The Hawaiian gazette., 1873-10-08
The Family Letter.
How the Materials PrOcured-How They
ore Used--NVhat Becomes Of the Remit.


are Used--what Becomes OF the Result.
The family letter is written on Sunday.
The reason that day is selected is not
alone because of the leisure it presents.
The quiet of the day, its relief from all in
fuences that irritate or agitate, frees the
mind from irrelevant and antagonistic
matter, and makes it pre-eminently fit
occasion for communing with distant
loved ones. In nine cases out of ten the
letter is written by the head of the fami-
ly, and of those sent an equal proportion
is addressed to his wife's folks We don't
know why it is that man so rarely
writes to his own folks, but as it is not
the province of this article to treat on
that subject, we pretend we don't care
The hour being selected for inditing the
letter, the first thing is to find the paper.
There is always drawer in every we'll
regulated family for keeping such things
1t is either in the table or stand. Here
the writing paper and odd screws and
fiddle strings and broken locks and fish
lines and grocery recei pts are kept There
may be other things, but if there are he
will see them. The sheet of paper is
finally found the fly stains neatly scraped
of, and the search commences for the ink
and pen. The former is invariably found
on the mantel next TO the clock, and is
Immediately laid on the table convenient
to the peSpiring man, who sarcastically
inquiries if the letter is to be written to-
day or next Sunday. This inspires the
wife with new zeal in the search She
goes over the drawer again, because she
knows he wouldn't see anything if it was
right under his nose, but the pen is not
there. Then she looks over the top of
the bureau, and lifts everything on the
front room table, and says it seems so
singular it can't be found, when she saw
it only the day before, and thought about
the letter Then she goes into the pan
try, and after exploring the lower shelf in
vain, stands upon chair, and carefully
goes over the top shelf, where the medi-
cine bottles and unused cans are station
ed. After she has done this, she starts up
stairs and pretty soon returns with the
pen, and takes it to the sink to wash the
grease from it, but does not succeed in
quite efacing the delicate scent of ber-
gamot. This leads him to observe that
anybody who takes pen-holder to lift
hair grease from bottle is too pure and
innocent for this world, Everything now
in readiness, good humor is restored, the
wife takes seat opposite with her elbows
on the table, and her chinin her hands, and
assumes an expression of countenance that
is mysteriously calculated to both encour-
age and depress the writer; and he grasps
the pen tightly between his fingers, and
stares at the paper with an intensity that
is entirely unnecessary. The date line
starts off glibly and then suddenly ceases
as it reaches the date itself. He puts the
holder in his mouth and Immediately
spits it out again, making up face that
is no wise suggestive of bergamot, and
pettishly asks her if she knows the day of
the month. OF course she does. It isthe
lSth-or is it the-but not must be.
She hesitates, stares at him, waivers and
is lost She don't know whether it is the
18th or 18th, but the almanac will tell,
and she at once starts to hunt it up.
This occasions a delay of some fifteen
minutes, during which he makes ninety
FIVE passes at one fly. The date having
been satisfactorily settled upon, and the
things which rolled over the floor as that
stand drawer Unexpectedly fell out hav-
ing been restored to their plsce, the date
line is completed and s'Dear mother"
started. the pen is home pen of BASH
full mould, and whenever it starts line it
requires half dozen passes to make it