The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-07-19
WIT AND WISDOM.

A SCRANTON household il enjoying an
era Of peace. The lady of the house put
her tongue 10 a fat iron to see il it was
hot.
IT 10 . remarkable fact that the moment
. woman writes letter she Is frantic to
put it into the post-ofice, although she
may have been putting OF the writing for
SIX months.
IT is suggested that persons who 20 about
with their Cashmere shawls turned inside
out to show that they are genuine, should
adopt the custom Of walkingon their heads,
10 show that their boots are soled.
BOsroS ladies' put on clean stockings
when they have their photographs taken
A philosopher Is studying out the reason
But the most interesting point of inquiry
is, how did the reporter learn the fact
MHES a fellow courts a girl he ought "
stick tO it-no matter how large her faith
er's feet are. The more feet the more acres
in prospect.
SUE BLAIK, Of Fond du Lac, Wis.
played her lover gene of chess the other
day to decide whether the wedding day
should be fixed Tor this year or the next
Sue desired more time but lost the game.
and must face the parson before next Jan
uary.
Now that ladies' fans have attained 4
useful size, it is suggested that fan parties
for the purpose Of winnowing wheat would
: ONE good in the country
"A sCBoOLBoY's composition on tobacco
This noxious weed was invented by dis
tinguished man named Walker Raleigh
When the people first saw him smoking
they thought he was a steamboat and ~
they had never heard " such a thing as a
steamboat, they we're terribly frightened.
A GENUINE Highlander, looking at a
print from picture by one Of the old mas
ters, in which angels were represented
blowing trumpets, inquired If the angels
played on trumpets, and being answeredin
the affirmative, made the remark "Hech,
sirs | wonder they dinna tax pair Of
guide stout bagpipe.
AMONG the replies To an advertisement
Of music for candidate for orgauist
music teacher, etc, vacancy having oc-
CURED by the resignation Of the organist
in Otfics. was the following Gentlemen,
| noticed your advertisement for an organ
list and music teacher, either Lady or gen
tlenan. Having been both for several
years, ] offer you my services
The following remarkable advertisement
no doubt refers to some printers appren-
tce. The reward offered is very fair
commentary on the present miserable sys-
TEN or want Of system OF printer appren-
ticeship Runaway Apprentice Josiah
Brown, an indentured apprentice 10 James
Marshall, ran away short time ago All
persons are hereby forewarned not to har-
bor him. Ten cents reward will be given
for his return to Mary A. c. Marshall, Ad
mmistratriX uf James Marshall deceased
An inscription ON monument la East
Tennessee, winds up with the following
touching obituary "She lived life Of
virtue, and died Of the cholera morbus,
caused by eating green fruit, IN the hope of
blessed immortality, at the early age of
p years, r-ynths and * days Reader.
Go tnou and do Likewise.
A sTONE-CCTrER received the following
epitaph from German. 70 be cut upon tine
tombstone Of his wife
Mine wife Susan is dead, II she hal
life till mex friday she'd been dead shust
two weeks. As tree falls SO must II stan
all tings is impossible init God
ANY one who visits Childwald, England,
can read in the cemetery, there, the fol
lowing epltaph
Here lies me, and my three laughter
Brought here by using Sciilitz water
II We had stuck 70 Ep-om SALTS
We Noudu't have been IA these here vaults
'AH, Pat, Pat, said a schoolmlstress t.
a thick headed urchin, into whose muddy
brain she was attempting to beat the alpha
bet, 3" I'm afraid you'll never learn any
thing Now what's that letter, eh N
Sure, don't you know, ma IN ~ replied
Pat
II thought YOU could have Iecollected
that
Why, ma am N
| Because j. has dot over the top Of IL "
Och, ma am | mind il we'll but sure
! thought it was a fly speck
well, now remember Pat its
You, ma am
"No, no not I but l.
Not |, but U. How's that III
Not u. but |, biockhead {"
20, yes faith, nov have IL. INA an.
you mean to say that you. not |, am I,
/ blockhead ~
Fool fool ~ exclaimed the pedagogy
uess, almost bursting with rage
''Iist as you Plaze, replied Pat fool
OF blockhead, it's no matter which YOU are
| IN ms - lpnO van .r.. fra. ~. uu-r,