Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-03-01


Journey. He went first to have her bag"
gage checked. Pointing out the trunk
to the man in charge, the only reply
made was the word
"Ticket"
Not comprehending exactly what was
meant, he stood moment, as one will
who is in doubt. expecting On explana-
ton. It came:
"Go and get your ticket if you want
your baggage checked! roared the man,
in the coarse hard tone of a ruffian.
My friend got the ticket and returned.
The trunk was put on the scales and
proved to be overweight.
"Dollar" calculated the man.
My friend, you know, innocently sup
posed that baggage went with the pas
senger without extra charge, and there
fore thought he was being defrauded.
So he said:
"I think I'll not pay-the dollar. I'll
take the trunk back and send it. by
express
No you won't, said the baggage
man, "you'll pay the dollar"
And he did.
There are giants in these days, as in
the days of old, and one of them rc-
sides in this city. He is giant and a
politiciah-a very Turk for women.
He is SO large and SO given to the we'll
known gormandizing habits of giants
that they have to charge him at the
hotel where he makes his lair, eight
dollars per day, or twice the usual
price, and then lose money on him.
He is as childlike and bland as
wolf, and his favorite amusement is to
throw nickles on the floor or sidewalk,
and then order tired bell-boys about
the hotel to run and bring them 10
him. If one hesitates, he seeks to have
him dismissed for insolence. Yet, of
course, lie is gentleman of great
wealth, genial, hiSh-toned, urbane
How big was Alexander, pa.
That people called him great:
Was hc MS tall as our John is!
AZ long before his late?
A young man saw card in a win
dow, Four neckties for quarter.
That being about the amount he felt
able to squander on neckwear, he
stepped in. A primped and bedeviled
knight of the ribbon stood behind the
counter. ogling the ladies as they
passed the door, and seemed utterly
oblivious of the young mans approach
until addressed.
81 would like some of those neck
ties" said the young man.
Chow many?" asked the clerk.
"Four"
1--WE can't make anything selling
these neckties four at a time,' said the
young man in petulant way. eve
frequently lose large sale while we
are attending to these id neckties."
81 wouldn't keep them" said the
young man.
"The HI you wouldn't" said the
milk-eyed, pleasant-spoken clerk, rs
with one gyration of his attenuated
shadow-grown form he whisked the
neckties back in the showcase, and
went placidly back to his ogling.
The good man thinks that was the
promptest dry-goods prince he has ever
met, even in Chicago.
Did you ever muster up courage to
speak to one of our policemen-one of
those fellows who stand around in their
first good clothes to boss the newsboys? |?
If you have you need no advice. If
not, you will find the following simple
directions Of great value. Never speak
to policeman when your wife is by.
To be snubbed in her presence is sub
versive of home discipline.
Never attempt OH interview in pres
ence of your sweetheart. Her hero,
punctured, suffers collapse.
Never approach peeler with your
hat on. He will arrest you for con-
tempt.
Never approach one with you hat off.
Meekness and ciyility are his meat and
drink.
If you seek directions from one, seek
it from two. sthey will not agree, ask
a third. To the stun of their differ
ences add what you before knew; and
you will be in condition to go and
look in a directory.
To make an interview perfectly safe
and eminently satisfactory, get your
self up in loud and dashing style.
Buff trowsers-variSgated waistcoat-