The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1874-11-12
PROFESSIONS,
The Average PrOcessiOnist IS but an
OvergrOyyn SehOOI-BOy.

The average ProcessiOnIst - but an
OvergrOyvn SehOOl-BOy.
The tendency of men to herd them
selves into professions is one of the
mysteries of human nature, which is
only equa led by the tendency of those
who are not in the herd to stand in the
broiling sun and admire the others.
Why this should be so, what peculiar
satisfaction the man in the procession de-
riYes from it, and what objects he has In
view, are problems yet to be solved, and
yet il is probably the height of the am
bition of every average man to see the
day when he shall 60 in a procession
happy if he can march on foot; doubly
happy if he can carry the ''Ssar Spangled
Banner" or some other banner bearing
a strange device; thrice happy If he
may ride horse, terrify the women and
children with the earacolings of his
fiery charger, and shout hoarsely at his
division of the procession. All this is
more remarkable from the fact that the
procession is but a child's sport, with
the difference that the paper hats have
been changed for beavers with feathers
In them the lath swords for steel ones;
the tin pan and whistle for the drum and
fife; the red flannel stripe and bit Of
blue ribbon for a vaFiegated uniform
bespangled with jewels and gaudy with
tinsel, and the stick, which the leader
straddled so gracefully, for live horse,
which the leader, nine times out of ten
straddles ungracefully.
The effect of the procession upon the
individual hardly has q parallel among
natural phenomena. Your butcher loI
your shoemaker may be, and probably
is, very ordinary man, not blessed
with wealth or beauty having no soul
cravings or yearning desires for the
good, the true, and the beautiful the
owner of brood of rather dirty anC
| promiscuOus children with an intellec
capable of the scientific carving of 1
! sheep, or skillful cobbling of a boot
There is nothing majestic or awful abou
| him. You would not invite him to YOU
soiree as a paragon. Indeed, in hi
morning call at your house, your servan
ceives him, and they gossip together II
a friendly way. But once array you
butcher in a plug hat and white apron
| throw an emblazoned crimson scarf owe
his muscular shoulders put boileC
shirt on him, and stick a rose in his but
ton-hOle /; hang two or three tinse
crosses and other ornaments on hi
manly breast, and, if he be a larg
butcher, let him carry a bannL stuck i
pouch, looking as if it were rooted il
his ample corpus, and he becomes, meta
moIphosed into another creature. A
he marches along in a stately manner
keeping time, time, time, in a sort @
Runic rhyme, to the tintinabulations @
the band, he is an awful and majesti
being, who towers above you as 20
stand upon the curbstone, and look
down upon you as one of the sans ca
Totes. Yesterday he would have take
off his hat to you; to-day, if he see
you at all, he only sees you as an atom
one of thousand, admiring him mas
nifcent being, only eqHalled by a royi
pOtentate, and possibly surpassed by
sultan in the grandeur of his bearin
and the gorgeousness of his appare
AS you retire to your chamber at nigh
with the confused picture of flags, bar
ners, crosses, swords, aprons, horst
collars, trombones, and guns fittin
before you, the vision of this maiest,
creature appears, looming up like MOI
Blanc among lesser hills. You regrt
now that only yesterday you vexed b
great soul with complaints about toug
beef that you had threatened to di
charge this awe.inspiring creature an
employ another. You regret your dull
ness in notrecognizing the possibilitis
lying dormant in HIM, and you mental
resolve to make your respects to hin
the Thrice Illustrious Prince, or Mo-
Eminent Grand Seigneur, or High an
Top Lofty Baron, commanding and Mo
Stunning Knight of Pythagoras |
request the pleasure of eating tOug
steak hereafter. rs-.E