Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1873-11-20
-"Little Tommy didn,t disnhex mamma

Little Tommy didn't disObey mamma,
and go In swimming, did hep mo, man.
ma; Jimmy Brown and the rest of the bows
went In, but remembered and would not
disobey you" ''And Tommy never tells
les, does her" "No, mamma, or | couldn't
go to Heaven" "Theu how does Tommy
happen to have on Jimmy Browns shirt?
A preacher In a Scottish town took up
collection one recent Sunday, and found
when his hat was returned. that there
wasn't cent 10 1t. IL thank my God
said he. turning the hat upside down and
tapping the crown OF it with his hand,
"that have got my hat back from this
congregation.
Wed credit the following good thing II
We knew to whom the credit is due: 1.-The
drummers came down like wolves on the
fold; their toes were all frosted, their noses
all cold. Their weather peeled buyles soon
shone through the town; they gobbled the
money and sailed it down; then took a few
orders and Int out of here, with their heads
full of business and skins full of beer
Advertiser.
The autumnal season has produced the
usnai amount OF newspaper notices. both
In prose aud verse; but we have seen moth
ih% to compare with the sad refrain of n
Journal printed in Pennsylvania and appro-
priately called The Valley Spirit. which
thus gives vent to its feelings: "The mel
ancholy days have come, the saddest of
the year; its a little too warm tor whiskey
hot. and little too cold for beer
"A Texas editor, whose midnight oil
must have failed him just AS he was going
to press, prints thu following energetic
opinion; The man who would water
petroleum and sell it. would sneak into the
palace of the king of kings and steal the
gliding from the wings Of angels" The
sufferer could hardly have been more viz
or"u> Ia his denuncation If he had caught
somebody watering his whiskey.
A Maine student held the following
colloquy with the professor Of chemistry
the other day: How do YOU account"
asked the professor. for the fact that snow
doesn't melt on tie top of the mouutain,?'
II think II i becan|r there are no clouds ]
above them" That i your theory, is its"
YES. sir" well, sir, will YOU inform us |
how the snow came there, in the first place |
did it come down or go up;" The stude.,t |
Is still rejecting.
The reporter OF "A Nashville paper.
who. mentioning Young lady's disease.
touchingly alluded to her a, lone Of the |
brightest jewels tn It ever glittered in the I
dadem Of an earthly home; one of the .
purest stars that ever cleaned upon the .
rontlet Of our social sky one of the sweet
est flowers that ever bloomed in the garden
of carlies association" has had his salary |
increased to four dollars a month. halfca,h |
and the balance in cord wood
1t IS said that in one Of the early reg- !
imcnts that went out from Vermont In the 1
late war. the father of one of the staff Of !
fccrs called upon the Colonel just before I
the regiment left, and requested that his !
son might be allowed TO keep COW during .
the term OF his service, as he had always
been accustomed, from his boyhood. to .
drink a great deal Of milk The hard .
hearted Colonel, however, said he would |
undertake to wean the calf