The Lincoln County herald., 1873-05-14


than brains. Strive to be in yourself
the greatest good, aud ,hes follow the
maxim. The greatest good to the great
est number"
If elected, as doubt not you will be,
you will, rs soon as the returns are all
10 and sufficiently counted to assure your
success, 60 with the vhole crowd, with a
hurrah, to the nearest eroeshop aud treat
and get drunk as rapidly and as fooishly
as you can. You will mount the counter
of the shop, tramp trlumpbantly among
the tunblers damn the eIpense, make
1t oil right 10 tho morning.-and har-
rangue the constastly thirsty and ever.
increasing crosd upon the glories Of our
beloved country, from the treason Of
Benedict Arnold down to the Pacific
railroad. You will refer to the fact that
we can whip all nations, particularly
Great Britain. You will at last, as you
begin to sober up a little, lower your
voice to loving and sepulchfal whisper,
and pay tribute 10 our national banner
aud the patriot fathers OF the republic
in which latter catalouge. may l not
ask you, my son, that you will rene NJ bcr
the by saying, with tears in your eyes,
among whom is numbered, am proud
to say, gentlemen, is my reverend father.
One or two campaigns like this will
finish your apprenticeship to patriotism.
but oow. as you will begin to be noticed
as a promising man a greater degree OF
prudence is advisable:
All through your apprenticeship you
will have observed to tell no lie. The
time to lie comes later in life. The peo.
lie will not swallow lie from a young
man, knowing it to be such. You may
be fool or a drunkard, you may be a
gambler, and horse racer, and also keep
a fighting dog; but you must not lie until
you are old enough and have earned suf.
hcient fame 10 make the lie stick. a
useless lie is worse than abstract truth,
and to espouse either will ruin patriot.
Let your humble followers tell your lies
for you. and leave abstract truths to PHI.
losophers, preachers, women and editors,
Let it be the rule Of your life to attempt
10 good thing until you are sure it will
win, aud then, my son, study to De the
loudest aud most enthusiastic in your
advocacy, Always wait for the public
voice. The IN jesty Of the public is
your sovereign, aud it is the duty Of
courteous knight to fatter his liege.
This is true chivalry.
You will have no opinion 10 express
on religious matters, and, except in zen
cral rhetorical way, you will avoid all
mention of the public morals until the
populace rise against some overbearing
evil then, my son, be prepared TO take
he lead with a fire and fury Of righteous
Indignation, which shall win golden
opinions from all sorts of people.
Be careful TO give something in a pleas
ant ostentatious manner, to all charitable
institutions and petitions. l advise you
to marry. And let your wife be ono who
may win to your side, or at leastlend you
the ears of, large and influential class OF
church going people; but you must be
very careful until late in life, to be 10 no
way committed to any matters Of belief.
10 be believer is good in follower, but
your leader never believes.
Asto christopher. No true states
man in America plays anything but
poker. And if you will hand me pack
Of my Congressional cards from the
eseritoire-in the stationery drawer,
under my "frank"-I will show you the
best tricks in the patriotic game. But
alas my dear son, you need not get them.
forgot, in the moment of bright
memory, that am too weas-too weak,
did hope to show you the committee
shuttle and the appropriation draw, "
but alas, farewell! Mans life is but a
shadow.
My son, my breath fails mel am
faint-I cannot cay much more. Bu,
there is bright future before you. l
shall leave you means enough to put you
above being q "cheap" man. And
hope, since | have pointed out to you
the proper course, that you will inv es'
your talents and character in the govern
ment so that the investment will pay
not the government, but you.
Now draw near to me, that l may place
my hand upon your head and confer upol
you fathers dying benson.
Bless you my son, bless you be-
queath to you my interest and my So
lcitude in "the best government tina,
God ever made" Stand by the govern
ment, my son stand close to it-clin.
to it - especially to the treasury of the
country. Therein are the solace of peac,
|, and the sinews Of war. Watch over thes,
guard them, and, if you can, carry them
home with you to love and to cherish
and. also
Here his jaws fell, his eyes set and tn,
soul of an American patriot Statesman
wended its way to the New Jerusalem
where the "slreets are paved with gold
and corner lots are open to "location."