The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-01-18
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

selling grsg TO one cid chap, and he only look
orc drink per day at that establishment An
average hummer who can get away with twenty
glasses per day. by distributing his patronage
among five saloons could make things quite live
~. not 20 say binding on the retailers OF liquid
snakes.
The editor Of the Wabash Qnd Sentinel wants
to know IF the man Who sent him challenge to
fight duel meAn business, or whether his bur.
gard soul laughs at the CHASTITY joke
Texas debtors settle accounts by shooting
their credtors.-.S PAU.
Sure cure for a boil-two pounds Of ne to-
gallon % water.
A tight ft-delirium tremers.
"Stradding the blind"-rding an undisoerning
equine.
Hunting rabbits is now the popular diversion
next to praying for RAIN
Adrivelling itemizer says Kellogg, before din
ner, weighs 100.
Acountry youth oo,ppels his mother to split
wood, that be a-y dye hi. moustach and sporta
dollar store diamond.
ASt. Louis paper says: Hall a dozen muir
derers in ;his city, awaiting the tedious for
1nality of scauittal"
A metallic surfnc. is protection to the face.
The editor of the Journal had the tooth .chS las.
week-Dlson Herda.
Pittsburg has Il missing man. excitement.
An examination of his affairs shows that he was
indebted to his w,sh.women dollar and
half, and 1t is thought no has fled to Europe.
Alta recent meeting of the Centennial Com.
missioners the ject of railroad transportation
bein. under informal discussion, Mr.. Robert
Lowry, OF Iowa. said; 1.-THE crop of corn in
Iowa is immense, but it costs fse Bushels to get
one to the seaboard.'
death by hangiug-reund rum shop;" it is
much more feeiugly told by saying accidental
death while unpaeking glass"
The latest invention out for nice young men
ON small salaries, is patent reversible inverting
shirt, with two bosoms and collar on each end,
warranted to wear four weeks without washing.
De Terre Haute Gazeae man was once third
cook on canal boat The boys in tho Office say
it's fun to suddenly yell slow bridge" and see
him dive franticaly under his desk.
Here is little school.boy grammar:
Flog is \ vsrp,
And so is wb.ck;
Cane is = noun,
And 30 ia back;
And lazy boys 20 to sleep,
And through their lessons crawl and creep.
And etutter and stammer,
Must the noun and feel the verb
To help them in their grammer.
The New York Comme,cjal Adoertiser answers
correspondent "Englishmsn" thus: mo; tho
inhabitants Of Buffalo are not at all quadrupeds
Many of them have but two legs, and frequently
find even that number more than thew can con.
yeniently manage.
Ben. Butler had his gold watch picked from
his pocket the other day, on the street cars, bat
when be reached home the watch was there, the
thief having returned it, There is honor among
thieves
Tho Savage Club of London, the same that
entertained Artemus Ward and Mark Twain,
has applied the last feather necessary to dislo.
cate its spinal vortebra, by entertaining the per-
ambulSting lunatic Bates
The ingenuity of New York tsilors is proverb.
ial, but here 10 one who premises to s,t.head
them all
Aa arstocratic New York tailor is engaged in
evolving suit of clothes to consist entirely Of q
cravat that will wind about the BODY from neck
to ankle and be fastened with q diamond pin.
The Boston Commeerctal Bulletin, undisnayel
oy tho fire, breaks out in spots Is follows: "Ths
following subjects have been subjected for thu
Legislature to act upon: To prohibit the pat.
ting of Mansard roof on a man with a red
head. To abolish sparkling Sunday nights, Tc
make young ladies put their flames out at IL
o'clock +. N.
The editor Of the South Bend Tribune il cruel
Witness tho following:
Niles has an association Of women known q,
the SISTERS OF Silence" and every married mar
there is anxious to have his wife Join il.
The Columbia City Post ru,s its thusly:
One OF the boy whackers and girl huvgers
who teaches school in this oouuty. spells IN thi
way, "kolumbus' Uuder his oyersbadowin,
genius the youthful isind will 40 up to the hill
OF science about as last ~ an elephant c.ul,
climb white oak tree b.ckw,rds
AZ up north cstonporary give. the following
lines for the times:
Gin body catch BODY
Steal body. wood,
Wouldn't a body kick u BODY
IL IA body cosld
When body pays sac much
10 get n load of wood
He'd like 10 try aud make i, la.,
Az lonp or. -