The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-09-13
Wit and Wisdom.

pie! Early IN the fall
WHEN you tell man Joke, poke
him in the shirt and he'll laugh.
THE only food that is always cheap
and abundant is food for laughter.
To learn the value of money-Try to
borrow it.
Taylor says there is no goodness in
nature but virtue.
A WISE questioning is the half of
knowledge.
ERROR will slip through a crack,
while truth will get stuck in the door
way.
EDUCATION produces great results in
the United States. 1t is said to make
good children even out of the Cincin-
natl boys.
BAD temper bites at both ends it
makes ones self nearly as miserable as
it does other people.
The man who divided the human
race into two classes exploded hum
| bugs and uuexploded humbUgs-has
not yet decided, so far as heard from,
IN which class to locate.
| IT has been discovered why the
who did it was not ambitious, but he
was agent for patent fire eXtiuguisher.
| The editor of an Illinois paper thinks
| fishing, as a general rule, doesn't pay.
1--WE stood all day in the river last
week, " he says, but caught nothing
until we got home.
| The taste of emotion may become a
| dangerous taste; we should be very
cautious how we attempt to squeeze out
| Of human life more ecstacy and par
oXysm than it can well afford.
| IT is one of the first effects of pros
perity to make man a vortex instead
| OF nOuntain SO that instead of
| throwing out, he learns only to draw
| III.
LITERARY GENT Cat Saratoga, to
'Shoddy Mlss)-Have You read Shaks-
peare ?" Shoddy Miss" OF course [
nave. | read them when they fust came
out"
"JURY, SAID Western Judge, ''you
kin go out and find a verdict. If YOU
can't find one of your own, get the one
the last jury used" The jury returned
verdict OF suicide i'll the ninth degree.
! How it Stands" Mary, go into the
sitting room, please, and tell me how
! the thermometer stands" Mary, after
investigating, said = It stands on the
| first mantel-piece, jest east the wall
men,
PIGEON PIE-Tom - say, gramma,
do you think this poor pigeon was dead
when cook put him in the oven z"
Gramma Yes, dear; why?" Tom
Oncredulously) because he's knock
ed off all his toes in kicking through
the crust-that's all :"
MIR. JOSH Billings philosophically
remarks that we latr at sheep because
when one of them leads the way all the
rest follow, however ridikllus it may
be; and | suppose the sheep laff when
they see us do the same thing.
SEVERAL Irishmen were disputing
one day about the invincibility of their
respective persons, when one of them
remarked, 9 Faith, I'm a brick. p" ''And
lndade I'm a bricklayer," said another,
giving the first speaker a blow that
brought him to the ground,
"WHAT is that, children 2" asked a
young pastor, exhibiting to his Sunday
school a magic lantern picture of a Door
sinner cllnging to a cross towering out
of stormy waves in mid-ocean. Rob
inson Crusoe!" was the instant reply.
AN exchange says: "The Nebraska
Indians are allowed to ride free on all
trains they can jump on while the lat
ter are III motion. The tribe IS being
reduced very rapidly. This is by all
odds the most effective and economical
system of dead heading on record
O'Grady were converslng on age, when
one of them put the home question,
Which of us do you think the elder,
Mr.. OGrady Sure" replied the
gallant Irishman, "you both look
younger than each other"
A STONE. CUTTER received the follow
ing epitaph from a German, to be cut
upon the tombstone Of his wife: Mine
wife Susan is dead, If she had lift till
mex friday she'd bin dead shust two
weeks. As tree falls SO must it stan,
all tings is impossible NIT God"
Two Milcsians were standing at the
Paramount water works, in Philadel-
phia, watching the dig wheels splash
ing the water IN every direction, when
ode of them remarked q Mike, isn't
'Aiio a. ittohiS SctlbiIiJ, NncIt blity nave
to grind their water before they can
use 1T Z"
'HAvE you noticed" asked a friend
of Ambrose Thomas, the French COM
poser, chow X. seems to have lost his
pompous manners, since his last fasco?"
" Oh, replied Thomas, q misfortunes
are tie sharps of life. They restore US
to our natural tone again. -
He Gmaginative)-"I always think
it's pity to be III London when the
country and gardens are so lovely.
Your Howers must be splendid lust
now" She (practlcal-taking tea)-
: Yes; mamma says some of us ought
to go down tor a day or two just to
please the gardeners -
Nor least among the sagest of do.
nestle maxlms IS the remark that q
man has no business In the kitchen
anyhow; and fooling around the cook
ing range sooner or later teaches him
the trut.i of this, unless he can tell hot
iron from cold iron without touching
1t.
ITALIAN wit is highly dramatic, spon-
taneous, genial. Among It's proverbs
are The dog earned his living by
wagging his tail ''Make yourself all
honey, and the flies will devour IT.
The smiles of a pretty woman are
the tears of the purse" "He who
takes an eel nv the fail or q uo,,o,