Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-07-24
BREVITIES.

male citizens wink when they call for
soda-water
A MIsER named Anthony Berger, who
occupied the position of night watch
man IN bank, died at Burlington,
Iowa, recently, leaving property worth
| $150,0OO.
"A GENTLEMAN and wife recently arrived
at Albany, N. Y, en- route for Saratoga,
having driven the entire distance from
Omaha: The time consumed was some
six weeks.
IHE most beautiful boy baby, under
two years, receives five dollars premium,
and the most beautiful girl baby, same
age, receives five dollars at the Howard
County Qowa) Fair.
"A FIRM IN Dubuque has just completed
the manufacture of two iron steam yachts,
one for use on Clear Lake and the other
for Storm Lake. They are screw propel-
lers modelled after the Clyde clippers.
In Plymouth County, Iowa, couple
were divorced. The man had his girl
convenient, and the woman her fellow,
and each married the awaiting affinity,
after ten minutes of single wretchedness.
ARTICLES of incorporation of the Amer
lean Central Telegraph Company have
been filed in the office of the Iowa Secre-
tary OF State. The capital stock is 81 ,000,-
600. The principal place Of business is
Davenport.
THE priest of ST. Patricl's Church at
Memphis, on recent Sunday, not only
gave his congregation permission to eat
meat on Friday, but recommended it as
necessary to the health during the preva-
lence Of cholera
A YOUNG couple were married in Bid
deford, Me, recently, and the same night
applied at the police station for lodging,
alleging that owing to some trouble with
the parents of one of them, they had no
home or money.
The locomotive of a Western express
train collided with a hand-car, and
smashed the headlight. The conductor
was equal to the occasion. He just stuck
his diamond breast-pin in the COW catcher,
and the train moved right along.
SUSAN B. ANTHONY says that among all
the old-world wisdom, so-called which
binds the minds of the human race in
stupid, narrow-minded ignorance, there
is nothing more delusive than the often
quoted proverb, Man proposes"
THE total absence of bootiacks, poma-
tum pots, and other household missiles in
the remains Of the Swiss lacustrine vii
lagos, leads DR.. Hartman, the distinguish
ed ethnologist, to the conclusion that the
domestic cat was unknown to pre- historic
man.
A WOMAN called on lawyer to consult
him about getting a divorce "On what
grounds?" he asked. "On the ground of
false pretences-I was led into marriage
by false pretences," said the lady False
pretencesm exclaimed the lawyer "Whv,
madam, do you pretend there was ever
marriage founded on anything else?"
A New YORK Central Railway conduc
tor seized a nobby dressed young fellow
who had dropped an Insulting note
in lady's lap on his train the other day,
dragged him from his seat, and led him
by the ear through the train to the smok-
ing car, where he babe him remain. The
passengers enjoyed the young reprobates
discontinue
a PHILADELPHIA surgeon was called
the other day to a house uptown to am
putate the leg of woman. He is a near
sighted man, and when he reached the
house he got into the wrong room and
calmly sawed of the limb Of the servant
girl, who was German who had come
over two days before, and who thought it
was one OF the customs or the country.
ihE - StCI anu run L dChGlS' DOdFu
of Trade, of Baltimore, at a recent meet
ing, resolved that the standard buShel for
peaches shall be a box 9 inches deep, IA
inches wide, and 2215 inches long, in the
clear, with half-inch partiti0n-that the
standard halfbushel for tomatoes shall be
basket 10 inches deep, 1917 inches across
he bottom, and 10 inches across the top
and that the barrel for measuring peas
shall hold not less than two and half
standard bushels.
A WOMAN abandoned her child while the
train on which she was travelling stopped
at Cedar Rapids, Iowa, the other day. The
conductor was not aware of it until after
the train started He returned with his
train TO the depot, but no woman could be
found who would own the child. The
beauty and innocence of the child so over
came the tender feelings of one of the
sturdy policemen of the place, that he
volunteered to open his heart and home to
the little wait, and right manfully does he
care for the little abandoned one
A HOUND was chasing a fox, near Lau-
rel Hill, North Carolina, few days since,
when the latter being tightly pressed
took refuge in hollow log, entrance into
which it effected at knot-hole The dog
coming up, and finding that the fox had
gotten into the log, thrust his head into
the knot-hole after the fox, and got his
head fast therein. Being unable to extr-
cate himself the dog died, and the fox,
being cut off from the only avenue of
escape from the log, likewise persisted,
both Of them, evidently, having died of
starvation.
A GOVERNOR Of Virginia once wrote
hostile note to Patrick Henry, to know
what the latter meant by calling the for
mer bob-tailed politician" Henry re-
piled as follows: Il do not recollect hav
ing called you 'bob-tailed politician at
any time, but think it probable | have.
Not recollecting the time or occasion,
cannot say what I did mean; but if you
will tell me what you think meant, | will
say whether you are correct or not'
ONE of the custom house officials on the
dock yesterday observed a woman coming
Oft the boat with bundle in her arms
and as he thought she rather sought to
evade him, he followed her, and said,
Please unroll that bundle; it looks rath
er suspicious" perhaps it does" replied
the woman, uncovering the head and face
OF brighteyed baby, but I've got seven
more Of em on the other side "-Detron
Tribune.
CHEEK-A TRIAD
Cheek of the maiden pure and fair
Where beauty welcomes love, and where
The heart blood meets tn adoring kiss
And bushes into bliss!
Cheek of the maiden past her prime,
have ~ ~l>,%. +