The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1873-05-09
MISCELLANEOUS
For the A3gis and Mtelligencer.
THE TEACHERS ORDEAL.

teacher: "a person who engages for
specified sum to let otherpeople abuse them
for certain length of time" One who is
expected to govern forty or fifty children
without cross work or look, many of
whom are ungovernable at home.
One who is expected to do what parents
know they cannot do; to make misbe-
havior behave, indecency decent, and i'm
part knowledge where there are no brains
to receive it. It. is true she is to be
walking encyclopedia. No question of
law, mathematics, theology or philosophy,
that may occur in the neighborhood, can
possibly be too abstruse or veXed for her
to solve. She is to be without reproach.
She must not so much as lift her eyes to q
bright good-looking six -footer, or she is at
once suspected of having matrimonial de-
signs and buggy ride with handsome
overcoat is equivalent to an elopement. If
she would be above evil report in the fe-
male community, she must be rapid car
pet-rag sewer, and know how to quilt
handsomely. The notable housekeepers
think her very ignorant but she is wise in
one way, they in another. Put one ofthem in
her schoolroom and she would run aground
as soon, if not sooner, than the teacher
would in picking and butter-making.-
Though say just here that eoery girl ought
to know how to make and bake good bread,
and cook q beefsteak properly, and be
able to get up good dinner for her hung
ny brother, or somebody else's brother.
She is expected to be repository for all
the new designs in over skirts and basques,
and her patterns go the round of the temi-
nine neighborhood. She is by no means
to refuse to take part in quilting parties,
tea parties, or apple parngs, else she is
o'efully stuck mp. Her sewing is popularity
supposed to be done by magic, and never
. costs her any thing. She is always to be
! tastefully and neatly attired, but not tot put
on ribbon or ring too much, else she is
noted so exceedingly .tond Of dress. She
takes her old dress, and by dyeing, trim
ming, pressing, setting up late and sewing
every Saturday, she manages to look as a
lady should, when somebody rolls up her
busy eyes and wonders how she can afford
to pay such dress makers bills.
Brain work is not tatiguing at all, and
as long as she has not been over the wash
ztnb, OR baking table, she is the very one
selected to situp at night with the sick.
She is supposed to be totally exempt from
all ills that human flesh is heir to. She
has no business getting sick Her place is
in the schoolroom, and she goes, sick or
well. She may have such head ache that
her brain seems like work shop, and
every nerve is getting pounded She may
have such pain in her side that it turns
the blackboa blue, but she fights her way
, through. She may have enough to make
7tfrrEpa suitable subject for lunatic asylum,
u after she gets home in her own little
treat, she bolts the door, washes the
zalk off her hands, then has her trouble
al to herself, and only the Good Father
syabove knows her trials and tribulations.
One of the greatest ordeals she passes is
the examination. She dreams of it by
night, and it is in every waking thought.
During her season Of preparation, you call
upon her-you ask her what she thought
of the lecture last night and she replies
with q sentence from "School Economy"
You ask the number ofyards in her new suit
and she replies that of the square oftwice
the number, is equal to four thirds OF the
square of the number, diminished by three
yards. You talk of the weather. and she
Celebrates her idea of it in u sentence from
Mitchell's Physical Geography. You talk
unaffectedly, and she plainly tells you that
your last sentence was ungrammatical; i'm
mediately gives you the reason and rule,
and finishes by parsing it all out. You en-
deavor to interest her in a wedding invita-
tion that you have just received. Contrary
to all girls, she don't even "wOnder what
the bride will wear" but rushes to her
writing desk to get you specimen of her
penmanship. You try to draw her from
the all absorbing topic by showing her
new magazine sent by friend. From
French fashions she runs into description
of the French and Indian war. AS last
resort, you speak of "Eldridge's Reading
and Elocution."
She is on the floor in an instant, reading
something so sweet and tender that before
two minutes your face is in the sofa pillow,
and your eyes and nose colored to most
uncomfortable and unbecoming redness.
Then she makes you scream with laughter
at her exceedingly funny rendering of Dari
8sing out "bravo!" and tell
Gill only read that way for
Aill ut once think of be-
"a Grade.
~ sic says with smiles and tears
1lending, "if could only tell what know;
but every thing goes out OF my brain, the
instant see the examiner coming in"
The day comes. The manner ofthe Exami-
ner is very kind, and if his frown does come
occasionally, she only thinks it is very un-
becoming, but that it shall not Brighten
her from the teachers rank. The questions
are given pleasantly and graciously.-
Though every window is open and every
bird splitting his throat in his mad jubilee,
she hears nothing but the questioning voice.
The soft wind that fans her cheek, seems
turned to simeon, and her face seems in
a fame. Yet she is cold, her hands are
blue-she is so nervous that she can scarce
ly hold the pencil. She knows all the an
swers that Others give, but don't know for
her life, whether Admiral Nelson was a
native of the Fejee Islands or belonged to
the Modoc Indians. She has no more idea
of dates than white kitten; and would as
soon cay the Seminole war occurred in 1899,
as at any other time. At the risk of losing
years salary, she couldn't tell when
Washington cut the memorable cherry tree;
and if she had to forfeit her best button
CATERS, she could not tell where Mount
Blanc is. At home she can talk fuently of
the Hassler Expedition, the troubles in
India, the last poem, the Geneva Confer
ence, the Japanese Embassy, and pronounce
all their names too, but here, as sheep be-
fore the shearers she il dumb.