The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-09-04
Writing a Letter.

The family letter. says the Danbury
NetOs, is written on Sundays. The
reason that dav is selected is not alone
because of the leisure it presents. The
quiet of the day, its relief from all in
h1ences that irritate or agltate, trees
the mind from irrelevant add antagon-
istic matter, and makes 1T pre- e-eminently
a fit occasion for communing with dis
tant loved ones. In nine cases out OF
ten the letter is written by the head of
the family, and of those sent an equal
proportion are addressed to his wifes
folks. We don't know why it is that
o man so rarely writes to his own folks,
but as it is not the province of this ar
tlcle to treat on that subject, we will
pretend we don't care. The hour being
selected for ineiting the letter, the first
thing is to find the paper. There is
always drawer in every well regulated
family for keeping such things. 1t is
either in the table or stand. Here the
writing paper, and odd screws, and fid-
strings, and broken locks, and fish
lines, and grocery receipts are kept
There may be other things, but if there
are, he will see them. The sheet of
paper is finally found, the fly stains
neatly scraped off, and the search COM
mences for the ink and pen. The for
mer is invariably found on the mantle
next to the clock, and is Immediately
laid on the table convenient to the per-
spring man, who sarcastically inquiries
if the letter is to be written to-day or
next Sunday. This inspires the wife
with new zeal in the search. She goes
over the drawer again because she
knows he wouldn't see anything if it
was right under his nose, but the pen
is not there. Then she looks over the
top of the bureau, and lifts everything
on the front room table, and says it
seems so singular it can't be found,
when she saw it only the day before,
and thought about the letter. Then
she goes into the pantry, and after ex-
ploring the lower shelf in vain, stands
upon chair and carefully goes over the
top shelf where the medicine bottles
and unused cans are stationed. After
she has done this, she starts up. stairs,
and pretty soon returns with the pen,
and takes it to the sink to wash the
grease from it, but does not succeed in
quite effacing that delicate scent OF
bergamot. This leads him to observe
that anybody who would take a pen
holder to lift hair grease from bottle
is too pure and innocent for this
world.
Everything now in readiness, good
humor is restored, the wife takes seat
opposite with her elbows on the table,
and her chin in her hands, and assumes
an expression of countenance that is
mysteriously calculated to both encour
age and depress the writer; and he
grasps the pen tightly between his fin
gers, and stares at the paper with al
intensity that is entirely unnecessary
The date line starts off glibly, and ther
suddenly ceases as it reaches the date
itself. Heputs the holder in his mouth
and Immediately spits it out again
making a face that is in no wise sug
gestive of bergamot; and pettishly ask
her if she knows the day of the month
Of course she does. 1t is the 13th-o
it is the-but not must be. Sh
hesitates, stares at him, wavers, and i
lost. She don't know whether it is th
18th or 18th, but the almanac will tell
and she at once starts to hunt it up
This occasions delay of some fifteel
minutes, during which he makes ninety
five passes at one fly. The date hav
ing been satisfactorily settled upon
and the things which rolled over tn
floor, as that stand drawer unexpected,
fell out, having been restored to thei
place, the date line is completed, an,
"Dear mother" started. The pen is
home pen, of bashful mould, an
whenever it starts line it require
half dozen passes to make it give down
All home pens do this. And all hom
sheets of paper have weak spots whicI
the ink refuses to cross, thus creating
some remarkable divisions of word
and considerable confusion among ser
tences. Some of these spots are tw
inches in diameter, and anybody in til
next room can tell the moment tn
writer comes to them, just as well as
he was looking over his shoulder
When the letter is completed, whic
generally occurs at the fifth hour fro,
the commencement, it is carefully rea
over and supplied with absent words
and then gone over again and artist
cally touched up with the pen {
the bare places. Then it is folded u
ready for the envelope, and the disco7
cry is made that there is no envelope
the house, and the letter is tucked j
behind the clock until the want is SUI
piled.