The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-01-18
ANECDOTES.

up mowers, ana putting them out on tn
walk to tease people.
ANECDOTES.
DoHERrY, the late Chief-Justice of Ire
land, used to tell good story of his posting
days. He was going circuit in a post
chaise, and at dangerous part where the
road skirted descent, one of the horses
who had behaved wildly all the way, began
kicking furiously. Much alarmed, Doherty
called out This is outrageous! / don't
think that horse has ever been in harness
before" Bedad, your lordships right
he was only took out of the field this
morning" "And do you mean to tell me
that you have put an unbroken horse to my
carriage?" "Sorra a sight of the leather
he has ever seen till to-day. And if he
brings your lordship safe to the fut of the
hill, the master says he'll buy him.! ="
AFRAID OF HER.-A few days ago Mr..
FL. was sent by his employer to do some
work in house on -- street. When
be called he found a company of ladies pres
ent, and remarked to the lady of the house
that he thought it best to take the work
into the yard.
"On, no, no." said she, it is cold in the
yard, and you can work in this room where
it is nice and warm"
But" said H., Z" I shall litter the room.
and besides, well, I'd rather work in the
yard"
"Oh, yes-I see-you are afraid of the
ladies, eh! said she. q | declare, l Won
der how you happened to get married"
Well said H., I'll tell you all about
it. l happened to meet one once that
wasn't afraid of, and she took advantage of
it, and before l knew what was up she had
me fast enough, and Ire been AFRAID Of her
ecer Since!"
MADE HIM PAY.-When General Jack
son was President a heartless clerk in the
Treasury Department ran up an indebted
ness to poor landlady to the amount of
500, and then turned her off as he did other
creditors. She finally went to the Presi-
dent with her complaint, asking him if he
could not compel the clerk to pay the bill
He offers his note" she said "but his
note is good for nothing"
:" Get his note, and bring it to me-" said
the President.
The clerk gave her the note, with the
Jeering request that "she wonld let him
know when she got the money on it
Taking it TO the President, he wrote
Andrew jackson" on the back of it, and
told her she would get the money at the
bank.
When it became due, the clerk refused
to pay the note but when he learned who
was the the endorser, he made haste to
raise the wind" The next morning, he
found note on his desk, saying that his
services were no longer required by the
Goverument-and it served him right.
ANECDOTES OF LANB.-Charles Lamb
said grace before reading Milton, saluted
Homer with kiss, went to the theatre to
see his own farce acted, and Joined in the
Kisses OF the pit when it failed told Barry
Cornwall not to invite a certain lugubrious
gentleman to dinner because his face would
cast damp over funeral struck into hot
controversy between Coleridge and Holcroft
as to whether man as he is or man as he is
to be is preferable, and settled the dispute
by saying. Give me man as he is not to
be. )" Mr.. Lamb" said the head clerk at
the India House, you come down very
late in the morning" "Yes, SIR" Mr..
Lamb replies, but then you know l 20
home very early in the afternoon And
then, in despair with such life of drudgery
he exclalms: Confusion blast all mercan-
tile transactions, all traffic, exchange of
commodities, intercourse between nations.
all the consequent civilization and wealth,
and amity, and link of society, and getting
rid OF prejudices, and knowledge of the face
OF the globe and rot all the frs of the for
est, that look SO romantic alive and die into
desks" kamb's misery strikingly illus
trated the fact that to men of vivid imag-
ination and strong literary tastes every
kind of mercantile business is utterly dis
tasteful.
Or CONFESSIONAL certain king, named
Asmodeus, established an ordinance BY
which every malefactor, taken, and brought
before the Judge, should declare three truths
against which no exception could be taken.
or else be capitally condemned. If, how
ever, he did this, his life and property should
be safe. 1t chanced that certain soldier
transgressed the law. and fed He hid him.
self in the forest, and there committed
many atrocities, despoiling and Staying
whomsoever he could lay his hands upon.
When the judge of the district ascertain
ed his haunt, he ordered the forest to be
surrounded, and the soldier to be seized,
and brought, bound, to the seat of judg.
ment. "You know the law" said the
Judge "I do" returned the other: "if |
declare three unquestionable truths, |
shall be free but if not, l must die.'-
"True," replied the Judge: "take, then,
advantage Of the laws clemency, or un-
dergo the punishment it awards, without
delay" "Cause silence to be kept" said
the soldier, undauntedly. His wish being
complied with, he proceeded in the fol-
lowing manner: THE first truth is this:
1 protest before ye all, that from my
youth up, have been bad man." The
Judge, hearing this, said to the by-stand-
ers, "He says true." They answered.
I" Else, he had not now been in this sit
uation." go on, then," said the Judge.
/" What is the second TRUTH" II like
not" exclaimed he, athe dangerous situ-
alton in which i stand. - Certainly"
said the judge, ave may credit thee.
Now, then.- for the third truth and thou
hast saved thy life" Why" he replied,
if oncs get out of this confounded
place, # viii never willingly re-enter it,
aAmenF said the Judge. "Thy wit hath
preserved thee 20 IN peace" And thus