The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-05-17

with glsset stitch between, she can make u w
that way, instead of hutng the bobinet lnserlIoi
and piccing out with point applique Us SUE
gcstcd yesterday" The man Is now faNihl
maniac.
We have heretofore mentioned the patent edI
toria Kicking machine We knew II w"u''
work. Here is an instance
The Bogardus Patent Kicker has been appic'
with excellent effect upon one OF those peate u
newspaper officers almost rs troublesome rs sii'
exchange field 1t was at Evansville, III the once
of the daily Jouy7,al and the young man called te
have his name suppressed from police report
He sat in the fatal chair awaiting the decision o.
the editor, when the steam was turned on, ana IL
half an hour afterwards the Coroner was earn
ng his fees.
The thinner the bark the better the cinnamon
III.
How will this apply to dogs:
Missouri celery grows six feet tall.-Er,
At Washington salary grows $4,000 high y
B.-Ths is on Congressman.
John Coffee, wdower fifty years of age, with
a strong prediction for whisky, the other day
placed the muzZlc Of shotgun in his mouth
and fired it of by putting his toe in the loop OF
string, which he attached TO the trigger OF the
run The top of his head was very neatly blown
OFF,.
The cause of this rash act was not really wills
Ky, but that some woman threatened TO marry
him. 1t was question of death or victory" He
took death ain his'n"
Probably the only man who knows anything
about the provisions of A. T. Stewards will is A.
T. himself but a correspondent says that, in adj
dition to giving large sums for hospitals inu,
seums and other things, he will give his splcndid
mansion To the city for an art gallery. lie Is
seventy,four and never had any children.-hh
Because he is "a and never had any children IS
what ails the old party. If he had had EN- he
wouldn't have had to make will.
A clergyman at Paris, Ky, stopped his prayer
to lead an unruly man out by the ear, and went
on, As was saying, . LORD.
That muscular clergyman evidently desired
not 10 loose the thread OF his discourse.
A worthy Kentucky farmer being asked if a
daughter, recently married, was still living with
him, replied: "NO, sir! When one Of my gals
swarms she must hunt her own hiyc."-Kr.
When fellow down there gets married he
does not say, I'm going TO have wife" but
says, I'm g'winc TO hire gal"
A pet parrot was SO disgusted with the tumult
If moving day in Harrisburg that he signalzed
MS passage through the stress on the top the
unlturc wagon ny The most shocking profanity.
Well bet any Of our city draymcn can discount
that parrot, and with one eye shut!
A child six years old, living near Dwight was
bitten by a rattlcsnake last week, and drank three
quarts of whisky before the progress Of the poison
was stayed.-Er.
We know Of larger one than this: A fellow
1t Ottawa has drunk over ten barrels within
year, and wasn't bitten by snake either, though
he says he has seen lots of 'cm.
A rural capital may not be a bad thing. The
Dcs Moines, 1swa, Reporter says! Wheat SOW
ng has commenced in the north part Of the city;
n the south it will be quite generally through
with this week" Whcreupon Peoria newspa-
Der says: Think Of the capital OF q state with
100000 inhabitants being located IN wheat
ield!" But il might be worse. II might be lOca
ed in a corrupt, vicious and Goddess great town,
eady to introduce the country members to vices
which they had otherwise not known. A legis-
aturc sitting in a wheat field should have
primitive and bucolc simplicity, taking us back
o the stern beginnings OF ancient republics.
The peculiarly OF a Peoria ghost is that il
Nightly silently steals away with a sCuttle Of coal
md two sticks of cord wood.
1t is evidently cold down where that ghost
ives