The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-10-21

the Ticket,
When is lawyer stronsestf When
he is fee-blest.
A noisy pieeo Of orockcry-Tha ouS
that cheers. @
1,,|s sseE Y I'd disaass ss thing With yho
unless it's bad one. q
The. proverb says, "It Is never toe
late to mend"-nor to early.
"Good blood will show ITSELF" as the
old lady with the red nose said.
Why is meat not done Ike good
conundrum2 Because it is-rare.
Figures won't lie." "But they do"
said Guppy; my wife's did"
When is captain in the heaviest Al.
Itire1 When he wears his ship
Which is the chief Of precious etonss
mentioned in the Biblel Birthstone.
An old Western gamester wants to
know if the vote Of '.no more passes"
applies to railroad euchre.
The whale fisheries are becoming less
valuable every year, all efforts to re-
vive them being unawhaling. fa
Why didn't dog want place in the
arki Because he. had 4 bark Of his
own. ~ ~ I'd 3i1a
letter carriers state that young ladies'
generally write "Private" on the aorners
of their postal cards.
Some of the Indiana.g girls palm them
selves of as widows, and thus stand .
better show of getting husband. s
When man wants money or assis.
tance, the world, as ruls is very oblis
ging and indulge and-lets him want
Anna Dickinson's new lecture shA
speaks offas For Your Sake" AZ
she charges 5000 for it, it looks as if IL
was for her own sake.
Connndrum in Davis County, love-
paper-''Is the man who attempts to
steal from his wifs's grandmother and
an idiot girl, Ct for Auditor Of Davis
County," S"'
The Minnesota law compelling saloon
keepers to pay ten dollars annually to
the support OF the State Inebriate AAy-
lum has yielded twelve thousand dol.
lars this year. sia'5 fao
An Iowa editor wrote: t'During the
past week We have been visiting the
| Solons of the country" and his con.
slant subscribers think that is funny
way to spell saloons" ts
AT hotel table one boardsr remark
ed to his nei !hbor: This must be .
healthy place for chickens" "Whyf"'
asked the other. s"Because / never see
any dead ones hereabouts" sat
i If an errand boy takes an unusually
long time to bring your, morning mail
t from the post Office, deh't reprove him
for being slow Till you fnd out how
many postal cards he has had 10 read.
) -Boston Journal
An, enthusiastic African. who, had
aspent de winter in Jamaky," found u
, an earthly paradise. He said he could
''lie abed, and putting his arms out de
!, windy, pick oranges, pineapples and
E Jamaky rum right of de trees"
Quitbls went to market the other
7 day. and asked fsherwoman the price
OF bunch Of perch. Fifty cents,"'
she replied. If you could take OF .
few cents" said Quibble, smelling the
iish, 81 might be induced to purchase"
Charleston street cries: "Shrim3
gwine by, b,as Here's your big, fat
shrimp. I'm tryin'.to make an. honest
living no, and if I can't I'll have TO 60
!, back to, stealing. Raw shrimp gwins
by, byas. Here's me-"
: "John," said q stingy old hunk to his
q hired man, as he was taking dinner. 'do
lyou know how many pancakes yon have
e eateni' "No.n "Well you've eaten
e fourteen" "WeIl." said John, ayou
: count and I'll eat" ~ 500 sw
4 A man who was afraid cf lightning
:, insulated his chair on four pieces Of
e glass, and sat in it during a thunder
a storm. He politely invited yoan6
t lady to sit in his lap for ssfety,. but she
+ Indignantly refused, saying that she
J. would rather be struck with lightning
An Irish clergyman. having gone 10
visit the portraits of the Scottish kings
IN Holyrood House, observed one of
the monarehs of very youthful ap-
|pearance, while his son was depicted
with long beard, and wore the traits
n |of extreme old age "Sancta Mariae'
$ exclaimed the good Hibernian, sis It
s ipossible that this gentleman was an old
n man when his father was born!"
b As cool person, under the cireum.
C stances. as we have ever heard OF was a
II young nobleman who, in flightful
It railroad accident, missed his valet One
|of the guardians came up to him and
s. said, "My lord, We have found your
IS servant. bat he is cut in two" Jaw.
is hep" said the young man, with a
lDundreary drawl. but still with anxiety
u depicted on his countenance "Will
, iyou be gwood enough to see In which
!, half he has gwot the key 10 my carpet
lr bagT
i An Irish officer Of distinction httsn.
At ded ball hut was not as proficient in
ID dsncing as in the use Of his sword
At While standing up in cotillion, his
e Ipartner called his attention to ayouns
man opposite, who had previously ex'
bilited much skill as dancer, in the
o act Of mimcking the movements of the
it officer. A little observation convinced
re him that it was the intention Of tile
b. young gallant 10 ridicnle him; and,
b therefore, stepping up toward him, he
8, inquired; "ls that yer natural way Oi
is dancins2' He was answered that il
}. was. well" said the officer, "if 90
d BY eracinds! If catch you dancing
sr artacially, hereafter, III knock you
h down." The consequence was that the
:ai youne fellow had TO persist in n:,nick.
ing while he remstGsd ia the room" II
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