Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1873-10-16

has not arrived at the proud pinacle only at
tained by Hook, it may be because oppor
tunity is wanting, or such things are hardl,
regarded in the same innocent light as the,
were thirty or forty years ago, and are pun
ishable OtfenSes. By profession Frencl
horn player, whether his jokes are used as ,
method of reclanle or not, we do not care t,
determine about. AS all artist he stand
without rival. On his instrument he DOS
sesses an dmpleur, a pureness of sound ,
degree of feeling, power of executing
| which are unsurpassed. He has even accom-
plished the impossible on this difficult instru
ment, playing a distinct first and second, OF
an accompaniment, all at the same time
But even the wonderful musical attainment:
he possesses are subservient to his practica
jokes. Playing every known instrument
with wonderful skill, a true Bohemian, he
has been known to delight public fair, fol
lowed by an attendant in cart, in which was
| piano and stock of instruments, and tc
play on each one in turn, only that instead
OF receiving money from the crowd, he would
distribute it after the performance OF course
this brought such throng that all the booths
were deserted, and the business of the fair
had to be discontinued until the gratuitous
musician was removed. Going to London
some years ago, he became such nuisance
that the guardians of the peace were only
glad when his musical engagements were
over, and he left for France. A favorite
amusement of his was to leave his lodgings
with dressing case in his hand, and, going
to cab station, to select certain vehicle
Getting inside, lie would direct cabby to
drive to some public square, selecting one of
the most throngedin in London. Having arrived
there he would order halt, and request the
coachman to block the wheels. Inside the
cab our practical joker would take off his
coat, put on a robe de chambre, and then
proceed to unpack his dressing case A
small mirror would be hung on the carriage
windows, and on the seats would be arranged
all the articles necessary for most luxuri-
Gus shave. Calmly unconscious OF the first
two or three little boys, who were watching
the operation, somewhat amazed at seeing a
mans face covered with lather, gazing at
them in most undisturbed manner, this tiny
nucleus would very soon form the centre of
a large crowd. Certainly from the deliberate
movements of the gentleman in the cab
nothing but the most perfect shave would
satisfy him. The assemblage would split
their sides at the comical way in which he
approached the neighborhood of his nose
when shaving his upper lip, or shrek with
horror, fearful that they would witness sui
eide, as he would draw his razor across his
throat. At last the street would become i'm
passable, and policeman would enter on the
scene, edging his way with difficulty through
the crowd, and the matter would end by the
arrest of the practical joker as disturber of
the public peace. Before the magistrate,
when condemned to pay fine, the musician
would allege that London was so dark, so
foggy, that he never could see to shave him
self except in the street, and not liking to sit
on the curbstone or on a house steps, he had
thought that cab transformed into dress
ing-room was not only the most ingenious
but very intelligent way of getting rid of
bis superfuous beard.
Never at rest travelling from one end of
the continent to another, his chief object in
life seemed to be to worry custom-house Of
fcials. Travelling with q quantity of bag
gage, and being an inimitable actor, he would
pretend to conceal two of them, huge trunk
and smaller one, from the eyes of the off,
cials, only the more to excite their curiosity.
At last the larger trunk would be opened. 1t
would be found to contain thousands of Sec
Qnd-hand pantaloon straps, an appendix to
trousers now perfectly obsolete. In vain the
custom-house people would try to cudgle their
brains to solve the mystery. They had to all
be bundled out to the very last one, but, to
their amazement, no two straps were found
to be alike. They had evidently been packed
by hydraulic pressure, for the most frantic
efforts on the part of the employees would
not put them back again into the trunk. In
the meantime hundreds of passengers were
at the detention, while the practical
joker calmly looked on at the bother he was
causing. But the second and smaller trunk
was now to be examined, and the custom
house people hoped there to find him in de-
fault They ask for the keys. The practical |
Joker draws punches of ponderous keys
from every one of his pockets none will fit !
until at last, their patience exhausted, the |
officials threaten to burst the |
runk open. Then the possessor of this par i
icular trunk calmly asks the angry officer if |
ne is married. ''What is that your business?"
S the surley reply. ''Only this, that before
you open that trunk would advise you to 60 |
nome, shake hands with your wife, kiss your
title children, write your will, and call at an
as you come back-there are rat
lesnakes in that trunk. never travel with
,ut them. Of course the man leaves the
runk instantly, and messenger has to be
,ent to the head director, who is shrewd
enough to be aware that he has to do with
ome practical joker. Presently the official
eturns and asks pompously: slow many
makes have you, sir3" Only six" is the re-
,ly, ':look for yourself" T" ''Oh! only six.
The head of the department says six snakes
AN pass, but that seven would have had to
nav duty. am also directed to say to you
hat if you donot leave this oflce-pantaloOn
traps. snakes and all--in five minutes. you
will be forcibly elected" 'And who is to
epack my precious straps, collection un-
qualed in the history of the world2 The
aw entities me to all my goods. You took
hem out, put them back again. The best
,eriod of my life is being devoted to finding |
,airs for those straps. But am in the cruel
.roan of the law. and have no time to defend