Litchfield enquirer., 1873-10-23

A bore is a man who spends so much time talking about himself that you can't t&lk ab0ut yourself.
 hour passes in the increasing march of tine. but that there is half dressed man so1EwheEe On the earth, calling for a zhirk-DaR. Nescs
 The panic has so far abated as to per nil ths Essex street man to return to ten cent cigars. and he hopes, in another U0nkh, If the brightness continues to in- crease. to get his boys boots half soled. -Nesr&
 An epikaph in PennsyIvan ia church. y4rE Here lies the body of Amy Major, who departed this life March 20, 1792. SaHsce 1t is to say that she was an honest womAn-the second noblest work of Cod.
 The minister of rural parish having neglected to pray for rain, was waited up oa by a deputation to remonstrate with him on the omission. "Weel-a-weel," he replied, after hearing what tLey had to say, '-Tn pray for rain to please ye, but the felnt drap yell get till the change O the moon
 A clergyman once, when reading the burial service, came to the place where he must say. tour deceased brother tor sis terl" He did not know which; so, turn ing to a mourner, he asked whether it was "bROkheV" or a sssisier" The mourner fnnocenfly sad, "No relation at all, sir only an acquaintance.
 A Sacramento lawyer remarked to the
 Sm s,,lz that you "a are s an old fooi." % The fudge e'eI, al, lowed his mildly beaming eye to fall up- on the lawyer . brief moment; then, in a vcice husky with suppressed emotion, said, ssIt is my candid opinion that you are fined one hundred dollars"
 A distinguished officer was lately presi. dent of a court-martial. He had sworn 6 witness. Q raw Irish recruit, and held out his hand for the Bible. Judge of his as- tn1isAnent at finding 1.-the hand, not the bOok-grasped and heartily shaken by Pat who. Tn the broadest brogue, said '-Ikis meself who is proud and biased to hOa6 the hand of ye, sir; and may Saint PaEhrick and all the saints of ould Ireland bless yer honor"
 A farmer and his wife called at a Detroit pAcsograph gallery, last week, to orde snme ph0sogTahs of the latter, and whil, the operator was getting ready, the hus band gave the wife little advice as t, how she must act: 'tFaSten your mind or so@ekhing." or else yoa will laugh ant spSls the job. Think about early days Aow your father got in gaol. and you Rokhe< was an old scolder, and what you have been if I hadn't pitied you Jes t&zkea your mind on to thatw She didn' have any photographs taken.
 What sympathetic cough that is whicl people have m church. There is notice ah1a silence upon the congregation Sokhing is heard but the low measured en@e& q the service. There is no othe movement or sound Tn the building. Sud denly. In the southeast corner, there is 0@1A hack from a human throat Thu e@nosde1ed. some one coughs a littl ko11er. and he IS followed by some on wS8A H0re courage still, and in an instan there Ia a perfect whirlwind of coughing spskksng and wheexing, all round the room Tca Gnd yourself joining in. althougl yua have felt no desire to clear you thromk. and are surprised at the relief yo exnexSenca. The storm subsidies as sud dealv as 1t arose. and an impressive lul EnfkumA Then the skifmisers start u sgznspop Pop. pop. % the reports, frs ln enc direction. and then in another an, aeenerzl eagagement at once comes of Wand 6s skill more remarkable than thi haz1la of tAe tonslls. is the impenetrabl MyH1Mzy which surrounds the individual 44 ex s@e MEz< eo1Eher. He is like th
 nm sMSed by patent medicine. To, knnw tAeze is such party, although 70, mAy maFeR hope to meet him on acounf Q tAe Gzsa3 distance of his town.-NesVs.