Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1873-04-09
The False Inaugural.
BY DON PIATT.

In, what the New York Herald
terms It's "arf and arf" report Of the
Inauguration, compounded Of English
''stout" in the person Of Edmund Yates,
and American sparkling ale, in that
of Don Plat, we find several amusing
things. The bold Britishcr Is rather
heavy In his style, and rather fdlsome
10 his laudations Of everybody and
everything, determined to avoid the
rock on which Dickens foundered.- -
Our bolder brother of America SCOTS
undisguisedly at the whole perform
ance, and although slangy, is witty.
From the report Of tho latter we take
this capital hit. It has some very
characteristic touches. The False In
..-9---icr>-~c - 4 s;ii~..s-.
Fetlop citizens (without regard TO race,
color, or previous condition Of servi-
fude):
appear before you to take the oath
which the Constitution prescribes TO-
as President of the Uuited States
As l took the same oath four years
ago, | do not myself see any particu-
lar use in taking it again. However,
suppose something is proper to be
taken on such an occasion, and an
oath is as easy to take as anything
which has SO little dampness about it.
do not know but swearing agrees
with my health, for / do not remem-
ber anything else that have done
that / had afterwards so little to re-
call. i am glad to meet so many Of
my fellow-citizens and citizenesscs as
are present on this occasion, and |
hope that they will agee with me that
this is the greatest event Of the oc-
casion. have taken uncommon pain
to commit my speech to memory and,
after the pious manner Of our ances-
tors, have requested the prayers of
the clergy for my safe delivery. Al
though this is admitted to have been
bad year for Christians, ] feel that
have been considerably borne up and
strengthened by their petitions, and
that II l were AS tedious as a king !
could find it in my heart to bestow it
all upon my fellow citizens on this oc.
casion. During the past four years |
feel that | have done my duty. 1t is
said that n man acts best his part
when he attends to his own affairs
and let's those Of Others alone. have
in most cases mado that my rule Of
conduct. have taken good care of
my own interests and let tho country
take care OF its and have reason 10
believe that tho country is as well sat
isfed as | am with the arrangement.
tits an agreeable task TO man of my
feelings to acknowledge the receipt Of
articles Of use or ornament presented
to him as memorials Of past, and espe-
cially Of future good offices. In this
department of public duty the de-
mands upon my attention have heen
numerous, not so numerous, however,
as to beget any dislike to their repe-
ttion, and il is but fairfor me to sug-
gest that my hopes for the future are
In every respect as lively as my graf
itude for the past. If | have any
thing to regret it is that things have
now and then como TO hand, doubt.
less through the inadyortance incident
to the emotions ofthankfulness, marked
with the characters c. y. D., which |
am given to understand means either
Call On Dent or Collect On Delivery.
In either sense these letters are un-
welcome, and, in justice to myself, |
am constrained TO express the hope
that no occasion will hereafter be af-
forded for their repetition. The Credit
Mobilicr required great deal Of dclb-
Grafton of the most delicate character
Credit Mobilier Gas | have been in
formed by one of my near relatives
who is corrector Of the press), means
credit that emigrates in spite of tho
utmost care on the part Of members
Considerable credit has emigrated from
Congress during the past Winter, the
effect of which, it is to be feared, will
be unwelcome, not having been placed
where it will do the most good to tho
parties concerned. 1t is fact easily
dcmonstrable that the country is larg-
er tho more square miles it contains,
and tho more populous in proportion
TO the number of its inhabitants
This should lead US 10 consider the
means by which national greatness
may most easily be obtained. The
people of San Domingo are pressing
for admission into the Republican
party, and will add much to our force
at my next election. What the policy
of my government will be in that res
pcct will depend upon the views en-
tertain. The Secretary Of tho Navy
informs me that, under tho present
forms of construction, it will be i'm.
possible for our ships Of war to carry
with them those dry docks and coal
ing stations, away from which their
psrils are extremc. The safest place
in the world Gas l am informeuJ ior u
ship of war is in a dry dock. Tho
next is a coaling station We need
these, therefore, whenever our ships
of war 20 in search of our absconded
commerce, in the finding Of which
they have hitherto not been very sue.
cessful. And now, fcllow-citizons and
citizenessos, without regard 10 race,
color or previous condition of servi-
Jude, thank you for your attendance
and bid you welcome adieu. Flf
In China, when contractor cnga.
ges TO build O house, ho encloses the