con. Dodge, it will be remembered. lodged tho
Credit Alobilier contest lust winter. lie Was
hero but few days ago. but al soon as he aH-
cortained that Ao WIS likely to be summoned aB
u witness before the Committee, ho loft town
With celebrity, aud ih not to DO found
TO the Assoetatta I'ress.l
NOMINATIONS.
WASHINGTON, D. e., April 0.-Tho President
has sent tho following nominations to the Sen
ate: Benjamin 2. Avery, California, Envoy
Extraordinary and Minister plenipotcntlary to
China, vice +. T. Lowo, rcsignod. L. Z. naSiH,
Rooeivor Of Public Moneys, at lronton, Alo.
THE UNION PACIFIC BRIDGE At OMAHA.
REPRESENTATIVE Houghton Inns boen authorized
by tho House Committee Oh Pacific 1lailr oldH to
roport a bill requiring tho Union Pacific Rnil-
road Company to operate tho bridge acroah tho
Missouri River at Omaha, aa A. part Of
its continuous llno Of road. TlliH bill
is tcBjgucd to pitt stop to the present. extra
charges for freight a,,d passengers, oxactod for
transferring them acrosa tho rsyor w al!is BRIDGE
MucL incuuyon iopco IL now occasionod to paa-
songoys by compelling thom, to change cars.
g'I,a bill In order to protect holders Of
bridge bonds, provides that the Union Pacific
i}aI1road Company shall lAy interest OIL thon,
.aui ahal also sot nlart annually III amount
ouual to por cent or the amount Of tho bridge
f1nn rrift1, To.at
, 1874-04-10
COMMITTEE WORK,

ANTE.HEnELL1oN POSTAL OLA
WASHINGTON, D. G., Aprl9.-Tho House Com
mittee on Appropriations to-day hoard the Post
Mastor- Geueral, his First Assistant, and Sixth
Audi tor OF tho Treasury, III regard to the future
and present condition Of large maHs Of claims
for carrying the mails in tho Southern States be-
foro tho late war. After considerable discussion,
1t WIS rerorred to AlessrH. Tynor, Loughridge,
and Hancock as subcommittee.
APPROPRIATIONS WANTED.
The District Of Columbia Board Of Health
were hoard in advocacy Of an appropriation Of
S31, 900 to mako good tho deficiency caused by
tho extraordinary expenditures rendered necos-
snry by tho prevalence OF smallpox last year.
The Committee took tho Bubjeo undor consia-
Grafton.
INDIAN CLAIM DENIED.
It Was decided to rofuHo the request for tho
deficiency appropriation Of $4,000 for subsist-
ence for the Kaw Indiana.
MAII. ROnBEnIEB. :
Tho Postmaster Goneral today informed tho
Committee that it would be advisable to mako
provision in tho Deficiency bill for furnishing
hia Department $1,000 to onable him to offer ro-
wards for tho apprehension Of Bundry mail-rob-
borB in Texas and elsewhere.
, 1874-04-10

ting Committee that tho firm OF Do dolyer H.
nc0lolland paid George Ohtttondon $97, ,000. to bo
you toll mo how tho money oame to bo paid, and
for what arect1o purpose It was to DO usol?
1fr. Do do1yor {who Ind obviously NOT .seon
tl1o evening rnpSre containing h1r: Mcolclen's
nlrr.. Mc0lelland could not havo roaehod Wash
!ngton before this morning. I hayo heard moth
ing about this
Rorortor-1ly information is upon qxcollont
authority; and, now TINT tho thing las boen
you know nbout ChiEtenlon and tie so7,0oo9
Mr. Do dolyer-1 roally know nothing about
It. had quit tho firm before this took plnco.
WAS not aware TINT thia, or any, AMOUNT Of
money WIS ovor paid LII. ohittondenl to aoouro
Hoportor-Do you know how. Or by what
moans. Do dolyor & Northumberland tho con-
tract?
~, Dir: Doao'yor- don't know tho exact moans.
peculiar Say of lotttng contracts. They 1rat
adyortised for proposals, mud then, aftor tho
bids woro oil in, they determined to pay $500
por square yard for tho pavement. 1t WAS q
thing which wont wholly by favor, aud, Of
order to aecure tho contract.
HopOrtor-It whH a fat Job, was 1t not
Mr.. De aolyor--lt was Thought to be when tho
contract WAS obtained, but It resulted in eerlonH
loss
Reporter 0ncrodulous1y)- of what
Mr.. Do Golyer-That Washington contract
ruined tho firm Of Do doIyor Il McOlolland. My
fathor wan worth at least $4,000 before thoy
to took this contract, but he dlod not worth q.
mortgages. hlr. McClolland lost much more
tract was fulfilled.
noportcr-How did tho firm lose 90 hoavily in
acontraot which seemed to leave wido margin
for proflt2
Mr.. De Golyer-Thero was margin OF Is
cents per yard, and, as there wore 200, 900 yards
Of pavement to bo laid, tho firm expected to re-
alizo profit Of between $75, 600 and S100, ,000.
They lad made as much % this out OF Chicago
contracts. They agreed to take their pay in
Washington scrip, then worth a llttlo over 90
conts on tho dollar but tho scrip depreciatod to
30 contB. This was whero tho heavy loss camo in.
Rcporter-put as tho price per yard was moro
than double what Do Golyor bud received for the
eamo pavement in Chicago, there should still
hngo boon some profit loft.
Mr. Dc Golvor-You must bear in mind that
lumber in Washington was worth 922 per thott-
sand foet, against 310 or S12 in Chicago. This
aldB at loast 10 con.a por yard to tho cost. Then
tue cost Of laying tho pavement in Washington
Was much creator than in Chicago.
Roporter-1s it now conceded that tho ironfzod
pavement is a failure7
Mr: DoGo!yor-Yes; thore is no doubt Of that
portant particulars. Al tho timo l,o mentions, il
was not demonstrated, not known or suspected
TINT tho ironized pavement waB failure. 1t wat
not known in Chicago until tho following spring
when the pavomont on prairio and South Parl
avenues began to giyo out. IInke street was 70
paired with the eame material, and it has no
given out yot. -Quimby waa once CONNECTED
with the firm, md sworo that ho would do i
Bomo injury.
Reporter much has tho "ironized fail
ure cost tue firm?
blr. Do Golyor-Thoy laid out over $50, 900 il
thor works and experiments. All that mono,
| WAS sunk.
, 1874-04-10

Waterfalls, dnes County, States that intense OK,
citemont waB produced there last week by the
discovery tint the wife OF s. ". Burnham wna
dead, aud had been buried in his garden without
1ho knowledge Of any human being save Mr..
Durham and bis son. Tho Sheriff and Coroner
woro called to investigate the matter, found tho
corpse IN a hollow, about feet deep, where the
body Lad been tumb1ed in semi-nude con~
dition, with ono foot reaching nearly to tho sur
face. Mr. Durnham and his son havo been ar-
the Grand Jury. Tho deceased was his third
wife. A poBt-mortem examination Was made in
an unsatisfactory manner and efforts are now
being mado to have tho County Court order
nuothcr. j..
, 1874-04-10

GALVESTON, Tex, April 9.--Turner Ardazal.
All 1talinn, Captain Of the sloop Now Louisiana,
entored tho residence Of Mr.. Jott, miles from
Orange. Tex, during, Jotts absence, and muir
derod Mrs. Jott and two children, daughters
nearly grown. Whom Mr.. Lyons and other citi.
zens arrived they found Ardazal endeayoring to
burn the bodies. 1Ie was immediately arrested:
LArEn.-Last night, soon after tho sI1erif
entered tho Jail to give tue prisoners supper a
ed tho officer, and took tho murderer of tho
Jott family outside tho prison aud literally
rid1lcl him with pullots.
, 1874-04-10

amonnt COLLECTED from August, 1872, to tho Sd
Of February, 1874, 4427, ,090. Government share,
s., s2lsGls; pail for rent Of onloos from Kueuat,
Secretary from hug'at, ,ls72, kpF 1s74, It s2oo
~ 600; pa1d o1penacs Of Heorotaly for anmo
raid ": q. Morrison md Est''a two assistants in
LONDON, Paris, Berlin, frankfort, Lyons, etc.,
$43,875. raid United states Attorney, Bliss
about 90, ,22o; ratd J. 2. ooughln and assietauts
others, 81, 300. Paid T. Prescott, loyal sorvlcos
expenses ind dispuraomonts, s28,O06, Paid per-
aonal expenses, about $4,000. Paid presbery
and dreon, 923,780. Paid q. 3. Underwood at
1874, for counsel foee, eSponaes and disburso.-
monts on account OF information regarding cor
tain railroad companies and income and legacy
mud succession tnxes In full, $685.. Amounts
due {1. s, IN nannPsSid about s75oo. To'a s15o4a8'
Me'n.-Tlo largo expenses attondan npon my
Into trial In Brooklyn aud In coming to Wishing
ton arc not included In any Of the foregoing
amounts.
JAYNE's rEsranAr1oN.
Tho announcement is mnde Of tho acceptance
OF tho resignation Of Hpocfel Treasury Agent B.
g. Jayne, dating March 8. Tho lettor of accupt-
anco, 1t is said, compliments Jayne for Lis zeal
III tho aorvoo Of tho qovernment.
FINANCIAL LEGI5LATIoN.
Special D1patch to Tbs Chicago 1rsoune.
IN THE HOUSE.
WASHINGTON, D. g., April 0.-A nervous rost-
leasncss characterized tho proceedings Of tho
House to-day. Tho speeches on tho finances
were Short sharp, aud delivered with great onr
ncBtness. Z. lockwood 1Ioar and Con. Garfield
woro particularly eloquent and earnest In show
ing up tho evils that would result from tho
adoption Of inflation measures, and tho dishon-
esty of such action In the face OF tho
PLEDGES GIVEN TO TIE COUNTRY
by Congress aud by both nprtios, III their plat
forms, to roturn to spocio payments as soon as
practicable. They both mado some impression,
but tho iu1atlonis, drawing frequent luspiution'
from Sonators Morton and LOCAL. who, ns yos-
terday, were on tho floor OF tho House during
nearly all Of the discussion, were determined,
buoyant, and defiant.
In tho middle Of q speech by John Q. Smith,
Of 0hio tho Speaker announced TINT tho hour
had arrived at which tho previous question was
to DO demanded. After aomo submitting OF
amendments and
QuIDnL1NG DELAYS,
tho yoto on eeconding the don1and was taken by
lottors, and resulted In n rofuBal to second.
| benjamin Dutter then moved a postponoment OF
tho whole question, till Tneaday no1t. at 1890,
| up md pass the Souato bill. This was tcst
! vote, aB those who voted aye may be pretty
safely relied on to vote for the Senate measure.
| The various
! WESTERN MEs1nEns VOTED As FOLLOWS:
Ohio: Ayo-Dann!ng, Berry, Dunby, Danford, Lam.
Ss4Fs;stsf ssras, auneEis,S Monroe, Neal
orosslani, a Durhanl, I'm stantsford, md Yo.ing
M Farne seiI Tor III msfl6St, s; Risa, Wsr;d
1159o Con-
, 1874-04-10

TOLEDO, O., april 9.-A special from OTTAWA,
Putnam County, O., says horrible double mur-
der was committed In tho west part Of THAT coun-
ty last night. a nan namod John ". Goodwin
murtlered an aged naan and his wfo uamod l1ay-.
wood. This murdorcr obtained about $500 III
money, Thoro ia great excitement, aud 1t was
with difficulty tllat tho murderer was prevented
from bolng lynohod.
, 1874-04-10

SALT LAKE, April o.-An old man, supposed to
bo Den1er, Of KanBas, was nrrosted in the Boutll-
ern portion Of this Territory so.ne weeks ago,
and arrived hero Inst night, aud il now in JUL ut
this place. Some partioA horG who claim to l.ayo
hnown him. identify him as Denlor, OF KANSAS.
young man, supposed to bo his son, ie also in
custody ut Salt Creek, mud will also DO brought
hero
, 1874-04-10

., .ARn1sBunoi pa., April 0.-Tho Senate bill
'aPpropriating 41 ,060,000 to oroct tho Centennial
building IN Thladelphia, passed tue House to-
day by YQto OF 90 to 04.