Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-08-14
Bred and Butter.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

He who don't keep hiz sekret IL unwize,
but he who trusts hiz happiness tew an
other IL a downright phool.
This haZ aiWuS bin the rule, and alwus
will be-no man IL crate unless he IL
g0od.
The man who knows how and achep tew
ackt knows enuff.
Manner IL more powerful than matter
espeshily in monkey.
Gravity IL a kind ov MYSTERIOUS wis
dunn
Fine writing konsists in getting the
most thought into the shortest and sim
plest form
Thare IL only phew men in this world
whose Opinyuns | venerate, and yu, mi
friend, are one Ov them.
Thare are phOlks who had rather be
hated than loved, and ] for one don't be
leave in trieing tew convince sutch pholks
ov their mistake.
When a Running man gifts kaueht he is
like fox in trap, he hain't got no
friends.
He who don't luv himself vents hiz
spleen bi hating everybody else.
If we listen tew the diktakes ov our
Conscience and reaZon it liz almost impOs-
sible for us tew be rong.
stir us up so mutch thare IL ten chances
ov being stung bi a hornet WHARF thare
Amt one ov being slept on bi an ele-
plant.
When fear takes the place ov hope in a
man he needn't expekt tew be emmy more
miserable in this life.
We often meet people whom we think
are richer than we are, and even more
intelligent, but we seldom meet thoze
whom we think are happier-this il
nice, amt it?
| hav seen men who waz too lazy tew
set in a boat and fish; they hadn't pres
ence ov mind cnuff tew bate hook.
Fame liz ladder, a hard thing tew
klimb up, but eazy enuff tew klimb
down.
Thorobred people are never exclusiv;
all that it requires tew gain their kurtesy
and konfdense liz to deserve it.
Adversely makes pigmys out ov giants,
and giants out ov pigmys.
A bright and good-natured old man il
like a sunny day in winter.
Butv, without branes, liz nothing more
than a gaudy pictur.
Luv kant live on buty; it must hav sum
hash, or it will fade and di.
1t liz cay enuf tew alter things, but it
liz hard enuf tew korrekt them.
The man whoze whole stok ov knowl
ledge is drawn from books, will often
phind himself at the forks ov road
WHARF thare amt no glide board.
ThoZe who hav the most merit see the
most in others.
Cerimonys are a sort ov manuel for
phools tew regulate their kondukt by.
Good sense and good breeding are fruits
that gro on the same bush.
The man who IL waiting few be happy
will next year at this time be waiting
still
Cheerfulness makes the plainest features
butiful the severest winter agreeable; it
elevates the lowly, and adds a charm tew
grateness, all its own.
The wizer a man bekums, the more he
pheals biz dependence.
Kontentment liz like a ghost, dredful
cav thing tew talk about, but a dredful
hard thing tew see.
Thare il no man so necessary in the
world but that when he dies hiz phase il
quickly filled, and he il soon forgotten.
The only way tew git along phast is tew
git along slo.
This world il phull ov grunters, but
very phew grunt bekauze they are obliged
tew.
Complasance liz the sweet lie ov every
day life.
Natur don't put on emmy airs.
The most dangerous men we hav in this
world are thoze who are alwus repenting
ov the sins they hav made up their mind
tew commit.
Constance IL nothing more nor less
than the genius ov reazon.-N. 7. Weekly.
"DAUGHTERCULTURAL show" is the