davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

The Transcript says "Matrimony is
one of those lotteries that advertize a
prize in every package" But the prizes
sometimes make feller look blank.
Mother" asked youthful Boston,
ienne who was eating birds nest pud-
ding. "what kind Of a bird made this
pudding?'' II think the cookcoo bird
must have made it, was the quiet re-
sponse.
An Iowa farmer chewed the end of
his hoe-handle into splinters when he
discovered the tobacco plants he had been
assiduously cultivating for weeks were
nothing but .mullin stalks.
Even COWS have the ideas of poetical
justice. A thieving Mexican recently
killed a Texas cow for her hide, but
with the last expiring kick she streach-
ed him dead beside her,
1t was a Portland chap who, after
coming to railroad crossing the other
day, and reading the sign, 'Look out
for the locomotive" climbed to the top,
and on gazing down the track, wanted to
know, "Where'n thunder the old thing
was"
A lady was met on the street lately
by a gentleman friend, who gallantly
remarked MADAM, your face is full of
roses" thinking it was the wind that
gave the carnation. "Yes," interposed
an old bachelor standing by, ..and some
of them have been rubbed off the left
cheek.
, An old lady, walking with her two
grown-up daughters on moonlight night
displayed her knowledge of astronomy
by pointing heavenward, and exclaim-
ing: "Oh, ,.my dears, do look at them
beautiful stars, Juniper and March
Frenchman being about to remove
his shop. his landlord inquired the rea
son, stating. at the same time, that i
was considered a very good stand fol
business. The Frenchman replied "Ol
yes, he's very good stand for de bust
ness; by gar. me stand all day, for no
body come to make me move.''
A Nashville young lady render
ID wretched the existence of the man VIII
adores her. by referring to him as he
..scapegoat," her ..decoy duck" he
: lightning rod" etc. Notwithstanding
the fact that these pet names are spoke
in tones of endearment and undying al
fection, they do not satisfy the longing
of his nature, and he at all times expe
riences feeling of loneliness and desc
! lation really distressing.
tn ar The season of the year having arri'
CT ed when sunstrokes are to be looked fo
a. u, physicians are publishing rules for IL
y guidance of persons who don't want
3D. 3D. be struck. They are told to wear stra
he hats, sponges on the head, keep in Il
on on shade, drink but little, keep off ment
excitement, never run nor walk fas
eat spariDgly and sleep in cool room
'e1 There's only one recipe which can be a
sq .sq ded, let your wife saw all the wood.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

I hev known folks whose calibre wuz
very small, but whose. bore wuz very
big.
A Kodfsh aristocrat always puts me
in mind of drunken man tryin to walk
krack.
Akordin to skriptur thar will be about
as menny cammils in heaven as rich
men.
When felIer gets to goin down hill,
it dus seem as tho every thing had bin
creased for the okashun.
Humin natur is the same all over the
world. cept in Nu England. and thar It's
akordin to circumstances.
The meanest man ever nu wuz the
one who stole sugar whissel from
nigger baby to sweeten kup of kofhe
pith.~-Jtsss 8Mngs
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

1t is a common mistake to plant pines
and spruce frs near the edge of ones
walks and carriage roads Few persons
know or stop to inquire how large trees
will spread as they grow to maturity.
They look pretty as they stand in the
nursery, and are set at arms length of
the walk where they can be seen and
petted. But IN a few years they stretch
from fifteen to twenty feet each side,
over the walks and shrubbery, and the
result of the whole is. that either the
trees must be cut down or the lower
branches hewn off, which is sure destruc-
tion to the trees. Any method ofplant-
ing which does not forecast the future
height and breadth of trees, whether
planted in groups or singly, is a mis-
take.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

A DocToR's DIARY.-A pocket diary
picked up in the street of a neighboring
city, would seem to indicate from the
following choice extracts that the owner
was a medical man:
"Kase $50, Mary An Perkins. Bis
mes, washwoman. Sickness in her bed.
Fisk sum blu pills a soaperifk; age so.
Ped me one dollar, kaurter bogus.
Mind get good kaurter and max her tax
NOR fisk.
"Kase 23l, Tummes Kinks. Bisnes,
nirishman. Lives with Paddy Molouny
whot keeps dray-Sickness, digg in
ribs and two blak eys. Fisie to drink
my mixture twict day of sasiperily bere
and jellop, and fish lie, with asifedity
to make it taste fsiky. RUBBED his face
with kart grese liniment, aged 20 years
of age. Drinked the mixter and wuddnt
pay me bekase it tasted nasty, but the
mixte'll work his innards, I reckon.
"Kase 233, Old Misses Boggs. Aint
got no bisnes, but plenty of mony. Six
mes awl humbug. Cav her sum of my
celebrated .Dipsehorikon. which she sed
drank like cold tee-which it was too
Must put sumthink in it to make hel
feel six and bad. The old woman has
got the rocks. ''-.Sonitasiian for Nay
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

An Iowa young man, arraigned for as
saulting and battering his sweetheart
with kiss, was discharged because the
girl was SO wondrously lovely that the
judge said he had to cling to the arms
of his chair to keep from kissing her
himself.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

Be careful how you 60 to sleep at an
auction. A gentleman settled himself
in comfortable chair and, his senses
soothed by the auctioneer's lullaby. soon
dropped asleep. When his nap was ov-
er he left the place. The next day he
was astounded at the receiptofa a bill for
several hundred dollars worth of carpets
and other things. The auctioresr had
received his somniculous mods for bids.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

A few weeks ago well-known artist
had, according to custom, thrown open
his studio to his friends and patrons for
a private view of his pictures intended
for the walls of the Academy. One rep
resented merry party dancing, the hosts
face beaming with pleasure as he raised
a glass of Champagne to his lips. 81
don't know" said the artist to a friend,
what on earth to call this picture. or
how to account for the happy expression
on the face of the host. - s'Well, if l
were you, . replied the visitor, Il should
simply call it Death of a Mother-in-
law''
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

A singular epidemic broke out in
Kansas town the other day. Every wife
in the town was suddenly attacked by
an irresistible desire to present her hus-
band with nice little dressing case
with shaving materials complete. An
attractive young woman has opened a
barber shop in the village.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

ADvERrIsINe.-A correspondent states
that one firm in New York has just set
tied bill of $4,000 for one years ad-
vertising, and that the earnings result
ing from that advertisement were $780,
900, divided among four persons.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

Shoe the horse and shoe the mare :;
Never let the hoof 60 bare:
Trotting over hinty stones
Wears away the hardest bones.
Life has many stony street
Even to the toughest feet:
Men the sturdiest find it so
Ere through half of life they go.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

A young lady was recently struck
with the uselessness of her life, and i'm
mediately went to work with vigor to
learn plain sewing. At latest dates she
had hemmed one side of towel, which
the proud parents have framed and hung
in conspicuous position in their parlor.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

She has gone, and the river glides swiftly along
She has gone, and the river is moaning Its song;
She has the breast of the dark heave
She has gone and the tell the tale To the leaves
The spring of her its last tribute has paid.
And she sleeps meath the willow trees saddening
shade
Whence cometh the river, and whittier its flow
The false who injured her not to know;
But never again shall his hard heart rejoice;
Unceasing, that rivers mysterious voice
Shall haunt like spirit. the paths he may tread,
And murmur the plaint of the innocent dead.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

A YOUNG MURDERFR.-We hear of a
most startling case of precocious. crime
from vicksburg, Miss. A colored boy,
six years of age, living with his parents,
near that city, plainly showed his jeal-
Gus anger at the advent of an infant in
the family, and in his childish way brood
ed over his fancied wrong. Taking adj
vantage Of the absence of his parents,
the other day, he killed the infant in its
cradle, by crushing its skull with brick
and then managed to drag the body
some distance from the cabin, where he
hid it under some bushes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

MORE MoRMoNs.-Seven carloads of
Mormon recruits from Europe are now
on their way westward for Utah. This
is the first lot of several thousands of
new dupes that Brigham Young's mis-
sionaries have picked up in the Old
World.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
EXECUTION OF WOMAN FOR THE MUIR

EXECUTION OF A WOMAN FOR THE MUIR
DER OF HER HUsBAND.-SARNlA. Canada,
June 19.-Mrs. Workman was hanged
in the jail-yard to-day for the murder
of her husband in February last. Great
exertions were made to procure CON-
mutation of her sentence, but without
avail. The unhappy woman, up to the
time of her execution, declared that she
did not intend to kill her husband, and
that his death was the result of drunk
en- brawl. She could not regard herself
as guilty of murder. She ascended the
scaffold with firm step, and manifested
fortitude and nerve which astonished all
present. After the preparations were
finished. she expressed hope that her
case would be a warning to wives who
have drunken husbands, and to husbands
who have drunken wives. Rev. Mr..
Thompson then uttered a fervent prayer
in her behalf, and with this prayer Of
faith and hope on her lips the drop fell,
and the poor woman was launched into
eternity. She died almost instantly.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
a<~>--
THE SUICIDE.

Down by the river
A weeping maid stole;
Dark as that river
The gloom of her soul.
Deep as that river
The woes that oppressed her;
Wild as that river
The thoughts that possessed her.
Fast as that river
Flowed her hearts blood,
AS by the river
One moment she stood.
White as the river
When rising In foam,
Her death stricken face
When leaving her home.
The tresses that press'd
The snow of her breast,
Where bright as that river
When over its swell
The light of the moon
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

The MEXICAN BoRDER.-Late advices
from the Mexican boundary line report
all excitement at an end regarding. the
Mackenzie raid. The frequency of cat
tie robberies on the Texas frontier Sc
7-:---iy :-ts1fOrvS atui1 spoon uOal1rs, ualo-
marauders being principally represented
as mongrel Indians.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

The will of resident of Middlesex,
Deleware, recently deceased, contains
the following clause: "And | bequeath
to my beloved son. John the sum of one
dollar, with which to buy rope long
and strong enough to hang that Irish
1ife of,his.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

The Louisville, KY, Ledger contains
this advice relative to making the oranges
political in their character: Secret po-
litical organizations are prone to become
narrow, dogmatic, proscriptive, vicious
and corrupt. Tricksters and bad men
will get control. We caution the labor
ing masses, the producers of all our
wealth, the farmers and mechanics of
the country. while organizing for the
protection of their rights against despot-
ism and oppression, to avoid the pitfalls
above pointed out. Move cautiously,
move all together, move with determine
tion, but move openly.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

The New York Times says that the
theory that Gen. Grant is a dictator and
that Congress only registers his DEGREES,
has long been favorite one with the op-
position. Yet it is wholly inconsistent
with the facts. Gen. Grant asked Con-
gress to embody civil service reform
in law, but it refused. He asked them
to take some action in the Louisiana mat
ter but it did not. He urged it to pass
some measure to facilitate the operation
of the Federal laws in Utah; but it
omitted to do SO. The consequences
which the President predicted in the lat
ter case have come about. The courts
are substantially at stand, because le-
gal juries cannot be obtained. and the
criminal law of the Territory is as good
as void for the time being. Nor is there
any apparent remedy available until the
opening of Congress.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
GREAT IMPROVEMENT!
WONDERFUL SUCCESS ACCOMPLISHED (!
PERFECTION
IN THE NEW
american Seaoing Machine i!

Acknowledged by honest ripaIs and oil familiar with
other machines TO be the GREAT FINAL TRIUMPH OF
American genius. The most DURABLE and PErFEcr
running, simple, easily learned sELr-THREApINe
except eye OF the neede and IMPROVED SELF
THREADING SHUTTLE, never missing stitches tension
perfect and easily regulated without breaking thread
or removing work doing epery voriety of work in the
best possible manner. Two Sizes, No. & No. 2, for
Family and Manufacturers Use-Try them Sold ON
monthly instaments, by
EDWARD DEWEY. IL Avon st. Boston,
General Agent for the New England States.
z-Active and reliable Agents wanted to baiy and sell
the above Machines in al ,the principal cities and
towns IN New England No machines consigned 1881
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

To thee were I stickleback,
I'd swim as fast as fms can move,
To thee. were [ hunters hack.
I'd gallop on the wings of love,
But, as I'm but simple man,
I'll come by train, love-if can.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

ONE MoRE.-Mr. Folger of Michigan
has also been successful in constructing
flying machine except that it de-
scends to the ground too rapidly. But
his first experience with it, from the top
of barn, only deprived him of conscious
ness for half an hour. As soon as he
RECEIVERS he will improve the machine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

People are beginning to learn the val
ue Of advertising al the Year round.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

DRoPRIEToR IRAsBURGH HOUSE. Irasburgh,
VT. A good Livery in connection with the
House. Stage leaves for Barton Landing Depot twice
a day 2-24a
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
IRASBURGH.

H. 8. ORNE,
DEALER IN FURNITURE, COFFINS AND
LIZ CASKETs, Irasburgh, Vt. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
$. STANFORD,

TTNHE SAME OLD CHAP AS EVER, always on
l. Hand at his Post of Trade where Every man
Loves to Trade for Goods in his line such HARNESS.
and Tinware Livery Stable and Groceries, Vctuases
at his House. and Clipper Scythes with other Eatables
and good place for travellers horses at his barn.
Irasburgh, Vt. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
II w pOWEVJ

A TToRNEY, COUNSELLOR AND SOLICITOR
"A Also Bounty and Pension Agent, Irasburgh, VI
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07
T.. HI. THOMPSON,

A TTORNEY, COUNSELLOR AND SOLICITOR
IN Also Insurance Agent Irasburgh, Vt. 2-24
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

MISS A. J. CUTLER,
N EILLINERY DRESS MAKING and pattern rooms
mi Barton, Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-07-07

Va MANUFACTURER n and dealer in Furniture of al
WI kinds and descriptions, Carpets, Room Paper
curtains and xtures also Coins and Caskets Picture
ames, Spring Beds &c. Glover W
, 1873-01-31

the others would bo benefited by the Transaction
When I scheduled my assets before the Register, I
think put down the elevators mo1tgaged- The in
terest OF ann Scott in the elevator from 1854 down
to Sept 23 1872, when it transferred, was worth
about 800 GOO year. We kent but vet Of books
there VIA no mixture Of the accounts with those Of
Num-, Norton Scott
TESTIMONY or Il. WHEELER.
Hiram Wheeler, au'orn Am one OF the parties xho
signed the agreement read have taken up Some Of
Armour Asceratncd that the banks held the paper,
N and went and bought it,; understood
that was secured bwarehouse receipts; advised
nnlcss ne notes were aken up tho receipts would be
thrown on the MARKET aud panic created; there
not grain enough IN tho warehouse to fill all the
eeipts called for that fact Influenced somewhat;
knew Of the existence Of the two notes held by the
Cook County National. Bank. think the gentlemen
named IN the petition. could pay the $4,000 II they
are liable.
Crosse1ami,a<d We paid out about $4oo 600 for the
grain receipts and g,t Of back the grain was
short that much. waa member Of the warehouse
firm Of Mum Scott, but did not consider myself
liable for their debts warehouse receipts usually
E1gned BY the clerk advised that and the others
were Liable, and thatwas why We took them
up.
Redirect examination: We took up between aixty
and eighty thousand bushels OF wheat, aud 1000
bushels Of corn on floating recepts. Jesse Hoyt took
possession Of Munn's elevator; his claim is over
$500 000 Auaour rents 1t to him; the claim was in
controversy.
The co'.rt then adjourned until 10 o'clock this
morning.
, 1873-01-31
NEW SttITS


The UNITED STATES CIRCUIT CouRr-Theodore H.
Davtes, Receiver ct the Ocean National Bank of tho
State Of New York, v Harvey r., Brown and James g.
Brown assumpsit, s., ,oo0-
The CIRCUIT CouET-5, 5,G97-PetIte ct al. '. Jacobs !;
appeal 5,6ss-John Petrie v. Charles sanguer a1,.
peal 6,6a9-John Il. Underwood '. George +. Butler
and Edmund F. Ne1een; assumpsit, 81 goo. 5,7o0-
john n. Rdgeay y Magdalana Busse petition for
mechanics lien On Nos. ITS and 18o North Clark strec
67ol-E L. Carleton '; Cornelius Price; distraint for
6,7o3-Wm. H. Mallory v. Nathan Corwith !;
sssumpstt, $4,000. 6,703-Farson '. Bretenstefn !:
appeal. b,7o4-Jas. D. Watson " A. E. Morley tres
pass, $1,000 6,70s-First National Bank Of Chicago v
Jacob B. sl!ehter assump.it 81 900. .tWag-
ner '. A. II. Bodm.n petition to restore Judgment.
b,701- -Marsha4 '. Clark; appeal 5,7u8-Barnct '.
Trudel; appeal. b,703+Nau Y. Wolf: appeal 6.TlD-
John Gaugha1n '. The Northwestern Fcftiizln8 CON-
pany ot al; bill for injunction 6,7l-Jeremlah and
McMahon, and James a1uasclwhite mechanics len,
TIE SUPERIOR CorRT-41, ,140-Petiton Of Magde-
lana Hanel to establish title to tho southwest fractional
quarter OF Section 3, 49, H. 42,1A-Jaeob Solomon v
Anton shalke; confession Of judgment, 800. 42,147
judgment, $3.50 42,l43-Corbtt '. r o. l. d. Co.; ap-
peal. -, ,1A-Wn. Wisdom, Robert Wisdom. s. K
Dow, Milo Lee, md Reuben Hatch '. Aaron p. Downs
debt g. 900. 42,145-Hermanu =. White ct al; cauBe
Eedocketed- ~ -Frank G. Taylor aud Maria L.
Taylor In Scott Frank G. Taylor Jr, Marin Louise
and Josephine 8. Taylor, Edward Brown, the Frank
lin Savings Bank, and all whom 1t may concern;
bill to confirm title under the Burnt Records
act 42147-Franz v Loretto Dinstel divorce: 42,l4s
drim1ne4 assumpait, $500. 42,151-Ezra B. Lincoln
= orland D. orvds, Lewis Bail and Edgar X. lincoln;
btll to dissolve partnership 42152Patrick Power "
9ohn 9 g. Phillips; asanmpsit' s7so 42,1s3-Wm. W.
sumpsit. 5000. 42,14-John Il. Allan ct al. " Tracey
H. OV11tt; petition to restore record.
, 1873-01-31
THE COUNTY SCHOOLS.

| Suggestions and Srntlsrtcs--"
The first annual report OF Mr. a. G. Lane,
| County Superintendent Of Schools has been
handed Us. It is neatly printed, and carefully
| prepared pamphlet of 81 octave pages. It con-
| tains the genera1itiea ordinarily found in such
documents, with tabulated statements Of the
receipts and expenditures of each township in
| the County Mr. Lane congratulates the poo
plethat certain obstacles in the way of educational
progress have boen removed, chief Of which he
considers the employment of winter and sum
mer teachers. In most Of the schools, teachers
are en-, ployed steadily for the whole year. There
are 1876 schools in the county, with an aggregate
Of 535 directors. The report fayors change,
Of which the Superintendent speaks as follows
believe that the school interests Of the county
would b a1yanced b adopting the township organiza
tion Of ecl,oos, making each townnhip school dis
don> has thrtgeeyen school ofcere, while ali other
adarA arc mE1aged bysix town officers. firmly be-
be rnore suea,s.fully. and judiciouely managed
Pearl sssdo s ent ,9to ct s x
1872 made some Important changes. Hereafter school
moneys will b distribskedtto Counties towns md dis
ricte IN proporonsto the~nunber Of persons under u
years Of age. This plan at npportiounent is Just and
equitable except tthe division or the public funds in
Districts Ehe1e 1nnds ss3h. to be diSddea oneha on
haK according to the 1umbcr Of children n the dis
trict This would encourage and assst school dis
trica to continue school more than the fre months
actuaily demanded BYLAW.
It ia advised that each township should have
= High School, aud yt is remarked that tho
Townships Of Jefe1sUn, Lake, and Hyde Park
all have High Schools in successful operation.
At present too much. ct the time Of the teacher
is taken up in inst11cti11g few advanced schol-.
ars to the neglect Of the rest of the school. The
new las makes it the imperative duty Of the Di-
rectprs to adopt some system Of textbooks, and
insist upon uniformity. It still further provides
that<text-books Hhan noE Be changed oftener
than1once in four years. It is advised that Di~
rectoGs ( and teachers observe the
law, and when change is imperative
The destruction ct the assessment books. in
the great fire, very greAHy embarrassed the
schools of the county during the year. The Di-
rectors decided that they would continue the
schools. aud in accordance with q provision Of
the State law, issued district. orders bearing 10
per cent interest to pay current expenses. Most
Of these orders have alreadys been paid from the
taxes OF 1871.
The Cook County Normal School is declared to
have exceeded the expectation Of its friends.
The number enrolled for the year ending July 1,
1872, WAS 147, Of whom rs were gentlemen The
report further contains IN account of the insti-
tutes held during the year. and e-synopsis Of the
new School law.
The following table is a conpendious state
meut Of the school interests Of the County for |
this year: