, 1874-08-23

There come tho men our CHEF ~sc slew:
There come the met, Who'll marry ytu.~
: She stabbed herself in the lreast-
-Lou1ssit{c C0sr1cr-Jouy7snk'
miscellaneous Feminine Items.
Understanding business is dull. and it is poi
| siblo now to get Slu material made up for So
1t makes u big difference when lady faint
away whether you tathe 1er temples with CAN
| phor OR molasscs.
~ discharged female Treasury clerk sayE t.
her fellow-sunerers: "Take cour1so, 'faintlng
| sisters; Government dsh-washiug IL q most d.
grading service for women Of ability
An Oregon school-ma'am stands rcfractor
urchlns on their heads, and porrs water dows
their trousers legs.
Women have become 30 plenty in Neyad,
that cross-cycd 1cmalo with her trout teeth ou
Is allowed to shoulder her own trunk and carry i
to the hotel.
When Savannah youth rots highly onraset
at another Savannah youth, he ravauges hinlsel
by throwing .snu1 in tho eyes of his rival.
sweetheart
--Post-Of1ice clerks arc weeping over the per
| versity Of tho woman OF the. period. who will
write the addresses Of her letters 'catticor-
na1ea.'
A correspondent exrlaius That married men
have their hair cut short during the vacation
| because they do not, III t.la absence Of tlcir
wives, need it to deaden the Eows Of the roll
ing pin.
-: Women" says Cd experienced Western
/
| neuBEapers- We have been editor for forty
years, and never lost dollar by female SUBJ
! scaiLers."
She can stand it pretty we'll once or twico !;
put. when yon spill saucer OF raspberry jum
into her lap tho third time, things get uncun,-
forsabfet aud she works shercounteuance % ii she
wasn't bor1, to be NJ angel.
Three men and cfoss-eyed boy couldn't
| Lift ladys trunk at Saratoga last week, and she
bud to unacs all her petty things the corridor
and 'em f6nr frt- ffiuf,}Z
| Poor thing!
Or course, ono in the country sees, among
other things, barefooted maidcnstrinping DER
the dewy grass, but then most Of en- have soro
heels. and; tho romance fades away like wash
| ing left out over night
Among tho visitors at Santa Cruz "a Ca]ifor-
mia waterlns-place) is San Francisco lady, tho
I wife OF prominent stock-brokcr, who has made
ing mask Of chamo;s ieather. It is said she en-
yc1ors herself in leather to save . sinsular1v
beautiful complexion. She is alluded to il town
as - tho woman in the yellow mask
Tho TtuHvlllo Ner0td wants to know: a Is
there anything in the world more trying to the
soul OF d man thnn to find that his quarterly gas
bill exceeds the highest figures his prolific i'm
.Siuation had whispered ?" Yea, there is. 1t is
to have. your wife come home from tue country
aud find that BILL md sniH out 3 remark to the
effect that You said that you went to bed early
whife she vas away."-Boston Globe.
Eli Perkins Oh Saratoga balls: Young gem
tloman-" Char1nin' evn'ng. aI.th Brown"
lonng lady-..ses. awful charmn--perfectly
squar doncs tonight p Young LADY: Oh.
Sir. Brown! kont, you knen! The s1,ar
donces are beastlr-perfectly atwocious-hawi-
blc-perfec:Iy dro'fuI. Let's donce gnlop.
Ineyre awful joily--pcrfectly divine
If NO nlay believe correspondents the most
dangerous place in tho country {ncxt to e. COX
lyn) il Mount Desert, Me-. for ti,ero. ha kavs,
:" Life is of very high order Of exhlaration,
and ono feels oil the boy in one to come to tue
surface. One feels like winkiue cordially at
every pretty girl, like syly nudqing gooa-looR-
ing. mddlc-aged widows. and like tving grand
mothers cap-atriugs for l'er behind her ears.
The frisk of youth has Returned, and the IRE Of
life is tanning"
-" They parted in sorrow, they parted in
tears" Ihe husband was to remain ut Bor-
dcaux, for he had-a situation there ; the wife
was to go to London a8; q govcrness, and they
filled the railway station With the noiae and
6orrow of their parting. " Do not cease to love
ME, and do not forget tina: you arc the wife of .
decent man. SAID the husband. '.Neyer,
nevor." said tho wife, ana she pulled out her
handkerchief and tied 3 knot in it, that she
might remember.-Freach paper.
An extraordinary marriage took place ut
Lexington, Eng. the other day, the ceremony I
being performed by tho Very llav. Achdcacon
Philpott in the presence OF q large congregation.
The married couple both belong 10 the parst, Of |
Lexington, but tue singular part s the fact That
the bride has no arms. and the ring had TO be- |
placed on the third too Of her left foot. At tie
conclusion OF the marriage ceremony she signed
tue register, holding tho pen with her toes, in .
very decent A. hand"
Harrisburg. Pa, Inns just witnessed an ex-
traordinary fecund;tr Of legal proceedings. Let
us state them according to tho order Of their
chronology: l. Maggie Bennett charged several
young mels with having broken into her shop.
!. Then Miss Amanda, fricnd Of tho young
men, caused tho arrest Of Maggie tor selling
:" O be joyful without license. 8. Next Mag
gio caused the arrest Of Amanda and her young
man for immortality. 4. Amanda reta1iated BY
. United sta:es license. She has been taken to
for trial, md SO tho little game Is
for the present suspended.
-'' ''Weel, annty what are yonr thoc1lts about
margin :" ea1d young 1nss OF II oue day to
decent RE1,ister, who had reached tho shady side
Of life without committing matrmonv. Deed,
lassie," frankly replied her relative, II had but
three thochts about It q my davs and tho las.
is like to ce the largest. First, when eas
young, like yorrsol'. thocht, 'Wha'll I TAX?
tLep. 40 the tlmo bcgan to wear by, I began to
think, Whal gst:' an. after / got INF leg
broken wi that whuulc GOT O Saunders Nc
Drouthcr's cart. my thocht syne was, 'Wha'il
ak meg an doot I'll lac the think the same
thochs till gang to my grave, unless something
happens mar by ortllnar.'
AT recent trial. anAberdeon young 1ndy got
INTO the witness box 10 be examined when tho
following conversation took place between her
|
aro you?" Miss Jape-" Oh weel, sir, am an
woman, aud dinna think it right to
answer that question" THO judge Oh, yes,
answer the gentleman how old you are" Miss
Jaue--' Weel-a-weel, anu So" Counsel" Are
'uu not morc;" Miss Jane" Weel, am Co..
Tho inquisitiTe lawyer still further asked II ehe
lad any hopes Of getting married. to which Mies
lane replied: "Wetl, kiz, Wilma tell leo; I
.lnna lost hope vets Bcornfully adding, but
ytina marry you for am sick and tired O. your
)aiayer already"
The khussu}itl -4khbar, the only Hindoostan
naper published at Bombay, has the following
The greatness of the Mahoma,an religion IN
:roasos by the gracs Of God. On Friday last an
English madam struck by the greatness Of
he aiahomstau faith and its power to redeem
innera, adopted the true faith with her sou
md daughter. The woman wns wiIe to If.
}ushev. who lived in Bombay, but is now dead.
;!le has by him d eoa and daughter, 6 and s |
ears old respectively. Tie truth OF the Islam |
aith has nado such an impression on her con-
cieuce, the light OF the religion has Affected
Ter so much and the influence Of the true and
he last prophet (llonor be to his nancy has been
o powerful that she at once won't to the Jakeira |
dusjid and adopted :he new faith The same
llsht abe Joined an Afghan named Mahomed |
lhan BY 1eesa mar1ingo."