Richland beacon., 1873-06-14
The Cont.

An old Scottish gentlewoman Zone of
those genealogical ladies now becoming
rare) would never allow that any but pcO-
it was mentioned that r0t1uier was
afflicted with he disease. she would shake
her head. ma. ma. its only my father
and Lord Gallowa' that have the regular
gout." In Bidckmood's Magazine, lSt:'. in
"A paper of surprising humOr. appeared
the following.
THAT pain which you feel in the joint
of your great toe, quOth Monsieur GOut,
''haS, you Halter yourself, become rather
less since eight o'clock, wheu you took
your last dose of colchicum. Quite a mis-
take, my dear Sir. The member, is, any
thing, more swollen and inilamed than
before. Observe, now, | shall take the
liberty of inserting this little awl. just by
the way of probe. Aha, it makes you
vince. \ very good sign that, however,
since it proves that there is no ground for
apprehending immediate modification.
Now do You know why it is that your
toe is so singularly sensitive: I'll tell
You. You remember three years ago. or
derin" a batch of Burgundy. Previous TO
that time you had been in very good
health, for you had plenty of occupation
and little leisure for gluttony or wine-bib-
bing your means were limited, and dur
ing the holidays you took Suiliciency of
pedestrian exercise. Really. in those days.
never expected to have the pleasure of
making your acquaintance. | considered
you just the Kind of a fellow likely To be-
come an ornament of the Alpine Club.
But your cStmable uncle, old Jones, the
Observation-Disclosures you. knew him very
|
To him when he was roaring like an ag-
gravated bullOck-yOur old uncle Jones,
say. died and left you his money
You are not going to sleep, are you !?
Well, 1 call that rather unhandsOme
treatment, considering that | have taken
the pains to come here and bear
you company. A slight touch of the
pincers may. hOwever-aha, ais right
again you are as lively as a snap
pin@-turte. Whereabouts was l.:
oh, remember. Old Jones left you his
money, and you determined to take your
ease. No one can blame you for that.
What's the use of Tagging to make more
when you are in possession of cool
kl,0O0 year. and may indulge in shoot
ing-boX and hunters? But you could
never make up respectable bag on the
mOors. and on horseback you were any
thing but DucrOw. You preferred liv-
ing in town. took chambers in the Al
bany, gave nice little recherche dinners.
and laid in that stock of Burgundy to
which have already alluded. 1t was OF
fine vintage, strong and heady. and made
the blood circulate in the veins like light
ming. TO it attribute the honor of our
first introduction, though port and claret.
not to mention sundry kinds of delicious
-. ~ tri IA
lessen the distance between us. Then you
took to late hours, hot rooms, and ecarte,
almost Justly included in the catalogue OF
fashionable pleasures; and our acquaint-
ance, at first only slight, has now ripened
into permanent friendship. But really
must not allow my feelings to divert me
from the scientific purpose for which
have visited you tonight. Don't be afraid
shall lay aside awl and pincerS, and vary
the experiment by injecting a few drop,
of molten lead between the flesh and thu
bone. Ha what an enviable yell ! GOul
! lungs, | can assure you. are in perfectly
healthy state. and may last you for the
next twenty years, il you don't force mt
to get into your stomach. By-the-way
what silly proverb that is against push
| ing things to an extremity. Itis with thu
extremities always make a point of deal
| ing in the first instance, and take it tina
very few people would wish me to depart
from the practice. What is that you say
You wish that | would 60 to the devil
Pardon me for hintiEg in reply that you
are both rude and unreasonable. l an
here, as you well know, in consequence O
your indiscretiOns."
Archbishop Sheldon not only wished
for gOut. but prOffered el,0OO to any per
son who would help him to it, looking
upon it rs Z" the only remedy for the dis
tress in his head.'