Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-23
THE TWO SMITHS.
How William Smith Got a Wife and
How William Smythe Missed
Getting One.

himself by brief ramble.
"Heigho r' he muttered to himself. SIT
remains to be seen what will be the upshot
of this visit to my rich old bachelor uncle,
my only surviving relative. Is 1t at all
likely the whimsical old humorist, whom
have not seen since childhood, will suit me
or that l shall suit him? How can expect
that he will fancy a good for-nothing fellow
who never did any business in his whole
life? Will he pay my debts and make me
his heir? Ny whole London life has been
a failure, ahd the only agreeable episode
was my trip to Bath. Poor Sophy Wrug-
giles! l believe she loved me sincerely.
But acted honorably. When found my
heart was engaged, tore myself away
without an explanation. For what had
to ofsr her-I, bankrupt in hope and
purse?"
As he unused thus mournfully he came
in sight of handsome villa. As he paused
to survey it, a smart servant in spruce liy-
cry advanced along the road, and, after
glancing at him sharply, touched bis hat
and said respectfully,
"Mr. Smith,"
That's my name"
"Thsnk ye, thank We, sir" said the fell
tO"S hAOAu Odi W cali au0
on his heels, he ran off and disappeared.
As Mr.. Smith advanced he saw q white
flag flying on the lawn, and he heard tue
sound of distant music. As he approached
nearer, gate in the thick hedgerow opened,
and portly gentleman in black, with spot
less white waistcoat, suddenly appeared
with both hands extended.
"My dear boy" said he, "welcome!
Anc1
better. 1t speaks well for your gallantry.
But where's your uncle?"
81 haven't seen him yet, sir, and hear
he's unwell."
"Well, WE'LL" said the old gentleman, 81
hardly expected him. You don't look quite
well yourself-a little pale, nervous. No
matter, it will soon be over, hey? Well,
you don't look bit like the old man; / ex-
pected to find you shorter and stouter. I
thought Sophy must have been mistaken in
your appearance"
"Sophyw exclaimed Smith, more and
more bewildered.
Gay, ay, my boy! She told me all-how
she met you at Bath and loved you, and
how you suddenly disappeared, You had
TO idea of entering into an arrangement for
life without seeing your intended, and,
faith, don't blame you for it. When l
was Of your age, wouldn't have married a
girl to please thousand uncles till salts
fed myself. But you never let your uncle
know about that trip to Bath. Sly dog!
But come along"
So saying, the officious old gentleman
seized the arm of the bewildered Smith and
ushered him into the drswing-room, where
fat woman rushed into his arms and sa-
luted him on both cheeks, and then burst
into passionate fit of tears.
''Oh desr!" said she; ''this is the happiest
and ssddest day of my life! I'm sure you're
very nice young man, and will take the
best care of my daughter; and your uncle's
dear, good creature. But Sophy is my
all-excuse mothers feelings, Mr.. Smith"
"Mrs. Wruggles, Mrs. Wruggles, comp1se
yourself" said the old gentleman.
"Sophy Wruggles is really the girl, then,
after all" thought Smith. "My uncle is
certainly an odder man than even the world
has given him credit for, to manage such q
surprise for me, and to leave me to tumble
into happiness without the least suspicion
of the felicity before me-"
But his meditations were cut short by
the entrance of the fair Sophy. Mr.. and
Mrs. Wruggles led her forward, and then
discreetly left the room. Smith caught her
in his arm, and her head reclined upon his
shoulder.
"My dear angel" cried Smith. "TelI me
if l owe this happiness to your own free
will, and not to your filial obedience?"
"Can you ask me, William" replied the
bride, blushing and looking up in his face.
"What strange courtship ours has been!"
said Smith-"carried on in the language of
the eyes alone"
"Yours were so expressivel" said Sophy.
''Do you remember Bath?"
"Can l ever forget the pump-room!" cried
the lover.
DECIDEDLY we were formed for each 9TH
er."
"Sophy!" cried the voice of the maternal
parent.
"Coming, motherl Excuse me, dearestl"
| cried Sophy; and tearing herself from her
{ lovers arms, she sped out of the room.
''Ot course this is a Dream" said Smith;
''but it's very pleasant while it lasts"
"FOr you, sir" said the livery servant
Smith had met in the lane, entering and
presenting package and letter on a sill
yer salver. Smith dismissed the msn,
opened the letter aud read:
"MR. WILLIAM SMYTHE: Your uncle
has begged me to write because he has the
govt in his hand and can't bold pen. He
begs me 10 say that he wishes you all sorts
of happiness, but he can't think of being
present at the ceremony. He sends you
herewith hundred guiness and letter of
credit on his banker, aud will expect you
as soon as the honeymoon and your tour on
| the Continent are ended. Humbly wishing
| you Joy, for myself l remain,
''SIMoN SLOW"
~ don't know this Simon Slow" thought
Smith, "but l suppose he's my uncle's
| steward. The fellow thinks to compliment
me By spelling my name Smythe."
OF course he pocketed the money with
out demur, and prepared to go through the
ceremony with the easy grace and nOncha-
lance of man of the world.
After breakfast the carriage was an-
nounced. The devastating was hurried
through, the happy couple took their seats,
ard away they went behind four span king
bays at a rattling rate down the same road
up which the unconscious bridegroom had
strolled in melancholy mood that very
morning. As he glanced out of the win
dow, he saw fat pedestrian in drab gaiter:
toillng along. But little did Mr.. Smith sus
pect who that unfortunate was.
While Mr.. and Mrs. Smith are speeding
Cd their bridal tour, let Us follow up the
little fat pedestrian. He walked into the
house and also into the presence of Mr.
Wruggles.
spray, sir, to whom am l indebted fo
the honor of this visit ?" asked Wruggles,
"Vy, sir" replied the little man, with thu
same phraseology Of politeness and frigic
severity of manner, 81 simply came to pay