Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-12-11
Orr D. wants to know what's tn,

-Our -. wants 10 know what s the
difference between a dressmaker and q
goat, then with a chuckle he says:-
one cuts a basque, and the other bu t
a cask. IF you want to know what he
means by such nonsense, you will have
goat the D. and find out. Some OF
the girls will go for him yet.
Where is the man or woman (wo.
men can shootJ who will bring US in 4
rare quarter of venison? We've prom
ised a friend a saddle and if it don't
come along pretty soon we shall have
to send an invitation to some bouncing
buck to come in and be slaughtered, OF
90 out and kill it ourself.
TO fully appreciate this weather,
Just imagine yourself astride the Cath
Ollie spire cross arrayed in linen coat,
cotton socks, straw hat, paper collar,
nankeen breaches, and cotton gloves,
slipping ice water from the small end
Of an icicle-time, midnight, with two
moon dogs keeping guard in the heav-
ems
The exact weight of a shoe on a
mules hind foot is just ten tons.
Without the shoe. the hoof is
remarkably heavy. These facts have
been practically demonstrated by an
aspiring genius who learned humility
at the feet of a government mule, tick
ling the mule with a rye straw, himself
tickled with a government contract.
After the Goth probably the W.
V. Road will have laid the iron to the
junction with the Central road. Mr..
Wyatt informs us, that time will be
then shortened up, and two trains will
make communications with the Central
and st. Paul roads, Observe the time
table Of the road in proper column.
The road is doing a very large increas-
ing business.
%! how cold. The mercury has
indicated ten to fifteen leagues below
Bero's last Thursday night and Friday
morning. On the peak of Searl's hill.
Hershleb had to dig a hole to let the
quick silver get down to business. That
is the coolest spot on the globe. Last
winter we frozc the Pickering blaze of
our lantern. stark and stiff, on the apex
of that hill. Some folk may think we
are EARNING, but just ask Minor Har-
old.
The mortality list the past week
has been fearfully large. The little
me are suffering defamation at the
hands Of tho stalking scourge. We
understand that Mr.. Belanger and Mr..
Carrivcau, each lost a little one last
Monday, also one other in Centralia
went away the same day. Mr.. S. Pur-
dy's little Emma is sick, and other
families are suffering sorelv. The
scurge cannot continue its undated
fury much longer.
We are so glad we arn't a letter
carrier in a big city. An energetic
and tender-heartcd one of the genus,
recently, after footing it nine miles
and delivering the same letter to 179
different men, none of whom would re-
ceive it, sat down on a fire plug and
gushcd forth scaldinc tears because
Pocahontas was such a ninney as to
grab the old mans war club and a V
the progentor Of an innumerable race
who handle arithnetical progression
as carelessly as a cross-eyed school boy
does a shot gun.
These We shall eat, all that are in
the waters all that have fins and scales
shall ye eat:
Acting under this sc%riptural counsel,
an old Patriarch, on Starvation hill,
as good an old grandfather as ever had
a grandson feeling a little hungry
the other night, thought he would eat
a little salted codfish-we didn't mean
a little fish, but a little Of a big fish,
so swallowed a piece about as big as
his foot and went to bed. In the night
he felt very dry (though it was rain
ing,) and So dug out of his warm
couch for tho kitchen to exhaust that
drive pump, and give that fish a little
fluid to swim in. He was in angelic
attire, and just as he would open the
kitchen door he discovered the hired
girl had a beau. What to do he
didn't know. His stomach like a tax
gatherer was calling for it's dew, and
Ctill no tbirsta1 Tben q hnautiful