The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1873-03-05
MARK TWAIN's ACCOUNT OF
''IJIM SMILEY. "

As Related by simon wheeler, F"sq., ri
Angels Camp, Ca'averns County, Cali
fOrnIR, on being asked for infOrInnt,2 ion
concerning certain Rev. LeOnidas w
smiley.
There was fci,yw here once by the
name IF Jim 5mil, Y. in the winter of
49-or may be it was the spring Of 30
I don't recoIlect exactly, somehow,
though, what makes me think it wns
one or the other is because I remember
the big hume wasn't finished when h.
first camo to the &np; but anyway, he
was the curiouscst man about betting
on anything that turned mp vou ever
see, if he could get anybody to m't on
the other side and if he couldn't, he'd
change sides. Any way tt at suited the
other man would suit him--any way,
Just so he's got bet, he was satisfied.
But still he was lucky, uncommon
| lucky; he almost always came out win
ner IL vas always ready and laying
! for charce; there couldn't he TO sol
itary thing mentioned but that f"llcr'd
offer to bet on it, and take any sid" you
please, as was just telling yu.t If
these was horse race you'd find him
| flush or you'd find him busted ut the
end of it; if there was Il dog fight he'd
bet on it; if there was cat fight he'd
bet on it q; if there was Il chicken fight
he'd bet on it; why, if there wa9 two
birds setting on a fence, he'd bet you
which one would fly first; or if there
was camp-meeting, he would BE- there
| reg lar, to bet on ParsOn Walker, which
he Judged to be the best exhOrter about
here-and so he was too, and a good
man. If he even saw II straddle bug
start TO go anywhere, he would bet you
how long it would take him to get where
ever he was going to, and if you took
him up he would follow that strabdle-
bug to Mexico but what he found out
where h. was bound for and how long
he son the road. Lots of the boys
here has seen that Smiley, and can tell
you about him. Why, it never made
no difference to him-he would let on
anything-the dangdest feIler. Parson
Walkers wife laid very sick once, for a
good while, and it seemed as if they
warn't going to save her. But one
morning he came in, and Smiley asked
how she was, and he said she was con-
siderably better-thank the Lord for
his infinite mcrcy-and coming on so
smart that, with the blessing of Provi=
dence, she'd get we'll yet; and Smiley,
before he thought, says, Well, II
risk two and half that she don't any
way
This yer Smiley had a mare-the
boys called her the fifteen minute nag,
but that was Mly in fun, you know, be-
cause of course she was faster than that
and he used to win money on that
horse for sll she was 50 slow, and al
ways mad the the asthma, or the dis
temper, or the consumption, or some
thing of that kind. They used to give
her two or three hundred yards start,
and then pass her under way; hut al
ways at the fag end Of the race she'd
get excited and desperate like, and come
cavorting and straddling up, and scat
terfng her legs around timber, some
times in the air, and sometimes out to
one side among the fences, and kicking
up more dust and raising more
racket with her coughing and sneezing
and blowing hor nose--and always fetch
UP at the stand just about a neck ahead,
as near as you could cipher it down.
And he had little small bull pup,
that to look at him you'd think he want
worth cent but to set around and look
ornery, and lay for chance to steal
something. But as soon as the money
VS. put up on him he was n different
dog his under jaw'd begin to stick out
like the fo'castle of steamboat, and
his teeth would uncover, and shine
savage like the furnaces. And dog
might tackle him, and bully-rag him,
and bite him, and throw him over his
shoulder two or three timee, and An
drew Jackson-which WAS the name of
tile pup-Audrew Jackson would never
let on but what he was satisfied, and
hadn't expected nothing else--and the
bets being doubled and doubled on the
other side all the time, till the money
was all up and then all of sudden he
would grab the other deg jest by the
lint of the hi I'd leg and freeze to it, not
chaw, you understand, but only jest
grip and hang on till they throwcd up
the sponge, if it was year. Smiley
always came out winner on that pup,
till he harnessed dog once that didn't
have no hind legs, because they'd been
sawed off by circular saw, and when
the thing had gone along far enough,
and the money was all up, and he came
to make snatch for his pet holt, he
saw in a minute how hid been imposed
on, and how the otter dog had him in
the door, so to speak, and he 'peared
surprised. and then he looked sorter
discouraged like, and didn't try TO win
the fight, and so he got shucked out
bad. He gave Smiley a look, as much
as to say his heart was broke, and it
was his fault, putting up dog that
hadn't no hind legs for him to take
hold Of, which was his main dependence
in a fight, and then he limped off a
piece, and laid down and died. 1t was
q good pup, was that Andrew Jackson,
and would have made name for him
self if he'd lived, for the stuff was in
him, and he had genius; ! know it, be
cause he hadn't had any opportunities
to speak Of, and it don't stand to rea,
! -- III - L.. ,g.,,J IL s,,,.Jya srfoL a Fl ryht