The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-10-16
DRIES.

Inc heV. Dr. Morgan opiDes that lit
erary women ought not to marry. and
their husbands generally agree with him.
A negro once said in prayer meeting
"Bredren, when l was boy l took q 1
Ratchet and went into the woods. When
I found tree dat was straight. big and
solid, didn't touch dat tree but when
| found one leaning little, and hollow
inside. | soon had him down. So. when
de debbel goes after Christians, he don't
touch them that are straight and true,
but dem dat lean little and are hollow
inside
A down-e farmer, known tar and
wide by his patriotic title. had a neigh
Dor who was in the habit Of working on
Sundays but after while this Sabbath
breaker joined the church. One day our
friend met the minister to whose church
he belonged. well, uncle Sam, said
be, do you see any difference in MIR.
p, since he joined the church ?'' 'Oh,
yes" said Uncle Sam, "a great differ
ence. Before, when he went out to mend
his fences he carried his ak over his
shoulder, but now he carries it under his
coat
NJ. d. Conway, in recent letter from
London says: One of our broad church
clergymen, being recently on an excur-
sion in Scotland, was vehement rebuked
by his land-lady for taking walk on
Sunday afternoon. The clergyman slid
that he could not see the harm: "You
know that we read tLat our Lord himself
walked with his disciples in the fields on
the Sabbath day." "Ay,' said the old
lady, 'ay. l ken it, an l ne'er thought
any the better O. him for it, neither.
The following anecdote is related of
Wendell Phillips: During the sitting of
a Methodist conference in Boston, Mr..
Phillips engaged a horse car in which
there were number of clergymen. I'm
medistely he was pointed out to them as
the great agitator, and one, holder than
the rest, who did not sympathize with
the anti-slavery movement, addressed
him, asking if he were Wendell Phillips,
and upon receiving an affirmative re-
ply, he said, You preach up the doing
away slavery in the south, don't you ?"
Eyes," answered Phillips, II preach in
favor of the abolition of southern slave
ry." well. said the minister with a
critical accent, don't you think you had
better go down south and preach it
NO." replied Phillips, 81 think it is
we'll to preach any doctrine in the north;
aud then surveying the clergyman's per-
son. he said, 'You are minister, pre-
sumo, from four appearances ?" Eyes,
L am minister said the other. 'tWell,
you preach for the salvation of souls from
hell, l presume, said Phillips. 81 do
answered the clergyman. well retorted
Phillips, don't you think you had better
go to hell and preach it ?''
A city editor, who is a bachelor, hav.
ing said in his last issue that he really
wished that he had a son, so that he
could dress him up in the fashion, was
called upon the next day by his adora-
BILE. to whom he had been paying his at
tention for the past two years, who asked
him if he really said that. Certainly
my DEAR" "Well, Billy" said she,
why don't YOU make arrangements for
one % Our friend said it was the first
time he was cornered. He felt so morti-
fed that he went right away to the par
| son.
An editor retells this story: An aunt
of ours concluded to try the effect of a
pleasant smile and kind word upon her
husband when he returned from his
work. She had read how home should
be made pleasant, and the wife should
always meet the husband with a joyful
smile. The success she had is best given
in the shape of a dialogue. Enter hus-
band, almost exhausted, and very hung
ry withal; throws his hat on the floor,
and drops heavily into seat. Wife,
preparing tea, looks up with smile, and
is so glad to see him. Wife-"Well,
my dear, it is so nice to have you here at
meal time" A long SMILE Husband
Yes l suppose 500 Wife-''How
has your business prosnered to-day ?''
! Another smile. Husband-'"B Bout So
SO" Wife-"Come my dear, supper 5
ready; let me draw up your chair. -
LAnother smile. Husband, gruhiy-
I'm too tired to stir Wait till warm
my feet" Wife-"Do as you choose,
my dear" Another smile. Husband
look a here old woman: before any
further fuss is made about it, l should
like to know what you are grinning at"
Aunt sighed and relinquished her sweet
smile from that day. Uncle was not one
OF the romantic sort, and didn't under
stand such things.
A seataring man, who was recently
married, gives the following description
of his bride and her apparel, which we
think will put some of tie Society pa
pers to the blush: my wife is Just as
handsome craft as ever left the millinery
dry-docks, is clipper built, and with
figure head not often seen on small craft.
Her length of keel is FIVE feet eight
inches, over all FIVE feet eleven inches
displaccs twenty seven cubic feet of air:
OF light draught, which adds to her
spread in ball room; full in the waist
spars trim. AT the time we were spliced
she was newly rugged fore and aft with
standing rigging oe lace and flowers,
malnsaii part silk, with forestry OF Va
lenciennes. Her frame was of the best
steel, covered with whalebone stanch-
cons. The rigging is intended for fair
weather cruising. She has also set of
storm sails for rough weather, and is