Los Angeles daily herald., 1873-10-26
Four.Legged drunkenness.
A story for Bipeds About q Qaadrups

There was no better behaved dog in
the entire State of Illinois than Bal
lard's "Monte." He was young, hand
some, educated and of good moral
habits. He was high-bred setter,
with long, soft hair, dark brown i'll
color, and tawny under the throat.
His eyes We're soft and melting in
their expression, his silken ears had
the droop, and his aristocratic
tail was eloquent in its expression OF
joy and affection, and rigid as an AK
handle when its owner came to point.
Monte was reasonable dog. You
could always make him see the point
without the aid of the hunting whip
AS for his nose-there never was such
a nose hung to a dog before. He
could scent a quail across a 40-acre
field, and could retrieve anything ex-
cept his reputation in the latter part
of his career. He would carry dead
bird mile and put it into wagon,
and he never mOuthed or mangled
the game.
When Ballard was nervous or flus-
tered, and missed good shots, Monte
cheerfully came up to be licked with
the ramrod, magnanimously taking
all the blame himself, but when any
body else of the party missed fair
shot, Monte made no attempt to conceal
his contemptuous disgust. On these
occasions he usually relieved his
mind by licking the other dog. But,
alas! In an evil hour he tasted the
first glass of beer, and from that mo-
ment was a ruined dog. The way of it
was this: 1t was a hot day in August,
and Ballard and his friend had been
hunting over fiery stubble for hours.
No water was to be had, but keg of
beer was in the wagon. Monte was
nearly gone up. His tongue hung out
a foot or more, and his palpitating
sides indicated speedy dissolution.
Ballard. unable to obtain water, gave
him quart of beer, which he Tapped
up with satisfaction, and demanded
more. He was given pint more.
Considerably refreshed, the hunt
was resumed, but Monte behaved
strangely. He dashed about in reck-
less manner, and tumbled headlong
over. He bafked in maudlin, inco-
herent way, and quarreled without
cause with Smiths dog. He seemed
to have lost the control of his nose,
and would run over covey OF grouse,
and o moment after come to q dead
point on field mouse or grasshopper.
He chased rabbits-an indiscretiOn
which he would have scorned in his
sober senses. 1t was painfully evident
that Monte was drunk-palpably and
oh Of. nj mn Ir,rnly fIIlnr
The next morning Monte got up
with a raging headache. He felt bad.
His hair pulled. But he seems to
have heard of the drunkard's axiom
"the hair of the dog is good for the
bite'-and he accordingly followed
Ballard down town and "rung in' on
him while he was taking his matinal
whisky and tansey. Ballard stood
treat, and Monte "histed in" a glass
Of old stock ale. Several lOafers
thought it was funny to see dog
making beast of himself, and SO
they invited poor Monte to take
another and another, until the upshot
of it was he went home that night
drunker than ever. 1t got nOised
around town that Monte liked beer,
and everybody began to invite him.
The consequence was that he became
sot. He neglected his business. His
beautiful eyes became red and rheumy,
and his silken coat got shaggy. He
frequented the bar-rooms, and "laidn
for invitations to drink. When hard
pressed he would run his face with the
Dar-keeper.
Monte made frequent efforts to re-
form, but dog flesh is weak. After a
day or two of abstinences, he would
plunge in deeper debauch. And so
he went from bad to worse. His
master becoming alarmed, served
notice on all whisky shops not to let
Monte have anything, but to no pur-
pose. He found means to get drink
every day. Beer got too weak for him,
and he took to whisky. Other dogs
begun to look down on him. Smiths
dog-a miserable mongrel-cut his
acquaintance. Even the fistes and
bench-legs regarded him with a pity
that was more CALLING to his proud
nature than contempt. Finally the
end came. After an unusual protract-
ed debauch. Monte began to see
things. He would bristle up at the
imaginary dogs, and then shrink in
the most abject terror from some i'm
aginary assailant. Then he would
come to dead point on nothing, and
again he would hustle imaginary cats
about the yard, and getting them in a
corner, bark for hours at vacancy. He
couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He
couldn't do anything that was sensi-
BILE, and finally died as the fool dieth--