The Volcano lubricator. (Volcano, W. Va.) 1871-1879, 1874-01-06

NO.. 80

ployes of every grade demand to be
admitted free. And they don't come
alone; they sweep in with two, three,
four or five friends piece. It's pan
+demonium. There are some Offices
from which five or six men send for
tickets every day. And what's the in
fernal regions is that they always want
the very best Seats"
Here Mr.. Zimmerman took breath
ing spell, and gazed with sorrowful
and oppressed air through the window.
Then he spoke thus:
"And there's the profession. They're
lower regions upon us. They all ex-
pect to get in free. They bother us to
death. They bring their sons, their
daughters, their mothers law, their
grdRdfathers, their man servants, and
their maid servants, their friends, and
when they haven't got anybody else,
men with blotched noses whom they
PICK up at beer saloons round the cor.
ner."
Again Mr.. Zimmerman paused
He stood with lowering brows, and
chewed the end Of his cigar as though
he was decapitating dentally the hy-
dra- headed monster Of dead-headism.
Presently he remarked:
GA lean young man came to me the
other day and claimed admission on
the ground that he belonged to the
profession. happened to know him.
He goes around and gets three dollars
week for speaking line parts at the
minor theaters. told him to git
Another young fellow came up to the
box office as peart as you please, and
said:
"Say, do you pass showmen"
"Perhaps," said /. "What show do
YOU belong to-"
ITO the big show" says he.
"What line Of business do you take"
says l.. .'..
"I distribute the bills" says he.
"Clear out" says I, and he slid off,"
"Are you troubled with applications
for free passes from oflicials" -
awe used to be, but not now, as
general rule. The police don't trouble
us any, more, Formerly policemen, .
would come without their uniforms
and show their badges to get in. But
we've stopped all that" a.- .-
Have you many applications from
newspaper correspondents" "
eyes, Stree, from all parts Of the
States; men come here from the most
out-of- the-way places and claim to be
accredited from some newspaper. II
we hesitate, they haul out their rail-
road passes as proof of their being
genuine dcad-head and not impostors.
Last week a man came TO me for free
passes. He claimed to be The cores
pondent of fourteen newspapers, and
thought he had right to as many ad-
missions.
"'It won't work saws l.
"'What do you mean? says he.
"'I mcan,' saws l, that you've got to
pay your money or YOU don't get in.
side.' ....'.
"Then he grew angry and used
strong language. At last, finding
didn't scare, he said:
"You'll be coming my way soon
with "The Crook" and then I'll fix
you
"They grow regular sassy at times,
I tell you, these dead heads do, when
they can't come it. There's news
paper man in Yonkers sends for two
tickets regularly every week, and there
is the proprietor OF small country
sheet in New Jersey does the same"
"But you have some dcad-heads, !
hear, who manage to get in without
any excuse AT all?"
yes, to be sure we have. There
are men of means who STAY around
and make acquaintance with the door
keepers on purpose TO sneak in. Many
Of these have more money than the
managers themselves. And then there
are others who crawl in on the ground
that they are the friends Of the mana
gers. But here's The funniest Of all.
Railroad brakeman come and ask for
free tickets, alleging as reason that
our company has Travelled over the line
they belong to-
Secretary Beiknap stood at the hy-
rDnniol oitor fOr tba .h:ri t;,ra ,rhnp