Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-03-27
Brevities and Leyi4ies.

@- A woman is said to have come tc
town at Springfield, ILL.,, the other day
to buy lower jaw for her son, who had
been blowing down gun barrel.
tg A Cedar Falls man stole 8 widows
calf. She sued him and recovered the
calf and $50. So much for trifiing with
wom'an's calves.
~ A young man in the ardor ol
his affection promises to cherish one oil
'our young ladies with love that would
survive an army overcoat.
@- A parent who has fifteen daugh-
ters has poisoned his dog, taken the locks
off tho doors and hung rope ladders over
his door-yard fence by the dozen, and
still his provision bill is as large as ever.
@ That nervous youth in Louisville
who recently, by mistake, slipped a
nickel five cent piece into the parsons
hand, instead of a five dollar gold piece,
which he had ready in another pocket,
after three weeks of welded bliss, thinks
he paid pretty dear for his fun after all,
and regrets that the nickel was not a
suspender button. e.
Gs- A Connecticut man is going to
move out of the State right away because
the trustees of cemetery object to his
raising onions on his cemetery lot.
An old pair of lasts, on which the
brogans OF the editor of the st. Louis
Globe use to be built, were sawed into
tirewood the other day and sold to the
captain Of q steamboat at five dollas q
cord.
Ng- A beautiful woman, said Fontenelle,
is the purgatory OF the purse and the
paradise Of the eye. This is something
for you to think of at this season.
@- There are rumors that "memo.
randum books" are to be excluded from
the articles of stationery supplied Con-
gress, on account of the unlooked-for
expense that one of them has already
cost the nation.
~ Mrs. jerks, said little red haired
girl, with png nose and bare fee,
mother says you will obleege her by
lendin' her a stick of tirewood, ill this
cruit with vinegar, putin little soft
soap in this pan, and please not let your
turkey gobblers roosr on our fence"
~ An Ohio schoolmaster having had
occasion to administer to one of his pu-
pills the gentle chastisement which fotms
an essential feature oil Western ednca-
tion, the father of the culprit paid Il
vengeful visit to the academy during re-
cess, and-directing his son to lock the
door on the outside" went for" the
pedagogue with chair, which he used
in anything but a cEary manner. The
only thing the poor teacher had to defend
himself with was penknife with blade
not more than eight inches long; but
with this Insignificant weapon and the
consciousness of rectitudeh he was enabled
to 60 on with his afternoon classes as
soon as the pieces of his assailant had
been swept up and taken to the hospital
i'll wheel barrow.
GS- In Washington, the other day, a
female member of a colored theatrical
troupe went into dry goods store and
called for some fiesh-colored hose. The
clerk placed before her box of black
stockings, and that impertinent young
man has never been able to tell whether
he was blown up by nitro-glycerine, or
was struck by 4 shot from q seventy-two-
FOUNDER
cS- "Fellow- -trabblers," said colored
preacher, "cf had been eatin' dried ap-
pies for week, an' den took to drinkin
for monf, couldn't feel more swell'd
up dan am dis mint wild pride an
vanity at seein such full 'tendencc har
dis evcnin'."
Sc 4 Philadelphia widow. excused
herself from weeping on the occasion of
her husbands funeral, declaring that
crying always made her nose bleed.
sS"" Wearing the green" may be
rather dangerous even in ballroom.
a lady in London was conveyed from
the gay and festive scene prostrated be-
ha;,tions from the beautiful green robe
she wore. The most powerful artiGnte.'
failed to recover the fair one but when
y friend lincclrd and whispered to her
that her false hair was coming Off" she
recovered instantly