The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-11-19

Clsqntetli1g
maj RAILROAD CAR.

AMau Who Tried TO Make Himself
interesting to Several People and
Failed. Hr Z
Iuot into the cars and took a seat iu
;urtsposition to q female. The females
he was a perfect insurance company for
her-jt insured her against ever getting
married, except 10 Il blind man. Her
month looked like crack In a dried lem
on and there was no more expression
than there Is In q cup Of cold custard
She appeared as though she had been
through one famine and about two-thirds
through another. She was Old enough to
be,hcrreat grandmother Of Mary that had
,heli,tle lamb. She was chewing prize pop
corn, and was carrying in her had o yell
low rose, while a bandbox and cotton
umbrella nestled sweetly by her side. l
couldn't guess whether she was mission
Of charity, or was going west to start q
sawmill. was full OF curiosity to hear
her speak, so lsaid: r.
The exigencies Of tho times require
crcumspection in person who Is trav-
cling. ... lr
sAysshe, What?
Says l, The orb Of day shines resplend-
ent In The vault above.
She hitched around uneasy like, then
she raised ner umbrella and said, | don't
wan, any moro Of your sass-git out, and
lgOt out.
Then took scat along side a male
fellow, who looked like the ghost OF Ham
let strained out. He was stately cuss
snd ho was reading
Said !, Mister did you ever see camel
Jeopardy l said camel leopard because it
il d pious animal, and never eats grass
without getting down on its knees
He said he hadn't seen a camel leopard.
said ], Do you chew
He said, No sir.
said, How sweet is nature!
He took this for q conundrum. and said
be didn't know. Then he said he was
greatly interested in the history OF q great
man. Alas he exclaimed, We are but
few. so.
Then he asked, would read?
Says !, what have you got!
He replied, Watts Hymns, Reveries by
Moonlight, and How to Spend the Sab
bath
said none Of them Tor Hannah, but !
he had an unabridged business dictionary
of New York city, / would take little
read,
Then he said, Young man look at the'e
gray hairs.
told him l saw them, and when o man
got as old as he was he ought 10 dye:
Said !, you needn't think those hairs
are any sign Of wisdom it's only q sign
that your system lacks iron, and l advise
you 10 20 home and swallow q crowbar
lie took this for irony, and what little
entente cordiale there was between US was
spoiled. 1t turned out that he was chap
lain of Il base ball club.
When we got TO Rochester called fol-
sbOwl Of bean soup. ! send you the re-
ceipt Tor making It:
Take lot OF water, wash II well, and
boil II until II Is brown on both sides; thel
carefully pour one bean into 1t and lot !
simmer. When the bean begins 10 sc
restless sweeten 1t with salt, then put
up into alright cans, hitch each can 10
brick, and chuck them overheard, and tn
soup is done.
The above receipt originated with
man In Iowa, who got up suppers on ode
occasions for odd Fellows. He has
receipt for oyster soup, leaving out the salt
Speaking OF Iowa reminds me Of thu
way | go. the money TO pay for my ticke
and pay Tor that fellows supper. I'bet {
fellow that | could tell him how much
water tG quart went under the RAILROAD
bridge over the Mississippi at Dubuque II
ayear. lie bet, and l said two pints TO
quart lwon the bet; but, after all, th
supper was an awful swindle. lfthat cit,
didn't settle faster than It's coffee did, II
90 settlers club would be failure, ant
The city, too.