The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1873-12-31
Ol@e Cnans Plated Ware Etc, at Ferguson and Schnacks
Serious Remarks to the Ser;ors
Family.


A tour-year-old little boy recent,
complained that his teeth "trod on his
tongue"
Why is blindman's buff like svmn,.
thy Because it is q fellow FEELING fo,
a fellow creature.
TO keep warm on a cold day the vo
men double the Cape, While the man
double the Horn.
A bore is a man who persists in talk.
ing to you Notwithstanding you wish
to talk about yourself.
When a Kansas man gets the con-
tents of double barrel shot gun. thav
cal it hypodermic injection.
A progressive barber adyertises him
self as a"Professor of cranicultural ab-
session and genealogical trpsis."
We once knew Il boy who said that
he liked "a good rainy day-too rainy
to go to school, and just rainy enonrI
to go fishing"
When you see a bare-headed man
following a COW through the front oate
and filling the air with garden imple-
ments and profanity, you may know
that his cabbage plants have been
set out.
The Prytania Quartette were some
what startled the other evening nv
fuding that the selection. ."iYlen
weared wretches sink to slcep.n had
been printed on their programmes
"when married wretches, ETC."
"T!ere's on ship | always steer
clear off, said an old bachelor sea can
tain, land that's coartsliip; cause on
that ship there's always two mategand
one captain"
Over the shop door of a pork butch
er in a village in one of the eastern
counties of England may be seen a
slgn-board representing IL man in n
black coat, brandishing hatcIet, with
the inscription, "John Smith kills pirs
like his father"
A certain fancy store has CLERK who
has been horsewhipped by seven differ
ent women. He CLAIMS to he the mnch
sought after individual alluded to in
Scripture: "And seven women shall
take hold Of one man."
Oar Mary Ann don't see anything so
very sad in the phrase ait might have
been" When she was told she might
have Ben, she was glad CT it.
Scene, sophomore den. Sophomore
deeply engaged in scanning La tin.
Some one knocks at the door. Sophie
more pretends not TO hear, and as the
door opens, continues with his scan
ming in loud tone, Qnod 81 com min
a-ds."
At ajnvenile party, ore little fellow, :
rejoicing in the splendor of his new :
cloihes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark "You amt dressed ,
as we'll as am" "Weli" retorted the :
other, 81 can lick you, anyhow =
st Lonis editor finds it necessary to :,
deny that he has tame mosquito SO :
large that Newfoundland dog eau run y
under it without touching, and says the
whole story originated with some reck- :
less defamer at Chicago. =
A bare back circus rider lately had q ;.
sl2lO diamond pin stolen at Dayton, :
U. We should like to know what right -
bare back rider has to own a $1,000 :;
diamond pin. He ought to have sold it :,
and got something to put on his back. >,
A little waiter was sent to call q "
gentleman to dinner, and found him 9
using toothbrush. "Well," said the y
,andlady, when the boy returned, sis y,
he eoniHgs" "Yes, mum. directly; he's ~
just sharpening his teeth" a V.
Two negro women met upon the l.,
street tie other day, when the follow ~
Ing conversation took place; First wo- 20 -,
lnan-''ls you gwine to set up wild de fl,
copse o night?" Second woman- 70
NO, my hasban' won't let me-" II,
FIRST woman.-"Sha! never seed such i
a l,usban' as you got. He never wants 90
70 let you see any plea. sure" L.,
r A little boy in the Bishop Scott w
Grammar School at Portland, Oregon, f.,
mas mas composed the following essay on in
oxen "Oxen is IL very slow ami g..
MAJ They are very good to break up IN,
ground. would rather have horses if NM
lucy did'nt have to be doctored so. If wf
,"efe were no horses people would sol
nave to wheel their wood on IL wheel ".
ntarrOw. 1t would take them two or NJ
u days to wheel cord a mile 20,
lows are useful to. IIeard some pco- ~,
PIE say that if they had to be an OK or co,
= COW they would sooner be a COW. H.,
'ut think when it come to be MIXED FIJI
'a cold winter morning I think they ha,
" " sooner be oxen, for oxen don't oa1
nave TO raise calves. If had to be o.,
"a OF COW would be hetfer, but | . :,
,oaiu not be heifer and had to be Il .
Doth would be OK" ~, =.
Tos Inc fashers of the Society of m,
esas, Who were forced by the Jesuit r rn
~" Wv" 10 leave Germany, have in part e ,~l