Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-09-27
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

TIE trotting mares Goldsmith Maid and
Lucy make their journeys In their own
private stable car, which is elegantly and
extensively fitted up.
A CORRESPONDENT of the New York
Mail says that " kissing a lady with an
Elizabethan ruff on is about as much fun
as embracing circular saw in full mo-
tion."
AT Virginia City, Montana, wheat is
selling at fifty cents bushel. Cattle are
being driven by the thousand to Nevada
and Utah, there being absolutely no home
market.
PRoF. HAYDEN, In charge of the Colo
RADIO Exploring expedition, has already
collected and forwarded to Washington
TWO hundred and twenty-seven different
varieties of North American grasshop-
pers.
An English reviewer says there is more
poetry written now in one year than was
written during the whole of the eighteenth
century, and dyspepsia has increased in
the same proportion.
A DELAWARE man purchased his coffin,
made his will, dug his grave in the field,
put on clean shirt, and then Law down
on a railroad track and was duly and
promptly cut in four pieces.
AN old lady named Hancock, at Chico
pee Falls, Mass, has lain on one side for
nve years. The physicians say that.any
Gnange OF position would cause her death.
her dtsease Is water around the heart.
HE best brands of -four are now sold
IN the Walla Walla market at the rate OF
S5per barrel. This is the wholesale rate.
AT retail, the price is 81 each for fifty
pound sacks. No town in the world can
boast of cheaper living.
AFTER keeping company with man
nine years, Chicago woman limited that
they had better get married, but the man
replled that they would have to wait until
MS wife died. The woman has gone TO
the courts to see about it.
A YOUNG man who was married lately
In Cumberland, Md, first aggravated the
officiating minister, by presenting hin
with marriage fee of eighty-ive cents,
and then capped the climax by returning
after ne had walked away few steps and
borrowed seventy-five cents of that, on
tne ground that he was "a little short
just then"-leaving the clergyman ten
cents for his fee.
The great event in fashionable circles
at White Cloud last week was the nup-
ualsof Mr.. Patrick Mcclure and the Indian
Princess Camanche Pubelena Susan,
daughter of White Cloud, the renowned
chief. The bride was tastefully attired in
q faded calico gown and pair of number
eight m0ccasins, beaded, while the groom
honored the occasion by wearing the cos.
tune In which he had so often distin-
guished himself on the gravel train.
A SAN Francisco milliner hit upon a
novel expedient to advertise her store.
She had among her assistants one re-
markably handsome young woman, and
having attired this young damsel in the
choicest garments of the establishment,
placed her in the window of the store.
The girl stood in half-reclining attitude,
perfectly still, and very soon an immense
crowd OF people had assembled to see the
soon grew to perfect mob, quite block
ing the street until the curtains were
lowered and the living model relieved
from her position.
A PENNSYLVANIA paper furnishes an
account Of "a model conductor" on the
Pennsylvania Railroad, but does not give
him any name. The account, in fact, Is
almost too good to be true. As pub.
ished, the man has been engaged, with
scarcely an intermission, for over fifteen
years in his responsible business. During
that time he has Travelled over 200, 00C
miles, has carried many millions of pas
sengers-the number last wear was $780,
6OO-has turned over to his EMPLOYERS
the sum of $4,000, 900, has never lost a
package, and-what may seem incredible
during all that period has never killed a
man.
A CURIOUS battle took place, recently,
at REMAIN, N. H., between hen and a
snake which wanted to dine off some OF
the young chicks. The matronly hen
made loud cutlery, and, at the approach
ofthe reptile, flew at it with ruffied feathers
and threatening beak, which its adversary
evaded as best it could, but finally, after
repeated efforts to secure chicken and as
/. many rebuffs by the hen, it crawled into
avail, and the frightened and enraged
bird clucked retreat and got away with.
out the loss OF single member of her
family.
The strong figure of speech with which
Corney illustrated the great size OF
Ameriky has also hit at the Scotch which
they will relish as well as they do punch.
Where did baccy come from ?" inquired
"hy, iiou hCiihys WhCie
else" replied Corney, {" that sent us the
first petaty. Long life to it for both, says
Ip What sort of place is that,
wonderr' "'Meriky! They tell me it's
mighty stable, Mol. darlin'. I'm told
that you might roll England through il
an 1t would hardly make dint in the
ground. There's a fresh-water ocean in.
side OF it that you might dhrown Ireland
In, and save Father Mathew wonderful
sight Of trouble; an as for Scotland, you
might stick it in corner of one of theil
forests, an you'd never be able to find il
except It might be by the smell of the
whisky!"
II young man cannot pay his board
bill, and has no reasonable prospect OF
being able to pay it, we are Inclined to
think it his Christian duty to abscond
He need not, however, add insult to injury
like the youth who lately left his bed and
board in Rutland, VT, without paying
for either. This wretch had not been
long gone when his defrauded landlady
received the following exasperating billet:
"Miss A.-Please do not worry about
me. Again 1 enjoy the comforts of q
home. My present hash-maker improves