Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-06-13
Fl UMOR


A serious charge has been brought
against school teacher in linois the sreci
fcations of which are l. Immoirslt =
2. Parshalisy ! 3. Keeping !, :. l.
schoal f. Crying uplrhe W pit =
The committee uian who @roto the charge
thinks of running he schoo himself next
quarter.
HAPPY TnouGET OH" 'rsis'atr
wants bill passed m#king it o. NJ. to
name another chlli John Smith N w if
he could get snother bill pass iaing every
body who is named John Smith. its nation
al debt might be paid off at onc-
Lady customer with her grocer b0ok y
You know, Mr. Sweepins, he Charc os
of the Exchequer takes 6 bal tae sugar
duty" "Yes'm, b. DOS and you will see
that We have net yet charged YOU anything
extra in consequence.
In the late editorial convention N North
Carolina. Captain William Biggs gave i'll
his experience as tollog: He has been sew
eral years conducting newspaper. most OF
which had been spent 10 raising the meats
Of doing it.
A Brook Ign sea captain, just returned
from tour of the Holy Land, exprv ssed
himself disguised with Jerusalars. IT is
the meanest place I ever visited There is
is not a drop of liquor in the whole town fit
to drink
A man in Schuylkill Haven who wanted
10 be a minister. said be believed he had
been called to Labor 10 the Lords vine
yard" His brother, who was less noted
for bis piety, said that he had mistaken the
word 'bsrn.yard' for vineyard"
An old lady visited travelling circus
She was delighted liz every respect but one
Speaking Of the proprietor she said, He
has everything in his show that is on his
ILLS but the hippodrome. | wonder where
he keeps his hippodrome. Is it dead p
A Danbury man W ho has been visiting 10
place where the cemetery was provided
with many private vaults, is very much
pleased with the idea, as it enables man to
visit bis own grave and weep.
A New Hampshire man scouts the idea
of taking newspaper at two whole dollars
year, and posts notice On the school.
house that SO hoggs hev strade or biz
soolen" from him.
A reporter for Wisconsin paper writes:
Those who personally know our esteemed
fellow. citizen, Col. -, will regret to hear
that he was brutality assaulted last evening,
but not killed."
Fortune plays strange freaks. A Toledo
editor went through the war without a
scratch. but stuck the shears 10 his eve the
other day. Wickedncss brings its own ret
ribution.
A sentimental young man thus feelingly
expressed himself Even Nature benevo.
lently guards the rose with thorns does she
endow women with pine ?"
A Western editors ststemept, "We are
living at this moment under absolute despo.
tism," is explained by. his contemporaries
by the fact that be has lately married.
Ohio has law by which any husband
who opens bis wife's letter can be made to
pay right smart for it. 1t isn't good State
for jealous man to live in.
A new English edition of the PRAYER
Book changes, by typographical error, the
verse iu Psalms, Thou has broken nv
bonds into "thou has braken my bopes.'
Advices state that high wind blew down
large sign board ia Rhode Island, serious.
~ injuring several farms which lay un-
der il.
Cooling is well eoough before sa, ri.ee.
hrrtt ha
after and then it comes from the grocer
Life is but stage You may have heard
this before, but the fact that Vermont bas
three female stage-drivers may be rev.
Next boy! What is the capital of Louisi.
ana Boy-"lt hasn't got none the
Kellogg fel!ers have stolen it ALL"
A Poughketpsie clerk loves tho very
ground Highland widow walks upon.E
1t is worth $500 per acre.
Why is an oh pocket handkerchief like
an old ship Because it has experienced
many bard blow.
''He fell down dead and expired in tvo
minutes" says Georgia paper of the death
of negro.
An old lady says she is tired Of hearing
about them cerberc-spinal men in gaiters.''
If it wasn't for the law, man COLD
make fortune in half the time.
Why is whisper forbidden 10 polite So
ciety Because it isn't aloud.
ga bumper at parting" as the drunken
man said when he ran up against the