Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-06-04
PHUNNYGRAMS.
From the Danbury News. I

FROM the DanDury News.
EARLY garden stuff is seeming up finely,
owing to a warm sun and the hens next
door. aHs s
Everybody must have taken down the
Family Bible on last Sunday. The dust
was intolerable.
Three old boots, a gaiter and a hoop
skirt IN front OF house indicate that the
family has moved
Carpenters are fearfully careless about
putting up closet hooks. A Philadelphia
woman broke down four before she could
hang herself
"A Danbury man who has been mar
ried thirty-five years says there is more
power for evil in a small rae Garnet that
has been down six months than there is in
a twelve-barrel tank of whisky.
There was an elderly gentleman
vending his way to the barber-shop, Sat
urday afternoon. Coming from an oppo-
site direction was an unshaven man. The
shop lay between them. The unshaven
man quickened his step; the elderly man
struck into a trot. Then the unshaven
man stopped to look into window, and
the elderly man came back to walk Up
started the unshaven man again, and the
elderly man resumed his trOt The I'M
shaver man once more slackened up; so
did the elderly man. Then the unshaven
man quickened his gait, and the elderly
man once more struck into a trot, and
reached the door painting and putting as
the unshaven man went by. And vet Wo-
men are dissatisfied with their sphere.
One of the best cement cellar floors
in this town is that of a Pine street resi-
dent, and the one who sincerely and even
protanely regrets this fact is the man him
self. His wife left plate of bread pud-
ding on the cellar stairs, Saturday, to cool
for dinner, and, unknown to her, he went
down there for pitcher of cider When
he and the pudding met there was a time
His wife heard an awful crash, which al
most paralyzed her, but before she could
move to see what was the matter he came
tearing into the kitchen, with one hand on
his pocket and the other swinging mys-
teriously in the air, and streak of steam
ing pudding the whole length of his back,
and he was shrieking camphor and pro-
family at every leap.
"A Danbury man is the unenvied own
er of dog that is terror to the neigh
bors, purely by its swapping and snarling
propensities. He snaps at everybody, and
knows a little something of the flavor of
everybody up that way. 1t is estimated
that he has cloth enough in him to make
a pair OF breeches for everybody on Long
Island Sound. The other day a youth
loaded up the end of stick with mix
ture compounded with horse-radish and
cayenne pepper, and commenced shaking
it through the fence at the cur, and the cur
flew up and caught the bait savagely;
and the boy drew the stick away so sharp
ly that it left all the contents in the ami
10 oo1 .ol~<
away on it IN awful exultation for an in
slant. Then it commenced to stare, and
then spit, and howl, and weep, and paw,
and roll over, and finally run under the
barn. where it remained for two DAYS in
religious seclusion. Now, when anybody
pokes stick through the fence that dog
don't step up. 1t merely looks over, as
much as to say: mo seasoning in mine,
if you please"
Cure for Burns.-Scalds and burns
which are not much more than skin deep
are instantly relieved of pain by using an
application made of oil and lime-water
! Pour water on a lump of unslacked lime;
as soon as it is clear, stir in sweet oil until
1t IS as thick as thick cream, by Stacking,
and apply it freely at the time, and subse
| quently as often as any discomfort arises.
Ii bolilng water is poured on the lime
rock, it will clear in few minutes Good
druggists always keep lime water on
hand. Families would do we'll to keep a
bottle OF the mixture always on hand; it
Will keep year, and can be taken and
USED at moments notice, the natural
SKIN growing again without a scar, and
without the inconvenient hard caking of
| flour.
JUSTICE BOWLING wants $4,000 from
the New York San for saying that he
opened court, the other day, by asking a
prisoner for ''chaw," and wound up by
adlournlng to the front room to take a
| drink.
| a MAN in the Worcester (Mass.) House
| OF Correction iS Sar,yinu hic fiftu cncOp6