The New York herald., 1873-12-07
The wouid-Be Martyr, dc Couso.

Church" Some ecstatic minds in all ages
have aspired to suffering for an idea. They
longed to be planted" !" that their bone dust
| and blood might be the manure of their idea,
| if not its actual Seed to seek sunlight in
future ages. This is pleasant for the idea'
| but it is the death Of the man. Life has It's
allurements, and if man can give his cause
the benefit of martyrdom without actually
| suffering it, so much the better for
the man. It involves delusion some
where to accomplish this. Circumstances
beyond the mans control may place
the spurious crown of martyrdom upon
his brow, or he may manufacture it himself.
Unfortunately, circumstances are not to be
trusted, and the man who would have
somewhat felonious level of counterfeiting the
martyrdom. This is sad, when the cause
is as deserving as that Of the brutes
of the Casino Espahol, and when the man
already carries SO many claims, to the
astonishment Of humble humanity, as Don
Jose Ferrer de Couto, Knight Of the Order
of Santiago Commander of the Royal
American Order Of Isabel la Catolica, Knight OF
the Order Of Charles Ill, Honorary Member
of the Mexican Geographical and Statistical
Society, Fellow of the Commission of the
History of Spanish Infantry, of the Royal
Academy of Archaeology and Geography
of Madrid, and High Cockalorum OF
Spanish chivalry generally. This extraor-
dinary creature occupies the unpreten-
tious position of editing Spanish sheet
it, for the Casino Espahol might easily give
its exhaustively titled champion more glorious
occupation than furnishing fun for the Ameri-
can people, who occasionally split their sides
over his lucubrations when the HERALD gives
them circulation. Don Jose Ferrer de Couto sees
the Righteousness of his position as
Knight of the Order of butchers p Santiago
he wishes himself we'll out of it i; as Com
mander of the Royal American Order of Isabel
la Catolca he would get out Of his attic chair
by finding an excuse that would hold water at
Havana; as Knight of the Order of Charles
Ill he thinks of impending martyrdom as
Honorary Member of the Mexican Geograph-
ical and Statistical Society he approves
of the idea and looks about for
chance as Fellow of the Commission
of the History of Spanish Infantry of
the Royal Academy of Archaeology and
Geography of Madrid he writes such
TRADES on America that he thinks we must
be mad to be rid of him; but finding that
nobody will take any notice of him whatever,
he resolves to spread the report that the Pres-
dent has asked somebody to ask his lawbooks
if the High Cockalorum of Spanish chivalry
generally cannot be imprisoned for writing
peppery nonsense at the dictates of his mas
ters. Too bad, too bad That ever q man so
gifted with titular appendages should find
himself in such grievous plight for martyr
dom is sore distressing He feels bad. &c.
indeed, did his illustrious brother Don Quixote
de la Mancha, feel as he sat watching his
rusty armor by night, hoping vainly against
hope that he would be arrested for any thing
but lunacy; SO may veteran 'bummer'
feel who, wanting ten days board and lodg-
ing on the Island shams drunkenness only to
find that the sergeant at the station house
have the restoration of his liberty, accelerated
by the patrolman's boot. A hard world it is
for the homeless vagabond; harder world it
was for the forlorn and crazy Knight of
Cervantes; but who shall say with what
heavy fardel this life of disappointment
weighs upon the unsuccessful aspirant to
spurious martyrdom embodied in that
polyonomous entity, Don Jose Ferrer
de Couto, Knight Of the Order of
Santiago, Commander of the Royal American
Order of Isabel la Catolca, Knight of the
Order of Charles Ill, honorary member
of the Mexican Geographical and Statistical
Society, Fellow of the Commission of the His
tory of Spanish Infantry, of the Royal
Academy of Archaeology and Geography of
Madrid and High Cockalorum of Spanish
chivalry generally? We cannot help sympa-
thizing with him, and we are certain that the
great heart of the American nation will give
him throb Of coincidence. Why, the alliga-
tors of Florida will shed silent crocodile
tears for him if he only breathes to them the
secret of his woe What makes our coincidence
more painful is that we can do nothing to help
him. He is harmless, and he knows it, and we
all know it. He may rave in Spanish, but we
can only smile at that. 1t is too good Joke
to have o real, original champion Of the
Casino in our midst to be angry with him.
We would give him some advice if we knew
to which of his titles we had best address
ourselves. His entire being would take too
long to absorb it. This may account for his
quaint misunderstanding of our institutions,
which led him to think that O threat
of imprisonment would be believed in
America for no other offence than
using ugly words in Spanish. The advice,
however, is to give up oil ideas Of martyrdom
- N.r, vnrL h;p, m IN Hayo no ~