Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

greater than she who composes books.
Tuv notato.rot is said to be caused by
the rot-tater-y motion OF the earth.
TIE mystery of the milk in the cocoanut
has been eclipsed by the hair on the out
side.
SAUsAGEs are said to be specific for
ague and fever, on account of the canine
in them.
PIrrsBURG suits some people. 1t scots
them so thoroughly that they have to
wash continually.
A FELLOW who soiled his coat by rub
bling it against ham. remarked, $50
much for Buckingham
The girls are forming boat clubs in va
rious parts of the country. AT present
they employ an experienced man TO pun
the stroke oar.
WOMEN are like horses-the gayer the
harness they have on the better they 1eel.
We got this from an old bachelor VINO was
early crossed in love.
THE old lady who used to dry her
clothes on the equinoctial line has gone to
Greenland to get the north pole to draw
cistern water with. a.
The Indiana reporter who gave an &C
count of a case of poisoning by corrosive
cumstance the subject of a tale.
"WHAT consumptives want is air. not
physic-pure air, not indicated air-and
plenty of bread and meat" So said the
late DR.. Marshall Hall, of England.
AMHERST College boys are now liable
to fine of one dollar for an unexcused
absence from college exercises, and for ten
such absences they may be expelled.
WHAT more precious thing can man
have. asks the New York Mail, than the
first love of an innocent girl-with an I'M
divided interest in fourteen boulevard lots.
The wife who had fortune left her by
her husband, on condition that she should
not marry again, has married Loss and
her Loss is not likely to prove his gain.
MISERABLE management was more APP
parent than the poverty of home talent,
when the New York State Editorial Con-
vention put off '' Mrs. Darlington for a
poet.
BALTIMORE is seriously discussing the
project of establishing grammar school
for advanced cOlored scholars. 1t Is an
encouragement to know that such a need
exists.
A FARMER, moving his meadow, was
observed to carefully avoid cutting the
replied that he wouldn't have any moved
dock around.
A WESTERN editor insists that he wrote
the word strousseau plan as a pike
staff in connection with certain bridal
presents. The printer, however, vulgar
ly put it trousers"
]. H. SAvILLE, chief clerk of the Treas
ury Department., lately made an esti-
mate that it would require 1915 tons and
$50 pounds Of gold to pay of the public
debt of the United States.
A MAN who fell into a vat of boiling
lard and got out alive says it was not an
unpleasant sensation after the first mo-
ment, but he thought what mighty queer
shaped doughnuthe would made.
WHEN young gentleman in Canada
wishes to pay attention to young lady,
he usually, If it be winter, undertakes to
kill her with kindness-by taking her out
and sleighing her.
SHIp-BUILDING on the Delaware, where
the white oak has long been favorite
material for ship-building, and once sent
to the ship-yards of New England in
large quantities for that purpose, is much
revived. q.
BURGLARS, thieves, pickpOckets, gam
blers, shysters, genteel loafers and all the
confraternity that live by their wis are
preparing for the grand summer exodus,
and will drop down at all the fashionable
watering places.
A DELAWARE peach-grower, disregard
ing the prophecies with regard to the de-
struction of the world in 1880, has con-
tracted to furnish New Y ork grocer with
peaches for ten years at forty cents
basket.
THEY dent succeed in restocking the
Thames with salmon. The water is too rich
with pOllutions. and the river is too much
obstructed with dams for such aristOcrat-
ic and fastidious fishes. We should as
soon think of raising goldfish in a cask
Of ink, or green turtles in tank of Jer-
sey lightning, as edible salmon in the
Thames.
A TENNESSEE paper tells of a woman
who sent her husband to buy jug of
molasses. He got drunk, and fetched
home the jug filled with whisky. She
took 1t up, smelled IL, set it back, and
then squaring herself arms akimbo and
eyes flashing, she exclaimed. "Where's
them molasses? ' The old man smiled
and winked pleasantly, and waving his
left hand propitiatingly, exclaimed,
"Them's They'll" He Is now GONZALES
cent but the jug is hopelessly deranged.
A FEW weeks ago well-known artist
had, according to custom, thrown open
his studio to his friends and patrons for
private view of his pictures intended for
the walls of the Academy. One repre-
scented merry party dancing, the hosts
face beaming with pleasure as he raised a
glass of Champagne to his lips. I" don't
know" said the artist to friend, "what
on earth to call this picture, or how to &C
count for the happy expression on the
face of the host. "Well, IL were you,"
replied the visitor, I" 1 should simply call
1t, Death of Mother-in-law
How to Spoil Yourself.