Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-01-22
fHE FRONTIER WEDDING
by THE MINISTER'S WIFE.

One day in early winter nv hus
band received summons to Burke's
settlement. to unite couple in the
bonds of wedlock. 1t was especially
requested that his wife should &C.
company him, as we should be ex.
pected to remain all night and partakc
of the festivities.
1t was twenty miles to the settle.
inland we reached the Lighthouse OF
Mr.. Burke, the father Of the expect
ant bride, about noon. A dozen tow
haired children were ut the door,
waiting our arrival. They tele.
graphcd the news instantly,
"Marm! marm! here's the elder
and his woman They're nothing
but folks! She's got mans hat OH,
and turkey wing in the front of it;
his nose is just like dad's-crooked
as cow-horn SQUASH"
Alas for Mr.. Morrison's aquiline
nose, of which he is q little vainl
"Sam ~ cried a shrill, female voice
from the interior of the cabin, "run
out and grab the old rooster, and I'll
clap him into the pot! Sal, you quit
that churn aud sweep the floor. Kick
that corn-dodserMnder the bed. Bill
you wipe the tallow out of that
cheer for the minister's wife, and be
spry about it."
Further remarks were cut short
by our entrance.
Mrs. Burke, IN calico short gown.
blue petticoat and bare feet, came
forward, wiped her face on hor apron.
GLOW do you do, elder? How dye
do, marin? Must excuse my ..head
hain't had no chance to comb it since
last week. Work must be did, YOU
know. Powerful sharp air, hain't it?
Shoe, there Bill drive that
turkey out of the bread trough. Sal,
take the lady's things. Set right up
10 the fire, marin. Hands cold? Well,
just run 'em in Bill's lair-we keep
it long purpose"
Bill presented his shaggy head, but
1 declined will, All involuntary shud-
der.
"Lawk, if she amt actually a shiv-
erins !" cried Mrs. Burke. "Brias
in some more wood. Here marm,
take this hot corn-dodgcr inter yer
lap-'it's as good as soapstone."
A fateful squall announced the ex-
ecution Of the rooster, and shortly
afterward ho was bouncing about in
a four-quart kettle hung over the
fire. Sal returned to her churn; but
the extraordinary visitor must have
made her careless, for she upset the
and butter and buttermilk
went swimming over the floor.
"Grab the ladle, Bill" cried Mrs.
Burke, "and help dip it up. Take
keer-don't put that snarl of hair in.
how folks will be SO nasty !
Dick, do keep your feet off tho but
it won't he fit for tho pigs
" hen the buffers gathered. Drive
that hen out, quick; she's picked up o
pound Of butter already. There, Sal,
10 try and churn little more keerful.
II you are gwine to DO spliced ter.
morrow, you ncedn't run crasy about
IT,"
81 advise you to dry up!" remarked
he bride elect, humping away at
he churn.
By the time 1 had got fairly warm
ID, dinner was ready and you may be
Iure I did not injure myself by over |
lating.
Night came on carly, and after .
'ecial chat about the event ofto-mor.
'ow, I signi6ed my desire to retire. |
Sal lighted pitct-knot and began
ladder In one corner Of the |
Dom; ] hesitatod.
"Come on" cried she, "don't be
'ftaid. Sam aud Bill, and Dick, aud |
he rest OF sc, duck yer heads while
he elders wife goes up. Look out
or tho loose boards, marin; and |
mind, or you'll smash your brains
mt against that beam. Take kser
Il the hole whore the chimney comes
through"
Her warning came too late. II
'anght my foot In the end Of . board,
and fell headlong through |
Fhat appeared 10 ho m interminabla |