Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1873-11-18
CROCK EFT.

1t is apparent to parent that great many
children get On the wrong track because the
switch is misplaced.
The perfection of wisdom and the end of true
philosophy is to proportion our wants to our
possessions, and ambition to our capacities.
A little girl was once asked the following
question What is faith p She replied,
Doing God S will and asking no questions.
When your pocket-bo gets empty, and ev
cry body knows it, you can put all your friends
in it, and il will not bulge out worth cent. ="
Among all my boys" said an old man, II
never had but one boy who took after me, ard
that was my son Aaron he took after me with
club"
The Interior has heard of good old lady
who has read the Baptist papers so faithfully
that she discharged her laundress for sprink-
ling her linen.
Why is pretty girl like locomotive en-.
CINE? Because she sends off the sparks, trans
ports the males, has train following her, and
passes over the plain.
There is one ship | always steer clear Of y
said al old bachelor sea captain, land that s
courtship; cause on that ship there's always
two mates and no captain
A prominent Radical organ has long edito-
rial leader On CHARITY" Some old Democrat
suggests that the kind Of charity its party re-
quires is that which covers multitude of sins
Coleridge, when lecturing as a young man,
was once violently Kissed. He Immediately re-
torted, when cold stream Of truth is pour
ed on red-hot prejudices, no wonder that they
hiss"
A minister having preached very long ser
mon, as his custom was, some hours after ask
ed a gentleman bis opinion of it? He replied
that '"'TUaS vnrv OOod hDt If cpoilod 1;rnor
worth two of il"
A clergyman recently asked girl concerning
her intended, is he 10 his conversation aud
carriage a consistent Christian p She replied,
10 his conversation he is very pious, but |
never saw him in his carriage"
Madam, why were you not here before ?"
Il could not come, sir " "Were you not sub
penaed, Madam ?" Yes. sir but was sick. :"
What was the matter, Madam?' Il had an
awful boil, sir. Upon your honor, MADAME
No sir; upon my arm"
Fred, said young man, walking up STATE
street, Chicago, the other day, af er listening to
his wonderful story, 'do you know whv you are
like harp struck by lightning ?" No" says
Fred, Il give it uD." Because harp struck
by lightning is blasted Tyre"
A youth of the period, while readiag chap
fer OF Genesis, paused to ask his mother wheth-
er the boys 10 that time used to do their sums
on the ground 1t was discovered that he had
been reading the passage. ''and the SONS of mer
multiplied On the face of the earth.
A new version of "OId Uncle Ned" has be-
come popular at Germantown. and CheIton
hills 1t Is something as follows Then pull
up the wicket and the stake, aud put by the
mallet and the ball for no more croouetll be
played this year-its getting too late in the
falll'
John Forsyth, in letter from Vienna to the
Mobile Register, tells this little story During
our war detachment of Federal troops encamp-
co Tor some time on the lands of staunch Viz
GINA farmer, to his great annoyance. He was
fox hunter, and had leaning toward hounds
Out of patience one day with his blue coat in
truders, be exclaimed: well ID it, the
more see OF men the better l like dogs ~
Cacraft, the English Jack Ketch, has hang
ed nearly all the murderers sentenced to death
IN Great Britain since 1929 The adiuster of
hempen cravats for forty-four years might be
supposed to have disagreeable recollections. but
Calcraft has none. II never killed ANYBODY
says he, Its their own weight that does it .
Ills pastor says that he is a particularly mild
and luottenslve man, pattern husband and ia
tner. and one OF the most earnest and regular
worshippers in his church.
Somebody in Georgia Court "applauded.
whereupon the judge 1--WE quote from the Grit
m News indignantly remarked: Now. drv
that up; will let you know this is no meet
ing Tor ezuberating your enthusiasm this court
snail be respected at the risk of outraging the
llth commandment to the constitution, and if
you open your Hy-trap or pat-a-pat with them
number fourteen brogans of yours again will
send you to Jail for thirty days, where you will
remain without the benefit of damnum OBJ
sque injuria.
AN EX-MAYoR OF New York ON LOVE
MARRIAGE, AND Mayor A.
Oakley Hall lectured iu New York last week on
Love, Marriage, and Divorce" There are
Two kinds of love" said Mr.. Hall, ''love at
nrst sight and love at foresight The latter is.
perhaps, not SO quick, but it is more lasting.''
Inc lecturer advised the young ladies to beware
OF the man who has to argue with her that he
loves her. He was firm believer in the doc
trIne that woman may marry whomeyer she
chooses, IT she sets her cap to catch particular
man, provided the man meets her halfway
There are 2, 1853 lines in Shakespare in which
the word love is mentioned The poets who
have always lived the happiest are those who
nave written the least of love- William Cullen
bryant was the only exception. A man falls
10 love as he tails down stairs-by accident
One Is more reckless in this question of life than
on any other subject, and yet il is the Question
that affects the whole future existence of mar
and woman too. In France divorce is unknown
Al L