davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
A Little Fun with Hopkins.

SOME years ago new fire company was
organized at Reading, and the members
one evening thought they would have a
little innocent fun at the expense of Hop
kins, their President. They decided to
rush round with the engine to Hopkins
house after dark, to throw up their lad
ders, pull out their hose, climb on his
roof, and scare him with the belief that his
dwelling was on fire. But that very day
Hopkins moved out of the house and a
Presbyterian clergyman moved in, without
the company being aware of the change
So about eight o'clock the humorists dash
ed out, and went through all the move
ments, getting on the roof and splashing
water around, and creating a terrible dis
turbance generally. A rival company,
noticing what was going on, also hurried
to the scene, and, without understanding
the joke, attached their hose to plug,
smashed in the front window, and began
to empty two-inch stream on the family
of that Presbyterian clergyman. They
squirted into all the rooms, split up tn
window-shutters with an ak, broke
down the front door, ran out the furniture,
tore off the shingles and bawled through
trumpets until the hired girl had convul-
sions on the kitchen stairs. The first
company tried to explain, but the new
corners thought an effort was beng made
to get them out of the way, and fight en-
sued, and presently firemen were sliding
off the roof, and pelting down the Chin
ney, and bleeding over the entry carpet,
and having bOisterOus encounters with
spanners and brass horns on the stairs.
And the next morning that Presbyterian
divine and his family moved out They
said the place seemed to be too animated
and sensational for a quiet, domestic cir
cle They wanted a house where there
was more calnness and peace; where they
could have more security fer their privacy
and pianos, and for their front doors and
shin giles and peace of mind and window
sashes.-Mar Adeler, In Philadelphia Satur-
dag Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

field But the hedgehog ran about three
steps, and then ducked down in THE furrow
and sat still. e.. ..s.e<sz,,. Is -
When the hare, on the full bound, came
to the lower end of the field, the hedge
hogs wife called out to him, "I'm here
alreadv!" The hare started, and won
dered not little; he thought no other
wise than that it was the hedgehog him.
self that ran out to meet him, for, as
every one knows, the hedgehog's wife
looks just like her husband.
But the hare thought: There's some
thing wrong about all this! Another
race! AT it again! And away he went
like storm-wind, SO that his ears lay flat
on his head. But the hedgehog's wife
stayed quietly in her place. When the
hare came to the upper end the hedgehog
called out to him, I'm here already"
But the hare, beside himself with rage,
cried Another race! At it again"
''I'm quite willing," answered the
hedgehog, lust as often as thou llkest."
SO the hare ran three and seventy times,
and the hedgehog held out to the very
end with him. Every time the hare came
either below or above, the hedgehog or
his wife said, I'm here already"
But the four and SEVENTEEN time the
hare came no more to the end. In the
middle of the field he fell to the earth and
lay dead upon the spot. . .--
So the hedgehog took the louis dor and
the bottle of brandy he had won, called
his wife out of the furrow, and both went
home together; and if they have not died
they are still living. So happened it that
on the Buxtehude heath the hedgehog ran
the hare to death, and since that time no
hare has ever dreamed of running race
with Buxtehude hedgehog. 81 -
But the moral of this story is, first, that
no one, however high and mighty he may
think. himself, shall let it happen to him
to make merry over an humble man, even
if he be hedgehog; and secondly, that it
is advisable, when one marries, that he
take wife out of his own condition, and
who looks just like himself He therefore
that is a hedgehog must look to it that his
wife is also hog; and so forth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
CALDWELL OF SPRINGFIELD.
new JERSEY. .s1BO.)

new JERSEY. sd7S0) ss~ sse1s
HERE'S the spot Look around you. Above on the
Lay the Hessians encamped. By that church on
the right
Stood the gsunt Jersey farmers. And here ran
You may dig anywhere and you'll dig up a ball.
Nothing more. Grasses spring, waters run, flowers
Pretty much as they did ninety three years ago.
Nothing more did says Stay one moment;
you've heard
OF Caldwell, the parson, who once preached the
Down at springfelds What, Nor Come-that's
All the Jerseys afamel And they gave him the
&
OF the rebel high priest" He stuck in their
For he loved the Lord God and he hated King
George!
He had cause, you might sayi When the Hessians
Marched up with Knyphausen they stopped on
AT the Farms, where his wife with child in her
arms,
Sat alone in the house How 1t happened none
knew
But God-and that one of the hireing crew
Who fired the shotl Enough!-there she lay
And Caldwell, the chaplain, her husband, awayi
Did he preach-did he pray9 Think Of him you
stand
BY the old church to-day; think of him and that
OF militant plowboysl See the smoke and the
OF that reckless ADVANCED that struggling
treat!
Keep the ghost of that wife, foully slain, in your
view
And what could yec-what should you, what would
you do?
Why, Just what he didi They were left in the
urCh
For the want of more wadding. He to the
church,
Broke the door. stripped the pews, and dashed out
in the road =
With his arms full of hymn books, and threw down
his load
At their feetl Then, above all the shouting and
shots,
Rang his voce-'sPut Watts into em-Boys, give
em Watts"
And they did That is all. Grasses spring, flowers
blow
Pretty much as they did ninety three years ago.
You may dig anywhere and you'll turn up ball
But not Away a hero like ths-and that's all.
-Brete HGrte. IN NJ Y. Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

THE MOST THOROUGH PURTFiEs " 1
BLOOD YET DISCOVERED
CURES ALL HUMORS, FRol - :. /
ERUPTION TO TIE WOR>l NV
BY its use Cancers are eH'''
Cancerous tumors are dlspersel WIZ ia. r. /
peon's knife-Scrofula conqaeFe4 jill i I
ton prevented and cured. -
Venereal Diseases, NeItl'.15 =. =,
al Poisons, and their effects eraals',', ,y Il
GUS health and a sound c0nstI'li!,- niss
Female weakness. aaa ~ y,
Dropsy general or partial; S% SVEN - $
internal; and Tumors are reQ-V'e '--
ia very short time. c.,r Fs
Erysipelas. Salt KhFn"''t,, ~ M. u
Fever Sores are soon removed u
detergent medicine ,.,drpf.
Scorbutic Diseases, Da ai's'r IN
or Rough Skin, and PlmpIg' = I'M"
leaving the skin smooth ana id-. 81 n
Chronic Diseases, + ', ,,,,s Ii y
ordered Liver. Dyspepsia. Rhr!.-l ..y !
Affections. General Debility, ID H.
numerous diseases caused " 2,' mo-: 4
ouered. and give way oe.or g, yli
sorrector the King of the blG". ,,r,s-
Each bottle contains Df,g ors
fftv ordinary doses costing o.. y hatts
Erom one TO four or ti B',' u" 4 {
cure Salt Rheum scald Head Head j. ~ F--rgq
pies on the Face, Bi!es, Gfe.";a 81
Eac.sl EWro u - 90, ,clrs y
Scalv Eruptions Of the S cHl,ocF Frst|
Canker in the Mouth and si ,a,,,e. u |
From two TO te" Dc a"s SpIsss
healthy action to the LIVER iys,or r'' 4
uia Fr .,,n Two TWO to six bottles &c g Is
effectaal in curing NeuralslA' "'
Vitus' Dance. and EplleplE bot.le.
II From rom five five o 70 ser"fnIa. ,.t,I.
'hs T woln, 'a three to twelve e, ~ ~
cure severe and obstinate ntso sI
From two to four r. pca Losg
"i From two TO ten '0
oa Price rice 81 per bottles
Sold by all Druggists RI prgfs
D. RANSoh' Sun ~ Brf%
column. n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
In frances.

AN article in the Popular Science Month
ly recalls these instances of escape from
burial alive: "On the 18th of October,
1912, a farmer in the neighborhood of
Neufchatel, in the Lower Seine climbed
into loft over his barn to sleep, as he
usually did, among the hay. Early the
next day, his customary hour of rising
being past, his wife, wishing to know the
cause of his delay, went to look for him,
and found him dead At the time of in
terment, more than twenty-four hours
after, the bearers placed the body in
coffin, which was closed, and carried it
slowly down the ladder by which they
had gained the loft. Suddenly one of the
rounds of the ladder snapped, and the
bearers fell together with the coffin which
burst open with the shock. The accident,
which might have been fatal to a live man,
was very serviceable to the dead one, who
was reused from his lethargy by the con-
cussion, returned to life, and fastened to
get out of his shroud with the assistance
of those of the bystanders who had not
been frightened away by his sudden resur-
rection. An hour later he could recog-
niZe his friends, and felt no uneasiness
except slight confusion in his head, and
the next day was able to 90 to work again.
At about the same time a resident of
Nantes gave up life after a long illness.
His heirs made arrangements for grand
funeral, and while the performance of
requiem was going on, the dead man re-
turned to life and stirred in the coffin,
that stood in the middle of the church.
When carried home, he soon regained his
health. Some time afterward, the cure,
not caring to be at the trouble of the buri-
al ceremonies for nothing, sent bill to
the ex-corpse, who declined to pay it, and
referred the cure to the heirs who had
given orders for the funeral A lawsuit
followed, with which the papers of the
day kept the public greatly amused A
few years ago, Cardinal Bonnet, in the
Senate, told his own story of the circum-
stances under which he narrowly escaped
being buried alive
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
SCHENcKS hANDH~

These PHI, ar; ,g;12s@sss :;;'5al Is y
ISL Isl: : :$::a 4 ;$::55 /; s; 81
R F15Rsi si a9G 35ss.
td Sd free ss' 1'f 5S Of : si DFasss' Sid
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
JULY Coupons and DNaa

is called to this favorable opp0rIu-T
these bonds.
As the bonds of this Issue are Tsts rs
payment of the Company's land aj l.la Z
constant and increasing demand fF;a.E
will continue to be after the loan II :
which much enhances their value all Ga1'
as an investment.
The Company has more than 5HIaslI
built and in operation, lnciE aE t2e'--.'
Division. connecting Lake NAft- y !.
ton of the Missouri River; Il ia, 90
nearly Ten Million Acres Of IT, lsI. ~.
Of lands have thus far averaged $i65 'SF
All marketable securities are Fece-'4 :
for Northern PaCiflcs. oo,-r
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

A STRANGE CORRESPONDENCE egu-
larly every two weeks, for the past six
years, letter has been received at the
Post-office in Manchester, n H., address
cd to Dr. -, evidently by the same
hand. The caligraphy is good, and is
evidently that OF lady. The name is
entered on the list, time after time, and
no one has ever claimed one of them.
After lying at the office the time specified
by law, the letters are sent, one after the
other, to the Dead-Lette Office. at Wash
ington. On one occasion one of the let
tiers was returned from the Dead 7 letter
once, because it contained some trife of
lace, which the department was DESTROYS
should be returned to the writer. The
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31
NaIa.,.

Dull, heavy baoao, " 'atarb.
fhi1 mes prof6 dlse1ssss falling os' 5'S
n nloooy, putrid, offensive a,, qQcp@.
ness? dry, watery, WEAK "a &C, IHo IT,.
ringing in ears, deafpessa N or il6se2
ing TO clear throat. nI, hawking Il
ulcers, voice altered ' r''t =.
breath, impaired smr,l "] s tgsas ].
a few of tb ,tes she tickling corcs / l.
pres e IL in ,i aa above symptoms ~ g
more morn com II, any any! case at one tine @'s Y
Clans 'T Th or less undar,, N !,
f Pa,.so me proprietor of Ds '>,oo2 :
h hLhEDY viii pay $500 r pa' S5Ga's'.
Catarrh which he cannot n ,1saEd !.
glsts at 90 cents. '1'e' S1...
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

Or: pierce's ee!aa11, I is Io'aas: Is
viii cure a cOuAn c -. ital''
other medicine, tie as ~
ing Il ub, but BY ,,e'toai.'A sahafp'ss..i ol
,,1,tatton anakeuLiagfh GAppr' 81, ~,
eases Of lHoarseness,, n1Siii. =, 3
Loss of Voice, BroCr,nA Gov,
Chronic or Ling m. rlr = ( I.
vii be found to s.!rE2a5s - 81 tie 4 !:
svrr before been Offered +? ;, ' Gre. .
ewes ere I The sevcrest Coughs .,,i II beod' -,
g eTr. blood purifying pyser0iH''
a rrm YIctch Or i IN va,
Four to six botxs. re- and x srbl
ofPir7pls 8 on f,e me lasa2 - =
s enen, the hair. AEh, nins Of g. sfrsg &
~anted to cure II M Ticcrt ! !.
s sofI t5e worst ~e forms TO $ setil'.
1iary YP i;easeis;r 81: e. !. {
60 o. III Druggists, H."
WORLDS Dispfp I-,rraLo, ii
10, seneca ST, bUff''- - eh
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

Ssi's!S sss 1 sss s's s., !, I, w. ;
linz Line" This nan was S. sigpea s o.
put out no one ever cI. Was enier 9Ill. i
, this Of oa. lace g? Anoth .plsa d. The
r r..p letters bear, and a y !, naa d 4
remains a mystery, year 20 '1 sf, sa,s
fes a BosT on paper tel.
ume pa ., ms sn naightly es Ip5 fs,
OF a merchants i onrnsq1 after h !
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-31

THE MOST THOROUGH PURIFish "
RInOD YET nIsC0yEELA
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
Symptoms of Catarrh.

Obstruction of nasal passages. di9chare fall
ing into throat, sometimes profuse, watery,
acrid. or thick and tenacious, mucous, purulent,
bloody, putrid, offensive, etc. In others a
dryness. weak or infamed eyes, ringing in ears,
Deafness alterations. scabs from ulcers, voice
altered nasal twaug, offensive breath, impaired
smell and TASTE etc. Few only of above symp-
toms likely to be present in any case at one
time
To cure-take DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery earnestly. to correct the blood and
system. which are always at fault. also to act
specifically, as it does, upon the diseased
glands and lining membrane of the nose and
its communicating chambers. The more l see
of this odious disease, the more positive is my
belief that if we would make treatment perfect
ly successful in curing it, we must use constitu-
tiOndl treatment to act through the blood as
well as soothing and healing local appica-
ton, DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy, when used
warm and applied with DIR. Pierce's Nasal
Douche. effects cures upon common sense.
rational and scientific principles, by its mild
soothing and healing properties, TO which the
disease gradually yields, when the system has
been put in perfect order by the use of Colder
Medical Discovery. This is the only perfectly
safe, scientific and successful mode of acting
upon and healing it.
30 successful has the above course of treat
ment proven that the proprietor offers $500 re-
ward for a case he can not cure. All the
means sold by Druggists. r. V. Pierce, NJ
D.. Proprietor. Buffalo, N Y.-Com.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
D. APPLETON & Co., Publishers,
NEW YORK.

A well-known freight agent in New
York stated that he was well acquainted
with the Loch Earn, and had frequently
put cargoes aboard her. She had, he
said, been originally built to trade be-
tween Canada and England, and, in
order to enable her to force her way
through ice when she fell in with it, was
furnished with a bowsprit steel-plated
and of extra thickness. This fact, he
thought, accounted for the manner in
which she went crushing into the side
Of the Vile du Havre.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
ART DEPARTMENT, 1874.

The illustrations of THE ALDINE have won
worldwide reputation, and in the art centres of
Europe it is an admitted fact that its wood
cuts are examples Of the highest perfection
ever attained. The common prejudice IN favor
of steel plates" is rapidly yielding to a more
educated and discriminating taste which recog-
MICS the advantages Of superior artistic quality
with greater facility Of production. The wood
cuts of THE ALDINE possess all the delicacy and
elaborate finish of the most costly steel plate,
while they afford better rendering Of the
artists original
To fully realize tho wonderful work which
THE ALDINE is doing for the cause Of art cul-
ture in America, it is only necessary to consider
the cost to tho people of any decent rcpresen-
tations of the productions Of great painters.
In addition to designs by the members of tho
National Academy, and other noted American
artists, The AI.DINE will reproduce examples Of
the best foreign masters, selected with view
to the highest artistic success and greatest
general interest. Thus the subscriber to The
ALDINE will, at trifling cost, enjoy in his own
home the pleasures and refining influences of
true art
The quarterly tinted plates for 1874 will be
by Thos. Moran and ]. d. Woodward
The Christmas issue for 1874 will contain
special designs appropriate to the season by
our best artists, and will surpass in attractions
= ,.,., H.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
Canada ThiStleS.

Out West these are "sure crop"
when heat and drouth kill almost every
thing else. They appear to be proof
against all efforts to destroy them, and
neither fire, poison, nor the knife has
more than a Temporary effect upon their
vitality. In one locality the plant has
been moved before seed time, plowed
early in the season, and raked up by
the roots, then cut with the hoe at in
tervals of five days during the months
of June and July, and finally cut again
with the hoe and broadaxe later in the
season. In another locality the thisiles
were dug up and burnt in another
they were hacked off close to the ground
and salt strewn over the roots; in an
other they were saturated with strong
brine and sprinkled with aquafortis, and
in another theywere covered with refuse
lime from gas works to the depth of
several inches. -9ne bold fa.gc-,. ~ vi Coo
wrath against the weed must have been
uncommonly fierce, actually pulled
them up by the roots, then dug a hole
where the roots had been, and filled it
with benzine. He thinks he killed the
thistles thus treated, but it is not quite
certain nor is there, we are panied to
say, single well-authenticated eradi-
cation. Thistle commissioner" have
been appointed, but it is easy to see
from their report that they fear and an
ticipate fine showing of the sweet
Canadian flower next season, in spite of
hoes, plows, broadaxes, salt, aquafortis,
lime, and benzine. AS final resort it
is recommended by Chicago journal
that pound of nitro-glycerine be
placed under each thistle and exploded
by electricity.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
Prospectus for 1874...Seyenth Year,
THE ALDINE.
An Illustrated Monthly Journal, universally ad.
mitted to be the Handsomest Periodical
III the World A Representative
and Champion Of Aneri.
can Taste
NOT FOR SALE in BOOK Or NEWS STORES.

TNHE ALDINE, while issued with all the reg
Il ularty, has mono of the temporary or time
y interest characteristic of ordinary periodicals.
1t is an elegant miscellany Of pure, light and
graceful literature and collection of pictures,
the rarest specimens Of artistic skill, In black
and white. Although each succeeding number
affords fresh pleasure to its friends, the real
value and beauty of The ALD1NE win be most
appreciated after it has been bound UP at the
close Of the year. While other publications
may claim superior cheapness, as compared
with rivals of a similar class, The ALDINE is a
unique and original conception-alono and un-
pproached-absolutey without competition in
price OF character. The possessor Of a COM
plete volume cannot duplicate the quantity Of
fine paper and engravings in any other shape
or number of volumes for ten times its cost
and then, there are the chromos, besides
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
EVERY SATURDAY.
A Journal Of Choice Reading,

The plan Of EVERY SATURDAY embraces Serial
Tales, Short Stories, Critical and Descriptive
Essays, Sketches Of Travel and Adventure,
Poems, Biographical Papers, Literary Informa.
ton in fine, whatever contributes to produce
Weekly acceptable and attractive to all classes
of intelligent American readers.
Among the noted authors represented Ia
EVERY SATURDAY are Arthur Helps Charles
Kingsley, Matthew Arnold, Matthew Browne,
Edmund Yates, Henry Kingsley, G.. H. Lewes,
George Macdonald, The Country Parson, FraE-
ces Power Cobbe, Karl Blind, Captain Burton,
and many others.
To Advertisers wishing to reach large num-
Der of liberal buyers, EVERY SATURDAY will b.
found valuable medium wherein to make theii
announcements, our advertising pages being 70
arranged that all advertisements are ptonli.
nently before the reader
TEBMs-Weekly Numbers. 10 Cents; Month";
Parts, so Cents; Yearly Subscription, $500
in advance, $4.00a year to subscribers for any
other periodical (The Atlantic Monlhly ORt
Young Folks, North American ReUie,o), Issued
by the Publishers.
JAMES p. OsG00D & CO.. Puhisherc,
Ia TIr,,,,o o,,+ G.+y.aat I2-etcp
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25

If the ground is not frozen plowing
is still in order wherever it will facili-
tate work in the spring.
Wheat fields should be examined to
see If there are any parts liable to be
injured by water either now or in the
spring. The necessary bitches should
be dug before the ground is frozen.
Get the implements under cover. If
any need repairs place them where it
will be convenient to- get at them during
the winter.
Manure may still be drawn out and
spread on grass land or on winter wheat.
Clean up the premises and make
everything tidy for winter.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25
wIsTAR's BAIsAM for coughs and colds.- Con

There is, probably, no way in which
we can benefit our readers more than. by re-
commencing to them for general use JohnSoa's
Aaodyne Lini,nent 1t is adapted to almost
all the purposes of Family Medicine; and as
a specific for coughs, colds, whooping cough,
soreness of the chest lame stomach, rheuma
tism, splitting Of blood and all the lung diff
culties it has no equal that ever we saw or
heard of.-Conl
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-12-25

New York City subscribers Will be charged ~
cents per annum additional, which VIII prepay
In remttng by mail, post-otfice order OF
draft. payable to the order Of D. APPLETON q
Co., is preferable to banlt-notes, as IL lost tie
order or draft can be recovered without loss 70
the sender.
year.
AAPPLEToNs' JOURNAL and either Hdper'.
Weekly, Hdrper's Bdzdr, Hdrper''s Magazine,
LippencotEs Magazine, the Atlantic Monthly,
Scribne,''s Monniy,or the GdldTy, for one year.
on receipt of 500; ApPLEToNs JOURNAL and
LitePs Lifting Age for $1,000; the JouRNAL
and POPULAR SCIENCE MONTHLY, for $500.
D. APPLETON & CO., Publishers,
n Uv "