St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-08-29
Wit and Humor.
The first verse of the office seekers
song now is said To he It's follows.


And with the Granger stand,
y bunch of clover in my arms,
ptchtork in my hand"
Candidates for Governor Twill please
sing common metre.
Shang and Eng the Siamese twins of
whom nature in frisky mood made
capital II were drawn on jury and dis
agreed The court decided to keep
them together longer.
Mayor MediIl of Chicago declines
seat in the Graphic balloon because,
though it will probably start on time,
II Is liable to land in eternity. and he
wants to land III Queenstown.
There is Il man i'll Troy who has done
business about one year without eX-
pending Il dollar in advertising. He
has III last consented to commence to
advertise. His first advertisement was
headed ''Shcrii1'S sale
\ conductor on the Chicago and AL
ton railroad ordered fellow to remove
his ann from around his girls waist,
the other day. "hecauSe." said he. Il
haven't Il woman fOr each man OH the
tram To hug, and the law inrbids un-
Just determinations.
\ Saco woman. while putting down
Il carpet few days ago. accidently
spilled Il paper of tarkS III Il chair, and
before she had time /" remove them
she WAS called away to attend To la
dy visitor, who dropped in to tell her
about Il love of Il bonnet she had seen
over in Biddcfurd and in the excite
mcmt of listening to the description of
the bonnet. she forget all about the
tackS. When her husband came home
1T night he sat down in that chair To
take off his boots. and then he got up
again without Wasting any time and
made Il speech: and his wife is ready
To take her oath that he can quote
more Scripture in short space of time
than any man now living. Up to the
present writing. however. with the aid
"f Il >crcwdrivcr and Il pair of pincerS.
Il large portion of the offensive tackS
have been removed but his customary
evening seat on the railing OF Cataract
bridge Is vacant now. and will prOha-
hly remain 50 for some time to come.
y Busy (nUTII.-A boy in another
town had tMu lunches of fire crackers
given him on the Fourth which he
clammcd int" his pocket. but noticing
another lying idle on the sidewalk he
cl;mncd that III with the rest. 1t
chanCrd that the vital spark WAS pres
cnt III the soul of that idle cracker, and
suddenly that hoy became the busiest
/ Youth i'll all that town. There were
/ about ;2!:}U distinct explosions in that
/ pocket. and at each one ne turned two
double Summcr>dult~ and Shrickcd with
terror. When quiet WAS at length re-
stored he clappcd his hands upon the
>corchcd and lacelated ruins of Il once
healthy abdomen. and groaned his dis
appreciation of the Pilgrim fathers for
ever establishing tree country.
y REMARKABLE SCFNE.-Thcre was
an amusing scene on hoard the Louis
lama mail boat the other day. There
was the usual conglomeration OF pas
>cmgcrs in the cabin Just before the
boat landed; and amid the general hub
huh OF conversation Il man remarked
incidently, Now, in jersey. where
live" Instantly an old man. who had
sal mnoAily and silently 10y the stove
for some time, sprang t" his feet and
exclaimed stranger. are YOU from
/ New Jersey Is. ANA WILD
to acknowledge il ," YES. sir; proud
ont" "IIunah: give lis your hand ="
Clicd the old man. fairly dancing with
cXultatidn. i'm from New Jersey,
too. hut never felt like declaring it
atorc. shake. I'm an old man. I've
travelled long and far. Eve been III ev-
cry city in the West Stcamboated on
ihc Ohio and Mississippi been to Cali
tornN. over the plains. and around the
Horn took Il voyage once to Liver
pool but i'll all my travels, hang me if
this amt the first time ever heer'd a
man acknoW ledge that he kun from
New jersey. II ET.
SYpNEl SMITH. - He assisted his
mcighhoI> in their clerical duties. and
+ an ancCuOtc Ot one of these occasions Is
still current in the district. for the au-
IhcntIcItN of which | will not VOuch,
hut which seems to me good enough Ia
ne true. He dinrd with the incum-
bent on the proceeding Saturday, and
the evening PASSED in great hilarity.
the square. by name kerSiaw. being
conspicuous for his loud enjoyment OF
the strangers jokes. II am very glad
that have amused lou." said Mr.. sgd
ncy smith, at parting, ''but YOU may
, not laugh ut my sermon Tomorrow
Il should hope / know the ditf,renc,
, between being here oI at church" re-
marked the gentleman, with some
-, sharpness. Il am not 50 sure of that,
replied the visitor. 'Ill bet you {;
guinea on it. said the squire. TAX,
= ou. replied the divine. The preach
rr asccudrd the steps of the pulpit ap-
/ Il