Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-04-16
HUMOROUS.
The best thing 'out"-The measles.
A r ]

The best thing Hout"-The measles.
a cure for Commissioning the p.edge.
"a cofin," said an Irishman, ''is the
house that a man lives in when he's idead."
Farmers ought to make good fin&uciers,
as they are accustomed to "wstering
stock"
A baseball club is nos necessarily cold
water organization when they engage a
| (n)ice pitcher.
Manufacturing is said to be the poorest.
| paying business, because it takes ten mills
to make Gne ceut.
Somebody inquiring st the Springfield
| (nl.) Post Office for q letter for Mike Howe
received the gruff answer that there was 10
letter there for anybody's cow.a aWE @EE
Josh Billings gives the following advice
to young men: "Don't be discouraged if
| yer mustach don't grow. It sometimes
| happens wheTa musSach duz the best
nothing else duz so vel"
An individual who was arrested in Bos-
ton the other day for stealing musical in
strQment, complained bitterly of the puri-
tanical city, where. they pu a man in the
jug for taking horn.
"Home is the pl2es for boys" said Spindks
to his eLL;iest pride and JOY. "Yes.n said
/ the youDgster dntifully, 81 e Ike to stsv at
home sll the time; but ma sends me to
| school,"
"How hollow 1t soundsI' said a patient
under the movement cure, as the physician
was vigorously pounding his chest. "Oh,
that's nothingl" said the doctor; swat till
we get to the head"
A Western man at the St. Nicholas, hay
! i.Ig taken possession OF his room, locked it
up to go into the city, and leaving the key
at the oar, told the clerk, with great sim
plicity, not to wait dinner for him.
A gentleman going to Texas asked a
friend for Litter Of introduction. The
friend opened drawer, took out large and
Handsome spring -bladsd dagger-knife and a
six chambered revolver, and gave them to
| him.
A little negro waiter was sent to call 3
gentleman to dinner, and found hia using
a tooth brush. ''Well," said the landlady,
when The boy returned, els he eoming?"
eyes, mistress, directly; he's jes sharpenin'
his teeth"
An English vicar was standing on Mon
day morning at his gate, when one of his
parishioners arrived with basketful of
potatoes. What's this ?" said the vicar.
" Please, sir,'' replied the man, 81 it's some
of cur best taturs-a very rare kind, sir.
MY wife sal you should have some of
them, as she heard you say in your sermon
the common taturs (cOmmentators) didn't
agree with you."
A young man out in search of his fathers
lost pig near Scranton, Penn, accosted an
Irishman along the road with: Shave you
seen stray pig along here?" "Faith, said
Pat, "and how could | tell stray pig from
another?" This reminds US of the town or
dinance which provided that ''every other
dog'' should be killed. The difficulty is TO
distinguish the "othern dogs.
81 had more money than he had to carry
on the suit,o said very mean individual
who had Just won a lawsuit over a poor
neiehbor, sand that's where had the ad-
vantage of him. Then | had much better
counsel than he, and there had the advan-
tage of him. And his family were sick
while the suit was pending, so he couldn't
attend to it, and there l had the advantage
of him again. But thsn, Brown is very
decent sort Of q man, after ALL" "Yes,n
said ths listener, "and there's where be has
the advantage Of YOU"
A young man, astranger, who attempted
to leap upon ferryboat at Detroit on Sat.
urday, fell short and disappeared In the
bring deep. He found . fife-preserver at
hand as he rosa, and was drawn out. He
az lie rag for awhile, but finally stood
up and looked around. The crowd was
ready to do anything for him, and finally
one oftyem asked: "Can we do anything
for you?" The laan looked around, shiv-
cred, aud then gazing at his boots, replied:
"Yes; just one thing. l wish you'd get
boy to black my toots."