The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-08-23
The Squire's Visitors.
HOW RURAL RELATIVES ARE TREATED
IN PEORIA.

squire bhnks, q retired old gentle
man, lives away down on Seventh street.
The other morning three old ladies from
Macon county came to his house on a
visit. They used to know his wife be.
fore she was married. The Squire well
coined them to his mansion, and then
went cut to the barn and swore for haitian
hour. While he was soothing himself
thus his wife called him into the house.
She handed him an umbrella to keep off
the sun, and said the ladies had walked
up from the depot and left some things
there for him to bring up. So he
brought them up, making two round,
trips for the baskets, band boxes, and
.tao black Oh cleah Eraseslsg bags, al OF
which the Squire disconrteously called
internal Old traps
AS he sat IN the back kitchen wipins
his brow, his wife brought out the mar
ket basket aud said thore was not a bit
of sugar or tea in the house, and she re.
mark ID that while he was going down
town he might as we'll get the molasscs-
jug filed. The Squire aksed her how
long those old migratory pelicans were
going to stay. And she asked him If
he thought she would be so rude as to
ask them. Then the Squire went down
and laid in the groceries. When he
got back bis wife said she had forgotten
something and thought Of it just when
it was too late. She must have. some
corn-starch. The Squire asked her if
any of the old scarce crows had dropped
the least hint as to the duration of their
visit. She said not. The Squire looked
SAD aud disconted.
When he had the paper ofcorn- starch
on the table, his wife said they must
have cod fish for dinner. One of the.
ladies said in the course of conversation,
that she was fond Of Goldfish. The
Squire asked If the old buzzards he'd yet
committed themselves on the extent of
their present roost. She said he ought
to be ashamed of himself.
When he slapped the cod fish down
on the table with whang his wife got
him to bring in some water and wood:
said Mr.. Spoonaug,r said she never
dine without ale, and the Squire was
asked if he would go down and bring
up bottle. He asked if he shouldn't
60 into the parlor and get those old
cormorants to make out list of what
they did like, and furthermore asked if
they were yet silent as to when they
thought they could go away
He got the ale, aud for fear he would
have to srot down tuHn again, he hired
an express wagon aud loaded it with all
sorts of garden truck, bottle of whis-
key, box Of sardines, pound of suuff,
some cove oysters, dried apples, beans,
smoked tongue, cut aud dried tobacco
! picked waluuts. canned corn, mackeral, /,
split peas; etc. ~ "a
She next day the Squire was sent
down town only eight times.
Early the next morning he started out
into the country to see a. man. When
he got home he asked his wife If any
time had been set for che departure. On
the evening of the following Mcada,
one Of the ladies said she thought they
ought TO start on the next Friday, SO as
to reach homo before Sunday. SAira.
Binks said they oughtn't to be In a,hnl
r.. The Squire grcaned and said the,
oyght to stay aud make their visit out
! oniFriday morning the Squire had al