davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
agit aud 4a'uor.
PraetioaI JOke.

While we were lying in camp at Ros-
seville, Georgia, the sixtieth illinois re-
turned from their fnrlough with number
OF recruits. One of these having exhaust
ed his supply Of clean shirts, and not
having learned TO be his own laundress,
asked veteran where he could get some
washing done.
ado you see those tents there by the
church, Well, go there, and ask Mr..
Morgan; he does washing. He is u
erusty old cuss, but ii you talk pretty nice
to him he'll do it for you
The recruit went as directed, and found
General Morgan walking in front Of his
tent, dressed, as was his usual custom, IN
the uniform Of a high private.
"Where will find Mr.. Morgan p asked
the recruit,
"My name is Morgan. What viii you
haye?
~ came to see if l could get some
clothes washed"
"H-m-m. Who sent you here to get
your clothes washed p
John Smith over here in the sixtieth. y
Corporal Of the gaurdl" (The corporal
approached and saluted.) "Young man,
go with the corporal, and show him John
Smith, so that he can bring him over
here. And you come back with him and
bring all the dirty clothes you have"
They departed and soon returned with
the guilty veteran and a huge armful Of
dirty shirts, socks, etc.
The General to Smith-"Did you send
this young man here to have his clothes
washed?"
"Yes, sir, for joke"
"For a joke Well, we'll have the joke
carried out. We do have clothes washed
here sometimes. Corporal, take this man,
Smith, and that bundle Of clothes down to
the creek, and have him wash them, fold
them neatly, and return them to the own.
err See that he does the job up hand.
somelyw
The veteran went away to his work
sorrowfully, and the General resumed hi,
walk.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
How to Get Along.

Do not stop to tell stories in business
hours. IL you have place Of business,
be found there when wanted. No man
can get rich BY sitting round stores and
saloons. aNever fool in business matters.
Have order, system, regularity, liberality,
and promptness. Do not meddle with
business you know nothing Of. erbuy
an article you don't need, simply because
il is cheap, and the man who sells it win
take il out in trade. Trade in money.
Strive to avoid hard words and personaii-
ties. De not kick every stone in the path
More miles can be made in day 10 going
steadily on than by stopping. Pay as you
90. A man of honor respects bis word as
his bond Aid, but never beg. Help
others when you eau, but never give what
you can't afford to, simply because il is
fashionable. Learn. to say ''no." No
necessity Of swapping it out dog fashion,
but say it firmly and respectfully. Have
but fey confdants the fewer the better.
Use your own bruins rather than those Of
others. Lnarn to think and act for your
self Be vigilant. Keep ahead rather
than behind the times.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29


a question has arisen and been argued
before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court Is
TO the validity Of what is known as a tenn
per4uce .'loeal option" law. By bare
majority Of the Court il has been held
constitutional n the dissenting opipian
Of chief-Jpstiee Read, We note the follow
ing passage referring to Massachusetts
Il is notorious that liquor could be had
in every hotel, restaurant, and oyster sa-
loon IN Boston. The law Is 10 fact 4
dead letter there the evil being 70 en-
courage deception, falsehood and fraud,
and to acenstom citizens to q daily viola
tion Of law. Messrs. Reuter- & Alley. of
Boston, are the most extensive brewers ! n
the United States, producing $4,000 bar
rels Of ale per annum. In Massachusetts,
the people were spending two pounds sler-
ling per head on strong drinks III face Of
the Maine Liquor law. We are all for
the. Maine law, said man to Mr., MeRca,
but we are against It's enforcement.
The brewers IN PHILADELPHIA produce
60O,0 900 barrels Of mat liquor annually,
giving employment to nearly 100, 900 saen,
and consuming in its mapniacture 300
900 buehels of barley, Of the value Of 81. 10
per bashel. Ale is q healthy liquor, and
lager beer is favorite bevesr-e, particu-
larry Of our large German population. The
question Of license is to be submitted TO
the citizens of Philadephia at the next
general election, and If the vote Is against
license then the city will be under pro
hibitory liquor law during the whole cen
tennial celebration, to which we have IN
yited the whole country.
''0n the 4th Of July, l776, every pa
triot drank to the Independence OF the
thirteen States. Shall il be that on the
4th Of July, 1876, all we can lawfully offer
to our guests on this great anniversary will
be glass Of Schuylkill water, seasoned
with lump Of Knickerbocker ice r
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

The New York Eraing Post points out
that It is purely accidental that the begin
ming Of the Presidential and Congressional
terms should date from the fourth Of
March. II happens thus; BY resolu-
tion Of the last Congress held under the
articles of Confederation, passed Septeu-
Der l3, 1888, il was provided that electors
should be ehosen on the first Wednesday
Of the next January; that the President
aud Vice President should be elected on
the first "Wednesday in February and that
the new government should be organised
at New York. on the frat Wednesday Of
March That day happened to be on the
fourth day Of the month, and, inasniuch as
the Constitution itself axes The prcsiden.
tial term at four and the Congressional
term At two years. Il follows that such
terms must always close at midnight on ibe
third day Of March.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
Advice to Young Gentlemen.

The beaux of Hagerstown, Md, impose
upon the bellies of that place, by keeping
them up until a late hour Of the night,
which has induced sensible young lady
to offer them the following good advice,
through the columns of T,eice-a- Week:
"Dear gentlemen, between the ages of
l6 and u, listen TO a few words Of gratu-
itous advice; When you make a social
call Of an evening on a young lady, 20
away ut reasonable hour Say you come
at 8 o'clock an hour and half is certain
ly as long us the most fascinating Of you
in conversation eau desire to use his charms.
Two hours indeed can be very pleasantly
spent with music, chess, or other games.
10 lend variety but, kind sir, by no means
stay longer. Make shorter calls and come
oitener. A girl that is sensible, tru :
hearted girl will-enjoy il better, and really
value your acquaintance more. Just i'm
agine the agony Of girl who well knowing
the feelings of father upon the subject,
hears the clock strike 10 and yet must sit
on the edge of her chair, in mortal terror,
lest papa should put his oft-repeated threat
into execution.-that Of coming down aud
inviting the gentleman to breakfast. We
girls understand it all by experience, and
know what il is to dread prognostic of
displeasure. In such cases a sigh of relief
generally accompanies the closing of the
door behind the gallant, and one doesn't
get over the feeling OF trouble till safe in
the arms of Morpheus.
snow young gentlemen friends, I'll tell
you what we girls will do. For an hour
and half VIC will be as irresisiibly charm
ing and fascinating as possible-then, be-
ware! Mouosyllabic responses will be all
you need expect; and if when the limits
shall have been passed startling query
shall be heard coming down the stairs Ism /
il time to close up ?'-you must consider
it righteous punishment and meekly depart,
sadder, and we hope, a wiser man. Do
not get angry, but next time you come be
careful TO keep within bounds. We want
to rise early these pleasant mornings and
improve the shining hours" but when
forced to be up at such unreasonable hours
at night, exhausted nature will speak and
as natural consequence with the utmost
speed in dressing We can barely get down
to breakfast in time to escape from papa,
who dosen't believe in bcaux--as though
he had never been young--and a reprov.
ing glance from mamma, who understands
little better a poor daughteks feelings
but still must disapprove outwardly to keer
up appearances.
"And now, young men, think about
these things, and don't, for PHYS sake
don't throw down your paper with i
'Pshaw ! but remember the safe side ol
ten"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
Select guetrg.
Return Of Spring.


The voice Of Spring is whispering
Cheerful songs unto the moor
Little warblers' pipes are singing
Songs they oft have sung before,
Nature, darling mother nature,
Holds aloft her shining wand
Strewing Flora's path with flowers,
Identifying all the land.
A yellow, golden, tropic sun,
Melting winters ice and snow,
The same old work II Oft has done,
Changing gloom into n glow.
Zephyrs here and there are sighing,
Signing for the golden lore,
Frosty winter left when dying,
For the zephyr's earthly store.
And zephyrs fan the babbling brook
Into joyous rippling;
And music from each tiny nook,
Blend with the murmuring fountain.
The same old sang Of spring
That greets us on our waking
Whispering to the "wee sma- hours"
oflovely springs returning.
Soon we'll roam with joy unbounded
Ger the emerald meadows bloom
Drink the nectar from its blossoms,
And inhale its aweet perfume.
Let our sorrows go with winter,
And our hearts cling unto sprihg;
Like the nectar from its blossoms,
Joy unto our hearts twill bring.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

Although Califcrnia-raised hops are not
unknown in the Eastern market, it may
not be generally known that they can be
raised only in the winter The colder the
weather, the better che vine Is said to
thrive, and in clear, frosty nights, il hns
been known to grow an inch in Eve hours
It bears beautiful, snow-white flowers,
something like tube-roses, only much more
fragile and fragrant d Ladies' wear them
at evening parties, Thcse flowers open
only q night, and wither in the lay-time
When the mercury Is lowest and the snow
erispest, then this delicate flower opens is
petals and iills the frosty air with its per-
fume.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
A Swift Marriage.

Dean Swift was walking in the Phoenix
road, Dublin, when thunder-shower came
on, aud he took shelter under tree, where
a party was sheltering aso, two young
women and two young men. One Of the
girls felt very sad, and, as the rain fell,
her tears fell. The Dean inquired the
cause, and learned that it was their we'd
ding day they were on their way to the
church, and now her white clothes were
wet, and she couldn't 20. "Neyer mind !;
you, said the Dean, and he took out his
prayer-book, and there and then married
them, their witnesses being present; and
to make the thing complete, he tore leaf
from his pocket-book, and with his pencil
wrote certificate, which he handed to
the bride, 1t was as follows:
"Under q tree, in stormy weather,
! married this man and woman together
Let none but Him who rules the thunder
Sever this man aud woman asunder.
JoSATHAS SWIFT, DEAs ofSt. Patrick s. :"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

GONE BACK ON THE DocUMENT.-A
short time since colored man entered the
Office Of the Clerk of the County Court,
and advancing to table where the Deputy
Clerk was busily engaged, he produced a
marriage license for which he had paid the
legal fee few days before.
"Bos," said he, poking the license under
the nose of the absorbed Deputy.
"What is it ?" was the inpatient re-
sponse.
''Boss," continued the darkey, "de lady
declines dis document, and fotch it in to
git my money back"
1t was little consoling to the darkey to
be told that some men went further and
Jared worse, but when assured his money
could not be returned, he turned indignant
ly on his double sSed pumps and muttered
as he made his exit, "Ebery body's gone
back on de document - WarTentoa Inder.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

HoRsE RACINE AT FArRs.-The right
Of managers Of County Agricultural soci-
cites to permit horse racing at their an
nual exhibitions, is to be tested up in
Washington county, Penn. Previous to
the fair held in that county last Fall, Dr..
lie Moyne notified the authorities Of the
association that he should enter suit If
horse racing or trotting was allowed, but
no attention was paid to his notice The
Doctor has instituted proceedings against
the managers. and the point al issue will
be subjected to the most rigid legal inFes-
tigation. The result Of this case viii be
looked upon with considerable interest. =.
Tprf Field and Farm.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

AN EoG SToRY.--During the war, one
of the Northern hotel-keepers was on a
visit to Norfolk. The eggs came to the
table boiled hard
"Look here" said the hotel keeper,
"Sambo, these eggs are bold too hard.
Now take my watch, and boil them three
minutes by it"
"He gave the negro his splendid gold
watch. In about FIVE minutes, the freed
m n returned with the eggs and watch en-
the same plate. The watch was wet.
"What have you been doing with my
watch !. asked the Northern visitor.
"Why, its all wet !"
"Yes, sah,' said the negro. 81 billed
de watch wild de eggs. All right dis
time, sab !"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

| say Jim, what is the difference be-
tween the commencement and the begin
ming Of anything?"
Il don't know" said jim "what is
There amt any was the reply.
81 see, replied Jim. .'Now you tell
me this: A mule was on one side of a
river and some hay on the other, and the
mule wanted to get the hay without wet
ting his feet. How did he doit?"
81 don't know said Jones II give il
up"
$50 did the other long cared animal, =
said Jim.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

Il is remarkable that every day in the
week Is BY different nations devoted to the
public celebration Of religious services.
Sunday by the Christians, Monday BY the
Greeks, Tuesday by the Persians, Wed
nesday by the Assyrians, Thursday by the
Egyptians, Friday BY the Turks, Saturday
BY the Jews.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

"Six feet in his boots? exclaimed Mr.
Partington What win the impudence OF
this world come to, wonder? Why they
might as well tell me that man had six
heads In his hat"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

A widow in Dorchester. Mass. has been
three times married Her first husband
Was Robb. the second, Robbins, and the
third, Robinson. The same door-plate
has served for the whole three, and the
question now is, what extended name can
be procured to gil out the remaining space
on it.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

"My brudders," !" said a waggish collored
man TO . crowd, sin all afiliction, in all oh
your troubles, dar is one place you can al
ways find sympathy
eWhar whar ?" shouted several.
'ln dc dictionary" he replied, rolling
his eyes skyward,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

Henry Clay once accused John Ran
dolph Of being an aristocrat. In a voice
whose shrill,piercing tones, penetrated every
ear in the House, Randolph exclaimed:
"Ifa man is known by the company he
keeps, the gentleman who just sat down is
more Of an aristocrat than | claim to be
for he spends most of his nights in the
company Of kings and queens aud knsves.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

Profase swearing Is abominable, vulgar
language is disgusting, loud laughter Is
impolite, inquisitIveness Is offensive, tat
tling Is mean, telling falshood Is contemp.
tible, ignorance is disgracefal, and laziness
Is shameful. Avoid all the above vices,
and aim at usefulness.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

"Is this seat occupied q asked an ex-
quisite Of an old lady. ~ don't know"
said she, running her hands over the sur.
face, ~ feels mostly like plush, but You
cant always tellr
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

REMEMBER THIs.--No man can ever
borrow himself out Of debt If you wish
for relief, you must work for Il. You
must make more and spend less than yon
did while you were running in debt.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

+" Are dose bells ringing for Ere ? inqui-
red Simon, Of Tiberius aNo, indeed,
Tibc, dey hab got plenty Of Ere, and Dc
bells are ringing for wnter."
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

You're man after my own heart,
as the cook said when she let her beau
in at the back gpte.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29

Gov Austin. Of Ninneeola, Officially
states lhst the number Of Iixoa Iuat d1riaz
the great snoe-ss IN that State b ] -
uary last IS eighty one, ne*inat q Ieh< GzII-
dred as published at The time
, 1873-04-08
THE CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUNE: TUESDAY, APRIL 8, 1873

suited in favor Of J. II. Cameron, tho presont
Incumbent boating Capt. Kollogg by four votos:
CohuMnuss, O., April 7.-Tl,o election passed.
otf Tory quietly. 11,o returns como In 30 glowly
that anything mora than crude glcs4es aro ,,eo-
candidate for Mayor, is oiootod. nlc1sloy md
Baker, both Domooratio candidates for tho Com
Htt1tionnl Convention. arc probably eleotod.
DAYTON, O., March Tito oleotion paasod Oft
without excitomont. Tito Democratic city ticket
Is mostly ctocted In tho Council and School
Board; representatives for tho Constitutional
Convention, Clay, Democrat, and shultz, Ropub-
lica1,, arc probably clootod III Montgomery Coun-
ty..
Miles, Mich, April 7.-Nilos city and townalnp
have gono Democratic by IN Incroasod majority,
owing to tho dissatisfaction existing In tho Ro-
publican ranks, on account Of tho nomination OF
a oitizens ticket.
!, BATON RopoE, April 7.-!rhe municipal ,olec-
TICK oRot ttos as edposd pssepa 1a S auo dso %ne h'Hny
:. ANNAPOLIS, Md., April 7.-Tho ontiro Rorub-
1ican ticket for Mayor. Recorder, .and four
Aldermen waa elected to-day by majoritlos rang
Ing from 100 to $50.
, 1873-04-08

0ifloera slayton and Gallagher yesterday re-
covered q, 600 worth Of millinery goods, whloh
wora stolen from tho store of l.. j. Hobson d
Co., Nos, 436 and 437 Wabash ayonuc, last Fri
day night. Tho goods wero found In tho pawn
shop Of A. ]. Andrews d; Co., No. 69S State
street. The officers worked tho case up
with groat skill, and tho capture of tho thiovea
will not bo long delayed.
Mack, who rosides Of No. 40 Norton stroot, was
run over by awitch engine on tho Pittsburgh,
Cincinnati l. st. Louis Railroad on Knzio street,
near tho corner Of May. Both legs wero cut off
below tho lneo. Mack was intoxicated, and fell
in front OF tho ongine while attempting to cross
tho track hofor0 1t. Roundamnn Simmons saw the
accident. and carried the wounded man to storo
near by. DR.. Robert Hartoourt amputated both
1eng.
, 1873-04-08
LOUISVILLE.
board OF Trndo McetIng--Lottery
Pohtp0nennont.

board OF Trndo mcet1ng--Lottery
Pohtponemont.
LOUISVILLE, KY, April 7.-Tho annual moot
ing OF the Board Of Tralo occurred tonight.
Tho Treasurers report showed IN expenditure
Of %, ,0oo during the year; balance on
bank, 1925; membership. 26o tirms James III.
Duncan, President Of tho Planters National
Bank, was re-elooted President. md Frank 2.
Smith, of J. Paters & Co., J. D. Allen, of piott
d Allen, z. I. Jofferson, Of Jefferson BroB.,
elected Vlce-preBidents. bIuoh qualification was
oxprossed at the favorable auspices under which
the Board begins its new yoar.
Tho Public Library lottery drawing advertised
for tomorrow has boon postponed, ~ was gen.
orally anticipated. It will take place July g.,
and GOV. Bramlotto In his card an
nouncing It, says,. It is postponed In
order to havo q full drawing, which he
positively promises, In yiov Of The extraordi~
nary large number Of tioketa already sold. Five
hundred Thousand dollars have. accordingly,
been deposited in tho Farmors' g. Droyora'
Bank, to pay the prizea III full, and can only DO
uscd for that purpose.
, 1873-04-08
WALL STREET.
Review OK tho Money, Gold, bond,
Stock, and Produce MARKETS..

Review OK tho Money. Gold, bond,
Stock, and Produce Mnri1ots.
Special Utspatch 10 The Chicago Tribune.
NEW YonK, April 7.-Tho chiof featuro Of
Wall atroot to-dny was tho sudden change from
comparative caHo to sharp staingoncy In tho
money MARKET Early in tho day loans Were
mado at LILO, but later tho rates were 8-1o to Il
until long after o'clock. It is reported TINT
Philadclphia drow $4,000, 600 legal tondera from
New York on Saturday, and this was
givon as ono rcaaon for tho Btrin-
gcnoy to-day. Money is still coming
In from tho interior, and tho e1pross
companies report tho aggregate receipts aa quito
largo during tho past throo days.. It is charged
that Bono Of tho banks havo been doing largo
business On the street 1oaning money at uaurious
rates OF interest. Tho allusion Of Recorder
Haokott to theme shylooks in Ills charge to tho
GRIND Jury this morning was met dedantly by
the londers or money, and threats arc made that
money which last week commanded on tho avor-
from the market entirely. There was naturally
much o1oitomont oyor tho sharp upward turn
in money, and borrowers Who neglected
groat difficulty in obtaining currency even at
current rates. Mercantile paper is neglected aud
nominal.
Tes less active md lowor, closing at 11a1{ tits
pulse Of the market preliminary to 4 further nd
vance.
wero firm at the opening, but whom money I'd
enauod. Harlem declined from n i25 I to o. 12415. ~.
advanced to 12694, and sold at 125@126
in late afternoon dealingB. Panama rose from
1o8A to 1904, and later reacted to lo311, tho
was owing to reports Of 40 unfavorablo exhibit 1t
tho annual moeting Of tho Panama Directors this
afternoon. The Stock Exchange will be cloHod
on Good F9iday. Foreign oxchange continues
Govornmonts closed firm at IN advance, not
withHtanding tight money and lower gold. A
leading German banking Arm bought 3800. 900
to-day for shipment, ehioay 1856, now aud old,
1906, l867s. and 10-40a. The Hnmo firm has
since tho opening Of the yoar.
PRODUCE.
Flour was quiot, will, q limtod inquiry for tho
low grades. Medium grades close 100 to loo low"
Shipping branda aro scarce. Sales, e,9o0 bills;
receipts, Il, ,258 br!s. Tho market for wheat was
t tame. Shippers hold on, mil1ors buy
has s bagssrs bons fef Of R5osn M1ooo T1ns qhss so
May md first half Of June at s1.68. Sales,
md moderately active, with anles Of 200 br1s at
sl7:l275 f9E N3r new nnoss, and s12.5o for unin-
5B 5Bs'fGa ss 0a or s for s fSsurs dsgs5 sVsn
at s1725 Receipts, 81 pkgs. In cut meats thero
ia light business, the want Of ocean freights
still Interfering with tho export tra1o. Sales
Of dry sailed shoulders woro at about 7o;
pickled hams, 1194@19o, as to weight. Receipts,
2,e18 pkga. Bacon ruled firm, with sales Of 200
bo1es for this month at 10 for long, and 91ao
for short clear. Lard ruled quiet and the mar
ket WAS rather unsettled, with sales OF 200 tos
steam at 85{c. For future delivery April is held
At 90; Nay, 0]So and June 95Sc. RoceiptB, 2,140
pigs.