The Volcano lubricator. (Volcano, W. Va.) 1871-1879, 1873-11-11
That Hoops
ton.

From the Darbury News.
We Had visitor Saturday after
noon. lie was 4 square built, heavy
man. When he came in he took SCAT
opposite us and after preliminary
examination OF our features, PrcPcund-
ed the following singular but rather i'm
portant question; Did you ever hear
tell of woman leaving 4 hoop-skirt
on the foo. in front Of the bed?' We
thought over the subject for 4 moment
so not to seem hasty in our Judgment,
and briefly minated that VIC had not
any knowledge Of this popularity oil!
the sex. well, nor l either till last
night" said he, "And so YOU did
hear of it last night" VIC aSLcd Il ray.
Their think l did, rayther ,hink l did
he repeated, Then he pulled up his
pantaloon leg. disclosing a ShInbone
that looked as if it had passed the
night in a smoke. house fighting tlics
and bruiSc ut the top that must have,
called forth the liveliest expressions,
Of wrath when received. "Do YOU see
thatm he asked. As we we're looking
directly at it their vas 4 possibility
that We saw it and we answered in the
affirmative. "Well, Young man, he
explained, Ave got another one like
that on my back and lump on the top
ofmy head and the gol darndest shak-
ing up generally YOU ever saw" lie
paused moment 10 readjust his pan
taloon leg. and then continued: "I on
sec | was taken little bal in the night
with 4 pain in my stomach l had
been over to the fair, and must have
eat something that didn't agree with
me. ! C9esS it was about three clock
in the morning VIXEN | begun 10 feel
the gripin'. tn ought At first I'd lay
still, and it might pass over: but 1t kept
Citing worse, and finally got up to
look for the camfre. 1t was darker
than bazcs, IA favoritc and pertinent
smile with the masseS.-Ed.,l an |
had to hitch round kinder carefully for
4 match. lexpcct / got on the wrong
side of the bed in the dark, for the first
thing I knowed enc Of M feet catched
in something, and kinder pitched me
ahead, then the other foot catched and
pulled me up again, an then both
legs got tangled up i'll tic Internal
hoops Tor it was the old woman's hoop
skirt an some Of the ribs got atween
my toes, and smartcd like thunder. an
when undertook 70 move one way
it would pull me back another, and f.
narly il got catchcd on TO cheer, an
suddenly went OYER to wumst, the cheer
too an | struck nv arm across the
foot-board of the bed an liked to have
wrenched my shoulder or an that
threw me to one side, kinder and l
come plump with the top Of my head
again the mantle and just made every
timber in that house shake rs If thun-
der.bolt had struck it. It's 4 grcal
wonder it hadn't killed me as it was it
set the old woman to scrcamin like 4
stuck pig an for two or three minutes
it made me dreadful sick an diSsatlsh-
ed. You can bet that when | got on
nv feet | made short work Of that
hoop skirt. 1t amt hardly worth
mention in the paper ! don't suppose
but l thought it might be a good think
to lust warn the woman against lea.
YIN, hoop-skirts on the floor at night,
an putting peoples lives in danger
YOU know" Here he stopped, and lean
ing back in his chair with 4 sign Of
relief from an oppressive duty per-
formed, eyed us for i moment with
and rather uncal!cd for
anxiety. Then rising and replacing
his hat with another sign, ask us if we
had engaged our potatoes for tho win
ter, and finding that we had, and
there was no probability within the
scope of earthly comprehension that
we should need any pot-cheese, he
sighed once more and took his leave.