The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-05-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

A TRADEsMAN who had failed in the
city Of Bangor wrote on his front door =.
Payment suspended for thirty DAYS" A
neighbor reading this said = You have
not dated the notice" No" he said,
do not intend to do 50 It would run out
if did.
WHAT was Eve made for Answer
Adams express company.
A BLACKSMITH brought up his SOL, %
whom he was very severe, to his ira ls.
| One day the old man was trying 20 har len
= cold chisel, which he had made ~ furelg1
steel, but he could not succeed. Horse
whip it, father, exclaimed the boy " Il
that won't harden il, ] don't knos what
will.
IRATE PAREST.-O, yer don't want 70
90 INTO business, don't yer D, yer want
to be a clerk in the Post hortice, do yer
! Post -hortce, indeed Why, all you're it
for is to stand outside with your tongue
hout, for people to wet their stamps %
A PARTY If men, animatedly engaged in
discussing politics before an uptown store
the other morning, attracted the attention
Of lean, lantern jawed countryman
Theirs somethin' the matter here, " hs
observed to his wife and. drawing up his
team, he lightly shouted to cOnsunptive
individual on the outskirts What's
afoot III +" Twelve inches, was the sar-
donic reply. The cOuutryman drove ON.
A BEGGAR posted himself at the door ~
the Chancery court, and kept saying. A
penny, please, sir Ouly one penny. sir,
before you 20 in IN ''Aud why, my man \"
aw,.tra,.al ..lI
cause, sir the chances are you will not
have one when you ct out.
one Of our young acquaintances, not
long since, was endeayoring to enjoy an
evening III the company of young lady.
fair and entertaining, upon whom he called,
but found a serious obstacle in the person
Of her stern and not very cordial father,
who at length ventured to intimate that the
hour for retiring had arrived :" think
you are correct, my dear sir, returned
the unabashed young man. We have
been waiting to have you 20 TO bed for
over an hour.
An illiterate farmer, wishing to enter
some animals at an agricultural exhibition,
wrote to the Secretary as follows Also
enter me for the best jackass ! am sure
Of taking the premium"
On Parson s., of Connecticut, was
particular kind Of person. One day he had
: 2!a.. pIowng in his field, and he went out
to see how the work was going on The
ground was very stony, an every time the
plow struck stone the man took occasion
to swear little
Look here, cried Parson s., you
mustnt swear that way in my field
.I "A a
the man, IF you had e plow such stoney
he'd as this.
Mont a bit Of it. " said Mr. ;. Just lot
me show YOU.
So the parson took hold Of the pillow, but
he very soon had great trouble with the
| stones. As stone after stone caught the
plowshare, Mr.. =. calculated
well, | never saw the like"
And this he repeated every time stone
stopped his onward way When NJ had
plowed around once, he stopped and said
TO the man.
There, nov You see can plow with
out swearing
But | guess it pretty near as bad 70
| lie, said the man, and you told dozens o.
lies. Every time the plow struck stone,
You said | never saw the like, when
the same thing had happened the minute
before
A story Is told OF a negro in Virginia
whose master threatened 70 give him a fog
ging If he boiled his eggs hard again. NEXT
morning the eggs came tO the table still
harder than before
You rascal, shouted the enraged
planter, 7" didn't tell you 70 cook those
eggs softr'
Yes, massa said the frightened slave
Fan got up at two q clock dis mnrnin an
/ | billed them five hours an 1t seem 81 me
never kin get desc eggs softer IN