The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1873-09-04
.'Pretze,."
CHICAGO, Chuli, pooty near J
Yune. 1873.

year Ola Oolt tlstOtS vas Ofer now,
und der usual number of occidents
hafe occurred, uud in many cases der
ceremonies at all der CRATE yards out
vas very. y.impressif. Der oxcitements
attendin der National Chewbilee vas
all right, but here vas divcrsidy Of
obinion, friend by me got his thumb
finger shod out, und he did oxclaim
mit sbtrong emphasis, dot he "vishcd
dot der tellers vot built der 4th of
Chuli vas where obey could got der
shmell Of blimshtone about der seat
Of dheir pandyloons, und hold a sea.
son ticket to got in.'
git my sympody to dose fellers
vat got used ub on dot day, on &C.
kound l vas one OF en- A soda
cracker vas shtrike me Of my face,
and for more as Yeek my eye vas
blue black OF my noze. Now VIC
iellers need der sympody (und we
can use dot) OF all, for idishplayln 20
much patriotism.
Dose old White vigged fellers, Mat.
Coltax, Schuyler Carpenter und Boss
Dweed vot thramed der Conshiitoo-
tion und built der 4th OF Chuli, IDIOT
vas Indignation day. und who dook
back pay for dot too, will, SO keep me
gracious, got moro droubles pooty
soon yet. Dhere vas shtill some
more back pay yet to dook, und der
way dot dhey will got it, will tell
you. Now, for lnshtinst, nine dog
Shneid vas beautiful Scotch shnufr
darrier dog. One day he vas bite my
leg init dwo blaces off. SO l dinks
dots besser oier I gif him some
death, as | don'd like pooty veil o
dog vat cotch der hydraulics. SO I
dook him OF my back garten out und
BY leedle hickory walnut dree, 1 mako
a cham got round his neck und ties
him loose by der drec; dhen 1 dook
a club shtick und makes his head &c
by dot shtick so long vot can
shtand ub. Pooty gwick dot dog
vas go..died, shiill dot vas make mo
noting out, yoost pounds me der
dead body of dot dog tor more as an
hour longer. Pooty cwick a man
vas come Of me, und he say: "Carl
Pretzel, vat for you Whip dot dog, he
vas dead, he can make you noting
more trouble" "Yah. I know mo
dot dog vas dead like post hole
for more as an hour long, but I want
dot dog TO undershtand, und you und
all other dogs to know dot dhere
cas- pMnsshnsent after DEATH"
Dot seddles 1t, und as you could.
n't play hide and chicken coop init
der tuyful. nor serf God und vim
minis at der same time, dots besser
we put . goot abettite on der tomb
shtoncs Of dose departed out heroes.
Dhere don'd vas many oxcitements
here ladely. I called on Ger Mayor,
but as be don'd vas in, IYcost sh poke
to bis horse outside.
A prominent mans died here der
odder day. Singular as dot may
seem, dbere don'd vas someting der
matter nit him, only dot leedle vile
ago he made will Citing all his brc.
bertY to his physician.
Ofer you got sore place, nadure
will cure dot, und desc doctors will
got pay.
For an hour long hafs peen run.
ming around bareteeted to got so,nc
items, und at last l found me one,
but it prooied to lbeen a conundrum,
und dis vas dot: Il dook hum ub.
und l couldn'd find dot; put him
down, und dook him nit me-" Now
who vas dot? Veil, he vas shlifer
init my toe.
| ! vent to church der odder night,
und | felt ehleepy like der deuce.
und after der following text vas g,t
out, vent to shlcep IAN angel
came down from heaven and took .
live coal from off the alter" When I
come home my frow vas ask me
who vas der text?" Veil, told
her it vas someting about an Inchun
vat coined from Now Haven out, uud
dook live colt by der tail Of his
breeches, und 'jerked him bis collar
oul. Veil, could bet your lite, dot
4 vas pooty sick Of my head after my
rendition Of dot text, und o.er any
Of der many readers vas ask you
now, who vas der reason NIT Pretzel
yoost told dem dot der arkument
init my frow about dot text vas so
convincing, dot I hafe worn Man.
sard root by head efer since. ss
sa Yours for Dhfue, @&a
eaa e1Fee OAaL PRrrzEL. j
a w. II. Eastou, OF Adair. Co. ia the