Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-04-10
Nasty LETTER.
MIR. Nasty Goes to Washington and from
Thence to North EastOn, the Home of
Cakes Ames--His Account of the BAN
quet i'm Honor of MIR. Ames.

-I-.- nldICu Ii, 1910. Be-
The Credit Mobilier biznis so excited
me that l coodent stay in the quiet and
| classic shades NV the Corners while it
WIZ goin on. Where the carrion is
there will the buzzards be also." In
the Credit Mobiler I smelt carrion-to
whom L allood to as buzzard it is not
necessary to specify. I went to Wash
ington.
The state NV things at the capital
surprised me. I sposed that I shood
find suthin tibet Good turn to account
in assistin in kiverin up this swindle,
the same ez / yoosed to do in the good
old days Nv Bookanan, but I wuz dis
appinted. The Republican members
refoosed any concealment, and insisted
on committees and SIGH. When the
plague was ragin in London the dead
carts wood draw up afore the houses
and the driver wood howl, "bring out
yer dead. When Credit Mobiler ragged
in Washington, the people yelled to
Congress-, bring out yer dead" He'd
it bin Democratic Congress, we wood
hev gone to the door and swore that we
he'd no dead, but not SO with the pres
ent one. Bring out yer dead!'' shouted
the people 'Here are the corpses p
sed Congress, cheerfully, and these wuz
then laid out on coolin boards and
ready to be sent home for burial.
1t wuz most unprecedented pro-
ceedin. In the old times eff Democrat,
devoted to Sunday Skools and tenn
prance, he'd bin innocently led by plot
tin skeemer to accept stock in a Credit
Mobiler, the skeemer carrying the stock
till the dividends shood pay for it, and
SO on, and charges he'd bin brot agin
him, wat wood hev happened? He
wood hev riz, and, pintin calmly to his
Sunday Skools and temperance, wood
hev Indignantly asked eff life devoted
to Sunday Skools and temperance wuz to
be blasted on the mere assertion Nv a
plottin skeemer who he'd not devoted
his life to Sunday Skools and tenn
prance? And the Democratic House
wood hev voted him clear and hev ex-
PEELED the accuser, and each member
wood hev tripped gaily to draw the divi-
dends on the stock wich he held.
L he'd curiosity to see how the con-
stitooents NV the great Ames wood re-
ceive him, and / he'd an opportoonity to
crafty that curiosity. Mr. Ames Sc
TESTED to me that I shood 60 and he
slipped suthin into my hand. | fell into
his trap the same ez the placid Cclfax
did, and sed 1 wood go.
''Ef my people insist OH givin me a
recepshun, sed he, "see to it that it is
spontaneous. hev a conservatory wich
it may be worth your while to see-ef
they want flowers to decorate the tables
but enuff. Speeches will be necessary.
and we must hev EN-, but see that VOC
select men who will do it spontaneously
Were l a hard man Good make it I'M
comfortable for the honest freemen in
North Easton who shood refoose to cheer
at the proper time, but. [ will say no
more. My family doctor makes a good
speech, and the school teacher is poet.
l have heard that he hez he'd an idea NV
writin a poem in which [ am to be
crowned with laurels, and the ages do
homage to me, and possibly he mite hev
done it to read at this resepshin-but Nv
course it amt for me to say. Ny factry
will turn out strong, NV course But &c
and visit North Easton."
I did SO. Mr.. Ames hez a factry al
North Easton wich makes shovels. The
physician doctors sick shovel makers
and insists on bringin into the world
embryo Shovel makers the storekeepel
sells goods to shovel makers the teacher
teaches young shovel makers the shoe
maker and the tailor labor for shove
makers the preacher breaches to shove
makers. Mr.. Ames is the boss shove
maker-he is the sun Nv this system. E
he he'd bustid in this Credit Mobiler
the factory wood hev bin closed, Nortl
Easton wood hev vanished into thin air
and few years hence all that the curou,
traveller wood find would be the las
shovel maker-a gray-haired man, sitti1
on the rooms Nv the biler-arch, staril
about in wild, vacant way
Mr.. Ames owns this shovel factory IL
North Easton, and North Easton bleeve
Mr.. Ames to be honest. They reiec
with intense scorn the idea that he eve
did anything wrong, or that he could d.
anything wrong. So the next day afte
my arrival, and after had Intervene,
! the leadin citizens, public recepshul
wuz rendered Mr.. Amues-a spontane
! GUS recepshun on the part Nv the people
} uvwhich Mr.. Ames wuz kept in profoun
ignorance, and I wuz requested to di
! rect it.
4 I seiested then that it be held in tn
3 skool house (Which Mr.. Ames had built
! and that the music be furnished by th
North Easton band (Which Mr.. Anne
equipped). 1t wuz deemed nessary t
give the proceedins a religious cast, so
] requested the pastor Nv the church whic
Mr.. Atnes attends to ask the blessin
: The family physician Nv the great an
> good Mr.. Ames wuz set down to presid
and propose his health, and the genera
Committee Nv Arrangements wuz mad
: up from the storekeepers vino do bushes
. in Mr. Ames' stores The clerks an
( bookkeepers in Mr.. Ames' factory wer
/ distributed along the tables at regla
. intervals to prodoose spontaneous ap
plause at SIGH times ez | shood indikate
Here the trouble set in. The tamil
: physician he'd relatives away from Mort
, Esston, and he didn't like to do it.
! "P :epare your speech p sed 1 per
r emptorily.
a "Must say" sed this wretched MAI
h pale with anxiety, "must I say that Nj
/ II, l.,