The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-08-29
TIE DANBURY NEWS.
The Family Letter and Other Things.
TIE FAMILY LETTER

THE FAMILY LETTER.
J" The family letter is written Q
lie Sundays. The reason that day
it selected is not alone because of th
!? leisure it presents. The quiet {
the day, its relief from influence
that irritate or agitate, frees th
+ mind from irrevelent and antage
IS nistic matter, and makes it pre-
d eminently a fit occasion for CON
e munion with distant loved ones
! In nine cases out of ten the lette
is written by the head of the fam
l. lily, and of those sent an equa
). proportion is sent to his Wife
Y folks. We don't know why it i
Z that man so rarely writes to hi
, own folks, but as it is not the oh
ject to treat on that subject, w,
will pretend we don't care.
: The hour being selected for in
diting the letter, the first thing il
to find the paper. There is al
: ways a drawer in every well regu
lated family for such things. 1t is
either in the table or stand. Here
the writing paper, and old screws,
and fiddle strings, and broken
locks, and fish-lines, and grocery
receipts are kept. There may be
other things, but if there are he
will see them. The sheet of paper
is finally found, the fly stains neat
ly scraped off, and the search com
mences for the Ink and pen. The
former is invariably found on the
mantel, next the clock, and is i'm
mediately laid beside the perspir-
ing man, who sarcasticly inquiries
if the letter is to be written to day
or next Sunday. This inspires
the wife with new zeal in the
search. She goes over the draw
ers again, because she knows he
wouldn't see anything if it was
right under his nose, but the pen
is not there. Then she looks over
the top of the bureau and lifts
everything on the front-room ia
BILE, and says it seems so singular
it can't be found, when she saw it
only the day before, and thought
about the letter. Then she goes
into the pantry, and, after explor-
ing the lower shelf in vain, stands
upon a chair and carefully goes
over the top shelf where the med
icine bottles and unused cans
are stationed. After she has done
this, she starts up stairs, and pref
ty soon returns with the pen, and
takes it to the sink to wash the
grease from it, but does not quite
succeed in effacing the deli
cate scent of bergamot.. This leads
him to observe that anybody who
takes penholder to lift hair grease
from bottle is too poor and in
nocent for this world.
Everything now in readiness
good humor is restored, the
wife takes q seat opposite, witt
her elbows on the table and her
chin in her hands, and assumes an
expression of countenance that is
mysteriously calculated to both
encourage and depress the writer;
and he grasps the pen tightly be-
tween his fingers, and stares at the
paper with an intensity that is en-
tirely unnecessary. The date line
starts off glibly, but suddenly
ceases as it comes to the date it.
self. He puts the holder in his
mouth and Immediately spits it
out again, making up a face that
is no wise suggestive of bergamot,
and pettishty asks her if she knows
the day of the month. It's the 18th |
or it is the-but not must be. |
She hesitates, stares at him, wav-
ers and is lost. She don't know
whether it is the 18th or the 18th.
but the almanac will tell, and she
at once rises to hunt it up. This |
occasions delay of some fifteen
minutes, during which he makes |
ninety-five passes at one fly.
The date having been satisfac-
torily settled upon, and the things
which rolled over the floor when
the stand drawer unexpectedly fell
out, having been restored to their
place, the date line is completed,
and Dear Mother" started. The
pen is a home pen, of bashful
mould, and whenever it starts a |
line it requires half dozen passes
to make it give down. All home
pens do this. And all home sheets
of paper have weak spots which
the ink refuses to cross, thus Gre
ating some remarkable divisions of
words, and considerable confusion
among sentences. Some of these
spots are two inches in diameter,
and anybody in the next room can
tell the moment the writer strikes
one of them, just as well as if he
was looking over his shoulder.
When the letter is completed,
which generally occurs at the end
of the fifth hour from the com
mencement, it is carefully read
over and supplied with absent
words, and then gone over again
and artistically touched up with
the pen at fine bare places. Then
it is folded up ready for the en-
velope, and the discovery is made
that there is no envelope in the
house, and the letter is tucked in
behind the clock until the want is
supplied.