Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-12-04
BREVITIES.
BRONZE silks are the latest.

AN Ohio man has invented a patent
baby.
ONE touch of panic makes the whole
world shin.
REFINED kerosene is offered at ten cents
per gallon in Oil City, Pa.
LADIES who light up we'll at night
those who have l~anternjaws.
A Boston court has fined George
Devan for kicking a dog and breaking
his leg.
THE reason why a watch is called a
watch is, evidently, because it is always
on its guard.
Stop grum bling at the fruits or mis-,
takes of others, and attend faithfully to
your w affairs.
AN excellent cure for dyspepsia il this
Give "a hungry dog a piece Of meat, and
chase him till he drops it.
JAPANESE silks, despite the many new
dress materials, retain their popularity,
especially for evening teilettes.
The old maxim that man proposes" is
fatty contradicted by Massachusetts
spinsters. who only wish he did.
THE railroad train that's run into by
another is ~telescoped; the man who Is
run into by Il Texas oX.s stecroscoped.
THE Fort Scott, Kansas, Monitor says:
''The two men hanging to the blackjack,
across the bridge, died of too much
horse"
A YOUNG lady at Hillsboro, N. c.,
crawled under the canvass of a circus
and stabbed a teamster who tried to put
her out.
A CURIOUS fact in natural history, i'm
portant to tea-planters, has been dlscov-
reed, namely, that locusts will not eat
tea-leaves.
Now that the cold weather has really set
in, prudent people appear at entertain
ments smelling very strong OF camphor
and tobacco.
IN Missouri they elect editors as hon
orary members of the Changers, but the
farmers generally call them Urinary
members.
A KEEN observer of human nature and
the human countenance says that that
oma looks older who tries the hardest
to conceal her age.
GEORGIA now makes every yard of cot
ton used in three Southern States, and
new mills are going up in Tennessee,
Alabama and Florida.
Don't hoard your money; bat loan it
or use it to relieve the Needy, on the same
principle as you would give bread to the
needy in a day of famine.
A BIG RAPIDS, Mich, man, who was an
noyed by Il neighbours bees, and failed to
get relief by litigation, is now retaliating
by growing yellowjackets.
WASHING machines will be more fash
iOnable than ever this winter, and many
young ladies will take their first lessons in
this household accomplishment.
In 1869 two hundred black, bass were
put into the SusQuehanna River, at Har-
risburg, and a man recently caught one
hundred and sixty during a few days va
cation.
A CORRESPONDENT, writing from Sara
tOga, says Of the hotels: The net profits
for the season are as follows: Clarendon,
$4,000; Union, $4,000; Congress Hall,
$3.50.
AN athletic Skowhegan, Maine, girl
kicked an untavored sutton down some
steep stairs the other night, and injured
him so that for two days his life was de-
SPARED OF.
AVOID having con1dants. The most
hllilCtkt tiIiIS VI liz w http IL
secret; and if you canno preserve your
own, how can you expect that another
person will.
OF the 1914 country banks in Massachu-
sets, only nine suspended currency pay
ment during the late panic, and these
only temporarily. All have since re-
sumed.
DURING a sermon in the chapel Of the
Georgia State Prison, 500 convicts struck
up, "We'll all drink stone blind" and
they had to be marched down stairs. They
didn't like the Chaplain.
A JUDGE in Alabama recently inter
rupted a very tlowery young orator with
"Hold on, hold on, my lear sir! Don't
go any higher. You are already out of
the jurisdiction of this court"
OUNCE PUDDING.-Stew and strain
eight ounces. Add a halfpound of sugar,
six eggs, a pint of milk or cream. Season
or not, as may be preferred. Baked in a
dish lined and ornamented with pastry.
THOSE little tin pipes for propelling
spit balls and dried peas have got around
again. They come in the time of the
greatest pressure upon the brain Of the
young student, and afford incalculable re-
lief.
Do NOT attempt to cultivate too many
plants, remembering that one strong,
handsome-shaped, healthy plant is worth
more than ten or twelve sickly things,
that are lanky, scraggy, and never bios
som.
CABBAGEs.-The best plan for storing
cabbagcs is to invert the heads and cover
with -four to six inches of earth, leaving
the roots exposed. A dry place, where
the water will not stand, should be Sc
iected.
We are pretty good at matrimonial
mathematics, but we confess that a head
line in the indianapolis Sentinel, -Four
weddings in a single night-ten hearts
made happy" gets away with us-so to
speak.
DR.. HOLBRooK tells everybody to wear
white undergarments, as people some
times die from the effect of the dye in the
colored articles. A man must be careful
how he clothes his person or he may close
his life.
THE melodious buzz-saw continues to
be a popular plaything with small boys,
and lately, at Cambridge City, Ind,
another of the little fellows found it so
funny that he didn't stop till three fingers
were sawed If.
AN essay on centrifugal Force and
Gravitation," by John Harris of London,
takes exception to the theories of the in
clination of the earth's axis to the elliptic
of the suns axis, and of the orbital path
of the earth.
A WRITER in Nature. arguing from the