The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1874-03-13

HOW INVITATIONS ARE CONDUCTED.
fFrorn the Randolph Enterprise.I

was securely masked by what | after
ward learned was a large burdock G
perforated with holes for the eyes, told
me that if | valued my lifeit would be
necessary for me to strip. As | dldcOn-
slider that considerable wOrtfftO me, and
as he italicized his wishes by carelessly
playing witha seven-shoOter, l withdrew
from my garments with eagerness. My
masked friend then furnished me with
the regalia of the first ~degree-called
"The Festive PlOughboyH-whieh con-
sisted merely of one large cabbage-ieaf
attached to Il Waistband of potato vines.
In this airy costume I was conducted to
the door, where my companion gave
three distinct raps. q was securely
blindfolded by binding a slice of ruta-
baga over eacheye.) Asepulchral voice
from within asked: "Who comes !"
My guide answered: "a youthful ag-
riculturist who desires to become Il
granger"
sepnlchral Voice-Have you looked
him carefully over?
Guide-I have, noble g~atekeeper.
s. V.-DO you find any agricultural
marks about his person?
Guide-I do.
S. Y.-Whata are they2
Guide-The candidate has ca1rOtty
hair, reddish whiskers and aturnup nose.
S. Wits we'll. Why do you desire
to become a grangerY
Guide answering for candidate)-
That Imay be thereby the better enabled
to harrow up the feelings of the rascally
politicians.
S. F.-YOu will hiring in the candidate.
My worthy STRIPPING, aSyou cannot see, |
will cause you to feel that you are re-
ceived at the door IN the three pOintso of
a pitchfork, piercing the region of the
stomach, which is to teach You the three
great virtues-faith, hope and charity.
Faith in yourself, hope for cheaper farm
machinery, and charity for the lightning-
rod peddler. You will now be harness.
ed, and in representation of the horses
Pegasus, will be tested as to endurance
and wind.
The candidate is here attached to q
small imitation pillow by means Of a
hempen harness. Adried pumpkin-vine
is put in his mouth for a bit and Bride
he is made to get down on all tours, the
guide seizes the bride, and urged on by
a granger armed with a Canada thistle,
the candidate is gallOped three times
around the room. While making the
circuit the members arise and sing;
Get up and dust, you bully boy
Who wouldn't be Il granger2 ~,
II the thisfle's prick don't cause you joy,
g-- To feeling yOu mustbe estranged, oh!
After this violent exercise he is rubbed
dry with cOrn c0bs, b~eeswaxed where
thistled, and Notwithstanding up before
the great ~chief-the most %worshipful
pumkinhead. @
M. w. P. H.-Why do you desire to be
a granger.
Candidate answering for himself)-
That may learn to eXtinguish sewing
Un1athInA nua1nfS ~
NJ. W. P. H.-Have your hands been
hardened with toll
Candidate-NOt extensively, but then
| am nOt running for office. r.
NJ. w. p. Hits well, for our lodges
contain several who are supposed to be
ready to sacrifice themselves for the
good of their constituents.
NJ. W. P. H. (savagely1-Giye me a
chaw of tobacker. "
Candidate, searching himself thorough
ly, but as there is no place about him to
stick q pocket tries to explain, but the
Most WOrshipiul Pu~mpkinhead inter-
rupts him with: -~
Never mind, my dear young friend.
/ am we'll aware that in yOurpresentc0n-
ditiOn you can no more furnish your
friends with the weed than Adam could
be comfortable in a plug hat and tight
boots. 1t is merely to teach you the
great lesson of econOmy-doing to others
as you'd like to have them do to you.
YOu will now be conducted to the most
eminent squash-prOducer, who win teach
you the grand hailing-sign of distress.
The sign, my worthy brother, will insure
you against many of the ills Of the ag-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. others against
droughts and being bit by the ~ferocious
grasshopper."
The candidate is now conducted tothe
mosteminent squash-producer, who thus
says: "My worthy brother, | will now
invest you with the order of the Festive
Ploughboy, which You have well won by
y0urheroic achievement while harness
ed may you ever wear it with pleasure
to yourself, and may it be a means of
terror to your enemies"
(The NJ. E. S. ?. then proceeds to in
vest the candidate with the regalia of
the Festive Ploughboy, which consists
OF q long tomato necklace.)
"The grand h~ailing-sign of distress is
made by gently closing the left eye, lay
ing the right forefinger alongside the
nose, and violently wagging the ears.
Il requires practice, but the advantages
are intense. 1t also has an important
Specification, which you will do well to
heed. The closing Of the eye signifies
that in all your dealing with mankind
You are bound to have an eye to husi-
ness. Laying the finger alongside the
nose is mathematical of wisdom, and
places you Mt once among the s'know-
ing ones.n This is extremely handy in
demonstrating new weather, and saves
the wear and tear of almanacs. Wag-
ging the ears signifies suhlimity of pur-
pose, and is thought to be emblemati-
cal Of childhOod's hannys hours., IT. is
also supposed by sOnlG profound sehol-
ars to have q distinct refeReneet0 APPLE
.dnmplings, but this faetis somewhatOb-
scure by the dust of ages. In token that
You are nj of MS you will now be,brand-
ed. When one granger desires tOascer-
tain. g for sure" if there is another 0f the
order in the room, he raises hinlselfgeIi-
lily by the slack Of his unmentionables.
scratches bis off thigh with his. near
hDOf, and REMARKS in q voices Of thunder:
/" Are there any gnangers abqutg" The
answer is "Jeese WAX
] was here interrupted, Mr.. Editor, by
a v0lley fired into the open window, evil
IDENTITY intended for me. Fortunately [
escaped without Il scratch, and, whichis
of more consequence, succeeded in fetch
ing off my precious manuscript. This is
about all there is in the ceremony of any
importance. l must leave the country
at o~nce--armed men are at nv heels,
They know that | am writing to expose
them. YOu may hear from me BY mail,
If | should deem it best to expose the
other degrees. Until then adieu, From
your sacred friend, B. RoLE.
NOtice-Fhis ceremony of initiation is
used during the absence Of the lady
members. Their ~initiatory ceremonies