Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-03-14
WIT AND UTHOR.

-fNiA lNr lHduNlfA NrN-.
The editor of the Congressional Giote,
complains bitterly of contemporaries who take
his squil~ without credit.
\ Young man in Tennessee was presented
with fancy pen wiper by his sweetheart,
and wore il % church the next Sunday rs
crayat.
4 worthy gentleman ia Danbury played
euehre at a neiehb0r's house until ana hour
after midnight Monday. and beateyery game.
but got skunked going home.
\ political orator, speaking of a certain
general whom he admired said be wa~ al
ways. on the field Of battle, where the bull
lets We're the thcke~t Where wa- that
g In the ammunition wagon.
1t appears ly careful computation that
there are more people engagtl in liquor sell
ing in New Haven than there are employed
81 the new post office building in New York
The government has been notified. and Will
Immediately put more men on the post Office.
\ little boy with golden curls and dccayed
teeth, spread over fancy sled, shot into the
lecs OF an elderly and tleshy gentleman at the
foot of Wooster street. this morning, and the
elderly gentleman being in too much Of a
hurry 90 took around for a chair, at down
on the boy, and completed the balance ofthe
route in that position. When he got of the
boy was picked up. his ewes and tongue
pushed back into his head. and he car-,ed
home
\ Dan 1urian went to see young la -,
previously Just having been to an oyster SIP
per. As le nearcd the house he saw hes
father standing on the steps and hailed him
Hello. old Tatpole; at you? Where isl
my lovely .nzclle? Where i>h my love now
dreaming? The father looked mt the young
man. thinking he wanted something, placed
his hand sadly upon his shoulder turned him
around, and filled the space under his coat
tail with leather. The young man don't 90
there any more.
An eccentric but benevolent Danbury man.
hearing that seven Thousand working girls
lost their all by the Boston fire, shipped them
l6 volumes Patent Office reports.
Danbury Young man in the ardor of his
affection promised to cherish oneofouryoung
ladies wish love that would survive an army
oYerc0at
\ Danbury man was explaining TO hiswle
Sunday morning how his mother used TO cook
pancakes. when she interrupted him with
the batter pitcher lie is now experiment
ing with 4 new kind of saiye
We don't like the Patent Office reports
The characters are all oyerdrawn, and there
isn't enough poisoning and shooting in the
plot to keep the reader interested.
The Lenteu season is approaching and
people generally are hurrying up to get their
wiekedncSs all in.
When woman has hen to drive into the
coop she takes hold Of her hoops with both
hands, and shakes them quietly toward the
delinquent, and says, Slew there The
hen takes one look at the object to convince
herself that its woman, and then stalks
maiestically into IL coop in perfect disgust
of the sex. \ man don't do that way lie
goes out oi doors and says, - 1t i singular
nobody in this house can drive 4 hen but my
self, and. picking mp stick of wood, hurls
it at the offending biped. and observes, sect
in there yuu thief" The hen Immediately
loses her reason. and dashes to the opposite
end of the yard The man straight-way
dashes after her She comes back again with
her head down, her wings out. and followed
by an assortment Of stove wood. fruit cans,
and coal clinkers, with much muiling and
very mad man in he rear. Then she skins
up ON the stoop, and under the barn, and
over 4 fence or two, and aroun1 the house,
and back again to the coop, all the while
talking as only an excited hen can talk, and
all the while followed by things convenient
for handling, and by man whose coat Is on
the sawbuck, and whose hat is on the ground,
and whose perspiration and profanity appear
to have no limit. BY this time the other
hens have came ont to fake q hand in the
debate, and help dodge the missiles-and
then the man says every hen on the place
shall be sold in the morning. and puts on his
things and goes down street, and the woman
dons her hoops. and has every one of those
hens housed and contented in two minutes.
and the only sound heard on the premises is
the hammering by the Oldest hoy, as he
mends the broken pickets