, 1873-07-20
THE OLD WOMAN | NET AT BADEN.

Ho.pasd Paul, tn tho american Register, PariS.
can distinctly remember when I first wit
nosscd sheridan's comedy, "The Rivals" OF
thinking that tho character Of Mrs. Malaprop
must DO an amusing ezaggeration. When read
Mrs. Partsugton'a payingB thought thom gro-
tesque, but overdono; and although roarcd
with laughter at skotchley's "Mra. Brown at tho
Play" conceived the old lady to bo born Of
tho brain OF tho facatious raco,tcur.
wot mo Of q Indy in London about
whom many violent diBlocations of aylla-
bios aro related, and who is said to have
boastod that sho had spinal staircase untlur
hor establishment, but when mot this lady
found that she not only spoke e1cellont English,
but waB ahrowd woman Of buaness withal, nlu
therefore concluded that some Of tho mud waga
of tho "Junior Garriok" or "savago" cluba
adopted this lady out Of quaint aort Of afrec-
tlon aa d peg to hang their jokes upon. But,
recently, at Dadon-Baden met an American
femnle Il can't call her . LADY,, who out-Mnl-
aapropcd tho most Darlington Of Mr.. Browns:
sho Tss from tout Vest" md lived
She had boen loft n widow, her hus-
band having boon farmer, and was now on
her nrst tour On tho Continent. sho waa litor-
ally phenomenon Of Ignorance and nia-
learning, 10 adangorous thing received exempli-
heation it did in this caso. sho sat next to mo
at tho table fhote at the lotol, and after tho
faahion Of neighbora at Continental dinnerB, wa
tssctod my sttontoa. she rss argo yeoW aH w.
faced woman with Lair tho color Of mahogany,
and the front Of her ample gown literally dotted
all over with bold, shining, Palais-Roy
oxtond In glittering, uubrokon line down to
her very toes: Ono OF tho waiters spoke Of her
to his brotllor-kellner as tho s'old pig III
armor." At tlinnor Bho turned to mo md Said
"Yon'll o1cuso me, but how do you hayo your
!'Oh, simply to the Hotel Royal" (where waa
1That's good idea" pursued Bho. II didn't
know the name Of no hotels hcro, so ncghbor
Of mine who had once boon in Europe told mo
it would be d good plan to have au OF miuo aent
to tho post restaurant, and emit find no such
restaurant IN town. took carrage yesterday
hnd looked for it everywhere"
It Was simply duty to instruct her that she
should apply to tho posto 1estan!e.
"If YOU do not speak Frcnch, / asled sshow
DO yen make nal! y; yourself understood whom you arc
:" Lordbloss you, no French for me- UNDER
stand mono OF these furrin' tongues, not T.,
English ID as much AZ can manage. lira
an interrupter wherever go-over since I loft
England at least. Now, London is eonaiblo
paco to visit it it's only for that reason they do
speak English thero aud that's comfort, il it IL
found the old dame had Just returned from
italy, and it Was astounding to hear lor mix up
places and thiuga and poople. It required but 4
little Gontle encouragement to loosen hoE
tongue: 1Fne ,.,.. ,,,.. ~ .,.,
It's elegant"
''And ths pictures, the art treasures Of sunny
affoctntion Of enthuaiaam.
"Thoyro splendid" said she, "whoro thoyra
not too old. They showed mo a lot OF broken
bits Of things IN Rome that I couldn't mako
arm somewhere elise It looked to me- mo nero rub
bage, that did, but tle pictors wero worry nice.
liked Rapl,ael's marriage with the Virgin. but
I didn't think much Of the HLast Supper" M
that q masterpiece / can't think, for I've soon
public-houao Hlgns In Ameriky that had much
richer coloring into them than that. Ono Of tho
Apostles only had one log, and Tn euro that
Aint no good DRAWN, not that know much OF
pAihtin', dear knows"
ibid you stop at Floronco ?" asked.
"oh, yes, and wont to the Pity Palace, and
work Pa SS Sods Sse ss.sPfsd ysng by G''n' There's
~ %Yes, tSs1s, , i -: SosS, I and she ought to be
"Aahamed OF herself, ,oho-Vonus2 Why
You wouldn't have her dressed or drapod, would
z9a"s z9s" You'd ruin the classic 0''psy' Think Of
"Thipk of docency! say again aho ought
to be ashamed OF horself; don't mean VonuB,
f0r ep0ee ltR Inc fe6af thing Tor ner 10 20 un-
dreasod but TitionB ought to remember she's d
lady and looked upon rs aich III Lonlon. I've
heard her sing"
"Heard her sing, who ?" I asked In amaze
ment.
"Why, Titiens; and how she could wasto ller
time paintin' ono Of ller own sex layin of OIL II
sofa, like thnt, l can't think. Titious' Venus
may be great work, but for my pnrt prefer
her Norma"
It Is evident that tho coincidence of sound in
tho popular pronunciation OF tho two names had
utterly mialod this astonishing old creature, and
al loft the table aud gayo lor parting glanco,
WAS reminded OF That other old dame Of that
convenient locality known as "out weat,"'' who
onco wrote to hor son not to set into tho "por-
nicious habit Of Waiting bilious roons and
howel.alleys as sioh wicked places led to the
shndder Of the value Of doath, y which WAS quito
as perverted state of ideas al Mrs. Partingtun
whom Bhe returned from Naples, and would in-
sist on always talking OF IN corruption Of
Mount VociforouH."