The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1874-08-27

men.
Note-shavers succeed financially b.
cause they take so much interest NJ
their business
Dayton, Ohio, has 3O8 grain elevators.
The grain, however. l. elevated M IN. III.
uid form.
The fool seeketh % pick d Nv from a
mules hind leg. The wise man I.tt.tE
out the job to the lowest bidder.
Memphis husbands punish their u.y,.
7 by making them sit on chunk. OF M. ,,0fI.
they knit the heel Of stocking.
Il wouldn't have left. but the people
kinder egged me on, said "a man who aa.
asked why he quit his Kansas hom, Boo o.
hurry.
The Milwaukee man who tied his dog
to wagon.wheel 10 learn him Oh be %
coach dog, is Disguised with the whole
business.
A stout old woman ia Detroit got mad
lately, because photographer wouldn't
let her tan herself while She had her pic
ture taken.
An old phrase has been altered 10 SUN
the age. An account of Petmrgh iu 90
morning journal says che was born ~ o.
rich but honest father
The Boston Globe thinks thc depth of
degradation Is a tub-rucc. The Globe.
ought TO see Brooklyn policeman cbasgJ
by burglar.
A chap who spent 81 500 90 graduate
from Harvard. is Postmaster in Iowa af
VA per year. Where would he have
been but for his Latin and Creek
Rector's daughter 10 sunday school
ooh, you have an elder brother well.
how old is heg' Schoolboy- dunno.
miss, but he has just started o'swclriue.
The first mosquito ofthc season va. cap.
mred near Newark, n. j.. recently. after
killing two dogs and biting olr nine inches
Of his captors ear.
"Sam, why don'ty You talk to your mas
ter and tell him to lay up Treasures boz
Heaven Whats de- use of him laying
up treasures up dar. lie never see um
again
IL is said that Barnum has offered Wc-.
ton 5000 10 walk against time "Why
can't somebody offer him S3 600 Cd walk
against stone wall or buzz SAW usIss
the Boston Globe.
at is "A beautiful sight 90 attend uu
Arizona wedding. The bride In white.
the happy groom-the solemn minister
the smiling parents, and from twenty-five
to forty shotguus standing against the
wall ready for use, make up q panorama
not soon forgotten"
Il want you 30 retract what You .aid
in this mornings Herald. or 1 will cut
your bloody heart out, ISL specimen of
the notes received by the ontcrprisiug lo.
cal editor of the Dubuque Herald
Engaging caudor: Papa" And pray.
sir, what do you intend 10 settle ON my
daughter, aud how do YOU mean to liyo2'
Intended intend sir, 20 settle myself
on your daughter, and live on you"
A young woman at Trenton, who was
sleeping with her feet hanging ont or the
chamber window, was struck Nv lightning
and almost torn to pieces The other
Trenton women have taken their feet boo.
"What brought you 10 prison, my color.
Ell friend" said Yankee to "a negro.
''Two constables, sah. eyes. but /
mean had intempeance anything 90 do
with it?' yes sab, dey was bot of EN-
drunk"
The louisville girls don't spend "alI
heir time trying to climb the holy bin 81
Zion, for on their way home from pIcnirs
hey attack defenceless young men and
Kiss them by main force.
The boy who, when asked 90 what trade
be would wish TO be brought up, replied
II will be "A trustee, because ever SINCE
papa has been "A trustee we have had pud-
ling for dinner WAS wise child in his
generation
A Pennsylvania boy got SD homesick
hat he walked seventy-eight miles, with
)ut eating, in order 10 sit down once more
It the family hearth-stone. lie was re-
,eived with such warmth by his male pa
'ent that it was several days before he
'ould sit down anywhere.
A rustic couple, newly married, march
"a into Colby's drug store and called for
oda water. The obliging clerk inquired
What syrup they would have Id 10, when
he swain, deliberately leaning over Tie
counter, replied: Stranger money isuo
,biect to me; put sugar in it,"
A Burlington man and his wife visited
/ soda fountain. He said he would take
Crusade syrup in his Much 90 hs
lorror his wife said that She would also try
Crusade" But the Druggist knew hjs
business, and the woman WINGED under
he fortunes of hot ginger. Her husband
vas saved.
After the prosecuting attorney bad
leaped vituperation upon the poor pris-
,uer without council, the Judge asked
i'm if he had anything 70 say for himself.
. Your honor replied the prisoner, d
sk for postponement for lS days, iu
rider that / may find blackgu1rd Do an-
wer that one there.
Al q meeting in London, 10 receive
epOrt from the missionaries sent 10 dIscgy-
n the tribe Of Israel, Lord Il was
sked to take the chair. II take he re-
lied, "a great interest In your reselrchea
Gentlemen. The fact j., ] have borrowed
money from all the Jews now known and
/ you can find "a new set ] shall feel very
much obliged. -
A small boy, telling his pals how hc
anne 10 be detected stealing apples in d
rocery store, proceeded Thus "Wcll,
didn't care 50 burned much about bein'
cen, but the clerk was croos-eyed, an j
bought he was watchin dorg tight cross
he street, but he was lookin square unto
ne, an he helped me clean into the gut
err"
In consequence Of a fatal epidemic
mong chickens in Minnesota, ministers
re receiving donations nearly every hour
L the day. This is a beautiful and affect
OK fact, and reminds US that no pastor