Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1873-03-22
Editorial Breyitiee.

josh DllIlnSS says ii Nil h"'e
mackeral for breakfast, kin generally
make the other two meals out of water.
Fifty dollars fine is the penalty for
using a postage stamp second time
Whenever a man starts down hill ev
cry fellow comes promptly to the front
and gives him a kick.
A down east girl being bantered once
by some of her female friends in regard
to her lover, who had the misfortune to
have but one leg, replied "Pooh
wouldn't have man with two legs,
they're too common.
The boys arc signing for white allies.
SO they are for Easter Eggs.
Women over the age of twenty-one
shall be eligible to any Office of control
or management under the school laws
of the State. These words are to be
put into the new constitution OF Penn
sylvania But what woman will admit
she is twentyone years of age.
A few years ago there was living in
Hagerstown, Md, an old German, who
was opposed to long courtshlps, and
thus interviewed his daughters lover ::
II wish to know your contentious, Will,
for you have come here three wceksand
my daughter is i'll expense; besides You
you keep better beaus away.
'Daughtercultura show" is the latest
name for an evening party The girls
sdon't like it.
If you court a young woman and she
is woE and you are won, then you are
both one.
A housekeeper says there isno venison
in the market, but plenty of dear meat.
Mr.. Mcmillan, of Doddridge county,
having introduced bill "to prevent the
spread of buck plantain, broom sage and
other obnoxious weeds, the West Va.
Star wants him to introduce another
bill providing for the determination of
Aeas and bed bugs.
In Rockville, Montgomery county,
Md, the other day a Presbyterian church
burned down.
Cumberland coal is selling at sl5 per
ton in New York.
Mr.. Geo. w. Grove has purchased
the residence of Daniel White, on the
corner of Franklin and Locust streets,
Hagerstown, for $5,7O0.
A man jumped on a can of nitro-gly-
cerine, at Altoona, the other day, to see
how the 'old thing worked" and the
last seen of him, his legs were riding
cloud.
Those who advertise on fences, and
write their sale bills, should not forget
to mix little spelling book with their
paint and ink
1--WE will meet in heaven, husband,
dear" is the affectionate inscription an
Arkansas woman has had carved on the
tombstone of every one of her five de
parted husbands.
John W. Young. Brigham's most
enterprising son, has taken his pick out
of his three wives, divorced himself
from two, settled annuities upon them,
and is soon going to Philadelphia with
his last wife, a most accomplished lady,
to live there and attend to his fathers
railroad business, in happiness with the
young lady who was born there, and
who is now his whole wife.
A bashful youth was lamenting to his
paternal progenitor the ordeal of pop
ping the question. "Pooh y said the
patriarch, how do you suppose l man.
aged 2" "You'd better talk, responded
the hopeful, 'you married mother, and
I've got to marry IA strange gal J!
When man wants money or assist
ance, the world, as rule, is very oblig-
ing aud indulgent, and-lets him want
it. True as preaching.
If girls would have roses for their
cheeks, they must do as roses io-go to
sleep with the lilies, and get up with
the morning-glories.
The forty-second Congress expired at
12 o'clock on the 4th of March last
Butler County, in Kansas, has pop
ulation of $4,000 souls and not achurch.
There's field for the missionary man
to grazs in. ai
The new penny postal csrds will be
ready by the first of NAV.