The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-02-08
ANECDOTES.

after the Greeley makeup. Settled among
the barren, rocky hills of Maine, where ex-
treme shrewdness or scratch hard was ab-
solutely necessary to prevent starvation
time and circumstances had served to
sharpen many original qualities that 90 to
make up the witty, sarcastic lawyer, without
a regular education. He had read much
and went about with dirty clothes, much
as all philosophers do. In fact, the hat and
coat had existed nearly as long as the owner,
while the shirts were usually changed after
they had been worn out. AS whole, the
old Squire was considered the intellectual
prodigy of the town. In the petty trials be-
fore smaller Courts, the small lawyers of the
neighboring towns had walked up his cutting
sarcasm once each, and shut down.
| After a time, circumstances drew him into
the Circuit Court, to defend poor widows
right in property, against the encroachments
of a certain scion of one of the aristocratic
families at the State capital. He was pitted
against a young, diamond pinned, ruffle-
shlrted pink of propriety, educated beyond
his calibre to bear, and exceedingly pomp-
Gus, with conceit and cheek enough to make
a member of the ring The old Squire was
making a hard fight, with his shrewdness
ptted against the greenbacks of his opulent
antagonist He had succeeded in unmask-
ing some things that were rather damaging
to the plaintiffs interests and to divert
attention from the points in question, Dia-
mond-pin began to throw out cursory aliu-
sions In regard to the old 'Squire's personal
appearance.
The old man, like Mcclellan, kept up
mastery inactivity" and let him spin
Flunkey found his scheme was working
somewhat, and resolved at one fell swoop
to lay his antagonist hors di combat Fling
ing his well-dressed body into majestic polse,
he abruptly inquired
"Mr. B, how often do you change
your shirt?"
The Court was in litter.
About once in a fortnight" rejoined
B..
A loud laugh followed, and then the
Court seemed to be waiting for fresh sally,
when the old Squire asked his majesty how
often he changed his?
Initiating the drawl of his antagonist,
Diamond-pin condescended to inform him
that he usually put on clean shirt as often
as once in twenty.four hours, The Court
was silent.
With look of astonishment on his face,
the old Squire came to his feet, and depre-
catingly pointed his attenuated finger at his
conceited antagonist, said
why, you dirty cuss you dirty fourteen
shirts to my ore"
The roars of laughter that followed were
irrepressible. Diamond-pin subsidized, and
the case proceeded. The widow came of
triumphant. Now, when Flunkey puts on
airs, it is only necessary to mention the
name of old Squire B, and he imme-
diately relapses into thoughtful silence.
GETTING SMOKE UNDER DIFFICULTIES
AS the train for Lowell started out of the
depot in Boston, recently, well-dressed
man walked through the smoking-car, and
as his hand was at the door, indicating his
purpose to pass into the next car, he sud.
denly stopped, as if uncertain as to his
whereabouts. and exclaimed, in a loud
clear voice, rs this the smoking-car ?" One
or two persons nodded, and as many more
answered, Yes;" but the answers were
not understood in the noise and obscurity
so he asked again, is this the smoking
carr" This time the answers were salts.
factory. The man wheeled around, and in
the same clear voice inquired, Has any
body got pipe?" The inquiry made a
second time brought the pipe. But this
was not enough. and he now inquired
Has any gentleman some tobacco?
Smokers are generally generous, and he
did not have long to wait; gentleman
who was quietly enjoying his meerschaum
extended to the fellow generous "hand'
of the desired article, while there was q
visible smile on the faces of all around
at the extensive exhibition of "cheek
But this was not all. The fellow had nc
knife; SO, standing with his borrowed pipe
in one hand and his begged tobacco in
the other, he again coolly called out, "Any
one lend me knife ?" His inquiry was
not in vain; knife was extended, and
with this borrowed stock he at last load
ed his pipe for cheap smoke, which we
hope he enjoyed to his entire satisfaction
We did not see him borrow a match tc
light his pipe, but have no doubt he did
so. If that chap does not succeed in thi;
world, it will hardly be because he is toe
modest and difident-Voc Popui.
ANEcDoTE OF GEN. GRANT. A CORE
spondent ofthe Louisville Commercial says
"A volunteer soldier of the late war
with whom am acquainted, a man of truth
and honor, who was with General Grant al
Vicksburg. and other important places, tell
the following: A fop of Lieutenant, with
a $500 suit on his back, kicked a soldier
who, among others, was unloading boat
but, as the Lieutenant thought, was rather
slow. A common looking man, without
shoulder straps. walked up to him and in
quired of him the company and regiment tc
which he belonged. He named them. Said
the man without shoulder straps, Go and
report yourself to your superior officer, dis
missed by order OF General Grant The
Lieutenant departed crest-fallen, and the
General rolled up his sleeves and assisted
the boys to unload the boat"
How He WAS SrLENcED.-At a recen
meeting in which there was much religious
interest, an old man gave expression to hi,
joy by shouting and continued it until il
began to interrupt the services. Brother Fl
said to Brother W., go stop that ole
mans noise" He went to him and spoke
a few words, and the shouting man at once
became quiet. Brother H. asked Brother
W., What did you say to the old man thai
xuieted him so promptly?" Brother w
replied, I asked him for a dollar for for
eign missions!"
The library of Mr.. Edwin Forrest was &
/ lato zt1 of