Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-07
FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DE TIRE.
MEMS & co.

Decn on the ROAD nearly thirty years,
during which time I have managed to
make our house at Rockdale the most
famous in the trade for Welsh fianncls
and railway rugs.
My success, however, with my GUS
toners has not so much depended upon
the goodness or cheapness of the goods
I had to offer as upon my personal
abilities to please all sorts OF people.
l can sing good song, and tell q funny
story. l can drink wine, beer, and
whisky in any reasonable quantities,
without growing dull or drunk. l can
even sit with teetotal customer for
mortal hours, over cup or two of tea,
without swearing, always providing
there is fair chance of line In my
order-sheet.
One day last month was ]ourneying
in my gig from Shrewsbury to Chester;
the day was dull and damp, and a
Scotch mist pervaded creation: the
ledgerows on either side of the road,
the people met or overlook, the COWS
and sheep III the fields, the crows and
sparrows, the houses 1 passed, seemed
utterly miserable, wet through, done
up, and mystitied. 1 have weathered
manv storm, have been wet and dry
again two or three times a day; I have
been split into bitches, pitched into
hedges, and against stone walls; have
been robbed and nobbed by footpads
had I lost the natural buoyancy and
jollity OF my disposition. On the morn
ing Of the day in question, however, 1
felt like all things animate and inani-
mate-to speak commercially, fooled.
Of course had my remedy with me in
my driving box, which soon pressed
into service it was pint flask, full of
the purest Glenlivat. "This is balm
of Gllead for any weather" thought I,
as took my fret dose. My mouth
exactly holds one-eighth of pint.
Hundreds of gallons have travelled
the same way, but I believe ambrosial
nectar could never have been so CRATE
full to thirsty god as that streak of
liquid sunshine was to me. I felt nv
chest expand, and my minds eye could
see my other eyes sparkle with a CLINT
of their usual fire. What cared for
wet withouts The whisky within was
proof against watery PARTICLES, and de-
fed them in any shape; so, taking
another drink to make sure had not
served out short measure on the pre-.
vious occasion, I logged on, sometimes
musiug on my past, sometimes spec.
ulating as to my future, refreshing my
memory and squirting my hopes with
spirits of the Elixir, until in due course
1 arrived ut the Red Dragon, at Ches
ter, full of my usual spirits, and with
an empty flask.
By the time hissing-hot rump steak
was ready for ABSORPTION into my sys-
ten, had duly sent of my dispatches
to our house. Business first, pleasure
afterward; so sat down to my dinner
pint of sherry, then had drop Of
brandy to assist digestion, and then my
usual forty winks.
L considered had fairly got through
the'business of the day, and, Frightening
up, [ called for my pipe and jorum Of
teddy, and, resigning myself to the
soothing influence of the weed and
whiskey, l waited patiently for an ar
rival to spend the evening with; for
was alone in the commercial room. and
the only sounds cognizable to my senses
were those of the rain pelting away at
the window and the hollow rumbling
OF stray vehicles over the paving
stones.
did not count never debut
believe l had arrived at my fifth grog
and pipe, when, feeling chill, I drew
the heavy armchair closer to tho fire
this little act occupied several minutes,
tor tho handy legs of the stupid old
chair would make for themselves q
Place under the heartll-rug. tried To
circumvent the awkward limbs, and tom.
porized with my toe; but the moro ]
kept Oh wanting to get them right, tho
more they kept on not wanting to bt
rightcd, and, being fi,lgcty in all little
matters Of personal comfort. ! was posi-
lively obliged, ut a risk of a rush OF
blood to the head, to lift the club
footed old chair with one hand, and to
lay the refractory corner Of the rug
with tho other.
When, by this effort of cxhaustc,
nature, I had accomplished my object
l took stiff pull ut my roplenishc,l
teddy, filled my pipe and lighted it.
and, with the feelings of man who
had obtained Il victory, threw mysel
into my late e,leny's lap, pinchel hi
mahogany old arms with my elbows
stretched out my feet upon the fender
and laughed outright ut my triumph
with my usual jolly In! ha! till thu
room rang again.
"Ha! ha hal hat" till the room
rang again, followed like IN echo til,
Ha! l"! that originally belonged t.
me.
10 my surprise and delight, I foun,
an arrival had cnsconc,,l himself in til,
f"llow-chair to mine, had his jorum O
toddy Oh the other corner of the lnantcl
hia pipe in full blast. his elbows on th