River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-02-21
Wit, HumOr, and Wisdom.

bone" d faf.l xio49 AZ 80
. The indolent habits of the Orientals
are well illustrated by the following
bon mot, which, in the regions of the
East, has assumed the character of an
adage: "No man should run when he
may walk, walk when he may stand
stand when he may sit, or sit when he
may lie down" 2 @ eau -
"T'M not used to begging" said a
little girl to lady whom she had asked
aims, "'causs only two weeks ago nv
father was merchant" "Why, child.
how could he be reduced to poverty SO
soon 2" "My father took bad two
dollar bill at his peanut stand, and Il
ruined him, sobbed the child.
A YOUNG man who applied at the re-
cruiting station in one of the far West
ern States for enlistment was asked if
he could "sleep on the point of a
bayonet," when he promptly replied
that " he could try it, as he had often
slept on pint of whiskey."
"MRs. jerks" said a little red
haired girl with pug nose end bare
feet, "mother says you will obleege
her by lendin' her stick of fire wood
fill this cruet with vinegar-puttin
little soft soap in this pan--and please
not let your turkey gobblers roost on
our fence"
A LITTLE boy who sang, CT want to
be an angel" in Sunday school with
so mucn energy that he almost choked
himself, confessed to an enterprising
reporter that he really wanted to be a
captain on canal boat, is it right to
encourage children in untruthfulness,
by allowing them to sing such melo.
dies?
The first person who ever wore a
ring with stone in it is said to have
been Prometheus, who was condemned
by Jupiter to wear upon his finger a
piece of Mount Caucasus, to which he
had been chained. This stone was set
in ring of iron.
In San Francisco court, the other
day, little dialogue ran thus:
Counsel to Witness You say you
were at his house every night?" eyes
sir" ''Were you his partner? mo,
SIR" "Any relative of his 2" emo"
"What were you doing at his house
every night2" 60 was sparkling his
wife's sister,"
A WATERFOWL gentleman, who has a
pair of wonderfully large feet, was
walking on the sidewalk adjoining the
depot, the other evening, and met sew
eral young ladies. The ladies began to
giggle, and our friend, thinking they
were laughing at his feet, when they
came closer stepped one side and said,
Sc Ladies, you can pass" They passed.
The following we clip from Mr..
Punch's Almanac for this year 81
am pleased to say, Mrs. Fitzbrowne,
that shall be able to vaccinate your
baby from a very healthy child of your
neighbor, Mrs. JONES'" Mrs Fitz-
browne" Oh, dear, DOCTOR 1 could
not permit that. We Go not care to be
mixed up with the Joneses in any
way"
A DAsHINa officer, meeting Dr. John
son at public dinner, endeavored to
force him into conversation. "Now,
Doctor" said he, "do not look so
glum, but be little lively and gay like
others. What would you give to be as
young and sprightly as ana" "Why,
sir" replied johnson, 81 would almost
consent to be as foolish"
THERE is little railroad at Bayou
Sara, La, that runs to Woodville on
very uncertain schedule. A stranger
came in the other day and inquired
how often the steam-cars made trips to
the country. The party Intercepted
said, "Tri-weekly." "What do you
mean by tri-weeklys' The answer,
cit goes up one week and tries to
come down the next.
A PoTTsvILLE man, who says he
hasn't attended church for twenty
years, boasts that he can remember
perfectly the preachers text on the last
occasion of visit to the sanctuary.
And this is the way he remembered it
when asked what it was: 1t is easier
for q camel to enter q circus, than for
a man to eat pack of needles"
A SMART boy in one of the public
schools at Cadiz, Pa, having been re.
auired to write composition on some
part of the human body, expanded as
follows: "The Throat-A throat is
convenient to have, especially for roos-
tiers and ministers. The former eats
corn and crows with it; the latter
breaches through his'n and ties it up"
AMONG all the curiosities of litera-
ture," obituary poverty is the most
curious, as the experience of every
editor will testify. We have seen a
great many hard specimens, published
not so much for their literary merit as
to assuage the grief OF their bereaved
friends, but the following from an
eastern paper will take the palm.
Z" The death angel smote Alexander McGlue,
And gave him protracted repose: