, 1873-06-01

and is explaining, while D-idge.'s mistress is
complaining. ''Why, oh why, when Eve sinned,
WAS she not cursed with dulnbness?" il your
half-uttered query. "Can that be Anna Ma
rias
that sounded go like tho cooing Of a dove before
she became Mrs Journalist" Even 80, dear
friend ; aud, if you sigh for your bachelor quar-
tors, where, after the nights labors aad imb;b-
ings, you slept 30 sound1y that nothing but an
earthquake or cyclone would hare aroused You,
do you not suppose that she also thinks regret
fully OF her little bower, whero servants aud
trndesmen were mammals or the housekceper's
affair, and her sole cause Of :'troable was the
usual slight, loving reproof she heard daily for
being late to breakfast? The door being ajar,
hopeful to close it, you hear III the rest Of the
callera. The rag-and-bottle man the woman
with poultry for sa1e the woman with vege-
tables the man with patent aour-sifter tho
child for cold pieces the grocer's boy, this time
with the groceries the post-man the ico-man;
AND SO on, AD 1SF1s11uMi
while your ears are also regaled BY meiodlons
street-scenee, including every merchantable nr-
ticle that can be hawked about. from ple.apples
to stray and eysry tpke1s Haae ea Iron Tns
ware to mend" Wash-tubs to mend" and 40
on. You have tried since daybreak to get TINT
nap, about as uusuccossfully as it waa possible
for you to do; go you rise, are cross % anna
N+@%AeAA 3-~~9est
and then 70 down town, and write efus1yely
upon our great and glorious country and it's
wonderful civilization. How can you, aftor such
an experience Where arc
TEE MECHANICAL aENIusEs
Of the country Who is the man who will i'm
mortalize himself BY inventing an electric signal
which can shock Bridget into consciousness Of q
party waiting at the lower-door, and, in case OF
the Bridgetine element being wanting, can be
transferred to yonr wife, and noiselessly an
nounce the fact? Where is the Pneumatic-t9n-
mel man, who shall arrange series OF tubular
conveyances, by which The butchers boy may
send the meat and vegetables straight to their
proper place in the refrigerator, the ice-man
convey his commodity in similar manner, the
post-man send the letters to your bedside, ditto
and all OF the necessary articles which are re-
quired to keep the household and the vital ma
chinery in motion thus be quietly conveyed to
theirproper places, and your sleep left
and such people who do make early morning
hideous with their shrioks, is there no means OF
abating them2 Could they not be restricted to
o limited number OF hours in which to try their
musical voices?
COULDN'T GILMORE
at least engage them for the Jubilee-week, and,
in the meantime, lot some philsnthropic lover OF
his sex, some Cruelty to-Humaus Society, de-
eide upon removing or restricting them? Do
not boast OF civilization while it is impossible to
6l69p JuSt DoC1u ApC1-Dcl6 Auu Aook-IeA2 G4A0
a nuisance. When proper degree Of quiet
prevails, when all the business Of life ia carried
on smoothly and noise1essly as all tho sewing
machines work (vide advertisemsnts), then you
may have arrived at that state which
the gentle savage, the Modoc in
nity from unearthly matutinA sounds
unless provoked BY themselves, and then only
an occasional ride-crack. It is 8 question for
SCHOOLS, PHILOSOPHERS, AND PHnANTuRop1srs.
We speak Of the schools first, becauae, although
We have placarded on our basement-door. mo
calls answered until after 10 .. H." it doesn't
make any difference, and We think perhaps the
schools are to blame, as it is evident these poo
pie cannot read. It isn't Of the least use to WOO
the balmy restorer unless other conditions can
be equalized and the matter made possibility.
Give US the silent electric annunciator, the
household pneumatc-g goods conveyancer, the
appropriation by Gilmore OF the peripatetic
musicians, and the proper circumscription Of
the street-peddlers, then shall we indeed be
happy, and not feel that re are wasting breath
when We urge:
Come, Eature's sweet restorer, bal,ny slecpl