davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21
Piih and Point.

A-TAwNEY- GENERAL-Othello.
A NOTICE of peal-Lightning.
A VERY dry tap-The tap of the drum.
QUERY-Does dumb man always keep
his word
THE best literary work is done in the
morning.
VESTED interest-Money in the waist
coat picket.
MAGIC mirror-A beautiful face lit up
with smiles.
OUGHT strong boy to be paid
Ueekly salary?
How MUCH cloth is required to make
n spirit-wrapper
WHEN is water most liable to escape?
When it is only half tide.
PUNCH has found a man too lazy to
labor under an impression.
This is the affecting epitaph on q de-
ceased Rock Island Captains tombstone:
He's done a-catching cod, and gone to
meet his Good"
THIS question agitates Lawrence, Kan
sas Should a young man leave his
music lesson to split wood when his
mother is at home iii perfect health 2!
{" You ought to lay up something for
q rainy day. said an anxious father to
his prohigate son. land so / have"
replied the youth. "What 2" =" An UNI
brella.
A TOLEDO girl broke off an engage
ment because her lover wore cheap paper
collars, and yet at the same time (the
story may not be true) she was wearing
garters torn from an old FELLOWSHIP.
4 YOUNG man hunting turkeys at Kala-
mazoo thought he saw one in the grass,
but the Coroner's jury decided that it
was the head of the farmer who owned
the premises, and was taking a nap.
4 DAILY paper lately informed it's
readers that {" an additional number of
policemen are to be placed in the most
exposed parts of the town, TO prevent
the robberies which happened last
winter"
"PA, what is the interest of q kiss %
asked sweet sixteen of her sire. "Why,
really, / don't know Why do you ask ?"
Because John, my cousin, borrowed a
kiss last night from me, and said he'd
pay me back some of these nights, with
interest"
AN old gentleman of "a having taken
to the altar a young damsel of Is, the
clergyman said TO him: " You will find
the font at the other end of the church.
"What do / want with the font ?" asked
the old gentleman. 81 beg your par
don" said the clerical wit, 81 thought
You had brought the child to be christ
ened."
The young man with presence of mind
resides in Detroit. Just as he was lift
ing his hat to couple of young ladies
on Woodward avenue, boy ran a sled
against his legs and the fashionable
young man turned half dozen pigeon
wings and came down on all fours.
Picking up his hat without so much as
a frown, he remarked to the ladies 81
am always subject to these dizzy spells
in winter.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21
Valued at SO.

Married men are occasionally heard to
complain of their wives extravaganza in
dress. 1t will, therefore, we hope, afford
husbands some satisfaction to learn that
if the robes in which lady Grapes her
limbs are sometimes too dear, the limbs
themselves are about as economical in
price az limbs well can be. The Jaw
bone, collar-bone, and shoulder bone of
lady of the name of Heisch has Just
been, by Middlesex (Eng) jury, val
ued together Mt $50. The defense to the
action was that the lady had three dogs,
and that these dogs worried the COW that
knocked her down and trampled upon
her, and that the owner of the COW so
worried was not aware of the dangerous
condition in which that animal was at the
time. But the jury seem to have reject
ed this defense, to have exonerated the
three dogs, and to have held that the
defendant did know that the COW was
vicious. Otherwise they could not have
found verdict against him. 1t would
appear, therefore, that the jury thought
f10 was a fair price at which to estimate
three such important constituent parts
of lady as her jaw-bore, her collar
bone, and her shoulder-oone. If the
jury were right, then, in spite of the high
price of coal and meat, people of moder-
ate incomes in England need not despai
as yet. Wives are cheap, anyhow.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21
FOR TOBACCO LOVERS.

Chewing in the parlor,
Smoking in the street,
Choking with cigar smoke
Every one you meet;
Splitting ON the pavement,
Splitting on the floor,
Is there such enslayement
Is there such bore?
Puddles at the corners,
Swelling into one,
Forming lakes and rivers,
Drying in the run,
Maidens, when you marry,
Tobacco worms don't take;
Think not Dick or Harry
viii quit II for your sake.
Declare the thing a curse
And when gents come in 10 WOO,
You "pop the question first,
"Sir, do you smoke or chew?"
Mark well each word or look,
And, if they don't say no,
Just cross them OF your book,
And tell them why You do.
Some gents carry spice,
Some cinnamon, some Cloves
Make good use of your eyes,
And good use Of your nose;
For when the weddings DER,
Perfumes they throw away
They spit upon the floor,
They smoke and chew all day.
Does a lover promise
To quit the weed for you:
See he has a firm bump,
And conscientious too.
II you're no phrenologist,
Let time and truth make clear,
And wait until he resists
Temptation for year.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21
BOnaparte's Love Letters.

The great Napoleon, when absent on
his campaigns, used to write the most
tender love letters to his wife, Josephine.
Here is one of his short war notes
60 write very often to you, my dear
love, but very seldom hear from you.
You are tickle, ugly, wicked creature.
Perfidious to deceive n poor husband
and ardent lover Must he forfeit his
rights because he is far away, burdened
with difficulties, cares and fatigue !?
Without his Josephine, without the as
surance of her love, what remains for
him on earth ! What can he do? A
thousand loving kisses. -BoNAPARTE. "
The next is curiously tender: I" 1 don't
love you bit on the contrary, detest
you. You are an ugly, stupid, wicked
hussey. You never write to me, and
Won do not love your husband. You
know the delight your letters afford me,
and yet you send me only half dozen
hurried lines. Pray, Madam, what do
you do with yourself all day? What
important business is it that prevents
you writing to your fond lover? What
affection stiles and puts aside the love,
the tender and constant love, you prom
Used me? Who can this new wonder be
this new lover who absorbs all your
time, tyrannizes over your days, and pre-
vents you from thinking of your hus-
band Take care, Josephine, some fine
night, the doors closed, and I'll surprise
you. But seriously, / am very uneasy,
my dear love, at receiving no news of
you; write me four pages Immediately,
full of those charming things that fill
my heart with tenderness and delight. /
hope to embrace you before long then
| shall cover You with a million burning
kisses. -BoNAPARTE
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

VELOCITY OF THE WIND.-Prof. Stod-
dard, in letter recently delivered upon
the hurricane, in Knox county, Ohio,
stated that in one town grove of oak
trees was almost entirely blown down.
The trunk of one of these trees was
about three feet in diameter. Asslm-
ing, however, its diameter TO be but two
and half feet, force of la, 900 pounds
would be required to break it, The
surface of the tree exposed to the action
of the wind was about 900 feet, which
would give pressure by the wind of
147 pounds per square foot, or a velocity
of not less than III miles per hour
which is nearly one-fourth the initial We
locity of cannon-ball. Allowing the
height of the hurricane, or whirlwind,
to have been sixty feet, the whole force
exerted at one time, along the track, was
five thousand million pounds-or a
working power equal to more than half
the steam power of the globe
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21
SONG OF THE PEN AND PLOW.
by WILLIAM Ross WALLACE.

"Lst there be Rghtp q, how sublime
At once black space was glowingl
And ON the vast wings Of young Time
Soon peOpled worlds were going.
Among them rolled our glad green earth,
With Gods own Image beaming,
That was the master made from birth
For more than fruitess dreaming.
% yes, the Fountain Of the Whole,
Himself Worker, lightened
Works need and good upon Mans soul,
And still Creation frightened.
Work of the body, work of mind,
No one has empire solely;
So Pen and Pow, together shrined,
Work on in marriage holy.
And thus a. we sing. the Pen and Plow |;
Ruled Earth records our story
The Past ours, ours u the Now,
And Future with more glory.
"Let there be Rght!" There must be first
For minds full strength and splendor
Material Base, and IL In nursed,
Grown, reaped, with no surrnder,
by Agriculture, not rude, blind,
But with experience giant.
And for new wreaths its brow to bind,
On new-grasped truths reliant,
Thus grew and grows the Nations wealth
BY mans physique demanded,
Aud mental, moral strength and health
With IL stride triple handed.
With every day new triumphs won,
o, sight for eyes supernal,
These workers three beneath their sun
Broad blessed by the Eternal
And thus we sing, the Pen and Plow !;
Ruled Earth records our story;
The Past was ours, ours is the Now,
And Future with more glory.
" Lei there be hght :" Ye Farmers true
And Writers, wed by Labor,
What deathless crowns will be for you,
The conquerors of the saber
BY bloodess work the prophecy
OF peace from angel voices
Can only bring Reality
While in II Earth rejoices.
Work, proudly work with soul and hand
Mechanics, all, all steady
In pnlpit, office, shop and land,
Ye are with God already.
Sow on and reap with Brain and Bone,
In wealth all homes surrounding;
on Earth for labOrers alone
Gods Hymn of Light il sounding.
With IT sing, the Pen and Plow
Ruled Earth records our story;
The Past was ours, ours Is the Now,
And Future with more glory.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

THE late eccentric Methodist preacher,
Peter Cartwright described the sort OF
religion that comes and goes in flashes,
and which his experience brought him
into contact with a good deal more than
he liked, as "lightning-bug" religion.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

The remark was broken off by the alb
rupt entrance of the abominable
wretch himself. Mrs. Washburn rose
as he entered, and, in spite of the abom-
Unable odor that his breath must have
sxhaled, printed kiss upon his tobacco
stained lips.
The lady "who had been married
several years was Disguised, and after
few words concerning the weather,
took her leave.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

A TEXAS meat company proposes to
convert thousand steers day into
preserved beef extract for the English
market.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

Mrs. STOWE on BABIES. Mrs Har-
riet Beecher Stowe speaks of mother
hood in a pretty way when she says:
"It would sometimes seem as if
motherhood were lovely artifce of the
great Father, to wean the heart from
selfishness by a peaceful and gradual
process. The babe is self in another
form. 1t is so interviewer and identi-
fled with the mothers life that she
passes by almost insensible gradations
from herself to it; and day by day the
instructive love of self wanes IA the
child-love wakes, filling the heart with a
thousand new springs of tenderness"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

A GENTLEMAN advertises in an Eastern
paper for :" boy to open oysters about
fifteen years old" No matter what the
salary, we decline. Get some boy with
a strong stomach.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-03-21

Mr.. Washburn had couple of his in
innate friends at his house to play a
game of whist the next evening, and the
devoted wife resolved to try the effect of
a smoke in their presence.
. When the party were seated, Mr..
Washburn passed around the cigar
case.
!" Won't you smoke, my dear?"
asked he, rendering the cigars to his
wife.
" | will but you know, Joseph, that
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30
THE FAIR DAMAGE SUIT.

The case of Laura D. Fair vs. Sieg-
fried & Lohse for damages sustained
on account of the refusal of the de-
fendants to allow the plaintiff to
lecture in Platt's Hall after receiving
$50 in payment therefor, was contin-
ued in the Justices Court this morn
ing, before Justice Verdenal. The
agent Of Mrs. Fair, Byron Adonis
was called and testified that he en-.
gagged the Hall for Mrs. Fair and moi
awidow lady from the East. I" The
case was then argued by the respect
i've counsels and submitted for judg
ment, 81
Judge yerdenal,. in rendering
Judgment, stated that he would no
consider the previous character or be
havior of Mrs. Fair; the principa
point is that the plaintiff, through
her agent, leased the Hall to deliv
er lecture in November last, and
assuming that the representation wa
made that it was for o widow lad,
it did not vitiate them il it was fount
that the lady was residing here. HI
would render judgment for none.
actually paid ont as follows: Rem
of Hall, $50; posters, SIG; bill TO
posting. $40: printing tickets, $40
Total, $96. He excluded the amour
of tickets sold and an item of $23 TO
carriage hire.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30
WILLAMETTE
TRANSPORTATION COMPANY,

ENRON AND AFTER DATE UNTIL FUR
ther notice, the Company will dispatch {
boat from Albany to Corvallis on TUESDAY
and FRIDAY Of each week.
Also win dispatch boat from Albany fol
Portland and internediate places on same days
leaving Comstock Cos wharf.
Fare st reducsd rates. ]. D. BlLEs,
Dce. Ie, 1871. Agent.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30

James Dateman, a good-looking
young Englisbmsn of 26, from Lon.
don, was with the emigrants, and de-
sires to make statement concerning
the death of bis wife on the ship. He
was the only passenger who was able
to bring his wife on deck, all of the
others being drowned below stairs
His statement is as follows:
"On the first of April, at 9 o'clock
A. ", and my wife were awakened
by hearing the ship strike; heard
them say it was only the noise of the
anchor, and that we were in port in
Halifax. and my wife ran up stairs
TO the door, but the sailors were
guarding il, and said they had orders
70 keep uA 6eloso. I burst open the
door against the men, and my wife
and fell upon the deck. At this
minute they were firing their last
rocket and Mr.. Ryan, passenger, was
trying TO launch boat. got irfo
the boat with my wife, when the sail.
ors came and said they would split
our heads open if we did not get out.
/ naturally preferred TO stand my
chances on deck rather than be killed
in the boat. SO we obeyed them and
got out into the rigging. My wife
and held on to the rigging, and Just
as we got hold the ship keeled over
and we were suspended In the air by
our hands. My wife, % years of age,
a strong woman, and / pushed her in
to the rigging again. Then the sea
swo.t erar ,,s aa,a~af ts,noa ,-n.
dressed in nothing but a shirt and
coat, and my wife had only chemise
and flannel petticoas, SO we suffered
greatly from cold. Ny wife was
freezing nine hours in the rigging be.
fore she died. The last man saved
was the FIRST mate, and I think they
could have saved my wife at that
time. Her last words were to an of.
ficer, .Please give me something, if
only handkerchief. to save me from
freezing;" but the officer, though
warmly clad himself, refused to aid
her. So. 84
"A Halifax paper gives the state
ment of First Officer Firth, to the eff.
feet that be stayed by my wife until
she perished. This is false. He did
nothing for her. I think he is the
greatest coward God ever made. Ia
number of other passengers corrobo-
rated this.l ] tried, as last effort to
save my wife, to cross the deck from
the mizzen rigging to the fore part of
the ship, and dozens who had made
the attempt were washed overheard.
was successful. I asked Captain
Williams to try and save my wife
He replied, Fetch your wife, if you
want her saved : but that was irnpos-
sible, as I could not again cross the
deck A lot of sailors cried out,
Save the woman but none dared
try. II was TOO late. When last
saw my wife she was frothing at the
mouth and nearly dead. We were
bound for Boston. Lam bricklayer
by trade, and have no friends in the
Icity."-Boston Journal
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30

THE WRoNG MANA little while
ago well-knowp London poet, whose
name is not given by our authority,
was returning home late at night, car
rying under bis arm his dress boots
wrapped in paper, when he was sud-
denly arrested by policeman, who
collared him in very vigorous man.
ner. The poet mildly demonstrated,
and asked the meaning of such very
pressing attentions. The constable
made sneering reply, limiting that
his captive knew very well why he
was wanted, and another constable
appeared on the scene TO assist in con-
veying the lackless poet TO durance
vile. After some expostulation he
succeeded in mitigating the suspi-
eions of his stern janitors SO far that
they agreed to unhand him on condi-
ton that he walked between them,
one in front and one behind, and made
no effort to escape. Arrived at the
police station, the Inspector at once
exclaimed, "Why, this is not the gen.
tleman you have made q mistake" !"
and rendered an apology to the poet.
ssThat's all very well. was the reply,
"but I should like to know something
more about this rather singular affair.
One does not get taken mp every day
of ones life" It was then explained
that lnnatic had got loose from an
asylum, and that his friends had told
the police to look after him, and they
would know him by reason. of a pecul-
liarity of his. He had a cat-like aver
sion to wet feet, and always carried a
spare pair of boots under his arm in
order to put on directly when those
j which be wore begun to get damp.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30
soMETHIMG NEW m DENTISTRY !
DR. z. o. SMITH, DENTIST,

"As LOCATED IN ALBANY -
and has the new invention a Q}f[{A
n plate work, which consists in IL
the whole roof, as herstofore. It gives the
wssrer the free use Of the tongue to the roof Of
the mouth in talking and tasting. It is the
Smith & Purvine patent.
MHTeeth extracted without pain. Plates
mended, whether broken or divided. Once one
door east of Conner's Bank. up stairs.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30

Self made men are most slwus apt
to be . leetle 70 proud oy the job
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30
ALBANY BATH HOUsEl

UHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
nenf. and. by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects TO suit all
those Who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons.
he expects to give entire satisfaction to all.
n&-Chiidfen and Ladies' Hair neatly cut
and shampooed. JOSEPH w WEbBEh.
Y3n33tf.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30

Bnsiness notices in the Local Columns. rs
cents per line, each insertion.
For legal and Transient advertise merits 81 50
per square of IL lines, for the first insertion,
and 81 90 per square for each subsequers is-
Sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-30
DIRECTORS OREGON BcANCH:
HAMILTON BOYD,
AGENT FOR OREGON q WASHINGTON TERRY


ALBANY, OREGON.
sS<-sssA
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-08-23
DI 4 ID,


FRAZIER. On the Z1i inst, HARRY ELMER.
infaDt " Tneocoro sni Isidor Frazier, aged Il
N ntbs
B0UYER. August 1sd, l:I5 a. N, WILLIAM
SEITZ, aged Il months sod days, iIfsGt s0u OF
SAMUEL ). aud Kate Hoover.
Funeral notice 10 Sunday pa pers.
McQUkN On the 2fd Of August, M HISTEN
NCQUAI, IN the Sl,h ear Of his age.
None knew him but 10 love him.
May he rest IN peace.
Funeral viii tate place Sunday afternoon, Of
O'Clock, from No. 925 MarylAu avenue, between
nh and lOth .feets southwest.
O'C0NNOR. At San BernArdino. California, Of
consumption, on the Eth of August, ROCKET
O'CONNOR, 81 thi- city, IN the Nth q his age
He leaves sife and three ch 1dren aad q large
Der Of friends 20 mourn their loss.
SLYE. On the 22d inst q, MAGGIE EDWARD
INA, infant daughter q Heury aud Hennie slye,
aged 10 months aud Is dayE.
Funeral from the house ofthe grandm0ther, Mrs.
Margaret Queen, SOC Ssh street southeast, a. 3 D.
m. Sunday, the 34th inst. Relatives aud friends of
the family are invited.
sIMoNDs. On the 2lst Iust . after q lingering
Illness, JOHN sfM0kDs, sgcd 81 years, months
and 81 days.
Funeral viii take place fron his late residence,
912 street southeast, Sunday afternoon. at
O'Clock. Friends and asauai1sances are respectfully
invited 20 tend.
WINTER. August 2aa, at oicioek .. N,
HESRY 81. CLAIR son % Martha A. Winter and
Of the late william II. Ninser.
Notice Of funeral In sunday papers
YZNAGA. On EridaY, Auguet z2i. EMMA
MARIE, infant dasghter OF J. IA. and Martina
HEnsga, ag.d 3 days.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-08-23
pY GREEN WILLIAMS, AncfioneerS,
- Northwest corner 10th and streets.
TRuSTEFS SALE OF VALUABLE BRICK
bwWIEIL LING HousE IN The NORTHERN

TRuSTEFS SALE OF VALUABLE BRICK
plII l. Nc HOUSE, IN The NORTHERN
! - By virtue q deed Of trust, dated December
So Wht n u. lsIo, and daily recorded in Lioer No
~ 6 folio "a, Ac., Of the land records for Wssh-
iBgton county, D. c, and hy the direction % the
party secured thereby, Will sell at public auction
of September, A. d. 1873, Al 5hs O'Clock IN Lot
numbered nifty two fs2 in Chapman's recorded sub
division Of original lots in square number Cdthree
hundred and sixty four lS6il, in the city OF ash
ineton, with all the improvements thereon. con-
sisting Of comfortable Brick Dwelling House.
Terms OF sale: One half in cash, Of which sl0O
must be paid at sale; the deferred payments q be
paid in equal payments in six and Twelve months
after day Of sale, with interest per cent per
annum and secured by deed Of trust 20 the satsfac
tion Of the Trustee Terms TO be fully piled with
within six days after sale, otherwise the Trustee
the right to resell the property after one
weeks notice, at the risk and OF the first pur-
chaser. All convey ancinR 81 purchasers cost
WIN n. WARD, Trustee
aug23-eoSds GREEN & WILLIAMS, Aucts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-08-23
RAILROADS.
DENNSYLyANIAA Ala LINZ
fHifxSEF fk gasx &


AND ALL POINTS II THE Nh%Y ENGLAND
THROUGH BETwEkN WASHINGTON AND
WITHOUT 6 6MA f4hko or car,
The equipment on this line Is new and Of the mos.
'PIs tnsn sPd TyTSysd pi;H
As NisHT f kAiSs.s CABS ON
faRas Ts Rasi1iNssE b IHiy kx s SUNDAY
s Vii be run over Pennsylvania Air Line, leaving
Potomac r.rOs northeast corner Of ss sss sns
Il. .ss L,ns, leave Washington r;S g. m. daily or.
Leave Baltimore q. els q. m. daily, except Sun.
Leave West Philadelphia ., lee ,. m. daily, az.
Arrive at New York ct ,. m. daily, e.c.p. San.
kisAyo~d E1yess, leave Washington q. Los D.
Leave Baltimore At ass ,. M. daily, except Sun.
Leave West Phiiadsl phia ct SOS ,. m. daily, sx.
Arrive sf New York ct s:lO p. m. daily sroep,
NisM Express, leave Washington q. sos .. m
kssys S Es:, Psj. :. lSs daily .
arrive - ' fsa tGss 4 sE ~ III ss.iy'
Arrive At Washington At V Is ,. M m. H.
h N,ss, T HySJ PssSs s.H SJ2k
Connections are made in New York with steamer,
railroads. New YORK Central and Hudscn River rail-
road, Erie Railway, and steamers on Hudson River
Baggage called Tor and checked at hotels and pri.
vate residences orders left the following oces
where tickets and Information can be Obtained
east corner 9Th street and Penna; ave.; Passenger
Station Baltimore and Potomac rsilSOaao 9th
jyA-tf General Passenger Agent.