The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-11-12
SCRAPS.

When patient begins TO feed
more, his doctor is always feedless
Those ! who. Who have tried it say that
kissing is like a sewing machine
because it seams good. ...,
Some people say that dark-hair
women marry first. We differ
its hthe light headed ones.
The members of the last Con
gresss' are now divided into" "back
Paysters" and st''pay-backsters,"
The postal card, in its way, fal
tils the scriptural requirements o.
am eyefor an eye. It's sent for, {
cent, .r.>. -. ' .. ..... ~
What is the difference between
a cloud and a whipped child? One
'poufs with rain, and the other roars
with pain. pa
The Norfolk papers describe,
ghost which frequents hotel il
Suffolk. 1t, is probably only the
fqqor inn-spectre. .GE5 ~
"A publisher once advertised un'
der the head of 'sNew Books
:'Nill on Political Economy" edit
to'on,the Floss ...i, ,'as.a
- A sign on a garden fence near
Long Branch reads thus-s'Posi'
>tivelyno more stealing allowed or
these premises. No exceptions
T. An obituary notice in a Connec
ticut paper concludes with the an
:houncement that ''the deceased
leaves two infant daughters, boil
girls ..~ III
"A young man was arrested ir
Philadelphia the other day, fol
stealing fifteen drums. Of course
he couldn't keep such a thing a;
that quiet. .. =
.ssMhai' 8: the date Of your bus
tie ?" was what an anxious papa o:
Cobleskill asked his well-dressed
daughter, after searching for thE
latest cepy Of his paper. :" &.
"DAwN OF GENUS -"What':
the use Of talking to baby, mamma
he can't understand you ?''' "Why
eNs't he understand me?' "Why
hes got no teeth? ss.' 3 .
sfCousin Belle, can'twe hit upor
some plan for making that cold
hearted lover of yours .jealous?ss
4sOh, yes, Cousin Ralph, I thinE
I'VE can, if we put our heads togeth
err l... g.. ........ 81
A Western bridegroom sent al
account Of his wedding to the vii
>lage paper, and was mortified when
"the, yndaing trousseau" came out
in print :"thc wedding trousers
A stranger went into a New
London store, on Tuesday, and
bought apaiL, stealing an ak at the
same time Twice be came. back
and changed the pail, taking anoth-
:er axe each time. Such az being
illegal the operator wasjailed.
A footman. from Connemara got
q situation in Dublin. On entering
q room where there was vase with
golden fish, he exclaimed, "Well,
this is the first time l ever saw red
hearing alive, ...5 O 49,,
}Anshonest old farmer who thinks
great deal Of certain newspaper
devoted to live stock, is in the hab-
it of saying, "The editor of that
ERE paper knews1more abont live
stock than any other man in the
country. HIS head is just full Of
lire stock. ,r .
A PENNSYLVANIA clergyman Of
the old school, who believes in
pHiaf R9saehiin gq lately said5 in :. a
Sermon to the younger members of
Ills flock, s'Don Z idle about and de-:
pend on the Lord for your daily
bread, young man; lie isn't run
hing a bakery
An old lady in Tennessee, living.
infal islcEy district, being asked.
how she Accounted for the unusual
mortality in hcr neighborhood dur
ing the present, season, said, 'sDcar5
me II can't tell; so many. people
are dying this year that never died
before!!",, - .. -
An old farmer said to his sons =
<'Boys, don't you ever speculate or
wait for something to rum up.
Yon mightjust as well go an sit
down-on a'stone, in the rmiddlo ofI
annedder, with pail atwixt your
legs, an wait for COW to back to
you to be'milked." - no"
An old farmer became seriously
i'll, and was urged by his neighbors,
who thought he was going to die,
to call, ID d minister to pray for
him." aTo pray for me? No, sir;
/ am an original Granger, and do
not want any middle-man between
me and almighty God.
; .2Fhe} following & advertisement is
from a Boston paper:-''The devils
gotta l1ottgage on Boston; Every