The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-02-28
MR.. DUFFY,.s TALENIINE.
BY MAX ADELER.

Jim Duffy loved. He was not singular
in this-other Duffys had done the same
thing but it was Jim Duffy 5 peculiar for
tune that while he loved but one woman
two women loved him. Miss Smith was
tho beautiful blue eyed being to whom he
had given his heArt, and to whom he would
cheerfully have given his liver or his ribs,
OF any other portion of his framework, if
the custom of society had made such an
anatomical surrender proper.
Miss Clamm was the faded flower who
had fixed her battered and venerable affec-
tions upon Mr. Duffy without any pTovOca-
ton having been offered by him, and Mr..
Duffy hated >Clamm with quite as much IN
te4lsity as he loved Smith, because Clamm
would always hasten to him at the church
meetings and the evening companies, and
gush over to linn in the presence of people,
and insist upon his company home at the
very moment when he had determined to
escort Miss Smith.
And SO, when st. Valentines day came
round, Duffy thought it would be a clever
idea to send proposal of marriag re to Miss
Smith, and at the same time to cool the
enthusiasm of Clamm with an outrageous
comic valentine of some kind. He pro-
cured one of these Immediately, and then
wrote to his only Smith a note beginning
with Dearest and ending with Yours
till DEATH Unhappily it came to pass
that Mr.. Duffy placed each of these papers
in the wrong envelope and while the com
ic affair went away to Smith, a direct pro-
pOsal proceeded TO Clamm. Nothing could
have been more unfortunate, for no sooner
did the aforesaid Clamm receive Dutfy's
note than she suddenly did up her back
hair, put on her bonnet, assumed her UNI
brela and gum shoes, and started by the
shortest route to James Dufy's residence.
When the front door was opened, she
dashed past the hired girl and into the sit
ting-room, where, finding Jim reading q
newspaper, she flung her arms about his
neck, dropped her head upon his shoulder
and her umbrella upon his corn, and ex-
claimed
Take me, take me, James Take me,
dearest am yonrs-yours forever"
ence of mind, he struggled to diseugage
himself, while he attempted to explain to
her that he should not take her; that he
did not want her; that she was not his
forever, or for five minutes; and that if
| she did not remove her forehead from his
vest, and her umbrella from the vicinity of
| his toe, he should be compelled TO call the
| police.
| But Miss CIamm would hear no expla-
! nation. She nestled closer and closer TO
| his waistcOat, and cried into his watch
| pocket, and kept pluHging her umbrella
| about with such eTTatic vigor, that Mr.
| Duiy's left foot continually executed half
| of the waltz movements in an effort to save
| its most sensitive oxcrescence from torture
! But at last, when Clamm muttered some
thing about fixing the wedding day and
| making it soon, Jim Duffy tore himself
| away and fed to the garret, where he
| locked the door and tied the trap down
| with rope, lest the invincible Clamm should
| burst in upon him from that direction.
! Meantime, Miss Smith received the COM
ic valentine; and recognizing Duffy hand
writing upon the envelope, She was deeply
! panied, and she thought she might indi-
rectly obtain comfort and an explanation
of the matter by calling upon her bosom
| friend, the sister of MIR. Duffy. So she
sailed out and reached the house. 1t hap
peued by the very strange coincidence that
her bonnet and cloak bore kind of gener-
al resemblance to those worn by Clamm {;
and Duffy, when he heard the door-belI
ring, looked out from the garnet window,
and felt perfectly certain that the TemOrse-
less Miss Ciamm had returned for the pur-
pose of improsSing more firmly upon his
mind that she was his forever and he could
take her So Duffy did a most scandalous
and ungentlemanly thing. He emptied
bucket of water out of the window upon
the figure below.
Miss Smith went home damp and indig-
Dant A little while after her return,
Clamm, being in pursuit of her Duffy,
called upon Miss Smith, hoping to find him
there. She waited IA the parlor while
Miss Smith changed her clothing, and
meanwhile 1t really occurred to Mir. Duffy
to go to Smiths and ask for an answer to
his proposal. 1t was a sunny day, and
snow was upon the ground. The parlor
and entry were gloomy and when Duffy
went in, he could hardly see hand breadth
before him. But the eye of Miss Clamm
was upon iiinI. As Lu came INTO the parIor