The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1873-02-27
N ewiy Married Men-What
Tney have to Come toe

First. Just married; destined TO
niger in clover, new-mown hay, an,.
such heritage from nine to twelve
months. Them
| Second. Some black, rascally,
stormy night you are ,,nrned out into
streets and ponds mlll.rao>'s, or amid
snow eighteen inches deep, End drift
ing like b.azes, and told TO rn.., tor
the doctor. When you get h1,.s
again, light chances to ten, little
red flannel looking thing, about the
size OF bly merlno potato, awaits
you. The. will call it il baby; AMI
packe up with il you will ind the
first squalls OF married Iitc--ycu car
bet on that.
Third. Paregoric, and soothing
syrup, and catn,p-tea, and long fan.
nell, and diaper stuff and baby colo
they will come along too; in tact,
they will become just as much at
home in the house as dinner. Then
Fourth. One OF these nights, in
The wee sma' hours about the
twal you viii turn out again.
Barefoot, an icy, dsconsola,e sense
OF damlmes. all ABOUT you, only
cotton shirt or such matter be-.
tween you and the distressed open
ness OF cane seat chair, you will
,listractcdly y rock that baby back and
forth, and bob it up and down sing.
meanwhile, with voice like a wild
OK in slanghter-yard:
. This thing is playing out. Mary,
Rock o bye, baby, on = trss-top.,
or some such melody. And all thu
time that baby yeIl-. Oh, dosen't he
yell +! while Mary Ann, up to her nose
under the warm bed covers, to help
out, every now and then impatiently
pnta IN, just at the wrong place,
why don't you trot him faster,
Sam p
AID you trot him-oh how you do
trot hun: II you could only trot
his wind ou. 40 tar that he never
could get airy OF it back again, or
break his back, or neck, or something
you would he immeasurably happy.
But no. The little innocent seems
tougher than an Indian-rubber car
spring.
just as you are about giving mp,
concluding that you must freeze, that
there will certainly have to be .
funeral IN the house inside OF thirty.
ak hours, baby willis from sheer ex.
haustion. and then, with teeth chat.
tering like Mccormick reaper, you
crawl in BY Mary Ann and try to
sleep again.
Fifth. Gradually you glide away
into tangled mass OF ice, camomlle,
moro ice, skating weather, steam.
whlatle voiced babies, jockey club,
sleigh-rides, crinolins immense as
thv old bell It Moscow, Indian am.
buseades, snow storms, and forty
equally cheerful things, gu ilenly-
Sixth. A snort, = thrash, and
wild throwing upward OF little arms
and legs, and then, keen aud shrlll.
comes that terrible "ah waah! ah.
w-aah!' again. / guess you wake
ur, don't you
"Get the paregorlc and teaspoon,
qnick!" says Mary Ann, in eharp.
staccato tone, and don't you get it!
In just three eighta OF second you
are . Greoan bend out there on tho
cold door dropping parsgoric in .
teaspoon.
Hurry! Gracious little Peter dc.
scrlbing diabolic curves with all the
arms and legs he's got, aud screaming
one hundred pounds to the square
inch, and Mary Ann rearing arouad
there in the bed making . rocking
chair Of her back. and yelling, ..By,
by O." like . wild Comanche on the
wsr-psth. On, no; circumstances
arc not such as TO make you hurry
any.
And then to think that as days and
perhaps years roll on, there has got
to be more and more yet Of just such
distressed work!
Nice amt it!
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