Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-04
y A BACHELORS HEADQUARTERS.

mer and left me in full charge of the
house. I like it; haven't had such u
run of liberty since we were married. I
hope she's having good time; for I can
now exercise my rights as the head OF
the family. Can't do it when she's at
home; she'll not stand it. She has
rasles and makes everybody about her
toe the mark. But I've got her now,
and I'm having things my own way.
This morning came home quite car
ly. 1t was 2 A. NJ. I'd been to the
club and got caught out in the rain.
For half an hour l couldn't find the
key-hole, which must have GOT mislaid.
felt for it everywhere, and even got
down in the yard and examined every
brick, but couldn't find it. I was i'll
the act of calling one of my neighbors,
to ask him who had carried off my front
door, when I happened to find it, and
got into the house.
In the dark I kicked over q spittoon,
but luckily didn't get any tobacco juice
on my boots. 1 hung my overcoat and
umbrella on a prong of the chandelier
and let them drip Oh The parlor carpet,
went up stairs and turned in with my
boots on. 1 thought it wasn't worth
while to pull them off, as would have
to get up in eight OF ten hours anyhow.
If my wife had been at home she'd have
had me looking an hour for the boot
jack, and would have lost that amount
of rest, which my system SO much
needed. Besides she'd made me give
a full account of myself, which I don't
like to do. / never did believe in
praising myself. It's better to let 9TH
ers speak of ones virtues. I can now
wear a shirt a week and it's nobody's
business, l don't see how I ever did
get along with that woman. The idea
of having to put on clean shirt, black
my boots and brush up my clothes ev-
cry morning, is simply ridiculous. It's
a miracle to me how I ever did it and
attend to my other affairs. I now read
the morning paper without being forced
to see an impatient woman standing
with her dress in one hand, looking
very miserable, and finally telling me
she is going down town, and wants
that paper.
Anyone to look at the house now,
would think there's no women about,
everything is so quiet and comfortable
and handy. If Iwant to do a little
figuring don't have to hunt up pen
Gil, or pen ana ink, just sit down to
one of the tables and do it with my fin
ger, and there's no one to be eternally
welding dusting brush around my
head and telling me to get out the way
till the house is cleaned up. These are
considerations that every married man
should ponder over. But when they
do ponder and resolve, what good does
it do? That's the question which is
now agitating the minds of the Ameri-
can people What good does it do ?
Not bit If these women can't have
everything their own way they swoon
off into Mysteries. AS consequence
we have to pay fifty dollar doctors
bill, and stay in the house all day, fan
ming them and promising in the end
that "we may be happy yet," before
they show any disposition to compro-
mise. Our wives are petted too much.
And this reminds me that mine won't
yield to any other treatment. under
took to prescribe more stringent rem
edy for her one day, but it threw her
into fit, more like jim-jams than any
thing know of. She broke every plate
in the house over my head, and then I
had to kiss her before she would prom
ise not to do it again. That's what
makes me say that she is set in her
ways.
There too, are the piano and guitar,
which she kept going from morning
till midnight, filling the whole neigh
borhood with discordant sounds which
she called music. Both are as mute as
, the bird-cage which was vacated last
week by strategetic movement of
tho cat.
The two hundred pots of flowers she
left me to cultivate L don't think will
produce much of crop. They're
nearly all ripe now, and there's no sign
Of flower yet. I kave watered them
twice sihce she left, but it did no good.
l recken they miss her, and are rining
away because she amt here. In this
resDect they do NOT resemble Inc to any