Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1873-04-10
of the Patent Office
The Inventive Genius of the
County.

tuele iS d iuulcrouS element in many of
the patents, and more of the applica-
tions, which is we'll worth inyestiga-
tion. We extract from the records of
the Patent Office an account of some of
these that show more genius than
common sense, and have produced
more laughter than profit.
In 1870 the owner of some bee hives.
irritated by the loss of his honey bv
the bee moth, asked for patent for
combined hen roost and bee hive. He
had noticed that the bee moth travels
at night, while the busy bee works by
day. His desire, therefore, was for
device that should admit the worker
by day and keep out the thief by night.
TfuS his ingenuity effected the erec-
ton OF a hen roost pivoted upon bee
hive, provided with gates. The bees
were expected to be in their hives iustI
before dark; the hens, lighting on their
rooSts, were then to close the gates of
the hive and keep them shut all night.
The early rising of the hens would au-
tomatically open the gates again, and
return the bees-their honey all safe
to the airs of heaven and the flowers of
the earth. He received the patent.
Another applicant asked for a patent
right for an artificial moon, that should
light each town that used it without
expense. His eye had often been struck
by the reflection of the distant win
dows at sunset, and how far light trav-
eled. He therefore proposed balloon
for each town, sufficiently large to raise
huge reflector, that was to be hoisted
every evening at dusk (about the time
the hens bad shut in the bees.) The
reflection of the suns rays cast down
ward upon the village was sure to light
it through all the darkness of the night.
Fortunately for himself, this inventor
presented his application through a
patent attorney, who told him it was
doubtful if it could be obtained.
In the fall of 1872 a gentleman, prob
ably from California, applied for and
received a patent for building houses on
wheels or rollers, so that, in case of
earthquakes, they might roll forward
or backward, and not be shaken to
pieces.
Another gentleman applied for pat
ent for heating canals by steam, so that
boating could go on in the winter as
we'll as in the summer. The officer de-
cided that this invention was worthy
of protection, and gave him his patent.
Another applied for combination of
clock and bed, so ingeniouly contrived
that when the clock struck the bottom
of the bed dropped out. He claimed
that this plan would probably awaken
the sleepers.
Speaking of combinations, he must
have come from Missouri or Kansas
who asked for patent for a combina-
uOn of cannon and plow. For this pur-
pose he filed three applications, ma
king the elongated handles hollow, so
rs to form two cannon. These were to
be kept loaded till the guerrillas were
after him. the cannon were then to be
fired, the guerrillas shot down, and the
farmer to go on his way rejoicing.
Only three years have passed away
since very ingenious gentleman from
the rural districts applied for a patent
to prevent cows from switching their
tails. He presented two models-one
shaped like bottle, around the end of
which the cows tail was to be curled;
the other was square block, with the
hole through the center, wherein the
tail was to be put and tied in knot, so
that the animal could not withdraw it.
On the presentation of the applica-
ton, the official examiner thought it
could not be granted because of a
similar device in "Don Quixote,"
where Sancho Panza, trying to sleep
in hay loft, was kept awake Dy the
braying of his donkey below. His
wakefulness gave Sancho time to reflect
that when riding the donkey, the ami
NAL always switched his tail when he
brayed. Descending hastily from the
hay loft, the Squire tied block to the
donkey's tail to prevent him from
braying. But as this device originated
with Spaniar6, and had never been
repeated in this country, the Office de-
cided to grant the patent. Our read
ers, will, therefore, remember that they
cannot tie a cows tail to prevent its
switching without a payment of royal
ty to the owner Of this privilege.
And he too, must have come from
the borders who asks for patent COM
bination of trunk and house. The
trunk was made with triple sides NOV
ing up and down. Doing duty all day
in guarding clothes, when night comes
on, and no cabin near, the goods were
to be taken out, the triple walls eleva-
ted into one, and the benighted travel
er safely housed.
| Another asked for patent Tor thel
invention of the generation of steam,
| by boring a hole into the ground until
he reached the waters that are boiled
by the eternal fires of earth. He set
forth among the advantages of his plan
that there would be no danger of ex-
plosion, no expense for fuel, no neces-
sity for engineers, .all of which state
ments are undoubtedly true.
1t must have been a relative of this
last gentleman, and one equally well
acquainted with the laws that govern
the hidden heart of this iplanet, who
applied for patent for the PURPOSES of