American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-08-02
Natural and Unnatural AriStOkrats.

NATUR furnishes all the nOblcmen w,
hav.
She holds the patient.
Pedigree haZ no more to do in making
| a man aktually greater than he IL, than {
pekok's feather in his hat Iaz in making
him aktually taller.
ThiZ IL a hard pl,akt for sum tew learn
The mundane earth IL thik with male
and tcmail ones, who think they are CRATE
bckause their Ancestor wuZ lucky in the
sope or tobacco trade, and altho the sope
haz run ont sum time since, they try tew
phool themselves and other folks with the
spls.
Sope slds IL prekarious bubble.
Thare amt nothing so thin on the ribs
az a sope suds aristokrat. -
When the world stands in need of an
aristokrat, natur pitches one into it, and
furnishes him papers without emmy flaw
in them.
Aristokrasy kant be transmitted, natur
seZ so, in the papers.
Titles are plan got up hi humans few
assist natur in promulgating aristokrasy.
Titles amt NV emmy more real use or
necessity than dog collars are.
hav seen dog collars that kost three
dollars on dogs that want worth, in emmy
market, over S71s cents.
This liz CRATE waste Ov collar, and Il
CRATE damage tew the dog.
Natur don't put but one ingredient into
her kind ov aristokrasy, and that liz viz
tew.
She vets up the virtew sumtimes with
a little pepper sass, just to make it lively.
She SEE that all other kinds are false,
and beleave natur.
| wish every man and woman on earth
waZ a bloated aristOkrat, bloated with viz
tew.
Earthly manufactured aristOkrats are
made principally out NV mummy.
Forty years ago it took about s. thou
sand dollars tew make gOod-siZed aristO-
KRAFT, and innokulate hiz family with the
same disseaze, but it takes now about 600
thousand tew throw the partys into fits.
Aristokrasy, like all other breed stuffs,
haz riz.
1t don't take emmy more virtew tew
make an aristolrat now, nor clothes, than
it did in the daZc ov Abraham.
Virtew don't vary.
Virtew IL the standard ov values.
Clothes amt.
Tiles amt.
A man kan go barefoot, and be virtew-
Gus, and be an aristokrat.
DiOgoneZe waZ an aristokrat
HiZ brown stone front waZ tub, and it
want on end at that.
Virtew will often make yure granddady
CRATE and yu mean, hi komparison.
Next tew virtew in getting up hclthy
aristokrat Gums genius.
TheZe are called brane aristOkrats.
| luv tew watch the worldly aristokrats,
they set me tew laffing-i latf tew see how
jelous they are ov each other.
This liz one the best ways that haZ
bin discovered yet tew pick out the bogus
aristokrats.
Natur's arstokrats aint jelous ov each
other emmy more than pure Christians
are
An American aristokrat IL the most
ridkilus thing in market. They are gen
orally ashamed ov their ancestors, and, if
they hav emmy, and liv long enuf, they
generally hav cauZc tew be ashamed ov
their posterity.
kno ov sevral familys in Amerika who
are trieing tew liv on their aristokrasy.
The money and branes Civ out some time
ago.
1t IL hard SCRATCHING for them.
Yu kan warm up cold potatoze and liv
on them, but yu kant warm up aristokrat-
TX pride and git even a smell.
Yu mite az well undertake tcw raZe
krop ov korn in a deserted brik yard by
manuring the ground heavy with tan
bark-N. y. Weekly.