The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-05-03

/ Rev. Mr. Palmer, of the Union Baptist church
/ baptized two coorcd people in the river last
Sunday.-Bcacoa
| Several hunting and fishing parties left the
| city ON Monday morning for various points with
in Il circuit of fifty miles.-B,acon.
| No wonder they couldn't catch fish at home
A farmer in Serena, having been elected a del
cgate to the Springfield convention, thought he
"smellcd a : ice" when he heard that the Chlca
! 20 Il Alton railroad proposed to carry farmers t.
the convention and back for half fare, and stayed
at home. Since the convention met he has come
| to the conclusion that the mouse was big rat
! One Of his neighbOrs says ii was one OF them
| things that stink so no man can smell EN-
| Shcrjdan NccS Letter.
! That neighbours noSc how it is himself but We
have not heard that he did not have the half fare
The Fort Wayne Scntj4cl ccnsurcs the "thought
lessncss' which causes young men to drive over
lour.ycar old boys in the street.
A young male lawyer Of Ann Arbor and a
female ditto Of Kalamazoo recently took out mu-
tual attachments" for each other, followed by
hd6eaS cotlIqS.--Er
| A New Hampshire man has at last, after most
exhaustive mental effort, from which he has not
yet fully recovered, mastered the name OF the
disease about which so much has Of late been
final MaCginnis.-Er.
An old maid Of our acquaintance calls it, "Sce-
here find "a IMAM too ono and ct-us."
The Jonesboro, Ga, Times recently published
a vigorous poem, in which appeared this stanza:
"When spring comes with her FOCAL gifts
Then time will glide on wings SO swift,
Wen gather flowers sick and sore,
To decorate the young, the fair"
The editor explains by saying that the third
line should read: wen gather flowers rich and
rare" But the explanation comes too late. The
poet has committed suicide
Virginia City has the cpizootic-that is the
horses are affected. Under the head OF Car
riagc horses arrived" the Virginia NhrOnjcte re-
fcrs to the arrival Of "car load Of healthy looking
broad horned carriage horses, and suggests to
those who ride out that they can get bully team
byappyng to the owner Of the late importation"
Ox-cusc us from having to drive such horses.
She can get over more acres Of ground and TO
the post office Oftcncr in Il day than any girl in |
the county" This was the recommendation that |
a Dixon young man bestowed upon an admired |
young lady.-Diron paper,
There are some like her here, and some who |
90 to and fro as straight as bee line" and are
liable to 20 through every one they meet,
man in Tennessee believes in the watcrcurc
% he turns his wife out of doors when it rains
Er
He couldn't do it when she rjynS.
North Carolina paper has been fooing its
'olored readers into reading the Presidents mes.
sage by atliXing Sylvanus Cobb'5 name, and pub
ishing small dose weekly.
The new Grophic says that President Grant is
rad H., I
much for corkagc.
Arkansas newspaper correspondents in the
legislature make assertions and back 'cm up by
aging: ave got six bullets which says it's So"
San Francisco paper heads description of
choOl committee thus: Personal pen pictures
( public pillcoddies. Eccentric ctchings Of
lastic educators. Diabolical dissection of dizzy
ignitaries. Remorsclessly roasted by our roam
~ reporter" Il
student, undergoing his examination, was
ITS. lie replied, They smell so bad that the
,ople open tho windows, and the fresh air {
It's in" |,
In jacksonville liquor sellers are prohibited
ON keeping chairs in their saloons, or from I
'ovidng seats OF any kind.
Then where do the fellows sleep? IL
A Marshalltown widow is to be appointed clerk
the Circuit Court vice her husband deceased
She may now court to her hearts content +,
Since Charlie Hook" has become an agricul. j
raist every mail brings him letters of inquiry. "
member Of the State Board wrote to him to Il
certain what was best to plant in wet land. n
larlies answer was short, but satisfactory. 1t -
Is Leaks. "-.Sheriddn Neins Letter. a
Charlie gives similar definition of the pres u
It fraud called spring. He pronounccs it good v
&c enough, but rather "lcaky." Still it is C
ring weather. More than thousand new u
rings have started out of the bluffs along the C
inois river, within two miles Of Ottawa. u
A near-sightcd Indianapolis woman patched "
c seat OF her husbands pants with u cold buck !,
heat cake that the children had left in her work =,
sket last week. The color OF the patch work II
atchcd the original trowscrs, and ms the cake o
IS tough, the mistake might never have been Il
scoVercd, but the old man got caught out in a v
over day or two afterwards the patch began q
swell; he felt cold patches on his back and n
mixing 1t was spinal meningitis that had !,
itched him, sent for doctor, who soothed his u
IRIS; but he wants n dyorce.-Er. y
There is now no story on record that is buck.
heat "patchcn" to the above. ~
A mar who don't want his name published ft
lrks in certain reaper shop on the water pow.
S'o''iHht iipi i'Ii'u appear Ut lHc q
lpointcd time. About ten o'clock his wife went e,
own To the Office Of her husbands employer, ~
M seeing that gentleman said: you must cx u
use my husband he and had a little dispute II
us hornlng, and he won't be able to work this Vi
eek. I've employer stated that the eYplana. Il
on was satisfactory, he having been married Il
twenty-five years himseli.-Rockfoyd R<gistcr NJ
List Of Patents. n
The following patents were issued from the Il
J. D Patent Office to citizens of the State of n
Illinois for the week pndinr Arru 10 500, n