Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1874-04-23
An AMERICAN-FRENCH DUEL.

& Freuchman Of fashion does not much
care to reach the age of thirty without
lGving made his proofs" that is, with
ast having fought somebody. If he be Of
4. taIn ger naturally amiable, he will best
..aRsuIt his own interests by getting three
s[yreis comfortably over before his twenty
1if{a year; then he can practice amiabilitY
zszE die rest of his days without being open
Ct anisconsHuctiOn. OF course, in the
-:ase Of Olympian young gentlemen like
size Duo de Sangbleu this rule suffers eX
cc8tion, for in the first place Duke is
.Es5eryWhere treated with the Difference he
deserves, and, in the second place, should
n not be so treated, he may resent the
l-aG symptoms of impertinenCe with a
.ca}Q stare, which will freeze the insulter's
4aREue to his palate, recalling him to a
ssZlse OF social differences. In fact, ii a
Duke has duel it is one of his own
EE0gsing-e indeed, he patrOnizes
1a2 turf, in which event he will have tenn
gGEariiY exchanged his cOrOnet for a
snGEeY cap, and must bear the rubs OF
Eo1gchamps and Chantilly as he finds
Gltezn.
But take The case of a man like III.
ESfsfache. who has nothing Olympian
sge5t uroduce all the effect desired. 1t is
zzat enough that people should be able to
sav in answer to the inquiry, Who is NJ.
ESTstac he" NJ PistaChe is that young
azan VITA d black head and buff gloves
he cts on the committee for encouraging
zEacdc0cks, and leads cOtillOn now and
&acn with rare spirit" The people
slauId BE able to add, "And NJ. Pistache
is q plucky fellow, too, who fought Mon
Eleur A. with foils and Monsieur B. with
7ist0ls, both about nothing. for he is a
terrible character when the mustard
mounts 70 his nose" This sort of GER
.i6cate raises a man in the worlds es-
t9SH; and, failing it, M. Pistache might
risk being called see bon Pistache,''
which would be intolerable. For lie bon
nistacheH would mean the Pistache of an
sGEging turn, like the dog who let his
'2zu be tr9dden on: You may slap him
.ElE tie back, send him to Rome with a
ls.egraEn on All Fools Day, and joke
'Elth him about his grandmother
4szcetiae not 90 be endured a moment by
s3ay Erenchman careful as to appearances
besides, duuiiGg has this advantage, that
EGtI you have pinked few contempt
aries Il IS not decent to proclaim your
e3pgBlOn that dueling is a foolish custom
E1-3&k and absurd.
Now III. Pistache when he came tc
EaaEIs last December for the winter season
5asd not yet made his proofs, and was in
WGrdIy Inundated at it. Was it that his
Sweetness Of disposition had prevented
AiEl from quaTeling without a reason
sGE that he lacked that eminently social
@Ct Of detecting Ofienses where none are
-geaBt2 Anyhow, he had kept at peace
ESsh the world, and, as a result, saw that
i -gpuE9ant adjective of bon" looming
Qp0n him with perceptible speed. Yet
Eg@ could not call man out for slapptng
kim on the back, nor force people to say
,Sisagreeable things which must be washed
Ext in blood. His mood was to be smile
al and mankind paid back his smiles
SO scBeerfuily in the same coin that short
ST going into his club, catching up the
2as Of some testy member and putting it
EGsiteiy but firmly into the fireplace, he
Saw no method whatever of getting up an
affair Of honor. However, when a man
elnows that he must pay d subscription at
s2E1e time, he naturally makes his az
EaAgements-. for paying conveniently; ana
MI. 2istache, who knew that his tribute of
a&c0d could not be STAYED off eternally,
A2d Gctually been taking a series of
Es-oCious fencing lessons with a view to
Z1aedng his call with intrepidity so soon
"a ii should arise, when that highly-un-
pleasant SoutGo trial occurred. A term
81 solitary confinement in the prison of
Meas with cOcoa-nut Matchmaking for his
&aiiy occupation was not the kind of
@EUit which he wished his duel to yield,
70 that on the whole this sad affair
sEre2tked his brow in melancholy. Note
.a&t If NJ. Pistache had been truly bent
0a drawing his sword, the fear of penal
ties need not have deferred him an hour.
Nothing is easier than for principals and
seconds to pledge their words to
secrecy, and under such conditions
d 2urderous combat can be fought
EXIT pleasantly in a sequestered spot be
~Tsad eye and ear shot of justice-Indeed,
syych dueIs are fought every week in
france by men who mean business.
8Ut then, M. Pistache did not mean
5Usiness in the tragical sense of that
<szr2l. What he wanted was gallant, un-
EsEdly duel of the traditional sort, with
FgSanty OF newspaper putting, mutual
s1aA1a9l1 E2eDts, recOnciliatorv breakfast
and perhaps a small fine to wind up with
Thus he would have exchanged bitter but
atty words with his antagonist in 6
Ezubhc place-say the slips of a play
carried Il la Regence, amidst bevy o
actresses paling with emotion and inter
1aG5ng their tears and white arms to stay
ssle martial ardor of the disputants. Then
-xIaen the duel had triumphantly ended il
4SGG scratches and champagne Tor seven
zr1EIuding the surgeon, the press would
s1ve Bublished minute and excited pTOce
-e,,s.EasIa, Of the whole affair, stating how
Cafvalrously the parties had conducted
themselves; and both the Public Prose
cStor and the Judge would have borne
t1eir own homage to the general bravery
IF the proceedings. This is how proper
lEEeI between Frenchmen should be carried
gSxzE0ugh, as every living duelist of mote
from NJ Henri de Pene to NJ. Paul d.
EessGgnac can testify; but your gashine
&oLe and corner duels, with no para
z-sphs in the papers, no champagne
z5Cse policemen and imprisonment as
.ssEE5aax, ase revolving things-only fit fol
Germans or sayageS.
All this clearly laid down, let it be i'm
.4zrIned what were the feelings of NJ. Pts
exsshe when, just as he had begun t
sal himself that he must be prudent for
uThiie, a duel fell upon him all of a sud
,,ssss2- and q most ugly-loOking duel too
Nth an American, one Mr.. DemOcritu:
~ Turf. Of Petroleumville, L. S. Mr.
VTFy4F had come to Paris to amuse himself
TF,s mel NJ. Pistache at the club to which
Icy both belonged, and forthwith pro
Odd to poke fun at him. There wer,
$50 who said that poking fun was sec
@,,,s5 7,af,1re with Mr.. Turf, and that hi
f1,,al ,1rff Of