Elizabeth daily monitor. [volume] (Elizabeth, N.J.) 1868-1880, 1873-11-05

The Danbury News Mans almanac
says There are very few men who do
not remember, or cannot recall, the i'm
portance the almanac enjoyed in his
boyhood's home. / remember it used
to hang by string to the kitchen wall /;
and the member OF the family who took
it down for reference, was required to
hang it up again when through with it.
1t was generally a medical almanac,
with yellow cover-and a very bright
looking cover it was that winter but by
the next winter the corners of the cover
were rolled up, or gone, and there were
conveniencies for telling pretty accur-
ately how many flies had enjoyed its re-
tirement.
Over the leaf was picture of man
clothed in the fantastic garb of q South
Sea Islander, with q trap door in his
abdomen, and cockroaches and scales
and other appliances of the grocery
business around him.
Then there was the calendar, where
the weather was handled, and where
drunken looking moons, and improha
bic tides were made to go through per-
formances that were intensely edifying
to the family.
Interspersed were dramatically con-
structed letters from ungrammatical peo-
pie located in unheard of towns in the
distant West, who had been raised from
the grave by pills, or drawn from etern-
lty by plasters, and having no further
need of either, send on and order ton
OF both. Also Endorsements from well
known physicians in unknown localities,
the whole set off with receipts for max
ing buildings that no one should eat,
and cake that no one would dare to.
And when receipt for either was hedg-
ed in by the details of fever sore on
one side, and the graphic particulars of
hemorrhage on the other, the SYM
metry of the whole was undeniable
When | was boy lived one winter
with my uncle and aunt, and they did
not keep their almanac hung up. Aunt
never cared to look at an almanac any
way, so my uncle took care of it. He
kept it in a drawer, where he did his
shaving apparatus, and odd hinges, and
nails, and coverless novel, and two
equally decrepit song books. That
drawer was museum. 1t was the fam.
/ lily drawer, and the receptacle OF every
thing handy. l don't really believe
either my aunt or uncle or the kitchen
stove had ever been in that drawer but
about everything else had. There was
hank Of black thread in among the
contents, or, to be more exact, the con-
tents were in among that thread, and
whenever anything was taken out, that
thread had to be consulted.
Sometimes the drawer would come all
the way out, and very unexpectedly,
and nearly bury my uncle in the CON
tents. He was not profane man, and
so he did not swear. He merely OBJ
served that it was a sealed book to him
why woman never had any system,
and then left me to pick up the things,
and continue the argument. He had
three or four years almanacs in the
drawer, and when he went to consult
about the weather, he was just rs likely
to pore over three year old almanac as
the current number. Not that it made
| any particular difference, only there
was always something especially in
structive to me to see him looking over
the wrong almanac, and deducing what
appeared to be of great comfort to him.
But then, you have had just such ex-
+ periences yourself, and there is no need
n of dwelling upon them.