Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
CURRENT NOTES.

tthNEAT NOTES.
\ Baltimore paper alludes to a contempo
rary as the paper which.is printed for pri
vato circulation.
Gan Evansville, Ind. cat recently ray
birth to four kittens and puppy.
\ satirist says that modern societ,
misses. two "l0st arts" conversation an1
blushing.
a story is told of French gentleman
who, having lost the bulk of his propert,
through the rascalities of friends in whom
he trusted, crowned in all BY the loss of hi
mental balance, and for the remainder a
his days found his only delight in riding il
Omnibuses and passing fares from the pas
sengcrs to the driver. taking care wher
| change was returned to add to it a sou OF
two from his own pocket, and watch tn,
effect on the receiver. In nine eases ont O
ten, as the story goes, the passenger, count
ing over his change, and finding. as he sun.
PISSED, that the driver had cheated himself
would look bewildered for a moment. anc
then pocket the change with quiet
chuckle. The special delight of the lunati,
was in satisfying himself in this way thai
nine-tenths of his fellow men were dis
honest if they only had the opportunity
St. Paul Min man sneezed.his spine
out of Joint.
4 colored man living in Macomb street
Detroit, having long admired a colored
widow living in the next block above, but
being afraid to come out boldly and reyeal
his passions, went To a white man of his ac.
quaintance the other day and asked him tC
write the lady letter asking her hand il
marriage. The friend wrote, telling the
woman in few brief lines that the Size Of
her feet was the talk of the neighborhood
and asking her if she couldn't pare them
down little. The name of the colOred man
was signed, and he was to call on her on
Sunday night for an answer. Yesterday the
writer OF the letter met the negro imping
along the street and asked him what the
widow said. The man showed him blood
shot eye, n scratched nose, a lame leg, and
a spot on the sea p where a handful Of wool
had been violently jerked out, and he an
swered IN solemn tones ''She didn't say
muffin. an J didn't stay dar MORN a
mint
The reporter Of the Kingston Freenian
after being engaged three days in writing
reports of races, attended church, last Sun
day evening, where the blow boy of the
organ was unequal to the task. The result
was the following report At one moment
the organ wOuld be galloping to keep up
with the choir. and the next minute the
choir would get up a tremendous burst Of
speed to catch the organ. Finally, the two
started off side by side as they went into the
doxology, but Just as they were going finely
and Squarely. the wind Of the organ gave
out completely, and the choir had 10 finish
the race alone, which it did in excellent
time.
The Southern editor rarely venture, into
his cOmpOslt0r' 5 room and when Obliged 10
IL 50, arms himself To the teeth. and leaves
on his desk an obituary notice Of himself
appropriate to the event of sudden death.
DO You ask why? His handwriting is such
as TO invite violence from those by the sweat
of whose brows it Is deciphcrci and set up.
y Louisiana man puts a two ounce can of
nltro-glycerine inside Of a chicken. t0sse~
the chicken % an alligator, and that alliga-
tor doesn't trouble the bayou any more.
The Oneida communists say that they are
pcstered with applications from respectable
persons in all parts Of the country wishing
10 Join them. They don't want any more
just now.
1t is said that the birthplace of the fol-
of kcarsarge, New Hampshire Ezekiel and
Daniel Webster, William Pits Fessenden.
John 4. Dix. Farmer. the electrician /:
Nicc-pre>ident vii on. Levi, Cas-. L. ;.
Senator Grimes. L. :. Senator Chandler
Levi Woodbury., Horace Greciey. Gen. But
Ter, Franklin Pierce, Chief Justice Chase.
and Chief Justice Chase Of Maine.
stamps" Is the name Of the editor of a
North Carolina paper. lie who flches
from him his good name commits a larceny
indeed
Burrows was an inyeteratc tJbacco-chew-
or, but as his vile detestc1 the practice ard
made home tempeStuous and stormy for him
when he indulsed in the practice there. he
always chewed when away during the day.
and declared 10 his wife that he had stopped
permanently. But one evening, upon en-
tering the front door and drawing out his
handkerchief, he accidentally pulled ont his
paper of tobacco. and. without noticing il.
lett it lying on the floor. When Burrows
set down to tea. his wife walked in with the
tobacco in her hand, and looking Burrows
firmly m the eye, said. " Do You know who
that belongs to?' With great presence of
mind Burrows turned scowling to his old
est boy and said. with a severe voice Elm
.4'4 ss44 ia. - II pu@9lp4c tAdl You nav
begun to chew tobacco, You y0Lng reprob-
ate? Nhere'd You get that nasty stuff ?
W hat d you mean by such conduct, YOU VII
lain Haven't | told You often enough To
let tobacco al0ne2 Com mere to me OF III
tear the Jacket off of YOU" And as he spoke
the stern father made a grab at the boy and
dragged him ont in the entry, where he
cha,tsed him with cane Then Burrows
threw the tobacco over thp fence where he
went ont and 90 it in the morning and en-
ioyed it during the day. "MercifuI Moses -
he exclaimed when he told Us about it.,
a" what would have done if my children
had all been girls? 1t makes an old father :
heart glad when he feels that be has a boy
he can depend on in such emergencies. -