Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-12-19
Tur o1TrsrIoNs THEY AsK.-The weak

THE QUESTIONS THEY ASK. --Tho weak
est woman in the world can break down her
husbands authority by unexpected and
unanswerable questions. Many man
thinks he has the partner of his bosom dead
cornered in an argument when she comes
at him with ssWho ever heard OF such
thing ?n Now Of course Ferguson can't
get his witnesses together to answer it. Ii
he was put on his oath he can't say that
Tompkins ever heard of it, of Smith, OF
any of the men he meets in his daily walk
ever heard of it; in fact he can't recollect
any particular person that ever did hear OF
it, and he mildly says in general way,
ssWhy my dear everybody has heard OF 1t. 7
But that doesn't answer the shrill little
ssWell-j-ae-s-t tell me one" And there
stands man, six feet two, stricken to the
earth by little woman who doesn't reach
up to his shoulders, while his mind is feebly
wandering among his acquaintance Who
might possibly have heard of such thing
at some time or other. s.,..,.,
There is another question that is USED
to much advantage in quelling married
men. 1t is generally given in reply to some
innocent suggestion as to an improvement
in household affairs, and is delivered with
well separated "Ale you c-r-a-s-y ?''-
Nothing can exceed the undiluted vicious
ness of this. The idea that man can't
suggest that perhaps the parlor windows
would look better washed, without having
it suggested that his mind is impaired.
throws him offlhisl feet, and when he has
had din about the number OF times Mrs,
Tompkins has her windows washed, and
how often Mrs. Jones has her windows
washed, and how often Ma washes her
windows, and hears it all end with sharp
clap of ''you mast be crazy he begins to
realize the terrible probability that he is a
victim, of emotional insanity.
:, There is one question with which they
are always lying in wait for those unhappy
men, who labor under the conviction that
by dint of strong endurance they can bear
being out Of sight of their wives a few
evenings in the week. There may be long
er prayers offered, but there can be none
more fervent than those that go out from
the breast of a helpless married man, when
he fingers for the snightElatch after an
evening out with 'sthe boys.' While he is
unconsciously smiling at the last joke Jack
told, and trying to pull off both boots at
time, as the best ofmen will do some times,
a judicial voice from the pillow asks Chow
many wives do you think would bear thas
treatment % Of course, not having
census about him, he can't give anything
like correct answer but the smile is gone
The boots are jerked off by a violent hand,
and white night gown says: GLOW many
I say would bear it ?'' AS if any man
without slate and pencil could figure out
such eouundrum as that. Of course he
don't know. He hasn't been talking to-
other mems wives and he don't know how
the poll stands. So he gives 1t up without
guess, and creeps silently to bed, an hum
bled man.
The only consolation about the final
reckoning is that that day they won't be
allowed to ask any questions, and they'll
be very sorry for some they have asked de-
fenceless and unoffending men.