The Van Buren press., 1873-01-28
Newly Married Men-What They Have
to Come To.

First just married; destined to lin
ger in clover, new mewn hay, and such
heritage from nine 10 twelve months.
Then
SECOND. Some black raseslly, stormy
night you are turned cut into the streets
and ponds and mill-rsees, or amid snow
eighteen inches deep, and drifting like
blazcs and told to run for the doctor
When you get home again, eight chances
to ten, a little rcd flannel looking thing
about the size ola big merino potato
awaits yoa They will call it baby ;
and packed up with it you will 6nl the
frat squalls of marrisa llfc--you can bet
on that.
Third. Paregoric and soothing syrup,
and catnip- tea, aud long flannel. and dis.
psr stuff. and baby calico--they will
come slong too; in fact, they will be-
come just as much at home in The house
as dinner. Then
Fourth. One Of these nights, in
The wee sma' hours ayont the twal',
YOU will turn out again Barefoot, an icy
disconsolats sense Of dampness all about
you, only , cotton shirt or such mat
ter between you and tho distressed open
nsss of a canc-seat chair, you will dis
tractedly rock that baby back and forts,
ard bob it up and down, singing, mean
while, with a voice like wild OK in {
slaughier-yarl;
Thi. thing is playing out. Mary
Lock y bye, baby. on tree. top,
or some such melody. And all the time
that baby yclls. Oh, doesn't he yell J,
Thils Mary Ann, up to her nose under
the warm bsd-covsrs, to help out every
now and then impsticn.ly puts In, just nj
tho wrong place. "Why don't you uot
him faster, Samuel r
And you trot him-oh how you do trot
him! If you could only tros his wind
out 20 far that be never could get any Of
it back again, or break his back, or neck,
or something, you would be immsasura-
bly, happy. but no. The little innocent
sesms tougher than an Inlia-ruhber car
spring.
Just as you are about giving up, con-
cluding that you mnst frseze, that there
will certainly have to be fpneral in the
house ins;dc Of thirty six hours, baby
willis from sheer exhaustion. and then,
with teeth chattering like a Mccormick
reaper, You crawl in by Mary Ann and
try to sleep again.
Fifth. Gradually you glide away into
4 tangled maze of ice, chamomilc, more
ice, skating weather,steam whistled-voic-
Cd babies, jockey club, sleigh rides. erin.
olne immense as the old ball ut Moscow,
Indian ambuseades. snowstorms, and for.
IS ether equally cheerful things, sudden
y-
Sixth A snort, thrash, q wild
throwing upward Of little arms and legs,
aud then, keen and shrill comes that ter
riblo "aa was! ! an w.aa H." again. ]
guess you waks up, don't youY
"Gst the paregoric and a teaspoon,
quick" says Mary Ann, in a sharp, stac
cato tone, and dom't you get it =
njast ,lfeo eishths Of Of = second you
are G-ecgn bepd on. there on the cold
floor ,l;opping parcsoric in n teaspoon
IInrry. Gracious li,tle Peter dcserib-
ing diabolc curves with all the arms and
legs he's got, and screaming one hun.
dred pounds to the square inch. and
Mary Ann rearing around there in The
bed making rocking chair Of her back
and yelling. BY, by o." like wild
Comancne on tho war-path Oh no ,
circumstances are not such as to make
you hurry any.
And then to think that as days and
perhaps years roll on, there has got to
bs more and more yet Of just such dis
tressed work
Nice, amt itf