The Portland daily press., 1873-12-17
THE PRESS.
WEDNESDAY MORNING, DEC. I'd, ,7a

Gossip and Gleanings.
An imaginary quantity-A lady's age.
An old setller-A blow between the eyes.
joyless life is worse to bear than one of
active sorrOw.-Fdber.
1t is very easy to say. Take things as they
come; but suppose they don't come.
have no respect for any man who has to
feel the public pulse to learn his private duty.
III. Hastings Weld.
The man who is awfully urbane to his wife
before strangers is generally also her bane
behind their backs
We receive an unknown person according
to his dress; we take leave of him according
to his merit.-Ldnjuindis
Jones, being told that he looked seedy, and
asked what business, he was in, replied "The
hard wear business-look at my wardrobe"
Pennsylvania paper,in giving an account
of shooting affray, says the wvunded man
is expected to recover, as the ball lodged in
his dinner pail
Abidewith me: fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens, Lord. with me abide;
When other helpers fail, and comforts flee,
Hal,, ,,ogtl tl,ab aI,la. oh, liz Itch
True manhood is not fully tested until con-
fronted by adversely, brought face to face
with peril. and assailed by doubts as to the
existence OF human virtue and good faith.
Fifteen lbs. of dried apples is the minimum
charge of an Iowa editor for first-class
marriage notice. One with poetry costs
more.
Writing a sketch of his life, an Irishnlan
says that he early ran away from his father
because he discovered that he was only his
uncle.
There Is no use in being dragged through
the wo-ld like dog tied under a cart, yelping
and hanging back. What we must do, we
may as well do wilingly;as as well walk as be
dragged.-Mrs III. B. Stowe.
Life has such hard conditions that every
dear and precious gift, every rare virtue, ev-
cry pleasant facnlty, every genial endowment,
love, hope, joy, wit,sprightl ness, benevolence,
must sometimes be put into the crucble to
distill the one eelxir-paiience.-Gdit Hdmil
ton.
A French gentleman, learning English to
some purpose, replied thus to the salutations:
''How do you do, monsieur?' "Do vatp'
elbow do you find yourself?'' II never loss
es myself" ''How do you feel?'' ''Smooth
You just feel me.'
A cowardly fellow having kicked news
boy for peste ;ing him to buy an evening pa
per, the lad waited till another boy accosted
the gentleman" and then shouted, in the
hearing of all bystanders, ''Its no use to try
him, Jim !; he can'tread.
A vagabond beggar Jew applied for aims to
DR.. Raphael, the well-known Jewish rabbi,
and threatened to turn Christian if the doc
tor would not help him. The doctor said to
him: ''Very well, go. Become good
Christian, and l will be satisfied: for you
have been very bad jew"
The Peoria Rerieao says that lady teach
er in one of the public schools was amazed
the other DAY by seeing perfect forest of ju-
venile hands fly up in the air and shake and
gesticulate with violent agitation. "What
do you want?' queried the puzzled instrdc-
tor. Chorus Yer hairs falling off,
| According to the Nashua Telegraph the
meanest man lives in Lyndeborough. That
paper says man and his wife who reside In
Lyndeborough were out riding few days
ago and overtaking young lady on her way
home, invited her to ride. She accepted the
invitation and he calamity assisted her to a
seat in the carriage. As she stepped in, one
OF the springs broke and the man charged her
Is cents for repairing damages. This is the
same man who could not turn grndstone
| tor friend because he had left his spectacles
at home.