The Portland daily press., 1873-10-23
THE PRESS.
THURSDAY MORNING, OCT. 90. 1873
Gossip and Gleanings.

6OSslp ana GleaningS.
"The great American obituary provoker,"
Is the latest for kerosene.
Says the Ohio State Journal: Why Is a
newsboy like cucumber? Because the o,d-
er he grows the more of yeller he'll be-.
At GAINESVILLE, Wis, the authorities protect
ladies from insult by locking them up in the
calaboose until the loafers disperse.
Who would ever have suspected Jay Gould
of a retiring disposition, asks the CONNER
cial Advertiser.
st. Louis highwaymen have become so pai-
tcular that they won't rob man of any
thing less valuable than a stem-winding
watch.
A sry editor, writing 70 delinquent
subscribed requesting him to pay up his back
dues, concluded with, 'If you pay up, you
win oblige NE; if you won't, I'll oblise you."
The elasticity of caoutchouc is peculiar. If
you keep it ezta..s long 1t will not contract
again. So wnna. .ie currency; and this Is just
the elasticity the West Graves.
The list of dogs names registered on the
license books of Detroit shows one hundred
and fitty-four "F;does'' and about the same
number of "Trips."
The "cast Of countenance" Of an English
tragedian at present in Paris is described by
a French critic as that of "Don Quixote
giving away tracts"
1t Is limited that Wlkie Collins illness in
Rochester was caused by some inconsiderate
person having mentioned to him his resem-
blance to the picture ON the fifty-cent notes.
The women of San Francisco say their
prayers more regularly and assiduousy dur
ing the months of September and October
than all the rest of the year put together.
This is the earthquake season in California.
That Troy baby with four teeth in its nose
is nowhere beside Chicago mau, who had
ten teeth N bis nose the other day. They
belonged to another man, too.
A man in blouse-scene Paris, of course
presents bottle OF perfume to his beloved,
saying: "When you smell this you will re-
gret that your Creator did not make you all
nose.''
Sensational reporting is carried to fine
point in England. A reporter who saw Glad
stone at church says: 1.-THE Premier, who
looked careworn and anxious, entered hearth
ly into the service, and on the singing of the
second hymn, Jerusalem, my happy home.'
appeared to emphasize the words, when
shall my labors have an end%" This last
touch is inimitable.
Paris lady quarreled with her vice hus-
band recently, because he wouldn't give her
1000 francs to pay for dress, and said he
should never see her again. He laughed and
went dowu stairs; but he had hardly reached
the sidewalk before she dropped lifeless at
his feet, having thrown herself from the win
dow. The moral is-however, there isn't
any moral. It's a Paris story.
new use fo- patent pills has been dis
covered. A farmer living in Kansas village
was abruptly visited by robbers one night not
long ago, and having gun and powder, but
no shot, loaded with box of fever pills, and
blazed away. The result was as satisfactory
as though the rascals had swallowed the pills.
One of them was killed outright, and another
dangerously wounded.
The moods and thoughts of are man revolv.
ing just as steadily and necessarily as Natures
Nothing must be postponed; take time by the
forelock, now or never. You mist live in
the present, launch yourself on any wave,
find your eternity in each moment. Fools
stand on their island opportunities, and look
toward another land. There is no other land,
there is no other life but this or the like Of
this. Where the good hushandman is, there
is the good soil. Take any other course, and
life will be succession of regrets,-Ihoreaa
The old Jealousy between Chicago and Mil
waukee crops out now in discussion as to
who went through the panic most credtably.
Chicago says that Milwaukee "shut up shop"
and Milwaukee retorts that Chicagos ''big-
gest bank failed, and three or four others sus-
PENDED" and as parting slap says. "Chicago
is largely kept up by brag and falsehood and
swinding, and without this trinity of evil
she would not be Chicago" Has the Peace
Commission got anything particular to do
just now?
A revengeful traveller on certain railroad
packed carpet bag full of revolvers, and
hanlad II tlots, a,alsr