Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-11-03

There are just two oranges of the
Husbands of Patrony in the granite
state.
The North Carolina chestnut and pea
nut crops are plentiful. The tar-heels
are happy.
A San Francisco baby of twenty
months, can puff cigar smoke nearly as
well as his daddy.
A son and daughter of the famous
Davy Crockett, are said to be living at
Acton, Hood county, Texas.
A North Carolina editor is named
Stamps, the very thing of which be sees
the least.
Galveston wants Congress to clean out
its bar. Congress cleans out lots of
bars every year.
Jersey City issues 500 licenses for 500
rum-shop juceries-way stations on the
broad gage route TO hell.
Sea- bathing has been unusually pop
ular at Santa Cruz. often as many as
a hundred playing mermaid at the same
time.
A niger barber has suddenly disap-
peared from Alexandria. Va. Look out
for new Radical candidate in Missis-
sippi. says Southern paper.
A deranged woman at Marquette.
Mich. jumped from the second story of
hotel a-straddle picket fence, and
was fatally wounded.
A Main mechanic on Moosehead Lake
has lived for ten years, in the summer
time in dry goods box. and in the win
ter in an empty hogshead.
Wilkie Collins has fifteen hundred
applications to read in this country. He
is doing over his stunning drama. 1.-The
Dream Woman to suit our snobs and
snobesses.
A soldier mailed letter at Falmouth,
Va, in 1868. which has just arrived at
its destina ation,-Tewiston, Pa ten
years after date. Bully for the post-of.
flee department.
Mrs. Jenkins complained in the even.
ing that the turkey she had eaten didn't
set well. "Probably." said Jenkins
''it was not hen turkey He got a
glass of water in his face
A lawyer once asked Dutchman con
cerning pig in court: "What ear.
marks had he 2" Well. ven | first be.
came acquainted nit the hook, he had
no marks except very short tail "
George Francis Tram will not return
to America until the country has beer
purified. Forty millions of sufferers
would be happy. if they could only be
lieve him in earnest.
PA. didn't hear you say the othe
day you wanted cider press ?" "Yes
daughter. where can get one? ?" "Wh,
You try Zeke Stokes; he hugged me tn,
other evening at the party, an tell 20,
he made me grunt.
A Minnesota editor has been mulchet
five cents in libel suit. The Jury ex
planned that they would have raised i
to ten, if they had supposed that amour
wouldn't have caused the suspension o
the paper.
Here is the latest description of a kiss
floating about without credit: 'Twa
night. A real warm couple stood in tn
pale, cold moonbeams. Their lips touch
ed, and there was a sound like co,
hauling her hoof out of the mud.
"Halloo Bill p cried boct-black t
a companion, "heard yer dad had brok
] his leg" HE did that - replied th
s.shiner" addressed. .'and wasn't it bull
for me. though! He was going to wo
lop me that very night"
An old maid was wont to console he
self for her disappointments in the ma
rimonial line by the following reflection
'If she had been married, and had
baby, and the poor thing CHAD crawle
into the over and burnt itself to dealt
what horrible thing it would ha,
been p
Charles: "rell me. Laura, why th
\ sadness? Tell me why that look
care? Why has fled that look of gla
ness that thy face was won't to wear
Laura: Charles. It's useless to disser
bic; we'll my face may wear frow
/. for I've lost my largest hair pin, al