Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1874-09-24

one Ol the IuAuTiSo VI liiO. CaSiSo 10
the other.
wus halted ut the gait by lefty
phat kwaker, l aXed him if he o - utd
that title inciosure. He Sc. he wus
plaised over il. He seed l wus mad
AMI kWle,iy shove me in. l WIS al
onsl brot into contact with another biz
dorg that wore brass koller. inquir-
ed Nv little cross man, that was hail
in up an advertisement, who that big
dorg Wus. He swelled hisself up to
about twist his usual size, and sed:-
"That is the President of the Arikul-
tural Society,"" He pinted to another
slim shad anu sed, "that is our Vice
President" looked at them in silent
awe. The President is a little old phat
Liam. l think he is little lame. |
wus told that he wuz spayened. He Is
u well-feu, phuuny little phellow. He
wears biosum of sum kind onto his
lett kote koIlar. i suppose his wife
sUwed 1t there. Hmy memory serves
HE rite there wuz sum kind ov silver
riggin Into the middle ov the blossom,
aud sum dog phennel blOssums stuck in
abuv it. He looked over his silver
specks at me, but just Lept on pickin
Nv his teeth with peece OF guse
XIV ill. He had led pensel stuk be-
hind his rite ear, to hev it handy in
kaSe thare Wud cum a rush OF biz. /
put my hand onto my kard kase a flu
timeZ and thOt l wud Civ him my
kard. But my hart failed me l hev
the kard yit, and he don't know me. |
Gait state here which Ov us mist the
grauest treet. He had his poket stuk
full NV ruiz, and never could find
what he wanted fur sum minitZ.
A man Nv sum % summer cum up
to him and kounsel NV war wuz nov
held. L interrogaited another man.
l asked him, with mi hat Oph who
that man wuz. He kurled up hiz nOze
md sed that thare man is the secretary
of the Belmont KOunty Agricultural
Society. lie is also Notorious Publick
and candidate for klerk.' And also
likewize Mayor of the town in which
he resides l asked him kindly if
that wuz all. He sed it wuz all he cud
think of jist then. He wore red bios
sum onto his left brest. Sum NV my
ackWaintances ware them onto thare
nOZes.
He likewise also he'd sum catnip bios
sums stuck in above the red blossums.
So this cud distinguish him frum the
President. l set down onto the end Nv
a chicken kOOp and wondered how
young man Nv his heft, cud stand up
under 50 much biZness. He is also phat.
His pockets also stuck out full of paperz
and led pensils. He kin ware led
peEsel out in few nIinitZ. He is a
acurate Speller. Bein of timid dis
posishen sed nuthin to him. 1 got
fu steps farther. A little slim feller
aXt me to buy glass kutter and put
ty nife. l told him As to cuttin glass,
l never did it. And 1 also told him
thot Enuy man who eat putty could
not be 'elthy. Hesed kud kut thro
winder with one Nv them the darkest
mite ever wuZ. TUX one. He let me
60 then. then cum square agin sum
duzen or more Nv chicken koops. Tina
got me. aXed the man who appeer-
ed to be oner and keeper, WHARF he
wuZ frum. He sed Kadiz. l thot he
must be frum Cochin China, but his
speach betrayed him. Iaxt him if his
fouls wuz gud to et. He sed mot in
thare present cOndishen." That stun
ned me. backed off agin shugar tree
and cum up agin; bat more kautiUusly.
He seen to Onst that l ment biZnes and
shoed me around to get rid Nv me. /
KEEP paper with the names of his
prinsepal fOulz. ''Game Partridge"
''Bertramas," "GameLeghorns, ""Red
Sedans," "Light Normans." Robert
Redeys," ''Blu Meshanicks," Burk-
shires, Red Combed Aldernys, and so
4th, l write these frum memory, /
lost my paper. My memory never
fales me. One fat ruster went asleep
and pitched over while we talked. Tha
eat kOrn in the ear. Bless my sole
how sum NV them krow. Tha must
hev the bronskeesucks. Tha eat like
deestrick skule masters. When you
cook them, you kin only boil one end
at time. Tha la egs as big as kokee-
nuts, l had one onst He choked to
deth on clothes line. But 1 must 60
to the boss ring.
P.S. 1 Wuz told, confidenshully,
yesterday, that if that red hoss hadn't
COED 30 fast, the black one wud beet
him. JOSH BILLINGS, ,JR.