The New York herald., 1873-07-11
y TIA II -.
Mark Twain Hooks the Persian Out of
the English Channel.
THE OF-FISH-AL RECEPTION.
He Commences the Contract on a
Gravel Train.
The Pilgarlic Pilgrims Progress
to Portsmouth.
STORIES By THE WAY.
Exciting Boating Adventures at the
Great Naval Review.
MARKS LINES IN PLEASANT PLACES.
How London Fogs Are Generated
in a Thirty-fve Ton Bang.
MARKS LINES IN PLEASANT PLACES,
How London Fogs Are Generated
in Thirty-five Ton Bang.
HE SENDS THE SHAH TO A CONCERT.
Architectural Reasons for Mr.. TWain's
Absence Thereffom.

Isuppose l am the only member OF the shah's
family who Is not wholly broken down and worn
OUT and to tell the truth, there is not much OF
left. II you have been limited to four days in
Paris or Rome or Jerusalem and been crushed" by
guide you can form vague, far-away sort of
conception OF what the Shah and the rest of us
have endured during these late momentous days.
II this goes on we may as well get ready for the
imperial inquest
FOR THAT NAVAL REVIEW.
When was called at Ave O'Clock the other morn
ing to 60 to Portsmouth. and remembered that the
Shah's incessant movements had left me only three
hours sleep that night, nothing but OF duty
drove me forth. A cab could not be found, nor O
carriage in all London. l lost an hour and half
waiting and trying, then started on foot and lost
my way; consequently l missed one train by a
good WHILE another one by three minutes, and
then had more than half an hour to spare before
another would go. Most people had had similar
experience. and there was comfort in that.
I WE STARTED AT LAST.
and were more than three hours gong seventy
two miles. We stopped at no stations hardly, but
We halted every fifteen minutes out in the woods
and fields Tor no purpose that we could discover.
Never was such an opportunity to look at scenery.
There were five strangers in our car, or carriage,
the English call 1t, and by degrees their English
sherry and sandwiches and grew sociable.
HOW THE wAxwORKs GOT A wINDFALL.
One OF them had met the Russian General OF Po-
lice in st. Petersburg, and found him q queer old
simple-hearted soldier, proud Of his past and de-
voted to his master, the present Gear, and to the
memory Of his predecessor, Nicholas. The English
gentleman gave an instance of the old mans sim
plicity which one would not expect in Chief OF
Police. The General had been visiting London and
been greatly impressed by two things there-the
admirable police discipline and the Museum. Il
transpired that the Museum he referred to was
not that mighty collection Of marvels known to
all the world as the British Museum, but Nine.
Toussaud's
wAxwORK SHOW;
and In this waxwork show he had seen q figure OF
the Emperor Nicholas. And did it please him9
Yes as to the likeness; for it was good likeness
and commanding figure; but-"Mon Dteui try to
fancy it, M'sieu-dressed in the uniform of simple
colonel of infantryl-the great Nicholas of Russia,
my august late master, dressed in colOnel,s
uniformn
The old General could not abide that. He went
to the proprietor and demonstrated against this
wanton indignity. The proprietor was grieved;
but 1t was the only Russian uniform he could get,
and
'say no more % said the General. "May I get
you one ~
The proprietor would be most happy. The Gene
raj lost not moment; he wrote at once to the
Emperor Alexander describing with anguish the
degradation which the late great Nicholas was
suffering day by day through his
UNANIMOUSLY CLOTHED wAxEN REPRESENTATIVE,
and imploring His Majesty to send suitable raiment
for the imperial dummy, and also letter to au-
thentcate the raiment. And out OF regard
for the old servant and respect for his
outraged feelings the Emperor Of all the
Russas descended from his Alpine altitude
20 send to the Toussaud waxwork the generals
uniform worn last by his father, and to write with
his own hand an authenticating letter to go with
It, so the simple hearted police chief was happy
once more, and never once thought of charging the
museum" $4,000 for these valuable additions to
the show which he might easily have done, and
collected the money, too. How like our own chiefs
OF police this good old soul isl
SATAN AND ST. PETER.
Another Of these English gentlemen told an
anecdote which, he said, was old. but which I had
not heard before. He said that one day st. Peter
and the devil chanced to be thrown together, and
found 1t pretty dull trying to pass the time. Fl
nally they got to throwing dice for lawyer. The
devil threw skies. Then st. Peter threw
sxes The devil threw skies again. st. Peter
threw skies again. The devil threw skies once
more. Then st. Peter threw sevens, and the devil
said, "Oh, come now, Your Honor, cheat fair.
None Of your playing miracles herep thought
there was nice bit Of humor in that suggestion to
"cheat fair"
4 SMALL PRIVATE NAUTICAL RACE.
am getting to Portsmouth about as fast In this
letter as did In that train. The Right honorable
the Mayor of Portsmouth had had o steamer placed
at his disposal by the Admiralty, and he had In
vited the Lord Mayor OF London and other guests
to 20 in her. This was the ship I was to sail in,
and she was to leave her pier at nine A. M. sharp.
arrived At that pier at ten minutes to eleven ex-
actly. There was one chance left, however. The
ship had stopped for something and was noating at
ease about mile away.
rusty, decayed, little two-oared skin, the size
Of q bathtub, came noating by, with q fisherman
and his wife and child In 1t. l entreated the nan
to come in and take me to the ship. Presently he
consented and started toward me. stood impa-
tient and all ready to jump the moment he should
get within thirty yards Of me; he halted at the dis
tance Of thirty-nve and said 1t would be long
pull; did think could pay him two shillings for
IT, seeing 1t was holiday and every thing was highs
All this palaver and in such state Of mind