Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-06-04
Tho pieasureso f Horticulture
rho Man who would have ! Gardcn

Nv
Tho Man Who svsuid have . Garden
The Danbury News sayss 1--WE
suppose there is a tilnc that comes
to every man when he feels ho should
like to have a garden. II he takes
sach.anotion ho will tell his wife OF
1t. Tkisis the tirst mistake hcslakcs
and tho ground thus lostis never fully
recovered. She draws her chair up
lto his, and lays one hand on his knee,
purses up her lips into . whistle of
expectation-tho- 8ixen-and tells
about her mothers garden, aud how
nice IL is to have vegetables fresh
from the vines every morning, and
she will so right out and plan the
whole thing herself. And sos sllo
docs. He takes his spade, and works
himself into a p%erspiration, and she
tramps around under a frightful sum
bonnet, and gets under his feet and
shrieks at the worms, and loses her
shoe /; aud makes him first vcxcd, and
then mad, and thea fcrocious. After
tho garden has been spaded he gets
the seed, and finds that she has been
thoughtful to open the papers, aud
empty thirteen varieties of different
vegetables into one dish. This leads
him to step out doors, where he cav
commune with nature alone for a
moment. Then he takes up the seed
and a hoe, and q line and two pegs
and starts for the garden. And the,r
she puts oil that awful bonnet, and
brings up the rear with q long-han-
died rake aud q pockct-ful of beans
and petunia seed AMI dahlia bulbs.
While he isplanting she stands on the
cucumber hills, and rakcs over. the
seed-pan. Then she puts the rake
handle over her shoulder, and the
rake into his kair, and walks overthe
other beds. He don't find the squash
seed until she moves, and then he
digs them out Of the earth with his
thumb. She plants the beet seed her.
self, putting about two feet of Garth
and sod upon them. Then she takes
advantage of lis absorption i'll other
matters and lats down the petunia
seed in one spot, and afterwards digs
them up, and puts them down in an
other place. The beans she conceals
in the earth wherever she can find a
a place, and puts the bulbs in the Gu
cumber hills. Then she tips over the
sced-pan again, and apologies, and
steps OH two of the best tomato |
plants, ooh, my! which in no way
resembles what he says. About this
time she discovers a better place for
the p%etunia seed, but having, forgot
ten where she last put them, She pro-
ceeds to find them, and within an in
credible brief space Of time succeeds
in uncarthing pretty much every
thing that has been put down. After
confusing things so there is no Garth
ly possibility of %unravelling them
again she says the sun is killing her,
aud goes over TO the fence where she
four hours telling the woman
next door about an aunt Of hers who
confined TO her bed for eleven
years, and had eight doctors from
city, but nothing would give her
my relief until an old lady-but you
nave heard it before. The next day
l man comes TO his office to get pay
or n patent seed-sowcr which his
wife las ordered, and he 10 more
han gets away before the patentee
Of a now lawn-Inowcr curncs i'll with
Ill order for ten dollars, and lie in
turn is followed by the corn-sheilcr
man, and the miserable gardener
starts for home 10 head off tho rob-
bers, and finds his wife at the gate
with his W hat OH, and just about
% close a bargain with asmoth-faccd
individual for a two hundred dollar
machine, and a pearl-han-
lied, lvory-mountcd ~hay-cutter. lie
irst knocks the agricultural imple-
agent on the head, and then
irags the miserable woman into the
house, and. locking the door, gives
himself up TO his emotions"