Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-19
Number 81.

i line American commission to the eX-
hibition occupies a bare, disconsolate,
shabby suite of rooms. They resemble
much the editorial offices of those ephe-
neral daily papers which commencing
with very small capital, after a spas
modic career of a few months fall de-
.spairingly into. the arms of the sheriff.
had once occasion to visit the COM
mission on little matter of business.
What that was [ have forgotten: re-
collect only the multiplicity of doors
i'll those apartments. When [ turned
to depart, [ opened every door but the
proper one. | went into closets, pri-
vate apartments and intricate passages,
and after making the entire round
without discovering egress, I made an
other tour of them, but still could not
find where had entered. A solitary
American was seated in the reading
room looking weary and homesick, and
[ asked him if he could tell me the
right road out of the American COM
mission. He said he hardly knew:
this was his first visit, but he'd try.-
SO both of us went prospecting around
and opening all the doors we met,
while deaconish old gentleman be-
hind desk looked on apparently in
terested, yet offering nothing in the
way of information or suggestion, I
presume, however, this is the only a.
musement the man has in this forlern
place. [ was beginning to think of
descending by way of the windows
when the strange American at last
found a door which led into the main
entry, and we both left at the same
time, glad to escape.
will do one side of the American
department in the exhibition stern
justice. 1t commences with long
picture placed there by the Pork Pack
ers' Association of Cincinnati, descrip-
tive of the processes which millions of
American hogs are subjected to while
being converted into pork. There are
hogs going in long procession to be
killed, and going, too, in a determined
sort of way, as if they knew it was
their business to be killed. Then
came hogs killed, hogs scalded, hogs
scraped, hogs cut up into shoulders,
hams, sides, jowls; hogs salted, hogs
smoked. Underneath this sketch are
a number of unpainted buggy and car
riage wheels; next, a pile. of pick
handles; not far off, little mound
Of grindstones, a platoon of clothes
wringers; next, solitary iron wheel
barrow communing with a patent fire.
extinguisher; following this crowd
OF green iron pumps, with sewing
machines iaa full force Such is a. bit
of the American department..
1t is the fashion here that ever one
should have a growl at the general
slimness and slovenliness of our de-
partment. Every one gives our droop-
ing eagle kick. This is all wrong.
We can't send our greatest wonders
and triumphs to Europe. There is
neither room nor opportunity in the
building for showing off one Of our po-
litical torchlight professions, or a vigi-
lance-committee hanging, or Chicago
or Boston fire, or steamboat blow-up,
or railway smashup. Were the pre-
sent chief of the commission man of
Originality and talent, he might even
now save the national reputation by
bundling all the pumps, churns, patent
clotheswashers, wheel -barrows and
pick-handles out of doors, and convert
ing one of the United States rooms
into reservation for the Modocs, and
the other into corral for buffaloes
and grizzly bears. These, with a mus
tang poet or two from Oregon, live
American daily paper, with corps of
reporters trained to squeeze themselves
through door-eracks and key-holes,
might retrieve the national honor, if
shown up realistically and artistically.
Prentice Muyord, IN Lippincotfs
for September.