The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1873-10-14
VOL. XXXVIII.
A Raving

IN. P-For the benefit of ali intellectual
readers, am obligdd to say that Poe's "ltav-
en-" is n bnsc parody upon the following ex-
quisite morteau, Perhaps some imperinent
ana shallow critics may Snccringly assert that
"rhe Raven" was published before I had
emerged from childhood; but such contempt
ible insinuations hurl back with the scOrn
they deserve. Il have no objection, however,
to any ones saying that my poem is arres
Poe
Once upon midnight drcary. while found
ercd. weak and weary,
On an awful nubbly mattress. feeling very
LAM and sore;
Whilst promiscuously tumbllne, suddenly l
heard a rumbling,
Like n tipsy earthquake giumbling some
where near my chamber floor.
Or herd of bulls practising improvements
sOn their roar.
only that, and nothing more!
An distinctly l remember. twas hot night
in september,
And my chum in led beside me fell asleep
an hour before;
He slept soundly as n baby, and at first was
gaby,
For never thought that maybe he might
pcrpetrate n snore-
That the individual who lay by me might
perperate a snorc.
That it was and nothing more
There he lay. and groaned, and grunted. and l
own felt afronted;
Yet with patience quite enormous did quiet.
ly implore
That he wouldn't snore but cease it, and, il
nothing else would case it,
Take his windpipe out and grease it-that
would surely stop the snorc;
But he realty should appease it, it was such
an awful bore.
But he did 1t all the more
And he needed no imploring, but my patience
stll kept boring,
Weaving gaeps. and chokes, and gurglings, in
the fabric of his snore;
And it drove Inc to distraction for couldn't
SIZE cp fraction,
With his quintiple bacl. action reflex sympa-
thctir snore;
Why II constant tooth extraction wouldn't
make mo feel so sore
AS that horrfying snore
SO with energy astounding rosorted unto
pounding;
And pnched him, and beat him like n full
drum majors corps;
But didn't stop his isnorine-he regarded it
encoring,
And compliantly kept snoring nasal home
runs by the score,
TIL lie swelled the dulcet chorus fifty thou
sand or more
In one everlasting snorc
Then, despaiiingly,I ! took him ont of bed and,
having shook him,
Laid him n In mode sprcad-eaglc on the car
pet near the door;
Bat changing disposition didn't offer opposi-
tion,
For 1t favored the condition fordeveloping his
snorc,
And it made so much louder I'm inclined 10
think swore.
Quoth /. raving Darn that snurc. -
And in anger and vcxation, with Tremendous
desperation,
! danced upon the fellow ns he lay upon the
floor;
But this made his music Jcrky. Hike the goh-
bling of = turkey.
And throughout the darkness murl;y It re-
SOunuti more ana more
So my dancing was hut hootlcss 10 craplcate
his snorp
His Uncomfortable snore (,
Thon, with madness of fdeSpairing. | exhaust
ed all my swearing
And | flung the mattress on hinras hesprawl-
ed upon the floor;
And ! lcu him there Till morning, as aineian
choly warming
or the sad results of scoyning tender feelings
with >nnre;
Bat aslicdn final question-"W VIII you never
stop that snore?"
And its echo rs before,
Seemed to answer" Neverlnore ~
p. ". Clarke, in Boston Commonwealth.