Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1873-08-02
A MAD INTERVIEWER.
Pouring Water Down the Spine Of a
Drunken Mans Baok-Experienoe Of
One Who Tried It.

He came In with an Interrogation point
In Que eye and a stick 10 one hand. One
eye was covered with a handkerchief and
one arm In a sling. His bearing was
that oil a man with a settled purpose in
view.
81 want 10 see," said he "the man
that puts things into this paper"
We inlimsted that several Of us earned
a frugal livelihood In that way.
swell; / want 70 see the man which
cribs things out Of the other papers. The
fellow who writes mostly with shears,
you understand"
We explained 10 him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among DIS,
driven to frenzy by the scarcity Of ideas
and events, and BY the clamorous de-
mands Of an Unsuitable public, In mo-
ments Of emotional insanity plunged the
glitteriug shears into our exchanges. He
went off calmly, but in voice tremulous
with suppressed feeling, and lndistinct
through the recent loss Of half dozen
or 50 Of his front teeth
"Just so. presume 80. l don't know
much about this business, but want to
see man, that man that printed that
little piece about pouring cold water down
a drunken mans spine Of his back, and
making him Instantly sober. II you
please, want to see that man. would
like to talk with him."
Then he leaned his stick against our
desk aud spit on his serviceable hand,
and resumed his hold on the stick as
though he was weighing it. After study
ing the stick minute, he added In u
somewhat louder tone
"Mister, came here to see that 'err
man. want 10 see him bad"
We told him that particular man was
not In.
"Just so. l presume so. They told
me before l come that the man ] wanted
to see wouldn't be anywhere. III walt
for him. live up north, and l'ye walked
seven miles TO converse with that man.
guess IN sit down and wait"
lie sat down by the door and reaectlvely
pounded the floor with his stick, but his
feelings would not allow HIN TO keep
still.
81 suppose none of you didn't ever
pour much cold water down any drunken
mans back 10 make him Instantly sober,
perhaps"
None of us in the office had ever tried
the experiment.
"Just so. thought Just as like as not
you had not. Well, mister, have.
tried II yesterday, and have come seven
miles on foot 10 see the man that printed
that piece. II want much Of a piece,
don't think but want TO see the man
that printed It just few minutes You
see, JohR Smith, he lives next door 10 my
mouse, when Pm to home, and he gets
how come you 40 every little period.
Now, when he's sober, he's all right il
you keep out Of his way, hut when he's
drunk he goes home and breaks dishes.
and tips over the stove, and throws the
hardware around, and niskes II incon.
venient for his wife, and sometimes he
gets his gun and goes out calling on his
neighbors, and 1t amt pleasant"
Not that l want to say anything about
Smith, but me and my wife don't think
he ought to do so. He came home drunk
yesterday, and broke all the kitchen win
dows out of his house, and followed bis
wife around with the carving knife, talk
ing about her liver, and after a while be
lay down by my fence and went to sleep
| had been reading that little piece II
want much of piece, and l thought Il
| could pour some water down his spine
on his back, and make him sober, 4
would be more comfortable for his wife
1
| poured a bucket OF spring water down
John Smiths spine of his back.
| "Woll," said we, as our visitor paused
did il make him sober ~ Our visito
took a firmer hold of his stick, and re
piled with increased emotion;
Just 30. | suppose it did make hin
as sober as judge in less time than yol
could say Jack Robinson but, mister, i
made him mad. II made him the mad
dest man | ever saw and Mr.John smitl
is bigger man than me and stOuter
Bla-bess him, never knew he was hal
so stout till yesterday, and he's hand
with his fists, too. | suppose he's tn
handiest man with his fists ever saw.
"Then he went for you, did he 7" W
asked innocently.
Just so. Exactly. ! suppose he wen
for me about the best he knew, but
don't hold no grudge against John Smith
suppose he amt good man TO hold
3 grudge against, only want 10 see tina
man what printed the piece. want /
see him bad. feel as though il woul
g soothe ME to ace that man. | want {
Z show him how a drunken man acts whe
= you pour water down the spine of hi
back. That's what / come for"
Our visitor, who had poured watC
down the spine Of drunken mans bach
remained until about O'Clock in ID
evening, aud then went UP the street I
find the man that printed that little piec'
The man he Is looking fOi started fC
, Alaska last evening for a summer vacl
|, ton, and will not be back before Septen
Der, 1878. - Utica Herald.