Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-07-13
PARAGRAPHICAL.

A station agent on one of the railroads
leading iuto this city, addresses his returns to
''Gnashville," Tenn.
A Nashville colored individual "'sper.
J fenced religion" few weeks ago, and now
he and his wife have lively quarrel every
day as to which of them shall say grace at
| the table.
They have very fine mocking bird at
the Nashville postoffice now, who does the
| whistling for the whole establishment, thus
relieving the clerks from that duty, and en-
aiding them to devote all their time and
| energies TO asserting and distributing the
mails.
The funny man of the Banner sharpened
two pencils at both ends night before last,
lied wet towel about his throbbing brows,
sat down on five cent chunk OF ice, and
then wrote this para graph: "a boy broke
his big toe in South Nashville yesterday
I against a rock. II was toe bad" And
yet the Banner claims to be moral paper.
The Danbury man INDUCES in DIT Of
sarcasm when he remarks that "the dash
| ing style of dress with which q Nelson
street woman appeared at a dance the 9TH
er evening created no more attention than
the agile motions of her husband on the
floor, which were remarkable in view ofthe
fact that one of his suspenders was held by
match" And the Danbury ma is mar
ried too, but we don't know that he resides
on "Nelson street."
Owing TO the activity and enterprise of
our municipal suthoritEes, quite a number
Of CANNES were induced to hand in their
checks yesterday and the day previous. 1t
seems almost a pity that these dogs were
killed through the agency of strychnine, for
if they had been shot instead, their remains
might have been converted into an excel
lent article of "country sausage" The
writer heaves a couple of signs as he re-
fleets upon the wasteful extravag ,nce of
the age.
1t is in this way that the natural playful
ness of the childish heart is cruelty repress-
ed in Savannah, Ga: "Joseph Davis,
play full African Juvenile, amused hmselfby
placing watermelon rinds upon the sidewalk
to bring the casual pc 'estrian TO grief. The
festive cuss had an introduction to the po-
lice Judge, but his economical nanny saw
ed tho costs by cultiVatiny his cuticle with
a respectable strap" It is pleasant to know,
however, that the strap used by that Heco-
nomical NANNY" was a respectable"
one.
The same road has In its employ Ger
man station maste~, who was believed some
time ago, his son Rudolph being appointed
in his place. For few weeks after the
change, the returns would sometimes be
signed by the father and sometimes by Ru-
dolph. Finally, the Nashville agent ad
dressed letter of inquiry to the old man,
In order to know which Of the two had
oI,o 81 80 ofa Tho hn
ceived was somewhat mixed, and failed TO
convey the information SOUGHT, as it read:
81 don't know whether Rudoli is mein son
OF NIGHTS. You asks the Superintendent"
The following paragraph is gOirg the
rounds of the exchanges: "FJur young
women have entered upon the philosoph-
icsl course at the University of Rome.
They are skillful shorthand writers, an art
that is absolutely necessary at this Univer
sity, as ali lectures are required to be taken
down veI batim by the students" When it
is known that there are less than one hun
bred verbatim shorthand writers in the
United States, ont of the many thousands
who understand the art, the utter absurdity
OF the statement thai the students st any
University are required to stake down the
lectures verbatim" will be seen at glance.
A Canada paper asks too much when it
asks us to believe this story of CanUck
who was returning from circus, accompa-
MED by his sweetness: "He was driving in
a one-horse buggy, and was going at a good
smart pace when, from some unexplained
cause, he did not see four year old steer
that was lying in the road, and before he
was aware of it drove over the animal. The
steer rose up suddenly with the buggy on
its back, and for few yards horse, buggy,
lovers and steer went together tremendously
at full trot, but the steer diverging destroyed
the equilibrium, and buggy, steer, young
lady, horse and VIM. StocKdale retired into
the ditch"
An unfortunate chap who has been badly
fooled by one of 'em, cheerfully tells what
he knows about widows, in the fOlloWin
beautiful language:
f'She is modest, but not bashful,
Free and easy, but not bold,
Like an apple ripe and mellow,
Not too young, yet not too old;
Half inviting, half repulSiye,
Now advancing and now shy,
There il mischief in her dimple,
There is danger i'll her eye.
She has studied human nature,
She is schOoled in all its arts;
She has taken her diploma
As the mistress OF all hearts.
She can tell the very moment
When to sigh and when to smile;
0, maid is sometimes charming,
But a widow all the while
Are You sad? How very serious
Will her handsome face become.
Are you angry, she is wretched,
Lonely, friendless, fearful, dumb.
Are You mirthful? How her laughter
understanding, will ring out.
She can lure, and catch, and play you,
As an angler does a trout.