The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-08-21
OUR cHP-BAsKET.

The last men-Coblers.
Observation-Disclosures
Cutting stick-Dropping prosaic sac-
quaintance.
Why is a thriving tradesman like lee?
Because he is solvent
Tke, hrsbsndman sows wheat while the
wif4 ,sevs " tares."
Apoet begau an apostrophe to the ocean
with "Prodigious dampness."
An Irish editor congratulates himself that
half the lies told about him amt true.
If seven days make one week, how many
make one strong?"
It matters not how man dies, but how he
lives
Peace hath her victorious; more fall in love
than in war.
Many man who is only dreaming fancie
himself wide awake.
81 never saw as cold a woman as Mrs.
- il" said an envious beauty of another,
the other evening. "I feel confident she
must give her husband cold in the head
whenever she kisses him"
A New York female who read that the
Hoosac Tunnel cost 5000 per yard, said she
woul have dress pattern off from that
piece if the old man didn't lay up cent for
the next two years.
A Danbury woman, called up to attend
the bedside of dying friend, was deprived
of the melancholy pleasure by the delay oc-
casioned in borrowing breastpin suitable for
the occasion.
Having bill against man in Kenne-
beck town, We sent letter Of enquiry to q
newspaper man Of that locality The reply
was 'he is dead; but pays just as we'll as he
ever did
Teacher" How many kinds of axes are
there 2"
Boy-"Broad az, narrow ak, post Ak, ak
of the Legislature and ak of the Apostles"
Teacher-"Good boy; you shan't be whip
ped"
Dignifed Clerk-Arc you going to marry
yourself?
Facetious Patlander-Arrah, now when
did liver ye hear till of sgintleman marrying
himself? Sure there's a4ady goin' to be mar
ried along wild me"
1t is not the bees touching on the flowers
that gathers honey, but her abiding for
time upon them. and drawing out the sweet.
1t is not he that reads most, but he that
meditates most on divine truth that will
prove. the choicest, wisest, strongest chris
tiau.
A Terre Haute boy of tender years and
heart drowned seventeen kittens, tied pans
to the tails of nine dogs, brushed his fathers
new hat against the kettle and blew up the
pet canary with fire cracker, in the last
month, and still his mother intends him for
the pulpit.
There is an inconsistency in anger very
common in life, which is, that those who are
vexed to impatience are angry to see others
less disturbed than they are; but when others
begin to rave, they Immediately see in them
what thev could not find in themselves, the
deformity and folly Of useless rage.
The Nashville Banner tells that Mr.. G.
S. Newsom, of that city has invented a most
ingenious washing machine" The best wash
ing machine we ever saw was invented thou
sands of years ago, and sold before the late
war for $500 or 5000; but one Of Linsoln's
proclamations broke the handspring of it,
and it has been rather worthless piece Of
machinery ever since
"The musketo is intensely religious" said
Sparques to his spouse to-day. How so !"
she inquired because he is preying all the
time" said S. Mrs. Sparques smiled at her
husbands Joke, but Immediately said, "Mus-
ketos are not religious" "Whyf" asked
Sparques. Because they present their bills
on Sundays" Sparques went out for walk
and for meditation.
Mr.. Cough tells good story illustrative
of quaint Scottish humor: "Two sparks from
London once came upon decent looking
shepherd in Argyleshre, and accosted him
WITH You have very fine view here--you
can see a great way. 'Yu aye, yu aye,
ferry great way All you can see America
here, l suppose 'Farrar than that How
is that? 'Yu jist wait tule the mists gang
away, and you'll see the mune.'"
ONLY FIT FOR THE LAw.-An old lady
walked into lawyers Office lately and the
following conversation took place: :,
Lady0Squire, called to see if you would
like to take this boy and make lawyer of
him.
Lswyer.--The boy appears to be rather
young madam; how old is he!
Lady-Seven years, SIR :,
Lawyer-Hs is too young, decided, too
Young; have you no older boys!