Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1874-08-21
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delphia arrived III New oIh oh0 ooi'eA
dav. and having no baggage but nght
travelling satchel, was utterly Obvious
to the appeals Of the hackmen as he emery
ed from the railway station.
s.Fee-thavanoo hotel! Fifth avanoo--
go in ritup Fifth avanoo -
Broadbrim stalked right on without
word. Another knight of the whip charg-
ed down upon him.
ssSay Nicholas hotel! Say Nicholas no.
tel coach This way for the S'Nicholas y
No response from the passenger, and
not muscle moved at this appeal Then
there was rush of half a dozen.
esKerridge, sir, kerridge? Wanter rae
up?"
aWinsur house! Who's going up to the
Winsur ~
castor house, sill ~
"Brevort house i? Breevort ?''-''Metro-
politan hotelE' Right down Broadway ~
s'Ere you are, kerridge, sir %
The traveller doomed up like ten-pln
among vinegar cruets, and, with face as
placid as pan of milk, was calmly and
silently moving away from the crowd OF
iarvies, who looked after him with some
thing like amazement. when sudden
thought seemed to strike one, who, run
ming after him, seized hold of one of the
handles of his travelling bag
ssDeaf and Dumb Asylum, sir? Going
right up!''
This was too much. Dignity relaxed
~, J,,;xy fa
a down town hotel.-Boston Bulletin.
EDITORS AND ANGELs.-Judge Clag-
gett delivered the annual address before
the Iowa Editorial Convention, which
held it's last session at Clinton, on the 10th
instant. Speaking of the profession, the
Judge, true to his nature, eXempllhed
some of his remarks as follows: 1t. is just
possible that an Iowa editor might fall
like a Missouri editor who went to a
camp-meeting, and upon being asked by
the preacher to go up to the mourners
bench. shook his head and replied, Il
don't want any in mine. 'sBut, sad the
preacher, "don't you want to be an an
gel 2" Angel! No stree; l'man editor.
I'd like to know how I'd look sitting on q
white throne, way up in the sky, playing
on IL jewsharp, and don't know one id
note of music.7' Since the road OF an ed
itor is evidently 'shard one to travel, ="
it may not be strange that so many there
be that are found therein.
A good many stories Of stammerers are
told. but none Of recent date better than
the following of Platt Evans, OF Cmclnna-
ii: 1t was one of his pleasures to teach
his friends heW to purchase tender geese,
though he could not always get them Ill
the market One morning he saw lot
and inquired of the farmer how many
there were ''About a dozen, :" was the re-
ply. sW-w-well," said Platt, II k-k-keep
b-boarding-house, and my b-b-boarders are
the biggest e-eaters you ever s-s-ssW.
P-p-piek out n-n-nine OF the t-t-toushest
you've g-g-got. The farmer complied,
and laid aside the other three tender ones.
Platt picked them up carefully, and put
ting them in his basket, said, II bible
lieve I'll t-t-take these three.
Johnnie. who is studying French histc-
ry, was observed at dinner yesterday saw
ing the relics of watermelon with a
chicken BONE s'What are you doing,
Johnnie 20 said papa. "Making tai
leaux,' said Johnnie. "What of ?" quer-
led papa. s'Bone-a-part crossing the rind,
YOU old lunatic," said the hopeful john
ME.
A romantic York girl thought to Maud
ullerize and ''rake the meadows sweet
with hay.' She stood over a yellow jack
cts nest as she swung her little rake.
First Jump from the score, eleven feet;
distance to the house half a mile. Time,
two minutes.
A cowardly fellow having kicked a
newsboy for fostering him to buy an ev-
ening newspaper, the lad waited until an
other boy accosted the gentleman and
then shouted in the hearing of all by
ISLANDERS cts no use to try him Jim, he
can't read"
.sWhat temper that boy has p eX-
claimed mother to her husband. IL
don't see where he got it not from me,
am sure.1' ''No, my DEAR replied the
meek husband; che didn't get it from
you, for l am sure you have never lost
any,"
A greenhorn sat a long time very atten-
lively musing upon cane-bottom chair
At length he said, II wonder what fellow
took the trouble to find all them al holes
and put straw around 'em -
Missouri sheriff asked q murderer if |
he wanted to make a speech on the GAL J
lows. and the man replied "Guess not, it |
looks like rain, and l don't want to get !
wet 60 on with the hanging.''a.
The man who recently attempted to
transact some business with the Heads of |
Departments was compelled to travel g.
OIL miles in visiting The various watering |
places.
..John, wish it was as much the cas-
tom to sell wives as it is to sell horses" |
eWhy so. Peter ?" ''Fd cheat somebody |
shockingly before night. y
''I'm not much for shtump spakin," de-
elared candidate at Dubuque, but fol- !
honesty and capacity and integrity [ bate
the divil, so do
A Boston lady in California Says the big
Strawberries on the Pacific coast have but |
little flavor, being a cross between a tur-
nip and a dried apple.
''ArtaxerXes," said MI. Marrowfat, sol |
EMMY, 'snever get married, my boy. Lit
tie do you know what an awful response
bility it is to upholster wife.
Our school boy remarks that when his
teacher undertakes to show him what is |