Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1873-02-27
The Course of True Love Seldom
Runs Smooth.


Runs Smooth.
That the course of true love does
not always run smooth is sometime!
verified, even in st. Louis. For some
reason (propably the action of atmos
pherical irigidity upon the cutiolel the
Winter season has been set apart a;
the favorite time Of year for the happy
consummation of Gloves young
dream" and the advent of Jack Frost
usually inauglrates the forming OF
matrimonial alliances both offensive
and defensive, for the discontinue ot
icy sheets and cold pedal extremities
Married men always appear to the
best advantage during the cold wealth
er, they look so warm and comfort
able, and single ones probably "take
note" and are anxious to profit by
their example.
Some such thoughts must recently
have entered the head oflittle Charley
c., who valiantly wields yard
stick in behalf Of a prominent Fourth
street dry goods establishment, and
whose seductive smile is supposed
(by himself) to have quite cannibal
effect upon the hearts of his fair Gus
toners. Charley, who is Beau
Brummel in dress and thinks himself
Don Juan No. 2, recently fell in love,
over the counter, with beautiful
blonde, who, to add to her other at
ractions, was an heiress Ito beg single.
Not thousand miles from Lucas
place resides widow lady, unencum-
bered with children, land quite comfort
ably situated in regard to this worlds
goods. She moves in the very best
Of society in that wealthy and aristo-
cratic neighborhood, and with her,
her niece, Clara, the beautiful blonde,
with whom our friend Charley became
enamored.
But the old lady having higher as
pirations than "Clark's best spool.
thread 500 yards" artilleryman for
her niece, peremptorily forbade that
young .ady's holding intercourse with
Charley.
As Clara is depended upon her aunt,
she, of course, appeared to acquiesce
in these ambitious designs, but at the
same time registered a vow to her
looking-g glass that no man in the
world should ever supplant the dapper
yard-stick man in her heart. As it
would not answer to offend herwealthy
relative, however, the young couple
indulged in clandestine meetings;
sometimes at the house of a mutual
friend on Pine street, and sometimes
(when the old lady was attending
prayer meeting) at Clara's home. They
swore eternal love on these occasions
vowed that prosecutions should never
separate them, and that, should the
worst come to the worst, crust OF
bread, a brown stone pitcher with
handles on both sides, like they have
at Ben De Bar's) filled with crystal
fluid from the bubbling spring, and
a dry goods box on end somewhere
in the vicinity of Kirkwood, would be
transmogrifed into palace Of peace
and plenty, sacred forever to their un-
drying love.
One afternoon, recently, Charley
received note from his Clara, stating
that her relative would that evening
attend prayer meeting.
The intimation was enough, and s
o'clock saw the young couple seated
upon the sofa in her aunts library,
billing and cooling in the regular Or
thodox, turtle dove style. Little
Charley, lured by the witcheries of
love, become perfectly ''immense
He wound an arm about her waist and
vowed her form was "sylph-like. He
toyed with her long golden ringlets,
and likened them to "truant sun
beams" witha few other remarks to
the effect that heavens dearest gift to
her sex was ga wealth of golden hair.
Then when she blushed he swore the
roses had been robbed, and when she
smiled that her lips were ruby portals
to a casket of pearls (By "casket"
he probably referred to that orifce
in the human countenance usually
termed the mouth, and the "pea'ls'
spoken of were undoubtedly the teeth.)
Indeed he talked so nice, and she
fed upon his glowing words with such
a relish, that the old lady was rafting
away at the door-bell as though the
house next door was on fire full five
minutes before the absorbed lovers
heard her.
"Great heavens my aunt!" exclaim-
ed Clara.
Charley grew a trihe pale, and NUT
tered an interjection or two pertain
ing to the front of a mill-pond.
1t appears the oldlady having reach
ed the place of prayer found the meet
ing epizootic'd or postponed, and con-
after some little chat with
neighbor or two, had returned home
at this most important moment.
What was to be done? Not a clos
ct or nook invited retreat, and there
Charley stood and wished he was
mileage or stationary bill, so that he
could pass the house, OF a member of
The Louisiana Legislature, or some
other feature Of modern civilization.
At last a brilliant idea occurred to
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