Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-12-04

supplies tuo waste OF muscle, GWeuty-
one per cent.
If wheat were eaten in ita natural
condition, without boiling, it would
supply all the needed elements in the
human body; but in the process of
boiling nearly the whole of the phos.
pilates and nitrates are removed; so
that bread made of superfine flour will
sustain life only q few weeks.
The best way to get good wheat
meal is to buy of any mill in our city
half bushel of whole wheat, thirty
pounds. Either get the miller to grind
it for you, or take it home and grind it
in your coffee mills.
Gene al Items.j
A LAooN1A IN. H. gardener has
raised radlsh weighing II pounds.
A1ADx recently applied to fire in
surance company for q position as
agent. When asked what her qualifi
cations were she touched her unblush-
ing cheek.
THERE is time at which lamb be.
comes mutton; there is q time at
which the mint sauce of Irritation has
to be discarded for the current jelly of
serious intentions.
Ar a hotel table one boarder remark
ed to his neighbor: "This must be a
healthy place for chickens" "Why2"
asked the other. "Because I never
see any dead ones hereabouts."
OFF and on-The man who gets of,
may get offer, but he can't hope to
reach tho superlative; while the man
who gets on, We are told, may get hon
OF, and by possibility, honest. II
Mr.. CHARLES THAwsoN recently ran
his head against a young lady d7ring a
cotillion. "Ah excuse me, deah, The
cried, "did it hurt, ali 2" "No, sir, "
she replied, "it's too soft to hurt any.
thing"
A GENTLEMAN travelling in Ireland
said to very importunate beggar,
"Your have lost ali your teeth" The
beggar quietly answered, "An'it's time
I parted with UNI when I'd nothing for
UNI to do"
An Enfield school committee recent
" asked school-marm, " What was
the seed from whence sprung good and
evil " The school-marm answered
meekly that she j" wasn't posted in the
seed business" and tho matter was al
lowed to drop.
The Mayor of Keokuk recently dis
charged such of the jail boys of could
say the Lords Prayer. Then q lawyer
offered to bet him five dollars that he
could not say it himself. He declined
on the ground that he didn't gamble.
A QUAINT old clergyman once took as
a foundation for few remarks, "The
world, the flesh and the devil" By
way of preface he said, 81 shall
touch lightly on the world, speak brief
~ OF tho flesh, and hasten on to the
devil"
AN inscription on a mural tablet,
recently put up in q rural church, is
amusing. 1t ends:
" He was neglected by his doctor;
| Treated cruel by his nurse;
His brother robbed his widow Il
! That makes the matter worse."
An American gives this report OF his
London travels: II asked the dis.
lance. WELL said my informant,
lit amt very far. It's about five drinks
and o cigar off if you walk, or two
drinks if you ride That's a way
they have Of measuring distances in
London"
A CINCINNATI firm lately received q
letter from correspondent in Missis.
sippi, saying Scents, I am Due YOU
$26 10:1OO which pleas hold up on me
q few days happen to a misfortune
the day 2 weeks ago & I had to kill a
man in Self Defense which my Lawyer
fee cost me 500 90 which throws me
behind little I am all right now"
The young orator in Illinois, who. in
a recent speech, threatened to "qrasp
q roy of light from the great orb OF
day, spin it into threads of gold. and
weave shroud in which to wrap the
whirlwind which dies upon the bosom
of our Western prairies " has conclu-
ded it wouldn't pay.
HE following epigram was made
when DR.. Goodenough, Bishop of Car
!'s!e, was one day appointed to preach
before the House # Peers:
IT'S we'll enough that Goodenough
Before the lords should preach;
FOR sure enough they 70 bad enough
He undertakes to teach.
One of the late boys, while reading
q chapter in Genesis, paused to ask
his mother whether the boys in clden
times used to do their sums on the
ground : 1t was discovered that he had
been reading the passage, "And the
sons OF men multiplied on the face of
the EARTH"
The Congregationalist says: "One
of our New England cities had a min
I0foF Whn $ho g.
bath, preached as follows: Afternoon
subject-The incontrovertible inex-
haustibility of Gods providence
Evening-The indubitable, angelic
reclamation of the inefable austeritv
OF the approaching 'woes.'" And he
still lives.
A COLONY of wasps built their nest a
few weeks ago, in a church Extensively
near the choir. The sexton being ap.
pealed to, he said: "Ill fix the ras-
cals!" and proceeded to burn the
wasps out. The next day, while gazing
at the ruins of the church, the sexton
was heard to remark: II knew n
could fix the rascals; but I'm sorry
the church went along with 'em incl
dentally."
AUNT ETHE1-But when his brethren
next saw Joseph, they found him in a
position Of great authority and power.
Aice-Was he King, aunt Ethel :
Aunt Ethe!-No. But he was verv
high-nearly next to the King.
Alice (who is fond OF cards)-Was he
a Knave, then2
The sother day railway accident
evoked this bit of evidence
Having put my great.coat inside
the carriage, got upon the step to 20
inside myself"
We have heard people described as
being "self contained" and this cpl
tibet, We fancy, is the right oDe to ap-
ply to person who is able to go inside
ENcoREs take novel form in Dub
lin. Three or four hundred citizens
recently followed popular singer to
the ShAlhnrna Hotel ,ul,aro al.o ,rao