The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-04-25

ifcuIleTSDlaH TeiudIkeu. wal IHub
red devil split his bullet anyhow"
An amorous Portland youth tried
to ravish a young aud buxom girl,
but she put such lively head on him
TINT he was compelled to haul off for
repairs at doctor shop.
"Oh myp And then to think Of
Bozeman young lady fainting, sim
ply because II little dog was tearing
up few Heralds, North Vests and
Couriers just behind her.
my yoke is easy and my burden is
light" as q Harrisburg youth said
when his girl was sitting on his lap
with her arms around his neck. He
was pntient young OK, anyhow.
The President directs that General
Canby's remains be transported to
indianapolis, ut public expense.
Major Hawkins has been ordered
from Detroit TO Portland to escort
them.
Fellows who want to receive gush-
ing letters from their Los Angeles
sweetnesses will now have to send
them good lickable postage stamps,
as the Los Angeles postmaster has
been out of that commodity for weeks
past.
Portland society is hishtoned.
why, You old s-a-r-d-i-n-e. Is
that you?" is the way one fair one
saluted another OH the street recently.
and the angel in bustles and high
heels meekly and poetically respond
ed, "You bet!"
Markham, last week convicted of
arson ut Lafayette, tried to kill him
self in Jail with jack knife last Sun
day. One or two digs in the ribs
with it persuaded him that the pro-
cess was too painful for Sunday
amusement, and he let up.
Mrs. wilkins, of Stockton, went
into court and swore that her daugh-
ter committed adultery with G.. Ben
nett, and her daughter makes it
standoff by swearing that her mother
was the one who did the adultcrous
business with Mr.. Bennett. So it
seems Bennett did it anyhow.
| Two young ladies of Silver City
arc 10 run foot race for Il wager,
shortly. Hoop-skirts. chignons and
bustles are to be ruled out aud the
fair raceresses will appear in bloomer
costumes The winner OF that stake
can get u constant posish on the staff
of certain Oregon militia officer.
Andrew J. Ladd was last week in
dicted b. the Grand Jury of Benton
county for the murder OF Chas. Ringo,
by poisoning, some 6 years ago. He
was also indicted for perjury. and is
now in durance vile awaiting his trial.
Things look bilious for that Ladd.
/ 4 suit il now pending in the San
Francisco courts, in which Helen G.
Frazer sues j. ". Thrift for s25 600
damages perpetrated upon her busted
gizzard by his failure TO comply with
matrimonial promises. Cruel Thrift
he ought TO have Helen more too
Two men named Dennis and Pratt,
OF Tehnma, Cal. last Saturday got
into fight, when Pratt cut Dennis
abdomen open until bis bowels pro-
truded, and Dennis shot Pratt through
the heart. The latter was nm instan-
taneous corps and the former has all
the symptoms of one.
4 During the battle last week a young
Modoc named Watchatate, picked up
she'll just after it had fallen in the
lava bed to see what it was. From
the little hair and few ounces oi
meat OF that Indian that were after.
wards found in the neighborhood it il
thought he never really knew what
it was.
A bright little boy of Sacramento
hearing his father say that n mar
fought to stick TO his business,
emptied bottle of mucilage in the
old gentleman S Office chair. The ole
man says he has not been stuck sc
badly since 1857, and awarded his
offspring by taking him on a whaling
trip to the back cellar.
A high spirited waiter girl at thu
st Charles hotel, Mason City, wen
to her bed room on Tuesday nj a
and found man "where nae maj
should be-" To whip out knife ant
go for ais hearts blood was the worl
| OF an instant, when 10! it was Apri
9 FOOLS day and the man "a thing o
s thread and patches"
Last Monday, at Comstock's mills
q Douglas county, a man named Denni
Tracy playfully pointed his gun q
e his friend, Poland, when it went of
!, the ball entering Poland's breast an,
: mortally wounding him. Tracy, il
! despair and grief at his foolish act
walked off short distance and sho
IS himself through the head, producin