The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-08-16
H0UaE NUlIRRR TYo.

Enter Mrs. DoRdy cans shoes and alp
psrs, and with soiled flannel pettic0at OBJ
Vious beneath her dress. Mrs. DoWdy
wears smile of general aimiability, as
though ready for any discordant emer-
gency. I'D ...ty.
sirP Ny husband, when he was living,
was q literary gentleman, editor oil the
Adpdncsd Thinker know how to make
literary gentleman comfortable, sir.
Mi. Pillow many boarderS have you
ma'amG Al'
Mis-. D. (Severely)-I beg your pardon,
sir; never take board9s. Ny house Is
NOT a boarding house; my guests are not
boarders. / do not pretend. 10 keep board
ers. The few ladies and gentlemen whom
| l have living with me, have merely for
tho sake OF their company, That Is all.
Ny family would neVerldreAm OF permit
ting me 10 take boarders, l do. not pre-
tend TO make q penny of my guests, sir.
Il! / lust cover expenses, that Is all l ask.
BIr. P-HoW often do you have hash Z
Mrs. D.-Sir, this IS not boarding.
house; we arc all like one family here.
sir. Sometimes we may have q piece Of
mutton that Is le1 over cut small and
served up warm; but hash-never
NJ. P.-How much do you take of,
when one Of your boa, I mean family
goes out Of town for a fortnight
Mrs. Dwell, You know, cir, thie Is
not q boarding house; and as Isaid be-
fore, all care for Is TO cover my expen-
ses and make both ends met. On that
account / never make any deduction for
temporary absence. am sure you would
10 perfectly satisfied II you would eN-
change reference.
Mr.. P.-Thank you; the exchange Of
opinions Is sufficient. will call again
tomorrow.
,.r r., HOUSE NUMBER THREE. sF
Enter Mrs. Acrid, a small woman with
wasp in her voice. 10. rra
Mrs. A. (Very,voluBl y}-Good morning,
sir. You're the gentleman that wanted q
half bedroom? Two got very desirable
one, filth story back, ,pFice. 80 per week.
Terms invariably In advance. Best OF
references. given and requircd.l q, Gas
twenty We cent8 paT week extra, wheih-
er you use It or whether you don't. No
visitors Of any description allowed, on
account Of the number ofrecent murders-
Ny carpets are all new. Can have your
tboots !bIacked ID the house u desired
| Use OF bathroom, without extra charge.
Breakfast at seven and 0 hall, lunch at
one, dinner at six. Best chops and steaks
In New York, sir. l broil mine-none Of
lyourffies for me. Dessert can't be beat.
The Mason Dofee don't set ., better, ]
ldon't talk like & boar ding hone keepef,
doI?" The fact q, I don't pretend to
keep a boarding house. Ny family would
never forgive me If /. did. Ny family is
ono OF the genuine old KnickerbOcker
families. You have heard Of Bishop Van
der Yelde5 Heis my uncle % my moth
er's eide. Ny father R1ag General Van
VinckenboOms. / was Miss Van Vinck.
enboomp. IhaVe money enough to live
on comfortably, but the iAct d like com
pany, and II can get few friends to live
with me, ask nothing better. You viii
understand. that / am not IN this business
10 make money. So that can Just make
accounts balance by the end OF the year
and have money enough 10 look after q
keep mo from thinking Of what II pasi
and gone, am satisfied, IHtrhth, am
losing money all the time but what Is thai
so long as my guests are comfortable
so that you sec MS impossible Tor me u
make deductions for transient absence
Next May shall probably break NJ
house, and go TO live on the Van Vicken-
booms estate. Oh you'll call again, sir
sd9a morning AI!ss'sHJilb Sa!1