The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1874-01-31
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Mrs. If.{ {seup1IIs3' ea'p jim MOTHER 1a OBJECTS TO
III n 4 MUTTON


Il made Mrs. Sqniilsa as mad as forty
the other night ssidg Squills Il had
left E my latcl-key Sat home and had to
ring the old lady out of bed
Il hated to do it, Of COURSE said
shuills; but could not roost out all
night on the door mat, and when she
camc down she looked the reverse of
rosy, | tell you
It's extraordinary, Mr.. squills, you
can { think Of your latch. key. Making
me come down night after night'-she
hadn't done it for year, said Squils,
waking me out of my first sleep, and
catching my death of cold, and blowing
my ylnose half of with the rhssaamatism.' sa
q tried to LOOK as sorry asifshe had
lost her latch-key, and knockedru,c out
of bed instead said Squlls.
Never mind, MIR. squills; only wait
/ till dear baby catches the consumption,
and then you'll wish you'd never seen a
latch, key perhaps
Catches what, my sweet love p
Consumption, Mr.. SquiIls Latch
keys have brought more blessed babies
to- their latter ebdssthan you dream of.
Mr Squills, and L only hope my nose
NO Won't strike into Ebalg's lungs aud carry
her of, tllut's all
i hope she would not be abducted in
that way, said Squils, and then saw
l was IN i"r it, So, when | got up stairs,
ppllod Oft my cont aud boats, put on
ny dressing gam, lighted my pipe, drew
my chair up tor ohc fire, and sat down to
wait iur the hurricane. 1t wasn't long
coming She was sitting bolt upright
4 IN bedstasSsp s. inst'the pillows, and knew
That anosat fights sss
" 'a1r. sAu'lls, Fin sorry you bought
hutton tor 9t,,,ntorrew.'
Why my sweet IovcF
sY,m Rlnov another never touches
mutton. " hats TINT, So? SHY n.cold
tuter ut her and let her go No, Mr
Sguills, slall not let her 20 and /
shall not shy. = :celd n:.ter at her, sup
pose that disgusting vul4a'ity at the
lodge. a pretty thing, Indeed A man
who ,,callsi himself respectable, telling
the wife of his bos'me TO shy cold
tater ut her own mother. Id have you
Y :
know, Mr.. Squills, that my mother ism {
talat kind Of woman; .ypu can. shy
cold potatoes at her with inpunity, and
what's liiore you 8 au't'i7 Z ~.
oia' Nor roast mutton either said u
My family wasn't raised on cold pota
&oesi in old Virginia, Mr.. Squiils,, what
ever your family was. What's the
matter Wild mutton? Asked your own
heart, Mr. squills, fyou have sleart.
You know you might as well set her
| dowa to anIess ofwool. Aud then, as
that's not cruel enough, you want<me to
shy cold potatoes at her. What's that
you say about rip Mr.. sqnills? y Did
you dare to say 'let her rip p
I tried to put in here and explain
said squills, that l" was only getting off
Rip Van Wrinkles joke,l and that
didh't mean anything personal, but it
wasn't of any use. She had got her
Shenandoah away up, and that isn't
stoppatle, you know, ia one Of the 6rst
families t1st ,iua
Don't insult ME with your beas.ly
jokes, sir. SUan you look. that dear
infant in the face, Squills, after telling
her mother to throw potatoes at her
grandmother, and to let her rip all
because she don't like wool for dinner
And she shan't eat it, sir. No, sir; not
if l die for it the next instant, Sqaills,
She shall have a can of oysters and a
box of sardines all to her dear old self
in the Kitchen and I'd like to sue you
throw e,clod potato at her,.
! This Kind Of argument was unanswer
| able,' said Squills, $50 I sat and smoked
my pipe and she subsided.s Just as |
was getting into bed, she looked up and
said, 'Mr. SquillS, don't forget to bolt
the door y ,-. ,.t
The 'next day, q don't know where
it came irony but thore was turkey
on On the table, and Mrs. Squills and tile
dear old party from the Shenandoah
Valley were all as, smiling as you please,
l never said mutton once said Squills. /
Eal A famous rat hunt has tlkeh place at .