davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
Pith and Point.

WHO is the oldest lunatic on record
Time out of mind.
Owing to the small price of hemp in
Kentucky, the people will quit raising
it until it has raised few of their
number.
You might as reasonably expect to
find hole in water after taking your
finger out, as to expect to be missed
after you are dead.
"WHY do you set your coffee on the
chair, Mr.. Jones?" said a worthy land
lady one morning at breakfast. SIT is
so very weak, ma am, thought would
let it rest
A MERCHANT who has Sunday
class asked "What is solitude?" and
was visibly disturbed when miserable
boy answered, "The store that don't
advertise"
WHAT are you doing there, you ras-
cal? ?" "Merely taking cold, sir" cit
looks to me as if you were stealing ice"
"Well-yes-perhaps it will bear that
construction.
A WAC who thought to have joke at
the expense of an Irish provision dealer,
said, Can you supply me with yard
of pork ?" Pat, give this gentleman
three pigs feet"
Mrs. JENKINS complained in the even
ing that the turkey she had eaten didn't
set well. "Probably," said Jenkins,
lit was not hen turkey" He got a
glass of water in his face.
A LAWYER once asked Dutchman
concerning pig in court "What ear
marks had he ?" "Vell, ven l first be-
came acquainted NIT de hook, he had no
ear-marks except very short tall"
A REPORTER for Wisconsin paper
writes: "Those who personally knew
our esteemed fellow-citizen, Col. -,
will regret to hear that he was brutally
assaulted last evening, but not killed"
A LADY having brought suit to re-
cover chignon from a hair-dresser,
with whom she had left it in repair, her
little boy wanted to know off that
chignon was what is called hair at
law 2"
Mr.. CovnLE says a looking glass
affords woman a marvellous amount of
comfort and qualification. He says his
wife thinks just as much of consulting
her glass when she ties on her apron as
when she ties on her bonnet. He says
that when there is knock at the door
he goes there at once, but his wife, on
thecontrary, calculates, "Mercy, Joseph,
who's that ?" and dashes for the looking
glass the first thing. NetUs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
General Notes.
GLADSTONE gets 40. 900 a year.

GLADSTONE gets Al, 900 year.
GRANGER hats have been introduced
ORANGES are being formed throughout
Texas.
NEARLY every farmer in California is
now granger.
ANNAPOLIS is to have another colored
cadet from South Carolina.
THE season of putting up stoves and
blessing " that pipe " is at hand.
IT takes seventeen minutes to trans
NIT message from England to India.
JOHN G. BRECKENRIDGE is about to To-
cate in New York for the practice of
law.
INDIANA claims the largest school
fund (SS, 200, OOO) of any State in the
Union.
The wealthiest man in Russia, out
side of the nobility, is worth $780,
100000.
IowA's wheat crop of 1872 was 30, OOO,-
600 bushels, and its corn crop 49,
100000.
FILLMORE and Johnson are the only
ex-Presidents of the United States that
survive.
THERE are 5,0S6 newspapers in this
country, having an aggregate circulation
of 13, 5SS, 1872.
The sales of postage stamps haze been
81, 900 a day less than usual since the
money panic began.
THE Emperor of Brazil stands six feet
four in his stockings, and has treble
voice as shrill as that of an infant.
THE american Family Bible Pub
fishing Co. are fast monopolizing the Bible
trade. The secret is in furnishing the best
and cheapest Bible and dealing literally with
agents. See advertisement.
THE hottest military post on the
North American continent is Camp
Mohave, on the great Colorado river.
For many days during the past season
the mercury has stood at 122 degrees in
the shade.
A NEGRO burglar in Macon, Ca, Sc
creted himself under the bed for the
purpose of robbing the house during
the night. He fell asleep, however, and
his snoring aroused the inmates of the
dwelling
The Supreme Court of New York has
just decided that man can pick all the
fruit from a tree growing on his own
land though it hang over on a neighbours
land. The question is an old and Oft
Disrupted ole.
IT is dangerous thing to squeeze a
lady's hand in Brooklyn, n. Y. A man
there never proposed to young lady,
but he pressed her hand, kissed her and
was generally attentive, and so the City
Judge gave her SO, 600 for what was in
ferred to be breach of promise.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
A GRAPHIC TALE.

Mr. Wise he wouldn't go,
And he thus broke mp the show;
When up stepped bold Donaldson accordin,
Saying: "Give me plenty gas,
And promise you TO pass,
Like streak, to the other side of Jordan.
SO they furnished Lunt and Ford,
And the hero stepped aboard,
when the thing arose, though twas etherialized,
And says Donaldson: my boys,
loot your horn and make noise;
Oh! the dream of my manhood now is realized"
And from the upper regions,
by the frightened carrier pigeons,
Mr.. Ford he sent dispatches light as Eden;
Saying: "We have done our Grant,
We have struck the Eastern current,
And well write you the particulars from Sweden"
Oh how the monster sweeps
over rivers and streets
And the grandest view twas ever affordin';
Rising upward to the moon
This Dustin big balloon
Going straight to the other side of Jordan.
But the weather so seraphic
Wouldn't last and that ere Graphic
Got blow from old Boroas. as he roar'd on:
Got wind and rain and buster,
Till the big inflated buster
Kind o. paused in Its passage over Jordan.
Said Donaldson to Ford
As the monster pitched and roard:
"Ihave left some earthly business unattended;
And think I'll stop to see
If the Graphic Company
Are possessed of any gases not expended"
Said the other daring fellers
I'VE forgot our umbereers,
And we cannot go 30 Europe while It's rainin';
Let us jump" And so they did
And their legs were almost hid
In the marshes of the "happy land of Canaan"
am ready here and now
To put up my hand and swow
will not be fooled by any more
Such lingo.
Let the " currents " and the breezes
Blow whichever way they pleases,
I'm for common modes of travelling,
BY lingo.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
The Looks of Literary Women.

Very intellectual woman are seldom
beautiful their features, and particu-
larly their foreheads, are more or less
masculine. But there are exceptions to
all rules, and Miss Landon vas an ex-
ception to this one. She was exceed
ingly feminine and pretty. Mrs. Stan
ton, likewise, is handsome woman, but
Miss Anthony and Mrs. Livermore are
both plain. Maria and Jane Porter
were women of high brows and irregular
features as vas also Miss Sedgwick.
Anna Dickinson has strong masculine
face Kate Field has q good-looklng,
though by no means pretty, one, and
Mrs. Stowe is thought to be positively
homely. Alice and Phoebe Cary were
both plain in features, though their
sweetness of disposition. added greatly
to their personal appearance. Margaret
Fuller had splendid head, but her fea-
lures were irregular, and she was any
thing but handsome; though sometimes
in the glow',of conversation she appeared
almost radiant. Charlotte Bronte had
wondrously beautiful dark brown eyes,
and perfectly shaped head. She was
small to diminutiveness, and was as
simple in her manner as child. julia
Ward Howe is fine looking woman,
wearing an aspect of grace and refine
ment and great force of character in her
face and carriage. Laura Holloway re-
sembles Charlotte Bronte, both in per-
sonal appearance and in the sad expert
ence of her young life. Neither Mary
Booth nor Mary Harlan can lay claim
to handsome faces, though they are
splendid specimens of cultured women,
while Mary Clemmer Ames is just as
pleasing in features as her writings are
graceful and popular.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
Remember This.

When pork is seven dollars per hun
dred pounds, and corn sixty-fve cents
per bushel, the pork will just about pay
for the corn when fed raw and unground.
If ground and made into slop with cold
water, it will make five pounds more
pork to each bushel Ct corn, and If
ground and well cooked, it will make
nearly seventy per cent more pork than
when fed raw and whole. Our readers
who can estimate the cost of cooking,
can tell from this whether it will pay for
the expense.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES PHI
BETA CAPPA POEM.
A POEM SERVED no ORDER.

Phi Beta Kappa, ,iuae 20, 1873.
The Caliph ordered up his cook,
And scOwling with a fearful LOOK
That meant We stand no CANNON
" Tomorrow, just AT two, lac sara,
" Hassan, our cook, will lose his head'
Or serve us up salmon.
Great Sire, the trembling chef replied,
Lord OF the Earth and all beside,
sun, Moon and Stars, aud so on
Uook in Eothen-there you'll hnd
A list of titles. Never mind,
/ haven't time to go on.)
Great Sire, and so forth, thus he spoke
Your Highness must intend joke
Ii doesn't stand 10 reason
For one to order salmon brought,
Unless that fish is sometimes caught;
And als0 il in season.
Onr luck Of late is shocking bad;
In fact the latest catch We had
we kept the matter shady.)
But, hauling in our nets, alnck
We found no salmon, but sack
That held your honored lady!"
Allah is great :" the Caliph said;
NV poor Zuleika, you are dead,
/ once took interest in you"
Perhaps my lord, you'd like to know:
We cut the lines and let her go.'
- Allah be praised Continue"
cit isn't hard ones hook to bait,
And squatting down, 10 watch and wait
Aud see the cork go under;
At last suppose you've got your bite,
You twitch away with all your might
You've hooked an eel, by thunderU
The Caliph patted Hassans head;
- Slave, thou hast spoken well, ;" he said,
Z" And won thy masters favor.
Yes since what happened tother morn
The salmon of the Golden Horn
Might have a doubtful flavor.
(" That last remark about the eel
Has also justice that we feel
Quite to our satisfaction.
Tomorrow we dispense with fish,
And for the present If you wish,
You'll keep your dubious fraction"
Thanks thanks :" the grateful chef replied
His nutrient features showing wide
The CLEAN of arches dental;
I" To cut my head off wouldn't pay,
find it useful every day,
As well as ornamental.
Brothers, hope you will not fai!
To see the moral of my tale
And kindly to receive 1t,
You know your anniversary pie
Must have its crust, though hard and dry
And some prefer to leave II.
How oft before these youth were born
I've fished in Fancy's Golden Horn
For what the Muse might send rae.
How gay then east the line,
When all the morning sky was mine.
And Hope her flies would lend ue
And now hear our despot's call,
Aud come, like Hassan to the hail
there's a slave, am one
NY bait no longer flies, but worms
I've caught-Lord bless me how he squirms
An eel, and not salmon!
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-17

The Danbury News man says: The
buckwheat season approaches when the
head of the family .eets fourteen cakes
at sitting, to the unbounded sa.isfac-
ton OF himself, and to the unmtigated
disgust of the Oldest boy, who cripples
his digestive apparatus for life in vain
attempt to do the same.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

PARENTS, DiD YoU EVER THINK OF Ir?-Our
attention wac drawn, last evening, in passing a
beer saloon at an early hour to the actions Of
some children about the front door Within
were lot Of men drinking, and their maudlin.
cultural haraagues tloated out upon the still
night air, saluting the ears Of the passer-by and
disgusting moral conscience. These children
were lying flat upon the steps peering under the
door which was very wisely closed to hide the
jewellers from public gaze (isnt it strange that
men usually hold their carousals out of sght:) or
climbing up to the window sill that they might
see what was going ON inside The q1es-
tlon We wish to press home upon those
men, if this article shall fall kinder their eye. is
if some OF those children we're their own, could
they blame them when they grow up il they
should engage in such habits Every man wants
his children to be good and virtuous, intelligent
and prosperous, but the instillation OF these
virtues in their minds is many times abortiye
because OF the examples which the parents
themselves set.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
Societies.
MEETINGS THIS EVENING.

Asylum Lodge, No. 90, 1. o. o. F., at Odd
Fellows Hail. Sd and King Streets.
p. Good Intent Division, No. 3, $ of T., at Hall
Humanity Circle, b. U. G. A. Hall 5Oi Market
street.
Lincoln Lodge, No. 8, X. of p, at Knights of
Pythias Hall, I'll Market street.
American Star Lodge, No. /, G. F., at Good
Fellows Hall, 3D. and Market street.
Columbia Lodge, No. Il, 1. 0. G. T., at 9Th
Delaware Encampment No. /. ]. o. o. F.. at
Odd Fellows Hall, Sd and KING streets.
Delaware Degree Council, No l. o. U. A. NJ.
at Mechanics Hall, 2l9 King street. ''
sonic Temple. 49,"
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

OrR DAYS. = We h ave already reacaed the
years longest days. Nov the sun rises at his
earliest and s-t- at his latest hour. Even in this
latitude he MAJ ns his morning appearance before
the clock marks l3U; and he does not set till
three or four minutes after 7;3O. This gives us
agood long day Of more than fifteen hours of
sunshine. II exactly reyerses the winter order
when at Christmas We only have nine hous, or
Just as long az these brief nights are now, and
then come the long winter nights OF fifteen
hours.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
l eiter from Milford.

DELAWARE DwARFs IN TowN-THEIR ENGAGEMENT
WITH BARNUM-LossEs by TIE FAILURE OF A
NEW YORK COMMISSION HoUsE-CELEBRATIoN ON
THE 4fH NC.
special Correspondence of the Commercial
MILFORD, DEL, June 80.
The latest matter of interest with us was the
arrival, on Saturday last, of Charles Moreau, of
St. Johnstown, II miles below, with his two
dwarf daughters. Large crowds followed their
footsteps to hear them sing and talk. The old
est is 20 years old, 30 inches high and weighs
55 pounds She is somewhat deformed about
tue head, and both il and her face are somewhat
out OF proportion with her body.
The younger il sixteen years old, 3S inches
high and weighs A pounds. Being without a
bone III ono leg, she cannot walk. This leg il
very elastic and will stretch like india rubber.
Both these children are quite Intelligent and are
great takers and singers
Last winter, was informed by their father
that both himself and children made an engage
meht with Barnnm, and were ON exhibition at
his museum in New York. The eldest daugl-
ter received sl5 per week, the youngest 5l2 and
the father one dollar per day for attending to
them. He was not satisfied however and re-
one week
The strawberry crop was cut short by the
drought, and was not very profitable withal
Messrs Wales Barker lost about $500 by the
iallure OF deo Il. smith, New York commits
sion merchant, and their consignee
Wehaye had no rain for several weeks. and
vegetation is dying. The early potato crop is
worthless. The wheat harvest is now ON, ani
the yield promises to be very fair one better
than for several years.
Thomas Livingston, tin peddler. fell from
his wagon last Wednesday, breaking his leg and
dislocating his shoulder.
Rev. Mr. Russum is filling the pulpit of the
NJ T. Church during the absence OF Rev. d. c.
Ridgway in Europe
An excursion train will be run to Lewes on the
4th
There will be no demonstration here on the
18th by the whites. The coored people will have
a big time.
The streets are sprinkled daily FRANK.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

AFTER THIRTY YEARS SEPARATION. There was
brought into the cells, yesterday in an intoxi-
Gated condition a Frenchman who had but lately
arrived in this country aud who was unable to
speak work of English. or course no one
could understand word he said. bnt when il
was learned that he was a Frenchman an Ameri.
caniZed citizen Of French descent was sent for
who entered into conversation with the stran-
ger. 1t was soon ascertained that the unfortu-
nate father was Il resident of Wilmington and
he was at once sent for. The two met together
in the cells for tie frat time after separation Of
thirty wears
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

Mr.. GoULY's Excursions A card from Mr.. ],
L Goulv. elsewhere published announces that
his excursion to Rehoboth on the 10th of July,
is broken up. the Captain OF the steamer refus-
ing to leave Lewes on the return SO late as five
o'clock, though all other arrangements are COM
pleted. The two excursions to Cape May, how
ever. will be made as adYertIsed
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

EXTENSIVE SHIRT MAKING.-A proposition has
been made to MIR John S. Rowbotham by a relia-
bic party in ouo OF our large cities, for a con-
tract to make three hundred dozen shirts
week in this city. The idea is to have the ma
telial sent here and gIvon out ready cut. to sew
mg-women, to be made up. Mr., Rowbotham is
somewhat i'll doubt whether women enough can
be found ready to undertake the work, and we
suggest that those who would like such nploy-
mellt cAll on him.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
Is-E. +. KUNKEL'S BIITtR WIYF or IROl


L, +. kunRels celebrated Bitter Wine of Iron
will enectually cure liver complaint, Jiundce, dys-
pepsia, chronic or nervous debility, chronic dlarrhea
disease of the kidneys, ana all diseases arising from
a disordered liver, stomach or intestnes; such as
constipation, natuence, inward piles fulIess OF
blood to the head, acdty OF the stomach, nausea,
heartburn disgust for food IN Ines weight in the
stomach, sore eructatons, sinking or futtering at
the pit OF the stomach swimming of the head, hur-
red or dhleult breathing, huttering Of the heart,
choking or suifocatlng sensations when in a lying
posture, dlmness of vision, dots webs before the
sight, dull pain In The lead deficiency OF perspira
lion, yeilOwness of the skin and eyes. p4n in the
side, back, chest, limos, &c sudden lushes uf heat
burning in the flesh, constant lm1e elnlngs Ut evil
anu great depression OF spirits.
They are entirely vegetable and free from ale hOl-
lc stimulent and all Injurious ingredients, and are
pleasant TO taste and smell mild IN their operations
will remove impurities from the bouy ana give
health and vigor to the frame,
Beware Of cGunterieits. The genuine is sold only
in 81 bottles.
S0ld by druggists and dealers everywhere. f. L.
kUNKEL, Pr p.letor, NO. 200 North Ninth street.
Philadelphia, Pa
For sae III Wilmington by E. HCinGll, DR., Second
and Market, E. nrnghurst 4 Co., sixth and Market
ii. K. Bringhurst, SlT Market street; Alfred Walton
2S5 Market street, j. j. Gallagher B. a q ShoeIna.
ker, Smith Painter, u. Il. Williams, Ninth and
Market streets and L. NJ. England, T. sixth and
Lombard streets. oCt3O-ly-l6
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

REMANDED FOR A FURTHER HEARINd.-C Charles
Myers arrested on Sunday. charged with an at
tempt to burn Turner's stables, on Water street
had a hearing before the Mayor, yesterday and
was remanded for further hearing in the ab-
seuce Of material witness.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
SuzrGiug.
for SaIt.
VALUABLE
MANUFACTURING AND CITY PRO
PERTY.
AT PRIVATE SALE.

The following desirable real estate is offered at
private sale:
No. i-The two steam and water power mills now
occupied and used az kiln dried corn MEAL and flour
mills by James X Price Co., situated on the south
Hde of the BrRndgwine with all the water rights
longing thefeuntO, comprising fout -sevenths or
controlling interest OF the Brahdywine water on the
south side OF the creek. THIS property comprises
twelve run of stone four OverHhOt water wheels,
seventy horse power engine bolting cloths and hx-
lures all In perfect order. Also, valuable wharf
property adj lining mil.
No IA large lot OF land containing three ana, a.
half acres more or lets sltuA ed on the south bank
OF the BrandYwine short distance below the mills
of Jas e. Price Co., adjoining lapds OF the Swift,
Courtney Beecher Co, with very large frontage
on the creek and admirably adapted for whArvea.
ON this property are situated stable, a.Orthouse
and three dwelling houses.
NO. ga lot Of land with two twO-story frame
cooper Shops situated at the corner OF Fifteenth
and Walnut streets, having front OF about ~ feet
on Walnut stree by 10 feet In depth along III teenth
street.
N04-A two-and-a haf story double brick dwell
ing house with lot 1872 feet front on Sixteenth st
by l5O feet IN depth on Walnut, situated at the W
corner OF Sixteenth aud Walnut streets. beng NJ.
2Os Sixteenth street and running through the
square. House furnished with all modern improve
ments.
No 6-A two-ttory frame dwelling house. with lot
about % feet front Fifteenth street by 40 feet
depth, being No 2l2 Fifteenth street
No GA lot Of land at the corner Of Four
eenth and French streets, 81 feet on French street
by 1lO feet on Fourteenth street, wi large frame
storehouae, 10 by 90 feet
No IA lot OF land at the Southeast corner of
Fourteenth and Orange streets. ~ feet on Four
teenth street by 90 feet on orange street.
NOS-A lot of land with 1ne brick stable on the
south side OF Fourteenth street, between Market
and orange Streets with front OF about ieet On
Fourteenth street, with depth of 80 feet.
No9-A very desirable building lot at the N K
corner OF Eighth aud Madison Streets with front
OF so feet on Madison street by " feet ON Eighth
street.
All the above described property is nov offered at
private sale on easy terms OF payment IL com
prses some valuable building lot together with two
OF the most available mill sites On the Brandywine.
For full particulars and terms, apply To
JAM Is Nc. PRICE,
tr tn his Attorney,
"a u GEORGE ii. BAT rs.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

EE-The Question Settled.-Those eminent men, DIR
Jas CLARK, Physician to Queen Victoria, and DR.
Hughes Bennetta say that consumption can be cured
DIR " istar knew this when he discovered his HOw
wldey-knOwn Balsam of Wild Cherry aud expert
ence has proved the correctness Of his opinion
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
Financial and oommsroIal,
MERELY MENTIONED.

All OF the imported brands Of cigars initiated
warranted as good as the imported cigar or no sale.
Second and French streets.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01
fnr AEul.

ENoR RRNT-5 rooms, two of them on d st moor,
- In desirable location Address &C r."
jyl-u This ONCE
LNoR RENT-Two rooms for rent. second. story.
u je2S-3t' 2Ot WALNUT STREET.
LNoR RRNT-4 new two-story brick houses -
L near Belts Foundry. Apply TO -
JeHo-t Ihoo NALfhh.
ENoR RENT.-Thlrd Story connecting Rooms,
u over our Carpet Store, 220 and 222 Market st.
apr23tf q. WORRELI..
ENOR RENT-Stores for rent one on King and
- one on Fifth street, In the new hotel building,
Clayton House. Apply to
narll-tf Il. T. TAYLOR.
ENOR RENT-Two large connect ng rooms In the
IL thrd-story OF the SaVe building, for society
meetings or for light manufacturing. Apply TO
ALEX. SAVILLE,
feb1,tf 6i2 n arket Street,
ENOR RENT.-Dwelling House No. 1906 Delaware
u Avenue, II rooms, with all the modern liza
provements; possession given on the 26th OF March
next. Apply 10 CLEMENT B. SMYTH,
dec2,u. SIS West Street.
LOR RENT-Large fourth-story reom with anti
II rooms; suitable for societies Apply to
RICHARDSON h HOOPES,
nov2o-tf 1903 Market street.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

ELECTION OF OFFICERS. The following were
elected officers Of St. Peters Beneficial Society.
for. the ensuing year,at the annual election last
evening Presdeut--George Chance. Vice
President-lhomas Fedigan. Secretary james
Monaghan. Treasurer George O'Neil Mar
shal-Joseph j. Breen. Messenger Hugh Quig
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

SOCIETY ELECTION Delaware Lodge. No. l, l.
o. .. f., elected the following officers. last
evening N. G., Samuel Campbell V. g., ID. W.
Dullield Il. s., W. A. Malcolm.
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

REMEMBER that in no hair preparation will you
una ahythlhg Ike Nattans Crystal Discovery. None
other in the market IL any way ike it, il restores
lhe color cleanses AID reReperates the hair War
tAnted TO contain no poisonous ingredients For
sale by Druggists
Wilmington daily commercial., 1873-07-01

EE- StOrekeepsTs can he supplied with Fireworks,
Fire Crackers &C., at New York prices. Adams 4
Bro, SOC Market street, Wilmington, DEL