The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-04-03
The Austrian Prize Article,

NoTE. The Emperor of Austria offers prize
OF $4,000 for the best newspaper editorial, less
the Democrat proposes to Ego for it.''
The proper way to spell Austria is
"Ostreich," and from the best of our re-
collection 1t was settled by the Ostreiches
about the year 500, and has been pretty
well populated with that family down to
the present day. 1t was originally Mar
graviate, SO called from the fact that
strong-minded female of the name of Mar
garet, usurped the breeches of her lord
and master and struck out on her own
hook and made more gravy and ate. They
called the little farm upon which they
lived after that More gravy ate until the
Ostreiches came and the old couple broke
up housekeeping.
After this the Ostreiches became Hun
gary, or, in other words, Hungary be-
came the Ostreiches and they gobbled up
the rock salt in Galicia, the copper and
tin in Bohemia, Salzburg, Carinthia and
Iyrol, and everything else they could lay
their eyes on except Frederick the Great,
Napoleon, General Moltke and King Will
liam.
However. it will be our lot, as well as
pleasure to record many of the splendid
achlevements of this warlike race of birds.
1t was their General Mack who so heroi-
CALL chased with Napoleon all over Os-
treich and finally compelled the great EN-
| peror to accept an army of $4,000 men on
his pension list at Ulm. This wonderful
piece of strategy, which threw upon Bona
parte the care of so many prisoners of
war, added to his embarrassment, and
finally led to his downfall at Waterloo and
banishment to st. Helena.
And again, howev +, look at the peer
less Haynau, who, after the surrender of
that patriotic Magyar, General Gorgei,
the hungarian rebellion by executing
prisoners of war and sending their wives
and little ones into Punishment.
And again, however, let us look, if we
please, at the bold manner in which the Os-
treiches crossed the Ticino on the Goth OF
April, 1850, and also the bold manner in
which they crossed back again, bringing
the Italians with them.
The peculiar strategy employed by
these people is subject to criticism on the
part, of some military men, but the Os-
treiches can afford to bear SANDER after
| getting rid of Lombardy in such an easy
manner as they did about the time herein
mentioned.
But we must again look, and not very
far back either, to 1866, to the brilliant
war in which the Ostreiches engaged with
Prussia. Other nations of ancient and
modern times have had their wars-their
twenty years. wars, their seven years
wars and their three years. wars-but il
was left to the Ostreiches to finish up
clean their war with Prussia in six weeks
a great many have not been able even to
this day to understand how the Os.
treiches accomplished so much in so short
a space of time, and it falls to us to eX
| Nov
shal Benedek was opposed to fighting of
his own soil, and by dextrous manage
ment of his forces succeeded in inveigline
the enemy over the border. This was
done so that the gallant Ostreiches coulC
return to their homes very soon after {
treaty of peace was concluded. In thi:
movement Field Marshal Benedek wa;
entirely successful, so much so in fac
that many OstrIich got home before
peace was made, and even before the En-
peror of all the Ostreiches returned tt
Vienna.
We have scarcely time to barely men
ton that the Ostreiches are great lovers
of liberty. and "go for" liberty first, las
and all the time. Several years ago al
OStreich Governor, whose name we be
, lieIe was Gesler, was such a lover o
these things that he placed his own caI
on liberty pole, and told a base, ignoblt
tyrant, whose name was Tell, to fall dowI
and worship it; and when the tyrant re
fused what did that liberty-loving Os
treich Governor do? But Tell, the ty
rant, went into the apple business.
; These are about all the affairs that w,
know of bearing Oh Austria and the Os
treiches, exc pit that they are known t,
stick their heads in the sand and whistl
in unconcern, thinking that when tn
head is safe there is no danger in the rear
This is often eXemplified in the deser
where Ostreicnes most do dwell, and a
: Vienna, when the wicked disturb tn
peace of Europe and the peace of the Os
treiches.
This is all of this interesting article tha
will be written. 1t is less than column
in length, and will be sent to the Vienni
Exposition, where it will be read by tn
Emperor Joseph. We have ardent hope
) that it will win the $1,000; but the old h
: Ostreich may say, mot for oe.''-Ot
tum'ou (Ioaoa) Democrat.