Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-10-23
That Afternoon Tea.-If acct

/
have no "best regulated families" does
lit? The other day man residing on
Pumpkin Hill had little piece recited
to him by the partner of his woes and
Toys, who stood the perfect picture of
beauty with such a nice lace collar on,
and in such tasty morning wrapper,
looking like peach just ready to be
eaten. This is pretty near what she
told him:-"Now, "oirdie, you know
Mrs. Eversonice, Mrs. Perfection,
and Miss Bustle, are all coming here
to dine to-day, and | want some arti-
cles sent right up, early. Send up
some salt, some summer savory, and
some tapioca. Now don't forget, I'm
sure you will" But, "birdie" wouldn t
forget. Q, no! He was rugged out
in flying colors, like bran new schoon-
er, and as he slid out the front door
putting on his glossy gloves the dear
woman said, CHOW, birdie, come, do
put those things down in your pass
book for you wiU forget them, I'm
sure" But "birdie' wasn't one of the
forgetting kind, 0, no !! he wouldn' t
forget. So as he stepped lightly along
as happy as humming bird in bower
of roses. He thought he would just
keep repeating the articles So he
commenced, 'Salt, summer savory, and
some tapioca. Salt, summer savory,
and some tapioca. Salt summer SAVIOR
ry, and some tapioca.' until the jingle
finally became saltsummersavoryand
sometapioca, and worse, and worn.
Just as he got to the brow of the hill
he put his foot on a piece of water
melon cuticle, and in twinkling he
presented the appearance of a pair of
folding clothes horses open for imme-
date use. His shiney hat was over
yonder, and he was right there all in a
heap, and he felt as though he "were
boy again and had just been skating
after his ma had told him not to 90 an
inch or she would tend to HMM
short he felt as though he had just been
tendedIto. Just so soon as he could call
himself together, and had got through
conjugating several prominent verbs,
he began to remember that his wife
wanted him to order something He
commenced anew his lesson, as proud
as a boy with a green ribbon on a
straw hat, ",Sats, some SIENNA, and
some jopanica, Salts, some SIENNA, and
some japonica, salts, some SIENNA, and
some japonica," and kept saying it till
like the other, only unlike it, it was all
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, and
he went into the Grocers, where he
told the "boy" how wagon wheel had
spattered mud all over him, and order
ed the things like little man. Then
he went to his business, and at four
o'clock he went to tea. He didn't 90
right into the house, he saw some
body at the window, and she didn't
look exactly like a boquet of roses
either, and he thought she had the ST.
Vitus' dance, for her little fist kept 90
ing like potato smasher, and he began
to feel like the potato that smasher
was waiting for. Finally the poor man
mustered courage and went in, while
ois legs played reveil!e on his boot
taps; his was a melancholy welcome.
80, you awful cruel, heartless man."
and she laid her little head on his
shoulder, and he began to wish he had
an umbrella for he was sure it was rain
ing There Miss Bustle and Mrs
Eversonice, and Mrs. Perfection have
been visiting, and I thought tea was
all ready, and Bertha did just as [ told
her, and just see what a great, awful,
nasty mess and then he thought he
needed an india rubber overcoat Then
'sbirdie'' knew what allied Hannah,
Cher name wasn't Hannah, however)
and he felt foolish. He looked at the
"nasty mess. Everything was phys
ic but the pudding, Japonica pud
ding What a beautiful varnish for
the coats Of ones stomach Then
there was hurrying to and fro, and
love looked love to eyes, and Mrs.
Simpkins had some jell cake, and Mrs.
Mudgett had some other kind of cake,
and old Mrs Kindheart had still anoth-
er kind, and biscuits here and sundry
viands there, and more good things
over to Mrs. Somebodyelse's house, all
brought together by the magic wand Of
necessity finally gave the table real
a,l +Io,,-I