davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
NOW TO PICK OFT A wIFE.

Find girl that IL 10 years old last May,
about the right height with blew eye, and
dark brown hair and white teeth.
Let the girl be good to look at, not too phond
of musk, a firm disbeleaver in ghosts, and
one ov six children in the same family.
Look well to the character ov her father !;
see that he is not the member of any club,
don't bet ON elekshuns, and git shaved at least
3 times a week.
Find out about her mother, see if she haz
got a heap ov good common sense, study
well her likes and dislikes, eat sum ov her
hum-made bread and apple-dumplins, noise
whether she abuzes all ov her nabors, ask her
servants how long they hav lived thare, and
don't fail to observe whether her dresses are
last years ones iixt over.
If you are satisfied that the mother would
make the right kind ov mother in-law, yu
kan safely konklude that the dauter would
make the right kind ov wife.
After this prelimnarys are settled, and yu
have done a reasonable amount ov sparkling
ask the young lady for her heart and hand
and if she refuses, yu kan konsider yourself
euehered.
If ON the contrary, she should say yes, git
married at once, without any fuss and featll-
ers, and proceed to take the chances.
say take the chances, for there amt no
respie for perfekt wife, emmy more than
there is a perfekt husband.
Thare IL just as menny good wives az good
husbands and | never knew too people,
married or single, who were determined to
make themselves agreeable to each other, but
what they suckseeded.
Name yure oldest boy sum good stout name,
not after sum hero, but should the first, boy
be a girl, | ask it az faver to me that
yu kaul her Rebekker.
/ do want some ov them good, old-fashioned
tuff girl names revived and extended
Billings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
-----@A-a-4-
YEAST

Very few people Know that yeast is plant.
To the ordinary observer, it is nothing more
in appearance than thick creamy froth,
which makes the bread rise and the beer
work bHt to the man of science, exsmIning it
with the aid Is microscope, It reveals itself
as the simplest form Of large and very inter-
esting class d pAnnts, The yeast-tres j, ii
fact, d species Or fungus. II is tho simplest
form Of those gsowths If which noulds and
mildews on the one hand, pufl-balls, mush-
rooms, and ruffies, on the other hand, are tho
more highly organized kinds. Yeast. aud the
vinegar plant or "mothern as It is some
times called, are the forms in which it yegc-
tates under various circumstances when well
supplied with food. Mildew, or mould, is its
fruit, and its appearance upon preserved vcge-
table substances or liquids is an indication
that the mischief is far advanced for these
are but the fruits of the fungus, which it only
bears when arrived at maturity. The seeds
or "spores,' from which all these plants are
developed, are so minute that they are con-
stantly waited about by every current of air
and deposited in every spot where they can
find resting place. Their growth is very
rapid, and SO tenacious are they of life that
only the extremes of heat and cold can effect
them.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
BANK or ENGLAND NOTES.

The Bank of England has claimed a su-
periority over all other institutions of the kind
in the world, in the mechanical characteristics
of its notes, the quality of its paper, the exc
cution of the plate printing, type printing etc.
The paper used for this purpose is of a pc
cular white color which is neither sold in the
shops, nor used for any other purpose what
ever; its thnness and transparency prevent
any of the printed part of the note being wash
ed out by turpentine or removed by the knife
unless a hole is made in the place thus prac-
ticed on; and there is a peculiar crispness and
toughness to the paper which enables those
who are accustomed to handling it to distin-
guish instantaneously, by the touch alone,
true from false paper. * 81
Wire marks or water marks are produced in
the paper when III state of pulp, and conse-
quently forger must procure mould, and
make his own paper. But both the work.
manship of the mould, and the manufacture
of the paper, from its intricate surface, require
the greatest skill.
Another popularity is the three deckle edges
of the note. The mould contains two notes,
placed lengthways, these being separated by
the knife in future stage of the manufacture.
The deckle, or wooden frame of the paper
mould, produces that peculiar effect which is
seen on the edges of uncut paper. AS it is
caused when the substance is in the state of
pulp, imitation is extremely difficult. The
strength of this paper is also very great ; thus
in its water-leaf, or unsized condition, note
will support thirty-six pounds, and when one
grain of size has been diffused through it, it
will then lift half hundred weight.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
CAN STEAM BE UTILIZED FOR FUEL.

We have seen frequent mention lately of q
supposed discovery or invention by which
water or steam, in combination with other
substance recongnized as combustable, is
made available for fuel for various industrial
purposes, producing a strong heat with great
economy. The theory is that the water is
resolved into its constituent gasses, oxygen
and hydrogen, of which the latter burns as
true fuel, and the free oxygen adds to the In
tensity of the flame. There is certain de-
gree of plausibility about this, but we suppose
none of the conclusions of modern science are
better established than that of the conservation
of force, from which it follows that the
amount of heat or force required to resolve
water or any other substance into its elements
by their reunion. Now, III ordinary fuel we
have substances composed of carbon and
hydrogen, chiefly, in condition to unite with
oxygen furnished by the air this union is
combustion, and water, compound OF hydro
gen and oxygen, is one of its products. In
order to burn water we must first reverse this
process, separate the two gases, which re-
quires certain definite amount of force, and
then induce them to combine again, evolving
in the process just the same amount of heat
or force. If this is true (as it seems to be-,
there can be no gain in the amount of heat
produced in the combustion of a given quaint
ity of fuel by using the vapor of water i'll con-
nection with it. 1t would be like creating a
mil-power by pumping water into high
reservoir from which it should flow down to
the mill-whcel. Yet some journals processing
to be scientific mention this use of water as
fuel as a valuable invention, and describe ex-
periments, apparently higly successful, in its
application. There may possibly be some
convenience in thus using the vapor Of water
which makes it practically valuable, but to
expect from it economy in the expenditure of
other fuel seems to involve fallacy.- Wor-
chester Spy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

SAM WELLERrsMs.--Yo on don'tm nothin'
friendly, yoU don't, as the rat said to the cat
ven she bit him in the back.
Pm risin' in the world, rs the balloon said
to the bag Of sand and must take care Pm
not burst in the process, as the bag of sand
said to the balloon.
I'll penetrate his heart if he has one us the
mouse said ven he nibbled his way through
the cheese.
It's pretty, but not pleasant, as the monkey
said ven they painted his tail sky-blue.
We don't often see the likes o you in our
part of the world, as the devil said ven one
his imps handed an icecream.
Ven wants You knows Where TO find you,
as the spider said to the fly, ven lie vove his
web all around him to perwent his catching
cold
I've seen you vonce, and don't want to see
you again, as the sick gentleman said to the
devil ven he called ON him one vet AFTERNOON
We don't want too many in this concert at
once, as the boys said ven they got into the
empty sugar-tubs.
That's enough to give one pain in his
back, as the cockroach said ven the Niger
put his foot on him.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

Fossil ELEPHANTS IN ALAsKA-It has been
generally supposed by scientific men that the
fossil elephant of Siberia had no representa-
tives in the same latitude on this continent.
Recent examinations ON the Yukon river, in
Alaska, however, have established the fact
that the remains are even more plentiful on
the west than on the east side of the North
Pacific. Enormous quantities of bones are
found, and supply of ivory sufficient to last
the world for centuries. The valleys of all
the streams and all the low grounds are filed
with bones and tusks, so that every vessel now
arriving from those remote possessions has
the cargo made up in part of these new
found remains. The elephant, whose range
was formerly almost universal, is now confined
to small portion of Africa and Asia, and it
would seem as if the species was in process of
slow extinction. Neither Europe nor Ameri-
ca, which once swarmed with them, has now
either climate or vegetation fitted to their
existence. Their remains, however, are likely
to give Alaska a value not previously sus-
pccted. fsf 800 #5f
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
THE FAITHFUL LOVERS.

I'd been away from her three years-about that
And returned to find my Mary true;
And though I'd question her, did not doubt that
1t was unnecessary SO to do.
Twas by the chimney corner we were sitting;
Mary said l. have you been always true?"
" Frankly" said She just pausng in her knitting
81 don't think I've unfaithful been To YOU
But for the three years past I'll tell you what
I've done then say if Eve been true not
when first you left my grief was uncomfortable,
Alone mourDed my miserable lot;
And all who saw me thought me unconsolable
Till Captain Clifford came from Aldershott;
To hirt with him amused me while twas new;
l don't count thai unfaithfulness. DO your
"The next--oh let me see--was frankie Phipps;
met him al my unce's, Christmas tide;
And meath the mistletoe where lips meet lips,
lie gave me- his first kiss, and here she sighed;
" We STAYED six weeks at uncle's-how time few
don't count that unfaithfulness. Do you?
" Lord Cecil Fossmote, only twenty-one,
Lent nue. his horse. Oh how rode and raced
We secured the downs-we rode to hounds-such fun
And often was his arm around my waist
That was to lift me up down. But who
Would count that unfaithfulness. DO you?
" Do you know Reggy We're? All how he sings!
We met-twas at pie-nic All! such weather.
He gave me- look the first OF these two rings,
When last in Cliefden woods together.
All, what happy time we spent we two
don't count thai unfaithfulness. DO you?
eve yet another ring from him. D'you see
The plain gold cirelet that is shining here p,
/ took her hand "Oh, Mary can 1t be
That you ?-n Quoth she, That am Mrs. We're.
| don't count that unfaithfulness. Do you ?"
" No. replied, :" for am married. TOO n
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
nEcoLLEorIoNs or DON ouIxorE.

Here are few extracts from Don Quixote !:
Beauty in a modest woman is like fire or
sharp sword at a distance neither doth the
one burn nor the other wound those that come
not too close to them.
Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
Self praise depreciates.
The dead to the bier, the living to good
cheer.
All women, let them be ever SO homely, are
pleased to hear themselves celebrated for
beauty.
Squires and kngbt-errants are subject to
much hunger and ill-luck.
Lberality may be carried too far in those
who have children to inherit from them.
Virtue is always more prosecuted by the
wicked than beloved by the righteous.
Every one is the son of his own work
No padlocks, bolts or bars can secure the
maiden as well as her own reserve.
Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
The wittiest person in the comedy is he that
plays the fool.
There is no book so bad, but something
good may be found in it.
we are all as God mace us, ana oftentlmes
great deal worse.
We can not all be friars, and various are the
paths by which God conducts the good to
heaven.
Covetousness bursts the bag.
1t is easy to undertake, but more difficult
to finish thing
This term is equally applicable to all things
Whoever is ignorant is vulgar.
Other mems Mains are easily horne
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

SETTING TRAps.--A frog, who wanted to
cross to the opposite bank of a river, so runs
the fable, met mouse of his acquaintance,
and said,-
"Come with me to the opposite sidc.'
But the mouse said,-
"No, | would rather go around
"By no means' returned the frog, "we
will go together-thc shortest way
"Well, then" continued the frog "let me
fasten one of your feet to one of mine and
will tow you over"
agreed" said the mousse
SO the frog fastened one of his feet to one
of the mouses paws, and swan away with
him into the stream. When they had got
about half way across the mouse was exbaus-
ted, and finding himself sinking, cried out
"Help, my friend, help ] am drowning
treachery am lost some one will repay
you for your cruel deceit -
So saying, he turned over and breathed his
last.
AT that very moment a sparrow-hawk
passed by, saw something like mouse upon
the surface Of the water flew down and carri-
ed it off, and the frog with it.
Morai: Those who set traps for others
sometimes get entrapped themselves.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
Internationally the best sustained seork Of tn
Eissd In the sc0rJd."
HARPER'S MAGAZINE.

The ever increasing circulation of this excellent month";
y proves its continued adaptation to popular desires and
needs Indeed, when think into how many homes 1t
penetrates every month"; must consider IL Of the
educators well entertainers of the public mind for
its popularity has been won by no appeal to stupid
prejudices depraved tastes.-BoStoa Globe.
The character which this Magazine possesses for variety
enterprise artistic wealth. and literary culture that has
kept with If it has lead the times, should its
conductors regard it with jushabe compacency. II
entities them great claim upon the public graft
ude The Magazine has done good and not evil all the
days of its life.-Brookiyn Eagle.
TERMS
HARPER's MAGAZINE, one year, SlO0
An Extra Copy of either the Magazine Hceky or Bdzdr
will be supplied gratis every Club of Fire Subscribers
$500 each in remittance Six Copies for $1,000
without extra copy.
Subscriptions to Hapers Magazine Heekiy and Bdzar
10 address for year. $1,000 two of Harpres
Periodicals. to address for year. 500.
Back numbers can be supplied at any time.
A. Complete Set of Ha,yer's Magazine, comprising
A. Volumes in cloth binding will be sent by express
freight expense of purchaser, for go per volume
Single Volumes by mail postpaid $780, Cloth cases for
binding, IS cents by mail postpaid
The postage Harpers Magdzine is "a cents year,
which must be paid at the subscribers post office.
Address HARPER & BROTHERS. New York.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
81 A Repository Of Fashion, Pleasure and In-
strnction."
HARPER'S BAZAAR.

The Bozar ia edited with contribution of tact and
talent that seldom ind in any journal and the jour
nal itself is the organ of the great world of fashion,
Boston Traveller.
The Basar commends itself TO every member Of the
househodto the children by droIi and pretty pictures
TO the young ladies by fashion plates in endless yare
IT, the provident matron by lis patterns for the chill
drens Clothes p1tedmas by its tasteful designs for
embroidered slippers and luxurious dressinggowns But
the reading matter of the Bdzar is uniformly of great
celenee The paper has acquired wide popularity for
the Preside enjoyment il affordsNeD York Evening Post
TERMS:
H.RpER,s Bazaar. one year $500
An Extra Copy Of either the Magazine Weekly Bosar,
will be supplied gratis for every Club Of Fire Subscribers
at $500 EACH in emittance Six Copies for $1,000
without extra copy
Subscriptions to Hdrpers Magazine Weekly and Basdr
address for year $1,000; or, two of Harpers
Periodicals to one address for one year, 500.
The volumes Of Harpes Basdr for the years 1868
49, TO- III IL elegantly bound in green morocco CLOTH
will be sent by express freight prepaid for 800 each
The postage on Harers Bdzar is 20 cents year. which
must be paid at the s,abscribers post Office.
Address HARPER BROTHERS, New York
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

LANGUAGE AMONG ANIMALs.-M. Houzeau
maintains that not only does each group of
animals possess language which is under
stood by other members Of the same group,
but they can learn to understand the language
of other groups. His dogs, for instance, per-
fectly understood his poultry. Cocks and
hens have one danger signal for the approach
of birds of prey, another for that of terres-
trial animal or for a man. When the latter
was sounded the dogs would rush out and
bark, while to the former they paid no atten-
ton whatever He therefore concludes that
fowls have the power of expressing slightly
different but closely allied ideas, and dogs can
learn to understand these differences.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

THE ENGLISH Coal FAMINE.--Coal has
always been cheap "as dirt " in England, and
much of the prosperity of British manufac-
lures and the comfort of English families
have depended upon the cheapncss of that
only remaining article of fuel. But what
with the strikes of the miners and the gradual
exhaustion of the mines themselves, which
are getting to be too deep to be cheaply work
ed, the people of London are now paying
twice the money for ton of coal which is
paid in this locality. This must involve a
serious hardship. The English income is
much smaller than the American, and the
grip of an increased cost Of warmth, one of
the greatest necessities Of life, will be severely
felt by all having but narrow incomes. But
it has the further effect of increasing the cost
of all manufactures of iron, and may result
in serious commercial disaster involving the
closing of many great shops. England, with
characteristic energy, has outgrown and un-
derminded herself, beside dcvoting more of
cultvable soil to mere pleasure grounds than
any other country can afford.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
ORIGIN or PLANTS.

Madden came from the East.
Celery originated in Germany.
The chestnut came from Italy.
The onion originated in Egypt
Tobacco is native Of Virginia.
The nettle is a native of Europe.
The citron is native of Greece.
The pine is native of America.
Oats originated in North America.
The poppy originated in the East.
Rye came, originally, from Siberia.
Parsley was first known in Sardinia.
The pear and apple are from Europe.
Spinach was first cultivated in Arabia.
The sunaower was brought from Peru
The mulberry tree originated in Persia.
The gourd is probably an Eastern plant.
The walnut and peach came from Persia.
The horse-chestnut is a native of Thibet.
The cucumber came from the East Indies.
The ounce came from the island of Crete.
The radish is a native of China and Japan.
Peas are supposed TO be of Egyptian origin
The garden cress is from Egypt and the
Cast.
Horseradsh came from the south of Europe.
The Zealand flax shows its origin by its
lame.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
sPEEtH-MAKERS.

differently judged of by the reflective or phil
osophic and by the popular mind. To the lat
ter it seems wonderful endowment, and its
possession sure proof of superior abilities.
A man who is able by force of utterance, apt
illustration, ingenuity in meeting objections,
clear statement, and graphic description, to in
terest and control an audience, is thought to
be capable of filling the highest posts to which
he may aspire.
But to those who know how easily the arts
of speech may be acquired by those of medi-
OGRE capacity, and how little of real mental
discipline and grasp of mind-to say nothing
of moral qualties-is demanded the ordinary
speecl,-maker ceases to be a person of much
Importance or interest. A man may have
very little knowledge of a subject, and yet be
able TO conceal his ignorance from those who
know less than himself, and even appear to
them as prodigy of information and of elo-
quence. To success as popular speaker, lit
tie more is needed in addition to a certain in-
tellectual quickness and flexibility, than a
knowledge of the mental condition of his hear
ers, their modes of thought their prejudiees ;
their partalites and antipathies. What audi
ences seek, for the most part, in those who adj
dress them, is not instruction, nor investiga-
ton of truth, nor anything that compels
thought, but an animated and flowing express
sion of their opinions and feelings. To see
themselves reflected in the speaker, to hear
him utter what is in their own minds, but in
do Il tl,a
secret of the power of the popular orator.
1t is plain enough that to be spokesman and
to be the teacher of men are two very unlike
things, and there are hundred of the former
for one of the latter. AS Greece at one period
was full of sophists, clever fellows, who could
talk and teach others to talk with equal glib
ness on all sorts of subjects, so is our country
full of lecturers who talk but do not teach,
who excite but do not inspire. In whatever
field they appear, whether the literary, the
political, or the religious, they all have this
feature in common--that their chief end is to
please. This is Indispensable, for how other
wise are Office and admiration and money to be
gained? To know the popular taste, to keep
in the current of public feeling, to study well
the art of putting tlings,-these are points to
which all others are subordinate.
In an age of real earnestness, these windy
and venal speech-makers would find their vo-
cation rone and men that had something to
say, however hard their way of saying it,
would come to the front. Unhappily. this is
not vet. We are still in the periods of mega
tions and of skepticism, when to instl doubt,
to undermine existing beliefs, is the chief
work. Destruction of all that is noble in faith,
in sentiment, in hope, is a work TO which any
smooth-tongued man, or even woman, is fully
competent. And this is continually going in.
For one who enuncates lofty and therefore
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26
spectacle Department.

In this department will be found full supply of Laza
Morris Perfected Spectaclcs in Gold Silver and
Steel Frames These Specaces acknowledged by all
who have used them be for cearnes and
the eye. We have sold great numbers of them,
and the demand increases
We have also j. Moses patent ElectroCavanc Specta-
cles-somethng new-designed to relieve pains in the
head and prevent congestion
Also Schaufhansen's celebrated German Spectacles-
good and low-priced
Eye Glasses of various styles
We have by far the largest stock in Hunterdon county,
and we can hardly fail TO suit you.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

A thread can hite Sstar, sixpcncc can hide
the view of everything around us; and man
with but little of this fleeing world may
blind his mind, harden his heart, and he may
lose himself, and be cast away at last.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-26

Alexander the Great, seeing Diogenes lock-
ing attentively at parcel of human bones,
asked the philosopher what he was looking
for. "That which cannot lind, was the
reply I" the difference between your fathers
bones and those of his slaves