Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-08-13
BREVITIES.
BEST SIZE FOR A MAN--Exercise.



MAINE has a hop patch of eighty acres,
CAN tailor's child be said to die of
steer neglect? -
WHEN man is dead, and can't, we
read his words, 81 will" &c.
LIVERPOOL, Ohio, settled in 1899, has
never lostsa building by fire. y ! {
IT is never proper to stone your neigh
Dor, but you may rock his baby.
A Com dated 1864 is the historical
.pocketpiece of a lady at Rhinebeck, N.
7.
WHAT God gives men as stepping
stones, they often make into stumbling
blocks. A' <gt
heavy remember you have not far to
carry it.
THERE is nothing that so refines the
face and mind as the presence of great
thoughts.
GovERNEss to pupil: Where does tea
come from? Naughty little boy: Out of
the teapot
The sale of the Minnehaha lands.
Minnesota, realized over $4,000 There
were 5000 acres.
A LEAvENwoRTH stationer was asked
the other day if he had "any overalls for
letters" He had
If you are short of ice during the warm
weather, you can always get nice carte
at the photographers
A HoBoKEN editor being challenged,
sent word in reply: "When | want to die,
l can shoot myself"
A LATELY married couple came near
separating on account of a squabble over
their wedding presents.
THE SdratogSan says that not one per-
son in fifteen who comes to Saratoga
drinks Of the spring water.
ELEVEN Baptist converts have been
in prison in Kew, Russia, for almost a
year, on account of their faith.
AT concert the other day one of the
vocalists found her voice thick; she
strained it, but without good effect.
IT takes twenty-five cents worth of ice
spelling until dinner time in Texas.
OCEAN shells don't murmur. A New
York man says that it is only such sound
as one can hear by placing the mouth of a
jug to his ear.
ANup-town young lady, speaking of one
of her aversions, said the severest thing
on record, "He's almost perfect brute
he only lacks instinct"
A Young man recently popped the
question in a new Kentucky Court House,
and now boasts of having held the first
"court" in the building.
Gas sOCIABLE as batch of candidates
two weeks before election" is the latest
way Of expressing the fact that man is
good-natured and pleasant.
A BosToN jeweler has on exhibition
what he claims to be the largest diamond
in the United States. 1t weighs thirty-two
carats, and has a yellow tinge.
AN enterprising dog in Utica secured
samples from the clothing Of eight light
ning-rod agents within half an hour after
a thunder storm the other day.
A HUSBAND and wife recently set sail
from Derby for Glasgow, Scotland, on the
way to Edinburgh, the wife having on
her knee her thirty third baby.
THE st. Louis Democrat says that city
invested over 100000 in the Louisville
library lottery, and not one-tenth Of that
sum was drawn by ticketholders
AN animal known as the Iatouay, a
hlI1l VI al udulIO, UCCu ulSCONtICu
near the battle ground below Vancouver.
A You've lady at Portland, Oregon, re-
Gently broke her engagement because her
lover, while taking her to ride, quarreled
with gatekeeper over the amount of toll.
A DETROIT man was masquerading on
the streets as a genuine Modoc, and was
ducked by a party Of patriotic newsboys
intent upon avenging the Candy murder.
THE grange has reached Vermont. The
Ethan Allen Grange of the Patrons of
Husbandry is the name of the first one,
organized in Milton, Chittenden County.
ACCORDING to the last market reports,
cheese is strong and active" We feared
as much. According to the same reports,
whisky is going down." We should say
it was
JACOB G. LARGE was shot, scalped, and
left for dead by Indians, in Western Kan
sas, some months ago. He arrived in
Leavenworth recently, on his way to his
former home in Minnesota.
WHEN Shakespeare wrote about pa
thence on monument, did he refer to
doctors patients No. How do you
know he did not? Because you always
find them under a monument.
Four toy balloons, tied together, were
sent up at Peoria on the Fourth and
landed in Mackville, one hundred miles
away. They were identified by the cards
Of the owners attached to them.
SUCCESSFUL cattle breeders in Europe
give molasses constantly to fatten cattle
and mich COWS. A large German farmer
gives pint day mixed with oil-cake to
his cows, largely increasing their milk.
WE are told Of gentleman in this sec
ton who, though only twenty eight years
Of age, recently married his fourth wife.
The three previous ones died, each leav-
ing two children.-CoIunabus (Ga.) San.
A TRAVELLER in Wales, seeing a sign
over the door with this one word,
"Agorsequr dere," asked the woman what
she sold, when she said she did not sell
anything, but that leagues was cured
here"
RATHER NICE-Algernon Elthelred-
"What do you think of my new portrait?
They have made me precious ugly,
haven't they?" Constantine Lavinia-
eyes, they have, very; but it is asplendid
likeness. "-Punch.
WHEN a crowd Of jayhawkers started
disturbance in Texas church, the other
day, the preacher raised up shotgun and
said: civilian DellO, sit down, or III