Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-12-20
TRYING AN EXPERIMENT.

He came in with an interrogation
point in one eye and stick IN one
hand One eye was covered with
handkerchief and one arm u Sing.
His bearing was that of man Win q
settled purpose IN view.
want to see, says he, the man
that puts things into this paper"
We intimated that several Of US
earned frugal livelihood in that way.
We'll I want to see the man which
cribs things out of the other papers.
The fellow who writes mostly with
/ shears, you understand"
We explained to him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among us,
driven to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas
and events, and by the clamorous de-
mands of an Unsuitable public, in mo-
ments of emotional insanity plunged
the glittering shears into our exchang-
es. He went off calmly, but In voice
tremulous with suppressed feeling and
indistinct through the recent loss Of
half dozen or so of his front teeth
Just so, | presume so. don't
know much about this business, but |
want to see man, the man that print
ed that little piece about pouring cold
water down a drunken mans spine of
his back, and making him instantly Sc
Der. If you please, want to see that
man. would like to talk with him"
Then he leaned his stick against our
desk and moistened his serviceable
hand and resumed his hold on the stick
as though he was weighing it. After
studying the stick minute, he added,
In a somewhat louder tone:
Mister, | came here here to see
that ere man. Iwant to see him bad. "
We told him that particular man
was not in.
Just so. Ipresume so. They told
me before | come that the man want
ed to see wouldn't be anywhere I'll
wait for him. L live up north,
and I've walked seven miles
to converse with that man. | guess
I'll sit down and wait.
He sat down by the door and refee-
lively pounded the floor with his stick,
but his feelings would not allow him 20
keep still.
i suppose none of you didn't ever
pour much cold water down any drunk
en- mans back to make him instantly
sober, perhaps?"
None of US in the Office had ever
tried the experiment.
Just so. | thought just as like not
you had not. Well, mister, | have. |
tried it yesterday, and l have come
seven miles on foot to see the man that
printed that piece Ii want much of
u piece, don't think: but | want to
see the man that printed it, just few
minutes. You see, John Smith, he
lives next door to my house, when I'm
to home, and he gets how-comes you
so every little period. Now, when he's
sober, he's all right if you keep out of
his way: but when he's drunk, he goes
home and breakes dishes, and tips over
the stove, and throws the hardware
around, and makes it inconvenient for
his wife, and sometimes he gets his gun
and goes out a calling on his neigh
bors, and it amt pleasant"
Not that want TO say anything
about Smith; but me and my wife
don't think he ought to do so. He
came home drunk yesterday, and broke
all the kitchen windows out of his
house, and followed his wife around
with the carving knife, talking about
her liver, and attera while he lay down
by my fence and went to sleep. | had
been reading that little piece; it want
much of piece, and L thought if |
could pour some water down his spine,
on his back, and make him sober, it
would be more comfortable for his
wife, and a square thing all around. So
[ poured a bucket of spring water
down John Smith $ spine of his back"
Well, said We, as our visitor paus
ed, " did it make him sOberY Our
visitor took frmer hold of his stick,
replied with increased emotion:
Just so. | suppose it did make
him as sober as a judge in less time
than you could say Jack Robinson; but
mister, it made him mad. 1t made
him the madest man | ever saw; and
Mr.. John Smith is Il bigger man than
me and stouter. He is a good deal
stoutter. Bla-bless him. | never
knew he half so stout till yesterday,
and he's handy with his fist, too. |
should suppose he's the handIest man
with fists | ever saw.
Then he went for-yo did he ?" we
asked innocentiy.
Just so. Exactly Isuppose he went
for meabout the best he knew, but don't
hold no grudge against John Smith.
l suppose he amt good man to hold
a grudge against, only | want to see
that man what printed that piece. [ |
want to see him bad. | feel as though !
it would soOthe me to see that man. | |
wanted to show him how drunken
man acts when you pour water down
the spine of his back. That's what |
come for :"
Our visitor, who was pouring water
down the spine of drunken mans
back, remained until o'clock in the |
evening, and then wentup street to find /
the man that printed that little piece.
The man he is looking for started for
a summer vacation, and will not be
back before September, 1873.