The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-05-10
ANECDOTES.

Olu gentleman, Judge Ii, well known
throughout the State, as well for his distin-
guished ability as for his generosity and
congeniality. Among his chattel possess
ions, was negro named Jake, or, as he was
more Familiarity called. Uncle Jake, and there
never lived more provoking old darkey ;
for Uncle Jake, although favorite, had many
weaknesses, and among others, he was par
ticularly regardless of truth to such an ex-
tent in fact, that occasionally the good old
Judge found it necessary to punish him. 1t
was the custom in those days for the town
constable to administer fbgging for con-
sideration, whenever the master was disin-
clined to officiate, and the constable Of this
particular town had severe reputation for
proficiency among the darkeys who had been
so unfortunate as to come under his hands.
Jake, although he had never been there,
was well posted, and had a great repugnance
to Massa C, who was the incumbent at
that time. On one occasion, during the
Christmas days, when the old Judge was
qI-Ge severely indispOsed, Uncle Jake had
been guilty of misdemeanor. and punishment
was deemed necessary, so the Judge wrote
a note to the constable about as follows:
Mr.. c.: Please to give the bearer
thirty-nine lashes and charge the same to
me. JUDGE H."
Calling on Uncle Jake, the Judge order
ed him to carry the note to C., who
would give him grubbing hoe.
Jake started off up town, but his suspi-
cions were aroused. He couldn't understand
what the Judge wanted with agrubbing hoe
at Christmas time, and his conscience was
not as clear as it might have been. The re-
suit of his suspicion was that the truth sud
denly flashed upon him--he was to be whip
ped. Seeing school-boy approaching, he
took the note and said
"Massa Bob, what am in dis note? Got
SO many dis morning, I got 'em mixed"
The boy read the note and explained its
contents to Jake, who whstled and laughed
to himself, as bright idea struck him.
Calling negro boy, who was near, Jake
said:
Boy, does you want to make quarter
"Of course l does"
Well, take dis note down dar to Massa
G. an git grubbin' hoe, and l wait
here till you come back, and den | give you
quarter"
The boy hurried off to accomplish his err
'ehNI anu III QuC tilIc ucllNcIcu lu6 uOLc W
G., who took him into the yard, locked
the gate, and proceeded, despite the boy s
protestations of innocence, to administer
the desired hogging, while Jake hurried off
home, chuckling over the happy result of
what might have been serious business for
him.
That evening the Judge called him up,
and inquired ..,.
Jake, did you get that grubbing hoe?"
:" No, massa; | give boy a quarter to
fotch dat note to Massa c., and l spect
he got dat hoe"
A FAR-WEsTERN COURT SCENE.-Judge
B., of Missouri, was in many respects a
remarkable man. He stood six feet two in
his boots, and was as fond of froic as the
most rattling lad in the country He could
drink more liquor, lift heavier bag O.
meal" and play better game of poker
than any man in the circuit.
1t happenened one day, while he was
holding court, that Mr.. Dewzenbury, a
rough looking, but independent customer,
came into the court room with his hat on
his head. This the Judge considered an
indiguity offered to the court, and forth
with ordered Mr.. d. to take off his hat.
To this Mr.. Dewzenbury paid no at
tention, which, being observed by "his
honor" he ordered the sheriff to take
that mans hat off,"
Take your hat off," cried the sheriff
MIR. Dewzenbury remained motionless, and
the judge proceeded to business. At last,
raising his eyes, his honor again discovered
the incOrrigible standing with his hat on his
head.
Sheriff. cried the judge, " take that
mans hat off"
The sheriff approached, and repeated the
command of the Judge
+" Pm bald said Mr.. D., and can't COM
ply"
You can't" exclaimed the judge, waxing
angry " then fine you five dollars for con-
tempt of court"
q What is that you say, judge? ?" replied
Mr.. D., as he walked deliberately up to the
stand of the Judge.
a fine you five dollars, sir, for contempt
of court"
"Very we'll" said Mr. D., as he carefully
put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out
a ffty-cent piece. Very well, here is the
money" handing the judge the half dollar /;
" this squares u.s. judge. You owed me four
dollars and half when we quit playing po-
ker last night, and this half makes US even"
The bar roared, the crowd smiled, and the
judge pocketed the change, without uttering
a word.
A Coon JoKE-Old Gov L, of Yer
mont, was one of the most inveterate jokers
of the early times, in which he figured. An
anecdote is told of him, which has never
been related in print, and never can be- per-
haps, with much effect but we will try it.
One fall, as he was returning from the Leg
islature. on horseback, as usual at that day,
he was hailed from house by garrulous
old maid, who had often annoyed him with
questions respecting public affairs.
"Well, governor" said she, coming out
towards the road, " what new laws have you
passed at Montpelier, this timer"
"Well, one rather singular one among the
rest" he replied.
Dew tell! Now what is it, governor 4"
asked the excited querist.
why, that the woman in each town who
has the smallest mouth, shall be warranted
a husband"
"Whoy, who'll" said she, drawing her
mouth to the smallest compass, "whot
queer, curious lor that is"
Yes, but we have passed another that
beats that the woman that has the largest
mouth is to have two husbands
"Why, wharf !" exclaimed the old maid,
instantly relaxing her mouth, and stretching
it wider at every syllable, what remarka-
bic law that is when does it come in force,
governor"
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