Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-03-20
Feet VS.. Feeling.

ONE of the most irritating, temper
spelling conflicts into which fashion
pushes poor civilized men and women, is,
l have lately discovered, that which
RACES between the feet and the feelings.
The opinion seems to be very well set
tied that small feet are handsomer than
| large ones. OF course, we are not yet de-
based to the Chinese standard, but only
| tending toward it, so that those individ-
uals who have naturally the smallest feet
| in proportion to their size and stature
are esteemed fortunate. Perhaps no fault
can be found with this opinion in point
of artistic taste At any rate fashion has
asserted it as a maxim, and that is sufllc-
.ent for our present purpose, for just here
comes in the difficulty Those unfortu-
nate humans who, on arriving at years OF
indiscretion, are dissatisfied with the size
of their pedal eXtremities, incontinenty
fall back on that hoary artitice of fool
| ish world which persuades them that even
| if their feet are not small, the defect may
be partly overcome by making them look
small, by some device. This device con-
stitutes, nowadays, the shoemaker's art
and mystery, which art, in this view OF
the matter, may be said to have made
| great strides.
If you order pair of boots l can de-
scribe your experience beforehand. You
go and have your measure taken. Moth
! ing easier. The man of the bench IS
anxious to please, and has the most per
feet confidence. You explain to him
that, your feet being little tender, you
desire an easy fit. ooh, certainly! Of
course" and down 60 the figures. After
a reasonable time you call for the boots
They are finished and look handsome
enough. At the shoemaker's suggestion
you try them on; or, to speak more ex-
actly, you try them part way on. Then
you are compelled to back off until the
| obliging shoemaker who takes all this as
matter of course, has daubed your
stockings with pulverized soapstone or
something similar, and handed you pair
| of boot hooks, over which you bow your
self, lifting until you are very red in the
face. The man of leather, who knows
his part, meanwhile gets on his knees,
and further assists by rubbing vigorously
up on the instep and directing
your toes, until at length you
by your poor heels slipping inside
the counter Then with two or three
vigorous stamps the boot is on! The
shoemaker, in positive glee, rubs it a little
more TO make sure there is no wrinkle,
then steps back, casts an admiring gaze,
and assures you all is right. The boots
are splendid fit" like glove;" like
a ducks foot in the mud" "Jaumet's best
French uppers, and oak-tanned soles;"
"after they are broke in they will be easy,
and such fit" (After they are 'broke
in,' mind you.)
Your foot, as it protrudes from your
trowsers, does certainly appear much
daintier than usual, and although the joints
of your toes show through Jaumet's
best uppers like little knuckles, your feel
ings are immensely tickled thereby. I'm
willing to remove so elegant a fit, or
doubling your ability to put them on
again unaided, you decide to wear them
home, thus getting them partly "broke
in" SO you wrap the old pair in piece
of brown paper and take your departure
indulging in pleasant fancies of the
effect such dainty leather must have on
the susceptibilities of Maria Jane.
But before you reach home your feel
ings have had their day and your feet be-
gin to assert themselves. You discover
that they ache badly, and in fact, are
partly benumbed, so that they feel like
wooden feet, or like tooth which the
dentist has "wedged" This intcnsities
each minute, and when you finally limp
into your own friendly room, the "fine"
boots come off in hurry and go slam IN
to the closet. They flattered your
feelings, but oh ! how they hurt your
feet
After dozen or more such experiences
you begin to philosophize upon the mat
ter, and end by uttering the following
aphorisms;
/. Never "break in" boots or shoes. If
they are not easy when new, don't take
them; for the boots will break your
feet oftener than your feet will break the
boots.
g. If you go on breaking in" boot
leather, you will need a special last, made
with all sorts Of knobs and protuberances
to correspond with your distorted joints.
Then you will be sorry,
g. If you have large feet admit it in all
honesty, and have your boots made &C =
cordingly. Then you will be happy
Cor. Oneida Circu5ar.