The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1873-05-28
How tho ObissSsy Pnse:cnssssd -A,alse.
~ eddFamri,9s:fs s,"s. q IL >

proprietor OF tne morning glory, having
observed the disposition of persons who
have been bereaved Of their relatives to
give expression to their feeIings in pcs,
haps, be good thing to introddos to his
paper department Of obituary poetry.
So Mr.. Brimmer determined ,thnt he
| would, as an experiment., at any rate,
engage an obituary poet for q short
time, with the purpose to give him per.
manent employment. it the plan seen, ed
to take with the public. Accordingly.
he sent for Mr.. Remington OFT, n com.
poser of verses.
"You understand. Mr.. Ott," expiuined
Brimmer, that when the death Of an
individual is announced, 1 want you, as
it we're, to cheer the afflicted family with
the resources Of your noble art. I wish
you to throw yourself. you may Say, into
the situation, and to give them O verse
or two about the corpse which will seem
to be the expression Of the emotion OF
! Tie hearts cs :As !!-:a5.
ITO tighten the gloom. in certain
| sense?" said Mr.. OFT.
Precisely; tighten the gloom. Do
not mourn over the departed; but rather
take q joyous view OF desth, which,
after all, Mr.. OFT, is, as it we're. but the
W botteI 1fAe. lH0IplOfe, 1
would advise you to touch the heart
strings Of the afflicted with q tender
hand. and endeavor, for instance, to
divert their minds from the tomb"
Refrain from despondenoy, suppose,
and lift their thoughts to ---"
just 80; and, at the same time, com.
olne elevating sentiment with such
practical information as you can obtain
from the advertisement. Throw O gla
mour OF poesy, for instance, over the
oom mon-place details of the everyday
life Of the deceased.
! Iii throw of stanzas," said Mr. OF,
lin suoh manner that people will want
their friends to die for the sake of the
poetry"
! "But above ALL" continued the editor,
"take bright view OF the matter al.
ways: Make the sun-shine of smiles
break through the tempest of tears, and
If We don't make the Morning Glory hum
around among the mourners of this
town, my name is not Brimmer.
He was right; it.dii ham. The next
day Remington OFT waa put on duty, and
Brimmer went down to the sea shore for
a breath of fresh air. Ali through the
day death notices came pouring in, and
when one would reach OFT he would
seize 1t and stud ? il. up to ascertain it's
particulars. Then he would rush mp
stairs, lock himself in his room, take
down his rhyming dictionary. run his
hsgers through his hair, and hack away
half an hour at piece Of paper until he
considered that he had poetry in suoh a
shape that would make stricken family
feel proud of the corpse. When bis
days work was done, OFT went home
with conviction that the Mornino Glorv
had finally robbed death of it's terror.
and made life comparatively valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded
calmly to the Office for the purpose of
embalming in sympathetic verses the
memories OF their departed ones. Aa
ne came near to the establishment, he
observed crowd of 5000 or 6, 600 peo-
pie IN front OF it, struggling to get in at
the door. Climbing tree be overlooked
the crowd, and could see within the Of.
ice the clerks selling papers as fast as
they could handle them, while the mob
pushed, and jammed, and yelled, in
frantic efforts to obtain copy-the
presses in the cellar meanwhile Changing
away like mad. While upon the curb
stone in front OF him there was a line
that stretched.down the street for four
squares, each man engaged in reading
the paper with an earnestneee that Mr..
OFT had never before seen displayed by
the patrons Of that sheet. The bard
concluded that either his poetry had
touched sympathetic chord in the
popular heart, or that an appalling dis
aster had occurred in some portion of
the globe. He went around to the back
OF the Office and ascended to tho edito
rial rooms. Aa he approached the sane
tum, loud voices were heard within. Mr..
OF determined to ascertain the canse
before entering the Office. He obtained
chair, and placing it by the side door,
ho mounted and peeped over the door
through the transom. There sat J. All.
fred trimmer holding the Mornin1 Glorv
in both hands, while the fringe which
grew 'n semi-circle around the edge of
his bald head stood straight out, until
he seemed to resemble O gigantic gun
swab. Two or three persons stood In
front OF him in threatening attitudes.
one OF them was saying:
| My name is McGIue. I nm brother
OF the lnte Alexander McGIue. l picked
up your paper this morning, and per.
celVed an outrageous insult to nv de.
| ceased relative, and have come around