The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-06-26
Che Tribilnf.
VARIETIES.

Cheese is mightier than the pen.
Mocking birds-Lean chickens fol
dinner.
Does the stern of the vessel support
the boughs?
8 If it wasn't for the law, a man could
make fortune in half the time.
That's my impression as the printer
said wien he kissed his sweetheart.
A woman with and umbrella is as dam
gerous as q man with a shot gun.
Maj. zeb Crummet says Islander is
envy's oldest child
Keep your room fresh. A salt rheum
isn't healthy.
''Oh, that's tooth in !" as the man said
when the dog bit him.
She who is not afraid of her conscience,
laughs at the opinion of men,
A drunken man In the Toledo jail wrote
on the wall of his cell, "Jug not, lest We
be also jagged"
Another Congressman-from Alabama
this time-has handed over his back pay
to his wife.
''He fell down dead and expired in
two minutes says Georgia paper of
the death of a negro.
A Poughkeepsie clerk loves the very
ground Highland widow walks upon.
1t is worth $500 an acre.
Cinnamon are said to make good mar
ket gardeners. No people like them for
Winding their peas and their ques.
An Indiana Sunday school man is re-
ported as ordering from New York some
library books, about pirates and Indians
as far as possible.
A Minnesota farmer lost gimlet,
three years ago. The other day he cut
down tree, and found in it three
inch auger. So much for putting a
thing out at interest.
An old shad fisherman of Springfield
says he ''feels down in the mouth the
run Of fish this season ant nothin' so
fur-merely shad-er of what it ought
to be-"
A little boy asked lady who made
her teeth. "My Creator" she replied.
"Well, !" said the youngster, CDR. Patch
en- made my mas, and they beat your'n
clean out o. sight.
Some one calls s'the race of American
women INDECENT" whereupon one of
them retorts, 81 wonder if that man
ever reflected upon the amount of shop
ping we do, and the willingness with
which we do it %
A woman in Columbia, Pa, lately dis
located her jaw while scolding her hus-
band, and could neither speak nor close
her mouth. Her husband has not walk
ed so slowly for ten years as he did while
going after the doctor.
A boy of the period astonished his
mother by saying, ST wish my father
would get another wife" Why, my
son % Because" replied the young
ster, ST am tired of seeing you around.
In the late editorial convention in
North Carolina, Capt. VIM. Biggs gave
in his experience as follows He has
been several years conducting newspa-
per, most of which had been spent in
raising the means of doing it.
The editor of an Illinois paper says
eve have established buzz saw in our
editorial sanctum. This destructive in,
strument is intended for the fiend in hui
man shape who drops in regularly to
wrestle with our exchanges.
An Indiana woman is mad because her
husband took her very best sheet to hang
himself, when there was an old clothes
line in the cellar which was good enough
for the purpose. She says he always
was extravagant, and too lazy to go into
the cellar for anything.
The coolest thing in the way of dying
all around, comes from the criminal
bench of Missouri. Recently while SEN
fencing prisoner to be hanged, the
judge thus delivered himself:
IF guilty, you richly deserve the fate
which a ,saits you; if innocent, it will
be gratifying for you to know that you
were hanged without such crime on
your conscience in either case you will
be delivered from world of care.