Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-10-22
FacefR.

A GEORGIA paper recently contained
the following in its society gossip
1.-THE aimable and delicious Miss Pix
1ngton, whose charms of mind and per-
son have turned the heads of our gal
lants, now does her hair in braids, and
pa6ronlzes this paper exclusively in
her personal makeup
AN Irish lass wrote to her lover, beg
glngshlm to send her some money. and
aoos IN the same letter. by way of post
script: am SO ashamed of the re-
quest that l have made in this letter
that sent after the postman TO oct IL
back, but the servant could not over
take him."
CHOW, YOUNG people, said pro-
fessor OF natural history to his class.
"now then, as to hens. A hen has the
capacity of laying just six hundred
eggs, and no more, and she finishes the
job In just five years. Now, what is to
be done with her after that ~ "Cut
her head off and sell her for a spring
chicken - exclaimed an urchin whose
father dealt in poultry.
In a conversation in an Elmira fam
lily recently, the subject of marriages
having been brought up, little girl
said she wouldn't want to marry a
mayor if it was going to make any
trouble. A younger brother, about
five years old, hearing the converse
ton, Immediately broke forth: "Well,
if you wouldn't marry mare, you
could marry a pony, couldn't you?"
ANCIENT PLGRIM-"A fair sir, all
is changed since my time! No peas
in your shoes now; no toll, no rob9
berry, no danger-everything made
easy; in fact, quite pleasant sexcur-
sion.'" Modern Pilgrim-s' mo rob-
berry? no danger? Does it occur to
you, my venerable friend, that our
pilgrimages are made by rail 2"
(Ancient Pilgrim "shuts up. 'O-Punch.
AN Office boy in Boston, during the
absence of his employer at watering
place, hung hideous efigy from the
gas-burner in front of the office door,
it's face hidden by black cap, it's
throat gashed and crimsoned, its belt
an armory of dirks, bludgeons and re
volvers, its hands fourishing sword
and jug of poison, and then, his CHASTITY
work accomplished, advertised for
servant girls to apply at the dimly
lighted room, upon the door of which
they read: "Walk in; back in five
minutes. !"
| AN Ohio clergyman makes report
that he once married couple, and the
man said "Be short be short /" I
said, eyes, can do it in three min
utes." sThats right" he said. I
saw that there was some little dissatis-
faction on the part of the other half.
I said "You don't want to have it too
short 2" "No," she said, ga body
don't want to get herself up so for
nothing
The New Orleans Times gets off the
following busting poetry
Mary had a little lamb,
With which she used to tustle
She snatched the wool all off her back,
And stuffed in-her hustle.
| The lamb soon saw he had been f1eeced.
And in a passion flew ;
BNt Mary got up on her ear,
And stuffed the lamb in, too.
A GOOD story comes from Maine.
Last Thursday the Supreme Court was
engaged in case in which the ledgers
OF both parties were produced in court.
both appearing rather mixed with two
charges in some cases where, appa-
rently there should be but one. One of
the parties was an Irishman, and his
attorney, after the opposing counsel
had made some capital out of the
Irishman's accounts, casually remarked
to Judge Walton, presiding, that the
! Irishman's accounts were at least as
straight as those of the other party.
eyes" coolly replied the Court, sit is
apparent that both kept accounts by
double entry
DoNN PIATT tells the following story
about the great Michlgander, Sena-
tor Chandler: "While making his
grand tour of Europe he encountered
our friend Gen. LIE Fevre, then United
States Consul at Nuremburg. The
conversation turning on bills presented
by landlords, the Senator SAID he could
not complain, His bills, compared to
those he had to pay in Washington,
were reasonable enough. But there
is one thing that puzzles me, he con-
tinued, wherever I go, if but for enc
night, [ am charged with buggy.
Now, the charge is low enough if I
ever had the buggy, but [ haven't seen
buggy since [ left the States. Our
Consul was bothered. He asked to-
look at the bill, and found the learned
Senator had mistaken the French word
Ebougie "a candle) for the honest
American one. buggy"
Something Lighter than Air.
A rather astonishing bit of chemical