The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-07-30
SPRING HATS.
How the Average Woman Constructs
Her Head-Gear---A Very Literal Pic
ture---W0men rs an Organizer Of
Spring Hats.

I HOW the Average " HOIuaH OUHStFPCts
Her Head-Gear---A Very Literal Pic
ture---Women rs an Organizer Of
Spring Hats.
4 woman who is considering the
matter of her spring hat is an inter
esting subject for contemplation.
First. she buys a straw frame that
looks as if it had been struck by
hurricane and then sat down on by
an entire coroners jury. After that
when she rides IN q street-car, she
drinks in the details of every spring
a6that enters, and learns them all
by heart, and does mental SIMS
over the cost Of the ribbon. and
makes up her mind to have flowers
in hers like those worn by the wo-
man in the corner, and lace like
that gaudy looking creature in Che
middle. And when she walks down
the street and studies all the hats
that come along, and when a woman
passes her with one on she twists
her neck right around to see how
it looks behind, and is disgusted to
see that the woman is also disloca-
ting herneck to see now she trims her
hat. When she arrives in front of a
millinery store she fingers until she
has analyzed all the spring hats
in the window, and she determines
to trim hers nineteen different ways
and decides not to have flowers like
the woman in the corner
Then she shoots into the storo,
and asks to ''see hats" with the air
Of person who has whole female
seminary to rig out with an eighty
dollar head-gear. She examines
every hat in the establishment, over
hauls ten bushels of flowers, gets
about twenty dollars worth of work
out of the saleswoman, and then
says she will ''look further" Then
she goes home with her mind fixed
on thirty-eight or nine different styles
in which she wants to trim her hat.
After while she begins to think
she ought to have feather in it,
and she passes two or three sleep
less nights trying to decide whether
to put one on or not.
At last she resolves she will
Then she lies awake for two more
nights endeavoring to determine
whether it shall be red or blue
She buys the trimming and sews it
on in seventy successive positions,
her mind filed with deepest anxiety
as to whether the feather should 90
on the right side, but just then Mrs
Brown passes the window with a
feather on the left side Of hers,
and so she changes it. The next
morning Mrs. Furguson calls, and
her feather is on the right side, and
then another change is made. At
church the next day, Mrs. Smith
has feathers on both sides, and Mrs.
johnson has one on top. Then more
sleepless nights and more painful
uncertainty. At last in utter despair,
she takes the hat to a milliner and
pays ten dollars to have it trimmed.
When it comes home she pronounces
it hateful, and picks it all to
pieces and broods over it, and wor-
ries and frets, and Iooses her appe-
tite, and feels life to be a burden
for two weeks longer, until suddenly
she hits just the right thing, and
becomes one morce serene and hap
py, and puts the hat on and goes out,
and makes millions of other women
miserable because their hats are not
trimmed exactly like hers. AS a
wife, woman is a blessing; as a
mother, she is an inestimable boon;
as an organizer of spring hats. she
is simply an object of compassion.