, 1873-08-24
BR0iLED BRAINS.
Some Of the Effects Of the
Heated Term.
Trying to Get Up a Journalistic Dish
under Difficulties.
Woes of q Cnn't-Get-Awny Scrib-
bier.

bier.
Droiled brnins We thought wa Ind famous
toceipt from q renowned French cook, which we
could tranecrbo hero, and ti1us giro tho public
tho benefit Of tho knowledge, and show thom
how that portion Of n calf's personality might
be made into delicious aaueo:p|quanse: IT Ia
not to be found. Nothing over Is In this world
whom 1t is particularly wanted, unless you ere
notable porHon and nuisauco, aud know just
where to find everything, because your mind WAS
made on tho parallologram pattern, bsocted
Hike ctcclfor-board into miniature roctangles,
each OF which Ia named and numbered, and
has It's particular artic1o assigned to IL; or, as
plrenologists would say,
"You HAVE LOCALITY LARGE"
This, no doubt, ts quite correct but It has
always boon our misfortune that, the 1arger tho
locality over which wo woro suzcraine,
the less likelihood thoro WAS of our finding
tho particular thing We wanted Of tho
particular time wo wantod it. No doubt,
however, evorg honsokoepor thinks she knows
just how braiu-aauco should be mado, Just what
the brains should bo cooked Ia, for how long
time what condiments to add, and in what rota-
tion these should be put In. We do not doubt,
and, therefore, will not search for that Trench-
snan's receipt, excellent as no know It to bo.
Did over occur to you, oh! sariont public,
who get your brain-sauce everY morning "a you
60 downtown. with an extra quantity On Bun-
day, because you aro supposed to havo more
timc to digest and enjoy it, Of the
AMOUNT OF unotLBD BHA1Na
which is thus dishod up for your mental dolccta-
ton during this incandcscont woathor7 You get
fr nftxrnr uo3;y3
whero tho brains, In cooking, hnyo absorbed all
tho richness aud atrongth Of tho potent escu1cnts
which havo been added ut tho proper moment+
and which you now got in a healthy. not,ribhing
form, to tho spicy entrement, Of tie light,
frothy perafago, like nothing moro than a
whip-Byllabub. AL boiled brains, though,
luring tho Bummer-solBtice, howeyer varied tho
diah may be. Some Of 1t has boon cooking for
long time, months, perhaps, slowly, but sar-
nest}y, with tho intention Of being good, eoiid
mental meat when it Ia eventually sorvod. Moet
Of it, perhaps, is moro brain.souffe. tossed up
in a moment, broiled unexpectedly, aud diBhod
up with tho hope that, light us it is, It may provo
d'eestlblo during the lazy, season from its worry
]ightnoss. ID.
While tho brains Of tho Illuminating animal,
however, aro cooked according to rule, zach
spice, wine, and acid being added at tho exact
time apaoi fed. It is not so with the othor crea-
ture, who, It ho Is not known to tho physiciets
% Illuminating animal, nevertheless must sit
down to ruminato, while he sharpona his Faber
No. 2, and gets his blank paper. that must be
filled, ready before him. His brains
RAVE BEEN sGMtEn1Ka ALL DAT,
and eol has douo his worry beat to liquify them.
He has thus far only succeeded in
drying then, to uinlor, making it evi-
dontly an uttor impoasibility to ofTer them
whatsoever, Like huskp ho thinks. Not ono
brilliant thought to spice them with; nor & aar-
castlo ono, to give dash OF casenne nor
generous one, that shall add the hayor'of good
old Pnrt; nor even an ill-natured ono, to onu-
late the acid Of tho lemon. Nothing, after all
but the dried up-brain. It is useless to offer this
tastolosa stuff, is tho thought OF tho nom
Illuminating animal as he ruminates However,
1t must be done just 30 many hungry, gaping
have the beBt, and to whom you feel you have
nothing whatsoever to otfcr.
euadenly, however,, having rested for time
II the shelter Of cool, airy room, that Ia as
be departing, and the aroma OF some guhint idon
wine Of thought adds fullor flavor, md the
poor journalistic cook really hopoa tue dish will
not be quite 80 taBteleBs after all; when his
neIghboE, who lives next door, and who sings,
coMnENoE8 DELABoAlNa THE PIANO,
nnd emulating the tenor in Trovatore. What le
the result7 Tho brain-sauce immediately nB-
u
side singing his grief in q tenor voice, woman
outside singing horu in soprano, tho contralto
OF tho gipsy, the wall Of the nuns; and tho poor
victim to Fabor No. wondors what is to become
that tho matorial out Of which 1t must be made
was already burned to cndor and TINT only
tho most acrupulouB caro-, the ncoat cookery,
could possibly make it in the loast degree decent,
TINT this must be thrust n to take its place and
spoil it all? No use to break ponoil-points; but
"hy, OF. why, was Troyatore over Written
btopl here now is something good. pause
II tho muBc ~, and tho scribblor has just given
his brains toss, whom
THE o1EnuB BEGINS TO CRY.
Ho has cried mora or loss continuously all day,
but this il ovidontly a new departure, and one
which ho means to fight out on that limo for
several hours. TIE ls chernb belongs to the sing
tie darling :" Tho " little darling," who is
6yoars old, does not respond afirmativoly, but
fapa 10 fond OF hls own yoco, and takes It for
granted so commences m invocation Of somo
kind. probably to Pallas Athena, whom lie still
tmagines to bo in Greece, aud hopes, through
only 70 himself, to mako ha aupplcatiou heard,
providing nj. + ia 5;.y only long enough and loud
tho time, that he WAS Pallas Athene,-for he
does not believe in that wonderful acoustic
miracle in which the singer 80 evidently has
such implicit faith. Meantime,
THE 0HENUD BTILL CRIES.
Papa sings and BwoarB alternately at the Junior
howlor ID q minor key; while Mamma aud Grand
mamma Talk, pat, Hoold, COAX. strike, whip, and
otherwise try to divert It's lttio mind fn from lis
Bong without words, its grief too deep for tears,
The SUCCESS Of theaa attempts was NOT such as
TO warrant an extended continuance Of them !;
and 10 thoy stopped and left him to vail until
he vas tired. By no means. They commenced
all over again, each timo With new diversion,
going through to tho ond, and thon back again.
usolessl" thinks your cook, who is trying to
DO hs bos. tor you; co. III doapair, he fleoa from
the east side Of the house
TO THE WEST.
He is poor; 10 ho lives in cottage, It Ia not
likely that some Of you know what that means.
Woll, it means general exhibition OF ali YOUR
private skeletons for your neighbora' diveraion.