The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1873-12-05
ODDS AND ENDS.

WHAT relation is the door TO the
mat A step fa(r)ther.
WHEN travelling in Vermont, if
you meet q stranger, it is safe to ask
him whose patent churns are you
selling 7
AMAN in Marietta is reputed to be
so witty that his wife manufactures
all the butter which the family use
from the cream Of his jokes.
In letter to friend, n young
lady states that she is not engaged,
but she sees cloud above the hori-
zon about as large as mans hand.
THE rallying cry in Kansas, upon
which newspapers of divers views
are unanimous is: Let no man be
elected to office who owes over five
years subscription to local paper.
EXACTLY. The Spaniards are
said to have u proverb which reads:
"At eighteen marry your daughter
to her superior; at twenty to her
equal, but at thirty to anybody who
will have her,"
COMING home from an "affair" in
carriage full Of young ladies gen
tleman declared that he had no OBJ
lection to rings on his fingers, but
he had a decided objection to "belles
on his toes"
Our Marietta merchants believe
cleanliness is next to Goodness, as
for instance: SIS that clean but
ter 7" asked a grocer of boy who
had brought quantity to market.
ut ought to be-" was the reply;
"Marm was more than two hours
picking the hairs frem it last night"
ToMpKINs aroused his wife from a
sound sleep the other night, saying
he had seen a ghost in the shape of
an ass. ooh, let me Sleep" was the
reply Of the irate dame, "and don't
be frightened at your own shadow"
A cowardly fellow kicked a news
boy for Fostering him to buy an
evening newspaper, the lad waited
till another boy accosted the ''gen>
tleman," and then shouted in the
hearing of all bystanders, dts no
use to TRIP him, Jim, he can't read"
A Chinaman came down one Of
the main streets in Millerton, CAL,
on election day, in state of inebri-
alton and of joyful exultation, and
thus delivered himself: "Heop Ia
me all same Mclean man. Hair cut
hort and drunk like hi. Hoop
LAP
THERE ia story of an English
man on a visit to America, who,
upon being asked after dinner if he
would have cream and sugar in his
coffee, replied that he liked neither
when the coffee was good, and then
Immediately after tasting the coffee,
sent his cup for both cream and su-
gar.
VINO marries for love takes a
wife who marries for fortune takes
mistress who marries for position
takes lady. You are loved by
your wife, regarded by your mis-
tress, and tolerated by your lady.
LIFE 10 like q roll Of costly mate
rial passing through our hands, and
we must embroider our pattern as it
goes on. We cannot wait to pick
up false stitch, or pause too long
hefore we set another.
THERE is young lady in Mil
ledgeyille, who, ono day last week,
darned twsnty-eight pairs Of stock
ings in the forenoon, ate q hearty
dinner, and rejected three proposals
before night.
RESPECT to aged persons is one Of
the virtues. There 10 no period in
life when our parents do claim our
attention, love and warmess affec-
ton. From youth to manhood, from
middle to ripper years, if our parents
survive, it should be our constant
study how we may best promote
their welfare and happiness and
smooth the pillow Of their declining
years.
HAPPINESS is like manna--it is to
be gathered in grains, and enjoyed
every day. II will not keep, it cam
not be accumulated, nor need We go
out Of ourselves, nor into remote
places, to gather, since it is rained
down from heaven ct our very doors,
or rather within them.