The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1873-07-24
A MAN VISITS THE EDITOR TO FIND
"WHO PRINTED THAT PIECE"

One eye was covered with hand
kerchief, and one arm was in slim g
His bearing was that of man with
settled purpose IN view.
sit was to see," said he "the 10 al
that puts things into this paper.
We intimated that several of III
earned frugal livelihood in tina
way.
"Well, | want to see the man which
cribs things out of the other papers
the fellow who writes mostly with
shears, you understand"
We explained to him that there
were seasons when the gifted among
US, driven to frenzy by the scarcity
of ideas and events, and by the
clamorous demands of an insatisfia
Dle public, in moments of emotional
insanity plunged the glittering sh ears
into our exchanges. He went on
calmly, but in a voice of tremulous
with suppressed feeling. and lndis
tinct through the recent loss of hall
dozen or 80 of his front teeth:
"Just so: / presume 80. don't
know much about this business, bu,
| want to see man, the man that
printed that little piece about pouring
water down drunken mans spine
of his back and making him instantly
sober. If you please l want to see
that man. would like to talk with
him."
Then he leaned his stick against
our desk, and spit on his serviceable
hand, and resumed his hold On the
stick, as though he was weighing it
After studying the stick minute
he added in a somewhat louder
tone:
"Master, / came here to see that
ERE man. l want to see him bad"
We told him that particul ar man
was not in.
"Just SO. I presume so. They
told me before | came tn 1t the IN ar
/ wanted to see wouldn't be any.
where. I'll wait for him / live up
North, and Pve walked seven miles
to converse with that man. | guess
I'll sit down and wait.
He sat down near the door and
refiectively pounded the floor witt,
his stick, but his feelings would not
allow him TO be still.
81 suppose none of you lldn',
never pour much cold wafer down
any drunken mans back to make
him Instantly sober, perhaps"
None of us in the office had ever
tried the experiment.
"Just SO. | though just az likely
as not you had not Well master, |
have. tried yesterday, and | have
come seven miles on f'nt /, >c,. thai,
man that printed thai i,cr. 1t
wasn't mu III uf u piece, dent think;
but | want to see the man that prlnr.
t.1 it, just "a few minutes You see
John Smith lives next deer to my
house, when Pm to home. and he gets
how come. you so every little period.
Now, when he's sober, he's all right,
if you keep out of his way; but when
he's drunk, he goes home and breaks
dishes, and tips over the stove, ana
throws the hardware around, and
makes it inconvenient for his wife,
and somtimes he gets his gun and
goes out calling on his neighbors,
and it amt pleasant.
"Not that | want to say anything
about Smith but Inc and my wife
don't think he ought to do SO. He
came home drunk yesterday and
broke all the kitchen windows out of
his house, and followed his wife
around with the carving knife. talk
ing about her liver, and after while
he lay down by my fence and went
to sleep. / had been reading that
little piece; it wasn't much Of
piece, and thought if l could pour
some cold water down his spine on
his back, and make him sober, it
would be more comfortable for his
wife, and square thing all round.
So poured bucket of cold water
down John Smiths spine of his
back"
SWELL" said we, as our visitor
paused. "Did it make him sober ?''
Our visitor took firmer hold of his
stick, and replied with increased
emotion
"Just 80, / suppose it did make
him sober as a judge in less time
than you could say Jack Robson :;
but, mister, it made him mad. 1t
make him the maddest man l ever
saw. And John Smith is a bigger
man than me, and stouter. Blast him,
I never knew he was half so stout
till yesterday, and he's handy with
fists, too, ! should think he was the
handiest man with his fists | ever
saw"
"Then he went for you, did he ?"
we asked innocently.
"Just 80. Exactly. l suppose he
went for me about the best he knew,
but don't hold no grudge against
John Smith. suppose he amt
good man TO have grudge against.
| want TO see the man that printed
hat piece. want to see him bad. |
feel as though it would sooth me to
zee that man. / want to show him
now drunken man acts when you
pour water down the spine of his
,ask. That's what came for"
Our visitor who had poured water
Town the spine of the erunken mans
rack, remained until 9p. m, and
hen went up street to- find the man
hat printed that piece. The man
le is looking for started for Alaska
aaf avaninp. for n aummar VACATION