Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-04
BURGLARY IN DANli()RY.
Mr. l.unsvit kss Has :, lively Turu 4
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From the DalIbnry News
MIR. and Mrs. L,nwickcr. of South
Main street, burn gus in their bedroom
all night. It is sort of company for
them, besides being Il convenience in
case anything should happen. One
midnight, last week, Mrs. Lunwicker
awokc and discovered that the
room was shrouded in darkness, and
thought she detected noise She i'm
mcdiately aroused Mr.. L,,nwicker. Half
awake, that unfortunate man jumped
out Of bed in absence of any set
tied plan of action, ana ran against an
open bureau drawer, and screamed
murder. y Then he lighted the gas,
and revealed to the astonishcd gaze of
both an open bureau and disordered
contents. Mrs. Lunwicker sprang cut
OF bed ut this sight, and dashed ner-
vously to the place where she kept her
" watch and Chain. They were gone.
She drew up her mouth Just as a
woman does when she thinks she ought
to whistle and knows she can't.
dove headlong into the recepta-
Gle for her jewelry. Behold that also
was gone. Terrified by her losses, she
screamed "Sarah.'' Sarah is a vonne
Lady cousi in visiting the family. At the
sound OF the name Mr.. Lunwicker be-
came suddenly aware that a due defer
ence for Sarah's society demanded
more attention to his wardrobe than he
had yet been able to give it, and
dashed around the room for his pants,
raveDously scratching both of his hips
with his hands, just us man
always does when he is bare
legged and excited. just US he secured
tile pants and made a hopeless
effort to shove one leg into them.
Sarah was heard at the door. "Come
III, shouted Mrs. Lunwicker. "What
are you doing, you crazy woman?"
Missed Lunwicker, as his foot caught
in the lining and refused to bulge an
inch further, and he pounded around
on one leg, and madly endeavored to
extricate himself from dreadful
dilemma. Then Sarah's voice was
heard asking that the door he unlocked,
and Mrs. Lunwicker, crazed by her
loss, and unheedlng the ter
rified expression of Mr.. Lunwick-
er's face, darted to the
door. Keep away, keep away"
screamed Mr.. Lunwicker, in half sup
pressed voice, as the awful atroclty of
his wife's action flashed upon him.
But her hand was ON the key, and see
ing that she was determined to let
Sarah in, he attempted to throw him.
self against the door and prevent her,
but tipped on the pantaloon legs and
came down on the floor on his back.
anu as the only resort, rolled
under the bed. Then the door opened
and Sarah came in, and Mrs. Lun-
wicker burst into tears and sobbed out
all account of her loss, while the mis-
cradle man lay under the bed pcrspir-
ing at every pore, and Historically
striving to get his legs into his pants.
" Where's John Z" said Sarah, with a
dreadful look of innocence; is lie
after the burglars?' A groan came
from under the bed. Mrs. Lunwicker
dropped down on her hands and knees,
and stared under there. "Here he is,
Sarah, " she said, perfectly obliviocs to
the facial contortion Mr.. L,,nwicker was
making to intimldate her into silence.
"Oh, Sarah," said she with a fresh
OtOOucoU VI f5IlcA, 20 COluo mere ana
tell him he ought to go after the burg
lars" At this awful proposition from
his wife, Mr.. Lunwicker, who was
now firmly convinced that she had
lrretatively and forever lost her reason,
passlonately shrieked, "Go away, you
mad woman, clear ont both of YOU. orI
will come right out there in my bare
legs" At this threat Sarah screamed
and ran, and Mrs. Luuw,cker,
not knowing what else to do.
ran after her. Then the miserable
man crawled out from his concealment
and pulled on his pants, and was
tucklng in the night shirt, when his
wife returned, looking very sheepish,
and said, 80, John, it was Sarah
"What's that ?" said Mr.. Lunwicker,
staring with frigh tful vehemence at his
wife. 1T was Sarah that did it. It's
one of her jokes. 49," SAID John.
" Yes" said Mrs. Lunwicker, "she
just did it for sport" Darn Sarah"
said John, gratefully, as he proceeded
to pick the feathers and bits of curled
wool from his hair.