Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-09-10

CHEAP ron CASE.
Miscellaneous:


1t IL sad 10 see u newspaper die
without issue.
One Of our dentists takes o daily
pull OH the river.
The monument TO Greeley oughtto
be an imposing stone.
A Philadelphia razor man was re-
Gently presented with "strapoinH
Dig boy"
The frat postal card received at
Dubuque WIS i.ois lady, and mark
90 Private"
"iinve You had your mornings
morning iiis morning. j. tie latest
way of purt:":it.
How na;ural y, ar man, when he
makes a un-iike 10 korreSt !. by
suss:ug som. i',,y else tor II.
The Aurorr. ORGAN "f the Tliinoi.
State Agricultural Co.i"gr. spo.ks VI
flttcning hu-s sS .Susicu turc."
Equality" sars French writer,
"mcaus desire 40 hc .4usi TO your,
supcr'"r, snd superior to your
equal"
Is. A Wabash editor returtss fhanks
for . ce.itipcGe sent him by mail from
Texas, being tnc first cent of any kind
he had seen iog Il month.
In ali advertisement of bakers
business tor sale. the following ap-
pears: "Death, the sole reason for
leaving" " would be difficult 10
find better.
The Danburv News says: "The
use of tobacco is q disgusting habit.
1t weakens the frame, benumbs the
faculties. au' what is far worse,
keeps the price,"
n local geulogist Of Terre Haute
says that any person having a taste
for gold mining can clear from forty
to sixty cents n day almost anywhere
in Vigo county, Ind.
TIE Utica Herald says men will
never know what effect ii would have
had on job if eleven little girls had
ca'led OF him. one after another, ana
| tried tn sell him Sunday-school pic
mic tickets. 8.
An Alabama ~mnn shot himself
rather than endure disease with
such Il name AS cercbro-spiual men
! nights.
A British NJ. p. began a speech on
the Judicature Bill with the assertion
.trut--rc could not keep silent with
out saying few words"
A facetious Massachusetts, grocer
announces on a playcard at the door
"a fresh invoice of choice lickers,"
when he receives new lot ofsmoked
. tongue.
Medical students arc warned not
TO ask q certain Western Ininister,to
preach for them. lie has his text
ready. 'In his disease Asa sought
not the. Lord, but the physicians.
And Asa slept with his fathers.'
/ \ SAD Loss.--Al old lady was
telling lier grandchildren about some
trouble in Scotland. in the course of
which the chief of her clan was be-
headed. cit was nae great thing Of
y head, BARNS. to be sure" said the
good lady, "hut it was u sad loss to
him.
Alexandra Dumas, perc, was one
day asked to contribute ten francs for
the funeral OF a bailifr who had died
in destitute circumstances. "Wbat"
exclaimed the great snovclist, "ten
francs FOR buryiug n bailff! Here
: are one hundred francs-bury ten
: bailiiis."
4 When C''-S was on the bench, an
+, advocate VIII had been pleading be-
fore him ap .logeiicaliy concluded a
p speech oi six hours by. remark!ng
T. that he was afraid he had gone be-
: y,nd his time. "Oh. no." answered
A the witty judge, "these last three
: hours YOU have been speaking to
: eternity"
A son Of Mr.. Grahamc, tho author
Of The Sabbath, was very talitand
l exceedingly lean. One day walking
: on the floor Of the Parliament House
C he attracted. the notice of Mr.. Clark.
Who is thai!' asked the wit. He
II was answered, ~rhe son of the Sab
II bath" "Is he. indeed 2" said Clark;
;, ''hc looks more like the son"~of the
:, Fast-day."
A The popular love for variety ia ex-
pressed in the following notice: "a
/. tin. chrome. 'litn and Ducklings,' ,
Christ is Risen, either at the option
= Of the subscriber, is given as prem
ium 10 every subscriber to tho pa
g per-"
l. youth stretched rrolc upon Tie ground,
a Half !'uret! in tie in-t was ipani,
An -;iiity bp;ilr -;ill hc gras,e.!,
u And ia low, MOURNING; TOM. hr gssocd,
e "IIistei!"
J. Wordsworth" said Charles Lamb,
Is "nne day told me that he considered
= Shakespeare greatly overrated. There
y Is" said he. an imhnensity of trick in
= all Shakespeare wrote, aud people
If are taken by il. Now, If l had .
II mind | could write exactly like
l. Shakespeare. So you Sec, proceeded
IS Charles Lamh. quietly. it was only
J. the mind that was wanting"
- The lady who tapped her husband
>, gently with fan at party the other
A night. and said: "Love, it's growing
, late. think We had better 90 home, /"
~ is the same one who after. getting
l., home shook the rollims-lin under his
y, n"-e and said, "you internal old
vi -coundrcl you. if you ever look at
~ ~ that mean, calico-ficeh, mackerel.
~ eyed thing that you looked at tonight
y. Ill bust your head wid" OPEN"