The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1873-02-13
The Sandwich Annexation
A SPECIMEN MIN ISTER.

iNilhcr III times gone ny. VIII Wv
von a superintendent the most iavo'
able. Harris, Tor instance. llarrr>
an Americana long-legge', van
light. w,igh, viiliage lawyer from
New Hampshire. 1t he had lra'"r
u proportion t" his legs, he wonl"
make SoIoman s. EN- a failure II his
modrs,y cqnalcl his ignorance, he
would make violet seem s,uck-np
# his learning cqnaled his vanity, he
would make Won Humbo Idt seem as
an,cticrcl AS the blacksidc OF tom
scenes; il his statute were proportion
cd to his conscience, he would. he
f. gem Tor The microscope ; II his
IDEAS were AS large as his words, 1t
would take man three months 10
walk around Que of them; 1t an an
,lience were TO contract TO listen as
long as lie would talk, that andienc'
would die OF old age; ard II h
we're TO talk until he sand something,
nr would still be on his hind legs
when the last trump sounded. AUD
ne would have cheek enough TO wa',
ill the .is,u, bance was ov.r, and g"
OH again.
Snch is Tor was) his Exccllrncy
Mr.. Harris, his late Majrstys MINIS.
| ter OF this, that and the other-i"r
| ne WAS It,le of everything An
particularly and always he was the
Kings most oheibent, humble ser
van, AMI loving worshiper, and his
,hici champion and mou,hplece i"
the parliamentary branch of minis
tcrs Aud when question came up
ut didn't mako any difference what
1t was,) how he would rise up and
saw the air with his bony fails
and storm and ca,ort and hurl
sounding emptiness which lie thought
was cloquence, aud discharge bile
which he iancicd was satire, and is
sue dreary rubbish which he took for
humor, and accompany it with con.
,ur'ious of h,s undertaken coun,c-
nance which he believed to be com
&c expressions !
lie began in the islands as little,
ob,c, ure lawyer. and rose T. } TO such
a many sided official grandce that
sarcsst folks dnbbcd HIM the wheel
Ut the government. He became a
great man in pigmy-lana, he was OF
he calihre that other countries con
struclel con>tablcs and coronrrs.-
DO not wish 10 seem prejnliced
ayains, Harris. aud | hope hat moth
ng | have said will convsy su.h al
Impression. | must he an honest
historian. and - la this in the pre-
,e,ll case | nav. to reveal the tact
that this stately figure. which lonks
so like Washington monumvu, in
the distance. is nothing bat a thirty
dol!ar wln lmill whan You gei cloes
TO hi,n.
Harris loves to proclaim that he is
u, ,ongsr an American, and i. proud
/ OF it; that he is Il Hawaiian lhrou IA
anl through ml through, and Is
proud of that, toe; and that he rs
a williL. subject aud servant OF his
lord and Muster the King, and is
proud an grateful, that it Is SO.
WHY VIZ 81 3uLD AMEN.
Now, L., us annrx the is'ands.--
| Think how W. could huill up tina,
wh,ljny trade Though un,l.r our
caarls aud judges 1t might soon b.
Is impossible tor whalcships to rem
lczvou' there wi,haut being fia,rcl
an pulled down by sailors aud pei
oygrrs AS it now is in San Fan.
cisco, place the shippers shun as
they woull the rocks aud shoals
Let us annex. We could make III
/ gar enough thare To supply all
America, perhaps, AMI the prices
would be very easy with the 'ln'ies
removed. And hen we shorll hav.
such fine halt way house Tor our
Pacific plying ships; and such con
venient supply ieao, and such com
mantling sentry box for An armc |
squadron and We could raise COZ
Ton and coffee there aud make i, pay
pretty well, with the duties off an
capital "a, O. to get at. And then we
would own the mlghliest volcano on
earth K,auca Barnnm could run
It'll" understands fires now. -,
rs annex, by all means. We coull
paciiy Prince Bill and other mobiles,
easily enongh-pnt them on reser
vation. Nothing pleases a savage
like reservation "a reservation
where he has his annual hoes and
Bibles and blankets to trade for
powder and whiskv--a sweat A'ca.
dian retreat fenced in with soldiers.
" ann King We would get all those
10000 natives cheap as dirt, with
heir morals anl other diseases
,hrown in. No cxpcl,s tor education
they are already educated II,
'"e,l to COVERT ,li,m--they are al
ally converted; no expcnsr to
vioihe them-tor obvi us reasons.
We must annex lhos' people We
~ ;fa e! item With cur wise and
II. tlrrn, government w. can in
so'urc til. novelty OF thieves. all
ne way up from street and c., pick
packets TO municipal robbers aud
government detanltrrs, aud show
them how amusing it i. 10 arrest
them and try them and then turn
then, loose-som. Tor cash and some
for political influence We cali
msk" them ashamed OF their print.