Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1873-06-12
WASHINGTON CLERKS.
The simple Questions They are Re.
CURED to Answer Before Re-
ceiVing Their Ap-
pOimLnentSs

ceiving Their Ap-
pOinLments.
Give the year, month, day, hour
and minute of your birth. to the besI
of your knowledge and belief
Were you born before Sumter was
fired on, or after the black bird of wal
had ceased to flap its dark pinions
over our beloved land?
Do you believe in Darwinism? II
so, how many of your ancestors do
you think you would be compelled to
dig up before you found an extra
length of spine?
Fill out the following sentence from
Shakespeare: He was gentleman,
| scholar, and - -."
When is the best time to trim corns
Is bathing hereditary in your fam
lily?
Do you differ from Webster in your
style of spelling? If so, in what
words?
When did New Jersey secele from
the Union?
At the present rate of punishing
crime, how long will it be before muir
derers are pensioned?
What was the number of acres in
Rhode Island when first discovered =?
Do your shirts open in front OF be-
hind?
What was the name of the son of
Austerlitz. and did the old man have
any daughters
Who was Secretary of the Navy
while the Erie Canal was being built !?
In what part of Zell's Encyclopaedia
are the following lines to be found ::
I'VE hold these truths to be self evi-
dent, that man.is possessed of. three
inalienable rights namely, a wife,
lager beer, and the pursuit of horse
thieves p
Do any members of your family
make any pretensions toward keeping
Lent, save your umbrella and brass
kettle?
Who was commander in chief of the
army of the United States when Ser
geant Bates made his raid through
England !?
In your Judgment which should pre-
vail, the bias of jurisdiction or com
pulsory hanging, when the jury are
ICl1l DOl al A+lOlLS
Are you well posted in vulgar frac-
tions, and polite literature of the day !?
Is there any sentiment in the human
heart more tender than the bosom of
dollar store shirt?
What is the length of the Chicago
River, and how far from its mouth
is it navigable for light draught ducks :?
Did the Smiths come to America
before the Browns, and if so, why?
In what year was the Colorado
potato bug patented ?
Should lightning rod peddlers be
allowed to vote until after death
What is a counterfeit fifty cent scrip
worth in beer saloon where the bar
tender is intoxi sated, and with gold
at 1.183?
Who was the fruit-dealer who first
cried, Hang out your bananas on the
outer walls, the cry is give us rum p"
Square Cincinnati hogs root, by
taking a segment from the circle of
bis tail and adding it to the diameter
of his nose.
Are you in favor of ''local option -
as applied to sparkling on the gate OF
your prospective father in law?
What American General was the
first to plant a whisky cocktail on the
ramparts of bis throat, after the battle
OF Bull Run, and the capture of Wash
ington by the union forces
Under what circumstances would
you suspend the ha6eas corpus act,
IN order to string up a milk peddler :?
To what official do you apply for
passports to visit Hobeken, N. j.?
Give the names of six of the wealth
lest horse doctors in the country since
the eplzootic gave US a whirl
AT which end of chicken pie do
you commence an attack?
Do you perspire freely while cary
ing before large dinner party
Does it take any more cloth to dress
the Goddess Of Liberty in fashionable
attire than it does to rig out Hail Co
lnmbla so that the Washington So
ciety papers will notice her?
OF the several hundred chests of
money, and valises of cheap jewelry
which Captain Kidd planted on the
Atlantic coast, did you or your rela-
tIYes ever get smell?
w hlch is the greatest female char
acter In history-Joan ofArc or Lydia
Thompson?
Stand on your head and repeat the
multiplication table backwards, at the
same time give the "Heathen Chinee"
in Latin, and sing, 1--WE may be happy
yet" -
This comprises the most important
questions in the list. We have omit
ted few pertaining to mathematics
and grammar, but the above will con
vIey to the minds of young men who
desire governmental positions, some
idea of what they must undergo pre-
viously.-Krchange.
AdoIphus Gnmn never told bis