Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-11-20
PHUNNYGRAMS,

| nose
y neat little foot
"A Dubuque banker dropped two
! cent piece in the contribution box and
| took out cent for discount"
Loss OF China packet shipn' sx-
CANNED Mrs, Darlington. mo wonder,
| "heh IRON ones aren't always safe"
| - mere IS something in name, after
ar II would seem, as one of the colored
| brethren wanted to know If Gerald Massey
was son of Lorda Massey.
She died of corset" is the inscrin-
lioh on tombstone in Stenda, Prussia
a woman at our elbow says she probably
uled corset couldn't be helped.
just because young man in Evans
VIE coughed up gold dollar recently
that he swallowed some time ago the citi-
zens OF that place speak boastinrly OF
their "coughers of gold"
"A photographer in Gloucester. Mass
mas been astonished by young woman
VINO came to ask, meeklv and innocentlv
HOW long does il take to get a photo.
graph after you leave your measured
An Iowa schoolmistress had her toe
TORN OH by lightning the other day. She
SIMPLY remarked that it was an untoeavd
performance ON the part of the lightninp.
ana kept on with her spelling class.
Anna, dear, if | should attemnt To
spell Cupid, why could | not get beyond
the nrSt syllablegh Anna paye IL nm
whereupon William said: Because when,
come TO ~ Of course ! cannot 90 any
further" ~ ''
You needn't come on Saturday
night, or any other nightr' was the sooth
ing remark written in delicate female
characters on postal card which winged
us way through the Leavenworth post
Office the other day.
The Danbury Ne1os states that the
panic has so far abated AS to permit an
ESSEX street man to return to ten cent
cigars ana he hopes in another month, if
the brightness continues 10 increase. TO
set his boys boots half soled.
A lady teacher inquired of the mem
bers OF class of Juveniles if any of them
could name the four seasons. Instantly
The chubby hand of tive-year old was
raised, and promptly came the answer.
Pepper, salt, vinegar and mustard
"A Missouri girl, on her weddinr.dav
sold her piano and bought sewing ma
chine, and material enough for suit for
her husband and herself and at once set
to work making them up. Her husband
blowed 1t. In two weeks her four sisters
were all married.
Said Sir Boyle O'Roach, of Erin buu
memory, 81 smell a rat, see him floating
in the air, let us nip him in the bud"
Says paper, rs a head line to report of
a hre "A coniagration nippcd in the
bud" This metaphor ompoender must
have been mixing his drinks.
-- l)pptnr Hlonl ottor,,,,l
himself against the iacetous assault of n
friend by saying; ~ defy any person
whom | ever attended to accuse me of
ignorance or neglect" "That YOU may
do safely" said his assailant, '"for YOU
know, doctor, dead men tell no tales"
AT recent teaparty in The High
lands, young man who had been relat-
ing his more than wonderful exploits in
various parts of the globe, was not "A lit
tie taken back by the remark of an old
traveller: young man, amt you ashamed
to talk 50 when there are older liars at the
table?"
"A marriage between Christian gen
tleman and Jewish lady, not long since,
exercised the minds of some of their
friends. Pooh pooh!" said gentle
man, "why i'll tho world make such a fuss
bound together like the Old and New Tes-
lament"
A man got'up before dawn on a re-
cent Sunday morning, to see the sun rise,
and was shot by the exasperated owner of
melon-patch, next door. In May last he
made Il similar effort, and was bitten on
the heel by strange dog, lie thinks OF
hiring boy to do the early rising for
his family.
The owner of new moustache was on
the train down yesterday morning. He
gave up all MS attention to his lip. First
he would push the contents upwards, and
then stroke them downwards. Again le
would pull out the ends, and 90 through
motions calculated to make it part in the
middle Finally bushy-bearded man in
seat opposite leaned across the aisle.
and observed in a friendly whisper, vet
loud enough to be heard through the car:
Don't you want to get one or two good
hairs to breed from '"-Dnn6ury Ne6s.
-Thirty-two eentsl" echoed a woman.
when her grocer charged her that sum for
a pound of butter Eyes, 'um" he re-
piled, with bland smile. "You see the
grocers can't carry much Of a reserve. and
we can't turn out our colaterals at a sac
rhcc. If the Government calls In the
bonds due in 1874 and the imports Of bull
lion tend TO ease the money market "A lit
tie, butter must find its level with every
thing else, Butter is very pancky Just
now, but / think the worst is over" She
pad the money without further growing.
"A lot Of Ministries went to a town not
far from Boston lately, and advertised to
give performance for "the benefit Of the
poor-tckets reduced to ten cents" The
hall was crammed full. The next morn
ing committee of the poor called upon
the Treasurer Of the concern for the
amount said benefit had Noted The