Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-08-27
PHUNNYGRAMS.

"A young man who enjoys the soubri-
quet OF Frank" in parting with young
lady the other night, endeavored to i'm
press his customary kiss, when she forci-
bly, pushed back his head, and said, sNo,
SIT, you don't-the .trank5aag privilege is
abolished'
1.-Two men disputing about the pronun-
citation Of the word ''either' Zone saving if
was ee-ther, the other s-ther) agreed to refer
the matter to the first person they met.
who happened to be an Irishman, who
confounded both by declaring, "It's nay
ther, for it's ayther"
Mr.. Benjamin, of West street. is the
happy possessor of a buff Cochin rooster
which shelters regularly every night a.
family OF eight chickens, while his better
half retires to the roost. There's "wo
mans rights" in the hen line-Daa6atry
Neaes.
The firm providing the English re-
freshments at Vienna is not English. The
thing is well managed, but it is not so en-
tirely British as it ought to be- For in
stance, the bill of fare of the "dai' in
cludes "Sir Loine'' of beef, "Chees and
Salade," "Sherries Goblers," and pastry
aux fruits"
One OF the late boys, while reading
chapter of Genesis, paused to ask his
mother whether the boys in the olden
time used to do their sums on the ground.
Ii was discovered that he had been read
ing the passage, "And the sons of men
multiplied upon the face of the earth.''
"A noted horse jockey, "Down East,o
was awakened one night by a violent
thunderstorm. Being somewhat timid.
he awoke his wife, with: "Wife! wifei
Do you suppose the Day Of Judgment has
Gomez shut up, you fool" was the af-
fectionate reply. "How can the Day of
Judgment come in the night?"
The Terre Haute girl does not require
that her lover have the wisdom of Solo
mon, the beauty Of Apollo, or the riches
OF Dives. Her wants are few and simple.
She says: Lawrence has a watch and
chain and plug hat; when he can raise
moustache l shall be perfectly happy"
If there is room for one more in that
balloon of the GraQozac's, there is young
man In Danbury who can fill it. He lives
opposite US and plays an ACCORDION. He
might object to running the risk, but he
could be stunned by blow on the head
and got into the balloon before he recov-
ered.-Donbssry Neaos.
I'VE saw a man who was crossing
White street, yesterday, pick up a lump
of coal and put it in his pocket sThere,''
said we to ourself, " is truly economical
man. He is not afraid to save He real
ICES that a penny saved is penny earned.
and he will profit by it." Then he stepped
into saloon to get a drink, and we moved
on.-Dan6a1ay News.
"A nice young man went into the Nash
vile County Clerks office. where mar
riage licenses are granted His face WAS
red and he appeared distressed They
thought he was about to drop from SUM-
stroke, and threw a pail of water upon
him. He yelled, II want to marry Mary
Jane; give me licensed" and then they
know what was troubling him.
The last joke at the expense of the
French society for the protection of ami
mails is to the following effect A coun-
tryman, armed with an immense club,
presents himself before the President of
the society, and claims the prize He is
asked to describe the act Of humanity on
which he POUNDS his claim. 81 saved the
life of a WOLF" replied the countryman.
Il might easily have killed him with this
bludgeOn," and he swings his weapon in
the air to the intense discontinue of the
President. "But where was the wolf 90
inquiries the latter, what had he done to
your" "He had just devoured my wife,"
is the reply. The President reflects an in
slant, and then says-"My friend I am of
opinion that you have been sufficiently re-
warded."
"A Lucid OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES said a
darkey to his ebony brother, chow am it
dat dis yaa telegraf carries the news froo
dem wires?" "Well, Caesar, now you
s'pose dar am big dog free miles long"
sNeber was such big dogs; don't b'lieb
dat!" "Yol jess wait mint; I'se only
lllusratln', you stupid niger. Now, dis
yaa dog, you see, jess put his front feet on
de Hoboken sho', and he puts his behind
fleets on the New York sho'." "Yesser."
oNow, s'pose you walk on dis yaa dogs
tail in New York" "Yesser" He'll
bark, won't he?" "Yesser." "Wen,where
will dat dog bark?" "In Hoboken, I
calc'late." "Dat am jess it! You walk
on the dogs tail in New York, an he bark
in Hoboken; an OATS the way de telegraf
works!' "Yesser; dasso-dasso! You'se
right, by golley."
THIRTY-THREE persons were recently
IL