Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1873-09-04
The Family Letter.

S A~SNsNAs
The family letter is written on Sundays.
The reason that day is selected is not alone
because of the leisure it presents. The
quiet of the day, its relief from all influ-
ences that irritate or agitate, frees the
mind from irrelevant and antagonistic
matter, and makes it pre.eminently fit
occasion for communing with distant
loved ones, In nine cases out of ten the
letter is written by the head of the family,
and of those sent an equal proportion are
addressed to his wife's folks. We don't
know why it is that a man so rarely
writes to his own folks, but as it is not
the province of this article to treat on that
subject, we will pretend we don't care.
The hour being selected for inditing the
letter, the first thing is to find the paper.
regulated family for keeping such things.
1t is either in the table or stand. Here
the writing paper, and odd screws, and
fiddle strings, and broken locks, and fish
lines, and grocery receipts are kept. There
will see them The sheet of paper is
finally found, the fly stains neatly scraped
of, and the search commences for the ink
pen. uc Is lOuud
on the mantel, next to the clock, and is
Immediately laid on the table convenient
to the perspiring man, who sarcastically
inquiries if the letter is to be written to-
day or next Sunday. This inspires the
wife with new zeal in the search. She
goes over the drawer again because she
knows he wouldn't see anything if it was
right under his nose; but the pen is not
there. Then she looks over the top of the
bureau, and lifts everything on the
front room table, and says it seems so
singular it can't be found, when she saw
it only the day before, and thought about
the letter. Then she goes into the pantry,
and after exploring the lower shelf in
vain, stands upon chair and carefully
goes over the top SHELF where the medi-
cine bottles and unused cans are stationed.
After she has done this, she starts up stairs,
and pretty soon returns with the pen, and
takes it to the sink to wash the grease
from it, but does not succeed in quite eff
facing the delicate scent of bergamot.
This leads him to observe that anybody
who takes pen-holder to lift hair grease
from bottle is too pure and innocent for
this world. Everything now in readiness,
good humor is restored, the wife takes a
seat opposite with her elbows on the Ia
BILE, and her chin in her hands, and as
sumes an expression of countenance that
is mysteriously calculated to both en-
courage and depress the writer; and he
grasps the pen tightly between his fingers,
and stares at the paper with an intensity
that is entirely unnecessary. The date
line starts off glibly, and then suddenly
ceases us it reaches the date itself lie
puts the holder in his mouth and imme.
dately spits it out again, making up face
that is no wise suggestive of bcrgamot
and pettishly asks her if she knows the
day of the month. OF course she does
1t is the l3th-or is it the--but not
must be. She hesitates, stares at him
waivers, and is lost. She don't know
whether it is the 18th or the 18th, but the
almanac will tell, and she at once starts
to hunt it up. This occasions delay
of some fifteen minutes, during which
he makes ninety-five passes at one fly
The date having been satisfactorily set
tied upon, and the things which rolled
over the floor, as that stand drawer uneX
pectedly fell out, having been restored tc
their place, the date line is completed
and Dear mother" started. The pen is q
home pen, of bashful mold, and when
ever it starts line it requires half dozer
passes to make it give down. All home
pens do this. And all home sheets O
paper have weak spots which the ink re
fuses TO cross, thus creating some remark
able divisions of words, and considerable,
confusion among sentences. Some o.
these spots are two inches in diameter
and anybody in the next room can tell tho
moment the writer comes to them, just as
well as if he was looking over his should
err When the letter is completed, which
generally occurs at the end of the fifth
hour from the commencement, it is care
fully read over, and supplied with absent
words, and then gone over again and
artistically touched up with the pen at the
bare places Then it is folded up ready
for the envelope, and the discovery is
made that there Is no envelope in the
house, and the letter is tucked in behind
the clock until the want is supplied
Danbury Neus.