Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-04

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thursday, SEPTEME
BURGLARY IN DANBURY.
Mr. s'""wiI kcr Has Lively Turn im
! Consequence.
From the Danbury News.
MIR. and Mrs. Lunwicker. of South
Main street, burn gas in their bedroom
all night. 1t is sort of company TO,
them, besides being a convenience in
case anything should happen. One
midnight, last week, Mrs. LunWickel
awoke and discovered that the
room was shrouded in darkness, and
thought she detected noise. She i'm,
mediately aroused Mr.. Lunwicker. Hall
awake, that unfortunate man jumped
out of bed in absence of any set.
tied plan of action, and ran against On
open bureau drawer, and screamed
murder" Then he lighted the gas,
and revealed to the astonished gaze OF
both an open bureau and :disordeted
contents. Mrs. Lunwicker sprang cut
of he'd at this sight, and dashed ner.
vously to the place where she kept her
watch and chain. They were gone.
She drew up her mouth Just rs q
woman does when she thinks she ought
to whistle and knows she cafi't,
dove headlong into the recepta.
Gle for her jowelIy. Behold that also
w"ssgone. Terrified by her losiaa,l she
screamed "Sarah.'',, Sarah is / youne
lady cousin visiting the family. Al the
SOUND Of the name Mr.. Lunwicker be-
came suddenly aware that a due defer
ence for 'Sarah's society demanded
more attention to his wardrobe than he
had yet been able to give it, and
dashed around the room for his pants.
ravenously scratching both of his hips
with his hands, Just as man
always does when he is bare.
legged and excited. Just as he secured
the pants and made a hopeless
effort to shove one leg into them.
Sarah was heard at the door. "Oome
in" shouted Mrs. Lunwicker. "What
are you doing, you crazy woman9"
missed Lunwicker, as his foot caught
IN the lining and refused to bulge an
inch further, and he pounded around
on one leg, and madly endeavored to
extricate himself from a dreadful
dilemma. Then Sarah's voice was
heard asking that the door he unlocked,
and Mrs. Lunwicker, crazed by her
loss, and unheedlng the ter.
rified expression of Mr.. Lunwick-
er's face, darted to the
door. keep away, keep away. I"
screamed Mr.. Lunwicker, in half sup
pressed voice, as the awful atroc,ty of
bis wife's action flashed upon him.
But her hand was on the key, and see-
ing that she was determined to let
Sarah in, he attempted to throw him
self against the door and prevent her,
but tlipped on the pantaloon legs and
came down on the floor on his back.
and as the only resort, rolled
under the bed. Then the door opened
and Sarah came in, and Mrs. Lun-
wicker burst into tears and sobbed out
an account of her loss, while the mis-
cradle man lay under the bed perspir-
ing at every pore, and hysterlcally
STRIVING to get his legs into his pants.
Where's John 20 said Sarah, with q
dreadful look of innocence is he
after the burglars?" A groan came
from under the bed. Mrs. Lunwicker
dropped down on her hands and knees,
and stared under there. "Here he is.
Sarah" she said, perfectly obliviors to
the facial contortion Mr.. Lunwicker was
making to intimldate her into silence.
ooh, Sarah,' said she with fresh
ontbutst Of grief, edo come here and
tell him he ought to go after the burg
lars" At this awful proposition from
his wife, Mr.. Lunwicker, who was
now firmly convinced that she had
lrretatively and forever lost her reason.
passionately shrieked, "Go away, YOU
mad woman, clear out both of YOU. orI
will come right out there in my bare
legs" At this threat Sarah screamed
and ran, and Mrs. Luuw1cker,
not knowing what else to do.
ran after her. Then the miserable
man crawled out from his concealment
and pulled on his pants, and was
tucking in the night shirt, when his
wife returned, looking very sheepish,
and said, 20, John, it was Sarah.
"What's that2" said Mr.. Lunwicker,
staring with frigh tful vehemence at his
wife. lit was Sarah that did it. It's
one of her Jokes. 90" SAID John.
Yes,' said Mrs. Lunwicker, "she
just did it for sport" ...Darn Sarah, "
said John, gratefully, as he proceeded
to pick the feathers and bits of curled
wool from his hair.