South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-10-03

lug sOuiSDvHy Ctso TOT IT.
Es-A CERTAIN editor 10 speaking Of The
miseries of ireland, says, Ire'ands cup Of
misery has been for 0ges oyerfowiDg, and
seems to be not get .f,1n
An HONEST DARREY.--Jack, where have
you been to-day said gentleman to his
servant ] bio to Meiods rreachin' sar,
replied Jack. Well, whn, did The preach
or say p 'He lied, marsar How dare
you say preacher lies {? Why, marser,
he did lie lie said you oau't serve two
marsers dats one lie, Tor does serve you
aud young marser And DC preacher say
you viii, love cue and bate de other that
another lie, for the Lord Knows hate 90
bolc.'
~ "A Oxford, some twenty years go,
a tutor of Que Of IT, cy,Iso .,-godln bis
walk Stopptog one day las, SUNNI. At
railway station, he was accc,.cl BY acll-
known politician, who r,s, gnizel lim and
asked him il be was net the chaplain If ----
Co!lego at such time, Douing the eaI
The docto, replied that DO uos. Il was
there, said tbs iaicrogatoE and A,ew JON
by your limp We'll said the doctor.
lit seems my Amgius md greater ul,
PRESTON than my Proac!iog' AN doe
tor was the reply al.h r.a5y vii, it is
the highest con1p.;n ut we cau pay min.
lister to say that he i ku?rn ~ ii. wax
better THAI BY his cong,rsaGon-'
AE' AN Illustration Of Irish simplicily
i5aTlrded by the reply Of clnIidela for
the Office Of teacher The czamiuor was
cndoavoriug to elicit the cgn!jdaio' e idea OF
;ho market y.lls oflabor with reference to
dcmnad and supply out, being bsfilel, he
put 4 question il tAia simple form; Ift
there are ia your village two shoemaLcr-
with jus. sufficient employment, to enable
them to live tolcraby, and no moro, What
would be Tho conacqucnce il third Shoe
maker set up in the same yilags? What
would DO the consequence, sir !! echoed the
candidatoj why, fight, to be sure.
EEIHE lady aho tapped her husband
gently with fan at party tue other
night, and said, 'hoye, It's growing late
think We had better 90 home, is the
same one who after getting home shook
the rolling piu uuder his nose and said,
you Internal oI1 scoundrel you, if you ever
look at that mean, nasty, cal.co-hced, mack
crcloyod thing that you looked at tonight,
Il burst your head wide open
GVTuE Omaha Bee thinks tho hes.
washing machine It ever saw used to cost
$500 before the war twas manufactured
by Ham & Co. anl was always painted
black. Daring ;ho late unploasau,uess by .
some means it was knocked clear out Of the
kitchen into The pirlor, where it has been
sitting ever since, bottom upwards SO to
peak, perfectly useless
aG5'A NEWLY. MARRIED couple found .
themselves in q railway carriage with only
re fellow passenger who appeared to sleep
profoundly Soon tue lady commenced to
call her young husband al the endeoriog
names that natural history can supply
The traveller, reused up begged d, lady TO
call her partner 'Noah's Ark a, once,
and allow him to sleep quietly
GA FARMERS wife in speaking Of the
smartnoss Of her son, led siz years DID,
said lie can read luou'ly, repeat the
whole catochism aud weed cuions, as well
as bic father Yes, mother, added The
young hopeful, and yesterday licked New
iawson, throwed tn, cat in the well, aud
stoIo old Hicklcy's gimlct'
WrrrY.--A proud pars9p and hi. man
were once riding over common aaI slw Is
.bcphcrd tending his d.cG having q new
coat on, the parson asked him, 10 O Laugb-
ty, arrogant tone, who gayo him bat cost
The same, said the ahepb-rl, lba, cloth
c1 you-tho parish
The parsoa, nottlel d. ,u.sg .',,ryls 5u,
murmuriog O ii.ls vay aal .b.u DO bad.
flo man 70 bass and a .L. s..r..rl i.'
Boo would like 90 come aud live With Bin.
..r he wanted fool
THE man accordingly g ing % .ho a.p
herd. delivered Iif r...t.rfa ral 5000 and