Huntington independent. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1871-1874, 1873-08-28
VARIETIES

D has been caught milking his neigh
J boris cows at early dawn.
Florida Is walking into three pound
spiders and giving them another.
Judge Rosr refers to Ben. Butler
as the Tichborpe claimant of the
Massachusetts, Goverlorship.
Three Buffalo men have been, kill
ed by lager,beer glasses within. .
year. hut lager itselfis beneficial.
! Georgia "crackera was Ossred 81
per day to labor, when be exclaimed: !:
"Sir, dye s'posc Id work when Pve
Ejest discovered fresh coon traokp
A man nlmed Blouut King at
Etcmpted to kill his wife in Goldsboro
last Thursday, and falling TO disoov-
er her hiding IlaGe, shot himself
through the head, dying ipstnpilg.
A girl named Lucinda Smith, at
a dance in Miysville, Ky, called
justice into a room, sighted revol-
yer at Charles Brown, and Csarles
married her without muTmur.
A St. Louis woman made a mis-
take and publicly aDgged the wrong
man. Cowhiding affairs nave become
common iu that citv, and ASSISTANTS
are not expected to be accuratein all
cases
Professor Wise declines 10 take
ANY female with him. She would
want to take fourteen satchels and
trunk, and would be growing all
tho time about her lost band -bo xes.
A new dress which q Brattleboro
woman invented worked 40 well that
while walking along one oftSa IEb-
lie streets, the entire garment fell to
the sidewalk, leaving her costumed
like a Georgia major.
A worthy old lady offers the follow
ling advice 20 gTs: ''WAepevsr q
fellow pops the question, dopt blush
aud stare at your foot. just throw
your arms around his neck, look him
full in the face, and commence talk
ing abozt the furniture"
A Bennington daughter, whose do
nestle nature is equal to h'r natural
simplicity, was invited by an Advent
exhorter to join his sect, get ber white
robe ready, and prepare 10 ascend. u
can't the maid replad Gather and
mother are going up, and somebody
must stay to see to the cattlo."
Professor Daniels, Of Vermont.
made a bet that be could hook fero-
cious bull out Of cosutenance, and
competent judges estimate that tho
Professor was shrovn up twenty sew
en- feet. The Doctor was eventually
saved by the courage aud tenacity Of
his IsgS
A wealthy Philadelphia hther
gave his consumptiye son money 70
take lessons in boxing, and TO afford
further exercise appointed him his
collector of rents. Seven Of bis
houses are BOW empty, aud seven Of
his best former tenants have taken
their black eyes into court, demand
Ing heavy damages The young in
valid has sailed for Cubs,
SAYS the Fayetteville Eagle Of The
9th instant: About one year ago
Mr.. Abiel Deal, an old man Of over
one hundred years, profess1 religion,
but has been unable to be baptized
according TO his faith until last Sun
day, when be was carried in Q chair
from his residence, in this county,
three miles below Fayetteville, near
Spring Hill to a creek several hun
drcd yards distance, and then emmers-
cd by the Rev. L. K. Statror, OF this
town.
The Chris,ian Union has depart
meDt devoted to answering "inquir-
ing friends To q correspondent
who asked tho editors opinion Of
croquet playiOs the following remark
able answer was rsturped: "Wo
think it is amusing to women, agree
able to men, and ficinating to minis
ters. FoF all persons who need gen
tie exercise It is even better than
billiards: indeed il is a kind Of field
billiards, or "billIa gone to grass. F"
any body that is too pious to play Gro
quet ought to bo done up in starcbed
linen, put in a bag, and hung up like
a suit Of Sunday clothes, aud not let
out till meeting time