The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-02
ETIQUETTE.
The Question Seldom or Never
Raised i'm Good Society.
Small Places Generally Afflicted
With Numerous Arbitrary
Rules.
True Good Breeding a Natter Of
the Heart, and not the Head.
The Difference Between the Real
Article and the Sham.
fErou, the Chicago T.ihune.l

LUG qucstiOh VI Ct4uOsso 10 ooS -" AASAA
seems properly to belong to only two
classes: royalty itself, and people not
sure of their position. 1t is the old story
of the meeting of the extremes. In con-
nection with those few chosen ones who
are born to rule, We frequently hear that
etiquette prescribes such and such forms
are to be observed in regard to them. In
being presented at court, you may and
you may not do certain things. After
that, each caste has its special rights, its
special shibboleth, to which its children
are born. to which they grow up, and
which custom makes second nature to
them. 1t follows, therefore, that. in all
good society. questions of etiquette are
SELDOM OR NEVER RAISED.
There are certain minuti;e which are
matter of course, and which the members
OF that society have grown up TO. They
consider q fork the proper implement 10
convey fOodto the mouth; napkins Q ne
cessity; that the guest whom they delight
to honor should have the right hand OF
the host at table; that gentlemen do not
keep their hats on in the presence OF la,
dies, nor take their coats off; and that
explanatory language OF the intense
kind 10 decidedly bad form outside Oft
bar-room. Otherwise, all such ques-
tions settle themselves, or have been set
tied in the due course of civilization.
1t is only in small places that are try
ing to ape large ones. or among little
people who are ambitious to seem great
ones, that there is any serious disturb
ance of mind regarding the prophecies or
conventionalities OF social science. Go
to q country town, blessed with circula-
ting library, where the rising generation
read a great deal. but have very few OPP
portunities of mingling with the broad
current of city lite, and you will find
MORE ARBITRARY RULES
than you ever imagined before. You
| will be subjected to close questioning as
to whether this or that is CONNIE il fault.
1t will be useless to assure these neO>
phytes that you have never thought of
the matter; that the question OF etiquette
is not constantly discussed among we'll
bred people and that there rarely rises
an occasion in which any deviation from
the ordinary rule of everyday life is req
uisite.
AN INCIDENT
occurs 10 US which happened in an East
ern city. A lady of whom it ia not pos
lively known whether an ancestor of hers
had come over in the MsyfiOwer, or been
q friend of old Peter Stuyvesant, moved
into certain neighbOrhood, and was
called upon and introduced into certain
clique. They regarded themselves as
the creme de la creme of society, and
prided themselves on their perfect knOwl-
edge of all etiquette upon which good
breeding was supposedly based. But
who was the newcomer? She dressed
well her manners were courteous, even
elegant; there was no grammatical imper-
lection in her language; her conduct
was propriety itself; she had money; and
there had been a Sir. -; 60 all the
necessary requirements were fulfilled.
Still, this BODY CT lAlr danes became un-
easy. Their fathers were merchant
princes. and 30 were their husbands; they
didn't say much about their grandfath-
ers. 1t was a terrible dilemma to be
placed in, and the question must be sOlv-
ed. The how and where were decided.
A lunch was given, and the lady was in
vifed. 1t was arranged that she should
CUT AND SERVE A LEMoN-PUDDING
and her eligibili,ies to be accepted as a
lady, or discarded as nobody, turned
upon the manner in which this was
done. The fatal moment arrived. All
eyes were upon her. Two implements
were before her, knife and spoon.
Each feminine heart thrObbed high with
hope or fear as they were affected to-
ward the fair creature upon trial. For
tunate woman, She took the spoon;
she was one OF them. But, had she taken
the knife, what would have been the re-.
suit? OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES bj
these self-elected censOrs. Now, witt
all due respect for the observance of sd
ciety, the secret of true etiquette lies far
below any of them. 1t is matter of
the heart, and not the head; and its
whole expression lies in the simple in
tentiOn to hurt no ones feelings, NO
matter what their station or position.
Herein lies the secret Of all goodbreed-
ing,-the soul Of all etiquette.
NO TRUE LADY
rules society and is not ruled by it, Such
q woman can hardly be defiled by any
SOCI0l pftCu WITH DIG GDLlC III
contact. 1t will not stick to her. and she
can afford to live her life unhampered by
small conventionslIties. There is but
one other class to whom this is possible,
and that is the very poOr,-they who
have nothing to lose, and who are of no
account ip the worlds estimation who
have been born to a life of hardship and
toll. Not that money has anything to do
with the position of the true lady. She,
too, may be poor in worldly goods; but
she is rich in possessing herself.
In fact, those people who are most un-
easy in respect to their conduct and APP
pearance are generally the nOuveaux
riches, who are anxious to
APPEAR WHAT THEY ARE NOT.
They have lett their true station and
probably kind hearts behind them, and
are merely supercilious shams, because
they cannot realize how much wiser it
is to be natural and true. These are the
people who are afraid of contamination
with what they are pleased to consider
the lower orders. A acknowledging, in
stead of making them wOndrous kind,
makes them wOndrous arrogant and I'M
easy. They are impsled upou the tent
En- hooks Of what they consider etiquette,
and are more afraid Of what they are
pleased to consider a sOlecism in good
manners than they are OF coming in graft
itude or being guilty offalsehOOd, They