The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1873-09-19
FAT MEMS CONVENTION.
Speech of the Pat Contributor.

FAT MEMS CONVENTION.
Speech of the Pat Contributor.
The fat men met at Put-in-Bay on
the 10th, and remained in session
two days, having an anctious time
oft. There were sixty persons pres
ent whose development permitted
of their being classified. Their
, weights ranged from 200 to 500
pounds. The 503 pounder was
chosen president for the ensuing
year, His name is John Templeton
of Swanton, Fulton county, and he
is man of great weight of charac-
ter. He was born in Washington
county, Penn, Sept. %, 1907. He
is six feet one and one half inches
in hight. The doings of the fat men
was pretty much as they pleased,
and every one was jolly and happy
until the conclusion of the conYen-
tion. Following is the speech of the
Fat Contributor.
1fr President and Fat Hen of the
Vest:
1t has been my fortune in my day,
to address a great variety of audi
ences, large audienses frequently,
and very intelligent audiences, but
never in all my life have l been called
upon to speak to an assembly that
compared with this for SIZE.
Nothing can be more disagreeable
to speaker than to find himself adj
dressing shallow, narrow contracted
men, men of small comprehension
and limited endurance. But you
are not shallow. You are men of
infinite depth-of chest-and as for
being narrow, no one can accuse you
of it who looks at you. You are
men of broad views-only get a
broad view of you, and as regards
comprehension, why half a dozen
insignificant men might be compre-
hended within the generous circum-
ference of your ample Wristbands.
You have endurance, too, a great
quality in an audience as all speak
ers can testify. You can hold out.
Colonel Sweeny says, when it comes
to table you can hold out longer
than any guests he ever had. So l
preceive your debth, broad compre-
hension, marked capacity, great en-
durance and-and bottom.
Mr.. President amt gentlemen:-If
there were but one of you 1 would
still have big audience. AS 1 con-
template you feel that am SWELL
ing up little myself. 1t may be
the CLAIMS, but 1 think it is the oc-
casion. And it is q big occasion.
Why gentlemen, everything is on
thy biggest kind of scale here.
Look at this magnificent amphithea-
tire, hundreds of acres in extent, car
peted by natures own lavish and |
generous hand, whose encircling
walls are the broad, blue waters of |
OF Lake Erie, while grand old for
est trees stretch their Corinthian
columns toward the azure dome of |
heaven.
Can the theaters of the world dis
play such scenery as is now spread
out before you? What background
to the stage! What "dats," and
"wings,' and "fies," and drop cur
tain such as scenic artist never
dreamt of, Hear the orchestra
shrek or steam whistles, mingled
with the roar of the breakers as they
dash upon the rocky bluff in front
of Wiley McLeans. { must apol-
ogize for the breakers. There seems
to be hitch in the arrangements.
Friend Mclean promised at my par
ticular request, to have those break
ers break at about this time, as it
would help out the effect of my
speech. I don't hear them breaking.
Perhaps, however, they are "broke."
If they are they have no business
here. Any landlord will tell you
that.
Aside from the presence of the
biggest man in the west, this is ,
great occasion. The Sixtieth Ami !
7ersary Of the battle of Lake Erie j
md Perry's Victory. All, my fellow !
at men, when the late Commodore
)ut in here with his battered fleet +;
IN that memorable 10th of Septem- =
Der, 1913, and gazed on a beautiful =
'ut inhabited island, he could hard +
y have imagined the scene which it !
low presents. Picture his astonish- q
nent could he be permitted to revis- e
the island where slept his gallant 6
lead, and gaze about him. He would I
ind, in place of the wild and pictur-
sque, large elegant hotels, thronged
nth the beauty, fashion and the
atty of the west. He would behold Il
.roves peopled with busy life, and 4
choing to the strains Of sweetest .
music. Looking about for his bat +,
CARED heroes, be would discover +
Ond, devoted couples, wandering in Il
companionship along the Ii,
hady beech, where the gentle mur- n
lur of the waves, as they softly h
reak at their feet, whisper only Of v
tranquility and love. n
Hark! What familiar sound breaks .
pom his startled ear? Is it the dull n
oar of the enemies cannon as thew =
url their deadly mirsils at his fated Il
.awrence? No, they are harmless !
ounds emanating from an adjacent v
all alley. "Grim yisaged war 9,
ath smoothed his wrinkled front" iIl
ince Perry's day, and instead of r.
annon balls, we have ten pin balls, ! h
illIard balls, croquet balls, dress n
alls and fish balls. " "
He wanders in a half beWildered =,
ay to gently aloping beach, where NJ