davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
A Good JOKE.

A good joke is told of little four
year-old fellow who, having disobeyed
his father, was about to incur the PEN
atty of switching. The father deliber-
ately prepared rod, while his son stood
a sad and silent spectator. As the parent
approached to the unpleasant duty, the
boy started at brisk run towards o
neighboring hill The father pursued,
and for time the youngster increased
the distance between them, but gradually
his strength began to fall, and when he
reached the hill and began to ascend he
soon lost his vantage. Nearer and near
er the irate father approached, and as he
came within arms length of the little
fugitive, who was ready to fall from ex-
haustion, the boy quickly faced about,
dropped upon the ground, and with an
indescribable cast of countenance, ex-
claimed:
"Papa, that-makes a fellow-blow-
don't it ?"
This " changing the subject" was 80
extremely ludicrous that the father
laughed heartily over the strategy which
his hopeful son exhibited, and the rod
was not used.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
A long silence was followed by deeply
drawn sigh.

ufdWn sign.
Yes, yes; I see it all the mystery
is solved. There is no dark providence
here. All, how many Like her are daily
cut down in the very flower of life; cut
down ere half their work is done I"
cit is melancholy fact, !" we replied,
" that the whole average of life in this
country is diminished by suicidal dis
regard of the plainest laws of health !;
and this sad detective ought to say
criminals chargeable more upon your
sex than our own. 1t gives one the
heart-ache to think of the daily deaths
of young mothers-the sharp sundering
of the tenderest ties that can bind heart
to heart. People clasp their hands,
look grave and mysterious, and say,
What an affective providencep But
there is no providence in the matter
only provision of the divine mercy to
lessen, as far as may be, the evils that
must flow from the disruption, by death,
of the most intimate relations in life.
Here is solution of the whole mystery
that has 80 perplexed you, and hundreds
of others"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
GREAT WALKERS OF ANCIENT
TIMES

Extraordinary men in every age have
attracted the attention of the curious,
and at one time the world seemed to
have transferred all their political and
party curiosity to the swiftness OF un-
common walkers. The following shows
that it is possible for men to go long
journeys on foot:
Philippines being sentby the Athenians
to Sparta, to implore the assistance Of
the Spartans in the Persian war, in the
space of two days ran one thousand two
hundred and sixty furlongs; that is,
one hundred and seventy Roman miles.
Euchides was sent by the same Athe-
mans to Delphos, to desire some of the
holy fire from there he went and re-
turned in one and the samo day, having
measured one thousand furlongs; that
is, one hundred and twenty-five Roman
miles.
When Fonteius and Vipsanus were
consuls, there was a boy of but nine
years Of age (Martial calls him Addas)
who within the compass of one day ran
seventy-five miles.
King Henry V. of England was 80
swift in running that he, with two OF
his lords, without bow or other engine,
would take wild buck or deer in large
park.
The Piechi were sort of fOotmen
who attendedupon the Turkish Emperor,
and, when there was occasion, were dis
patched with orders and expresses.
They ran with such admirable swIftness
that with little pole-axe, and a wal OF
sweet waters in their hands, they ran
from Constantinople to Adrianople in a
day and night, which is about one
hundred and sixty Roman miles.
On Feb. l, 1859, at six in the evening,
George Guest of Birmingham, who had
laid considerable wager that he walk
ed thousand miles in twenty-eight
days, finished his journey with great
ease. 1t seemed as if he had lain by
for bets for in the two last days he had
one hundred and six miles to walk, but
walked them with so little fatigue to
himself that, to show his agility, he
walked the last six miles within the hour,
though he had six hours good to do it in.
In July, 1765. young woman walked
from Blencogo to within two or three
miles of Newcastle, being seventy-two
miles in one day.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

The CoNsrrrUroN.-That grand old
relic of the past, the fngate Constitu-
ton, is now moored near Philadelphia,
and the Army and Navy journal sug-
gests, with patriotic propriety why
not have her rigged and equipped, Of
ficered and manned, ready for action,
and a national salute fred from her in
honor of the centennial anniversary .
Let her wooden walls be decorated with
the names and portraits of Nicholson,
Barry, Hull, Preble, Chauncey, Decatur,
Rodgers, Porter, Bainbridge, Stewart,
Shubrick, Jones, Marlborough, Morris,
Lawrance-those naval heroes who have
honored her decks.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
THE New York Sun tells an amusing

THE New York Sun tells an amusing
anecdote of the Hon. Charles DeLong,
our Minister to Japan, who has lately
been recalled. In 1850 DeLong was a
waiter in restaurant in Marysville, Cal.
He was always ambitious to become q
politician, and claimed to be Demo-
crat of the Jacksonian school. It is
stated that the guests of the hotel were
not unfrequently amused by little
Charlie's-he is about five feet high, and
does not weigh more than 100 pounds
dissertations on the politics of the day.
He was often known to lay down his
tray while waiting on customer, and
begin heated political argument. In
1851, when Bigler and Waldo were the
rival candidates for Governor, party
spirit ran high, and DeLong was vio-
lent partisan of the former. One day,
during the campaign, an open air Bigler
meeting was held in Maysville. De
Long was anxious to make a speech,
and he circulated among the audience
and told number Of them to "halloa
for DeLong." Finally, after Senator
Gwin had closed an eloquent speech, a
a shout went up for "DeLong!" "De
Longl" "DeLong p The ambitious
young man, who was waiting in the rear
of the platform, mounted the rostrum
and was introduced to the audience by
the chairman Of the meeting. A breath
less silence prevailed in expectancy Of
belongs speech. Just as he was about
to begin huge specimen of the genus
Pike broke tongue, and said, at the top
of his voice, "Wall, III be gol durned
ii that aint the little eritter who w}s
here minute ago, and told me to holler
for DeLeng." The intending orator
was completely unnerved. He stam-
mered and hung his head. He could
not say a word, and amid the ieers OF
the audience skunk off the stand.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
VARIETIES.

FARlETIEb.
MAN advertises, then realizes.
CONFLICTING Medical evidence.
SuRE-The lawyers bill for fees.
UNcKKrAN-The verdict of jury.
MAN respires, aspires, conspires, and
expires.
SEE in another column the advertise
ment, headed, I VIII Help Any Mar"
No CHAIN is stronger than its weak
est link. No word is stronger than .
wink.
Put no dependence on the label
of a bag, and count money after your
own kind.
A DRUNKEN Toledo man wrote on the
wall of his cell "Jug not, that ye be
not jugged."
DoN'r go to law unless you have
nothing to lose; lawyers houses are
built ON fools heads.
SEE the sack open before You buy
what is in it, for he who trades IN the
dark asks to be cheated.
A LEAyENwoRTH editor sat down in q
reserved seat already occupied by hor-
net. He stands up now.
A MEDICAL writer says the healthiest
position to lay in is with the head to the
north. People who own hens should
bear this fact in mind--Dan6ury
NeUs.
JUDGE BERKErY says it has been ad-
Judged when a person said Of a lawyer
that he had as much law as q monkey,
that the words were not actionable, be-
cause he had as much law, and more
also but if he had said he hath no more
law than monkey, these words would
have been actionable.
AT recent examination Of candi-
dates for the civil service, one of the
questions propounded was, "What
clerical experience have you had, if
any% To this one aspirant had ap-
pended his written answer, "Luther-
an" Another wrote: "Methodist-
n little"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
SICK HEADACHE.

Almost every one has different rem
edy for this most common but none the
less distressing complaint. And the
truth is, that very few of them have any
effect at all, while some OF them only
aggrsyate the case. The best and safest
way for the sufferer is to let himself
alone till the gastric or nervous depres-
sions which have produced it have SUBJ
sided, when sleep generally comes to the
aid of exhausted nature and perfects the
cure. The British Medical Journal, in
treating of this subject, says the only
remedies which are of any avail are
those which act on the nervous system,
such as hot tea or coffee, or, after the
most violent symptoms have passed of,
little wine or ammonia. The bromide
of potassium is also highly recommend
ed after the nausea subsidies. While
this exists, it is of no avail. The writer
also thinks that tea and coffee used in
excess constantly, although they may
relieve headache, may also predispose
to the difficulty; and he cites instances
of several patients, who, by giving up
the use of these beverages, became
cured of chronic or frequent head
aches. s--.-'1 - - as
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
COST OF THE LONDON POOR.

The English papers contain the re
turns of the cost of the poor Of London
during 1872. The total expenditure for
the relief of metropolitan pauperism
amounted last year to the sum OF s.
7s4, Gas, being only q, 600, 900 less than
the sum expended for the support of all
the paupers in the United States, &C
cording to the returns collected BY Gen.
Walker. The number of paupers in
London is about 100, 900, 30 that their
cost per head is equal to $6760. Gen.
Walker found that IN 1870 the total
number Of people dependent on public
charity in the United States was 116. 102,
showing an average cost per head Of
$94 Taking into account the enormous
saving effected by centralized admin
istration, as compared with one spread
over innumerable counties of this Union,
the administration of our psuper relief
fund can fairly enough challenge su-
periority over that of London.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
p1R0DY FOR THE PERI OD.

a
m. r,te Of Gold was rising fast,
4. through q Wall street panic passed
!, youth, who keps as cool as Ice,
n.voted to the one device
More Greenbacksl
p;s brow was old his knowing eye
a,e.med with speculation high;
And. of ali mission said or sung,
This. only, knew his sordid tongue
More Greenbacksi-
I'm home, that once was his delight,
Ne ssw but what seemed mean to sight;
pryuud, the dream Of Torture shone;
His soul he'd risk, to cali his own,
More Greenbacksl
aBevare the end ~ his elders said;
awoe haunts the pathway you would tread;
Dark perils lurk on every side!"
And. curt to all, his voice replied,
More Greenbacks!
soh stsy,r the maiden said, "and be
Rich in the love I'd give to thee!n
Short was his answer, with the taunt,
You're very iattering-but want
More Greenbacksi
aBeware the certain final crash.
Beware the banks and brokers smash "
This was the wise mans caution win
From = corner" came the grim refrain,
More Grsenbacks!
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

These States have a population of
nearly 100000, and an aggregate
wealth of over $40, 600, 600, 900, and 129
of the 292 members of the Lower House
of Congress.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
INsENSIBILITY Of THE BRAIN.

l0bEHolblLllx OF lHE DRAIN
Although the organ of sensation, the
brain itself is insensible. To cut the
brain gives no pain yet in the brain re-
sides the power of feeling pain in any
part of the body. If the nerve which
leads to it from the injured part be
divided, we become instantly uncon-
scious of suffering. 1t is only by COM
munication with the brain that any kind
of sensation is produced; yet the organ
is itself insensible. But there is cir
cumstance more wonderful still. A GER
tain portion of the brain itself may be
removed without destroying life. The
animal lives and performs all those
functions which are necessary to vital
ity, but itFhas no. longer q mind. It
cannot think or fesL 1t requires that
the food should be pushed into its
stomach once there, it is digested, and
the animal will thrive and grow fat.
We infer, therefore, that q part OF the
brain is simply intended for the exercise
of, ths,iptellectusl faculties. whether Of
the lower degree, called instinct. or Of
that exalted kind bestowed on man called
..-.,,,
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

WESTERN WEALTH AND POWER.
The fifteen States washedby the Ohio,
Mississippi, and Missouri rivers give the
following aggregate of wealth and power
in Congress by the census of 1870:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

ApJusrxENT-Bootmaker (who has q
good deal of trodble with his custom
er)-"I think, sir, if you were to cut
your corns I could easily find you a
pair" Choleric old gentleman" Cut
INV corns, sirl I ask you to fit q pair
of boots to my feet, sir ! I'm not going
to plane down my feet to fit your
boots !"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

The agricultural interests Of Louis
siana have suffered much more than is
generally known from the war and the
disturbances that have followed it. In
1860 there were about 2, 700, 600 acres Of
land under cultivation in the 6tate. and
there is now but little more than l, ,5O0,-
600 acres-a falling of Of over smillion
acres. Nor does this show The real do
crease, for even ON the land cultivated
the agricultural labor is mnch less en-
cient and the crop rcturns much smaller.
OF unctiltivated, but readily tillable
lands, there are in the State upward of
20, ,OO0, 900 acres. The merchants and
business men Of the State, in conven-
tion at New Orleans, have been desising
ways and means TO I'll up this uncul-
tivated area with immiganis; but il u
hardly likely that anything IN this direc-
ton win be accomplished until the
political troubles agitating the Stats are
settled.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

IT is estimated that the Pub. Docs. !"
printed by the Government in 1872,
which are worth about $45 all told, cost
the producers Of this country the nice
little sum of e, 486, ,062. 90.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

SEr in another column the advertise
ment headed 81 WI Help Any Man,"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13
JOHNNY GREEN'S COURTSHIP.
One sxsufne Johnny xsut 10 WOO

JOHNNY GREEN'S COURTSHIP.
Ono evening Johnny won't 10 WOO
One evening in October,
Such business vas to him quite new,
And he felt rather sober.
80 when he reached his charmerb house.
He ut him In the corner;
His Dolly was buxom blouse
BY no means did he scorn her.
This maiden with her father dwell
She v.s her Inotheris daughter;
Al d % John gased, he kind o. felt
All over kind o. sort o."
All In her best she was arrayed,
For John wss her first suitor;
He swore she was - "cute - lie
Perhsps little cutter !"
That ia, unto himself he swore,
For neer Q word was spoken;
They sat for three good hours or more,
And silence was unbroken.
Her little heart vent pit-a-pss,
And he felt dreadful queery;
He scratched his head and brushed his hat,
Yet spoke not to his deary.
The ribbons which adorned her hair,
He looked st and admired;
The crimson on her cheek 30 fair
With love his heart inspired.
He hem'd and haw'd, and tried 10 speak
For he was growing bolder!
But still his courage was too weak
"His love he never told her"
Impatientiy did Dolly wait
For him TO speak unto her,
Until twas growing rather lste-
And thus did Johnny WOO her.
At length his Dolly fen asleep,
And John thought he'd be going
az guess I'll go and feed them shsep,"-
So ended Johns first wcoing.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-06-13

Total. $40, ,sl9, 40, ,9l4
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07
Graduating Glasses. The Majors pre-.


Graduating Glasses. The Majors pre-
sentation speech was a happy effort.
full of wit, as well as deep feeling,
delivered in a manner that but few
can equal and none surpass.
DR.. West responded in a few re-
marks, expressive of his appreciation
of these marks of kindly regard from
those with whom he had been SO long
and so pleasantly associated. Though
brief, they were Thoughts that breathe
and words that burn"
THE CONCERTO AND FLORA,LIA,
Thursday night, which closed the exI
ercises for this term, was most deci-
ded success, delighting every one with
the beautiful scenes presented to tn
eye and the sweet sounds which fell
upon the ear. We think we may safe
ly say it surpassed any former enter
tainment of its kind at the Academy,
we can bestow no higher praise than
this.
At the close of the Concert, DIR.
Cobb, President of the Board of Trus-
tees, made short speech expressive of
the feelings of appreciation entertain
ed by the audience and by the entire
community towards all connected with
the Academy, and especially toward
DIR. West, and his able corps of assis-
tants, who have done so muchto make
this Institution an honor to our city
pride of our citizens.
DIR. West then made few remarks,
announcing the close of his connection
with the school, and concluded with the
kindest wishes to all.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07
REV. ]. B. WEST, ID. d.

With the closing exercises of the
Female Academy, On Thursday even
ing last, ended the connection of Rev.
j. B. West, ID. d., with that noble in
stitution. He found it a wreck, at the
close Of the war and, as labor of love,
undertook its re-establishment. His
indomitable energy, sound practical
sense, self-sacrifcing patience and de-
votion to the cause of education
brought it up to its present high STAN
dard as an institution of learning-the
equal Of any establishment of the kind
in the whole country. The announce
ment ofhis withdrawal was received
with regret, not only by his personal
friends, but by all who know him only
through the results of his well direct
ed efforts in the cause of female edu-
cation. DIR. West has been signally
successful as an educator, and though
he has encountered many of the un-
pleasant trials incident to his position,
he has borne them with cheerful
fortitude which not only robbed them
of their sting, but converted them in
to lessons of Christian charity and for
bearance. For seven years, he has
presided over the Acknowledging
faithfully, not for himself, but for
others, and now that sense of duty
to himself prompts him to retire, he
will carry with him the gratitude and
good wishes of his many pupils and
efficient assistants, as we'll as the con-
fidence and respect of the entire COM
munity in, and for, which he has
worked with so much zeal and ability.
And whatever may be his future, we
are confident he will ever recall the
past seven years as not the least useful
and honored portion of a life devoted
to the service of God and to the moral
and intellectual improvement of man.
Though we lose him as teacher, we
hope to retain him as a citizen whose
pure example, generous nature and
wise precepts cannot fail to produce
good results in any community.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07
SPECIAL NOTICES
THE OLD WHEELER,

Any one having an old Wheeler L. VIII
son Sewing Machine that needs Adjusting.
can have it made to do as good work as
when new, by taking the machine from the
table and sending 1t with the bohhin and
hemmer; to my ofiicei aud if any person
who wants q machine, will send me word,
1 will bring NEW Wheeler & Wilson to
their house, and If they do not buy, there
is no harm done or charge made.
JOS. NJ. FOWLKES, Ag't,
Office, No. IS Franklin st.
March ID, lS73-3m.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

ling of tobacco, and as consequence,
many of them are on the road to pros
perity.
We threw "physic to the dogs and
tried rest and moderate exercise, and
now return to our labors somewhat in
vigorased. and if We can hold on to the
improved condition of our physical
strength, we hope to keep on our pegs"
during the approaching heated term
With many thanks to our kind
friends for their incompatible good
treatment during our sojourn among
them, and thanks to an overruliPg
Providence for a partial restoration
to health, we conclude our random
epistle.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

TOBACCO MARKET.-Offerings for
the week continue large and sales foot
up nearly 800 hogsheads, at full prices
for good and fine leaf. The decline
in Tugs last week, is very nearly re-
gained, and prices approximate those
paid two weeks since. Stocks in all
the warehouses are diminishing, and
receipts show a slight falling Off
Warehousemen believe the bulk of
the crop to be in, and anticipate small
er sales from this time forward. We
notice a more active movement in the
staple at the seaboard, and are conf
dent that prices here will be fully
maintained during the season.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07
RExINGER'S SPECIALS!

FOE an imported Havana Cigar go to
Rexinger's, at the Post-of1ice. r
SMOKERS will save money by buying
their cigars and tobacco at Rexinger's.
For four fine Havana Cigars for Is cents
go To Post-office cigar store.
THOSE fine Cabana Cigars at Rexinger's
arr selling at ten cents.
For good Havana Cigar at ten cents,
go to Rexinger's at the Post-of1ice.
THE best brands of Tobacco and Cigars
sold at Rexinger's store at the Post-office.
For fine Seed Leaf and Havana Cigar
at i've cents. go TO Rexinger's Cigar Store.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

TALK about Saratoga, White Sui
pher, Long Branch, or any other fash
iOnable branch, few weeks sojourn at
some quiet place in the country will do
all for most persons afflicted, that
these expensive resorts will do-and
the beauty of it does not decrease
an already depleted purse.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

THE Good Templars have been in
vited to attend the dedication and sale
of lots at Greenwood Cemetery, on the
2lst inst, and it is hoped that they
may turn out and march in the pro-
cession. Let there be a general sus-
pension of business and everybody at
tend.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

McCoRMAcs Gallery, opposite the
Courthouse the Best and Cheapest
work in the city. he is making four
nice pitures for one dollar, and every
one warranted to give satisfaction.
may 2-tf.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

Mr.. 7. R. BURGIE, agent of the
Wheeler & Wilson Sewing Machine,
has new advertisement in this issue,
setting forth some of the excellencies
of his machine, and announcing that
he will repair any Wheeler IL Wilson
machine which may need it, for from
three to five dollars. Mr.. Burgie I'M
derstands his business, and is clever,
deserving gentleman, besides being
agent for a most excellent machine.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

BLOcH Bros. have just received
their second installment of summer
goods, among which are many new and
desirable styles of ladies dress goods.
In their lot of toilet articles will be
found the Vienna Soap, which is al
most transparent, highly perfumed, an
excellent article. Those who desire
something nice would do well to call
and procure some of it.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-06-07

THE Mayors proclamation requiring
the cleansing of streets, ect., of the
city, is well-timed. That fearful dis
ease cholera has reached Memphis,
and if we expect to be exempt from its
ravages, all due precaution should be
used. 1t is duty We owe to ourselves
and city, epidemic or no epidemic.