The Portland daily press., 1873-04-25
THE PRESS
FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL a5. 1878.
Gossip and Gleanings.

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Gossip and Gleanings.
The colored custodian of the Buffalo cem.-
terry has retired on the urnings of8,0 900 funer-
ais.
1t is narrowing to the soul to reflect how
many gorgeous spring dresses are hanging in
dark wardrobes waiting for pleasant day.
Biologists amuse Council Bluffs with the
intelligence that it can find coal by digging
100 feet.
Query: Are the Michiganders any relation
to the Portuguese, and if so, how much, and
what?
A st. Louis man is trying to introduce the
use of babies skulls for billiard balls, but he
has not yet succeeded in making his goods
popular.
Atlanta is calling itself the Athens of the
South because Mrs. Westmoreland and Gen.
Darlington live there. No such people ever
lived in the old Athens.
A Rochester woman married to her second
husband recently said to him, sob, how
happy roor George would be if he were still
alive to see himself replaced by man as
agreeable as you are!
The papers are telling of captive mouse
in Washington that "sings like canary
The same may be said of any mouse, and o.
rats, too, for that matter, as young canaries
do not sing at all. a- rr
An amateur snake-fancier, whose neigh
bors complain of him for keeping beacon
strictors on the roof of his house, defend
himself by saying that he supposes he cal
put any sort of tiles he pleases on his root
aud that he prefers reptiles.
An unintelligent foreigner, who is quit
unable to understand and appreciate Amer
can manners, writes home that when grea
man dies in the United States, the first thin
done is to propose fine statue in his honor
next, to forget to order any statue, and last
to wonder what became Of the money. i
Wise sayings of great men are very interest.
ing reading, and the remark of the Missis.
sippi judge will be handed down among the
sayings of eminent persons. Said he splitting
out quid of tobacco, and taking fresh
one: 81 haven't been Judging great while,
but I think can snatch justice baldhead as
well as any on 'em.
They b ave had a man up in New Haven
police court for stealing an umbrella, forget
full of that common law which holds that
umbrellas are not property, and at last ac-
counts it was even feared that the court
would shut down ON him. A New Haven
paper very properly asks, "Who is safe?'
And we suppose it will be a long time before
the question is answered.
A gentleman in this city, says the St. Louis
Democrat, has invented little machine for
removing the shells from chestnuts and pea
NUS. IL is Indue 10 Ut over Tue hose, tnc
breath passing from the nostrils furnishes the
motive power; the nuts are dropped in the
hopper on top, and the meat or unshelled nut
is dropped into the mouth of the eater below.
It is noiseless in its working, and gentlemen
or ladies who have been debarred from attend
ing Theodore Thomas's concerts, or church,
because they were not allowed to "crunch'
nuts, can now experience new pleasure.
The latest joke at Brigham Young's ex-
pense is perpetrated by Pennsylvania paper,
which says, f'Some chap thought he would
play joke on Brigham Young, so he gained
access to the list of his wives, and added
twenty-seven names thereto-Mary Jane
Young, Josephine Ann Young, Sarah Me-
linda Young, and so forth. The next time
Brigham called the roll, twenty-seven didn't
answer to their names, so he concluded that
they had died since last roll call, and putting
few more inches of Grape on his hat, he
looked as sad as possible, but has not yet de-
tected the joke"
o.,