The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1874-06-26
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
s'InIBERGER. -

You are beautiful of wing,
And bet that you can sing"
Cheered by fiattery, the crow
! Sang. and dropped the cheese below
! Then the cunning fox did freeze
To the fallen chunk Of cheese;
And he calmly Tugged it of,
And he seoffed the song with soon,
| MORAL.
When they pat you on the back,
When they say that you're the one;
When they say they're on the the track,
And have been obliged to run :
When their compliments denote
They are going for your vote,
You can do just as you please,
But-you'd better watch your cheese.
GREEN BAY has decided that a widow
er ought to mourn at least three weeks
before shining around for a second
wife.
AN Indianapolis dog goes mad when
he hears a piano played, but there's
hundreds of men who do the same
thing.
81 AM not much for shtump spakin',"
declared a candidate ' but for honesty
and capacity and integrity, I bate the
divil-so I do"
THE Peoria woman who wanted to
throw herself into her husbands grave
a few months ago has Just married a
/ lightning. rod man.
| Down in Kentucky the traveller hears
fond husbands say /: Come, darling,
come in and get dinner, or I'll mash
yer old red-head with a club -
EDITING a paper is like carrying an
umbrella on a windy day. Everybody
thinks he could manage it better than
the one who has hold of the handle.
PROF. WATSON says that there is
never more than a million stars In sight
at once, but it will be safe to count 'em
before swallowing the statement.
An Arizona girl shot her lover and
then nursed him tenderly till he died.
His last words were, ''I forgive you
Mary you did it with an nivory-handled
pistol"
MANY a man thinks it's virtue that
keeps him from turning a rascal, when
it's only full stomach. One should be
careful, and not mistake potatoes for
principles.
No STATE but Massachusetts could
hold a summer session of the iegisla-
ture, but there the members are too
lean to sweat, and too stingy if they
weren't too lean.
SOME ONE was talking to M. Theirs
about the state of France. Don't say
France" interrupted the veteran states
man, ''call il the Duchy of Magenta"
NOTHING hurts the feelings of a Vas
sar girl so much as to be told, in the
presence of strangers at the breakfast
table. that she must g limit herself to
thirty pancakes on this occasion"
KATE FIELD says she goes on to the
stage simply to get physical exercise,
as sedentary life is killing her. Physi-
clans say that raking in three hundred
dollars night has tendency to build
up the tissue.
HARRIET BKEOHER STowB's husband,
the professor, as Harriet calls him, has
Just been mentioned by the papers for
the first time in ten years. BE wouldn't
have been mentioned now but for hav-
ing broken his leg.
ATOUTH will call George was engaged
to be married, but was financially una
BILE to call in the minister His affi-
anced wanted the affair brought to
finale, but George kept putting her on
with promises, saying he was not able
to marry, etc. Finally she said, Deah
Gauge, am willing to marry you, if We
have to live on bread and water"
ssWeIl. well. I" cried +" Gau0e'' in deg-
peratiOn, ''you furnish the bread, and
I'll try and skiTmish around and
hunt up enough water"
TIE Paris Figaro contains a senGA-
tiOnal mention of Mile. Croizette, who
is performing in the Sphinx at the
Theater Francais. In the enactment of
her character in the play she assumes
to poison herself, and dies upon the
stage-a personation which she is said
to perform with such truthfulness to
nature as to cal forth long comments
IN the daily press. One physician
comes ont in card, and declares over
I IL u 4
ly poison herself nightly, and that suck
reality will sooner or later prove fatal
If persisted in.
PERHAPS the most amused of the old
philosophers, or, as we are IN the habit
of calling them, '' Fathers of the Rev
olution," IL he had chance to see the
post-ofics department in the city of
Washington, would be Benjamin Frank
lin. In 1755, when he was postmaster
general, he gave notice " that hereafter
the winter northern mail from Philadel-
phia to New England, which used to
set out but once a fortnight, shall start
once a week all the year round, whereby
answers may be obtained TO letter be-
tween Philadelphia aud Boston In three
weeks, which used to require six weeks"
AMONG the waiting passengers at the
Central depot, Detroit, were a widow
woman and five children, and by-and-by
a man who waf waiting for the same
train opened a csnversation with the
widow and soon remarked that he
would like to marry just such a little
woman. 81 Here, Susan, hold this
satchel % said the woman, turning to
her oldest daughter, and then, reaching
for the mans arm, she continued:
I've been looking for you about hVe
years :" Everybody shouted and jumped
with glee, and when the scapegeat
backed fat down they said he ought 70
be dumped into the river.
MRN seldom give pleasure when they
are not pleased themselves It Is nee
essary, therefore, to cultivate q habit
uaI alacitY and cheerfulness, that, In
whatever state we may be placed by ma
ture whether we are appointed TO
confer or receive benefits, TO implore OK
afford BrotectiOn-we may secure the
love Of those with whom we have deal
ings. For, though it is generally mag
ined that he who grants favors may
spare any attention to his behavior, and
that usefulness will always procure
/ friends, yet it has been found that there
I Is an art in granting requests-an art
/ very difficult Of attainment.
AN Iowa doctor writes OF the remark
/ able grasshoppers that do so much
/ damage in that state =" In my opinion
they come from the lower portion OF
the British possessions. They are
very hardy insect. It takes quite
freeze to kill them. Immerse one IN
water for three hours, and he'll come
TO and have a better mashcatlve ano
digestive faculty than ever. They VIII
deyour arsenic with the aVidity OF q