The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-07-04
scIssoRrNes.

u
mark in the world-one who cannot
write his own name.
A wife in Sigourney. Iowa, who
was sold for an old gun aud small
sum in cash, is seeking for a divorce.
Rather suggestive Water running |
out of the milk car ON railroad-to
keep the tactical fluid cool. of course.
A rumor that Mr.. Boucicaultis about
to produce an original play induces
an Englis writer to ask, Whose is
it?''
Chicopee. Mass. has a fountain
Extinguisher Company. Why fount-
aims should be exunguished it would
be hard to say.
The young widow who was buried
in grief is now alive and doing we'll.
It is only another instance of prema-
ture interment.
A Charleston father gave young
man who had saved his daughter
from drowning, two-year old steer
and a shotgun.
''Do you know, sir, that am
worth hundred thousand pounds?'
"Yes, I do; and I know that it is all
you are worthi"
A lady wrote to her lover, who
had become insane. that "he had
gone ont of his mind. but had never
gone out of hers"
To take down the gridiron from
the nail where it is hanging with the
loft ho1.1 q, :, s,.r, that tharo will I,a
o broil in the kitchen.
Albany is good place to start a
temperance paper. but after one Is
started it don't take long for it to
Bro0kyn Eagle
After long study of the subject.
the Philadelphia Star has concluded
that March is bad month for
hauling ashes in uncovered carts.
The, Quincy, ILL.,. Herald says:
'..The IFeekiy 4Konta"iaH wants an ed
itor. The last one was killed by
shooting him full of shinsle nails
There were nineiy-seven wrathful
women in New Orleans the other
day. ninety-eisht mothers having
taken their dariings to q baby-show.
Josh Billings says; II have often
been told that the best wa, Is TO take
q bull by the horns: but think, in
many Instances, I should prefer the
tail hold.'
Notices have been. placed on the
outside of the street cars In Pitts
burg to the effect that The car will
not wait for Young ladies to kiss
''good-by."
A Pittsburgh witness could not
give his own age, but was confident
he was Younger than his mother.
though she died early and he was
not certain.
A Denver paper calls the atmos-
phere of Connecticut staid, sterec-
typed and >blooslless; all three adjec-
tives are particularly applicable to an
atmosphere.
Stokes among other things, is
something of wag. Somebody
asked him, the other day. what be
thought of the Tombs, and he said it
was horrible cell
It has at last been decided that
ssthe unknown currents were to
blame for the Atlantic disaster. No
excuse; the current news can be OBJ
tanned from the iapers.
The Morgan Envelop Company, at
Springfield, Mass. is running its
works night and day upon the postal
cards, turning out ~ 900 of them
every twenty four hours.
When Faistaff sent his page to
Master Dumbleton for satin cloak.
and offered. his Lond ard Bardulph's
for payment. the answer was that be
s.liked not the security"
Pure love is monarch of all
difficulties. Beautiful and light-foot-
ed, like the leopard it leaps the
chasms of separation, and erouches
delighted at the feet of its own?'
just SO.
A New York parer proposes to
send Mr. Stanley to discover the
north pole, cut his name on if. aud
the date of discovery, and bring it
lack with the banner of the Stars
and Stripes floating from it.
There are some Il 1ngs WHICH WI
never be hurt by falnug, sIo..ed
an old man il the market The other
morning s.What's the m?" inquire d
q marketman. Prices" said the
old nan: they're SO awful slow n
falling that they'll never get smash
ed.''
A wealthy but miserly old MIR,
dining in the city one day with 8
SON at restaurant, whispered in his
ear: tom, yon must eat for to- da,
and to- morrow ..Oli. yes," retort-
ed the balf-starred lad. ..but la'i
eaten yesterday aud the day before
yet. father"
The little son of prominent Balii-
more minister said to his father. Pa,
ST. Paul was a Southerner.'" How
do you know that, my son? why,
Sir, in the eighteenth verse of the
eighth chapter of Romans he says,
For reckon. None but Southern
ers say reckon"
Billings gives us two items or
ssgaim:'' The partridge, grouse and
pheasant are cousins, and either one
ov them straddle gridiron natura
enuff few have been born there.
The goslin waddles when he walks
and paddles when he swims. bu1