The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-04-24
An EsraOralaary xoung woman.


VIC have il upon the authority OF tEe
Columbus (Ohiol Journal that recently there
was consigned 10 the county Jail there q
prisoner 9lcntcously provided with names
and surnamcs. Il Was the humor of this
person sometimes u be called j.. f. Colds
borough. occasionally Charles Smith, and
then again Mr.. Frank Belden The pIis-
Oner was committed for larceny. as We shall
presently see, and when received Us the
/ iailer wore pantalOons with the air Of one
accustomed TO those garments 1t turned
out. however. that j. f. Charles-FTaRk was
OF the softer SORT Of sex; that her true bap-
tismai name (alas that we should be COM
PEELED to say so) was Mary, and that iic
has run such career, during her twenty
five years Of life as to suggest entirely new
views Of female capacity, than which no
more Interesting topic can at present be
discussed. Mary, at the age of twenty
three. being determined to live ly her wits.
bad the wit. in the very beginning, to dis
card her long clothes and 10 employ tailor.
Making progress in her masculine career,
she became bar-keeper in a saloon. and dis
penscd drinks of various sorts to the thirsty
Of Columbus, who swallowed their bcver-
eyes in stolid ignorance Of the angel who
ministercd unto them. Pursuing the manly
scheme of life which she had marked out
for herself, she stole 800 OF the spirit-sel-
ler's money, and (still pantalOOned)
launched upon a wilder and more dangerous
sea Of enterprise.
In Cincinnati. Mons. Mary WAS waiter in
Il saloon, where she might have continued
Co dispense chops and to change plates If
she had not thought it pertinent 10 the
manly part which she had assumed To wor-
AZ llnr of i1a-
tions being too frequent and possibly too
strong, she was depOsed from the position
OF waiter. when, going to Cleveland, she
became still more manly, since there she
has assumed the arduOus role Of lover, and
laid scige to the affections Of Miss Kitty
O'Neal, TO whom she pledged undying az
lection. II was a matter of course that
Kitty should be left to die of broken
heart, or 80 live rs she could with dam
aged one; for the eccentric Mary cSsaycd
other achievements of genius. Generally
she was thief, but nov and then she de-
waited lstill in pantaloOns) into honest WAYS.
Upon the lIahOning Canal she was en-
plOycd to coerce the fiery chargers. Upon
some steamboat she obtained the Office of
clerk, in which she gave great satisfaction,
until the rosy god once more miSlcd her
All this time, she was just as manly as she
could possibly be- She smoked the fragrant
weed. With bOldneSs which excites our
aStonishmcnt, she also masticatcd the same.
No Young gentleman could take pcrpondic-
ular drinks ut the bar with greater fire.
queney and elegance. So wcnt-on our cpl
Gene, imbibing, smoking, chewing, swearing
and making love with Just as much auda-
cious impudcnce as if her name had prop
crly been John or Sam instead OF Mary
But we arc obliged to record that this
talented damsel tempted fate once too often,
and that IS why she is now in Columbus
jail The kind conductor of railway
train from GAINESVILLE to Columbus, suppos-
ing her TO be M honest gentleman, allowed
her to sleep in a caboose car and she re-
quilted this touching bcncyolcnce by steal
ing his gold ehronomoter-an implement
which no conductor can we'll spare. For
this the young woman will, for some time
TO come, remain clustered up; but when
again at large, a noble career is vet before
her, for she may take to lecturing. She has
at any rate done something to vindicate the
eqnslity of the sexes. IfheF garments have
been manly, so have been the achievements
of this Ohio Moll Flanders, and she has at
least demonstrated that in all this world
there is nothing sharper than a sharp-wittod'
waman--until she gets into Jail.