davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

NOT MATED.-Some families seem born to
ill-luck. The following tells of the experience
of family of girls in Maine: Four girls of
Augusta were married at the same time and
place about year ago One of them left her
husband three weeks after marriage. Her
excuse was that he insisted that she should
wash herself at least once a week. The second
got a divorce from her husband two months
after marriage because he called his mOther-in-
law "a id old meddng nuisance The
third has separated from her husband because
he eats raw onions. And the fourth has ap-
piled for divorce because her husband always
makes her GO to bed first, and then gets into
bed with cold feet, and warns them on her
calves! The chances in Maine for married
| happiness is not brilliant.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A youth of nineteen lately fed from Dodscn,
Ohio, to escape the enamored clutches of an
enamored girl of twenty-five. At Rockland,
Ind, he received this telegram from a friend,
"Gctup and dust. Sal S on your track, close. y
He ''dusted' his best forthwith but she came
up with him in an obscure Illinois town and
led him back home and to the altar.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A leading medical Journal says that sleeping
rooms should always be arranged, if possible;
so as to allow the head Of the sleeper to be
turned toward the north. Frequently, in cases
of sickness, person will find il impossible to
obtain rest if his head is in any other direction,
and often a cure is retarded for long time.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A man up in Lehigh county is in guam
dairy. About FIVE years ago he had an omnibus
dream, and, being trihe superstitious, he
thought he was going to die: SO he purchased
a handsome and expensive coffin, which fit him
to st" He not only still lives, but he has
grown six inches taller since investing in that
puts bay window in the head, or knocks out
the foot board, he cannot lie down in it
straight, like respectable corpse should. He
is now undecided whether to enlarge his coffin,
and thus spoil its symmetry and beauty, or 70
have six inches taken off his legs. 1t is Q
"grave" affair, any way you look at it
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

An unfortunate Jersey editor thus addresses
his delinquent subscribers:
Friends, we are penniless. Jobs turkey
was a millionaire compared with our present
depressed treasury. To day if salt was two
cents barrel, we could not buy enough to
nickle iav bird "
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

ANY business well stuck to will bring its due
reward. A woman named Risley, at Des
Moines, who has built the fire every morning for
ten years, while her husband slept, has just
been left legacy OF $4,000 by a Scotch
uncle
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A "charm doctor" died lately in Buffalo,
and horseshoe. a stuffed frog, filbert nut
and an English shilling, all folded together in
cotton cloth, were found suspended about his
neck He was honest enough to believe in his
own medicines, at any rate.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A Massachusetts, farmer recently advertised
his farm for sale, an now he is asserting thas
he has fed out over hundred barrels Of oats
to the horses of persons who have come to
nvnminn II
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A little boy in Dover, refusing to take 3
pill, his mother placed it in piece of
minutes she said: "Tom, have you eaten the
pearl" He said, "yes, mother, all bat the
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
1890

1t is stated that Mr.. Stockwell, who has been
lately SO badly hled in Wall street, tells this
old Joke as upon himself "When first came
down in Wall street | was called Stockwell !;
then. when | began TO make money, l was
Mr. Stockwell. Then it was Captain Stock
we'll; and subsequ 'ntly became known as
Commodore Stockwel Now it is that red
headed cuss from Cleveland"
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

Brigham Young, in giving up the cares of
State, has retired to what the newspapers call
"the bosom of his family" Since the days OF
Solomon, no family ever had such bosom.
1t is a perfect Sierra of breasts.-GOlden Age.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

The old practice Of prescribing medicated
bacon for lung diseases is beginning to come
into favor again, which will give the graceful
pig chance to root out the prejudice under
which he has so long suffered.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A Milcsian astounded a grocer by entering
his store with this request: Mister McGra,
would you lend me an empty barrel of -four to
make a hen coop fur me dog ?"
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A man writing poetically of the weather
says, The backbone of winter is broken, but
the tail wags yet occasionally"
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

One in every twenty-eight of London's
population is a pauper, and the number
l20, ,0O0-is steadily and rapidly increasing,
A cheerful prospect, truly, for the English
Babylon.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

A young man at Dresden, Tenn, lately sold
out his interest in his afianced to Mckenzie
man for pointer dog.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

HEALTH AND TALENT.-It is no exaggera-
tion to say that health is a large ingredient in
what the world calls talent. A man without it
may be giant in intellect, but his deeds will
be the deeds of dwarf On the contrary, let
him have quick circulation, good digestion,
the bulk, thews and sinews of man, and the
alacrty, the unthinking confidence inspired by
these, and though having but tlimbleful of
brains, he will either blunder upon success or
set failure at defiance. 1t is true, especially in
this country, that the number of centaurs in
every cOmmunity-of men in whom heroic
inte llects are allied with bodily constitutions as
tough as those of horses-is small that, in
general, a man has reason to think himself
well off in the lottery of life if he draw the
prize of healthy stomach without a mind, or
the prize of fine intellect with a crazy
stomach But OF the two, a weak mind in a
herculean frame is better than giant mind in
a crazy constitution. A pound of energy, with
an ounce of talent, will achieve a greater result
than pound of talent with an ounce of energy
The first requisite to success in life is to be a
good animal. In any of the learned profess
slons vigorous constitution is equal to at least
| fifty per cent. more brain. Wit, Judgment,
Imagination, all the qualities of the mind,
| attain thereby force and splendor to which
they could never approach without it. But
intellect in weak body is like gold in spent
swimmers pocket" A mechanic may have
tools of the sharpest edge and highest polish
but what are these without a vigorous arm and
hand? OF what use is it that your mind has
become a vast granary of knowledge, if you
have not stength to turn the key ?-Getting on
az The World
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
State Library

.Asaat -T--Tr--ff sasfaa ~
All persons having books in their possession belong
ing to the State Library hereby notified TO i'm
diately retnrn the same. Under recent Act of the
General Assembly one with he pernilted to retain
a book belonging TO the Library for d longer term
than week. ..., '........ ..,....-, ,
apls35s ~ 20 = III. =. ENRfGHT, Librarian.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

Tho announcement that truth is stranger
than fiction" is said to depend chiefly upon
who tells IL
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

The ladies' are wearing what is known as the
SNOWFALL veil. 1t is of black lace, dotted with
white. aud very becoming.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

He who spends before he thrives will bet
before he thinks.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
THE
lADY'S FRIEND
Washing WI achine /!

IL is said by many ladies that have them in use,
thstiheY are very truly named. ANY person that has
used The OOty Machine can use this one without any
difficulty the process of washing is much the same
except that 1t washes much faster II will wash about
double the qusnIiy OF goods time. Ii will wash
them quicker and cleaner; 1t only works half hard
as the Dolly or any other machiue that takes in
greIa buik OF goods at a Iime The family have
The capacity OF washing sheets in three minutes
hive washed, with the Hotel size eight sheets and
eight pto" cases IN three minutes in public, by the
watch. all made OF tOIerably heavy goods Wha.
say of 1t am prepared prove by pracIcal demon.
sirauon whenever required TO do
IL believed hy many that clothing washed in this
Machine VIII last about twice as long as II washed
on the washbOard.
The Pace Of this Machine ia Reduced 10 suit the
tmcs. from SIS to $I3 at factory, and freight
sddel 1t freighed All orders by mail promptly at.
tended 10 Satisfaction is guaranteed in all cases.
Any person not satisfied after using the Machen sill
months, and giving II fair tr'a and have no olher
reason save hat II does not work satisfactorily, such
one can fetura 1t, and the money will be refunded.
GER TTFICATES:
consider the Lady's Friend Washing Machine SO
far superior 10 the Doy that my Dov Machine is laid
asde and is tsf sale at half prCe Rev. DANIEL SILL
Certificates from Persons Liuing in Smyrna, Del.
would nottake one hundred dollars for my Lady,
Friend Washing Machine, could not get another one
OF the same kind. -.r. T. d. HAMILTON.
cannot now conceive how should be able to ge
along without my Ladys Friend
Mas DR. WIN T. COLLINS.
would not part with my Lady's Friend hardly a
any price, Il could get another Of the same kind
have never seen any uher kind OF Washing Ma
chine that | would have. WIN. II. BAGGS.
My wife would dispose of any piece Of furniture i
our house sooner than with her lady Friend Wash
ing Machine. DAVID II. SMITH HERS,
Before got the Ladys Friend it took four wome
nearly all day to do the washing Of my hotel. but nO'
boy twelve years old can do the same amount
washing by ten eleven O'Clock. and do the IroI
ing the same day. CHAS. e. FOXWELL.
sePI86m
For further information apply to
ASA E. WORDEN, Manufacturer.
Agents Wanted Smyrna Del
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

When wine enters, wisdom goes abroad.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
MIND rs DESTROYED BY SELF INDULG.

MIND rs DESTROYED BY SELF INDULG.
@ux ENCK
LOss OF MemoEv by sefInduigence. -...s $50
ETucapaelt y-fOf Marriage by seifrhd afxence.
Paralysis fs caused by self Indulgence.
Nervousness caused by saf-iBfulxenee.
COnsumptioni IL cauked BY Imprudence
Heart Disease Is caused BY Imprudence.
Death Is caused By Imprudencf. ..t
Dr.. J. n HOBENsACK has restored seventy thousand to
health in the last thirty and the most
snecesul physician confidential in the
United States and every young who premeditaes
Marriage call write and receive advice and treatment
health life Oce 206 North
sEC0ND ST. above Race. Phfla, Pa. 81 lmch26 eowil
others.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14

How One ESCAPED THE DIsASTER-The
London correspondent Of the Boston Courier
writes:
Apropos of the Atlantic disaster, good story
is told about one Of your Americans, whO in
the midst of the talk at Garrick Club about
the vessel, walked in, and was asked If he knew
anybody on board the ship: "Came very near
being on board myself" was his quaint reply.
II had engaged my passage, packed my trunks,
and was all ready to SAIL when friend made
an appointment for me to see Miss BraddOn.
| Well, | concluded that | had rather take
another ship than miss seeing that popular
novelist, and here | am" When we had con.
doled with him upon his narrow escape,
Then" he proceeded, II don't know that |
should have been drowned, anyway; you see
the folks seem to have been caught asleep.
never sleep so long as l can get anybody to sit
up with me, and had friend on board who
was great on sitting up." ''And was he
| saved p asked the club chorus. Well,
don't know yet; | didn't see his name this
morning, but know that he was sure to be up
and he u spry, energetic man, and if were In
Even as he spoke the page brought in the
evening paper, and dozen hands reached ou
for it. | happened to be nearest, and read ou
the names Of the cabin passengers who haC
been saved When | came to the last name O
all, my American friend said calmly, "That i
the man. | told you he was sure to be up
t He's saved Well, | am very glad. Let u
drink his health" One such incident as thi
out-weighs thousand essays upon the early t.
S bed and early to rise theory, and [ am afrai
. that late nights at the club will be later, an
5 the 'early birds" at the club will be demOra
Z lied by the escape of this Spry, energetic man
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
A Safeguard Against Malaria.

One OF the most serious impedimentS to the
progress of settlement in many parts of the
United States is the malaria that affiicts even
the Oldest residents, and that seldom fails to
seize upon newcomers. In the low districts of
the seabOard States and in most OF the low
lands at the west this malaria reduces the value
Of real estate, prevents the increase of pOpula
ton and drives off capital All sorts of devices
have been proposed aud resorted to for the pur-
pose of getting rid Of it. Drainage of swamps
and wet lands is the first and most obvious ex-
pedient. But this does not destroy it, though
it undoubtedly mitigates the evil There are
large tracts OF country where qulnlne is an
article of prime necessity in consequence Of the
prevalence of malaria, aud during the civil
war the Union armies had to use it everywhere
so extensive are the regions at the south sub
ject to fever. One Of the greatest hardShips
OF the confederate armies was their inability to
get proper supplies Of quininc.
1t is therefore matter OF no small import
ance to learn that Il tree has been discovered in
| Australia which is said to possess the power of
dlSpelling malaria. 1t is called the eucalyptus,
and in Australia grows to height so prodigious
as even to surpass the renowned giant trees oi
California, although it does not compare with
them in circumference. Its growth is very
rapid one eight years old in Algiers having at
tanned height of thirty-fve feet, and
circumference of five feet. Such is it
value as a febrifuge that in Spain and thu
South cf France its leaves are used as a SUD
stitute for quinine. When planted in swamp!
land it has decided effect in draining the soil
and thus freeing it from malaIious tendency
which, if its growth is so enormous as stated
probable enough, since such huge giants woul
require a great supply of water and would sue
up the moisture everywhere within reach.
This is the advantage it has over other tree
of more moderate growth, since one eucalyptu
would require more water than dozen OthC
trees. The most mysterious thing about it
that the accounts say that it will thrive whcl
the annual rainfall is scarcely sufficient to kec
ordinary trees in proper vigor. If this be tru
it must arise from the tree absorbing moistul
from the atmosphere, or striking its roots mo-
deeply into the earth in search of subterraneu
streams. These opposite qualities adapt Il
: eucalyptus to regions where forest trees
" other species do not grow. Its volatile esse
:, sential oil exudes an aromatic fragrance said
= be quite healthful. Unlike other trees of rap
: growth the wood is not soft and spOngy, b
i hard, like OAK and much used in ship buildin
l. 1t is quite heavy, and resists the action of {
and water, and the attacks of most kinds of i
. sects. 1t has been planted and cultivated wi
~ much success in various parts of Eur0L
- northern Africa and California, and seems
~ be exactly what we need in many parts of t
u Atlantic States. The Agricultural Departme
le recommends its introduction generally wht
J, ever it will grow.-I'hdd. North american.
Smyrna times., 1873-05-14
CERTIFICATES:

consider the Lady's Friend Washing Machine so
far superior 10 the Doy that my DO,v Machine laid
aside and is fsr sale at half puCe Rev. DANIEL SILL.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

20 0DHUE's BITTERs, contain the
'LD DR. Goo1n- '~tehle and inyicoratinr
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

A CMcINN ATT Sunday School has address
ed the following unique communication to
Gen. Grant:
Honored and Dear Sir,-Having heard
with deep regret of the awful massacre
of nearly one hundred colorei men
of Colfax, Grant parish, Louisiana. we
pray that you will cause the per
petrators of this bloody crime to be bunted
down to the last man, and that swift iustice
may be dealt out to the murderers OF those
men who were in the discharge of their dntv
in sustaining your government. The blood
Of these men cry out from the ground for sat
righteous government demand il. Done. nv
order Of the Union Baptist Sunday School
April 20, 1878. N'A''''
REV. ]. Il MAeEE, pastor,
Rev. JOSEPH EMERY. Supt., Committee
FOUNTAIN LEWIS, Esq.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
MISCELLANEOUS NOTICES.

To enable nature to throw off that depress.
on caused by nervous affection, administer
SMoLANDER's BUcHU. 1t sustains and fortifies
the nerve structure, and also is the safest and
best medicine for the positive cure of kidney
bladder and glandular diseases, mental and
physical debility, diabetes, gravel, female weak
ness uterine complaints errors of youth, and
general prostration of the nervous system.
apr29-eodfW
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
March 9th, 1873.

March 9th, 1873.
TO MY FRIENDS AND FORMER PATRoNs:- sr.f.
beg to call your attention to the above announce
ment and take pleasure in assuring you that my con-
necticns i'll the Lumber trade are satisfactory Our
business Portland will be in charge of nv brother
Mr. Albert Cole, assisted by MessIs. David Birpie
ions. can assuse you that the firm of Move. Cole
& Benson viii their best endeavos to give sats-
faction to all who may favor them with their patron-
age. 80
aprso1m LEWIS H. COLE,
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

To comprehend a mans life, it is necessary
to know not merely what he does, but also
what he purposely leaves untlone. There is
limit to the work that can be got out of hu-
man brain, and lie is wise man who wastes
noenergy on pursuits for which he isnot fitted;
and he is still wiser who, from the things that
he can do well, chooses and resolutely follows
the best, says Mr.. Gladstone.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

EyOUR Rooms in the House of No. II Boyd street,
II consisting of sitting room, kitchen and two
sleeping rooms, Gas and Sebago water, to small
iaii,;55 = fs-''n children. Apply to
apl9tf n f GERTS
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

The Des Moines Republican says that
'Wirt Skies, esilent partner of Olive Lo-
gan, was once poor printer boy, but by
genius, industry, ard tact became the hus-
band ofa woman who can earn 5000 night
lecturing."
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

The London Times says Theirs is the
greatest finaneier of the age. A lady says
she finds them of great assistance in better
ing her financial condition occasionally, and
that she can cry her husband out of ten
dollar bill almost any damp day.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

Henry Kirsley's last land worst) novel,
"Oakshott Castle draws frcm the Athe-
nmuEa this comment: Nothing can be fur
ther from our wish than to accuse Mr..
Kingsley of insanity; but sober-minded
reader must at least admit that all the char
acters in his book are mad"
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

A Juvenile Truth and Anti-Profane Lam
guage Society has been spontaneously or
ganized by fifty little boys and girls in Chico
pee, Mass. and energetic missionary efforts
are to be inaugurated to spread the much
needed reform throughout the nurseries of
the entire State.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

A German composer has invented new
musical instrument, termed the proyhone.
The sound, which is produced from ignted
small jets of gas, surrounded by glass tubes,
Is said to bear close resemblance to the tim
bre of the human voice.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

We never heard OF such thing before,
but poor wretch named DeWolf was before
the Police Court of New Haven this week
for stealing an umbrella. eff our courts
have got down to this" asks New Haven
newspaper, "who is safe ?" We had sup
posed that in all communities having re-
spectacle Jurisprudence, umbrellas were re-
garded somewhat in the light fJer9 nature
and as lacking in the elements of personal
property. They are chattel foundlings, so to
speak, and whoever has owned one may say,
"Twas mine, tits his, and may be slave to
thousands" We advise the man who has
been found guilty Of stealing an umbrella in
New Haven to take the case to the Supreme
Court of the United States.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

A little boy in Springfield, after his custom
ary evening prayer, night or two ago, con-
tinued: '.And bless mamma and Jenny, and
uncle Benny" adding, after pause, the ex-
planatory remark, ''his na,no is Hutchinson.
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

STEEL Knives and every description of Table
Ware Plated, or RepIated in the very best man
ner at short notice and at a reasonable price, at
woods New Rooms, q Market Square.
AL feb25-eodtf
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
HEouse Lois on EIrn S;r
Hotel Property for Sale !

IN NORTHBORO MASS.
THE Assabet House, beautifully situated on public
l. square in center of the village on Railroad %
miles from Boston. House is new and of modern
style, and contains 3S rooms dance hall, lizards SC
Large stable, 30 stalls. Will be sold at great bar
gain; owner wishes to retire from business. Apply
70 D. C. PAGE, Northboro, Mass
apr23-ewx
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
Desirable House on Anderson
Street for Sale Cheap.

FEVHE property No. l Anderson st. consisting of
Il story House, containing 18 rooms, ample clos
1856 per annrlm. For particulars call on j. 9
PROCTER 95 Exchange street, or F. o. BAILEY &
CO., Is Exchange street. ap26tf
House Lots on Ekrn Street for Sale.
T OTIS to suit purchasers, on the westerly side of
II Elm Street, between Congress and Cumberland
streets. Apply to VIM. II. Jerris Real Estate Agent
Cahoon Block. next East of City Hall.
April "a, 1878. ap24dt3w
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
W Il TER HOUSE,
Ss2 HANOVER ST, BOSTON
SanfOrd's Improved Refrioaroto--.,..-

rhe three points Of excellence which CLAIM,
lst constant and thorough circulation Of pnre ate a
End; ryness, no dampness mould nor taint: srd aiI
inte mingling of odors purity and active oir n, no
elements OF It's success Call or send for crculars
tween Cross and Cotton sts nesr Leayitt Bnrnhooe oe
g. Co.'S Ice House, Portland, Ne. ie5dtf
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01
THE PRESS.
MORNING. MAY 1, 1878
Gossip and Gieanings.

Gossip and Gieanings.
In Wisconsip a jury never agrees until af-
ter it has consumed a small keg of lager.
Mr.. Curtis being sick, the editors easy
chair of Harper's Magazine is temporarily oc-
cupied by Rev. DR.. Osgood.
Earnest Longfellow, the second son of the
poet, is much commended in Boston for his
growing skill as a landscape painter
An Iowa woman, who owns a coal mine,
says she might have married two men day
for the last two years.
Zone loud yelr' is TO be punished in Balti-
more by fine of five dollars, but one can ut
ter two loud yells for seven dollars. The lib
eral discount will make double yells the most
popular.
There saw exc the fresh hawthorn,
In white motley, that swote doeth smell;
Ash, tr and oak, with many young scorn,
And many tree mo than can tell;
And, me before, saw little well
That had his course, as gan behold,
Under an hill, with quicke streames cold:
--fh1ucef
The Portland daily press., 1873-05-01

ing lady bored with superfuity
osoro,S Y, 3. - recommend the following
:, ,o.,;oa - 9A-. her too numerous
admirers: Keep on - sppiy1 u licAe.s
for fancy fairs and charitable ccSs =, 'aa "oa
offer few to every man who comes
you. The effect win be surprising