Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-15
BREVITIES.

jubilee. Vi
RAG PIcKERs-Men who live by hook
and by crook
A NEW YORK female seminary is going
to Europe to spend the summer.
| A CONVICT at Elmira dug his way out
of Jail with tablespoon last week.
THE Rhode Island Medical Society has
determined to admit women to full mem
bership.
Two BOYS, the oldest fifteen, stole
Georgia locomotive, the other day, and
run it fifty miles.
| A YOUNG husband handed his wife
dozen buttons the other day, and asked
| her to put shirt to them.
| A CLERGYMAN at Paris, KY, stopped his
prayer to lead an unruly man out by the
ear, and went on, Gas | was saying, 0,
Lord!"
| A WEST VIRGINIA pensioner received
check duly signed, but with the amount
left blank. The honest soldier returned it
for correction.
A HOME for aged and INDECENT dogs
where the UPSTREAM shall cease from
troubling, and the weary canine shall be
at rests Bergh's latest.
PEORIA has ghost which seems to be
| Of practical turn Of mind. 1t was last
seen to silently steal away with a scuttle
of coal and two sticks of cord wood.
THE City Marshal Of Westfield, La, hay
ing no place to confine his prisoners hand
| cuffs them to hitching-posts over night
providing each with an umbrella il it
| rains.
A WORTHY Kentucky farmer being ask
ed if a daughter, recently married, was
still living with him, replied: mo, sir!
When one of my gals swarms she must
| hunt her own hive"
THE fashion papers say the Rutabagas
beg pardon, we mean the Rabagas-iS
| the popular bonnet this season. You will
| know it when you see it, for the rim turns
up all around like a sailor hat.
| Mr.. A. ID. WILLIAMS, of Richmond, is
| become the Wealthiest man in Virginia,
| by simply investing 81 900 few years
ago in 10000 acres of land, which has
| since turned out to be immensely rich in
| coal.
COOKEs.-TwO cups white sugar, one
Of butter or fried pork fat, one cup of
| buttermilk, half teaspoonful salcratus.
| Season with nutmeg; mix rather soft roll
| thin, cut out and bake in a quick oven to
a light brown.
SOME men spend a fortune colorlng
their pipes. Others spend afortunc color
| ing their faces We know one man who
| has spent 900 simply in colorng his
nose and is not satisfied yet We hold
him up as beacon,-Gruphac.
THERE is a family living on Michigan
avenue, Chicago, the members of which
have a common birthday. The father is
forty five, the mother forty-two, and they
have three children, aged three, seven and
| thirteen. Each ones birthday is the 18th of
April.
Mrs. TAYLOR, of St. Louis, has obtain
| ed a judgment of $4,000 against the Iron
Mountain road for the killing Of her hus-
band, who was a switchman, and was
crushed to death while coupling two cars
that were not properly constructed.
Two LYNN boys, just in their teens, a
few days since stole slOop at that place,
and set sail for Florida, where an uncle Of
one Of them resides; but their visions Of
orange groves were cut short by the boat
| grounding in Lynn harbor.
THE handsomest dressed woman in New
\ DIRK just now is the wife of a street con-
tractor. Her dresses are made in Paris,
and the custOm-housc duties on them are
sufficient to buy an entire outfit for any
ordinary woman.
y MATRIMONIAL engagement was effect
ed by Atlantic cable last week. The lady
was in London and Romeo was in New
| York. "Will you have me-" cost four dol
lars, gold, exclusive of address; and
| yes" cost one dollar. Cheap at half the
price.
| THADDEUs STEVENS Caledonia pa
! Iron Works, with $4,000 acres OF land, are
to be sold, and the proceeds givento erect,
establish and endow a House of Refuge
in Lancaster, for the relief of homeless,
INDECENT orphans who have lost either
| parent.
! A VERMONT widower, aged seventy-six,
who has buried two wives, has lust mar
ried his first love, a widow, whom I'M
| toward circumstances prevented his mar
rylng in his youth. He has lived a wild
| over thirty years; she a widow less than
| twelve months.
THE most fashionable entertainments
are now lighted by wax candles, their
| lights being more "becOmingn to feminine
| compilations than the glare of gas. 1t is a
sad fact that to many trequenters thereof
utter darkness would be the most becom-
ing thing imaginable.
SCENE IN A HORSE CAR-Car stops:
smiling young lady enters: every seat full.
An old gentleman rises at the opposite
end. 90, don't rise" said the lovely girl.
81 can just as well stand" II don't care
whether you sit or stand" hereplied, Pm
going to get out"
Two RESPECTABLE young men have lust
been found guilty by the Criminal Court
at Murfreesboro, Tenn, under an indict
ment for disturbing public worship, and
fined $50 and costs each, amounting to
about $75. Their offense was whispering
to young ladies in church.
AN attempt is shortly to be made to
cross the Pacific, from San Francisco to
Japan, in a small sloop, thirty feet long.
She is named the Dolphin, and will carry
crew of three men in addition to the cap
tain. The object is to hunt sea-otter,
which are stated to be very plentiful on
the japanese coast.
In Bedford County, Pa, recently,
spigot worked out of a whisky barrel dur
ing the night, and several gallons of the
liquor ran out on the floor of the cellar
where the barrels where stored The fol-
lowing morning a number of rats were
found lying in the liquor in complete
state OF intOXication.
THIS is Pennsylvania corn doctors
prescription: "Wach yure foot and wen
Wlpt Dry Grape the Korn around the tope,
INTEL you see proper. Then apley amony
and water MKT half onz spirits amony
n 70