The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-03-21
LIVELY.

LIVELY.
The first news-carrier. Noah's
dove.
TheImountain is apt to over
shadow the hill, but the hill Is a
nflfty.
lSome men are so absorbed IN re-
Lii ion that they forget to pay their
d}bts. 1 @ eeJ
lit took twenty-five years Of agi-
tbtion to establish the Thanking
lA3use. q
An Allentown storekeeper, who
does his own printing, has ''Cidsr
Vinegar" for sale. % sa| -
A popular parlor magazine
big kerosene lamp. They furnish
matter for the million.
The cold in Minnesota has caus-
ed shrinkage of one column each
in two st. Paul papers.
He who reads no ne wspapers Of
any kind is only spared Of heaven
that he may sit on q jury,
There arc twenty-five stove firms
in Troy, and each one adyertises
"the best stoves in the world"
Satan is the first tramp" men.
toned in history; he went to and
fro on the earth looking for job.
The lowest thing Southerner
says he has read lately in North
ern journal is the THERMOMETERS
record. GlG "ac ~
Louisville has great expectations
of a literary club just started,
with forty-fiYe dime novels for a
library. as
Mrs. Darlington says that she
never had the smallpox-not she.
She was ipoculated years ago by
an ocuIist.
They had a typographical hop at
Lacrosse the other night. A
drunken printer hoped out of a
fourth-story window.
An exemplary but impecunious
church goer in Houston, Texas,
recently put his revolver in the
plate for the missionaries.
A reporter of the Poughkeepsie
Eagle interviewed a winter menag-
erie and left most of his trousers on
the bars of the cage occupied by
the hyena.
In 1871, England sent to the
United States books of the value
of more than q million dollars in
gold. She received from this coun-
try less than $50, 900 worth.
A cow at Rome, Ga, lay down
recently and her tail froze to the
ground. A Southern paper, in
giving a pathetic account of the
affair, says that when the cow got
up there was another snap.
The Hartford Post says: "In
the introduction of postal cards
we are behind England, Germany,
Switzerland, Belgium, Holland,
Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Rus
sia, Spain, Portugal and Greece,
and ahead of the Modocs."
The body of a well-dressed man
was found on the Harlem road.
There was nothing about his per-
son to indicate who he was, except
three brilliant diamond rings,
which seemed to indicate that he
was either horse doctor or a ne
gro minstrel.
In a recent debate q member of
the California legislature exclaim-
ed: "The Honorable gentleman
from Calaveras county is no doubt
a person of great abilities, q man
of talent, natural born genius;
but there is one thing which defy
him to do, and that is to bite the
bottom of a frying pan without
shutting his nose"
One of the Ohio papers tells
about brave little boy out there
who found a broken rail on the
railroad track, and perceiving the
peril in which the train would be
placed if it came dashing past
without warning, sat out on the
fence for five long hours in the
bitter winter cold, in order that he
might carry the first news of the
accident to his father, who is local
editor of a paper published in
the neighborug village.
| An Akron, Ohio, cat, relying
opon his nine lives to save him,
allowed his tail to swell, his spine
to curve, and with the ''banner cry
of help emanating from his jaws,
waded into buzz-saw in rapid
motion. The cat was never seen
again, but the boss sawyer, who
always stood with his mouth open
while at work, remarked to his as
sistant that he could "taste fiddle
strings and sausage meat in the air
that morning."
A Kentucky editor received the
following note from a subscriber,
asking that q false notice of bis
death might be corrected: 81 not
is a fue errors in the obituary OF
myself which appeared in your pa
per of last wednesday, / was born
in greenup co, not caldwell, and
my retirement from business in
1869 was not OWN to i'll helth, but
tn a little trubble he'd with &
horse, and the cors of my detL
was not small pox. plese maik
correckshuns for wich inclose 81
sentz." a