Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-11-12
Miscellaneous.

He great american obituary pro-
voker" is the latest for kerosene.
DEFECT IN manners is usually the
deficiency Of finer perceptions
SON.
Two new steamers will be put on the
Cunard line next year, one of which
Will be the largest steamer afioat.
THREE captains in the Cunard service
have made over three hundred VOYAGES
across the Atlantic.
The net debt of the new city of Bos-
ton will be about $50, OOG when
consolidation takes place.
A CLERGYMAN removing from one CITY
to another, marked large box contain
ing his sermons, "Keep dry"
T. MAST is registered on the al
phabetical list of arrivals at Boston
as "Nast, T."
Writing about the "Sports of the
Maumee," a chap tells about how he
saw female horse-thief hung.
J. S. CLARKE, the American actor, is
still in London, playing his well-known
round of characters.
DIsRAELI is reported to be engaged
conn slnism will be discussed.
L ssE MUHLBAoH left a novel enti-
FED ''Von Koniggratz mach Chisel-
hurst in an unfinished state.
A VETERAN observer says that little
baby is an easy thing to love, but big
baby is hard thing to love, especially
If you have married her-or him.
JOHN RoEssLE, the oldest lager-beer
brewer in America, died recently in
Mas sachusetts, leaving fortune of
more than $1,0OO,00O
A CHICAGO druggist asked a woman
what she wanted of arsenic, and she
replied, g I want it for rats and my old
man." Her frankness stopped the sale.
TELEGRAPH postal cards are now is
sued by the English government. The
cards are deposited as letters, and col
lected hourly by carriers.
A CONTEMPORARY says that "Stray
leaves from soon-coming blossoms fut-
ter around in prophecy of weddings to
be-" Let 'em fut.
IT is solemn thing to be caught in
a large city, away from home, with
barely dollar in your pocket and no
poor relations near to help you spend it.
The heirs of the Trinity church prop
erty have increased by fifty in two
years, so that there is no hope of the
case dying out.
A PRACTICAL argument 6 Maria,
have you given these fishes any fresh
water 2" "No, sir what's the use
They haven't drank up what's in there
yet"
FLAX culture is said to be largely on
the increase in the northwest, but the
crop is mostly grown for seed, there
being no means of manufacturing the
fibre.
STOKES, as he watches his trial
scrupulously attired and with his curly
hair cut short, appears in much better
health than at any time since his first
appearance in court.
A LITTLE girl was asked what was the
meaning Of the word happy. She gave
pretty answer, saying, cit is to feel
as if you wanted to give all your things
to your little sister,"
A NEBRASKA man, on his dying bed,
remembered that his wife was smoking
some hams, and he said, "Now, Mari
eta, don't go to snufing around, and
forget them hams"
The proprietor of young ladies
academy in Illinois has utterly ruined
his business by causing to be inserted
IN large number Of papers a picture
Of the building, with two girls standing
on the balcony with last years hats on
their heads.
"DoEs your arm pain you?" asked
"a lady of gentleman, who in mixed
assembly had thrown his arm across
the bac of her chair and touched her
neck. mo, Miss, it don't; but why
do you ask 2" noticed that it was out
Of place, sir, that's all
C WHEN was at home I was one of
the pillars Of the Church, but here in
Paris [ can hardly be regarded as
brick. was the remark of an American
lady when discussing the tendency to
almost wholly disregard the Sabbath
in France.
MISS s'Taint no use pro
posin' marriage to me. Mr.. Smithers
When gals as rish'n as pooty as I be-
faint likely she's going to take an
Amerikin, when she kin go to Europe
an git a Principally, or at least a
German Barony or French County
or husband.
CATCHING A TARTAR you don't
care about donkey riding, missy. And
why?" 80, TIE got pony. and one
doesn't care about donkeys after that,
you know" "Has a pony got more,
legs than donkey, them" Missy,
(who doesn't like to be chafed) -
eyes; exactly ts0ice as many as some
donkeys that [ know of.
The other day, at concert, a gen
tlenan having put his hat upon a chair
to keep place, returned to claim it
after short absence. the hat was
found, sure enough, where it had
been eft, only there was stout lady
sitting on it. Madam" said he,
"you are sitting on my hat" The
lady blushed little, turned round,
and said III the blandest manner. ooh,
I beg pardon I'm sure [ thought it
was my husbands p