The Portland daily press., 1873-12-18
THE PRESS.
THURSDAY MORNING. DEC. IS. 1873

THURSDAY MORNING. DEC. IS. 1873
Gossip and Gleanings.
What is rebus? A kiss repeated
One frugal cruet served them both to dine,
And served at once for vinegar and wine.
"Are you looking for any one in -particu-
lar?" as the mite sad to the microscope.
Nor fame 1 sligh.-nor for her favors call
She comes unlocked for-Qf she comes at alD.
''Im particularly uneasy on this point"
said the fly to the young gentleman who
stuck him on the end OF needle.
Why should a quill pen never be used in
inditihg secret matters? Because it is apt to
split.
TO what sound heard at the seaside, can
we liken the howls of a chained dog? The
moaning of the tide.
What words of Shakespeare will cat left
out of doors on cold night use? Poor
TOMS a-cold.
Never put off until tomorrow what can
be done, to-day" Then let's eat the re-
mander Of the plum pudding tonight
Brandy and water-Of this mixture,
Charles Lamb said, it spoiled two good
things.
Jones got trusted for that hat, and he now
feels consciousness of being in debt "over
head and ears"
Jealousy is only the art of tormentng
yourself, for fear you should be tormented by
another
The name of Louis Agassz is to be added
to the long list Of sons Of clergymen who
have become eminent.
1t is worthy of note that as mankind Ie-
come learned, they become more artful and
cunning in the commission oil crime.
The Chicago Times wants home for fallen
men established in that burg. We suggest
that they just roof the town in.
Il is woman's duty under all circumstan-
ces to look as well as her endow ments by ma
ture and the length OF her purse will admit.
&C. Thorne.
The utterer of good joke is useful mem
Der of society, but the maker of bad one is q
more despicable character than the veries
cheat in christendom.
Lamb once said to brother whist player,
Martin Burney, whose bands were none oil
the cleanest, ''Martin if dirt was trumps
what hand you'd have
If one could only make the. sacrifice all at
once, and done with it, then it would seem
easier, but to keep up a daily sacrifice of ones
| wishes, tastes, and pleasures, is rather hard
| task.-L. NJ. Alcott.
| A lady called on witty friend who was
not at home. and finding the piano dusty,
wrote upon it 'slattern.' The next day they
met, and the lady said, Il call-d on you yes
terday.' Yes saw your card on the piano
A lady wished to have her husbands lift
| insured in Boston Office the other day
| giving as reason that she wanted either q
husband or some money, she did not car,
much which. She never expected both a
the same time.
"Who dares to spit tobacco-juice on thi:
car-foorP' savagely asked burly passenger
on the Mobile train, 81 dare" quietly repli
ed a slender youth. "and did it, "You'r re
the chap I'm looking for" said the ruffian
"giveme achaw."
( The friends Of wit expressed some sur
prise that, with his age and fondness for tht
bottle, he should have thought it wortf
while to marry. ga wife was necessary
he said; "they began to say of me that
drank too much for single man,
There is nothing that will so disarm ant
depress certain sensitive natures as con
scious inferiority OF dress. Until degre,
of familiarity with the world has been acquir
ed, or a man has learned that he has recog
nized place in it, his dless either hplds himul
| in his own selfrespect, or compels him int
| abject self-cOntempt.-JG q. HOllqdd