The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-09-18
OUR CHIP-BASKET.


Domestic broils make poor dinners.
There are said to be 500 cases of yellow
fever at Shreveport, La.
An attached couple-The shells of an
oyster.
Why is the letter s like thunder Because
| it makes our cream sour cream.
Most people have found out that they
"cannot serve God and Mammon," and 30
they serve Mamnon.
A Jersey paper describes man as being
aas sociable, as batch of candidates two
weeks before election"
| Minnesota estimates that she will have
surplus of 3O,0OO,OO0 bushels Of wheat for
expectation this year.
| A Western woman advertising for her
runaway husband, says: "David has scar
on his nose where scratched it,"
Why are your eyes like friends separated
by distant climes They correspond but ne
yer meet.
Love matches are often formed by people
who pay for a month Of honey with life
full of vinegar.
How natral it IL for man, when he makes
mistake, to korrekt it by cussing somebody
else for it,
Lazy men are always the most positive
They are too lazy to inform themselves, and
too law tn change their minds
Josh Billings says: "Don't work before
breakfast. If it is necessary to toll before
breakfast, eat your breakfast first"
The editor of the Baltimore Gazette, after
years Of experience, says: "a woman is like
tar only melt her and she will take any form
you please"
A little girl in one of the public schools
being asked, in the course Of her geography
lesson, what waterfall was, replied, that it
was hair wrapped around her dads old stock
ing
A Northern cotemporary spitefully OBJ
serves that whatever justice there may be
in calling our President Cesar, there cer-
tainly is no resemblance between Grant and
Caesars wife.
A well-clothed man commands favor and
respect while one in slovenly attire can
hardly borrow his neighbor's saW-horse.
Literary gent at Saratoga to shoddy Miss:
"Have you read Shakespeare Shoddy
Miss: 'Of course I have. I read them
when they fust come out"
"My DEAR" said cross-grained husband
to his long suffering wife, "Do you intend
to make fool Of me?' "No, my love; ma
ture has saved me that trouble"
The women of Wetzel County, West Va,
have formed vigilance committee to pre-
vent their husbands from visiting the grass
widows who abound in those parts.
To say the least Of it, chewing tobacco in
church is wrong, but where person has
become so addicted to the habit that he
cannot resist it, he should try and make as
little noise as possible, and not squirt his
juice over the ladies' dresses.
ander; not because he lived in tub, but be.
cause the tub was all he wanted to live in;
wealth could not Aatter him, nor could po-
verty make him afraid.
The difference between blunder and q
mistake has thus been defined When man
puts down bad umbrella and takes up q
good one, he makes mistake, but when he
puts down good one and takes up bad
| one. he makes q blunder.
A sentimental editor says: at is consoling
to know that one eye watches fondly for our
coming, and looks brighter when We come"
A cotemporary is grieved to learn that his
"brother of the quill has a wife with only
one eye.
The writer of an obituary notice of an es.
timable lady said that the bereaved husband
was "hardly aeble to bear the demise of his
wife," Imagine his disgust on reading in
print that the bereayed husband was "hardly
able to wear the chemise of his wife,"
Profanity never did man the least good.
No man is the richer, or the happier, or
wiser for it. 1t commends no one to any So
ciety 1t is disgusting to the re6ned abomi.
nable to the good; insulting to those with
whom we associate; degrading to the mind;
Improbable and injurious to good society.
Notwithstanding the laborious efforts Of
the missionaries, cannibalism is not yet ex.
tinct in the Pacific islands. schooner
lately arrived at San Francisco with the de.
tails of a butchery, on one of the outlying
Sandwich Islands, which rivals the historic
fate Of Capt. Cooke
According to the Memphis Ledger, there
is in West Tennessee great sect of profess
ing Christians known as the Thomasites,
whose distinguishing belief is theeannihia-
t;on of the wicked after Christ shall make