New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-06
Observations by Max AdelsH.

Thompson and Simms lived opposite each
other in narrow street uptown. They
were going on fishing excursion the other
day, and as they wanted to be sure TO wake
in time to catch the early train, they ran a
bit of clOthes-line across the street, in the
second story window, and each tied an end
10 his leg, so that if one awoke the other
would Immediately feel pull. The scheme
was an excellent one, and We know of no
reason why, under ordinary circumstances,
it should not have worked well But about
five o'clock that morning, some laborers
stopped in front of Simms' for the purpose
of erecting a telegraph pole. Wien the
hole was dug, they began to put the pole up
on end. But unfortunately it slipped, and
came down with tremendous force upon the
clothes-line. Mrs. Simms was very much
surprised to see Henry go over the foot of
the bed and shoot feet foremost out Of the
window; but even she was not more amazed
than Mrs. Thompson was when Archibald
performed the same feat. They met in the
middle of the street, clustering. as il were,
around the pole, both with leg broken.
They wake themselves now with alarm
clocks. 1t is safer and less exciting.
We were in at Chubbs the other after
noon, and while we stood at the back win
dow talking We saw gray cat climb up
tree in the yard and disappear. Presently
another gray cat crept to the foot of the
cat came sneaking down the yard and up it
went. We remarked that there must be a
general synod or constitutional convention
or something going on in that tree. just
then fourth cat was seen plunging over
the grass, yowling and switching its tail;
aud then it proceeded skyward Amoment
after cat tore furiously up the gravel
walk, turned three or four soMersalts on
the grass. emitted a couple OF unearthly
screeches and flew up the trunk. This
kind of thing continued for some time. and
Chubb. who became more and more eX-
citeaRs each additional ascent was made
at last exclaimed, "Merciful Peter. but
there must be lS,0O0000 cats up that tree
Gimme my gun, and I'll go for en-
They gave him his gun, and he fired doG-
ble handfulls OF bullets into the tree fifteen
times, and not cat fell. Then We went
out to investigate the subject. There were
no cats among the branches, Or anywhere
about the tree. Only at the foot of the
trunk. on the other side, we saw Chubb's
gray house cat sitting there licking its paws.
just then the hired girl came out and said:
"Misther Chubh, that eats been runnin up
one side of the tree an down the other the
whole afternoon, like mad. There's some.
thin the matter with EN-" Yes. it was
only one cat that had made all those as
cents. Chubb smiled sadly, and put mp his
gun and offered to trade us that cat for
bunch of asparagus and half a pound of
cheese but we refused. and now he is train
ing her to perform in menagerie.
We perceive in the papers that an At.
lanta doctor advises persons who wish to
avoid the cholera ''tO stand on their heads
for a considerable fine each day for the
parpose Of causing abdominal depression
II will be an etfecting spectacle for a man
to come home in the evening and see his
L. l.. ,en
on their heads in row in the entry waiting
for abdominal depression. We can not con-
scientiously recommend the prescription.
Ou: It is much better than that offered by
bethlehem doctor, who advised persons 70
get some one to sit upon their stomachs Tor
lew moments each day. Ridgely was
struck with the idea, and he asked his next
door nelghbor, McGann. to assist him. Nc
Cam weighs. over two hundred pounds,
and when he stopped to EFT on Rdgely be
came down as it were with squash"
which knocked the breath our O: HiGgely
and made him totally insensible.
But McGann was not aware Of the fact,
80 he took paner from his pocket and
began to read. He gradually became SO
much interested that he forgot himself COM
fletely; and he studied up the ConyBlsions in
France. and devoured the editorials on Cen
eral Butler. and guessed the conundrums,
and chuckled over the Indian massacres.
and informed himself about the prices of
marketing and cried over the bad grammar
in the locals, and tried to parse the marine
intelligence, and poisoned his mind with the
certificates of patent medicine cures. He
was thus absorbed for four hours, and then
he happened to think of Ridgely. Ridgely
was beginning to look blue about the mouth,
and he was only brought to by soaking him
iar day or two in brandy and hartshorn.
And now he is not only conscientiously op-
posed to compression Of the stomach as
cholera preventive, but he is praying that
fne cholera will break out in the McGann
family and rattle the entire concern into
the silent grave.