Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1873-12-18
Easy Reading.

NdSG say . IlC HIS UGOll OllCI dSAGO
by friends to draw Il caricature of them
just for fun. Sometimes he complied,
and they would at first appear to enjoy
the joke, but a shade of veXatiOn
would steal over their faces and they
would generally go off in a huff.
A man with soEe wit and a very
long nose met neighbor one frosty
morning who sang out, "HaIloo,
Smith; met the end of your nose
back here piece, and saw it was com.
pletely frozen" mo fault Of mine,'
said the undisturbed Smith; Il rub
bed it as far as l could reach"
The drummeTs came down like
wolves on the told, their toes were all
frosted, their noses all cold. Their
weather peeled bugles soon shown
money and salted it down, then took
few orders and lit out of here, with
their heads full Of business and skins
| full of beer.
Mrs. Sarah Briggs, (who is perusing
the paper )-"Sakes alive, l wouldn't
no more name Il child Alias than moth
in i'll the world! They're always cut
ting up some caper! Here's Alias
Thompson, Alias Williams, Alias the
Night Hawk, all been took up for steal
ing. Mary Jane, don'tye never name
none oyer children Alias.
An old Troy river man says he is
disgusted to hear people now a-days
talk OF low water in the Hudson. He
remarks that he can remember well,
years ago, when the river was low
He asseverates that one time all tie
passengers on the New York boat had
to close their windows during the en-
tire passage down, because the steam
er's wheels made such dust!
In North Bridgcwater, Mass, last
spring, an elderly citizen, while plant
ing potatoes, lost his pockethook.-
When the time came for him to dig
the potatoes, the hoe brought out of
the hill his missing receptacle Of cash.
We suppose that he must have been
shagt during the interval, for he testi-
ly remarked that 81 was the poorest
crop he ever planted
A western paper is authority for
stating that Galesburg man, in a
public place, recently, display ed unu-
sual affection for his wife, whereupon
she grew uneasy and re nonstrated
against his attentiods as too marked
for public observation. 1.-The duce ~
said our friend, e'ain't we married ?''
Yes said his better half, but judg
ing from your department, folks will
think we amt"
Some originality has at last found
its way into tue obituary columns of
the Philadelphia Ledger:
Lay aside his little trousers,
That our darling used to wear.
He will never on earth want them,
He has climbed the golden stair
THE ''SCANT EFFECT" FASHION M.
H. B. writes to the Missouri Republi
can that the EXTREMIST phase of tue
scant effect was reached by a lady, who
walked up Fifth avenue in q navy blue
camers hair dress. Not pucker or a
visible seam or particle of trimming
broke the beautiful surface of that wo-
man. She was one unbended level
and how she got into that sraight jack
ct cf a dress l couldn't imagine till
! took q rear view of her, and mind she
was buttoned up behind from neck to
hem. Two ohtrusive boX-pleats lurk
ed in a shy way each side of the open
ing; otherwise that garment looked
: like bloated pantaloon leg. A wall
well, she couldn't walk very well and
in case of fire that woman would ht
fried in her own fat. You see, ecOno
my must begin somewhere. If clotl
is used for the ruffs, why the skirts
must suffer, and mercy knows what il
required for the big silk fences built uT
about the female heads just now.
| Or I EGWot
ish der CASHIER :" calculated the
breathless Teuton as lie bounded VI
;. the steps into the door.
A courtlY gentleman made bland re
sponse, Il am the cashier, sir; wha
can we do for you to-day?
= Wat gan you do vor me, sacrement
Dot ish hell NV node, amt it? d.
vor me? Herr Got doDnerwetter ant
Il zoifenblazen / wants dot monish-
mine gold vat make deposid nit dis
tam pank poorly soon last summer
II and
I'VE have temporarily suspendo,
g payment, sir. by an arrangement simi
lar"
Arrangements similar ter tuyval !!
broke in our Hebrew friend; "vot O.
l want NIT your tam arrangements
e wants dot mon sh-five thousand dol
# lar dat l makes deposid here all de
= vile, und wants him poorly quick
too, oof you don't wants drooble
right awayr
: "Calm yourself, my friend, and le
e us talk, this matter over. 1 shall b
Q glad to certify your checks for you
balance with US, and"
e Certify nodings. Vat you thinks
vas tam fool! Here here! (pound
ing the counter with his fistl | want
e dot monish-dot gold-efry cent. un
IS wants him righd away, queek, ov Il
# ordor make you heap O drooble
d poorly soon! Geef me dot monish-
! dot greenbacks-dot ish vat want :
d Make him ownt queek and goes rigl
# away off, und you can go nit ter tuy
e vel und your tam pank"
t. Seeing their was no way Of reason
q ing with his excited customer, the casl
: ier turned to his paying teller and sal,
II "Mr. - cash this mans check fc
e his balance in full"
- A Mr.. Dahm runs a stove an
hardware SfOrp nm ot EaUlo HarbOl