The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1873-07-19


A G~ooD-LooKING young lady entered a
crowded horse-car, and looked in vain for
some gallant young man to offer her a
seat. A very portly life insurance agent
called out to her, Here, my girl, sit
down on my lap" With a look of dis
gust she glanced at his knees and replied,
q can't sir, you haven't got a lap" And
then everybody laughed, except the cor
pulent gent.
FLORAL romance does not succeed in
the South. Several sentimental girls at
Athens, Ca, remembering the supersti-
ton that, by swallowing heartsease whole
and expressing u wish, the wish is graft
fed, tried the experiment, and were made
very i'll. They now think that hearts
ease should be called stomachache to pre-
vent the recurrence Of such blunders.
"YoU are the dullest boy I ever saw"
GROSSLY exclaimed a bald-headed old uncle
to his nephew. We'll, uncle, replied
the youth, with a glance at the old gem
tleman's bald head, "you can't expect me
to understand things as quick as you do,
because you don't have the trouble of
getting 'em through your hair"
A FRENcHMAN being about to remove
his shop, his landlord inquired the reason,
stating, at the same time, that it was con-
sidered a very good stand for business.
The Frenchman replied, "0h, yes, he's
very good stand for de business by gar,
me stand all day, for nobody come to
make me more"
A BALI headed man says that he can't
sleep a wink after daylight any more, ow-
ing to the flies and mosquitoes which get
on the top of his head, where they skate
and slide around so recklessly as to give
him the idgets all the time they are TAX
ing their recreation.
A BEAUTIFUL young girl, who has been
travelling in the West as a drummer for a
wholesale grocery house of Boston, has
just been discharged by her employers,
because she induced the retail dealers to
order more goods than they were able to
dispose of or pay for.
On the eve of a battle an officer came
to ask permission of the commander to
60 and see his father. who was on his
death bed. $50" said the general, "you
honor your father and your mother, that
your days may be long upon the land"
A days work for the hired men of some
of the farmers of Taunton six years ago,
was from the time "they could not see
stars in the morning until they could see
stars in the evening"" This is a little
different days work from eight hours.
WERE you guarded in our conduct
while in New York ?" asked a father of
his son, who had just returned from a
visit to that city. ayes, sir partof the
time by two policemen"
The Boston Post says that Mrs. Sher-
man, the poisoner, is allowed to take
care otthe plants in the Connecticut State
prison, and that she poisons the bugs
beautifully.
ALpHoNso, the dandy clerk Of Brook
Ign, says he has yet to see the first wo-
mar come INTO the dry goods store where
he is employed, who knows Just what she
wants.
AN Iowa merchant won't advertise in
the papers, but paints ON the fences. $50
tew Aliens for yer dri-goods."
In economical Oberlin, Ohio. invita-
tons to a fashionable wedding were is
sued on postal cards.
The latest thing in marriage announc-
ments reads thus mo cards. No pres
ents. No divorce"
The Great Eastern 'pays out" more
than any other ship that ever hoated.
GIRLS are taught type setting at an in
dustrial school in Vienna.
QUEEN VICTORIA has outlived officially
twelve OF her premiers.