davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
From the Dead-Perhaps a little
"Fishy."

In town of Northern New York a
of the brain, concerning which the local
medical authorizes differed wildly and
acrimoniously. In fact, two particular
physicians, who had long been profess
sional rivals, so radically disagreed as to
the exact character of the case that,
when he whose treatment prevailed could
not save the patient, the other did not
hesitate to allege that the sick man had
been destroyed by ignorant mismanage-
ment. When a respectable practitioner
casts such an imputation upon MEM
Der of his own professional school he
should be pretty confident of his ability
to prove it, and the accuser in the pres
ent instance was not unaware of his i'm
perative obligation to substantiae his ac-
cusation. But how wss that to be done?
He had firmly maintained that the dis
ease in question was caused by tumor,
and that the removal of the same by an
operation would save the patients life.
His rival insisted that there was no tu-
NOR, and, consequently, did not perform
the operation. Now, how was it to be
practically demonstrated that the tumor
did exist, if the patient was in his grave?
There was but one way of doing that,
and the doctor adopted it.
On Christmas Eve, near midnight,
/ br.ObfIxy from hOfaac
far and at hand, and the snow lay crisp
lily on the ground, the professional dis
putant whose truth and standing were at
stake, as he considered, in the matter,
took confidential student of his with
him in sleigh to the graveyard where
had been placed the hapless subject of
dispute, and rapidly and silently disin-
TERED the poor body and placed it in the
vehicle. Then whip was given to horse,
and away started the sleigh on the snowy
road back to the surgery.
But scarcely had the desecrators oi
mans last resting place got under way
with their ghastly prize, when the muf'
fed beat of horses hoofs somewhere in
the darkness behind them told that they
had been watched and were being pur
sued. Sharper fell the whip, and th'
spirited young animal before the sleigh
went like the wind; yet still the pursu
. ing hoof-beats sounded through the keeI
air, showing that the pursuer was wei
mounted. Turning from the main roa'
into by-way, or shortcut, leading thro
a swampy piece of woods, the fugitive
! managed to gain enough distance to stol
e the sleigh a moment just at the edge Q
5 a plank bridge over a frozen woodlan
D stream, and stretch a rope across tn
: dark and narrow road. This done, the
t were off again for the surgery close q
Z hand, with the gallop Of the pursue
b coming sharply again to their ears
e Pausing once again beyond the bridg
: to hear presently the collision of tn
r coming horseman with the unseen rop
# crash, and a cry of wrath, the two me
+ carried the body to the house and tr
e umphantly deposited il upon dissectir
Is table.
st Then, thinking Of nothing but h
own discredited diagonis of the disea
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
The Ruins of jamestown.

jamestown was settled by the intre-
pid John Smith, May IS, 1907, and was,
as is we'll known, the first English settle
ment on this continent. 1t was a pen
inslla then; it is an island now The
water long since forced passage though
the narrow neck that connected it with
the main land and left it an Island
But the effect of attrition did not end
here. For nearly mile from this To-
cality "the noble James" had been gain
ing on the land. So much of the old
town is now under water, and, at low
tide, evidences of this fact have some
times been discovered in the debris that
is left there. The old tower and ruins
of the church are now less than fifty
yards from the water, and must, in time
be submerged unless some action be ta'
ken to prevent it. The tower, ivy. gowr
and picturesque as it is, lifts itself som.
thirty-five feet above the plain, and i
eighteen feet square. 1t is impossible t.
ascertain the exact date of the construc
tion of this old building, for it was no
the first church erected there, though
was doubtless built in the seventeenth
century. Steps should be taken by tn
State to preserve it from further demon
alization, and to prevent it from eve
passing under the absolute control G
private parties. The island is now own
ed by New Yorker, and hence tn
necessity for action in the premise
to preserve this memmorial of the fir,
settlement of Virginia.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
Presence OF Mind.

The Boston Advertiser says that the
inmates of the Winthrop House, in that
city, were startled on Monday morning.
by the rushing Of a. woman in flames
through one Of the main halls With
wonderful presence Of mind she opened
a closet door and leaped into bath tub
Of about two feet in depth, turning on
the water from both the hot and cold
faucets, and curling down into the ming
ling smoke and fame before any one
could reach her. The servants hastened
with water to quench the embers which
were catching the carpet in all the di-
rections, while a gentlemen occupying a
room on the same floor leaped for the
closet door, which she had closed. On
his opening it she fell forward In a
swoon. The flames we're extinguished
and she was taken to bed, where IL was
foundher injuries will keep her an invalid
for many days Her hands, wrists, body
and lower limbs were badly crisped.-
She was preparing to 60 ont for walk
and, in reaching for something on bu-
reau, caused her clothing TO come in CON
tact with gas jet. Not noticing il nj
the time, she sat down on sofa. On
rising, after few moments, the flames
burst out, completely cnvelCping her
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
Meaner Than Stealing.

There are some things that are mean
er than stealing. I call for the negative.
No response? Then we will proceed to
particulars. | know a fellow out West
here who drives a good team, eats roast
turkey till his eyes stand ont with fat
ness, talks about internal improvements,
makes contributions to conspicuous be-
nevolences, and leaves his venerable
mother, feeble and half blind, to eat the
bread of charity or starve outright
Comparatively speaking, chicken steal
ing, or the felonious appropriation of
sheep, is mild expense. Sneak-thieves
will constitute brilliant aristocracy in
hell inhabited by such wretehes.
There is another case. 1t is woman
whose piety is of the sort that sours on
the stomach; who retails all the scandal
she hears, and draws on imagination in
scarce times; always providing against
contingencies by the saving clanse, that
she "does not believe it-of course not;
but" There is no measuring the
sinister, sulphurous, damaging meaning
contrives to throw into that blank after
the conjunction. The uninitiated seem
to see her holy resolution struggling
against enforced convictions; her unsin-
ming charity bracing its spinal column
agains overwhelming evidence; her re-
luctant eyes forced to see what her pure
heart desperately refuses TO credit. The
victim of her putrid charity" had bet
ter be fayed with a dull knife, shot
with hundred poisoned arrows, suffo-
Gated, brayed with a pestle, boiled in
oil-anything this side of SHINING or be-
ing sent to perdition, rather than fall un-
der the tender mercy of her abatements.
/ am in doubt which is the meaner, the
fellow that starves his mother, or this
creature in crinoline. Let us hope that
Satan has only "a few more of the same
sort left" in eithercase. Arson is a saint
ly virtue besides these practices. If
such specimens are going to heaven, we
may expect to see hOuse-burners and
matricides between them and the throne.
NATHAN SLAMBAYGUM.
p. S. | forgot to notice the local
preacher-man who sells tobacco and ei-
gars to minors, and makes his grocery
and drugstore loafng place for them
| N
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
Dlsheartened LIfe Insnranee Agent.

A family named Kemper moved into
house in our row last week, writes
Max. Adeller, and Benjamin p. Gunn,
the life insurance agent, who lives in the
same row, was the first caller. He
dropped in to see if he could not take
out policy for Mr. Kemper. Mrs KEN
per came down to the parlor to see him.
"I suppose" SAID Gum, "Mr. Kemper
has no insurance on his life"
"No," said Mrs. Kemper
"WelI I'd like to get him to take out
policy in our company. It's the safest
in the world; the largest capital, small
est rates and biggest dividends"
"Air. Kemper don't take much interest
in such things now, !" said Mrs. X.
"Well, madam, but he ought to in
common justice to you. No man knows
when he will die, and paying a ridicu-
lously small sum now, Mr.. Kempcr can
leave his family in aflucncc. I'd like
to hand you for him, few pamphlets
containing statistics upon the subject;
may l"
"Of course, if you wish to-"
"Don't you think he can be induced
to insurer" asked Gum.
81 hardly think So" replied Mrs
Kemper.
"He is in good health, I SUPPOSE
Has he complained lately Of being siels?"
"Not lately"
"May ask if he has any considera-
bic wealth."
"Not a cent"
"Then Of course he must insure. No
poor man can afford to neglect such an
opportunity. ! suppose he travels some
times; goes about in railroad cars and
other dangerous places?"
"No, he keeps very quiet"
"Man of steady habits / suppose"
Every steady"
"He is just the very man want, " said
Gum. 81 know can sell him policy"
81 don't think you can" replied Mrs
Kemper.
"Why? when will he be at home? I'll
call on him. don't know any reason l
shouldn't insure him."
'I know replied Mrs. X.
"Why?"
ale has been dead twenty-seyen
years. said the widow.
Then Gum left all of a sudden. lie
will not insure any Of the Kempers.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
PickereI Shooting on the Northern
Lakes.

The pickerel is fish of the same
family as a voracious pike, with some
resemblance to a perch. 1t is a dark
green on the back, and is marked with
few yellowish, irregular spots on the
sides, those on the fins being dark. In
form it is shorter and deeper than the
pike, and the scales are rough. 1t has
spiny dorsal fin like the perch, and this,
as we shall see, proves often fatal to it.
1t is generally taken by trolling, but
does not bit readily. 1t is essentially a
game fish, and is highly priced, though
many object to its muddy favor, ac-
quired by its haunting sluggish water
and basking among water plants.
Every country boy has caught them
with his impromptu fishing-pole of hick-
ory and worm-bait. But it is not only
in this way that they afford sport. Pick
erel-shooting takes its place with pick
erel-fshing. AS soon as the Northern
Lakes and streams are clear of ice, the
pickerel make their way into the warm
shallow water of marshy spots in order
to spawn. Here they can be seen lying
the back fin treacherously betrayine
them. The shooter quietly paddles, hi
boat or wades into close range, and, j
anything of a shot, will bring up thre'
or four pickerel at time.
This strange cunning makes some o
the stream quite lively, but leads to thu
destruction of great quantities Of thi
fish, which is to good too be exterminated
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

and the glory it would be TO prove it
trne, the daring practitioner set To work
with his instruments. Carefully shaw
ing one side of the head, and cutting
through the scalp over the spot where
the principal pain had been, he bored
with his trephine through the skull un-
til circular button of bone, about as
large as copper cent, was removed, and
behold there was, indeed, the tumor -
But the strangest scene of the curious
drama was yet to come, and may be best
described in the Doctors own terms, as
they appear in an extract from his pos
thumous papers lately published in the
Watertown, n. ", Dispatch: "With no
small degree of self-satisfaction, ! threw
down my instruments and was going
downstairs, when l heard faint sigh.
As 1 kneeled by the dead mans side
and, candle in hand, gazed anxiously in
to his pallid features, he gasped and
raised his eyelids. My God Coutd 1t be
a reality? Eagerly the slender thread
of life was seized upon, and hour by
hour, day by day, week by week, it was
strengthened into a cable Of perfect
health"
In other words, the supposed dead
man, whose disinterment had. aesnEred
bnt few hours after burial, had been
only insensible instead of dead, and the
removal Of the humorous pressure on his
brain was just in time 10 save his life.
And another strange discovery was, that,
on the same Christmas night, the doctor
who had denied the tumor, had broken
his arm by falling from his horse Sus-
pecting what his rival intended, he, too,
had ridden secretly to the graveyard, and
was the pursuing hoTseman whom the
concealed rope across the road so signal
ly oyerthrew
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
To Initiate an Echo.

The ear is about as easily deceived a.
the eye, and one by little practice can
80 change his voice as to make it appear
as if proceeding from some distant OBJ
ject. To perform in the general line OF
ventriloquism, a large room is best, but
for producing echoes a small one will
do.
To produce a mountain echo turn your
back to the listeners; whistle loud sever
al short, quick notes, just as if you were
whistling to a dog; then as quick as
possible after the last note, and as softly
and subdued as possible 20 be heard,
whistle about third the number ofnotcs,
but it must be in the same note or pitchi
this will cause the last whistle TO appear
Just like an echo at great distance.
This imitation, if we'll performed, causes
much surprise to those listening.
The same thing can be done by shout
ing any sentence, such as "Halloa, you,
therel,' "ship ahoy" Let your voice
be formed close TO the lips then quick
Iy, in the same pitch or tone, speak the
same words very subdued, and formed
at the back Of the mouth. This is very
simple, yet effective.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
A Mile In Thirty-one Seconds.

The following story of the achieve
ment in respect Of speed in an ice-boat
on the Hudson in the vicinity Of Stats
burg last week is told by the Pough-
keepsie Eagle: "Thursday last the wind
blew very fresh from the south, and the
owner of the new boat Cyclone de-
termined to take advantage ofthe favor
able opportunity Of timing his yacht
The Hudson at this point il very vide.
and at the coRrse selected IT, breadth IL
one mile. Having made every prepara-
tion for the feat to be accomplished, the
reef points were shaken out of the sails,
and every stich Of canvass spread 10 the
gale. With two meh on the windward
runner to keep the boat down 10 The ice,
the helm was turned, the sails filled, and
in a moment, with every inch Of canvass
drawing, she was under full headway.-
Like an arrow from bow she darted
away on the course, clouds Of pulyerized
icefollowIng in the track other runners as
they hummed over the surface Of tho
river, and in what seemed but an instant
the river had been crossed and the mile
accomplished in the almost incredible
time Of thirty-one seconds, being at the
rate of two miles in a minute and two
seconds. Persons on shore compared
the speed of the flying racer to that OF
a meteor flashing through the sky, and
watched her movements with eager in
terest. The owner afterward put the
boat through some movements on the
ice, and astonished, as well as paralyzed
the lookers-on by sailing all the way
across the river on one runner, the force
of the wind throwing her on her beam
and raising the windward runner
twelve feet above the ice. Although but
few were found willing to partake Of the
amusement, all seemed disposed to CO.
incide in the opinion that ice catching
is the most exhil irating Of sports and
the evolutions Of which one Of these
yatchs is capable, the most graceful Of
anything they had ever witnessed"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
The Deadly Sewing-Maehine.

The London Lancet says: "Some few
years ago one of the London hospital
physicians called attention to the fact
which had come under his notice repeat
edly among the out-patients under his
care, that the use of the sewing machine
was injurious to the health of those who
habitually employed it for many hours
together. The patients suffered from
nervous debility and other symptoms re-
ferable to its Employment, and admitted
that the constant exertion which neces-
sarily occurred in using heavy double
actioned machines had an exciting and
exhausting effect upon them. These
statements were somewhat strongly de-
MED at the time, but we think the almost
universal adoption of hand-worked ma
chimes in family life since that date shows
that there was a pretty general feeling
among the profession, and probably the
public, too, that the exercise required
for young ladies in order to work the
treadle-machine was not calculated to
improve their health. FactS Wnlcn nave
recently come to our knowledge show
that the evil was no imaginary one, and
that many workers at the sewing ma
chine, or machines of similar charac-
ter, do suffer very materially in their
health. One of the heaviest forms of
machines is, we believe, that employed
in 'braiding,' and young women work
ing in this department have suffered
very materially, and have been compell-
ed to discontinue the employment. But
the distress is not confined to one class
of employees; it seems to affect pretty
generally all those who use the feet al
ternately as the motive power of their
machinery. If the workers themselves
or their immediate supervisors, were tc
speak out, there would, we believe, be
abundant evidence found that 'machin-
ing is most exhaustive employment
and one which gradually breaks dowr
the health
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
A Terrible ENHANCEMENT.

81 married widow who had a mar
igable daughter. My father who often
came to sec us, took fancy to my step
daughter, and married her. Thus my
father became my son-in-law, and my
step daughter became my mother,
since she was the wife of my father
Some time afterward my wife had a son;
he was the brother-in-law of my father
and also my uncle, as he was the brother
Of my mother-in-law. The wife Of my
father-my step daughter-also had a
son; of course this son was my brother
and at the same time my grandson, since
ne was the child Of my daughter. My
wife was my grandmother, since she was
the mother Of my mother. For myself
was at once the husband and the grand
son of my wife; and of the husband ot
a persons grandmother is his grandfa
ther, I was my own grandfather
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
Largest Farmer of the Age.

A Chicago, California, letter says: Mr..
J. HI. Glenn, whose rancho lies about
fifteen miles south of town, in Colusa
county, is without doubt the largest far
mer of the age. He will put in this
year 10000 acres of wheat. At 25 BUSH
els per acre-which is not high esti-
mate for the prospects of the season
the yield will be 100000 bushels, OF
60,000,0O0 pounds. At 1877 pounds to
the sack, it will require 100000 sacks; at
300 tons per barge load, on the Sacra,
mento river, it will take one steamer
two years to deliver it in San Francisco
allowing one trip per week; and will
take twenty ships, of 1900 tons each, to
deliver it in England. But the MOS
important calculation still remains to b'
made, especially to Mr., Glenn, and tina
is the calculation of the net profits ac
cruing from the 81, 100000 it will bring
him on the rancho, at 81 per bushel.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

There is something extremely sadden-
ing in the sudden extinction of a cher
ished illusion. A certain Professor in
Vermont, who always maintained that
the magnetism of the human eye would
subdue the most ferocious of wild beasts,
lately took company Of unbelievers
out into pasture to show them how he
could subdue a savage bull. He fixed
his awful eye upon Mr.. Bovine for an
instant, but the next his friends saw the
owner of thatseye about twenty feet in
the air, where his arms, legs, head, and
coat tails pointed in all directions. Bu
he landed on the safe side of the fence
and when picked up he concluded tha
his eye wasn't working well that day.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

MODEST NEW JERsEY.-Boston, in
Massachusetts,, does not posses all the
modesty going, as is evidenced by the
following: New Jersey claims to have
been the first State in the Union to make
formal declaration of independence Of
British rule. 4 Constittion was adopt
ed by the Provincial Congress Of that
State, at Burlington, July ?, lT76, two
days in advance of the Declaration OF
independence. The State had only the
Constitution then adopted up to 1874
when its present organic law was framed
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

When we walk near powerful ma
chinery, we know that one mis-step and
those mighty engines will tear us to rib
bons with their flying wheels, or grind
us to powder in their ponderous jaws
So, when we are laundering across the
land in a railroad carriage there is moth
ing but an inch of iron fange to hold .us
on the line. So, when we are in ship,
there is nothing but the thickness of a
plank between MS and eternity. We inn
agine, then, that we see how close we are
to the edge of the precipice. But we do
not see it. Whether on the sea or on
the dry land, the partition that divides
us from eternity is something less than
the oak plank, or a half-inch iron fange
The machinery of life and death is with
in us. The tissues that hold the beating
powers in their place are often not thick
er than sheet Of paper, and if that thin
partition rupture, it would be the sam'
as il cannon ball had struck us. Deatl
is inseparably bound up with life in on
bodies. Struggle as he would to wider
the space, no man can at any time g
further from death than the thickness O
sheet of paper.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

A Montreal man said; "By the Lord
Harry p and a justice fined him 81 and
costs. How could a yankee ever put up
stove In that country?
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13
Beecher emphatically

Beecher emphatically pronounces
against teaching children the terrors of
hell, declaring that he has never known
anything but harm to come of spiritu al
terrors inflicted on children. He is not
alone in his opinions on this subject.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1874-03-13

A genius is popularly said to be one
who can do everything except make a
living.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1874-04-26
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

81. Matthew'S Episcopal Cburch-Corner La
mar and Elm streets, Rev. =. d. Davenport,
Rector. Sunday School at 4 pm. Services
at lOh am. and ~ pm.
Catholic Churcl-Bryan street new build
ing)-ltev. Father Martinier, Pastor. Ser
vices: Low mass, am; high mass, l0jG am;
vcspers, 4p.m.
Christian Church-Elder II. NJ. Gano, Pastor.
Services every Lords day at II n. ~, and ~
pm. Sabbath school at pa ann.
Methodist Episcopal Church South--Corner
Commerce and Lamar streets. Rev. DIR. w.
+. Easterllng, Pastor, sunday School at .
AIM; Services at IL n. m. and ~ p. m.
Missionary Baptist Church-patterson ave-
nue.. Rev. Abrnm Weaver, Pastor. sunday
School at So am. Services at lOE am. aud
So pm.
Presbyterian Chnrch-Elm street. Rev A.
L. smith, DID,, Pastor. Services every Sab
bath ut lOl2 am. and pm. Weekly prayer
meeting Wednesday at pm. sabbath
school Sabbath morning ut O'Clock.
Cumberland Presbyterian Church-Jefferson
street. Sunday School at So am. Services
at III a. IN. and s D.. IN.
Methodist Episcopal Misunderstanding eve
~ sabbath evening at Odd Fellows hall at
1880 O'Clock.