The Van Buren press., 1873-07-29
budget Of Scissorings.
The squirs's Visitors,
ROe Raral Relati,ss are Tsots,l.a Peoria

HoG RaF0f hesGt!css are k.safe".R soItt
Squire Binks. retired old gentleman,
lives away down en- Seventh street The
other meruinr three old ladies from Ma
con county came to his house on visit
They used to know bis wife before she
wa. married The Squire welcomed
them to his mansion, and then went out
TO the barn and swore for half IN hour,
While he was soothiu. himself thus his
wife called him into the house. She
handed him au umbrella to keep OF the
sun, and said the ladies had left some
things there for him to brlag mp. 50 he
brought them up. making two round
trips for the baskets. band boxes, and
two black oil cloth travelling bags, all OF
which the Squire discourteousIy called
.infsrhal old traps,
Ashe sat in the the back kitchen wiptns
his brow, his wife came cut snd said
there was not q bit OF sugar or tea IN the
house, and she remarked that while he
Was going down town he might get the
molasses Jug flled The Squire asked
her ho. long those migratory old pelI-
cans were going to stay. And she asked
him if he thought she would be so rude
as to ask them The Squire went down
and laid in the groceries When he got
back his wife said she had forgotten
something, and thought of it when it was
lust too late She must have some corn
strch. The Squire asked her if any Of
the old scare crows had dropped the
lsast hint as to the duration OF their Wis
1T. She said not. The Squire looked
sad and discontented
When he laid the paper Of corn starch
on the kitchen table his wife said thoy
must have Goldfish for dinner One Of
the ladies said, in the course of converse.
ton. that she was fond of goldfish. The
Squire asked if the old buzzards had yet
committed themselves as to the extent Of
their roost. She said he had ought. to
be ashamed of himself
When he slapped the Goldfish dewn on
the table With whang, his wife got hi~
90 bring in some water and some wood
said Mrs Spoonauger said she never din.
ed without ale, and the Squire was asked
if he would so down and bring up a bet
tie lie asked il he should 80 into Vic
parlor and get these old oormorauts 90
make cut list of what they did like, aud
furthermore asked if they we're yet silent
AS to when they thought that they would
go away
He got the ale, and for fesr tl.as Uy
would have to 60 dewn town again, De
hired an express wagon and loaded u
with all sorts OF garden truck, bottle OF
whisky. box of sariines, 4 pouRd %
snuff, some cove oysters, dried apples.
beans, smoked tongue eut and dried 10
bacco, picked ws,nuts canned corn,
msckerel, split peas, cabbage, onions, ,cu-
cumbers, etc
The next day the Squire went down
town only eight times
Early theo mex. morning he started in
to the country t0 see man When he
got home be asked his wife if any time
had been set for the departure On the
evening Of the following Monday one Of
the ladies said she thought they ought to
start on the following Friday, so as to
reach home before Sunday. Mrs. Binks
said they oughtn't to be IN a hurry. The
Squire groaned, and said they ought 10
stay and make their visit out On Fri
day morning the Squire had an express
wagon before the door. But his wife
said the ladies had concluded to stay uu.
til after tho Fourth Then the Squire
went ont to saw wood and have a little
conversation with himself.