Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-04-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Ihe tide OF emlgratl0n through Onana
to the West continues unabated.
Was Joseph the first smallpox pa
tient ? He was the first one who was
pit-ted.
The ladies do their hair up so high
now that they have to stand on some
thing to put on their hats.
The New York Times publishes list
of seventeen Congressman who have re-
fused to receive their back pay.
A st. Louis paper recommends an am
bilious debating society in that State to
decide (Which is the butt end of
goat.
1t is reported that there is more corn
on the line of the Chicago, Burlington
and Pacific road than can be transported
by next July.
A Western man at prayer-meeting
said, somewhat envIously-'Brother Law
son can sing better than | can, but by
the grace Of Heaven L can fiddle his
shirt of"
Austin, the man in Anoka, MINI. who
went crazy on the subject of religion,
has recovered from his religion Gf not
from his craziness) sufficiently to give
his wife a severe beating.
The editor of the Moorhead Cd. c.
Star says: "We offer especial induce
ments to our subscribers who club to-
gether and send in any little matter of
eatables, as it were
Fashion is rarely useful. 1t scorns
utility. That of wearing the hair loose
ly down the back is now going out just
as fly time begins to dawn.
The Cubans in New York have formed
a new organization. styled, ''Los Amigos
Cubans," which will be composed only
of known patriots.
The Mormons object to paying any
more church tithes, but Brigham Young
tells them that tithe-payirg is the basis
of salvation Good.
A Michigan man, whose wife and child
were burned to death by the explosion
of kerosene lamp, died of grief few
days after.
A man died in New York town the
other day. and in his will left ''that old
liar and tattler, the widow Jones, two
cents"
The Omaha Bee suggests that if the
postmaster of Omaha would resign
many persons would feel less anxious
about their money letters. Old-fashion
ed people would call that personal.
Do the Wheelwrights and Hubbards
of to-day claim descent from the fel
loes of the ancient city of Tyre? WhC
spoke?
Governor Smith of Georgia has issued
invitations to the Governors of Western
and Southern States to meet him a
Atlanta, on the goth of May, to confe
concerning the scheme to connect tn
Tennessee river with Savannah.
"Humph!" said an Englishman to
Scotchman, as they were walking owe
the fields, oats are all very we'll in thei
way; but in England we feed them t
our horses, while here they are food fo
men," GAY, ay !' said the Scotchman
. '.an' just see what fine horses there ar
in England, and what fine men we hav
in Scotland p
A Vallejo Cali young lady, about t
60 off on the train, stepped into the dar
sitting room of the depot to kiss he
friend Sarah, good-by. Owing to th
darkness she didn't hit Sarah, but cal
omed on Chinaman, and didn't fin
4, out the mistake until John began yell
ing, "Whatee for you so chokee me
!? Hi va Fo squeeze so m1chee |" On
yell, a Topping of feminine garments,
slammed door and that girl was gone.
A Syracuse gentleman and his wi
left home, few days ago, for an extent
ed Southern tour, intending to spend I'll
spring months in Florida. They got
p far as New York, and in visiting one
the theatres there the gentleman WI
rs robbed of his wallet containing the Sc
eral hundred dollars with which he w
to defray the expenses of the trip.
the rear of that gentleman's Syracu
" house may be seen thoughtful m;
- chopping wood in his shirt sleeves, viii
a sad-eyed woman within pats butter al
sighs.
A correspondent wants to know why
is, if Uncle Sam can afford to sell post
card for one cent and then carry it thl
the mails without additional charge, th
three cents should be the lowest figu
at which he can transport letters whi
weigh no more than the card, and viii
ne does not furnish. We have ne1
in comprehended the occult laws whi
govern the post-ofice department, a
are forced to ask for an easier one.
Commercial Bulletin.
The following are some of the thir
we shall not be sorry for:
= For hearing before judging