The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-10-08
SCRAPS.


enemies than bad men are to thel
triends.-Bishop Hall.
"IIeroism is cheap" said a ma
the other day. "What the worl
wants is common sense"
"No Gunen Aloud Here,' is
sign intended for the informatio
of sportsmen down in Maine.
"Experiencc," says poor Richard
"keeps an expensive school, bu
fools will learn at no other.'
A bachelor editor, who had
pretty unmarried sister, latel.
wrote to one similarly circun
stanced, "Please exchange
Seven young women have enter
ed the University of Vermont
much to the delight of the boy:
belonging to that institution.
An ignorant old lady was asked
by minister visiting her if she
had religion. She replied: 81 have
slight touches of it occasionally"
Five hundred newspapers head
&c their reports of the Worcester
Convention with that illiterative
phrase of spontaneous wit, "Butler
Bottled. ."-CommcrciM.
Two young ladies of La Crosse
were standing by the side of a
ditch thirteen feet wide, which they
didn't know how to cross, when
their escort said "snakes," and they
cleared it in a bound.
When a burglar gets hurt in
climbing through the scu+tle of a
Louisville house the charitable in.
mates take him in, nurse him ten
derly, make out the papers careful.
ly, and when he gets we'll, tuck
him away tidily in the penitentiary
The Boston Bulletin makes this
malevolent inquiry: "Why cam
a areportcr write a paragraph con
cerning the return of a man whose
wife, supposing him dead, has mar
ried in his absence, without lug
ging into Enoch Arden two OF
three times ?"
The Cape May Ocean Ware has
leading article about mosquitoes
in which it says that the crop Al
that place, though late, is all excel
lent one, and that the size OF the
birds is rather above the average
Visitors are leaving about as fas'
as railroad accommodations vii
permit them.
Two Titusville, Pa, lawyers en-
tered in a solemn compact not tc
drink intoxicating liquors for
year except when out duck shoot
ing, under forfeit of 500. One O.
them quenches his thirst without
losing the ducats by keeping
duck in his back yard to fire at whe,
he is dry, and the other has invest
ed in one also.
One of Coughs stories was {
neat hit at those dilatory people
who are always behind time. Some
one said to a person of this class
81 see that you belong to the three
handed people" "Three-handed
that's rather uncommon, isn't it ?
"Oh, no, common enough-twc
hands like other people-and q
leetle beh1ad-hand."
A Sunday-school teacher vas ex.
planning the omnipresence of the
Deity to his Scholars, and ended
by telling them that He was every.
where. Whereupon a red-headed
boy asked: els lie in my pocket p
The teacher replied that the ques
ton was rather profane but he
would answer Eyes, He was every.
where" "''I've got you there said
the boy; 81 ant got no pocket
The following tender missive
was picket up in a ladies' sitting
room at a railroad depot: 'Dea1
Chas. do you love me as much as
YOU did at a quarter to twelve las
night? Say you do, dearest, auc
it will give me spirit to 60 dowr
and tackle those cold beans lef
over from yesterday The Fonda
Democrat is responsible for the
above paragraph. Probably b,
next week Mr.. Loadwick will bt
prepared to give Charles answer
which will undoubtedly run some
what in this wise: "Dear Susan,
do. Tackle them BEANS
A rather amusing incident oc
Cured on the Cheshire railroad the
other day. One of the passenger:
considerably annoyed the ccnduc
tor by repeatedly asking him tc
tell him when he got to W. The
conductor told him if he would
keep still he would tell him
when he got there. The con
d ,ctor having so much to it emo
t.. or from som other cause, forgot
it until tley were two miles from
the station, when, suddenly remem.
bering it, he rung the bell and the
train was run back to the station
49, ;f>rp,o1 tho opnt tlaro r