The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-08-02
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

blesomc pcddlcr who had twice darkencd hi
door,
The editor of Sheridan Nc1rr- Letter assisted a.
the analyzation of a ladies hustle the other day
and found it composed of the Millington En-
.l,Drise and the Ottawa FREE TRADER" Shows
the high tone and good taste of the lady, in
choosing papers of clean surface and pure morals
The Chicago Times says that one OF Senator
Carpenters "Websterial qualifications is TO be
calmly and seriously in debt to every one who
win trust him"
An exchange says spitefuly of rival editor
nat he grinds few tunes man old banjo, under
lis window at night and then returns thanks
through the columns of his paper for the splcn-
lid musical entertainment given him,
4 New Jersey man having heard that Column
Gus was in Ohio, Immediately started out west
20 interview the "old man" about the voyage
which resulted in the discovery of America.
1t is of Julian Hawthorne's novel, Bressant, the
Walton, says: at is bad because tlscks dccency.
in the place of genuine study Of human beings,
t gives US morbid lingering of unclcan emo
lions" If that wouldn't make book sell what
would?
They have got so used to earthquakes at San
Francisco that the boys" no longer mind them
Each embraces a lamp post and "lets Ter shake"
II was not member Of the Ottawa Academy
Of Natural Science, but the President OF Il similar
body in California that demonstrated the truth
Of the Darwinian theory by the following lucid
statement:
Take the common amophoza: in a short time
j; becomes a perfect stramatopora and then
changes into an olcaginous acknowledgement.
Again, take the class Of malacastraca, or the
graptolidcN, and their development into trach-
opoda is as certain as the passage Of bryozca
INTO full grown cephalapoda, If this be So
.hen why cannot mollusk, by similar process
branchata@
There's poser for you, yc anti.Darwinians
Says the Carlnylc Democrat:
At q recent female suffrage meeting, % spirited
yOung lady said, 81 love men individually and |
collectively better than women Now here is |
where our picc-pcrSa comes in. We like women |
best How might this be accounted for most
probably.
BY your incXpcricnce, young man. Marry the
aforesaid spirited young LADY, and you1 change
your tune.
The Sterling Ga7,He in its article to exchange,
winds up as follows: If by paying the postage on
exchanges we can contribute n few dollars to-
wards furnishing inpccunous congressman with
. little backpay' we shall die happy.
Vest Quincy is stirred up sensation 4 ius
.ce has been taken up for stealing hogs
hat Justice is evidently preparing to De re-
elected. We pledge our vote in advance every
Zine 10 the Ottawa justice who will steal the /
log that roots under our garden gate o'nights. 5
The Utica HeraH says men will never know O
what effect it would have had on job if eleven I
tile girls had called on him, one after another, 4
and tried TO sell him Sunday School concert 4
tickets. II
As sociable as Il batch Of candidates two
week. before election" is the latest andmost cx.
qrcssiyc way Of expressing the fact that man is
goodnaturcd and pleasant.
\ Springfield man got no breakfast one morn ,,
ing because lie had filled IL kerosene can with ,
water to test the dangerous characteristics Of
la servant.
a philosopher having made the demon, tratton
hat cannon ball, shot from the earth to the ,
planet Saturn, would be $50 years in reaching its
destination, Il moral editor MAKES the consoling 4,
declaration, that the inhabitants Of Saturn, if e
warned oil their danger by the sight of the flash o
Dr. sound Of the explosion, would thus have am a
.e time to dodge the shot" II
The frugal young man from Kenosha, who car o
cd his "wIttles" in a satchel and only took a "
room at a leading Chicago hotel, lost all faith in
licaSo honesty when he found in his bill a -
Charge of $l00 extra for taking his meals in his =,
-3om
tCongrcssman.ele from New York brings
most valuable experience to the councils Of the
.,tou he has been assistant s,lperjnteudcut If Il
!. msd-hou-c; also driver of a mule team Il
q barciootcd Ohio girl, who walked ten miles l.
J hire out To- hoe corn was admired nv q wild
over worth $4,000, and the two are ou, move -,
MT there q lesson in this?
The lesson seems to be- that if she Lud uir,,lv l.
ncosod her feet in leather and prmcla and IL
hired out as a school marin, she might have is
Dausht something better than dried up old v
armudgcon Of a widowcr. a
Justice Banyon, at Chicago, ON Monday fined
lady s. for exposing her stocking leg ON the e
ldewak." 1t is eight feet long, sir" said the !.
"andi obstructs the sidewalk" ltIY
.,as sign.bOard. +
Mrs. LaGrangc, Of Troy Centre, Wis tied her !
lands and jumped Into cistcrn fun of water 4
his grange business works badly.
The Louisville CoUi,y.Jou7.dl never asserted &
hat General Howard stole money from the Coy i
but it remarked that che merely sur Il
optiiiouSly borrowed permanently, and rcmcm- Il
'rcd to forget to keep any record of the fact"
New York boasts Of a bank president who de. ii
ed himself contemplated trip 10 Europc this n
lmmcr 80 rs To afford his clerks their usual VA &,
alton. He generously remains at his po,t. TAX -
1g the place of each one I'm turn as me- zoe, for y,
period 81 recreation. "
Playing it pretty fine on tac clerk, who he 81
rphaUly thinks need watching. ~
IL has been discovered recently that the orron p
rational language lies in the third cunyumtion al
the left an terror lobe of the brain. 81
From which it would seem that the third Ia