The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-02-11
SUING AND WOOING.
BY JUDGE CLARK.

By JUDGE CLARK.
There are attachments and attach
ments,as the French say and the danger
of getting them is illustrated by pas
sage from the life Of Hiram Skinner.
Mr.. Skinner, in days gone by, was d
sharp collecting attorney in neighhor-
| ing city, an ornament Of his class His
scent on the track of concealed property
was keener than that of fox hound on
warm trail He knew, to spoon,
what an embarrassed householder WIS
entitled to keep from his creditors, and
a penny's worth beyond he would have
unearthed, though hidden in the center
of the globe. When poor Dedbrokess
wife &ieds Hiram enteEea the house vita
the undertaken. accompanied hv depr
| ty sheriff, and levied on the coffin, jnst
as they We're going to put the corpse in;
and when bis right to do SO was ques
toned, answered that widower without
children was not the head of a family,
and collins were not mentioned in the
statute Of exemptions. The bereaved
husband was forced to take the wedding
ring from his dead wife's finger, and
pawn it to raise the money.
Had Hiram Skinner heart, was a
question on which anatomy and his daily
walk and conversation were at conside-
rable variance. But love stepped in and
, solved it. The charms OF the young
oil r
dazzled Hiram. Possessed of beauty
and an independent fortune, he set her
down as an angel, and an angel in good
circumstances, according to Hiramls
creed, was lawful object of worship.
Now while Hiram Skinner, profession
ally was The least backward of men, per-
sonally he was one of the most bashful
His little ferrety yes,that could look an
equivocating bankrupt through and
through, in social life became shy and
sheepish; and the voice that sounded so
bold when demanding instant payment,
in the drawing-rOom sank into confus-
ed stammer He would sooner have
stood the fire of Bill of Discovery,
with fishing interrogatories' prying into
the most secret acts of his life-some of
which were crooked enough-than have
faced the charming widow with an open
avowal of his feelings.
There was but one mode of proceed
[ ing to which he could screw his courage
up He might break the ice by writing,
and leave 1t to the return OF the city
post to lit him TO the pinnacle of hope,
or sink him in the depths of despair.
After many trials aud failures. for out
side of duns and declarations in assump-
sit. Hiram had little skill in composition,
he succeeded in producing the follow
ing: -,
Dec. l, 1S-.
DEAR MADAM: The sincere Attach.
ment--he always began that word yitt
capitaI-with which your muTtifafious
charms have inspired me, prompts me tc
take this method of giving notice of the
same.
Now, THEREFORE,, in consideration ol
the premises, hereby make you an un,
conditional tender of my heart ant
hand
Please acknowledge rect, and ans'r
Yours adolingly,
HIRAM SKINNER.
j And then-for Hiram never neglected
business-he scrawled off with the faci
Iity of practiced hand, second note
which ran thus:
i MADAM: will stand no nonsense
Unless get satisfactory answer a
once, you will find an Attachment is al
affair hot to be trifed with. Yrs, DC,
j HIRAM SKINNER.
This was intended for another widow
|-Skimp by name, proprietress of |
cheap boarding house and mother of sil
childreu--against whom Mr. Skinner
had a butchers bill for collection, OF
which he had been threatening to insti
tute legal proceedings, Unless one-hal
should be paid cash down, and the hal
ance in ten days-a proposal to whicl
the widow strongly demurred y,
! The two letters sealed, directed ant
posted, Hiram waited the course o
events. A day ought to bring an answe
to both, and it did to one of them-no
/ the one, however, to which respons
was the most anXiously looked for
Ms Skimp "took her pen in hand"
so her answer began-"to inform Mr.
, Skinner as she had concluded to eXcep
his proposal. wich it was very han'som
, OF him to make, and menny thanks, ant
would Mr.. s. do her the favor TO cal
round that AFTERNOON winding NJ
wi h, ''your'n to command"
"Good = said Hiram, when he had fin
! ished reading. 81 thought she'd com
down at last; and lucky enough she did
for not cent could have been made OF
| her 10y law"
Mr. Skinner, who never proctastinate,
, in matters of business, lost no time il
: calling on Mrs. Skimp, in the stron:
hope of coming away with the first in
stallment of his clients bill in his pock
ct. A
When the visitors name was an
4 nounced, the widow was busy redncin
the remains of beefSteak which ha
, proved too tough for her boarders {
e breakfast, into hash for their supper :
The exercise had brought glow int
her cheeks, and after lidying up littl,
: and reading the domestic riot act to tn
: lyoung Skimps, and dispensing them t
s invisible regions, she presented herse
e in the parlor.
n "Glad to see you, Mr. Skinner" sh
e said, smiling and courtesying.
It "Ive called in answer to your note,
replied the lawyer, stiffiy; "and as rr
e pressed for time, trust the matter ma
S be settled at once" .s
"Lawk! how very suddentr simpere
1.-The widow
Sudden" snarled Hiram s,''it's MOI
+ than a fortnight since first called, an
it's time the business was settled"
s "But the-the 'tachment," the wido
n istammered =" was only in your noIe {
: yesterday you limited at it, and
VI You'll see what will come of it b
: fore night" interrupted Hiram threatel
ingly, sunless my proposal is accepted
"And heuen't | excepted it," pleade
the widow, frightened at the lawyer
J look of desperation.