The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-05-10
THE TICK-NOB DEBATE.

Jonathan Jones and Didymus DoX were
rival candidates for congress in PennSylva-
MIA district The district was close, and the
contest hot and personal. After a rafting
fire at long range for more than month
without result, it was resolved to try the effect
of bringing the contestants to close quarters :;
in other words, it was arranged that they
should meet and discuss ''the issues of the
hour" at Tick-NOb a central and accessible
point, on the day before the election.
Both parties in DOMINIC their armor,
boosted as only he should boast who taketh
it off
box and his friends were sure Jones would
skulk, and Jones and his were quite rs Ger.
tain that box would never come to the scratch
But if neither backed out, not a "grcaScSpot'
of either would be left if the other was to be
believed.
An umbusCade OF secret at'idavits to the IF.
feet that DoX's wite's Sistcr-inlaw's brother
lnIaw who kept a grocery, sold sand in his
sugar constituted principal feature in the
Jones tactics. DoX, on the other hand, was
supplied with an equally convincing array of
proofs that Jones stcpiathcr's unclc'S aunt ;
cousin by marriage, had "a halfsister no bet.
ter than She should be. There masked bat.
tcricS held carefully in reserve on either side,
when opened at the last moment it was con.
tidcntially expected by those in the secret,
would put final settler on the "i>Sucs of the
hour
For the time being Tick Knob became tn,
center Of interest. Everybody was maxim!
ready To 20. In the remotest corner Of tn
district the din of preparation sounded
Carryalls, buggies, wagons, sulkics horse,
mules saddles, side-saddlcS and billions wcr
all in demand. To see Il couple of politician
worry each other was Il treat too rare to b
lOTr~Unc
The dawn of the cvcnttul day was a. hrigl
as the hopes hcraldcd. As Jones walked o
the platform seeming the morning air. an
waiting for the train To carry him To Ticl
Knob and To victory, his rcverieS were iii
lurbcd by Il touch on his shoulder.
Turning around he saw IN elderly gcntl,
mau-@u, We can hardly say he saw the eide
ly gentleman, for on the lattrr's arm hung
creature Of more surprising beauty than
had ever before entered the heart OF Jones /
conceive.
Going on the train, sir" the elderly gen
tcman asked
Jones bowed, without removing his eve
from the object that rivcted them.
Might ask you to take charge of "a lad
as far a the next station." the gentleman
continued.
Might he The question transported Jone
10 the heaven of the hours He stammcrc
something about being only too happy, an
was saved from making a complete ass ,
himself by the arrival of the train.
Recovering himself, he handed the lady o
board the train, where another piece of goo
fortune awaited him; the crowded state of In
car compelled him to sit by his charges sid,
and the road was a narrow-gauge. When
was building Jones had gone with the broa,
gauge PARTY; lac saw his error now
For the next half hour DoX and the issue
of ihc hour slipped from Jones memory. II
had never struggled for popular applause Il
hc now struggled to win favor in the sight q
a pair of lustrous eyes, far "lovelicr in thci
strength" than any Byron ever wrote Of MOI
hc faiicred himself, were his efforts who'll
unavailing. IIisflashes OF wit and gushcs o
sentiment were rewarded with more than ON
intoxicating smile and tender look that mad
him feel as though his entire cuticle was ris
ing into goose flesh"
AT the end of thirty minutes the conductor
sangout, @SOrghumdslel' Jones would hav,
sworn the minutes had been seconds. AK