Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1873-01-21
II U n 0 Ri US
How Much the Hog Weighed.

bluff lookin. man, in farmers work
day Costume. entered railway car at a way
station. fhe car Was we'll filed all the seats
being occupied but one which was half filled
by finely dressed exquisite. The farmer
Seeing his only chance for q seat, asked the
exquiate If t'other half of that seat was took.
Receiving negative answer, he responded
Wall then L reckon I'll squat
Like most OF our hardy yeomanry, no was
incl ined to be soclabie
Snug winter morning" said he
No response.
''Shoudn't wonder if we had some more
Eenow afJre night"
Still no response from exquisite, who looked
out of the car window evidently much an-
noyed.
After several futile attempts to elicit some
reply, the farmer gave n yawn, and quietly re-
marked, t.lzitlet hog yesterday, bet YOU
can't guess how much he weighed"
Driven almost to desperation, the poor fell
low said tartly:
-Four hundred pounds"
YsHning again.
enc didn't way that
''Well, three hundred and fifty them
Another yawn-"No, didn't weigh three
and half
Very Observation-Disclosures hundred"
Iawning still-"No, not that much"
Almost ready to explode How much did
your hog weigh anyhow "
''"asi. he want much Of hog and T
didn't weigh him"
Il ToUcnING SroRY-St Stephenson. a
country store-keeper, one day trying to
sell Joe pair OF pegged boots The old
mau gave the article offered a fair examina-
ton, and decided net to purchase
Mice boots, said Stephenson
Every nice bOots," said Joe, but can't
afford EN-"
Why, they are as cheap as any that they
can make, said Stephenson, ''only TWO doll
lars"
eyes, only Z don't keep my hired man."
returned joe
Hired man? What do you want of
hired man Z" asked Stephenson.
Neii, | should want hired man if I
bought them boots, said Joe, his eye twisted
up with even more cUlnica leer then usual
1.-The last pair OF boots | had of YOU pretty
much ruined me-
Glow was that % asked Stephenson.
"N hy, said Joe, Gail the time I wore them
boots had to take two men along with me.
with hammers, GU each side to nail on
the soles every time lifted my feet"
The store keeper made no more effort to sell
boots TO Joe.
FEMALE RESOURCES sisters Sal
aud Nance resources. pap"
No, my son. Why do you ask that cues
tion ?'
'Because heard uncle John say if you
would only husband your resources, you could
get along good deal better than YOU do
And [ thought it would be good idea. be-
cause yon wouldn't have so many Young men
mere Tor Supper every Sunday evening-that's
all, pa"'
CoLoRED THEoLUGY.-'.Say, Mr.. Johns
son, Is dar any place iu de Bible whar culled
pusson is men,ioucd2'
well, dar is; an ifyon'd been to raee,in'
Soundsy you'd heerd de preacher read how
S1gser Delnus wanted to be born again"
Nv h>wh-w wi hat he want to be born arin ft,r?"
Il dunno; spec he thought he might be
oorn a white uIan next time. An dar's good
many niggers nlibe now like dat old Demus.
but dey'il alters be niggers, anyhow"
A celebrated physician was called upop
recently by person suffering from rheuma-
tisn, who insisted upon his doing somethiup
for him. The physician wrote prescription
and, as the patient went out of the room he
said to him
Il wish you world let me know if that does
you auy good, for have myself been very
much troubled with rheumatism lately'
There is au undertaken in New York
whose sign bears the inscription every
requisite for fdneral.' a sailor went in and
said he would take a corpse.
- corpse. haven't any,"
''then take down your sign" said Jack.
81 don't know anything more requisite for
a funeral than corpse"
"A secret organization of young ladies' is
SAID to have been formed in Western town
under the title of the League for tho Suns
preston of Male Fiirts," aud much curiosity
IS felt by the masculine portion of the COM
munity to find out how many Of their female
friends belong to it.
The inhabitants of Rhode Island are
wasting time in going up by small detach>
ments in balloon, when, if they'd Just pass
the blade of penknife under tho State, thew
might all go up together.
- Aristotle, on being censured for hestow-
ing aims on a bad man, made the following
noble reply IL did not give it to the man
1 gave it to humanity"
- countryman went into dining room
ana being presented with a bill of fare said
No. he never cared about reading till after
he'd had his dinner"
IL Is an established fact among railroad
men that new road is good for at least fftv
e'opement4 IN the country through which it
runs the first year.
-, ohah lights" seem to comprise !