Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1873-06-26
Adventures of a Danbury Man

A Danbury man started for Green
wich, Friday, to see an iron fence. What
be wanted to see an iron fence for, We
do not know and it really makes no diff
ference. He wanted to go Oh on the
$50 train, so he hurried to get ready
His wife and vicious outside woman
were cleaning house, and 1t was some
little time before he could get his socie-
ty suit ready. In the meantime he
opened fire on the largest half of Gus
tard pie, holding it in his hand yelling
for his things. When she brought his
overcoat he set the pie in chair to put
on his coat, but in his nervousness
stepped on the end Of q long handled
whitewashi brush which was balanced
across a pail, and the other end hew up
and discharged about pint of the aw-
full mixture over the sofa, wall paper
and his paintings and indignant wife.
She made remark and he contradicted
| ID. He sat down in the chair where the
pie was, and got up again with howl
that would have melted the stoutest
heart. She wanted him to wait till she
scraped off the surplus, but he was too
mad to converse in words Of more than
one syllable, and started for the depot,
and boarded the train, and in the seclu-
sion of the baggage car removed the
offensive lunch. He got to Greenwich
an right and looked at the fence. We
hope he admired it. Then he started
for home, but missed the train, and as
the next train was an express and did
not stop at Greenwich, he was obliged
to walk to the drawbridge at Cos Cob
or stay in Greenwich all night So he
walked up there in the rain, but he did
not mind it much as he had an umbrel-
Ia, and the pie was pretty well dried in.
When he got to Cos Cob he stood upon
a fence to look at the scenery ,andswear,
when q gust Of wind took off his hat
and carried it across a bog lot. He
stepped down on the other side too
amazed to express himself, and another
gust of wind came along and turned
the umbrella inside out. A brisk con-
versation here ensued between him and
the umbrella, and he again started for
the hat. When he got up to it he kicked
it around several times, and then jam
med it down on his head and started
once more through the bogs as the train
drew up to the bridge. 1t was ter
rible struggle, As the bogs were uncer-
tain, but he strained, and eoughed, and
swore, and it did seem as If he would
catch it after all. What he thought as
stood there watching the train sail
across the bridge no human being can
tell. An hour later he appeared at
Stamford, wet through to the skin,
splashed with mud, and with an ex-
preston on his face that would have
stared hydrant. Backing himself up
against the depot he stood there until
near midnight, and then went upon the
owl train to Norfolk, falling asleep in
the meantime, arriving at home just be-
fore daylight. His wife was abed, but
not sleeping. She lay there torn by
forebodings and harrassed by suspense.
Perhaps he was dead, and lying on the
cold ground in the rain. Then she
thought of his lifeless body, and groan-
ed, and thought Of the pie and groaned
again. She knew his knock the min
ute it sounded, and rushing down stairs
in the costume appropriate to that hour
she threw herself into his hair and hys-
teriealiy shouted, 40, You old rascal,
come in here."-Dan6ary Nescs.