, 1873-06-01

abe 1Rvishes upon her pin-feathered unit, the dis
tressing aolicitude for ita welfare, the ostenta~
tious manner il which she aiIects to look
down upon other hens who go scratching over the
-barnyara for full dozen, and the boastfl man.
ner in which she exhibits her solitary Offspring,
usually make beth her aud her chicken nui-
sance in every weu-regu1ated hen-coop, and
monstrances from the noisy lord Of the harem.
In nine cases out Of ten it eyentuates that the
aolitary chicken develops into tough, ungainly
fowl, Of some mongre1 breed, which is neither
good for the gridiron nor to provide material for
omelettcs, and which usually comes to soma ig-
nomfnious manner of death while scratching up
seeds in foreign gardens.
II there Ia anything that resembles the hen
with one chicken, it is the poet with ona poem
the xhymester with but one leaf On hiB laurel
spray. He admires that poem, ca1esses it, and
fond1es it, Is II it we're the only poem in this
world Of rhymes. He cuts al manner Of caperB
on his one-winged Pegasus, and makes more
fuss over his one muse than other poets do with
their whole nine. An instance OF this 1udicrous
and pitiable state Of things is afforded BY one
Mr. William Carleton, Of Michigan, who claims
the paternity Of an almost endless string OF
rhymes called "Betsy and Arc Out an
edusion for which the school Of Mr. Bret Harto
and Mr. John Hay is directly responsible. For
some little time Mr Carleton had reveled in the
prospects Of fame. Hegot into the newspapers,
and fortunately had his name spelled right. His
r,onun,estum perennius are already began to
loom up before his mind's-eye. His laurel
switch began to bud like Aaron's rod. Els collar
grew wider and his necktIe more reglige. The
barber cut his hair less frequently. santimen-
tai young women began to dote upon him and
request his autograph His laundry bill vas In
creased in the item Of vet towels,
and Fame had just begun to distend
her cheeks in order to blow his
name through her trumpet, when ruthless
woman from Massachusetts, Emerson by name,
steps in and demands her offspring, which she
is ready to identity by strawberry mark On its
left arm, and which, she claims, tho furtiTe
Carleton stole away With malice aforethought,
and is now passing of IS one OF his Own chill
d1en. The mother-in-law, aforetime, has come IN
for much Of this worlds abuse. This time, how
ever, 1t is the brother-inaw, for it to Carle-
TOMS brother-in-law that, in an un1ucky hour, abe
entrusted "Betsy," and the next that she knew
she found "Betsy" playing in the public
street with an anonymous unwashed and un-
kempt brood OF A1r. Carleton's offspring, with
whom she had nothing in common. Like
Hoods woman in HoIborn, she wildly rushed
into the street and claimed her offspring, where
upon in steps Mr. Carleton, picks it up, and runs
of with it, exc1aiming to the distracted mother
in the most ungentleman1y prose: "You are
1iart You are base impostor p
Thus the matter stands at present. Mean
while the distracted public is threatened with
deluge Of letters, af1idavits and counter-af8-
davits. dopositions, voluminons correspondence
longer than quarterly review article, and pos
eibly mandamuses and injunctions without end,
not to mention the profusion Of esthetic per-
sonalities which usually grow out Of these poet-
cal squabbles. By all that is prosaic and respect
able, we appeal to the high contending parties
to quit their nonsense about this i'll
conditioned child. It is q Wretched
gamin at best, whether its name is
Emerson or Carleton. It was brought into the
world scarce half made up, and hasn't improved
apy since birth. We warn them in time that, If
they do not stop their unseemly squabb1e, the
public will revoke both their poetica1 licenses.
II we must have din about our ears, let it con-
ce1n come worthy object. II the Emerson and
the Carleton are bound to smash their cheap
Tyres over each others heads, let them retire to
some secluded spot, where their jangle won't
annoy other people and disturb the public peace.
In any event, VIC beg: Of them to believe that
this solitary chicken isn't worth fighting over.
It is poor starveling thing at best, and the
public wouldn't give snap Of its finger to know
who brought it into the world Besides, there.
are less noisy ways Of dspoaing OF the ques-
ton. For instance, let this Carleton and En-
erson agree to play geven-up for it, best
three in FIVE to hare it, and the
loser. to give the winner q quit-c1aim
deed. Or, they might pitch pennies for it. Or,
they might find some rural Solomon who would
agree to divide the child In twain and each take
half. Or, they might send for Judge Durel1,
who will shortly be out OF q job in New Orleans
He has been engaged in smaller and meaner
business than this, and would take to it kindly.
Whatever they do, let them do it quietly. The
public cares nothing for the 1natter, and, as both
"Betsy and Are out,"' would prefer that they
remain out and end the game. It is poor
chicken, anyway you look st it. ~,
: The e1travagant style Of living, which is at
present q characteristic Of fashionable life in
this country and in England, in one case at least
has come to illogical conclusion. In the English