The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-02-15
gttn'pa sree GRADER.
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The Free Trader i. soon to b. published by
steam and also enlarged. If Beemus amt care
full he'll get blowsd rp.-Odeh Weekly.
Oar experience in the way of being 'blowed
up is such that We don't fear the most vigorous
effort of the steAniengine in this direction.
Tho Prophet.towa Spike is \ good local paper.
but will never become popular until 1t changes
ITS name, as the ladies will under condition
use it in their panniers.-|F hitesiJe Sentinel.
We ssgyest that IN. dear creatures might
manage it by wearing shield or coat of mail
under their psnnisr.
4 country newspaper in Minnesota wants TO
know who 'swiudled the Indians out of such
Internal cold country as Minnesota Is, and who
deluiei the white people into it, Sure enough.
No wonder Hiawstha caught her death OF cold,
when the Thermometer was at 30 below zero.
This is mean way in which to welcome a
brother into the cause of tempernuce
Conlsy, of the Wilmington -4drocae, has
sworn Off No more corn juice for him, and tbs
result is, the people of that portion of tbs corn-
try have gone to burning their corn.
The Commercial, .Idrertiser perpetrates the fol-
lowing: 'Henry Ward Beecher, colorsd min
lister of Memphis, has fallen into ceep disgrace
with his congregation, account o. the soanda
Ious charge. of Victoria Woodhull. The Rev.
innocent is sorely distressed because his flock,
who are indignant, won't believe him when he
says 1T must have been some other Niger.
There is something in name.
Ia an editorial on the horse disease, the Con-
grdgationa!iN suggested that it might be we'll to
sit at the feet OF horse and learn humility.
just so,' SAYS the California Macs Letter, sit
down Mt the hind feet OF mule and if he don't
humiliate you, pull his tail aud tickle tho inside
of his legs with a stable fork"
'One thing is certain says the y. Y. HeraN
mo representative who has written C. NJ before
his name in letters of corruption should be any
longer allowed to write M. c. alter it,
An event has happened to the editor of the
Joliet Sun, and it is down in rhym thusly
Haywards pleasures have just begun
He's as happy AS clam in high water;
Hereafter he will attend to the SIN,
While his wife attends to the daughter.
II there is anything more to be commended
than another it is perseverance in doing good
Here is an illustration
A foolish man il Wisconsin took hold of a
mules tail and tried to drive him into the barn
His widow says, he never could stick to any.
thing more than three minutes
Here is an argument in favor of carrying cigar
cases
An engagement was broken OF by Young
man about town for the following cogent reason:
10. .e,,1
and always carry my Sugars loose in my waist.
coat pocket. The necessary amount of affection
toward Molly very hard on EN-. Never
came away from that house bat every one of
EN- Was smashed. Couldn't xpeot fellow to
use good tobacco that way, could you?
AS for us, however, it is matter of no conse.
guence whether we carry our cigars loose or not
We never run any risk Of getting one damaged IN
the manner above indicated We could carry
egg shells in our breAs. pocket with periec,
safety.
Al exchange thus ao.ly hints off the ABSURD
custom OF country editors making paragraph
of the most triGing matters which are OF no pos.
eiblc interest to any one.
'Mr. sHebron, Of Nelson street, has siguaily
improved the avenue by setting up hi,chng.
post in front of his pala.ial residence. The piec.
Of statu.ry is OF chestnut aud received ito grace.
ful proportions and delicate finish from tho well
known Italian aw.mil Of Ike Giddinss, in
Dumplins Hole district, 1t is painted yellow,
aud ne beautiful knob on the top To the
wsyia.,,as man it imp,rts feeling o.. security
and rest, that beggers description
The Eichmord DeSpu.ct says the Hon. John
Pool, OF North Caroiins, who is urged for cabi.
net appointment, is covered with conlueut pus.
tules OF Disgrace No use. You can't scare the
rest Of tnc cabinet that way. They've ell had
it,-N T. Sun.
\ good joke is told in Washington at the ex.
pen, o. well known Senator, who i, notorious
for taking two cocktails il succession betor.
b-leasvs. Oae morning, while the Senator was
prsc.,a.at a. the Metropolitan bar, u friend pu.
- Ai- ... pertinent question: Senator, why
d ~. .s,e two cocktails as a custom Won't
oae tone yoG" The Senator drew himself up :
y w.lt.,l you Why ..ke two cocktails. When
l hay, t1EeR one it makes me feel like another
man, Well, you see lm bouad by common
courtesy TO trea. that man; 80 then take =
second
Tuat nervous youth in louisville who. by m:..
take slipped uicSe. five cent piece into tho par
sons hand instead Of five dollar gold piece,
which he had ready in another pocket, after
three weeks OF welded blis,, ,hiuk. 10 PAID pref.
y dear for his fun after all, AID now regrets
that the nickel was net suspeuaer button
f.tVt'v |lg,.1y.E