The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-08-16
FOUR BLACK CROWS.

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Thin, but cool
Here i, new song:
FOUR BLACK CROWS.
Four Grant crows sat on q tree
And they were black as crows could be;
Carpenter, Conkling, Cameron, Clayton
God pity the tree that those crows sat on!
An Atlanta editor refers fcclingly to a Geor-
gian who Is "on the brink OF starting daily
Ipapcr.n-EL.
This is equivalent to saying, the verge Of bank
ruptcy or the margin of idiocy
Some scamp writes this and We don't believe
it to be true;
The genuine mermaid this year neglected
Long Branch, but put in an appearance at Cape
Cod The natives tried to capture her, but
strangely forgot all about patting salt on her
tail and through the foam. crested waves the
mermaid godc away.
.Tardon is the name Of the Virginia lawyer who
wanted TO look into Kate Stoddard's clear blue
ewes and defend her His wife las been photo
graphing broom upon the rctjna Of his optics
since he made the ayowal-Er
The latest French fashion is for ladies' skirts
to be made SO as to fall in close to the figure,
without iullncss at the hips, Pieces of lead are
frequently scwcd to the bottom Of the skirt so
rs TO obtain the desired ettcct.-Er.
The present style Of long dress dispcnsca with
lcaden weights to keep it down; it gathers mud
enough not only to keep itself dawn, but the
wcarcr too.
Six roughs pcuncd a Natchcz reporter in an
alley and were thinking how they would batter
his head, when four of them fell into an old
sewer and a woman scaldcd the other two. 1t
does seem as if Providence was on the side Of
reporters
It is the fashion now for ladies to buckle their
belts behind, which is not SO becoming as the
way they used to buckle them bcforc.-Er,
We don't care much where they buckle 'cm, If
they will allow lis to be the bucltst
The unhappest man lives at Laportc Indiana,
and the divorce laws promise him no relief. He
keeps house with his NTH wife and three moth
crs-iu- lHw-Er.
What did he do with the other two mothcrs-in.
law, The query is pertinent because we seldom
hear Of a mothcrin.la law dying a natural death.
\ Massachusetts, paper reports an alarming
prevalence of cholera morbus and cholera in
fantum," which attack adults as well
Children
A Paragraph Is going the rounds of the press
to the effect that at Lafayette Ind, the papers
are compang in right down earnest, because
troops Of girls go in swimming in conspicuous
places In the river. The paragraph is probably
merely device Of the Lafayette newspapers to
draw the attention Of clcrgymcn ON vacations.
and other rcst-sCCkcrs 10 the charms Of Lafayette
as a watering placc.-Ey.
From the abOyc it will be inferred that If you
would write to amy of the several Ottawa rev.
ercnds who are away from home just now your
notes should be addressed to Lafayette, Ind
Itls suggested that persons who go about with
their Cashmere ,hnwls turned inside out, TO show
that they are genuine, should adopt the custom
vi walking on their heads, Ia show that their
boots are sulcd.-EI.
And to show that no Days DpiagS or other
naughty paper is carried about in the hustle,
ladies should writ. on neat card the names OF
the bundle carried behind, and pin the card over
the hump
An enthusiastic African, who had "spcn, dc
winter IN Jamaiy,' found it an earthly paradise
He said he could lie abcd, and, putting his
arms out de windy pick oranges, pineapple,
and Janahy rum right oil de trees "-Er
II rum grew ON trees in Jamaica, that Island
would be the topcrs paradise, aud red nose,
would flock in myriads toward, that promised
land.
The latest addition 10 the population of Rock
ford i q lL.t'#, We may reasonably EXPECT the
establishment Of another radical paper in the
Forest city rs the rcsult-Fr,yor Bi'ft.s
You should have some little charity for the
luu,l.,-, ncighhor While an radical editor,
do. t.,s are uuatics, you must remember that
all aultirs are not editors of radical Grant
pap,!-, though Of course many who do not run
such papers are more capable than those Who do.
The PcLm R,yubi'cau docs a subject that has
la, long agonizcd us, in this way:
Everybody knows what fence advertising j.
like, but very few people can appreciate 1t 50
well as did State street boy. who came 60 a
place ON the fence last week. and read, in big
lycl ~ lett re- Go To slabs for your tomb~touc>,
and lu hugh black character, Go To Taylor, for
good clothing and in much scroll work, 60 to
lUutcv, for powder and shot aad then The boy
tool, % piece Of chalk and scraNicd, Go tu he'll
ior your birthstone"
Sometimes editors disagree. and get 10 shoot.
iu- . rihs at one another. Here are specimens:
TIL e.. Ger ~ 'ha Rpoi.,.da.s not carry va'ar
on buiH HpUldcr,. Is the editors of the Gru,gr
are u,l. iug.-Rpori,r.
We Dave never accused the editor of the Ro.
BJr'tt with carrying water on either shoulder.
lie don't usddlc with that article 90 any great
extent ut what little hc does carry j. un the
brain pg'' 90. Gr'ag'.
Ali, ,pol girl, ju-, graduated. .a'J 'l her
ossl,. u~ avoid The iriyoiitic, uf life, and
pursue ,.. a'''l,-t end, only TIE ury' tay
-hc was "a 'u tear 10 au 1r.n-. ~ attempt