davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18
VARIETIES.

A YOUNG lady studying French, and
finding that "belle" meant g fine, told
some one in letter that I've had
great deal of belle weather lately"
A KINGS fool who was condemned to
die was allowed to choose the form of
death, and chose old age. An Iowa girl
being asked what form of death she
preferred, remarked that if she must
die she preferred to be smothered-
with kisses.
An Albany damsel asked one of her
fellow boarders, stylish dry goods
clerk, at the breakfast table, Why is
your mustache like my back hair ?"
He blushingly gave it up. The answer
caused him to blush still more " Be
cause it is all dOmyl" -5,e
A LITTLE girl, who had great kindness
of heart for all the animal creation, saw
hen preparing to gather her chickens
under her sheltering wings, and shouted
earnestly, /" Oh don't sit down ON those
beautiful little birds, you great, ugly,
old rooster"
"THE fact il" said an orderly wife,
ga man does not know how to straighten
up things. He does not know where TO
commence / don't wonder, she re-
marked in conclusion, that when God
made Adam he went right to work and
made a woman to tell him what to do"
ONE of the bIuest of Bostonians, on
being requested by rich and vulgar
young fellow for permission to marry
"one of his girls" gave this rather
crushing reply: Certainly which
would you prefer, the waitress or the
cook p
"DocToR, what do you suppose is the
matter with my little boy?" "Why,
it is only corrustiffed exegis anti-spas-
medically emanating from the germ of
the animal refrigerator, producing
prolific source of irritability in the peri
ceanlty OF the mental profundlty.
"Ah, that's what / told Melinda, but
she lowed it was WORMS"
AFTER having won Low Jack and the
game, Gen. Davis commenced erecting
scaffold to have seven up.
The women pretend that they are in
need of suffrage, but they would be con-
tent with an eye in the back of their
head.-Dan6ury Ne,cs.
IT is surprising how quickly men who
dislike red hair will fall in love with a
red heiress.
A NOTED English clergyman recon-
mends to people to urn their dead.
Wouldn't he do better TO show them
how to earn their living?
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

SOME people will be surprised to
learn, remarks the Springfield Republi-
can, that the word {" its" is not found in
our English Bible; and more people
still, the Chicago AduancC asserts,
would be surprised if their attention
were called to the circrmlocution and
awkwardness to which our translators
were obliged to resort on account of the
lack of that little word, which had not
at that time been developed in the En-
glish language. They were obliged to
use as substitutes for it "whereof," and
"thereof," and especially "his, some
times to the extreme confusion of the
sense and in one memorable passage
they were compelled to change the
gender altogether, passing from "it'
over to "she, on account of the impos-
sibiIity of carrying on the translation
without the possessive of cit" which
they did not possess. The passage is
in the eightieth psalm and the exigen-
cies of the translation, going from Sit
to "she," and back again to "it," al
most destroy wonderfully fine ale
CORY,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

TIE World. OF San Diego, mentions
an instance where the workmeu grading
for railway near that city came upon
a colony of tarantulas. These venom
ous spiders attacked the Lishmen, and
actually drove the men into the water.
the only safe rstreat against such prey
ing insects.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

ONE OF the most conspicuous and
familiar of the objects around Niagara
Falls has disappeared Terrapin Tower,
built upon the narrow ledge of rocks nt
the extreme brink of the Horseshoe
Fall, has been climbed during the past
fifty years by millions of people from all
parts of the world, and they will doubt
less learn with regret that the venerable
mass of masonry has been destroyed.
The tower was built in 1923, was forty
five feet in height and twelve feet in
diameter at the base. The masonry was
massive, and its durability was thought
to have been abundantly demonstrated;
but, standing in such an extremely ex-
posed position, subject at all times to
the action of the spray and the driving
winds, and in the winter months ice
bound and frost-bitten, the stones and
wood have been gradually yielding to
the elements; and the structure was
pronounced unsafe last fall, and has
been closed to the public ever since. 1t
was blown up with gunpowder couple
of weeks ago, and a new iron tower will
take its place. sssi
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

THE Sk ULL or SHAhEhPEAhE.
A certain French Baron, whose scieR-
tific tastes led him to collect the skulls
of celebrated persons, one day received
visit from man with whom he was &C
customed to deal.
What do you bring me here p
asked the Baron, as the man slowly
unwrapped carefully-enveloped pack
age. tla. lt.lel 81
"The skull of Shakespeare.
Impossible 's
81 speak the truth, Monsieur le
Baron. Here is proof of what / say, y
said the dealer, producing some pa
pers.
"But," replied the Baron, drawing
aside the drapery which contained his
own singular collection, 81 already
possess that skull" @,s 20
"He must have been rogue who
sold you that" was the remark Of
! the honest dealer. "Who was it, Mon
sieur ?" ,.-, t.s
"Your father" said the Baron, in a
mild tone she sold it to me about
twenty-nine years ago."
The broker was, for q moment, COM
pletely disconnected, then explained,
with vivacity: ~"
81 comprehend. Be good enough to
observe the small dimensions Of the
skull on your shelf. Remark the mar
row occiput, theundeveloped fore head,
where intelligence is still mute. It is
of Shakespeare certainly, but Shakes
peare as a child IL or IA years old,
whereas this is that of Shakespeare
when he had attained certain age, and
had become the great genius of which
England is so justly proud"
The Baron bought the second head.
TIE PRESIDENT ON PROFANITY.
The Washington Evening Star In,
the following:
"On Friday, before leaving for Long
Branch, the President dropped in to SET
well-known citizen of Washington.
During his stay the daughter of the
gentleman referred to remarked that she
had heard pleasant thing about hin
(the President). The President inquired
to what she referred. i have been told
by an officer that served with you in the
army, said she, that he had been with
you under many trying circumstances,
and that in no single instance, no mat.
ter what the provocation, had he ever
known you to make use of profane Ian
guage. I was delighted to hear this,
especially in view of the fact that pro.
family is said TO be the rule, and not the
exception, among army officers. Viii
you excuse me, Mr.. President, if in
qnire if what / heard is true?' 1t is, ]
believe, modestly replied the President;
Il have always regarded profane Ian
guage rs unnecessary, to say the least,
and as am man of few words, / have
never been able to understand the neces-
sity for useless expressions of the char
acter referred to-"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

DOES advertising pay? If any one is
SO ignorant as to believe it does not,
let him read this, and be convinced of
the contrary: The colored bills which
Barnum will use up this year cost $3.50, :
900. His small bills, circulars, etc. /,
will cost $4,000. His advertising in
the newspapers will cost $3.50. 600.
Total, 500, 900, the whole of which is
expended in printers ink. What is the
result of all this tremendous advertis-
ing? Receipts exceeding SIC, 900 q day,
with a net profit of $780, week,
1920, 900 per month, or $s40, 900 for the
entire season.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-07-18

!" It was my stepiather as done it, "
says the boy, in a little, weak voice, but
az steady as could be. Fathers dead,
and mothers married again, and my
new father says as how he won't have
no brats about him eatin' mp his wages,
and he slowed me away when nobody
warn't looking, and guv me some grub
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30

to destination. No breakage Of bulk at
Lynchburg, and 10 charge for Draynge,
at any nnint
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
Melon Culture.

The best method of cultiyatine
melons is as follows "A sandy light
soil is selected. plowed and harrow
ed, holed out according to the varie
ty, watcrme!ons six feet, nutmeg
and muskmelons four to five feet
apart; good-sized holes are made to
hold a large shovelful of manure, as
much as you can take up from g
cart, and cover two or three inches
deep, level with the surface.
Hog pen manure, well fined and
worked mp, considerable muck OF
soil mixed in by the hogs after be
ing supplied, is considered the best
fertilizer This is covered about an
inch with soil, and on that the seeds
dropped eight to twenty, according
to variety, to provide for bugs. etc.
these covered with an inch Of soil,
compressed with the back OF the hoe.
Planting is done in May, right after
corn planting, late frost being past.
as supposed. Such light, warm soil
is thought to produce sweeter and
better melons than a heavier OF
loamy soil, and they certainly come
to maturity earlier. Growers can
determine by swapping with the fin
gers whether watermelons are ripe
or not, the sound on a ripe one being
more dead than that of a green one.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30

sort Of soil or barren earth, usefu
plants must be provided with thes,
elements which are deficient in tht
seed bed. One can make egregiou:
mistakes in the choice Of fertilizers
When domestic animals have been
picking and cleaning the scarce
atoms Of phosphate material in the
/ grass for ages pass. and the frames
Of herd after herd and flock after
flock have been built up Of the min.
ate particles of those elements that
form bone, the tiiIer Of the soil can
scarcely make a mistake by piling
bone dust or bone -four on his land.
Stable manure that is made by hor-
ses or neat cattle, which consume q
generous amount of meal or grain,
contains all the elements Of fertility
that almost any soil requires; yet it
would be a great mistake for a far
mer to apply strawy manure which
will yield little besides carbonaceous
material. to a mucky, peaty soil,
which requires inorganic or mineral
matter, such as lime, potash or soda,
and phosphate of lime. When there
is already supply of sulphate Of
lime in the soil, it would be unwise
to apply gypsum. When the ground
is already SO rich that crops fall
down if the soil is not Of a granite
character. the only fertilizer required
in many instances is potash, or the
silates of potash or of lime.
). Judicious management crowns
almost everything else. If farmer
is an unskillful, imprudent manager,
he will always need access to a city
treasury from which he may draw
supplies to pay the expenses which
should be cancelled by tie income
Of the farm. One laborer alone viii
usually accomplish far more in four
hours than four laborers will do in
one hour. A farmer should under
stand the most expeditions and eco
nomical ways of performing every
manual operation, so that if his en-
ployees are unskilled, he can show
them how. Two men are frequently
directed to cart manure, muck or
clay, when both will go a long dis
lance to the field to unload. and then
return and get another load A iu-
dicious manager will provide two
wagons so that one man may pitch on
a load in that time which he would
otherwise spend in travelling to and
from the field. The rule in the city
is to send from three to six men to
do what one man ought to perform
in the same time. Such manage
ment will never do for q progressive
farmer.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
What is a BIOOded Horse.

lie is a horse having more than an
ordinary amount of drops or pounds
Of blood in his system, in proportion
to the size and weight. This large
amount of blood acts upon his sys-
tenn through large heart. and cor
respondingly large arteries and
veins and, put in motion, it acts to
drive him to speed, the same as an
increased amount of fire under the
boiler A8es off a greater amount OF
steam, and makes the machinery go
faster. This large amount of blood
also acts in refining the skin, making
it and the horse finer than in a horse
Of less blood; it refnes and gives
elasticity to the muscles, the feet,
etc; it refines the entire horse,
making strong the valuable parts.
and fitting the whole system for
speed and endurance.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
Valuable House and Lot
FOR SALE

f.nF or THE MOST DESIRABLE RESIDENCES
~ IN n oarseka~n--a large two-story frame hnisd-
fnr with Eli on tlree-quarter acre let-neas IT, -
antg ard conveniently located, IL 0nere1 9nr sale
n A RAR5AIS. Tor further inftrmation apply 70
or address = Il, ~ 100
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30

1t is not well to whip, kick OF
scold balky horse. One of the
best modes is to feed him where he
stands, with accessible food. For
getting his within, he win generally
start without trouble. Another way
is to do something not harmful but
new; rs filing his mouth with loose
dirt, which desire to get rid of will
divert his thoughts. and before he
knows it ne win be jogging uncon-
sciously along. If one can spare
the day it il best to wait till from
WEAKNESS and hunger the animal
submits to your will, and the triumph
in this instance is generally com
pIete.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
Miscellaneous Cards.
THE NASHVILLE
REPUBLICAN BANNER.

IF YOU WISH TO SUBSCRIBE TO A FIRST
1class daily, tri-weekly weekly family newspa-
per, take the NASHVILLE REPUBLICAN BANNER, is
sued from the Capitol and commercial center of
Tennessee-the oldest established paper in the
state. 1t has acquired distinction with the public
and among its contemporaries for its enterprise in
securing the freshest news and the concise and con-
vneient manner of presenting it; for its accuracy
as market reporter; for the progressive spirit and
conservative tone Of its political teachings for be-
ing a i've INDEPENDENT and sincere political Jour-
nal thoroughly identified with the political and ma
terial interests Of its State and section It gives
10 600 words Of telegraph from al parts of the
world daily-the best market report, the freshest
local news-and its originality is its distinctive
speciality.
THE TRI-WEEKLY BANNER
VIII contain the cream Of the news of the Daily
with its Geographic dispatches and market reports.
THE WEEKLY BANNER,
a complete compendium Of the news of the Daily
and TTi-Weeky issues, win be 1rst-cass Literary
journaI--an Instructive and entertaining weekly
visitor to the Family Circle.
L II r. M S
Daily-12 Months SO 90
Tri-W eekiy-12 Months. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 90
Weekly-12 Months. ......+..-..... 90
cry club of ten cash subscribers for any proposed
Remit through the mails by money order or by
10 paper sent after subscription term expires,
except 10y cash renewal. Address
ROBERTS & PURVIS,
Nashville, Tennessee.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
through Tickets good Until Used
Baggage Checked Through.
Sleeping Cars on all Trains!
EUROPEAN EMIGRRNTS!

Having made arrangements with the Z" A.
Ian Line ct Steamships which ply semi
monthly between Liverpool and Norfolk,
a., we can now sell tickets to and from
Liverpool, at
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30

The stratum Of soil needs to be
deepened to be more thoroughly pull
verified and to be made richer. Any
means that may be adopted that will
accomplish these ends will be Of
value a. a remedy against drouth,
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
7 WO DAILY TRAINS!

and Boston,
Via Norfolk, and the splendid Steamships
that leave regularly, in connection with
this Railway, that City, for the above places.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
CHEAP AND FAST FREILHT LINE.

New arrangements have been made by
which this has become the great FAST
FRnGHT LINE to all parts of the country.
Time as QUICK, and rates as low as by any
other route. Goods and Produce, Of all
kinds, forwarded in
TEROTTG~ CAPS
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

been broken. IL has often beeufthata mixed
and Goddess system--inevitsbIe perhaps% In
England BIZ rensonG Of it's Iendiess confusion-
should eplacsd upon n Catholic people where
IL can have no place, >Likewisoin England from
the time 81. Augustine founded the SEQ OF
Canterbury, the Christian educstion,has never
been interrupted. This 10 tho issue Of the next
general election. Shall 1t be interrupted uow'
Shall that Christian tradition be broken /; aye.
shall it be enfeebiedf ] hope every Catholic
eleotor in Crest Britain and In IRELAND will
give his vote ut the next general elsctior unoR
that point. That 10 the one issue and whom
the trial comes, II the decision is against ms,
wo shall know where wc are. Ifthe decision
10 for us, We shall have retarded the evil day, l
know not how long; but whatsoever De the
issue let as scquit Ourselves as Christian mep,
and may God defend the right.
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

mighs be called u Home KuIs deuIODsi ration,
tool for nearly all the Sneakers, including the
DR.. Magee. p. p fully declared for Home Rule.
The land act WINS unequivocally condemned as
wholly inadequate, and instances of it's in
equitable working were quoted in abundance.
Queen Victoria has astonished us by sUb-
sorrbing E250 to the fund for the family Of The
late John Francis Mcguire. Her Majesty, gen
orally speaking, contributes very seldom to
any such fund snd whom chs does, it is
sidered, she has acted creditably in this in
stance. r. J. O..
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

French commission, appointed to investi-
gate the subject, have ad vised, as the result of
u careful examination, that a6siuthe be inolu-
ded in the list of posons, and that its sale be
intcrdicted excepting on the prescription of q
physiciau. Not only does the drug Itself pos
sess poisonous properties, but its use is always
accompanied by an iuOrdinate consumption of
alcohol: aud is is stated that some who are
addicted to it have been known to take thirty
glasses of absinGhe day, tho greater part Of
which Is absolute alcohol.
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

Joseph Arch, the Originator Of Ahe Agricul-
turHl Laborers' Union, and leader of that
greatest of all the labor lagitatiODs of modern
than any other man nsEnsland. He has con-
Quoted himself with signal ability, frmness-
aud discretion, keeIiug his movement out of
the hands of political Gemagagues, and max,
ing l. irresistible on the points upon which he
concentrated its force. He is about forty years
of age, and Mr.. Mccarthy describes him as q
stout robust, hord-cheeked, daIk-eyed man,
with that curious stoop of the shoulders
which, somehow, one seems to identify at once
with the English agricultural counties.
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20
r. MccLosKETs
oyster Saloon and Restaurant
Nos. 20 and ~ st. Charles street.

take pleasure in announcing to friends and "
Rubnc that i have opened tret-clRss OYSTRS
sALOON and RESTAURANT at the above place
The hSnse ha& been thorsaghy repaired and ttteAP
Ladies' and Gentlomen's Saloon up stairs,
All the luxuries 81 the season. such Rs OYSTBkS
FISH GAME etc., viii be served up the best style
Tho best of WINES and LIQUORS always hand
oc27 6m .rla. A Q. HERON. Manager.
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

PURE BOURBON and RYE Whisky a,,rsv. q,
hand direct from McGibbon & Bros.'s Celebrated Dis
tillery CynthiSna, KY. ~
Also. Agent for the Celebrated BRAZILIAN HERR
BITTERS and RECTIFYING CHARDAI, 60 70 II
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

OWING TO THE HARD TINES, PARTIES
~ ~ having PIANOS, FURNITURE, etc, TO be RR-
MOVED, PACKED SHIPPED, would and ie 10
their advantage to Gala Z. SHOOTER ooFnor Cam
Sna Matches stTeets leave their Iders a. J. W. Mad
gon % Camp street BlAokmara RuaSe SSoTo 3Oi
Uansl etreet All work aenO prompt and with care as
'oo AoNses raves RhI6IIJ
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20
CASSIDY q MILLER,
SAILMAK E RS.

COTTON DUCK Agent, Manufacturers OF Every De-
sCrption OF TENTS, TAKPAUL Inns, AWNINGS
etc:, eto Dealers in all Sises and QUALITIES of
MANILA and TARRED ROPR PIIR-
CHASE BLOCKS, all slEes.
Wholesale aud Retail Dealers in Bunting for Flag,
ell oOlors and quntiea .
Flags of all Nations made TO order and on hand at q
times.
desired style OF bDish dne SILK FLAGS OF BAENERS-
Our isctes and long experience In business jus5iheS
ne in oeng our Servoes all requiring anything in
our line. aud our work Shau be FirSt RSts and our
prioes quite moderate.
CASSIDY q H--LER,
1oT----.->>---... Pe3SrS, ~ ,l.-.-.....-....--.A
op1Sly BetUI.a, Camp and Magazine
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

SoNDRlEs---- ---.r.- --..----- .suNDR1Es
We offer for sale. in lots, Quantities to suit pur
-chasers, at the Lowest Market Price
100 casks CLEAR BACON SIDES.
so casks C. R. BACON SIDES
. $50 casks BACON SHOULDERS
so casks DRY SALTED sH0ULDERs
= goo bbls. HEAVY MESS PORK.
SO tierces Hughes, Goslee & Co.'S ''KENTUCKY
HAMS"
25 terces BEARGRASS HAMS.
leo terces Choice Refined LARD.
100 kegs Choice Refined LARD.
S? boxes Choice BREAKFAST BACON
so frkins Choice GOSHEN BUTTER
so hrkins Choice WESTERN BUTTER
so bbls. OLD CHICKEN-CoCK WHISKY
100 hf bbls. OLD CHICKEN COCK WHISKY.
IS bbls. Celebrated MAGNOLIA WHISKY.
IS ibis. New York GIN.
IS bblS. Now York BRANDY
FINNEY. SHEEHAN & RUSS
o...x No. IS P0ydras Street,
0o0H11 New Orleans.
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

ToHN @. RYAN,
WHOLESALE LIQUOR DEALER,
AND RICHTER OF SPIRITS.
Sole Agent for and keeps constantly on hand tho Gale.
brated OLD RI w n is SKIES from the
wen.known Bonded W arehouse of DAVID GIL.
T1NAN corner Of Front and Dock streeu0,
Philadelphia which will cell at the
LOWEST MARKET RATES
thankful for the liberal patro heretofore bestowed
upon me, hope for eontn of the same at my
old stand, No. W TCHOUPITOULAS STREE0 wbele
will do my utmost to give general ssssacion 70 thoso
WEo may favor me with their0raokos ~ - :
Please call and examine foi 7ahyselsost nosem \
The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1873-04-20

E. J. WEST, -
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS.
PLANTATION HARDWARE AND MACHINERY
lis and III Magazine Street,
AGENT
Poole Hunt (Baltimore) Steam Engines, Saw Mills
z; slandy GAINESVILLE, Ohio, team Engines Saw
B. "; Payne & Sens Corning. Now York; Steam En-
George L squier 6 Bro tBufalo, Now YorfJs Sugar
Mill, Horse Powers, etc.
E Ball Co. Canton, Ohio "World" and "Oho" NOW
era.aDd Mowers aud Reapers combined.
d. M Osborne & Co. Kirby Mowers etc.
Is. q. Taylor. Hay Rakes.
"Niahwitz " and Monroe" Pulvorizing Harrows.
"Excelsior" Lawn Mower.
r. BAH Go. (Toreester, Massachusetts) Wood WORK
ing Machi1ary.
H. B Smith tsrnthville, New Jerssy) Woodworking
American EGaie Saw Company, Nsw York.
Hubbard, Lippincott Bakewell & Co., Saws
tSnnpowder" Copper Works, Baltimore
Moline Plow Company, Flows and Cuitivators.
Wlnehip & BrD. (Atlsnta, Georgis) Cotton Gins.
"SC1srd cuitivatOr and sastley' and PfeI gang
Buckeye" Foundry. Bells CO.,
b j. Weet's Cotton Seed HRlieR.
b j. West'e Improved FELTON, Patent" GTiet Nh ano
= Corn Cob and Shuck Crasher combinod
- " Aisbet (Maoon, Georgia. Cotton Press SSaeES'
SseGEel I 49, 11-o