The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-11-13
ASKING FOR MONEY.
The Division Of Household Funds
---NVhaI IL DHe 20 "a WIFE.
From the Women's journal


One Of the very best wives and moth
ers have ever known once said 10 me
that whenever her daughters should be
married she should stipulate in their
behalf with their husbands for a regular
sum Of money to be paid them, at certain
intervals, for their personal expenditures.
Whether this sum was to be larger or
smaller was matter of secondary impor-
tance-that must depend on the income
and style Of living-but the essential
thing was that it should come to the wife
regularly, so that she should no more
have to make a special request for it
than her husband would have to ask her
for his dinner. This lady's own husband
was, as | happened to know, of a most
generous disposition, was devotedly at
tached to her and denied her nothing
She herself was a most accurate and
careful manager. There was everything
in the household To make the financial
arrangements flow smoothly. Yet she
said to me: 81 suppose no man can
possibly understand how sensitive wo-
man shrinks from asking for money. If
| can prevent it, my daughters shall new
er have to ask it. If they do their duty
as wives and mothers, they have "A right
to their share of the joint income, within
reasonable limits for, certainly, no
money could buy the services they render.
Moreover, they have a right to share in
determining what those reas nable limits
are"
Now it so happened that | had myself
gone through an experience which ena-
bled me perfectly to comprehend this
feeling. In early life | was for a time
in the employ of kind friend who paid
me fair salary, but at no definite peri
DDS l was at liberty 10 ask him for
money whenever 1 needed it. This
seemed to me, in advance, a most agree
able arrangement; but found it quite
otherwise. 1t proved to be very disa-
greeable to ask for money; it made every
dollar seem a special favor it brought up
all kinds of misgivings as to whether he
could spare it without inconvenience,
whether he really thought my services
worth it, and so on. Ny employer was
a thoroughly upright and noble man,
and | was much attached to him. l do
not know that he ever refused or demurred
when | asked for money. The annoy
ance was simply in the process Of asking
and this became so great that l often
underwent serious inconvenience rather
than ask. Finally, at the years end, /
surprised my friend very much by saying
that would accept, if necessary, &
lower salary, on condition that it should
be paid on regular days, and as a matter
of business. The wish was at once
granted, without the reduction and my
employer probably never knew what
relief it was to me.
Now if a young man is liable to feel
this pride and reluctance towards mere
employer, it is easy to understand how
many women may feel the same even in
regard to a husband. And | fancy that
those who feel it most are often the most
conscientious and high-minded women.
1t is unreasonable to say of such persons,
s'Too sensitivel "Too fastidious !" For
it is this very quality of finer sensitive
ness which men affect to prize in woman,
and wish to protect at all hazards. The
very fact that a husband is generous
the very fact that his income is limited
these may bring in conscience and graft
tude to increase the restraining influence
of pride, and make the wife less willing
to ask money of such husband than If
he were rich man or a mean one. The
only dignifed position in which a man
can place his wife is to treat her at least
as well as he would treat a housekeeper,
and give her the comfort of perfectly
clear and definite arrangement as to
money matters. She will not then be
under the necessity of nerving herself to
solicit from him as favor what she really
needs and has right to spend. Nor will
she be torturing herself, on the other
side, with the secret fear lest she has