, 1873-11-02
THOSE BLANK COMMISSIONS.

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If the BumnorB' ticket win the election, III
supporters will bo in duty bound to erect a
monument, in BRASS to tho millera Of the
patent hey-presto, Germanico-H -Hbernico- q Gallico.
o.Augico-naturalization mill, which
has been, within the lust month, so busy grind.
ing out citizens. The persons to bo perpotuatod
ny this monument, in BRASS will be Ex-CsimInal
Court Clerk, Dan O'Hara, Joe Forrest. Austin
Doyle, Tommy Barrott, Long Jamioson, ard the
| DALI hundred other underugs. to whom the by-
gone Daniel has choAeu to delegate his ua.urnl.
| izing faculties. Dan cannot be oyerywhere. and
at Foloy's, at the sanao time, and as Foleyss ia
tho most Important place in election times, the
head miller must delegate some Of his functions.
The Tom Foley functions arc altogether too
pleasant to be delegated, 60 the great American
naturalizor appoints loRt Of little Amer.
team naturalizors to create citizens In bis
pace, That naturalization, per SO, is not the
object Of one-tont1 OF the great unwashed who
hock daily to the Criminal Court Clerks sanctum
u a1tostod BY conversation which occurs a
hundred times q day in that sacred abode. An
un~asaed foreigner who bus been approached"
by "bnmmet-tioket supporter" applies for
his papers.
.'How long have you been in the country p
aHks Dams nephew, George O'Hara.
" les two year," responded tho foreigner.
whara. tue nephew, glarces around and sees
TRIBUNE reporter. Long Jamieaon thinks Of
hia h,3, bread and butter, aud motious Nephew
latter cries out aloud:
Cant naturalize you, then" and adds, soto
roce, Call again this afternoon please"
At another time Nephew o'Hara boldly re-.
sponda, when the naturalization would be too
"can't naturalize you this time, You can1
uose, so what's the use of fnataraltzing9 ?"
Every word that the little American natural.
izers let fall, shows that it is not natives, bu.
w. TToaters, they have set their hearts upon mahing
ihe great sine qua non Of 4ey-prosto natural
izer is luminous nose, The glorious autumn.
sunset complexion OF tho present Clerk of the
Criminal Cou1t is tho chof dnuvre which his
followers try IN vain 70 COPY Austin s the best
more than anything else, he owes bis present.
position as nominee of the Dummer's Conyen-
tion.. Unhappy Machay, who spent ten long
months, and wasted no end Of Bourbon in en-
aud failed aftor all, was ANONYMOUSLY expelled
9 week ago, to give place to q German whose
features hnd long since boon incarnadined BY
generous libations. The partially illumined
barrett was retained, but only on. prom
the Ill Of 'h tae ' mot undor tSo poyie s1sis
regime, should Buch regime ever
exist Tho tyro smoker, peering al1iously at
IT, tho brown blush oroepiu,g up tue bowl OF ha slo
>A~kS"AHoAASy
day BY day, tho development Of tho rich purple
suffusion on his foatules
Thoro was trouble lu tho O'IIara camp yeator-
day morning. Tho natllralizatlou.mill was run
ntng ahead as usual. The Judge Of tho Crimin-
q! Court was exhibiting his wonderful powers Of
abstraction by listening to an argument Of a
prisoners counsel, haturalizing oitizon, and
asoz1ng at the sumo timo, when a byatandor woke
the Judge out Of his reverio BY haniing him .
blank but duly signed commission to not
Tor the Clerk Of the Criminal Court,
which tho bystander had accidentally
obtained, Tic byHtaudcr donied having
clerk's deputy ct Tom Foloy'a or elsewhere, but
suggested that 1t was strange thing that those
commissions 81 to act as Deputy Criminal Court
Olerk shoull 10 floating around so ohoap that
anyone could get hold uf tiom Judge Williams
asrsed with the bystander, and sent for Dan
O. 0Hara to make an explanation Of the matter.
Tho Inter, who WIS "aorosH tho road" az tho
tino, appeared in court, wiping his mouth
humledly. and apolosizing for keeping the
IL f:oort waltin,." When the trouble was an.
aenncod to him, he struck M attitude aud began
IN election speech which ia worthy OF reproduce
tion. III the choicest broad 6ootoh, which ha