The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-09-11
! All Sorts Of Paragraphs.


= Josh Billings says: ':!Don't work before
breakfast. If it is necessary to toll before
breakfast, eat your breakfast first"
years of experience, says: "a woman is like
tar; only melt her and she will take any form
you please
;, Set it down as fact that hay, corn, oats
and fodder of all kinds are worth so per cent.
more if fed out on the farm than if sold to be
fed elsewhere.
"A country postmaster in Virginia wishes
that people who use postal cards wouldn't write
so fine, as he consumes twenty minutes reading
some of them.
"Where are the patriotic men Of '76 ?''
shouted patriotic orator. Dead" responded
a sad looking man in the middle aisle. The
orator seemed to be disturbed by the informa-
ton. > c-JF} - rs $50: ..--.e.',.
"A Northern cotemporary spitefully OBJ
serves that whatever Justice there may be in
calling our President G; sa:, there certainly
is no resemblance between Grant and Caesar
wife.
:."Jury,n said a Western Judge, "you kin
60 out and find a verdict. If you can't find
one Of your: own, get the one the last jury
used" The jury returned verdict of suicide
in the ninth degree.
= Scotland has a rival to George Peabody
in Mr.. James Baird, of Auchmedden, who has
established a trust Of S2500,0O to be called
after his name, and to be devoted to religious
education in connection with the church of
Scotland.
- Adversely exasperatest fools, defects cow
ards, draws out six Faculties uf the wise, puts
the modest to the necessity Of Trying their skill
awes the opulent and makes the idle industri-
Gus. Much may be said in favor of adversity,
but the worst of it is that it has no friends.
- If you desire to know whether woman
is constant, persevering, and capable of pur-
suing an object to the end, look into her work.
basket. If you find ehere two, three, or more
unfinished pieces of work, each one of which
has become soiled from lying around, you may
safely conclude THAT she fckle.
A gentleman whose house was under re-
pair, went out one day to see how the work
progressed, and, observing quantity of nails
lying about, he said To the carpenter, "Why
don't you take care of these nails? They'll
certainly be lost" sNo," replied the carpen-
ter, "you'll find them in: the ELL" o. 1.''7r
= Profanity neverfdid any man the least
good. No man is the richer, or the happier, or
wiser for it, It commends NO one to any soci-
ETY.. 1t is disgusting to the refined; abomina-
bic to the good insulting to those with whom
we associate; degrading to the mind unproft-
able and injurious to good society.
That was remarkable feat on the part
the hen that in consequence of being near
sighted, ate saw dust for corn meal, and laid a
nest full of bureau knobs sat on 'em, and in
due time Matched out complete set Of parlor
furniture. We shall order a few of the breed
instanter, and go into the furniture business.
"A colored debating society in Trenton,
Tenn, has just debated 4, the question, (Which
is the most profit to man-money or educa-
tion?" One Of the debaters argued that if it
had not been for education, the world would
not have been half so large as it is This
clincher was met, however, by the argument
that 'If it wastn't for money, how you gwine
to ride on de kyars 2" It was at once decided
in favor of money. -