Connecticut western news., 1873-08-22
Items of Interest.


 A addressed dog wears a collar and pants in the summer.
 One half the world doesn't know how the other half live-and it is none of their business. ..... ..
 Capt. Joseph Jackson, it is said, died at Rochester, N. H., from the effects of the bite of Q spider received ten years ago.
 A debating society in North Carolina is engaged in discussing the difference between horse-raddish and reddish horse. t' ...u--t
 A watchmaker inquiries whether, if a man runs away from scolding wife, hls movements should not be called 0 lever escampment. '--
 What is the reason-can you guess
 Why men arc poor, and women thinner?
 So much do they for dinnar dress, ..
 That nothing's left to dress for dinner.
 The editor of Missouri paper has had engraved on it's heading huge pair of shears, inscribed with the motto, "We clip only the best" .-...-
 The Tycoon has capital way of en- couraging newspaper enterprises. He orders that all men of certain social and political circles shall subscribe to the new Japanese paper or be beheaded. Sebastian Mergy while drunk was car rying his four year old boy ln his arms in Cincinnati. He staggered, fell and killed the child. Then remorse suggest ed the oath, /" will never drink another drop" ,..... ..'tr.. ....F4.
 Another horse disease has broken out in Toronto, Canada, of the nature of typhoid fever, which is more deadly than the epizootic. It seems that Can ada has an especial faculty for origin ating horse maladies. ..f.. ... ..,..,...
 The Mayor of Indianapolis has de- cided that he has no legal right to com pei drunkards to state where they buy their liquor while under prosecution for drunkenness, as they would be liable to conviction upon their own testi- mony. u s.-. .... ....i lu...I .rF.
 "Ah," said moralizer, Chow beau tiful are Natures arrangements l When night comes and man wishes to sleep the flies also go to rest and ceaae to trouble him." "Yes," replied cynic, "and about that time the mosquitoes wake up." .." ..a ...7a arg.
 At the Cork Assizes in Ireland in July there was not single prisoner for trial. The High Sheriff said it was the first maiden assize on tho annals of the city. The Judge, Baron Deasy, re- ceived the pair of white gloves usually presented to the Judge when the crimi- nal calendar is clear. ''
 The Chicago Tribune has been re- viewing the Chicago Directory. It finds in it 133,070 names, from which It reckons that the population of Chicago 209 churches, 121 schools, colleges, and other institutions of learning, 272 lodges and societies, and 1.672 Smiths.
 A contractor said that he never, ln twenty years experience in Boston, knew workmen, "good and true," so scarce as now. He could get plenty that were willing and anxious to draw their pay, but to do an honest days work, they could not be found in any number. Mechanics, artisans, and la- borers cannot be had at any price.
 Wasn't this pleasant thing for poor Porter Pierce of Southport, Me-? He is away in his schooner fishing, leaving two men to get in his hay, and they have got it in with Q vengeance, though there is no hay in the barn now, because they would smoke their pipes there. It never rains without pouring. The in- surance on the property, valued at $2,- 900, ran out few days since. Prob ably Pierce, upon his return, will ex- press himself strongly upon the smok- ing question.
 An Engine Go. of New York town, few days ago, had dress parade. They all wore 25-cent glazed caps as uniform. After arranging their appara- tus in front of the twenty six liquor saloons of the place, they went. to the river to have squirt. They squirted their hose full of holes, and threw it in- to the creek. Their next exploit was to draw their engine into the river to wash it. Having finished this fun, they had all they could do to get out themselves, leaving the apparatus there, Each brave fireman found his way home be- fore daybreak the next morning.
 The editor of the Tobacco Ledf, newspaper in Clarksville, Tennessee, in response to q toast of the press said: Gentlemen the-the press. The press as I said, the press [oheersl The mill, as I remarked-[ laughterl-the mill-and by tho mill mean the four ing mill-is the great civilizer and dis tributor of the staff of life. The press and the mill-the mill and the press gentlemen-Igreat applause lEthe mill and the press stand, so to speak-stand in intimate juxtaposition, of which the mill sustains most intimate relations to the press, while both are productive of indiscriminate grinding" Great ap- plauSeL