The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-04-19
WONDERFUL INVENTION.
Econ to .Iournali,m-B ogardus' Patent IRE
sistiblc Combination Kicker.
FROM the LoulsyiiI


/ have invented machine for the purpose
/ Of reducing the number Of exchange 1icnd,
now in existence. A. many Of your cX
changes know, exchange iiendS are persons d
great perseverance who continue to drop int,
The room where the exchanges of newspaper
office are kept, and wrc,tle with them under
the prctcnsc of searching for the Daily San
Francisco Cyylsher, or the Waco Veekiy B,Hl
Whdcker, or some other sheet that they offer t.
swear they can't find at the news-stands
These persons rs if their presence alone were
not sufficiently narrowing, have Il way Of sit
ting for at least half an hour at time and
rafting the papers in the exchange basket in
a manner evidently intended 10 cXasperatc
and confuse every one at work within range
of the noise. They do worse. When one of
them is informed that the paper wanted was mt
to be had, he always says, An old one will do
lust rs wcll;' and his brow darkcns with un.
manly suspicion When he is told that the pa
per he wants has poSttireiy been carried out.
These persons also make tedious and unnec.
cSsary explanations, consuming much valua.
bic time and wearing out the patience. They
know everything that's disagrecble, and prac-
tice it pcrsisently. All their faults, if written
here. would make this thing too long
The invention to which refer is known as
"Bogardus Patent Irresistible Combination
Kicker for the use of the newspaper offices"
and it is in every respect superior to the buzz.
saw now in use in some of the Western news.
paper establishments. 1t consists mainly of.
first, a large, strongly constructed chair in the
bottom of which are concealed numerous re-
springs of extraordinary power, sec
ond, an immense boot, made Of hard unyield.
ing substance, and cOnneCed, beneath the floor
with the chair; third a number of strong
L., ,,,,l La, H..
with the steam engine of the establishment
the boot and chair are also connected with a
powerful hook, which is concealed in the cell.
ing.
AS the unsuspeCting exchange tcnd ap.
he is requested to be seated in the .
chair, which is placed close to the basket in .
which the exchanges are kept. Just Us he .
settles in the seat and reaches for an exchange.
. member Of the editorial staff suddenly Jerks
convenient knob the powerful and wonder
ul springs in the chair begin to toss the tiend
n IA most extraordinary manner; portion of
he floor slides away, and the immense boot
wings into view, making kind of crashing
noise as though the building were falling.
n few seconds more the remarkable springs,
rue to their task, throw the aStOniShed tcnd
nto position which makes him face the door.
The concealed hook then drops from the cell
ng anu SEXES MN ny me COatCOllar, ana then
he boot, with the rapidity Of lightning, is put
where it will do the most good
When the boot has gone rapidly back and
Orh for about a minute, the machinery is
topped, the shattered tiend is lowered to Il lit.
er and carried out, and for six weeks he Ian
uiShes under the impression that he has been
ssaultcd from behind by the tuteary demon
t the press or some equally CXasperated mon
ter too hideous to describe He never returns
} the exchange basket
The Parent Irresistible Kicker is very eff,
.ctivc, and has been known to Shatter one of
,r. IIardng's celebrated interviewing cush-
ms at one blow. lanticipatc great demand
n it AS soon as its merits become known.
he specification ofthis patent is spring-work
t the chair, with the connected boot
j. c. BRAITHwAITE BOGARDUs.
LOUISVILLE, April s, 1873