The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-03-20
OUR CHIP-BASKET

Deecner Calls doubt "G0ds morning
star"
In what suit does man never feel COM
Portable Pin lawsuit.
The home circuit Walking about with
baby in the night.
Why is the letter G like the love of mis-.
chief?-Because it makes harm charm.
A man that don't know anything will tell
it the first time he gets a chance.
If the whole world were to agree to speak
nothing but the truth, what an abridgment.
Of speech there would be.
Kansas is blessed with representative
named Tough, and a senator named Moon
light.
Flipkins says that there are three sexes
the male sex, tic female sex, and the in
sects.
An old bachelor compares life. to a shirt
button, because it so often hangs by a
thread.
A man who takes drink because he is
crossed in love, always has the sympathy of.
the women.
1t is now claimed that the architect of the
great "Chinese wall' was woman; but
woman wouldn't do any thing to keep men
out in that way.
A young woman fondling her newborn
babe, and young man his new-mustache,
are two Of the most beautiful sights in the
world.
What is the difference between cloud and
beaten child? One pours with rain, and
the other roars with pain.
Model wives formerly took stitch in time;
now, with the aid of sewing machines, they
take one in no time.
awe find that he came to his death from
calling Bill jackson liar" was the verdict
of coroner's jury in Missouri.
Man and wife are generally called one.
Some people, though, reckon them as two.
But ten is the proper calculation Of some
cOuples-tho wife one, I'D the husband a
cypher.
A Germantown woman, who has beon
reading in the papers that Sunday marriages
are illegal, writes to know how it is with a
baby born on Sunday. IF so, which shall be
punished-the father, the mother, or the
baby?
A cool specimen of humanity in the west
stepped into printing Office to beg news
paper, saying, I'VE like to read the news
very much, but our neighbors are too stingy
to take one"
1T is very difficult to livc," said a widow
with seven girls, oil in genteel poverty
"You must husband your time," said sage
friend. "Pd rather husband some of my
daughters" answered the poor lady.
."Mrs. Jcnks," said little red-headcd
girl, with pug nose and bare feet, ''mother
says will you oblcege her by leHdin' her a
stick of fre-wood filling this cruet with vim
egar, putin little soft soap in this pan,
and please not let your turkey gobler roost
on our fence"
They have just had an earthquake in
Oregon which shook up the people good
deal One loving husband, who had "just
stepped out to see man on business" rush
ed home with billiard cue, that he had
forgotten to replace, in his hand.
A little boy asked DR.. Burgess, the preach
er, if he would have light. " No, my
child" said the doctor; d" am one Of the
lights of the world" "I wish, then," re-
piled the boy, "you were hung at the end of
alley, for it is a very dark one."
An Irishman, fresh from the ould coun-
thry, found tree full of green persimons,
climbing to the top helped himself to the
fruit. A passer by heard him say: "Be the
powers, and I'm the lad that can knock the
socks off the man that poured vinegar on
these plums."
When DR.. johnson asked the widow Por-
ter to be his wife, he told her candidly that
he was of mean extraction; that he had an
uncle hanged. The widow replied that sho
had no money herself, and though she had
not relative hanged, she had fifty who de-
served hanging. So they made match
of it.
A lady was met by young gentleman
whose coat button caught the fringe OF ner
shawl. Some moments elapsed before the
parties were separated. 81 am attached to
you, madame" said the young gentleman,
good humoredly, while he was trying to gel.
loose. "The attachment is mutual, slr,"
was the equally good humored reply.
A CELEBRATED M. d. coming out Of a
coffee-house, an impudent broken apothecary
met him at the door, and accOsted him with
a request to lend him five guineas; "Sir
said the DOCTOR II am surprised that you
should apply to me for such favor, who do
not know youw "Oh, my dear sir" replied
the apothecary "it is for that very reason
for those who do, won't lend me a farthing
The following episode occurred recently:
Two ladies were chatting gaily, when tho
A.. Al,