Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-07
The Garden Hoso.

{. - Tie 6Ar0en Boaos
One moro bright dream in life has col.
lapsod for us: and another harp hangs
upon the willow" Only this isn't harp
bat hose-s garden hose. We INDUCED
in sweet visions early in Spring, with 70.
fsrence 70 keeping @the grounds" irriga-
ted with our own spparatus. sLet droog ght
como" we triumphantly exclaimed. 1--WE
shall hose every flower that thursteth."
We aoddsd quite extensively for 10, and
reserved certain selected pots for floral
diSpls sy-then We bought tho hose. We
found launching the institution attended
with mechanical difficulty. Several sxpe-
ditions had to be made BY express to
change the hose to fit our faucets. Then
tho plumber had to come and alter tho
faucets to 6t tho hose. In these expert.
mentsl moments We had occasion to ttudy
tho immense squirting capacity of wster
not properly regul.ted. Its astonishing
how soon you can deluge tho kitchen, and
what aptitade there is for getting hit in
the sye, and oil over yeur clothes, by
waywsrd leaks from : machine. Sci
enoe triumphed At last, and tho hose
worked to charm. 1t was - tight 40 q
drum-head, and played magm6oently, and
we opened vigorous sprinkling cam.
raign. Two things We ascertained early,
that the feminine head Of tho family con.
sidered it her prerogative to superintend
the watering business, and getting vet
was . forsosdsinsd part Of the transaction.
No matter how wall your hose IL jointed,
you will be drsnched il the operation
this II q matter Of the "higher law!n
From the bay window We receive our
orders-"don's play 20 hard on the ver.
benss;; "put moro water on tho vines :"
"why don't you soak the grass?" "why
ON earth do you wet tho paths ?" Finding
that We were not likely to do this thing.
right anyhow, and being q little tired Of
playing second fiddle" We retired from
active operation for = few days and let
tho boys take hand att. If you want to
destroy tho serenity If q nsighhorhood,
tho quickest way 10 to let . boy work .
garden hose. In the first place be wants
to water tho street, to the peril of travel
srs, instead Of con6ning bis labors to tho
inside Of tho fence. Then all the other
boys within mile seem to know the taot,
and they swarm like flies around the
youthful representative Of rain. Then q
etTuggle commences. Tho boy Of tho
house lets bis companions have it in the
faos; they retsliate by stamping over the
tlowers, and stepping on the hose to pre-
vent tho flow Of water, and general row
ensass, only to be suppressed By Madame
in : majestic s,ate Of indignation, who
finally succeeds in dispersing the rebels,
and proudly bears ava ~ the insulted in
strumsnt to tho back shed. We are in.
formed, when we arrive home that all the
children of the neighborhoed LIFT our
premises in condition Of immersion, and
"never while she lives 10 that hose to be
put again in the custody Of boysw When
10 undertake to water the next time, We
are .nervously conscious that our efforts
do. not meet the expectations of the presid.
ing angel of the household. She can
stand our inoapacity no longer, and comes
out IN . rural straw hat, and says: ~lst
mo show you how to do it; men are 70
awkwsrdw She grssps tho hose - .
woman % apt to grasp pistol, a. though
shs was little AFRAID it might 20 Of sad.
denly, and tho nossle, having q limp, down.
x.rd :: tendency. are' away :. very near her
slOy nAlppoI. NSEcy BIO uttoESs ana
reotifying the range with quick upward
movement. she takos tho lady in white
muslin, ringing the bell at the next door,
with . perfect limo shot.". Dropping the
hose, she begs pardon in tho incest man.
nor, remsrking that Mr.. 5000 has been
using the hose and that it behaves shame.
fully" We sneak into the house, with q
weight on our minds, and 1t night va
dream that for some terrible offence We
have been sentenced 70 sprinkle the Desert
Of Sahara with garden hose. Suffering
under tho scorching rays Of a tropical
sun, and alarmed at the appearance Of
Arabs and bowling dervishes that dance
around ~, at tho sight Of water we
shrek in our midnight agony. We arr
awakened from our nightmare to be in.
formed that we rade fuss and trouble
enough during the day not to make TIL
night hideous." Any ono wishing to pro
cure first. class garden hose, in per:ee
workinging order can buy ono cheap Q
us, on condition, they will exercise It il
another eountry.-Afer Dinner: :
| Reunion of the Fillmore Family.
A reunion of the Fillmore family wa
held at the residence Of Calvin + Fill
more, in the township of :Scio, Mich.
ON the 10th inst. or the family fiv,