Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-07-09
HUMORs OF THE POSTAL CARD.


course, they are pub Docs to those into whose
hands they may fall before reaching the person
| now wags, has wagged, and probably always
will the ill-rePort they make public travels fast
and is caught up and circulated with a rapidity
| winch alarms. In short, postal cards are shot
ted shell or blank cartridges, controlled by the
| persons sending them. The cards circulating
in our own city furnish abundant illustrations
| OF wit, satire, and mischief, and from scores
| which have passed through our home office we
| present the contents of a few to illustrate how
| they are calculated to afford food for gossip,
ana TO set even old Mrs. Grundy in thought
| full mood.
THE HUMoRs OF THE CARDS.
Here Is one evidently written by a cynic 10
one of the same turn Of mind, while under the
weather:
"1y Dear Jdek:-I am net very sorry to hear
you are slek-take cod liver oil, and remember
my parting advice and heed il.
When the devil was sick,
The devil a saint would be;
When the devil got we'll
The devil a saint was he.
Now be saint under all circum stances, or
stop playing it."
LOST BUsrLE.
Some mischief-maker thus annoys lady who
has met with an unfortunate loss:
"Hdttie:-Your hustle was found in the Smith
and gave it to our cook. All the boarders have
| SINCE fallen in love with her."
And in this manner is
| AN UNFORTUNATE CREDITOR
bored:
| the suit of clothes which are aired upon your
body every fine evening on Penn's avenue.
YOUR TAILOR"
Here is one sent probably to influence the &C
| ton of
A HRSPECKED HUSBAND.
"Diyorces legally obtained. Desertion, Sc,
sufficient cause. No fee in advance"
The peculiar merits TO blow his own horn
make themselves manifest to the recipient of
the following:
ga remarkable person to draw the long bow
Was an elderly man whom we call Uncle Joe.'
An inyincible codger5to talk and to blow
OF impossible things-and to swear they are So"
Here is card from Young America:
"Dedr Dad Come home soon. Iwant money
for the show. There is big bulliphaut in
town. Your BUB."
SMITH ON BUST.
Only few days ago a card passed through
the office with very clever pen-sketched bust,
on the left side of which was written, Smith
| on bust" and underneath:
| "LOst, Strdyed or Stolen The above is an
exact likeness of departed greatness This is
| to give notice that he is much missing by his
| corning the ve-mentioned animal will be
appreciated If left at the house opposite The
| pump"
Here is again an epistle from
AN IRREVERENr SON:
Dear Ddd:-Yours received last night at s
| p. m. Glad of your safe arrival. Remember
me 70 the ladies. p. S.-Thanks to a kind gov
eminent for cheap postage; the subscriber Dor
rowed the cent 70 purchase this"
The advice given in the following Is certainly
| as cheap as the postage
"Should you become afflicted with sea sick
ness chew an onion, soak the feet in sawdust
| apply dose of pulverized paving stones to the
| stomach. Adhere strictly to these Instruction.
| IN Vouch for your recovery"
| JEALOUS FEMALE.
This speaks for itself:
| "Ndry H.:-If you do not keep away from NV
husband, L will throw vitoral In your face the
| next time we meet. 1 will spoil your pretty
| on earth"
Here is one of purely business character:
| "Joe Il will be at your Office at O'Clock
Want to borrow 500. Don't dissapoint me,n
BAsHFUL LOVER.
Here is something of a sentimental natire:
"Would the lady with whom | walked on
oh, Elsie, intercede for me, have not suficient
| courage to ask her."
Here is one which should command attention:
| Laura and Betsy When you take a morning
bath, always keep your shutters closed. Do
| you imagine that all the world is asleep at S
a. mp Having eyes, we see. What else could
| be done with them"
Church-goers, even, are not safe, iudpino
from the following:
"Your long prayers in the sanctuary will
hardly SQUARE the accounts against you by
| reason Of short weight in your sale of groceries
If you were where you could do il, you old ras-
cal, would advise you TO wipe out a blot by
throwing yourself under the wheels of the ar of
Juggernut. Ii would afford me pleasure to ride
where the car was heaviest loaded"
This is the way Bella +. expresses a need:
Dear F.:-Loan me your backhair and sola-
talre curl for an excursion down the river"
THE POTOMAC RUNS UP STREAM
Judge Edmunds, our worthy city postmaster
received the following information by means of
the card, dated Harper's Ferry:
"I have just arrived at this romantic spot. I
understand that Thomas Jefferson said il was
worth trip across the Atlantic to see Jeffer-
sons rock. Very likely. But he must have had
reference to seamen as most Iandsmen have
seen much larger rocks. 1 find also that the
Potomac river runs down and not up the
dall's time"
Here's advice that should be needed:
"Sir:-If you don't muzzle your dog within
the next As hours, his tenure OF life is short IT.
then, you wish to fatten him for winter sau-
sages comply with the law and muzzle him.
TEMPERANCE LECTURE.
"Sdm:-You should drink less rum and make
fewer temperance speeches. Don't think YOU
can fool old Pop T.. If you had an invisible
smell IT out. Confess your fault, make amends,
and begin anew"
Here Is one which should adn1onish boarding
housekeepers to be vigilant:
"krs. F--I left your house because the bed
was too lively. prefer to sleep alone rather
than battle with an army of bugs. ANY first
c esd =. Druggist Will recommend means to get
These samples are few out of hundreds Of
the Same character, and serve to show the uses
to which the postal card is put
0The Federal Swiss Assembly have elected
ziegler, OF Zurich, president.
~The prevalence Of cholera in Venice.
Italy, 10 officially announced.
0The board Of supervisors of San Francis
90 have sustained the Mayors veto Of the Chi
nese sundry ordinance. -.
,0SurGeon Semig, who lost leg while with
captain Thomas command in the Modoc war.
mas nearly recovered and is coming home.
0The steamship Pennsylvania, of Philadel-
Rnia sails on her second trip to Liverpool ON
Saturday. ""
SIt Is now said the President has decided
not 70 issue an extradition warrant aeainsr
Charles Vogt, the alleged Belgian murderer.
~The mercury reached OF decr.>. A.. -