The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1873-11-28
A FUNNY MIXTURE.
what Came OF Putting g Mrs. Before
Mans Name.


What Came OF Putting - Mrs. Before
Mans Name.
I have purchased a billiard table
My wife ssys that it is a good thing t,
have in the house, and prevents on
boys from spending their evenings ava!
from home, and Iounging in saloons o,
bar-rooms.
The table being a new thing, is i'm
menseIy popular in the family, and as
our connection is large and friends nu
merous, it is seldom that get chance
at the balls. By the by, I wonder why
every thing about balls has such a fasci
nation for human kind, and why every.
body is after them, of some sort or an
other. There are race balls and
Inauguration balls, pawnbrollers' balls
and billiard balls, cannon balls and
nursery bawIs, and I once knew a widow
Balls, who had more offers of marriage
than any spinster or widow of her age
in the country.
My br ther-in-law, who lives over the
way from our street, frequently comes
over to play a game of billiards. He
never played before We got our table,
and did not care much for it at first, but
now, since he can carom on the red and
white, and make a Iun of two, he is
incessant in his playing, and We ha' e
hard work to stop him at bed time. He,
like all other fancy plaI ers, / -sists upon
knocking the balls right and left for an
hour after the game is finished and the
lights are ready to be put out. Indeed,
so Pertinacious is he that we have jocu-
IarIy named him Mrs. Gibbs, after the
historical lady who owned a SOW that
required beating to get it TO the trough,
and beating to get it away.
A few evenings since, my family hav-
ing gone to the theatre, and I detained
at home by a cold, sent the following
note by a new servant to my brother
in-law
"IEy Dear Mrs. Gi66s:-Susan has
gone to the theatre, the coast is clear,
and we can have a good time. Come
over at once. Ever yours,
IN. Y. FULLNAME.
Instead of delivering my note on the
east side of the street, he handed it on
the west side, where, as it was a plain
sheet of paper, not sealed, it was care
fully read and returned to the bearer,
with advice to take it next door, where
the same process was gone through,
until it had been perused by every do
mestic circle in the block.
Finally, a neighbor told the servant
that Mrs. Gibbs resided in Blank street,
No. 129, two doors from the corner of
another street, which place he soon
found, and joyfulIy presented the note
to Mrs. Gibbs, who was enjoying qGiat
evening with Mr.. Gibbs, surrounded by
all the little Gibbses, and several in
quiring friends, who wanted to know
the contents of the note that Mrs. Gibbs
was blushing over and telling the man
she did not understand.
Imagine Mr.. Gibbs surprise when he
had read it, and the sorrowful look that
overspread his countenance while gaz-
ing upon the partner of his bosom and
the mother of his eleven children.
Mrs. Gibbs could not explain, and the
new servant complicated the case by
saying that the lady he was after was a
gentleman, which determined Mr.. Gibbs
to put on his hat and come over. Mrs.
Fullname had returned from the theatre
when he arrived, note in hand, and over
a social glass all was satisfactorily ex-
planned and settled But, alas the
numerous curious eyes in the other
street that had glared upon my note,
next day spread the report that poor
Susan FuIlname was neglected by her
husband, and that poor Mr.. Gibbs was
suing for a divorce.
Time, that kills all things, is killing
and curing the rumor; but, although
nine days are over, I do not dare to pass
the Gibbs mansion or to look at Mrs.
| Gibbs when Mrs. FulIname and myself
are together in public.