The Huntington argus. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1872-1905, 1873-08-02
CHOIERAI
Latest Dispatch from MIX TOWN,
A WHOLE FAMILY
CANNOT
DIE FROM EXITING
Western Reserre Butter

unless sum darned skanp puts piIin in it. We,
the under sined, beg pardun for kallin ure
Htten'hun to over b1nes in so nGektin and
ahectionate mannur, but over dere kustumurs
and simputhisin Rkwantenses, we want u to
konsidur that billions and thousand Of hun
drods of milluns ov over bretberen and fellow
kuntry men are bein eoDstuotly anil repetedly
karried to n untimlsy and reporsefull grave by
kollery and kroup, and awlso mite 60 so fur
Hs to rekount msny uthor ware in which luvly
uihe and ripuned old age, pukered and awI
dried'nP, mir awlsO haired spontaneously and
nn"illrngly to THAR little last Resin phase t.
kun no more out furevcr from their little dark
bacemunt room, two be sicks, on akount oy
eatin poor butter. and kounterict growsarics.
mite alssw menshun whiskey and sum uthur
kinds ov drink which in sumtimes kalled Iii
uthur names such as .-p. k,rro,o-cine, yIiaey;ae.
and nanny utber names which the productive
mind oy satun suggests to poor siEned defled
and reformed men aud little boyze, bi which
they kan understand each luther and git what
they want while tho good templurs air a sneak
ing around to wach un. all those things bay.
hesltha tenduncy to make undertakurs rich
and to establish marble works in every town in
over luvly kuntry. weep'n friends stand
snfvilin around the graves of dear lived unes
and Pillurs ov polished marbul rize their he'd.
and pint up az monumunt to the memory ov
unprinsipulled and dishonest growsary men
and sayloon kecpurs. no, not to their memory
did mean, but stand Witnesses agains um.
now we liant got no sAyloon an may think
but darned little principu or honesty ethur
now we kant kOnyinse u IN minnit, but if u will
awi KUN to over store third avenue bet 9Th
and 10th SITS, which on akount Of keepin
northern ohio butter is kalIed the Buckeve
store, we viii konvinse u that we don't need no
karricter nor principal ethur as long M We
keep the largest stock and the best
goods in over line ever kollected in north
ameriky, ami sci UNI choapur than any man on
erth can make uui. sa when We kan konvinse
Ian we kan do it) Of these facts il don't maL Z
no diEerunse to II whether were got no keric-
ter or not. now ant goin to mention evry
darned thing we've got in over stor. beause 7
kouldent do it in whole newspaper. if their
Is any thing on earth u want in over line n
kan have it every time by kallin at over
shebang, but now if you value ure pese in
this world aud swap urc chanses for happine..
in the one to kun for little filthy luker. don't
fail to kali and sea over re.iern re.uype 6ni,er'
II IL made from the sweetest read and white
klovur, distilled thru read and white hiefers
and manufactured on purpis for us. it is put
up in patent packings that will keep it sweet
as skule marin for thousand years. WHY.
] -. 4
from old Lake Erie aw around over sto-,
every time we oPun package.
If nwl will unite with US in this crate and
good work ov bringing about n moruI RETURN
alton in butter catin an traffic Of spuriou.
growsarys an likwise rum, which, when turned
down II fellers throat, be instrumental ia cauzip
him 10 sea blue devils, and imaginashun paint
snakes crawlin ia bis pants. we viii never offer
II nothin but gennine artikiIls that will give IL
perfect satisfaction an happiness around ure
friends thru ages to KUN, and be ures affect
ingly furever. HARPER IL WERR.