The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-07-30
THE sQUIREs VISITORS.

Squire Binks, retired old gentle
man, lives away down on Sixteenth
street. The other morning three old
ladies from Macon county came to his
house or q visit. They used to know
his wife before she was married. The
Squire welcomed them to his mansion,
and then went out to the barn and
swore for half an hour. While he
was soothing himself thus, his wife
called him into the house. She hand
ed him an umbrella to keep off the
sun, and said the ladies had walked
up from the depot and left some things
there for him to bring up. So he
brought them up, making two round
trips for the baskets, bandboxes, and
two black oil cloth travelling bags, all
of which the Squire discourteously
called internal old traps
As he sat in the back kitchen wip-
ing his brow, his wife brought out the
market basket and said there was not
a bit of sugar or tea in the house, and
sho remarked that while he was going
down town he might as we'll get the
molassts Jug filed. The Squire asked
her how long those old migratory pei
leans were going to stay. And she
asked him if he thought she would be
so rude as to ask them. Then the
Squire went down and laid in the
groceries. When he got back his wife
said she had forgotten something, and
thought of it just when it was too late.
She must have some corn starch. The
Squire asked her if any of the old
scarecrows had dropped the least hint
as to the duration of their visit. She
said not. The Squire looked sad and
discontented.
When he laid the paper of corn
starch on the kitchen table his wife
said they must have a Goldfish for din
ner. One of the ladies said in the
course of conversation that she was
fond of Goldfish. The Squire asked il
the old buzzards had yet committed
themselves on the extent of their pres
ent roost. She said he ought to be
ashamed of himself
When he slapped the Goldfish down
on the table with wiring, his wife got
him to bring in some water and wood
said Mrs. Spoonauger, she never din ed
without ale, and the Squire was asked
if he would 60 down and bring a bot
tie. He asked if he shouldn't GO into
the parlor and get those old cormo'
rants to make out list of what they
did like, and furthermore asked if they
were yet silent as to when they thought
of going away.
He got the ale, and for fear hC
would have to trot down town again
he hired an express wagon and loaded
it with all sorts of garden truck, &
bottle of whisky, a box of sardines
a pound of snuff, some cove oysters
dried apples, beans, smoked tongue
cut and dried tobacco, picked walnuts
canned corn, mackerel, split peas, etc
The next day the Squire was sen
down town only eight times.
Early next morning he started on
into the country to see man. Whel
he got home he asked his wife if an,
time had been set for the departure
On the evening of the following Mon
day one of the ladies said she though
they ought to start on the next Friday
so as to reach home before Sunday
Mrs. Binks said they oughtn't to b
in hurry. The Squire groaned, anC
said they ought to stay and max
their visit out. On Friday mornin
the Squire had an express wagon be
fore the door. But his wife said tn
ladies had concluded to stay over tn
} Fourth. Then the Squire went ou
to saw wood and converse with hin
J self-Peoria RevielV.