The Portland daily press., 1873-03-06
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM IN ADVANCE.
The "Responsible'' Editor.

A few days ago We went out OF town cl
business. We left the paper in the care Of
the sub-editor. and told him to be sure and
lock the building carefully at night, TO see
'nat there was no danger CT fire, to keeps a
eye 10 the main chance, to tell the truth and
ininu MS manners. The sub-edtor ronlised
ooeuience IN all respects, we hastily packed
-'ie 'aiise and went. At the end oi
.,nee or iour Gays, We returned; We took I'D
'ne ia't number Of the Atlanta WcekIy and
there we saw an article, written in o,,- srh-
edltore- st style, telling several little anac.
dotes OF the ''repssla contemporary" career
that did more credit to .,sss .,,,s shrewdness than
70 the honesty of the synchronou. .,aurian.
we rushed into the sub-editor's room
Jared the youth, and inquired what h. b.d
been doing so fo-. He said the opposi,;O.
paper had stated that we were utterly an,
irreclaimably mendacicus; trusting that the
fact OF our absence would obviate any danger
to ITSELF While We were gently shown.
the sub editor the error Of his ways. The er.
rand boy of the rival establishment Knocked
at the door and handed US note, in large.
yellow envelope, addressed to Us in the
largest and blackest style. We opened
it-it was, as we expected, a challenge
to mortal combat. We handed 1t to the
sub-editor. He was overcome with GRIEF
and repentance, said be should fight that ed
itor-would save GU. precious life and de-
sccnd to his patent metallic casket, happy in
having repaired his fault s.eTo,,, said VIC,
"its too late; We are held personally respon-
slols for whatever appears In the columns Of
the Atlantic Weekly. 1t may be our senti-
nents, or 1t may not. That's Of no conse-
quence." So We sat down and began to write.
Inc sub-editor sat at the other side of the
table and watched US sa ;ly. We wrote:
'Dear Mr.. -: We regret to dse,iue your DO
lite invitation: cur aunt's brother-in-law
was quaker and we naturally have scruples
against the shedding Of blood--ow own, ws
mean.
Yours In the best Of spirits, tfor mechani-
cal purposes only) -- -
Office of atlanta Weekly"
The sub-editor says q sweet and solemn
calm rceted upon our face as we penned
those lines. He thought we were settling
our worldly affairs and preparing to die, but
we assureA him It wouldn't take as long as
that to make the will OF the average Journal
ist. He said his life would be at our service,
but we told him We would be satisfied If he
would be q little more careful how he read
proof, and wouldn't use such abnormal die
tion for the telegraphc headings. The next
day we the rival editor coming toward u
on the street. We began organizing a brill
liant reply to any opprob-ious remarks he
might make--we like to compose our sarcas-
tic impromptus observation-disclosures we have
talent for prccrastinatory repartee-that is,
we never can think of scathing reloinder
till the day after, when it's too late, and our
anger has usually subsided. But when the
enitor came nearer, we noticed an expression
of great relief on his face--he shook hands
with us--said something that we didn't sx-
actly follow about ''amenities of journalism
unintentional-in purely Pickwickian sense
of CO .rse-always respect conscientious
scruples-nlce morning." So we still
live; and the sub-editor says "this sort OF
thing shall never happen agaic, you know"
And we have frm faith that 1t won't-until
next time.