Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1873-07-19
MELANGE.

|
Over 200 New England spinsters went
al matrinony.
Brunswick, Me-, manifested its me-
| Theological cccentricity in a heavy frost
one night last week.
| A recent freshet in Clinton, Wis.
| washed away enough soil to disclose
rich unsuspected lead mine.
| A suburban resident remarks that the
reaping machine is .'some,' but the Ex-
| celsior is mower.
Moribund citizens of Lyons, France,
are officially notified that they must be
buried before seven O'Clock A. NJ.
New Hampshire agriculturelist say
that the grain-heppers are likely TO be
| rendered useless by the profuse compe-
tition of grasshoppers.
Arrack punch is announced on the
| show caads in some fashionable bar
rooms. Persons who drink it say that
it is apt to give racking headache.
The authorities of st. Louis will no
longer allow policemen the innocent
amusement of practice pistol shooting at
casual caHines in crowded streets.
Somebody asks why it is that theatres
are seldom, if ever, struck by lightning,
tie SOiuIiOli vi WHICH, COnunuIum Is tnal
every orchestra has conductor.
An enterprising resident of Pittsfield
Mass, wishes to publish city directory
has been obliged, as preliminary step,
TO number all the houses.
| The difference between the moderns
and the ancients, according TO a civil
service reformer, is that the former earn
their living whilst the latter urned their
dead. .
A young man who 'snever told "a lie''
has been engaged by Barnum to describe
the interesting animal supposed to be
the Bemoth mentioned in the Scrip
tures.
Twenty-eight different kinds of ''bit-
ters" sold in Rhode Island for ''strictly
medicinal use" are undergoing analysis
by the State chemist for an excise point
of view.
The apothecaries of Haverhill, Mass,
have resolved to sell liquor only on
physiciacs' prescriptions, and all the
doctors i'll the place are setting up new
establishments.
A German in Buffalo fell into beer
vat the other day and was drowned. He
drank as hard as he could to save him
self and would have succeeded has not
floating cork choked him.
The pen is mightier than the sword,
| and the greatest writer who ever lived
is the Baron Jules, for his pen won him
more OF Persia than the sword of Alex
anler the Great could conquer.
A Toledo youth proposes to achieve
greatness by carrying Il bag of flour
through four states. II he could in
clude Rhode Island and New Jersey, il
wouldn't be much OF II walk.
Pa. 7 -
enough kerosene storeliouses and whisky
distilleries to take the shine out of Chic
ago and Boston in the matter OF great
fires one of these days.
One alumnus of Yale has refused to
vote in the election for members Of the
college corporation because he disap-
proves of the Immoral practice of smok-
ing cigars at the annual alumni din
| ner.
He who eats twenty-four pound loaves
of bread imbibes therein the alcoholic
eyuiVolent to Il bottle of port wine,
Hence it is clearly the duty of the excise
commissioners TO prohibit the use OF
bread on Sundays.
Boston paper pertinently asks if the
various towns which are introducing
| water works all oyer the country are
also making sufficient provision for
sewerage. Unfortunately this is not a
| sure age for such peecauIion.
An Illinois magistrate has fined
| man $40 for cutting of his wiio's bacl.
hair. Under what statue such an oifensG
| is ranked we are not insormed. Perhaps
| under the wendral head of barharaus
| treatment and shear brutality.
The champian lobster has been cap
| tured about twenty miles from Portland
| r,.f In. .l,,.
from tip to tip of the extended claws,
and would require about twelve heads
| of lettuce to dress it into Il salad.
The first mule ever taken into the
Hoosac Tunnel was brought up recently
| after a three years residence in the bow
els of the earth He began to kick Wig
| orously as soon as he reached the sur
| lace-a thing he was never known to do
| before.
| The total abstinence of hoot-iacks,
pouatunl- pots, aud other household mis-
| sles in the remains of the Swiss fascus-
tine villages, leads DIR. Hartman, the
distinguished ethologiSt, to the conclu-
| sion that the domestic cat WAS unknown
to prehistoric man.
Saratoga trunks on the brain" is
now fully recognized by the medical
| faculty as a malady peculiar 10 the fash
/
liant imbecile says that the trunks have
an advantage over the women, inaSmuch
as they wear their own locks, which the
women don't
An Omaha man desiring to get ril al
his mother-in-law at very short notice,
induced her to 81 read nitro-glycerine on
| her back 10 cure lum mbago, and then APP
ply hot flat iron. At the latest ac-
counts they had sent into an adjoining
county to try and get enough OF the wo-
man together to hold an inquest.
Mr.. John Shearer aud his wife went
up in balloon from Reading Pa, a day
or two ago attained an attitude OF two
aud one half miles, and landed safely
seven miles from the point of starting.
They We're picking up pebbles ON the
shore of that great sea which Professor
| Wise threatens tn explore or die in the
attempt.
The Emperor of China, in two official
edits, announces the degridrtion and
punishment OF Che Chief of the Eunuchs
tor 'hanlling the dishes careleSsly, ''and
Of the Chief OF the stables for mot he
ing punctual and having his beasts la
had condition. all OF which goes 10
show that frkin IL not preferable to
| New York rs n place q; residence for the
average American waters and hack
men.
The Second AdNentists Of Belfast Ne.
are SreiveouslV disappointed that the
world did not come tu an end, rs per ar
pointment, on Tuesday OF last week 4;
FOR which date they had made all sorts
at celestial preparations, to the entire
exclusion of such Terrestrial tririalties
as setting ont crops. Aud nov, haVing y
Failed To die or he translated, they don Z
know how they're Ia live.
An East haddam, Conn.,, COW is repor-
ted to have "caught small poN from her
owner" aud the authorities debated some
time whether they should have her
Killed 10 prevent her spreading the con
taSion. No one seems Ia have know "A
! enough to utilize her for vaccination ;
the true "vaccine disease" being simply
smallpox as manifested in the bovine
5 species and not communicable to man
except through incubation.