The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-06-16

I weaker tons he muTmufOd-aone dollar
WGld have SSYed'Al this @ = 3 y5g,,,
NY hair stood on end. Four small enll'
dren added 10 the coroners inquest oYe!!-
lThelned me. "DoA't die" | trantically
urged; Il VIM sec what can 1ne ~
wi "i knew you wersa man Of q feeling
heart" he softly muttered; "but It Is TOO
late. only hope that my sudden de-
parturu here, under mysterious Circum-
stances, may not bring you into suspicion.
The world judges harshly,"
A cold sweat believed me. In addition
to coroner's inquest and four orphan
children, a charge oil murder was poSsiblel
"uere Is the dollar" gaSped, thrusting
1t into his hAndII5 He revived q little.
Opening Tie corner Of one eye, he said
"Could you make It two, and earn my
lifelong gratitudeY"r.. o--ygg.
' About nine, months afterwards, no
doubt led Sstrsy by the fact Of nYa,hum'
bic premises being approachAble by pass
ages leading out Of two different streets,
the same visitor came there TO die again.
l heard his preliminary attempt, then l
sald-"By all means. ] have friend Q
doctor, Yho'wlsheS ,torS subje on which
to Try new experiment. Il Is .yefy lfnFA
tunate. Pray, proceed ana don Finger
He did not. Hastily replacing his hat,
he reached the door In two Of the most
vigorous strides / ever witnessed; hpt In
the doorway he paused. ut Il the last
favor l shall ever ask OF you" he tremb.
lingly said, with solemn earnestness
cleaning IN his eyes; "but will You kind.
" tell me tohether I hare operated upon
0Ou 6etore?" l aasured him that he had.
de frightened instantly, as he replied
"You lave relieved my heart, sir. The
thing has, never yet failed, but / thought
Il had at last In that case / should have
been ruined man" he respectfully
bowed, and Yaniahsd from the doorway.
These are but samples OF the curiosities
Of my OflcB hinGRArB GOnlinuAllY h8pa
pening there which make mo look oIItt
for the time as q region Of sheer fable.
People whom you ,hPye never seen before,
and who perhaps Gay, Hist kheitS home Is
In Wales, will step In and lightly ask for
loans, to be returned with large interest
in two days You may be asked for q
Recommendation" to the hospital by
man who tells you as he stands there be-
lore you that he thinks he has got the
smallpox. By the time you have done
fumigGting after his departure, and Just at
what ought to be the busiest hour OF the
day, bToken-down commedian will per.
haps present himself, stating that he has
been recommended to you as "a man Of
taste, who would wish to hear him de-
claim In private the soliloquies Of Rich
ard III. !" Before you can get word
out, bis arm Is In the air, and he Is half
way through "NoW Is the winter Of our
discomfort" Persons bring for sale wax.
flowers, water.color drawing, pirated en-
cravings, illustrated works, as II they
thought you wanted TO ct up o drawing
room on the premises. The prices that
are asked ct every proleSsed trading trans
action In an office, show that there is
nothing Of ordinary business in the affair.
Either you have presented tosy0u the
chances OF possessing some incalculable
prizs which would be cheap, If to buy. 1t
you sold everything else you had In
the world, but for which only, quar-
ter Is diftldently asked, or else you are
entreated to give the tri6ing acknowl'
Of five dollars or so for something
which on tho face OF 1t Is not worth five
cents. Then agents wait upon you, stat
ing that they have been sent by firms OF
whom you know not even the names, you
having been selected as one of the only
twenty-five persons In your town who
were to have the favor OF subscribing to
some wild venture OF theirs. Other per.
SONS come with stories Of dlstresses, acci.
dents, prosecutions, visitstions, which are
simply incredible; the things could never
really have occurred In q world expressly
framed for accidents and distreSses. /
used 10 be called on regularly by man
who said he was small cottager In the
suburbs, and who never could keep cow
more than three weeks. At the end OF
that time, It was always killed By tgttnfng
A most neat, Clearly industrious-looki
woman was equally uniornate with 9
sewing.machine, on which the support Of
eleven children and herselt depended.
Every few weeks 1t mysteriously fell all
70 pieces, and she had to go round with
the subscription list again.
Anybody who thinks that the world is
rather dull place, being carried on upon
strict, hard business principles, should
open an office. Their, 1.-The will but keep
himself quite free from work, and properly
enter Ent6fthO spirit Of whatever happens
no will find that life Is not yet without It's
element of broad farce. II, however, he
has himself any serious work to do, he
had better take 1t into a mill, factory,
or q warehouse. Offices are incorrigible.