Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-11-20

THE friends Of Sam bubbles know him
to be as good hearted a man as ever lived
He has his faults, as who has not and
the one that annOys Mrs. bubbles the
most is that when he comes up Summit
street in the middle of the day he rarely
gets home again until late at night, and
then-well, to put it mildly-he is apt to
be outside a great deal of beer.
Nov, there is no woman in the city who
has a tDleasanter disposition than Mrs.
bubbles. But who can blame her if she
sometimes allows herself to ego for'' Sam
in an energetic way, when he comes home
late at night smelling of limburger cheese
and lager beer?
Sam says himself it is wrong, and he
don't blame her, but for all that he wishes
she wouldn't
Last Wednesday morning he was so
much excited over the coming election for
Treasurer, that he came up town to buy
some nails-so he told his wife-and he
met SO many men who were able to tell
him who was to be elected next Tuesday
that when evening came be was outside
more beer than was really necessary, and
he knew it.
"See here, Bill" said he to his crony,
my wife will make it hot for me when |
get home you bet.'
"Then don't go home" said Bill
"Ihink Pm fool?" asked Sam. Cant
[ stand blowing up better when I'm full
than | can when I'm sober?"
That was view of the case that had
not occurred to Bill, and he was compelled
to admit that Sam was right Then of a
sudden bright thought struck him.
q" | say, ole feller," said he, 'why don't
you take something to the old woman ~
"What'll take?"
ooh! Take a-a-a-" and he began
looking in the windows of the stores as if
trying to see something. Suddenly his
eyes ightened-"tak her birdn'
They were opposite Il store where a
cage and bird hung in the window
Bill" said Sam, you're not such a
cussed fool after all I'll buy bird"
He went inside, asked what they would
sell that bird and cage in the window for
and upon the man saying five dollars
paid the money and told him to edo il
up"
The merchant tied paper round the
cage so as to conceal the bird, and Sam
went home happy.
Before his wife could open her battery
of words upon him, Sam rushed forward
saying:
Here you are Mary Now don't go tc
blowing when I've brought you home
one of the best hooking birds to be found
in the city" and he handed the cage tc
her.
What woman could resist a speech like
that when it was accompanied with some
thing she desired Mrs bubbles face re
Taxed and she smiled pleasantly and
lovingly on Sam, as she removed the
paper. The bird seemed to be used tC
people for he paid no manner of attention
to Mrs. d. She chirped to it-but it did
not even wink back at her. She couldn't
make the bird move even by putting her
finger near the cage. She carried the
cage nearer the light, and her face
assumed an expression that was not
peaceable. She made rush at Sam who
was half asleep in his chair from the
effects of too much beer.
"Iou wretched sot, to play such trick
upon me; I'll learn you to bring home an
ola stuffed bird, you miserable loafel
your and she smashed the cage over his
head and pounded him in a terrible man
ncr.
Sam swears as soon as his face gets
better he is going to see that man who
sold him the bird.-70ledo Blade.