The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1873-02-28

The truth Is, we have too many sub
divisions Of attire about us to msnsg
them properly. II We had but one-hal
the .houncess and furbelows, and uppe
and under and middle skirts, and spron
and ssshes and "coat-tsils" and festoons
we should just have half the difficulty il
combining and arranging effects. 1t i
easier to drive two horses than siI, a.
poor Phaton could have told " when h,
upset the chariot Of the sun. He wa,
an ignorant driver, and 70 is q woman in
the matter Of dress. We ought never tc
admit an addition to our already unman.
agable team without sufficient reason.
We might dispense with half our com.
plicated folds, our whalebones, our i'm.
movable arms, our scrunched toes, and
many other miseries, and look less like
mere blocks for showing off clothes, and
more like human beings; but we eau
bear to let the housemaid or the crossing
sweeper think We have got sirpense in
our pockets when it can be hung or
piled on our backs, and we go about like
the celebrated camel who finally collaps-
ed under straw.
Nevertheless, when I hint at simplici-
ty Of attire, i am not looking back long
ingly to the latter end of the last centu-
ry, and wishing to see men and women
make themselves the guys-I had al
most said the revolving guys that the
victims Of Jacques Louis David's classic
mania did when they tried to be imita-
tion Greeks. When pink are made to
emulate bare legs, and gowns are worn
as loosely over the tights as ouf very first
parents could have desired, the result can
only be indecent, not picturesque or bea-
tiful, for no generations of care have
made the British body perfect like the
Greeks; and when men take to wearing
their hair plated and combed after Ap-
polio, and india-rubbcr continuations
about as much ike the Greeks as mus
lin flowers are Ike real ones), the result
can only be funny, and nothing else
whilst the most decorous vo,aries, who
make compromise between goddess and
mortal, such as thedress our grandmoth-
er wore, can at best look only like resus-
citated victims Of the auto dd Je-luckless
women who, having been tied up in sack.
and flung into the river, have saved
themselves by kicking out the sack bot
tom Gan appearance rather favored by
the "classic" eherslTre, which was emf
nently damp-looking), and are on their
way home to be dried.
Let us have no burlesque parodies of
classic simplicity, but let us curb our in
satiable passion for sticking everything
we can procure, feathers and flounces,
beads, birds s'-nest, tabs, tinsel, and tail,
all over US, everywhere, like wild In
dians or the Terebella. Alas how like
we are to Terebellal Perhaps you ask
what is the Terebella?
The Terebella is a little creature that
lives in the sea, to whose tender body ma
ture has allotted no protective covering,
and which cleverly sets Itself to supply |
The want with taste about as fsstidious
rs that shown by our own fair country
women. 1t collects materials for its lit
lie coat with the same rspacity, and of,
zen with as little judgement, for some of
Is most ambitious ornaments being more
'ostly than it can afford, have naturally
ed to its own destruction. Nothing
'omes amiss to it. Sand, shells, pieces
II straw, sticks or stones, atom. Of sea-
weed, every kind Of debris within its
zach, good, Dad or indifferent, it will
'llect and stick upsR itself, agglutina-
d together by secretion that among
'arine animals takes the Pldage OF ineen,,s,,r
I'd thread. 1t has even been known TO !.
Id heavy chignon pebble to its load, 1
ore inconvenient than seviceable, after /,
ute human fashion. When its labo- !.
Gus coat is finished, it thrusts out its !,
iumphant head and rejoices. This lit !
Q creature is one of the annelids, and :.
e pretty name Of Terebella, though be- :
nging to the sea, would not always be :
It Of place on shore st. PduPs lfoq1- :.
ne.