davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-12-30

THEATRICAL j JoKEs. "A correspondent writes
from London as follows: 1t sometimes takes
very little to make an audience laugh, especial
y if the incident which amuses it occurs alb
rupty and proceeds from an unexpected quar-
ter. The uight Miss Edith Grey came out at
the Haymarket Theatre as Juliet, she was about
to pledge Romeo to poison, and was excaimiug
Il drink 10 thee p when soda bottle burst
wiha loud explosion in the gallery Juliet had
enough presence of mind not to heed the for
midable interruption, but the public went into
couvulsions The other night. at the Philhar;,
monte, two lightly clad Spanish dancers had
Just finished one of those more or less graceful
more or less disgraceful- personal exhibitions
which, addressed to TWO thousand spectators,
are not thought anything of, when gentleman
in the front row ofthe gallery (thsese Jokes al
ways proceed from the gaery) exclaimed, in a
charu,ingly bland voice, "rhank you as
though the display hal been intended for him
alone. The effect was irresistably drol; and the
Ioor dancers, who bad only kicked up their
heels 10 the way Of business like other dancers,
iustcad OF being applauded, must have fancied
they were being laughed at
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-12-30

Tlo WAGON MAKERsLWe have on hand
Il asupericr lot of GUM, ELM and OAK
HUBS which were made TO our order Of season.
ed tim ber These Hubs have been examined BY
competent judges and pronounced TO be cheaper
and better than any heretofore brought TO this
market. We invite an examination. Our stock
of Rims and Spokes are Of Eastern manu1ae-
ture, and are far more durable and better made
than w estern goods. Axles Springs, Enamel
Canvas, and other goods in the same line always
in store, and prices moderate. Call and see.
nov Id j. T. CREIGHTON s. SON.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

make them 60 the furthest and last the
longest if she appreciates the Importance
of system, order, tidiness, aud the quiet
management of children and servants, then
she knows how to maze little heaven of
her home-how to keep her husband from
the clubhouse and the wine cup. Such
family will be trained to social respecta-
billty, to business success, and to efficiency
and usefulness in whatever position may be
allotted to them.
1t is safe to say that not one girl in ten,
in our large towns and cities, enters into
married life. who learned to bake loaf of
bread, to purchase roast, to dust pant
ing. to sweep carpet, or to cut and make
her own dress. How much the perfect
knowledge of these things bear upon the
thrift, the comfort and the health of fami
lies, may be conjectured, but not calcuIat-
ed by figures. 1t would be ofimmeasura-
bic advantage to make a beginning by at
taching kitchen to girls school in the
nation and have lessons given daily in the
preparation of all ordinary articles OF food
and drink for the table to the best advan-
tage, with the result of large saving of
money, and increase of comfort and higher
health IN every family In the land.-HaU S
Journal
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

A New MoDE OF CoUNrERFE1r1Na,-A
teller OF one OF our banks, says a Boston
paper. Disco cred the other day very in
genIous mode resorted to by counterfeiters
to make profit by little manipulation
OF genuine bills. The plan is in this wise
lake, say, ten five dollar bills. Lay one
on the other quarter of an inch below
the top, something after paper bags.
When ey are all thus Deatly laid off a
knife is run through them, and, of course,
from the first bill quarter of an inch
Will be cut Oft, half inch from the second,
thr"e-quarters from the third, an inch
from the fourth, and so on to the tenth
bull, from the bottom of which there is
taken very small portion, nothing more
than the border. This bill is left as it is.
but to all the others the parts taken of
are neatly pasted on, aud the result is
that there will be eleven bulls, perfect.
except ia small reduction in the size of
each, Of course the operator makes FIVE
dollars In every ten. The amount taken
from each is SO small and the bills being
generally all of one kind, it is very diff
cult matter to detect them. The bill de-
tected by the teller referred to was bung-
l'ngly done-the top being part of an
Ohio bill, which the bottom was a part
OF Baltimore bill. The names of the
places are prominent, and consequently
bills on the same bank or place are pre-
ferred.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

seemed to us-than like men. Once in .
while, by some mischance, the cause OF
which we could not understand, the swim
mer was overwhelmed the great comber
overlook him; he was flung over aud over
like piece of wreck, but instantly dived,
and reappeared beyond the outside of the
wave, ready to take advantage Of the next.
A successful shot launched them quite high
and dry on the beach far beyond where we
stood to watch. Occasionally man would
stand erect apon his surf board, balancing
himself in the boiling water without any
apparent d ficulty
The surf-board play is one of the an-
cient sports of Hawaii. We were told
that few Of the younger generations are
capable of it, and that it is thought to re-
qnire great nerve and GOODNESS even among
these admirable swimmers, and to be not
without danger.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

PATS IDEA OF AhERICA.-The follow
ing strong figure of speech was used to
illustrate the great size of America to a
Pat who could not make up his mind about
emigrating:
Where did the baccy come from why
from Meriky. where else ? that sent US
the first petaty. Long life to it for both,
says | !"
What sort of place is that, l won
der 2"
So Merica! They tell me it's mighty
sizable. I'm tould that you might roll
Eogland through it, an it would hardly
make dnt in the ground. There's a
fresh water ocean inside of it that you
might dhrown Ireland in. an save Father
Matthew a wonderful sight of throuble !;
an as for Scotland, you might stick it in
a corner of one Of their forests an you
never be able to find it, except it might be
by the smell of the whisky"
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

SPORT IN THE SANDWICH IsLANDs.-Hilo
is one OF the very few PAGES on these isl :
ands where you can see a truly royal sport
the surf board. 1t requires a rough
day and heavy surf, but with a good day
1T is one of the finest sights in the world.
The surf board is a tough plank about
two feet wide and fron six to twenty feet
long, usually made of the breadfruit trees.
Armed with these, party of tall muscu
lar natives swim out to the first line of
breakers, and, watching their chance to
duck under this, make their way fnally,
by the help of their undertow, into the
smooth water far off beyond all the surf.
Here they bob up and down on the swell
like so many ducks, watching their oppor
tunity. What they seek is very high
swell, before which they place themselves,
lying or kneeling on the surf-board. The
great wave dashes onward, but as its bot.
tom strikes the ground, the top, unretard-
ed in its speed and force, breakes into a
huge comber, and directly before this the
surt-board swimmer is propelled with a
speed which we timed and found to exceed
forty miles per hour. In fact, he goes like
lightning, always just ahead of the break
er, and apparently down hill. propelled by
the vehement impulse of the rearing wave
behind him, yet seeming to have a speed
and motion of his own.
1t is very surprising sight to see three
or four men thus dashed for nearly a mile
toward the shore at the speed of an ex.
press train, every moment about to bt
overwhelmed by roaring breaker whose
white crest was reared high above ant
just behind them, but always escaping hil
engulfment and propelled before it. The
look, kneeingo or lying on their long surf
boats, more like some curious and swift
swimming 6sh-like dolphins racing, as i
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05
The following beautiful experiment, de.

The following beautiful experiment, de-
cribed by Prof. TyndalI, shows how mu-
sic may be transmitted by an ordinary
wooden rod. In room two floors be-
meath his lecture room there was a piano
upon which an artist was playing, but the
audience could not hear it. A rod of deal
with its lower end resting upon the sound
ingboard of the piano. extended upward
through the two floors, its upper end being
ex posed before the lecture-table. But
still no sound was heard. A violin was
then placed upon the end of the rod, which
was thrown into resonance by the ascend
ing thrills. and instantly the music of the
piano was given out in the lecture room.
A guitar and harp we're substituted for
the violin and with like result. The
vibrations Of the piano-strings were COM
munioated to the sounding-board, they
traversed the long rod, were reproduced
by the resonant bodies above. the air was
carved into waves. and the whole musical
composition was delivered to the listening
audience.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

of mine isn't very NICE" explained Rose.
I'm going to have it rebound one OF these
days. You see it's not new album at all,
nor school album but it's very valuable
to me-" Here she heaved sentimental
sigh. "All my friends have written in il"
she said.
The girls were qnite impressed by the
manner in which Rose said this. But,
when they turned over the pages of the
album, they we're even more impressed.
Rose had evidently been on intimate terms
with circle of Il ost distinguished persons.
Half the autographs in the book were from
gentlemen, and they were dated all over
the world.
"Just listen to this !" cried Louisa, and
she read,
Thou may'st forget me, but never, never shall
ALPHoNso OF CASTLE.
THE EscURIAJ.. April lst.
s. Who's he'?" asked circle of ave-
struck girls.
Didn't you ever hear of him? Young
est brother of the King of Spain" replied
Rose. carelessy.
"Oh. my and just hear this, exclaime d
Annie Sllsbie.
Ifyou ever deign to cast thought in my direc-
ton. Miss Rose, remember me always as
Thy devo ed servt0r
PoThMKIN MoNTMoRECY.
ST PETERSBURG, July 10th.
e" And this shrieked Alice White,
"They say love is a thorn, 1 saw it is a dart,
And yet L cannot tear thee from my heart.
ANTONIO, Count of Vallambrosa.
do you really and truly know a
Count p ask ed Bella, backing away from
Rose with eyes as big a saucers.
Know Antonio de Val4mbrosa [
should think | DID," replied Rose. "No-
body in this country knows him so well |
fancy"
'And he wrote that for you?"
"How else could it get into my book
goosey ?"
Thus was unanswerable and Rose was
installed from that time forward in the
minds of Bella and the rest as heroine
OF the first water. Katy, however, knew
better, and the first time she caught Rose
alone she attacked her on the subject.
"Now Rosy-Posy, confess. VINO wrote
all those absurd autograI his in your book p
absurd autographs! What can you
mean?"
All those Counts and things. No, it's
no use. You shan't wriggle away till you
tell me-"
"Oh, Antonio and dear Potemkin, do
you mean them ?,
Yes of course do"
L" And you really want to know"
yes"
And you will swear not to tell p"
YES"
Well, them bursting into a laugh
+" l wrote every one of them myself"
Did you really? When ?"
"Day before yesterday, thought Lilly
needed taking down, she was so set up
with her autographs of Wendell Phillips
and Mr.. Seward, so [ just set down and
wrote book full. 1t only took me hall
an hour. L meant to write some more in
fact, L had one all ready
al am dead pretty near:
Dayld's done Tor me tear"
GOLIATH OF GATH.
but was afraid even Bella wouldn't swal.
low that, SO | tore out the page. I'm
sorry [ did cow, for l really think the
geese would have believed it. Written
IN his last moments, you know, to oblge
an ancestor ofmy own" added Rose, in a
tone of explanation.
{" You monkey ~ cried Katy highly di.
verted. But she kept Roses counsel, and
daresay some of the Hrlsover girls be-
lleve in that wonderful album to this day.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

Things were affecting in Iowa City on
election night. The press man coralled
branerd of the Republican, the postmaster, :,
ana his partner, in a fire brigade saloon,
singing:
want to be granger,
And with the grangers stand
A horny-headed farmer,
With a hay-stack in my hand;
ana anon, his partner, nice young man I,
with good voice. joins in:
Beneath the tall tomato tree
I'll swing the gttering hoe
And smte the wild potato bug
AS he skips DER the snow.
hen the postmaster continued:
Pve bought myself Durham ram
And gray al1aca cow
A lock-stitch Usage orange hedge,
And patent leather plow.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

TEE BACK PAY AND TEE New SALARY
The matter of drawing the carrent salary
and vo ting for aud iakir the back salary
are as separate and distinct as black and
white. We may assume that the provision
for monthly payments in advance OF actual
service was a clever trick of the riDgmaster
TO confirm the action which be had perpetrat-
ed still the late Congress had perfect
right to increase the salaries OF the present
one, to make them payable weekly, monthly
or henever it saw ti6. The increased sal
airy is Justly and legally due the present
congressman, and they are not to blame tor
drawing it as it becomes due.
This action is not to be compared with the
other, except by those who have an interest
10 defending themselves by the cry, " You re
another - In the case of the back pay i,
,;onyressmen voted themselves FIVE thousand
dollars In addition to wnat they had agreed
to serve for Ii was as if confidential clerk
IN a mercantile house had Contracted to
serve for five thousand dollars per year, and
after ten years service, having the authority
80 to do, ordered the cashier to make up his
pay 10 81, 500 per annum, which would
amount to S25 900. In business affairs q
man of that character would have d ficulty
IN giving bonds for his appearance before
the Grand Jury. He would be, in. short, a
thief.
We should not for moment lose sight OF
the distinction between the two cases, nor
allow the " "grabbers 81 to confuse US BY the
cry ofss stop thief" when an honest Congress
man draws the pay which Is legally due him
The amount of the current salary and the
legality of drawing it are not questionable
but taking money for service which had al
ready been paid for according to contract il
downright robDery.-Nsw York ESen'ni
Post.
The late Napoleon LII. never had lively
adm ration for his relative Prince Napoleon
PARIS correspondents OF the Mancheste
Guardian says that once the Prince Imperial
Then not m ,re th IN SIX years old asked his
father, Nv nat is the difference between al
accident and a misfortune?' " II, replied
the Emperor, "your cousin fell into th'
Selne. that would be an accident; if an,
Que pulled him out, that would be mis-
fortune"
In place of the vino list on its bill of fare
a hotel at Springfield presented few day
ago . .. water list including well water
hot water, ooId water. Oonnesticut rive
} water. condensed steam, aqueduet water AM
Aeited Ice.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05
TRAINING GIRLS FOR HOUSEHOLD DUTIES.

TRAINING GIRLS FOR HOUSEHOLD DUTIES.
girls for household duties
ought to be considered as necessary as in
structing in writing and arithmetic, and
quite as universal. We are in our house
more than half our existence, and it is the
household surroundings which effect most
largely the happiness or misery Of domes-
tic life. If the wife knows how to keep
house," if she understands how to "set .
table; if she has learned how things ought
to be cooked, how beds should be made,
how carpets should be swept. how farni.
ture should be busted, how clothes should
be repaired, and turned and altered, and
renovated; if she knows how purchases
can be made to best advantage and under
stands the laying in Of provisions. how 70
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

After while-a busy brain
VIII rest from all its cares and pain.
Alter while-earth's rust will cease,
After while-a vanished face
An empty seat--a vacant place.
After a while-a man forgot
A crumbliDg gheadstone-unknown spot.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05
Before you marry,
BE sure you have home wherein to tarry,D

An American writing to the London
Crap &c says that the public school system
of New England is behind the time, leaving
untouched much that can he and 10 else.
where included in an ordinary school course.
and in particular failing to keep up tho
standard of education, both for the bows
who are to 60 into active life when they
leave school, and for those who expect to
90 to oollege.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

The celebrated African traveller. Sir Sam
uel w. Baker, aud his wife, have aocet ted
an invitation from the American Geoglapbi-
cal Society, of which Judge Daily is Presi.
dent, to visit this country, ,-aad are expected
to arrive here some time dul ,ng the summe,
months of 1874. In d private letter to Mr.
Alvan 5. Southworth General Secretary oil
the Society. Sir Samuel, after referring to the
Herald's African expedition, adds: " Now
that America has entered into friendly rival
ry witn the old country in African explora-
tlons hope to see the day when all geo.
graphical mysteries will be cleared by the
energy and perseverance Of the English
speaking races.
The Chicago Tribune is rather severe on
the balloonsts of the Graphic who are deter
mined to die tsat it may live, aud condemns
the Associated Press tor encouraging such
tomf1olsry. But in suggesting that the
Brooklyn balloon grounds and Connection
apple trees are not the proper places for Don
aldson to die, it does not tell us where that
votary OF science ought to breathe his lart.
There is, to be sure, a suggestion that he got
to the wrong canaan for his purpose, but # a
man can't have his choice OF burial grounds,
where IS the boasted freedom of our people.
There is smack of provincialism abou t
the names of the present political parties In
Chicago, VIZ" rhe Hessing- Hara party"
g the Grand Pacific Ho'el party . the
Sherman House party q" the White
massachusetts partly :" the Jussen- Gas
setts- Blakely party - the Sunday wlLe
and beer p .rty' Ii Chicago is not political
ly saved 1T will lot be tor lack OF parties.
One of the livelest ghosts of the season is
just now making Its presence known in Dunn
county, Wis. Not content with dismal stalk
ing and terrifying appearances it cuts of
children s hair, and, worse stlll recently ss
sumed the appearance of broadaxe and
chopped to pieces Bible. 1t is still at
work
The engineers on some OF the Pennsylve-
MIA railroads amuse themselves by carrying
same trout In the water-tanks of their loco
motives, where they are said TO flourish, spite
of the constant motion 10 which they are
subjected.
Miss Catharine Oates, Of Carnwall, Eng
land, was married in Tuolummc county, Cal j.,
on the 26th ulJ to her lover, whon sle had
not seen IN eight years, and whom she ira v
elied seven Thousand miles to meet
A wag, on being asked for an appropriate
inscription to a Founding Asylum, propos-
ed ; a Thus lar but no farther''
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

For one square Of l2 lines or less of Noapqrfh
type one insertion, 81 90; tor each subeequeA N.
sertion IS cents. Unless the number Of insegtS0As
are marked on the advertisement it will be contir
ued till ordered out. Liberal discount made to mex.
chants and others advertising by the year.
Probate and Comm. ssioners' Notices S2 90 eael.
For notices Of Liberauons, Estrays, the FormS.
ton and Dissolution of copartnerships, &C, 4lbO
each for thre insertions. III sent by Mail the
mon y must accompany the letter.
Notices in news columns, 10 cents per line casa
Insertion, but charge made of less tn n SO cents
Notices Of Deaths and Marriages inserted gratis,
bu, extenueu OBITUARY Notices Poetry viii be
charged at the rate Of i've cents per line.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

ABOUT MARRIAGEs.-If a helpless man
takes bel pless woman to help him in his
helplessness, we can give shrewd guess at
what the consequence will be. Ignorance
added to ignorance will lot make enight-
eminent, neither will the union of empty
hearts produce affection. In Arithmetic,
If nothing be added to nothing, the result
is nothing; but not so in marriage; if peo-
pie come together with empty minds and
hearts, they are sure to suffer uncomfort
able consequences. Some will ask i:
Wouldn't you, then, let people marry for
love I" 10 whom we answer, most GER
tainly we would. But it is with love as
with the coinage of the realm; there is
sterling metal and counterfeit There is
real love, and sham love. We cannot
doubt the fact, if we would, while we read
day after day, in the papers, of the brutal
assaults of husbands on their wives of the
wlfulness and extravaganza of wives, to
the detrlment or ruin of husbands, and
cruel treatment of children. The unhappy
victims once promised to Glove honor,
and obey" l: does not need coniurer to
tell that they had taken no pains to dis
crlm'nate between genuine love and coun.
terfeit.
Before you marry,
Be sure you have home wherein to tarry,"
is proverb that ought to be thought of on
such occasions. Do not marry too young !;
if you do, your children will most likely be
puny and peevish; a weariness to you, a
misery to themselves; ; and do not marry
until you have little money, and the
prospect OF earning your bread by steady
work.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1873-11-05

" God of Peace, whose Spirit hlls
All the echo of our hills
All the II urmur of our rIlls,
Now the storm is o'er,
OH let freedom be our sons,
And let future Washln tons
Rise To lead their vslIant ones,
'fTill " ar's no more"