The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1873-01-18
2Wiscellaneolls.
The objectionable Ofense
BY MRS. JULIA A. CARNEY

| BY MRS. JULIA A. CARNEY
Once upon time is the way all the fairy siorie
commenced in "aud lang syne." Now this is
true story-a Cery true story, indeed-but 1t is al
about very precise man and very precise VIC
man, SO wish to begin in u very precise manner
Not that this man and woman were husban
ana wife. Heaven forbade such ID chance, in pit
to the rising generation. Neither were they rel
atives, or even friends think, on the contrary
| there was always secret antipathy betweel
them, or, as cautious people sometimes say, "ther
| was no love lost"
Mr. Caleb Strong-it would never do TO omi
the title-always looked as il be had passed from
his bathroom TO the most elaborate hair-dresser
and then to the most fashionable tailor, not for
| getting the latest style OF hat and boot, by th
way. All this accomplished without lrayersinl
muddy streets add thereuoto a stereotyed smi
and carefully deliberate enunciatioD, and yoI
have iolerably accurate likeness Of Mr.. Calei
| Strong.
Mrs. Prudy Primitive was also a mOdsl OF pre-
/ eisiOn, in her way but her way was very differ
ent from the way OF Mr.. Caleb Strong. Where
as, he prided himself upon his most immaculat Il
attire, she equally delighted herself with i'm
maculate housekeeping.
Iier abode always looked as il she had JUS
finished spring cleaning, With an old maid sisiel
70 help, and no children to disarrange. Having
been married, AT the mature age OF thirty-hve, tC
a man who always remembered the scraper and
dooF-mat, and never havIag received the, to her,
somew bat doubtful blessing Of little child, lhii
was, Of course, comparatively easy. Her mos
noticeable fault was fOrgetfulness OF that invara
tle copy in our school wriling-books, "Circum-
stances alter cases"
said before that there seemed TO he secreI
antipathy between Mr. Caleb Strong and Mrs.
Prndy Primitive. II so, il was carefully conceal
ed or, rather, overlaid with an elaborate coating
Of civility.
Common cvilily Is an excellent thing, even il
it do not rise to the height Of that true courtesy
which is but another name for kindness, foi bear
anee, and multitude Of other Christian grac's.
For il oils many a creaking hinge, softens many
a stumbling-stOne from the path Of our common
life. Many persons of a really kind disposition
inflict much OF needless pain through want OF
attention TO its dictates. Some even pride them
selves upon this inattenion, and think themselves
uncommonly sincere, when they are only uncom-
monty rude.
One of the latter class was Mrs. Prudy Primi-
tive. SO that the ciyility which brdged the chasm
petWSen nef arG Mr. Cal1O GottUus as - &c :
property of the latter, and maintained only by
bis vigilant care. Why he should have cared to
preserve the frail structure was mystery TO all
but the favored few. Those who saw bow often
bis arstocratic boots betook themselves across
that bridge TO the favorite place in her sitting
room, where he sat and solemnly exchanged plati-
tudes with Mrs. Primitive, while pretty Miss
Priscilla, the orphan niece, fitted in and out in
sweet Inconsistencies OF bis admlrlDg glance,
alone could solve the riddle.
Miss Priscilla was ''mere child, in the eyes
of Mrs. Primitive, just twenty years old, too
young to commit matrinony, for she had herself
waited until thirty five, wisely, she thought, Civ
ing half lifetime to each state, and thus giving
to each fair trial.
Besides, il did not comport with the fine sense
of fitness innate in every good house-keeper to
wed May with November, and, despite his trim
wig and carefully preserved appearance, Mr..
Caleb Strong would never see three times fifteen
again She loved the little maiden as well as
she could love another's child, and intended al
ways to care for her as for a daughter, SO she
very coldly received Mr.. Strong's frequent visits
1t seemed impossible, however, to offend him
by anything short of downright rudeness, until
at last an event occurred which dashed the bridge
of civility at once to the bottom OF the gull and
left it yawning too widely for the polished boots
to cross.
Passing down Main Street one lawfully" hot
August day, Mrs. Primitive espied the precise
bachelor just emerging from the door OF his hotel
for lettering walk. From the top of the afore'
said hat 10 the tips of the aforesaid boots be was
gotten up with care and nicely. His laundresS
must have been model among laundresses, and
his tailor miracle of his kind.
Our heroine wished to avoid him by studying
shop window most intently, but it was use
less endeavor Extending his hand, or, rather,
the tips Of his lady-lke fingers, he greeted heI
with his usual elaborate cordiality, and informed
her of what she had discovered hours before, thai
it was ian exceedingly warm day"
| Upon how many more interesting remarks his
genius might have ventured it is impossible tc
say, for Mrs. Primitive had now made another
discovery one which filled her soul with horror
! Ii was splendid specimen OF the creature
known to chronological science as Cime1 lectu
larius, and defined by Webster as IA trouble
some insect of an offensive SMELL which infect'
the crevices Of bedseads, etc., Forth from the
pocket of the faultlessly white vest it emerged
and traversed slowly toward the shining folds o.
finest linen. What a sight for house-keeper'
eye What set-control must she not have pos
sessed to suppress slight scream and an "oh
Mr.. Strong ~
Mrs. Primitive either did not possess that self
control, or she was not in mood to exercise it
She did not suppress the scream nor the exclama
! ton.
Mr.. Strong looked in the direction Of her eyt
and finger. He dashed the insect upon the side
walk. He crushed with tread that would have
crushed Mrs. Primitive had she been in the in
sects place He looked at her with gaze tha
should have annihilated her, but she still lives
He turned and walked hurriedly away, withou
the utterance of syllable That look was
enough.
Many years have passed since then, but neither
in his favorite resort, her own sitiing-room, mol
upon the crowded thoroughfare of the city, mol
in his usual summer resorts, has Mr.. Caleb Strong
been seen by Mrs. Prudy Primitive.
The 'mere child" Priscilla, has become
young woman, and sometimes jestingly cautions
her aunt not to frighten away any more Of bel
beaux, as she did the first oue lest she have bel
left ''an old maid" in the family.
Her aunt does not appear 10 be fearful OF such
a result for she only smiles at the allusion.- -
When, however, Priscilla defends herself from re-
proof for screaming at the sight of mouse by
saying, "Well, aunt, you once screamed at The
sight of a much smaller animal, she replies,
with housekeeper's horror "Only to think, il
had not met him, be would have brought that
bedbug right into my sittng-room; and you
know be always sat down here on this Sofa
Who knows what trouble that one bug might
have made" Then Priscilla laughs, and echoes
-"Who knowsF