davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
VARIETIES.

SEE in another column the advertise
ment headed, "I VIII Help Any Nan"
"I'M going to draw this beau into .
knot, f" as the lady said when standing at
the hymeneal altar.
A VIRGINIA paper describes fence
which is made of such crooked rails that
every time pig crawls through he comes
out on the same side.
A YOUNG man, charged with being
lazy, was asked if he took it from his
father. "I think not, " was the reply;
"father's got all the laziness he ever
had"
An old lady hearing somebody say
that the mails were very irregular, said:
1T was just SO in my young dsys-no
trusting on 'em-"
The wife of q Methodist minister in
Tennessee has been seriously i'll for
some time, but, says Southern paper
in announcing the fact. "hopes are en-
tertained that she will recover" And
then it adds Let him (the husbanO
have the sympathy and prayers of his
brethren in this hour of affection and
encouragement"
An Irishman once lived with farmer
as hired man. The young folks of the
neighborhod, on one occasion, had q
party, to which they did not invite him.
Pat considered himself very much
sighted, but after cogitating the matter
for while, he frightened up, and ex-
claimed, Faith, I'll be sven with 'em
yet; I'll have party mesilf, and ! won't
invite nobody"
DURING the war one of the Northern
hotelkeepers was on visit to Norfolk.
The eggs came to the table boiled hard.
"Look here" said the hotel-keeper
"Sambo, these eggs are boiled too hard.
Now take my watch and boil some three
minutes by it." He gave the negro his
splendid gold watch. In about five
minutes the freedman returned with the
eggs and watch on the same plate. The
watch was wet. "What have you been
doing to my watch ?" asked the North
ern visitor "why, it's all wet" eyes,
sab, {" said the negro az billed de watch
wild the eggs. All right dis time, sab ?"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
AN IMMENSE CARA YANsARr.

The Grand Pacific Hotel, which is to
be opened in Chicago next week, is one
of the largest hotels in the world. The
structure covers the block bounded by
Clark, La Sale, Jackson and Quincy
streets, 325 feet from east to west, 1856
from north to south, or 60, 450 square
feet. There are in all 460 rooms, some
single and some double -bedded, some in
suites of two, others of three, and some
of five. One hundred and fifty rooms
baths, water-closets, and closet room for
trunks. All have marble mantels and
CRATES. In order to give better idea
of the dimensions of this immense
building, and to enable the reader to
feel its bigness, the following figures
are given: There went into the Pacific
Hotel 1000, 900 brick; 1000 cubic feet
of limestone and 10000 of sandstone.
In connection with these, 10000 barrels
of lime and 5000 yards of sand were
used. Over 500 tons of cast and wrought
iron, in the shape of beams, etc. 2, ,625,-
500 square feet of lumber were used in
joists, rafters, beams, ETC.; 237, 900 in
inside blinds and shutters 81 600 ineal
feet, or IS miles, in base boards, and
"a, 600 in door and window castings, and
81, 900 square feet of walnut and maple
flooring, and $1,000 of walnut and ash
ceiling, covering jointly two and three
quarter acres. There were $50 windows,
1,O7O doors and locks, and 19,415 pairs
of butts and hinges. The price of all
this carpentry work was S22O,00O. In
connection with the plumbing work,
there were used q mile and three quar-
ters of iron-soil pipe, and nearly as
much of brass hot water pipe, 6O, ,9S7
pounds of lead pipe, 5000 pounds of
solder. There went into the building
over eight miles of gas-pipe, and there
were 426 chandeliers with /, 518 burners,
and $50 brackets with 1,1SO burners,
making 2,S9S mall. Thereweretwo fifths
of mile of speaking-tubes, and thirty
eight miles of wire. There were put in
of all kinds, 80, 1SS square feet of glass,
being nearly four-fifths of an acre. Of
slate and marble tiling there is more
than half an acre. There are also 800
marble mantels and CRATES. The con-
tract price of the building was $685.
1924. Adding to that the value of
brick, marble, ETC., obtained from the
old building, amounting to S122, ,51S, the
total cost, exclusive of furnishing, of
course, was 81, ,OOO,S ,S57.94. The mason
and stone setting cost S195, 900, the lime
and sandstone $3.50, 900, the painting
and glazing So. 900, and the plastering
$65, 200.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
MERCURY IN THE SYSTEM.

Prof. Hyatt delivered lecture on
mercury IN Vienna, recently, when he
exhibited the leg bone of man whose
death had undoubtedly been hastened
by mercury. On striking the bono
heavily upon the table, out fell ll9hou-
sands of little glittering globules of
mercury-bright metz lie mercury
which rolled about upon the black sur
face before him, collecting here and
there into drops. This mercury had
been absorbed during life, undermined
the mans system, and proved fatal to
him. The mortality among those who
work in mines Of quicksilver, or In the
works where it is reduced, ID known 10
be frightful In the celebrated mines
of Idria, the men work alternately ono
month in the mines and one in the
smelting-house. But notwithstanding
this, it appears that Of the hundreds
employed there, one-tourth bscoue
salivatsd.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
OBSTINATE SCREWS

Few things are more vexatious than
obstinate scaews that refuse to move,
much less to be drawn out, and in the
struggle against screwdriver power,
suffer the loss of their heads, like con-
scientious martyrs, rather than take a
single half turn backward from the
course they have followed, and from the
position they have been forced into.
Like obstinate children, they have to be
coaxed or raped pretty hard on the
head, according to circumstances in
fact, whoever has a tight, obstinate
screw to "draw out" must keep his
temper down, and his resolution up,
quite as much to the sticking point as
the screw does. If the screw is turned
into iron and not very rusty, it is only
necessary to clear the head with the
edge of the driver, and let a few drops
of oil penetrate to the threads but,
finding that excessive heat or rust has
almost fixed the screw immutable, then
heat either by placing piece Of hot
iron upon it, or directing the fame Of
the blow-pipe upon the head, and, after
applying a little oil, turn ont gently;
but care must be taken not to let the
tool slip so as to damage the notch. If,
however, the screw refuses to come out,
try to force it back with a blunt chisel,
smartly but carefully tapped with light
hammer but, if evidently nothing can
dislodge the enemy, it is best to cut
the head away and drill out the screw.
When an obstinate screw happens to be
in wood, merely give it q few taps on the
head but failing in that, heat it with
a piece of hot iron, when it will turn out
easily.-Hu6.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
AFRICAN PROVERBS.

At the bottom of patient waiting lies
heaven.
Hope is tho pillar that holds up the
world.
Hold a true friendship with both
hands.
If the stars were leaves, many people
would sleep out Of doors.
All the flowers on tree do not pro-
duce traits.
The partridge loves peas, but not those
going into the pot with itself.
A poor man has no friends.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
ALPHABET OF SHORT RULES.

ALPHABET OF SHORT RULES.
Attend well to your business.
Be punctual ir your payments.
Consider well before you promise.
Dare to do right.
Envy no man.
Faithfully perform your duty.
Go not in the path of vice.
Have respect for your character.
Know thyself.
Lie not for any consideration.
Make few acquaintance.
Never profess what you do not prac-
tice.
Occupy your time in usefulness.
Postpone nothing that you can do now.
Quarrel not with your neighbor.
Recompense every man for his labor.
Save something against o day of
trouble.
Treat everybody with kindness.
Use yourself to moderation.
Vilify no persons reputation.
Watchfully guard against idleness.
Xamine your conduct daily.
Yield to superior judgment.
Zealously pursue the right prth.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06

ALL the departments of the Vienna
Exposition are filed with goods, except
that of the United States, which is still
empty. So speaks the cable. Well,
well, the lesson is severe one, and it il
hoped the next worlds exposition will
find the nation triAe better prepared.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
THE Hartford Courant. hayino

The Hartford Courant, having thor
oughly collated the facts, concludes that
no engine can run more than sixty miles
an hour. 1t adds that some of the fast
est runs have been twenty-six miles in
thirty minutes, from Springfield to Hart
ford eighteen miles in twenty minutes,
from Meriden to New Haven ifty-four
miles in fifty-eight minutes, on the Bos-
ton and Albany road. One, at least, of
these trips was made solely against
time.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06

DIaNIFIED clerk" Are you going to
marry yourself?" Facetious Patlander
-"Arrah, now when did iver ye hear
tell of q gintleman marrying himself !?
Shure there's lady goin' to be married
along wild me y
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
BABY BUNTING.

lin Tom Hughes I" Memoir of Brother" the
/. poem written by George Hughes, prompt,
NJ the Emperor Napoleon's dispatch
me- Empress about little Louis having passt
brourh his baptism Of nre, that is very notabl
uhst recent effusion is SO charged with fierce az
,itier scorn?l
By! baby Bunting,
Daddy's gone a-hunting,
Bath of human blood TO win,
To float his baby Bunting in.
By, baby Bunting.
What means this hunting?
Listen, baby Bunting
wounds-that you may sleep at ease,
Death-that you may reign in peace,
Sweet baby Bunting.
Yes, baby Bunting!
Jolly fun is hunting!
Jacques in front shall bleed and toll,
You in safety gorge the spoil,
Sweet baby Bunting.
Mount baby Bunting,
Ride to daddys hunting!
On its quiet cocky horse,
Two miles in the rear, Of course,
Precious baby Bunting.
All, baby Bunting!
Oftentimes a-hunting,
Eager riders get spill
Let us hope your daddy WILL
Poor little Bunting!
Perpend, my small friend,
After all this hunting,
When the train at las moves on,
Daddy's gingerbread " "saion"
May get shunting.
Poor baby Bunting!
Curse on such a hunting!
Woe to him who bloods child
For ambitious visions wild.
Poor baby Bunting!
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06

The difference between q country
and city greenhorn is, that the one
would Like to know everything, and the
other thinks he can tell him.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06
RATHER PRETTY.

THEIR PRETTY.
A pretty little maiden
Had . pretty iittie dream,
A pretty little wedding,
Was the pretty little theme,
A pretty little bachelor
To win her favor tried,
And asked her how she'd iike TO b
His pretty little bride.
with some pretty little blushss,
And . pretty little sigh.
And some pretty little giances
From Q pretty little eye;
With pretty little face.
Behind i pretty little fan,
She smiled ON the proposals.
OF this pretty little man.
Some pretty little loves"
And some pretty little "dears."
And some pretty little smiles
And some pretty little tears;
Some pretty little presents,
And pretty little kiss,
Were some pretty little preludes
To some pretty little bliss.
This pretty little lady
And her pretty little spark
Met the pretty little parson
And his pretty little clerk.
A pretty little wedding ring
United them for life,
A pretty little husband,
And pretty little wife.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06

A MAN writing Of the weather says
"The backbone Of winter is broken
but the tail wags yet occasionally"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-06

An impecunious swell went to three
balls at once-the pawnbrokers.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24
Remarkable Case Of Tattooing.

The following is an account in the posses
sion OF the War Department of remarka-
BILE case of tattOOing on q recruit examined
by Assistant Surgeon H. +. Brown, at Fort
Ontario, New York, in 1851. The man was
a sailor, and the work took four years to
complete it. Shortly after his examination
he deserted; was captured, and last year
was serving out term of imprisonment on
Governors Island. The painting was in five
or six cOlors, and is described az follows:
I. Right arm-Epaulet on shoulder, and
just underneath coat, of arms OF the
United States. On the arm was q full
length figure Of Britannia; . c0cOanut tree.
On forearm . dancing girl; q mermaid; .
ship under full sail On the wrist brace
let, and on the back of the hand flower,
a fverayed star, and q devil with tail and
horns complete. t4. ..r.
2 Left arm-Epaulet on shoulder,
wreath of flowers extending around the
arm Just beneath; sailor; Goddess of
Liberty; butterfly: y Maltese cr0ss;
naked woman; q ship ct anchor, and an
other sailor holding the British flag. Near
the elbow basket of flowers; thistle and
q shield. On tho forearm. . crucifx; 8
woman holding flag; IN Indian temple.
On the wrist a bracelet, and on the back Of
the hand bundle Of flags on staffs.S
3. Breast-Eight stars, three ships, .
dancing girl, q sailor astride q rum cask.
a. Abdomen-A girl holding q basket Of
flowers on her head; . negro playing the
banjo; a British flag; sailor on horseback;
two crossed flags; two American flags; St.
George on horseback, killing the dragon,
and the sea serpent. 81
S. Thighs and Legs-A sailor on topmast
Of vessel, q Goddess of liberty astride ap
eagle; tree of life; a dancing girl is p,.ris
naturalibus. Legs-Amphitrite riding in
shell; . whale; another dancing girl;
flower pot; . Highlander; cruc!fix; and
five dancing girls about the feet.
6. Back-TwO women; two shipe;
sailor holding flag; and large picture Of
Mszeppa riding the wild horse.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24

For years women have weakly protested
against their inequality with the tyrant man
in the matter of pockets, for whereas one
solitary receptacle for handkerchief, purse,
gloves, knife, tablets and vinaigrette il all
that fate and fashion grant to lovely woman,
man has pockets of all shapes and sizes.
situated in all parts Of his dress, to gay
nothing of the ample storage room offered
by his hat. But now the leather belt comes
to the relief Of the tair sex, and they make
good use Of it. Fully equipped, young
lady wears hanging to the Russia leather
band which encircles her slender waist
eight articles. namely: Sun umbrella, vina-
igrette. pocket book, fan, bunch of keys.
glove buttoner small case for thimble and
scissors, handkerchief, and on Sundays an
ornamental prayer book. Old gentlemen
and sober young men say that ladies thus
adorned look like fools, but this is only
masculine envy. No longer does she envy
her brother mans pockets, since she now
has place in which to put all her posses
sions, and moreover, place which does
not conceal them like pocket, but allows
them to blaze forth in glory, and excite the
envy of all her cousins, sisters-in-law and
other enemies. Belts will give a death
blow to Bloomerism.-Boston Globe.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24

, u0lsETA16Y.s riio 81


-4A0YVlOD - I'm DAILY kUkUDL1OAA.l
Rs Zkg SAruRDAx BvMue. AusustS3 1873.
money m.rs S so4 on
the street The offerings et the banks were iigh.
No transactions worthy Of note were reported
C'esrfne House banks showed some falling of IN
deposlts and currency and slight increase in dis.
conts wecontinue to quote first class paper at go
Al st Il and second class at -0ls; frst class
mortgage still rules 1t sole and second class At L.
NEW ORLEANS CLEARrNo HOUSE.
E~t7 fr Clssrlngs: Balances
Same time last week. s76, $50 81 los 2s6 90
Total last week....... 4643 939 IL .b 6.6.47t 46
Total week before. 41lsyS93 10 7oa las 40
Gold opened st lisa. 0llsa. against Ilss At sex
iisss ISL alis assinst rss in that market Ths sales
ircluded 5000 at ll5s, and $1,000, $4,000 and
No sales Of silver were reported. American half
delars were still quoted at 1887 0losh and Mex, II
eau dollar. at \ p cent premium in gold both for
Under the course of gold and bills at New York
sterling exchange closed I, y cent lower than yes
Ths sales S 70 40 a5 &
bank at :, aud 8 1900 do for remittance at l25
At the CLOSE sterling bills were quoted st. 81 iZk
for bank and francs al 1854 ior privste and nomi
nal at 40 iOr bank.
The offerings Of domestic exchange wefe Of mod
The sales covered 10 600 sight on New York. en-
braeing $500 commercial and SIC, 600, SlS.0oo,
SIS OOJ and > Is 900 bank, sll st s-l6 p cent pre-
MUM.
The banks continued to check on Ne York az I
p cent premium, and private sight was still
quoted at SIG.
New Orleans Mutual Insurance Association at
so So
We noticed quite an active movement IN CITY
gold bearing seven per cent bonds, the sales and
resales OF which rumneJ up $lO0 900. embracing
S35 OpO at 62L 5 10 900 at 6lh 00O at g. and
q 40 np Ar They closed at-D63.
City appropriation certificates were nominal at
53059. -
The only sale OF METROPOLITAN Police warrants
was s LOCO ct 79k. They closed at 180I9.
8rsham State warrants closed at 42043, and
Clinton State warrants at~056. Ne ssles OF either
were reported. -
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24

The Rev. Moncure d. Conway, in arecent
lester from LondVn to the Cincinnati Com.
snercial, says:
sir. Spurgeon is credited with the follow
ing, which, if not true. is ben trorato. He is
said to have been taken to task by some
Sabbatarian since he has found it necessary
to employ brougham TO take him to church:
But he urged, IL only sit in the car
riage-I don't work." "Ah! yes. SIR" said
the other "but your coachman-tbink OF
him "Oh. he is JeRs and keeps the sew.
entb day Sabbath" "But your horse!'
"Oh" said Spurgeon, getting a little impa-
.tient. "he is jew, too -
This reminds me of another little story
going the rounds concerning one of our
Broad Church clergymen. who, being re-
Gently on an excursion in Scotland, was We.
hemently rebuked by his landlady for tax
ing q walk on Sunday afternoon. The
clerg yman said he could not see the harm,
and said: "You know that we read that
our Lord h:mself walked with His disci-
ples in the field on the Sabbath day.
i.Av," said the old lady, "ay, ken it. an l
ne'er thoct aay the better O. Him for it,
neither!"
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24
MARKETS.
Oomostic Markets.

Nav YORK, August %, Bvenipg.-Cot.on closed
.suiet and steady; middling uplands zoe. Sales
today 2as5 bales; net. receipts 2!5; gross 3ss
sales of futures 1900 bales az follows August
Is 2l.32c; September, 10 7-32c; October II 25s2c;
November. II 1890; December, 17ac.
Breadstuffs quiet and unchanged. Wheat &c
higher, light supply: new winter red 81 81. Corn
opened l12c higher, closed quiet advance partial
lv lost Pork steady; $l8 l2s Gl8 25. Lard weak.
Navals and groceries quiet. Freights steady.
Money closed easy at 4d4h. Gold l157s dll6; in
active. Governments dull; little doing prices un-
Changed. state bonds nominal and unchanged.
Money was easy this afternoon at 4042. with .
few exceptional loans at g. Exchange dull. Gold
was less active and lower at the opening; market
rm at l16 01i6a but afterward fell off to 1854;
closed at l1sA Oils Money rates for carrying, T. 8.
s. Az. 5, audi
'ClScIySArl, August % Cotton firm; mddling
Iskc. Flour quiet Sc 600 Sc IS. Wheat in fair de.
maud; market firm; 81 30. Corn firm; asa &c. Oats
quiet and unchanged. Provisions steady. Mess
Pork nominal, Sl6 500$l7 90. Lard quiet and
nominal; steam 808l.c, kettle 81 63lc. Bulk
meats steady; Shoulders Sasc; clear rib 9kc clear
2s.. Bacon iIm shoulders &c; clear rib $40 300
Slo 37Mc; clear lOac, Whisky firm at e6c.
sr. Louis. August 23-Cotton dull and un-
changed. Flour quiet and unchanged. Wheat
iu fair demand; prices advanced; No. 3 red S 30;
No. . red winter 81 As Corn frmer; No. mixed
81 a 33c on track 391s d4Oc in warehouse. Oats dull
No ., ied29ac. whisky held at e6c; no sales. Pork
quiet at $16 Is. Bacon dull; only limited jobbirg
demand Lard quiet; summer .ac. s. ,D,a-
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24
Brain Worry.

Many of us pray to be delivered from
sudden death, and DO we worry ourselves
into it, If we do. can we help it' To most
of US it is not given 60 choose our lives, to
avoid the rough places, to gently shoulder
to one side disagreeable facts. We must
climb over the roughs though they hurt us
sore, and the difficulties, however they may
annoy us, must be met with brain fret and
wear until they ars-oonquered, or We have
passed them. They are as real, living. an
roying, as any tangible ache or pain could
be- as brushing and irritating as the peas in
the shoes of the pilgrim OF old. Nervous
health is one thing, and moral health and
purely physical health is quite another and
different thing. Calm aud steady mental
work is conclusive to long life; but nervous
emotion, mental work that is constant urg-
ing. and, at the same time, is an unhinging
of the even tenor Of the mind, eats away
the brain faster than any mental labor, no
matter how hard, that is systematic. AS
men do not really die of heart disease as
often a. supposed but Of spoplexy, or con-
gestion of the lungs, 80 they Do not die of
brain work. but of brain worry. Scott died
of it; Southey. Swift, Horace Greeley, and
probably Thackersy.-London Times.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24

A Methodist preacher, having a charge in
the southern portion Of Giles county, went
to call upon one Of his members not. long
ago. and was very cordially greeted: and
earnestly entrested to make himself per.
fectlv at home. The lady then stepped ont
to .swring" the chicken, and when she came
hack found the pars0n In the act OF taking
.uo the ashes from the fireplace and putting
them in the scuttle. preparatory to carry,
ing them out
.Iou told me to mako myself ct home,
smsdam, and If I'd been at homo ana iouno
an these ash os in the fireplace, would Ger;
tainly have taken them up"
Wi{ted. did she! Don't you bet on
.f,iies county lady being thus easily out
Witted. Sue won't straight to the Kitchen
stuck every feather back ON that chicken:
sewed its head ON, and turned It Loose ana
shs smart preacher didn't get bite OF it.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-24
SHERIFFS SALES.

Jean st. Martin vs.. Mrs. Mary E. McFar-
lane. wife of Alexander Walker and her hus-
band
CIXTH DISTRICT COURT FOR THE PARISH
- of Orleans. No. 4999.-By virtue of q writ
of seizure and sale to me directed by the honorable
the Sixth District Court for the parish of Orleans
in the abeve entitled cause. will proceed TO sell
at public auction at the Merchants and Auc tiopeers
Exchange, Royal street, between Canal and Gus
city, on SATURDAY, September 20, 1873 at twelve
O'Clock NJ. the following described property, to
wit
TWO CERTAIN LOTS OF GROUND. together
with all the buildings and improvements
thereon, and all the rights, ways privileges
and advantages thereunto belonging OF in
anywise appertaining, situated in the Firss
District OF this city, in the square bounded
by Rampant. North Poydrss, Basin and Perdido
streets, designated by tho numbers nine and ten
on the P'an Of the same and other lots, made by
dated the first day Of September 1855, and annexed
to an act passed before Hugh Madden, late notary
public In this city on the eighth of Septenbsf,
1865, and puIpOrtnG to be an act Of partition
among the heirs Of James McFarlane; which said
lots adjoin each other, and measure each twenty
0ve rect seven inchee seven lines 'front.' on North
poydras street, twenty five feet seven inches two
unes in width in the rear, and niDety.fve feet
three inches four lines in depth; said lots Of ground
herein, Mrs. Mary E. McfarIane, wife of Alexander
Walker, As PEE said act Of partition above referred
TO- passed before aaid late notary. Madden, on the
eighth day Of September. 1865.
Seized in the above suit.
Terms-cash on the, spot
ssac3l $40 sbsrie Of the Pasiab q 0yleana