Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-05-09
Shooting Stars.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


MosT people are like an egg, too phull
ov themselfs to hold emmy thing else.
Thare liz this difference between genius
and talent, one IL natral reservoi, and
the other haz tew be kontinually pumpt
up.
MISERY luvs kompany," but kant bear
kompetishun, thare aint nobody but what
thinks thare bile iz the sorest bile in mar
kit.
A reputashun for honor once lost il lost
forever.
Men who kno the least alwus argy the
most
a Growing hen, and kakling rooster,
are the poorest kind ov poultry.
To be a big man amung big men liz what
proves a mans karakter-to be bul frog
amung tadpoles don't amount to mutch.
What blessed thing it liz that we kant
"sce Ourselfs az others see us'-the sight
would take all the starch out of us.
Thare IL lots ov pholks in this wurld
who can keep nine out ov ten ov the com
mandments without emmy trubble at all,
but the one that IL left they kant keep the
small end ov.
EXcentricitys are most alwus artyfishall,
and the best that kan be sed ov them IL,
they are quite az often the result ov diff
dence az Ov vanity.
Faith wont make man virtewous, but
it makes what virtew he haz got red hot.
Those who expekt to keep themselfs
pure in this life must keep their souls bill
ing all the time, like a pot, and keep all
the time skimming the surface.
Thare is nothing SO delishus tew the
soul ov man az an occasional moment ov
sadness.
The man whose only plezzure in this
life, liz making mummy, weighs less on the
moral skales than an angle-worm.
Manner is far more attraktive than mat.
ter-monkeys are watched clusser than
eagles are.
Jelous people alwus luv themselfs more
than they do thozc whom they are jcl-
Gus ov.
Curiosity IL the germ ov all enter
prizes-men dig for woodchucks more for
curiosity than they do for woodchucks
Men don't fall so often in this world
from want ov right motives, az they do
from lack ov grip.
There IL only two men in this world
who never make emmy blunders, and they
are y0u and me, mi friend.
Every man seems tew hav hiZ price eX-
cept the news-monger; they prefer to work
for nothing, and board themselfs
Gung man, yu kant learn ennything hi
hearing yurself talk, but yu may possibly
by hearing others.
Thare IL no one who kan disregard with
the proprietys ov life, but there
are menny people who, if they amt prop
per amt nothing.
Thare IL lots ov folks in this world
whom yu kan bio up like bladder, and
then xix them az high az you pleze.
hav alwus notissed one thing, that
when a cunning man burns hiz fingers,
every boldly hOllers for joy.
| kant tell now whether goose stands |
on one leg so mulch to rest the leg as to |
rest the goose. / wish sum scientifick |
man would tell me all about this.
Thare IL newmerous individuals in the |
land who look upon what they haint got |
az the only things worth having.
Thare IL thoze who kant laff with i'm |
punity; if they aint stiff and sollum they |
lint nothing.
A fu branes in mans he'd are az noizy |
~ shot in blown up bladder.
Ventilashun IL good thing, but when |
a man kant lay down and sleep in a 10 |
iker lot without taking down two lengths |
" fence to let the wind in he IL altogether |
90 airish. ~
/ think that a hen who undertakes tew /
ay 2 eggs day must necessarily neglekt |
sum other branch Ov bizZness.
He who really deserves friends alwus
inds them.
Thare IL "menny slip between cup
md lip" but not half az menny az thare
ought tew be.
The two most important words in emmy
anguage are the shortest" Yes - and
No"
Men hav more vanity than wimmin,
md wimmin have more Jealousy than
men.
Rather than not hav faith in emmy thing,
am willing tow be beat times out ov
70.
In whipping yung one, yu don't never
,ught tew stop until yu git klean thru.
Idont never hav emmy trubble in regu-
ating mi own kondukt, but tew keep
'ther phOlks straight IL what bOthers me.
N, Y. Weekly