, 1874-11-08
HuM0R.

CaeHa too- -.... . .....
When does man shave With silver razorf
When no cuts OF his heirs with shilling.
The hair Of lady in Montoeller. w. turned
whita IN single night She fell into dour
barrel.
"A philosopher has discovered that men don't
object to be oyer1ated. except by AssessoEs.
"A put-up job-Ihe neutrality-suspicious.
bustnees.
That Iowa invention which is to effect s*a
perfect revolution in the saving OF Tood" has
been explained. It ID circular saw.
oh, kittens! in our hours Of ease. uncertain
toys aud tull Of 1eas; when pain aud anguish
hang o'e, men, we turn you into sausage then
da you put an egg IN tue oeo soaes ~, 70
we're 60 bad hsd to use four Of than"
What is the difference between tho Digger
Indians aud srotting- park? One is 1 coarse
race and the other race-coulse.
How far will penny 60? Well Scotch
ti1m Of wire. manufacturers have drawn one out
to 2. 100 feet
-bllaseeippi is singularly blessed in some re-
spects. traveller the1e says some Of the land
in that State il SO poor that q disturbance could
not be raised On it.
The Bergen IN. - Horse. Railroad Com
pany, in an advertisement giving it's time.table,
directs that " Curses 0! all kinds should be I'D.
dressed to George W. Downing, superintendent
-A gentleman at musical party asked =
friend III 4 whisper how he should str the aEe Or
without iuteEruptiug the mus1c. Between tht
bars" replied the friend.
The Atlanta Neaos chants:
The melancholy days haro corue,
Tho saddess Of tho year;
It's most too warm for whisky,
A little too cool for beer.
-"I am 4 ton OF Mars" proudly exclaimed
West Point cadet at an eventng-party. Does
your mar know you're outf" asked the young
ltdy to whom be had Just been introduced
We are told tLat the smallest hair throws
shadow" And soft does. It throws shadow
over your appetite when gou find it in your Sict~
uals.
-Anear-sighted citizen stepped into butcher
pounds Of meat sent to his house; but, after
sitting down on the butchers rat-terr1er. which
was lying curted up in chair, the citizen
changed his mind. and went to another shop. It
is curious how the purpose. Of the human laind
Detroit Free Press.
--"Take the lamp up." said Portland mother
to her daughter the other night, as the young
lady set out for her bed-chanber with no illu-
mination but the light Of her bright eyes,
GOOD gracious. mo:har," was the laughing
answer, - what kind OF = creature il lamb
pup ?" IA lamb-pup. my child. il the offspring
Of sheep-dog. Goodnight. Take tie lamp
Portland Advertiser.
at the Leo Township polls last Tuesday bright
and early aud voted. In the afternoon he agaia
put in IN appearance, ballot in hand, working
bis way TO the voting place. 4 gentleman who
had not voted once that day 'oa, yes," re-
piled the colored gentleman. II voted dis yer
mornin' for Congress, now is gvine for to vote
for Constable" and consider able argument WAS
necessary to convince him that one vote day
was the legal allowance.-Souhe1n paper.
Dan Davis, Of Virginia City, paid : vieit to
Promoutory, on the Central Pacific Railroad,
and WAS Charmed with the manners and customs
almost pat1larcha1 in their frank simplicity-of
tho people. He stoPped at the principal hotel Of
tt,af r. a mica rArn and th4 landlord
Was very agreeable and friendly sort Of man.
Says Dan ''When dinner was readJ the land
lord came out into the street in front OF ha hotel
with double-barreled SHOTGUN; Raising, the
gun above his head be fired OF one barrel. I
said to h1na, What did you do that for?' Said
he. TO call my boardeIs to dinner I aald,
Why don't you fire OF both barrel.7' .Oh, said
he, I keep the other to collect with"
whistline that tune!" Tbs bor had been whist
ling - 'Mollie Darling for mots than an hour
straight. The boy stopped, and swung bis leg
pensiyely for moment, rejecting whether ha
could afford It. Its . bargain gimme tho
postal bait Boy took it. gave It close e1ani-
nation, carefully folded 1t up and put it away.
and Immediately opened up in = cleaE high key,
"The Mullisan Guards" An hour Afterwards
the boy ras Hhlstling Tho Mntigan @ Gaa.t,s 9.s,,
ioua lover Of the old masters was SaTag1nS hls
attic for \ shotgun.
-'' Hafe you got some OF dot kind OF o5aters
fwhat hafe been shpiled Z" Spilled oysters
that / think viii 1t you" How you solt 'em =
dozen :" 40. Ill sell 'em right; you may have
ali Won want for = nickel" - Veli, den, nina
eoot trent win you be- so Kind to pring me four
DOZEN ion dos damaset lot7" The oysters vera
brought, and the customer put them quietly
down into the pit Of bis stomach, and, having
finished the job, lie said to the restaurateur:
]" Now, my very kiud frent, yon have Kot some
aood oysters 1ind lt7' You're mighty righ
Rave." Welt takes half dozen
rnw uud some pickles." These we're IN
turn served and quickly put down on top OF
those gono before. But the restau1ate,lr was
troubled, aud when tue patron came to settle the
bill, said to him: "Look here. pard, don't iike
to be too ,uqulsitive, but blowed ef nonldns
like ter know why you have took fancy TO 20
nauy spilled oys.era add 80 few coed ones -. :,
frent to me aud 80 l told yon "ouetiue~ You
see, it vas dis way. Nov: Lafe SO. tape ~rorm.
dot is do aay hafe to do. lou zee. dot last
half . dozen dem vas for me n71nesetf; but DOT
darnaeet lot, dem was for de tapewo1n. on
kuos dot amt dot kind Of Commodore 'atl-
derpit twhat eau al1ord it TO P1eak up m1no
whole peesness to feed . tam tape worm On goos