The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-03-29
Onr Olio.
From the Philadelphia Sunday Dispatch.
MoRTUARY MADRIGALs.
BY MAX ADELER.


j. Alfred Brimmer, Esq, editor and
proprietor Of The Morning Glory, having
observed the disposition of persons who
have been bereayed of their relatives TO
give expression to their feelings in a
poetical form, reflected that it might per-
haps be good thing to introduce to his
paper department of obituary poetry
He considered whether If, when an indi-
vidual inserted fifty cents worth of death
notice, the establishment should contribute
gratuitously half-a-dollar's worth of NOR
tality stanEas, his paper would not at once
become the most popular vehicle for the
conveyance Of that peculiar form of melan-
choly intelligence to the public. And Mr..
Brimmer rightly estimated that, as most
newspaper readers seem to take a deeper
interest in such sepulcharal news than
information Of any other kind, the journal
containing the largest supply would have
the greatest number Of subscribers.
So Mr.. Brimmer determined that he
would, as an experiment ut any rate, en-
gage an obituary poet for a short time,
with the purpose to give him permanent
employment IL the plan seemed to take
with tbs public Accordingly he sent for
Mr.. Remington OFT, constructor of
verses, who had frequently contributed to
the columns Of The M,raia3 Glory poems
Of what would have been considered by a
fastidious student of English literature an
appalling and revolutionary character.
Mr.. Brimmer soon effected an arrange
ment with the bard, BY which it was agreed
that Mr.. OF should take position in the
Office for short time, and whenever a
death notice arrived he should Immediately
endeavor to grind out some verses express
sive Of the situation,
"You understand, Mr.. 0tt,' explained
Brimmer, ''when the death of an indlvidu.
al is announced, want you. as it were, to
cheer the afflicted family with the resources
of your noble art. wish you to throw
yourself, you may say, into their situation
and to give them verse or two about the
corpse which will seem to be the expression
Of the emotion Of the hearts Of the living. y
40 tighten the gloom in a certain sense
l suppose p said Mr.. 0tt
Precisely Tighten the gloom. Do mol
mourn over the departed but rather take
Joyous view of death, which, after all
Mr.. OFT, is, as it were, but the entrance tC
better life. Therefore, would advise
you to touch the heartstrings of the afflict
ed with tender hand, and eudeavor, fol
instance, to divert their minds from con
temptation Of the horrors of the tomb
"Refrain from dependency, suppose
and lit their thoughts to-"
"Just so And at the same time combin,
.eleyating sentiment with such practica
information as you can obtain from the
advertisement Throw glamour ofpoes,
f'r instance, over the commonplace detail
of the everyday life Of the deceased Peo
pie are fond Of minute descriptions. Som,
facts useful for this purpose may be OBJ
tanned from the man who brings the no
tice to the office others you may readil,
supply from your Imagination
IN throw of stanzas," said Mr.. Ott
-''in such manner that people will wan
their frields to die for the sake Of tn
poetry"
"But above all" continued the editor
'''take bright view of the matter always
Make the sunshine of smiles, as it were
burst through the tempest of tears; and
we don't make The Morning Glory, hun
around among the mourners of this town
my name is not Brimmer.
He was right II did hum.
The next day Remington OFT went Of
duty, and Brimmer ran down to the sea
shore for a breath of fresh air. Al
through the day death-notices came pour
ing in, and when one would reach OFT, h
would seize il and study 1t up to ascertain
the particulars. Then he would rush a
stairs, lock himself in his room, take dow
his rhyming dictionary, run his finger
through his hair, and hack away for hal
an hour at piece of paper until he cor
sidered that he had that poetry in shap
which would make the stricken famil
feel proud oft the corpse. When his day
work was done, OFT went home with col
viction that The Morning Glory, had fnall
robbed Death Of its terrors, and made lit
comparatively valueless.
In the morning Mr.. OFT proceeded calm
" to the Office for the purpose of embaln
ing in sympathetic verse the memories Q
other departed ones. As he came near
the establishment he observed crowd I
Eve or six thousand people in front Of
struggling to get iuto the door, Climbin
tree, he overlooked the crowd, and coul
see within the Office the clerks selling pi
pers as fast as they could handle then
while the mob pushed and jammed an
yelled in frantic efforts to obtain copies
the presses in the cellar meanwhile clam
ing away like mad. Upon the curl sion
10 front Of him there was a line Of me
stretching down the street for four square
each man engaged in reading The Moynia
Gioyy with an earnestness that Mr. Ot
had seser before seen displayed BY n
patrons OF that sheet. The bard conclude
either that bis poetry had touched syn
pathetic chord 10 the popular heart
that an appalling disaster had occurred
some quarter of the globe.
He went around TO the back OF the ON.
and ascepded TO the editorial rooms. 4
he approached the sanctnm loud scie'
were heard within. Mr.. OF determine
TO ascertain the cause before enterin
He obtained chair, and, placing it