, 1873-06-01
SOME NU!SANCES.
row Matutinal Slumbers Are
Deranged.
street-Calls, Door-Bells, and
Other Miseries.
An Appeal to Mechanical Genius
to Devise a Remedy.

Ao Anneal fo Mechanical Genius
'' 'f nJ..
~ 1os'o0 q '>o'''ooJ'
.
With the most serene eelf-satisfaction ne ee-
.ort he especial civilization Of our age, point to
n1,r 1nxur;es. ennnerate the variety and yalue
=, mr. nossessions and with it a1l. are vict1ms
to a number Of nuisances which make of the
6rst an idle boast. and tnke I'll the comfort ont
~ the latter. Particularly Objectionable among
thasa ara
srnrrr-oA1xs AND noon.Brr1s
rs-o, ao mt m n had xri+h Tho ch;rtara and
;.t +1o Ia -a,a f.r ,,o,,,, ,r,o i've y,
49, c;tv do either than ron arr n victim II
w. ho bouavar that vour avoc.+;on. ara ench
49, w., 80 o,1;aaa ~ aoal- ,o17r ,;1,o-v r,y
and ~ ~, .1se -;aa a. ho,,r 49, ~ .f+or tba
am ,,-1,s - -, .-,,,oa,aaoa +1a ,,or, oecona h
oa,+,;. ..-4..s4 .. -4:a.. - - ;ag;et;,,,
=, von ..s '4t.o1@e -. n,o.1;,,a ;or,,,1
.r,oi, :, = 49, ~ - 1,osr -. .stora1
tha tsa+aa ~. -, ~ ,.1, 49, ;nd;v;dna1-no
-nstta~ ho-r s s:.,.,,n1 ~ ~ o ~ 10 hv M
+,r.Nst;n daan - 49, ~ n;aht n rnnst he wake
0.A41. ooop ato 1ue n1sHs n1es -. ..o-,r
ano "olA' IN oroef That you n'ay u0'o "' 5o1
breakfast the last hurder BY way OF nots-
d'nrre the 1atest ec.nda1 in society for an entree
sz;.s~;s, e. z-or,, ,,;sca da raa;st-
-
ence, and Little 1oeAl news 1oI . compo,e 49, -
necessity must steal tom - 'ga11sh oay' II ne
san. those hours which hare been given up to-
ro;dni9bt labor. sleep. to rest his woarv brain
.I1~ 49, aa.;,, ~ w. .,.o-;da .,o1,r rnant.,
ana oon5' u11' 1ean no 10. P'o,.oo .,.-.s:.~
dejeuner- IN th1s Gay OF oeiauoeo c1'n'zauon'
WHAT IS TIE REsuLT2
The morning twilight is flushing with Joy at
rhe coming of Aurora- unlass tbey had q quarrel,
.se--r,.-,
ana 616 QaS 1e1t QGT E0OQ C1O+Qes 6OulEHuEIo
over in China, and wears dull, heavy, gray
garment, weeps copiously, and is generally dis.
agreeable. # all is serene. however, the birds
hau her advent With pleasant tvittesings, and a
concord OF sweet sounds " soothes the restless
pulse Of care" while, forgetting your "weak-
ness" your I" evil behavior" you sleep as peace-
r,11s. - 10 Ala and 7,,oao,;toea xrlI 1,arr;t-
1o'ls Is Tue uIss anu Moo4a W. peN ae1..
6"eetly rs toat metapnoHca1 n1auk ~ oastn
spoken Of. If your bar has sufficiently tine
mesh. eay about the consistency OF rather close
woven shirtinp: if it is Thoroughly fastened
: ~ .a-es -. -. .,,;a 80 ;aeoat. ~,
oo"n an Arounu' 81 tno unn, 1.,aA 1nHes.s eau
neither crawl through nor under; and II you
don't smother for lack OF fresh air, why, you
fancy no doubt that you are in the gardens Of
1orosarnjne. She who Is
a5ora +b,n '.ha d..ir. - +ha ,oo,zov
:. The reasons M that iaueh or weep:
For these give JOY and sorrow; a.
But thou, Proserptna, sleep.
c.,tad ,han +bot u, tba. conditions ara
.-o,,a-1v co,dnc;va and that von are Tecnnarat-
r. Innier the infnance Of The. balmy rgstorer
1TSarrantad ike natnnt-ned;cines. g Ia contain
Ssoth;n7 da1cfariors to the most de1icate consti-
1olmne heha go Il rr+hn1,t anT er1 "a
sr1,s 1b;1o small nort;on of Il ia of ;neatima-
r.. ba,aet ~ tha et1oncast man ~ ;s It mt an
nntrsre that snch blissfnl coudition Of Things
shon1d be disturbed7 The restorer is doing It's
has+ ~ T I'm ghan
"o'' u.pr777 4ov1,
~or.a, v,-, from ronr hlissfnl vision and the
-acnTer, IN - 1,-ocess and ynn sn-;nr m wildly
Imagining that it is the devil insisting upon
eta!a h.va a M. nat yet ante faded and you are be-
.oa1;,r- onnsr;ona that vonr annafal. II mot
e1actiT the q airy fabric Of = dream"
In hv no means that which you
rlsims the fact thst i is tic 7endero Of natutinal
h1.ratbst;ca; ta1 sS mix Ton liz down: You kpow
Xxi is bafore vou. For the next three hours
vonr e.rs vii be snluted by. that same hideous
21a 2na .rnnng manv and ron will onIv hear It
Tasr +i7nea IA he yanshes IN the distance. to be
sncceeded bv your next-door neighbor's milk
man then his who lives opposite; then your
own and 80 on until each family on tho block
haye receiYed the announcement, in as many
dscort7s IA there arc in the tue-whistles that
fheir }actaa1 f1rid awaits acceptance. You are
almost frantic, and, when your own especial pur-
veyor arrives, and in addition to that unearthly
PULLS TIE pAsEa1Exr 1,ova BELL -r1o1.u,rrzr,
and, Bridget having gone to wake, or we'd
ding the night before, from which she has not
vet neturned. your wife is forced to RISE and, in
the classic robes of ancient Greece, over which,
with lack Of appreciation Of the proper fitness
Of things, she throws an Arab burnous, and de-
scends to thrust through q crack in the door a
pitcher and dirty ticket, you groan, you say
eomethinp. and then she comes back, drops her
Arab mantle, and once more dove-eyed Peace
descendg upon you. For q quarter OF an hour
there has been neither howl nor ring, when sud-
denly and fnriously the bell is
rU1IEp. T1ENcuEu, AND TWISTED,
AZ If de1non In agony had tho knob between his
fingers. Again your wife rises, and you do not
yer1r eathetio taste would be shocked By that
compIjcated costume, as because you are
hfrafd vou ebau know you are awake !:
aLo