The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-07-18
UNCLE BArcHELoR's OPINIONS,
rpron IN. Illustrated London News.l

IL
A." because there's Her in hermit; ana
that's an objection to the name.
at know" said my mother, who was
aIwavs arranging ideal matches
know the very person for you, uncle f;
Il supposed as much" interposed
y.Don't interrupt me when I'm talk
;ro, for vour good. I'm going to say IT'S
a fadv who has retired from the world
"kb y, said uncle; ga widow
eyes answered my mother, young
and handsome. D..,i.I,
W @Won't do. returned Uncle Bachelors
then he added somewhat sentenuously,'
stA voung and handsome WIDOW, VINO
rat;ras from the world, does so, like
child secreting itself behind a curtain
IN q oame of hide-and-seek. 1t Is that
sbe NAV be sought for, found, ana
brought out again: A.. ..,
.;.o Gov, ." asked cousin Annie, VIII
fully. A. CONTRARY
ne as tbe French express 1t, returned
Uncle Bachelor land the French use
the word very happily. .L
"Rnt said my uncle, why on
aortb s6ould lovers call their sweet
hearts angels All the angels Ia
-, we've auy warrant for believing,
are of the male sex.
And here the old gentleman, who was
a bit of theologian, began llst from
81 Michael downwards. he certainly
had the best Of the argument.
However much you may abuse us
moor women" ssid Mary TO Uncle
RotcbaIor one day, " at all events, your
own that we're more self-denying than
men," ,.yo,,r soc-
r;fce yourselves to gain your object;
GTIa Papans," observed Matilda,
who was we'll read, and trusted much
tn tba snddenness of her mode OF at
tooI- ON Uncle Bachelor, " the fagans
,,ora able TO appreciate women. lhey
r,ada tbe oraces and the muses. women;
g Yes I" returned my uncle, as ready
os Dr Iimpriere himself, and the fu-
ries too" -.,:..;,,,s ,,ircb
of snuff. rp ,-;a5 ont
1;t+la Emmy. coming to the rescue,
G.'I 90 ISaor Or nascitltr non Ut. Go and
Iool, tbot ont in the dictionary, Ma
| tilda." -.,s ar;,o a
,,;,oL ~ ranoee as he disappeared.
Nv father and mother were III the
,,;dSIe Of a domestic argument when
uncIe came in. Mother stralghtway
fell to weeping, and my iather gavSS IL -.
| al never understood the force ol WI
Tor Jobn {" remarked Uncle Bachelor
70 INV father, "until / saw your WIG
c,.v = Her tears turned the argument.
!; 7 cot the best of it, said my father,
as far as the grounds oil re"sOi'iNe 3
went" ..,,,;ro,
% ,bo word "Yes, you might have
won there; but she conquered Dy wa
ter" q. I,;t
sc t6aolopiap. A Catholic priest
used to visit at our house, ana hoenis
gave uncle greater pleasure than 70 I eA
90 o19ne ont various points of difference
Sotvreen them in which warfare uncle
aIHovs came out second best, except
once. and this was the occasion.
You've only got six sacraments III
ro,r church. "my uncle asserted.
"Six y exclaimed his reverence, as
tonisbed. "Why, Mr.. Bachelor, there
are seven. .-y ,,,,,l,,
"I know better, retorted my uloi'
"you've only six.
mildly. feeling sure of his ground, - t'
enumerate them. Two are the same a.
with you -
"Quite so" answered uncle, compla
Gently. . III.
"fhen," continued the priest, check
inc them off on his fingers, "there's pc
nance, maIrimony -
"Stop 70 interrupted uncle, his eye'
tvinklinp. "That's where you're
wrong Penance and matrimony are the
His reverence laughed; and 80 the.
passed their evening pleasantly to
gether. TN.
clos said ?" asked my uncle of my cousii
Frank. who wasn't prospering very wei
in a love affair.
"No replied Frank, who didn't car,
[ twopence for Ninon in Longclothes, a
2 he called her.
5 NV uncle read out, ''On ne pren'
, mas Ia femme par des prieres no par lie
. raisonnements, on la prend. r,
= "Huln p muttered Frank,
Y stand no more shilly-shallying.
=. FranL was wild because Miss Whine
:. lev fiirted with all the officers of In
j. 10th at the county ball. / don't thin
n Uncle Batchelor's observations gay
L him much comfort.
s "a coouette." " said uncle, is like a
ovster-eater; she takes men by th
), dozen" A.,
n "Confound her" said young Franz
II who was a very boyish.looking iellow.
v "Yes." went on Uncle BatcheloI
r crueIIy; land she prefers them wit
n the boards ON -
It A married couple who were stayln
II with MS were always quarrelling. w
st husband left us for journey. II
d wife accompanied him TO the train.
IS "To make sure that he does go
sr said my uncle.
y She wept very much.
20 "My dear madame" said my uncl
b. quietly, "restrain your tears TIL ne
IL turns !"
st She gave him such lSok ! My unc
ne snuffed.
y. Inever recollect my uncle being mo
~ delighted DIV bHt hcciu'hNsai N'A
pit ton of his expressed opinion on mat
e, monv than on one occasion when
p, happened TO be st dinner, in the nor
u country, with number Of middle-ag
IL married men.
1T MY uncle boasted his freedom, tn
b. theirs. My uncle was nowhere agar
or such a cloud Of Witnesses cloud, L
4 in proof their freedom, they we're
ny smoking, and moreover, did not spi
u the wine. As the bottles passed 80 th
NJ; grew more quart-valiant IN ther Ass
ed tions of domestic liberty.
MS Gas for me, " said the master oi {
'es house, loudly and boldly, lin my o
ice house I am an autocrat, a perfect JUN
re- Cesar"
rt, His wife opened the door. .,
r 1 "I,ook here, gentlemen J. SAID 81
vas in her northern, sharp manner, ''yo2l
the better all go home, And as tor Jul
4, | A., Iar AiqpOp1fttnd hi