Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1873-03-19
lis work. We have here on one page

ni6cont wood and type, the picture
and description of tho merino ram
Dictator (Seo page 1879 These
are put in the most extraordinary re-
lation. [Laughter.] 1t is like mix
ing politics with farming. Laugh
teri a.i
Look all through this book Look
at the picture of these bugs. Look
at these picturcs'of the fungoid series.
Here we have the fungoid spores, found
within bhghted lilac leaf; and the
mycelium and other fungoid forms
found on the tiber Of peach tree hay
ing the 'yellows.' [Laughter.] Now,
it is very evident when We send these
out we ought to send out at the same
time an Interpretation of them for
the benefit of the common people.
[Laughter.1 What have the people
done that they should be crucifed by
such public reports?
AID while we are meditating about
the new microscopic bureau, / would
like to take one more glance at the
book. Where, oh, where can / find
the proportions of the Chester White
sow, called Mary9 [Great laughter. ]
Only one year old! Bring your mi.
croscopic bureau. Observe the length
Of that inquisitive snout and the com
pound curl of that tail! daughter. ]
See the lengthening lusciousness Of
those lacteal glands! daughter. J.
But her name it is Mary Is there
a man who ever loved a Mary p
Laughter.] Let him construe our
beloved Constitution. Perhaps there
is some one here attached TO the Con-
stitution and to education who will
reproach me for not mentioning the
elophidien uillosum or the stenocordS
piaator of Beck. Laughter Will
the Scotch member from Kentucky
please explain this melodious termin.
ology which bears his name Laugh
ter f'
But, Mr.. Chairman, | have only
risen for the purpose of having the
House understand the astonishing
effect Of these agricultural reports, not
only upon the people in the country,
but upon the people in the city. !
acknowledge that the effect is differ
ent according to locality. Inow repre-
sent city, though by some mis- appre-
hension in the last campaign tho poo
pie OF New York State outsiue or ouI
grand metropolis voted for me to rep
resent them. / fell short in the coun'
try. [Laughter.] To be sure | car
ried that city by some twenty-five
thousand ! Though i may not, owing
to misapprehcnsions, be with you next
Congress, [laughter,] l must refer tc
the effect of these reports on the city
The effect upon the wicked city o.
Philadelphia, which acted so badly il
the late election, laughter, is especi
ally notable l refer to il for the pur
pose of calling the attention Of my
friend from Philadelphia Judge Kel
leyl to the dreadful consequences he
imposes upon his constituents in send
ing these reports into the heart O.
Philadelphia. Read very slowly, Mr.
Clerk, the extract ] send up from The
Sunday Dispatch of Philadelphia, show
ing the direful effects of these terrible
reports" taf
The clerk read econ erpressione) al
follows: sif ~ ea.1
HWe owe our thanks to Judge Kel
ley for the latest Patent Office report
We already have sixteen hundred o.
these interesting volumes in our littl'
library, but they have been read ant
reread so many times that we know
every page Of them by heart Thi
new volume came opportunely ant
gratefully on Christmas morning,an'
that night we gathered our little fam
lily around tho fire and read il through
TO them. The affecting tale entitled
Improvement in Monkey Wrenches,
seemed 10 touch every heart, laugh
teri and when We came to the china,
Of the little story about Reversible
Pic Boards there was not dry oy
between the front door and the stable
! Laughter.1 During tho reading Q
the piteous narrative entitled Gun
Washers for Carriage Axles, the Who'll
family gave expressions to boisterou
emotion, and the hired girl was so OK
cited that she lost her presence @
mind and went around to her mother
inadvertently with six pounds ofsuga
and butter kettle full Of flour, an
came home at midnight intoxicated
4 [Laughter] We can never sufficient
ly thank Judge Kelley for the innt
cent enjoyment thus furnished u.s.
The memory of that happy evenin
will linger in our minds very muc
longer than that hired girl ever lin
gers when she lights on lot of sui
stance which she thinks will suit th
f constitution of her aged parent
. (Great laughtcr.)
A little boy asked DR.. Burgess, th
preacher, if he would have light
J "No, my child" said the doctor, g
! am one Of tho lights of the world
~ wish, then" replied the boy, "yo
} we're hung at the end of the alley, ft
| o. . l.