The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-04-19
Trom ths Toledo BIGde)
CONFEDRIT Y ROADs,
(Which Is in the State NV Kentucky
Eah III 1879

Feb. 20, 1873.
The Corners l. Vaughn on Il yoosual. Deekin
Pogram. bless biz old soul, is the same kind,
genial old man that he alluz WIZ. But time hez
plOwed deep furreIs III bis cheeks, and the fetch
NV HE frosty fingers hez whitened his hair, and
chilled the warm currents Nv bis blood. But the
deekin is resined. \ more philossihcnl nacher L
never knowd. He sez that age beg its advant-
8gcs, ez we'll CT It's Disadvantages. Troo, his
blood is colder than in youth, but ez n cOmpen-
sashen he hez 10 drink more hkker. The pleas
IRE NV takin the warmin foods more than COM
psnsates for the disadvantage Nv age.
" But sed | "sposn yoOr finances and Bas-
CONS croOelty won't permit 700 yoor regular
supplies
- there i death"
.'After witch, - replied Joe Bigler, a. VOC will
doubtless be kept warm enough without hkker."
That Joe Bigler alluz put in unpleasant remarks
ae the wrong time.
The Corners hev him threatened with serious
disasters for some weeks back. Pollock and Joe
Bigler, fur the express purpose NV worryin the
saints, hey bin tryIn 10 organise a temperance
society and Sunday school, and that sort Wv things
at the Corners, witch we steadiastly opposed.
They wanted u series NV temperance lectures, at
this place, by a temperance missionary sent out
by the nashnel society, and when they advertised
him we sent a note to EN- that we never could
permit an innOvashen that wuZ intended TO sweep
away all the anshent landmarks, and revolution
ise the Corners, and that while we believed in
free speech, CT the inalienable right NV AmerlkIn
citizens, eff that man attempted TO speak at the
Corners, we'd hang him to the first Treasure.
That afternoon Joe Bigler came TO me and took
me to one s de.
"Parson,' sed be, we are agoin to hev at
least one temperance lecture in the Corners"
{" 1t Will be cur painful dooty to hang the
lectrcr," sed |, : for Bascom desires it. Its a
in~terlerin with his trade and our rites
sParson,' - said Joe, with a wink and a leer,
'ain't 700 often sick for want NV a drink"
~ am" scd l..
Isn't it difficult to git all you want" sed he.
What would 700 give for a strate week Nv all
700 Good lay to-free likker in short ?''
81 shood be willin to die the next day." l
replied, "die with neetnis and despatch. But
WIS torment me with SIGH visions of Elysian bliss,
witch are simply matchmaker
'Parson, spose Deekin Pogram wuz to say to
BascOm, that these meetins coodent be stopped,
and that the only way to noOtralise their effect,
wuz to keep the Corners from attcndin by maxim
his bar free doOrin their continyoOance. Spose,
if he didn't bite at the beginnin, that a dozen NV
700 go to the meetin one mite and not go near his
place. i don't want 700 to do this, for ez 700
never pay nOthin, yoOr absence would please him,
but McPelter, ISsacher Gavitt and sum Nv that
kind who bev land yet TO mortgage. That'l
fetch him-thatll fetch him."
/ seed n lite. Visions of unlimited drinks rose
before me, and | sed to him
"Joseph, it shell he done. Announce yoor
lectrer in safety. ! hate bis sentimence, Joseph,
but free speech is the heritage and boast NV
every freeman, and it shell not be violated at the
Corners. Advertise him in peace"
l imejitly wei. to the Deekin. McPelter and
Gayitt, and opened to them the idea, and they
fell into it to wunst. 1t wuz refreshin to see the
look NV expectancy on their bloc lips and their
wan faces. | was deppytized to make the sejes-
ton to Bascom, witch ] imejitly did.
| laid before G.. w. the impOssibility of checkin
the movement now bein inoggerated by Bigler
and Pollock, and the danger that wuz conceded
in it. ] told him that only by keepin the people
Nv the Corners away from the accused fanatics,
Good their work be made Ruthless, and thar only
by THROWN open his house and by putin up a
notice, a. Likker is free here could they be
kept away.
BascOm laried out and refOosed. Whereupon l
sed very well, and left.
Immejitly l got the party together.
Bascem hez refoosed," L remarkt, "ez l
sposed he wood. Now fur severe measures. You
must all go to the temperance meetin to-nite, and
must stop in after it's over, and refoose to drink,
on the score that you've bin impressed"
go without likker Une whole evenin! ParsOn,
we can't do it,
Here wuz an impediment which l he'd over
looked. Nv course they couldent go without
likker n hull eyenin. But genius is ekal to ali
emergencics-bein ekal to all emergencies is what
constitoots genius. We had a farmer 60 to Bas-
CONS and buy a gallon.
Then DeekIn POgram remarked that probably
lie had better not 90 to the meetin, but wood stay
and take keer NV that jug, but they all sed 'No"
unanimously, and each made the same propOsishen
wIch wuz towunst rejected by the others. Fin
ally, the jug wuz put in charge NV Mrs. McPelter,
who can't drink, OWN to her hevin no stomach
watever to speek NV, and she wuz charged to put
it under lock and key, and to git it out for nobody
Onless we all wuz present, so that there Good be
no advantage taken. This beiu done, they all
S,nl- ~ ppIG pra rufoh Hrn,I ,StoI ao Fnr nm
hour, and went to the lekter, levin me with
Bascom.
Eight and nine passed, but not one NV EN- come
to his old familiar place. Bascom wuz Uneasy. l
took suthin hot with him twice or three times,
and talked NV the weather and things, but they
came not. Finally, at % they entered, lookin
grave and solemn.
"Deekin, McPclter, Issaker, will you take
suthin,' - sed |, diplayin a dollar note witch the
deekin he'd given me for the purpose.
MOI sed the deekin, &" am not shoor about
drinkin. l Lev listened to a powerful discourse
about it tonight, and | hev mostly made up my
mind to try and quit, if kin"
~ too have made up my mind TO quit" sed
IsSaker, and NIcPelter echoed him. Good night,
Bascom,' and we all went out together to
McPelter's, where we made the Jug ~consumptive.
Bascom was thoroughly alarmed. The next
mite he put up a sign IN his wmder, "Likkers
is free here till further motifs" witch l stood and
read to the people, who but for me never wood
hev knOwd 1t.
That mite the lectrer lectered, but it wuz not
to us. Bascom worked ez be never worked before.
The deekin went down first, Issaker next, McPelter
next, and finally l succumbed. BY this time the
deekin wuz sober, then Issaker, then McPelter
and then me and so on till we wuz all thoroly
exhausted at about /, when we quit.
The same scene was enacted the next mite and
the next, and for a week. Bascom wuz neerly
rooined, but wuz restored by the announcement
that the next mite would be the last. Then that
wretched lectrer's life wuz made miserable. He
wuz at Pollocks' home, and from early morn TO
dewy eve he wuz besieged by such another host Nv
inebriates ez he never saw before IN all his days,
NTH arfr.o-ios n a.. - ~