Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1874-05-13
Humorous.


but she had it wrapped up in three
shawls and bed quilt. and was in
agony every moment for fear it would
sneeze.
s.Do see his darling, darling little
face I" she said to me Is she unwound
him about forty times and looked to
see which end its feet were on.
looked. 1 have been the father of
eleven Just such bowling little wopsies,
and I don't see anything remarkable
about Bascomb's baby.
''See those eyes; that frmness OF
mouth that temper in his look i she
went on.
1 saw them.
The little son of gun began to get
red in the face and to beat the air, and
his mother shouted:
"He's being murdered by pin =
She turned him wrong end up, laid
him on his face, then on his back,
loosened his bands, rubbed the soles of
his feet, and the tears stood in her eyes
as she remarked:
81 know he won't ive-he's too
smartw
The child recovered; and, as he lay
on his back across her knees and sur
veyed the ceiling, she went on:
''Such q head Why, every one who
sees him says that he is going to be q
Beecher. Do you notice that high fore
head ?"
did. I Thought he was all forehead,
as his hair didn't commence to grow
until the back of his neck was reached ;
but she assured me that 1 WAS mis-
taken.
"Wouldn't I Just heft him once?"
81 hefted him.
/ told her that never saw q child of
his weight weigh 80 much, and she
smiled like an angel. She said that she
was afraid didn't appreciate children,
but now she knew l did.
"Wouldn't 1 just look at his darling
little feet-his little red feet and cum
ming toes?"
Yes, would.
She rolled him over on his face and
unwound his feet and triumphsntly
held them up to my gaze. contem-
plated the hundreds of little wrinkles
running lengthwise and crosswise-the
big toes and the little toes, and agreed
with her that, SO far as I could judge
from the feet and the toes and the
wrinkles. future of unexampled bril-
liancy lay before that pug-nosed imp.
He began to kick and howl, and she
stood him on end, set him up. laid him
down and trotted him until she bounced
his wind-colic into the middle of Sep
tember.
"Whom did he look like?"
bent over the scarlet faced rascal,
pushed his nose one side, chucked him
under the chin, and didn't answer with
out due deliberation. I told her that
there was faint resemblance to George
Washington around the mouth, but the
eyes reminded me of Daniel Webster,
while the general feature had made me
think of the poet Milton ever since she
entered the house.
That was just her view exactly, only
she hadn't said anything about it be-
fore.
"Did I think he was too smart too
live?"
Ifelt of his ears, rubbed his head, put
my finger down the back of his neck,
and told her that, in my humble
opinion, he wasn't, though he had q
narrow escape. If his nose had been
set little more to one side, or his ears
had appeared in the place of his eyes,
Bascomb could have purchased a weed
for his hat without delay. No; the
child would live. There wasn't the
least doubt about it and any man or
woman who said he wouldn't grow up
to make the world thunder with his
fame would steal the wool off q lost
lamb in January.
She felt 80 happy that she rolled the
imp up in his forty-nine bandages,
shook him to straighten his legs and
take the kinks out of his neck, and then
carried him home under her arm, while
my wife made me go along with an
umbrella, for fear the sun would peel
his little nose.-Our Fireside Friend.
AT Bologne, during the reception of
Queen Victoria, some years ago, a
number of English ladies, in their
anxiety to see everything, pressed with
such force against the soldiers Who
were keeping the line, that the latter
were forced to give way, and generally
were-to use the expression of police
men-"hindered in the execution of
their duty" The officer in command,
observing the state of affairs, called
out, Zone roll of the drum-if they
don't keep back, kiss them ALL" After
the first sound of the drum the ladies
took to flight. ''f they had been
French" said Partisan journal, "they
would have remained to q woman"
The latest dodge was played by the
girls in California Seminary. Instead
Of using the three-cent stamps on their
letters, they adopted the plan of using
three one-cent stamps. The letters
we're SO very plain and matter -of-fact,
md the attempts at evading surveillance
10 the old-fashioned way grew so scarce,
that one inspecting teacher investigated
this whim. And 10 the cunning crea-
lures had taken to writing tender, emo
-iOnal little epistles to their lovers uuder
the stamps.
AcoLoREp Mississippi legislator lately
proposed bill to make each member
Of the legislature, present and future,
bona fide attorney and counsellor-at
law. His reasoning was direct: "FOr,
said he, '.if We know enough to make
d, laws. why don't We practice um?"
Sure enough, why not?
WHEN q western member of congress
recently alluded so feelingly to the ebay
seed in his hair" and the "oats in his
throat" why didn't he complete the
diagnosis by speaking of the rye in his
stomach?
If the cremationists have their way
the number of ash-carts will need to be
increased. And how will it sound to
hear the ssh-men ring their bells and
bawl: Bring out your mother in-law's
ashes !"
A HORSE CAR driver in Chicago gave a
penny over to twenty different passen-
gers, to try their honesty, and nineteen
of them kept the money, while the one
swore that four cents more were due
him.