Elizabeth daily monitor. [volume] (Elizabeth, N.J.) 1868-1880, 1873-08-26
Humors Of the telegraph.

into telegraph office in Bangor, Maine,
with message, and asked that it be
sent Immediately. The operator took
the message as usual, put his in
strument in communication with
its destination, licked off the signals
upon the key, and then, according to
the rule of the Office, hung the message
paper on the hook with others that had
been previously sent, that at night they
might all be filed representation. The
man lounged around some time, evil
IDENTIFY unsatisfed. eat last" says the
narrator Of the incident, shis patience
was exhausted, and he belched out.
Amt you going to send that dispatch
The operator politely informed him that
he had sent it. mo, yer amt, replied
the indignant man there it is now on
the hook"
So far as the exact use of language
was concerned, the man was right. Still
more ludicrous mistakes sometimes &C.
cur. Thus the German papers reported
that at Carlsrube, towards the close of
the late war, an aged mother came to
the telegraph office carrying dish full
of sauerkraut, which she desired to
have telegraphed to Rastadt. Her son
must receive thekraut by Sunday. The
operator could not convince her that the
telegraph was not capable of such a
performance. elbow could SO many
soldiers have been sent to France by
telegraph ?" she asked, and finally de-
parted grumbling.
Almost every operator meets with
equally amusing instances. One re-
Gently related the following incident :.
"a gentleman came to my office to send
message, and after writing it, waited,
as people often do at small offices, to
see it sent, I called Office and the
operator at the other end of the line
came to the key and said, Busy--a
minute. So I leaned back in my chair
to wait, when thegentleman salt, Have
you sent it 2 I said, No; they say
they are busy--to wait a minute
whereupon he said, looking surprised,
Why, I didn't hear them and then
added, Frightening up, as if he had
thought of the reason, but am little
deaf in one ear 7 think managed to
keep straight face till he left, but it
was hard work."
He Liked His Joke. $780, =.
Never at rest, travelling from one PAT
of the continent to another, the chic
joker seemed to be to worry Custom
house officials. Arriving at some par
ticular country, provided with guam
tity Of baggage, an inimitable actor, ht
would pretend to conceal two of them
huge trunk and smaller one, from
the eyes of the officials, only the more
to excite their curiosity. At last the
larger trunk would be opened. 1t would
be found to contain thousands oil
secondhand pantaloon straps, an appen
dix to trousers now perfectly obsolete.
In vain the Custom-house people would
try to cudgel their brains to solve the
mystery. They had to be all bundled
out to the very last one, but to thei,
amazement no two straps were found
to be alike. They had evidently been
packed by hydraulic pressure, for ths
most frantic efforts on the part of the
employees would not put them back
again into the trunk. In the meantime
hundreds of passengers were storming
at the detention, while the practical
Joker calmly looked on at the bother he
was causing. But the second and
smaller trunk was now to be examined,
and the Custom-house people hoped
there to find him in default. They ask
for the keys. The practical joker
draws punches of ponderous keys from
every one of his pockets none will fit,
until at last, their patience exhausted
the Custom-house officers threaten to
burst the trunk open. Then the pos.
SCISSOR of this particular trunk calmly
abs M off, - ho &c ~s<l
'"What is that your business ?" is the
reply. "Only this: that before you
open that trunk would advise you to
go home, shake hands with your wife,
kiss your little children, write your will,
and call at an undertaker's as you come
back-there are rattlesnakes in thai
trunk. never travel without Them
OF course the man leaves the trunk in
stantly, and a messenger has to be sent
TO the head director, who is shrewd
enough to be aware that he has to dc
with some practical Joker. Presently
the official returns, and asks, pomp'
ously, elbow many snakes have you.
'5ir?' "Only six" is the reply, 'Lool
Tor yourself" "Oh only six. TIL.
nead of the department says six snakes
can pass, but that seven would have
had to pay duty. am also directed tt
state to yo1, that if you do not leave
CHS office-pantaloon-straps, snakes
and all, in five minutes you will be for
cibly elected" "And who is to repacl
my precious straps, a collection un
equaled in the history of the world
the law entities me to all my goods
You took them out, put them bacl
again. The best period of my life il
being devoted to finding pairs of thos,
straps. But I am in the cruel grasp O
the law, and have no one to defend m,
rights save this, my champion" ant
here the practical joker uncovers hi
head, surmounted by peculiar higl
hat. from whence appears snow-whit,
diminutive Bantam-cock. The CHECKER
raises himself up from the ioker's head
elaps his wings, crows three times, th,
hat is put on again, the chicken goes Il
roost on his head, and having in abou
fifteen minutes driven the Custom
house people to madness, besides an
noying host of anxious travellers, the
practical joker disappears.