The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-10-03
scrssoRrSes.

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Of Charleston, S. c., has reached
2,014 words atig
The man who wrote. II am sad
dest when 7 sing. : vas foolish if be
sang inuch.a nsssgssAa9
"Pilot, you needn't wait any long
er; it is starlight over head" !" Yes,
but amt goin' that way.p
A Bridgeport minister uses postal
cards to- invite delinquent church
members tp prayer meeting.
The Minneapolis Times asks:
"Shall the city be holocausted for
the want Of steamers and reservoirs"
Give it up, 9l
They call Mrs. Wray, Of Georgia,
unfeeling because she chewed gum
while her husband was being laid
away in the silent tomb.q aIa efHi
awDr. o. O. DeWolf is d Chicago
pbysicianu The sudden and un-
expected announcement Of his name
might startle nervous patient,
. li 'l.Ny FstIa. vi 10
Bismarck stopped the execution Of
the Persian's chamberlain at Berlin,
but the Shah will get ahead of him
when tley reach Teheran, uaI
sdAn enterprising drummer in Ala
bama presented an editor with two
plugs of tobacco, aud elected half
column puff in grateful return.
Scandals over Illinois divorce laws
continue. Depriving a wife Of either
or both Of her ears has now been
Jadjudged1A sufficient ground for
divorce there, Hiaos ssfl bsiT5y
The Marysyille, Ky.,. Bulletin an
noupces . Sunday-school picnic, and
"trply hopes that for once our ci6-.
zens will leave their reycl7ers and
bowie knivesa home. iig diiF
ID A Texan town was recently visited
by clergyman for the first time in
its history, and the hpspitable. in
habitants proposed getting up a
horse-race for his entertainment.
A New Orleans Juryman was asked
by the Judge if he ever read the
papers. He replied; Yes, your
honor; but if you'll let me go this
time, I'll never do SO any more" !"
Enthusiastic Pedestrian-"Am /
on the right road for Stratford-
Shakespeare town you know2 You've
often heard of Shakespeare?o In,
telligent British rustic. "Yees; be
you heP"
''1f you don't want the SCOT, don't
go up the chimney" was the reply
Of an editor to "lespeetablen parties
who. requested him mot to mention
the fact that they had been arraigned
in the police court,
A Narcotic. Doctor Look here,
Mrs. McCawdie, don't give him any
more physic. A sound sleepwill do
him more good than anything"
Gudewife-r"E-h N DocthorH ii we
could only get him tae the kirk. ."aa
i, Only last week q beloved and gra-
cious Princess. Marchioness attended
at Wimbledon-so says q daily paper
to "witness the shooting Of her
husbands And they have been
married but little more then year.
"a lady, in rapid pursuit Of health
at Saratoga, boasted TO her physician,
whom she met as she was leaving the
spring, II have just drank FIVE
glasses Of Congress-" "Tben don't
let me detain nyou." was the quiet
sai3s adi
The gentleman who asserted that
his friend never opened his mouth
without putting his foot in, being
called upon to apologize, said be was
very sorry, but when he made the
assertion he did not see the size Of
bis friends foot.
"The University Press at Madison,
Wis, in publishing the course OF
study at the State University, printed
"comic lectures In the list OF studies
for the first term of the Sophomore
year, where the professor had written
"conic sections"
"Yes, take her and welcome" 70.
sponded an Illinois farmer, when a
young man asked for his blushing
daughter "Shes run away with o
school master, eloped with show
man, shot d wildcat. and whipped
her mother, and the sooner you take
her the better" nW s8 m&iaa
Two Milesians were standing ut
the Fairmount water-works in Phila.
delphia, watching the big wheels
splashing the water in every direct
ION, when one Of them remarked,
mike isn't this a quare country,
where they have 70 grind their water
before they can use it9"
A Brooklyn girl has applied to
Wise for passage in his balloon, and
the professor declares himself willing
to take her if she will take parasol,
and wear a full hoop skirt. so that
she may bc safely dropped out, i il
becomes necessary 10 communicate
with the land anywhere Between
there and Europe.
Caleb Cushing says that he ls,
lieves bis late affair about the yellow
dog has given him greater Dotoriety
than any other act Of his life, He il
constantly receiving newspapers con-
tanning editorial comments on the
suit, aud people point him out in the
streets as the man who put On in
junction on that dog
A paragraph is going the rounds
Of the press to the effect that at
Lafayette, Ind, the papers are com
planning ii right down earnest bo-
cause troops Of girls 60 in swimming
in conspicuous places in the river.
1t is doyice Of tho newspapers TO
draw the attention OF rest-seekers TO
the charms Of Lafayette as water
ing place.
- --7 VT q
The Marshall County (Iowa) ISmss