The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-08-29
A BACHELORS TRIALS.
One days Experience, making Coffee
Dressing for Chureh-S0eks UndaFn-
ed-Hurry-Shirt Buttonless, Etc.

ed-Hurry-Shirt Buttonless, Etc.
/ am playing bachelor. I at
glad that am not a sure enoug
bachelor. You will know VIII
when I "tell you my experience.
And / tell it for the sake of poo
prosecuted bachelors. 1 hereb
sympathetieally inscribe this expe
rience to all my fellow-sufferers.
The following memorable expe
rience occurred on Sunday, Aug
Sd, 1878. I am a church goer
Have to go. ain season and GU
of season" I must be on hand
Promptness is a virtue with me
especially in going to church
Well, on the Sunday above men
toned, / slept little late. I pre-
sumo most of bachelors do.
concluded to boil some coffee and
eat a @lunch." I was in a great
hurry, but the teakettle would
take its time; I punched vehement
~ at the fire, but the water would
not boil until a big stock of pa.
thence had been exhausted. While
I was eating my lonely breakfast
/ noticed that it would soon be
church time. After awhile every
thing was ready for me to put on
my 4" Sunday clothes and go to
church. 1 was feeling pretty well
again, but must needs be in a
hurry. "Now comes the tug of
war;" Can't wear these socks;
toes and heels both out. Here is
another pair not quite so bad, and
rather than break the sabbath, I
will wear them. Now for a shirt.
This one has been smutted q little;
l can't wear 1t on Sunday very
well. Here is another. It needs
mending; but it is Sunday. One
more. That will do. / rush into
1t; feel for the buttons; but one
on the shirt, and it on the back
side of the collarband. There,
the first bell is ringing! Now I
have to break the Sabbath, or stay
at home. But I have to go. So
off goes the shirt again, and a
search for needle and thread is in
stituted at once. There is no
time to waste now. But the nee
die must be threaded. You can't
thread a little needle in a hurry,
but after q vexatious effort I sue
ceeded in threading the needle.
By this time 1 had forgotten that
it was Sunday; but 1 was in a
great hurry. Had no thimble, and
the little needle gouged my finger
until it bled. There, the point
pricks my hand, and 1 jerk the
thread out of the needle. Dear
me, the time is almost up. At
last by dint of effort, the needle is
threaded again, and the buttons
are all adjusted. My fingers hurt,
and my Sunday spirit is very much
demoralized.
Now, I must dress in a great
hurry, get all the frowns off my
face, take up my lip, drive the
cloud away from my brow, put on
a Sunday smile, and go to church
rs serene as a May morning.
Must take my place and perform
my duties like nothing had hap
pened. All these things must be
kept to myself. Have no one to
with me. If l should
Inadvertently speak of the matter
1 should get laughed at for my
pains. That is all the comfort
bachelors get. Poor fellows.
My one days experience makes
me gush over with sympathy.
L shall never laugh at their troub-
les any more. 1 do not blame
them for growing sour. They live
in a constant pickle. They have
right to make wry faces. Think
of long years of such a life. 1
have profound respect for any man
who is capable of enduring, but 1
must pray to be delivered from
such life. 1 am willing to take |
some "henpecking" if 1 can only |
get the buttons sewed on my shirts. |
Come home, "gentle Anne" come
home. G. II. r.