New-York tribune., 1873-09-06
JOHN PAUL AT SARATOGA.
A DINNER AT MOONS.


BAss-rHE DINNER AND THE scoIE-A CHILD
GENIUS.
fYRoM AN OCCASIONAL CORRESPONDENT oP rHE rRIBuN"l
SARATOGA, Aug. 29.-The following commu-
nicatlon dated at the Grand Union Hotel was handeu
me some two by third party lcoloredl "no
refused to give up his principal. Endeavorne in 81
things 10 govern my conduct by regular DewspsPef
rules never notice anonymous communications unless
they are signed with the authors real name and sddre,
not for publication necessarily, but a. guarantee Vi
good faith. Nor do undertake 70 return rejected con"
trbutions except when they come accompanied oy tue
requisite number Of postage stamps. This condition
complied WITH however, the correspondent may ren on
receiving his MS by express, c. o. D., well as on my
keeping the stamps But this is the note referred to
MY DEAR Mr. PAUL; As correspondent OF n, TIE
TRIBUNE, wish you would expose trick on tne p %
OF the proprietors OF this house which has been te
OF my wife well as myself nearly starving W
DEATH There Is in the second story nail large mlfo
into which every coming down the nall ID oogeu
look. On our first walk toward our room my wle d % a
were astOnished at magnificent proportions Ianu "
little annoyed that We had grown so large IN so sbols
me We, knowing that TOO mneh Iat was nIs sone IL
till reduced 70 mere skeletons To our lnbsns ht
modification, after six weeks OF sacrlce we nd ' %
we were all right as we we're before, and that our IN
mense proportions produced by Breslins giass.
Upon mentioning the matter 70 our friends we nnd l
others have been victims 10 the same delusion uusV
you will expose this matter and have the Obleet0naoIe
glass removed. II you have any doubt about the lse1 1
arm toward the said glass and You do not conclude
that she has either grown very short or EeIs
broad and that not the graceful man you hiNe
Yours very truly,
A HUNGRY, HALFSTARyED VICTIM
Aside from its anonymity this document received no
attention for other First, never look ID d
glass If it can avoided for fear OF breaking IT, sew
cracked beyond the possibility Of repair Wheh
only my back was turned toward them. second. l
4bo, tho NJ fha
aected upon. so 1 pocketed the criticism and had no
sense OF lts appositeness until this morning when,
walking down the hall, raised my eyes accidentally
and wondered what horrid lopsded msshapen monster
was making for me with huge club in his hand he
sistng the first impulse run, walked resOutey on
and finally found myself face 70 face with handsome
digniiedlooking gentleman in whose finely chseied
features / recognized my own hneaments. Ana the
huge cudge resolved Itself into switchcane This was
ease in which distance did not lend enchantment, &C.
Considering that this mirror not designed for trick
one the effect startling The phrase Crcean glass
is not unfamiliar me, but had idea before that
single glass. even Of tangle-oot whisky, could thus
transform man into monster, and if this exposure
does not bring about its removal III steal out INTO he
hall some dark night and fire Jimmy Sutherss boots at
IT, II they don't fetch IT, nothing convinced
that the glass intended persuade guests that tney
are too well fed and induce them TO diet down.
over the beauties Of Saratoga Lake have fingered
and poetzed previously. But do not remember 20
have before expatiaed either breakfast or dinner
at Moons. II have, please prevent a repetition by
udicous use Of the editorial pen for things can
not and should be attempted twice. Considering
what luxury meal Moons is, it is 10 be regretted
that it be indulged in but once in lifetime yet
such s the fact He takes all you got the first time
just five years ago. IL memory serves rightly, dined
there More than this I paid for the dinner. II is
perhaps unnecessary 70 state that penury has
been my portion ever Economy, which
is no the offspring OF necessity than the parent Of
wealth, has pulled up ittle but have never sue
ceeded in accumnlating sufficient to justify dining
there again Friends, wealthy and unsOphisticated
friends, occasionally invite to drive out and dine,
but always respond by asking the exact amount OF
their personal property. After getting at this, move
that we divide this manifestly better than
giving it all Moon But the sther day I yielded
against my better judgment. IF any afford 10
dine at Moons II should be those who cover nickel
spoons forks &C. with thin coating OF silver and get
solid silver price Tor them, especially If they have
their own carriage and horses here ana not let in
for the original cost OF equpage 10 get out there
This precisely how my friends were fixed. But the
dinner at Moons changed all that Wilcox has retrenched
on his team. changed them for cheaper pair Friends
may not notice the difference. hut It exists formerly
he drove pair OF soeback horses, but now he rides
behind a pair OF black slow ones. And Charley Parker
found himself reduced in ready money that he has
been obliged 20 board at the Mansion House
We had good dinner though and were allowed 60 20
down to the pond aud catch own fish. IL Is nice
pond pebbied and weeded like natural One and black
bass varying in weight from 20 pounds, swim
round in it cOntented ana happy claims at high water
Before catching fish thought IL best 70 select
fat Of the party went up 10 Moons ~ get
something call them to the top OF the with. He
returned with paper Of fried pOtatoes-the cheap
est thing be could get.-and we threw them
in. A fine young bass came up 10 inquire
the price, but immediately retired below re-
marking in a deep bass voice that he couldn't
afford anything from Moons. Spying big fellow ylng
in the shade plank that is stretched the water,
70 tempt visitors walk and fail in, and furnish
cheap food for the fish, determined dropa line and
If possible, persuade him 20 join at dinner In
response he opened and shut his mouth slowly
twice. His sounds did get up TO but guessed
he was asking, Where - So as the old moon re-
Aected in the pointed at her yellow disk. He
bit al our meaning OnceI mean he caught the rehec-
ton without further calculation. And he again began
making at us those slow, solemn mouths in which
you We seen fishes ndulge-oide gold fish in glass
globe brook trout IN aquarium. Dr. Holland ;
beautiful lines-where a child is supposed be lost in
abstract contemplation Of a prattling parent-came
vividly TO my mind:
What is the sardine talking about
Very wonderful tins, no doubt.
But my manufacturing friends from Meriden. who,
among other things, make fsh-spOonsI mean spoons
for trolling, supplying fish with plate which IL in
strumenta In landing them eyentnally-had lit
tie trouble in understanding this unspoken and only
suggested language. According TO their Interpretation
our big Bass remarked that he had engagement TO
sing tenor the first time at small fish supper that
evening and thought 10 about time 10 be taking his
place Besides he could think OF joining party
If we going to dine at Moons. Such invitations
had fallen in his way before, but he always steered
clear OF them he knew wnat expected As for
frn hing the dinner to that he had particular OBJ
lection and being eaten up destiny which he con-
templatad in cheerful spirit rather than otherwise,