Liberal Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1872-1???, 1873-11-08
The Gibfxal Republican.
DALLAS. SATURDAY NOV.s.
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

landlady had just served him, "that
stpRisn't fit for pig to eat, and | amt
going to. eat LII
An iowa editor wrote: During
past week we have been visiting the
Solons Of the country and his con-
slant subscribers think that is fnnnny
way t0spsli SALOONS"
At a hotel table one boarder re-
marked tvhis neighbor, "This must
Aa. arlhealthy place for chickens" J"
"W hy r' asked the other. "Because |
pevat see any dead ones hereabouts."
A country editor writing to a de
Knauent subscriber requesting him to
paw up his back dues, concluded with,
-E yop pay up you will oblige me ;,
If you won't ! II oblige you.
Catching little Tartar-"So you
don't care about donkey-riding, Miss.
And why ?" ooh, Ioe got pony,
and one dosp't care about don keys
sftsr that, you know !" "Has pony
got more legs than donkey, then 2"
Missy (who don't like to be chafied)-
eyes; exactly twice as many as sOae
donkeys that | know off,
ANman is so much NOR polite in
church. de is on dress-parade, as it
were Nobody was surprised to see
that young man last Sunday dive sud-
denly into the bottom of the pew to
pick up her par4sol. While he was
the bottom be saw the embroidered
edge Of her pocket-handkerchief stick
from under the edge of her dress
He commenced tugging at it, when
there was fierce. scuffie and little
hand darted down. He came up
without it. Thera were two red faces
in the sanctuary, TO which the calm of
the blessed Sabbath seemed to bring no
relief. But he was young man that
meant well.-Stannto Tindieator.
"Mother sent me-" said little girl
to a neighbor, to ask you to come
and take tea with her this. evening"
Did she say at what time, my dear %
" No, ma'ami; she only said she would
ask you, and then the thing would be
off her mind-that was all she said"
Mamma, don't forget to ask papa
about gong to Brighton for fort
nightw Hush, dear I'm afraid it
won't do,! Won know how dreadfully
the seaside upsets papa for the first
Reek alwaysw eyes, but papa
needn't come down till the second
week, you knowp'
An Indiana man claims to- have
succeeded in playing thorough conf
dence game upon the potato>bug. lie
planted a grain Of corn in each potato
hill, and as the corn came up first, the
bugs thought it was corn field, and
started for other scenes,
John Varnum Jr., is practical
joker. A few Sundays ago, in return
ing from church, he was conversing
with his wife on the subject of the
sermon, and remarked that he couldn't
believe saint and sinner ever dwelt so
near as the sermon represented His
wife intimated that they could, and
instanc d. the following case
"Haven't you and | dwelt in the same
house for years2" This was a square
hit on John, but he wormei out of it
and closed the case with the following
argument Yes, to be sure but did
I ever call you sinner 7" Judgmen
for John and no appeal.
n chap who in some mysteriou
manner had received bid to larg
and fashionable party was somewha
disconnected to fnd that he was. nc
acquainted with a single person present
nor a double one either. Finally h
perceived an elderly gentleman of
disconsolato mien looking over a pht
tographic album. Our hero made fl
this party Of the second part and said
'sI say, you and 1 don't seem to kno
anybody here. Let's go home"
was the head of the house.
A woman in Litch6eld, ILL.,, set a
her ncighbors laughing last Fall b
sewing up her peach trees in be-