Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1873-01-23

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Lord called him. Called him to do
nothing at all, did He? said 1. The
old lady was silent. l didn't like to
hear her tell lie. if it was to help my
feelings.
The third time preached, l got half
way through, and in came celebrated
man. and l stopped, saying 4 won't
preach before him. That was my
trouble-I had no training.
GRAND SERMONS TRIED on.
Then tried to get up sermon in
style. made three grand divisions
and then l sub-divided each grand
division into three subdivisions, and
SO had from firstly to twelfthly to
speak about. l broke into the first
Grand Division and could 60 no far
ther. Then l broke down. Said
Let US pray After offering prayer,
lup and went at it again. but left
my Grand Divisions and haven't pick
ed 'em up since. Whenever l get
stuck in the middle Of sermon get
down and pray, and the Lord always
clears up the muddle.
HOW TO soUELCH BUsYBoDr.
once had man in my church who
was meddlesome. Finally l told nv
congregation a story. When l used
to drive stage, says l, 'and they
used to ask me to let 'em get on the
box, | used to say, Yes, only don't
take the reins'.' The meddlesome
man took. l had no more trouble
from him.
HOW HE CURED DRINKING SINNER.
There was rum-seller in my church
once, and he was his own best custom.
er. In our meetings he always used
to say, 'Ol | am great sinner No
body disputes you,' said to him once,
in the meeting.
One day he had ten gallon keg of
new rum, and went down TO his shop
and found him drunk | shook him
up, and says / If you'll stop drink
ing, I'll buy every bit of new rum
you've got and pay you for it,'-that
was the time when new rum was worth
35 cents per gallon.
'lt's trade, says he.
SO l brought it out into the floor,
opened the 5ung, and let the rum run
on the floor. He was just kneeling
down to pray, and hearing the liquor
spilllng, opened his drowsy eyes and
hiccoughed out: 'Dont-waste-it, don.
waste-it.' Those were the first words
of his prayer.
Let it go, said /.
But 't'asn't bin messered,' says he.
Guess at it, then, and be sure and
call it enough, and I'll pay for it, re-
turned |.
Then | rolled the keg into the street
and knocked in the head with an AK.
we must get the rum out before we
can get the gospel in,' said 1.
This, remember, was practical
Maine law, before Maine law was
thought Of.
Ifyou will believe it. the man never
drank another drop of liquor, and be-
came good member of the church.
COMFORT TO DIscoRDANr PsALMIsrs.
AT one camp-meetlng there was
singing master present, but | couldn't
get him to lead the singing, SO the
people went at it themselves. One
was sharp. another fiat. One sang one
tune another different tune, and the
noise was SO terrible, said, Sing the
last verse, if you please When the
noise subsidized, l told them that it was
blessed thought, we could all get in
one Key and join in one tune, when we
got to Heaven,
4 REIoRI.
was i'll the Christian Commission
IN the army, and was only insulted but
once, and that by an old surgeon, and
when he asked me saucily where l
came from, replied: From Maine.
where became we'll acquainted with
man who minded his own business
lie was ever my good friend after
wards.
MINISTERIAL GOSSIP.
have had many pleasant hours In
ministerial associations. One minister
said to me once that l was like
rickety cart-wheel, which whipt out
and killed snake at the roadside and
then whipt in again. l replied, That
was better than rolling SO reg'lar as
not to kill any snakes at ALL
A Baptist brother said to ME once
You Methodists have too much ma
chinery.' 'Well,' l replied. 'hut it
don't take SO much water to run ours
as it does yours
once knew terrible dull preacher
--he was always late to church. One
day he preached from the text, Feed
my lambs. He talked an hour and q
quarter. When he closed, l got up
and said: In order to raise lambs
well, have always thought three
things were necessary: To feed in
season, q little at time, and give it
TO 'em warm
CAMP-NERTrNC vNCrprvr