davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
;1kOn IN GREENBACKS CAN
DCUU. be WON, in the FAIR
LOTTERY by RISKING JUST SEW
ENTY- FIVE CENTS.

9EaB- We never knew how wicked
the Administration is until the AL
bapy Argus rose up to the occasion,
clapped its broad pinions and thus
scared through the thunder clouds
Of denunciation: AS Charles III rioted
with the barlequins and harIots while
England was groaning; as Napoleon
III reveled in gaiety when his EN-
pipe vas lettering; as an ancient
monarch grew boisterous even while
the strange hand was about to write
his fate On the walls Of his banquet
hail; as Roman Emperors danced
while Rome was plunging over the
precipiceAso does the Federal Ad.
ministration riot with its courtiers.
|ysauander the peoples estates with
its imperial retainers, grow strongly
hilarious, while the people write its
doom, and dance amid the ruins Of
the business community and over
| the impoverished homes ofthe unem
ployca but Industrious poor. Score
one moro for. the comets tail.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
MISCELLANEOUS.
Lecture to Young Men.
JUST PUBLISHED. IN A SEALED
ENVELOPE.
.4g
IKlCE,. .SlA CENTS

LEN L OhE " N III N a y X r.,
N Treatment and Radical egMsHA
cure of Seminal Weakness,
or Spermatorrhoea, induced ~
by Self-Abuse, Involuntary -
Emissions, Impotency, Nervous Debii-
ity, and Impediments to Marriage gen.
orally; Consumption Epilepsy, and
Fits; Mental and Physical Incapacity,
&c By ROBT. G. CULVERWELL,
NJ. D., author of the Green Book, SC.
The world-renowned author, in this
admirable Lecture, clearly proves from
his own experience t h at the awful
consequences of Self-Abuse may be eff
fectuaIly removed without medicine,
and without dangerous surgical opera
lions, bougies, Instruments. rings, Or
cordials; pointing out q mode of cure
at once certain and effectual, by which
every sufferer, no matter what his con-
dition mag be, may cure himself cheap
ly, privately and radically.
u This Lecture will prove a boon
to thousands and thousands.
Sent under seal, in plain envelope,
to any address, postpaid, on receipt
of six cents, or two post stamps. III
Address the Publishers. "a, ,-f
CHAS. J.'C. KLINE g. CO.,
l27 Bowery, New York, Post Office
Box 1856. 4. .a,G Ao
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16

How SIZE DIPPED HrM.-By tight
squeezing our fat lady got into a
bathing robe that was ready to burst
at every step. Little husband grid
ed about his body wooden garment
that fitted like shirt on killdeer.
Down they 60, bold as a couple of
whales, to the water, but just at the
oceans edge, Puny suddenly halted,
looked with awe on the furious bill
lows, and then into the face Of his
determined wife. On her counte-
nance were the words, aCome on"
On his trembling lips shiyered the
sounds, "Oh, mol" The small speci-
men Of diminutive husbandry feared
to risk his limited portion Of flesh
and bones in the dashing FOAM
" g shall go in" said the fat wo-
man. 81 won't" said skinny, at the
same time making frantic efforts to
tear away; down he goes in the sand,
scratching worse than a Kilkenny
cat. Down drops the big woman OIL
terrified bones. The sand flew, legs
kicked, man screamed, yet. in. spite
Of all, the mammoth wife gathered
her hundred pounds Of furious sweet
ness in her arms, walked complacent-
ly i ;tltG', Che biggest b eakefs, and,
kersouse, she landed him l!,,l hea sy]
most INTO the be- sea, and as, as hs. popped
up to the surface, half strangled, she
pressed him to her BOSOM, saying,
i.Now, honey, that's what, you came
al the way from Wilmington to enjoy.
|-[Cape May Wave. 80 49,.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
"OUR LOST OPPORTUNITIES -

The following is from the Louis
vile Courier-J Journal of the 3lst ult.
We publish it that our people may
read and ponder for themselves the
opinions Of the Press elsewhere than
down South, concerning the fresh
and recent troubles, which have I'M
fortunately occurred. 1t will eper-
lceived that the editor had not heard
of the Coushatta affair:
We give it up. There was
chance that the next House of Re-
representatives. would not be Radical.
That chance has gone. The out
breaks in Kentucky and the massa-
ere in Tennessee settle that much
No people, no party, could stand I'M
der such a load as the people ST the
South and the Democratic party of
the North are forced to carry. Call
it what you will-the fruit of recon-
struction, the fault of the party in
power, the inevitable conflict of
races, precipitated by a bad theory of
government, executed in a vicious
practice-the one effect of the whole
mess of violence is continuance and
reinforcement Of the old pretext by
which the country has been carried
along the same baleful, partisan rut
ever since the war. a
There is no use writing, talking,
speaking, argufying, contradicting,
proving, as long as the bloody sum
total, recorded within the last fort
night, goes out to the world nnchal-
lenged by adequate redress. Tho
Gibson county butchery surpasses
belief and though the Governor of
Tennessee has done his full duty, the
gallows can alone render atonement
commensurate with the public, ex-
pectation. 1t is hardly likely sthat
anybody is going to be hung. The
result will be renewed legislation,
additional Radical enactments; g and
perhaps, ultimately, martial law.
The fools are not all dead yet.
This third term discussion has led
many of them to fancy that Grant is
about to tumble into the arms of the
South. He is the more likely to be
an ultra, martial law candidate for
reelection, backed by fancied militia
ry necessities, supported by the ma
chine work Of power, and carried
upon the passions Of Radicalism.-
There was o show for the defeat of
the civil rights bill, or it's Veto
That is gone, like the control Of the
next House, and the prospect is
black with the ruin Of Conservative
hopes.
1t is well to be plain. AS surely
as the South begins to get on it's
feet do it's madmen proceed to kick
the fat in the fire. The Radicals
only want pretexts. The South sup
plies them. A war, or the appear
ance Of war, Of races seems inevita-
BILE; and that is itself third term
under proscriptive auspices. That
is the road to the overthrow of re-
publican government, but chiefly at
the South's expense.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
o
3joetical.
y
DIynPET's LAMENT.
BY NJ. NJ.

BY NJ. NJ.
Te7ue
o! my curse on crusadhers,
Those lawlcss invaders,
And their morphadite layders,
Wherever they go.
For they've lost me treasure,
l prazed beyond measure,
And turned all my pleasure
10 sadness. and woe.
Yez persave I was sparkin
Miss Nora O'Larkin,
And | thought of embarkin'
On, welded lifc's sea:
Whin these female desavers,
Wild prayers and PLAYERS,
Despite all my enAayyors,
Led Nora astray.
Shure they told me that whisky
Made man far too frisky,
AM that it was risky,
To wed with Il sot.
For he'd surely Nitrate her,
Whin full of the craythur,
And likely would bate hur
Der head with a pot.
Now it's thrue that each mornin'
My lips take horn in,
AM | wud be scornin'
TO lie bout that same,
But these backbitin' wimen,
Made me out Il laymon,
And there LONG an scramin',
Turn'd poor Morals brain.
She declared that could Harry''
She sooner wud marry
Than one who would tarry
From home drinkiu' gin,
And though l besought her
My hopes net to shatber-
And I'd mix mine with wather,
She wouldn't give in.
Now, Ochone! I'm forsaken,
An my heart it is brakin',
Both sleepin' or wakin'
That crew has my curse.
May the chaps with white choker
And the strOng-minded croaker
Serve ould Nick-las as stokers,
WHARF, wather is scarce.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
The Cant Of Empostors.

It is so obvions that physical and
constitutional vigor is the best defense
against disease, that even the vendors
OF drastic purgatives advertise them as
tonics, stomachics and invigorants, in
Che hope Of enlisting the confidence of
the public in the deyitalizing and per-
nicious potions. 1t is amusing to note
how these impostors initiate and copy
the language In which the medicinal
properties of Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters arc described. Although the eff
feet OF their rasring evacnants is to de-
stroy the tone of the digestive organs
and the bowels, and to rob the system
Of its vital strength, they are unscru-
pulously recommended to the weak and
PROSTATE victims of disease as stimu-
lants! 1t is time this bumbug mot a
very successful one it is true, thanks to
the mature common sense of the Amer
lean people) was stigmatized as it de-
serves. Such miscllievous falsehoods
should be exposed pro bono publico.
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, be it dis
tinctly understood, is stimulant. 1t
has spirituous basis, and that basis is
the vehicle which diffuses its wonder
tul sanitary principles through every
part of the system. The tonic, alter
Iative and regulating ingredients of the
Bitters would be comparatively inert
if they We're not, so to- speak, carried to
the localities where they are required
by the stimulating agent. The cant
which protests against the use of a
pure alcoholic fluid, when employed as
a means of giving full effect to medi-
cinal extracts of the highest utility, is
the cant of charlatanism. Every intel
ligent physician so characterizes it, and
the sick who are griped, convulsed and
debilitated by the nauseous and dis
gushing nostrnms of the parties who
put it forth, soon find to their sorrow
that it is delusion and a snare. Hos
letters Bltters, the great sanitary
stimulant Of the age, is in the truest
sense of the word, a wholesome, vital
izing, renovatirg preparation. q
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
The Democrat.
TERMS:

THE DEMOCRAT is published Week
~, at Four DOLLARS per annum-
Two DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS for
six months, PAYABLE AID
VANCE! No subscription taken
for Il less period than six months.
ADVERTISEMENTS inserted at the rate
. of ONE DOLLAR per square for the
first insertion aud FIFTY CENTS for
each subsequent one.
EIGHT lines or less, (BREvIER) consti-
tute square.
OBITUARY Notices, Marriages, Public
Meetings, Cards of Thanks, ETC., tc
be paid for as advertisements.
Lay PERSONAL CARDS, when admis-
sibie, charged double the usual adver.
Using rates. ~
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16

THE SKy.-The colors of the sky,
at particular times, afford wonderful
good evidence. A rosy sunset pre-
sages fair weather and ruddy sum
shine. A bright yellowish sky in
the evening indicates wind; pale
yellow, wet; q neutral gray color con-
stitutes a favorable sigh in the eve
ming and an unfavorable one in the
morning. The clouds are full of
meaning in themselves: If their
forms are soft, underlined and feathe
ry, the weather will be foul. Gene
rally speaking, and deep, unusual
lines besoken wind and rain, while
the more quiet and delicate tints be-
speak fair weather.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
Parish.

Police Jurors:
JAMES W. OSBORN President
j.. p. SMELLING,
t., G.. COMPTON,
JESSE CLIFTON,
VIM .KELSO.
CHAS. OWEN, =. Clerk Police Jury
j. NJ. BARRETT, Parish Treasurer
Town.
r. L. FOX,- -.--..---....--.-.M Mayor
Conncilmeu:
j. B0UfLLOTTE, First Ward
f. K. BIOSSAT, 1880. Second Ward
j. B. RICHARDSON. 80. Third Ward
NJ. LEGRAS, Fourth Ward
j. c. FRENCH, ... Fifth Ward
r. GRAVITY. Marshall and Collector
A. HILTON Comptroller and Sec'ry
b. G.. DUKE. Treasurer
$. CULLEN. .Wharfinger
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16

HoME.-Ifome is the realm of
which the wife is sovereign, and her
sovereignty win bring her honor, ac-
cording as her rule over the matters
committed to her trust is wisely and
benefieiently ordered. e
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
ALEXANDRIA,.

d l. r Fl G n Q r Y
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16

G@ The Atlanta, Ga, Constitu-
tionalist. says very truthfully that
'lf men Of both coIors would drink
less whisky and carry, no firearms.
the happiness and peace Of Ill con-
iruliities Would he ihcraastf" about
loco Dcr cent. .'-stEI,r;
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
----.S s~S~

FANE.-A counterfeit bill on the
top Of q creased pole, which few OBJ
tain, and obtained is found to be not
WORTH the trouble.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
4, BRoTssEaV.

-, : - 4. BROCssEAU,
IMPORTER AND DEALER. OFFERS
Lat Wholesale and Retail, CARPET
INGS, 1000 pieces English and American:
OIL CLOTHS, Floor. Table and Enamel.
MATING, fG0O rolls, White, Check and
Fancy. WINDOW SHADES, -Cornices,
Table and Piano Covers. CURTAINS,
Lace and Nottingham Lace. BRoCA-
UELLE, ~Catelises, ferries. Reps, etc
HAIR CLOTH, Gimp. Plush, etc.
!. Jan. 7-6m. A. BROUSSEAU.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1874-09-16
NEATLY DONE
AT THIS OFFICE
DRAINAGE PUMPS

DUMPS, SEPARATE, OR WITH EN-
L CINE, Boiler and EVERYTHING COM
PLETE.
PUMP 100 to 100000 gallons p er
minute.
PUMP SAND, GRAVEL, MUD AND GRIT
TY SUBSTANCES.
PUMP MORE WATER with same power.
PUMP MORE WATER according to cost.
Are superior to any PUMP made.
Send for Circular of Andrews Centri-
fugal Pumps and Machinery. In use
by the U. S. Government and all over
the world.
2 VIM. D. ANDREWS & BRO,
I'D Water Street, New York
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21
THE SUM.
WEEKLY, sEa1-wEEKIY. AND DAILY.

TIE WEEKLY sun u too widely known TO requr
any extended rcconme udattn; but the reasons Whic
have already given it fifty thousand Subscribers, an'
| which will We hope, giveh many thousands more ar
II Is rst-rate newspapcr All the news Of the day
will be found In t. condensed when unnportant at iu
II length when of moment and always presented IN
u clear. ineligible, aud interesting manner
1t is rst-ratc paper full Of entertaining and nstrc
tive reading of cyery Kind but containing nothing that
can offend the most delicate and scrupuious taste.
1t is tirs-ratc story paper Inc best tales ara 70,
manees of current literature are carefully seiectcu ana
legiably printed in itsIaee& ,
II Is agricultural The most fresh and
instructive articles agricultural topics regularly APP
pear in this department.
party and wearing collar 1t fights for the principle
and for the election of the best men to Office 1t
pccia energies to the exposure of the
and trctcn to undermine republican institutions alto
gether 1t has fear Of knayes and asks no fnvors
Il reports tie fashions for tn. ladies' and the markets
for the especially the cattle-markets, to which
pays particular attention.
Finally II is the cheapest paper published One dollar
year will secure IL for any subscriber II Is not
necessary to get up club In order TO have THE
WEEKLY sun at this rate Any who sends
single dollar will get the paper for year.
We have no travelling agents.
THE WEEKLY SUNLIGHT pages Ghy-six
columns, only S1OO year. No discount from this
THE SEMI-WEEKLY SUN.-samo size as the
Daily Sun. $500 year. discount of 20 per cent. to
clubs of 10 or
THE DAILY sUN-A large four-page newspaper
of weight columns. Daily circulation 5SO,-
600 All the news for 2cents. SUBSCRIPTION price 90
cents month. 600 year. To clubs OF 10 or over
discount of 20 per cent.
Addres., 1.-THE SUM-" New York City.
Nor. S.h 1S73.-6t.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

It is stated now that Cornelius Vanderbilt,
from whose estate the newspapers have sub
tracted from So, ZOO, 900 to $1o,0oO,ooO by the
crash, has, OH the contrary, kept all he had of
his $50, 0OO, 900, and bought stocks at SO low
rate when they were down that he will by
June be worth S6O,Oo0,ooo. He expects to
increase his pile to a round one hundred mil
lions in five years. But there is an old story
about rich man and his barns
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

"Father," said lady of the new school TO
her indulgent spouse, as he resumed his pipe
after supper one evening, "you must buy our
dear Georgiana an English grammar and
spelling book. She has gone through hel
French. Latin and Greek--music, drawing
and dancing-and now must commence he
English studies.''
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

1t is the fashion in New England to give
Indian names to the public houses, not that
the late lamented savage knew how to keep a
hotel but that his name may impress the
traveller who Graves shelter there, and make
him grateful to the gentlemanly clerk if he is
allowed to depart with his scalp safe.-Ths
Gilded Age.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

A negro held q COW while a cross-eyed man
Asas 10 LIT her on the head with an axe The
negro observing the mans eyes, in some fear
inquired: "Is you gwine to hit whar you
look?" EYES" "Don hold de COW your
SELF" said Cuffee.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

young gentleman at Kansas City sent
seventy-fve cents to New York recently for
method of writing without pen or ink. He
received the following inscription OH card
"Write with lead pencil"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

"What's the matter. Alice? Don't your
shoes fit?r sNo, papa, they don't fit me at
ALL replied the little one. Why, they
don't even squeak when go out for walk. :"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

Some of the trees in Arkansas are said to
be as deadly as the Upas tree. One Of them,
an elm tree near Elgin, has been the death of
twelve men already. For particulars inquire
of Judge Lynch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

A New York female who read that the
Hoosac Tunnel cost nine hundred dollars per
yard, nid she would have a dress pattern from
off that piece, if the old man did not lay up
o cent for the next two years.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

said woman to q physician, who was
weighing two grains of calomel for a child,
s.Dinna be so mean witt; it is for poor
fatherless BARN.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

L. w. FROST, President.
j. r. ROGERS, Secretary.
JOS. L. TOPHAM, Manager for New JERSEY,
EDWARD H. HOLCoMBE,
Agent Lambertville, N. ].
For agencies, apply to
JOSEPH L. TOPHAM,
General Agent of New Jersey,
30 Grant St., Newark, M.
Z. L. RICE, M. D.,
Medical Examiner at Lambertville, N. ].
w. H. SCHENK, M. D.,
Medical Examiner at Pennington, N. ].
RICHARD H. FOULKE, NJ. D.,
Medical Examiner at New Hope, Pa.
The Assets of this Company invested ac-
cording to law exceed Six Million Dollars
go, 00O, 00O). 1t Isl prudently managed Com
pany, and offers every reasonable inducement
to persons of all ages and each sex to insure.
By taking Policy in it you win only be fol
lowing the example of A. T. Stewart, H. B.
Parker, Marcus L. Ward, III. w. Longfellow,
John G. Whittier, Henry Ward Beecher,
Charles Dickens, John w. Forney, Cornelius
Vanderbilt, Thomas Scott, and One Million
other Bankers, Business Men, Professional
Men, Editors, Farmers and Mechanics. The
intelligent men not insured now are exception
al To not be insured Is criminal. To be in
sured is Duty and is a Pleasure. You can
either protect yourself from Poverty in old
age or your family from Poverty, Degradation
or Crime by your premature Death. Do not
Delay. Do not Procrastinate. Do not be
Pharisaical and say it is good for every one
sure because their riches may take wings and
a., owav let the uoor insure hecausr II Is
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

The cost of the London Underground ''. ias.''
way, for building and equIpmcn'' "''S ~i'1'0''
O00 per mile.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

Lac what talent you possess. The woods
would be very silent il no birds sang there
but those that sing best.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

The fndepende1st newspaper, OF New ork'
h.s boon sold for ss5o, 900, of which sum $751;
900 is to be paid 10 cash.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

Teach child to lie, and then hope that he
will grow up honest. Better put wasp in
far barrel and wait till lie makes you honey.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

There is burden Of care in getting riches
fear in keeping them, temptation in using
them, guilt in abusing them, and burden of
account at last to be given up concerning
them.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

Judge Duren, Of Louisiana, has forwarded
bis resignation to the President.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1874-01-21

A genius is popularity supposed to DO o"'
who can do anything except make q living.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1874-10-24

To SoLEMNIzE MARRIAGES, -Almon Gage,
Lewiston; Geo. G. Powers, Biddetord; Niles
Ellestad, Portland; David III. Cowan, Free
man Albert Wood, So. Thomaston; Granville
l.. Tracy, Oxford; Richard w. jenkins, Win
throp; VIM. o. Aver. Skowhegan; VIM. II.
Crawford, So. Montville; Darius H. Stod-
dard, Somersworth N. H.. Hiram A. StrattoE,
Augusta; Domnicus Harmon, Lynden,
VIM. T. Hobart, Pembroke; Agent for
Passamaquoddy Indians.
TRIAL JUsTIcEs.-Caleb Hodsdon, Cor
ham; Phillip M. Stubs, Strong; Danl c..
Merrill, Pennington Falls; Simeon II. Low
ell, Pennington; Solymsn Heath, Waterville,
Lorenzo d. Carver, Vinalhaven; Aaron B.
Noyes, Whitefield; Addison Martin, Guilford !;
Lewis Wyman, Palmyra; Leonard Fisher.
Charlotte; Danl Il. Mooney, Lubec.
JUSTICES OF THE PEACE AND QUoRuM.-
Joseph IL. Davenport Phillips; Wallace II.
White, Winthrop; John Kirk, Togus; Chas.
A. Sylvester, Camden; Geo. III. Brown, Ma
son Hiram j. PreblQ, Bangor; j. A. Blanch-
ard, Oldtown; s. S. Chapman, Fairfield !;
Danl Chase, Barring; Charles Carey, East
Machias.
DEDMus JUsrIcEs. - Phillip ii. Stubs,
Strong; j. II. Davenport, Phillips.
NOTARY PUBLIc.-Wipslow Bates, East
port.
Charles T. White, Orono, Fish Warden
without pay.