The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1873-10-17
oRIMPs AND MATRIMoNY.
ny eRaeE vHRNeE.

t.~ssr1 ssrl g By saAoR zy1zRSo2y.
Married people have always suspected
that a great mistake was made when olt
Bachelors and old maids werenot elected
to multiply and replenish the earth and
bring mp the children; and it is evident
that the world suffers quite as acuteIy
because the women mostly involved IN
matrimony are not unmarried ladies.
Every little while there cometh forth
one whose fansis in her hand, and who
thoroughly makes wives sea-sick with
her wise counsel, like apples of gold in
pictures of pot-metaL Just now it is
Gail Hamilton, holding forth like an
oracle on 'fOrimps'' in married life, as
if her own head, bristlings with slate
pencils and hedged about with hair-pins,
had nestled for a century on the soothing
front of a complacent night-shirt.
F. D Gail, answer What is the use of
making poroupines of ourselves for
crimps when frizzes can be bought for
eighty cents a yard? Hast thou not
seen,r and dost thou not know, that a
thing of beauty is a JOY so long as it is
beautiful ? and that man seeth his face
in a smoked glass and straightway
forgetteth what manner of man he is
How much more then, o ye of little
wit, shall he forget what manner of
"loyal, loving, brave, intelligent, sympa-
thetic'' woman she is, who cometh forth
as a sunfower every day, in all the
glory "wherewithal her fine arts have
embellished her." when during the
longer hours given to the :'cIose eommu-
Mon" of home and hearth, the '.pro-
cesses by which she goes forth conquer
ing and to conquer" convert her into
a miscellaneous muck-heap of bread
and-milk, wire, timber, tar, slate, glyc-
crime, egg, honey, asaf@tida, and
small parcels of every other conceivable
commodity that would be considered
necessary to start anew city on a frontier.
Can any degree of softness in a fair hand
''idealize'' out of a mans head the
pouIticed fists that have lain by his
side all night like a pair of pud-
ding bags 2 or ever so elaborate a smile
snuff out the impression of a face
smeared with things that are mys-
teliOus TO him, and a head more
formidable than nightmare with seven
teen horns crowned with a dismantled
Nay, verify and if the
woman who developes from such drag
on into a catastrophe that resembles a
"rag-bag overtaken by a hurricane
with face like hair dresser's dummy,
ani head like panic-seized old Dutch
broom is 't'fresh surprise to him every
morning" she is no less fresh terror
every night. .-...-.. --.
But this is wicked and perverse
and there are men, whether
in then. senses or out of their senses [ |
don't know, but apparently in the Datu-
raj state of the sex, who suffer things
that are not to bring to naught things /
that are, setting manufactured charms
before the ordinary natural grace of the /
female countenance, and preferring VIC /
men who are fearfully and wonderfully I
to the homemade article, I
however tender, true, devoted, and !
wise" Wherefore, o Gail, there are |
many among us pricked TO the heart, /
and they all cry out, What shall we do /
10 be saved? For surely no woman /
ever made herself beloved, or even rich
Or famous by experimenting the wash |
ing of pots and pulling down of cob |
webs, or even manipulating children;
for all these things do harden the palm /
andwrinkle the visage; which things are
not seemly among us. Neither do the /
NIsries who sit at the feet of the law |
givers and learn the cares of state and /
the deceitfulnessf fofpolitics reap aught
but spectacles and forlorn wisp of |
back hair. But it IS those who toll not, |
neither spin, but eclipse Solomon in his
glory who appropriate if not the better
part, at least the very softest spot in
this world, with the largest half of that |
piece which passeth all understanding, |
called mans heart.
Then why this pleasing hope, &C.,
this longing after utility? Let us lay
down the ballot and the broom, and /
grid on hood, and cauI, and wimple, and |
with paint-pot in one hand and curling
5ongs in the other, go forth to the taking /
Of the principalities and powers. Rather,
dove not know, thatinstead of "holding /
our own in spite of these little mechan- /
isms, every mothers daughter of us
would probably have to "hold some /
other woman's Gown" or rise superior
to the trash that men call love. and can
vas her own balloon? For after all !
these things DO the women seek whose
feet lay hold on he'll, but whose hands l
go for our husbands pockets. And in
this they have the advantage Of us : mo-
ments in which to snore unsuspected: {: /
hours Of seelusion from the masculine /
eye, when they may rejoice IN all the !
that contributes to those |
of person which constitute
their stock In trade, and without which |
they would suffer for provender.
Therefore, if in these things only we |
have hope, wives are Of al women
most miserable; seeing that they demor-
aIize us while they pander to that taste
in man which is already burden to us,
and make matrimony of no account. /
Let us then rise to the occasion and be- !
come both useful and ornamental; seek /
ing our lords interest while not neg
Iecting his pleasure; keeping our houses
in order with our own hands If neces- I
sary, protecting them with gloves and
avoiding pouItices which are unseemly: