Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-06-29

habit of not sppearing a. balls till twelve
O'Clock or sven later. II was not at all an
uncommon thing last year in London to
see large number Of girls assembled IN a
ballroom and waiting for the arrival OF
men before they could begin dancing; and
bitter complaints often issued from the lips
Of those who knew not what to DO with the
time which must elspse between the end OF
a dinner Dsrty and the hour when the lords
of creation would be likely TO condescend
to appear This habit, quite . new one
during the last few years, is 3 bad and sell
fish one. Men can 90 to their clubs, read,
write or smoke; but women can 90 no
where, If they live at one end OF the town
and have To dine and dance at another. TO
appear very late at a bali ia in Itself dis
courtesy. If the lateness is SIMPLY occa-
stoned by the attractions OF q cigar or
rubber, the discourtesy is more marked.
Last year the evil reached such : plesh that
on more than one occasion the sg.rls' COM
menced dancing with one another.
Again, not many year ago it was held TO
be r
EXTREMELY BAD NAMES
For .ulan to smoke befJre going TO ball,
without changing his clothes. Now, not
only are cigarettes smoked up to the very
door of the no It, but men sit In their clubs
smoking strong cigars, and appear In
ballroom with the aroma OF the tobacco
clinging strongly to them. Theirs Is want
OF consideration and regard for self alone
in this, which is not consistent with cour-
tesy. # m M
( In the ball-roam, too, men show far too
little regard for the comfort and coDve-
nience Of ladies. They swsgger about as if
their presence were favor, and nothing
more was expected of them than to talk
loudly on the staircase, eat great deal Of
supper, dance as few dances as possible,
and take care of no one but themselves.
Certainly ease of manner seems TO ba the
only Qualification of excellence IF the
room is at all crowded they acs rather as
though they were in the street than in the
society Of ladies. They push and elbow
their way about with none CT the suaciter
in modo and much of the fortjter an re.
The same is the case when they dance. They
valse as though the sole object was to get
round the room IS qickly as possible, and
the most perfect feat were to dance from
one room into the Other. In The majority
of cases there is no thought, whatever, of
the flow or rhythm of the music and very
little of the time. A certain ineomrrehen-
sible step, which is a tumble of deu5 temps
and trois-tenpS, is held quite sufficient for
all practical purposes, and With this they
whiil their unfortunate partners round and
round in total disregard Of smoothhess and
grace.
Sometimes the want of courtesy is still
more marked. The writer of this paper
saw, in house where, if in any one good
manners ought to be displayed, n lady came
up TO supper table where were seated
eight men together. She stood wi b her
partner for three or four minutes BY this
table, and not one Of the men thought of
getting up to give her his seat, though more
than one of them had done supper and
~ere simply talking. On another occasion
the lady of the house could not INA room
at her own supper tables, owing to the
number of men who had occupied them.
A Frenchman, renowned for bis own re-
6nement of manners, was asked what be
thought of the English young men in this
respect, and replied: "The manners Of the
young gentlemen are such that q well-edu-
Gated ktchen-maid would End them bad"
His criticism was severe, but IL is to be
feared that it had
s1ME ELEMENTS OF TRUTH IN 1T.
Z Now, there is probably not a rnan among
these who throng the London bathrooms
who would not risk his life, if OCCASION re-
quired it, TO save that of any lady present,
or would hesitate to undergo serious ineon-
vepieDce if it were to be of material ser.
vice to lady. But fiom incidence, shy-
ness, want of care, or from some false esti-
mkte of what is good taste, the men neglect
in trifling matters that courtesy toward
women which in important matters would
guide them. This is not IS it
should be. A man loses nothing by observ-
ing these little points-for which there is no
better name than good manners-which
soften the intercourse of life, and prevent
30 many difficulties and misunderstanding
1t often indeed, happens that Incompatible
ity is the sole source of bad manners, and
that of two people each is afraid of the 9TH
er, and thinks him or her alone rude. But
this only applies to the association Of the
two, and has no reference to the absence Of
those outward graces which, ia the assem-
bly, of many, are of much effect. Men are
like sheep. II few of the most promi-
nent among the young men of the present
day were to set an example of 3 more strict
Observance of the form as well as the sub
stance of courtesy, much might be done in
a short time to remove that which is some
what of blot on our social habits.