St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-07-25
st. cSuhnsburp Galedunian.
st. John.bury, VT. Friday, July 90, 1873
Wit and Humor.

A new book is in press entitled The
Brides and Widows of the Bible. 1t
is thought it will be popular with
young men.
New Jersey people don't say liar"
right out, hut remark, "Sir, you remind
me of nv lamented brother. who could
pervert truth with the greatest ease.
Twenty five tons of stoves descended
from the fifth story to the basement of
Chicago store lately. without stop
ping to take breath. The floors all got
ont of the way.
"Bitten hv an alleged mad dog" is
the mild way in which II is put III Bal
timore, to avoid hurting the dogs feel
ings. should he merely he labOring un-
der a temporary alteration.
An Indiana editor il said to have
played few tunes upon an old banjo
under his own window, and then in the
next issue of his paper thanked the
serenadcr for delightful music.
An ingenious person who for reasons
peculiarly his own, does not intend
visiting the sea shore this summer, says
that by placing large sea-shells about
his pillow. he goes to sleep with the
sound of distant ocean singing III his
ears, and wakes up refreshed as by
plunge i'll the surf.
A little three-ycar old girl, who did
not want to kiss the family good night,
but was obliged to do it las a means
of discipline" went through the per
Torrance conscientiOusly, and as she
kissed the last one she heaved a sigh of
relief, and exclaimed, Amen"
Cannot something he done to pre-
vent Young ladies from being insulted
on our streets at night r. asks Cincin-
matt paper There can. Just have the
girls mother tuck her into her little bed
about eight o'clock in the evening, and
lock the door on her.
One of two buxom Misses of gener-
GUS growth who were examining va
riety of those feminine adornmentS
called hats in a shop window, was
heard to exclaim Il do 50 love hat
that makes me look real sassy" We
hope our milliners will appreciate the
delcacy of the taste that requires such
Il work of art.
A Kentucky farmer refused to look
at simple sewing machine recently.
as he always ''sOwed wheat by hand"
He is related to the man who didn't want
a threshing machine on his farm for,
said he, "give me Il harness-tug or
barrel stave. and can make my fami-
" toe the mark according to law and
Scripter."
While party of Young men were
serenadimg Mr.. Bloom of New Orleans. /.
the other night. that gentleman ap-
peared and made speech i'll which he
alluded to an old and faithful shot gun.
He was heartily cheered by the crowd. /
and several times shot at, but he es
capped injury and managed to distribute /
about four handfuls of buck shot pretty .
evenly among his admirers.
Under the head of Amusing the Ba-
bics," fond PARENT" has this to say.
among other things: MY baby, not yet
three years old. is supremely happy if
allowed piece of paper, spread over
a cane-seat chair, and all ivory knit
ting needle, with which she punches
holes to correspond with those i'll the
chair Under similar circumstances
the majority of babies would give
pleasing and exciting variety to the
performance by thrusting the knitting
needle into their eyes, or up their small
noses. r
A st. Louis paper has received let
ter from a female cousin now going to
school at Vassar College, and as the
epistle contains information Of n start
ling character. il is thought best to
publish part of it. After u request to
send her down a box of soft slate pen
ellis, and gum drops to eat, she says: l
1--WE do have such fun here. All the ,
girls are made to participate i'll out
door exercises and we row on the lake, I
ride horseback, turn handsprings, run 1
foot races, and have heaps of fun.
Belle Hastings can climb n thirty foot {
smooth pole i'll two minutes. Nell vi
Wan (you remember herr can turn
handspring and not make Il wrinkle i'll
her dress. put beautiful head on
Mary Dodge, yesterday. in the boxing
room"