The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1873-10-11

TO "bank on" anything.
JAY Cooke was born in 1921. Now
Cooke is lost one.
JAY COOKE is not so "jay' as he was
and has cooked himself into "stew."
SEVERAL hundred bales of cotton are
loafing round the Pacific depot, wait
ing for ride.
TIE Central train going north yes
terday had eight passengers aboard
'Kase of the "canteen."
ENOUGH "chips off the old" blocks
of stone are lying around the court
house to macadamize half of Main
street.
1tSwAILOwING paper of needles was
what man did in East Dallas, yester-
day. Perhaps the coat-ing of his sto-
mach needed repairs.
A DALLAS man, yesterday, conf
menced to take down his lightning
rod and put it away until next sum-
mer
BRIcKI.AYERs are not necessarily
spectators, and yet, on brick at least,
they should know how to "run cor
ner"
ANEW engine for the Houston, Har-
risburg and San Antonio Railroad was
shipped to the former city yesterday,
oyer the Texas Pacific,
HENRY C1.Ews, the New York
banker, who recently went through
the broken bottom of the financial tub,
is, no doubt, now a re-cluse.
A FATHER up town gave mes
senger one dollar to hunt up his truant
boys and bring them home so he could
thrash them. The boys think that u
clear case of cash for hides.
THE duck season is coming round.
These are the ducks that have to be
shot with a gun, and not the ones that
have to be shot with arrows-cupid's
arrows, we mean.
WE never knew before the financial
panic whether the "bulls' of Wall
street were ''lougn or "short horns"
but we feel quite confident that the
majority of them are now short
horns
A MARRIED man made mistake up
town, the other day, by saying that the
surcst circulating medium he knew OF
was woman's tongue. The doctors
say his wife shouldn't see him any
more for the present, and he must he
kept quiet.
THE Dallas wife who is superstitious
enough to believe that to turn back af-
ter starting, is sure to be followed by
some fatality, forgot all about it when
she called her husband back the other
morning to give her some pin money.
YOUNG gentlemen and young ladies
who have the cdcoct1tes teiegrdphi can
have their taste gratifiod at the Tele-
graphic Institute, over Prather & Muir
phys. a lady's and gentleman's
hand can't paw the key ut the same
time.
On our informing an old lady at the
fair grounds, that in order to get
inside the Enclosure she would first
have to pass knight, she said she
guessed then she'd have to send home
or "kivers.'
SUNDAY was full of the gentleness
of a May morning. The boy that had
to be thrashed to be made go to Sun
day school, said that the temperature
of the day had nothing to do with the
temper of his daddy's cowhide; it was
the same rs it always had been.
WE published several days ago an
article from the Galveston News,
announcing the death Of Colonel Bat
tie, of the Shreveport Times. We are
gratified to be able to state now, on the
authority of dispatch from Mr. j. G..
Lewis, dated on Friday, that the rumor
was false, Colonel Battle 'still lives"
0UR neighboring town of Lancaster
has been incorporated, under the gen
eral law for incorporation of towns,
and have elected their officers, and de
fined their limits. The officers elect
are, N. X. Grove, Mayor VIM. H.
White, Robert George, James IL.
sSwindels, Josiah Porter and III. j..
Mofiatt, Aldermen, and J. p. Taylor,
Constable. Success TO you, neighbors,
and may your shadow never grow
less.
DEWITT TALMAGE says that "Jay
Cooke is one of Gods picked men,
Aud vet Talmage pretends to preach
the Gospel of Christ Pomeroys DEM
ocrat
The brilliant semi-maniac is right
after all, for worse '.picked'' man
then Jay Cooke never blew his nose.
Two "fathersr who would not "come
home to me, now" but stuck sinfully
to little brown jug until "the clock
I'm the steeplen struck nine yesterday
morning, went over the calvert near
the market house at that hour, and af-
ter they had ''lit" settled into sleep
with no more fuss than couple of
greenland cubs.
THAI live little daily, the Denison
News, places vs. under many ana cor
dial thanks for the following:
We are indebted 10 the Dallas Daily
Herald for late news. The Herald is
one of the best papers in the State and
q marvel Of newspaper enterprise. The
wonder with us is how such large
sheet, employing SO much talent, can
be sustained III an interior town OF
Texas. The citizens of Dallas should
feel proud of the Herald.
Lily Ruin
This swce; and lovely little child,
the Youngest daughter of our highly es-
fcpul<sl friends Mr.. and Mrs, j. w Swim