The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1873-01-17
Marrying Without Love.
BY ELEANoR KIRK.

made-nO mistake in the whole category
of mistakes so mischievous-so produc-
tive Of misery as the endeavor to force
the young people under our control, to
cut and fit their lives by the pattern we
have found by careful manipulation, by
alterations innumerable, to suit us.
Our children must "work out their own
salvation and if it be done with "fear
and trembling" there is comfort i'm the
knowledge that One who loves US has so
ordained it. The realization of our in
ability to save our dear ones from suf-
fering should not, however, deter us
from the statement and calculation OF
certain great principles, without which
life can be but complication of disas-
ter, resulting, as we have ample evil
dence all about US, in total ruin and
shipwreck. The step fraught with the
most serious cOnsequences-the step OF
steps in this ladder of life is usually the
first one taken. IL will be readily adj
mitted by all who stop for a moment to
think, that there is something glar-
ingly inconsistent about this social
practice. The youth of twenty-one,
two, or three-impulsive, undeyeloped,
knowing absolutely nothing of the
requirements of his own life-tO say
nothing of a double one-ignorant of
the first principles of fself-gOvernmentO or
unselfish cOnsideratiOn-crooks his
brOadclOthed elbow to Miss Araminta
Sophia Fitzgerald, just escaped from
bOarding-schOol. The dainty little
hand, perhaps up to a Sonata or two,
rests like snowflake on the arm of the
proud Augustus; and with the full con-
sent of the families concerned, this
youthful pair walk into the meshes of
matrimony.
sPerhaps these two individuals love
each other" you say. Perhaps they do;
but my experience in such cases would
lead me to a contrary opinion. If there
is a foundation of character sufficiently
large and stable for love to take pos
session of, then Araminta and Augustus
will only grow closer as the years ad-
vance. This is what 1 want to say, and
what 1 would have parents and teachers
constantly impress upon the minds of
the young; that there is not only great
risk and danger in a marriage without
love, but that such are absolutely and
unqualiiiedly wicked. Let me tell you
a little story. Two years ago received
the following letter from very dear
young friend:
"Dcay EIcdnOr:-I am going to be
married one week from to-day. Won't
you please come on to the wedding? /
want you to get acquainted with my in
tended. Please excuse haste, for l am
having such an abOminable time with
my trosseau that ] can hardly find time
10 eat or sleep. Lovingly, BESs.
p. S.-Be sure and Gomez
This was a poser. My little friend
only just turned seventeen, to be mar
riedl What could il mean? Were her
parents mad or dreaming, 1 asked my
self in horror and CONSERVATION, that
they should indorse the suicide of their
only daughter? That this step would
result in moral and spiritual, if not
physical death, / very much feared,
being perfectly acquainted with the
character of the child. Sweet-tem-
pered, morbidly sensitive, whimsically
conscientious, entirely unaequainted
with society, highly imaginative, with
no domestic education, l felt her to be
as utterly unfit for this new life she had
determined upon as the five-year-old
girl at my side. So l replied to her let
ter, cautiously going over the ground.
This was her answer:
"Dedr EIedROr:-What an old goose
you are, to be sure! Upon my word l
had terrible nightmare after reading
your letter. What question TO ask !
~ > ~ -DNN AAiN AAlal4 y Ou are EOluR
marry " Why, l suppose / do; Of course
l do; why shouldn't ]? Everybody
loves him. / shall probably be better
able TO tell you about this after we are
married. l don't suppose / am old
enough TO know much of love vet, but
oh pshaw! swhat nonsense. l won't
write you another word! Why do you
crOak so? Ever your own, BEss.
This letter was to me a hundred fimes
worse than the first. She didn't love
her intended hUsband-hadn't even
been magnetized into 6elieCinq that She
loved him. The wedding was duly re-
ported. II was an affair in high life.
and jenkins was there, of course. l did
not 90. Six months passed. During all
this time / had not seen Bess. One day
she called on me. A dainty little figure
charmingly arrayed, a sweet young
face so becomingly set in its frame OF
curls and lace and bright ribbons. that
for some time l failed to notice that the
child's eyes were sad and restless, that
there was an unmistakabIe droop to the
corners Of the lovely mouth; but when !
did, said, Are you not well, Bessie ?'
80, yes" she replied, "but worried to
death. Selwyn (Alr. Selwyn was her
husband) is busy all the time with his
writing. You see he wishes to have a
new book published this fall, and /
don't know half the time what to do
with myself He is urging me to go to
the mountains, this summer, but il
looks horrible-don't you think so-for
a wife to go away and enjoy herself, and
leave her husband home at work. But
then" she replied, with a sigh, sit
won't make much difference, l hardly
ever see him any way"
IA wife 20 away and leave her hus-
bandn' l inwar1ly repeated. What
business has that child with husband?
HOW my heart pleaded for her; but /
Jared not say a word, and she went
away without giving me her confidence.
AtAholher year rolled by, during which
sIL Slllle We met more frequently. Mr.. Sell
Wyn, a tall, dark, self-contained man.
fo-lSN1iere mere among the thirties, | was
i'sy iiosinlally introduced to by Bess. found
nIIiI;t 'lili 70 De literary gentleman of great
i.99ttii.'S1 VINO evidently eonsidarad lie
Ii1elc WE mental calibra inSf ota,,t
e4uNl 10 tnat Of poor Dora. TIo-a ,,,.,D
40 cougehlalty Of taste here ~ - ""s
eS IieSs l,s Vi sentiment; on one side inteiIoot-
81 OuILuIei experience of the ,ro1id :.
IL otis77aS .i lol Nleu Character; and on
o--,,o-atlJ - s IusV what might have been
expected from her age-con1nlete, -, oi's1i Isei
1shness. Not long ago l recei,,od IN .'l-
following. 1t tells its own story. '"e
"A[y Dear ETcdnOr:-I want =. an,
before anybody else has a chance ti,ot ou
Mr.. Selwyn and have parted foro,,ns LAT
/ find now, too late, that your onestio,,
in regard to love was in order H.
never could have loved me, and I am
certain I only admired him. 1t is of no
use to enter into details. He was proud
unjust, and self-centered. / was unrea-