Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1873-09-13
Th. Reason Why.

do anything great Calico is bapefal
institution. a pair of sweet lips,a slim
waist and the pressure OF delicate
hand,w do as much to unhinge man
as the measles and the doctors bill to
boot"
What pitiful things we old bachelors
are, to be sure. We pity almost every
body who is contented and happy. We
have an especial pride of sense and sat,
| isfaction at our own misery, uselessness
and loneliness, and yet no class of indi-
yiduals dreams more and imagines more
about the loveliness and beauty of calico
with woman in itl than we do.
A pretty woman is about the last
thing bachelor thinks of when he
closes his drowsy eyes; she is the bright
est topic of his dreams. and the first
thing to which his waking thoughts are
diverted. while he is shivering in his
solitary bed with his teeth rattling like
the bones OF the end man in minstrel
company" at the bare prospect of dress
ing in cold room. If he erowls at his
hard lot under such a combination of
circumstances. he should be pitied rath-
er than censured, but if he pronounccs
calico humbug, he knows he doesn't
speak the truth; if he talks in depreca-
tory manner of sweet lips, 4 slender
waist. and the pressure of delicate
hand he is perfectly conscious that he Is
making assertions thathe doesnt believe.
Measles, doctors bills, boots, DC.
Nonsense. A bachelor never knows
what these Affections are until they at
tack him in the upper story OF somo
cherries boarding house, when, in his
illness. he knows no care but the un
comfortable ministrations of landlady,
ANYTHING but loyeable, and the semi
daily visit of the freckle-faced chamber
maid that brings himh his burnt porridgc.
| do not know that ever met IN old
bachelor whom l could persuade myself
was really happy. We are all OF us a
sorry looking lot Of beings with little
to love but ourselves which are really
the least lovely of all our possessions.
There are two sides to every question,
and for every neglected duty man can
invent a palliating excuse. The great
reason why there are so many ola bach
elors in the world is the fact that they
cannot well afford to marry. 1t calico,
a pair of sweet lips, slender.walst, and
the pressure of a delicate hand, were
all man acquired in marrying; if tho
woman of his choice possessed no IN
trinsic worth beyond these mere physi-
cal attractions that please the eye rather
than the heart; if she had no loneliness
of soul and character as well as beauty
of form and face, possibly our anthem
edic,ino brother would be Just in his
condemnation of calico, when he asserts
that il will do more TO unhinge man
than "measlcs or doctors bills The
great truth is, and the great impression
that single men have of women is, that
she considers marriage as merely re-
lease from parental restraints and a con.
dition that he will give her plenty of
means for gratifying her extravagant
taste in dress and in living. This is re-
ally why there are so many old maids
in the world and 80 many old bachelors
that are afraid Of them. a man lives
and dies bachelor, not because he IN
tends or wishes, at heart, to be one, but
he fears to assume the responsibility OF
supporting wife and the possibilities
of a large family. We are all selfish;
we can support ourselves with very lit
tie effort, and We live single until II gets
70 be so much of habit with us that at
last we naturally enough ignore NATL
mony altogether.
But women are not all such useless
creatures as the bachelor imagines. a
woman who truly loves her husband,
and whose interests are identical to his,
will do more TO make n man OF him
than he could by any means accomplish
alone She will 90 with him TO the end
of the world; she will grow 20 his ways
Of thinking and doing: she will comfort
and bless him all along his lifes pil-
primape. So, after all, an old bachelor
is not more than half man, for there IL
really some one some where VINO has
lived apart from him all OF his best years
who might have cheered his life. his
labors and his home, and what pity 1t
is he never found this out before he
grcw to be too old TO appreciate snch
blessing. It would have saved him a
world of care, pains, and social discom-
forts, and he would have less fault to
find in his declining years, with calico,
measles and doctors bills