, 1873-12-27

0'Dren, IT,, boasts Of weather "cold enough
to mako Polar bear wear Arctic overshoes.'
A Brooklyn man. who never Ind q Bwoot-
heart, Bays he takos solitary satisfaction iu
standing around tho railroad depots and seeing
the women huge
- DO try aud talk littlo common nensc!'
oxclamcd G ~ sarcastic Young Indy to visitor.
taking an unfair advantage Of you p
An old lady OF '1ackuon, Tenn, has asked
the city authorities to exempt her from city taxed
as sllo seldom walks over sheir sidewalks or
pnvomontH.'
An advertisement in an Irish paper, setting
forth tue MANY convononcos and advantages to
bn derived from metal wildow-HnaIlcg, among
other particulars observed " That those Bashen
would las. foreyer-lnl afterwards il Tho owner
had no uso for thom, tlioy could bo sold for old
iron."
In former times tho Government allowance
given to tho widows Of Scotch clergymen vas
nearly equal to tho clergyman's atipcudR. A
Lammormoors. having wooed lass in humble
circumstances. the father Of the damaol, when
consulted On tho subject, aaid, 'Tak' i'm, jon
ny, tall i'm, hos as guild dead aa lyin'."
hnid au aiiin'g ;oy don't want to die yet, for
Two no acquaintance in hcaTen." "Wlly, yes,
my boy" baId Lis mother. " thero's your dear
old gtandfatlor, nnl lulo Lainy, the gardencr'a
last week." '' Wol1," paid tho little fellow.
" Harry md I always did quarrel, and the ger
dcner's child speaks nothing but Dutch, and !
hnye grown so since grandpa. died ho would not
know mo when got thero."
First yiator-a What ilno eyes little yicto.
has!" Second ditto (fona Of quoting-" Yes, hs
has arl eye like Mars" Hostcss {young rich
beautiful, aud ignorant)-'' Do YOU, think &C
1ealIy2 Now, have always thought that ho has
his fathers eyeB.''
-"p:usc here, my friend, rs you pass by;
As yon now are. 30 once Was I;
As now am, 20 you must be; =
Tlefafure prepare to follow mt."
1t il said that once au isreyotont wig Gp-
pontlcd to this inscription tie following re-
| joinler:
ITO follow you Tin not content,
Until Anow which way yon went"
--Mastor Coyillo received Z prize Friday after
| noon for u composition on Reverence. and fur
! thor distinguished himself in tho evening, Oh
| the occasion OF the PASTORS visit, Ivy
shutting tho tails Of the dominios. coas
| in tho parlor door and impoliug him 70
chair. Tho pastor returned home with cloud
| on Ills brow, and ono Of Coyile'B coats OH hia
bacl, leaving Master Coyilio executing horn
| plpo iu tile woodshed, under tho auspices Of hia
| fathor.-Danbury News.
Tho other dag, at concert, 9 gentleman
! having put his hat upon CHAIR to Keep place.
returned to claim it after short absence. Thu
| hat ho found. sure enough where it Ind beeu
loft, only thore was stout lady sittins on It;
Madam, sad lie, ..you arc aitting on my hat."
Tho lady bluahed little, turned round, and said
y tho Dlal'aoat manner: ''oh, I beg pardon!
I'm suro thought it was my lusDands."
| e. @. Perrin as Il Gut-fsxtcrnsiitutor.
Erom The sehoharie ty. ~ Republican.
| Tho General Clork Of tho Court of Appoa'a
| when "at homo resides ut Janmca, Oh Lon5
Islaul. Long Island haa alw4yB baeu famous
| for its in,tnonso crop Of cats Each yoar's clop
| plicty Of cats il fearful to behold; almost aa
fcarrl il, fact, Nj tho fearful concerts to which
| tho people are nightly subjected. For some rca
| son ur other AIr. Perrin was favored with nord
than his share OF thogo free concerts. much IL
llis delight, Of courao. and to tho dagnst ~
| course) Of his losY fortunate lnigAbors. AZ
leugtll this fayoritisM became ucndurable, a1ld
Perrin hit upon Happy expedIent to return tho
maineI on tho roof, and Pcrrin pretended to
wash it Of by sluicing thteo or four tubfuls OF
hot water over tho shiuglos. The, conse-
quenco waa that in an hour the en-.
world can bo. That hight, while Perrin was VII.
ting ut his bedroom window gazing ouE into tho
moonlight, he saw u cut suddenly dash downward
through tho air with paw stratclsud toward oaeh
point Of tho compass, its fur e!o7ated' ana a!s
lungs emitting terrblo yell: In u minute down
| calio another. TAou IL third wont sousli's pasl.
and before it reached tho ground fourth Gang
polting down. End thcn fifth. doubled up ala
cawi.s ut the other naa tho moom!!sIh1 aSio' lgr
hold, and 80 until about 150 had descended. Ineil
| phenomcno,l. Io ascc1,,lod to the tasseelt aud
| ionkol out through the tsap.dQor: Iheie
| ho saw Il procogaion OF Go0 or 7oUteata, fcaeA.
iug il, single tIls fron, tho yard up over tue shed
a,ld tic back building to tho crown OF tho root
Of tho house, They wero all moving; and, aa
tlle chi at lilo head Of tho procession reached
tia nenE OF tho roof. 1t would look around fur Ii
mimic and wonder where its predecessors had
rono. Thon itB feet would slip. It would
ccIutrl a,id claw aud grab at tho ,co but still II
would 70 sailing down with increasing speed
until it roacl,od tho odge, when it would shy out
into space md dash OF toward tho pavement.
It was interesting to Perrin to obsorvo tho pro.
ccssion. Lie neyor before roalixcl tho beauty ut
tho Inv Of nature which attructp bodies to tue
earth. Those catB noyur climbed hlu root again;
| Eshty-fons died on tho spot, md 1t Is beliayo1
tut 400 Of thonl broke thoir logs autl Abandoned
tho nocturnal soronalng business permanently.
Perrin, being Il great humnnitannn, des'ioa
! publicity nlado Of this and catastrophe. to tha
ond TINT in future tlloso musical tnnocontp'
when they 60 abroad, may nyoid slipposy placos'
| john 4. pavis, living three miloa aoutll Of
Bon,onas,l, Aad four hoHs killed by The wolves
last Sunday night. Tho hogs wore cunhnod ~
pou, but ton rods from tho houso. William Y nm
Kumuoy, living iu tho noighborhood saw threo
wolves running over tho prairie not long e1neo.
md t1,n brntes arc getting utlnGr0lH IN @AD tlus