Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-12-13
MARK TwAINs JUMPING FRO G."


tain reverend Leonidss W. Smilsy.l
There was n fellow here once BY the name of
Jim Smiley, in the winter Of '4o-or maybe il
was in the spring o. '50-I don't recollect exact
ly, somehow, though what makes me think il
was the one or the other Is because l remember
the big fume wasn't finished when he first came
to the camp but, anyway, he WAS the curiosest
man about always betting on anything that
turned up you ever see, IL he could get anybody
TO bet on the other side; and If he couldn't he'd
change sides.
Any way that suited the other man would suit
him; any way SOS he got bet, he was satisfied.
But still he was lucky, uncommon lucky; he
almost always come out winner. He was al
ways ready and laying for a chance; there
couldn { be no solitary thing mentioned but that
fellerd offer to bet on Ii, and take any side YOU
please, as was Just telling YOU. IL there was
a horse race, you'd find him flush you'd lind
him busted at the end of 1t; IL there was a dog
fight, he'd bet on 1t; II there was a cat-fight,
ned bet on II; u there was chicken fight, he'd
bet on ii; why, If there was two birds se ting
fence, he'd bet you which one would lily first;
or II there was a camp meeting. he would be
there regular to bet on Parson Walker, which
be judged to be the best exhorter about here
and so he was, too, and a good man. Ii be even
saw suaddle-bug start to go anywhere, he
would bet you how long 1t would take him 10
get wherever he was going to, and If You took
him up he would follow that straddle bug TO
Mexico but what he would find out where he
was bound for and how long he was on the road
Lots of the boys here has seen that smiley,
and can tell you all about him. Why, it never
made no difference to him-he would bet on
dHNluiIg-tne udIglest ItlleT. IdrsOn W AK
er's wife laid very sick once, for a good WHILE
and it seemed as il they wArnt agoin' to save
her. But one morning he came in, and Smiley
asked how she was, and he said she vas consia-
erably better-thank the Lord for h.s inhnite
mercy and coming on so smart that, with the
blessing of Providence, she'd get woll yet; and
Smiley, before he thought, SAYS: ''Well. I'll risk
two and a half that she don't anyway"
This yer Smiley had 4 mare-the boys called
her the fifteen minute nag, but that was only in
fun, you know, because of course she was faster
than that-and he used 70 win monev on that
horse for all she was so slow, and always had
the asthma, or the distemper. OF the consump-
ton, or something of that kind. They used 10
give her two or three hundred yards stagt, and
then pass her under way; but always at the flag
end of the race she'd get excited and desperate
Ike, and come cavOrting and stTaddling up, and
scattering her legs around timber, sometimes in
the air, and sometimes out to one side among the
FENCES, and kicking up more dust and rails
Ing m Ore racket with her coughing and sneeZ-
ing and blowing her nose-ant always fetch UP
at the stand just about a neck ahead, as near as
you could cipher it down.
And he had a little small bull pup that to
look at him you'd think he want worth a cent
but to set around and look onery, and Law for a
chance to steal something. But as soon as the
money was up on him he was a different dog;
his under jaw'd begin to stick out like the
fo'castle of a steamboat, and his teeth would
uncover and shine savage like the furnaces.
And dog might tackle hm, and bullyrag him,
and bite him, and throw him over his shoulder
two or three times, and Andrew Jackson
which was the name OF the pup-Andrew Jack
fed, and hadn't expected nothing else-and the
bets being doubled and doubled on the other
side all the time till the money was all up; ana
then all of a sudden he would grab the other
dog jest by the lint of his hind leg and freeze
to it--not chaw, you unde rstand, but only Jest
grip and hang on till they throwed up the
Smiley always come ont winner on that pup,
till he harnessed a dog once that didn't have no
hind legs, because they'd been sawed of by
circular saw, and when the thing had gone
along far enough and the money was all up,
and he come to make snatch for his pet holt.
he saw in minute how he'd been imposed on,
and how the other dog had him in the door, SO
to speak, and he 'peafed surprised, and then he
looked sorter discouraged like, and didn't try
no more TO win the fight and 80 he got shuC ed
out bad. He give Smiley look, as much as to
say his heart was broke, and it was his fault,
puttiDg up dog that hadn't no hind legs for
him to take hold OF, which was his main depend
ence in fight, and then he imped off piece
and laid down and died.
1t was a good pup, was that Andrew Jack
son. and would have made a name for nisself il
he'd lived, for the stuff was in him. and he had
genius; know it, because he hadn't had any
opportunities to speak of, and it don't stand to
reason that dog could make such fight as he
could under the circumstances If he hadn't no
talent. 1t always makes me feel sorry when 1
think or that last hight OF his'n, and the way it
turned out.
Well, this yer Smiley had rat tarriers and
chicken cocks, and all them kind of things, till
you couldn't rest, aud you couldn't fetch moth
ing for him to bet on but he'd match you. lie
ketched frog one day and took him home,
and said he carklsted to edercate him; and SO
he never done nothing for three months but sit
In his back yard and learn that frog to jump.
And you bet he did learn him to. He'd give
him little punch behind, and the next minute
you'd see that frog whirling in the air like a
dOughnut see him turn one summerset, or
maybe couple, IL he got a good start, and
come down affected and all right like a cat.
He got him up in the matter OF catching flies
and kept him in practice so constant that he'd
nail fly every time as far as lie could see him.
Smiley said all frog wanted was education,
and he could do most anything; and believe
him. Why. I've seen him set Danl Webster
down here on this foor-Danl Webster was the
name of the frog-and sing out, 50 Flies! Danr,
fies!'! and qucker'n you could wink he d spring
straight up and snake fly otf'n the counter |
there and flop down on the floor again as solid |
as a COB of mud, and fall to scratching the side
Of his head with his hind foot, as Indifferent as
Il be hadn't no idea he'd been doing any more |
than any other frog might do.
You never see frog so modest and straight,
when 1t came to a fair and square jumping on |
dead level. he could get over more ground at |
ever see. jumping on a dead level was his
strong suit, you understand; and when it comes |
to that, Smiley would ante up money on him as
proud of bis frog and well he might be, for fell |
lows that had travelled and been everywhere all |
said he laid over any frog that ever they see.
aud he used to fetch him down tow and lay for |
bet. One day a feller-a stranger in the |
camp, ne was-come across him with his box
and says:
What might it be that you've got in that
box?"
And Smiley says, sorter Indifferent like: ait |
might be parrot, or it might be a canary, may
be, but it ain't-it's only Just frog"
And the teller took it and looked at IL careful
and turned it round this way and that and says:
"H'm! so tits. Well, what's he good for?"
"Well," Smiley says, easy and careless, "be's
good enough for one thing, should judge-he
can outjump any frog in Calaveras county"
The Teller took the box again, and took an
other long, particular look, and gave it back to
Smiley, and says, very deliberate: "Well, |
don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any
better n any other frog"
"Maybe you DON'T" Smiley says "Maybe |
you understand frogs, and maybe you don't un.
derstandem; maybe you've had experience, and |
maybe you amt only an amateur as it were. |
Anyways, I've got my opinion, and III risk |
forty dollars that he can Outjump any frog in |
Calaveras county.
An the fellow studied a minute, and then |
says, kinder sad like, swell, 1 am only a |
stranger here, and amt got no frog; but if |
had frog I'd bet you.'
And then Smiley says, "That's all right |
that's all right; if you'll hold Iny box minute,