Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1873-01-22


ever been used, or would have been
applied for by marine engineer.
The amount Of misapplied talent
engaged on inventions that can never
be used is as wonderful as it is prolific,
There is q ludicrous element in many
of the patents, and more of the appli-
cations, which is well worth investi-
gaticn and We extract, from tho re
cords of the Patent Office, an account
of some of these, that show moro GO
MUS than common sense, and have
produced more laughter than profit.
In 1870 the owner Of certain bee-
hives, irrilated by tho loss Of his honey
BY the bee moth, asked for patent
for q combined hen-roost and bee
hive. He had noticed that the bee
moth travels at night, while the busy
bee works by ,luy.. Ills deslrfs it,vrer
foro, was for a device that should ad-
nit the worker by day, and keep out
the thief by night. This his ingenui-
ty effected by the erection of q hen
roost pivoted upon bee hive provid-
cd with gates. The bees were expect
ed to be in their cells just before dusk;
the hens, lighting on their roosts, werc
then TO close the gates of the hive,
and keep them shut all night. The
early rising OF the fowls would auto
matically open the gates again, and
return the bees-thcir honey all safe
to the airs Of heaven and the flowers
of earth. He received his patent
Another applicant asked for pat
ent-right for an artificial moon, that
should light each town that used il
without expense His eye had often
been struck by the reflection OF dis
tant windows at sunset, and how far
that light Travelled. He therefore pro
posed balloon for each town, sufli.
GENTLY large to raise huge reflector
that was TO bo hoisted every evening
at dusk [S5out the timo the hens had
shut in tho bees) The reflections OF
the suns rays, cast downward upon
the village, was sure to light it through
all tho darkness Of night. Fortunate
ly for himself, this inventor presented
his application through patent at
torney, who told him it was doubtful
il it could be obtained.
In the fall of 1871, gentleman,
probably from California, applied for
and received a patent for building
houses on wheels or rollers, 80 that, in
case of earthquakes, they might roll
forward or backward, but not be shak-
en- to pieces.
Only three years have passed away
since very ingenious gentleman from
the rural districts applied for a patent
TO prevent cows from switching. their
tails He presented two modes--one
shaped like bottle, around tho neck
OF which tho cows tail was to be
curlcd; the other consisted of q square
block, with hole through tho center,
wherein the tail was to be put, and
then tied in knot, SO that the animal
conld not withdraw it. On the pre-
sontation Of tho enpplication, the official
, examiner thought it could not be
granted, because Of similar device
in "Don Quixotc," where Sancho
Panza, trying to sleep in hay-loit,
was kept awake by the braying OF
his donkey below. His wakcfhlness
I gave Sancho time to reflect that, when
riding the donkey, the animal always
switched his tail when hc brayed.--
Descending hastily from the hay-lofti
I the squire tied block 10 the donkey't
tail TO prevent him from braying. -
But as this device originated with q
Spaniard, and had never been repeat
ed in this country, the Office decided
D to grant the patent. Oar readers
will, therefore, remember that they
cannot tie cows tail TO prevent III
switching without payment Of royalty
to the owner of this privilege.
: If "Don Quixote' anticipated on'
of our American patents, Coleridgei
: "Ancicnt Mariner" performed the SAINT
;, office for another, when he says:
"Tho air Is cut away before,
And closes from behind"
u Noticing how vessels aro delayed by
" the necessity of pushlng aside tht
i water that obstructs their way, an in
II genious gentleman asked for a paten
y for putting in front of the vessel {
y series of hollow wheels, whose blade
r should act us paddles. These wheel
y would lift tho water so speedily ou
/ of tho way that the vessel would hav'
y to rush in to Gil the void This mo
, tion of the vessel would give th
~ wheels another turn, and then th
J. wheels would once more lift away tn
J. water, and thus draw tho vessel on
n And so the motion of the vessel woul
o turn the wheels, and The turn of th
Q wheels would draw the vessel. Thi
q applicant for perpetual motion was s.
q certain of success that, TO provide 10
q the only difficulty be could forcsec-
$, which was in the too rapid motion Q
Z the vessel, that would tear itself I
'r pieccs-ho provided an anchor, wit
y a anrinr cable to &. that hn nigh
"a check tho vessel from its too rapI
:. speed. The examiner, howevcr,migl
ID have given his decision in the neS
IS verse of the "Ancient Mariner:
"Fly, brother, n.y. more high, moro high,
l. Or we shall be bolatodi
ne For slow and slow that ship shall 60,
20 Till the mariners trance is abated'
N An applicant for a patent for Woo
y. on pavements proposed to mount cae
ooe block OF wood on springs. lilo CLAIM
4 ed that this would remove all jar
ID riding, and obviato the necessity
,ll springs on carriages.
~ Another gentleman applied for
ts patont for heating canals by stcar
st 80 that boating could so on in win;'
as well as in summer, The Office d
% cidcd that this invention was worth
es Of protection, and gave him bis paten
#. Another applied for a combinatiC
m of clock and bed, SO ingeniously Co
cr irivcd that, when the clock struck, u
nd bottom Of the bed dropped out. j
N. claimed that this plan would probab
iv awaken tho slecpcrs.
m. Speaking Of combinations, he mu