The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1874-11-18
Variety.

Tor Of curfuasly rsgcrd boy. Wei" sid b
iuSenu"usiy, e. na cuts ny pants, aud F~ cuts u
jaekeisn
Nrs- jenkins complained in the evening that ii
turkeys sbe had eaten didn't 81, vrIl Prshsbly.
sid Jenkins IA vas net beu turkryn lie gOl
glass o. water in bis face.
ANN IN Iowa by the name OF Suas Chew va
married the other day 10 rirl usmrd AnnS Gooc
Thr nosi ohtass person would Instantly call q
miud The seripirusl iujunctian: "S Chew ths
vhieb Is evil, clesring Ouly TO that which Is GOOD.
"Pa, Who = Many Voters 80 asked youn.
hopeful Of bis sire. Dou't know him. nv son
Why >" "Co-, saw yoa siguiu' his name 70 tha
letter you -, The other uighs uskiu you to run
Aider'ntu-" .Sa-h h, ny s0a, here's aiekel 81
and get some candy"
The Temperance hotel 3, Bethlehem. Pa. has tbS
following list n drinks. Sods water, Congress wa
Ter. Lrhirb water. Delswsre water, spriug water.
Ba>kl water, eve Esrer rose water salt Sster, CO.
&C nb punP EEter. rsiu water, eoGrs house water,
ro5g wsier ana waller.
A well known Corouer ia Boston complains that
his business is very DALI aud ibsi fatalities are az
--svutingiy scarve- he had his feelings outraged
Who bad faI.eu siT'y-tNo feet Jhrvuga al elevator
naa bad barelyrs scratch on him
some one las rr,ivea Arsemus Wards story
shoot reading one Of hi. lcciurrs 10 Prvsdeut Lin
eOiu, aud asking The Prrsidvuls DpiuiOu u Il. TIE
Presidents grave ryply as: A" For those that like
that Kind VI ec,ury, suppose il i just The Kind
Of lecture that such PvoPiv ~vuid lfkv. - -
"Nevrr bel % a horse race. ny snn- Il is wrong
70 bet sud besides, the bOrss that Ougl 10 win IS
Likely. In nine cases out Of ten, 10 he jekryed to
Jhe rezr- D. 10, bel AZ all my son but II yvU ~
on barses gei acquainted with the riders ia advance
o. The coutesi, aud see hvW the contest Is e0nins
out"
An Irish glsEier was puiting pane OF glass iHtoG
window, wbvn a groom Who Wss standing by. be
gan joking him. teIliu hin to mind aud pat in pru-
" VI patty The Irisbnsu bore the banter iOrsaBe
time. boz Al last silvuced his tOrmen,or With
" Arrsh. nov Dc OF Wid ye, or III pot = pain in
your bead without any pity
The Louisville Courier, Journal Eonde1 Why
Wisconsin, tolerates town called Psck~uukee- II
Is peculiar uame, aud the adjoining towns makes
considerable sport Of il. Tue adloiniug towns are
wauwatoss. weyNsuWegs, Nrpenskun, MaEoml-
uie, 6ewaskum, Nukwonago. Ksuksuus. weQui-
cck. and lev otbers which also have those sen .
Italian names
TIE gsa-naf Dc Karssszsu calls 1t "L'Adaire 4
Beechor. SiIlton, ct Victoria yodhull" Berchor,
S,istou, ei Victoria yaahun described eivGCy
men of the Auglican denomination, and wonder
ul accouut l. giren Of their adventures. Il sould
seen that these three persons, somehow Or other,
bad beeu led ssirsy by Nsdume BurrrhestoW. who
e siaird on gOod authority TO be "Ihs mother OF
Cucie Ton"
John Paul 10 describing Ss1togH bsll. suys:
lady sstructe5 eOssidrrshls attention BY having
Der drrss cut down IN the hack with a Ibrnlity
which ustouishsd me. snd 5elighr-d the back birrrs
n the back psEzA 'TWss utt Pompadour style.
xscly rstb-r msre on The bsrs6ur order at arrbi.
sc,urr. sheuid s.y; sad uasLEng esuIs be In bst-
sr tsse II l.dy's back were bOUlevaid-buI II
IOt, not
A reporter ofths Boston Trersc7lps is in lack. A
ery prity giri a~ked hin Il rscsHi car sest by his
ide vas engag-d. After ssying. Ne. Mss" he,
izlly spPrgciutis her beauty, une0ascIOusly said.
Are yauy' She 80 pleasantly aud Prsmpsly re
led.s NJ, sir" that the agreeable conversation
-hich followed fSr ten nile I-sds hira 10 hup~ Tor
better aceusinianee before bic season ticket s1-
.res, aud Be publishes his Adventure
Another groom and bride are atfraetinz consider-
BE stteution 5; Ssraiosa- The ErOon Is forty.
Tree yezrs older than thS bride Sue X very bezn-
ful and be is very brsTe-Sogefher they make
vsly couple. IL is spring hnEsring in the lap Of
iuier. with the fearful knowledge that spring
.ver cid stay there very lonE Bet At present sbe
securely piuned down b. point-l.es founees half
yard deep She is piitrd and stoned Niih dis-
oads, and completely ssnOthsred II silks-
A eOlorsd mar. recently deceased. il New Or
ans, owed the city nearly $4,000 10 back tnxes
{ liVed 10 = miserable Old garnet. WORKED like
ave, and allowed himself none OF the comforts OF
( He ovnea real estate worth s7oo.o al least,
q a large lmauut OF bonds and cash There were
uts sgaiHst him fsr taxes running back 5oEes
ans. which he avoided paying BY giving the city
per cent. OF the gruss amount. which the Law
irmified. and then be leui the money on uorigH- :
: for frOU Is 10 - Der eeut
oue morning Biddy SEEING her mistress IL q loose
-sPper, Srs sold 3 Eas siTied = hzH undressed-n :
Y ueEf l-rinE sker u1ssier brOaSbt ~ sssus To-
Hoes rh frou toe vices which be told her 10 serrs
" in an u0dreSsee state lFhrn bresktast was .
ady Bid3y cane with the tomatoes, having very
, clothes on h facs bera sinsi~ Esrneaf d<rksd y
r sturdy Hmbs. The master and mistress viewed Z
: with smazsmeHt, bat she na6s sure her ps.si-
% sue pacvc the 0ish % The rsbis, BY ssyiHE. y
lHSh. sure. Pm in an undress~d sIats, a ysA &c
ierzd ms sni hzeOrra IA uol strip ansIhsr rsg y e
e ny disehsrge-'
TIE late Rev Mr. Herick Of worthinEtou, Mssa, g
leeted his OWu saIary. for which every voter IN :
N was assessed. and, calling Mr. D., the VII q
= baeksmifh. one day, be slid. = E1Se Eaz1all 4
agaius; you" And tor wk1fg, sForp preach-
- .-For preaeSinEy' said Mr.. d. ~ have
re none ofJour rrraHhIng.' Z" The E1uIt e yDsr
u, said Mr. g. "Tbe 6Oors have been open.
yoz might have cone in" Not IouE ster, -
q. lEss PasSinE the olaeksuirh shop, Nr. D,
Hos kisa said. =, lnves snsH 6ill saius, youn :,
nd for What > said Mr. B. a For shoeinE your n
sc, relied Mr. d. = Fer sho-in< ny hursef / N
e had 10 horHe slod herr,r said Ar, H . lbs pr
L l. y0ar ouu," rrpli-d Nr. D. = Tue doom m
e Ben aFeu ala Toa nlelE taFseoueia, ., ~.