The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-12-27
Mark Twain on Woman.

Mark Twain on Woman.
Mark Twain, the well-known hu
morist, replied to the toast of the ladieI
at the festival of the Scottish Corpora
tion Of London on December l. Ii
doing so, he said: I am proud, indeed
Of the distinction of being chosen to res
pond to this especial toast, to "the Ia
Dies" or to woman, if you please. fol
that Is the preferable term, perhaps
it is Certainly the older, and therefore
the more entitled to reverence. (Laugh'
ter) l have noticed that the Bible
with that plain blunt honesty which il
such a conspicuous characteristic o.
the Scriptures, is always particular tc
never refer to even the illustrious moth.
er OF mankind herself as a lady" bu
speaks Of her as woman. Laugh.
ter } 1t is odd, but you will find that
it is 80. lam peculiarly proud Of this
honor, because / think that the toast tc
woman is one which, by right and by
every rule Of gallsntry, should take pre-
cedence OF all others-ot the army, OIL
the navy, OF even royalty itself, perhaps
though the latter is not necessary in
this day and in this land, for the reason
that, tsci,ly, you do drink health to
all good women when you drink the
health OF the Queen OF England and The
Princers of Wales. cloud cheers.)
have in mind poem just now which il
familiar 10 you all, familiar to every.
body. And what an inspiration tnat
was (and how instantly the present
toast recalls the verses to all oul
minds) when the most noble, the mos
gracious, the purest and sweetest OF al
poets says:
woman; o, woman '---nr---
I-Qsughter)-hovever "a rrmcmt ter
the lines, and you remember how iccl-
ipgly, how daintily, how aImost i'm >
perccptibly the verses raise up before
you, feature by feature, the ideal -. :.
true and perfect woman, and how, "a
yon contemplate the finished marvrr
your homage grows into worship OF l4s
intellect that could create so fair thing
out OF mere breath. mere words. And
you call to mind now as | speak how
the poet, with stern fidelity to the
history OF all humanity, delivers this
beautiful child OF his heart and
his brain over to the trials and
the sorrows that must come to all
sooner or later that abide in the earth !;
and how the pathetic story eliminates
in that ao0straphr-3n Wild, 30 regrets
ful, - IL" g.. m"Iruha rstro5peCtion.
The lines Iun thus:
"Alas! !-aias !-a-alas.
--AlaS,- - - alas!
and SO or. (Lsughter) | do not
remember the rest; but, taken alto.
gether, ii seems 10 me that poem is the
nobleet tribute to woman that human
genius has ever brought forth-(lsugh-
ter)-and ! feel that if | were to talk
hours / could not do my great theme
completer or more graceful justice than
| have now done in simply quoting that
poets matchless words. (Renewed
laughter) The phases Of the womanly
nature are infinite in their variety.
Take any type Of woman, and you shall
find in it something to respect, some-
thing 10 admire, something to love.
And you shall find the whole joining
YOU heart and hand. Who was more
patriotic than Joan of Arc? VINO
was braver? Who has given US
a grader instance OF eelf-sacrifcing
More laughter.) The story Of the
world is adorned with the names OF IL
lustrious ones OF our own se9--some Of
them sons OF 81. Andrew too-Scott
Bruce, Burns, the warrior Walsce, Ben
Nevis-( laughter )-the gifted Ben Lor
mond, and the great new ScotChmap,
Ben Disraeli. (Great langhter) Out
of the great plains Of history tower
whole mountain ranges OF sublime wo-
men-the Queen Of Sheba, JOSEF hine,
Semirsmis, Sairey, Grampan, the lst is
endless (laughter)-but will not call
the mighty roll, the names rise up 10 our
own memories at the mere suggestion,
luminous with the glory of deeds that
cannot die, hallowed by the loving wor-
ship OF the good and the true
OF all epochs and all climes
Cheers Suffice it for our
pride and our honor that we in our day |
have added to it such names as those
OF Grace Darling and Florence Nigbtin-
gale. (Cheers) Woman is all that
She should be-gentle, patient, long
suffering, trustfuI, unsetish, 'ull OF
generous impulses. 1t is her blessed |
mission to comfort the borrowing, plead
for the erring, encourage the faint OF
purpose, succor the distressed, uplitt
the fallen, befriend the iriendless-in a
word, afford the healing OF her spmpa-
thies and home in her heart for all
the bruised and persecuted children Of
misfortune that knock at its hospitable
door. (Cheers)
oT (oI,on;,ro bo,a Gpsl