The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-01-23
KARIRTIES.
''Boors blaeked inside" is not
good inscription for sign
WHEN is the weather most like a

gan association of women Their by
laws are written in three colors of ink.
THE latest definition of a gentleman
is g a man who can put on clean collar
without being conspicuous.
One style of bonnet is called the
g NIansard," :" because it takes a great
deal of "a mans hard" earnings to pay
for one of EN-
81 VAST TO know" said a creditor,
hercely, "when YOU are going TO pay
me what you owe meP p when I'm
going to pay? "Why, you're a pretty
fellow Do you take me for a prophet
ONE day when Mrs. Partington heard
the minister say there would be a nave
in the new church, she observed that
she "a knew who the party was.
A sAcRuAs1ous thief stole all the
chairs at Methodist church in Charles
ton, S. O., and the exploit has become
the q standing joke of. the congrega-
tion.
AN old lady was admiring the beauti-
ful picture called ssSaved." "It's no
wonder, said she, " that the poor child
tainted after pulling that great dog ont
of the water"
AN English traveller says: Put an
American baby six months old on his
feet, and it will Immediately say. 4" Mr..
Chairman" +" and call the next cradle to
order.
A MAN advertises for a competent per-
son to undertake the sale of a new med
icine. and adds that "a il viii prove high
ly lucrative to the undertaken r.
There's one thing, - said a gentleman
at a race, "that nobody can beat, and
that is time" Fudge r. exclaimed a
bystander, "every drummer in the land
beats time p
ADoCroR, like everybody else at this
season, went out for days seort. and
complained of having killed nothing.
- That's the consequence of having neg
lected your business, observed his
wife.
ELEGANT people viii in the future de-
sist from describing suddenly cold
weather as a "a cold snap" or a cold
spell" The proper English for the oc-
casion is that we are experiencing a 'po-
lar wave"
A MEDDLEsoSm man, who was watch
ing his wife bake pies, stepped with his
bare foot on a warm stove lid, and then
stepped up in the air few PAGES, and
has gone west.
A SALOON keeper having started kusi-
ness in a building where trunks had
been made, asked friend what he had
better do with the old sign" Trunk
Factory {" Oh, said the friend, "just
change the I to d, and it viii suit You
exactly"
els Pat Flanagan on board this ship2
roared Nelson during lun in the firing
at the battle of the Nile. I'm here,
my lord, y said Erin's son. showing him
self on deck 'Then, said the gallant
Nelson, looking satisfied, let the bat
tie proceed" That story is Pats.
Mrs. c.: "I really must give cook
warning, Charles. She does use such
very bad words" Mr.. g.: Really,
dear What sort of words are theyP''
Mrs. c.: "Oh, well the same as you
use.
THE balloon style of dress seems TO
have gone out of fashion. Grin
oline, tournure, panier, each have all
been discarded, and all cur bellies,
to use homely expression, look as If
they bad been drawn through a knot
hole.
LOST WEALTH may be restored by in
dustry, the wreck of health regained
by temperance, forgotten knowledge
restored by study, alienated friendship
smoothed into forgetfulness, even for
feited reputation recovered by PeRi-
tence but who has ever again looked
upon his vanished hours. recalled his
sligkted years, stamped them with wis
dom, or offaeed from heavens record
the fearful blot of wasted timer
MANY stories are told in Norfolk coun-
ty of Tom Smith, ir,, very ignorant
man, who made his money distiliing gin
and used to be called in consequence
Tom Smith Juniper. Thinking to bet
ter his standing in society he joined the
church and took active part in the pray
er-meetings, always going in full dress,
with light kids on his brawny hands,
and one occasion praying with many
gestures to the "great and diabolical
jehovah" Once in speaking Of pray
er-meeting held in e drinking-s
he said, "Can any good come out of
Lazarus Come and sec" At another
time he said, {" Yen all remember David
who was cast into n den of roaring lions
and came out unscratebed." "
THEY tell of young iady in West
chester County, named Louise, who
thought moHrnfully of the leap-yeax fast
going out and Of certain hopes she had
cherished that would go out with it.
Finally. growing desperate, she went 10
one Bennie Hops, and, holding . re-
volver to his ears, made an elaborate
proposal, BeHnie consented with really
unnecessary speed and energy but
when the girl was gone, went away from
that locality and has not since been
seen by Bouise or any Of ms friends.
The girl, however. may have the eonso-
lation Of suing him for a breach Of
promise and recovering, Of course, dam
ages commemorate with his little prop
erty.
People who are unable 70 go %
sleep II night will be glad to know that
an instrument. constructed by an IN
~,,,,,;e,,e r..~r,an which when rfaeff
under a mattress. is calculated. by
soothing strains, 10 persuade the most
troubled conseience into sweet Oblivion
and geatle slumber. Il slso viii. at a
set time. awaken the happy sleeper by
a lively selection from one Of Offen-
bach's operas This little instrument
5 provided ~ith a tune appropriate fJr
any occasion, even that Of death or
funeral service. a dead march being
among the selections.