The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1873-11-15
NOx AmbrOsiana OF q POrtlander in
New York.

well KNOWN leSaI gentleman, or notable
sobrety of demeanor at home, has been to New
York. The following abstract from a private
letter indicates that he is more familiar with
the devious ways Of the law than with New
York streets. We suppress his name out of
consideration for the feelings Of his wife and
will call him Quilp Wequote:
Mr.. Quilp reported himself to me yesterday
noon He found the place in Sc hours after his
arrival. His experiences previous to that
time are rich enough to form q chapter in
Mark Twan's next edition of "Roughing It,"
He went to Booths Theater Tuesday evening
to seas friend of mine aptly expresses it,
"Richelieu play Booth" You know tn 1t thea
ter is on the same block as the Fifth Avenue
Hotel only on the furthermost opposite corner
of 9th Avenue aud 23d street. Mr. Qlilp
reached the theater by the obviously direct
course, but on leaving it he made his exit by
the 9th Avenue doorway instead of 23d street,
where he entered Neglecting to turn the cor
| ner, he passed straight on in northery direc-
ton, and walked a couple of miles or more,
resting his limbs and quenching his thirst Gu
the way by sundry and copous draughts of
lager beer procured at the wavside saloons.
When be reached the vicinity of Murray Hill,
the thought occurred to hint is astonishing
how thoughtful your lost pedestrian will be
come--to look at the street sign on the lamp
post. He did SO and, discovering that he was
on 9th Avenue, his mathematical genus PROV
ed equal to mprehendng that 9th was par
alel with 9th and that he must take a turn
But unfortunately he turned westward instead
of eastward and did not find out his mistake
until he took another glance at another lamp
post, which revealed the fact that be had come
to 10th Avenue and was rapidly approaching
watery grave in the waves of the North river
A pause for reflection suffered to satisfy him
that he was going the wrong way, for a, ne
started from 9th to get at 9Th it was perfectly
cinar n har,,
multiplcatons of his first error of reckoning
By this time the hour was very late, the streets
dark, it was raining violently and the lager
beer saloons no longer offered their friendly
shelter to the distressed wauderer. Naturally
they couldn't afford to keep open for the ac-
COMMUNICATION of one man, and Qlilp was APP
parently the only person in that section of the
city still unsbeltered from the pitiless storm,
not even excepting the policeman, who had
Sought and found long before suitable place
of repoSe.
The situation would have been appalling
to any but naturally great mind inspired by
courage and lager. But Quiip proved equal to
the emergency. He boldly retraced his steps.
and walked that seemingly interminable dis
lance from 10th Avenue clear over to the 9Th
This brought him out at the new Cathedral at
Goth street, and still ,me miles from his desti-
nation even if he had taken the right road
But hr evil genius (poetry for lager) tempted
him to turn northward, and after walking
niue DiUchS ne reached lne grand entrance to
Central Park. This he mistook for Madison
Avcrue and accordingly struck out with ready
assurance to walk through 1t, remembering
that the Fifth Avenue Hotel lay on the west
side of it.
But he had not proceeded more than a mile
before the thought occurred TO him that Madi-
son Park could not possibly cover so large an
area unless it had nsmiracuously increased
since morning. The conclusion was forced up
on hlm that he was wrong again in his latitude
but by this time no friendly hand was stretch
ed out from any quarter to afford him rescue
Daylight, though gradually growing nearer.
still obstinately refrained from coming 10 his
relief. The ram poured down with remorse-
less fury; hut there was nothing for it but 4
right bout. face. After wandering through the
mazes of the Park for some time, he luckily
struck the gateway at Sth Avenue, and was de-
lighted 10 know that he was outside of the
park and on 18th street. Carefully feeling his
way along, he made for 9TH Avenue once m re
and then proceeded to his hotel, arriving at 3.5t
a, m, tired. drenched to the skin. dispirited,
disguised, discouraged aud homesick.
Last evening MIR. aud myself stood
watch and watch over him. We detected no
signs of alteration until we left the Opera
House, when an unmistakaDle tendency was
observable on his part to make for the East
River with leaning to wards Long Island.
BY judicious management we restrained these
itlnerant propensltles. keeping resolutely cleaI
of all lager beer saloons. The gratifying le-
suit was that he retired to bed at 10 a happi
er and a soberer man.
Qulp now insists that those Judges, who de.
cided that lager beer was not an intoxicating
liquor, had never had suitable facilities for OBJ
servatiOn.