Delaware Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1843-1874, 1873-04-17


The Marshall tKy.)7imes proclaims itself
an 'honest newspaper" In another paragraph
1t says: "When young man profe sses homes
" now-a-days, keep your eye peeled for a
thief"
Ajudge at Waterloo, New York, les been
swearing witnesses on Patent Office Report,
surprising 1T to be Bible. lie said he noticed
that they swore powerful hard.
BADBIr, the soap-man, is constructing n
preposterous soap kettle, twenty-five feet
across and some forty feet deep. II would be
very venturesome pot that would venture 10
call that kettle black.
A Connecticut town boasts of n vonng man
so timid that he cannot look a needle in the
eye. Many young ladies' are troubled with
similar fears whenever they can get any one
else to do their sewing.
"Mike, will you come in and take drink9-
Mike looked at the man for the space of half n
minute, and then, rolling his eyes upward,
very softly said; 81 tot it was an angel spa
kin to me-"
Are you the mate of The ship" asked an
emigrant OF the cook, who was an Irishman.
mo, Sr,' was the reply, 81 am the man who
cooks the mate"
Women are like horses, the gayer the har-
ness they have on, the better they feel. We
got this from an old bachelor who was early
crossed in love.
Anerchange wanting TO compliment a sLiye
Stock Journal, "says It is edited by man whose
head is chuck full of live stock.
The gentleman so often spoken OF in novels,
who riveted people with his gaze, has obtained
employment in a boiler manutactory with extra
pay, on account of his peculiar faculty.
Why is cande-maker She worst and most
hopeless of men? Because all his wicked works
are brought to light.
country paper remarks that Ann Dante.
the composer of so many popular but rather
solemn pieces of music, is not Gdescendent the
poet bearing the same surname.
A Western paper says, "You might as well
attempt to shampoo an elephant with thin
bleful OF soap, as TO attempt to do business and
ignore advertising.
SHALL l have your hand?n said an exaui-
site TO belle, as the dance was about TO COM
menee "With all my heart, was the re-
sponse.
IHE difference between sealing wax and
woman, says Reuben, is thlt one burns to
Keep secret and the other 10 tell it. Sian
deri
ONE style of bonnet l. called the "Nansartl'
because 1t takes great deal of "man shard'
earnings to pay for one ofem. -...a 9al
women are ike horses the gayer the har-
ness they have on, the better they fell. We go,
this from an old bachelor who was early cross
ed in love.
We do not wait precepts as much as pattern;
an example Is the sottest and leasi inyidious
way of commanding.
lfa straw, saws Dryden, can be made fhe
instrument o. happiness, lie is a wise man who
does not dcspise it.
Guard well your friendships They worth
more to you than any conceivable fame.
We should judge men by their treatm ent of
others rather than their trestment of us.
The man who can be nothing but serious or
nothing but merry, is but half man. t7Jf
South Bend girls u 1stick to Colfax'' mot.
toes Oh their billet-doux.
Spiders always begin to cobble their broken
webs in the middle.
7 To dream Of having great number OF SER
wants is-madness.
Capt. Jacks favorite dltty-"Put me in Ill
lava led"