Liberal Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1872-1???, 1873-09-06
Ths gibexal &epubIiran.
FACTS AND FANCIES.

chin.
A book for the table-One full of
plates.
Set together by the ears-Sheaves of
wheat.
What does q man see in the wild,
wild waves ?-Sea foams.
st. 10 has man with leggs so bow
legged that he has his pants cut by
circular saw.
Christianity is the worst trade, but
The best calling IN tic world.
Miss cDnseruction-W Whalebone and
paint, powder aud valding.
IF you want to know whether tree
il hollow or oot, Ak it
Who was Richard Tho Third before
be was himself y
Tho best band 10 aecopany a lady
vocalist. "A husband
If you ora out in q driving storm,
don ( attempt 10 hold the reigns.
WiIovers aover die Of grief just
let them alone aud viii soon revive.
Tha recent forest fires in Michigan
destroyed about eight thousand acres
Of woods
Queen Elizabeth always displayed
her worst temper in her clothes. She
was dreadfuIly suffled then.
An Irish editor says he can see no
earthly reason why women should not
be allowed to become medical men.
Advice to lovers When you can
not catch the last car at night, take a
''buss" instead.
An old farmer said of his clergy
man, whose sermon lacked point, "ah,
yes, he's good man, but he will rake
with teeth upwards.
If poor George had not blowed in
the muzzle rf his gun, sighed rural
widow, at the funeral of her late hus-
band, last Saturday, he might of got
plenty of squirrels. 1t was such good
for them.
. Keep sober and then you can talk
straight. One of our druggists was
surprised the other day to hear fell
low injnire if he had any Mrs. sooth~
lows Winsling Syrup"
Josh Billings says: "There iz one
thing about hen that looks like wisdum
they don't kakle much until nfter
they have laid their eggs. Sum pholks
are alwns Dragging and cackling
what they are going tew dew before,
hand.
The other afternoon rural gentle
man who was stand IN a river streei
store over register, attracted, general
attention to himself by observing to hi,
wife, "Mariar, | guess I'm again t.
have fever, | feel such hot streaks a,
runuin' up my my legs.
Two gentleman of Decatur, Illinois
went ont hunting, One of them wore
a new hunting shirt. lie does not wea
1t now. And the bunting shirt is per
forated with buckshot. His companion
mistook him for bear.
A jubilant Wisconsin Republic wrot
two letters in mediately after election
one to his son, consisting of the singI
word "hurrah p and the other lctte
of coincidence to a dear friend who ha
lost his wife. In his excitement, h
mixed the envelopes, and the result ca
Uc imagined, when the bereaved wido,
received the wrong letter.
a drunken fellow was walking u
the street quite late the other nigh
singing at the top his voice, "Rock m
10 sleep mother, rock ne to sleep" II
staggered against policeman, VIII
replied ~ won't rock You to slee,
but will club you so you will be gla
70 Ia< iawn aud be quiet, il you don
shut ap2 lie lost his voice rigf
AWAY pretty quick.
4 lnan cut in Gcrmantown purchase
sun>ai4l last week, and set it up ]
MS yard according to printed dire,
tons. lie Is so fascinated with it tina
hs goes out every aight before retiring
and examines the dial with candle, 5
as to set bis watch by the correct time
lie wants TO trade that watch now