The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-05-10

LOVE Us. AGENTs.-"Oh, no, no,
said Miss Abigail Smith, laying down
her paper and looking into the fire, IF
ever truth was written, it is written
right there" meaning the paper of
course; " if there is any particular folks
l hate, it is agents" You see, Miss
Abigail had been reading that remark
ably good article of Figs on sewing
machine agents. 'And," continued
Miss Abigail, GIVE right to hate
them, the pesky things-yes, and If the
good Lord hadn't have blessed me with
SO many amiable qualities, good for
giving nature among them, I'd have
broken a dozen or so broomstlcks over
some of their heads before now Just
for revenge. If it hadn't been for them
I'd have been a happy wife now, in
stead of an old maid of forty. Here's
Jane Smith, my cousin, just my age,
and one of the happiest wives and
mothers living. And W well, I'm an
old maid-but l stay at home, mind
my own business, and am very content.
eyes, those agents have caused 1t
all. l loved man once-yes-
only one man in all my forty years of
existence. jackson Hart was his name,
but we always called him Jack. He
was fine looking, industrious, upright
man; and everybody knew what Jack
Hart said, he meant. All, me, 1t has
been so long ago. Well, well-as the
poet says:
"''Tis better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at ALL
"'Twas just such day as this
twenty years ago-I was then bloom
ing girl of twenty. l met Jack at a
ball, one night; and as we stood alone
for moment, he told me he expected
to leave our town the next day, for
time and before he left he would like
to say that to me which was nearest to
his heart. Well, when man talks
that way, looks tenderly into your eyes,
and gently presses the hand resting on
his arm, as he did that night, we gen.
orally think they mean business. l told
him what hour he might call the next
morning; but, oh, dear, dear! The
next morning l began early the task of
braiding my hair-I knew how Jack
liked best to see my hair arranged, and
he was the one 1 cared to please; but
in vain did l try to braid-in the midst
of my work did these agents begin to
pour in; sometimes twas book, the
best thing ever written; sometimes a
picture, perfect gem; sometimes one
thing, sometimes another. At last [
got out of patience, for the hour of
Jacks call had nearly rolled around,
and was not yet ready to receive him;
so l said to Bridget, our new girl, very
impatiently-
"Don't let us see another one; just
get stick, if necessary, and defend us.
Tell them we are all busy, engaged.
I'm Just tired of it.
"'Tll take care, Miss Abigail, not
one shall get in" said Bridget, and she
did take care. She stationed herself
behind the door, and when a knock
was heard she bounced out with her
stick and not one entered, so went on
with my braiding in peace. At length
she came in. Miss Abigail, she said,
there was one l could hardly keep out
he said he aUould come in, and when
l told him you was engaged he looked
real bad. Then l told him to git away
or I'd use my stick on him, and he
didn't say another word, but jist turned
and walked off.
81 made my toilet at last and waited
for my lover, but he never came; and
how do you suppose l felt when year
afterward received the following:
"tMIss ABIGAIL SMITH Il thank
you for your treatment of me one year
ago when you had your servant order
me from your home, and even then
threatened to use her stick should l re-
fuse. 1 went away believing myself
heart broken. l loved you so-but al
low me to say the wound is healed, and
l am now happy with another.
JACK HART
But if here amt tear trickling
down my old wrinkled cheek. Pshaw,
men are all humbugs. I'll not shed a
tear for one of 'em-yet do you wonder
why hate agents s"-Daisy Burns, IN
Saturday Evening Post.
A Serious SUBJFCT-Neyer laugh