Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-08-20
Odds and Ends.

There Is a.iaw nrlu III Bustun called
Steele and Gamble.
About fifty "Old Blenders" hay,
been arrested in Kansas.
Editor-a poor wretch who emptics
his brain TO fill his stomach.
When a mans nccktie is united
how Intidy he looks.
Chemists say no matter is eve los,
Printers deny it.
"A photographer requests that his
sign-"Taken from llic"-shouId be
his epitaph.
Ladies travelling across the plains
carry their hair in their pockets TO
avoid being scalped.
A Chiuamau III San Francisco talks
Spanish. We have sometimes seen
them "walk Spanish"
An old Western gamcster wants to
know if the vote of mo more. passes"
applies 10 railroad cuchre.
The ovcrsecrs of the poor in n Yer.
mont town set down in an anuuoI
report a charge of So for taking
paupers to the menageric."
ooh, Ma" said a little girl who
had been to the show. Owe seen the
elephant and he walks backwards
and eats with his tall"
A Washington paper announces
that the public printer will shortly
issue a complete complication of the
postal laws Of the United States."
"Don't worry about my going
away, darling. Absence, you know,
makes the heart grow fondcr." "Of
somebody clsc," added the darling.
a man addicted to snoring remark
ed to his bedsfellow i'll the morning
that he slept ''likc a top" Il know
IT, SAID the othcr-''!iks a humming
top"
The married ladies of a Western
city have formed u "Come-home-hus-
band-club." 1t is about four feet
long, and has Il brush on the cud OF
it.
People who have been sending after
the "quccr," or counterfeit money.
will no doubt be pleased to learn thai
full lists of names are being made for
publication.
The dying words of n Delaware
woman were: '.Ilenry, if vuu marry
again, remember that ii only takes a
cupful of sugar to swectcn u quart OF
gooseberries."
Aiioc.-"Do you know, uncle, that
that horrid Mr.. Blinks declares that
You have taken to hard drinkiug!"
Uncle George.-'.Not true, may dear
no! Never drank easier in my
life"
A druggist advertises that, in con-
sequence of cholera in n%cighboring
cities, he Will close his soda fountain
from date, and that all tickets will be
redeemed i'll cash Or u very reliable
cholera mixture.
This sad and serious obituary is
from a Philadelphia paper: Samuel
was q good child his temper sweet,
his aspect mild, and when he breathed
the vital air, he often soothcd lis
parents care" ,
A Sioux chief, after following n
surveying party om the Northern
Pacific for some days, mildly remarked
that they might go on, for he'd be
d-dif hc'd freeze to death for what
lair there was i'll that crowd. Il
A Troy man advcrtises 1.-The larg-
est assortment Of boys' pistols in tic
lnarket." Iuasmucii as the merchant
has All undertakcr's shop OH one side
OF him and q surgeons OIL the other,
suspicion has been aroused.
Forward aud Loquacious Youth
s'By Joyc, you know, upon my word,
nOw-if l were to see u ghost, you
know, / should be q cbattering idiot
for the rest OF my life p Ingenious
Maiden (drcamiIy)-"Iayo you seen
u ghost 2" t{jf a.Nt
The editor Of tic - Gazette,
having heard that sulphur in the
socks will prevent cholera, has wor-
Q stick Of birthstone out of the
Kew druggist, and now wants some
one to loan him u pair Of socks while
be tries the thing. E.A
The names Of the captains in the
German Lloyds service are
SAID 10 pc very difficult for Aiueri-
Lilienhaine, Erddmaan'
vos Oberendorp, Schulcnburgh and
Il
The ..Cofreyvillc, Kan, Courier.
thus adyertises itself: 1.-THE Cour.
Ter is printed nearer to the scene of
The late Bender horror than any other
newspaper. Those wishing TO sub
for . good, live newspaper
make q note Of the fact"
An advertiser Of u new lihiment
calls our attention to the fact
hat his notice should read. There
s no pain this IMMINENT will Lot re-
love-" al idea suggested to him by
he last issue OF the Dahbury News
n which . composition had taken the Z
TO substitute the word =
revive for '.relieye.n q
The Saturday Review takes up the 81
gureasof the United states census, :
nd ee3D that "adding 70 the local :,
lxatiOn and the debt Of the Federal y
lovernment. u n plain that per head (
le thirty-eiGht millions Of citizens :,
the Usited States are By Ear the ?