The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-02-14

! AASo ~ u - eas1AO 49, AOSp @~N~ AAOt W
much sugar"
I gave it to him hot / took som
myself. He slipped it in silence, look
ing into the depths of the tumble
meanwhile as if he was trying to dra1
from its amber hues the solution of
problem.
George" he said, suddenly, and
fancied I saw q spasm of pain shoe
brought his hand down on the tabl
with startling arnestness-"G George
I'm a miserable man.
He grasped the tumbler and finishes
its contents at gulp.
James," said Isoothingly, "be calm
Shall the next have more sugar in it !?
fAbout the same" he said, dismally
mot SO much water. George. I'm /.
| wreck"
"Ah p said 7, taking q spoonful t,
taste eve all have our sorrows."
eve - he cried, scornfully "wha
do you know of the woes of life? George
yon are a single man. Keep so-shu1
the patrimolSal moose. Beware o
breakers Then he paused and said
sternly: "Is this old rye or mononga
hela ?"
| "Old rye, L answered.
He frowned darkly; then he said
| "What is your opinion of Job ?"
"Job p"
''The patient old rooster, 1 mean
ooh t.! Well, hardly know. How
do you mean? Do you ask my opinion
as to whether his patience was justifia-
BILE under the circumstances 1 answer
most emphatically, no /"
Don't mean that. I mean-do you
think Job ever had a successor ?"
l answered that I didn't; that I
thought no man since his time was ever
fierce to wear his hoes that every Job
complained, though some people did
not complain of Job-city officials, for
instance. This was meant for joke
not warranted shot-proof, however-but
it didn't take. He scowled at me.
81 am married." he said, gloomily !:
"why did ever get married %
L thought he was giving me conun-
drum to solve, SO said gave it up !;
but he went or without noticing me
81 am not profane mani am not
given to hard words but 1 say am
well, chiseled, if L can see what pos
sesssed me to marry"
''It was strange" l assented.
"Was mad" he asked-of the tnm-
bier.
I said perhaps SO.
What happened this morning !?
George, what do you suppose hap
pened ?"
"Give it up again"
"What did my wife say to me before
I started out the house ~
"And again" r.
He groaned then he resumed
''Nelly-my wife, James-kissed me
fondly, as is ner wont, as I rose from
the breakfast table to go, and then she
laid her hand tenderly on my ARM"
"Ah !" said I, 81 only wish-but
never mind"
'And them" he continued, in
sepulchral voice, ''she asked me to call
during the day on the bootmaker, the
milliner, and the dressmaker. She gave
say to each. She repeated my instruc-
hons two or three times, and then left
the house, fully confident that I knew
every true" I assented, sagely.
tried to recall the directions / found
AZ EACNOhS
[ wrote on separate cards the
various directions. l went to the
milliner and read from the card. She
screamed and ordered me out of the
house. I was surprised. went to the
bootmaker, read his card to him, and
he said [ was . lunatic. 1 didn't know
what to make out of it. I read over
the cards carefully and felt bewildered.
I felt my senses leaving me rapidly, so
| came to you.
"You want me to help you out ?"
elf you can"
Hand me over the cards.
The first card took up read as fol- |
lows: &C. Ripaud, bootmaker. One |
pair gros grain balmorals, cut bias. If
an edging of ostrich feathers. |
Low in the neck :"
"Is there anything the matter with
that ?" he demanded, sternly.
"Well, no. A trife vague, perhaps. |
Low in the neck has a dubious sound,
go to the next.
MADAME Ronzaulain, milliner. |
Queen Anne turban leather tips. The
brim trife small, and very high in the |
instep. Frame looped up with silver
tipped heels. Agate buttons"
George. what in the d"
"James. is it hot or cold this time ?"
Thank You; neat-no sugar. The
third note IS now in order"
MADAME Poncharriarir, dressmaker.
Street dress, real kid uppers. Double
olaits en- panier high up above the
ankle. Wide sleeves, lace insertion,
with slope on the crown"
George" he said, scornfully, chow
10 you feel?" |
"Loose, James, very loose-shaky.
Well, here's confusion to your foes.
James, there's evidently something
wrong here.-Your wife couldn't have
given you these directions.
"Well, p'raps not" he admitted,
slowly, ''but I thought she did"
Now look at it." 1 said, sternly.
The general idea is albright, but you've
got em mixed somehow Now, if gros
yrain shoes, cut bias, can have any
affinity to Queen AnDe's panier with
agate feathers. you surely couldn't
suppose that low necked ankles could
oy meant for leather heels with silver
Ups, looped up with"
He got up with a wild light IN his
lumid eyes, and with groan of anguish
hurried out, and / heard him cropping
lown the stairs six steps at a time.
"Poor fellow said, sadly. AM
'ther noble mind wrecked. Oh, wo-
nan in your hours of ease
I took another.
A very interesting discovery has
ately been made, it is stated, by an
Italian, who claims that he can tune
erves into harmony, like harp strings.
lis theory is, that nerves are originally
eyed up to a certain pitch, and that if
hey all change tone together, no dam
ge can be done, as diet and tempera-
ure will offset it. If, however, by ac-
ident or uneven wear, the general har-
nony is destroyed, and one or two
erves get off the key, then disconnect-
d action is the result, and there must
'e special mode of treatment, of which
e processes to have the secret He
alls himself the nerve tuner, and con- [
racts to keep nerves in order by the
Month or year Such secret as this is
f worldwide importance, and we see .
% reason why people should not make
t an object for this italian nerve-tuner j
o sell out his secret and learn to tune
|, n-a ao,, har61u |