The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-02-28
NUMBER 8.
IN Il RAILROAD CAR.
BY MARX TWAIN.


I got into the cars and took a seat in
iuXtapositiun to female The females
face was a perfect insurance company TO-
hCT-it insured her against ever getting
married TO anybody except blind man
Her mouth looked like a crack IN = dried
lemon and there was no more expression
than there is in a cup OF cold cuSt1IG.-
She appeared rs II she had been ia oU. u
one famine and got about two-J!iirds thIO'
another. She was old enough 10 be
grand mother to Mary that had a little
lamb She was che wing prize pOpCOTny
and carried in her hand yellow rose,
while a band-box and cotton umbrella
nestled swectly by her side. l couldn't
guess whether she was on mission of
charity, or was going West 20 start saw
mill, was fun Of curiosity 20 hear her
speak, so | said
The eNigcncics OF the tirae reIuiIo
great crcumspecion IN u IersUn who is
travelling"
Says Size, ''What ?''
Says I, The orb of day shines resplcu-
dent in Tie vault above
She hiUchcd around uneasy like, then
she raised her umbrella, and said y don't
want any OF your sass-git out - and got
out.
Then I took a seat alongside a male fcl-
low, who loved - see the ghost Of Hamlet
heightened out. He was stately cuss,
and he was reading.
Said i, Mister, did you ever see q camel
Leopard | said camel-leOpard because
it IS a pi0us animal, and never eats grass
without getting down on its knees.
lie said he hadn't seen a cancI-leopard.
Then, said ], DO you chew ,"
lie said, NO sir"
Then [ said, -'IIuw sweet is nature -
lie took this for conundrum, and said
he didn't know. Then he said he was
deeply interested in the history of a great
man. ALAS - he exclaimed, I'VE are but
few
told him l knew one-''the man that
made my cooking stove was great man. ~
Then hc asked ''Weuld read ?''
Says ], ''WhaJ you got -
lie replied, 'AThatt's Hymns" "Rever-
les by Moonlight and How to Spend The
Sabbath -
I said, ..None Of them for Hannah, but
if lie had an unabridged business directory
of Zcw York city, l would take little
T!,enlhe said, Young man, look at these
gay hairs"
l told him I saw them, and when a man
got as old As no was he ought to dye
Said I, You needn't think those hairs
arc any sign of wisdom; it's only sign that
your system lacks iron, and I advise. you
to 20 home and swallow a crowbar''
He took this for irony, ard what little
eHtaRt c0r3iU' there was between us was
spilled. 1t turned ont that he was chap
lain Of base ball club.
When we got to Rochester, called for
a bowl of bean soup. It ought to be call
ed lead soup. l send you the recipe for
making it: Take a lot of water wash it
well, and broil it until il is brown on both
sides then very carefully pour one bean
into It and let It simmer. When the bean
begins to get restless, Sweeten it with salt,
then put 1t up into alright cans, hitch
each can 10 4 brick, and chuck them over
board and the soup is done"
The above recipe originated with a man
III Iowa, who got up supPers on odd Occa-
siOns for Odd Fellows. He has a recipe
for oyster soup, leaving out the salt
Speaking of Iowa reminds me Of the way
got the money TO pay for my ticket and
pay for that fellows supper. l bet a fel-
low a dollar that l could tell him how
much water 10 4 quart went under the
railroad bridge over the Mississippi at Du-
bu4ue in year. He bet and l said two
IsiHtS TO = quart. l won the bet; but after
all that supper was an awful swiudle. If
that city didn't settle faster than its coffee
did, It's Old settlers club would be 4 failure,
and the city. too.
Dubuque is celebrated for it's turnouts
on the streets. While | was there a wag-
on unset and spilled a lot of women.
,l:sla.'t see tt looked the othCr way
10 cards.