The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-09-20
NUMBER 4s.
BY ELI PERKINS.


A voics-''But how can you tell 'shod-
dy' people, Mr. Perkins 7"
This way, my friends When a strange
family arrives at our hotel you must watch
them closely. Divinity puts up certain
infallibie signs to distinguish the ignorant
and vulgar from the children Of culture
i. II the Il. eomss into the parlor with
diamond on the outside Of her
glove, it is sal ask her how much she
gets week. w, hear p and several
ladies put their MIhds under their paniers.
2. If Providence erscts . dyed NOUS
tache over the mouth Of the man, it il to
show that he is . gambler or a vulgarian.
[Cheers, when two Americas Club men, a
gambler, or four Plug- Uglies from
Baltimors, put their hands over their
moustaehss.
5. n, when that new family enter or
leave room, the gentlemen rush ahead,
leaving the ladies TO follow, there ID some
lthinM saahmadvaanN1WRhere1 ss.zls
A. II the man presents The ladies to The
gentlemen, instead Of vice versa, and they
all shake hands on first presentation, then
you may know they hail from Oil City.
~. IL WnCn bnCJ NJ AAAOO iiC1 hD
nothing but loudly order the walters
around, and talk about the wine, you can
make up your mind that they are the first
walters they ever had and the only vine
they ever drank. If they pick their teeth
at the table, or take out their false teeth
and rinse them in the tumbler, a voice,
"Shoot 'em on the spot" yes, my friends,
say that to their teeth.
6. Ii, when the gentleman sits in the
parlor talking to lady, he doesn't sit up
straight, but sprawls all over the sofa, puts
the soles Of his boots on the lady's dress,
on the furniture, or wipes his shoes on his
own white linen pantaloons, you'd better
refuse an introduction to him. Applause,
when eight young fellows who sat with
their legs radisting like the wings Of
windmill, or sprawling one foot cross
legged in the empty air, whlrled them
selves right side up.
z. If the ladies in that party white wash
their faces, redden their lips, black their
brows, or bronze or yellow their hair, Just
you think this is another sign which Provi-
dence puts up 50 you can shun them. En-
amsl and dyed hair are social beacon lights
to enable you to keep of the rocks Of Cy
pria. just you keep away from such peo-
pie, for they are wolves in sheep clothing
Voice from young lady But We want
to look beautiful, Mr.. Perkins.
But this will not make you beautiful, my
children. Any sweetheart Who is 50 shall
low as to take white-wash for the human
skin, OF rouge for the rose chee rs Of nature,
Is too much Of a sap-head To make good
husband and if he is smart enough to see
through your deception, why he viii sure
ly leave you in disgust. Applause by the
gentlemen, while several ladies wiped their
faces with their handkerchief
8. If, when this family gets into their
carriage to ride to the lake, the young la
dies appear in gaudy colors, throw over
their laps bright yellow and red or blue
afghan, and the coachman wears gold
hat-band and sprawltailed yellow livery,
with velvet collar, and holds brass-be-
spangled horses by white reins you may
know that the owner keeps a livery stable,
md that this is his first carriage Voice
Hit EN- again, Eh."l No, my friends,
I've said out