davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Death of the First-bOrn.

This beautiful extract from DIR
Hollands new book, "Arthur Bonni
CASTLE" will be read with deep and
tender interest by many whose ex-
perience it truthfully portrays;
"I stand in q darkened room before
little casket that holds the silent
form of my first born. My arm is
around the wife and the mother, who
weeps over the lost treasure, and can
not, till tears have their way, be COM
forted. 1 had not thought that my
child could die-that n'y child could
die. 1 knew that other children had
died, but I felt safe We lay the lit
tie fellow close by his grand father
at last; we strew his grave with flow
ers, and then return to our sadden-
ed home with hearts united in sorrow
as they had never been united in JOY,
and with sympathies forever opened
toward all who are called to a kindred
grief. / wonder where he is to-day,
in what mature angelhood he stands,
how he will look when I meet him,
how he will make himself known to
me,who has been his teacher! He was
like me; will his grandfather know
him? I never can cease thinking of
him as cared for and led by the same
hand to which my own youthful fin
gers clung, and as hearing from the
fond lips of my own father the story
of his eventful life. 1 feel how Won
derful has been the ministry of my
children-how much more I have
learned from them than they
ever learned from mellow by hold
ing my own strong life in sweet sub
ordination to their helplessness, they
have taught me patience, self-sacrifce,
self-control, truthfulness, faith, sim
plicity, and purity.
"Ah! this taking to ones arms a
little group of souls, fresh from the
hand of God, and living with them in
loving companionship through all
their stainless years, is, or ought to
be, like living in heaven, for of such
is the heavenly kingdom. To no one
of these am I more indebted, than to
the boy who went away from me be-
fore the world had touched him with
a stain. The key that shut him in
the tomb was the only key that could
unlock my heart, and let in among
its sympathies the world of sorrow
ing men and women who mourn
because their little ones are not.
"'The little graves-alas! how many
they are! The mourners above them,
how vast the multitude Brothers,
sisters, I am one with you, 1 trust
with you, I belong to you.-Those
waxen, folded hands; that still breast
so often pressed warm to our own;
those sleep-bound eyes which have
been so full of love and life; that
sweet, unmoving, alabaster face;-ahl
we have all looked upon them, and
they have made us one, and made us
better. There is no fountain which
the angel of healing troubles with his
restless and ife-giving wings so con-
stantly as the fountain of tears; and
only those too lame and bruised to
bathe, miss the blessed influence.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
An Oyster story,

This is an original story. Itoriginat-
ed with somebody years ago. 1t is
a highly interesting story, said never
to have been published before it ap-
peared in some newspapers many
years ago, and as it's exactly in sea
son, it will be relished by all lovers
of the delicious bivalve.
Scene-A steamboat rantry-Enter
Frenchman.
"Sair, you keep ze raw oystair?"
Steward Eyes, sir; fine fat Prince
Bay"
Frenchman-"Tres bien; I will eat
some raw oystair."
The steward opened fine raw one,
puts it on a plate before the French
man, who eyes it some time, then
says:
"Monsieur, you will call this good
oystair?'
Eyes, sir; prime"
The Frenchman swallows it, (the
first he ever ate) opens his eyes, and
puts his hands on his bread basket,
and 'tBl up" comes the oyster on the
plate.
"Sacramentum! by gar, zat is no
good oyster"
'You do not put on salt and pep
per, sir"
"Oh, pardon me" puts on salt and
pepper, and swallows it.
Obi upT up it comes again.
Now you tell me zat oystair
good?"
"Why, sir, you must use vinegar.
"Oh! oui certainment! be gar; oui,
and swallows the same again.
"Bl up!" and up again it comes
on the plate.
Just then a Bohemian enters.
"Give me a dozen raw"
The Frenchman turns to him:
"Ah! my friend, you eatze raw oys
tair?"
"Ofcourse."
'FYou call zat re raw oystair?"
eyes; fine fat one"
'Ha! hal tink zat is good oystair
suppose you eat him"
"With pleasure, sir" and the maj
of notes gave it a dash of pepper
sauce, and bolted it.
The terrified steward stood aghast
he don't mind saving Frenchman
but an old customer was anothe
thing.
The Frenchman turned on his heel
my friend, zat may be a gooc
oystair, but L don't like him-I swal.
low zat oystair three times"
''Bl up, and up came the oyster
and the Frenchman danced with de-
light.
"Ah! monsieur, bad oystair, oui Gel
tainment."
The reporter, speechless with hor
ror, ran to brandy decanter, swal
lows about half, and mizzled.
The Frenchman followed. remark
ing, STAT tam bad oystair."
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
The Way sTWas Done.

The following dialogue between a
highfalutin lawyer and a plain wit
ness is a good hit at the fashion of
using big, crooked words:
'.Did the defendant knock the
plaintiff down with malice pretence?'
"No, sir; he knocked him down
with fat-iron."
"You misunderstood me, my friend;
I wish to know whether he attacked
him with any intent?"
20, no, sir, it was outside of the
tent.
"No, no; I wish to know if it was
a preconcerted AFFAIR.""
"No, sir; it was not free concert
affair, it was at a circus"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

It takes a smart woman to be a
successful mother in-law. .
don't think, from what kan larn,
this IL a good year for mothers-in-
law, hear a good deal ov komplaint
about them.
There is only one way to suckeeed
in the mother-in-law Dizziness, and
that IL, dontrun after yure children,
but keep back, and let them hunt
for you.
Good mothers-in-law don't live much
nearer than fifteen miles ov their
children and alwus let the children
do the heft of visiting.-[ Josh Bill
ings.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A full set of false teeth were pick
ed up in q Fifth avenue stage the
other day by country member,
who offered the corpus deljeti to ev-
cry lady passenger in turn. They all
disavowed them, and one was so in
dignant that she could not be indue-
ed to open her rigid lips in response
to the inquiries of Rustieus. She
left the stage at the next crossing.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
When to Cry.

At mission Sunday-school, not long
since, little boy in the infant class was
seen crying bitterly. The teacher upon
inquiry, learned that he had lost mother,
and she said, no one knew what loss it was
until they had lost mother, and that John
ny had good cause for crying. At this
moment little urchin jumped up and said,
''Oh, teacher, you just wait till he gets a
then you'll hear him cry.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A German peddler sold a man a
liquid for the determination of bugs.
"And how do you use it?" inquired
the man, after he had bought it.
"Ketch the bug, un drop Won little
drop in his mouth" answered the
peddler.
'Pshaw!" exclaimed the purchaser,
81 could kill it in half the time by
stamping on it.
'Vell, calmly explained the Ger
man, 'dot is a good way, too"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Sir Fletcher Norton, who was
somewhat ill-mannered, when plead
ing before Lord Mansfield on some
question of memorial rights, CHANGED,
unfortunately, to say, ''My Lord, ]
can illustrate the point by an instance
in my own person; 1 myself have two
little manors." The Judge immed-
lately interposed with one of his
blandest smiles, "We all know it, Sin
Fletcher"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

An unstamped letter was deposit
ed in an Indiana postofice last week,
and underneath the address was the
endorsement, "Let her slide, Post
master, she's all hunk; inside air one
of them post-hole keerds."
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Probably the only man who Knows
anything about the provisions of A.
7. Stewards will is A. T. himself, but
correspondent says that in addition
to giving large sums for hospitals,
museums, and other things, he will
give his splendid mansion to the city
for an art gallery. He is seventy
eight, and never had any children.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

If was a minister, and had tew preach
the gospel tew mi people, whose religion,
nine-tenths of them, waz the result of their
fears, and who want willing tew Civ me but
four hundred and fifty dollars a year, (half
store pay, and the rest after harvest)
should resighn mi charge, and enter that
field az a missionary.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

"What is love, Nanny?" asked a
Scotch minister of one of his parish
oners, abiding of course, to the word
in its Scriptural sense. "Hoot, fye,
sir, answered the blate Nanny, blush
ing to tie een-holes, "dinna asked
me sic a daftlike question. I'm sure
ye ken as weel as me that lows Just
next to the cholera. Love is just the
worst inside complaint for a lad or
lassie to have"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A Western paper says that Lefty
Hough will never lecture any more
in public. She has made a perma-
nent engagement. His name is
Gregory. Lucy lectured last winter
on Popping the Question" telling
how it ought to be done. Gregory
did it. This illustrates the advan-
tages of the scientific education Of
women
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Select Miscellany.
how THE BABY CAME.

The Lady Moon came down last night
She did, you needn't doubt it
A lovely lady dressed in white;
III tell you all about it.
They hurricd Len and me to bed,
And Aun;y said, ''Now, maybe
That pretty moon up overhead
win bring US down a baby.
"You lie as quiet as can be;
Perhaps youth catch her peeping
Between the window-bars TO see
If all the folks are sleeping.
And then if both of you keep still,
And all the room is shady,
She'll float across the window-sin,
s bonnie moon-white lady.
Across the sill along the floor,
You'll see her shining brightly,
Until she comes to mothers door,
And then she'll vanish lightly.
But in the morning you will fiud,
If nothing happens, maybe,
She's left us something nice behind
A beautiful star-baby."
We didn't jusi believe her then,
For Aunty's always chatting;
The tales she tells to me and Len
Would make you die a-laughing.
And when she went ont pretty soon,
Len said, ffThats Aunty's humming;
There amt a bit of lady moon,
Nor any baby coming"
thought myself it was a fib,
And yet l wasn't certain;
So kept quiet in the crib,
And peeped behind the curtain.
didn't mean to sleep wink,
But, all without a warning,
dropped right off-and don't you think,
never walked till morningl
Then there was Aunty by my bed,
And when climbed to kiss her,
She laughed and said ''You sleepy-head,
You've got little sister!
What made you shut your eyes so soon?
I've half a mind to scold you
For down she came, that lady moon,
Exactly as told you'll"
And truly it was not joke,
In spite of Lens denying,
For Just the very time she spoke
We heard the baby crying.
The way we jumped and made a rush
For mothers room that minutei
But Aunty stopped us, crying, 'Hushl
Or else you shan't go in it."
And so We had TO tiptoe in,
And keep as awful quiet
As if it was mighty sin
To make bit of riot.
Bat there was baby, anyhow
The funniest little midget
just wish you could just peep in now,
And see her squirm and fidget.
Len says he don't believe it's true,
(He isn't such gaby)
The moon had anything to do
With bringing us that baby.
But ii seems to me it's very clear,
As clear as running water
Last night there was no baby here,
So something must have brought heri
MARY E. Bradley, in Christian Union.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Wishing to keep a souvenir of his
visit, an excursiCnist to Brighton,
who had meyer seen the sea before,
thought he would take home with
him bottlefull of sea-water While
he was in the act of filling the bottle
an old salt, who had been watching
him, asked:
"What are you up to-"
"Why, filling my bottle with salt
water, as you see.
"Well, you must only half fill it.
"Why?"
''Cos if you don't, when the tide
rises it'll be sure to overflow"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

garding every calling as honorable,
the labor of which is honorably per-
formed, and thus insure happiness
and prosperity to our offspring
Boston Journal of Chemistry.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

The Congregationalist has seen
this item in late invoice af fashion
able New York furniture. Elegant
ly upholstered kneeling benches
for the weary and heavy laden"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

JAMES JENKINS, said a schoolmaste1
to his pupil, "what is an average!
"A thing, sir" answered the scholar,
promptly, "that hens lay eggs on.
"Why do you say that, you silly boy?'
replied the pedagogue. Because,
sir," said the youth, 81 heard a gen
tleman say the other day as a hen
would lay, on an average, a hundred
and twenty eggs year.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A wag who thought to have joke
at the expense of an Irish provision
dealer, said, ''Can you supply me
with a yard of pork7" ':Pat, gave
this gentleman three pigs feet"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A Chinaman came down one of the
main streets of Millerton, Cal, on
election day, in state of inebriation
and of joyful exaltation, and thus de-
livered himself: "Hoop la! me all
sAme Mclean man. Hair cut short
and drunk like HI Hoop la"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A young poet once asked Douglass
Jerrold to pass candid criticism on
two of his productions. Jerrold
waited rather impatiently until his
tormenter had concluded reading the
first poem, and then quickly exclaim-
ed: 81 like your other poem the
best" '.But you have not heard it
read" "That is why 1 prefer it.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Flatterry IL very powerful stlmu-
liant, but its CRATE strength lays in
being delikately administered.
Thare IL some men who will take
it az they dew hasty puddin and milk,
Just gap, and swallow.
Honest aattery STAINS in the same
relashun tew just praze that interest
duz tew money.
Every man IL entitled tew the in
terest on hiz mummy, and seven per
cent. of fattery wont hurt any man
who IL honestly entitled tew the
principal.
Flattery alwuz makes wise man
humble and kerful, but it haz the
same effek on a phool that band Of
musk has on a plough boss, the fust
time he hears it.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

At juvenile party one little fellow,
in the splendor of his new
clothes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark: "You amt dress
ed as well as I am. swell, retorted
the other, 81 can lick you, anyhow"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

"Have you ever read the Ancient
Mariner asked the Rev. Mr.. Spurg
con one day of his congregation
81 dare say you thought it one OF the
strangest imaginations ever put to-
gether, especially that part where the
old mariner represents the corpses Of
all dead men rising up to man the
ship-dead men pulling the rope,
dead men steering; dead men spread
ing the sails. I thought what a
strange idea that was. But do you
know that have lived to see it done?
1 have gone into churches; 1 have
seen a dead man in the pulpit; dead
man as deacon; a dead man hand
ling the plate; and dead men sitting
TO listen.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
ProbIem-An ANSWER Reouested.

1LOOAOA an hho"CA A1OAuOSSON'
There were fifteen travellers who halted at pub
lie house, and called for dinner. 1t was served up
and placed upon three cornered table, five sitting
on each side. They invited the landlord to dine
with them. After they had finished their meal,
they proposed to count, commencing at some one
and count five, and who ever counted five was to
leave the table, or in other words, every fifth man
to step out. They further agreed that the last
man left was to pay the bill. They counted as
to have it fall upon the landlord. Now, what seat
did the man occupy who started the count?
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Husband who had been out West
on business, and left his wife some
blink checks "Mary, I find that you
have considerably overdrawn at the
bank" Mary Nonsense, John,
how can that be? I've two of those
blank checks left yet"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

An aged Highland divine having
occasionally to avail himself Of pro-
bationers, young man, very vain OF
his accomplishments as preacher,
oficiated, and on descending from
the pulpit, was met by the gentleman
with extended hands. Expecting
high praise, he said, "No compli-
ments, 1 pray" "Na, ma, ma, my
young friend" said the minister
nowadays Tn glad o'ony body!"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

The reputation of a man is like his
shadow-it sometimes follows and
sometimes precedes him; it is some
times longer and sometimes shorter,
than his natural size.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A Daeotah Sheriff attached a show
the other day, and while tacking up
"sale notice" on the elephants
hind quarters, which the official took
for a small barn, the animal swung
his tail around. There were eight
hacks at the funeral.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

'Grandma, why don't you keep a
servant any longer?" 'Well, you see,
child, I'm getting old now, and can't
take care of one as 1 used to, you
know"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

MIR. EDIToR:-Answer to 'E;nalc's" Enigma in
News of Nov. z1th, is the River Euphrates. An
swer to 24O's Problem in News of Nov. 9th is.
Thomass share would be lO25, james share would
be 81. W. SCOTT HOLMES.
Hillsboro, o. Nov. 27, 1873.
Sarah Brown, Buford, also sent the correct an
sver to "Einalc's" Enigma
Enigma by "Haras" is accepted, and will appear
SOCn
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A farmer in Augusta, Ga, lately
discovered that his dog was In the
habit Of milking a fine cow for his
own benefit.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Crossword Enigma.

Ny first is Jane, but not in Sue,
My second is in brown, but not in blue,
My third is in high, but not in low,
My fourth is in rain, also in snow,
My fifth is in two, but not in four,
Ny sixth is in roof, and also in floor,
My seventh is in orchard, but not in fruit,
My eighth is in pants, but not in boots,
My whole forms the name of my son-in-law.
Mowrytown, o. FUNK.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Mary E. Bradley, in Chrii
A SECRET.

'Tis not in seeking,
'Tis not in endless striving,
The quest is found:-
Be still and listen;
Be still and drink the quiet
OF all around.
Not for our crying,
Not for our loud beseeching,
viii peace draw near:-
Rest with palms folded; o.
Rest with eyelids fallen
LOi peace is here.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

"Talk about the jaws OF DEATH
exclaimed a henpecked husband,
.they are no circumstance compared
to the jaws of life"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Enigma.

My first is in you, but not in me,
My second is in latch, but not ia key,
My third is in cold, but not in heat,
My fourth is in hands, but not in feet,
Ny fifth is in thirst, but not in slake,
My whole is often to be seen on a lake.
Hillsboro, o. j. S. Il
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11
Bill Heads and Statements.

Every Business man should use neatly printed
Bill Heads and Statements. We can furnish them
nearly as cheap as yon can buy the blank paper.
$3.50.
All other Printing in proportion, at the
sepl6tf NEWS OFFICE.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Answer to Enigma in last weeks News. so for
a thousand tongues"
Answer to Decapitations in last weeks News.
Chat-Hat-At.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

The young man who boasted that
be could marry any girl he pleased,
found that he couldn't please any.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

There is nothing ''goes against the
Drain" more than mill stones.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Who finds peace in his home is happiest,
be be king or peasant.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

The oxidizied buckle mania is sub
siding.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

One who can always get bread
when he kneads it-A baker.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A rising mana lamplighter.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

A legal tender-A lawyer minding
his baby.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

Men of disadvantages.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-12-11

c. b. MILLER,
ATE of the firm of Amen, Miller & Co., will
q continue the Retail Grocery and Produce trade,
ut the old stand on High street, opposite the Court
House. where he viii Keep large and complete as
sortiaent of Fresh Family Groceries, at prices as
low as they can be bought in this market.
Also-Family Produce of all kinds such as But
ter, Eggs, Dried Fruit, Poultry, &C. *
Cash paid for Produce of all kinds
Hilsbaro, Feb 6. 1873. fsb6u