Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1874-05-16

Magruder's oldest boy came stagger-
ing through the door of the kitchen the
other day with his face as white as the
reputation of one of the early martyrs.
When his mother, i'll great alarm, asked
him what was the matter, he said he
thought he must have caught cold
somehow. But, as he proceeded to the
window the next moment and began to
permit his breakfast to come to light,
the explanation was not regarded as
perfectly satisfactory, and the old lady
instituted an investigation upon her
own account. In the first pocket that
she explored she discovered ii plug of
tobacco from which a mouthful had
been removed and then, as the cause OF
Henry's illness was evident, she pro
ceeded to hunt up Henrys father for
the purpose of getting him to remon-
strate with the culplit. When Magru-
der arrived he went to the closet and
selected favorite bed-slat, and, APP
preaching Henry, he sternly asked
What d you mean by chawln' ter
hacker? Haven't L told you often
enough to let that ornery stuff alone
I've half a mind to bang thunder out o
you. What d you mean, say
81 was only tryin' to scare off the
cannibals," blubbered Henry. 81 don't
want to chew tobacco. | only wanted
to keep EN- from eatin' me. I'll cross
my heart to it.
"Cannibals ! cannibals " exclaimed
Magruder, "what are you talkin'
about? Commere to me this minute
Harriet, the boys crazy; that ter
hackers shattered his intelleck. Tell
me what you mean, quick, or L II ST axe
the sawdust out o you"
81 saw it in the paper" said Henry,
"and L thought maybe they'd ketch
me some time and Id better get ready
for 'em. l was tryin' to chew SOS d
get soaked with tobacco. If you don't
believe me read that" and he fumbled
in his pockets until he produced the
following extract from health journal
cit is said of the cannibals that they
will not eat the flesh of a tobacco
chewer, because it is so highly charged
with the taste and odor Of tobacco"
When Magruder finished the para
graph he said: "Well, I'll let you of
this time, but, mind me, don't you
chaw that stuff agin. No cannibal is
goin to eat you any way, and, if any
of EN- come foolin' around here, you
call me and I'll smash EN- with this yel
bedslat."
Then Henry rose from his couch anG
went out to hunt for the plug of to
bacco which his mother had tosseC
through the window. 1t seems to me
that those health journals are demoral
izing things. Adeier.
THERE is nothing woman is more
deeply concerned in than her white
washing, or nothing she is so conceiteu
about as her own efforts in that line, il
it doesn't "streak." To keep it from
"streaking' is her highest ambition,
and when she has succeeded, every
woman within a mile is dragged in tc
see it, and her unfortunate husband is
forced to admire it until he hurts his
neck. Every woman has a natural de
sire to see her husband whitewash
When she has job of it on hand she
invariably proffers it to him with {
strong expression of doubt in his ability
to perform it, distrust he hastens tt
confirm with cheerful alacrity. Mans
antipathy to whitewashing arises mainl,
from having at some time or anothe
stepped on the handle of full brusl
reposing across pail and throw
about two quarts of the mixture ovel
himself and the furniture, besides tip
ping over the pail, and emptying it,
contents in his shoes.-DanJuy Net0s