The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-04-10
GENERAL ITEMS.

MAN respires, aspires, expires.
ODD.FEhlows' haul--A rich wife.
PAPER flour barrels are proposed.
10 understand truth, one must livcit.
lie who talks, sows; he who listens,
reaps.
To lovei the only thing that can fill up
eternity.
AN awful swell-The cheek after a
toothache.
The popular business with young ladies
-Husbandry.
In China wives are considered legal
tender for debts.
GREAT SMOKERS - The Boston ruins;
they are still at it.
NATURE feels no loss, because God is al.
ways present to her.
Or the hundred good things in this life,
ninety-nine are health.
He who cheerfully commits the uni
verse to God has nothing in the universe
to fear.
WHATEVER God gives men as stepping
stones, they often make into stumbling
blocks.
MELANCHOLY suicide-A little boy, on
being threatened with whipping, hung
his head.
'"PAws for a reply" as the cat said
when she scratched the dog for barking
at her.
Two San Francisco school-mistresses
have been suspended for using bad Ian
guage.
The female servants of Ottawa, Ont,
are forming union to regulate the prices
ofdomestic labor.
To love and to labor is the sum of liv-
ing. And yet how many think they live
who neither labor nor Lowell
PERHAPS one reason that laymen so sell
dom succeed in the pulpit is that their
preaching is so apt to be pew-erile.
AFFIRMATIVE egation-Giles: 'Did e. er
a man ever zee stitch wet weather in all his
born days afore." Hodge: 'Noahl"
TAXATION is said to bear equally on all
classes, from the fact that it hardly press
cs on the rich, and presses hardly on the
poor.
A Down EAST pundit wants to know
what battle in the Crilmea should remind
one OF fight with the Modoc Indians :?
Balak-lava!
CHICAGO servant girl recently took
dose of morphine to make her cheeks
look pale. 1t was one Of the greatest sue
cesses on record.
A CONNECTICUT editor has been elected
fence viewer, and now calls upon all per-
sons having fences to be viewed to bring
them TO his office.
The Boston Transcript declares that the
minds of the ladies there are in great agi-
tation concerning the ''fixins" on their
new Easter bonncts.
In an audience of rough people gener-
Gus sentiment always brings down the
house. In the tumult of war both sides
applaud an heroic deed.
shard-cdged grief cuts here and there,
when 10! the scmbance of His form ap-
pears sculptured by the woes of time.
The patent self-inserting button. it is
feared, will make sad work in the mar
rage market. What will men with pat
cnt selt-inserting buttons want of wives ?
THERE is a young man in Connecticut
who is out of employment and wants 10
serve as a substitute for some old pension
er OF 1872. AS he is only about twenty
three years old, appearances ale against
him.
THERE are but three ways of living, as
some one has said, by working, by beg
ging or by stealing. Those who do not
work, disguise it in whatever pretty Ian
guage we please, are doing one of the
other two.
A DYEING establishment in Nashville
has mixture which is called ''the purple
dye." 1t is strange coincidence that a
man who had very sick dog the other
day expressed his apprehensions in pre-
clsely the same language.
CONFUCIUs said To dwell with good
man is like entering house wherein are
the fragrant ''lan'' flowers; after while
you may not seem to smell the fragrance,
because your whole PERSON has become
impregnated with the fragrance.
WISDOM is like electricity. There is no
permanently wise man, but men capable OF
wisdom, who, being put into certain COM
pany, or other favorable conditions, be-
come wise for time, as glasses rubbed
acquire electric power for while.
DURING the past year the National Life
Boat Institution saved on the coasts of the
british isles total of 54S human lives and
% ships. Since its foundation, the Life-Boat
Institution has contributed to the saving
of 2l,46f lives. 1t has fleet of 233 life
boats, manned by 1000 men.
The editors of the Louisville Courier
Journal and Chicago Post are engaged in
an enterprise that bushes, for the time
sy, and holds the mind in the firm grip of
an unrelenting dubiety. They are trying
to locate each others brains.
"a Soohi III DdllllnOTc is aSkeQ TO de-
eide that man who was frozen TO death
last year, in ascending Mont Blanc, lost
his life in an ''exploring expedition" !"
This reminds us of citizen of New York
who tried to secure the prestige of for
eign travel by visiting Jersey City.
The greatest thing human soul ever
does in this world is to see something,
and tell what it saw in plain way. Hun
dreds ofpeople can talk for one who can
think, but thousands can think for one
who can see. TO see clearlyis poetry.
prophecy and religion-all in one.
Antarctic Regions.