The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-09-06
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

thing foolish We confess 10 Il very N'lh''"' Nv
ing in view of having been affected hy rcadin
in q late Chicago Journal a hcartrcndinE ohituaf
of the late Hon. PhctuS Sawyer, of Wis, an
subsequently. discovering that the said Iachrl
NOSE obituary was little better than pald pun
rotten up by the Jo,nmrl Bohemians at do'la
line. Among the bills presented against Nj
Savers estate was the following;
Chicago, Aug %, 1873
The Late Hon. Philetus Sawyer
To Chicdgo Evening JOujndl Dr,
tn one obituary notice-l00 lines at 81 $500
per line ........... ..............".s loVo
The Boston Transcript says the French Acade
my has declared against the use oil conee' I'M
viii not settle it, unless they exhibit the grounds
Gold is so plenty in Vigo county, Indiana
according to gcologlst of Terrc llaute, that an
able.bodied man can clear from forty TO SKI.
cents day by mining for it almost anywhere II
the ncghborhood. The farmers say it pays bet
fer than RAISING corn at present rates of freight
The Kansas City Jouraal does honor to on
credulty by asking us To belleve the story that
coIorpd man in that place, feeling Il pain in IN
side lear the hip, found the prong OF Il pitchiorh
protruding half an inch. The iron was removed
by a physician and measured seven and ha
inches in length. THE strange part OF INC
story" SAYS the Journal, "is that the coloreC
man denies all knowledge OF the manner in whici
The prony rot there, although on his right side
there is a scar which is certainly the point of Gu
trance, and We are inclined to think, If he would
tell all he knows about the pitchfork, there
would be 4 story of chicken roost or some
thing worse, tod
4 Louisville man. according to the Co'r'T-
J1u.aal, has sunfower fourteen feet high, three
bolls on his leg and cold in the head, but yet
he saws that there's nothing in this world worth
living for.
On tombstone in South Carolina Is the fol-
lowing beautiful tribute to departed worth:
Here lies the body Of Robert GOrdin.
Mouth almighty and teeth aCkordn,
Stranger tread lightly over this wonder -,
If he opens his mouth, you're gone by thunder
president Grant" says one Of his hcnchmcn
has given three lots 10 the Mcthodiste OF Nau
kce, Iowa, to build church on But the quco-
ton Of most interest is: What Office ECKER gave
those lots TO President Grant?-th'ca9o Times.
Grace Greenwood says that "The fact is there
is too many of us women. And there seems no
relief for coming generations, except through
the heroic remedy OF quietly putting al iGihaic
infants out Of the way Nothing could be so
good for us except long and glorious success
sion of Herods"
Even the great Philadelphia cpitaphist is oc-
casionally put to hard straits to overcome the
difficulties of rhyme, as witness the following
eptaph
Here lies, alas morc's the pity,
Al that remains Of Nicholas Ncwcity.
" Bills name was Ncwtown.'
Some men are very proud Of their heroic wiycs,
but Smith isn't happy and will apply for d.
yorce His wife broke burglars back the other
night, knocked out three OF his front teeth,
sprained his leg and broke his arm. She said
she would not have done it in such style, only
she was under the impression that it was her
husband coming in the back way tipsy.
\ Philadelphia Alderman saw his dear wife
fading day by day, and he prevailed upon her to
30 TO the country She started, but returned
next day and found her faithful husband drink
ing wine with strange women In spite Of her
falling health she didn't stop smashing furni.
tire until there was only one chair left.
Some fellow who thinks he knows says: Kiss.
ing lady with an Ellzabethan run on is about
%. much fun Us embracing circular saw in full
motion
Even man with wart on hi, nose Ia, right,
in Baltimore Mr. johnson, Of that city, lately
recovered five hundred dollar, Of u man who
spoke Of him a. Warry johnson"
The Southwestern sanitary Association says
that indigenous cholera arises from eating
green fruit containing the germs Of catcrpillar,.
II
Which means, in other words, that the man
v 10 nas cholera simply has royH2. Don't be-
licyc it.
Henry Wattcr,on, Of the Louisville Co4r,..I
Joaret, who +, now travelling in Europe, doc,
not share M" average Englishmun's admiration
II the great London Times Says he:
nave been reading this stately compound Of
noppy-cork every morning nov for three weeks,
having plenty Of time to wade through the whole /
IF il, and mus, say that Of al the illustrations
Vi CANNON aud presumption furnished by the .
Dgy,m VI England, 1t i the most transparent
and absurd
Max Auc.rr know, Of one Philadelphia man .
who once laughed at q Iohr, and the doctors
hustled him right of to an insane asylum. Hit
"ts joke of Adclcr's the doctor was correct
Ca. EDqi'ysr
IN eastern paper, mentioning the fact that
Mr.. Liyermorn, by Il recent accident in the
White Mountains had 4 leg broken, scntcutous.
y remarks: "Suahan accident TO Lydia Tuomp-
son would have been national calamity"
Ia q recent suit at Fort Wync husband swore
that his wife had the temper of Satan She was
IN the audience, and, to prove how false were hi,
statements, She hurled a stick Of wood and
Knocked him ont Of the witncss-boy