Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-04-17

loCG, ana on Gn0 DSSG O1 WILL II
and he speaks with that ardor that only
personal interest and strong conviction
can supply. Is it wonderful that the
gentlemen of the Academy brought such
a storm of eloquence, such an array of
extracts and data, and drew such direful
conclusions that, before the debate was
half over, the ladies were past pouting,
the men convinced, and not doubt ex-
listed in any mind as to the final vote of
the Academy? Nevertheless, the year
$500 cherished an almost superstitious
reverence for the possible virtues of that
side known as the other side of the
question and, at a given hour, orators
were called for it. There was a dead
silence for an instant, and then arose a
lady, Belle Bayadere, one of the ladies
pilloried in Berlaps' diary.
The audience regarded each other
significantly. The doctors, in their
gowns, smiled pityingly. Berlaps moved
uneasily, and wished from his heart for
authority to restrain the foolish girl
from making herself ridiculous. She
commenced. You might have heard a
pin drop. And her very first word dis
armed criticism.
eel rise," she said, with deep blush,
sswith no intention of haranguing this
assemblage, far less of attempting to
refute the learned gentlemen who have
preceded me-such presumption is be-
yond me-but simply to ask question,
knowing that wisdom is always gracious
to the humble inquirer. I have some
where read that we as often reproduce
the traits of our remote ancestors as of
those directly preceding us. I would
ask, therefore, if it is possible to find, in
a man of our day, not the peculiarities
of his parents or living relatives, but
those Of some forgotten predecessor, say
of the nineteenth century ?"
By common consent, all eyes turned
at once on DIR. Isaac Ichthyosaurus, the
Darwin of the year 1000. Straightway
that gentleman rose, nothing 10th, and
explained to Miss Bayadere, to the au-
dience, to the reporters, to ignorance in
general, sitting at his feet. He began
with the Creation, and, emitting very
little on the way down, wound up with
an appeal to the Future that ought to
have made that abstraction shake in its
buskins, and sat down In such a blaze of
glory as is due to a man who had taken
a whole hour to say eyes," and called
heaven, earth, and the sea to witness it.
The audience turned once more to-
ward Miss Bayadere. That young lady,
who had listened with modest Difference,
resumed, with an engaging smile, that
somewhow made Berlaps horribly .un-
comfortable
After the admirable and exhaustive
argument you have just heard, have
hardly courage to mar the effect on your
minds by adding another word of my
own ; and yet, in the interests of science,
I venture on one more question, knowing
that often the fool and the child stumble,
from absolute ignorance, on the solution
that the wise man has sought in vain.
In those ancient burlesques, known as
the novels of Trollope, Thackeray, Read,
Mrs. Edwards, and many others, my
tutors tell me, are to be found, glancing
through the satire, very fair record of
the manners and customs of their time
and, to my astonishment, these authors
repeatedly describe the strange symp-
toms that are now peculiar to Mr.. Ber-
laps, and that we call BerLapsades, un-
under the name of Flirtations, as every
day occurrences, and common to the
majority of young young men. AS DIR.
Ichthyosaurus has just proved the ex-
treme probability of such case, shall
we not suppose that among this ma
jority were some of Mr.. Berlaps' ances-
tors, and that Mr.. Bonbon Berlaps'
trouble is an inheritance from some
nineteenth century Berlaps? If this
seems reasonable to you, we have at
hand, think, a sure means, with Mr..
Berlaps' consent, of proving or disprov-
ing the theory. In the nineteenth
century, a Irritation piqued the curiosity,
fattered the vanity, and engaged the
love of amusement; but when the friend
ship advanced to the place where it must
take the name and responsibilities OF
love, it ceased, because an imposslblllty
was demanded. Love exacts tribute
from the whole nature, and that was
yielded already, to serve stronger pas
sion, or overmastering thought, holding
unsupported possession. The crownine
glory of our scientific progress has been
the invention of the Pensogra1oh, by
which any individual can stand face to
face with the portrait OF his ruling
thought or passion, and study it at his
leisure. Now, what 1 would suggest is
simply this if the principle of BerL0a1-
sades and Flirtations is the same, and
Mr.. Berlaps consents to be oeaaso-
graaohed, the Pensograph will settle the
matter beYond doubt.
The audience shouted, GA Penso
graph Pensograph p Berlaps grew
scarlet. Miss Bayadere, quite unmoved
looked toward the learned doctors, wait
ing their assent, as if there were not as
much curiosity under their silk gowns
as under those of the ladies (only the
professors call it science). and she were
not certain of their consent, the sly
malicious creature The pensographio
apparatus was brought into the hall
and arranged on the stage. I make nc
attempt to describe it The mental anc
scientific conditions of our day are sucl
that description would be impossible
enough, that it's results were given il
pictures, and that these results had beer
proved by numerous scientific tests to
be accurate, and the exact likeness o
the person or thing best loved, or tn
idea, that ruled the individual 1oeaaso
grazohed. If Berlaps had wished, op
position would have been useless, and
to tell the truth, he himself was not
little curious. The audience awaited
the end with hushed attention. Th
professors watched the process closely
as men responsible for the transaction
Miss Bayadere stood, quiet as before
till the artist drew out the plate, and
glancing at it, handed it to her, with
slight smile. Glancing in her turn, sh
smiled also, and then, in clear, triumph
ant tones, that rang through the Who'll
building