, 1873-06-17

ub ny LILO b'1sHe arguments tAAt Aou' tsul+1
,,scH to defend tho Inst ono.
THE FARMERS FOURTH OF JULY.
Tho t1dal wayo Of tho Farmers Movomont,
Which ID Just now eweoping ovor tho West, Inns
at last submerged tho Fourth Of July, American
onglo, hro-cyaol&orB stump orators. sky.rookota,
and ALL Tho adlross OF the Executive Commit
too, Hotting apart tho Fourth Of July for FREQ
discussion OF tho farmors' griovancos, tho aboli-
tion Of tho storeotypod oration, and tho roaang
Of tho Farmore' Declaration Of Independence
instead Of llr. JoGoraon's, has already boon
printed In our columns. Tic truly loyal
and highly patriotio citizon will DO disposed
to regard this innovation as littlo
lese than aaorllego. Tho stump orators
will mourn their lost opportunity to wrap thona-
aelvoh In tho American tlag and fight tho coun-
try'a battlea ovor again. Tho proud bird Of froc.
tommy Shrek. Tho vlllago elocutfonist will Pine
in secret that ho cannot hurl tho Declaration OF
Independence into tho facos and eyes of the
tyranta OF tho Old World. There will bo more,
hoHeyor, who will roloioo at tho prospect Of
euppreBsing what hna grown to DO public bore.
Wo aro not yet aware OF tho details Of tito
Farmers Fourth OF July, but wo presume "tho
day no celebrate will bo Of bucolio, rather
than patriotic, chnractor. Chnntlcloor lu Just aa
good bird as tho bald-headed eaglo, can
scream just as loud, md, In fact, nuke
more noiBc, because thoro is more Of him. In
stoad Of the intcrminablo and bombhstlc oration
We shall have tho farmors' talks, md these will
10 enjoyable, because tho farmers never talk
long. They aro men Of fow and p1ain words.
InBtoad Of the American flag, tho corn will wave
Thousand Hills. The farmors' boys will not layo
to go to tho largo cities and got sick on colorcd
lemonade md greasy ieo-oreanl. uaying
Fourth Of July Of thoir own, they will provide
tho grateful oldcr, sweet apples, doughnuts, md
other pastoral 1uxuries, Which do no harm.
Thoy can bring up their mowors and their
throBhors, their htskers md their corn-shcl1ors,
and have ali tho noise they want. The
Goddess Of Liberty always was fright, and tho
villago bollo will tako much moro comfort as
boon accustomed to havo as tho Goddess with a
star-spanglod potncoat and m ugly cap, not
adaptod to tho present style Of hair. There will
| DO something lnspiriting in the PROFESSIONS Of
| bronzed and brawny-armed farmers coming to-
gothor to consult upon their grievances, md to
hurl defiance ut locomotives aud freight tariffa.
They will return at night to thoir brond aoreB
moro refreahod for their work and moro hopeful
of their future harvosts than if they had gone to
tic county-soat to sot or tlre-oraekors and listen
to patriotic twaddle which hns been dishod out to
thom avory year Of their lives.
Tho farmors hayo done we'll to abolieh tho
various nuisances which cling to tho celebration
Of Fourth Of July. Willie we congratulate them,
no commserate the dwellers in citios. We
have no farmors no oranges, no Patrons Of
uusbandry. Pomona dwollB afar, anu ooios
could not abide the metropolitan smoke and
emolla In tho citioe, therefore, tic eagle will
still scream. Tho orator, deprived Of his rural
opportunity, will improve tie civic opportunity
to bis very utmost. Tho hro-crackor will blazo
| and tho aly-rocAct will sputtor. Houses
WILL pmA UP Ao45Go HAA LUZ
away. Small childron will got thclr flngers
| blown of, and young mon will got drunk. Tho
Goddess Of Liberty, fresh and smiling in tho
morning, will 60 to bed at night with disbcvolod
hair, dirty robes, and uncertain gait, used up.
tagged out, and diagustod. People will sock
their couchcs dispirited and dsgusted with tho
effort to recognize tho fact that this Is great
aud glorioua country, md thankful that they aro
| not obliged to be truly loyal for another year.
AL this misery the farmers, happy beings, will
oBcape. They will celebrate thoir own dny In
their own good way, md they will
not bo expected to provo their pat
riotism by touching of tho allotted
number Of blaohsmith'B anyils. or setting their
noiglbors' premises afro with Roman candies,
or getting drunk on bonzine whisky. Wo fancy
tho farmers will bo just about as patriotic ns II
they had done all tho abBurd things wo have
mentioned, and had stood in tho sun two OF
lhree hours listening to Thompson as lie
doscants upon tho advantages Of being an
| American citizen, and tho corresponding dis
advantages Of those unfortunate beings who had
tho bad luck to DO born under tho CALLING yoke
| of efIeto mouhrchies.
| -.-..-.-.-....-.@-
| HOT CORN,
II.