Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-09-12
CURRENT ITEMS.

bank.
AMERICAN sardines have received the
grand prize at the Vienna Exposition.
THE Siamese twins have been sum-
moned to sit on jury They Will sit
next to each other.
A PADUCAH man drowned himself
rather than go to the penitentiary for six
months.
A BALTIMORE boy thought he was gov
erned too much, and he hid in the cellar
for fourteen days.
A MAN in New Hamburg, n. Y, has
papered his horse-stalls with gold paper
and carpeted the floors.
A FISH caught at Dubuque was four feet
long and weighed fifty-nine and one-half
pounds.
CHARLESTON negroes make money by
catching sharks and trying out their oil,
which is used for greasing harness.
IMMENSE clouds of grasshoppers are
moving southwark from Utah, because
there they couldn't Utah-lize their craving
appetites.
JOSHUA NICHOLSON, who expired under
administrative circumstances lately in
Baltimore, was bigamist He cheated
the gal, if not the gallows.
AN iron bridge will be built across
Looking glass river, at Portland, just to
accommodate the ladies.
Mrs. CHRISTIAN, of Augusta, tackled a
burglar so violently the other night that
he jumped from the window She is evil
IDENTITY fighting Christian.
A PENNSYLVANIA girl went blackberry
ing five weeks ago. and when heard from
the other day was keeping house with her
husband, in Georgia.
A FOND DU LAC man has invented a
machine which harvests wheat, threshes
it and bags it, ready for market, but he
can't bring it into use this year.
EVEN a man with a wart on his nose
has rights in Baltimore. Mr. Johnson, of
that city, lately recovered $500 from a
man who spoke of him as "Warty John
SON."
THERE is nothing like exact statements
Hence, it is not reported that five inches
of rain have fallen in Boston since Au-
gust came in. The fall was only 1890
inches.
THE Romeo (Mich) Observer says man
in the township of Almont Graded eight
acres of wheat between sun and sun on a
bet Of 5000. He won the bet and had an
hour to spare.
A LOUISIANA sheriff feared that two
prisoners in his custody would be lynched
and hung i'll a bunglng manner, and so
ran them off bridge and gracefully
drowned them.
A MAN at Lansingburg, N. Y, wagered
that he could jump fifty feet, and he won
the money by jumping off building
The satisfaction of knowing that the
idiot broke his neck is withheld.
A SCOTT COUNTY KY, negress is suing
Benjamin Osborne, white man, for kill
ing her husband, laying her damages at
$4,000. Osborne has been committed,
without bail, to answer the charge.
THE St. Paul papers assert that there
is gigantic pine land ring in Minnesota
which sold 100000 feet of timber from
the public lands last year, without the
State receiving any benefit therefrom.
A GALENA, Ill, man went to the ceme-
terry, dug up his fathers grave stone, and
offered it for sale to amarble-cutter. The
Gazette triumphantly adds, as challenge
to the world, Bring on your mean menr'
Mr.. LARELLE, of Vermont, is eighty
years old, and for many years he was
bald-headed. Now new crop of black
hair is budding, and new set of natural
white teeth are inviting him to take a
chew.
THE most thoroughly ventilated man in
Oswego says Kansas paper, is a horse
thief, whom the boys followed around for
while. He has nineteen buckshot holes
in his left breast and twenty-one in his
left arm.
CARSON CITY, Nevada, is suffering from
an awful plague of flies. The humming
wv Of no
rants, says local paper, "falls upon the
ear of the passerby like the chorus
sounds of a thousand muffled drums"
A CLUB was recently organized in
Rochester, N. Y, called the Dismal Six
all the members old bachelors, whose sole
aim is to make themselves miserable.
The presiding officer is called the doleful
grand, while his deputy is known as the
vice .dOleful
A SCHOOL superintendent of Douglas
County, Col, wanted a teacher to make
his pupils pronounce "belles lettres' as il
spelled "bell's letters" The teacher re-
fused, and the superintendent sent him
notice that on account of the little prog
ress made by the Scholars" the school
would have to be closed.
Dies MONIES has no money in her trea-
sury, and the City Clerk refuses to issue
warrants to the police and other officers
for their salaries, and to creditors for their
claims, on the ground that the indebted
ness of the city already exceeds the
amount allowed by the constitution. Du-
buque is in the same fix, but the clerk
continues to issue warrants, and nobody
whistles "down brakes"
THE Coldwater (Mich.) Reporter says
that one OF the residents of that city has
been the father OF twenty-siX children, all
of whom lived to be several years of age,
and most of whom are still living This
patriarch never found his extensive flock
an encumbrance, but has ever prOspered,
and in his old age finds himself supplied
with an abundance Of this worlds goods.
A SAN FRANCISCO milliner dressed the
handSOmest of her young woman assist
ants in the choicest garments of the es-
Enlistment and put her in the show win
dow. The girl took half.recining pose
and such an immense crowd gathered to
see the milliner's beautiful sign that the
street was completely blocked and police
men had to use their clubs.
IN Moyamensing prison, says the Phil
adelphia Press, are two men, one of whom
has not seen the light OF the sun for TWEEN
ty-three years, and the other for ten years
and over both during all this time have
hung sentences of death. When these
men were convicted there were circum
stances surrounding their cases that miti
gated their crimes and restrained the Gov.
errors of the period from signing their
death warrants. The Press thinks they
have suffered enough and calls for their
pardon.