The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-03-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

An old bachelor compares a shirt button
to life, because it hangs by thread.
AN evil mind will be sure TO put the
worst constructions on anOther's actions
who can stand before envyl
II you feel angry, beware lest you be-
come revengeiul.
Owing to the stormy weather on Sstur-
day Of last week only five ladies went To
be divorced in St Louis.
EVENING schools for married men have
been started at South Adams, Mass, from
which the South Ewes are excluded.
"A REJECTED lover in st. Louis has sued
the father of his hearts idol for using un-
due influence in opposing his address, and
claims Sl0, 900 damages therefor.
The citizens of Cleveland. Ohio, com
plain that the contamination Of the water
supply by the waste from oil-rehneries
spoIls the flavor Of the whiskey.
A MINISTER having remarked there
would be a nave in the new edihce the
society was erecting, an old lady said
" she knew the person to whom he re-
ferred"
A LADY, disbelievsr in the science, ask
eD learned phrenulogist, with view Of
puzzling him What kind Of people are
those who have destructiveness and benev-
olence equally and largely developed v"
They, madam, are those who kill with
kindness.
Is the absence Of the chaplain Of the
Texas Senate few days ago, the Senators
are reported to have stood devoutly dur
ing the Clerks reading Of the journal, and
"a have responded amen" when he had
finished, never doubling but that it was
the same thing as the customary morning
prayer.
A PARTIALLY unmarried resident Of La
fayctte, Ind, poisoned himself with lauda-
mum last week at boarding house whith-
er he had eloped from domestic Infehclty,
leaving the following touching pOsthumOus
message to his widow
Please tell that old devil uf wife of
mine that ] had poor time since ] left
the old shanty, but If ever | lind her in
the next world I'll pay her of.
WILLIAM TYSON
SPEAKING Of greatness. Levater says,
. He only is great who has the habits Of
greatness who, after performing what
none in ten thousand could accomplish,
dSoNS Nl lAhN A1aAhoDlAs aAlA kCAAo AiNAAAACA
father nor mother about Ill
SHE il no true wife who sustains not her
husband in the day Of calamity, who IS not,
when the worlds great frown makes the
heart chill with anguish, his guardian an
gel, growing brighter and more beautiful
as misfortunes crowd along the path.
AN editor announced the marriage "
friend thusly He has read himself out
of the Jolly brotherhood Of bachelors, sold
his single-breasted lounge, packed his bag
gage and che cked it for Glory, walked the
gang-plank Of courtship to the vessel Uf
matrmuuy and Is now steaming down the
stream VI bliss by the light Of the honey
moon
UsE or RRCRIPT.-In the city Of Hall
fax there dwelt lawyer, crafty, subtle
and cute as a fox An Indian Of the Mia
mae tribe, named Simon, owed him some
money. The lawyer had waited long for
the tin. Ills patience at last gave out, and
he threatened the Indian with law suits,
processes and executions.
The poor red man got scared and brought
the money to his creditor. The Indian
waited, expecting the lawyer would write
a receipt.
What are you waiting for, said the
lawyer
II Receipt, said the Indian.
A receipt said the lawyer, " receipt I;
what do you know about receipt can
YOU understand the nature Of receipt 7
tell me the use If one and | will give It 70
you."
The Indian looked at him moment and
then said
S'pose maybe me die me 20 to heb
en- NE find the gate locked me- see the
'postle Peter he say Simon, what y, a
want me say, Want to get in he
say, you pay Mr. y dat money what
me do ? hab no receipt hab to hunt all
Ober hell to find you