Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1873-12-11
"GRUMBLER & co."
Humorous and Rniertaisins Satire on Some
Human weskusssss.


bumsn Weskusssss.
Sometime ago, the Rev. L. Dewitt
Taimage, one of the brightest star,
in the religious armament of thi
country, delivered lecture in Chi
cago, on the above subject, from
which we take few points for tL
benefit OF our readers:
He remarked that this was u yer,
pleasant world to dwell in. If PEG
pie had the opportunity to choos
which planet they would walk on
they would have been wise 10 selee
this. Ii was a splendid world, ans
q go ID time to live in it. They
should thank God they lived now
when truth was advancing anC
error disappearing. lie would
rather live ten years now than fiVS
hundred in the age of Metbuselah
Still. there are persons who found
faalt with the world. There were
smiable and agreeable people, bu,
there were also q number OF grumb
lers. There were many people who
were satisfied with everything, aud
enjoyed life comfortable. He was
never satisfied. He took his family
70 q place of amusement and was
disgusted with the music and actors;
he went to church, and, if the SER
mon was didaotic argumentive, he
called it dull, aud went to sleep; if
it was humorous, be found fault. be-
cause profane things were taken in.
to the pulpit he joined the church,
and insisted that in the morning
the edifice was as cold IS Green
land, and in the evening az
warm AS blazes. ILaughterl He
was like hedgehog With his quilts
always on end. 1t such a person
got into Heaven they would fall out
with Saint Peter. find fault with the
music, and got mad because the wall
wasn't plumb. Lsrghter1 They
should look on the bright aide Of
things. 1t depended very much on
how things we're looked at whether
they were bright or black.
Taere was no more pleasant thing
than saying winsome things in q
pleasant way, and no more detests.
Ole persons than those going around
meddling with everybody and whis-
pering ABOUT their neighbours Ec,.
Gentricities, when harmless, were
bsarabIe. provided they did not hurt
any one but the owners. The phil.
osopher who put the candle to the
bed, and blew himself cut of the
window, hurt nobody but himself.
Laughter. Let two yonng men go
out Into the world, one with Sc. 900
and bad manners. and the other
without any money, but with good
manners, and IN the end good man.
uars wonld win.
A louBger was one who came st
The wrong time. and stayed too long.
Some persons had nothing to do aud
supposed nobody else had They
remained around, sitting all over the
room. They expected to be enter
tanned. They rose to go, and being
requested not to be in a hurry, re-
uTned for another two hours
stretch Compared with such out.
rage. blessed was sea sickness, bIes-
red was govt, blessed was the horse
distemper [Iaughter], blessed were
all the shsms aud Inconvenience in
life.
The greatest bore was the man
who felt be should speak at meet
ing He should speak or bust
[ laughter He had precedent n
Balaam's travelling companion.
Laughter.
The man perpetuslly lachrymose,
who always had the blues, was
another nuisance. There were men
who were eternally full of evil prog
nosticatious. although in the lottery
of life there were thousands of pri.
yes to every blank. Good hearty
laughter was better than spleen,
and good hUmor more eficacious
than growing. Unlimited indulgence
in eating was one cause of the blues,
because q civil war ragged between
the stomach and the brain. Gymnas-
Iums were excellent institutions. In
them docto Of divinity punched
stuffed boys; millouaires swung
dumb-bells; lawyers hung from bars
by the heels, and all managed to get
rid of the rheumatism and the thou.
sand ills that the flesh is heir TO.
The gy gymnasium was better than an
ocean of stomach bitters. The pure
air OF the country, inhaled on horse
back, for those who could afford it
was better. There must be some.
thing wrong with a man who did
not love q horse deserved 10 be kick
ed by q mule. Laughter ] Skating
was another excellent exercise, La.
dies should skate.
These amusements were supposed
to be indigni6ed and improper. To
the man who never killed his wife
without asking a blessing, they
SEEMED so [laughter], but to no one
else.
Republicans and Democratic by
pochondriacs were always blue about
the state OF the country, and saying
it was going TO rum. To his certsin
knowledge, the country was going
TO 'uin since be was FIVE years of
age, but it had not gone yet, he
was not afraid of the country until
tree speeches ended, and then be
wanted 10 go TO Kamtshcatka He
believed men of every party could
work for the good of their c"untry
whether Republican or Democratic,
Tory or Wing, native American,
Feuisn, CT a Brooklyn lecturer
CLaugbter.l