New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1873-04-25
unquenchab1e cigar. We give IL up. No
Man can fatbom this mystery.
or WEATHER PROBABILITIES.

that sits up aOft" In inc Ihel DiShh
Office looking out for weather tokens, and by
consequence for the life of poor Jack" lie
leads a useful life People have come to call
him "Old Probabilities" by way Of endear-
ment, and "Old Prob" for short; have taken
to watching for him with anxiety and read
ing him with interest; in short, without
knowing him they love him without naming
him, they praise. He signals before the COM
ing tempest, "Clear the track" he leads the
storm with message Set your house in
:" order" The lightnings gathered in his
hand are keys to all the pulses and the
breathngs of continent. Winds soft and
loud, from zephyr to cyclone, pipe round him
wild inharmonies of the frozen north or whis-
per fragrant melodies Of orange groves. All
climates come to him and register. TO-mOr-
rows ripple on the lake and billOw on the
shore, its bonding of wind-whipped forests
and wild grandeur of surf-beaten coasts, are
all photographed for him in advance. The
winds and waves send him their purposes and
engagements, and the rideress Hghtnings go
out at his command to post them. He sets
his signals and the pulling steamer hugs her
dock, the clinging topman furls the bellying
sail, tho laden ship holds to her anchor in
the bay. His signal lowered and commerce
spreads her wings, the long, lean steamer
cleaves the wave. the sailors sing, the rich
ship tempts the MAN,
Toward such a seer, gathering up from all
the continent our yesterdays and showing US
our to-morrows, our hearts go out with in
finite warnings. He says to Nova Scotia,
"Snow- shoes for Tomorrow" to Boston, " The
least wind is at your gates-prepare for
rheumatism - to New-YOrk, Uncover your
beautiful head, the brightness and balm OF
"Springtime wait at the doors" to Philadel-
phia, " Umbrellas - and to WashingtOn-no,
he does MT say anything to WashingtOn-every-
body Is all the time getting ready for a
"raihy day. there, no matter what the proba-
bilities aro-but whatever he says to all the
rest, his mandate is Obeyed. For we all be-
lieye in him. Our faith in him is more pro-
found than in the promises of Civil Service
Reform-we depend on him more confidently
than on our Christian statesmen; he Is one OF
the few trustworthy departments OF govern
ment service On behalf of grateful people
we salute him WeathercOck Of the Nation!
Admirable rooster, whose greeting of the
dawn contains both history and prophecy;
whom mingled climatic conditions cannot con-
fuse or long spell of weather discourage.
And yet-may we be allowed a suggestion?
Simply as to the style of the announcements.
Not-perish the thOught-nOt by any means
az tO the matter of them, nor as to any
change in the weather that he may deem
desirable but simply a suggestion i'll the in
terest Of good temper and economy of
10 ha bal nf
cherub to put the announcements in some
such shape as this 4: An area of low barOm-
:. eter and sOuthery winds changing to west
= !erly and gradually increasing, with partly
Cloudy and clearing weather aud occasional
areas IT rain, and for the most part rising
temperature will prevail in -
What we were ABOUT to say is that it is
too much strain to put On the intellect of the
average newspaper reader to carry oil this
bundle of atmospheric conditions so far be-
fore setting it down somewhere in his thought
OH some spot of dry land. For look ye, the
average reader is always in a hurry; he is
especially in hurry to know what the
weather is going to be- And he does
not care cent what other peoples
weather in other parts Of the country is
going to he. Ten to one, If he had plenty of
time and nothing else to do, he would not
read tho three or four lines which tell him,
if he is Ill NewYork, what the weather is go
ing to be in the Gulf of Mexico, or Lake SUI
peri0r. But the average newspaper reader, be-
ing an TnpetuOus creature, dashes into the
" Weather telegram like u thirsty camel into
a mirage. He takes up st once the low ba-
rometer and the direction of the winds, and
the temperature and the atmospheric cOndi-
lions generally and surrounds himself with
them He engages in the subtle exercise of
adapting each 10 the other In his thought and
aaking up in his mind the Chart of his COM
ing day. This before he finds out whether all
these things pertain to his neighbOrhoOd or some
other. And he gets very tired carrying so
much weather and so nany cOndi-
tons, and experimenting the intellectual
of combining these conditions,
so far and so long before he finds
sut what part of the world it is for. Then.
too, it is very exhausting to the temper to
lake up such a load of weather and get good
sort of grasp of it, amt then just when you
have prepared your mind for it, have to set it !
down. on the Upper lakes" or the South |
. Atlantic" or some other remote section. The |
average reader who gets fooled in this way
TWO sr three times in one paragraph, getting |
his Bundle of weather made up and having to !
ay 10 down in two or three different places !
before he comes to his own proper weather
for his own locality, is liable to ges so con-
fused before he gets through that half the en-
oyment of fine weather is disslpated, and the |
melancholy of sour winds and leaden skies is I
made more profound.
It's the only provoking feature about this |
really valuable department of Government |