, 1873-08-03
Married Happiness as Comprehend
ed and Pursued by tha
French.
Forboaranco Of Frcnclnen Toward Their
Wives" -"Rarity Of Absolute
lnddelity.
Unwi'lingness to Have Children, and
the Cause OF This Sentiment.
Tho Influence Of Society and Re-
ligion on Married Life.
From DlacEiroodtS 1Eugdzftle.

Ouo VI tNo OueCth OF tno lndlfluuAl boIL1coH-
flaence which is so general M attribute of MS
Anglo-saxons. III to inclino liz to face marriage
without calculating itB costs. Wo do 1t because
it.tenrts and interests 1s at tho inon1ont, trust
Ing to luck and 10 our strong arms for tho means
Of kooping our vito aud children. Therc isaome-
thing manly and vigorous III this way OF acting;
of courso 1t is rash and dangerous; Of courso It
often leads to all kinds of worry, and 1t somo-
times ends in downright misery; but thore is n
pIuckineHs about 1t which con1nen1H itself to our
nntules. Political economists and philosophers
60 on attackng it with unavai1ing arguments
aud uncollyinclng proofs, Right as tley may DO
In theory, ttloy do not influence otr practice
"improgident marriages" nIo as humorous as
ercr. Wo nro not prudent people In this re-
spcct md neithor onrneat books nor eloquent
discoursos arc likely to change our tendencies.
Most Of us believe, in varying degrees, in our
own innate Eower of overcoming obataelcs as
thoy ariso. Wo do not shrink from matrimony
bonupo ii may involve uB In risks and difficult
tics we r1lah at 1t because It attracts us at tho
moment, md bccnuso wo arc surrounded by
crowds Of people who havo done tho samo be-
fore nB, and have struggled somehow through
the consequences of their hurry or tllcir error.
Tho proceHs Of tho Fronch, On this point as on
many others, Is
IN ABSOLUTE CONTRADICTION
with our own. Whore We decide md act, they
woigh, and calculate, and hesitate, and consider.
They roach no resolve until they fancy they
have exhausted the measurement of advantages
and disadvantages, until they have pondercd
over probabilities ind possibilities, until they
imagine they hnyo united Us many elements OF
SUCCESS as hnman foresight can collect. It eau
scarcely be Hnid thut oven in England marriage
ii r1aI
concerning only the two Immediate parties to It.
Wo admit, in our upper classeB, at laast, that 1t
involves considerations of varied nature, which
justify and sometimes oven require tho inter-
vention of parents and families. But tuo French
carry this Intervention to n length which wo
could not support: they leave no liberty aud no
action to tho coming people the whole thing is
taken out Of their hapds, tloy are treatel aa IT
thoy were incompetent in tho question; thcir
parents undertake the negotiation for them, and
handlo it rs governments deal with International
treatieB G1aring1y evidont rs arc tho ono
tionalty and tho mobility Of tho french in other
phases Of their conduct, they have no applica-
ton here. They find thor uso abnndautly in
superficial sentiments, in tho forms and thoughts
and words Of outside existence, in tic manifes-
tation Of already existing affections; but, with
raro exceptions, thoy hayo nothing to do with
tho preparation of marriage. Their place Ia
taken, on that one occasion, bya
DRY, AR1THMErlcAL COMPUTATION OF PRACTICAL
RESULTS,
with no excitement untl with 10 distractions.
Where we 30 ordinarily Listen to what we UNDER
stand by love, to the temptations Of the young
heart in all their forms {howoycr transitory), to
our individual Impressions and to our opinions,
the French consult ntness of relative situation,
rcciprocties Of fortune and position, and hnrmo-
MICS Of family intorcourse. They seek to ineuro
the future, in some degree. In it's aocia! az vol
as 1ts pecnniary forms. They lay 1t down Tint
and that othor people Than the two directly in.
terestel have, both IN laW and reason right Of
Judgment in 30 graSe caso. This does not ab-
solutoly moan that pro-existiug sympathies arc
considered to DO anaocossary for marriage Ia
France but It docs lnoan IN the distinctest Ian
guago that such Bympathies alone arc not I'D
mitted there q sufficient motive for ar nBBo-
ciation which il to last till tcath. Sympathfes
othor contacts; eternal Attachments aro very
rare between people who Lave not managed to
get married, and have not tho aid Of tho Wooded
tic to hold item steadily together; but the neces-
On; thoy remain in force with ptfilous porBist-
enco, and tho French parents pay more attention
to them than to what mnY be only passing in
olinat!on in their SONS and daughters.
And it muBt be borno il mind that this view OF
marriage III not solely development Of the ma
tional disposition townrds prudence; it il also,
to sonle extent ut all ovonts, consequence of
tho legnl enactmonts contained in the Codo Ma
poloou., The 1aw forbids MI marriages without
either tho
CONTENT OF THE FATHER AND MOTHER,
or proof that tloy arc both dead. It Ia very
Troublesome to get marred In France the opef-
htlon a surrounded by diieulticB mud for,nalities
which would nuke III EngliHhman stamp with
rage. It liz true that if parents refuBo to allow