Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-10-30

/ want to be a Granger
And with the Granger's stand
A horny-fsted farmer,
With hay-stack in my hand.
Beneath the tall tomato tree
I'll swing the glittering hoe,
And smite the wild potato-bug
As he skips DER the snow.
I've bought myself Durham ram
And gray alpaca COW,
A lock-stitch Usage orange hedge
And patent leather plow.
Mrs. Partington says she gets up every
morning at the shrill csrrion of the chande-
lier.
It has now become . question as to
whether phrenologist can tell what bar
rel contains by examining its head.
While witnessing game of base ball out
West, boy was struck on the back of the
head, the ball coming out OF his mouth.
How did Robinson Crusoe know that he
was on an inhabited island? Because he
saw great swell pitching into little cove.
An Illinois county clerk refused to issue
a marriage license because the man was
only four feet high, while the woman was
six.
Persons who are liable to be sea-sick are
recommended, on the eve of sea voyage
to take mucilage with their food, to keep il
down.
"Among all my boys" said an old man,
81 never had but one boy who took after
me, and that was my son Aaron; he took az
ter me with club"
DR.. Barton is the name of the gentleman
who,o being told that Mr.. Vowel was dead,
quietly replied: "Let US be thankful it was
neither U nor ]"
Scientists are claiming that, instead of be-
ing cold, the moon is in reality red hot, and
that no living thing known to our world
could exist there. This spOlls the great
cheese theory.
A BOY eight years cid, in one OF our pub
lie schools, having been told that reptile
"is thing that creeps," on being asked to
name one on examination day, promptly
and triumphantly replied, ga baby"
A school-examiner lately gave bright
looking boy his sentence to correct: 'Be-
tween you and this Is good butter" The
boy shortly returned the slip thus marked:
incorrect; the lsmp-p0st is omitted"
YoUNG AMERICA Is always practical, and
this truth is finely illustrated in the follow
ing: A youth of Salisbury, four years old,
and his Young sister, saw rat hasten into a
hole in the barn floor. Said he, isis, the
Bible says, 'Watch and pray You pray
while watch the hole, and rl swat him
across the snoot when he comes out"
"WHAT's the matter, Uncle Jerry?" said
Mr., as old jeremiah r. was passing
by, growing most furiously. "MStterl"
said the old man, stopping short; "why,
here I've been Juggling water sll the morning
for DIR. C.'s wife TO wash with, aud what
d'7e 'spose got for it?" "Why, | suppose
about ten cen.s," answered Mr.. -.
"Ten centsi" She told me the doctor would
pull a tooth for me sometime"
In Galloway large crags are met with
having ancient writings on them. One on
the farm OF Knockleby has cut deep on the
upper side, "Lift me up and I'll tell you
MORE" 4 number of people gathered to
this erag and succeeded in lifting it up, in
hopes of being well repaid. Instead Of
finding any gold, they found written on iS,
Lay me down as l was before"
WHEN a man comes nome and trles 10
bolt bis door with sweet potasoe, pokes
the fire with the spout Of coffee pot, at
tempts to wind up the clock with his boot
Jack, tries to cut kindling wool for the
morning with a paper-knife, takes cold
potatoe in bis hand to light hm to bed, and
prefers sleeping in his hat and boots, you
may reasonably infer that 40 has been
making the acquaintance OF some very
friendly people.
TIE Gorsssdd sddorffldldrrwydr, an Eisted-
dfodd, to be held at Coedpoetherwythdys
next wear, under the designation Of Eistedd-
fodd Cadcorywhyriolddr Dyffwryhrywrnd-
dolwyhn Maewhydlor, has been proclaimed
with all the ancient ceremonies, a Welsh
RABBIT being slaughtered by Clwywbywydd-
wdwdfwyaTdd, the principal bsrd, who was
assisted by Iololululo Trewhyfjdewlwhn
and others, who helped to drink all the
whisky. Tho old practice Of ontlandish
names Or these ceremonies hss been en-
tirely discarded.