, 1873-08-03

Lo tied-Cnpt Jack In Chains.
-Ladios clnim that tho postal cards haVo no
room on them fora Up. s."
III you are short OF ice this warm Wenther.
you can always got nico carto at tie photog-
rapher'e ,,,,..,,.
vas the toothacho Of tho goul," another editor
suggests that the only why to stop 1t 10 to us
SONG Sgo goa srRos es il very wol supplied with bor
rios. The now worm TINT comes with them thif
yenr il rather acid IN flavor, md not hitogothe
unp}oaHant.- Danbs1y Ne'cs. .-.....
4 very sad and depressing fonturo Of the &c.
we're rain at Danhury on Friday afternoon "a
man in linen clothes, who Was waiting at tle
depot for tho train on which Ills "lfe's nlothe
was expected.
"A Cincinnati yonng man who had read in hi
city papors that Cleveland girls always ropl'e
"You bot" when tendorea MI offer OF lnnrrlREt
tried tho experiment will, ono Of them. anu til
only roply he got WAS, You got .
Excited vito to her husbaud): "Do you ne
admit TINT woman has nission?" Cool hut
| band: "Yos, my dear, aho Inns submission.
Great confusion IN tho domestic circle, and tn
husband calls on tho family surgeon for plastt
| 1t against tho edgo OF an opon door,"
AN old bncho1or says that ho has K
ladies in whom tho inBtinct Of decoration WAS
that if they we're ao 6oG toi they must 10 @
| their frat thought would bo, 20 doar! And
| haven't draBa lit to bo hung in!"
"A Pennsylvania preachor, while holding SO
7icos recently, gavo thanks IN q p feryent pray
for tho prosperous condition Of tho crops, 10
copting, Q Lord. the corn, which is backwar
and tho oats, which aro mighty thin in spots."
/ .-Apropos Of the tornado that rccontly e..
over Iowa, by which so much property was, d
| sttoyod, no observe that ono journal bus IN
single sentence summed up its terrible fore
sit Was wind that just aat up Oh its hlnd"le
and howlod."
-aWhy ia it TINT 80 many men q
troubled with brain dieease 81 late r H.
pressure ngo," replied friend, "thero Il
d groat many moro tlings to occupy onos
tion than ttoro wero twenty yoars ngos, but
brains ant any bigger now than thon."
An Extingushor- and loquacio
youth-7 Dy Sovo, you know, upon my "
should bo Il chattoring idiot for tho rest ot'
lfo" 1ngenu92uysa a. maidon (droamily)-"h'
"A diapStch eays that, ut the burning o
hotol in pfairo du Chien, WiB., "soynral Of
eoryapt girls 1oapol from tho third-atory wind
into the arms of Capt. Hobbs." Some o.
malo boardora tried to attract Hobbs attonti
but thoy finally had to crawl down the 1'sh'ht
rod.
a few days age. resident Of Detroit >.
takon sick aud sone for DOCTOR Tho doc'
, left q prescription, aud with it request t
ono Of tho children should Gnu ut hls onloe
next day and say how tho patient was doing.
little girl came. and, when questioned, prom
:, answered: "Pleaae, sir. father is getting
tor he's broke tho stove all to ploces
morning, and boon fighting mother' 1uat
ho used tol"
1.-Two amusing answora Of tho a;-
!, Woatorn Senator at West Point are Fecorf
. On being asked into how many pieces
!. charged spherical shot will burst, le rep1
! lInto two, at leas, sir, shoull thlnk;"
y y on being asked what wuro tho ''seb Of the !
: In peoe Of orinallco, replied, after ma
: consideration, thnt at showed tho upper
+ Of tho gum and it was useful to spike It W.T.
;, Tho freedmen aro noyor moro in their
u mont at tho South than when attending
= neoting. Thoy hayo n peculiar information y
= thoy hold forth, which IL onhanced by tho
dition OF tho syllable " Or" to the ond Of oil
r. oyory word. story is told of MI old coi
- y, minister who, in oxpaliating upon tho Aorroi
/ everlasting condemnation, which those noar1
- - close Of tho!r terrestrial journey must OK;
=. pointed to his own aged inthor. exc!a'!n
Is Look ut tnt ole ilan-or, with ono foos IL
4 grayo-or, and the other all but-or!"
Advice to Il Isro.1ell-hue enrtcA Yo;
n E4saRYs
IL A broken-hoartcd young tl'lug writes
D. woekly paper as follows; About three !
i, nuo became acquainted with q young SO
u man md, although ho mover rald mo any;