The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-11-01
Humorous Items.

he marrles second.
LADIES who light up well at night
Those who have lantern jaws.
A KNIGHT ERRANT-Going Tor the
doctor.
Glow | prize you, my dear. saln
the jimmy to the safe door.
ANALYSIS is the death OF sentiment.
&C ID. Warner.
WHEN Time shall hang up his scythe
he Will be no mower.
AN angry man opens his mouth and
shuts up his eyes.-Cnto.
DIR. JOHNSON defines a ship as prls-
OH with q chance of being drowned.
MUsr a doctor have license to am
putate q game leg!
AMERICA is fortunate country. She
grows by the follies of our European
nations. -NapoteOn.
The creditors of an absconded banker
found, on opening his safe, that the
only thing he had laid up for rainy
dag was an umbrella.
Upon the marriage OF Mrs. Wheat, of
Virginia, the editor hopes that her
path may be hOury, and that she may
never be thrashed by her husband.
A PRUDENT gentleman, unwilling to
accuse a neighbor of lying, said he
used the truth with penurious frugal
itY.
4 GOOD HEARTED but partially deaf
old lady is much disturbed by the talk
about the Kickapoo Indians. She
doesn't see why any body should kick
poor Indian.
NJ. THEIRS has not altogether been
forgotten The Give Milliards Pol
ka is the name of a patriotic etfusion
dedicated to him. 1t is said to be
spirited, and IS selling very rapidly.
THE man who wanted to take
another person apart when he had
something to say to him, lately asked
for the private ear of "a friend, and
was told that privateering was illegal.
1t is reported that silver mines,
yielding 80 per cent. ii pure silver,
nave been discovered near Copiapo, In
Chill. The fortune hunters are focking
thither in large numbers.
A GAY winter in Florence is predict
ed. The demand Tor rooms is large
and increasing. The English and
American elements will be unusually
large. Receptions at the residence of
the United States Consul will be resum-
ed next month.
A SEA captain, invited to meet the
committee of society for the evangel-
ization of Africa, when asked: do
the subjects of the King of Dahomey
keep Sunday 2" replied; " Yes, and
every thing else they can lay their
hands on
A CHINAMAN came down one of the
main streets of Millerton, Cal, on cleo
ton day, in state of inebriation and
of joyful exaltation, and thus delivered
himself; Hoop la me all same
Mclean man. Hair cut short and
dunk like HI. Hoop la !"
A PENNSYLVANIA CLERGYMAN has
made good hit by introducing "per-
sonals" in his prayers. For instance:
Lord have mercy on John Shanahan,
who keeps a saloon near the old red
bridge. Either lay him on a. bed of
sickness or have him removed from
this town.
A SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher, explaining
the first chapter of Genesis, asked:
g Why did Goo command them to leave
the fruit of one tree untouched p A
dead silence. At last little girl spoke
up and said; "Please, marin. think
he wanted them to leave some for ma4-
ners."
An inscription on a mural tablet,
recently put up in a rural church, is
It ends
He was neglected by his doctor.
Treated cruel by his nurse.
His brother robbed his widow:
That makes the matter worse.
MOURNING CHILD (reading about the
Graphic balloon)-" Father, what does
mean?" Gruff Father
rusty IN his Latin)-" Transatlantic.
you simpleton, means, across the At
antic ocean; trans means across
Child Mother, does transparent
mean q cross parent, like father2"
scene closes with the boy across his
parents knee.
The other day a Dublin tutor who
had repeatedly to reprimand youth
for inability to find an article If it was
the least ont of its usual position, came
put In a passion with the following:
II suppose if you found your head not
Oh IN Its usual place some day, YOU
wouldn't know where to go and look
for it.
NINE B., of Paris, quarrelled at
breakfast with NJ. G., her cher ami,
because the latter refused to give her
900 francs, wherewith to paw her
She remarked that he
would never see her alive again. M.
j. laughed, shrugged his shoulders,
and went down stairs into the street.
As he reached the sidewalk he heard a
rush, and then something dropped be-
side him heavily. He looked down
and saw at bis feet the crushed BODY
body of Nine. B., who had thrown her
'elfo out Of the third story window.
" WHAT'S in name 2" A good deal
At times. The daughter of Dor Carlos
he pretender to the throne Of Spain.
.or instance, has plenty in hers. which
according to a contemporary, is, in
french, Blanche-d de- Castillo Marie-de-
a-Conception- Therese- Francoise-d' AS
'lse- Marguerite-J Jeanne Beatrice Char
otte-Louise Fernando Adelgonde FL
'1re, udefonse Regime Josephine Mi
'helie Gabrielle Raphaelle. These
constitute the young lady's Christian
lame only, and when her titles are adj
led there Is probably a dozen lines or
10 more If ia tn bn bono1 Ill Al