Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1873-07-31
SITTING FOR A PHOTO.
GRAPH. -"
A Great Event in Mans
-t+ 100. Life. ,..,f.er,l -..f

Having photograph taken is one of
the great events of mans life. The
chief desire is to look the very best, and
on the success Of the picture hinges. in
many cases, the most important epochs
in life. To work. up proper appear
anee time enough is used which, if de-
voted to catching fieas for their phos-
phorus, would cancel the entire nation
al debt and establish a New York daily
paper. When you have completed your
toilet you go to the gallery and force
yourself into a nonchalanee of ex-
preston that is too absurd for anything.
Then you take the chair, spread your
legs carefully, appropriate calm and
very Indifferent look, and commence to
perspire. An attenuated man with
pale face, long hair and soiled nose
now comes out of cavern and adjusts
the camera Then he gets back of you
and tells you to sit, back as far as you
can in the chair, and that it has re-
markable backward spring. After get
ting you back till your spine interferes
with the chair itself, he shoves your
head into a pair of ice-tongs, and DASH
es at the camera again. Here, with a
piece OF discolored velvet over his head
he bombards you in this manner: "Your
chin out little, please" The chin is
protruded. g That's nicely; now q lit
tie more" The chin advances again,
and the pomade commences to melt and
smart for freedom. Then he comes
back to you and slaps one of your hands
on your leg in such a position as to give
you the appearance of trying to lift it
over your head. The other is turned
under itself, and has become SO sweaty
that you begin to fear that it will stick
there permanently. A new stream of
pomade finds its way out and starts
downward. Then he shakes your head
in the tongs till it settles right, and
says it looks like rain, and puts your
chin out again, and punches out your
chest, and says he doesn't know what
the poor are to do next winter unless
there is radical change in affairs, and
then takes the top of your head in one
hand and your chin in the other, and
gives your neck a wrench that would
earn any other man prominent posi-
ton in new hospital. Then he runs
his hand through your hair and scratch
es your scalp, and then steps back to
the camera and the injured velvet for
another look. By this time new sweat
and pomade have started out. The
whites of your eyes show unpleasantly
and your whole body teels as if it had
been visited by an enormous cramp,and
another and much bigger one was mo-
expected. Then he points at
for you to look at, tells you
% look cheerful and composed, and
away the velvet, and pulls out
lis watch. When he gets tired, and
'ou feel as if there was but very little
eft in this world to live for, he restores
he velvet, says it is an unfavorable day
or picture, but hopes for the best,
nd Immediately disappears in his den.
Then you get up and stretch yourself,
lap on your hat, and Immediately
neak home, feeling mean, humble and
together too wretehed for description.
he first friend who sees the picture
ays he can see enough resemblance to
make certain it is you, but you have
ried to look too formal to be natural
nd graceful.-Danbnry Neaos. H y