Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-12-13
THE MAIL COACH.

stone-had occasion to travel in summer Nv
sagecoach from Oxford to London. The stage
carried six inside; and our hero engaged two
! places (as, in consideration of his size he
usually didJ forhimself. The other four seats
kere taken by oxford students.
tese youths, being lighter than our modern
pert reached the stage before he did, and
"a snugly possessed himself in a corner seat
leaving acentre seat on each side vacant. The
round, goOd-tempered face Of John Bull soon
after appeared at the carriage door; and peer
ing into the vehicle and observing the local
Tangements, its owner said, with a smile, s.You
see am of a pretty comfortable size, gentle
men; so have taken two seats 1t will greatly
obIge me If one of you will kindly move into
the opposite seat, so may be able to enter"
My good SIR >, said a pert young la student
posse ssion Is nine tenths OF the law. You
gagged two seats. There they are, one each
side We engaged one each, came first, entered
regularly into possession, and our titles to the
seats we occupy arg indisrntabls.r
81 do not dispute your titles" said the other.
"but trust to your pOiitsu5ss, seeing how the
case stands, to enable me TO pursue my jour
2ey."
''Oh, hang politeuess,' said a hopeful Young
Scion OF some noble house, 81 have a horror Of
a middle seat, and would not take one to oblIge
my grand mother; it's ung raceful as well as un-
comfortable, and besides, one has no chance of
looking at the pretty girls along the road. GOOD
Old gentleman, arrange your concerns as YOU
please, site to my &C ner.' And he leaned
back. yawHed, and settled himself with hopeless
COmpOsuTe in his place.
Our corPulent friend, though a man not east
ly dlscompOsed. was somewhat puJ out by this
unmannerly Obstinacy. He turned to a smart
looking youth with shipper on his face-a cler-
neal student who had hitherto sat in a reyery,
possibly thinking over his chances OF a rich ben
ehce in the future. Twill you accommodate
me?' he asked; "ths is the last stage that starts
for London to-day, and business Of UT gent i'm
portance calls me to town"
"Some temporal affair, no doubt" said the
graceless youth, with mock gravity; ''some
speculation with filthy lucre for its object.
Good father, at your age your thoughts should
turn heavenward, instead of being confined to
the dull, heavy tabernacle OF clay that chains
Us to EARTH And his companions roared with
Laughter at the clever joke.
glow of Indignation just coored the stran-
gers cheek; but he mastered the feeling in a
moment, and said, with much composure, to
the fourth, care you also determined that |
taking "A Z ntre seat?'
'Ah, do, Tom" sad his lordship to the per-
Son addressed, ''he's something in the way of
sour profession, quite PHI psychological curiosity;
you ought to accommodate him
"May be poisoned il dot replied the stu
dent Of medicine. ''ln dissecting room he'd
make an excellent subject; but in a coach, and
this warm weather too Old gentleman, if you'll
put yourself under my care, I'll engage in the
course OF six weeks, by a jUdicious course of de-
pletves, to save you hereafter the expense of
double seat: But, really TO take a middle seat
an the month of july is contrary to all the rules
OF hygit ne, and practice to which have a
professional OBJ lection"
And the laugh was renewed at the old gentle
mans expense.
BY this time the patience OF coachee, who
had listened 20 the latter part of the dialogue,
was exhausted. ''Harkee. gen lem an, .; said he,
f'sette the business you like, but il wants
just thTee-guaTters Of minute TO Y, and W it'll
the first stroke of the University clock my horses
u ust be Of. / would not wait three seconds
longer for the king, God bless him. "TwOuld
be as much as nv place is worth" And with
that he mounted box, took up the reins, bid the
hOstler shut the door. and sat with appraised
whip. listening tor the expected stroke.
As it sounded from the venerable belfry the
horses, a. If they recognized the signal shot off
at gailOp with the four young rogues, to whom
their own rudeness and our fat friend dilem-
ma afforded a prolific theme for merriment dur
Meanwhile the Subject of their mirth hired a
yostchais followed and overlook them al the
second change OF horses, where the passengers
got out ten minutes for lunch As the post
chaise drove up to the inn door, two young
chimney-sweeps passed with their bags and
brooms and their well-known cry.
s.Come hither, my lads" said the corpulent
gentleman, what say to a ride"
The whites of their eyes enlarged into still
more striking contrast with the dark shades OF
the sooty cheeks. Will you have Tide, my boys,
in the stage-coaeh?'
SEES, zur, said the elder, scarcely daring to
trust the evidence of his ears.
"Well, then, hostler, open the stage door. In
Ho yST ana e one On S essS sde inc
The guards horn sounded, and coachee g voice
was heard: 'Oniy one minute and halt more,
They came, bowed laughingly to our friend
OF the cor poration, and passed on TO the coach.
The young ora was the nnst 70 pcf ms io W on
COMPOUNDED joke is this? Get out, you rascais,
or III teach you how to play gentlemen such
ssSit still, nv lads; you're entitled to your
places. My lord, the two middle seats, through
your action and that of your young friends, are
mine; they were regularly taken and duly paid
for. i choose that two proteges OF mine shall
occupy them. An English stagecoach Is free to
every one who behaves quietly. and am an
swerable for their good conduct, so mind you
behave, boys! Your lordship has a horror Of a
middle seat; pray take the corner one"
"Overreached US, by Jove," said the law STU
dent 1--WE give up the cause, and cry you
mercy, Mr.. Bull.'
"Blythe is my name"
ave cry quits. worthy Mr.. Blythe
''You forget thst possession is nine-tenths of
the law, my good sir, and that the title OF these
lads TO their seats is indisputable. L have in
stalled them as my locum tensns, if that be good
law Latin. 1t would be highly unjust to dis
lodge the poor youths, and cannot permit it.
You have your corner"
''Heaven preserve u.s. exclaimed the clerical
Student.
"You surely are not afraid of black coat,'
Tetorted the other. ''Besides, we ought not to
suffer our thoughts to dwell on petty earthly
concerns, but to turn them heavenward"
ond time than to sit by these dirty devils
Rroaned the medical student.
.'Soot is perfectly wholesome, my young
single hygienic rule. The corner you selected
Is vacant. Pray get in
ming behind, actually cheated into forgetful-
ness OF time by the excellence of the joke, came
1o iv,, aGehtlemen, you nave los. me a
ny"
The students cast rueful glances at each
other, and crept warily into their respective cor
Ders. As the hostler shut the door he found 1t
impossible to control his features "l'n give
You something to change vour cheer, you grin
ming rasc7l, ," said the disciple of Esculapus
stretching out of the window; but the hOstler
Iimbly ev AIDED the blow.
MY white pantaloons'" cried the lord.
"My beautiful drab surtout!" exclaimed the
lawyer expectant. 'sThe filthy rascalsio
The noise OF the carriage-wheeis and the I'M
Restrained laughter of the spectators drowned
the sequel of their lamentations.
AT the next stage a bargain was struck. The
sweeps were liberated and dismissed with
Yratuity; the seats shaken and brushed; the
worthy sons Of the university msde up, among
themselves the expenses of the pOstchaise; the
young doctor violated, for once, the rules of hy-
Riene, by taking a middle At; and ali Journey
ed on together without further qusrreliing or
grumbling, except from coachee, who declared
that 'to be kept over time minute and a
half at one stage and only three seconds less