Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1874-10-08
Aumuruns department.
DOING A DUN.

DOING A DUN.
81 have small bill aginst you," said a
pernicious looking collector, as he entered
the store of one who had acquired the
character of a hard customer.
eyes, sir, a very fine day indeed" was the
reply.
"Im not speaking of the weather, but your
bill," replied the collector in a loud key.
ut would be better if we had little rain"
"Confound the rain" continued the collec-
tor; and raising his voice, added, "Have you
the money to pay this bill"
"Beg your pardon, I'm hard of hearing
I've made it rule not to lend my funds to
strangers, and I really don't recognize YOU"
"Im collector for the Daily Ertinguisher
newspaper, and have bill against you,"
persisted the collector, at the top of his voice,
producing the bill, and thrusting it in the
face of his debtor.
"pve determind to endorse bills for no one !;
you may put the bills back into your pocket
book; really can't endorse it,"
"Confound your endorsement. Will you
pay it?"
"You'll pay it, no doubt, sir; but there's
always risk about these matters, you know.
So | must decline it,"
'The money must be mine to-day"
'Oh, yes, ninety days, but I would not
endorse bill for you at week so get out
of my store. 1t is seldom that am pressed
upon for an endorsement, even by friend on
the part Of a stranger, sir, it is inexplicable.
Do not force me to put you out; leave the
premises"
The bill was returned to the Ertinguisher
Office, endorsed $50 dreadfully deaf that he
couldn't understand"
MUTUAL ADMIRATIoN.-Some two miles
up the gulch from Radersburg, Montana
Territory, is small mining camp called
Keatingville. Here, not long since, the mi
ners and ranchmen of the vicinity, congregated
for dance, 'and dance they did, with an unc-
tion unknown to your city bellies and beaux.
One interesting young man, Dave Boerum,
having imbibed rather too freely, became STA
tigued" in the course of the evening, and wisely
concluded to "retire" for short rest. A
door ajar near the dancing hall revealed invi-
tingly glimpse Of a comfortable bed of which
he took possession, with prospect of an unds-
turbed "snooze." It so happened that this
was the ladies' withdrawingroom, and no soon-
er had he closed his eyes than pair of bloom
ing Montana damsels came in from the hall
and began adjusting their disordered ring
lets, the dim light Of the tallow candle not
disclosing the tenant of the bed The girls
had tongues, like most of their "seck," which
ran on in this wise:
"What nice dance we are having Have
YOU heard any body saying anything about me,
Jane"
"La, yes, Sally. George Crowan says he
never see you look so handsome as you do to-
night. Have you heard any body say any
thing about me ?"'
"About you! Why, sartin. 1 heard John
Hildebran tell Reuben RAIDER that you were
the prettiest dressed girl in the room"
Whereupon the dear things chuckled, "6xed
up" little more, and made off toward the
ballroom. They had hardly reached the
door when our half conscious friend raising
himself upon his elbow, and quite intelligibly,
though slowly, inquired:
"Have you heard any body say anything
about me, gals?"
"Pbansy their pheelinks" at that juncture.
They fled, with an explosive scream.
ANEcDoTE OF THAD. STEPHENS.
NJ. B. Young, now representative in Con-
gress from Mississippi, was Confederate
General and graduate of West Point. He
came to Washington soon after the war, seek
ing to have his disabilities removed. He
is a fine, manly fellow, and seems to have &C.
cepted the results of the war in good faith.
He went to Thad. Stephens, who was Chair
man of the Election Committee, and Thad.:
began to play with him, as he sometimes did
with those whom he intended to make his
victims. He said "You are graduate of
West Point 1 believe p
eyes, sir
Educated at the expense of the United
States, believe, which you swore faithfully
to defend?"
"Yes, sir"
"You went into the service for the internal
rebellion?'
eyes sir"
"You were brigade commander in the raid
into Pennsylvania, which destroyed the prop
erty of so many of my constituents
"Yes, sir"
"It was a squad of men under your direct
charge, and under your personal command,
that burned my rolling mill down p
Eyes, sir"
Young thought he was gone, but seeing
that the old veteran had come into the
possession of the last fact, which Young did not
dream he knew, it was impossible to deny
the truth of his questions. Thad. roared
out, "Well, I like your id impudence. |
will see that your disabilities are removed.
Good morning" And the next day the bill
passed the House.
SLIGHTLY MUDDLED.-It was only two
days ago Jones was injudiciously full. Being
painfully aware of his inebriety, he endeavor-
ed to conceal it from the public by buttoning
his coat up very closely, imparting and abnor-
NAL stiffness to his knees, and tripping over
his own heels. He stalked up to a street
car, walked briskly in just as the horse
started forward-and instantly tumbled out
again backward without unbending muscle.
Straightway he recovered the upright, and
reentered, seating himself beside an &C.
quaintance, making no sign of his mishap:
Presently he turned to this individual and
inquired
"Klzshun?"
"No."
He considered a moment, and then asked
again: