The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-12-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

BOSWELL once asked johnson If there
was no possible circumstance under which
suicide would be iustifable. "No," said
johnson. "Well, said Boswell, Sup
pose a mar had been guilty Of fraud, and
that he was certain to be found out"
"Why, then, 'as the reply, Sin that
case let him 60 ome country where he
II not known, anu not to he devil, where
he Ia known"
A German peddler sold a man liquid for
exterminating bugs. "And how do you
use it r. inquired the man after had bought
it, Ketch to bug md drop Won letle drop
into his mouth" answered the peddler.
Pshaw !" exclaimed the purchaser, "I
could kill it in half the time by stamping
on it" "Vell, exclaimed the German,
dat is a good way too"
Pat" said a traveller, why did you
make the stone wall around your shAnty
80 thick r =" Why, please yer honor, |
hear they have extraornara high winds in
Americy, 10 | thought if built it about
as thick az it was high, if it should blow
over it would be Just as high As it was
afore, yer honor"
A correspondent % the Richmond Dis
pitch says "Just after we left Ronceville
Judge O. of Charlottesville, commenced
his jokes, and soon had all the passengers
in roar. "I1l tell you what can do,
said the Judge to correspondent Of q N.
Y. Paper. You may think of any tune
you please, whether ever heard it or not,
and by seeingyou keep time By your fingers
| can tell what you are playing" The cor
respondent was skeptical. After thinking
for moment he commenced piano play
ing on the back of the seat in front Of him,
with the grace Of Leo Wheat. What
am playing now r. he asked eagerly, and
with an air Of triumph. You are play
ing the fool, " replied the Judge.
Loss Of a china packet-Ship II eHclAim-
ed Mrs. Partington. ''No wonder, when
iron Ones aren't always safe.
UPoN the 'outer wall" Of . neighboring
female college the other morning, was diH-
covered, conspicuously displayed, the sign
Domestic Sewing Machines" Some Of
those specimens Of total depravity known
As college students did il.
AN absent-minded man entered Troy
shoe store the other day, and wanted his
boy measured for q pair of shoes. 'But
where's tho boy r. asked the dealer.
Thunder r said the man, 'Tve left the
boy At home. Ill 60 and get him !" and of
he started for his house, six blocks away.
IRAscIBLE old parity Conductor, why
didn't you wake me as asked you Here
| am miles beyond my station" Conduc.
tori did try, sir, but all could get out
Of you was all right, MAria get the chill
dren their breakfast, and Ill be down in Z
minute.
| A PARSoN, who WAS not over-promptly
paid by his parishionerS, on entering th'
church one Sabbath morning, met one oi
the mOst wealthy Of his flock and asked tn
loan of q sovereign. Certainly" said thu
man, at the same time handing over th,
coin. Dominic put il into his pecket, Ant
preached his preach in most capital style
and, on coming down, handed the identi
cal sovereign TO the man from whom h
borrowed it. why, exclaimed the lend
er, you have not used the money at all.
"It has been Of great service to me, never
theless," replied the parson; II Away
preach 20 much better when have none,
in my pocket" The hint was taken, anl
the rest Of his salary was got together IN
following afternoon.
A MINISTER once told Wendell Phillips
that if his business in life wAs to save ne
fgroes, he ought to 90 South where they ar
and do It. That l. worth thinking Of,
replied Phillips, "and what u your buGi
ness in life r. To save men from hell
replied the minister. ssRhnn Ro here aLi
attend to your blaimssa, 7" replied Phillip.
Two attorney Ovsrtaking q wagons
with two spans Of horssu, and thinking 1
} be witty II his sxpenas, asked him. 'sHov
does IL happan thAt yOuF forward .horus
. are 20 lat and the rear cneu 90 POorr I'm
WAGNER knowing themp mawworud seEh
: fore span are lawyers, and ths sthss Il
! enta"