Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-12-19
A great crash--a steamboat towel.

4. Journalistic Indignation chol.
er
Engaging photograpber-"Just look q
little pleasant, Miss; think of 'im."
Six school teachers in one of the Cinci-
nnati schools spelled giraff with a."
The American man of leisure, says a
writer in Scri6ners for December, is a
sort of lost dog.
"A thing of beauty is jaw forever" as
an American husband said OF his hand
some, scolding wife. n
A Virginia husband opened his wife's
letters to see who was writing to her, and
he was sent to prison for ten years.
The Capital thinks that to go to bed
with your hat on and cotton umbrella un-
der your arm is to have the panic bad
The ladies are singing about "thc
| moth eaten hustle, the old iron hustle,
the cloth eaten hustle that hung on so
WELL"
| Although Susan B. Anthony rails at
! mankind, she knows perfect brick when
she sees one. She takes 'eln hot at the
foot of her bed.
A Sioux City justiceJf the peace, about
to marry couple, said "Hold up your
right hands. Now, what do yon know
about this case?"
May Heaven cherish and keep you
from yours truly, John Smith," was the
somewhat ambiguous closing Of love
letter recently received by young lady.
John Ripley, aged 991S, died at Bath,
| Maine, last week. Words fail to picture
our scorn for man who gets that far and
gives up without making an even centu-
! ry oft.
The hard times also affect the Indians.
One horse will now purchase two Apacha
women, and the owner Of the women will
throw in dog or two rather than spell q
| trade.
bachelor at a banquet in Newcastle,
| England, gave the following toast: "The
women and coal of Durham county-Oh,
| how desolate would the fireside be with.
| out them!'
A phrenologist told man he had COM
bativeness largely developed, and was of
combative disposition. That isn't So"
said the man angrily; "and if you repeat
it III knock you down"
Bailey Of the Danbury News, COM
| menced some remarks in a prayer meet
ing recently, by saying, solemnly, II
would not 1--we alwav; yet, when 1 get
pretty sick, always send for doctor"
Twenty-seven Nashville ladies' deter.
mined to practice economy, vowed not to
wear anything more expensive than cali
| co dresses to church; and they stuck to
| it as none Of them have attended church
since.
Mrs. Stewart, OF La Cross, didn't have
any appetite, and Mr. Stewart attempted
to crowd turnip down her throat His
philanthropic motives were misunder.
stood, and he went to Jail tor six long
months.
There is woman in the vicinity of
Severance who is IN the habit of marry
ing every man who comes along The
Troy Chief says she long ago got far be-
yond blgamy-way up somewhere in
trigonometry.
Upon the "outer wall' Of a female col
lege at Akron, O., the other morning,
was discovered, censpicuously displayed,
the sign Domestic Sewing Machines
Some of those specimens of total depraY-
ity known as college students did it.
Miss Sarah Savage, of Portland, wants
$4,000 from her mistress, who injected
vtriol into the optic as Sarah was peep.
ing through the key hole 1f the parlor
door. Sarah has quit the peeping busi-
ness, whether she gets her money or
not.
1t cost q Detroit punster four front
teeth to ask a mechanic named Wolf if he
wasn't "thc animal in sleeps clothing
so often referred TO-" Wolf answered
with stool, and now jovial fellow citi
zens know that lie does not like conun-
drums.
The grand fraternity Of the bulbous-
nozed and pimply faced will please muse
upon the fact that thecoffin in which an
old whisky sampler was buried some time
ago, at Fort Kearney, was taken up the
other day and found to be literally filled
with snakes.
Two Buchanan county (Mo.) youths
have just fought duel for the posses
sion of their common sweetheart land as
they were only wounded, the maiden re-
fuses 70 have either of them She don't
want anyone who can't hit the broad
side of n barn in her family.
Newly -ticdged B. A. to his college tu-
tor: II say old fellow, ever since I ma
circulated I've wanted to ask you what
tailor made your clothes" Tutor
"Humph! Fubbins in the High" B. A
"Much obliged; I'll take doocid good
care that he never makes miner
A disconsolate husband, advertising
his runaway wife, describes her as fol.
lows: blue eyes, red hair, prominent
nose, dressed in yellow kids, bronze
boots and blue sash" Who would
blame the woman for running off, if that
was all the clothing she had on at this
time of year.
The daughter of wealthy gentleman
in New Bedford, Massachusetts,. has
aroused the quietude Of that ancient town
by marrying her fathers hostler. There
is no help for it; the knot has been fast
tied by clergyman, and the honeymoon
| is running its course at sneighboring
seaport.
A western paper relates as an illustra.
ton of the power of love the case Of Miss
Gathering Oates, of Cornwall, England.
who travelled all the way to Tuolumne
county, California, to wed the lover she
she had not seen for eight years, and
found him welded to q Mexican ranch.
eros daughter, and the father of only five
children.
A nice question of taste: Jeweler-
What kind Of chain would you like?
Young Man-Wen I don't know, hardly.
What kind of chain would you think
l ought to have; that is, what style do
would you think would be the most be-
coming for a young man what carries
| groceries to some of the best families in
| the town.
Diggins dlew classical inspiration
from his thanksgiving dinner, and as
Margaret removed the remains Of the
turkey from the table, exclaimed: "De
| mortuis nil nisi bonum 1Etat l." "Yery
good" rejoined Mrs. D. Nothing Of the
dead but what is good. One year DID,"
.That is too LIBERAL" Mr.. D. replied.
'Nothing left of the dead but the bones.
Eaten al O'clock"
Stephen Girard's will prohibited cler-
gymen from ever entering the doors Of
Girard College. At recent visit Of the
Knights Templar of Boston to the insti-
tuition, one of the Knights, well known
rhvsiciNn who wcArs n white neck.tie