The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1873-07-24

Led o'er the shady road beneath the pines,
Across the village green,
Where the old farm house window redly shires,
The maple boughs between.
REMINISC ENCES OF SOUTHERN
PULPIT ELoQUENcE.
BY II. H. B.
EDS. HERALD.-The following
from The Independent of June 12
1873, should be widely circulated
because Of its mirthfulness. L
afforded me a good laugh, and
thought it would be good for tn,
readers of the HERALD during har
vest time. w. A. 81.
In the autumn of 1880 attended a
Methodist camp.meeting ia the in,
terror Of Georgia, and heard sermon
which have never been able to forget
or describe. At the earnest solicita-
ton of friends, / have attempted
several times to write it, but it can.
not be put on paper. The main force
Of it was in the snuffiing and splitting
and groaning and hound after. a fox
sort of yelp and whim, to which no
pen can do justice. 1t must be
intoned to be appreciated. l have
preached it thousand times for the
amusement of friends, and have been
satisfied with my effort. | have used
it as a remedial agent in exercising
the demons of hypochondria, and
have never failed "to send them
down a steep place in the sea-" or
somewhere else, to the great reliet of
the sufferer.
The speaker had just been licensed
and it was his first sermon. In per
son he was small bullet headed, of Z
fair, sandy complexion, and his
countenance was indicative of SINGER
ity and honesty.
His remarks evinced great rever,
ence for the works of God as mani
tested in zoology and natural history
and was taking up the Bible in
regular order for the first time in his
life.' He had gotten as far as he
history of Noah, the Ark, the Flood,
etc. Besides, .just before his con,
versation he had been reading Gold.
smiths Animated Mater and the
two together, by the aid and assis
ance of the Spirit, had led him into
a powerful train of thinking as he
stood at his workbench day in and
day out"
But whatever his sermon may
have been, it was his own. The tex,
was Gas it was in the days of Noah,
SO shall the coming of the Son of M an
be-" After commenting upon that
portion of Genesis descriptive of the
Flood, he "warmed up" suddenly,
and broke out in the following
strains:
eyes, my bretheren, the heavens
Of the windows was opened .ah, and
the floods of the gre deep kiver
ed the waters ah, and there was
Shem, and there Ham, and there
Japheth- -ah, all a gwine into the
Ark. alb.
"And there was the elephant. ah
that gre at animal-ah of which
Goldsmith describes in his 'Animated
Nater'ah wi at is as big as house.
ah, and his bones as big as tree. ah
depending somewhat on the size o.
the tree-ah all a.gwine into the Ark
ah. And the heavens of the windows
was opened ah. and the floods of the
great deep kivered the waters ah
and there was Sham, and there wa:
Shem, and there was lam, and
there was Japheth-ah, all a.gwine
into the Ark ah.
"And there was the hippopopta
mus ah, that great animal -ah, o.
which Goldsmith describs in hi.
Animated Nater'-ah what has a
great horn an a-stickin' right sraigh'
up out of his foreward ah six fee
long, more or less-ah, depending
somewhat on the length of it ah, all
a-gwine into the Ark ah.
and there was the giraffe ah, my
Dretherin, that i'll contrived reptile o
which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Nater'-ah, whose forelegs
is twenty five feet long ah, more o.
less depending somewhat on tn,
length of 'em ah, and a neck 30 long
he can eat hay off the top of barn
all agwine 4 into the Ark. k.ah. AnC
the heavens of the windows wa.
opened ah, and the floods of the grea
deep kivered the waters all anc
there was Ham, and there was Shem
and the was Japheth ah, al
a-gwine into the Ark, ah.
Sand there was the zebra, m,
bretheren ah, that beautiful animal O
which Goldsmith describes in hi
Animated Nater'.ah what has thre,
hundred strips a-runnin' righ
straight round his body, more or less
depending somewhat on the numbe
of stripes.ah, and nary two stripes
alike -ah, all a-gwine into the Ark ah
"And there was the anacorder. ah
that great sarpint of which Gold
smith describes in his 'Animatet
Mater -ah, what can swallow 81,
oxens at a meal-ah, provided hi
appitite don't call for less ah, al
a.gwine into the Ark ab. And tn,
heavens of the windows was opened
and the floods of the great dee,
kivered the waters-ah, and there wa
Shem, and there was Ham, and ther
was Japheth-ah, all a.gwine into tn
Ark. ah.
"And there was the lion, m
brethren ah, what is the king O
beasts, according to Scripture ah
and who, as st Paul says-ah, prowl
around of a night like roarin devil
ah, a. .seekin' if he can't catch some
body-ah, all a-gwine into the Ark
ah.
"And there was the antelope ali
brethren, that frisky little critter-ah
of which Goldsmith describes in hi
Animated er'ah, what can jun
seventy-feet straight up.ah, and twic
that distance down.ah, provided hi
legs well take him that far ali, al
a-gwine inter the Ark.ah. And tn
heavens of the windows was opened
and the floods of the great deep xiv
cred the waters-ah, and there wa
Shem and there was Ham, and ther
was Japheth.ah, all a.gwine inte
the Ark. ah."
Just at this point he stopped speal
ing few moments, wiped his fore
| Lo.J tu.noJ hooI, -. i.