The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-07-18
tFrom Goeko'a National Monthly for March.
WAS II DEATH.

The first words that were spoken nj
my birth came from my father rs hC
watched the nurse take me from the
doctors hands.
"Is il alive. doctor?"
ayes, but only for aiew hours there
Is not strength enough in It to last q
day.
But did live through tho day, and
then another, aud when week had
passed even the doctor began 10 ad.
nit might live little while longer,
think l must have been n quiet
child; know l was silent, thought.
iul girl, aud when | had grown to
womanhood, my hours were passed
far otteuer in quiet dreams than IN
social chat, or eompanionship. For !
did live on through the months aud
years, escaping the diseases so fatal 10
other children, and watched over 30
lovingly aud with such tender care as
TO miss such accidents, aud risks as
children run. And think the fact
that lived on from day to day was
Us surprising TO me as 10 any of the
family. Our good doctor never al
lowed day to pass by without his
call upon tue, and the wonder that, /
was yet alive seemed 10 flash from his
eyes into, my own.
So delicate a thing was life that IL
had for me no great charm or beauty
that made me dread 10 lose il; aud
death was so constantly in my mind
that the thoughts of il. as they lay in
my heart, were tinged with pleasant
ness and triendliness. Were Ito have
chosen, at this time, between the two
life or deaih-if l had chosen lite
'twould have been because | had but
yet seen so little Of il, not because |
feared or-douhted the soft touch OF
death. | recall many and many a
night when | had settled for sleep,
that iancied | could hear voice
telling me that, once / had closed my
eyes in sleep. they would verre-open
here. have hnrriedly sent my mind
among the dear ones loved, 10 see ii
aught was unexplained or incomplete,
and then closed my eyes TO what l
thought wonld be the sleep of death.
as calmly aud happily rs ever ] had
slept on my mothers breast.
When had grown older, these
thoughts aud iancies were still with
me, and At times seemed so true
and real that / have arisen from my
bed 10 leave a goodbye note for my
parents, and then closed my eyes TO
await the summons. And when the
mornings snn awoke me with his
warmth and glory, | die not laugh At
nay fancies OF the night before a. 81 a
foolish dream. but rather felt pleas.
anlly grateful for another day.
Despite the doctors doubts and
forebodngs, had grown 10 my
eighteenth year, and each succeeding
year after my tenth seemed To add a
little TO my strength. II was so very
slight an addition, however, that they
never said, "she is stronger" bat
.'she is not quite SO weak" Ay peo.
pie we're ricl-rny father the Wealth.
est man in our Village-and though
our honse was ever open, our yisitess
seemed TO be- mostly elderly people.
Uncles and aunis were with us 10
abundance, but | had no knowledge
Of my cousins except such as gained
from their parents talk. Perhaps the
house with It's invalid, did not offer
tempting hospitality TO noisy, healthy
children. aud yet no music was so
sweet to my ears as The laughter OF
the merry children that was waited
across our lawn from the street.
Those who recall the first eighteen
years OF their lives, who have been
strong and healthy, can not realize or
understand the life OF one who had
lived those years, and yet had never
made any childish friendships, never
heard any tender condolences, or built
any girlish romances on slight foun.
daii0n Of actual lIfel had built my
little romances, ! confess, but what
bad / TO know OF love? My castles
consisted OF strength TO walk among
howeTy meadows, 10 sit in groves and
watch the twiiteriDg birds, and of
days passed in cities sitting entranced
before beautiful pictures and liie-like
statues! And the fact that / had lived
so long was giving me confidence IN
looking forward 10 more Of life, and
with this thought Legan 10 look
upon myself as a prospective woman
and to ask questions OF my heart that
almost frightened il by their strange.
ness.
| remember when / asked myself
Chow do you lookY" and my anxiety
TO get before a glass and answer my
question. ! never had studied my
self before, aud what the glass had
told me had as much of pain as pleas
ure in IL. / was very white, very
thin, had large brown eyes, and ap-
burn hair. Yet my hair was luxuri-
ant and fell over my shoulders, aud
down my back in waves that shone in
the sun light like a sea of golden
brown; my eyes looked large because
my face was so white and thin, my
neck was round, and my mouth was
delicately cut as ii from chjseled mar
ble by masters hand. / heard
low laugh behind me, and, turning
quickly, found my father standing in
the open door with young man be-
side him whom he brought forward,
saying:
annie, let me introduce the son of
my old friend Judge Nichols. And
now, pet, while you welcome Robert
l will look for yo1r MOTHER"
recall him as he stood there while
our hands touched a moment. A
young man of two or three and TWEEN
ty, little above the medium height,
dark hair. dark eyes, and a physique