Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-03-14
A FUNNY ELOPEMENT.

mortgsged to the last cent it is worth, and
| owe a heap Of money besides-more by a
long shot than [ know how to pay. VIVA
is to be done p
Il am sure I don't know, Peter" rapliee
the bothered wife, "but it seems too awful
bad to be turned out of house and home at
our time Of life. Now, if your son Johr
would only marry Jonas Browns daughter
Sally. it would help us amazingly. TIL,
Browns, you see, are we'll off, and the con
nection would be a perfect gold mine to us
Of course they'd give Sally the hundred
acres of land and things that they'v Away
said they would
''That's good idea wife," and Peter
frightened up amazingly. "You always
were cute woman, and the notion does you
credit. But do you think the young folks
would take to it p
II don't know but it seems to me thai
they've always taken great notion to each
other ever since they were children-been
more like brother and sister than any thing
else"
| But suppose the Browns would object,
as most likely they would A.? You know We
amt GU good terms II thick as the young
folks have BEEN
! ''Pll tell you what Peter, is just the
IL ling for US to do-put up John to elope
WI til Sally"
"Agreed I'll leave it all to you to man :
age"
1'hus the matter was settled, and the
sche ming couple went to bed to dream Of E
spec ~ release from their financial embar
ASSN ents.
| Condolences are sometimes of the most
curious character almost surprising belief
| in som instances
About the time of the above conversation
betwee Mr. and Mrs Smith, their neigh
bors,. j ouas Brown and wife. held an i'm
| portant conference.
edo you remember that note for six hum
dreel dollars I gave for stock last spring 2
aske d Jonas -..s
eyes," replied his wife
"Well, it's coming due in about monh
and how under the sun we're going to pay
it, [ don't know"
mortgage the farm"
'sWe've done that till it can't be mort
gagged another cent Tn clean discouraged
and there is Sally wanting piano. Where
the money is to come from is mystery te
me. We're on the verge of bankruptcy :
II wish Sally would marry John Smith
gracious knows they're together enough
to take notion that way"
| Yes but [ don't see how that would
help US any"
"You don't eh Well, do. Amt hi:
folks rich and wouldn't they set him up
handsomely Then we would stand some
chance of getting help through Sally"
|'That's good plan was Jonas conclu
sion, after profound meditation but the
difficulty is, that the Smiths are not on good
terms with us, and would be likely to oppos
! the match,
Then the best plan is to set the young
folks up to an elopement
So it CHANGED that the Browns and the
Smiths planned to dispose of their children
to their best pecuniary advantage. The
next thing IN each case was to mould th'
young ones to the proper shape.
John Smith was handsome, brawny
country fellow, with plenty Of good sense
and an ocean Of love for Sally Brown
| When his parents proposed his marrying
her, be informed them that he would gladly
do SO but he feared her parents would OBJ
lject. Then his father 'slyly suggested al
elopement, and offered to aid in carrying
out such an exploit John said he woulc
think about it.
Sally was rustic maiden with much red
ness of cheeks, and rejoicing in the posses
sion Of the lasting comeliness, which is deri
we'd from bright smile, a sweet temper
and pair of clear earnest eyes, made none
the less expressive by the near neighborhoot
OF saucy little retrousse nose. Her wavJ
brown had not ripple out Of place, ano
her plump little figure was encased in
we'll fitting dress, which was neatness itself
When her parents spoke to her about Johl
she blushed becomingy, and, after clos
questioning, admitted that she would b
i'ti,k|ed to DEATH to marry him. Sb
further stated that they we're running ovel
with love for each other that they hal
long ago settled the question Of ultimate I'm
ion, but that they feared parental obje ctlon
''Now, III tell you what Sally" sal
Mrs. Brown, you know pa and l dote OF
you, and would do anything to make you
happy
"Yes, we would do anything to make
you happy echoed the old man.
And if you were to hint to John tn
idea Of an elopement, we wouldn't lit GU
fingers to prevent it,
mo- repeated the old man, I'VE woul
not lift our finger to prevent it,
In thus instructing their children, tn
Smiths and Browns displayed very lit!
knowledge of human nature. They woul
!, have known that John and Sally would, up
on the first occasion possible, unhosou
themselves for how could true lovers kee.
secret and such secret ? And the.
didn't. At the next meeting each told tn
other all he or she had been told by parer
r. tai lips, but neither could conceive the oh
ject of the old folks. However, they wor
not over disposed to question the matter
They were too glad that the eonsummatio
so devoutly wished was SO near at hand,
: question how it had been brought about :
l. Conscious that their progenitcrs were up
r some kind of trickery, they resolved at one