Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1873-08-07
HOW THOMAS BLUMBLE GOT MAR
RIED.

woman -Eatgr. j mean lboluds DiuuiUic,
Of the importing house cf Hood, SILVER
Sc Blumble." He was very fond OF let
ting people know that he disregarded the
charms Of the softer sex, and was ire
auentIy heard 10 say that he would IKE
to see tue woman that could get him I'M
der her thumb. There was time, of
course. when Blumb!e was susceptible to
the overtnrcs Of Cupid; because when he
was plain Tom" Of fifteen years OF age,
and lefi Rock Cove" came to the city
and entered the employ Of "Mensor, ligby
g. Hood" he left behind him young
'.Polly Ann" with many sigh and tear
and more VOWS than both put togefher, W
be true till death. For two years he wrolc
constantly to his Polly Ann, repeating thc
manifold vows Of boybood love; then ne
was promoted from boy TO entry clerk,
and soon after was introduced TO q very
bewitchipg Young lady, whom we may bic
allowed 10 eau Hattie Elton. Then he
forgot nis Polly Ann down In Rock Cove,
and became very attentive to Miss Elton:
no aceouspanied her TO the iheaier and
made her presents; he got trusted for his
new coat. and with the money that should
have paid fn IL they took sIeigh-fide 10
Brighton. and toasted On hot chickens
and champagne 10 please her he learned
10 polka and waltz; the scho;iIsche and
varsovienne were not in vogue then
Things had SPED along very smoothly for
about 4 year: so Tom, thinking be might
as well 6ayc The matter settled at once,
popped the question. Miss Elton appear.
ed very much surprised; for moment
she remained silent. then lifting up both
hands. she exclaimed:
"Why, Mr. Blumble fshc had constant
Nv called him Tom for six months preyi-
Gus). I've been engaged these two years;
didn't you know ity"
"Know ~ Mo- replied Blumble, in
utter astonisbment.
"Wby, yes, I've been engaged TO Charley
Dudley for long while, and ] thought
YOU knew all about it, and was only pay
ing attention IN me out OF poliiencss
Charley Is In New York now but we are
To be married next Christmas"
"Married next"
We may guess what Blumble was about
To say, but we shall always be in doubt,
for instead Of finishing his sentence, he
took his hat and rushed ont Of the house,
not even waiting 10 make the parting
salutation OF good evening" Perhaps he
was afraid 20 trust his crashing teeth, for
fear they would change his well.meant
words into some wicked expression. ans
Tom, in the privacy of his own cham
Der, with his door locked, his elbows upon
his lightstand, and his face quite buried
in his hands. reverted to the years time
and the many dollars he had thrown
away on Miss Elton: then he thought Of
poor Polly Ann, whom be had "cut" so
shamcfully, down in Rock Cove, and he
decided 10 write 10 her, 10 offer pressing
business as an excuse for not having writ
ten before To sue for pardon for past neg
Iiqence, and 10 assert that his affections
were still unaliercd and unalterable. So
he unburied his face, and penned the ten
der missivc full OF falsclpods and stale
love, which he dispatched with the fullest
confidence that Polly Ann would be very
bappy 10 receive IT, But alas for poor
human expectations Polly AIMS letter
came. 1t was brief; she told Blumblc
she had heard Of his attentions To the
city lady, that she had almost forgotten
him, and was going TO marry Jerry
Smike, the village blacksmith, the next
week. She returned To Tom his earliest
efforts In loye.lettcr writing, and lock
Of his hair, and requested him To return
To her sundry articles In that line that he
had received from her.
From that day Blumble announced
himself 10 tbe'world AS II woman.hater.
He had been false 10 one woman, and one
woman had tricked him. SO he cried
down The whole sex. The time which
Blumble had heretofore divided between
love and business was now devoted To
knsiness, and in consequence he received
one promotion after another until he had
the pleasure of seeing his own name the
third on the sign over the door which Inc
had entered as an GRAND boy. Il don't
believe he remembered that there was any
such person In the world rs Hattie Elton
or Polly Ann the first day the new sign
was raised.
Il was as the junior member of the firm
that humble had travelled through the New
EAgnnd States two years ago last fall
with saplples, receiving orders During
his touf'ke remained In the pretty village
of T., NJ IT,, one fine night In October
HekA In the bar.room after supper, smok
ing1iis cigar, until II became filed will
villagers, discussing politics, smoking
their pipes, talking Of their crops ant
ogling him, all Of which was quite unin
teresting 10 him, so he concluded to walk
out and view the village by moonlight
He had hardly stepped into the entry, ant
before he could close the door, ere III
heard voice inquire:
..Who Is that gentleman
Ellis name il Blumble; he's from Bos
ton" replied the landlord.
"Blumble from Boston," chimed In
third voice, and then added, "You don
say sol" followed by n long low whistle
of establishment.
Blumblc stepped off the piazza an,
walked up the village street. He hat
scarce walked twenty yards before he wa
aware Of being followed Giving the mat
ter but little thought, however, he turnet
from the road into pleasant lane tina
wendell its way toward some halfdozel
farmhouses until he came TO rustic seat
upon which he threw himself and wa
soon obliyious to all the world exceptin,
the business affairs of Hood, Silver &
Blumble." He sat until his cigar wa
consumed, when he was aroused to tn
world around him by the village clocl
striking out ten. ButtOning his coat close
" around him, he hurried down the Ian
toward the hotel. As he turned from til
lane into the great road he was suddcnl
and not very softly seized by the throal
by the shoulders, and by the coattails b.
at least dozen hands. He was rathe
too much surprised to speak, even If h
had chance to- the hands so clOsel