Richland beacon., 1873-10-11
The Shoemaker and Corn Doctor.

How Each Play into the Others Hands.
Most men who have reached the wears
OF discretion have learned, what all men
are apt, sooner or later to learn, that the
shoemaker, though useful and even
an indispensable member of society, is
difficult person to deal witllal. Your
tailor, your furnisher and your barber,
though too often warped by narrow
professional prejudice, are still not al
together unmanageable. Your tailor,
if your neither extremities De small or un-
shapely, may be induced by proper
exercise of tact to cut your neither gar
ments by the zouave pattern, albeit the
edict of fashion should decree that
nothing but tights be worn. Your bar
ber will accommodatingly part your
hair near the middle or well to the side
provided yo succeed in indicating to
him the locality in which the part shall
be placed. If you insist upon it he
will refrain from the too lavish use of
the pOmatum stick, provided yOu can
give good and valid reasons for object
ing to that cosmetic. If you resist with
some firmness he will not force you to
permit the operation of hair cutting and
shampooning when you wished to be
shaved quickly and if you refuse alb
solutely to pay for his costly prepara-
tions for promoting the growth of the
hair you may perhaps escape their ap-
plication. But the shoemaker is made
of sterner stuff Much intercourse with
wax and flax ard leather has made him
resolute and pertinacious. 1t is useless
to suggest that you would like loose
fit if he prefer to give you tight one
and even as he makes the shoe so must
it be worn. And great is the exaspera-
ton which results from the unvieiding
disposition of the shoemaker. For the
person who likes a shoe at once neat
and comfortable is by the shoemaker
contemptnously styled dandy, and is
accordingly harassed by the shoemaker,
who is neither himself dandy nor a
sympathizer with dandies. One of these
persons besought this shoemaker
for neat boot, but the shoemaker would
give him no boot not suited for a gouty
person. A tight boot was then ordered,
put the same gouty boot was produced
in response. The alleged dandy, in de-
spair, then foolishly ordered an exceed
ingly tight boot. If, said he, the boot
be not so tight that l cannot get my
foot into it, l will not take it. The
shoemaker iOyfully took him at his
word, and for once in his wretched life
complied literally with an order. The
wretched man resignedly paid the shoe
maker his price, and went sorrOwing
away in the gouty boots previously
made for him. There are certain in
conveniences which result from wear
ing certain kinds of shoes, and people
who, having suffered have consulted
authority on the subject, know that GER
tain epidermous fungi, vulgarly known
as corns, are apt to result from the pres
sure of tight shoe or from the fric-
ton of loose one. Such persons, if
prudent will call upon their man of
leather for a snug fit. The man of leath-
er with much care and consulta-
ton, measures his prudent customer
and promises to make snug fit. He |
has wonderously fine appreciation of
how a comfortable shoe should be made, |
as he has unlimited admiration for the |
man who is no dandy, and who scorns
the vanity of tight boots. But the
snug fit turns out anything but snug or
comfortable. 1t pinches favorite corn
and promises to produce other corns
which may in time become favorites.
1t is as much too tight in one place as
it is too loose in another; but there is
no more mercy for the lover of COM
fort than for the dandy. He may re-
monstrate that the shoe dses not fit |; |
but the shoemaker standing by, with
sleeves rolled up and hammer in hand,
asserts that it does. And the timid man
assents. He goes into the street and is
accOsted with "shine sir?" from the |
ubiquitous boOt-black, who rubs with |
all his might where the leather is tight
est and the corn is tenderest. He BIAS
phemously wonders why God made |
shoemakers, not thinking, in his rage,
that God made shoemakers in order |
that they might in turn make shoes.
The victim of the shoemaker is perhaps |
no sooner released from the bOotblack |
than he meets a peripatetic advertise |
ment limping along, encased in pano-
ply of pasteboard, capped with a he'll
met, and bearing aloft the modern
alarum. The peripatetic treads upon
the victims cOrns, and the victim for
the first time learns that the peripate.
tic is abroad to advertise the skill of
the celebrated DR. Cliptoe, chirOpodist.
DR.. Cliptoe promises, through the per-
ipatetic, that he will remove corns for
Sne small sum of s. each, or perhaps
for lesser sum. But the corn doctor
finds five corns where the victim of the
thought he had but one.
His purse is accordingly lighter by
sum five times as great as he expected
to part with. After removing the corns,
DR.. Cliptoe orders that the boot be cut
wherever it pinches. The shoemaker
and corn doctor are partners in busi-
y World.
PHENOMENA OF THB BRAIN.-One of
the most inconceivable things in the
nature of the brain is that, although
the organ of sensation, it should itself
be insensibIe. To cut the brain gives
no pain yet in the brain resides the
power of feeling pain in any part of
the body. If the nerve which leads to
it from the injured part be divided, we
become instantly unconcious of suffer-
ing. It is only by communication with
the brain that any kind of sensation is
produced yet the organ is itself insen-
sible. But there is a circumstance more
wonderful still. A certain portion of
the brain itself may be removed with
out destroying life. The animal lives
and performs all those functions which
are necessary to simple vitality, but it has
no longer amind. Itcannot think or feel.
II requires that the food should be
pushed into it's stomach once there it
Ia dipested and the animal will even