Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-01-23

fancied was satire, and issue dreary
rubbish which he took for humor, and
accompany it with contortions of his
undertaken ccuntenance which he be-
ieved to be comic expression!
He began in the islands as little,
obscure lawyer, and rose () to be such
q many.sided official graudee that sar-
carstic folk dubbed him, "the wheels
of the government" He became a
great man in pigmy land-he was of
the caliber that other countries con-
struct constables and corcners of. I
do not wish to seem prejudiced against
Harris, and I hope that nothing have
said will convey such an impression. 7
must be an honest historian, and to
do this in the present case I have to
reveal the fact that this stately figure,
which looks 80 like Washington mon.
ument in the distance, is nothing but
thirty-dollar windmill when weget close
to him.
Harris loves to proclaim that he is
no longer an American, and he is proud
of it !; that he is a Hawaiian through
and through, and is proud of that, too
and that he is willing subject and
servant of his lord and master. the
King, and is proud and grateful that it
is 80.
WHY WE SHOULD ANNEX.
Now, let us annex the islands. Think
how We could build up that whaling
trade! Though under our courts and
Judges it might soon be as impossible
for whaleships to rendezvous there
without being Aeeced and "pulled" by
sailors and pettifoggers as it now is in
San Francisco-a place the shippers
shun as they would rocks and shoals. ]
Let us annex. We could make sugar
enough there to supply all America,
perhaps, and the prlces would be very
easy with the duties removed. And
then we would have such fine half
way house for our Pacific-plying ships;
and such q convenient supply depot
and such commanding sentry box for
an armed squadron; and we could raise
cotton and coffee there and make
it pay pretty well, with the duties
off and capital easier to get at.
And then we would own tho mlghtiest
volcano on earth-Kilauea Barnum
could run it-he understands fires now.
Let us annex, by all means. We could
pacify Prince Bill, and other mobiles
easy enough-put them on a reserva.
ton. Nothing pleases q savage like a
reservations reservation where he
has his annual hoes, and Bibles and
blankets to trade for powder and whls-
ky-a sweet Arcadian retreat fenced in
with soldiers. By annexing, We would
get all those $4,000 natives cheap az
dirt, with their morals and other dis
eases thrown in. No expense for edu
cation-they are already educated; no
need to convert them-they are already
converted no expense to clothe them
or obvious reasons.
We must annex those people. We
can afflict them with our wise and bene.
ficent government. We can intl odnce
the novelty of thieves all the way up
from street car pickpockets to munich
pal robbers and government defaulters.
and show them how amusing it is to
arrest them and try them and let them
loose-some for cash aud some for
"political influence We can make
them ashamed of their simple and pri'
mitive Justice. We can do away with
the occasional hanging for murder,
aud let them have Judge Pratt teach
them how to save imperilcd Avery-as-
sassins to society. We Gun give them
some Barnards to keep their money cor.
porations out Of difficulties. We caaa