The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-05-02
sCrssORrNGs.

FRIDA I...-.. a........ ......-.. MA =, 1910.
sCIssORINGs.
Russia has car shop that employs
4000 men.
Man is a mister, but woman is a
mystery.
If Bedouin should lose his teeth,
would he talk gum Arabic?
True friendship is a gem that is
often sought for, but rarely found
Debt grows larger the mora you
contract j.. Moral.--Don't contract
it.
OF ell the birds that please us with
the;c lays, the most popular is the
nea.
Secure practical education early
in life, and success will be almost
certain.
A man who opens oysters for o
living has usually to deal with a
great many hard cases.
American bellies ought to make
good housewives, because they put
up with little or no waist.
Bill-posters, although making a
business sticking other persons bills,
are often ''stuck" on their own.
Gen. L. Burton, a "colored brud-
der," is to pull hemp at Georgetown,
d. c. on June, 20, for ravishing o
little white girl.
A father was winding his watch
when he said playfully to his little
girl: LET me wind your nose up. "
NO." said the child, II don't want
it to run all day."
An Ohio man sleeps with pistol
under his head. He awoke the 9TH
er night from a dream of burglars
and found the pistol in his hand and
bullet in his leg.
Il say, don't you know what that
is?" NO" "What a fool you are,
it's celebrated Jones" "What' s
he celebrated about them" ''Well,
I'm blast if I know. -
Dydd Sadwrn bywedda oedd dydd
SAINT Dalydd. Calf Ell enwogi gan
preswye Cymraeg. Philadelphia. May
cylee baner wlad wriaethot Nv weldd
mewn lleawr lefy did.
81 am rejoiced, my dear wife, to
see you in such good health" said
Sparks to his wife. ''Health?" was
the quick retort, "why / have had
the plague ever since l was married. !"
Eight retired butchers lead society
in Philadelphia, being the wealthiest
individuals there, and save consum-
ing passion for tripe, they are not &C.
centric, but genial and pleasant gen.
tlemen to visit.
At a spirit meeting the other night
gentleman requested the medium
to ask what amusements were most
popular in the spirit world. The
reply was: Reading of obituary
notices"
Mrs. Brown of Burlington, sings
her "Hush, my Babe" to her infant
son William, who measures twelve
months, one way and one hundred
pounds the other. She spanks him
with pile driver.
Spriggins has not given his wife
cent for the last month, for fear of be-
ing summoned before Congression-
al committee on charge of trying to
influence her action by the improper
use OF money.
Two young ladies slipping wine with
Dir. Thaddeus o Grady, put the ques-
ton to him, (which of as do you
think the older, MIR. O'Grady?"
"Sure, . replied the gallant Irishman,
''you are both younger than the
other
An Arkansas farmer was absent.
minded enough to leave his pet PAN
ther and his mother-in-law at home
while he went to show, but much
to his anger and amazement the old
lady was alive and the panther was
dead on his return.
The ex-Queen Isabella, of Spain,
met her husband for the first time
in several years at the funeral of the
Duke de San Ricardo, in Paris, and
showed him his little baby which was
recently born It is evident that love
annihilates distance.
"My brudders," said a waggish
colored man to crowd, Sin all af-
Fiction, in all oh your troubles, dar is
one place you can always find sympa-
thy" "Whar? WHARF shouted sew
eral. SIN de dictionary" he replied,
rolling his eyes skyward.
An undertaken In one of the river
towns in Western Massachusetts, re-
Gently stopped funeral and threat
ened to attach the corpse if the
coffin, which had been surreptitiously
taken from his shop. was not imme-
diately paid for. The money was
forthcoming.
A bricklayer in New York died re-
Gently and left a fortune variously
estimated at from forty-six dollars to
fifty to his wife. Two brothers of
the deceased who were left out in
the cold now propose to contest the
will, and have instituted proceedings
Ia New York court to that end.
CURIOsITIEs OF JOURNALISM.