The Placer herald., 1873-01-18

HUMORS OF A SMASH UP.

lowing humorous description OF railroad
"smash up
We were moving along at ordinary express
rate from Portland to Boston, via. a certain
line, which has since acquired "a rather san
culinary reputation. The car was not a lit
| tie crowded distinctly remember having
seat next the stove, at The extreme for
ward end. Fortunately there was no fire
| this being June--otherwise our narrative
might never have been written, or at least
come down good deal singed. Well, every
traveller of any considerable experience (and
that we all claim to be) knows how it come
A truck had broken, it was said. The mar
rator's head made "A respectable dent in the
zinc sheathing past the stove. At the same
time his heels were nearly cut off by the
back Of the seat whirng over and striking
down on the backs of his ankles.
All the passengers seemed to have busi-
ness at the forward end of the car just then.
was not alone; on the contrary, one fellow
seemed to have taken it into his head to ride
me much as Captain Waterman is said to
have ridden the cayman. lie came over on
the back of the seat, and had bestrided me
in n twinkling, sitting down with no great
gen,leness on the "small' Of my back. |
could, also, by sidcling glance, discern an
other youngster in between the stove pipe
and the side Of the cara position he seemed
to dislike exceedingly, Judging tiom the
thrashing about he made, his boot heel occa-
sionaly coming down beside my cheek
Though little giddy from my attempt at
denting zinc, still felt pretty lolerably Ger
tain that had not been killed, but judged
it best to keep quiet, especially since could
OF do much else. There was y great up
roar and shouting overhead. Some block
bead was batterng at the car door ON the
outside with an axe. Every stroke sent tho
glass from the broken window rattling about
our ears. Presently the young Rarey whC
had mounted me squirm d "a little, and thel
gave me "A punch with his knuckle.
Say, you dead p he demanded.
believe-not.
"Then, | presume you would like to have
me get Off -
suppose replied TO The effect that, if il
were convenient for him, it would be very
gratifying to me.
Just so; I'll see what can be done.
Wash" addressing somebody, "for heavens :
sake quit kicking me in the ribs
"Am |, though p cried the chap behind
the stove pipe beg your forgiveness; but
what's fellow to do? Here I'm wedged in. D
"Can't you use the other foot? p suggest
ed my rider.
"No, no! don't use that!' | exclaimed
"your boot heels right in my ear now
Just then the man with the axe Knocked
in the door, which flew back, MASKING a
whole caucus of hats, and spatting one old
man in the face The conductor crowded III
foremost, and seeing "Wash" first of any
body, suppose, pulled him out from behind
the stove. "Rarey" crawed up off my
back, and we all three got out Of the door.
The car had left the rails, turned half round
and headed down the bank. Nobody
was killed outright. One man had leg
broken, and swore he would have handsome
damages for the same.
There were several limpers.
One lady had the whole skirt Of her dress
.orn off, and was carrying this in one hand
and big dumping colored chignon in the
other. There were also several others car
rying chignons of various colors.
Everybody, save the broken-legged man.
pleasantly concured in the opinion that ii
wa "quite a little bump of those
small iots to which life is unavoidable heir,
and which are to be borne as good humor-
edly as possible.