Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-01-10

lG Ouls
I supposed the pieces to be so many
peanuts, and each pod of each peanut
to have two kernels Gas usual, until |
came to the twenty-seventh peanut, and
that to have three kernels. Now after
counting a certain number Of peanuts
{ in my mind) [ commeced the amalga-
mating process.
You can readily see how easy it be-
came after this. '
[ hope I make myself understood.
Oh, but didn't I chuckle when l got
through with that? You bet I did!
And nearly all the boys were still
just reading it. First they would turn
the paper upside down, and then down.
side up, and then squint at it sideways.
Then they would turn it over on it's
back and hold it up to the light, and
try to see through it that way.
But they never once thought of the
peanuts, as I did!
And at three o'clock nearly all of
them were in the same insane state of
idiocy, as far as getting at a solution
of that question was concerned. And
some of them, I am grieved to say, have
remained almost idiotic to this day
so-and all on account of
that cruel question of the Examining
Board.
Talk of conundrums! Beat that one
if you can!
But we were through with the
mathematical part Of the business at
last.
And I, for one, was gald of it.
After this, geography.
Now the way some of those chaps
had been examining themselves in ge-
ography, grammar, history, &C., was
something fearful to contemplate
They had neglected their wives, babes,
and sweethearts (even their whiskeyD
had set up all night, night after
night-had drove nearly every one con-
nected with them half distracted had
neglected their duties in the office
had been going from room to room,
asking the most absurdly ambiguous
questions, always ending with ssD'ye
give it a ?'' t4t. zssii 6 u shed them
selves into the belief That they were
fully posted, and ready for any sort
of an examination.
But you've no idea how easy the
question in geography, &C., were. I'll
only cite few on each topic, just to
show you.
For instance-"Where is the north
pole?'
[ saw in an instant that there was a
catch in this, so [ wrote down without
hesitation, "On the map"
Here's another-"Where is the equa-
tor, and of what does it consist?"
Another catch. "Why it's black
line drawn around the globe, ofcourse. :"
"What river runs the longest, leaps
the highest, and falls the oftenest %
[ knew this must be the Niagara, so
l put that down.
But that will do for the geography
part.
Then we had letter to correct in
photography and punctuation.
That's another thing | am bully on,
so [ tackled that without fear as to
the result.
I made copy of that letter, and here
it is:
"In thee revolutionary war; Knut-
Crackers wur unknone But as some
one sed wen the american Egel purch-
ed ON the Summat of cottopacksi Civ
Nee libberty ur Civ NEE deth Soc mai
the Nell Of thyme wacks harder and
stronger as Eech Sucksessive muve-
ment Nv thee injun trybes bares them
ountoe peece, prosperity, whiskee and
Skalp nyves, bye raising mummy to bye
them meating housen and him Dukes"
Any chap that has ever been to school
and studied his lessons, and learned
them, could put that all straight in
jiffy, which | proceeded to do.
Grammar was next in order.
| must confess, right here, that there
is one thing that | don't know much
about, and that is book grammar.
It's very good study to get the young
ideas pretty we'll mixed up, as it used
to mine. But still | can manage to-
write tolerably grammatical. I don't
know, however, one rule from another,
and what's more, l don't want to.
But the questions were simple, and
easy Of comprehension.
1t was after two now, and [ was get
ting nervous-and mad. Some of the
boys who still had that currency ques-
ton before them had gone to sleep, and
a few retired in disgust.
Besides my brain was getting a lit
tie bewildered, and | couldn't clearly
what [ was about. But
| held up manfully, and went for the
syntax questions Though | haven't the
remotest idea what syntax is
Here's a sample:
eff boy was to kiss two girls and
the girls was to slap the face of the
boy, would it be an case of a assault
and battery, or an battery, without
ASSAULT"
But that will do. If [ should re-
peat the others you would be very like
ly to want to murder your grandmoth-
er, and that wouldn't do at all, you
know.