The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1874-03-10
0be 0ttes, Netp BlOOnrfleIO, 1Da.


had felt sure his tympanum had been
cracked with the shock. They sat down
together on o lounge and Wagman brought
out a decanter and glasses.
Brandy P' inquired the major.
Wagman nodded an affirmative.
All filed their glasses and the two visi-
tors rose to their feet.
"Our mutual friend" the colonel ex-
ploded with report that made the chande-
liers waver and the furniture dance, direct
ing his battery on the majors other ear and
waving his hand sweetly toward the wicked
Wagman.
With one hand on his ringing organ of
hearing, and with an effort that brought
the blood coursing in torrent to his face,
the major let off in the colonel's right ear
this volley
May he live long and prosper !"
They drained their glasses, and look of
outraged dignity settled upon their san
culinary faces. A sound came from the
bedroom like suppressed levity, and Wag-
man excused himself moment, saying
that pointer pup was more trouble than
triplet, going inside to quiet the brute. He
was absent some minutes, an extremely
embarrassing interval to the two guests.
Each felt more than anxious to exchange
social amenities with the other. At last,
having recovered his breath somewhat, the
colonel opened again.
GA remarkably open winter, this, major.
1t seems providential, does it not 2 in view
Of the hard til"
"God bless me yes" shrieked the ma
jor, without waiting to hear the remainder
of the sentence. "But-that is-damme
if this amt the most extraordinary person
ever saw p to himself in an ordinary tone
of voice.
"Sir p What do you mean, sirP' ex-
claimed and demanded the colonel with
feeling, ,elevating his voice an octave higher
than he had previously ventured. "Who
is person?"
eyes, sir, person, sir. said PERSON,
sir. What do you mean, sir, in turn de-
mand, sir, by Numbering in my ears as if
were rs deaf as you yourself, sir?'
This remark was to all previous observa-
tions as the roaring of the cyclone to a
gentle autumn zephyr.
"Deaf indeed p' retorted the colonel,
rising and menacing the major with doub-
led fists. "I've nearly ruptured my wind
pipe in trying to be civil to you, out of
consideration for your misfortune, and now
you want to know what mean. What do
you mean by by such outrageous below
ing P-tell me, STRIP
AS to racket, this was the grand finale,
so to speak.
(" You are a person ~ yelled the major.
"You deserve to be arrested for disorderly
conduct"
YOU'RE another-you're drunk |" re-
sponded the colonel in hoarse outburst of
choler. a0
Il" can lick any man that says Pm
drunk" gasped the major, trying with all
his might to shout the challenge at suf-
iciently high pitch to make it audible to
the colonel. He could not rise above an
asthmatic whisper. He squared himself,
however, and began to work his fists and
elbows to timber them up. But he was
brought to with response from the col
onel in an equally labored though subdued
effort. la l.o
"You can't lick one side of me-"
Both gentlemen instantly assumed a
| peaceful attitude, for each had understood
the remark of the other, uttered in whis-
per. Thoughts were working in their
minds. Their lInotted brows relaxed A
TRANSPORTATION ensued. Ioi ~
"Ain't you deaf2" the major broke ST.
lence, sinking into chair and speaking in
a soft tone of voice. et .e
"No. Amt you?'' rejoined the colonel
quite as softly.
"No. Who said / was P''
"Wagman. Who said wasp
"Wagman."
Just then Wagman came in:
"You're no gentleman, sir" exclaimed
the major, loftily, to the host.
"You'r trihing, ill-bred person, sir, :"
added the colonel. tt
"Never speak to me again." said the
major with withering look.
"Dare but TO look at me and I'll horse
whip you," warned the colonel.
"Colonel, do me the honor to step over
to my room" said the major, courteously
addressing the colonel, "aud I'll apollo
gize,' ~ 6G sur
And in digpifed silence they stole away