Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-10-09
Keeping a Cow.

THE man across the way who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his own garden
through the summer, has bought COW.
His wife told him how nice it would be
to have a cow on the premises, so as to
have milk fresh and pure every day, and
always in time, and always in abundance.
Then they could make butter themselves,
and not eat the rank stuff out of the store.
She told him there was enough stuff from
the garden and table to almost keep the
COW and the product would be just about so
much clear gain. He figured it up him
self with a pencil, and the result surprised
him. He wondered why he had not kept
cow before and inwardly condemned
himself for the loss he had been intiicting
upon himself. Then he bought a COW.
In the evening Of its arrival he went out
to milk it. But the animal was excited
by the strange surroundings, and stepped
on our friend, and kicked over his pail
and nearly knocked one of his eyes out
with her tail. He worked at the expert
ment for an hour, but without any success.
Then his wife came out to give advice,
and his son came out to see the fun. The
COW put one of her heels through the wo
mans dress, and knocked the boy down
in the mud, which ended their interest in
the matter. OF the neighbors MIXED the
animal that night, and came around the
next morning and showed the man
how TO do it. The third day the COW
escaped the surveillance of the boy who
was left to watch her. and when the man
came home at night she was nowhere to
be found. The boy had also disappeared,
and our neighbor found he was obliged
to hunt her up before supper He walked
around for awhile, and then returned
home, but the animal had not been seen.
Then he went off again and made very
thorough search, and about ten o'clock
that night he came back with the COW, his
clothes begrimmed with perspiration and
dust, and his face flushed and scratched.
lie wanted to kick the animals ribs in,
but realizing that such a course would re-
suit in pocuniary damage, he changed his
mind. The boy wishes he had 0beyed
| the first impulse. On the fourth day they
churned, so as to have fresh butter for the
table. The mother took hold of the
dasher first, because she used to do it
| when a girl, and liked no better sport
| She pounded away till she caught crick
| IN the back that doubled her up like
knife, and then she put the heir to it. He
had been standing around eagerly wait
ing for a chance, and grumbling be
! cause he didn't get it, and when the
dasher was placed in his hands he was
! so happy he could hardly contain him
! self He pumped away for an hour
at it; then he said if he had to do it any
more he would run away and be a robber
1 AT noon the man came home and learned
| the situation He was little disguised
/ at the 'tom-foolery," as he called it, and
! took hold of the churn himself, and made
! 1t bounce awhile. Then his stomach
! commenced to fall in and his spine to
| unJolnt, and his shoulders to loosen. He
stopped and wiped off the perspiration
! and looked around with a melancholy
! cast 10 his features, and went at it again.
| The butter didn't come, however, but
/ everything in the way Of oratorial effect
| did. He got SO dreadfully excited that
his wife, smelling strong of camphor,
| took the dasher away from him and went
| to work herself At this the son put his
! cap under his jacket, and miraculously
disappeared Later in the day the milk
/ was poured around the grape vine. On
/ the NTH day the COW knocked down a
| length OF fence to the next lot, and ate al
/ tHe oranges from a tree that stood in a
tuo' and when the people ATTEMPTED TO
uflve her ont she carried away a new ivy
on her horns, knocked down a valuable
,ase Oh mowers, and capped the climax
| o ~ SUN o4ihg over box of moses, and
lallnS on a pile of dollhouse frames.
oh me sixth day our neighbor sold his
COW to butcher, and now eats strong
butter which comes from the store. Dr.
! bury Meas.