The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-09-18

- - WOMAN AT SEA. =, 81
Two Types Of Feminine Character.
The workings of the female mind at
sea are entertaining. 1t is the thing
to have all exclusive gentility give
way in the presence of the great deep
A number collected on deck, gazing
at the dashing waves, treats one to all
the adjectives known to our language,
ofrBhieh lgspIendid, /" "diVine - ssbeau-
fiful" and "sweet" ring in and out, in
ferspersed with little shrieks and ex-
clamation points, all having as much
real meaning as the little tinking
cYmbals spoken of. We never heard
the said tinkling cymbals, but are of
the impression that they must be very
frivolous. We are panied TO write it,
but after some years of observation,
we are driven to the conclusion that
the average female mind is not opeR
to &1e pletnFesque effects I'm scenery
The average female mind has an utter
contempt for this country and all per-
tanning thereto while their wrath
and disgust for the ocean are only
equaled by the average male mind
The first named, has the adYan-
tage In the stunning eOstumes'g0tteR.
up for the sea. Each female Sflas, n
adaftt0n to the sea dress, sixteen arti-
cles some poor masculine has packed
around and as the fair owner never
rests ten minutes in one place, the la
Dor is immense.
We have an elegant lady of ceF-
tain age, known as Mrs. Morus Nor
ticalus, who affects masculine turn
for machinery, She attacks the poor
captain or mate in the most unex-i
pected manner as to principles nme-
chanics. For example: sf gneeis.
Captain, excuse me, but i am so
desirous to learn something substan-
tial as l travel will yOu please ex-.
plain 20 me upon what principle the
propeller runs ~ s.lIf !, ol.5 isstf
- must turn that over to Mr..
Jones,0 responds the bluff captain.
"Ahl Now, Mr. Jones, what is the
principle21 ~ ' -. q, 'T,.. H. 8 8
ats Screw, madam. Pa Hega
80 How interesting please explain
g Simplest thing in the world, Mrs.
Morticulus. A number of nautical
gentlemen were dining together at
DelmOnico's one evening. During the
wine and cigar interval the talk run
ON the trouble of sidewheels.e One of
these gentlemen, q man with no ge-
MUS for mechanics whatever, was idly
balancing a corkscrew on his finger.
An idea struck him. He left the ia
bic, carrying off the colkscrew, which
was inserted in the bill. A week af-
ter the gentleman of the idea and
corkscrew appeared in Cranberry
Marsh, New Jersey, and consulted
Mr.. Robson, an obscure lawyer of
great promise but no practice. He
showed Mr.. Robson a model steamer
with the corkscrew screwed in the
stern. Mr.. Robson looked at it a
moment and said, Reverse your
screw The screw was reversed, and
a great step made in mechanics, and
the poor young lawyer rose to emil
nenceD ag
6 How curiousl Do, Mr.. Jones, let
me write that down. and Mrs. Mo-
rus Morticulus wrote fourteen pages
on the screw afSs
We had been running through
q thousand miles, more or less, of fog, |
and the steam whistle uttered its fear
ful scream every fifteen minutes
This startled Mrs. Bangs She said
to her maid Kitty: al4..sla
g What q dreadful noise Kitty, ask
the captain if he cannot stop that. 1T |
rs having q very depres sing effect up
the passengefs.D 1.l, - ii43 sssf.sssR
20 LORI Mrs. Bangs, they're whist
ling icebergs off the track" - -
Gsass Good heavens, Kitty are we
among icsbergs % 1-see ~
"Of course we. are. The chamber
mafds who is married woman ,sand
has husband and eleven children in
Glasgow, says as how they counted
hundred nine feet high, or nine hum
dred feet high, I forgot which, for I
amt got no head for figgers, as they
went to New York"
"The' 'ieebergs, Kitty?"
Lor, no, Mrs. Bangs, the ship; and
the chambermaid said that if it was
not for the fog, we'd see the most
beautiful sight ever seen in the sea-"
2Iee1eFgst The pght was 50 texts
Bile that Mrs. Bangs went incontinentS
ly to bed. sThat night she awakened
her maid in great terror.
Kitty, get upl Get up, quick and
get out eur life-preserYers; we're on
4 az !. iceberg ; 4 hear the ship grating on
the bottom" 81 49, 'i5 ssgr-f - ,
. Kitty stack her head out, listened e
and then said sententiously
Why Mrs. Bangs, them's ropes.2 ,
Mrs. B. subsided. She, Remembered I
Did Bumblebee, who on a like occa- J
sion, when sails were being shifted in
! storm, stuck his nightcapped head ,
rom its berth and roared out: go
Seph, go and tell that captain. to stop !
lls drunken crew from running up /
Ind down the deck; they shake the :
boat so it makes me sick. Do you
leaE Stop it.D-Doa Piatt az WGsh+ g
aagtosa Capital. i
Z q