Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-02-26

AhHo bOOSdO I0t ACoO Aocb tCoi,
and paid therefor $l3, l36,07l IA
Waynesborough, Pa. boasts of a
hsunted d~istillery, which is just the
place where one would naturally look
for spirits.
A man was boasting that he had
been married for twenty years and
had Y given his wife a cross
word, Those who know him say he
didn't dare to.
There r about thirty thousand
Free Masons in Ohio, and over four
hundred lodges.
There are over $4,000 idiots in this
country, who are acknowledged as
such.
If a saloon-keeper gets rich it is
because he makes many good bar
gains.
A prisoner in petty court was asked
by the Judge whether be had any
counsel. Yes" he said, | had en-
gagged an old ald-headed fellow 10
defend me, but l don't see him round,
and | guess he's ont for a drink"
An envious newspaper writer de
sires the School Commute to inves-
tigate the school-marm in that town,
who allows a young man to sit with
his arm around her in school hours.
When a young farmers wife made
her first boys pants precisely the
same before as behind. the farmer ex-
claimed: Goodness. he won't know
whether he's going to school or com
ing home"
Effects of the fog-Mr. Jollie was
discovered by his anxious wife a
long time after midnight vainly try
ing with his latch key to open the
front door. He stated for excuse
that the fog was sho sho-hic that he
c-couldn't seekeyhole.
The scarcest fur in Alaska is that
of the black fox. or 2l,GOO skins
taken N 1872 there was only one
black fox skin, which sold for the
large price of $3.50.
We have been informed that a pair
of lovers will sit up half the night
and not burn as much kerosene as
the family uses in an hour during the
evening.-Detroi Free Press.
What is the difference between a
farmer and a bottle of whisky One
husbands the corn, and the other
corns the husbands.
When a Milwaukee paper remarked
recently ''The lilac bushes are bud
ding" a reader said ~exci:edly, "You
lilac Satan"
A Southern writer describes scrub
a~ristocracy asthose who, having risen
from a state of obscurity and power
ty to wealth, boot-lick those above
them, while they scorn the honest
and poor.
1t is so cold in some parts of Yer
mont that whisky has to be chopped
out of the barrels with a hatchet, but
purchasers don't complsin so long as
hatchets are plenty.
A spread eagle orator of New York
wanted the wings of a bird to fly to
every village and hamlet in the broad
land; but he wilted when q naughty
boy in the crowd sang out, You'd
he shot for a goose before you had
flew a mile"
"John," said a clergyman to his
man, "you should become a teetota-
Ter; you have been drinking again
to day." do you ever take a drop
yourself, meenister?" Eyes, John;
but you must look at your circum-
stances and mine" VERY true, sir"
says John; "but can you tell me
nov the streets of Jerusalem were
kept so clean?' "No, John, | can
not tell you that" "Well, sir, it
was just because every one kept his
ain door clean"
what exclaimed the fashionable
Fitzwiggle to the exquisite Miss De
La Sparrowgrass, "what would you
be, dearest, if 1 shoald press the
stamp of love upon those sealing
wax lips2" 81" responded the fairy
like creature, "should be-station-
ery!"
A few days ago, a very handsome
lady entered a dry goods house, and
inquired for a "beau." The polite
clerk threw himself back, and re-
marked that he was at her service.
eyes; but l want a buff, not a green
one" was the reply. The young
man went on measuring goods i'm
mediately.
A correspondent who has adopted
all the patented preparations and
popular recipes for preserving leath-
er, prefers castor oil to all of them.
He adds: "We have had boots a year
Old that we have oiled with it, and
the leather was soft, smooth and wa
terproot to the last time they were
used; We apply it clear, without
They tell a story in Colorado of
foolish young fellow who made a hat
that he would lasso 3 orizzlv 80
bring him into camp. He made the
experiment. and slipped agood noose
over Mr.. Grizzly, but the latter sat
down upen bis hauncheS very coollv
and commenced hauling in on the
line. In vain the horse struggled-
the power at the other end was IRE
sistible; but, fortunately, the l.fiat
broke. and the rash young man es.
capped with his life.
A Young lady JUMP ed into the Ohio
River 70 recover her mpf-iust to