The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-06-27
NUMBER 20.

"A woman at East Jatfrey, n. II.
has had an accurate picture of s
juniper tree printed on her leg by
a flash of lightning. And the ed
itor who chronicled the event has
had lively time explaining to his
wife where he got the item.
The infantile population of New
Albany, Indiana, is fast disap-
pearing down the Threats of hun
CRY sows, and the hog owners of
fer to let the hereayed parents have
their next winters pork at cost,
IN return for their children.
Some questions very naturally
suggest themselves to an inquring
mind. An amateur farmer won
ders, 'Why, on all this fair earth,
the ground is spread bottom side
up, so that it must be turned over
with pillow before crops can be
raised. .
An Illinois editor who was en-
jOying himself at San Francisco
when Horace +. Clark stopped is
suing passes over the L. T. rail
road, writes to his wife that he is
walking home for his liver's sake,
and will arrive in the fall or early
spring.
On Monday morning last an
Irish woman, living at St. Paul,
lifted barrel of sugar from the
ground into an ox-cart, was deliv-
cred of twins that night, and two
days thereafter did the washing
for family of ten persons. Other
States are invited to bring on
their specimen women.
Lord Chief Justice Cockburn
has just made a joke. a Mrs.
jury while being examined as
witness in the Tichborne case,
stated that she had. eleven child
rem, whereupon his honor observ-
ed he had always understood it
took twelve to make a jury. Eng
land is still echoing the laugh.
Since the discovery of the Bend
er murders, there is not Chicago
drummer who travels extensively
who has not been in the habit of
dining ut the Bender mansion fire.
quently. The reason they escaped
is, that when the fatal hammer tap
descended on their heads il was like
Draining sponge or India rubber
ball.
\ Duluth editor publishes sta
tistics to prove that Within nine
years that embryo city will need
fifty elevators, l,00O steamers, and
tens of thousands of railroad cars.
Ae sees it all sin his minds eye"
and is so confident all this will come |
to pass he will sell half interest in |
his printing office for new mich |
COW.
People who are not sure of heaV-
en- are fiocking to Danville, N. H.,
this summer. There is not a law
yer, doctor, lightning-rod man,
sewing machine agent, nor hotel |
clerk in the place, while more than
four hundred beautiful. long haired,
rosy-cheeked, bright-eyed maidens,
with natural teeth and white dress
rs meander through the streets at
eventide, chewing gum and smiling
OIL the few young men.
Mr.. Carpenter, of Marquette,
Mich, had not the slightest idea
he was about to create an atmos-
pherical disturbance when he
the ashes out of his pipe
On the head Of u powder keg.
And when 4 fellow workman con-
veyed all that was left of Mr.. Car
penter to his wife, in n bag, she
quietly remarked, Just his luck;
hang him up III the wood-shed
where the rats won't get at him,
till night"
Sheridan was much annoyed in
the House of Commons by a mem
Der who kept constantly crying,
= Hear! heart The witty orator
described a fellow who wanted to
play rogue, but only had sense
enough to play fool, and exclaim-
ed, with great emphasis, Where
shall we find Il more foolish knave
or a more knaylsh fool than hei"
''Hear! hearr' shouted the troub-
lesomc member. Sheridan turned
around, and thanking him for the
prompt information, sat down
amidst a general roar of laughter.