Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-02-20
MELANGE.
chicago has a $1,000 restaurant. /.

Chicago has So,UUV reseautAns.
California is importing Scotcn serV-
ants.
Russian railroads have American con-
ductors.
A Florida Judge runs billiard saloon
and boarding house.
When is lady's cheek not q cheeK9
When it's little pale (pail).
: Young ladies use powder, perhaps
because they think it viii make them 60
OFF.
! The young ladies of Vassar College
have formed an s'anti-falling-in-loye-before-
e-out-of-school-club."
Good DR.. Dwight once said: "He tnae
makes little child happy for one hour Is .
fellow-worker with God."
The rotund maiden of the period,
dressed in the fashionable low-neck party
dress, looks like an oyster ON the nan sneh
pale, pulpy, and peaceful.
king Alfred is said to have used can
dies to measures time with. Was this the
origin of the candle stick?
-Hardup says the report of debut al
WAYS reminds him of bis account with the
bank. because it is generally overdrawn.
-"We're In pickle now" said . man IN
a crowd. aA regular JAM" said another:
"Heayen preserve us!" mosned an ola
lady.
the little pet name Laura Fair applied to
Rev. DIR. Cunningham, in her recent lager
beer saloon lecture at Sacramento.
A little seven year old charmer, sent
her beau a love letter few days since, re-
markabIe quite as much for its brevity, as
for its being right to the point, "They thai
seek me early shall find me-"
Two San Jose lawyers got into light
| in the courtroom the other day, and one OF
them was hit with an ink-stand. His wife
| now claims that he is Christian hero,
| on the ground that it was the battle Of Ink
herman.
-Barnum is trying to secure for hts new
show q man who does not blame bis wlfe
for everything that goes wrong about the
| house.
| Mark Twain, in speaking OF cannibal-
ism, solemnly declares that, for his own
part, he "would rather go hungry for two
DAYS than eat an old personal friend"
1t is said that '.bloomers" are to be
revived again in the spring, and that all the
tall and ungainly females in the country
are to be transformed into plump and loV-
aole little women.
One of our Senators evidently does
not consider all the school trustees in Ten
nessee Solomons of wisdom. He says that
half of them spell ''school tax" "skule
tacks."
Louisville epicures are eating French
suails. They are all so slow down there that
the offense ranks next to straight cannibal-
ism. OF course the snails are caught fol
them, A Louisville man could never over
take one himself.-C Cincinnati Gazette.
There is said TO be one corner lot IN
Chicago which has not teen mortgaged, and
policeman is necessary to keep the adj
miring crowd off&he fence.
"A Young man stationed in front Of the
Baptist Church, on Sunday evening, wait
ing for a neighbor's daughter, was mistaken
for post by a near-sighted rurslist, who
made several attempts to hitch bis horse to
him.
Scene in Cleveland. A large party Of
ladies and gentlemen assembled in the
drawing-room. A little girl examining q
book on natural history. A pause in the
general conversation. Little girl: "Ma
you called pa a bear the other morning
when he kissed the chambermaid. Was he
q polar bear, MAJ" Sensation.
The Corning Gazette says there are al
present but four young men in that town
who part their hair in the middle. One
year ago they numbered over twenty, but
death and the lunatic asylum and peniten,
tisry have cut down their numbers TO the
present figure. We have six of the darling
creatures in Nashville, and we're awful
awful proud of 'em. But after all, there j:
such fearful responsibility connected will
raising pets of this character, thst 1t Gon1
pay. They lave to be treated in the most
tender manner imaginable, the least breath
of a rough wind causing them to withdraw
and droop away.
-Eloquenee ran to waste in the Senate
chamber Tuesday, during the debate OF
the school bill. One member (who used
to write all his school boy essays in poetry,
said that State Board of Education wa
ga nightmare, which would suck the life
blood from the free school system" W.
take it for granted that the particular night
mare which the speaker had in his mind''
eye al the time, is q "cribber," or "wiHd
sucker"
SNOW, my young friend, suppose
twelve men buy twenty-four bushels o.
wheat, to be divided equally, how many
bushels is that for each?" Boldest of the
boys--"Please, sir, we've not gone thai
far" "HoW is thai? Your teacher tolC
me YOU had learned all the first four rules
Boy-"Yes sir; but we have always dont
our sums in potatoes and turnips-we have
never had wheat"
"A Danbury boy who reads the paper
went to his father with rope in his han(
and told that worthy that if he did not give
him fifty cents to buy q tWo-bladed jack
knife, he would forthwith hang himself. L
was the place of the old man to say, "Hesv
en- forgive you, my son, for the awful though
here's the fifty cents" He didn't say it
however. He merely twined bis fingers il
the young mans tresses, and bumped hi
head against the doorjamb until the would
be suicide thought 1t was Fourth of Jul
night.
"A Massachusetts husband hearing
intimated that he was henpecked, wen
home and thrashed bis wife, tore up twt
or three of her best dresses, opened all tn
; windows in the house, and sat down in tn
psrlor with bis feet on the centre table ami
a choice collection of books and smoked hi
pipe. He thinks the world is convince
A., now thatabe is not henpecked at all.
"A Cincinnati poet ran bis hands throug
bis raven locks a week or two ago, ant
wrote one of the sweetest poems you eve
saw, wherein he detailed the many virtue
and accomplishments of Mario. He chris
tened the poem Gan Ode to Mario, tn
King of Tenors," put it in an envelope ad
dressed to the Commercial, and then pre-
pared TO await the verdict of coming gener
atoms as to the merit Of his production
,, Like all ,well-regulsted offices, thu Com
! r,ercial posts its. Intelligent Compassion
who bad bis own ideas as to how the anti
cles which appear in that paper shoult
, look. So when the contribution made it
appearance in print, it read Gan Ode t
, Mario, the King of Terrors." And nov
! that exasperated poet is the "King of Ter
rors" to that Intelligent ComposltOr.
A GIFT FOR DAMAGES.