The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-08-02
BUDGET OF FUN.
Trying an Experiment.


'oiioMinS the ra ad.ce Of New'Earer w rasr
Down IA Drunken Mans Spine.
He came in with an interrogation point in
one eye and a stick in one hand One eye
was covered with II handkerchief and one
arm was IN Il sling His bearing was that of
man with settled purpose in view.
." ] want to see" says he tic man who
puts things into this paper
We inimatcd that several of us earned "A
frugal livelihood in that way.
Wen, want to see the man which cribs
lhings out Of other papers, The fellow who
writes mostly with shears, Won understand -
We explained TO him that there were sea.
sons when the most gifted amongst us, driven
to frenzy by the scarcity Of ideas and events
and by the ClamOrOuS demands of an inSata
bic public, in moments of emotional insanity
plunged the glittering shears into our cN-
changes. lie went off calmly, but in Il voice
tremulous with suppressed feeling, and indis-
iinct through tie loss OF half dozen or 50 of
his front teeth
Just So | presume SO. | don't know
much about this business but want to see
man, the man that printed that little piece
about pouring cold water down drunken
mans spine of his back, and making him in,
stantly sober. If you please, would like to
see that man. would like to talk with him"
Then he leaned his stick against our desk
and moistened his scrviceablc hand, and re
sumed his hold on the stick as though he was
weighing it, After studying the stick min
ute, he added, in somewhat louder tone:
Mister, | came here to see that ere man.
want to see him bad
We told him that particular man was not
in.
just so. presume so, They told me be
fore | came that the man | wanted TO see
wouldn't be anywhere. I'll wait for him.
live up north, and I've walked seven miles to
converse with that man. ! guess I'll sit down
and wait"
He sat down by the door and rchrctiycly
pounded the floor with his stick but his,
feelings would not allow him to keep still.
suppose none Of you didn't ever pour
much cold water down any drunken mans
back to make him instantly sober, perhaps 90
Not one of lis in the office had ever tried
The experiment.
Just so. thought just Is like a, not you
had not. Wen, mister, ] have. | tried it
yesterday, and have come seven miles on
foot TO see the man that printed that piece
1t wasn't much of piece, | don't think; but
! want to see the man that printed it, Just Il
few minutes. You see, John Smith, he lives
next door to my house, when I'm to home
" ~ w. y ',''N' WV! i''ti, ~
rlou; NOW, when mes SOBER hes all right Ii
you Keep out OF MS way; 6ut when hes drunk,
~ goes nome ANA DfGaks dishes, ana ups
over the stove, and throws the hardware
around, and makes it movement for his
"ll', ana sometimes ne gets his gun and goes
utcalIing on his neighborS, and amt pleas
ant
MOI Ihal want TO say anything about
0hli'l; Dut me ana my Wltc don't think he
ought to 90 so. ne came home drunk ycstcr-'
gay, anu broke an me Kitchen windows out OF
ms mouse, ana followed his wife round with
me cafVin! khlie talking about hcr liver, and
'''cr u WINE he lay down by my fence amt
went 10 sleep. had been reading that little
piece u WASH tmuch oia piece, and | thought
coGIu pour some water down his spine,
on ms DacK, ana make INN sober, 1t would .
ne more comiortabl tor his wife and square
lhinS all around 80 poured bucket OF
spring water down John Smiths spine OF his
oack r.,
Wen, SAD We as our visitor paused, " did