The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1873-05-03
SANDY HIGGINS AND THE WIDOW.

For some minutes he sat still, watching
me intently, as if trying to make out
by the sound of my pen what was
writing.
Squire" he said at length, "did [
ever tell you about my scrape with the
widow Horny up here on the riverw
Never did" said I, laying down my
pen; "let's have it,"
"They're curious creatures, widows
is," said he in meditative tone, "and
the more you study about 'em the more
you don't know anything about 'em'
What was this thing I've read about in
Egypt, or some other country, that no.
body could unriddle?"
THE Sphinx, probably" I replied.
"Well," continued he, that was
Everything else in the earth has been
found out but them, and they're as
much mystery to-day as the length of
the North Pole. You may read the
history of the world from Genesis to
Revelations, and you'll find that widows
have been at the bottom Or top of FIVE
quarters of all the devilment that has
ever been cut up. Was you ever in
love with one 2"
"Lots of tkem," said I.
You're a great gander-that's what
you are" said he. IA man that loves
one and gets over it won't never get bit
by another, if he's got as much sense as
ground hog. don't consider that I've
got any sense at all, but I'm little too
smart to let another of them get all the
trumps on me. The widow Horny that
was speaking OF is little the hand
somest woman, | reckon, that ever
looked a man into fits, and / ought to
be judge, for I've seen lots of pretty
women in my day. She was about
to work, Just in the bloom of her beauty,
and as full of deviltry as a three-year
old mile colt There was a ball over at
Jenkins and of course [ went, for | al
| ways go where there's any fun going
on, and generally act the fool before
l get away. Of course the widow was
there, dressed as SOlomOn's lilies, and
flying around as frisky as a young lamb
| in rye patch. [ got introduced to her
and asked her to dance with me, and
| when she flashed her eyes at me and
said YES | jumped up like I had sat
down on a hot griddle. You may talk
about sensation, but when she took
hold of my hand and I sorter squeezed
| it, felt a sensation as big as load of
| wood, and it kept running up and down
my back like a squirrel with a hawk
after him. Pm very fond Of dancing,
| but I'll be hanged if I knew whether I
enjoyed it that night or not, for every
time she took hold of my hand I'd CON-
mence feeling curious behind my ears
and up and down my back again, and
then | wouldn't know whether | was
on earth or in balloon, or on a comet,
| anything about it. 1t was undoubtedly
a case of love at first sight, and power
full bad case at that. For a wonder I
got through the frOlic without making
conspicuous or cutting up any extras,
as am in the habit of doing when go
| into public. I'd set my pegs to go home
| with the widow after the ball, but just
as was fixing my mouth to ask her, up
steps q big, long, leather-faced doctor
named Mabry, and walked her off be-
| fore my eyes.
That riled me some, but I kept my
| tongue still, inwardly swearing to break
his bones the very first opportunity that
presented itself. I saw there was no
use in saying anything, so went home
and went to bed, and all the rest of the
night was dreaming about rainboWs,
angels, butterflies, fiddles, widows and
doctors, mixed up worse than a Dutch
mans dinner.
We'll, Squire, to make short story
of it, made UP my mind to have the
widow, or kill myself or somebody else.
$50 I made it convenient to be on
hand where she was, upon all occasions.
| I couldn't eat nor sleep nor work, and
il the thing had held on, I wouldn't
have sense enough to skin a rabbit
But was determined it shouldn't last
long, for I'd been fooled so often by
women that I thought wouldn't give
her time to think of anything but me.
She appeared to take me right sharply,
and the doctor seemed to mixS in with
me, but | didn't consider him much
more than brush fence, for I was sc
far gone thought she could see nobody
on earth but me. Well, Squire, things
went ON so for about month, and on
Sunday / screwed up my spunk and
put the question to her. She sOrte1
laughed and sorter looked one sided
and finally told me she couldn't give
me an answer just then, but if I'd call
at her house next Thursday evening
she'd give me final answer. Thinks
/ I, you're mine just as sure as there's
fiddler below. Whenever woman
takes time to study she'll say yes
Squire, don't the poets, say something
about the calculation of men and rats
4
"Mice and men, Burns says" an,
swered.
"Wel1, mice and rats is all one, anG
so lis men and fools sometimes, as
have found out in my travels. / was sc
| sure she would have me that went of
and spent all my money for fine clothes
thinking would have them ready fol
the wedding-and / did! COnfound
that widow, say Confound all wild
ows! Thursday evening came at last
although it was O. long time about it
and over went, dressed into fits anC
feeling as big as Jake Ehrhardt did Whel
he was elected Coroner. | got therl
about dark and found q right smar
crowd collected, which was not on thG
bills, but / felt as big and as good al
the rest of 'em. So / marched in ik.
blind mule into potato patch, an(
took my seat by the fire. I didn't SCI
anything Of the widow, but kept look
! ing for her to come in and send for me
and passed away the. time .cussin' ths
.. . crowd to myself, thinking they had nj
business there, and would not get II
door opened and in walked Polly ant
: the dad-burned doctor and a whole
!. team of boys and girls fixed up savage
", I tell you. I looked around for j;
fiddler, thinking they were about Il
have ball, but I wondered what the,
4 all kept so still for, and was about pro
posinf a reel, when up gets little nrea
cher, and before you could swallow
: live oyster he had Polly and the docto
J married faster than Mexican grease
could tie bulls horns. / was so com
Dletely flu1nmuxed that ] sat there witt
my mouth open like I was going t.