Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1873-09-18
BETSEY AND | ARE OUT.
BY WILL CARLETON.

was written by VIII. l.. Carleton, and IL
is certainly one of those happy Lifts which
are fruitful of notoriety to their authors.
" Betsey and are Out" Is the best thing
OF the day, and our readers will agree
with us that it is not too long.l
Draw up the papers, lawyer, aud make
'em good and stout,
For things at home are crossways, and
Betsey and are out;
We who have worked toge ther so long rs
man and wife,
Must pull IN single harness for the rest of
our natral life.
"Wha: is the mattcrP" say you, swar,
les hard to tell !
Most OF the years behiad us we've pissed
by very well;
| have no other woman, she has no other
man
Only we've lived together as long as ever
We can.
And so have talked with Betsey and
Betsey has talked with me,
And so we've agreed together that We
can't never agree;
Not that we've catched each other in any
terrible crime
we've been a gathering this for years.
little at time.
There was stock of temper we both had
for start, .as
Although we never suspected 'twould
take us two apart;
l had my various feelings, bred In the
flesh and bone,
And Betsey, like all good women, had
temper of her own.
The first thing remember, whenever We
disagreed,
Twas something concerning heaven-a
difference In our creed
We arged the thing at breakfast, we
arg'eG the thingat tea,
And the more we arged the question, the
more we didn't agree.
The next thing | remember, was when
We lost COW,
She had kicked the bucket for certain,
the question was only--howp
had my own opinion and Betsey anoth-
er had,
And when we were done a-talkin, we
both of us was mad.
And the next thing remember, it started
IN 4 joke,
But full for week it lasted, and neither
Of us spoke;
And the next thing was when scolded
because she broke bowl
she said | was mean and stingy, and
hadn't any soul.
And so that bowl kept pouring discus
sons in our cup;
And 50 that blamed cow-critter was al
ways a-coming up;
And so the heaven we arg'ed no nearer to
us got,
But it gave us a taste Of somcthin'
thousand times as hot.
And so the thing kept workin' and all in
the self-same way,
Always somethin' to arg'e and something
sharp to say;
And down on US came the neighbors, a
couple o dozen strong,
And lent their kindest service to hell the
thing along.
And there has been days together and
many weary week,
We was both of us cross and spunky, and
both too proud to speak;
And | have been thinkin' and thinkin
the whole of the winter and fall,
If can't live kind with a woman, why,
then, won't live at all.
And so talked with Betsey, and Bctscy
has talked with me,
And we've agreed together that we can
never agree:
And what's hers shall be hers, and what
is mine shall be mine,
And Fll put it In the agreement and take
1t to her to sign.
Write on the paper, lawyer-the very first
paragraph
OF all the farm and live stock that she
shall have her half.
For she has helped to earn it, through
many weary day,
And it's nothing more than justice that
Betsey hss her pay.
Give her the house and homcstead--a
man can thrive and roam,
But women are skeery critters, unless
they have home;
And have always determined and never
failed to say,
If was taken away.
There is little hard money that's draw
in toPablc pay,
A couple o hundred dollars, laid by for
rainy day,
Safe in the hands of good men, and easy
to get
Put IN another clause there, and give her
the halt of that,
Yes, see you smile, sir, at my giving her
so much,
Yes, divorce is cheap, sir, but take no
stock In such;
True and fair | married her, when she
was blithe and young,
And Betsey was always kind to me, ex-
ceptin' with her tongue.
Once when was young as you, and not
so smart, perhaps,
For me. she mltened lawyer aud sew
eral other chaps
And all of them was flustered and fairly
taken down,
And for time was counted the luckies.
man in town.
And wher once had q fever-I won't for
get " soon,
was as hot as roasted turkey and crazy
as a loon;
Never an hour went by me when she was
ont OF sight
She nursed me true and tender and stuck
by me. day and night.
And II ever house was tidy, and ever
| kitchen eleah,
The house and kitchen was tidy as any
ever seen;
And don't complain of Betsey or any of
her acts,
! esrs I. 4 n