The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-14

ii
lance between love and admiration, be il eve
so enthusiastic But how bitter i conviction
against desire! How ravashing!y despair
ingly sweet seems love in others when to u
denied could no longer contemplate il
fled away to solitude and the first tear
which | remember Happy Lulu, who hay
ing nothing, yet had all Miserable me-
queen who despiscd her kingdom, who woulC
have given all the jewels in her Scepter TO
loves rose!
Rivaux was Frenchman, versatile and i'm
aginative. When he came on the morrow Il
give NE my first sitting could see that my
| idea had taken strong hold Of his fancy tina
he anticipated me whom he should paint al
ready rivaled my living self in his arts
soul A strange piquc and jealousy stirred
| in my heart; would have rctracted my OF
fer, only that | feared any inconsistency OF
mine might possibly suggest to him its cause
so timid does one become who has aught to
| conceal.
But | had condemned myself to slow tor
ture to exquisite torment, as sat before The
man whom loved with all my soul, to give
TO him my sOulleSs image, and saw, day aitcr
day the beautiful insensate thing upon the
canvass absorb and satisfy him more com
petcly Unrccognized, Unwooed, the woman
watched as he painted the goddess, listening
even as one might to the praise of rival, to
the raptures over form and Coloring in which
he INDUCED as his work progressed, my
lips thirsty for the kisses of a lover, while
his brush fingered about the smiling mouth
of the portrait as if loath TO leave il.
AT last the portrait was completed, and be-
fore it RivauX stood with exactly the same
expression upon his face that remembered
it had worn on the day of his declaration to
me. All me how very well, how cruelty
well, had this substitution Suttced
him.
"Tomorrow,"h he said, more TO himself than
to me, without turning his eyes from the pic
turc, tomorrow shall come to take it with
me, for | never, never can Leave it behind
when | go"
What" said rising and stretching out
my hands involunarily, as if to stay him ;
but he did not notice, still absorbed in con
my image "You are going away,
Rivanx? Where, them"
Yes" he said, drcamily. I've are going
away somewhere, over seas hardly know
where we shall make port My bride" lay
ing his hand very caressingly upon the can
vass and smiling a little at the picture, will
not be difficult
| slipped away and left him there before
The picture only too sure that he would never
miss me, then, as in the future, when he
should be cover seas, for all of me for which
he cared his brush had obtained for him.
But even in the bitter agony that surged over
ME at the thought that | should behold him
no more did not regret that my beauty was
10 accompany him without my soul, for if |
had learned more certainly any lessons in
hose hours while he painted me, it was that
only love can satisfy love- that wife wooed
or beauty alone is but mistress, who must
remble at every moon that brings nearer ages
breath, who must forever fear lifc's !
thousand accidents and chances which sur.
Ound one.
Yet he was going away, whithcr scarcely |
new, nor for how long, and loved him; | |
cmemhcrcd that, and that only, when night !
anne, night which is friendly alone to the |
Apply whose shadows darken still more
ecply Swallowed hearts.
Sleep was long coming to me, but | fell |
naly into the heavy slumber of exhaustion
tell us that any estimation of
he duration of time in dreams by the feelings |
r seeming events taking place therein is i'm |
possible, but surely 1t was hours that noun
ain lay on my breast, that a monsters Chok- !
ne hand clutched at my throat BIT | gasp
d and struggled into waking reality at
asst
The room was full Of smoke, dense and |
finding, and without its doors heard rush
nd cracking as of flame. | felt my way
izzily to the door that opened into the hall,
ut already the staircase front and back, were
Il fire, cutting off my escape.
My room communicated with that in which
iyaux had set up his easel, and thither |
ent and crouched down by the side OF my
Drtrait, rs if that could give me some com
in death, for in less than five
inutcs from the time of my awakening |
nd cOmprehendcd that the house was on fire,
at had been forgotten and that there was
,thing left for me but to wait the coming Of
e fierce, red-tongued fend, that writhed it
If every moment nearer the door Of the
,artment in which was.
The smoke had nearly smothered me in my
eep, | suppose, for all my senses seemed
llled ard supplied, and | did not even
ink to go to the window and try to attrac;
tention, so that might escape ii, pcrchance,
lip could be rendered nc in any way from
low. :
"Ah, me" | murmurcd to my unconscious !
uble I'VE shall perish together, but you, at ,,
lst, he will regret
All, sad is death when it takes one beyond :
yes reach, but bitter and drsolate indeed it :,
ms to look forward to a grave that shall .
watered by no tear A grave, Should
cr have grave or would the four winds OF 7
aven scatter my ashes whittier they listed : !
horror of death, of such annihilating swift
nsuming death, of such utter, sudden moth q,
gnesS, seized upon me at this thought. .
oveicd in agony and despair upon the floor, :
hind the picture, with my head buried in a :
How, to dcaden as much as | might the +,
cr louder rustling of lie rapidly approach. -
. flames u
suddenly became aware Of noise at one
the windows, of II presence within the q
ON. Before could raise my head or speak, !,
hand had snatchcd the picture from the !"
sci, and turned 20 fly. :,
II was RivauN, come at the peril Of his life -
save my portrait, while l. forgotten and un.
ought Of was LETT to perish. Nature =
ainst my will, against my pride, uttered !.
c cry that burst from my lips as he turned :.
the window, unhceding me =
Great heavens he calculated at the call. u
c you here, Regina? Come, there is not :, !.
oment TO be lost To the ladder-you 90
st"
| staggered to my feet, but in the moment