Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-02-06
from the New York World.1


Mr. Charles Darwin must be very
disagreeable man to have about ones
house. A chronic interviewer is a
person to be lodged, and hypochon-
driac invited to dine with mad house
Doctor cannot be expected to display
much ap ppetite. But Mr.. Darwin has a
foible in the matter Of his studies which
makes him more to be dreaded than
Boguey himself He has been looking
at people for twenty-five years, Ivy his
own admission. with view to detect
certain phenomena in the facial and
other muscle which will 90 to corrob-
crate his great theory about species,
He has peeped over the edge Of cradles
and watched the innocent chubby,
smiling faces Of infancy, and smiled "a
gain, but not from affection, but because
he saw things to confirm his views.
He has sat at the table and watched maid
ems mince and portly gentlemen gorge
their food, courteously plying his hos
pitalities and leading them on, to make
them display their ''points' of express
sion more openly. He has stood by with
glances Of furtive appreciation while
young people whirled in the giddy
mazes of the dance, or firted in win
dows, or let grand passions shake their
bosoms in the recesses of dim alcoves.
He has critically given himself up to
the raptures Of eloquent divines, and
recreated in the simple, unconventional
gambols Of childhood, and scanned the
mantling bushes of timid maidenhood,
and searched out the sacred secrets of
maternal love, questiond art, and struck
full-handed the various harp Of beauty
for what 70 gather evidence that,
in our highest as we'll as our lowest
passions, we express ourselves like the
brutes whom he charges us with being
descended from. We may, indeed, be
unfortunate in our remote ancestry, but
we fancy at least that We have outgrown
the connection, and it is impolite, as
well as impolitic, to talk of ropes to
those whose parents have been hung.
We should fancy, if Mr.. D. were in
so unfortunate as to live in Chicago,
and were caught looking into his cradle
to see if the grimaces Of his colie-wrung
infant were not essentially ape-like his
wife would be deemed to have good
ground for an action of divorce. We
feel satisfied that were Mr.. d. to in
vite some of our "Americans abroad
to dine with him, and were to reveal
his real thoughts when bcholding them
thrust their knives down their throats
in that unhappy way which so called
forth Mr.. Thackeray's sympathics, it
would be case for revolvers. Would
Nh Darwin be SO injudicious as to ad-
vertise the popular preacher under
whose ministry he has been sitting.
that his gestures and the workings Of
his mouth remind the philosopher Of
nothing so much as Mr.. Carl lyle's Dead
Sea apes? Would he dare to evolve
the exquisite coy blush and titterins &
Oh, don't .''with which Arabel!a per-
mits Claude to squeeze her hand or brush
her checks with his neat mustache,
literally from the rage Of the vulture
or the love of turtle? But expression
human expression, we mean-fails
us, and we do not care to resort to an
cestral notes to give vent to our repug.
names at the idea Of Mr.. Darwin COM
ing among US and taking notes, like
Captain Grose, with a view to printing
them. We demand to know If John
Tynlall is any such person.