davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A traveller in the West seeing a
sign over cabin door with this one
word, "Agorsquerdere, asked the wo-
man of the house what she sold, when
she said she did not sell anything, blu,
that "agues was cured here Fl
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A Mississippi editor threatens to
'put full stop" over each of our eyes.
Let him try it; while he is putting his
full stops over our eyes, we shall put
his nose in a parenthesis.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A romping four-year boy had
been denied some triAing qualification
by his mother, but it did not seem so
trifing to him as to her, he said, with
the utmost gravity, "Mother were you
ever boy?" -l.-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A wealthy bishop congratulated a
poor priest on the good air which he
breathed in his parish, to which the
latter replied: eyes, my lord, the air
would be good enough, if l could only
live on it"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

CLOUD onv' said Patrick, as he
stood looking after the departed train,
motioning it to stop. "Hould on, ye
numbering stame ingin, yez got pas
senger aboard that's left behind"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

The latest definition of spades is,
''that agricultural implement Of invent
i've genius admirably adapted for re-
volving the superintendent mould Of
the tellurian humus."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A Chicago chap advertises fol
"steady girls to help on pantaloons.
A fellow who cant help on his OWL
pantaloons, ought % be ashamed t.
want girls to do it.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

There are two sorts of cats. We
doubt the truth of the common saying
that one of them has nine lives, but
many poor fellows back can attest
that the other has nine tails.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

At Des Moines, the other day, four
. negroes got OH spree; one took out
his little jack knife, and now there AIM
but three.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A Radical editor in Indiana threatens
to handle us "without gloves We
would certainly never think of handling
him without at least three pairs.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

There is three-fold death in the
slanderer's tongue-it kills him who
-slandered, and him who receives the
SANDER. sfa 7e4 -7sls.. tis.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

II is estimated that in 1872 800,
100000 were spent for bread, 1926, 900,
900 for tobacco, and 100000 fol
Intoxicating drinks.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

The little boy with his first cigar
and the truckman with his gentle mule
both tried TO back her and couldn't.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
What is better than a promising
young man? A paying one.

An Illinois farmer was caught in a
corn shelter, and came out with moth
ing but his boots and necktie.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

A phsyician advised patient to take
a walk on an empty stomach. "Whos e
stomach" feebly asked the invalid.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

"Pray, madam, why do you name
your old hen, Macduffa"
because sir want her to lay on )"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

'Fliza, my child" said very prud-
ish old maid to her pretty niece, who
would curl her hair in beautiful ringlets,
'if the Lord had intended your hair to
be curled, he would have done it him
self"
$50 he did, aunty, bat he thinks /
am big enough now to curl it myself"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

TTEff '3ssyg .sgTyk4
RAILROAD ADVERTISEMENTS
w GREAT S'iUTH, R, r.
Late O., A. & M. r. R!)
n0IFRT n nATTV MP AINC

=
On and after SUNDAY, May Is, 1873, two
daily passenger II aims will run between WASH
lNGTON and Lynchburg, etfecting double dali
ny connections through between New York
and New Orleans. At Gordonsville connection
is made with the Chesapeake and Ohio, Kali
road twice daily, Sunday excepted, to Rich
| mond, Staunton. and the WEST. at Lynchburg
with Atlantic, Mississippi and Ohio Railroad for
| the Vest and South west. and at Washington
| for the Nor tn and Northwest.
Leave Washington daily at 700 am and 7. co.
p. NJ, and Alexandria at $50 a. m. and 7.50-p. m
arriving at Lynchbnrg at4.2o p. m. and 4.so
a. m. te s& AL
Leave Lynehburg at g. 40 a. M and 10 As p. m. !,
/ errive at A lexandria at $40 a.. m. and 5.5U m.
and at Washington at 20. m. and 80 p.
m. @
For Manassas Division leave Washington
1 daily (exccepting Sunday with main line train
! at 700 am; and Alexandria at $50 am. Leavei
| Manassas Junction at 9.20 am. con.
meet st straseurg for Winchester and all point
on Baltimore and Ohio R. X. and arrive at
Harrisonburg at So p. M: thence by Hartman
| Cos stage1fines to Stanton, Rawley Springs
@> Eastward, leave Harrisonbnrg at $50
a m; connect at Strasburg with trains to and,
from Winchester; arrive at Manassas at 4,l5I
| a. m. connecting wtth northbound Mail train to
Alexandra, making the 90 p m. from WASH
| ington to Baltimore, Philadelphia and New
York.
No train Southwark Sunday light ana none
Northward Saturday NIGHTS. sf
Through ticketsand baggage checked to all
prominentpoints. siss
J. NJ. BROADUS,
may % If. General Ticket Agent.
baltimore AND OHIO -
ID ga1 q RAILROAD.
n NEW, ARRANGEMENT.
Quick Time from Stanton D,ad Has.
risoaebasrg to Baltimore.
Commencing March IA, 1878, trains will leave
Harrisonburg daily, except Sundays at 4.40
a. m. arrive at Baltimore at 1925 d. M.
Leave Harrisonburg $40 a. m
F" Strasburg Junction $40 sc
Winch ester 7,ts 6"
Arrive at Baltimore 1925 o. m.
e RETURNING
Leave Baltimore s,45am.
=" Winchester l;22 p. m.
=" Strasburg Junction 2,06
Arrive at Harrie onburg 4,12"
Staunton ;Ss0O"
Connections for all points West made W it'll
trains on Main Line at Harper's Ferry.
ls- No change of cars from Strasburg
Junction to Baltimore.
For through tickets apply at Office o. A. h
NJ. r. r. at Harrisonburg.
Leave W oodstock 5,24 and connects at the
junction. Ed ~
L. NJ. CbLE, General Ticket gent
S.B. JONES, General Passenger Agent
Taos. R. SHAPP, Asst Master Transpor tation 4
/. apr. 8, 1873.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

Somebody says the Mississippi has
raised one foot. When il raises the
other it will probably rum
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

X7IRGINIA TELEGRAPH COMPANY
ALEXANDRIA VA,
Stockholders in this Company will please take
notice that the following acting agents are the
only authorized persons to make collections of
money for this Company viz.
MOSES WALTON Director Woodstock
COL. G. W. MURPHY Agent Mt. jackson.
CAPT. g B. SAMUELS &c 8. Front Royal.
A. B. Trick Director Han risonburg.
ROBT. BEVERLEY President, Plains.
WIN Il. TAMS Agent Staunton
When they collect, they. will also furnish til e
party paying them, with certificate Of Stock
Money paid to any other persons except myself
will notbe recognized.
GEORGE C. WEDDERBCRN
Secretary and Treasurer.
Harrisonburg Register please copy;
Feb. 23-tf
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
ITO THE VEST
TO TIE WESTi

gone, 1t would De well to consider what has
been done to make the journey to your Homes
in the West as pleas ant and as free from dan
ger as human skill and foresight can accom-
pllsh. 1l-- IL AS ae
By consolidation and construction a road has
been put into operation ON the shortest posi-
BILE line from Mas hville, Tenn, to st. Louis
,'the future great City of the world" This
line, the go -tsHr aGl &
ST. LOUIS g. SOUTHEASTERN RAILWAY
has, during the past year, earned an en- viable
repu tation by itssmooth track, prompt time,
sure connections, and the magnifcence of its
passenger equi pment. its trains made up
of new and commo dious day cars, provided
with the celebrated Miller coupler and platform
and the W eslinghouse air-brake.
tits positively the only line running Pull
man Palace Drawing Room Sleeping Cars
through without change from Nashville to st:
Louis. No other line fretends to offer such
advantages, either In distance, time, or equip
ment. Why, fhen,, journey by circuitousroutes
Do not be Induced to purchase tickets to st.
Louis or the West by any other line, remember
ing that aa.g i19-
The s'St. Louis & Southeastern" -
is the shortest, cheapest, quickest, best and only
line under one management from Nashville to
St. Louis, and is from 60 to 200 miles the short
| est to St Louis Kansas City, Omaha, Denver,
| California, Texas, and all western points. 1t
is also the 'Chicago Shortest Line, via
Evansville.
You can secure tie cheapest rates for you, :
selves and your movables ON application, in
person or BY letter, to Charle McCabe, South
| ern Passenger Agent near College street Depot
Nashville, Tenn, or to the undersigned.
,.- B. B. DAVENPORT, S,
| Gen. Ticket Agent, st. Louis.
No trouble to answer questions.
| mty >Lh ssi-oilI0.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
w hat Have They

We have Cloths, Fancy Cassimeres, Linens:
Alpacas, French Lawns, Japanese Silks. and
Stripes. Percals, Piques, 81 ghams, Calicoes.
1914 Sheeting and fine bleached and unbeached
Jottons, Hats, Shoes, Queensw are, Notions,
and every thing needed at the cheap Store o
HAAS 6 BRO.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

TRUIT JARS just received and for sale by
HAAS Il BRO.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
cRoQUET. AT 1925 IS, Sc, $3.50 and $40

IS Prices on all goods figured down
for the good ofall the people.
Light weight goods and Real Hair mall
ed, postage paid. to any address in the
United States. The money must accom-
pany the order. Correspondence promptly
answered.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
FROM HON. JOIN WETHERT

y
n 49, At the Recommendation of friend was
bradley paint to house. heve pleasure in stating lbs
factory covering surface than promised is MOI
'' FA' al" 10 IL Ger from dsagreeaple odor Yours
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

1t affords me much pleasure to stat,
inside and out with +" Bradley's Patent
Lombard street, it agent, to testify to
uses. In no private dwelling can p ain
goes at his establish ment, W here, du
applied to, it and yeti appears as SCUM
vantages it possesses over other p aints
in quantities to suit purchasers ]; it's gu
execution of work where paint is nee
beauty and durability of the objects on
it to the merchants and trade fmen of o,
than they can possibly anticipate.
Baltimore, April %, 1872.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

Paint
PN'
a..s ua. p,. Yours rnly, DANIEL NJ: HINGroN
COMPANY O
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11
DEAR SIR: 1t affords m

c. P. KNIGHT, EsQ.-DEAR SIR;
-.l..... have had the
Il purchased from used inside and outside both at nv
gives me great pleasure to be able say that comes flu
facility OF USE economy, durability and beauty Yours
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-09-11

COUNTY, Va
asorded
constant work one gaa9 9aeh Tw
mat tor Enamel like
any county, lad can apply In tbs
PIE OF mter Sdr
proper,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-06-26

the coast of Martinique. The persons
who saw It gave n, precise description
of it before a notary. They affirm that
they saw it wipe its hands over its face,
and even heard it blow its nose.
Some naturalists have pointed out
characteristics in marine animals which
afford a very probable groundwork for
many of the current mermaid-stories.
Witness Sir J. E. Tennent's account of
the dugong tsThe rude approach to
the humane outline, observed in the
shape of the head of the creature, and
the attitude Of the mother while suck
ling her young, holding it to her breast
with one hipper, while swimming with
the other, holding the heads of both
above wafer and, when disturbed, sud-
denly diving and displaying her fish
like tail, these, together with her habit
ual demonstrations of strong maternal
affection, probably gave rise to the fable
of the mermaid" Woman or fish,
normal or abnormal, the mermaid has
taken good hold of poets and COM
posers, interlude writer's and farce
writer's and the mermaid IN Fleet
Street was one of the famous old taverns
of past days. The orthodox mermaid
has Of course, a comely maiden's face,
with beautiful hair, which she is comb
ing with one hand, while IL the other
she holds a looking-glass.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-06-26
The Girl of the Period.

Sauntering before one down Broadway,
is one panorama of awful surprises
from top to toe. Her clothes charac-
terize her. She never charHcterizes her
clothes. She is upholstered, not orna-
mented. She is bundled, not draped.
She is puckered, not folded. She
struts she does not sweep. She has
not one of the attributes of nature nor
of art. She neither soothes the eye
like a flower, nor pleases it like a pic
ture. She wearies it like a kaleid0-
scope. Surely, it is one of the requi-
sites of tasteful garb that the express
sion of effort to please shall be wanting
in it that the mysteries OF the toilet
shall not be suggested by 1t that the
steps to its completion shall be knocked
away like the sculptor's ladder from the
statue, and the mental force expended
upon it be swept out of sight like the
chips on the studio floor. Who that is
mathematically or metaphysically In
elined can meet a modishly-attired wo-
man without a calculation of the hours
expended upon the architecture of her
dress, without guess at the stitches in
a hem, at the hens 10 frill, at the
frill to a skirt, at the skirts TO a dress /;
without dissecting the organization OF
choly; without morbid wonder If she
wore her front friz to breakfast in
her crimping pins Any meterial
object, says Ruskin, " which can give
us pleasure IN the simple contemplation
of It's outward qualities, without any
direct and definite exertion of the in
tellect, call in some way or some de-
gree beautiful. II is painful TO con-
slider the " exertion Of intellect ex-
pended upon the contemplation of the
modern belle. An exhaustive analysis
of the law of exclnded middle, an in
telligent defense of the categorical i'm
perative, a serious attack Of the theory
of evolution might justify it. If " ex-
ertion of intellect stands censor on
the beauty of our costume, heaven
save the mark ] conceive that il is
use and use alone which leads one OF rs,
tolerably trained to recognize any cri-
terion Of grace or any sense Of the fit
ness only, the styles OF dress to which
We are more or less conforming every
day Of our lives. Fifty years hence
they viii seem to rs as uncultivated as
the nose-ring Of the hottentOt seem,
to-day. The dictum of our great
grandchildren upon, for instance, what
has been termed the Kangaroo style
Of dress viii further contain new and
severer elements of criticism than any
which go r. form our Judgment upon
fashions which repel Us only because
they are out of date.--diss Phelps.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-06-26
Art in Prehistoric Times.

To Egypt no longer pertains the gIo-
of having been the originator of the
arts. 1t was with profound astonish-
ment that the world learned some years
since that, long, long before the artists
of Egypt, the men of the age of the
reindeer had cultivated design, engrav-
ng, and even sculpture. At first their
works were greeted only with plaudits
of admiration but now, recovered as
we are from the first impression, we are
forced to admit that in those ancient
days, as in our own, there were not
wanting bad artists and yet, amid a
number of coarse designs, there are not
a few which arc truly worthy of note,
and which betray an able hand, and-an
eye trained to observe nature. Design
ing undoubtedly preceded sculpture
among the troglodytes. and their fig
ures in relief nre much fewer in number
and less perfect than their engraved
sketches. These latter figures gener-
ally form the ornamentation of the ba-
ton de commandment, or of the hafts of
doggers but sometimes they are found
on stone slabs, or on plates of ivory or
of reindeer horn, which would appear
to have been prepared simply to receive
the engravings. Nearly all the designs
represent objects in nature, though
some of them are simply ornamental
lines, zigzags, curves, etc. Three small
banursines, engraved on a piece of rein
deer-horn, would appear to represent a
polypetal flower but all the other fig
ures represent animals. The reindeer
occurs most frequently, the OK and the
aurochs being more rare. These vari-
ous animals are readily distinguishable
in the engraved figures, their resPec-
tive gait and motion being oftentimes
reproduced with considerable exact
ness and elegance. Sometimes they
are isolated, being represented without
any order, over the entire surface oi
| some instrument but, again, they are
found grouped together, engaged IN
combat, etc. The engraving of the
mammoth was found in 1864 in the cave
of La Madelaine. The head Of the ami
nal is given with remarkable exacti-
tude. The marquis de Vibraye has
since discovered a baton de command
ment. with a mammoths head sculp-
tured on it. These two pieces are the
only ones representing the mammoth,
which have come down to our time
from the hands of the troglodytic artists,
but they suffice to show that the animal
was not yet extinct.-Pop,itar Science
Monthly.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-06-26
The Turning Points of I.ifs.

What we call 60 turning point is
simply an occasion which sums up and
brings to result previous training.
Accidental circumstances are nothing
except to men who have beer, trained to
take advantage of them. Erskine made
himself famous when the chance came
to him of making a great forensic dis
play; but unless he had trained him
self for the chance, the chance would
only have made him ridiculous. There
is the story told of some gentleman,
who, on battlefield, happend to bow
with much grace to some officer VIII ad-
dressed him, q cannon-ban Just went
through his hair, and took off the head
of one behind him. The officer, when
he saw the marvellous escape, Justly
observed that no man ever lost by po-
hteness. There is a man in Berk-
shire, England, who has park with
walled frontage of seven miles, and he
tells of a beautiful little operation which
made nice Istle addition to his for
tune. He was in Australia when the
first discoveries of gold were made.
The miners brought in there nuggets,
End took them to the local banks. The
bankers were a little nervous about the
business, uncertain about the quality of
the gold, and waited to see its character
established. This man had taste for
natural sciences and knew something
about metallugy. He tried each test,
solid and fluid, satisfied himself of the
quality of the gold, and then, with all
the money he had or could borrow, he
bought as much gold as might be, and
showed profit of a hundred thousand
pounds in the course of day or two.
His "luck" was observation and knowl-
edge, and happy tact in applying them.
The late JOsephy Hume went out to
India, and while he was still young man
he accumulated considerable fortune
He applied himself to the hard work of
mastering the native languages, and
turned the knowledge to most profitable
account. On one occasion, when all
the gunpowder had failed the British
army, he succeeded in scraping to-
gether large amount of the necessary
materials, and manufactured it for the
troops. When he returned to England
he canvassed with so much ability and
earnestness for seat in the East India
directorate, that he might carry out his
scheme of reform, that, though he failed
to get the vote of a certain large propri-
etor of stock, he won his daughters
heart, and made a prosperous marriage.
And marriage is, after all, the Quickest
bit of luck, when it is all it should be.
There is, then, in life, moments, critical
moments, that are worth more than
years !; nevertheless a great occasion is
only worth to a man what his antece-
dents have enabled him of it, and our
business in life is to prepare for these
supreme moments, these hours when
life depends on the decision of the in
slant. Whatever of truth is yelled
under thepopular idea ofluck and chance
is, rightly consldred, an incentive to the
busiest industry, not an excuse for
folded hands and idle dreams.- Fred
eTicE arnold.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-06-26
New Married Men.

just married, destined to linger in
clover, new-mown hay, and such her
bage, from nine to twelve months, as the
case may be. Then some black, ras-
cally, stormy night you are turned out
in the street and ponds and miu-races,
or amid snow two feet deep, and drift
ing like blazes, and told to run for a
doctor. When you get home again,
eight chances to ten little red flannel
looking thing, about the size of a
peachblow potato, awaits you. They
call it a baby, and packed up with it
you viii find the first real squalls of
married life, you can bet on that.
One of these nights you will turn out
again. Barefoot, an icy, disconsolate
sense of dampness all about you, only
a cotton shirt or such matter between
you and the distressing openness Of a
cane-seat chair, you viii distractedly
rock that baby back and forth, and bob
it up and down, singing, meanwhile,
with a voice like hyena in jungle,
''This thing is played ont, Susan, -
e" RocBaby baby" or some such meIo-
dy, and all the time that baby yeIls,
o doesn't he howl while Susan Ann,
up to her nose under the warm bed
cover, to help out, every now and then
impatiently puts in, just at the wrong
place, ''WhY don't you trot him faster,
Samuel % ~
And you trot him, yes, you do trot
him If You could only trot his wind
out 10 that he could never get it back
again, or break his back, or neck, or
something, you would be immeasurea-
bly, happy. But no ; the little inno-
cent seems tougher than anindia rubber
car-spring. just as you conclude to
have a funeral in the house in less than
six months, thinking you will freeze,
the baby viii, from sheer exhaustion,
fall asleep, and then, with teeth chat
tering like Dr. Reid's back vertebra,
you crawl in by Susan Ann and try to
dose again when, finally, Susan's dull
Get tones awaken you with the question,
Samuel, should like to know if you
ever hear this child cry?" and that she
wants you to bounce out of bed and
get that paragoric, quick as possible.
Probably you give a sort of grunt, and
quietly fly back to the land of dreams.
Just think, you have this same per-
formanee to go through nightly for
some three years. It's really jolly fun,
amt it.