The Lincoln County herald., 1873-03-19

to marry a woman hud Aeeee seen o.
heard ot, except through hes own letters
aud more than all, been accepted. How
do l know but she's some superanuated
old maid. with red hair. glass eye. and
all the other falsi,;es chat 60 with such
husband hunting old hsgs, Tall, slim
and lauk as brooms,ict, I've no doubt.
Fred, if you can get me OUT Of this scvape,
III make you heir to my property, both
real and personal, when I shuttle off this
mor,a! coil which I am sure wont be
long, If l don't escape this womans
clutches"
Fred raised his boots about two feet
higher than his head, and proceeded to
think. After about five minutes of wig
orous thought, he brought them down
with decided emphasis and exclaimed
by Jove have hit it! You mus,
disguise yourself, you mnst change the
irresistible James Cameron into middle
aged man, with lame leg bumped back,
and deu,hly cough. All this can be
dore by the means Of gray wig, false
beard, spectacles, cane, &c. You must
cough consumptively, talk pathetically Of
three dead wives, weep profuseiy. refer
to your ten helpless children, and most
important Of all, talk Of your poverty,
and before the interview is ended papa,
or some big brother, will help you leave
the house if you aren't remarkably
active.
II bet you my new hat that you won't
be troubled with any more attentions
from this woman, be she handsome as
Venus or homely us q porcupine. BY
the way, where does Miss Somers
reside?'
"Bloomingdalo is her p. o. address
Fred you ure trump
Here James was interrupted with,
} Capital T. received an invitation from
that aunt of mine, who considers me such
a prodigy, to attend q party at her new
country residence a few miles from
Bloomingdale, early next week. l will
take you down as a friend any friend Of
mine is perfectly welcome at aunt Grls.
: wold's. You can visit Miss Somers &C
! cording to agreement, get rid Of her,
, come back aud attend the party, and fall
, in love with some half dozen Of the
Bloomiugdale bellies. You will thank
! your stars some day that this happened,
; if you should happen to win wife at the
, party"
: James waited to hear no more, but
, rushed frantically of in pursuit Of wig,
, suntf box, &c.
S On Friday afternoon Of this same week
s middle aged man, apparently fifty years
r Of age, dressed in secdy black, wearing
, large wooden comforter wrapped care
f; fully around his neck. with slight limp
e might have been seen weuding his WY
e up Mr. Somers' lawn, coughing con
sumptively as he approached the door.
:, In answer to his ring, he was shown
e into the parlor, and told to wait Miss
Somers coming.
d Kate, who bad been laughing hersel
into convulsons as Mile sent her tt
}, survey herself 10 the mirror ut every new
addition to her toilet, exclaimed as tht
# servant announced his arrival:
20, Maggie. how does he look ?"
!. Sure, ma 'am, he's q sickIy look,n;
" man, every bit as old as Mr.. Somers,
was the reply Of the grinuing domestic
8 "Now, Millie, for some fun. tel
} you, am dangerous. You slip dowr
}. into the closet and secrete yourself" ant
J. then Kate wended her way down stairs a
rapidly as her ample proportions woul'
n allow. ..
n Imagine James Camcron's feelings a
b, the door opened and u woman weighing
apparently two hundred pounds ,attircd Il
1t deep orange, with bright red hair, wear
$. ing glass over one eye, which abe after
&c wards informed him was to cover a
o empty socket, and q freckled face, ap
a preaching him. Oh"
!. She carried q smelling bottle in on
h hand, together with a volume of Watt
e Hymns; in the other vas an immens
p. peacock tail, which she used vigorousl
y as a fan. a... t '.n
u She opened her arms to embrace hu
h but he was seized with a violent ft q
| coughing, aud evsdsd the embrac,
y Without seeming to aotioe this, sh
exclaimed: t'
e "Beloved Of my heart, 10 1 ut Ia,
behold you?"
y She proceeded to compliment him o
'e his personal appearance.
ID lie told her how much she remindc
:" him Of his dear, dear Meliada. and ex
ir pressed great fear that she would G
just IS Melinda did. Here he was ovel
'g powered with emotion, and applied tn
Sc handkerchief to bis face 10 y touchiD
manner.
e lie inquired if she wasn't very del
cate 7 she replied she was, her, bea'
,e troubled her fearfally; she was the
d. seized with . slight fainting 6t, bu
= applied the smelling bottle to her nos
ly and recovered.
,e lie referred patheticaily to his te
he inooeeot children at home, aud said ia
IT their sakes be must select q health
Of women for his next wife, he eouldn
We deprive them Of q mothers care for III
fourth time. He referred 10 q dciica
as manner to his poverty; she told hi