Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-06-28
PARAGRAPHfCAL.


The "Local Paragraph column of tht
Mem bis appeal is prepared by q spic,
writer who realizes the fact that localisms
are always read with more interest and by
a larger number Of people, when written
up in racy manner, than when gotten uT
after the style of the St. Louis Republican
The Peoria wives have improved on The
scriptures. Instead Of heaping Goals of fire
on the heads of dis0bedient husbands, they
just saturate their clothing with kerosene
oil, and Then set fire to it. It's more eiiecs
i've, and gives better light.
The funny man of the Louisville Com
Baerci0l INDUCES in a "reminiscences of bis
early boybood's days, and attempts TO pass
it off for an inci6ert of more recent date
"Johnny Sanders tiisobeyed his mother yes.
terday and went fishing in Bearerass creek
When the storm c me up Johnny started
home and, while passing tree, was struck
on The head by falling branch. He reach
ed home with tears in his eyes and lump
on bis head. His mother tried to show
him that he had been punished for disobe-
dence, but Johnny dem1rred, saying:
NO, IL amt that; If I'd stayed fshin'
wouldn't got hurt. Its cause l started to
go home that got it. The next time II
stay; You bet.' Then johnny was larruped
with strap, and made uncomfortable
where he sets down, and sent TO bed sup
PEERLESS for disputing with his IN ther."
The incidental mention OF the presenc g
of the Poet of the Sierras in London. where
ne is engaged to be married. will revive In
tert s. in his California spouse, who, some
months ago, came east on lecturing tour,
and after brief stay 10 Chicago, where she
detailed the eccentricities of the poet to an
amused audience, disappeared from public
view. What has become of Minnie Myrtle
Miller and her domestic infelicities?- Gin
ciyandti Commercial.
The piercing scream of the steam whistle
can only be heard in Detroi at q cost Of
SIS to the own6r The Post says: 'sAny
Inanu'actory vi laLiDg the ordinance will be
fined $26; locomotives can only whistle In
case of eanger, otherwise the penalty is
500 and imprisonment for six months IN
the House of Correction" Impris ming 8
locomotive six months is pretty severe pun
isbment.
We have never associated much with
royalty, partly because mos, monarchs of
the present day are not proper companions
fer virtuous young man, and partly be-.
cause none of them have come TO this
country animated ay craving anxiety for
our 81 ciety. But we have seen a&reat deal
of Kings in the theatres, and we hsve never
been more thankful that we are a republi-
can who can never b9 any possibility be
plac3d upon throne than when we have
observed that every movement of King is
always '.eralded by flourish of trumpets
and roll of drums. This would cons.i
tute all insuperable objection to our as
sumption of crown. 1t would be very
disagreeable If there was man hired by
the Government to execute the chromatic
scale upon brass horn every time we went
from the ballroom TO the front parlor. II
would be equally horrible If, when We
went to the head of the stairs to call the
hired girl to put breakfast on, an uproarous
fend in the yard should rattle out the long
roll on a drum, or If boisterous person
should stand IN the entry whenever we
dived in the closet for an umbrella to 90
down to the street, and shoald snort out
wild fanfaronade upon cavalry 5ugle! II
tina. umbrella were loaded we should cer-
taiDly feel obliged to blow out the brains of
the orchestra, and if we did not mellow the
diummer's bones with our scepter, not even
the dignity of our Office would prevent us
from pitching be royal spittoon out of the
window at him. So, upon The whole, it is
perhaps better that things are as they are.
If Spain desires another King, We wish it
to re under. TODD that we are not candi-
date for the Office. Rather than submit TO
the eternal and scandalous racket which
pursues sovereign, rather than wear pink
plush night gowns and yellow stockings
without pants, we would drive horse-car
and wear perpetual two-dollsr duster.-
SATURDAY. EUeninq Post