Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1873-07-17
The Pleasures OF the Pie Me.
BY MAX. ADELER.

This is the season of the year when.
picnics are most frequent. For real
solid enjoyment we,for our part, must
prefer well conducted funeral to an.
ordinary picnic. You generally reach
the grounds about eleven O'Clock, and
the exercises begin with climbing a
hill, up which you are compelled 10
carry two heavy lunch baskets. When
you reach the summit you are posi-
lively certain the thermometer must
be nearly six hundred and fifty in the
shade. You throw yourself on the
grass, and in few moments brigade
of black ants begin to crani down the
back of your neck, while a phalanx OF
ticks charge up your trOwser leg. And
just as you jump up, your oldest boy,
who has been out in the woods, where
he stirred ~ yellow jackets nest,
comes in with his face and head sWelled
to the size of water-bucket; convey
ing the information that your other
boy, William Henry, is up tree and
can's get down. After laboring to re-
lease William Henry, the thermome-
ter seems TO have gone up TWO humid
red more degrees, and you think you
will take swim in the creek. While
you are in The water, young Jones
strolls out with Miss Smith, and un-
conscious of your presence they, sit
down close to your clothes, and engage
in conversation for three-quarters of
an hour, while you lie down in the
shallow stream, afraid TO bulge and
nearly killed with the hot sun. When
they leave, you emerge and find that
some wicked boy from the neighbOring
village has run off with your shirt and
socks. You fix up as well as you can,
and when you get back with the party
they are eating dinner from a cloth
laid on the ground. a spider is spin
ming cobweb from the pickIe,jar to
the little end of the cold ham; strad-
dlebugs are frolicking around over the
pound-cake, caterpillars are exploring
the bread plate, grasshoppers are
jumping into the butter, where they
stick fast, the bees are SO thick around
the sugar-bowl that you are afraid to
so near 1t, and there are enough ants
in the pie to walk completely eff with
it,. You take seat however, deter
mined to try to eat something, but yoD
get up suddenly-au at once as it were,
Tor you have set down on briar. Then
William Henry, who has qUafied an
unreasonable quantity Of lemonade,
gets the collie, and his mother goes
into Mysteries because she thinks he
is poisoned with p0kc-berries. You
lay him under an umbrella, and pro-
ceed to climb a tree in order to tx a
swing for the girls. After skinning
your hands tearing yOur troWseFs and
running your coat, you get to the top.
tie the rope and undertake to come
down on it. You do come down with
velocity, and your fingers rubbed en-,
tirely raw. Just then it begins TO rain
furiously, and the whole party STAN.
pedes to the depot for shelter. When
the shower slackens you 90 back to tht
ground 70 get the rope, aud just as you
get up i'll the tree the owner of the
place comes along with d gun and q
dog, and threatens to blow your brain,
out and eat you up if yoa don't leay.
Immediately. Then you come dow
with celeriiy, and get over the l.a.c.
as if you were in earnest. Going houl
in the train all the passengers regs,it
you, from your appearance, Is an g.
capped convict, Or Il luGatic who h,
broken from his keepers; and whel
you reach your home plunge into &;
shirt, cover your hands with court.
plaster, and register a solemn voW
never to go on another picnic. Ano
we are with you; we never will either