The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-01-18
JONES' BEARD.

beafC he has Retained lie" txUtiitut QualltIet
since, but has lost more. 1'1 i,.ed none
There time when If you n-keu tavor Of
him, he showed energy md aacrity; now b.
says "Eh :" iu sn sb,en, manner, his MUD being
entaneled in his hair. Ii a i, vain of his
eyes, or teeth, or nose, he requires locking
glass TO remind MIN Of his advantages aud, in
the abse nee oi some rejecting object, his pride
may remain i'll allegiance: but IA beard is per-
petpal snare the posses.or has only to draw IN
his chin and glance down ward, and there il al.
ways is. suspect thst even holy hermits, who
deemed tina, they had got rid of all vanity when
parted finally from mirrors, combs and soap.
sometimes gave the enemy an opening below
their chius.
Noys me men t,ke "a morbid pride in very
coarse al ugly hair, simply because of tho in.
terost To have had in its growth. They plant
aweed "snd watch it because they have planted
it." But Jsnes' beard was Undoubtedly very
fine vegetable Of its I;.u soft. thick, black and
glossy, and be I'D right to admire it in mod.
GRAFTON =, WAS his excessive Interest in it that
We complained Of; no always stroking it,
brushing it, pettng it; be even talked to it, tor
when Geigned a response 10 any question which
was put to MIN, IL 40 his beard that he spoke
not to his interiocutor.
This weakness OF oues for his chin.tail was
great boon to photographers he was always
having it taken. The we're three large sun
reom pses ntins as MANY different views Of
Inc beard profile, three quarter and full,
and their frames were gorgeous. His wife wore
Representative Of the beard in massive brooch
at her neck two smaller photographs OF it
in bracelets while glittering gewgaw with a
pearl cross upon it. which hung on her breast
like an Order, proved, when opened, to contain
fourth likeness Of the same interesting object.
Thus oarvers, silders and jewelers. profted like.
Wis 4 !. ,ty,.y dny fI.
lei saloons, for when Jones went to have has hair
cut INSTEAD OF stAmmering with sh me at having
obtained CEility On false pretenses, when lis
operator, wiki heart throb6ins nigh with hope OF
a three halipenuy commission, inquired blandly
whether he required anything to-day, he replied
etoutly, YES, a large bottle Of Bri'Ilantine.'
Thus, Jones beard may claim the same defense
which is argued III favor Of other insti tutions it
made good 10, trade.
But certainly the photographer got IN Dat Ut
it, especially the Par;slan, for Jones had An idea
that there something i'll the French air or
French chemicals which brought out the peCu
liar soitness and deicaCy of Ais pet; aud, a. he
was in mysterious business profession
the exact nature of which never made cut, bu,
which causSd him to DO interested in I'll sorts OF
forei IN railways, canals and manufactures; and
Is, whatever part Of tue world he was bound for,
IL Was Incumbent upon him to spend day or
two in Paris, both going 4G'' returning, at other
peoples expense, there w,se few mess,eurs of the
oaU.erA re.llsDt il; Il ~ center of civilization
who hGd not iocuss' him.
When LAo war coke out between France and
Germany, Jon, va, violent partisan of the
former county. He iooked upon tho conduct
OF BismJ' a, Holt, d Co., in blocking up the
approar es to hi tavoritc capital personal
otfsr :. wartun interference with the comfort
ar pleasure Of man who had never offended
ID n ipE hat 10 uch in
pocket for his business took him to Italy ut tba,
time: but he had to make unpleasant sea voy.
ages, and have his beard lmned by artists who
did BOZ give him full Satisfaction. and he had
hated everything Teutonlc, from flutes TO sausa.
ges, with the hste of f,anctireur. Directly
Paris yas once more open, he FASTENED thither
but III stay short one. His favorite atel
Ter was wreck and the principal photographer
were ell hard ut work taking the ruins. So tht
shereh lders, or whoever paid for his apartment,
at the Irsad Hotel his breakfast at the CAT,
Angitis, his dinners at Philippe's, his stalls a
the eatrea, got off cheSply that time, and b,
stsrh promptly to look utter his, her, or the
int s in Belgium. He came to place wher,
the way had not been rsp,red after strats
gicsl demolition. snd lie Obliged to trave
like our graud fathers--!ike the fathers of som
OF Us (worse luck. Who're the diligence VA
unea d from Is mystery but there il was
deus amber Of hours 1t jolted at II +. II. int
the town where passengers could take the trsi,
again Here there was ell examination of pass
ports nd for about the fifth time Jones wa
shut i'll pen like bullock, with his buudl
OF rae n ore hand, bag, which grew hsavie
every mo .nent, in the other, and an umbrellas
which Ii i.ted upon a.saulting his neighbora
who would not take 1t. pokes PHILOSOPHERS ,
under his arm. Bulosk- have only got thsi
horns md tails to lock after, but they are use
TO carry them; foreign officials should remembe
this, and not treat people who cannot trave
without hat boxes and such small extras in q
drover.'ke manner; it is inconsiderate.
Jones urged in due course up to the gate G
exit. W two officials stood behind bar. On
OF these mined bis passport, the other hi
rhys'ognomy. The former was satisfied, til
latter, harder to please cried Halt! 10
walked of. Jones, whc had not received mil
ta!y education, took no notice, and WAS movin
calmly n, when he was arrested by IA yendarm
who said something short and sharp, but qui,
ph!nteliisible and headed him back I, the faci
IL pec'or, who looked NJ him again and agai
giancinr alternately from his face to tho PILOT
graph Le held IN his tsnd. Then he showed Il
photograph to his companion, .h9n to the gen
0rmp. All seemed t. come to the Same concl
sion ava The result was that Jones WINS march,
off 10 neigh boring guardroon, where the
were al French soldiers aud an officer. II
photogl ii was again shown and compared wi
Jones. hen the officer questioned the latt
yioleutl Now Jones could uude-st and Freu,
when 1t spoken slowly, and make hms,
understo in that tongue when his listener "
patient and intelligent; but of the torrent
words poured into his ears on this occasion.
oon'a make no more than II no had been Bal
hricklsyer