The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-07-17

Did you ever enjoy the piiss OK oouf''ns
| If not, get a little gal an try
A doctor was shot lately in lows, and .
local paper had 'strong fears Of ms reo0V'
cry"
sI have a bad habit" as the drunk,
ard said, when he looked at nis sa'sefsu
| garments.
Let him who regrets the loss Of time make
the proper use Of that which is TO come.
Iabors of the body free us from pains Of
the mind. This is what constitutes the
happiness of the poot.
A loyal Ohio girl went several hundred
miles lately to marry lover, who was IN jan
for stealing horses. -
A school boy remarks that when ms
teacher undertakes to " show him wnat n
what" he only finds out which is s'''se@.
Thackery says..that critic is Solomon
that sits in judgement before us, ana cnoP'
up our children.
To carry gunpowder in the pocket-Soak
il we'll in cold water, then wrap it up IN .
cover Of oiled silk
Boxes, it is said, govern the worhItne
cartridge.box the ballot-box, the lufy'po1'
and last, through out least, the bonnes-Do4'
A Young man generally gives loctof nis
hair to his sweetheart before ne marr,es nss'
After marriage she sometimes helps nefSen'
and don't use scissors.
A good way to cure a cold in the nesa 81. ~
to pour vinegar over hot brick nololns
the head over it until it is Thoroughly s's.A4.
I Ied % -feE< =.
a15.y:sjs iuHs.::
ten knots represent stiff breeze, how hssSy
blow does lady receive when she buys
pound of "doublc ZEPHYR
A New Albany, Indiana, judge has deoia-
ed that if a man gets drunk every other week,
and stays drunk q week at time, ne ID not
habitual drunkard.
asay. Pomp, you niger, where you get
that new hat ?" "Why, at de shop, Of
course" "What is de price ofsuch an article
as DAT! Il QOu kuo", nA6SS~
know de shop man wasn't dsr."
Who can know how much Of his most in
ward life is made up Of the thoughts ne 90,
leyes other men to have about him until
that fabric of opinion is threatened witn
ruin p
A country editor has answered the quss-
uyUhot 10 the use of dogs ?" he ssys
wait until man hangs round your once
for four days reading exchanges and prohsnng
good advice and then you'll know what . dog
is good for.
A father, iu consoling his daughter, who
had lost her husband, said; '1don't wonder
you grieve for him, my child. You VIII
never find his equal" 81 don't know as l
can" responded the sobbing widow, "but I'll
do my bestw The father went home Gem
Ono of the smartest detectives in the city
of New York is negro, and it is conceded
that he does more to check crime among
those of his own color, by the reason Of his
intimate knowledge oftheir ways and haunts,
than all the rest of the force.
OF miserable man who died of softening
Of the brain, local paper said: "His head
gave way, but hand: never did; his brain
softened, but his heart couldn't"
aExcuse this bit of sarcasm" said Smith /;
but / must say that you are an infamous
scoundrel :" Pardon this bit Of irony" was
renlied as poker descended on Smiths
head.
A citizen of Waco, Texas, is vouched for
as the father of fifty children. By his first
wife he had thirteen, by his second eighteen,
bv his third ten, by his fourth six, and by
his ffth and surviving wife, three; thirty
five are still alive, eight having been lost in
the Confederate army, and seven having died
natural deaths.
"Gentlemen of the jury" charged
Western Judge, 'in this case the counsel on
both sides are uinintelligible, the witnesses
on both sides are incredible, and plaintiff
and defendant are both such characters, that
TO me it is Indifferent which way you give .
verdict"
| A Hampshire wag put the following ad'
yertisement in weekly paper: "Who
wants te buy new milch cow, that is every
way kind, only, FIVE years old, and gives
fifteen quarts Of milk to q milking~ack
Rogers The next week Mr.. Rogers receiv.
ed no fewer than fifty applications through
the paper for the COW, which were answered
thus: "IfI hear of any such COW, l Will let
YOU know immediately.-Yours truly j.
Rogers"