Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-03-05

W nave VliShi Wv w yo"' "" "''
now be conducted to the most cminen,
squash-producer, who will teach you
the grand hailing sign of distress
The sign, my worthy brother, will
insure you against many of the ills Of
the agriculturist-amongst, others,
against droughts and being bit by the
terocious grasshopper.
The candidate is now conducted tC
to the most eminent squash producer
who thus says: My worthy brother,
will now invest you with the order of
the festive ploughboy, which you have
we'll won by your heroic achievement
while harnessed-may you ever veal
it with pleasure to youself and may it
be means Of terror to your enemies
Crhe NJ. E. S. p. then proceeds tC
invest the candidate with the regalia
of the festive ploughboy, which con-
sists of a long tomato necklace.) "The
grand hailing sign of distress is made
by gently closing the left eye, laying
the right fore-fngef along side the
nose, and violently wagging the ears
1t requires practice, but the advan
tages are intense. 1t also has an i'm.
portant signiiication, which you vii
do well to heed. The closiug Of the
eye signifies that in all your dealings
with mankind you are bound to have
an eye to business Laying the finger
alongside the nose is emblcmatlcal OF
wisdom, and places you at orce among
the knowing ones This is extreme
]y handy in prognosticating new
weather, and saves the wear and teal
of almanacs. Wagging the ear:
signifies sublimity Of purpose, and is
thought to be emblematical Of child
hoods happy hours 1t is also sup
posed by some profound scholars to
have distinct reference to apple
dumplings, but this fact is somewhat
obscure by the dust ofages In toker
that you are one Of lis, you will now
be branded. This ceremony is very
impressive and consists of two brands
They are both applied while the iron
is hot and consist of one letter of the
alphabet each. The first is 4 large
letter S on which you will please sit
while the other letter is applied to the
stomach. The letters, my worthy
chicken, signifies scooped, and refers
to railroad monopolies. 1t is also sup.
posed to indicate the seat of learning 9
the spot where the old-time teacher
hunted for brains with the ferule. The
second letter is c, and is applied, as
said before, to the stomach. 1t has 4
double meaning. First, the applica.
ton is an agricultural one, "corn
crib and has reference to the stom.
ach as being the great receptacle fol
Bourbon whisky. But, brother, dc
not be dilligent in finding a home
market for your corn. The second
application of the letter c, my dis
tracted infant, is got hold Of as fol
lows: When one granger desires to
ascertain ''for sure if thele is another
of the order in the room, he raises
himself gently by the slack Of his
of his unmentionables- scratches his
off thigh with his near hool, and re-
marks in voice of thunder: care
there any grangers about?" The
answer is ",jeese wax" The enquirer
then SAYS, "let us see," Qetter C) and
the other party must Immediately pull
out his stomach and disclose the
brand.
The brands are applied in such a
manner that | am enabled to assure
you that they will wash.
/ was here interrupted, Mr.. Editor,
by volley fred into the open win
dow, evidently intended tor me. For
tunatcly | escaped without scratch,
and which is of more consequence,
succeeded in fetching off my precious
manuscript. That is about all there
is in the ceremony of any importance
i must leave the country at once
armed men are at my heels-they
know | am writing to expose them.
You may hear from me agaid by mail,
if should deem it best to expose the
other degrees-until then-adieu.
From you sacred friend,
B. Pole.
NoTIcE.-This ceremony of initia-
ton is used during the absence of the
lady members. Their initiatory
ceremonies are entirely different, be-
ing much sumpllfied, as they should
be.
Tho story of that Louisiana bride