Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-04
BUR6LARKIN DANBURY.
MIR. Lun W IL ker Has u Lively Turn
Consequence.

From the Dsnbury News.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lunwicker, of South
Main street, burn gas in their bedroom
AL night. . It is sort of company for
them, besides being q convenience in
case anything should; happen. .c One
midnight, last week, Mrs, ,Lunyicker
awoke and discovered that =, the
room was shrouded in darkness, and
thought She detected q noi6e!. she i'm.
mediateiy dfotsed Mr.. Lunwickef. Half
awake, that: unfortunate man jumped
out, of. bed in absence, Of any .set:.
tled plan of action, aud ran agai1at an
open bureau drawer, and screamed
=" murder" Then he lighted the gas,
and revealed to the astonfshed paze of
both an open btireau ana J1is6fd fdlefed-
oontents. Mrs. Luhwiokerkspf6nS cut
of lied iat this sight, and dashsd .lner-
.vQnsly TO, tue place where she kept her
watch and chain. They were gone.
She1 ,s'I3e1 'IdreW,1 uR her mouth inst aa q.
to whistle and knows aBheo cas#t;
doveai headlong5 ii16D.a the sIec1bta-
'ele sse he4siswe3tt. sDiatolksthaarSlao
waaaesae. !Tessi6ed by hsrilbsissaahe,
fe1aa@ed !" SaraAAsn. 1Sarah - ! 4aung.
tlasdy eogein ,Hisltlng the family, Al the
q s9und ! Qt the name Mi. ,Lunwicker, be-
eame suddenly aware that d duo defer
'enee for 'Sarah's society demanded
more attention to his wardrobe than he
had yet been able to give it, and
dashed around the room for, HIS pants,
rayepously scratching bpth of, his hips
with his hands. inst az a man
always does when he iy bare
legged and excited. just ashe secured
the pants and made q hopeless
effort to shove one leg into them.
Sarah was heard at the door,, "Come
in, shouted Mrs. 4unwicker:l; ."'What
are go9 DOING you, crazy woman9"
hissed Iunwicker, as his foot caught
in the lining md refused to bulge an
inch further, and he pounded around
on one leg, and madly endeavored to
extricate himself from a dreadful
dilemma. Then Sarah's voice was
heard asking that the door be unlocked,
and Mrs. Lunwicker, crazed by her
loss, and unheedlng the ter
rified expression of Mr.. Lunwick-
er's face, darted to the
door. keep away, keep away"
screamed Mr.. Lunwicker. in half SUD-
pressed voice, as the awful atroc1ty of
bis wife's action flashed upon him.
But her hand was on the key, and see-
ing that she was determined to let
Sarah in, he attempted to throw him
self against the door and prevent her,
but tripped on the pantaloon legs and
came down on the floor on his back,
and as the only resort, rolled
under the bed. Then the door opened
and Sarah came in, and Mrs. Lun-
wicker burst into tears and sobbed out
an account of her loss, while the mis-
erable man lay under the bed perspir-
ing at every pore, and hysterlcally
striving to get his legs into his pants.
Where's John 7" said Sarah, with q
dreadful look of Innocence; j" is he
otter the burglars9" A groan came
from under the bed. Mrs. Lunwicker
dropped down on her hands and knees,
and stared under there. "Here he is,
Sarah," she said, perfectly obliviors to
the facial contortion Mr. Lunwicker was
making to intimidate her into silence.
"O4, Sarah," said she with fresh
outbutst of grief, lido come here and
tell him he ought to go after the burg
lars" At this awful proposition from
his wife, Mr.. Lunwicker, who was
now firmly convinced. that she had
irretatively and forever lost her reason,
passionately shrieked,. "Go away, you
mad woman, clear out both of you, or
will come right out there in my bare
legs" At this threat Sarah screamed
and ran, and Mrs. Luuwlcker,
not knowing what else to do,
ran after her. Then the miserable
man crawled out from his concealment
and pulled ON. his pants, and was
tucking in the night shirt, when his
and said, 70, John, it Was Sarah. >
What's that3" said Mr.. 'Lunwicker,
staring with frigb tful vehemance 1t his
WIFE,: 1F'1t was Sarah that did il. It's
one :of her. jokes. q. q, Siam John.
! 8 :"'X1es,'n 9aid Mrs. 4nnKickah "tshe
Just did if tor sport: % ~ Darn Sarah, p
to pick the fsethers md I'd bits' 81 ouried
wool from his hair 'Et'!' = u - n