Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-02-12
BREVITIES.

about.
To LEARN the value of money, try to
| borrow some.
! BREACH OF COOP MANNERs-For ruin
| to stare you in the face.
No man who is not housekeeper can
! be juror in Kentucky.
DISEASES of the nerves appeared to be
unusually prevalent just now.
NERVOUS people are beginning to shud-
! der about their next summers ice.
new YORK has ried horse flesh and
| pronounces it superior to venison.
LET every man or woman who owes
money pay it at once, if it is possible.
| Nold definition of salt-the stuff that
spoils potatoes if they don't have any on.
TIME is short, and if your cross be
heavy remember you nave not far to car
ry it.
Observation-Disclosures man marries a
poetess, does he take her for better or for
verse?
The Boston Post records an entire alb
sence of sunstroke for the month OF De-
cember.
RED OAK, Iowa, pays bounty of two
cents for every rats tail delivered to its
Marshal.
"LIGHTNING-BUG piety'' is described as
being bright while it lasts, but cold and
soon out.
| SOMEBODY say: ''Tne woman who is
! Indifferent to her looks is no woman, -
Find the woman!
DEAL fairly, leniently, and cheerfully
with all persons who owe you or are in
| pecuniary trouble.
A HARVARD professor has decided that
''higher than Gflderoy's kite" is anything
over mile high.
DARwINIAN-lf the races of men are
| descended from monkeys, from what have
horse races descended?
BALD-HEADED men take a Joke more
easily, because they are not at the trouble
of getting it through the hair.
THE latest humor in the way of clubs
is that of the Springfield, Mass, dentists,
who join for nut lal Improvement
SPHINX says "the use of the bass VOL
in the church of the olden time was base
violation Of the Puritan Sabbath"
THE great wish of most people is for
fortune and nothing to do. How fully
men are punished when it is realized.
ONE of the neatest toasts ever given:
"Woman, the last words on our lips, be-
cause it comes from the bottom of our
hearts"
NOTHING is so bad that it might not be
worse. 1t is deal pleasanter for the en-
gineers to strike than for the engines to
do so.
A NEW weekly paper, called The Jim
and EEGzG Journal, has been started in
Mississippi. Jim and Eliza are the editor
and wife.
A GIRL at Vienna, Ind, lately swallow
ed a wasp, which stung her in the throat,
and she died from suffocation on account
Of the swelling.
UTICA, New York, has a pincushion
which belonged to the wife of one Of the
original Boston Tea-party, and, of course,
Utica is proud about it.
THE lady who lost the S., 200 in bonds
at Dubuque, generously thanked the BOY
who found and returned them, but then
times are so hard, you know.
THE Dundee (New York; Record says
that you can't fling brick in that town
without hitting a dashing young widow
worth from $4,000 to $4,000.
AT Japa, in Southern California, the
miners pack dirt to water on their Shout
ders for a mile and half, wash out the
gold, and make fair profits.
THE Dubuque people, after much
wrangling, have decided that society has
no reason to look down upon woman
because she wears muskrat furs.
WHY are the young ladies at the break
ing up of a party like arrows? Because
they can't go off without a beau, and are
all in culver till they get one.
IT is a notorious fact that men who
essay to manage the opinions of the
world, invariably neglect their domestic
affairs, and allow them to run to ruin.
If you are out Of debt, thank the Lord,
and then go round among your friends,
and enemies, too, if you have them, and
render them all the assistance in your
power.
THE Scientific american has discovered
a man that doubts the truth of the theory
that the earth goes around the sun. He
has written to ask that journals opinion
on the subject.
BROWN corduroy jackets, made double
breasted with deep collar and reverse, are
fashionable this winter. They have no
trimming save double row of large
bronze buttons.
II
for $500, and invested it all in lottery,
which returned him $50 and a brass
watch Then he wound UP his career by
lying down in front of a buzz-saw.
THE One-hundred-year almanac says the
year 1874 will be a very unhealthy one
There will be an open, moist winter,
which will give rise to fevers Of low
type, and much sickness during the sum-
mer months"
Pick up match IN the dark and at
tempt to strike it, and ten to you have
got the wrong end; take a loose match
out of your pocket to pick your teeth
with, and twenty to one you get the sui
phur end in your mouth.
CUTANEoUS ERUPTIONS IN HORSES
For the cutaneous disorder, apply the fol-
lowing liniment on the parts which the
horse rubs, or which are scabby and bare:
Linseed oil, one pint; oil of tar, four
ounces; sulphur, four ounces.
"WELL, neighbor, what is the most
Christian news this morning?" said gen.
tleman to friend. Il have just bought
a barrel of flour for a poor woman"
"Just like you'll Who is it you have made
happy with your charity this time ?" ''My
wife"
THE Indians have got new dodge.
When they are thirsty, which is said to
be quite frequently, they go into a saloon
in Depere, Wis, and ask "Schnapps
haben?" This always brings the drink,
as the saloon-keeper is bound to believe
they are Germans.
THE daily bath should not be neglected
~ o;+bor ad,1Itc or children In the win