Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-09-04
Why. L am an Old Maid.

L expect always to be one. iii one
year ago tonight I lived in hope of
being delivered from this terrible
state; but now / have given up all
hope, and settled down into condi-
ton bordering on despair. As soon
as I gushed into young ladyhoOd, I
made q resolve to get married while
was. young, and handsome, and
stood good chance; but ] utterly
failed, and now, like the man who
was cured of 9 disease by remedy
that he discovered, and then offered
it gratis to others, I am going to tell
my story as receipt for old maidism.
Those who wish to follow in my foot
steps may :"go and do likewise;" and
rice versa.
Well. to begin, I always made it a
point to be at all the parties.
If I didn't get an invitation I in
vited myself I always contrived to
get money enough Gather was lit
tie parsimonious and held on pretty
tight to his purse strings, by cajol-
ing the dear old gent into the belief
that he was q paragon of goodness
and magnanimity. So Twas always
furbelowed and frizzled and thequeen,
in my own estimation at least, of all
fashionable circles. My mother and
my younger sisters stayed at home
and worked, while fitted from store
to store in search of the latest novel
ties: coquetted at balls and parties /;
rode, sailed and reveled in all sorts
Of pleasures. I'm not sure that they
didn't practice some selfdenials in or
der that I might enjoy these privi-
leges. never took the trouble to
investigate. I was the flower Of the
family, and Of course was entitled to
the best of everything. And then
my superior talent, elevated tone OF
mind and rare personal charms, de-
manded for me a wider range Of ac-
tion and a different mode Of life from
theirs.
Well, I found it would be best not
to be too precipitate in making an en-
gagement. I ought to see life in its
varied phases, study characters in
different lights, for while at least
The fact is, liked to firt, and I did
so to my hearts content, though l
fully intended to make life choice
before it was too late. liked 20 lure
on the sighing SWANS to-a confession
Of undying love and eternal fidelity
and SO forth, and then demurely tell
them that / never dreamed OF such
an end to what was only harmless
Irritation that I was sorry for the
pain inflicted; but I must decline
their proposals :; and to give emphasis
to my words, l would let fall re-
pentant tear or two. / really de-
spised every one of these idiots. ard
was provoked that they should aspire
to my hand / looked mach higher;
but for some unaccountable reason
those whom I admired and was dying
to bring to my feet kept aloof. l
used allmy arts, but to no purpose.
They would futter. around me awhile,
and then fly off.
Things went on this way for years.
do not know how many suicides I
was the cause Of. only know that
life was one gay holiday. At last
there began to be a falling off Of ad-
mirsrs; and I became alarmed. re-
sorted oftener to rouge and cosmetics,
dressed more and became gayer than
ever. But forall that, old maidism
stared me threateningty in the. face.
One night after I had retired to
my room, I was standing before my
mirror, re-arranging my hair for The
night, my sharp eye detected some
thing glisteniDg like thread of sill
yer in.the ebon locks that hung garound
my shoulders. l looked closer, and
uttered sharp exclamation. A grey
hair! Horror Of Horrors The hair
I was 50 proud of actually tuning
greyl Girls, pray you may not be
called to behold the first grey hair
while in a single state. May you
never suffer such a tempest of luorti-
fcation, anger and sorrow, as swept
over ray soul that night I.raved as
in a deliriam. I upset a pitcher of
hot water and nearly scalded my
feet, which made me as savage as q
bear. l pricked my fingers, and
scratched my face with the provoking
pins, that seemed possessed With. OBJ
stiaacy, and would bend and prick
and scratch. actually tore my hair,
iin,the inssne5wish. i suppose, cfpnll-
ing it out by the roots, and saving it.
fromsits impending fate-a fotetaste
of which was before me. I cant tell
what didn't dol
When it was oyer / sat down and
ttAaaaAk and thsa and thsss i made