Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1873-07-19
Deadbeat and his Friends.

| AAAN ms ANhNoe
The deadbeat is an individual who
trades upon another persons capital,
says Josh Billings.
They are common to all grades ov So
ciety, from theseedy loafer klear ND tew
the sanktifed gentleman, with stand
ing kut collar, and a nekti stiff and
white as perfekshun.
Sumtimes they liv entirely upon their
necessitys, and at others seem tew
praktiss the profeshion more tew dis
play the eleganse of their genius than
for ennything else.
They are possessed ov every grade of
kapacity, from no btanes at all, to more
than they know what to do witt.
They occupy posishun little more
respektabel than komon thief, and a
good deal less respectable than hi
wayman.
The dedbeat, in point of average hui
manlty IL the meanest, and the most
debilitated, ov all the scum that rises
tew the surface ov sosiety. They work
harder tew make themselves detested
than they would hav to be respekted by
everybody.
They hav no friends that they won't
defraud, and ar az mutch terror tew
others, and kalamity tew themselves
as mad dog at large.
They liv upon the disasters and kre-
dulitys ov human natur, and tho more
dastardly at heart than kommon pick.
pocket, often liv out whole life bi the
force of their geuius with no wus stain
than doubtful reputashun.
Thare amt no artiice nor philosophy
that will protekt us from the low kun
ming and brazen impudense ov the ded
beat.
He is a nitemare and walking pesti-
lence at noon tide.
He works his way into the konfdence
of others Shiny az a snaik, and when he
gifts thare don't hesitate tew feed upon
the most rare and sakred fruits he kan
find.
He IL a kommon enemy that every
one abhors, and no one kan protekt him
self against.
The ruff tyrrany of a bully, the coarse
overreaching ov blatant knave, the
refined fraud ov an open villain, the
brushing defeat of bold operator at
worst, oftimes only wounds our vanity
or awakes our surprise, but the sneaking
ded beat whoze CRATE ambishun seems
tew be loafer in petty plunder always
excites our horror and arouses our feel
lngs ov vengeance.
The ded beat is a human hyena who
hunts the helpless living, and digs up
the buried ded, he is lost to all shame
here upon earth, and to all salvashun
hereafter
The wolf is one of the meanest speci-
mems ov animated natur, but when he
puts on sleeps clothing he robs him
self OF his own courage and steals
weakness to hide filthy wickedness in.
All men abhor the ded beat; he is
lower down than the angle-worm, who
burrows in the ground and feeds upon
lirt.
There amt no man upon earth but
what has been sometime beat by these
morbid vermin. They are the lice of
Egypt and the murrain of old.
They kun upon you in yure sad and
5ender moments with the stealthy tired
" a bed-bug. In yure hour ov tri-
lmph they stand reddy to steal yure
aurels, and when despair envelops yu
ike kloud, they discover the signal
rom afar, and kun trooping up like
he nasty buzzard, tew fatten upon the
iorps.
Thare amt no retorik vivid enuff to
paint theze devils, only in water colors.
Chare amt no anathemas that can reach
% the bitterness of truth. Thare amt
10 logick that kan make them see them
elfs az others see them.
The ded beat livs out hiz days, the
'nly kreature we kno ov without emmy
and never tew feal the i'm
'ulse ov manly hope.
He dies finally, and goes WHARF the
'irtewous don't, for he kant, with all
lis maliss and Running, beat death
Tor the devil.