The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1873-08-23
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.
A HANDSOME TH,xa IN sHAwLs-A
pretty girl.
To LEARN TIE VALUE OF MoNEY-Try
to borrow it.
A MAINE suspepder factory uses alliga-
tor skins for material.
VIRGINIA talks of introducing wooden
railroads extensively.
A BROOKLYN penitent has lately added
ten cents to Treasurer Spinner's con-
science fund.
NEwBURYPoRT, Mass, has an armless
newsdealer who writes neat fist'' with
his mouth.
The st. Paul Pioneer says that July
there has been about like September
weather in the Middle States.
THE Tennessee papers can get more rat
ties on the end of rattlesnake's tail than
the press of any other State.
READING, Pa, has a new place of re-
sort-a Temperance Garden" where vo-
cal and instrumental music is given, and
where nothing stronger than ice cream
and domestic wine is sold.
A RAILWAY station agent down East
and an examination has shown that a mis-
take he had made in his accounts covered
the amount he carried away.
A MAN robbed of seven dollars in San
Francisco was locked up as witness, and
remained in jail seventy days before
the case came on. The authorities forgot
him, and he has very unobtrusive dis
position.
A WILL is registered in Waynesburg,
Pa, which contains the following remark
able clause: 81 also give to my beloved
wife one red COW, one three-year- colt,
and the remainder of the kitchen and
household furniture
ONE of the survivors of the wrecked
steamer Atlantic has brought suit against
the owners for one hundred thou and dol
lars, Claiming that he has been disabled
tor life, by reason of having his legs
frozen.
"JAMEs JENKINS" said school master
to his pupil, "What is an average?" "a
thing, sir" answered the scholar, prompt
ly, . that hens lay eggs on" ''Why do
you say that, you silly boy?' replied the
pedagogue. !" Because. SIR said the
youth, 81 heard gentleman say the
other day as hen would lay, on an aver
age, hundred and twenty eggs year"
The Manchester, N. H., Union, tells of
Newfoundland dog that fell into canal
there recently and was unable to get out.
At length he succeeded in getting his
paws upon the bank, and Gov. Smyth's
dog approaching the situation, seized the
drowning dog by the neck and, making 81
vigorous sally backward, drew him out
on the bank. The two dogs looked at
each other with the greatest complacency
and then went home.
CONGRESSIONAL HORTICULTURAL
contemporary says: A nice old man. a
vegetable gardener, called at the Office the
other day and inquired very anxiously if
the editor had seen anything in the pa
pers lately about worm that was doing
much damage to celery. g. intended, .
said he, ito have raised a good deal of
celery this year, but durn me if think it
will pay if that burned celery grub that
started at Washington awhile since, about
what I've heern so much on, is coming
this way" A light dawned upon the
editoE's mind-the SALARY Grab"
A GREAT MODERN CoNuNDR1M Sow
ED.-lna select school in the Sixth ward,
the other day, a class of boys were spell
ing, when the teacher came to the word
. sacrifice,' and stopped to explain it and
make good moral point. She told them
that sacrifice meant to slay, to kill, and
also to forego ones own convenience for
the sake of making others happy. "For
instance" she said, s'I have kite, and
lame boy, who can't roll a hoop, or play
ike other boys, comes along and asks for
it, what should do?'' A youth, named
Snyder, raised his hand, and when nod
ded at, reared: g Smash him in the mouth
and run n'-Detroit Free Press.
AN inquirer, who applied to the San
Francisco Chronicle for information as to
where Cain obtained his wife, is cruelty
rebufted, the only reply vouchsafed him
being this: "Upon any subject of pub
nc nature we never refuse to throw the
desired light. But this is altogether
different thing. 1t is family matter
with which we do not care to NEEDLE.
Cain died some time before many of us
We're born, and such idle curiosity regard
ing the family affairs of deceased person
we regard as reprehensible. and calculated
to violate the sanctities of domestic life.
For these reasons. and because we do NOT
wish to injure the feelings of the relatives
OF the deceased, we decline to answer the
question:
SINCE Jones has been in reduced circ,1m.
stances he takes much pleasure in singing
the following version of a popular song
while beefsteak and venison cost lots of cash,
BE it ever so gristly, there's nothing like hash
Inc scraDlngs and 1eavings of no use elsewhere
When mixed all together make excellent fare
Hash, hash, good meat hash!
lie 1t ever SO gristly, there's nothing like
hash!
g stranger from home, hotels dazzle in vain;
give me cheap eating house food that's more
plain;
The J., waiter who gayly re-echoes my call :
FOR nice plate OF hash or single fsh-bsll
Hash, hash" etc.
II. STEWARDS $lOO, 900, OOO.-Wealthy
men are often credited with greater riches
than they possess, and frequently, after
diligent inquiry into their resources, find
that thew have set too hieh q limit to thar