Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-08-23
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

A HANDSOME THING IN SHAwLs-A
pretty girl. ~
to borrow it. -.
A MAINE suspender factory uses alliga-
tor skins for material.
VIRGINIA talks of introducing wooden
railroads extensively.
A BROOKLYN penitent has lately added
ten cents to Treasurer Spinner's con-
science fund.
NEwBURYPoRT, Mass, has an armless
newsdealer who writes neat fist" with
his mouth.
The st. Paul Pioneer says that July
there has been about like September
weather in the Middle States.
Tue Tennessee papers can get more rat
ties on the end of rattlesnake's tail than
the press of any other State.
READING, Pa, has a new place of re-
sOrt-a Temperance Garden" where vo-
cal and instrumental music is given, and
where nothing stronger than ice cream
and domestic wine is sold.
A RAILWAY station agent down East
ran away recently with some of the funds,
and an examination has shown that mis-
take he had made in his accounts covered
the amount he carried away.
A MAN robbed of seven dollars in San
Francisco was locked up as a witness, and
remained in Jail seventy-eight days before
the case came on. The authorities forgot
him, and he has very unobtrusive dis
position.
A WILL is registered in Waynesburg,
Pa, which contains the following remark
able clause: =" L also give TO my beloved
wife one red COW, one three-year-old colt,
and the remainder of the kitchen and
household furniture"
ONE Of the survivors of the wrecked
steamer Atlantic has brought suit against
the owners for one hundred thousand dol
lars, claiming that he has been disabled
for life, by reason of having his legs
frozen.
JAMES JENKINS" said school-master
to his pupil, s'what is an averaged" "a
thing, sir" answered the scholar, prompt
ly, " that hens lay eggs on" "Why do
you say that, you silly boy?" replied the
pedagogue. Because, SIR" said the
youth, 81 heard gentleman say the
other day as hen would lay, on an aver
age, a hundred and twenty eggs year"
THE Manchester, N. H., Union, tells of a
Newfoundland dog that fell into canal
there recently and was unable to get out.
At length he succeeded in getting his
paws upon the bank, and Gov. Smyth' g
dog approaching the situation, seized the
drowning dog by the neck and, making a
vigorous sally backward, drew him out
on the bank. The two dogs looked at
each other with the greatest complacency
and then went home.
CONGRESSIONAL HORTICULTURAL
contemporary says: A nice old man. 9
vegetable gardener, called at the Office the
other day and inquired very anxiously II
the editor had seen anything in the pa.
pers lately about worm that was doing
much damage to celery. " intended ,
said he, ITO have raised good deal Of
celery this year, but durn me if think il
will pay if that durHed celery grub that
started at Washington awhile since, about
what I've heern so much on, is coming
this way" A light dawned upon the
editors mind-the SALARY Grab"
A GREAT MODERN CoNUNDRuM SoLv.
KD.-In a select school in the Sixth ward
the other day, class of boys were spell
ing, when the teacher came to the WORD
Sacrifice" and stopped to explain it and
make good moral point. She told then
that sacrifice meant to slay, to kill, anC
also to forego ones own convenience fol
the sake of making others happy. "Fol
instance" she said, 81 have kite, and 8
lame boy, who can't roll hoop, or play
like other boys, comes along and asks fol-
it, what should do?' A youth, named
Snyder, raised his hand, and when nod
ded at, roared Smash him i'm the mouth
and run p'-Detroit Free Press.
An inquirer, who applied to the Sar
Francisco Chronicle for Information as tC
where Cain obtained his wife, is cruelty
rebuffed, the only reply vouchsafed hin
being this: Upon any subject of a pub
lie nature we never refuse to throw the
desired light. But this is altogether ,
different thing. 1t is a family nss,ssscI
with which we do not care 90 NEEDLE
were born. and -,sch idle curiosity regard.
ing the y --ny affairs OF deceased person
w1,egard as reprehensible. and calculated
TO violate the sanctities of domestic life
For these reasons, and because we do not
wish to injure the feelings of the relatives
OF the deceased, we decline to answer the
question"
SINCE Jones has been in reduced circum.
stances he takes much pleasure in singing
the following version Of popular song
While beefsteak and venison cost lots of cash.
lie II ever so gristy, there's nothing like hash
Inc scrapingsand leavings Of no use elsewhere
Hash, hash, good meat hash
be 1t ever SO gristly, there's nothing like
hasn't
"A stranger from home hotels dazzle in vain;
y give me cheap eating house food that's more
plain;
The waiter who gayly re-echoes my call
FOR nice plate of hash or q single ish-ball.
Hash, hash, % etc.
NJ. STEWARDS 500, OOO, OOO.-Wealthy
men are often credited with greater riches
than they possess, and frequently, after
diligent inquiry into their resources, find
that they have set too high limit to their
possessions. 1t therefore rarely happens
that man astonishes himself with his
own wealth; yet little on dit attributes
bit of this amaZement to Mr.. A. Il.
Stewart. 1t is probably generally known
that Mr.. Stewart took steamer for Europe
last week. 1t is not generally known that
before his departure he made a will.
Prior to making this will it was thought
advisable to prepare schedule of his
real and personal estate, with its
valuation. Upon the completion
of the schedule, much to the
- NJ