Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1873-03-01
HUmORs OF a sMAsH-UP.

y recent publication opens with
the following humorous description
of railroad "smash-up;"
We were moving along at Ordi-
nary express rate from Portland TO
Boston, via certain line which has
since acquired a rather sanguinary
reputation. The car was not little
crowded L distinctly remember
having tle seat next the stove at the
extreme forward end. Fortunately
there was no tire-this being in
June--ctherwis this narrative
might Rsgcr have been written, or,
at least come down a good deal
singed. Well, every traveller of any
eonsideIable experience (and that
we all claim to be- knows how il
comes. A truck had broken il was
said. The narrator's head made a
very respectable dent in the zinc
sheathiDg past the stove. At the
same time his heels were nearly cut
OFF by the back Of the seat whirling
over and striking down on the
backs ef his ankles. All the pas
sengers seemed to have business at
the forward end of the car just then.
[ was not alone; on the contrary,
one fellow seemed to have taken it
into his head to ride me much as
Capt. KatertOu is said to have rid
den the eayman-
He calne over the back of the seat,
and had bestrided me in a twink
ling, sitting down with no great
gentleEess on the "small' of my
back. 1 could also, by a sidelong
glance, discern another youngster
in between the stoye-pipe and the
side ofthe cara position he seem
ed to dislike exceedingly, judging
from ne thrashing about he made,
his bsot-heel occasionally coming
down beside my cheek. Though 3
little giddy from my attempt at
dentiIg the zinc, l still felt pretty
tolera3iy certain that had not been
killed; but judged it best to keep
quiet, especially as l could not do
muchelse. There was a great up
roar AID shouting overhead. Some
blOcklead was battering at the car
door IN the outside with an axe
Ever stroke sent the glass from the
broken window rattling about our
ears. Presently the young Rarey
who had mounted me squirmed a
little, and then gave me a punch
with ais knuckles.
"Ssyi you dead ?" he demanded.
'I-belieYe-not."
Then l presume you would like
to have me get off,
l suppose j replied to the effect
that, if it were convenient for him,
it would be very gratifying to me.
haW l..
done. Wash, ;" addressing somebody,
''for heavens sake do quit kicking
me il the ribs"
Gam ], though ?" cried the chap
behiad the stove pipe ''Beg your
forgiveness; but what's a fellow to
do? Here Pm wedged in."
Cant you use the other foot !'
suggested my rider.
mo, mol don't use thatI" l ex-
claimed. ;'Your bOot-beePs right
in my ear, now"
just then the man with the axe
knocked in the door, which flew
back, nashing up a whole caucus of
hats, snd spatting one old man fiat
in theface. The conductor crowded
in sidetoremost, and seeing HWash"
first of anybody, l suppose, pulled
him out from behind the stowe
''Rarey' craWled up off my back,
and we all three got out at the door.
The car had left the rails, turned
half rtund, and headed down the
bank. Nobody was killed outright.
One nan had a broken leg, and
swore he would have handsome
damages for the same.
There were several limpers.
Ons lady had the whole skirt of
her dress torn OF, and was carrying
this ia one hand, and a big, dump
ling-solored chignon in the other.
Thers were also several others car
ryins poodle dogs and damaged
chlglons of various colOrs.
EDrybOdy, save the broken
legged man, pleasantly concurred
in tie opinion that it was "quite a
| littIs bump r'-One of those small
jolts to which life is unavoidably
heiE and which are to be borne as
gool-humOredly as possible.