davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-20
Humorous.

TWINS, like misfortunes, never come
singly.
YOUNG ladies' economy-Never throw
away good match.
MosT men like to see themselves in
print Ladies like to see themselves in
silks and velvet.
DRESSES woven from bamboo fibers
are the latest things for bellies to do
their bamboozling in.
RIDIcULoUsLY enough, two-hundred-
she would do if she were a sun
BEAM"
A KANSAS paper says: "The gay,
jumping grasshopper, the brown-colored
grasshopper. the cussed old grasshopper
is here"
A CHICAGO paper says that it is won
derful how quick the blind beggars of
that city can tell the difference between
ten cents and quarter.
DURING an examination, a medical
student, being asked, "When does NOR
tification ensue?" replied "When
you pop the question and are answered
No %
"DoN'T a Quaker ever take off his
hat to any one, mamma ?" "No, my
dear" If he don't take off his hat to
a barber, how does he have his hair
cut ?"
In struggling to make drll-brained
boy understand what conscience is, 4
teacher finally asked "What maR
you fee, uncomfortable after you hf
done wrong ?" 1.-THE big leather STR
feelingly replied the boy.
A GRANGER ditty: ,
want to be grange,
And with the grtngers sfend-
A horny-headefi farmer, -
With hay-stack in my haDer
Beneath the tall tomato tree -
I'll swirz the glitteriny 49,
And smite the wild potato lxaS4
As he skips DER the fnc,K[ ~
ANOTHER, In railway eaff ass on =
ger to mar at his side: 80. 'iiere Is %
anybody 1 hate in this work 4 Is
referring to prominent pro nc charac-
ter. Other man: t'Do you know
s nsm 6 from y boshooo sss Do you ??
Ou, yes, very "Clis ~ ~FI~
be that very scoundrel-'
A FEW days since seedy person ap-.
piled to wealthy citizen for help, and
received the small sum of five cents.
The giver remarked as lie handed him
the pittance "Take L; You are vel
come our ears are always open to the
distressed" "That nay be, replied
the recipient, "but rever before IN my
life have / seen so snail an opening for
such large ears.
A HORSE belonging to Marshall's coal
yard ran away on West street Tuesday
afternoon. A mar who witnessed the
affair ran out in the street, and, catch
ing hold of the tail board of the cart,
succeeded in getting in. 1t was his in
tention to grasp the reins which were
attached to th. dashboard, but as soon
as he struck on his feet, he began to
realize that coal-carts had no springs
nor other appliances for helping it over
rough PLACES. His face, which had III
the beginning an expression of mild
ferocity, Suddenly changed to series
of extraordinary grimaces and most
grotesaue and bewildering pulsations.
He made grab at the reins, but, owing
to the swful uncertainty of the carts
motion. came down on his knees in
stead, md nearly bumped his head of
on the side-board. Then he bounded
up OIL his feet again, and at once
Jumped out of the rear end of the cart
and landed square on the back OF his
heels, and Immediately turned three
bacx-somersaults before he could recov-
er from the momentum.
Neaos.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-20

A PARENT writes that he is annoyed
and panied by his young son staying
out at night, and asks remedy for this
rapidly growing evil. There are several
remedies. The most effectual is to COM
pei him to wear patched clothing.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-20
The Clergy Of Memphis.

The Protestant clergy have been every
where devoting their lives and energies 70
the alienation of the sick in Memphis.
They have knelt b.y the bedside OF the
sufferers and cheered them In their last
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-20

THE potato crop in Ireland is a
failure.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-20

East, each carrying with him, as a part
ing gift from Sam, a pair of black eyes
and swollen nose.
Sam, now left to himself, fell to drink
ing again, went about the saloons as OF
old, lifting barrels, pitching stones, and
shouldering horses for liquor. 1t was
soon observed that he was growing
weak he lifted the barrels with Difficult.
ty, and preferred to drink from glass
instead of bunghole. He grew thin
IN flesh, his muscles disappeared, and
he became the shadow of his former
self.
At this time a number of shoulder
hitters and desperadoes arrived at the
mines, and gave Sam some trouble but
he finally conquered them all, and as
the last fellow got licked he exclaimed
"Wen, if You can lick me, you can,
lick a grizzly bear" Sam swore he
could lick grizzly bear, and that sin.
gle-handed, alone, he would fight one
There was o grizzly in the camp tina.
had been caught by the miners when 6
cub, and raised by them. The bear was
now nearly full grown, and although q
great, powerful brute, was quite tame
and harmless. 1t was not long before
some wretches had arranged fight be.
tween the dumb beast and Bruiser Sam,
and the day was SET The bear was te
be chained to tree by the neck, and
Sam was to fight him one hour with his
naked fists. Sam again wentinto train
ing, with jim Peyton for his trainer,
and long before the day of the fight
Peyton reported that his pupil was IL
splendid condition, and would as soon
fight as go a-fishing."
The day came, and with it a great
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

New YORK, Sept. l2.-At Prospect
Park, yesterday, occurred one of the most
remarkable events in the annals of the
American turf The most prominent
sporting men declared that never was there
such racing on any other course in the
world, The first race was for a purse of
$400, all ages, one mile and three quar-
tiers. For this event were entered Coffee
colt Chickabiddy, Utica, Bingamen and
Mart Jordan. Bingamen and Mart Jor
dan made dead heat, and the trial be
tween them for the purse was passed over
until the other events on the card came of,
when they were called upon to decide the
matter and they had another run. The
Judges again declared the affair dead
heat. The third heat was declared dead,
and the horses were obliged to contend
again. Bingamen finally won the heat. 1t
was the most closely contested race that
ever took place in this country. Time, Bill, g,
3:264, 3ls, and 3l94.
LOUISVILLE, Sept. 12-Three of the
parties recently warned by the vigilance
committee of Clark county, Indiana, left
Charleston yesterday for the west.
New YORK, Sept l2.-The Coroner S
jury in the inquest over the body of Mar
garet Hammeil, found in the room occupied
| BY james Merrigan and wife, returned a
verdict that Miss Hammell was strangled
by Mrs. Merrigan.
John d. Irving, who eonfesses to com
plicity in the Nathan murder, has been in
dicted for burglary in the third degree.
| The grand Jury have found fifteen addi-
tional indictments against james W. John
son, and fourteen against james Yates, for
participating in the recent bond forgeries.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

PEsTILENcE A cure and sure preven-
tive. DR.. McCabe's Renowned Medicated
Blackberry Brandy has acquired such a
high reputation for the speedy cure of all
bowel affections, that unsrincipled scamps
have resorted to almost every reprehensible
device to stealitsreputation and thus perpe-
trate fraud on the public by using similar
Bottles with similar labels to the well
known genuine, filled with trash, ,deleter-
ious to life and health.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

Renne's Pain Killing Magic Oil is clean,
safe, and delicious to use. 1t does not soil
the clothing or the skin 1t does not lose
its virture by age or exposure, andin using
it for curing headache it prevents the hair
from falling or becoming prematnrelT gray,
and cleanses the scalp by curing its humors
Try IL and see
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

HENDERSON s BUcHU, the great diuretie
and unfailng remedy for all diseases Of
the Kidneys and Bladder, also for Dys-
pepsia or Indigestion, Flatulency, or Wind
in the stomach. The most distressing
cases Of Female Weakness and Uterine
Complaints are permanently cared by
Hendersons Buchu. 1t is unequaled by
any known remedy for the cure of Dropsy,
Gravel, and all Gouty and Rheumatic
affections 1t is specific remedy for ex-
pelling all Pain and Tape Worms. 1t is
prescribed by eminent physicians in
Chronic Affections of the Liver. For sale
by all druggists. See advertisement in
this issue. ,eod&wly
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

CONSTIPATION The peculiar virtues of
DR.. Prices Cream Baking Powder is shown
in cases where there is tendency to Con
stipation, food in which it is used is more
easily digested aud acts as a natural aperi-
ent to the bowels, overcoming acidity Of
the stomach and fatulency. Let those
who are dyspeptie eat food made with DR..
Price Cream Baking Powder and see how
easily it is digested We know of this
powder and also DIR. Prices Special Flaw
orings, Lemon, &C., and do not hesitate to
indorse them.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
Beware Of CounteFfeits!
JOB MOSES' SIR IAMfs GgaAFRKE's

zrs s.,s"nssig couETxRyxrrxD. DtsAs~ss, Drsgvisss
sneaoo 70 ~ the eoaaierfsts asak< greaasy proefs
Ias ssns'"s naes ths nasas a sob Moses On saeA
poeSaYe. xMn ofhsvs 2ovshisss ssssfafions The
GENUINE rills unfailin9 in the cure of Ali ahose
palninl sna asnserous dssases to which the female
and cure all suppression Of the msnssa Whsn osussd
hy cold. tnnamMaeon. or disssss In m essas n
and Limbs. FatiEue On siiEht eaertioa psirit.tso-
Of the Heart Hysteries and Whitss ths. Mi .sIst
.sry powerful, contain nothing hnrtfui % ths most
delicate constitution-
each bottle givse fuil direction and advice.
The GENUINE pilis sold At most drug storss bat
y your druxgist cannot supply the oBnUNE. do mot
be persusdsd to accapt any counterfeit or bogus
tce but scnd Ons Do1ax 70 the sole psopsistoe dob
OF sxpress office - which you will cell for the pack
age. and bcttls of the oxnuNK Pills securely and
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

We see by the Chicago papers that
PROCTOR Il GAMBLE have reduced the
price of their long established and popular
brand MoTTLED GERMAN Soar, its pres
ent price and superior quality makes it the
cheapest as well as the best soap for con-
sumers. 6-23d3m
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

SHOOT Folly AS IT FLIES, and stop
using preparations on your head which are
composed of poisons Use NATURE S HAIR
RESTORATIVE, which, by its cleanliness,
fragrance and purity commends itself.
See advertisement
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

NO. 8k& rue Ao00okQs Kof11- r
Thsse pills srs highly reoomnsndsd b. the saties
Meqieal Faculty Of France the very begt re1nedy
u Al eases Of Spesmatorrh@as or 6eminsl Weakness:
VEL VEL spine; Dsposiss 10 the Urine; Nerveas Ds-
from Abuse and secret Hxbiis. Thsr ssrs when q
ether remedies fail and havebesn used With saonisk
ing success By the leading Freoch Physicians dulne
the past u years Psmphlst OF Advice in esch bon.
q VII Be sent Frse 10 any addrsss- Price per
setlen. rsoeipx Of price hy any sdysrtsed Aesnk
OSCAR O. NOSES, u CosTI AsIyr. .Sr. HEw YoRs.
&ois General Agent fov America
Sold by Beuser q Thomas and Smith q Bonne
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
Stockholders Meeting.

NOTICE is HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE animal
IN meeting II the stock holders o. the Rockford
Rock Island s. ST. Louis Railroad Company will be
held the Office of the company in the city Of Rock
leland, iii ois, on Wednesday. the eigth day oi
October next, at 12 O'Clock, noon.
4. X. CABLE, President,
JoHN p WHIrRHEAp Secretary.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
LOCAL NOTICES.

Eaguire's great Cundurango Bitters a
pleasant and effective substitute for Vine
gar Bitters For sale by C. Speidel.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

BYRON A. BALDWIN, FrOpIletors-
Formerly of the Everett House Chicago1
The GIRARD HOUSE il frstcloss in all its appoint
ments is heated by Steam, has an elevator and con
tains $50 large airy rooms, which are neatly and
elegantly furnished II is centrally located, con
venient to the street and easy OF to all
railroads and steamers entering the city To suit
the wants of those desiring good accommodation
st reasonable rates, the terms have been made
ONLY TWO DOLLARS PER DAY
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
A Hint to Housewives. How to Keep Kitchen
Ware Clean and Bright.

Ware Clean and Bright.
Every housewife of neat and tidy habits
takes especial delight in keeping all the tin
copper and iron ware of her kitchen as
clean and bright as painstaking labor can
make them. A pride in this direction is
commendable, and always meets the smil-
ing approval of the ''tyrant man" who
pays the household bills. Remember that
Sapoho is the only thing on earth that will
make an old tarnished tin pan or rusty
kettle shine as bright as new And by the
use of Sapolio tbs the quickest and easiest
thing in the world to keep every utensil il
high state of polish.
+. F. KUNKEL's S BITTER WINE OF IRON
This truly valuable tonic has been sc
thoroughly tested by all classes Of the com
munity that it is now deemed indispensable
as Tonic medicine. 1t costs but little
purifes the blood and gives tone to thu
stomach, renovates the system and pro
longs life. Everybody should have it.
For the cure of Weak Stomachs, Gene
Tai DcDinby, 1uuASC5tious DiSCdcSo VI III
Stomach, and for all cases requiring !,
tonic
This wine includes the most agreeabI,
and efficient Salt of Iron we possess
Citrate of Magnetic Oxide, combined witt
the most agreeable of vegetable tonics-
| Yellow Peruvian Bark.
! Do you want something to strengthen
you?
| Do you want good APPETITE?
Do you want to get rid of nervousness.
Do ycu want energy?
/ Do you want to sleep wellp
DO you want to build up your constitu
ton.
Do you want to feel well?
Do you want brisk and vigorous feeling
If you do try Kunkel's Bitter Wine O
Iron.
| only ask a trial of this valuable tonic
| Beware of counterfeits, as kunkels Bit
ter Wine of Iron is the only sure and ef
fectual remedy in the known world for tn
permanent cure of Dyspepsia and Debility
and as there are number of limitations OF
fered to the public, / would caution tn
community to purchase none but the gen
uine article, manufactured by K. F. Kun
kel, and having his stamp on the cork Z
every bottle. The very fact that other
are attempting to initiate this valuabl
remedy, proves its worth and speaks vo
umes in its favor
Sold only in 81 bottles. Sold by Drug
gists and dealers everywhere, and in Roc
Island by Smith & BOnney and job
Bengston.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
RELIEF CO TEN MINUTES.

BRYAHs8 pULMOWIC WAFER0
Orxs OouQas. 0oIpe, aAsru1rA. HnonczITls So4x
IssoA1. Hoz.sz,szaa. DM11cuIf bnxATzMa, L.
hsvs 40 tnets Of msdieins aad any child vin taks
thsn Tnes.Ande hsss hssn rsssossd 70 hsalth thas
4 eAsss. Ask for BEY ANS PuIak6NiCWAFKkA
Price x6 ce4ea per hax. JOB MOSES, RrupEte-
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

To-DAY's ADVERTISEMENTS.
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

MRS. John W GRANT is DOING THE BEST
w Sind OF Laundry worn and solicits favors. She
Will collect and deliver without extra charge.
. Illinois street, next door 10 Bromiey's Jewelry
Store s.7dtf
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

1his beautiful Mower IL now so well known
throughout the United States and Europe, that II
requires no recommendation lover 1900 sold In
this country alonel The only balanced Lawn
Mower with AN ADJUSTABLE HANDLE.
l0inch cut, Croquet Mower, beautiful little
macbine for small lawns, croquet grounds, ceme-
tsry lots, easily operated BY . lad or miss Of 1s
size, sa5 2s-inch, pony, 800; 81 inch, horse for
public parks and large lawns, $la5 Every ma
chine warranted 10 give perfect satiefan.isn. We
challenge the world TO q .rial, sB5.o sB5 80. produce
machine its equal Try ic1fcuiars. "iii Duy nc
0'her' seha lOf OflaasHerlc7Unrp laasHeir,lc nv
COLT Colts "AasalhtStaA u.a lHA MOWER coNplEr
% F., AK AssoRY. HARTFORD. corS
Rock Islsna tsis iass by SPENCER . Novrs NrS,
t-tdn
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13
GIRARa HOUSE.
BYRON A BALDWIN, Proprietors

Corner Broadway and Biddle Streets,
1T LOFTS NJ,
The Rock Island daily Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1872-1873, 1873-09-13

Sold by seoser Thomas and Smith q Boupey
The sun., 1873-11-17

been discovered in France till long after II
was found in Germany. But French arr
and taste were laid ont on the decoration
Of the vases and services produced NJ
Sevrcs and IT is no wonder that such eX-
travnpaut prices are paid for the results of
this labor and artistic ability
I'm the porcelain room the history OF
modern pottery and porcelain from Sa-
raccn times TO the present is Illustrated
chiefly from one private collcoiion in this
city. made bya lady who devoted her at
tcntiou to showing the Invention, growth
and perfection of the art. The illustH-
tions of the art a> piactiscd at Sevres are
quite numerous and invariably inc. There
are. for example, two vases Of the soft
paste OF the lat century. decorated in rich
colors, with very beautiful scenes from
battles in the crusadcs painted on the one
side and arms and trophies on the other.
There are also two large vases OF th"p'il"h
of the first empire, on which are portral's
in medalions, executed with the utmost
dclicacv and skill. Other vases show other
STYLES uf decoration BRoNGNIARr was the
most eminent director of the Sevrcs fac
tory. Under his management II reached
its highest fame. There could not be u
better illustration of the richness of its
product, than the museum contains in the
series of plates, some with landscapes, some
with portraits, some with heads from an
tiqur marble, and above all set in lapis
lazuli, with heads in cameo. 1t is n re-
markablc characteristic of several OF these
plates that they have on the reverse,
under the glaze the freely executed auto
graph of BRuNGNTNRr thus: "l'U.i Ter. b.
indicating that they were done on orders
which required the personal attention and
approval Of the director himself. On the
wall of the room is u large collection Of
plate, of various fabrics. one row of which
consists of dinner plates from ScyIcs
service These have white grounds with
yellow or canary borders, ana designs in
the centre representing articles of food.
The latter are executed in gliding, and
show the perfection TO which this dccora-
tion was brought at Sevres. No other fac
tory cquallcd IL IN this work. Among the
cups and sauccrs i'm The case nearest the
window are several of Scyrrs fabric which
oNml.t the colors known ~ Bicu DIN Roi
and R0>c dt HdFiV or Roe I0mpUdot ~
II is called in France.
The sun., 1873-11-17
4 Grcnt Dincrcmcc.

The I'uipn ana 1drCrfisDr Of Rochester
discusses with much force tho indecent
conduct Of President GP> in getting his
pay doubled. Notwithstanding tho Con-ti-
tuition SAYS that the Presidents salary
shall neither bc increased ordmnishcd
during the period for which he shall have
been elected
But in this discussion the Tpion and
Adr rtis,r overluok> the important fact
that the bill passed Ivy the last Congress,
10y clause of which gen. GRANTS pay Is
supposed TO have been doubled, also con-
taius another and a later clause, 10y which
the pay is retained at the old rate TIL"
bill thus contains n contradiction; and rs
the clause keeping the rate OF s25o0O a
year stands further down In Che hill than
that raising the rate. ~ should be taken as
expressing the final will Of Congress. and
H. setting aside aud annulling the earlier
and contradictory clause.
Thus nothing is settled by this bill in re-
spect to Gen. GRANTS double pay except
the Presidents strong desire 10 get il; and
it will be the duty of Congress as soon a. il
is assembled to pass an act TO remove the
contradiction. This act should fix the
salary at 10000 n year only.
The sun., 1873-11-17
Tweed and Grccn-Why is Not Mr..
Green Indicted!

Mr. WHEELER H. pECKHAM, in opening
the case for the prosecution against M
TWEED, attributed tho alleged use of the
public money hv Mr. TWEED 10 the polti-
col necessity Of buying the new charter
through the Legislature, which he was
placed under in the year l-10 in his faht
with the Young Democracy.
Now, suppose the charge 10 bc main
tanned, nobody doubts that this was n mis-
appropriation of public moneys by Mr..
TWEED.
why, thon. should there hc any differ
euce of opinion in the ease of ANpREw H..
GKirN? MI GHEES docs not dcuy-and
IA, defenders and lnouthpicce- admlt-thnt
he employed DENrER A. HAWKINS, and
paid him out OF the city treasury, 10 in
Rueuce legislation on city matters az Al
bany. Mr., GHEES was expressly pro-
hibiGod, 10y a law passed since the alleged
misconductof of Mr. TWEED, from doing tins.
Aud this law makes the undi.puted act of
M. GREEN misdemcanor.
Why do not the Grand Jury ndict him
II j. said that Mr. JoHN FOLEY has been
before them, and submitted To- them tho
law, which is clear, and the evidence,
which is documentary and conclusive. In
deed, MIR, HAWKINS admits that he was
Employed ana paid ion this service, which
Is SO plainly Illegal.
Why do not the Grand Jury hud n hin
If one man Is 10 Doe punished and another
who is proved guilty Of the same thing :.
to go scot free and unmolestod, what sort
OF an administration of justice have we?
If Comptroller GREEN can pay out ter
thousand dollars in this way he can pay
out ten hundred thousand The principle
the same without reference to til,
amount.
How much does he intend, if he is no
indicted, TO pay out for legislation thi
winteri This is a question of peculiar in
.erest IN theee hnIl timns 10 taNnnNers.
The sun., 1873-11-17

Tho oll adug" that truth Is stranger
than netion' was verified the other day at
Mount Morris, IN this STATE. Two sisters. one
Of Wh M had been married ten wears and the
other tWcuty, resolved to have joint colchra-
tiou Wedding and hinnel Wedding
- tho guests were hidden, the rooms hcauii-
fulll hung with culured hauu" With festouns
of red yarn. the whole glittcring with tin. when
"a third sister arrived from New lurh with a
mysterious masked stranger. who proved To he
their brother. Mr.. Henry McNair, Who had hccu
absent i'm Australia more than twenty years.
The latter lady met her brother ON the cars of
the New York Central road, and was 50 struck
with the family resemblance that she begged
the gouil lrWan who escorted rtoa-h his name.
lir Trpicd, "MY name Il Johnson, a winch
the Ia Wrpt from dislpIuiutment seeing
which lc went o. her and ayNnoWlriIrd hu-
self her brother, aui between thCm thl ar
ranged the perfect surprise wlIch followed.
she ossomnrd the nearest. ."f Rim about him,
nnd raising the mas. ~lid, =" lh.H lt our long Hb
srnt hrlttor Hruty," and dead silonc. Was
folio. cd ID a hearty shout of welcome,