Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-07-31

ICQAus II l. hSOhSs
Fashion and style are the -attrac-
tions of many churches.
Cholera miXture-becr, cucumbers,
and green corn.
On the increase-promcnading in
the evening.
Barnum ought to have a giant-let
him send for aten-foot Pole.
The DEMOCRAT for the campaign
for so cents. Send in your stamps.
The ball will soon open.
If dirt were trumps, we believe
some of the streets and alleys i'll Ea-
ton would hold a full hand.
You can die now so per cent cheap
or than ever. Darrah and Dunlap
have reduced the price.
Matters and things about town are
"awful" dull, as. the girls say. Some
things got to be did.
Beets are in the market. We don't
mean "dcad-bcats; /" they are always
on hand.
Some of our young men have their
hair cut after the Columbus peniten-
tiary fashion.
Dirt and filth are trumps in several
places in Eaton. Spades have played
out. So
A good pair young lady with a
grecian bend and a young man with
his hair parted in the middle.
The best way to muzzie a dog is to
press tile mnzzle close against the left
ear-thcn pull the trigger.
When wealthy and fashionable peo-
pie are caught stealing, they say they
are subject to kleptomania.
The onFy'"back pay" we favo is
that due lis on old accounts. We
don't want to "grab," but will receive
it if it is rendered.
After an absence of several weeks,
we notice the smiling countenancc. of
Thomas Cat on our streets again. lie
is ever welcome.
Since the postage law went into ef-
feet it is impossible for us to supply
the demand for exchanges. The size
of busties must be reduced.
Taxes have al upward tendency.
The products of labor u downward
one. Such is modern Rc~publicanism.
Grant and gloryf
Young fellows on limited. salaries,
who wish to marry, should emigrate
to Japan, where onecan live in luxury
for five cents a day.
The latezappearanee of the hustle is
caused from the fact, that the ladies
just found cut That they were minus
that much shape.
"Why,r asks a Philadelplia paper,
els Adam supposed to have led a re-
peaceful married life ~ Wei
really foa'tknow, unless it was bel
cause he had ITO mother-in-iaw.
Farmcrsl Do you know That your
taxes win be higher next year? Do
you know why it is? Vote, for a
change and youswill put the AK at the
root sof1he'eyil
It is nice thing in the morals of
our country to see a professed chris
tian defending a drunken and de-
President, and 1.-THE same
time railing agafnstintemperancel
Texas ~epizootic is anew name for
horse stealing in the Lone Star State.
A;dose of hemp tea cures it e~ffectual-
ly, and the horse is recovered, but the
patient isn't.
A man in Taunton recovered $1,000
from a grocer who sold his wife kero-
sene oil which exploded and killed
her. That oil would sell at S. a gall
Ion in Eaton.
1t is not "the thing" now to wear
the bridal veil over the face at all. 1t
is twisted about the head in a manner
strongly suggestive of a burlesque ac
about to have her photograph
taken.
JOSH BILLINGS says: FUSS works
hard all day, and don't do ennything
goes to bed tireda at night, and gifts up
next morning and begins where she
left oph."
Eaton wasaively on Saturday last.
saw several under the influence
of bcnzine. One fellow found his
way to- the Calaboos, which is now
ready for disturbers of the peace.
The bonnet of the period is a min
iature kitchen garden. 1t is d~ecorat-
ed with. cherries, grapes, blackberries,
little carrots, bits ofparsley, long pale
green beans, sorrel, marjorum and
other vegetables familiar to profess
ors of culinary science.
1t is said that old man Grant be-
queathed his fortune of S75,0 900 to his
three daughters, leaving Ulysses never
a cent. What that poor, unfortunate
orphan is to do now fora living is
than vvn oan foil Tbaro.n he |