Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
Hams at Red Front.

Hams at Red Front.
See DR.. Jones card--Surgeor
Dentist.
Groceries crockery &c cheap 70
cash at Worden's. Butter, eggs, Mil
waukee pork by the Dbl. at $3.50.
Glover seed for sale at the Ret
Front Store by the bnshel or ID. chea,
for cash-call and see before purchas
ing elsewhere.
We looked into the ssruins'' thu
other morning and wondered where Sc
many black knots came from. Ou1
enquiries were choked off when about
four hay racks of black birds, like 3
banner of Grape waved in the air
Baked peas and roasted canary seed
Is black birds.
Two more Point papers but neve,
a line about the fire. Well wager ou,
last dollar which went in the flames
that if Northup and Swayze were sit
ing on a red hot stove, S. would say tc
N. Don't you smell something burn
ing :" and that N. would respond, "No
you blamed fl" and both for ono.
| wOul1 toll tho truth
A sprightly urchin in Centralii
recently wrenched his mothers Ions
straight glittering pin from his mother.
gorgeous buzzom pin, and attached il
to silken tassel cord and then impal
ed pet gold fish thereon, and wen
bobbing for cells through an eighteer
inch hole in the ice on the river. Now
the energetic youth is longing for gen
tie spriug because his wooden panties
rub 80 heavily on the chafed meat.
Not a thousand miles from Greer
Bay there resides a charming lad,
beautiful in face and spirit, beloved 70,
her womanl y qualities, and in her fam
lily boards crusty bachelor who can
pick flaws in the suns brightest shin.
ing. A little boy is wont to call upon
the lady, frequently, who is petted and
loved for his goodness. The other day
the little boy came in and with dea
of glee shouted
you wish you had as nice little boy
as [ am" The good woman respond
ed, ITO be sure | do Willie, I pray
every night for SO good little boy
and what do you think that crusty oil
bachelor said !! He looked cross, took
his hat and cane, and as he went GU,
the door, muttered faith without,
works is dead. the brute
&C. W. Etnaandhome of the Pat.
ton ms. Co., Fred S. Underwater of
the Ellis Co. and Mr. Phoenix Of the
Eyott Co. have been in our city the
past week adjusting the fire losses.
They are all gentlemen, and seem to
be willing to do the right thing for cur
unfortunate merchants who were 50
unfortunate as to be insured, we mean
to say, burnt out. We tell you these
! Insurance men are business. This
is the way they do tive don't mean
these men. but those other men--they
take penetrating survey Of the black
spot, look down into the ashes about a
foot, then throw the devoured building
into inches and divide by sixteen,
extract the cube root of the difference
between the multiplier and the multi
phcand, square the hypothenuse and
add to the product Of the rcctangle
triangle multiplied by seventy-two, car
ry six and add nineteen to the third
power Of the difference between thee
and thou, holler Fire !--and-"t there
your loss to fraction" as clear as mud.
All adjusters are not synonymous.
An aged bovine whose horns indi-
cate an antiquity that renders it posi-
bic that she might have had a stall in
the Ark, recently insinuated herself
through the little rear door leading in
to the basement Of the Congregational
| Church, and once in, she acted on Hor-
ace Greeley's advice, and went west til!
she succeeded in piling mp quite wad
of hair and hash timber on one Of the
sleepers, when she came to halt.
How to get out, or what she was in
there for, was the paramount question
in that cows mind for about half a day
when she discovered herself to Fred
Moore, who manned her stern oar and
steered her out
What induced the critter to 90 tc
! Church we can't conjecture. She
couldn't have been looking for the