Arizona citizen., 1873-12-13
Ohio to California via Overland-- Final Remarks About a WeII- spent Life and Other Scenery.


 egraph this morning satisfies me of the justness of fate after all. I left for Europe
 in doubt as to whether I ought not to be damned for starting at all, and complete
 ly diSgusted at Arizona for throwing aught in the way of Gov. McCormIck going with me, or with him. But now yield to the theory of predestinatiOn and all the rest of it-specially when !" there's a woman in it." What was my loss proves to have
 been the Governors gain, and if we don't all be happy yet, there is no one more will ing to see another make the most of life than myselfin this case. After aiding ev- cry way he could to bring the perVerse ApacheS to terms, it was only characteris- tic of his hnmanizing nature to turn his attention to the next worst problem in the cards. Of course I refer to the average woman. l came through Wyoming Ter ritOry feeling more hopeful for the country than ever, learning that the last of the Modocs (alwayS excepting myself had been banished to the first country confer ring additional Suderings on American femininity. When I conclude my work on Europe, Imay conclude to marry any ay- craze girl who will submit to the record if not terms prescribed therein. If not, am open for proposals to the first Dutch girl that comes along. The book is not yet in type, but will be sooner or later, and then l will put on the finishing touches with a press from Limburger. If the work be not extremely gilt-edged, 1 promise before God and man that 1t will be sufficiently highly scented to bring tears to an onion gone to seed; if not also make angels weep. So much by way of an advanced sheet, as the critics call it. Yes, 1 see nothing to pre- vent the women from doing well in direct connection with the last of the Modocs from the original lava-beds. Could I but be present to congratulate the Governor to-day upon his newly-acquired happi- ness, I should ask him in ali kindness. if his highest earthly. aspirations had not been reached? He is not the only friend of mine taken from me by the deSpOtism of woman, and 1 am beginning to feel lonely enough. In the language of the classics, 1 am Roman (rOamin') ruin, and anything but a magnificent one in ap- pearance. But such is life. I did not in tend to use that hackneyed phrase-such is life-ever again. But really such is life In the swampS of Western Ohio, ten days ago, found pretty little blonde baby in the house of my older brother, and I won dered how the devil it came there inside so few months, when l last saw no Sign These are the moments that carry me back into the ages when you and were boys, dear Tom, and swung the girls on dog wood SapllngS and raised hair and hell generally. l could look on the buried pal aces of the Caesars with unconcerned cu- riosity, but these overcoming babies are making sad havoc with my reasoning powers. l am almost as myStifed about it as if were child myself, and ready to ask the usual question. 1 felt relieved the other day when l saw this practical and poetical answer to the query
 "Go ask that bIushing bride, and see,
 If she don't own and frankly say,
 That when she found that angel babe, She found it by the good old way"
 When the great " Independent Pressu puts such an elegant truth through as that, I always give credit. find quite a number of my California friends and tramps gone of the handle, so to speak, but my time has not yet come. So much running round and wasting of sweetness on the desert air, to say nothing of the green shore of Killarney, the shades of Geneva. and so forth, until l hav'nt got S2 left to set up house with. Tell my friend, Tom Ewing, to keep an eye on those PariSian SleeVe-buttOnS, which l forwarded in his favor; all good Americans go to Paris to die if not go to heaven. The average Amer ican knows literally nothing of what is most interesting of Europe, and it took no Bayard Taylor to tell me that as soon as I first set foot on foreign shore. Taylor got disguSted finally in trying to solve the problem in fine English: then married a | Dutch girl and retired to the beer and brass-bands of Faderland, and I hope is happy. This is one thing I have learned | as a lOOl1er-On in Vienna. One may read | of Europe till Gabriel sounds the last call | to glory, but if he or she looks at Europe | through their own eyes, they must begin | making book of their own at the first | landing. The impression is then fixed for | ever, and there is no need of liking Amer ica the less or becoming a SnOb. Europe | has been done by spectacled SchOol-marms l or professional pSalm-singers following l each other in beaten trails until the libra ries are stopping over with mental drivel. | It is a good thing for any one who can af- ford it-I admit l couldn't, but as a Bohe- milan of the irrepreSSible stamp, went any the comparisons or contrasts be- tween the old and new landscapes, gov ernment and ways in general, are infinite and only understood by being on the ground however so short time. I can now even better realize this fact in listening to and answering the boOrish and bore-ish questions all along overland. One can better appreciate the struggles going on in Europe of interest to us all, and so long as we take an interest in all human affairs, t were best to have a less preudiced if not idea of the case. But have not said anything of the trip overland ust as if it had not been done to death as much as scribbling idiots and shyster statesmen could possibly do it first and asst But it is not dead yet nor sleeping. Neither is the Texas Pacific done or gone nto it's final lava-bed. If Scott don't build he latter, will, you know, and there an ; Oad on paper, while the common enemy If all-the Central Pacihc-is quietly dO- ng about all the State can show in the l vay of public improvements. The aver | ge Californian could learn a lesson from ( my boy eXtant, where dirt and water { ome in contact. California is superior EGTy way to Italy, except dd in one ut hundred or so to Italy, and both t ountries be the better for it-at least they I ould be no worse. 1 should be sorry for l he change, however, on second thought; I