The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-09-19
NEWS CHIPS.
From the Danbury News.

With the display now required Tor a
first class funeral, people are beginning
to understand what are the terrors OF
death.
When you feel depressed ADD dis
satisfied, and wherever you may look
naught but frowuipg skies meet your
view, wash yourself.
The New York Herald says the $500
greenbacks have six toed genius on
the back. They might have a split
cared rhinocerous there for all we would
know to the contrary.
The churches were well filed, Sum
day. The shape is an improvement,
bat the trimming is not wholly satis!ac'
tory. They set little further back on
the head than the summer styles, we
think.
A horse ran away on Liberty street
on Saturday afternoon, and a man on
the sidewalk, with wonderful presence
OF mind, threw his hat at the animal,
screamed fire, and Immediately jumped
over fence and disappeared down 8
cellar way
A chap who has owed us seven dol
lars for almost as many years, came
in yesterday to consult our taste In the
matter OF a present to his oldest SOD.
He Was quite anxious 10 know If row
boat would be as suitable as harp
with q gilt eagle on top.
An absent minded smoker named
Yarcy, undertook to whisper something
OF importance in the ear of old Mr..
Reynolds, Saturday, but in his absent
mindedness, neglected to remove his
cigar, the fire end Of which was driven
right into the old gentleman's ear. Mr..
Reynolds jumped straight up in the
air about Elk feet, and on coming down
split Yancy's nose by a well directed
blow. Yancy picked himself up and
started FOR home, declaring in a rage
that bed be hanged if he'd tell old
Reynolds what he was going to,
This is tie season Of preparation for
fairs. The honest yeoman are picking
out The best grain from several acres 10
exhibit as the average yield. The lit
tie girl, twelve years old, who shows
such clear handsome bread, has been
to see her grandmother about having it
made, and the advantages OF agricul-
ture are illustrated by impossible
angels fonlding improbable poodles in
Isle thread and canvas. Everybody
should take q personal interest in these
gatherings, and if he has no horse OF
his own, should draw his balance from
the bank and unhesitatingly plank it
on the races.
Lawyer Princes Office boy took a
good streak, Saturday afternoon, and
gave the Office floor thorough drench-
ing with water. Early in the evening
Mr.. Prince came in with young lady
client, and the moment he struck the
wet floor one foot turned partly on tie
edge, and described o halt circle with
wonderful velocity. lie clutched at a
desk but missed il, when the other foot
gave out, aud again he was halt way
down but partly recovered, lost the
other foot again, then both feet, and
alter vainly sDatChing at chair, went
down full length, turning over the chair
and smashing the panel to the door OF
a book case with one heel. To add TO
the embarrassment OF the affair, the
LADY remained till it was over, and then
abruptly left, and the next day there was
a story in circulation that Mr.. Prince
had the tremens, and tried to murder
one OF our most estimable young ladies
while in the fit. The Office boy says if
he could only stand still long enough
he could give the particulars