The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1873-11-25

Who is the first boy mentioned in the
Bible? ? Chap. L."
Every cord of wood given to the roor
is recorded above.
A Kangaroo is a curious chap when
it's wide awake it's leapiug
Last words of Jack-"I'll be hanged
if l go up on that platform,
"Yon don't do that again" said the
pig to the boy who cut his tail off.
To keep warm on cold day, the
women double the Cape and the men
double the Horn.
a justice Of the peace at Kansas City
puts it "Now let the gaul darned jade
vince"
When are skipping lambs like literary
volumes? When they are boundin
sheep.
Many man, who thought he had
made bargain buying silks, found that
he had got worsted.
A Georgia firm will manufacture paper
from banana skins, if they don't slip UP
before they get at it.
A Fort Plain merchant advertises his
goods at oxyun. That man has always
steered clear of newspapers.
Observation-Disclosures is the title by
which conjurer of Harrisburgh, Penn.
chooses to advertise himself
When Jonah's iellow.passcngers pitch
ed him overheard, they evidently regard
ed him as neither prophet nor loss.
The owner of a Nevada newspaper
gives notice that he cannot be brihod
with ive.ccnt cigar to write a five.doI.
lar puff.
Twas night. A warm couple stood IN
the pale, cold moonbeams. Their lips
touched, and there was sound like
cew hauling her hoof out Of the mud.
A reporter of Louisville paper re-
Gently fouod q pocketbook filed with
money, and Immediately handed it over
to the police. The money was counter.
felt,
In passing through dark tunnel On
Pennsylvania railroad, woman's voice
was heard exclaiming, Don't fool
around | carry a pistol in my pan
nier ~
A Louisiana man puts a two.ource
can of nitro .glycerine inside Of chicken,
tosses the chicken to an alligator, and the
bayou which once knew that alligator
knows him no more.
Raw recruits for Satan" is the kind
y compliment bestowed by the Northern
Christian Advocate in recording the ad-
mission Of two hundred new students
into Cornell University
"How does that look, eh ~ said big
listed Wall street man to a friend, hold
ing up one Of his brawny hands. Thai
said the friend, "looks as though you'd
gone short on soap"
The Louisville Courer-J Journal says
that ga Tennessee editor, who has been
drinking Cincinnati whiskey for month
has written to an eastern printing house
for patent inside"
A Texas barber, who ornameuted his
front door with white knob, is said to
have had no peace until the last vestigc
of it had been shot away by his sprightly
neighbors, who made use of it as tar.
get.
The city carrier Of Missouri paper,
on publication day, seats himself in the
nearest saloon, and in the course Of
few minutes delivers each subscriber his
paper in person, thus saving time and
shoe leather,
A Witty Compliment--So witty a
compliment is rarely made as that Of
Sydney Smith to his friends, Mrs. Tighe
and Mrs. Cutie "Ah, there you are =
the cuff that every one would be glad to
wear, and the tie that no one would
lose."
The people Of Providence are highly
incensed at the discovery of an old Eng
lish Gazetteer, publihsed in l776, which
describes Bristol as town in New
England, "having commodius harbor at
, the entrance Of which lies Rhode Island 80
Shortly after the recent illness Of Join
Hickman, Washington Townsend call, d
on him, and, wishing TO encourage him,
remarked, "Well, Hickman, l can't see
that your appearance need trouble you. "
"No, Townsend" replied the invalid, 1T
doesn't; it's my disappearance that trou.
bles me-"