Smyrna times., 1874-03-18
MESceIIUR 10 e o u S.
The Morning Glory.
BY MAX ADELER.

I, Alfred Brmmer, Esq, editor and pro-
prietOr of the Morning Glory, having observed
the disposition of persons who have been be-
rsaved of their relatives to give expression to |
their feelings in poetical form, reflected that
it might perhaps be good thing to introduce
to his paper a department of obituary poetry. |
He considered whether if, when an an indi |
vidual inserted fifty cents worth of death |
notice the establishment should contribute
gratuitousy half dollars worth OF mortality
stanza, his paper would not at once become
the most popular vehicle for the conveyancs
of that peculiar form of melancholy intelligence
| to the public. And Mr.. Brimmer rightly es-
timatsd that as most readers seem 10 take a
deeper interest in such sepulchral news than
in information of any kind, the journal con-
tanning the largest supply would have the
greatest number of subscribers.
| So Mr.. Bimmer determined that he would,
as an experiment at any rate, engage an oblt-
uary poet for a short time, with the purpose to
give him permanent employment, it the plan
seemed to take with the public. Accordingly,
he Aent for Mr.. Remington OFT, constructor
of verses, who had frequently contributed to
the columns of the Morning Glory poems OF
what would have been considered ~ a fastl
dious student of English literature of an appal-
ling and revolutionary character.
"You understand, Mr. Ott, explained
| Drummer,
| vidual is announced, | want you, as 1t were, to
cheer the afflicted family with the resources OF
your noble art. I wish you to throw yourself,
YOU NAV say into the situltion, and to give
them a verse or two about the corpse which will
seem to be the expression OF the emotion OF
the hearts of the living
"To tighten the gloom, in a certain sense, L
suppose % said Mr.. Ott
"Precisey Tighten the gloom. Do not
| H. laO ka1 hnf rath
ioyOus view of death, which, after all, MIR.
OFT, is. as it were, but the entrance to better
life. Therefore, would advise you to touch
the heartstrngs of the afflicted with a tender
hand. and endeavor, for instance, to divert
their minds from the contemplation OF the
horrors of the tomb.
Refrain from dependency, suppose, and
lift their thoughts to- :.
Just so. And at the Same time combine
eIevating sentiment with such practical infor-
nation as you can obtain from the advertise
ment Throw a glamOr of poesy, for instance,
over III. commonplace details OF the every day
life of the deceased People are fond OF
minute descriptions Some facts useful for
this purpose may be obtained from the man
who brings the notice to the office {; others you
may readily supply from your ma GIn1tlon.
"I'll throw off stanzas, said Mr. Ott, IN
I such manner that people will want their
y friends to die for the sake OF the poetry
"But, above all continued the editor,
"take a bright view of the matter always
Make the sunshine of smiles. as it we're, burst
through the tempest Of tears; and, II We don
make the Morning Glory hum around the
mourners of this town my name II not Brlm
y mer."
He was right. 1t dill hum.
The next day Remington OFT went on duty
and Brmmer ran down to the sea shore Tor 9
breath of fresh air All through the day deatf
notices came pouring in, and, when one would
reach OFT, he would ssizs it and study 1t up Il
9 as,ertan particulars. Then ho would rush uE
stairs, lock himself in his room, take down hi
rhyming dictionary, run his hngers through
his hair, and hack away for hall an hour al
n;ece of naner until he considered that he haC
that poetry in shape which would make tn
stricken family feel proud OF the corpse. Hnei
. his DAYS work was done, OFT went home Will
] conviction that the Morning Glory ha'
finally robbed death of its terrors, and mad
life comparatively valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded to tn
-, Office for the purpose of embamlng IN sympS
~ thstic verses the memoies OF otner GSParte
ones AS he came near to the establishment
he observed crowd of people IN front OF II
struggling to get into the door. Climbing
tree be overlooked the crowd, and could sc
within tho Office the clerks selling papers Ju'
as fast as they could handle them. From tn
- curbstone in front of him there was line
men, each maa engaged in reading the Morn
ing Glory with an earuestness that MIR. "
had never before seen displayed by the patron
of that sheet. The bard concluded eIth'
that his poetry had touched sympathet
chord in the popular heart, or that an apps
lins disaster had occurred in some quarter
the globe. m
He went around to the back of the ofhc
and assembled to the editorial rooms. AS
approached the sanctum loud voices we
heard within. Mr.. OFT determined to asce
tain the cause before entering. He obfaine
a chair, and. placing it by the side door,
mounted, aud pesped over the door throug
. thN transom. There sat Mr.. Alferd Brlmme
holding the Morning Glory in both hand
while the fringe, which grew in a small clre
der around the edge of his bald head, had straigh
req ened out, until he seemed to resemble g'ga
der tic gun.swab. Two or three prersons stood
v', uns front of him in threatening attitudes. Y
|. heard one of them say:
NV name is McCluo, sir-William McCu
JON. I am brother of the late Alexander McClU
. | picked up your paper this morning and pt
ceived an outrageous insult to my decess
relative, and have come around to deman
sir, What do you mean by the following
famous language?
m "The death angel smste Andrew McCue'
Mo And gave him prorActsd repose,
,ocs He wore a checked shirt and number nine Shoe
= - And he had pink Eart bis nose
1r No doubt he IL happier dwelling In space,
Over there on the evergreen shore
His fdsads are informed his funeral takOs place
IA Precisely at quarter past four"
"This is simply diabolcal Mylats brotl
(, had no wart, sir. He had upon his nose netf
and q pink wart, nor a green wart, nor crea
coiored wart, nor wart of any other sort.
Is a slander. 1t is a gratultous insult tc
family, and distinctly want you to say IoI
and do ann mean by such conduct z
g Really. sir" said Brmmer, cit is a m
. take This is the horrible work of an inc
diary mscaeant, whom trusted as broth
n l.. han nd for f