The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-07-12

tassium.
"A Cairo pound keeper has resigned
because the common council objected
to his writing Hon. before his name.
The divorce lawyers in Chicago were
recently Mortified by the announcement
of a silver wedding in that city.
Jones, who has lately been married,
says that eonrtship is bliss, but matri-
mony is blister.
A book entitled ''Lectures TO Married
Men" has appeared in England. Have
they not had their share already
There amt no trusting an Injun;
He's catawampous cuss,
And when he's doing ofsunthin bad,
He'sa wishing twas sunthln wuss.
A Georgia newspaper recently inform
Cd its readers that it was not worth while
for them to raise boys. The agonized
editor insists that he wrote the word
hogs.
A Troy paper compliments upon her
good memory u woman who identified on
the street dress stolen from her four
months ago. Considering the frequent
changes in the style, it was rather singu-
lar that she could keep it in mind.
This is what Virginia newspaper
says of one departed:
Aye. tenderly close his eyelids,
In the sleep Of the tyrant death,
Composing his cold limbs sadly,
With tears and lated breath.
The clods may above him harden,
With the turf, Or the chilling snow
Oh! bury your dog in the garden,
He'll make the cabbages grow.
A Fonda, N. Y, schoolmaster, who
severely hogged an urchin for swapping
bogus cent for brass watch chain, du..
ring school hours, last Winter and who
was sued by the aggricved parents OF the
lad, has just won the suit. But he had
to pay his lawyer $50, and as this
is more than he could make in year
of teaching. it is not at all strange that
he has gone to farming.
The ministers came last week to pray
for Paul Carroll, Of jamestown, Ky,
who is in the last st age of consumption
and, having lived wicked life sent for
them. But, when they opened prayer,
= Az. :-AI.= aesrrell semsrlsed with fearful
eyes, that she couldn't stand it, this di-
vidings up of a family by praying: ali
the balance of the family had gone to
HI. No man ought to be separated
from his kin
Old Mr.. franklin, of Cattaraugus
County, New York, created vast deal
of excitement the other day by throwing
aploughshare into the river, on accoun
of his .wife's incessant scolding. Mr.
Franklin, it might be well to add, was
attached to the weight by rope; conse-
quently, Mrs. +. has lost husband,
ploughshare, and three feet of good rope
just through a chronic propensity to wag
her tongue
Rufus Choate, or somebody else, said
that ths ways of Providence, and the
decisions ofa petit jury ARE past account
ing for. We may safely say this of the
latter since Pittsburgh jury handed up
to the judge communication inlorscd,
"The honorable gug."
To thee, were stickleback,
I'd swim as fast as fins can move
To thee, were a hunters hack,
I'd gallop on the wings of love.
By as I'm but simple man,
III come by train, love-ifI can
An Illinois paper remarks that "Our
readers neen't try to get any points out
of of our political articles; we put 'em
iu this week because our patent. .medi-
cine sterootypes have been mislaid."
For towns must grow, and trade incr ease,
But nerve and enterprise.
And they who'd live must have the pluck
To risk and advertise.
There are some men in eur town
Who do not advertise:
Good customers go past their doors,
The CHEEKY cash likewise.
And when they post their books at night
They're the saddest men in town,
And ever and anon they moan:
''The'place is going down!"