The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-28
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES


The local papers are in heated wrangie over it,
The La Crosse Dea'ocrat says, I'VE don't care
how thew tx il, so they don't brinS on another
war"
They arc pretty strict with school MAINS over
10 Iowa In Cass county the directors require
the lady teachers To bind themselves not 20
TO spark at night with young men during the
term. n
A swede woman, ofst Paul, recently astonish-
I'd the natiyeshy carrying an oil barrel through
the streets on her head. The ladies at first mis-
took it for fashionable bonnet OF some new
slaterial.i rt.. ,|fst
The Haa,d and Wig at Quincy, are wranslins
over which paper furnished the best report Of
the recent editorial convention in that city. The
Herald says:
We printed areport gotten up with some laDor,
which the Wing copies gerbdtan, Ct Hter0taHi, e
pIfctLnt,tn-even TO our compliments TO the
poem and poetess.
II your report was as bad as your Latin, il was
hardly worth Quarreling about
A clumsly. drawn ordinance makes any man
VINO shaves himself in Des Moines Iowa, on
Sunday, liable TO Il fine OF five dollars.
The most narrowing misfortune attending the |
late sickness Of Mrs. Woodruff is said to be, that
lhe spirit of Demothenes has left her. The old
Greek had been able to stomach her morals and
her logic, and even a little whisky occasionally,
bat when it came to calomel and rhubarb he
could stand ii no longer.
Miss Susan B. Anthony has lost her opportu-
uity. She expected her trial for illegal voting
10 New York TO end in heavy fine and long i'm
prisonment-thus making her trst-class mar.
tyr. Tha Court utterly disappointed her by in
ticting fine Of but 500, and ntimatng that
here would be no imprisonment even if She
JAILED to pay that. Poor Susan!
The reputation OF members of the Legislature
ofKentucky for sobriety seems TO be rather bad.
Louisville paper has this;
Two members OF the legislature were rather
uOisily drunk on a railroad train the other day.
and when the conductor demonstrated one OF /
them very pompously asked: "Do you know, "
cir, that ] am member Of the legislature" The .
conductor quietly replied, you've got the l.
Symphonic" ... "
The phunny- phellow Of the Danbury NocS a
notes a new industry III the land OF wooden
outmegs: .LE, 49,.
1t consists in themanufacture Of nose -pinehers .
made after the pattern of patent clothes-pins but "
very highly finished. They are designed for "
young people who are keeping company with Il
through the young onion season. II
The city council Of Ottawa should order few d
tor the aldermen to whom the smell of horse and +
sour water" is SO offensive. TT
Miss Elizabeth Stuart Phslps wants to know if N
either the essential modesty of feminine nature &C
OF the safety Of society requires drapery below
the knees" F| 81
Probably not If there is plenty above. But the III
question is one we had rather turn over 10 ra
Dalton. ..{. or
4 leading New York insurance journal calls an
agent to whom it is hostile capsule, fashioned UT
liter the likeness Of a man and filed with The al
oil of greasy aud rancid hypocrisy" lof
The manager Of the Cunard line of steamshi of
probably knows how it is himself. The captain ly
Of one OF the ships was recently married, and ap ca
piled TO the manager for leave TO take his wife "
with him or thenext voyage This was gran ted, Co
but when the vessel started he found one Of his hi
brother captains on board, from whom he learned al
that, though the company had no objections TO at
his taking his wife to America, they were not re
willing TO trust him with the ship, too. al
a reporter Of a ST. Louis paper speaking Of 4 At
certain fair creature, remarked that "thc proiI. Loo
sion and color OF he1hair would lead to look up. M
on IL as though 1t was spun by the nimbc fingers w.
OF the easy hours as they glided through the c ti
bright June days, whose many sunny rays Of lOl
Light had been caught in the meshes, and were sir
cOntended TO 90 no further. as
This is qctter than saying the girls hair is red OIL
Lieutenant Fred D. Grant took breakfast nj on
Duluth Saturday morning, and the Heyah mani
discovered that he pronounced perquisites as if 90
It were spelled "perk-we-stes which indicates "
al want Of familiarity with "perquistes Sc
strange in member OF the Grant Dent family ne
EtnctnHdtt Enquirer tic
The Louisville Co,ri,r.Journal intimates that Ia
tAe man who kicks from the Sidewalk in the gut. ON
Ter the orange peel and banana skins is q true So
pEilanthroplst, still higher philanthropy cb
may be eXerted ty kicking after the fellow VINO lin
put them on the sidewalk he
A nan named Duncan was recently hanged q, t"'
Paris KY who ii what a local paper SAYS about im
MIN il true might have been proftaby spared as W,
convenient man 10 have around. Says the Press: to
During his incarceration, he would tell his fell vi
lpw prisoners VINO would he the next inmate Of III
The jail and what he would be arrested for, and hi
that hE predictions were always verified ON IN
one occasion he said that at q certain hour a II,
prisoner would be brought in for cutting a man, vi
and az The appointed time negro was put in the
.'aIl VINO had cut man the night previous at VI
Mlllersburg When Duncan was asked To ex. 81
plain how he knew, he said that he the fight al
plainly curing the night. pi
/. NJ Rice, Of Iowa City, Iowa, went into church 90
last sunday and tried TO preach sermon from n
text from q Patent Office report He has been va
cent to the insane asylum. vi
No policeman these days amounts To "shucks" ~
unless he can 4rrest at least one member OF the ~
Bender family. In Iowa the arrest Of Benders W.
already amounts 10 over 200 Several have been Idu
closely chased in the northern part of this county IL,
within q couple Of weeks. sp,
f,,yir,, 20 the ,.-oIoss ,bo-,,;,,, 4, ,r, >, col
by Z Peoria clerk IN old lady in that city has
been swallowing rheumatism liniment three pit
times dag, and an old gentleman has rubbed civ
himself with blue pills until he can slide up and Ba
down the side VI q house when the weather Re