The Robesonian. [volume] (Lumberton, N.C.) 1870-current, 1873-08-20
From the Red Hook N. Y. Aurora Borealis
A Crystal WessdiEsgs


A Crystal WesstsiEsg
The circle of acquaintance zFas largo,
the invitations numerous and the pres
ents all that could be desired.
The preparations made for tie enter
tainment Of expected guests; wsre com.
plete and satisfactory, with GRE particu-
lar exception. The music wo Be good
nndanbt aedIig. tbt-s
I the decorations superb, but 'lsi9ner the
fortunate minister who received the first
fee for joining the loving pair fifteen
years before, nor the minister of the
church to which they now belonged,
would be present, and SO when the time
arrived for the ceremony, which every
body expected, there was no one "of the
cloth on hand to officiate It therefore
became apparent that the usual ceremony
appropriate to such occasions was impos-
ible To have it poorly done would be
worse than burlesque, and as something
must be done, 1T was determined to
have it as regular as possible. It's often
much easier to succeed in making per-
formance very bad than in an attempt to
make it moderately good. Having for
many years consistently sustained my
claim to the title of batchelor Of carts
was Designated as the one most properly
fitted to conduct the "victim' through
the trying ordeal Of their crystalization.
It was no less trying to me, but as [ had
no family to leave destitute, surrendered
myself and was soon ready to do nay part
toward making it "killing affair by
taking the Office of ezecutioner.
Keeping step with the familiar "Wed.
ding March" the bridal party entered
the crowded parlor and took position ac-
cording to the most fashionable custom,
when armed with a copy of Byron and
sundry scraps sofhurricdly writrcn rhymes
| conceded within the book, I appeared
: before them, and with as much ct minis
} terial dignity of manner and voice as /
could command, began as follows:
It's iiIseea ycisrs ago to-uJy.
Since by his ribless side
f Stood Sarah in her ribbins gay,
4 blooming olushing bride.
l a ribless side I said? ah yes,
c You know the story well,
How man awoke with one rib less
! And then at Eve he fell.
n How then in Eden God declared
e He should no longer tarry.
It And thus BY misery prepared,
I He sent him forth to marry.
e His weakness since has followed men
n In every walk of life,
d And every one betrays it when
n, He takes hims elf a wife,
< When from the rest of human kind,
j. He picks a bone-to wed,
10 Al last, as tits m est meat to find
les by the rib-bones led
} For eEersince the primal Fall.
j When men invented trowsers
is There has been trouble among them all
o To keep them off their spouses.
IS Following this came the usual ques
n tions to witness and candidates, sue
at as-Will you forever keep the peace
,e to the former, and to the groom-D
n you wish to maryland why? VIII 20
il love, support and obey? etc. To tn
is bride-will you submit to be loved, ho1
Sc ored and obeyed by your leige SO long
cs you both do live outside Of the State (
in Illinois ? These questions, and Other
~ Of grave import, having all been answere
is satisfactorily, they were joined in hand
, paddock.
" The groom then saluted his bride
he these touching words: -
en- Your eyes my dear are bright and clear,
-, Your teeth like fairest pearls,
Nowhere can hair be found more fair
Among million girls!
It" Nor Gun hand in all the land
lily Your lilly-white hand eclipse;
nd But more than eyes or hands prize
ne pair of lucious lips!
he What of your face or queenly grace
mt Without loving kiss;
al They all to me could only be
nd Imaginary bliss.
oe Then give me this one perfect bliss,
20 Which cannot be effaced
my To fold your charms within my arms
oh And take long sweet taste
'ch 70 which she responded
i"S For fifteen years you've done it till
ms shouldn't think you'd care;
ing You're like car conductor who
md Is always taking fare.
But sometimes he does give US change
1oi You gave me change of name,
me- And change to spend, tits true, but then
pom You're always jsut the same.
"Pe But after fifteen years I've grown
ai To like you as you ore;
7ate like you as conductor and
ded Won NAV take the fare ] w r.