Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1874-10-03
FIDDLING FOR OFFICE.
How q Leff-Handed Candidate was
Taken In and Done for,

How q Leff.Handed Candidate was
Taken in and Done for.
Several years ago two candidates for
the Office of governor of Kentucky
''stumped" the state together quite
tremendously until they reached one of |
the counties in the hill country"
Here it was necessary to make decid-
ed demonstration, and accordingly the |
two candidates fairly spread them
selves to catch all the votes possible, |
soaring up to the American eagle, and |
calling down the shade of Washing |
ton; pitching out profuse promises,
and piching into each others party |
politics in a manner decidedly refresh |
ing to the hearers. On the first days !
canvass victory hung suspended by the |
tail feathers over the rival forces, but |
the second day fell slap in the lap of
the shortest and stoutest candidate,
leaving his long and lean opponent no
kind of show. In vain the long man
pumped up the waters of eloquence
and poured out a full stream, there
was no one to drink. But round the
short man elbowed and crowded
mass of thirty voters, drinking in his
tones with delight. Why this attrac-
ton? Had he barrel Of old bour-
bon whisky? No; he had fiddle.
Getting the start of the long man, he
had addressed the voters in a short
speech, and then, for the first time,
bringing out fiddle, retired a short
distance from the speakers stand, in
order TO let his opponent reply, play
ing, however, such lively airs that he
soon drew the entire assemblage away,
and left the other side of the question
unattended to, unheard.
For three days in succession short
man and the fiddle carried the day, in
three successive mass meetings, in as
many towns in the hill country, and
long mans chances for single vote in
those parts grew remarkably slim. In
vain a long consultation was held by
the latter with his political friends.
Get the start of him at the next
meeting and speak first" advised one.
Raise a fiddle and play them
chOOnes, said another.
yell him down, shouted a third.
of his first counsellor, and got the
start in voice, but the noise of the fid-
die run him neck and neck he would
have listened to his seOnd monitor
and raised a fiddle, only he knew it
would fall through, as he couldn't
scrape note; and as for his third ad-
wiser, he told him that yelling down
short man was sinply ridiculous.
Affairs grew desperate with long
man, when, on the third meeting, he
saw, as usual, the entire crowd of vO-
tiers sweeping off after short man and
his fiddle, leaving one nearer, and he
a lame one, who was just about to
hobble off after the others.
Can it be possible that freemen-
citizens of this great and glorious
country-neglecting the vital interests
of their land, will run like wild men
after cat-gut strings? Can it be possi-
BILE, say?" And the lame man, to
whom long man was thus elOquently
discoursing, answered, as he too cleared
out:
We'll. it can, old hossW
Despair encamped in the long man s
face as he watched short man at dis
lance. playing away for dear life and
the gubernational chair on that blasted
old fiddle: but suddenly ray of hope
beamed over his ''rueful visage," till it
shone like the sun at midday.
Got him now, sure y fairly shouted
the long man, as he threw up his arms,
Jumped from the stand, and started for
the tavern, where he at once called a
meeting of his political friends, con-
sisting of the landlord and one other,
then and there unfolding plan which
was to drive his rival nowhere in no
time.
The fourth meeting was held. Short
man addressed the crowd with warmth,
eIoauence and brevity, vacating the
stand for his adversary. and striking
up a lively air on the violin, in order
to quash his proceedings, but though,
as usual, he carried the audience
away, he noticed that they were as
critical as numerous. One Xfooter,
in homespun, walnut-dyed clothes,
with wild looking eyes and coon-skln
cap, eyed every movement of the nd
dle-bow with intense disgust, finding
utterance at last in
Why don't you fiddle with that
t'other hand o yournY
"T'other handw shouted chorus
of voices. Fire up with t'other
hand!' Faster played the short man,
but louder shouted the crowd, "Tother
hand, tother hand
Gentlemen, | assure you
"No more honey, old boss. We ain
bars y shouted the man with the COON
skin cap.
"T'other hand, t'other hand !" yelled
the crowd whIie even from the dis
tant stand where the long man was
holding forth TO next to nobody lis
teners. seemed to come faint echo,
II other hand, to other hand
Short man began to be elbOwed,
crowded, pushed; in vain he tried to
draw the bow; at one time his bow
arm was sent up to the shoulder over
the bridge; at an other, down went the
fiddle, until he shouted out
Gentlemen, what can | do but as
sure you that
"T'other hand r. roared coon skin,
shouldering his way up to the short
man. We've heerd about you You
fiddle down thar in the-Blue- grass
country, mong rich folks. with your
right hand, and then, when you git up
in the hills 'mong pore folks, left hand
fiddlin's good enuf for them; you We
cussedly missed it Left hand dom 5
wont run up hyar; tote out your right,
stranger, or look out for squalls !"
The short man looked out for squalls,
threw down the fiddle and the &" bow,
OH oh"-jumped on his horse and put
a straight horse-tail between him and
his euraged fellow citizens.
Its a fact" says the long man, my
opponents being left-handed rather
told asniust him up in the hlll-cOun-
try, and whoever circulated the story,
up there, that he always fddled with
his right hand down in the Bluegrass
country, headed off his music for that
campaign"