Connecticut western news., 1873-08-22
Sharon,

Our peace1ul town Is occasionally un
 tranquilized and thrown from it's bearings
 by that almost indispensable luxury-a law suit Let me ask you-Have you ever
 been in court holden by Justice of the
 Peace, and what were your emotions on
 entering the sacred place Hike mine no doubt. How heavy the atmosphere; how
 differently costumcd seem the partles than
 when you saw them last, aud how anxious
 they appear as they gaze upon the justice
 and the legal con batants; and what more
 striking than the portentious bearing of
 country lawyer in mournful clothing, with
 the statutes under hls arm and the inevita-
 ble roll of foOlscap pr0truding from the
 pocket of his swallow tailed coat and how
 sweet his smile as he looks around upon
 his we'll drilled witnesses. The fate of
 creation hangs upon the address he is about
 to make and he will make his client think
 likewise, providing the retainer is already
 in his wallet. The justice too, thinking of
 his two dollar fee, how calm and placid his
 features as he looks upon the calt skin
 volumes lying about-to him of course un-
 sealed, unread and often misunderstood
 and with what pleasure he anticipates a days harmless amusement. True, he never
 heard of Blackstone, but is familiar with
 the material for making red brick. Never of Coke, but had burnt it; had heard of Story, but not the lawyer, Qhe almanac
 man) and had actually conversed with a
 man who had seen the Lord Chancellor of England; sit upon woolly sack. Singu- lar Is 1t not-tO-day a non n-professonal-to- morrow an adjadicator upon the rights and properties of others, and render decisions of importance, and all without legal knowl- edge thereof, except as stated by the learned men who make chin music at one dollar per hour, and abuse witnesses at 50 cents apiece. On Saturday last the sleep ing elephant burst upon us like thunder storm in sumaDr, and chase through the town for counsel at the court end of our
 boulevard surprised the lockers on and al most paralized Counsellor Skinner, who of fered to bet libations for the crowd, that
 law suit was to commence and that he could tell the winning horse in the legal race. Though the counsellor is sound on
 many points, like the rest of mankind he Is liable to err, as the result proved. He paid for the beer without tear. Gle wa. gers all his small coin on his friend, Coun :. sellor Kingston, who instructed him in Latin forty years ago.) My client met me at the garden gate and threw the indictment at my head, pad the fee-a retainer for the defence-murmured in sweet Irish sooth. ing word and drove off at rapid pnce. 1 fo lowed, and Jagged in order to compose my speech and get the the steam up. The indictment charged assault and battery on two women. I read it as walked. did wish Chow naturaD that had been on the other side, but it was too late and must proceed. l arrived at the justice's mansion and found the litigants and their witnesses The justice opened proceedings by pulling from hls fob the large silver watch so com mon ln this old Commonwealth, and in tones said, "It is ten o'clock un- til it is eleven, and if the parties are ready we will proceed to adjudicate." The learned brother for plaintiff reads the indictments in both cases, and explains the case and the witnesses for plaintiffs are sworn in lump leach no doubt fully appreciating the oath as administered.) The first witness is asked three questions before he has time to reply to one the defence objects, but is overruled-frst blood for plaintiff. The justice smiled approvingly and then saw the handwriting on the wall. l was doomed and so was my client, but thought of the retainer and felt happy. The second and third witnesses all swore to the assault and battery, to wit: the pushing, softly push ing, of tue fair plaintiffs. The learned brother rested. commenced. My wit nesses were sworn likewise in lump, four oA tueul, osseVeTateu SOlemnly that no pushing was done, and no assault made by the defendant; simply ordering the plain tiffs off the property of the defendant, and that too in the mildest language. The case closed and the summing up was powerful and eloquent. The learned men fatigued, rested, while the justice delivered his deci- sion. He fined the defendant five dollars and costs in each case without smile upon his face. My client and suffered men tally. He paid the fines and costs like an ancient martyr. The litigants separated, but not as friends, but my hope is, that my client aud l will sec many happy days. The unhappy cause of all this suffering is this, An anlmal belonging to William Lockwood Esq, was loaned to the plaintiffs. The an mai strayed or was driven away. He found resting place at the defendants. The plaintiffs sought the animal and found it. Soft words no doubt followed, and hence the charges of assault. The animal was driven off in triumph by the plaintiffs, and both parties sought the fountain head of justice, and they got it too. So the world wags on. THE VISITOR.