The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-04-05
ANECDOTES.

was in his study, A long, thin and ghostly-
visaged gentleman was announced. With
asthmatic voice, but in tone of civility
for otherwise the editor would have trans
fixed him with a fierce paragraph the next
morning, the stranger said:
"Sir, your journal Of yesterday contained
false information
Impossible, sir; but tell me to what
you allude."
You said that MIR. NJ. had been tried"
"True"
Condemned"
Every true"
"Hung."
Most true"
"Now, sir, am the gentleman himself.
Impossible"
| assure you it is fact and now hope
that you will contradict what you have al
legged"
By no means, SIR"
How! What do you mean? You are
deranged."
a may be so, sir, but will not do it."
II will complain to magistrate"
As you please; but | never retract. The
| most that | can do for you is to announce
that the rope broke, and that you are now
in perfect health. have my principles, sir ;
| never deceive"
Soon after the elective system went into
| operation in the State of New York, a cor
oner who had been elevated to office under
the new plan, was called to sit upon the
body of deceased Italian, who had been
found in an apartment not many squares dis
tant from the Five Points. The proceed
ings were very solemn, the dignity of the
coroner casting an atmosphere of legal de-
termination over and through the jury rare
ly seen on former similar occasions. Every
one present seemed oppressed with respon-
sibility, while the newl y-made coroner actu-
ally distended with unborn justice. The
only witness in the case was small Italian
boy, who understood no language but his
mother tongue, while the coroner spoke
Irisho- English only. In this condition Of
things the examination of the witness took
place, as follows:
Coroner :" Boy, where do you live p
Boy stares and shakes his head.
Coroner Do you speak English p
Boy repeats his shake
Coroner: Do you speak French?"
Boy: Another shake.
Coroner: Do you speak German?"
Boy: Reiterated wiggle of head.
Coroner: -" How old are your"
Boy: Another shake.
Coroner " Have you parents?"
Boy: Shake repeated.
Coroner DO you speak Italian?"
Boy: Another shake, with not the least
evidence of intelligence.
| Coroner: Gentlemen of the jury, it is
no use going on with this examination. You
will observe have addressed this witness
in seven different languages, and can not
elicit an answer. The court is obliged to
adjourn"
BUYING W1FE.-Speaking of marriage
recalls talk with our dragoman, yesterday
on our way to the Pyramids.
| Well, Mahomet," ! said to him. "
see all the women have their faces covered
how do you manage the matter when you
think of getting married? Didn't you evel
see your wife's face till after she was your
wife ?"
! mo, sir, not till l was married; but
when I thought that perhaps 1 should like
to marry her. | sent my mother or my sister
you know, to see her; and if my mother OF
my sister tell me she have big neck, or ar
ugly face, or is too fat, or is deformed, or il
not any good-looking then l don't marry
her, you know. But if they tell me hel
good-looking, and is all right, then / ask
her father if may have her, you know"
but what about her own consent? Die
anybody ask that p
"Oh. no compel her. If her not willing
her father not force her, you know"
"That is all right, certainly; what price
is usually paid ?"
"Oh, not always the same; hundred
pound, fifty pounds, twenty pounds-ter
pounds different prices, you know"
"How much, for example, did you pay fol
yours?"
Il pay twenty pounds.
"Well, what do you think about it; die
you make good bargain ?"
| "He?"
ado oou think now that she was worth
as much as that?"
At this he shrugged his shoulders in the
peculiar way common to Germans, Italians
and some Orientals.
"Oh, l didn't care for the money; it's my
'ligen, you know, to pay for my wife; and
pay twenty pounds
1 had quizzed him sufficiently, and the
matter was amply elucidated.
AN 1NoUIRINa MIND. "A little semi
pagan, who for the first time was receiving
some religious instruction from a female
friend whom he was visiting, found some
difficulty in understanding that our Sunday
had anything remarkable in it over any othel
day At last, by dint Of line upon line
and precept upon precept," he was made t.
comprehend somewhat of the sanctity o
the day Unfortunately however, soon after
he began to understand things, coming from
church one Sunday he noticed the apoth
ecary shops open. His newly acquired
moral sense received terrible shock, anc
he entered into a very orthodox denuncia
ton of the unconscious compounders o.
simples.
But" he was told, 81 the druggists mus
keep open on Sundays, so that the sicE
people can get medicine"
"Why, do people get sick on Sunday"
Eyes, just as on any other day"
"Well, good peple don't die on Sunday
do they"
Certainly"
How can that be? Does heaven keeI
open on Sunday"
1t is needless to say that all further grav,
conversation on the subject was impossible
Affected young lady, seated in rocking
chair reading the Bible, exclaims, Mother
here is grammatical error in the Bible =
Mother, lowering her spectacles, and ap
preaching the reader in very scrutinizine
attitude, says, Kill it kill it! 1t is the
very thing that has been eating the book