The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-11-05
SCRAPS.

- thAo OiDto' t,P
Every cord Of wood given to the
poor is recorded above " "a ''''''
Last words of Jack-"Tll be
hanged if I 60 up on that Plat
form" - 80 =. 80 y
You don't do that again." said
the pig to the ,boywho cut his tail
Off. ,..- ''', -
20 keep warm on cold day, the
women double the Cape and the
men double the Horn. .'' T. 1o>.
A Justice of the peace at Kansas
City puts it: 'cNow let the gaul
aarned jade vince '',':..'- -. =
Many man, who thought he had
made d bargain buying silks, found
that he had got. worstea. :A":.,..'
"A Georgia firm 4 n w'ill rnanufact pre-
paper from bahama Skins, ifthey
don't slip up before they get'at it.
IA Fort Pldn merchant advertises
his goods at oxyun. That, man has
always steereial eleaEasqafs asas14 1n4ewsReapers.
a young man who was accused
of; being loose in his habits went
out and got tight. !. ~
Observation-Disclosures is the IT,
tie by which a conjurer Of Harris
burg, Penn, chooses to advertise
him himself: self
When Jonah's fellow-passengers
pitched him overheard, they evil
aently regarded him as neither
prophet'nor loss.
J. The editor of a Nevada newspa-
per gives notice that he cannot be
bribed with a tive-cent cigar to
write fve-dollar puff.
q "The strongest propensity in a
woman's nature" says surly edit
OR, sis a desire to know what is
going on, and the next to boss the
job.S
Twas night. A warm couple
stood in the pale, cold mooubeams.
Their lips touched, and there was a
sound like COW hauling her hoot
out of the mud.
"A Scranton psper, in giving an
account of a shooting atfray, says
the wounded man is expected to
recover, as the pistol ball lodged in
his dinner-pail. ~ @t.a .'''.'.H. .'l
A reporter of a Louisville paper
recently found apocket-beok filled
with money, and ediately hand
ed it over to the police. The money
was counterfeit: ',n .". -.':'' 3
A Louisiana man puts a two
ounce can of nitro-glycerine inside
of a chicken, tosses the chicken to
an alligator, and the bayou which
once knew that alligator knows him
20 more. -
) "How does that look, eh ?" said a
big-fsted Wall street man to a
friend, holding up one of his
brawny hands. ''Tkat," said the
friend, CLOCKS as though you'd gone
short on soap.'' q
A Texas barber, who ornamented
his front door with white knob,
is said to have had no peace until
the last vestige of it had been shot
away by his sprightly neighbors,
who made use Of it as target.
The city carrier of a Missouri
paper, on publication day, seats
himself in the nearest saloon, and
in the course of a few minutes de-
ivers each subscriber. his paper,
thus saving time and shoe leather.
At a spiritual debate in Chicago
o Mrs. Severance excited exclaimed:
AsGivs me honesty, . or q give me
heHMY They were goipg5te fill a
portion of her order, When the con-
servators of the peace Inferred.
A Methodist clergyman gives, as
a part OF his experience, that SIN
less perfection are easily managed,
but that those of his flock who at
tain to it become thenceforward
exceedingly crooked and contrary
sticks.
= The power Of love receives a
fresh and striking illustration in
the case of the Milwaukee girl who
knocked her lover heels overhead
down flight of stairs because he
stopped kissing long enough to get
a good long breath.
The New Orleans Times gets off
the following bustling poetry:
Mary had little lamb
: With which she used to tussle,
She snatched the wool all of its back,
Amp stuffed it in her hustle.
The Ia nh soon saw he had been fleeced,
: And in passion flew; ' - 1858
But Mary got up on her ear
=: And stuffed the lamb in too.
Greensburg wants a directory.
It is nightly occurrence that atmany
of shen citizens cannot find the way
10 their homes. It will require al
peculiar directory to" elucidate the
intricacies of the streets Of the town.
on such occasions, however.
/ Sbor+ly,ofter the recent illness of