The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-11
The Fast Young Man.

There has been so much said about
the fast young lady, that it Is time the
fast young man took his share Of the
blessings (?)
Go where You will, you will see a
specimen of fast Young America. Ride
in the cal or stage, and at the most
fashionable street corner, our fast young
man will get in, and finding the most
comfortable seat, ensconce himself
therein, and then look around to sec if
his appearance has produced the awe be
expected. If fashiOnably dressed
young lady enters, hOwquick he springs
up, at the risk of ripping his trous-
o! / meant tn say pantalOOus, to offer
her q seat. But let 4 poorly dressed
woman get in and he Is very intent on
watching something out of the window,
and, of course, does not see her; while
if hI would always be polite to rich and
poor, old and young, he might some
times have a fortune left him by some
poorly dressed man or woman, as that
seems to be the way most fortunes are
left now-a-day-in the newspapers.
Walk in the street and on every cor
ner, holding up the buildings and lamp
posts, you will see quite a number of the
gents-"fast young menu some smOk-
ing, others making remarks about every
lady that passes by. "What beauty"
"Isn't that q bully girl ?" al think
she's some" These and similar express
siOns may be heard at any time, and ut
tered by respectable young men-they
call themselves.
Go to the theater, and in tue gallery,
and even i'm the Opera-boX you will find
him. He is here, there, and every
where. Now daintily holding his opera
frIo-c la In.,EG arp.tnI fha honaa If h.a
sees any modest, shy-iooking girl, stares
her out of eOunteuance. He is on ia
miliar terms with the actresses and bal
let girls, and even boasts of his intimacy
with them.
After the play is over, he lounges
around town, stopping here and there,
and finally brings up at home about
''fve O'clock in the morning." and
sometimes too glOriously drunk to find
his own room, and at others, "ouly
drunk enough to make me jolly, upon
honor"
He sleeps next morning until nearly
noon, and then after freshly perfuming
his hair brushing his somewhat seedy
/ hat, and giving - somewhat peculiar
/ twist to his new necktie, sallies out to
repeat the performance of the day be-
fore, only varied by attending race
or church now and then.
After while when his landlady be-
comes impatient for her rent, due six
months or so, and when creditors come
thick and fast upon him, he looks
around in search of q wife. BE she
young or old, homely or handsome,
it makes no difference to him, if she has
abundance of the needful cash. 1t Is
not for love he wants her, but to pay his
Wipp pQrriaup and other bills.
He proposes in the latest style. Papa
consents. A rich trousseau is ordered
from Paris, and they are married III
style, in a fashionable church, without
any love-making on his part, and on
her side, she does not care for any
After marriage, he goes his way she
goes hers, and no questions are asket
on either side. He has some one to pay
his bills, and she a husband to redeem
her from the odium of being called al
old maid
After year or two, they disagree
find out their "incompatibility of tenn
per-" and in nine cases out of ten thel
get a divorce; she goes back to papa
and he goes in search of new fields {
conquer, or perhaps, to break some poo
girls heart, and then say, "PoOr thing
really couldn't help it. How can
+ fellow help being good looking" y
wonder that divorces are so frequent
, with such ill-assOrted marriages.
! Such IS a fashionable marriage,
They are well-mated in life;
shes got fool for n husband,
{ He's got a fool for wife.