Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-12-13
LARBOARD AND SrARBOA
Effect Of Twins on a st. Louis Reporter
81. LOUIS Reporter.


A young woman in a street car with two re-
suits of her loves young dream, of year old,
sitting up in her arms like two funny little
china images. 1t is Immediately assumed that
the funny little results twins. They are
dressed alike, and have similar chubby little
lat legs, and fat dumping fists, and the turned
up fat little nose of the larboari baby is the
identical spit of the baby on the larboard, and
they are both endesvoring to make hearty meals
out of the dumplngs in the same beautiful style
of early cannibalism. They stare at each other
out of their bright goblin little eyes, a If they
were very old acqusintances indeed, and could
tell thing or two of each other if they would
but are bound by solemn compact not to dI-
vulge, until they are through with their con-
tracts for finishing the dumplngs.
They must be twins, and are 50 much alike
that nothing less than mothers instincts can
tell the difference between them, and even then
it is wonderful how she can do 1t without a
strawberry mark stamped somewhere on one of
them. Yes, looking again there is a distinc-
ton. The larboard baby has the dirtiest little
nose ever exhibited by reputable twin with
chubby legs, within the limits of q public con-
veyance. We look in wonderment at that baby's
nose, and rush to the conclusion that hydrant
has bursted somewhere in his inside. II 1t isn't
hydrant, what is it? One fact is patent-the
larboard baby cares no more for An interior n.y.
drant with nose attachment than he does for
either.
The poor little mother-she is not much big.
ger than goOd-sized family Thanksgiving
turkeys terribly anxious about the nose of the
larboard baby. AT any other time that dirty
little nose would be a well-spring of pleasure to
her, but 1t isn't now. She rubs il with strong
parental resolution, always the wrong way
and with red, cotton handkerchief, until the
nose OF the larboard baby Is as ruby red as
beet, and the larboard baby himself looks up
into her face, as if to say, 90 How long, Oh Lord,
how long?" All this time the starboard baby is
smiling wonderfully bright smiles of goblin joy,
and kicking up his absurdly chubby little legs
in way totally unmindful of the proprieties OF
heightened society. Altogether he looks as if
there were nothing in this world half so SPLEEN
did and enjoyable as the contemplation of the
dirty little nose of his larboard brother being
rubbed red hot.
We take a long five cents worth with those
chubby twins and that happy little mother with
the red cotton pocket handkerchief, and we 90
out Of our way to see her rub her larboard of
spring the wrong way OF his nose. As for the
starboard cherub, nothing can be more sublime
than his enjoyment OF his brothers martyrdom,
while both larboard and starboard continue to
elevate their legs in a most disgraceful manner,
and gum their dumplings with a perseverance
worthy of all praise. There IL, after all, one
great good in a dirty little nose as long as it
lasts, we thought, as the mother and her twins
left the car this little mother can tell larboard
from starboard if they happen to get mixed up.