, 1874-11-29
fiU.}i0R.

flUK0R.
4 "put-up-iob Bunker Hill Monument.
It's s1 ance- migration Of les-sleop-ualking.
=" Slipped his grip" is California for dvlng.
The Oldest Western settler-The evening
sun.
For the present, says the Rochester Demo-
crat' vii correspondents please write On neither
aide OF the aheet ?
III Carlos we're to be as epigrammatic as
Cnsar. his last dispatch would read: IL came,
A Troy Alderman remarked: "Mr. presi-
dent, hare the floor. and I 1nainta1n-" Here
an ink-staud punctuatel him in the mouth.
An Eastern paper intimates that Treasurer
Spinner acquired his habit Of profanity while
learning to read bis Own writing.
He was nice boy. and lived in West
Chester, "a. Ho took tho bull by the horns, n
but the bnii killed him-he did; boy gored.-
Cincinnati Times.
An inebr1ate man. walking along the street,
REGARDED the moon with sovereign contempt.
"You needn't feel so proud,' ho said, you
are full only once month. and I em every
night"
"A gentleman was examining IN umbrella,
and commented upon it's fine quality. Yes"
|. SAID person present, "he fancies everything
he sees" And" added third party, sis in
clned to seize everything he fancles."
Probably no man ever SO gladly consented
to hare his teeth taken out as that Glens Falla
man from whose stomach the surgeons removed
swallowed q year ago.
|, The London ADVERTISER says that the subject
of christening ships with bottles OF wine is about
to be taken up BY tho temperance people, who
assert that the rolling Of vessels at sea III manly
caused thereby.
The Watseka Times recently spoke Of re-
spected citizen as Que OF the 'm,in stays " OF
the place. The intelligent compositor sent it
out that he was ous OF the main stasa OF the
place.
You've soued the wind, and now you reap
the whirlvlnd," said the school~teacher. as he
brought his cane dovn in a hurry Gu the back Of
a rebellious boy. Eyes, aod it's regular hurry
cane. too," sobbed tue younsster, between the
wlacks.
a gentleman at public table, who had e1-
ercised his jaws for some fifteen minutes upon
small morsel OF steak, turned to ueighbor and
"Why? ?" responded his friend because" re-
piled the other, " it would have made such good
working animal"
Abolition OF second-c1ass carriages. Ars
Were any seconded carriages ep this tbs liuo
two frst-class tickets, and two third" "Be8
pardon, my Lord; but is ME and Mrs. Parker
expected to 20 tbird-class7 "Graclous heavens!
No, Rogers; not for the world! The thlrd-class
tickets are for nv lady and me !"-Punch.
Singular to relate, an old sausage grinder.
pair Of hinges cracked gr1diron, and = half
dozen pieces Of acrap-iron were found in the
centre OF cotton bale at Macon, Ga, the other
QAY. Inc AQcle5 aI8auppo5eQ 10 nave aCCld6Ut-
ally dropped out OF the se-t~pocket Of soma d2r-
key while engaged in packing ths bale
"A seedy-looking chap having on straw hat
and very thin coat, was meande1ipg tho etreets
yesterday, and whenever he saw q bene volent-
looking face. he approached the owner and re-
marked in q smooth tone: Ny dear sir, cir
cunlstances over which have no control compel
ma to request the loan OF 10 cents for about half
an hour" The loans be effected would not buy
hnir-pin.-DefroA Free f'ress.
a soupg lad selling papers around the City
Hail, yesterday, had such pair OF black feet on
him that they att1 acted general notice. 'Sakes
alive! but why don't you wash those hoofs ?" in
auired gentleman. ''Wash those boots ="
echoed the boy, looking down On them; do you
suppose fellow can keep his feet c1enn aud
support his mother, too ?"-Bro0ktya Argus. .
On the Pacific slope the red man has sp-
naara1 az a etock, k,snccn]ator 4 tall and stately
Pute walked into q bankinz-office in Austin,
New. the other dag, mad. approaching the desk
on which the report Of the San Francisco stock
is kept, asked tie clerk, 81 How is it this morn
ing ?" 81 Down." was the reply. ''Down aSain?"
exclaimed the savage, "hcap dami"
The other day bow about years old called
at house 10 tie northern part Of the city aud
asked the lady for 10 cense, saying be was ths
her purse and inquired: How old IL your
mother2" " She's 10 years old" promptly re-
Piled the lad. and he wondered What made the
lady hustle him out without giving him any
noney.-DetTot fFes Press
A North street man ueat OF, Saturday
noon. for Latf.day OF fishing. When he re-
tutned he had walked 13 miles, lost SIS watch,
s9rained his thumb spoiled an s1l pair OF pants
by eittlug down on bis luncheon, aud caught 4
4-pound mud-turtle. He got back IN tune to
heln The ioc,or cut from his oldest bows foot one
nf the sayaral fyh-hooEs lie had left at home.
He took curyory view OF the situation, and
went to bed.-Danbu,y Ner,
"A ttnuor-dealer up in Coos County, n H.,
.;1aa n@o The hariei came wns t.nned