, 1873-07-27
HUMOR,

A gentleman with good falsctto voice wishoa
to exchange with anybody possessing good
false set O. teeth.
"A Cincinnati nan who is going to get mar
ried noxt month sits around tho boi1or-slopB to
get his ear trained to it.
1t is proposed to call q little island, near the
Isle OF Man, tho Isle of Woman. 80 tho good
carao progresses.
-Thore aro two reasona why people ut wator-
Ing places mover mind their own business. Ono
is that they havo no business, tho other that
they have no mind.
Daniel Webster ia not tho only bright boy
born in New Hampshire. Tho Boston Globe has
heard OF another-~a youth reaiding In Dover.
who refused to talo pill. His crafty mother
thoroupon secretly placed the pill in preserved
pear, aud gave it to him. prosontly sho asked,
"fos, mothor, all but the seod.."
We aro told that . young man In Virginia
shot luis brother dend because tho latter was ao-
customod to getting intoxicated. II all brothors
would act thus promptly in the mattor, It would
indulging IN tho flowing bowl than al tho
temperance lectures that John D. Cough will
deliver in q lifo-timo.-Louiscihe Courier
Journal
chronological Wow of Social Rank" Who
IL that venerable party tho two Miss BottibolB
Egby D5gSy :; Er-pa1enet, Of course; s not 10.
Knight I" :, " ,n,; ,nna,r;onot, think. Bqt why. Of
induces mo to boliove- -er-tnat tho distinction
iB more likely to haye boon inherited than ac-
"A Now dane--Manma Finding the childron
na"soiiy ma What a4s you and 1y pss
ing at?" Aley, ,(readily)-"0h, is now game,
ma. I'm cabinet-maker, and I'm driving q
null into Bsera's head" usush Of fond mamma
to tho roBcue--lust in time.)
novelty in It's way. sho was sick, and couldn't
90 for tho hat, SO ho drove in himself. He told
tho millner to put on dollars worth Of parsley,
80 cents' worth Of string boanB,, 10 cents worth
OF chorrios, q few green currants, d beet or two,
little cabbage, and about three s1icos of t,r-
nips,-or, if it was too carly for turnips, mako
it two now potatoes instead.
--Uaoful Observation-Disclosures (who has boon
eomlnopting on the visit Of tho Shah to Eng
we have from Persia p" Firnt boy" shorbot IL
oachor-Ycs--yos--to be Buro. That la to say
nonsense. Next boy--What is 1t wo get from
rersaa sssona Sssn, hey (aftor pauae- know,
An experienced husband in Lafayotto sont
two switches home to his Wifo from which slle
was to make . selection, but before doing It ho
changed the tags, putting the s25 ono on tho s10
switch, and vice versa. After critical o1amina-
upon that labclod $685. and Hho decided to keep
it notwithstanding hor husbands plaintiyo pro-
tost that he could not afford to pay out moro
than so for such m nrtiolo.
Wives, as ruto, don't care about wearing
tho brooches If you will Tot them wear tho
broochoB.
---Nesdy Anawer--Uncle Now, how did tho
mother Of Moses hide him2" Niece" With a
-Iarmr's Weekly tells two Judalgtio tocu1ar.
itioB. The first III Of Sir Moses Montoforo.
When negotiating Q loan on the Bourso, on
which ho was worry . kocn,n small knot Of cap
iasts al e adns approaohod % sda him. "0h 9no
iF nai Hir will II n
religion forbids mo that" The second Is Of q
German jew, who was eating pork-chop in q
thuntler-Btornl. On hearing an unusually loud
clap, ho laid down his knife md fork, and OBJ
fuss apout lIddlo pid . bork!" bk "''' 0''A 'D'A .
"A man IN Portland married a widow. Bhe had
fashion, which i4 too common among laloa
who have buried man, Of giving him glowing;
accounts Of tho angelic virtues Of tho departed.
Az Il prohibition laW iH In force down In Maine,
no could not drown his sorrows iu liquor, 10 DO
nervod hia soul to q terrible revenge. Ono night
when hiH vito waa sleeping. aoundly, perhaps
dreaming Of tho '' first " victim Of her charms,
ho arose from Ills bod, took Q slodgo-hemmor.
niarchol 10 the graveyard, and B.nashed the
tohlb Of hia oAd rival Into ittlo bits. Now, whom
bis wife says anything about tho virtues Of the
dead man, no repllos,, 1T may DO vi very true,
Thore'H whore In ahead"
The wife Of 4 London attorney lost n fnyorito
poolle-dog, and in hor distroaH invoked tie ail
OF hor huge lord to recover the pot. Ilo know
lon professionally 10 be sont for Lin aud toll. told
him OF Ills loss. ".Woll, Alr. Q. @. (was tho re-
ply I knows your dorg we'll, aud I thinks +
Knows how to got 1t. but it'a worry valuable
dorg-will cost lot Of money" "llow much p
"Woll, G30." "RubbiBh !" but after doal OF
alteration @. G. agreed to givo E25 wllcroon llis
friend" aaia, 'tYou'ro gonelilan," and tho
bargain, waa struck. !" hut Owns tho addenlun)
yer can't hev him for fow days." "Why mott"
@ os Sss only aS sst asG Mouay to Sod sst
for 20 guinoas, and, AZ hos got to be darned foud
Of linn, wo feoB bound to lot him hayo him few
days afora wo take him back agln !; lo muBt hayo
sun.thng for Ais money" The dog camo buck
lad