The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1873-08-16
GENERAL TENS. .
BuTrTRn1LKpunch is dispensed at Long
BranAh am6Ag the social cream. ais3'

CINCINNATI can count up two hundred
and. Ell hgw yUhhst men who part their |
4 woM4s named doftd1ah, 1t sydham,
Miss, entered for a foot race and outran
four young men and won SO. W.
:. An indianapolis grocer who. received
postal card carried it back to the post
master and sejd:. s Here, show, me where
the dafned thing opens !" ga.
At an Oregon baby show a disappoint-
ed mother snapped q revolver under one
j of the Judges nose, and her husband IS
; after the other two. iNe.'-f
49, ONE Of the girls ut Lawrence, Mass,
commenced 3 breach Of: promise suit
against . faithless lover, but compromised
for six dollars and q new watch
JOHN RODNEY, Of Maine, twenty three
years old.swas left $40, 000s@in cash last
April, and had every dollar of it squan-
,dered by the 9Th Of July. ~
n. INDIANAPOLIS produces some deter
mined women. One recently threw her
chignon out of the car window, while re-
turning from a picnic, because it made
i her head ache. $40 dad ta, y 'Ts
:" A1GERNoN ELrHELRED -'sWhat do
: you think of my new portrait? They have
made me precious ugly, haven't they9"
.Constantia Levinia-s.Y Yes, they have,
very but it is splendid likeness"
N A YOUNG man has been arrested at
Hudson, Mich, for splitting tobacco juice
on the back breadths of q lady's dress.
She had declined his company from
/, church, aud so he walked behind and had
his revenge. - si.at1tr*f
MRS. S. j. VAN VL1ET, the accom-
plished Milwaukee forgerer, has been sent
! to the'State prison for two years. She
: wanted to become penitentiary' cores
6 pondent for one of the Milwaukee, papers.
= IT is held that, according to the laws of
New York, there can be no such thing as
q mock marriage between single persons.
Any agreement to live together as hus
band and wife marries them, There is no
need Of priest, magistrate, or formal cere-
meny. ~
.sTaE mosquito ls intensely relglols,
said SparQues to his spouse, one day.
Chow SOP she inquired. because he is
!. preying all the time" said Sparques.
2 Mrs Sparques smiled at her husband s
Joke, but Immediately said, Mosquitoes
= are not religious. - g Why" asked Spar
ques. Because they present their bills
:, on Sundays" Sparques went out for 2
: walk and for meditation. 49,
= Ii Mont Blanc were solid lump Of gold,
and if in order to become the owner of it
we had nothing to do but to 60 over in
PreI., Wise's balloon and take posse ssiOn
of it, we would thousand times rather
sit down on the shore of Massachusetts
= bay and starve to death. For we should
sAthen have at least the stern satisfaction of
knowing where we were and what we
were doing.-LoussviLle Courier Journal.
IOl An expefienced husband in Lafay ette,
Ind, septtwO switches home to his wife,
from which she was to make selection,
but before doing it he changed the tags,
putting the $25 one on the $40 switch,
and vice versa After critical examine
i. by herself and lady friends, the choice
) fell upon that labeled $25. and she decided
to keep it, Notwithstanding her husband
plaintive protest that he could not afford
to pay out more than $40 for such an
article.
Mr.. BEEcHER having been asked his
opinion of croquet gives 1t thus: "We
think it is amusing to women, agreeable
3 to men. and fascinating to ministers. For
all persons who need gentle exercise it is
even better than billiards; indeed, it is a
kind OF field billiards, or billiards gone to
grass Anybody who is too pious to play
crOquet ought to be done up in starched
linen, putin bag, and hung up like a suit
of Sunday clothes, and not let out till
meeting time"
AFTER the LIST of January next Ne Y
Workers who fancy Mansard roofs will be
Compelled to pay extra for them. The
underwriters have decided that while these
roofs are allowed to s. and, they can never
feel safe, and, consequently, they have
agreed that after the above date buildings
mounted with Mansards shall be subject
to an additional rate of one per cent. of
their value in all assurances effected on
them.
A GRUMPY, frumpy old sexton in Barn
stable, Mass, took the tongue out OF the
church bell to prevent the boys from ring
ing it on the Fourth Of July. We are not
sure. that this was an uncOnstituti onal
proceeding we are perfectly clear that it
was an ill-natured one. But no sexton
lean boys yet, and the youth of Barnsta-
BILE were equal to the emergency. They
suspended flat-iron in the place of the
distracted tongue, and the people of the
ancient town had "bells. bells, bells" Ito
use the language of the late Mr.. Poe) all
the day long. ...... : g7@a
~ THE two most important post Offices in
Kentucky are held by wOmen-at Louis
vile, Mrs. Porter, formerly of Coving-
ton, and daughter of the late Gov. James
T. Morehead at Covington. Mrs. Sui
'tana' S. Farrell, nee Sebree. It may not
be out of place to explain why the Gov
ington postmistress was named Sultana.
Her father was steamboat man, and at
the time of her birth was the commander
of the peerless Sultana. at that time the
queen of the Western rivers. And so it
happened that the name of the pride OF
the waters was bestowed upon the pet OF
the household.
THIS laconic but sensible German ought
to be sent out to lecture among the peo-
pie on temperance: 81 sail tell you how
it vas. 1 drink mine lager; den | put
mine hand on my head, and dere vosh
one pain. Den put mine hand on mine
body, and dere vosh anoder pain. Den
put mine hand on my pocket and dere
was noting. So I jine mid de demper-
ance Now deere is no main more in mine