, 1873-03-02

Of Griffin, Ga, is from the Register Of that place:
" He Was fine man in all respects; 5s WAS o"-
ing us seven dollars On that last game Of seve1-
up. but We will throw that in toward his head
stCue."
-11szs on THE 1oss OF Ac1xnoxarAE's poRraEaS1EAu.
I've lost my portmantcau!
~ pity your grief"
Il SIn siJ9it9ta ni9g d. Y thie{.s nS sermons!
The latest patent has been taken out By =
railroad restAurAteur It is for patent reve:si-
bio gutta-parcha besfsteak, which can be frie!
and served mp four times q day for year, before
1t requires renewal
- Wife, DO yeu know that I. h.ve got tho
travagance! You're the spend-thsiitiest lest man
ever did see, to 60 and lay cut moneJ for
such trash, when need c new bonnet SO
much"
IA Quaker, walking near London, on road
leading to that city, met youth who asked his
the road to London, is It 7'' "Friend," was the
stern reply, II understand thee not. Thou first
tellest me lie, and then askest me ques~
tion."
1t Now. young people," said professor Of
natural history to his class, SNOW, then, as to
hens. a hen has the capacity Of laying just 600
eggs and no more aud she finishes the Job in
just about five years- Now, what Is to be done
with her after that7 "Cut OF her head and sell
ASA 49,
whose father dea1t in poultry.
A Georgia co1ored 1yceum discussed, the
question: (which is the most useful, paper or
gunpowder7" The debate WAS closed By dis
'6pose dar was bar at do door, and you was to
go dar and shake de- paper at him, you'd SEQ
what de bar would do. But jess shoot csnnon
at him and see wot comes. calls for de ques-
ton" The President forthwith decided in favor
Of powder.
One OF the Ohio papers tells about brave
little boy out there who found { broken rail on
the railroad track, and perceiving the peril in
which the train would be placed Il It should
come dashing pas: without warning, set out On
ter cold, in order that ho might carry the first
news OF the accidcnt to his father, who is local
editor Of paper published in the neighhoring
village. ''''.-
Western women think that people are grow;
ing over-fussy nowadays. Ha man dies, and
two or three gains OF strJchnine, or, half .
pound Of arsenic, or an ounce or 40 Of anhmony
be found in his stomach, h1s poor wife has to 90
of to prison, and go through q trial. and sec her
aosiecs her e sewing until abe has not thins ii
to wear.
"A Pittsburgh lawyer and doctor who have
rooms in the same building frequently indulge
day he disciple &C Of BlaeEstons @ s stuck bis 6ead
within the u. D.b door, and said, . Doc, coma
in and have game OF euchre." Tho other re-
piled, IL never played euct1e on Sunday, yet,
and I'll bo III over will" This lawyer was
seid, apologetically, I'm sorry, Doc, but what
do you eay to seyen-up 2" Tbs other feIt molli-
fed, and follow ed his friend, saying: :" I don't
care il do take 4 hand at auction pitch
A pions old lady lay for ? long time n viths
on her behalf were requested in the Wednesday
evening prayer-nestiug Of her church. It was
egain and again stated that abe WIS very low,
and toward the last that she WIS only kept alivo
by eating the tenderest squads, delicate1y broil-
Cd. She required about three . day; and all the
young pigeons In the neiShborhood seemed
likely to be inundated on the altar OF har pre-
carious existence. One evening after tho usual
solemn request had been made, followed ,py tho
diet, a plain-Bpoken deacon arose and said:
Brethren, We have long been importuning tho
Lord to restore our good sister to health, but It
don't seem to be His will. SO move that wo
intetnit these prayers and give ths squads
show"
Tho ssDrawer," In Hmper's for March,
Is almost wholly c!srical in its wit this month
One Of the exceptions is this physiological hui
NOR:
"How beauttfuli I" said the ta11ess Of American
poets, regarding With delight the llosa1o chezuba
M;aphhaeps> e.; On lady" seevobotsons. How oeauts-
"what q PITY replied ths Lady, utschIcvous1y,
you oes aIe nos always Is good Is hese cheruts
BE-, il We were pbystcany constructed II the same z5
all head and wingst7
There are many who hold in blessed memory
the sainted Dr. Cannon, Professor OF Pastoral
Seminary Of the Reformed Dutch Church. He
was indeed gentleman OF tho olden time, pre-
serving even to the last the costume Of a hun
dred years ago. He hold the relation of 2
brother in affection to Dominic Comfort, OF the
Presbyterian church OF Kingston, N. J.:
n.a{or bal AoovH IT, nFnr41 md
1T dinner unmarked: =.
brother Comfort, overheard an old Indy saying,
this morning. the domtnios sermon Was very comfort
70 which tho raid Comfort responded:
~ nonly natural eonssquease, ny good bEothsr. :
Cannons mouth 2"
The following camo undor tbs writer's owa
notice:
The subject Of this anecdote has gone tho way Of tt.
man IVES anxious to sustain On he way he end tbs
minister got talking on religion Said the minister:
:" Mr.. Thomas, am afr1id that very few Of lA5
sufficient attention to spiritual matters"
The reply, given with genuine seriousness by the old
man s.1 w.; fact oon,.. ,he7. ,,nt non, ., TIN,
attends as we'd ought to to the solar systcm."
Bishop Vail. OF Kansas, tells little tale that
illustrates forcibly the free -and~easy way Of life
OF the frontiersman, and tho scant ceremony
with which his funeral services are conducted:
"1n one nttle graveyard where hAppeEed to to
graves, and my informant who discharged the chcs
Of undertaken told that the occupants Of tweEty-
sx Of them were Killed in xrsys, or, ~ he Eihiiy
pressed it. died and vera bur1ed nih their boots on"
Tho twenty-seveuth grave was that Of child.
Here is story Of d church collection In
little Methodist church in the Pines in New
jersey:
Tho 1nintater gave notice that rs It would soou b
timo for the city gentry to come ont with thtI fa-
les 1t necessary 70 hare the church cleaned a:5
and for that purpose collection would
be taken up. Tho steward was directed to rsss tho
p1ote, and the pooplo enjo1ned to gfre literally.
1t was in the old time Of the multifarios bark tl
and the huge copper pennies. Ths ate*=Id hsd
Esaased the plate and returned with the colechoc.
This the preacher counted and found to be seventeen
cents Ater sng he s,9e e1mpe Of th9
whItewash this Westinghouse for seventeen cents
Brother you will pass the plato round agsin" It hap
pened that New York gentleman IVES present, much
In the character Of The hrat swallow Of summer AID
be deposited hredollar bankbl ia the plate Wssn
the plate was returned it contained, betes tbs bill,
SIX moro of ths big centa Not noticing the cents tie
minister took up the BILL looked At the denominatton
had