Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1873-07-10
CETPTOMANIA.

NG4h = OhR hREIas
The census of Davenport, Iowa,
foots MP 20, $50.
There are $500 libraries in Iowa,
with GA, 600 volumes.
Its the little cuss in the cradle that
makes home howl.
An enterprising itinerant is offering
stuffed cats for sale in the streets.
-COleridge said that federation was
impossible till Indifference made it worth
less.
"A New York restaurateur announc-
es ready-made dinners for miscellaneous
appetites.
Jones, who has lately been married,
says that courtship is bliss, but matri-
moHy is blister.
One of the ''patents" calls Boston
magazine ''Tbe OLD End New" Only
a typographical error.
1t is said that the world owes every
man a living, but great many men are
too lazy 10 collect it.
'Love," says an anonymous writer,
lis an internal transport" The same
might be said Of a canal boat.
A Pella man has nursed to vigorous
growth $50 mullen plants, under the
hallucination that they were tobacco.
A book entitled Lectures to Mar
ried Men" has appeared in England.
Have they not had their share already?
-"He is dead; but he pays just as
well as he ever did" was the reply the
Belfast Journal got TO dunning letter.
This backward and disagreeable
spring has been of benefit in one direc-
ton. The poets had no opportunity TO
afliict us with spring poetry.
There amt no trusting an Injun;
Hes a catawampOuS cuss.
And when he's a doing of suthin bad,
Hes wishing twas sutbin wuss-
-Hero is a laconic description of
fight in New Orleans: Vincent Blood
(colored) cut VIM. ThompsOn's (colored)
throat Thompson was trying to bite
Blood's (cOlored) nose off.
During the war a letter written by
a rebel soldier to his sweetheart was cap
tured, whereupon the writer said: I'VE
will lick the yanks twomOrrer if god
dlcmity spares our life"
The latest case of ingratitude is that
recorded Of a Western Editor who re-
turns thanks for box of strawberries
sent him. and says he will excuse the
neglect to furnish sugar.
Elizabeth Stoddard has in apple
TINS what the orthodox would call a
pagan poem, IN which she hints that her
yearning for Immortality would be en-
tirely satisfied by transformation into a
star.
The Ellsworth Anerican contains
the following: "The city government
are hereby notified that there is a flow
of intoxicating liquors some,ohere. In
the words of his Honor, the Mayor,
Dam it"
And pious souls there are who view
The world through goggles colored blue;
And Others who have never seen,
Except thrOuge goggles colorcd green.
There are fourteen thousand drug
stores in the United States, and the
number of persons employed in the va
rious branches of the drug business is
estimated at one hundred and thirty-flyc
thousand.
For the regulation family paper, the
following item is worth dollar a word
at least: AT a recent marriage of
captain of the Royal Artillery, in Eng
land, the bride was attended by fourteen
bridesmaids.
"A writer on love says. "fOr a girl
who has made a shirt for the man she
loves there has come a moment in the
last stitch Of it sweeter than any stars,
hay-cocks, poetry, or superlatye epithets
have produced"
She blushed, and 1 saw all the roses grow
paler
with envy and longing. She lifted her
. eyes
With a shy, feigned expression that could
I knew that She felt neither fearnor sur
prise.
The editor of this paper, says the
Champaign H., G0sette, is indebted to
his friends of the cornet band for de-
lightful serenade the other evening.
The sweet music caused visions of bliss
and beauty to linger around his pillow.
A Bangor clergyman fell afoul of
the spring bOnnets, which, with great
felicity of expression, he calls '.incom-
prchensible huddles of finery and friy-
olity.
There was a true sense of the delight
of intimacy in the girl who declared that
she never loved her lover so well as when
she told him how many pair of stock
ings she had got.
4 facetious senior asked freshman
to tell him the difference between fac
Elilllic anu q sim IdnAltt AJAN NA-N AA%Nito-
| was on the senior, for the freshman in
| stantly replied: mo difference. A
sick family is family that is sick, and
a fac-simile means the same.
Rufus Choate, OF somebody else,
said that the ways of Providence and
the decision of petit jury are past ac-
counting for. We may safely say this
of the latter, since a Pittsburg jury
handed up to the judge communication
| indOrsed, ''the honorable gug.
in Boston the city government has
refused to appropriate any money for
the swift-darting rockets and the blazing,
swapping fancy pieces. This the Boston
Courier styles "a total suppression OF
| the most distinctive element IN the OBJ
! seryance of independence Day.
To thee, were ! a strikleback,
I'd swim fast a. nns can move
TO thee were L a hunters hack,
Tide gallop on the wings of love,
But as I'm but a simple man,
I'll come by train, loye-if can.
Milwaukee has long been celebrated
as having the finest lager bier made in
I this country. 1t has now new school
4 board composed of the following gentle
men: Hudhausen, Kuenzie, Wasweller,
| Zeigler, Schnurstein, Freitag, Koetting,
/ Meinecke, Runcle, Obermann ard
/ Trumf.