The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-06-20
POSTAL CARD JOKES.

POSTAL CARD JOKES.
That new device of Postmaster Gen
eral Creswell, the postal cards, went
into circulation a short time ago. As
they have been somewhat elaborately
described in the Washington special
dispatches for the last several weeks,
it is not necessary to go into particu-
lars here. Besides, nearly everybody
has seen them, and knows how to de.
scribe them himself But for gener-
al description it might be said that
they are designed for the distribution
of intelligence among the masses at
one third the usual rate You can
write almost anything you please on a
postal card, so that it isn't too long
that is to say, the article that is writ
ten. But there are some things which
do not read well on a postal card.
Take for instance a large boarding
house where the landlady takes care
of the mail until the boarders call for
it. This sometimes makes the diffu-
sion of intelligence among the masses
trife too ditfuse for comfort The
postman comes to the door with an
armful Of postal cards. The landlady
relieves him of the burden, goes in and
sits down and begins to sort them over
for the various boarders. Presently
she strikes one which reads thus:
St. Louis, May II.
My Dear Theoph.-COme to night at
half past 10. Side gate open. Bull dog
chained up in the basement. Light in the
window for you.
Yours sweetly, E. B. L.
Landlady turns to the other side of
the card. She reads the superscrip-
ton:
MIR. THEOPHILUs hUFFLECHEEK,
No. 1875 Hash avenue, City.
Landlady rests her cheek on her left
hand and muses. pdssims Landlady
soIus "Well, now, did | ever? Who'd
a thought that Mr.. Mufflecheek was
that kind of man? Came here, too,
with the highest references from his
last place PAYS his board regularly
every Saturday at tea. Belongs to
our church, too" Reads again.
HALF past GUII-II01I nI0, and
always thought he went to bed at half
past nine. Bull dog chained up in the
basement Well l neverl I'll keep
little watch of Mr. Muff1echeek.
I'll expose him before the church"
Then she draws a long sigh, and pro-
ceeds with another card: Reads
st. Louis, May II,
Sir-I have now waited four weeks for
the balance on that suit of clothes. l need
the money. Must have it Monday.
Yours, Nimbleneedle.
Turns to the esuperscription and reads:
MIR. J. B. SUNFLowER,
No. 13,975 Hash avenue, City.
"Well, if ever heard the like in my
life! Mr.. Sunfower is such nice gen.
tleman And he uses such elegant
perfumery. Let me see: he owes for
two weeks board. Told me this morn
ing he was expecting a check from
home | must go to his room and see
! how much baggage he has. Dear me,
folks are SO unaccountable."
Comes to another. Reads:
My Dear Spriggins-Just deposited four
hundred to your credit in the Twelfth Ma
tional. Draw on me at sight for the bal
ance Yours. 3. w. X.
Turns to the superscriptiona and reads:
j. d. SPRIGGrNs, Esq,
No. Is, 975 Hash avenue, City.
Gracious me! How much like Mr..
| Spriggins' own handwriting that IS.
Singular that two persons should write
so nearly alike. Let me see. Mr..
| Spriggins told me he expected some
money to-day
Enter Spriggins-''Good afternoon,
ma'am."
Landlady-"Here is postal card
for you."
Sprig,-"Oh yes" Reads to him
self That's all right. BY the way,
madam, have you money enough in the
house to cash a fifty dollar check It's
after banking hours and have just re-
ceived telegram from Kansas City,
and must go on the night train"
Landlady-''Ill go right away and
hook in INV bureau drawer. l reckon