Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1873-11-06
Courtesy at Home.

Something is wrong in those families
says the Bazaar, where the little courtesles
Of speech are ignored in the everyday
home life. True politeness cannot be
learned, like lesson, by one effort, any
time in ones life; it must be inbred
"Well meaning, but rough" is said OF
many man and too often the beginning
of the difficulty lies with the parents in a
family. Is it hard for the husband to give
smiling "Thank you" to his wife as she
brings his slippers on his evening return
home? Is it more difficult for the mother
to say, "John, will you shut the door,
please?" than to use the laconic phrase
"Shut the doorv When Tom knocks
over his sisters baby house, why should
not Excuse me, didn't mean to-" be the
instructive apology?
Many who would not be guilty of dis
courtesy to stranger, or to friend in the
world without, lay aside much if not all
their suavity Of manner on entering the
home circle The husband and wife dis
pense with those little graceful attentions
which, though small, are never unimpor-
tant The children are ordered hither,
and thither with crusty words; no ''Thank
you" rewards the little tireless feet that
run on countless errands. The dinner is
eaten in silence, broken only by faultfind-
ing and reproof from the parents, and ILL
humor and teasing among the children.
In the evening the father devotes himself
to his newspaper, and the mother to her
sewing, interrupting themselves only to
give such peremptOry orders as "Less
noise, children" "Stop 4uarreling;" and,
finally, "Go to bed"
In many families there is no positive
rudeness among the members, only lack
of those simple affectiOnate attentions
which awaken spontaneous return; a
want of that consideration and gentleness
of demeanor which are wellsprings of
comfort in every household. The weIl-bred
host does not fail to bid his guest "GoOd-
night" and "Good-Eorning;" why should
not this simple expression of good feeling
be always exchanged between parents and
children! The kindly morning greeting
will often nip in the bud some rising fret.
fulness; and the pleasant "Good by" from
old and young, when leaving the house
for office, shop, or school, is fragrant
memory through the day of separation.
When the family gather alone around
breakfast or dinner table, the same cour-
tesy should prevail as if guests were pres
ent. Reproof, complaint, unpleasant dis
cussion, and scandal, no less than moody
silence, should be banished. Let the con-
versation be genial, and suited to the little
folks as far as possible Interesting Incl
dents of the days experience may be men,
toned at the evening meal, thus arousing
the social element. If resources fail,
sometimes little bits read aloud from the
morning or evening paper, will kindle the
conversation.
No pleasanter sight is there than a
family of young folks who are quick to
perform little acts of attention toward
their elders. The placing of the big arm
chair in warm place for mamma, run
ming for footstool for aunty, hunting
up papa's spectacles, and scores of little
deeds show unsurpassed and loving
hearts. But If mamma never returns a
smiling Thank you, DEAR" if papa's
Just what / was wanting, SUSIE" does
not indicate that the little attention is ap-
preciated, the children soon drop the
habit. Little people are initiative crea-
lures, and quickly catch the spirit sur
rounding them. So, if when the mothers
spool of cotton rolls from her lap, the
father stoops to pick it up, bright eyes
will see the act, and quick minds make a
note of it. BY example, a thousand times
more quickly than by precept, can chill.
dren be taught to speak kindly to each
other, to acknowledge favors, to be gentle
and unselfish, to be thoughtful and con.
siderate of the comfort of the family
The boys, with inward pride in their
fathers courteous demeanor, will be chi
valrous and helpful to their young sisters
the girls, initiating the mother, will be
gentle and patient, even when big broth.
ers are noisy and needless.
Scolding is never allowable; reprooi
and criticism from parents must have
their time and place, but should never in.
trude 80 far upon the social life of the
family as to render the home uncomforta.
bic. A serious word in private will gen.
orally cure fault more easily than many
public criticisms. In some families a
spirit Of contradiction and discussion
mars the harmony; every statement, is.
as 1t were, dissected, and the absolute
correctness Of every word calculated. II
interferes seriously with social freedom
when unimportsnt inaccuracies are
watched for, and exposed for the mere
sake of exposure. Brothers and sisters
also sometimes acquire an almost uncon.
scious habit of teasing each other, half in
earnest, half in fun This is particularly
uncomfortable for everybody else, what.
ever doubtful pleasure the parties them
selves may experience.
In the home where true courtesy pre.
walls 1t seems to meet you on the very
threshold. You feel the kindly welcome
on entering. No rude eyes scan your
dress. No angry voices are heard up
stairs. No sullen children are sent from
the room. No peremptory orders are
given to cover the delinquencies of house.
keepers or servants. A delightful atmos.
phere pervsdes the house-1nmistakabIe
yet indescribable.