The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-08-22
Pith and Point.
A REGULAR hum-bug-The bee.
SLEIGHr OF HAND-Giving the IN


SLEIGHr OF HAND-Giving the IN
ten.
A SPRING opening-The mouth of a
tiger on the Jump.
WHEN man stands on his head he
may be said to have ga soul above but
tons.
WHAT is that which makes every per-
son sick but those who swallow it?
Flattery.
WHY is lovers heart like whale ?
Because it is secreter (sea creatur') of
great signs.
REAL estate attachment-The love of
relations for a dying relative who has
plenty OF property.
WHY is lover popping the question
like tailor running hot iron over a
suit of clothes? Because he is pressing
suit.
A sCHooL-BOY remarks that when his
teacher undertakes to show him what is
what, he only finds out which is
switch.
WOODEN NUTMEGs.
From the Danbury News.l
MIX is seven cents a quart. o. for
more rain
Mr.. BrNJANIN, of West street, is the
happy possessor of buff Cochin rooster
which shelters regularly every night
family of eight chickens, while his
better half retires to the roost
There's woman's rights in the hen
line.
ONE of the most striking features of
mothers care and affection is putting
black patches on Gght-colored pants.
OF course you know better, but when
you see boy rugged with two such
patches, you can't help but feel that he
can see what transpires behind him
without turning around.
A NELSON STREET man who was struck
with cholera morbus near Concert Hall,
Saturday morning, was taken into
store near by and restoratives applied,
but with little success. His agony in
creased in spite of all efforts, and
every once in while he would scream
at the top of his voice, "Oh let
me die, and be laid in the silent
tomb ~
AN assistant to one of our BARRIERS lost
his place, Sunday morning, for trying
to engage III conversation customer
whose mouth was full of tobacco. The
unfortunate man finally made an at
tempt to respond, and in doing so.near-
ly lost his life by strangulation, besides
demolishing three dollars worth of hair
oil and bay rum, and putting his foot
through new mirror.
A MIDDLE-AGED lady met bridish-
looking lady in the postoffice, yesterday,
and the following conversation followed:
" Mary, is it true that your mother is
dead?' asked the former. 1T is"
said Mary. "And were you married
before she died ?" mo" said Mary
"not until three years. after" The
middle-aged woman stared at the bride
moment, and then slowly and Devil
deringly said "Do you mean to say
that your poor mother died without
without seeing what you were married
in 2"
IT is well understood, we believe, that
when man has sore head some one
will hit him there, and if he has sore
foot some one will step ON it, We don't
know why this is, but it is. We re-
member that when we were boy, and
had boil where boys frequently have
their boils, some facetious wretch would
be sure to come around with strong
lath and slap it across that boil. We are
reminded of this singular fatality by an
incident that happened to Pine street
man, last Thursday. He has got run
around" on one finger, and partly
healed wound from cut on another,
both members belonging to the right
hand. On Thursday an uncle from
Sherman came to see him, and the I'M
Gle being one of your whole-souled and
hearty men, the Pine street man was
glad to see him, and unconsciously ex-
tended his hand. The uncle from Sher-
man grasped it in his own brawny fist,
and gave it a squeeze that split the
- run around" in two, smashed in the
wound, and made every Joint in the
hand say something. 1t was the bust
ness of the Pines treet man to tell lhis
uncle to walk in and have chair, but
he didn't. AS soon as he got loose, he
Ian out in the yard for an axe, and If
the uncle from Sherman had not gath
cred from the utterances of his nephew
an impression that the census of Sher-
man was in danger, and had the sagaci-
ty to have been influenced by it, there
might have been sickening tragedy to
record