The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1873-06-12
The Gent.

those genealogical ladies now becoming
rarc) would never allow that any but
people Of family could have bona ade
rout; if it was mentioned that rofurser
afflicted with the disease, she would
shake her head. "Na, ma! it's only my
father and Lord Gallows' that have the
REGULAR eout.n In BackHoods Mdgd-
zine, 1868, in = paper of surprising hu'
NOR, appears the following. :,
"That pain which you feel IN the
Joint of your great toe, quOth Monsieur
Gout, "has, you fattcr yourself: be-
come rather less since eight O'Clock,
when you took your last dose OF col
chicum. Quite mistake, my dear Sir.
The member, is, if anything, more swol-
len and inflamed than before. Observe
now, l shall take the liberty Of insert
ing this little awl, just by the way OF
probe. Aha! it makes you vince. a
very good sign that, however, since IL
proves that there is no ground tor ap-
pretending Immediate modification.
Now do YOU know why it is that your
toe is 80 singuIarly sensitive! Ill tell
YOU. You remember three years ago,
ordering u batch of Burgundy. Previ.
Gus that time you had been in very good
health, for You had plenty OF occupation
and little leisure for gluttony or WINE.
bibbing; your means were limited, and
during the holidays you took sumc'cnt-
cy Of pedestrian exercise. Really, IN
those days, never expected to have The
pleasure Of making your acquaintance.
/ considered you just the kind OF a fc'-
low likely to become an ornament OF
the Alpine Club. But your cstiinable
uncle, old Jones the Observation-Disclosures
YOU, knew him very well indeed many
= time have clalted to him when he
was roaring like an aggravated bullock
your old uncle Jones, say, died and
left YOU his moncy-YOu are not going
to sleep, arc your Well, call that rath-
or unhandsome treatment, considering
that have taken the pains to come here
and bear you company. A slight touch
of the pinccrs may, hOwcvcr-aha, all s
right again you arc as lively as u snap
pIng-turtle.
Whereabouts was =? Oh, remember.
Old Jones left you his money, and you
determined to take your e;.s'. NO one
can blame you for that. What's the use
Of tagging to make more when you arc
in possession OF a cool 81, 900 q year,
and may indulge in n shooting box and
hunters! But you could never make up
. respectable bag on the mOors, and on
horseback you were anything but Du-
crow. You preferred living in town,
took chambers ir the Albany, gave nice
little recherche dinners, and laid in that
stock of Burgundy TO which | have al
ready alluded. 1t was Of u fine vintage
strong and heady, and made the blood
circulate in the veins like lightning. 70
it attribute the honor of our first INTRO
duction, though port and claret, not to
mention sundry kinds OF delicious entire
NETS, did undoubtedly contribute 10 les
sen the distance between us Then you
took to late hours, hot rooms, and ecdrfe,
almost justly included in the catalogue
of fashionable pleasures and Our &C
quaintancc, ut first only slight, has now
ripencd into permanent friendship. But
l really must not allow my feelings to
divert me from tho scientific purpose for
which have visited you tonight. Don't
be afraid. shall lay aside awl and pinch
cers, and vary the experiment by inject
ing few drops of molten lead between
the flesh and the bone. Ha what an
cnviablc yell! Your lungs, can assure
you, are in aperfectly healthy state, and
may last You for tho next twenty years,
il you don't force me to get into your
stomach. By-thc-way, what silly
provcrb that is against pushing things
to an extremely! 1t is with the extrem-
tiles always mako point Of dealing
in tho first instance, and l take it that
very few people would wish me to de-
part from the practice. What is that
you say? You wish that | would go TO
the devil Pardon me for limiting in reply
that You are both rude and unreasona-
bic. am here, As you well know, in
consequence of your ind,scretions."
Archbishop Sheldon not only wished
for govt, but protfcrcd Fl 900 to any
person who would help him to it, look
ing upon it rs "thc only remedy for the
distress in his head"
A young gentleman living in King
ston, n. Y, went TO sec his girl the 9th