Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-11-06
A WARNING TO WIVES.
what Befell a Danbury Husband. All
Because his Wife Left her HOOpskirt
Living on the Floor.


because his Wife Left her Hoopskirt
Lying on the Floor.
We had visitor Saturday afternoon.
He was a square-built, heavy man.
When he came in, he took seat oppo-
site us, and after preliminary examin
alton OF our features, propounded the
following singular, but rather important
question Ibid you ever hear tell of
In front of the bed ?" We thought over
the subject for moment, so as not to
seem hasty in our judgment, and briefly
intimated that We had not any knowl-
edge of this popularity of the sex.
" Well, nor either, till last night,
said he. "And so you did hear of it
last night?'' we aaked. 1 rayther
think l did. 1 rayther think did, he
repeated Then he pulled up his panta-
loon legs, disclosing shin bone that
looked as if it had passed the night in
a smoke house fighting flies, and a
bruise at the top that must have called
forth the iveliest expressions of wrath
when received. "Do you see that ?" he
asked. As we were looking -ectly at
it, and we answered in the rmative,
Well, young man" explained.
GIVE got another one like that on my
back, an the gol darndest shaking up
generally, you ever saw" He paused
a moment to readiust his pantaloon
leg, and then continued. "You see L
was taken little bad in the night with
pain In my stomach. L had been over
to the fair, an must have eat some
thing that didn't agree with me. L
4 II 0faloal- -, +lo
mornin' when l begun to feel the gripin'.
/ thought, at first, I'd lay still, an it
might pass over; but it kept Citing
worse, an finally 1 got up to look for
the camire. TWAS darker than blazes
"a favorite and pertinent simile with
the masses.-ED. J, an 1 had to hitch
round kinder carefully for match. 1
expect / got on the wrong side of the
bed in the dark, for the first thing l
knowed one of my feet catched III some
thing an kinder pitched me ahead,
then the other foot catched an pulled
me up again, an then both legs got
tangled up In the internal hoops, for it
was the old woman's hoopskirt, an
some of the ribs got atween my toes,
an smarted like thunder, an when /
undertook to move one way it would
pull me back another, an finally 1t got
catched on to q cheer, an / suddenly
went over to wunst, the cheer, too, an
/ struck my arm across the foot board
of the bed, an liked to have wrenched
my shoulder off, an that threw me to
one side, kinder, an l came plump with
the top of my head agin the mantel,
an just made every timber In that house
shake as if thunder-bolt had struck
it. It's great wonder it hadn't killed
me as it was, it set the old woman to
screamin' like stuck pig, an for two
or three minutes it made me dreadful
sick an dissatisfied. You can bet that
when / got on my feet 1 made short
work of that hoopskirt. 1t amt hardly
worth mentionin' in the paper, don't
suppose, but / thought it might be
good thing to just warn the women
against leaving hoopsk1rts ON the floor
nights, an putin peoples lives IN dam
ger, you know" Here he stopped, and
leaning back in his chair with sigh of
relief at an oppressive duty performed,
eyed US for moment with consider
able and rather uncalled for anxiety
Then rising, and replacing his hat, with
another sigh asked us if we had en-
gagged our potatoes for the winter, and
finding that We had, and there was no
probability within the scope of earthly
comprehension that we should need
any pot cheese, he sighed once more and
took his leave.-Danb,vy Ne,Cs.