The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-05-09
FROM the Phiiadelphia star.


FoLIrICIAN-How TO BECOME oNE-A
TOT CHING DIALOGUE.
From the Philadelphia star.
There was once a little boy named Tom,
my. who read the New York Ldd9e, IIL
L,s mind became filed with all Nhds OF
stories about the sea. 90 ne Io!'' i4iS ''''ttC4
tbat he wanted 10 be pirate. DuI MS
father told him it was just as GOOD 10 De 4
3Iiticiau. Then Tommy cried ana sitlu,
'No. lie would be pirate OF nothing.
His kind father took him ON his iIrte anG
said: s.My dear boy, you have noble
character, but why do you want to be a
pi,ate? Is it not TO sail III a ship on the
sua, with 4 big cutlass i'll your belt, and TO
LIN other people and get lots of money and
live in a cave on some lonely island? 1lrlt
Is the way Capt. Kidd did, and many other
bold sailors, IN the good old times no"
gone. But, Tommy, it is not the iashioh
To do those things now, and II you IILcu -
You would soon be caught and hanged,
Tommy. how would youlike that? Papa
don't waul his little son to be hanged Solet
Us hear no more OF piracy. our education
saall hereafter be conducted with we" 10 10
politics. So run away, papa busy now,
mo, father" said Tommy, II want 10
know what is a politician
"A politician, - said his father, rs q klliu
of a pil;ttc-a land piratc-who does, in
gcntccl and easy way, what Capt Kidd and
the Black Buccancer of the Gulf did 50
clumsily, and at such great risk. hose
pirates plundeled individuals; the poltI-
clan plumbers the whole community, city,
State, and sometimes nation. lie
makes much money, and becomes great
man. Father is trying 10 be politician
himself
Little Tommy's eyes sparkled with de-
light ; he clapped his hands and cried,
''Oh daddy | want to be a politician
Tell me about some Of them. Did you ever
see one ?''
''Yes and you can read of them in the
papers, i'll which the criminal stories are
much more wonderful than the New York
Ledger tales. You should read the debates
liz Congress, in the Legislature, and i'll
councils, Tommy. They will fire your
youthful ambition"
Tell me some Of those stories, please"
said Tommy.
''Well, once upon timc,'' said his faith
er, ''there was an old pirate named Ames,
who had band of other pirates who called
themselves tie Credit Mobiliers. There
was great railroad worth lots Of money,
and in the treasury of the people there was
lots more. So Ames and his band made a
raid upon the road and the Treasury, and
stole millions of dollars. After while
they were caught, and the Congress of the
nitCd States pretended to try them. But
see, Tommy, how nice it is to be politl-
clan. Had they been pirates they would
have been put in prison, but as they were
only politicians, Congress let them oil and
said they did nothing wrong"
Tell me another story, please, father
said Tommy.
''Wen another time there was pirate
i mean a pUlitician-whO went around
at election time cheating and he cheated
and he cheated, just as Capt. Kidd sailed,
and sailed, and sailed. Well, he was
caught and put in prison. Yes, Tommy,
the naughty judges sent him to prison for
three years. But, because lac was a pOliti-
clan, the President pardoned him i'll three
weeks. Now, if he had been pirate, they
would have kept him III jail.
''Just one more story, papa" said Tom
my. Il like these stories much better
than the others, because they are true"
..The Evans case" said his father TO
himself in a muSing way, 'the pmGon of
Nerkes. waterdcpartment, convicted feiUns
in office. Caldwell, Pomeroy, Patterson
hum hum there are such n lot of good
stories, Tommy, that | don't know which
10 tell you. Wen think over it some other
time. But if you really intend to be poll
lician, there is great deal to learn, and you
L.Ust study now while you are young.''
''Ges, father, l will, said Tommy.
''Whcn was boy" continued his faith
I
;trents sent me to Suuday-schOOl, and
" whipped me when ! stole apples and told
ibis. ! was afraid to develop my natural
talents. They taught me Chat it was wrong
to look a man in the face and say one thing,
and even swear to it, and then go and do
another. So all my bOyhood was wasted
in the pursuit Of virtue, and when became
q man | was rs green as you are now.
Eut you. my boy, shall have the benefit Of
ha af VII 1t' rgflI n ys,1Il
old daddy. oh. Tommy, if my parents had
lrought me up Iight--that is, l mean
vrong-I might have been a much more
successful man. | might have been Il
Credit Mobiier l might have stolen a
million OF dollars. l might have kept u
Leno shop. | might even have been in 4
au-cau-cuS--aud tried to ll-kick somebody
out--for voting right" and the old man,
overcome by his grief, burst into tears.
Yes, my chid-the streets. You can
learn a great deal there, if you are atten-
tive. You can learn the latest slang phras-
IS and how t" swear. By the way, DO you
ever swear?'
i say 'doggon it, and 'dod rot it, and
such things replied Tommy.
You might begin ON some forcible
Ncrbs,' said his father. Il will have to
give you some lessons. Can you conjugate
the verb, to damn ?''
Il think 50, said Tommy, and he pro
Ceeded to say
Il damn, We dam,
Thou damnest, You damn,
He danns, They damt.''
Every good - SAID his fond father
''you are very clever little boy. Here is
a counterfeit quarter, which you can get
the old blind cake woman to change for
You. Now run away and don forget your
grammar and what l have told you. But
stop! don't let me hear any more nonsense
about wanting to be pirate.''
No, papa" said little Tommy, as lie
skipped away, with a merry laugh, I'D a
great deal rather be a politician
ScoTCH ECHoEs.-Though the natives
of Scotland are generally supposed to be
extremely reticeut of speech themselves,
then country, as it happens, is very loqua-
cious III the matter Of echoes. This is ac-
counted for 10y the rugged and mountain
Gus character Of the northern kingdom
ppSpup.tf H. near & t:ISopyy Ca11 lane orS