Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-11-27
THE TRoUBkE IN THE ARK.

The fRoo4E In THE AfA'
In the autumn of 1880 attended
protracted meeting in the interior
of Georgia, and heard o sermon which
I have never been able to forget ol
describe. / have attempted several
times to write it. But it cannot be
put on paper. The main force of it
was in the snufing and splitting and
groaning and hound-atter-a-fox sort
Of yelp and whine, to which no per
can do justice.
The preacher had just been licens-
ed, and it was his first sermon. In
person he was small, bullet-headed,
Of a fair, sandy complexion, and his
countenance was indicative of sin
certify and honesty. His remarks
evinced great reverence for the works
of God as manifested in zoology and
natural history, and he "was taking
up the. Bible in regular order for the
first time in his life" He had gotten
as far as the history Of Noah, the ark,
the food, etc. Besides, "just before
his conversion he had been reading
Goldsmith's Animated Mater and
The two together, by the aid and as
sistance of the sperit, had led him
into a powerful frame of thinking as
he stood at his workbench "day in
and day out" But whatever his
sermon may have been, it was his
own. The text was As it was in
the days of Noah, so shall the COM
ing of the Son of man be-" After
commenting upon that portion Of
Genesis descriptive of the food, he
warmed up" suddenly, and broke
out in the following strains:
Yes. my brethren, the heavens OF
the windows was opened-ah, and the
floods Of the great deep kivered
the waters-ah, and there was She:.,
and there was Ham. and there was
Japheth ah. ALL a-gwine into the
ark-ah.
And there was the elephant-ah,
that great alimal-ah, Of which
Goldsmith describes in his Animated
Nater'-ah, what is as big as horse
an, and his bones as big as tree-ah,
depending somewhat on the size Of
the tree-ah. all a-gwine into the
ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows were opened-ah, and the
foods of the great deep kivered
the waters-ah, and there was Shem.
and there was Ham, and there was
Japheth ah, ALL a-gwine into the
ark-ah.
"And there was the bippopota-
mus-ah, that great animal-ah; Of
which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Nater'-ah, what has q
g-r-e-a-t horn-ah <a-stiekin' right
straight up out of his forward-ah, six
feet long, more or less-sh, depending
somewhat on the length of it-ah, all
a-gwine into the ark-ah.
And there was the girafFe.an, my
bretherin that ill-contrived reptile
Of which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Mater -ail whose fore leg,
is twenty-five feet long ah, more OF
less-sh, depending somewhat on the
length of 'em-lh, and II neck 80 10 Q
he can't eat hay off the top Of Il barn
ah, depending somewhat on the hithe
If The barn-;lE. al a-gwine into the
ark-ah. And the heavens and windows
was opened-ah, and the floods OF the
great deep kivered the waters-ah
there was Shem, and there was Ham,
and Japheth-ah, all a-gwine int'
the ark-ah.
"And there WAS the zebra, ms
bretheren-ali. the beautiful animal OF
which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Nater-ah, which has
three hundred stripes a runnin right
round his body.;h, more Or less, de-
pending somewhat on the number oil
stripes-ah; and nary two stripes
alike-ah, all a-gwine into tile ark ah.
"And there was the anaconder-ah.
thai great sarpint of which Gold.
smith describes in his Animated Ma.
ter-ah, what can swallow six oxens at
a meal.ah, provided his appetite don t
call for le,s.ah, all u-gwlne into the
ark-ah. And the heavens Of the
windows was opened-ab, and the
foods of the great deep kivered the
waters-ah, and there was Shem, and
there was Ham, and there was ia
pheth-ah, all gwine into the ark
all.
And there was the lion, my
brethren.ah. what is the king Of beasts
accordin' to scliptsr-at, and who, AZ
st. Paul says-ah. prowls around Of
night like u roarin devil-ah, a seek
in if he cant catch somebody-ah, all
gwine into the ark-ah.
And there was the antelope, my
brethren, that frisky little critter-ah,
of which Goldsmith describes in his
Animated Mater -ah. what can jump
seventy-fve feet straight up-ah, and
twice that distance do~n-ah, proyi-
ded his legs will take him that fur-ah,
all g gwine into the ark-ah. And the
heavens Of the windows was opened
ah, and the floods of the great deep
kiyered the waters-ah. and there was
Shem, and there was Ham, and there
was Japheth-ah, all a gwine into the
ark-ah.
Just at this point he stopped speak
ing few moments, wiped his fore
head, turned. back, bis wristbands, ran
his fingers through his hair, spit and
rubbed his boot in it, drank little
water, commenced on lower key,
and proceeded us follows:
But time woald fail me my breth-
rem to describe all the animals that
went into thesirk-Ah J. your patience
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