The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-02-21
Peculiar Patents.

1dbe1t OllIc0 ailu 1QVSSb1gab6 Bl0 luOl
crous element in patents-showine
where genius has been misappled anC
where common sense has been wanting
We copy its description of some o.
these monuments of loves labor lost:
In 1870, the owner of certain bee
hives irritated by the loss of his honey
by the bee moth, asked for patent fol-
q combined hen Toost and lee hive He
had noticed that the bee moth travels
at night, while the bee works by day
His desire, therefore, was for a device
that should admit the worker by day
and keep out the thief by night This
his ingenuity effected by the erection OF
hen roost pivoted on a bee hive provid
ed with gas. The bees were expected
to be in their cells just before dusk
the hens lighting on their roosts were
then to close the gates of the hive, and
keep them shut all night. The early
rising of the fowls would automatical-
ly open the gates again, and return the
bees-their honey all safe, to the airs OF
heaven and the flowers of earth. He
received his patent.
Another applicant asked for a patent
right for an artificial moon, that should
light each town that used it without ex-
pense. His eye had often been struck
by the reflection of distant windows at
sunset, and how far that light travelled.
He therefore proposed a balloon for
each town, sufficiently large to raise a
large reflector that was to be hoisted
every evening at dusk (about the time
the hens shut in the bees.) The refiec-
ton of the suns rays, cast downward
To IrrlRt If
through all the darkness of the night.
Fortunately for himself, this inventor
presented this application through a
patent attorney, who told him it was
doubtful if it could be obtained.
Only three years have passed away
since a very ingenious gentleman from
the rural districts applied for patent
to prevent cows from switching their
tails! He presented two models-one
shaped like a bottle, around the neck of
which the cows tail was to be curled );
the other consisted of square block,
with hole through the centre, wherein
the tail was to be put, and then tied in
a knot, so that the animal could not
withdraw it. On the presentation of
the application, the official examiner
thought it could not be granted because
of similar device III "Dcn QuixOtte, !"
where Sancho Panza, trying to sleep in
the hay-loft, was kept awake by the
braying of his donkey below. His
wakefulness gave Sancho time to reflect
that, when riding the donkey, the an
imal switched his tail when he brayed.
Descending hastily from the hay-loft,
the squire tied a block to the donkey's
tail to prevent him from brayiDg. But
as the device originated with Span
lard, and had never been repeated in
this country, the officer decided to
grant the patent. Our readers Will,
therefore, remember that they cannot
tie a cows tail to prevent its switching
payment of royalty to the
owner of the privilege.
If "Don Quixotte" anticipated one
of our American patents, Coleridge's
" Ancient Mariner" performed the same
office for another, when he says:
The air is cut away before
And closes from behind"
Noticing how vessels are delayed by
the necessity of putting aside the water
that Obstructs their way, an ingenious
gentleman asked for patent for put
ting in front of the vessel a series of
hollow wheels whose blades should act
as paddles. These wheels would lift
the water so speedily out of the way
that the water would have to rush in to
fill the void. This motion of the YES
sci would give the wheels another turn,
and then the wheels would once more
lift the water, and thus draw the vessel
ON. And so the motion of the vessel
would turn the wheels, and the turn of
the wheels would draw the vessel. This
applicant for perpetual motion was so
certain of success that, to provide for
the only difficulty he could see-which
was in the too rapid motion of the YES
sci, that would tear itself to pieces-he
provided an anchor with a spring cable
to it, that he might check the vessel
from its too rapid speed. The examin-
er, however, might have given his de-
cisien in the next verse of the "Anclent
Mariner"
ely, brother, fly more high, more high,
Or we shall be belated;
Far slow and slow that ship shall go,
Till the mariners trance is abated."
An applicant for patent for wooden
pavements proposed to mount each
block of wood on springs. He claimed
that this would remove all jar in riding,
and obviate the necessity of springs on
carriages.
Another gentleman applied for a pa
5ent for heating canals by steam, so that
boating could go ON in winter as well as
n summer. The office decided that
his invention was worthy of protection,
md gave him his patent.
Another applied for combination of
clock and bed, so ingeniOusly contrived
hat, when the clock struck, the bottom
If the bed dropped out. He claimed
hat this plan would probably awaken
he sleepers.
As early as IT'S, Mr.. James Pashile
a swivel gun in England, with
he motto
: Defending King George, your country and laws,
Is defending yourselves aud the Protestant
cause"
The novelty of this plan was that this
gun fired two kinds of balls-a square
ball and round one. The round ball
vas to be used in all fights against
christian nations the square balls,
hat would nangle the flesh more, only
n contests with Turks and other
leathen. This gentleman of old time
must have been the ancestor of Mark
Twain, of this country, who so lost his
emper because the Secretary of War
'efused to recommend his gun for
patent. Mr. Twain's idea was to have
swivel gun that should load ut the
centre and should fire off at both ends
N case of a siege, he proposed to load
he gun, set it whirling, and drop it
outside the city walls. Before the balls
eft the mouth of the cannon they
would acquire such a rotary motion that
hey would sweep round the walls out
ide of the town, killing off all the
Desieging host. We must acknowledge,
however, that we have looked in vain
IN the records of the office for Mr..
Fwain's name, and hence we infer he
never received his patent.
Hog Pens.
Why not make good, comfortable
,tye, using bricks or stones? Also have
/ number of them, so that each genera
ion can be kept distinct whenever de-
'irable. There is positively no greater
nuisance than number of ravenous
logs around, and it can easily be proved
i at whenever they are managed in the