Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1873-02-13
written for The HERALD
Parental NIismanag ement.


Parental Mismanage ment
Some parents are endowed, by nature,
with special ability to control children,
and others seem almost entirely to lack
this gift. The first class even may profit
by the suggestions of the more expert
enced and wise, and the second class
who must also bear parental response
bility need all the more special instruc-
ton and training for this important Of
fee
The fact that INSTRUMENTATION is an
alarming characteristic of our age and
country, will not be denied. 1t is seen
in the irreverent and unruly spirit of
children in the family and in the school !;
in their rude, boisterous and profane
conduct in the streets, in their truancy
and crime, which have filled our reform
schools and houses of correction; in the
frequent rebellions in academies and
colleges throughout the land; and,
more than all, in the "great rebellion"
which wasted our treasures and deluged
the country in fraternal blood
That all these consequences have re-
suited directly from parental inefficiency
and mismanagement,n no candid observer
can doubt. Some, through their own
incapacity or perverseness, have lost the
altar. Their example and influence are
wholly unfavorable to wholesome family
discipline. They had been united by
divine authority, and entrusted with the
holy mission of moulding the character
of tender childhood, but they have be-
come divorced in spirit if not in fact.
The family which should be the very
paradise of harmony and earthly bliss,
has become a scene of perpetual strife
and turmoil. And who can estimate
how large a proportion of the lawless-
ness, vice and crime that curse Ameri-
can society, results directly from this
cause? If we would save and elevate
our country, we must strive to harmon
izc, purify and enlighten the homes
where our future citizens must be
trained.
Other parents do not attempt to GOV
ern their children, except in cases of abb
solute physical danger. They profess
to believe that reprOOf and punishments
result only in mOrOSenesS of disposition
and perverseuess of manners. Such in
Propositions disturb the quiet and har-
mony of the family, and hence, they
yield to every wish and crafty every
known desire of their children. to avoid
the fancicd evil But such family de-
mOcraCy soon Is o'ves itself INTO a fear
ful aristOcra2y. Il which the children
are the rulers their parents are the
obedient and much abused subjects,
How wise, Gin their own estimation, }
arrogant, dictatOrial and ill-mannered
such children become, we have frequent
opportunity to see. And it could not
he otherwise under this perverted order
of things. The diyinely appointed SOW
ereigns of the home have been deposcd,
and are in subsection. The natural sub
iects have never learned obedience to
authority, Hence, the sad consequences
follow, nj home, in school and in so
ciety
Still Other parents attempt to govern,
hut fail. Some in one way, some in an
other.
The first class which l will here speci-
fY are tickle. They lack tirmness which
is an essential element in family disci-
pline. Their convictions are all right,
and their views of government, in the
main, correct; but they seem to have
no power to resist the child's impOrtu-
nifty. He Graves some improper gratit-
cation, and demands indulgence. The
mother promptly but kindly refuses, as
she should. The child persists, because
he has learned by experience, that she
does not really mean M, when she says
it. Why did she not teach her darling
that important lesson, in the beginning,
and thus save herself all this trouble
and annoyance? But she did not, and
hence. the child undertakes to reverse
her decision, and with the full assurance
that he can accomplish his object. II
may cost a holy hours teasing, or a
flood of tears" or violent fit of pas
sion. or a spasmodic display of affec-
ton, as the case may be, but the worn
and weary mother viii surely yield
The contest is only a matter of time;
the result is not doubtful: And what
is the influence of this tickleness upon
the temper and life of the child? Does
he love his mother more tenderly? Is
he more amiable, gentle, obedient and
faithful, afterwards No; he will be
even more irritable and selfish, more de-
handing and determined in his efforts to
secure the object in view. Develop the
selfish prOpensities of child's nature,
and his filial love will be diminished in
the same proportion. The former Is
allowed to overgrow and cover up the
latter That mother is the most ear
nestly loved by her children who gov
erns them with .frna and impartial
hand whose decision always settles the
question, without controversy, and
whose promises are sure of fultilment.
The second class of parents above allu-
ded to, are jnlpu5SjUe and .ftfuL. They
act towards their children as they feel
at the time In their genial mood, they
see DO faults in them; will allow no
punishments to be inflicted upon them,
at home or IN school, but grant them
unbounded indulgence. And yet, when
the fit Of passion comes on, they assall
and chastise them, in the most unmercl-
full manner Finally. pushing, cutting,
flogging, humping and shutting up in
the dark, are among the periodical pen
alties inflicted. These unfortunate chill
dren soon learn to enjoy the sunshine,
and endure the storm, but the influence
of such impulsiveness upon the temper,
habits and life, is fearful. They have
no confidence in tie management of
their parents, and they cherish for them
but limited amount of affection They
grow up ill-tempered, fretful and disc
bedient, wholly untitled for the duties
and responsibilities of mature life.
PARENS.