The Portland daily press., 1873-02-04

Luther Spring got drunk at Hurontown,
crawled into a hove, and the insidious cold |
soon waited his spirit to land where freez- |
ing is unknown Paper.
Mr.. Winslow, who was chilled so badly in
Saturday IS fire, Is doing wel..-LetcistOn Mel
Journal. What kind of a fire do they have
down in Maine this time of year?-Bostoa
Post.
There is said to be some difficulty about
the telegraphc communication in Wisconsin,
but they hope to set it right as soon as they
can clear away the snow deep enough to get
down to the wires.
The following appears in an exchange:
"Wanted-A boy who can spear cockroaches. /
We want him, AID must have him. None
but experts, however, need apply, as our
cockroaehes are sly-deyilsh sly"
The spinsters Of Glasgow are preparing a |
petition for the enforcement Of q Parliamenta- |
ry act Of the fifteenth century, which provides
penalty for any bachelor who should decline
an offer of marriage from ole of the fair sex.
Miss Alice Gerry, of Portland, Maine, is
spending the winter with Mrs. Senator Ham,
iton. Miss Gerry is pretty, amiablc and ac-
complished, and decided add tion to the
agreeable younger circles of the capital
-Wdshington Republican.
The attempt OF the theatre managers in
New York to abolish the bill-boards was q
failure. Two OF them put out bigger posters
than ever, and thus forced the others back to
the old system.
A Cincinnati gentleman who interviewed |
the editor of paper in that city the other |
day, and closed the conversation by abruptly |
smashing in the editorial hat, has paid s25 |
and costs for the indiscretion.
When Charles Lamb visited the LitchAeld
Cath5 dral his guide told him that three men
once dined upon the top of the steeple.--
''They must have been very sharp set, "said
| Lamb.
| Mo- content with furnishing liquor dealers
| for the deeds of their customers, Ohio has
passed an act holding kerosene sellers respon-
sible for the damage done by explosion of their
wares.
| A Troy paper calls Mrs. woodruff ''Viccy,"
a fact which shows a painful want of rever-
ence in the Trojan mental organization. That
man would have called Mrs. Menelaus' Nell,
! if he had lived in ancient instead of modern
| Ilium.
Aman at Hudson, Mich, found baby on
his steps, the other night, and now says he
would not take $1,000 for 1t. His wife, though,
casually remarked if any one would get up a
purse of $780, they could have the infant
and the man too.
People who die nowadays ought to be con-
soled. An Ohio man has patented "a ma
chine for handling corpses." All people, dy-
ing, have the solacing reflection that they
will be handled according to the laws of the
Patent Ofice-without partislity.
VIM. Steadman cannot be said to be stick
Ter for his demands. Mrs. S. was killed on
the Central Pacific Road, and Mr.. Steadman
valued her then at $4,000. The Company
pointed out the good it had done him, and
Steadman consented to take $74, ,250 from his
first demand.
In a San Francisco court, the other day, q
little dialogue ran thus: Counsel to witness.
'sYou say you were at his house every nigh? I?
s'Yes, SIR" "Were you his artner?" 'sNo
sir" "Any relative of his ?" 'sNo." "What
were you doing at his house every nigh %
81 was sparkling his wife's sister,"
When Laplace met the late Mrs. Somer-
vile for the first time, he said, in his lofty
way, ssMadam. there have been only three
women who have understood me-yourself,
Caroline Herschel and Mrs. Greig, of whom
have never been able to learn anything"
81 was Mrs. Greg,' said the modest little
woman. $50, then, there are only two of
youw exclaimed the philosopher.
Rhode Island will be ba ikrupt if she con-
tinues in her present extravagan. course. In
that State, they now propose having geolog-
ical survey, but we should think they would
delay it. on account Of its expensiveness.
The professor who expects to make it, says
that if he is expected to go over the State, 1t
viii take him at least two days, and he won
do it for less than $3.50.
A San francisco widow is ahead in the mar
rying business. She was fair, and young, and
well-to-do, and young man had plghted
his troth to her. Suddenly his visits ceased
and the widow sent out spies to discover his
lurking-placa 1hese faithful agents ascer-
tanned that the young man was about making
other matrimonial arrangements with a
young girl to whom he was paying assiduous
attentions. The blooming widow, resolved
not to be basely deceived, found pistol
which had been the property Of her first hus-
band, loaded 1t, and went hunting for her
lover. She found him at the house and in
the company of his young charmer, and
having previously provided herself with a
marriage license, persuaded him to accompa-
her to the marriage altar. She thus happily
saved an inexperienced young man from com
mitting the crime Of deceiyipg trusting
woman.