The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-08-02
Two Sketches OF Domestic Scenes.
EFronl tho Danbury Ncws.l

From tho Danbury Ncws.l
HOW SHE SAWS WOOD.
Did you ever see woman undertake
to saw wood? 1t is always little
while before dinner, when the pies
ly refuse to come to the boiling point,
and the only stick of wood is exactly
three inches too long. After vain at
tempts to prove the elasticity of matter
by putting two foot three-inch stick
into two foot stove, she goes out to
the saw-horse, puts her knee on the
refractory stick in the very way she
has seen some men do. But the edges
of the wood are sharp, and she takes II
down again with an ejaculation, and,
with growing disregard for appear
ances, puts her foot on instead. Her
hair never fails to come down at this
juncture, and she has to stop and twist
it into tight knot behind before be-
ginning to saw. Here the saw COM
mences a frantic jumping and skipping
on its own account, and the feminine
mind being concentrated upon keep
ing up the foot that is up, and down
the foot that should be down, until, in
an unlucky moment, the centre of
gravity is lost. the stick flies up and
launches a blow at her nose just as
somebody goes by. She stops and pre-
tends to be looking for something,
while dark sthoughts of divorce and
separation flash through her mind, and
she VOWS in her innocent soul that she
Will never attempt to saw wood again
If there never is any dinner. But her
pride and her dinner are ut stake, and
all her native obstinacy comes to the
surface; she will conquer that stick or
die. Fired by a new fury, she succeeds
in saving two-thirds of the way
through, and breaking off the rest of
tit is q rotten rail-she goes into the
house to find the potatoes boiled dry,
and the pie in q state of sodden uncer-
tainty. The children come home from
school, and the husband from his shop,
and find a kind of hushed solemnity
in the air and no pie for dinner. The
meridional meal is eaten in silence and
bitterness of heart, and then the wife
Of his bosom enquiries if she is expected
to take care of the stable and feed the
pigs, as we'll as saw the wood. Then
the man says, "Hang it all, forgot"
and then the woman drops her sarcasm
and breaks down in the declaration
that she newer Will do it a-g Ain,
never; but she will; she will do it to-
morrow, and the next day, and the
day after; for one of the things that
women never will learn is that she
cannot saw wood.
TAKING PILLS.
The surfeiting we all undergo during
this season of fruit brings into action
the family pill-box. 1t is little sin
guiar how much hunting has to be
done to find that box, The party who
last needed its services doesn't know
where he left it, and doesn't care to
think of it at all, while he whose turn
now occurs isn't exactly tortured to
death by anxiety. We are not quite
sure but that there is faint hope down
somewhere in his breast that it may
not be found at all. He feels Jumps
forming in his throat as he peers among
the bottles and boxes which constitute
the pharmacy at his house, and when
the box finally appears, and he feels it
i'll his hand, there is 4 sensation at the
pit of his stomach as if somebody was
trying to turn that organ over with an
OLD brass candlestick. Some people
swallow dose of pills without n
qualm, and afterwards go round look
ing as proud and overbearing as boy
whose father plays i'll Il band, but the
most OF lis arc moro delicatcly consti-
tutcd, and counting out q dose of pills
while some one else gets the water,
and observes that he doesn't see how
any one can swallow the awful things,
is about rs serious an undertaking as
can be found on record. There is
something too awfully solemn about it
to describe. And it ia a little singular
that whlleu man eau swallow whole
whortlcberrics, cherry pits, and even
buckshot without any uneasiness at all,
yet single pill will catch in his throat,
at a particularly ticklish spot, and
hang there four hours, and make faces
at his stomach. And Il man in fix
like that is not exactly the party we
would select to concoct notices for a
festival.
The London lady who Joaquin Mil