The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1873-11-07
VARIETIES.

An Alabama newspaper is OF the opin-
ion that the shooting OF insectivorors birds
has cost the State $10,000,000 this year
alone in the ravages made by the cotton
caterpillar.
Jones was thrown into u state Of Won
der by the sign ladies felt slippers" which
he discovered when passing shoe store
He can't understand it. lie says children
felt slippers in his day often enough, but
ladies generally wore them, except when
they were removed for cause.
The New Orleans HcyuM relates how
pet monkey in that city, seeing that
little child was on the point of being run
over by street car, rushed into the street
and wrcnchcd the child from the Jaws of
death That beats any monkey
ever heard Of before.
DR.. Thomas delivered lecture in this
city last evening on "Why We Do Not
Live To Be Hundred Years Old ~ The
reason why most of us do not, is because
we don't have the chance. He says that
Arabs OF the Desert often live to be 200
years old, which we don't believe.-Neac
York paper.
"A Hartford bricklayer let fail !. brick
from the fourth story upon the shoulder of
a man passing beneath. The man paused
for moment, and then with voice tremb-
ling with emotion, shouted: "Hi! you
dropped IL brick The bricklayer, who
was looking over the edge of the scatlold to
see if the brick was damaged, was pleased
to find that it was not hurt, and cheerfully
answered, "All right, you needn't mind
bringing it up
A school-boy's toothache generally COM
mences at eight A. NJ, reaches the highest
altitude at quarter to nine, when the
pain is intense to an extraordinary degree;
commences to subside at nine, and after
that disappears with Il celebrity that must
be very comforting to the sufferer. If at
night that boy hasn't got four quarts of
walnuts spread out to dry up stairs, it is
because there is no place up stairs to do it.
DanJuy Netcs.
On one of the trips Of II steamer the
steerage passengers were so numerous as to
make them uncomfortable. The sleeping
accommodations were aptly described by
Californian, who approached the captain
and said l should like to have a sleeping
berth, if you please. Why, where have YOU
been sleeping these last two nights since
we left 2 Wa'al, I've been sleeping n top
of sick man, but he's got better now and
won't stand it no longer.
The other day. at concert, gentle
man having put his hat upon chair to
keep place, returned to claim it after
short absence. The bat he found sure
enough where it had been left, only there
was a stout lady sitting on it.
MADAM" said he, you are sitting ON
my hat"
The lady blushed little, turned round,
and said, in the blandest manner, "Oh, l
beg pardon I'm sure thought it was my
husbands"
"A Housekeeper" writes to us, asking
Chow to dress lobster" We don't know.
We never dressed lobster If the lobster
is about II years old, maybe it would look
well in a plain waist with demi-trained
skirt Of blue silk and medium sized pan
nier, and an organdie polonaisc with q
pinkish mauve challie, six-buttoned gloves
and white chip hat We say maybe it
would; but perhaps "Housekoeper, before
dressing her lobster, had better subscribe
for u fashion magazine, which will tell her
all about such things
Que of the most extraordinary things
in this world is the conduct of a hen on the
approach of a team. If she is standing in
the way at the time, she remains there, and
you instinctively stop your horse, only to
discover that she is safely out of the way
And if she is on one side of the road she |
Immediately dashes into the centre and |
brings you up again, while the cold sweat
forms on your back at the thought of the
damages. And it is little singular that
while you are confident you never saw
hen run over, nor ever heard of such o |
thing, yet no number of trials can keep
back the perspiration from your back, or
prevent you from drawing up your horse to
the imminent danger of his hind legs.