The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-10-09
FAOETIH.

The child, who cried for an hour, didn't
get it. -
When the Thermometer falls, how often,
on an average, does it break9
The rose blushes-no wonder, considering
the things that are under them.
People born with silver spoons in their
mouths don't always make 3 stir in the world.
A bachelor friend compares shirtbuttoa
to life, because it 20 o6sn hangs by thread.
DR.. johnson is re. orted to have said that
a second marriage Was the triumph Of hope
over experience"
A poet has sent poem, in which hs Il.
ludes to the dew as "the perspiration Of the
MOON"
A tailor has q bill in his window to the
following effect: "Wsntsd, several thin coat
makers" This fine chance for spare tail
ors.
Some people say the rk-hsired grh mar.
ry first. We differ: it's the light hsaded
ones.
A tattlsr may not be very bad psrsss.
but he richly deserves what be gsts-no tsust
and contempt for his meannsss.
he that enjoys reading the Scriptures,
meditation and prayer, never feels l0nsly and
never is alone, for "ths father il With
him"
A provincial actor, who was addicted to
the 'faowing bowl" was pointsdly alluded
to as living specimen Of the mellow DRAM
mer.
A story il told Of . tavern. keeper by the
name Of A. 8. Camp. The painter, In paint.
ing his sign, lett out the stops; so it read,
"Tavern kept by A SCAMP"
IF you want to talk heavy science, ssy
"protoxide Of hydrogen" instead Of loo. Il
sounds loftisr, and not one man in q thons-
and will know what you mean.
The young men Of Chicago are said to b.
classified, according to their skill a vsloci-
pedists, into the "timid toddlsrs," tho "Wary
warblers." the "goitgsetful," and ths
"fancy few"
"Did the defendant approach the plain
tiff seriatim 7" inquired an attorney, in Q
case Of assault and battery, the other day.
"No, sir" was the reply, che went at i'm
with poker"
Alphonse (who has had An attack Of moth
er.in-law) w)-"Parblssu, madame, it Is not 70
troublez at your daughter is me, nowl Il
is because she is not an orphan when she
is married to me-"
The question for discussion at Q recent
meeting of scientists was, "whioh travelled
fastest. heato or cold2" It was decided in favor
OF heat, - many persons present had been
able to catch cold.
At one Of the ragged schools in Ireland .
clergyman asked the question, "What i ho-
linessS" A pupil in dirty, tattersd rags
jumped up and said, "Plazs yer rivsrsnss,
it is to be clean inside.
A merchant who has class in Sunday.
school asked the question, What i solitude
and was visibly disturbed when . miserable
boy answered: "Ths store that don't adver-
tise."
An Irishman referring to the sudden
death Of a relative, was asked if hs lived
high. Well, can't say he did, said Ter
rance, but he died high. Like the banks in
these days, he was suspended,
Far Western papers, 81 q rule, spare
neither age nor sex when . joke ID wanted.
For instance, . Carson City journal says:
"Our county clerk can boast ofs wife with
the biggest feet and the longest nose Of any
female in the Territory"
RATHER SnvHRr.-A rich merchant,
named Hogg, once requested . person to
bring him . load Of corn in . stated time,
which he failed to do, and did not take it
until the next day after that which he had
promised The merchant - might BE- OK
pected, refused it. "Wsll," replied the
WAGNER, "you are the first hog I ever knew
to refue corn"