The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-05-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The philadelphia Star faNors the entering Dl
females into the barbering business, ana thinh'
"a tonsorial establishment manned by half I
dozen light.handed girls would prove success
Does the word manned apply to the girls OF
the establishment?
We notice call in the state Register of Spring
field, for Il convention to bc held Chicago,
poker. players to devise hand that VIII bea
four aces. Maquon might send its supervisor
hR0r Co. Dam,
II is understood that the Hon. John A. Logar
is to be president of the convention.
Here is an epitaph that shows the superiority
of railroads over the old time stage coach:
Weep, stranger, for farmer spilled
From a stage-coach, and thereby killed;
His name was John Sykes, maker OF sassengcr'
Slain with three other outside passengers"
The Chicago Journal is 80 years old.-Er.
The OTTAWA FREE TRADER is 81 years old
Wot OF it?
The defalcaton of Taintor, the Atlantic bank
cashier, is thrown into eclipse by man named
Grambo, of Philadelphia, who "went up few
days ago for 100000. Assets, 100000 How
provoked and disgusted Taintor will be when hC
hears of that.
According to that most reliable authority upon
agricultural subjects, Mark Twain, the season OF
the year has now fully arrived
"When--if the ground is not too wettish,
You should put III some onions, peas and lettuce
Personal-,John Smith, Esq, has arrived safely
home from a visit to his relations in New York.
Clinton Register.
There must be some mistake about that. John
Smith has still two months to serve in the
penitentiary
The sad effects of matrimOny were never more
terribly depicted than in Kentucky town, the
other day, where mcek-eyed man who had been
married about year. patrolled the village streets
all day, trying to swap meerschaum pipe for
second hand cradle.
A clergyman in Pennsylvania instead of saying,
Let US praym says: 1t us interview the throne
Of grace" The dominic had once been reporter.
BE vrtuous and you will be happy" but you
won't have much fun.-Porton Record
The venerable Dr. Underhl used to say, peo-
PIE who talk about what they know nothing
about, always talk foolshness How does this
chap know what it is to be yrtuous?
The man who edits the outside of the Rochelle |
Register has tied his ears over his head.-Rock-
.JoId Register,
In the language of Anna Dickinson, whats
20 hinder"
None but an escaped lunatic, like the editor
OF the n. Y. World, could perpetratc an appalling
conundrum like this
Why, now, is Mr. Wendell Phillips like for
gctful pastry-cook? Because he wants puffs
Not at all. Because he makes so much use of
John Browns pke-rustg Not bit of ii. Some
Well, why then? Why because he's going
about the country again to lecture on Lost Tarts"
The New York Sun essays to rival the exquisite
poem Of Mary had little lamb" as follows
Once
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
FlCcCcs were AS white as snow
But
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Went where lambs ought not to 90.
Then
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Got their fecccs black with SCOT
SO
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Looked more like the wicked goat
Now
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
D'0nt like p goats very WELL
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
knew That goats were sent towel.
Then
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Got their friends to take Il brush;
When
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Were covered DER with whitewash
Now
Uucle Sans
Other lambs
In corruption next will rush;
For
Uncle Sans
Little lambs
Keep ON hand whitewash brusb
Paris is tranquil"-so is the editor of the Nor.
rison Sentinel. Eccc;
We have moved, and are now located in Mo.h-
rr's building. The stove pipe is all "matchcs
our myers are recovering, and We can wear
soft shoe on our bruised toes. Our temper il
as placid as usual, therefore we feel that we can
again receive company. Come in!
Amboy is a big town, and its editors range
over wide field ror local news. The Journal
has the following items at the head of It's "local
column
The Vienna Fair opened May |.
Northern Kansas wheat is good.
young lady Of sixteen who had worn short
dresses all her life positively told her mamma
She would wear them no longer"
The Colony Of Victoria, Australia, has school
houses and likewise local committees of inspec-
lion. That the inspection is intelligent is shown
~ the following report Of one of those officials:
Visited this school and found present - | .
things in orderly manner and to the satisfac.
lion Of all with whom here conyersed with.
on the local comtee visited this
school, and found present % children and 10 MI
appicrence everything goingmg on all writht and |
Nr. -- giyin satisfaction to all parts.
have this day visited the schull, well con |
ccrcted, great Improvement
visited the school, roods vercy hevyy, small
attendance.
Visited the school orrganicasion very mdif |
,crcnt pcns.l- 10 -hort.