Litchfield enquirer., 1873-08-28
who1e NO 251S-
CLIPPINGS
A jolly crew-Corkscrew.

A jolly crew-Corkscrew '..fF e..--.-.t
 The postal card-a penny for your thoughts. att
 What, on shore, corresponds to tarring a rope?-Pitching tent.-P,nch.
 A beautiful blonde sexton renders death attractive at Grand Rapids, Mich.
 ''The grasshopper twist is the name of the fashionable feminine gait at the wa tering places. ar, -.
 A capital way of not keeping we'll is to eat sour and half-rotten fruit because they are cheap.
 Note by a chiropdist Gin the country for the first time): "Must be very pain ful-corn in the ear. ."-Pench.
 Young men who banker after the fair sex will find themselves much better ap- preciated if they make more frequent and shorter calls.
 No true woman will ask man right af ter breakfast, what he will have for din ner, or just before dinner to put up a clothes-line.- e.-D. ~.
 We hope our brass band will learn some hornpipes and jigs and waltzes so we can have sacred concerts on Sunday evenings like other places.-D. N.
 At a love-feast in New Haven, Metho- dist sister publicly thanked God that she had outlived her husband, because he would not let her be immersed.
 ''Why do you set your cup of coffee on the chair, MT. Jones?' said worthy land lady one morning at breakfast 'FIt is so very weak, ma'am, I thought would let 1t rest
 A young man from the country slapped big copper cent under the nose of the stamp clerk at the Troy post-ofice the other day, saying: ''I guess I'll take one of them Ger pastoreal-cards, mister!"
 ''The Passionate Pilgrim "-Enthusias- tic Pedestrian: "Am | on the right road for Stratford-Shakesper town, you know, my man. You've often heard of Shakespere?" Rustic: "Ees; be you he?" -PURch
 Boston ladies put on clean stockings when they have their photographs taken. A philosopher is trying to study out the reason. But the most interesting point of the inquiry is, how did the reporter learn the fact.
 'If George had not blowed into the muzzle of his gun, ," sighed rural widow, st the funeral of her late husband, last Saturday, Che might have got plenty of squirrels, 1t was such q good day for them"
 farmers daughter out West received a hairy poodle dog from friend in New I, oko.7 back thanking her friend for the present, and saying that she found it very handy when tied to 8 stick to clean windows with. ..... ..
 4 lawyer arose in the midst of a case at Lincoln, Neb., the other day, and said: ''May it please the court, there's a fight outdoors, and I ask for short adjourn ment. , The court went out with him.
 A Portland man who was caught fish ing for trout on another mans land the other day, completely silenced the owner, who remonstrated, with the majestic an swer: 'FWho wants to catch your trout? I'm only trying to drown this worm.'
 \ little boy on Wooster street fell from a stoop on Thursday, and received severe bruises. His father was sent for and on arriving home found thirty-one women in the house. It took the mother of the boy five days to get the various bottles of cam phor and hartshorn to their rightful own ers.-D. ~.
 A minister in a neighboring town was greatly exasperated lately by COW which had made havoc in his garden, and which had defied the efforts of the boy who had been sent to turn her out. "Just wait till get this coat of divinity off, and I'll drive you, you old cuss," said he, and be- fore the words were out of his mouth, the coat was thrown upon the floor, and he went for that COW most effectually.
 This is the season when the good-look- ing young man always offers to carry the sun umbrella of the first good-looking young lady friend whom he meets, and walks along under it's shelter, gazed at enviously by all the other men whom he meets, while his fair companion trips gracefully in the outside edge of the shade, and is uncomfortable, but happy.