Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1874-08-06
M,scellaneous.

A bad habit to get lnSo-a coa'
that is not paid for.
First law of gravity-neyer laugh
at your own jokes.
Colorado calls for more women. 1t
has scarcely single one.
The girls of an Illinois seminary
amuse themselves by splitting at
mark.
A St. Louis paper had two-col-
umn account of hotel of that city.
The bedbugs, after reading it over
carefully, held meeting and de-
nounced the paper for not mentioning
them.
An old clergyman, spying a boy
creeping through fence exclaimed:
"What! crawling through a fence!
Pigs do that" "Yes,' retorted the
boy, "and old hogs go along the
street"
There is nothing more calculated
to weaken a boys moral character
than to get his fishing-hook fastened
on rubbish in the river.
The Newburyport Herald knows a
bachelor who says he always looks to
the hymenial department of that pa
per for the news of the weak.
A Detroit father keeps his boy in
nights by vanishing a chair and sit
ting him down. It's novel plan,
but awful tough on the trowsers.
What kind of sweetmeats were in
the ark? Preserved pairs.
Jones claims to be Granger be-
cause he raises corns and is the owner
of many achers.
If you are in doubt as to where to
spend your vacation, try Manhanseta-
hacusawommock.
A man in Muhlenburg county, KY,
forty y-seven years old, is living with
his sixth wife. He buried two wives
and one child in six weeks.
"It's forty years, my old friend
John, since we were boys together" :"
'Is it? Well don't speak so loud
there's that young widow in the next
room"
"He is so large" said Marseillaise,
speaking of big fellow, $50 large
that when he happens to have cold
feet, it takes fortnight for the cold
to show itself in his head"
About millions worth of one and
two franc pieces will be coined in
Switzerland this year. The reverse
will be unchanged for the diverse of
the new coins, standing Helvetia,
with lance and shield, surrounded
with twenty-five stars, has been pro-
posed.
whats your businessF" said a
magistrate of a police court, to pris-
Oner. I'm an observationist, your
worship" "An observationist! what
is that?" "One who looks around in
the day time to see what he can steal
at night, if it pleases your worship"
The Advertiser Republican of Sa-
vannah, Ga, states for a fact that a
trade in rattlesnakes and moccasins
is springing up in that city. The
colored people catch the reptiles alive
and sell them for from fifty cents to
a dollar each to dealers who in turn
ship them to Europe.
After the prosecuting attorney had
heaped vituperation upon the poor
prisoner without counsel, the Judge
asked him if he had anything to say
for himself. "Your honor replied
the prisoner, 81 ask for a postpone
ment for eighteen days, in order that
l may find blackguard to answer
that one there"
The proverb that "God helps those
who help themselves" was well para
phrased by little fellow who tum-
bled into a fountain and was nearly
drowned. Pale and dripping he was
put to bed, and when his mother re-
quested the young man to thank God
for saving him, Young America ans
wered, 81 spose God did save me,
but then 1 held on to the gwass,
too"
A far-sighted fellow at Bristol,
Eng, wrote to his fiance: 81 wish,
my darling, that you would not write
me such long letters. If you were to
bring an action for breach of promise
against me, the lawyers would copy
the correspondence between us and
charge fourpence for every folio of
seventy-two words. The shorter the
letters, the more we save from the law
yers."
Two years ago the Turkish govern
ment wanted to economise in its sal
ary list and not reduce the salaries;
so it declared, with pleasant inno-
cence of the result, that year should
consist of fifteen months, and the
pay for a year be for that period; and
so it would have paid for five years
with four years salary. Now it is
discovered that this plan was inven-
ted by Louis XIV, who paid his pen
sions that way.
A:boy named O'Brien was in the
Police Court in San Francisco recent
ly charged with assault and battery.
After he had given his testimony, and
had been cross-examined, the Judge
asked him few questions, to which
he made reply, as follows: ''How old
are youT' Eighteen, SIR" "You
know the witness who preceded your"
"Yes, sir; he's my brother" "How
old is he?" Eighteen, sir" "Are
you twins?" 'No, sir; not exactly"
'How does it happen that you are
both eighteen if you are not twins?'
"Why, sir, l was born about fifteen
days after my brother" "Are you
quite sure of that?' "Yes, sir; very
sure" "That will do"
The Detroit Free Press relates that
a man named Wilton, GA years of age,
from Fayette, O., and the father of
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