davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04
A Sharp ESciOrt.

The spectators in a courtroom
always enjoy a retort when law
yer, in badgering a witness, re-
ceives short replies at his own ex-
pense. Sympathy is always against
the lawyer. Even half-witted per-
sons sometimes hit the weak point
in the harness.
"William Look-tell us William,
who made you p
William, who was considered a
fool, screwed up his face and looked
thoughtful, and somewhat bewilder-
ed, answered, Moses, ! suppose"
"That will do" said Counselor
Grey, addressing the court. Wit
ness says he supposes Moses made
him. That is an intelligent answer ;
more than l thought him capable of
giving, for it shows that he has
some faint idea of Scripture.
submit it was not sufficient to en-
title him to be sworn as a witness
capable of giving evidence"
"Mr. Judge" said the fool, "may
/ AK the lawyer question 2"
Certainly" said the Judge.
"Well, then, Mr.. Lawyer, who dc
you suppose made you!"
"Aaron, s'pose," said Counselor
Grey, initiating the witness.
After the mirth had somewhat
subsidized, the witness drawled out
"Well, now, we do read in the Book
that Aaron once made a calf, but
who'd thought the critter had go
in here"
The Judge ordered the man to b,
sworn.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04

himself with. a small snake of the
garter variety, and either as a pos
sible antidote, or with the deter
mination to enjoy the chief REM
nant of lost life, applied brim-
ming jug of whisky to his lips and
keep it there until, like a repleted
leech, it % fell off. The man fell off
likewise. The next day, while the
body lay in state upon pine slab.
and the bereaved partner of the
deceased was unbending in a game
of seven-up with friendly China
man, the game was interrupted by
a familiar noise which seemed to
proceed from the jaws of the
corpse.
81 say-Jim"
"Bereaved partner" played the
king of spades, claimed "high," and
then looking over his shoulders at
the melancholy remains, replied:
"Well, what is it Dave! I'm
busy"
Il say, Jim :" repeated the corpse
in the same measured tone.
What a look of intense annoy
ance, and muttering something
about "people that could never stop
dead more'n a minute the bereav-
ed partner stood over the body
with his cards in his hand.
"Jim," continued the mighty
dead, chow fairs this thing gomez"
give paid the Chinaman two dol
lars and fifty cents to dig the grave"
responded the bereaved.
"Did he strike anything!'
The Chinaman looked up.
"Me strikee pay dirt; me no
bury dead Mclean man in'em
grave, me keep 'em claim"
The corpse sat up erect.
"Jim, get my revolver and chase
that pigtail off. Jump his scpul-
cher and tax his camp five dollars
each for prospcctin' on the public
domain. These Mongolyun hordes
hez got to be put under. And |
say, jim! if any more serpents
come foo,in' round here, drive 'em
off. faint right to be bitin' fel-
Ter when whisl1y's two dollars a gal
Ion. Darn all foreigners, anyhow ~
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04
kcnO's How Ills Himself.

This paragraph, from a paper in
Virginia City, Nevada, is very char
acteristic of mining town: "About
10 o'clock yesterday morning an
honest miner dropped in at the
Delta saloon for his morning cock
tail. While Dan Davis, the hand
some mixologist of the establish
ment, was connecting the eye-open-
er, the customer began looking
about for a clock. Cant the che
bang afford q clock 2 asked the
miner. Clocks in the next ROOM
said Dan. The miner looked in
and straight before him saw the dial
of the keno indicator, with its poin-
ter in a vertical position, while he
failed to see the clock, which was
on one of the side walls of the
room. Twelve o'clock 7 cried the
miner. Great Moses, / must have
oversight myself Is your clock
rightg Its the correct town time,
said Dan. We'll, then, as my watch
has run down, I'll wind her up and
set her by it, which he did, and
then rushed away, fearful of miss
ing his shift. A moment after
thinking it strange that it was al
ready noon, Dan himself took
look at the clock and found it jus
10. 1t then flashed across his MIND
for the first time that his customer
had all this time been looking al
and setting his watch by the keno
indicator, which stood square at 1.
NJ"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04
lContiaued tiom Erst Pnne.l

:. = CostJia..pyed .t'om First Poge,l
bling bets are often won, and yet
did not win it fairly. Frank and
1 deceived you on purpose. On
our first visit his right arm was
hidden beneath his coat, and his
wooden left arm was strapped on.
AS he did not rise from his seat
the deception was perfect. You
found him on your second visit,
as he really was, only the wooden
arm had been laid aside.
Forgive me, John, and believe
that l had an aim in this, which
God grant may be fulfilled.
"P. ST should like that this
subject should never be referred to
between us. Please me in this,
won't youl p"
Dear John, what is it p
Susan had come in, and as she
spoke she put her arms around her
husbands neck and kissed him.
He returned the kiss.
"Not now, Susan" he said husk-
lily. II will tell you some time"
But you will come and eat some
breakfast ?"
IF you won't ask me any more
questions-yes."
The blow had been severe one
and the effects of the shock did
not quickly pass away. But John
Ogden revived in time; and when
he told to his wife the secret of his
troubles on that unhappy night, he
prepared to give her great and
lasting joy by adding that he had
made his LAST BET.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04
Deacon Barnes Sunday.

DCdulllul, pGdulllul ulSlldl
ly calculated Deacon Barnes, at III,
close of sermon about Heaven
"Thoso are my ideas exactly"
And so enwrapt was he with hi
thoughts as he passed out o
church, he forgot to ask lame OLE
Mrs. Howe to ride home with hin
as was his usual custom.
perhaps it is just as WELL" he
thought, ''for she is a worldly old
woman, and would probably have
drawn my thoughts away from
Heaven"
At the dinner table his son ex-
claimed: 80, father, l have stu
alton at last"
"Have you forgotten that it is
Sunday, John " asked his father
sternly. "Don't let me hear any
more such talk"
John ate his dinner in silence.
How could his situation be wrong
thing to speak Of on Sunday! He
was so thankful for it that it SEEM
ed to come from the hand Of God.
God knew all about the restless
months in which he had answered
an advertisement every day.
When the minister gave thanks
in church for all the mercies of the
past week, Johns heart gave a
grateful throb, and he determined
anew to acknowledge God in all
ways.
John ate his dinner in silence
while his father thought about
Heaven.
In the afternoon Mr.. Barnes
nephew a stranger in the place
came over from his boarding place
opposite and sat on the piazza talk
ing with John.
Il can't allow this, Tom," said
Mr.. Barnes, coming to the door
with his Bible in his hands. "You
must not sit here breaking the Sab.
bath. Go back to your boarding
house and read some good book"
Tom started up angrily, ant
spent the afternoon fishing an(
bathing with an old colored man
his only acquaintance in the place
while Deacon Barnes sat in larg,
rocker on the piazza, with a hand
kerchief over his face and though
about Heaven.
Presently his two little grand
daughters came out on the piazz
with q picture-book and sat dow
near him. There was o futter {
leaves and a great deal of buzzin
as the little yellow heads bent owe
the book, and finally they laughe
outright.
"Children, where's your mother
sternly demanded Deacon Barnes
springing to his feet.
"Up stairs, putting baby
Sleep" they both answered togetl
er.
Deacon Barnes strobe into IL
hall, "Ellen! Ellen !" he shoute,
~ should think you might kee
these children quiet on the Sal
bath. They won't allow me
think y
Ellen had been awake all Mig
with fretful baby. She had hus
ei him, and bad just fallen aisle
when her fathers voice arous
her and awoke the baby.
"Please send them up stairs" S
said, YEARLY.
And all the sultry afternoon 81
amused the three children in
close upper room, while her faith
rocked and famed himself, al
thought about Heaven.
And there's many "Deac,
Barnes" Wouldn't you class the
with the-well, not wise men.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04

DIR. bod Grille Ambrose Bierce)
has published a book, from which
the following California anecdote is
taken. One day in 40 an honest
miner mp in Calavcras county bit
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1874-03-04

Andrew Johnson was accused of
bad spelling, but John Randolph
defended him by declaring that ga
man must be a fool who could not
spell a word more ways than one"
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
NOTES HERE AND THERE.
Cloudy, chilly weather.

Cloudy, chilly weather.
Another of LIE Nard charming letters
in this paper,
Occasionally man risks his team on
the ice. Better keep off.
old Settlers and Young Settlers, this
evening at the Bellows House.
The Union misapplies what we said
about Wiltshire. But that is not strange
The perceptions of the people who run that
concern are obtuse.
Don't miss reading a neat piece OF
irony in this paper from the Geneseo Re
public about the speech which Warner new
er made Ill Springfield.
The Grand Jury of Scott county re
turned Is indictments against 1T. 5. Eg-
glesht alias William wilkins IS for forg-
cry, and g for uttering forged orders.
Judge Brannan fixed the bail at $1,000, on
each indictment-S4S,0 900 in all.
Will DR.. Livingston never die is
perplexing conundrum. A few days age
his obituary was paraded in the columns
of thousand papers, and now his son-in-
law, Rev. Robert Moffat, says he could
not possibly have been in the section OF
country where his death is reported tC
have occurred. The dignitaries of the
British Foreign Office also refuse to be
heve that he is dead.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
Dyspepsia! Dyspepsia Dyspepsia

Dyspepsia is the most perplexing of all
human ailments. Its symptoms are al
most Infinite in their variety, and the for
lorn and respondent victims of the disease
often fancy themselves the prey, in turn
of every malady This is due, in part, to
the close sympathy which exists between
the stomach and the brain, and in part also
to the fact that any disturbance of the d.
gestive function necessarily disorders the
liver, the bowels and the nervous system,
and effects, to some extent, the quality of
the blood
E. f. Kunkel's Bitter Wine of Iron is a
sure cure. This is not new preparation,
to be tried aud found wanting it has been
prescribed daily for many years in the
practice of eminent physicians with unpar-
relied success it is not expected or in
tended to cure all the diseases to which the
human family is subject, but is warranted
to cure Dyspepsia in the most obstinate
form. Kunkels Bitter Wine of Iron new
er fails to cure Symptoms of Dyspepsia
are loss Of appetite. wind and rising of the
food, dryness of the mouth, heartburn,
distention OF the stomach and bowels, con-
stipation, headache. dizziness, sleepiness
and low spirits. Try the great remedy and
be convinced Of its merits Get the genu-
inc. Take only Kunkel's, which is put
only in 81 bottles Depot, 259 North
Ninth street, Philadelphia.
John Bengston agent for Rock Island.
2-ld&wlm
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
Farmers Meetings,

The meetings at Milan, Coal Valley, An
dalusia and Illinois City, were called by the
Executive Committee of the Farmers
County Association, and the locations are
such that if the people turn out well, they
will accommodate nearly all the territory
below Rock river These with the school
house and neighborhod meetings in the va
rious towns will give all chance to hear
about the objects of the Farmers Move
ment. DR. Reiter and B. B. Joslin, Esq,
will be present at all the meetings to ex-
plain their object, and perhaps other
speakers 1t is hoped that good arrange
ments will be made by the people where
the meetings are called, for place to hold
them and for getting out large attend
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

On the first Monday in August, 1s4l,
John Il. Taylor was elected in place OF N.
Belcher.
!, On the first Monday in August, 1912,
George ). Moore was elected in place of
Leml Andrews.
On the first Monday in August, 1843,
John klstler was elected in place of A.
Dunlap.
On the first Monday in August, 1874,
VIM. j.. Lee was elected in place of John
r. Taylor.
On the first Monday in August. 1S45,
Medad ": Wright was elected in place OF
Geo. S. Moore.
On the first Monday in 1916 Sapuel
Sloan was elected in place of John Kist-
ler
On the first Monday in August, lS47,
Jacob Starr was elected in place OF VIM.
L. Lee.
On the first Monday in August, lS4S, I.
9. Temple was elected in place OF nj. W.
Wright.
And that was the end of the county COM
| missloners.
COUNTY JUDGES AND ASSOCIATES.
The constitution of l84S provided that
in counties not adopting township. organlza-
| ton, the county business should be trans
acted by board consisting OF the county
judge and two associate justices. These
three officers were to have equal voice IN
county matters But the assistants had
nothing whatever to do with probate bust
ness. The first board elected under the
constitution of l84S was on November E,
lS49, as follows:
John w. Spencer, county judge.
L j Robinson, assistant justice.
James Weaverling,
Nov. 6, 1852, William Bailey was elect
ed county judge in place of John W Spen-
GER, resigned.
At the election in November, 1853, the
following board was elected
John NJ Gould, county judge.
George E Holmes, assistant justice.
John Kistler,
These gentlemen held the office until
April. 1857, when the system under which
they acted was superseded by township or
ganlzatlon.
COUNTY JUDGES.
Judge Gould of course continued in of
flee to the end of his term, "A years. or to
November, 1857.
In November, 1857, Cornelius Lynde,
Jr. was elected and served years. to No
vember, 1861.
In November, 1861, Joseph B Dan
forth, Senior, was elected, and served 4
years, to November 1865.
10 November, 1865, John M Wilson was
elected, and, November, 1869, he was re-
elected, and served until his death, in the
winter of 1871.
In April, 1871, S S Guyer was elected to
fill the unexpired term of John NJ Wilson.
In November, 1873, S S Guyer was re-
elected, and is the present officer.
BOARD OF SUPERVISORS.
We cannot spare room to-day,fo a com
plete list of supervisors. The first board OF
supervisors was organized June 9th, 1857,
with Robert NJ Marshall, Esq. of Rock Isl
and, as chairman. The complete list of
chairmen, to the present time,is as follows
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
LEYDEHN's CIGARS RECOVERED.
Tom Atkinson and Ben stemple the Thieves
They are in our Jail.

On the 10Th inst. Leydehns cigar store
in Moline was robbed of considerable
quantity of cigars. MrL put the case in
the hands Of our police department, and
Policeman Murrin traced out the fellows so
that he was satisfied who stole.the property
He also got clue to where it was secreted
in Davenport, but just at the time he in
tended to make the haul he was calle7l off
to help catch the Davenport forger. He
therefore gave the clue to the Davenport
police and suggested to watch certain par
ties who he believed would take the prop
erty to a certain saloon in Davenport for
sale Officers Niles and Smith did so, and
last night (the 10TH were rewarded by
seeing two men drive up to Charlie Coyne' S
saloon, under the Ackley House, and carry
large bundle into the saloon. They al
lowed the fellows to get well into business,
and then went in upon them, catching the
lads with the cigars on the floor and in the
midst of negotiations for their sale. They
captured the men and took possession of
the cigars-thirty-e ight boxes, 100 in a box.
The prisoners were taken to the Davenport
Jail for the night. Their names are Tom
Atkinson and Ben Stemple, of this city,
and little before noon to-day they were
safely inside our Jail, from whence they
will probably take trip to Joliet.
There are other parties connected with
these two young villains who ought to 90
to Joliet with them.
1t is believed, also, that a certain hack
man aided in the robbery, and carried the
parties to Moline to make the robbery and
then carried them with the plurder to
Davenport the same night, where it was
secreted.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
OBSTACLES TO MARRIAGE.

HAPPY RELIEF FOR YOUNG MEN from the effects
OF Errors and Abuses in early life. Manhood re-
stored Impediments to Marriage removed New
method of treatment. New and remarkable RENE
dies. Books and Circulars sent free, in sealed en-
velopes
Address, HOWARD ASSOCIATION, No. South
Ninth Street, Philadelphia, Pa.,-an Institution
having high reputation for honorable conduc'
and professional skill 2-91&w3m
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

When the regular and legally chosen
Board of Water Commissioners were in
office, the people got monthly report of
receipts and expenditures on account of
the water works. Lnion
This is not true. The old board did not
make monthly reports-nor does the law
renuire If
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
LIST OF OFFICERS
OF Rock Island County from its Organization to
the present time.

For some time we have been thinking
about publishing list of officers of this
county from its organization, and we asked
Mai. Beardsley, late county clerk, to fur
nish us list, from the records in his Of
fee. Previous to 1853, however, it is i'm
possible to find anything like full records.
and in some cases nothing can be found in
regard to the election of men known to
have held Office. We give, however, such
records as Maj. B. has been able to furnish
us, hoping that they may prove useful to
future historians of the county. No better
time could be found to publish what we
have secured, than to-day, as the Old Set
tiers who meet in annual festival this eve
ming may recall some incidents of early
days by seeing the names of men who
have passed away. The first paper is one
showing that the first circuit court was or
ganized in 1884, and is as follows;
ORGANIZATION OF CIRCUIT COURT.
By virtue of an act of the General AS
sembly entitled AN act to Establish Rock
Island County" and other acts, Richard
M. Young, to whom was allotted the 5th
Judicial Circuit, composed of the following
counties, viz: Cook, LaSalle, Putnam,
Peoria, Fulton, Schuyler, Adams, Han
cock, McDonough, Knox, Warren, 10 Da-
vies, Mercer, Rock Island, and Henry, APP
peared at the house of John Barrels, in
Rock Island County, in the town of Farm
Harrisburg, on the 2Sth day of April, A. ID.
1884, being the 4th Monday in said month";
and took his seat, and thereupon Circuit
Court was held for the said Rock Island
County.
The following were the officers of that
Circuit, viz Richard NJ Young, judge
Joseph Conway, clerk B. f. Pike, sher-
if: Thomas Ford, states attorney.
FIRST GRAND JURY.
The first grand jury was organized in
April 1884, as follows: Joel Wells, Fore
mani, Robert Seims, William Carr,
William f. Brazer, Calvin Spen-
Ger, Henry McNeal, James L. Bur
tbs, Samuel Burtis, Sr., James H. Cole
man, John D. Richly, Martin W Smith,
Charles II Simpson, Henry Watcher,
Nathan Smith, Roswell III Spencer, Viii
liam ThomF son, EHphalet Cook.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

The American homeless sardines received
the grand diploma of merit over all COM
petitors at the World Exposition, Vienna,
1873. Better and less than half the price
of imported sardines. Sold by all first
class grocers. Packed only by the Ameri-
can Sardine Co New York ll0-30d&wly
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

Our readers will certainly thank US for
advising them to keep in their houses, for
use, Renne's Pain Killing Magic Oil. 1t
is said to be the best remedy for painful
complaints ever discovered 1T works
like a charm"
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
Death of VIM. McEnary.

We regret to hear of the death of Mr.
VIM McEnary, of Yuma. He was one Of
the early settlers of this county and one Of
our most wealthy and prosperous farmers.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

THE WORLD RENowNED GERMAN TEA
is the safest, surest and most pleasant REM
edy ever discovered for the cure of dys-
pepsia, kidney and bladder arrangements,
female complaints, nervous debility, etc.
Throughout these States, Mexico and the
Central American republics, down the
slopes of the Andes and across the pampas
of South America, in negro villages amid
the fervid wilds of Africa, throughout the
iungles of India and the steppes of inter
Tor Asia, over the continent of Australia
and the islands of the Pacific, this Tea is
known and everywhere used as a family
remedy for diseases. With distant nations
it's wonderful cures attract more attention
than it does at home, for the sentiment of
wonder takes far deeper hold on their
minds than the results of high scientific
skill with us. Added to the consummate
skill of its composition is an extreme care
in its manufacture, which at once secures
the most perfect material and its most ac-
curate combination. Prepared by DIR.
Beale, at his pharmacy, 602 South street,
and by all druggists. Price, rs cents
Sunday Republic, Philadelphia,
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

STRAYED.-Strayed from the Harper
House Coach Stable, on Thursday, the
10Th, light bay horse 4 years old past
over 16 hands, weighs 1850 pounds, RICH
hind foot white, mixed starin forehead
A liberal reward will be paid for his deEy
cry to the undersigned
BEN HARPER.
Rock Island, Feb. 16. lS74.-d&wtf
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

LosT.-Somewhere between the NJ. E.
church and Pearl street, small seal. one
side blood stone. and the other white
Finder will receive S. by leaving same al
McGavern's jewelry store.
l9-d3t HARRY PHILLIPS.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

Nothing is more eficacious for the cure
of colds, coughs and all lung diseases than
'Masta's Pulmonic Balsam an old New
England remedy which thousands have
tried and proved it to be just the thing for
these distressing complaints. 1t is pre-
pared from vegetable balsams and the ne
dicinal properties of roots and herbs, with
no minerals or poisonous acids. Simple
and safe in the materials used, it can be
taken at any time. This valuable remedy
is for sale by every druggist in Rock Island.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

In AN INCREDIBLE short space OF time
NATURES HAIR RESTORATIVE has won
its way into public favor. Why? Be-
cause it does the work and leaves no ill eff
fects. See advertisement
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
Erroneous Date.

In publishing the fiscal statement of city
affairs, one error in date occurred Where
it reads Water Works Dept for water
rents since Feb'y 3, 1873" it should read
since June /, 1873.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20

PoND's EXTRACT is prepared with ut
most care from one of the most potent cur
alive agents, judiciously selected at an ex-
act and critical period of growth.
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

PozzoNI's medicated complexion powder
for sale by Smith & Benny and Emil
Koehler. and G. Speidel
The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1874-02-20
Farmers Meeting at the Keller School House

MILAN, Feb. Is, 1874.
To the Editors of The Argus:
Please publish the following notice:
There will be an an open meeting of
Ridgewood Grange, No. 1913, held at the
Keller School House, town of Bowling, on
Monday evening, Feb. sd. All farmers
are respectfully requested to attend.
Yours truly, CHAs +. Kyle,
Sec. Ridgewood CIR