The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-09-20
ANECDOTES,

The following is well vouched for: About
the time of Hallow-eve, the mischievous
boys in the city of Brooklyn ring violently
at door-bells and then run away. A certain
old lady about here was grievously annoved
by the betligerent attacks, and determined
to watch for the offender. She stationed
herself just inside the door. and soon the
bell rung out sonorously The lady hastily
opened the door, caught the offender by the
collar, boxed his ears right and left most
soundly. He was diminutive fellow and
it being dark she could not recognize him.
AT every whack he protested: MADAME,
why, madame"
"Don't madame me, you young rascal 20
she exclaimed, and another blow made his
ears smart painfully.
He begged, implored.
Don't beg for mercy, you graceless
scampl" was the only reply, accompanied
by another laundering bump upon his au-
ditory apparatus.
Finally becoming exhausted by her CON-
bative demonstrations, she dragged the little
man into the hail. that she might recognize
the offender by the gas light, and "tell his
mother" as she said, when whom should she
discover in the person of her victim but
her minister, who had called to pay friendly
visit.
RUsrICUs IN URBE-A dusty, Drowned
stranger stalked into one of the principal
hotels early on last evening, laid big black
valise, which had perhaps made quite a
smart appearance in its youth, carefully be-
side him, and with hand unaccustomed
to public writing, scrawled with great exer-
tion, the name of Lorenzo Smith upon the
register.
"Will you have some supper, Mr.. Smith,"
asked the clerk.
+" Wall, no, l guess not" returned the
rustic gentleman. "The folks at home
put up good bit of grub, and thar's enough
left in this yer carpet-bag for supper l
reckon"
The clerk smiled and the countryman and
his corpulent carpet-bag were shown to their
room. Country was somewhat dazed at its
magnificence, but he was hungry, and plac-
ing the satchel on the center table he drew
forth large chunk of boiled ham, numerous
pieces of cold chicken, several enormous
doughnuts, and half q dozen hard boiled
eggs. He was about to absorb the meagre
repast into his starving system, when his
eye caught sight of the "rules for guests
tackled upon the door. He got up and read
them aloud. He came to the last one, and
read, ''meals in the room extra" He read
it again, this time slowly. wall, I'll be
DANCED" he ejaculated and turning to the
table, in an instant he had removed the ham,
doughnuts, eggs, and all into the omniver-
GUS carpet sack, and in another instant he
was down in the office, where he accosted
the clerk with, | see, stranger, yer sign up
thar in my room says meals in rooms charg-
ed extra"
Yes" responded the clerk, who recog-
nized the customer of few minutes ago,
and could scarcely repress his risbles. ISL
extra" "Wall Ill be consarned," yawped
the verdant, 81 guess the expenses of hot
meal won't be much more," and, beckoning
to bell-boy, he called out, "hy'ar boy, show
me the way to yer Kitchen" and moment
later he was in the hands of the walters.
Chicago Times.
A SMART AGENT.-"Sir," said tall, thin
man, clad in worn, very shining garb,
suddenly appearing in the room, L have
ventured to call to lay before you one of
the most astonishing inventions of modern
times" They all begin in some such i'm
pressive manner as that. "a gas-burner,
sir" 1 was busy arranging some papers in
a corner, and having both hands full, with a
pen held crossways in my mouth, 1 was for
the moment at his mercy. Perhaps, sir,
you are aware that in the case of every
kind Of burner but this Inow show you, gas
gives off most noxious effluvinm, having
peculiarly ruinous effect upon the eve
sight" BY this time l had emptied my
hands and mouth, and was advancing upon
him. Fixing his eyes upon mine, he started
back in distressful horror. Heaven help
US sir, he exclaimed show you have suffered
already Your sight, sir, would not last six
months longer. This must not be-"
Before could say word or lift finger
to stop HIM, he rapidly glided past me to
the table on which the lamp stood. With a
nimbleness which rooted me to the spot in
apprehension, he whipped off the shade,
then the old burner. In a moment the lamp
was ruin. at is a mercy of Providence,
sir, that happened to call"
"Stop!" l called. Replace everything
as it was, instantly"
1.-The number of cases of premature blind
ness" he calmly proceeded, that / have
had the qualification of preventing makes
my labor most pleasant one"
Thinking he might be deaf, I bawled, 81
don't want your burner; l won't have it /;
take it off" For he was lightly twirling the
new one in its place.
"1here, sir, you will feel thankful to me
as long as you live! The only thing that
troubles me in the matter is, | know am
running the spectacle makers"
do you hear?" l asked. 81 shall not pay
you for it."
He struck very effective attitude. "Pay-
ment! of what consequence is that? |
could not remove that inestimable burner
for any amount of money, when the alter
native is the ruin of your valuable eyesight.
For, sir, your eyes are worth many burners.
l make you present of it willingly 1 am
poor man, under heavy travelling expen-
ses, and | have family in want He
sighed. "But duty shall be done. The price
is threepence half-penny, or three shillings a
dozen. know you will regret this moment
ary harshness in the long years to come,
when you are enjoying the benefits of that
burner. But that is not my affair, though
am sorry to think of it. Good morning,
sir. If at any time, no matter how long
an interval, by some inconceivable accident
anything should become ont of order in it
you will find the name Of the manufacturers
stamped on the side. Be good enough to
drop line to their well known house at
Glasgow and man will instantly be sent