The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1874-11-21
NO. IS.
+ &Aor" And + &A'er.

Sulphur comes from Vesuvius
therefore, it is good for eruptions.
Although the milkmaid has pasg-
ed away, the made milk hasn't.
Necessity has no law, but an un.
common number Of lawyers.
The latest parlor game-Sitting
up. 1t takes two to play it.
A man ever ready to scrape an
acquaintance-the barber.
Home strctch-The stretch across
the matter ma! knee.
After all, tho best safety match
is marrying a rich wife.
The petroleum men are great
bores, but theymean well.
A Western paper chronicles a
marriage in this suggestive style:
" The couple resolved themselves
into q committee OF two, with pow
or to add to their number.n
A farmer, while tiaggellating two
of his unruly boys, was asked what
he was was doing. "Thrashing
wild oats!" was tho reply.
A Missouri paper says: eyes.
~terday we counted eleven ab1e-bod
jed farmers, whose grass and oats
needed cutting, sitting OH dry goods
boxes complaining Of hard times.n
A rude fellow once told Barnum
that he had never exhibited any.
thing that was not a barefaced
humbug. eyes I have,n said Bar
mum, "the bearded lady wasn't
bare-faced."
"Susan, how in the word did YOU
ever marry that brute Z" ooh. I
don't know, Jane. l used to pick
lint Oft his coat-collar, and he fell in
love with me.n
An impertinent fellow wants to
know if you ever sit down to tea
where skinned milk was on tho
table without being asked, "Do
you take cream3"
A lawyer engaged in case tor.
mented witness so much with
questions that the poor fellow at
last cried for water. " There"
said the Judge, II thought you
would pump him dry"
A Pennsylvania seven year old
was reproved lately for playing out.
doors with boys; she was too big
for that now. But with all imapi-
nable innocence she replied:
=" Why, gramma, the bigger we
grow the better we like 'em.n
The Squantum Debating Socie.
ty proposes discussing the gram.
NAUTICAL construction of the signs
displayed IN public parks. "Please
keep off the grass" Grass, it is
argued, does not fall upon you;
and why, then, should you be ask.
ed to keep it OFF,
"Do you believe there arc any
people who never heard the sOld
Hundred 2" asked a musical young
lady at the family table. "Lots Of
folks never heard it," interrupted
the precocious young brother.
q Where are they, ! should like to
know :" I'm the deaf and dumb
asylum !"
Little words are the sweetest to
hear; little charities fly farthest
and stay longest on the wing; lit
tie lakes are the stillest; little
hearts are the fullest, and little
farms are the best titled. Little
books are the most read, and little
songs the dearest loved. And
when nature would make ANYTHING
rare and beautiful, she
makes it little-little pearls, little
diamonds, little dews. Agar's is a
beautiful prayer, but then it is a
little one, and the burden OF the ne.
tition is for but little. The sermon
IN the mount is little, but the last
dedication discourse was an hour.
Life is made up of Titles; death is
what remains of them all. Day is
made up of little beams, and night
S glorious with little stars.
1t you wa:t to see how beautiful
,our wife looks when she's angry.
suggest that the young lady who
ives across the street, and who al
Ways sits at the window with her
oretinger pressed to her temple
md a pensive smile on her face
While you're smoking your evening
'lgar, is the handsomcst woman
'ou ever saw. Take care that
our head is not out of the window
when you make the remark. This
vas the situation with Mr.. Spell
'ackcr the other evening. The
came down so rapidly that
'e hadn't time to get all his head
II and he doesn't look we'll half.