Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-05-24
The RAW American.

I,ondon at present abounds in Americans on
their way to the Vienna Exposition. Many of
them are commissioners from various States
Some have lands to sell or other financial axes
to grind. Of such the Langhaln Hotel is full.
The Langham is the nearest approach to an
American hotel in London. There, though
not guest, you may pass in and out without
explaining to the ha-porter who you are, what
YOU are, where you come from, or what you
want you may there enter and retire without
giving your pedigree naturalization papers, or
certificate Of good character. At other Eng
lish hotels something analogous to this is COM
monty required. "...'
We who have been iu England full year
look down with an air of superiority on the
raw, the newy-arrivcd American. We are
quito English We have Worn out our Ameri-
can clothes. We have on English hats with
tightly -curled rims and English stubtoed boots.
We know the intricacies of London street navi-
cation, and Isington, Blacktriars, Camden
Town, Hackney, the Surrey Side," Pccadil.
ly, Regent and Oxford streets, the Strand and
Fleet street, are all mapped out distinctly in
our minds eye We are skilled in English
money, aud no longer pass off half crowns for
two-shiling pieces. We are real Anglo-Ameri-
cans.
But the raw American, only arrived week,
is 10 maze, a confusion, hurry. He Is eX-
cited and mysti6cd. He tries to appear cool
and unconcerned, and is simply ridiculous;
His cards, bearing his name, title, and official
status, he distributes as freely as doth the win
ter wind the snow flakes. Inquire at the Lang
ham Office for Mr. Smith, and you find ne has
blossomed into General Smith:
He is always partaking or about to partake
OF official dinners He feels that the eyes OF
all England are upon him. de is dressed la
bandbOx-hat immaculate in its pristine gloss,
white crayat, umbrella of the slimmest, encased
10 siken wrapper. A speck OF mud Oh his
boots would tarnish the national honor. Com
monty he is taken for head butler He
drinks much stout. He eats a whitebait din
ner before being forty-eight hours in London,
and tells oft. All this makes him feel English.
You meet him. He is overoyed. lie
would talk Of everything-your mutual exper-
ience 10 America. his sensations and impressions
siuce arriving in England. He talks intelligibly
ofnothing. His brain is a mere rag-bag--
shreddy, confused, parti-colored. Thus ne
wonderful" ''Dined with the Earl Of Yes
the tower" Westminster" New York
growing" ''St. Paul "-going, going, gone !
and he shakes hands with you, aud is off at a
Broadway gait straight toward the east end of
London for bis hotel, which lies at the west end.
In reality the man ia not in his right mind.
He is undergoing the mental acclimatHation
fever. Should he stay in London for three
months he might recover and begin to find out
where he is But six months hence he will
have returned to America, fancying he has
seen London, Paris, Rome, Geneva, Vienna,
and whatever other places his body has been
hurried through, not his mind for that, in
the excitement and rapidity of his flight, has
streamed behind him like the tail of a comet
light, atteuuated, vapory, catching nothing, ab-
sorbing nothing.
Occasionally this fever takes an abusive phase.
He finds in England nothing tolike, nothing to
admire. Sometimes he wishes immediately to
revolutionize the government. He is incensed
at the cost Of royalty He sees on every side
indications of political upheaval. Or he be-
comes culinarily disgusted. Because there are
no buokwheat cakes, no Goldfish cakes, no hot
bread, no pork and beans, no mammouth
oysters, stewed, fried, aud roasted, he can find
nothing fit to eat. The English cannot cook.
Because he can find no noisey, Gathering dish
smashing restaurant, full of .acrobatic walters
racing and balancing under immense piles OF
plates, and shouting jargon untranslatable, un-
iutelligible, and unpronounceable, down into
the lower Kitchen he cannot, cannot eat. lip
ptncoH's Magazine. ~" ..... -