davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
Atrocioms Habit.

MarK Twain VIII IS as 1OllOWS:
There is habit peculiar to many
walkers, which Punch some years
ago touched upon satirically, but
which seems to have survived the
jester,s ridicule. 1t is that custom
of stopping friends in the street, to
whom we have nothing whatever to
communicate, but whom we embar-
rass for no other purpose than simply
to show our friendship. Jones meets
his friend Smith, whom he met in the
same locality only few hours before.
During that interval, it is highly
probable that no event of any i'm
portanee to Smith, nor indeed to
Jones, which, by friendly construc-
ton, Jones could imagine Smith to
be interested in, has occurred or is
likely to occur. Yet, both gentlemen
stop and shake hands earnestly.
'Well, how goes it" remarks Smith, in
a vague hope, thlt something may
have happened. 49," replies the
eloquent Jones, 2 feeling intuitively
the deep vacnity of his friend an
swering to his own APause ensues,
in which both gentlemen regard each
other with an inbecile smile and a
ferEent pressure of the hand.
Smith draws a long breath and looks
up the street; Jones sighs and gazes
down the street. Another pause, in
which both gentlemen disengage
their respective hands and glance
anxiously around for some convenient
avenue of escape. Finally Smith
with sudden assumption of hav-
ing forgotten an important engage
ment) CALCULATES, "Well, I must be
off -aremark instantly echoed by the
volublecJones; and these gentlemen
separate, only to repeat their formula
the next day. In the above example
l have compassionately shortened the
usual leave taking, which, in snllful
hands, may be protracted to length
watch 1 shudder to recall 1 have
sometimes, when an active partici-
pant in these atrocious transactions,
fingered in the hope of saying some
thing natural to my friend, feeling
that he, toe, was cropping in the
may labyrinths of his mind for a
like expression) until 1 have felt that
we ought to have been separated by a
policeman. 1t is astonishing how
far the most wretched joke will go
in these emergencies, and how it will,
as it were, convulsively detach the
two cohering particles. I have
laughed (albeit hysterically) at some
witticism under cover of which 1 es-
capped, that five minutes afterward
L could not perceive possessed a
grain of humor. 1 would advise
any person who may fall into this
pitiable strait that, next to getting
in the way of passing dray and
being forcibly disconnected, joke
is the most efficacious. A foreign
phrase often may be tried with sue
cess; 1 have sometimes known dw re
Uoir pronounced "reveer" to have
the effect of severing friends.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

A week or two since, a little Incl
dent occurred at Cape Girardeau
A character, noted somewhat for loaf
ing around bar-rooms, was sitting in
his usual place of resort, with several
cempatriots, about card table, kill
ing time with the pasteboards. Sud
denly his wife entered the room, bear
ing a covered dish, which she depos-
tied On the table with the remark:
'tPresuming husband, that you were
too busy to come home to dinner, 1
have brought yours to you, and then
departed, The husband invited mis-
companions to share his meal, and re-
moved the lid from the dish, reveal
ing no smoking roast, but instead a
slip of paper, on which was written:
Il hope you will enjoy your dinner;
it is of the same kind your family has
at home. - jackson (hTissourD Cash
book.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The explorations of Capt. Selfridge show
that ship canal across the Isthmus of Da-
rien is feasible, there being only twenty
eight miles of canal, with tunnel of three
miles, the cost being estimated at $40, O0O.- =
600. The route is near the extremity of the
Isthmus, where it becomes a part of the
northwestern shoulder of South America,
where the dividing ridge is quite low. The
route follows, the Atrato river, which is nav
igable near two hundred miles, being capa-
BILE of floating the heaviest ships.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

OCEAN TRAVEL. accidents by ocean
travel, though they have been of an appal-
ling character for the past year, are not 50
frequent, nor has the loss of life by them
been SO very great, compared with the num-
Der of people carried, as is generally sup
posed. A few statistics compiled in the
East go to establish this fact Ocean trav-
ell, by this showing, is attended by fewer
casualties than movements by rail. There
are now ten steamship lines running be-
tween New York and Europe, the first of
which, the Cnnard, was started in 1910.
OF these, the Cunard, the National, the
Hamburg, the American, the two Lloyd
lines and the French, have never lost pas
senger In the whole period ?, ,62s, 1886 pas
sengers have been carried and 1916 lost.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

A beautiful girl was married in San
Francisco, and at the conclusion of
of the marriage ceremony she turned
to her husband and said, "George,
kiss me, I am dying" The husband
complied with the request, AMI at
that moment the young bride fell
dead to the floor.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

and meaning of the author, this is
what ne has yet to acquire by the
imitation of good models and by fire.
quent practice. That the art of read
ing aloud is at the low ebb we men
ton, any one can readily convince
himself by requesting his friend to
read for him the last speech of the
British premier, or message of the
American president. Twenty to one
he will find his friend an apt enough
scholar, but q careless and indifferent
enunciator one who has all along read
for himself, and whose only object
has been merely to acquire the mean
ing of the work he perused. At the
period of the Reform Bill, when news
papers were read by the million, it
was customary, m the workshops Of
tailors, fax-dressers, and others, for
one to read aloud while the others
were at work, those who could read
fuently taking their turns of this
duty, and those who could not, pay
ing others who did, according to the
amount of time spent in the exercise.
In some instances indeed, reader
was paid by the workmen, it being
his duty to read the public debates
and leading articles at so much
per hour. We have occasionally lis
tened to such reader, Zone of the
workmen,) and been surprised at the
force and freedom of his ntterance,
and the manner in which he modulat-
ed his intonations, throwing him
self exactly into the place of the
speaker Now, this was not the re-
suit of any superior tuition, but the
effect of listening to the best public
speakers, and of his daily exercise as
reader to the establishment. Unfort-
unately the practice to which we re-
fer, died with the excitement of the
period; but we see no cause why the
attention which was then given to
public affairs might not be proftably
directed to entertaining and instruc-
tive authors. 1t is true that the in
quiring and studious workman will
cultivate his own mind at home; but
all workmem are not inquiring and
studious, and the introduction of
reading aloud to each other IN turn
would be productive of incalculable
benefit.
Singing for the million is cried up
on all hands-why not reading aloud2
We have in almost every family and
workshop evidence of what practice
in concert has done for local music;
why not the same for reading aloud ?
The one art is chiefly valued as an
amusement and refining accomplish
ment-the' other is equally entertain
ing, quite as necessary for the adorn-
ment of public or private life, and
certainly more directly productive of
utility and knowledge. = From
Chambers Journal
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

At small town on the Louisville
and Nashville Railroad, the other day,
four able-bodied white men were seen
in field playing croqpet. 1t was
the sublimest spectacle that an i'm
poverished country ever beheld. !.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
Select Miscellany.
DRESSING Fur cauRca.


Has anybody heard the bell?
You have7 dear me, I know full well
IN never uressin time ~
For nercy's sake, come help me, Luce.
I'll make my toilet very spruce
This silk is quite sublime, - {
Bere,lace this gaiter for me-do--
p "A hoie," yoh see? plague take the shoel
Please, Lucy, try and hide it, 49,
just think, tie Sunday and, my soul
/ cannot weaf II with a holei
The men via surely spy it,. 'tit9F@ s.
They're always peeping at ourfeet,
Though. to-he-sure, theyIieedn't peep,
The way we hold our dresses, it'
IN disappoint them, though, to-day
"And cross myself, pray did you say7
Don't laugh at my distresses.
How splendidly the silk viii rustle
please hand my ''self-adjusting bustle,"
My corset and my hoop.)
There, nowsIn take. five skirts or six-Sl
Do hurry. Luce. and let me iix.. 49, : =.
4 You know cannot stoop. %8ZAS =
Now, then, my hat-how he abhors
This thing-its big as all out DOORS
The frightfui sugar-scoopl ~ ~
i Thank heavennly switch is handsome, too,
1t cOsts enough to be, know
= tStraighten this horrid hoopl
Ny handkerchief and gloves You'll find
Z. Just in that drawer-Luce, are you blind2 i
docs my dress trail7)
It's all the fashion now Won know.
pray, does the paint and powder show
Through my lace veia)
Thank you, my dear, 1 b'lieve I'm dressed,
The saints be praised! the day of rest
Comes only once in seven,
For If, on all the other six,
This trouble should have to fix,
I'd never get to heayeni
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The Secretary of War has concurr-
ed in the recommendation of the
Chief of Ordnance that the report of
the Board on Small Arms in favor of
the Springfield breech-loader, be ap-
proved, and that arm is therefore
continued as the standard weapon for
the use of the United States army.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The Buffalo Express says: 'It is
all very we'll to talk about the dignity
of the United States; but the truth
is, Indians are a good deal like bum
bic bees, and the man that stands on
his dignity with nest of humble
bees is q fool"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
We suppose the editor of the Moul-

We suppose the editor of the Moul-
ton Independent has been squeezing
the article to his sorrow. He says:
"a woman is composed of two hun
dred and forty-three bones, one hun
dred and nine muscles, and three
hundred and ninety-six pins; fearfully
and wonderfully made and to be han
died with care to aVoid scratches"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
CAPTAIN JACK.


The conscientious author of "Captain Jinlzs'
should remodel his atrocity in this way:
Pm Captain Jack of the Modoc reds,
Iraise thehair from the soldiers heads,
And put EN- to sleep in nay lava beds;s -1-s-e
I'm terrible man TO the army; g .-r..
I've made the blue-coats skurry and dance,
Skurry and dance, skurry and dance,
But what have done's not a circumstance =
@ TO whati would do to the afTuy. 80 .s.s
Acfafty, lnrking, treacherous' snake, '-i3 ii 80
Ny den in the sliuly rocks make, - s.-z.1 o.
My fangs are keen, and the lives ] take, s 90
Of the bravest men in the army.
But they're sunnrnoning soldiers to do me harm,
To do me harm, to do me harm,
And fearthey1l make it exceedingly warm,
HIdon't get out from the army.
For I'm Captain Jack they have failed to tame;
The white man finds me ever the same,
At every stage of the murderous game
I've beat the innocent lubber.
But hand too many I fear Eve played,
fear I've. .Phyed,I fear Pxe plaged, Il s-=is IT
I've stretched my luck and reached I'm afraid
The end of this Indian rubber.
lSt Louis Weekly.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
Enigmas.

am composed Of % letters.
My first is in pig, but not in hog,
My second is in marsh, but not in bog,
Ny third ia in bird, but not in crow,
Ny fourth is in fling, but not in throw,
My filth is in timber, but not in wood,
Ny sixth is in cap, but not in hood,
Ny seventh is in fight, but not in play,
My eighth is in grass, also in hays
Ny ninth is in wish, but not in hope,
My tenth is in gallop, also in lope,
My eleventh is in come, butnot in go,
Ny twelfth is in yes, but notin no,
My thirteenth is in Jim, also in Jack, 4 -
My fourteenth is in crevice, but not in crack,
My fifteenth is in then, also in now,
My sixteenth is in nail, but not In plow,
My seventeenth is in winter, also in spring,
My eighteenth is in bracelet, but not in ring,
My nineteenth is in rich, also in poor,
My twentieth is in window, but not in door,
Ny twenty first is in zebra, but notiu mule,
My twenty-second is in learning, but not in school
My twenty-third is in reign, and also in rule.
Ny whole forms the names of young gentleman
and lady. DADS LITTLE BOY.
Pokebery Grove, o.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The New York World estimates
that there are Ia, 900 women in that
city. earning their living in other
than domestic employments. Of
these, 1900 are milliners, $4,000 ar
tifcial flower makers, 10000 in the
hoop-skirt manufactures, 10000 in
the hating trade 5000 tailoresses,
while several thousand work in book
binderies, and large numbers are en-
ployed making parasols and umbrel-
las and in other minor trades.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

A young lady in Greenville, Tenn,
recently presented her lover with an
elaborately CONSTRUCTED pen-wiper and
was astonished, the following Sunday,
to see bin wearing it as q crayat,
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

To be generous with flowers brings
its own reward; for the more they are
cut, the more viii the plants bloom,
as any gardener will tell you. You
can represent the matter in this light
to your friends who have gardens;
and be not afraid Of begging in so
good cause.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

Another evidence of the progress which
the principle of minority representation is
making is to be found in the new school
law of Connecticut. 1t provides that the
whole number of school visitors in each
town shall be either six or nine if six, two
are to be chosen each year; but the ballot
of either party contains but one name, and
the two candidates receiving the highest
number of votes is elected. If the board
consists of nine, three are two to be chosen
each year, and the ballots may contain two
names.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

There is a good deal in the. remark of the
Buffalo Express-''It is all very well to talk
about the dignity of the United States, but
the truth is, Indians are good deal like
bumble-bees, and the man that stands on
his dignity with nest of bumble-bees is
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

An old lady was admiring the beau
tiful picture called "Saved." :" '1t's no
wonder" said she, "that the poor
child tainted after pulling that great
dog out of the water"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

One reason why the postal cards
are not ruled is because they will be
used more for printing than writing.
Four-ffths of them that are passing
through the mails contain advertise
ments and circulars printed on the
backs of them instead of written mat
fer.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

A WARNING.-The Fayette County Her
aid says that carriage was sold on the
street in Washington on last sale day, that
was the last of a fortune of $50, 900. This
is only an additional link in the chain of
verifcation, that ga fool and his money ere
soon parted" How the father of this Wild
goose economist labored, saved, and in all
probability lived miseriy, meanly and mig
gardly as to the comforts of life, in order to
give his boy start!
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

QUEER TwINs.-The Shelby Ky)
Sentinel of a recent date, says: A
mare belonging to Mr.. VIM. Tucker
living near Simpsonville, foaled a
perfect horse and perfect mule colt
the same night-the only instances
of the kind, so far as we know, on
record. s.s
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

'.Buy trunk, Pat?" said a dealer.
sand what for should 1 buy a trunk!"
replied Pat "To put your clothes
in" "And go naked?" exclaimed Pat.
''Not bit of it.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
THE GOLDEN SHOE,
MIN ST, HZLLSBORO, o
"IIail - the Chief who in Triumph Advances.
Tine Eighth Wonder of the World"
Nesmith's Great Rheumatic and
Neuralgia Cure, and Magical
Pain EXtractor.

II will remove all pain at once, and Immediately
cnre Neuralgia, LumbagO, Sciatica, Pain in the
Back and Side, Piles, Frozen Limbs, Chilblains,
Burns, Scalds, Toothache, Earache, Headache, no
difference how bad, nor what It proceeds from,
Chapped Lips, Chapped Hands, Stings of Bees,
Bites of Poisonous Insects, and in fact all of the
hc: TO- and it viii speedily cure Rheumatism. resh
cases immediately Paralysis, Gout Sprains stiff
Joints, Cuts, Wounds, Bruises, Fever Sores, and
Bed Sores. By applying Il freely TO the part affect
tie raw cotton with it. and place II In the hollow of
the tooth, and for Earsche, drop or drops of il
into the ear affected, and all pain viii instantly
For sale BY J. J. KR0WN, at bis Drug store, In
Hsboro, OHIO, and by n. Squire OF bis Drug Store,
In Greenfield, Ohio. Y2Oyl
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
Teachers Department.
Tiie New School Law.

We have justreceived copy Of the
new siSehool Law, and will try to
fndofime to notice in next weeks
paper, some of the most important
changes made in the present laws
EEd lT D.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

That was a very happy text which
"a New York clergyman selected for a
sermon on the death of Chief Justice
Chase: Howl, fir tree, for the cedar
has fallenI
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The wife of a canal boat captain
has become so frightened at the loss
of the Atlantic, that she has declined
to sail as cook on her husbands boat
this season. -.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
COnundrums.

Why is French franc of no value compared with
an American dollar7 Because it is north less.
What do you suppose Neptune would say when
he lost the empire of the sea? have not ocean,
"a notion.)
What game does lady's hustle resemble? Back
CANNON.
Why is sick horse like bad play? Because il
won't run and can't draw.
Why is a loaf of bread like caterpillar? Because
it is the grub that makes the butter fly.
Why is a mans life safest In the last stages of
dyspepsia9 Because he can't digest then.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

One hundred dollars a year, from
an ordinary business, spent in adver-
tising, will bring five times the return
of the same amount spent in any 9th
er way.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

Mrs. Manooveres says she pos
sesses great resources in her dear
daughters, only she has not yet been
able to husband them. -
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12
yocAL.
INSTRUM Entail.

PoLKAs.-Sunbeam, by Kinkel, 95 cents Belle
of Saratoga, by Victor, IS cents May Flowers, by
Simon, IS cents.
MISUNDERSTANDING of the Birds, 50 cents !;
Happy Thoughts, By Walker, 30 censs: Laughing
Ware by Wilson, 81 cents; Sanbeani, by Paeher,
20 cents.
each IS cents.
SHorTIscHEs.-Fatal Glance, by Young, 30 cepts;
May Morning. Dy Schmidt, 50 cents Sunbeam, by
Hampel, 81 cents; and Williss, by kinkel- 3s cts.
MARcHEs.-Belle of Saratoga, BY Bauinbach, 20
cents; Mollies, by Kinkel, 3 cents.
WALTzEs.-ClIrita, Georges, Lottle's Sallie's,
and Maggie's, by kinke, each 35 cents; Drops OF
Dew, by Allard, 20 cents; sunbeam by Muse IS cts.
FoUR HANDs.-Amaryllis, 50 cents; JOcus Polka,
35 cents Loves Chase Gai0p, IS cents; Praise of
Woman Polka Mazurka-all by DreSsler.
SALON PIEcEs.-Dance OF the Haymaksrs, VIII
son, 70 cents; Loves -Caresses, Kinke, - cents;
MAY Blossoms, Knkel 50 cents; Piainted des F1eurs
Tonei, 40 cents; Whispering Breezes, Wilson, 50
cents.
Any of the above mailed, postpaid, on receipt of
price.
Address, ]. l. PETERS, ass Broadway, New York.
myIw4
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The Grave-An ugly hole in the
ground which lovers and poets wish
they were in, but take uncommon care
to keep out oft.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

l am composed of IL letters.
My first is in frown, but not in smile,
My second is in reason, but not in style,
My third is in black, but not in whire,
My fourth is in flown, hut not in flight
My fifth is in frank, but not in true, r
My sixth is in brown, also in blue, -sll
My seventh is in age, but not in youth, - e..
My eighth is in danger, but not in truth,
My ninth is in Adam, but not in Eve,
My tenth is in mill, but not in sieve,
My eleventh is in scenery, but not in new. ...
Ny all is the name of a gentleman of Fails City,
Neb. ALLETTA.
''Ivy Lodge" ;" Lee'screek, o.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

"A Fayette county, Ohio, youth
sold his family carriage last week, the
last of $4,000 fortune squandered
in eighteen months.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

Richard Smith, the editor and
principal stockholder in the Gin
cinnati Gazette, began life as ajour-
neyman carpenter.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

Boxes, it is said, govern the world
the cartridge-box, the ballot-box, the
jury-box, and last, though not least,
the bonnet-box, H-. f
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

The Winnebagoes of Wisconsin,
numbering about 1000 souls, are to
be removed to a reservation in the
western part of the Indian Territory.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

':Poor but respectable people" are
common enough; what we want now
are a few who are rich and respecta-
ble --
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

Hearts have they, yet pity not
Cabbages.
Ears have they, yet hear not-Old
book leaves.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-06-12

A Des Moines woman gave her
husband morphine to cure him of
chewing tobacco. 1t cured him,
but she is doing her own spring
plowing.