The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-08-30
'Trrom the BOSTON Globe.1
u.e vsua. Monkeys. :

,.s.as.usss.ussrrs
sfIrrom the foston GIobe.1
.prsyfng Monkeys. !.
.ntan,s ancestor. the monkey, Is stu Eeee.s'
;na . GREAT deal of scientific considera Ii9l,.
rsSe ;mnorfant question, whether an a L.,,,
.,areh hmm oyerlaDs his cerebellum, naa pesn
se and il was found that tarPan'
u1.. aatherers have opposable toes. Mr. par
suin Settled the fact that the early pIoGsn ,r
FORA of MN were once covered VIII no,.
hntf, sexes having boards; that tnelI ea's
,uare nointed and capable of movement, an ~,
that their bodies were provided Win u,n
having The proper muscles. All tniss ~.
sov had been settled, but man nad not yes
hsen sufficiently degraded; he still possess
come intellectual qualities which raised liln
obnye the stationary ascidian; proiesseu
religion which separated him from tue pen
s;ve gorilla and the poetic cn'mpanIe'e
Science was perplexed; its disciples ~eie
= n,,andary. At last happy alternat,ve W.
reached: if man could not be loWereu W W.. .o
level of beasts. animals might De ihteu W
the height of man. Humanity, IL was uue,
m, lonSer munched thistes but, on ti y, Q
other hand. had not tbistle-eaters sou'
Tbis ia the present aspect OF WhaI III: peel
called Darwinism, and the question Is iup.
idjy mssjug to the affirmative stage VI tne
" n is now claiued that monkeys have re.
1;oio,,s sentiment, and that they pay great
osre 70 their dead. 1t seems that someooGy
shot female monkey and carried the Do4.
to his tent. Fifty monkeys surrounoeo tns
tent and expressed their emotions ID the Ias,
arvan language. The sportsman, VINO li.u
undoubtedly been studying the Rosetta
stone. understood that his ancestors were
demanding their slain companion, Wneh
this was given up. venerable antoroporh
nhilosonber took it into bis arms, as syn
rovfuI expression stole over his coun,e'
nance and bore it to his companions. MI
lanes Forbes, who relates this touchihs
.nerdote. opines that the primitive reiSiop
nhe worship of our ancestors is sharea oS
the lowest sarages and ihe highest apes
The reasons for this conclusion are not gwen
lint this is no argument against lts trttn'
The scientific "If" here, as elsewhere, CO.
ve,s a multitude of stupidities. Inc scleli,
tifc If. by the way, is the most usetni anu
awe-inspiring word in the EngIlsn IaI'
mage and IS, moreover, the basis OF sucn
modern theories. Take the II away from
natural selection, and the theory ceases 10 De
of anv value; man is no longer monkey
monkey no longer IN oyster. when Mr.
Dorwin converted bear into Wnae, or
olonoated the neck of 4 deer until the AMI
nal turned into giraffe, the success OF bis
magic was entirely due to this little WORD.
C;eolorv is also a science OF cOnJunctlons,
but il has not rs vet reached the perfection
If q familiar nursery ALTERATION. Children
very naturally ask, If Peter Piper picked =
neck of picked peppers, tchere is the peck OF
oickled peppers Peter Piper picked? Modern
science is less scientific; it asserts that il
Peter Piper picked peppers, peppers were
picked by Peter Piper. II monkeys have
religious sentiment, why monkeys have IN
religious sentiment. If an
lscidian produced man, man was produced
~ an ascidian. The beauty of this theory
5 in its universal applicability; it is only
to admit the premises, and the con-
fusion cannot be OyerthrOwn.
Mr.. Darwin, for example, tells US that the
stripes OH a tiger are beneficial, his only rea.
on for the assertion being chat tiger IS
striped. If tiger were spotted, spots
would be beneficial; if it were not marked
It all, plaiuness would be an advantage. The
ong neck of giraffe is beneficial, but if it
lad a small neck the case would be the same.
The opponents of Darwinism arc ridiculed
because they give no reasons for their disbe-
ief. vet the burden of proof is with the sup
porters of the theory. Darwinism would be
IN impossibiity if 20 statement were receiy-
I'd without proof. In fact, ask DarWlnlan
o 90 back to first principles, and he is in
greater difficulty than the advocates OF the
'peciaI-creation hypothesis. Both the one and
he other hotly argue about phenomena, OF
which they cannot possibly know anything
absolute. knowledge is limited, a fact for
gotten by many modern scientists and
by many enthusiasts, who Imagine
hat the discovery of one link in
IN endless chain Is the finding the
limits of the chain itself. Hcine. in
1ne of his satirical poems, sings OF The quar-
rcls between the advocates OF two rival reli-
,ions. The dispute waSed warm, and tue
decision was at length left to royalty. On
the appointed day there was great gather
my of the diSputints, who appeared before
Ile King aud Queen. The pros and cons
were argued for many hours, until the royal
umpire began to grow sleepy. When the
were concluded the King left the
decision to his royal companion, who, turn
ug to the expectant religious enthusiasts,
the opinion that they both were in
very unwholesome condition. This very
wise decision will serve TO express the con-
iition of the two opposing armies of scien-
lists, who are wasting time, patience, and
energy over trifles, travelling in circle and
eyhausting both their readers and them
selves. The effects of such arguments are
seen in the many toad and snake stories now
going the rounds of the press. At no other
time have there been so many old women
who remember to have seen Washington.
In former days Il pestilence was announced
by the appearance of flaming comet; in
the present day every fresh scientific diScOv.
cry IS uslered in with equally important
signs. When Mr.. Darwin published bis
= Descent of Man," whale was washed
ashore ON the coast of Nantucket; when it
was discovered that monkeys possessed re-
igious sentiment the sea-serpent was seen
in several places at the same time. As sci
ancc advances, these portents will become
more numerous, until even monStrous goose
berries will become 4 drug in the market.
In the mean time it is somewhat cruel TO un-
scientific humanity to assmilate them with
praying monkeys and asinine philosophers.
Flnging mud at mans divinity may be u
very amusing occupation, but it has ceased
~ be novel. The new theory that monkeys
ire religious may be true; but if SO, it is a
bitter satire on iufidel scientists. Monkeys
ind an efficacy in prayer; it is only their
wise descendants who. with more brains,
have less reverence than their ascldlan an
.estOrs.
A poor, lone widow, with seven children
md q sore throat, paid the necessary taxes
and took six dogs from the Milwaukee