The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-12
ANECDOTES.

tent to which theory often fails in practice
| IS furnished by venerated professor, a most
distinguished mathematician, whose works
are still used as textbooks in many of our
institutions, and which occurred within the
| compass Of our own experience:
He went to Bethel. On his return he
spent the Sabbath in Lewiston. Monday
morning he was told the horse was sick.
Nevertheless he started. The horse went
| few rods, fell down, and broke both thills.
The professor then sent his wife home, and
also sent to Brunswick for another horse
and carriage to take him and the broken
chaise home. -sre~aHi-u =
When the driver came, they dashed the
| two vehicles together. and started. All
went well till they came to the first long,
steep hill between Lewiston and Brunswick.
On its summit they held consultation.
The professor had an exaggerated idea of
his strength, and said, /" MIR. Chandler, it is
too much for the horse to hold these two
carriages on this steep descent. Take the
horse out; will get into the shafts"
Professor" replied Chandler, "the arm
girth is strong, and so is the breeching."
But the horse, Mr.. Chandler; it is too
much for the horse. Besides being strong
er, know how to take advantage of the
| descent, and can manage it much better
| than the horse
"If the horse can't hold it, you can't"
do you, sir, intend to place me, in point
of intelligence ard knowledge of mechani-
cal forces, below a horse? l have made
mathematics the study of lifetime"
al have no intention to be disrespectful,
sir; but | know that horse understands
his own business, which is handling load
on HILL better than all the professors in
the United States. | was sent up here by
my employer who confdes in me to take
care of his property. If you will take the
business out of my hands. and be horse
yourself, you must be answerable for the con-
sequences"
The professor had habit, when little
excited, of giving nervous twitch at the
lapel of his coat with his right hand. al"
replied he, with a most emphatic twitch,
assume all responsibility
The driver, in reality nothing 10th to wit
ness the operation, took out the horse and
held him by the bride, and the professor,
getting into the shafts, took hold of them
at the ends. The forward carriage was just
descending the hill and the hinder one a
| little over the summit, when the professor
trod upon a rolling stone, which caused him
to plunge forward, and increased the veloci-
ty of his load so much that he was forced to
walk faster than he desired, and exchange
the slanting position, with his shoulders
thrown well back and his feet braced, which
he had at first adopted, for perpendicular
one. At length he was put in run, the
carriages going at fearful rate. At the
bottom of the hill was brook; on each
side, PERCEPTIONS banks. The professor was
between Scylla and Charybdis, going nine
| feet leap. In order to cramp the forward
wheel, he turned suddenly to the right. The
shafts Of the forward carriage went two feet
into the bank, breaking them both short off.
The lashing of the hinder one slipped; it
ran into the forward one, breaking the fend-
er, and both vehicles turned over at the bot
tom of the hill with a tremendous crash,
the learned gentleman describing parabola
one of his favorite fgures-and landing
some rods away. He rose from the earth a
dirtier and wiser man knees skinned,
pants torn, piece of skin knocked off his
forehead, and his best hat fiat as a pancake
underneath the hind carriage and, looking
about him, he exclaimed: 81. B.
L
deceived as to the momentum? 1t was pro-
digious !" O.
Il don't know anything about moment
um," exclaimed Chandler, but do know
something about horses. know it makes
mighty difference about holding back load
on steep hill whether the horse has two
legs or four, and whether he weighs one
hundred and seventy five or one thousand
two hundred pounds"
1t cost the professor S37 so to ascertain
how much horsepower he represented
Spark of Genius.
ANECDoTE OF PROF. WEBBER-The Rev.
Prof W ebber dictates occasionally for one
of the Congregational Churches in Burling
ton. When coming up from Middlebury on
recent Saturday afternoon for that pur-
pose, lively Boston drummer shared
seat with him in the car. The B. D. was
very loquacious, and at once engaged the
professor in conversation, which was kept
up until Burlington was reached, without
revealing the latter's home or vocation.
Drummer was evidently pleased with his
new acquaintance, and asked where he
would stop. The professor indicated the
stop there also. At the hotel he made him
self agreeable to the professor until they re-
tired for the night, and the next morning
asked him where he should attend church.
Professor said he usually attended the Con-
gregational. Drummer said he would ac-
company him. though he generally attended
the Episcopal. The gentlemen went to
church; drummer followed the professor up
the aisle until the pnlpit stairs were reached,
and when he realized the situation remarked
confusedly that he guessed he wouldn't go
any farther, and sank into the nearest seat.
Boston drummers are pretty sharp, but the
best of them will get sold sometimes.
COULDN'T REMEMBER THE NAME.-A few
DAYS ago, group of men were discussing
the propensity of people to address with the
title of !" Uncle certain old gentlemen in a
community, and counting up the different
individuals who had been SO designated in
the vicinity. s1s >.
"And there was Mr.. Jonas Bailey" said
Deacon A., beginning contribution of
names from the town where he had formerly
lived al don't know what his christian
name was don't know as ever knew but
people always called him Uncle, ever since
| l can remember" gsa O. aas gg
Wasn't his name Jonas inquired
listener. ssss 9k eses ace
"Jonas? Well, yes, l believe it was
Jonas. How happened you to known"
why, you said SO yourself just now,
didn't your"
! 81? Not as I know of Well, I declare,
that is curious " returned the good Deacon,
bursting into hearty laugh, in which he
had plenty of company.