The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-06-13
A panburv Mans Adventure.

| A Danbury man started for Greenwich,
| Friday, TO see an iron fence. What no
wanted to see an iron fence for we don't
know, and il really makes no difference.
He went. He wanted to 20 of on tho
$50 train, so he hurried home 90 get
ready. His wife and vicious outside
woman were cleaning house, and il was
some little time before he could get his
society suit ready. In the meantime ho
opened fire on the largest half of q GUS
tard pie, holding it in his hand, and
dancing around and yelling for his
| things. When she brought his oycrcoat,
he set tho pie in a chair, TO put on the
! coat, but in his nervousness stepped ON
the end of n long-handled whitownsh
brush which was balanced across a pail,
and the other end flew up and discharg-
ed about pint Of the awful mixture
over the sofa, wallpaper, and his pant
| ing and indignant wife. She made n re-
mark, and he contradicted it. Then ho
sat down in the chair where the pie was,
and got up with howl that would have
melted the stoutest heart. She wanted
him TO wait while she scraped or tho
surplus, but he was too mad 10 converse
in words of more than one syllable. and
started for the depot, and boarded the
train, and in the seclusion Of the bag
gage-car removed the offensive lunch.
He got TO Greenwich all right, and
looked at the fence. We hope he adj
mired it. Then he started for home but
missed the train, and as the next was an
express and didn't stop at Greenwich,
he was obliged TO walk TO the draw
bridge at Cos Cob or stay in Greenwich
all night. So he walked mp there in the
4 Iv,fN I., ltnI
an umbrella and the pie was pretty well
dried in. When he got 20 Cos Cob no
stood up on fence 30 look at the scene
nv, and swear, when n sharp gust Of
wind took off his hat and carried 10
aeross hog lot. Then he stepped down
on the other side, too amazed 60 express
himself and another gust Of wind came
along and turned the umbrella inside
out. A brief conversation here cnsued
between himself and the umbrella,
which he still held, and he again started
for the hat. When he got to IL he kick
ed it around several times and then jam
med it down on his head, and started
once more through the bogs as the train
drew up at the bridge. It was a terri
BILE struggle, as the bogs were uncertain,
but he strained and coughed and spit
and howled and swore, and it did seem
as if he would catch il after al. What
he thought as he stood on that fence
and watched the train sail across tho
bridge, no human being can tell.
An hour later ho appeared in Stam-
ford, wet through 20 the skin, splashed
with mud, and with an expression on his
face that would have scared a hydrant.
Backing himself agninst the depot ho
stood there until near midnight, aud
then went up on the owl train 10 Nor
walk, falling asleep in the mean time,
and narrowly escaping being carried by
the depot. Here he took the freight for
Danbury, arriving at home just before
daylight. His wife was abed but not
sleeping. She lay there torn by fore
bodings and harrassed by suspense.
Perhaps he was dead and lying on the
cold ground in the rain. Then
she thought Of his lifeless body, and
groaned and thought Of the pie and
groaned again. She knew his knock
the moment it sounded, and rushing
downstairs in the costume appropriate
to that hour, she threw herself into his
hair and hysterically shouted, ooh, you
old rascal, come in here. ."-DaHbUry
Mems