Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-26
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

WHY are all shop-keepers hosiers? Be
cause they keep stock-in trade.
IPyOa want to know whether a tree Is
hollow or not, ak it.
HUSBANDS will soon be bamboozled fol
banboo-dress money.
EDGARTowN, Mass, enjoyed a snow
storm on the Sd of June.
WOMEN and Chinese figure among the
clerks OF the Bank of California.
AFINE of S. is imposed for a failure TO
commit suicide ir Chicago.
WHY is as lovers heart like a whale !
because it is a secreter (sea creatur') OF
great signs.
GAN son be said to take after his
1ather when the father leaves nothing to
take?
ALWAYS examine an old plug hat be-
fore you kick it, or it may cost you an am
putsted toe.
ALL things are systematized nova
days. Even every milk-train has its cow
catcher.
PAXTON, Ill, has new paper called
the Gimtet, which is going to try to bore
its way to success.
Music by brass band is announced as
sunday attraction in one of the church.
es at Newport.
Music is thrown in at nearly all the ice
cream gardens now, for in almost every
IaOie party there is quartet.
BRIDGET MALoNY: "Mother Mummy.
will you have an onion?" Mother Muir,
ply: "No, ma'am, thank We; don't
care for fruit"
The Warsaw IsraeLite tells a story of
piercing shrieks issuing from piece of
beef which cook was cutting into
steaks.
Why is lover popping the question
like a tailor running a hot iron over suit
OF clothes? Because he is pressing a
suit.
AND this is how Kentucky girl accosts
her acquaintance well, how are
you? Who do you love? and what do you
know?"
"OMEGA" is the name given to the six
teenth child lately born to a citizen of
Kentucky, in the hope that it will prove
the last.
A sEMI-wEEKLY paper called the Nuhc,o
in Honolulu. has suspended publication
probably because the publisher never
knew how to manage it.
WHEN Phoebe Cary was asked what
gatherings, she replied: 4" We drink Held
sick. but we keep Mumm."
SOMEBODY wants to know if a clergy
man with collection of minerals and
fossils can properly be called cabinet
minister.
THE women of Wisconsin town have
organized TO prosecute the men who leave
their teams standing on the street eros
sings.
A NEW HAVEN genius has invented
street-hoeing machine with which one
man can clean mile of pavement a day.
MANY young ladies are going through
series OF calisthenic exercises in order to
give their wrists strength necessary to
weld the monster Trianon fans now fash !
iOnable.
1.-THE Gorgon coil' is the very disa- |
greeable name given to new article fur |
nished by an artist in hair for the female |
head. Doubtless it will be Medusa bv |
many an unthinking damsel.
SANDWICH, N. H., still retains. in the /
midst of luxuriant foliage and blooming |
honeysuckles, snow-drift so deep it de, |
mes actual measurement, and they can |
only conjecture" about half of it.
You've man spare that hustle
Touch not single "pape;''
The woman's had tussle
To get herself in shape.
pretty bad under foot" said one cit
zen TO another, as they met in the street.
es but it's fine overhead" responded
Lhe other. True enough" said the
way"
A wRETcHED old butcher-knife, rusty
and jagged at the edge, is displayed in a
H0UArU w xxyifh m 1at~ t. 1
This scalping-knife was the property
OF Boston Charley and was used in the
Modoc war;"
a LITTLE boy in Dover refusing to take
a pill, his mother placed it in a preserved
pear and gave it to him. In a fsw min
ufes she said: " Tom. have you eaten the
pearT' He said, "Yes, mother, all but
the sced.''
CHIP was ended for jamming his watch,
MS father remarking that he could carry
watch for years without indenting it.
es, but when boy carries one," re.
pied the youngster, I" it alters the case"
AN Atlanta physician advises patients
who in these cholera times feel upside
DOWN" TO rectify that condition by stand
ing on their heads for minute at a time
thrice day. Which is a simple way to
~ VIGIL uiihOuitys
THERE Is something in dreams, after
all. A Western man dreamed that his
brothers head was cut off without losing
: drop Of blood, and the next day he
learned that his brother had been removed ;
from Postmastership.
TRUE wisdom is thing very extraordi.
nary. Happy are they that have it; and
next to them, not those many that think 8
they have it, but those few that are sem l
'ible of their own defects and imperfec- I
ions, and know that they have it not
AMULETs, as averters of evil, are COM :
ng into vogue among women of fashion l
N New York. Many of these knicSnacks,
such as petrified toads, rattlesnake rat
lies, gilt or bronze, owls claws, ETC., are :
furnished by Bohemian sorceress living !
IN the West Side, who warrants their in
iallibility. ~
d, RELIGION is the final center of repose :
me goal to which all things tend apart !
rom which man Is a shadow, his very
existence riddle. and the stunendons |