The weekly Oskaloosa herald. [volume] (Oskaloosa, Iowa) 1855-1885, 1873-04-17
From the Toledo Blade.
NASBY AND TEMPERANCE

| MASSEY AND TEMPERANCE.
A Temperance Lecturer at the Corners
How Mr.. Bascom attempted to kill
| his influence.
| CoNFEDERIT ROADS,
| Gwich ia in the State Nv KentuckylS
| Feb. 20, 1873.
The Corners is waggin on ez yoo-
| sual. Deekin Pogram, bless his old
| soul, is the same kind, genial old
m an that he alluz wuz, But time hez
plowed deep furrers in hiz cheeks,
and the tech Nv hiz frosty fingers hez
| whitened biz hair, and chilled the
warm currents NV his blood. But
the Deekin lie resined. A more phil
ossofcal nacher ] never knowed.-
| He sez that age hez its advantages,
ez we'll ez it's disadvantages. True,
his blood IL colder than in youth, but
ez compensashen he hez to drink
| more likker. The pleasure Nv takin
the warmin fluids more than compen-
| safes for the disadvantages Nv age.
"But," sez I, "sposin finances and
Bascom's cruelty won't permit yoo
your regler supplies" .
"There is the silent tomb for me, y
sed he, "there is death"
"After wich," replied Joe Bigler,
"yoo will doubtless be kept warm
enough without likker."
That Joe Bigler allus puts in un-
pleasant remarks at the wrong place.
The Corners hav bin threatened
with serious disasters for some weeks
back. Pollock and Joe Bigler, fur
the express purpose of worryin the
saints, hev been tryin to organize a
temperance society and Sunday
school and that sort NV thing at the
Corners, wich we steadfastly oppos-
ed. They wanted series of tenn
perance lectures at this place, by a
temprence missionary sent out by the
Nashnel Society, and when they ad-
vertised him, we sent note to 'em
that we never could permit an limo.
vashen that wuz intended to sweep
away all the ansient landmarks, and
revolutionize the Corners, and that
while we believed in free speech ez
the inalienable right Nv Ameriken
citizens, eft that man attempted to
speak at the Corners, we'd hang him
to the first treasure.
That afternoon, Joe Bigler came to
me and took me to one side.
"Parson," sed he, "we are goin to
hev at least one temperance lecture
at the Corners"
s:It will be our painful duty to
hang the lectrer," sed /, ,,for BascOm
desires it. Its interferin with his
trade and our rights"
"Parson," sed Joe, Saint you Of
ten sick fer want of a drink ?"
81 am" sed l.
"Isn't it difficult to git all you
want ?'' sed he.
cit is," sed !.
"What would you give fer strate
week NV all yoo Good lay to-free
likker in short ?"
81 shood be willin to die the next
day,"I replied, "die with neetnis
and dispatch. But why torment me
with sich visions of Elyslan bliss,
wich 700 know are simply unattaina-
BILE ?"
"Parson, spose Deekin Pogram
wuz to say to Bascom, that these
meetins couldn't be stopped, and
that the only way to nootralize their
effect, WIZ to keep the Corners froE,
attendin by maxim his bar free durin
their continyooance. Spose, ef he
didn't bite at the beginnin, that a
dozen of you 60 to the meetin one
mite, and not go near his place. /
don't want YOU to do this, for yu new
er pay nothin, yoor absence wood
please him--but McPelter, Issacher
Gavitt and sum NV that kind, who
hev land yet to mortgage. That'll
fetch him.
| seed lite. Visions of unlimited
drinks rose before me, and | sed to
him:
"Joseph, it shell be done. An
nounce your lectrer in safety. hate
his sentimence, Joseph, but free
speech is the heritage and boast Nv
every freeman, and it shell not be vi
olated at the Corners. Advertise
him in peace"
l immejitly went to the Deekin,
McPelter and Gavitt, and opened to
them the idea, and they fell in with
it to wunst. 1t wuz refreshin to see
the look of expectancy on their bloc
lips and their wan faces. was dep.
pytized to make the sejestion to Bas.
com, wich / immejitly did.
l laid before G. w. the impossi-
bility of checkin the movement now
bein inoggerated by Bigler and Pol
lock, and the danger that wuz con-
ceeled in it. told him that only by
keepin the people Nv the Corners
away from the accursed fanatics,
| Good their work be made fruitless,
and that only by THROWN open his
house and by putin up notis, elk
ker is free here" could they be kept
away.
Bascom larfed out and refoosed.-
Whereupon l sed very well, and
left.
Immejitly 1 got the party togeth'
| er.
'"Bascom hez retoosed," re-
markt, "ez l sposed he wood. Now
| for severe measures. You must all
90 to the temperance meeting to-
| night, and must stop in after its over
and refoose to drink, on the score
that you've been very deeply i'm
pressed"
"Go without likker one whole eve
min? Parson we can't do it."
Here wux an impediment wich
he'd overlooked. Wv course, they
couldn't go without likker hull eve
min. But genius is ekal to all emer
gencies-bein ekal to all emergencies
is wat constitutes genius. We he'd Z
farmer 60 to Bascom's and buy &
gallon.
Then DeekiR Pogram remarkt thai
probably he had better not go to the
meetin, but wood stay and take keel
Nv that Jug, but they all sed "No'
unanimously, and each made tn.
same proposition wich wuz towuns
rejected by the others. Finally thu
jug was put In charge of Mrs. Mo
lPelter, who can't drink, owin to hel
| hayin no stomach Wateyer to speaI