Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-10
PROM!SCUANA.

~ ~ "a
The time gun at Edinburg, Scotland,
can be heard 81 miles from that city.
The Fall City Tobacco Bank, of
Louisville, was robbed of $350,O0O re-
Gently. .-..
To set our foot in the way of good is
often not 80 difficult as to go vigorous
ly forward in it.
Bob Anderson claims to be king of
the highway in Colorado, an has rob
bed thirteen coaches to prove 1t.
An old lady described genius as "a
man what knows more'n he can find
out, and spills vittels on his clothes
A young man who recently took a
wife unto himself says he didn't find it
half so hard to get married as he
did to get the furniture.
Cakes Ames, the Mobilier, and Col
fax, the Mobi-liar, have each had re-
ceptions at home, at which times they
attempted to explain things.
"Floating down the sea of matrimo.
ny by the light of the honeymoon" is
the way city editor touchingly alludes
to the marriage of his son.
If woman tells more than the
truth in speaking of a rivals. age, she
will probably make the thing even by
undertaking her own.
A fashionable Chicago girl is champ
ion of buttoned gloves. She has sixty
three buttons on each glove, the top
one fastening around the neck.
All the hopes of wicked shall not
bring him to heaven; all the fears OF
the righteous shall not drive him to
hell
A Bostonian has had his eyes 'some-
what injured" according to local re-
porter, through being run into by a
railway train.
A Western paper informs the public
that board for the summer can be OBJ
tanned ''at large and shady brick gen
tlemah's residence"
A young gent was singing ''Why
am | SO weak and weary" when his lit
tie sister responded: because you
came home late and was not sober last
night" He forgot the rest Of the song.
How pleasant is lovely thing a
little out of season-a rosebud in win
ter, for an instance, or kiss in church
when the deacons eyes are closed! Sto-
en- apples don't begin to compare it.
A young lady of St. Louis has just
sent to Europe an order for fifty yards
Of Brussels carpet, twenty feet vide
She is going to work pair of slippers
for the editor Of a localpaper.
Matches are now split by the most
approved machine at the rate of 10000
a minute. An exchange thinks this
will be gratifying news to spersons
about applying for divorce.
What is the difference between a
gold-board bulletin and bottle of hair
dye? One contains the day rate of
gold, and the other the night rate of
silver (nitrate OF silver.)
A Georgia woman is credited with
raising large family, although not out
Of her teens 1t was her mother-in-
laws family, and she did it with key
of gunpowder planted in the cellar. <
A Kentucky paper contains a re-
port of recent wedding, in which
''the bride was not particularly hand
some, but her father threw in seven
mules, and the husband was satisfied"
Somebody has calculated the rain
fall last year in England amounted so,
100000 tons. Glad it was an even
number; it looks SO much better in
type. --a>
A young man found, the other day,
by actual measurement, that he couldn't
contain himself What became of the
overplus we did not learn.
A Georgia man has bet forty dollars
that he can eat seven pounds of beef at
one meal. A $40 coffin would be beef
itting vehicle for his conveyance home
in case he succeeds.
Jimmy, do you. 60 to school?'
eyes, sir, to the school kept by Miss
Post" 'sAliss Post! not whipping
post. I hope ?" 20, no, she is guide
post"
There are sufficient numbers of Amer
lean citizens. going out as special and
honary commissioners to the Vienna
Exposition to constitute quite respec-
table exposition in their OWN country,
if they would only stay at home.
A few weeks since, lecturer at one
of the chemical schools attached to the
University of Dublin, asked one of the
students if he could plate steel "Mo,"
replied the witty colegian, 'but Lean
steal plate"
'Boohoo!' blubbers Walter, II did
not want to go swimmin' with EN-,
ma only wanted to 60 down and see
the bad little boys get drowned for