Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-08-22
Il JUNIOR.

Rev Mr.. FrazelI. a Methodist clergyman
at Elmwood, Illinois. ip temperance meet
ing pointed a moral with the silver plated
coffin Of the late Mr. Leslie. which he said
was purchased with te signs and groans of
drunkard,s families, the late Mr.. Leslie hav
ing in his Lifetime been puhlicau as we'll
as a sinner. The relict of, the late Mr..
Leslie then armed hersef with rawhide
and exhorted Mr. Frazell from the par bic
of the widow might
Tie following item gives hint which
seems worthy the careful consideration. Of
all who have laxative wives :: Tho gil.
in aSpringfeld Mass factory are suppI".'l
by the proprietors with chewing -um. il
order that they may not waste time in talk.
ing.''o 5e 1sqbfl
'Cerebr o-spi'gal lnsningi'i.' seemed .uco
q terrible title to an old gen,l=man named
Russell in Stevenson. Ala. wio mai n~yer
heard it before aud vas qul;e iguorAn' q: lis
significance. that when told bs the doctor
that such was the designation ii his com
plant, he took down his rife and shot hilu.
self.
A Georgia paper recooly contained the
following item in its society gossip: 'tTte
amiable aud delicious Miss Pilkingtop.
whose charms Of mind and person have
turned the heads Of our gallants, now los
her hair in braids, and pstronizea this pa
per exclusively in her rers2h~l makeup?
The retiring editor of q Kansas paper
''yaledicts" himself as follows IF have
said anything through these columns thar |
am sorry for, | am glad Of it. 70 mS
friends, thauk you FOR your liorraii'y
and to my enemies, you can go to the d
vii" ..,
A Clay County, Keutuoky auctinneer
pulled out revolver and announced II
any man goes. frolickiag around while III
sale is going on shall Interrupt him IL 'iis,
career Put them snot guns over BY t..
fence an leave em thar !" a490F n
The editor of the 1900 ''Gazelt.:. havn.
heard that sulphur in the seeks I'll = event
cholera, has worried stick otibrimstrne OCT
of the new druggist, and uos sanis p'pe
one to loan him pair Of socks whilci he
tries the. thing a. a.fz
Molly said Joe O'Brirn's ghost o 49,
wife. I'm in Purgatory at hi. pes
time,' says he a gsl.a
And what sort OF a pacci it 2 say Vi 2
Fax, says he, 'its a sort OF half+'';
house between you and heaven :; and
stand it mighty aisy after cavilg snu.
AsDetroit boy stood sn urnhr.lla, wi
cord tied CIT, in apublc) doc. way. Sew
enteen persons thought taat u1ni,rela was
their, and carried it with them h.. leugth If
the string. They then suddenly dropped
il and went off without nnce locking hack or
stopping topick it up:I a'H .e.li&.
A Sioux chief, after following survey
ing party on the Northeru Pacific for some
days, milily remarked that ,hs.y might 90
on, for he'd be ID if be freeze to death
for what hair there was in that crowd
Harvey discovered tho circulation of the
blood before he was thirty TOUR YET some
editors get to be over a hundred before they
can discover the exact circulation of their
own newspapers. seer
A. druggist advertises that. in consequence
OF cholera in neighboring cities, be will
close his soda fountain from date, and that
all tickets will be redeemed 10 cash or a
very reliable cholera mixture. i7a
The Readsburg wis "Freo Press EN-
ploys women exclusively It,says: @Wa
have a calico foreman, two dimity .'com.
positors," and the sweetest little devil 'in
pink muslin 10 be found anywhere. +" 4-,-3sf
/. A Texas town was recently visited by
clergyman for the first time in it's history
The appreciatiye citizens offered him the
hospitalities eff the town and got up grand
horse race for his entortainment.
The fancy terminus ''lie" to feminine no.
menclature, has met with disaster out
vest-very far west Miss Bell AXE had
some cards printed in this manner, and
che consequences are apparent
People who have been sending after the
''queer," or counterfeit money, will no
doubt be pleased to learn that full lists Of
names are being made for publication
IA man addicted to snoring remarked to
his bed-fellow in the morning that he silent
like top II know it, said the other
like humming top"
An Iowa wife of thirty-fve years exper
snce. having received legacy of $500, imi
mediately invested it in divorce suit
"A boy defines salt as s'the stuff that makes
potatoes taste bad when you don't put any
on"
There is q young lady in town who boasts
Of two beaux but they are elbows. 81
When man's necktie il united how un-s
tidy he looks. 80 =, asga5 5sos
Chemists say no matter is ever lost
Printers deny it. s9Hg
There is law irmin Boston called Steele
and Gamble. 3ai4 s39se go.
20 A--T7-t--ss5