Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-09-12
THE EPEBBLE-STONE CURE.

y,rrisge and Death Notices, when not exceed
ing eight lines fifty cents
THE PEBBLE-STONE CURE.
There are few people who are credulous in
,bs matter of new remedies, and hasten at the
sr., onnortunity to justify their confidence. Mr..
PLASTER, q resident of Nelson street, is such q
man, He recently read statement in bis agrl-
ontural paper that pebble-stone held 10 the
month would very much modify the. cravings
of thirst, and, as he was afraid to drink
larpe quantities of ice-water, ne was glad he
heard of the plan, and determined to give 1t
trial. He did SO, that afternoon, selecting
nice, smooth stone, and rubbing it clean on the
lep of his breeches. Pretty soon after he got
back in the house and was holding the pebble
in his mouth, and thinking, with tears OF graft
tude in his eyes, of the man Who made the
discovery, the pastor of Plasters Church, TO-
gcther with two deacons and prominent te-
male member Of the Khidghluv Mission Socle-
ty, made call. Mrs. Plaster showed them
into the parlor, where Plaster, with the pseb-
bic In his month, joined them. After few
suitable and impressive ranarks upon the
weather, in which each one contributed some,
thing. and heartily concurred with what had
already been advanced, the subject OF the
khidehluv Mission was brought up, and the
conversation soon became quite animated on tho
mart of the clergyman and two deacons and the
fmale Khidghgluv, while MIR. and Mrs. Plas
tpr attentiyeiy listened Mr. Plaster was sit
,;np on a mohai1 cushioned chair, sitting on
the very edge, SO as not to lDjure 1t, and was
staring 10 mild and forgiviug manner at the
Iady, when he suddenly experienced tickling
sensation within his nostril, and, wrinkliDg his
nose to prevent it, he broke out IN q gurg-
ling noise, and the next instant his eyes
pro,ruded, he bounded from the chair, threw
bis arms in the air, and dropped down
on The floor and Immediately went rolling and
kicking under the centre table, upsettlng that
article and strewing the floor with bound books.
visiting cards and wax flowers. Then he rolled
over aud reared up, and pounded his heels, and
turned black in the face. and worked his hands
and threw his arms The people were terribly
frightened. Mrs. Plaster and the member Of
the Kbdghluv Mission screamed and wruDg
their hands, and tried to get out of the door.
One of the deacons got behind the stove, and
the minister, who had no doubt it was case of
bydrophobia, shrieked above the din, Don't
be frightened, ladies Heaven will protect US,
and Immediately crawled under the sofa. The
other deacon was the only one to retain his pres
ence Of mind He thought it was tit, and
catching the unfortunate Plaster by the slack
of the neither garment, as he evoluted about,
he held him down, and rubbed the back OF his
head with an album. Then he called the other
deacon to help him, and both of them fell to
rubbing the miserable man, and pounding his
breast. aud shaking bis head, and in the mean
time Mrs. Plaster got pail OF water, ana
poured it on his head and down his back. And
in the midst of these extraordinary exertloDs
the pebble came up, and rolled on the carpet,
without being perceived, bu. MIR. Plaster was
too weak to tell them. Then the two deacoDs
picked him up, and carried him to his bed, and
took off his clothes, and the clergyman started
after all the doctors he knew the names of, Mrs.
Plaster heated water, and the female khid-
ghluyer spread mustard plasters and prepared
onion draughts, and ten minutes later
the wretched patient was steaming 10 blanket
and smarting under the combined effects of the
mustard and onious Then the doctors COM
meuced to arrive, and pretty soon there were
seven of them 10 the room, and what they didn't
know about the case would have been wicked
waste Of time hunting up. The first doctor
said it vas something with a name an inch and
lfopg and nine joints. Then the next man
fetched up something with name still longer,
and be vas followed by doctor who had to sit
down to pronounce his At this Mrs. Plaster
lalpteu Oeao away, ana Wnen sne came 10 tue
seven doctors were calling each other names Of
tRel I've sylableS, and the poor lady went off
again. By this time Mr.. Plaster had so far
recovered as to regain his consciousness and
some of his strength, and bounding out OF bed
with no clothing to speak of, other than three
mustard plasters and couple of onion draughts,
he at once put an entirely different aspect on
the condition of affairs. And when Mrs. Pi-
lsster recovered, and when the female member
Of the Khidghluv recovered, which both of
them did when they discovered there was no
one to help them, they found the room emptl
ed and saw Mr. Plaster scrapiog mustard from
his leg and bowling the most dismal language
descrbable. He is better to-day. We under
stand, SO that he Can get around on the street a
little. But he says ninety-Gve tons OF rock
cannot quench his thirst for the blood OF the
man who first suggested that pebble Stone
DonI,,,, No.,