The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-01-30
All Sorts of Paragraphs.


Never examine mule from the back
ground.
= If three miles make league, how many
will make conference?
"A daily illustrated newspaper is to be start
ed lin New York next month. Ihlsl Is the very
latest phase of journalism.
= Husband, I don't know where that boy
got his bad temper. am sure, not from me-"
"No, my dear, for I don't find that you have
lost any,"
= Fractional currency is said to spread
smallpox. If smallpox spread fractional cur
rency, the general verdict would be- Let 1t
come"
"A new paper in Texas starts out with the
announcement that SIN religion we are conserv-
ative. and we intend to adhere to the cash sys-
tenn"
hinophlegmateblenn oclaistaiagmis
is the last name for it. A horse that wouldn't
die with such a disease as that ought to be
knocked in the head.
An applicant for pair of boots at one
Of our shoe stores was asked what number ne
wore, and replied, as soon as he could recover
from his surprise, "Why, two, of course"
An inquiring man thrust his finger into a
horses mouth to feel how many teeth he had.
The horse closed his mouth to see how many
fingers the man had. The curiosity of each
was fully satisfied
: The viceroy of Egypt, it is said, intends
to erect pyramid which will astound the
world The immense blocks of stone requisite
for it will be cut from beneath the cataracts of
tie Upper Nile; :. =. & -. ,o.., CO..
above here, mister" said ragged boy to
ously pulling up; Cos there's fork IN the
road there" was the candid reply.
= A gentleman at Lancaster, Pa, has
horse that takes his children to school in the
morning, returning home driverless and at
night returns for them in the same way, rub
bing his nose against the window-pane to indi-
cate his presence. He is ahead of "Mary's
little lamb"
.-nYou are the dulest boy 1 ever saw"
Grossly exclaimed bald-headed old uncle to
his nephew. "'Well, uncle" replied the youth,
with glance at the old gentleman's bald-head,
''can't expect me to understand things as
urickly as you do, because you don't have the
trouble of getting 'em through your hair"
= Caldwell, the United States Senator elect
from Kansas, who is on trial on the charge of
having secured his election by bribery, said,
after he had succeeded, that the contest had
cost him $4,000, but that he expected to be
reimbursed by the railroad companies.
- Two Hibernans we're passing stable
which had rooster on it for weather vane,
wien one addressed the other thus: "Pat
what's the reason they didn't put hen up
there instead of a rooster?" "An' sure," re-
piled Pat, "That's asy enough, don't you sees
it would be inconvenient to go for the eggs"
A new feature of social entertainments
this winter will be "pound parties" They de-
-, tL;, N m from tho oiroumctaDp that ach
person invited is requested so furnish pound
of pastry, confectionery, fruit, or other edibles
for the table, and thus an elegant supper is
provided. The parties are given at private
residences.
- Westward the epizootic takes it way. A
telegram from Wyoming Territory announces
thst it has reached Rawlins, and has occasioned
great inconvenience to the travelling communi-
ty ia that locality. 1t seems as if this equinal
disorder is destined to run its course through
ouG the length and breadth Of the country, and
will not cease its ravages until it has tried the
constitution of the breed of horse flesh.
= The Lancaster Republican tells this story :
"A gentleman not a thousand miles from here
NOT having a classical education, always en-
trusts the reading of his store bills to his better
haEf, who, when she comes to items of female
apparel, which she dosen't wish her husband
III,
groceries" But short time since he was
heard telling the storekeeper that his tobacco
bills were getting enormous and that he must
leave off using is or it would kill him. The,
habit, he thought, was rapidly increasing"
- One of the most profitable as well as in
teressting kinds of business for woman is the
care of bees. In recent agricultural report
it is stated that one lady bought four hives for
ten dollars and in five wears she was offered
one thousand five hundred dollars for her stock,
and refused it as not enough. In addition to
this increase of her capital, in one of these five
wears she sold twenty-five hives and four hun
drei and twenty pounds of honey.
= The Richmond Enquirer thinks the "best
way to get out of our present embarrassed con-
diton would be for every farmer to come to a
fixed determination to buy no more fnery for
his daughters on credit, to make his sons sup
pors themselves, to hire but few laborers on his
farm, (no more than are necessary in connec;
tior with the family labor,) to sell all the land
thas he cannot conveniently cultivate, and get
out of debt as rapidly as possible"
- A recent writer believes there are only
three things needed to bring about the millen-
num- First, motive power to do all the
work of steam, but require no fuel; second,
arial navigation, by which geographical and
political boundaries will be obiterated, and
the whole world become one, nation and third,
chemical food, to be made in the laboratory
without either animal or vegetable substances,
and produced so cheaply that want will be
unbeard of. .f ,.5s,
WHAT Is THE "CREDIr MoBILER T'-This
question continues to be asked, in spite Of the