The Hawaiian gazette., 1873-09-24
The Cause Of Martial UnhaPplae...

There sre vital questions affecting tn,
welfare of society, underlying the subjec
of marriage, of which the world is gen
orally ignorant, and upon which the greai
} public educators of the day-the pres:
and the pulpit-are unpsrdonably dere
hct IN impsrting wholesome instruction
When we consider the long array o.
divorce cases that engage the attention Of
our courts, and the great multitude of un
divorced whose lives are fraught with
wretcheduess and misery unspeskable, we
are forced to the conclusion thSt there is
something radically wrong with our mar.
riage system, or rather that the system is
subject to abuses that ought to be cor.
rected.
We hold that there is no subject more
closely connected with the welfare and
happiness of the race than that sacred re
lation of the sexes upon which society is
based; and that whatever will add TO the
purity of this relation viii enhance the
harmony and happiness of all
We are well aware of the difficulties in
the way of treating this subject properly
in newspaper editorial, and also that
our mode of treating it may be consider
ed BY the general reader as somewhat of
departure from the usual routine of daily
journalism; but the Mercury never waits
for Others to lead the way in the express
sion of opinion on any subject of public
or vital interest.
Novelists generally bring their heroes
and heroines mp, through all sorts of tri-
bulatiOns, to the marriage altar, and there
leave them Then the elysium of their
heroes dreams is supposed to be realized.
But in real life, in unnumbered instances,
it is then that the trouble really begins.
A sense of absolute ownership in his wife,
coupled with that close and constant IA
niliarity, which IS apt to "breed con-
tempt soon changes John from the con-
siderate. gentle and affectionate loverinto
an Indifferent, thoughtless and often harsh
and cruel husband. And Jane soon finds
in the fading roses of her fresh young life
her sunken cheeks and brooding cares
that marriage has not crowned her DAYS
with the haleyon glory she anticipated
Now why should not John be the same
gentle lover after as before marriage and
why should the cauker of infelicity des-
troy the health of James body aud soul
If the union is well assorted one, and
lived out in its truest and highest sense,
they should both ripen into more perfect
beings. They should be lovers ever,
growing into that perfect union which nor
time nor eternity can destroy.
The trouble is, they are wholly ignorant
of the law of sexual attraction and repul-
sion. They do not understand that hus-
bands and wives, by too close and con-
slant physical relationship, may become
ike sponges or vampires, unconsciously
absorbing and feeding upon the vital mag
netism of their mates-the one growing
strong and robust, while the other wastes
away, wearied, careworn and, perhaps,
goes down to an untimely grave. The
law of the survival of the fttest and
strongest runs through all nature, and
this is no exception to the rule. 1t is dur
ing the hours of sleep, when the body is
in negative condition, that this exhaus-
tive process works most efFectually. One
rises from such a sleep, strong, refreshed, /
vigorous; the other languid and exhaus-
ted.
Thus it is that attraction, on the one
side or the other, and frequently with
both, becomes first indifference and then
repulsiou. The husband seeks enjoyment
with his club, or at the saloon, and seldom
goes home at night as long as there is any
other place to go to. The wife loses in
.eFest in her domestic duties. Goodness
and jealousies arise between them.
They imagine they are mismated; d.
Torce follows, and they go forth to seek
lew mates, with, perhaps, a repetition of
he same results when a proper know
edge of themselves, and the exercise of
he wisdom principle, would have made
heir union happy and lasting one.
1t is hard for those who have reached
II passed the meridian of life to change
heir domestic habits, and begin as it were
new. But with the young, just starting
IPou the marital voyage, it is just as easy
o start right as wrong. The inference
: plain; If they would have their we'd
led existence q well-sprng of perpetual
oE-preserve ever fresh the harmony and
IlOry of their early Observation-Disclosures
be progenitors of healthy and noble off
pring,-frst let them see to it that their
hoice has the sanction Of Judgments
ne of the intellect and reason as well as /
f sexual impulse,-and next let them re-
olive from the first that under no circum-
tances viii they occupy the same couch,
nd better not the same apartment, dur
lg the hours devoted 70 sleep. Here is
1e secret of much marital v-oe-she