The Placer herald., 1873-04-19
MY WAtE'c BniDAL IOuK,
The Best Way TO Manage aWife- Advice 10
Young

The Best way TO Manage a. wife Advice 10
Young Men.
When | married my second wife, she was
dreadful set about going off on bridal tour.
| told her she had better wait six months or
year and I'd 60 with her, and she said
she d rather 20 alone--when woman is
travelling, a man is an out-and-out humbug
So gave her seventy five cents and told
ter to go and have good time. | never
begrudge money when my wife's happiness
is concerned. My first wife never could
complain of not going anywhere, for l am
dreadful fierce TO go off on a good time my
ssf. | don't pretend to say how many
l.nSs I took her out to see the sights, and
here ~ax.ao end to the free lectures let
her 90 toe The neiehbors used to say, cit
beats all how the Skinners do go!"
" hen the circus was in Skunkhill, the
m anager gave my wife a complimentary,
ii ket. not only sold the ticket for m,
wife, but gave her half the money. don't
boast of it; but only mention it to show how
mach | thought of her happiness.
| don't think any man ought to get mar
ried until he can consider hi wifes happiness
only second to his own. John Wise, neigh
TOR of mine, did tlusly, and went and got
married, concluded to do likewise.
But the plan didn't work in the case Of
second wife, No, should say not. |
oroached the subject kindly.
Matilda" said ], 81 suppose you are
aware that am now your lord and master?'
'Not much you an't said she.
"Mrs. Skinner" said |, "you are fear
fully discouraged You are cranky" And
| brandished my new sixty cent umbrella
wildly around her.
She took the umbrella away from me and
locked me up in the clothes press.
| am quick to diaw an Inference. drew
here that | WAS not IA success as a reorgan-
yer OF female WON n.
After this. changed my tactics. ! let
her have her own way; and the plan from
'he first, worked like charm 1t is The
best way Of managing wife that know of.
Ofcourse this is between you and me.
It's secret worth knowing.
SO when my wife said she was bound to
20 off on bridal tour anyhow, | cordially
assented.
go. Matilda" said |, "and stay as long
as you want to. and then if you feel like
staying little while longer, stay, my dear.
She told me TO stop talking, and so up
stairs and get her red flannel night cap, ana
,hat bag of pennyroyal for her aunt Abigail
My wife Is "A smart woman. She was
Baxter-he Baxters are smart family, in
deed Her mother, who is going on eighty,
can fry more slaI'ck now nov than hali
Of those prmp uptown girls who rattle on
the piano, and walk the streets with their
turbelows and fxings, pretend to get mad ii
young Oh p looks at them very hand, ba'
getting mad in earnest if you take no notice
Of them at all.
Ali girls amt what they used to be when
| was young, and the fellows are worse still.
hen | went courting, for instance. never
thought of staying till after ten O'Clock, and
only twice week. Now they go seven
nights week and cry because there AIM
eight. Then they write touching notes to
each other during the day.
"DEAR GEoRGE:-Do you love me as
much as you did quarter Of twelve lasl
hight? Say you do, dearest, aud it wi give
me courage to 20 down and tackle those cold
beans, left over from yesterday"
Let them get together and court it they
like it. and tn nix they do. l was forty
seven when courtcd my second wife, bul
it seemed just AS nice to sit on little crackei
At her feet, and let her smooth my hair, as
it did thirty years ago.
AS said before, my wife was smart
woman; but she couldn't be anyt ing else
and be Baxter She used to give lectures
IN womar's rights, and in one place where
she ecrured, big college conferred the ttl'
Of l.. i. ID. upon her. But she wouldn't
take it. "No, gentlemen" said she, "give
II to the poor. She was always just 60
charitable. She gave her boys permission
to 20 barefooted that they might be read y to
start in with the rest of the boys when Sum
ner came, and insisted on it 80 much in her
kind way that lhe boys couldn't refuse.
She fairly dotes upon my ch ldren and ]
have seen her many lme 90 for THEN
rousers' pockets after they had gone to
sleep, and take ont their pennies aud put
them in her bureau drawer Tor fear they
might lore them
| started to tell Won all about my wife,
bridal tour; hut the fact is | never could
lind out much about it myself. beeve
she had good time. She came back i'm
proved in health, and found out before sht
had been in the house twenty-four hours,
hat she had gained strength also, DOM
say how found out. .mr
In conclusion would say to all young men
marry your second wife first, and keep oul
pf debt ty all means, even if you have to
borrow the money to do it,
DE careful NOW you 20 10 sleep at an auc-
IL A gentleman settled himself in h
.omfctu i,la s.l..,ir and III, no eonfhed h\