Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-11-28
10y our AERIAL REPORTER
A DIALOGUE,

Calculator. II say Jake, taking his pipe
out Of his mouth and raising his specta-
cles,) did you see the American of last
week, and what a thundren' blunder Will
vert made in your figures.
Editor. Yes, saw it, but it was only
figure four instead of five, u1aking the
assets of 1879, $40, ,1S4 10 instead of S55,.
194 13 as had it. supposed it a typo
graphical error, was rather glad of 1t as
it doesn't look as bad as l had it, and per-
haps 1t is well enough to say nothing
about it, for it would only prove his foot
ing up, correct.
Calculator. Takes Whit at his pipe,)
tell you what Jake, if we can make it
appear that he made mistake in your
figures the people won't believe the balance
of his statement, you see.
Editor. i was looking over his state
ment, and can't see how 10 contradict it.
For the more there is said about it the more
the people inquire into the matter, and
when they find he is correct, it will still
further condemn our party and well never
SeV lnlo power aSalu.
Calculator. LIN tell you what do, Jake,
LIN get up figures thatll knock thunder
right out of him and you'll publish them.
l have been figuring at his statement. and
can easily transposc the figures so they APP
! pear in our favor.
Elitor.-Why do you get the american?
Calculator. butI get to see it in
hotels and saloons. l figured on Drum
| heller's paper, and made comments Oh the
margin so if any one else looks at it they
will be puzzled, l tell you.
Editor. it rather dry TO set around
( in hotels and saloons?
| Calculator. oh no. the fact is, parties
coming.in and see me sitting there, they
invite me to drink with them.
Editor.-Wel but don't landlords object
to you scribbling on their papers.
| Calculator.- The fact is, LIN n
benefit to landlords. If would mt be there
they would be losing five or ten cents every
time party goes TO drink, and that is
worth more than the paper, don't you see ?
Elitor.-I understand your very prof.
cient in figures.
Cdlculdtor.-W 1 was considered the
best mathematician in the county at one
time. l puzzled all the school teachers
they could bring before me. Why Jake,
( the fact is, when l lived in the south, they
used to make bets on my calculations, so
| they did. / have made the calculations for
! hn Nj toly n
| sharper to discover how matters are cover
ed up tell you. IL also made out my
/ duplicate to collect the taxes, which the
/ Commissioners want me to settle, but l
/ think I'll wait until the Auditors meet.
/ In fact II have been of service to our par
ty while I've been one of the auditors. You
see it takes darnation smart fellow to
keep things covered up. In fact there isn't
man in the county that knows as much
about the county affairs as | do. Why
when looked over the audts in regard
/ to the M'Eliece matter, found, l think,
an error, and changed i. after the report
had been approved by the court. ! brought
out NJ Eliece's account six hundred dollars
less. think II ought to have position
in one of the county offices.
Eltor. Will they allow you to change
the auditors report after it is approved
by the court.
Calculdtor.-Why took that privilege.
You see the old reports amt looked after
and no one will be any the wiser.
Eltor. You must have been pretty
busy in studying out these matters.
Calculator.- Why you'd hardly believe
me Jake, IL was kept busy nearly every
evening figuring at my duplicates while l
was tax collector. IL employed all my
time figuring when setting in saloons ex-
cept when called up to take a drink. IL
made good deal ofmilitia tax by it, as no
one else would ever have collected it. In
fact l collected great deal from fellows
who are exempt
Edit0r.-Well, how are you going to fix
this matter of Wilvert's. | don't think I'm
competent to reply to it as he las taken it
right from the record.
Calculator. .-I-I'll get up the figures.
We dar'nt let the Democrats know that
he is right or they'll all go against us. III
make the calculation all in our favor and
you get Purdy to write the heading for it,
and put wood cut over the top, that'll
tickle the Democrats tell you.
EditOr.-All right. Make the case as
strong as you can.
Calculator. OF course this is all conf
dental. Got any tobacco about you.-
Hav'nt had smoke to-day.
Edito,.-No, l don't use it. Do you
ever buy any tobacco9
Calculator. Sometimes l do, when l
can't beg any. In fact don't use much.
pulls down his spectacles, gives his pipe a
Whit, and seizes his cane and leavcs.)
Not long since, every Democratic paper
in the county was bowling over the danger
Of 81 oasarsn, fra i'll thaf Pros iIant q 10 nj