South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-06-20
A New Mrs. Caudle.

According to the Bowling Green (Ky.) Pan
tlgrOph, member Of the City Council Of that
town, upon returning home rather late one even.
ing last week, was RECALLED by his good lady with
an animated address in something like this
style:
Every night Here it is half-psst one
o'clock, Ifs a wonder you came home a,
all What-do-you-tbi --s-womau
is made forY do believe if n robber was
to como aud carry mo off, you wouldn't care
ONE cent. VIVA, is it you say City
Council busincss. must be attended to =
City Council business How do I know
you 60 to the City Council? DJes the
City Council meet e-v cry night They
don't meet but once in-New York. But,
| suppose, Bow ling CIR cen is
moro important place Oh Yes--out CIV.
cry night. Twelve oclock--one o'clock
two o'clock.-flere stay with children,
all alone-lyiug awake half Of the night
waiting for you. Couldn't como home any
sooner? OF course you couldn't if you
didn't want to. But l know something
you think / don't, but l do7 | wish
| didn't. Where we're you Monday
night? Tell ne that. The marshal told
me the City Council didn't meet that night
Now what have You got to say a.? Couldn't
get quorum! Well, if you couldn't why
didn't you come home Out e-v.e-r-y
night-hunling -for-a-quorum. But
you wouldn't hurt me this late if I was
missing. Where were you Thursday aud
Friday night There was n show in town
wasn't there? DO you always put on your
vest and a clean shirt to 60 to the Coun-
Gil What did you buy that bottle of
hair oil for and hide it? Oil for your
hone, indeed Who ever heard of hair
oil for milestone. So you think didnt
see you in the other room brushing and
greasing your hair, & looking in the glass at
your pretty self? "a man ought TO be de-
cent! He ought, ought he +? Yes and de-
cent man will stay at home with his wife
! sometimes, & not be out every night.
How comes it that the City Council didn'i
meet buttwi a month last year? Trying to
work it out of debit yes, that's proba-
ble-very Laughing and joking and swap
ping lies will work debt off, won't it
Now now-how-much-
onger-you-are-go ng-to-keep-thi
-nig bt-business Yes, want to know !!
Out every night. City Council, Freema-
I
oil-and its brush and brush until you We
nearly worn out the brush and your head
too. What ia it you say? 1T helps your
business to keep up your social relations (!
All, indeed You've got relations here at
home, sir. They need keeping up some,
think. What did you say abou. catching
it the other night at q euchre party !?
'Felers, it's II o'clock, but let's play a
while longer; we won't catch it any worse
when we get home a pretty speech for
d-e-c-e-n-t man Catch it! Catch
1t! Well, intend you shall catch it
a little. What's that you say If
wouldn't fret you so you would stay at
home more" Well, sir, do you stay at
home few nights and try it. Perhaps
the frettIng would stop. Out EVERY
night because you fret so. whats that
sir you know ladies who amt always
scolding their husbands y You do; do
| you? How come you TO know them
What business have you to know? What
| right have you to know whether other
women fret or not? That's always the
way. You men think that all the other
women are saints but your wives Oh,
/ yes, - saints, s.a i-n-t-s. I'll have you to
know, sir, that there isn'ta woman in this
town that's any more of saint than am .
know them all, sir "a Reap better
than you do. You sec the sugsr and bo-
ney side Of them, aud tbcy--ony
the-boney -sugar-of-yUu. Now,
SIR, just want you to know that if you
don't stay at home more than you do, I'll
eave these children to get burned up, and
I'll 90 out e-v. Grey night. When poor
woman gets desperate, why, sir, che is
desperate that's all