The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-05-01
VOLUME III.
miscellaneous Selections.
UNCLE SAMMY

CARLETON.
Some ,yarr w re born for great tbinps
SomeNit is born for small;
Wbv IN not recorded
But Uncle SAM g W ey were born ot all,
cal ny was certain he had legitimate
F,a, ,e We're born with talent,
S Some 1;Wr W. IN scrip and land;
And" III spoon of silver,
But u nale 81 some with different brand;
Ammy came holding an argument in
each hand
Arguments sprouted within him,
And twinked in his little eve;
He lay and calmly debated
When average babies cry,
And seemed to be bordering gravely whether to
But prejudced on that question
lie grew from day to day,
And finally he concluded
A., Twas better for him to stay;
ana so into life's discussion he reasoned and
reasoned his way
Through childhood, through youth, into
Argued and arguedh
And he married a simple maiden,
Though scarcely in love was she;
But he reasoned the matter so clearly, she hardly
could help but agree.
And though at first she was blooming,
And the new firm started strong
And though Uncle Sammy loved her,
And tried to help her along,
She faded away in silence, and twas evident
something was wrong.
Now Uncle Sammy was faithful
And various remedies tried;
lie gave her the DOCTORS prescriptions,
And plenty of logic beside;
But logic and medicine failed him. and SO one
day she died.
He laid her away in the church-yard,
so haggard and crushed and wan;
And reared her q costly tombstone
A. With all of her virtues on;
ana ought to have added, "a victim of argu-
ments pro and CON-
For many year Uncle Sammy
Fired away at his logical forte
Discussion was his occupation,
And alteration his sport;
lie argued himself out of churches, he argued
himself into court
But alas for his peace and quiet
one day, when he went it blind,
And followed his singular fancy
And slighted his logical mind,
ana married a ponderous widow that wasn't of
the arguing kndl
Her sentiments all were settled,
her habits were planted and grown
ter heart was starved little creature
That followed a will of her own;
Anu she raised Il high hand with Sammy, and
proceeded to play it alone.
Then Sammy he charged down upon her
With all of his strength and his wit,
And many deXtrous encounter,
And many a fair shoulder-ht;
But vain were his blows and his blowing: he
never could bulge her bit.
He laid down his premises round her,
He scraped at her with his saws;
He rained great facts upon her,
And read her the marriage laws;
But the harder he tried to convince her. the harder
anu harder she was.
She brought home all her preachers,
AS many as ever she could
With sentiments terribly settled
WIN, ana appetites horribly good
Who sat with him long at his table, and ex-
planned to him where he stood.
ARD nd s,ny Sammy Nv was not long dn in Learning learning
III sf PSSss i Ssfi Eii PhSSd Esf flown,
And she, with the best of assertion, soon tramped
all his arguments down.
And so, with his life aspirations
Thus suddenly brought to "a check
And so, with the foot of his victor
Increasingly pressing his neck
He wrote on his face, ''I'm victim,' and
drifted-a logical wreck
And farmers, whom he had argued
To corners tight and fast,
Would wink at each other and chuckle,
And grin at him as he passed,
AS to say, "Ay ambitious Old fellow, your whip
plctree's straight tened at last"
Old Uncle Sammy one morning
Lay down on his comfortess bed,
And Death and he had discussion,
And Death came out ahead;
And the fact that SHE failed to start him was only
because he was dead.
The neighbors laid out their old neighbor
With homely but tenderest art;
And some of the oldest ones faltered,
And tearfully stood apart;
For the crusty old man had often unguardedly
shown them his heart.
But on his face an expression
OF quzzical study lay,
AS il he were sounding the angel
Who Travelled with him that day,
And laying the pipes down slyly for an argumen
on the way.
And one new fashioned old lady
Felt called upon to suggest
That the angel might take Uncle Sammy
And give him good nights rest,
And then introduce him to Solomon, and tell hin
to do his best
-Hdrper's Weekly.