The Daily state journal. [volume] (Alexandria, Va.) 1868-1874, 1873-10-15
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HJsroROUs.

donkey.
Why's a knoekdown blow like colo
1st! Because it's settler.
Why are publicans like rich men d? Be-
cause they are inn-dependent.
why is a ladder like q prize fight +?
Because it is made up of rounds.
Why do people generally dislike .oat-
cake Because it is nothing to (wh)eat.
The gardener who grated chestnut
to box-tree found it produced only large
trunks.
Why is sharpening knife an ex-
pensive practice? Because you get lid of
the blunt. Fl
Why is a sawyer like lawyer? Be-
cause whichever way he works, down
comes the dust.
What is the difference between mouse
and grl?s One harms the cheese and the
other charms the he's. ~ assA
-When the enterprising butchers as
sistant "set up on his own hook" did he
find comfortable seat?
E-"Man is mystery,n said a young
lady to her beau, eyes, DEAR said he,
"and girl is MISERY"
The world is full Of compensations.
The more prices go up, the more we have to
"come down. for everything.
when voyager makes his way to. the
top OF the Pyramids, we presume he is en-
joying the benefits of foreign climb.
Why is a vain young lady like a COM
firmed drunkard? Because neither is sat
isGed with moderate use of the glass.
Why is married lady less likely to
suffer from hunger than a spinster ?
Because she always has HERRING to eat.
A sufferer suggests an improvement
in the photography of the word panics.
He thinks it would be better to spell it
paynic s'stiaA q 10 "
| "A young lady of sixteen who had
| worn short dresses all her life, positively
told her mamma she would wear them no
"longer."
A patent fire-escape killed four men
in Montreal the other day, and there wasn't
any fire either they were only expert
menting with the thing.
Why are Goals the most extraordinary
articles known to commerce p Because
when purchased, instead Of going to the
buyer, they 60 to the cellar.
A notice in the ears on railroad in
Pennsylvania informs the public that ''no
gentleman will occupy more than one seat
at time unless he be twins" 'sfgaR'
The Indianapolis folks are being
delighted by mammoth painting of the
| Prodigal Son. They believe he used to
live in Indianapolis, and that he has come
| home to stay. 49, ,,.,.f..s, .g..s.4
Husband, who had been out West on
business, and left his wife some blank
checks" Mary, / find you have consider
ably overdrawn at the bank" ssMary-
"Nonsense, John, how can that be?p I've
two of those blank checks lett yet.p
| A western, reporter saw bank presi-
dent hnrrying down town early in the
morning, andat once interviewed him,
elicting the important information that the
man Of greenbacks had forgotten the pre-
| vious evening to get, any beefsteak 70,
breakfast. A's7-'shf ~ i'''Aa 81
"A telegraph operator at Elmira las
month summoned a doctor from Wellsburgf
thus: "Come at once to see procession O
Carrie Spencer's Menagerie.n The mes
sage, when repeated, read "Come Al
once with prescription-ca Of cerebro
spinal meningitis"
A Detroit man went into q telegraph
office and wrote the following message
'HEo the Lord in Heaven--Where shall
60 next? The world is growing worse
every day. There is not an honest Chris
tan in America He was informed tina
the lines didn't connect. ss.3,sza
-Squires lady: "And how has you
brother Jack been behaving lately, Sally?'
s'Thank'ee, my lady, ee baint bin no wuss
! ee are read tho good book as you sent i'm
and bin twice to Sunday-school, and
don't seem to have done him any particu
'arm at present. London Fun.
An English vicar was standing, on
Monday morning, at his gate, when one Q
, his parish;oners arrived with basket ful
, of potatoes. "What's this?" said tn
vicar. PLEASE. sir, replied the man
ssiPs some of our best taturs-a very rar
J kind, sir. My wife said you should hav
some Of them, as she heard you say j
your sermon that common taturs (commen
tators) don't agree with you"
) "A Brenton peasant on his way t
2 Paris stopped at a barber's shop in Ram
t bouillet. While the barber was strappin
| his razor, the peasant noticeda dog sittin
) in his chair and staring at him fercely
| "What is the matter with that dog ?" Th
barber answered, with an unconcerned air
, "That dog is always there. You see whel
| | cut off an ear-well he eats it,"
' AS cool a person, under the circun
a stances, as was ever heard of was a your
+ nobleman, who, in frightful railroad acc
s dent, missed his valet. One Of the qua
!. dams came up to him and SAID |: M
lord, we have found your servant but he
4 cut in two." saw. is he ?" said the your
. man, with a Dundreary drawl, but sti
: with anxiety depicted on his countenanc'
t ''Will you be gwood enough to see in whc
n half he has got the key of my carpet-bag?
0 ROOMS REP. EXECUTIVE COM'TEE,
: RIcHMoNp, September IL, 1878.
The Executive Committee has made the fl
| loving amendments