The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-04-11
Pith and Point.

JIMMY cannot see why the Left Of the
French Assembly should be so anxious
for the dissolution of that body, as If it
were dissolved there would not be any
left.
WERE You wounded in the wars 2
asked man of little drummer. "Oh,
yes. badly" replied he. I" In what part
were You shot ?" "Oh, sir, / was shot
in the drum.
"THE winds getting round remark
ed Bibbs to his friend Buggins, the
other day when it changed from east to
west. "Glad of it, replied Buggins
it's been sharp long enough"
"SIx feet in his boots ~ exclaimed
Mrs. Beeswax. "What will the impu-
dence of this world come to, L wonder?
Why, they might as well tell me that the
man had six heads in his hat.
"ARE you not alarmed at the approach
of the king of terrors 2" said a minister
to n sick man. ooh no have been
living six and thirty years with the queen
of terrors-the king cannot be much
worse"
THE editor of children's paper in
Chicago received letter from q lady
subscriber recently, in which was writ
ten: "Our little Anna died last week,
after reading the last number of your
valuable paper.
On, the snow, the beautiful snow
such hunky thing, you know bluing
your noes, and chilling your toes. as
whirling along the street it goes. No
ii 81 hot
coolest of frauds, the beautiful snow.
"PA," said a little seven year fellow,
81 guess our man, Ralph, is a good
Christian. " Howso, my boy?" queried
the patient. "Why, pa, 1 read in the
Bible that the wicked shall not live out
half his days-and Ralph says he has
Tired ont ever since he was little boy"
A CARELESS barber, trimming Sheri-
dams ears, put him to great pain and
uneasiness. "Are you trimming my left
ear now ?" asked the wit. "No, sir not
till I've done the right" "Oh only
thought by what / felt that you were
passing through to the left ear without
going round.
SEVEN thousand Yankee clocks were
recently shipped to Japan, and now every
Daimio in the country who can raise the
stamps wears one of these neat and re-
liable, but not gaudy time pieces strap
ped on his breast, and when the clock
strikes he draws larger crowd around
him than monkey ut circus.
A SACRAMENTO lawyer remarked to the
Court :: 4" 1t is my candid opinion, Judge,
you are an old fool" The Judge allowed
his mildly beaming eye to fall upon the
lawyer brief moment, then in voice
husky with suppressed tobacco juice
and emotion, said, cit is my. candid
opinion that you are fined 500"
A CLEVELAND (Ohio) woman, whose
son parts his hair in the middle, has
written to the Government to know if she
is not entitled to a pension. The Chief
of the Pension Bureau writes back that
she cannot receive n pension unless he
pastes his hair down in scollops on his
forehead and wears seal ring on each
little finger, in addition to. his first
mentioned infirmity.
NEVER marry man until you have
seen him eat. Let the candidate for your
hand, ladies, pass through the ordeal of
eating soft-boiled eggs. l he can do it
and leave the table cloth, the napkin and
his shirt unspotted, take him. Try him
next with n spare-rib. If he accomplish
es this feat without putting out one of
his own eyes, or pitching the bones into
your lap, name the wedding day at once
he will do to tie to.