The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1873-10-16
A Cheeky Conductor.

A Cheeky Conductor.
On certain railway the officers though,
the conductors were pocketing-"knock
ing down'-too large share of the receipts
from passenger fares. Detectives were
employed, who demonstrated the fact to q
certainty. The Vice President, therefore,
summoned one of them before him, when
the following dialogue ensued:
"Mr. r., how long have you been en-
ployed as conductor on our road?"
"About seven years, sir"
"What pay have you received during
that timer"
Eight hundred dollars year."
do you own the house No. - upon
- street,"
II do, sir"
Have you other property in this cityr
II have"
"What is its value?"
"Well, sir, l can't tell precisely, but it is
considerable"
what estimate do you place upon your
entire assets?"
Something like $4,000"
"Were you the owner OF any portion OF
this !p% property when you entered our ser
"Not dollars worth, sir"
"You have family to support, I under
stand?"
II have wife and three children"
"Win you do me the favor to inform
me how you have been able in seven years
to support your family and accumulate a
fortune of &c, 600 upon a salary of $SO0s'
II have not the slightest objection to
answer your question, Colonel s., pro-
vided you will suffer me first to PROFOUND
few pertinent in.errogatories to YOU"
Very we'll, sir, I've no objections. What
are they?"
"Will you, then, be so kind as to inform
me how long you have been connected
with the - Railway"
Something like ten years."
what allow me to ask, has been your
salary during that timer
II suppose it may have averaged about
5000 year."
"You have family to support if am
not mistaken"
Eyes, sir, have family"
IF it is not an improper question, Col
onel s., will you suffer me to ask what
is the amount of your fortune?"
"Well, sir, don't know precisely, but
it is something handsome"
"Would you estimate it at half q mil.
lion dollars, Colonelr'
"Yes, dare say it is"
"That being the fact, sir, if you will do
me the favor to disclose to me the secret
of the process by which you, in ten years,
have been able to transmute $4,000 into
ten times that amount, without any visi-
BILE means outside your salary, I will most
cheerfully tell you how have managed,
by turning an honest penny now and
then, to amass the comparatively insig.
niflcant amount have named"
"That is all very well," replied the i'm
perturbable Vice President, "but you
seem to have forgotten that there is a
slight difference between your status and
mine upon the-railway, in that you are
responsible to me for stealing the COM
pany's money, whereas am not account
able to you for my transactions. In view
Of this fact, it now becomes my duty to
inform you that your services are no
longer required upon our road"
The facetious conductor probably an
ticipated this result, and with his char
acteristic GOODNESS remarked: I'm that
event, sir, it may at some future time be-
come necessary for me to seek employ
ment upon another road. Would it be
asking too much tor you to give me a
letter settlng IOrtn your esumate OF my
ability to perform the duties of con.
ductor?"
IF you desire it, certainly have no
objections to giving you testimonial to
the effect that look upon you IS the most
INSCRIPTIONS and unblushing knsve that
has ever disgraced the catalogue of our
employees, and that any company having
anything to do with you will be morally
certain to be robbed. "-Harper's Magazine
for October.