The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1874-03-21
various Items.

4 fstyi aims ywrlOus AteWS.
A butcher recently found a
shawl-pln h q COW he was cutting
up intuisteaks. / 1t is ssupposed the
animal had swallowed a milkmaid.
Brokers' How'are you off for
money this morning 2" Cashier
81 am off with what little there
was in the bank. Good-by."
A superannnated minister saws,
81 have been guilty Of doing one
thing for which the church viii not
forgive me: | have grown DID,"
AnIowa gentleman recently shot
a postmaster for refusing to lick a
postage stamp for the amiable and
accomplished wife oftbe shooter.
Justice Haines, of Chicago, has
decided that editors are professional
men, and that their scissors. paste
pot, etc, cannot be seized for debt.
Adam had one Consolation when
he fell. Fifteen Or twenty ac.
quaintances didn't stand on the
opposite corner and laugh at bis
nlishap.
The bee-keepers have failed to
determine how much honey a single
bee produces II a year, This ifn,
pcrtalt subject should not be
overlooked. g 'l4 s.l,
"Yes, my hearers,'' said 4
Wisconsin minister, "little Johnny
Clem skated into heaven by way
Of an airhole on Grass Lake, and
be is happy now.'
a long-mooted question bas been
settled. A debating society at
Sioux City has decided that Adam
and Eve were not the ancestors of
the human race.
An old lady at jackson, Tenn,
has asked the city authorities to
exempt her from, : n, city taxes as ,"she
seldom walks over their sidewalks
or pavements."
The color of flowers is, to a cer,
tain extent, dependent on the soil
in which they are grown, Yellow
primrosesi planted in a better soil
bear flowers Of an intense purple.
Charcoal deepens the tints Of
dahlis, hyacinths and petunias.
Carbonate ofsoda reddens hyacinths
aid phosphate Of soda changes il" il
many ways the hnes Of certain
plants. Y 1'.-g
A town in Massachusetts, is the
proud possessor ofa cat that picks
up pins and puts them into a paper,
whenever she finds one. After
getting q hundred, she exchanges
them for meat at the butchers,
The likelihood Of this tale is its
chief beauty. One can't .hslp be.
lieying It. ..,,c,.,.... al...,..s
The publisher of the National
Lie Stock Journal in Chicago
has been sued for lbeling a cow.
That journal published an article
deserediting the pedigree of the
COW Fannie Forester, and charg.
ing the owners Of the animal with
discreditable transactions, for all OF
which $4,000 damages are,
claimed. altaoj. ,..,g.. .,tt,ay
The Worcester Msss.) Spy
publishes the following epitsph
from a tombstone ina neigbboringt
"a Thedia unquenchable
patriotism of New England is illus
trated 10y the rneteE,s the words
being writtensyto the tune .of
Yankee DOodleifN eoir aa9F rf
ra" Kate Peacock ismy name, h&
Wolc0tyille my station, se
+, Limrick was my place Of birth,
2"' And heaven my destination. "
IHiia a4. .SAuti ~ 1927 AtGG Hl 0f
a Yaleiprofessor has aconundrum
ior somebody 10 solve phei.other
laE, stadent absent from
recitatioDtQand by a,sad mistake
handed matwod excuses therefor
One said that seriOus illness de.
tained ip,hisEoQm; the other
asserted that he was q member of
{ sailing party which Had Been
becalthedfh tke Bsy dGtil recitation
RSs pSsseago Both ACTS are 9dhfy
,A4oosxA Rek ,eRsA ~. q L.. s.zss 4