davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-08-08

dy for early fall trade
Read The JoRO,ci"g and compare nth
figures you are paying etserhere
I lbs Crushed Granulated aud Powdered
Sugar for 81 90;
8 lbs A. White Sugar for 81 90;
Who can sell you prime Porto Rico ST.
gar at l lie. but
L. b. SHEETH2
Who can sell you Prime Rio Co6ce at
PC Jm
L. b. SHEETZ2
Who can sell you COOL Syrup by the
single gallon at 35c, but
L. B. SHEETZl
Who can sell you the best and p,rest
Coal OIL at Soc by the single gallon, Jut
f. Il SlIEETZ?
Who can sell you good Tea at 25c per
quarter, bit
e b. SHEETZ?
Who can sell you every article an the
Grocery line cheaper than any otter mar
ket East Of Boltin, ore
T. q SHEETZY
Who sells La"rel d Cotton at BE, Int
l.. b. SHEETZ?
Who can sell Geory. Uashinton's Warren
As and Oregon Ds. at l2Ac, Jm
L. b. SHEETZ2
REMEMBER, these are gard eide and
Uery heary.
Who sells a splendid yard reide Bleach
ed Cotton at 12ic, Jm
f. i. SHEETZ?
WHO sells you all kinds Of Dry Goods
as cheap as any retail city House.
f. b. SHEETZ2
Who sells you CIarh's Cotton at 6cl
Who sells Pins at 5cs
Who sells Needles at SEP
Z. Is. GHEETZ?
Who keeps the most complete stock Of
Hosiery, G1oyes, ,Sca,fs, Lqce CoJiors
Ties, Fancy Goods anil Notions gcneyoHy
IN Romncy
T.. i. SHEET ?
Who sells you choice Prints, ,carrantcd
fast cotors, at l0c per yord, Jm
Il. y. SHEETZ?
Who sells 20" good style Ginghams ami
fast colors at lac, Jut
Il. b. SHEETZ?
Who sells go" beautiful PercaHs at 18c,
bit
L. B. sHEETz2
Who sells you choice Pigues ot25c, but
Il. j. SHEET@I
Who sells you Beautiful Dress Gools At
25c, Jm
L. b. sHEETz?
Who heeps The best stoch If
BOOTS AND SHOES,
HATS 81 CAPS,
r FAD MADE CLOTHING
Hardware, Queensware,
DRUGS, PAINTS AND OILS, IRON,
NAILS, SA1T FISH
and erery ming that IS coNea Eor anal
selLI them cheaper Than opyJo9y Rise?
L. i. SHEETI ?
Why is Il that T. y. .SHEETZ seVs
everyfhjRg so much cheaper han apgJo9y
else , Iecouse he sells Ior cash.
Why is IL that 4. b. Heetz gets Nep
Goods every month
Because Jy seHiHg Jor Cohhs al,eoys
has n'oHcy 10 Jay ne,c ones uih
Eg Remen,Jer at his date, Nan 8OM.
his Stock has jua been Horouoh1v ylDe,-e9
in all rs departments liz docs not de-
pend WPon Me old Jogie syieD, Of purclas-
ing stuck eUery SIC niepths and ruppiBg
Il at one pyias .tor that tern, no maacr
'ehat changes haze t0Ien place in me Eas-
tern markets.
Gail and see all his Coy yowse1I al tie
old Gibson Corner.
L y. SHEETZ.
Romnry, Nay 30, 1873.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-08-08

lie In recent debate member Of the
California Legislature exclaimed {: The
Honorable gentleman from Caaveras Coun-
ty is undoubtedly person of great abilities,
man of talent, natural born genius !;
but there is one thing | defy him to do,
and that is to bite the bottom of a frying
pan without shutting his nose
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-08-08

sas-AN enraged lawyer wrote Rascal
in his opponents hat, whereupon tho own
er took it up, looked rucfully into it, turn
ed to the Judge and said, 4 claim the pro-
lection of this honorable court, for the OPP
posing counsel has written his name in my
hat, and | have strong suspicious that he
intends TO make off with it,
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-08-08

sa5- 'MoRE bread, landlord. l always
eat good deal of bread with my meat
80 l see, sir, and a good deal Of meat with
your bread.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-08-08
p a N A c e A!

An Alternative and Cathartic. or Tonic and
Purge combined, for diseases arising from bad
blood.
This preparation was established in 1870. and
has now been prepared in ii7uid form for more
than 10 years. In January or February. 1870
another party commenced 10 prepare n similar
article which is inferior 70 the genuine and
which should not be mistaken for ours AK
for "DR. FAHRSEY's Blood CLEANSER on Pty4.
CA and accept no others.
The Trade Mark or label oil the oldest and gen.
aine, is printed in green on a yellow wrapper.
having also the signature Of p. Fahrney, NJ d.,
Chicago.
"Dr. p. FdArneys Hsath Messenq,,r gives
the history and uses Of the Blood CLEAvsER les.
tmonas, and other information, sent free Of
charge. Address
DIR. =. FAHRNEYS BROS. & CO..
WaynssJoro, FranFIin Coun,i,. Pa
Ask for DR. p. gahrney5 Blood Cleanser and
CLEANSE YOUR BLOOD.
Sold by wholesale and retail dealers and by
GlLKESON IL PAITIE.
RomDcy, Hcsf Va
Also, by J. W Baker, Bloomery-Cooucr 4
Horn, CapOn Bridge-Daniel Parish Timber
Ridge, Frederick County, Va.-Garvin & Bro.
High View-Bruce Gibson, Cappn Springs and
Jericho, Hampshire county, West Va. -.
Mcdonald, Capon Bridge-Sydnor Mcdonald
Hanging Rock-COoper Horn Carter, Pleasant
Dale, Hampshire county.
THOS. II. d. ELLIOTT,
Troreiing AgeaL
June 80, 187I-1y.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
That MischieHous Wexford Boy.

Jonas Wickford's little son made a
leap for fame, Saturday, and nearly
landed in eternity. He was in an apple
tree of his fathers, on a branch that
overhung Mr.. O'Clarence's premises
He was standing on the branch, pre-
pairing to jump and catch another branch,
as he had seen a man in the circus do
on the bars, when Mr.. O'Clarence, who
was looking for the eggs of a deceitful
hen, appeared beneath the tree, and got
down on his hands and knees to examine
the grass. The boy says he did not
know Mr. O'Clarence was there, and it
is likely that he did not, as, otherwise,
he would have forborne making any ex-
periments that might bring him within
reach of the dreaded neighbor, who
never can forget that disastrous affair
on the last anniversary of our National
Independence. With all prepared, the
youth made the spring, missed the COW
eted branch by the sixteenth OF an inch,
and came down with q dreadful thud on
the back of Mr.. O'Clarence, tiattening
that gentleman to the earth, drivlngEhIs
nose into the sod, and making every
bone in his body snap like so many pop
ping cOrns. For an instant the mlsera-
BILE man believed that a long series OF
fated disasters had finally eliminated in
a stroke of extra strong hghtnlng-the
next the heel of Master WickfOrd's shoe
ploughing across his neck awakened
him to vague sense of the trouble,
and springing to his feet, and half crazed
with pain and rage, he ran to the out
house for his axe. and securing 1t, re-
turned to murder the youth, but was too
late. The little rascal being too scared
To CRY, or even realize his wounds, had
Immediately scaled the fence on reach
ing his feet, and taken refuge under his
parents roof When Wexford came
home in the evening, Mr.. O'Clarence
started over to see him, and was met by
him at the division gate, when that gen
tleman very pertinently inquired what
in thunder he meant by prowling around
under trees, soaring little boys that were
in their own fathers trees, getting pie
apples for their mothers ?" Mr.. Wick
ford topped off his demand by ANNOUNCE
ing that he desired to live in peace with
everyone, but if people were bound and
determined to be always kicking up a
Robbery of some kind, and crippling
the youth of the land, he should call in
the law and let it's majesty crush the
culprits. Stunned and bewildered by
this reception, Mr. O'Clarence retreated
to his house, where he grappled with an
imaginary assailant, and gave him a
: ferocious beating. -D0nblLry NelUS.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
The Man with the Memorandum.

The Hannibal, CMO. } Courier relates
that a gentleman who resides a few
miles III the country announced his in
tentiOn of coming to the city to get a
few of the necessaries of life. His good
wife, who evidently reads the papers
and knows what is going on, furnished
her "Old man" with the following
memorandum, recognizing the fact that
these men are so stupid and always
forget what they are sent after. But
here is the seasOnable list of necessa-
ries, which, though not in strictly
clerkly form, is nevertheless to the
point, and well calculated to make an
impression on the mind: Get a
pound of tea. And don't forget to go
to Browns drug store and get eight
pounds of coppcras and pint of car
bolic acid. Get dollars worth of loaf
sugar. Bring dozen lemons. If you
have a chance, you had better bring a
bushel of lime. We ought to have
pound of ground mustard and some
ginger. Get gallon of coal oil and a
demijOhn of whisky Be particular and
don't get them mixed-have the coal oil
put in the can and the whisky in the
demijohn. If you see a nice piece of
calico, you might bring me enough for
a wrapper Go to Orynski's and get a
bottle of blackberry syrup. The flour
is out. Be careful and don't drink any
well water while in town. Be sure and
get bottle of Hamlin's cholera cure.
We ought to have half a dozen knives
and forks for the kitchen. Go to Nc
Cleary's and get a bottle of DIR. Nc
Cabe's blackberry brandy. Don't bring
anything green home to make the chill
dren sick. Don't forget the coal oil
and the demijOhn, and be sure to keep
them separate. Go to Cheever's and get
a bottle of syrup of blackberry and GIN
ger. Get pint of cognac brandy. Keep
away from them nasty ponds unless they
are filled up. If you see any good dis
infectant bring some home. Get a few
pounds of crackers and rice, and some
cat meal. If you see the doctor ask
him to give you n prescription to cure
the cholera. Be careful and don't break
the demijOhn. Johnny needs pair of
shoes. You had better call at the drug
stores and see who has got the best
cholera medicine. Now don't forget
any of these things, and keep the list in
your hat where you can find it. Come
home early" About four o'clock yes
terday afternoon the man with the
memorandum might have been seen 60
ing out Broadway with all his horse
could draw, his rockaway resembling
the hospital train of an army corps. If
the cholera ever goes out IN that
direction it will meet with a warm re-
pnutipn
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Fresh DAnherries.
TFrom the Danbury News

NJ rom llt JdllDAIg 4NfNHsl
"A Danbury man woke in the middle
of the night to comment on the extraor-
binary fact that the heaviest end of a
match is its light end.
The flavor of the popular chestnut
worm this season, is said by an epicure
to be cross between custard pie and
a croton bug.
1t is pleasant to remember that not
an hour passes in the increasing march
of time, but that there is a half dressed
man somewhere on earth calling for n
shirt.
The panic has so far abated as to
permit an Essex street man to return to
ten-cent cigars, and he hopes, in another
month, if the brightness continues to
increase, to get his boys boots half
sOled.
"A Bookfield lady, hearing that silk
was preventive of cholera, has guarded
against the dread scouTge by a complete
pattern in the new shade Of green, with
pOlanaise. She doesn't intend to get
sick and be bill of expense to her hus-
band, if a little precaution can pre-
vent it.
"A NEW IdlTubll ClblLtI WAC avian
ened the other night by disturbance
among his hens, and got up to punish
the thieves. His wife got up, too,
as matter of course, and Immediately
fell the whole length of fight of stairs,
which is also not to be wondered at. An
examination revealed the coop intact,
the hens merely waking TO turn over, or
having been troubled with dreams Of an
unpleasant nature. AS the nearest pro-
fame man lived two miles away, the feel
ings of the hen-owner can better be
imagined than described.
"A gentleman who lives in Danbury
recently read an article setting forth the
evil of two persons sleeping together.
He became so impressed with the truth
of the argument, that he proposed TO
his wife that they sleep in separate
| beds, and she acquiesced. The expert
ment was put in practice that night.
! About o'clock in the morning the lady
was awakened by some one stealing
| softly into her bed, and on uttering a
scream, was greatly relieved to find that
| it was her husband. 1t had turned of
cold in the night, and he had concluded
that if he had to die any way, he might
as we'll go off quietly with a nervous at
tack as to be frozen to death in gro
tesque attitude.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Anatomy of the Ennt-

A Swiss philosopher has taken up
subjectwhich has too long been neglect
ed by the manufacturers of boots and
shoes, viz the anatomical necessities
of the foot for better support. Many a
sufferer from cOrns, buniOns, and all the
ills that toes are heir to can trace his
sorrows to a careless and inhuman
bootmaker. 1t is the rarest thing in
the world to get perfectly fitting boot
one which, on first acquaintance, does
not tear the skin off the tender portion
of the.heel, create ulcers upon the in
step, or SO compress the nail of the big
toe as to render disease Il probable re-
suit. In measuring a foot, says a wise
man, the first thing to be considered is
the place of the great toe. Upon this
toe the whole weight of the body turns
at every step in a natural foot. 1t is,
therefore, in a straight line with the
heel. A central line drawn from the
point of the great toe to the middle of
its root would pass exactly to the mid
die of the heel. Very few persons can
boast of a big toe which does not, from
the unskilled making of a stupid boot
maker, or a series of the same, turn in
ward No last or model of a foot so
misshapen should ever be made the ex-
act size Cf such foot. There are many
sufferers, who in their agony have
heaped upon the whole boot-making
fraternity a shower of interjectiOns,
who will hail this addition to the sci
ence of comfort with feelings of Joy and
badness
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14

Marshal Bazaine is now so promi-
nentIy before the public that the fol-
lowing description of his personal APP
pearance from the pen of the Versailles
correspondent of the London Telegraph
will be read with interest a:
''Bazaine may be the rankest traitor
that ever disgraced the soil of France,
but he certainly looks not the part. You
would not take him, probably, for a
man of deep and searching intellect, but
you must own to a mental wrench if you
are to set down that man opposite to
you with the simple martial carriage and
the bold yet not arrogant front, as aught
save a soldier sans Pe1tr ct sans re-
prOchG, save of faults such as the SOL
der may hold his face to without the
shaming or sullying of his cloth. His
forehead is low, but full and well arched
There is hardly a hair left on the round,
bullet-like head the few that still re-
main, short and crisp, have turned gray
almost to whiteness. But his thick
eyebrows, arched over the small dark
eyes, are still black, as are the slight
mustache on the firm-set upper lip
and the tuft upon the full-feshed, mass
i've chin. The contour of the face is a
long, blunt-ended oval. The complexion
is of curious, dusky pallor-as if the
face, actually swarthy, had been busted
over with powder. Occasionally flush
seems to gather on the marble-ike
brow and cheeks
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Death Rate of French MarshaIs.

Let me add that the history of pre-
vious trials of Marshals of France is
not calculated to fatter the hopes of
Bazaine.
The Office of Marshal was instituted
in the reign of Francois l., and since
then five Marsbals have been tried,
found guilty, and all of them executed.
l. Marshal de Retz was hanged and
burned for rebellion and high treason.
2. Marshal de Biron was decapitated
for conspiracy with Spain against his
friend and benefactor, Henri ".
and 4. Marshals de Marcillac and
De Montmorency were sent to the scat
fold for conspiring against the red man,
Richelieu.
5. Marshal Ney was shot by the Bour-
bons, in 1915, for going over to his old
master, Napoleon, on his return from
Elba.
Bazaine is the first French Marshal
charged with not having done his duty
in the face of the enemy.-PariS Cor.
PHILADELPHIA Press.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Wrestling Match-America VS.. England.

An international wrestling match be-
! tween Albert Ellis, of London, England,
and John McMahon, of Rutland, VT,
champions of their respective countries,
came off last week, in New York. Mem
bers of the sporting fraternity from
Philadelphia, Baltimore, Boston, Chi
cago, and other cities were present, and
showed great interest in the match.
McMahon weighed 1872 pounds, while
Ellis turned the beam at 1873. Homer
Lane, ex-champion of America, was
agreed on as referee, Mike Coburn act
ing as umpire for McMahon, while
Robert P. Browning, of Cornwall, En-
gland, officiated for Ellis. McMahon
had the advantage in weight, Ellis in
agility and skill. Lock after lock was
made and broken with the greatest ra-
pidity and dexterity, until finally Nc
MahOn threw Ellis heavily, and claimed
the first fall. A scene of confusion fol-
lowed, the friends of Ellis claiming that
onl y one of Ellis shoulders had touched
the ground. The match at this point
showed evidence of breaking up. The
fall, however, having been acknowledged
by Ellis, the play proceeded, and Nc
Mahon lost the next fall by foul, &C
cidentally given, and promptly acknowl-
edged. Fourteen breaks were then
made, Ellis avoiding falls by turning
while going down, and carrying the
house with him at every display of his
extraordinary quickness in getting
away. At last, by terrible swing
from the left hip, and an inside lock
during the swing, McMahon threw
Ellis heavily on his back, and gained
the third and de iding fall. So the
championship was won by McMahon.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Mark Twain,s Active Journalism.

Buffalo has many "reminiscences of
Mark Twain, and of his remarkable at
tempt at publishing a newspaper on an
entirely new plan. After his return
from the Holy Land (per Quaker City,,
Mark took a wife and purchased the
third interest in the Buffalo Express,
owned by A. NJ Clapp, Public Printer.
They say that Marks style of newspa-
per work was unique. He was not an
early riser, and is as slow of movement
as of speech, consequently he didn't get
to the Office very early in the morning.
And when there his movements were not
characterized by nervous haste. Seat
ing himself in a capacious pivot-chair,
his first move was to deposit his boots
in the waste basket, and replace them
with roomy slippers. Then elevating
his slippered feet to q comfortable
cushion on the exchange papers (their
only legitimate use in his estimation),
it was his wont to lay back in his chair,
swinging himself lazily on his pivot, and
tell stories of wit and wisdom by the
hour to the associate editors. This was
vastly pleasant to all concerned, but
somehow it did not work in the way of
making a newspaper, and at the end of
six weeks Mark came to the conclusion
that publishing a newspaper was not
his forte. He, however, retained his
interest in the Express for about year
and half, though, as aforesaid, he did
not take part in the "active" manage
ment for more than six weeks.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Sad Result of Leaving Soap Lying
Around Loose.

A Danbury woman bought a box OF
soap and took it home. What followed
is thus related by the NeaUs.: Suisse
quently, being engaged in baking, she
lost sight of the affair. In the mean
time, the child looked over the box, and
finding the contents to be unusually at
tract1ve, undertook to eat them, but
failing IN this, used them as blocks for
laying out townships, erecting towers,
and performing a variety of other engi-
neering feats. Pretty soon it fell to
knocking Thorn down with its hand, and
then to kicking them around with its
foot, and when this amusement lost its
attraction, it suddenly set up dread
full howl of agony, and started for the
kitchen. 1t was about this time that
the man of the house, who had been
abed up stairs, came down stairs in
pants and shirt, to get some shaving
water. When within four steps of the
bottom, he stepped on something which
Immediately disappeared with astonish-
ing CELEBRITY, and deposited him on the
floor below without the aid of the other
steps. He got up on his feet at once,
and looked about for the cause of the
accident. 1t was a cake of that soap.
He picked it up, and with won" erful
presence of mind, hurled it through the
glass of the first window. Then he
gathered up the shaving cup and brush,
and went into the room. He went into
it just as any man would who had missed
four steps in coming down stairs and
on another cake just as he was
about to kick the door shut, that leg
shot away so violently as to hurt the
roof of his mouth, and he came down on
one knee, with his head against the bu-
reau. The top of his scalp was some
what bruised, and one drawer was with |
out it's complement of knobs, and he |
had bitten a piece from the tip of his |
tongue, although no one would have |
that last by the flow of con-
versatiOn that followed as he bounded |
to his feet. The appearance of his wife, |
with her face depicting emotions of the |
Ilveliest alarm, was welcomed as prov
dental escape-valve for the wrath boil
ing within him, but he found his rage /
turning to establishment as she suddenly .
her motion, and dashed toward .
him with her head down and uttering a
lysterical scream. As the instinct of
is the lOudest, he i'm
proceeded to move out of the
way of his sliding spouse, when he en-
another cake of soap, and was
twisted completely around, and hurled
leadlong against the center table, and
across her line of march.
What became of her or the center table
n the crash that followed he cannot
ell. He remembers when striking the
able of seeing some twenty-five new
planets, with a pyrotechnic display in
he background, and thinks he must
lave heard a million fire-crackers go off
IndGr q barrel. When he came to, he
vas abed in a darkened room, with two
PERSONS whispering in a corner, and the
If Thoroughly impregnated with flavor
& aston OIL
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Five Persons KILLED by lightning.

The quintuple death-blow given to a
family residing on Swede Greek, last
Tuesday evening, proved incorrect only
as regards the name. 1t was not Au-
gustus Lawton, as stated, but a Mr..
Nolequist. At the time the storm came
up he, with his wife, two children, and
father, were in his new stone house.
The wind disturbed the roof, entirely
removing it, we believe, wien the whole
pss-ty took shelter in the barn. This
was struch " lightning, and the father,
husband, wife, and UWo children were
instantly killed. A span of horses and
COW were also killed. A near neigh
Dor, Charles Lawson, passing from his
house to his barn after the crash, to see
if any damage had been done, observed
fire bursting from NOlequist's barn. On
arriving there he was unable ~ remove
the bodies, which became parity con
/ rrlmed by the flames. The sad catas-
trophe occurred on the south fork OF
the creek, near the Randolph road, and
in a southeast direction from town
about 10 miles.-BLue Rapids (Kd'e.
Times
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-14
Dreams.

AS all who are familiar with the phi
losophy of dreams know, they are not
controlled by time or space. Hundreds
of cases are recorded where persons have
dreamed the events of years in a few
seconds. Indeed, the dream faculty
seems sometimes to possess a miracul-
Gus retroactive effect. There is a case
on record of gentleman who was awak-
ened by the report of a pistol-shOt. In
the instant before awakening he dreamed
that he had enlisted in the army; had
been sent out to India with his regiment !;
had been ill-treated by his superior Off
Ger had deserted had been captured
and sentenced to be shot had suffered ;
and that was the identical shot which
awakened him. The story of the Sultan.
also. is well known, who put his head
into a basin of magic water, withdraw
ing it Immediately; and in that brief
space he lived seven years of life. He
had fought battles had been dethroned,
and was about to be beheaded. Marvel
Gus as this seems, yet it is a simple st4te-
ment of fact that time and space are
conditions of the waking consciousness,
and in no way affect the state of dream
ing.