The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-03-12
TALL TALKING.

The Greeks we're great inventors OF
these sayings. On Dieneees, the Spar
tan, being told the number Of
Xerxes's army was so great that when
they shot forth their arrows the sun
would be darkened by their multitude;
he answered "If the Medes darken
the sun we shall have our fight in the
shade" The American humor par
takes slightly of the same character
and extravaganza but it is, neverthe'
less the growth of the soil. The vast.
ness of the country, which is bounded
on the east by the Atlantic Ocean, on
the north by the Aurora BorealiS, on
the west by the setting sun, and on
the south by the day of Judgment
and The peculiar circumstances in
which the people are placed, can be
traced in most of these stories. The
hyperbolical or tall species of Ameri-
can humor was much in vogue some
years ago, and such stories as the fol-
lowing we're once very common: "a
man was so tall that he had to go up
a ladder to shave HIMSELF; another
was SO strong that his sneeze would
kill buffalo across the Mississippi
River" "a MASSACHUSETTS pig was so
lean that it was necessary to tie q
knot in his tail to prevent its getting
through the chinks of the paling";
"an American artist painted snow
storm so naturally that he caught
bad cold by sitting near it with his
coat off,; "some land was so rich that
a squash vine, in its rapid growth,
overlook a drove of pigs; "the reason
why cream is dear is that milk has
risen 50 high that the cream can't
reach the top"
There is capital story in which it
is related that "a coach drove through
the county so fast that the milestones
passed so quickly that the passengers
thought they we're in churchyard."
This coach, however, was beaten by
the Skipper which went SO fsarfuhy
fast that, in sailing round Long Island,
she left her shadow three and half
miles behind her." Major N, when
asked if he was seriously injured by
the explosion of boiler of the "St.
Leonard" steamer, replied "that he
was so used to being blown up by his
wife that mere steamer had no effect
upon him" The evidence of wit
ness in life insurance case involved
in the blowing up Of steamboat on
the Ohio is droll, just because it is
characteristic. The witness knew the
man, and saw him on the deck Of the
steamboat before the explosion. When
asked by the lawyer, what was the
last time you saw him?' he answered:
The very last time set my eyes on
him was when the biler burst, and was
going up. | met him and the smoke.
pipe coming down" We all know
that the American oysters are large;
but that one must have been Of extra
ordinary size which required three
men to swallow it whole.
1t is not fair that the foreigners
should have all the lies to themselves;
SO we will let the Englishmen put in
an appearance. A commercial travel
er, boasting that his firm spent $500
year for writing-ink alone, was an
swered: During the last twelve
months we have saved in that article
alone $4,000 by merely omitting the
dots to our is and the crosses TO our
t's." One of the best specimens of
rhodomonlade is the following story !:
Two men, who We're famous for their
vaporing, laid wager as to who
could tel. the biggest lie. One said
that he was in md ocean, far away
from land, when he espied man
swimming. The ship was stopped, and
preparations were made for taking the
man in, when ho cried out; 81 am all
right, and only want to know the lati'
tude and longitude, for | am swim
ming to England" This seemed suffi'
ciently improbable; but the other
capped it by asking "whether his
: friend had seen the man again." and
being answered in the negative, said :
WDhan I am ha - Rrifish Oll1lferHl