The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-11-08

A good little boy in st. Adams told his BIZ
brother that if he would put his toe upon lG'
chair he would cut it off. His big brother lau@h
inuly complied when the little fellow deliberately
choppcd il off with Ratchet The good little
i,oy couldn't tell n lie and will probably have his
head put on postage stamps Il hundred years
hence.
The editor of a new paper in Nebraska, bcgar
his Introductory article with the following sen
tence. "The object in view in the establishment
Of this paper is the procuring of means where
with TO buy bread and butter and good clothes"
The Henry RcpuJlicaniis skcptical on the sub.
icct of the demise of the democratic party, cY.
pressing its misgivings thusy:
The democratic partys dead,
As all of you do know;
But very nimblc corpse proved
To be in Ohio.
Rock Island boasts of an old German Bible 355
years old. If that book had been anywhere else
but in Rock Island it would have been worn out
long ago,
One more unfortunate,
Too mad to be cool,
Rashly importunatc,
Kicked at a mule!
About that time the irate gentleman felt some
thing and he went to bed with ten days rest.
A michigan manufacturer mas eighteen lnOus-
and broomhandlcS ready for shipment. This
ought to set husbands to thinking about coming
home early.
The local editor of the Jacksonville, Fla, Re-
publican compliments the honesty OF the post
master at that place because letter containing
G ten dollar bill addressed to negro woman, was
promptly delivered to the party for whom it was
intended.
man at Princeton College nails his slippers
on the wall, four feet up, and then all he has to
do of an evening is to wheel up his easy chair in
front Of them.
Surgery is reaching stage where it threatens
TO Illustrate the benevolent designs of first class
railroad smashup. When it gets SO that crushed
bones can be repaired with ivory pegs or replaced
by the turning lathe, the manufacture OF
cripples must play out. Here is how shattered
limb was treated by Washington sawboncs
The doctor sawed off the shattered ends, then
small holes were drilled in each of the bones,
and in each hole was placed securely Il
small ivory peg that would not cause
Inflammation The ends Of the bones were then
put together and firmly bound to each other by
silver wire that was fastened around pegs. The
limb was placed in anterior spllnts, that there
may be no movement Of the parts until nature
has a chance to unite the bones that have been
brought together.
We are proud to record that we have Justice
IN Illinois who has the nerve to place counting
on its proper level. The case was one where a
citizen prosecuted his daughters lover for eject.
ing him (tLc citizen) from his own parlor on the
Sunday eyenS; previous. Said this "righteous
Judge"
II pears that this yong fellow was courtin' the
al
put out by defendant Courtn is a public ne.
Gessty, and must not be interrupted. Therefore
the law OF Illinois will hold that parent has no
legal right in room where courtin' is afoot and
so the defendant is discharged and plaintiff must
pay costs.
We probably spent pleasant half hour at the
High School building last Wcdncsday.-imboyI
Times.
If you spcnta year or two there it wouldn't
hurt you.
Vermont girls have got the hang Of postal
cards. Last week nice young man in Green.
boro had his wounded heart laccratcd still more
by postal card from his Ann Eliza which said,
you needn't come Saturday night nor any
other night; don't want to see YOU
The life insurance agents gave Shreveport and
Memphis o wide berth this summer, but the yell
low fever had no terror for book agents. Two of
them are mentioned as being at Memphis in the
height Of the epidemic canyassing among the
nurses for subscriptions to comic book.
\ Michigan exchange describes Il shocking
accident in this way:
\ kalamasnoozer, named Godfrey poled him.
self into the knuckle-joint of a shaft, which
wound him up at the rate Of 2OO revolutions pcr
minute. Being short man the execution was
rapid
The village of Plano, in thi, state, wa. smittcn
this fall by an epidemic as bad a, the fever Al
Memphis. II was caused by the chiuyia arising
from lot Of hogs that had died of cholera and
been carelessly buried in the south part Of ,br
town abd afterwards partially rooted out by other
hogs The nog cholera takes all kinds Of hogs
Nothing so effective for defense rs substantial
brcastwork,. For example:
s young lady, while walking with her lover
was attacked By savage dog, who seized her by
the breast and tore It from her body. The lover
was paralyzed with horror, but she went for the
dog with picket remarking that " that ere cost
a dollar and half, and want made for no dog TO
shaw up"
4 Rumor that Senator John A. Logan and Geo
:. Bangs, of Aurora, had bought and were about
TO assume control OF the Chicago Iater.Orean has
been going the rounds. but proves 10 he untrue
- Wdnkegdg GOzetts-
John A. Logan has some qualities that raise
him above the common level, chicIcst among
which are stentorian lusgs and infinite brass
But writing editorials is not his forte. To do
that creditably one must understand grammar.
A Dixon, KY, editor comes out strong against
the hogs Of that town. He says they annoy him |
every day in the week by roofing down his buck
steps, and on Sunday they annoy him by scrub
hing their backs against the floor 'irnhsrs OF the
church.