davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08
NUMBER 80.
Danberries.

The civil war in Morocco having been
suppressed, Danbury man is glad he
waited until now TO purchase his wiie's
shoes. ftf
A DASBURY man woke i'm the middle of
the night to comment upon the eXtraordi-
nary fact that the heaviest end OF match
is its light end.
1T Is pleasant to remember that not an
hour passes in the increasing march OF
time, but that there Is a half-dressed man
somewhere on the earth calling for shirt.
A NEWLY married couple, who we're to
take the train at Brewster ,for Albany,
were mucn disappointed to learntiere was
not a "palaee carr ON the, train, but hoped
TO compromise on a state-room. And
didn't get that. Welded life isnot With
out its thorns.
A BRooKFIELD lady, hearing that silk
was preventive of cholera, has guarded
against the dread scourge by complete
pattern in the new shade of green, with
polanaise. She doesn't intend 10 get sick
and be bill of expense to her husband, II
alittle precaution can prevent it.
THERE was a woman in Danbury, one
day last week, who had just lost her father,
and being q woman in destitute circum-
stances, was obliged TO bega suit Of clothes
to fit her parent for the silent tomb. The
people she applied to cheerfully combined
their resources, and provided her with a
respectable looking coat, n. vest, . pair Oh
pants, and shirt. There was one article
not vet furnished. Ii was q hat for the de-
ceased. None OF them had thought OF
that. The bundle was reopened, and the
funeral is indefinitely postponed.
EVEN the broadcast intellect andthemost
experienced management occasionally
make failure. There was an italian at
the fair selling red balloons. Whenever
| he took up position il was known by the
cluster ofred balls swinging above his head.
1t was while making change foracustomer
that he put the string which held his wares
in his mouth, and itwils whilesthe string
was thus secured that he undertook TO
make an observation on the general appear
ance of the weather, and an ascension inl-
mediately followed. At 4:30 p. IN. he took
the train for Italy.
| A GENTLEMAN who lives in Danbury. re-
centlyread an article setting forth the evil Of
two persons sleeping together. lie became
so impressed with the truth of the argtt
ment, that he proposed TO his wife tha
they sleep in separate beds, and She &C
quiesced. The experiment was put j
practice that night. About two o'clock II
the morning the lady was awakened by
some one stealing softly into her bed, ant
on uttering scream, was greatly relieveC
to find that it was her husband. IL hat
turned off cold in the night, and he hal
concluded that if he had TO die anyway
he might as well 20 off quietly with !
nervous attack, as 10 be frozen dead in ;
grotesque attitude. ,,...
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08
Tim Ryan's Old Debt.

The pony. Flanagan, and myself were a
deal surprised to overtake traveller.
Something about his attire, and especially
his ''acute" expression made me think
him an Irishniafl who had returned from
America. And it proved was right. My
guide gave him good-day, and, with my
permission. seat beside himself. Where
upon ventured to ask him where he was
from and where he was going. believe
it is right peculiar to Americans to ask
all the world over.
have come from America. ma'am,
and am going TO see my mother, who lives
up in the mountains, by Cashla Bay back. y
/ was warm in my praises OF his dutiful
conduct.
With little laugh, he said, 81 came for
that and one other thing"
ITO be married, perhaps?"
NO, your honor, ma'am; IL was Just q
bit of skull-cracking. Indeed, ma'am,
saving your presence, I'll tell you all about
it. About five years ago went to SPid-
die fair, being then in the mind OF going
to America the month after. It's grand
fair. with great many pig-jobbers and
cattle-dealers in il. and they'll drink po-
teen like water. | met boy there, one
Magraw, who fiourished ahead Of the
whole fair. Iwasn't half his size, because
he swelled himself up with his conceit.
and kept mine to myself; butt could
not bear to see him calling himself better
boy than myself. So | dared him out. and
| got the greatest beating l ever got in my
whole life. Indeed, did not think there
was a sound bone in my whole body. But
l promised to pay him back with interest,
even if was leaving for America, and
have done it. III five Years / got work In
America, good health, and money to the
fore; so made up my mind to go 70 Spid-
die fair this year TO pay Magraw HIS II
terest, and then tramp up the hills 10 the
old cabin. Ii was the last day of the fair
when | arrived at Spiddle, but had
not been there an hour when i heard
a voice like Magraw's come from the
door of shebeen. As soon rs ! ap,
preached. Magraw's head came out, and
/ tapped it with my blaek-thorn stick, and
he dropped. cried out, That's the prirl-
cipal. and if you'll stand up III give you
the interest And then half the fair gath
i cred round and cried, .'Tis Tim Ryan
come from America TO beat Magraw.' Aao
they made ring for us, and although ]
shouldn't say itfnyself ma'am, they tolt
me afterward that it was as pretty q fgh
as they had ever seen. The wholefair wa
talking about II. Indeed, did give hin
i principal and interest. and he's now, lai,
j up in his cabin to count them. SO now
am going to see my mother, and can tber
return to America with nothing on m,
mind. From 4 Lone WomqB ~ Ire
tand,' in Nov. Hcrper's.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08
I.s bs' 5.il s9l o., DER

o, DEARl Oh, dear! ~. L4.
sAna IN isn't Il queer '' -
That holidays come only once IN year?
g-When, If 4 had my way . i1r
should lengslen their stay,
And have them 30 on for Z year and day!
Ieannot zee why
We have Fourth Of July
When the sun is 20 hot and we-ars ready TO fry;
For though ON the street
FiLz!e-baEg! We repeat ff.fi"
Our ardor grows cool on account Of the heat.
Then Santa Claus comes
With his tops and MS drums
When Jack Frost IS lipching our fingers and
o, deari oh, dearl %, u
And think it Is queer
Thai Christmas Should come nc the end OF the
year! "
pye,plenty Of toys ..... E a. ,-...- .
That make plenty OF noise,
Ani skates AMI she'd, Ike the rest OF the boys;
Andl have jolly iun
1ill the day light Is done, i..,.
11l wish all tne dayswsre rolled into onel
Sol grurnble, oh, dearl io
And think 10 is queer igrC.I
Ddholidays come only once in, yearl
and I'D like 10 knnw whether .
The clerk Of the weather
Ceadn't put them in often and closer together?
Between you and me
(Ierc's a moral, you see)-
D, dearl II . us foolish AS foolish Can be!
For tbs certainly best,
And increases our zest, tff
In music and mirth to have some bars of rest
.fHnv au r ffaIf Little Corporal.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08

GEN. BAKER, Commissioner Of Pensions,
has issued an order for the preparation OF
grand roll of pensioners, which shall be-
gin with the revolutionary period ana EN-
brace all pensioners under all acts OF Con-
gress, from the beginning Of the GOVERN
ment to the present time, and in which the
names shall be given. alphabetically ar
ranged. together with the service, date, the
disability. the rate of changes. ifany, in the
pension. and the final discontintance OF
the same by death or other causes. The
pension roll has heretofore been kept by
| the rolls of agencies and by the number Of
the certificate. Requisition has been
made for the necessary books, and, with
the limited force able to engage in the
work. it will take about two years to conf
plete d.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08
Death of n Heroine.


A late number Of the Memphis appeal
contains the following obituary notice of a
humble but self-sacrificiDg heroine:
''Miss Matte Stephenson, the beautiful
and modest young lady who voluntarily
left the comforts of her home near Bloom
ington, Illinois, and came amidst us to
care for and nurse the afflicted. died at the
Walthall lnfirmary Friday, and was buried
yesterday. She came here stranger, but
by her heroic courage in thus giving up
her life for suffering humanity, has gained
immortality, and her deeds will go down
to posterity as equaling those of Florence
Nightingale @ a
The Memphis Ledger also says: /.
8 A pure spirit has gone to its reward
above. Miss Matte Stephenson,i one OF
the heroines of the ,pestilence mentioned
yesterday, died of the disease from which
she sought to save Others. at O'Clock this
morning. Let her be buriedin some sweet
sequestered spot in Elmwood, and at nc
distant day let pure white shaft be erect.
ed in her memory, TO attest the gratitude
of our people, for whom she sacrificed hel
beautiful young life.'
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08

From the time the colt is born, he should
be taught to regard man, whom he is af-
terward to serve, as his protector and
friend. A human hand should first lift
him gently to his feet, and direct his little
mouth to the source of maternal nourish-
ment. With the human touch he should
thus early be made to associate caresses
and a supply for all his wants. Instead of
yells and oaths and kicks and rude blows,
he should hear only gentle, loving tones
from the attendants mouth, and pettings
from his kind palm. He should be taught
to expect and watch for mans entrance to
the stall or paddock where he'is kept, as a
dog waits for the coming of the master. as
the season of JOY and happiness. His lit
tie deer-like limbs should be handled, and
he be taught to yield them promptly and
without fear to the masters touch. In
short everything that loving ingenuity can
devise should be done TO impress upon his
mind thus early in life that man Is his
natural protector and friend, Between
whom and him an intimate companionship
has been ordained by beneficent Nature.
which insures that he shall be protected
and cherished while he serves. The horse
has heart-claim upon us. The young
colt is. in some sense, member of the
family, one of the owners household.
second in rank and dignity only. to the
children. So the Arab regards him. The
beautiful young thing, with its shining
coat, gazelle eyes and sprightly antics. so
full of bounding but docile life. is literally
his children's playmate. He shares their
food, and often their sleeping-mat; and a
blow dealt him is as promptly resentedas if
it had been dealt the oldest son, for whose
service in peace, and safety in hour of bat
tie, the young thing is being raised.-
From ''7He Perfect Horse"
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08

THEApanie has so far abated as to permit
an Essex street man to return to ten-cent
cigars, and he hopes, in another month, i
the brightness continues to increase, TO gel
his boys boots half-soled.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08

WHALE-sKINs are reported to be gradu-
ally supplanting cow-hides in the leather
market. Some of our citizens may re-
joice that they can now have pair of boots
made from single skin without piscing,
says an exchange,
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
The Wall Of the Oyster.

THE voice of the mollusk is heard in
the land, plaintively pleading to be let
alone in its little bed for brief season.
From the depths Of bay and inlet and
creek, where oysters have vegetated for
centuries, there comes a wall TO wielders
of tongs and dredge, telling them that
the spawning of last year was a failure,
and that extinction will follow unless
mercy is SHOWN to the Juvenile bivalve.
From the waters of Long Island Sound
to the Chesapeake, the cry is unanimous
for protection. II the succulent shell dis
appeared from our list of dainties, where.
with could we I'LL its place? 1t would be
vain to ask polite society to wrestle with
the tougher clam-its taste would only
recall visions of the rosy hour when the
tender scion of the Sound slipped through
the parted teeth with scarce the trouble
of mastication, and left trail of epicu-
rean enjoyment behind it. Not Seth
Green, with salmon, black fish, and trout,
grown in clear springs on mountain sides,
could fill the void. If our markets were
left oysterless, their glory would be de-
parted, and the sad householder would
but have strength to reply: /" Tell 1t not
in Boston, publish it not in the streets OF
Chicago" And yet he might pluck up
courage to insist that the advice Of the
Coast Survey should be fo,lowei /, and the
national oyster beds be no longer devas-
tated, but fostered in a nursery for COM
ing generations of mollusks,-N. Y.
Graphic,
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
How to Spoil Yourself.

BEGIN, say at sixteen, to look in the
glass whenever you pass one, and to make
up your mind that you are not as beauti-
full as you might be. Grow gradually dis
contented with your complexion. and
make up your mind that 1t must and shall
be improved. Talk good deal about your
want of charms to your young lady
friends, who will be sure to encourage
you in your low estimate of them. Draw
the attention of your maiden annts, grand
mothers, ETC., to your complexion. They
will soon discover THAT it is your liver y
Begin course of weeping on your pill
low at night. 1t will improve your eyes
and eye-sight. Wear dotted veil always
in the street, and never expose yourself to
sunbeams. By these means, and by con-
SANITY picking out little black specks on
your face, you viii become a monoma-
MAC. and you will be ready for the second
course of procedure, as follows:
Being ready, take any daily newspaper.
and hunt out, buy and use all the magical
+" beautifiers" that are advertised in its
columns balm of Moss Ro, es, "'D0wn
of Angels Wings" " Dreams of the Vio-
LETT" Old Aunty Gunter's Complexion
WASH" Indian Skin Transformer, dis
covered by a venerable squaw while in
search of the graves of her fOrt fathers,
and all the rest of them.
Some will b.. chalk or whiting; some,
innocent starch powder; some, arsenic,
bismuth and white lead. Some will make
you look like the ghost of working ba-
ker, who had not time 10 wash his face.
Some will I'LL your pores with Little black
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

THE SKEPTICAL CONvINCED~Every ad-
vance in Medicine, every new remedy has
encountered an opposition, which is the test
of truth. Galen and Jenner only were be-
lieved when they had proved their discove-
ries against opposition. But men are OBJ
serving, and benefits always make believers.
No incredulity can stand the silent argument
of good results. When DIR. Walker pro-
claimed that he had produced from the me-
dicinal herbs of California an Elixir that
would regenerate the sinking system and
cure diseases not organic, the incredulous
shook their heads. Yet his Vinegar Bitters
is now the Standard Restorative of the
Western World. The truth could not be re-
sisted. Under the operation of the new
remedy, Dyspepticssregained their health,
appetite and strength, the Bilious and Con-
stipated were relieved of every distressing
symptom; the Consumptive and Rheumatic
rapidly recovered; Intermittent and Remit
tent Fevers were broken up; the faint of
Scrofua was eradicated! Who could gain
say facts like thesey Not even the Faculty.
Skepticism was routed. All doubts as to
the claims of the Bitters to the first place in
the first rank of modern medicines were si-
fenced, and this wonderful preparation is to-
day the most popular Tonic, Alternative, and
Blood Depurent ever advertised I'm America.
In common with other journalists, we are
free to add our testimony TO this remedy.
IL is domestic medicine, and no household
should be without it.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
come will poison

specks; some will poison you
some will hurt your eyesight
some will paralyze your hands. No mat
ter. 90 ahead; buy them all, plaster them
on. and oil or cold-cream yourself at night.
If You choose you may rub red paint on
your cheeks at the same time. In a year
or so will come the third stage, in which
Won will consume all the universal pana-
ceas on record. Youwll take Smiths
Pills. Jones' Bitters, Browns Tonics,
RObinson's Mysterious Human Health
Perfector, &C., &c. You will try allo-
pathy, homeopathy, the water cure, cleo.
tricity, magnetism, and all the new
medicines.
You began by being healthy young
woman, with few pimples on your skin,
which would have departed of themselves
after while. You are now an invalid,
with parchment complexion and an I'M
happy disposition, and one day you look
in the glass and discover gray hairs on your
head. Nature, finding that you would
dose yourself into pallid ghostliness,
tries 10 do what she can for you by giving
you such hair as will point the change less
hideously. You feel Mortified; you fly to
the papers once more, and read an adver-
tisement in which Daubs-as an utterly
disinterested party-advises you TO re)u-
venate yourself, If you are prematurely
gray, by the use of his Ambrosial
Hair-dye, "harmless, potent, ana per-
fumed."
You at once 60 out to buy this COM
pound, which, when bought, proves 10 De
a grimy mixture with very nasty smell
and so begin upon the hair. dyes, ard go on
tilI one day there is an end of all things
for YOU. and out of respect to your mem
ory people cali it visitation Of Provi-
dence. and not visitation of hair dye,
which they would call it if they told the
truth -Er
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
Keeping Accounts.

THE habit of saving has dangerous
side to it, we admit, and keeping accounts
c-rtainly develops the saving instinct !;
yet saving money for future needs is quite
different thing to saving money through
mere stinginess and, to the prudent,
there is a real advantage in the regular
keeping of accounts which is quite worth
a certain amount of small trouble, and if
not pushed to an extreme, is a valuable
help to conscientious persons. Those who
are methodical enough to apportion def
mite amounts to the various items Of their
expenditure, and who would be honestly
distressed if the allotment, say 10 person
al expenditure, were seriously augmented
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
GopEY's LApY's Book.-The Jul

GoDEY's LADY's BooK.-The July
number begins the forty-fourth year Of this mag
azine, and it is an excellent number, both in lit
erature and Illustrations. "On the Stile' is 9
beautiful steel-plate, well designed and elegantly
finished. Bridal wreaths, !" printed in blue,
an extra establishment, that will be of service
to our lady friends in arranging this necessary
adornment: gathering Wild Flowers is an
other pretty plate. And there is also beautiful
colored fashion-plate, an extension sheet Of
fashions of the latest style. and a work depart
ment of various designs. Marion Harland't
story of Carrying Weight is continued Sew
eral short stories are also given, and many valu-
able hints will be found in the several household
departments. The publisher still announces .
handsome chrome for each subscriber for 1873
whether single subscriber for s., ora club o.
six for sl4. Published by L. A. Cooley, Phila-
delphia, Pa.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

CONsUMPTION.-For the cure OF this dis
tressing disease there has been no medicine
yet discovered that can show more evidence
of real merit than Aliens Lung Balsam.
This unequaled expectorant for curing con-
sumption, and all diseases leading to 1t, such
rs affections of the throat, lungs, and all dis
eases of the pulmonary organs, isintroduced
to the suffering public after its merits for
the cure of such diseases have been fully
tested by the medical faculty. The Balsam
is, consequently, recommended by physi-
clans who have become acquainted with its
great success.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
Mental Depression.

Mental depression is q disease of the nervous
system apd OF all the Ills flesh is heir to- It is The
one that excites the least sympathy. 1t is a sub
ject OF frequent jests and is called by various de-
risive terms but. although 1t is often ughed at
1t not easy TO laugh the patient out OF the belief
that his ills all real for 1t is real disorder
the general features Of which constant fear.
anxiety and gloom. The external nses, as well
as The mental faculties, often manifest symptoms
Of arrangement. Noise, as OF falling water, and
ring ng in the ears complained of, while black
specks and fiery sparks frequently fit before the
vision. Admonitions like these should not be dis
regarded as they may, II neglected. terminate in
insanity. The seat of the disease is IN the brain
and nervous system, and to control the malady II
is necessary to powe rful tonic and Alternative
which VIII correct and tone those organs without
iblaming the brain. This is the secret OF the sue
cess Of Hostetter's Stomach Bittters in cases OF
this kind, for which IL is The safest as well as the
best Of restoratlves. In fact 1t is the only pure
and reliable tonic stimulant known. Many nos
trums, purportng to be tonics, are pulled up from
time TO time in the newspapers, but the sufferer
had better let them alone. Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters has proven ITSELF by many years. trial, 10
be in every respect what Il is represented to be.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

GRAND re-opening of the Olive Street Ho-
tel, st. Louis. We notice by st. Louis pa
pers, that this house has been thoroughly re-
modelled and refurnished throughout, and
now contains all modern improvements.
This Hotel is one of the oldest and best
known houses in the West. Its new pro-
prietors, Messrs. Dorr, Thatcher ~ Co., are
gentlemen of long experience in the Hotel
Business. It Is to be conducted on the
American and European plan; American
plan, $3.50 per day. European plan, 81 per
day for rooms, and 80 cents for meals.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

A DIsoRDERED STATE OF THE BLOOD is The
prime cause of many serious complaints. such as
Skin Diseases. Scrofula, Cancerous and Tuber-
culous Affections, &c. Dr. Jayne's Alternative
purifies the blood and destroys the virus of these
diseases
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

to the injury of other claims, have an easv
way of aseertaining from their private rec
ord how far they are fulfilling their own
intentions.-EI.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

Resf aud OideAf Fa nily Medicine. Srl-
forte Liper Luigordtor-ap rely Vege able Cdhortt
and Tonic-for dyspepsia, Const, .atios. Debility,
Sick Headache, Bilious Attacks and IL derange-
ments of Liver, Stomach a q Bowels. Ask your
Druggist for II. Betodre Of iuitutions.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

SHALLENBERGER's PILLS FOR Ague. Try them
A dose every otter day. One dose stops tn
chills. Six doses effect cure. No nausea ; NJ
purging.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

rUEA.-TEA AGENTS wanted In town sno -
fo sell TIA or Get up club orders, for ~ ss..{r
Tea Company In America importer Prise
ducements to agents. Send Tor circ Ola ru;rII&
Aao'' 1svesey Street View w.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

&7C M EACH WEEk-AGENTs WANT
% G.OO ED. Business legitimate. Pzrticu.
lars free. Box 24sl j. WORTH. st. Louis. Mo.
Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19

Proprfetors for the Southern and western States
~ For sale by all Medicine Dealers.