Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-01-23
How l Escaped Being Killed in a
Duel.
BY MARK TWAIN,

AFTER had reported a couple years
on the Virginia City Nevada) Daily En-
terprase, they promoted me to be editor in
chief-and | lasted Just a week, by the
watch. But l made an uncommonly
lively newspaper while | did last, and
when | retired | had duel on my hands,
and three horse-whippings promised me.
The latter | made no attempt to collect
however, this history concerns only the
former. 1t was the old Flush times Of
the silver excitement, when the popula-
ton was wonderfully wild and mixed
everybody went armed to the teeth, and
all Sights and insults had to be atoned
for with the best article of blood your
system could furnish. In the course of
my editing | made trouble with a Mr.
Lord, editor of the rival paper. He flew
up about some little trife or other that
said about him do not remember now
what it was. l suppose l called him q
thief, or body snatcher, or an idiot, or
something like that. was obliged to
make the paper readable, and l could not
fail in my duty to a whole community of
subscribers merely to save the exaggerated
sensitiveness of an Individual. Mr.. Lord
was offended, and replied vigorously in
his paper. Vigorously means a great
IN frontier newspaper. Duelling was
all the fashion among the up
per classes in that country,
and very few gentlemen would
throw away an opportunity of fighting
one. To kill person in duel caused a
man to be even more looked up to than to
kill two men in the ordinary way. Well,
out there, if you abused a man, and that
man did not like it, you had to call him
out and kill him; otherwise you would
be disgraced. So l challenged Mr.
Lord, and did hope he would not ac-
cept; but | knew perfectly we'll that he
did not want to fight, and so l challenged
him in the most violent and implacable
manner. And then I sat down and suf-
fered and suffered till the answer came
All our boys-the editors-were incur
office, ''helping" me in the dismal bust
ness, and telling about duels, and discuss
ing the code with lot Of aged ruflians
who had had experience in such things,
and altogether there was loving inter
est taken In the matter, which made me
unspeakabiy uncomfortable. The an
swer came-Mr Lord declined Our
boys were furious, and so was lon the
surface
| sent him another challenge, and
another, ana 2nOtnef; ana the more ne
did not want to fight the bloodthirstier l
became. But at last the mans tone
changed. He appeared to be waking up.
1t was becoming apparent that he was
going to fight me, after all. | ought to
have known how it would be-he was a
man who never could be depended upon
Our boys were exultant. l was not,
though l tried to be.
1t was now time to go out and prac-
tice. 1t was the custom there to fight
with navy six-shooters at fifteen PAGES
load and empty till the game for the
funeral was secured. We went to little
ravine just outside Of town, and borrow
ed barn door for target-borrowed it
of a gentleman who was absent-and we
stood this barn door up, and stood rail
on end against the middle of it, to repre-
sent Lord, and put squash on the top of
the rail to represent his head. He was a
very tall, lean creature, the poorest sort
of material for a duel-nothing but a
line shot could " fetch" him. and even
then he might split your bullet. Exag-
geration aside, the rail was, of course, a
little too thin to represent accurately, but