Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-07-10

to small portion Nv mankind
We did at times find fault with George
w. Bascom; we did at times say Nv
George W. Bascom that he wuz a heart
less monopoly, that he wuz a railroad
corporashen, that he wuz a leech on the
body corprit, that he wuz an oppressor
and grinder. When George W. Bascom
refoosed to allow anybody else to sell
whisky at the Corners, we complained,
for we saw in it a determinashen to keep
Us his bond servance forever
But yesterday we thought we wuz mis-
taken. 1t is not the first time the world
hez mistaken its man. When I am ded
and moldered away in the silent tomb,
possibly now censOrious world will do
penance for calm me a 'pimplc faced
SUCKER which they now do, by erectin
monuments and SIGH. l bide my time.
George ". Basc0m mite hey GOT his
recognashen, however, while he lived.
Yesterddy tie n0oze feoo from one to an
other that george Washington BoSc0m he'd
reduced tie price ur lohisky TO fce cents.
lie did this Nv his own accord. There
wuz no pressure brought to bear onto him
there wuz no solissitashen on our part
no one knoWed anything about it until it
wuZ done
Mr. Bascom last Thursday called a
meetin Nv the citizens in front Nv his
grocery | called EN- to order, when Geo.
w. stepped to the front and sed, with an
impressiveness witch never saw exalted,
that lie he'd made up his mind to do suthin
for his native village-suthin practikle
lie he'd lived among US for years; he
knowed and he'd sold likker two genera
shens, and he felt that he ought to do
suthin for us.
Hes agoin to endOw a skool," Whis-
pered Issaker Gavitt to me- Bah"
He now wood announce that, from this
day forrcrd, WHISKY at his bar tc0Uld be fire
cents per drtnk'
What" shrieked Issaker, his face
beamin with delight. What! Whisky
five cents! Thank Heaven, that l have
lived to see this day."
Ez soon ez the excited pOpulis recovered
from the surprise that follered this an
nouncemcnt, they organized themselves
into a meetin, and passed resOloOShons &C
knowled.ing their appreshiashen Nv this
unexpected cOnceshun. | offered en-, and
they run ez follows:
Uareus, our fellow townsman, G. W. Bascom.
hez in his own hands the supplyin NV the one ar
tice uy prime necessity 10 the people nv the Cor
ncrs, aud
Hareas. G. ". Bascom Good keep the price
thereof at 10 cents, or if he chose Good raise 1t TO
Is or even 20, and
Uursas, c. w Bascom hez NV his own accord,
without solissitashun, nobly redoost the price 10
five cents, therefore be 1t
ReS0iUed That G. W. Bascom il entitled 10 the
heartfelt thanks nv the citizens the Coruers.
Aes0iced That we insist that George Washington
Bascom drop his last name, and be known hence
forth as GEORGE WAsHINGToN, for while the first
George Washington waz the father NV his people,
the second is their preseryer.
heS0tted, That while the first G. W. wuz first in
the hearts uy his countrymen the second is first III
their stumicks, witch Is wat the Corners take most
stock in.
Rssoieea That George Washington Bascom is
entitled 10 the undying gratitood nv the Corners,
and that his name is gilded with imperishable us-
ire.
This ackshen Nv Bascom changed my
purpose | sed II shell never leave the
Corners. With likker at five cents, | kin
live cheaper here than anywhere else in
this world. | know Nv no spot witch
combines so many delites The climate
is so mild that few clothes is required, we
need shoes only three months in the year,
onless we are bIoated aristocrats, and
wear EN- for the sake Nv vain display, and
overcoats is never nessary. 1t gets little
chilly in December, January and
Febrooary, but instid NV wastin our
money on overcoats we take more ikker,
and get warmth in that way Whisky
takes the place Nv oyercoats and under
shirts. An oyercoat wood cost me $50,
which NJ cents per drink wood buy me
1000 drinks. Take 10 day and thus $50
would suffice for 100 days, which is quite
enutf to carry me over the cold season in
comfort, besides the eestacy NV drinking
the likker.
Here then, sed l, l shell remain Wits
ky, cents. | shell only owe Bascom
half ez much when | die, ez | wood under
the old arrangement, wiCh will be a great
comfort to him. At 10 cents | wuZ run
min up a terrific account
felt there WIZ some good in man after
all-humanity is not altogether selfish.
The world hez he'd benefactors. Howard,
Peabody, Bascom wat galaxy!
But our JOY WIZ short. We wuz rite in
our first estimate Nv George W. Bascom.
He is neither Howard or a Peabody. He
is deceiyer-a raiser NV hopes, witch,
like Dead Sea Apples, turn to ashes on
the lip. The Corners wuz, the next day.
in a state Nv excitement SIGH as il hez
never experienced before | never saw
mems passions so excited before, and
never want to agin.
Yesterday Bascom announst his inten-
shun nv redooSin the price NV likker to
five cents and we wood hev voted him a
StatOo, witch, eZ statOOs is never built is
perhaps the cheapest gratitood an appre-
ciative country kin indulge in. This
mornin we gaily tripped into his place for
our matootinal appetizers and, ez is the
custom, ranged ourselves atore the bar.
Bascom stood behind it ez stern ez a Ro-
man senator, and, ez infleXible ez a bar of
Railroad iron.
set it out, my noble Greek" sed /,
put out the pizen. Anybody kin afford
10 take suthin for five cents"
Bascom did not set it out On the con,
trary, he raised his right hand, and pinted
imprcssivelv to a placard witch he he'd put
over his bar, wich read as follows:
Tinker FIVE CENTS,
But No CREDIT GIVEN UNDER No CIRCUM.
STANCES.
To prevent anxiety on the mind nv the
proprietor, every man win show his five
cents when he calls fur his drink
Are WOO in earnist?" ! demanded
"ln dead earniSt-no money, no llkker.'
Then" sed |, woo are a holler mock
cry. Yoo hey inveigled the Corners into
passiu resolutions commendin Nv 700
under false pretence. Wat yoose is it te
Us 70 hey 700 redoose the price Nv lkker
"a i've cents, and then put condishens to
i wich makes it impossible for me to git
it AT all? Wat y0osc-"
WAT yooSe," retorted he, angrily, "wuz
there in redoocin the price. onless | did
git pay for my lkker?"