Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-07-02
The Pleasures of the Picnic.

This is the season of the year when
picnics are most frequent For real
solid enjoyment we, for our part, must
prefer a well conducted funeral to an
ordinary picnic. You generally reach
the grounds about eleven o'clock, and
the exercises begin with climbing hill,
up which you are compelled to carry
two heavy lunch baskets. When you
reach the summit you are positively GER
tain the thermometer must be nearly
six hundred and fifty in the shade You
throw yourself on the grass, and in a
few moments a brigade of black ants
begin to crawl down the back of your
neck, while phalanx of ticks charge
up your trowser legs. And just as you
jump up, your oldest boy, who has been
out in the woods, where he stirred up
yellow jackets nest, comes in with his
head and face swelled to the size of a
water-bucket; conveying the informa-
ton that your other boy, William
Henry, is up tree and can't get down.
After laboring to release William
Henry the thermometer seems to
have gone up two hundred more degrees,
and you think you will take swim in
the creek. While you are in the water,
young Jones strolls out with Miss Smith,
and unconscious of your presence they
sit down close to your clothes, and en-
gage in conversation for three-quarters
of an hour, while you lie down in the
shallow stream, afraid to bulge and
nearly killed with the hot sun. When
they leave, you emerge and find that
some wicked boy from the village has
run off with your shirt and socks. You
fix up as well as you can, and when you
get back with the party they are eating
dinner from cloth laid on the ground. A
spider is spinning a cobweb from the
pickle lar to the little end of the cold
ham; straddlebugs are frolicking around
cake, caterpillars are exploring the bread
plate, grasshoppers are jumping into the
butter, where they stick fast, the bees are
so thick around the sugar bowl that you
are afraid to go near it, and there are
enough ants in the pie to walk com
pletely off with it. You take seat,
however, determined to try to eat some
thing, but you get up suddenly--all at
once, as it we're, for you have set
down on briar. Then William
Henry, who has quafed an unreasona-
BILE quantity of Lemonade, gets the collie,
and his mother goes into Mysteries be-
cause she thinks he is poisoned with
pokeberries. You lay him under an
umbrella, and proceed to climb tree
in order to fix a swing for the girls. AT
ter skinning your hands, tearing your
trousers and running your coat, you get
TO the top, tie the rope and undertake to
come down on it. You do come down
with velocity, and your fingers are rub
bed entirely raw. Just then it begins to
rain furiously, and the whole party
stampedes to the depot for shelter.
When the shower slackens you go back
N the ground to get the rope, and just as
yoa get up in the tree the owner Of the
nlace comes slong with a gun and dog,
and threatens to blow your brains out
and eat you up if you don't leave imme-
diately. Then you come down again
With celebrity, and get over the fence as
Il Won we're in earnest. Going home IN
the train all the passengers regard you;
from your appearance, &C an escaped
convict, or a lunatie who has oFoken
from his keepers; and when you reach
home you plunge into a shirt, cover your
hands with court plaster, and register.
solemn vow never TO 90 on another PIC
Ric And we are with you; We never
will either. Mar AdeleF.