The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-04-05

like to take one more 'glanee at the
book. Wherc, oh where am to find
the proportions Of the 'Chester White
SOW" called Mary? ECtes: iaaghter]
Only one year old Bring on your
microscopic bureau. Obierve the length
of that in1r;sitive snout and the COM
pound curl of that tail. Laughter. :
See the lensthening lusciousness of
those lactenl glands ! daughter But
her name it is Mary! Is there t1nn
who ever loved Niary7 TLaughtor.l l
Let him construe our beloved Constitu
ton. Perhaps there is some one here
attached to the Constitution aud to
education will rcproach me for not
mentioning the nphidien reliosun,, or
the p"totor Of Beck. baughter1 Will
the Scotch member from K Kentucky
please explain this melodious termiudl.
ogy which bears his name? daughter. I
Mr. Chairman, have only risen for
the purpose Of having the House undor
stand the astonishing effect of those
agricu tu:al reports, not only upon the
poorle in the country, but the people in
the city. | acknowledge that the effect
is different according to locality. InoW
represent city, though by some nlisap-
prehension in the last campaign the
people of New York State outside OF our
grand metropolis voted for me to repre-,
sent them. | fell short in tie country.
Laughter.] TO be sure l carried that
city by some twenty FIVE thousand |!
Though may not, owing to misappre-
hension, be with you next Congress
Laughter, l must refer 20 the effect
of these reports on the city. The effect
upon the wicked city of Philadelphia,
which acted so badly in the late election
[laushter,l is espe tally notable. | re-
fer to it for the purpose of calling the
attention of my friend from Philadelphia
(Mr. Kelley to the dreadful consequeu
ces he imposes npon his constituents in
sending those reports into the heart sf
Philadelphia. Read very slowly, MIR.
Clerk, the extract send up from the
S.adly Dispatch, of Philadelphia,
Showing the direful effect. of these
:cr:iblc reports. [Ttc Clerk real (c.,a
"rprcsStoa") rs follows i
we owe cnr thnass to Judge Ket!ey
for Tie latest Patent Ofiee report. We
:llrcndy havc sixteen huudrci OF those
int sting volu mcs in our little slibriry,
bu: they have beer read ati rcrcad so
many times that we know evcty page of
them bv heart. This new volume came
orp rtuncIJ ind gratefully on Christ,
iras morning, aud that tight we gathe...
cd our little family around the fire and
al il through to them The affecting
tale, entitled Improvement in Monkey
Wrcnclics,' seemed 10 touch every heart
[laughter.l and when We came to the
c'inlax Of the little story about 'Rsver-
sible Pie Bourds, there 1as not a dry
eye between the front door and the
stable. [Laushtet ] During the read
ing OF the .pteous narrative, Gum
Washers Cor Carriage Axles,' the whole
family gave expression to boisterous
emotion, and the hired girl was so much
excited that sh. lost hor presence of
mind ands went around to her mothers
inadvertently with six pounds of sugar
and buuer-kettle full Of -four, aud came
home at midnight intoxicated. TLaugh
ter We can never sufficiently thank
Judge Kelley for the innocent cri W
mcnt thus furnished us. The memory
of that happy evening will linser in our
minds very much longer than that hired
girl ever fingers when she lights on y
lot Of substance which she thinks will
snit the constitution OF her aged spar
ent. [Great laughter