Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-07-26
Jeems and Lie on their We'd
ding Tour,

AASS' ~~SSAA "~~S y N~~01 -~~~> w -
verdant; having been raised in the wilds
of Western Virginia neither of them had
ever been fifty miles from home. They
had heard of railways, steamboats,, To-
comotives and hotels, but had never
experienced the comforts of any the
aforementioned institutions. Jeems and
Lie had determined on this, the most
important event of their lives, to visit
the world, particularly that portion of
it known as Parkersburgh, No wonder
that they were amused and delighted,
when the locomotive, steaming and
snorting, with the beautiful crimson
cars following it, came in sight.
"Those your trunks p aaid the bag
gage master.
"Well, Isorter calculate them's 'em, "
said Jccms.
The trunks { a spotted hair trunk and
a very old fashioned valise) were soon
in the baggage car, followed by Lie
and Jeems.
"Ill be darned if railroads amt a
fine thing" said Jeems, seating him
self on his luggage and carefully hold
ing up the tail of his tight-waisted blue
adorned with resplendant metal but
tons, out of the dust. ellie sit here
by me-"
"Come out of that" said the bag
gage master, "you are in the wrong
car"
"The hell I am! Dye 'spose I don't
know what I'm about? These is my
traps, and I calculate to stay whar they
ar. Keep quiet, Lie; they say were
we've got to fight our way through the
world, anyhow, and if that chap with
the cap ON wants anything, why I'm
his man. Don't want any yer foolin'
round me!'
Here the canductorinterposed and ex-
planned matters, insomuch that Jeems
consented to leave his traps and fol-
low him. What was his delight
when he surveyed the magnifcence of
the tirst-class car into which he was
ushered. His imagination had never,
in its widest fight, pictured anything
half so gorgeous. He was aroused
from the contemplation of splendor
around him by the shrek of the iron
horse.
"Jewhillikins! what in the thunder's
that" exclaimed Jeems.
"That's the horse squealing when
they punch him in the ribs with pitch
fork, to make him so along" said q
sleepy individual just behind him.
Look here, stranger" said Jeems,
" I know you think I'm darned fool:
maybe 1 am; but there's one thing
know, and that is, that you'll get your
mouth broke, ef you don't keep it shut.
1 don't say much"-just at that mo-
ment they found themselves in Egyp-
tian darkness, then was heard scream
almost equal to that of the engine; from
Lize, as she threw her arms around the
neck of Jeems.
81 knew itw exclaimed the sleepy
individual; eve are all lost, every
mothers son of us. We can prepare
to make the acquaintance of the gen.
tleman in black, who tends the big
fire down below"
ooh, Lord! Jeems, what will become
of us? felt skerry about gettin' on
the outlandish thing at fust."
Keep quiet, Lie! hollerin' won't
do any good now. Eff you know any
prayer, now's your time to say it, for
both of us"
What is the matter here?" said the
astonished conductor, coming up as the
train emerged once more into the light.
That's jset what I'd like to know,
said Jeems, when he saw that Lie and
himself were still alive.
"We'ye just passed through Eaton's
tunnel" replied our polite captain.
" How far are you goinge"
"Well, I reckon we'll stop at Park
ersburgh."
"Show your tickets, if you please"
"Sartinly. Lie, you got some with
you! Let this gent look at 'em."
Lie drew a piece of white paper from
her reticule, and, with smile, handed
it to our friend the conductor, who
read: .,,.
"The pleasure of your company is
respectfully solicited" etc..
"What's this!" said the captain.