The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-04-17
WHY LEFT THE MASONs.

lyn, aud had recently become a member
of the Masonic lodge. and of course was
very punctual in my weekly attendance,
much to the disgust of my wife, who,
with the whole family, consequently
quizzing me as to our doings at our meet
ings, and upon my asserting that riding
the goat was part of our business, they
persisted in knowing all the particulars
about the animal, until to silence them,
| said | would bring him home and show
him.
One evening about twelve 0 clock as |
was Flooding home from the lodge [
heard in advance of me continuous and
pathetic bleating. and l soon came up
with large goat standing upon the walk
who had evidently lost his bearings, wan
Gered away, and being in great grief,
Was crying-''I want to go home.
l never liked goats, and my first i'm
pulse was to kick this one land | have
always regretted | didn' do it, but the
mournful tune of his voice created a
little sympathy for him III my breast,
and | patted him on the head, and went
on. But the goat followed close at my
heels, and although | assured him his
home did not lie III this way, but was
probably down the street we had Just
crossed, he persisted. As We approach
ed my house [ more earnestly remonstra-
ted with him, and constantly patted him
Oh the rear with the toe Of my boot, to
return one block. | was much out Of
breath myself. and l said TO the goat,
Now old fellow. sit down on the curb
and rest yourself-you' tired-Il be
back in a minute-just want to 60 round
the corner and started on a run, but
in moment the goat was at my heels.
| reached my home, darted up the step.
opened the door and with feeling Of
great relief stepped in, when to my horr-
OF, into the hall bounded the goat with
triumphant bleat that echoed through
the upper hall and chambers, awakening
the whole household. The hall lamp
vas burning brightly, and | saw at a
glance that everything was arranged for
the convenience Of gazers from above.
The goat had retired to the further
end Of the hall and stood facing me &C.
casionally beating, but | began to be some
what exercised in my mind just then. |
cannot say whether tie tears were those
Of triumph and ridicule or defiance.
Whichever they were | declared war at
I once and made for the goat WHO seemed
to understand that | meant business, and
he met ne half way with blow from his
head which staggard me and forced me
back step or two. which he was ungen-
tlemanly enough to follow up one after
| another until | was driven to the bottom
of the stair, when be resumed his posi-
ton in the far end of the hall and again
faced NE.
Round number one-frst hit for the
goat" came to my ears from aloft and
as cast my eyes upward peal Of laugh-
ter came tearing down the stairs and ]
could just perceive a crowd banging over
the banister Of both flights, which ]
knew full well was made up O. wife, chill.
dren, waggish young friend who lived
with US, two visitors, and the servants,
full audience in the dress circle looking
down into the pit to see the fun.
80, pas brought home the goat, "
cried one of the children.
Eyes and he's practicing with it, !"
said another
Which degree is that performance
in p asked my wife.
Glad we didn't go to the theatre to
night" chimed in one Of my visitors.
Thine time shouted my young
friend from the upper tier, thought 50
too, and | went for the second round.
But now [ changed my tactics; | ad-
Vanced slowly, keeping close to the wall
and endeavoring to get behind the beast,
thinking would try the pats on his rear
with my boot again, in hopes they would
calm him and pursuade him to retire as
they had done before out doors, but he
evidently objected to any Change of
base" and once more charged home"
upon me.
This time. however, | caught him by
the horns, and then struggling commenc-
ed in earnest. The goat lifted up his
voice In loud protestations of foul
play, and | opened my mouth and gave
utterance to hopes i'll regard to goats in
general and this one in particular, which
it might not be proper to mention, as l
had my hands so full at the time could
not give my usual thought and attention
to the selection Of the elegant words and
expressions which usually characterize
conversation. L finally said. 'you brute
you won't go out, ha but'-and he
butted: and he was the strongest butter
[ ever met with; so strong that in spite
of my holding his horns, he spread him
self all over the hall, SO thoroughly stirr-
ing NE up that | laid down on the floor
to recover my equanimity, at which the
goat suggested "a series Of ground .umb-
lings, which lie went through | believe,
with horror TO ourselves and to the great
satisfaction OF the delightful audience
and at the end Of which I picked myself
up from the floor at the foot of the stairs
ard saw the goat regaining his corner at
the end of the hali-giving a victorious
bleat as he did SO,
Round two-frst knock down for the
goat, came from aloft, and on tbursts of
cheers and clapping of hands followed.
Get on the goat and ride him, pa.
cried one of the children.
20 yes, do pa, that will be NICE
shouted another.
Dom you need saddle, dear ?" ask
de my wife. Won't the door mat do?"
was furious, and sprang for the ami
NAL regardless of time or situation. He
also Storte5 FIR ma npdar FIJI soil ord nc