The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-08-12
Sersr and cMnqge1se.

What goes most against farmers
grain2 His reaping machine.
If a flute conld speak, it would prob
ably say, swell I'm blowed.'
Of allthe birds thas please US with
their lays, the most popular is the hen.
The persons who most frequently
visit the watering places in summer are
milkmen.
The man who said he was s'wedded
to immortal worse, used to disagree
with his wife.
prosperity is no jast SCALE" says
Plutarch; "adversity is the only BAL
ance to weigh friends
A country newspaper, speaking Of
blind fiddler, says Although be can't
see he could saw. 80 :
s"Bummerhaven" is the euphonious
pet name bestowed on Dayton, Ohio,
on account of her $50 bar-rooms
Carleton calls Miss Emerson delib-
crate liar for claiming his "Betsy and
are Out" That isn't poetry.
The latest dehaition of gentleman
is "a man who can put on cheap col
lar without being conspicuous.
As an evidence that the race cannot
be civilized, a Georgia paper mentions
the case of darkey who returned q
Sl00 check which bank overpaid him.
The sale of the Minnehaha lands,
Minnesota, realized over S2oO, ,000,-
There was 5000 acres.
The Coyotero-Apache Indians, once
numbering 2,l00 people, have been
thinned down to eighty.
The taxable value of railway proper
ty in New Jersey is S13, ,730,330; of this
total $11 100000 is in. Jersey city.
The New York "Graphic" remarks
that not one American reader in thou
sand knows the difference between the
"Khanate of Khiva'' and the Chlorale
of Soda
Blonde hair is worth more than its
weight in gold. The metal costs about
eighteen dollars an ounce, while the
hair sells for from twenty to thirty dol.
lars. -
The native bred fungus of Australia
is as large as mans head; when cut,
it has the appearance Of rice, e,pudding.
1t is very tasteless and insipid, though
esteemed a great delicacy by the aho-
rigines.
The total number of persons who
emigrated from Ireland last year was
1871, of whom 46,74l were males, and
80, ,040 females. I. And the Gland of the
free' got by far the largest share Of
them.
The modest little sum Of fI91,70l,-
400 was expended in the purchase Of
Intoxicating liquors, in Great Britain
last year, being an increase of "A per
cent on the amount appended twelve
years ago.
Young Gent" Might I ask you,
miss-a-." Miss-"very sorry, sir,
but l am engaged for the next three
dances" 7. Cit is not dancing.
ah-it is-it's-beg your pardon, miss,
you are sitting on my hat"
/ An exchange says: "When you see
q bareheaded man following COW
through the front gate, and filling the
air with garden implements and profan.
lity, you may know that his cabbage
plants have been,set out" -
A youth and a maiden were dancing
the lancers. In the course of the inane
conversation which the dance necessi-
tates, he took to questioning her as to
her accomplishments. "Do you paint 7"
F., he asked. He wonders what on earth
she got mad about.
A high-school girl, just graduated.
said in her essay. "Let us avoid the
frivolities of life and pursue the noblest
ends only" The next day she was
moved to tears in an agonizing attempt
to decide the proper shade OF blue for
her complexion.
A New York paper says those haen
who place $40 bin on the desk of
government clerk as they go to maice
inquiries have their questions answered
with promptness and dispatch, and go
out feeling that the stories about red
! tape are malicious lies and ISLANDERS. Is
"Why don't you wash the bottom Of
your feet, John. ?" asked grandmother
of a boy when he was performing the
operation before retiring for the night;
to which he eravely replied, "WAT
uropnv vo,, do,,,t fl;,Iy fbof IN, on
| ing to stand up in bed, do you?"
"Wbat is your business" asked
Judge of prisoner at the bar. 'Well.
l s'pose you might call me locksmith."
when did you last work at your
trader" Last night, when I heard b
call for the rerlice, and I made bolt
for the street."
Punch thinks that il & young lady
wants TO keep her hands free from
chaps, all she has to do is to dress in
the present fashion, and let it he known
that she has no money Chaps, espe-
cially if they be sensible chaps, will
then let her hand alone very severely.
The man who bought dog to keep
off burglars, and had his sixty dollar
salt of clothes torn into strips and two
big mouthful taken out of his calves, in
trying to enter his own backyard, has
recovered from his canine attachment.
He yearns to realize on that animal.
A waterfall 2,eeo feet high has beer.
discovered in British Guinea by tire
Governor Surveyor of that colony. In
1870 the great Kaieteur Fall, 396 feet
wide and 750 feet high was discovered
by the same gentleman, who has ren,
dered many services to geographical
science.
A schoolboy's composition on tobac.
CO: This noxious weed was invented
by distinguished man named Walter
Raleigh. When the people first saw
him smoking they thought he was
steamboat, and as they had never heard
of such thing as a steamboat, they
were terribly frightened"
"1he mosquito is intensely religious"
said Sparqnes to his spouse, to day
'How so Y she inquired. Because he
is preying all the time," said Sparques.
Mrs SDatOues smiled at her hushand's