Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-01-02
Miscellaneous.
"A Texas paper has an interesting dc
)artmept of DELAYED TeIegramS,"

"A IeXaS paper has an interesting Qe-
partment of "Delayed kilograms"
Fifty negroes who were induced to
go to Liberia last year have returned to
Richmond, Va.
A Troy bulldog attacked a stuffed
tiger in front of hat store, the other
day, and brought him down.
In Pesth, the other day, youth OF
sixteen recited at an exhibition the Lords
Prayer in twenty-five languages.
The Boston papers appeared in Arab
costume after the flre-that is to say, they
were covered with the Burn news.
"A disguised Danburian wants to
know, If woman was designed to be
the equal of man, Why is it she can't
whistle
A correspondent wants to know
whether, considering the great utility of
the ocean, poets are not wrong in calling
it ga waste of water
Jacob T. Geyer, of Lafayette, Ind,
paid his fine Of $14 for an attempted as
sault, in one-cent coppers. The coin
weighed ten and a quarter pounds.
You can tell those people who have
buckwheat cakes for breakfast, by the
thoughtful expire ssion on their counter.
ances when scratching themselves.
When an auctiOneer has made a cata-
loaue for you, why is he ultra High
Church? Please don't say, Because he's
writ you q list (ritualist).
An editor says he once partook of
beverage so very strong that he could not
tell whether it was brandy or a torch-light
procession that was going down his
throat
A fashion paper says: "Satin dresses
are to be no longer worn by brides"
They could not be worn any longer than
they are now without tripping up every
body in the room.
Northampton, Mass, boasts young
lady who has framed and raised barn;
but we know a maid who raised whole
house-and all because she could not find
her back hair.
1t occurred to Danbury scholar,
while writing composition, to make the
remarkable statement that IAN OK does
not taste as good as an oyster, but it can
run faster"
The assets of the Washington are
securely invested in lands and mort
cages first liens) and United States and
New York State stocks and bonds, in COM
pliance with the laws of the State Of New
York.
81 have been thirteen years in the
practice of criminal law IN this city,"
says Mr.. John ID. Townsend, Of New
York, land my experience has led me to
the conclusion that there is no place
where the uncertainty of punishment is
greater than in this city"
Two mice were recently caught at
Belfast, Me-, in curious manner. AS in
the old fable, they crept into bottle
which lay on its side, partook so heartily
of the seductive contents that they
couldn't get out, and were captured.
VIM. Smith, recently convicted Of
| the murder of Denison Miller, Of Green
field Mich, has been found guilty Of
placing distractions on the Michigan Cen
trail Railroad track with view Of throw
| ing trains off the track, and sentenced to
| twenty five years imprisonment.
Physicians hear some queer diagnoses
! from amateurs sometimes Our friend
DR.. D., was called recently to see sick
man, and upon inquiring of his wife how
he was affected, received in reply: "Wen,
| you see, doctor, the things what he eats
gifts sorter tangled up around his heart and
he suffers awful"
"A Charlestown schoolboy wrote the
following affecting composition on the
fle: THE saddest thing that | kno
aboWt the fer was a bilding that they
were going to blow up. And they forgot
that thir was some little cash bois in the
| bilding. And when it was blown up they
| looked up and their was six little cash
| bois in the air.
-Timid people should avoid England.
A poor little girl was arrested there and
kept week in Jail, simply because she
| looked nervous and afraid, and little
! MOI fro, ffna hol>a
| ly, on his first visit to London, that the
police locked him up. He was the most
harmless creature in the world, and being
| scared was his only offense
| "A Louisville man, who had only been
acqu ainted with his girl two nights, at
tempted to kiss her at the gate In his
| dying deposition he told the doctors that
just as he ''kissed her the earth slid out
| from under his feet, and his soul went
out of his mouth, while his head touched
the stars" Later dispatches show that
| what allied him was the old mans boots.
Two fellows committed heavy rob-
| berry IN New York, the other day. They
entered a bank and while one of them
held a paper before the cashiers face, os-
tensibly to show him some stock reports,
the other seized tin box which, from its
weight, should have contained at least
1000, and made off. On opening the
| box, they found about 100 most excellent
cartridges for large bore shot gun.
| CoNsUMPTIoN.-Fort the cure of this dis
tressing disease there has been no medicine
yet discovered that can show more evidence
OF real merit than ALIENS LUNG BALsAM.
Inns unequaled eXpectOrant, for curing Con-
sumption and all diseases leading to it, such
as affections of the Throat, Lungs, and all
diseases of the Pulmonary Organs, is intro
duced to the suffering public, after its merits
| Tor the positive cure of such diseases have
oeen thoroughly tested by the medical fac
ulty. The Balsam is, CONSEQUENTLY recon.
mended by physicians who have become ac-
quainted with its great success.
| SAlD A PARENT TO A CHILD. t.IUst 1ool-