The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-05-23
Open Letters TO the wcrla... Postage One
cSnt---some Dismal Jokes.

Il.
The postman comes to the door with an
armiul OF postal cards. The andlady re-
leves him Of the burden goes in and sits
down and begins to sort them over for the
various bOarders. Presently she strikes
one which reads thus
NJ DEAR TmopH Come tonight al haIi.past
ten side gate open Bulldog chained up In The
ha'emSnL iAgh, IL the window for you.
Landlady turns to the other side of the
card, She reads the superscription
Mr. TuEoPmLUs MUFFLEcHEEK,
No, 1888 Hash Avenue
city
Landlady rests her cheek on her left
hand and muses. passim IIandlady solus:
Well now, did | ever? Who'd a thought
that Mr., Muflecheek was that kind
OF man. Came here, too, with the
highest references from his last place
Pays his board regularly every Saturday
q tea. Belongs TO our church, too
lkeads again. Half past ten-dear me,
and always thought he went 10 bed regu-
larry at half past nine Bulldog chained
keep little watch of Mr. Mufieeheek
III expose him before the church.
Then she draws "A long sigh and proceeds
with another card
Reads
ST Iout- May r.
SIN have now waited four weeks Tor the bal
Mu.t hayt h monday Yoa ns'u 'n' money
NMnLENgEDLE
Turns to the superscription and reads
Mr.. JERoME u. sUSFLowER
No. 1870 Hash avenue
We'll il ever heard the ike in my
HE Mr.. Sunhower is such a nice gen
tleman And he uses such elegant per
tumery. Let me see he owes for two
weeks board. Told me this morning he
was expecting a check FROM home. | must
60 10 his room and see how much baggage
he has. Dear me, folks are so unaccount.
able.
Comes To another Reads
MY DEAR srRGGiNs Just deposited four hum.
dred ~ YOUR credit iu the twelfth National
Ora" 'n 90, az sight Tor the balance
Turns n the supnrscription, aud reads /.
j DgLAFIELp SrHigerNs. Esq
No. l3F7j Hash Ave,
Gracious me- How much like Mr. /.
Sprlggins own handwriting that is Sin .
gular that two persons should write So
near alike, Let me see Mr.. Spriggin, /
told me he expected some money to-day .
Enter Spriggins Good afternoon. .
madam
Lqndlady Here is a postal card for
you
sprig "Oh yes. Reads 10 him.
self That's all right. By.the-way
madam have you money enough in the
house to cash a fifty-dollar check. Its |
alter banking hours, and / have Just re.
celyed telegram from Kansas City, and 1
must gn on the night train.
Laudlady I'll ~ right away and look /
IN my bureau drawer / reckon | can nc.
commodate you landlady returns with
a roll Of bills
sprig Here, III just include that
three weeks board in the check and make
u scyenty.tve. Balance will be fifty.
LandlAdy counts out fifty which Sprig.
thrusts into his vest pocket, goes up stairs,
get, his yalse aud starts 10 catch the train
Tor Kansas City Landlady will discover
Tomorrow that the similarity between Mr.
Sprggins handwriting aud that ON the
postal card isn't such singular cirrum.
stance after all
IL only cost Spriggins one cent h. raise
the wind. These postal cards are an in
calculable convenience ~ the toilinp
masses.
A VARIATION. II
Postman rings at a modest looking man.
SION on Locust street Servant girl comes
u the door. Postal card for the master of
the house who has been married couple |
OF years. Servant girl delivers the postal
card 10 young wife Young wifeIreads.
st LOUIS May H.
DrAR JoE VIII be ct corner Twelfth and Pine.
mack half past nine Firstclass party Of boys BE-
on hand. Hall past mine, sharp Wake EN- ip.
OK
Young wife lays down the postal card
and elevates her eyebrows. Mr. Cress- 4
well s cheap method of diffusing intelli-
gence has let a food Of light in upon her p
mind '0
Young wife, soiys, 80 this is the club g
Is IT. Riding around town in hacks an
night with party Of frst-cass bows. Oh
dear, oh dear ~ Then she weeps copious
" and signs deeply She will 20 home to
her mother the very next day. She never
was 50 wronged and outraged in her whole :
lIfel Weeps again passionately and seeks :
the camphor-bottle. Young husband. ali
unconscious. comes home to supper Tab
Ieau Il
ANOTHER. d
POstman ambles up the front steps of an g
imposing mansion at No. - place. 81
s0lored boy opens the door and receives "
postal card addressed to the dignified el- f.,
ierly gentleman, who owns the premises n,
lnd pretty much all the other premises in al
hat vicinity. Elderly wife sees the postal y,
ard She has never seen one before m
she takes II from the colored boy and Of
leads. 50 80
NJ ST. LOUIS May IS r.
~, w Please bring home my robe de nut ne
ga take away that horrid man. night shirt Won err
" MARY c.. ! mi
AT tins Juncture the elderly lady makes o.
rigorous preparations to swOon, and calls co
or her maid TO bring her fan and the co
melting bottle. ''' WV d.
Elderly lady TO waiting maid Mary wi
ane can You read?' an
''Yes'm.' I1
Read what it says on that card. | III
an believe my eyes 80 20
Mary Jane reads. in
Elder lady goes off in dead swoon muir RI
iurlng incoherently about divorces and al b,
nony ga
YET ANOTHER. r ra
The urbane postman halts in front Of "a
retentious looking three story edifce, No ba
N--n avenue. The head of the an
lmily brushes past him and starts up the co
Dtps. PostmaH hands him package of GU
Ie'ers and postal cards Head of the fam.
y glances at them and sees one addressed
,esJ js we OF his bosom. Turns itover and
~ d. - ica
NJ corner R meet me at half past seyen his even
and kcrcbief ~ aud Olive street, Will dron SCI
mai Wear heavy veil a.,
'our- u death, B.BB n
husband brushes postal card IN HE val
'lenched hand "HaTi bo .'i Ill II ms sta
thiS Is the way Of it, is ~ III ."I o.
lahu 10 TINS business myself" Tben he r
goes INTO the house and resurrects he ~
shooter and loads it, and puts fresh cans I PS'
~ H. and at the appointed time NAV bs
seeh slowly pacing up and down near ,be "a III
S ! OF Eighth and Olive, WATCHING m,t mi
''r some fellow to drop a handkerShisf an