davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A MoTELY PREACHER-A Virginia paper
reports that during the exhibition of travel
ing menagerie and circus in a town Of that
State, where there was at the time, some re.
ligious cOnvocation in session, the painted
jester of the equestrian ring illustrated his own
serious capacity and greatly affected an audi
ence, in which many church members were
present. by delivering the following homily:
My FRIENDs We have taken in six hun
dred dollars here to. day; more money, | ven
ture to say, than any minister of the gospel in
this community would receive for whole
years services. A large portion of this money
was given by church members, and large
portion of this audience is made up of mem
bers of the church. And yet, when your
preacher asks you to aid in supporting the
gospel, you are too poor to give anything.
Y ct you come here and pay dollars to hear me
talk nonsense. | am fool because | am paid
for it; make my living by it. You profess
to be wise, and yet you support me in my
folly. But perhaps you say you did not come
to see the circus, but animals. If you come
simply to see the animals, why did you not
simply Look at them and leave? Now, is this
not pretty place for Christians to be in? DO
you not feel ashamed of yourselves? You
ought to blush in such a place as this.
The sensation following a speech like this
in such place. from such speaker, may be
imagined. The local clergy availed them.
selves of the spirit thus produced and re.
liglOus revival was attempted.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

MAXIMs AND PROVERBS. "A good servant
makes good master. Confidence is the com
panion Of success. Division and contention are
upheld by pride Exalt wisdom and she will
promote thee. Fugitives fear though they be
not pursued Humility is the foundation OF
virtue. In order to learn we must attend.
Misfortune is a touchstone of friendship. Pos.
sibilities are infinite: Poverty Graves many
tbings, but svarice more. Retire sometimes
for sober consideration. Set not too high a
value on your own abilities. Sharp stomachs
make short graces. Short reckonings make
long friends The longest day must have an
end Unwelcome news is always soon enough
heard
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A Cur ON WHITELAw REID.-For some
time past report has obtained general circu.
lation and credence in New York City, that
Whitelaw Reid of the Tribune, had proposed
marriage to Miss Anna Dickinson and had been
definitely given to understand that he "was
not the man." A few days since Whitelaw
Reid wrote Miss Dickinson requesting her to
allow him to deny through the Tribune the
rumor that he had been ''hatly Tilted by the
eminent lady," The reply he got was SO cut
ting that it will not pass from the memory OF
man for years to come. If can stand the
rumor" writes Miss Dickinson, ''of such pro-
posa, certainly you should experience no
difficulty in bearing the report of the jilting."
Exit Whitelaw.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The "Voz Publica." of Matamoras, AIexi-
can Government organ, in an editorial headed
INVASION" severely criticises General Mac
kensie's raid into Mexico. 1t calls the raid
IAN aggression upon a nation too weak to
resist, and says it is q intended to serve as a
pretext to seize additional territory" The
"Voz" urges the Government of Mexico to
exact reparation, and says that eff this is not
complied with, it will be found that the Mexico
of to-day is not the Mexico of 1886" 1t is
supposed in Matamoras that this article was
telegraphed from the city of Mexico, and is
published to test the feelings of the people OF
the Mexican frontier States.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18
WHOLE NO. 946

There is an aged coored woman in Western
town who does not believe in social equality,
judging from the way she talked to her boy:
'Epreham, come hyar to your mudder, boy.
Whar you bin ?"
"Playin' wi1 de white folkses chillun."
a." You is, ell See hyar, chile, you'll broke
yer old mudder's heart, and bring her gray
hairs in sorrow to de grave, wild yer recklum-
hess an earrings on wild ebil assoayshuns.
Hadn't raised you up in de way you should
ought to goY'
" Yessum."
"Habn't been kline an tender wild you, an
treated you like my own chile, which you is p
Yessum."
Hadn't reezened wild you and prayed you
and deplored de good Lord to wrap you in his
buzzum p
"Yessum."
can isn't | yer naterel detectOr and gardeen
70 de law?"
" Yessum."
Well, den, do you suppose Ise gwine to
hab your morals ruptured by de white trash?"
" No, sab You git in de house dis instep, an
if | eber cOtch you municatin' wild de white
trash any mo, fo' de Lawd, nigga, L IL brake yer
black head Wid brick! -
" Yessum."
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

before an Iowa Justice charged with assaulting
and battering maiden. Investigation showed
that the defendant had merely saluted tho
damsel against her will She was in court,
and gave her testimony looking so very beau
tifully that the Judge was compelled to make
special ruling. He could not, he said, in
conscience fine the man for doing what was
done; for said his Honor, Il have been
obliged to hold on to the arms of my chair to
keep from kissing the complainant myself"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

VALUABLE WT.-King James the First
had as his private chaplain a clergyman named
Mountaigne, with whom he was on very inti-
mate terms. The bishopric of London fell
vacant; and SO equal were the conflicting claims
of the various candidates, that the King was
puzzled whom to select. He confded his per.
plexity to his chaplain, who gave him this ready
and witty advice: "lf ye have faith, and shall
say to this MOuntdigne, BE thou removed, and
be thou cast into the see, it shall be done. !"
The King was so pleased with this apt and arch
suggestion that he acted upon it, and Noun
tagne was made Bishop of London. This is
probably the most successful pun ever made.
Wit does not often obtain such substantial
proofs of appreciation. We recall, however.
another instance, in which single jeu d esprit
brought its author a very handsome recogni-
ton. James Smith, the elder of the two
famous authors of the Rejected Addresses, "
having one evening met at a dinner party, Mr..
Strahan, the Kings printer-who was then
much enfeebled by old age and gout, though
his faculties were still unimpaired-was SO
charmed with the cid gentleman manners and
conversation that the next morning he sent him
the following lines
:" Your lower limbs seemed far from stout
When last | saw you walk
The cause | presently found out
When you began to talk.
The power that props the body's length
In due proportion spread.
In you mounts upwards, and the strength
All settles in the head.
Mr.. Strahan showed his qualification and plea.
sure at the graceful compliment by immediately
executing codicil to his will, bequeathing the
author e3000 1t was worth being a wit il
those davS
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

HEALTH UNDERvALUED. Such is the power
of health that, without its corporation, every
other comfort is as torpid and lifeless as the
powers of vegetation without the sun. And
yet this bliss is commonly thrown away in
thoughtless negligence or in. foolish expert
ments on our own strength. We let it perish
without remembering its value, or waste it to
show how much we have to spare. It is some.
times given up to the management of levity
and chance, and sometimes sold for the ap-
plause of joity and debauchery.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The mania for 6ashy imitation jewelry has
broken out among or bellies again with great
virulence. There must be trace of semi bar
bersm in American society, to account for this
Hottentotish taste.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Maiden Creek-was applied to to contribute
something to the Washington Monument the
agent at the same time presenting picture of
the contemplated structure, for his contempla-
ton. The Dutchman regarded the plate atten-
lively for moment and at length exclaimed:
"Vell, | won't pay nothing toward him, for
don't see no use to built house NIT such
big chimby -
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A widower, ION his third legs says: How
beautiful are the smiles of innocence how
endeariug the sympathes of love how sweet
the solace of friendship!-how lovely the tears
Of affection These, combined, are all charac-
teristic in a woman. They are true poetry of
humanity-rich pearls clustering around tho
altar of domestic happiness.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

''That duck, sir, is real canvass back"
said Jones's landlord at dinner. Canvass all
through, l should think ~ muttered Jones, as
he laid down his knife in despair, after trying
for the third time to saw through a section Of
the ancient fowl.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

At a meeting of the New Church New
Jerusaleml Bible Society, in Cincinnati, Mon
New Church Society in Philadelphia, was re.
ferred to the President and Treasurer. The
following officers were chosen for the ensuing
year: President, Rev. Chauncey Giles, OF
New York; Secretary, Albert Smith, ol
Brooklyn; Treasurer, N. Hobart, of New
York
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

When man gives little significant shrugs
and mysterious insnuating elevations of the
eyebrows, and twists his mouth into disdain-
ful pucker when the name of pretty girl is
mentioned, depend upon it he has tried to make
love to her and been repulsed.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Elizabeth Stuart Phelps is thus described
by the Boston Times "Her looks are fat
contradiction tc her writings, which seem to
represent her as vivacious, hcaIthful person,
overfowing with hope. But on the contrary,
she is frail, sallow, and very i'll, and wears not
bright tint in all her costume to give it
cheerful geam."
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

There is young lady on Fifth Avenue who
is puzzling all her acquaintances as to how
she colors her hair. She changes its color
every other day: one day it will be auburn,
another brown, another golden. another jet
black. How on earth she does it we don't
know, but she does.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Attorney General Williams has rendered an
opinion that the Modoc prisoners who have
violated the known usages of war, may be tried
and punished by military comisSion. A court
martial will, therefore, be convened to try
Captain Jack aud his fellow assassins.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

An exquisitely dressed young gentleman,
after buying another seal to dangle about his
person, said to the jeweler that he would-ah
like to have-ah something engraved on it
ah Ito denote what he was Certainly,
certainly" said the tradesman, "Ill put a
cipher on it. "
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

CONsOEATION.-A lady visited her husband
confined in Jail in a neighboring town. After
tears were shed and sympathy expressed ON
both sides, the lady said There is one con-
ISOLATION left me in my afliction, Edward: l
know where you spend your evenings"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

One of the bluest of Bostoniaus on being
requested by a rich and vulgar young fellow
for permission to marry lone of his girls"
gave this rather crushing reply, Certainly;
which would you prefer, the waitress or the
cook ?"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Secretary Robson, on Saturday, continued
the examination of the survivors of the P6Idris
Esquimaux Joe being among those examined.
No intimation of the character of the testimony
is given from official sources.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Mark Twain, few months after his first
baby was born, was holding it on his knee.
His wife said: "Now confess, Samuel, that you
love the childl' 81 can't do that" replied
the humorist, but am willing to admit that
respect the little thing for its fathers sake"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

One of the bluest of Germantownians, on
being requested by rich and vulgar young
fellow for permission to marry lone of his
girls, gave this rather crushing reply: Ger
tainly Which would you preier-the waitress
or the cook?"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The congregation of the Mount Vernon
Place NJ. K. Church, in Baltimore, held a
jubilee meeting Monday night, in celebration
of the payment of the church debt, $50, 500 of
which was contributed in three weeks. Bishop
Ames and others made addresses.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A minister out West advertises, in the hope
of making young people come forward, that
during the warm weather he will marry them
Tor "a glass OF whisky, dozen eggs, the first
KISS OF the bride, and quarter of pig II
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The nervous diseases fashionable nowadays
render apropos the remark of somebody III I
'sawdust pills would cure half the ills OF
humanity if every man would make his own
sawdust." snt.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A Dutchman, getting excited over an account
of an elopemcnt of married woman, gave his
opinion thus: g IF mine wife runs away init
preeches, if she vas mine fadder p
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The man who had "a will of his own" didn't
get on. very well at home, because his wife had
won't of her own"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

offence for more than one John Jones to live in
the same street. don't object to the name, as
name, understand, but to SO many people
answering to it.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Of all the actions of a man s life, his mar
rage docs least concern other people; yet, of
all actions of his life, it is most meddIed with.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

Certificates from Persons Liring in Smyrna, Del.
would not take one hundred dollars for my Lady s
Friend Washing Machine, could not get anOIhe one
OF the same kind. 1. D. HAMILTON.
cannot now conceive how should be able to get
along without my Lady's Friend.
Mas. DR.. WIN. T. COLLINS.
would not part with my Ladys Friend hardly at
aHy price, f could not gel another Of the same kind
have any other kind Of a Washing Ma.
chine that would have. VIM. HI. BAGGS
My wife would dispose Of any piece of furniture in
our house sooner Than with her Sadys Friend Wash.
ing Machine. DAVID T. SMrTHERS,
Before got the Lady's Friend it took four women
nearly all day to do the washing OF my hotel but now
a boy twelve years old can do the same amount Of
washing by ten eleven O'Clock, and we do the IRON.
ing the same day. CHAS. +. FOXWELL.
sepls6m
For further information apply to
ASA E. WORDEN, Manufacturer,
Agents Wanted Smyrna. Del.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

The young poet who, went about sighing
recently, and now he sighs more than ever.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

A Manayupk boy who attempted to ampu-
tate cats tail has now to do all his seeing
through one eye.. =, nus ''''"s
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18
O e FICIAL Il.
GENERAL NAruRE-No. sI.I

Laws and Resolutions of the United States Pas
scd at the Third Session of the Forty
Second Congress.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18
THE
LADY'S FRIEND
Washing Machine!

1t is said by many ladies that have them In use
that they are very truly named Any person that has
useI the OOly Machine use ibIs one without auy
difficulty; the process of washing is much the same
except That 1t washes much faster. IL will wash about
double the quantity OF goods at a time. 1t will wash
them quIckei and cleaner; it only works hal hard
as the DoIy or any other machine that takes in as
greM bulk OF goods at a time The family size have
The capacity Of washing six sheets in three minutes
have washed with the Hotel size, eight sheets and
eight pillow in three mIHuies in public by the
watch. all made OF tOerably heavy goods What [
saw Of 1t am repared 10 prove by practical demon
stratIon whenever required 10 do
It's believed hy many that clothing washed in this
Machine will last about twice as long as if washed
on the washbOard.
The Price Of this Machine is Reduced 10 suit the
times, from SIS TO SE3 at factory, and freight
added If lrelghied All orders by mai promptly at.
tended to Satisfaction is guaranteed in all cases
ANY person not satisfied after using the Machien siI
months and giving it a fair tr'al. and have no other
reason that II dOes not work satisfactorily such
a one return II, and the money will be refunded
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18

AN ACT making appropriations for the current and contin
geut expenses OF the Indian department and for fulfilling
treaty stpuasns with various Indian tribes, for the
ending June thrtieth, eighteen hundred and
and purposes.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-18
CERTIEICATES

consider the Lady Friend Washing Machine SO
far superior to the Dolly that my DOv Machine is laid
aside and is for sale at half price REV. DANIEL SILL
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-02-21

New PRINCIPAL.--Wc had the pleasure
of making the acquaintance. the other
day, of Mr.. J. II. Pickett, who is now in
charge of our city schools. Mr.. Nc
Naughton is compelled by i'll health to
take a respite from labor for a season,
and Mr. Pickett is acting as Principal
ad interim. He is from Alliance, Ohio,
where he has taught seven years, and
brings the very best credentials of abili-
ty. His pleasant genial manner and un.
pretending style seem already to have
cnthroned him in the confidence and af.
fiction of the pupils beyond displacement
1t is amusing to listen to their enthusi-
astic expressions Of appreciation. If,
unfortunately, Mr.. McNaughton shall
not regain his wasted health, it is not
unlikely that Mr.. Pickett will retain the
position permanently.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-02-21
ELECTION NOTICE.

NOTICE is hereby given to the qualified voters
~ Of the City of Independence, Iowa, that on
Monday March 3, 1873, an election will be held at
the places hereafter named, for the election ofthc
following officers, viz:
Mayor, Treasurer, Assessor. Solicitor, and one
Trustee in each Ward.
Also by direction Of the City Council of said
City the following propositions are submitted to
be voted upon at said election:
i. 'Shal the City Council accept the benefit
of an Act of the Legislature for the creation and
maintenance Of II free public library! Yes
No"
,. Shall the CITY Council purchase Steam
Fire Engine 10 the use of the City? The form OF
the vote shall be. Steam Fire EngincIcs.'
ste am Fire Engine-No.''
The said election will be held at the following
places viz;
In the First Ward at the office ofW II. Barton.
In the Second Ward at the Office of Lee &
Weart
In the Third Ward at Tie Drug Store Of A. d.
Clarke.
In the Fourth Ward at the Cigar Store of Borie
Il Mccarthy.
In the Fifth Ward at the Empire House.
The polls will open at 3 n. IN. ana close at
O'Clock, p. m.
In witness whereof have hercunto
r, set my hand and caused the seal of the
L. 81 city to be attached this 18th day OF Feb
ruary, 1873.
(ATTEsT) VIM. A. JONES, Mayor
JAMES VI. WK.KT. City Clerk. 33w3
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-02-21
DIED..

WILSON. AT the residence Of his father IN tluas
QuetoE, Iowa, Feb 12, 1873, Of Consumption
James S. Wilson, son Of Orsamus and Anteverta
u Wilson.
He was born Dec. 1910, in Wyoming County
N. y, and in 1S41 the family removed TO Bata
via, Kade county H., where he giewup reeeivin:
such educational advantages as q new but thirty
Ing country Afforded. Possessing more than or
binary talent he profted by them, and had near
ly completed his first year in college when the
Rebellion broke ont; his patriotic spirit respond
ed to the call, but friends advising him to COM
plete the year in school, he yielded to their judg
ment but Immediately at its close Joined the And
Regiment of III. Vols; was wounded in two bat
ties. Captured at the battle of Cbiekamanea; ha
languishcd in southern prisons (hrst at Libby
theu Dau villc) where the sufferings OF mind and
body 90 paired his constitution that he never fui
ly recovered from the shock, though he aftefward
served nearly four years in the Regular Army
AS friend SAID "hc was a martyr to slavery.
Ho was loving son, an atfectienate brother, a
warm and true hearted friend, ~ do not feel ia
complain" were his words OIS day of unusual
suffering; he did not question the Kindness OF his
Heavenly Father, though an invalid for three
years, lie said he did not fear to die but hoped
to die easily, and "did not want to feel that be
was alone" His wish was gratifcd: the last
hour WAS peaceful; twas gradual sinking away
to rest, while loving friends surrounded his bed
side; he was not alone.
The funeral was held At the Baptist Church, the
services conducted by Rev. j. Canch, assisted by
the pastors ofthe place.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-02-21
REFEREE'S SALE.

NOTICE is hereby given that on the 2ad day OF
IN March, 1873, at the East front door Of the
Court House, in the city of Independence. Bnch-
anan county, Iowa. the undersigned. Re.erees
appointed by the circuit Court of Buchanan Co.
Iowa. in Il cause wherein Betsy N. Hatch, May
S. Davis and William II. Davis were plaintiffs,
and George f. Hatch, Blanche l.. Hatch and lnez
NJ. Hatch are defendants, will, b. virtue OF the
order of said Circuit Court. proceed TO sell to the
HIGHEST bidd n the following described premises
to-Wii:
The south east quarter of the soHih west quarter
and the west ei~hieen and one-hGlf aCres of the
south west qI;,r r OF ihe southeast quarter; and
the north. east tlGartGr oi the north west qnartei
and commencing at point ten rods west OF the
north cas-, Of the southeast GGarier OF the
Of the southwest quarter: running Hence norm
thirteen fods thence west sixteen and IL lUj RODS
thence north one hundred and forty seven rods
thence west forty rods thence south one hundred
and siyty rods; thence. east ifty-siS and IL iGU
rods to the place Of beginning. All in section
thirty two t3al township eighty eight (SS) north
of range eight. tSt west in Buchanan County,
Iowa containing iii all one hundred forti ope and
IL Gucrtcr acres. and known the H. B. Hatch
place, in Liberty township.
Terms Of sale. one half cash. balance on TWO or
three years time. with interest ai ten per cent
payable annually and secured by Il mortgage on
the promises.
ii. =. HENSHAW,
II. A. KING. Referees.
GEO. II. LAUDERDALE.
Feb. 81, 1879. 3wi.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-02-21

BY law of the session OF Congress, passed
June sth. 1872, it is provided that every officer
soldier or sailor Cor their widow or minor Child
REM who served for ninety days or more. in the
late war are entitled 10 homestead of 100 acre.
of land, to be selected from any of the public
lands OF the United States and the time OF service
or en- istmcnt IL 10 he deducted ont of the time OF
occupancy required TO perfect title Ii the appll
cant has served one. two or more years, or enlist
ed for any of these, or any other period, and wa:
discharged before the expiration OF his time on
account of wounds or disability. the whole time
of service, such period of enlistment, - TO be
deducted. The claimant can make his selection
by an agent as well rs in person, The applicant
may also make his improvements by an agent but
he must in all cases occupy and cultivate one
wear before he can perfect his title. 7 he widow,
the minor orphan children OF such parties. may
enter lands under the provisions of this law II
the soldier or sailor died during the term of acr
vice. the whole term of enlistment shall be de-
Quoted.
The undersigned. J. NJ. Miller proposes TO act
as agent for the selection and location of home
stcads for soldiers and sailors. or their widows
and minor orphan children who may be entitled
to its provisions.
FIRST. Each peace of land is TO be selected on
ly after a careful examination by me in person,
None but first class agricultural lands to be taken.
The aGvaat3ge of timber, water. building stone.
and other advantages, 10 be carefully noted and
considered
SECOND Locations to be made in compact
bodies as can be DONE SO as to secure to settlers
the advantages of civil organizations, schools,
churches, mills, markets, merchants, mechanics.
&c, &c.
THIRD A stipulated fee will be charged in
each case one halt to be paid on applications and
the balance when entry made.