The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-08-09

! The Washhurns are everywhere and into every
thing. one or two of them are Governors, one
of them is a Foreign Minister, fifteen or twenty
Of them are in Congress, and, as II TINS were NOT
enough to satisfy their Unsuitable demands lor
place, one Of them has recently broken lhlo Inc
| Massachusetts PcnltcntiarJ- --C0uf"f-J""fh"'
An uptown young lady speaking of one Of her
aycrsions, said the seucrest thing on record
" He's almost a perfect brutc-he only lacks
instinct"
What made her mad was because he refused to
buy her more chewing gun.
The New York T,iJ,,nc has been hearing some
wOndcrous stories of the strength Of DR.. CoN's
vocal organs 1t remarks: 1t is SAID that those
who are too lazy or too dllidcnt to enter amy one
of the churches on Sunday, may stand anywhere
within a mile of his pulpit and hear DR.. ooX eN-
pound the Gospel to his congregation, WllIc III
their offices, one or two blocks off, San Francis
editors can peruse their exchanges ana near inc
Doctor preach at the same time.
"He is dead but he pays Just as well as he
ever did was the reply the Belfast Jo"""' got
to dunning letter.
Here is how an Iowa man gives his views on
his special grievance;
The grasshoppcr has become burden in Iowa.
He settles on the potatoes and the peas, and even
! the Lima beans, and when he has consumed the
latter, he deliberately pulls up the poles ana
swallows them. He eats the rail fences and
barks the trees and even digcsts grindstOncs and
water melons He fills the balmy morning air
with countless millions Of wings, and makes Il
buzzing like to moving army or a Iadys tea
party. The prospect is not encouraging
A youthful correspondent desires to know how
we would like to sai with Professor Wise on his
balloon voyage to Europe If you viii 20, my
dear hoy, and climb the least OF the many piles
! of twenty dollar gold pieces that would be re
trad "a hire To undertake. such VOYAGE
! You would find that ITS summit was wrapped III
perpetual w.-ro,pjer-JomnR.
Is Wise WISE unwisc or otherwise in attempt
mg that balloon feat? is our conundrum.
A book has Just been published, entitled,
|" Why She Refused Him." tits hardly necessary
to wade through hrec-hundrcd page volume
TO ascertain why she refused him 1t proves to
be because he wasn't rich, Of course
No, that wasn't it. She refused him because
Of the girls reason--just because.
Red Cloud wants hundred white squaws for
his braves. Here is chance for young women
to 90 west and grow up.
If Mr. Red Cloud isn't particular, and viii
accept white squaws that now serve IN the
capacity of wives, we think we could soon fill
his order with the free consent of a hundred
badly used husbands, and not go beyond the
limits Of our city
A Braidwood youth objects to postal cards be.
cause they are so hard to open.
Let him use an oyster knife.
Every few week, some one invcnts new kind
of worm or bug, with which to annoy the farm.
crs, thus:
Farmers will be interested to know tina. an
agricultrast has discovered an insect that Will
destroy the potato-bug. There is one slight OBJ
1.,,.r Hon. f,,tH Il
inc potato To lie in wait for the other bug, Nat.
lraiy the potato suffers. The agrcuturist fondly
hopes to discover another bug which will dcs-
roy the bug that destroys the potatobug.
According to the Daiiy Reporter an insurance
gent in Kansas City received the following dis
patch from headquarters the day after the Balti-
more fire:
sour company is sound nut. Loss in
Baltimore fire won't exceed 100000 Advance
'atcs - per cent. and go ahead. Our motto is
still Soc clto "m."
4 new rule has been added to the regulations
If the Boston schools to the effect that "in no
'asc shall corporal punishment be inflicted ON
my scholar for any oiicnsc until at least twenty.
our hours after the Oticnsc is committed for
which such punishment is inflicted"
We're we an Interested boy, we should like the
above rule, and especially that portion which
dcfcrs punishment and the longer ii is deferred
the better,
Eighteen physicians Of Cincinnati have dcclar.
ed that gymnastics in the public schools are
Iurtful to the health Of children. !
Now, let them abolish study at schools and
,ycrythng will be lovely.
Certain Congregational ministers in Massachu.
;ctts being reported out Of health and actually |;
suffering for the necessaries of life the Observer
links that, If the churches are unable or unwli,
ing torcmcdy the evil application for aid should
he made to the Sandwich Islands or to India.
Lester s. Wilson, says the Polo Press, senior
,ditOr of the Oregon grange, furnished local
for his own paper last week, by jumping from
moving train and breaking his leg
The above is another evidence of enterprise.
\ widc-awlkc editor don't care cent about
cg or two when it becomes necessary to get up
IN item for his paper
Mary Ann Chase, a colorcd girl Of Peoria, took
40 Of back pay from her father the other day
md clipped with the object Of her affections.
Thus the coIored folk, rise 10 a level with the
whites.
After generous dinner of green corn and
,ucumhcrs," Mr.. snyder, of Lynchdcld, died, re-
GENTLY, and the local paper, chroniccd the fact
rs mysterious dispcn-ation Of Providence. II
\ pair Of robins were found to have built their :
nest and raised al brood Of young ones under the |
hat which Connecticut farmer had placed ON Il :
scarccrow n his strawberry patch.
And that farmer is mad, you bet When il =
gets 50 that birds Won't scare, what /, the man I
To do II
On the duvY. trip OF the negro excursion party :
To Chronicle en- Tuesday Il spark from the loco q
motives smoke stack ignitcd the moss aud uakum \
waterfall of a colurcd woman who stood on one q
uf the platforms, and that ornamcntation was -
almost entirely consumed when the smell of
burnt wool discovered the state of affairs u
VObd, RrgSt,r I
An ONO peacock keep thr,ca acre, of potl,os, |,
clear ui bug>--kL u
out here the thing /, different for the bug,
arc 81 large that one cau keep three acres moi |,
only clear Of pcaco,k-, but POTATOES, and raise ,
large family besides.
Twenty Macoupiu girls had pipuir which NO ]
ut-Ytllfu.. ,yu. pt.rmiff,.F Ia attend Z