Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1873-12-03
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sparks and Splinters.

"A clergyman, removing from one city
to another, marked q large box containing
his sermons, Keep dry
What is the difference between an &C.
cepted and rejected lover? One kisses
his misses, and the other misses his kisses.
A man in love is man who wishes to
be more amiublo and agreeable than he can
be, aud this is the reason why almost all
men in love appear ridiculous.
brigham Young says he will leave his
fame to po.terity. But he will leave such
large posterity that it is doubtful If there
will be fame enough to 70 around
A lady asked one Of our gcnilemanly
bookstore clerks, the other day, If he had
" Festus" No." he replied, "but I'm
afraid boil is coming on the back OF my
neck.
jacob Simpson, up in Iowa, is be.
lever in the maxim that practice makes
perfect stweuiy second baby took the
first premium at the Page county baby
show.
When a young hdy gets a letter sh"
carries it in her hand, but couple Of
pounds Of sugar she manages To 'quee1'
into her pocket
The woman who said the latest thing
out was her husband, vas answered by her
neighbor, who remarked that her husband
always came home early-belore any one
was up
An old negro woman was heard to ex-
claim. Thomas Jefferson, you aud james
Madison come into dc house, aud bring Abe
Lincoln along wild you, or I'll reach for
you, Suah
Texas is advancing. A Houston pa
per announces that they have got shet " OF
carpet-baggers and, Notwithstanding, have
elected city council one Of whom can
read and write
-" Where shall put this paper 80 as
to be sure of seeing it tomorrow ?" iu-
qured Mary Jane Of her brother Charles
" ca the ookiug-glass,' was her brother
Charles reply.
"lf George had not blown uto the muzzle
Of his gun" sighed a rural widow at the
funeral Of her husband, he might have got
plenty Of squirrels it was such a good
day for them"
-Thov rer,scd Nellie Rarnard's voto AZ
Worcester, but pleasantly informed her she
could vote early aud often in neghboring
box for receiving contributions for the
Memphis sufferers.
intellioent hotter - in BURLINGTON.
Iowa in scratching the name of Mrs Ha.
gar candidate for school superintendent,
wrote upon his ballot Doant want kno
wummum in Mine"
A., Cros.o maj, v,hc eo,n ,,;,,od en-; .
c;do wrote a note far his wife which said 9.
lnI an, ,o;n, 10 a con,,ry vbore ZOO. headed
,ro,,,on aro no,or soor - Sbo ,yos an mad
that she wouldn't attend the funeral.
A naner callod the b,t,y;or is pub.
ishod +, Sancord k and corrssnonden,
avs that from his k1ovledgo of tbe editor.
no ! onahlod 40 s,,to nnsi,;yelr that ho
wiII throw a greot deal IF snirii into his
L,tsrjoy"
bov ubo UNA c,lled nm hv his
teacher for ,;v;ng schoolmate a blsct eve
pleaded tbsf bo onIv threw a bit or wafer
a. hin Inn, ON hein,y n,esscd in tho cross.
exomin,,;oo he a, 7.lt ad'nittod that the
woter w,s frozen
M. n.-. ~ -
o,;o hoe 80 c'r aha,aJ 80 80 80, ~
J Essev stroet man ~ re,nrn 70 his ron can't
49,, a,,J ~ 49,. ~ II - ;e
NO hrioh,noss oont;nnos 10 incroosa ~ oo,
liz bo,es - haIcsoiod
r D, - ,-. -,
r - rura, eAo"auge uSsorloes looaI
5 event az, as 'oIlUws ne u nus came
l. woro al f.os,od ,ho;r nosos oil ooid. ~
J toot n few orders and III ont Of here with
,Io;r baads G,Il oc Lns;noss ood stins GIl
4 or haor~
"A hauSas man uloPPeu ,i''le uo'o ., 70
ne'snoor "''e' Inviting "er 70 uiee' , nin,
i uuue, Tue Pa,o s'''eI nloou, rue nuspanu
Two doctor hayo Leea NJ wdrt ON tbe
10 Kansas man in whom tbev G,nnd a rich
Iood nine
"A 'o' OF olu i,! ie''els were reoen''y i2uhu 1
oe's S r 'no oe'''ag C u ,no garle' anu 'ns
~. VI u n'u9' ~ u'", r tuu'' '"S' , ""u
ov,u use, as Po','oiiivo' iuoy nau ooeu
r'neu anu oopoo',ou W .uo Pos'ui's'el y'a al,
~ Du' w ; "as lily ,ue go "o' JUS
'''' was '"Pa' ''a'9 l"''' ''D
DT'nus e"u "u a, p5Jn no Vu'ei,I I VIZ
1oaP. oS' y % IT,; ~ ~ y
uei' aau AsNeu wv" ~ w oousu "a
;"e ,'s' .I ~ 'a' uI'y ta'Y p.1 az"
~ Wv ', "o'fi.",; NV. '', sa,u t "SI5
90 WIN u" .%u'o"''.o ~ y, tue '"uu'o Nc
t Po.n:so - ~" '"' 'a''' ''J . '"'' "
D 'N's Vs. '", ~" I''N' ..
5 some fellows complain mat tney don
dream when they put wedding cake under
their pillows; Let them put 1t into their
$ s'ouacnS anu 'ney Will 10 be sure the
= dreams 40 not come 10 pass any more than
$ II they trlsd the OLD plan successfully; but
,nen' tney won want them TO, SO they viii
0 DC just as cou'en'ed win the result
e Mr.. Hawkins, irrtated by what he
g considers the repeated insult ofDr. Keneally,
e has declared his intention OF never speaking
! to him this side of the grave. Let us hope
D he will not carry his luminosity to the other
side, but will greet his old antagonist with
a pleasant smile, shake Of the hand, and a
cneeriul SANITATION, 1000 morning DOCTOR
a"'u"y NOT weather ANA let us nope
tne doctor VIII reply amiaoly' very sui
= Try inueeu! ulad TO meet you here''
VAL Ws. k..u. H. L -.