Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-01-01
RREVTTIES.

-
New York.
ALWAYS running around after kisses
billiard balls
ZOOtic are felt.
MoTTo for the winter of 1873-4-"I
can't afford it"
TURKEYS" says hungry Boston edi-
Cor, "are quoted fat"
THE song Of the brewer give seen my
fOndest hops decay"
IF you want nice shade trees around
your house, set them out.
Brown corduroy walking sacuues are
worn by the young ladies.
MINNEAPOLIS has a street vender of pan
cakes. So has ST. Louis.
THE words Credit Mobilier' are pro
nounced "Credee Mobeelya."
POTATOES in Minnesota are quoted
higher per bushel than wheat
VERY good kid gloves can be bought in
New York for so cents a pair.
THoUGH an honest merchant is plain
dealer, a carpenter is deal planer
PETERsBURG, Ind, has woman six
feet high, with an upward tendency.
II Uh W III jC ths BGllCldlly anu EJlOIUSCly
used for trimming this winter as last.
There is 40 opening for measles in
Dyersburg, Tenn. They've all had it.
LOOK out Tor the best aspects Of man
as you DO for fine views in the country.
WE hear the rain fall, but not the snow.
Bitter grief is loud, calm grief is silent.
RozENzWIG wept upon his being re-
leased So did good many other folks.
A New York establishment advertises
'Perfumed milk baths for the complex
ion"
In peace prepare for war. Now is a
good time to hoist in a supply Of Ha-
Vanas.
WHICH travels quickest heat or colds?
Heat, of course, because you can catch
cold.
AT East St. Louis, the last pile of the
Mississippi bridge approach has been
driven
BROOKLYN is said to have more breach
Ofpromise suits than all other cities put
together
SHREVEPORT is rapidly recovering from
the depression consequent upon its recent
calamity.
THE burglars jimmy is curious boy;
he is always prying into other peoples
business
CoLoRADo will be knocking at the
doors of the Union" again, for admission,
this winter
MANY have withstoOd the frowns of the
world, but its smiles and caresseS Rugged
them to death.
THE building of the New York State
Capitol at Albany has been suspended for
want Of funds.
THE Boston Chief of Police exhibits
The likeness Of q man who paid bill on
presentation.
IT is remarkable that men with hardly
any head st all, often have an immense
amount Of face
IT has cost $fO,000,OO0 in cash and one
hundred and thirty-six lives to bore the
Hoosac Tunnel
Four HUNDRED birds sing over the
tables Of dining saloon in Charleston,
South Carolina.
AT the Mississippi State Fair drawing
the Vicksburg HorGJd drew the first prize
$500 in gold.
A CHINARAN took the first premium on
butter at the recent fair at Seattle, Wash.
ington Territory.
A FARMER at Augusta, Georgia, lately
discovered that his dog was in the habit
OF milking fine cow.
CoMMERCTAL drummers are as bad of
as mechanics. New York alone has dis
charged 5000 Of them
n is astonishing how the weed flourish
es since the root Of all evil has been put
into chewing tobacco.
THE English market is now supplied
with pins made in Connecticut, and Anne
RIGA makes the needles.
IN New England premature skating has
already led to the QuenChing of several
vital sparks in ice-water
THE man that bit another mans nose
oft in an affray is said to have taken a
prominent part in the fight.
A KENTUCKY cow was cured of snake
bite by whisky. She spends most Of her
time looking fer snakes now.
A NEVADA Postmaster has written to
Washington TO know if he can rent part
of the Office for faro bank.
Ii we waited until it was perfectly con
venient, half OF the good actions of life
would never be accomplished.
STUFFING his dressed turkeys with corn
is the way a Muscatine Uowa) farmer is
disposing of his surplus grain.
PEOPLE in Massachusetts who read the
newspapers are beginning to regard the
Hoosac tunnel as blasted bore
CONNECTICUT threatens war unless Mas
sachusetts stops shipping her paupers into
the land of the wooden nutmeg.
MTCuIG AN man nrOnnSpc o hon GEM
plan to prevent dogs from killing sheep
1t is BY extracting their front teeth.
A CYNICAL lady, rather inclined to f1irt
says most men are like a cold, very easily
caught, but very hard to get rid of.
THE handkerchief scarfs worn by the
ladies, and so popular last season, have
been revived again with great success.
THE Supreme Court of Massachusetts
has decided that election bets are invalid
and that man is fool who pays one.
APEACH TREE in Missouri on beng
transplanted to new soil, is reported to
have taken to producing white plums
AN Albany lady swallowed mouse
recently, and dismissed the family doctor
for recommending a cat as an antidote
A GENTLEMAN lately refused to cele
brate his silver wedding on the ground
that he was mot yet reduced to beggary.'
SMOKING on an empty stomach was
what killed Robert Wright, in London
recently. Never carry an empty stomach
Nor less than twenty-five tons of solo
mineral matter is daily dealt out to thu
customers of the New York Croton waite
works.
ct uArr tn die + 1pa,ted To 1,5oor my