The Placer herald., 1873-02-08


else. She remained for Sunday school, aud
escorte The grandmother home.
In the afternoon we sat together on the
broad piazz together, Helen Gorham and
land then asked for the promised expla-
nation; and it was given me, every word chill
ing me to the heart, for it was calmly spoken.
She had loved, and the object had proven
unworthy, had left her. That was the sum
and substance of her story, the detail of
which she related with no betrayal of emo
tion.
could not feel that to be sufficient rea-
son for rejecting my love, however, and |
told her so.
'lt would not" she answered, "were il
not that that affair has left me heartess, in
capable Of returning the love you offer me.
Pray say 10 more. | would not do you the
injustice of accepting your offer, nor of cast
my it aside without telling you my reason.
Now you know it, and must see that it is
impossible for me to do other than | have
done.
cannot describe the effect her words had
upon me, chilling, paining, oh, so deeply
but hushng me most etiec;ually. could
merely thank her for what had, knew, Civ
EN- her pain to relate, and abide by her de-
csion hard as it WAS. Perhaps Tom was
right, after all, and was frozen. No, no ;
whatever the exterior seemed, the internal
fire was consuming me,
Miss Gorham's hand lay upon her dog
head, and the dog seemed very happy. We
sat for some time, saying, until she broke
the silence and said, in voice that was not
wholly calm "May we not be friends stl?'
The dog whined for she had twisted his
ear in the nervous play of her hand about
his head
"Thank you, Miss Gorham," said, "that
of course depends upon yourself; and since
we can be no more than friends, will be
thankful for that much,
There was a tinge of irony in my man
ner, for was not n mood for compromise.
The rest of my visit might have been
pleasant, except that the sunshine had died
out of my life again.
went back to my business, devoted my
self to it more than ever, left society entire
ly, and tried to interest myself in my studies.
Tom was my only companion, and he was
faithful in spite of my petulance, which would
not be restrained sometimes.
Winter came again, and he went into the
circles where had found so much pleasure
the year before. Through him learned that
Helen Gorham was in town, but he delicate
ly reirained from speaking much of her. |
called upon her, feeling Tiny duty as friend
but she was cut, and felt relieved. | met
her in picture gallery. She greeted me cor
daily; | met her with polite Indifference
Yes, was frozen. Was she melting? There
was panied look in her face when passed
with that commonplace greeting.
We met IN that way several times, but as
secluded myself from society saw no more
of her
One day Tom was in my room, and after
a little of his light CHEEKY talk he said:
"Aleck, Miss Gorham is going home next
week; don't you think you ought to call there
before she goes ?"
"Why p asked, in a surprised way.
because unless there is some good rea-
son for it, it is rude not to.
"There is good reason for it," | said,
shortly
Tom said no more, but looked very grave,
and soon left.
thought over what he said. 1t was rude,
certainly. Heaven knows wanted to see
her; hut it was so hard to talk small talk
" til her and smother the love that would al
ways try to speak itself when | was with
her.
The result, however, of my thinking was
that st rted out the next day and called at
the house where she was staying. The wait
ress uskered me into the family sitting room,
where saw Miss Gorham sitting in a large
armchair before the fire. No one else was
there, and she did not rise as | entered. !
saw she was asleep, and would have left the
room at once; but something in her face stop
ped me- 1t was the same beautiful face, but
there was a worn look in it as she slept that
| had not noticed before.
Only moment was allowed to look at
her, for she opened her eyes and seeing me
the blood mounted so quickly to her face that
turned too look for "a chair to enable her to
recover from her natural embarrassment.
After apoogizng for my intrusion, and a
few commonplace remarks had passed be-
tween us, felt very awkward indeed, and
thought of the proprety of bringing my call
to close, when she said
81 am afraid wounded you SO deeply
that you find it irksome to he my friend, and
yet feel bound to appear SO because asked
it. But"
81 do find it irksome," ! said, passion
atey, "worse than irksome. If we are TO
he only friends, it must be as friends apart.
Every time | see or speak to you am un-
fitted for all my duties. But pardon ne, !
forgot myself"
She had brushed tears from her eyes and
her hand trembled. had given her pain
again, brute that was. Rising to leave
the room, said: cit is useless for us to
keep up the f,rce of friendship. | cannot
speak without wouuding you. Let me say
goodbye, and then you may forget me.
She held out her ha d to me.
''Do not leave me in anger, Alexander;
we must be friends, even if you persist in