Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1873-11-25
HUMOROUS
A little nonsense now and then
Is relished by the wises, men"

" 10 be!-A verb,
The child who cried for an hour
didn't get it.
\ fast friend-the telegraph.
Cruelty to Misunderstanding physic
to the dogs.
Newspapers are ordinarily minis or
grave yards. 81 says an exchange.
The the first paper that publishes
'Beau;i;ui Soow' this year, will be
adv stised .ratuitously.
Respect for Old age never had a
brighter illustration than in the case
Of the Young lady who always refuses
10 90 tn the wash-tub when her moths
er or grandmother is present.
Prot. i. 4. SoPhocles, OF Harvard
College. is going to Europe for few
months visit, Probably going to see
old Damoc,es, Pericles, Rapides,
Canthardies and other Suchasthese.
General Washington's family Bible
is advertised for sale 1t is three
large quarto volumes, and the public
are graqely informed that it was
presented to Gen Washington by the
author.
"Miss c." said a gentleman. one
evening, why are ladies so found OF
officers" ''How stumpid % replied
Miss c.; lit is not natural and
roper that a lady should ike good
offer, Sir?"
This is from the Augusta. Ga .,
Cbronicle: ID =Iinquent subscribers
should not permit their daughters to
wear this paper for a hustle There
being so much due on it. there is
danger OF taking cold"
a gushing. but mgrammatical ,
editor says: We have received a
basket OF fine grapes from our friend
-, for which he viii please accept
our compliments, some OF which are
nearly an inca circumference.
a paper called the Interior is pub
iishcd At Stanford, Ky, and a cor
respondent says that from his knows
ledge of the editor, he is Enabled to
state positively that he will throw I
great deal Of spirit into his Interior
Thomas said father to his son
don't let that girl make fool Of
you. Look sharp. Remember the
adage that love is blind 20, that
adage won't wash said Tom: talk
about love being blind. Why, I see
ten times Us much in that girl as
you do
\ p.ous but uneducatcd Judge
closed a sentence with following
touching reproach: Prisoner at the
bar, nature has endowed YOU with a
good education and respectable family
connections. instead of which you
90 round the country stealing ducks
a peculiar way OF diNcharing Pr'R-
tiers exists in the Dayton. o, Offices.
Each compositor has a nail to hang
his coat on, and when the foreman
concludes to dispense with the ser
vices of one of the hands. he takes
hammer and drives the nail in to the
head
M -, L.,:.
my M NV S T very 1 1 ous. I
'i''ii IA I've" 'e'e'S' l1''S' "e'" "
} o'''S man w. u "0N ., '''- '..''i'. j"
d ''e'u I'e''' en-, '"' ""'" 1'''
PsII''e oes-''' - ii'o u" " '"0 ~ ~
LOOK '' Tue :'C''ln' 'pe1 Io""" ''.e'
d 'i'l.' s'r,'u'''S ~ ''I va Pn' - a'''-
- SCI ''S mug 'o"' ~ '"' O''"u'
says London letter. The money
taker being unavoidably absent, VAS
temporarily replaced at the eXhlbi-
tloD OF The bearded lady and other
natural phenomena by pretty, bright
eyed girl OF about fourteen "ltaw l
suppose the--the-er bearded lady
Is your mother observed q swell as
he paid his money. Nor. sir, said
the eXtempore money>taker, naively;
she's my father.
., ,, -.
clergyman had gone on Win the ser