Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-10-23

The recent decision of Brooklyn
Judge makes kissing perilous business
for unmarried people. 1t does not affect
those who are welded. They can smack
each other to their hearts content, pro-
vided they can find parties who enjoy that
kind of exercise. But not 50 with the un-
fortunates who happen to be unmarried.
In this particular case there IS no proof
that the gentleman made any profession
of love; he merely Booked tenderly at the
lady and aifectionately squeezed her hand.
1t was not shown that he had made a
verbal agreement to Starry the lady, but
he had kissed her; and the kiss, IN con
junction with the aforesaid tender look
and atfectioIaate hand-shake, was adjudged
legally equivalent to promise of matri-
mony, and the unwilling man was mulcted
in the sum of $500
The old prCwerb says that actions speak
louder than words A performance is
more binding than promlse. But it is
not little remarkable that the tendency
to facilitate masrimony is gainiHg strength.
We have got marriage made easy. 1t is
no longer necessary to make an audible
and solemn pledge before priest or jus
tice of the peace. Banns and ring are dis
pensed with 1t is only necessary for a
and wife, to be legally considered such,
and as such, have place in the best So
ciety. The fact carries the pledge and all
its solemn implications with it. Now, if
the decision of the Brooklyn judge is
sound, verbal eourtship is abolished,
promises are dispensed with, and
it is only necessary for an I'M
married man to look softly on an unmar-
ried woman and gently press her hand
and sweetly kiss her willing lips, and the
whole thing is settled. This condenses
the thing awfully. 1t puts the whole bu-
siness-poetry and sentiment and moon
beams and love-sick rhymes in all kinds
of metre-into a nutshell. Now, we do
not specially object to this concentration
of wooing into single short and decisive
passage. Concentration is the manifest
tendency and necessity of modern life.
We do everything on a rush. We cannot
afford to spend much time on anything
Courtships, like credits, must be short
But it does make kissing terribly peril
Gus business. And kissing is rather a
sweet, nice thing. Human beings take to
it pretty naturally. 1t is the universal
language of kindness and good feeling;
of friendship as we'll as of affection. But
what unmarried person will dare to kiss
construed into legally binding promise
of marriage? We protest against the de-
| cision on behalf of the many excellent
unmarried men and women who enjoy
kissing and being kissed, and don't want
| to be compelled to confine their express
| ions of exQuisitely fine sentiments to those
| who are married. A little tender consid-
| Grafton of the young people whose lips are
getting into kissable condition should
| have restrained our judge, who evidently
was never boy himself, or has forgotten
| all the sweetness and romance of that in
teresting period.-N. Y. Graphic.
"HEADs"-BY A SMALL BOY-Heads
are of different shapes and sizes. They
are full of notions. Large heads do not
hold the most. Some persons can tell
what man is by the shape of his head.
High heads are the best kind Very
knowing people are called long-headed.
A fellow that won't stop for anything or
anybody is called hot-headed. If he is
not quite SO bright he is called soft-head-
ed. If he won't be coaxed nor turned
they call him pig-headed. Animals have
very small heads. The heads of fools
slant back. When your head is cut of
you are beheaded Our heads are covered
with hair, except bald heads. There are
barrel heads, heads of sermons-and some
ministers used to have fifteen heads to one
sermon-pin-heads heads of cattle, as the
farmer calls his COWS and oxen; head
winds, drum-heads, cabbage-heads, logger
heads, come to head, heads Of chapters,
head him off, head of the family, and go
ahead-hut first be sure you are right
but the worst Of all heads are the dead
heads, who hang around an editor for free
tickets to shows.
| The Nick OF TIME-Panic(k).