Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-19
The Dedbeat.

The dedbeat is an individual who trades
upon another persons capital.
They are common to all grades ov So
ciety, from the seedy loafer, klear up tew
the sanktified gentleman, with standing
kut collar, and nekti stiff and white as
perfekshun.
Sumtimes they liv entirely upon their
necessitys, and at others, seem tew prak
tiss the profession more tew display the
eleganse ov their genius than for emmy
They are possessed ov every grade of
kapacity, from no branes at all, to more
than they kno what to do with.
They occupy posishun leetle more
respektabel than a kommOn thief, and a
good deal less respektabel than hiway-
man.
The dedbeat, in point of average hu-
mainly liz the meanest, and the most de-
bilitated, ov all the scum that riZes tew
the surface ov society.
They work harder tew make themselfs
detested thsn they would hav to. to be
respekted bi every boldly.
They hav no friends that they won't de-
fraud, and ar az mulch terror tew others,
and kalamity tew themselfs, as mad
dog at large:
They liv upon the disasters and kredu-
litys ov human natur, and tho more das-
tardly at heart than common pickpocket,
often live out whole life bi the force Ov
their genius with no wus stain than a
doubtful reputashun.
Thare amt no artifice nor philosophy
that will prctekt US from the low kun
ming and brazen impudense ov the died.
beat.
He IL nitemare and walking pesti-
lence at noon. tide.
He works hiz way into the konfidense
ov others az Shiny az a snaik, and when
he gifts thare don't hesitate tew feed upon
the most rare and sakreo fruits he kan
find.
He,iz kommon enemy that every one
abhors, and no one kan protekt himself
against.
The ruff tyranny ov bully, the koarse
overreachings ov blatant knave, the re-
fined fraud Ov an open villain, the krush-
ing defeat ov bold operator at worst,
oftimes only wounds our vanity, or awakes
our surprise, but the sneaking dedbeat
whoze CRATE ambishun seems tew be a
loafer In petty plumber always excites
our horror and arouzes our feelings ov
vengeance.
The dedbeat liz a human byena who
hunts the helpless living, and digs up the
buried ded; he liz lost to all shame upon
earth, and to all salvashun hereafter.
The wolf IL one ov the mcanest speci.
mems ov animated natur; but when he puts
on sleeps clothing he robs himself Ov
hiZ own courage and steals a weakness to
hide filthy wickedness in.
ALI men abhor the dedbeat; he liz lower
down than the angle-w0rm, who burrows
in the ground and feeds upon dirt.
Thare amt no man upon earth but what
haz been sumtime beat bi theZe morbid
vermin. They are the lice of Egypt, and
the murrain of old.
They cum upon yu In yure sad and ten
der moments with the stealthy tired ov
bed-bug. In yure hour ov triumph they
stand reddy tew steal yure laurels, and
when despair envelops yu like kloud,
they discover the signal from afar, and
come trooping up, like the nasty buzzard,
tew fatten upon the corpse.
Thare amt no retorik vivid enuff to paint
theze devils, only in water cOlors. Thare
amt no anathemas that can reach to the
bitterness of truth. Thare amt no logick
that kan make them see themselfs as 9TH
ers see them.
The dedbeat livs out hiz days, the only
kreature we knO ov, without emmy kOn.
shunce, and never tew feal the impulse ov
a manly hope.
He dies finally, and goes WHARF the vir-
tewous don't, for he kant, with all his
maliss and Running, beat death nor the
devil.-Josh Billings.