National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-03-28


doing that fori The Englishman ssid he was
going to wade that stream. Both the told citi-
sens," looking ct him In astonishment, asked
him why he didn't step across III li 81
"Step across itr replied the Britisher, "step
across III Not I. What do I know about dis
tances in your blarsted county!"
i GENERAL NEWS
The experiment Of raising the ostrich VII b
Three Of the nine United States Supreme Court
judges are natives Of Connecticut sslr-r.- p
A new iron bridge viii b built soPess the One.
i mango river, ct Binghamton, N. Y, next season.
Most men like to So themselves In print. La
dies like to sss Themselves In silks and vslvsts
The nrm Of Grim 4 Barrett need not have
sddsd to their slgn 'dsntista" r-
SThs dairymen are discussing the question, SIS
butter Of the nrst rank good buttsrf" Strong
arguments Are made On both sides - !, j.
concludes with: "In her life she wass pattern
worthy to b followed; and her desth-oh, how
eonsoling to her frlsnds!' $685.. rE
Waiter, ito old gent q rsstanrant.) "Taks any
pastry, sr'' Old gent, ito waiter.) ayes; bring
me :s.aelss ym!tes .e,r "w.,s:., TO old
A ssntieh.E blend e.: two esn.ris,, and h..
named them "Whesler" and "wiison." His
reason for these sppellstions is that neither Of
them ars 'SingerL" -fsl. -- r-E a..
Ars blacksmiths, who make . living BY forging,
or carpenters who do little counter nttilg, any
| worse than men who sell iron and steel for .
livingf ~. ..' '
The first day that Charles Sumner entered the
Senate Of the United States - . msmber Of that
body was the last day Of the Senatorial service
Of Henry Clay.
The Union Pacific road 10 now In the hands Of
Jay Gould-he owns 1871 900 shares out Of 800 900,
and Is putting the screws on to declare dividend
OF four per cent. -..-. -rs
| Aquarrslsoms couple were discussing the sub
jet Of spitaphs and tombstones, and the husband
said: my dear, what kind Of . stone do you sup
pose they viii give ne when I def" "Brimstone,
| my low" was the adectionats reply.
new idea with regard to weddings has been
invented In Connecticut A citizen Of that State
announces that his golden wedding will come Cd
just thirty yssrs from now, and offers liberal
discount On any presents his friends design then
| to make him.
A niece Of Mrs. Malaprop, who Is Just now
going through . course Of Mathematics, some
| what pushed her good aunt the other day BY
asking her whether It was proper, among the
comic sections, to make any allusien to the Puns
A.inorum. nose. -.. -.
A Kentucky woman destroyed all her boarding
and matrimonial chances the other day BY de-
vourirp ION \ wager Of s2o, the whole Of a roast
pig, An entire stuffed turkey, all Of an opossum
and ten large oorn-dodRsrs, besides drinking .
gallon Of hard cider. ..
A New York sls,rvm.n Kindly dss.nd. g.
Paul from the opprobrtum cast upon him by fe-
male lecturers BY saying that the Apostle's in
junction upon feminine speaking in church was
only Intended for the Corinthian women, who
were very impulsivs, and spoke early and often.
rbs r,rl. az Attn. lava b.,. resolved IN h.v.
nothins 10 40 Win vounr men vho arm. smoLs
chew, swear, or drive fast horses. But when the
fellows began making up to the girls Of neigh
boring town they weakened. This is not what the
girls say.
the poets who offer to write pieces gratutously 10
to accept their efforts, hand them to the worst
eompositor, and let the proof reader correct them
according to his own idsss Of prosody. This 10
warranted TO destroy the strongest poeticsl fever
in three weeks.
The Rev. James Freeman Clarke, Who was Gov
enor Andrews pastor, writes to . friend In New
HampshIre, where Governor Andrew has been
charged BY reckless Temperance orators with
having been IN intsmpsrsts man, that all the
stories about his alleged intsmpsrats habits are
pious lies.
It saddens the heart to behold the erief Of .
ing her best walking dress, and her hair erinped
and tied with pink ribbons One feels that the
grief which ais that young heart II genuine, e.
psclslly when it, owner says: "Donv crowd 10,
You are no gentleman"
The editor OF the IndIanapolis Senffael n ANN.
rently either Fenisn or Q Pole, He SAYS: "The
British lion got out Of doors yesterday, in the
midst of a peitinr snow. and hurrshed himself
hoarss. ali because one Of the STATE psupers had
Russian bear for the Briton to fesd,n
,.
80, .,.s - - a.s y ~. - ~.
other night, but finally decided that be vouId be
more at home at the public library. whittier he
resorted, and did considerable damage. His
owner will have to pay the bills, and he thinks he
n psrsscutsd because he yotsd the Democratic
ticket.
A.. rsosne funsr.l IN D.nburv vh.r. ..x.,.,
o,~,n,,.,ion. Ter. n .,t.na.nc. No .-.n. 49,.
were provided for . female ,ociety. The presi.
dent, after Ads citing about in . manner peculiar
to her unfortunate and happy sex, suddenly
blartsd out: II declare don't enjoy this fune-
raj bit" The announosmsnt east gloom over
the entire gathering.
A city merchant invited several wsll-known
literary eharaetsrs 70 dinner, some time
ago, to meet large party. Two Of the Hbook.
builders" arrived somewhat early, and began con-
yer.lns together. when their host rushed mp to
..s !, - .,.., No. yer ssatlsmsn; NOT
~ t p 49,. DS ws' e'' some moro Oh inc
'V-p.' - -
Inc reIerence fseent,y made to Mr. Summers
euiosy On Lincoln feesns the fset that several
otner notsole ofsuons on deceased Presidents
nave oeen oeuvefed N Boston. tlsher Anes Per
.otmea tnss .ssvlee sne.s On " esaangteo' Daniel
49,. :. 20 ~. ~. .%I x".,eo 49,. .o.s S .ne!
:. -. -...-.: 49,. pit T.-.s.r 49,
" Do. 49,. J. G.. - II, $500 =.
sOu, Isa. - 1 49,, " a. ~, "s0o'ury
"a fS'A' s"1 ''''.H y ''"' =" Ass''i
An sxchangs tolls ~ that sehoolboy's tooth
sche generally commsncss ct Q. n; reaches its
highest altitude ct quarter to nine, when the
palm 10 intense TO IN sxtraordinary degree; com
msnese 70 sabstds ct Q, and aftsr that disappsars
with CELEBRITY that must b. very comfortable to
the sufferer. - night that boy hasn't got four
quarts Of wainuts spread out 70 dfy up-staifs, 1t