The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-01-10

TIE heirs Of Robinson CrusOe are law.
suiting for the:island Rob discovered, and
other territory Of his when he was mon.
arch Of all he surveyed.
AT Akron, Ohio, q girl was taken with
small pox while dancing, and the chap
who was down onber card for "the next
waltz did not take It.
In Springfield, Ills, French cook"
named Bridget 0,Flaherty, was caught
greasing the griddle with the heel Of an
old rubber shoe.
THE number OF deer frozen to death
while trying to swim western rivera, dur.
ing the recent polar wave, would be fear
Eul to think OF iiit were true.
TIE most fashionable part Of Kansas
City is known as Niger Hill" and re-
sembles that most delightful headquarters
Of society in Gotham known as Murray
Hill.
THE night before Chicago man died
his wife satppwlthhim allnight and BE-
came so interested in reading Claude Du.
val that she did not know when her dar'
ling died,
INDIANA whisky has improved eighty
per cent since the drouth set In, and will
now cut a hair without being strapped or
otherwise having It's edge touched up.
BANGOR, NE, Is justly proud OF the
doings Of It's widows wood society, which
kept the cold out Of the houses OF 1870 poor
families, last winter, at an outlay OF
$1t278.
A CHICAGO firm. claims 10 have sold
$4,000 worth Of goods the day before
Christmas. Bourbon and rye by the
drink or palliul were the line Of goods
disposed of.
A BROOKLYN paper says that city is
"honeycombed with gamblers and their
houses that ply their trade unmolested."
Probably because the police have all been
sweetened. s'-
THE Dartmouth IN. H.) freshmen had
turkey supper Christmas eva, and
while exercising their jaws some one
stole all their hats. The ''sophs" fear
that they will be viewed with suspicion.
NEBRASKA has 5000 Indians too lazy
to work, steal or die, and the authorities
think OF offering some kind Of q reward
for an epidemic that will sweep them of
into the happy hunting grounds.
NEVER before were the imrortatlonS OF
Eastern saw dust by Western fools so
great as they have been this season. A
Girard, Kansas, youth paid $2S for q
cigar box full Of the precious stuff last
week.
ToDAcCoN1srs and drink mixers lose
$4,000 by swear.ofs on New Years day,
but make double thatsum the third week
in January, when the lambs comeback
to the flock thirstier and hungrier than
ever. aa is tss
A RURAL gentleman standing over .
register in a Cincinnati store attracted
general attention to himself by observing
to his wife, "Mariar, / guess I'm agoin' to
have fever, feel such hot streakO run
ming up my legs"
A MAN in Friendship, New York, is the
unhappy father Of baby three months
old, that weighs eighty pounds. This
man is poor, and hard worker, and un-
less no can build bay window on his
humble cottage, the baby must roost in
the hog pen.
The extravaganza Of Chicago since the
FIRE Is awful to see. Dollar stores are
springiug up on every side, and crowds
Of the elite struggle, swear, and crowd to
get the first pick at the diamonds, watches
and other elegant articles Of jewelry and
Uirtu. ...........-
A Troy paper tells about literary
bureau in that city which furnishes ad-
dresses, poems, speeches, ETC., to order,
for everybody, from college students TO
State Senators, at prices varying from IS
to 500, and gives $9,95O as its receipts in
fifteen months
MIR. Il. 9. NUTT, OF Council Bluffs, Ia,
Is as tough as his name bellies. BE heard
burglars down stairs the other night, and
seizlug shotgun stole softly down stairs,
opened the kitchen door and confronted
the servant girl, who was up a tribe earlier
than usual.
The Atlanta Herald thus concludes an
editorial defense Of q Georgia murderer
who was recently acquitted in that State
"Let 1t be proclaimed from all our South :
ern house.tops that tho man who hampers
with wOman's virtue shall be slain like
o dog, and then society will DO safer"
AN Orleans county, New York, farmer
wants TO kill somebody, or else pay some
genius that will invent q burglar proof
cider barrel. BE had barrel OF apple
juice shipped to him by. rail, not long
since, he paid the charges and his mouth
watered as he tapped it-only to find II
full Of rain water.
THERE is q wellknown wARor that q
man should stand on London Bridge fol
an hour, holding a tray with soyereignG
upon 1t, and offer them for sale at . shil.
ling apiece, and that no one OF the pRssers.
by would purchase. He fulfilled tho con.
dltiopS Of the bet, and won hia money.