The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-03-06

A LITTLE boy asked his mother if
bats were mice angels"

A LITTLE boy asked his mother if
bats were "mice angels"
A NUMBER of piously minded Jer-
seymen recently got up "turkey
shoot" followed by rattle, for the
benefit of their clergyman.
THE married ladies Of a western
city have formed a "Eome- home
husband Club. 1t is about four feet
long and has brush at the end of it.
AN Arkansas county fair has been
distinguished by so many shOot1ngs
and stabbings as to verify the proverb
that "none but the brave &c. e
A CHICAGO paper SAYS it is wonder
full how quick the blind beggars can
tell the difference between two cents
and quarter. -
The Providence Herald is thus sar-
castle on the member from Massachu-
sets: q General Butler is reported as
saving that this is bad year for the
righteous Never mind, Ben.. you
are SAFE
An organization of capitalists is re-
ported to be forming in North Caro-
lima to carry pine products to the
highest pitch. A kind of target COM
pany with fir aims. m sn15a
A GERMAN in Buffalo fell into a
beer vat the other day and was drown
ed. He drank as hard as he could TO
save himself and would have succeed
ed had not a floating cork choked him.
A CONTRIBUTOR to one of the maga-
zines estimates that, g if our. esteemed
ancestor, the late Colonel Adam, had
lived till now, and had never trimmed
his finger nails, they would have been
a thousand yards long. o. n
THE Postmaster of Jack sonville ILL.,,
advertises letter addressed to q. S.
Grant. He SAYS there are SO many
US. grants all along the linessof the
Western railways that he doesn't
know which way to send it.
WHAT'S dis Credit More Biler at
de newspapers maxim such fuss
about 2" inquired one darkie of an
other. in the market this morning.
g Dunno" replied the other, but ]
s'pose the COMMENT buildjn' steam
ships, and wants creditor more bilers
dan dey can get"
A DEFEATED litigant in Wyoming
demands that the verdict against him
be-ea aside. on the ground that one OF
the jurors had her baby with her in
contraven ion of the law. which or
dains that no thirteenth person shall
be present during the deliberations of
the Jury.
AN old Scotch lady had an evening
-, y,
ent who was about to leave for an ap-
pointment in China. AS he was ex-
ceedingly extravagant in his conver-
sation about himself, the old lady said
to him, when he was leaving, "Tak'
good care o. yourself while ye are AVA,
for, mind ye, they eat puppies in Chi
ma"
An extraordinary hen in Lewiston
Me-, cackled with admirable regulari-
ty, but then she laid never an egg.
An exasperating jrregulayety like this
demanded scientific attention.. The
hen was sacrificed, and the post NOR
tenn developedHhe presence oftwenty-
two good eggs inside the incompre-
he nsible fowl.
\
with the following mishaps: He step
ped on board a train which, as he had
every reason to believe, wonld take
him to JoHesville swiftly enough 10
enable him punctually to keep. an APP
pointment he had made to marry q
young woman. The train was delay
ed, the lady got huffy, and since the
expected bridegroom did not appear,
instantly married another man who
suddenly remembered he had loved
her fondly. The ardent first lover
was so anxious TO reach Jonesville
that he acted nervously, was taken in
charge by the detectives as one impli-
Gated in great robbery which had
just been committed in Chicago, and
was liberated at last only to find that
blight and mildew had gathered all
over his holiest affections, aud that
the world was indeed cold and desc
late and unsympathetic.