davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Unhappy Thoughts.

That 50 few people know beans.
That one can never find any one in.
That so many people want to be pres
ident.
That money continues to make the
mayors go. - - -. ae4ssse-s- = =
That boys will smoke and chew and
chuck dice.
That men of small caliber should
by such great bores.
That we should have panics jp the
season of picnics.
That Chatham street can't have its
nose unlocked.
That, as a rule, the more a man reads
the less he knows.
That it is so easy for a man to make a
donkey of himself.
That there should be so many rats
about and so few cats.
That young pets should feel it their
duty to be melancholy.
That there is no process by which you
can make two and two five.
That men will drink gin-cocktails
when they can ginger-cocktails.
That "Old Prob" can't furnish us all
with the kind of weather we wish.
That there should be so much think
ing in the world and so few thoughts.
That men should be born free and
equal and women neither equal or free.
That our "gentlemanly hotel clerks"
will not be satisfied with dollar jewelry.
That there shouldn't be smoking-pews
in church as we'll as sleeping pews.
That there should lie so many more
lunatics out of the asylums than in
them.
That husbands-the horrid creatures
will read the newspapers at breakfast
That people should drink to keep
themselves up, when it only keeps them
down.
That, humanity speaking, there should
be more early birds than early worms.
That young girls will part their hair
on the side and the young men in the
middle.
That nearly every English author
should think he can come and play the
Dickens.
That among men black should be con-
sidered worse than white, seeing that
neither of them is color.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Cheap and Airy Costume

The primitive leaf costume in vogue
in the days of Adam and Eve is said to
be perpetuated by small Hindoo tribe
inhabiting remote nook of the province
of Orissa. When engaged with Mr.. L.
Ravenshaw, the commissioner of Orissa,
in settling boundary dispute in 1866,
Col. Dalton had his first opportunity of
| studying a party of JGangs, consisting
of a matron, half a dozen comely
maidens, and as many men. The men
had already abandoned the use of leaves
| for the smallest possible quantity of
cotton cloth, but the women clung to
their foliage under the belief that when
the river goddess, Byturnee, first leaped
| from the Gonasika rock, she was so
| angry at the spectacle of a party of
| Juangs dancing naked, that she con-
| demned them to adopt leaves as their
dress forever, or die. The first torch
| light dance of this party was shy. Next
day, says Col. Dalton, they came to my
| tent at noon, and while I conversed
with the males on their custom, Ian
guage and religion, the girls sat nestled
together in a corner, for long time
silent and mOtionless as statues, but
| after an hour or two had elapsed the
nymphs showed signs of life and symp-
toms of uneasiness, and, more atten
lively regarding them, I found that
great tears were dropping from their
downcast eyes like dew-drops on green
leaves. On my tenderly seeking the
cause of their distress, was told that
the leaves were becoming dry, stiff, and
uncomfortable, and if they were not
allowed to go into the woods for a
change the consequences would be seri-
GUS and they. certainly could not dance
1t was bright, dry day, and the crisp
rustling as they rose to depart con
frmed the statement. When they re-
turned, arrayed in fresh leaves, we in
duced them to give lis not only the
solemn measure of the evening before,
but to perform a variety of sportive
dances, some quite dramatic in effect,
and it was altogether a most interesting
"ballet." They concluded with a vul-
ture dance, a highly dramatic finale
One of the men was made to lie on the
ground and represent dead body. The
girls, in approaching it, initiated the
hopping, sideling advance of the bird
of prey, and, using their hands as
beaks, nipped and pinched the pseudo
corpse in manner that made him occa-
sionallY forget his character and veil
with pain.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
THE POOR WORKING NAN


Is there no secret place on the face of the earth
Where charity dwelleth, where virtue hath birth?
Where bosoms in mercy and kindness Will heave,
And the poor and the wretched shall ask and re-
ceive;
Is there no place earth where a knock from the
poor
VIII bring kind angel to open the door?
All! search the wide world wherever you can,
There is no opendoor for poor workingmani
Go, look in yon hail. where the chandeliers light
Drives off with its splendor the darkness of night
Where the rich hanging velvet, in shadowy fold,
Sweeps gracefully down with its trimming of gold,
And the mirrors of silver take up and renew,
In long lighted vistas, the wildering view
Go there in your patches, and find, if you can,
Awelcoming smile for poor workingman!
Co. look in your church of the cloud-reachng spire
Which gives back to the sun his same look of red
fire:
Where the arches and columns are gorgeous within.
And the walls seem pure a soul without sin I;
Go down the long aisle-see the rich and the great
In the pride and the pomp of their worldly estate
Walk down in your patches, and find, if you can,
One who opens pew to poor workingman!
Go look to yon judge in his dark flowing gown,
With the scales wherein law weighs equity down.
Where he frowns on the weak, and smiles on the
strong,
And Furnishes right, while he iustifes wrong;
Where jurors their lips on the Bible have laid,
To render a verdict they've already made
Go there, in the courtroom, and find, If you can,
Any law for the cause Of poor workingman!
Go, look in the banks, where Mammon has told
His hundred of thousands of silver and gold;
Where safe from the hands of the starving and POOR
Lies pile upon pile of the glittering ore;
Walk up to the counter ah there you may stay,
Till your limbs grow old and your hair turns gray,
And you'll find at the banks no one of the clan
With money to lend to poor workngman!
Then go to your hovel mo raven has fed
The wife who has suffered too long for her bread
Knee down to her pallet, and kiss the death frost
From the liDS of the angel DOYerty lost
Then turn in your agony upward to God,
And bless while it smites you, the chastening rod
And you'll find at the end of your life's little span
There's welcome above for poor wOrkingman!
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
A British Prediction of the Future
of American Iron.

! Notwithstanding the efforts of our
/ British exchanges to convince themselves
and their readers that the importation
of American iron into England is i'm
possible, the very idea of such thing
seems to be nightmare of horror TO
them. They cannot let the subject
drop, even for week. Says Iron, in
its last issue
"The tall talk of last week on the
importation of American iron into Liv-
erpool has been supplemented by asser-
tions that the mills of Pittsburg, Pa,
are rolling boiler plates for Ireland, and
that large consumer in South Stafford
shire has lately concluded a contract
with a Pennsylvania rolling mill for
5000 tons finished iron. Although
many of the reports now flying about
will be found destitute of foundation,
there is little doubt that the Americans
have succeeded in elbowing us out of
the Canadian market, and that both Au-
stralian and South American purchas-
ers of hardware are attracted by the
beautifully finished American work,
which, although dearer, is infinitely
more saleable than ours. Great and
we'll founded apprehensions are enter
tanned that the development Of the i'm
mense mineral resources of Virginia
will seriously affect, if not entirely ex-
tinguish, our iron trade with America"
How much or little of truth there
may be in the statements above made
concerning American steel boiler plates
and finished iron for British consump-
ton, we are not prepared to say. We
have heard the stories, and are, cOnse-
quently, disposed to receive them cum
gr0nO salts; but Iron is right in what
it has to say about our growing trade
with Canada, Australia and South Amer
lea, and is probably not far astray in its
predictions as to the ultimate benefits
which will follow the development of
the vast coal and iron resources of the
Virginias. The probable rapidity of
this development may be estimated
from the fact that seven ore beds, sew
enteen coal mines and twelve furnaces
are now in operation on or near the line
of the Chesapeake and Ohio railroad.
Kentucky, Tennessee and Alabama are
also developing their iron resources,
and in few years the south will con-
tribute largely to the iron production
of the country. When that time comes
we shall not only have no use for Brit |
ish iron, but we may have some of our
own make to spare for such of our
neighbOrs as may want it.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Who Can Most Easily be Spared 2

Young men, this is the first question
your employers ask themselves, when
business becomes slack, and when it is
thought necessary to econoUize in the
matter of salaries. This question is an
swered in an American journal to our
satisfaction. It answers the question
who can best be spared this way The
barnacles, the shirks, the make-shifts,
somebody's nephews, 1OrOtegees, some
body's or-nothings. Young man,
please remember that these are not the
ones who are called for when RESPONSE
BILE positions are to be filled. Would
you like to gauge your own fitness for a
position of prominence? Would you
like to know the probabilities of your
getting such position? Inquire with
in ! What are you doing to make
yourself valuable in the position you
now occupy? If you are doing with
your might what your hands find to do,
the chances are ten TO one that you will
soon become so valuable in that posi-
ton that you cannot easily be spared
from it and then, singular to relate,
will be the very time when You will be
sought out for promotion to better
place. Be content to grade among the
men who can easily be spared, and you
may rest assured that nothing will
" spare you so certainly and so easily
as promotion.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Co. Operative Farming.

The idea that farming can be conduct
ed on any kind of a cooperative plan
seems, at first view, absurd, and few
farmers would listen to such a scheme.
But, taking a clearer view, it will be
seen that cooperation has already COM
menced, and that so far it is highly sue
cessful. For instanc', the best and the
principal part of the cheese produced
in the country is made by the cooper
ative plan, whether the farmers sell
their milk, or put in their milk and re-
ceive their pay in dividends when the
cheese is sold, for both plans are
adopted. Country merchants have now
almost ceased to buy cheese, and we'll
enough, too, for they are without prop
er means of taking care of it; many of
them are such poor business men, or
they have so little capital, that they can
not afford to pay what cheese is worth
and, formerly, when they dealt in it,
many of them failed. Butter is also
made in factories in the same way and
even when made in families it is bought
by special dealers who take it at the
house and pay cash for it. This is of
great advantage to the dairy farmer, for
he is able to pay cash for whatever he
uSSNls anu u6 Cdu bEdu6 WDCIc u6
likes. If progress is made with like
success in this manner, for few years,
the country merchant will buy neither
fruit, hops, nor vegetables, and he will
sell but few groceries or farm machinery,
for these can be bought, as they now
are in many sections, at wholesale.
Grain could be sold by the farmers of a
township or district at wholesale, and
at better prices than they now get in
the retail way; and buyers can afford
to pay better prices for this way of
doing business drops out, first, the
country merchant; second, the small
dealer, making two middlemen, and of
course their profits are saved to the
farmer.
A western genius has an idea which
is an idea. He proposes TO arrange
church seats on pivots so the devout
may more conveniently examine the
4 r l.,
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Cassagnac, the Editor Bully of Paris

CaSSagnacI the Editor Bully of Paris.
To have been a decided opponent of
the late imperial regime is to have had
the bitter enmity, the constant abuse.
the unmitigated insults of Monsieur
Paul de Cassagnac heaped upon one,
and in several cases these onslaughts of
the fiery editor have led to meetings,
generally resulting in the wounding of
Cassagnac's antagonists. Still young
and very vigorous, he is at least six
feet, very broad and muscular. Mon
sieur de Cassagnac, by daily practice,
has attained such skill at fencing that
it Is next to impossible to touch him.
Almost invariably the first offense is
given by de Cassagnac. He makes it a
boast that his abuse is never stinted.
and when In consequence he is chal-
lenged, he selects small swords as the
weapons for an encounter. He is safe
in doing so, as but few men can compete
with him, and those who make the en-
deavor generally receive a thrust for
their pains. Monsieur Paul is a very
conspicuous parsonage in the street.
He is very tall and broad-shouldered,
and he wears a very large and peculiar
looking hat, which he cocks over upon
his left ear. So much does he incline
his hat that sometimes one wonders that
1t does not fall off. Monsieur Cassag-
nae walks in a bold, defiant manner,
and carries huge walking-stick, which
he, from time to time, swings ominous-
lY from side to side. as though Just
preparing to smash the head of some
imaginary foe, and / have noticed that
at such times the passers-by do not fail
to point him out very admiringly. AS
for the ladies, they admire Monsieur de
Cassagnac very openly. He is so large,
so dark, his eyes are so black and so
bright, and he is so very notorious, you
know Courier Journal.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Letter from General RYAN.

The following letter has been received
by Gen. Geo. W. Cook, an intimate
friend of Gen. Ryan's:
BLURDELL HALL, KINGSTON, JAMAI-
CA, Oct. %, 1973.-IO n1g dear George. :
In one hour we leave for Cuba. This
is quite unexpected, as we didn't expect
to go until tomorrow, and 1 have just re-
turned from the country. We arrived
on the 18th inst. had storm on the 7th !;
all provisions washed overheard, and
deck swept fore and aft. Capt. Harris
and the purser were badly injured.
The captain pronounced it the most Sc
we're hurricane he ever saw. For few
hours thought we would all enjoy the
novelty of bath in mid-ocean.
Since our arrival we have had splen-
did time, feast after feast, ball after
ball. The first ball was given in honor
of Gen. Verona and myself. All the
fashion and wealth of the place were pre-
sent. The governor general Condova
and Judge Tichburn gave others, and
gay ones they were. The place is filed
with beautiful women and gay and
splendid fellows, generous to fault and
liberal as princes. I must say that I
never received such attention. regret
that want of time will prevent me giving
you detailed account ofmy adventures.
[ am fat as bull and gay as lark, and
leave this place with many regrets.
Very truly, etc. w. A. @. RYAN.
GEN. ScHENcK's LITTLE JoKE.-The
English of to-day are most severely,
prosaically practical and commonplace.
Gen. Schenck, our minister to England,
having had as fellow-passenger on the
outward steamer a son of Ben Holiday,
of overland stage fame, thought to make
a joke on a gentleman named Christmas,
whom he met soon after landing in En-
gland. Said the general: ''I think I
met relative of yours on the steamer,
Judging from his sname--aM Mr.. Holiday"
fsAh !" said Mr.. Christmas, meditatively,
"I think not. I never heard of rela-
tive by that name" Afterward, Mr..
Schenck told the story at dinner-table,
and the guests each glared at his neigh
bor, and no one saw the joke. At last,
out of very civility, the host, noble |
lord, feeb1y laughed and said, "Ah
vas very good, general. All, were they, |
ah-related, you know"
There has been break in the en-
bankment of the Mississippi river, just |
below st. Louis, and the inhabitants |
were obliged to coniscate a Chicago |
mans boots to plug it up with. /
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28

Says the Detroit Free Press A
New Hampshire man was struck on the
head with an axe and made an idiot for
life, and yet the man who struck him
was fined only S65. IL doesn't damage
a New Hampshire man much TO make a
fool of him
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28

The whole number of Modocs sent
to the island in South Platte river, near
fort Mcpherson, Neb., is one hundred
and fifty-seven, the most noticeable Of
whom is Miss Mary Jack, who is eigh-
teen, and handsome and has long, wavy
hair, and pair of black eyes that snap
awfully when anything is said about her
late father.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
W. G. Sheppard,
SURGEON DENTIST,
COLUMBIA, TENN.
COLUMBIA, TENN.

oFFIcF-ileming new block. Garden street,
nearly opposite the PEesbyterisD Church
keep constantly on hand a mn stock Of tooth
tablets, soaps and lotions for the mouth and gums
all recommended 10y the United States dental asso-
citation. Call and see me.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28

Several negro families are prepar-
ing to emigrate from East Tennessee to
Liberia.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28
Old.Time superstitions.

The power of the old is amazing.
How hard do old superstitions and Gus
toms die out The men of Homer's
time poured ont sacrifcial libations 30
the gods, and 30 the dead, and 30 the
young blades Of to-day must empty the
winecup TO drink TO each others health.
In the childhood of the race IL was inn
agined, as IL still is by savages, that
when a man sneezed IL indicated the
presence within him OF n spirit. And
so, to-dSy, when a child sneezes. the
nurse declares that 10 is q sign Of health
and good luck. After eighteen centu-
ries of the gospel the old pagan super
stitions are still alive. Though in less
than four centuries christianity mounted
the throne of the Caesars, and put
every pagan practice under stern CON
demnation, yet for many and many
centuries the old worship OF Jove and
Venus fingered on in the obscure viii
lagos of the empire and, where IL did
not openly appear, il secretly entered
into and possessed and transformed
christianity itself, so that the historical
student can find in present Romanism
traces of almost all the rites and divin-
tiles of classic time. The feast OF the
Saturnalia survives in Christmas Juno,
oueen goddess of heaven, lives in the
Madonna the pope still calls himself
Pontifex Maximus, i. O., the great
bridge-builder, as did the pagan high
priest the censers and tapers and lus-
trial water of the temples are still in
use in the church, which still has the
form, and often the name, of the Ro-
man Basilica, or law-court. Or, il we
turn to what IL our civilization is most
opposite TO the spirit and work Of the
Catholic church,-to modern thought
and science-equally there, in it's repub-
lican aspirings, in its devotion to-we
might say, almost worship of-the nat
ural, and comparative ignoring Of the
supernatural, are the unmistakable
Of the power that Greece
and Rome still hold in our politics and
our religion.
DIDN'T SUIT HER.-'Twas a shawl the
girl wanted. Now the polite merchant
prides himself upon his good taste, and,
having large stock Of shawls, thinks
that where he fails TO suit. il is useless
for any one else to try. He selected
shawl and arranged il in the manner
now worn, having some trouble in get
ting IL to lay down in front just TO his
notion. He succeeded, however, and,
stepping back few PAGES, asked how
that suited. "Humph," replied the
girl, "I wouldn't be found dead in the
woods with that shawl on. The shawl
was restored 10 the box by his affable
clerk,
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28

A western genius has an idea which
is an idea. He proposes 20 arrange
church seats on pivots so the devout
may more conveniently examine the
toilets of those in the back seats.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-28

There has been break in the en-
bankment of the Mississippi river, just
below st. Louis, and the inhabitants
were obliged to confiscate a Chicago
mans boots to plug it up with.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-09-18

away with my team-that's what she did and
it's all hoax about the road agents. The
passengers are back at the other station" Sam
had suddenly became "all things to all men,
to degree that surprised himself. He was
wrong about the horse, too, as was proven by
its return to its owner four days after. BY
the same hand came the following letter to
Mr. Samuel Rice:
"DEAR Mr.. RIcE:-1t was 50 good in you! !
thank you more than can say. wish could
set myself right in your eyes, for prize your
friendship dearly-dearly; but know that can,
not. 1t has not been all my fault. Twas married
to bad bad man, when was only fifteen. He
has ruined my life; but now he is dead, and |
need not fear him. I will hereafter live as good
cheeks as 1 write you this farewell-as they did
that day when I saw that sweet woman ana her
babe at the farm house gate, and knew what was
in your thoughts. Heaven send you such vile.
Good-by, dear Mr.. Rice, good-by.
There are some men as we'll as women, in
this world, who could figure in the role of
Evangeline, who have tender, loyal and con:
stant hearts. Such one was the driver of
the Lucky Dog stage. But, thoug III he sat on
that box for two years longer, and scrutinized
every dark-eyed, sweet-voiced lady passenger
who rode in his coach during that time, often
with an intense longing for a sight of the face
he craved-it never came. Out of the heaven
of his life that star had vanished forever, and
nothing was left him but soiled photograph,
and tear-stained letter, worn with frequent
folding and unfolding.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-09-18

How AN OLD LADY TURNED THE TABLES
ON Two RoBBERs.-The Opelousas (La.)
Journal, of the 10th, is responsible for the fol-
lowing,
Down in the parish of St. Martin, an old
widow, whose children had all married off and
left her alone, had been persuaded to sell her
little place and live with them. She sold her
land buildings and improvements one day for
$4,000, and received the money in cash on the
spot, in her own house, where the act of sale
was passed before two witnesses, the number
required by law, and who witnessed also the
paying Of the money.
In short time she was to give possession,
but she remained in the house the night fol-
lowing sale, all alone, as was her custom.
That night two negro burglars broke into the
house and demanded her money or her life.
She gave it to them, but begged them to let
her have 500 of it, as she owed that amount,
and wanted to pay the debt, when she would
be satisfied. They finally consented to let her
keep the hundred dollars. They then order
ed her to make some coffee for them to drink.
In doing so, she bethought herself Of some
strychnine she had in the house, and quietly
dropped it in the pot Of steaming coffee, and
placed it on the table with cups, spoons and
sugar for. them to pour out and sweeten to
their taste. This they did and drank in
jolly mood, each one having s950in his pock-
ct. But in few minutes the tables were
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-09-18

ag- One Of our exchanges thus reasons with
the man who don't take the papers-except
when he takes them from his neighbors Now
l tell you, squire, the day will come when
somebody will write long eulogy, on your
life, character etc., and the printer will put it
in type, with heavy black rule over and un-
der it, and with all your riches this will be
done for you as pauper. Your liberalities,
wealth and all such will be spoken Of, but the
printer as he arrauges the type, will remark:
"Poor, mean devil, he never took the paper,
and is now swindling the printer out of his
funeral notice."