Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-03-06


"A San Francisco lawyer, a shor. time
since, went down on the whaEf to breathe
the invigorating atmosphere of the bay.
He had been there but few minutes
when he was seized by two men, hustled
into boat, and rowed off to ship, The
Two Brothers, bound for Cork, and to
sail with the ebb tide. He was cast ct
once into the forecastle, and his demand
to be put ashore was treated with de-
rision, and he was told that the ship had
paid $50 bounty for him. In short time
a man whom the lawyer happened to
know came alongside, and the condition
of affairs was made known to him. The
master of the ship, finding that he would
be sure to be Overhauled and detained if
he persisted in carrying off the lawyer,
allowed him to depart.
MANY persons say that they have tried al
most every remedy that has been recon-
mended for humors, and they are no better
now than when they commenced them,
and they have no confidence in anything that
is advertised to cure Salt Rheum, Erysipelas,
and all similar humors. We would say to
these that there is now remedy that as vet
has never failed of curing those diseases.
1t acts upon an entirely different principle
from anything ever offered for them; it
throws humor out of the blood through the
skin, which is the only channel through
which the system can be entirely freed from
them. If you will try it, you will not say of
this as you have by the other, for it will
cure you. We refer to DR.. WeaVer's Salt
Rheum Syrup.
For sale by all Druggists.
AS an old colOred man and his son
stopped in front of an umbrella store, the
sen saw some umbrellas with covers on
them, and questioned his father: Whats
de cover on dem dare umbrellas for?"
why, chile, denis put ober de umbrellas
to keep 'em dry when it rains" was the
fathers response.
KILLED By FALsEHooD.-"H He is
dead" said friend of ours the other
day, IN answer to an inquiry after the
health Of mutual acquaintance Dead!
you don't say so. Of what did he dlee"
"Of Credulity" was the reply, che be-
lieved in patent medicine of which the
chief ingredient was forty-rod rum, and
1t proved the death of him" This was
true; the unfortunate man has taken for
liver complaint, a compound of fiery al
cohol and root juice, and it had killed
him. Now, did that misguided invalid
require tonic? He did; but not a
spirituous excitant. The writer of this
brief statement is confident, from his own
experience, that if the Martyr to Drugged
Alcohol, had resorted to DIR. WALKERS
VINEGAR BITTERs, instead of to the poison
acath a medical name which proved fatal
to him, he would to-day be in the land of
the living. The justly popular vegetable
specific contains no destructive element. It
is tonic that does not excite, a cathartic
that does not weaken, an antiseptic that
neutralizes the seeds of disease in the
blood and other fluids of the body, and
general Alternative which arrests diseased
actlon In the secretiye organs, and re-
stores the functional regularity indispens-
able to health and vigor. We are no
trend OF indiscriminate praise, and be-
lleVe that many patent medicines are
merely poison, but the experience of
thousands has proved the VINEGAR BIT
TIERS to be ali they claim.
SOME men, without medical knowledge.
advertise their unskillful preparations to
cure every disease, which is impossible: nor
can they always cure the same disease
While DIR. Pierce's Family Medicines have
thelr legitimate range, and have proven the
most valuable curatives ever given to the
puplc, yet ne is fully competent to use anv
necessary auxiliary treatment, that ali NAV
recover. His private practice is enormous
fatlents from every quarter wait on him.
While thousands are treated by letter. and
special medicines sent by mail or EXPRESS
A small outlay will secure his valuable SER.
vices. Address, with stamp, Dr. R. Y
Fierce, Buffalo, N. Y, for printed list
OF questions, to assist in describing your
oo 10
PROFESSOR 8. DANA HAYES. endorses
Ire queens Toilet" for the Complexion.
as valuable preparation and free from
,ora IF you you are tired OF having your linen col
WICK, and be troubled no more, ""'