Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1873-02-08
The Conductors Dream.
BY REV. r. DE WITT TALMAoE, D. D.

Tie hal been on the train all day, had met
an kinds Of people, received all sorts Of treat
mcut. ruuctured all kinds of tickets, shouted
. An out !' and All aboard :" till throat, and
lead. and hand, and foot were weary. 1t
would be loug while before we would get to
another depot, aud SO he saaged down in the
corner Of tie car to sleep. lie was in the
most Uncomfortable position possible. The
wind blew in lis neck, his arm was hung over
the back # the seat lie had Que foot under
him, and is knee pressing hard against
brass hinge. Ia th,t twisted and convoluted
position; be fell asleep, aud soon began to
dream.
1t seemed to him, in his sleep, that the car
was full Of disagreeables Here was a man
who persisted in having a window up. while
t,e rain and slect drove in. There was a man
vino occupied thr whole seat, and let theladies
-tati Here sat a man smoking three poor
c.-ar~ At oue". aud expectorating into the bea-
.rr lat of the gentleman in front Yonder
va burglar on his way to Jail, and opposite
tmurs going 90 the -a,low, He thought
sp.,sr's took has watch, aud rudians
..H>.a ro pay their fare A woman travel
uag alone shot at him volley Of questions &:
" Say, conductor how long before we will get
to the Junction ?" Are You sure we have
not passed it % "Do you always stop there q
What time is it Madam, do keep quiet !.
None Of your inpudencc" "H,w far from
here to tie Junction q" DO you think that
other train will wait? o. d" Do you think we
will get there in dme?" Say, conductor,
how many miles yet?' Are YOU looking
out?" Now, You won't let ne 60 past will
you ?" Here conductor, here. Help me ont
with my carpetbag and baudbox and shawl
and umbrella and this bundle Of sausage aud
healchec>e" What was worse, the train got
going one lnudred'and fifty miles an hour,
aud pulling the connecting it broke aud
Tie cars got cii the track aud lcapcd on again
and The stove changed places with the wood
box. and things seemed going to terrible split
and numiu.atcl smash The cities flew past.
THE brakes were puweress The whistle
grew into frud's >hri-k Then tie train be-
gam to slow mp. aRd ,hected ghosts swung
lanterns along the track. and the cars rolled i'm
% white depot, which turned out to be a
great marble tomb; aud looking back To see
his passengers, they were all stark dead, frozen
in upright horror To- the c,r-backs.
Hearing by the mau's suore, and seeing by
hs painful look, be was having an awful dream,
we tapped him GA the shoulder, and said,
" Conductor. Inrn over that seat, and take
my shawl, and stretch yourself out and have
a comfortable nap" Thank You, sir, be-
said, and Immediately sprawlel himself out in
the easiest way possible. He began his sInm-
bers just as an express-train glides gracefully
out Of Pittsburgh depot; then went at it more
earnestly, lifted all the brakes, put on all the
steam, and N 1--WE minutes was under splendid
headway. He began second dream, but il
was the opposite If the first. He thought that
be had Just stepped ou the platform Of bis car.
aud lady handed him a bouquet fresh from
the hot-hou,e 4 long line Of railroad pre,i-
druts and ,uperinteudeuts had come to the de-