Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-11-07
why Men Must do the :. Popping

why wen must uO the " Popping.
Let US consider briefly the reason why
men take the initiative. True, it has
been one of our unwritten social laws
that women may propose in leap year,
that is, in every fourth year. But we
have entirely failed to establish case
in point, or to name woman who has
availed herself of such prerogative.
True also, we hear of certain women
who Z" set their caps" to certain gentle
men. But this is no proposing or pop
ping. A woman may lawfully and sex
ually use all her art wiles, and she may
employ all the coquetry that is in her to
bring about the popping" but she may
not pop" herself. Now, whatever may
be said to the contrary, marriage is OF
pecuniary value to women. To most of
the sex it is q positive livelihood, and
the main object of attainment in life.
This paramount feeling, and the money
question involved with it, would be
indicate were it openly announced
it is therefore quietly kept in the back
ground, though none the less lost
sight Of Etiquette requires it should
not be openly put forward, and woman
is not supposed to offer herself in mar
riage, but rather to be sought after, by
reason of the vast expense she brings
upon the man for her support. There
fore, if the man pops the question, the
right to do so falls to him by reason of
the pecuniary responsibility to which he
subjects himself by taking unto himself
wife. Royalty stands on a different
footing; queen may propose, and yet
lose none of her sexual dignity. 1t will
slse have been observed that, in the case
of the Princess Louise, that illustrious
young lady was made by royal etiquette
to take up quite different position than
that assumed by ladies' without the pale
of royal blood. In these cases the bal
aRce Of material benefit is on the side OF
the woman, aud the invitation to the
place of high rank and power is clearly
her prerogative. A lover suing for her
hand would inevitably subject himself to
suspicious of mercenary motives.
Again, the woman is not supposed to
be the first to fall in love. Practice, we
know, would accept this theory; it is as
much human nat=re for a woman to fall
in love with man as it is for a man to
fall in love with a woman. But there is
Just this difference, that the woman may
not declare her passion, and therefore it
is unborn-is not called into life-and
by fiction does not exist till the man has
first proposed and called her love into
life, into responsive love with his own.
Men, moreover, in such matters like
to take the initiative; women must,
therefore, wait until they are asked, aud
If they do love, must conceal it until
they in return are loved. Sometimes,
indeed, we do see women overstepping
the bounds Of delicacy, and so thrust
ing their passion before man as virtu-
ally 10 amount 10 a declaration Of their
preference. Such overturning Of an
established rule, however, is fraught with
danger to the practicer, for when abort
grasping the prize, she will most likely
see it elude her too eager clutch. Men
will too often give up the game entirely
when they find themselves turned from
the pursuer into the pursued. On paper
it is difficult TO draw a line where the
allurement and the cOquetry end, and
the decided advance OF woman to the
unconcealed attack begins; such line,
however, does exist, and the Well-regu-
lated instinct Of the sex points TO just
so far as may be gore with propri-
ETY. aud mOdesty, and no farther.
A woman must Just leave that suspic- |
ion Of uncertainty in the mind Of the /
swan as to the final result which viii in
duce him TO continue the pursuit and |
land him 10 a hnal popping Of the ques-
ton. Words are not spoken, but the /
mystical influence that surrounds two /
lovers interprets what the outside world |
cannot fathom. The eyes play q won
derfnl part, and these organs pop the
question az much as the lips. In fact /
we might set It deWn 81 an axiom that /
no man ssoald pop the question with his |
mouth all the eyes Of the woman give /
him virtual commission 10 do 90. III
this were more studied, and men did not /
take such encouragement from their own ]
wishes there would be far less chance Of /