Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-09-18
Humorous.

AuAAOA OOOs
A FOND lover who serenaded his lady
the other night, in Southern city, was
was very wet when he got through-and
it didn't rain much, either.
THIS comes from Rhode Island
Here lies poor Johnny Pumblecod;
Have mercy him, gracious God!
He would on y4u, II he , were God
"SHA11 cut this loin of mutton sad
dlewise ?' said a gentleman. No,
said one of his guests, " cut 1T brides
wise, for then I may have chance to
get bit in my mouth
"HAvE the jury agreed ?" asked the
sheriff, as he met a court attache on the
stairs with q large pitcher in his hands.
s' Yes, sir they agreed to have gallon
of beer, and sent me out for 1t. !"
IT was expected the other day, when
Annie Dickinson rode to the top of
Pixies Peak, that she would make a
speech on the occasion; but it seems
that, for once, she was willing to let
Pike speak alone.
THE Congregatiorsolist sagely OBJ
serves cit is only in the pulpit that
striplings are preferred. The profess
sions of medicine and law demand ma
turity. The congregations seem to have
an appetite for veal.
SOME men seem to delight in wanton
destruction. An exchange says that
two men were lately seen tearing up the
street in neighboring city, and on the
sSme day several persons were observed
in the very act of pulling up the river.
SOMETHING THAT TAKEs.-The three
fold combination agency for selling /" WedHh
and Wonders of the BotSndless West" There
is much sure money in it, See advertisement.
"BoB, I have some idea of offering
myself for the legislature. Do you
think will make good run !? T" why,
yes, VIII, judging from the sample 1
saw the other day, when the big stick
was drawn on you. I think you will
make irst-rate run. ~.
A JOHN BULL, conversing with an In
dian, asked him if he knew the sun
never sets on the Queens dominions.
"No," said the Indian. "Do you
know the reason why P" asked John.
Because God is afraid to trust an
Englishman in the dark, was the
savage's reply.
"MAY it please your honor" said a
lawyer, addressing one of the city
judges, I" 1 brought the prisoner from
Jail on habeas corpus" "-Well,
said fellow in an undertone, who stood
in the rear of the court, {" these lawyers
will say anything. I saw the man get
out of cab at the court door,"
A GERMAN divine, who had been dec
GRATED with title, sent to the univer-
sity q request that the same degree
might be conferred upon his horse to
which he received the reply that there
was no precedent for bestowing the
honor upon horse, though the univer-
sity had in one case given it to an ass.
els Miss Blinking at home ?" asked
Mr.. Saunders of the Irish girl who an
swered the ring at the door. "Yes, /
b'laye she is. sir. I" Is she engaged Pr
cam is it engaged you say? Faith an
I can't tell ye, sir but she kissed Mr..
Vincent last evening as if she had not
seen the like Nv him, an it's engaged l
b'lave they are. sir. :"
DIR. REID, the celebrated medical wri-
ter, was requested by lady of literary
eminence to call at her house. Be
sure you recollect the address" said she,
as she quilted the room, No Ches-
terfieId street. " Madame" said the
Doctor, Sc I am too great an admirer of
politeness not to remember Chesterfield,
and, fear, too selfish ever to forget
number one."
A PRETTY DOy IN Du1bOWu DecaAo SO
intimate with one of his fathers horses
that he received bad kick in the face.
The doctor sewed up his lip, bandaged
his eyes, and poulticed his checks.
After few days spent in bed, the lad
| called for looking glass. One glance
was sufficient Father" he mildly
cried, F" do you think 1 shall ever be as
pretty again ?" No, my son." re-
| sponded the governor, "you'n never be
as pretty again, but you'll know more. !"