, 1874-02-15
HVMQR,

"Came to his death while being hit ON the
head with lopg-handled stewpan in the hsnoa
Of his wife, was the verdict III recent ease N
Illinois,
At revival meeting in Montgomery County
recently, q young convert forgayo all bis enc
mics, iespecially the fellow who threv my pup
into q yellow-1ackets' nest"
-Rev. Gent" But you really can havo no
serious reason to wish to be parted from your
wife." Rustic-"Well, no, sir; like. my
mother"
ii Paddy" says joker, "whJ don't you
have your ears cropped ?-thcy arc entirely too
9nS nn fes hsy y1us e sort r fai
an ass."
"a gentleman at dance remarked to his
partner, witty young lady, that the " room wss
too c1ose--he muat 30 out and get some alr,"
After an absence Of bali an hour he returned,
graveyard, as his breath sme1t Of the bier"
One OF our Southern exchanges speaks OF
F." a gentleman who was arrested on the Charge
| Of countcrfeiting niehel5." It is impossible to
| 1e1ieya that any gentleman IN possession OF
| ness.. ...
I'll aee," eaid q young lady that some
printers advertise blank declarations tor sale
| wish I could get one" " Why ?" asked tho
est to ask me to marry him i; and ,perhaps, il
should fill up blank declaration, he would H'gn
it."
A youth. passing down Fourth street, saw
u handsomely y-enballishcd specimen truss hang
ing in shop-window, and suspended from it
tag with this legend: - Patent Rupture TEusa
Done ike it." - Well" said 1,uHticus, eyeing
it with suspicious looks and cdging away, ap-
prehensirely, II shouldn't think they would
like it."
=" Got ANYTHING for sick man to read ?" in
quircd pug-nosed boy at newsstand the other
day. YES, anything you want-Dibles, poeu.s,
.eligious books, Christian Herald and SO forth.
replied tho clerk. Bibles!" echoed tho boz;
~ do Fou think dads hangel? Gimme lively
dime novsl-one with an Iniun scu1ping = SOL
dier !"-Letron Free Press.
| "A Sacramento dealer in bair-oil, who sold o:l
the principle Of "No cure, no pay" has sued ono
Of his bald-headed customers; and the latter de-
mands bald-healcd jury, in order that he may
be tried by bis peers
Chorus Of ladies' to comcly curate who is as
cending the ladder to hang decorations" Oh,
Mr sveetow, do take care po1t IT. fo Io up! s,t 70
think you'd bcttcr let 4 married man DO that !:
Punch.
! -"You cannot taste In the da1li," said D lee
turor 'sNature has Intended Us to see otl
food" aThen, inquired forward T., pupu. "hoT no
answered tho Professor, has provided aim Will
I eye-teeth."
1T was at party that some young ladiet
we're discussing the rclative bereEts OF the spar
rows and the WORMS, when one oi tho lair once
appealed to young Fizzletop, WHO had Just joined
them, and had not caught the driit of the con-
| yersation, .sW}ich do you think the rorae=
worms or sparrows 2" What did the stupid bE1t9
do but innoccntly answer II don't Know
a picture in Punch's almanac for 1874 rsp,
| rcgcnts scene in nursery. A lady Is seaseu
| near the FIRE, and little girl is kneelnE before
Ler, while another little girl says: - Haua.
pleago mention Tn 60 dreadfnl1y tired can't
say mine to night but Ill b' sure to remember
Sir Richard Wallace has endowed Paris with
drinking fountains. All Parisaus are not crate
full to him, however. L man Of an enserpTslhe
| character vent to him and asked for loan e, OF
| SC. 600 francs for no particular cause Or
Richard laughinslY satd 10; na snank ~ 5ou, T.,
i.ls chnneau. and reYcn:ed himself With tho
remark. "After arl, Jour fountains are very POOR
nnAitB.
e1al organizations were In attendance, no Grape
badgns were provided loc female society. Tho
President. after ddgetlng about IN Hnnner
macmillan to her unfortunate aud happy ser, aud-
dTenIy blurted out: II declare! I don't enjoy
Ills funeral one bit ~ The announcement cast
gloom over the entire gathering -Danbury
-Citizcn-"W Well, you see how It Ia yourself,
Mr. Plumber. The girl left the laundry-room
window opened, Thermometer touched ze1o,
vater-pipes frozo, then burst. and, "a no ono
knew how 70 ehut on the piaguey thing, -he VA
ter run half OF the night" Plumber" Yes.
throughout; miserable pipes-Hondcr it dlda':
happen long ago." Citizen" How much is i
fng tenders?" PIumbei-" Well, l don't kno@,
but think will take the house in part pay
ent."-BostoA Journal