davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1873-04-25

Every now mud tllon wo hear q c1attcr Of
sfasfppi Riyor as an outlet for Western produce;
but. as yoars roll by, wo ind tint tho amount Of
cereals taking Tint corrno aoawarl Is limited to
about tho quantity wanted for consumption III
tho Bouthern statos-or only tritle moro. At
times whom tho most talk is heard on tho adj
yantages of this route, grain Ia being shipped
eastward, In large quantities, by rail, from
st. Louis. This grain orossos tho Mis-
siBsippi niyor by fo1y-boat, and ia tlon
hauled thousand mi1oH, moro or leas,
by land, rather t11an tako tho cheap though
longthy aud roundabout route via New Orleans.
Tho reason Ia, that n surplus Of grain at New
Orloang, ogor and abovo tho requirements Of To-
oal consumption, ia as far from market aa 1t WIS
In tho st. Louis warohouso. It Ia probably tr1lo
Tint froighting on the 1lisgissippi River is the
cheapest inland transportation in tho world, and
II tho course Of that stream wero east and west
iuatead Of north and south, 1t would aettlo tho
railroad question and NIL kindred questions with
d vengeance. But We find, as q mnttor Of fact,
that tlia greatest Of riyora doea not, in
any considerable dogroe, rolloyc tho
pressure in tho Northwest, though thoro ia m
incroaso in tho amount Of property transported
on 1t boil, up and down. In regard to tho St.
Philip Ship Canal, a work projected lalf q cen-
tury ngo to avoid tho bar at tho mouth Of tho
Mississippi, VIC say to all the friends and
Advocates Of that undertaking that no local
jealousy OF apprehension regarding 1t exits
in Chicngo, 30 far as no know. Tho only
objection to it is that which applies to
NIL similar works sought to DO foiatel upon
tho National Treasury, and tho dangcr that
half hundred othors will DO fastonel upon Il,
swelling tho cost to intolerablo proportions. +
tho st. Philip ship-Canal could bo taken UP and
voted upon by itself, as u work Of national i'm
portance and valuo, pretty strong argument
could be made for 1t.
, 1873-04-25

Tho meeting which hsH boon called at tho
Autor House, In Now York City, for May Q, to
consider tho transportation question as 1t aroclB
tho country At largo, ia Aoly to furnish tho baata
for national movement ngainut monopolieu,
tho ultimate growth Of which 1t is not possible to
foretoll II Inns boon suggested tint this mcot-
Ing was called FOR tho purpoao Of bringing
tho farmers granGos and tho labor-,lnionu in d.
rect communication. Tho tendency Of the
movement, wlothor 1t haH taken This direction
or q moro general scope from tho outaot,
m TO unite tho producers of tho Wcgt
anu tito consumers OF tho East In n
common causo ngainat tho railroad manggoro.
The growth Of u combination botyoou producers
and consumers will inevitably lead to common
oppoattlon to all classoa that live upon subsidloy,
monopollcB. and projection" Of oyery dosorip-
tion. Whom tho consumers Of Tho East discover
thai the bulk of the money which tLoy pay tor
grain goes into the poohots Of tho railroads, Who
in turn pay over largo share Of 1t to tho nanu-
facturora that furnish tlsom the material for
building aud running their roads, tho
consumers and producors wl1l meet On
, 1873-04-25

Tho stockholders of tho Atlantic Oceau tolo-
graph companies met yesterday in London, and,
informally, approved consolidation Of ali tho
compauies into ono, In accordance with tho pro-
gremmo foreshadowcd uomo time ago.
, 1873-04-25

Legal intorost is still restricted to per cent
by tho bill now boforethe New York Legislature,
mud which has been described incorrectly as q
bill for tho repeal of tho usury laws. Its main
effect Is to Lessen the penalty. Instead Of for
foitng principal aud interest, tho londor is pro-
tcctcd in his right to tho former, and loses
only tic intoreBt.
, 1873-04-25

Tho popo has fallen i'll again, and is compelled
to kcep his bed. Such frequent and serious
changes in tho condition of 80 old man betokon
approaching dissolution, md mako it doubtful
whether ho will live to celebrate his s1st BIRTH
day, On the 18th OF next month,
, 1873-04-25

M'VlOKER'S TI1EArN1s-htat1ison street, tetvoon
State aud Doarborn. Eneugomont Of Mr.. Mark Smith.
:" Ono Hundred Years Old"
, 1873-04-25

MYERS OPERA 1OusE--A1ouroo street, betnesn
6tato and Dearborn. Arlington. Cotton 4 Kcmble'a
s1lustrcl aud Dnrfosauo Troupe. "Roneo and Juliet.
, 1873-04-25

The Chicago produce markets werc less nc
two and Irregular yesterday, Meaa pork was
dull, and declined 30@940o por brl closing at
e17.60@18.oo cash, and 1880 aol1cr Juno. Lard
was in good demand, and loo per 100 lbs higher,
closing at 1896. cash, aud 9e.75@o.eo sollor
June. Meats were in fair demand, md Hhatlo
flrmor, ut Gs{@G79c for shoulders; 0@O}lc for
short ribs; o}4@oltlc for short cloar, mud to@12o
for swcat-pioklod hams. Highwincs woro dull
and nominal ut 8G11@s7c por gallon. Lnko
froights wero dull and nominal, at 15o askol for
ooru to Buffalo. Flour in fair demand
and Arm. Wheat. was moderately active,
and 3l@1o higher, closing at e1.2411G@1. .2111
cash, md 91.25A seller May. Corn waa moilor-
ately actlyo and unchanged closing at 37S@
871Gc cash, aud $500 eollor May. Oats wore
in good demand, and 10 higher, closing at GIG
3111o osah, and s171c Hol1er May nyo was moro
active, and 10 higher, at 6o>9c. Barley WAS
dull and nominally unchanged, at 70@78o for
poor to good No. 2. HoBB woro dull md loo
lover, closing at e5.20@5E0. Cattlo were ac-
two, but closed easier. Sheep romein steady.
, 1873-04-25

Winter wheat tue country through is reported
by tho Agricultural Bureau to be looking better
nor than at tho samo time last yoar.
, 1873-04-25

A1KEN'H TlfEATRE--Wabaah nvonuc, corncr Of Con.
Engagement Of Stuart Robson. s.Littlo ;nly
, 1873-04-25

ACADEMY OF MUSIC ualstod atroot, south ot
Madison. Engagement Of hfr. 7. 8. Chaufrau. Exit
tlo Arkansas Tsavcor."
, 1873-04-25

Although tho Bank of England haa recovered
from tho MoDonnoll gang NIL but thirty thousand
dollars Of their otenlings, it docs not rolont in
prosecuting tlom criinlnally, Us is too often done
In similar caaos. From tho moment Of dis-
covery thoro has boon no whisper of
compromise, uo bargain for tho COM
pounding Of felony. Tho forgors hare bcen
and oQual' puccoBH. Didwall. who led to
Hayana, WAS yesterday delivered up to
tho English Consul, md will 10 sent ut
onco 10 England in nan-of-war. Tho
first warrant on which Mcdonnell was arrested
III Now York proved faulty, but ho has been
promptly roarrestca On another, and will proba~
bly, soon be travelling beck to England In chains.
, 1873-04-25

HOOLEY'S OPERA l1oUSls-Tandolph atroot, he.
tween Olatk and Lafsalo.st "rIokot. Loayo Man
, 1873-04-25

4 Murderer S.arrcnilcr1.
BoSToN, April 2i.-~nIark Doothby, WHO Ea!!ea'
hts vito III Elgowood yeutordayt has surrenderota
to tho authority
, 1873-04-25

with great attention aftor tho recent t1laolosures
Of the connection OF somo Of tllem with sowing
machine companies, Iron manufacturers, and tho
, 1873-04-25

Coal will bo made still doarer and acarcer In
England by the formidable strike Of twenty
combination of nllno-owncrs and the panic about
e1Iauattug the mines hayo already produced q
serious coa!-famino, au1 arc remotely tho cause
OF the Atlantic lisastor. Bono good may re-
suit from this state of afHars In tho diacoyory Of
new methods OF economy aud Of now nources OF
fuel. a patent Inns alroady boon sought for
process of resolving air into ita component gases,
80 that they can bo rssol for fires or lIghta.
, 1873-04-25

In another column will ho found O. very full
and intoroAt!ng description Of the build
ing md preparations for tho great E3poBi-
tion at Yion:n, ma:lo up from tho notos of our
correspondents and from 1nnny other eourcsa
Of information. The accommodations for yis-
itora and the arrangements for contributions are
given Mt length. One matter Of interest pub
lishod for tho first lmo il tho full llat OF American
Commissioners. whose namoa will 10 gcrutiaizea
, 1873-04-25

Ihe Inhnrauco Convention sitting In Now York
favor tic insertion Of 4 clauso IN e}] rn no,,;oa
limiting tho responsibility Of companies to
threo-quar,orH Of tho loss. Thoy think TINT
upon tho general adoption Of hucA rule prop-
c:ty-ownors, knowing that In any event ono
quarter Of the loss must fall upon themselves,
will tako creator pains to prevent 1lrco. Undor
tho present HyBtom Of full insurance, 1t ie often
rather to n ma.n Interest that his property
should burn; tho nov rule would bring Ills iu-
terostn and thoHo Of tho companies together.
The New York herald., 1873-11-21
WINTER RESORTS.

RoYAL VICTORIA HOTEL. NASSAU n p, BAHIA
III mas Is open for the reception OF guests Persons
desiring 70 escape the rigors OF Northern winter OBJ
tain circular containng Il information BY addressing
" !. j. IfoSKkiER. Proprietor.
The New York herald., 1873-11-21
AmUsEMEsr,s.


AmUsEMENTp. - ~>>,,,,,,,~-
RoorH's rHEArRK LEssHs. ). p BOOTH
LAST WEEK K. sqs aS%IN SFH q sSsfs ;ss ffHs's'"sa'
sIYuNDAT EyHn5 NIGHT MHTiSHs 1HIs wEEk xEIsn
Mr.. EDWIN BoofH as DON CESAR DE BAzSE.
music store Of g. il. Diison Co. iii Broadway. - -
GRAND OPERA HOUSE. BEGINS AT g
special $; s::s 20 ss s.'-.
| FLASH OF LIGHTNrNGi
Last matinee FLASH OF LIGHTNING.
MONDAY NEXT. Now n.
Mr.. @. L. Fox's new
HuGffHH18 'f%ii SGSfT9 ferP'9I'&sA %BESADr
Everything as.sd sassflY a,r.'y afy. D.,.,
Original variety acts
This magnificent production has been iivC months ia
preparation and wiz Dc P5oSSced SoCS At cost Of
uUMPTY DUMPrY ABROAD
II An old friend with new faces ana features
III GRAND OPERA HOUSE. NEXT MONDAY.
uUMPTY DUMPrY ABROAD
IL Grand Kralfy Ballet
uuMPrY DuMPrY ABROAD.
II betty and Emily Rig and grand ballet Of 100
UUMpTY DUMPTY ABROAD.
thing entirely new Not an old scene Or an old dress
TTUMPTY DUMPTY ABROAD
l., See s rox among the Chinese M among tne walruses
derful equilibsist
IJUMPTY DUMPTY ABROAD.
Ths and s III the m nd nS
charming performances.
uUMPTY DUMPTY ABROAD
II At specie prices No advance on the popular rates
uUMPry DUMPTy ABROAD.
1 Fox H English ana
uUMPTY DUMPTY ABROAD.
II IL Two performances on Thanksgiving Day. at TX
II Produced after Ave months constant preparation.
by day and night and at . cost Of $5o0oo
RRoADwAY. THEATRE, 7ss AND 7se BROADWAY.
Reserved seats 50 cents and 81 extra Family circle,
~ cents.
The announcement Is respectfully made that Mis-.
LECLERCQ'S engagement positively closes with next
SECOND WEEK and overw whelming triumph Of the
MISS Maiss'UansRiEsnsa UHsREorrt srfsse THchEsG6 haFEssGts6
and successful production under his personal super
MR. w1EkfG ESHe. Collins q
own dramatic version
i THE NEW %AaDALEN.
NEW scENERYl NEW oosrUMEsl GREAT CAST
The audience electrified the passion and tho
and tumultuous applausc.-New York Times.
MATINEE TOMORROW SATURDAY, AT 80 O'CLOCK
OLYMPIC THEATRE.
lAsn nss1ns #ssk sts e nasE sFesaEsE: %EHEE
FAREWELL PERFORMANCES.
LAST NIGHTS LAST NIGHTS
Eminent Natural Actor.
in his grand %.4ah sf hS wsKL
3IoNDAY EVENING, November "a 1873
the Worlds Favorite Artist
Box sheet open.
Ms bssEyTA eSsMATs cS Ms E. kIHd
MR.. l. s5A2f !. Ffas ETzR zR5 SSs5S; SoafAsr
GrsSAs1A G. zD. shuEsbSEFE...... EHBaEFE .D,,.s,.,
SEs1si 6Ia bsl P5sssSs$sss' @RsSiSSS4;' SSSf$sSs T
Box Office open daily from till O'Clock
L PRfNcE IHDI DJALTA,'
invitation Iaaiss the G5sss aoRSE SSisniGFons SsiF
Eysning r,tah n his orig,nsl jgnss Dutch M songs
admitted JENNIE ESaEEs NFT MEobE
ns aGa EHaait1HE afEL EGSs Sc Pew YORK
evening JOE rooEEy ASG FUZZY FoM cRINdHR BAEh LARRY
T .rrERARY CORRESPONDENCE
~ New YORK, Nov. IL, lS7a
The New York herald., 1873-11-21

r literary CORRESPONDENCE
- NEW YoRK, Nov. II, 1879
DEAN MADAM-Havlng learned with great pleasure Of
your Willingness to lecture in this city beg leave to
tender hearty cooperation and ask that you
will name such time and place to favor may best
suit your convenience. We have the honor TO remain
very respectfully your obedient servants,
W. A. Hammond, NJ D., Mrs r. Ogden Doremus.
Anna c. L. Botta, G. w. Carleton,
George Perry, Jennie June Croly,
Charles Watrous. Clinton Wagner, NJ. D.,
Mrs =. Y. Cutler, Morris Phillips.
j. Marion Tins NJ d., Mrs Charles O'Conor,
Mrs Henry Draper, Colonel 7. L. Snead,
John @. sake, Mrs. George Hoffman,
Mime. lie Vert Colonel I. B. Thorpe,
Fuller walker, William +. Holcombe, M. D.,
Josh Billings,n Mr. De Cordova,
II. B. Perkins, J. N. Davidson,
Professor S. B. Mills, And others
LADIES AND GENrLENEN-Allow me to express the deep
gratitude which fills heart request. and to
name nam the UNION LEAGUE THEATRE. and SATURDAY
shall deliver the lecture, SHOT AT SOCIAL MYTHS
In response to your kind solicitation With sentiments
high regard remain respect ully yours,
MARIA JOuRDAN wESTMORELAND.
STURrEvANT House, New York. Nov. Is.
The New York herald., 1873-11-21

yVANTED-Bv A FAMILY OF FOUR ADULTS AND
w nurse suitable accommodations in strictly private
American family dera bly, located In the city where
oher persons be received price 70 exceed sI
per week including board fire and parties
ing will please give full particulars to locality and
commodsons best references given and required. Ad.
dress Post Office box 4,ys0 New York.
The New York herald., 1873-11-21
AmusBmrNrn.

AmU1BmEHTSs
T'nEAraEs ooMgII9yE. "a
EAsi THREE fERTSa4S6is ..so's o,.'s'.'
LAST THREE PERroRazSSES 81 Thh ! . .nsa 80
LAST THREE PERFoRMAECEs oT ~ : . s.,a.~ :.
sHAAus oBEEs ATRss At HoMs MshaponrANors or ruE
cARRoLLs hzss ss sgshApE o.SO.s O.s :. .nn
ES$|$s ES$|sH S#a:sH s:s SHs:sH 8: 8: : :IEE
HSsB4y HSsD4y sSsBaE NEXT
AoNDAi SAA1 READ THIS ~o"DA
First appi.sTEssssesso MISS sofns q M Hsrsl srsH Vocalist
Also 'fs ss aFff Ysos ssns.sisP s4sPsa e the Age
the one-Lcgged Song sad Dance Artist -.
sss ssf s
gfs sSS hs vs
ssss s5Rs asF' sS VS. s'as 'tEfEs
positively Ta sRRssc5 gsck K sS tss!! !ssss sketch
manager that he viii positively be able to appear
On the same evening new and original Irish Sketch.
wriisss fnE NJ scFabDhS +; bi GaSrf, SxsinY snfed
in II which and his three uS %
sketch 5sssSa sFiH' entitled
founded that have ranspired, entitled
CUBA;
Or THE LONE STAR OURS.
New scenery and startling effects full brass band
STAGE grand battle scene-1he storming and taking
the fort Grand and imposing victory the brass band
playing the %ass q ias syssa
the positive woRsHE oaRPsgfaEInnsf sfsTsR rs o'au"
and grand revival Of the Musical Burlesque.
IXlON.
DECEMBER 1. 1873
MATINEE WEDNESDAY AND SATURDAY.
R. sAMUELs' NEW PARK THEATRE, BROOK.
LAST NIGHTS OF
MAGGIE MlTCaELL AS FANCHON.
The New York herald., 1873-11-21

BOARD wANTED-BY PARTY OF FIVE ADULTS
- two large Rooms. unfinished, and one single
terms S42 per week including fire and gas; permanent
References Address q. b., Herald Uptown Branch
The New York herald., 1873-11-21

COOPER UNION.-FREE LECTURES FOR THE
~ people in the great Hail. at8P NJ Saturday, Novem-
ber 22 the lecture will delivered by Alexander Win
Shell I. IL p Chanceior Of Syracuse University on
history and the birth Of the planets and satellites.
Tickets can be had gratis at the Office OF the Cooper
Union and the bookstores of Brentano Union
and D. Van Nostrand 2s Murray street:
ABRAM s. HEWITT, Secretary.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
A Beautiful Female Brigand.

The Italian journals relate that the
cnvirons CT Catanzaro, Calabria, are
infested by a band Of brigands under
the command of young woman. She
is twenty years Of age, and of great
beauty, with remarkable black eyes.
Her name is Maria, the widow of Pictro
Monlcc, bandit chief, who was killed
in an encounter with the gendarmes.
At his death, she seized his carbine and
sworc to aycnge him. Some time after,
a young mau, tho son Of wealthy far
mcr, fell in love with her and joinod her
ban in order to be able to prosecute his
suit. lie was, however, perompto rily
rejected, and, in order to revenge him
self, he betrayed her to the authorities.
She was arrested, tried aud sentenced
to thirty years imprisonment. While
undergoing her punishment, wardcr,
becoming cnamored of her, favored her
escape aud accompanied her, but was
stabbed to death BY her orders immed
lately after she had rejoincd her baud
Since that period, she has become still
moro redoubtablc, her audacity and
activity having rcdoublcd, and she has
made herself the terror of the country.
She burns farms, carries off cattle aud
levics forced contributions. The slight
est disobedionce to her orders is punish
able by murder and fire. Her troop is
numerous, and always well informed by
the peasantry through dread of venge
ance.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
A Shrewd Parrot.

The suhjoined incident is related by
Virginia uegro. IF it is true, the par
rot was certainly a remarkable bird;
You Sec" said he, "dis parrot clon,
Scd to u baker iu Richmond. Now
each baker is lowed to make certain
numbcr of loaves ebery day, and no
more, 'corden' to how many customers
he got; cause if dey bake too much, dry
will be servin out stale bread to de Gus
toners. Well, dis baker had baked
morn'n his share one day, and hid de
rest ob'um under de counter Do par
rot was hangin' in his cage and see it
ALL
"Bime by, in comes de inspector and
finds de bread all right aud is goiu5 out
agin satisfied, when de parrot cocks his
eye at him and sings out: "Dear's more
bread under dc counterw SO de inspect
grabs it, cordin' to law, and carries it
off Well, den de baker goes to de par
rot, VERY mad, and takes him by the
head ar d fotches him twist or two and
liuAs him into de gutter f)r dead
'longsidc of pig just dead of de mea
sells. Bime by, de parrots begins to
crawl about, his feathers stickin' out
and his head Topped on ono side, and
den he stops and looks at dc pig; very
pitiiul, and says he; "did you say any
thing about de bread
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
Wilkes Conversation.

I Deacon Dozier going down Broad ST.,
on, his way to Frout, passed the house
of Mr.. Wilkes, and looking ia the win
dow saw Wilkes down Oh his marrow
bones, and showing signs of great dis
tress. The deacon was sure he had
caught Wilkes praying, and he was
delighted at the discovery. Going on
he met sister Faunks, and he told her
"Wilkes was struck"
"Struck !" says sister F., "why what
on earth dc you mean? You don't
mean TO say; that
"Yes, do," put in the deacon;
Wilkes is struck under conviction, and
have seen him wrestling with the
spirit.
"Well thank the good one," says sis
ter f.: l have prayed often for Wilkes
and now my prayer has been heard, who
can doubt the efficacy of prayer. they
both went to Wilkes touse to comfort
and strengthen him. Being neighbors,
they did not stop for ceremony, but
opening the door, rushed into the roo m
and there was poor Wilkes sure enough
on his knees with basin of soap and
water scrubbing at something on the
carpet Nov the deacon and sister
Faukcs were struck all aback.
Wilkes looked up and accepted tho
situation at once; he explained fully to
the deacon, that on account of his lone
ly situation, his wife and children be.
ing away for the summer, and feeling
like zone who treads alone 6 ono ban
| quet hall deserted" he had the night
before come home late and wept tears of
Punch and Sardines on the carpet and
he had been trying ever since o'clock
to get the darned spot out, but could
not succeed, and here was Mrs. Wilkes
coming home ON the Reliance to o.mor.
row.
II tell you what,' says Wilkes,
"therc is no time to pray now, but 70
scrub"
Sister Faukcs throw up both arms
in despair, having her faith in the
efficacy Of prayer much diminished
but she VOWS she will have Wilkes yet,
aud went home singing: GAS long as
the lamp holds out to burn, the vilest
sinner (cveu Wilkes) may retur,.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
Dropping q Fop.

Mr.. W. c., of Elicit City, . ooaosis
cd snob, vas SO fond Of fine clothes thas
he reveled in them by day and dreauasd
of them by night: One evening no
visited a young lady, aud as he remoYed
his overcoat, etc., in the hall, preparatory
to entering the parlor, the lady .oysr
heard him utter the following sensible
words:
Taking his overcoat aud hanging Il
up, he said, "Haug there Jou ffty aol
lar overcOat!" Hauling off his glssss
and putting them on the table, aI,sv
there you five dollar gloves!" Placins
his hat on the rack, "Hans here yoa
ten dollar hat!" Standing his cane 10
the corner, Stand there you fifteen dol
lar cane! !" ass,
Then he entered the parlor and was
about to sit down, but the lady pulled
the chair from under him, and, as she
left the room said:
clay there you two cent fool"
He has not been seen around thaE
house since. ~
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
81 3k
The Conductor Ahea1.

A Cincinnati car conductor tells tke
following story.
"One day last week." said he, ''thers
came on board of the cars from one Of
the up country stations, q very pretty,
geuteel young lady, on her way to this
city. She was alone; so / waited upon
her to coed seat, and made hsras CON
Portable as possible. It was few pra
utcs before tho startling hour, and she
was so agreeable and SO talkasiyes that I
fingered, and we had pleasant chas.
Afterwards, when collecting the tick
cts, she detained me again an instant
and gave me some fine peaches, which
she said came from her friends orchard
in the country; and, really, I began 20
think that l had not had SO charming a
passenger for many day.
"Well, we arrived at the depot, aud
then l attended her to the carriage.
handed up her ,,arpet bag; and after
all, what do you think she said?"
All thought of course, that the young
lady would say very politely, aThank;
you, sir''-smile like gleam ofsunshinc
the carriage roll off-and John Van
Dusen, the gentlemanly conductor would
bow an adieu, and with sigh turn away.
and forget the matter. q
"No," said the conductor, "she did no
such thing: but, just as her foot gas on
the step, she turned, and with q sort Of
look can't describe Observed:
"Yca aiust consider this, sir, merely
car acquaintance. You must not sz
pect to be recognized if we meet anywhar
eIsc.m
John drew long breath.
What did yeu sayH ?" H
"Why, l thought this rathsruneivil,
to say the least; so 1 replied very quick
ly:
"Certainly not, madame. was just
going to remark that you must not feel
slishted if unnoticcd by me anywhere,
except on the cars: for really, ne. con
ducto's have to be careG.l about our
acquaintance !"
"And the lady 2"
'she looked qnite silly, and she drove
of, rp'ied John.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-20
Very Absent Minded.

The most absent minded man we ever
knew was our friend, General Mumm.
He lost one Of his legs in the late war,
and he always wore patent artificial
les full of springs and joints. Sometimes
when he started ont in the morning, he
would get his leg on hind part foremos t
and then he would GO straddling down
the street with one set of toes pointing
east and the other set pointing west
II is right knee would lead in one directi n
and his left would bulge out in another
and the old man would bob up and
down like jumping jack worked with
string. Presently he would meet us
and come jolting up to say that he
wished we would pitch iuto the highway
department for leaving tho pavement
|a such rascally condition that mar
couldn't walk straight Previous to the
war, while he was down at Cape May
one, sum mcr, he took a buff bath early
in the morning, and while in the he got
to mcditating upon some abtrusc subject
and forgetting himself, he came walking
cut upon the beach and up the street to
the hotel dressed in nothing but sad
sweet smile, just rs the people were
coming down to breakfast. Only a very
short time ago he hitched his horse to
sulky, with the animals nose pushed
close to the dasher, and started off back
ward without noticing the direction.
At the end of the first half mile the
vehicle jammcd up against tree, and
the General shot on. over the horses
tail. If he doesn't get out of his coffin
at his own funeral and insist upon go
ing as pail bearer, it will be singular.