Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-02
Miscellaneous.

a(>hildren," said a considerable mat,
ron 10 her assembled proyencg, ssci:ii-
dren, YOU may have everything you
want. hut you mustn't waut anything
YOU can't have
A worthy old farmer, who was be-
ing worried in his cross-exainiaa'ioh
by q lawyer in Maine, exclaimed:
eLook here, 'Sqnire, don't YOU ask a
rood many fooish questions
Susan b. Anthony says she
wouldn't be frightened CT standing
face to face with SATAN. Su'au at-
mits thar the scare would be OH Lis
side.
An Iowa j~us:iee ef .'.e peace re-
fused to EGe - mt'.tsJ >t:ssa SRA
against her Wti.e III, Z enast az
Hannah codid i-.se t..t.a hiI', .tii
uid not.
..What was ,!tr rc>ul, of the trail.
Of that h1r>S&stc.ia = h-hGd u L: M
sian Of lis urisan. :. 'bh, ic ".i>
left hanging in sw.semsi,' was Tie
reply.
The Mayfcld. Ky, ladies' arc su*''
ACCOMPLISHED chiu : mu>.cia"s tat
their tongues are frequently sun
burnt. SO says the local paper oi The
-place.
A German whose wife t%k's in
washing Tor their >tcuance. ci.s.'.s
that he earns his living by tic sweat
ofShis vrow.
ACouEect:eut woman was recently
5bercit of the faculty O. speech by
being hit with a snowfall, and many
married men in that pars OF II
country have been ltearu 10 remark
that, after all, Winter has advantages
mot afforded by any other eason
A young gentleman III New York
called a coach-dog i Dalmatian hound,
and was informed by his iiance that
ifhe could not refrain from profanity
in her presence, they must hcuceturth
be strangers
Those reports ofcarthquake shocks
from Illinois were eccasionca by the
Inhabitants OF the asue districts gel
ting their work III at the sanic mo-
townships.
a Newfoundland dog, i'll Portland
Me-, which was pcstercd by o sinai
B dog, endured the inliciion iorawniie
and then took the cur III his tculi
and held him under wafer i'll Roc!
Cove until he was drowned.
The man who fits Shoes in this lifl
expects 10 have other o. :upa;ion i
the next, for he says the saints wea
nothing but robes of glory. and
you 60 to the other place, they are u!
cloven-fOoted.
Boston young ladies put on a clea'
noir nf cfo,t,nrs y r.in, fi,., Lea
their photographs taken; but ate
figuring over the question Tor sercra
years Professor Agassiz says he doc
not know why they do so.
A lady was examining al applican
for the Office of maid-of-aIi-work
when she Intercepted her Il follows
swell, Mary, can you scour tin-war,
with alacritv I" "NO, ma'am;
always scour them with sand"
"Tell that man to take off his la
in court" said the judge the otl,e'
morning to an officer. The offender
who turned out 10 be q lady wearing
the fashionable sailor hat, Indignant
ly enclaimcG: Il am no man, sir!'
"Then," said his honor, II am IL,
judge"
A father recently found his littl
girls chubby little hands Pull of til
blossoms of beautiful rose tree, 0
which he had bestowed great a
"Mv dear" said he, Ibid l not tc
you not 10 pluck ono of these tree
without leave - eyes, papa" sal
the child" but all these had leaves.
Detroit Free Press: A boy, abo,
ten years old, came bluhbering in,
the Central station yesterday moo,
and when asked what Tie matter Wa
he replied: You see, | said my do
Sam could lick Billy O'Grady:s Go
Bose, and I'd bet stamps on it. Sa.
went i'll for to do it, and he'd q shoe
that pup, sure, only Billy he put snu
on his dog, and Sam got to coughi.
and sncezing, and Bose loored hi
and chewed him till he couldn't ho
ler-gimme a warrant for him."
At O church in Scotland whel
there was q popular call; two cand
dates offered to preach Of the nam
of Adam and Low. The last preacilc
in the morning, and took for tex
"Adam, where art thou?" lie mas
f. most excellent discourse, ard I.
congregation was much edited. ]
the evening Mr.. Adam preached, al
100 Tor his text "Lo, here am |
The impromptu and his serme
gained for him the church.
The %poetaster of the Mempl
Avalanche thus expresses his disgu
at the prevailing weather:
Dirty day have September.
April. June and November;
From January up to May,
The rain 1t rainelh every day.
All the rest have tiirty-one,
Without a blessed CLEAN u; s,iu
Andifany one OF them had two and tl,irl
They'd be just as wet anu twice as dirty.
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