Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1873-01-30
CURRENT ITEMS.


CURRENT ITEMS.
CoN.-When is a milkman like a. fid-
dleP When he is a cream-owner.
In the late great storm in Paris lady
was blown through plate-glass window.
THREE fourths of the writing paper
made in this country comes from Hol-
yoke, Mass.
GREEN ISLAND, N. Y, on the Hudson,
has lager beer saloon and coffin man.
ufactory in the same room.
THE Mayor of country town, conceiv.
ing that the word "clause" was in the
plural number, would often talk of
''claw" in an act of the Legislature.
1T is said that some of the proprietors
of the large New York Hotels are about
to dress all the servants, perters, etc., in
a regular uniform.
AN old lady of New Haven, who,
whenever she opens her mouth puts her
foot in it, says that now she is sure she's
got an eel in her stomach.
THE Philadelphia Jews propose estab-
fishing Widowers' Fund Society, for
the purpose of rendering assistance to
widowers who, by the death of their
wives, are left with small children de-
pendent on them.
ADANBURY youth who could not sing
or play, wanting to serenade his girl,
whistled for half hour under her win
dow, the other evening, and when he got
over the fence he found about seventy
five dogs waiting to see what he wanted.
ONE of the most accomplished English
art writers of the day states that he has
found the American people much more
receptive of art ideas than those of En-
gland, and that he consequently has great
hope for the future of the fine arts in
America.
WHEN Kansas City girl, who was
clerk in a candy store, learned that she
had fallen heir to 800, 900 in England,
she refused to attend customers, and
perched herself on the counter. and
chewed gum-drops the rest of the day.
A WORTHY old lady in an Eastern
town recently refused the gift of load of
wood from tree which had been struck
by lightning, through fear that some of
the "luid" might remain in the wood,
and cause disaster to her kitchen stove.
A GENTLEMAN at Lancaster, Pa, it is
said, has horse that takes his children to
school in the morning, returning home
driverless, and at night returns for them
LII tuC SdluC way, LIS hOSC
the window-pane to indicate his presence,
THERE is little railroad at Bayou
Sara, La, that runs to Woodville on q
very inaccurate schedule. A stranger
came in the other day and inquired how
often the steam-car made trips to the
country. The party interrogated said
''Tri-weekly." 'sWhat do you mean by
tri.weekly 9'' The answer was, "lt goes
up one week and tries to come down the
next"
A BENNINGTON (Vt.) lad, named Gage
who is under articles of apprenticeship,
wanted to go to his home at Syracuse
and got up bogus telegram announcing
the death of his father. This worked
very well, and he got his vacation; but
the old gentleman happened to be well
known in the village, SO the local papel
unkindly published an obituary notice
The boy has returned to his work, but ht
won't send any more kilograms.
THE appeal tells of Memphis lady
who wrote to a New York matrimonia
agent for a husband. The agent trans
ferred the letter to a crusty old bachelor
who, in replying to it, accidentally sub
stituted for his own photograph that O
a pet orangoutang The lady answered
"There is certainly not much persona
beauty about you, but you appear to hav,
an honest, manly face. accept"
Mr.. BERGH recently went by Invitation
to test the merits of the "gyro," the nev
automatic pigeon. The gyro initiated il
every particular the real pigeon whel
sprung from trap. 1t is of tin or brass
and is started by pulling string which
loosens spring. The direction of it
fight can be regulated, as alsoits distance
| An odr &c fhof Oh nf
! its mark, and the shooters skill cal
thereby be tested with greater nicely
Fifty gyros were flown from trap anC
shot at. The spectators expressed entir,
satisfaction at the result.-Neao York Sun
A YOUNG lady living in this place wht
went to Cleveland on the accommoda
tion train few days since was con
siderably vexed because fruit-vende
booming through the cars came up to he
and, smiling blandly, said: "Sweet, hav,
any oranges?' She told young MAJ
with whom she was acquainted and who
was sitting near her, that she though
that boy was rather familiar in calling
her pet names. She became less indignap
when the conductor explained that tn,
innocent fruit-seller merely exclaimed
"Sweet Havana oranges. ''-Painesoiu
Telegraph.
THE belt of land around the globe, so,
miles north and 500 miles south of th,
equator, abounds in trees producing tn,
| gum of india-rubber. They can be tap
ped, it is stated, for twenty successiv,
seasons without injury; and they stant
so close that one man can gather the sal
of eighty in day, each tree yielding, OF
an average, three tablespoonsful a day
Forty three thousand of these trees hav,
hna fo1 IS
| long by eight wide. There are in Europ,
tories of india rubber articles, employin,
500 operatives each, and consuming NOR,
than 10, O00, 600 pounds of gum year
and the business is considered to be still
in its infancy
WE have felt rather kindly towart
French roofs sinceI Friday night. Tw,
cats got on Mr.. Welland's that evening
They were cats that evidently never saw
a French roof before; but they were no
timid. They, without moments pause
sounded the battle cry and went to work
For two minutes there was a great dea
of pulling around and bowling; but j
was French roof, it was new ground
and, before they were fairly aware of it
they were off the roof and going toward
the earth at lightning velocity, PAWN,
out into the air for something to get hol(
of, splitting and crying, and swearing ant
beseeching and sobbing, with their heart
full of agony and their mouths full O
fur, all the way down to the ground
where they arrived in a condition to af
ford nourishment to Mr.. Welland's grape
vines.-Dan6atry Neaos
THE blunders of the English in regar,
to American geography are notorious
An antiquarian finds several curious illus
trations in Thackaray's "Virginians.
Thus the great novelist makes Madam
Esmond, of Castlewood, in "Westmore
land County," a neighbor of Washington
at Mt. Vernon, on the Potomac, fift,
miles distant, and a regular attendant o.
public worship at Williamsburg, half-wa
between the York and James rivers, flu
one hundred and twenty-five miles fror
Mt. Vernon; and so Immensely affected
are the colored hearers of a youn
| roty 1iar c1,,1r hat fIo,-o