River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-10-14

F man marries ballet dancer will
his children have step-mother

E man marries ballet dancer will
his children have step-mother
IRONY. -Tummas-Well, Mrs. Simp.
son, and 'ow be the milk in these parts
are rose
"EMMA, said little girl to school
mate, wouldn't it be awful il some
body should shoot our schoolmistressl"
Yes, was the reply, "but wouldn't
it be nice not to have any school?p
erred, said young man. walking
up State street, in Chicago, the other
day, after listening to his wonderful
story, edo you know why you are like
a harp struck by lightning Z :" No."
says Fred give it up" Because
harp struck by lightning is a blasted
Tyre"
A NEW version Of s'Old Uncle Ned y
has become popular in the suburbs. IL
runs something as follows Then
pull up the wicket and the stake, and
put by the mallet and ball for no
more croquet II be played this year
it's getting too late in the fall.
A YOUNG graduate OF theological
schot | began a sermon before a parish
without a minister by saying: 81 ac
cept the Universe, but reject the idea
OF personal God and Noah's flood"
VINO made your" was asked by a
school teacher of small girl. She
replied, :" God made me that length, -
indicating the length of newly born
infant, land | growed the rest myself. f"
A LITTLE girl who had been taught
TO offer prayer to God before retiring
TO rest nights, was with her mother at
a seaside watering place, where there
were some other visitors, among them
| few ministers. She was reminded, on
preparing for bed one night, that she
bad neglected Offering her usual prayer.
With manifest feeling that all was
right with her, she replied Why.
ministers are here on preaching vaca-
ton / am tired aud want a praying
vacation.
|. THE following is going the rounds OF
the papers: "At grand Sunday
School picnic in All ghany county last
week, gilt-edged Bible was offered as
a prize to any one who would repeat
the Lords Prayer verbatim, as found
in the 9th chapter of Matthew. Not
one in the audience could do it. The
man who offered the prize was asked to
repeat ii, but failed. This is as good
as the story of the two Congressman
who made a wager that one of them
could not say the Lords Prayer He
commenced, Now | lay me down tc
sleep, &c, and when he had finished
the familiar four lines, the other relin,
pushed tine money with the remark
well, | had no idea before that you
could do it. /"
A METHODIST preacher, having a
charge in the southern portion of Giles
county, went to call upon one of hi,
members not long since, and was very
cordially greeted, and earnestly en-
treated To make himself perfectly al
home. The lady then stepped out tC
"wring " the chicken, aud, when sh,
come back, found the parson in the acl
of taking the ashes from the fire. place
and putting them in the scuttle, pre-
paratory to carrying them out. "Lol
me, Brother --, what are you doing
that for I" "You told me 10 make
myself at home, madame. aud If Ia
been No home aud found all these ashes
in the fire place. | would certainly have
taken them up" Wilted, did she
Don't you bet on Giles lady being
thus easily outwitted. She went back
to the kitchen, stuck every feather
back in that chicken, sewed its head
on, and the smart preacher didn't get !
bit of il