Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-12-17
PARAGRAPHICAL.

| OOuTtCT-JOuItUt IdS Dcell It-tSlttDllSllCu'
The ssFresh Currents" man of the Gin
cinnGti Times is a genius.
| Nervous young men will be gladto learn
that "a Brooklyn genius has just produced
a patent ruff-foil for use by gentlemen
during the fervid period of courtship."
A scribbler having been locked out one
night lately by the wife of his bosom, was
| provided with lodgings by a newspaper
| friend, and abused his hospitality by writ
| ing the next morning:
| | slept in an editors bed last night.
When no editor CHANGED to be nigh;
| And thought, as / tumbled that EDITORS nest
How easily editors lie
A gentlemen connected with one of the
railroads centering this city says that he
don't drink whisky on account of its pleas
ant effects, for it has no pleasant effect for
him, but he drinks because of the influence
the habit has upon the travelling commune
ty.
This paragraph is clipped for the benefit
of down-trodden fathers who are required
to provide stamps for their daughters edu-
cation: "a young lady of Elmira, n. Y.
spent four years in learning Greek, Latin
French, and Spanish, and then married 9
vegetable pedler.'
A long-suffering county superintendent.
driven to desperation, fired at an importtl-
nate book agent yesterday, but no serious
injury was done, the ball striking the book
agent fairly on the cheek, Clipped off q
piece of metal and passed on.
A worthy Quaker thus wrote: 81 expect
TO pass through this world but once. If
therefore, there be any kindness can show
or any good thing l can do to my fellow
human being, let me do it now. Let me not
defer nor neglect it, for | will not pass tn is
way again.
A genius was eXpatiating upon the utility
of an India rubber ship which he was in
venting, when an old sailor exclaimed
''No, no. it will never do. An India rub
Der ship would rub out all the lines of lati-
tude and longitude, to say nothing Of the
equator ."-E Exchange.
"Them'sgood. The Guv'm ent makes 'en
nobody can't fuse to take them thar, kaSe
the Guv'ment makes EN-" kindly explained
the fragile Sandy Coclrill yesterday as he
pressed a couple of demoralized ten cent
shinplasters upon a fellow-African from the
rural districts. The ruralist received them,
though with evident reluctance.
4 Nashville young lady who was left to
''run the house." having occasion to season
some dish she was preparing, sent to a
neighbOring grocery for pound of CHINA
mon bark, but when her messenger re-
turned bearing package about the size of
half-buShel measure, she sent him back
a message to the effect that an ounce would
be quite sufficient.
This slanderOus paragraph is going the
rounds of the exchanges: 'TWenty-seven
Nashville ladies determined to practice
economy, vowed not to wear anythingmore
expensive than calico dresses to church, and
they stuck to it, as none of them have at
tended church since" The writer of that
paragraph has more hair on his head now
than he would have if he should visit
Nashville and make known his identity.
The proprietor Of an extensive Cherry
street peanut stand has heretofore furnished
employment to a number of Africans of inn
mature age, by engaging them to take
charge Of the complicated machinery by
which the DEMONSTRATING gOOber is roasted.
Last week he attached to said machinery
an automatic figure which does the work
required. Thus another industry is Grip
pied and honest labor thrown out of EN-
ployment.
Nashville boasts of very popular minis
ter, who is not exactly the shortest man ir
the world. He was met on the street
by countryman few days since. and as
they passed each other, the latter gazed sky
ward in order to take in the full length of
the other, and exclaimed, '.By George,
wish had him ont on my farm to pull fod-
der for me-" The same gentleman was
asked by a friend one day if he had not
been having his hair cut. NO" replied
the Doctor. ''Why do you ask" because
| met a man just below here carrying lad
der and big pair of shears
A sad affair occurred near the CAPT tol
yesterday. Two industrious book agents
representing the same publishing house,
approached one of the county superintend-
ents, and without giving the unfortunate
man any notice of their intentiO II, one of
them seized him by his beard and the hair
of his head and pulled his mouth open to
its widest extent, while his assistant at
tempted to thrust one of their books down
his throat. The cries of the superintend-
ent were heard, however, and he was re-
lieved from his embarrassing position.
4 correspondent has this to say: know
an old widOwer who is now living with his
fourth wife a most lovely and estimable
woman, who is nearly gone with the-quick
consumption; and know Of a dozen fasci-
mating females who are alarmingly profuse
in their eXpresiOsS of sympathy for him, in
the matter of his prospective bereavement.
| trust that they are prompted in their
words Of pity by motives of pure philan-
thropy. These disintereted women will be
a great comfort to him, poor man, when
she is gone.