The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1874-06-03
FROM THE MOUNTAINS.
LETTER FROM SYMPHONIES"

HE Is IN AT THE DEATH VEL
COMES RETURNING MoUNTAISERs
.c-vIs1TING scIESTIsTs-GEoRGE Is
FORTUNATELY oUT--wAsH ALIENS
rMoUNTAINz HOUsE-THE BANGERs
AND TIE CHANGERS.
I'm THE MOUNTAINS, Nay 20, 1874
Mr.. HELMS The farce is ended
The lights are out, the curtain down
the Eirery spasms have ceased p!
George has turned out his mules
the old wagon is at the blacksmith
shop, and Old Bald has settled down
for long napI
When the inhabitants OF Pompeii,
who were so fortunate as to escape
from the dry rain that subcindered
that city, returned 10 seek their mar
bic palaces they did not find them!
The inhabitants of Old Bald have
returned to find their log palaces in
tact-except the smashing of widow
Eandy's mud chimney II
The natives who got religion when
destruction was impending. have all
backslid. aud arc worse than they
had been! George thinks they are
trying to make up for lost tune
George is there-dresscd in a suit
of store clOthes-and is using the
longest and most uninteliigible words
| ever herd
lie learned them from the scien-
lists who visited the volcanoI
lie has turned scientist himself
lie thought of adopting the Farm
er's Friend or the Vegetable Bitters
business. but he says the Science bu-
siness is Il e thingi
lie will lecture this summer on the
cause of earthquakes. VOLCANOES, ori-
gin of man, and such like.
lie rejects the Garden OF Eden
theory and substitutes one of his
own, which is both novel and start
ling
lie will lecture in your town and
then you will know how it is your
self.
He has adopted the Glazical theo
ry has found scratches at the foot
of Bald!
QIis son tells me that all the
scratches there were made by widow
Nandy's children y f..1
saw the Biologists en- route for
the Volcano! They were IN uniform,
except the Chief, who was distin-
guished Ivy a remarkably shaped hat
1t is known as the Bald mountains
hat. and is in shape like the Bald
mountain!
The Chief had also a metal box
ut his side | did not examine it,
but | think it is the instrument
invented by the late Lieut.. Derby,
u. S. n.
The box contains clock works,
with dial on top. A metal rod
about two feet long passes down in
side the pants. and is strapped to
the leg. The action OF the leg when
walking operates the machine. and
by looking at the dial you can tell
how far you have travelled. Derby
called it goOmeter.
George met them, and is uneasy!
Being in uniform-one OF them
having n gun-and that s range hat.
may induce old Belcher. (the distill
cry to mistake them for Revenue of
GERS Then there will he trouble?
Besides, rattle snakes are lad this
apring!
look forward with great interest
for their report! Old Bald has been
playing tricks on the Scientists
There are so many OF these that they
will surround the mountain and catch
her at it
] am glad George is out
Col. Wash. has been after me
about that old canoe! lit is the
same "Oltl Canoe we read ABOUT
in fact, it is suspicioned that Wash
wrote that poetry ~ 4a
lie has rcpainted and refurnislled
his hotel. and it is the most pleas
ant summer retreat in the mountain
| regret the Colonel is unhappy in
his domestic Relationship this that
he has no wife of his own
But he makes out first rate-con-
sidering!
| sec by the papers that the Bible.
Dangers (the Richmond Dispatch dur
ing the war, called them Hen Huz-
zies ~ are down on the Changers
The Changers might conclude to
winter fewer OF that kind of stock
hereafter
These hangers are at the bottom
of a heap of dcvilInent hidden be-
hind women's petticoats!
SAWBONES