Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-09-04
Aumoruns department.
CHUBBS THE PHILOSOPHER.
BY MAX ADELER.

We never knew more than one man who
was perfectly satisfied with the weather at all
times and under all circumstances. 1t was
weather, Chubb was always contented and
happy, and willing to affirm that the state Of
things at any given moment was the very
best state that could be devised. In summer,
when the thermometer bolted up among the
nineties, Chubb would come to the front door
with beads of perspiration standing all over
his red face, until his head looked like rasp-
berry, and would look at the sky and say.
"Splendid perfectly splendid! Noble wealth
er for the poor and for the ice companies and
the washwomen! never saw such magni6.
cent weather for drying clothes. They don't
shake up any such climate as this in Italy.
Gimme my umbreller, Harriet, while set
out here on the steps and enjoy it." In win
ter, when the mercury would creep down to
fifteen degrees below zero, and the cold was
severe enough to freeze the inside of Vesuvi-
us solid to the centre of the globe, Chubb
would sit on my fence and exclaim, "By gra-
cous, Adeler, did you ever see such weather
as this? like an atmosphere that freezes up
yer very marrer. 1t hel ps the coal trade, and
keeps the snakes quiet. Don't talk of sum-
mer time to me- Gimme cold, and gimme it
stiff" When there was drought, Chubb
used to meet US in the streets and remark,
"No rain yet, l see! Magnificent, isn't it? l
want my weather dry. l want it with the
dampness left out. Moisture breeds fever
and ague, and vets your clothes. If there's
anything despise it's to carry an umbreller.
No rain for me, if you please" When it
rained for week and swamped the country,
Chubb often dropped in to see US and to OBJ
serve, II dunno how you feel about this yer
rain, Adeler, but it alters seems to me that
the heavens never drop no blessings but when
we have long wet spell. 1t makes the corn
jump, and cleans the sewers, and keeps chew
ing tobacco from getting dry. 1 wouldn't
give cent to live in climate where there is
no rain. Put me on the Nile and I'd die in
week. Soak me through and through to the
inside Of my undershirt, and I feel as if life
was bright and beautiful, and sorrow nothing
but nonsense" On showery day, when the
sun shone brightly at one moment, and at the
next the rain poured in torrents, Chubb used
to stand at the window and exclaim, Harriet,
if you'd have asked me how liked the
weather, I'd have said just asst is now. What
| want is weather that is streaked, like piece
of fat and lean bacon-a little shine and a
little rain. Mix 'em up and give US plenty of
both, and I'm your man." Chubb was al
ways happy in thunder storm, and one day
after the lightning had knocked down two Of
his trees and torn his chimney to pieces, we
went over to see him. He was standing by
the PROSTATE trees, and he at once remarked,
"Did you ever know of man having such
luck as that? was going to chop down them
two trees tomorrow, and as that old chimney
never drawed we'll, had concluded to have
it rebuilt. And that gorgeous old storm has
fixed things just the way I want 'em. Put
me in thunder storm and let the lightning
play around me and I'm at home I'd rather
have one storm thatud tear the bowels out of
the American continent, than dozen of yer
little dribblin' waterin-pot showers. If |
can't have rippin' and roarin' storm, don't
want none.''