Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-05-03


Oh, think not all who call thee fair
are IN their honeyed words sincere;
Ana II they offer jewels rare,
Lend not too readily thine ear. -s
Inc humble ring lately gave
May be despised by thee-well, let It'll
But, Mary, when I'm in my grave
rink that pawned my watch to getit.
Mary, 1 had second suit
-, OF clothes, of which the coat was braided;
Mary; they went to buy that flute
With which thee have serenaded.
Mary, had beaver hat,
Than this wear great deal better;
Mary, Pve parted too with that,
For pen, ink, paper for this letter.
Death song of the Modocs-aPut me
in my lava bed"
The cabbage plant is In the ground;
| it's bound to be head.
An Oregon paper refers 20 new editor
on rival sheet as ga young gentleman Of
frugal mental capacity
"A Kentuckian who said that he never
heard of Daniel Boone was promptly shot
in the leg by an enthusiastic young man.
-O'Kelley's contract with the Herdld
was to furnish box full of loaded matter.
The grandees coolly advise him to fulfill it
by shooting himself.
When an indianapolis collector gets
kicked down stairs, he increases the debt by
ten dollars more on account.
The Modocs deserve to be extermina-
ted, but insult shouldn't be added to in
jury by publishing cross-eyed wood-cut
maps of the situation.
"A woman named Wade, shoes horses
at Fort Scott, Kan, while her husband plays
billiards around the corner.
Jones, who has followed the ea,"-
he was cook ON a coaster, says that the
anchor don't amount 10 much as a general
thing, but that the rudder is always ga
stern necessity" Jones always comes out
right at the end.
The Presbyterian ministers Of London
have combined to shorten their prayers, es-
pecially the prayer that follows the sermon,
and one divine has done away with the
after-sermon prayer altogether, thereby in
creasing his hearers at least twenty 3er
cent.
Douglass Jerrold, for a long time one
of the editors of Punch, said that the
man never lived who could make 965 good
jokes year-or even half the number.
One week be thought a very good allow
ance.
-Whitelaw Reid, editor ofthe New York
Tribune, gets a salary of $4,000 a year;
Jennings has $4,000 on the Times; Croly
had $1,000 on the World; Hudson had $20,-
600 on the Herald, and was retired on a
pension of $4,000.
"A passenger on an Ohio railroad,
aroused from serene slumber by the toot-
ing of a whistle, exclaimed, petulantly:
"The train has caught up with those cattle,
again."
"A Vermont school teacher has struck
the thing at last. He makes unruly
boys tn n a grindstone one thousand times,
while another boy bears on with stick of
wood.
"A Rochester, New York, woman
worked three hours to throw the freshet out
of the kitchen window as fast as it came in
under the door, but she finally gave it up in
disgust.
An Auburn woman fell dead while
thrashing her boy for going to the circus.
II will take but few more such cases to
convince mothers of their error in suppos-
ing that boys can't go where they please.
Somebody is advertising preparation
which, among other merits, is warranted to
keep lady's hand free from chaps. Punch
knows another way to effecsthis. Let her
dress in the present fashion, and have it
known that she has no money. Chaps, if
they are sensible chaps, will let her hand
alone very severely.