Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-07-24
Mark Twain Goes After the Shah.

IN letter to the New York Herald, I'M
der date of London, June IS, Mark Twain
writes as follows:
"Would you like to go over to Bel
GUM and help bring the Shah to En-
gland ?"
| said | WIS willing.
VERY wei, them here is an order from
the Admiralty which will admit you on
board Her Majesty's ship Lively, now ly-
ing at Ostend, and you can return in her
day after tomorrow
That was all. That was the end of it.
Without stopping to think, | had in a
manner taken upon myself to bring the
Shah of Persia to England | could not
otherwise regard the conversation | had
just held with the London representative
of the New York Heyald. The amount of
discomfort | endured for the next two or
three hours cannot be set down in words.
/ could not eat sleep, talk, smoke with
any satisfaction. The more | thought the
thing over the more oppressed | felt.
What was the Shah to me that | should
90 to all this worry and trouble on his &C
count? Where was there the least Occa-
sion for taking upon myself such respon-
sibility? If got him over all right well.
But if | lost him. If he died on my
hands, If he got drowned 1t was de
pressing any way | looked at it. In the
end, said to myself If get this Shah
over here safe and sound will never take
charge Of another one" And yet, at the
same time | kept thinking, This coun-
try has treated me well, stranger as am,
and this foreigner is the cOuntry's guest
that is enough; / Will help him out;
will fetch him over; | will land him in
| AnInn and n 10 Rritish r,anr1a
Here is your Shah; give me re-
Ceipt'"
| felt easy in my mind now and was
about TO go to bed, but something occur
red to me. | took a cab and drove down
town and routed out that Herald represen-
tative.
Where is Belgium" said /.
"Where is Belgium? l never heard
such question:
THAT doesn't make any difference to
me. If | have got to fetch this Shah |
don't wish to 90 to the wrong place.
Where is Belgium? Is it a shilling fare
in a CABS"
He explained that it was in foreign
parasitic first place have heard of lately
which body could not 90 to in A cab for
a shilling
| said | could not 90 alone, because I
could not speak foreign languages WELL
could not get up in time for the early
train without help, and could not find my
way. | said it was enough 10 have the
Shah on my hands; | did not wish to
have everything piled on me. Mr.. Blank
was then ordered to go with me- | was
not so ignorant as | appeared, but | do
like to have somebody along to talk to
when | go abroad. When | got home |
sat down and thought the thing all over.
| wanted to go into this enterprise under
StaudIngly What was the main thing?
That was the question. \ little reflection
informed me. For two weeks the London
papers had sung just one continual song
tolust one continual tune, and the idea Oft
all was how 10 impress the Shah.n These
papers had told all about the st. Peters
burg splendors, and had said at the end
that SplendorS would no longer answer;
that England could not Guido Russia in that
respect, therefore some other way of I'M
pressing the Shah must be contrivod
And these papers had also told all about
the STATISTIC reception in Prussia and its
attendant military pageantry. England
could not improve on that sort of thing;
She could not impress the Shah with sol
dlerS; something else must be tried. And
So on Column after column. page after
ils-N VI agony IAblAl NOW 40 impress TIE
SHAH Al last they had hit upon a happy
idea-a grand naval exhibition. That was
It \ man brought mp in Oriental seclu-
sion and simplicity; a man who had never
seen anything but CamCls and such things.
could not help being surprised and de
lgh'ed With the strange novelty of ships.
The distress was at an end. England
heaved great sigh of relief; she knew nj
last how to impress the Shah
My course was very plain now. after
that bit of reflection. All had to do was
to go over to Belgium and impress the
Shah. | failed to form any definite plan
rs TO the process, but | made up my mind
TO manage it somehow. | said to myself:
Il will impress the Shah, or there shall
be funeral that viii be worth contem-
plating"
went to bed then, but did not sleep a
great deal, for the responsibilities were
weighing pretty heavily upon me- At
SIX O'Clock in the morning, Mr. Blank
came and turned me out. was surprised
At this, and not gratified, for detest early
rising. | never like TO say severe things.
but was good deal tried this time. |
said | did not mind getting UP moder-
ately early, but | hated to be called day
before yesterday,
He goes on to describe English scenery
and the voyage, and then gives what he
calls Ostcnd-tatious information
Ostend is curious, contradictions
ing, massively-bui town, where the
people speak both the French and the
Flemish with exceeding tiuency, and vet
| could not understand them in either
tongue. But l will write the rest about
Ostend in to-morrow's letter.
We ldled about this curious OStend the
remainder Of the afternoon and far into
the long-lived twilight apparently to
amuse ourselves. but secretly | had q
deeper motive. wanted to see if there
was anything here that might empress
the SHAH In the end | was treasured
and content If Ostend could impress
him, England could amaze the head clear