The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-02-27
All Sorts of Paragraphs.


-"Corn Bread?" said an Irish waiter; eve
haven't got it and isn't corn bafe you mane?"
1t is said that the loss Of the great organ
in the confagration of DR.. Talmadges church
was owing to the fact that the 6remen could
not play on it. ~,
II correspondent asks us if we really be-
lieve that "a woman could endure a college
course of study" We believe that woman
who could endure the society of the average
Young man of the period could endure any
thing.
"A romping four-year-old boy had been
denied some tritiing qualification by his mother,
but it did not seem so trihing to him as to her.
So, striking an attitude before her, he said,
with the utmost gravity, Mother, were you
ever boy?"
"A spiteful contemporary evidently edited
by bachelor, uses the following elaborate
metaphor: II have seen lovers look into each
Others eyes with that sublimely silly expression
I characteristic of such unfortunates, somewhat
like the piteous, appealing look of forlorn
calf going home through the rain." This e1-
preston has been patented.
= An exchange says: IF you lose a watch,
or child, or dog, or if you desire people not to
knowing that every one will read the advertis-
ment. But you will plod along in business
year after year without calculating how much
you are losing by not advertising in it"
Professor Cunning, the eminent geologist,
has given it as his opinion that in eighty
Thousand years the limestone bed, over which
the waters of Niagara rush, will be completely
worn away, and the falls reduced to "a mere
succession of cascades" So there is one thing
more for nervous people to worry about. it
/ An indianapolis man took his boy. up.
stairs to, whip him, as requested by his step.
mother, but his tender feelings prevailed, and
he told the urchin to take his Coat off, hang it
up and yell Justify while it was whipped. The
boy obeyed orders, but spoiled his chances for
future similar clemency by telling his'experi-
ence TO the whole neighborhood. 49, !.
- An exchange thinks one of the horrors OF
married life is, waking up in the middle OF the
night and remembering the front door is un-
bial felicity some little time longer, he will find
such a remembrance as he refers to is not the
most terrible trial Of trotting in double har-
ness. It is nothing to walking the floor for an
hour alta time with squalling baby. Z"
| o--J Just as everybody has accepted the Dar-
winisn theory for the sake of peace, and con-
ceded the fact that they are the descendants OF
monkeys, another scientific luminary has,
brought his light to bear upon the subject, and
declares that the human race had its origin in,
"yeast fungus" As he has undoubtedly con-
,sidered the matter deeply, we presume there
can be no doubts as to the correctness of his
theory. 1t now remains to be ascertalned what
brewery furnished the yeast
! 1t is related of a certain minister OF
Maine who was noted for his long sermons,
with many divisions, that one day when he was
advancing among the teens he reached at length
= e ~ ~, h;c WI
pausing to take breath, he asked the question,
| aAnd what shall l say noww A voice from
the congregation earnestly responded, "Say
Amen"
| = Josh Billings says: "Mackerel inhabit
the sea generally but those which inhabit the
grocery alwus taste to me as though they had
been fattened on salt. They want a deal of
freshning before they're eatn, and always after
ward If kin have plenty of mackerel for
breakfast, / can generally make the other two
meals out of water"
| -"Where are you going" said young
gentleman to an elderly one in white cravat,
whom he knew we'll and overlook on the road.
81 am going to heaven, my son. have been
on the way eighteen years." well, goodbye,
| old fellow, if you have been travelling toward
heaven eighteen years, and got no nearer to it
than South Carolina, I'll take another road"
- One more popular DelleI mas oeen reIhors.
lessly swept away--that is, the old and well
established belief that whoever had in his pos
session an umbrella was, owner. .0f. it. -A-msn
in England, who was recently found with one
he could not account for in q manner satisfac-
tory to the court, not only had all his theories
on that subject upset, but was sent to, prison,
| forEfohfteen miserable days, 4
John Smith was recently married in Iowa.
But it wasn't the John Smith that lives here,
and in New York, and Boston, and Philadel-
phia and Cincinnati, and St. louis and New
FOrleans, and , Mobile, and .Charleston,s and
Savannah, and Richmond, and Nashville, and
Memphis, and Little Rock, and San Antonio,
and Sacramento, and everywhere else.s, WAS
| thes other ope.5tS w. lS - - n
= Mexico has recovered her usual xeyolu-
tionary spirit Of which she seems to have di
vested herself on the death of President
Juarez. Since the election of Lerdo de Tejada
| 10. the Presidential Chair-the cauntry remained
very quiet until short time since, when ris.
ing under the leadership of Lozado occurred
| in Fepic.9 Some skirmishes have occurred, and
at least one battle of some magnitude has taken
P'AeO. ,--- ..-,. ,ir..s3-. ..fs.si III .