Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-10-11
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

ANTICIPATION of evil is the death Oh nap
piness.
LADIES who light up well at night
Those who have lantern.jaws.
BUSINESS neglected is business lost.
Those who try It, find out to their cost.
WHEN Arthur was a very small Doy MS
mother reprimanded him one day ior sV,hc
mislemcanor. Not knowing 1t, MS athef
began to talk to him on the same subject
Looking up in his face, Arthur saiu,
solemnly, "My mother has tended to me.
WE had maid i'm our family once VINO,
I'm the place she was last, spent the most Oh
her time reading novels to her sick mis-
tress, and so acquired a stock Of long
words, with but dim idea of their meaii-
ing. She used to amuse us very much by
her misplaced jaw-breakers. One day she
came i'm out of breath: 30 ma'am, there's
boy out there abusing George, calling
him the most upronious epitaphs." Another
day she said, II prepaited on George to
take his oyercoat, ma'am, but he wouldn't"
l--ErchangeS
A YOUTH in love TINS addressed his in
amorata 81 .Oveliest vision, rs my eyes
rest upon thy seraph-like form, my soul Is
filled with the scintillating fancies OF the
poet. O.! lovely Dido, dost love the huni-
Bile suitor that Graves the faintest glimmer
from the meridian rays of thy young
hearts affection? o! angel fresh from the
FURNISHED streets Of Paradise, clad in the
halo of the queen of night, dost pity the
faithful TrOilus who stands before thee
and gently the maiden answered with
heavenly sigh, faint as the night wlnd
$50 West, young man, and give us rest.
| A CHICAGO gentleman says that he once
was SO unfortunate rs TO get thoroughly
fuddled. 1t was in Harrison's ''hard CT
der' campaign. and he had been IN attend
ance on one of the most enthusiastic OF the
meetings. and had wit enough at night ~
, know that he was in no condition to meet
/. his wife. He walked about the yard for
an hour or two, and finally crept In and
slipped quietly into the bed, turning his
back to his wife. that she might not smell
; his breath. He was just beginning 10
congratulate himself that she would nos
suspect his condition, when she broke out
ssYou needn't take so much pains, Joel.
You are drunk all through"
< CANDIDATES, who electioneer to win
4 votes. have some hard experiences. So a
t pood-natrlred man found it, in running for
' Sheriff in Georgia: The candidate, a ply
s sician. stopped to talk with man who,
z with his two daughters, was pulling fod'
r der. and the doctor, I'm order To keep along
e side of him, commenced pulling the fod
S der i'm the row he was walking In. When
; he got fairly settled down TO IL, the Tar,
j mer says, "Excuse me minute, while
s step over to the house." and he ieft; Al
/ this time the girls just made the fodder ny
5 going down the rows In double-quich
e time. The doctor manfully did his best
r He painted, he sweated and yet he showed
G along under the broiling sun, while tn
t farmer was on his piazza, laughing in hi'
s sleeves. In about an hour he went out Il
r the field and released the doctor. The,
b saw the doctor never limited .'sheriff'' u
S him, but jerked'up his coat and left; an,
G now he does not go in fodder-fields fo
e votes he lodges that kind Of electioneer
y ing ground.