Richland beacon., 1873-06-07
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.
bY-cOrns be bY-cOrns.

M1SVLLLANLUOS IAhAUnAfHSs |
LET by-corns be by-corns.
GOD works by means not by miracles. {
A BUMMER's BEp-Thrce sheets i'm the =
wind.
How TO TAME A HoRsE-First tame :
yourself.
EMPTY-The heads of many City {
Fathers. {
PLAYING FOR HIGH STEAKs-Marrying
wealthy butchers daughter.
TRUE, time flies fast, but every musician |
of any note can beat time.
THE STRANGEsT THING IN BONNETs-
The present style of chignons.
WHY is Spain like dOnkey's burden
Because it is Hispania.
The hearing of the grammar class is
always parse-time to teacher.
PROPER MORO FOR BOARDING HOUSE |
flashes to hashes and dust to dust.
ROAST donkey is fashionable in France.
1t is likely to lead to cannibalism.
WHAT is the present little game" in
female costume? Backgammon, of
course.
For permanent opinions you can
trust hOstler-he is person of stable
mind.
1T takes two boys to 60 to school nova
days-one to study and the other to carry
the books.
THE poachers in Pennsylvania have got
to. extremes. They are now pOaching
eggs.
Has any one seen a coy, blushing
maiden named Spring lettering around
these parts?
If Heaven be not place, but a state,
the good BostOnians say they know what
State 1t is.
A YOUNG lady recently sent off her
lover with the instructions not to return
until he :. means business"
THE project of spanning the East river,
New York, is not suspended, though the
bridge will be.
THOSE who have "secret sorrow" are
usually very fond of making it a public
inflictiOn.
The murderous Modocs should be ex-
terminated in the lava beds, and remem-
bered hereafter only as the extinct craters.
PEOPLE should always be prepared for
the approach of smallpox. Their de-
tense should lie in their arms.
EGGS are said to be very scarce in Ohio
because the hens are in the habit of mis-
laying them.
A TEXAS paper speaks of "the death
of several residents of this district by
affections Of the throat superinduced by
raZors."
WHEN an undertaken tells you any.
thing, YOU have reason to believe it; for
you have the information on grave au'
thority.
A HATTER i'm New York advertises that
"Watts on the Mind'' is of great impOr.
I,,t sk,atS- fIx. ts M
greater.
gardening, and are disposed to complain
because the gardens are not yet con-
structed.
SENTIMENTAL HoMGOPATHY-FOr man
to attempt to cure palpitatiOn of the heart
by putting his arms about his feminine
acquaintance.
A YOUNG lady sends an exchange a re-
cipe, "IIOw to make Kisses" If that
young lady will call on us, we shall be
happy to show her how it is done.
HOLMES disposes of the bigOt at once
when he compares his mind to the pupil
Of the eye-''the more light you let in
the more it contracts"
The magazine styled the Dark Blue has
deceased. The mortality must have lair
i'm the color. 1t would have lived if il
had been generally read.
MATILDA JANE wants to know whether
the strike of the shoemakers will not Sc
riously interfere with the progress OF
WOmen's Rights land Lefts.)
An English female witness promptly
defined cOurtship to be Choking at each
other, taking hold of each others hands
and all that Kind of things"
WHATEVER the Germans may lose by
the Vienna Exposition in the way Of
property, they will have their Muhlbach
and for loss of time they will have ar
Auerbach.
ONE of Barnum's Fejee cannibals ha!
gone to work in livery stable, because
painting his face, wearing fish bones about
the neck, and shivering in shawl for So
month and board didn't pay.
A NEW YORK dispatch says; st. Pau
was the card at the opening of the stocl
market this morning. 1t strikes us tina
st. Paul had something to do with stock
once before. He and Silas were in part
nership in Phillippi stocks once.
They tell of one Boston mother VIII
says of her baby, that "as it couldn't b
handsome like its papa, it's going to b
good like its mamma" This is the frs
baby on record that is not the pretties
that ever waste its mother.
The Shakers in New Lebanon ar
getting shaky; the Quakers in Phils
delphia are getting quaky; the rakers |
Westminster are getting raky; the cake
makers in Hartford are getting caky an
so goes the world.
A Theory for the Distant Future.