The workingman's advocate., 1874-12-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

street, regarded the neon with sovereign
contempt,
" You needn't feel 90 proud. he said.
" you are full only once month, and
am every night.
You've sowed the wind, and nov Won
reap the Ehirlwlnd, said the school teach
or, - he brought his cane down in hurry
on the back Of q rsbellious boy.
Yes, and its n regular hurrycane,
W, schhed the youngster, between the
whacks.
A young lad selling papers around the
City Hall yesterday, had such q black pair
q feet ON him that they attracted such
general notice
" Sakes alive but why don't you wash
those hOofs I" inquired gentleman
Wash those hoofs n echoedh the boy,
looking dowu on them do you suppose
fellow can keep his feet clean and support
his mother, too
The other daY boy about eight years
old called At house In the northern part
Of the city and asked the lady for 10
cents, saying he was the sole supporter uf
his mother. She reached after her purse.
and inquired
" How old is your mother ~
She's 40 years old, promptly replied
the lad, and he wondered what made the
lady hustle him out without giving him
any money. Detroit Free Press.
Harry, after looking On while his new
little sister cried at being washed and
dressed the other day, turned away,
saying,
/" II she screamed like that in Heaven
| don't wonder they sent her away.
Henry Eure and his mother-in-law. Mrs
Wood, who recently gained notoriety By
running off together from Portsmouth.
Virginia, having got clear Of the courts
have eloPed a second time Henry Eure
IS fool
One of the meanest little things on earth
is to throw small water melon and lit a
political speaker in the pit Of the stomach
Just as he is explaining the Dred Scott de-
cisiOn.
A Western man set fire to the prairie
for fun, but after he had run seven miles
and climbed tree, with his pants about
all burned of, he concluded the sport was
a little too violent exercise to be INDUCED
in o.tener than once in life time.
If the time ever comes for the eNplana-
ton Of the mysteries Of tins world. VIE
shall be glad to know Why the young man
who remarks, on leaving church, ~ eau
preach better sermon than that myself,
is content to wear out his life over coun-
ter at 500 a month.
A professional man. not far from state
street, Boston, returning to his office one
day, after a Substantial lunch. said com
placently 70 his assistant,
Mr.. Peetsin, the world looks different
to man when he has three inches Of rum
in him"
Yes, replied the junior, without
hesitation, "and he looks differ
ent To the world
Here, You little rascal. walk up and
give an account Of yourself lf-where have
you been l'
After the girls, father
DId you ever know me 10 do 50 when
was a boy
No, sir; but mother did. "
My son, you had better ~ to bed.
Two Dutchmen lived very close together.
md they had been fast friends. but they
ell out, and hated each other like poison
Dne of them got sick aud sent for his
leighbor, and said,
Hans, am going to die will you for
give me p
" ii you die, will said Hans. But
I you get well. the Old debt will stand
good
II sam, SAID one little youngster %
mother. does your schoolmaster ever
glve You any rewards of merits ~
7" spose he does, was the reluinder,
/ he gives me hekin' regularly every day
md says ! merit two
Simplicity and purity are the two wings
~ which man is lifted up above al
earthly things. Simplicity is in the inten-
lon purity IN affection Simplicity
ends to God purity apprehends and
astes him.
A couple Of members of the darkey con
erence were passing down the avenue.
Theu one trod on the indigestlble portion
II pear, and as his number elevens went
up, the rest Of his being was correspond
ngly lowered
kI-yah, Brudder Jones. is YOU falling
rom grace l' chuckled his companion.
i Not prezacy, Deacon Tse sittin' on
he ragged edge Ob dispear.
A lady was examining an applicant for
he position Of maId-of all work. when she
nterrOgated her as follows
7" Well, Mary, can you scour tin ware
With alacrity n
" No nam, ! always scour them with
and.
Since the report was started that ear
1ngs make a woman deaf, over two hum
lred La Crosse husbands have brought
lome sets Of jewelry.
An unsophistlcated person once de-
lined plate W macarOni soup with tie
emark that they couldn't palm Of any
'lled plpe-stems on him
Noltaire and Piron were mortal enemies.
md TO their great embarrassment they
net one day at the country house Of a mn-
yal friend. PIron got up early, went "
oltalre' e's door, and wrote upon il the werd
rogue. Al breakfast time Voltaire ad-
ianced towards Piron, aud smihngly ob-
erved, thank you for showing your
interest," ia my welfare by leaving your card
It my door this morning.
The fog was 50 thick in Troy early the
'ther morning that the Times solemnlv
'vers one could not distinguish A police
nan from hitchfng post across the street
he didn't know that hitching posts never
more
On she goes Nv said lady. You
have mistaken the gender, said a gentle.
nan, 7 thus IL the mail train.
A lady anu her eight-year-old daughter
we're among the passengers on Detroit
street car the other day, and presently
the little miss observed man AXE ont M,
flourish it around, AND theu
wipe his nose The child leaned over N,
her mother and whispered