Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-05-13
BrevifieS.

Lord Berkeley, wishing to apprise the Duke
Of Dorset of his changed condition, wrote:
Dear D ,rsct,-I have just been married, and
An, the happicst dog alive, c,-Bcrkeley. !" His
interesting news being acknowledged with
Dear Berkeley, Every dog has his day
Doyset." Mr. Kendall, some time Uncle Sans
Posrmaster-G Gcucra, wanting some information
as to the source of a river, sent the following
note to village postmaster: Sir, This de-
parment is dcsrous to know how far the Tom
bigbee river runs up.--Respcctfully, years,
&c. By return mail came "Slr,-The
Iom5igbee does not run up at all it runs
down.-Very respectfully. yours &c. Ken
da not approaching his subordinatc's humor
postmaster is revoked you will turn over the
lunds, ETC., pertaining to your office to your
successor. " Not at all disturbed by this sum
mary dismissal, the postmaster replied !; "Sir,
The revenues of this office for the quarter
ending September 3Oth have been ninety
ccuts It's expenditure, same period, for tai
low candles and twinc, Sl.05. [ trust my sue
ccssor is Instructed to adjust the balance. His
superior officer was probably as muchdisgusted
with his precise correspondent as the American
editor who, writing to Connecticut brother,
Send full particulars of the food meaning
an inundatinn at that place-receivcd tor reply,
You will find them in Genesis . A good
SPECIMEN Of Yankee brevity is the order re-
ccivcd by colnuissarlat named Brown from
C,I Boyd which could scarcely have been
e,,uchcd in fewer words than Brown-beef-
Bnyd, y The Colonel receiving his supplies with
= norc running, Boyd-beef-Brown.
Talicyrand acknowledged pathetic letter
from lady friend announcing her wldowhood,
with note OF two words: "Hclas Madame "
And when The easily-consoled dame wrote
not very long afterwards soliciting his
influence on behalf of an officer she was
about to marry, he merely replied I" "Ho
no! MalameW More satisfactory to the re-
cipient was Lord Ellon's note to his friend DR..
F:lier, Of the Charter-house: Dear Fisher,
Il cannot to-day give you the preterment for
which you ask. Your sincere friend, Eldon
ITmu over) gave it you yesterday" Pleas
ant TO all parties concerned was the cOrrcspon-
dcncc between the Archbishop of York and
the Bishop Of Cork: Dear Cork, k,-Please or
daD S,anLope York" Dear York Stan
hope is ordained. Cork. y
When member of Lord North's admins
tration, Fox one night took the liberty of walk
ing into one lobby while his chief went into the
other As he sat on the ministerial bench the
next evening one of the doorkeepers handed
him note Upon opening it the rebelous
po!ilican read ''Sir,-His Majesty has thought
proper to order new commission Of the treas
ury, in Which | do not fud the name Of
Charles James Fox North Not more
agreeable to the recipient was Henry Drum
ulond's answer to letter asking him to join
the advocates of the Maine liquor law. ''Sir,
i think the Maine liquor law perfectly de-
testalle, and will do my best to prevent its be-
ing adopted here Yours, Fl. Drummond.'
As as rule, man with grievance is too
proud of his wrongs to be laconic but here is
an exception to the rule: Sir was a lieu
tenant with General Stanhope when he took
Minorca in 17OS, for which he was made alord
was lieutenant with General Blakeney when
he lost Minorca in 1856, for which he was
made lord. am lieutenant still. Surely
such an appeal ought to have proved resistless,
almost as resistless as that of the dying dra-
matist: Dear Bob,-I have not anything to
leave thee to perpetuate my memory but two
helpless girls. Look upon them sometimes,
and think of him that was to the last moments
OF his life thine. Q. Farquhar. "..Chans1ers'
.I,uruuI