Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1873-08-07
Miscellaneous.

Spots on the sun-Freckles on your
boys face.
A woman who tells fortunes from
tea-cup is a sauceress.
Captain Jack is said to have asked
to be tried by jury of Indians.
People who are always wanting
something new, should try neuralgia.
The dressing gown is the most
lasting of all garments it is seldom
worn out.
"A Kentucky man has named his
sixteenth child, recently born TO him,
Omega, hoping it will be the last.
What was the proverb that King
Lear heard from the lips Of his two
daughters? Go father and fare worse.
Where are the men of &c ?" shout
ed stump orator. Dead, responded
a sad looking man in the middle aisle.
The success Of the balloon expert
ment, now on the carpet, will prove
whether or not it was Wise to cross the
Atlantic.
"A japanese paper thinks that the
paper manufacturers of that country
will soon be able to supply the American
market.
When Shakspeare's mother wished
him to confess a theft, what distinguish
ed character did she hold up before him:
William Tell.
Mrs J. A. Duniway wants 10 be
Mayor of Portland, Oregon. She says
! it is high time the prejudices of the past
were Dunniway with.
1t is stated that the "late John Car
penter. of Marquette, Mich, knocked
! the ashes out of his pipe on the head of
key Of blasting powder.
The London papers net having any
! revolutionary horses to fall back on are
| hunting out old soldiers who fought with
Sir John Moore of Coruuna.
The old gentleman who put his pos
! tai card in stamped envelope is match
| ed by an Omaha man who has his money
orders sent by registered letters.
In recent article on tair in his
| locality, the editor of a Western paper
/ saws a brother editor took valuable
! premium, but an unkind policeman
made him put it right back where he
/ took it from.
! iii is suggested that persons who 90
/ about with their Cashmere shawls turn
/ ed inside out to show that they are gen
\ ing en- their heads, to show that their
boots are soled.
Boston ladies put on clean stock
/ ings when they have their photographs
I. taken. a philosopher is trying to study
I cut the reason. But the most interest
| ing point of inquiry is, how did the re-
/ porter learn the fact +?
To the telegraphic announcement of
/ a railroad accident near Schenectady,
recently, in which one man was killed
and several wounded, is added this i'm
pOrtant statement ''The express train
was delayed only one hour :"
The St. Louis Journal is going to
| publish a list of itemizers who give
credit when they clip anything, and will
| entitle ii 1.-THE Laurel Wreath" "The
! String of Pearls ''The Chiefest Among
Ten Thousand" or something of that
/ kind.
"A Portland man, caught fishing for
| trout on another mans land the other
| day, completely silenced the owner, who
demonstrated, with the majestic answer.
''Who wants to catch your trout? l
/ am trying to drown this worm"
An erudite insurance agent sent the
! following dispatch to Western Office
/ Just after the Boston fire : ''Our com
! panies all sound as a nut. Loss viii not
/ exceed 800, 600. Advance rates 25 per
i cent. and go ahead. Our motto IS still
Soc ct tn en-.
Cannot something be done TO pre-
vent young ladies from being insulted
on our streets at night asks Cincin-
natl paper. There can. just have the
| girls mother tuck her into her little bed
about eight o'clock in the evening and
lock the door on her.
"A young man in Peoria sought TO
secure his sweetheart by strategy; so he
took her out for a boat ride and threat
ened to Jump overheard into the lake if
she didn't marry him. 1t did the work.
She offered to bet him a dollar that he
daren't dive in.
"A woman never realizes her necessi-
ties till she attends an auction sale.
| They tell of woman in Baltimore who
has provided herself with two hundred
pairs of stockings, wooden and cotton.
She is evidently intending 20 organize a
hose company somewhere.
"A schoolboy's composition on to-
bacco 'EThis noXious weed was invent
ed by distinguished man named Wal
ter Raleigh. When the people first saw
him smoking they thought he was a
steamboat and as they had never heard
of such a thing as a steamboat, they
were terribly frightened"
"A genuine Highlander, looking al
print from a picture by one of the old
masters, in which angels were repre-
sented blowing trumpets, inquired if the
angels blowed on trumpets, and being
answered in the affirmative, made the
remark: "Hech, sirs / wonder they
dinna tax pair of guide stout bagpipe.
"A Chicago jenkins wrote rapturous-
ly of the toilet Of particular lady at
the Jubilee ball 1t subsequently, ap-
peared that many lady there was dress
ed far more elegantly. Moreover, the
lady he named was not in full dress toll
ct. She was not, in fact, at the ball,
being in Europe on that occasion. With
these trifiing errors excepted, jenkins
was right.
Among the replies TO an advertise
ment Of a music committee for a candi-
date for organist, music teacher, etc, a
vacancy having occurred by the resigna-
ton of the organist in Office, was the
following. ''Gentlemen, noticed your
advertisement for an organist and music
teacher, either lady or gentleman. Hay-
ing been both for several years, offer
you my services.
The following remarkable advertise
ment no doubt refers TO some printer 5
apprentice. The reward offered is a
fair commentary on the present misera-
Bile system or want Of system OF printer
; apprenticeship Runaway Appren-
!, / tice-Josiah Brown, an indentured APP
prentice to James Marshall, ran away a
short time ago. All persons are hereby
forewarned not to harbor him Ten
cents reward viii be given for his return
to Mary A.. G. Marshall, administrative
of Jas. Marshall, deceased. Roacetts he
porter