The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1874-12-31
NY Ride WITH BOB WILLIAMS.
BY TOM JOLLY.

and | don't believe he knows very much
about horses. ! think his education in
the matter of controlling the ''iery I'M
tanned steed'' is slightly defective. and
when he invites me to take the scat be-
side him in an open buggy, on a crowd
ed street, while spirited little bay is
impatiently waiting to run away with
us, will hesitate; will plead an en-
gagement. Twill decline. | have come
to this resolution after what occurred
the other day. | will relate it:
| was comfortably ensconsed In a
street-car which had just begun to
crawl from it's station. | had the corn
er seat. looked blandly out of the
window. felt at peace with all the
world, and when lady signaled the
car to stop did not see her enter, so
lost was in dreamy and pleasant re-
hections. But suddenly | was startled
by hearing my name called in stento-
rian tone close to my ear. 1t frighten-
cd me so that turned hastily around,
thereby driving nay elbow into a Ger
man gentleman eye, and kicking a
lady's knee opposite me.
GONE out, Tom - roared Bob.
II really beg your pardon, sir. Al
low me 70 offer my sincere apologies.
The German gentleman placed his hand
over one eye and giared at me with the
other.
Hurry up, jolly" shouted Bob.
"Madam, | assure you that this ac-
lion upon my part was unprecedented.
] certainly regret it as much as you
do
The lady said nothing. But | had
rather have her talk to me a week
than to look at me as she did.
"Come out, Tom come out, (" said
Bob again.
came out. | came out the wrong
way. / came out all over. picked
out smooth hard stone with mud Oh
it. | believe it was the hardest and
the muddiest stone on the street. | sat
down. | didn't want to sit down. But
there are times when man is not q
free moral agent. The people in the
ear laughed-especially the German
gentleman. He seemed to enjoy it very
much. got up slowly. l said:
bob Williams, what do you mean
by"
"Come here, old fellow. I'll give
you ride" said Bob. and he dragged
me into stable close by. The stable
men were Harvesting bright little
bay horse to a buggy.
Jump in," said Bob.
''Bot," said !, solmenly, ''are you
morally and absolutely certain that you
can urge this animal and conduct this
vehicle through the thickly populated
boulevards Of your native city with
safety to property and security to life
and limb Z"
''liey, what! Say that again. said
Bob.
Bob Williams" | repeated, ''can
you driver
"Drive," said Bob. "Drive Why,
man, can drive a six-horse team
through the side of y house any day.
Without giving me time to explain
the accomplishment of driving through
the side of house had nothing to do
with his ability to drive through the
streets. he pushed and hustled me into
the buggy. Then he followed, they
gave him the reins and away We went.
Bob" said l. "hold the horse.
You'll run down that awning.
1t was too late. The right hand hnbs
took out piece of an awaing post.
But we didn't stop. We didn't try.
Bob Williams didn't. | mean. He said ::
',Oh, let the horse have his way. He'll
cool down in little while -
Look outr' | fairly screamed,
you'll break that man S leg
We did not break his leg. 1t WASH t
our fault, though. We struck him
square. think he turned double
somersault and came down in gutter.
Perhaps he was hurt. | don't know.
We die not hold still to inquire. Bob
said:
beg your pardon, partner. l didn' t
90 10 do it.
Then the man got up and began to
throw stones. Then We went on.
There was q tall, slow countryman
right before us, deliberately crossing
the street at snail's pace. Bob and
gave vent to q simultaneous yell. He
locked up. He tried to hold the horse.
He. did not succeed. We looked back
and saw somebody picking him up. We
felt sorry but didn't stop to condole.
We didn't stop for anything. Wekept
right on. We ran over . dog next.
And then we nearly ran the
buggy shafts through street ear.
1t was getting exciting. tried
to argue with Bob. endeavored t.
show how reckless and foolish the
course was which We were pursuing.
dwelt upon the magnitude of the
oiTcnsc of fast driving. intimated .
furious resolve to pitch Bob o 1t of the
buggy unless he held up. | said-but
just here | said no more, for the buggy
wheels were caught in street-car
track. Bob tried to stop: he pulled
the left line too hard the buggy tried
10 run on one wheel. 1t did not sue
seed. II fell. The horse broke loose
and ran away, and Bob and l accumu-
lated ourselves in the gutter
A couple Of policemen kindly helped
US to our feet. They generously cs-
eorted US to their waiting-room, and
pressed US to stay. and when We de-
slined, actually locked US in-they
were so hoSpitabie. We paid them for
their trouble the next daN and went
slowly homcwards. We viii ray for
the horse and buggy ss soon as We