davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
The VYit Of Josh Billings.

The following chunks of wit anc
wisdom are from Josh Billings AL
minax, for 1878:
The intimacy ov old age seems tew
kensist in drinking yung hison tes
together, and comparing gouts and
rrmatisms.
One ov the most reliable prophets
I kno ov is an old hen, for they don't
prophecy emmy eggs until after the
egg has happened.
| kno ov folks who are 80 kondem
kontrary, that if they should fall in
to airiyer, they would want to float
up stream.
Take all the phools and good LUX
out ov this world, and it would both
er the rest Of US tew get a living.
Thare IL az much difference be-
tween witsanh hunor az tharc il he
tween the lie and essence Of pepper
mint.
Ridicule that amt true haz no
particular power.
A phool's money IL like his branes
very uneazy.
Thare IL this difference between a
Jest and a joke-a jest may be kruel,
but joke never IL.
Human knowledge IL not very ko,n-
prehensiv after ALI have seen men
who kould kalkulate an eclipse tcw q,
square inch, who kouldn't come with.
in so foot of harnessing a ho<s.
Flattery IL like ice krealu, We wait
it q leetle at time and often.
When a man measures ont glory
for himself he alwuz heaps the l.ti
bushcl.
don't know as want tew be; rl.-
ny money. and give odds, ON III. II. II
who IL alwuz anxious tew lra out
loud every chance he kan git.
A reputashun for happiness wants
az much looking into aza reputasln'n
Tor honesty.
When man duz y good turn inst
for the phun of the thing, he haz got
a great dexl more vii tew in him tl,n
he IL aware ov.
Next tew the man who IL worth
millyun, in point ov wealth. IL the
man who don't kare kuss for it.
Self-made men are most alwuz apt
tew be leetle tew proud ov the job.
Silence IL one ov the lost arts.
When a man gets tew talkin about
himself he sel,lum fails tew be elo-
quent, and frequently reaches the
sublime.
Most people prefer the stufing to
the goose-the word for the idee.
Sukcess is cutie often like falling
oph from log, a man kant alwuz
tell how he KUN 70 do it.
Heaven il ever kind tew us, she
pnts our humps on our backs 80 that
we kant see them.
It IL the surprizes ov life after all
that give it its zest-even rat makes
things interesting bi the natral sud
denness with which he Gums out or
goes into hiz hole.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

"IF You Know ANY JUST CAUSE" "
The Napsnee, Connecticut Beaver
r.lates the following story:
A joke, altogether too good to be
lost for want of telling, occurred in
the Methodist Church, in a village
not ten miles from Napanee, a few
months ago. The minister, after the
service, published the bands of q mar.
riage between a loving and interest
ing couple; and when that portion
Of the form where the words "if you
know any just cause, &C., came in,
the minister, whether from any pre-
viousknowlellgso rppt locked @ straight
at a young iganflenisa directly at Che
footeef the pulpit, This gentlensn,
thinking he was personally alluded
to, immediately rose up, amid the
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
Lavenaer Brides.

Eli Perkins is on the wing. lie
stopped at Homer the other morning
for breakfast, and had the good for
tune to meet quartette bridal party,
Of which he thus discourses.
This morning at the Syracuse
House, breakfasted with pair OF
brides and pair of bridegrooms--a
sort of bridal quartette. They were
from Courtland, 1 think, in the coun-
try. I knew they were just married
for variety of reasons. First, when
they alighted from the omnibus to
enter the hotel, both young ladi.s
took the arms of the gentlemen, who
said, dear, let me carry your satch-
Ell for you
Just behind them came some old
married people. I knew they had
been married for some time, for the
men pounced out, starting, luggage
in hand, straight for the hotel, leav-
ing their wives with small satchels to
follow, single behind them.
At breakfast the brides appeared
in bridal lavender. Everything was
layender--lavender dresses, lavender
hats with lavender strings, and law
ender gloves-if ever get married
Mrs. Perkins shall wear Gf she pleas
esq suit of plain black, and then
we can enjoy our honeymoon i. peace.
The young husbands both wore broad
cloth suits with black hats. Both
wore paper collars and cuffs. and one
wore paper shirt bosom. Alas
what q shock such deception must be
to,a young and guileless wife Why,
in my opinion. paper collar is no
more indication of real shirt than
a clothes line.
At breakfast these young husbands
didn't help themselves first when
they sat down at the table, but they
turned to the brides in lavender and
said lovingly, Have roll, dear p
Then they put some butter on the
brides plates, and they looked up
and said, "Thank you, DEAR" with
smile too happy to describe. When
breakfast was over one Of tie young
husbands smiled sweetly and he said:
Now, darling, can't I smoke just
once; you know you aid I might" :"
"Yes, Charley, just once" And
then the two brides stood aid looked
vacantly out of the windows until
their sweethearts came back.
When the old married people sat
down there was different scene.
The old fellows acooped in their beef
steaks and sausages, never looking up
to see how their wives were getting
along, and when they got through
they shuMed into the reading room
and loaded up meerschaam pipes
with the strongest cavendish. They
then talked politics, expectorating on
the stove and around the zinc stove
mat without once thinking Of their
poor wives who were left to amuse
themselves with neighborhood gossip.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

laughter Of the congregation, and ex-
claimed, "Oh, no; not the slightest
objection, sir" -
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

II pleasure gratitude that the continuation Of
firm at the we'll known stand.
GENERAL GROCERY and COMMISSION BUSINESS will be
red on with increased facilities ' ~ -, -. - - -. -
We have hand receiving larger Stock Choice Fam
Provisions have offered to the
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
AFTER ALL, =


I'm sometimes puzzled which I most adj
mire;
sBelinds's wealth of lovely golden hair,
Letitia's Jet black eyes Of sparkling fire,
Or bright Matilda's skin so dazzling
fair;
My little Flo loves me, and 1 love her.
My fancy now and then is led astray
By Lucy's graceful shape and slender
By Millv's dainty feet I'm drawn away,
Or half beguiled by Dora's tact and
taste.
But, after all,
My htGlsFlo' loves me, and love her.
When steadily think of her I'm safe ;
My heart its royal constancy AYERS;
I'm not % tickle wandering stray or waif
pm prnof against all charms but hers ;
But, after all,
lovenay little Flo, and she loves me.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

Augusta, Dec. 24
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

fu,s we also nave
ss ~ seed Rye, Barley, Wheat and Oats ,s.s t
All kinds OF COUNTRY PRODUCE sold srI ~7a
Our Mr. W. Howard will beat Egefeld every Sale day = m 80
MILLER, HACK g. HOWARD
Augusta Ga Sept Is ~ t.h@ .t. fn 40
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
Doing Good TO. Others.

"When the Son of man shall come
in his glory, and all the holy angels
with him, then shall he sit upon the
throne of his glory; and before him
shall be gathered all nations and he
shall separate them one from another,
as shepherd divideth his sheep
from the goats; and he shall set the
sheep on his right hand, but the goats
on the left. Then shall the King say
unto them on his right hand, Come
ye blessed of my Father, inherit the
kingdom prepared for you from the
foundation of the world. For I was
an hungered, and ye gave me meat
I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink;
l was stranger. and ye took me in
naked, and ye clothed me; [ was
sick, and ye visited me; was in
prison. and ye came unto me.
It is very evident from the above
Scripture that doing good to others
is the sum and substance of the Chris
tians life. Selfshness had no part
in the teachings Of Jesus, and We only
draw near to him when we 60 out Of
ourselves in bene6tting others. Self
sacrifice is divine principle, held in
high esteem by right-thinking men
yet pre-eminently more so in the view
of God, and he never fails to set his
seal Of approval to the acts Of self
sacrifice in upright souls. Human
nature finds it difficult to practice
self-denial, because all its bents and
inclinations are for indulgence, and
it is only when the divine operates
etfectually in subduing the human,
that it becomes easy and delightful.
Souls thus brought under the power
of grace are the bappiest of all souls,
because there is nothing swseter than
this law of self-forgetfulness, when
one is fully brought under its sway.
Let US all remember the words Of
Christ, and square our lives accord
ingly, that we may stand on that
fright hand" where concentrations
for well-spent lives shall be given.
WHY He LEFT.-Mr. Dickson, a
colored barber in one of our New
England towns, was shaving one of
his customers, respectable citizen,
one morning, when conversation
occurred between the two, respecting
Mr.. Dickson 8 former connection with
the colored church in that place:
81 believe you are connected with
the church in Elm street, Mr.. Dick
son" said the customer. .
/" No, sab, not ALL"
"Why, are you not member of
the African church,"
"Not dis year, sab"
Why did you leave that COM
Mr.. Dickson, if l may be
permitted to ask 2
why, | tell von, >ah.' said Mr..
Dickson, stropping a concave razor
on the palm OF his hand. 1t was
Jess like dis jined that church in
good faith. l glib ten dollars toward
the stated preachin' OBJ de gospel de
fust year, and de people call me
BruGder Dickson. De second year
my business was not berry good. and
l only glib FIVE dollars. Dat year de
church people call Inc Mr.. Dickson
Dis razor hurt von. sab -
No. sir, II goes tolerably we'll"
4" ell, sab, de ;Aird year | feel be,y
.ocr-sickness IN my iamilv-tnd l
-!ib nothing lori .reacl.in Well. sab,
liter '!at, ':,y call a;e old Niger
D.cE~"n :n LIT EN-.
50 >.yir;.. NJ. Dickson hru>lr d
his customer il ~, " hn Was we'll sat-
sid with ;r re"~p:i why Mr.. Dick
son LEFT til e l.1,r,h.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
,. MANHOOD: r..
How Lost, How Restored.

YUST published, anew edition OF DE-
u Culverwelps Celebrated Essay on
the radical cure (without medicinel OF
SPERAfAToRRHGA or IMPoTENCY. Men
tai and Physical incapacity. 1mped1ments
to Marriage, etc; also, CoNsUMPTioN,
EPILEPSY and FITS, induced by seit-in-
diligence or sexual extravaganza.
@sr Price, in sealed envelope. only
@ cents. -
The celebrated author, in this admira.
BILE essay, clearly demonstrates from
thirty years successful practice, that the
alarming consequences of self f-ab9se may
he radically cured without the dangerous
use of internal medicine or the applica-
tion of the knife; pointing out q mode
of cure at once simple, certain, ana ell
-fectuaI.. by means Of which every SUI
feror. no matter what his condition max
be. NAV cure himself cheaply, privately,
and ,,oS;roIIu. ,f5d a4 fHt-fti 80 i'!ts v
- me~ This Tectureshould be In the hands
of every youth and every man in the
..sentsunder seal, in plain envelope,
to any address, postpaid on receipt Of six
cents, or two post stamps. ~
r Also, DR.. fCulverwelPs Marriage
Guide,'' price 80 coIlts. .s.r, ~. ~
{, Addre-ss thefP Publishers, ss.4I ~
CHAS. J. c. KLINE & CO, =,
.....- ,,,5 ,I21 Bowery, New York,
,ti,s. e'i.. .. Post Office Box, 4,5s6.,
Oct. % .1y. ,J',.,,,;-. "A
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
Home Shuttle Sewing Machine.
ONLY S25.OO.

Il HIS Is a. SHUTTLE MACHINE. has
the UNDER FEED, and makes the CLOCK
STITCH" alike on both sides.
It is standard First Class Machine,
and the only low priced "Lock Stitch"
Machine in the United States.
This Machine received the Diploma at
the Fair of the two Carolinas, in the city
of Charlotte, N. c., in 1871. The above
Machine is warranted for tspe years!
A HlNE FOR NOTHING.
Any person making up Club for five
Machines, will be presented the Sixth
one az commission. j.
Agents Wanted.--Superior induce
ments offered. Liberal deductions made
to Ministers Of the Gospel.
Send Stamp for Circular, and samples
of Sewing. Address Rev. c. H. BERN
HEM, General Agent, Concord, N. O.
Dec4 ~ 6O
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16
NOTICE F!

|zALI. parties indebted to Nj. ODOWD
p& co., or to me individually, are re-
auesteJi to come forward and settle i'm
mediately. No. -
Augusta, Dee, n II
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-01-16

mo Tar useD Tor outside work and insile instead Of
plaster. Fell carpeiing. &c. Send stamps Tor cir
cuIar and samples c. j. FAY, Camden. Nd.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23
THE rEmPEnAsoE QUESTION.

A writer in the Weatherford signet Of
October 10, takes up our article of the sec
ond Of October, headed ga Temperance
Politician, and complains both OF its sub
stance and style, but in a manner more dig
nifed and moderate than the conceited edi-
for of the so called temperance organ. We
are therefore disposed to give him some at
tention, and to explain to him the ground
we occupy on the Temperance question. 1t
may not be in accordance with his own
opinions, indeed, it is evidently not, from
the tenor and tone of his structures. We
are not opposed to temperance or to temper
ance organizations, which keep clear of poll
tics, but we are opposed, as is the Demo
cratic party of this State-if we arc to judge
from its platform, unanimously adopted by
the largest convention ever held in this
State-to any political temperance party,
or any interference by law with the
''social habits" of any of our people
winch do not interfere with the rights of
others. We stand on the Democratic plat
form and we felt bound to defend it, when
we saw it assaulted by the Weatherford Sig
net That editor distinctly made the threat
that, If the Democratic parry adhered to the
doctrines of the platform on the subject of
temperance, the whole strength of the tenn
perance people should be thrown against it.
This was not the first time that the editor
of the Sigaet had shown disposition to
make temperance political question. Last
year he attempted the same thing, and we
Justly rebuked him, and he crawfshed out
of it, as he is attempting to do now. But
can he deny his threat2 There it stands.
1t speaks for itself. If it does not mean
entering into politics, what does it meanl
If the writer in the Signet was true Demo
crat, as he nowhere asserts that he is, he
would feel as we felt and now feel on this sub
ject. Hewould deprecate the establishment
of temperance party in this State, not only
for its interference with the Democratic
party, but for the cause of temperance
itself But we believe neither the writer
nor the editor of the Sigaet is a Democrat,
but secretly Radicals in their feelings and
purposes, or they would not thus attack
the Democratic platform. AS to our style
in reference to the editor of the Signe, we
have this to say, We vary our style according
to the subject we are writing about. We
did not consider the editor of the Signet
entitled to much courtesy or dignity of
treatment from the manner in which he had
acted. The writer in the Signet complains
that we spoke of him as reverend or 9TH
erwise That is it exactly. We doubted
the reverence" and his reply to our article
shows he has got very little if any. The
language is that of BLACKBOARD instead of
reverend gentleman. He has proven
himself just what we supposed him to be,
and thus we leave him, wishing, but not ex-
pecting, an improvement both in his sense
and his manners.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

and printers and various others. These
should all cling together, and no one class
undertake to rule and keep down the ether.
Our Legislature should, If convenient or
possible, have some Of each class in II, and
harmony and not anImosity should prevail.
The interest Of no class should be over
looked or ignored, and there should be no
hostile legislation against either. Can this
position be controversial successfully We
think not. Hence VIC arc opposed TO the
Oranges, as looking to combination Of all
the farmers against other classes, and as
dangerous in their design, and still more so
in their probable execution. We object
too, seriously to their secresy and signs and
pass words, whish are not right in political
associations, and only allowable in associa-
lions Of benevolent character, like the
Masons and Odd Fellows.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

Thcdecision Of the Honey case by a major
ity Of the Supreme Court, as given by Judge
Walker, replaces Honey as Treasurer Of the
State Of Texas, on the ground that there is
no proof Of his having abandoned the Office,
and hence Governor Davis had no right to
appoint another In his place. We believe
the decision IN accordance with the law and
the facts in the case. We have nothing to
say Of Dir. Honey as a public officer He
was elected or declared to be elected by the
Radical party, and the Democracy are not
responsible for his acts, good, bad or indif-
ferent. By the decision of the court he
will be the Treasurer of the State until a
Democrat is elected to take his place. Judge
NcAdoo concurred with Judge Walker in the
decision, but gave a separate statement of
the grounds on which his opinions were
founded, while Judge Ogden gave lengthy
minority opinion.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

mercial secrets across hemisphere. Not
only sO-it bakes and brows, il stitches and
weaves, and through its witty inventions
relieves the drudgery of domestic toll. But
the effect Of all is TO intensity the lust Of
acquisition. until It becomes a supreme pas
sion, which is even ennobled by the splen-
dOrs Of that science with which il is associ-
ated, and by which il is indirectly fed. A
nations glory comes to be placed in its
railroads and factories, its populous cities
and gorgeous palaces, Its extensive COM
merce and accumulated capital An ex-
ternal and material prosperity is made the
measure of national greatness, when the
country may be rotting to Its foundation in
dishonesty and crime; private virtue, the
public faith, even liberty itself, being freely
sacrificed to purchase grandeur and power.
1t would be an immense protection against
these debasing tendencies, If amid the ex-
actions of our new position, we could carry
over those gentlemanly instincts which have
hitherto characterized our people. In en-
ploying this unusual term, do not mean
that dainty mannerism which puts on the
AR, without the quality of the gentleman.
But l refer to that exquisite education of
the conscience which makes duty and be-
nevolence tire habit of the soul; that fas-
tidious honor which cannot, even in thought,
condescend to meanness; that lofty self
respect which will observe the proprieties
and practice the virtues of life, with the
readiness of impulse; that nobleness of
principle which makes it as easy to be brave
and true as it is to breathe; that instinct of
rectitude which shrinks from the false and
the base as from the contamination of the
plague. 1t would be rare combination
this, of courtly honor with the hardness of
toll. But if labor is ennobled when
wrought by the hands of freeman, how
much more when associated with the dig
nifty of the gentleman
Let us guard, then, with the jealousy of
genuine alarm, against that despicable
spirit of utilitarianism which, like 4 buck
sterer in the SHAMELESS, is always haggling
with truth about her price. She is immeas-
urably more precious in herself than in all
the uses to which men may put her. Truth,
integrity and honor are the highest attrib-
utes of any people, and the enjoyment of
regulated freedom, under wise and consti-
tutional government, is its nobest privilege
and Teward.-Pdlmer.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

y BEAUTIFUL PICTURE. On Sunday
morning last, during tho morning services
at the Cathedral, we witnessed most edi-
flying spectacle. Two little children, a lit
tie boy aged about FIVE and q little girl aged
about four, entered the church unattended,
and, hand in hand, walked some distance
up the aisle, when, without seeking to Sc
cure seat, the little pair at once assumed
the attitude of prayer. They were models
of beauty and innocence. During the ser
vice, nothing seemed to distract them-they
kept their eyes reverently fixed upon the
altar, and, though their hands were clasped,
they did not even exchange chances with
each othGr, but behaved in a manner that
many of their seniors would do we'll to imi-
tate. A playful poodle found his way into
the church, and to the place where the little
pair knelt, and doubtless wondering how
those so young could look so serious, he qs-
sayed in vain to divert their attention.
We have said the little pair wero not
distracted; VIC cannot say as much for our
selves, for our thoughts involuntarily turned
to the contemplation of how good must be
the Christian mother under whose guidancC
these little ones were being directed, and
how happy she should be at the good fruits
of her labors in preparing these little one:
for the battle Of life and the struggle for {
happy eternity. San AntoRi0 Herald.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

Col. RICHARD b. HUBBARD will address
the people of Texas on the political issues
of the day at the following times and
places:
Waxahachie, Wednesday, October %.
Corsicana, Thursday, October 23.
Bremond, Friday, October "a
Waco, Saturday, October %.
Bryan, Monday, October 81.
Houston, Tuesday, October %.
Galveston, Thursday, October 30.
Brenham, Saturday, November.
LAGRANGE, Monday, November 3.
Bastrop, Wednesday, November 5.
Rusk, Cherokee CO., Tuesday, Nov is.
Hampstead, Thursday, November 90.
Lockhart, Saturday, November %.
San Marcos, Monday, November "a.
New Braunfels, Wednesday, Nov. 20.
San Antonio, Saturday, November 20.
The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-10-23

THE last illustration of the Journal is the
council of peace at Fort Sill. Governor
Davis is standing on one leg, making war
like speech to Broad Brim, saying that he
would fight to the death before he would
give up Satanta and Big Tree. We pre-
sumo the next illustration will be the In
dians busting for the mountains and the
Governor making long strides for the rail-
road, holding on his hat with both hands,
as if afraid of his scalp. This will make
capital picture.