Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1873-10-18
Single Blessedness.

Report of a man IrhO kept house irhie ms
lcife ,cas of for the Summer.
Ny wife had gone away fcT the Summer.
and left me in full charge Of the house. like
it /; hayn't had su:h a run Of liberty since we
were married. hope she's having sool time,
for can now exercise my rights at the head
of thehmily. Cln'tdo it when she's at home
she'll not stand it. She has rules, and makes
everybody about her toe the mark. But I've
got her now, aud am having things my own
way.
This morning came home quite early 1t
was . \. NJ. had been to the club and got
caught out in the rain For half an hour |
couldn', find the key hole, which must have
got mislail l felt fer it everywhere, aud even
got down into the yard and examined every
brick, but couldn't find it. was in the act Of
calling one Of my neighbors AMI asking him
who carried off my front door, when happen
ed to End it and got into the house.
10 the dark kicked over a spittoon, but
luckily didn't get any of the tobacco juice on
my boots. hung my overcoat and umbrella
on the prong Of the chandelier, let them drip
on the parlor carpet, went up stairs and turn
ed in with my boots on. ! thought it wasn't
worth while to pull them off, as would have
to get up in eight or ten hours any how. If
my wife had been at home she'd have had me
looking an hour for the bootack, aud | would
have lost that amount of rest which my sys-
TEN so much needed. Beside she'd have made
me give full account Of myself which | don't
like to do. ! never did believe in praising
myself It's better to let others speak Of ones
virtues. can now wear shirt a week and
its noboly's business. ! don't sec how | ever
got along with that woman. The idea Of hav-
ing to put on a clean shirt, black my boots,
and brush up my clothes every morning, is
simply ridiculous 1t is miracle to me how
ever did it and attend to other affairs. |
can now read the morning papers without be-
ing forced to see an impatient woman stand
ing with her dress in one hand, looking very
miserable and telling me she is going down
street and wants the paper. Any one, looking
at the house now, would know there's no wo-
man about, everything is 50 quiet and comfor
table and handy. If I want to do "a little fgu-
ring don't have to hunt up pencil, or pen
and ink, but us. sit down to one Of the
tables and doit with my fingers, and there's
nobody to be eternally welding a detcstable
dusting brush around my bed and telling me
to get up out Of the way until the house is
cleaned up. These are considerations that
every man sboul ponder over. But if We do
ponder aud resolve what good does it DO p
That's tie Qaestion that is now asitating tie
American people. What good does it do?-
Not bit If these women cau's have every
thing Just their own way, they swoon of into
hystelis As a consequence we hive 10 pay
a ffy dollar doctor bill, and stay in the house
al day flaming her, aud promising in the end
that we may be happy yet, before they
show any disposition to compromise Our
wives are petite too much. Aud this reminds
me that mine wont yield to any other treat
not. undertook to prescribe a more string
eut remedy for her one day, but it threw her
into fit more like jamjams than anything !
know Of She broke every plate in the house
over my head, and then l had to kiss her be-
fore she would promise not to do it again.
That's what makes me say she is set in her
ways
There, too, are the piano and sutar, which
she kept going from morning until midnight,
filling the whole ncighborhood with dscorlant
sounds which size called music Both are as
mute as the bird cage which was vacated last
week by strategic movement Of the cat.
The two hundred pots Of flowers she left me
to cultivate don't think will produce much Of
crop. They're nearly all sipe now, and
there's no sign Of flower yet have water
cd them twice since she left, but it did no good.
reckon they miss Der, and are pning away
because she amt here IN this respect they do
not resemble me to any alarming extent.
Our kitchen never looked better The stove
and pipe have assumed q beautiful red tint,
and the pots are bringing forth tiue crop Of
white looking vegetable mould, which havn't
learned the name Of; but she'll know it when
she comes. The dishes don't lo)k quite as
brigh; and clean as they might, bat the flies
are bad this year, AMI if were to wash them
every two weeks they wouldn't present res
pectable appearance.
Notice to the Edtor.-Please suppress that
article sent you about my Spell Of Single
Blessedncss" The old woman has got back
What Politics did for Him.
1t is related that a plain honest farmer, The