The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-05-01
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.


hoed.
COLUMBUS County, Ca, is hunting an
escaped tiger.
FLORIDA grows five hundred bushels of
sweet potatoes to the acre.
AN indianapolis hen thinks two eggs
day something to crow about.
WHY is a newspaper like wife? Be-
cause every man ought to have one of his
own.
A YOUNG woman's COMMUNICATIVE
is our favorite Roman hero ?-Anspes !:
Marius.
A PHYSICIAN says mosquitoes have in
their veins some of the best blood in the
country.
MEXICO is said to be like the earth, be-
cause it has revolution every twenty
four hours.
YOU'RE a fool if you're a walker in a
pond, you're philosopher if you ponder
in your walk.
| ADEsPoTIC Delaware Judge fined law
yer one dollar for merely calling him ga
bloated old rhinoceros."
A DANBURY man was much relieved to
| find that the terra Credit Mobilier was not
name for hog cholera.
PROF. NUDGE says that, as Kansas be-
comes more thckly settled, many fossil
lied elephants will be dug up.
A New HAMPSHIRE woman who re-
mained a spinster until she was sixty, has
just buried her fourth husband.
A GRAVE charge has been made against
a young lady of Augusta, Ga. She is ac-
cused of stealing flowers from ceme-
! terry.
HE extensive condensed milk factories
in Switzerland use 10000 quarts of milk
daily, and four-tifths of tie product is ex-
ported to England.
A HOUSE is never perfectly furnished
| for enjoyment unless there is a child in it
rising three years old, and kitten rising
six ks.-Southey.
NEW England farmers believe that the
immense abundance of maple sugar this
season will compensate for the severe
Winter they have suffered.
BY carefully computed estimates it is
ascertained that England is now as fully
supplied with breadstutfs as she ever was
at this season of the year.
A FASHIONABLE New York gentleman
thinks that if ladies would only use their
powder-puffs more sparingly, men would
get through the season with only one
dress-coat.
A FASHIONABLE young lady Of Phila-
delphia dropped one Of her false eyebrows
in church pew, and badly frightened a
young man next to her, who thought it
was his moustache.
AN aged negress in Delawareis said to
have turned white recently.-[ Exchange.
Yes, she married fellow named White,
and then turned him out of doors three
weeks after the event.
A CULTIVATED Snowman propounds the
following conundrum: Q. What trans
formation takes place in an infuriated ele-
phant when he charges upon a crowd of
people? A. He becomes a turner in
ivory.
WEALTH has now all the respect paid
to it which is due only to virtue ant
talent, but we can see what estimate Coo
places upon it, since He often bestows il
nPon the meanest and most unworthy o.
!, DID our readers ever near their young
lady acquaintances ask each other
whats your politics p and then giggle
The question has hidden meaning. FO
, explanation apply to the first lady yol
know who wears large hustle.
No MAN, when he violates the truth
can tell of what sin he is guilty wher
his falsehood will penetrate, and wha
: misery it will create. 1t may culminate
! it may kill, it may embitter, it may impov
erish. What evil it may prove you can
not tell.
In Chicago court of justice they tried
the other day, to decide how much weigh
constituted a load for horse. The ques
ton is Just as easy to decide-and NJ
e easier-as how much a man can lift, o
how much a man can do. 1t depend
+ upon the horse-slightly.
If ever household affections and love
s are graceful things, they are graceful
the poor. The ties that bind the wealth
Al, 70 hn n
earth, but those which link the poe
man to his humble hearth are of tn
G true metal, and bear the stamp of heavel
A New ENGLAND farmer sent to an O.
:. phan asylum for boy that was ''smar
~ active, brave, tractable, prompt, indu
y trious, clean, pious, intelligent, good-lool
ing, reserved, and modest" The supe
+ intendent wrote back that unfortunatel
l. they had only human boys in that instit'
/ ton.
n EVERYBODY eats peanuts, and ever,
lie body knows that some are full and plum
4; while others have little or nothing
"a them; but everybody does not know tn
5, before the retailer gets his peanuts the
<. are separated, the full from the empt
n by means of fan, and sold at differel
z prices.
70 sGENTLEMEN of the jury" said jud,
ne IN summing up, III lliiS SisO SooiiSNi
!, - both sides are impudent and incredibl
IL the witnesses on both sides are indece
; and incredible; and the plaintiff and
~ fendant both stand such acknowledg
10 rogues, that it is to me utterly indiffere
po e which way you give verdict
in The last dog story A New Hampshl
he canine being repeatedly batiled in the
Al tempt to catch woodchuck in 10
adj drain, as it made is exit at the other e
wv wv as the dog followed through, brought
he neighboripg dog and stationed him at
other end of the drain. He then drc
~ the woodchuck through, and he v
caught.
WE have finally, in paper, sonethi
is personal" that is both fresh, authen
and satisfactory. A lady writes to
-bt able editor asking the original of
N phrase, "The army swore terribly
no Flanders" and what occasioned the P
,cSe family? Answer: Mr.. Flanders ws
ice sutler, and his prices and general di'
gard for all the rules of trade so incen
the army that it cursed him with all
strength.
are kissing the Bride.