Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-10-24
A TALE OF ENGLISH MAIL-COACH
DAYS.

An English gentleman, of true John
Bull proportions, weighing some eighteen
or twenty stone, had occasion to travel
in summer by stage-coach from Oxford to
London. The stage carried six inside {;
and our hero engaged two places (as, in
consideration of his size, he usually did)
for himself. The other four seats were
taken by Oxford students.
These youths, being lighter than our
modern Lambert, reached the stage be-
fore he did, and each snugly possessed
himself of q corner seat, leaving a center
seat on each side vacant. The round,
goOd-tempered face of John Ball soon
after appeared at the carriage-door, and
peering into the vehicle and observing
the local arrangements, it's owner said,
with smile: "You see | am of pretty
comfortable size, gentlemen; so | have
taken two seats. 1t will greatly oblige
me if one of you will kindly move into
the opposite seat so that | may be able
to enter"
"My good SIR" said pert young law
student, possession is nine-tenths of the
law. You engaged two seats. There
they are, one on each side. We engaged
one each, came first, entered regularly
into possession, and our titles to the seats
we occupy are indisputable."
81 do not dispute your titles" said the
other, "but trust to your politeness, see
ing how the case stands, to enable me to
pursue my journey"
80, hang politenessr' said hopeful
young scion Of some noble house. 81 have
a horror of a middle seat, and would not
take one to oblige my grandmother; it's
ungraceful as well as uncomfortable; and,
besides, one has no chance Of looking at
the pretty girls plOng the road. Good old
gentleman, arrange your concerns as you
please; stick to my corner" And he
leaned back, yawned, and settled himself
with hopeless cOmposure in his place.
Our corpulent friend, though a man
not easily discomposed, was somewhat
put out by this unmannerly obstinacy.
He turned to a smart-looEing youth with
81 nper on his face-a clerical
student who had hitherto sat in rev
cry, possibly thinking over his chances of
a rich benitice in the future. "Will you
accommodate me ?' he asked; "this is the
last stage that starts for London to-day,
and business of urgent importance calls
me to town."
"Some temporal affair, no doubt" said
the graceless youth, with mock of grav-
ity; "some speculation with filthy lucre
for its object. Good father, at your age
your thoughts should turn heavenward,
instead of being confined to the dull
heavy tabernacle Of clay that chains us
to earth" And his companions roared
with laughter at the "clever joke"
A glow of indignation just colored the
strangers check; but he mastered the
feeling in moment, and said, with much
.compOsure, to the fourth, care you also
determined that | shall lose my place; or
will you oblige me by taking a center
seat?''
''Ay, do, Tom," said his lordship to the
person addressed; ''hes something in the
way of your profession, quite physio-
logical curiosity. You ought to accom-
modate him"
MAY be poiso ned if I dol" replied
the student of medicine. 'In a dissect-
ing-room, he'd make an excellent sub. {;
but in a coach, and this warm weather,
too! Old gentleman, if you'll put your
self under my care, I'il engage in the
course of six weeks, by a judicious course
of depletives, to save you hereafter the
expense of double seat. But, really, to
take middle seat in the month of July
is contrary to all the rules of hygeine,
and a practice to which have a profes-
sional objection"
And the laugh was renewed at the old
gentleman's expense.
BY this time the patience of coachee, who
had listened to the latter part Of the dia-
logue, was exhausted. "Harkee, gemmen,' y
said he, "settle the business as you like {;
but it wants just three-quarters of min
ute of twelve, and with the first stroke of
the University clock my horses must be
off. would not wait three seconds longer
for the king, God bless him. 'Twould be as
much as my place is worth" And with
that he mounted his box, took up the
relns, bld the hostler shut the door, and
sat with upraised whip, listening for the
expected stroke
AS it sounded from the venerable belfry,
the horses, as If they recognized the sig
nal, shot off at a gallon with the four
young rogues, to whom their own rude-
ness and our fat friends dilemma afford
ed prolific theme for merriment durin o
the whole stage.
Meanwhile the subject of their mirth
hired a postchaise, followed and over
took them at the second change of horses.
where the passengers got out ten minutes
for lunch. AS the postchaise drove up tc
the inn door, two young chimney-sweeps
passed with their bags and brooms and
their well-known cry.
Come hither, my lads" said the cor
pulent gentleman, "what say you to &
rider"
The whites of their eyes enlarged into