The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-01
A Musical JOker-Discemfited Gus.
iOm.HOuse Official,

The New \ ork Tunes gives an anus
ing account Of the eccentricitIes OF a
certain French musician, from which
we extract the following passages; Nev-
er at rest, travelling from one part OF
the continent to another, bis chief OBJ
iect in life seemed to be to worry Gus
tom House officials. Arriving at some
particular country, where ideas OF free
trade were OF the most enlightened
character, provided with a quantity Of
baggage, an inimitable actor, he would
pretend to conceal two of them, a
huge trunk and a smaller one, from the
ewes of the officials only the more to ex-
cite their curiosity. At last the larger
trunk would be opened. 1t would be
found to contain thousands of second
hand pantaloon straps, an appendix
to trousers now perfectly ubso-
lete. In vain the Custom House peo-
pie would try to cudgle their brains to
solve the mystery. They had all to be
bundled out to the very last one, but TO
their amazenent no two straps were
found alike. They had evidently been
packed by hydraulic pressure, for the
most frantic efforts on the part Of the
employees would not put them back
again Ito the trunk. In the mean
time hundreds OF passengers were
storming at the detention, while the
practical joker calmly looked on at the
bother he was causing. But the second
and smaller trunk was now to be exam
ined, and the Custom House people
hoped there to find him in default.
They asked for the keys. The practi'
cal Joker draws lunches OF ponderous
keys from every one OF his pockets;
none will fit, until, at last, their pa
thence is exhausted, the Custom House
officers threaten to burst the trunk open.
Then the possessor OF this particular
trunk calmly asks the angry officer if
he is married. "What is that your
business p is the surly reply. "OnIy
this that before you open that trunk
| would advise you to 20 home, shake
hands with your wife, kiss your
little children, write your will
and call at an undertakers
az YOU come back - there are
rattlesnakes in that trunk. l never
travel without them" OF course the
man leaves the trunk instantly, and a
messenger has to be sent to the head
director, who is shrewd enough to be
aware that he has to do with some
practical joker. Presently the official
returns, and asks, pompously, how
many snakes have you, sir? "Only
elk" is the reply, "look for yourself"
"Oh only six" The de-
partment says six snakes can pass, but
that seven would have to pay duty. !
am also directed TO state to you, that II
YOU do not leave this office-pantaloon-
straps, snakes and all, in five minutes
YOU will be forcibly elected" "And
who is to repack my precious straps, a
collection unequaled in the history Of
the world. The law entitles me to a.!
nv good,. You took them out, put
them back again. The best period Of
nv lie is being devoted to finding
pairs OF those straps. But l am in the
cruel grasp Of the law, and have no
one to defend my rights save this, my
companion" and here the practical
Joker uucovers bis head, surmounted
by a peculiar high hat, from which
appears a snow-whight diminutive
Bantam cock. The chicken raises
himself up from bejoker's head, claps
bis wings, crows three times, the hat
is put on again, the chicken goes to
roost on his head, and having in about
fifteen minutes driven the Custom
House people to madness, besides an
noying host OF anxions travellers the
practical Joker disappears.