The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-27

The advent of . wild cut broke up
wedding in Missouri the other evening.
Thee wanted to introduces new claws
in the marriage 'ceremanyl
"a traveller seated at hotel table in
Omaha ordered beef and when the
waiter Delayed, the traveller went to tho
kitchen, found him, and flung him over
the range and broke his skull.
When we asked man lev days ago
what induced him to make law student
Of his son, ho replied "Oh, he always
was lying little cuss, and thought
Id humer his leading propensity"
A writsr called at hiu printers, and
accused the eompositor OF not ha wing
punctuated his poem, when TIE typo
earnestly repliad, ain not pointer; l
am a setter"
"Whare did you get that turkey ?"
said a colonel to recruit, who came
intS camp with fine bird "Stoe it -
was tae Iaeonic answer. "Ah" said
thscelonel. 'emy b,ys may steal, but they
won't lieo
a, good looking lady recently entered
dyer's shop, aud thus accostod him:
"You are the man. that dyes, are you
not" "No," replied the gallant, II
am the mau that lives; but will dye
tOr Jou"
Mrsl MaDgawkin says that much as
she loves Mr. Maegawkin, as highly as
she respects his virtues and learning,
there is one thing at least that she will
not put up With, aud that is his eating
peanut candy in bed
The Aiken Tribune plaintivcly de-
scribes the situation in that town as fol
lows "Rain plohty; greenbacks
scarce; cotton iruiting slowly rust in
creasing rapidly; planters looking
gloomy hard times come again no
more"
The most appalling case of deafness
outside ofan asylum wasthar of an old
lady who lives just across the street from
anavy-yard. The other day they fred
a salute of twenty -one guns. The old
Ady was Observed to start and listen as
the last gun was fired, and then she
exclaimed, "Come inv'
T..
IA Sunday school teacher was explain
ing tho omnipresence OF the Deity to
his scholars, aud ended BY telling thcm
that he was everywhere. Wheroupon
Q rsd.hc boy asked: "Is he in my
pocket p The teacher replied thai tho
question was rather proiane, but he
you'd answer, "Yes, He was every.
where" HI'vo got you there" said the
boy III ain't got no pocket"
Victor Hugo has nearly ready new
novel on the French Revolution of
1898. 4 If Victor can't do any better
than he has been doing he ought to bs
yanquished, and France might make
him tho basis of some suoh agreement
with Germany as this-that sho
i(France) vii! put Hugo under feather
bad and smother him, if Germany will
do the same with Louise Muhlbach.
Thsre is lively stable keeper VIII
Voh't let his herses to anybody without
'sxacting promise that she will drive
slow" One day yeuth, who wa nted
TO SO 10 funeral, applied to tho livery
man for n horse. "My friosa, you can
bare one if you will agree to drive
slow" "well, eco here, I'm ,ing to
funeral, and Pm bound to keep up with
che preessston ifit kills The horse"
The Duly Li@on Hsralf says: An
old culvort which had been filled up,
had been washed out by the water, which
was running like mill race, deep and
surgiBg like a torrent. Into this abyss
sbe engine with four men were plunged,
they having scarcely moments warn
ing of the impending danger. For a
long way each side was the swamp, now
almost like lake, being Inundated,
and The track was the only passage.
Tho Republicans have nominated
their ticket for Aldermen, which repre-