Helena weekly herald., 1873-11-27
No. I


THE Captain Jack" is the latest in paper
collars. 1t is made of noose:paper.
ROBERT TooMBs AYERS that the building of
an ox-cart is among the lost arts of Georgia.
THERE are 100000 Jews in Poland, the
number having nearly quadrupled since 1916.
DEsERTloNs, in our small army, cost the
Government, annually, from one and half
to two millions of dollars.
"A little girl of eight or ten summers be-
ing asked what dust was replied that it was
mud with the juice squeezed out.
Birdie is what young husband fondly
calls his wife, because, as he says, she is al
ways associated in his mind with bill.
THERE is report in London that DIR. Liv-
ingstone is held prisoner in entral Africa
by a tribe which demands heavy ransom.
The Rev. Miss Chaplin, of the Universal
ist Church at Iowa City, goes to an Eastern
seminary as instructor, at So, 600 per annum.
The Salt Lake Theatre has been fitted up
in grand style, and now, it is said, "excites
the surprise and admiration OF all casual
VISITORS
JOHN HAY, the chest equipped journalist in
the country" is soon to marry the daughter
of Amasa Stone, very wealthy resident of
Cleveland.
A DETROIT boy undertook to dry pound
of damp powder in an oyster can. There
was scarcely enough left of him to make
third-rate conundrum.
JOSH BILLINGS divides the human race into
three classes: Those who think it is SO, those
who think it isn't so, and those who don't
care whether it is SO or not
"THERE." said Jones, as he wrathfully
pushed away the pie which his landlady had
Just served, "that stuff isn't fit for a pig to
eat, and amt going to eat it"
The fittings of the Sherman House, of
Chicago. of Which N. G. Munson, of Boston,
is proprietor have been attached by Field,
Letter & Co. for debt of $15,877.
A New YORK chemist claims to be able to
reduce boot-legs to beef steaks. This sort OF
thing has been in successful operation at the
average boarding house for many years.
A MASS meeting of Cuban sympathizers was
held in Baltimore on the 10Th, and is said to
have been the largest and most enthusiastic
meeting ever held in that city since Kossuth's
reception.
DURING q sermon in the chapel of the
Georgia State Prison, $50 convicts struck up
''We'll all drink stone blind, and had to be
marched down stairs. They didn't like the
Chaplain.
Dickens works have been decided too i'm
moral for general reading, by the managers
of the Vermont State School Library. These
are the kind of men who attend funerals in
green kid gloves.
COLORADO land sharks are seizing all of
the government land they can drive around,
in view of the movement for general sys-
tenn of irrigation. Nearly million of acres
have already been gobbled up this season.
An elderly widow of Cincinnati has brot'
suit for breach of promise against tickle
sexagenarian suitor. which, from the effec-
tive use made of the old beau, reminds
local reporter of the battle of Age-in-court.
DIR. Ho1BRooK tells everybody to wear
white undergarments, as people sometimes
die from the effect of the dye in the colored
articl es. A man must be careful how he
clothes his person or he may close his life.
INDIANAPOLIS lost 1888, 900 by her late Ex-
position, which sum the merchants of the
city who guaranteed the enterprise will have
to make up. The result occasions some sur
prise, as it was supposed the Exposition was
successful.
An Irishman writing from Philadelphia,
recently, to his friend in the old country,
concluded letter thus: IF iver it's me good
fortune to live till dy-and God nose whether
it is so-Tll visit ould Ireland afore I lave
Philamadelify."
"A monster in human form (sic) in Maine
advertises that he will pay no more of his
wife's bills, simply because she kicked him
as easily as she footed her husband she will
not need his help.
GENERAL CUSTER was listener at Duluth
<l41
admitted that the lecturers doctrines were
good for the interior of a church, but insist
ed that man could not practice them on the
plains and save his hair.
A young man from the country, after
walking into the post office the other day and
dropping an unstamped letter into the box,
:emarked gleefully to companion as they
vent: ''Don't say anything about it, but l
,eat the government out of three cents that
ime"
PROFESSOR AGAssIZ recently answered an
INQUIRY concerning his health in this way:
mount of work which demands nay atten-
ion. Ny powers often fail me when have
most need of them"
The following tender missive was picked
ID in the ladies' sitting room at railroad
epot 'sDear Charles, do you love nae as
nuch as You did at quarter to twelve last
light? Say you do, dearest, and it will give
ne spirit to 70 down and tackle those cold
cans left over from yesterday" G
As cool person under the circumstances
8 was ever heard of was young nobleman,
Tho, in frightful railroad accident, missed
is valet. One of the guardians came up to
i'm and said: MY lord, we have found
our servant, but he is cut in two" Jaw,
he" said the young man, with Dundreary
rawl, bat still with anxiety depicted cd his
g. Will you be gwot enough to
se in which half he has gWot the key to my