Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-04-17
Kindl:ns Weed.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

Young men, when yu have tew search
| Webster's Dictionary tew find words
big enough tew convey yure meaning,
yu kan make up yure mind that yu
don't mean mulch. ..
About the best thing that experience
kan do for us IL tew learn us how tew
enjoy mizery.
We are poor, not from what we need,
but from what we want; necessitys
are not only natural, but cheap.
I had rather have drop of pepmint
lie than a quart of pepmint essence.
] had rather drink out ov a spring than
tew drink a hundred yards below. for
this reason, when | read book it IL
one written by an old author whose
thoughts the modern writer has at
tempted to improve bi diluting,
All successful firts hav sharp eyes
they Keep one on yu and one on the
other phcFor.
+ Vanity is called discreditable pash-
un, but the. good things that men du
kan oftener be traced tew their vanity
/ than tew their virtew.
Don't never phroyesy, young man,
for if you provesy right nobody nobody
will remember it.
Toung-tied women are very skarse
and very valuable.
Vain men should be treated as boys
treat bladders, blow them up till they
bust '.''
It il great art to be superior tew
others without letting them kno it.
i There IL not only plum, bat there Il
virtew in harty laff; animals kant
laff and devils wont.
Don't never quarrel with loafer.
Skurrility is bis trade yii kan never
make him ashamed, but he IL sure tew
make you.
! Ihav always noticed that he IL the
best tallIer whoze thougts agree with
our own.
He who ackquires wealth dishonesty
/ IL too korlupt tew enjoy it.
Adversely IL the fire that tempers the
iron ov man into steel.
| never had man cum to me for ad-
vice vet but what | soon discovered
that he thought more oy his own opln
ion than he did ov mine.
Edukashun that don't learn g man
how few think IL like knowing the mul-
tiplicashun table forward but not back
| ward
Suckcess in this life IL like watch
ing for rat the rat IL quite az apt
tew cum out at the other end ov the
hole.
Adversely haz the same affec on a
phool that hornet haz on a mule-It
sets them tew kicking bak.
One ov the priveledges ov old age
seems tew be tew give advice that
nobody will phollow, and relating ex
| periences that everybody distrusts, 4
The only thing that we are positively
sure ov in this life seems tew be the
only thing that we think amt never
going tew happen, and that is
death.
The greatest desire ov my life is tew
amuse somebody. / had rather be able
tew set the multiplicashun table to
some lively tune than to have bin the
author of it. ast
I Life is short, but if you motifs the way
some people spend their time, you
would suppose life was everlasting.
T The great advantage Of good breed
ing il that it makes the phools eudura
be-. ia, q
The snobs are ali either halt breeds
or dunghills.
Politeness IL the cheapest invest
ment / know ov; it IL like lighting
another man $ candle by yours. -
/ / rather admire the insolent civlllty
on bull-terrier, who only growls when
pass by him, but | never did like it
! in a man.
1t requires more good judgement
to know when tew talk, than what
tew say. ~ Fag
Good books, mi dear, are the best
friends yu kan hav; they never cloy,
and never will betray yu. .;lalY SGD
When a man gifts SO low down that
he IL willing to be despized he has
touched the bottom. g
.