Middletown transcript., 1873-04-05
Original pottrn.
For he Niddlaorn Transcript.
The Innocents at Home.
Extrnes from the mslausss. 81 the regular
momshly nseettng os the "oasseesss
~ aaass," the President ~ the
shass, after the usaal rsaAings
and rentvthustons.


Innocent Sister W. A. IL move that the qnes-
ton and report thereon embrace Hair-pins and
hnch-pins.
Innocent Doet q. Also chiHguepins.
ianoee1 .Nrs. =. Likewise terrfp,n,
Ianoeem Ma D. X. And that the repor,
be nads iu Pn.dari- vsisr.
The prtsidem Carried. Now, what VIII
you do wi,h--uwbat becomes Of the ships?''
Innocent c. II move they be referred TO the
Docs
Tae Pre,ideni Carried. | now call upon
lnnoccn, Dsrdrops for report ON the question
submitted at last meeting by sister innocent A
A-"When the horns Of the moon hang down
ward why does !, Indicate wet weather Y
INNOCENT pgwpaors.
| tisa, Mr. President innocsnt sisters,
And Innocent brethren. and all other Misiers
And Madams, and Misses. and such other Wis ,ers,
To answer my swee, little sstsr.inquis
Question the weather concerning:
Why I, is. when the horns Of the moon hang
tsuppcsing, of course she has horns to her
And who would this doubt, but an ignorant
cluwu4l
On land and on OCEAN, in county and Town,
Wiihou, change or stsdow z turning
The weather becomes dis-gu.t-insly wet,
A though the old Man in the Moon in srea'
Was pr-parin. - pay OF his pns,-fuc debt,
Whilst anSiuus creditors hungtilS met.
priermincay. dogsediy, cruelty set,
With sppelties thoroughly, thiss;ily rbd,
To put him 10 iYrIi-aiion;
Or heraus. of s1tie o crShelmns disgrace,
Had thrown ,ra blanket over his face,
Whilst III, tears poured through like a very
miil-mcc.
Submcr dug aud shakinz every place
Or. after long and exciting chase,
ls,o Bankruptcy thrown i desperate cas-
uatuytuuate ;haagh mot designing or tsse
hut still, lamp ming probation.
Now, TO answer this question AMI work up the
thema,
For ciiiica'iou o. all ,nd Miss Emma,
is,e seized tpih tosaa a, lhis efp,d ailemms
At once, anl IL ms aqmtis eAGeHa
Haye eTs.a ~ uoi .'gials ~ II conclusion, /;
In consulting au,hsri'ir, could noi Egg
Any rules Why iac weather should be wet and
no, ley,
And ola pt1oa'ili,s, thrre-fo'a Of
Aa in its, tyen Gryet Na. known 20 lie,
O. le sutltg 81 any profanity
fExae4t MS zndiAeHi--.Uh Gcnin
In pas.aal aud liaw ii. that 10 for high : ;
On b.s worl aal h.s amer soall net tell me
Wh.
Bat remarked as he winkei with his sinister eve,
THAI Ahoss ihe eatih aud heos thr sky
9asA VtiVte 'HlH1- - N' t"'f 49, " -
i,p-on mysterious collasions
The hr., reason then, have 10 give
Is ali ri5on-.hine TO some. there ara others who
Ise
And believe IT, Ike water poured into sieve
iEaeusr this l. stssaton, ysg scr how ~ dfv
To gel iny machins IA motion
But Whenever nly friends, sou desire 10 ride
al snta.thfr aal s4fHty and rHFrsIf-iE Glide.
Benin! a kttn-deer % kiosk tied,
or other LorHei cattle suksa side hy sid
Or A pair Of good s;seds with smoking hides,
To exrec, 10 have ran, aud 10 hold them besides,
Is, think pretty good notion
There 4 story toll rs some eounir! loon,
of dish that hoppei over a ltdic, or spooai
How lltie dog laughed himself into swunn,
While an old Brinde cow juupc1 over The moon
Now I've no Inclination this chap I. lanponn,
But il all in my eve Betty Martin
For l'ye always heard since @as TORN
That same old COW in her bovine scora,
In the Noon nian pyss hooked both her horns.
Like - lsin.pair OF u.agr.orsugr thorns,
Or the nu,rrs Of William ctprieurl,
That his laehrsmal aqneiaets mnehly were torn
Which accounts tor the ,yt fleis seen in som,
storms
The Mediterranean, and dews morns
Aud the milk, it Is said. in the coeoa-nu, form
Bu, ,ha, old cow died OF the "hollet-horn,a
Arc facts established ~ sarftn
Another reason, rs have been told
By shepherds and milk -inaiis. Young and old,
Who aueks had attended mani:fold,
Aud herbs OF cattle bought and sold,
Not for yrren-baek, and shtan,ss, but silver ant
gold
| now will proceed 10 mention
That same Clantlclstr which erowei In the morn
tb.am ii. -. ak,A
Who married that Julio, taticred and torn
| To thai amorous Rome-<a all torlurn,
| Who MIXED the COW with the ernmplsd horn,
Was Coek-seomh, eAie-eaned 10 bis lionel.
bourne,
And coet-braiaed by Rsyn-adrf, inyeu
iions.
| Blu, the ehietest reason have TO say
! Why IL indicates ram when the horns hang TIA
Is one ,ha, philosophers never gansay,
The Clerk OF the weather, by night aud by da,
Is puiiiny a "AaAi on, Wills, millers pray,
And the name Of this gentry Is legion !;
| Now a head of water Is much the same
A head with little or weakish brain,
Or cracked, or added, or sort OF cross-grain,
(iIydrocephaious, the leeehcs call II ~ name,
| Sometimes e1ngeni,al, sometimes strain.
but speaking of heads awakcns q train
uf thought, in a striking historical sein
| As was once remarked by Nicky Y Shane
When be sucked ,hat delicious aiicampanc-
Ex,orted from Srychnine and rotten grain,
That delec,ahie beverage, Grerian Champagne,
The though; 10 Of ererns, and these Of reign
That came from across the ocean main,
But Ii no, expected TO come again;
Twas a iea-to,al fall In this region.
But the truth of the matter Is, Innocent dsars,
That horns hanging dozen can't be .fsu, this
clear,
So the properb goes dosn not the horns, 1t appears
4 And a. you all are expecting to hear
/ How IL 10 wet seasons appointed
II 10, whss those antlers are erect and upbornt
! Aad brimfui, o'erflowiag like thnt famous Corn
| tcopia we read Of 10 school books well worn,
All dripping and stopping 10 full basin form;
Then look out for weeks or driryle and storm.
| From moruing 70 ere, and from evening TO mcrn
| And you never will bs disappsiated.