davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

Josh Billings says ii know
plenty ov people who are alIwuss red
dy to he'd a subskripshun for most
onnything, from whom yu kant kol-
lekt Diet to save yure life. This IL
illegitmate charity
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

--'rhejournalists will have their fun,
as witness the following from Cincin-
natl psper: "a favorte amusement
at Laramie is slashing off strangers
ears. One blow is enough except for
Louisville cars
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16
ENRYANT AND STRATTON
.MW SCHOOL,
BOS TON, NJ A SIS

Is " L y n NJ "A > -.
Commercial
COURSE OF STUDY, PREPARATORY TO BUSINESS.
The studies embraced in the plan of tho
School. and designed for those pupils who
have acquired good knowledge Of the Ele-
mentary English Branches, are
Book excepting,
(BY SINGLE AND DOUBLE ENThY)
Commercial Arithmetic,
Designed for pr0c'icat applications IN b"si"ess)
Commercial Writing,
with SPECIAL REFERENCE TO LEGTnILrry AND
RAPlprrYl
Commercial! Law.
(RELATISa TO NEGOTIABLE PAPER CONTROLS.
PARTNERSHIPS, ETo,D
all of which are especially necessary for and
adapted to Commercial purposes.
Those desiring to accomplish more than the
course included in the above studies may &C.
lect any or all of the following studies. viz -
READING, Writing, SPELLING, GRAMMAn and
ARITHMETIC, and pursue them as associate
studies or separately.
Pupils received at any time when there are
vacancies. Parents desiring children educated
in useful and practical manner are invited to
examine into the merits of this School.
Catalogue post free. Communications should
be addressed ,Ji EVa9!siugtNn street at
which place interviews may be had from A.
NJ. until 2. p. NJ. Closed SATURDAYS.
[1G25y1.l II L. IIIBBARD Principal.
N. 3. This School will be removed after Il
few weeks to its new building now in process
of completion, corner Essex and Washington
previous to the fire.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16
Josh Billings on "Dispepshe. :"

Dear Barker-I hav ben a practika
dispeptik for 27 yeers and 4 munths
and it wood hay ben mummy in m
pocket eff he'd ben born without an,
stummuck.
| hav prayed upwards ov one thous
and times to be on the inside like NJ
ostrich, or travelling colporter,
| hay seen Il travelin corporter who
Good eat az much as goose.
hey seen goose eat till they
coodnt stand up, and then set down
and eat sum, and then lay down and
eat sum, and then role over and eat
sum more.
hav tried livin ON filtered water
and goin bare footed for dispepshe and
that didn't hit the spot.
| have soked at water cure establish.
ments until waz so Timber that Good
not git myself bak agin inside Of my
Baldwin apparel.
bought saddle boss once, who
WIZ got up expressly to kure the dis
pepshe-he wuz warranted to kure the
dissoaze in 80 days or kill the boss.
He waz warranted to trOt harder
than any trip-hammer, pull wusser on
the bits, stumble safer down hill than
emmy other boss on the futstooI
| rode the boss till i wrz all NV a
jelly and then sold him bride and all
for siXty-eight dollars, and got sued
by the purchaser and he'd tn pay 90
dollars and sum sents damage be
cause the boss had the "Nimshys," n
disease knu nothing about.
The boss and fixins cost me $50
dollars in gold.
| | kontrakted for eleven kords of
hickory wood, kross grained, and az
full Nv wrinkles as an old kowS horn,
and sawl away 3 mmths on it, and
the pile seemed to gro bigger every
day.
finally gay away the saw, and
what wood thare wuz left, to save mi
life, and sat down discouraged, a
square victim to the everlasting dis
pepshe,
| hav lived at the sea side, and
gamboled in the saline food, until
was az picked az number one salt
makrel.
| hev dwet at Saratoga and taken
the water like mill race, and still
had the dispepshe.
| hay walked 2 miles before brel-
fast, and then EFT half Il slice NV dri
toast and half the yelk of pullet's eg,
and felt all the time az week as Il kit
ten that had Just KUN out NV fit.
| hay lade down NOR than 2 thous-
and times, and rolled over onct min
nit all night long, and got up in the
morning like korps, and there didn't
nothing seem to all me emmy where in
particular.
/ hay red a hull library on the STUN
muck and liver, and when | got thru,
knu CRATE deal less what WIZ the
matter oy me than when i begun.
| hav drank whiskee with roots in
it enuff to carry off emmy bridge or
saw-dam in the country.
I hav worked Oh a farm for mi Wit
ties and board, and dieted on fride
| )Ulk ullu II DItt ullllll WUL ~ tnlll
az the sermon ov a I day baptiss
preacher
I hav dun all these things and 10
thousand other things just az ridikilus,
and hay got the old dispepshe yet,
just az natral and az thik az the PIN
pies on four year old goose.
If you git good holt ov the dis
pepshe once you kant never looze it
entirely it will cum around once in a
while like a ghost, and if it don't
skarc you so much az it did once, and
make yu think yu are going to die to-
morrow. it will make yu feel just az
sorry. Yures,
JOSH BILLINs.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

Don't tell childyou will do any
thing for it unless you intend to keep
your promise. A strict observance of
this rule may save you the agony Of
seeing your child become liar.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16
MAKES THE WEAK STRONG,


1@G FrrHr'o': . yF'5p' u I T., 90 =
en- 'oo'!ft'o" 81 r'n !,r ~ ta ~
iT"@, a. so coii!p'te'' H9 ~ n''uo
IRE c}''T1cter u WlS "ssiMeiSe ,,, ~
f| |!;g"tp,5S "'t'' az. 1's'tI ;,,,1t1as
Csoo" C1 t tn, I Sa"st,,us.
!, ~ t"c'cI H "'I ,,Ii; mIS;;.S;tsg
&; - '''H f V' ,ha n,a sS,af'- Icy,
AOtH'' 1:oN u! ,1'G ~ y'y :, s;,,' os,.
dy T0ninG ';p, iHgiyordttng 0n1
Eitdli@jn0 the ,Systcms 1he en-
1'icicG ant rjt0ti2e0 btOO0 per-
?0c0tes cUeyy lN1'j CT tie body,
~ep0iring da'Hagcs 0,ed ac0ste,
scurchhr0 oHt morbid secre-
tons. GMd icGvinJ nothing for
disease 10 fccN WpOn.
This Is he secret Of The Wo1a-
dc,JM aUcccss eff this 1cmcdy IN
curing dyspepsia L'cr COM"
p!aint' Dropsy' CHROME Diar-
fi'|a, HoilS' ~ cF'o"s 4AiAcctioiis'
I,'' l'i - "1 lit1 t;ono, v,;~or
,>:.aao,, 20 mo r.;l,o,,e o,I
E,1odaor 1ro,,oyo Co,,>Io;rtc
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

The Indians have invented new
way of scalping victims, so that now
a bald-headed man stands no more
show than any one else. This is as it
should be.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

Maryland girls won't marry in the
full of the moon, believing tina; they
would have il-luck through lite but q
Vermont girl woulden't let forty fnIl
moons stop her ten seconds.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16
THE sun.
WEEKLY. SEMI-WEEKLY. & DAILY.

THE WEEKLY sun is too widely known
20 require any extended recommendation bul
the reasons which have already given it fifty
thousand subscribers; and which will. we
| hope, give il many thousands more, are brief
ly as follows -
1t is a frst-rate newspaper. All the news
of the day will be found in it, condensed
when unmportant, at full length when OF
moment. and always presented in clear,
ineligible, and interesting manner
1t is Il first rate family family paper, full OF
entertaining and instructive reading of every
kind, but containing nothing that can offend
the most delicate and scrupulouS taste.
1t is Il first rate story paper. The best tales
and iomanccs of current literature are care.
fully selected AID legiby printed in its pages
1t is Il tirst-rate agricultural paper. The
most fresh and instructive articles on agricu-
tural topics regularly appear in this depart
ment.
1t is an indepenlci political PAPER, be-
longing to no party aud wearing no collar
1t fights for principle, and for the election of
the best men to office. II especially devotes
its energies TO the exposure of the great cor
ruptionS that nov weaken and disgrace our
country, and threaten to undermine republi-
can institutions altogether. 1t has no fear of
knaves, and asks no iuvors from their sup
pO:ters.
1t reports the fashions for the ladies and
the markets to' the men, especially the cattle
markets, to which it pays particular attention.
Finally, it is the cheapest paper published.
One dollar year will secure it for any sub
scribcr. 1t is not necessary to get mp Il club
in order to have THE WEEKLY SUN at this
rate. Any one who sends u single dollar will
get the paper for year.
We have no travelling agents
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

1t is stated that in New York
there are fifteen preachers whose sala-
ries average $4,000 per annum.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

TEE WEEKLY SUN.-Eight pages,
fihy-six columns. Orly $500 year. Nc
discounty from tnis rate.
THE SEMI-WEEkLY SUN.--Some size
as the Daily Sun. $500 year. A discount
of 20 per cent. to clubS of 10 or over.
The DAILY SUN.-A large iour-p page
newspaper OF twenty Eight columns. Daily
circulation over i2O,0OD. All the news fol
, cents Subscription price 30 cts. Il month
or $500 year. To clubs OF 10 or over, q
discount OF 20 per cent.
Address "1HE SUM-" New York City.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

Delightful "Patrons of Husband
ry'-Female match.makers.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

1873 WINTER ARRANGEMENT 1873.
On and after Dec. s, 1873, Passen'
" ger Train will run us follows:
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1874-04-16

TTvIoAAEsaE SECRECY iNz CERTAIN RELIEF.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
A Strange Clock.

A strange clock ia said to have once
belonged to Hindoo prince. In from
of the clocks disk was gong swung
upon poles, and near it was pile of ar.
tifcial human limbs. The pile was made
up OF the full number Of parts necessa.
ny to constitute twelve perfect bodies
but all lay heaped together in apparen,
confusion. When the hands of the
clock indicated the hour of one, out
from the pile crawled just the humble,
Of parts needed TO form the frame OF
ono man, part coming to part with
quick click; and, when completed, the
figure sprang up, seized mallet, and
walking up to the gong struck one
blow. This done, he returned to the
pile and fell to pieces again. When two
O'clock came, two men arose and did
likewise; and at the hour of noon and
midnight the entire heap sprang up, and
marching TO the gong, struck, one after
the other, his blow, making twelve in
NIL; then returning, fell to pieces as be-
fore,
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
1t Wasn't n Joke.

Max Adler: | happened to call al
Magruder's the other morning OH my
way down town. AS ! know them
well, l entered tho side door without
knocking. ! was shocked to find Mr..
Magruder PROSTATE on the floor, while
Mrs Magrudcr sat OH his chest and
rumblng among his hair; she bumped
his head on the boards, and scolded him
vigorously. They arose, when came
in, and Magruder, as he wiped the blood
from his nose, tried to pretend that it
was only Joke but Mrs Magruder in
terrnptod him.
Joke? Joke? ! should think not /!
l was giving him dressing down. He
wants to have family prayers before
breakfast and / was determined to have
them afterward, and as he threw the
Bible at me, aud hit Mary Jane with the
hymn book, / soused down on him. III
can't rule this house, III know the rea-
son why. Pick up them Scriptures and
have prayers. You hear mo Magruder !?
It's more trouble regulatin' fhe piety of
this family than runin' sawmill Mary
Jane, give your pa that hymn book
i left before the exercises began.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
Meat in Europe.

The citizens Of Edinburg and Paris
have become simultaneously alarmed
at the prices Of bread and meat and are
indignant at the supposed inordinate
profits OF bakers and butchers. Accord
ingto tho Paris papers, "tho public cry is
loud and menancing," which must DO an
anxious moment for those tradesmen
who have read how their predecessors
were handled In the French Revolution.
The butchers, especially, are denounced
for their rapacity, since the price OF
oxen has fallen considerably of late,
while scarcely any abatement has been
made in the price Of meat. In Scotland
the same complaint is raised in the col.
umns Of the Edinburg press. Bakers
and butchers are charged with unjus,i-
fable extoriion, and protection demand.
ed. In view Of the excessive price of
meat, tho importation of Australian
beef Is earnestly advocated.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
The Poison of the OIeander.

We clip the following from the House
hold: Permit me to enquire of your
readers, if they possess oleander plants.
If 80 my advice is to destroy them "root
and branch" Qho surest way is to burn
them,) which may be thought uuwel-
come advice, but when the following
true incident is read, they may think
otherwise:
A gentleman ofour place, after trim
ming of his oleander this winter, threw
the leaves ont on the sidewalk, thinking
no harm. Soon after, valuable horse
was hitchod near by, and ate them, no
doubt rolishing tho green, undried
leaves in tho depth of winter, but he
died from the effects oft before the next
morning.
Since this casualty they are being de-
stroyed In this vicinity, though some are
10th TO part with them, and allow them
TO stand in room where small children
are running about, not knowing that
the drop that is left, where leatis bro
of, Gas have been told,) is sufficient to
cause the death Of q person if taken
into tho stomach.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
aggregating
So, 5 @ 600


Will be distributed by lot among the ticket
holders.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
PRICE OF TICKETS.

Whole ticKets SoOVU; HaiVes S2o'oVi aenths
or each coupon $500; Eleven Whole Tickets
for $4,000; 221z Tickets for 100000.
Persons wishing TO invest, should ordel
promptly, either from the home Office, or ouI
local Agents.
Liberal commissions will be allowed to sat.
isfact0ry agents.
Circulars containing full particulars fur.
nished on application.
THO. T.. BRAMLETTE, Agent and Manager,
Public Library Building, Louisville, Ky
Aug. Z, lS74-tnoy30-3i9
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
'rmELARG EST STOCK PRINTS

A ND DRESS GOODS EVER BROUGHT
N TO this market, at WILLIAMS a cos.
Cantrops \ Roads, May I, '7a.336
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
Rolling Mills.

The list Of rolling mills in the United
States, including the Pacific coast, re-
Gently issued by the Iron and Steel AS.
ISOLATION, and which gives the capacity
of the respective mills, reveals the fact
that during the years 1863 and 1873, in.
elusive, the capacity Of rolling mills for
iron was increased by the erection OF
absolutely new mills over one million
.ona
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
Crow Livery Stable.

MRS. CROW HAS AS GOOD SADDLE
wi and Buggy Horses ~ can be found In tho
place, Charges made 20 suit customers. Par
ties desiring conveyance Will please call NJ
the stable before going elscw here. Special
rates to passengers for the Springs.
Athens, Tenn, july 3, 1S74.tf-8b
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
"IIyIBERGER.-


On tree there sat crow,
In his bill chunk OF cheese;
On the ground fox, below,
Said, "Some music il you please.
You are beautiful OF wing,
And ] bet that you can sing"
Cheerod by flattery, the crow
Sang, and dropped the cheese below,
Then the cunning fox did freeze
TO the fallen chunk Of cheese;
And he calmly lugged 1t of,
And he scoficd the song with scoif.
MORAL.
When they pat you on the back,
When they say that you're the one;
When they say they're on the track,
"And have been obliged to run;"
When their compliments denote
They are going for your vote,
You can do just as you please,
But--you'd better watch your cheese.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
EAST TENNESSEE WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY
Athens, Tennessee.
REV. JAMES A. DEAN, d. D., Presiden

REV. JAMES A. DEAN, d. D., President
THE NEXT TERN WILL COMMENCE
l. on Tuesday, September LIST, and close
January 18th. The Faculty hayingbee en-.
larged, all the Departments will haveamplo In.
strnclion, and the efficiency Of the school will
be In all respects increased. Dress must be sim.
pie and inexpensive. No minor will DO per.
mittcd to contract debts without written per.
mission from the parents. Books and statiohe.
ry can be obtained at the College, at reduced
prices. Glasses will be organized the first
day. No reduction for absence the first or last
three weeks of the Term, aud none permitted
to leave before the close OF the Term, without
written request from the parents. Board 81
per week. Tuition from $40 to $25--according
TO advancement. Students can board them
selves at small cost. Catalogues free.
Address J. $. MATTHEWS, Esq, Secretary,
or Rev. NJ. NJ. CALLEN, Financial Agent.
June 20, lSTl-tf-3i3
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
M r. BuRNHAM,S
ORIGINAL ATTACHMENT.
State Of Tennessee, McMinn County.

j. II. Maglll W.. w. +. Lane.
IN this cause II appears by affidavit, that the
i defendant W. II. Lsne IL justly indebted
to the plaintiff, and that he II n nonresident
Of the State Of Tennessee, 80 that the ordinary
process Of law cannot be served upon him
and an Attachment having been levied upon
his property, aud made returnable before me,
II Is therefore ordered that publication be
made In the Athens Post, a newspaper pub
lished in the town OF Athens, Tennessee, for
four successive weeks, commanding the said
". Y. Lane to appear before me, at my Office
in the 9th civil district, McMinn county, Ten.
ncssee, on the 10th day OF December, 1874. and
make dcfcnce 20 said suit, or II Will be pro-
ceeded with ex parte. r. i. SHERMAN, j. p.
Nov. 20, 1S74-It.prs fee 81 ,00-3Oi
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1874-11-27
Produce Wanted.

WILLIAMS q co. WANT TWO CAR
w loads Dried Apples and Peaches, also,
800 pounds good fresh Butter. 1000 dozen Eggs.
5000 pounds Cotton Rags. 800 pounds good
new Feathers, for which the highest market
price will be paid.
Cantrcl's X Roads, Sept. IL. isIi.tf-85i
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-06-04
By Green G Wise,

TResl Estate Agents and Auctioneers.
SALE OF FALU A
" BILE REAL ESTATE-By virtue Of a de-
cree of the Circuit Court of Alexandria county,
Va, rendered at November term 1868, in the
suit of The Potomac Building Association, Ptf.,
vs.. Jesse Woodward and others, defendants, the
undersigned, commissioner. therein named, Will
proceed to sell, by public auction, on FRIDAY, i,
July Sd, 1874, at II o'clock m, in front of tho
Mansion House Hotel, in the city Of A!exandris,
the following described REAL ESTATE, in
the city Of Alexandria.
No. w. B. Nails TRACT OF LAND, in
Fairfax county, containing about Is acres being
tho land of which Francis Hamersey died sclz-
ed, and which was conveyed to VIM. Is. Nails
by VIM. Hamersley and James Hamcrslcy with
Eliza, his wife, by decd dated the lIth OF July
1855. lying about 81 mil from the city OF Alex
andria on the Telegraph road
No. MARY 0. Sullivans LOT, on the south
side of Franklin street, at the middle Of square,
between Water and Fairfax, 25 feet by ~ 1ect
deep-vacant lot.
No 3-Chas B. Shrlcy's one undivided a.
half of a TWO STORY FRAME Dwell Es!i
LING and LOT, on the east side of Washington
street, between King and Prince, next to the
Church, % #. by l23 it. in deep, beginning l36
feet inches south of King.
A more particular description Of the property
will be given on the day of sale.
Terms: Onc-tenth OF the purchase money to
be paid in cash; the residue in three equal IN
stalments Of l2 and Is months; tho bonds OF
the purchaser, with good security, and bearin 6
interest, to be taken for the deferred payments,
and the title TO be retained until they are paid.
Conveyancing st the expense ol the purchaser.
ie PTS G. w. WATTLES, Comm'r.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-06-04

to say, paueled, and the chimney piece was
supported on two columns, and enriched with
busts Of Seneca and Aristotle. The inscription
was 10 golden letters: Deus primum, honos
proXime.
Although, like the old custom Of placing
legends over doorways, the fashion OF making
our mantel-pieces sermonize is no longer 10
vogue, it was not abruptly discontinued. II
fingered down to the days Of the celebrated
DR.. Kitchener, who inscribed upon the CHM
ney-piece of his dining room an lntlmation TO e,
his quests: cat seven, come; at eleven, 60, :,
much to the delight of one of them, who could
not resist the fun of entirely altering the pur'
Dor, of it by adding the little word 1t 10 tue
sober sentence. At Preston Hall, in Northum'
bcrlaud, there is comparatively modern IN
scription over mantel- piece. 1t prooaoly
dates from the last century. The hrst three
lines are convex, aud last two concaVe, Whue
the word therefore is placed in central po-
sition:
Spend the day WELL and you will rejoice at
night.
No good man can be miserable, nor bad man
Whether rich OF poor.
Therefore,
May you your days in peace and wisdom
spend, ,,
That endless peace may crown your latter end
Within few miles of this seat. nearer the
brown rocky coast, stands Craster Hall, where
the same legend occurs. or did occur, IN SIM
liar position.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1874-06-04

CTEAM FLOUR MILL FOR LEASE
- SITUATED ON THE POTOMAC RlV-
Err, ,.AT ALEXANDRIA,.
This property has recently undergone the most
thorough repairs, and been arranged for the
manufacture of the highest grades of flour,
It contains four run of Burrs, with RubDers
Shutters, Bran busters and the most improved
Boiling Cloths, Of sufficient capacity to manu-
tacturo two hnnured barrels of -four day.
The Engines and Boilers will afford power Tor
all requirements of the Mill.
Having an extensive wharf on the one side
and connecting track with all the various rail-
roads leading into the city on the other, grain
and -four can be handled at the lowest figures
Whom desirable, the facilities afforded by the
numerous railroads leading from the West and
Southwest will enable wheat from those sections
to be laid down in Alexandria without break
of bulk at the lowest competing rates.
Thefavorite valley and "Piedmont wheat,
which is so much sought after by millers in 9th.
or cities for the manufacture of choice brands OF
flour, is received at this point in large quantities
direct from the farmers
ms- Attention is particularly called to the fact
that coal and coopersge-two important items
are as cheap here AS at any point on the seaooard
and the nesrness to all the Eastern markets and
the seat of Government make this one of tho best
locations in the country.
Application for lease can DO made either by
letter or in person to
GREEN s. WISE, Real Estate Agents,
nv 26-eolm Alexandria, Va