Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-07-23
CONCERNING HOGS.

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full, the departure OF two persons iron
each side doesn't afford seat Tor slthe
OF the dozen or so untortunates bangiln
on by the straps TO sit down. This phe
nomenon. Of course, is due 10 the suddel
and rand expansion Of the female form
seated on either side Of the gaps mad
by the departure of the two on side
previously mentioned, but what cause
this expansion is mystery. Mean
while, these expansive ladies wonde
why some man isn't gentleman enougi
to get UP and let that woman SIT down
Did you ever notice maiden otrlPene'
maturity. who feels and dresses and trie
10 look lust As young as ever she did, ge
aboard a street carr If not, just watcl
the next one aud you will observe thu
followipe actions. She stands at the curl
and waves a silk umbrella at the driver
with a pleasant smile, while she shades
her ewes from the dazzling sun with one
delicstely gloyed hand. This Is 10 show
that she takes no care Of her complexion
and is not afraid Of its freshness belnl
spoiled. When the car stops, she trips
with all the lightness OF sylph TO the
platform, giving little skip on eact
step Of the car, and little start OF tim
idity when the conductor puts his arm
around her, as is the manner OF his class
When she gets inside her sprightliness
does not desert her, aud her buoyancy
forbids her getting her heels to the tioor
She stands in the aisle for an instant
teetering" on her toes. like robin IN
A meadow, till some gentleman rises and
offers her a seat. Then, with little
affected start Of surprise, little girl
ish . laugh, and little blush Of pleasure
she exclaims, "0h, don't rise. | am not
the least tired, and can stand just as
well as mott" which ceremony being
duly performed, she sinks, with a
sprightly hitch and a great ruifiing OF
skirts, into the profiered seat.
The railroad hog is sometimes very
serious nuisance in the street cars, but
not too numerous to mention in this con-
nection. He is Of two species, the male
and female. The former is known by
his occupying position near the center
of one side of the car, with his legs ex-
tended diagonally in the direction of the
center and forward end. One big loot
is carelessly thrown across the knee, so
as to brush against every one who passes,
and quietly swings so as to touch the
legs of the nan sitting next the hog, and
get dust on his black trousers. This po-
sition assumed, the hog calmly sits and
spits tobacco juice into the aisle and
over his neighbors' feet, and is haughtlly
unconscious of the indignant looks and
whispered comments of his timid trav-
cling companions. The female Of the
genus usually wears either an obtrusive
hoop skirt or one of those short, poky,
unhandy club umbrellas, and is always
accompanied by several bundles. 1t
two of the species are together, the OPP
portuniiy OF witnessing her in all her
prison majesty is better. Then they sit
diagonally Of the seat, facing each
other thus: V, while the triangular
space between them and the back OF
the car is filled by their bundles. And
they chat and discuss the best way
of cooking eggs, and old Mrs. Simpkin s
new bonnet, and that Perkins girls
baby, and Johnny's mumps, and the
lectures, and Rubinsteins piano reci-
tails, and the anniversary meetings, and
the work Of grace among the Karen 8,
and the foundlings dinner, and Laird
Golfers trip to Boston, and other mat
tiers, ancient and modern. Aud SO they
90 ON from gossip to religion, and down
again to gossip, and up and down the
whole gamut of possible feminine con-
yersation. And all that time some
tired, bashlul clerk, or some poor woman
with baby, is standing up in the aisle,
hanging BY one hand to the strap, and
"just ready to drop" while the stream
of twaddle flows on, and the female hogs
are profoundly unconscious Of it all, I'M
less as is not very often the case, the
conductor understands his duties and
makes them move up. And if he does,
they put on indignant looks and say
how uncivil and rude these conductors
are. And the worst Of it all is, that the
worst hogs of both species are not nee
essarily those who wear the worst
clothes.
Most people would shrink from dis
cussion of private affairs, business or
social in a street car, but there are
those to whom no place is SO pleasant as
in the midst Of crowd for the washing
of dirty linen and the ventilation Of
private grievances. To them nothing
is more agreeable than to titillate the
unwilling ears OF their unhappy travel
ing companions with the details Of some
disreputable scrape friend has got into,
or to publicly quarrel over some debt of
IS cents or so, and call one another
participated liars" and goat thieves "
But these people are only a branch OF
the hog family, after all.
To the unjaundiced eye, nothing could
be more. pleasant or desirable than the
spectacle Of full-grown man, overcome
with fatigue or new wine, and gently
sinking into the arms of Morpheus in a
street car. The graceful undulations Of
bis body keeping time TO the swaying Of
the car, and the staccato jerks of his
head which threaten to dislodge it from
its parent stem and roll it ike ripe
apple into the laps of the next neigh
bors, as the car jolts over the ends of
the rails, afford food for thought 10 the
moralist and amusement TO the children.
Especially SO to the latter, if they chance
to sit beside the peaceful slumberer aud
have to dodge lively, as it we're, to avert
impending ruin, as he sways over them,
and menaces the pummelling OF their
tender heads with his own, welded ham
mer-vise, as an unusual jolt imparts ex-
ira motion to his neck. The moral is OBJ.
vious, but | don'tremember whatit is. 1t
was one Of this class who, after grad
ually sinking till his head reposed in the
lap OF his Heighbor, awoke, after some
minutes, and with great dignity re-
marked, Excu thic) huse me, | was
thi (hic) hinkin' Of somethin' else.
There be those who assert there is a
place for everything, while others take
the broad democratic ground that man
has a right to make love anywhere, even
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