Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1873-03-26
MAKING A FORTUNE.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Samuel MeFadden was q. watch
man in a hank. He. was poor, but
honest, and his life was without re
proach. The trouble with him vas
thst he felt ne was not apprtcited.-
His salary was only four dollars
a week, aud when he asked 10 have il
raised. the president, cashier and
buard of directors giared at him thru
their speciacles, and frOwned on him,
aud told him to 90 out and stop hls
insolence, when he knew business
was dull and the bank could not meet
expenses now, let alone lavishlng one
uoiIar Oh such a miserable creature as
Samuel McFadden. And then sam
uel McFadden felt depressed and sad &,
aud the naughty scoru of the presi-
dent and cashier cut him to the soul.
, He would often go into the side yard
and bow his venerable twenty-fOur
inch head, and weep gallons and gal
Ions of tears over his insignificance,
and pray that he might be worthy of
the president and cashiers polite at
tention.
One night happy thought struck
him; a gieam Of light burst upon
him, and gazing down the dim vita
of years with his eyes all blinded with
ioyous tears, he saw himself rich and
respected, So Samuel McFadden
fooled around and got a jimmy, a
moukey-wTench, a crOsscut saw, a
cold chisel, drill and about q ton of
gunpOwder and nitro glyeerine, and
those things. Then, in the dead of
night, he went to the fire-proOf safe,
and after wOI king at it for awhile,
burst the door and brick into an i'm
mortal smash, with such perfect sue
cess that there was not enough of that
safe left to make carpet tack. Mr.
McFadden then proceeded to load up
with COUPONS, greenbacks, currency,
and s.eeie, and to nail all the old
change that was lying anywhere, so
that lie prahced out of the bank with
over million dollars on him. He
then retired to an unassumiug resi-
dence .,ut of town, and then sent word
TO the detectives where he was.
A detective called on him next day,
with soothing note from the cashier.
McFadden trea ed it with lofty scOrn.
Detectives called on him every day
with humble notes from the presi
dent, cashier, and the board of direc-
rs. At last the bank officers got up
a magnificent private supper, to which
McFadden was invited. He came,
and a the bank off ,ers bow d d 'wn
in the dust before him, he pUndered
well over the bitter past, ard his soul
was filled with exultation.
Before he drove away in his car
riage that night, it was all fixed that
Mr. MeFadden was to keep half q
million OF that money and to be un-
molested if he returned the other half
He fulfilled his contract like an hon
est man, but refused with hauty dis
dSin the offer of the cashier to marry
bis daughter.
McFadden is now honored and re-
spected. He moves in the best so
eiety, he browses around in purple
aud fine linen and other good clothes,
and enjoys himself first rate. And
often now he takes his infant sou on
his knee and tells him of his early
life, and instills holy principles into
the child's mind and shows him how,
by industry and perseverance,, and
| frugality, and nitrO-glyceiine, and
monkey wrenches, and cross-cut saws,
and familiarity with the detective
system. even the Door may rise TO
| aff1uenee and responsibility.