, 1873-11-02
1iUMOE,


box, "how ahonld know anythinE. about nny-
thing ! don't know anything ahout2"
-"poor Jim Wayno!' romarla m Indiana
psSf va ne aas a s13ne Ills m nes$ .as don't
-" Il 3s worry curious" saia nj, old gentleman
to hts frlona, nttiat Il watch should be kept
nGri9a's'y nIa dry whom th0r' ls running spring in
1t ia reported Of MI eminent Senator that
sucll B h's devotion 10 q -galno OF carda tint ho
would not hestAte, amid Tie sorrolv Of n crasl-
Ing world, to insiat on playng tho last trump.
Respect for old ago noyor lasl brighter H.
who always refuacg to go to tho waah-tub when
hcr nothor or grandmother ID prosont.
A baby wan born on a streot-railway chr in
St. LouiH. II it's boy Il onght to be chrlstenca
tho mother haa determined to name 1t Car'line.--
--Toaoltor-'' 'Who vas tho first man ?" Hoad
Scholar" Mashingtoni he was the irat in "ar,
drst man." 10, # you're tnlltinig Of Foreigners,
IBpose lio was,"
-Epitaph on n ocomotiyc--ColliBiona four or
five she bore tho signals wcro In vain; grown
OH aud ruatcd, her Boiler busted, and smaaled
--aood Ten,plar to Highland coaobmnn-;
yory warm, conch1nnn; haye t!rop7" Coach;
n nl1n Ihaaf r. s,r% prnts w.ta "Ang1' ta Il
Good Templar-" Onty toRst and water"
Tommy can't SOC why people will persist in
cnliug what Shakespeare wroto lllB works, when
wo all know the book is filed with plnyA:
-Cliawlos doesn't GO out now when the grass
Ia wet and his boots are blachened. lIc says tho
ting old aud lame, aud can't handle brush Us
alle used to-.
--Hyporbole- Saxon Sportsman" ANY. anipo
nbout hess ny y' man p l; patI" snspes i1 IT.
abouts!" !"-Punch.
AT dinnor-tnblo tho other day, q facetious
youth callod into question whether 1t was cor
root to uso tho phrase, ".fhat GRO {air> gnn."
tainy, il It + proper to soy tits ore trumpet"
-a1r. Smith ia bound to lavo hla joke. His
wife walked nearly in front Of a rairoad train
tho other day, and ho sail that it she had gone
. step farther his children would havo had
-"Now, willie" sasa Fanny, "do hare 2 little
courage Whom / have powder to tako don't
like it my more than you Do; but | make up my
mind that will take it, and dol. "And And 'Shen
mal.e up ny mind that won't take it, and
dou'tl"
"A s,nday-sehool tcucher, explaining, tho
frat chapter Of GenoaiB. asked Why did God
command them to loavo tho fruit OF one tree un-
touched ?" 4 doad silence. At last, little girl
spoke up, aud aad: "Pleaso, marm, think ho
wanted to feayo some fol 1nanners!"
"A facotious Atossachusotta groces announces
on placard at the door; IA fresh invoice Of
smoked tongues.
A Pennsylyania clergyman has mado hit
By Introducing "personals in his prayers. For
instance: Lord, have mercy Oh John shana-
han, who keeps saloon noar tllo old red bridge.
Either lay him on bed Of sickness or have him
removed from this town.
=" Madam, why were you not hero before?"
~ could not come. rs" "Wefo yqu not snbs y; :;
"What wau tho matter, madam Pr " had gu
awful BOIL sir" "Upoil. your honor, madam 7''
"No, sir; upon my nrm."
--saya the Rutland, Vt, Herald: "At the time
supposed to 10 IN dat'gor hurried1y dreAaed her.
neff, run out, and inquired Of aonlo lady friends
who we're standing on tho sidewalk in front OF
tho house. III my back hair on atraighs p Tho
ruling passion strong Ia fright"
"A Maysvillo. Ky, paper snys thore is n sor-
yant-girl in that town who las lived with tho
same family for u whole month, and during that
tiuo has ouly been to osc circus, one fair, col
oro fnera ana six psaayfertn%GongD &C. Ing
over known That recorded Of man who COM
Menccd By boiling door, after which lie threw
up window aud then sat down aud swallowed
whole story
lightning recently struck telegraph pole,
aud ran along tho wire into the Office at Coats
ylle, Ind, when the operator, seated at the In
ytrunaentt. ex;eitod'y 81 tolosraphod back: "pont
in letter to friend, d Springfield young
lady states Tint sle is not engaged, but she secs
cloud shove the horizon about as large aa q
mans hand.
"a farmer gives this bit Of advice, which con-
tains good hint: IF you want the boys to
tho boy ia turning tho grindstone."
a clergyman in Columbus, r., has put
Iyndall make note of 1t. On recent Sunday
evening tho parson saw young man and woman
under tho gallery in the act of kissing
each other behind 1lyms-book. Now what did
lo do 7 Flo did nat storm about the pulpit, nor
did he call on deacon to intervene. Ho pre-
sor'ed all unfuf1lod tranquility, aud, when the
oHculation for tho ffteonth time, tue par-
son broke OF his sermon, and offered this
fervent prayer: 80 Lord, blogs and onlghton
the young man in tho pink neckte and the
| maidon in the blue bonnet and gray shawl, who
aro pr0faning the sanctuary by kissing each
other in Pe% NJ. NJ g." And tho CONGREGATION
denly pulled her vol down, apil tho young man
i!!andibly repeated the beatitudos, or Homething
appointed,to convey = Lesson to the couple who
believed IN ohurohly courtship. aud it did It
eGfectiyely.-0ouen Age.