The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-08-06
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Every woman may be said to
eXLsat forty.
@ Zeal without knowledge is fire
without light.
intellectual farming-Harrowing
a mans feelings.
& Back pay-Settling for a coat
or getting thrashing at school.
- The band to accompany a lady
vocalist-A husband.
A man was arrested recently for
being intoxicated with delight.
Bees extract sweets from the
most poisonous plants.
1t is estimated that the mills in
California consume 1000 pounds
of quicksilver pei month.
What is that from which, It you
take the whole, some will will re-
MAN? Wholesome.
A gentleman in fit Of absent
mindedness, Told another that he
had two sons-both boys.
WHY'S early grass like a pen
knife /? because the spring rings
the blades.
If your uncle's sister is not your
aunt, what relation is she to you ?
She isyour mother.
Pat was asked the other day if
he understood French. eyes. yer
honor, if its spoken in Irish"
Why is a lovely young lady like
a hinge? Because she is something
to. adore.
It is wonderful how the blind
beggars iu.ascity can tell the diff
ference between ten cents and a
quarter.
How would you express, in two
letters, that you were twice the.
size of your companions? l W
(I double you.
A cloth saturated with 'chloro-
form and applied to the wound, is
said to be a sure cure for rattlesnaEe
bite.
Why is a man who makes addi-
tions to false rumor like one who
has confidence in all that is told
him? Because he relies on all
that he hears.
A gentleman lying in bed one
morning was informed that he had
better get up quick, breakfast was
lust coming up. >"Let it come"
he replied, defiantly. ''It will find
me ready to meet itn'
A Danbury man is the unenvied
owner of a dog that is terror to
the neighbors, purely by its snap
ping and snarling rropensities. He
snaps at everybody, and knows a
little something of the favor of
everybody up that way. 1t is esti-
mated that he has cloth enough in
him to make pair of breeches for
everybody on Long Island Sound.
The other day youth loaded up
tie end of stick with a mixture
compounded with horse-radish and
cayenne pepper, and commenced
shaking it through the fence at the
cur, and the cur flew UP and caught
the bart savagely; and the. boy
drew the stick away so sharply that
it left all the contents in the ami
mails mouth, and the animal chew
ed away on it in awful exultation
for an instant. Then, it commenced
to stare, and then spit, and howl,
and weep, and paw, and roll over,
and finally ran under the barn,
where it remained for two days in
religious seclusion. Now, when
anybody pokes stick through the
fence that dog don't step up. 1t
merely looks over, as much as to
say ::.E"No seasoning in mine, if
you please
John Easten Cooke has, in the
last Appleton's Journul, a very in
teresting paper on the Historic
Houses of the Shenandoah" 1t is
a theme very congenial to an author
who has made the tife and times of
the Virginia Of former days spe-
cial study, and whose Virginia
Comedians and descriptions Of
the stately hospitality Of the IA
nous estates on the James are
among the best, if not the very
BEST. things he has done. Few
know the historic importance of
the "reminiscences connected with
the winding and beautiful Shenan-
doah and its broad valley. The
first cut in the article referred to
is "Greenway Court, a modest
one-story and attic stone house,
with gable windows and sloping
roof extending unbroken over a
wide porch in front, and hanging
Iow. Here, in the eighteenth CEN
Jury, dwelt Lord Fairfax, proprietor +;