River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-01-03
A CHRISTMAS NIGHTS ADVENTURE.
BY EDMUND II. YATES.


The adventure which / am about
TO relate is the only one that l really
ever had. Some people are perpet-
ually having adventures they never
go anywhere or do anything, without
being placed IN most peculiar posi-
tions by wonderful combinations of
circumstances. My friend Vavasour
Pelham reioices principally in anna
tory adventures, and his experiences
are full of raven tresses, flashing eyes,
exchange of love tokens, dark nights,
stolen meetings, with concluding hints
of sharp poniards and yaNning sacks :;
whereas little Griggs never returns to
the Draft aud Docket Office after his
months ramble on the Continent
without having been crushed by ava
lanches in Switzerland, seized and car
ried away TO the mountains by brigands
IN Italy, and, in the back slums of
Paris, put into wonderful beds which
sink through the floor and deposit HIM
in some blood stained cellar, whence
he is only rescued by his own personal
yalor and acquaintance with the noble
art of self-defence. But TO me these
things have never happened; | have
never seen an avalanche except from
a safe distance, never met a brigand
except upon the stage, and never found
anything in the beds of Paris worse
than--you know what-and yet have
had one adventure in my life, and this
is how il occurred
A few years since (no matter how
many; suffice il to say that at the time
was unacquainted with rates and
taxes and the price of babies shoes D,
finding that, owing TO there having
been a death in the family where /
usually dined on Christmas-day, our
annual gathering would not take place,
and being rather used mp and over
fatigued, | determined TO take holi-
day and spend the Christmas out Of
town. The resolution once made, the
difficulty was TO decide upon q destina-
ton, and with blank face | looked
through the list Of invitations | had
received. First and foremost | found
the noble name of Dunsinane-hi
Grace the DIXIE OF Dunsinane, who is
now keeping open house at his magni-
hcent castle, 1.-The Haggis," Renfrew.
shire. | was acquainted with his
Cruces younger brother. the Hon.
Malcolm Macbeth, aud was sure of u
polite reception. Should go down TO
these noble people Should put mp
with bachelors bed room on the
fourth story of the castle la bed room
bell-less and uncomfortable. INTO which
the wind whistles and the Scotch mist
ponetrates; III which | should have to
climb on to the bed when there was
occasion TO open the door. and where
the domestic Iat would hold his nightly
revelss Should | consort with the
company there assembled, making M
my mind to bear old General Blanquo's
blunt vulgarlty and Young Captain
Fleance's lisping lmpertinence Could
| endure Sir Hercules McNab's ancestry
aud Lady CawdOr's rheumatism +
Should |, surroupded hy all the Dun.
shame males and followed by all their
gillies, stamp and struggle over barren
moors 7 or should /, extended on my
stemach. in the words of the lyric poet,
follow the stag from ms slippery
crag, and chase the bounding roe, no,
no, no, no Finally, while the noble
company was fuddling itself over claret
and toddy after It's hard days sport,
should | make miith for il should |
he funny, sharp, smart, witty, in my
usual agreeable manner ~ b. This
being expected of me, MS payment for
my board and lodging, / being regard
ed by all present as rather superior
bodybuilding. No that last thought
decided me TO the Haggis would not
60!