The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1873-06-05
MOMENTUM S PROFESSOR.
Two Legs 5 or Four.


The extent to which theory often
tails In practice, is furnished by a
venerated profess Or, a most distin-
gulshed mathematician, whose works
are still used as textbooks in many
OF our institutions, and which occur
red within the compass of our own
experience.
He went to H Hethel; on his re-
turn he spent the Sabbath at Lew
iston. Monday morning he was
told the horse was sick. Neverthe-
less he started. The horse went
few rods, fell down, and broke both
thills. He then sent his wife home,
and also sent to Brunswick for an
other horse and carriage to take him
and the broken chaise home.
When the driV er came, they fast
ened the two web icles together, and
started. All went well, till they
came to the first long, steep hill be-
tween Lewiston and brunswick; on
its summit they held a consultation.
The professor had an exaggerated
idea of his streng 9Th, and said: "Mr.
Chandler, it is too much for the
horse to hold tho ese two carriages on
this steep desce mt; take the horse
out; i will get i htO the shafts"
"Professor," ri eplied Chandler "the
breeching is st rong, and so is the
arm girth."
"But the hors e, Mr.. Chandler; it
is too much for the horse. Besides
being stronger, i know how to take
advantage of TIL he descent, and can
manage it much better than the
horse.
'If the horse can't hold it, you
can't"
"Do you, sir, intend to place me,
in point of intel lligence and knowl-
edge of mocha hical forces, below a
horse? / hav made mathematics
the study of lifetime"
81 have no intention to be disre-
spectful, sir but l know that
horse understands his own business,
which is hand dling load on a hill,
better than all the professors in the
United States. was sent up here
by my employer who confdes in me
to take care Of his property. Ifyou
will take the business out of my
hands, and be horse yourself, you
must be answ werable for the conse-
quences.
The professor had habit, when
little excited, of giving nervous
twitch at the lapel of his coat, with
his right ham q.
"I," reptile d he, with most en-
phatic twitch 'assume all response
bility."
The driver, in reality, nothing
10th to witness the operation, took
out the horse, and held him by the
bride; and the professor, getting
into the shafts, took hold of them by
the ends. The forward carriage
was just des scending the hill, and the
hinder one a little way over the sum-
NIT, when the professor trod upon a
rolling stone, which caused him to
plunge forward, and increased the
velocity of his load so much, that he
was forced TO walk faster than he
desired, and exchange the slanting
position-wi ith his shoulders thrown
we'll back, and his feet braced,-
which he had at first adopted, for
perpendicul ar one. At length he
was pushed into a run the carriages
were going at a fearful rate.
At the bottom of the hill was a
brook; on each side precipitous
banks. Tt e professor was between
Scylla and Charybdis, going nine
feet at cap. In order to cramp
the forward wheel, he turned sud-
denly to the right. The shafts of
the forward carriage went two feet
into the bank, breaking both of them
short off; the lashing Of the hinder
one slipped 1t ran into the forward
one, breaking the fender, and both
vehicles turned over at the. bottom
of the hill with tremendous crash,
the learned gentleman describing a
parabola- one of his favorite figures
and landing some rods away. He
rose from the earth dirtier and wis
er man; kh hees skinned, pants torn,
a piece of skin knocked off his fore
head, and his best hat as fiat as a
pancake M nderneath the hind carri-
age and looking around him, ex-
claimed:
"Is it possible could have been
so. much deceived as to the mOmen-
tum2 1t was prodigious !"
| 81 don't know anything about mo-
mentum," exclaimed Chandler, "but
l know something about horses.
know it m axes mighty difference
about holding back a lead on steep
hin wheth er the horse has tive legs
or four, and whether he weighs one
hundred and seventy-fve or one
thousand two hundred pounds"
1t cost the professor $3.50 to as
certain how much horse power hi
rspresentsd.-Spark Of Geaia4s.