, 1873-02-23
HUMOR.

HUMOR.
Cause tic1-Tle pendulum.
a Wisconsin paper adTaftises for sale 80
COW that gives milk i've years old"
Sen Captsins should be good-natured; il
would not be safe to have q can't-ancher-us u,an
to command ahip.
A lady wrote to her lover, who had become
insane, that g" he had gone out OF his mind. bat
had mover gone out Of hers.
Among the saddcst episodes in the lsta
storm in Minnesota was tho freezing OF tha
hands. nose. foreleaa everything except the
cheea, OF q life insurance agent.
"A correspondent asks il Kaiser Wilhelm in
related to the Car. From what We have heard
OF HIS Majesty g habits ne should say he Was
cussin German
The editor Of q Pennsylyania 'spatent in-
"arder got of smart thing last week. It wa9
mustard plaster that ho So. down on just be~
fore retiring for the night.
-" Mike. will you come In and take drink 74
Mike looked at the man for tho space Of hAIE
minute, and then, rolling his eyes UPWARD,
very softly said: II tot it WAS an angel shpaki1
to me-"
"A Michigan clergyman wrote to lottery
agent: do not approve OF 1otteries; rogaEd
thern - no botter than gambling schemes. MN
son bought ticket No. in yorr drawing, but il
it drew anything don't send the 1nonay to him
sand it to me-" The clergyman will probably
feel relieved to learn that the ticket didn't dra1
anything.
As an early morning train drew up At 3 sta
ton; pleasant-looking gentleman stepped OUT
on the platform, and inhaltng the fresh air, en-
Enthusiastically obsarved 10 tho guard stIsnt this
,nVlGoratlngs II "No. sir, it's Yonkers," replied
The conscientious emp1oye.
"A gentleman favorably known in high circlea
in Philadelphia, named Jacob Stone, was relstinE
to = Sabbath School his travels in the Holy Land
and, among other things, told the scholars OF
the ascent Of Mount Pisgeh. On the following
Sunday the teacher asked, in the cou1se Of the
LESSON who assembled Mount Pisgah. 4 littIs
1rr$,1 k1rn -s.k.
Jacob Stone.''
The following conversation between two
clever lawyers WAS overheard: How docs youE
client like it," "Not oyermuch; begins to eom-
Bapa q @ iss % 10 10 h s5
must work for it," :'Youll get beat Of conrao.
in the end; but you'll appeal, Of COURSE" "O4
courae."
"A man whom DR.. Chalmers engaged ia
manage disorderly Sunday -school kept his
eyes vide open during praying, and, when ona
boy thrust pin into another, he m.rched uR
the aslo, still praying, and cufed that boy'8
earg. and vent back again, PRAYING I'll the r.y&
tho boys thought TINT man who could HatcM
and pray like that could not be put down.
= Miss Kitty -, daughter OF DR.. -, 1oveG
herf.ther, and tales an interest in his profess
her. md aeked hoH sha was, and how she vna
getting along. sob. pretty WE'LL" answered
AI;ss Kitty, "pretty wcli !; plenty Of colds, soma
bronchitis, aud little tEphna fever; but, an
what We want ia nice little epidsmic.n
"A group of young women arc discussing tho
now minister: "What do you think Of his ser--
mon? GOOD, wasnl it?" Oh, vas awfullE
never could abide that re1.y bright red hair"
"A psnbury boy who reads tho papers wenE
to his father with 1opo in his hand and told
shat worthy that, il be did not gise him so centa
to buy tTo-bladcd jacknife, he would forth
with hang himself. It Ne, the place Of the old
the awful thought-heres the 50 cents" Hs
didn't say it, however. He merely twined his
fingers in TIE Young mans tresses, .nd bumped
h.s head sgalns: TIC q do9r-lam until the snlcid<
"A nina OF Epson salts has been dlscovered
IN Minnesota: The sanitary advantages OF thia
mine 10 the State have an ancient veri1cation is
On epitsph taten from tombstone in chdwald
Here lies mo and my thres daughters.
brought here ~ using s.idltz waters:
I, 4 We .,1s1 nag stuss s to s Epson q TT.
"s nou'en A'o ~ - 1Aeae nels '&a's
o5 the hydrants: Il Vas New Years. and hs wa9
rejoicing undertho influence OF aoous thousand
drops OF 10y. ne ran against hyaEant, while
uo1ae"a1o nouna, wotKln8 iong Iongttudes. Aa
'nappensesa1 70 mlstake me hydfant Tor colored
coy. 'scuse me, sonnie, !, said he, pstting the
hyoEaht patesnaly- Dldnt run you down boz
Cause you "as oiac1- GfoW up lhlcI and De
use1ql man lhcl initiate thlc5 my examp!a.'
Ana aa nc ~. = 4uaIer On us nozzle and went On
hsd maas ana noor son1 ,1annv sn@' M
,n-..:n 5to.eeaos " I'atula1 fn1oeopny 10 q
. .el.nn cohees eave tno c!ass problem TO th.nS
1f 1Te. anl1ng tne n'gnt ana AnsMer 1he next d1yz
1on1r the csn1a @nt ~ ~. e,1 no'e e we're 6o5ea
'iue, ';, anu pa! "ere afopped INTO u, what mo-
'iona .oo1a the pau pa8o through, 1nd nos4