The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-04-25
All Sorts.
A Revolver-Tho earth,


Why is a now-born babe like the
relief of Lucknow Because it's the
long-expected sucker.
"Let the toast be, dear woman" AT
the man said to his wife, when he
wanted to eat it I'LL himself.
(Which my dear young lady, dc
You think the merriest place in the
world" "That Immediately above
the atmosphere that surrounds the
earth, l should think, because I'm told
that there all bodies lose their gravi-
Ity."
"Don't prevaricate, sir" thundered
q Columbia judge to a witness from
the mine. "Can't help it, judge"
answered the miner, Ever since got
a kick from q mule that knocked my
teeth out prevaricate a COED deal"
"Wife, what has become of the
grapes I" 81 suppose, my dear, the
hens picked them off," was the bland
reply. "Hens-hens-some two leg
ged hens, guess" said the husband j;
to which she firmly replied, "My dear,
did you ever sec any other kind7"
Muggins was one day with friend,
when he observed a poor dog that had
been killed lying in the gutter. Mug
gins paused instantly by the animal,
and 1t last said, "Here is another
shipwreck." Shipwreck !-where ~
There's bark that's lost forever"
His companion growled and passed
on.
We believe 1t is rare that an editor
INDUCES in a drop, but when they
do their readers are sure to find
it out. A contemporary wass called
upon to record a melancholy event.
at time when his head was rather
heavy, and did it after the following
manner:
Yesterday morning at four o'clock
P. NJ, man with heel in the hole of
his stocking, committed arsenic by
swallowing suicide. The inquest Of
the verdict returned a jury that the
deceased came to the facts in accord
ance with his death. He leaves q
child and six small wives to lament
the end OF his untimely lass. In death
we are in the midst of life.p
ENIGMA,
Tn Summer my whole is the farmer'spride;
Behead, and in Winter, at eventide.
comfort when work is done.
Behe;xl again, every day will see,
Summer or Winter, the farmer do me,
With his children every Que.
Again bebead aud no mistake,
A proposition yon will make.
NV last bead now cut off,
And u sign in Broadway will appear,
A token of something the old to cheer. q
Though the young and hale may laugh,
ENIGMA. O
Sometimes Tn hot, sometimes I'm cool;
When strong, my master is fool;
When good. yet firm, lis seen by all
NV masters wisdom is not small. q
When am ruled by stronger will,
l do no harm, for am still;
But when to stay me man ne'er tries,
Some great disaster may arise.
Though oft I'm quiet as a lamb.
When reused like a lion am; O.
Murder sometimes is caused by me,
When tnO possessors can't agree. O
Men. women, children. all possess
Ne, large or little. more or less;
All flesh is subject to my power,
From day to day, from hour to honr.
THE oL1rERAL ScHooLBoY-Among
the scholars when Lamb and Cole
ridge attended was clergyman's son
" the name of Simon Jennings. On
account of his dismal and gloomy
nature his playmates had named him
Pontius Plate. One morning he went
up to the master, DR.. Boyer, and said
in his @ual whimpering manner,
" Please, DR.. Boyer,ythe boys call me
Pontius Plate" If there was one
thing old Boyer hated more then a
false quantity in Greek and Latin it
was the practice of nicknaming. Rush.
ing down among the scholars from
his pedestal of state, with cane in hand,
he cried, with his usual voice Of
Listen, boys; the next
time l hear any of you say 'Pontius
Plate I'll cane you as long az this
cane will last. You are to say Simon
jennings and not 'Pontius Plate
that, if you value pour
hides." Having said this, Jupiter
Tonans renowned Olympus, the clouds
cUIIl WI OSVNs ANOAV
when the SANG class were reciting the
boy of dull and literal
turn of mind had to repeat the creed.
lie had got as far as suffered under,"|
and was abSut popping out the next
word, when Boyer's prohibitation un-
luckily flashed upon his obstruse mind.
After moments hesitation lie blurted
,ut. Suffered under Simon Jennings,
:ruci"-The rest Of the word was never
Uttered, for Boyer had already sprung
ike tiger upon him, and the cane
vas descending upon his unfortunate
shoulders like Norwegian hail storm
Or an Alpine avalanche. When the
rate doctor had discharged his cane
storm upon him he cried: What do
vou mean, }ou BOBBY, by such bias
,l,emy Z" ~ only did as you told
ne," replied the supplemented boy.
Did as 1 told youf" roared old
Boyer, now wound up to somethingt
above the boiling point. "What do
1ou mean Z" As he said this he again