Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1873-03-13

| is it,? For the love of heaven, tell m
let me know the worst
"Well, marm. will YOU promise no
to blame me 2" asked the doctor, grave
/, ly.
"No, no."
"Marm,' said he, with his long fac,
still more elongated, '.its my opinion
as a man and physician tha
the child has been bitten by foul
bed bugs, or else it has been bitten il
fonr places by one insect of that de
scription."
'Dr. Gray" said the father, "do vol
mean to insult us z"
"By no means, sir-I repeat it
"No you don't yelled Mrs. T.. Its
enough to insinuate that / have bed.
bugs, to say nothing of the libel on the
angel cherub. Get out Of this house
this instant, you mean. cheating cid
vagabond-' and she, seized the butter
ladle from the table where Biddie had
placed 1t full of hot pepper tea, she
few at him. The doctor knew enough
about women to realize that in flight
lay safety, and with a hasty bow he
backed off the steps and started for his
gig. The ground was inclining and
quite icy-his heels flew up, his head
went down, and his whole body shot
down the hill like steel shod cutter
Mrs. p. nothing daNnted, rushed after
him and shared the same fate. The
two brought up at the foot of the hill
in a water trough but no words OF
sympathy were exchanged. The doctor
got out as quick as he could and gal.
lopcd home and Mrs. Phillips follow
ed his example.
The baby lived and throve. As ii
grew older its dictatorship became
more and more absolute. Phillips
was down on all fours for the greatest
part of his time, that the baby might
ride on his back; and Mrs. r. left her
arms bare i'm the coolest weather, be.
cause the steel springs and her dress
sleeves hurt baby.
Baby made q complete wreck of all
the crockery in the house-pounded il
with hammer; he kicked his heels
through the looking glasses and tore
the inwards out of pas gold watch,
unmolested. 1t pleased the dreary,
weary, seary baby, his mother said
the dear little nifty sugar plummy
baby
One day when this wonderful baby
was year old, the village inhabitants
were startled by the disheveled appar-
ition of Mrs. Phillips--bare-h -headed
and wearing wild expression of
countenance--hurrying at frantic rate
to the joiner's shop, where her hus-
band worked, and instantly she reap
peared followed by Phillips at dog
trot.
Old Squire Smith saw them. and be-
ing q man who lived in constant dread
of fire, he thought it must be the resi-
dcnce Of Mr.. Phillips was in flames.
The old gentleman was perfectly in
sane OH the subject Of conflagrations.
and at the top of his lungs raised a
cry:
aFire fire! fire |"
ssWhere? where ?" cried a score OF
voices.
@Charles Phillips house, said the
old gentleman.
The firemen gathered, got out the
engine, and ran with all speed to the
fated house, but to their supreme as
tonishment they did not SO much as
smell puff OF smoke in the region.
The head fireman was something OF
a wag, knocked at the door, Mrs. Phil
lips appeared, absolutely radiant.
SIS this the house, allow me to in
quire, ma'am, that we are expected to
squirt on 2" said the fireman.
II do not understand you.r said
Mrs. p, abut the baby has walked two
steps--two steps on his own feet
alonew
"Sold, by Jupiter !rcried the fireman
"and now, boys, here's three times
three to the baby that walked two
steps. Heavy my men,
And they gave three cheers--drank
barrel of cider which Mr.. Phillips
rolled out. and returned home.