Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-04-24

ing enterprises, is now successfully en-
gagged in the whisker cultivation. That
goatee has disappeared, but thick NOUS
tache and luxuriant mutton-chop sidings
beautify his good-natured and cookbook
ing face. 'Come, boys, dry as a powder
horn; it's just about that time O. day, let's
try little sugar and water" Come down
to your old friends, for awhile, and then
We'll have 1.-THE same against the same for
the same"
In the neighborhood of Mount Vernon
Place and Madison street, Baltimore, a
pleasant lenten fashion lately prevailed.
The spring chicken beaux of Baltimore are
not quite all tait unless late in the even
ing they visit the charming bellies freight
ed down with fancy boxes of delectable
fried oysters and t'other fxings. That is
cheerful, young ladies, you are always in
the parlor when such apparitions appear
but, say, are you really always there9
White Plains, in this county, where the
railroad men dine, ought to be called Get
Out And Stop Long. Hungry fellows,
these railroad men. What say you, friend
Bloomer?
Eureka! A man was in Marlborough
once who was rash enough, actually, to re-
turn borrowed umbrella.
People in Marlborough will insist that
Y. M. c. A. don't stand for Young Mems
Christian Association, but for Young Mems
Card Association. Well, Marlborough
ought to know all about it.
Our Republican contemporary has found
out "civilized" method of mending the
public roads. Here it is:
"Mr. Morris ought to take one of the
road supervisors over the road from Salem
to Port Tobacco, and when he comes to
bad place drive fast enough to throw him
out and break his neck. Possibly such
lesson would be benefit to his associates"
In another article he tells supervisors
that he has not spoken unkindly" of them
''as men, but as public officers" Query:
If supervisor Dent should happen to be
thus experimental upon by Mr.. Morris,
would it be his corporal or his official
neck that was broken.
''The stencil man of Port Tobacco
thinks that men with their wits about
them do not wander" anywhere. 1t is
only those who are in search of Greens
who, affected by species of madness form
erly supposed to be Influenced by the moon,
earn title to the distinguished name of
The Wanderer. He processes his willing
ness to exert himself, so far as to make an
attempt to ''straighten himself out" pro-
vided any one has desire ''to ascertain
his exact length - In reply to the asper-
sion chat the man who has never straight
ened himself out" courses" the Road Su-
pervisors whenever he comes to bad piece
of road, he denies that he ever uses "cuss"
words in censuring, for neglect of duty, a
private citizen or public officer.
After much persuasion and repeated as
surance that nobody would hurt them, two
hustled and bustling feminities of the pc
riod entered the cars at Talbert's the other
day, and were funny in their expressions
of surprise that things moved without
horses. One said to the other, too, after
fussy settling down in their seats:
''When we come to hill we don't have
to git out of these cars, do WEI"
The other said:
II don't not know"
What two pretty pictures they would
make for comic almanac
When we were in Marlborough we were
not up among the Modocs exactly, but a
young Modoc from Baltimore swooped
down and captured somebody in whom we
were greatly interested, and who, we are
sure, is not apt to stay captured by that
Baltimore Modoc. Let us know when this
Modoc is himself captured, we want to be
in at the scalping.
Beautiful Bryantown attends to the girl
OF the period.
Judge Wilson, speaking of the editor of
this paper, says Put-In-Bay did it.
That five gallon demijohn of whiskey
which was to have come to some point in
Prince Georges, by the railroad, has not
yet made its appearance. Strange the
truant demijohn should be so often inquir-
ed after by the Sexton of Prince Georges
church.
At Upper Marlborough, during Court,
it is hard to tell the bailifs from the
criminals.
1t may, perhaps, be unbecoming the
modesty of the man of the Times to differ
in opinion with pretty young lady, or at
least to say so, but we really think "Wick-
ed" keeps good drugs, and we know he is
an accomplished mouth-organist.
RELIGIOUS NOTICE.
By Divine permission the Rev. Robt. Smith,
of the NJ E. Church South, will preach at New
town on Sunday, the 9th of April, at lO3 o.
clock a. M, and at the residence of Mr.. Robert
Tucker, on the same day, at 81 G clock p. m.