The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-02-20

of the more important ones will suffice
for the present. No one, We presume,
will candidly say that grave differences
are not frequently arising between Pig
foot and Turkey foot = great nations
which resemble the vast deep III that
they are
"Distinct Is the biIows vet one a. the sea-
linked together, so to speak, like the
Siamese Twins, and upon times not more
amiably disposed toward each other than
the defunct prodigies which, in a meas
ure, they resemble. We don't see how
any one can be blind to the fact that
such differences are painfully frequent.
Disguise it and smooth it over as we will,
and brood over it and deplore it as We
do, the inexorable fact stares u in the
face still-there is a deep-rooted, unmis-
taxable "onpleasantness" existing be-
tween Pigfoot and Turkeyfoot. 'Tis
true this "onpleasantness" has been at
times rendered comparatively Inconspic-
uous by compromises, etc. But at best,
compromises are of no account. They
settle nothing, and consequently can't
be relied upon. And in the case of Pig
foot and Turkey foot, they never answer
ed the requirements of the situation.
Any one can see how easy it would be
to stir up serious trouble between Tur-
keyfoot and Pigfoot by some intriguing
adventurer arousing one side or the other
on this very question of boundary which,
as before intimated, has never been salts
factorily disposed Of When the general
election comes along with each recurring
| Spring, the sovereigns of these different
sections Of our village, emerge from their
winter quarters and distrustfully ap-
proach the polls, lest during their tenn
| porary seclusion, some question has been
clandestinely sprung which might detri-
mentally affect one side or the other, and
there is never any trouble to raise pam
| ic by the mere mentIon-"That's a Pig
foot dodge" or "That's piece of Tur-
keyfoot sneakery.". Hence, the more
considerate of our citizens have been
necessitated to exert unusual vigilance
on such occasions in order to keep in
subsection the latent fury in either side.
Now suppose that the question of bound
airy had been coupled with the school
house question when that was frequently
| before our people during the last year.
| Te.,It E1o hor LOTT Of ct1ah n
thing enough to make the cold chills
course up and down a fellows back
bone? We should say so! And it is not
at all unlikely that this grave matter
may, in some way, be complicated with
some other question in the future, OF
worse still, present itself in its naked
simplicity, compelling lis to grapple
with it, thus rendering certain condi-
ton of affairs which we must beg to be
excused from portraying at this time.
As long ago as 1913, this boundary
line between Pigfoot and Turkeyfoot was
a source Of neutrality-suspicious. did il
trouble the "big boys"-for it was in
that eventful year, after long and repeat
ed futile efforts to establish its location
to the satisfaction Of both sides, that il
was mutually agreed that solution Of
the perplexing problem could be reached
open hostilities, and thereupon botl
sides began stupendous preparations fol
the fray. We may state that the imme
diate cause which led to that war wa:
the defiant attitude of Pigfoot, which
claimed that the line was, and of righ
should be, directly in the centre of Co
lumbus street, and that if Turkeyfoo
would not cheerfully concede the just
ness of Pigfoot's claim, she must be com
PEELED to do so. Turkeyfoot, upon th'
other hand, resolutely maintained tina
Brechbill's alley had always been re
garded as the dividing line, and tina
both sides had been satisfied and pros
porous in that understanding, until SOM
, ambitious demagogue, crazed with TIL
utopian idea of conquest, had succeeded
in imbuing'the Pigfooters with the no
, tion that Turkeyfoot would make but
feeble resistance to an attempt TO take
f slice of her territory. But Turkeyfoo
could not think of surrendering any ter
ritory, and such demand was sufficien
cause for war, etc.
I Well, the clash of arms came, and W
D remember good deal about it, becaus
! we "went," as clerk to a sutler, on tn
Turkeyfoot side, who carried to tn
: front a marvellous stock of ''liquorice
! drops" "vinegar punch, artichokes, an
S the like, for the delectation of the "sC
jers" The Turkeyfooters had then
selves resolved upon a war of invasion
= and, under command of one Nuzen
who possessed dash and executive abil
ty in an eminent degree, after all thing
4 were in readiness, they set out for tn
= enemy's stronghold. They marche
westward on North street to Mark,
street, thence up Market street to Mark
n Square, into which they debouched, an
h where they were confronted by the Pis
/ foot army, under command of Gener;
r, Musselman. 1t was in the dusk of IL
l. evening when the invaders took up pos
ton, and only few moments were spel
N in typographical observations ere IL
=. fray began. 1t didn't last long. Tu
ell keyfoot was victorious, and Pigfo
1t trailed her banners. Nuzem mounted
i store box, and briefly recapitulated Il
lie causes which led to the invasion and di
comfture of Pigfoot, and wound up
saying that he hoped, after the events
=, the day, there was no one within ran
~ of his voice who entertained any dou
about the locality of the boundary lir
w Brechbill's alley must thereafter be l
Y. cognized as the dividing line. And Pi
foot, hors de combat for the time beir
was necessitated to take what the eo
ne queror chose to give. From that til
m forward for number of years Brec
IL bills alley was admitted by Pigfoot
m be the line-at least she tacitly admit