Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-11-08
GENERAL BREvITIES.

G'NCN'
IT is a neat fact that the average o.
heavy bank defaulters Tor 1873 is exactly
one week.
YoU can buy up New York City for a
thousand million dollars, if you have il
about you.
A FASHIONABLE young man in Boston
q must have three blue silk night-gowns.
A CHINAMAN took the first premium on
butter at the recent fair at Seattle, Wash
ington territory.
WHEN travelling in Vermont if you meet
stranger it is safe to ask him: Whose
patent churn are you selling?r
NATURALIsTs, after years of investiga-
ton of the anatomy and mOrpholOgy OF
eels, have discovered that they are of no
sex. ..
CAPTAIN JACK left three widows. one
grown daughter, sister, and host of
little children TO regret that the old man
took just Zone drop too much.'
The Illinois courts are reported TO have
already over 5000 divorce cases on their
dockets, with accessiOns of new applica-
tons at the rate OF $4,000 per annum.
THERE is yYung lady love in town who
is so indolent that she does nothing but sit
and hold her hands, and when She gets
tired OF this has a very accommodating
beau who holds them for her.
FROM the demand during the first five
months of their issue, it is estimated that
l5O,OOO,OO postal cards will hereafter he
DE used annually in the United States.
\ DUBUQUE paper thinks that the late,
Dank swindle in that city Will have ten
dency to dissipate, TO a very considerable
extent, the rank smell of Goldfish that has
been impregnating Dubuque atmosphere
for some time past.
THE Buffalo Express has been figuring
on the cost OF living in Washington. and
1t finds that a cOngreSsman's expenses will
vary from $500 TO SlJ0,000 per wear. ac-
cording TO the honorable gentieman's style
and taste.
ACCURACY is desirable. But the editor
who quoted familiar clmp-meeting hymn
as follows:
''Ten thousand thousand Qo, 0OJ, 900 are their
tongues,
But ali their joys are one d."
carried his love of accuracy to excess.
~ IT is suggested that in order to save gen
tlemen the trouble of making inquiries the
Immense door7plates worn by the ladies on
Ntheir belts might be utilized by engraving
thereon the wearer's name, age, residence,
fortune or expectation, and stating wheth-
- AaN.'ib nv VI
OWNERS of threshing machines in Hi
nos which do not have the tumbling-rOd
boxed, cannot sue for threshing done by
tAsiich machine, and are liable for all iniIi-
ries done by such exposed tumbino-rods.
Eighty-three, persons in the State have
been killed'or MANNED for fife BY a neglect
OF the act of March q, 1863. a few more
suits would make this class of accidents
less frequent.
THERE is a farm in Franklin. Me-. where
on, every seventeen years. in the middle of
August, at nine O'Clock in the morning,
the man who mOws drops dead, scythesin
hand. A local paper thinks that five min
utes before nine would be good time TO
go over 10 the house and get drink of
cider. ..t-..t...-
A YOUNG man recently called upon the
prosecuting attorney in San Francisco aud
said he wanted TO obtain divorce from his |
wife, to whom he had been married but |
eight months, giving az reason for want |
ing legal separation that brother of his |
wife was eating him out ofhouse and home. |
Inc officer OF the law regretted his inability |
tointerfere In the matter.
Mrs. SoULE thus related her experience |
IN the Women's Congress: Until | went |
10 the academy was never separated from
my boy playnlates. We studied the same
books In school, took bites out of the same
apple and the same d0ughnut, drank out
OF the same tin dipper at recess, and went |
home under the same umbrella when il
rained. SO long as L went to school with
boys, so long boys were boys to me but
Just so soon as the lines were drawn be-
tween us, began TO romance about them
to make idols!
As We MAKE IT.
We must not hope TO be mowers,
And 10 gather the ripe, gold ears,
Until we frst have been sewers,
Ano watered the burrows with tears.
II Is not just rs we take it
This mystical world OF ours;
Lies field Will yield as we make it.
.'H A harvest of thorn or flowers.
THIS IL the way il is announced by the
Moberly Monitor: We have had a Demo-
cratic gain at our hOuse-a Thompson with
Y. And without any morllizing or
poetizing on this subject, we will say that
he put IN his appearance rs hungry as a
tralnpihg jour printer, and if our delin-
quent subscribers could have heard his
wailings for hash, they would have made
immediately grand consolidated. concen-
trated charge by platoons, companies. bat
talions, regiments and brigades to this
Office to liquidate.
HE Chlnamen in Carson, New, have a
vegetarian doctor shop. Joss Is the
doctor who attends to you for two bits, if
you, for lack of coin. are not prepared to
see DR.. All kee. The way they fix you
Is after this wise: You are laid supine at
the foot off, Joss's" altar, while his Males
tvs druggist, with eyes closed, draws one
slip Of cane from goodly parcel of others
shaken together in deep cup. This is
marked with the number of your pre-
sscr1ptlon, which is prepared in the adjoin-
ihg pharmacy. rr..a ta.
Cora WILSON, a girl of fifteen, died at
Shoreham, VT, after Suffering for n year
from very singular disease, ard one that
was beyond the ken of physicians. She
was completely paralyzed-could not even )
move her little finger-and every particle |,
of her hair even 10 her eyebrows, dropped
OFF, and thick incrustation formed over
the entire body. The scab was white as ;
snow, and would drop off regularly every /,
month, leaving her skin soft and tender. ,
but q new one would form within twenty /,