The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1873-09-26
Love without Nonsense.

clear, transparent skin, and lips like
cherries, aud cheeks suifdsed with blush,
es. She didn't have glossy black hair,
sweeping back in wavy trosses from her
queenlY brow, and her form wasn't bit
like Hcbos. No, there was none of those
thing; on the contrary, she was short,
and thin, and had red hair and ircckles,
and she also supported snaggle teeth and
wore pads, but still she was a right nice
girl; and there fell in love with her, one
whose name was Bill, although his
friends called him William when they
wanted to hurt his feelings, for he didn't
like IL much. He wasn't fne.looking
and had neither curley brown hair nor a
moustache. Not much. Bill laid him
self ont on the soap locks, and wore a
goaiec that he had died twice a week.
Now this Bill, he was in love with
Mary, but he didn't go and make a de
liberate ass of himself Did he, say,
20 into a grove with her, and in the soft
moonlight, by the streamlet that mur-
INJURED sweetly by, and with the tender
zephyr signing through the foliage, fall
down on bis knees, seize her jewelled
hand, and breathe his deep affection
in the tender accents Of fond attachment,
and swear by lyon bright orb above US,
always to be thinei' Did he, ayi
You can lay out your whole revenue
supply on that. William knew too
much about the pricc Of pants 70 60
taround on the wet grass with his good
clothes on, besides, he never cared any
thing about streamlets or any kind Of
cold water, except TO mix with his gin.
No, sir; il was exceedingly strange, but
this infatuated William met her at the
alley gate, and he stood upright on bis
legs and says
"Say, Moll, old gal, s'pOsen we get
hitchedl"
Bot how did Mary behaved Did she
- drspping 70 sleep over on The bricks
in dead faint, or did she hide her gen.
tie heSd on his shirt-bo~om % conceal
her blnshesi No, sho didn't, and she
didn't say, "rm ev@ thine. my own
love, dear Williaml" Oh, my, no.
She looked straight into his yellow eyes
and says .--.-.-.. b.
"Pm in, Billy; I'm the gal for these
sort oiIhings, Go inf"
And instead Of referring him to her
father, she only said,-
won't the old man bust right out
when you tell himi Ha hal" and she
laughed.
But she didn't ask William to try to
mollily her fond father. No, no. She
very wickedly advised him to "poke
the old gentleman in the nose if he gave
him any of his lip" She was funny
girl, this Mary.
Now, the old man wasn't wealthy, for
he sold soap-fat for living, and so he
didn't think Bill was nosiug around for
his stamps; so, when Bill asked him, he
neither ordered him fercely away, nor
did the dewey moisture gather in his
eagle eyes as he passed his hem-stitched
up there and said, Bless you, my chill
dren, bless you'll" Oh, no, nothing of
the sort. He just blew his old red nose
on his bandanna and told Bill to take
her along, for he was glad TO get rid of
her, he was, and William would be the
same way mighty soon, for she was awful
rough ON victuals, and always broke
plates when she got mad
So you see, there really was no necssi-
ty for William to come at midnighps
solemn hour, in a cab, and throw rope
ladder up 20 her window, and whistle
three times on his fngers, and go up hand
over hand, and bring her down on one
hand and her trunk in the other, aud
band-box and umbrella under each arm,
and a whole lot Of other bundles, and
then get in the cab and fly to some dis
tant shore. That's the way il would have
been in novel; bat Bill said he wasn't on
that lay, so he just went out into the
back yard, and out of pure joy, he
skinned the cat three or four times ON
the grapevine arbor. and then went and
got his butcher-cart, and drove her right
down to the magistrate, 10 get the job
done for a quarter-for he said he was
some on the low price, he was.
But the very greatest thing Of all was,
that Bill had no tall. dark, rufianly ri
val with ..scowling visage and black
whiskers, who few at him with drawn
dagger and hOrse-pistol in each hand.
and muttered curse upon his bps, and
cried wildly for "revengel Hal bal"
and said DEATH" and "Villian. thou
diestl" Not any. There was another
fellow in love with Mollie, 10 be sure.
but he was a weak-eyed young man who
bad sandy hair and wore spectacies and
a choke collar, aud always looked scared
when you hollered at him. So, when he
saw Bill had the best of the girls alice
tons, he looked all serene, and said, $50
in, Billy, If you banker for herr and !
as Billy was, trine on the banker, be
sailed right in.
So WilliaDl, you see, hedno troubleAt
you couldn't got up an asoniz-
ing novel about him If you tried. He
didn't have any urgent business that