The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-05-23
UNCLE SAMMY.

UNCLE SAMMY.
by WILL. N. CARLETON.
Some men we're born for great things,
Some were born for small
some-it is not recorded
Why they were born at all
But Uncle Sammy certain he had legitimate
call.
Some were born with talent,
Some with scrip aud land;
Some with spoon OF silver,
And some with different brand
But Uncle sammy came holding an argument in
each hand.
Arguments sprouted within him,
And twinked in his little eye
He lay and calmly debated
When average babies cry,
And seemed to be pondering gravely whether to
live or TO die.
But prejudiced on that question
He grew from day to day,
Aud finally he concluded
Twas better for him to stay;
And so in fes discussion he reasoned and reasoned
his way.
Through childhood, through youth, into man
Argued aud argued he
And he married a simple maiden,
Though scarcely in love was she
But he reasoned the matter clearly she hardly
could help but agree.
And the new firm started strong,
And though Uncle Sammy loved her,
And tried to help her along
She faded away in silence, and twas evident some
thing was wrong.
Now Uncle Sammy was faithful,
And various remedies tried
He gave her the doctors prescriptions,
And plenty of logic besides
But logic and medicine failed him, and 80 one day
she died.
Ho laid her away in the church-yard,
so haggard and crushed and wan
And reared her a costly tombstone
With all of her virtues on;
And ought to have added, "A victim of arguments
pro and CON-"
For many year Uncle Sammy
Fired away at his logical forte;
Discussion his occupation,
And alteration his sport;
He argued himself out Of churches, he argued him
self into court
But alas for his peace and quiet,
One day, when he went 1t blind,
And followed his singular fancy
And sighted his logical mind,
And married ponderous widow that wasn't Oh the
arguing kind!
Her sentiments all were settled,
Her habits were planted and grown,
Her heart was a starved little creature
That followed a Will of her own;
And she raised high hand with Sammy, and pro-
ceeded to play it alone
Then Sammy he charged down upon her
With all of his strength and his wit,
And many a dextrous encounter,
And many fair shoulder-hit;
But vain were his blows and his blowing; he never
could bulge her bit.
He laid down his premises round her,
He scraped at her with his saws;
He rained great facts upon her,
And read hen the marriage laws;
But the harder he tried TO convince her, the harder
aud aegaf glna RNuG
She brought home all her preachers,
As many as ever she could
With sentiments terribly settled,
And appetites horribly good
Who sat with him long at his table, and explained
to him where he stood.
Amt Sammy was not long in learning
To follow the swing of her gown,
And came to be faithful in watching
The phase of her smile and her frown
And she, with the best Of assertion, soon tramped
all his arguments down.
And So with his Interpretations
Thus suddenly brought TO a check
And so, with the foot of his victor
Increasingly pressing his neck
He wrote on his face, I'm victim" and drifted-
logical wreck.
And farmers, whom he had argued
To corners tight and fast,
Would wink at each other and chuckle,
Aud grin at him as he passed,
trees Strengthened at last"
Old Uncle Sammy one morning
Lay down on his comfortess bed,
And Death and he had a discussion,
And Death came out ahead;
And the fact that failed to start him was only
because he dead.
The neighbors laid out their old neighbor,
With homely but tenderest art;
And some of the oldest faltered
And tearfully stood apart
For the crusty old had often unguardedly
shown them his heart.
But on his face an expression
Of quzzical study lay,
AS if he were sounding the angel
Who travelled with him that day,
And laying the pipes down slyly for an argument
on the way.
And one new-fashioned old lady
Felt called upon TO suggest
That the angel might take Uncle Sammy,
And give him good nights rest,
And then introduce HIM to Solomon, and tell him
to do mis- best.