The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1873-10-23
MASCULINE ,ooKEHH


q two gentlemen who tried 10 keep bons,
while their W.ves went into the country
We sBbi8iu au extract: Ou 0nr rctuu
hemc from business, that afternoon, oui
( first move was to invest 80 a small "a.
stove 81 The most convenient aud eXpedl
lious method Of cooking the various warn
dishes We were 10 indulge in. AZ neither
Of us cared fer tea, we decided to hay,
coffee; bat as 20 what quantity wal
requisite, or bow long H should boil
neither Of us had The iaiutest idea. Al
/ venture, decided that three heaping
( lablespoonluls Of ground coffee would be
about the required proportion for eael
person. So acting upon this rule, | i'm
mersed il 10 something ike a quart oI
cold water, setting it on the gas stove to
I boil, where il hissed aud sputtered away
I for half an hour, now and then boiling
over aud extiuguishing the flame. On
pouring It out, what an uky fluid pre-
seated Itself 10 our yicwl We had tasted
/ "cafe Boirf before, but that was pale be.
/ side this. We strained and restrained IL
aud restrained our temper likewise, bui
/ al TO no purpose: il was black and mud
I dy aud as hard to settle as an account
current Of ten years standing. Slopkini
suggested eggs, and in they went, two ot
I them; but the coffee had ceased to boil
and they did not have the desired clarity
/ lug effect, Then we found Our milk had
turned sour, and their was no milkmar
/ due until next morning. So we swal
lowed the ebony fluid as best we could
aud took such comfort AS could be de
rived from the thought Of the delicate
pancakes the sour milk would make
/ Slopkins went to the pantry for -four, anC
shortly returned with Il box containing &
mensed sitting into the milk | sug
1 gesled to him that soda was also required
to counteract the acidity Of the lactea
| Huid aud to render the cakes light, whcr
be produced jar from which he stirred
into the bowl of batter teaspoonful o
white powder, which he said he was surf
was soda. But the batter was by thi
time becoming wonderfully stiff and diff
tleult to stir, and We were both wonder
ing what could be the difficulty with the
flour, when, accideutly glancing at tht
side Of the box, discovered the label
"Plaster of Paris" There were no caket
for us that night. So we again repaired
TO the bakers and bought some fresl
bread and tea cakes, and swallowed then
and our disappointment as cheerfully a
possible. The next morning we were NJ
early, and while made second attemp
at coffee, Slopkins had procured steal
and eggs, and was reading the morning
paper in the dining room. A ring of on
Isundress at the door was heard. Tn
basement door leading into the yard wa
open to let in the fresh morning air
Leaving il thus, some business with tn
laundress requiring my personal atten
ton, rushed up stairs TO obey the sum
mons, and on my return, found the steal
missing. A hurried scratching upon tn
back fence just then attracted my notice
when, looking out, saw our steak disap
pearing in the mouth of an immense ca
of the masculine persuasion, who wa
then vanishing into the yard of the thir'
house above US. But time would fail m
to tell Of the scorched pancakes, the ex
perimental soups, as upalatable as tn
"witches" broth" in Macbeth" +" and a
productive of "toiI and trouble" OF tn
napkins left soiled, and eaten by mice
wherever a spot Of grease conld rende
them attractive 10 these rodents Of th
amount Of china and glass broken by on
clumsy manipulations while attempting
to wash our breakfast and dinner dishes
Of the narrow escape we had from pois
onng IN our first attempt at pancake:
which we discovered some days atte
were mixed with arsenic as well as pla.
ter OF paris, some of the aforesaid poiso
having been left in jar, mixed wit
-four to kill rats, and so labelled; but W
had not at the time detected It, and bu
for the plaster Of paris this narrative ha
perhaps never been written. Suffice it {
say, what with mishaps aud accidents il
Vulnerable; with imaginary burglar
often disturbing our nightly reposc
with experiences at sewing on buttor
and dSruing stockings that would surpa'
the "Danbury Man" and with multif
rious other incidents, ranging from Ii
height Of the ridiculous to the depth ,
aggravation we have managed 10 snrvi'
by abandoning the culinary art, as one
O.. the lost ones, and by taking our meals
a Christian and respectable manner at II
house Of our neigt Dor aud friend, Mr.
Maxly, who has taken compassion upo
our forlorn condition, and consents
feed US until September is over, when "
look for the return Of Mrs. S, and Il
children We shall da the best we can
put the house in condition to receir
T them, but knowing the fastidious nes
ness OF that pattern Of house-wifery, v
look forward to their advent wi
pleasure not uumixcd with fear al
I trembling
.
TRAVELLING FEMALES.