South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-11-07


IN. " editor thus tells how bis wife cur
ed his uugovernable temper. These arc bis
words:
i found the cherished face of Maria Ann
wrcstbed in smlies, he other evening. wheu
l returned from my ardunus daily toll. q
am engaged AS standing man at u saloon
So many candidates are treating, that thu
saloon keeper hires elk Of US to be treated.
We all drink with every candidate wbo
com 0 TO-, and it makes business pretty
brisk.)
Said my chosen one, 'Joshu,, l am o.
fraid ycu do not always fad me an angel
10 disposition.
Said I, That's so-hic- my dear. |
don't seldom ind you 'npugel in anything
And she added, you are not always
the most pleasant man 10 the world
| did not feel called on to reply.
Now said sho read that
She had cut an item from the column ms If
some paper, wherein demented writer told
about some impossible woman who, being
troubled with bad temper, counted TWEEN
ty-fve every time she got provoked, and
thus became q sweet, amiable, and dearly
loved ornament of the house OF her delight
ed husband. / read the article as we'll as
tho condition of my head would allow, and
remarked.
'Bosh -
Maria Ann paid no attention TO me but
unfolded her plan. She said that every
time got mad should count twenty five,
and every time she got mad she would
count twenty-five. I asked her who she
thought would pay the rent while we sat
and counted twenty over and over, al
day long. Then she said l was always
raising objections to her plans for our mu-
tual improvement, and said was not, and
she said I was enough to try the patience
of saint, and said she was too, and she
came for me, and told her to count TWEEN
ty-fve but she forgot all about that and
just Tailed one on my left eye.
Then l was going to demonstrate with
The poker, and she told me to count twenty
FIVE, and said would not but I did be.
fore she pulled more than half my hair out.
Then she made me count twenty-five over
aud over, until | was out of breath and felt
real pleasant and good uatured. So we
went to supper. Now the cot was curled
up in my chair, but did not see it until |
sat down ; and / did not see it then, but
was pretty sure it was therein fact, |
knew it was there as we'll as | wanted to,
and moro too. | felt inclined to rise up
suddenly, but a. | gathered TO spring, she
brandished the teapot and murmured ;
Joshua, your temper is rising count
twenty-five or I'll break your bend and
that cat was drawing a map of Montana
with her claws around behind me, with the
towns and counties marked in my blood -
arose to explain, aud said, My dear, l.
but she caromed on my head with we'll
shot tea-cup, aud sptiukled ms face with a
quart Of bot tea, sod I SAT down and count
ed twenty five but it killed The cat The
old fellow died hard, though, could feel
him settle as his nine lives went out, one
by one.
a few days practice Of this rule under
the loving instruction e Maria Ann, has
enabled me 10 conquer my temper complete
ly. Nobody can get me mad now om
IN a state Of perpetual calm and want
10 SEQ the man who wrote that story. |
van, to e, bin for the babds Of the under.
,aker, and make demand for mourning
goods among bis friends. Then l can die
happy-counting twenty FIVE.