The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1874-06-19
Il DGn6Y1'V Man Tries to Reach a
U0llO3I'8 P0cEcf.


The most difficult thing to reach is
woman's pocket. This is especially the
case If the dress is hung up in the closet
and the man is in hurry. We think we
are safe in saying that he always is in
hurry on such an occasion. The owner of
the dress is in the sitting room serenely
engrossed in book. Having told him that
the article he is in quest of is in her dress
pocket in the closet, she has discharged
her whole duty in the matter, and can af-
ford to feel serene. He goes at the task
with dim consciousness that he has been
there before, but says nothing. On open
ing the closet door and finding himself
confronted by number Of dresses all turn
ed inside out, and presenting most for
midable front, he hastens back to ask
(which dress" and being told the brown
ono, and also asked if she had so many
dresses that there need be any great effort
to find the right one, he returns to the
closet with alacrity, and soon has his hands
on the brown dress. 1t is inside out like
the rest-a fact he does not notice, how
ever, until he has made several Intellectual
attempts to get his hand into it. Then he
turns it around very carefully aud passes
over the pocket several times without be
ing aware Of it. A nervous moving of his
hands, and an appearance of perspiration
on his f,sehead, are peIcepGb.e. We now
dives one hand in at the back, and feeling
around, finds place, and proceeds to ex-
! plcre il. when he discovers that he il fol
/ lowing up the inside of lining. The ner-
/ yousncss increases, also the Precipitation.
/ He witches the dress on the hook, and sud
denly the pocket, white, plump, and exas-
/ perating, comes TO view. Then he sghs
the relief he feels, and is mentally grateful
/ he did not use any offensive expressions.
! 1t is all right now. There is the pocket
/ in plain viow-nOt only the iHside-and all
( he has to do is to put his right hand right
around in the inside and take out the ar
ticle. That is all. lie can't help but smile
to think how near he was to getting mad.
/ Then he puts his hand around to the
other side. He does not feel the opening.
! He pushes littlo further-now he has g OF
/ it-he shoves the hand down and is very
much surprised to see it appear opposite
his knees. He has made mistake. He
tries again he feels the entrance and
| glides down it only to appear again as be-
fore. This makes linn open his eyes and
straighten his face. lie feels on the out
side Of the pocket, pinches 1t curiously,
/ lifts it up, shakes it, and after peering
| closely about the root Of it, he says, by
| gracious - and commences again. lie
does it calmly this time, because hurrving
only makes matters worse. He holds up
breadth after breadth, goes over them
carefully, gets his hand first into 4 lining,
then into the air again, (where it always
surprises him, when it appears and finally
into pocket, and is about to cry out in
triumph, when he discovers that it is the
pocket of another dress. lie is mad nov
the closet air almost stiles him he is SO
nervous he can hardly contain himself, and
the pocket looks at him so exasperaJingly
that he cannot help but plug 1t with
I clenched fist, and Immediately does it. Be
ing somewhat relieved by this performance,
lie has a chance TO look around him, and
sees that he has put his foot through a
band box and into the crown OF his wife :
bonnet; has broken the rim OF his Panama
hat, which was hanging in the same closet
and torn about yard Of bugle trimming
from a new cloak. All this trouble Is du,
directly to his wifs's iufatuation in hang
ing up her dresses inside out. He immedi
ately starts after her. and impefuously urg
ing her to the closet, excitcdly and almos
profanely intimates his doubts about Their
being pocket in the dress, anyway. Tin
cause of the unhappy disaster quietly in
serts her hand inside the robe. and diTectl-
brings it forth with the sought for aItlc'
in its clasp. lie doesn't know why, bu
this makes him madder than anything else