Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-10-06

Susciculture means hog-raising as far
as gentlemen farmers go. The common
farmers are still hog. growers.
A New Orleans homepathist says it
isn't the true Asiatic cholera--only
''pernicious, gastro-intestinal catarrh.''
A DETROIT paper alludes to 1.-The L ex-
tension of the prevailing costumes worn
by ladies'
An Akron woman ran three miles
after a moving passenger train, and then
became obstinate and sat down upon
the track and made all trains stop.
"Why do you set your cup of coffee
on chair, Mr.. Jones ?" said worthy
landlady one morning at breakfast. "It
is so very weak, ma'am, l thought l
would let it rest. .
A man who sent his wife to place
Oh the Jersey coast because he heard
that dumb ague was prevalent there, is
greatly discouraged because she has re-
turned with the chattering kind instead.
An old miser, who was exceedingly
parsimonious, was obliged reluctantly to
consult physician. "What shall do
with my head % asked the man; at
is SO dizzy | seem to see double" The
doctor wrote a prescription and retired,
saying: when you see double you will
find relief if you count your money"
A telegraph operator at Elmira last
month, summoned doctor from Wells
burg, thus; "Come at once to see pro-
cession of Carrie Spencer's Menagerie. .
The message, when repeated read /:
Come at once with prescription-case
Of cerebro spinal meningitis.
That's right Talk about your neigh.
Dor, slander his daughter and defame his
sons, then 60 to church tomorrow and
sleep. You don't need to hear the SER
mon, you know something might be said
to hurt your feelings.
1.-The st. Albans Printing. Binding
and Paper Manufacturing Company, is
what they call the concern which is to
publish the Courier, the new organ Of
the railroad ring at st. Albans, VT. The
Messenger proposes to combat the scheme
by enlarging its paper. and issuing &
morning as well as an evening edition
Lame p cried Mrs. Partington-
''Here | have been suffering the biga
mics of death for three whole weeks
First | was seized with bleeding phre
nology in the left hampshire of the brain
which exceeded by the stoppage of the
left borax, and now / am sick with th,
chloroform morbus. There is no bless
ing like health, particularly when yo,
are Ill. ~
In vigorous chase after rats a bor
broke down a shelf in the cellar and i'm
: molated six jars of preserves. He gaze,
on the ruins without sigh. caught an,
killed the rat, laid it among the debris
and daubing his faithful dogs nose an
legs with the fruit, sent him up stair
!. while the boy hid in the coal shed H
heard feminine shrieks of dismay: b
heard the wrathful objurgations Of hi
J sire; he heard the unsuspecting dog lie
: into he.backyard and shot. and spread
e ing forth his hands, said solemnly
Another victim of circumstantial evi
dence Z"
A colored preacher in st. Augustir
was overheard by a northern lady giyin
to an attentive assembly an account
y the deluge, He closed his fancifull
embellished history as follows IAN
de rain come down in big spouts, ar
come up to de do step of de houses, ar
'giu to cober de fo', and den de sim
be scaret. and knock at de do OBJ de al
: berry hard. And de big lion hear
= racket, and roar, and de dog bark, al
- de OK below. but Noah keep on readi
de Bible. And de sinner say. 'Noa
Noah, let US come in And Noah sa
: Il berry sorry. but can't let you in f
de Lord hab lock de do and trow aw
y de key