The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1873-08-08
RllMOROVS.

patients WHO IL these ch,.lera times
feel "upsi,le down" to rectiS that
condition by standing on their
heads for a Minute at a time thrice
. dav Which is a simple way
10 "heel up" their d..acalty.
A little boy in Dover refusing to
take a pill, his mother placed IL in
= preserved pear al'l gave it to
him. IN a Few miiMtes she said:
"Tom, lave you eaten the, pear?
He raid, "les, mother, all but the
see1."
Tie following is q 'rne copy Of a
letter received lv Scioomaster in
New Jersey: Sur. " yon are = man
OF noledgp | intend to enter my son
in your skull"
The editor of the Fredericksburg
(Va) News was a'ke'i hy stranger
"if it was possible that little town
KEEP: up t,ur newspapers" and the
reply wa. "No it takes four
newspapers to keep up the town."
A Dahaury boy Of ten winters
stole a isImuiifcs to sertlade his
girl with. AID Wa seudng thunder
and lightnlHg thruIg it when
overtanlel by his iatl'er and the
owner. lie SayS there are places
where a ponltjce won't take hold
worth a celt
A young man living near Detroit
inquired ut tie clty officials if they
were going 10 &c ,4brare the Fourth
Of July. Because" laid he, "it
you are going to sing lswder and
have q whmpii 9 Old time, | want
to get a red We. len shirt and .
pair nt new boots AID come i'll with
Sarah"
Sandwich, N. H., still retains,
in The midst II luyur:ant foliage
and blommiaS holeysuck es, snow
drift 80 deep it delits actual me's-
urement, a,i they can ouly "con-
lecture" about l.aIt' Of it.
Young man spare lint hustle!
Tolhh nor eins'r "pape;"
The wnn3a's had tu.'le
Toget herself ia shspe.
At the dep,t an eager looking
man jumped from the train aid
clasped wsitug woman i'll his
arms. "IIea ye.,S. my wi'e!" said
be. "NIerey my raiiies!" said she.
Which shaved what both were
thinking ot.
"Iy'e got new pair OF boots"
said A. to r., putting one forward
as q sample, "a handsome fit, oh.
I bought them u wear in genteei
society" "I'hey will tie likely to
last yon a LIFETIME them" rejoined
B., "aud he worth something to
your heir,."
An old negro stretched upon a
board alA slumhrIts, with his
feet pointing to giimmering fire,
opens o,ie eye aud gets glimpse Of
them as tlley Stand in the obNnrity.
Mistakes them for two little mig
gers and cries: ";it fun FIRE me"'
and relap es into sleep. After a
while oleas tie other eye, aud still
seeing the iotrnaers, says; "Git
fun fore me, ! say! | kick you in
de fire it yon dot't-I will, shuah!"
and again he stores. His dreams
not being pleasant he soon opens
his eyes, a 4 still seeing the little
pests, he draws up his to"t for the
Threatened kick, bnt is alarmed to
see the e,emy advaice upon him: !:
"Wbawar you comin' to now?"
Ho, my own two feet, shuah"
Some mi>tresseS are 80 fsGlt-fnd.
ing that really there is no living
with them. Tie slightest tribe
makes them flare up and take on.
Herei now is girl at r'edalia (Mo1
losing her place tor what? Simply
for strainils toar gallons Of crab
apple jelly through an eighteen
dollar veil.
A Chicago editor, upon learning
that New York sewing women only
get four cents ior making pair Of
pants. wnte a lalt-cJlumn editorial
on the meauuess Of men, and
offered to pay five cents rather than
TO see tile women suffer.
"Dotor, what do you think i
the matter with my little boy"