Smyrna times., 1873-06-11
MiSceZII 10 e D us.
The Raw American.


London at present abonnds in Americans on
their way to the Vienna Exposition. Many of
them are commissioners from various States
Some have lands to sell or other financial axes
to grind. OF such the Langham Hotel is full.
The Langham is the nearest approach to an
American hotel in London. There, though not
guest, you may pass in and out without ex
planning to the hall porter who You are, where
you came from or whatyOu want; you may there
enter and retire without giving your pedigree,
naturalization papers or certificate OF good
character. At other English hotels something
anaOgies to this is commonly required.
We who have been in England full year
look down with an air of superiority on the raw,
the newly arrived American. We are quite
English. We have worn out our American
clothes We have on English hats, with tightly
curled rims and English stub toed boots We
know the intrcities Of London street naviga-
ton and Islngton, Blackfriars Camden Town.
| Hackney, the 'Surry Side" Picadilly, Regent
and Oxford streets, the Strand and Fleet
street, are all mapped out distinctly in our
minds eye. We are skilled in English
money, and no longer pass off half crowns for
two shilling pieces. We are real Anglo
Americans.
But the raw American, only arrived a week,
Is in maze, confusion, hurry. He Is ex-
cited and mystifed. He tries to appear cool
and uuconcerned, and is simply ridiculous. His
cards, bearing his name, title and official
status, he distributes as freely as doth the
winter wind the snOwhakes. Inquire at Lang
ham Office tor Mr.. Smith, and You find he has
bloSsomed into General Smith.
| He is always partaking or about to partake Of
official dinners. lie feels that the eyes of all
England are upon him. He is dressed la band
bOX-hat immaculate in its pristine gloss, white
cravat, umbrella of the simmest, encased in
sllken wrapper. A speck Of mud on his boots
would tarnish the national honor Commonly
he is taken for head butler. He drinks much
stout He eats whitebait dinner before being
tOrty-eight hours in London, and tells of it. All
this makes him feel English.
\ GU meet him. tie is OverjOyed. lie would
talk Of everything-yOur mutual experience in
America, his sensations and impressions since
arriving in England. He talks intelligibly Oi
nothing. His brain is mere rag-bag, shreddy,
confused, parti-colored. Thus he empties it :
"Passage over rough;" London wonderful -
"Dned with the Earl of - yesterday;
'Dine with Sir to day. "To the Tower;
Westminster" New York growing" Saint
Paul's-going, going, gone and he shake;
hands with you, and is off at a Broadway gait
straight toward the East End of London for his
hotel, which lies at the West End.
ln reality the man is not in his right mind
He is undergoing the mental scclimizatiOr
fever. Should he stay in London for three
months he might recover and begin to fine
out where he is. But six months hence he will
have returned to America, fancying he ha,
seen London, Paris, Rome, Geneva, Vienna
and whatever other places his body has beer
hurried through, not his mind; for that, in thu
excitement and rapidity of his flight, ha
streamed behind him like the tail of comet
light, attenuated vapory, catching nothing
absorbing nothing.
Occasionally this fever takes an abusv,
phase. He finds in England nothing to like
nothing to admire. Sometimes he wishes
Immediately to revolutionize the government
He is incensed at the cost of royalty. He see,
) on every side Indications of political upheaval
, Or he becomes culinary dsgusted Becaus,
.. there are no buckwheat cakes, no Goldfish cakes
no hot bread, no pork and beans, no mammoth
oysters, stewed, fried and roasted, he can fnC
, nothing fit to eat. The English cannot cook
Because he can find no noisy, Gathering, dish
I smashing restaurant, full of acrobatic waiter
racing and balancing under immense piles o
plates, and shouting iargOn untranslatable, un
/: ineligible and unprOnOunceable down into tn
j lower kitchen, he cannot, cannot eat-Lippin
cots 1Hdgazine