Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-18
Proverbs by Josh Billings.

THAKE are but phew things man does
in this life, be they good, bad, or inditfer
ent but what can be traced to selfluv.
Rozes and thorns gro on the same bush
and kluss together.
What kan yu say of a man Wuss than
tew call him hipokrit and tyrant?
Flattcry IL a poor artikle to deal in,
bkauZe there IL no man who IL worthy of
it but what dispizes it.
Jist az soon az a man lOZes all hiz prop
erty, then we all ov us reckOlekt at once
that he was alWuss a kussid phoOl.
The man who IL humble in prosperity
and brave in adversely IL az mulch abuv
the reach of fortune az an angel il abuv
tcmtashun.
| hav 2 hats One il shocking bad
one and the other IL gem, and notiss
when i hav the gem on git double the
mods, on the avenue, from pedestrians.
Thare IL lots ov folks who are no use tew
va only when yu are on the topmost wave
and then their voices are lost in the gen
eral chorus.
Take all the vanity and selphishness out
Ov man, and thare amt mulch Ov any
thing else left.
Good clothes make the impreshun, but
they don't make the man.
L nav got patient rue way lew lutuCc
people tew be happy. 1t IL this, make
everybody think they are better oph
than yu are.
After all, the world pays their gratest
homage to virteW and branes-thank God
for this
A man may hav branes and yet not
make h5t but he can't make a hit unless
he haz the branes.
" a
christianized the world bckums, the more
laws, and otfisers of the law, we hav teW
hav.
IT ought tew kure emmy ov us Ov pride
and ambishun when we reflect that the
grave duz not more ct1ektually hide our
boldly than it duz our mem0riZ.
He IL ritch whoZe welth satistys hiz
wants, and he IL poor whOze welth don't.
Adversely haz the same etfekt on a man
that a kOld time haZ on the arlS grain,
it checks it at the top, and makes it take
root.
Ridkule haz no power aginst truth, and
it wont hav aginst phOlly unless it IL hon
estly and smartly did.
Take the people all out ov it, and this
world would bea delitefull phase to liv.
The only way teW convince phOOl liz
to outtalk him.
don't serpoze thare haz been over so
sekrets kept in fust hands since the daze
Ov Adam.
Lazy men are alwuss konseited kritters.
About the tightest spot man kan git
into IL WHARF he kant blame emmy boldly
but himself.
If there want nothing but truth in the
world we could git along with one third
Ov the language we use now.
A ID,,t win
God, and keeps his eye on the pot when
it's a bileing.
If there wa'n'tno Ignorance there would
be no prejudise for everything would be
valued list ackordin to its worth.
Mi yung friend, yu may Civ every man
yu meet the whole ov the road if yu hav
mind to. but WI must not eXpekt to git
emmy kredit for it.
SANDER IL a poisoned AFRO, shot by
concealed howard.
A s0phist seems tew be a party who,
having suckceeded in cheating himself,
IL anxious tew serve others in the same
way.
| Pedigree may be ov sum use tew rase-
horse, but ov what use it kan be tew d
man il MYSTERY tew me.
Simplisity IL one ov the most diffikult
| things to acquire, while florid stile IL
| the eazyest
fairly envy the kredulity of sum
pholks. They will let the same dog blight
| them in the same place times, and de-
klare it il good joke.
/ never allow emmy man tew beat me in
politeness. If the most humble man on
the street tutches hiz hat tew me, | tutch
mine in reply.
Phools are just az necessary in this
world az litening rods are.
Edukashun il a good thing generally,
but most pholks edukate their preju-
dices.
The older we gro the less we are certain
ov
Fun il suggar-coate phissick.
Ekonemy IL the mother in law ov hap
piness.