The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-05-28
Adventures Of n Danbury Man.

A Danbury man started for Greenwich,
Friday, 10 sec an iron fence. What he
wanted to sec an iron fence for we don't
know, and It really makes no difference.
He wanted to 60 OF on the $50 train so
he hurried home to get ready. His wife
and vicious outside woman were clean
ing house, and il was some little time be-
fore no could get his society suit ready.
In the meantime he opened fire on the
largest half Of q Custard pie, holding Il in
his hand yelling for his things. When
she brought his ovcrcoat, he set the pie In
a chair, 10 put on the coat, but In his
nervousness stepped on the end Of long
handled whilewash brush which was bal.
ancCd across pail, and the other end
flew up and discharged about pint OF
tho awful mixture over the sofa, wall
paper, and his paintings and indignant
wife. She made remark and he con-
iradiCtcd it. Then he sat down In the
chair where the pie was, and got up again
with q howl that would have melted the
stoutest heart. Sho wanted him to wait
till she sCraped off the surplus, but he was
too mad 10 converse in words oi
more than one syllable, and started
for the depot, and boarded the train, and
in the seclusion Of the baggage car re-
moved the offensive lunch. lie got to
Greenwich all right, and looked at the
fence. We hope he admired II. Then he
started Tor home, but missed the train,
and rs the next train was an express and
didn't stop at Greenwich, he was obliged
to walk to the draw.bridge at Cos Cob or
stay in Greenwich all night. So he walk.
cd up there in the rain, but didn't mind It
mu III as he had an umbrella, and the pie
was pretty well dried IN. When he got
10 Cos Cob, he stood up on fence to look
at the scenery, and swear, when sharp
gust Of wind took of his hat and carried
It across q bog lot. Then he stepped
down on the other side too amazed to ex-
press himself, and another gust oil wind
came along and turned the umbrella in-
side out. A briei conversation here en-
sued between himself and the umbrella,
aud he again started for the hat When
he got up to 1t he kicked it taround several
times, and then jammed it down on his
head, and started once more through the
bOgS as the train drew up at tho
bridge. 1t was q terrible struggle, as
the bogs were uncertain, but he strained
and coughed and spit, and hoWled, and
swore, and II did seem as if he would
catch 1t after all. What he thought US he
stood on that fence and watched the train
sail across the bridge, no human being |
can tell. An hour later he appeared at
Stamford, wet through 10 the skin,
with mud, and with an express
sion on his face that would have scared
hydraut. Backing himself against the
depot he stood there until near midnight,
and then went up on the owl train TO
Norwalk, falling asleep in the meantime,
and narrowly escaping being carried by |
the depot. Here he took the freight
train for Danbury. arriving at home just
before daylight. His vile was abed, but
not sleeping. She lay there torn by fore
bodings, and hsrrassed by suspense.
perhaps he was dead, and lying on the
cold ground in the rain. Then she
thought OF his liIeless body, and groaned;
and thought of the pie and groaned again.
She knew his knock the moment it
sounded, and rushing down stairs in the
costume appropriate to that hour, she
threw herself into his hair, and hystcriCal'
ly shouted, 10, you old rascal come In
hGre."-DanbuTy ReIrS.