Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-04-02
Funnygraphs.

From the L,usvilic C.yuricr-Journsi.l
IN the convention which framed
the Federal Constitution, in the
course Of debate as TO tho titles
which should bc given to tie various
officials, DIR. Franklin brought the
whole matter into dcrision by propo.
sing that the Wee President be styled
"Ifis Most Supernuous Highness
AS this officer now receives the hand.
some sum of $4,000 per annuln for
sitting in soft chair, gayel in hand,
and looking as wise cs an owl, II. mnst
be admitted that official superAuity.
like goodness, brings great gain 70
its owner, if not to the country.
Pinchback, Grants negro Senator
from Louisiaua, complains that his
Radical friends in the Senate are
treating him badly. They don't treat
Pinch well, that's n fact. They not
only decline to sleep with him, but
absolutely refuse to lend him their
best clothes.
An exchange says that Grant IL
anxious for war, SO that his sons
military genius may be the moro
speedily developed. II the SON 10
ambitious of military fame, he should
follow in the footsteps of his father,
and trust, not to genius, but to &C
cidcnt.
! \ Tennessee exchange imperti-
ncniiy says that when one young
woman asks another "What are your
politics." che only means to ask what
new spapers she prefers for q hustle.
The girls only want TO put their pol
tiles where they will do most good.
An cxcha:..c says the school board
Of san Francisco discharges school
. misircsscs whcn,hey sW ear. Pious Ian
suagc is alwn, ,sculn.ncniable inschool
nistrcs.es but we dcspise to sec u
board too particular about trifies.
| Mrs. Joseph lIol:iger, ofLancaster,
Pa, is only thirty years older than
acr husband, aud yet she has been
compelled to sue him for desertion.
rhc rascal seems to have had mo re-
spect for her gray hairs whatever.
In St. Louis. the other Sunday, tha
iteY. DR.. Burlingame preached from
the text: "iIow old art thou?" The
next day about one-third Of the
women in his congregation called
around to tell him that it was none
of his business.
Tennessee is peopling her penitcn.
tiarv with horsc-th;cvcs sent up for
twctny-one years. Things have
come to such pass in that State that il
is now cheaper for a needy Christian
to go to W worl and buy horse than to
steal one.
| The Southern papers have begun
their annual task of advising the
people to plant less cotton. And, 81
soon as the people read such advice,
they Immediately so to buying more
cotton seed and hiring extra hands.
The Providence Herald says virtue
, was always n secondary considerable.
: with the eX-Rcv. Senator Harlan, bu
people who know him better say tba
it never was consideration with
him of any sort.
a couple of parents in Pennsyl@a.
MIA have named their child Parcpa
Nilsson Kellogg Eusk. And this, too
in n State where there is n society for
the prevention of cruelty to animals
Mr.. Gladstone was anxious to re-
tire from public life, but could find
nohody to take his place. In this
country thcreis nobody who wouldn't
have taken his place.
The Boad of Mayor and Aldermen
Of II town in Pennsylvania has recog-
nized the Spanish Republic. Oi
course the rest of the powers will no
logger stant! back now.