The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1873-02-08
THE CONDUCTORS DREAM.
BY REV. T. DE WITT TALMAGE, D. D.

BY REV. T. DE WITT TALMAGE, D. D.
From tie Methodist.
He had been on the train all day, had
met all kinds of people, received all sorts
of treatment, puuctured all kinds Of tick
cts, shouted "All out" and "All aboardw
till throat, and head, and hand, and foot
were weary. 1t would be long while be-
fore we would get to another depot, and so
he sagged down in the corner of the car to
sleep. He was in the most uncomfortable
position possible. The wind blew on his
neck, his arm was hung over the back of
the seat, he had one foot under him, and
his knee pressing hard against brass
hinge. In that twisted and convoluted
position, he fell asleep, and soon began to
dream.
1t seemed to him, in his sleep, that the
car was full of disagreeables. Here was
while the rain and sleet drove in. There
was man who occupied the whole seat,
and let the ladies stand. Here sat man
smoking three poor cigars at once, and
expectoratng into the beaver hat of the
gentlemen in front. Yonder was burg
lar on his way to Jail, and opposite a muir
derer going to the gallows. He thought
that pickpockets took his watch, and ruff
fans refused to pay their fare. A woman
travelling alone shot at him a volley of
questions: "Say, conductor, how long
before we will get to the junction ?" care
you sure we have not passed it?" "Do
you always stop there?' "What time is
it?" Madam, do keep quiet. None OF
your impudence"' elbow far from here
to the Junction. "Do you think that
other train will wait ?" "Do you think
we will get there in time?' ''Say, con-
ductor, how many miles yet?" care you
looking out?'' "Now, you won't let me
go past, will you?'' "Here! conductor,
here. Help me out with my carpet bag
and band box and shawl and umbrella and
this bundle of sausage and head cheese"
What was worse, the train got going one
hundred and fifty miles an hour, and pull
ing the connecting rope, it broke, and the
cars got off the track, and leaped on again,
and the stove changed places with the
wood box, and things seemed going to ter
rible split and unmitigated smash. The
cities flew past The brakes we're power
less. The whistle grew into a fiend' S
shrek. Then the train began to slow up,
and sheeted ghosts swung lanterns along
the track, and the cars rolled into a white
depot, which turned out to be a great mar
BILE tomb: and look back to see his passen-
gers they were all stark dead, frozen in
upright horror to the car-backs
Hearing by the mans snore, and seeing
by his painful look, he was having an aw-
full dream, we tapped him on the shoulder
and said, Conductor! turn over that seat,
and take my shawl, and stretch yourself
out, aud have comfortable nap" "Thank
you, SIR he said, and Immediately
sprawled himself out in the easiest way
possible. He began his SAUNDERS Just as an
express train glides gracefully out of Pitts
burgh depot; then went at it more earn.
est'v, lifted all the brakes, put on all the
steam, and in five minutes was under
splendid Roadway. He began a second
dream, but it was the opposite of the first.
He thought that lie had just stepped on
the platform of his car, and a lady handed
him boquet fresh from the both A
long line of railroad presidents and super
intendents had come to the depot to see
/ him off, and tipped their hats as he glided
out into the open air. The car was an
| improvement on Pullman's best. Three