Huntington independent. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1871-1874, 1873-10-30
items.

\ dispatch from Berlin announcrs
several failures in that city.
When are eyes not eyeSy When the
wind makes them water.
When is water most liable to escape?
When il enly halftde.
When is captain in his heaviest at
tire? When he wears his ship.
The report of the death Of the wife
of Prince Bsmark is officially contra
dictea.
When pcrsans arc Scasick what do
they m.t desirey To feel sca-cure of
course.
Why arc handouts ike gude-books?
Because they are made for tourists.
An Omaha paper is uugallant enough
to accuse Anna Dickinson of flirting
with falsehood
Mrs. Edwin NJ. Stanton is again re-
ported TO he dangerously sick at her
home in Pennsylvania.
A Milwaukee woman, seven feet tall.
hangs her four foot husband at her
wait belt aS au ornament.
Kansas ppcF says "rhc gny;lumpiDg'
graS>hoppcr, the brown-co!ored -graSs-
hopper, the cuSSed- -old-graSShopper is
here"
\ schooluasler said Of himself,
II am like a hone, sharpen a NUN
bsr of blades. but wear myself out
in doing it..
A Narrow Escdpe.-Country Mag
istrate--Prisoner, you're discharged
with q caution; but If we see you
here again you'll get twice as much.
--Pnnch.
The air in the courtroom during
the Itch borne trial, in London, has
been so bad that the authorities have
set two lltrle fountains Of chlorozonc
to play in it.
A sight.seer on horseback meeting
a negro lad not far from Petersburg,
asked him. "Am | half way to Rich
mondl7 "Please, Massa,' said the
boy, 'do you know where you cum
irum,
"Will you have some Strawberries
asked a lady of guest. eyes. mad.
am, yea, / eat strawb berries with en-
ihusiasm." "Do tell2 Well, We
haven't anything but cream and su-
gar for 'em this evening said tho
matter-offact hostess.
"Whsts your business?' asked
iudge Of a prisoner at the bar, "Well,
I s'pose you might call me lock
smith "When did you last work OF
vour irsde?' "Last night; when
heard call for the perlice, made a
bolt for the front door,
The engineers on some Of the Penn
sylvania railroads amuse themselves
by carrying tame trout in the water
tanks Of their locomotives, where
they are said to fouri h, in spite of
the constant motion to which they
are subjected.
A Iit'ls boy IN Georgetown ran in
to the house tho other Gay crying ct
the top Of his voice because another
little boy wouldn't let him put mud
op his head with a shingle. Some
children are just like their parents;
no acccmm odaticn about them.
At the examination Of a school not
far from London, young tyro in decla-
nation, who had been told by the tea
cher that he must gesticulate according
10 the sense, in commencing a piece with
"The comet lifts his fiery tail" !" lifted the
tail Of his coat TO horizontal position,
causing roars oflaughtcr
An IrishuLsn was once taken 10 see
the wonders of Niagara Falls. Ho
did not seem to think it tremendous
after all. His friend asked him
Don, you think it is a wondeful
tbingF' "Why is it a wonderful
thingl" asked the Ifishman. "D1n't
YOU see- said his friend, "that i'm
rense body OF water rolling dowu
this precipice" Says he Whats
to hinder it,"
It's related Of Scottish lady in
remote part OF the highlands noted for
her profuse liberaliry, that being some
times ovcrburdened with babltual "sor-
ners." wheu any one Of them outstaid
his welcome, she would take occasion to
say 20 him at the morning meal. with
look at the rest e the company: Max
a good breakfast, Mr.. while you
are about I; ye dinla ken whaur yen
ret your dinner. The hint was usually
taken, and the "sorhcr" departed.
The canton of some men in giving
an answer to direct question was
illustrated TO me, says corrcspon
dent, the other day, when ] asked an
Eastern friend of mipe whose family
was not noted for very active habits:
"Wss not your f,,her's death very
sudden" Slowly drawing one hand
from his pocket, and pulling down
his beard. the Intercepted ciu,ious-
rplied "War rsyther sudden far
him.
III a Missouri village, man was
found dead AID horribly maagled on the
. railroad track. A German being Jus
. tice Of the Peace acted as coroaer, and
upon hearing the evidence, thus adj
dressed the jury; "Shentlemen oy dc
Shury-VIom dose evidence produced
dose Co0rts comes TO dose conclusions