Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-08-03
PARAGRAPHICAL L.

Ole popularity about the Danbury Ne,cs
man consists in bis always having his funny
things happen on Monday. Query: Do
those Danbury folks sleep during the re-
msinder of the week?
One pleasant features OF the quarters pro.
vided guests at Hurricane Springs, is the
extreme thinness Of the partitions between
the rooms. Aman who spends few weeks at
those springs without having his stock Of
general information largely increased, Ger
tainly does not keep his ears open.
An exchange says: The princi pal of an
academy, who was very unpopular with the
young ladies, on the approach of thunder
storm very carefully insuluate his chair on
four pieces of glass, and then politely asked
one the girls to sit in his lap for ,afety.
"Well, no." said she; al think I'd rather be
struck by lightning"
The local of the Evansville Courier is
remarkably industrious youth. He wears
out a pair of sizZOrs every two months clip
ping paragraphs from the Nashville papers,
which paragraphs he uses as localism with
out a single alteration. How ever, his rea-
ders are greatly benefited by these clip
pings, which are in every way superior to
said locals original matter.
A couple of Nashville chaps attended
funeral a few days since, in g magnificent,
glt-edgad, high-priced vehicle belonging to
one Of our livery stables. Upon being ques-
toned as to what they paid for the use Of
this gorgeous establishment, one of the
chaps responded: sob, 1t didn't cost us
anything; we had made arrangements for
that carriage week before hand" Such
I've - nd
rare indeed.
John Paul, one OF the funniest of funny
men, who is sojourniDg at Saratoga at pres
ent, thus describes the entrance to the hotel
dining room of the Spriggins' family:
casually Mr.. Spriggins frisks in first, in a
sort Of I-psy-for-this style, and Mrs. Sprig-
gins, leading the little Spriggins' by the
hand, follows, with the grace and dignity of
q Christian mother conscious of trying tn
do her duty and satisfied with the way her
back hairs done up"
A st. Louis paper tells a story of Mis-
souri, youth who has been fearfully persecu-
ted by a married woman who loves him to
distraction. She has followed him every
where, and his parents hustled him off per the
Kansas Pacific road the other day; but be-
fore the train had gone ten miles the wo-
man burst through the door of the smoking
car, and flung her arms about the young
mans neck. He is now making arrange
ments for the purchase of burglar-proof
safe with duplex elliptic combination lock.
The Banners aside walker" is getting to
be very reckless joker. Yesterday, with
out giving any notice of his intention, he
hurled upon bis unsuspecting, confding
readers, this paragraph: NASHVILLE people
have pencHsnt for letter writing. A miss
always takes delight in receiving them. Let
Der have 'em." 1t was currently reported
on the streets yesterday evening, that two
lifelong subscribers of the Banner read that
paragraph and, after having its meaning
carefully explained to them, took to their
beds at once, and the indications now are
that they'll "neyer smile again."
Our musical critic has always had an idea
that he is considerable of horsemsD, and
he reads with great interest everything he
sees pertaining 20 Shorsefesh, In looking
over an agricultural paper last week, he
saw it stated that man could drive q
balky horse anywhere, by merely giving
him little corn to eat whenever he stopped.
A few days after, he hired an equine noted
for bis baking propensities, proposing to
ride a dozen miles into the country.
Putting bushel of shelled corn IN.
der the buggy seat, our musical
critic rode gaily forth, a sweet smile
resting on his innocent lips, and new car
rage whip grasped in bis lilly white hand.
He had gone but half q mile when his
horse stopped, and at once plunged into
pl ofound meditation. The musical chap
clambered out of bis vehicle, donated to
that noble brute half peck of corn, re-
sumed bis seat and moved bravely for
ward. His horse soon repeated the per-
formance, and tie persevering driver re-
pea ed his little game, and in this way the
beautiful sunshiny day passed. By sun
down his stock of corn was exhausted,
his horse had baked for the twentieth time
and be had four miles yet 10 go. he has
changed his mind about going any further,
and is now waiting for the new oats crop to
be threshed, when he hopes to be able to
toll that horse back to town again, though |
the agricultural papers didn't say anything |
about cats, !