davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

A writer in Chambers Journal, on
Short Speeches and Court Correspon.
Deuce gives budget of anecdotes some
of which are fresh, and others, we'll
otherwise. Here are the best of them :
AN American judge once intervered
in an odd way to prevent waste of
words. lie was sitting in chambers and
seeing, tfom the piles of papers in the
lawyers hahds, that the first case was
likely to be hardly contested he asked,
hat is the amount in question 1.-TWO
dollars, suid the plaintiffs counsel. III
pay it, said the judge, handing over the
money; call the next case He had
not the patience Of taciturn Sir William
Grant, who, alter listening for couple
OF days to the arguments of counsel as to
the construction Of an act, quietly
abservcd, when they had done, "The
act is repealed" One morning woman
was shown into DR.. Abernethy's room !;
before he could speak, she barred her
arm, saying Burn" ga poultice," said
the doctor. Next day she appeared,
showed her arm and said, Better"
Continue the poulticc" Some DAYS
elapsed before A Sernethy saw her again;
then she said, "Wcll, your fee p "No,h.
ing, quoth the great rhedico; "you are
the most sensible WON an ever saw p
Lord Aberdeen, the Premier of the
Coalition Ministry, was remarkable for
the little use he made of his tongue.
When, by way of reconcling him to
accompanying her on sea trip, the
Queen smilingly observed: II believe,
my lord, you are not often seasick 2"
always, madam," was the brief but
significant reply. "But," said she, "not
very seasick 7" ,"very, madam" Z" said
the uncompromising minister. An in.
quisitive French bishop once caught
Tartar in the Duke de Roquelaire. The
latter passing in haste through Lyons,
was hailed BY the bishop with eli!
hi" The duke stopped. "Where
have you como from ?" inquired the
prelate. "Paris," said the duke. "What
is fresh in Paris Z" "Green peas. Il"
but what were the people saying when
you left" "Vespers. "'Goodness, man,
broke cut the angry questioner, evho
are you! What are you called ?''
Ignorant people call me "Hil nj,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
How the Boy Arises.

Calling boy mp in the morning can
hardly be classed under the head Of
"Pastlnes, especially if the boy is toud
OF exercise the day before Aud it is
Little singular that the next hardest
thing to getting boy out of bed is
getting him into it. There is rarely
mother who is success at rousinc n.
boy. All mothers knows this; so do
their boys Aud yet the mother seems
to go at it i'll the right way. She opens
the stair door and insuu ,tingly observes: :
'Johnny." There is no response. =
''Jho"ny.' Still no response. Then
there is short sharp John :"
followed q moment later by pro
longcd and emphatic John Henry -
y grunt from the upper region
signifies that an Impression has been
made, and the mother is encouraged to
add, You'd better be getting down here
to your breakfast, young man, batore
come up there, an give something you'll
feel" THIS so startles the young man
thut he Immediately goes to sleep again.
And the operation has to be repeated
several times.
A father knows nothing about this
trouble. He merely opens his mouth
as a soda bottle elects its cork, and the
"John Henry ~ that ceaves the air of
TINT stairway goes into the boy like elec-
tricity, and pierces the deepest recesses
of his very nature. Aud he pops out of
the bed into his cloths, down the stairs,
with promptness that is commendable
1t is rarely a boy allows himself to dis
regard the parental summons. About
once a year is believed to be as often as
is consistent with the rules of heath.
He saves his father good maay steps
by his thoughtfulnoss.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
Recognition of Merit i'm the South.

There was no part Of the country in
which talent and virtue, no matter how
humble its origin, or from what locality
OF the Union, had speedicr recognition
than in the Southern States. The illus.
trations Of this truth are almost number
less. The great George McDutie, Of
South Carolina was Of humble parentage
The father ofPresident Andrew Jack son,
natire Of North Carolina, was poor
man, aud his mother belonged to hard
working family of linen wea,ers The
father Of John G. Calhoun left his
family ia moderate circumstances, aud
after his death his son resided with his
widowed mother, labor.ng on the farm.
Andrew johnson OF Tennessee, was
originally a tailor. These are only a
few out of many instances ofthe prompt
and practical recognition of labor in the
South, without regard to ori gin. The
same is true, whatever may have been the
locality from which talent came. John
NJ. Bcrricn, the distinguished reprcsen.
tatve in former days of Georgia in the
United States Senate, was i native of
New Jersey. Johuson, Of Virginia, a
of New York, was elected Governor
OF Virginia over George W. Summers a
n wa r. ~ ~
DR. Josiah Clark Mott, principal author
OF the famous TYPES OF Mankind" by
Mott and Gliddon, was n nltive of East
ern Connecticut, but moved to Camden.
south Carolina, where he practiccd la y
with success, was elected to Congress
and ended his days as Judge of tn c
State Court of Appeals. The most
brilliant and popular orator in the
Southern States, Sargent s. Plentiss. of
Mississippi, was native of Maine. aud
one of the most famous Southern editors.
George D. Prcntss, Of Kentucky, was
native Of Connecticut-The list might
be lnd lhnitely extended The "tlue
6lpod OF the South has never been
more potent than the yellow gold' OF
the North III keeping to itself the KEYS
that unlock the gates Of success. 1t is
great mistake to rcprcsen that III any
section of this country. which was settled
mainly by tic poor aud middle classes :
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
Some Fun Over Ladies' Carriers.

The Richmond (va) Enquirer says
Some New England lady, Mrs. Daniels,
we believe--another of the Daniels come
to judgemont-has inveAted a newfanyl.
ed apparatus for keeping the ladies
sto kings up, which is to supcrsedo the
time -houore1 and knightly garter. 1t
may do we'll enough for those ladies who
lack sufficient rotundity of limb, but
Virginia women are not deficient in any
OF the necessary adjuncts that 20 to
make up the perfect mould of form
and can keep their garters on, and stock.
ings up without resortipg to any new
Inventions. What will the Yankees ask
US to surrender textl The garter is an
old aud cherished institution; and,
although the classic invention with the
buckle has boeu accepted by many city
bellies, the free born aud unconyentiona,
country girls still stick to twine aud
tape and other strings even using
us tie the primitive wisr OF straw. We
will have none OF this new fashioned hin
attachment gearing. We arc trde to our
ancient ties. 1t s direct assault upon
our ci"ilisation--a blow aimed az our
gartered rights--and we will resent t
while We have a leg TO stand on. Ladies,
DO true toycur stockings. Unfarl the
banner ofthe garter, and iusoribe upon
It chat sfaal ta7tso Of the granasst order
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
La Rochelle.

worthy man of Paris town,
Come to the bishop there;
His face, oerclouded with dismay,s.
Betrayed fixed despair
"Father," said he, ia sinner vile
Am j, against my will;
Each hour humbly pray for faith,
But am doubter still.
''Sure, were not despiscd of God;
He would not leave me so,
To struggle thus, in constant strife,
Against the deadly foe."
The bishop to his sorrowing son
Thus spoke n kind relief:
'.The King OF France has castles twain;
To each he sends o chief
"There's Montelhery, far inland,
That stands in place secure;
While La Rochelle, upon the coast,
Doth sieges oft endure.
Nov, for these castlcs--5oth preserved
First in his princes love
Shall Montelherys chief be placed,
Or La Rochelle's above?"
Z "oh, doubtless, sire" the sinner said,
''That king win love the most
The man whose task was hard, To keep
His castle on the coast!''
''Son," snid the bishop, .fhou art right;
Apply this reasoning we'll;
Ny Heart is Montelhcry fort,
And thine is La Rochellel"
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
NUMBER IS

gentlemen call me the Duke de Roque-
laire. Drive on postillionp Talleyrand
acknowledged pathetic letter from
lady friend, announcing her widowhood,
with note of two words: "Helas,
madam ]" And, when the easily con-
soled dame wrote not very, long after
ward soliciting his influence IN behalf Of
an officer she was about to marry, he
merely replied "Ho! no madame =
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

of knighthood ever established ed-"Honi
soft qai NAL y pe,Se"- and there is not
:nan, young or old, in Virginia, but
will rally round the flag and shed his
last drop of blood in defence of til e gar
ter rights of women, and cry, "Down
with the Yankee hip-ocraey"
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
Post Card Jokes:
INCIDENTS OF THE CHEAP DIrfusioA OF
1NTELLIGENCE.

The new device oof Posthhia5atcrT aetc:r-
al Creswbll, the postal cards, went into
circulation yesterday. AS they have
been somewhat elaborately described in
the special dispatches for the last several
weeks, 1t is not necessaty to go into
particulars here. Besides nearly every
body has Seen them, aud knows how TO
describe tlrcm himself. But for sener,
al description j. might be said that thcy
are designed ior the distribution of
intelligence among the masses at Cue.
'hid the usual latc You can write al
most anything you please on postal
card, so that it isu't too long that is to
say, the article that is written. Blu,
there are some things that d, not read
well ON a postal card. Take, for instance,
n large boarding house, where tile land
lrdy takes care of tho mail Until the
boarders call for it. This sometimes
makes the diffusion ofintclligencc among
tho masses {. triae too difflse for COM
fort. The postniah comes to the door
With an armfnl of postal cards. The
landlady relieves him of the burden.
gees in and sits down and begins to sort
them over for the various boarders
Presently she strikes one which reads
thus
ST.. LOUIS, May II.
My dedr Wc2ph-Come to. night at
haif'past 10. Side gate open. Bulldog
chained up in the basement. Light iu
the window for you.
Yours, sweetly, f. B. L.
Landlady then turns to the other side
of the card. She reads the superscrip
tion:
Mr.. THEoPHILus MUFFLEcHEEK
No. 1875 Hash avenue, City.
Landlady rests her checks on her left
hand and muses.. LaDdlady solus
Well, now, did ever? Who'd
thought that Mr. .Mutflecheek was
that kind Of man? Came here, too,
with the highest references from his last
place. Pays his board regular every
Saturday at tea. Belongs to our church,
too" Reads again.l "Half past ten
dear me, and l always thought he
went to bed regularly at half. past nine.
Ball dog chained up in the basement !.
Well, | never I'll keep little watch
on Mr.. Muflechesk III expose him
before the church" Then she draws a
long sigh, aud proceeds with another
card GRcads,l
ST. Louis, May IL.
Sri have now waited four weeks
for the balance on that sui. Of clothes.
l need the money. Must have it on
Monday
Yours, NiMBLENEEDLE.
Turns to the superscription aud reads:
Mr.. JkRoME B. SUNpLowER,
No. 1875 Hash Avenue.
"Well, if ever heard the like in my
lifel Mr. Susaower is such a nice
gentlemaa. Aud he uses such elegant
perfamery. Let me seej he ewes me for
two weeks board. Told me this morn.
ing heswas espectiag 4 check from home,
! nsast 80 10 his nsasd sou how
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

The ladies of the harem the King
of Siam have put Off the Siamese harem
costume aud donned the European ha.
rem -scarem costume, consisting of CHG
mons, high -heeled CATERS and back flies
of newspapers.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

A girl declared that if she could
choose her mode of death, she would
prefer being smothered-- kisses.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
sLAUGHTER-HOUs BUTTER

WHAT THE GUESTS OF. FASHIONABLE
HOTELS EAT DAILY--oRANGE COUNTY
BUTTER THAT COMES DIRECT FROM
Tuk CRY sLAUaHrERuousEs-
LET THEM GO TO WORK AND MANU-
FAcTuRB CALVES AND VEAL OUTLETS.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
A VARIATION.

Pos'man rings at a modest looking
mansion on Locust street. Servant
girl comes to the door. Postal cards
Tor the master of the house who has
only been married a couple oc years
Servant girl delivers ilA postal carls to
the young wife. Young wife rends
Sr. Louis, May IL.
Dedt Joc-Will Be at the S6fncr Of
Twelfth and Pine, back, half past nine.
First class party of boys. BE on hand
Half past nine, sharp. Wake 'em MP.
OK.
Young wife lays down the postal card
and elcvates her eyebrows. Mr.. Cress.
wells cheap method of diffusing intell
'g nee has let food of new light in
upon her mind
Young wife, soh,s,-"So this is the
club, is itY Riding around town in
hacks all hight, with a party of first
class boys. On dear, oh dear % Then
she weeps copiously and sghs deeply.
She will 90 home to her mother the
very next day! She never was SO
wronged and outraged in her whole life !
Weeps again passionately, and seeks the
camphor bottle. Young husband, all
unconscious, comes home to supper.
Iableau !--&. louis Republican.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE ID. 1878.

much baggage he has. Dear me, folks
are so uuaccountable." Comes to
another Redds:
My Dear Spriggihs-Just deposited
four hundred to your credit in the
Twelfth National. Draw on me at
sight for the balance.
Yours, b. w. K.
Turns to the prescription, reads:
j. DELAFIEDD SpRidaINs, ESQ,
No. 1895 Hash ave, City.
"Graciods me How much like Mr..
spriggins' own handwriting that is
Singular that two persons should write
so nearly alike. Let me see, Mr.. Sprig-
gius told md he. expected scme money to-
day."
Enter Spriggins-"Good afternoon,
madam"
Landlady-"Here lie postal card for
you"
sprig-"6h, yes" Breads to him
sclf) That's all right. BY the way,
madam, have you money enough in the
house to cash fifty dollar check It's
banking hours and L, just received a
telegram from Kansas City, and must GO
on the night train"
Landndy-I'll go right away and
look In my biteau drawer. 1 reckon 1
eau Accommodate you" (Landlady re.
turns with u roll of bills" y
Sprig-Here, I'll just include that
three weeks board in the check aud
make it serenity Eve Balance will be
fifty.
Laadiady counts out fifty, which
Sprlg thrusts into his vest pocket, goes
up stniis, gets his vali>c and starts TO
catch the train lor Kansas City. Lrnd
lady will discover to morrow that the
similarity between Mr.. Spriggins' hand
writing aud that on the postal card isn't
such singular circumstance, after all.
1t only cost Spriggins one cent to
raise the wind. Those postal cards are
pn inculculable convenience to the toll.
ing masses
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

Short hand writer's are able to get 700
words on postal card.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14

A New Haven factory makas wool
OUT Of old mus!:s de laine dresses.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-14
How to Get Along.

How to Get Along.
Do not stop to tell stories in business
hours.
If you have place Of business be
found there when wanted.
No man can getrich by sitting garound
stores and saloons.
Never fool in business matters.
Have order, system, regularity, liber-
ality, aud promptness.
Do not meddle with business you
know nothing Of.
Never buy an article you do not need
simply because it is cheap, and the man
sells it will take it out in trade.
Trade in money.
Strive to avoid hard words aud per.
sonalities
Do not Kick every stone in the path.
More miles can be made In day by
going steadily onward.
Pay as you go.
a man of honor respects his word and
his bond.
Aid but never beg.
Help Others when you can, but never
give what yHu cannot afford simply be.
cause it is fashionable
Learn to say no. No necessity of
shipping it out dos-fashion but say it
firmly and respectfully.
Have but few c1nflants, the ftaRer
the better. -.
Use your own brains rath ,rthan those
Of others
Learn to think and act for yourself.
Be vigiiant.
BE honest.
Keep rather ahead thau behind the
times.
Parental Acrcs-The old mans
corns
The Indian Question White man
got any rum Z"
New way to pay old ebts"-Settls
them in full
a Western Setter The sun in the
evening.
The Shortest Ship in the World
Courtship.
Why is yoGr shadow like false
friend! Because it follows you only in
sunshine
We hear great deal about labor
reform, but there seems TO bea greater
need OF reforming some Of those fellows
who don't labor.
Paul Girard, the Erenchman who
married Miss Wormley, young oolored
belle OF Washington, is now teaching
French in colored school in Washing
ton.
An Iowa Justice Of the Peace refused
to fine man for kissing girl against
her will, on the grounl that Hannah
conld have bitten him, but did not do
| it,
One of Josh Billings maxims Is
Rise early, work hard and late, aad
give nothing away, and if you dod't get
rich and so to the devil you may su: me
for damages" -
Many truth is like wolf which we
hold by the ear, afraid to let it escape
and hardly able 20 retain it; for if pro-
mulgated, it might prove injurious.
Men are what women make them"
is the singular title Of new book. II
may be true, but we have seen some
dreadtnlIy poor specimens Of the manu-.
factured article, which fact reflects badly
either upon the material or the ma.
ker.
One watch set right will do to try
many by; but, on the other hand, one
that goes wrong may be the means of
misleading whole neighborhood. And
the same may be said ofan example.
Not long ago, in the court Of appeals,
a certain lawyer, of Celtic extraetion,
while arguing with earnestuess his case,
stated point and then proceeded d--aAud
if it place the coort, if ain wrong In
this, l have another point siiat is s3ualy
conclusive"
| sx...x. r-t....
, 1873-06-19

PoRr DIscovsaY, June TO- Sailed
ship Rivere.
SAN FRANc1sco. June 12. SAILED, bark
Osmyn, Puget Sound.
SEATTLE.-Bark Scotland, Capt. A.
X. p. Glidden, arriv, June 13, Pas
sengers. F k Schwarz. Masters VIM
A. Newman and Prescott B. GIiuden,
with the following freight:
Seattle-Wm Meydenb ur, 3S pkgs
Crawford & Harrington. "A; L. S. Rus
Sell, 1000 feet redwood lumber.
Olympia Gov. Ferry, GO cases Z. S.
ordinance; T. Il. Lowe, pkg; L. a. b.
Bet!man, l; NJ. E. Haml.n, l; I. Nc
Claey, %; E. Il F.. /.
Port wnsend- G.. C. B. 16 pkgs.
Steliacooia- Gle ndenin & Miller 144
VICTORIA, June 12.--Arriv4d, Prince
Allied from San Fancisco. and Star of
Jamaica, from London. Ship Canadi-
enne. from Portland to load at Burrard
Intet, arrived in Royal Roads yesterday.
Sr. LOUIS, June 13-flenry Wing
principal proprietor and general man-
ager of Daily Times, OF this city, died
lately from ty hold, after an illness OF
10 weeks.
, 1873-06-19

prise at tne recent published accounts
in newspapers rs to his determination,
and say Mr.. Mori possesses the entire
confidence Of MS Government. He left
Marsellles on the Sth inst. tor Japan,
by way OF Suez intending to visit Vienna
on his return.
1t. is stated that conference Of Rail-
road magnates is now being held. the
result of which will likely be the form
alton of trunk line from New York to
the western terminus Of the Northern
Pacific Railroad, and eventually to San
Fsapcisco. 1t is believed that Horace
F. Clark, now President of the Union
Pacific and Lake Shore roads, will be
made President Of the Northwestern,
which will give the Vanderbilt family
control CT the line across the continent.
, 1873-06-19

The WHOLE RECKONING IN rHoRT Me
TRE.-A writer Oh the tallacy and worth
lessness of Spintuallsm makes this com
prehensive snd conclusive strong point
Out OF the millions uf seances that
have been held since 1S4S-the GATE OF
the commencement of the movement
and out of the thousands Of eminent
departed spirits that havs been Inter
viewed" there has not only not one
single piece Of information resulted
that WAS not known before, but not u
line which, had 1t been pi iofessedly Ut
tered by living person, would have
deserved the honor of print.
, 1873-06-19

FREE ExcURs1oN.--Last Saturday Capt.
E. A. Starr gave free excursion to the
citizens OF Olympia, on the North Pacific
from that city to Seattle and return. and
about $50 passengers fiom Olympia,
Steilacoom and Tacoma, availed them
selves Of the free ride. To-day the CIT
liens of Seattle are invited 10 make a
free trip to Olympia, to be returned by
the Aida tomorrow, on the same terms.
If Capt Starr goes on in this way he
will be the most popular man in the
Te-Iitory--the women will all be run
ming after him. and the boys be running
him for Congress.
, 1873-06-19

HNTHE DISTRICT COURT OF THE THIRD
4 Judicial District of the Territory of Wash
ington, holding t. rms at the City of Seattle in
and for the Counties of King, kitsap aud Sno-
homish.
N. C. Haley. Plaintiff.
of Samuel P. Warren, Charles T. W9-rsn, A.
MWinner o. s rs..i. VI Ho d, Al
bert H. Young, j. T.. Lockwood III \.
Moxam, Ceporators and Gopartners in said
Company, Defendants,
The United States OF America send Greeting
To the Puget sound Banking Company. De-
endants.
You are hereby required to appear in an ac-
tion brought against you by the above nan ed
plaintiff. in the District Court OF the Third
Judicial District of the Territory of Washington
holding terms at the city OF Seattle, in the
County of King in and for the Counties OF
King, Kitsap, wnd Snohomish, and to answer
the complaint filed therein within twenty days
jexclus. We of the day OF servlcel after the ser
vice on you of this summons, If served within
the said county Of King; or, If served ont OF
that county. but in this District. within thirty
otherwise within sixty days. or Judgment by
default will be taken against you, according to
the prayer of the complaint
The said action il brought to recover judgment
against you for the sum OF one nundred anu
twenty six dollars and three cents in gold coin.
tsI26.,3)
And you are hereby notified that if you fai
to appear and answer the said complaint as
above required the said plaintiff will take judg-
ment against you according to the prayer OF
plaintiffs complaint filed in said cause
Witness: the Hon. Orange Jacobs. Judge OF
said Court, and given under my ham and the
seal of said Court, this 3rd day OF May, A,D.
1873.
u.sl LIB. ANDREWS. Clerk.
G D. EnEKY, J. J. McGLvRA, Atiys. for plain
tiffs. -sssez-s=
A frua cor,x
, 1873-06-19

ANGELs.--A fellow called on one OF
the Slnclito denlzens recently, and
asked foe a drink OF whiskey. He was
Of course refused it. He remarked
You might be entertaining an angel
unawares. Yes, retorted our friend,
"but angels don't 80 about drinking
WHISKY on Sunday"
, 1873-06-19
Le6nL Advertisements.
Dissolution Of Co.Partnership.

VUNHE Partnership heretofore existing under
u the firm name OF Tayl r Il jackson. at
Port Blakely, is this day dissolved by mutual
consent. Thos. jackson will pay the debts and
receive and receipt for the accounts of the firm
The business will be hereafter carried on by
T. Jackson and Co. THOS JACKSON.
-fA 4nr JAMES TAYLOR.
Port Blakely, June 4, 1873. 4w.
, 1873-06-19

A Walla Walla man. whose judgement
in regard to stock is particularly good,
as he has been in the stock raising bus
lness Tor great many years, says that
in Walla Walla valley good horses, cat
tie, and mules were cheaper than in any
other Part of the United States.
, 1873-06-19

A young New Yorker has obtained
twenty-seven different card photographs
of future wives who are in store for
him obtained from as many different
sOrceresseS.