The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-11-29

PERPLExED.-An unimagnatiye Englishman,
IN visiting the Falls of Niagara, was greatly per
picked at the astonishment expressed by hs COM
paniOns and on one Of them exclaiming To him,
:. f. it not a most wonderful fall?'' replied,
Wonderful No; | see nothing wonderful in
It Why. what's to hinder that water from
falling? =
NEW SEr.-Scene IN 4 Cincinnati court
tcharge assault upon hOusekeeper) .-'' Did she
ever ask You to marry her." - Yes :" What
lid YOU say2-' - / told her wait until her
teeth were grown - What did she say then ."
Nothing" What did she do?'' - Went
down town and bought new set OF teeth. "
'ase dismissed
How SHE WEST To YosBurE.-Accordingt to a
california paper. young lady, in telling gen.
rIemun about her Yosemite trip, said the scenery
was gorgeous, perfectly ravishing, but she didn't
like thei- style of lOcomOtiOn up there - How 3
thnt2-' srid her friend - how did you loco
not.?'- Why, don't you think, she replied,
30 had 10 ride Ia cOthes-pin.'
Tug SrcRlf OF His SUccEss.-A man in Yer
mont. who grew no from small discounter of
potes IN q country store TO be- millionaire, re-
piled. when asked the reason Of his uniform sue
aess When everybody - fishing down stream
turn and fish up' BY this he meant that when
th. drift OF money was towards bonds and similar
securities, hr invested IN real estate, and vice
versa.
Coon HINr-It - related Of Scottish lady IN
u remote uart of the Highlands, noted for her
proCIse liberalitv. that being sometimes Oyerbur-
tened with habitual - sOrners- when any OF
them ourstayCd his welcome. she would take oc-
.,asiOn 10 say To- him at the morning meal, with
an arch look at the rest Of the company, = Max
IL good breakfast, Mr.. --. while You re about
IL W dinna ken whIur veil get your dinner.
The hint was usually taken. and the e. soTner -
departed
Z fgt tprr n
.rari. Tim, Is responsible for the following \
,iay before the execution the Chaplain ut Fort
Klamath was endeayOring TO convert Jack and
seek rsst tor his soul, and among other things,
rnId him glowing stories Oi the happy land HIS
remarks seemed 10 have an effect the Captain
who asked him If be knew all about God and the
tappv land The Chaplain said he thought he
lid. ss W ell. said Jack, - You know all about
iiinl me give y1u ten horses yOu take my place
t1-IIOrrow-
TINS 1g NExT.-A lady took her son, OF some
tive. years ~ church AiJer the minister had
h,an ureaching about = half an hour the little
fellow, crew sleepy and began To nod. The
mother reused hIm int" attention several times
Gv uushiug. but rs 10 seemed hopeless case,
-I,. concluded To let him sleep undisturbed Aiter
n while tb. little fellow had his nap out and saw
tine minister still holding forth lie looked up
IN ms mothers face and inEOcenty asked,
Mother, Is It this sunday night. oT j. If next
NllltsAF lli-tts
LlY ug The UMBRELLA OwNERs--NOt even Liin-
1uermlun in ms Pleasures of Solitude, nor
vet Cowper. IN the poem, - I am Monarch oi all
I survey. can claim To have developed one pom;
ur attraction IN Robinson CTusOe's : lonely lie -
fully as has been done by the author of the fol
lowing lines. part Of ode upon the losses ana
rnisaries Of umbTellI-Owuers III American cities.
The writer must have lately lost ten-doiiar SILK
Y 1rt~0e on his solitary isle
% doubt lonfiys and u may D. san
yNf,au be cracked JOkes there by 60 ~fH--
nd u0nr 20 sympathize when be felt bal
H1f VI b. h~d this glorious consolation
H. parachute free from coEitscatou-
IA e5lle rsam rouni his island IT his wiH-
4uf take rs parachute. or fIve u At home
Tl- knew thar yghere he left IT, IL would still
R-n1n there Eufa he had ceased 70 Ioam
aerc- happy man % dOubly blessed X CTu~0r
Whn among u n cit.es dlres 20 do 50
The. writer Of the above was particularly az
.-yrieyed that It was wet weather when Ice was he
~e-lyed Of his umbrella. lie says.
IN why not take pleasant day
When the zenith Sol shining brightly
Al such a time wOuld not say him nay
Nsr 1lizsng Il. its loss wOuh gTieVe me slightly
A. - ShakespeaTe sld, in iapar,lse lersp,