Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1873-07-23
WONDERS NEVER cEAsE

We have lately been subjected to q
most alarming series of shocks result
ing In the complete prostration OF our
nervous system. Nitro-glyceriEe ex-
plosions. balloon accidents, Goodrich
mysteries, Spanish Republican re-
verses, Shah celebrations, anti-Chinese
riots. stock tumbles, Dutch in
A,cheen, trade dollars, cholera, rail-
road s~laushters, huge trout, Bis
marck's opinions, the wrecked Attain
tic and City Of Washington, third term
aspirations, Allen county resolutions,
Carpenters speech on back pay, and
Farmers Oranges have each contrib
uted. through the telegraph. to the
overthrow Of our normal equilibrium.
aud the m~ystitication Of our naturally
sparkling intellect. The final blow to
our reason has at last, however, fallen
and we succumb. As the lightning
often in q clear sunlit atmosphere
darts across the heavens, and reuds
with fierce force and instantaneous
CONFUSION the sturdy eaken growth Of
centuries, so did the lightning last
night paralyze II senses, stagger our
belief and squelch our normal nature,
through the medium Of a telegram.
Our Senior is about to splice, COM
mingle, unite, combine, yoke, and
travel hereafter in the Benedictine
paths Of cornubial serenity. He has
resolved, his mind Is made up; like the
laws Of the Modes and Persiaus, the
resolution Is Interchangeable. He leaves
without regret the buttonless shirts
and undarncd hose OF his free bsche-
lorhooj. and plunges bravely into the
responsibilities Of welded life. We
welcome him speaking from the other
shore Of the river which to-mor-
row ho will crossl to the
quiet security aud peaceful comforts
OF the sect Of Benedicts. For u
bachelor compatriot and the whole
News office tall Of whom are singlel.
We bid him 4 long, a last. a lingering
farewell. This office celebrates, yet
mourns. Tho solitary married nan
who pens this hasty sketch, felicltates
hlm.elf upon the coming event. The
remainder Of the office look gloomy
and indulge In Ice water. We would
like to be OH mot in) the middle OF
Lake Tahoe Tomorrow. In fancy We
see the wedding party setting forth
from Uncle Vescy's something In this
order: first, the parson in a skiff, hold
Ing a sun umbrella over his head and
propelled by a solitary oarsman; Sec
oud, the bride in a larger craft,
manned by six stalwarr sailors with
gilded oars ; the boat Is covered with \
canopy Of silk, the American flag is
floating at the masthead and all Is
lovely {; she is also accompanied by the
ever present bridesmaids third, weep
ing and joyful friends; fourth. the
hero Of the romance. our Senior, seated
astride of one Of Capt. Pray's saw
logs, which has been fantas:ically
decorated for the occasion with copies
OF the Gold Hill News. The lone star
flies from the stern Of his craft and
the Union Jack at the bow; sixth and
last comes Spykens, the Sancho Panza
Of our Don Quixote, i~nconsolable. and
towing behind him a still more discon-
ISOLATE mermaid, whom his master Is
about TO desert forever. This COM
pletes our picture. II it be faulty 1t Is
the result Of IL shock aforesaid, and
Of the ice water consequent thereon.
We close abruptly, but II we had the
Graphic balloon we would hover over
Lake Tahoe tomorrow.