Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-01-09
Wit and HumN.

/ les. SIT, repileu the assessed, DOtn
girls.
Is molasses good for a cough ?" in
CURED Jones, who had a slight cold,
and was barking with considerable en-
ergy. 1T ought to be, " said Brown,
sit is sold for consumption.
"CoME, don't be timld," said
couple of snobs to two mechanics:
"sit down and make yourselves our
equals. "To do that we should have
to blow our brains out, replied one of
the mechanics.
Do you think it safe, my dear
said husband to his wife, "for me
to take off flannel when it looks like
spring z" perhaps So" replied the
wife, " but | never saw flannel that
looks like spring"
THAT was a very tender-hearted man
who, on being told that his wife, who
had left The house only an hour before,
was drowned, and that her body was
found mile or 20 below, said "She
must have hoated down quite lively -
4 LITTLE girl came INTO one of our
shoe stores the other day to take shoes
home for her mother to select from,
What number does your motherwear,
/ sissy r. asked the merchant. "She told
me to bring some half-past tours,'
replied the little girl
HERE is a good business-like epitaph:
Here lies Jane Smith, wife of Thomas
Smith, marble cutter. This monument
was erected by her husband as n trib-
ute to her memory and specimen Of
his work, Monuments OF the same
style, $3.50"
UNCLE l.. Now. Sammy, tell me,
have yor read the beautiful story of
Joseph 2" Sam. "Oh yes, uncle"
Uncle. "Well, then, what wrong did
they do when they sold their brother2"
Sam, "They sold him too cheap uncle,
think"
A LITTLE boy asked DR., Burgess, the
preacher, if he would have light.
"No, my child, said the doctor. Il
am one of the lights of the world Il
wish then, replied the boy, "you were
hung at the end OF the alley, for it is
very dark one"
A LITTLE BOY, attending the Episco-
pal Church for the first time innocently
whispered to his mother ms the rector
appeared in his white robe, "Does he
put that on to look like the Holy
Ghost 7"
A LITTLE -year-old, of Bristol,
went to Providence, the other day, and
in the depot was accos,ed by Quaker
lady, who asked, :" How old art thou,
little girl Z" She looked up in the face
OF the Quakeress, and replied, "Tm
not art thou; I'm little Jennie.
"GENrLEMES, where do you think
that beefsteak comes from ~ said the
landlord, planting his thumbs in his
waistcoQt arm holes. From near the
horns,' was tho quiet reply of one of
the boarders. II is singular, but that
landlord has not put any conundrums
to those boarders since.
"GENTLEMEN, where do you think
that beefsteak comes from ~ said the
landlord, planting his thumb in his
waistcoat arm-holes. From near the
horns, was the quick reply of one of
the boarders. IL is singular, but that
landlord has not put any conundrums
to those boarders since.
A YOUNG lady school teacher. of
Frederick City, Nd, was endeavoring
to impress upon herpupils the terrible
effect of the punishment Of Nebuchad-
nezzar She told them that for seven
years he ate grass like COW. Just
then u small boy asked Did he give
mllk2"
A sCuoo1MAsIER had among his
pupils Yankee and Dutch boy.
Both were learning photography. The
schoolmaster required the Yankee to
spell his own name. He performed it
thus "Big a, little a-r-o-n." The
Dutch boy took the hint from this, and
answered to similar response "Big
Hans, little Hans, n"
els my face dirty ~ asked a young
lady from the back woods, on a steam
boat running from Cairo to New Orleans.
"Dirty No. Why did you ask z"
Because that insulting waiter insists
upon putting. a towel beside my plate.
I've thrown three under the table and
every time he comes around he puts
another one before me.
SOME ufHHlncfS on bf'tin III Iolb'
land recently wished to open whisky
bottle they had with them, but had no
corkscrew. "I'll get one" said one of
the number; and rising, he called out,
sis there gentleman from Portland
on the train2" A gentleman respond
ed. "Will You lend me your cork
screw27 said the drummer. The cork
screw was forthcoming
A BEGGAR asked for piece OF bread
and butter at house the other day,
and on couple of slices being offered
to him, he Immediately refused it.
whats the matterf" asked the do
nor; "isn't this good bread2" Eyes,
the breads good enough" said the
beggar. "Well, isn't the butter good,
too2' eyes, I've no fault to find with