New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1873-07-06
My Sanguinary Career In London.

1t is absolutely essential to Californian
entering London society that he has slain
at least one grizzly bear. This is expected
and required of him. Once l became gar
rulous over my old camp and mountain
life. Said an English lady, But yOn must
have been afraid OF wild beasts, al alone
in the forest.
laughed maLly laugh of derlsiOn.
Did YOU ever kill wild beast" asked
the tender BritOn.
have never killed anything larger than
a squirrel in my life. Several times before
l had been asked this question. With an
over-conscientious regard tor yeraclty,
had answered nay At once l sunk in
popular estimation. Here was the crisis
again. Three young ladies were anxiously
awaiting my answer-two OF them lineal
descendants OF William the ConquerOr.
They expected me to be Nimrodish.
l said then to myself: "Strict veracity
and must part company for awhile. Strict
veracity keeps me from shining. The Brit
ish public expect bold, startling deeds from
a dweller in the western wilds of America.
The British public shall not be disappointed.
must launch slain wild beast upon them.
1t shall figure prominently at all social
gatherings. l will tell the story so often
that Will believe it myself. l will also
hint vaguely of some dark and dreadful
deed, ali my own. In social converse my
countenance shall fall suddenly; l shall
hesitate; dreadful recollection shall, for
the moment, seem to overwhelm me; l will
recover; will shake it off; will be myself
again"
/ commenced my new career that same
evening. said had once killed a coyote.
brought the beast out modestly. as though
to me there seemed nothing particularly
brave or meritoriOus in the act.
'.And what is a cOyOte!" asked the lady.
Should l say that it was mean, sneaking,
cowardly animal, and thus rob myself Of
all my rising reputation.
said that the coyote was great, gaunt,
powerful animal, with q roar like lion,
and more dangerous even than the grizzly.
l said that single one had been known to
put whole village TO flight and that in
his merciless career he spared neither age,
sex nor responsibility. l told how | had
slain one, after desperate fight. l showed
one scar, where I had run jack-knife in
my hand when boy.
NV success astOnishes and dazzles me.
These innocent British maidens are so hun
CRY for stories of this descriptiOn-they
swallow them with such keen relish-it is
unkind to deny them. am now hero. I
retouch and re-embellish the tale for every
new party. Eventually am to bring out
grizzly and an Indian-slaia both in single
combat. These little tictions are .justfable.
They amuse; they interest; they are ex-
pected. The end iustiies the means.
The American Of the farther West, in the
respectable British imagination, is a reck-
less. blOOdthirsty, impetuOus, vindictive
being, hung with six-shOOters and bowie
knives. Seated between two gentlemen,
one evening, at q social gathering, the con-
versatiOn ran thus:
"You are an American ~
IL am an Americana Californian"
"Ah! and is it true that you people on
the frontier have so many rows"
"Much that is said is true
"And have you ever killed man,
stared. Thought there was an intent
to quiz me. No. The querists were two
honest, innocent English artists, who
deemed that nearly everything in the uni
verse worth knowing or seeing was to be
found in London, and that all humanity
living without the happy. blessed bounda.
ries of England led vague, wretched sort
of existence.
hesitated in my answer. Perhaps one
of the gentlemen mistOok that hesitation
for the momentary confusion Of remorse, as
memory, agitated by such q question. ran
over its long list of victims. He apoIogized.
said then that I had never killed any
| body. do not think was believed. NY
delay in answering, and my apparent con-
fusion. however, raised me in their estima-
ton. They now held. me as Western des-
peradO, too modest to confess his crimes.
The English have quite passion for the
occidental rutfian.
/ saw now so wildly how great had been
nv neglect to have lived full sixteen years
in the rOhghest, widest, most lawless camps
in California, without killing at least one
man: to have lived where the shooting
scrape' was q semi-weekly institution;
where every one went ''heeled" with del
ringers, knives and revolvers; where the
great pier glass behind the bar at the Long
Tom saloon was trebled in value Dy the
| bullet hole through it, sent thither during a
l now mOurned neglected opportunities.
could not truthfully say, Il, too, have
slain Peruvian y
sBut there is great deal of shooting and
cutting among your people. remarked the
gentleman.
perceived that these men were hungry
for a meal of Wild Western, bloody fiction
1t was cruel to deny them.
said: Certainly. We shoot much. We
shoot often. We shoot socially If, for in
stance, the company be sitting about the
stove in the Rifle saloon, and the CONVEX
sation flags, and things generally are dull
nothing is more common than for gentle
man to get up, stretch himself, draw his
revolver, cock it, flourish it about his head
and proclaim himself the royal Bengal
tiger Of the Southern mines. Then the
sluggish blood begins to quicken in the
veins of some other gentleman, and he gets
up, stretches himself, draws his revolver
cocks it, t1ourishes it about and proclaims
himself another royal Bengal tiger of the
Southern mines. Then are heard ten or
twelve short sharp reports. The lights are
blown out by the conclusions. The rival
Bengal tigers shoot about at random
in the dark and hit every body else
save themselves. The unhurt portion
of the company scramble behind the bar
and under the billiard tables, and cry out,
| Don't shoot this way When the barrels
| of both revolvers are empt.ed the COM
each other all to pieces with bowie knives;
| although, when lights are brought, it turns
out to be somebody else. Then the two
royal Bengals shake hands; fraternize over
| a drink and go off together to the gun
| smiths to get their pistols reloaded The
! survivors pick up the dead and wounded.
| There is great deal of talk over the affair
| for several days. The bodies are kept I'M
| til Sunday. Then there is splendid flu
neral. The Odd Fellows, the Masons, the
kmilitary companies and the temperance
societies all turn out with music and ban
ners The Sunday school children, dressed
IN white, appear in the procession,
| sin ing. There is happy land, far,
| far away etc. The minister breaches
a very affecting discourse, and is very
careful not to say anything which may
wound the feelings of the two Bengal
| tigers, who stand in the front pew. over
looking the cotfins as chief mourners, hold,
ing together by their left hands the same
hymn book as they sing out of it, while the
| right of either grasps his revolver, ready to
send ball through the clerical organiza
ton should he say anything in the funeral
sermon personally offensive to them. Ev
erybody for twenty miles around comes OF
horseback and in buggies. The saloons
and shops do good business, and the day