The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-07-26
General Items.


LIZ you want to know whether tree
is hollow or not, ak It,
II is never proper to stone your
neighbor, yoi1 may rock his baby.
PARTIES who "round =" on You very
often try TO make you think they mean
s. square.
A TOLEDO paper fixes the wealth of
the late Horace f. Clark, at $25, 000,-
900.
A HARPER FERRY man owns a whole
mountain and offers to trade 1T for a
shotgun.
FoR the first time during his long
confinement, Stokes health now gives
evidence OF failing.
Mr. Moses DUPONT, of Holyoke,
Mass, and his twenty-three brothers
have between them, 322 children.
A MAN in Scott county, KY, has
been tried three times for the same
murder First, he was sentenced to
five years Imprisonment, next to two
years, aud the third time acquitted
The well-known engraver, Joseph
Keller, celebrated Tor his unequaled re-
production of the Sistine Madonna,
died July 7, at Dusseldorf, from the
effects OF a paralytic stroke.
LORD DERBY, III Il recent letter, is
very severe on Engllshmen for their
senseless extravaganza III foreign travel.
But his Iordshlp adds that American
tourists are even more ridiculous than
the English.
a MAINE man, suffering from a re-
cent attack OF conscience, wrote to Fort
Royal, Va, for the amount of board
bill which he left standing in 1862,
while serving III the Union army. The
bill was forwarded, and the cash re-
mitted.
The Emperor OF China, in two official
edicts, announces the degradation and
punishment of the Chief of the Eunuchs
for g handling the dishes carelessly,"
aud of the Chief of the stables for
mot being punctual, and having his
beasts III bad condition"
A YOUNG man in San Francisco found
an old deacon he knew bucking the
tiger in a gambling hell. What"
he exclaimed, Deacon, you here ~
Yes, was the reply, II am bound to
break down this wicked institution"
AT the depot on Monday evening, an
eager-leoklng man jumped from the
train and clasped waiting woman in
his arms. Heavens my wife," said
he Mercy, my rutfies !" SAID she.
Which showed what both were thinking
of.-Danbeery Net0S.
JENNY" said a Scotch minister
stopping from his pulpit, ''have you a
pin about ye?"
Yes, minister.
. Then stick it into that sleeping
brute by your side"
SAID Landor, 4 havo no ailments,
but why should [ [ have eaten well
prepared food | have drunk light,
subacid wines, and three glasses in
stead of ten; have liked modest bet
ter than immodest women, and | have
never tried to make a shilling in the
world"
HERR BUBINsTEIN, the pianist and
composer, arrived in London from New
York on the 14th inst, and left the
same evening for st. Petersburg. He
played during MS American tour at
2l5 concerts, with unprecedented sue
cess, and he speaks highly of the intel
Hgence of the transatlantic audiences.
''How ON earth do you manage ~
asked gentleman of two inseparabie
loungers. You are always together,
you never do anything, and yet you al
ways have plenty of money"
8 Simplest thing in the world, my
dear fellow" was the candid reply.
" We borrow of one another"
THE members of the Metropolitan
Board of Works OF London recently
got themselves into pecunIary scrape.
At the recent thanksgiving at st. Pauls
they spent "a, 600 III providing accom-
modatlon for themselves and their
friends. Now this expenditure is de-
clared to be illegal, and each member
must pay ESQ.
A NEW YORK CENTRAL RAILWAY CON
ductor seized a nobby dressed young
fellow who had dropped an insulting
note in a ladys lap on his train the
other day, dragged him from his seat,
and led him by the ear through the train
10 the smoking car, where he babe him
remain. The passengers enjoyed the
young reprobate's discontinue.
That was a good, though q rather
severe, pun which was made by a stu
dent In one of our theological semina-
RES (and he was not one of the bright
est of the class either. when he asked,
" Why Is Professor the greatest re
vivalist of the age ?'and on all ''giving
1t up said, Because at the close of
every sermon there is a great awaken
ing"
IT Is we'll known that the average
Western Congressman seldom opens
his moth without quitting his foot In
1T )" ana now this unfortunate proclI-
witty seems to be extending to the
nobler animals, an Iowa horse having
nearly choked himself to death by
getting one of his hoofs down his
throat
CRY FRlEND-" Up In town all by
yourself, eh2 Where's the missus 2"
Good old Soul Oh, she be mortal
bad abed, poor thipgl"
Friend" That III spoil your hoh-
day, eh?"
Good old Soul Well, no, sir; if
she pops off suddenly they're to write
up and let me know
A YOUTH of nineteen lately fled from
Dodson, Ohio, 10 escape the clutches
of an enamored girl of twenty two.
AT Rocktield, Indiana, he received this
telegram 6 Get up and dust Sails on
your track close He "dusted y forth
with, but she came up with him in an
obscure Illinois town, and led him back
hnp nd f<>t h.