St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-03-28
Humorous.
An Irish trick - Patrick.

C;lSk.
California housewives describe soda
aS ''tllt ere stuff which vou put in
biscuits to make 'em get up and Grecian
bend themselves
An editor says his ancestors have been
iii the habit of living Il hundred years.
His opponent responds 10y saving that
that was before the introduction of capi-
tai punishment.
''.Iamcs." said il Young wife to her
husband Il few days after marriage,
You were honest enough to tell me
that the chimney smoked. but why did't
I"u tell me that y"u smoked youl>elf?"
oh. the SNOW. the beautiful SHOW
such Il huuk\ Thing. Nou know: bluing
Your nose aud chilling your toes. az
whiIllng along the street it goes. No
rilN praise. not ANY for Joe. for that
coolest of frauds. the beautiful SNOW
Am Indiana woman is angry because
hcI husband took her very best sheet to
hang himself when there WAS an old
clothes line in the cellar which was
good enough for the purpose. She says
h" always WAS cNtIaNagant. and too
Lazy I" =" int" the crllal for anything.
The Young man with presence of
mind resides in Detroit. Just aS he was
lifting his hat L" II couple of Young
ladies on Woodward Avenue. Il boy
ran sled against his legs. and the
fashionable Young man turned half IL
dozen pigeon wings and came down Oh
all t"ur>. Picking up his hat without
81 much aS Il frown. he remarked to
the Ia'iir>. Il am always subject to these
dizzy spells in winter"
From the panbury News
Flies are holding rchearSals.
y Pitt>bUIg man has invented new
tombstone. 1t is of iron cast in the
right shape. with grooves. ur rests, of
marble tablets. They can he manu-
tartuIrd at a price that will give the
poorest ot liz two or three changes OF
t"mh>t"nc> apiece.
The man who wrote to the State
Board of Agriculture to ascertain what
was hest to plant in wet land. was ia
V"rahly impressed by the answer. 1t
was "Leck>."
Friday was st. Valentine Day A
naked cupid with skewered heart
above his head. is Il tavoritc slaughter
house design. \ few vegetables thrown
i'll add to the effect.
An absent minded Danburv lady. ON
Monday. tied a hcd-quilt she had Just
washed, in a rocker in front of the stove,
and pinned her baby to the clothes
line.
The Rev Mr.. Hubbard. of the Baptist
church. gave his congregation il pretty
good setting down. sunday Every
body but the writer rot hit. 1t was an
excellent sermon, and one of the most
vigorous and pointed. of any ever
preached here.
1t takes Years of careful training to
convince boy who is taken sick op
Saturday. that there is not screw
loose Somewhere in the universe.
I'm Essex street boy made yer,
handsome snow man about seven feet
high. Saturday. and rohcd it with his
mnther'> sixty dollar Paisley shawl. He
i> >iddeSt when he sits.
Somebody of statistical turn of
mind. is troubled To account for the
great surplus of births over deaths, in
l~,2. We suppose the reason is because
1t Is cheaper. tnr a man can he born for
much less than he can be buried. And
Il penny saved Is penny earned.
y namhWy Young man. in the ardur
of his affection. promised to cherish one
of "ur youmg ladies with love that
would survive an army overcoat.
The ingenuity of woman is beyond
all earthly comprehension. \ Danbury
LADY becoming tired of bothcIing with
wood. hc>nught .cr husband to get n
Il L Il, n,
life to that fuel. but he wouldn't do it.
/ He said wood was cheaper. and he
might aS we'll he rhoppin@ it and saving
the m"mcy. Having exhausted her elo-
uucmCr without any effect She hit upon
/ Il simple dcVire. She extended her
clothes line over his chopping block
After supper he adorned himself with
hi> aX and went ont for fuel. and five
minutes Later came tearing into the
house without his hat. and with his
month half full of blood. laccratcd gums
and broken teeth. \ bright and cheer
iIl coal fire now Eliminates that home.
The crop of maple sugar promises To
he large enough to please the most
misanthropir worm that ever occupied
II hoy.
y l'ilHbulN HILL sly = ne HIS I''Itl Dl
bcggIrS diving with stockings full ut
silver. hut tie only hcggar he ever saw
had real estate in his.
\ Danhurl Young man ont of EN-
ploymcmt and health. desires to act Is
substitute for some pcusioncr of the
: war of loI2. No objections to going to
thc country.
There was fight between Danbury
and NOrwalk roostcrS in this place,
Friday. The pain every good citizen
must feel over such IL brutal display, is
somewhat modified by the fact that our
rooster licked
The worst shocked man we have seen
in some time was Il citizen who had
made the discovery. Friday. that the
ncighhor from whom he had borrowed
Il paper for the past tuuI wears had not
paid for it. He learned the facts from
tn" agent of the publisher. and he was
giicVrd. He was also indignant. lie
said 10 u~. To think that should have
been so imposed upon all my life. |
tell ynu man don't know whom to
trust in thes" times. The world is full
of corruption and deceit and deviltry -
chock fall of it
Danhury Young man who was
once :; clerk, lately went on farm to
work. The first night i'll his new posi-
tinn he was detailed to remove a calf
from the apartment of its parent to an
Other she'd, and while engaged, as thou
sands have been before him. in showing
the contrary beast along. the mother
reached under the tails of his coat with