Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-07
The Garden Hose.


One more bright dream in life has col.
lapsed for US; and another " harp hangs
upon the willow" Only this isn't u harp
but hosea garden hose. We INDUCED
in sweet visions early in Spring, with re-.
ference to keeping ~the grounds" irriga.
ted with our own apparatus. "Lot drought
come" we triumphantly exclaimed. 1--WE
shall hose every flower that thursteth."
We sodded quite extensively for us, and
reserved certain selected pots for floral
display-then we bought the hose. We
found launching the institution attended
with mechanical difficulty. Several expe-
ditions had to be made BY express to
change the hose to fit our faucets. Then
the plumber had to come and alter the
faucets to Fit the hose. In these expert.
mental moments we had occasion to study
the immense squirting capacity Of water
not properly regulated. Iii astonishing
how soon you can deluge the kitchen, and
what aptitude there is for getting hit in
tho eye, and I'LL over your clothes, by
Maynard leaks from machine. Sci
ence triumphed at last, and the hose
worked to q charm. 1t was as tight rs u
drum-head, and played magnlicently, and
we opened vigorous sprinkling cam.
taign. Two things we ascertained early,
that the feminine head of the family con.
sidered it her prerogative to superintend
the watering business, and getting wet
was foreordained part Of the transaction.
No matter how well your hose is jointed,
you will be drenched in tho operation
this is a matter of the "higher law"
From the bay window we receive OUT
orders-"don's play 50 hard on the ver-
benas;; "put more water On the vines :"
"why don't you soak tho grass ~ "why
on earth do you wet the paths ?" Finding
that we were not likely to do this thing
right anyhow, and being u little tired Of
playing second fiddie,O we retired from
active operation for few days and let
the boys take q hand ut it. If you want to
destroy the serenity of Il neig hhorhood,
the quickest way is to let boy work
garden hose. In thu first place be wants
to water the street, TO the peril of travel
ers, instead of combining bis labors to tho
inside Of the fence. Then all the other
boys within mile seem to know the TACT,
and they swarm like flies around the
youthful representative of rain. Then
struggle commences. The boy Of tho
house lets bis companions have it in the
face; they rotaliate by stamping over the
flowers, and stepping on tho hose to pre-.
vent the flow Of water, and a general row
ensues, only to be suppressed by Madame
in q ma estic state Of indignation, who
finally succeeds iu Dispensing the rebels,
and proudly bears away the insulted in
strument to the back shed. We arc in.
formed, when wo arrive home that all tn
children Of the neighborhood lsft our
premises in condition Of immersion, and
"neyer while she lives is that hose to be
put again in the custody Of boysp When
We undertake to water tho next time, we
are nervously conscious that our efforts
do not meet the expectations of the presid.
ing angel Of the household. She can
stand our incapacity no longer, and comes
out in q rural straw hat, and says: "lst
me show you how to do it; men are go
awkward" She grasps the hose as u
woman is apt to grasp pistol, as though
she was u little afraid it might go of sud.
denly, and the nozzle, having a limp, down.
Ward tendency. fires away very near her
tidy slipper. "Mercyw she utters. and
rcct'tying the range with II quick upward
movement. she takos the lady in white
muslin, ringing tho bell at tho next door,
with Il perfect line shot," Dropping the
hose, she begs pardon in the incest man.
ner, remarking that MIR. has been
using the hose and that it behaves shame.
fully" We sneak into tho house, with a
weight on our minds, and ut night we
dream that for some terrible offence we
have been sentenced to sprinkle the Desert
Of Sahara with u garden hose. Suffering
under the scorching rays Of u tropical
sun, and alarmed at the appearance Of
Arabs and bowling dervishes that dance
around us, at the sight of water we
shrek in our midnight agony. We arc
awakened from our nightmare to be i'll
formed 81 that VIC rade fuss and trouble
enough during the day not to make tho
night hideous." Any one wishing to pro-
cure Il first class garden hose, in perfect
workinging order can buy one cheap of
us, ON condition, they will exercise it in
another country.-A1er Dinner.
Reunion II the Fillmore Family.
A reunion Of the Fillmore family was
held ut the residence of Calvin 4 Fill
more, in the township of Scio, Mich,
on the 10th inst. OF the family five
are now living and wcro present, viz:
Olive A. Johnson, aged seycnty-livc
years, living in Scio; Willard Fillmore,
aged seventy-three years, residing in
Buffalo, New York Cyrus Fillmore,
aged seventy-one, living ut OrIand,
Ind; Calvin L. Fillmore, aged sixty
three years, and Julia Harris, aged
si1ty-onc years. recently from Califor.
MIA. The ladies are both widows, and
oil have families. The Ann Arbor Reg.
lister says all were IN good health, hale
and hearty, and to all appearances bade
fair to yet see many years OF enjoyment
anu happiness. Besides the above
there were present eight or ten others,
and the gathering rs a family aroun,
the festive board WAS an OCCASION 81
JOY and happiness, not wholly I'M
mingled with sad memories.
CoLoKAD" TEKElronY is big enough
to make thirteen! states as large u
| Massachusetts,