The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-31
A POrcine Story.

A POrcine Story.
Two families in Slawson have had an
experience somewhat similar to that suf-
fered by Mr.. Cobleigh several weeks
ago. These families live in a double
house, and each had a pen with two
pigs. Last Friday the woman in one
part discovered that her two pigs were
free from their pen, and looking after
geological specimens at the foot of the
yard. She also discovered at the same
time that the gate to cabbage yard ad-
joining was open, and that the pigs
might at any moment become ravished
by view of the glories within Her
husband being away, she hurriedly
secured the gate, and then set about
to return the truants by the following
ingenious plan. Taking shovelful of
corn, she approached as close to the
animals as possible, and, holding the
tempting morsel near enough for them
to learn its inviting character, she
screwed her face into an expression of
winning sweetness, and backed slowly
toward the pen. 1t was beautiful
illustration of woman's faith, and we re-
greet to write that it did not work. The
PlSo toOh Vic Snlu db Vic VI
the shovel, just to show that they took
some interest in the matter, and, being
convinced thereby that there was moth
ing injurious in the experiment, fell to
roofing about again with renewed fer
vor. The nearer the woman came to
the pen the straighter her face grew,
and presently lost every vestige of solic-
itude, and assumed instead an express
sion of medium ferocity. What she
may have done will never be known,
as at this juncture her husband made
his appearance on the back stoOp, and,
her eye resting upon him, she COM
menced to apostrophize him in the Ian
guage married people alone are adopts
at. After requesting somebody to show
him the idiot who had let those hogs
out, that he might punch his head, he
drove straight Mt the truants, and
missed them, of course. Then he drove
at them again with a clothes pole and
another pole by hitting that on a
stone. Any one who has helped to
drive one or two pigs will readily I'M
derstand the number of articles that
passed through the air, and the style of
conversation the man kept up during
the chase. Finally, he got one of the
animals in corner, and, being by this
time utterly regardless of personal APP
pearances or consequences, threw him
self upon the brute, neatly scraping the
fence with the top of his head, and
falling upon the pig in such a way rs to
hold in allegiance every one of its muscles
except those in the throat. These were
at once put in active operation, and the
man for a moment thought that he had
captured planning Then he raised
slowly, keeping tight hold of the
animal, and getting on his feet, and the
pig in his arms, struck out for the pen,
preceded by his wife and the other
woman, and closely and anxiously OBJ
served by all the neighbors for half
mile around. In this way the process
sion laboriously moved; the pig, having
worked it's head to within two inches of
the mans ear, was pouring therein a
tale of unparalleled distress, which, if
not calculated to melt the stoutest heart,
actually threatened to split open the
stoutest head. The man was utterly
powerless to remedy the horror, having
both hands engaged, and could only
twist his ear little out of range, and
scream at the top of his voice his plans
for the future of them hogs" On
reaching the pen, and while in the act
of dumping the bowling viper over the
side, the woman next door made an
unfortunate discovery. Their hogs
were in the pen the truants were hers.
The man, who was still holding the
pig, and might have, with reason, taken
prominent part i'll the debate, con-
tented himself by merely expressing a
hope that he might be damned, and
then trudged around to the other pen,
where he arrived after much unlocked
for tribulation, and again hoisted the
bowling monster up to the top, when
the woman next door made another and
still more remarkable discovery. Her
pigs were in their pen. What's
that ?" screamed the man, who was so
fixed he could not very well see into
the pen, and was obliged to lift his voice
to make himself heard above the din.
"Them amt my pigs" screamed the
woman. "Why amt they ?" he yelled.
"Cause my pigs are here, she shrieked
back. 1t is needless to add that the
strange animals were urged out of that
yard without the use of subterfuge. -
Dandwy NeOs.
RooTs. 1t these are stored in a cellar
under the dwelling rooms, have them
s...l.