Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-08-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
The Artists State-Pencil-vania

A PRETTY rough page in natural his
tory-The ramp page.
PEOPLE who are not fond of soap are
generally fond of soporifics
THINK between thinks if you please,
but don't drink between drinks
THE women horse-car conductors have
for their mottO-fare to the fair
THE meanest of impostors-The man
who imposes his presence upon you
Cool mornings and evenings in Au-
gust presage what befel Adam-an early
fall
THE greatest of bores-The man who
has nothing to do, and no means to do
that.
THE Danbury Necs man SAYS that
'parts unknown" is where they don't ad-
vertiSe.
ONE half Of the world don't know how
the other half live-and it is none of their
business.
A LOWELL lady is disguised with postal
cards, because there isn't room for a p. S.
on them.
Wild horses are abundant in southern
Kansas, and several parties Of hunters are
after them
NEVER buy anything that you don't
want, and never want anything that you
can't buy.
A CIRCUIT cOurt-The boarding-around
schoolmaster making love to a new girl
every week.
IF all Brigham's wives were to get
100000 alimony, it would take about all
mony he's got.
LIFE is never so sweet and danger never
so insignificant as when we scent out a
new scientific principle.
DRINKERS in this country can hardly be
called heathens, but still the great idea
with them is jug-or-not.
The fact that Turkey is preparing" as
announced by recent dispatches, will be
hailed as a subject for Thanksgiving
IT is all very well to say that ''hand-
some is as handsome does" but hand
some woman is handsome whatever she
does.
ONE profession, says Punch, is safe
from the invasion Of woman. She may
enter the army, but it is impossible that
she can man the navy.
"CHARTTY is not railway that runs on
theological lines, but heart with wings,
full OF innate svmpathies, recognizing and
appreciating all classes of needs.
A CHICAGO editor once heard the words
"Sister, thou was mild and lovely" sung
at the funeral of an old lady who was
known to have been perfect vixen.
STEALING money is a serious business
out here" said Colorado paper" but
you can kill man, and all they ask is
| that you don't leave him in the way"
"1s WOMAN" anxiOusly inquiries an
Eastern hhpttar than n
certainly is for some purposes, but she
doesn't make so good a mother-in-law.
A GARDENER in England claims to
have discovered a method of varying the
colors of flowers by means of chemical
applications to the earth in which they
grow.
WHY is a thief your only true philoso-
pher? Because he regards everything
from an abstract point of view, is opposed
to all notions Of protection, and is open to
conviction.
A NEWSPAPER says: "Without intend
ing to be personal, we feel bound to de-
clare that if our postmaster would resign,
many timid persons would feel safe about
| their money letters"
I THE hotel-keeper who buys, and manu-
facturer and furniture dealer who sells
bureaus without knobs to all the drawers,
firmly attached, are accountable for more
profanity than baulky horse or decline
in copper stocks.
TYPES continue to cut up antics, even
in well-regulated offices, we infer, from
seeing John Brown announced as "a lin
seed preacher" Probably Mr.. Brown
would decline the honor and remain con
tent with being licensed.
A SENTIMENTAL editor says: at is COM
forting to know that one eye watches
fondly, for our coming, and looks brighter
when we come" A contemporary is
grieved to learn that his "brother Of the
quill has a wife with only one eye"
BE obliging. Strive to avoid hard words
and personalities. Do not kick every
stone in the path; more miles can be
made a day by going steadily on than by
stopping to kick. Pay as you go. a man
of honor respects his word as he does his
bond.
JUSTICE SHARswOOD, of the Pennsyl-
vania Supreme Court has decided that it
is good law that all persons must come to
a full stop before crossing railway track,
and that if they do not, and injury to per
son or property results, they cannot re-
cover.
An English exchange predicts that steel
bars will shortly be substituted in that
country and the United States for bells.
They are light and give much more scope
to architectural design in the steeple.
They are more easily rung, and are not
liable to crack.
WHEN mans grief is at the point of
writing poems upon it, it may be loud,
but it is not very severe. When man is
cudgeling his brain to find any rhyme for
sorrow besides borrow or tomorrow
his woes are nearer an end than he
Unsatisfactory.
WHEN the great Nassau balloon fell into
the sea. in 1860, sixty rounds Of ball car
fridge had to be fired into it before any
perceptible effect was produced in its size
by the escape Of gas, each bullet passing
right through the balloon, and thus form
ing two holes in the bag.
ERRoRs-What subject is there so Sc
rioss that the newspapers cannot make 1t
appear ridiculous? Read the following
statement as it appeared lately in the
kilograms: every body in this place had
cholera svn,ptofas, and some large families
have only tlco lJt.-Richmohd (Ed) Dis
patch
AHMED EFFESDI, Turkish artist and a
pupil of Boulanger, has procured the
sanction of the authorities of CONSTANT
nople to organize the first exhibition of
paintings in Stamboul. though this is con.
trary to the MOhamC ee.an law, which for
bids the reDresentati iDn of the human