The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-08-23

Martial ehildren-Infant in arms.
. Wire y felIows-Telograph ope ra
tors.
Never discuss anything with anybody.
Life is too short
A dull Boarding house pep
per.
John Smith lives in New York this
year. There are 24S of him.
Tho pace of New Orleans funerals
averages twelve miles on hour.
a small boy has grayely ssked this
question; SPA, does heartburn mean
,sioklat after. your girlP
% Portland has Widows Wood Socie.
ty"-bat who ever knew Of 8 widow
who wouldn't. $3.50
"A Virginia lady, gathering berries,
was lately struck twice in the breast by
a rattlesmake, but thanks to toilet arti-
fees escaped harm.
"Mamma, dess bod is hoiug to play
croquet; he's dot his wicket set " said a
little four year old girl looking at rain
bow.
The girls in Springfield, Miss, fac.
tory are supplied by the proprietors with
chewing, gum, in order that they may
not waste time in talking.
A Kentucky editor speaks of a local
genius who has been perseveriug con
tributor to the Office waste basket for
several years.
Notwithstanding all they say against
1t, there is not an editor in the State
who would refuse to accept "back pay"
fSom subscribers.
- "A Bangor woman got angry with a
directory eapvasser because that young
gentleman would, not take the name Of
erssix. months old baby.
News is sca:ce in Minnesota; in the
effort to present something fresh, a
1ianesboro paper has found it necessary
to publish the Ten Commandments.
"a wabash, Ind, editor returns thanks
for . centipede sent him by mail from
Texas, being the first cent of any kind
he had seen for month,
The Charleston Mesos and Courier re
ports that The Jail is crowded with pri.
soners, and those sentenced to the Peni.
teutiarJ cannot be sent on because of a
lack of funds.
In the most central business locations
land in London is worth. .S135 per
square foot, Sl13 per square foot III New
York, s3e e7 per squaro foot in Chica-
CO. and S22 per square foot in San
Francisco. 5a s,s sis,s,.. {. !,
A Dutchman getting excited over an
account of an elopement of a married
woman, gaze his opinion thus. III my
wife runs away init anoder mans wife, /
shakes him ont Of his preeches, If she be
mine fiddler, mine Got.r
"a minister in Lexington, Kentucky,
lately said ia the pulpit that he had seen
q pack Of cards and a backgammon
board u the parlor Of a member of his.
churchs and after services that night
several pious men scolded their wives
for carelessness. ~ uN 'JcE
- A young lady of Remington Of
practical turn OF mind was invited by
an Advent exhorter to get her white
robe ready and prepare to ascend. '.I
Ssnt she. replied, afather and mother
are going up, ana somebody must stay
to seeto the cattle"
The Norristown Herald says that a
man wrote e the editor Of horticultur,
al Journal and asked: "What are the
most advantageous additions to, dried
grasses for winter ornament?" The
editor replied: Acroliniam. roseum,
A alba .Gomphrena globsola, and G.
globosa camea." ~
Digging horse radish is profitable
business in Omaha While engaged at
shez business the other day, man dug
up $4,000 in gold. Were Mr.. Greeley
alive he would favor us with double
6sded eaitorial surt ing eserybody to 60
West and raise horse radisb.
!'Sambo, whar you git dat watch You
weared to meetin last Sunday 2" #
slow you know liada watch p
as'Kass L seed de chain hang out dc
pocket in 'front.' -
sGo' way niggAr! S'poae Yor see a.