The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-05-31
ANECDOTES.

i
men yesterday put on a broad brimmed hat
and drove down to the Kansas Pacific de.
pot to meet the incoming Friends. Seeing
an elderly couple on the platform, our Jehu
remarked:
will thee ride over to the city 2"
The couple assented, and moved towards
the hack.
"Will thee be taken to hotel or to a
Friends hodse?" asked the hackman, in q
.subdued tone.
TO hotel,' was the reply, as the pair
stood at the hack door, ..4
where is thou's baggage?" said the tri-
umphant hackman. .-.-
| A faint look of suspicion passed over the
face of the man of peace, as he remarked to
| his spouse, Come, Hannah" and turned
away from the hack, leaving the driver
thereof wondering where and how he had
made break"
A SHREwD LAwYER-In 1863 fat man
rushed into the office of wel-known New
Hampshire lawyer, and told him he was
drafted.
"The deuce you are!" said the lawyer
1t must be strong man that could draft
q man of your size"
"Well, | am drafted, and want you to get
me off. will pay you well for it,
Every WE'LL" and they proceeded to the
Office of the provost marshal.
Here" said the lawyer I've got sub
stitute"
He wont do" said the marshal; he's
too. fat and wheezy he can't march,"
Cannot you take him just for me said
the lawyer. .....-- -..
NO." said the marshal, " it's no use; I
don't want him."
well, then, scratch his name off the
list, for he is drafted, and came here with
me to be exempted"
The marshal saw they had proved too
much for him, and without another word
ordered the mans exemption papers.
A FUNNY ANECDoTE.-A French philos-
opher of excellent heart, but somewhat &c
centric, lately discharged a servant. Anoth-
er presented himself; and when matters were
nearly settled the gentleman said: Ills
ten, my good fellow: am not unfair, but
hate to waste words. You must under
stand me at hint. For example, when
say, Give me my razors to shave me- you
must bring me at the same time warm wa
ter, soap, napkin in fact, all the accesso-
ries of the toilet. And so with everything"
For some time all went on to marvel, and
our friend congratulated himself on having
SO excellent a servant. One day he felt in
disposed, and told his man to go for the
doctor, who lived few steps off Finally ct
the end of three hours, back came the ser
want. well, sir" said his master, "what
made you so long time gone for the doc
tor, who lives close at hand? MA
fois," he replied, Monsieur remembers
that when he give me an order must think
of all he will be likely to need. Thus, |
started for the DOCTOR then the surgeon, in
case there should be any operation to per-
form the nurse, in case she would be need
ed to pass the night; the notary, in case
Monsieur should wish to make his will !;
and the undertaken and the grave-digger in
case he should die"
AN UNEXPECTED CALL.-In the town of
Peacham, Vermont, there resided, in the
days long gone, the facetious and eccentric
Judge M.
The Judge and his wife had been visiting
some friends in the Southern States, and
when on their way back, were overtaken by
snowstorm. He still kept on, nevertheless,
anxious to reach home, as the week and
the year were both fast growing to a close,
but in passing the residence of an old friend,
he was intercepted, and inducements offered
to pass the night under his roof. As it was
fast growing dark, and the prospect of
reaching the next station not very fattering,
he concluded to stop. After seeing his fine
old Morgan brown safely stabbed and fed,
himself and host adjourned to the house,
where, after doing ample justice to the we'll
spread table of Vermont fare, he sat down
to enjoy his pipe and an evenings social
conversation with his friend and his family
The Judge took the precaution to mention
two or three times in the course of the even
ing, that it was habit of his to battle or
sponge himself all over with cold water ev-
cry morning. That to it, in great meas
ure, he attributed his general good health.
The good lady OF the house, from these
quiet hints, very thoughtfully supplied his
sleeping apartment with large tin pailful
of water, together with the necessary appar-
atus wherewith to perform his morning alb
lutions. In due course the judge and his
wife were shown to their room. which was
situated at the head of fight of stairs that
led directly mp from the kitchen into the
room, and unprotected at the top by balus-
tiers or ratings, or aught to prevent a fall
and broken head, where their host, bidding
them goodnight" left them to seek their
much needed repose. The judge smiled as
he surveyed the result of his gentle hints
as evinced in the pail and its surroundings !;
but the laugh was not to be all on one side.
The first of January broke clear and cold
on the following morning, and the judge
arose and proceeded to his accustomed
aquatic performance. The water in the
pail had frozen over during the night, and
in breaking 1T the judge spilled a quantity
of water, and in pouring it into the bowl, he
spilled still more, which froze almost as
soon as it touched the floor. The judges
veyed the little pond frozen about the head
of and down the stairs. The judge put on
his slippers and stepped manfully up. to the
water pail, to begin, when. unwlttlngiy
stepping upon the ice, his feet suddenly
went out from under him, and accoutred as
he was" slid, bump, bump. thump,-down
stairs, through the door-whose hasp gave
way before his weight and lmpetus-right
into the kitchen, full length, where the
women folks were busily preparing break
fast. Getting upon his feet as quickly as
possible, he exclaimed, Ladies, wish you
q happy New Year," skipped up stairs,
followed by burst Of laughter from the
Kitchen whose culinary operations were
thus ludicrously interrupted. 1t is said
that those females had a very Indifferent
idea of the judges Judicial abilities from
that dav