Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1873-11-21
SCIss0RINGS.

ldU Id0y.
Bellies Of the Kitchen Wringing.
machines.
Spots on the sun Freckles on your
boys face.
"A woman who tells fortunes from y
fea cup is q sauceress.
Civivilized cannibalism 60 Eating
your daily bread with q little Indian
in it.
People who are always wanting to
get something new should try neural
gia.
I The dressing gown is the most last
ing of all garments is seldom worn
out.
It is surprising how quickly men
dislike red hair will fall in love with a
red heiress.
What was the proverb King Lear
heard from his daughtersf Go, father,
and fare worse.
Odd, rather, that horses should run
away and smash the vehicles to which
they are so much attached.
"A Scranton household is enjoying
an era of peace. The lady Of the house
put her tongue TO . fat iron to see if
twas hot.
The old gentleman who puts his
postal card in q stamped envelope is
matched by an Omaha man who for
wards money orders by registered let
tiers.
3 Our "deviln has discovered more
planets. The other night, in his en-
deavor to find the latitude of the "dip-
per- he struck his head against a half
open door. And, oh! didn't he see
stars.
In a recent article on fair in his
locality, the editor of a Western paper
says brother editor took valuable
premium, and that an unkind police
man made him put it right back where
he took it from.
Boston ladies put on clean stockings
when they have their photographs ta-
ken. A philosopher is trying to study
out the reason. But the most interes-
ting point Of inquiry is, how did the
reporter learn the factl
A Portland man, caught fishing for
trout on another mans laud, the other
day, completely silenced the owner,
who demonstrated, with the majestic
answer, "Who wants to catch your
troutf | am only trying to drown this
worm.D
A farmer lost gi,nlet in the woods
near Monticello, Mimi, three years
ago, and the other day cut down an
iron wood tree, in which he found-not
his gimlet, but three quarter auger!
He is sorry he didn't wait a year long
er, as a two inch anger was what ha
wanted.
A man, stopping his paper, recently
wrote to the editor: II think folks
ottent to spend thur mummy for pay
pers, my dad diddent and everybody
sed he was the inteligentes man in the
country and had the smartest family
of boze that ever dugged taturs.n
A little girl who had great kindness
of heart for the animal creation, saw
hen preparing to gather her chickens
under her sheltering wings, and cried
earnestly: ooh, don't sit down on
those beautiful birds, you great, ugly,
old roosterw
Josh Billings was asked, g how fast
does sound travel" His idea is that
it depends a good deal upon the kind
Of noise you are talking about. The
sound OF a dinner horn, for instance,
travels half mile second, while an
invitashun tew git up in the morning.
I have known to be 3-quarters NV an
hour going up two pair Nv stairs, and
then not hav strength enuf left to be
heard.
An Irishman who had been employ
ed at Arlington cemetery some time,
went to Washington to draw liis pay.
After receiving the amount, the pay
master, discovering sabre cut on his
face, remarked: ssYou were in the ar
my during the warp Yes, sir,v said
he. aWhat command were you in p
I'm General Fitz Hugh Lees Did
you have the audacity to apply to a
Federal cemetery for work when you
we're in the rebel army9o lsYes,n said
The Irishman. 81 helped to kill them,
70 I thought had a right to help to
bury them.
The man who answered the following
advertisement says his curiosity is sat
SIZED now:
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