The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-04-29
A Sheriff Sold.


the bench. He rarely went to bed sober
got up every morning wrong end foremost,
and generally began the day with some
outrageous act of oppression. He was the
terror of the bar-all but Shad. Sharkie,
with whom it was his normal condition to
be several "chips'' behind at "polSer,"
which made him, on the whole, rather civil
to Shad.
One morning "Old Rum" opened court
in worse humor than usual. A bad "run
of luck" and too much bad whisky over
night had told more than commonly on his
temper.
The first thing in order was to impannel
jury of bystanders-the old jury, be-
logged by one of Old RUNS Incompetent
sible charges, being, and having been for
the last forty-eight hours, chung" on a
question of title to yearling calf sworn to
positively by six witnesses on one side and
half dozen on the other
"Call jury and be quick about it, Mr.
Bumpkin," growled the judge held the
office of sheriff, and my right name is
Lumpkin, but Old Rum would perist in
miss calling it.
The words were signal for general
stampede. To be caught on one of Old
RUNS juries was generally considered
about equivalent to going to Jail. But the
Judge ordered the doors to be closed in
time to bag sufficient number.
"James Bleerly," called out.
Jim shook his head and tipped me de-
precating wink, which / refused to under
stand.
"Take seat on the juryr p vociferated
with official emphasis.
Judge" said Jim, stepping forward,
and blandly addressing the court, "pd be
happy to oblege ye, but the fact is it's on
possible"
"What do you mean?" roared his honor.
aye see," explained Jim, "it's Pops
wash day-her name is Polly, but I call
her Pop-and she's sent me to town arter
some bluein', and onless I'm back in time
well, ye know, judge, how it is yerself"
Fierce as Old Rum was in public, it was
currently reported that he was tame
enough at home-in fact that his acquaint-
ance with the proverb Of the "gray mare"
was something more than theoretical At
all events, Jim's appeal to the courts ex-
perience had quite the opposite of sooth-
| ing effect.
"Take your seat on the jury !' thunder
ed Old Rum "and if hear any more
such impertinence Pll-Tll-"
"All right" said Jim submissively,
starting toward the jury box.
"Look'e here, Sheriff." he whispered in
passing ".jest let me go out and look arter
my critter, and I'll be back by the time
you've nabbed t'other 'leven."
T'other 'leven were speedily secured
for Old Rum would listen to no excuse
not even to that of Hans Pretzelpresser,
who [solemnly protested he could nich
oerstechen English.
els the jury full, Mr.. Bumpkin P' in.
quired the judge, looking up from his
newspaper.
"Y'yes, your honor" answered un
hesitatingly; " only Mr.. Bleerly has stepped
out to see to his horse"
"Who gave him permissionp'
had to acknowledge that did.
"And who gave you permission to give
him permisson?"
To the rather complex question,
thought it best to make no answer.
"Call the juror at the door - beloved
the judge.
The bailiff sent to do SO returned will
the report that he had seen Jim Bleerly
leaving town at full gallop, and, in pass
ing the court house, he gave a sort of mill
tary salute-but, instead of touching hi
cap, he had applied his thumb to the tip o
his nose.
Old Rum turned green and purple.
was some moments before he could com
mand utterance. Rage had fairly takei
away his breath.
"Make out an attachment for contemp
against the fugitive !" he directed the clerk
as soon as he could speak-his voice quiv,
ering with passion.
"And, Mr.. Bumpkin"-he laid marke'
expression on the this time-"if you fai
to have the culprit here before court ad
journs I'll make an example of you"
knew the old sinner we'll enough t.
know he would keep his word, especial
when he promised to do mean thing. Sc
leaving deputy in my place, l took th
writ, as soon as the clerk had signed it
and set out to serve it.
On reaching Jim's shanty-it hardl
| rnnchnd To fhe dinnihu Of n cnhin-I dntni