The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-04-11
MULES.

MULES.
He is q freak of nature,--a monstro-
sity; a curious combination of the Jack
ass and horse, with the qualities of
neither and excelling both. He is the
sphinx of the brutes, and stands alone
in his nature and qualities, unapproach-
able in devilment, fathomless in cum
ming, born old in crime, of doubtful
| paternity and incapable of posterity,
stolid, imperturbable, with no love for
anything but the preparation of tricks,
no dexterity in ought save the dinging
| of his heels, no desire for anything but
! stolen rations, and no affection at all.
| Such is the mule. Yet he is an animal
who deserves a very different biography
| from any which men have yet found it
| in their hearts to write of him. There
are men who all mules hate, probably
from the existence of a rivalry between
the two men who are ever the victims
of one of those lightning blows which
are wonders of dexterity and force, con-
sidered as the results of the muscular
energy of so clumsy limb. These are
they who have given our long-eared
| friend his reputation. The mule is an
animal of character,-bad, it may be-
but still defined and changeless char
acter. Many men have not that much
| to recommend them.
Everybody knows this anomaly in an
imalism, as they fancy, very well in
| deed. We have all marked the queer,
knowing, Ieery, side-long glance of his
eye at us, as we passed by. We have
| seen the furtive agility with which the
wisp of hay is stolen from the passing
wagon, and the utter stolidity with
which he stands with handing lip in the
sun, asleep. The yearling mule is the
| incarnation and sum-total of quadru-
/ pedal deviltry. He is the originator of
a distinct and uninterrupted series of
| grotssque diabolisms. See him, with
his scant and ungraceful tail tangled
| with a whole acre of heterogeneous
burs, the long and faded hair on his
belly waving in the breeze, an inverted
adornment, so comically contrived as to
be perfectly in keeping with the nature
and origin of the brute. His fuzzy
name, scarce grown, sets upon him
with the same air as do the whiskers of
shaveling youth. He has a curious
| iog-trot, which in itself suggests care
less and irredeemable depravity. 1t is
the gait of one who goes steadily to the
bad, yet never get there. At that age,
the eyes are FOXY and shrewd and lack
the look of sadness so often seen in
those of his aged relative of the dray
and jobbing-wagon The little black
hoofs are hard and polished, and, like
those of the goat and chamois, fitted
for clinking in slippery places. And
those ears in all his kind they have
ever refused to be hidden. Even as he
stands nodding against the sunny side
of the barn, they are ever moving. Now
| backward, now forward, and in oppo-
site ways. You can tell by these tokens,
Just when an unusually malevolent idea
is born within him. When they are
laid squarely back upon his neck, his
countenance is clear proof of the
truth of the science of physiognomy.
Mischief has then its incarnation. The
| clumsy limbs astonish you with their
sudden hmberness, and fly high in the
air with rapidity which defies vision.
| The faculty of acrobatic kicking never
| leaves him, whatever else may befall.
4 Men whose labors in this life have
taken the strange direction of mule
raising, are supposed to lead short lives
| and troublous ones. From infancy to
age, there is no fence which will hold,
| no system which will train them, into
4
| Place 20 of these youngsters at long
trough feed them literally with oats,
and it will be more from luck than
prudence, if you get away from the
shaggy conclave with less than 20 out
of the 10 hinder hoofs having been
| flung in YOUR face. You never can
catch the offender. Schoolboys are
tame beside them. Ere you can turn to
| look, the meek creature has reversed
his ears and is industriously champing
| his provender, seeming mildly to won
der how you could have suspected him.
Is has long been known that there is
only one way by which a mule can be
punished, and, strange to say, that is
| by a strain upon his sensibilities. A
mule, by himself, is the wretchedest OF
beasts He may not be so particular
about its quality, but he must have
companions; companions to bite and
kick and steal from, and over whose
backs he can rest his Intelligent head to
stare at the passers-by. Place him In g
! field over whose fence he really cannot
Jump, and which he cannot break we
must be pardoned if we verye upon
romance in this supposition,-a he
will betake himself to the company OF
the staid COWS, or even the pigs who
are there with him, and proceed to bite
their backs, and otherwise to interfere
with their accustomed habits and bod.
ily comfort. The mule never forgets
his kinship with his most respectable
| relations. He insists upon considering
the horse his brother, and, it is well
known, can only be cOaXed along the
highway to market in peace, by being
enticed by an elderly gray mare, on
whose neck there is bell, and whom
he will recl1lessly follow to the ends Of
the earth. On the other hand he dis
dams his poor relations, the asses, with
a demeanor which as well becomes him
as it does his imitator In higher plane
of existence He will have naught tc
do with the thistle-eating fraternity
and would scarce recognize them, ever
when undergoing his punishment OF
solitary confinement.
Now all this Is superficial, and only
one side of the case Since it is moral
ly certain that those fellows who write
trash for mere newspapers will proceed
to regale their morning readers with
the statement that this chapter is the
result of personal experience, and born
of introspection, we will hasten to re
late the other phase of the story. Mule
! raising is too troublesome and too ex
pensive to be engaged in as an amuse
, ment, or for merely burlesquing ere
alton. Money is at the bottom of the
business. 1t is probable that this curl
Gus brute is the most useful of all the
, four-footed toilers whom man holds il
, perpetual slavery. His cool philosophy
never forsakes him, in labors which nc
E other animal has been found capable o.
performing 1t is on the plains, and il
,, the cOrrals of the far Southwest, thai
, the mule and his master fully under
stand each other. These desolatt
plains, and the long and waterles.
roads, are the fields of his usefulness
1t is strange statement that mule
/, driving is a passion with certain clasl
of men, but such is the case. Horses
fade into comparative insignifcanc
there, and are not counted the respect
! able animal for any man to ride. TIL
l government of the United States is tn,
largest mule proprietor in the world
| Without them the little army of tn
frontier would be useless and entirel,
| inefficient. The chief matters of inter