Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-04-04

He was a square-toed Christian, was
John Baker, and never made practice
of seining pogies on Sunday.
Fwed! well, you ought to see Fwed's
turnout.
saw it a day or two since in front of
diamond store in the Rue de la Paix.
Since, IN my juvenile hippodrome days,
1 saw the band-wagon of Dan Rice's cir
Gus, have seen nothing in the horse and
vehicle line to compare with FWed's.
The horses are chestnut in color, and
chopped squarely off as to their tails.
In America it is not commonly believed
that you can improve much on natures
arrangement of horses tail; here the
nobility seem to be of another opinion;
Fwed goes with the nobility because
it is easier for him to go back on nature
than it would be to go back on the no.
bility.
The harnesses are of gold trimmed with
leather; as nearly as could reckon, the
bits must have cost as much as John
Baker ever made in two Of his best sea-
sons of mackerel fishing.
The chariot was originally intended for
the use of the nearest relative mourners
at first-c class funerals-you may see one
very much like it almost any afternoon
at Pere la Chaise; Fwed selected it be-
cause it cost more than any other he
could find.
And his funkeys!
I make no manner of doubt they are
the funkeyest flunkeys ever seen in
Paris.
They were raised in England, where
the climate is favorable to the growth of
a breed of f1unkeys, which, as yet, no
other nation has been able to equal.
They wear white coats, white tOp-boots,
and white hats with gold bands; it was
kind of Fwed to adopt that conspicuous
uniform for his associates, as it enables
the tourist to tell which is the 1unkey
and which the American.
The original Baker had no coat of arms
so far as I can gather; if he had such, it
must have been Goldfish rampant, gar
nished with fish-hooks.
Fwed had his coat Of arms on the door
of his chariot, on the winkers of his
horses brides, and on the coat sleeves of
his fiunkeys.
I hardly know how to describe Fwed's
coat of arms.
1t was made to order by a French ar
tist; it represents an animal of some kind,
seemingly cross between mule and q
sea serpent. Fwed had no family motto,
wherefore he got the artist to add one of
his own selection.
The artist was of a conundrum tuIn of
mind, and cut into Fwed's crest, Qu5
Rt?
It would do an American who is really
proud of our republican simplicity a heap
of good to see Fwed gently floating down
Rue de la Paix in company with his fun
keys.
There is thoroughbred air about him
you would never suspect in fishmonger's
son, which I can only explain as they ac-
count for those spotted colts that some
times appear after long line of bays
Fwed takes back.
. Now they pull up; so accustomed are
they to stop there that you could not
scare those horses past that diamond
store with brigade of steam fire-engines;
the small flunkey gathers his drapery and
alights; he strikes an attitude in front OF
the chariot door, opens it and aWakes
Fwed-it always gives FWed ennul to
buy diamonds; FWed fixes his eye-g]ass
and allghts: he drops the glass, but the
faithful f1unkey seizes it, readiusts it,
and Fwed sinks into the arms of the dia-
mond merchant.
Then he buys few diamonds or falls
asleep; if he falls asleep the fiunkey Sc
lects the diamonds, and gently lifts Fwed
into the chariot, and takes this represent
ative American to his hotel.
Alas that my father was not fish
monger-and rich.-AnoesScG9a Register.