The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-09-03
SCRAPS.

TO OOrfOW uFc uoio1S VI Ai"'
A circuit court-The longest
way home from the singing.school'
An Ohio reporter, desperate for
an item, has given the world the
avoirdupois Of the Grand Jury.
Why is a young man like the
national currency? Because he Isl
legal tender, aud somewhat green
Gravity is no more evidence OF
wisdom than paper collar is OF a
linen shirt.
The one exclusive sign of a thor
ough knowledge is the power OF
teaching.-Aristotle.
True freedom consists in COM
plete subjection to the perfect will.
-Frederic r. Martin.
Always do as the sun does-iook
at the bright side Of everything;
it is lust as cheap and three times
as good for digestion.
The triumph of wit is to make
your good nature eubdue your cen
sure to be quick in seeing faults,
and slow in exposing them:
A young man from Macon says
there is no cholera there, but pleu-
ty of mothers-in-law, which is just
as bad.
A western woman advertising
for her runaway husband, says:
"David has a scar on his nose
where I scratched it."
eAn obituary notice in a New
England paper concludes with tht
information that the deceased
leaves two infant daughters, both
girls.
Why are printers bills, these
times, like faith? Because they
are the substance of things hoped
for, the evidence Of things not
seen.
s.Mamma, do you know what
the.largest specimens Of ants arer
You shake your head. "Well I'll
tell you. They're L Fants.'
Now put your bait on the treach-
erous hook, and cast III the shad y
brook, for when the sunfsh see it
sqiurm, he'll surely go for that
angle worm.
The editor of the Kankakee
Gazette thinks fishing as a
general rule, don't pay. "We
stood it all day in the river last
week. he says, "but caught moth
ing-until we got home"
A man out West, after hearing
the Declaration of Independence
read, on the 4th Of July, moved
that the speech be published, as il,
was one of the best he had ever
"heern" in his life.,
A general, at the point of death,
opened his eyes and seeing three
doctors standing by his bedside,
said, family: "Gentlemen, if yo"
fire by platoons it is all over with
me, and Immediately expired.
Itmust be a source of vast conso-
lation to men who are burning to
death in smashed railway car, or
drowning in a wrecked steamship,
to think that the cause of their mis-
cry will be tboroughly-inyesti-
Gated. "a
Most certain it is that we shall
have no return of our prayers from
heaven, whom We confess and beg
the pardon of our sin, unless we
do make restitution where we have
wronged our brother. 1t cannot
he thought we have repcpted it we
do not restore,
A Danbury gentleman Of sixty
wears writes his letters with q lead
pencil, and then carefully applies d
blotter before doing them up. He
says nobody, unless he has used
sand, can understand how handy
blotters are.
A sentimental editor says. 1t is
consoling to know that one eye
watches fondly for our coming,
and looks brighter when we come"
A contemporary is grieved to learn
that his "brother of the quill has a
wife with only one eye"
A Colorado spring has such ex,
traordinary virtues that the thin
nest women, after drinking its
water for a few months, have no
further occasion for padding Of
any sort. It is known as the anti
cotton hustle spring.
The gentleman who asserted that
his friend never opened his mouth
without putting bis foot in it, be-
ing called upon to apologize, said
he was very sorry; but when he
made the assertion he did not see
the size Of his friends foot,
That was a remarkable feat on
the part of the hen that in conse.
auence of being near sighted ate
saw dust for corn meal, and laid al
loot E,1l nf hnreau knobs sat On