Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-10-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

CAN bullet be said to resemble sheep
when it grazes?
WHO is the Oldest lunatic on record
Time out OF mind.
The largest room in the world is the
room for improvement.
WHEN is young lady like a music
book? When she is full of airs.
ERROR will slip thru a crack, while
truth will git stuck in doorway.
CANADA runs trains over wooden rail
ways at the rate of thirty-fv miles an
hour
If your uncle's sister is not your aunt,
what relation is she to you? Shes your
mother.
GOOD taste is the modesty of the mind
that Is why it cannot be either initiated or
acquired
How is it that summer always passes
so quickly? Because there is often an
evening mist.
A PRUDENT clergyman, unwilling to
accuse citizen Of lying, said he used the
truth with penurious trugality.
A JAMAICA negro defines heaven as a
place where one can lie in bed and have
his jug of rum brought to him by slave
WHEN a woman gets letter she carries
1t In her hand; but couple of pounds Of
sausages she manages 10 squeeze into her
pocket.
WELL, Robert, how much did your pig
weigh?" at didn't weigh so much as |
expected, and l always thought it
wouldn't
A sEATURTLE between four and five feet
long, and weighing 400 pounds, was
caught recently in Wye River, near
BruIf's Island, Connecticut.
AT various places on the Thames River,
England, there are visible, at low wafer,
the remains of a submerged forest, over
which the river now flows.
MANY public men consider themselves
the pillars of the State who are more
properly the caterpillars, reaching their
high positions only by crawling.
A PUPIL in one of the public schools re-
Gently revised an old saying found in his
grammar, as follows; at is better to give
than TO receive-a good licking"
OF miserly man who died of soften
ing Of the brain, a local paper said /:
His head gave way, but his hand never
did. His brain sottened, but his heart
couldn't"
THE woman who said the latest thing
out was her husband, was answered by
her neighbor who remarked that her hus-
band always came home early-betOre
any one was up.
A FooTMAN from Connemara got situ-
alton in Dublin. On entering a room
where there was vase with golden nSh,
exclaimed, well, this is the first time |
ever saw a red herring alive"
A MISSOURI clergyman was lately
called upon to marry fourteen couples in
one day, and his fees amounted to fifty
pounds of dried apples and due-bill for
eighteen bushels OF buckwheat.
A YEw TREE in Derbyshire church
yard is thought to be one of the most an
cient in England. 1t is calculated to be
1900 years old. 1t is not very high, but
its trunk is thirty-three feet in circumfer-
ence.
LAKE TAHOE, Nevada, has a curiosity.
Half a mile from shore tree stands per-
pendicular in eighty feet OF water. 1t pro-
iects above the surface, and is fastened so
firmly TO the bottom that it affords safe
moorage to the largest craft on the lake.
KNITTING NEEDLES are made in the
United States only at Lawrenceville, Pa,
where about 500 varieties are produced !;
and New Haven, Conn, is the only place
in the country where common sewing
needles are made entirely by machinery
A TOWN in Massachusetts is the proud
possessor of a cat that picks up pins and
puts them into a paper, whenever she
finds one After getting hundred, she
exchanges them for meat at the butchers
The likelihood of this tale is Its chief
beauty. One can't help believing 1t.
A GOOD lady, who on the death of her
first husband married his brother, has
portrait OF the former hanging IN her din.
ing room. One day visitor, remarklng
the painting, asked, 1T that member OF
your family?" "Oh! that's my poor
brotherin-law," was the ingenious re-
ply.
THE other day an Irisbman with very
heavy trunk got into an omnibus and sat
himself down and held the box on his
knees. The conductor wanted to take 1t
from him. But" says Paddy, sure the
poor creatures Of horses have enough to
do to drag along without that, and I'll
carry it meself"
PINE leaves are utilized in Europe as q
substitute for hair in uph 0lstery, and will
make a kind of flannel very superior for
hygeinic purposes. An ETHEREAL oil, use
fuI as a solvent and a curative, Is also
made from them, while from the refuse
valuable Illuminating gas IS made.
"HUMPHm said an Englishman to a
Scotchman, as they were walking over
the field. '.oats are all very well in their
way. but in England we feed them to our
horses, while here they are food for men,"
"Ay, ayln said the Scotchman, "and just
see what fine horses there are IN England,
and what fine men we have in Scotland. J"
DURING an earthquake the inhabitants
of village were much alarmed, but were
at the same time astonished at the calm
ness and apparent joy of an old lady
whom all knew Some one asked her If
she was not afraid no" said she, Il
rejoice TO know that | have God that
can shake the world. I"
INDIA. my boy,' said an Irish officer
TO a friend on his arrival at Calcutta, lis
the finest climate under the sun; but a
lot of Young fellows come out here, and
thev drink and they ea., and they drink
and thew die, and after that they write
home to their parents pack of lies, and
saw that it is tne climate that has killed
them"
JOHN G. SAKE sends the following to a
temperance convention:
You have heard Of 1.-The snake IN the grass, my
or the terrible snake in the grass;
But now you must know,
Nan's deadliest foe
Is q snake of different class,
Alas
It's the venemous snake in the glass.
l.. L