The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-28
A head wind--a sneeze.
A corn extractor--A crow.


A serious turn-Twisting ones neck.
An application of powdered bluoing
will instantly relieve the sting of an in
sect.
Chicago real estate operator to his
wifs;GiDo you love me, dear 7" She +:
"Lots." kiss "Do you love me p
He; Corner Lots" [Ssveral kisses
SG al clergyman said the other day that
modern young ladies were not the
daughters of Shem and Ham, but the
daughters of Hem and Sham.
An editor says his ancestors have been
in the habit Of living l. undred years
His opponent responds by saying 'that
was before the introduction of capita |
punishment"
,e.i An English lady ate oysters all
o., through the month of August, when she
= gould get them, under the supposition
:, that there was an "r" in that month.
,'sOrgustp was the way she spelled it.
= An editor asserts that his ancestors
/. bavetbeep in the habit of living hun-
if5dred years. His opponent responds by
a saying that "that was before the intro
vdduction of capital punishment"
1os "A father in Massachusetts, who grew
Impatient at the prolonged stay of an
ardent admirer of his daughter, entered
- the room and invited the young man to
Saremain TO breakfast. Tho young man
eldeclined the invitation.
The other morning jenkins announced
eN the price of tickets in an advertisement
of his coming lecture, az follows; "Tick-
= cts fifty cents. Children supplied at the
tsssme rates" During the afternoon he
received orders for three and pair Of
-ltsWins.
- "A physician, on presenting HE bill to
'Sthe executor of the estate of deceased
patient, asked, "Do you wish to have
my bill sworn 2" "No," replied the
's executor "the death of the decedcnt
: is sufficient evidence that you attended
= him Professionally"
A farmers daughter ont West re oceiv-
ed hairy poodle dog from friend in
New York. The uusophisticated dam
sci wrote back thanking her friend for
the present, and saying that she found
it very handy, whom tied to stick, to
clean windows with.
F.,4s, An IBdlan complaining to n rumseller
that the price of his liquor was too high,
the latter, in justification, ssaid: That
itscost as much 90 90 keep hogshead Of
brandy as tc keep a cow" "Maybe he
:, drink SO much water" replied the Indian
i4 4"but he no eats SO much hay"
7'as,"1 am not used to begging" said a
ii little sir. to alady of whom she had ask.
Iired aims, "because only two weeks ago
= my pa was merchant "Why, how
could be be reduced to poverty SO soon ?"'
70. .'My. father took bad two dollar bill at
Ibis peanut stand, and it ruined him."
sobbed the. child
,s, "Most extraordinary" said Ssrsea Mt
aal Warren, the author of "Ten thousand
sA'a Year." who was always boasting of his
visits TO great houses: Il dined at the
. Duke of Northumberland on Monday,
be:and there was no fsh for dinner" ""No,"
'oaInried Douglas Jerrold; "they had eaten
~ itup stairs."
a'i>2"Ah!" said old Mrs. Doosenberry,
Charming isa great thing, I've often
felt the need oft. Will you believe it?
a. I'm now sixty years old, aud only know
the name ofthree months iu the year;
G aud them's spring, summer and au tumn.
/ larnt them when was little bit Of
"a gal|
josh Billings was asked, Chow fast
: does sound travel ?" His idea is tn IT
It depends a great deal upon the noise
you are talking about, "thc sound of
dinner horn, for instance, travels half
miio ia second while an invitation
tew git up in the morning have known
TO be quarters Nv an hour goin up 2
pair Of stairs. and then not have
! strenghth enufe to be heard"
81. The unjust charges of bankrupt Off
GERS have at last attracted the attention
~ Of . Virginia Judge. In the Eastern
d District Court of Virginia an order has