The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-04-17
Bill Arp on the Rack-He Pleads AL.
dermanic Duties at 2 In the Morning.

BILL ARP, editor of the Rome Com
n'erctat, has been swimming around the
council chambers every night during
the inundation of his city, and here's
what comes of his being out. 1t will ap-
ply to other places as well as Rome:
I" Every night Here it is half-past
one o'clock It's a wonder you come
home at all What-do-you-think-a
weman-is made forP 1 do believe if
robber was to come and carry me off you
wouldn't care a--What is it you say 2
City council business must be attended to?
How do L know you go to the city coun-
ell? Does the city council meet every
night? They don't meet but once week
in New York. But l suppose Rome is
"A more important place. Oh, yes, out
every night. Twelve o'clock-one O'Clock
two O'Clock. Here stay with the chill
dren all alone-lying awake half the night
waiting for you. Couldn't come home
any sooner! Of course you couldn't If
you didn't want to. But know some
thing you think Idon't, but do. That l
do. wish 1 didn't. Where were you
Monday night? Tell me that. The mar
shal told me that the city council didn't
meet that night. Now what have you got
to say? Couldn't get quorum! Well,
| if you couldn't, why didn't you come
home? Out every night-hunting for
|
for me this late if | was missing. Where
were you Thursday night and Friday
night? There was a show in town, wasn't
there? What did you buy that bottle of
hair oil fer and hide it? Oil for your
hone, indeed Who ever heard of hair
oil for a milestone! So you think
didn't see you in the other room brush
ing and greasing your hair and looking
in the glass at your pretty self? A man
ought to be decent. He ought, ought he!
Yes, indeed, a man ought to, and de-
cent man will stay at home with his
wife sometimes and not be out e-v-
cry night. How comes it that the city
council didn't meet but twice month last
year? Trying to work it out of debt. i Ies,
that's le-very-laughing and jok-
ing, and smoking and swapping lies will
work debt off, won'tit? Now-I-wan't
Observation-Disclosures
are -to-keep-up p-this-night-
business? Yes, l want to know. Out
every night. City council, FreemasOns,
shows, hair oil-and brush, and brush, and
brush until you've nearly worn out the
brush and your head too. What is it you
say? 1t helps your business to keep up
your social relation? All, indeed! You've
| got relations here at home, sir. They need
keeping up some l should think. What
did you say about catching it the other
night at whist party ?-Fellows, its ii
O'Clock, but let's play while longer-we
won't catch it any worse when we get
home. A pretty speech for decent
man to make. Catch it! Catch it! Well,
| intend you shall catch it-a little. What's
that you say? If / wouldn't fret you SO
you would stay at home more Well, sir,
do you stay at home firsta few nights and
try it. Perhaps the fretting would stop.
Ont every night because 1 fret you so.
What's that sir? You know ladies who
amt always Scolding their husbands
Y on do. do you? How come you to know
them? What business have you to know
them? What right have you to know
whether other women fret or not? That's
always the way. You men think all other
women are saints but your wives, oh, yes
-saints-s-a-i-n-t-s. I'll have you to
know, sir, that there isn't woman IN
this town that's more of saint than l am
1 know them all sir-a heap better than
you do. You only see the sugar and
honey side of them, and they-only-see
ar-side-of-you. Now, sir,
just want you to know that if you can't
stay at home more than you do, I'll leave
these children here to get burnt up and
I'll go out every night. When poor
woman gets desperate, why, sir, she is
she is desperate, that's all.'