The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-08-16
VARIETY.

When 4 st. Louis editor wants Il delinquent to
pay up, he says Develop your minerals"
SEvERE-A young lady speaking of one of her
aversiOns said the severest thing record
- He's almost perfect brute-he only lacks in
stinct''
\ condemned murderer ut Meriden, Miss, con-
siderately requested to be hung on the 18th of
July, to increase the attractions of the cee-
bratiOn.
- Is there any one here who takes exceptions
to the rulings Of this cOurt2'' said Nevada
justice, putting six-shOoter ON the table. There
wasn't one.
There is in the city Of New York restaurant
kept by cOlOred people who employ white girls as
walters, which looks though the colored per-
son were inclined to - go back on himself
4 DELAYED MARRAGE-Everything was in
readiness for the marriage of n Cairo lady, but
the groom came not. After hours of waiting, a
dispatch was received which read; L" Have to
wait till next week-my wife has overhauled me -
4 young man who knows all about it, states
that his experience has taught him that a hlrt Is
n fool who delights in foOling fools, and the fool
who is fooled by such fool Is the foollshest KIND
of fool. He's been fooled badly, we should
Judge.
DOES Nor KSow-s- The fact is" said or
derIy wife, man does not know how to
straighten up things. lie does not know where
to commence i don't WONDER" she remarked
in conclusion, - that when God made Adam he
went right to work and made 4 woman to tell
him what TO do
\ New York paper says: A young lady of
this citv was recently struck with the useessness
of her life, and Immediately went to work with
vigor to learn plain sewing. At latest dates she
had hemmed side of towel, which the
proud parents have framed and hung in a con-
spiouOus position in their parlors."
The reputation of members of the Legislature
for sObriety seems 10 be rather bad in Kentucky.
Two of them were rather nOisily drunk on rail-
road train the other day, and when the conductor
demonstrated, one Of them promptly asked, " DO
YOU know, sir, that l am n member of the Legs
Iature2'' The conductor quietly replied, - You've
got the symptoms
- Josh Billings" who is Mr.. Shaw, of Pough-
keepsie, has been written up by the Poughkeep-
sic Eagle. lie gets 800 n week from the New
York Weekly; has desk there and at Carleton g
He gets 81 800, three cents copy, for dedlcat-
ing his first almanac to the Weekly publishers,
and 81 300, two cents copy, for dedicating the
second He is now worth S4l 900 clear of all
debts.
Connecticut paper tells the story of very
.scrupulous man who recently left that State fol-
the West Being indebted TO 4 shOpmate IN m:
former home in the sum Of eighteen cents, hC
forwarded the amount the other day IN Old
the recipient ffty-one cents. The man who re
ceiyed the money has invested 1t in sack-cIotf
and ashes.
As some lady visitors We're recently goinl
through 4 penitentiary. under the escort OF tn
-1perintendent, they came TO a room IN which
three women were sewing. - Dear me ! one o
the visitors whispered, - what vicious-looklnl
creatures Pray, what are they here Tor?
Because they have no other home. This is on
sittine-roOm and they are my wife and tw
daughters . blandly answered the superintendent
Probablv no reasonable woman Will look favor
ably upon a new foreign invention " which manu-
Elcturing firm in Pennsylvania is copying. Thi
is a bonnet made of spun grass and trimmed wit
flowers feathers. etc, of the same material, VI
riousIy tinted. Ii may be beautiful; 1t may no
be expensive but, alas when dusty 1t can b
washed and made TO look new, and what VIC
man wants bonnet that can he 30 easily reno
waited as that2
There Is an ITishwOman Of gigantic strength l
ST Paul One morning she lifted barrel {
sugar from the ground into cart The neN
evening she presented her husband with twin:
Two days after she did the washing for a famli
of ten persons. Not 80 fortunate Missou
GIRL She washed all day. made Il supper
weIye hard boiled eggs, and then danced 4
n; ,ht IL is mentioned that her funeral procei
sion was nearly mile long
H. WAS SUPPLrED-A Western Juvenile, WI
5.sars the burden Of thirteen long Summers o
Eis shoulders with most refreshing conhdenc'
.,-ss serO ed with q moderate allowance OF desse1
nc day at the dinner table; but the quantit
yvas deeiSeiIy below his notions of justice or re;
son. as he eyinced with cOntemptuous curl
the lin and the dry remark to ms mateTna
- mid Won pnt this here for the hies?' 1t
unnecessary to add that he was supplied wit
another instaIlment, AZ lie deserved to De-