The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-10-03
VARIETIES.

,. 3
| A GOOD summer resort-Home.
/ 81 A THoRouGH washerwoman-Sal Soda.
A MnsuMMfR Nights Dream-Mos-
quitoes. @ ' '7' ''' GER
How TO keep out of hot water-Join
the Baptists.
THE American Holy Land-The petro-
leum district.
| THE best time for bread making is in
| the hour of need.
If there is one thing loafer doesn't
deserve it is loaf. r.....-..-
SOME people are wise one day and
otherwise the next. .f ....-
| "MNNY men, many minds, says the
old proverb but how many men one
meets without any mind at all
WHAT is the difference between q
hangman and a gambler? One ropes
people in, and the other ropes people
out. ." rt-.~ -t'lHl-a'sF
"Ir is very curious" said an old gen.
tleman to his friend, "that watch
should be kept perfectly dry when there
is running spring inside" E-I
WHILE compositor on the Montreal
Witness was setting mp an advertise
ment for a lost canary, the bird few IN
at the window, (which shows the
value of advertising.
THE wind was damp with coming wet,
II When James and blue-eyed Lizzie met;
He held gngham Ger his head,
.. And to the maiden thus he said:
"oh, lovely girl, my hearts afire
With loves unquenchable desire;
Ssy, dearest one, wilt thou be mine,
And join me in the grocery line? 2"
The maid in accent sweet, replied:
Jim, hold the umbrella more my side,
My bran new bonnet's getting wet
/ III marry you, you needn't fret"
THERE is livery stable keeper in Al
bany who won't let his horses to anybody
without exacting promise that they
viii drive slow. One day youth who
wanted to go to funeral applied to the
livery man for a horse. ''My friend,
YOU can have one if you'll agree to
drive SLOW" "Well, see here, I'm
going to q funeral, and I'm bound to
keep up with the procession if it kills
the horse"
THE lady who tapped her husband
gently with fan at party the other
night, and said, Fl" Love, it's growing
late, I think We had better go home" is
the same who after getting home shook
the rolling pin under his nose and said,
"You internal Old scoundrel,J if you
ever ever look at that mean, nasty, calico
faced, mackerel-eyed thing that you
lookeo at tonight, I'll bust your head
wide open" st "i
THE following sentence, written out
full, was lately pronounced by a Justice
of the Peace in Guinnett county, Ga:
"let the prisner Stan Up. yu, sir, has
bin Found Guilty. 4 tried nv the Offense
of shutin at your Nabor. Iu shal then
be took from the bar NV this court by
the honoroble baleef of this court, and
carved into the adjinen county NV rok-
Dale, & thar yu shall remain in Ever
Iastin punishment forever from the hon
orable county of guinnett.
An absent-minded smoker named
Yancy undertook to whisper something
of importance in the ear of old Mr..
Reynolds, Saturday, but in his absent
mindedness neglected to remove his
cigar, the fire end of which was driven
right into the old gentleman's ear. MIR.
Reynolds jumped straight up in the air
about six feet, and on coming down
split Yancy's nose by well directed
blow. Yancy picked himself up, and
started for home, declaring in a rage
that he'd be hanged before he'd tell old
REYNOLDS what he was going to.-Dai-
bury Neaos.
] STRONG, FOR 4 MINISTER