Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-09-18

w hOh LIZ 40 NcttoOCf CUs
We are requested to ask how many
festive boards it will take to cover a
twenty by thirty barn.
THE individual that stole a march
has been put into the same cell with
Reconstruction, the thief of Time.
WHAT was the proverb that King
Lear heard from the lips of his two
daughters Go father and fare worse
WHAT is the difference between a
bare head and a hair bed? A bare
head fees for shelter hair bed is
shelter for heas.
This comes from Rhode Island
Here lies poor Johnny Pumblecod;
Have mercy ON him, gracious God
He would on you, if he were God
And you were Johnny Pumblecod.
JOSH BILLINGS says : "Fuss works
hard all day, and don't do anything;
goes to bed tired at night, then gifts up
next morning and begins where she left
oph,"
THE following is rather a novel way
of answering two questions at once /:
" You, Sal, what time is it, and where's
the chicken pie?" "'Tis eight (ate),
sir?"
SOMETHING THAT TAKEs.-The three
fold combination agency for selling Wealth
and Wonders of the BoundJess West" There
is much sure money in it, See advertisement.
A MoHAMMEDAN said to Christian
missionary: "Your religion gives me
three Gods and one wife-mine gives me
three wives and one God-I prefer my
own"
GA ROLLING stone gathers no moss. ;"
A very doubtful adage. We have
just seen in an exchange the marriage
of Peleg Rowlingstone to Miss Ophe-
liza Moss.
'SHALL cut this loin of mutton sad
dlewise % said q gentleman. No."
said one of his guests, "cut it bridle-
wise, for then / may have chance to
get a bit in my mouth.
"HAvE the jury agreed? % asked the
sheriff, as he met court attache on the
stairs with large pitcher in his hands.
+" Yes, sir they agreed to have gallon
of beer, and sent me out for 1t. -
"MARY, go into the sitting-room,
and tell me how the thermometer
stands" Mary, after investigating
cit stands ON the first mantel-piece,
Jest agin the wall, mem y
IT was expected the other day, when
Annie Dickinson rode to the top of
Pixies Peak, that she would make
speech on the occasion; but it seems
that, for once, she was willing to let
Pike speak alone.
THE Congregationalist sagely OBJ
serves "It is only in the pulpit that
striplings are preferred The profess
sions of medicine and law demand ma
turity The congregations seem to have
an appetite for veal.
SOME men seem to delight in wanton
destruction. An exchange says that
two men were lately seen tearing up the
street in neighboring city, and on the
same day several persons were observed
in the very act of pulling up the river.
"BoB, 1 have some idea of offering
myself for the legislature. Do you
think 1 will make good run ?" Why,
yes, Will, Judging from the sample
saw the other day, when the big stick
was drawn on you. / think you viii
make first-rate run"
A JOHN BULL, conversing with an In
dian, asked him if he knew the sun
never sets on the Queens dominions.
NO." said the Indian. "Do you
know the reason why?" asked John.
Because God is afraid to trust an
Englishman in the dark" was the
savage's reply.
"MAY it please your honor" said a
lawyer, addressing one of the city
judges, /" / brought the prisoner from
iail on habeas corpus" "Well,"
said fellow in an undertone, who stood
in the rear of the court, these lawyers
will say anything. saw the man get
out of cab at the court door.
A GERMAN divine, who had been dec
GRATED with title, sent to the unlver-
sity a request that the same degree
might be conferred upon his horse to
which he received the reply that there
was no precedent for bestowing the
honor upon horse, though the univer-
sity had in one case given it TO an ass.
els Miss Blinking at home ?" asked
Mr.. Saunders of the Irish girl who an
swered the ring at the door. Eyes, I
b'lave she is, SIR" Is she engaged ?"
can is it engaged you say? Faith an
I can't tell We, sir ; but she kissed Mr..
Vincent last evening as if she had not
seen the like NV him, an it's engaged
b'lave thew are. sir.
A PRETTY boy in Billtown became so
intimate with one of his fathers horses
that he received bad kick In the face.
The doctor sewed up his lip, bandaged
his eyes, and poulticed his cheeks.
After few days spent in bed, the lad
called for looking-glass. One glance
was sufficient Father" he mildly
cried, "do you think shall ever be as
OBJ M 49, -. ), =