The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-07-29
Sense and No,1st,,se,

Sfrse ana cWnQSefiSe.
Rather contradictory-Gay's grave,
weight for the wagon sang the
fat lady.
Spots on the sun-Freckles Oh yout
boy facs.
A woman who tells fortunes from a
tea cup is saueeress.
People who are always wanting some
thing new, should try neuralgia.
A Lancaster, Pa, undertaken adver-
tises: Get your holiday cotfins Of j..
Waterhouse."
Coleridge said that federation was I'M
lppssible till indifference made It worth
less.
1t is said that the world owes every
man a living, but great many men are
too lazy to collect it.
"Loye," says an amorous writer, ~
an internal transport" The same
might be said of canal boat.
A Kentucky man has named bis six-
teenth child, recently born to him,
Omega, hoping it viii be the last.
What was the proverb that King Lear
heard from the lips Of his two daugh-
ters Go father and fare worse.
"Where are the men Of '76?" shout
ed a stump porator. "Dead," " responded
sad-looking man in the middle aisle.
A Scranton household is enjoying an
era of peace. The lady Of the house
put her tongue to a fat-iron to see il il
was hot.
When Shakespcare's mother wished
him to confess theft, what distinguish
ed character did she hold up before
him 9--William Tell. ,.
The London papers not having any
revolutionary heroes to fall back on are
hunting out old soldiers who fought
with Sir John Moore of Corunna.
The old gentleman who put his pos
tai card in stamped envelopeis match
ed by an Omaha man who has his mon
ey orders sent by registered letter.
A Bangor clergyman fell afoul Of the
summer bonnets, which, with great fe-
1lieity of expression, he calls .sincom.
prehensible huddles Of finery and friv-
olity." 63at3 Yd8a1s
i 1t is remarkable fact that the mo-
ment woman writes letter she is
frantic to put it in the post-oflice, al
though she may have been putting of
the writing for six months. baga
! A young fool at Terre Haute put a
pistol to his head and pulled tue trigger
Ito prove that it was not loaded The
head was not but the pistol was, and the
youth was gathered to his fathers.
| You can drink soda, iron, iodine,
magnesia, lime, potassia. alulnina and
sulphur from the natural springs of CAL
Iifornia, but the natives prefer whisky
and care not for natures crystal draft.
In recent article on a fair in his 10
cality, the editor of a Western paper
SAYS brother editor took a. valuable
premium, but an unkind policeman made
{ him put it right back where he took it
. from. '''
: 1t is suggested that persons who go
about with their Cashmere shawls turn
: ed inside out 10 show that they are gen.
uine, should adopt the custom of walk.
, ling on their heads, to show that their
boots are soled. ,ssgsT -,
Boston ladies put on clean stockings
when they have their photographs Ia
ken. A philosopher is trying to study
out the reason. But the most interest.
t ing point Of inquiry is, how did the re
9 porter learn the factH p
l To the telegraphic announcement OF
railroad accident near to Schenectady,
recently, in which one man was killed
and several wounded, Is added this i'm
portant statement: "Thc express train
was delayed only one hour" aoa
i A Portland man, caught fishing for
trout on another mans land the other
{ day, completely silenced the owner, who
demonstrated. with the majestic answer,
| "Who wants to catch your trout? ]
r am only trying to drown this worm"
A Dutchman and en- Irishman once
met on lonely highway. As they me,
each smiled, thinking he knew the 9TH
er. Pat, on seeing his mistake, remark.
ed, "Faith, an / thought 1t was you, an
S You thoughtit was me, an it's nayther
5 of u.s." te,t - i,.5 ls.ge.i.sj-;issg
e A Memphis girl was married the 9th.
l er day, and Immediately sold her piano,
bought sewing machine, and made her
3 husband, a suit of clothes and herself
two calico dresses, and now fourteen
young men are seeking the hand Of her
unmarried sister.
. A young man in Peoria sought to Sc
!. cure his sweetheart by strategy; so he
took her out for boat ride and threat
ened to jump overheard into the lake II
she wouldn't marry him. 1t did mol
work. She offered to bet him dollar
that he daren't dive in.
II A woman never realizes her ileccssi.
ties till she attends an auction SALE
They tell of woman in Baltimore who
has provided herself with two hundred
3 pairs of stockings, wooden and cotton.
j She is evidently intending to organize
I a hose company somewhere.
John H. Klippart, one of the State
Fish Commissioners, has received a let
y ter from Spencer F. Baird, United States
, Fish Commissioner, saying that he
S thinks he can furnish, in the course OF
e the coming winter, one hundred thous
I and salmon eggs, to be used in stock
ing the waters Of Ohio.
! A Louisville lawyer missed some
. valuable papers from his office, and the
case to which they related had to bs
postponed. On investigation he found
+ the missing documents doing duty ia
his wife's hustle, her supply Of ifewspa
lpers having run out. There was live
n! ly time in that household just about
8 then. H
fl A young boy at an evening party
e some time ago,fonnd it appropos to use
= the expression <Jordan is hard road
! to travel,' but thinking that to he too
vulgar substituted the following: "Per.
| nm bnlat;no nrooreeston i7s s,edestr ran