Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
MARRIED BY TELEGRAPH.

y
MIR LEARY, are you a married man.
sir?''
every, sir"
every, why do you say very9"
because my dear little wife and | are
bound together by wires.'
"Latimer Leary, you talk enigmas."
',Then, sir. to be as plain as printer, |
will inform you that | was married by
telegraph"
you don't say SOP
eyes, [ do"
'Then tell the company all about the
affair."
Il will, with pleasure. Ladies and
gentlemen, my wife is a second cousin,
and was named Leary She once resided
in the city of indianapolis, while | was a
resident of Centreville, in the same State
| was a bachelor Of thirty, and full of
romance and general love. | say general
love, because had not made a cOncentra-
ton
HWhy don't you take wife," was
etemalIy buzzed in my ears
"Whom will [ take?"
Your relative, Kate Leary."
"kate Leary, why she is my own
cousin"
"Only second COUSIN" they would re
tort; land your opposite, Latlmer; Kate
is blonde, and you are dark as Erebus
or the ace of clubs"
| never had seen Miss Leary, but this
continued association of the young lady
with my welded life had an influence.
One day a member of Congress eX-
claimed: Mr.. Leary, were / single
would assuredly pay court to your cousin.
as | am married, and you are my best
friend, | can earnestly hope you will pos
6es7 the luxury"
Al this period / was merchant Hav-
ing discharged thieving clerk, was 50
confined to my store that journey to In
dianapolis was out of the question. |
was growing almost wild to see one
whom all praised-sO many wished me to
wed.
l. a few days from the call Of my legis-
Jatiye friend, his brother, a noted judge,
appeared at my store,
The Judge was also my devoted ally
"a position intensified by his recollec-
ton of being educated by my deceased
father
Drawing a daguerreotype from his coat
said he a wish to show you some
thing nice. There, what do you say to
that ~
"Who is it ?" ] cried with enthusi-
asm.
This, my dear friend, is Miss Kate
7Leary, the young lady | wish you to
marry
Z Tell me, l exclaimed, "is she all they
!, claim for her?"
MY dear friend honestly as I value the
truth, [ have not heard her sufficiently
praised"
'sWhy don't some man try his luckn
pm glad you ask. Simply because
she is over-courted, and consequently
hard to please She is romantic, and
| clearly see, not winable by ordinary
methods"
you say she is very particular"
"She is, sir"
'sThen good bye for me-"
Not at all; she is rapturous over your
likeness, and sends her cousinly love, with
an invitation to visit her. [ pledge you
to not emitting single point in your body
caliber or character"
"Do you consider her daguerreotypt
accurates
q can tell you it don't fiatter her. Sht
has extraordinary beauty, and the kline
that is more striking in animation or con
VerSatiOn."
While mutual friends in Centrevillt
We're lauding my fair cousin, mutua
friends in Indianapolis were decided il
their eulogies of me, and preparing hel
mind for an alliance.
| am not selfconceited Believing sucl
concord must be born of an obvious
fact, | settled on the idea of marrying thi
wonder in beauty, soul and accomplish
ment.
My intent was quickly confirmed upor
hearing that a very wealthy and intfuen
tial banker from Gotham was in the melt
ing mood. | remember it was midnight
/ limited from my store the last batch o
chronic loungerS, and selected the bes
stationery in my establishment.
| was to write my first letter to Kate.
Such a reply as receivedl Well, 20,
must see it-you shall see it. | have goo(
cas- works, but am inadequate. In brie
time we learned that each knew the othe
well. The much said by so many, man,
mutual friends, superadded to our daguer
reotvpes and letters, made us compre
hending couple In fact we confessed
our Iowa full, round, ripe and lusciou
article There could be no unsafety in tn
case.
Our lineage was in common and ever
fact known; what followed is clear-a
engagement-yes, between unseen lover
and cousins.
was dying" to fold her to my heart
but my souls condition and maturing al
pointments postponed that indefinitely
What did you say? Why did she nc
visit some of our friends at Centreville?
answer you cheerfully. She had her nc
tons and would entertain them Thouel
we were plighted, she declared it shoul
not be said that she made the first visit
Many believe her right. [ don't areu
the point, but merely answer the question
Weeks passed; letters were numerou
and saccharine The time arrived whel
l could endure my single condition n
longer. What if some. one were to Gu
me out at the eleventh hour? With sucl
love what would become of me? l wa