American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-01-18
A Housekeeping Machine.

If it is possible for man to invent a cal
culating machine, it would seem not to be
beyond the range of possibility that he
should invent housekeeping machine.
You stand by a printing-press, ana see
the iron-fingered giant catch up his blank
sheet of paper, spreadit in place, print it
full of news, pick it up and send it of
again, thousands upon thousands, and be
just as strong and fresh at the end as he
was at the beginning. Have L seen or
only dreamed of a type-setting machine,
which goes so far as to spell out the word
with iron letters and set it in its appointed
place? Think of the Paradise of Peace to
which we would be suddenly transferred,
could we rise in the morning, strap belt
around a wheel, build fire under boil
er, and Immediately an irOn-hearted ard
iron-handed creature, a patent time-and-
temper-saver, puts on the coffee-pot, beats
the eggs, broils the steak, losses the
omelet, and toasts the bread. Slip on an
other belt and the plates clatter out of the
closet and the table begins to be set. An
other little cog-wheel is started, and the
carpet-sweeper appears on the scene, and
dust disappears before it. Beds are made,
furniture arranged, rooms aired, the fire
goes out under the boiler, the belt slips off
the wheel, the wheel ceases buZZing, the
machinery is standing and silent. till din
ner requires its readjustment. 1t has no
social nature to crafty. 1t wants only
moderate and s'stated SUPPLY of fire and
water, a specific, limited, and comfortable
tending. It's never out of humor, has no
poor relations with ever-yearning hearts
for sugar and butter and flour; is never
deceitful, or uncOurteous, wants no Sum
days out and no cousins in. 1t does in
deed cost something, but the cost of our
present housekeeping machine is not I'M
appreciable. You pay Nora, let us say
three dollars week. and her keepingls
three dollars more. Three hundred dol
lars a year is not an Overestimate of her
cost, even when she is honest and careful.
When she Is dishonest and reckless, her
cost is illimitable. Nothing short of spher-
zeal trigonometry and the ditferential
calculus is equal to graphing with it. But
three hundred dollars is the interest of
five thousand dollars at six per cent. per
annum, so that every household which
now ''keeps a grip can afford to buy
run it at profit. For though it must
make mistakes and be out of repair, it has
times and seasons, and its variations may
be counted on, and guarded against. Bah
bage's calculating machine reckOns accu-
rately up to certain point; then it fall
tiers, is corrected !, and runs again an equal
time. with equal accuracy. So our house
keeping machine, having cooked. and
swept, and washed for month, with I'M
erring thOroughness. will tomorrow wash
the china with the floor-cloth, and scrub
the floor with the best napkins but fore
warned is forearmed, and when the day of
deviation comes, you have only to stand
by ''the very pulse of the machine" to see
that its temporary alteration of mind
bring on no serious disaster. Where now
is the man who would make his fortune,
win undying fame, be hailed as the Great
Benefactor of the family, the friend of all
wOmankind? Where is the woman who
will vindicate her sex and confound her
enemies by becoming the Inventor of the
Greatest Wonder of the World Gail
Hamilton in Woods Household Magazine.