Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-03-06
DON'T CALL A MAN LIAR.


Never tell man that he is liar, unless
you are certain that you can lick him, for as
a general rule, when you say that, it means
fight.
I have arrived at this conclusion through
sad experience. I know that it is not safe to
give the lie to a muscular Christian.
1 did once. I am sorry for it now, as I
never grieved for any thing else in the whole
course ofmy life.
We were standing on the sidewalk in front
of the club, when made the statement. We
had been talking politics, and men who talk
politics and get hot over it, are-to put it
mild dly-lunatics, or else want Office, or have
some friend who wants an office. This man
made an assertion, touching the fair fame Of
my favorite candidate, which l believed to be
untrue. 1t is probable that if it had been
true as it was false I should have taken the
same course, because, you understand, man
has no sense who talks politics, anyhow.
think I said that before, but it's all the same.
I want to make it strong, and get you to un-
derstand how got my ornamental eye.
I mildly suggested that man who would
make such statement as that was lost to all
sense of shame, and would be guilty of any
base crime.
He disagreed with me on that point. AS
for himself, he never made statement, except
on the most ample proof: My candidate was
the meanest villain yet unhung.
told him he lied
have been kicked by mule; have fallen
out of second story window on hard pave
ment; eaten green persimmons; heard Miss
Blow read poetry for two hours and a half;
skated hunted; rode sharp-backed horse
of mustang parentage, an adept in the art of
"bucking;" suffered grief Of various kinds,
and still clung to life; but all these are feath-
ers in the balance, as compared with the re-
suit of that little word, liar!
Immediately after saying it, I sat down.
not in the way people usually sit down.
sat on the rim of my right ear, about ten
feet from the spot where [ had been standing,
when I made use of the expression quoted
above. I am not used to sitting in that posi-
ton, and do not think it agrees with me-
I have heard of people who "got up on their
ear" and walked off, 1 wish l knew how to
do it, and 1 would have propelled myself
away from the spot Immediately, if had pos
sessed this happy faculty. l proceeded to
bring myself to a perpendicular, fully intend
ing to use the means of locomotion which ma
ture had given me; but when [ came right
side up, something heavy ran against my
nose, and as felt very tired, [ sat down upon
my other ear. I like change; it is too mo-
notonous doing the same thing over and over
again. ,
Somebody took my large friend away, and
I was quite pleased when he was gone. l
have concluded to look twice at man before
1 give him the lie again. My eye isin mourn
ing; my nose swelled to the size of a citron,
with the color of blush rose; and my store
clothes look as though they had been run
through patent sausage machine. would
not have that mans temper for anything IN
the world.
"WHAT's IN A NAME" ."-This question has
sorely puzzled the minds of great men in all
ages, from the time of Shakespeare, at least,
down to the present unhappy era; and we
find that there are divers opinions prevalent
in the world as to whether "a rose by any
other name would smell as sweet"
Be this as it may, however, there is suHl'
cient Importance attaching to names as to re-
quire careful study, occasionally, to give
appropriateness or to avoid unseemly conse-
quences. We have case in point, as related
last week to US in Columbia, which fully illus
trates our meaning. 1t appears that Niles
G. Parker, so widely known as the custodian
of State finances when things went along
swimingly in that department, is engaged at
present in erecting an extensive building on
Main street, in Columbia, portion of which
is to be used as public hall for theatrical en-
tertainments, and the like One morning
last week, he was viewing the fair proportions
of the building, in its rapid progress toward
completion, when he was Joined by an emf
nent and astute Judge, who is famed as a no.
menclator, no less than for other requirements
of an unusual character
Quoth the Judge to the late Treasurer
"Parker, what name do you propose for the
new hall /" In solemn manner, the ex-treas-
urer replied that he was considering the pro-
priety of calling it "Parker's Hal" to which
the Judge responded: "Oh, that will never
dop "Why not?" asked Parker. "For the
simple reason that the people might not agree
in the spelling, as they would probably render
it hail." The point was instantly compre;,
hendcd by the ex-trcasurer, who is supposed