Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-09-01
A Married Man Tries to Carry Two
Wash-tubs, q Wash.bOard, and q
Wast-stand at Once

There is an important difference in Monday
among those families who do their own wash
ing ing. Inc way OF observing it is very similar.
The first thing is to get the man up a hour
earlier than usual to get down the boiler. We
don't understand why boiler is kept on the
shelf where nobody but himself can reach it,
But perhaps 1t is not intended we should under
stand 1t. Having got down the boiler and taken
his place at the table, and pronounced grace
with a benevolent aspect, he is called into the
kltchen again to hit the boiler on the stove.
he finds 1t full of water and weighing about
three-quarters of ton, but he sinks his teeth
into his lips, lays his eyes out on his cheeks and
accomplishes the task. After breakfast which is
eaten hastily, and from table that is garnish-
&C. with bar of soap, a package of starch and
Dluelng bag, he is sent down cellar after the
tubs, washboard, bench, etc. He puts both
TUBS together and the washbOard inside, with
view to avoid coming down stairs again al
though he has been years giving practical
demonstration that those things can't be car
red at one time. But he grasps the inside of
the tubs with one arm and takes the wash
bench in the other, and starts for the stairs
No one who has not tried it can begin to UNDER
stand the amount of circumspection required to
engineer Wash-tub and wash-bench up the
same stairway at the same time. He knows it,
but there is an undying hope in his breast that
there is way to accomplish it and he starts.
BEFORE reaching the stairs the tubs slide around
and the board slips out. He thinks at first that
he viii put his heel on it and split it in two but
changes his mind, sets down the things, and re-
places the board. Then he starts again, and
when he has got as far up the stairway as he
can without proceeding sideways, he turns the
tubs to the front, but as his hold on them has
been gradually yielding all the while, he finds
they are SO low they strike the stair, and in an
effort to raise them the bench gives, and to save
that he loses in part his hold on the tubs, and
before he can recover it the board slips out and
goes back into the cellar. two steps at a Jump.
He turns round and looks over the tubs down at
the board, which he eyes with an intensity there
appears to be no call for, and again attempts
the ascent. He gets the bench started ahead
but the end catches in the top step. and having
exhausted his endurance and reach in getting IL
that far, fnds himself completely poweriess to
lift it over the obstruction. 1t has grown very
warm in the last minute, and his breath comes
very short and quick, and it seems as if the
arm which holds the tubs will soon drop off az
the shoulder and leave him cripple for life,
and at this luncture the tub loosens aud com
mences to slip and threaten trouble. He presses
his arm all the tighter to the inside tub, and
tries to get his knee up against the outside one,
and then 1t is over. The outside tub is down
with the wash-board, having accomplished the
trip with a noise that Is almost deafenng. The
other tub follows at once, being urged thereto
by kick that nearly throws him from his feet
and then getting the door open he shoyes the
bench into the kitchen and clear across the
room, to the apparent jeopardy of the legs OF
the entire family. After that he gets up the
other thlngs-making no remarks to anybody,
put looking around on every one in manner
calculated to reflect the greatest amount of dis
credit. Then he puts on his coat, rubs his arms
and starts down the street, and gets out on the
walk, when he is called back to bring up some
wood. If that wood was in the shape of a
burial casket it is extremely doubtful if he
could have looked more solemn in taking 1t up
STAIRS. A. noon re comes home to dinner and
finds only one leaf up, the table-cloth in the
wash, and that his wife has cut the bread after
cutting the soap. What comments he contem-
plates making on this state Of affairs are never
made. he Is sent out In the yard armed with q
clothes line, and an injunction to not drop it in
the dirt, and in the secluson of the space devot-
ed to the back yard he vents the spleen that has
been gathering within him, and whips that
clothes-line around with sardonic JOY. After
that he comes in with his teeth together, and
lifts two tubs full of water to the floor, and then
dry pants, and grimly eats his dinner. It NAV
occur to him that there Is no difference in this
Monday from any that has preceded it, but he
can't help but wonder what kind of misery that
is which comes up every time SO fresh and for
midable as to appear entirely new.-Dan6ary