The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-04-04
sc1ssoRrNes.


dress washerwoman.
Sleeveless kid vests are the latest
novelty in ladies' dress.
Irish poplins are greatly in favor
among New York ladies.
Why didn't Congress raise the
salary of the Treasury girls, too?
The most gallant man ever heard
of is one who refrained from kicking
dog that had bitten him, because it
was female dog. " If it wasn't for
your sex" said he. "I'd kick your
head off
Sowing to the peculiar arrange
ment of the programme. no piece
can be repeated" was the answer
Mr.. White received from his land
lady upon asking for a secoud piece
of pie at dinner.
Mr.. Gladstone, in reply to the
latest question put to him on the
subject of the Fenicn prisoners in
Ireland, states that only twenty-one
are new in custody, of whom seven
teen are soldiers.
A sweet little boy, only eight years
old-bless his little heart-walked
into the scene of q teachers exami-
nation at Oswego last week, and
bawled out, "Annie, your feller is
down in the houser'
A Milwaukee lady had several hun
dred dollars worth of point lace
clipped off her clothing by an adroit
thief while she was at church singing
"Strip me of my robes of pride;
clothe me in humility"
A Spanish gentleman frequents the
Paris Bouleyards in thin alpaca
clothes and straw hat. He is earning
bet of $4,000 francs to dress in
that way all winter. He is lucky not
to have undertaken it in Canada.
A young lady at an Ohio camp
meeting asked for the prayers of the
assembly because she could not set
her eyes upon certain young man in
her neighborhood without feeling as
though she must hug him to death.
Negroes in Indiana are calling in
dignation meetings and demanding
the repeal of the law under which
one of their color has been sent to
prison for marrying a white woman.
1t is only matter of taste after all.
Infant Prodigy.-Why is your hair
so gray, mamma? Mamma.-Well,
because you're such a naughty child
sometimes. Infant Prodigy.-What
a naughty child you must have been
Poor grandma's hair is quite white j
A San Francisco widow keeps the
skull of her deceased husband in q
glass case. She once remarked to q
friend who was viewing the remains:
-"Alasl how often have / banged
these bones with broomstick. am
sorry for it now %
A new Western leading literary
star is described as tall. pale-faced
young man, with wandering eyes, a
graceful figure, deep bass voice,
and the polish of a gentleman. For
a Western crayon picture this is
pretty well drawn.
t'Aiay I leave few tracts?" asked
a medical missionary of a lady who
responded to his knock. t'Leave
some tracks? Certainly you may, !"
said she, looking at him most benignly
over her specks, ''leave them with the
heel toward the house, if you please" :"
Mr.. Charles Town Fowler, Lon
don reporter who died lately, had
given his attention during thirty
years singly to the writing of ac-
counts of fires. He pursued his pc
culiar line of reporting with so much
earnestness that, it is said, he liter
ally lived upon fire engine.
Kettle-drum parties are becoming
fashionable in Washington. They
are of English origin, and imply an
entertainment where bread and butter
and tea are the only refreshments
offered.
Oswego colored conversation: "I
say, Baz, where do dat comet rise
at?'' 1T rise in de forty-six merid-
ian ob de frigid zadiac, and laid
down in the comic almanac.
N0Il, where QOeS II SET, DaZ.
'Set, you black fooll It doesn't set
nowhere. When it gets tired of shin
ing it goes into its hole"
A German preacher near Dayton,
who objects TO his congregation
chewing tobacco in church, requested
them to leave their "cuds out of
doors on a fat rail, in fence corner,
under the steps-anywhere, for there
would be no danger of the birds,
geese, hogs, or anything eating it or
carrying it away"
As DR.. John Cumming was lately
about to begin a lecture on "The
Pope and His Work in England"
at Folkestone, he was given a tele-
gram from London announcing the
death of the Holy Father. The
lecture was cosequently s'toned
down, but when the lecturer dis
covered the hoax his indignation
reached high pitch.