The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-10-03
FRESH lIILK.

A DAHBUaV MN DETERMINED TO HAVE
IT-Low HE GOT IT.
The man across the way who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his. own garden
through the summer, has bought COW.
His wife told him how nice 1t would be 10
have COW on the premises, SO rs to have
fresh milk and pure every day, and always
in time. and always IN abundance. Then
they would make butter themselves, and
not eat the rank stuff out of the store.
She told him there was enough stulf from
the garden and table to almost keep the
COW, and the product would be just about
so much clear gain. He Ggured it up him
self with pencil and tire result surprised
him. He wondered why he had not kept
a COW before, and inwardly condemned
himself fol the loss he had been infilctlng
upon himself. Then he bought a COW.
On the evening of its arrival he went out
TO milk it. But the animal was excited 10y
the strange surroundings, and stepped on
our friend and kicked over his pail, and
nearly knocked one of his eyes out with
her tail lie worked at the experiment
for nearly an hour, but without any Sic
cess. Then his wife came out to give ad-
vice, and his son came ont to see the fun.
The COW put one Of her heels through the
voman's dress, and knocked the boy down
in the mud, which ended their inter
est in the matter. One Of the neigh
bors MIXED the animal that night, and
came around the next morning and showed
The man how to do It. The third day the
cow escaped the surveillance Of the boy
who was left To watch her, and when the
man came home at night she was nowhere
to be found. The boy had also disappear
ed, and our neighbor found he was obliged
to hunt her up before supper. He walked
around for d while, and then returned
home, but the animal had not been seen
Then he went off again and made very
thorough search, and about ten o'clock
that night he Came back with the COW, his
clothes begrimmed with perspiration and
dust, and his face flushed and scratched.
lie wanted to kick the animals ribs in,
but realizing that such a course would re
suit in pecuniary damage, he changed his
mind. The boy wishes he had obeycd the
first impulse. On the fourth day they
chumed, so to have fresh butter for the
table. The mother took hold of the dash
CT first, because she said she used to do it
when a ghl, and liked no better sport
She pounded away until she caught a cricS
in the back that doubled her up like a
knife, and then she put the heir to it. He
had been standing around eagerly waiting
for chance, and gIumbling because lie
didn't get it, and when the dasher was
placed i'll his hands lie was so happy he
could hardly contain himself. He pumped
away for an hour at it ; then lie said if he
had 20 do it any more he would run away
and be a robbcr At noon the man came
home and learned the situation. He was
a little disgustCd at the ''tom-foOlcry," as
he called it, and took hold of the cliUrn
himself, and made 1t bounce for a while
Then his stomach commenced to fail IL,
and his spine to unjoint, and his shoulders
to loosen. He stopped and wiped eff the
perspiration, and looked around with "a
melancholy cast to his features, and went
at it again The butter did not come,
however, but everything in the way Of Or
atorical effect did. He got so dreadfully
excited that his wife, smelling strongly Of
camphor, took the dasher away from him
and went to work herself. At this the son
put his cap under his jacket, and mira.u-
lousy disappeared. Later in the day the
milk was poured around the grape vine.
On the fifth day the COW knocked down
a length Of fence TO the next lot, and ate
all-thc oranges from tree that stood in n
tub, and when tue people attempted to
drive her out, she carried away new ivy
ON her horns, knocked down valuable
vase of flowers, and capped the clima.l by
stumbling over box Of nIosSes and falling
on a pile Of dollhouse frames. On the sixth
day our ucighbor sold his COW to a butcher,
and now eats strong butter which comes
from the stoIe.-DaH5Ury Nel0s.