Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-06-27
FL UNI o.


9ln9sA Il u III y n.
so91 A reporter for Western paper, speak
: iingoof certain fair creature, remarked that
''the profusion and color Of her hair woula
2 lead one to look upon it as though it was
spun by the nimble fingers Of tae cas-,
hours, as they gIlded through the brighl
June days, whose many sunny rays OF Igh
had been caught in the meshes, and wers
contented to 60 no further" This is bette
4 than saying the girls hair was red.
A man. out West who married widow
has invented device to cure her of 'etet-
i nally' praising her former HUSBAND. When
lever she begius to descant on his noble
qualities, this ingenious number two merely
10 says-.'Poor. dear man How | wish h
had not died !" aud the lady Immediately
begins to think of something else TO ,alk
about 3
The uncertainty of securing a just vet-
dict from jury Of ordinary tut llisente
leads the Columbus, Ohio Journal to pro
pose the abel ten of the jury system aDd
she creation Of the Office OF Sfa:e fppr.
who shall decide all cases referred 10 him b
Tipping copper.
Every dog has his day The follnwire
beautiful lines were written before Jseh'e
day was over:
Pm Captain Jack of the Lava bed,
Pm "cock o the wall ;" and chief o. the Reds
| kin slit the bar" and scalp the heads
Of the whole United States Army
Oh ! the suore i! the beautiful su re .
filling her chamber from ceiling to foos
Over the coveret, under the sheet ; fsola
her dimple chin to her spretty feet No,
rising aloft like bee in June now IA k
to the wall of cracked bassoon. n "
flute like, subsidIng, then rising again Is tie
beautiful snore of Eliza beth Jane
he St Louis 'Demoerat' prints the
following beautiful fragments of a poem Of
twelve verses on The Streets OF St. Louis:
$50 see what have sawn,
Go feel what have felt;
Go out at early dawn
And smell what have smet."
A young man at Kenosha bet two dollars
that he could take certain mans nose be
tween his thumb and finger. Although the
said certain man was q church deacon, the
said Young mans doctor's bill was fourteen
dollars.
'Welknown' citizens are honored with
highly -culogistic notices in the newspapers
when they die in Boston, excellent citizens
in Philsdelphia, odd defenders 10 Bslti
more, and pioneers or 'iorty-niners' in
San Francisco.
4 lady, returning from an Improbable
trip 10 church, declared that when she saw
the shawls of those Smiths, and then thought
Of the things her own poor girls had to
wear, if it wasn't fer the consolation Of rel-
eion, she did not know what she should
do''
An engineer has invented machiue
which will cut off the general reporter from
many an item 1t is a hot-warer pump
with which to squirt hot water % deaf D. +
sons who walk on the track.
The editor of the NorwicA Bulletin
spent the whole forenoon, the other day 10
trying to get an exclusive by reading the
names OF the japanese jugglers On III
Wauregan House register. He could MOI
decipher them, is aweary, and wishes h..
was dead.
Please inform us who wrote those beautI-
full lines
The sweest things it seems to mo.
Are those that hadn't ought to be.
[Stumped.
A French surgeon inserts watch crystsls
ia the skulls of dogs, in order that be may
observe their brain works. Ii he thinks he
can make good watoh-dogs in that way,
then the Frenchman is mistaken.
Josh Billings says II have often been
told that the best way is to take bull by
the horns but think, In many instances,
l should prefer the tail hold"
Stokes, among other things, is something
of wsg Somebody asked him, the other
day, what he thought Of tbe Tombs,s. and
be said it was horrible cell
Il has at last been decided that 'the Ut
known currents" were to blame for the At
lantic disaster No excuse ; the current
news can be obtained from the papers.
Billings gives US two items on gain"
The partridge G u e and pheasant are cou
sins, and etber one ov them srsddle grid
iron natural enuf tew have ben born there.
The Quincy, Ill 'Ilersli' says: 1.-The
Weekly 'Montanisn' wants an editor. The |
last one was killed by shooting him full OF
single nails.
There were ninety seven wrathful women
in New Orleans the other day ninety.eight
mothers having taken their darlings to
taby show.
Pure love is monarch of all difficulties |
Beautiful and light footed, like the leopard |
itleaps the chasm of separation, and crou ,hes |
delighted at the feet of its own = Just so.
A rumor that Mr.. Boucicault is about to |
produce an original play induces an English
writer to ask, Whose is it T?
A Charle.ton father gave young man
who had saved his daughter from drowning,
two.year.old steer and shot gun.
The old cry see Venice and die is now |
changed into ''vist Vienna and 20 into in. |
Sweeney.
A wife in Sigourney, Iowa, who was sold
for an old gun and small sum in cash. is
seeking for divorce.
Albany is good place to start temper.
ance paper, but sitter one is started it DON'T
take long for it to starve.-B Brooklyn Eaqle. |
A Denver paper calls the atmosphere Of