The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1873-07-09
Shaking Carpets.

""''t SeASh''uy VI tdkiHE up,
whipping, and putting down carpets is
upon, US. 1t, is one of the ills which
flesh is heir to, and cannot be avoided,
You go home some pleasant spring day.
at peace with tile world, and find tie
baby with clean face and get YOUR IA
vorite pudding for dinner. Then YOUR
wife tells you how much younger YOU
are looking, and says she really hopes
she can turn that walking dress she
wore last fall, and save the expense of
new suit, and then she asks Won if
You can't just help her about taking M
the carpet. If You are fool, and YOU
generally are by that time, you tell her
of course you can, just as well as not.
Then she gets a saucer for the tacks,
and stands and holds it, and then YOU.
get the claw and so down on your
knees and begin to help her. You feel
quite economical about the first three
lacks, and take them out carefully and
put them in the saucer. Your wife is
good about holding the saucer, and be-
suiles you with an interesting story.
about how your neighbours little boy is
not expected to live till morning.
Then you come to the tack with a
crooked head, and you get the claw
under it and the head comes off, and
the leather comes off, and the carpet
comes off, and rs it won't do to leave
the tack in tie floor, because it will
tear the carpet when it is put down
To -
knuckles, and get a silver under your
thumb nail. and tell your wife to Slut
up about that everlasting boy, and
make up your mind that it does not
make any difference about that tack,
and so you begin on the corner where
the carpet is doubled two or three
times, and has been nailed down with
a single nail. '' -.
You don't care q continental about
saving the nail, because you find that
it is not a good time for the practice of
economy, bat you do feel little hurt
when both claws break off from the
claw aud the nail does not bulge a
peg. Then your manhood asserts it.
self, and you raise in your might, and
throw the carpet with both hands, and
the air is full of dust and flying tacks,
and there is a fringe Of carpet yarn all
along the mop board, and the baby
cries and the cat goes anywhere, any
where out of the world, and your wife
says You ought to be ashamed of your
self to talk so-bnt that carpet comes
UP. Then you lift one side of the
stove, and your wife tries to get the
carpet from under it, but can't because
you are standing on it. So you try
new hold, and just after yonr back
breaks the carpet is clear. lon are
not through yet. Your wife don't tell
you any more little stories, but gets
yonr old coat and hangs it on you, and
opeus the back door aud sloyes YOU
out, and intimates that the carpet
needs whipping. When you hang the
sormcnting thing across the, clothes
line the wrong way, and get it righted,
aud have it slide off into the mud, AID
hang it up again, and get half pint OF
dust and three broken tacks snapped
out OF the northwest, corner into YOUR
mouth by the wind, You make some
observations which you neglected to
mention while in the house. Then
you hunt up a stick and go for, that
carpet. 'atr - 80 ~
The first blow hides the sun and all
the fair face of nature behind a cloud
of dust, and right in the center of that
cloud, with the wind square IN your
face, no matter how you stand, you
WELD that cudgel until both hands are
blistered, and the milk of human kind
ness curdles in your bosom. You can
whip the carpet longer or shorter
period, according to the size of Your
mad ; it don't make any difference to
the carpet, it is just as dusty and fuzzy
and disagreeable after you have whip
ped it two hours as it was when you
commenced. Then you hold it up,
with one corner dragging, and stumble
into the house, and have more trouble
with the stove, and fail to find any way
of using the carpet stretcher while you
stand Oh the carpet and fail to find
any place to stand off from the carpet,
and then you get on your knees again,
while your wife holds the saucer, and
with blind confidence hands you bro
ken tacks, crooked lacks, tacks with
no points, tacks with no heads. lacks
with no feathers, tacks with the big
gest ends on the points. Finally the
carpet is down and the baby comes
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