St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-01-17
Humorous.

fi'''hl iN' W wv utNl HlHS NdS
picked up by eleven bald-headed an
gels and pushed through ten yards of
lead pipe.
\ youth visiting il Quaker family
WAS invited to remain to dinner, but
declined. Finding his stay very agree
able, he resolved to change his mind,
and so advised his host, who replied.
"Nay. verify, | cannot permit thee to
tell lie i'll my house" The boy dined
at II tavern.
An Irish doctor advcrtiSes that all
pcr.,"ns afflicted with deafness may
hear of him in IL house on Ditfey street.
where also blind persons may see him
daily from three to ten o'clock.
At one of the ragged schools in Ire
land Il clergyman asked the question.
Nv hat is holiness - \ pupil in dirty.
battered rags. jumped up and said.
''Plaze Yer rivercnce. it is to he clane
inside"
\ Connecticut editor having got into
q controversy with a contemporary. con-
graduated himself that his head WAS
safe from IL 'donkry's heels His con-
Temporary absolutely inferred. from
this. that he was unable to make both
ends meet.
An agricultural paper says >trawher-
ry beds may he protected from birds
10y running Il wire along the walk. To
which acat is chained. Her movements
up and down the wire will keep the
birds away. Where there is no chain.
the wire can bc run through the eat.
and heated t" Il temperature that will
fill the eat with Il longing to keep NOV
ing.
The Cincinnati Times records the
following conversation through Il mcdi-
um. us Il touching triumph of spiritual
ism:
".Iames." said the weeping Gould.
where are You p "In hell" said james.
- How are You getting along ," said
Jay. "Bully, old pard." replied Prince
Erie. You see I've put the fire ont.
and now I've got corner on brm-
stone"
one of il chubby class of four-year-
old sunday school scholars, when talk
ed to by his teacher about the sins and
tralltie> of the body. was asked, ''Wcll
my son. what have You besides this
sinful body ," Quick as thought the
little fellow responded. "A clean shirt
and Il ME new pair of hreechcS.'
\ man in Youngstown. Ohio. bet $40
one bitter cold day last week that he
could walk to Warren. He spoiled Il
80 suit of clothes, il $ll pair of boots.
paid IL doctor $40 to thaw ont his ears.
and was arrested ut Warren as Il suIs-
picious character and locked up two
days i'll jail. He won his bet.
WHAT HE KNEW ABOUT THRE>HING.
The Titusville Press gives IN account
of Il Young man from an Eastern city
VIII" had been visiting rural friends in
that vicinity. After seeing il farmer
out IL Flooring" of oats the 9th
CT morning, he asked and received
permission to swing the fail few
minutes. upon assuring the agriculture
list that he WAS ''pcrtcctlv familiar with
the art of threshing." Expectorating
upon his hands. the Young man went at
the oats, but at the first pass knocked
the horn off Il new milch COW that was
Ieisurely chewing her cud in Il neigh
boring stall. The second swing cavcd
i'll the head of the farmer. who thought
he WAS safe enough It's long It's he rooSt-
ed on the top of the tanning mill in the
other end of the barn. but without dis
covering the havoc he was making. the
city artist kept at his labors the third
blow fell upon the oats, the fourth kill
Ell Il hen III Il manager near by, and the
fifth pass of the deadly weapon WAS the
best of all, for 1t came around behind
the young man boomerang fashion. and
taking him under the lower Jaw, knock
ed HIM down, and thus put Il stop to
the work of slaughter. The mere fact
that the city "threshrr" returned to
an hour before the farmer
did allowed the former to get several
miles out of town before his efforts of
thrcShing oats were discovered by his
neighhors.
B"UNp To TRADE.-A Stockbridge
merchant tells with great relish the fol-
lowing story: He went to New York
on business some time ago, and hap
pened to step into Il Catham street Jew
store. where he inquired the price of Il
linen coat. Dat ish six dollars" was
the reply of the descendant of Abra-
ham. Too high" said he. and turned
away. SAY. miShtcr, hold on, Won
may have II for five dollars" well"
said the Berkshire man. There are
four or five of lis stopping at hotel
near here, and we all want coats where
we can get them cheapest" There
upon the price was given as four and
then three dollars. Finally. not par
ticularly wanting the coat. the mer-
chant offered seventy-five cents for it.
Take II along. said the jew. and the
St"rkhridge man went away rejoicing.
The COOLEST ROBBERY on RECoRD.-
Policeman Badger. of the Tenth Station.
had Il hlt of experience the other night
which he is not fond of talking about.
1t was past midnight as he was leisurcIv
pushing his way through JeSSup street.
and he came opposite to Drayton 4 Fogr's
lrwelIy store he observed CLEANS of
light through the cInks of the shutters
and he raped at the door.
Is that you policeman asked n voice
within.
Yes. answered Badger.
Well. its only me. Its all right
Kind o'chilly. isn't it
Yes.
Thought 50. was just fixing the
fire. Goud-night.
Badger said goodnight. and pursued
his way.
An hour afterward Badger passed
down JcSsup street again, and saw the
light III the .iewelry store. Itdidn't look
night and he banged the door loudly.
Halo! cried the voice within. is it
You. policeman
Yes.
All right. Won't you come in and
warm y"u 1t won't hurt anything for
You t" slip from your beat a minute.
lie door was opened and Policeman