The Grange advance., 1874-04-08

"reminiscences Of se4taesn R.l III;
qooDoos a
BY H. H. B,


In the autumn Of. 1850 i ia attssndod !.
Methodist camp p-meeting IL the interior
Of Georgia, and heard sermon which T
have never been able to forget Or de.
scribe. At the earnest solicitation Of
friends, have attempted several times
to write it. But it cannot be put on
paper. The main force Of it was in the
snufAiug aud splitting and groaning and
hound-after-a-fo1 sort of yelp and
whine, to which no pen can do Justice.
It must be tntoned to be appreciated.
I have preached it a thousand times for
the amusement of friends, and have
been satisfied with my effort I have
used it as remedial agent in exorcis-
ing the demons of hypochondria, and
have never failed to send them down
q steep place into the sea-" or some-
where else, to the great relief of the
sufferer.
The speaker had just been licensed
and it was his first sermon. In person
he was small, bullet headed, Of fair,
sandy complexion, and his countenance
was indicative Of sincerity and honesty.
His remarks evinced great reverence
for the works of God as manifested in
zoology and natural history, and "was
taking up the Bible in regular order
for the first time in his life.' He had
gotten as far as the history of Noah,
the Ark, the Flood, etc. Besides,
Just before his conversion he had been
reading Goldsmith's Animated Nater,'
and the two together by the aid and
assistance Of the Spirit, had led him in
to powerful train Of thinking as he
stood at his workbench day in and day
out"
But whatever his sermon may have
been, it was his own. The text was
"As it was in the days of Noah, SO
shall the coming Of the Son Of Man be-"
After commenting upon that portion of
Genesis descriptive of the flood, he
g warmed up" suddenly, and broke out
in the following strains:
Yes, my brethren, the heavens of
the windows was opened-ah, and the
floods Of the great deep kivered the
waters-ah, and there was Shem, and
there Ham, and there Japheth-ah. all
a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
And there was the elephant.ah,
that great animal-ah, of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Ma
ter.-ah what is as big as house.ah,
and his bones as big as tree-ah, depend
ing somewhat on the size of the tree-ah,
ALL a.gwine into the Ark-ah. And the
heavens of the windows was opened-ah
and the floods of the Great deep Xiv
cred the waters-ah, and there was Shem,
and there was Ham, and there was Ja-
pheth -ah, all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the hippotamus. ah,
that great animal-ah of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Ma
ter-ah what has a great horn-ah a
sticking right straigh up out of his
toreward-ah six feet long, more or less
ah, depending somewhat on the length
Of it-ah, all a-gwine into the Ark.ah.
And there was a girafe-ah, nv
brethren, that ill-contrived reptile Of
which Goldsmith describes in his Ami
mated Mater '-ah whose forelegs is twen-
ty'6ve feet long-ah, more or less-ah, de-
pending somewhat on the length of EN-
ah and neck so long he can eat hay off
the top Of a barn ah, depending somewhat
on the hithe Of the barn-ah, all
a-gwine into the Ark-ah. And the
heavens of the windows was opened-ah,
and the floods of the great deep kivered
the waters-ah and there was Ham,
and there was Shem, and there was Ja-
pheth-ah, all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
'And there was the zebra, my breth-
eren-ah, that beautiful animal of
which Goldsmith describes in his Ami
mated ater'-ah, what has three hun.
dred stripes a-runnin' right straight
around his body, y,ah, more or less, de-
pending somewhat on the number of
strlpes-ah, and nary two stripes alike-ah,
all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the anaconder-ah,
that great sarpint of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Ma
ter'-ah, what could swallow six oxens
at a meai-ah, provided that his appetite
don't call for less-ah, all a.gwine into
the Ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows was opened-ah, and the foods
Of the great deep kivered the waters-ah.
and there was Shem, and there was
Ham, and there was Japheth all, all
a-gwine into the Ark.ah.