The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-09-05
The FAMILY Letter.

The family letter is written on Sun
days. The reason that day is selected
is not alone because OF the leisure ii
presents. The quiet of the day, its re-
lief from all influences that irritate or
agitate, frees the mind from irrelevant
and antagonistic matter, and makes it
prominently a fit occasion for COM
muning with distant loved ones. In
nine cases out of ten the letter is writ
ten by the head of the family, and of
those sent an equal proportion are adj
dressed to his wife's folks. We don't
know why it is that man 30 rarely
writes to his own folks, but as it is not
the province of this article to treat on
that subject, we will pretend We don't
care. The hour being selected for in
diting the letter the first thing is to
find the paper. There is always a
drawer in every well-regulated family
for keeping such things. 1t is either in
the table or stand. Here the writing
paper and odd screws, and fiddle strings,
aud broken locks, and fish lines, and
grocery receipts are kept. There may
be other things, but if there are, he
will see them. The sheet of paper is
finally found, the fly stains neatly
scraped off, and the search commences
for the ink and pen. The former is
invariably found on the mantel near to
the clock, and is Immediately laid on
the table convenient to the perspiring
man who sarcastically inquiries If the
letter is to be written to-day or next
Sunday. This inspires the wife with
new zeal in the search. She goes over
the drawer again because she knows
he wouldn't see anything If it was right
under his nose, but the pen is not there.
Then she looks over the top OF the
bureau, and lifts everything on the
front room table, and says it seems so
singular it can't be found, when she
saw it only the day before, and thought
about the letter. Then she goes into
the pantry, and after exploring the
lower shelf in vain, stands upon chair,
and carefully goes over the top shelf
where the medicine bottles and unused
cans are stationed. After she has doue
this, she starts up stairs, and pretty
soon returns with the pen, and takes it
to the sink to wash the grease from 1t,
but does not succeed in quite effacing
the delicate scent of bergamot. This
leads him TO observe that anybody who
takes a pen-holder to lift hair grease
from bottle is too pure md innocent
for this world. Every thing now in
readiness, good humor is restored, the
wife takes seat opposite with her
elbows on the table, and her chin III
her hands, and assumes an expression
of countenance that is mysteriously cal
culated to both encourage and de-
press the writer and he grasps the pen
tightly between his fingers, and stares
at the paper with an intensity that is en-
tirely unnecessary. The date line starts
off glibly, and then Suddenly ceases as
it reaches the date itself. He puts the
holder in his month, and Immediately
spits it out again, making up face
that is no wise suggestive OF bergamot,
and pettishly asks her if she knows the
day of the month. OF course she does.
1t is the 13th-or is it the--but not
must be. She hesitates, stares at him,
wayers. and is lost. She don't know
whether 1t is the 18th or 18th, but the
almanac will tell, and she at once starts
to hunt it mp. This occasions delay
of some fifteen minutes, during which
he makes ninety-five passes Mt one fly.
The date having been satisfactorily set
tied upon, and the things which rolled
over the floor, as that stand drawer un'
expectedly fell out, having been restored
to their place, the date line is started
and Dear Mother" started, The per
is a home pen, of bashful mold, anG
whenever it starts line it requires
half dozen passes to make it give down
All home pens do this. And all home
sheets of paper have weak spots which
the ink refuses to cross, thus creating
some remarkable divisions of words
and considerable confusion among sen
fences. Some of these spots are two
inches in diameter, end anybody in the
next room can tell the moment the
writer comes to them, ust as well as i
he was looking over his shoulder. Whe1
the letter is completed, which generally
occurs at the end of the fifth hour from
the commencement, it is carefully reat
over, and supplied with absent words
and then gone over again and artisticall.
touched up with the pen at the bare
places. Then it is folded up ready fo
the envelope, and the discovery is made
that there is no envelope in the house
and the letter is tucked in behind thu
clock until the want is supplied. Dan
blyU Ne,Us