The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-02-19
MISCELLANY.
LOUIS BILLION.
A STORY ABOUT CLOTHES.

a STORY ABOUT CLOTHES.
was sitting quietly in my room one MORN
ing, when note from my old friend, Lou
Liyermore, was brought in. | am very fond
of Lou, as, indeed, all her friends are though
she still remains, like Holmes aunt
The sole ungathered rose
On her ancestral tree
She lives far up in the country, but occa-
sionally comes to Boston on visit Her note
was as follows:
DEAR HEpsy-Here | am in the Hub, at
the west end of it !; is that the hubbiest part
of it, / wonder? | am coming over to see you
on Thursday. / meant to go to-day, but
can't; I'm all used up-s' clear tucked out, 2"
as Aunt Polly used to say. "What has done
| it ?" Why, my new dress and such dress
1t will give you fits to see how my back is
hutched up and pulled out. I'm a regular
balloon a fashion plate anything that is
hideous-a camel, or dromedary, for example );
only they poor things were born with humps
ON their backs, and | wasn't. Glow came
so defonmed?o In an evil hour | listened to
the tempter, and put myself into the hands
of city dress-maker.
'She's very Stylish quoth the tempter.
Little reckoned |, in my ignorance, what
that meant and went to her rooms in sweet,
contiding simplicity, bearing an innocent
looking dress-pattern under my arm. | had
three seances with Mrs. Outfit, a most impos-
ing parsonage, of whom | stood in mortal ter
ror; and at length emerged, transformed.
went in slim; | came out stout; | went in
erect ! came out hump-backed; l went in
plain came out bedizened; | went i'll with
forty dollars in my purse; | came out with
just enough to pay my fare home in the street
car-the collapse having been transferred from
my person to my purse with incredible celebrity
and ease.
Verify, fashion "doth make towards of us
all )" yea, and puf-bals, also +! / wish had
the courage to go through the world in gored
gown without pinch or puff or quicker in it !;
but haven't; SO am balloon, that by some
incomprehensible machinery is raised into
mountainous ridges. Surrounding these
ridges, at right angles to my body-if there be
a body inside this corrugated globe, of which
| am in serious doubt, to say nothing of an
immortal soul-proiects a fan-shaped pucker-
ed basque looking, for all the world, like a
spread turkey tail. On the top of this proiec-
ton good-sized trunk could be comfortably
seated only it might fall in | wonder if a
pappoose couldn't be inserted somewhere!
do so long to blend the useful with the orna-
mental
Now, Hepsibah, you are sensible married
woman, competent TO give good advice and
ask you, what am | to do? Go round the
world in this harlequin guise, or give the
whole thing great smash? ] should be glad
to preserve a modicum of self-rcspcct but
how can |, inside of "a balloon?
shall appear in full spread on Thursday to
spend the day. can't sit down but should
like the loan of bed post and cord !; | might
go up you know. Till then, in every fibre of
my stiffening,
Yours truly,
THE GREAT EXPANDED.
/ sat laughing over this, when in walked
Hester Graywood, another old friend. After
the first salutation, she slowly twirled herself
round, and sank into a chair, exclaiming:
"Behold the woman who dares -
All saw she, too, had on new dress.
ut was of silvcr-gray silk made with one skirt,
without a particle of trimming on it, and a
sacque Just bound with bias fold of the same.
Yes, she had dared. 1t was really refresh
ing sight, and she looked perfectly bewitcling
in the Quaker-like costume. But, then, Hes
ter Graywood is such pretty little creature
she can't help looking lovely in anything and
she knows it so it does not require such great
courage in her to dare. Yes, she looked
charming. Yet, on a second glance, there
seemed kind of baroness about her, as if
something were wanting. Was this because
had looked so long upon mountains of frippery
that my eye and taste had both become cor
rupted? Ten years ago we all wore such
plain, single skirts, and considered ourselves
elegantly dressed why should they look mean
and skinny now?
/ read Louis note to Hester, and she pro-
missed to join us at dinner on Thursday.
"Extremes should meet" she said
She staid awhile, and we had little talk on
DRESS and the bondage fashion imposes; or
how the taste of the community is corrupted
by the overloaded, ungraceful styles in vogue
now, and on many other things, such as sensi-
BILE women do talk about when they get to-
gether.
Zone of the greatest evils of this absurd
overlooking" said Hester, sis that it so fear
fully overworks women. We hear great
deal about the hardships of the poor shirt
makers in our cities; aud they are TO be
pitied, know. But other women are to be
pitied, too Look, for example, at my neigh
Dor, Mrs. T. She is fair representative of a
large class and not an exaggerated case. Her
husband is Woodworking mechanic, who
earns good living, and who ought to lay up
something for wet day, but he can't support
wife and six children in luxury, especially
as four of them are girls. Mrs. T. is an am