The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-04-03
OUR CHIP-BASXET.

When does man sneeze three times !
When he cant help it.
A backward spring" is produced, by pre-
scnting red-hot poker at mans nose.
Tho reporters interviewed in Louisiana
prisoner until he begged pitcously to be
hanged.
England holds ':inch-of-eandle" auctions.
The bidding must be through before the
inch of candle has burned out.
There is a..woman at Duluth who weighs
3GO pounds AT little distance. it is difficult
to tell which is the larger Of the two, the
town or the woman.
a Western paper informs the public that
board for the summer can be obtained Fat
large and shady brick gcntleman's resi-
dencc
Ben. Butler says he never gave but one
note in his life. and an Eastern paper is
mean enough to say that he never paid
that.
When they do manage to get the people
of Thompsonviile, Conn, into church, the
sexton is obliged to lock the door to keep
them there until the service is over So
says the local paper.
A young fellow got off smart thing last
week 1t was mustard plaster that he sat
Gown on just before retiring for the night.
A Minnesota paper vaunts the rapid in
crease of its circulation, having "taken in
seventy-fve cents, cash. and bushel Of
potatoes on subscription this week."
The mother Of the Grachii being asked
where her jewels were, pointed to her sons.
A young man being asked the same question,
pointed to the nearest pawn-broker's shop.
A negro was put upon the stand as wit
ness, and the judge inquired if he under
stood the nature Of an oath. "For certain,
boss, said the citizen; "ifI swear to lie,
l must stick to himp'
Rev. DIR David Winters, of Dayton, Ohio,
has solen,nized 1925 marriages. The last
couple made happy was a wealthy farmer.
aged seventy, and maiden Of fifty years.
The New York Sun says that "the people
should not forget that the Republican party
has large majority in both houses Of Con-
gress" That is fact which the rascalities
Of that majority will never let tho people
forget. -...
A marin Kansas accideatly fell into vat
Of fbeiIing water aud .waskilled. His bereav-
ed children erected tomb STONE to his men, :
ory, with the brief but touching inscription,
"Par- boiled"
An Eastern scholor, after several hours
mental fortune. produced the following prize
essay: IAN OK does not taste as good as an
oyster, but he can run faster"
They have a Judge in Kansas who fined
lawyer for saying sac transit. The official
thought it was swearing, and remarked,
Indignantly, that nobody should 'sick" him
in that court.
'Thc calculation of angles described by
the impingcment Of spherical surfaces" is
the way Chicago clergyman got around
the word billiards on recent Sabbath.
A Missouri woman said she gave railroad
conductor Il SO bill he said it was u two;
she insisted lie persisted; she took out re.
yclyer and snapped it, and he gave her the
eight dollars balance, not wishing to have
any dispute with a lady.
A friend. writing Of the death of an
estimabable lady, said: : rShe has now gone
to her eternal rest" His dismay can only
be family imagined when, upon "proof"
of his obituary notice being sent to him, he
read, ''She has gone to her eternal roost."
A Connecticut young woman pro- pounds
n conundrum, to wit: What does the man
mean when, on the day of his wedding, he
says to his bride, With allmy earthly goods
| thee endow, knowing that at his death she
will only gctone third!'
"You ought to lay up something for a
rainy day" said an anxious father to his
proHigate son.
"And so have" replied the youth.
what"
San umbrella
"Ma," said a little Watertown urchin,
peeping from beneath the bed clothes, Il
am SO cold; want some more cover on the
bed. "Iie still, my near said the mother,
until your sister comes from church; she
has got tho comforter for bustle'
Messenger boys in the Pennsylvania Legis-
laturc arc sent out after ink and when
they return with it the said fluid is silly pass
ed around among the members, who wipe
their mouth and groan: "A, that was
good
A bright little boy hearing his father say
that man ought to stick to his business"
emptcd Il bott, of muciage in the old gen.
tlemans Office chair. The old man says hc
has not been stuck so badly since 1851, and