The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1873-01-23
.iRlENE.'.
year can vote

INt l'AlihU NrRhu BIlhi't
WHO carries the monkey round.
FuI It makes ne feel quite tunky
when yon think, if Darwin'str true,
That You might have been The monkey
And the monkey might have been you!
The old song has been changed to suit
the seasons:
Mother may | go uut 10 skate?'
Yes, my dearest daughter;
Rat come back home at half past eight,
And dont 90 into the water"
Az unsatisfactory meal-A domestic
broil.
The worst thing under the canopy"
A mesquite.
Doors BACKED inside i, not IL
good inscription for ii sign.
WnES is the weather most like II
crockcry shop? When it's muggy.
ODD lady: II see You recover nm
brellas.' Shopman; Yes, nm, lots
Of en-" Old lady; IL want the one [
lOSt INST -houthy.
ONE style of bonnet is called the
- Mnnsard," because it takes II great
deal Of II mans hard earnings to pay
for on" Of EN-.
81 WANT to KNOW said u creditor,
ticrc"ly, "when You are going to pay
me what YOU owe Inc % When I'm
going to pay? Why, you're pretty
fellow! Do you take mt for Il prophet
OSE day when Mrs. Darlington heard
the minister say there would be a nave
III the new church, she observed that
abe "knew who the party was"
A sAcRuLIGIoUs thief stole all the
chairs at n Methodist church in Charles
ton, S. G., and the exploit has become
the " standing" joke of the congrega-
ton.
Az old lady was admiring the beauti-
full picture called "Saved." "It's no
WONDER" said she, "that the poor child
fnintod after pulling that great dog out
of the water"
AN English traveller says: Put an
American baby six months old on his
feet, and it will Immediately say, Mr..
Chairman" and call the next cradle to
order
ItlN nlN.,t,a. Sn,, A.. ,,,,,.,t,,t ,,..
son to undertake the sale Of II new med
icine, and adds that at will prove high
~ lucrative to the undertaken :"
"There's n thing" said a gentleman
a. Is race, "that nobody can beat. and
that is time" Fudge - exclaimed a
~bystandcr, 'eycry drummer in the land
beats time ~
\ DoGruH, like everybody else mt this
season, went out for ~ days sport, and
complained of having killed nothing.
THAT the consequence Of having neg
lectcd your business" observed his
wife.
ELEGANT people will in the future de-
sist from describing suddenly cold
weather rs a "cold snap" or II "cold
SPELL The proper English for the oc-
casion il that We are experiencing Il 'po-
lnr wave"
A MEDDLEsoME imam, who WAS watch
ing his wife bake pies, stepped with his
bare foot on IL warm stove lid, and then
stepped up i'll the mir n few PAGES, and
has gone west.
SALOON keeper having started bust
ness in II building where trunks had
been made. asked II friend what he had
better do with tho old sign-"'irunk
Factory" "Oh,' said the friend, Just
change the 4 to d, and it will suit YOU
exactly"
rs Pat Flanagan on board this ship ?
roared Nelson during II lull in the firing
ut the battle of the Nile. I'm here,
my lord" said Erin's son, showing him
self On deck. "Then, said the gallant
Nelson, looking satisfied, "let the bat
tie proceed" That story is Pats.
Mas. G.: az really must give cook
warning, Charles. She does use such
very bad words"
Mn. e.: Really, dear What sort
of words ARE they?"
MHs. e.: "Oh, we'll ! the same as
you use,
Insr WEALTH may be restored by III
dustry, the wreck of health rcgained
by temperance, forgotten knowledge
restored by study, alienated friendship
smoothed into forgetfulness, even for
ieited reputation recovered by peni-
tence but who has eyer again looked
upon his vanished hours. recalled his
slighted years, stamped them with wis
dom, or effaced from heavens record
the fearful blot of wasted time
A MILWAUKEE girl frankly confesses
that her advocacy of the woman s
rights movement is due TO an insane de-
sire TO wear red top boots and II little
spitol pocket.