The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-05-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

Be temperate in diet = our first pa
rents ate themselves out of house and
home.
1t makes all the difference if you put
Dr. before instead of after man $
name.
"a bumper at parting as the drunk
en- man said when he ran up against
the post.
They say crocodiles do not really
weep; we know of sailor, though,
who has seen whale blubber.
Sunday is the strongest day, because
all the others are weekdays; yet, if it
is the strongest, why is it so often
broken
A correspondent of Boston paper
wants the churches either to use sour
wine or colored water at the commun-
ion services, and to abandon the present
heavy spirituous liquors.
An unclaimed ear has been found in
the streets of Middletown, n. Y, and
the village clerk advertises that the
owner may recover it on proving prop
erty and paying expenses.
"Mamma, a brooklet means little
brook, doesn't it; aud an eaglet little
eagle :" yes, my darling" ''Then,
ma, does an eyelet mean little eye,
and hamlet little ham -
A bottle of anise seed oil fell from a
shelf and was broken as to its neck,
and the ingenious reporter soon had the
item served up as the mysterious suicide
of Miss Annie c. Doyle.
Philadelphia courts having declared
that steam whistles must not be blown
within the city limits, several factories
have put in gongs which can be heard
two miles off. 1t is a great improve
ment.
Mr.. Gladstone Tin his beautiful vale
dictory addressed to the University of
Edinburgh mentioned that among the
Greeks ugliness was regarded as kind
of sin. l have heard strong-minded
ladies assert that in America there ex-
lists similar superstition.
"One ought, every day." says Goethe,
cat least to hear little song, read a
good poem, see fine picture, and if
possible, speak few reasonable words. :"
l always do this. sing and read
something of my own, look into my
glass, and remark how very superior l
am to the rest of creation.
A stingy man who pretended to be
very fond of his horse, but kept him
nearly starved, said to friend, "You
don't know how much we all think of
that horse. shall have him stuffed so
as to preserve him when he dies"
"You'd better stuff him now" retorted
the friend, $50 as to preserve him liv-
ing
Some boys dropped an anvil weigh
ing two hundred pounds out of fourth
story window on the head of a negro
who was passing, and he had them ar
rested. He said he was willing to let
the boys have fun, but when they jam
med a gemmen's hat down over his
eyes, and spoiled it in that way, the
law must take its course.
A pretty girl of Chicago recently got
married. The day following she re-
turned to her fathers house. When
he inquired what was the matter he
was informed that " Frank hair didn t
curl naturally, but that the curls were
the work of the barber" She has ap-
piled for divorce. Undoubtedly she
will get it, for Frank was guilty of m ost
cruel deception.
An engaged young gentleman got
rather neatly out of little scrape with
his intended. She taxed him with
having kissed two ladies at some party
at which she was not present. He
owned it, but said that their united
ages made only twenty-one. The SIM
pie minded girl thought of ten and
eleven, and laughed off her pout. He
did not explain that one was nineteen
and the other two years of age. Wasn't
it artful.
Two darkies in the West went out
to hunt 'possums, and by accident
found a large cave, with a small en-
trance. Peeping in, they discovered
three young bear whelps in the interior.
"Look heah, Sam, while l go in
dar,' SAID one, "and gets de young
bars, you just watch heah for de ole
bar"
Sam got asleep in the sun, and when
opening his eyes, he saw the old bear
securing her way into the cave. Quick
as wink he caught her by the tail,
and held on like blazes.
"Hullo, dar, Sam, what dark de
hole dars"
"Lor' bless you, Jumbo, save your
self, honey; if dis tail come out, you'll
| find what dark de hole
Coop MAxIMs.-Persevere against
d;Scourapar,o Emp1ov 1eicura in