The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-08-29
Max Adeler on Picnics.

This Is the season Of the year when
picnics are most frequent. For real solid
enjoyment we, for our part, much prefer
well conducted funeral 70 any ordinary
picnic. You generally reach the grounds
about III o'clock, and the exercises begin
with climbing hill, ur which you are
compelled TO carry two heavy lunch bas-
kets. When you reach the summit you
are positively certain The thermometer
must be nearly six hundred and fifty I'm
the shade. You throw yourself on the
grass, and In few moments brigade of
black ants begin to crawl down the back
of your neck, while a phalanx of ticks
charge up your trousers legs. And just
as you jump up, your Oldest boy, who
has been out in the woods, where he
stirred up yellow Jackets nest, comes
in with his head and face swelled to the
size of a water-bucket, conveying the in
formation that your other boy, William
Henry, is up tree and can't get down.
After laboring to release William Henry
the thermometer seems to have gone up
two hundred more degrees, and you think
you will take swim In the creek. While
you are in the water young Jones strolls
out with Miss Smith, and unconscious of
your presence. they sit down close 10
your clothes and engage in conversation
for three-quarters of an hour, while you
lie down in the shallow stream, afraid to
bulge, and nearly killed with the hot sun.
When they leave you emerge and find that
some wicked boy from the neighboring
village has run off with your shirt and
socks. You fix up as well as you can,
and when you get back with the party
they are eating dinner from cloth laid
on the ground. A spider is spinning
web from the pickle-jar to the little end
of the cold ham straddle-bugs are frolic-
ing around over the pound-cake, cater
pillars are exploring the bread-platter,
grasshoppers are jumping into the butter,
where they stick fast, the bees are so
thick around the sugar bowl that you are
afraid TO get near il, and there are enough
ants in the pie to walk completely off
with it. You take seat, however, de-
termined TO try 10 eat something, but
you get up suddenly-all at once, as il
were, for you have set down on brier.
Then William Henry. who has qiafied an
unreasonable quantity of lemonade, gets
the collie, and his mother goes into hys-
terics because she thinks he Is poisoned
with poke-berries. You lay him under
an umbrella, and proceed to climb a tree
in order to fix a swing for the girls. At
Ter skinning your hand, tearing your
trousers, and running your coat, you get
TO the top, tie the rope, and you under
take to come down on it. You do come
down, with velocity, and your fingers are
rubbed entirely raw. just then it begins
to rain furiously, ard the whole party
stampedes to the depot for shelter. When
the shower slackens you go back TO the
ground to get me rope, and just as you
get up the tree the owner of the place
comes along with a gun and dog, and
threatens to blow your brains out and
cut you up if you don't leave immedi-
ately. Then you come down again with
celebrity, and get over the fence rs if y3n
were in earnest. Going home in the
train all the passengers regard you, from
your appearance, as an escaped convict,
or lunatic who has escaped from his
keepers; and when you reach home you
plunge into shirt, cover your hands
with court plaster, and register solemn
vow never to go on another picnic.