The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1873-09-19
VARIETIES.

An unpopular "ism" with everybody
the rheumatism.
TO learn the value of moncy-Try to
borrow it.
"A Yankee paper describes man as
being "as sociable as batch Of candidates
two weeks before election"
-"Among all my boys" said an old
man, II never had but one boy who took
after me, and that was my son Aaron,
who took after me with club"
"A subscription paper was in circula-
ton in Slawson yesterday, says the Danbu-
ry Negs, raising IL sufficient sum to procure
the widow of the late Mr.. Johnson u GRO
quet set.
"A Rock Island physician has had his
portrait painted, and local art critic de-
clarcs that ''you can feel saws and things
rasping over your bones, and taste calomel,
blue mass and quinine as you look at it."
A Boston girl being asked if she had
not once been engaged to a party by the
name of Jackson, who was at that time q
Harvard student languidly replied, II re-
member the circumstance perfectly, but l
am not certain about the name"
"A philosophical Kentuckian who had
but one shirt, and was lying in bed while
the garment was drying on the clothes.line
in the yard, was startled by nm exclamation
from his wife to the effect that "thc calf had
eaten it," "Well," said the Kcntuckian,
with u spirit worth of better cause-"well,
them who has must lose"
flames Jenkins" said u school master
to his pupil, "What is an average2n ga
thing, sir" answered the scholar promptly,
"that hens lay eggs on" 'Why do you say
that, you silly boy 2" replied the pcdagogue.
because, sir" replied the youth, 81 heard
gentleman say that hen would lay, on
an average, hundred and twenty eggs a
year"
Two significant illustrations Of the SUI
perior advantages of the system of appoint
ing judges over that of clecting them by.
popular vote have recently occurred in Ohio
Judge TAFT was appointed by the Governor
to fill q vacancy in the Superior Court
When the term expired he was rcnomina-
ted by both parties. Judge Tilden was
the same Court, and both parties express
ed their approval as in the former case.
Two Jacksonville, Florida doctors Ger
tify that an infant child in that city died
from cutancous disease induced by improp-
er application to the body soon after its
birth. The Union learns that the improper
application consisted in bathing the child
soon after its birth from head to foot in
raw whiskey, and that in consequence of
the application the child was literally
burned to death, its skin turning yellow,
and then peeling almost entirely off"
Girls love their own stockings better
than any article of dress, though they arc
the least appreciated. Sitting in their own
room they will discuss them for hours
There is sense of elevation and calm SUI
periority in wearing a fine unbleached Bal
briggan that nothing else can give; this
seems to be greater from the fact that no
one is the wiser; itpartakes of the attitude
of stern devotion to principle, and bears
proportionate fruit. A dainty clocked
stocking above trim slippers induces d re-
pose of soul, and half the charms Of croquet
lie in the secret consciousness of striped
stockings.
"A good story is told ofold Johnny Nc
Gill, who resided in East Tennessee. Guer-
illas, representing both parties swept that
barren region, and it was dangerous to be-
long to either side. McGill in trying to
ride both horses, got several black jackings
first from the rebels and then from the Yam
KEGS. Union or Southern as he thought he
would suit the crowd.
At last he was overtaken by Il party
whose politics he could not even guess at,
and the following ensued
Are you Union man ?"
mo sir" replied McGill.
"Are you a rebel them"
"No sir"
"Then what in the DEVILS name are YOU"
"Well sir" hesitated McGill, "to tell the
truth, Im-nothing-and but blasted lit
tie of that"