The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-07-24

told another that he had two sons-both
boys.
Why is early grass like penknife? be-
cause the spring rings the blades.
Very Certain.--The surest way to lose
keep drinking other peoples.
The book to whsch reference..is most fre-
qucnty made nowadays-the pocketbook.
IF your uncles sister is not your aunt,
what relation is to you? Sheis your moth
er.
:. Pat was asked the other day ifhe under
stood French. ayes, yer honor, if it's spo-
ken in Irish"
A young man who was asked by his sweet
heart what photography was, took out his
pencil and wrote the following, and said it,
was photography: u R A B U I, l. n"
Why is aspan who makes additions to a
false rumor like one who has confidence in
all that is told him.? Because he relies on
all that he hears.
There is a time for oil things. The time
toleave is when a young lady asks you what
kind Of a day it is for walking. ..
How would you express, in two letters,
that you were twice the size Of your compan-
ions ? Nv Il double you.)
A cloth saturated with chloroform and
applied to the wound, is said to be sure cure
for rattlesnake bite.
Did the man who plowcd the seas, and af-
terward planted his foot upon his native soil,
ever har1aath bis crops lr.:s,,.s-.rs5sr.
- ss;,as =. =; 3 81 ! - = Z -
ried to her seventh husband. The other six
ex-lords are all alive and doing well-much
better than the last victim.
A schoolmaster, on being asked what was
meant by the word "fortifcation," answered,
1.-TWO twentyfcations make fortifcation."
Mrs. Thompson, who died near Glasgow,
Scotland, recently, in the eighty-6ftth year
of her age, was the daughter Of the poet
Burns.
The cost of maintaining the public schools
of New York for the coming year will be
s3,35GO00. OF this sum the teachers will
receive a little over S2,00O,000.
Beast Buffers fayorite exercises are said
to be walking for his health and running
for office. 1t is said he has gone to Fire
Island to get accimated, as his chances ap-
pear good for warm latitude eventually
The Australians never sue for divorce.
When q husband gets discouraged, he takes
his wife to the brow of cliff to view the
gorgeous sunset, and over she goes.
A Georgia woman is credited with raising
Il large family, although not out of her teens.
1t was her mothcr-in-law's family, and she
did it with keg Of gunpowder planted in
the cellar.
A youth and maiden were dancing the
lancer. In the course Of the insane conver-
ton which the dance necssitates, he took to
questioning her about her accomplishments.
:. DO YOU paint ?" He asked. lie wonders
what on earth she got mad about.
A Portland man was caught fishing for
trout on another mans land the other day;
the owner demonstrated, but retired in ST.
lence before the majestic answer. "Who
wants to catch your trout? I'm only trying
to drop in this worm"
4 Brooklyn sea captain, just returned
from tour of the Holy, Land, expressed
himself as digustcd with Jerusalem. ut is
the mcancst place ever visited. There is
not drop of.liquor in the whole town tit to
drink"
An Irish physician was called to examine
the corpse of another lrlshman, who had
been assassinatcd by some Of his countrymen.
This rcrson." said he, after inspecting the
hodv twas so i'll that if he had not been
murdered, he would have died half an hour
| before"
A nicely dressed gentleman applied for
marriage license at Dover Tennessee, last
week but when he spoke the lady's name
the polite County Clerk suggested that, if it
was all the same to him, he would prefer
that he should name some other party, as the
ono mentioned had become his wife the pre-
yious evening.
"po YOU like chickcns?" asked remark
ably modest Nashville youth Of his sweetness,
as he was walking about two feet from her
on his way from the church, last Sunday
night. "Ccrtainly do" she replied "why
do you asl, such a question as that ~ Be-
cause thought if you liked chickens, you
wouldn't object to taking a wing" and he
crooked his arm in an irresistible manner.
Sweetness took wing.