Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1873-07-17
NUMBER IA.
NAsBY

The COfners Il acited-A Grand Joy and
a bitter --she Dupl,e-
lty Of EsaseSsn.
From the Toledo 20. y Blade, june Is.
CoNFEDERATE X RoADs.l
| Wich is In the State of Kentucky
Joon %, 1873. J
| There wtlz soopreme joy at the Cor.
ners. There wuz, yesterday, quiet
peaceia reigin here, sich az is only
vouchsafed tn ia small porshun NV man
kind
| We did at times find fault with Geo.
Bascom; we did at times say of Geo.
w. Bascom that he wuz heartless
monopoly that he wuz railroad cor
poration, that he. wuza leech on the
body corprit, that he wuz an oppress-
or and grinder. When George w.
BascOm ref0osed to allow ANYBODY
else to sell whiskey at the Corners, we
complained, for we saw In it a deter
minashen to keep us his bond serv-
ance forever.
But yesterday we thought we were
mistaken. 1t is not the first time the
world hez mistaken its man. When I
am dead and moldered away in the
silent toom, possibly now generous
world will do pennance for calling me
q "pimple- faced sucker" wich they
now DOLBY erectin monuments and sich.
| bide my time.
| George w Bascom mite nv got hiz
reeognishen, however, whiled he lived.
YESTERDAY THE NOoxE FLEW FROM
ONE TO THE ANOTHER THAT GEoRaE
WASHINGTON BAsCoM HE'D REDoosED
THE PRICE wv wHIsKEY TO FIyE,CENrs.
He did this NV hiz own accord.
| There wuz no pressure brought to bear
unto him--there wnz no solissitashun
on our part-no one knowed anything
about it till it wuz done.
Mr.. Bascom last Thursday called a
meetin nv the citizens in front NV his
| grocery. called EN- to order, when
George w. stepped to the front, and
sed, with on impressiveness ] never
saw ekailed, sed he he'd made up hiz
mind to do suthin for his native vii
lage-suthin practikle. He he'd lived
among us for years he knowed he he'd
sold likker to two generashuns, and he
felt he ought to do suthin for us.
"Heis agoin to endow o skool,"
whispered Issaker Gavitt to me.
aBah.r ta
He now wood announce that from
that day forred, Whiskey at his bar
wood be five cents . glass. aet 'A.
"What I" shrieked Issaker, hiz face
beamin with delight. "What! Whis-
ky gve cents Thank heaven that I hev
lived to see this day!s
Ez soon ez the excited populis re-
covered from the surprise that follered
this announcement they organized
themselves into q meetin, and passed
resolooshens acknowledge their ap-
preciashen NV this unexpected con-
ceshn. M ~
Ioffered EN-, and they run as fol-
lows:
Wereas, Our fellow townsman G. W.
Bascom, hez in hin own hands the sup
plyin NV the one artikle nv prime me-
cessity to the people of the corners and
Wareds, G. w. Bascom Good keep
the price thereof at 10 cents, or II he
chose, Good raise it to Is or even 20,
and s,
Wareas, G.. w. Bascom hez, nv his
own accoyd, without solissitashun, no.
bly, retioosed the price 10 five cents,
therefore be it .
Resolved, That G. w. Bascom is en-
titled to the heartfelt thanks NV the cit
liens NV the Corners.
Resolred, That we insist that George
| Washington BascOm drop his last name,
and be known hencelorth as GEORGE
| WASHINGTON, for while the first George
| Washington wuz the father NV his peo.
pie, the second is their preserver.
Res0iUed, That while the first Il. w.
wuz first in the hearts NV his country
men, the second is first in their stum-
icks, which is wat the Corners take
| the most stock in.
Resolued, That George Washington
| Bascom is entitled to the undying
gratitood nv the Corners, and that his
name is gilded with imperishable lus-
ter. tat
This askshen NV Bascom changed
my purpose. I sed 81 shel never leave
the Corners. With likker at five cents,
kin live cheaper here than anywhere
else in this world. know NV no spot
wich combine 80 MANY delikies. The
climate is so mild that few clothes is
required, we need shoes only three
| months in the year, onless we are
blOated aristOcrats, and wear em for
he sake NV vain display, and overcoats
Is never nessary. Itgets little chilly
in December, January aud February,
but instid Of wastin our money on
overcoats we take more likker, and get
warmth in that way. Whisky takes
the place of overcoats and undershirts.
An Overcoat wood cost me $50, which
at five cents per drink wood buy me
| LOCO drinks. Take ten day and thus
$50 would suffice for 100 days, which
is quite enun to carry me over the cold
season in comfort, besides the ecstacy
NV drinking the likker."
Here then, sed /, I shel remain
Whisky, 5 cents! shel only owe Bas.
com half ez much when die, ez wood
under the old arrangement, wich will
be great comfort to him. At 10 cents
I wuz runnin up terrible account.
felt there wuz some good In mar
after all--humanity il not altogether
selfish. The world hez had benefac.
tors. Howard, Peabody, Bascom! wa'
. galaxyl
| But our joy wuz short. Wewuz rit,
1t our final estlIIiate NV q. w. BascOm
He is neither Howard or . Peabody
lie is deceiver-a raiser Nv hopes
wich, like Dead Sea Apples, turn t,
ashes ON the lip. The Corners wuz
the next day, in a-state Nv excitement
sich as 1t hez never experienced before
never saw mems passions so excited
before, and never want to agin.
II Yesterday Bascom announst his in
tenshnn NV redoosin the price nv lik
ker to five cents, and we wood he
, voted him a statoo, wich, ez statoos !
, never built, is perhaps the cheapes
gratitood an appreciative country XII
Indulge In. This mornin we gail
, tripped into his place for our matooti
! nal appetizers, and, or ia the custom
T ranged ourselves afore the bar. Bas
, com stood behind it ez stern ez Ro
man Senator, and ez iniexible ez ba
, | NV railroad iron,
"Set it ont, my noble Greek" sed
''put out the pizen. Anybody kin al
! ford to take suthip for five cents"
/ Bascom did not set it out. On tn
! contrary, he raised his right hand, an
pinted impressively to placard vic
{ he he'd put over his bar, wich read a