The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-07-25


Nan respires. aspiros. conspires
and expires.
The New York State says the
devils king. pin is rum.
Hints TO singers: If your voice is
thick don't you strain it.
The Chicago hackmcn talk of hav-
ing grand Jehubilee.
Arsemus Ward used to say the
best Of everything was good enough
for him.
Did you ever enjoy the bliss Of
eourlinsg II not, get little gal
an try.
A secret las been defined as s'any.
thing made known to everybody in
whisper. -
Manufacturing is the poorest pay
ing business, because il takes ten
mills TO make Que cent.
Il isa remarkable fact thatalthouSh
common sheep delight in verdant
fields. religious iloeks are act anx-
ious for green pastors.
There is an honest man in San
Francisco. He is tobaeconist, who
has put out sign, reading, ,'Im,
ported cigars of our own manufac-
ture.
A Kansas lawyer sad SIC transic TO
the Judge. who Thought il was swear
ing, aud fined him 81 ! He said
that no one could ''sick" him in that
court.
A Providence paperstates that Mrs.
Senator Spragman invites clergymen.
school teachers, and common people
to till eighty rooms of her home in
Newport
All the Smiths who so to Europe
this summer will come home
Sn4ythes. Thompson will omit the
''p. and the Bakers win style them
selves Bacairs.
4 Frenehman, boasting of the in.
ventive genius of his country, I've
invented lace ruilies. "Ay," said
John Bull, land we added shirts to
them"
"Ahi how duth you like my mus
tache, Miss Laura?f lipsed a dandy /
to merry girl. "Oh. very much. 4
It looks like the hair on tho back Of
q caterpillar"
Down East, when they want to
speak of n ans iiberality, and vet /
don't want to praise him tsAo much,
they say he has a heart ais big as
Rhode Island.
Dear me, how fiuidly 10 taIksln
said Mrs. Pariipgton, recently, 81
am always reioiced when be mounts
the nostril, for his elcqoenee warns
every cartridge III my bddy.I'
"Now. children, asked q school
inspector; "who loves all men?. A
little girl about four years old. and
evidently not mp in the eatechism,
answered quickly. "All womenl"
A Massachusetts, postmistress has
her Office, as a matter of
hosesty. because she cannot End
time TO read all the postal cards and
to her other duties besides.
For throwing orange peel at the
ballet girls during the performance
OF the pantonIlne at the Surrey, Eng.
land, Theater. two you1g gentle 4
men. . who had been dining out, have
been fined $50 apiece.
TIE Jackson ,JoarHal states that n
blooming. hlushing schoolgirl called !.
1t that ufIice the other day and in- :
laired for papers for a week back. " :
The Idea suggested was that she q
waited them for panier. :
i Tennessee lady presented her 2
husband with pair Of twins and III
iue season added triplsts. Dear
ne, exciaiheI an .astouished neigh.
sor, 4 spose Mrs. Stebbing~ vii q
iave quadrupeds nexts aud Ii en-
2 T
At the depot the other evening. r
ays the Daubury .Aielrs, a man jump
d from the train aud clasped a 20
raiiing woman III his arms. 'Heav- s.
ms! my Wife said he. 'BIercyI "
ny ruflles." said she. which showed re
Shateboth we're thinking of.
General G.. 7. Beauregard tele-
raehed from New Orleans to an in -
.uiIing friend in Nashville, Tenn,
day or twcsago: "Onr carpetbag-
ers must be rooted CBag aud bag.
age) out of the State, or we shall be
tterly ruined. The question is q
iarrowing 10 one Of existence q
4 reverend gentleman of BethaI.
Iaine, is happy in the possession of
n iron kettle brought over in the
IosgIolrey, and believed to be the a
leutieal utensil in which those bless
q old Pilgrims prepared the ''pret-
7 kettle Of fish" wherewith they
syored New England. Z