The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-12-13
VARIETY.

SIcNHIcANT.-It is significant that - to adyer-
Jise - rhymes with % to realize
10 MAKE MOSEY.-A colporteur in Kansas was
told that - this ere region amt much on Bibles,
but if you want to make money bring US out
load Of shOt-guns.
DOESN'T Sea good hearted but partially
deaf old lady is much disturbed by the talk about
the KickapoO Indians. She does not sec why
anybody should kick poor Indian.
The bashfuI editor of n Missouri paper pro-
posed to his beloved through the columns of his
paper in this form .. There is certain girl in
this town who carry our smoke-hOuse keys
for life, if she'll only say the word.
a sen captain, invited TO meet the committee
If q society for the evangelizatiOn of Africa,
when asked, - DO the subjects of King Dahomey
keep Sunday - replied, - Yes, and everything
else they can lay their hands on
The ReUsiAe tells the following good one Two
diminutive specimens of Young America had
little aare-up last evening and in the course of
their examinations and recriminations were heard
to get off the following: Sc Ball. says Number
One, 90 Mr.. Jones is going to be your father.
Yes replied Number Two, land if Mr.
johnson hadn't backed out he'd bin yours.
BEGGED PARDoN.-The other day at a concert,
4 gentleman having put his hat upon chair to
keep n place, returned to claim 1T after short
absence The hat he found sure enough where
It had been lett, only IneTc WIS u slOuI Lduy
sitting on it. - Madam said he, ' you are
sitting on my hat The lady blushed a little,
turned round and said, in the blandest manner,
20, beg pardon I'm sure thought 1t was
my husband's-'
INCREASED HIS SALARY.-The reporter of n
Nashville paper who, mentioning young lady's
decsase touchingly alluded to her as ' one of the
brightest Jewels that ever glttered in the diadem
of an earthly home one of the purest stars that
-o- .laor,ad ,,ron the frontet Of our social sky
one Of the sweetest flowers that ever bloomed in
the garden. OF earliest association has had his
salary increased to four dollars month, half
cash and the balance in cordwoCd.
Those of our readers acquainted on Monson
street will remember that the roof to Mr.. For
eeEs' saloon adioins his house, and is approached
sF two windows. One of these windows is in
Mr. Forceps' bedroom. On this roof Mrs. For
Gems has spread hesitating tomatoes with view
to Fastening their ripeness. Last "Wednesday
she put five more with their fellows, making
thirty in ALL
The Forceps have neice visiting them-a
Young lady named Hall, of Thomaston. She has
made the acquaintance Of many of our young
reouIe. and on Wednesday night several of them
got together to give her a serenade. Providing
themselves with requisite instruments, the young
men took up n position near this addition We
speak of, and struck up on the instruments.
Mrs Forceps was first awakened by the music,
a.
music was grand-not loud or coarse, but soft,
low and harmonious Mr.. FOrceps was very
much pleased, and got up to the window to hear
II Then Mrs Forceps got up also, and, relying
her nightcap, stood beside FoTceps. They're
serenading Ellen" said she; Z" L know II, said
Forceps = Who can they be?'' she asked. 81
don't know I'm sure said he, - but suppose
I could find out If 1 could creep out on the roof
and look over Why don't you?' said she,
her curiosity increasing - I'm afraid they might
see me- he said - [ don't think they would, -
she said They wouldn't be looking up on the
roof, would they?
Mr. FOrceps thought 4 moment, and then con-
cluded no one could see him, as the moon had
zone into a bank Of clouds, and objects were
quite dim And then he softly opened the blind
and cautiously crawled out on the shingles, COM
pletely encased in red flannel material. The
music still continued, coming up through the
light air IN waves of ecstatic harmony. Mr.
FOreeps sat down on the roof and laboriously
worked his way TO the caves. Then he lifted
himself up to turn over and look down, and Just
then he stepped something soft and yielding,
felt his feet give, made desperate clutch at the
shingles, was too late, gave n piercing shrek,
and shot of the roof and went revolving and
bowling in among the band, followed by the
tomatoes and madly cleaving the air with his red
flannel limbs He struck on his back on the bass
VOL, and with one leg tore the entrails from an
accordeon and with the other knocked all the
KEYS from a siITer-mounted flute. The man who
PLAYED the bass VOL was driven senseIess into
pile of pea brush, and the flute player, with his
mouth full of blood and splinters, jumped over
the feEce and fed.
What became of the others Mr.. Forceps does
not know, he being too busily engaged in getting
on his feet and into the house to make a critical
examination of the field. 1t Is presumed the bass
giOl man died On the spot, and was surreptiously
removed and buried by his companions, as there
r. Oh fhe afcac in he