The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-07-17
CoRNEbIA BLIMBER.
''Securing the Shadow ere the Substance
FadeS.D

Having s. photograph taken is one of the
great events in a mans life. The chief desire
is to look the very best, and on the success OF
the picture hinges in many cases the most i'm
portant epoch in life. To work up proper
appearance cine enough is used which, If de-
voted to catching feas for their PHOSPHORUS,
would cancel the entire national debt and es-
tablish New York daily paper. When you
have completed your toilet you go the gallery
and force yourself into nonchalence OF ex-
preston that is too absurd for anything. Then
vou take the chair, spread your legs gracefully,
appropriate calm and Indifferent look, and
commence 10 perspire. An attenuated man,
with pale lace, long hair and soiled nose
now comes out of cavern, and adjusts the
camera Then he gets back of you, and tells
you 10 sit back as far as you can in the chair,
and that it has been remarkably backward
spring. After getting You back till your spine
interferes with the chair itself, he shoyes your
head into a pair of ice-tongs, and dashes at the
camera agaii. Here, with piece of discolored
manner: 'Your chin out little, please"
The chin is protruded. ''Thats nicely; now
little more" The chin advances again. and
the pomade commences to melt, and start for
freedom. Then he comes back to you and
slaps one of your hands on your leg in such q
position as I'd give you the appearance of try
ing to lift it over your head. The other IS
turned under itself, and has become so sweaty
that YOU begin to fear that it. will stick there
permanently. a new stream OF pomade hnds
it's way out, and starts downward. Then he
shakes your head in the tongs till it settles
right, and says it looks like rain, and puts your
chin out again, and punches out your chest, and
SAYS he doesn't know what the poor are to DO
next winter, unless there is radical change In
affairs. and taen takes the top of your head IN
one hand an,b your chin in the other, and gives
your neck wrsach that would earn any other
man a prominent position in new hospital;
Then he runi'h his hand through your hair and
scratches your scalp, and steps back to- the
camera and the injured velvet for another
look. By this time new sweat and pomade
have started out. The whites of your eyes
show unpleaAantly, and your whole body feels
as if it had been visited by an enormous cramp,
and another and much bigger one was momen-
tarily expected. Then he points at something
for you to look at tells you to look cheerful
and composed, and snatches away the velvet
and pulls out his WATCH When he gets tired,
and you feel as if there was nothing left In
this world ID live for, he restores the velvet,
says it is an unfavorable day for picture but he
hopes for the best, and Immediately disappears
in his den. Then you get up and stretch your
self, slap on your hat and Immediately sneak
home, feeling mean, humbled, and altogether
too wretched for description. The first friend
who sees the picture says he can see enough
resemblance 10 make certain that is you, but
you have tried to look too formal to be natural
and graceful -Dcn6ury Ncacs.