The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-01-24
HyberbOIe of Different Nations.

| The Spaniards and the Gascons have
been the greatest practicers of the art
| of hyberbole. In the seventeenth CEN
| tury a little book was published with
| the title "Al-man-sir, or RhodomOn-
tades of the Most Horrible, Terrible.
and Invincible Captain Sir Frederick
Fight-all." This contains many of the
gasconades quoted in more modern Jest
| books. Here is one of these that has
undergone various alterations: eff I
come to thee with my foot I will kick
thee so high into the air that hadst thou
ten cart-lOads of bread thou shouIdst be
IN greaterfear of starving than of falling. y
| Another is an elaborate description of
the voyager's furniture: "My bed
stead is made of the ribs of giants, the
ticking of my bed is filed with the
mustaches of the masters of the camp
| to the Grand Turk, and SO on. The
more modern versions of these stories
| gain much in form, as in the following
| instances: A Gascon while skating.
waspushed down byan acquaintance; he
| got mp, and said, in a rage, cit is very
lucky for you, sir, that L don't dislike
falling. An officer hearing some one
celebrating the exploits of prince who,
IN the assaults upon town, had killed
SIX men with his own hand, cried out,
" Bah, would have you to know that
the very mattresses / sleep ON are stuff
ed with nothing but the whiskers of
| those whom 1 have sent to slumber in
another world" Another Gascon in
proof of his nobility, asserted that Gin
his fathers castle they used no other
fire-wood than the batoms of the differ
ent marshals of France of his own fami-
ly." A soldier said So he had been in so
many battles, and had been so battered
with bullets, that he swore he had a
mine of lead in his inside"
The Greeks were great inventors of
/ these sayings. On Dieneces, the Spar
tan, being told the number of Xerxes'
army was SO great that when they shot
forth their arrows the sun would be
darkened by their multitude, he an
swered, eff the Medes darken the sun,
we shall have our fight in the shade. y
The American humor partakes slightly
of this same character and extravaganza,
but it is, nevertheless, the growth of the
soil. The vastness of the country,
which is said to be bounded on the east
by the Atlantic ocean, on the north by
the aurora borealis, on the west by the
setting sun, and ON the south by the
day of Judgment, and the peculiar cir
cumstances in which the people are
placed, can be traced in most of these
stories. The hyperbolical or tall species
of American humor was very much in
vogue some years ago, and such stories
as the following were once common:
"A man was so tall that he had to go
up ladder to shave himself" "anoth-
was so strong that his sneeze would kill
buffalo across the Mississippi river"
A Massachusetts, pig was so lean that it
is necessary to tie knot in its tail to pre-
vent 1T getting through the chincks of
the pailing." can American artist
painted snow storm so natural that he
caught a bad cold by sitting near it
with his coat off" "Some land was so
rich that squash vine, in its rapid
growth, overlook a drove of pigs"
"The reason why cream is dear, is that
milk has risen so high that cream can't
reach the top" There is capital story
in which it is related that "a coach
drove through the country so fast, and
the miel-stones passed so quickly by,
that the passengers thought they were
in church yard" This coach, how
ever, was beaten by the "skipper, ailing
went so tarnation fast, that in swhich
round Long Island she left her shadow
three and a half miles behind her"
Major N, when asked whether he
was seriously injured by the explosion
of the boiler of the St Leonard steam
er, replied that he was so used to be
blown up by his wife, that mere
steamer had no effect upon him" The
evidence of a witness in life-insurance
case involved in the blowing-up of a
steamboat on the Ohio, is droll, Just be-
cause it is characteristic. The witness
knew the missing man, and saw him on
the deck of the steamer before the ex-
plosiOn. When asked by the lawyer,
"What was the last time you saw him?''
he answered, "The very last time I ever
set eyes on him was when the biler
burst, and | was going up, 1 met him
and the smoke-plpe coming down" 1t
is not fair that the foreigners should
have all the lies to themselves; so we
viii let the Englishman put in an ap-
pearGnce. A commercial traveller.
bOasting that his firm spent G3OO a year
for writing-ink alone, was answered,
During the last twelve months we
have saved in that article alone e., 900
by merely emitting the dots to our is,
and the crosses to our t's." One of the
best specimens of rhOdOmontade is the
following story, which we have not seen
in print: Two men, who were famous
for their vaporing, laid a wager as to
which could tell the biggest lie. One
said that he was in " the mid ocean, far
away from the land, when he espied
man swimming. The ship was stopped.
and preparations were made for taking
the man in, when he cried out " I am
all right, and only want to know the
latitude and longitude, for am swim
ming to England" This seemed suffi-
cientlyimprobable, but the other capped
it by asking "whether his friend had
seen the man again?" and being answer
ed in the negative, said "Then I am
he. british Quarterly.