The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1873-09-12
0lle a}.arietta sonrnal.


sad news for you, my dear your
doctor. Mr.. Crushbuna, died TINS
morning" Jimmy Zone Of six -
nThen we shan't have any more ba-
HES. ma, shall we !"
Inv kant live on beauty; il must
hav acme hash, or it will fade aud
di.--BILIINGs.
MATnrMosIAL.- lit is not good
nowadays for q man to offer his
hand. if there's nothing in it.
The Ohio River has remarkably
long face. Il is nearly twelve hun
dred miles from its head 10 its
mouth.
A young mans friends object 10
his being loose, bat somehow they
have an equal objection TO his being
tight.
A Marietta young mans highest
ambition is to get money enough to
buy place in the heart Of a beau
tiful girl.
come to steal, as the rat obscrv-
ed to the trap. And spring to err !
brace You, as the trap replied to the
rat.
"Who dat hit met Whar's dat
Iatern n were the EXPLANATIONS of
sstonished Virginia darkey, after
being thrown something like an hun
dred feet by locomotive.
1t is a little singular how much
valuable time man will take up in
studying the post mark Of letter to
see where it comes from, when he
can open the letter and find out at
once.
"Why do you set your cup OF cof-
fee on the chair, Mr.. Jones I" asked
worthy landlady one morning at
breakfast. at is so very weak,
ma'am, thought would lot it
rest"
AT one time Saturday there were
five bald-headed men in one of oul
dry goods stores, looking vacantly
about, and each one thoughtfully
rubbing his head with finger tina
had thread tied about it.
1t 10 not safe to send money by
postal card. So says Josh Billings
A Kansas woman, who has won
house and lot at q rattle, had to bu
shot gun to keep her adorers fro'
wearing out the steps.
"Does this razor 20 easy 7" askc
an Atlanta barber Of his victim wi
was writhing under a clumsy instri
ment whose chief recommendation
was a strong handle. "Well," re
piled the poor fellow, 'thas depend
upon what you call tho operation
II you are skinning mo it 'goes tol
cradle easy, but If you are shaving
me it goes rather hard"
Bill Snow, tho Ethiopian Serena
der, who used to live in Marietta
died in Forsyth the other: Thu
Sn0g was black.
Mr.. Reese, q well-know stree
preacher in Cincinnati, was accost
ed by would-be wag the other da,
and questioned as follows:
"Do you believe what the Bibl
says about the prodigal son and TIL
fatted calfp
Certainly do.
Well, can you tell me whether III,
calf that was killed was male Of
female calfS
Yes, il was female calf.
How do you know that
Because, said Reese, looking the
chap in the face, / see the male is
alive now.
A little boy ran into the house the
day crying at the top of his voice be-
cause another little boy wouldn't let
him put mud on his head with u
shingle. Some children are just like
their Parents-no accommodation
about them.
AN old country gentlemen, whose
daughter has just returned from
school, aud has S musical instrument
in the house, called at one of our
drug stores yesterday and asked for
some music. The polite clerk asked
him il he wanted sheet music, vocal
or instrumental When the old
man, thinking he was being triAed
with, bawled out, II want gal mus
&C." ltis likely he got it.
The "Grasshopper Twist" is an
nouncsd the successor of the Greciau
bend.
ADVERSELY exasperates fools, de,
jects towards, draws out faculties oI
the wise, puts the modest to the ne
cessity oftrying their skill, awe,
the opulent. and makes the idle in.
dustrious- Much may be said ia
favor Of adversely, but the worst OF
!, is, ii has no friends.
Children are monuments Of God S
goodness to man; they are pledges
of everlasting love; they are the
dew drops in the sunshine, and rain
bow ,ints amid its cares and sor-
rows.