Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-10-24
A TALE OF ENGLISH MAIL-COACH
DAYS.

An English gentleman, of true John.
Bull proportions, weighing some eighteen
or twenty stone, had occasion to travel
in summer by stage-cOach from Oxford to
London. The stage carried six inside;
and our hero engaged two places las, in
consideration OF his SIZE he usually did
for himself The other four seats were
taken by Oxford students.
These youths, being lighter than our
modern Lambert, reached the stage be-
fore he did, and each snugly possessed
himself of corner seat, leaving u center
seat on each side vacant. The round
goOd-tempered face of John Ball soon
after appeared at the carriage-door, and
peering into the vehicle and observing
the local arrangements, its owner said,
with a smiles "You see | am of pretty
comfortable size, gentlemen; so l have
taken two seats. 1t will greatly oblige
me if one of you will kindly move into
the opposite seat, so that | may be able
to enter"
"My good sir" said pert young law
student, possession is nine-tenths of the
law. You engaged two seats. There
they are, one on each side. We engaged
one each, came first, entered regularly
into possession, and our titles to the seats
we occupy are indisputable."
81 do not dispute your titles" said the
other, "but trust to your politeness, see
ing how the case stands, to enable me to
pursue my journey"
20, hang politeness!" said hopeful
young scion of some noble house. II have
horror of middle seat, and would not
take one to oblige my grandmother; it's
ungraceful as well as uncomfortable; and,
besides, one has no chance of looking at
the pretty girls 2long the road. Good old
gen rlpman arran ua Vour oOncornu oo x,O,,
= ease; stick to my corner" Aud he
leaned back, yawned, and settled himself
with hopeless compOsure in his place.
Our corpulent friend, though a man
not easily discomposed, was somewhat
put out by this unmannerly obstinacy.
He turned to smart-looking youth with
81 nper on his face-a clerical
student who had hitherto sat in a rev
cry, possibly thinking over his chances of
a rich benitice in the future. "Will you
accommodate me ?" he asked; this is the
last stage that starts for London to-day,
and business of urgent importance calls
me to town"
''Some temporal affair, no doubt" said
the graceless youth, with a mock of grav-
ity; "some speculation with filthy lucre
for its object. Good father, at your age
your thoughts should turn heavenward,
instead of being confined to the dull,
heavy tabernacle of clay that chains us
to earth" And his companions roared
with laughter at the "clever Joke"
A glow of indignation Just colored the
strangers cheek; but he mastered the
feeling in moment, and said, with much
composure, to the fourth, care you also
determined that l shall lose my place; or
will you oblige me by taking center
seat?"
"Ay, do, Tom" said his lordship to the
person addressed "he's something in the
logical curiosity. You ought to accom-
mOdate him"
"May | be poisoned if dom replied
the student of medicine. "In a dissect-
ing-room, he'd make an excellent subject;
but in coach, and this warm weather,
too! Old gentleman, if you'll put your
self under my care, I'll engage in the
course of six weeks, by a judicious course
of depletives, to save you hereafter the
expense of double seat. But, really, to
take middle seat in the month of July
is contrary to all the rules of hygeine,
and practice to which l have a profes-
sional objection"
And the laugh was renewed at the old
gentleman's expense.
By this time the patience of coachee, who
logue, was exhausted. "Harkee, gemmen,"
said he, "settle the business as you like;
but it wants just three-quarters of min
ute of twelve, and with the first stroke of
the University clock my horses must be
Of. l would not wait three seconds longer
for the king, God bless him. 'Twould be as
much as my place is worth" And with
that he mounted his box, took up the
reins, bid the hostler shut the door, and
sat with upraised whip, listening for the
expected stroke.
As 1t sounded from the venerable belfry,
the horses as if they recognized the sig
nal, shot off at gallop with the four
young rogues, to whom their own rude
ness and our fat friends dilemma afford
ed prolific theme for merriment during
the whole stage.
Meanwhile the subject of their mirth
hired a postchaise, followed and over
took them at the second change of horses,
where the passengers got out ten minutes
for lunch. As the pOstchaise drove up to
the inn door, two young chimney-sweeps
passed with their bags and brooms and
their well-known cry.
Come hither, my lads,' said the cor
pulent gentleman, "what say you to a
rider"
The whites of their eyes enlarged into
still more striking contrast with the dark
shades of the sooty cheeks. "Wili you
have ride, my boys, in the stagO'coach?"
"Ees, zur," said the elder, scarcely dar-
ing to trust the evidence of his ears.
"Well, then, hostler, open the stage
door Inwith you! And, dye hearg be
sure to take the two middle seats; so, one
ON each side"
!he guards horn sounded, and cOachee's
voice was heard: "0nly one minute and
half more, gentlemen; come onp'
They came, bowed laughingly to our
friend OF the corporation, and passed on
tu the coach. The young lord was the
first TO put his foot on the steps. "Why,
how now, coachee? What confounded
joke is this? Get out, you rascals, or I'll
teach you how to play gentlemen such a
trick again"
"Slt still, my lads; you're entitled
to your places My lord the two mid
die seats, through your action and that
of your young friends, are mine; they
were regularly taken and duly paid for
l choose that two prOteges of mine shall
occupy them. An English stage coach
is free to every one who behaves quietly,
and l am answerable for their good con
duct; so mind you behave, bOysl Your
lordship has a horror of a middle seat;
pray take the corner one"
. NOyerreached us, by Jove" said the
4 law student I'VE give up the cause, and
cry you mercy, Mr. Built
blythe is my name"
"We cry quits, worthy Mr.. Blythen
"You forget that possession Is nine.
tenths of the law, my good sir, and that
the title Of these lads to their seats is in
disputable. have installed them as my