New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1873-09-08
OF EFT IND BRAI.NS.

or FAT AND BRAINS.
The Tichborne trial, in the heterogeneous
and dramatic variety of the proceedings, comes
nearer than most modern cases to the amusing
miscellany Of the State Trials, which are them
selves the most fascinating of all legal litera-
ture. DR.. Kenealys speech has no parallel ex-
cept in that wonderful Grafton which was made
by the Rghtful Prince in Thackeray's inimit-
able Rose and Ringn The Doctors endless
argument was literally what it has been called,
I" a long Socratic dialogue between the Doctor
:" and the Lord Chief Justice on human affairs
" in general Paul de KOch's novels, the casu-
isry of the Jesuists, the moral characteristics OF
priests and women, apOplexy and cataiepsy, and
the correlation of Fat and Brains. AS we
cannot comment upon all these topics we Sc
lect the last. DR.. Kenealy saw fit to dilate
upon the connection between the Claimants
"crumb" and his self-cOntradictiOn. Fat
"ness.n he said "was supposed by many to
"be thing that impaired the memory and
"clOuded the understanding. The defendant
twas a phenomenon such as they scarcely
"ever saw, being 20 stone in weight" This
assertion, of course, afforded a tempting OPP
portunity for the Lord Chief Justice to inter-
pose. "Have you any authority" he said, for
"supposng that fairness impairs the memory Z?
Z" 1t is new to me-" DR.. Kenealy, for once, was
bothered He acknowledged that he could not at
present give "chapter and verse" 81 submit
"it,r he said, with wonderful GOODNESS, not to
say impudence. "to the consideration Of the
Jury" But the Chief Justice by this time
was wide awake. He insisted upon knowing
ii, hal hot fat
the memory All DIR. X. could do was to
promise to bring the books at some other
time. But the c. j. declared the proposition
new and startling, and that che could give
"many instances the other way" All that
DR.. Kenealy could respond was that at
"school fat boys were Always the most
difficult to teach" Then he went on
with his speech, referring to the Lives
land varied careers of the Duke of
Wharton, Wortley Montague, Lord Ro-
chester, Baron Ockham, Lord Byron's
" grandson, and Lord Aberdeen" 1t would
have been altogether too close a piece OF
reasoning for the desultorY advocate to have
asserted that all these eccentric characters
were Fat So he said nothing at all on that
point.
We trust that no unfortunate gentleman
who pulls down 90 stone will be discouraged
by DR.. Kenealy's loose observations. We
have known many round and oily men who
were clever both in the pulpit and at the bar.
We have met even with Chief Justices who
were extremely stout. We recall a Senator
who was often compared to a load OF
hay, and an extremely heavy editor, who was
celebrated for the brilliancy of his paragraphs.
Jamie Thomson, the poet was fatter than bard
beseemed, and so was Lord Byron; Henry
the Eighth was no fool; neither Lord North
nor Charles James Fox was light weight.
Falstaff we need say nothing about, but there
is reason to believe that even the too intel
lectual Hamlet was a heavy baby. And as
for memory, why did DR.. Kenealy never hear
of one Edward GibbOn, that walking library,
who. when he kneeled to the lady OF his
affections, was so weighty that he couldn't
get up again though sharply commanded
to do so? We suspect that his memory
was always good enough, in spite of his adj
nose. TO remember that notifying moment.
Even if julius Caesar did like to have about
him sleek headed men and not men of hungry
look, there is no evidence that he did not
find the former useful as well as complying.
When a man cannot get ont OF his
chair without assistance, what Is to
prevent him from much thinking while
sitting there II is your light-foOted fly
aways that never cOgitate; and nobody ever
solved a problem in a hop, skip, and jump.
If great bodies move slowly they also move
surely and the wit of ponderOus man Qike
Falstaff) is often light enough. There never
was a sharper scoundrel in English politics
than Bubb Doddington (Lord MclcOmbe-Re-
gis), and he was no sylph. Pope was lean and
so was Swift, but John Gay, the friend Of
both of them, and in some respects worth
both of them, was fat, and even lazy.
The fact is, DR.. Kenealy's discovery is good
for nothing. Like most hasty congratulations
it is smothered iby the exceptions. Because
a fat man is too wise to fret himself lean
about trihes, it does not follow that he is an
idiot, incapable of remembering accurately
the leading events of his life. Like Sir John,
he may have convenient memory as to
matters which he does MT like TO remember ;
and we suspect the Fat Claimants mnemonics
to be of this class.
Somebody sends us from Ohio the advertisement
of a Iotterv swindler who ouOtes "a "A guarantees of