, 1873-12-21
EUMCR.

The child who cried for all hour did not got
II.
IN cynical lady, rashor inclined to 11irt, saya
most men arc like cold, very easily caught, but
very hard to got rid Of.
-~Koliogga Ulouisiann) Nrctropolitans passed
d hcn-roost in Grant Parish without robbiug it.
1t was too high for them. -., -,
Tho little boy, Mt Ills first concert, innocont-
1y asked, whom tho SOPRANO sswab called back,
What's tho mattor, mother 7 Didn't she do it
right p
III 1t wasn't for tho 1o-cont stamp occa-.
sionOly found III . pnpcr Of tobacco. aconsidcrn..
Htarvo.- Cincinnati Commercial.
What Is your name little girl" "N1ln-
nie" s;, ~ "1!iunio what7 ""al'nnio Don't, man'n'a
1t is remarked that wood will Inst muc
split.
Out Wcst. where wouien arc running for
office, tho newspapers whose cantdatos havo
tho head Of their columns. 4 modest hon brools
over the glad tllingB OF election.
-" Tho evidence shows that'le sot up with
her nigh: after night, md they squozo ha1ids and
TALKED aoft, md think abe ought to have about
S23 damages" WA tho chnrge OF Kausaa Judge
to jury Ill 4 breach OF PROMISE case.
lilo Baid it was too cold to got mp, and sho
said It wasn't her place to }lindlo ares, and sho
in portlaud Nc. She. pfetty hungry by tint
timo. thought better OF 1t.
We ca''not be too caroful how wo play with
tho English language. One day, recently, Il
married lady Of Qonosoe, while adnliring tho
falla from tho Eric Railrond bridge, romarisod
"Isn't that dam nice Z"
| -alHtrcsB Ito new Borvant cir, from tho coun-
try}-" Now, Eliza, !nalio haste aud dross your
solf and mako your ],nir tidy, before your mas
| tor comes hono." Servant girl" Yoafnl. Whero
! shuli find The comb, mum :"
| IL far young creature, with penchant for
carls. thus addrossos an opistfo to i1or masculine
friend: "Oomo aud play youcur with mo this
evening"" And ho got maa, und aaid 4 ''gradu-
| nto" who Ind Huch Bpells rs that was no right
bower for him.
Tho Detroit Free Press relatca tho follow
ing, curious coincidence: - dreamed tho other
night" said Elijah, MS ho helped Ills Honor into
his oYorcoat, that asked to borrow so conts Of
! you, aud tint you l,nnded it out" "Curiol,s
coincidence" replied Ills Honor aB ho buttonea
his coat. II had tho snmo dream, except that I
told you would 500 you hung first"
aoat IN . liorso-car, next to young mnn. who
remarked, "You wouldn't bo 10 anxious to hnro
TINT scat it you know that had just gotten oyor
tue smallpox" "fllats noshing:" was the ro-
ply: "tlia Is tho first tinc that have boon ont
since having it myself" Tho young nun started
| Tor Tho front platform.
| -Grandpnpa's 1rammar.- any, Grandpa, I
call it very unfairl You know my little sister,
always comes up aud says Tow pretty she il. and
nobudy noyor comes up and says how pretty
AM" 'sYou'rc too old for such open flastcry,
my dcnr They any it to mo, instead !" "'Oh,
| como, Grandpa, you're not rrettyl"
| Inferior Crenturo-" You must make nil
your arrangements, mndam, to do this and do
TINT, without ever consulting me! Do you for
got, madam, that anl your husband tho AuH-
band whom you promised to love, honor, and
obcy?" Superior Orcatuso (ongasin2lY)-
! swell, we'll, little mnn. it's no good bong CROSS
about that. I promised, Of course but you
| know never mcant it !"
| -Whilo OH the Peninsula during the War, m
officer cnlno acroAs private belonging to ono Of
! tic most predatory companies OF tho Irish brig
ade, with tho lifoloss bodies Of goose aud = hon
tied togothor by tic legs, dangling from lis
nlllslct. "Where did you steal those. you ras-
cal =" "Faith. was marching along with Color
6orEt. N1usuiro, and the gooso-bad cess to it,
camo out mud h8scd the American flag" s'But
tho lion, sir; how about her t" ''lhe hon, bless
70. was in bad company aud laying eggs for tho
| ribbcH."
Tho Territorial Enterprise, Of virginia City,
Ney is authority for tito following incident !:
"Al,e Van cott, tho iat. fur, and powerful
preacher, Inns boon rowling tho Aletlodats Of
Nevada. mud n,nny WHO woro not Alethodists.
Sl!o goes around among tho congregation urging
| MI who have not dono 10 to join tho heavenly
catnp. Inst Sunday evening sho approached 4
| Cornish miner, wllo seemed to be much inl-
pressed, an,l laying her hand On bis shoulder,
suid My friond. aro you laborer in tho Tino-
| ynrl of tho Lord Z No, num- he replicd,
looking up Mt His fair questlouor,' u be workin
| III ce Hayngo lover lowell"