National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-04-04
HOW THE COLT GAHE

An old Scottish gentlewoman Zone Of those
genealogical ladies now becoming rare) would
never allow that any but people Of family could
have bona fde govt; If 1t was mentioned that
roturisr was afflicted with that disease, she would
shake her head: "Na, ma! it's only my father
and Lord Gallaws' that have the regular govt"
In BIGekvood's MGgGzins, 1858, in paper of sur
passing humor, appeared the following:
THAT pain that you feel in the joint Of your
great toe "Quoth Monsieur Gout, "hGs, you f1atter
yourself, become rather less since o'clock, when
you took your last dose of colchicum. Quite
mistake, my dear sir. The member is, II any
thing, more swollen and infamed than before.
Observe, now, shall take the liberty Of inserting
this little aHl, Just by way Of probe. Aha! It
causes you to vince. A very good sign that, how
ever, since 1t proves that there is no ground for
apprehending immediate modification. Now, do
you understand why 1t Is that your toe is so SIM
gularly sensltivef I'm tell you. You remember
three years ago ordering . lot Of Burgqpdyr Pre-
! SSiOas to that time You Mad been Ii Very good
health for you had plenty OF occupation and little
leisure for gluttony or s-bIbPingi your means
were limited, and during the holidays you took o
| suficiency Of pedestrian exercise. Really, in
those days never expected to have the pleasure
of forming your acquaintance. considered you
just the sort of fellow likely to become an orna-
ment to the Alpine club. But your estimsble
uncle, old Jones, the stoek-broker-bless you,
knew him well, indeed! many o time have chat
ted to him when he was roaring like an aggra-
waited bullock-your old Uncle Jones, say, died
and left y0a hlj rioaeS-s6 stS SG going to
| sleep, are your Well, call It rather unhsnd-
some treatment, considering that 1 have taken
| the pains to come here and bear you company.
4 slight touch of the pincers may, how
ever - ahaI alrs right again; you are as
lively as q snappihs-turtle Whereabouts Eas
To nh T remember Old ZONES Ieft you 6Iz
money, and you determined to take your ease.
No one can blame you for that. What's the use
offaggIng to make more when you are In pos
session of q cool twenty thousand dollars year,
and may indulge in q shooting box and hunters
But you could mover make up o respectable bag
on tho moors, and on horseback you were any
hing but Ducrow. You preferred living In
town, took chambers In the Albany, gave nice lit
tie recherche dinners and laid in that stock Of Bur-
gundy to which have alluded. 1t was Of fine
vintage, strong and heady, and made the blood cir
culate in the veins like lightning. Toit attribute
the honor of our first Introduction, hough port and
claret, not t. mention sundry kinds Of delicious
entremets, did undoubtedly contribute to lessen
the distance between US. Then you took to late
hours hot rooms and eearts, almost justly IN
eluded in the catalogue OF fashionable pleasures.
Pardon me for limiting in reply that you are both
rude and unreasonable. am here, as you we'll
know, in consequence Of your indiscretiOns.
Archbishop Sheldon not only. Fished for govt,
but protfered i've thousand dollars to any person
who would help him to It, and looking upon It as
the only remedy for the distress In bis head"
Those ovsrfed Englishmsn who wish to escape
the govt should learn something Of hygienlc liy-
ing. Plain food, with plenty Of useful employ
ment, and q mixture Of manual labor, would
prove remedial" to many an oVerfed and idle in
valid.