The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-07-08
Sepse and eMopsf,lse.

"Excuse haste and bad pen" as tile
pig said when he broke out.
What part of church is the canhi-
balls favorite? The belle fly.
Melancholy suicide-A little boy, ON
being threatened with whipping, hung
his head.
Observation-Disclosures, wad-
|ding, powder and paint.
The highest Office within the gift of
the people is the weather signal station
on Pixies Peak.
What is the difference between bayo-
nets and bullets2 Bayonets are driven,
but bullets are lead.
Shakespeare would never have asked,
|"What's in ain elm ?" If be had been hit
on the head with brick.
Cinnamon are said to make good mar.
ket gardeners. No people like them
for minding their peas and their ques.
What is that which makes every per-
son sick but those who swallow it2-
Flattery.
"Who breaks pays" This does not
Iapply to railroads, as they pay men to
brake.
Mrs Rider, of Chicago, differed with
a neighbor and tried to pull her tongue
Tout.
Boston proposes a convention OF bald
men next month-probably to revive
the wig party.
The New York Herald calls Central
Park "a precious emerald in a dirty set
ting"
A New Orleans dentist is prepared to
"execute drawings from life at the shor-
test notice."
Two miniature pipes of yefitable
meerschaum and amber form the ear.
rings Of New York belle.
Over 1900 buildings were erected Id
| st. Louis last year, aud ssGrs proof" is
claimed for none vi than.
A Hartford philantlropist has inven.
ted a peculiar shaped bottle for drug
gists to use exclusively for poisons.
Iowa employs fifteen thousand one
hundr cd and tlirtythree teachers, of
whom nine thousand three hundred and
twenty-five are women.
What is thedifference between the en-
gine driver and passenger who hes
lost the train? One is right in 'front.'
the other left behind.
A Kansas lawyer said .ssie transit" to.
the judge, whD thnnght it was swearing,
and fined him $40. He said no one
could "sick" him in that court.
A young man out of employment and
health desires to act as substitute for
some pensioner of the war of 1872
No objection to going into the country.
Our total loss in the Modoc cam
paign from November, 1872, to May,
1873, has been Il killed aud 81 woup-
ded. The money loss is not yet esti.
mated.
A phrenologist, who experienced
| three collisions on the Pennsylvania
Central Railroad, thought the bump Of
destructiveness was very prominent on
that route.
An intoxicated printer iu Chicago
wandered into shoe shop in fit Of
mental alteration, and set up several
sticks full of shoe-pegs before he real
lied his awful condition, ~
Two little girls we're lately prattling
together and one Of them said: s:We
keep four servants, have got six horses,
and lots of carriages; now what have
you gntY'' "We've got skunk under
our barn."
A little boy accosted his papa thuss
| Papa, are you growing still ?"
mo, dear; what makes you think
so ?''
because the top Of your head is
coming through your hair"
Messenger boys in the Pennsylvania
Legislature are sent out after sink," and
when they return with it the said fluid
| is slyly passed around among the men,
bers, who wipe their mouths and groan:
"Ah! that was good"
A young man sent of his frst postal
card on Monday morning. After wrf-
ting a message on the back he enclosed
it in an envelope, clepped on three
cent stamp, and dropped it into the
post office, remarking that it was very
Handy arrangement, and should have
been introduced years ago.
| The compensation of letter carriers
is fixed by the Postmaster General. but
the law provides that it shall not exceed
Ieight hundred dollars year, which may
be increased in any sum not exceeding
one thousand dollars upon satisfactory
|evidence of diligence, fidelity and ex-
'perience.
+, Here is recipe for Making Dolly
Warden pie: Take about four yards OF
Hight dough, gather it up in tucks and
!founces, crimp the edges, and fill up
with fruit; then lay on the overskirt
fasten it with buttons Of dough, coli
Injected with frills Of the same, and you
! will have tasteful and elegant pie
| The following was the despatch re.
iceived by the train dispatcher Of the
Alabama and Chattanooga Railroad, who
tordered the conductor Of one traip to
tremain at a station, ut which there was
no side track, until another train hsd
Ipassed: "Shall l move my train into the
bank, or up tree p
| The sadest instance Of misplaced con-
fidence ON record is that Of Connectl-
cut man who rescued snother from .
watery grave only to find that instead
Iof his long lost brother it was person
to whom he owed three dollars and
lhalt for turnips.