The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-06-26
rECULrARIrIEs OF REPORTERS

should be so. It makes considerable iun
for the curious, and whenever their little |
errors, accidents, characteristics, or Cd
dities are strung together, one gets an
idea of one side of an interesting class OF |
men. Cityfeporters are often men OF
as high an order of talent as their preen-
rem, the editors. Often, indeed, they are
men of greater calibree, and they are al
ways more versatile. They know how
to amuse, if they are not school-masters,
and their motto is, to be anything rath-
er than dull" It is good axiom for
newspaper work. and is highly consider
ed by most newspaper readers. Country
reporters differ from city men more from
the fact they are younger, are learners,
and from the difference in their expert
ence, than from any very radical differ
ence in their composition. They are all
human, and they all err. The object of
this article is to give in relief some of
their more prominent features.
The most gallant ofthereporters is the
dies go there for show, and well aware
that his best friends are among the sex,
who, when they read the paper, read the
reportorial items, such as locals, acct
dents, ETC.. he inclines to exaggeration.
Thus We find that
Mrs Flouncer will this summer occu-
ply her new (not cottage, but) chateau at
Long Branch, and that the lovely and
accomplished Miss Feverglade will be the
reigning ''star" of Newport hotel socie-
ty. Mr.. Jenkins, who proposes to oc-
cupy as usual, with his family, a plain,
two-story frame structure at Cape May
during the hot months, is compelled to
read, to his horror and the infinite
amusement of his friends, that he will
occupy this season his charming marine
villa" etc.
When he does not like to make invidi-
GUS comments, he is very brief. The re-
porter is man of facts, not of opinions.
For example:
At recent Illinois marriage he was
twenty and she was thirteen.
And this one is probably the shortest
description of an elopement (ncluding
the feelings of the fond father) ever re-
| corded
Being just one steamer ahead of her
papa, pretty little New Orleans girl
managed to get married in spite of his
protests. He came up to her just in
time to give her his blessing, though his
phraseology was exceptionable.
Reporters almost always report in a
| touching way to articles of food and
drink. Raiment concerns them not. Re
ferring to a case of starvation in large
city, reporter says:
| Starved starved and yet was my
boarding house filed with hash and the
cellar most abundantly supplied with
beans. These being all food, alas, upon
which we may count with certainty,
perhaps the starved man had these
things, but would touch them not. Per-
| haps his proud soul refused the monoto-
ny of beans the want of variety and re-
liability in hash. Perhaps he persisted
in the midst of abundance. Who can
tell All who ? We have ourselves been
often tempted to stand this culinary
crime no longer, (Men must cut this
out and send to landlady.)
He seldom misses food item, howev-
er short
jackson, Miss, has had shower OF
fish.
Or:
Tt is reported that there are eight
thousand undivided porter-house rump
steaks on the hoof coming eastward from
| Texas.
One of them mixed up his feelings for
sex with his appreciation of food, as fol
lows
All my ladies' lips are the glowing
gateway of pork and potatoes. Why
| not =?
Weather reports often appear in the
reporters notebook, but it is not often
that he mixes it up with religion, as in
this observation
The rain of to-day came very oppor-
tune, and many thanked Heaven who
never did such thing before, and never
| will again until more hot weather comes.
Another mixes up with business
"A rain, a rain, give us rain. We
don't want it personally, but the farmers
do, and they owe the publishers money,
and the publishers owes. That's how it
is.
Here is man who puns on the SUBJ
ject:
The Lord rains let the earth rejoice.
Accidents are told in variety of ways.
The most popular style seems to be the
most laconic
A Chicago man found q chunk of
something that shut of his wind in the
hash the other morning, and now sleeps
in the valley.
Another
A man named Kellogg, full of curiosi-
ty interviewed buzz-saY in staye fac
tory at Indianapolis, just to see wheth-
er it was going. The saw was Kellogg
ed but moment.
How is this s'for short.
Mrs. Maria Framley gave up the bad
habit of using kerosene for kndling fires
on Thursday last.
Here is longer one !:
A little Kansas girl, who built a fire in
her fathers barn, and found = getting
beyond her control, fastened to hide
what she had done by covering it with
boards. The motive was pardonable,
perhaps, but was not satisfactory.
This one is little sarcastic, and
sounds note of warning
The fact that John Zeigler's gun was
loaded when he blew in the muzzle and
held the hammer back with his toe, was
of no practical use to him, as he did not
live long enough to reap any desirable
fruit from the discovery.
The reporter is sometimes obliged to
be complimentary whereit ''goes against
him." In these cases he is apt to put it
or, 1iffIa haox- Tor