The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1873-01-03

| lIllS Slue now. ana you tell ule tiieTc II
room for eleven more"
Says he. :" mean there Is room for
one more"
Says |, "Well, why III thunder didn't
you say SC ? one isn't eleven"
| He smiled with such an expression
of entire woe, that the driver shouted
whoa to his horses.
had just one more controversy IN
that car. II was with man Who
looked as if he had swallowed an en-
tire Sunday school class, and the straw
hat of the last scholar had strnck IN
his mouth. His cheeks putfet out so
that if a pin had been stuck through
them the hole would have whistled.
This man insisted that there was al
ways three feet to yard. told him
~ had seen a yard with over a hun
tlred feet to it,.
Says he, "What kind of a yard 2"
Says |, "A cattle yard"
Says he, "Oh'"
Says |, What2"
Says he, u owe you one."
Says |, "Oh :"
This is the time Of the year to dig
umbrellas, plant parasolS, and milk
cocoanntS.
THE ROY WHO WENT SWIMMING.
The very boy. you have heard about.
who disobeyed his father and went a
swimming. lives in Richmond. His
father said to the wicked boy, said,
You've been a-swimming." The
wicked boy said, II hain't." The pa
said, "You have, sir. and you've got
your shirt on t'otler side out.
"Pshaw,' said the wicked boy that
shirt got turned wrong side out getting
over the fence
| had the horse disease. | was aw-
ful hoarse. adopted mild treatment.
l bathed the inside of my thorax with
hot Jamaica rum, with plenty OF sugar,
and between drinks took brandy and
water-not too much water. / gave
my bay horse bay rim, and my chest
nut horse fed on warm chestnuts,
hoisting their hind feet from the
ground with pulleys attached to their
tails. | found this was not comfort
able position for them to sleep in. but
it made the medicine go to the head,
the seat of the disease. The treatment
was success. They both died. There
are trotters here called bog trotters.
Whiskey is the best medicine for them.
TALK WITH A SAVAN.
l conversed In Richmond with a
sayan, a real sayan, one of the kind
Savannah was named after. lie saw
things witha prophetic eye. lie could
see clear ahead, and he told me what
this country was coming to. Says he:
"A hundred years from now the
Anglo-Saxon and the Celt will be all
swallowed up by the influx, and this
vast continent north Of the Rocky
Mountains will be Teutonic. and 1t will
be against the law togo to church Sun
day and to drink water. All that vast
section Of country, from the Rocky
Mountains to the Pacific, will be
Asiatic, and fire-Uracker factories and
chop sticks will be more numerous
than the blades Of grass upon the sea
shore. The tidal wave has already
commenced that Is sweeping the sur
plus of 400. 600, 600 of John Cinnamon
70 our shores, and it can't be stopped
Says |, When will this bey"
Says he, /" In a hundred years"
=" Well" says |, "let 'em come
III be over age then, too old to vote.
Then | wrote home to my wife to have
our grand daughter set her cap for a
Dutchman, or Chinaman, so as to be
somebody.
To-day man drove a cow with q
fringed tail through the streets Of Rich
moild. He spent a fortune making
machine to do up the ruffies OH the
bosom Of the ocean. 1t was u success,
but 1t took so much starch it burst him.
SAD EFFECTS OF ONE GoAT's MILK.
The most singular thing to be seen
in Richmond Is a nicely-drcssed man
who every post he sees he butts with
bis bead. called him one hundred
and fifty pounds or butter" but lie
didn't like 1t. Every few rods---it
makes no difference whether he Is on
top Of hay wagon on on q canal boat
he stops and turns 4 somersaglt. 1t
was 50 queer that | took some pains to
inquire Into the anteccdents Of that
man, and It appears that when q child
be was reared on one goats milk, and
one day that goat got astiay and ate |
up two circus bills. The circns bills |
made different quality Of milk from
grass, and the little boy drank II and |
turned into a circus.
SaysI, "Well, but circuscs don't
bltt. y
Says lie, But goats butt."
All the champagne In this section is !