The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1873-08-21
Putting up a Stove.

| Putting mp stove is not so difficult
in itself 1t is the pipe that makes
four fifths OF the mischief and all the
dust. You may take down a stove
with all the care in the world, and
have your wife put away the pipe in
a secure place, and yet that pipe wont
come together again as it was before.
You fluid this out when you are
standing on a chair with your aims
full of pipe and your mouth full Of
SCOT. Your wife is standing on the
floor in position which enables her
to see yon, the pipe and the chair,
and here she gives utterance to those
remarks that are calculated to hasten
| man into the extremes of insanity.
Tier dress is pinned over her waist,
and her hands rent on her hips. She
has got one of i br hats on her head
and your linen IL on her back, and
par OF your r1bbcrs on her teet.
There is about ~ cents worth OF
pot black on hel nose, and lot OF
flour on her chid and altogether, she
is a spectacle Y would inspire a
corpse With dir And while you
xfA.a..-~-3<5
telling her that y know some tool
has been mixing Il, she stands safely
on the floor and bombards you with
such domestic notices as ::What's
the use OF scolding 50 ?" "You amt
got any more patience than child"
do Le careful OF thai chair" And |
then she goes off and re-appcars with
an armiul OF more pipe, aud, before
you are aware Of it, she has got that !,
stove-pipe so horribly mixed up
That it really does seem that no picc-
es are alike.
You join the ends and work them
to and fro, AMI fro and to, and then
you take them apart and look at
them. Then you spread one out and
jam the other together, and noun,
them once more. But it is no go.
You begin to think the pieces are
inspired with lie, and ache to kick
them through the window. But she
don't lose her patience. She goes
around with that awiully exaspera
ting rigging, and with length OF
pipe under each arm, and long han.
died broom III her hand, and SAYS she
don't see how il is some people don't
have any trouble putting up a stove.
Then you miss the hammer. You
don't see it anywhere. You stare
into the pipe, along the mantel, and
down onto the stove and off to the
Hoor. Your wife watches YOU, and
IS finally thoughtful enough to it,
qn're what you arelooking after, AMI
on learning, pulls tie article from
her pocket, an! merely Observes
:" WHY on earth don't you speak when
you want anything, and no, stare so
like a dummy 2" Wien that part of
the pipe tina: goes tn, ough the wall
IS UP, she keeps 1t up with her broom
while you are making the connection
and stares at 1t with an intensity that
IS entirely uncalled for. All the
while your position becomes more
and more interesting. The pipe does
not go together, of course. The
SCOT shakes down into your eyes aud
mouth. the sweat rolls down your
ace and tickles your chin as it drops
off, and it seems as il your arms
we're slowly but surely drawing out Of
her sockets. Here Your wife comes .
o the rescue by inquiring il you are
,olng to be all day dong nothing, '
nd IT you think her arms are made I
! cast-iron, and the broom slips off :
no pipe, and in her endeayor to ie- il
over her hold she jabs you under 3
ne chin with the handle, and the pipe c,
ONES down on your head with It's
'ad OF fried SCOT, and the chair Tits D
'rward enough to discharge your r
ct, and you come down on the Fl
roEg end OF that chair with "A force g
lat would bankrupt a pile driver n
on don't touch that stove again. o.
gu leave Your wife examining the y,
lair and bcmoaning its injuries, and 8.
into the kit0hen to wash your
lnusd and biz pg hands with vel.
W soars 6dowa street
Ter man 70 ~ business, and
nr wife goes o. 70 tho neighbors
lh her chair an tells about its in. :,
rics, and drains The neighborLood
y OF its sympathy long before Won fo
home.-DanJNry Macs. M