Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
OLD PROPS.
Proposed improvements I'm His
Weather Reports.


From the Detroit Free Press
There is certain stiffness and form
atty about Old Probabilities reports
which common people would like to SCI
changed Tor something more frank and
open hearted. The whole thing could
be- made more cheerful reading and
more interesting to the young If Some
newspaper man had the weather to take
care OF. For instance, where the re-
port now reads, s'for the northwest,
rising barometer, with cold northerly
winds, a right-minded journalist would
say: Folks In Wisconsin and Mime
sofa will get up and git tomorrow; it
will be cold enough to freeze the hair
on hitching post. Just year ago
tomorrow the dublin Boy and the
San Francisco Babe had set-to near
New Orleans, and Dublin won; it is
also the second anniversary of the Wa
tertown Bank robbery, where the nice
thieves carried off 100000 and were
allowed to keep $4,000 for their hon
esty In restoring the balance. Honesty
is the best policy; look out for cold
winds. An honest mans the noblest
work of God, and a snow storm is prob
able" .
The present weather man says: ''For
Saturday, in the Gulf States, south and
east winds, rising temperature, threat
ening weather and occasional rains
Now, that ahotld read: Don't count
On going to circuses and picnies Satur-
day; the umbrella market will be firm
and .buoyant, and the mud knee deep.
Better stay at home and sew carpet
rags, and get the buttons on your hus-
bands Sunday shirt Occasional rains
may be expected tomorrow, and the
New York detectives will probably
catch another Nathan murderer -
When the weather man says: ''For
the South Atlantic States, increasing
southeasterly winds, with cloudy
weather, clearing away by Saturday
night" it should read: Splendid
weather for going after persimmons
down South; don't draw your shot gun
toward you by the muzzle; weather
little cloudy, but dads rich, and so
who cares; good day for setting out
grave-stones. Use Fargo's Liver Pills
for sick headache; no respectable fami-
ly should be without it. A year ago or
thereabout, Senator Pomeroy gave SEN
ator York $1,000, and never Jump on
to the front platform of street car.
Weather Will clear up by Saturday
night, and it win be a good night for
going to the lodge If your wife
doesn't believe yor went there tell her
to smell Of your BREATH
Then where Probabilities says, "For
the Middle and Eastern States south
west winds, with partly cloudy wealth
er, )" it ought to read, mot a good day
fer taking photographs east of Michi-
gan. Some clouds loafing around, and
good weather for stealing overcoats.
About time to get boots for your boys;
leave the pegs in, and the boys will pres
fer to go barefoot for a while yet.
like economy, and don't wear
white pants when you go to buckle
berrying. Good day for New England
to make shirts at fifty |
cents per dozen. Southwest winds to
be expected; don't fly your kites
90 high. About this time last
year New York County Treasurer ac-
znowledged himself defaulter to the
amount of $4,000; compromised for
$4,000, and the Treasurer commenced
fine house. Don't lend mon
y to strangers, and do unto others as
7ou get a chance. May rain tomorrow
hight, and spelling schools and candy
bulls are only month distant. Be
lind to your sisters, and look out for a
harp FROST