Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1873-01-31

were expected to be In their cells just be-
fore dusk the hens, lighting on their
roosts, were then to close the gates Of the
hive and keep them shut all night. The
early rising of the fowls would sutomati-
cally open the gates again, and return the
bees-their honey all safe--to the airs OF
heaven and the flowers of earth. He re-
ceived his patent.
Another applicant ask ed for patent
right for an artificial moon, that should
ght each town that used II without ex-
pense. His eye had often been struck by
the reflection of distant windows at sunset,
and how far the light travelled. He there
fore proposed balloon for each town, suf-
ficieutly large to raise huge reflector that
was to be hoisted every evening at dusk
| (about the time the hens had shut in the
bees. The reflection of the suns rays,
cast downward upon the village, was sure
| to light 1t through all the darkness of night
Fortunately for himself, this inventor pre-
scented his application through a patent at
torney, who told him II was doubtful II 1t
could be obtained.
In the fall of 1871, gentleman. probably
from California, applied for and received
patent for building houses on wheels or
rollers, so that, in case of earthquakes, they
might roll forward or backward but not he
shaken to pieces.
Only three years have passed away since
n very ingenious gentleman from the rural
districts applied for patent TO prevent
cows from switching their tails He pre-
scented two models-one shaped like bot
tie, around the neck of which the cows
tail was to be curled; the other consisted
If a square block, with a hole through the
center, wherein the tail was to be put, and
then tied in a knot, so that the animal
could not withdraw it. On the presenta-
ton of the application, the offic ial examin-
er thought it could not be granted, because
of similar device in "Don Quixote,"
where Sancho Panza, trying to sleep in the
hay loft, was kept awake by the braying OF
his donkey below. His wakefulness gave
Sancho time to reflect, that. when riding
the donkey, the animal always sw itched his
tail when he prayed. Descending hastily
from the hay-loft, the squire tied block
to the donkey's tail to prevent him from
braying. But as this device originated
with Spaniard, and had never been re-
peated in this country, the office decided
to grant the patent. Our readers will, there
fore remember that they cannot tie cows
tail to prevent its switching without pay
ment of royalty to the owner of this privi-
lege.
Another gentleman applied for a patent
for heating canals by steam, SO that boat
ing could go on in winter as well as in
summer. The office decided that this in
vention was worthy of protection, and gave
him his patent.
Another applied for a combination Of
, clock and bed so ingeniously contrived
, that, when the clock struck, the bottom o.
the bed dropped out. He claimed that thi,
, plan would probably awaken the sleep
r ers.
, Speaking of combinations, he must have
come from Missouri or Kansas, who ask &C
for a patent for combination of cannon
, and plough. For this purpose he filed
three applications, making the elongated
handles of the plough hollow, so rs to form
, two cannon. These were to be kept load
{ ed till the guerrillas were after him thu
cannon were then to be fired, the guerril
, las shot down, and the farmer to go on hi
= plouehing way rejoicing.
= And he, too, must have come from tn
! borders who asked for patent of com
, bination of trunk and house. The trunl
o was made with triple sides, moving up ant
a down. Doing duty all day in guarding
r clothes, when night came on, and no eabil
!. near, the goods were to be taken out, tn
triple walls elevated into one, and the be
: nighted traveller safely housed.
@ Another asked for patent for the inven
= ton of the generation of steam by boring
e hole in the ground til he reached the wa
y ters that are boiled by the internal fires G
9 earth. He set forth, among the advantage
v of his plan, that there would be no DANCE
i of explosions, no expense for fuel, no ne
p cessity ofengineers-all of which statement
o are undou btedly true.
v 1t must have been a relative OF this las
J. gentleman, an one equally acquainte
with the laws that govern the hidden hear
of this planet, who applied for patent 70
boring the earth for artesian wells for pur
poses of irrigation. He gravely set fort
" that he had made the discovery that quick
d silver was heavier than common earth. II
d therefore proposed 10 start hole, an
d empty into it little mercury. BY tn
NJ laws of Nature, that mercury would be sur
to work its way downward till 1t struc
water, and the water would be sure to wor
.s its way upward till it struck air.
,s Should it be said that such patents g
N this last, as that fer the prevention of cow
~ switching their tails, for artificial mooni
for ploughs doing the work of cannon, etc
must be jokes, we can only reply this
shrewd Yankees are not wont to pay q
- even for practical jokes, and that none {
:, these designs have eliminated into patent
q. under less than that sum, aud, when Al
es torneys were employed. under double an
q, quadruple that SUNNY. r. Hooper 1
., | ADDletOns' Journal,