The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-07-26

nluCeub NicW. Ou fcoCuluk ZIG tOp VI
rather a steep hill, you look down upon
the basin wherein lies the only great
watering place west Of the mountains
This valley is about six miles long BY
two or three broad. and a. verdant ss
Ireland herself. 1t is surrounded by
high mountain peaks, thickly wooded
with pine, oak aud maple. The hotel,
which is an old fashioned pile, between
four and fve hundred feet long, faces
the northwest and is in the centre OF
square formed by about eighty neat
cottages, each one with wide piszzs.
The architect who designed these
buildiuge must have been 9 man OF
classical taste, for everywhere he could
fiud room for q column he has put one.
One OF the most exciting smusements
which the place affords is to guess at
the number OF pillars In and about the
hotel, and then pass week in count
ing them. On a cool morning or moon
light nigpt every able-bodied man,
woman and child about the place may
be seen engaged in this intellectual oc-
cupation.
am Informed BY the knowing in
dividual" Of this locality (did you ever
90 to a watering place that you did not
Immediately make the acquaintance
OF lady OF about thirty, with short
curly hair and no hustle, who knew
everything and everybody p that twen-
ty-fve French cooks are employed in
the kitchen Now far be it from me to
cast doubt on this statement or the pro-
ficiency OF the Aforesaid culinary artists,
but the result OF their combined efforts
is "demnition bad" Every chop one
gets looks as if it had passed through
the hands OF each Peveral cook 10 be
broiled, basted, seasoned and tasted.
losing bulk and juice at every step OF
its pilgrimage. Yes, In spite Of the
twenty-five French cooks (some OF
them may be Counts or Barons) the
cuisine is bad, and one is forced to feed
with ones eyes on the magnificent
landscape and pretty women. Couss-
quently, as you may imagine, the indi.
Siduals with the most prominent optics
are the best Dourished.
The spring is about two hundred
yards from the hotel, and its health.
giving waters are just about as nasty as
any in our great country. doubt II
even the sewers OF old Paris could pro-
duce more nauseating beverage. The
Samaritans TO whom the establishment
belongs conduct the water to bath
house al q ehort distance from its
source, where they parboil old women
and then turn them loose on the lawn,
in waterproof cloaks and draggled hair,
smelling like 90 many mstch-venders
Old gentlemen, too, who have swallow.
ed their chests, take their baths with
unpleasant regularity. and ! would
counsel any OF my fellow townsmen
who may come here to observe this
rule: always keep TO the windward OF
stout people.
In spite OF it's odor, however, the
spring is quite god send, for hungry
people make use OF it, just as Mrs.
Squeers did OF her decoction OF treacle
aud birthstone at Dotheboys Hall-il
deprives one OF all desire for food and
enables one 10 live almost without est-
ing; indeed, in some cases its effects
are most remarkable. There is deli
cate, pale-iaced young man here, who,
after taking the waters regularly, for
some time, now lives entirely on chick
en-hazard. Ofcourse he wears large
diamond, and bears the title oi
"Msjab," which is Virginia rank,
corresponding, as nearly as can dis.
cover, with the Kentucky "Kernal."
The walls Of the cottage where this in
teresting young man lives are quite sat
urated with sui phuretted hydrogen. 1t
is probably on this account that his
residence is called a Hell" 1t is here
the young Msjahs assemble to drink
sulphur cocktails after the balls. and 1t
is from his doors they stagger at two
o'clock in the morning to stumble
through plowed fields, calling wildly
for hack. Alb, that these young m. q
only knew that they are already on the
Broadway that leads to destruction.
At q distance Of about halt q mile
from the springis q country inn, wnere
people soD etines give charming break
facts, and where the young Msjahs 30
TO sleep of the effects OF the intense
excitement which j. is impossible to
avoid at this hotel. The number OF
soda cocktails taken at this little inn
any bright mrnrning would make q
comfortable and refreshing bath for the
largest ha5ituc OF the ST. Joe. 1t 10
here, too. that literary people come for
intellectual food sometimes one may
see az many az two hundred OF this
high order of beings intently perusipg
John Robinson's show bills OF last year.
People OF artistic tastes and blushiDg
young maidens constantly Surround the
barn on the walls OF which is posted the
counterfeit prssentment Of Mr.. Robert
Stickney, graceful and unsdorped. This
portrait presents Mr.. s. 10 all his pris-
tine beauty, aud was probably taken
before bis little accident in Cincinnati.
Madame Ross, an angel who 10 max
ing short sojourn in this sublunary
sphere 10 order TO inform the visitors at
the Springs OF future events At $2 per
event, advertises herself most extensive
ly az having taken q cottage in "Pari-
dice row." Taking into consideration
the fact that Madame RS spirit goes
TO Heaven every time she takes Q nap,
it aatonisbes me thst she never noticed
how they spell the name o'the place on
the lamp posts.
The inevitable japanese Store IL 10
the immediate neigbborhood Of the in.
evitable "Blue Hole" "a spring 10 not Q
spring without q 'bottomless blue hole"
in its vicinity and from the mysterious