Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1873-07-17

sult YOU about this, he SAID, 'tnls can
bear-must bear. Would TO God tnat
thew were always tearing me. The
worst rs when they are not.
Z" They leave you very weak sug-
gested.
".They leave me, he replied, quite
calmly. iqoith O burning, almost 11ac0Ta-
ouera5le desire, to take human hte +!
81 am not generally nervous man,
but | started and looked around me Tor
some weapon of defense. Don't be
afraid he continued, with sad smile,
lthe fiji is not on me now. ] should not
have come if it had been. have been
nearly starved once or twice, not daring
20 leave nv room. | can conquer my
madness now. The question Is, now
lone can / continue to do soF l 1eel
that If is growing upon me. L feel my
mower of resistance growing weaker ana
weaLer-the craving for blood getting
stronger and stronger. / am like man
who has slipped over a preciplce' ana
| FOOLS the earth and shrubs TO which ne
cIinos. slowly, slowly, surely, surely,
| ~ivinG wav with him. ] have brought
I STgratched ours out Cf the street, and
killed them in my frenzy, IN the nope 10
| exhaust them on them. 1t IS OF no use.
! / must have human.
"tAnv human Iife?' [ inquired, or
some one in particular 80,
why do you ask this, DOCTOR LIE
cried. getting suddenly excited
| Ono matter-go on.
s"Sometimes, he resumed, 1t seems
that any life would do, and sometimes
four DAYS before / saw you, l saw up
on New Jersey ferry-boat, young
girl. So pretty, so refined and nice =, 1
| followed her to her hOme-the deNH'
that has taken possession OF me, lea me.
She went in, and soon came OUT again
into her little garden and tended heT
fiowers-poor child Doctor; II L mao
had pistol with me L should nave sIlot
her. You may smile but some day
soon 7 shall take pistol on purpose and
| shoot her. 81
him The best way with such people IS
to admit their facts and try to Work
round them.
q Then said /. the only thing you
can do is to submit to the restriction OF
an ASYLUM, till this feeling has passed.
.s.It will not pass. If l were to go
II a mad house l would sham sanity.
Sooner or later their vigilance over me
would be relaxed. Then / should muir
der my keeper, and 90 straight for that
innocent girl
- Then leave the country.
well. that would save her; but,
Doctor. one life is as dear to its holder
as another. If | don't kill her, / shall
kill some one else.
. NV dear fellow I replied, in as
light a tone as | could assume. these
fancies are durable. Put yourself IN
der skilled medical treatment You are
all to bits physically. Get sound in your
body and you'll be all right in your
mind.
ION the contrary, am all to bits,
rs Won saw. mentally, and my body SUI
fers through my mind. Medical treat
ment! have consulted every practl-
TONER of note here and in Europe. Some
think | am fooling them, some look wise
and talk as you do about treatment
All have failed. Doctors are Of no use
to me-
. Then, may I ask why you have
come here?'
ITO ask your advice as a friend he
answered, drawing his chair nearer to
me. and. lowering his voice, to ask
you one question as friend, and COD
fearing man, and to which pray You TO
give me plain yes or no.
eco on
- Feeling as | feel, shall be justified
before God in taking my own life ? VIII
It be a deadly sin for me to do for my
self as ! would do TO a mad dog?
Il repeat his words almost as he
spoke them. ! cannot give you the
faintest idea of the solemn deGberation
with which he put this awful question.
For some moments | could not say a
word. Then | started up and told him
would not answer him geS or H0-that
if was not fair to ask me take such a
responsibility. Then he rose, too and
SAID he must resolve it for himself, and l
saw plainly which way it would 60.
/ ''Give me till tomorrow to think IT
over said l, OBTAINING him.
Tomorrow may be too late, he re-
piled. The fit may come upon me to-
night for all l know
'''Come home with me I'm not
afraid. You won't hurt me, | said.
- i would try very hard not to do so
- butt know myself. | cannot trust
myself. Don't you trust me
= i acM trust you; but I'll do more.
You are not armed | suppose {?
90 No, he replied, with a shudder,
mot now.
| : III take G1IG lIldb you SHAH Lob bG-
and I'll carry my Derringer in my peck
ct. On the first indication of hemicid-
al mania, | give you my word I'll shoot
and I'll shoot straight
said this to satisfy him, poor fell
low In his weak state l could have
lain him down like a child. 1t did sat
} isfy him, and we went home together.
| led him to talk of our old soldering
DAYS, and gradually got him back to his
wound l made him describe the first
sensations of pain in his head, and re-
peat all that his medical advisers had
said. ! happened TO have a strong prep
aration of hasheesh by me. | gave him
T a dose, and whilst under its influence !
carefully examined his head. Now the
, head, you must know, does not fatten
or waste away in proportion to other
, parts of the body. Still his had become
mere skin and bone; and this state, per
haps, gave me an advantage over Others
: who had made the same examination.
At last | felt, or thought felt, slight
: twitching--a sort of abnormal pulsation
about two inches above the left ear.
1t might be merely nervous, but It might
be caused By tie ball.
: 81 then set my mind TO work and
? thought the whole case over steadily.
J In the first place, was that impulse to
take human life, of which my poor
friend had spoken, really uncontrolla-
BILE? For example, suppose that one
; day he did take pistol 'on purpose, and
go to that young lady's garden - would
he shoot her? To suppose that the in
sane mind never changes its purpose, or
turns from the full completion Of that
, purpose, is TO say in other words that
the insane mind is stronger than the sane
} mind. If a man with freshly broken
leg were to tell you that he was going
to run foot race, you would not believe
him, because your common sense revolts
against the idea of his running with a
disabled leg. But if one with his brain
disabled declares that he is going to do
something dependent upon the action of
, his mind, common sense does not always