The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-04-10
OUR CHIP-BASKET
A good side-show-a pretty cheek.

A thorn lnthe Dush is worth .tWo ln ofe
hand.
The best comforter for bachelors-A good
wife.
How to prevent bad dreams-Don't go
to sleep.
An Essay On Mana woman's attempt to
marry him.
4 bachelor compares a shirt button TO life;
because it hangs by thread.
A Lazy Cook-One that "fritters' away
her time.
."Good blood will show itself" said the
old lady with the red nose.
Good news for husbands--Ladies wear
their dresses longer than they used to do.
What length ought lady's dress to be ?
A little above two feet
"You can't do that again" said the pig 10
the boy who cut off his tail.
Why are good resolutions like fainting
ladies :? Because they want carrying out.
Melancholy suicide-a little boy on being
threatened with a whipping, hang has head.
No man ever got stung by hornets who
kept away from where they were. 1t is just
50 with bad habits.
A little girl wanted fan, but not being
able to remember the word, said she "wanted
a thing to brush the warmth off with"
A popular doctor in Oswcgo gave pre-
scripfion, with directions to take a teaspoon
full every three years. The patient recover
cd :
California housewives describe soda as
shat ere stuff which you put in biscuits to ,
make 'em get up and Grecian bend them
selves"
A writer on physiognomy sagely says: "a
human face without a nose does not amount
to much" 1t is also true that a human
nose without face doesn't amount to much
either.
A great deal of sport has been made of the
old woman who kissed her COW but what
should be said of the thousands of young
women who have kissed great big calves?
A Danbury young nan. out Unemployment
and health, desires to act as substitute for
some pensioner of the war of 1872. No Oh
lection to going into the country.
81 say, boy, is there anything to shoot
about here? enquired a sportsman of boy
"Well,' was the reply, nothing just about
here; but the school master is down the hill
yonder-yOu may pop him over"
Some questions very naturally suggest
themselves to an cnquiring mind. An anna
teur farmer wonders. "why on all this fair
earth, the ground is bottom side up, so that
it mnst be turned over with plow before
crops can be raised" ?"
4 Scotchman who had put up at an inn
was asked in the morning how he had slept
"Ah! mon" replied Donald, mae very
we'll either: but | was muckle better off than
the bugs. for della one o them closed an
e'e the hale nicht."
A Connecticut boy. just learning to read
asked his father what Credit Mobilier was.
ats our national game. my boy" replied the
father, whc was looking ahead you'll be
able to play it when you get big enough and
go to Congress
You don't work hard enough to earn
your salary" said the head of Government
department to one of his clerks. Work
exclaimed the dandy; Il worked hard
enough to get here; surely you don't expect
me to work, now | am here
\ Vermont farmer sent to .an orphan
asylum for boy that was smart; active,
brave, tractabe, prompt, Industrious eean
pious intelligent energetic, good-looking,
reserved and modest The superintendent
wrote back that unfortunately they had only
human boys in that institution.
Henry Clay once accused John Randolph
Of being an aristocrat. In voice whose
shfill, piercing tones penetrated every ear in
the House, Randolph exclaimed !: III man
is known By the company be keeps tie gen
tleman who Just sat down is. more Of ~
aristocrat than I claim to be Gor he spends
most Of the nights in the company Of kings
and queens and knayes." ..
IN Ohio Sch0Ol-maStcr having had &C.
cason to alun:ste. 10 one of his pupils tie
gentle chastisement which forms an essential
feature Of Western education. tie father of
the cuIprit paid 4 yenscfnl visit 10 the
academy during The recess. and-dlrectlns
| his son TO .ock the door OH the out side
went for the pedagogue with chair
which he used in anything but chary man
ner. The only thing Che poor teacher had
to defend himself with was pen-k knife with
blade not more than eight inches long;
but with this insignificant weapon and the
consciousness Of rccti,ude he was enabled to
! 70 en- with his Afternoon classes as soon as
/ the pieces Of his assailant had been swept up
and .t.ken to the hospital IN wheelbauow.
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