davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
Best Points from Josh Billings

Pride is cheap and common; you kan
find it all the way down from the mon
arch on hiz throne tew the rooster on hiz
dunghil.
There are excepshuns to all rules, no
doubt, but the excepshuns don't win
often enuff tew make them pay.
The same time spent in learning tew
phiddle a passable tune on one string
wud enable man tew bekum an elegant
shumaker
Man il the only thing kreated with
reason, and still he IL the most unrea-
zonable thing kreated.
Happiness kOnsists in having what we
want, and wanting what we hav.
There IL lots ov eddikated people i'll
the world who, if it want for their learn
ing, wouldn't kno anything
I kno what it IL tu be a grandpa
its fun alive.
Responsibility in theze times depends
good deal upon q mans bank account
Everybody but the kussid phools are
tew work for themselves.
There is kind of kuriosity which il
very common amongst pbolks, which
promps them to see how near they can
go tew mules heels and not get hit.
Silence is safe. The man who hasn't
spoke alwus hes the advantage of him
who haz.
The parrot IL not game bird, altho
they blight good, hang on well, and di
hard.
A parrott will live 200 years and grow
cross tew the last.
They hav no song, but kan be larnt
tew sware korrectly.
A parrott in private family il about
az useless az a seckond attack ov the
meazles, and make more trubble than
taking a skoolmom tew board.
Whatsoever kan happen may happen,
and we have no excuse for being sur
priced at enything in this life.
reputashun of it.
In q square fite, the heart is alwuss
tew much for the head, and [ am glad
ov it.
A regular old fashioned, thorobred lie
don't DO much hurt, it IL the half breeds
that do the mischief.
I cater for little children luv them
i believe they have bin CRATE suck
cess thus far, and amt going to run out
long as pholks last.
I find plenty ov people who are will.
ing few tell you all they kno, if you tell
them all you kno, but the mizery ov the
trade liz, they don't kno much.
It il just as natral for an old phellow
tew give advice az is it tew grunt
Thare il only one impulse ov the
human harte that IL alike in us all,
and that is, self-luv.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
Chandler's Buggy,
Don Piatt's London letter.

In European hotels no gas is ever
found in bed rooms, and the candles and
soap are charged among the extras, to
the full value of each candle, whether
burned or not, and each cake Of soap, let
it be washed away or returned to the
landlord. The result is that the female
mind, always liable to spasms of econo-
my, moves it's possessor to a general seiz-
ure of the candles. An English noble
man either burns the candles all night
or quarrels next morning until they are
stricken off the bill.
Not a bad story is current among
Americans in Europe in this connection,
concerning our great Michigander, Sen9-
tor Chandler. While making his grand
tour of Europe he encountered our
friend, Genl lie Fevre, distinguished
linguist, then United States counsel at
Nuremberg. The conversation turning
on bills presented by landlords, the
senator said he could not complain.
His bills, compared to those he had to
pay in Washington, we're reasonable
enough.
But there is one thing that puzzles
me-" he continued wherever go, if
but for one night, 1 am charged with a
buggy. Now the charge is low enough
if / ever had the buggy, but havn't
seen buggy since ] left the states. :"
Our council wss bothered. He asked
at last to look at the bill, and found tho
learned senator had mistaken the French
word " bOrgie" for the honest American
one "buQgy."
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

heart was full of new plans and new
purposes. He could keep his promise,
and he would he would never make
Nancy's heart ache again by breaking
that promise. He stopped suddenly
had the storm reached Sumner The
tall buildings along the wharf were
leaning roofess, one this way, another
that as if the wind, comming over the
unroof them. He hastened around the
foot of the hill; there lay the brick
hotel, the boast of the town, in scattered
fragments on the ground, like a wasp's
nest scattered by the hOusekeeper'
broom. He looked around three.
fourths of the town lay in ruins. How
street until he could see where it stood.
his family? Perhaps they had escaped
before the storm perhaps Scarce
knowing what he did, he hurried to the
nearest house that was yet standing,
and without ceremony opened the door.
There was no one in the room, but on
couch in one corner, a white sheet
fsunk to the still proportions of two
silent forms. Moved by some strange
Impulse, ne burQSU Dhck Gno covering
that shrouded the faces-Nancy and the
baby Shocked, stunned, he sank on
his knees and laid his face on that dear
form. Who can describe, who can
comprehend the utter desolation of that
hour None but those who have felt it.
o the thoughts and memories that crow
ded upon him-many of them bitter,
regretful thoughts. But there was one
memory for which he was thankful
that he had not listened to the tempter
which whispered to him yester-morn,
that it would be weak and unmanly to
yield to her request.
They found him there an hour after
ward, but he asked no questions, made
no reply to their attempts at consola-
ton, and they left him alone with his
dead.
There was " "hurrying to and fro" in
Sumner that day, for many were left
homeless many bruised and crippled
by the storm. And the mourners who
wended their way up the long hill to
the burying- ground, were as sad as
though the silence had been broken by
the toilling of solemn BELLS Kansas
HO7ltIIlJ
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
The Japanese at Table.

If bread is the staff of life with Euro
peans, so is rice with Asiatics. 1t is the
staple food of the people, and with a
little soy or pickle, or some other sim
pie condiment, is often the only food
of the lower classes in Japan from
months end to months end. They do
not rejoice in the knives, forks and
spoons of civilization, nor use their fin
gers like the East Indians, but they use
a couple of skewer-like sticks, which
they call hdShi, and we call chop. sticks,
and uncommonly deftly they apply
them to all the necessary purposes
Foreigners can manage them only after
much practice, and some can never get
the knack.
It is strikingly curious to see them
eat for the first time The rice ia
brought up in beautifully clean tub,
which holds enough for the days con
sumption. 1t is as often served cold as
hot, and the n1OdttS Operandi is as fol
lows We will suppose it is a simple
meal of the simplest classes. A small
table about nine to twelve inches
square and six TO nine inches high is
placed sometimes in the middle of the
feeders, sometimes one to each person.
On this table are two or three small
dishes-perhaps one has some slices of
cold fish, another some pickles, lily
root, green ginger and horseradish,
another little soy, and so on. A maid
servant fills a small basin, about the
size of breakfast cup, with Gozen
(rice) from the tub, and Offering one TO
each person, it is taken in the left hand,
and being held close to the mouth, tho
contents are thrust from the basin into
the mouth most cleverly ever and anon
there is pause to take a slice of the
fish, which is rendered more palatable
by being dipped in the soy. This, with
an occasional peck at the other little
dishes, forms the repast. OF course,
richer people have richer food but
although sometimes their meals con-
sists of many courses, and all beautiful
ly served, they take only peck at each,
and have a considerable interval be-
tween the courses. It is unusual to
drink with the meal, but a little warm
water suffices at its close, the richer
folks taking an occasional cup of saki
wine made from rice, between times.
If the food of the common people il
simple in the extreme, the entertain
ments of the rich are sometimes master
pieces of artistic excellence, both in the
preparation of the food and in its dis
play. Sometimes the guests may sit
round a scenic arrangement as of
luxuriant island or a beautiful domain
in petto, all the dishes being arranged
as parts of the scene. It is quite
unique, and different from any thing
seen elsewhere.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
A GRAPHIC TALE.

Mr.. Wise he wouldn't go,
And he thus broke up the show;
When up stepped bold Donaldson accordin',
Saying: "Give me plenty gas,
And promise you to pass
Like a streak, to the other side of Jordan.
So they furnished Lunt and Ford,
And the hero stepped aboard,
When the thing arose, as though twas ETHEREAL
lied,
And says Donaldson :" My boys,
Toot your horn and make noise
o the dream of my manhood now is realized"
And from the upper regions,
By the frightened carrier pigeons,
Mr.. Ford he sent dispatches light as Eden;
Saying: :" We have done our errant,
We have struck the Eastern current,
And Wen write you the particulars from Swe
den."
But the weather so seraphic
Wouldn't last /; and that 'ere q Graphic
Got blow from old Boroas, as he roar'd on
Got wind and rain and bluster,
Till the big inflated buster
Kind o. paused in its passage over Jordan.
Said Donaldson to Ford
As the monster pitched aud roar'd;
81 have left some earthly business unattended
And think I'll stop to see
If the Graphic Company
Are possessed of any gases not expended"
Said the other daring fellers,
" We forgot Qalr umberellers,
And we cannot 90 to Europe while It's rainin
Let us jump" And SO they did
And their legs were almost hid
In the marshes of the ''happy land of Canaan.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
Salmon Spawning on the Sacramento.

~@@~
If you visit this region during the
last of June or in July, you may watch
the salmon spawning, most curious
and remarkable sight. The great fish
then leave the deep pools in which they
have been quietly lying for some weeks
before, and fearlessly run up on the
shallow ripples. H re, animated by a
kind of fury, they beat the sand off the
shoals with their tails, until often a fe-
male salmon thus labors till her tail fins
are entirely worn of. She then de-
posits her eggs upon the coarse gravel,
and the greedy trout, which are ex-
travagantly fond of salmon eggs, rush
up to eat them as the poor mother lays
them. They are, / believe, watched
and beaten off by the male salmon,
which accompanies the female for this
purpose. When the female salmon has
deposited her eggs, and the male salmon
has done his part of the work, the two
often bring stones of considerable size
in their mouths to cover up the eggs,
and protect them from the predatory
attacks of the trout. And thereupon,
according to the universal testimony of
the fishermen of these waters, the sal
mon dies I was assured that the dead
bodies often cumber the shore after the
spawning season is over; and the noun
taineers all assert that the salmon, hav-
ing spawned up here, does not go down
to the ocean again. They hold that the
young salmon stay in the upper waters
for year, and go to sea about eighteen
months after Matching and it is not
uncommon, l believe, for fishermen
hereabout to catch grilse weighing from
two to four pounds. These bite some
times at the fly. The salmon bite, too,
when much smaller, for / caught one
day young salmon not more than six
inches long. This little fellow was
taken with bait of salmon eggs, and
his bright silvery sides made him quite
different from the front which / was
catching out of the same pool. His
head also had something of the fierce,
predatory, hawk-like form which the
older salmon's has. Charles Nordhof,
IN Harper'S Magazine.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
Theatrical Adventures.

An interviewer represents Miss Neil
son as saying 81 remember once play
ing in Dublin. II was in Juliet. In the
death scene, when / seized the dagger
and stabbed myself, an excited Irishman
in the pit, overcome with sympathy and
terror, shrieked, 20 Jim, she's done it. ,
I was so convulsed with laughter that i
could only get up a gigglo for the death
struggle. And again / was playing
Pauline in the Lady Of Lyons. with
weak Claude. He had been sick, and
was not strong, 40 told him when I
rushed TO him would clasp my arms
around him, and he must give way
little. / flew TO his embrace, and he
gave way indeed, and down to the floor
we both went together entangled in my
train. We gathered ourselves up IA
best we could, and ] caught him again
with fervor, and the audience tried 10
stihe their laughter, when Claude's next
words brought down the house, This
the heaviest blow of all 7 OF course
we had the Taught out then. But the
most awkward accident happened 10 mo
once in provincial theatre, where the
scenic arrangements were meagre. We
had n kitchen for the ballroom, and the
tomb was set in the midst of the gar
den shrubbery. said, THAT will never
do. Bring me some drapery. and ]
will shut off the shrubbery.' So 1 was
mounted on the top Of the tomb, en-
gagged in pinning up the improvised par
tition, when up went the curtain, and
Juliet, who should have been quietly
sleeping with the Capulets, was caught
in this very practical employment.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
The Bubble Speculations of the Last
GAnfurU

Benson j. Lossing reviews in the
PoughkeePsie Eagle the famous Missis-
sippi scheme and the South-sea bubble,
the two great financial sensations of the
last century. The Mississippi scheme
/ originated, it will be remembered, in
the bad state of the finances of the
French government. That government
lent itself to an immense scheme for
swindling the people, in order to- fill its
Golfers. The company, with John Law,
Scotchman possessing great reputa-
ton as an Amsterdam broker, as its
head, had a monopoly of the trade of
the Mississippi, on condition that it
should relieve France of its debt. The
most extravagant stories of the richness
of that valley were told, and the excite
ment among all classes at Paris was in
tense. The company was chartered,
and, after its shares had gone up to
!, 200 per cent. above par, burst. Wide
financial ruin followed, and Law died
in poverty at Vienna. The counterpart
of this organization in England, the
South-sea company, was to have mono
poly of the Soutii-sea trade and was to
confer the same favor on the British
government that Law had promised to
the French. Its shares rose to above
1000 per cent, and as a consequence q
great number of similar companies
sprung up around it. The objects of
some of them were very curious. One
was for planting of mulberry trees
and breeding of silk-worms in Chelsea
park ;" another SO for importing a num-
ber of large jackasses from Spain in
order to propagate a larger breed of
mules in England" and a clergyman
proposed a company "for discovering
the hand of Ophir," and monopolizing
the gold and silver of that country.
Toward the end of July, 1920, when
the stocks of the various London con-
Germs exceeded the value of fifteen hun
dred million dollars, news came of the
bursting of the Mississippi bubble.
The shares of the South-sea soon fell,
from $50 to 175. Shareholders pressed
the shares upon the market with the
eagerness of men fleMlng from falling
building. Thousands of families were
reduced at one single blow to absolute
poverty. Old families, whose estates
were lost, disappeared from society, and
the names OF many noblemen were
dropped from the list of the peerage of
England forever. The event stimU-
lated emigration to America, where
ruined mon hoped to retrieve their for
tunes. From the debtors prisons in
England, Oglethorpe procured most of
the first emigrants who accompanied
him to Georgia and founded that state.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
VOL. XIX, NO. 10.
CONTENT.

There are times when the troubles Of life still
The bees wandered lost in the depths Of June,
And paused where the chime of a silver rill
Sang the linnet and lark 10 their rest at noon.
Said my soul /" See how calmly the wavelets glide
Though 50 narrow their way 10 their Ocean-veut
And the world that traverse is wide, is wide,
And yet is too narrow to hold content
Z" o my soul, never say that the world IL wide
The rill in its banks is less closely pent;
1t is thou who art shoreless on every side,
And thy width will not let thee inclose content"
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

1t is related that parrot which
could sing Shoo-fy as well as any of the
gamins of New York, was sold to gen
tleman in Bridgeport a short time ago.
Another was sold that sang Up in a
Balloon SO well that it attracted crowds
of listeners. The manner in which this
bird would commence its vocalism was
somewhat amusing. 1t would say,
''Mother, what do you want to day 2"
An imaginary lady would reply, cup
in a Balloon" Tho parrot would an
swer, ''All right, come ahead" and
commence singing.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31
The Raid of a California Lioness.

Jake Bergman, an Augusta (Cal. }
ranchero, was wakened, one morning,
in September by peculiar noise among
his cattle, and, having dressed and
started for the rancho, he found them
drawn up in a perfect hollow square
with the calves in the center, while the
horns of the old ones bristling on the
outside made it look decidedly periIous
for an enemy to approach. Hardly had
Bergman reached this array when a big
California ioness sprang upon him.
He was unarmed, but was man of i'm
mense muscular power. The Two en-
braced cordially, but the brute was too
much for Bergman sine clawed the
flesh off his breast and arms in a very un-
comfortable manner. But Bergman's
Indian servant came up, and the lioness
tossed Bergman aside and went for the
red-skin, tearing it up at her own sweet
will. The brute had dug in nearly to
the poor Indians untutored heart, when
Bergman came down on her head with
a stake and crushed in her skull. This
finished her, but the two men will have
to fat up very fast to fill the hole she
made in their flesh. The animal meas
ured six feet from tip to tip, and tue
absolute emptiness of her stomach was
the cause of her raid.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

-''The toughest set of 'roosters'
that ever shook the dust from any
town, says the Reno New Journal Of
Aug. 20, 'left Reno yesterday morning
for the new mining district of Cornuco-
pia. They came here from Virginia.
Among the crowd were four New York
gun fighters, two Chicago murderers,
three Baltimore bruisers, one Philadel-
phia prize-fghter, four San Francisco
hoodlums, three Virginia beats, two
Union Pacific roughs, and two check
guerrillas.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

Crop reports from Iowa show that
the snake crop never was better. A
single blast in a quarry in Union coun-
ty, few days since, uncovered about
800 rattlesnakes alone, and naturally
enough from Iowa comes the cry that
there are not greenbacks enough in cir
culation TO move the crop
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

"A new cereal has been grown in
Oregon, and the people are puzzled as
TO whether il belongs 10 the wheat fami-
ly, or more nearly resembles rye, bar
ley or oats, opinions being very nearly
equally divided. From seven 10 ten
stalks grow from one root, 30 a height
of about four feet, and these stalks, or
straws, are thin and hard. The radicles
are tough, and spread widely The
heads are six inches in length, and
covered With a heavy beard, each fla
ment being five inches long. The grain
is double the length Of a kernel Of
wheat, and, instead of being firm and
compact, is hollow, the cavity contain
ing glutinous matter. While the grain
bears a closer resemblance 10 wheat
than anything else, the straw looks
more like that of rye or barley. It's
origin is somewhat peculiar, the first
grain having been taken from the stom-
ach OF a wild goose, by farmer in Til
lamook county, nearly three years ago.
He was struck with it's appearance, and
planted il, and the succeeding season
sowed the product. He distributed a
portion Of the second crop among few
friends in different parts OF the state,
who this year raised small quantities
II will require another year TO deter
mine the value of the grain.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

AUSTRIAN IMPRESSIONS. "A series of
caricatures now popular in Vienna gives
the Austrian impression of the beset-
ting sins of the great powers. Prussia,
a naughty dame resting upon sword,
represents pride. England is scraw-
ny female seated on cotton bale, and
is called avarice Russia goes skating
and scowling by under the name of en-
Wy. Turkey lolls on a sofa, fat odal-
isque, as luxury. France, with mans
hat in one hand and glass of champagne
in the ether, dances a decoLLete cancan,
and is called immodesty. Spain is q
wild petroleuse, and represents anger
Scotland is bonnie lassie dropping to
sleep on mountain side, as laziness.
But America has an eighth capital sin
invented to characterize her. She sits
on pile of Pub. Docs, scribbling furi-
ously the iniquity she represents bears
the uncanny name of Zeitungschreib-
erei. If American journalism be in
deed sin, there is no mistake in call
ing it a capital one.-M. Y Tribune.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

"A few days since, five geese, owned
by man living at Mormon island, Cal. +,
died from an unknown disease and, on
examining the gizzard of one, grain gold
sufficient to make a five-dollar piece
was found. The remaining four panned
out each almost the same amount of the
precious stuff. The gold was probably
picked up by the fowls near some CLAIMS
where the miners had been sluicing, and
it is presumed that the quicksilver at
tached to it caused their death.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

-MeLane's new steamer Sairy Camp,
plying between Ft. Garry and Brecken-
ridge, was for some reason denied
agress from the British possessions
should she cross into Johnny Bulls
part of Red river.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

The PoET AND THE MAN OF INTEL
LEcT.-What feculty must that be
which can paint the most barren land
scape and humblest life in glorious
eolors It is pure and invigorated
sense reacting on sound and strong
imagination. Is not this the poet'scase /?
The intellect of most men is barren. It
is the marriage of the soul with nature
that makes the intellect fruitful, that
gives birth to imagination. When we
were dead and dry as the highway,
some sense which has been healthily fed
will put us in relation with nature, in
sympathy with her, some grains of fer
tilizing pollen floating in the air fall on
us, and suddenly the sky is all one rain
bow, is full of music and fragrance and
flavor. The man of intellect only, the
prosaic man, is barren and staminifer-
Gus flower the poet is fertile and
perfect flower. The poet must keep
himself unstained and aloof. Let him
perambulate the bounds of imagination's
provinces, the realms of poesy and not
the insignificant boundaries of towns.
How many faculties there are which we
have never found Some men, me
thinks, have found only their hands and
feet THOTedu.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-31

of eighty-nine teachers at recent
state institute in Vincennes, Ind, only
ono spelled correctly q list of twenty
words.in ordinary use, and Que missed
them all,