St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-09-05
Wit and Humor.


Il tale that will make his hair stand on
end
Are you the mate of the ship ?" asked
an emlgrant of the cook. who was an
lri>hmau. NO sir" WAS the reply II
am the man who cooks the mate
Judge Jetlrcys. pointing with his
cane at prisoner before him. observed,
There Is a great rogue at the end of
this stick. The man replied. AT
which end. my lord ?"
D"hSon SAYS his friends seem determ-
imrd t" give him the title of DR. His
butcher, baker. and all the rest. do so.
hut they put the Dr. after his name in
stead of before it,
y candidate for a situation us school
teacher III Florida. being asked the
shape of the earth. replied. Nv ell. some
folks likes il round and some likes it
flat. and I've iinnelly teached it both
WAYS.
Pat was asked the other day if he un-
derst"od French. YES, Yer honour. if
its spoken in Irish"
\ Frrmchman said of Shakespeare
Ven YOU find anyzing You no under
stan. ii il always somezing fine"
An Irish editor says he can see no
earthly reason why women should not.
he allowed To become medical men.
lin not in mourning" said Young
lady. frankly. to il qUcrist. "but Us the
widows are getting all the offers nova
day. We poor girls have to resort to
mtitCc.
lin 81 thirsty - said Il boy AT work
in the curnticld. .'Wcll. work away"
said his industrious father. "Iou know
the prophet SAYS. Hoe. every one that
thiIStcth.
An Indiana sunday school man writes
to il firm in New York: send me ON
some sunday y->chuol papers and books.
Let the books hc about pirates and In
diam> a> t,tI ~ po>>ihlc.
John. Nou Young scIapcgrace. come
here. and will pay You back for your
impudcnce I" me Yesterday. NO,
thank You. have conScicmtious-cruplcs
against taking iackpay of that sort.
\ Detroit boy stood an umbrella. with
Il cord tied To it. in Il public doorway.
Eleven persons thought that umbrella
was theirs. and carried il with them the
length of the string. They then sud
denly droplrl it and went oft without
once looking back "r stopping to pick
it mp again.
,..,,,,.,. ., III ,ri,... .,.,,, ., ,,J ,b..L.
,I,,'..,,,'', III ~, ',,L,I, nosa
ne "iil Shares iiii'i are sure |" ''''h
up all right plough shares.
"lIavc YOU Gold>mith'S Greece" was
asked of the clerk in store in which
books and various miscellaneous arti-
clr> were sold. NO. said the clerk,
rctlertivcly. 1--WE haven't 'Goldsmith's
Greece. but We have some splendid
hail-"l."
\ minister. making u pastoral call at
g, Inns. vhr,, tLe 1hildrru were kent
ur,tt,. uui,t an, Sund,,. WAS contiden-
tioIlI informed hy one of the little GIRLS
thnt She ..vould like to he 4 minister"
Why }" said the pratiti.d hut some
what puzzled shepherd: $50 | could
hollrr ON sunday" was the reply.
.U,v do won oet ,Iorp witb vour
.,.itLm.ti,. >" ,.knd , f,ther of his Iit-
,Ia Ln, vLo ,n,nc,aJ and sid. ..Tve
l,r,,I .I,.'',,.L, ',Jd;tin,, ,,,..i.;o,,
''t''ra' '.tIt',,;. 'I;-t,"t;, I,im;n.,t;nr
''"t,.' ,'',' ,Ii'', ,i";, ",,;;m
1
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- hih> =" f"H ''fl / lNfth = i ,,'i ~
Ii'l l"i 7rP''i''''l i,''S :" IAN I'"iIi iY;I
'l'I' ~ l!S'. 'ti',' s'''''I,'i m INV, anu 9"a,
an" >"''I'"''ii''l i'Ie ',i', ii"i' ineH
:;'I IL I';' ,,,,.,i t,.,,,'rtI,. tho,.,,
"''' ''','n,.' int I,, ,'' ..p,',n ,ha ..nrmot
>'"!E '';,Ya'' '''.'.' WV ,,',',,
H. ,,,..,... ,,.+,,-I,. ,;,uroJ md
'''' Azores " li"l"stli ''''i'" :'nu
\\'II ,EN-,,,'i JoI;n,,tf,,, ;IIn.
YIN ar .ri' pi-i. - ~.
ti"''" r'P' W. p,I,, aJ,."a =" an,
'StudN of Japanese Fans. 10y Moan
Brooks: W hltelaW Rtld commence
mcnt Addre>s on " he scholar Ill foll-
ties: the second ol BlauNelt ; important
papers on ''Nodern SkeptIclsm; reply
To the recent article on The Liberty
of Professionalism" Il portrait and biog-
raphy of Edward EgglcSton. author OF
The ll"">ler Sch"olmaSter and the
usual quantity ot poetry.
Dr. Holland, the editor, gives us an
other in>talmcmt of "Arthur Bonnlcas-
tie. and the following Topics OF the
Time: The Outlook. The New York
bodlu vi -u"'dll'I' 'NiI'iHil'P III W
men. and the Liberty OF Professionalism.
The Old Cabinet talks about the People
VIII" get under other fe"pie mnre'-
las. etc. Home and society, "tult"rc
and Progress, Mature ana science
ami tt'hln9S are lis usual "iNerSihe"
ana interesting.
Scl1hncrS Monthly has increased ten
thousand III circulation during the past
year. o,,.
The first number OF Scrlhners 'hllds