Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-10-31
Clipped Brieasts.

A baby elephant said to have been
roaming about New Jersy, turned out to
be a salt marsh musquito.
A mans death was recently caused, in
Illinois, by spider. 1t was one OF the
iron species-in the hands Of his wife.
While with essing game of base ball
ont west boy WAS struck on the back Of
his head, the bswl coming out Of his
mouth.
Heine said of Elder Dumas; "His head
is an inn where good ideas often enter,
but where they never remain over night.
Very often it is quite empty"
A California paper tells about boy
climbing tomato vine to get away from
mad dog. Tomato vines obtain an
enormous size in California, and 80 do
lies. -
At an hotel table one boarder remarked
to his neighbor: This must be healthy
place for chickens" "Whys" asked the
other. Because I never see any dead
ones hereabouts'
Lord Houghton adds the following to
the long list Of Sidney Smiths jokes: OF
Lord Macauley he said that Macauley
mot only overfowed with learning, but
stood in the slop."
A man grew eloquent at Sunday
School Convention and scared into sta
tistics: MY beloved fellow workers.
there are in the Sunday Schools in this
state 200, 600 children omitting fractions"
The boy who recommended a few drops
Of paregoric on sugar for the child Of dis.
quietude, has his match in another, who,
after successfully spelling "chicanery,"
defined it to be 'a large coop to raise
chickens
A Clay county, KY, auctioneer pulled
out revolver and announced: "If any
man goes frolicing around while the sale
is going on, shall interrupt him in his
career. Put them shot-guns over by the
fence, and leave 'em thar"
The following epigram was made when
DR., Goodenough, Bishop of Carlisle, was
one day appointed to preach before the
House Of Peers:
'Tis well enough that Goodenough
Before the Lords should preach
For sure enough, they're bad enough
He undertakes to teach:
AHC ioCt tAat uutuTc is IuH Oh COmpeu.
sation is beautifully Illustrated by recent
bit Of scientific information, which an
nounces that the fly is tormented by par.
asites, of which it cannot get rid, and
that it suffers dreadful agones from their
tickling.
An honest citizen of Perth, being re.
Gently met one Sunday morning going
from the chuIch, by his minister, was
greeted with: 20, John, do not tru' the
kirk, there will be no preaching in hell"
Indeed" said John, "it'll no be for want
O. ministers then"
Prof r. G. Kedsie, Of the Michigan
Agricultural College. has analyzed the
air Of green house which had been
closed for twelve hours, and found it bet
ter than country air. This seems to be
a strong argument in favor Of plants in
sleeping rooms.
Wilkie Collins, at his recent reading at
Troy, is said by local paper to have
been attired, with the exception q dress
coat and white cravat, in the customary
manner OF men. They must have, ex.
pected him to appear in tights. or at least
costume of the sixteenth century.
A western editor said in the most inso.
lent manner possible, that new fat iron
would probably oblige the new style of
ruffles to stay down, and now he is
squelched by bushels Of letters from in.
dignant ladies, ironically asking him to
read work upon mistaken vocations.
A man is known to his dog by the
smell-hls tailor by his coat-to his
friend by the smile; each of these know
aim, but how little or how much, depends
upon the dignity of the intelligence. That
which is truly and indeed Characteristic
Of the man is known only to God.-Rus.
kin
"Do you know of any liquor being sold
in Montpelier, of your own personal
knowledge!" YES" bluffly responded
the Colonel, Il have sold liquor to eight
of that jury that sit bofore you" The
prosecution told him he could 20, al.
though he was ready to answer further
on the subject.
An instance of the horrible fatality of
the yellow fever in Memphis is related:
In one room father was sitting dead in
his chair, the mother was dead in another
room, two daughters were sick with the
fever, and the only person about the
house in health was child too Young to
even carry q drink Of water to the fever
rieken girls.
$50 yer mothers dead is she?" inquired
a boot black the other day, of a rather
solemn faced lad, who had come back
with his "kit' after an absence of q day
np tv..p tsNac cho 80 :~l
and then Strengthening himself up he con.
tinued, And dad did the fair thing by
her-seven more hacks than Mrs. -
had the other day."-Dstroit Free Press.
It is related of Scotch lady in q re-
mote part of the highlands, noted for her
profuse liberality, that being sometimes
Overburdened with habitual ''sorners,"
when any one Of them outstaid his well
come, she would take occasion to say to
say to him at the morning meal, with an
arch look at the rest Of the company:
Max good breakfast, Mr.. -, while
you're about it, ye dinna ken whaur yen
get your dinner" The hint was usually
taken, and the "sorner" departed.
An inventor has demonstrated that it
is not necessary to groove a rifle-barrel
along it's whole length in order to get
good results in shooting. About four
inches at the muzzle arc grooved; all the
rest is smooth, by which the initial velo.
city of the bullet is much greater than in
. barrel groovcd from breech to muzzle,
and the flight of the bullet is more direct
or, as shooters say, it has q fatter ira.
jectory. 1t is found in practice that the
few inches Of growing at the muzzle are
quite sufficient to set the bullet spinning.
When I heard Mrs. Blackwell talking
Of the mothers rest being broken by the
restless baby wriggling all night long in
his cradle, thought that when we ca
have mothers educated properly we shall
have nomore Of these wriggling babies.
We shall have fine, vigorous animals, that
will lie down and sleep soundly, simply
because mothers will know better than to
:ry toproducc these conditions with sooth.
ing syrups, advertised in all manner of
newspapers, as at present. If you will
have your children sleep, strip them ma
ked at night, give them good bath of
water, and air and keep the house quiet,
and they will lie down and rest, and NO
longer wriggle. Cady Stanton.
Here are a couple of specimens of
Scotch humor: "How," said an Aber-
deem philosopher to some students he was
examining, "now, for instance, do assron-
or,orc m % c,r ro <ho AscHn l,os,rc~- -