Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-08-08
BOYS AND GIRLS.

A youth and maiden were dancing the
lancers In the course of the insane con-
ver-ation which the dance necessitates, he
took to questioning her as to heraccom plish-
ments - Do you paint ?'' he asked. lie
wonders what on earth She got mad about.
\ worthy farmer being asked if a daugh-
ter, recently married, was still living with
him, replied " No. sir When one of
my girls swarns She must hunt her own
hive"
Some Pittsburg boys made a raid on
clergyman strawberry bed, and one of them
dropped gold watch, which the minister is
uow wearing.
Some halfgrown boys in Springfield,
Mass, thought it would be pretty to ride a
little three-year-old fellow on rail, the
other day. Their experiment produced
serious rupture for the little one to remem-
ber his tormentors by through life.
\ boy in Brooklyn went into BARRIERS
shop and asked the barber to =" cut his hair
| Just as short as he could" - Did your
mother tell You to have it cut 80 short ?''
asked the barber. No" said the boy,
hut we've got Il new school ma'am that
pulls hair" The barber cut it close.
\ pretty boy in Billtown became 50 init
mate with one of his fathers horses that he
received a bad kick in the face The doe
tor sewed up his lip, bandaged his eyes, and
poulticed his cheeks. After a few days
| spent in bed, the lad called for looking
| glass. One glance was sufficient " Faith
er'' he mildly cried, '' do you think | shall
ever be a. pretty again ?'' . No, my son,
responded the Governor, - you'll never be
as pretty again. but You'll know darned
sight more" knowledge is costly in this
world. bat that which is kicked into Us Is
not apt to be the least valuable.
A grumpy. frampy old sexton in Barn
stable. Mass, took the tongue out Of the
church bell TO prevent the boys from ring
| Ing it on the Fourth Of July. We are not
sure that this was an unconstitutional pro-
ceedins we are perfectly clear that it was
/ an ill-naturel one. But no sexton ever got
| the better of thoroughbred American boys
/ vet. and the youth of Blrnstable were equal
10 the emergency They suspended fiat
| iron in the place Of the distracted tongue,
! and the pc1ple of the ancient town had
bells. bells. bells to use the language of
the late Mr. Poc) all the day long.-iri-
biuic
Cholera inantum consolation. '' noctor,
what makes me 50 sick of my stomach -
'' Only a little effort of nature. child. to
correct ITSELF e. Oh I'm 80 glad it Is ma
ture: thought it was gooseberrie>, and |
do lo,c 'cm. Thus says the Bennington
Baaner.
" Eebec,a Jones. yoa are singing through
: your no~e again, she exclaimed Niseon-
| sin music teacher, and Rehecca was 50 nor
/ titled that She ran ont and jumped into the
/ river, bat was rescued.
Daring fine starlight evening lately,
/ threc-year-od philosopher, after a silent and
/ apparently profound -crutinyot the heavens,
/ asked his mother abruptly, "Where DO the
stars come from p" Mamma replied II
/ don't know. Willie don't know where
/ the stars come from" " Well, Won bet |
DO. The moon laid EN-.
\ little lady in Schenectady recently sent
word To her aged T. in New York that she
must be excused from writing longer letter
She had spent q very restless night with IL
sick doll.
4 wrctcbcd little boy. ten years old, rag
ced and almost hlrefooted, drifting along
Detroit streets one day last week. was asked
where his father was. &c Dead" O." Where's
YOUR mother 2'' 3. Run away" Ills inter
locutor expressed sympathy, and observed
that he must feel lonesome. ' Not bit of
it there's soin' % he the biggest circus
here next month yer ever set eyes on
The -abioincl wouli be a pleasant sum
mcr amusement for the little ones Gu. a
slice of the end Of % cork run pin
through it SD that it will stand point up :.
make "a rair of dumb bells with stem Of
broom corn. with small cork knobs catch a
dv. sit him down on the sharp point of the
um. 80 that he can use all Of his hands free
Is. hand him one Of the dumb bells and say
To him, " shoulder arms. or anything else
you please Under the impression that he
can liit himself off that pin he viii 70
through all the cyolutions in the tactics,
and wind up with a " shoe fy" ascension
Of the dumb bell in true acrobatic style. 1t
won't spoil the fly bit.
\ Detroit exchange says that boys are
most provoking little animals Yesterday a
vouns man was passing up Clifford street,
and turning to look back at a young lady
who had iu~t passed him, walked into a
maple shade tree. Ills hat. new silk one
Of the stoye-pipc pattern. fell in the ditch
Ills nose a true Roman. was badly scratched.
And what annoyed him more than all was
that band of ragged urchins, that play
marbles near Elizabeth street, followed him
for two blocks shouting, e Does your moth
er know vau' re out?" " lIow's your poor
nlSe2'' - What did Yer hat coSt?' 4" Wasn't
she uretty3" And 50 on. lie walked rap
idly away, and seemed to find no pleasure in
their humor