Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1873-03-26
THE CHRONICLE.
The coming mana waiter.

a man that ought to be remembered
"A o~ne-legged soldier.
It is reported OF a Joker that he ha:
worn out one OF his sleeves-laughing
in it so often.
Defrauding revenue collectors are
impaled on stakes in Tunis. Here
they usually walk of with the stakes.
SIS dem bells ringin' for Ere, Tiberi.
US? " mo, sir! Dey got plenty o.
fire: dem bellsis ringin' for water"
Bulwer Lytton is credited with the
remark that there i, something in
Spirituzlism, but nothing to benefit
mankind"
"Well, but you're not the boy 1 left
my horse with" "No, sir: I lust
speekilated and bought 'in offt'other
boy for six cents.n
A seaport paper tells of a skipper
who thinks it curious that such a lit
tie thing as his barometer should in
iuence the weather"
A lady, who was not q Shakespeare
an scholar, heAringthe merry Wives
of Windsor" highly praised, inquired
how hIany wives Mr.. Windsor had,
Happy is the country that has no
history, as the sehoOlb0y said on be
ing lOgged the third time for not
knowing who was Henry VI's. wife.
You ought 10 hy up something for
q rainy day, said an anxious father to
his prOfigate on. And so | have, re-
piled the youth What? An UNI.
brella. ~
An innocent female justice in
Wyoming a~nxiOusly inquired of a
lawyer the other day: WHO is this
Highlow Jack that ] hear so much
abOut?i
A milliner at Defiance. o., walked
into church one Sunday recently and
rawhided a business man who had
slandered her. The minister halted
until the affair was over. W
The Ohio Legislature has adopted
a resolution condemnatory of the act
of Congress voting back payand future
additional compensation into the pock-
cts Of Congnessmen.
A German in B uffalo fell into q beer
vat the other day. and was drowned.
drank as hard as he could to save
himself, and would have succeeded
had not a floating cork ehoked him.
The PottsviIle Miners Journal
states that 20 miners. have ben killed
and 1892 MANNED in the anthracite
coal region, since the Inspection laws
were IN force, aperiod extending from
1859 TO 1872.
Marx Twain. in speaking of csnni-
balism, grows serious for once. and
solemnly declares that, for his own
part, he would rsther go hungry for
days than eat an old personal
frie nd"
On last Saturday night the town Of
EIyria, Ohio, had its principal bust
ness district burned. A block of ten
stores was destroyed, Involving a loss
of shout 5000, 900, on which there is
insurance of 500, 600.
Holy war is better than unholy
peace; but in order TO il, there must
be q holy object, q holy motive, q ho-
ly rule, hol, actions, and q holy end:
alas! how seldom are these found to-
gether!
The Ourch,ndn sympathizes some
what with the exclamation Of the man
who, reading the large heading of q
newspaper column, "Wife killed by
her husband,H exclaimed, Pm so
glad I've been tired TO death with
these eternal husband poisonings.o
The great high.road of human vel
fare lies along the old high-rOad OF
steadfast welI-dOIng; and they who
are the most persistent, and work in
the traest spirit, will invariably be
the most successful; success treads on
the heels OF every right effort.-SmiIes
A sewing-circle was quickly broken
up at Gardiner, Me-, the other day by
the innocent remark of lady present
II always had a great desire to
know how a case of smallpox looked,
so 1 called on 8 sick lady this after
just before coming To the circle"
Bishop Charles p. McIlyaine of the
church, uied quite recently
in Florence, Italy, in the seventy
sixth year OF his age. He was highly
Ieverenced as a man of learning and
piety, and his death is sincerely la
mented by thousands.
, At EWanderbas, in Norway, the-l-
days last from the 21st of May 10 the
End of July-the sun nut getting be.
low the horizon for the whole of the
time, but skirmisbing along very
49, - IL In Nha wO-Nh A. GafNwkUva
gen the longest day lasts three months
Rnd a half.
The mariners compass was invent
ed by q Chinaman, four thousand
year, age. The Chinese called it a
needle pointing to the south, because
il was the height Of disloyaIty to say
pointing to the north, which place
was wOrshipped by the Chinese as the
dwelling place of their ruler.
The faithful service of conductors
the Boston and Providence Raj
road is rewarded with stripes. For
the first five years a conductor gets
81, 900 8 year and one stripe on his
For every additional five
years 500 is added to the salary and
another stripe to the sleeve.
In one of the suburban schools q
inspector gave out the word
'psalter" to q class for spelling. It
was a poser to all till il reached the
foot of the Glass, when q curly-headed
little fellow spelled it correctly, but,
being asked TO define it, he shouted
out, more salt"
A gentleman whose house was un-
der repair, vert one day to see how
the job was getting on, aud observing
= quantity of nails lying about, said 4
to a carpenter. why don't you take
care Of those nails?- they'll certainly
be lost" "Eo," replied the carpen-
ter, you'll End them all In the bill"
A Name man has succeeded In max
ing a very fair artificial oyster out OF
-four paste. tapiOca, salt and water
The inventor places these in second
hand oyster shells, which are CAREFUL :
" glued around the edges, aud when
! half-intoxicated customer calls for
"a a dozen raw on the haiEshell," he
gets them fresh from the shop.