Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1873-07-03
A Dandury Mans Adventures.


A Danbury man started for Green.
wlch Friday to see an iron fence.
What ho wanted to see an iron fence
for we don't know, and il really
makes no difference. He went. He
wanted to go of on the $50 train, so
he hurried home to get ready. His
wife and a vicious outside woman
were cleaning house, and it was some
time before he could get his society
suit ready. In tho meantime he open
ed fire on the largest half ola custard
pie, holding it in his hand and dane.
ing around and yelling for his things.
When she brought his overcoat, he
set the pie in a chair, to put on the
coat, but in his nervousness stepped
on the end of long-handled white.
wash-brush which was balanced
across a pail, and the other end flow
up and discharged about a pint Of
the awful mixture over the sofa,
wallpaper, and his painting and in
dignant wife. She made q remark
and he contradicted it. Then he
sat down in the chair where the pie
was, and got up again with u howl
that would have melted the stoutest
heart. She wanted him to wait
while she scraped off the surplus, but
be was too mad to converse in words
of more than one syllable, and start.
ed for the depot and boarded the
train, and in the secluson of the
baggage car moved the offensive
lunch.
He got to Greenwich all right and
looked at the fence. We hopeg he
admired it. Then started for homo
but missed the train, and. as the next
was an express and didn't stop at
Greenwich, he was obliged to walk
to the rawbridge at Cos Cob or
stay at Greenwich all night. So he
walked up there in the rain, but
didn't mind Il much as he had an
umbrella and the pie was pretty
WE'LL dried in. When he got to Cos
Cob he stood up on the fence to look
at the scenery, and swear. when a
gust of wind took off bis hat and
carried it across a bog lot. Then
he stepped down en- the other side,
too amazed to express himself, and
another gust Of wind came along and
turned the umbrella inside out. A
brief conversation here ensued be.
tween himself and the umbrella, and
he again started for the hat. When
several times, and then jammed it
down on his head, and started once
more through the boys as the train
drew up at the bridge. 1t was a
terrible struggle, as the Dogs were
uncertain, but he strained, and
coughed, and spit, and howled, and
swore, and it did seem as if he would
catch it after all. What he thought
as Ae stood that fence and watched
that train sail across the bridge, no
human being can tell.
An hour iater he appeared in
Stamford, wet thropgh to the skin,
spIashed with mud, anG with an ex-
preston on his face that would have
scared q hydrent. Backing himself
against the depot, he stood there tn
til near midnight, and then went up
on an owl train to Norwalk, falling
asleep in the meantime, and narrow
ly escaping being carried by the de-
pot. Here he took the freight for
Danbury, arriving at home just be-.
fore daylight. His vito was abed
but not sleeping. She lay there
torn by forebodings and harassed by
suspense. Perhaps he was dead, and
lying on the cold ground in the rain.
Then she thought of his lifeless Boz
dy, and groaned and thought of
the pie and groaned again. She
knew his knock the moment it
sounded, and, rushed down stairs in
the costume appropriate 20 that
hour, she threw herself into his hair,
and Historically shouted, ooh, you
old rascal, come in here"