The Van Buren press., 1873-02-18

MISCELLANY.
The New Department in the " Morning
Glory"
BY MAX ADELER.

AuS Now department III INC AoiuAuS
Glory"
BY MAX ADELER.
j. Alfred Brimmer, Esq, editor Of the
Morning Glory, having observed the dis
position Of persons who have been be
reavsd Of their relatives to give expires
sion to their feelings in peetical form,
reflected that it might be . good thing to
introduce in his paper a department Of
obituary poetry. He considered wheth
er if, when an individual inserted fifty
cents worth Of death otce, the stab.
lishment should contribute gratuitously
half a dollars worth ofmortality stanzas,
his paper would not at onco become the
most popular vehicle for the conveyance
Of that peculiar form of melancholy in
tslligence to the public. And Mr.. Brim
msr rightly estimated that as most news.
paper readers seem to take a deeper in.
terest in such sspulehral news than in in
formation Of any other kind, the journal
containing the largest supply would have
the greatest number fsubscribers.
So Mr. Brimmer determined that he
would, as an experiment at any rate, :
gage an obituary poet for short time,
with view to give him permsnsut ern
ployment if the plan seemed to taNe with
the public Accordingly he sent for Mr..
Remington OFT, eonstructer of ,cr'
es, who had frequently centr'hut@d IL ,Ae
columns of the Morning Glort poems
which would have been cnnsidatsa %. Is
fastidious student of En- ~ l... a.p-s
of an appalling ana reys'u3.oHE canr
acter,
Mr Rrimmer soor cfscsoc al arrange
ment with me tl. BY which 't Ns,
agreed ,hat NJ. o.. should tak posi-
tion in the Office for a short tme, and
whenever a death notice arrived he
should immediately Cndeayor to grind
out some uerses expressive Of the situa
ton.
"You understand, Mr.. OFT, explained
Brimmer, " that when the death OF an in
dividual is announced, want you, as it
we're, to cheer the afflicted family with
tho resources Of your noble art. wish
you to throw yourself, as you may
say, into their situation. and to give them
a verse or two about the corpse which
will seem 20 be the expression of tho en-.
otOn Of the hearts ofthe living"
To tighten the gloom in certain
sense, l suppose p said Mr., OFT.
Precisely Tighten the gloom. Do
not mourn over the departed; but rath-
or take joyous view Of death, which,
after all, Mr.. OFT, is, as it were, but the
entrance to better life. Therefore, l
would advise you to touch the heart
strings Of the afflicted with tender hand
and cndesvor, for instance. to divert their
minds from contemplation OF the hor
rors Of the tomb.
"Refrain from despondency, ] sup
pose, and lift their thoughts To-"
Just SCI And at the same time com
bine slevating sentiment with such prac
tical information as you can obtain from
the advertisement. Throw q glamour OF
poesy, for instance. over the common
place details Of every, day life of the de.
ceased. People are fond Of minute de-
scriptions. Some facts useful for this
purpose may be obtained from the man
who brings the notice to ihe office, 9th
srs you may readily supply from your
imagination"
"Tll throw off stanzas," said Mr. OFT,
in such manner that people will want
their friends to die for the sake of the
poetry"
"But above all, )" continued the sdi
tor, "tske a bright view Of the matter,
always. Make the sunshine OF smiles, as
it were, burst through the tempest Of
tears; and, if we don't make the Morn
ing Glory hum around the mournsrs of
this to wn, my name is not Brimmer.
He was right. 1t did hum.
The next day Remington OFT went on
duty, and Brimmer ran down to the sea
shore for breath of fresh air. All
through the day death notices came pour
ing in, and. when one wsula reach OF,
he would seize it and study it up to as
certain the particulars. Then he weuld
rush up stairs, lock himself in mis- room.
take down his rhyming dictionary, run
his fingers through his hair, and ha"A
away for half an hour at a pieer )t qa
per until he considered that he fad l7a,
piece pi I''liN 'h S'"' '''N' "'.''
make toe stricken FAM FL proud Of
'be corpse When his dap, work. w1s
done. Ou went homt vit conviction
that the Morpine Glory h. finally rob-
bed death Of it's tcrrors, and made life
comparatively valueless
In the morning Mr.. OF proceeds
calmly to the office for the purpose OF
smbaiming in sympathetic verse the
memories of other departed ones As
he came near the establishment be OBJ
served a crowd Of five or six thousand
people in front fit, struggling to get in
to tho door. Climbing tree, he over.
looked the crowd and could see within
tho Office the clerks selling papers as fast
a. they could handle them, while the mob
pushed and jammsd aud yelled in frantic
efforts to obtain copies-the presses in
the cellar mean while changing away like
mad. Upon tho curbstsne in front Of
him there was line of men stretching
down the street for four squares, each
man engaged in reading the Morning
Glory with xa earnestness that Mr. Qtt
had never before seen displayed by the
patrons OF that sheet The bard con.
sluded that either his poetry had touch
cd a sympathetic chsrd in the popular
heart, or an appalling disaster had occur
red in somc quarter Of the globe.
He won't around to the back Of the Of
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