The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-09-20
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


Iy and permanently given it up He knocked
The ashes of his pipe into n key of blasting
powder.
The American people will be relieved to learl
that the forty.eight hours delay in the publca
ton of the Abba la) independent last week wa
due to the fact that he had placed twenty eigh
cars of green corn in his stomach for his II
O'Clock lunch.
Oneiyoung lady at Saratoga creates sensation
by wearing diamond buckles in her shoes. She
Is awfully careful about holding her dress W
when the walking is wet or dirty.
s smart man at Saadusky put arsenic in u bot
tie Of wine, hoping that burglar would drink it.
and his wife placed it among 100 other bottles
The smart man is now wondering which is the
bottle.
Savannah is proud of a dry goods clerk who
has been horse-whippcd by seved different wo.
men, but he remains in his place as if nothing
had happened.
\ Lewisburg ARK editor claims that lis town
is the home of lady who is now 70 years old, and
who has shed tears at the graves Of ten departed
husbands
per, we meekly approached an cmgrant wagon
and inquired Of its austerc proprietor, Whittier
boundY Me lord removed his quid to the lar
board side Of his mouth and coolly remarked;
"None Of your id business And it wasn't
either
Mr.. Daniel Drew, the railroad millionaire, who
served as private soldier under Winfield Scott,
has recently had his name added to the roll Of
pensioners Of the war Of 1872, where those of
Thurlow Weed and John 4. Dix already had
place. Drew has recently met with some losses
in Erie spcculations and doubtless needs that
G.re pension.
In new poem by the author Of Saint Abe and
lis Seven Wives" lately published in London,
occurs the following pretty little picture
"Dimpled dainty, Onc-and twenty
ROscy faced and round Of limb,
Warm with mOthcr-wit in plenty,
Prudent modest, spry yet prim;
Lily-handed, tiny footed,
With an anclc clean and neat,
Neatly glOyed and trinity booted,
Looking nice and smelling sweet
NeipO-Scsscd subdung beauty
To a sober sense Of duty,
thastc rs Dian, plump as llebc,
such, guess, was little Phoebe
Prof Dana strongly asserts that ait now seems
demonstrated 10y astronomical and physical ar |
Suncnt that the interior Of the earth i, essen.
TALLY solid
Which does away with one objection to the |
practcability Of tunnel straight through TO
China,
One woman has set out 1890 forest trees in
Greedy, Colorado. Does not this woman deserve
70 vote a. TO Shat taxes she shall pay upon her
farm"
The ChacinaGti Commercial mentions that there
> 10 be baby show at the county fairon the 23d
inst, and aad>: The attention OF married ladies
IL directed 10 the fact Halstcad is ~ tardy as
usual. OF course nothing can be done in that
timc.-Timcs.
\ gentleman who has tried it says the best way
10 catch "A rat, which has found its way into your
room Is Ia lay boot Hat upon the hoor close to
Inc mold board The rat will run into the boot
irg for protection when he is easily captured
\ Farbury girl tried that with her shoe The
rat entered, got lost, and il took half an hours
exploration TO find it.-lmt%wcHt.
Since printing the above we notice the editor
e the Hae,o.d,mt has bald spot on hi. head and
carries his left ear in a sling.
The following IL perhaps the very latest on the
subject:
Young man, spare that hustle
Touch not single "rapc.'
The woman's had tnsslc
To get herself in shape"
Those Congressman who took back pay seem
to bee fond Of back things. Some of them are
now taking back seats.
\ IoneSomclooking old man called at the
Washington Savings Bank in Savannah the other
day and deposited his money because he knew
y tnat George would never let his bank bust"
The Chicago Hd0 endorses the peculiar fitness
q Judge Brccse 10 discourse on the discovery of
Starred Rock hy Pcre Marquette, from the con
slasration that be is probably the only white man
living who was in the state ut that time.
The to"ri0-Jmpuarv last big foot poke al Chi
CagO is e. follows.
one Of the leading paragraphi,ts Of the Chi
CagO Ii,,S has been urged 10 accent n Irrr,,iy,
position in front Of n Milwaukee leather store
When he stands ON his head and lets out ms Zee,
be makes a very superior awning II
When you get it into your head that YOU are
me only man who is Of any account, II i urob
ably due TO the fact that you are bilious
\ stout dose Of rhubarb and quinine viii
assist nightly to undcc,i'e fellow In such
. case.
The Dixon Parsons make choice Of odd subjects
Says tie H-rald.
Tier viii Be -sryice. in .hc CnNcrsalist Churh /
next sunday. Subject OF morning discourse
Beeeher on Standing Room in Heaven" Eve
LIhS subject " hanging as means Of salvation"
Croquet as means Of grace las thus ;ar been
overlooked
There Is $l,2" set Of furniture in Columbus
ga Inc owner sleeps on the door in sheer awe.
sawdu-t az a substitute for stockings b recon- /