Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1873-09-04
"A Peculiar Practical Joker.

OF existing practical jokers, perhaps
the most remarkable is French musi-
clan. If he has not arrived at the proud
pinnacle only attained by a Hook, it may
be because opportunity is wanting, or
such things are hardly regarded in the
same innocent light as they were thirty or
forty years ago, and are punishable
offenses. BY profession French horn
player, whether his jokes are used as q
method of recldme or not, we do not care
to determine about. AS an artist he
stands without rival. On his instru-
ment he possesses an ampleur, a pureness
of sound, degree of feeling, power of
executing, which are unsurpassed. He
has even accomplished the impossible on
this difficult instrument, playing dis
tinct first and second, or an accompani-
ment, all at the same time. But even the
wonderful musical attainments he pos
sesses are subservient to his practical
jokes. Playing every known instrument
with wonderful skill, true Bohemian, he
has been known to delight a public fair,
followed by an attendant in a cart, in
which was piano and stock of instru-
ments, and to play on each one in turn, only
that instead of receiving money from the
crowd, he would distribute it after the
performance. OF course this brought
such throng that all the booths were de-
serted, and the business Of the fair had to
be discontinued until the gratuitous mu-
stefan was removed. Going to London
some years ago, he became such a nuis-
anse that the guardians of the peace were
only glad when his musical engagements
were over, and he left for France. A
favorite amusement of his was to leave
his lodging with a dressingcase in his
hand, and, going to cab station, to-
select certain vehicle. Getting
inside, he would direct cabby to
drive to some public square, selecting one
of the most throaged in London. Having
arrived there he would order a halt, and
request the coachman to block the wheels.
Inside the cab our practical joker would
take off his coat, put on robe de cham
bre, and then proceed to unpack his DRESS
ing case. A small mirror would be hung
to the carriage windows, and on the seats
would be arranged all the articles neces-
sary for a most luxurious shave. Calmly
unconscious of the first two or three little
boys, who were watching the operation,
somewhat amazed at seeing a mans face
covered with lather, gazing at them in
most undisturbed manner, this tiny nu-
cleus would very soon form the center OF
large crowd. Certainly from the DELHI
crate movements of the gentleman in the
cab nothing but the most perfect shave
would satisfy him. The assemblage would
split their sides at the comical way with
which he approached the ncighborhood
of his nose, when shaving his upper lip,
or shrek with horror fearful that they
would witness suicide as he would
draw his razor across his throat. At last
the street would become impossible, and
a policeman would enter on the scene,
edging his way with difficulty through
the crowd, and the matter would end by
the arrest of the practical joker as a dis
turber of the public peace. Before the
magistrate, when condemned to pay
fine, the musician would allege that
London was SO dark, SO foggy, that he
never could see to shave himself except
in the street, and not liking to sit on the
curbstonc or on house steps, he had
thought that cab transformed into a
dressing room was not only the most in
ingenious but a very intelligent way Of
getting rid of his super1uous beard"
Never at rest, travelling from one
part of the continent to another,
his chief object in life seemed
to be to worry custom.house officials.
Travelling with quantity of baggage, and
being an inimitablc actor, he would pre-
tend to conceal two of them, huge
trunk and a smaller one, from the eyes OF
the officials, only the more to excite their
curiosity At last the larger trunk would
be opened 1t would be found to contain
thousands of secondhand pantalOon
straps, an appendix to trousers now per-
fectiy obsolete. In vain the custom house
people would try to cudgel their brains
to solve the mystery. They had to be all
bundled out to the very last one, but, to
their amaZement, no two straps were
found to be alike. They had evidently
been packed by hydraulic pressure, for
the most frantic efforts on the part of the
employees would not put them back again
into the trunk. In the meantime hundreds
of passengers were storming at the deten-
ton, while the practical joker calmly
looked on at the bother he was causing.
But the second and smaller trunk was
now to be examined, and the custom
house people hoped there to find him in
default They ask for the keys. The
practical joker draws punches of ponder
Gus keys from every one of his pockets;
none will fit, until at last, their patience
exhausted, the custom-house officers
threaten to burst the trunk open. Then
the possessor of this particular trunk
calmly asks the angry officer if he is
married "What is that your businesss"
is the surly reply "Only this, that
before you open that trunk / would
advise you to go home, shake
hands with your wife, kiss your little chill
dren, write your will, and call at an un-
dertaker's as you come back-there are
rattlesnakes in that trunk. never travel
without them" Ofcourse the man leaves
the trunk instantly, and a messenger has
to be sent to the head director, who is
shrewd enough to be aware that he has To
do with some practical joker. Presently
the official returns, and asks pompously:
slow many snakes have you, sir 2" "Only
six" is the reply; "look for yourself"
ooh only six. The head of the depart
ment says six snakes can pass, but that
seven would have had to pay duty. l am
also directed to state To you that If you do
not leave this Ofiice--pantalOOn straps,
snakes and all-in five minutes, you will
be forcibly elected" "And who is to
repack my precious straps, a collection
unequaled in the history Of the worlds