The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-02-08
ANECDOTES.

aIter the dreeley makeup. Settled among
the barren, rocky hills of Maine, where ex-
treme shrewdness or scratch hard was ab-
solutely necessary to prevent starvation,
time and circumstances had served to
sharpen many original qualities that go to
make up the witty, sarcastic lawyer, without
a regular education. He had read much,
and went about with dirty clothes, much
as all philosophers do. In fact, the hat and
coat had existed nearly as long as the owner,
while the shirts were usually changed after
they had been worn out. AS whole, the
old Squire was considered the intellectual
prodigy of the town. In the petty trials be-
fore smaller Courts, the small lawyers of the
neighboring towns had walked up his cutting
sarcasm once each, and shut down.
After time, circumstances drew him into
the Circuit Court, to defend poor widows
right in property, against the encroachmeDts
of certain scion of one of the aristocratic
families at the State capital. He was pitted
against young, diamond pinned, ruffle-
shirted pink of propriety, educated beyond
his calibre to bear, and exceedingly pomp-
Gus, with conceit and cheek enough to make
member of the ring. The old Squire was
making hard fight, with his shrewdness
pitted against the greenbacks of his opulent
antagonist. He had succeeded in unmask-
ing some things that were rather damaging
to the plaintiffs interests; and to divert
attention from the points in question, Dia-
mond-pin began to throw out cursory aliu-
sions in regard to the old 'Squire's personal
appearance.
The old man, like Mcclellan, kept up
mastery inactivity" and let him spin.
Flunkey found his scheme was working
somewhat, and resolved at one fell swoop
to lay his antagonist hors di combat. Fling
ing his well-dressed body into majestic poise,
he abruptly inquired:
I" Mr.. B, how often do you change
your shrt?"
The Court was in litter
About once in fortnight" rejoined
b.
A loud laugh followed, and then the
Court seemed to be waiting for a fresh sally
when the old Squire asked his majesty how
often he changed his?
Initiating the drawl of his antagonist,
Diamond-pin condescended to inform him
that he usually put on clean shirt as often
as once in twenty. four hours, The Court
was silent.
With look of astonishment on his face,
the old Squire came to his feet, and depre-
catingly pointed his attenuated finger at his
conceited antagonist, said
Why, you dirty cuss you dirty fourteen
shirts to my ore"
The roars of laughter that followed were
irrepressible. Diamond-pin subsidized, and
tho rraoaaIal rTho
triumphant. Now, when Flunkey puts on
airs, it is only necessary to mention the
name of old Squire B, and he imme-
diately relapses into thoughtful silence.
GETTING SMOKE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
AS the train for Lowell started out of the
depot in Boston, recently, well-dressed
man walked through the smoking car, and,
as his hand was at the door, indicating his
purpose to pass into the next car, he sud-
denly stopped, as if uncertain as to his
whereabouts, and exclaimed, in a loud.
clear voice, rs this the smoking-car ?" One
or two persons nodded, and as many more
answered, Yes;" but the answers were
not understood in the noise and obscurity,
so he asked again, "Is this the smoking
carr" This time the answers were salts
factory. The man wheeled around, and in
the same clear voice inquired, Has any
body got pipe?" The inquiry made a
second time brought the pipe. But this
was not enough. and he now inquired,
" Has any gentleman some tobacco? 3"
Smokers are generally generous, and he
did not have long to wait; gentleman
who was quietly enjoying his meerschaum
extended to the fellow generous "hand"
of the desired article, while there was a
visible smile on the faces of all around
at the extensive exhibition of "cheek"
But this was not all. The fellow had no
knife SO, standing with his borrowed pipe
in one hand and his begged tobacco in
the other, he again coolly called out, ANY
one lend me knife ?" His inquiry was
not in vain; knife was extended, and
with this borrowed stock he at last load
ed his pipe for q cheap smoke, which we
hope he enjoyed to his entire satisfaction.
We did not see him borrow a match to
light his pipe, but have no doubt he did
so. If that chap does not succeed in this
world, it will hardly be because he is too
modest and diffident.-Vor Popul.
ANEcDorE OF GEN. GRANT. "A CORE
spondent the Louisville Commercial says:
"A volunteer soldier of the late war,
with whom I am acquainted, man of truth
and honor, who was with General Grant at
Yicksburg, and other important places, tells
the following: A fop of a Lieutenant, with
$500 suit on his back, kicked a soldier,
who, among others, was unloading a boat,
but, as the Lieutenant thought, was rather
slow. A common looking man, without
shoulder straps, walked up to him and in
quired of him the company and regiment to
which he belonged. He named them Said
the man without shoulder straps, Go and
report yourself to your superior officer, dis
missed by order Of General Grant The
Lieutenant departed crest-fallen, and the
General rolled up his sleeves and assisted
the boys to unload the boat"
How He WAS SMENCED-At a recent
meeting in which there was much religious
interest, an old man gave expression to his
JOY by shouting, and continued it until it
began to interrupt the services. Brother Fl.
said to Brother W., go stop that old
mans noise." He went to him and spoke
few words, and the shouting man at once
became quiet. Brother H. asked Brother
W., What did you say to the old man that
xuieted him so promptly" Brother W.
replied, / asked him for a dollar for for
eign missions!"
The library of Mr.. Edwin Forrest was a