The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-08-15
Traits of DR.. johnson.

could suppose he would do he married
woman aged fifty ! He would have
doubtless, called this idle and vicious
perversityin another man, and have beer
mercilessly sarcastic over the mistak,
of taking a widow when q maid Nigh
have been had. Perhaps he hoped tx
obtain more authority over an old thai
he could obtain over q young woman
If this was his idea, he did not delay
its execution. According to the fashion
of those times, the bride and bride
groom set out on horseback for the
church; but before they got there
Johnson found it necessary to show his
wife, as he afterwards showed his
friends, that wherever he was he must
be first. Let him tell his own story
I" Sir, she had read the old romances,
and cot into her head the fantastical
notion that a woman of spirit should
use her lover like a dog So, sir, at
first she told me that I rode too fast,
and she could not keep up with me, and
when rode little slower she passed
me and complained that [ Jagged be-
| hind. I was not to be made the slave
of caprice, and resolved to begin as /
meant to end. I therefore pushed on
briskly until was fairly out of sight.
The road lay between two hedges, so
| that was sure she could not miss it.
When she did I observed her to be in
tears" His marriage, his affection, his
admiration for his wife, were perfectly
III accord with his character. If we
may believe Garrick, Mrs. Porter was
stout and old, with swelling bosoms
such as Fielding loved to write of, and
fat cheeks whose dimensions she exagge-
rated by thick coating of paint. She
had an undue partiality for strong wa
ters. Her voice was loud; her walk
was a swagger she was gross in her
tastes, affected in her behavior, and
faring in her dress. Either johnson
was too proud or too blind to see his
mistake for he would talk of her beau
ty as Congreve talked of the charms of
Mrs. Bracegirdle !; he contrived endear-
ing appellations for her; he had the
highest respect for her Judgment; and
when she died, mourned her with con-
stancy and vehemence of grief that
throughout his long life suffered no
abatement. Though they often quar-
relied, there is no doubt that they were
not more unhappy together than most
married people are At all events they
were well matched. To any other man
but Johnson, her whims, her habits, her
tastes, her person, the abundant pecu-
iarities or mental infrmities which are
generated by old age, would have been
extremely distasteful but Johnson also
had habits and tastes which, if they we're
more original, were certainly not less
disagreeable than hers. At table he was
singularly gross in his manners and Of
fensive in his choice. There were pc
riods probably when her appetite might
have deserted her when, with face as
yellow as her cheeks would allow it to
amazement and disgust. He would
pour oyster sauce over plum-pudding,
and allow the melted butter to run
from his toast into his chocOlote. His
favorite dish was a veaI-pie, sweetened
with sugar, or stuffed with plums but
hardly less choice in his eyes was the red
pork. boiled until the flesh fell in rags
from the bone. He did not eat, he
gorged. He could devOur at a sitting
He would masticate his food with the
energy and fervor with which he de-
claimed the veins would stand out
upon his temples, and the persperation
pour from his forehead. Nor was his
eating the most formidable of his habits.
His gesticulations were often SO excess
i've and uncomfortable that he would
twitch the shoes off ladies' feet, sweep
the salt boxes from the table, or cause a
general infusion by half tearing off the
tablecloth. He threw open windows on
the bleakest December days, and would
stand meditatively in the cold draught,
while those in the room crept for shell
ter behind a screen or into the fender
for warmth. His behavior in the streets
was equally surprising. AS he passed
along he would knock loads off porters'
backs, and walk on in happy uncon-
ciousness of the mischief he had done
nor would the sufferers, as they OBJ
served the hurley form rolling from
them in an outline not unlike that of
of the back view of an elephant, dare to
pursue him. His march seemed to be
performed by the wagging of his head
and the contortions of his body rather
than by the movement of his feet.
Crowds would collect to watch him.
He would touch the street posts as he
passed with superstitious precision, and
if he omitted one, he would retrace his
steps that the queer ceremony might be
more punctually gone through. At in
tervals he was seized with cramp or
convulsion, and would dance about the
pavement to the CONSERVATION or merri-
ment of the passengers.