Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1873-05-27
How Mark Twain Got a Seat.

In a new local magazine, the Globe pub
lished in Buffalo, is the following remnis>
eence of Mark THain's brief editorial career
10 that city:
No man dctcsted loafers more than Mr..
Clemens, and assuredly man could be moro
pitiess in his treatment of bores Ne was
vigorous in his denunciation of that class of
people who aimlessly and impudently intrudc
their constant presence in an editorial room.
One incident will, perhaps. bear relating,
showing how he once rehnked n party of un-
desired visitors. Arriving at his Office one
evening about 81 O'Clock he found it full of
men, ali strangers to linn. They had ap-
pareptly taken full possession of the room.-
Some were smoking and soma had their feet
upon the table, and every chair in the room
was occupied. With look of disgust Mr..
Clemens hesitated for moment in the door
way, and then in his peculiar way, said:
ais this the editorial room, Of the Erprcss?''
eyes, sir" promptly ehoruscd the assem>
blaga.
dim. Is it customary for the editors to
sit down ?" questioned the hnmorist.
eyes" "certainly,' 'eto be sure" were the
replies of the puzzled smokers. "Wby 90
you ask ?" said one at last
"Becausc. slowly enunciated Mr. Clemens.
III am one of the editors of the Express. and
it occurred to me that ought to have seat"
In an instant every chair was vacated, and
the men, somewhat abashed, ATTEMPTED to
laugh the matter off by saying, 'Ah Mr.
Clemens, that was neat" "vitty ms usual"
etc, etc, hnt there was something in the
joker's eye that quickly told them he was in
no Joking frame of mind at that moment
After that loafers were rather shy of Mark
Twain
KEEP CooL.-Capt. Fred Luce, more than
forty years ago, was commander of little
tub-like steamer, called the Huron, tina. piled
daily between Detroit and Monroe, on the
Detroit River.
Capt. Fred was always profuse in his talk
when the speed of his craft was called in
question, and many passenger was induced
to take ride with him, being assured by the
urbane Fred that no boat could beat him
= Leaving Detroit one morning in June, 1880.
with quite load of passengers, MANY of
whom had been told that they should be
landed at Monroe, long before the Daniel
Webster, first class steamer, which left De-
troit about the same time, could reach there.
Capt. Fred's tub labored down the river
Soon the Webster seen bearing down
upon them, with at least double the speed the
Huron could make.
- An anxious passenger approaching Capt.
n
tain. the Webster is after u.s."
"Keep cool, my friend" replied the Jolly
captain of the Huron, eve will soon be after
her."
"A witness in late divorce suit kent
saying that the wife had very re,aliatinc
disposition that she rctaliated for every lit
tie thing
"Did you ever see her husband kiss he. ?"
asked the wifcs counsel
eyes sir; often"
'tWhat did she do on such occasions ?''
"She always retalinted sir"
Papa, said boy, what is punctua>
tion 2"
81. is the art of putting stops, my child"
"Then wish you'd go down into the cellar
and punctuate the cider barrel, as the cider is
running all over the floor"
- As an Atlanta judge was administering
sentence, the prisoner encouragingly re-
marked, ."Go in, old bald head" This was
more than the judge could 'sbear," and the
sentence was appropriately heightened.
in the habit of living hundred years. His
oppoDen. responds by saying 'that was before
the introduction of capital punishment" !:
The staid Portsmouth .Jomrnal says orr
anges are for sale in the city which resemble
feudal castles-thick on the Rhine.
A gentle Missouri girl recently burned
OFF her lovers whiskers because they didn't
match her best dress.
A