The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-09-13

nobody ever knew T; it was said he was
taught it by old Morris Morris, who
lived to be hundred and twenty, and
that Morrls's father had it from the
fairies. But how ever he got 1t doesn't
matter he had it and as he never
impaired the secret, it died with him.
l offered him sovereign once to show
me how he did it, aud swore most
solemnly I'd keep it profound secret.
But no. L wish I'd bid higher how
1T would have been something to fal
back upon in ones old age--something
that Lawyer Jones couldn't lay his
claw upon"
:" But what was it, Captain What
was the secret he had %
g 1t was the art of frightening pigs"
said the captain solemnly. "Ah, now
don't go away with the idea that that
that's nothing [ don't mean startling
EN- ; any fool with an umbrella can
cry Shoe shoe ~ and do that But
what l mean is downright frightening
them, injecting their very souls with
fear making them mad, SO that they'll
jump out of their very skins with ter
ror. Now, you know. they're very
imaginative beasts are, pigs, and at the
same time they're very cunning. -
They're not to be taken in and if you
| were to make all the horrible noises
you could put your tongue to, they'd
quietly whisk their tails and cock their
eyes, and think you a TOOL for your
pains. But this was how DAVID went
to work. You know that Penllyn May
| fair Is tremendous fair for pigs. They
all come from DIE north side of the
county, and must cross the bridge over
| the Dulas to get there at all, and when
they're crossed the river there's long
straight piece of road, with grass OH
each side of it, and high stone walls
beyond the grass. Well, here it was
David would take his stand, or seat,
rather, for he sGuatted himself down
III the grass, and then he made himself
a round hole, like basin a foot deep,
at the side of the road and there he'd
sit from early daylight collecting his
tax on the pigs. Ii there were less
than ten he charged a penny, and so
on, penny for every half score That
was David's tax and a very good tax
gathered he made. He wasn't always
altering it, moving it up and pulling it
down but he put on a reasonable fig
ure, and stuck to il"
" But suppose the people wouldn't
pay it?
That's just what they made up
their minds to, one fair-day. The
principal pig proprietors held a meet
ing on Llanfer Green, and came to a
resolution that they wouldn't pay Da-
vid Gaur any more. You see, his re-
putation was traditional only they'd
none OF them seen his powers exer-
cised i; and these modern views of
yours, Jones, had got into their heads,
/ suppose. Anyhow, thay came to the
resolution, and stuck to 1t, with fear
and trembling. Everybody remarked
how beautifully the pigs marched that
day from Llanfer Green. There was
a good body of them together, and
you'd have expected they'd have given
some trouble ; but no, they walked as
orderly as so many Christians, as il
they'll made up their minds to show
how pigs could behave for once. Well,
the bridge was crossed, and the al.
vance guard of pigs came in front OF
David S redoubt-the hole he'd dug in
the ground. David held out his hat,
as usual, for the toll. The master OF
the pigs shook his head. Dim tally.
No pay to-day for pig. David under.
stood the thing in a moment, saw
| through the plan of the revolt. Down
| went his head 1nso the hUl:. Gontle.
men, it's impossible to describe a
noise. Ii you can imagine the most
diabolical din in nature, and then make
it twice as bad, you'll have a faint idea
OF the roar that came out of the hole
in the ground
q Where were the pigs? You must
imagine whirlwind of pigs, simeon
OF pigs, tornado of pigs Little
pigs, big pigs, blue pigs, white pigs,
| flying about like sky-rocketS in every
direction. Thoy flew over the stone
walls, they dashed over the parpet of
the bridge away they went away
| east, west, north, south. In few mo
ments the country about for miles was
spotted with flying pigs. And their
masters, David and Morris, and Rich
ard and John, and all the rest of them,
where were they? Flying, too, across
the country bursting out their best
trousers, barking their sh!ns, and spoil
ing their CATERS over the stone walls.
And what was the use of it ? Did you
ever try to catch a couple of hundred
mad pigs careering across the country {?
The fair was pretty near failure, [
can tell you. Only the few people
who'd stopped behind, and paid David
his toll, and brought their pigs in
quietly, they had the pick of the buy
ers and through there being so few
pigs III the market, they got pretty
nigh what prices they liked.
AMI then the poor fellows who'd
lost their pigs came to David, and
besought him, with fearful eyes, to call
the pIggie wIggies back again, and
gave him double toll TO do it, But [
fancy he wasn't as successful at that
as he'd been at sending them adrift,
Anyhow, after that, he always got his
taxes paid in peace and quietness.
All, don't tell me-" said the GRIP
tain, getting up and putting on his hat,
4" of your railroads and nonsense.-
Where will you find another chap like
David Gaur -
The state of Superior.