South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-07-04

against taking back pay of that Sort
GS 'YOU arc little bear, madam said
our own brute to fashionable belle at an
evening party. Sir ! exclaimed the dis.
mayed one. About the shoulders, | mean
smilingly replied he.
ES-A MINISTER walked six miles to
marry couple lately. He said he felt
sort of fee-bill like. The groom saw it.
Ell HOPE you will be able to support
me- said a young woman, while walking
out with her intended during a somewhat
slippery state of the pavement. 'Why,
yes, replied the somewhat hesitating swain
with little assistance from your father
There was some confusion, and profound
silence.
LET PORTLAND man vas caught fish
log for trout on another mans land the
other day, completely silenced the owner,
who demonstrated, with the majestic an
swer, 'Who wants to catch your trout? l
am only trying to drown this worm
ES-IT is reported that Juvenile dandy
said to fair partner at a Boston ball -
Miss don't you think my mustaches be-
coming?' to which Miss replied well,
yes, but they havn't arrived
ESCooING is well enough befor mar
riage, but the billing doesn't generally come
till after; and then it comes from the grocer.
aeS-WE do our very best 10 believe all
the queer stories that we find, for we could
not conscientiously present them to our
readers unless We believed them to be true,
but here is one that Owe caution the public)
seems to us little doubtful We will not
say it is lie, but it is improbable. A
horse in st. Paul, Minnesota, drank beer
till he was in beastly state of iutoxica-
ton. His owner, knowing that his previ-
Gus habits were exemplary, thought be was
dead, and skinned him. Next morning
CHASTITY steed, without hide or hair, was
found grazing on the public common, and
skillful veterinary surgeon is engaged 10
planting his superfcios with hair from
neighboriDg tannery.
ETA NASHVILLE young man says he
intends to marry rich young lady, and
that he will provide the dear creature with
oil the Injuries of the season-so long as
her money lasts.
EyWHY is lover popping the question
like tailor running hot iron over q suit
of clothes Because he is pressing suit.
g PRETTY bad under foot said one
citizen to another, as they met in the street.
yes; but it's fine overhead, responded
the other. True enough said the FIRST,
'but then very few are going that way
aaS- AN Irishman was summoned for re-
fusing to pay doctors bill, when he was
asked why be refused to pay. 'What for
should / pay 2 said Paddy. Sure he
didn't give me anything but some emetics,
and the niver one could keep on my
stomach at ALL at all.
GS-A YOUNG gentleman in town who
receives oil his spending money from a
wealthy aunt, says that tincture Of 'aunti-
mony' makes him feel we'll
GB-Josn BILLINGS says: 81 have Of
ten been told that the best way is to take
bull by the horns but think, in many
instances, should prefer the tail hold
s@~ PEOPLE should never interpret max
inns too literally To speed The parting
guest it is not necessary to kick him down
stairs
ESI AM dying for love, said rnelan-
chOly young man as he put the c6al-black
fluid on his moustachs
ETA BosToN belle told her milliner TO
make her bonnet plain, but at tho same
time smart, as she sat in a conspicuous
place in church
EV-IIAvING bill against man in
kennebcc town, we sent letter Of inquiry
to newspaper man Of that locality. The
reply was, 'Ho is dead but he pays just
as well as he ever did BelJast Journal
EsoAN old lady selling eggs 10 Savan.