The Van Buren press., 1873-07-22
Budget Of Scissorings.
The squire's Visitors
How Rarai Relaticss arc 7isatecl,s Peoria

How Rarai Relaacss arc 7isaieaE Peoria
Squire Binks, a retired old gentleman,
lives away down en- Seventh street The
other merninr three old ladies from Ma
con county came 10 his house on visit
They used to know his wife before she
was married The Squire welcomed
them 10 his mansion, and then went out
TO the barn and swere for halt an hour
While he was seothin. himself thus his
wife called him into the heusa She
handed him au umbrella 10 keep on tue
sun, and said the ladies had LEFT some
things there for him to briag mp. SO he
brought them up, making two round
trips for the baskets, band-boxes, and
two black oil cloth travelling bags, all OF
which the Squire discourteously called
.infsrkal old traps
Ashe sat in the the back kitchen wipng
his brow, his wife came out snd sad
there was not Ais OF sugar or tea IN the
house, and she remarked that while he
was going down town he might get the
molasses Jug filed The Squire asked
her how long those migratory old pell.
cans were going to stay And she asked
him if be thought she would be 50 rude
as to ask them The Squire went down
and laid in the groceries When he got
back his wife SAID she had forgotten
something, and thought Of it when 1t was
lust too late. She must have some corn
strch The Squire asked her If any Of
the old scare crows had dropped the
least hint as 10 the duration OF their Wis
IT. She said not. The Squire looked
sad and dscontented
When hs laid the paper Of corn starch
on the kitchen table his wife said thsy
must have a Goldfish for dinner, One OF
the ladies said, in the course of converse.
ton. that she was fond of Goldfish The
Squire asked if the old buzzards had yet
committed themselves as to the extent Of
their roost She said he had ought to
be ashamed Of himself.
When he slapped the Goldfish down on
the table With whang, his wife got hiu
TO bring in some water and some wood,
said Mrs Spoonauger said she never di0
ed without ale, and the Squire was asked
if he would go down and bring up bot
tie lie asked ii he should 20 into the
parlor and get these old oormoran,s 90
make cut list of what they did like, aud
furthermore asked if they were yet silent
as to when they thought that they would
go away
He got the ale, and for fear that be
would have to go dewu town again, h,
hired an express wagon and loaded II,
with all sorts OF garden truck bottle oI
whisky, box Of sariines, y poGgd "
snuff, some cove oysters, dried apple.
beans, smoked tongue eut and dried I9
bacco, picked wsnu's canned corn,
mackerel, split peas, cabbage, onions Gu
cumbers, etc
The next day the Squire went down
town only eight times.
Early thos next morning he started in.
to the country 10 see man When he
got home be asked his wife il any time
had been set for the departure. On the
evening Of the following Monday one OF
the ladies said she thought they ought to
start on the following Friday, 80 az to
reach home before Sunday Mrs Binks
said they oughtn't to be IN a hurry. THy
Squire groaned, and said they ought to
stay and make their visit out On Fri
day morning the Squire had an express
wagon before the door. But his Wit,
said the ladies had concluded to stay un'
Ill after the Fourth Then the Squire
went out to saw wood aud have a llittl,
conversation with himself.