davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
GREAT MES At HoarE.
How George Washington Put on a Gle
Shirt.

s4l1Et-
We always think of great men as in
the act OF performing the great deeds
which give them Fenown, or else in
stately repose, grand, gloomy and ma
festie. And vet this is hardly fair,
because even in the most gorgeous
and magnificent of human beings have
to bother themselves with the little
things of this life which engage the
attention of US smaller people. No
doubt Moses snuffed and got angry
when he had a severe cold in his head,
and if fly bit his leg while he was
sitting in the desert, why should we
suppose he did not jump up and use
violent language, and rub the sore
place? And Csesar-isnt it tolerably
certain that he got furious when he
went up stairs to get his slippers in
the dark, and found that Calphurnia
had showed them back under the bed
so that he had to sweep wildly around
for them with the broom handle P
And when Solomon cracked his crazy
bone, is it unreasonable to suppose
that he hoped around the room and
looked mad and felt as if he wanted
to cry? Imagine George Washing
ton sitting on the edge of the bed,
putting % A clean shirt, and growing,
becRnse the huttons were off: or ST.
Auguatine with an. Apron aronnd hi s.
neck having his hair cut; or Joan of
Arc holding her front hair in her
mouth, as most women do, while she
fixed up her back hair; or Napoleon
jumping out of bed in a frenzy to
chase a mosquito around the room
with a pillow; or Martin Luther in
his night-shirt at two o'clock in the
morning trying to put the baby to
sleep !; or Alexander the Great with.
tho niE6fihs or Thomas J effersbhi get-g
ting suddenly over the fence to avoid
a dog; or the Duke of Wellington
lying in bed with the mumps; or
Daniel Webster abusing his wife be-
cause she hadn't tucked the covers in
at the foot of the bed or Benjamin
Franklin pairing his corns with ra-
zor; or Jonathan Edwards at the din
ner table wanting to sneeze just as he
gets his. mouth full of hot beef; or
Noah standing at his window at night
throwing bricks at a oat.-MGS.A Ade-
ZeT
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
BELDINlI g = AHMoIRCNG. Il A.
js;; "

BEEDING q ARMsTkoN6, sBRAINERD
& son, AND SMITH, WOODRUFF & co.
252-y.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18


on. barber, spare that young mustAeiie.
Nor touch q single bair;
Your razor, brush and other trash.
Must never venture there.
At last the bud has blossomed one.
By much earessing taughts
Its frafI young tendrils how they sprout-
Then, barber, touch it not
Though well laid out, and wide the field,
Whence this young mustaehe shoots.
The siekly soil no more can yield
on, well guard then its roots;
FOR should the murderous blade sweep o'e
The curved lips shadoTy mist,
The tender plants would bloom no more
Then, barber, oh, desisti
Think Of the dear young girl, whose lip
Was wont so on 10 press
That budding mouth, its sweets TO sip
Oh. think Of her distress,
'Tis unhedged manhOod's pride and joy,
With sighs and tears twas brought,
Let no rude stroke its life destroy
ts g0h, barber, touch it not
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18

The strong figure of speech, with
which Corney illustrated , the great
size of AmeEicaodhas also a hit at the
Scotch which they will relish as well
as they do punch. "Where did baccy
come from ?,.ilquifed Mary. .''Why.
from Meriky, where else ~ replied
CoFney, "tbat sent us the first petaty.
'fWhat sort of place is that, l won
der nj ''AerikYA 4 yPheYg tell me tits
mighty Stable, MoH, dafl1rt.A Pm
told that you might roll England
through il an II would hardly make a.
dint insthe gr0undk THERE'S q Ifreshs
water ocean inside of it that you
might dhrown Ireland. in, and save.
Father Matthew wonderful sight of
troubles an as fer / Sootfdnds YOU
might stick it inua. corner ofsote of
their forests, an you'd never be able
to fad it, except it Enight be by the
smell of the whisky ~ 3e6g1 q sa4r.za5
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18

theif suceor.g The n ssult was the col
lection of morefhan S5y9O0.
Edwin, a once popuhNr Engl5shfac
tor, is credited with The 81lthorshIl97o oi
the briefest of sermons, his text being,
"Man is born to trouble as the sparks
fly upward. / shall consider toIs dis
course under three heads, First,
mans ingress into the world ) second
ly, mans progress through tire world
thirdly, mans egress out of the world ;
and, az
First-Man's ingress into the world
is naked and bare
Secondly-His progress through the
world is trouble and care y .5ssssl
IastIy-His egress out of the world
is nobody cares where
If we do well here, we shall do well
there; I can tell you no more If
preach for a year.
The last time Justice Foster went
on.eirchit be dismissed the gran Jury
men to their. work vithE ifGehtle-
men, the weather is extremely hot; /
am very old. and you are well ac-
aRainted with hyaqrrdutY-pratige 1t II
In an action for slandef, Justice
| CressweII put the case to the jury in
| the emphatic words = sGentIemen, the
defendants a fouI-monthed Fellow
What damages ?" an example of ju-
Edicial sbFeYity only TO. be matched by
! Baron AIderson's address to aeon
victed prisoner who prayed that God
might strike him dead where he stood
| if he were not innocent. After mo-
ment's silence, the Judge sternly and
coldly said: Prisoner at the bar, as
Providence has not interposed in be-
eiEalf of society, tbeS sentence~ of the
'couftfs that yoH@ ba fHansp poKteh@ ton
the term of twenty years"
An American judge once inter-
vened in an odd way to prevent 9
waste of words. He WRs sitting in
chambers, and seeing from the piles
Of papers in the lawyers hands that
the first case was to be hotly contested,
be asked, "What is the amount in
question 2" 1.-TWO dollars" said the
plaintiffs counsel. "I'll pay it, said
the judge, handing over the money
"CaH the next case"
He had not the patience of taciturn
Sir William Grant, who, after listen
for couple of days TO the arguments
of counsel IS. to. the construction of an
done: " The act is repealed"
All lH4ulSlb1fS HESuCu DlSHOp OuC6
caught tartar in the Duke de Rogue
laire. The latter passing in haste
through Lyons, was nailed by the
bishop with: "Hii HIP The Duke
stopped. ".Where. are 1yOu from ?"-
inquired the ptelate. f'sPaFis," said
the Duke. What is there fresh in
Paris 2" "Gree4 peas. ts'But what
were the people saying when you
left? sVespers." Goodness, man."
broke out the sngry,qqestioner, "who
are you? What are you called ?"-
Ignorant people call me Hi Hill
Gentlemen teFhl Z khe( tbb Duke de
Roquelaire. Drive on, postillion !"
One morning q woman was shown
into DR.. Abernathylsroom before he
could speak, she barred her arm, say
doctor. Next day 1shef called again,
showed her arm, and said, "Better."
"Continue the poultice." Some days |
elapsed before Abernathy saw her
again; then she said: swell, your !
fee ?" "Nothing," quoth the great
medico, ssyou are the most sensible
woman j. ever saWg2slgpy.ii { sgys s8 <'gtt.
~ afls y tts
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
SHORT SPEECHES.

Perhaps the shortest speech eYeEde-
iVered in any legislative" character
was that of the ~ nember of the United
States Congress, who, having got out
this sentence: "Mr. Speaker, the gen.
erality of mankind in general are dis
posed to exercise oppression on the
generality of mankind in general, +"
was pulled down to his seat by his
friend with the remark You'd bet
terfstop; you are coming out of the
same hole you went in at. =
Daniel Webster was apt to oyer-iii-
dulge himself at public dinners, but
managed, when called upon, TO make
a speech-if brief one.
On ahofher occasion w Webster fin
ished up with: .HGentlenen, there's
the national debit should be paid !;
yes, gentlemen, 1t should bepaid. i II
pay it myself. How much is it?"
Sir Arthur Helps somewhere sug-
gests that clergYmen would be more
successful in attacking the pockets of
their foeks if the sentr0und the plate
before instead of after the sermon,
with the understanding that if they
gave literally, they should be let off
from the sermon altogether. M. Du-
panloup, the eloquent Bishop of Or
leans, preaching in behalf of the dis
tressed Workmen of Rohen, contented
himself with saying: ssThis is no
time for long sermons but for good
works. You are all acquainted with
the calamities of those whose cause l
have come this day to plead. Once
upon time king, whose name is
still cherished by us, said to his cem-
panions-in-arms, on whom he thought
with reason he could rely My good.
friends, am your king; you are
Frenchmen. Yonder is the enemy
let us march, / will not address you
in other words to-day than these l
am yOnr Bishop; you are christians.
Yonder are, not our enemies, but our
brethren, who suffer Let us flee to
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
A DMINIsTRAToR's SALE OF Real,

of Portago county Ohio. I will sell Al public
ahetion on Saturday, the 1lth day of October,
1873, at 1s0'clockj p m, upon, the premises in
Randolph, the following described real estate
situate in Randolph, Portage county, Ohio and
being a part of Lot No. 80 boIlnded on the north
by land pf j L.. sHRug hawOut; east by land Of
John II HQTsohler; south by lot limo, and west by
land Old P9wlus. eontaiaipg twenty7six 1T-lO0
acres OF land. more or less Appraised at 5sst
Terms of sale--0ne.third down. sone-third in
one and one third in two years from day oTsale;
the payments. to be secured by mortgage on
prenliSessEt - = Il DAVID SIMISON,
AdpiinistratoE ofJ. Shields Stallsmith, decd.
e. a. REED, Atty. MI IT, fegY II .fe.. Y.as
September II, 1873. 4w
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
THE WRONG SPRING.

The following story is from Bart.
lett Springs; as is well known, there
are a number of small springs pos
sessing various, qualities. The water
of some is Recommend ded for drink
ing purposes, of others tor bathing, OF
for the cure of certain diseases; but
the one to which our narrative refers
is a small soda spring, the water OF
which is considered an excellent
drink, and spring recommended for
the cure of corns;
1t seems that an old gentleman who
was troubled with corns made it a
practice; to- go = to the soda 3sPring
every evening, and give his eorns a
soak Before turning in for the night,
under the impression that it was the
corn spring. The aristocratic visitors
likewise made it a practice to go to
the soda spring and take a drink be-
fore retiring, which was usually a lit
tie after the old gentleman got
through soaking his coEns.l They
were rather fastidious in their tastes
and would very carefully rinse out
the top before taking a drink, but one
come down q little earlier than COM
mon and found the old gentleman
soaking hiseorns as usual. The high
toned chap Indignantly demanded
what he meant. EtAin't this the corn
springY meekly inquired the old
man Corn springI This is a soda
spring."
"Well," said the old man, 81 thought
there must be something wrong; 1
have been coming here every night
helped my corns a bit" The water
of that spring has been neglected
Banner.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
CME MOWER and REAPER


of which we are the Builders, and ask their
early and careful examination of the Machines.
This Machine is not an experiment. but has been
thoroughly tested for a number of years, and
has proven to be perfect Machine and perfect
success =
It is generally conceded by the Intelligent
farmer that a. Moving Machine must have
Two DRIVING WHEELs. FLEXIBLE FIN
GER BAR, PERFECT BALANCE LONG JOUR-
NAILS, AND GREAT SIMPLICITY A WHOLE
AXLE, ENCLOSED GEARING. PERFECT ADJUsFA-
BILIFY, EASE OF NJ ANAGEMENT, A SPRING SEAT
PERFECT 1CUTTERS,a CHANGEABLE SPEED and
many other important features. The Acme
combines all of these and many other funda-
mental principles; is made of the best material
and in the most Rorkmanlike manner, with in
Interchangeable parts. - --AA t's- fts5t
This machine is not supporting swarm of
agents, whose wages are acharge upon the pur-
chaser, but win be sold at prices such as will
give the purchaser the benefit of this saving.
Every machine fully warranted.
Extras constantly on hand, and repairs
promptly made. 5ales s.5 e. lis....H : 5s5
Send for a pamphlet. Apply to or address
THE RAVEMNA MANUFACTURING co..
7saft3....sl5 ; l.3-it.s.-lt Rayenna, Ohio.
Ravenna o.. May 80 1872. 197
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
--oOSi

The way nails came to be desig-
mated by the word ''penny," as regard
ing their size;. is thus explained ~ In
the early history of our. country all
nails were wrought forged BY hand) !;
our currency then was pounds, shil-
lings, pence and farthings. i, Each
sized nails were sold by SO many pen
nies' per hundred. The usual way
was. to ask for foaripefiny nails, six
penny, ten-penny, etc. Hence in mery
camille circles the sizes are designated
by the price in pennies per hundred.
When cut-nails were introduced, the
sizes were still designated by pennies;
and this has been continued, and in
all OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES long as nails
are useds-J. 3. E, of PennsyIyania.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18
Joy to the Afilctedl

Our Salt 1sheuin Remedy and Rheumatic and
Neuralgig Toniclare Sure Cures. i.ailtlf
Our Horse Powders will cure the Horses, a
PhgS}ctanS Prescriptions and Family.
ReciJ3eS ca9eJully Compounded and
iS71Tctl5 Con fientf0l. ~ nt uH'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18

Ria1AO fOE saL4!lI
lNl FINE second hand Piano for shIe at d
IA bargaint Enqdire OF ia'g re t.r
NJ, az .ya ,oza +" D. c. GOLDMAN.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26
ENGLAND AND RUSSIA.

Apparently the little disagreement be-
tween England and Russia touching The
Central Asian proclivities of the latter, does
not gain in Cancellation from the attempts
made to patch ii up. Take, for instance,
that remedy-or what, at least, was thought
to be one-of the establishment of an Sin
termediate zone," Russia is well enough
pleased at it, but England fights sgainst 1t.
By this little arrao cement he latter is made
responsible for the good conduct of the
Afghans-a VIGOROUSLY reckless and turbu-
lent set of men, separated from her by
Troublesome ridges and desperate chasms.
England cannot, st such distance, keep
these Afghans from INDUCING in those lit
tie raids which are necessity of their na-
tional life. Ifshe fail to do so, Russia, VINO
has planted her eagles on the Amoor, win
have large sized crow to pick with her.
What refuge, then, has poor Albion? An
s'intermediate zone" sounds both large and
fair; but when it limits all the trouble and
expense TO one party, it may till sound
very large, but the inference will be irr1-
.sistible that IL is not st all fair.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26
RULES OF PRACTICE,
Made by the Chancellor for the Par
pose of Expediting Business I'm
the Seventh Chancery Di.
vision, March 20, 1873.

DULE IsT. The Clerk and Master Of this
N Court is hereby req uired, when he prepares
the Hearing Docket for any Term, to examine
the record and papers on ME IN every case winch,
under the law and practice of the Court, ought
to be on such Docket, and see that the same are
arranged, ready to be produced Whenever called
for in the progress OF the business OF the Court.
And to this end he will notify the SOLICITORS OF
the Court to return to the office all papers in
their possession, and take all necessary steps to
procure such papers. And said SOLICITORS are
hereby required, upon such notification, to re-
turn to the Clerks Office all records and papers
in their possession, whether on the Rule or Trial
Docket so that the Clerk and Master may be
enabled to comply with this Rule.
RULE ID. No Solicitor of the Court, or other
persons, except the presiding Judge in the dis
charge of his judicial functions, shall be permit
ted to withdraw any records or papers in any
cause in said Court, either on the Rule or the
Hearing Docket, from the office OF the Clerk and
Master or the Court Room during the time when
the Court is in actual session. And If any person
is permitted by the Clerk and Master TO take out
any records and papers in term time after the
Court shall have adjourned for the day, 1t is
hereby made the duty of such person to return
fine same bv the time the Court convenes accord
ing to the order of adjournme {, so that the re-
cord and papers may always in the Office Of
the Clerk and Master, or in t Court Room,
when the Court is actually beil held.
RULE Sd. The law entrust the Clerk and
Master with the custody and ntrol of all the
records and papers of the Court, aud makes him
responsible for their safe keeping and produc-
ton whenever required by the business of the
Court, and nothing in these Rules is intended to
change or modify the provisions of law in this
regard, or to sanction any usage In conflict
Herewith. ... --....s -,-r.
RULE 4rH In making out the Hearing Dock
ct, it shall be the duty of the Clerk and Master
to note in writing, and in brief, opposite to each
case the orders or DEGREES made at the previous
term, if any, and what has been done under such
orders or DEGREES.
mh23 1T W.T.. COOPER, Chancellor.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26

THE New York World is about right in
it's estimate of Massachusetts politicians 1t
says: Massachusetts is descending in the
rank Of States. Once she stood among the
first. The change In the character of her
population, the debasement of her once
high standards betrays itself in the acts Of
her peoples representatives. Her venal and
classifying Wilson leaves the Senatorial for
the Vice Presidential chair, and her legisla-
tors debate only whether the wooden blund-
erer of the Treasury Department or the
venal, jobbing, and classifying Dawes shall
ascend to his place. Her foremost Senator,
Sumner, proposes to erase from the United
States Gag the names of battles fought
under it during the civil war; matter-of-
course policy adopted by every civilized
patton in modern times, and these same
legislators censure him, and now after
months refuse to expunge their censure,
showing thus that moi the heat of passion
in ; political campaign, but sodden, sec
tional, narrow-minded hatred, inspires their
behavior and betrays their degeneracy."
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26
THE REVENUE LAW DEFEATED.

Under this capdLn The Chattanooga
Times very justly remarks:
"While the present Legislature has done
many things that viii commend them to
history as one Of the most important As
seulblies of Tennessee, we regret that their
last hours of the session have been charac-
serjzed by an unseemly lack Of decorum and
an ardent intention upon the part of the
members opposed to the funding law to
break I'D quorum in order TO defeat the
pnrposes of that law by killing the new
revenue bill. That this policy is very
short-sighted will be seen from the mess age
bV Gov. Brown and the accompanying doc
uments, sent 10 the Legislature on Sat
urIlay:
II Is proper to state here that Gov. Brown
has displayed in al of his messages TO the
legislature a wisdom and enlightened
stafesmanship 10 which is due in very
great measure the harmony and efficiency
% striKinely exempnfied in the action upon
imnortant questions of Legislature COM
nosed of the most incongruous political ma
terial: ard in all of his executive actions he
has compelled the respect and often the en-
basement even of his political opponents,
and has gained reputation for ability Sc
cond to tIJaE Of no other Governor Oh TINS
proud old Commonwealth"
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26

The Washington correspondent of the
Cincinnati Gazette says complaint is made
that the Missouri Legislators who charged
thai the election of Senator Bogy
was procured by bribery have, as yet,
sent no information as 10 the details Of the
testimony. 1t is an easy thing 20 make
charges, but it is sometimes difficult to sus-
tain them. Yesterday Mr.. Morton, from
the Committee on Privileges and Elections,
reported TO the Senate, declaring that the
memorialists do not present facts sufficient
to justify an investigation, and so the COM
mittee were discharged from the further
consideration Of the subject, by a unani-
nous vote. Thus ends the third attempt
to invalidate Senator Bogy's election.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26

Total vote. 40 1854 69,729 68,46
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26
mo. 1871
Ila Cha,tceru at .TiGshciEEe.

Thomas s. Weaver, Solicitor for Compliments.
mh14 oawiW
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26

LOOK AT THIS, MIR. TENNEsSEEAN.
= s'Fhe State of Tennessee has an area of
$1,000 square miles, and her population is
only l,266, 500 Ohio has an area o. 49,.
GA square miles. and population OF
1861, 260. The soil of Tennessee is by the
odds more generous and productive than
that Of Ohio; her climate much milder; her
mineral and natural resources far superior;
the variety of her productions far surpass-
ing the other, and their fnarketabie value
much greater; and yet Ohio has more than
double the population and three. Times the
wealth Of our beloved Tennessee. Why?
Because we are welded to old ideas, and
slow to adopt great liberal projects aud en-
terprises, and have no system-ef public edu-
cation worth the name. Ohio has ever
been progressive, and liberal in public en-
terprises, and has q good public school IN
every township."-Paris IntelLigenceT.
The Intelligencer might have very prop
cry added in further answer to its inter
fogatory: Because Ohio with her inn
nense debt and heavier taxes than we.
have in Tennessee neither refuses nor fails
to pay the semi-annual interest upon her
debt; because she has no rings within her
borders who seek gain by threats of repu-
diation and attempts to depreciate her
bonds; hence she stands before the world
inviting labor and capital with her credit
high above reproach in the financial world.
The bonds of the State of Ohio are worth
in the market S1O6 while those
of Tennessee without the unpaid coupons
are worth only 632. That is the credit Of
Ohio is six cents on the dollar above par,
while that OF Tennessee is 3644 below. Is
it at all wonderful that Ohio prospers while
Tennessee languishee? The Governor and
majority of the Legislature endeavored to
place Tennessee upon the same high ground
of financial character occupied by Ohio. A
minority succeeded, by parliamentary man
covering, in defeating this good intention.
The consequence is that Tennessee bonds,
which we're a few days since steadily in
creasing in value, are now decreasing.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-03-26
mo, 1881
TRR Chnaaceg-u SIt .EaShri{ER.

J.T Brown, Solicitor for Complainant
mh14 Oaw4w