The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1873-04-25

| CASACAto VI HIS ptSSlOu, we rear, JuOuSn
we mean no disrespect to Mr.. Spencer,
that ne would consider the philosopher
to be bore. But perhaps a few years
afterward, or possibly on the next day
if his suit should have come to an IN
timely catastrophe, he might be inclin-
! ed to take his passion to pieces, and he
would recognize the justice of most Of
| the remarks which we have summarized.
In that case he would perhaps find the
| explanation of some phenomena which
are little puzzling to by-standers,
though the lover himself has not the
leisure to attend to them.
Thus, for example, everybody is puz-
| zled by the extraordinary caprices of
! love-making. The ladies who say in
novels that they cannot understand
"what he could see in her. are general
| ly held up to ridicuIe as obviously
blinded by jealousy; and yet their
want of perception is not only sincere,
but is shard by perfectly impartial
spectators. When we see the way in
which marriages are brought about in
/
of matchmaking should be found so in
teresting by amiable persons. OF course,
matchmaking as a variety of fortune
hunting is only too intelligibte but
there is a matchmaking of a much less
sordid variety. All amiable women take
the keenest delight in attempting to
pair off their friends and relations ac-
| cording to their own views of the fitress
of things and yet they always meeting
with the strangest and, at first sight,
hemostunaccountable bledisappointments
| The man of intellect has an extraOrdin-
ary taste for stupid women the hand
some man of fashion is carried off by
| poor, ugly, and commonplace women,
ten years older than himself the POM
! pous prig secures the brightest and live
lest of her sex fortune-hunters attract
| poetesses, and poets marry wives who
can do nothing but mend their shirts
Such strange contrasts have led to the
development of the plausible theory
that people are attracted rather by
qualities complementary than by quail
/
however, fails by being too compreheu-
sive. We must admit that like oft an
attracts like and if we add that like
also attracts unlike, We have a theory
which explains nothing, because it cx-
plains every thing. Every match that
ever was or ever will be made may be
brought under one category ar the other;
but, until we can give some reason for
telling beforehand which set of causes
is likely to be operative in a given case,
we are no nearer an explanation than we
were before. The only general rule at
which we have been enabled to arrive
by experience is the rather discourag-
, ing one that people whom we like al-
ways marry people whom we disliEe.
Friends seem to have a perverse deli mt
in forming new combinations which may
be discordant as possible with their
ancient ties. We do not, however, see
our way to erecting any philosophical
theory upon this experience, unless as it
goes tn illustrate Artemus Wards dec
trine of the cussedness" of things in
general.
Mr.. Herbert Spencers analysis nay
perhaps help us tn understand some of
the conditions of the problem, though
the philosopher has yet to arise who
will be able to tell us, from the inspec-
ton of a young lady or gentleman, what
will be the character of his or her future
? partner. In the first place, it is to be
| remarked that some of the elements
} which he describes do not enter into the
] passion in many cases, or at least 10
not enter into its earlier stages. Self
? esteem, for example, is the reward of
r successful lOve-making, and strengthens
the passion when it has once been form
= ed; but it cannot be the primary caus e.
: Mere cOntiguity is very often sufficien
s explanation of the phenomenon. A man
= and woman, brought together in Robin
son Crusoe's island, would almost in
t evitably fall in love, however ulpromis-
2 ing their characters might be; AMI,
t though London is very unlike a desert
= island, there are frequently situation 5,
/ even in the most crowded societies,
u where conditions substantially simil n
q are reproduced. There are circum-
] stances under which it would be almost
D a breach of good manners not to indulge
: in a little Irritation. A human being
d has such variety of strong feelings il
j a state of solution that any object vii
h be sufficient to determine their crystal
:. lization. This is, indeed. the primary
e axiom on the subject We have all &
/ vast amount of dispOsuble emotion; we
g all long to admire and to be admired
Q We are grateful for compliments; wt
b wish to have something to call our own
e we want our sentiments to be confirmed
Z by sympathy and therefore, when once
). any accident has, so to speak, drawn thu
n sluiccs, a whole torrent of emotion
/, rushes into the channel provided for If
Y and we attribute to the one external an'
e assignable cause what really result
d from our own states of feeling becaus
II particular match has exploded tn
1t magazine, we absurdly argue that n,
d other match would have done equal.
ii well. We set up the first idol t g
ID comes to hand, and suppose that it
s. perfections are the sole cause of Ou
=, worship, when, in fact, the desire t
7s worship something has prepared us t
" PROSTATE ourselves before any shrin
IN that offers itself Love being a CON
re pound of so many forces, any one whic
Or is set IN action draws all the rest after
es by the principle of association. Blu