davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

RAPID TRAVELLING An examination
of the nine great railways which tcrmin-
ate in London shows that the average
rate of speed at which the quickest ex-
presses travel is forty-seven and three
quarters miles an hour. Two lines only
excel this. The ten o'clock Northern
train from London to Peterborough runs
the distance of seventy-six miles and
a quarter at the rate of ffty-one miles
an hour. But the broad gauge west Of
England trains on the Great Western
beat even the Great Northern. A train
makes the run from Paddington to SWIM
don, seventy-seven and quarter miles.
without stopping, in three minutes less
than an hour and half this is uni
form pace of fifty three and a quarter
miles an hour. The Great Northern
falls off its pace after it passes by
Peterborough, and travels from Gran
then to York at under forty-fve miles
an hour. The Great Western falls off a
little from Swindon to Bath. But the
journey from London to Bath by the
|: 45 train is the quickest in the world.
The distance is one hundred and six and
three-quarters miles. 1t is timed for
two hours and thirteen minutes, includ-
lug ten minutes at Swindon. The run.
ming time is, therefore, something over
fifty-two miles an hour. The fastest
time anywhere on the Great Eastern is
forty-one miles an hour. The London
Daily News gives many other figures
comparing the speed of different roads
instancing some trains that run as slow
as thirty three miles an hour. The
Great Eastern is the slowest, and tn,
Great Western the quickest of the rail
ways.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
A circus in an old graveyard made

A circus IN an old graveyard made
West Chester, Pa, sad the other day.
A Wisconsin man was fined SIS for
cutting off cats ears with jack-knife.
"He fell down dead and expired in
two minutes, says Georgia paper of
the death of negro.
A Western paper remarks that "some
young ladies are as hard to understand
as the new postal law"
An Iowa merchant won't advertise in
the papers, but paints on the fences.
60 two Aliens for yer dri goods
Henry Ossian Flipper Phebus, (Pha-
bus, what name y colored citizen has
just been appointed to cadetship at
West Point.
Kate Williams of Peoria, ILL.,, limited
her lover to two kisses. but he rashly
snatched q third and she knocked him
down.
Chicasaw County, Iowa, has just re-
ceived its first piano, and one of the
boys there denounced it as ''the ALFRED
est fiddle you ever see"
It is unlawful to give a fellow-c -chewer
chew of tobacco. The revenue laws
forbid any one to "sell or dispose of to-
bacco in any form without paying Ii
cense."
A Rochester, N. Y. woman worked
three hours to throw the freshet out of
the kitchen window as fast as it came in
under the floor, but she finally gave it
up in disgust.
Didn't you tell me, sir, you could
hold the plow % said farmer to a green
lrishman, whom he had taken on trial.
''Arrah, be easy. now" said Pat. "How
the deuce can | hold it. and two horses
drawing it away from me ?-But give il
to me in the barn, and be jabbers, II
,, hold it with anybody p
, A Sunday school scholar, only six
years old, was asked by his teacher
'why they took Steven outside of the
city to stone him to death? The little
fellow was silent for moment. as though
absorbed with the problem, when, bright
ening up suddenly, he replied, $50 they
could get better crack at him."
There was a terrible thunder storm
here last night says the Danbury News
and in the mail this noon there wer
letters from nine different lightning-rot
men,, inquiring if there was any kind o
an opening here for them. We dom
knew but that an opening could be mad
for them if they We're here, as the fros
is not deep.
7 The temperance cause in Kentuck
] has been somewhat set back by the an
nouncement that one of the few waite
drinkers in that State has just discover
ed at the bottom of his well the body {
a neighbor who disappeared four year
ago; and the majority of the peopl
). have resolved to stick to whisky and le
If wells alone.
Of Salt Williams, of New York, havin
ir been On three days bender in Ne
:: York, strolled into an intelligence ofit
:. and asked:
!; Is this the intelligence office 2
J: Yes said the keeper
n What is your fee 2 inquired Salt
T. and upon being informed he threw dow
a one dollar bill.
We'll, asked the proprietor, VIII;
IN IN information do you want?
i want you to tell me, suffered Sal
where the devil | have been for the pa
three days.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

HIGH BoNNETs.-We go to church.
And we sit in back seat. And between
us and the preacher are twelve seats.
And on these seats sit twelve ladies.
And on each of these ladies' heads is a
hat. We can only refer to the hats. The
one covering the lady Immediately before
US is high. and obscures our view of the
minister; the view of number one is OBJ
scured by number two's hat, and so on.
Number twelve has clear view of the
preacher, but nervously moves her head
from side to side; this Inconvenience
number eleven, who moves her brain-box
also; number ten follows suit, and SO dc
all of US in turn-but have Immediately
to shift again. Now these twelve heads,
moving continually from side to side
also irritate the poor parson (as do alsc
half the other heads in the congregation
and some cure must be found. We de-
sire to see all hats, bonnets and head
dresses left in the hat room at our church
or put in the pocket, or in the muff
or under the seat, or on each lady,
thumb-during all future services
Society Talk.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

BENEVOLENT KLEPToMANIA-AN New
York servant girl has been arrested for
stealing large amount of property from
the boarders at house where she work.
ed The boarders were rich and she did
not spare them, but she took nothing
from the keeper of the boarding house.
for she was poor, and could not afford to
lose her property. The girl pawned the
stolen goods and actually gave the mon
ey she received to poor people, keeping
none of it for herself as the detective
learned who examined the case. Wheth-
er this girl should be applauded as a
model benevolent institution, we leave
our readers to settle among themselves.
If we must have Kleptomania among our
fashionable diseases, it is undoubtedly
better that it should take the benevolent
| turn
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

METEMPsYCHosIs.- gifted Sar-
gent S. Prentiss once gave a sumptuous
dinner to some friends at hotel in
vicksburgh. Early III the evening a
stranger entered the room by mistake.
Prentiss courteously invited him to join
the party. Before long the strange guest
began boasting of how much he had
drunk during the day--a cocktail here.
a smasher there. and so on, apparently
without end. At length Prentiss inter.
rupted him.
"sir," said he. 'do you believe in the
doctrine Of metempsychosis 2"
Il don't know was the reply, land
l don't see as that has anything to do
with what we were talking about
1T has, rejoined Prentiss, much
much every way. have firm faith in
that doctrine | believe that in the next
life every man will be transformed into
the thing for which he has best qualified
himself in this. In that life, sir, you
will become corner groggery "-Bench
and Bar.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
SECRETS OF HEALTH.

Keep warm.
Eat regularly and slowly.
Maintain regular bodily habits.
Take early and very light suppers.
Keep clean skin.
Get plenty of sleep at night.
Keep cheerful and respectable compa-
ny.
Keep out of debt.
Don't set your mind on things you
don't need.
Mind your own business.
Don't set yourself up to be sharper
of any kind.
Subdue curiosity.
Avoid drugs.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
1 WONDER WHY.
BY NJ D. BRlSE.

wonder why this worlds good things
should fall in such unequal shares;
Why some should taste of all the joys,
And others only feel the cares
wonder why the sunshine bright
Should fall in paths some people tread,
While others shiver in the shade
OF clouds that gather overhead
wonder why the trees that hang
So full of luscious fruit should grow
Only where some may reach and eat,
While others faint and thirsty go I
Why should sweet flowers bloom for some,
For others only thorns be foundl
And some grow rich on fruitful earth,
While others till but barren ground
wonder why the hearts of some
O'erfiow with joy and happiness,
While others go their lsnely way
Unblessed with aught of tenderness!
wonder why the eyes of some
Shonld ne'er be moistened with tear,
While others weep from morn till night,
Their hearts so crushed with sorrow here
Ahl well; we may not know indeed
The why's, the wherefores of each life
But this we know--theres One who sees
And watches us through joy or strife.
Each life its mission here fulills.
And only He may know the end,
And loving Him. we may be strong,
Tho storm or sunshine He may send.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

No POSTAL CARDS YET-Postal cards
and May day were to come together this
year, but they did not The postpone
ment is not on account of the weather,
but because the cards are not yet printed.
None have been printed because the stock
was too light, the plates twisted. the
printers green, and the ink too thick.
When these little hindrances are all
overcome. the Morgan Envelope company
of Springfield will execute its five mill
ion contract In the meantime we do
not see why the whole thing might not
be slmplifed by the people using any
card they please of a designated size
If the government gets the one-cent post
age, what more does it want ?-N. II.
Telegraph.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

THE CARAT.-Probably many people
have speculated upon the precise mean
ing Of the word "carat.' 1t is an i'm
aginaly weight that expresses the fine
ness of gold, or the proportion of pure
gold in a mass of metal thus, an ounce
of gold of twenty-five carats fine, is gold
of which twenty-five parts out of the
twenty-four are pure, the other two
parts being silver, copper or other metal.
The weight of four grains, used by jew
elers in weighing precious stones and
pearls. is sometimes called diamond
weight. the carat consisting Of four nom
inal grains. little lighter than four
grains Troy, or sevcnty-four and one-six-
teenth grains being equal to seventy-two
grains Troy. The term of weighing car
at derives its name from bean, the
fruit of an Abyssinian tree called kuara.
This bean from the time of its being
gathered, varies very little in its weight,
and seems to have been, from very re-
mote period. used as a weight for gold
in Africa. In India, also. the bean is
used as weight for gems and pearls.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
BY JOHN G. SAKE.

~ JOHN IT, SAKE
"Good luck is all" the ancient proverb breaches
But, tho it looks very grave and wise,
Trust not the lazy lessons that it teaches,
For as it stands the musty maxim lies
That luck is something were a truer story,
And in life's mangled game of skill and luck,
The cards that win the stake of wealth or glory,
Are Genius, Patience, Perseverance Pluck
To borrow still another illustration,
trihe more specific and precise:
Small chance has luck to guide the operation,
When cunning wit has loaded all the dice
The real secret of the certain winner
Against the plotting of malicious Fate,
Learn from the story OF gaming sinner,
Whose frank confession will here relate.
''In this 'ere business, as in any other
By which chap an honest living earns
You don't get all your science from your mother,
But as you follers it. you lives and learns!
"And I, from being much behind the curtain,
And getting often very badly stuck,
Finds out at last there's nothing uncertain
As trusting cards and everything to luckl
$50 now, you see, which naturally enhances
That faith in Fortune which used to feel,
takes good care to regulate the chances
And always has a finger in the deal"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

The Lewiston (Me.) Journal says
that Baptist clergyman from the rural
districts visited Lewiston not long since
for the purpose of listening to the Jubi-
lee Singers. He proceeded to Lyceum
Hall, bought ticket, went in and took
his seat. Pretty soon lot of ballet
girls came out on the stage and began
hopping about in wanton attitudes. Our
ministerial friend thinks it very queer
and asks his next neighbor: "Are these
the Jubilee Singers % Jubilee Sing
ers-of course not. this is Prof Hum
drums ballet and opera troupe. The
Jubilee Singers sing at City Hail." The
reverend gentleman Immediately upon
gaining this information shook the dust
of that place from his feet.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

The NeUs says that one of the Dan
bury voters was unable to attend the
polls at the recent election. but sent his
vote up by neighbor's little girl. He
was very much surprised to learn that it
was not received. He told the little
girl that it was quite evident the tradi-
tions Of our fathers were forgotten, and
that the country was going to the bad
with unreasonable velocity.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

To CLEAN GOLD CHAINs.-Put the
chain in small glass bottle with warm
water, little tooth powder and some
soap. Cork the bottle and shake it for
minute violently. The friction against
the glass polishes the gold. and the soap
and chalk extracts every particle Of
grease and dirt from the interstices of
chain of the most intricate pattern;
rinse it in clear cold water, wipe with a
towel, and the polish will surprise you.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
MARRIAGE MAxIMs.-A good wife i

MARRIAGE MAxIMs.-A good wife is
the greatest earthly blessing.
A man is what his wife makes him.
1t is the mother who moulds the char
acter and destiny of the child
Never make remark at the expense
of the other; it is meanness.
Never part without loving words to
think of during the absence. Besides,
it may be that you will not meet again
on earth.
Never manifest anger both at once.
Never speak loud to one another un.
less the house is on fire.
Never reflect on past action which
was done with good motive, and with
the best judgment.
Let each one try to yield oftenest Il
the wishes of the other, which is the mu
tual cultivation of an absolute unselfsh
ness.
Never find fault, unless it is perfectly
certain that fanlt has been committed
and even then prelude it with kiss.
Never allow request to be repeated
Il forgot is never an acceptable excuse
Marry in different blood and TEN
permanent from your own.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
THE LITTLE SAILOR.

Baby is a sailor boy,
Swing, cradle. swing;
Sailing is the sailor joy,
Swing, cradle, swing.
Snowy sails and precious freight,
Swing, cradle, swing,
Baby S captain, mother IS mate,
Swing, cradle, swing.
Never fear, the watch is set,
Swing, cradle, swing;
Stormy gales are never met.
Swing, cradle, swing.
Little eyelids downward creep,
Swing, cradle, swing;
Another is the cove of sleep,
Swing. cradle. swing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

be long in the land with her old grand
father of husband With what feel
ings of tenderness must she recall those
sweet lines
Be kind to thy mother, not many may know
The depth of pure motherly love;
The wealth of the ocean lies fathoms below
The surface that sparkes above.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

The silk manufacture of America has
reached an extent of which few are
aware. From a mere experiment, ten
years since, it has suddenly assumed
really vast proportions, and promises to
become one of the leading pursuits Of
the country. According to the lately
issued reports of the Silk Manufactures
Association of America. it appears that
S3O,00O,OOO is the amount of capital
invested. Sixteen thousand operatives
are employed, who earn SS.000,O00
wages, and the products of whose labor
amount to between S30.O0O.000 and
S4O,O0O,00O. This manufacturing in
terest has its center in California, and
its prosperity is lagely due to the labor
of Cinnamon, and the undoubted enter
prise of the Californians.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

It is said. in illustration of the great
velocity of the winds in Wyoming Ter
ritory, that gentleman in Cheyenne,
losing his hat in the street. rushed to
the telegraph Office and telegraphed to
Denver, Col, requesting that his hat
might be stopped there, but was lmme-
diately informed that it had just gone
by. going southwark.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

Dan Nichols has made. the present
season from l22 trees. on the farm be-
longing to John w. Hartshorn, on Pond
Hill, Lunenburg, 400 pounds of sugar.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
ANTOINE WIERTZ.

Story ota Marrelous Genius-A Child
Artist- The Wooden Frog-A Natm-
raj Musician Working Under Diff
culttes-.l Const steat Decotee.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

A lady residing in Dexter, Me, owns
a robin which has been in her house for
sixteen years. and is now apparently as
smart as ever he was. sings as much. as
loud and as sweetly. and to all appear
ances is good for several years to come.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

A Troy dentist became emotiOnalty
insane while repairing front tooth for.
a pretty woman. and kissed her. She
told her husband. and he went around
the next day and borrowed $500 Of the
dentist on long time. .ss
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

CURIOUS ANTIPATHIEs.-Its seems GER
tain that in some cases the dislikes to
particular objects, and even sounds,
which we are won't to ascribe to affecta-
tion. are very genuine and deep seated.
A certain clergyman. we are soberly in
formed, always tainted when he heard
particular verse in jeremiah read; and
another case was even still more unfor-
tunate, being that of an officer who could
not stand the beating of a drum, and
eventually died of it. One man would
fall down at the smell of mutton, as
though deprived of life; another could
not eat a single strawberry and anoth-
er's head became frightfully swollen if
he touched the smallest particle of hare.
Orila speaks of painter named Vim
cent, who was seized with vertigo when
ever there were roses in the room. Hip
pocrates instances one Nicanor who
swooned whenever he heard the fute.-
Boole himself, in spite of his philosophy,
fell into syncope whenever he heard
the splashing of water. The Duke
d'Epernay swooned at seeing a leveret,
though hare took no effect upon him
which is as much as to say that he was
frightened at pony, but not at horse.
Tycho Brahe tainted at the sight of a
fox, Henry III at cat and Marshall
d'Albret at a pig Chambers Journal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

An editor of one Of our exchanges
says that some folks think editors have
nothing to do but to work for other peo-
pie. He claims that an old fellow wrote
him the other day, stating that he was
getting up book on the palezoic age,
and wanted to know if the editor couldn't
contribute something The editor replies
in his newspaper by saying that he is
getting up victuals enough for square
meal, and wants to know if his palezoic
friend can contribute anything to that.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

Memory is the treasury vf the mind
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

The West Concord mill company,
whose wooden factory was burnt few
months ago. has gone into bankruptcy.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

A Chicago judge has discovered a fine
distinction for the benefit of hotel pro-
prietors. to the effect that an inn-keeper
is not responsible, in any degree, for
losses of property by regular "boarders"
in his rooms, although he is for similar
losses sustained by ''guests." There is
surely something wrong in the wind,
when George Francis Train can be tried
for being a lunatic, and such judge as
that chap in Chicago, isn't put into Bed
lam. 1t would be interesting to know
where this judicial maniac draws the line
between guest and ''boarder, at
what period of stay at a hotel one passes
from the former condition to the latter.
in the opinion of this legal zaney. The
thing seems preposterous, but it is true.
such decision has been given and it
wasn't Doesticks' old friend, Damphool,
who gave it, either, but an irrational be-
ing named Boyden.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
B UsLNESS DIRECTORY.

GEORGE =. BOOTH,
DAINTER, GLAZIER, GRAINER AND PAPER
Hanger. All work warranted. Saws filed and
set Burton Vermont. 2-l5 lyo
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19
MODERN DICTIONARY.
Water-A clear fluid once used as

w ater-A clear nuld once uSeQ as q
drink.
Honesty-An excellent joke.
Tongue-A little horse that is contin-
ually running away.
My dear-An expression used by man
and wife at the commencement of quar-
rel.
Bargain-A ludicrous transaction, in
which each party thinks he cheated the
other
Doctor-A man who kills you to-day
to keep you from dying tomorrow.
Wealth-The most respectable quail
ty of men.
Esquire-Everybody, yet nobody,
equal to Colonel.
Jury-Twelve prisoners in box to
try one or more at the bar.
States Evidence-A wretch who is
pardoned for being baser than his COM
rades.
Modesty-A beautiful little flower
that fourishes in secret places.
Lawyer-A learned gentleman who
rescues your estate from your enemy and
keeps it himself
The Grave-An ugly hole in the
ground which lovers and poets wish they
were in, but take uncommon measures
to keep out of.
Money-The god of the country.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-05-19

Govern your temper,