The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-01-22

BOldIy Us bhe Diue-nOaCu DdObleI
across the way" and charges him with
running his arms to the shoulders in
the filthy muck of rotten political
fraud" His friend, not to be Outdone
in energy, replies, and says that "the
flannel -mouthed poll parrot of the
adulterated Spirit is liar, villain,
and candidate for the gallows."
Our beloved country is safe while
these pure and able men control the
formation Of public opinion.
Jones and his wife we're always quar-
reling about their comparative talent
for keeping fire. She insisted that
just so surely as he attempted to ar
range the sticks with the tengs he
put the fire out. One night the church
bell sounded the alarm of fire, and
Jones sprang to his fire bucket, eager
TO rush to the conflagration. "Mr.
Jonesr' cried his wife. as he reached
the door, "Mr. Jones, take the tengs!"
A fellow has been blowing out the
gas again at Auburn. His room was
broken into in time to save his life
In the morning he came down and re-
marked, "That gas must have leaked
considerably last night" Upon being
assured that it had, he innocently in
CURED "Did it run over and spoil the
carpet anywhere"
A Troy man spent three quarters of
an hour the other evening. in trying to
pick up piece of moonshine from his
door step, which he fondly fancied to
be a newspaper. His afflicted wife
came out, brought him to conscious
ness by the aid of loose fence picket,
and steadied his tottering steps into
the house.
A Kentucky man set out to husk
eighty bushels of corn the other day,
but right in the busiest part of the
task he was called off to shoot a man
who had proposed elopement to his
wife. He therefore fell short two
bushels.
A member of the history class in
large school near Springfield, recently
closed recital of the pioneer work of
Columbus by saying that che did net
know the vast Importance and magni-
eude of his discoveries until after his
DEATH"
A public lecturer, who had never
known just what his wife thought of
his talonts, one day informed her that
he was to lecture in Boston. "In Bos-
tonp' she exclaimed: I'm so glad, for
l always did hate those Bostonians?"
An instance of throwing ones self
about was witnessed few evenings
ago at a party in the case of n young
lady, who, when asked to sing, first
tossed her head and then pitched her
voice.
The marriage ceremony among the
bushmen of Australia is a very simple
and don't cost cent. The man Sc
lects his lady love, knocks her down
with club, and drags herto his camp.
An Irishman recently soliloquized
"What waste o'money to be buying
mate when yeu know the half of it is
bone, while you can spind it for rum
that hasn't bone in it.
"There's one thing" said a gentle
man Mt a race, 'that nobody can beat,
and that is time" Fudge" said a
bystander, "every drummer in the
land beats time"
Courting is not much INDUCED in
Kentucky, from the fact that the old
man is liable to enter the room with
preacher and shotgun and get up a
wedding.
An Irish editor says that, "In tho
absence of both editors, the publishers
have succeeded in securing the services
of a gentleman to edit the paper this
week"
Saith the modern belle, hampered
by weak treasury: "Dresses are long
and boots are worn high; stockings
can do without, but earrings l must
have"
Lewis county, New York, has so
many bears running around nights
that the girls fear to go ont. The idea
of being hugged sets them into a cold
chill.
1t is now claimed that the architect
of the great "Chinese wall" was wo-
man; but a woman wouldn't do any
thing to keep men out in that way.
A French widower says that when a
Brenchman loses his wife, it is at Erst
a duty to cry over his loss, and then it
becomes habiC and finally pleasure.
New York brides throw a boquet at
the groom as the ceremony concludes
After a week or two she finds the cof-
fee-pot better weapon.
Secretary Boutwell, has sister a