, 1873-08-31
HUNIOR,

can i ssS e. 9s ss Snse singing p:Ssa Tiki oE with
HUMoR.
A Wabash editor returns thnnts for cont.
pcdo sent him by mail from Texan, being tho
lirst cont Of nny kind ho hnd soon fol mouths.
.-Scruplcs. English tourist -"AIy man,
what's your charge for. rowing mo across tho
Frith?" Boatnnn7 =" 1Veol, cir, 7 was jst think
than fltoen ghulrns "-7'unch
A bennington daughter, wlloao domestic
nature is oqual to lor natural simplicity, was in-
yitod BY an Advent oxhortcr to join his sect, get
emit" tho mai1en replied 80 father aud mother
eFe e going up and somebody muHt stay to 500 to
a Cincinnati editor, who has indu1gea in q
heavy hfe-insurance is said to DO followed
whenovor he goes a-iahing by sovoral insurance
and sun-uzbYallas.
right road for stratrord- -shakspcarc'g town, you
know, my man: You've often heard Of shaka-
"A Clay County, Kontucky, nuctionoor pulled
goes froliching around whilo tho aalc is going
on, I Bhall interrupt him in Ills cnreer. Put
them allot-guns over by tho fenco an leavo ON
Paris. aevoral fronch cooks, tcmptod BY iigh
| pay, loft Paris for Now York. Indeed, when tho
chef de cuisine of the Tuileries departed, society
doomed 1t an irroparablo loss. "no was nan
| of great md uncloutled intellect, with acuto
yiews ns to tho clcarnesa Of Houp; q nne Judge
Of general oneGt; and, rs composer, bus rnrely
--"11clto, bill" criea q boot.black to com.
his leg" It lie did lhat," replied tho 'pllincr'
Addressed "nutl wasn't it bully for me- though
Iio vas going to wsliop mo that very night
--Aluch amusement is causod in New York by
6Yf7n1 ek,,ifo
Htrecta with d small cork attached by n string,
and having tho following printed upon it in large
1ottora :" Tho most horrible doath a to bo talk
ed to Death 70 prevent tAo above terrible fato
card. Dircctions-put tho cork in your ear"
"A tale Of. two Norristown husbands: Ono
upon leaving Lis Office the other night, Atoppoel
| Of Biue Eyee.' lilo other, after leaving lB
of1ico, stopped at aaloon, pai'l 1.25 for whisky,
and went home and gaYo his vito Il pair Of black
oyeB.
-.-Exclusiyenoss. Host-"N Nieo party, amt it.
Major Lo 3puugcr? 'Igh and low, rich and
roor--n,oss reoplo nro welcome to this 'ouso
This Is Liberty AL his isl No falso pride or
The AIajor-" Very nice party, indeed, alr. shod-
| dy! How proud your father and mother must
faoll Aro they horo I" uost-"Woll. no 'Nng
tse9a u al r you know one must ar"" tic line s0"s-
| Precautions against tho cholora aro very
nrrnorous at presont. Taking al tho advice
given, we learn tint if man cals nothing, drinks
no liquors, drinks no ice-water, drinla no warm
water, drinks nothing elAe, woara nannos, batl,os
thrco times n day, keeps hia back yard clean,
phyH his taxes, ayoids water drinks brandy onti
ripe fruit, wears nothing, does not a,aoka. and
follows such other methods Of provoption as hg
common oonso may dictate, ho neod hayo no
fcarn Of cholera. ..
An illustration Of Irish simplicity ia afforded
by tho renlY Of Q candidate for tho office Of
teacher: The e1anlinerwaa oncoayoring to elicit
the candidato's ilea Of tho market value Of labor
with reference to doma7d and supply; but, bo-
ing ba11led, ho put question in this simple form
"lf thoro arc in your villago two H]loomakors
With just sufficient employment to cnahlo tllom
to 1iyo tolerably, aud no moro, what would fol-
iage :" "What would follow, sir !" ochoed tic
candidate; why, fight, to DO suro:'
- mDanbury s5 nowa pareegEaphs "a Danblry
ing requested BY his vito to havo the ico-man
atop there, aail 1t was kcold enough now at the
house to suit him, and then dolgod.
"a little boy on Wooster street foil from 4
atoop on Thursday, and received severe bruises.
Ills father Was sent for, and, on arriving homo,
found thirty~one women in tho house. 1t took
tho mother Of tho boy five lays to got tho vari-
ons bottles of campior aud hartsaorn to their
rightful ownors.
IA West street family had little social gath
oring, Monday evening. During The evening tho
Acal OF Tho houao volunteered to crack sonlo
TAluul6 LAhlltu lutL9slt1t hllA
walnut from which tho hammer glanced flow
agaiuHt q to1-loar yaso, aud knocked IN its ab-
domon. Then tho head Of tho house throw tho
hnmmor through fire acreon, kicked tho pau Of
wnnts acrosH tllo floor and into tho log, OF tho
minister, and went Into tho kltchon to loiiyer an
adtlrosB. The party broko mp.
"Wlon there Ia not breath OF air stirring,
aud you arc III danger Of stitling, attempt to
light cigar out doors, and YOU will Do sur
rrisol at tho breozn that will atnrt up. Wo layo
aaon n man try this experiment In 4 dcal calp,
nnd by tho timo Ito had scratched tlrtoon
matches it was really 20 windy as 10 bo ilnco1n~
forlablo.
"Tho little glrla aro keeping house now aud
inviting othor littlo girls to tuio tea with tllem
Tho ten collsiutB mostly Of WArln wA.ov served in
miniature wootlon dHhea, aiiil n slico OF Eroon
apple with worm in 1t. Tile litIlo girs drink
tho ton and cllow tho apple with proper soloului-
ty. Then tllcy, I Bllant! You're just as nlcan
as you can to!' y shall 50 right hone, ,oio!
aid kic! eael other OIL Tho logs, aud dibporse."
I!gsccts Of Otanlybcnto Water.
Whom Murphy first bought his farm III I.ancas.
tor County, le WAS not aware That Wll tho water
OIL tho pronBos wau utrongly inlprosnatol with
iron. Du! when lio drank Tint cl!alyboato wasor
| for lyo or aix months hiH Byatcni WIS 40 thor
oNgllly charged with iron that whom 1lo would
wake up i'll tho morning lo would find tint tho
bolstoul had gradually shifted around during
tho night Until tho lleaa pointed narth And tho
cljlrona bcls AIl performed tho aa!lo lnR1lo