Beaufort Republican. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1871-1873, 1873-09-11
Our Subject Being Flies.

Flies - considered individually, the
subject is small, but it is very numerous.
In fact, of all small creatures not abso-
lutely vicious, the common fly is the
most vexatious. Mosquitoes bite-they
must, to get their living bees sting
to defend themselves; cockroaches run
away when you attack them-they are
afraid; but flies nibble upon you in an
aggravating manner, never getting
enough, and nothing will drive them
away: they return with ferc, persist
ency after cruel and constant rebuffs.
You commence to read your newspaper
in comfortable armchair, or to write,
for the sake of friendship, fame, or
daily bread, at your desk. In the mid
die of the first sentence soft footsteps
begin to tickle the top Of your left ear.
You shake your head emphatically,
without lifting your pen. The intruder
flies off few inches, and re-alights on
the back of your neck. Another shake,
and again he settles on the top OF your
head, and begins to promenade up and
down. the parting of your hair. You
give your head q vigorous slap, never
by any chance hitting the fly. He Is
equally content to crawl over your fore
head, and You meekly brush him away,
hoping that gentle measures may prove
effectual. he tries your right ear, aud
with calm resolution you wave him
away. The creature sees his advantage,
and audaciously alights on your nose.
Resolved to keep your temper, you
think you will let him take his own
time to leave, hoping it will be soon,
and forever. He pecks with gentle but
restless persistence, and you write vigor-
ously, resolute not to be disturbed by
trifes. Suddenly down goes your pen,
making an ugly blot on the fair sheet,
and you employ both hands in giving
your nasal organ good rubbing. Pa
tience, as in o moment, is exhausted.
You mediate murder; you plan it de-
iberately-murder in the first degree:
You lean back in your chair, and set
yourself as trap. The bait is good ;
the expected victim approaches you
wait breathlessly; your hand falls with
a blow that makes your cheek tingle-
but you look up to see him securely
fluttering above your head, ready to try
again. You will be more cautious and
give your mind to the business. You
take your handkerchief, double it
judiciously, and hold it ready to de-
scend with swift vengeance. The fellow
is on your left hand-such little
creature to disturb your equanimity
Slowly, slowly, and you will get him !
With sudden and tremendous force you
pounce upon him-and he sails away
unharmed You feel most uncomfort-
ably irritated-conquered by an in
significant fly ! And you reflect lwhlle
brushing away the swarm which by
this time, have come to see what is the
matter) upon poisens, medicated tiy-
papers, and all the cunning devices
advertised for enticing flies into the
house with malicious intent. Shall you
provide the neighborhood (of fiies) with
deadly food or submit to be nibbled
alive? That is the question. And you
fall into a mental discussion concerning
the comparative annoyance of dead and
of living flies, in the midst Of which you
drop into what would be q comfortable
doze except for the audacious return OF
the identical fly you have beenfighting,
which lights on the tip of your nose,
and you awake feeling absolutely cross.