The Placer herald., 1873-11-08
AUBURN, PLACER COUNTY, CALIFORNIA, NOVEMBER

very well until he ran the lumber against
the slins Of a pedestrian, who opened such
a terrible fuslade on Mr. 2. that he was
obliged to sit down on the barrow and med
itate on the beauties of the English Ian
guage. 1t being quite dark, Piper did not
recognize the exasperated individual, yet
he thoroughly understood what the man
said.
After the pedestrian had sufficiently
vented his righteous indignation, he told
Piper he had better move on with his dead
fall he had no objection to being crucifed,
if it was done in decent manner. He then
departed, shaking his fist at p, who mcekly
resumed his labor
One man, in passing. asked P. if the ex-
ecution was to be made public, and what
time he was going to erect the gibbet.
Another man asked him what time the
main body of the menagerie would be
along.
A third man told him he ought to 60 on
to the park by the other gate, as it would
be nearer to where the old tent was
pitched.
More Or less annoyed, Mr.. p. finally
reached his gateway, and was apparently
going through all right, when unfortunately
the barrow came so forcibly in contact with
an obstruction that Piper pitched head first
over the barrow, and the bedstead came
gathering over him Then there was few
smothered CALCULATIONS, among which could
be distinguished Chs delight-Vermont
cousins, old catamaran of mother-in-law,
etc. Mr. Piper crawled from the wreck,
felt of himself to see if he was all there,
then rammed the vehicle into the fence, and
canied the bedstead, a piece at a time, to
the door.
The "old catamaran" opened the door,
excla ming, ooh, it's nobody but Piper!'
then to F., "we thought somebody had
core' from the noise you made
"Well hanent l come ?" snapped p,
cor amt anybody ?" Then in an under
tone, "You'd think somebody had come if
had your darned old neck in my grip
"What's that you say?" cried Pipers
wife.
"Nothing, only wish somebody would
help me up stairs with this trap"
At last he got the thing into the chamber,
where he tried to put it together. First he
set one post against the wall, and stuck one
end of the rail therein Then he drew
foot post up and entered the other end Of
the rail, just as first end came down to the
floor. Piper then said something, not in
the dictionary. Next he put one end of the
rail into the two head posts. Serving the
foot part likewise, he soon got the affair to-
gether. The next minute he discovered
that he had left out the head board. He
scowed little, but smiled the next instant,
as he thought how he could fix it without
undoing bis work. So he took the head
board, aud gradually spreading the posts,
nearly accomplished the business when the
foot began to lean. He tried to save things,
but it was no go, he had just time TO get
out of the way, when the whole arrange
ment came down with deafening crash.
His wife's mother came to the foot of the
stairs and asked him if he couldn't make
less noise-it disturbed the company.
Mr.. p. then said he'd be cussed if he'd
put the id thing up unless he had help;
fourteen men and boy couldn't do it.
One Of the Vermont cousins, a black
eyed, rosy checked girl, offered to 60 up
and help him. She went up, and Piper
said be never saw bedstcad go up 80 sleek
in his life
He wished dozen times it would fall
down again, anu once he was about to push
it over, but desisted when he saw the scalp
lock of his old fummy-in-law just rising
the top stair.
When the arrangements for the night
were concluded Piper was informed that be
was to sleep with his wife's father. Both
men retired together; but later in the night
a man with nothing on but white gar
ment was sitting on the shed roof, silently
smoking meel schaum, while an occasional
slap told the death Of some unfortunate
mosquito.
The man was Mr.. Piper. He preferred
to pass the remainder Of the night meath
the broad canopy of heaven, rather than
endure the furious trombone blasts of bis
snoring relative. Ne,Cs.