davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

There is man employed as a, porter
en- railway who brags of having a
watch that keeps correct time. He
was heard to remark not many morn
ings since, upon pulling out his watch,
off the. sun amt over that hill in a
minute and halt, he will be late
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

s.Mary, my dear" said doting bus.
band to the lady chat owned him, IF
ever I turn Mormon and marry
another helpmate she shall be q Mary
too, for your own dear sake. ~
BE content with one Mary, my duck, 2
said the loving wife;sin my opinion
another would be super new-rnary. :
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

The man who has been condemned
to read the Credit Mobilier investiga-
cation through. has petitioned for a
Communication of the sentence to impris-
ionment for life. sen a5fsaf 1E59A
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

A Chicago alderman made apeech
have an hour long in support of the
question Of keeping open beer shops on
Sunday. ssWhisky," said the great
man, SIS thing which can be kept
over, from Saturday till Monday, but
Lager beer cannot.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

A four yearol female went into a
drug store the other day, and said to
the proprietor in half whisper: "lf a
little girl hain't got any money, how
1aach chewing gum do you give her
for nothing?" s-'~s@s
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
1871.
1871. t Z 1871.
MISSISSIPPI AND

1871. Ef ~ 2 1871.
ATLANTIC, MISSISSIPPI AND
-LEIO R4IL WAY.
The Great Passenger Reout
/ TO EVERY PART OF THE COUNTRY.
: The lEree Railroads heretofore existing be-
tween Norfolk and Bristol, Tenn, having been
Consolidated under the above name, is now pre-
pa to offer such Inducements to
,,sirf TRAVELLERS, tl.-
as will make it to their interest to patronize this
=, GREAT VIRGINIA RAIL ROAD LINN
/ Close connections made at Norfolk, Va, with
the Baltimore Steam Packet Company, and with
other Rail Roads. connecting at Petersburg,
Burkeville,, Lynchburg and Bristol, Tenn
This route offers every facility to the travelling
public.
! Baggage checked through and time and rates
asgood as by any other route.
First class, second class and emig grant tickets,
on sale, for nearly all prominent pointsin the
United States. a.
For further Information apply to Col. Frank
Hurger, NJ. I. Va. & Tenn. Div. Lynchburg,
Va, or address
W, W. WORD,
81. Gen. Pass enger Agent,
Feb q ncastle or Lynchburg, V
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

Gentlemens overalls for parties will
be cut more biased this season, and
short men will, when Waiting, let out
their suspenders couple Of inches.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

A medical practitioner advises his pa.
tients to ''throw physic to the dogs,
but one who has tried this says the
dogs know too much 10 take it. % I. q
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

And now Richard III is said to have
been prohibitionist. eff he, was not, :
says Spicer, .'whY4 did he stop King
Henry's bierss .,....
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

THE dearest spot on earth" has to
last been located Those wishing at
find that 'spot" will find it at the store
that does not advertise.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

eve find that he came to his death
from calling Bill johnson liar, was
the verdict of a coroners jury IN Miss
ouri -
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

A young lady in Iowa recently whip
ped out an incipient confagration with
her stockings. She had heard that the
fireman used chose. -. s.. l7.ise--
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

s.Loss of china packet ship!" ex-
claimed an old lady. s'No wonder,
when iron ones arn't always safe.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

New Jersey Legislators relieve the
1nonotony of dull session by throw
ing ''spit-balls" at each others heads.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

The best thing in the world is to
take things as they come-take them
casy-and take good many Of them.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

do you go in for the Maine Liquor
law 2" Why, partly no; go in for
the liquor, but not for the law"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

aMamma,4 asked little boy who
had been sent to dry towel before the
fire, s'is it done when it is brown?"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

Manhood How Lost, How Restored
= - Il just published, new edition OF
E Dr. CulverwelTs Celebrated
Essay on the radicalcure with
ont mediciney of SpERMAroRRH8A or Seminal
Weakness, Involuntary Seminal Losses, In
POTENCY, etc; also, Consumption, Epilepsy and
Fits, induced by selfindulgence or sexual ex-
travagance.
gH- Price, in sealed envelope, only cents.
The celebrated author, in this admirable
ssay, clearly demenstra tes from thirty years
slccessful pracfice, tkattbe alar ming cons,-
ounces ofseH abuse may be radically cured
wfhopk Ne dangerous use ofinternal medicine
orthay plicstion Of the knife; pointing out
ne. III CURE 1t once simple, certain, and ef-
f9tuat, BY means Of which every sufferer, no
Her " bxt his condition NAV be-, may eurs
ss@aek cheaply, privately. and adicsly !,
E eDDhis Lecture shostd be ia he hands OF
ayer spstlf eyer; NJ 81. an j. land. ~
8 snt 1naaer seal, il nnlsil envelope, to any
aooress postpaid, on receip. q nx cents or
!, A; 4: ]. 6: siysswsll'. .aarri.s, 0aia,,
Address tho ii lisherss
-. (5l1AS. J, G. KLINE kt(ssk
~ broadway, N X, Post dice ~ { e.
lsxtk.n 18th 4f1s : ss & a ~ TN ~
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
PROMsS ecu AN a.

The man who was hemmed in. by. a
crowd has been troubled with a stitch
in his side ever since.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
uEALTH REAUTY.
TIP % AnW VS.

Strong and pure rich blood-lncrease of flesh
and weight-Clear skin aid beauti complex
on to all,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
baltimore AND OHIO
d VI

Z LllGOIsh AIN oItIo
ID RAILROAD.
NEW ARRANGE
Quick Time from staas'ato'a n'sd Har
yisoaab,rg to Baltimore.
Commencing March IA, 1873, trains will leave
Harrisonburg daily, except Sundays, at 40
a. m. arrive at Baltimore at Il, Is q. m.
Leave Harrsonburg $40 a. IN
81 Strasburg Junction 6,lO g
Winch ester t... 1913
Arrive at Baltimore 1925 p. N.
RETURNING
Leave Baltimore $40 a. m.
8. Winchester LIZ p. M
Strasburg junction 2,06 %
Arrive at Harri onburg Az"
j" Staunton e.0O Sc
Connections 70 all points Vest made Wi h
trains on Main Line at Harper's Ferry.
~ No change of cars from Strasburg
junction to baltimore. -l-
For through tickets apply at Office 0. A. &
NJ. Il. r. at Harrisonburg.
Leave Woodstock 5,24 and connects at the
Jun elton.
l.. N. COLE, General Ticket Agent
S. B. jones General Pas sengsr Agent.
THos. r. SAAPP; Asst Master Transportation.
apr. 3, 1878. -.--.-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17

HIRGlNlA TELEGRAPH COMPANY
/, ALEXANDRIA VA,
Stockholders in this Company will peasetaks
notice that the following acting agents are this
only authorized persons to make collections Of
money for this Company viz.
. MOSES WALTON Director Woodstock.
COL. G. W. MURPHY Agent Mt. jackson
( CAPT. g. B. SAMUELS " {. Front Royal.
A A. B. TRICK Director Harrisonburg.
ROBf. BEVERLEY President, Plains.
WIN Il. TAMS agent Stanton. d
When they collect, they will also furnish the
party paying them, With certificate of Stock
;Mqney paid to any other persons except myself
will net BE- recognized. sT.,.a
GEORGE C. WEDDERBCRN
Secretary and Treasurer.
Harrisesburg Register please copys
Feb. 23-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
RADWAY'sREADY REEF


EXPLANATION OF TIE KIDNEYS.
lnHa1 alton OF the Bladder, Inflammation of the
Bowel Congestion ofthe Lungs, Sore Throat,
Diffcu. Breathing. Palpata ton Of the heart
Hys1cri, Group, Dyptheria. Catarrh, Infuen-
"a, Head she. Toothache, Neuralgia, Rheuma-
tism, Cold Chiils ague oh ills.
The apple ton Of the Ready Relieftot the
partor par is where the pc in or ditficultx ex
lists will afford case and com fort.
Twenty drops in halfa tumbier ter will
in few moments cure cramps spasms, Sour
Stomach, Heartburn, Sick headache, Diarhea,
Disentery, Collie W ind il the bowels and all
Internal pains.
Travellers should always carry bottle of
Railways heady Relief 18th them. A few
drops in water will prevent sickness from
change of water. 1t is Better than French
Brandy or Bitters as stmulant.
FEVER AND AGUE.
Fever ana ague cured for fifty cents; The
is not a remedial agent in the world that viii.
cure fever and A que, and all other Ma arious,
bilious, Scarlet, Typhoid Yellow and other
Fevers a ided by Railway 'sPills) quick as
Railways Ready Relief. Fl fifty cents per bot
tie
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
F~sNV AsN&w W en-
CARChp RTJ1A JNSOIVENT

SARSAF 4 NILLA lNOOIIV I'm
Has made the most astonishing cures, So
quick, so rapid ere the changes the body under
goes, under the influence fthis truly wonder
full medicine that
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Health and Talent.

1t is no exaggeratiOn to say that health
is large ingredient in what the world
calls talent. A man without it NAV be a
giant in intellect, but his deeds will be the
deeds of a dwarf: On the contrary, let
him have a quick circulation, gooL di-
gestion, the bulk, thews and sinews of a
man, and the alacrity. the unthinking
confidence inspired by these, and, though
having but a thimbleful of brains, he will
either blunder upon success or set failure
at defiance. 1t is true, especially in this
country, that the number of centaurs in
every communicate men in whom hero
ic intellects are allied with bodily consli-
buttons as tough as those of a hOrse-is
small that, in general. a man has reason
to think himself W. II off in the lottery o.
life if he draws n prize of healthy stom-
ach without a mind, or the prize of a fine
intellect with n crazy stomach. But of
is better than giant mind in a crazy con-
stitutiOn. A pound of energy, with an
ounce of talent, will achieve greater re-
suits than pound of talent with an ounce
of energy. The first requisite to success
in life is to be good animal. In any of
the learned professions, a vigorous con,ti-
tuition is equal to at least fifty per cent.
more Train. Wit, Judgment, Imagination,
eloquence, all the qualities of mind, attain
thereby force and splendor to which
they could never approach without it.
But intellect in a weak body is like gold
in spent swimmers pocket" A me
chanic may have tools of the sharpest
edge and highest polish; but what are
these. without a vigorous arm and hand !?
OF what use is it that your mind has be-
come vast granary of knowledge, if YOU
have not strength to turn the key ?-FTor-
ncys Press.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Female Toilets.

The first principles of good toilet are
perfectly-titting gloves and shoes; after
that g. fit ;" then, unless you are very
sure of yourself and the occasion, a color
or shade that will not commit itself or you,
and will not attract attention then spe-
cial avoidance of everything that makes
the woman and the lady of less impor-
lance than her dress, and converts her
into walking advertisement for her
dress maker, like those men who go about
in white togas, or cone-shaped frames,
with s. Buy somebody's rat or roach pow
der,'' painted all over them. Too MANY
of our ladies walk cOntentedly through the
streets suppOsing they are exhibiting
themselves to advantage, whereas they
are quite lost in the glaring recommenda-
ton of their toilet to Ego to Madam Jul
pon's.' That is precisely what all this
elaborate ornament means, and it pleases
nobody with brains) but the dfess-maker.
Therefore, use as little OF it as you please,
none at all if you prefer.
Next, if female toilets on the canvass
are to be believed, the real subtlety and
witchery of a toilet lies in its smaller adj
juncts: Il square cut neck, and a frill, u
dainty tichu, an artificial bow, the escape
OF certain curling locks. a velvet bound
about the hair, jewel at the throat, and
the blending contrast of colOrs. These
are what give character, and suggest the
woman. They require little money, but
much study of effects and artistic feeling,
and will never be achieved by those ladies
who walk through life with an evident
impression that all eyes are upon them,
and who consequently never look about
Jou17sdt.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Kitchen Utensils.

Copper stew-pans are, no doubt, the
most desirable of cooking utensils, prOvi-
ded they are always kept clean; but, in
our present system, it would be almost
impossible to have this done, and, to
avoid the danger of being poisoned we
think we must recommend those that are
pOrcelain-lined, even it they have to be
frequently replaced. There should al
ways be a marble slab for moulding bread
and pastry, and marble tables are much
better and cleaner than wooden ones. if
within the compass OF ones purse. The
objection to them is, that they occasion a
great degree of breakage, of which there
is ordinarily sufficient quota. If wool
en- tables are used, the should be of plain.
implanted wood, which neat servant
will scOur to snowy whiteness.
Each kitchen should also be provided
with some species of rooster. Ours are
all baked meats, whether for funeral or
wedding breakfast, and all the rich juice
of our various viands are dried away.
Our grandfathers rejOiced in wide fire
places, with an attachment of cranes and
hooks. In front of these they hung their
poultry, venison, beef, or mutton, while
pans placed beneath caught the drippings,
and grandmother's help occasionally just
breeched papa was detai1ed) gave the nee
essary rOtatOry movement to the cooking
food. Then followed a tin continuance
known as a Dutch oven, in which the
meats were cooked before the fire, till at
last, in the general leveling process, all
varieties of flesh and fowl found their way
into the close, dry stove oven, to have
their specific flavors blended into one uni
vel sal sameness. The present generation
of Americans have probably lost, to a
great extent, that delicacy of taste which
made each variety of food acceptable for
its own special virtues, from the very flct
that they have never had it properly pre-
pared. 1t is something like mixing va
riety of wines, and, after accustoming a
person to such a beverage, expecting him
to become a connoisseur of rare vintages
or exquisite bouquets. Iron spoons
should never be used, for they destroy the
flavor of many things. Wooden ones
may take their place, but silver is, par er
cellence, the utensil to be desired. Foo
prepared with milk should never be mixed
with ANYTHING but silyer.-Er
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Venus FIy.trap.

An exceedingly remarkable instance OF
constituencies occurs in the case of the
Venus Fly-trap" of North Carolina
(Dionea muscipula). The mid-rib of each
leaf serves as a kind of hinge. When the
inside of the blade of the leaf, or the fine
bristles which grow on its surface, are
touched by any foreign substance, the
hinge suddenly closes, and if the intruding
substance be fly or other small object, it
is Immediately imprisoned, the teeth on
the margin of the leaf closing firmly upon
one another like steel trap. the sides of
the trap then fiatten down and press firm
ly upOn.the victim, and it now requires a
very considerable force to open the trap.
If nothing is caught the trap presently re-
opens of itself, and is ready for another
attempt. With regard to the object of
this strange proceeding, there can be no
doubt that the in ect is retained until the
softer parts of the body are completely
dissolved in the thick mucous fluid which
is exuded by the leaves and Professor
Asa Gray considers that the evidence is
nearly complete that the animal matter is
actually absorbed in the leaf itself. 1t is
even stated that pieces of raw beef are di-
gesteI by the leaf in the same manner!
Seeing, however, that it is now generally
admitted by Psychologists that even pure
water is not absorbed through the pores
of leaves, which serve only for the exhala-
ton of vapOr, this explanation is very
hard of belief. The pitchers of the
or pitcher-plant, act also as fly
traps, large numbers of ins ects being en-
ticed into them by the fluid they secrete,
and are then unable to extricate them
Science Monthly for January.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
The Prince Imperial.

The young Prince Napoleon Eugene
Louis Jean Joseph was born on the 18th
of March. 1856, and is therefore now
drawing toward the completion of his
seventeenth year. While still in arms he
was placed on the muster roll of the
French Imperial Guards as private in
the regiment for, as it was intended that
he should receive a military education,
and afterwards assume military COM
mand, it was designed as compliment to
the army that he should, at least nominal
ly, go through all the gradations of the
service. When old enough to b, gin to
learn the military exercises he was put
through them with other youths of his
own age, and in this way was taught tn
bayOnet and other drills before he was
eight years old. By this time, too, he had
been made nOn-cOmmissioned officer in
his regiment, and passed step by step
through the various grades toward the
rank of colonel. But, while special at
tention was given to his military training,
his education as citizen was not neglect
ed. Besides the ordinary rudiments of
instruction he received lessons in two or
three handicrafts, the last of which was
the setting up of types in the imperial
printing office of Paris. The object of
this may have been simply to extend his
sphere of knowledge and enlarge his views
in after life; but the ability to earn liv-
ing like an ordinary individual has before
now proved valuable accomplishment
for even the heir to throne. 1t will be
remembered that King Louis Philippe.
while in exile, pursued for time the call
ing of a schOOl-master. The young
Prince Imperial bears the reputation OF
being intelligent, gOod-tempered, and
very much attached to his friends. His
baptism of fire" in front of the Prus-
slams was the only remarkable event of
his life. The late Napoleon was very
much attached to this his only son and
heir. The boy is not reported to possess
much force of character; but the world
may be destined to hear from him
Vef-EE
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Winged Men.

Some philosopher, speaking of m IN,
has said: "We have had fins we NAV
have wings" Now supposing mot for
the sake of any hypothesis have, nor to
maintain any thesis, but merely for the
sake of suggestion) supposing that man
kind have nearly reached that point of de-
velOpment in which wings are to appear,
what would be the progress? First, GER
tain abnormal individuals not winged, but
with anatomy and habits apprOXimating
to the winged type, would appear. In the
course of time their offspring, or other
abnOrmalities, would approach it still
nearer. These peculiarities being cres-
cent, not decrescent, and in certain ways
advantageous, would not vanish but be
perpetuated. Inter marriages would de-
ve.Op the type by each parent transmit
ting to and uniting in the offspring the
features which he or she severally possess
ed. Finally, the winged type established
in few individuals, sexual union would
gradually extend it, until there was a race
of winged men. With what rapidity this
process would go on in men we cannot
determine until we are able to determine
the transmitting power of the psychic
forces over the inferior forces in the hui
man frame. If fright can kill, if intense
will can avert decay, the degree of this
force acting unconsciously and continu
ously will not be easy to measure nor to
over estimate.
Nor must we lightly conclude that it
will be an impossible thing for the human
arm to develop into n human wing capa-
bic of flight i'm the air. Recent investi-
cations into the mechanism of light have
quite exploded the cxtravaoant coniec-
lures of Borelli, Navier, Babnet, Reau-
mur, and others in regard to the enor-
nous comparative superiority of the mus
cular force of birds over that OF men. The
Chevalier Chabrier, as far back as 1923, es-
tablishes that the elasticity of the muscle
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-02-01
Everything not SalubrIOus.

Minnesota has been claimed as the para
disc of cOnsumptiveS, its winters being
especially commended for their salubrity
and bracing loveliness. According to the
st. Paul Dispatch, however, the reality is
not quite so rosy, for although, as some
say, the air is so dry and pure you never
feel the cold, and chattering teeth and
sEivering bones are a rarity, and although
it is a fact that fewer people are frozen to
death in Minnesota than in any other
Northern State, yet frOstbitten toes, noses,
ears and faces are fearfully common. The
Dispatch AYERS that one is hardly fashion
able without some such trophies Of the
beauties of a Minnesota winter. ''The
bitter cold does not chill and shake per-
creeps within its defenses and nips to the
bone without warming" Ugh Pros
pero and his imps pinching the flesh of
some poor pulmOnic or rheumatic Caliban
can hardly inflict torture like this. TO
continue the picture as lin.ned by our
spirited Minnesota artist of the quill:
"Riding along with busy thou hts,
session of body and mind, the fences grow
indistinct, the thoughts wander, weird
fancies come trOOping about " it'll fantas-
tic form, the memory falls, and in con-
fused dream of wife and home the soul
steps out into oblivion without Il pang or
1t is gratifying to learn, after this, that
the thawing out process is painful and not
with such delightful emotions.
A winter residence in Minnesota, we
should Judge from the above. is hardly
suitable for one afflicted with weak lungs
or subject to acute rheumatic twiDgeS,
if possessed of a sensitive i'm
Imagination and weak cOnstitutiOn.-Ec-
change.