The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-07-24


people who not only believe that this
world revolves on its axis, but they
believe they are the axis
The most annoying things in the
world. (ZEB CRUMMET) says. are little
dogs and little men. A dapper little
fellow, who had to stand on a shingle
to Jump over corn-cob, will make more
fuss at lecture or concert than half a
dozen men.
Beer is one dollar a glass in Monte
Vldeo, Uruguay, and sheep are ten cents
piece. A thirsty man with only seventy
five cents about his clothes would be
miserable in this city; however, he conld
buy cow for fifty cents, if milk would
serve his purpose.
At wedding recently, when the
clergyman asked tie lady. "Wilt thou
have this man to be thy welded hus-
band?" she, with modesty which lent
her beauty an additional grace, replied IF
you please
Beer may not be intoxicating, but it
makes great many people lose their
five centses.
Follow after justice and duty; such a life
is the path to Heaven, and into the
assembly of those who once lived, and
now, released from the body, dwell in
that place.
There is no death, what seems SO is
transition.
The following remarkable advertise
ment no doubt refers to some printers
apprentice. The reward offered is very
fair commentary on the present miserable
system or want of system of printer
apprenticeship: Runway Apprentice
Josiah Brown, an indentured apprentice
to James Marshall. ran away short time
ago. All persons are hereby forwarned
not to harbor him. Ten cents reward
will be given for his return to Mary A
G. Marshall, Administrative OF Jas Mar
shall deceased"
Pretty girls have mouths which turn
up at the outer corners, thus =. Pout-
ing, moping, naughty girls have mouths
drawn down at the outer corner. thus,
Those having mouths cut straight, about
thus, are what do you think
Dare to be true-dare to be free-fear
no man.
young man who prided himself on
his mental qualifications, once speaking
of the advantages of these, remarked :
"What is better than good educa-
ton p Common sense, you fool, you, "
quickly remarked one of his hearers.
Olive Logan tells of nice young man
who waltzed superbly. All the girls went
for him. Nobody else could catch their
pace as well as he. When asked how he
managed it so handsomely, he replied he
never %hough about it, he never tried
hard, all he did was to hold his partner
in his arms and let her kick.
In debating society at Hingman, the
question for discussion was (Which
is the happiest state, the married or
single ?" and the record stands s.Voted
that it was"
What no dairyman can adulterate-the
milk of human kindness.
A schoolboy's composition on tobacco
''This noxious weed was invented by a
dlstinguishedmann named WalkerRaleig
VIII n the people first saw him smoking
they thought he was steamboat /; and
| as they had never heard of such thing
as steamboat, they were terribly fright
ened."
A genuine Highlander, looking at Q
print from picture by one of the old
masters, in which angels were represent
ed blowing trumpts, inquired if the
angels played on trumpts, and being
answered in thehfirmative, made the re-
mark ''Hech, sirs I wonder they dinnf
tax pair of guide stout bagpipe ?''
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