The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-10-16

How One Of Them TOrmenGed a
Man.

IN. Quod, of the Detroit Free Press,
car, the other day, and thus details his
woes
Perhaps the man meant TO do me a
favor when he came up to me at the depot,
with spinster hugging his arm, and
wanted to know if | wouldn't take charge
of her from Chicago to Detroit Many
men think railroad journey rendered
really pleasant by the companionship of
an unprotected female She insisted on
counting her band box and travelling bag
as we got seated. She counted. Three
we're Just two. | counted, and made no
more nor less. Then she wanted her
parasol put into the rack, her shawl fold
ed up, and handbook counted, again l
counted it. There was just exactly one
handbook Of it. As we got started she
wanted to know If | was sure that we were
on the right road to Detroit. I was sure.
Then she wanted her travelling bag count
ed. | counted it. BY this time she
wanted the the window up, and asked
me il it wasn't hot day. | said it was
Then she felt for her money and found it
was safe, though she was sure that she
had lost it. While counting it, she re-
lated how Mrs Graf, in going East, five
years ago, lost her purse and SO. She
wound up the story by asking me if it
wasn't hot day. | said it was. Then
she wanted that handbook counted, and |
counted him. He was still one hand box.
There was a pause of five minutes, and
then she wanted drink. got it for her
Then she wanted to know if We were on
the right road to Detroit l assured her
that / was positive of the fact The
brakeman here called out the name of a
station in such an indistinct manner that
the lady wanted me to 60 and see what
the name really was. l went. 1t was
Calumet. She wanted to know if | was
sure that it was Calumet, and l put my
hand on my sacred heart and assured her
that | would perish sooner than deceive
her BY this time she wanted the travel
ing-bag counted. and | counted her. She
figured up as before. l had Just finished
counting when she wanted TO know if [
didn't think it was hot day. | told her
did. We got along very well for the
next half hour, as | got her to narrating
story about how she got lost in the woods
eighteen years, before, but as soon as she
finished it she wanted to know if l was
sure that we were on the right road to
Detroit / told her that hoped to per
ish with the liars if we were not, and she
was satisfied Then the parasol fell
down; she wanted me to change ten
cent piece. and the window had to go
down. When we got down to Marshall
she wanted to know if the plaza
wasn't named after court-martial and
whether it wasn't barely possible
that the station was Niles instead of
Marshal. The handbook was counted
again, and he was just one Then the
window went up, and she asked me, if,
in my opinion, il wasn't hot day. / re-
piled that it was. Then she related a
story about her uncle, another about a
young lady who had been dead several
years. During that day counted that
band box 800 times raised the window
thirty times said it was a hot day until
my tongue was blistered; arranged that
parasol twenty-one times got her six
teen drinks of water. and inquired the
names of thirteen stations. .She said ii
was so nice to have a man in whom a
a stranger could place confidence, and |
dared not reply for fear of bringing out
another story. When we reached Detroit
l counted the things three times over.
helped her off the cas-, got her in hack,
directed her to hotel, told her the street,
price, name of the landlord. head waiter,
porter and cook; assured her that she
would not be robbed or murdered; that
it had been hot day; that Detroit
had population of 100, 900; that the
fall term of the school had commenced /;
that all Detroit hack-drivers were honest
and obliging. Poor woman hope the
landlord didn't get out of patience with
her artlass ways.