The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-04-03
GENERAL ITEMS.

WISCONSIN grows blHlDer lOr mastS |
$50 feet long.
WHY are old maids oddG Because they
are unmatched.
II three miles make league, how many
make conference?
WHEN is woman not a woman
When she is a belle.
THERE are fifteen hundred and sixty
postoflices in Iowa.
A GIRLS school for type-setting has
been opened in Vienna.
Your genuine cockney is always IA
nous for 'alf-and-'
CANNIBAL's epitaph: "Write me as
one who loves his fellow-men."
WHEN is the weather most like crock
cry shop? When it's muggy.
IT is said in Washington the almighty
dollar is almightier than ever.
In Wall street, when broker can't bull
the market, he grins and bears it.
CALIFORNIA gold miners have taken to
prospecting by the artesian method.
The feast of agination-Having no
dinner, but reading a cookery book.
Do not imagine an individual is going
to spin ayarn because he knits his brow.
COOP news for Observation-Disclosures wear
their dresses longer than they used to do.
THoUGH fine feathers make fine birds,
fine birds don't always make fine feath-
ers.
In 1862 Texas had but twenty-one con-
victs in her State Prison. In 1872 there
were 944.
Eggs are said to be very scarce in Ohio,
because the hens are in the habit of mis-
laying them.
How do you know house is often
hungry? Because we see the chimney
swallow flies.
IT'S way with tailors to recommend
things which are much worn when you
want to buy new.
oman is mystery said young lady
to her beaux. "Yes, DEAR" said he, ''and
girl is misery"
A New HAMPSHIRE pedagogue says he
has more pupils in his eye than any other
man in the State.
GOOD DR.. Dwight once said "He that
makes little child happy for one hour is
a fellow-worker with God"
MORE than 100000 cf briar-wood
and other wooden tobacco pipes are
made yearly in this country.
VERMoNT-where, as is well known, no
liquor is sold, has 10000 drunkards, 1000
habitual "hard drinkers" and 10000
young men just beginning to drink.
THE orange is a very hardy tree, will
stand more rough treatment or neglect
than any other fruit trees and is very long
lived, bearing undimnished crops for a
century.
KANSAS girls in great numbers are sign
ing a pledge not to marry any man who
drinks. There. is great temperance re-
vival going on in nearly all of the West
ern States.
A COLORADO woman's triumphs arc
thus set forth: Half an acre of tobacco.
three corn fields, twenty-eight turkeys,
and church congregation in which she
leads the choir.
BRET HARTE's stepfather is dying and
coming to life again all over the country.
No event since the formation of the Fed
eral Constitution has afforded such an ar
gument in favor of the resurrectioniSts.
OLD topers in England feel themselves
to be patriots and bear becoming port
since the Earl of Derby has sail, speaking
about the tax on liquors, /" We have drunk
ourselves out of the Alabama difficulty
during the past year."
THE gathering of the tribes has made
little progress as yet, Palestine, according
to the late census, having Jewish popll-
lation Of only 5,293 souls. OF these S,00C
Tiberias, and 400 in Hebron.
THE Delaware peach growers honestly
admit that the prospect for good crop
this year is as favorable as last year, whcl
an immense crop was harvested. The
"eyes of the world are on little Della
ware;" so far as early peaches go, at any
rate.
The passage, by both Houses of Con
gress, of the bill authorizing the laying
of the new telegraph-cable between Cali
fornia and Japan gives kind of official
sanction to that enterprise, and will
probably insure its success. This is the
last link in the great electric chain. and
when it is completed, we shall be able tc
put girdle round the earth in a shorter
time than Puck.
The Quebec Mercaoyis trying to shame IL;
who have been complaining Of the severity
of the winter here, with the pretense that
Quebecians are in love with temperature
of a daily average of 10 to 15 deg. below
zero. 1t says that "with bright sunshine
and even moderate wind, the city ma.
irons, bcauX, and bellies, never think OF
missing their daily promenade simply be-
cause the thermometer marks 10 deg. be-
low zero and we have met the most deli
cate women out and far from home wher
the mercury was 80 degrees below Zero
Let us go to Quebec-in August.