Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-11
Flies.

FLIES! Considered individually, the
subject is small, but it is very numerous.
In fact, of all small creatures not abso-
lutely vicious, the common fly is the
most veXatious. Mosquitoes bite. They
must to get a living. Bees sting-to de
fend themselves Cockroaches run away
when you attack them they are afraid.
But flies nibble upon you in an aggravat-
ing manner, never get enough, and moth
ing will drive them away. They return
with fierce persistency after cruel and
constant rebuffs You commence TO read
your newspaper in a comfortable arm
chair, or to write for the sake of friend
ship, fame or daily bread, at your desk.
In the middle of the first sentence soft
footsteps begin to tickle the top of your
left ear. You shake your head emphati-
cally, without lifting your pen. The in
truder flies OIL a few inches, and realights
on the back of your neck. Another
shake, and again he settles on the top of
your head, and begins to promenade up
and down the parting of your hair. You
give your head a vigorous slap, never by
any chance hitting the fly. He is equally
content TO crawl over your forehead; and
you meekly brush him away, hoping that
gentle measures may prove etfectual. He
tries your right ear, and with calm reso-
luton You wave him away. The creature
sees his advantage, and audaciously
alights on your nose. Resolving 70 keep
your temper, you think you will let him
take his own time to leave, hoping it will
be soon and forever. He pecks with gen
tie but restless persistence, and you write
vigorously, resolute not to be disturbed
by tritles. Suddenly down goes your
Il Il ll,+ IL, 81,
sheet, and you employ both hands
in giving your nasal organ good rub
bling. Patience, as in a moment, is ex-
plan it acknowledgements in the first
degree. You lean back in your chair and
set yourself as a trap. The bait is good
the expected victim approaches; you wait
breathlessly; your hand falls with a blow
that makes your cheeks Jingle; but you
look up to see him securely fluttering
above your head, ready to try again. You
will be more cautious and give your mind
to the business. You take your handker-
chief, double it judiciOusly, and hold it
ready to descend with swift vengeance.
The fellow is on your left hand Such a
little creature to disturb your equanimity
Slowly, slowly, and you will get him.
With sudden and tremendous force you
pounce upon him-and he sails away I'M
harmed. You feel most uncomtortably
irritated-conquered by an insignificant
fly. And you reflect (while brushing
away the swarm which by this time, at
tracted by the confusion you have made,
have come to see what is the matter) upon
posons, medicated tiy-papers, and all the
cunning devices advertised for enticing
flies into the house with malicious intent
Shall you provide the neighborhood (ot
f1ies) with deadly food or submit to be
nibbled alive? That is the question
And you fall into a mental discussion
concerning the comparative annoyance OF
dead and of living flies, in the midst OF
which you drop into a comfortable doze
except for the audacious return of the
identical fly you have been fighting, which
lights on the tip of your nose, and you
awake, feeling absolutely cross.-Hape,'s
Bdzdr.