The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-11-06

A sure drSin on o farm is heavy mortgage
at high rate of interest
Why Is retired carpenter like lecturer
because he's an ex-plainer. <a
Why are ciergymen like hrakesmen BE.
cause they do good deal of coupling.
t'Tho9 art so dear. ana yev SO rar,' as til
man said on looking down the shaft OF coal
mine.
The great difficulty of arguing some people
out oI thing Is, that they have never been
reasoned into 1t.
ST came off with flying colors," as the
painter said when he fell from ladder with
O palette on his thumb"
An escaped convict, who wants employ
ment advertises that he has had good deal
ofexperience in the ''bide business"
A Westera paper announces that board for
the summer can be obtained at "a large and
shady brick gentemAu's residence
contemporary speaks of fashionable
tailor AS being lone OF the old war horses OF
the trade" 'heavy charger" probably.
Writing from the Australian gold-felds, 3
surgeon says that he has now quite discarded
the lancet, and opens tho vein with pick
axe.
The meanest fshmonger in the world is the
mau who paints behring's with red paint and
blue spots. and sells them for specklsd
trout.
The ''cast of countenance' of an English
tragedlaH at present in Paris is described by
ing away Tracts"
The concluding words OF a Mormon
obi uary notice at Utah ale very pathetic !:
''He leaves thirteen widows and ftty-four
CHI dren to mourn his loss :"
An Indiana cooper put bis sen inside
eask he was finishing, to hold the head up.
At last accounts he was trying 20 fnd sou.e
way 10 get him out through the bung-hole.
The other day German, in Buffalo. fell
into beer vat, and was drowned. He drank
as hard as he could to save himself, and
would have succeeded had not a floating
cork choked him.
An Irishman, when he applied for license
TO sell whisky was asked by magistrate 1t
he was of goou moral character. He re-
piled, Faith, don't see the necessity OF q
good moral character to sell whisky"
Virtues are manifold and various: some
may shine brightly while others are dim
bui virtue is the central sun whose light aud
warmth permeate the character, and whose
rays penetrate into all our daily life.
A gentleman was Introduced 20 young
lady recently, and addressed her as follows
"Wbere do you live when you are at home ~
To which she promptly replied. when am
at home live there"
a story is told OF a person asking another
whether he would advise him to lend GER
tain friend money. What lend him mon.
ey! You might give him an emetic, and he
wouldn't return It.''
A little boy, after watching the burning of
the school-house until the novelty of the
thing had ceased, started down the street,
saying, 81 am glad the old thing is burned
down didn't, have my jogfry lesson no.
now"
~ 80
pots, and other household missiles in the re-
mains Of Swiss lacrustine villages leads DR..
Har mann, the distinguished ethnologlst, to
the conclusion that the domestic cat was uu-
known to prehistoric man.
In Washington. the other day, feminine
member OF cOoured operate troupe went
into dry goods store and called tor some
des cOlored hose. The clerk placed before
her box OF black stockings, and she went
away highly indignant,
Soon after LORDS elevation to the
peerage, he remarked that authors were often
very ridiculous in the titles they gave. |
THAT" said distinguished writer present,
sis an error from which even sO7ereigns ap
pear not to be exempt"
"You don't do work enough to earn your
salary" said the head OF a department in the
Custom House TO one OF his clerks. ''Work I"
exclaimed the young man. II worked hard
enough 20 get here Surely you don't expect
Tne TO work now l am here ~
Vuh Eu hn6
the other day. The nurse put his first born
in his arms, and Jenkins, regarding it
lovingly, while tear tickled down his grog-