Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-28
Wit ard Wisdom.
A FAvoRIrE exclamatiOn-A lass!

"A dOI luuCu-4 Alc CfdChcIS.
s;PENDrHR1FT's capitalist OU.
DRAWING PAPE1:-The dentists bill.
PAPEI. for the roughs-:Ss Sand paper.
Dies are engraved now. In C;esar's
time the die was cast. ,.,
They that stand high have many
blasts to shake them.
GREAT thoughts proceed from the
heart. !. .:-.;
UScoSsc1ousSEss is life's hottest
shrine.
A JOINT stock company-The beef
packers
To boil t.pgue-Drink scaldiLg
coffee. Il.
How many peas are there in pint z
Only one 2, surely:
Nor bad name for female fortune
neutrality-suspicious..
To have fish at supper-Just drop
them line.
The Indian question-White man,
got any rum?
The we'll dressed dog wears collar,
and pants in the summer.
A woMAs's pride and sailors guide
The needle. -
WHEN does man have to keep his
word! When no one will take It.
MIXTURE your mind with great
thoughts. To believe i'll the heroic
makes heroes.
! WITHOUT calnness it is utterly i'm
possible to show forth consistent &C.
ton. =;
VERY singular-Almost all the pre-
servers OF fruits and vegetables get
what they can, and can what they get.
WHAT comes once in minute, twice
in moment, and once in mans life!
The letter NJ.
| WHAT is the difference between fixed
stars and shooting starss The one are
suns, the other darters.
| MELANCHOLY sulcide-A little boy,
on being threatened with whipping,
hung his head.
WHY does a widow feel her bereave-
ment less when she wears corsets. Be-
cause then she is so-laced.
THERE would not be half the diff
| Guilty in doing right but for the fire.
! quent occurrence of cases where the
lesser virtues are on the side of wrong.
ANT1GoNE says to Creon, when he an
nounces to her the sentence of death,
tellest ME when.'
LET the philosophers say what they
will, happiness is the eGxer of life,
that makes us young in heart if not III
person. ,
WHEN a noble life has prepared old
age it is not the decline that it recalls,
| but the first days of immortality
Madame de tuel.
the real wants of nature are the
| measure of the shoe. We can call
| oulv the want OF what is necessary
poverty.
The beloved of the Almighty are the
rich who have the humility of the poor,
and the poorwho have the magnanimity
of the rich.-Saddi.
A PAIR of Nevada lovers have organ
lied very SPLENDID way OF spending
their evenings. He holds the cat
under Ills arm and she grinds its tail.
KNOWLEDGE begins with the particu-.
lar, is endless and formless, can never
be comprehended, or at least but
dreamily, and thus remains exactly the
opposite of faith.
The Utica Herald says man will
never know what effect it would have
on Job if II little girls had called on
him, one after another, and tried to sell
him Sunday school picnic tickets.
A1ApY writer says there is no object
in Nature which approaches in glory a
peacock with it's tail spread, so nearly
rs {; young lady with new pony phae-
ton a:d parasol on her whip handle.
A MAN who sent his wife to q place
on the Jersey coast because he heard
that dumb ague was prevalent there, Is
greatly discouraged because she has
returned with the chatterlng kind IN
stead.
BRowS, the clairvoyant, visited the
journal Office, and the editor remarks
thereupon that che read the thoughts
of ali present" It did not give him
the brain fever, either.-Chicogo Post.
The Reetlsburg Free Press employs
women exclusively. 1t says: We have
il calico :: foreman, two dimity COM
positors." and the sweetest little
:'devil' in pink muslin to be found
anywhere.
i CHICAGO paper says: ''There is
promise Of novel sensation for some
of the reporters who will accompany
Professor Wise in his trans-Atiantlc
balloon voyage. The sensation Will
probably be that of taking water.
A DEBATING society discussed the
question els it wrong to cheat law
!er?" After a full discussion and
mature deliberatian. the decision was,
"Not wrong, but too difficult to pay
for the trouble"
AN ambitious Nashville youth says
he only lacks three things Of beng
ucrfcctly happy and contented, anu
these are :. handsome wife, plenty OF
money and black curly halr. Let him
supply himself with the second it will
buy him the other two.
In composing, think much more OF
your matter than your manner. 10 be
sure, spirit, grace and dignity OF man
ner are Of great Importance, both to
the speaker auu writer; but Of Infinite
~ more Importance is the weight and
worth of matter.-Wr.
TOMMY thinks ne got the inside track
W Tue Idil1pstN OAASAoAs A.aoe "SSA>> " >'A
he took train without any none: III
his pocket, and was told by the con>iuc-
tor that he must get eff at the next
station. That was just where Tommy
WAS going.
4 WOMAN who had repeatedly but
unavailingly besieged well-known
lawyer at Greenfield, Mass, to assist
her in getting divorced from her hus-
band, came into his Office the other
day, her face radiant with JOY, and
exclaimed, esquire, the old man s
dead !"
4 SPRINGFIELD lady communicates to
the publicists this warning to young
ladies who hump: Coming from
church, few Sabbaths ago, l noticed
my little boy of seven cast what took
to he edmir,ng glances after a little
mrs of his own age, even long after
she had turned into another street.
Referring to it, soon after, he replied
''No, tell you what; l wasn't looking
at her, 1 was looking at her humps:
1iy &c, wasn't she bumped up! L
wouldn't marry her, ali bumped up
bel.,nd like that!"
| YOUR undertaken IS sometimes man
Of humor, albeit of 4 grave and chast-
encd sort. One such, the other day,
meeting in Il newspaper { flee doctor,
II Drrncher and mutual trlend, re-
marked to the latter, "Now have
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