The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1874-02-11
Grange Secrets RcvsaYed.-How Initia-
q. lions arc Conducted. -


OF the ladge, (Greengrocer Temple, No.
101,) was told that had been ballofed
sor end accepted. Ny into.msn 10
was securely masked by what after.
wards learned was large burdock leaf
perforated with holes for the eyes, told
mo that if I valued my life it would be
necessary for me to strip. As I did con-
slider that considerable worth to me,
and as he italicized his wishes by care
lessly. playing with q eeven- shooter. I
withdrew from my garments with eager
ness. My masked friend then furnished
me- with the regnlia of the first degree,
called "The Festive Ploughbcy," which
consisted merely Of one large cabbage
leaf attached to II waist band of potato
vines. In this airy costume was con.
Quoted to the door, where my compan
ion gave three distinct rapa. (I was
securely blind-folded by binding slice
OF ruta-bags over each eyu.) A sepul.
rhral vOiou from within asked: "Who
comes?"
My guide answered: "a youthful
agrionlturis. who desires to brcome O
granger"
Sepu!ohral Voice-Huye yon looked
him carefully over?
Guide-I havo, noble gate. Keeper. q
s. V.-Do you find any agricultural
marks about his person?
Guide-I do. =
s. V.-What arc they?
Gu!de-Tbc candidate has carrotty
hair, reddish whiskers und n turn up
nose
S. Wis we'll Why do you de-
sire to become u granger?
Guide answering for cnndidutt)-
That may be thereby the better ena-
bled to harrow up the feelings of the
rasculIy politicians.
S. V.-You will bring in The clndi-
date. My worthy stripping, ns you ean-
not see, will Cause you to feel that you
are received at the door ou the three
points of pitchfork, piercing tho
region Of tho stomach, which is to
teuch you the three greut virtues fuith,
hope and charity. Faith in yourself,
hope for cheaper farm machinery. and
churity for the lightning rod peddler.
You will now he harnesssd, and in rep
resentation of the horse Pegasus, will
be tested as TO endurance and wind.
The candidate is here attached to n
small imitation piow by means of q
hempen harness. A dried pumpkin
vine is put in his mouth for bit and
bride; he is made to get down upon all
fours, the gnide seizes the bride. and
urged on by granger armed with n
Canada thistle, the candidate is gallopYd
three times around the room. While
making the circuit, the members arise
aud sing:
Get up and du-t, you bully boy
Who wouldn't he Il granger?
II the thist!e's prick don cause youj,y,
10 feeling you must he estranged, eh!
After this violent exercise, he is
rubbed dry with corn -cobs, bees .wnxed
whcro thistled, and brought standing
up bsfore the great chief-the Most
Worshiplul Pun head.
NJ. W. p. H.-Why DO you desire to
bo granger?
Candidate. answering for himselO-
That may Ieurn to extlnguish sewing
machine agents.
NJ. ". P. H.-Huve your hands been
hardened with toil2
Candidate-Not extensively, but tLeu
[ am not running for office
Nj. w. P. H.-"Tis we'll, for our
; !oa gee ccctaic several who are supposed
to be ready to sacrifice themselves for
| the good Of their constituents.
NJ. W. ?. H. (4avageIy) Give me o
chaw of tobacco!
Candidate, searching himself tho
roughly, but as there liz no place about
him to stick IL pocket, tries to explain,
but the Most WorsLipful Pumpkin
head interrupts him with
''Never mind, my dear young friend.
am we'll aware that i'll your present
condition you can no more furnish
your friends with the weed thnn Adam
could be comfortable in plug hat and
tight boots. It is merely to teach you
the great lesson of economy-doing to
others as you'd like to have them do to
you. You will now be conducted to
the Most Eminent Squash producer,
who will teach yon tho grand hailing-
sign of distress. The sign, my worthy
brother, will insure you against most of
the Ills of the ugricu!turist amongst
others, against droughts and being bit
by tho fefocious grass-hopper.
The oandidute is now condut ted to tho
Most Eminent Squash Producer. who
thus says: my worthy brother. l will
now invest you with tho order of the
Festive Plonghboy, which you have we'll
won by your heroic achievement while
harnessed; may you ever wear it with
pleasure to yourself, and muy it be IL
m, ~ n f,f to