Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1873-11-11
Pronounce Them if You Can,

You will see great many qneer fixtures
and apparatus in gymnasium, but sumo of
the sentences for training in vocal gymnastics
are equally queer. By learning 60 utter them
all clearly, will be pretty certain to ao.
qnire the art of plain talking
The following furnish specimens for prac-
tice:
"Ami'lst the mis's and coolest frostq.
With harest wrists and stoutest boasts
lie thrusts his fists against the posts.
And still insists he sees the ghosts"
CRAZY Craycroft caught crate of crickled
crabs; crate of cricklel crabs crazy Cray.
croft caught. IF crnzy Cravcroft caught .
crate of crckled crabs, whe,e is the crate of
crickled crabs crazy Craycrccs caught ?"
''Thou wreath'd'st and muzzrdst the far
fetched OK, and imprson d st him in the volcan.
ic Mexican mountain of Pos o. cat. a. pet-l. !"
"Thou waft'd'st the ricketty skiff over the
mountain>height cliffs, and clearly saw'st the
full>orbed mooa."
"Robert Rowley rolled round roll round ::
around roll Robert Rowlev rolled round
Where rolled the round roll Robert Rowley
rolled round ?"
''Bandy-legged Barachio Mn. tachie Whis-
kerifuscus, the bald but brave Bonn bardino of
Baedad, helped Abormlique Blue Beard,
n
abominable Bundle of Bsshaw.'
Way down South" when paper Wa,
printed on Ramage by an old darkey press.
man named Sam, the forms we're always
placed on the press and made ready for him :;
and so, with well>trained negro boy, the
working of the paper progressed satisfactorily.
But 1t happened one day tina. Sam, who
could not read, was thrown entirely on his
own resources He put the forms to press
and pulled a sheet looked ct it intentIy.
turned it round, and turned it over; some-
thing was the matter; he looked sgain, felt
the tympan, held the sheet up to the light.
and looking over his spectacles at tho grin,
ming roller>boy; exclaimed:
Look heah, boy, why for yer don't stribbit
yer rollah !"
The form was bottom M.
- An old farmer, debating. his will to a
lawyer, said:
~ give and bequeath to my wife the sum
OF 910O a year. Is that writ down, mister ?'
Yes said tho lawyer, "but she is no. 90
old bns that she may marry again. Won't
you make any change in that case Most
people do"
"Ah, do they? Well. write again, and
say it my wife mnrries again, give and be-
Thas'll do, won't it?
"Why, that's just double the sum that she
would have if she remained unmarried" said
the lawyer. sit is generally the other way"
"Aye," said the farmer, but him that
takes her will deserve it ~
SECONDHAND P1L1s.-Our Teu,onic
friend, Johannes K, entered one of
our drug stores, and thus addressed one of the
clerks:
:'Too.or, feel sig all Offer, und de beebles
dells me peter take one 6ssick.''
"All RICH. sir" says the clerk, "will you
have dose of salts, or some pnrgative pill 81"
"VeI, vot it cost for dem saulds 2"
t'Fen cents, sir"
"und how much for dem fissicking dill p"
''lll give yon dose at the Same price. !"
After a vain search in his pocket for tie
required sum, he asked:
"r"ctor, you tond got some second. hand
bills, amt it 2"
The following is no less startling than
true. 1t is. We presume. from the pen of an
nnvei '.western editor -
IL set me down in thought profound,
This maxim wise I drew
It's easier for to ike girl,
Than make girl like you ~
Young men affected with calico proeliyi-
ties will please copy.
An innocent minded Brooklyn Girl said
tn 8 gentleman the other night: Tho mos
quitoes are terrible. You Just ought to see
my back "I wish I could, was the quick
reply.