Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1874-07-25
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.

anna AAC LLuob Slh
The latest joke about "Tupper's
Proverbial Philosophy" is that it has
been dramatized by Mr.. Dion Bouci-
cault for the Queens Theater.
IT is painful to hear an ungodly man
remark during the heated term that
"it's as hot as ginger, " when everybody
knows that he means something else.
Ar 9 o'clock at night, when you see
the big dipper with the handle toward
you, and the tail of the comet in the
bowl, it is about time to take drink.
THE startling declaration is made by
an English writer that the whole civil
lied world, "regarded in a mass, is li7-
ing beyond its means"
SAID Young America to his papa:
Pa, be you a Britisher?" Yes,
my son, was born in England"
"Well, we whipped you, retorted the
youngster.
The Austrian expedition which sailed
for the Polar seas two years ago has not
been heard from since, and the scien-
tific people are turning themselves into
Interrogation points.
"YEs, sir" said Michigan Fourth
of July orator, " Putnam went right
into the VOLTS den, dragged her out,
and the independence OF America was
secured.
THE Virginia youth who wouldn't
enter college because the faculty
wouldn't let him bring his three coach
dogs along, struck strong blow at the
very roots Of despotism.
An eastern paper contained no edite-
rial and only one local item for four
days, on account of repairs to the Office.
The "repairs" consisted Of putting
lock on door and washing the win
dows.
IT is proposed to plant the San Joa-
quin valley, Cal, with the eucalyptus
or blue gum trees. For length of two
hundred miles, and with width vary
ing from forty to fifty miles, the bottom
is level and almost treeless.
CIRCUMSTANCES alter cases. For in
stance, when a Virginian arose in
church and said "Here's a hundred
dollar bill for the old hoss behind the
pulpit I" no one thought of having him
put out.
WHEN you see a young fellow strike
a match to light his cigar, and then re-
store the unconsumed fragment to his
vest pocket, accept It as sign that he
has been reading some good book on the
necessity of economy for young men
about to marry.
THE amount of gable performed by
parlor crowd on wet day at the sea-
side is said to be perfectly appalling.
"The women God bless them, is not
exactly the expression OF dyspeptlc
guests at the hotels who are forced to
listen to the din.
WHEN a stranger stands on public
square in Denver, spits on his hands
and cries out, "climb on to me by thou
sands I" even the postmaster pulls Off
sponse a ccess.-bcToerFf6e Press.
LITTLE Penelope Marrowfat is a child
who is keenly alive to what is going on
, about her. Wiping the molasses
from her mouth, at the breakfast table,
the other morning, she sweetly SAID ;
off should ever die OF hydro phobla,
papa, YOU won't let EN- cut outmy liver,
will you"
THE acme has been reached in the
pathos of titles by music publisher,
: who has produced touching piece OF
mew.sick under the pathetic name OF
another Bring My Little Kitten.
We propose getting out q companion
! piece, "Daddy, Have you Drowned
!. the Puppies?"
PuERr CouzrNs doesn't dress like hel
Il brothers of the bar, says the Chicago
" Tribune, by way of c)mmencing an item
e That's undoubtedly true : she dresses
J.; bv putting on her clothes over her head
: while they don't, and, what's more,
3 thew can't. But what business is 1t ot
:, the Tribune's, anyhow?
r There is another big streak of ligh
~ in the South Carolina mirk. In spite
If of all the thieving and rowing and or
ganized anarchy, the number OF school
N in the state ran up within four year.
Is from 634 to 1919, and of school children
II from 1000 to nearly 1900. There i
encouragement in these figures, an'
hope.
"MY spirits is crushed, Jane, crush
~ ed" sobbed Mrs. Marrow at to Mrs
- Onopgs. "That lovely bowquette-
9 Won Temember-which it was l, MAJ
q. cerv Marrowfat, as sent 1t to Mrs
N Spliven's funeral. Well, the card go
10 lost. and nobody knowed as who
F." came FROM" And here her great al
h. guish stopped over afresh.
ed A MAN in Iowa, according to The Bul
II lington Hawkeye, died recently VIII
M Mou has taken his county paper for twely
ou years without paying for it. Upon IL
ou day of his burial the kind-hearted, TO
VI giving editor called to see him for IL
eln, last time, and stuffed linen duster an
Z, couple of palm leaf hats in' } coffi
=. He was preparing him for a warmer cl
- mate.
aw RECENTLY, at a church fair on l,
tn Hill, large and frosted cake was
", fered to the person who should que
ID nearest to the correct weight, at t.
me cents a guess. The pastor urged
De. Young lawyer to invest dime. T
practitioner replied, I'm play you
game of euchur to see who gets t
vs cake, but don't understand the 9th
asst game.
ade DANBuRY NEWS: Have you a lett
ion for Bridget Murphy" No" said t
ian Danbury postmaster, the other aft
got noon. "Or for Kate Murphy +" "Nc
ore " Or Patrick Murphy? ?" "No." 60
pom Michael Murphy?" "No." I"
en- Teddy Murphy" "No." cor 7
sew Murphy ?" No no letters here
ave anybody named Murphy" "Fhat
'ent post-ofice !" exclaimed Mrs. MurpE
eet. taking her leave. And, 81 wont
re- whether Tim Murphy was the bab,
was coGitated the postmaster, as he not
rect her heavy-hearted departure.
aEe Ie "IN the days of old Rome" say
% % writer in Belgravia, "when a sena
.ood was reputed of great wealth, he woI
ooI "t receive kind permission from the ST
Sot to undertake the making of q new rc
'UaS onS or other public improvement. OFT
'n;S "I" indeed, as a means OF perPetuating
'ii3, L;. name and fame TO posterity, lie woT
4 L AtaNl