The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-09-19


The Board then adjourned to meet
November 18th, 1873. 5azs sae as
4 ~ WIN. BURGoYNE, Secretary.
- 10 ~ ----s-.S----= ---s e.
oiz0s = LIVELY.idT SIC tle
Hashuquaa is the name of a town
In Noxwbee county, Mississippi.
| The man who wrote, SIN sad
4 dest when / sing" was foolish if
he sang much.
L. The Minneapolis Times asks:
sffShal the city be holocausted for
the want of steams and reser-
Ivoirss We don't know. eA =
b. They call Mrs. Wray, Oh Geor4
gia, unfeeling because she ehewed
ltgum while her husband was being
laid in the silent tomb. .5 .g 49,
DR.. o. G. DeWoIf isoa Chicago
physician. The sudden and uneX-
4 pected announcement of his name
might startle nervous patient.
A California paper discharged
its local editor because he was so
much occupied in trying to throw
four skies against some bar-keep-
er's tray full.
Scandals over Illinois divorce
laws continue. Depriving . wife
of either or both of her ears has
new been adjudged q sufficient
ground for divorce there.
The Maysville, KY, Bulletin an
nounces a Sunday-school picnic,
and ''truly hopes that for once our
citizens will leave their revolvers
and bowie knives at home"
An old lady from the country,
with six unmarried daughters,
went into Augusta, Ga, the other
day, looking for the Patrons of
HusbandTy. She meant business.
A Texas town was recently Wis
tied by a clergyman for the first
time in its history, and the hos
pitable inhabitants proposed get
ting up a horse-race for his enter
tainment. a $3.50 81
'sIf you don't want the SCOT
don't go up the chimney" was the
reply of an editor to respectable"
parties who requested him not to
mention that they had been ar
raigned in the police court.
A lady in rapid pursuit of health
at Saratoga, boasted to her physi-
clan, whom she met as she was
leaving the spring, s'I have just
drank five glasses of Congress"
s'Then don't let me detain you,"
was the quiet reply.
The University Press, at Madi-
son, Wis, in publishing the course
of study at the State University,
printed "comic lectures" in the list
of studies for the first term of the
Sophomore year, where the pro-
fessor had written "comic sec
tons"
'FYes, take her, and welcome"
responded an Illinois farmer, when
a young man asked him for his
blushing daughter. "She's run
away with a school-master, eloped
with Snowman, shot a wildcat
and whipped her mother, and the
sooner you take her the better. "
A Brooklyn girl has applied to
Wise for passage in his balloon,
and the professor declares himself
willing to take her if she will take
a parasol and wear n full hoop
skirt, so that she may be safely
dropped out if it becomes necessa-
ry to communicate with the land
anywhere between her and Eu-
rope.
Caleb Gushing says he believes
his late affair about the yellow
dog gave him greater notoriety
than any other act of his life. He
is constantly receiving newspapers
containing editorial comments on
the suit, and people point him out
in the streets as F'the man who put
an injunction IN that dog"
The personal mention" with
which Omaha papers take pleasure
in honoring their friends is illus
trated by the following choice
morsel of recent date: CIV. NJ.
Madden, commonly known as
Fatty, the great American traveller,
arrived in this city recently, and
sampled forty kegs of beer, besides
attending the circus and eating
eight straight meals at the Wyom-
ing"
| This is a specimen of the pleas
ant personal paragraphs which
Western newspapers are printing
about the salary grabbers. The
Western Mo. Commercial says:
"Comingo, our Comingo, OF salary
tgrab notoriety, has gone to Colo
RADIO with his family to spend a
few weeks and a portion of his
back pay. May every anticipated
! pleasure resolve itself into a ghost
of his heinous crime, and haunt
him till he disgorges his iI-gotten
salary, and resigns his seat for an
memorable ma"
The Louisville Courier -Journa
answers a contributor as follows
? "Your communication, 'JunIus
; Junior is declined. It is quite
too full of quotation marks and
Italics. You should not homo
with quotation marks every stale
lhackneyed sentence you choose tt
borrow, And you may often writ,
for half a day without finding us
: for a single Itdlic letter. Civ,
iyour reader credits for some intelli
d gence-for at least enough to know
e when word needs to be empha
o sized without having the fac
!, thrust down his throat by a tips
e squad of reeling Italics"
In Sullivan county, n. Y, Their
= is published the Liberty Register
and of those who enrich its sdver
q Using columns il one Dusenbury
e His notice thus begins: sit is ad
Il mitted that we not only love on
:. wives, but also cur children, broth
= ers and sisters. They die. w
want q suitable coffin or casket 70
g the jewel, ana tender and careful
hand to take it mp and bear it :
+ its last resting place. Who Wi
n do it for us?" Dusenbury IN
(. swers this by saying he viii, an
J. he further remarks: "A goo
e heaase and peerless team Of horse
" In waiting, at all times, TO receiy
or deliver corpse at the railroa
ID station, or to go elsewhere as Is