The Lincoln County herald., 1873-04-23
.CaDitalD numor,

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Among the political literature issued
by our paternal government not the least
interesting is that which reaches US
under the title of "Contingent expenses
Of the House made by that accom-
plished clerk, Edward Mcpherson. and q
like document issued by that festive
Californian, Governor G. z. Gorham, who
signs himself Secretary of the Senate.
One never can know the wants OF Solon
until those documents are fairly studied.
When the Hon. Lycurgus Leatherlungs
for example. is returned by his coufling
constituents to Congress or the Hon.
Hamilton Straw is made Senator through
the success of his party and liberal cx
penditure of money, the wife Of his
bosom, Mrs. Leatherlungs or Mrs Sena
tor Straw, or the nearest friends Of
either great func;ionary-would probably
labor under the 3elusion that on a sheet
Of commercial note the necessary wants Of
either lawnaker could be estimated and
} considered satisfactory. A perusal of
these two documents proves, to the amaze
ncnt of such deuded mortals. that such
! grave legislator is transmitted to a most
extraordinary creature, and with the new
phase Of life appears most extraordinary
demands. Now, who, for example,
would surmse that each statesman was
to be provided with q spittoon? We
) know that such guardian Of our constitu
Q tonal rights chews tobacco. The Amer.
lean political intellect demands. We know,
e the soothing stimulant Of this weed.
But did the widest Imagination ever
] suppose that each Congressman must be
supplied with a spittoon? Yet such is
the fact. What fearful amount of ex
d pectoration there must be 1t is really
dscouragiug. There must be such an
{ excess.
This spittoon item is only ono out Of a
0 hundred that We shall reach directly
While treating of it we also remark that
the spittoon seems to be such a perisha
= bic article. Every session of Congress
demands a fresh supply, and always of
n the same number. 1t is not q very ex-
}, travagant estimate in the way of dollars
y and cents, but as 1t is an item OF continu-
J, Gus expenditure, would it not be we'll to
d have a standing committee, to be called
J, the Committee on Spittoons, established
IS to regulate the affair? In the Senate,
our great Mi,higander, the war Senator,
Il could select from among the leaders the
e man who, having served more than one
e term, would have the most experience
and does or docs not expect to rate as o
At gentleman. The practical economy Of
% our free government could then be illus
IS trated by each honorable member appear
1t ing abroad with the portable spittoor
hung about his neck. AS each carrie.
y his tobacco box why not his spittoon
At through the use of which in cars auG
Is about hotels and at private houses ht
a could save the carpets Of friends and the
dresses of women? We know that you
,e experienced tobacco chewers can expec
torate with the accuracy of rife sho
ne across room into the bars Of CRATE
of but tue fears Of nervous people tha
nc there may be random shot at time
,g would be taken into account. We knew
OF once, for example, when the late William
Polk, brother of the President aud ex
Il Minister to Naples, was firing at dis
" tant CRATE with Ned pickerson, a grea
in dandy at the time, sitting alarmiugl.
near the line of practice. Ned could no
es resist the impulse of drawing back at earl
IN explosion. Polk, observing this, pause'
in the exercise and said solemnly:
he N"Young man, don't do that. If 20,
he dodge you're lost"
&c But this takes US from our subject.
ly We ind, on examining these report.
I'd tina. tho House of Representatives, be
tween December S, 1871, aud june sc
as 1872, had 173 hair brushes at q cost Q
,is 1921 10, and 228 combs at cost @
he S2l6 so. Now, why the House shoul
need such quantity of hair brushes nm
az combs bothers the will aud confound
ur the understanding. Looking down fror
"a. the reporters gallery uptn these Assem-
bled beetles, one is struck with the mum
I'D ber Of heads that, rising above the timbe
belt, exhibit bald knobs upon which
comb or brush would not only be useless
NJ. but agonizing. Then why such tire
I'm mendous demand for combs and brushes
of And about this amount appears in ever
st. report Of contingent expenses. Ever
n session calls for fresh supply Of CONT
mt and brushes. No comb can be con
Ii. structed that will last through two sss
%. sions of the same Congress. Nor can
Mt. brush be made that will stand the we'
vel and tear of q bald-beaded Solon owe
ng ninety days. Does this come Of frant
,r effort to get the little hair at the has
OO trained up over the bald place above
he Who knows? Were all our Congress
an men like unto Clarkson b. Pottah, {
New York, we might understand tn
continuous and amazing demand ft
six combs aud brushes. The Hon. Potta
hy not only parts his hair in front, but }
nd has two allie bodied BARRIERS at work si
times a day, parting his COngrsssiou
The hair behind. 'h.
"Au' ist Misther Pottah yer spaki
ov. uv?" demanded an Irish messenger OF
~ day. "Be the howly Moses an isn't