The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-12-20
Chicago.

Somebody, calling himself " st. Louis
Chap" writes as follows: Chicago,
when first discovered, was nearly on a
level with the lake, but the first Board
of Alderman that was elected raised the
grade forty feet. Every successive
Board go few feet better than their
predecessors, and the result is the pres
ent location of the city on high bluff,
with the best drainage of any city in the
world. The surroundings of the city
are probably the most beautiful OF any
in the world. Lincoln Park has the
the finest natural scenery of any park
in the world, besides having the finest
collection of wild animals to be found
on this continent. 1t is said that Bar
mum has succeeded in securing the col
lection, including the wonderful arte-
sian well, for his great show. Chicago
people become enthusiastic over Lin
coin Park when describing its wonder
full natural beauties.
Chicago is the greatest railroad CEN
tire in the United States-every road OF
any Importance has to centre there.
Wisconsin has been struggling along
for the last few years feebly trying to
make Milwaukee their railroad centre,
but finally had to cave and centre in
Chicago. The Pacific Railroads, the
Atlantic Cable, the Gulf Stream, the
Equator, and the North Pole also CEN
tire there. The Pyramids of Egypt, the
Leaning Tower, the Giants Causeway,
the Suez Canal, and the Credit Mobil-
ier would have been built there if they
could have stood the taxes and found a
sufficiently permanent foundation.
Chicago has the best governed and
most efficient Police Department in the
world, not excepting Paris, being run
alternately by the Mayor and Board of
Police Commissioners in perfect har-
mony. Villains give that city wide
berth, knowing the certainty of detec-
ton and immediate punishment when
committing any little irregularity with
in the limits of the municipality. There
is so little use for policemen in Chicago
that the Legislature are thinking of
abolishing the Board of Police Com
missioners.
1t is currently reported (and believed
by Chicagoans) that since the great
fire the city contains about 100000
inhabitants. (This no doubt includes
Milwaukee and Bridgeport, two subur-
ban villages contiguous to that munich
pality.) There are no poor people in
the city; those that were not burned
up were Immediately passed out of the
city by the railway companies, and have
not been able to get back since. 1t is
generally supposed in the rural districts
that Mrs. O'Leary's COW was hired to
kick over the lamp as Chicago adver-
tising dodge. Mrs. O'Leary's COW was
examined by the Board of Police Com
missioners, and testified positively that
there was no shindy going on at the
time. The destruction was ordered,
undoubtedly, for similar reasons alleged
for the destruction of Sodom, in Bible
times. 1t was SO believed by Bostoni-
ans until quite recently.
The carpenters and brickmasons of
Chicago, however, intend erecting
magnificent brazen image of the COW,
in commemoration Of the best kick
their unions ever had. This monu-
ment will be erected as soon as a
piece of real estate can be found within
the city limits large enough for the COW
to stand upon, that is not mortgaged for
more than it would be worth at a liberal
estimate ten years hence. We under
stand George Francis Train has express
ed an opinion that the COW will have to
be erected in an adjoining county.
George is undoubtedly prejudiced
against Chicago, having hashed in their
bastile.