The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1873-10-07
THE PRESS.
TUESDAY MORNING, OCT. 2, 1878.
Gossip and Gleanings.

Punch tell of light-hearted sea captain
who, when he had the misfortune to run his
vessel on the Isle of Wight, poking his officer
in the ribs, cheerily observed, ''We have
struck ie,''
A few months ago a famous Prussian gen.
eral was inspecting some military stables.
'What do 1 see there" he said, in tones of
thunder, to a sergeant, 'cobwebs? ?'' "Yes,
sir" was the respectful reply, 1--WE must keep
them there to catch the flies and prevent
them from teasing the horses.'
Some arch9ologist has discovered the nat
ural connection between breeches and panta-
looms. The pantaloon took its name from
Pidnta Leone, the planter of the lion stand
ard of Venice in the breaches of the enemys
works. So the breeches opened the way for
the pantaloons.
The dog and the spare rib.-A mastiff
crossinga bridge, and bearing in his mouth
piece of meat, suddenly swallowed the meat
He Immediately observed that the shadow of
the aforesaid meat in the water had disap-
peared.
Moral:-We learn from this fable that life
is but shadow.
1t is related of Scottish lady in remote
part of the Highlands, noted for her profuse
liberality, that being sometimes overburdened
with habitual ''sorners," when any one of
them outstayed his welcome, she would take
occasion to say to him at the morning meal,
with an arch look at the rest of the company.
'Mak' good breakfast, MI, while you're
about it; ye dinna ken whaur yell get your
dinner" The hint was usually taken, and
the ''sorner' departed.
The spirit of extravaganza and consequent
dishonesty and ruin seems to be spreading
even among ''rats and mice and such small
deer" A small deer of mouse in Ceve-
land millinery shop, wishing to have very
expensive nest, made it of greenbacks. Like
| many another ambitious Sybarite, he was
forced to use money not his own, and alb
stracted 5000 from the treasury of the milli-
ner, whose premises he occupied rent free.
A curious case was recently tried in Hun
garian court A man found his wife in the
agonies of death from swallowing poison,
| and with questionable humanity, put her out
of her misery with revolver, with which he
afterwards tried to shoot himself The cul-
| prit was tried for murder, and sentenced to
ten years. Imprisonment, but, on appeal, the
sentence was commuted to three years, on
| the ground that the woman could not have
recovered from the poison, and that killing
| her was merely mistaken act of humanity
| to shorten her sufferings.
Ready yis not very plentiful among
the settlers of Texas and New Mexico, and
many are the shifts and ''dickers'' resorted to
for the procurement of desired articles. For
instance, an old bedstead, with no cloud up
on the title" was advertised for sale in re-
cent issue of the Ell Paso (Texas) Sentinel,
and the editors soon after received letter
| from man in Los Cuscio, N. NJ, stating
that he wanted the bedstead, but having nc
cash to invest he offered as an equivalent
three pairs of cavalry pants, partly worn; one
sheep skin for a saddle cloth; one bride
which cost $5 and is put in at So; and one
sack coat which has been worn only thirty
| nine times.
A correspondent of Montreal journal,
| speaking of the lately deceased duke o.
Brunswick, says, Zone of the ugliest mep
he was accustomed to have himself painted
and enameled, and made up with all the ar
| tificiality of the patronesses of Nine Rachel
His bald head was crowned with blue-blach
wig, one of thirty, changed every day, and
initiating the growth of the hair; wig No.
being cut close, to initiate head just crop
ped by the barber; wig No being trih
longer, and so on all through the series
When the duke appeared in wigs 20 and 80
he was accustomed to run his fingers througl
their long locks with the remark that h
| must really have his hair cut"