The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-02-22
VARIETY.

The exposition building at Vienna is to be 700
by 5000 feet
Nor AFT.-A man with long head is not
very apt to be headlOng-
EcoSOMY.-A little boy in school gave one of
the best definitions ever given to economy
." PAIRING potatoes thin
WArrED.-The reason an urchin gave for being
late at school, was that the boy in the next house
was going To have a dressing down with bed
cord, and he waited to hear him howl.
''No WoNDER.''-An old lady was admiring
the beautiful picture called Saved Its no
wonder ~ said she, - that the poor child tainted
after pulling that great big dog of the water -
PHTsIc.-An eminent physician, renowned
alike for his wit and professional wisdom, has
said: 'Physic should only be given to dying
men nine-tenths of the sick men only need
rush Of blood to the boots
A recent calculation relative to the principal
European languages shows that English is spoken
by ninety millions of persons, German by fifty
five millions, Spanish by ffty-fye millions, and
French by forty-fve millions.
An ilI-used husband around the lola CKan.) }
Register office makes this observation '' Ii
Susan B. and her cOnferees get shut up in prison
for Illegal voting, we know lots of men who will
urge their wives to try voting next time
ELIGIBLE-The Danbury Nelrs saws: One of
our residents about to 90 West, desires TO sell a
sitting in one Of the most eligible groceries in
town. The stove Is one of the most powerful in
market, and the cracker and sugar barrels within
easy distance
The Memphis Appeal tells of an Irishman who
got laughed at for making faces over some per-
simmons and who retOrted thus: 60 Ye may
grin, We mutton-headed idiots, but | can lather
the sOwl out NV the man that split the vinegar
over Thin plums."
A Coop OFFER.-A Boston gentleman who
could not waltz, offered young lady 500 If
she would let him hug her much as the man
did who had Just waltzed with her Ii was
good offer, and showed that money was no object
to him. but they put him out of the house so
hard that his eyes were quite black
CoSvES1ESr.-A smart boy in one of the
schools in Cadiz, Pa, having been required to
write n composition on some part of the human
body, expanded as follows: {" The ThrOat-A
throat IL convenient to have, especially for
with it; the latter breaches through his'n and
ties il up
a young lady writes to an exchange giving a
receipt for having fun. She says, invite half q
dozen boys and girls 10 your house when your pa
and ma are away; put n half-dOlar silver piece
IN a dish Of mOlasses inch deep in it. and offer
it to the boy who gets it with his mouth. The
more the boys try to get it, the more fun will
there be. That girl surely deserves a diploma.
4 CHAILESGE.-AM Michigan schoolmaster says
's / will spell emmy man, wumun or child in the
hull State fur n dickshunaTy, kash prize of
one hundred dollars a side, the money TO be
awardid by kOmmittee OF clergymen or skOOl
directors There has been a darned sight of
blowing about my spelling, now want them 10
put up 20 shet up L wont be put down by Il
passed. Of ignOrammuses because differ with noah
webster's stile Of spelliug."
\ BOYS JOURNAL.-DOrry, a boy six years old,
thinks he will do a. other men have done
.. March I2.-Have resolved to kepe iurnal
- March l3.-IIad rost befe for dinnir. and
cabage, and potato and appel sawse, and rice
puding l do not like rice pudding when it is like
ours CharIy SIack's kind is rele good. Mush
and sirup for tea
- March I9.-FOrgit what did John and
me saved our pie 10 take to schule
- March 81 l-FOrgit what did. Gridel cakes
for breakfast. Debby didn't fry enuff.
- March 24.-This Is Sunday. Corn befe for
diunir. Studded my Bibel lesson. Aunt Issy
said I was greedy. Have resolved not TO think
40 much about things to etc. Wish ! was a bet
te= boy Nothing particular for tea.
- March 25.-FOrgit what did.
.. March 27.-FOrgit What did.
- March 29.-Played.
april 1.-Eave dissided not to kepe jurnal
emmy more
sGoLDES WoRDs''-Don't deceive.-Baron
BE humbe.-T. TiltOn.
Don't read novels.-Harper & Brothers.
We concur in the abOve.-T. B. Peterson Co.
Don't smOke.-U. 5. Grant.
Mind your own business.-Catacazy.
Beware of Mrs. LiverpOol.-Gen Hall.
An honest man gathers no moss. a rolling
stones the nOblest work Of GOd.-P. V. Nasty
Make money and do good with it.-W. VI.
Tweed.
Don't marry until you can support wife.
Nor then either. l-Malthus.
He that IN the world would rise must take the
paper and dadvertise.-COnfucius.
Let your motto be honesty and Industry
James Fisk, Jr.
Wisdom is better than soup.-Daniel Web
ster's reply TO General Scott.