Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-18
How a Woman Bought a Ticket.

Fanny Fern enumerated a lot of
things which she said no woman could
do, but she forgot several items, and
among other things, she forgot to mention
that the woman has never been found vet
who can buy a railroad ticket and get
herself safely on board a train without
raising a general cOmmOtion and both
ering everybody else around the place,
and then she always looks as though she
thought she ought to have present Of
a new silk dress for getting on the car at
all.
There was one of this kind of women
went over to Newark the other day. She
got down on the ferry about five minutes
before the boat started, and Of course She
didn't have any ticket, so she stepped
up to the office TO buy one. First she
asked the clerk what time the next
train left for Newark. " Six O'clock
madam"
& What time is itnow:"
For reply the clerk pointed to the clock
which occupies a conspicuous position
" Oh, yes, | forgot" And then she took
out her watch and found she was just
about minute and three-quarters slow
Of course she didn't alter the watch. she
never intended to, but it was satisfac
ton to know just how it was. By
this time there were two or three
more women and half a dozen men
behind her waiting for a chance to buy
tickets, but bless yOui that woman
paid no more attention to them than she
did to the procession Of the equmoXes
Finally she remembered she wanted a
ticket, so she felt for her pocket-book and
couldn't find it, until she happened to
think that it was in her retiCuie, which
was harnessed to her waist, so she GOT hold
of that, and wriggled and twisted until she
got it in front of her, and managed to find
the DOCket-bOOk. OF course it had money
in every compartment and the money was
all wadded and twisted UP so the book
was ready to burst. First she unrolIed a
lot of large bills and rolled them up bet
ter; then she looked at some ones and
twos, but concluded she wouldn't have a
bill changed, so she rummaged around and
found lot Of postal currency, but it
wouldn't pay to have the clerk make
change for her, so she hunted until she
found a fifteen cent stamp, then she got out
a two cent piece and then chased a three
cent piece all round that pOCket-b0Ok, and
when she captured it she laid down the
twenty cents and looked at the ticketman
as though she expected to hear him thank
her for saving him all the trouble of max
ING change, but he didn't say anything OF
the kind, and didn't even look much as
though he meant to.
Of course, anybody would think, when
she had bought her ticket, this female
might have got out Of the way, but
she was wasn't quite ready yet. She had
to look at the ticket and put it back in
the portmonnaie, and put that III her hav-
ersack, and wrigglc that back where it
belonged and then when she got in the
narrow passage-way leading to the boat,
She had to stop and go through the whole
performance again before she could tear
off the coupon to give to the taker. Just
then she saw woman behind her whom
she knew, and she couldn't wait another
minute to talk over that terrible affair
about poor old Mrs. Smith. Meantime
the fifteen or twenty men behind her were
talking about her. Most of what they
said is in the Prayer Book, but not IN
quite the same order By-and by, how
ever, she remembered she wanted to 60 to
Newark, and the boat was just starting,
so she had to run, and SO did the men;
and then they all came near missing the
boat, and all because that woman couIdn
attend to business in a business like way.
There is moral 10 this story which all
women who travel will dc well to ponder.
" Y. Erpress.