Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-05
THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE.


THE PROUD MISS MAC BRIDE.
BY JOHN G. SAKE.
O, TERRIBLY proud was Miss Mac Bride
The very personifcatiOn of Pride,
As she minced along in Fashions tide,
Adown Broadway,-on the proper side
When the golden setting;
There was pride in the head she carried so high
Pride in her lip and pride in her eye,
And a world of pride in the very sigh
That her stately bosom was fretting;
sigh that pair of elegant feet,
Sandaled in satin, should kiss the street,
The very same that the vulgar greet
In common leather not over neat
For such is the common booting;
(And Christian tears may well be shed,
That even among our gentlemen bred,
The glorious day of Morocco is dead,
And Day and Martin refining instead,
On a much inferior fOotingD
O, terribly proud was Miss Mac Bride,
Proud of her beauty and proud of her pride,
And proud of fifty matters beside
That would MT have borne dissection;
Proud of her wit and proud of her walk,
Proud of her teeth and proud of her talk,
Proud of her knowing cheese from chalk
On very slight inspection
Proud abroad and proud at home,
Proud wherever she Glanced to come,
When she glad and when she was glum;
Proud as the head of a Saracen
Over the door of tippling shop =
Proud as duchess. proud as fop,
Proud as boy with bran-new top
Proud beyond comparison!
1t seems singular thing to say
But her very senses led her astray
Respecting all humility;
In sooth, her dull auricular drum
Could find in HUMBLE only hum
And heard no sound of gentle come,
In talking about gentility.
What Lowry meant she didn't know
For she always avoided everything low
With the most punctilous,
And queerer still, the audible sound
OF 'super-silly' she never had found
In the adjective superciliousl
The meenng of MEEK she never knew
But imagined the phrase had something to do
With Moses,'-a peddling German Jew,
Who, like all hawkers the country through
Was person of no position;
And it seemed to her exceedingly plain
To the vulgar German it was MT germane
To lady of high condition!
Even her graces-not her grace,
For that was in the 'vocative case'-
Chilled with the touch of her icy face,
sat very stiffly upon her;
She never confessed favor aloud,
Like one Of the simple, common crowd
But coldly smiled, and family bowed
AS who should say: You do me proud
And do yourself an honorP
And yet the pride of Miss Mac Bride,
Although it had fifty hobbies to ride,
Had really no foundation;
But like the fabrics that gossips devise-
Those single stories that often arise
And grow till they reach four story size,-
Was merely fancy creation!
'Tis curious fact as ever was known
In human nature, but often shown
Alike in castle and cottage
That pride, like pigs of certain breed,
Will manage to live and thrive on feed
AS poor as paupers pottage
That her wit should never have made her vain,
Was, like her face sufficiently plain
And as to her musical powers,
Although she sang until she was hoarse
E1ilu lSouCu uOlSS WIN a Oanker S force,
They were just such notes as we never indorse
For any acquaintance of ours
Her birth, indeed, was uncommonly high,
FOR Miss Mac Bride first opened her eve
Through sky-light dim, on the light of the sky
But pride is a curious passion,
And in talking about her wealth and worth,
She always forgot to mention her birth,
TO people of rank and fashion,
OF all the notable things on earth,
The queerest one is pride of BIRTH
Among our fierce Democracier
bridge across hundred years.
without prop to save it from sneers,-
Not even couple of rotton Peers-
thing OF laughter, fieers and jeers,
Is American aristocracy!
English and Irish French and Spanish
German Italian, Dutch and Danish
Crossing their veins until they vanish
In one conglomeration
So subtle tangle of Blood, indeed,
No heraldry- Harvey will ever succeed
In finding the circulation!
Depend upon it my snobbish friend,
Your family thread you can't ascend
without good reason to apprehend
You may find it waxed at the farther end
by some plebeian vocation!
Or, worse than that, your boasted Line
May end in loop of stronger twine
That plagued some worthy relation.
But Miss Mac Bride hath something beside
Her lofty birth to noursh her PRIDE
For rich was the old paternal Mac Bride,
According to public rumor;
And he lived Up Town, in splendid Square,
And kept his daughter on dainty fare.
And gave her gems that were rich aud rare
And the finest rings and things to wear,
And feathers enough to plume herI
An honest mechanic was John Mac Bride,
As ever an honest calling Piled
Or graced an honest ditty;
For John had worked in his early day.
In Pots and Pearls the legends saw.
And kept shop with rich array
VI things in the soap and candle way
In the lower part of the city.
No rara avis was honest john
CThats the Latin for sable swan0
Though, in one of his fancy flashes,
wicked wag who meant to deride
Called honest John old Phoenix Mac Bride,
Because he rose from his ashesp
Little by little he grew to rich,
By saving of candle-ends and 'sich,'
| III ne reached, at last an opulent niche
| No very uncommon affair;
| For history quite confirms the law
Expressed in the ancient Scottish saw,
MIcKLE may come to be Mayrl
Alackl for many ambitious beaux!
She hung their hopes upon her nose,
| Crhe figure is quite HoratianD
Until from habit the member grew
As queer thing ever you knew
Turn up to observation!
thriving tailor begged her hand
But she gave the fellew' to understand
By violent manual action,
She perfectly scorned the best of his clan
And reckoned the ninth of any man
An exceedingly Vulgar Fraetion!
Another, whose sign golden boot,
Was mortified with bootless suit,
In way that quite APPALLING;
For though regular sutor by trade,
He was MT suitor to suit the maid
Who cut him off with saw,-and babe
The cobbler keep his calling.'
(The muse must let the secret out
There is MT the faintest shadow of doubt
That folks who oftenest sneer and fout
At the dirty low meehanicalss