The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1873-09-20
THE 'SQUIRE'S VISITORS.


Squire Binks, a retired old gentle
man, lives away down ON Seventh
street. The other morning three old
ladies from Macon county came to his
house on a visit. They used to know
his wife before she was married. The
Squire welcomed them to his man
sion, and then went out to his barr.
and swore for half an hour. While
he was soothing himself thus his wife
called him into the house. She hand
cd him an umbrella to keep of the
sun, and said the ladies had walked
up from the depot and left some
things there for him to bring up. So
he brought them up, making two
round trips for the baskets, band
boxes, and two black oil-cloth travel
ing bags, all Of which the Squire dis
courteOusly called internal old traps"
AS he sat in the back kitchen wip-
ing his brow, his wife brought out the,
market basket and said there was not
bit of sugar or tea in the house, and
she remarked that while he was going
down town he might as well get the
molasses jug filled. The Squire asked
her how long those old migratory
pelicans were going to stay. And she
asked him if he thought she would be
80 rude as to ask them. Then the
Squire went down and laid in the
groceries. When he got back hi;
wife said she had forgotten something,
and thought of it just when it was too
late. She must have some corn starch.
The Squire asked her if any Of the
old scare-crows had dropped the least
hint as to the duration Of their visit.
She said not. The Squire looked sad
and discontinued.
When he had laid the paper of corn
starch on the kitchen table his wife
said they must have a Goldfish for din
ner. One of the ladies said in the
course of conversation that she was
fond of Goldfish. The Squire asked if
the old buzzards had yet committed
themselves on the extent Of their
present roost. She said he ought to
be ashamed of himself.
When he slapped the Goldfish down
on the table with whang, his wife
got him to bring in some w.te and
wood. Mrs. Spoonanger said she never
dined without ale, and the Squire was
asked if he would 60 down and bring
up bottle. He asked if he should
20 into the parlor and get those old
cormorants to make out . list Of what
they did like, and furthermore asked
if they were yet silent as to when they
thought they could go away. :.
He got the ale and for fear he would
have to trot down town again, he hired
an express wagon and loaded it with
all sorts of garden truck, bottle O
whisky, box Of sardines, q pound o
snuff, some cove oysters, dried apples
beans, smoked tongue, and cut ant
dried tobacco, picked walnuts, cameo
corn, maekerel, split peas, etc.
The next day the Squire was sen
down town only eight times.
Early the next morning he starte'
out into the country to see man
When he got home he asked his Wit
If any time had been set for the de
parture. On the evening Of the fol
lowing Monday one Of the ladies sal
she thought she ought to start on tn
next Friday, so as to reach home be
fore Sunday. Mrs. Blinks said the
ought not to be in . hurry. Th
Squire groaned and said they ough
TO make their visit out. On Frida
morning the Squire had an express
vaeon before the door. But his vii
said the ladies' had concluded to sta
until after the Fourth. Then th
Squire went oyt to saw wood an
converse with himself.-Peoria II
view.