St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-01-10
Humorous.

lie man VINO wished he might have
Il ''cold snap is satisfied.
ShanaItric wants to know if the Gov
crnor Is not going to have the State
arms vaccnatrd.
''W"mcn wake up" says Mrs. Cady
Stanton. and rutlian rural editor
adds. YES, and DIT turn ont and
build IL fire and get breakfast"
An Indian complaining to IL rumsell-
cr that the price of his liquor WAS too
high. The latter in justification, said,
"Ihat it cost as much to keep IL hogs
head of brandy aS to keep il COW"
''Mayhe he drink so much water.r re-
piled the Indian, "but he no eats so
much hay"
y young man went into IA florists
store the other day to buy IL rosebud
for his atfianced. Seventy five cents
was the price asked. "Will it keep gn
inquired the young man. "Oh yes, IA
long while. Then you may keep it,"
Exit Young man.
lady asked Il gentleman who was
suffering from influenza, "Mv dear sir.
what do you Use for your cold ?" Five
handkcrchietS IL day madam"
During Il dense fog Mississippi
steamer took Il landing. \ traveller.
anxious To go ahead. came to the un-
pcrtrrhed manager of the wheel. and
asked why the boat stopped. TOO
much fog: cant see the river But
Nou can see the stars overhead" ''leS,r
replied the urhanc pilot, "but till the
hllrr bu>tS we amt going that way"
Passenger went to bed satisfied
French wit
"A doctor like cvcrybndy else at
this season. went out for Il DAYS sport.
and complaining of having killed moth
ing. "IhatS the consequences of hay
ing neglected Your business" observed
his wife.
"Why don't you wheel that barrow
of Goals. Ned - said learned miner to
one of his SONS. Its not Il very hard
job. and thrr'> an inclined plane which
will relieve YOU. .'Ah." replied Ned,
who had more relish for wit than work,
''thc plane may hc inclined. but hang
me if am.
y barber in Iitu>villc. cutting the
hair OF Il rural customer, ran his shears
against some hard SIh>tancS. which
( proved to he Il MILESTONE. The old
farmer said he had missed that whet-
stone ever since having time last July.
and have looked all over ten acre lot
far it. but now remembered sticking it
up over his ear.
Rather cnrpulrnt old lady II
shouuld like Il ticket for the train -
b""hi"g clerk twin" thinks he will
make Il lokc) - lcs'm: will Won 90 in
h.
train ?" Lady :-"WrlI. if Won are 4
Specimen of what shall experience in
the passenger train. give me IA ticket
for the cattle train. 10y all means"
We are S"rrV to say there is one boy
III Danhury VIII" did not get ANYTHING
IN his stocking Christmas He left a
pan of ashes "n the stars to follow an
organ. and Il moment later his indulg-
rnt father came crashing out the front
door and down the front Stoop. acccm-
panied 10y the pan and its contents. and
looking for all the world like IL real god
riding i'll the clouds. For few min
ut"s the boy thought he had pile-driv-
cI for IN ancestor.
\ Lady at Gloucester hotel, who
had learned to appreciate the great va
lirtN and excellence of the fish caught
,,'.,nt =, L,,,,,, - ',iu" ,,', "' ne ''n"'
L,,Io,. y. ''''' II '''i' III '''is
''''
y sea Captain WAS asked at the Mis-
t"iI"iH io"'''> III BOSTON the other day,
I, = Wv - VI ',i' mig Oh i'ah"meN
N'i. .I';,"' res >''" ne and
'"i'lS 'l>t 'h'A can lal thcir hands
'''
r,,,. -,