The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-08-23

| Grant isn't bit like Cesar, nor like
| Caesars wife cither.- Cincinnati CONNER
cidl. ..' .
| Lydia Thompson is going to marry her
| business manager. Ten to one he doc5n c
manage her.-LoreH Courier
! A Wisconsin man. has found that green
| cranberries will cure the dyspepsia, and in
cholera times the cure is sudden.
| A Beloit editor takes it upon himself to
say that "cowS, elephants, or rhinoceroses
may run gracefully, but women never
| "Tbe one thing" says Jean Paul, (which
a maiden most easily forgets is how she
looks-hence mirrors were invented"
! The right answer first guess-What is the
use Of the Liberals fooling away any more
time with the Democratic party p Cincin-
natl Commercial. None.-Boston Post.
| George Francis Train says he does not care
to return to America until his dead body is
brought back for burial. Well, goodbye,
| old fellow. Don't forget to remember not TO
write Cincinnati Commercial.
| The murder of printer in this office yes
terday by one Of the editors of this paper
may he explained and justified in q very few
words. The editor wrote the following SEN
tence: "No undigested sin was lying on bis
conscience" and the late typo made it read,
g An old white hen was laying on bis con-
science" The editor was discharged yes
terday, on the ground of "commendable
homicide" and complimented highly by the
Court on bis promptness.-AAdnta Herald.
| Texas vigilance committees ride up to a
lhouse and shout, SIS Smith in:" Mrs.
Smith comes to the door and replies in the
negative, when the leader continues, 81
knew he wasn't; he's hanging to q black
| jack over thar" Then Mrs. Smith goes in,
gathers her boys on her knee, and tells them
how hard it is to steal horse in Texas and
| escape punishment. -Detroit Free Press. ? ,
Inasmuch as Ben. Buffers back pay was
the smallest amount that be ever stole at any
one time, we can't see why people are making
such fuss about it.-LoutsUiHe Courier. 49,
An enterprisiug Trenton (Mch.) girl OF
sixteen the other day jumped from the ears
under full motion. and picked herself up
and climbed rail fence before the train eoud
be stopped. W r.. ,s,..,:1 .......
The man who doesn't like Mount Wash
;pcton because he can't stand to climb lt,
should keep quiet. He will hud 1t precious
hard work to run it down.
An enthusiastic African, who had spent de
winter in Janlaky,n found it an earthly para
disc. He said he could " lie abed, and, put
ting his arms out de windy, pick oranges,
pneapples, and Jamaca rum right of the
trees" ~
An exchange says: "The Nebraska In
dams are allowed to- ride free on all trains
they can jump on while the latter are in mo-
ton. The tribe is being reduced very rap.
idly. This is by all odds the most effective
and economical system Of dead-heading on
record" /
In western State there was occasion in
suit before justice to require security
from two persons in behalf OF the plaintiff
for the costs of prosecuting the action, and it
was agreed by the plaintiff IS two counsel
that they should both sign themselves.
The senior did SO, and turning to his junior,
whose reputation through the country Was
that of jolly, clever, impecunious fellow,
who never paid anything, remarked: =" Now.
D., it is your turn" D. looked at the paper,
and then in u quizzical way shook his head,
and remarked : ono, on the whole ] guess
Iwont dilute the security"