Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1873-07-10

The Agricultural Bureau reports
that the wheat crop is looking fully
as well as at this season last year. Oats
and rye promise an increased yield.
Mrs, Dunniway has announced her.
self a candidate for the Mayoralty of
Portland, Oregon, because she thinks
that political distinctions on account Of
sex should be Dunni-way with.
An exclusive feminine life assurance
company is in process of organization.
II will be stock, not mutual, for moth
ing that begins with "mute," could
possibly gain favor with the fair sex.
The Adcaace says that at the Christ
ian Labor Union "Mr. Trask tried to
get hearing for his anti-tobacco ideas,
but was called to order by man who
wanted The floor talk against hair
dyes
punch thinks that some people are
never c0ntentcd. After having all
their limbs broken, their heads smash.
ed, and their brains Knocked out. they
will actually go to law and try to get
further damages.
When beautiful young women are
found stone-blind drunk in the streets
of Memphis, kind hearted Christian
gentlemen haul them into their door
yard and set them up against the house
to sober of. This is from the Appeal.
An old Scottish beggar, with bon
net in hand, appealed to q Clergyman
for "a bit oil charity Tho minister
put q piece of silver into his hand.
THANK ye, sir; oh, thank We! I'll give
yc an afternoons hearing for this ane
o these days"
A Georgia deacon, who had been a
stout opponent Of new organ which
his church had purchased, when called
upon recently to close the service, said,
"Call upon the machine! If il can
sing the glory of God. it can pray, too.
Call on the machinc!''
At an examination of candidates for
the civil service one OF the questions
propounded was: "What clerical ex-
pcricnce have you had, if any?" To
this one aspirant had appended his
written answer: "Lutheran" Anoth-
err wrote Methodist little
A pretentious hypocrite, who was in
the habit of praying so yociferonsly
that his neighbors and persons passing
in the street could hear him, was qui-
city informed by his pastor one day
that if she would get a little nearer to
God he wouldn't have to pray so hard"
An exemplary lady OF our acquaint-
ance who was about to send some
what faded black silk gown to the
dyer's. had her mind changed by hap
pening to open her PRAYER book at the
hymn, Sinner, turn. why will We
dyer" and she turned it accordingly.
Two daughters of William r. Gala
CHER, in the town Of CORTLAND. Ill.
this year ploughed and put in eighty
acres of small grain. One of these
girls, Miss Nancy. did the ploughing,
while the other. Miss Adelia, sowed
the grain and narrowed it in. They
ought to be enfranchised forthwith
Gen. Mackenzie, the Mexican raider,
is said to be the most wounded man in
the army. He has had bullet thro'
his lungs, which has greatly diminish
ed his conversational powers; he has
lest the use Of his fingers he has been
perforated by an Indian arrow and a
large assortment of bullets received
during the rebellion.
A girl of twelve years. at Rolling
Prairie. Ind, has such mania for
horses that she frequently imagines
herself one, and will eat grass. stamp,
kick, &c. She will frequently get up
in the night, harness her fathers team,
and drive miles away, or until she is
overtaken and brought back. She will
even go to the neighbors and hitch up
their teams and run away with them.
A venerable matron of the old
school. in the whaling burg of Peter
head, Scotland, hearing that comet
was expected to appear, which would
perhaps destroy the world, uttered the
following lamentation: "What will
the puir things ava to Greenland do,
when they come hame frae the fishin,
and fin that there's nae warld left till
come.tee?"
"Wil! you keep an eye on my horse,
my son, while | step in and get
drink 2" Stranger goes in and gets
his drink; comes out and finds his
horse missing. where is my horse,
boy?'' "He ruined away, sir" "Did
not tell you to take care of him, you
young scamp" "No, sir; you told
me to keep an eye on him, and so
n In o1 rf s.rht
The following is the Anamosa cure
for the Swancy
one half pint alcholl
one half Winiger
too Ounses acafortes
four fourths castee Sope
Boyd in Erthcn guge ten minutes
2 ounses oyle Off spike
Please don't tell the artickles onley
how to youse it
An English school board in Bank
shire recently settled PRAYER diff
Guilty rather adroitly. 1T is strong
Catholic district, and on the board are
two Episcopalian clergymen, one dis
senting minister, the parish priest. and
the factor. Prayer was proposed. The
priest objected. The ministers agreed
to take it in turn, and to listen to the
priest If the priest would listen to
them. The priest, Modified. agreed 10
listen. but not TO pray.
An INSCRIPTIONS lawyer, when on
mining excursion, was descending
deep shaft by means ola rope, which
he held tight i'm his hand. He called
ont to a clergyman who stood at the
Top: "Doctor, as You have not confined
your studies to geography, but know
all things from the surface to the GEN.
Ter, pray how far ii is from this TO the
bottomless pit in the Internal regions ?"
II can not exactly ascertain the dis
lance" replied the divine, ..but let 60
your hold and you will soon know"
The following reliable item is in cir
culation:
Hailstones as large hens eggs,
which resembled and tasted like gum
M ShS,s, rnll lat