The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-11-07
Whose Pips2
From the Danbrlry News.

~'~''N'
Two families in Slawson have had an
experience somewhat similar to that suf.
fered by Mr.. Cobleigh several weeks
ago. These families live in a double
house, and each had pen with two
pigs. Last Friday the woman in one
part discovered that her two pigs were
free from their pen, and looking after
geological specimens at the foot of the
yard. She also discovered at the same
time that the gate to cabbage yard adj
joining was open, and that the pigs
might at any moment become ravished
by view of the glories within. Her
husband being away, she hurriedly Sc
cured the gate, and then set about to
return the truants by the following in
genious plan. Taking 3 shovel of corn,
she approached as close to the animals
as possible, and, holding the tempting
morsel near enough for them to learn
| its inviting character, she screwed her
face into an expression of winning sweet
ness, and backed slowly toward the pen.
It was beautiful illustration of woman s
faith, and we regret to write that it did
not work. The pigs took one snuff at
the contents of the shovel, just to show
that they took some interest in the mat
ter, and, being convinced thereby that
there was nothing injurious in the ex-
pertinent, fell to roofing about again
with renewed fervor. The noarer the
woman came to the pen the straighter
her face grew, and presently lost every
vestige of solicitude, and assumed in
stead an expression of medium feroci-
ty. What she may have done will new
er be known, as at this iuncture her
husband made his appearance on the
back stoop, and, her eyes resting upon
him, she commenced to apostrophise
him in the language married people
alone are adopts at. After requesting
somebody to show him the idiot who
had let those hogs out, that he might
punch his head, he drove straight at the
truants, and missed them, of course.
Then he drove at them again with a
clothes pole, and missed them again, al
though he made another pole by hit
ting that on a stone. Any one who
has helped to drive one or two pigs will
readily understand the number of arti-
cles that passed through the air, and
the style of conversation the man kept
up during the chase. Finally, he got
one of the animals in corner, and be-
ing by this time utterly regardless of
personal appearances or consequences,
threw himself upon the brute, neatly
scraping the fence with the top of his
head, and falling upon the pig in such
a way as to hold in allegiance every one
of its muscles except those in the throat. |
These were at once put in active opera |
ton, and the man for moment thought |
he had captured planning mill. Then
he raised slowly, keeping tight hold |
of the animal, and getting on his feet,
and the pig in his arms, struck cut for
the pen, preceded by his wife and an
other woman, and closely and anxiously
by all the neighbors for half
mile around. In this way the process
sion laboriously moved, the pig having
worked its head to within two inches of
the mans ear, was pouring therein
tale of unparalleled distress, which if
not calculated to melt the stoutest
heart, actually threatened to split open
the stoutest head. The man was utter
" powerless to remedy the horror, hav-
ing both hands engaged, and could on
" twist his ear little out of range, and
scream at the top of his voice his plans
Tor the future of them hogs" On
the pen, and while i'll the act
of dumping the bowling viper over the
,ide, the woman next door made an un-
fortunate discovery. Their hogs were
n the pen the truants were hers. The
nan, who was still holding the pig, and
night have, with reason, taken promi-
lent part in the debate, contented him
elf by merely expressing hope that
le mil ght be damned, and then trudged
round to the other pen, where ne ar
ived after much unlocked for tribula
ion, and again hoisted the bowling
Monster up to the top, when the woman
ext door made another and still more I
emarkable discovery. Her pigs were
n their pen. Z" What's that?'' scream {
d the man, who was SO fixed that he ]
ould not very we'll see into the pen, '
nd was obliged to lift his voice to
lake himself heard above the din. t
Them amt my pigs" screamed the I
oman. Why amt they?'' he yelled. S
Cause my pigs are here she shrieked t
ack. 1t is needless to add that the G
range animals were urged out of that /
arden without the use of subterfuge. r