The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1873-04-10

with men who never drank" peioio
because they respect and admire you
and your position.
And before forget it, nay son, as !
am growing weak, let me remind you
to collect a few choice stories-wltty,
broad, gamey stories, not above the
most british comprehension. These
are very useful between "drinks to
rest on, and they cause coarse people
to remember you with pleasure:
You will be told that. in all this. you
are lowering the moral standard OF the
country: but that is impracticable adj
vice The "moral standard" is Tor
women and preachers; your business
is with the "party standard" It's not
for Won to assume an elevation and be-
seech the people to come up, when the
patriotic people are winking to you to
come down and treat" to the cigars
and whisky. The Scripture says, "he
that humbieth himself shall be exalted"
Humble yourself, my son. humble
Yourself before the people! Serve them!
Become their political bartender, and
serve them! Serve them with beer and
whisky! Let them know that you are
not proud-nothing mean about you.
In this way, my son, is "your calling
and election sure" 1t may be a little
hard on your stomach, but such is the
fate of patriots. You must take man
kind as you find them; and you will
always find more patriots with stomachs
than with brains. Strive to be in your
self the greatest good, and then follow
the maxim, "The greatest good TO the
greatest number" .
If elected, as doubt not you Will
be, you will, as soon as the returns are
all in and sufficiently counted TO assure
your success, go with the whole crowd,
with hurrah, to the nearest grogshop
and "treat" and get drunk as rapidly
and foolishIy as you can. You viii
mount the counter Of the shop, tramp
triumphantly among the tumblers, damn
the expense, make it AL right III the
morning, and harangue the constantly
thirsty and ever-increasing crowd upon
the glories of our beloved country.
from the treason Of Benedict Arnold
down to the Pacific Railroad. You will
Erefer to the fact that we can whip all
nations, particularly Great Britain. You
will at last, when you begin to sober
up little, lower your voice to Loving
and sepulchral whisper and pay trib-
ute to our national banner and the pat
riot fathers of the republican which
latter catalogue, may not ask you, my
son, that you will remember me by say
ing, with tears in your eyes, among
whom is numbered, am proud TO say,
gentlemen, my revered father.
One or two campaigns like this will
finish your apprenticeship to patriotism,
but now, as you will begin to he noticed
as promising man, n greater degree
of prudence is advisable.
All through your apprenticeship you
will have observed to tell no lie. The
time to lie comes later in life The PEG.
pie will not swallow lie from young
man, knowing it to be such. You may
be fool and drunkard, and you may
be more than beast among the other
Sex, so long as you do not marry where
ever you mark chat is polygamy);yo
may be a gambler, and horsc-racer,
and also keep a tighting dog; but you
must not lie until you are old enough
and have earned sufficient fame TO make
the lie stick. A useless lie is worse
than an abstract truth, and to espousc
either will ruin patriot. Let your
humble followers tell your lies for you,
and leave abstract truths to philoso.
piers, preachers, women and editors.
Let it be the rule of all your life to at
tempt no good thing until You are sure
it will win, and then, my son, study to
be loudest and most enthusiastic in
your advocacy. Always wait for the
public voice. The majesty of the pub.
lie is your sovereign, and it is the duty
of courteous and gallant knight to
flatter his liegc. This is true chiyalry.
| You will have no opinion to express
on religious matters, and, except in a
general rhetorical way, you will avoid
all mention of the public morals until
the populace rise against some over
bearing evil; then, my son, be prepared
to take the lead with a fire and fury
of righteous Indignation, which shall
win golden opinions from all sorts Of
people.
Be careful to give something in a
pleasant, ostentatious manner, to all
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