The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1874-08-14

I j -
remarkable feeling. / felt getting
: lighter! There was no doubt about
it; pleasant, mild exhilaration was
soon followed by an actual physical
loss of weight. 1 could hardly pnt
my feet on the ground as 1 walked
= lalong; l stamped as heavily as
could, but no mark was left en- the
grass; and in a few minutes more,
: just as l completed my sixth apple,
positively
t FLEW INTO THE AIRl
With a velocity to which that of
lightning is trivial and uninterest-
ing, I shot upward with an ever in
creasing impetus. Being totally un-
used to such things, shrieked with
terror: the immediate effect of
which was to materially increase my
+; speed. Then, like magic, all nv
fears vanished, and l felt a marvel
GUS sensation of dreamy pleasure
floating o'er my soul l laughed
aloud, and eagerly strove to GO fast
er.
A huge net was at once thrown
over me and l was dragged violently
to the ground.
Oh! the impotence of human
wishes in this marvellous place!
After al interval of oblivion, re-
covered my senses, wriggled out of
the net, and sat up. Bending over
me was a man scowling furiously,
with his arm upliited as if thirsting
for my life. And yet, strange to
relate, l felt no alarm. l smiled
pleasantly, and made some unim-
portant remark about the weather.
He fed as though death had been
after him, and 1 was once more
alone.
1 then found that a couple of enor-
nous weights had been tied to my
ankles, and could not get up. So
/ sat still.
Presently whole army ofmen ap-
proched, headed by him l had first
seen. They were all smiling most
afably, and seemed perfectly de-
lighted to see me. All at once the
leader drew a sort of horse pistol
from his belt, and pointed it straight |
at my head. was in a great fright;
brt, thinking to intimidate him,
l put On a fearful frown and shook |
my head fiercely. Back went the
pistol to its belt, and the mob re-
turned my scoWl with interest. I
was on the point of giving myself up
for lost, when, by peculiar sort of
intuition, for which 1 need hardly |
account, l comprehended that in this
wonderful country
FROWNS MEANT FRIENDSHIP, AND
SMILES SLAUGHTER.
So l continued TO look furious; and |
presently one of them handed me
a bowl of something remarkably |
like milk. 1 took it; and strange
TO say, it didn't disagree with the
apples. Warned by previous ex-
perience, l continued to frown hor-
ribly; and, in less time than it takes
to tell it, l was comfortably housed
in the residence of the Chief Magis-
trate.
The first thing I had to Go was to
learn the language.
In a short narrative of this de.
scription it is unnecessary for me to
state minutely hoa0 I did it; nor can
I, without firing the reader, go into
a discussion as to its origin, etymol-
ogy, ETC.; although these are ex-
ceedinglY curious, and interested me
much at the time. Therefore, when
1 represent any one as saying any
thing, in this history, it must be dis
tinctly understood that have trans
lated it from pure Gubmrhghese.
During my stay at the house of
the Chief Magistrate of Gubmuh, 1
had abundant opportunities of con-
templating the manners and customs {
of the people. My host was an agree
able, well educated man, whose lib
eral and enlightened mind prompted
him not to trouble himself about
my antecedents; and he took my
sudden appearance in the realms of
Gubmuh as an every day affair, re-
qniring neither comment or explain
alton. This saved me a vast amount
of troublesome crosse examination,
which would have been as tedious to
read as to relate. I found shat he
was what we should call a philoso- Il
pher; and spent all his spare time
in trying
TO ACCOUNT FOR" THINGS.
He was well versed in the history of
Gubmuh, which is handed down by
tradition from father to son, and ,
presents many features of interest.
Unlike the history of other coun-
tries, it contains not single battle.
The successive kings came to the ,
throne without any of those indie
cent struggle to be found in our his |
tory; aud universal peace has reign
ed ever since the first woman; for
the Gubmuhghese affirm that Adam |
was an afterthought.
My host was also learned in phys !
ical science! and told me that the
reason why everybody wore weights
around their ankles was that the .
center of gravity of Gubmuh was
situate a couple of million miles
a6oce the earth; and, taking me into
the back yard, he kindly showed it :
to me. 1t was a small black ball in
the center of the heavens, in the ex-
act place that with US the sun oc-
cupies at noon. By-the-by, there is /
no sun at Gubmuh, the place being
lighted on a highly ingenious prin-
ciple, hitherto undiscovered.
The center of gravity thus being
outside of the earth, my host assur- +
ed me it was easy to see why every !
thing grew topsyturyy in Gubmuh;
and, for further information on this r
interesting subject, 1 would refer the |
reader to the Edinburg Encyclop@- J
dia, Letter G, Art. Gravity.
The Government of Gubmuh is /
an absolute monarchy, and the king
is therefore not allowed to marry. |
He has unlimited authority over the !
whole population and never abuses
it. In fact, the politics of Gubmuh $
may be studied with great advant- !
age. s
1t is a curious fact, which may, 7
perhaps, be accounted for by the pc {
culiar position of the center of grav- :
in Gubmuh, everybody I