Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1873-12-20
MARK II VAIN.


We publish the following amusing
story of Mark Twain. 1t is so good
that il can be read dozen times with
out injury.
| knew by the sympathetic glow
upon his bald head knew by the
thoughtful look upon his face-I knew
by the emotional flush upon the straw
berry end of the old free liver's nose,
that Simon Wheeler's memory was busy
with the olden time. And so I pre-
pared to leave, because all these symp-
toms of a eminiscence-signs that he was
going to he delivered of another of his
personal experiences-bu I was too
slow; he got the start of me. As nearly
as | can reccollect, the intliction was
couched in the following language:
"We were all boys then, and didn't
worry about nothing only to shirk
school and keepa revivin' state of devil
ment all the time. This yah Jim Wolf
| was talking about was the prentice,
and he was the best hearted feller, he
was, and the most forgiving, and one-
selfish ever see-well, there couldn't
be more bnllier boy than he was take
him how you would, and sorry enough
l was when see him for the last time.
Me and Henry was always pestering
and plastering horse bills on his back
and putting humble bees in his bed, and
SO on, and sometimes we'd crowd in and
and bunk with him notwithstanding
his growing, and then we'd let on
to get mad and fight across him, so as to
keep him stirred mp like. He was nine
teen, he was, and long, and lank, and
bashful, and we was fifteen and sixteen
and tolerably lazy and worthless.
So, that night, you know, that my
sister Mary gave candy pulling they
started us to bed early, so as the COM
pany could have full swing, and we run
in on Jim to have some fun.
Our winder lookt out onto the roof of
an eel, and about 10 o'clock couple of
old tom cats got to rarin, and chargin'
around it, carryin' on like sin. There
was four inches of snow on the roof and
it was frozen so that there was right
smart crust of ice on it, and the moon
was shining bright and we could see
them cats like daylight. First they'd
stand off and e-yow, yow-vow, just the
same as if they was cussin' one an
other, you know, and bow up their backs
and push up their tails, and swell
around and spit, then all of sudden
the gray cat he'd snatch handful of
fur out of the yaller cats ham, and spin
him around like the button on barn
door. But the yaller cat was game, and
he'd come and clinch, and the way they'd
gouge, and bite, and howl, and the way
they'd make the fur fly, it was power
full.
Well, Jim, he got disgusted with the
row, and lowed he'd climb ont there and
shake him off'n that roof. He hadn't
RELY no notion of doin' it, likely, but
we everlastingly dogged him and bully
ragged him, and lowed he'd always
Dragged how he wouldn't take a dare,
and so on, till bime-by he highsted up
the windew and low and behold you,
he went-exactly as he was, nothin' on
but shirt and it was short. But you
ought to see him. You ought to see
him creep-in' over that ice and diggin'
his toe-nails and finger-nails in to keep
from slippin', and, 'bove all you ought
to seen that shirt-tail a fappin' in the
wind, and them long ridiculous shanks
of his glistenin' in the moonlight.
Them company folks were down there
under the caves, the whole squad of
them under that ornery shed of old |
Washn'ton Bower vines-all settin'
round about two dozen sassers of hot |
candy, which the'd sot in the show to
cool. And they was laughin' and talkiu'
lively; but bless you, they didn't know
nothin' bout the panorama that was
going on over their heads. Well, Jim.
he went sneakin' up, unbeknown to
them cats-they was a swishin' their
tails, and yow-yowin' and threatening
to clinch, you know, and not payin'
any attention-he went a sne-akin'
right up to the comb of the roof, till he
was in foot'n half of 'em, and then
all of sudden he made grab for the
yaller cat! But by gosh be missed FIRE
and slipped his holt and his heels few
up and he aopped on his back, and shot
off'n that roof like dartl--wsnt siasli-
in and crsshin' down tArc' them 9la