The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-06-27
The wrong side-Suicide.

An unpleasant suit-IAw-suit.
A bath for everybody-Sab-b bath.
Relative beauty-a pretty cousin.
The end of candle is TO give light.
How TO get roaring trade.-Buy a
menagerie.
Romantic death-A young lady drowned
in tears.
What are the Oldest tops in the world p
Mountain tops
The old sports motto" Let US live to-
day, for tomorrow we dye"
What is the prevailing vice and desire
of bald meng To put on air.
Bacheloric exclsmation--"A lass - Maid
emily exclamation" All, men"
The man who couldn't find his match
went to- bed in the dark.
Why does a coat grow larger when taken
out of n carpet-bags Because when you
take it out you'll find 1t increases
A merry but poor man, being laughed
at for wearing short cloak. replied " 1t
will be long enough before have done
with it,"
Strayed Cattle.-In proof Of the asser-
ton that cattle will stray into strange
places, we may say that we have seen a
COW hide in shoemaker's shop
My dear boy said fond mother
"never defer until tomorrow what you
can do today" Then, mother" replied
the urchin, let's eat the plum pudding
tonight"
Dz. Johnson compared plaintiff and de-
PENDANT in an action at law, to two men
ducking their heads in bucket, and dar-
ing each other to remain the longest I'M
der water.
1.-TWO intimate friends in this city"
says Baltimore paper, had an animated
dialogue with red-hot pokers. and one Of
them has since had only one eye on things
In general.
An Irish soldier, who came over with
General Moore. being asked II he met with
much hospitality in Holland, 90. yes"
replied he, too much was in the hos
pital almost all the time / was there"
A housewife in New Orleans. in filing
up her schedule Of the census pa per, de.
scribed herself as tho head OF the family"
while, in respect TO the trade of her
husband, she wrote -" he turns my man.
gle.
Noitaire, having paid some high com.
plimenis TO the celebrated Halter, was
told that Halter was not in the habit of
speaking 80 favorably of him" All p
said Voltaire, with an air of philosophic
indulgence. " ! dare say we are both OF US
very much mistaken
Hunting the tiger. gentlemen" OBJ
served an English officer, relating his Eas.
India experience 10 friendly circle at
London club, is capital sport-no.hing
better-except when the tiger takes il
iuto his head 20 hunt you then it is apt
to become too exciting"
The most famous of spears. --shakes-
peare.
Coming to grief.-Meeting trouble half
way.
A prickly pair.-A porcupine and
hedgehog.
Bad Style of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
ameng families
Who was Richard Ill before he was
"himsclf again? p
When is a young lady Ike whale .
When she's pouting
Can anything that Is baieful be bless.
ing Yes bale full Of cotton.
4 sign in a Western city announces,
"Boots BACKED inside
Smolsy.-Mrs Gubb.ns says her husband
is exactly Ike tallow canGle, because he
always will smoke when lie is going oct.
Ant it--Swedish brandy is said TO be
favored with ants That is not SO bad as
to have ants favored with brandy.
What is the difference between farmer
and bottle Of whiskey ?-One husbands
the corr and the other corns the husbands
Pudding and tar,-An old philosopher
hath said, The woman that nIaketA
good pudding in silence is better than one
that maketh tart reply.
The mate" Are you the mate Of the
ship p asked an enigrant of The cook, who
was ~ lrisha --" No, Sir, was tbs re-
ply; - am the man who cooks the mate"
Wholesale doctoring- doctor who
was arrested because his patient diod, has
been acquitted on the ground that he did
the best he could. giving al the medicines
he knew the names Of.
How did you learn that graceful atti
tude p said q gentleman TO a drunken Eel.
low. leaning in a maudlin fashion against
apost. al have been practising at
glass" was the reply.
a pretty, rich young widow was regard.
Ing herself lately at mirror in her cham
Der. while for the first time trying on her
widows can. Behold" she exclaimed,
"the renl cap of liberty
4 revenue assessor in Ohio, asking the
usual questions, inquired
Did your wife have any income last
yeer2'
Yes, sir" replied the assessed, both
girls"
Mother" said little boy, 1--WE got
bad headache and a sore throat, too"
Well, you shall have some medicine"