Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1873-05-03
HIS FOLKS.

II can't stand 1T, and what's more,
l WON'T" said little Mrs. Hinkle,
elutching the bars OF her uncom-
fostable old cage of a rocking chair.
Mr.. Hinkle placidly hung up his
almanac, and went out to sow the
early peas. He could stand almost
ANYTHING, and yet remain as serene
as cabbage-head-which, indeed,
his wife often said he resembled.
Laviny's tantrums troubled him
about as much as a mosquitoes buzz
ing would trouble an elephant; but
he thought they were kind of wear
ing to her, and that she "came to
quicker" alone. So he left her
swinging herself seasick in the rock
er, and shuffled off to the garden
with a hoe and pint dipper of peas.
At the gate he met Miss Niddlins.
"And how's your poor wife 2"
said she smiling. She suffered with
a chronic cold in her head, which
gave her an extremely sympathetic
manner.
cable to be stirring," replied Mr..
Hinkle, shuffling on his brown leath-
er moccasins. Even cabbage-head
may be, as it usually is, ruffied in
side, and deep in his slow-beating
heart Mr.. Hinkle was annoyed at
the sight Of Miss Niddlins and the
embroidered bed-tickiDg bag which
betokened a weeks visit.
'Laviny's putchiky enough with
out being set on" said he, leaning
on his hoe in the favorite attitude
adopted by scarecrOws. "Yes, l
really think she is" he went on,
weighing the proposition deliber-
ately. "Not that / mind lier being
spry-tempered, and splitting out at
me. It's only a way she has, and
comes of her enjoying such health.
She'll cool down; but that old maid
hain't any call to rile hers" and here
Mr.. Hinkle gave the hoe handle 3
resentful poke, as if it personated
the spinster aforesaid. Like many
men not gifted in public speaking,
he was much given TO talking aloud
when alone. Indoors, his wife
claimed exclusive right of speech.
"And here Pve stuck, like a dab
of putty, from the day was mar
ried with Reuben" she was saying
to Miss Niddlins. tI've had to walk
on eggs, or his folks would be in my
hair. They've had their remarks to
make about all my dOings, and, you
may depend upon it, it grinds."
Mrs. Hinkle must have been
ground very sharp indeed, judging
from her cutting tongue.
"POor thiRgl" groaned Miss Mid
dlins, using her handkerchief Just
then because it would produce the
effect Of pity.
"See how / was put upon this
morning by his sister Phebe," said
Mrs. Hinkle, moving the end of her
nose rapidly back and forth with
her forefnger, as if she were play
ing on a JeW's-harp. "That woman
had the impudence to tWit me OF
neglecting Reuben, because l leave
| him to get his own supper. sewing
circle nights p'
Don't tell me sol' shifted Miss
Niddlins. "Dia Mr.. Hinkle COM
plain to herr"
"Catch him complaining i' cried
Mrs. Hinkle; che hasn't got spunk
enough. Why, he's no more grit
than a haystack, and he's as sot. l
couldn't make him break with his
folks if was to die. Wish 1 was
single; then 1 wouldn't be nosed
round by 'em. Now here you are,
free to go when you please 70
Miss Niddins sighed an affirma-
tive. 1t was her peculiar trial that
her relatives never opposed her GO
ing.
"If you was to separate, 1 suppose
you've got enough to live on" sug-
gested she, cautiously.
Mrs. Hinkle's rocker jerked itself
into full stop. She had often said
that "Reuben must choose betWixt
his folks and her." that "she weuld
take herself off," and the like; but
to have a third person hint at a sep
aration startled her.
"Well-yes," said she hssitating-
ly. 'l've got the property 1 bro't
with me when 1 was married. /
won't deny but what Reuben has
done the fair thing here; but then,
if bed been some men, he might
have doubled it by this time. The
long and short of it is he's half
asleep. l have to keep stirring him
up, and, after all, he don't appreci-
ate me-"
''I believe it would wake him
pretty thoroughly if you should
leave him." returned Miss Niddlins.
''He'd begin to realize what smart
wife he'd lost"
| "He'd clutter the kitchen with his
greasy harness, and camp down on
the lounge in his boots that's what
he'd do the minute l was off" snap
ped Mrs. Hinkle.
"He couldn't manage without YOU
to save his life" declared Miss Md
dlins, confidently. ''He'd 90 down
on his knees to you to get you
back"
Mrs. Hinkle seemed flattered by
the idea.
"a pretty figure he'd cut" laugh.
ed she, "fat IS he is, and looking,
you might say, as if he'd been
blown up in his clothesp %
'Erm sure don't see how you can
smile, situated as you are" said Miss
Niddlins, showing symptoms of a
fresh cold
'sHis folks have tried my soul out
of me-" cried Mrs. Hinkie, hastily
resuming her wrath, "and what
maddened me the most has been to
see Reuben take it so cool. That
man hasn't any more nerve than 8
tub of lard l wouldn't value Jump
ing off the Westinghouse steeple il
thought it would give him 6
start"
"Poor womanp' said Miss Md
dlins, displaying the red silk hand
kerchief which might properly bc
! called her badge of mourning. DIT,