Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-05-29
The Musketo.

The best musketers now in market
are raised near Bergen point, in the
dominion oy M Jersey.
They grow thare very spontaneous,
and the market for them IL very un-
stiddy-the CRATE supply Injuries the
demand.
Two hundred and fifty to the square
inch il konsidered paying krop, altho
they often beat that.
They don't require emmy nussing,
and the poorer the land, the bigger
the yield.
If it want for musketers 1 don't kno
what sum people would do thare tew
git living, for thare il a CRATE deal
ov cultivated land thare that wont
raize ennything else at profit.
The musketer IL a short-lived bug,
but don't waste emmy time; they are
alwuss reddy for bizzness, and kan
blight 10 minnitts after they are born
just az fuently az ever.
Thare il people in this world so kon-
trary at heart. and SO ignorant, that
they wont see emmy wisdum in having
musketers around; I alwus pity sutch
pholks-their edukashun haz been sore
ly neglekted and amt level.
The musketer IL soshul insex; they
liv very thick amungst each other, and
luE the sosiety ov man also, but don't
kontrakt emmy ov hiz vices.
Yu never see musketer that was
defaulter; they never fail to cum to
time, altho thousands looze their lives
in the effort.
The philosophers tell us that the
musketers who can't sing won't blight;
this information may be ov CRATE use
to science, but amt worth mutch to a
phellow in hot mite WHARF musketers
are plenty.
If thare amt but one musketer out
oy ten that kan blight good, that il enuff
to sustain their reputashun.
The philosophers are alwuss telling
us sumthing that IL right smart, but
the only plan they kan offer us tew get
rid oy our sorrows il to grin and bear
them.
They kant rob one single musketer
ov hiz stingger by argument.
The musketer IL the child ov circum-
stansis in one respekt-he kan be born,
or not, and liv, and die square deth
in lonesum marsh, 1900 miles from
the nearest nabor, without ever tasting
blood, and be happy all the time; or
he kan git into sulnboddy's bedroom
thru the key-hole, and take his rash
uns regular, and sing sans ov praze
and glorifcashun.
It don't kost musketer mutch for
hiz board in this world; if he kant find
ennyboddy to eat he kan set On blade
ov swamp meadow grass and liv him
self to deth on the damp fog.
The musketo is a gray bug and haz
s leggs, bright eye, a fine busset,
sharp tooth and reddy wit.
He don't waste emmy time hunting
up hiz customers, and alwuss lights
unto baby if there il one on the
premises.
In the dark, still mite, when every
thing IL al noizeless az a pair ov empty
slippers, to hear one at the further end
ov the room slowly but surely working
hiz way up to yu, singing that same
hot old sissings tune ov theirs, and
barking to feel The exackt spot on yure
face WHARF they intend tew lokate, IL
simply premeditated sorrow tew me-;
had rather look forward to the time
when an elephant waz going tew step
onto me.
The musketer haz no friends, and
but phew associates; even mule dis
pies them.
But i have seen human beings who
want aktually afraid ov them; i hav
seen pholks who had rather hav a
nusketer lite onto them than to have
} trakt peddler lite onto them; hav
seen pholks who were so tuff aginst
anguish that a musketer mite lite onto
emmy WHARF and plunge their dagger
in up tew the hilt in vain.
| envy these people their moral sta
nina, for next tew being virtewous
would like tew be tuff.
This life il phull ov pesky muske-
5ers, who are alwuss a looking for a
Job, alwuss reddy tew silk a thisell
into yu sum WHARF, and sing while they