The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-07-22
From the New York Commercial Advertiser
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North American Drummer aud his
Habits.

IFrnn, the New York Commercial Advertiser
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North American Drummer and his
Habits.
Everybody has heard of a Commercial
Drummer" he is creation peculiar TO
american commerce. He has as many ribs.
fingers, and toes rs an ordinary mortal; by
his cheek We shall know him. His aplomb
is prodigious. He loves tue great West"
and there he is chiefly seen, and can best be
studied. In the railway coach, the steam
boat, The stage coach, the hotel, he is as
much at home as Welsh parson in cheese
factory. Who is that sleek individual who
sit, on the outer side of the car, occupying
four seats, when he pays only for one! How
sweetly, how innocently ignorant he is Of
the fact that there is car full of passengers
looking for seats His head is buried in
railway guide, and soundy he sleeps while
Tie train is at standStill at a station.
Shrcwd rat he knows well enough there
will be u crush" tor seats. As soon as
everybody has disposed of himSelt-three in
Il seattle awakes from pleasant dream,
stretches his legs, and smiles blandly on all.
He sits mt the head of the table in the best
hotel in the town. You deem him some
local magistrate who cuts of coupons for
amusement. The dishes are drawn up in
trout Of him in serried rows. He arranges
them in the shape of blockhouse, aud
looks at you through the portfolios, and
smiles. He doesn't smile ut you because he
loves you, but because his food tickles his
stomach and makes him good-natured. He
calls the waitress by her first name. She
doesn't leave his side for an instant, save to
hand him the last dish of the first peas OF
tI,.N had. Inx ,rl. af
your hungry eyes on. The landlord enters
and pours out glass of water for him, and
offers him cieur He takes it as though
he were President of our glorious republic.
The landlords pretty daughter dresses his
salad, and che begins to wonder which half
OF the State he owns, and what be holds it
at. You expect to zee somebody wag his
JAWS for him. You hear the chamhermaids
giggling in corner, and Mr.. Sharpedge's
name hilariously mentioned. You subse-
auently learn that MIR. S. is a hardware
drummer.
Strolling into the hotel-office, Mr.. S. is
seen occupying three chairs. He is cracking
jokes while an admiring crowd are cracking
bottles for him. Perhaps Mr.. Calico, dry.
goods drummer; Mr.. Felt, hat drummer;
and Mr.. Alspice, a grocer's agent, are pre-
sent The hotel-keeper cannot do enough
for Messrs. Sharpedge, Calico, Felt, aud ALI
spice. He would cut the throat OF every
other boarder il he thought it would atnuse
them. Drummers tyranniZe over landlords.
Should hotei-keeper offend u commercial
agent, every bum q mean drummer)
soon knows it. Not long ago an Illinois
landlord detected Chicago drummer tuck
ing cigar up his coat-sleeYes and accused
him of it. The landlords apartments are as
comfortable as are afforded by any country
alnshouse.
Sometimes drummers perpetrate practical
Jokes on one another. 1t is some time be-
fore green drummer's eyes are opened to
the kittepish pranks of his fellows. A
friend Of mine was once drummer, but he
retired from the profession as soon as he bad
collected various triilipg little sums which
many Of his brethren had borrowed.
remember Joke which was played on
my friend by four dry-goods drummers. He
will always remember it, and he confidently
expects some time or other to see its perpe-
traitors looking sadly through prison.bars.
He was young and green. 1t was bis first
trip. In st. Louis he fell In with Chicago
drummer. My friend had been complaining
of the high rate of railroad fare.
Why," asked one Of the gentlemen
mentioned, "dont you belong to the
Agents Cooperative Beneficial SeIfSustain-
Ing Commercial Association"
"By Joge! it's splendid thing, said the
other. Every agent belongs to it. No mem.
Der Of the Agents Cooperative Benefieia!
self.Sustaining Commercial Association
ever pays any fare. they have secret signs,
which all the conductors recognize. Better
join. We arc officers, and viii Initiate you.
1t costs only 800
''All right said my friend. .Iu join.
Here lisa draft for S2e on my urn :"
Champagne supper, and tue secret sign was
dignised. He had only to run bis middle
titlge, oyer bis cheek and nose ard utter the
sounds = Chebupg wung-wapg.Wung," and
The conductor would pass on, unless he
stepped TO offer him a cigar and pull at