Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-06-28
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

THE Italian sardine is fast giving way
to the American "shadine."
A LIFE insurance company for women
is in process of organization in st. Louis
COOP potatoes and corn have their eyes
and ears about them.
"THE good die young" especially dur.
ing the season of green fruit.
THE Vienna Exposition is now called
the vienna Exposure" Expositions
are played out.
No objection can possibly be made to
receiving an epileptic patient at a hospital
because he is in a fit state of health.
The Mexican Minister is of opinion that
no trouble will ensue from the Mckenzie
raid into Mexico.
ONE of the Danbury mans clergymen
announces the marriage fee at So; chill
dren half price.
GRASSHOPPER shOrtcakes and potato
bug pies are plenty in the Chinese restau-
rants at San Francisco.
STOCKINGS with red spots are to be
worn with low shoes this summer, so that
mosquito bites won't show.
THE Wonan's Journal has captured a
Massachusetts girl who walked forty
miles in two days to attend circus.
The cOlored farmers of Shelby County.
Ienn:, nave organized an agricultural as
ISOLATION of their own.
CHESTER County, Pa, last week adj
mltted to probate last will and testament
written on slate.
A FIRE in Columbus, Ca, was recently
extinguished by the spontaneous fizzical
exertion of five dozen of champagne.
The Herald, having correspondents all
over the "five quarters of the globe" is
now looking out for sixth quarter.
A CAIRO pound-keeper has resigned
because the common council made fuss
about his writing :" Hon." before his
name.
SAYS minister, at marriage, to far
mer: Our joint occupations represent
the chief excellence of life. /"You til, L
tie" (Utility.)
A SMALL bird, somewhat resembling
the sparrow, is eating up the devastating
grasshopper in Texas, and the farmers
are happy.
THERE is more Milwaukee beer sold in
New York in a month. than the Mil
waukee brewers can brew in year. The
days of miracles are not yet past.
The one of several competitors who
eats the largest meal next week at Attain
tic, Ia. is to win the proud title of cham
pion of the State.
The Danbury Nevs man has observed
that when a man has trouble he takes to
drink, but when woman meets with
misfortune she merely goes over to her
mothers and takes tea. .ss 49,
Young ladies who are disguised with
IL IL al ~
fess to be, are reminded that there are
three hundred nunneries in the United
States. .tr ..+e
THERE is young girl in Brooklyn, N.
Y, who for long time has supposed
herself to be dying of love, but council
of eminent physicians called lately pro-
nouncei it to be dyspepsia.
A SCOTCH missionary, In speaking of
cannibalism, solemnly declares that for
his own part he would rather go hun
CRY for two days than eat an old personal
friend"
AN honest lover in Massachusetts, has
given to his prospective father-in-law
load of wood to replace that consumed
during his evening sparkling visits last
winter. EH.FE
A VERMONT school-teacher has struck
the thing at last. He makes unruly boys
turn grindstone one thousand times,
while another boy bears on with stick
of wood.
WHY is blind mans buff like sympa-
thy? Because it's feller feeling for
Teller crittur Another teller says the
same would apply to the tow-headed boy
who scratches his head.
THREE New Hampshire brothers re-
Gently married mother, a daughter, and
a granddaughter. and 1t was the oldest
of the brothers that married the grand
daughter.
DETROIT holds up, for admiration and
imitation boy eleven years old who can
keep so still that even the doctor can't
tell whether he's alive or not.
PITTsBURG merchants have combined
to test the validity Of the city ordinance
forbidding them to extend their signs
over the sidewalk; which they contend
is signy qua non to attract custom.
"GIvE boy address and accomplish
ments, and YOU give him the mastery of
palaces and fortunes wherever he goes.
He has not the trouble of earning or own
ing them; they solicit him to enter and
possess. "-Emerson.
So many marriages have taken place of
late in the senior class of the college at
Utica, N. Y. that careful parents and
guardians are doubtful of the wisdom of
sending their darlings to institutions
where education is mixed.
AFRENCH lady, on her arrival in this
country, was careful to eat only such dishes
as she was acquainted with; and being
pressed to partake of a dish new to her,
she politely replied: mo, 4 thank you
eat only my acquaintance"
SWELL, always make it rule to tell
my wife everything that happens" said
Browning. "Oh, my dear fellow, that's
nothing ~ said Smithwig, 81 tell my wife
lots of things that never happen at ALL"
THE shoe heel is hereafter to be made
upon the idea of. common COM
fort. Paris makes the move, and of
course the fashionable world will follow.
The heel will be low, and made as near as
possible like the natural.
ELEGANT simplicity" receives fresh
illustration in the case of the Cincinnati
school miss who, wishing to discourage
extravaganza in dress among her poorer
cob - alx<A ~