The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1873-01-11

panions between the Tarts and the |
Torpples, an act Objectionable and
offensive to her, for everybody well
knows that the Torpples far exceed
the Tarts in every virtue to which
the human familyis heir. And Nh.
Tart seldom brings any of his
brothers or sisters into his house,
for his gunpowdery and selfish wife
unfailingly thinks he is just doing
it in order to convince her that
they can behave as well as the Torp
pies, or that he takes this method
Of cruelty informing her that he has
relatives as well as she. Knowing
the consequences he ceases to eulo-
gize or bring forth any secretly
loved member of the Tart tribe.
Mr.. Tart of course loves Tabitha
Trundle. Mrs. Tart of course g.
dores Timothy Troddle. Theywere
once struck by the alhters1zon IN
their respective and collective names
fell in love on said ALTERATION, and
| married in an alliterative sort Of way,
leaving still darling ALTERATION.
In the flock we find Thomas Thad-
deus Tart, Theodore Tadpole, Tram
way Trinkle, Tilda (never Matilda
Tarmagant, &c, &c. This is all
very much loved; but though she
permits but one original Tart to
view this and takes part therein,
she invites the whole sainted, re-
markable Torpple family into the
domestic ring. She pets the young
er Torpples,-her own dear broth
ers-and is ever holding them up
to her own children AZ excellent
models, and never forgets them, OF
allows Mr.. Tart to, on or shout the
Twenty-fifth of December.
| The Tart Dry Goods Store is
constantly invested by Torpplesofall
ages-the Torpples are Of the early
annual, prolific variety-end every
Torpple from the old gentleman,
who Just assists his son-in-laws, you
know, about the store, (said assist
ance being rendered by sitting q
round the stove to enjoy that son
in-law's daily paper to the smallest
child, is possessed of full knowledge
respecting Mr.. Tart's financial ani
domestic affairs
They sometimes have turke,
dinner. The moment the idea o
such a thing is suggested word i
dispatched to the family of Mrs
Tart, but no invitations go to hi
folks-because, You see, the Tart
and Topples never can agree Of
account of the extreme sensitive
ness and quarrelsomeness of tn
former, and the happiness of th
occasion shall not be marred by Al
uncongenial conglomeration.
In casting mysnot ever-descerr
ing eye back over over this brie
sketch, I perceive That Mr.. Tart
displayed in gunpowdery STATE
which is not incompatible or dis
sonant to my wishes or the trutl
but be it said to the credit of tha
strawberry -nosed gentleman, b.
fore the sharp teeth of the pres
shall snatch up these dull page
that he was not originally SO e,
tremely gunpowdery, or touchy, nc
SO selfish as to forget his own XII
Mrs. Tabitha Trundle Tart, thoug
slim and stiff and tender lookin,
had excited a terrible influence ovt
him, had damned up his flow /,
. love for his beloved parents an
family, turning that flow upon Il
heaps of the darling Topples.
, To-day Mr.. Tart looks into a di
: impossibiity when he has an o.
desire to be near his mother or 81
: ters again, and full we'll he know
!; that the mere intimation of such
: desire to his dear Tabitha Trund
will ignite her magazine of gul
powder and bring about his ears
!, tremendous and terrific explosio
: ALI the younger Tarts have gol
through a course of Tabith Trund
training and one by one have gra
: uated into q sound conviction th
Tarts other than themselves q,
: : ignoble, unworthy, unprincipled j
: habitants of our hemisphere.
their inexperienced natures mig1
ted gunpowder ieth. Some d,
, oh! what a fearful, what calan
: tous, what painful explosion the
: will come! And after the smol
. has cleared, who of the many Tor
!. pies can gaze upon the shatter
remnants of once happy hearts Al
say, 81 had no hand IN this"
!,