River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-10-07
Danburyisms.
From the Danbury News.

/. ~
than any other woman.
If there are any more cough remedies
invented we will have to go to work
invcnting coughs for them.
The question now arises among boys
whether they or the managers of the
school should furnish cigars at picnics.
AT the fire on Sunday morning a
Danbury man, in the excitement of the
hour, shouted " Keno instead of
=" fire, and his wife wants to know
where he was the night before.
To MAN who applied to Colonel
Berry for victuals, the colonel said,
Haven't you got any money 2"
No. said the man. Advertise
then, said the colonel; "that is the
way Z. L. Barnum made his money"
A HORSE ran away on Liberty street
on Saturday afternoon, and man on
the sidewalk. with wonderful presence
OF mind, threw his hat at the animal,
screamed fire, and Immediately jumped
over fence and Disappeared in eel.
lar-way.
MEN whose shirts are made at home
are rejolced that the hot term is almost
over. "A woman never attempts TO fit
shirt to her husband only on hot day
and when to make a move almost
STILES him.
PEoPLE may talk and write as they
please against the habit OF early rising,
but IN the bracing atmosphere of this
season, we know of nothing more in
MIGRATING than getting up at four
o'clock in the morning, and going forth,
with lantern i'll hand, to meet the
rising sun.
ANOTHER and very sure indication of
the departure of city boarders, is the
reappearance of the family cat at the
house, with coat that looks as if il
had been used to hold down buzz
saw, but with a hopeful expression in
her eye.
A PORTER on one of the Pullman
sleeping cars running on the New Ha
ven road, was asked by rustic-look-
ing passenger in shirt sleeves if he had
a nail handy He said he found place
for his coat, but he wanted a nail to
hang up his pants. The porter tainted
dead away.
A FRANKLIN-sTREET boy found a
pocketbook belonging to a Mill Plain
man, ON Saturday, and restored it to
the owner, who gave him five cent
piece. The boy looked at the coin an
instant, and handing it reluctantly
back, audibly sighed as he said, 81
can't change it"
A BIRD flew into the window of
house on Spring street on Saturday
and SO frightened tho lady that she
swooned away and was quite i'll during
the night. In the morning she was
strengthened by the broth and one
wing of the harbinger of death, which
her practical husband had prepared
for her.
A DIVISION street man got up before
dawn on Sunday morning, TO see the
sun rise, and was shot at by the exas-
perated owner of melon patch, next
door. In May last he made similar
effort, and was bitten on the heel by
strange dog. He thinks of hiring
boy to do the early rising tor his fam
ily.
Mr.. RYLANDs, of Slawson. was in
Danbury, yesterday, canvassing for q
society for the prevention of cruelty to
animals. He drove about until noon,
and then hitched has horse in front of
a restaurant while he ate his dinner
and smoked cigar. Then he Jumped
IN and drove around till night, and
then went home, very much disappoint-
ed in his humane undertaking. Ii is
not known how the hose felt.
AN absent minded smoker named
Yancy undertook 10 whisper something
of importance i'm the ear of old Mr..
Reynolds, Saturday, but in his absent
mindedness neglected TO remove his
cigar, the fire end of which was driven
right into the old gcntleman's ear.
Mr. Reynolds jumped straight up in the
air about six feet, and on coming down
split Yancy's nose by well directed
blow. Yancy picked himself up and
started for home, declaring in rage
that he'd be hanged before he'd tell
old Reynolds what he was going to.
THAT boy of Coyille's has been in
Trouble again. He was playing in Mrs.
Conveys yard. next door, right after
dinner, Thursday. file had Mrs.
Conveys dog harnessed TO wash boiler,
and was driving up and down cobble
walk, when that lady came out with
finger in each ear, and told him he
must clear out as she expected company
at two o'clock aud that his noise was
altogether too much for the occasion.
His obedience was more prompt than
she had any reason TO expect, or even
desire. In fact, he left at once, first
giving the boiler kick that nearly de-
capitated the dog mt both ends. Mrs
Coney was obliged 10 unhitch the dog
herself, which she did after catching
him. II appears that the bell at Mrs
Conveys door is somewhat stiff in the
spring, and rather difficult TO sound.
This fact was well known 10 young
Coville, and while Mrs. Coney was
chasing the dog, the youthful mis-
creant stole into the house, and with
the help of file fixed that door bell
so il would pull easy. At two
O'Clock promptly, the pastor of Mrs.
Coney's church came up on the stoop
OF Mrs. Conoy's house, and being aware
that the bell pull required consider