National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1874-12-26
THE COMING WIFE.
HOW SHE HELPS HER HUSBAND UNDER
DIFFICULTIES-PATI AND SUN


HOW SHE HELPS HEX HUSBAND UNDEh
DIFFICULTIES-PATI AND SUM-
SHINE.
CFrom the Detroit Free Press.l
She's little bit ofs woman, all patience aud
sunshine, and I'd spoil the best silk hat that
money could buy for the privilege Of lending her
my umbrella in q rain storm.
She has got an old rhinoceros of husband. He
makes it q practice to come homo tight at IL
O'Clock every other night, and has for years, and
he can't remember that she ever gave him cross
word about It, When he falls into the hall she is
waiting to close the door and help him back to
the sitting-room, where q good FIRE awaits him.
She draws of his boots, unbuttons his collar,
helps him of with his coat, and all the time she
saying:
Poor Henry! How sorry am that you had
this attack Of vertigo! 1 am afraid that you will
be found dead by the roadside some night"
"Whazzer mean by verzhgo!" he growls; but
she helps him OF with his vest, and pleasantly
S'i'm SO glad you got home all right. I hope
the day will come when you can pass more OF
your time at home. II is dreadful how your busk
ness drives you"
VIVIAN bizhness-whaz yer talking 'bOut?" be
Poor one-how hot your head isr' she con-
tinues, and presently he breaks down and weeps
and exclafms:
"YeZ Zur-Zlc's q 'orse-Eearing Zelf outfkRsts
Next morning che never refers to the subject,
but pleasantly inquiries COW he slept, and If his
mind is clear. His boots may be missing, and he
yells out:
''Whar'n thunder's my bootsHn
Fright here, my deETl" she replies, and she
hands them out, all nicely blacked up.
II she wantsa dress, or hat, or clSuk, and he
yells out that household expenses are eating
him up, she never ''sGsses" him back, nor tells
him that she could have married Congressman,
nor declares that she will write to her mother,
and tell her just how 1t is.
"That's so, my des--times are haRd, =" she says,
and she gets up Just good o dinner as If he had
left her fifty dollars.
He may come tight at supper time, but she is
not shocked. She remarks thSt IL is an un-
expected pleasure to have him home so early,
and she pretends not to nOtice'hls stupid look.
He sees three chairs where there is but one, and
In trying to sit down he strikes the floor like the
fall Of derrick.
7"WaIzer jaw -zhst chair WY fOr9" he yells,
anu she replies:
stunbleE" and she helps him Up, and brings him
strong cup Of tea.
They do not keep servant, and when cold
weather came, she never thought Of planking
herself down in a chair opposite him, and say
ing:
old bafthead!"
No, ihe didn't resort ts any such base and
tyrannieal measures. When daylight comes she
slips out Of bed, makes two fres, warns his socks,
and then bending over him she whispers:
..AriEe, darling, and greet the festive mOrnr'
He's sick sometimes, and I've known that
woman to coax him for two straight hours to take
the Doctors medicine, turn over his pillow twenty
two times, keep q wet elOCh on his head, pare his
cOrns down, and then.vtsh she had a quail to
make him some soup, When he gets into a fight
down town, and comes homo with his ears bitten
up and his nose pointed TO the northeast, she In
quiTes how the horse happened to run away with
him, and she says SHEDS so thankful that he
wasn't killed. She has en- excuse for anything,
and she never admits that any one but herself Is
to blame about anything. LOT bless her-I hope
she'll slip into heaven and never be asked ques-
tion.