The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-02-27
SHAVINGS.


word.
Good places for match making Sulphur
Springs.
A bad wind-up of the week-Reeling home
on Saturday night.
Whist effect do four-miIls have upon
town make it flourish.
The wrinkles Of the heart are more indeli-
able than those of the brow.
Jones, lately married, says that courtship
is bliss, but matrimOny is blister.
We are so desirious of vengence that peo-
pie often offend us by not giving offence.
The dearest object to a man should be his
wife. but it is not unfrequently her clothes.
An American woman in London recently
went to the legation for ''pass" to see the
Queen
Model wives formerly took "stItch in
time - now, while w tn the aid of sewing
machines, they take one in no time.
Whom man wants money assistance,
the world, as rule is very obllging and In
dulgent, and-lets him want it.
There is man who keeps list of all the
banks in the country, SO as to be able
to say that he keePsa bank account.
negro lately died. The neighbors said
he was blackamoor. We contend that he
was not blacky more, but backy less.
Said q man who tumbled out of q third
story window, when first fell was con-
fused but when I struck the pavement l
knew where I was"
A speaker at political meeting the other
night concluded his address by solemnly
warning the audience That ''the eyes of the
VoT popuH' were upon them.
1t is suggested that in building railroads
the rails should be heated red hot, so that
the workmeR will lay them down rapiIy.
''Is there any danger ofthe boa constructor
biting ?" asked a visitor OF a geological
Snowman ''he never bites-he swallows hts
whites whole"
Doubtful Responsibility. - After asking
your name in the State GOT Arkansas, the ma.
tives are in the habit of further enquiring,
in a confidential tone, "Wen, now, what
was yer name afore yer moved to these
PARISH
D ctor Casln, having heard the famous
Thomas Fuller repeat some verses on q scold.
ing wife, was so delighted with them IS to
request copy. There is no Necessity for
that, " said Fuller, Gas you have got the
original"
In speaking OF local deba ing society, a
county paper says, "Our town debating club
is in full swing, and questions that have en-
crossed she intellectual functions of sages
ever since the food are being decided at the
rate Of two week"
plumber had q lad In his employ, who
thought himself about twice as sharp as new
vinegar, and one day having occasion for a
piece of zinc, ordered him to get out twelve
inches square. Eyes, air." said Razor,
twelve inches square, hut how long ?"
An american correspondent, who reads the
reports of all the bauquOts. complains that
so much is said about "the memory of Wash
ington" and enquiries whether Washington
had better memory than anybody else that
1t should be so generally remarked upon.
Gross Humbug,-The grossest instance of
humbug we have met with for long time is
that OF an individual who adve=tIses for sale
Siberian bloodhound, which he calls "a.
l." when every one possessing the ordinary
rudlments of an English education ought to
know that the best is K o.
Bad Rum or Bigotry.-Mr. TAYLOR, tba late
vine VINO had refused to enter his pulpit be-
cause Unh arian minister had been in IT,
by falling on his knees on the pulpit stairs
and crying out, "Oh, Lord, deliver us in
boston from two things, bad rum and bigot
~. Thou knOwest which is worst. for
don'tW
How 10 be Sorry.-Wit in an influential
form was displayed by the Quaker gentle
man soliciting subscriptions tor a widow
Tor whom every body expressed the greatest
sympathy. "Wen," said he. "evervbodv
declares he is sorry for her l am truly sorry
Tor her; am truly sorIy-I am sorry five
pounds. How much art thou sorry, friend ?
and thou ? and thou?"
man who shores was described bv bis
friend the other dav Eas follows: -"Snore
On no, no name for F.! When you wake up
IN the morning and find that the house Won
lodge in has been moved halt. q mile Snriro
the night by the respiratory vehemence Of a
fellow odger, you may get some idea of that
fellows performance, His landlady gets her
house moved back by turning his bed
around"
colored philosopher thus unburthened
hirnenlI m nnn ~ run,nnrlo