The Volcano lubricator. (Volcano, W. Va.) 1871-1879, 1873-08-12
NO.. -.
How Relatives are Treated in
Peoria.

man, lives away down on Seventeenth
street. The other morning three old
ladies from Macon county came to his
house on a visit. They used to know
his wife before she was married. The
Squire welcomed them to his mansion,
aud then went out to his barn and
Swore for half an hour. While he was
soothing himself thus, his wife ca!lei
him into the house. She handed him
an umbrella to keep OF the sun. and
said the ladies had walked up from the
depot and had left some things there
for him to bring UP. So he brought
them up, making two round trips for
the Baskets. bandboxes and two black
oil cloth travelling bags, all OF which
the Squire discourtcously called sin
ternal old traps"
AS he sat in the back kitchen wiping
his brow, his wife brought out the mar
ket basket and said there was not bit
OF sugar or lea in the house, and she
remarked that while he was going down
town he might as we'll get the moasses
Jug filled. The Squire asked her how
long those migratory old pelicans were
going to stay. And she asked him il
he thought she woula be so rude as to
ask them. Then the Squire went down
and laid in the groceries. When he
got back his wife said she had forgot
ten something, and thought Of it when
it was just too late. She must have
corn starch. The Squire asked ifany
Of the old scare e-crows had dropped the
least hint as 10 the duration Of her
visit. She said not. The Squire look
ed sad and discontented.
When he laid the paper OF corn
starch on the kitchen table his wife
said they must have Goldfish for dinner.
One oil the ladies said in the course OF
conversation that she liked Goldfish.
The Squire asked if the old buzzards
had yet committed themselves on the
extent OF their present roost. She said
he ought TO be ashamed OF himself.
When he slapped the Goldfish down
on the table with a whang, his wife got
him to bring in some water and wood;
sad Mrs. Spoonaugcr never dlned
without ale, and the Squire was asked
if he would not go down and bring up
4 bottle. He asked if he should not go /.
into the parIor aud get those old cor
morants 10 make out list Of what
they did like, and furthermore ask il
they were yet silent as to when :hey
were going away.
lie got the ale, and for fear he would
have 20 90 again lie got an express
wogon and loaded it with all sorts OF
garden truck, bottle Of whisky, q box
of sardines, 4 pound Of snuff, some
cove oysters, dried apples, beans,
smoked tongue, cut and dried tobacco,
picked walnuts, CANNED corn, macke-
rel, split peas, etc.
The next day the Squire went down
town only eight times.
Early next morning he started out
into the country TO see man. When
lie got home he asked his wife if any
time had been set for the departure,
On the evening Of the following Mon
day one Of the ladies said she thoush sht
they ought to start on the next Friday,
so as TO reach horne before Sunday.
:lrs. Binks said iney' oughtn't to be in
a hurry The Squire groaned, and said
they ought 20 stay and make their visit
out. On Friday morning the Squire
had an express wagon at the door, but
his wife said tho ladies had concluded
to STAY over the Fourth. Then the
Squire went out TO saw wood ana con-
verse with hanscli. Pe1is.v.
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