, 1873-06-22

! -.stp foTk Graphic.
= HUMoR.
,, Sweet Home-A beehive.
: ,o-..1 ,L.Ar. Bailey, OF Danbnry, says: II do 10,
Ah nahs e5ehange says; Some men arc born fol
"but they don't al come up to the scratch 's''
. -Qnery-Can q geological Clergyman with .
collection OF ores, etc., bo called cabinet
minister2
An Iowa paper remarks that IS Our roaasrs
needn't tzy to get aay points out Of our political
articles; re put 'em in this wsek because our
patent medicine stereotypes have been mis-
"A young lady in Green7ille, Tenn, recant,v
presented her lover With an elaborstely con-
structed pen-wiper, and was aatonished. The fo!-
lowing Sunday, to see him wearing it ss a craTat.
"A pretentious hypocTite who was in the hahit
OF praying 30 yociferously that bis nsiehborg
and persons passing in the street could hear
him, was quietly informed by his pastor, one
day, that If '.he would get 9 lttle nearer ta
| God, he wouldn't have to pray 30 loud,''
The Descent Of Man.-Figurative party !.
30 long as / am man, sorr, what does il
matter to me whether me great-grandfather wst
an anthropoid ape or not, sorr?" Literal party :
"Hsw, Washer djsagweeab1e for you- gnate-
| grandmother, wasn't it ?"
The boy with the big watch said time huna
heavy on bis hands.
| -1He flelAlea pu11leQ. AlcnplsQop OF Cnn.
terbury-"H Il know how to deal with the qucs.
tion, may be-ahem !-disestabIshed! !" Arch
bishop Of York-'sIf know what to BAY in the
matter, may be-ahem !-disendoued
| Punch
| OF certain popular dramatic reader. r.
marks the Hornet. it may be- said that he b
man OF color, for his eyes arc black, his gloyea
are mauTe, his manner ready" bis hair White.
| and his name Bel-lue.
! She Suited lady recently applied at ,
/ life inHuranca c0rnr,Anv for a n1aiti0n eo .r.e4
! When asked what her qualifications were aha
touched her unbluahing cheek.
Fast young men declare that the great
beauty Of an ocean voyage is " that yon can rel
| only sea-sick-
| -Rasper, being told he looked seedy. and
| asked what business he was in, replied, "Iaa
hard-we business look at my wardrobe /"
A sagacous papa exceedingly mortified his
daughter by ordering to bo printed on her We'd
ding cards, ~ No presents except those adcpte3
to IN income Of 81, $780,"
One OF the soldiers sent against tho Modoca
received letter from his sister containing tia
following beautiful and touching sentiment.
And II anything should happen to you, do
make some arrangement to have your hair re-
covered and sent on. 1t is the exact color at
mine, and can't get pair OF curls Of tha right
shade anywhere here"
The khiva E1pedition.-Onr Correspondent
telegraphs us striking instance Of the difrar-
ence in the domestic habits Of the East md
West. Here, the Queen and every woman ia
England is wont to keep hot :yater in a can :.
there, the Car and all his court;ers deliabs M M i
keeping the Khan in hot water.--LoHdo1 Judy-
"a Partisan musical directory defines sho1t
to be - an unpleasant noise produced by over
stln'ning the throat for which great singers ara
we'll paid and small Children well punished"
A dealer in hair goods heada his advertise
ment n IN the local newspapers with this ta1eaty
Of Dr.. Watts:
How vain arc all things here below--
How false and yet how fair
But II for false things you will go,
Invest 1T once in hair
sewing g-machine recently, as be always soTn1
Wheat BY hand" He il related to the man who
did not want threshing-machine on his farm
for, said be give me harness-tug or bn.
mark according to law and Scripter. u"
-, What are you about, my deara' said
grandmother to little boy. who Was idinp
about the room and casting furtive glances ats
gentleman who was paying a visit. II am try-
ing, grandma, to steal papa's hat out OF tbs
room without letting the gentleman see it, fo,
papa wants him to think he's ont"
a farmer and his wife called at Det1oi3
Photograph gallery last week to order some pho
t6graphs Of her, and while the operator was get-
vice as to how she must act 'Fasten your
mind on something" he said, ts or else yonT
laugh. and sp4le the job. Think about early /:
Stbs aay5 how your ea fathef got u iii and {out
been If hadn't pitied you. Jest fasten yona i
mind on to that!' She didn't hare any photo- !
graphs taken. I
"A young lady in Nashville is changing her ;
Tlews somewhat relative to the question Of mat~ :
Timony. She says that when abe "camo out"
IN society she determined that aha would not
marry man unless he WAS an Episcopalian-
Time passed on and she did not get married, and ,
then modified her views and concluded sha ;
would marry no man who WAS not 8 Christian.
That young lady Is still unmarried, and Bsys non
that all she is looking for is man that don't
drink whisky.
Yesterday We overheard 3 couple Of hons-
made sayans discussing the cause Of the saline
character of the water in Great Salt I.sts. "
Said one: swell, it's my opinion that thereas N .
underground connection with tho Pseita !;
Ocean, and it's filed with water from the Pacific
tho tho aes 9taeF What % yoa aits snk
',1hink Of it! why. I think it bursts my theory
all to h-l"-Eureka (Nerada) Sentinel.
The Danhury Nescs man, now in San tlsa-
cisco, does not like the California style Of max.
ing change, and asks il tits customary theirs "to
dollar"
Emulation alaud-rve had whooping-.
cough! Ethel-Oh, that's nothing Why, I've
hid S TfrT's rtha 3{ter 1snss rTs I'D ssn
French T.! Collapse Of Maud = Punch: /:
-1nqufsitive Freshman to 3 Senior-Wters
DO the FACULTY get "shoep-skins for Seniors 10 .,
TO carry oil at commencement? BenloT-lhey !:
ill Frenchmen. Franchnoan walks OF, wonder T.
ng whether he has learned why so many H5c /
sntor College fail to graduate. e.-Raruard Adpo. /
.ae. i;
a Legal Point.-A jury once returned into {
'ourt In order that ona Of their number might f
% instructed upon the following point OF In: !;
8 II believe that the evidence is one way, aud
be other eleven believe different, does ttit
ustify any other iuryman in knocking NE down
nth chair?"
1T is startling fact in natural history tbi
hi1dren who are perfect little lambs" uzuAl3
row up to be mutton-heais."
During the warm weather the priucipaloc oc
upation Of the s'girl OF the period" seems to
% sitting on the stoop waiting for the "conins
lau."
=" Is there any one here who takes e7re-
ions to the rulings Of this court" saida SeTsds
ustice, putting six-shooter On the table, Thar
gasnt one.