, 1873-11-02

cIudca That tho ot,or mltat lo Tho right arm, 49,
course # h aa tsrengT p9oeo9s TO
fsal fn'' a5oyo' 5' observation-disclosures to Ids ioar
nolghbor. But TINT umbrella was born to mis-.
olhof oil oycr except whom There is plenty q
rear llaa only proved that ut loaet one mans noBo
10 compotout to coyor MI umbrella with lcatllor
case. Trying tho opposite angle the ttigconHo-
so s h ,st H s aat on tha
Int Of some unsophlsticntcd, fonr~year. old
who novor experienced u1nhrollas boforoo;
| or ,he auddony bolloves e. y loet, only oniy
to dfaoovor 1t dancing III tho deep oVorcoat"
A leading triumph Of tho umbrella is witnosH'
cd on thoHo proverbially-wet nights when tho
best oot,,re Of tho eeaaon Is TO bo olivorod, and
the crowd has its noso turned up tho hall.gtaira
would bo fortune among the Doxee artl parcels
| OF 1oanly-stockod storo. It has tho down-for.,
ward point, md plungos into, tho calf and
hsnssnsa h ,x on thas to nSxs SHor, stop {earsspp p
| down-baokward Shoot, and tho dress cont or
cloak on tho next stop down "alks IN With
aszeast-houquot Of mud-ioworB, Or It's wcarer
| It takes t;so battering-ram ewtng at tue ond OF
e::s :::ssm-liko arn and heads behind aud
hoels before find themselves united BY COM
man nuisance It becomes 90 OLD ,a1 mans hep TO
tat" ~ oa,, ~, snnt ~ IN rfrbt-l,an mana
ieft i boSt i tkat hasn't alrosdy been mort:
gagod to tho mud Of tho crossings and
| the heel Of the crowd. In that moyemont
luaion to that climate whore the rain is too warm
! Tor greon-cotton umbrellae. Tho other wos
| umbrella gets up-ataira with crowd Ia q Way
that suggests distance lending encenment 9,aa ton
! Wow Of tho owner Tor borroWor); b'lt Mrs.
| Smith wonders how those black streaks came In
| tho posterior lobe of her light stlk.
The man who carries hts street.umbrclla,
when IN dry,dook. nko d. double hend baca 1.
ita centre Of gravity and daugorouB fore and aft,
| has frequently received Invitations by another
man'a hind to choose Ills weapon, time, and
| place for tho settlement Of IN affair Of honor
| copies Of punch" on tho most improaeionablo
parts of strangers; but ho always nanlos tho
| main street for tho place. ut the time when ita
| likely to rain moro, and for bis weapon the
olanoes Of doatl4 against him, he fails to fight.
That umbreln-stock Of tic horizontal swing, that
is ever on tho acont for young ohildrons eyes
! boAind it, is not to be courted for combat.
having passod bis carly lifo in tho backwootls,
! ho iB comparatively har1nless. Comparatively,
| as ho only now and thon halts long enough for
about worn out anyway, and can't dis
| tinguish pondont oye-iash from ship
oablo without arranging bis sunset
| eyes In showcases, to rush forward
and pick the beam out Of his eye with IN ln,-
brella-top so thorough1y that he never after gota
beam OF light into it, :.
der. with his umbrella for q nuskot, and PROM
| enades under constant orders to present
ar1ns," the outside world is safo, though ho, Of
| course when tho ranks OF tho crowd close In
| upon him. makos his umbrolla~stock aave his
| pockot-haudkorchief.
| But, in ali his assaults upon his fellows and
himself, tho umbrella-carrior is the most
| innocent Of ovi1-lpers. He ia as innocent Of
malico as ''our Cmsar " is Of tho ability to DO
Julius Cnsar. II ho punches an abdomen hay
| ing tho rom'auts Of . man hidden behind it,
be regrets, apoogiaea for, and forgets It In time
| to got ready fpr the next stomach that walks
pace or two aAead Of lta owner, or. for ono Of
those who havfag eyes SEQ not-tln one eye is
| out.
Hoping to live long enough to, attend tho
| funeral Of tlis character, and plant Ills grave
with thstlcs and burdockB, is useless; for. il
| any man ever achieves immortality upon earth,
it will be 81 tho man with the umbrella"
| HnBATEH