The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-10-23
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

| = Mrs. Smith says her husband is like tai
low candle, because he always will smoke when
he is going out. -,
- To lover there are but two places in the
world-one where his sweetheart is, and the
other where she isn't.
A New York lady has invented corset
which will squeeze woman to death in i've
minutes if she feels like suicide.
- President Grant has appointed the 9th
of November as a day of thanksgiving. We
suppose he is thankful for having drawn his
money before the great financial crash.
"A Southern paper says: "People who i'm
agine there is no cotton raised up North are
mistaken. There are thousands Of women who
raise pound or two of cotton every time they
breathe"
- Fifty years ago the following advertise
ment appeared in Cincinnati paper: pass
engers wanted-a wagon will start for New
York city in about two weeks. Five passengers
will be accommodated at S25 EACH"
- The editor of the Huntsville (Missourl)
BeraM pops the question in his paper in this
public fashion: "rhere's certain girl in this
town who can carry our smoke-house keys Tor
life if she'll only say the word.
: To the philosopher there is somethln 6 pc
culiarly instructive to stand upon the street.
corner in large city and watch the men all
rushing around trying to make money, and
the women all floating around trying to spend
it.
- Some men in Maryland offer to wager
100000 that they have the best fox hounds IN
the world. A man in North Carolina has
taken the bet, and is perfectly rabid in his de-
sire to test which is the bigger fool and the
better dog.
- An Arkansas editor claims that his town
is the home of lady who is now 79 years old,
and who has hidden her face in her pocket
handkerchief at the graves of ten husbands.
This strikingly illustrates the tendency OF
widows to remarry.
Not long since young Kentuckian paid
his undivided attention to one of the fair sex,
and concluded to pop the question. After
much stammering and hesitation the young
lady exclaimed, II am partially engaged, but
my mother wants to marry |"
- A recent number of ladys magazine in
its "Housekeepers' Department" informs its
readers that "Virginia housewives make the
best Of pickles" This is horrible suggestion.
We can never consent to any scheme which
proposes to make the women of Virginia an
article of food. 1t will be sad day for this
country when cannihalism becomes one OF the
common practices of the people.
Ex-Governor Palmer, of Illinois, has writ.
ten letter on personal liberty and personal
morals, in which he says he has no faith in the
ministry of the police office as an agency for
the promotion of morals, and pertinently adds:
"Under our system of municipal government
the authority of the local magistracy and Of
the police is practically absolute, and the help
less and the feeble are often outraged and
thousands are made criminals by being first
treated as criminals"
"A negro once said in prayer-meeting:
"Bredren, when was boy took a hatchet
and went into the woods. When found a
tree dat was straight, and big, and solid, didn't
touch dat tree; but when found one leaning
a little, and hollar inside, soon had him
down. So when de debbil goes after Christians,
he don't touch dem dat stand straight and true,
but dem dat lean little and holler inside"
- About the coolest thing we heard of lately
was told us the other day by one of our
esteemed citizens. He had loaned his buggy
to two young gentlemen, by whom it was
broken. The next day they congratulated the
lender on the ground that had the vehicle
broken with him. he would have been seriously
injured; while they, being young, escaped.
The old gentleman says that is all very we'll,
but he is anxious to know who pays for the
b,,o