The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-09-25
DONKEY DIVERSIONS.
An American Lady's Performance
on the Road TO an English Flower


show.
w. n. B. in st. Louis Republican.
Fired with q noble ambition to ride
a donkey 1--WE never had rid donkey,
a donkey was sent for. Arriving we
found the dear thing was very rough, as
tb ough he had never been groomed'
with q wonderful pair OF ears and a
hairless rope OF a tail, gray as if with
age, q downward droop of head and q
depreciating cast of couutenance-such
was my donkey in repose. He wasn't
80 far of, but the mounting was the
easiest part OF our acquaintance. The
rest OF my adherents went of to the
show in landau, while with dignity
passing description, brought up the
rear on my long-eared pony, | forgot
to mention q small red-headed cross
eyed boy who accompanied the expedl-
ton, armed with a young bean pole.
As we crossed q little green the proven
bal peryerseness Of the animal came
out and he browsed around regardless OF
the way in which l twisted his ears in
front and kicked at him behind, Il am
speaking of the Donkey. Up rushed
little Sorrel-top with the pole, and
screaming Hi! hiT he poked and
prodded the animal in the rear. With
every dig of the pole that donkey shut
up like an ACCORDION. A spinal con-
traction known only to the caterpillar
and the accordian took place that made
it matter of inquiry whether l went
over his head or tail.
Then my forbearance gave out and |
intimated to the youth we should take
it out OF him. The boy unhitched q
little rawhide tied at the saddle, and
gave Mr.; Donkey smart cut behind.
Whatever trying position fate may have
in store for you, my dear reader, pray
it may not be upon q donkey's back
when that Donkey conceives himself
wounded iu his finest feelings. Ia the
first place my donkey hiSted till | lock-
ed through his front legs and had a
esutiful reversed view of the village
helow. Then with conclusion heaven
;ud earth came together and
g, walked d rod on his hind legs.
number OF little villas fronted
lae green, and number of little viii
lains lined the road. The houses all
lad bay windows and the bay windows
all had occupants. Ny performance
WAS the centre OF attraction, and the
centre Of gravitation had very little at
traction for me. / recalled that other
distinguished American who had
achieved fame by riding a donkey,
and determined Grant should not so
down alone to posterity as the only
Yankee who had captured iackass.
And sll the while l was determining,
the donkey was kicking. Its beyond
belief how.high the critter can kick. de
seemed to be trying to throw the
whole back end OF himself away, and
when he came to the earth for fresh
start the big hoofs shook all Rich
mond.
This thing went on for some time,
and barring few steps taken on his
hind legs, he made no progress toward
the flower show or any other point OF
the compass. In one mad movement,
however, the instrument OF that
donkey's destiny lay in my hand. De-
scribing graceful circle that animals
tail came athwart my bows. | wasn't
slow to grapple it. If any donkey ever
thought mis- tail was concluded, that it
had been continued, like one Of Cobb's
stories, till the last chapter arrived, 1t
was my gray friend with the ears. Why
it didn't come out is problem to me
this day. For feeling that not only the
eyes of Richmond but the credit OF
America was on me, I took reef in that
tail and pulled. Then l took shorter
hold on that tail and pulled again.
Gradually calmness entered the beasts
legs, and laying its ears back as II the
tail was in direct communication with
them and they would ultimately be
pulled through to the rear, the mlsera-
BILE animal was induced to take up the
line of march, aud we all got to the
flower show. But l did not ride back
on a donkey.