The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1873-04-03
"clCARS FOR TWO

"cIcARS FOR TWO"
"Smokes, does he The abomina-
BILE wretch I" exclaimed Mrs. Volant
to her friend. Mrs. Washburn. a
young wife who had just gone to
housekeeping.
"He smokes, but is not an
sbominable wretch am sure he Is
not" replied Mrs. Washburn, a lit
tie startled at the hard name applied
to her husband, whom she both low
ed and esteemed.
"Not wretch ?"
"No, am sure he is not"
ayes, he is any husband, espe-
cially one who has been married only
a year, and won't leave off smoking,
when his wife desires it, must be
wretch"
"No, you overstate the case. He
is everything that husband ought
to be-so kind, SO devoted, SO indul
gent-but, then, l do wish he would
not smoke"
"You must break him Of 1T, the
cruel monster! !"
"Please, dom; call him such hard
names. l love him with all my
heart, if he does smoke"
"Well 1 suppose you do; yoeng
wives are apt to be foolish"
"Foolish ?"
eyes he sees, l dare say, that
you love him, and SO he takes advan-
tsge of you.''
"Why, Mis-. Volant, don't you
love your husband"
"Well, I suppose / do but there
is no use telling him of it. I make
him think I don't care anything for
him. Why, l can manage him as
easily as / could kitten"
"I don't like that; / think there
ought to be love and confidence be-
tween man and WIFE"
"Pooh %
"You cannot be happy with him" "
81 should not if I became his
slave!'
"Not his slave"
"Don't you believe it. When you
have been married as long as l have,
you will get rid of some Of these
sentimental notions, which, do very
well for a year or two. But become
very announcement after that"
"FoI my part, l always mean to
love my husband as l do now, If 1T
is sentimental"
"See if you do! Husbands must
be carefully managed, or they be-
come tyrants. Now, my husband
smoked the first year afte We were
married; but then he was little
careful about bringing his cigar into
the house, for l told him up
and down, that I would not have
it.
81 should think he would have re-
belled.
she did, but not at first. One
night, about year after we were
married he brought home whole
bundle of cigars, and put them on
the mantle piece. Taking one, he
coolly lighted it, and proceeded to
read the evening paper"
"That is just the way my husband
! does"
81 was down wright mad at his
impudence, but l did not say a
word. The next day / bought a
monstrous great snuff box. and filled
it full of rappee. In the evening he
lighted his cigar as before, but no
sooner had he done SO than seated
myself opposite him, and drawing
out my snuff box I took a generous
pinch, shutting the filthy stuff into
my nose at the risk of sneezing my
head off,"
SHOW funny!
"My husband did not think so.
He looked at me in astonishment,
"You take snuff ?" he asked. 81 do,
at least mean to learn" l replied.
'.Its a filthy habit" says he. emo
worse than smoking" says I. We
debated the matter some time, and
at last he gave up the point, and
promised to throw away his cigar if
/ would throw away my snuff"
"And did he never smoke any
more ?" asked Mrs. Washburn,
laughing.
eyes, he began once after but l
took to snuff again, and then he gave
it mp"
"And are you sure he does not
smoke now?"
eff he does, he never let's me see
him. My sitting room is not all
smoked up, like yours isl
"It was glorious trick"
"That it was, and 1 advise you to
try it on Mr.. Washburn.
"I could not take pinch Of snuff
any more than / could swallow an
! elephant
"Smoke, then. There are some
little cigars sold at the apothecary's
made On purpose for ladies. They
are 30 mild they will not make you
sick and, even if they did, you
wouldn't mind, SO they cure your
husband of smokeing."
at seems to bad to play such a
trick upon him; he is always SO
kind, and permits me to do just as l
please said the tender-hearted Mrs.
Washburn.
"What else could he do?"
at looks kind of mean to me-"
"Not Bit"
81 don't know as it would sue.
ceed."
"Nonsense I know it would. He
would never let You smoke, for these
husbands have an awful horror of
any impropriety in their wives"
"Then he says he has always
smoked, and can't leave off,"
"Pshaw the old story"
81 am almost tempted to try it."
81 would"
cit seems so unkind, though, /
have hardly the heart to do it."
"You are notional, by dear Mrs.
Washburn. When you have been
married." 80
The remark was broken off by the
entrance of the ssabominable wretch"
himself. Mrs. Washburn rose as he