The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-08-28
HAPPY THOUGHTS.

WHEN you tell man Joke, poke
him in the shirt and he'll laugh.
TEE only food that is always cheap
and abundant, is food for laughter.
STRANGE yet true-the mouths OF
rivers are always larger than then
heads.
IF THOU wouldst bear thy neighbor's
faults, cast thine eyes upon thine own.
MoEinos.
SOME very unscrupulous person has
defined Chinese policeman as On Asia
tic collarer.
ARISTOTLE says there is one thing
which God cannot change, and that is,
yesterday,
No GIFT Of God does or can contradict
any other gift, except by misuse or mis-
direction. Coteridge.
A LAZY Essex street man being re-
quested to stone some raisins, told his
wife TO try coaxing first.
A NAN need but to be to the best of
his abilities, and he viii occasionally
appear to advantage, ,-Goefho.
NATURE lives every poie is bursting
with life; every death is only a new
birth every grave a CRADLE Il.
LeaDes.
MORAL repugnance is as important as
moral enthusiasm; two polar forces can
not be of unequal strength.--Afss
LoveE.
HAVE the courage 10 be ignorant of
great number of thugs, in order to
avoid the calamity of being ignorant of
everything. Sidney Smith.
VIII You venture ON an orange
asked hostess of Leigh Hunt at des-
sert. Not without imminent danger of
falling off, madam, was his reply.
A WEALTHY but infatuated woman of
Savannah has paid over $1,000, at va
rious times, to fortune-tellers, but her
luck has never changed.
Or ANY ten married men who may
sit on the edge of a newly-made bed to
think, it is safe to affirm that nine viii
get up with sore heads.
EVERY man has three relations to
acquit himself in his body helps to
make one, the Deity another, and his
neighbors a third.-Marous AItrelists.
INTUITION is that attitute Of soul in
which it sees the various relationships
of the universe presented TO it spontane-
ously as an immediate objective reality.
6or6U.
WHERE are the men of 20 shouted
a patriotic orator. Dead, responded
sad looking man in the middle aisle.
The orator seemed to be disturbed by
the information.
A LITTLE boy was caught in the gear
ing of a patent ehurn at Clinton, Wis
consin, the other day, and though his
scream was first rate, ne failed to make
good butter.
SO far, 30 far gone out Of sight,
My strained eyes follow thee no more
Thou 70 The left, 60 the right,
Never to meet ss heretofore
Yet though the distance z.oNs % wide,
We tread Lzoyes circle ysar by year;
Were on the other side
The further we are sundered here,
@. p. Bates.
WY is q thief your only true philo-
sopher? Because he regards every
thing from an abstract point of view, is
opposed to all notions Of protection,
and is open to conviction
LET go that iib, let go that iib, quicki
shouted the captain Of down east
sloop to a raw hand in squaI. amt
touching yer old jibl replied Jonathan
Indignantly, as he iammed his fists
deeper into his trouserloons.
TRUE friendship cannot be among
many. For since our faculties are Of a
finite energy, 'tis impossible our love
can be very intense when divided among
many. No, the rays must b: contracted
to make them burn.-Joln Norris.
SoHooLMAsTKR-"H How manv kinds
of axes are there ?" Little boy" Broad
Ak, narrow az, iron AK, steel Ak, Ak Of
the Apostles and az my father" !" School
master" Good go TO the top Of the
class"
I4IaHrEnSo recently struck n tsis-
graph-pole and ran along the wire into
the Office at Coatsville, Indiana. when
the operator, seated at the instrument,
excitedly telegraphed bsek, Don't
send 80 d--d fast T.
No MAN or woman was ever cured Of
love by discovering the falsenOss Of his
or her lover The living together for
three long, rainy days IN tho country
has done more TO dispel love than all
the perfidies IN love that have ever been
committed. Helps.
WOULD rather be the author Of one
original thought than conqueror of q
hundred battles. Yet moral excellenes
is so much superior 70 intellectual, that
ought 10 esteem one virtue more vhlu-
able than hundred original thoughts.
W. y. CtuJ0s0.
WEAR your learning, like your watch,
in a private pock.t; and do not pull II
ont and strike it, merely 70 show that
you have one. If you are asked what
O'Clock It is, tell It, but do not proclaim
il hourly and unasked, like the watch
man. -C7sesterfIeld.
THE characteristics Spanish wit is ex-
ceasiye statelinsss OF their proverbs,
1" He who has nothing 10 do, let him
buy a ship or marTy wife. 50 From
many children and little bread, good
Lord deliver us. "A fool ID never
great one unless ne knows Latin
MAMMA. don't forget to ask papa
about going 70 Brighton for a fort
nightr' Hush, dear I'm afraid it
won't do You know how dTeadfully the
seaside upsets papa for the hrst week
alwaysf' ayes; but papa needn't
come down till the second week, you
know l''-E'tnch.
EKoxosrX IL a savings bank, into which
men drop pennies, and git dollars in re-
turn.
AvAmcz Il Iik graveyard IL takes
ali that it kan git and gsves nuthins
back.
ERhoR viii alp thru q crask, while
truth viii git stuck IN a doorway.
.Josh l7fltisigs.
BoEnowED garments never keep one
warm. A curse goes With them. - with