Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1873-04-04
MISCELLANEOUS.

Miss Emily Faithful, the noted Eng
llsh woman now in this country, is panied
to see that many American girls protesting
to be highly educated are me ely "dipped
into a weak solution Of cUmplishments."
An old bachelor said there's sight
more jewelry worn nowadays than when
was young but there's one piece that /
always admired that don't often see now"
"what is that9" asked young lady, IA
thimble," was the reply. The man was re-
garded with contempt aud scorn by every
lady in the roomfor the rest OF the evening.
DIR. Parker, at the meeting Of the Tenn
perance League recently held in New York,
stated that the average ran, aged twenty
years, in good health, had an average of
forty-two years of life, while a social drink
or, from the same point of view, had only
an average OF thirty-fi7e years. The habit
ually Incorporate have much poorer
show. DR.. Parker has made the subject of
alcohol and lis effects almost a lifelong
study.
Jones and his wife we're always quar-
relng about their comparative talent for
| keeping n fire. She insisted that just SO
surely as he attempted to rearrange the
sticks with the tongs he put tho fire out.
| One night the church-bell sounded an a
larm, and Jones sprang for his fire-bucket,
eager to rush to the confiagration. "Mr.
JONES'" cried his wife, as he reached the
door, "Mr. Jones, take the longs"
| Minnesota complains that she has had
| injustice dono her climate. She admits
that there was a pretty bad storm out there,
last January, but says that it was entirely
exceptional, and, in support of her claim
to an early season, mentions the fact that
as early as the 18th Of March farmers were
1 engaged in putting in their wheat crops,
the prairies were. already clad with fresh
verdure and the strawberry vines were put
ting on their green garments.
| The following story is told OF Rev. Mr..
| Hammond, who approached a man at Bur-
lington, Iowa, the other day, asking him II
he was a Christian. mo-" replied the
other party, "I am railroad man." "Well,"
said Mr.. Hammond, II know Of several
conductors in New England that are Chris
tians." "That may work down East all
right, but man can't be both in Iowa."
responded the employee.
The profit of western corn raising can
| not be July ny
the number of bushels produced per an-
mum. The Chicago Inter-Ocean illumi-
mates the dark question by the following
searching ray Of arithmetical computation
The Somonauk (Ill.) farmers market is in
Boston he has rs bushels of corn TO sell
he hauls it to town at an expense OF five
cents per bushel, and gives The railway
companies 528 bushels-the product o
thirteen acres-as compensation for trans
porting 2i7 bushels-the produce Of six
acres-to Boston.
Baron n. Rothschilds Of Vienna, only
son of the head of the Austrian line of The
family, is about TO marry the Countess
/. Messy, daughter of an Austrian official
The match is one of pure love, aud thu
young man will abjure his religion instead
. of requiring the bride too abiure hers
His indignant and heart-brOken father viii
;, cut him Off with what answers to a shillin!
:. among the r hs,hilds, that is he will Civ
', him pitiful two million.
:, There was once an old woman who, II
answer to a visiting almoner's inquiries a
TO how she did, said :-"Oh, SIR, the Lor'
> Is very good to me I've lost my husband
and my eldest sou. and my younges
E; daughter, and I'm half blind. and I cam
[. sleep or move about for the rheunatics
- but I've two teeth left in my head, an
. praise and bless His holy name, they'r
q Opposite each othcr!'' 1t has been sal
O that this woman was thankful for SINAI
= merces.--T. Pdurs.