National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1873-05-09

"No, give it up"
"Well, may call myself philos-
opher Ny life is spent in studies OF
human nature-that makes n philos-
opher, doesn't it p
l assented, and he went on.
"My father intended me for a lawyer,
but it was too narrow business--too
littl scope for real genius--not excite
ment enough. In fact, invented my
present occupation--not to say invent
ed, exactly, but l struck out new
path, n new mode of treatment, based
on truly humane principles. Not but
what | can be severe if necessary, yet it
seldom is necessary. New and varied
acquaintances, the intimate ramifca
tions OF society, the mysteries of this
mundane life, the weaknesses and fol-
bles of humankind, all pass in review
before me-philosophically interesting
in short, sir, interesting in every
way -
This was delivered in highly rhetor-
ical tone and manner, and with such a
CLEAN of those blue-gray eyes, that for
a moment l doubted my companions s
sanity.
But you have not told me what the
ccupation is, / interposed
1T is difficult to comprehend and
embrace it 10y any known appelation.
To tell you in one word would be i'm
possible should have to enter large
ly into the subject"
"Just what would most interest me. "
"Do you understand. continued he,
grandiloquent.y, "the antagonism be-
tween buyer and seller, employer and
employed first man, middle man, aAd
public? ?"
Something of this have paid atten-
tion to-"
"Well, You are also familiar with the
credit system ?"
He brought one of his little twinkling
orbs to bear on me in a manner SO deli
cately insinuating, that / could posi-
lively feel myself changing color. l
nodded.
"The credit system, sir--the greatest
blessing of civilization, and the most
absurd of all our blessings. Have you
ever considered, sir, of the millions on
millions of individuals on this globe
who ar benefited, | may say vivitied,
by it Do you know to what it is con-
stantly subject? Did it ever occur to
you that to be in such case the medium
between persons holding opposite rela-
tions is one of the noblest. missions of
humanity? And yet, he added, with
an entire change of voice, and in tone
exceedingly pathetic, chow wearisome,
how never-ending the toll"
"In other words" / said, beginning
to be weary of his circumlocution, "you
are"
"a collector There !" he exclaimed,
" I see you are disappointed. l know
You would be SO. Ut was impossible
for me not to show it at such an i'm
potent conclusion.) But hold on.
told you no one word would define
what | meant, and have got to go into
the subject with you"
/ Isignitied my wish for him to proceed.
A" Yes, you may call me collector.
Understand, treat the business on the
highest grounds of psychology, hu-
manity, and animal magnetism. / shall
explain. l have for my constituents
doctors and dentists, retail merchants
of every sort, first-class mechanics, and
so on, and so on. Lawyers and clergy
men have little occasion for my services
but undertakers- fashionable under
takers frequently call in my assistance.
Imagine me with hundreds of these
bills in hand, ranging from ten dollars
to thousand dollars. | don't refuse
the very smallest These bills are
against persons of all grades of respec-
liability. Often, when put in my hand,
they are accompanied by suggestion
which the principal thinks he ought to
make, but which he does not expect |
will influence me much-nor does it.
For example, he will say, I want you
to collect one hundred and three dollars
from Jones. You must be sure to treat |
him with courtesy and not wound his |
feelings-he is a gentleman Now, if |
find Jones to be really gentleman, as
Perhaps he will tell me he can't pay at
present, and will explain why. The
explain part may all be manufactured |
out of whole cloth to save his pride /;
but / accept his statement of inability, |
and | sympathize with all my magnetism
with his excuse, and ask him to fix his |
own time, when | shall call for the |
money. He dislikes to fix too distant
day, but he postpones, say, for three |
weeks. l accept the date with alacrity. |
produce my memorandum book. Let |
me see-that will bring it to Thursday,
June 4th. Am very much obliged to
you, Mr.. Jones. Twill call o., that day. |
md | look at him courteously, but with
, full magnetic current, by which I am
brought into a peculiar relation with |
hat man, and he feels / mean busi- |
ness"
docs he pay on the day?'
"Not always. Perhaps he will give
ne a part, and manufactures another
fellows why WiH they lie
30 ?-or, he may really be obliged to
put me off again for the whole-recol-
ect, | am talking of gentleman, and
10 mistake; then | bring a stronger
current to bear, but always as the same
polite your humble servant, and the
lext fetches it. Why, such a man feels
is much relieved when he pays one of
ny bills as criminal does at verdict
If not guilty. Can't explain it myself
magnetism ~
" You have given me, L should judge,
very gentle example. You have much
larder cases p
I" 1 should say so 1 was about to
ell you. After seeing my people once
Il call them my people, for l take an
interest in them all-after
eeing them once, l classify right off
now just how to deal with each type,
ust exactly.
=" You have many divisions ?"
" A good many-reduce down to as
ew as possible. Besides the type 1
ave just mentioned, is the good-natur-
d, careless fellow, able to pay, not