The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1873-12-04
About Almanacs.

There are very few men who do not
remember or cannot recall, the import
ance the almanac enjoyed in his boy
hoods home. I remember it used to
hang by string to the kitchen wall; and
the member Of the family who took it
down for reference was required to hang
it up again when through with it.
1t was generally medical almanac,
with yellow cover-and very bright
looking cover it was that winter; but by
the next winter the corners of the cover
were rolled up, or gone, and there were
conveniances for telling pretty accurately
how many flies had enjoyed its retire
ment.
Over the leaf was a picture of man
clothed in the fantastic garb Of South
Sea Islander, with trap door in his alb.
domen, and cockroaches and scales and
other appliances of the grocery business
around him.
Then there was the calendar, where the
weather is handled, and where drunken
looking moons. and improbable suns, and
highly impossible tides were made to go
through performances that were intensely
edifying to the family.
lnterspersed were grammatically.con
structed letters from ungrammatica1 peo-
pie located in unheard- of-towns in the
distant West, who had been raised from
the grave by pills, or drawn from eternity
by plasters, and having been restored to
perfect health, and having no further need
OF either, send on and order a ton of
both. Also Endorsements from we'll
known physicians in unknown localities,
the whole set off with recipes for pud-
dings that no one should eat, and cake
that no one would dare to. And when a
recipe for either was hedged in by q
fever sore on one side, and the graphic
particulars of hemorrhage on the other,
the symmetry of the whole was undenia-
BILE.
When I was boy lived one winter
with an uncle and aunt. and they did not
keep their almanac hung up. Aunt never
cared to look at an almanac anyway, so
my uncle took care of it. He kept it in q
drawer where he did his shaving appar-
atus, and odd hinges, and nails,
and screws, and weasel skin
for cramps, and q coverless novel,
and two equally decrepit song books.
That drawer was museum. 1t was the
family drawer, and the receptacle of
everything handy. / don't really believe
either my aunt or uncle or the kitchen
stove had ever been in that drawer, but
everything else had. There was a hank
of black thread in among the contents,
or, to be more exact, the contents were
in among that thread, and whenever any
thing was taken out, that thread had to be
consulted.
Sometimes the drawer would come all
the way out, and very Unexpectedly, and
nearly bury my uncle in the contents.
He was not q profane man, and 50 he did
not swear. He merely observed that it
was sealed book to him why a woman
never had any system, and then left me to
pick up the things, and continue the
argument.
He had three or four years almanacs in
the drawer, and when he went to consult
about the weather, he was just as likely to
pore over three-year-old almanac Is the
current number. Not that it made any
particular difference, only there was al
ways something especially instructive to
me to see him looking over the wrong
almanac, and deducing facts that appear
ed to be of great comfort to him.
But, then, you have had just such ex-
periences yourself, and there is no need
of dwelling upon them.-Ths Danbusy
Ne,cs Mans Almanac for 1874.