The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-01-10

A hindrance to marrisg ge-Govern-
ment tax on matches.
Consolation for the The
world abounds with him-perfections.
To Drunkards-The pawnbroker's
Is not the proper place to take the
pledge.
An Irish editor congratulates him
self that shalt the lies told about
him amt true"
Don't take to much interest in the
affairs of your neighbors. Six
per cent, will do.
A party hearing of q dog after
Landseer, wanted to know what he
was after him for.
A piscatorial party is what they
call it now, When we were boy
they called it goin' fishing.
There is widow in England who
enjoys an income Of $3.50, 200 q year
She has no other membranes.
The Louisville Couser-Jo,isnaf,
speaks of well-known newspaper
man as assistant idiot on the.
We cannot complain of women's
extravagance now. She wears her
dresses long enough, goodness
knows.
A printer recently made s'Be Ye
Therefore Steadfast," the text of a
minister's sermon, "Be Ye There for
Breakfast"
A Maine alderman, invited to at
tend centennial jubilee, replied. II
can't attend this one but, I'll go
next time"
t'The earth is the Lords" "Lost
40x60 for $3.50" were adjoining
inscriptions at the Sea Cliffs camp
meeting grounds.
This is western item: ssKemp's
brewery, with s35 900 of proscriptive
lager, went up in fiery chariot at
Dubuque last week.
When q couple of young people
strongly devoted to each other, COM
mence to eat onions. il is safe to pro-
nounce them engaged
A Leavenworth editor sat down in
a reserved seat already occupied by
a hornet. He sta nds up when
scissoring his editorials now.
Two newspaper editors in Mon
tana Territory BET their Offices,
good will and all, on a Congressional
election in certain district.
ssThere, now," cried little Bessie
the other day, ruulmaging drawer
in the bureau, grandpa has gone to
heaven without his spectacles.
The Rondout Times has been yicti-
mized by trave ling ''jour" printer,
who is described as ga short, scraw-
ny individual. with more jaw than a
government mule.
A man who had invented q new
receipt for Gle aning clothes, parades
it on his Advertisements under the
standing head of every Man His
Own Washer-womanl'
A Western girl who has been well
brought up. knocks down every man
that kisses her, and she is SO pretty
that half the married and all the sim
gle men in town have black eyes.
Miss Ida Winslow, of Saltwater,
Mimi, received very valuable gold
ring at county Fair lately, having
been voted by the male attendants
the handsomest lady on the grounds.
This is personal item in the most
approved style of the Western pa
pers: Jacob Bungander blew into
the muzzle of his gun to see if it was
loaded. It was. a funeral on Sum
day.
A few years since, at the celebra-
ton of our national anniversary, a
pedler who was present, being called
upon for toast, offered the follow
ing:-"Here is health to poverty;
it sticks to a man when all his friends
forsake him."
4 lady friend. writing from the
White Mountains, says, eft rains
here three weeks at time-none of
your drilling, misty, dewy rains,
but genuine storm that comes down
as If it loved to, and had plenty of
water to carry on the business.
An old carpenter who had been
employed at job work by an old lady,
was asked why people of his trade
always charged more in proportion
for cofins than they did for chairs
and tables. stWell, you see, ma'am
it's just because people won't bring
cof6ns back to be repaired"
A clergyman created quite a mer-
riment the other day on one of our
steamers, going over to lay out new
camp-meeting resort, by the inquiry:
"What positive proof is there that
King David and his SON Solomon
were tailors?" No one in the crowd
could answer, and the humorous
divine quoted the familiar passage:
"And Solomon mended the breaches
which David his father, had made"
A German marble-cutter of Albany
has instituted suit against we'll
known dealer for payment of wages.
The workman was instructed to cut
upon a tombstone, .Let her soul
rest in peace" but being cramped
for want of space he abbreviated the
sentence thus: "Let her soul r. j. p."
The person who ordered the stone
would not accept it, and it was re-
turned to the owner.
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LAWS OF THE STATE OF OREGON.