Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-10-02

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us-take Garrison's for instance-will
take into its capacious paunch, all the
logs your artificial pond can suck in.
land call it only lunch. Why Ed,
you couldn't find log with the lantern
of Diogones. Our boom as compared
with your little duck pond is like the
Ocean beside Lake Michigan, and if
our logs didn't have to float by the
gaping mouths Of your half starved
timber-fenced pockets, our mills would
probably make more saw dust, and the
"E.nporinna Of the Pinery' be obliged
to invest msnre money in logging than
ever before, but-Ed, come down
and see our little advantages, and make
the acquaintance of the Tribune and
Reporter. We arm mad, because all
the water we get in the river has to
come from the Point. Not bit.
Come down, Ed.
MIR. Scott, of the firm of Clark &
Scott, has retured from "below",
whittier he has been attending the sales
of lumber from their excellent mill in
Rudolph. The faces Of these en-
terprising gentlemen bring back to
us recollections of the time when we
three were younger the twain the
trusted and honored representatives of
a princely dry goods house at old IS,
and we selling drugs at old 211, Genesee
St., in the beautiful city of Utica, in
the grand old Empire State.
Last week, a disabled engine on
! the G.. B. & l.. P. r. r. whose cow
catcher had assumed vertical position
while following behind the freight train
going east to seek repairs at the Bay,
became mixed up with COW who tried
to slide through between the "freight"
and the cripple. She met with poor
success however, for although that cow
catcher was out Of the business, the
forward trucks were ready for the beef
business, and that cow will never again
be new mllks COW her days of use
fulness were passed so quickly, her
dexter hoof will never again beat a
moving reveille upon the tin bucket,
nor cause the "maiden all forlorn" to
cast shy glancas over her shoulder to
see if anybody is looking when she
picks herself up in the future. Poor
bossy!
There is one thing we do wish
with all our heart 1t is this If folks
must let their cows "lay out" o nights,
we wish they would instruct them to
lay either off the walks or at right an
giles with them, or if they can't succeed
in imparting such instruction, we wish
they would get the wide horned breed.
We much prefer falling across a COW
than going over her lengthways. We
earnestly protest against festooning a
bovines horns with our bowels; such
ornamentation may look very fine but
it is very unpleasant for us, and dam
aging to our health, besides it does the
COW no good. We are willing to ex-
change bowel or two of mercy with
almost any COW, for little of the milk
Of bovine kindness. but to make spe-
cialty of so doing, we wont, It's I'M
healthy.
| And now Barnum proposes to
bridge tho Atlantic with balloon.
Since the Graphic failure. "P. I. "
has got his dander up and vows that he
will spend $4,000 if necessary to do
the little thing. The great Snowman
says I'll trust the public will believe
that if l put my hand to the rlow, l
shall not look back" What Barnum
proposes to do with a pillow in con-
nection with the enterprise is query,
probably he will attempt to subsoil the
ETHEREAL blue. If all those wild ami
mails we helped to tame when boy, in
our Geography Of the Heavens, don't
look sharp, Barnum will cage every
mothers son of 'em.
The young lady who was recently
made bare-footed on the top of her
head by her hair catching in a revolv-
ing pully, in single mill in Oshkosh
is, through her physicians, soliciting
donations of bits of scalp from sympa-
thizing friends wherewith to replace the
capillary coating Of that CHASTITY skull.
It must be they intend to make piece
of patchwork of that head both orna-
mental and useful. When the hair be-
gins to grow won't it look like flower
oardan2 We can't snare any scalr