Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1873-10-08
NO. 239.
Mistellameoas.
KEEPING A COW.

The man across the was who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his own garden
through the summer has bought COW.
His wife told him how nice it would be to
have Il COW ON the premises, SO to have
milk fresh and pure every day, and always
in time, and always in abundance. Then
they could make butter themselves, and
not eat the rank stuff out of the store
She told him there was enough stuff from
the garden and table to almost keep the
COW. and the product would be just about
SO much clear gain. He figured it up
himself with pencil. and the result sur
prlsed him. He wondered why he had
not kept COW before, and inwardly con-
demmed himself for the loss he had been
inflicting upon himself. Then he bought
cow. In the evening of its arrival he
went out to milk it. But the animal was
excited by the strange surroundings, and
stepped on our friend, and kicked over
his pail. ard nearly knocked one of his
eyes out with her tail He worked at the
experiment for an hour, but without any
success. Then his wife came out to give
ADVICE, and his son came out to see the
iun The COW put one her heels through
the woman's dress, and knocked the boy
down In the mud, which ended their in
terest in the matter. One of the neighbors
MIXED the animal that night, and came
around the next morning and showed the
man how to do it. The third day the COW
escaped the surveillance of the boy who
was left to watch her, and when the man
came home at night, she was nowhere to
be found. The boy had also disappeared,
and our neighbor found he was obliged to
hunt her up before supper He walked
around for n while, and then returned
home, but the animal had not been seen.
Then he went off again and made very
thorough search, and about ten O'Clock
that night he came back with the COW, his
clothes begrimmed with perspiration and
dust, and his face flushed and scratched.
He wanted to kick the animals ribs in,
but realizing that such course would re-
suit in pecuniary damage, he changed his
mind. The boy wishes he had obeyed the
first impulse. On the fourth day they
churncd, so as to have fresh butter for the
table. The mother took hold of the DASH
er first because she said she used to do it
when girl, and liked no better sport.
She pounded away until she caught
crick In the back that doubled her up like
a knife, and then she put her heir to it.
lie had been standing around, eagerly
waiting for chance, and grumbling be-
cause he didn't get it, and when the dash
er was placed in his hand he was so happv
he could hardly contain himself. He
pumped away an hour at it, then he said
If he had to do it any more he would run
away and be a robber.
| AT noon the man came hone and learned
the situation. He was little disguised
at the "tomfoolery," as he called it and
took hold the churn himself and made it
bounce for awhile. Then his stomach
commenced to fall in, and his spine to un-
joint, and his shoulders to loosen. He
stopped and wiped off the perspiration,
and looked around with melancholy
cast to his features, and went at it again.
The butter didn't come, however, but
everything in the way Of oratorical effect
did. He got so dreadfully excited that
his wife, smelling strong of camphor, took
the dasher away from him, and went to
work herself. At this the son put his cap
under his jacket. and miraculously dis
appeared. Later in the day the milk was
poured around the grape vine. On the
fifth day the COW knocked down length
of fence to the next lot, and ate all the
oranges from tree that stood in tub.
and when the people attempted to drive
her out, she carried away a new ivy ON
her horns, knocked down valuable vase OF
flowers, and capped the climax by stumb-
ling over box of MOSES and falling on
a pile of Dollhouse frames. On the sixth
day our neghbor sold his COW to butch
er, and now eats strong butter which
comes from the store Ddnbury Ne,cs.