The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-01-11
HOME MATTERS.
PEPPER AND SALT.

A good name for q saloon: Drunk Factory"
There 10 ono in Ottawa that daily and nightly
turns out nice samples Of its work, done to per-
lection 1t 10 told US that some time ago, in
very cold spell OF weather, farmer came to
town and, among other purchases, obi lined
jug Of whisky. Putting the jug in his sleigh,
ne went about his business awhile, and on re-
turning to his sleigh and essaying to drink,
found the whisky frozen solid He had TO break
the jug to get at the ''craythur,' which was
frozen in a chunk Just the shape of the interior
OF the jug. When he wanted a drink or nip"
he just broke off a piece and ate it. In few
days after he again appeared in town at the same
store where he got his jug filled, and throwing
down an empty grain sack. exclaimed: "There.
fill that with whisky" The grog dispenser was
disguised :. During the holidays Henry Wal
ther has had in front CT his establishment
mans head a. sign, to attract attention. For
the information of people who have delicate
nerves, We state that the head was made only of
pasteboard. 1t was representation Of jolly
old cove, with his face sill wreathed IN smiles,
and smoking cigar. The cigar was real one.
Some young ''gsleots" Of late having got in the
habit OF appropriating the cigars fast as Mr..
Walthsr could put them in the pssteboard, Mr.
". "soared,' and concluded to wind up those
tricks. He had few dozen cigars put up on
the boye. Within few hours after Walther
began to put these peculiar cigars into the mouth
Of the image a number of young smokers were
astounded with pyrotechnic displays never be.
fore heard OF or seen in cigars. young fellow
would be seen leaning with fashionable lsnguor
on the edge Of . billiard table, or assuming an
attitude Of stunning gracefulness, with has back
against bar in some saloon, In such position
as to show off to the best advantage his IS cent
brsastpin, vhsp suddenly his cigar would con.
vert itself into young skyrocket, and whizzing
In ssrpsnt.lik- path through the air, explode
ssd fall in shattered fragment. to the floor or
sputter from is glowing end tiny balls Of fire and
brown SMOKE, combining the delicate flavor of
tobacco with the war.like odor of powder. In
one or two instances these cigars ex ploded under
the Nsses OF the smokers. Ose fellow now goes
about in . state of deep disgust He has ordered
timer TO set him up q nice nose OF gli.tering
tin, while he has since not been able to blow his
old pess with any satisfaction, because theirs
isn't much Of it left, and what remain. Of it i.
too complicated to be very useful and, as an or
Aamsntsl concern, 10 miserable failure
Some men raise valuable dogs and some do not
There's Sam. p, 4 respectable citizen, who
knows something about farming, but, as dog
fancier. il scs success. A fellow lately stole
Sans hest fen hound and took him TO Ottaws
and tried - speculate upon him He offered
him for - ssa drink, then lowered him to s.
and drink. and finally to 81 and drink, and
after travelling around town all day with tina
animile," beeAne disheartened and threw Of
the money part Of the consideration and cam
down 20 plain drink. Even that failed, an 4
as IL last chance to get rid Of the beast. bad f
give man 90 cents 70 take the dog. Then h
bought drink for ten cents ana left the town
but Sam 10 still not happy .... Scmc time ago
number OF prominent Ottawas-ie, citizens O
this city, we're at Chicago, and at hotel wher,
Japsntss !sgglors were staying. One OF the OF
tsvs chaps il small in statute, with large fore
head, black hair and piratioal rnoustache Wher
he chooses he gets into tragic attitudes; thel
he is fearful to look at without protection to thu
eyes. He had been in conversation with a yer,
tall chap, an Ottawa lawyer. A mule attached
to horse car had bitten the short party, and h
was denouncing the city council of Chicago TO
not pstting muzzles on the mules. When h
was explaining his opinion OF this outrage on
peaceabls stranger, OF course he was mad, ant
people all around shrank back with ins,inctiv
fear. When he got through he went off acros
the room 10 ease his mind in private swear
gaunt individual, who had observed the will
jesticulstions of the gentleman alluded to- ap
preached the tall lawyer aud innocently in
quired: "ssy, Mr., be you the mousger o
them ERE Japan fsllers'' Lawyer. "Me! NJ
sir. What made you think so?" Wall,
ejsculated the yreenhern, "'cause seed you
! tslkin' to one on 'em just now ~. There is
} sweet young lady in the country, some wher
south OF Ottawa, who has pet goose She ha
that goose so educated that it will come up whe
called by name and open its mouth to cate
, corn from the fair girls hand. When we hear,
of this We thought OF the old csmpAin song
"Ob, We wish We were goose, eating corn "
just for the sake of being called pet names an
fed "reglar" by the hand of some fairy.
LocKEs NATIONAL MoNTuLY.-Ths secon
number Of Locke's National Monthly is on GU