davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
IN GENERAL.

\ man about 40 years old and a woman
seemingly 20 years of age were at the De
troit and Milwaukee station yesterday
waiting for train, when the man strolcd
out on the dock and caught sight of one of
the city life preservers hanging to its hook
lie asked what it was, and laborer told
him. and then he asked " How long will
it preserve feller's lile?' The man told
him hundred years, and the information
staggered the stranger. Walking around
few minutes as if meditating. he stepped
to his informant and said: - See here.
stranger. I'll take one o them preservers,
and if it wouldn't be askin' too much of
YOU. Id like to have you tell the old wO-
man in there that you haven't another one
for sale. and that the machine which made
'em has busted. ."-Defron Free Press.
That exceedingly rare occurrence, da-
mond wedding, took place in Canton Zu-
rich. Switzerland, last month. and the pas
tor who married the couple, go years ago.
was among the guests, all three being still
robust and in the best of health.
One of Gen. Meigs's newly invented ex-
/ plosive cartridges was tried lately on a
grizzly bear in the Rocky Mountains. and
| fetched him beautifully. The shot entered
the bears head near the ear and exploded,
| disabling him Immediately.
The postmaster general of Madras. India,
| has very mean estimation of linguistic
talent. He adyertises for n clerk who can
read, write and speak English, Hindustani,
Arabic. Bhora, Gazerati and Mahratti, and
all for Sll month.
Two Louisiana robbers took pot luck with
an old lady whose money chest had yielded
them 81 900, and she made them coffee OPP
pressively strong with strychnine. When
they were dead she removed their disguises
and discovered that both were her neigh
bors and one her cousin.
The possessors of the Tiehborne estate are
already out of pocket about $500, 200 by
their fight with the " Claimant" But the
lawyers don't feel particularly mournfu
over it.
A close personal resemblance to person
of doubtful reputation is always unfortu.
nate, but it was positive calamity in tn,
case of Mary Tyler of Gallipolis, .. Mary
is very pretty, ,and she is also very good
but she has a sister Martha who, though
Just as pretty as Mary, and closely resem.
bling her, is decidedly naughty In fact
she has received too much attention frou
Daniel Sullivan, which was wrong, foi
Daniel is married. And when Daniel
wife heard of the intimacy she took shot
gun and went hunting for the wicked Mar
tina, but By chance met Mary, and, mistak
ing her for her sister, wrathfully poured th,
heavy load of buckshot into her innocent
body. Mary lies in dangerous condition
Martha is filed with remorse, and Mrs
Sullivan had fed.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

Nh. RuBY's FrNERAL.- rhe day Mr., Ruby
across the way was to be buried Mrs. Mori-
arty told her daughter Clarinda that she
guessed she would attend, as : he WASH
feeling very well, and ride would do her
good. She knew there would be several
covered carriages furnished at the expense
of the family, and she was equally confident
that it could be 50 managed that she would
occupy a portion of one of them. She was
among the first at the house, and occupied 4
prominent position.
As the other friends arrived she took oc-
caSion to recall "reminiscences of the late
Ruby that brought tears to their eyes, and
when the services were over, as the first
carriage drove up for its load, the distress OF
Mrs. Moriarty at the death of Mr. Ruby was
80 marked as to excite the liveliest sympa-
thy. Then the second coach came up. Mrs.
Moriarty had got down to the gate by this
time, and as the door of the second coach
was opened, and a call made for the Occu-
pants, it seemed extremely doubtful if she
could hold up another instant. She leaned
against the post, and stared into the coach,
and over its rich upholstering, and said the
late Ruby seemed more like a son than a
neighbor. WhereupOn the usher looked
appropriately sad, and called up the third
and last coach. This had yellow cushions
and pink straps, and Mrs. MQTiaHy didn't
hesitate to protest that in the DEAN of Mr..
Ruby the community had met loss it was
not possible to recover from, and that she
would follow him to his last resting-place
if she had to do it on her knees, and would
feel grateful for the opportunity.
Then the third and last coach filed and
drove off to take its place in the line. and
Mrs. Moriaty dried her tears, choked back
the sorrow Of her heart with one mighty
gulp. and strobe into her own house, shut.
ting the front door without the aid of the
knob. She told Clarlnda that it was the
scaliest affair she ever went to, and had il
not been for the body there would have been
no funeral at alls-DsnJury Netcs.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
Robins In the Morning.

Hail. Robin Redbreastl welcome yernal wonder ,
Thou scarlet-thrOated usher of the morn"
80 waroles Aidrieh, blindly struggling under
A contract still to wind his rhthmie horn
But when he might search all the aims of nature
How could he praise this dissipated creature,
Oh what night I've had At eleven O'Clock
CTS sunrise now. sought my grateful bed.
In three hours robins in a countless flock
Began their calathumpian serenade,
And have kept up from two o'clock to six
clatter like a million lunaties.
have not had a single wink Of sleep
Since these marauders walked among the branches
With oaths and gibberish, as Il bound TO keep
The riot like so many wild COmanches,
The jolly gabblers-law and order scorning-
Twas obvious tyeY wouldn't 20 home till morning.
Squeak. squeak chirp. chrp, and shrek and scream
repeating,
Each voice is sounding long enough to crack 1t;
And still assembled in protrscted meeting,
The jewellers keep up the internal racket,
.Oh, Robin Redbreast! On, thou yernal wonder -
wish twculd split your saudy throat asunder
Poor Dryden, rich in eulOsistc words,
. Lived on the bounty Of the fattered king:
so Aldrich. pOet-aureate OF birds,
~ Lauds any Hedging that is said to sing
lie, as greenhorn falls prey to sharpies,
Is quite delighted with these feathered harpies
All, how my head aches Still the red throats ripple
With shrill refrains, inviting every missile;
They're drunk upon the atmospheric tipple
ANA sing in chorus like n vanished WHISTLE
hOnotonous music-but without a flaw.
As when a hler files a saw-mill saw.
Do you. dear lady tell me, to my face,
That IN brute " and this a cruel creed,
depreeate your wrath-in proper place
ike these brides very much indeed
On toast, you know; yes. thank YOU, Mrs. Kelly,
With green peas-and a little currant Jelly
Minneapolis Tribune
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
From the New York Sun.
ErnnlnN.A Snrrlrncns
WHAT CANE OF CLEARING Up Tx EDITOR S
SANCTTN

WHAT CANE OF CLEARING Up Tx EDITOR 5
sANCTUN.
The interior, third story editorial room on
Nassau street. 20 long occupied by Mr.. Gree
ley, had become exceedingly dingy. Its
furniture was in the last stages of dilapida-
ton. Various propositions to improve il
had been vetoed by the occupant, who fear
ed that any attempt at change would de-
range the order of his papers and books OF
reference. But, one saturday, while the
sage was chopping wood at Chappaqua,
the burly engineer, Patrick o 'Rourke came
up with host Of helpers, and pretty soon
had everything tOpsy-turvy. The carpet
was torn up by the roots. and the subsoil
shoveled out from under it. The furniture
was hustled aside, the walls were Scraped
and papered. the woodwork painted,a new
carpet laid, and by nightiall Patrick. as he
surveyed the wholesome change. cOngratu-
lated himself on the wOndrOuS achieve
ment.
Next day Mr.. Greeley. coming in fresh
from the serene influences of DIR. Chaplin :
sermon, was struck dumb with wonder at
the metamOrph0sis Without a word he
slumped down into his easy chair and thrust
his feet under the desk. apparently in fine
mood to do justice 10 bleeding Kansas, or
castigate the rascally free traders. Hardly
had he touched his seat, however. when he
sprang up, as though stuug. and pointed
under his desk, shrieked. in his SqueakieSt
tones
What-thief has stolen my specimens
-w-h- h-er-e-s my specimens -
The people from the outer Office rushed in
at the row, and pretty soon Mr.. Greeley
was appriSed that Patrick O'ROurke was
Il. l.. Il. - IL. q 1 I !
his sanctum.
- Send him up here" yelled Horace
" send him up"
30 Patrick was summoned from the vault
of the establishment, where he was engaged
in getting up steam on Sunday for Monday
morning paper. Patrick came in expect
ing 70 be complimented for his thorough
work. Slowly wiping the perspiratiOn from
his forehead on his bare, brawny arm, he
drew up to the editor. his face wreathed in
smiling anticipation. But the angry coun-
tenance warned poor Patrick that storm
was imminent
What is it, Mr. Greeley" he mildly
queried.
- Pat, where's my specimens screamed
Horace, pointing to the vacant spot under
his desk.
Specimens Mr.. Greeley Specimens
meekly responded Pat.
- Yes; the specimens kept under there, .
said Horace
Well, Mr.. Greeley" .blurted out Pat
rick, g don't know anything about yei
spccimens-but if ye name that ould TYPE
box full of rocks ye KEEP under there, why
they only Uttered up the place. an threw
'em into the street -
"You damned fool - screamed Horace
Didn't you know that box of specimens
was all had to show for twenty thousand
dollars worth of copper stocks?" and th'
good man sunk HISTORICALLY, back in hi
seat, to ponder on his misfortune, whil'
poor Pat, thoroughly humbled, hurried on
to recover what he could of the lost treas
ure. lie succeeded in finding some of them
and put them in the cellar for safe keep
ing.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

4 TRIAL of FENiANIsu.-Au cXtra0rdICa-
ry incident, arising apparently out OF the
Fcuian outbreak of l-67, has taken place
in London. Ii Will he remembered that IN
the autumn of that year an attempt was
made To blow up the House of Detention IN
Clerkenweu. London. o proceeding which
caused the llyelicst alarm, lnasmuch aS il
was suspected TO bconly thcprelude to much
more of the same kind of thing. \ few
weeks ago q woman named Denny left the
lodgings which She had occupied for some
time while living with Fenian named Des-
mond Among her effects which she bor-
r0wCl q ncighb0r truck % remove, was
box which presently was discovered To be on
fire The mob pulled the box of the truck,
when some Of the contents exploded The
place was int up Us If the whole OF the street
was on fire. aud the contents OF some OF the
cans it contained We're kicked about. Seven
or eight persons were injured by the fire,
more especially a sweep, who was severely
burned and Is now an inmate of the hOSpl-
tai. The affair seems 90 have been most Sc
rious. Several fire engines We're brought
out for the purpose of extingulshing the
flames that had broken out, but were not
required, the Inilammab.e matter having
been promptly taken away \ woman in
Jumping from the first floor to escape from
the flames. broke her leg and Is now in a
very critical State \ man in rescuinE a
little girl burned his hands Two police
constablcs while attempting to put ont the
fire in the house were much burned in the
hands and have been incapacitated from
duty After the fire was extinguished, a
rigid examination Of thcprcmise> was made
by the fircmen, and one of them in search
ing the room of Desmond, with whom the
woman lived. discovered can about two
feet high. lie was about to strike it with
his axe when he saw the smoke issuing from
it. and he then placed it in n pail of water
and conveyed i; to the yard, where it was
covered over with sand and ashes The can
appeared to be filled with the composition
and notwithstanding the precautions taken,
the content slburst into a subdued flame
which lasted for several hours, emitting a
most sufiocating odor. The utmost alarm
prevailed among the inhabitants of the mar
row court, many of whom remained up all
night and IL was commonly believed that
the Greek fire had been intended for Fenian
purposes. Mrs. Denny was remanded, the
magistrate entirely rcfusin. bail.-N. Y.
| World.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

DDN'r LIKE MuTToN.-A good story is
told of the recent excellent performance of
Handel's Messiah at a Baptist church. \
farmer took his wife to heat the grand mu-
sic 50 splendidly rendered on that occasion,
and after listening with apparent enjoyment
the pair became suddenly interested in one
of grand choruses I'VE all, like sheep,
have gone astray."
First sharp soprano voice exclaimed :
=" We all. like sheep
Next bass voice uttered in a most earn
est tone I'VE all, like sh eep-"
Then all the singers at once asserted :
" We all, like sheep"
- Darned if do - exclaii ned old Rusti-
Gus to his partner, Il like eef and bacon,
but can't bear sheep meat
There was an audible tittel in that yiein-
ity, but the splendid music at tracted the at
tention from the pair, and key quietly slip
ped out.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

INTELLIGENT DoGs.-The New Orleans Pr
cagme tells the following stories about two
intelligent dogs
We have a little friend who owns twodosS
Othello and DeSdemona, both of chon hue,
and splendid animals of their kind for
while Othello Is a Newfoundland of the lar
gest size. Desde Is n miniature terrier, about
the weight of a kitten. Though so dissi-
milar IN height, they are the best of friends.
and any infringement Of the rights OF either
is looked upon with distaste by the other.
When first introduced. Desde was nothing
bat puppy, and was Immediately appropri-
ated by the Newfoundland, who, deeming its
pleasure must lay in the same line as himself,
marched with it off to a large tub Of water
and dropping it in. watched with the greatest
gusto its efforts and cries in endeayouring 10
get out.
Othelo's great pleasure l. to 20 to market
CARRYING the basket with tine utmost selt-pos-
session and dignity, any insult To himself
upon these occasions being looked upon with
the greatest soiemnity and contempt. He is
not at all selfish in this, however. for one day.
coming down 10 20 to market. Mr. found
him standing with the basket in his mouth,
and De-demona barking inside. where She
had been evidently tumbled by her big friend,
he approaching the fact that it might be IA
tiguing to her TO walk such a dIstance-nor
would he be quiet unless she was allowed To
accompany the party.
Another day he was observed standing at
the front door, watching with the greatest
interest lady who had a little black and
tan about Desde's size. tied by string and
wrapped in a little coat. Suddenly, without
warning, he made rush for the iucklesS
couple. and Seiziug the dog in his mouth fled
with it to where Desdemona was and depo-
sited it in the box alongside of its sleeping
iavorite.
1t is needless to say that the lady received
back her pet. much frightened and though
minus its jacket, greatly relieved to get ont
OF the big animals clutches.
As an example of more than animal ms
tinct. though, we think the following unsur-
passed
4 crowd of boys used to frequent an alley
in the rear of the house and annoy Othello
very much by pounding at the gate and
running away when he rushed to get at
them. One day they were worse than usual,
and, after making vain efforts to catch them,
he quietly went round to the front door,
which was open. and walking around quiet
ly, as it appeared, to the rear, where the
alley opened into the street. seized one Of
the boys when they ran out, and held him
until released by some one about the pre-
miSeS
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

AcTlNG BY RULE.-In Pottsyille, when
anything happens, the people consider that
a religious duty devolyes upon them to hold
a meeting and to pass resolutions upon it
and 50 strong has this habit become that
some citizens of the place, Whenever the
breakfast bell rings, call a meeting of the
family, elect officers, and resolve to 90 down
stairs and eat the meal The other day a
woman fell into the canal and sank. y large
crowd Of men were standing upon the bank
at the time. and they instantly proceeded to
organize ameeting for the purpose ofdeyising
means for rescuing the woman After a
spirited debate, man named Collins wa,
elected chairman; and. on taking his seat.
Mr.. Collins not only thanked the meeting
very warmly for the compliment offered him.
but he made 4 long speech, in which he dis
cuSsed the tariff, the coal product for Is, l.,
and the Alabama claims. \ series Of reso-
lutionS were then offered, and after q pro-
longed discussion and the acceptance OF Sc
yeral amendments, they were passed. They
embraced a protest against the depth 0i the
canal. regrets that all women are not taught
to swim, and resolved to rescue the partieu-
lar woman who had fallen overheard. \
committee Of one was appointed to dive for
her lie dove. and brought the woman to
the surface by her hair. just then it occur
red to him that he had not been ordered 20
bring her to shore 50 lie let her sink again,
and swan to the bank to report progress and
ask for further instructions Action was
taken upon the report and after an exciting
discussion he was directed To land the woman
H.. N.r
her out. None Of the women in Pou-yilie
can hold their breath more than an hour and
half at time, 50 when this one WIS re-
covered She was dead. The meeting said it
was sorry, but it was vastly more important
that things should be done deccntly and in
order, and according to rule, than the life of
a woman should be saved. The woman has
NOT exIres-el her views yet.-Mlr la.Lr.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
Faith. Hopr, Charity.

You wonder why O'er liie's rough sea,
NV fraii bark doth so gaiiy glide;
have three Angels by my side,
Three Angels sail by me.
The frs. she bids my soul be strong;
S,e points me % a cross-scarred form
hear nor heed LIES widest storm
While listening TO her song.
She bids me- VIXEN the waters roll
Heaven -hi gh, to look alOit to Him
Before whose brightness stars are dim,
And trust to Him my soul.
The next, an anchor in her hand,
When the heart iaints amid the strife,
And the black waves yawn for my life,
Talks OF the Summer-land.
see the glad port just ahead
wake as from pleasant dream,
Besond the whirl OF waves / seem,
To clasp my kindred dead.
The third. the loveliest Of the three,
While shipwrecked barks float to and fro.
Bids me with open hand 70 throw
Nj bread upon the sea,
Aud then 70 hear sweet words Of love,
To see the grateful tear-drops flow
Oh. this t0 me IS heaven below,
And viii be heaven above.
And this IS why, mid gloom and glee,
My life-bark doth SO gaily glide &c.
God keep these Angels by my side,
TIL ] have crossed the sea.
-Or0land MoHihiy.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

BY John C. SANE.
glance. q smilo-l see It yet
4 moment ere the train was starting,
How strange 90 tell we scarcely met.
Aud yet ] felt pang NJ parting
And you-ala- that all the while
TIsI alone who am coniesslng-
What thought was lurking in your smile
ls quite hcyund my simple guessing.
Iouly know whose bcaming rays
Awuke IN me strange emotion.
Which. haskiu- 10 their warmer blaze,
Perhaps M ght kindle 10 devotion.
An many heart as sianeh as this.
By smiling lips allured from duty
Has sunk in Passions dark abyss
' Wrecked on the coral reefs OF Beauty
And So. 'tis we'll Tie trains swift ai-ht.
That tore away my charming stranger
Took her-ti0d hlcss her out 90 sight
And me as quickly out % danger.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19
IsU NOEtOTS.

Grace Greenwood relates, as an instance %
the extravaganza of New England humor.
that when . Young farmers wife made her
first boys pants precisely as ample before as
behind. the father exclaimed, IS Goodness
he WON'T know whether he's going to school
or coming home
The young gmanwhoiniormed hissweetheart
that his mou.tachc was coming on well. was
met with the statcment.-''Nlay be: but it
isn't coming ont we'll
John Phonix used to tell the following
little story
The firm of "Call & Tuttlc" is well
known clothing house on Washington street
Boston. Some years ago, quizHcal look
ing stranger of rather n rural air, walked IN
to the store, and, addressing one of the
clerks. remarked. Il want to futile.
What. Sir?" CALCULATED the startled clerk
Il want to tuttle,' replied the stranger, IN
a somewhat raised tone, and with increased
emphasis. Il don't understand YOU, SIR,
said the mvstifed clerk. Why, look
here said the stranger, lit says on youl
sign Call and Tuttlc Now I've called and
want to futile"
\ party went mp the river from Central
Bridges Yesterday afternoon. boating. When
the mills were shut down the water ran
away. and left them stranded on the rocks
where the ladies sat Ike - PaticnccS on
monuments" smiling ut CRIES who had then
trousers rolled up and trying to push oil
LoirfU Courier.
Rev Thomas Whittemorc, d. d.. had the
reputation Of being humorous man, who
often employed his wit in the pulpit. W hilC
President Of the Vermont and Massachusetts
Railroad Corporation, he walked the entire
length of the road that he might haze per
sonal knowledge of its condition. Nhl'
looking at some men who were moving lo
of new rails, and were handling them very
roughly, he rcpro1ed them.
The boss of the gang, not knowing him
said 6. You 20 To-
last place should wish to % to
D." We'll said the man, q" it is the las
place You will 60 to-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

The Central and Hudson River Railroad
has declared a halfyearly dividend of four
per cent. The gross receipts for the half
year amount to Sli, 500 900. an increase Of
nearly $4,000, 900 over the corresponding
period last year.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

EFFECTS or A SERENADE.-Ihe Atlanta
Constitution says; \ yonng gentleman OF
Macon. who is not in the musical way HIM
self. but considers that he is n good judge OF
such matters. concluded to serenade his
sweetheart the other night In pursuance
of this praiSeworthy design, he hired lu-
veniie African and harmGnicon for ten
cents. and betook himself and his colorcd as
sistant to his angels house. During the en-
suing half-hour the midnight zephyrs bore
into the adjacent windows a beautiful sup
ply of the most intensely dolefTl music that
ever tortured the human ear. At length the
second story window opened. The young
gentleman struck a pensiye attitude, and
waited for his sweetheart to return hel
thanks. She did return her thanks. They
were pretty warm, and nigh on to two gal
Ions in quantity. Their advent was follow
ed by a confused sound as of footsteps retir-
ing with unwonted rapidity, a peculiar odol
as if somebody had boiled Niger in that
neighbOrhood. and all was still The young
gentleman did not come to business next
day. He spent the time in tub filled witt
sweet oil and ice, and sent word that he had
been struck by lightning.