The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-06-14
Humorous.

L
The first nautical person alluded to
in the Scriptures is said to be Eve, be-
cause she was the first mate.
An Iowa clergyman who had dona-
lion party lately, has beans enough to
tast him thirty-seven years.
IT is thought that Victor Hugo's
forthcoming poem, "Satan," will be a
devilish good thing.
LITTLE woman (hugging her new
dOll.) Isn't she darling I'd give
her to you, only-she's my own!'
SETH, the Westfeld murderer on be-
ing told that the day for his execution
had been fixed, exclaimed, 81 never
heard better news in my life"
A LITTLE boy having broken his
rocking horse the day it was bought,
his mother began to rebuke him. He
sllenced her by inquiring, "What is
the good of boss till it's broke 2"
A LITTLE girl in Norwich, Conn, re-
turned pocket-book with considerable
money, which she had found, and was
rewarded with a two cent stamp i'm
perfectly gummed.
81 WISH [ was French girl" said a
ten-year old. "Why, my girl ~ asked
her mamma. because [ should know
two languages. Chow so 2" "Why,
you know l can speak English now,
and French would make two "
A LADY lately ordered of London
firm a silver cross, with five long,
sharp points on the inner side, for pur.
poses Of modification, but when it was
finished she did not like It's looks, and
it now forms part of a shop stock, and
IS a modification to the maker.
The viii of resident of Middlesex,
Del, recently deceased, contains the
following clause: "And | bequeath
to my beloved son John the sum of
one dollar, with which to buy rope
long and strong enough to hang that
Irish wife of his"
A NASHVILLE child, who has a way of
saying all kinds of startling things, and
always under circumstances peculiarly
embarrassing, volunteered the informa
ton, recently, that his little nephew
was about to be christened, adding
[ was christencd urce, but law! it
didn't do no good; it didn't stick"
AFTER the coffin had been placed in
the hearse a Troy undertaken climbed
in to put pail over it. The driver,
not noticing the undertaker's position,
closed the door AS 1T could not be
opened from the inside, the unfortu-
nate dealer IN collins was obliged to re-
main on the coffin until the arrival at
the burial ground.
A NEVADA man writes to a Boston
paper that they have eight males to
one female III that State, and that if
the "supertluous women, the anxious
and aimless ones, Of Massachusetts are
possessed of the requisite qualities for
good housekeepers, and will 90 out
there, they will never be allowed to re-
turn unmarried.
Nor long since at Sunday School
not a thousand miles from here, the
teacher, after trying hard to impress
on the minds of a class of small bows
the sin of Sabbath breaking, asked
is Sunday any better than other
day - when the smallest boy IN the
class promptly answered: "You bet
your boots it is" The answer seemed
satisfactory.
A FRENCH gentleman, learning Eng
lIsh to some purpose, replied thus to
the salutations: 3" How DO you do,
monsieur" Do vat?n g How do
you find yourself?" Il never loses
myself How do you feel ~
" Smooth: you just feel me-" Good
morning, monsieur !" Good No.
it's bad one; it's vet and nasty"
TWENTY years ago the son of a
widowed mother was IN uneducated
and half-cared-for youth, He went
INTO store as an GRAND boy, saved up
his money, worked hard every day,
limited himself to but few amusements.
principally fishing and seven-up, which
he INDUCED in on Sunday, so not to
iniure his employer, and is now worth
$3.50, 900. His mother enjoys luxu-
rious home, with every want attended to,
and the young man is III Europe wait
ing for the affair to blow over.-Dan-
bury Ne1CS.
a LITTLE school girl in Danbury has
lately had her dinner stolen. No clue
could be obtained of the thief, al
though it was sought with tears.
Finally a mild plan was hit upon. A
tempting doughnut with a filing of
Cay enne pepper was placed IN her pail,
and the result watched. Before noon
a little boy was seen at the pump.
working IL IN a lively manner. It
seemed as if he had had two hundred
pairs of arms, he could have used
them. The fire was put out, however,
AID enough of the structure saved to
take across the knee fora few minutes
THE two legal gentlemen who laid q
wager upon the ability of one of them
to repeat the Lords Prayer, the per-
son protferlng the bet acknowledged
that he had lost when the other recited
''Now / lay me down to Sleep" ETC.,
have counterparts in Detroit. A few
days since, in one of the higher cri-
mlnal courts, witness was asked a
question relative to the paternity of
certain child. One of the council on
the other side objected, and while stat
ing the nature of, and reason for, his
objection, became somewhat excited,
and at the close of his remarks uttered
the words: ''It's wise father that
knows his own child"
"That's not the correct quotation,
Mr.. c., said the other lawyer " You
should have sail: Its a wise child
that knows its own father
" l stand corrected" said G., 81 did
not know that my brother was so well
versed in Scripture
'Ah, but [ ami" said the other
with an exultant sheer.
Gentlemen, will you please tell me
in what rart of Aba SorI,,41ro tbo,