The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-03-26
s'sETlSG Up STOVES.

! >Hl''N''> ''' Wv WV II VI Hu''I'o
up stoves, says the first step to bo
take" i, to put On Il very oiI and
ragged coat under the impression
thai. when be gets his mou,A fail
Of plaster, 1t will keep his shirs
bosom clean.
Next he gets his hand inside the
place where the pipe Ought to 90,
;sn:! blacks his fingers, and then
carefully makes a black mark
down one side ot his rOS2. Il is
Impossible 70 make ANY heahway
i'll doing this work until this mark
is made down the side Of the nose.
Having got his face properly
marked, the victim IS ready TO
commence Tic ceremony.
The head Of the family, WHO'S tho
big goose OF the sacrifice, grasps
on one side of the bottom Of the
stove, and his wife and the hired
girl take hold Of the other side.
In this way the load is started
from the woodshed, cellar or gar
ret, toward the parlor.
Going through the door, tho
head of the family will carefully
swing his side Of the stove around
and jamb his thumb nail against
the door post. This part Of the
ceremony is never omitted.
Having put the stove comforta-
bly, in place, the next thing is to
find the legs.
Two Of these are left inside the
stove since the Spring before. The
other two must be huntcd after
for half an hour.
They are usually found under
the coal.
Then the head of the family
holds up one side Of the stove,
while lis wife puts two Of 'hc legs
III place and next he holds up the
other sides while the other two
are fixed, and one Of the first two
falls out.
BY the time the stove is on its
legs he gets reckless, and takes off
his old coat, regardless Of the
linen.
Then he goes for the pipe: and
gets q cinder in his eye. Il don't
make any difference how we'll the
pipe was put up last year, it will
! be fouud q little too Iong. The
head Of the family jams his hat
over his eyes, and taking piece
Of pipe urGcr each arm, goes TO
the tin shop to have it fixed.
When be gets back he steps upon
one Of the best parIor chairs to see
if the pipe fits: and his wife makes
| him get down for fear he will
scratch The varnish from the chair
with the nails in bis boot heels.
! In getting down he will step on
the cut, and may thank his stars it
is not the baby.
Then he gets on ar old chair and
climbs up to the chimney again. to
6ud that in cutting the pipe of, the
end has been left TOO big for the
hole in the chimney. 50 he goes
out into the yard and splits one
side Of the end Of the pipe with
All old ax and squcczcs it in his
hands to ,nakc it smaller.
| Finally: he gets the pipe in
shape: and finds that the stove
does not stand true.
Then himself and wife, and the
hired Cir! move the stove to the
lief; and the legs fall out again.
| Next is to move to the right.
! More difficulty with the legs.
, Moved to the front a little. FL
bow not even with the hole in the
chimney, and he goes into the cell
| lar after somc little blocks,
While putting the blocks under
the legs, one pipe comes out oFthe
! chimney.
| That remcdied, the elbows keep
tipping over, to the great alarm Of
the wife.
Head of the family gets the din
ncr table out, puts the old chair on
! it. gets his wife to hold the chair,
and balances himself on it, to
drive some nails in the ceiling
! Drops the hammer down on his
wife's head.
At last he gets the nails driven,
makes Il wire spring to hold the
! pipe, hammers little here, pulls .
little there, takes 3 long breath,
and announces the ceremony COM
p!cted.
Job never put up any stoves. 1t
would have ruined his reputation
il he had.
DEATHs.-Nr. Edwin McCrary; an
cid and valued citizen of this County,
died at his residence on the 18th, ult.
Aged 63 years.
Wm. Blakcly, Esq, NEST worthy
and highly esteemed citizen Of this
County. died at his home. Oh 10Th
inst. at the advanced age of II years.
Mr.. Y. McBce Burgess: d brick
mason, an Industrious and worthy
young man Of this County, while ell
gagged in buildinga chimney: fell there
from and was killed, a day or two
since.-LaurensriYe HerGId.
In Tazwell county, Ill.,, great dam
aoe has been done fruit trees by the