The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1873-01-27
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM In ADVANCE.

TABLE TALK.-Mrs. Trollope, Basil Hail.
Marryatt, Dickens, and many other foreign
writer's of superficial books about America.
nave given particularly contemptuous criti-
Ism 70 the manners of our people at hotel
,;.o' ' put 1t does not seem to be in English
cor. h,, s"eht to do anything like spontan
cbaracter;s.;"s Justice to the immem orable
commasa;s, "serlsac drolleries of the snb;ect The
| unceremon;o asenng class are they whose
the chief scandal to alien p1one oa, meals AFFORD
INFORMAL, time saving eccentr;cit;,. ana tneir
ueineancr are the same at inns T VI uietary
world; but forcomicalties of the al over the
pointed the while with unm:stakah,e1 81 no.i, note,
traits, some OF our westers carayansarSas H
easlonaly deserve such amiable ceiebrat;OoY
as hel'ner ioreien nor native book men are
at pains to give them. The Missouri Ra,,.,n are
can, working pleasant vein of domestic 80
ecdote, described an incident of this order at
popular hotel at Alton, ILL.,, where the hos,
although man of many sterling analitis.
derived satisfaction from his business in nro'
portion to the moderation of his patrons,
appetites. One day, after the dinner at this
house was nearly finished, and the thrifty
proprietor had begun congratulating himseis
that choice roast pig at one end of the
board remained in tact for another meal.
there entered drover, who had come to dine.
only, and was, consequently, a contributor To
the establishment to the extent of but half
dollar. As the evil star of mine host
would have it, the inconsiderate new conner
took scat Immediately beside the cherished
animal, and having an appetite consistent
with his hardy and active vocation, speedily
devoured the whole pig With increasing
agitation the injured master of the house had
witnessed the dread exploit; agonized to cal
culate where his profit was to accrue after de-
quoting a dollar and a half delicacy from q
fifty cent dinner ticket, and at its termination
ne sarcastlcally inquired, In voice tremend-
Gus with wrath, whether the gentleman could
not be helped to something else? 'sWel-l-l,
ya-a-s," drawled the drover pensiveIy, taking
the 9vestlon IN perfect good faith, "as Pm
kindker peckish to-day. don't know but /
will try another of them little hogs" This.
says the Republican, was too much for the
equanimity of the landlord, and, to keep
himself from spontaneous combustion
like Jacob Faithful's mother, he was compeli-
ed to rush into the open air, where he could
use certain unorthodox expressions without
violation of the amenities of Christian inter-
course. Still more characteristic of the in.
stitution and the nation is what the Detroit
Free Press tells of a contemporaneous epi-
sode in that city. Resting over night at n
pretentious hotel, and breakfasting yery
heartily there in the morning. was an AGED
stranger whose unspeakably seedy attire,
while 1t had been unnoticed in tho
dark hours of his arrival, excited the dire
distrust of the officials of the house as reveal
ed by daylight. Sorely suspicious was the
superb clerk of the establishment that the
latter was to be wronged OF its dues by some
trick or plea of the venerable shabby guest.
and when the latter having dispatched his
meal presented himself at the desk with an
admonitory cough, bis doubt became a GER
tainty. 81 have had my breakfast" began
the aged man. ''Hand over the money, you
old rascalr interrupted the clerk in rage.
'.As was saying" resumed the stranger,
placidly, 'candor compels me to inform YOU
- "Call poicemanv' roared the clerk to
the bell boy. .'Well have our twelve shillings
or you so to the lock-up.o The boy started
upon his errand without apparent notice from
him OF the seedy costume, who, taking his
own time 10 draw forth from some obscure
pocket vast and greasy wallet, quietly re-
peated-"As was saying, I've hadmy break
fast, and here's your twelve shillings: but
candor cornpels me to inform you that them
mashed potaters was lovely-perfectly lovely.
sir; and don't mind throwing in shilling
extry for 'em." Then there was a fiourry
clerkly apology, for which the remarkable an
cient man seemed conscious of no earthly call.
and again was confirmed the sagacious prin-
ciple that to judge stranger by an ward
adorning is to contound all human merit with
that of hotel clerks themselves.-World.