New-York tribune., 1873-09-04
A HUSBANDS REMORSE.

When we hear of sinner of a husband who
has repented and is not ashamed to advertise
his repentance, reason enough there is for our
making much of him; while if he happens to
reside in Chicago, he must be regarded as
rare and fascinating phenomenon. The world
has 80 long believed that all the shrews In 1T
wear petticoats, that it might doubt the exist
ence of shrew in pantalOOns, IL he did not
vouch for it over his own sign-manual. The
Chicago specimen of this genus, all ladies will
be happy to hear, is exceedingly sick and
sorry. After growing at his break
fast; after flying into spasms of profane
rage in regard to shirt buttons; after
scolding his dame for sitting up for
him and likewise scolding her for going to
bed after auditing with disgusting precise
ness her dry-goods bills, and possibly speak
ing disrespectfully of her beloved mother, this
Chicago man went home one night to dis
cover that she had by flight upset and, as 1T
were, smashed the domestic altar. So far
from being able to grunt at his supper, there
was literally no supper for him to grunt at.
There was the nuptial couch, with pillows for
two where, alas there was only one head to
be accommodated. There was the long night
of lonesomeness before him, with nobody to
snarl at and with no coffee and rolls, good or
bad, in the perspective OF the bright
rosy morning. There were the shirts per-
baps all buttOnless and likely to remain
so, although the next day might be Sunday
Wrath was unavailing; despair sat mocking
among the shivered household gods upon the
desolate hearth stone; and this wretched hus-
band in the bitterness of his lonely soul began
to comprehend that he had been the cunning
architect of his own ruin, and a jackass into
the bargain. What he did during that dreary
and dragging night we are not informed; but
morning found him cOntrite and wilted. Seiz-
ing pen he hastily wrote the following ad-
vertisement for all the world for astonished
husbands and for gggling wives to read In
The CHICAGO Times: "BE IT KNOWN that L
"shamefully treated my wife, and was the
"cause of her leaving me, whereas she was
"good wife. If she will return, l will be all
ga husband can be. WHIT"
We are willing to accept this evidence OF
Mr.. Whit's change of heart, in spite OF the
ambiguity of his concluding phrase. A hus-
band "can be-" as this very person, according
TO his own confession, has shown, an exceed
ingly disagreeable person. husband " can
"ber brute, torment, plague, curse,
nuisance, a botheratiOn, and a chronic calam-
ity. A husband "can be" a spendthrift, a
sluggard, drone, malicious Ounce, and
petty despot. Husbands have been all
these and worse, and so the Chicago sim
ner and penitent may have been. He
acknowledges that he shamefully treated"
Mrs. Whit, and has only himself to thank for
her fight. "Shamefuly treated" is very
suggestive, and not pleasantly suggestive
phrase. Then mark the pathetic acknowledge
ment--" whereas she was q good wife"
There can be no question about it-Whit was
wrong but then Whit is very sorry and
has magnanimously acknowledged it, and If
these lines should meet the eyes OF Mrs.
Whit, we would advise her to return to her
Whit, and silently and without tear to bury
the past, if she has not done SO already.
The world is full of unreasonable husbands,
with here and there, if we may be allowed
to say so, an unreasonable wife; but if there
be any ill-used woman whose "grouty" good
man crowns the ebullitions of his spleen by
threatening to abscond, let her adopt the ex-
pedient of saying with cheerful smile /:
/" / think you had better not; remember Mr..
"Whit, the Chicago bolter, my dearw