The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-08-02
ANECDOTES.

A SCOTCH PRoFEssoR.--Professor -,
of the medical faculty of the University of
Edinburgh, now some years dead, was noted
for his misery habits, though in reality he
was rich man, the proprietor of several
ancestral estates. He once observed a.
Highland student-proverbially poor set
/ about to pick up a penny in the college
quad, but Just as he was about to pick it up
the learned professor gave him a push which
sent the poor fellow right over, when DIR
- coolly pocketed the coin and walked
on, amidst the laughter of crowd of stu
dents who were watching the scene. He
did not always stick at trifes. Going down
the crowded street, he saw a street boy
pick up shilling. Instantly the professor
chucked it cut of the, Lads hand, and then
holding it between his thumb and foreinger,
with his gold-headed cane in the other hand,
carefully guarding it, he read the whimper-
ing boy a long lecture on honesty being the
best policy; how the "coin" was not his !;
how it might. belong to some poor man
whose family might be suffering for the want
of that coin, aud so on, concluding by pOck
citing the shilling, and charging the finder
that if ever he heard of anybody having lost
that shilling, to say that Professor -
had got it. Every body knows me. II is
quite safe. Honesty, my lad, is always the
best policy. Remember that, and read
| your catechism WELL" On one occasion he
was called in in consultation with Professor
Gregory about a patient OF his who happen
ed to be student of medicine. The day
previously, however, DIR. Gregory had call
ed alone, and on going away was offered the
customary guinea. This the stately physi-
clan firmly refused; he never took fees from
students. The patient replied that Profess
or - did. Immediately Gregory's face
frightened up. al will be here tomorrow
in consultation with him. Be good enough
to offer me a fee before him, SIR" To-mor-
row came, and the student did as he had
been requested. What is that, sir?" Dr.
Gregory asked, looking at the proffered
guinea: a fee, sir Do you mean to insult
me, sir? What do you take US to be-can-
nibals? De we live on one another? No,
sir The man who could take fee from a
student of his own profession ought to be
kicked-kicked, sir, out of the faculty !
Good-morning and with that the celebra-
ted physician walked to the door in well -af
fected displeasure. Next day, to the aston
ishment of the patient, Professor - sent
packet with all the fees returned 1t is
said that he once took bag of potatoes for
fee, and ever after boosted of his generos-
ity in the matter. The man was poor
man, sir. We must be liberal, sir. Our
Master enjoins it on US, and it is recon-
mended in fine passage in the admirable
aphorisms of Hippocrates. The man had
no money, sir, so l had to deal gently with
him, and take what he had though, as a
rule-ds rule-I prefer the modern to the
ancient exchange, pecunia instead of pecus.
Ha hal" He is said to have been the
hero of the following story: A beggar see
ing him pick up farthing begged to get it.
Ma, ma, puir body" was the firm refusal !;
fin fardn for yersel !" This is not true
however, though the story loses nothing in
the exchange of dramatis persona. Its real
hero was certain noble lord.
= ANECDoTE OF THEODORE HooK-On the
evening of his arrival at the university he
! Joined party of school fellows in carouse
at one of the taverns. Sundry bowls of
bishops" and of egg-fip having been dis
cussed, songs amatory and bacchanalian
having been sung with full choruses, and al
| together the popularity having begun to pass
the limit of becoming mirth, the proctor
| made his appearance, and advancing to the
table at which the "freshman'-fresh in
every sense of the word-was presiding, put
the question, Pray, sir, are you a member
| of this university" "No, sir" replied
Hook, rising and bowling respectfully.
Pray, Sir, are you?" A little disconcert-
ed at the extreme gravity of the other, the
proctor held out his ample sleeve and said,
You see this, sir? -" Ah," returned
Hook, having examined the fabric with
great earnestness for few seconds, Eyes,
perceive Manchester velvet-and may i
take the liberty, sir, of inquiring how much
you might have paid per yard for the article?'
The quiet imperturbability of manner with
which this was uttered was more than the
| reverend gentleman could stand, and NUT
tering something about supposing it was a
mistake, he affected a retreat amid shouts
of laughter from Hooks companions.
I Many years ago Mr.. Miller, one of the
early settlers Of neighboring town, sold
yoke of oxen for fifty dollars, and received
in payment fifty dollar bank bill, which he
carefully folded up and deposited in his to-
bacco box for safe keeping. Mr.. NJ. was
| accustomed to make use of the weed at any
hour of the day or night even, whenever he
felt an inclination for it. The night follow
| ing the sale of the oxen he sought his to-
bacco box, and finding a convenient portion
| he put it into his mouth, and not really OBJ
tanning the full benefit he expected, he
chewed it up most vigorously and effectual-
| ly, exclaiming as he did so, "No strenath
| to the tobacco! no strength to the tobacco
| when, recollecting the transaction OF the
| day, and the place where he deposited his
treasure, he added, /" Ohio coke Of oren
at one chd,r :"
A Boston youth dreamed the other night
that there was another fire, and that he was
in it. He leaped from the bed, and, without
without stopping to think, went through a
| third story window and took the sash along
with him. 1t was not necessary for him to
take the sash along but he took it. After
turning over several times in the air. he
| lodged in the boughs of friendly tree.
| The sash fell heavily to the pavement below.
The young man now sleeps with the ward
robe against the window. wrwws Es~s
A son of Erin once accosted reverend
disciple Of Swedenborg thus: 80 A2-
Mr.. -, you say We are to follow the
same business in heaven that we do in this
world ?" IS .sh
-" Yes, that is in perfect accordance with
reason /; for the Creator himself is not idle,
and why should his creatures be?
sss@Weil, thin, yer honor, do paple die
there?" lzs1f v--sz-se -. sssgs-ss
Certainly not-they are as immortal as
the Creator himself" - -. = : -
"Thin, i should like to know. yer honor.
what they'll find for me to do, for I'm a
grace-digger in this world"