, 1873-04-06
HuMOR,

<. HumOR.
What grows bigger the more you contract it?
Debt. e., -
: Because So ca. stands for South Carolina It
! doesn't follow that the inhabitants ara all old
socas (eoakers)." ~ :: -.''
| An epicurean has discovered that the pleas.
| ATTEST way to: take cod-liver oil is to fatte1
] pig cons with it, and then est the. pigeons.
"A prudent clergyman, unwilling to accuse
citizen oi l5inS s.'d he used the truth With
The evils Of .;hairpin' on nv daughter" ara
illustrated by the Boston girl who fell down and
drove one half an inch into her skuu the other
day.
a Frcnch doctor has announced tie dscov-
cry Of q safeguard against hydfophobia. It's .
A Tennessee exchange impertiaently s.ys
that T a.. when one young wornan 80 M aaks another
ask what newspaper she prefers for bustlo,
|, We always get mad when We walk along
street about O'Clock at night, and passing
shaded porch where young man is bidding hia
loud whisper: "oh, stop, George; you haTen'k
shayed!": =
The difference between IN apt quotation
and ahut-up lancet is this one is case in point,
aud the other is point in case.
What is the difference between Jew and
lawyer ?-The one gets Ills law from the proph-
cts, the other his profits from tho law.
a gentleman took the following telegram to
b.
death Of Uncle James. Como quick to read
will 1belieVe We arc his 1airs.-John Black
The clerk, having counted the words, said:
"Ihere are two words too many, air." tAn
right, "Gut ont with grief.'"''
The President Of Nashville street railway
responded to demand for fare by saying, II
own most OF this road" and getting this reply.
swell, yon won't own it long il you don't pay
me your fare that's all Two got to say about
An old bacheloF said, "Tharo's darned
sight more jewelry worn nowadays than when
Was young But there's oue piece that al
way1ss admired that don't often see now"
What is that7" asked young lady. "a
thimble,'' YVES the reply. He was regarded With
contempt and Bcon by ayary 1aly in the room
for the rest OF the evening.
a celebrated singer, Madame Lo Rochois,
gE to ~ u
she wss about to sustain. = Inspire yourself
with the situation" said she, "fancy yourself in
the poor woman's place. II you we.e deserted
BY q lover whom you adorel, what would you
uo?" The reply WIS aa unexpected as it WAS In.
genious !" / would look out for another"
During protrscted religious revival at
Chittanango, N. Y, ono Of tina preachers i'm
prov4,eed hymns for familiar sec..as airs, such
Broadway, y" "On the Beach at Loug Branch"
and tho like, while refreshments wors served
to converts gratis" II this thing OF Offering
" free lunch as Al incontive to religion should
he persisted in. the world may be saved yet
louisville Courier-Jou17lal.
Little Jenny T--';s S years old. Her uncle.
gave her doll. Jenny cherished ksr doll With
al d mothers caro- The other day she WIS
nursing it on her knees she started suddenly,
the doll fell, aud the head was broken Of
Jenny Was overcome with grief at this mistor-
t11no, and looked aShast at the poor headiesH
doll !; then raising her eyes, Hhe said, with a
sigh OF resignation. ':Anothes little angel in
- It's an i'll wind, :" etc. - Brown" Hello
Jonesl WHAT'S the ma.tcr:" Jones (ana!eu1
tanor)-" Oh dreadful chronic inflammation oi
the 1arynx Lost my voice entirely !" Brown
Z" Dear me you don't mean that 7" Jones'
''Yes ; been compelled to give up singing elto-
gethert I" Brown with aiacrlty)- BY George,
Tonight, and spend the evening""
* clerk in tho indianapolis Post Ofice1s now
in the last stages OF drouth, occz4ioued by his
own gall2n1ry in volunteering to Lick and adjust
postage stamps for this Ju1ag ladies' who carao
to his window. He is very charming, and Iu1iac-
apo1is is full OF good-looking girls, who love
dearly to sea him run out his tongue and r1oisteo
= stamp. Tha doctor Gays that unless lie staxta
the sap in bis system ho ID gonsr.
-" htJ's going to join orr Sabbath schools
she's coming With mo ne1t Sunday, amt yoo.
Kitty Oh, don't knou-TFa nevsr benn
to 6abt:th-9chool yet-What do you Laye to
do9' Why. you get saved, Of courae ami
Books and albums and" 81 mean what do yo1
have to do-have to study anything 2" Oh.
it isn't like that. It's like church, you know.
% When yo9 first So in you hsys to put do.a year
Rssshen Rssa and kEfy daa know eani 'os
veil, do as do. Shut Jour eyes snd count