Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-03-21
ANOTHER 1NCENprARy FIRE
LudicrOMs Lunacy.

"''""h' vi 'hio"pPiicd talellt
engaged on inventions that can new.
err be used is as wonderful as it is
prolific, and there is a ludicrous
element in many of the patents, and
more of the applications, which is
well worth investigation. We ex.
tract from the records of the Patent
Office an account of some of these
that show more genius than com
mon sense, and have produced more
laughter than profit:
In 1870 the owner of some bee.
hives, irritated by the loss of his
honey by the bee moth, asked for IA
patent for Il combined hen roost and
beehive. He had noticed that the
bee moth travels ut night, while the
busy bee works by day. His de
sire, therefore, AWas for device
that should admit the worker by
day and keep out the thief by night.
Thus his ingenuity effected the
erection of n hen roost pivoted upon
4 beehive, provided with gates
The bees were expected to be in
their cells just bcto,e dark; the hens,
alighting on their r6osts, were then
to close the gates of the hive, and
keep them shut all night. The ear
| ~ rising of the hens would auto
matically open the gates again, and
return the bees--their honey safe
to the airs of Heaven and the flow
ers of earth. He received the pat
! ent.
Another applicant asked for Il
patent right for an artificial moon,
that should light each town that
used it without expense. His eye
had often been struck by the rctlec-
ton of the distant windows at sun
set, and how far light travels. He
therefore proposed 4 balloon for
each town, sufficiently large to raise
a huge reflector that was to be
hoisted every evening at dusk (about
the time the hens had shut in the
bees). The reflection of the suns
rays cast downward upon the vii
lage was sure to light it through all
the darkness of the night. Fortu-
nately for himself, this inventor
presented his application through
a patent attorney, who told him it
was doubtful if it could be OBJ
tanned.
In the fall Of 1872, . gentleman,
probably from California, applied
for and received a patent for build
ing houses on rollers, SO that in case
of earthquakes they might roll for
ward or backward and not be shak-
en- to pieces.
Only three years have passed
away since very ingenious gentle
man from the rural districts applied
for patent to prevent cows from
switching their tails. He presented
two models-onc shaped like & bot
tie, around the end Of which the
cows tail was to be curled; the
other consisted of a square block,
with hole in the centre, wherein
the tail was to be put and tied in a
knot, SO that the animal could not
withdraw it. On the presentation
of the application, the official exam.
liner thought it could not be granted
because OF Il similar device in "Don
Qulxote," where Sancho Panza, try
ing to sleep in y hayloit, was kept
awake by the braying Of his donkey
below. His wakefulness gave San
cho time to reflect that when riding
the donkey, the animal always
switched his tail when he brayed.
Descending hastily, the squire tied
a block to the donkey's tail to pre-
vent him from braying. But as
this device originated with a Span
lard, and had never been repeated
in this country, the Office decided to
grant the patent. Our readers will
therefore remember, that they can
not tie cows tail to prevent its
switching without payment Of
royalty to the owner of this privi-
lege.
Another gentleman applied for
patent for heating canals by steam,
SO that boating could go on in
the winter as well as in summer
The office decided that this inven-
ton was worthy Of protection, and
gave him his patent.
Another applied for combina-
ton of clock and and bed, SO ingen-
ionsly contrived that, when the
clock struck, the bottom of the bed
dropped out. He claimed that this
plan would probably awaken the
sleepers.
Speaking of combinations, he
must have come from Missouri or
Kansas who asked for u patent for
combination of cannon and plow.
For this purpose he filed three APP
plications, making the elongated
handles hollow, so as 10 form two
cannon. These were to be kept
loaded till the guerillas were after
him; the cannon were then to be
fired; the gueriHas shot down, and
the farmer to go on his way rejoic-
ing. .-....l-
And he, too, must have come from
the borders who asks for Il patent
combination of trunk and house, -
The trunk was made with triple
sides moving up and down. Doing
duty all the day in guarding clothes
when night comes on, and no cabin
near, the goods We're to be taken
out, the triple walls elevated into
one, and the benz GIFTED traveller safe
ly housed. xxx. ...-
Another asked for patent for the
invention of the generation Of steam,
by boring hole into the ground
until he reached the waters that are
boiled by the eternal fires of earth.
He set forth among the advantages
of his plan, that there would be no
danger Of explosion, no expense for
fuel, no necessity for engineers,
all of which statements are undoubt.
eddy true.
1t must have been relative Of
the last named gentleman, and one
equally well acquainted with the
laws that govern the hidden heart
of this planet, applied for q patent
for boring the earth for artesiar
wells for purposes of irrigation
H. fo,sl, tb,t t,n H.,