davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
Revival" Preachers.
Henry Ward Becchcr, in his Yale

Henry Ward Beechcr, in his Yale
College course of lectures on preach.
ing, has u description OF the "revi'
valist" of the day, which contains
much sound sense rs well as humor;
"Most revivalists that have known
are men with immense bellies and
immense chests and big underheads.
They are men that carry great
deal of personal magnetism with
them; q scnsuous magnetism, too,
and they have a great power of ad-
dressing the undermine; and they
will set feelings undulating like
waves, and will carry men on them.
l do not believe you could preach
with effect to the boatmen and the
gamblers Of Arkansas and to all the
rlff.ratf Of the community, those who
really live down in the cellar of
their heads, unless you brought the
motive Of fear to bear upon them.
If you could in any way bring the
higher feeling in their natures to
act in and of itself upon the lower
ones, there would be regeneration
in that direction.
But, ordinarily, men that work
among those classes are largely OF
the cath, blessed with vigorous cir
culation and great power Of throw
ing out sympathetic influence upon
men, and because they preach large
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
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Tho First Tooth.

From the Danbury News.
Mr.. and Mrs. HARRISON had Just
finished their breakfast. Mr.. Har-
bison had pushed back, and was
looking under the lounge for his
boots. Mrs. II. sat at the table,
holding the infant HARRISON, and
mccanically working her foretinger
in its mouth. Suddenly she paused
in the motion, threw the astonished
child on it's back, turned as white
as a sheet, pried open its mouth,
and Immediately gasped "Eph-
raim!" Mr.. HARRISON, who was on
his knees, with his head under the
lounge, at once came forth, rapping
his head sharply Oh the side Of the
lounge as he did so, aud, getting on
his feet, inquired what was the mat
ter. 80, Ephraim," she said, the
tears rolling down her cheeks and
the smiles coursing up. "Why,
what is it, Armethca?" said the as
tonishcd Mr.. HARRISON, smartly rub
bing his head where it came in con-
tact with the lounge. "Baby-"
she gasped. Mr.. HARRISON turned
pale, and commenced to sweat.
aBaby has-O, o, o, Ephraim! Ba-
by has-baby has got = TOOTH"
"No!" screamed Mr.. HARRISON,
spreading his legs apart, dropping
his chin, and staring at the strug-
Cling heir with all his might. 81
tell You it is," persisted Mrs. H.,
with slight evidence of hystcria.
go, o, it can't be-" protested Mr..
H., preparing to swear if it wasn't.
"Come here and see for YOURSELF"
said Mrs. II. "Open its little mousy
wousy for its own muzzer. That's
a toody woody; that's a bessed little
Jump O sugar" Thus conjured the
heir opened it's mouth sufficiently
for the author Of its being to thrust
in his finger, and that gentleman
having convinced himself by the
most indubitable evidence that
tooth was there, Immediately kick
cd his hat across the room, buried
his fist in the lounge, and declared
with much feeling and vehemence
that he could lick the individual
who would dare to intimate that he
was not the happiest man Oh the
face of the earth. Then he gave
Mrs. H. q hearty smack on the
mouth, and snatched up the heir,
while that lady rushed tremblingly
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
SinEIe-Handsd Baltic with Mad
deaed Texas Steer.

From the Kansas City Times, Oct. a5.
A Spanish bull fight, upon a
small scale, was witnessed yester-
day upon the Kansas Pacific rail
way, at small station called Og-
den. The fight WAS in Il common
cattle car, between Major n. Is.
George, of Kansas City, and a wild
and vicious steer, which had by
some means been g"red and trod-
den down by the stronger animals
in the car.
1t appears that the train loaded
with cattle; belonging to Major
George, had been switched upon
the Ogden side-trlck for the pur-
pose of unloading the cattle, and
thereby saving the lives of several
steers which had lain down and
were unable, owing to the crowed
state o. the car, to arise. All of the
cattle had been relieved except one,
large bony "coaster" from the Rio
Gran4e, which retased to get up.
Major George resor,ed to the dro-
vcr's never failing remedy i'll such
cases, "tail twisting" He made
several hard twists upon the ami
mails tail, when suddenly, before
the Major could escape the danger.
the cnraged and II" doubt insulted
animal was upon him, goring and
dashing at him in frenzied madness.
The first lunge made by the animal
caught Major Georges nostril upon
its horn and tore it up, the horn al
SO inhicting serious wound upon
his eyebrow. The animal was max
ing desperate lunges to gore it's tor
mentor when ne caught it by the
horns and was tossed over the car
like straw. Prompt assistance
was fortunately rendered and the
cnraged long-horn was beaten to
the tathe: end of the car. Major
George was backing out Of the car,
glad to escape, when the brute
made a last desperate attempt to
vent it's fury upon him. The steer
made a rapid dash at him just as he
reached the door, and caught him
between its horns, and raising him
up threw him over the fence and
the cattle chute. Major George sus-
taincd some painful thou.h not SER
ious injuries, and beyond a slight
Disagreement will soon be as sound
as ever
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
The Reformed Gambler.
From the San Francisco Chronicle.

From the San Francisco Chronicle.
Once upon time there came to
Pokerville a genius of the stripe
commonly known rs the reformed
gambler.
Now, rs the Pokervillians had no
other amusement than playing poker
or scvcn-up, when it became gener-
ally known that an individual was
coming that way whose avowed pur-
pose was the demolition of those
popular institutions, and conse-
quently the destruction Of the town,
through the annihilation of the very
"industry" upon which its existence
depended, there arose a great cx-
citemcnt, and preparations were
made to give him warm reception.
A meeting was held, at which the
people attended in mass, and the
prospect for the new light of reform
was anything but encouraging.
Notwithstanding all this-or, per-
haps, because thereof-the hall
which had been engaged for the lee
ture was crowded with an expcctant
throng, who had gone there with
the express purpose of mobbing the
exponent of unsavory truths.
Among the assembled wisdom
was the head deacon of Pokervillc,
who never played cards except for
"fun with a nominal stake, Just to
make it interesting, You know),"
and who had such rooted antipa-
thy for card-playing in general that
he never had conjunction against
skinning any one Of 'em when it. did
so happen that he was induced to
take hand.
The speaker stepped upon the
rostrum, punctnal to the moment,
dressed in an ordinary suit Of pep
per-and-salt mixture, with short,
stubby hair, and very red nose.
In proceeding to his lecture he
threw down upon the table pack
of ordinary playing cards, and de-
liberately rolled up his sleeves and
spit'on his hands, at which demon
stration curiosity SO far got the bet
ter of Indignation that the murmur-
ing and scraping of feet subsidized,
and the lecturer knew, by the gen
eral craning OF necks and the firm
ness with which each listener
clenched in his teeth his individual
"chaw" of tobacco, that he got 'em
where he wanted 'em.
The proceedings were opened by
"pra'r" by the deacon, and to
hear the "amens" and the go,
Lordsr' which gurgled from the
stomachs of the listeners one would
have supposed prayer-meeliny
was in progress; but this is ,he way
they always did in Pokerville.
The lecturer went right into the
bowels of his subject. lie traced
the origin of cards back TO the ia
thcr of sin, and said that the first
victim of the pasteboard was Esau,
who gamblcd on his patrimony at
the game Of euchre, and who was
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
One Woman Who Got Sick OF a Ru3

From MIS- Barnham's last fashion letter.
The EXTREMIST phase of the fash
ionable Scant effect was reached
Sunday by a lady who walked W
Fifth Avenue in a navy blue camel's
hair dress. Not 4 pucker or 4 visi.
BILE seam, or 4 particle of trimming,
broke up the beautiful surface OF
that woman. She was one unbcnd-
Ing level, and how she got in that
straight jacket of . dress | couldn't
imagine till | took Il q rear view OF
her, and found she was buttoned up
behind from neck to hem. Two
unobstrusivc box plcats lurked in a
shy way each side Of the opening:
otherwise that garment looked like
bloatcd pantaloon leg. And walk
wei! she couldn't walk very well
anu in case of fire that woman would
be fried in her own fat. You sec
economy must begin somewhere.
Ii cloth is used for the ruffs why the
skirts will suffer, and mercy knows
what is required for the big silk
fences built up about the female
head just now. being one OF the
short-neck-never-quiet kind, can't
wear these at all.
These ruffs come now IN all colors
ready made, and ont Of respect to
the donor l mounted one of these
affairs with my usual recklessness.
This particular one was very high,
had buckram, hair-cloth, spiral
springs and q wire round the top,
1t obstructcd my view each side,
but it was fashionable, and should
wear blinders, l suppose, if it was
"the s.yle." With much difficulty
4 hat was pursuaded to ride on top
Of this ruff, and out l sailed. Turn
ing the first corner my head went
round in advance of the rest of me
and nearly sawed off my inside
ear. Meeting a friend l nodded ia
miliarly and brought up with my
nose gushcd. Pretty soon after my
back hair got hitched at the rear
and felt like little boy hanging
over garden fence with a nail in
the seat of his trowsers. SO The
next time / met friend l cut hel
dead and desperately marched on,
looking neither to the right or left.
went home and applied bread
and milk poultice to my sacrificed
neck, and Griswold's salve to my
ear, and a wet rag to my nose, and
sat down on that ruff and mashed it
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
Il Crushing Blow.

"Last evening"" relates the New
Orleans Herald, "while the chief
engineer Of lung tester was expa-
tialing upon the benefits to be dcri-
we'd from the free use Of his instru.
ments cadaverous individual step
ped out of the crowd and addressed
to him: sinister do you think it
would help me any to blow into
that CAM" Yes sir, certainly; it
would expand your chest, give elias
ticity to your lungs, and lengthcn
your life Why you'd soon be able
to blow 500 pounds and win the IS
prize why, does a fellow get IS
when he blows 500 pounds?' 'Yes,
wouldn't you like to make q trial?'
L don't care if l do said Greens,
walking around and planking down
dime Of the greasy shin-plaster
sort, and then taking the mouth
piece in his hand, made ready. IIo
opened his mouth until the hole in
his face looked like dry dock for
ocean steamers, and began to take
in wind. The imitation was like
that of the Daily Graphic balloon,
but not so disastrous. The follows
chest began to grow and distend
until it rcsembled pouter-pigeon
more than man, at which point he
put the month-piece to his lips, and
blew with such force that his eyes
came out and stood around his cheek
bones to see what was the mat
ter. But that can-top went up like
a flash, and the needle of that indi-
Gator flew around like button on q
country school house door, until it
stood still at 500 pounds! The
crowd cheered and the keeper Of
the can paid over IS in stamps with
a muttcr of astonishment. But
Greens pocketing them coolly said,
Look here, gents, that amt moth
ing to do at all for man who has
been bugler in deaf and dumb
asylum for seven years like me!'
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
Josh Billings Expsriencc With La.
ger Eeer.

| hav finally cum to the conklu-
shun that beer as beverage is
not intoxicating.
I hav been told so by German
who SAID he had drunk it all night
long, just to try the experiment, and
was obliged to go home entirely
sober in the morning. l have seen
this same man drink eighteen
glasses, aud if he was drunk, he
was drunk in German, and nobody
could understand it. 1t is proper
enough to state that this man kept
Il lager beer saloon, and could have
no objection in stating what was
not strictly true.
beleve to the full extent Of my
experience that | never drank but
three glasses of lager in my life,
and that made my he'd wist as tho
it was hung on the end of string,
but | was told that il was owing to
my bile being out of place, and |
guess that it was 50, for never
billed over wuss than | did when l
got home that mite. Ny wife thot
| was going to die, and I was afraid
that l shouldn't, tor it seemed as
tho everything | had eaten in my
life was cummin to the surface, and
| believe that if my wife hadn't
pulled off my boots ust as she did,
they would have come laundering
too.
OH; how sick | WIZ! Fourteen
years ago, and | can taste it now.
| never had SO much experience
in so short time.
If any man shud tell me that la
ger beer wuz not intoxicating, shui
believe him; but if he shud tell me
that | wuzn't drunk that mite, but
that my stumick was out Of order,
shud ask him to state in a few
words, jest how a man felt and
acted when he was set up.
If wasn't drunk that mite, | had
some ov the most natural slmtums
that man ever had and kept so
| Der.
In the first place, it was about
eighty rods from where | drank the
lager beer to mi house, and | wuz
Jest two hours on the road, and had
4 hole bursted through each one ov
my pantaloon neez, and didn't have
eny hat, and tried to open the door
by the bell-pull. and hiccupped
awfully, and saw everything in the
room tryin. to get round on the
back side ov me, and in sitting
down on a chair, and did not wait
long cnutf for it to get exactly un'
der me when it wuz going round,
and | set down little too soon and
missed the chair about twelve
inches, and couldn't get up soon
enough to take the next one that
come along; and that amt awl: mi
wife said was as drunk as beast.
Iflager beer is not intoxicating it
used me most almighty mean, that
/ know.
Still l hardly think that lager
beer is intoxicating, forI have been
told so; and l am probably the
only living man who ever drunk
emmy when his liver was not plumb.
| don't want to say anything
against harmless temperance bev'
erage, but if l ever drink emmy
more, it will be with mi hands tied
behind me and mi mouth Eried
open.
l don't think lager beer is intoxi.
eating, but if l remember rite, |
think it tastes to me like a glass OF
soap suds that had a pickle put tew
soak in.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
THE KNIGHTLY NEWSBOY
BY DOESTICKs.

BY DOESTICKS.
It was drear and stormy night,
And the rain in streams came down,
Willie hundreds of soaked and wretched folk
Were hnrrying to Brooklyn town,
And a piping voice at the ferry fence
Cried shrilly out, "Extry, two cents'
II was little newsboy chap
Puny and weak and wee,
Not bigger than pint OF beer,
So very small was he.
Yet al the ferry gate he stood,
To earn his bread rs best he could.
He wore no vest, no shoes, no hat
The scantiest hit of shirt
The only coat this waif could boast
Was heavy coat OF dirt.
Yet even in this crowd SO dcncc
His cry was heard "EXtry, two cents!"
The homeward- going crowd grew less,
And less disposed to buy;
Yet still to sell his printed wares
The child cased not to try
"EXtry, twa cents! !" in tearfIl tones
Still sohbcd along the terry.
"Duni give it ups passer said,
"Iou bet won't. sir, nary"
E'en.:- he spoke, DER cheeks so brown
The ready tears came rolling down.
Oh, then mp stepped bigger boy.
..Spikey," of thirteen years,
Who gave but glance AZ the unsold sheets,
And knew the cause OF tears.
"COme, come. little Jacky, mustn't cry;
You shan't get stuck, for we both will try"
Up stepped good Samaritan,
OF the modern Brooklyn breed:
"Come, tell me, thou newsboy bold,
Has Jacky such urgent need!
For, be it so, this deed Of thine
Is worthy of knights of olden time.''
Yes Jacky has sisters two or three,
An his mothers widdcr, yer honor.
Or us good as such-her man gets drunk,
And he always puts head on her.
So each of the children. old and young,
Must earn a few pennies to help along"
Then the Brooklynite 10 his friends so gay
Cried: Come to me and see
How much great good small cash may do;
Now buy those extras of me.
For each with a ten-cent stamp yOn must part,
To send little Jacky home joyous of heart
Little Jacky came up, with tears running down.
A few simple words to say
Il thank you, gentlemen, every one,
For these ere stamps to-day.
I'll take 'em to mother and sis,
An they'll always pray for you for this
For sis tho she's humpbacked an not very gay,
Is heavy, the ministers say, on the pray
Now. these boys kept up their sobs and tears
Till their friends had crossed the ferry,
When they changed them 10 laughter and ieers,
And were most uncommonly merry.
And they kicked up their heels in widest jigs,
Which they'd learned, fear, from the minstrel
nigs.
Little Jack, the tears sill running down,
Though fear they were not of sorrow.
Cried. "Spikey, didn't do it bul!ee!
But I'll 90 ii better tomorrow.
How they swallowed mother and sisters three,
Ann their eyes stopped over at poor little me-"
Yer done it big" said Spikey the bold,
"And Il jolly good lark it is,
And we'll try il on every day in the week
Till somebody drops on the biz.
An to night, my boys, wei 90 an see
The bully new play at the Old BoweFee.
An. Jack, while the fats do bite so sharp
As we've seen 'em do tonight,
Wen have good show for plenty Of stamps,
If we play our little game right
Plenty of coffee and cakes dye see,
An alters the cash for the Old BoweTte."
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14

so dead broke in consequence that
he was glad to accept of free-lunch
ut the hands of the victor. He was
down on cards Of all kinds, as i
general principle, and he had asccr'
tanned that the ncw-tanglcd postal
cards were only devised as IN in
atrument of offensive warfare in the
hands of duns, ie WIS down on
| them. too.
But first he wished to explain to
his audience the means by whicl,
so many were skinned of their little
piles, and WAS willing to bet that
there wasn't Il man in the room that
he couldn't beat, no matter what
the odds might be against him.
There was n general crowdin9
forward toward the rostrum, and
pretty soon the table was heapcd
with the money of betters. Trick
after trick was then explained, but
somehow, although everybody "saw
it," no money was seen to return
to the pockets Of those who ventnred
it. On seeing their cash disappear
at the end of each fresh experiment,
they would scratch their heads as
ifin ONE pe'p'exity, and then 60
over to hold y conference with the
deacon.
The hour of his departure having
at last arrived the great retormer
took up his hat, stuffed his "Iecture''
into his pocket, and was about to
leave, when the deacon rose to his
feet and requested the indulgence
of the lecturer, as he had "a few
words to offer"
Although most of the folks here
present, che said, "appear to con
slider they've got their moneys
worth, amt quite satisfied myself
and, though | am dead set against
gamblin', | wouldn't mind enterin'
INTO Il trial of skill with my trien!
here, and if Pm beat it may be con-
cludcd that the knights of the paste
board are done in Porkerville.
The great reformer being ready
to accommodate, the two sat down
at opposite ends Of the table, the
crowd gathered around, and for
some moments nothing was to be
heard but the humping of the del-
cons fist and the scratching sound
of his fingers rs he raked in the
cash.
The great rclormer began to look
Sickly, and when he got up again
to leave it was observed that his
features did not wear that pleasant
smile which had overspread them
at the earlier stage Of the evening.
"Now Deacon" said one of the
original sufferers, "there's about
twenty of US in for it, and ] guess
you may as well divide up"
"In that casc," said the deacon.
'ssthe force of this great moral lesson
would be utterly lost" "The Lord
give,h and the Lord takcth away
''Let us pray"
Since then it is dangerous for a
grecnhorn to pass through Poker
Vile.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14
The Highest Building IN IOWA.

From the Palo Alto Patriot.
The great central divide and
highest water shed in Iowa is situa-
ted within the limits Of Dickinson
county; the top of the highest peaks
have an elevation of nearly 1000
feet above the ea.level. The dry,
raritied atmosphere which blows
over the elevated plateau, and its
freedom from all malarious and
lung diseases, entitlc it to a consid-
Grafton not enjoyed by lands of a
lower elevation. About eight miles
nearly west of Estherville, and d.
rcc,ly on the summit of the highest
dome, is where the highest resi-
dcncc is situated. Those travelling
icebcrgs from the north, that scour-
ed the face Of Iowa many thousand
years age, were undoubtedly EN-
ployed by nature to smooth its sur
face on gigantic scale, but they
did not rasp down this remarkable
summit, for it shoots up many feet
above the surrounding table. The
residence and its peculiar location
reflects credit on the intelligence of
its builder, for it forms remarkable
coincidence in the history of Iowa.
The rain which falls on the eastern
side OF its roof finds u channel
through School Section Greek
thence along the laughing Des
Moines river to the Mississippi,
while that which pours on the other
side goes westward into the Little
Sioux, and steals along Indian Lake
into the turbid Missouri. Nature
did not exhaust all her rare and
beautiful forces when she formed
the renowned Yosemite Valley in
California, or the wonderful Alpine
chain Of mountains in Switzerland.
Being situated on the roof of the
building, y magnificent panoramic
landscape is opened to view, sight
to expand and elevate the soul. 100
miles square of prairie, over twenty
beautiful villages, numerous rivers,
interspersed with groves, buildings.
cultivated farms in all directions,
are some of the objects to be seen
with one swoop of the eye.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-14

ly to the under class, men who arc
moved by conscience and by moth
ing else, they preach these acerh
and terrific doctrines, and preach
them with all the imagery that has
come down to us from the medieval
times, with hoois and horns, and all
manner of exaggerated statements.
| have heard revivalist in my pul.
pit make statements to my cougrc
CATION that, if | believed them to
be true, would make me abandon
the Christian ministry was going
to say, abandon decent society and
:orswear my race! lie stood there
and afterward, when | was with
him, he appeared to have no com
punction-and he began with this
declaration, that the mind was
capable Of infinite development and
increase Of capacity.
Well, that is pure supposition to
start with. But, assuming that, he
went on to say that it would go on
increasing forever in power ol
thought, and power of susceptible.
ty, and power of enjoyment, and
power of suffering. That being
granted, lie went on to say that il
men ever went to hell they will in.
crease forever and ever; and when
he came to the application, it was
this: Il have no doubt said he,
and his great white eye gIistencd
rs he rolled it around the audience,
that there are men sitting by me
who will by and by be in hell, and
will have grown and grown and
grown in the power of suffering
until they have reached point at
which they will suffer more in a
single minute than all that suffering
of the damned from the beginning
of creation to the present hour
There was his logical inference:
and then he multiplied it and wen,
on, saying that there would be mul.
titudes and multitudes of them
there, while the angels were sing
ing glory to God, and while God
was looking over into the pit and
seeing that terrific scene, enjoying
himself, he wanted me to believe
that, and then worship God. Now,
where you deal with men in commn.
mites in that way, it is you who
are to blame, the reactions are some
times very terrific in revivals."