The Van Buren press., 1873-07-29
Budget Of SciSSOringS.
A Bashful Lover

Among nany ot ms mlslOrlants, LOT
he was cock eyed. ed-haired and knock
kneed, he numbered that inconyenient
one OF bashfulness. Nevertheless he was
fond Of the ladies', although when in then
presence he never opened his mouth ~heh
he could help it. ana when he did used
both hshds to help him in fact he was
man Of great actions.
Jacobus, one warm day, fill IN love
he had Just graduated st college, and he
gan to think he must seek the ladies so
ciety, be was getting to be man and
itwas msuly to nave a "penchant
So Jack fell in love with the sweetest,
livenest, most hoydsnish girl in square :
but how to tell his love! There was tho
rub. He had heard a good deal Of" Ian
cuage OF the eyes, and he according
tried that, but when he looked psrticu
larly hard at window where Emily was
in the habit of sitting. some person on
the opposite side Of the street would in.
variably bow to him, thinking he was en-
deavoriug to catch their eyes. He has
despissd eyes ever since then.
At length Jack obtained an introduc-
ton through his sister and with her he
called several times, but she was Obliged
to leave the city for = season, and as each
interval enly increased his ardor, be de
t.rmined on going it alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit he fonnd
himself arrayed in kis best Blue coat,
metal buttons, blsck cashmere pants,
(ssid pants being little tighter than the
skin, spotless vest.
The journals Of the day state, an item
of intelligence, that the thermometer
ranged from seventy five to eighty de-
prees. Jack swears it was over hun
dred
Az the hour gradually drew near Jack
found courage and perspiration oozing
out together, and he almost determined
to pull Off and stay at home. He con
cluded, however he would take walk
past the house and see how it fot.
By the time he reached the mansion
he firmly concluded not to go in, but on
casting his eyes towards the parlor win
dow and seeing no signs, he thought 1t
possible that no one was at home, aud
and since he had proceeded so far, he
would proceed further and leave his card
No sooner determined than concluded
In reckless moment he pulled the bell :.
the darned thing needn't make such n
noise.
The door was opened as if by magic,
and the servant girl politely asked him
in; Miss Emily was alone in the parlor,
and would be delighted to sec him.
~ S. n
dark parlor with pretty girl alone! 1t
was too late to retreat; the girl had
closed the front door, and was pointing
to the parlor where Miss Emily was.
Being perfectly convinced that no
choice was left him. into the dark room
he walked or Sided All was perfect
chaos to his eyes for moment, only foi
moment then from the deepest gloom
came from an angel voice " bidding him
welcome and draw near.
10 obey the order WAS but the work OF
a moment, as he supposed, but he little
dreamt of the obstacles fate hal threwr
in ais way. lie knew full well that The
stream of life had many ripples, but ful
grown snags entered not into his head
Judge OF his astonishment on being
trpped up almost at the fair ones feet
by a fat stool with plethorc legs, whicl
chance or careless servant had placed
exsctly on the road TO happiness, Owe
he went, and rs the tailor had not allow
ed tor any extra tension Of the muscles
and sinews, he not only procured tum
bic. but also compound fracture of tn,
black pants aforesaid-said fracture eX
tending all across that point which come
ia close contact with the chair,
Having picked himself up as as care
ful as circumstances would permit, tho
smotherod laugh of Miss Emily "not set
ting him forward any" " he at length sue
ceeded in reaching chair, and drawin!
his coat tails forward to prevent dis
agreeable expose, sat himself down will
rs much grace as a bear would when re
requested to dance upon q pile OF tneedles
The young lady though almost sutro
eating with laughter at sad misfortune o
the bashful lover; felt truly sorry 70
him and used all hsr powers of fasena
ton TO drive it from his mind, and event
uallv succeeded so far a. 10 induce hin
TO make remark But on this rock h,
split.
Just al that moment she observed tha
she had lost her pocket handkerchief
What had become of it? She was SURF
she had it when he came in. 1t mus
certainly be somewhere about.
Haven't you got it under yoa, MT
Jacobus p
Jack was sure he had not, bat poo
Jack, in venturing an answer, could no
possibly get along without raising hi'
hands, o! course he must drop his Goa
tail. In his anxiety to recover the miss
ing wipe he even yen,ured to incline hi
body 50 as to get glance on the floor
As he did so the fracture opened, an,
be old there lay as she supposed, he
property.
1t was the work Of moment to catcl
the corner and exclaim:
Here it is, sir, you needn't trouble
Yourself about it. Just raise a little, IL
under you, at the same time giving i
hard pull.
Alas, the tail was told, no escape
nothing short of a special nterposltioi
Of Providence could save his shirt. Bu
what should he do2 Another and an
other, a stronger pull, evincing on tn,
part Of the lady, a praiseworthy deter
termination to obtain the lost dry goods
! s.l