davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09

| PALACE STOCK CARs.-The pleasure of
travelling in palace cars is not to be confined to
the human race. A Palace Stock Car Company
is organizing for the purpose of affording the
maximum of comfort to beef cattle on their way
to market. The cars are intended to be run
without change from Denison the great ship
ping depot for Texas cattle, to New York and
other eastern cities. The animals can be fed
and watered while en- route. They 'can sleep
comfortably, and will arrive at their destination
in good condition.
BRIGHAM YoUNGs Son ARREsTED.-The
Aha Californian of the 29th says: last
evening William N. Young, son of Brigham
Young, was arrested on the charge Of drunken
ness and misdemeanor. While in duress he
stated that he was the son of Mother Mary,
and that he and the old man run the Territory
On depositing $40 he was released, and re-
quested that the court meet at ten o'clock this
morning, instead of nine, as that would be an
accommodation to him."
A young lady at Montgomery, New York,
has committed suicide because she was too
poor to live like lady and too proud to "do
housework. Well, it is sad that human
nature should be so weak, but the young lady
did perhaps the most sensible thing possible
under the circumstances. There is no Occa-
sion for any one so afflicted to stay in this
world.
The "No. Railroad Track. Scale" manu-
factured by the Fairbanks Company, has a
platform nine rods long and capacity to weigh
| $50 tons! Last year the company turned out
2lS of this variety Of weighing machine.
An East Tennessee paper notices the third
marriage, on the 10th ult., of MIR Samuel
| H. Milburn. He married all these wives
within year, and number two had been dead
only twenty nine days when he took number
three.
Rev. Mrs. Van Cott has so many calls to
preach that she always says No whenever
she sees man with white neckcloth ap-
preaching her.
A practical English chemist has discovered
another process for extracting fuel, from water
and it is expected that he will set the Thames
on fire.
Women are to be employed as clerks in the
various departments of the State Government
OF Pennsylvania, so says Governor Hartranit
Women preachers are increasing rapidly
Ten new names have been added to the lis
within the last six months.
A Washington belle speaks five differen
laguages, but cannot bake q loaf of bread I
save her life.
: Women are gradually working into all tn
school offices throughout the country.
WILD CHERRY BALsAn.-The memory OF D.
Wistar is embalmed IN the hearts of thousands whOI
his Balsam OF Wild Cherry has cured of cough
colds. consumption, or some other form Of pulmOnar
disease. II is forty years since this prepar
ton brought before the public, and yet the d,
mand for il IS constantly increasing.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09

The CHESS PLAYER.-Ten or fifteen years
ago Paul Morpby had won the honor of being
the best chess-player in the world-a perfect
master of the game. Not only in our own
country did his skill challenge universal admi-
ration, but in England and France unbounded
praise was accorded to him. Modest in de.
meanor, he received all honors bestowed upon
him with unassuming courtesy. One of his
most wonderful feats was that of playing eight
games at the same table while blindfolded
Tins was performed at the Cafe de la Regence
m Paris, whittier noted men were drawn from
all parts Of the Continent to witness his mar
velOus performances. But Paul Morphy re
turned from his triumphal tour wearied ant
alsgusted with chess, and he has since stead
lastly refused to make q public exhibition o
his wonderful powers.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09
DEATHS.

COTTON-In this town. the I'd inst, Lule h. infant
daughter Of Jas. II. and Lydia A. Cotton aged months.
ELIASON-In ChestertOwn, Md the 4h instant. John
Eason second Of Thomas W. EasOn, 9Ith year
OF his age
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09

Scribner's Monthly, for April, is fully up to
the standard Of that excellent publication.
The Illustrations accompany articles on the
:, Treasury Department at Washington !"
: Moscow and Southern Russia !" Clara
Louise Kellogg" Ancient American Civili-
1IstiOn; and poem called ''The Cruel Lord. y
Author Bonnicastle,'' DIR. Hollands new
novel, does not abate in interest. The reader
WI find the other tales. sketches, essays,
poems. &c, things over which the mind will
New York.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09

:, The act of December "a, 1872, abolishing
!he othces of assessor and assistant assessor OF
iotsrnal revenue provides that it shall 90 into
effect on or before the lst of July next. The
Commissioner of Internal Revenue has selected
nay 10th as the most convenient date for
putting 1t into operation, and on that day about
dispensed with.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09
Bricklayin~ and Plastering

The undersigned respectfully informs his friends Of
smyrna and vicinity that he Is prepared 10 execute
ali kinds of work ia the above business in work
manlIke manner. Contracts takea. aad all kinds OF
mater lai furnished, if desired.
CHAS II. HENDERSON,
Residence, Delaware ST.. first door ab. Commerce g.
REFFRErSE;
Edward Beck John A. Cavender.
E.V. Cooper. fea2 CIV. g. $. .Taylsr.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09
ELECTIoN.

The Stockholders OF this Institute are hereby
notified that election for Nine Directors TO serve
the ensuing year will be held al their Banking House
in smyrna. on THURSDAY. the LIST Of NAY next,
between the hours Of and S o'clock. p M
BY order, w. NJ. BELL,
Cashier.
Bank OF Smyrna, April Sd, 1873.
Smyrna times., 1873-04-09
THE MARKETS
M MARRIAGES.

the lst. at the residence OF
John P Collins. Esq. BY Rev c. W. Pretymsn MIR. William
Richards and Miss Rebecca Gardiner both ThOroughare
Neck.
HOFFECKER-PEOPLES-In Wilmington, the Sd inst
by the Rev. II. McKOwn, Joseph 6. oecker Sidney G.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

and small pearl memorandum case OF
which were the following memorandums
in pencil: "Union street and Delaware
avenue - Lombard :" "Ashboner; ,
''Coopersburg, left side )" "Whoever told
you so must not have been very well in
formed" There was Philadelphia pa
per in his pocket, but there were no let
ters nor dates by which his name could be
identified. He is evidently from Phil
adelphia aud came up on the North Penn
Road aud the memorandum Indicate that
Coopersburg attracted his profession at
tention. He was a professional burglar
and too prudent to have any records about
his person by which he could be iden:i-
fed, or others implicated. in case of his
capture The body was found to contain
bullett wound in the feshy part of the
hip, running directly inward, which
proves that one of the shots took effect,
probably the last, as he was seen to stag
ger just as he reached the shore of the
river; and Hackett states that he also
noticed him stasger when he fired the
last shot at him as lie jumped the fence
at Prof Cattell's
Deputy Coroner Stotzcr impanelled the
following jury: Herman Snyder, fore
man, Jacob Jonson, Robert Burrell
Charles Solomon, John Haggcrty and
James ID. Hackett, who, in accordance
with the above facts rendered verdict
THAT the deceased was an unknown man;
that he had BEEN concerned in the Col
lege Hill robbery of last Thursday morn
ing, and that he come to his death from
wounds received from the policemen in
their attempts to capture him, and from
drowning in the Delaware by attempting
to escape in that way"
The napkin ring was taken from Frank
Michler, and is the property of his daugh-
ter.
We cannot but admire the desperate
bravery of this man who chose death
rather than capture and exposure, but
we should have preferred his arrest and
punishment in the regular way.
His tragic end, however, will not en-
courage his kind to select our town for
future operations, or excite their desire
to encounter our vigilant police.
The deceased was a man 5 feet in
ches in height, aud weighed about les
pounds.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
Where Coal is Found in Pennsylvania

VI the sixty six counties in Pennsyl
vania, the following twenty. FIVE contain
no coal whatever, viz: Philadelph
Delaware, Chester, Montgomery, Bucks
Northampton, Lehigh, Berks. Lebanon
Lancaster, York, Adams, Franklin, Cum
berland, Mitflin, Juniata, Perry. Snyder,
CONTOUR, Monroe, Pike, Wayne, Susoue
hann and Erie. They are all situated in
the southeastern part of the State, except
Erie, which is in the northwestern cor.
ner. The Anthracite coal Of Peunsyl.
vania is situated principally in the four
counties of Dauphin, Schuykill, Carbon
and Luzerne ; with smaller quantities, the
borders Of the basins in Northumberland
and Columbia counties, and there is semi
anthracite coal in Sullivan aud little in
Wyoming county.
Six counties contain detached fields OF
semi bituminous coal, Bradford, LycOm
ing, Tioga, Huntington, Bedford and Ful
ton. The following twenty seven coun
ties in the western and north western part
of the State contain bituminous coal a
portion of which along the eastern margin
of the field is semi bituminous, viz
Somerset, Fayette, Greene, Washington,
Westmorelaud, Cambria, Indiana, Arm,
strong, Allegheny, Beaver, Lawrence,
Butler, Clarion, Jefferson, CIearfeld,
Blair, Centre Clinton, Cameron, Elk
Forest, Venango, Mercer, Crawford, War
ren, Mexican, and Potter, or in all forty
one coal producing counties. OF SO vast
coal region with very Intricate struc.
ture, only general account can be given.
Its total area is l2,222 square miles, be-
sides 80 miles in Broad Top, aud 472 in
the anthracite fields, making total of
42.T44 square miles of coal of all kinds
in PENNSYLVANIA.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
A Doctors Diary.

A pocket diary has been picked up on
the street. aud is now in the finders pos
session, awaiting its owner. From the
following extracts, it appears the loser
was a medical man:
"Kase 23O, Maty An Perdins, Bisnes,
washerwoman. Sickness in her he'd
Fisk sum blu pills, soaperifck age 81
Ped me one dollar. kuarter bogus
Mind get good kuarter and max her tax
mo 6sick.
"Kase 231. Tummes Kinks, Bisnes,
Nirishman. Lives with Paddy Malouny
what keeps dray-sicknes, digg in ribs
and tow black eyes. Fisk to drink my
mixture twict day, of sasiperily bere
and jellup, and fish lie, with asiledity to
make it taste fisiky. RUBBED his face with
kart grese linimeut, aged 90 years of age
Drinked the mixter and woodnt pa me
bekaws it tasted nasty, but the mixter'll
work his inuards, | reckon
Kase 232, Old Misses Boggs. Aint
got no bisness, but plenty ov money
Sickness awl humbug. Cav her sum
ov my celebrated 'Dispseforkon,' wich
she sed drank like cold tea-wich it was
200. Must put something in to make her
feel sick and bad. The Old Woman has
got the roks."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
PRESIDENT LINCOLN.
Eulogy from MIR. Boutwell,.

In bis brief address at Groton, Mass,
on Decoration Day, Hon. George S. Bout
we'll said :-"Our gratitude, however, is
not due to the army alone. Many in the
civil service performed great deeds, aud
gave their lives to the nation. Lincoln
aud Stanton are among those who died
for the country, and it is not easy to name
any who performed more or better work
Stanton's lators never ceased. He de-
MED himself time for rest and food. He
was familiar with the vast theatre of mill
tary operations, and he anticipated the
wants of the army in supplies aud rein
forcements. If he did not organize vic.
tory, he furnished the means of victory,
aud this, venture to say, is all that ever
has been done or ever can be done by any
except the commander on the field. Re
jecting the language of eulogy, we may pro
perly say that he was the ablest war min
lister of historical times, and that he was
second only to Mr. Lincoln among civil
nation. IF We limit our observation to
men trained and serving in civil life ex-
clusively, Mr. Lincoln appears to be the
first parsonage in American history. In
powers of reasoning he rivalled Webster,
and he was endowed with a subtle wit
and laughter moving irony to which Web
ster had no claim. He was formidable
in debate, and wrote and spoke some of the
best sentences in the English language
His speech at Gettysburg was not an ac-
cident nor temporary inspiration. a
similar power was manifested in his de
bate with Douglass, aud his first inaugu
raj address contains paragraphs that rival
the choicest of the language. quote
one that is marked by the spirit of prop
hecy. and at the same time is the tender
est of the numerous appeals for the Union
with which our literature is filled =
The mystic chords of memory stretching
from every battle field and patriot grave
to every living heart and hearthstone, all
over the broad land, will yet swell the
chorus of the Union, when again touch
ed, as surely they will be, by the better
angels of our nature Admitting, assert
ing, rather, that his Cabinet was com
posed cf able men, it yet remains for me
to express the opinion that he excelled
all and every one OF them in each of the
essential qualities of statcsmauship He
was endowed with power OF foreseeing
-sagacity to anticipate future events
touching the public welfare. He had
firm faith in the peoplc-in their wisdom
justice and power. He possessed true
courage. He was never dismayed by
misfortuue-never overcome by disaster
He had practiced wisdom that he could
apply without delay to present questions
This, aud the quality | first mentioned
are tests of craftsmanship. without whlef
there can be DO eminence in the admins
tration of public affairs. 1t yet remains
for the world to learn that at one OF thu
two critical moments in our foreign at
fairs he corrected and chasteped mos
important diplomatic paper with his owl
hands, showing superior clearness
judgment and great subtlety of genius Il
matters outside of his training and expe
rience."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

They have great church privileges in
San Francsco-greatar, we fear, than
they improve. 1t is said that those who
are too lazy or too diffideut to enter any
one of the churches on Sunday may stand
anywhere within mile of his pulpit and
hear DIR. Cox expound the gospel to his
congregation, while in their Offices, one or
two blocks off, San Francisco editors can
peruse their exchanges and hear the Doc
tor preach at the same time, such a per-
feet Boanerges is this reverend gentle
man.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
NO. z.

Some years ago luminous lawyer with
considerable swell, but not much brains.
went to Doylestown, Penn, to locate"
Not long after when the post Office was
iull of people, awaiting the distribution
of the mail, half waited followed STEP
ped up to Green bag with the remark
"Mr. s., they tell me you HAYS
come here to practice law"
"Yes, sir, l have"
"Well, you'll 6ned it a first rate loca-
ton | hadn't been here four months be-
fore was sued ten times sp'
"Well," said S. sit seems to me that I
could live here for years without being
sued at all
you bet People around here are
pretty darned smart, tell you. You
don t ketch them suing a feller without
he good for the costs -
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

The n. Y. Times pitches into Mayor
Havemyer aud Gen. Hancock in this hap
py manner:
The Mayors recently developed fond
ness for nominees of questionable charac.
ter is being pandered to by people who
ought to know better. We are informed
that one person who is now under indict-
ment for presenting false pay rolls to the
Government, was recommended to the
Mayor by Gen. Hancock. That this
nominee was also recommended by per-
son jointly indicted with him will hardly
serve to justify the undignifed and un.
necessary dabIing in local politics by the
General in command Of the Departments
of the East.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
hR. N. L.. PECK,
II Surgeon Dentist.

Announces that having JUS, returned from
Dental ColIegs, he is fully prepared TO make
artificial teeth in the most beautiful and liie-
like manner. and TO fill decayed teeth ac.
cordng TO the most improved method.
Teeth extracted wthpYt pain, when de-
sired, by the use of Nitrous Oxide Gas,
which is entirely harmless. Repairing oi
all kisds neatly done. All work warranted.
Charges reasonable.
Ofice in J. G KeIer's new Brick build
ing, Main Street, Stroudsburg, Pa.
aug 3l-lf
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

A priest the other day, who was exam
iniDg confirmation class in the south Of
Ireland, asked the question, "What is the
sacrament of matrimony?" A little girl
at the head Of the class answered "'Tis a
state of torment into which souls enter to
prepare them for another and a better
world" But" said the priest, "the
answer for purgatory." "Put her down."
says the curate, put her down to the fut
of the class "Lave her olone." said
the priest; "for anything you or l know
to the contrary, she may be perfectly
right"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

a mamma in the rural districts lately
gives her fve-y year-old hopeful an outfit of
fish tackle. Soon she heard shout from
Willie, and running out found one of her
best hens FAST winding up the line in her
crop, whether the hook had already pre-
ceeded it. Willie, observing the troubled
look of his mother, quietly remarked
'.Dou't worry, mother. guess she will
stop when she get to the pole"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

The romantic devotion of Shaun, who
sacrificed himself for Arrah, has been
initiated in real life by young girl in
London. To save her betrothed, the
actual culprit, she went into Court and
swore that she had stolen the diamond
pin of the abstraction of which be wa.
accused. This would be called true love
by the seniimentaist; but ah !how much
more noble and beautiful and unselish
was the conduct of the young Pbiadel
phia lady who sold her new bonnet the
other day that the man she loved might
purchase a ball ticket! That now, is
high minded devotion of which few, very
few women are capable
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

The India rubber hustle" is again
heard from. This time it was Brook
lyn young lady, who was thrown from her
carriage. She made ninety seven and
half bounces, in all, and was finally, res
cued, by hook and ladder company,
from the top of telegraph pole, where
she had stuck in attempting to complete
the ninety eighth bounce
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

A milk company in Chester county,
Penn, use II 500 quarts Of milk week
making 1000 pounds of butter aud 5000
pounds Of cheese. Ice cream is to be
made there at wholesale this Summer aud
shipped to Baltimore and Washington.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

Most smokers likes meerschaum pipes
so we'll that they would all like to have
them a little cheaper. Chemistry now
undertakes to supply this desideratum
and to make meeschaums ont of potatoes
''peeled' soaked for about SO hours in wa
ter, to which eight per cent of sulphuric
acid has been added, dried in hot sand
for several days on plates OF chalk or plas
ter of paris, and compressed at the same
time. They can then be carved, aud will
be an excellent imitation Of the meer.
schaum" !"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

A colored preacher in Georgia, in
trapslating the sentence. "The harvest
is over, the season is ended, and thy soil
is not saved" put it, DE corn has been
cribbed, der ain't any more work, and de
debbil is still fuoln' wild dis community"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

A New Orleans letter to the New York
Times states that new reform party is
being formed in Louisiana, composed OF
the best citizens, which will admit the
equality of all men without regard to race,
color, or previous condition, and accepts
all the United States constitutional amend
meuts aud Congressional laws relative
thereto
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

An Irishman in Bridgeport Conn, who
was told that his employers store was
burned down, exclaimed. "Well, can't
see how that can be, when | have the key
in my pockets" !"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

1t is little singular how much valuable
time man will take up in studying
post mark Of letter to see where it comes
from when he can open. the letter and
fnd out at once.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
Worth Preserving.

The Medical Home has the following
receipts which may be of value:
a tea made of chestnut leaves and
drank in place OF water, will cure the
most obstinate case of dropsy in few
days.
A tea made Of ripe or dried whortle-
berries and drank in place Of water, is a
sure and speedy cure for scrofulous diff
Guilty however bad.
a tea made of peach leaves is cure
for kidney difficulty.
A plaster made of fresh slacked lime
and fresh tar, is sure cure for a cancer,
which, with its roots, will soon come out
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

An Irishmau, when he applied for a
license to sell whisky, was asked by a
magistrate if he was of good moral char
acter. He replied, Faith ! don't see
the necessity of a good moral character
to sell whiskey.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

Some men 90 about the world with
their hands in their pockets That is bet
ter, though, than if they went about with
their hands in other peoples pockets
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
DR. EE. ). PATTERSON,
OPERATING AND MECHiNICAL DENTIST,

Having located in East Stroudsjurg, Pa an
nounces that he is now prepared TO insert arti-
fetal teeth in The most beautiful and life-like
manner. Also. great attention given to filling
and preserving the natural teeth. Teeth ex-
tracted without pain by use of Nitrous Oxide
Gas. al other work incident to the profession
done in the most skiIIfnl and approved style.
All work attended to promptly and warranted.
Charges reasonable. Patronage OF the public
solicited.
0ifce in 4. W. Loder'S new building OPP
posite Analomink House, East Stroudsburg,
Pa. July II, 1872-ly.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

Found out why people go to McCarty's to
get their furniture, because he buys it at the
Ware Rooms of Lee & Co. and sells it at
an advance of only twenty-tuo and t.eo-
ninth per cent. Or in other words, Rocking
Chairs that he buys of Lee & CO. Through
the runners he don't have) for 81, so he sells
for s., so. Pays him to buy some good Fur
a,ture. LEE & co.
Stroudsburg, Aug. le, lS70.-tf.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

In Detroit, recently, girl was found
dead kneeling at her bedside, in the at
titude of prayer
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

4 revivaist asked an African if he had
found the Lord. "Go!ly," said Sambo,
IAN dc Lord lost ?"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

A doctor sent in bill to widow that
ran thus: 40 curing husband till he
died"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26

President Grants mail is said TO foot
up about 700 daily letters.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1873-06-26
DR.. j. L A N T z,
Surgeon and Mechanical Dentist

SILL has hIS office GA Main Street in the second
story of DR.. $ Waton's brick building, ncatiV oppo-
site the StruUd>hurg House, aud he f.Ier> fIinSeif
that by eighteen years constant practice aud the most
earnest and careful altenl To all matters pertaining
90 profession. iat he is fully able pc form All
0per in the dental lac the C i;ssic-
cal dad Skililgi ts2&
Special atiesissa given 10 saving the Natura Teeth
also, TO tie 5nSerInn of Artificial rreIh Rubber,
@ I'D, SilgSr sE Continuous Gums and perfect fits IN
all cases InSgleG.
Most persons know iEe great folly aud danger OF en-
cruising tAeIr YORK to the erienced. those
living AT Il tsosSsce. Aprll l3, lS1l.-ly