The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-03-15
MARK TWAIN'S ACCOUNT OF
"JIM SMILEY.'
As related By s.a.5" Wheeler, Esq, IF AngeF'
Camp, CaidlsJlS county, Cal, bring asked Jon
Information. CoacG1.inga Certain R,r. Leoniia,
w. Smith

There was Il fellow here once by the name
of jim Smiley, in the winter Of '49-or may
| be it was in the summer of SOL don't recOl
lect exactly; somehow, though, what makes
me think it was one or the other is because
the big tlumc wasn't finished when he came
to the camp: but, anyway, he was the curios
est man about always betting on anything
that turned up you ever see, if he could get
ANYBODY to bet on the other side; and If he
couldn't he'd change sides. Any way that
suited the other man would suit him--any
way, just so he'd got bet, he was satisfied
But still he was lucky, uncommon lucky; he
almost always came out winner. He was
always ready and waiting for u chance; there
couldn't be no solitary thing mentioned but
that ielere'd offer to bet on it, and take any
side you please, as | was just telling you. If
there was horse race you'd find him flush
or you'd find him busted at the end of it; if
there was dog fight he'd bet on it; if there
was Il chicken fight he bet on it; If there was
a cat fight he'd bet on it; why, if there was
two birds sitting on u fence he'd bet you
which one would ~ first or if there was a
camp mceting, he would be there regular, to
bet on Parson Walker, which he judged to be
the best exhorter about here-and so he was
too--and good man. II he ever saw strad-
! die bug start TO go anywhere, he would bet
you how long 1t would take it to get to where
| it was going TO, and if you took him up he
would follow that straddle.bug to Mexico but
what he found where about he WAS on the
road Lots of the boys here has seen that
Smiley, and can tell you all about him. Why,
il never made no difference to him--he would
bet on anything-the dangest Teller. Parson
Walkers wife laid very STICK once for awhile,
and 1t seemed as il they warn't going to
save her But one morning he came in, and
Smiley asked how she was and he said con.
siderably better--thank the Lord for his in
Unite mercy--and coming on SO smart that,
with the blessing of Providence, she'd get
well yet; and Smiley, before he thought, says,
]"Well, I'll risk two and half she don't any
way"
This yer Smiley had mare-the boys call.
ed her the fifteen minute nag, but that was
ouy in fun, You know, because of course she
WAS faster than that-and he used 10 win
money on that horse for all she was so slow,
and always had the asthma, or the distemper,
or the consumption, or something of that
kind. They used To give her two or three
hundred yards start, ana then pass her under
way; but always at the iag end of the race
she'd get excited and desperate like, and come
cavorting and straddling up, and scattering
|
and sometimes out to one side among the
fences, and kicking up more dust and rails.
| ing more racket with her coughing and
sneezinc and blowing her nosc-and always
fetch up AT the stand just about Il neck ahead,
rs near as you could cipher il down.
And he had little small bull pup, that Ia
look at you'd think he wasn't worth cent but
To set around and look ornery, and lay for a
chance to steal something. But as soon a,
the money was put up on him he was diff
ferent dog; his under jaw'd begin to stick
out like the fo'castlc of steamboat, and hi,
teeth would uncover. and shine savage like
the furnaces. And dog might tackle him
and bullrag him, and bite him, and throw
him over his shoulders two or three times
and Andrew Jdckson-which was the nam,
of the pup-Andrew Jackson would never Lei
ON but he was satisfied and hadn't expected
nothing clsc--aEd the bets being doubled and
doubled on the other side all the time, til
the money was all up; and then all Of a sud
den he would grab the other dog jest by the
lint OF his hind leg and freeze 10 il, not chaw
You understand, but only just grip and hang
on till they throwed up the sponge, if it was
a year. Smiley always came Of, winner on
that pup. till he hi.fnesscd Il d. once ihat
didn't have 10 hind legs, b eau. hvy't b e.
sawed off by circular !. r4 a.
thing had gone along far enc. a, IA. r.,
money was all up, and he came to make a
snatch for his pet holt, he saw in a minute
that he'd been imposed on, and the other dog
had him in the door. 80 10 speak, and he pear.
ed surprised, and then he looked Soricr dis
Outraged like, and didn't Try IN win the fight
and he got shocked out bad. He gave Smiley
ID look, Is much n 10 say his heart was broke,