The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1873-05-02

: ny iauies' 70 tnelr nalr up y
high now that they have to stan(
on something to put on their hats
A poetic Hibernian explains tia
love is commonly spoken of as ;
"tlame"because it's a tinder senti
ment.
What is the difference between Q
Jew and lawyer? The one get,
his law from the prophets, the 9th
er his profits from the law.
The man who ate his dinner with
the fork ota river, has sprained hi
foot while attempting to spin 8
mountain top.
One OF our exchanges affection.
ately denominates the writer OF a
cotemporary Journal a "bladder o1
putty. 1t is doubtful if he can lone
survive such an allusion to his
heaviness and adhesiviness.
AMONG certain Amazonian tribes
the Indian bridegroom is subjected
to a strange test. While the mar.
rage festivities are going on his
hand is tied up in a paper bag full
of tire-antS.
The bites Of these creatures are
said to be truly terrible-the bitten
parts feeling as if they were tortured
by burning Goals. If the bride
groom can bear the test spoken of,
be is considered equal to the trials
OF matrimony.
At a meeting of bakers in Eng
land recently held for the purpose
Of demanding better wages, a speak
er wound up with the following:
May the cock of Scotland never CROW.
May the rose OF England never blow,
May the harp of Ireland never play.
TIL we poor bakers get better PAY,
A Gallowstown lady recently
requested her husband to 60 to the
dressmaker and tell her that she
This wife) had changed her mind,
and wonld have the watered silk
made up instead OF the poplin, and
that ''if she thinks it would look
better with bias flounces without
putting, and box-plaited below the
equator, which should be gathered
IN hemstitched gudgeons up and
down the seams, with a gusset-stitch
between, she can make it up that
way, instead Of fluting the bobinet
insertion and piecing out with point
applique as | suggested yesterday.
The man is now raving maniac.
An Irish physician was called to
examine the corpse ofanother Irish
man who had been assassinated by
some Of bis countrymen. "This per.
SON." said he, after inspecting the
body, twas so ill that if be had not
been murdered he would have died
half an hour before"
A gentleman going to Texas
asked friend fora letter of intro
dHetion. The friend opened draw
er, took out large and handsome
spring-bladed dagger-knife and a
slx-cbambered revolver, and gave
them to him.
10 make a white foot, or a star
in a horses forehead, an Exchange
says: Take a picked mackerel and
it, on, in any shape you
please, three or four days repeating,
and it will produce a white foot or
4 white spot. Rub the white sad
lie spots on a horses's back a few
lines daily in the spring of the
year, before the coat is shed, with
1acon grease, and it will restore the
latural color.
The Utica N. 7. Herald has the
In a Central railroad
rain the other day two old ladies
at in -adjoinipg seats in one Of the
ars.: one declared if the conductor
,pened the window she would die.
nd the other protested against it
oeing closed, for she would certainly |
mother to death. The conductor
vas in doubt, when a venerable
exclaimed: "Open the
Findow and kill one Of them. and
hen close it and kill the other, and
hen we shall have peace"
A Sunday school scholar only six
ears old was asked by his teacher
Why they took Stephen outside