The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-11-03
from the Itanbury News.]
NV First Paper Collar.

Paper collars are we'll enough understood
now. and the addition of cloth-liniDg has
worked a wonderful Improvement in the
article. The boy who tries his first collar In
this day has none of the trials or apprchcn-
sions of the boy of ten or fifteen years ago.
We remember with unpleasant diStinctness
the first paper collar we eyer wore. 1t was
at q surprise party. A half-hour after the
advent of ourself and the other surprisers
we were located in the parlor on mohair
chair. And they were very fresh and VlSor-
our mohairs, too. 1t was our intention to
have got in corner, but we missed the aim,
and rot located within eighteen inches OF
the stove. twas large stove, with COM
plicated mass of perpendicular sheel-lron
pipes, like all organ, only 1t was warmer
than an organ. The stove set out from the
wall, and our location gave us prominence
that would have been very grateful bad VIC
been back o. store looking for lemons,
but beinga diffident person, and having
strong desire to crawl under the carpet, and
be out Of sight, the prominence put a blight
on our spirits that we found impossible to
shake of. 1t was quite cold out doors,
but the room being full Of people, and
some thoughtful person having closed
the door, the temperature COM
menced to density with extraordinary ra-
pidity. All Of the party sat around the sides
of the room, and in such way rs to take
in the stove and ourself. a dreadful silence
sat upon all, disturbed only occasionally by
q brief whisper of one friend to another,
which undoubtedly referred to our proNiml-
ty to the stove, and the weird solemnity
Of our expression, which we desperately
but vainly strove to remedy. We cssayed
once or twice to look into the faces
OF the company, but thought better OF
it, and picking out place in the
wall where the paper had been torn OFT,
fell to studying it with all-absorbing i'll
terest. The perspiratiOn stood out on our
forehead in great drops, and, having stood
there till they got tired, the drops silently
rolled down our face. We would have got
out a handkerchief but we cherished the
hope that some one in the party was not
looking at us, and dreaded to make any
for fear OF attracting his attention.
Then the bergamot and sweet oil with which
we had generously fed our locks. with Il view
to Intoxicating the senses OF the females in
attendance, commenced to ooZe forth and
start down the back Of our neck for fresh
pastures. II was ut this juncture, the heat of
the stove having become unbcarablc, that
the lady Of the house inquired If the stove
was not too warm for the gentleman. 1t
was our purpose 10 protest that we never
before was so comfortably situated, but the
roof of our mouth having dried and cracked
open, the words must lave got lot in the
creyiccS. But we snilcd-such smile per-
lmps, IA a sick man would exchange with an
undertaken who had called in to ask after his
health. 1t was at this point we became con-
sciouS Of our paper-colar. II was pressing
against the back of our neck with the ardor of
q mustard.draft, and one end had broken from
the button and was soaring majcstically
We could iee it crumule and
fall down on both sides, and every time we
put our hands up, which we began to do
quite often on account Of the cold thrill it
gave US, we found it spotted with the vitality
Of that collar. The other people COM
menced to whisper, and look up at the CELL
ng, and put their handkerchiefs in their
mouths. We thought Of killing every one
IF them on the spot, and hiding their
bleeding remains in the cellar; but
ne lacked the GOODNESS necessary for such
IN undertaking, on account Of that internal
stove, and so gareit up, and kept on smiling
o show our calmness. Suddenly, when in the
midst Of what was probably most maniacal
eer, the collar parted at the back, and one
de dropped down to the floor, and the other
wung around to the front. A shrek of
aughter burst from the company, and we
)olted for home.