Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1873-09-06
Va RTETIES.

HOTEL keepers arc people we have to
put up with.
a COMPANION game to parlor croquet
Cricket on the hearth.
EVERY dog has his day; now's the
time-these are dog days.
NONSENSE has been described as sense
that differs from ones own.
Why didn't dog want place in the
ark Because he had bark of his
own.
Ir is with our judgments as with our
watches, none go just alike, yet each be-
lieves his own.
A BORE is II man who spends so much
time talking about himself that you
can't talk about yourself.
Mrs. PARrINGToN thinks that tho
grocers ought to hire music teacher to
teach them the scales correctly.
81 COME to STEAL" as the rat observed
to the trap. "And spring to embrace
you," as the trap replied to the rat.
Ir is proposed to call IL little island,
near the Isle of Man, the Isle of Wo-
man. SO the good cause progresses.
A MAN with but one idea in his head
is sure to exaggerate that to top-heavi-
ness, and thus he loses his cquilibrinm.
A CINCINNATI man who is going to
get married next month sits around the
boiler shops to get his ear trained to it.
A LADY who had exhausted the vocab-
ulary of names for her numerous daugh-
tcrs, named the last one "Ann-so-
FORTH.
MONEY is only thus far standard of
value. That which it can measure is
perishable that which it cannot is i'm
mortal.
Punch says young mans friends OBJ
jcct to his being loose, but, somehow,
they have an equal objection to his be-
ing tight.
WHAT is the difference between an
engine driver and IL passenger who has
lost the train? One is right i'll front,
and the other is left behind.
THERE are two reasons why people at
Watering places never mind their own
business. One is that they have no
business, the other that they have no
mind.
One paper having said that "unrc-
Quilted love was the toothache of the
SOUL" another editor suggests that the
only way to stop it is use some gold
filling,
A YOUNG money-broker having mar
ried fat old widow, with one hundred
thousand dollars, said sit was not his
wife's face that attracted him so much
us the figure.
Ir is n remarkable fact the moment n
woman writes II letter she is frantic to
put it in the postoflice, although she
may have been putting of the writing
for six months.
A CINCINNATI young man who had
read in his city papers that Cleveland
girls always replied "You bet" when
rendered an offer of marriage, tried the
experiment with one of them, and the
only reply he got was, "You get!'
Nor long since young Kentuckian
paid his individual attention to one OF
the fair sex, and concluded to pop the
question. After much stammering and
hesitation the young lady exclaimed,
81 am partially engaged, but my mother
wants to marry"
ONE of the notorious divorce lawyers
of New York, in his advertisement in
the city papers, says "Hymeneal in
compatibilities as a specially delicately
adjusted. IT'S slavery to retain the
hand after the eradiac entrail has de-
parted. "
A SUNDAY-sCHooL teacher was eX-
planning the omnipresence of the Deity
to his scholars, and ended by telling
them that "He was everywhere. p"
Whereupon red-headed boy asked, "ls
He in my pockct?" The teacher re-
piled that the question was rather pro-
fame, but he would answer yes ." He
was everywhere" "I've got you there, ,"
said the boy, 81 amt got no pocket"
Ex-Gov. MCCLURE is head man of a
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