Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1873-02-14
miscellaneous Stems.

W lile Nltte.
The snow is so deep in Minnesota that the
washerwomen hang their clothes on the tel
egraph wires.
The mysterious name of the monkey
wrench was taken from its inventor, Mr..
Monkey who still lives in New Jersey.
The creditors of an absconding Western
banker found on opening his safe that the
only thing he had laid up there for rainy
day was an umbrella
Mr.. Winslow, who was chilled so badly IN
Saturdays fire. is doing we'll [Lewiston
Me-, Journal What kind of n fire do they
have down in Maine this time oryoar?
One pound of green copperas, costing seven
cents, dissolved in one quart of water and
poured down u water-closet, will effectually
destroy the foulest smells.
bill has been introduced in the New York
Assembly making II man found with pistol,
knife or slung-shot in his possession liable to
from five to ten years imprisonment
Waking up in the middle of one of these
cold nights, and remembering that the front
door isn't locked, is one of the horrors of
keeping house.
1t is estimated that seven hundred persons
have died of small pox in Baltimore Many
persons have quit riding in the street cars
from dread of taking the disease.
r. +. Chaplin, an Albion N. Y. schoolmas-
ter, has expelled two students because their
parents permitted them to stay away from
school TO attend dancing school, There is
small tempest in the Albion teapot.
Election frauds have even invaded the sane
tuary. At recent election of wardens in an
aristocratic Pittsburg church, the elders did
not disdain to use vain repetitons as the hea-
, then repeaters do, for the votes outnumber-
ed the voters by 20.
Danbury youth who could not sing or
, play, wanting to serenade his girl, whistled
for half hour under her window the other
evening, and when he got over the fence
found about seventy-ive dogs waiting to see
what he wanted
1t is said by prominent Republican Jour-
/ nal in California that party issues will have
little influence in the next election in that
State, the contest turning mainly upon the
railroad question. Gov. Booth leads the pop
ular movement against railroad rule.
Mrs. Charles Carpenter, of Auburn, n. Y,
| threw some sweepings into the stove. A
, package of gunpowder proved to have been
mongthe sweepings. Mr.. Carpenters stove
sadly needs repairing, and Mrs. c. is care
+ fully attended by an NJ. ID.
The boys have a new name tor it, When.
u ever one of them wants to know when this
or that gentleman was elected to the United
- States Senate, instead OF putting the ques-
ton in the old fashioned way, he asks
!, what year did Senator So-and-so buy IMP"
! skillful Nimrod of Wheatland Mo-, saw
e, II rabbit run in to a hollow log, and took it
into his head to crawl afterit. When he had
got inside the log began to roll down hill
On arriving at the bottom he was consider
: ably bruised, and didn't catch the rabbit af--
u ter all.
Col. Van Buren, has offered the following
proposition in the New York Constitutional
Commission: Treason against the State
shall consist only in levying war against the
State or in giving aid to the public enemy or
a IN the making Of a false return by an inspec-
) tor or cdnrasSer Of electjOnS.'
: One relic of the abuse of the franking priv
! ilege is an old rusty apple-paring machine,
weighing four or five pounds, upon which
= somebody pasted an envelope bearing the
frank OF Plat of Virginia and sent it flying
d through the mails. 1t started in Alabama
= and got to Chicago before it was arrested as
\ II vagrant fraud.
. Jay Gould's profitable restitution of his
d, stolen property reminds the London Tele-
v graph of Steele's story of the country maiden
whom he met in London in gay and lcostly
" raiment, and who replied to his query as to
, what tho change meant; "I.awk, sir, didn't
. you know that was ruined?n
a short time ago man, entered II smok-
!, ing car on Pennsylvania railroad with a
can of nitro glycerine, and the conductor
made him take it into the baggage car. The
Is tender solictude with which trunks were
= handled on that car for some time brought
= tears TO the eyes of a veteran baggage smash
y er.
y AChinaman was summoned rs witness in
Il New York, the other day, and, to ascertain
It his views on the nature of an oath, the Judge
asked him what would be his punishment if
5 he should swear to lies. II shall never re-
i turn to China, but always remain in New
: York, was the reply, and he was at once
Il sworn.
!. An old woodman was obs served last fall,
e cutting away brush for roads through his
$ wood lots, and being asked what he was do
ing the job for, replied IF we don't get six
e foot of snow in the woods next winter | amt
X no Democrat His neighbors, since the i'm
c mense fall of snow, have concluded that the
u old gentleman belongs to that party.
IS Papas are not romantic it must be confess
10 ed. One of them in DnVpnDOrt In with
+ three manageable daughters, has posted the
following notice over his bell-pull; Wood,
- 80 "A cord; coal, 30 cents bushel; gas dear
~ and bad Parties staying after o'clock will
: please settle quarterly. n, B.-A reduction
,e made after engagements and the full amount
IN added to the marriage portion
y A Kansas man got up private earthquake,
nj the other day, by placing several pounds of
III powder in the stove to clear the SCOT out of
n. pipe, To make it all go out of the pipe, he
shut the stove door, and placing ms feet
II against it, herocaly awaited the result. As
- that was the only house within five miles,
~ the funeral over the fragments was held in
the open air.
Jim Nye, like other blessings, brightens
q" rs he takes his flight. On hearing OF Mr..
y" Patterson's purpose to go before the Poland
" committee again and explain his letter OF
" January A. 1873 to Cakes Ames Jim stroll
wv ed over to the New Hampshire senator's
w desk, slapped him on the back, and uttered
winged words as follows: Patterson, if /
e, wanted to take out patent for id fool,
in I'd send you to hepatem office as my model.
II Men often declare they would never have