The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1873-01-26
GRANTS GRIM JOKE.
And Harlan's Grave Witttctsm
ON the Flying Canard.
The Capital Weeping Over the
Herald,s M. G. Obituaries.
TEARS, IDLE TEARS!"
British Claims settled-Treasury Statement
Interest on the Funded Loan-The Country
Still Safe-Honest Men in Congress

OtAA 0olo-1VuooS mou IN yong esSs b.
WASHINGTON. Jan. rs 1879
Humored Assassination OF the Presi.
dent-Excitement or the Correspond-
ents-General Grants Fine Sense OF
Humor.
kilograms Of the most startling nature were re-
ceived in this city at news headquarters early this
evening. New York dispatches came thick and
last asking about the assassination Of the Chief
Magistrate Of this great republic. Where there
was so much smoke every one thought there must
be some fire. and the number OF visitors at the
White House were in proportion to the num-
Der OF people who had heard of the terrible rumor
In the streets. Your correspondent called at
the Executive Mansion this evening and found
the President In full possession Of life
and health camly seated In his ONCE chatting with
Senator Harlan over cigar. The President had
received no intimation OF the rumor until your
correspondent impaired the intelligence to him.
He then got or joke, clearly demonstrating that
he has fine sense OF humor, which his enemies
lam, who had been IN earnest consultation with
him about DR.. Durant's troublesome story,
he said, between puns Of his cigar.
''Senator, II am assassnated am not
aware OF it." The Senator made the original
remark, 'Ffone were really dead It would he en-
barrassing to not know It,"
Your correspondent could have suggested to him
other instances where men were dead, but insisted
to the contrary, as the case of Cakes Ames and
company, but he forebore Marshal Sharpe at this
moment entered the room and mad hearty laugh
with those present at the absurd story. Mrs.
Grant when informed Of the rumor turned
very pale at the very idea Of this terrible
STORY. She thought 1t bad omen, a
If dico uta proci
dent has been very gloomy Of late over the down.
fall Of his many friends, by cakes Ames' confession,
and since reading the obituary poetry in yesterdays
HERALD has consumed an unusual number ofcigars
20 keep on his melancholy Your correspondent
had few moments, conversation with MIN after
Senator Harlan retired, and congratulated him
upon the falsity OF the rumor. During the evening
the entire force Of reporters and correspondents
went rushing up to the White House with feverish
haste to get good view OF the body. This body
was when your correspondent left 1t, In fine
state of preservation and looked very unlike o
corpse.
At midnight the President has retired ana the
doors Of the White House are barred against
anxious inquirers as to the truth OF the rumor Of
his assassination, which it now appears, from the
kilograms received, has spread to nearly every
city In the country. And he still lives.
General Grief Over tho Herald Obitu.
aries-The Effect ON the Poland Conn
mittee.
The touching obituary notices published in yes
terday's HERALD regarding the Congressional vic
tins Of the late Credit Mobilier Epidemic, dissolved
Washington circles into tears. The harmonies Of
the rythmic consolation appealed directly to the
stricken hearts Of mourning friends and made
them clasp the HERALD to their bosoms in silent
rapture at its beautiful words of comfort and pious
Ppci a on ypr m n
man, woman and child in Washington last night
longed for the HERALD. In brief moment the
huge daily supply exhausted, and still the cry
went up for the HERALD, IS hungry children would
cry for bread. To-day copies sold at fabulous
prices, as high as IS each being paid.
The Senate was not in session to-day, and its
members had ample leisure to lament the sad loss
"0Y two OF their number. The House did but
slittle, on account of most OF the men,
beers being engaged at their desks with
. screaming eyes reading over and over the HERALDs
notices. The departments were at standstill,
owing to the fact OF the presence Of few copies
OF the paper in the possession OF the clerks Busi
ness in the city was in measure suspended out OF
respect to the general sentiment of GRIEF ard
melancholy that hung over it like fog. IL is
fumored that the notices will be printed 1T the
government printing house. and issued In black
binding as a souvenir to sorrowing friends. Judge
Poland's committee Is nearly over with
Its work. The first hour of this mornings sitting
was devoted to reading the mourfui notices, these
forming the burden OF the remarks made. Poland
thinks the ceremonies OF the committee will be
finished by the next Tuesdays sitting. The obitu-
airy notices fastened the close Of the duties OF the
committee. The Judge is Of the opinion that the
Congressman are now so handsomely embalmed in
verse that he will no longer keep them on exhibit
fion INIT burv them next Tuesday,
"A Hymn for the Credit Mobilfer Martyrs.
If services are held tomorrow in Bishop Poland's
church. 1t is understood that choir OF correspond
ents will sing the following as an appropriate in
troductory hymn, dedicated to the Credit Mobilier
martyrs
From Hampshire's granite mountains,
From Hoosler's swampy bends,
Roll down big dividends.
From many Congressman,
They call US to deliver
Their name from Hoax Ames' ban.
The Country Still Safe-Honest Men In
Congress.
streak OF virtue has been discovered in Con-
Gress. The Territorial delegates cannot vote, and
having nothing to sell that would influence legisa-
ton, now pass for the most honest men. Even
Hoax Ames, 1t Is said bears testimony to this ract
Business I'm the House.
There was little business transacted In the House
to-day. Sargent, OF California asked for informa-
tion about British subjects occupying land in san
Juan island. A bill authorizing the sale of the
Custom House property at Plymouth and one pro-
vidng for holding District and Circuit Court at
wilkesbarre, Pa, were passed. The Committee on
Appropriations reported bill appropriating half
q million to purchase an additional site for the
Boston Post Oflce.
Warmoth Confident OF Ultimate Tri-
umph.
Governor warmoth stated, in conversation this
evening, that he had been In consultation with