davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
One too Many There.

Our friend Parker knows certain little
brother whom he would gladly watt at once
over to the thither shore, if society had not
such an absurd prejudice against premedi-
tated murder. Young Parker loved Miss
Clamm, the sister of the said babe, and a
few evenings ago he called upon the lady
for she purpose Of proposing to her. They
sat upon the sofa in the front parlor, alone.
AS the evening wore ON, Parker plucked
up courage, nudged over to Miss Clamm's
side of the sofa, and began some pr relimi-
nary remarks,about his "eternal happi-
ness" his "heart's longing" his "soul's
IDOL" his loves young dream" ETC., etc.
Just as he mad taken Miss Clamm's little
hand in his, and was about to explain him
self, terrific sneeze was heard beneath
the sofa. Parker and Clamm both sprang
to their feet. Parker dragged the sofa
away from the wall, and there lay young
Clamm, snickering and chuckling as if he
had rich things stored away in his memory.
And when Miss Clamm flew at him and
boxed his ears he remained silent but es-
Gaping he ran to the door, and standing
there with his hand ON the knob, he obser-
we'd; "Never you mind I'm a-goin' right
up stairs to tell ma that you and old Par
ker have bin sittin' down yer kissin' each
odder, and squeezin' each odder's hands and
a-huggin' like mad; a-carryin' on scand'-
lus I'm going to tell ma-certain. And
you jist wait till pap comes home, and if he
don't boot that Parker outen the front door
quicker'n lightnin', my names not William
Henry Clamm. Oh! he'll go for you,
mister He'll root around in here like a
maniac when he knows you've bin kissin'
sis Never you mind ~ And then w. II.
Clamm faded into the entry,
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
A Powerful Argument.

A few days ago, a TALL rough looking
mountaineer entered the Union Railroad
ticket Office at Denver, and, through mis-
take purchased ticket for New York via
the Kansas Pacific line. when he wanted to
go over the Union Pacific. He did not dis
cover this fact until after the ticket had
been paid for, and on asking the agent to
change it, the latter refused to do so.
"You wont change this ticket then,
wont youP''
"No, sir" replied the agent, "you have
your ticket and have the money for 1t,
and if you want ticket over the other
route you will have to pay for it,"
Very quietly the stranger twisted his
ticket into small roll very serenely he
drew from under his coat-tail six-shooter
about the dimensions of mountain how
itzer coolly and deliberately he stuck the
ticket into the muzzle of that six-shooter,
and sticking the ugly looking thing
through the little square window Of the
ticket office; and almost into the agents
face, and speaking in the tone that left no
doubt Of his determination, said Is
"Stranger, that's that ticket take it
yourself and change it, or I'll blow it clean
through you"
The ticket was changed Immediately,
and without any more words from the
agent; and the mountaineer walked away,
saying, "I just thought could induce him
to change his mind leetle."
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
An AfectiOnate Lion,

"The lion is strong and cruel, yet he
will become attached to those who treat
him kindly. One was brought from India,
and on the passage grew very fond of a
sailor who had charge of him. His name
was Nero. On being shut up in cage in
London he grew sulky, and was very fierce
when any one came near him.
"One day, few weeks after Nero had
been shut up in his new prison, party of
sailors visited the menagerie, and were
warned by the keeper not to go too near
the lion who every now and then growled
savagely at those who were looking at him.
All at once one of these sailors ran up to
the cage and thrusting in his hand, cried
out, What, old shipmate ? don't you
know me? What cheer, old Nero my
lad?'"
"The lion instantly left off feeding and
growing, sprang up on the bars of the
cage and put out his nose between them.
Jack patted him on the head, and the lion
rubbed his hand with his whiskers like a
cat, showing evident signs of pleasure.
" All p' said Jack, turning to the keep
er and spectators who stood frightened and
astonished, Nero and / were once ship
mates and you see he isn't like some folks
he don't forget an old friend.'"
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
Anecdote of Greeley.

The following anecdote is related of Mr..
Greeley, who is we'll known to have been
throughout life stanch advocate CT tenn
perance. Through all the campaign he sat
at public dinners and suppers where wine
and spirit flowed freely, but he never pass
ed the bottle or touched the liquor himself.
The walters who knew his temperance
principles were generally puzzled what to
do when they came to the row of glasses
fronting his place, as the fronted all others.
Usually they were directed by look or
gesture of the master of ceremonies to
pass him by in silence, but on one occa-
sion an Irish waiter would not abide such
an apparent breach of hospitality
Hadn't ye better take something, Sir,
to get up an appetite, like. after your long
ride Sir ?" the hospitable Hibernian whis-
pered to the startled sage. GA little
brandy y-and-water, now, would do ye good
it would, upon me soul, Sir"
The heartiness of the appeal touched the
philosopher. He recognized the ring of
true hospitality in its tones, and his heart
relcnted at the idea of depressing such
sterling virtue by continued refusal.
Brandy-and- water?" said he. Well,
Pat, I'll take half that to oblige you. Give
me the water, and let some one else have
the brandy"
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
Gbe Gimes, New Bloonlfelo, l)a.

leaning over, and lays on to the Vernon
ter's bull behind with the prong just as the
brute drives down his own bull, and breaks
his neck in the corner of the pen. Then
the Vermonter's bull turns around on the
Brigadier, and after one good look at him,
puts down his head with q sort of low
whistle, and scrapes with his fore hoof,
meaning mischief The Brigadier didn't
wait, but made off fol the house, slamnling
the pen gate and the garden gate behind
him. But he hears two crashes, and then
the whistle Of the Vermonter's bull coming
after him, as he reaches his open front
door, and bolts through the hall to the
kitchen, slamming the second door behind
him.
Perhaps the cuss won't come into the
house." thought the Brigadier, as he stood
painting behind the kitchen door but next
moment he heard the Vermonter's bull
stalk into the hall. Then silence for q
minute, and then the whistle and scraping
again. "Whats he up to now9" thought
the Brigadier, as he just peeped through a
crack. There stood the bull, right op-
posite his own image in Madam Ruggles'
mirror. A kings arm always hung on the
hooks, over the kitchen fireplace, loaded
with ball, and the Brigadier caught it
down, and made two steps across the floor,
and right out into the hall, just in time to
see the Vermonters bull down his head
and go crash into the mirror. The shock
seemed to stagger him, and before he could
turn around, the Brigadier-that mad that
he would have faced all the bulls of Bashan
steps up to his side, and let's drive just
behind his shoulder. The Vermonter's
bull goes over among the broken glass, the
Brigadier stands over him, kings arm still
smoking, when the wagon draws up, and
Madam Ruggles and the Vermonter walked
into the hall, fresh from meeting, with the
doctor from Cambridge.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
Awkward BIunder of New York Clergy
man.

The almost criminal blunder of New
York clergyman brought youthful pair
into an embarrassing predicament, in Prov
idence, r. l., few days ago. He camo
there, and without consulting the law gov
erning such solemn engagements, proceed
ed to perform the ceremony that purported
to unite the man and woman in the bonds
of matrimony. After the lapse of little
time the deluded couple awoke to the con-
sciousness that they were not legally man
and wife, the clergyman, who alone offici-
ated, not being domiciled in that State. A
visit to the clergyman in New York, and
repetition of the ceremony there relieved
the dilemma but suppose either party in
the meantime had repented the choice,
would not a serious responsibility be cast
upon the negligent olergymanP
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
A Dutch Patient.

ON a quiet morning in the latter part of
" autumn, was busy in my Office pre-
pairing for an early drive. Suddenly gen.
tleman who was a stranger to me, stepped
into the Office, and without speaking
sought chair. At this apparently uncivil
intrusion did not feel surprised, since it
is not unusual for persons, in this latitude
especially, to act as though they regarded
the "Doctor's Office" as kind of omnibus,
the entrance Of which requires no cere-
mony. Having finished my preparations,
turned to him, when the following conver-
sation took place:
"Good morning, sir, how do you do ?"
"Ob, feel purdy well, sank you'll
don't feel zick."
"How is your family, sirP"
"Oh, don't know as any of dem is zick
shust now-I offend hear dem say any
ding"
Not knowing his place of residence and
anxious now to gather, at least, some items
by which might guess at the object of his
visit, said to him:
"How is the health of your ncighbor-
hood?"
"Oh, tond know of any one bein' zick
out dat way shust now sink efery bodily
is purdy vell."
Feeling myself "pretty well' cornered
now, said to him Well, sir if ] can
do anything for you shall be glad to do
Tiny horses are waiting and l must 60 to
the country"
Hesitating few moments, he slowly
raised his arm, and showing his wrist cov-
cred with rash, said "Vell, Toctor, vat
you call dat?"
"You have the itch, sir; how did you
come to get that ." and now drawing a
long and deep sigh-such an one as the
purely innocent only can draw-he said
"Now, Toctor, shust dell you how dis
vas."
"Dere is mamie lifs up on de noun
dain-und / bin up dere more dimes, und
l always sot dem vas nice peoples. AbouG
doc weeks ago, Bill Shones, he cum dere
und he say, now, Shon, you bedter not &c
on de moundain or you gid someding.
Veil, sot as Bill Shones vas shust goin'
to WOOL me, und on Zaturday l vas blough
in und yust sot, now, Bill Shones, yor
not WOOL me in dat way anyhow. Den on
hitched my orses, und vent home und wash
ed me all ofer, und tressed me, und den
vent up dare. Now, Toctor, dell yol
shust how dis vas. Veil, been up dar'
more dimes, and l always sot as dem beop
les vas nice und CLEAN, and didn't nefer so
anyding else. De old man vas dare, und de
old woman, und de gals und den aftera viii
dey fetch some abbles und pies, und We va
eaden dere und den alder vile de old beoble
vent to bet. Den one of dem gals, she did g
tosbet do-now, Toctor, / shust dell yol
how dis vas-und dat oder vone und me
We vas sidten dare, and sot it vas gidter
golt; SO l dook my CHEER und l vent up a
dc site of dat gal-now, Toctor, shust del
you-und pud my arm round her und zo
dare vile, ,und den-den dit schquese her
und now, by tam, shust look yot dit got''
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
i. OPPOSITE THE co URT HOUSE,
NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA.

We receive money on deposit and pay back on
demand. We discount notes for period OF not
over 90 days, aud sell Drafts on Philadelphia and
New York.
On time Deposits, fve per cent forany time over
four months and for four months four per cent
We are well provided with all and every facility
for doing Banking Business; and knowing, and
for years, feeling the great Inconvenience un
der which the people OF this County labored forthe
want OF a Bank of Discount and Deposit we have
have determined to supply the want and this being
the first Bank ever established In Perry county we
hope we will be sustained in our Efforts by all the
business men, farmers and mechanics.
This Banking Association is composed OF the fol-
lowing named partners:
W. sRossLEn, BOosmield' Perry county Pa.
WM. ii. MILLER, Carlisle,
OFFICERS:
W. A. sP0NsLER, President.
WILLIAM WILLIS. CdShter.
New Bloomfield, 3-5 ly
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
ENIGMA.

ENIGMA.
am composed of "a letters
My /, 20, II, A, and Sis a boys name.
My2, 8, 13, 81, Z, II, and s is a country in Eu-
rope.
My 1S, 4, Q, II, 1a, 9, and is city in New
Jersey.
My 1s, 4, 2, 20, %, Z, II and is an island in
the Atlantic Ocean.
My s, ., 81, z, 9, z, 4 and 20 is one of the Mid
die States.
My IL, 10, 1s, Z, and II is musical iustru-
ment.
My 10, z, 81, 13, Q, and is boys name.
My ID, 2, and 13 is an article of dress.
My 10, 3, Is, 2, and 10 is the name of one of
the Presidents.
My 10, 16, and 20 is an enemy.
My "a, 23, Il, and 10 is a wild animal.
My whole is one of the American Poets.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
The U. B. Mutual
Aid Society Of Pennsylvania,

Present the following plan for consideration to
uch persons who wish to become members:
The payment Of SIX DOLLARS on application,
FIVE DOLLARS annually for -FOUR YEARS, and
thereafter TWO DOLLARS annually during life,
with pro-rata mortality assessment at the death
follows:
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
age 4:sss s 4ssss sa 4ssss ns 4ssssf sn;

viii entitle member to certificate OF ONE
THOUSAND DOLLARS, to be paid at MS death
may occur
A member, or his heirs, may name successor; I;
but If notice of the death of member to the Sec
retary is not accompanied with the name OF sue
cessor, then the Society will put in successor and
I'LL the vacancy, according to the Constitution oil
/. the Society.
Should the member die before his four pay
ments of JlUe dollars are made, the remaining un.
paid part will be deducted from the one Thousand
Dollars due his heirs; his successor Will then pay
only taco dollars annually during his ifetime and
the mortality assessments
pA- Male and Female from fifteen to sxtyhye
years of age, OF good moralhabts, in good health,
hale, and sound OF mind, irrespective OF creed, or
race NAV become members. For further inf0ma-
ton, address I. w. CRAUMEk
(Sec'y U. b. Mutual Aid SocietyD
LEBANON, PA.
Agents TAINTED
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
dnA nnN TO BE CREDITED TO
S4.OOO MUTUAL POLICY HOLDERs.

The Pennsylvania Central Insurance Company
having had but little loss during the past year the
annual assessment on Mutual Pocy'holders VIII
rates which would be equal to a dividend OF 40
per cent, as calculated In Stock Companies, or
usual assessment; and as the Company has over
S2OO,0OO in premium notes, the whole amount cred
ited to mutual policy holders over cash rates, VIII
amount to $1,000 Had the same pocy-hOlders in
sured ina Stock Company, at the usual rate, they
would have paid $1,000 more than Il has cost them
in this Company Yet some of our neighbor
agents are running about crying Fraud Fraud
and declare that mutual company must fail.-
But they don't say how many stock companies are
falling every year, or how many worthless stock
companies are represented in Perry County
to-day.
cannot break
JAMES ii. GRIER,
S25tf Sec'y Of Penna Central Insurance Co.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04

Sack Flannels.--A lot Of new and pretty
styles of Sack Flannels, have Just been re-
ceived by II. MORTIMER. There are cheap
too.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04

"Purse-proud individual. "Do you
know sir that | am worth a hundred thous-
and dollars ?p "Yes," was the reply, 81
do, and / know that is all you are worth."
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04

rB- A certain country squire, concciying
that the word "clause" was in the plural
number, would often talk Of a "claw" in
inan Act of Congress.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04

esy- Answer to Cross-W Enigma in last
weeks TIMES =" Vote down the Whiskey."
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
Perry County Bank !!
SpOnsler, JunEin a. 60.

TTNHE undersign ID having formed Banking AS
4 sociation under the above name and STYLE are
now ready to do General Banking business at
their new Banking House, ON Centre Square,
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
ENIGMA DEPARTMENTS.

NJ All contributions TO this department must
be accompanied by the correct answer.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-02-04
AGENTS TAINTED +!

Address
DIS. EARLY,
e31 SIN pdl Harrisburg Pa
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24
Building Paper.
j. Il. Lawrence 6 Cos
Patent Fire and Damp Proof
AIuminous Paper Board.

The best known substitute for plaster
ing. 1t is equally good for sheathing or
plastering, and has not the offensive odor
of tarred or resin board
1t is a perfect non conductor of heat
and cold. 1t will save its cost in fuel in a
short time. Wall paper will adhere to it
without discoloration, or peeling off, as no
greasy substance Is used in its preparation.
1t will not increase your insurance, be-
cause it is not saturated with any inhan-
mable substance. Rats or mice will not
touch it, owing to chemicals used in its
preparation.
1t is affected neither by heat, cold, frost
or dampness. 1t makes house cooler in
summer and warmer in winter.
This article can be used equally as
we'll in winter as in summer. If any of my
customers wish / will send samples where
ever and whenever desired.
For sale by PHI Hip WRENCE,
39tf Mineral Point, Wis.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24
Reese's Mill.
BLANCHE DIMocK, Teacher.

EDITOR CHRONICLE My subject at this
time is anything but pleasant one, bu
our neighborhood has for many years been
troubled with night walkers, and | think
a few words publicly expressed might be
Of some use.
For fifteen years, during which time
have resided in this part, near Reese's
Mill. we have been very much troubled
with thief or thieves, for scarcely any
one in the neighborhood could leave their
homes for ever so short time, but what
they would find something missing when
they returned. The troubler of our peace
appears to be we'll acquainted with our
movements.
And thus it has been from. year to year.
First one farmer and then another would
lose property, yet the perpetrator of these
crimes ran at large, no one knowing who
he was. myself have lost more or less
grain every year, and in the fall of 1871
lost q great many chickens,
Last winter man was seen stealing
oats. He was mounted on grey horse.
Some of the neighbors pursued him, COM
polling him to drop sack of his plumber.
He, of course, escaped. Whenever any
of my neighbors are summoned to Dodge
vile as jurymen, they are sure to loose
some of their property, such as wheat,
corn or oats.
The thief must be provided with keys,
as have taken the precaution to lock up
my granary, but still have lost barley
twice during this winter but the unkind-
est cut of all is the loss Of very fine
Cottswold sheep, that had for breeding
purposes, few nights ago that went after
the stolen property.
Now, NJ. Editor, | am not particularly
partial to having my property stolen, and
for one would advise the pcrpetrator of
these thefts to desist from his evil prac
tees. We cannot live in such commu-
nifty, and we, as a neigh borhood, propose
to rid ourselves in some way of any such
nuisance. shall write considerable
palmer hereafter if haYe the provoca
ton. Yours, respectfully,
Thomas IL. J ONES,
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24
School Report.
School report of School District No. II
town of Highland, for month ending Jan

School report of School District No. II,
town of Highland, for month ending Jan
uary Sd, 1878:
The scholarship shows the per cent of
lessons, deducting all loss from failures OF
absence. The Roll of Honor includes all
who have been 100 in department and at
tendance during the entire month. The
following are on the Roll of Honor:
Edward Boulder, Louisa Humbert, Til
man Arm6eld, George Darnall, Emma
johnson, Ella Armfed, James Humbert.
Those above 90 in scholarship, deport-
ment and attendance, are Ada Boulder,
Orville Armfeld, John Laufenberg, Mary
Laufenberg, William Moyse, Thaddeus
Houstan, Levi Darnall. Those abov . 63
in scholarship, department and attend
ance, and not above go, are Peter Laufen-
berg, Adolf Laufenberg. Earnest Moyse,
Nina Oleston, Christian Christensen, j.
Christianson, William Houstan and Hor-
ace Bishop.
BLANCHE DINocK, Teacher.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24

NEcK-TIE SocIABLE.-The members Of
Amctia Lodge, No. 43, I. 0. ofG. Z. pre-
pose giving one Of those entertainments
which have caused so much pleasure and
amusement throughout the State during
the present winter, at their hall, on the
corner of iowa and Division Streets, Or
Friday evening, January 3lst, 1873. Each
lady is required to bling neck-tie of the
same color as her dress. as an admission
fee; and each gentleman pays twenty five
cents as an admission fee. for which he
receives neck-tie. Oysters, peaches,
strawberries, cake, coffee, etc will be fur
nished in abundance The public is cor
daily invited to attend. The proceeds are
to be used in carpeting the Good Tempars'
Hall
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24
ew- Remember we do Job work neatly
and promptly at this Office.

No MORE EXPLOSIONS OF LAMPs.-Dr. J /.
B. Scott, otter many years of experiment
ing, has made wonderful discovery for
the prevention Of kerosene oil from ex-
ploding in lamps. This compound has
been successfully tried by many persons,
and found to be all that is claimed for it.
Among few that have tried the article,
and proved its worth in this place, are DR..
G. W. Burial, Adam Eulberg, John Il.
Penberthy, James Roberts and others
VIM. H. Roberts, of this place, is sols
agent for this county for the above useful
article.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24

RAN AwAY.-On the evening of the
18th inst. about 6 o'clock, grey, four
year old horse. The horse broke loose
from its owner and ran away with the
harness on. He started from Hyde's Mil
and was last seen on the road going to-
wards Hickox's old mill. Nothing has
been heard of the animal up to the pres
ent time. Any information in regard to
the horse will be thankfully received and
literally rewarded by leaving the same
with W. karin, Hyd es Mill. loft