Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-04-18

FisTIcUFTs IN HIGH LIFE.
Last Saturday morning Montpelier had a
frst-class sensation, completely eclipsing the
smallpox scare and throwing that alien
crossing topic completely in the shade.
Capt. Clark, our worthy postmaster, was
walking up Main street in sanity frame
OF mind, meditating on the beauties Of Spring
time and with soul hrimming over with
good viii toward all men, when. to use his
own quaint and inimitab confession to his
pastor, - met mine adversary and | smote
him hip and thigh. The adversary CHANGED
10 be brother Atkins, who had lust stepped
ont OF Splnney' 5 market, where he had or
dered a bountiful fish diet for the promotion
Of sufficient brain power to enable him TO
minister to the literary delectation of the
Argus readers, and to more effectively " 90
for Capt. Clark in another column Of per
s0nal criticism in this week = paper But
for once the editor found his dietetic arrange
ments should have had reference to the cult
vation of Drawn and muscle rather than the
finer tissues in the Uranium. The postmaster
politely tapped the editor on the shoulder.
and, with a smile that was child-like and
bland. inquired why he had 50 grossly ma
ligned him in his paper. The editor cOur-
teOusly ret0rted that it was none of the
postmaster : business the paper was his
own, and he should use its columns as he
pleased. ThoreupOn the postmaster rose to
explain, and his language was plain, and
the editor was no gentleman. and ought to
be kicked out Of decent society. The edi-
tor spiritedly objected to such an estimate
Of his character being thus publicly ex-
pressed, and hurled at the postmaster epi-
thetS more pointed and personal than cour-
teous and complimentary. The postmaster.
warming up to his subject, emphatically
asserted that the public street, filed with
passers-by, was quite as propera place for
personalities as the columns of a newspaper.
and scathingly denounced the editor As a
maligner and coward. The editor. brSt-
ling all over with fight and fury, waxed ex-
ceedlngiy wroth, and invited his accuser
TO " dry up, or he would catch "particu-
lar fits. - The postmaster temper had
now risen 20 fever heat, and, unmindful of
the proprieties Of 4 free fight. he insult
ingly spit full in his adyersary's face
Just as the editor with the fist that holds
the pen that sways the world was essay
ing scientific pas, at the official cheek.
Greek had met Greek, and now came the
tug of war. Eepelling the pro1ercd love
pat. We regret TO say the postmaster struck
from the shoulder right and left. peeling
the editorial nose, putting the editorial eye
m mourning. raising that " allcgOrical
scab. we have lately read about. ON that
handsome editorial phiz. Could gross in
dignity further 90? Had all the milk of
human kindness curdled in men veins
Else why should the editors hand wander
neryously upward as if to tweak the official
nose, OF the p0Stmaster's : h0ny fingers. 50
ardcntly essay % raise the editorial scalp.
Now feet began TO play-ah, it was sorry
feat 10 behold, when all feet. come from
what direction they might, tended to the
same extremity.
At length, both c0mbatants went to the
walk, and the loving tenderness of the post
master was under and over and about the
editor. In fact the editor was" on top ofthe
heap, resting serenely in the official lap.
with the Official legs wound about him,
the official fingers twined deyOtedlv in his
back hair and tightly pressing the editori-
al head o. the official breast. To complete
the graceful attachment of the recumbeut
beauties, the editorial arm encircled the
official neck and the taper fingers were
i0ndly feeling for the pOstmaster's iugu-
lar as ever such scene for painter
And now the hyStanders thought it time
10 take a hand in the game. 4 former
street jmmiS>ioner, who had been striving
20 keep the ring clear and 70 have every
think done decently and in order. was
pressed back, Auditor Ferrin proclaimed
the riotact, and called upon the captain TO
de~ist Col. Brown, who, according to the
Arms. Is always poking his nose into other
people business, seized the postmaster
hand and succeeded in twisting it ourof
the editor hair. although bringing some of
the fleece with IL, and escorted the fighting
captain from the bloody field One Cain
not he of the Courier nor the SLAYER of Abel.
but good naured burly harness-maker-
teuderiy raised the editor and marched him
in an opposite direction The war was
Ger, the battle fought. the victory won.
The angel of ketribution had passed by for
this time, and gentle Peace spread her
wings once more over our usually quiet
village