American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-05-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

ago. His hired girl went off to it an(
hasn't got back yet.
| A NEWARK man recently paid claim
of $500, all in old-fashioned coppers. The.
weighed four hundred pounds, and it tool
three men to remove them.
AN inquirer after scientific:information il
Concord, N. H., recently asked an apothe
cary "What is this new disease-thi:
Cerro-Gordo-final-M acginnis the paper
say SO much abOut?" -.
| A VIRGINIA railroad conductor has in
| vented a revolving signallight, to be at
tached to the rear of trains, by which the
Iengineers behind them can tell by the
| speed of their rotations, as shown by the
succession of different colored lights, a
| what rate the trains are moving, and wher
they are at rest. .
| A LA MODE OCTOsYLLABIc.-
| Since the Modocs concealed in their lava, defy
| Our troops metallurgc conchology,
Let Science" said Jones, with q wink in his eye,
| Extract them by Modocimology-"
"That is clever" said Brown; and would MOI
To care what mode doctors barbarians;
But fear ere they're extracated or caught,
| -ORPHEus G KERR, in the Graphic.
| DEATH from lightning is thought to be
| quite painless. Owing to the velocity
with which the electric current moves, il
| is believed that a person struck by light
| ming has no premonition of the blow
which he receives. The nervous system
requires a certain interval of time TO be:
come conscious of pain. The time of an
| electric discharge is but small fraction
| of this interval; hence, as a sentient APP
paratus, the nervous system is destroyed
before consciousness can set in
\ A BRILLIANT instance of joking under
difficulties lately occurred at Red Bluff,
/ Cal. The Joker was NJ. J. Donohue,
whose span of life had been limited by
| due process of law. He came to the
scaffold in buoyant spirits, and seemed to be
I'delighted with the prospect of getting out
| of the world SO soon. His remarkable
| gayety completely unnerved the Sheriff
| and the twenty or thirty friends who were
to see him off When the Sheriff put the
moose over Donohue's head, he turned to
the officer with a bland smile, and said
Il say, Sleeth, can't you put that under
| my armss l was always ticklish round
the neck" These were the humorist's
last words.
h. EVERYBODY has heard of the quack
doctor who was in the habit of giving his
patients medicine which would throw
them into fits and then doctoring them for
fits, which he considered his specially.
an old man calling himself DR.. Teasdills,
who was found dead in his office in
Buffalo few days ago. An examination
of his correspondence and accounts led to
the belief that the principal part of his
income was gained by persuading credul-
Gus patients that they were suffering from
the presence of frog in each of their
stOmachs, and then going to work vigor-
ously to exterminate the frog!
I SURGICAL OPERATION ON A HEN-A
gentleman living in Lexington, Mass,
bought some hens of neighbor. After
getting them home he noticed that one of
them had an immense crop, which hung
down nearly to the ground, and seemed to
cause her much trouble, if not consider
able pain. Being of kindly nature, and
always DESTROYS of alleviating the suffer
ings of the afflicted, besides being some
what of an amateur surgeon, it occurred
to the gentleman that he might perhaps
relieve the hen of her unnatural burden
He accordingly procured sharp instru-
ment, and making an incision through
her neck into the crop, took out large
dish-cloth, which in some greedy moment
poor biddy had swallowed. He then, after
applying water and lard to the wound
sewed it up, and the hen now is apparent
ly as well as ever. s-
DID you ever see man fish around in
the bottom of a tub of water for a piece
of soap? At the first he simply reaches
uOWH upon W plCh IL gnl anu
is very much surprised to find that he
hasn't got it. Then he approaches it more
cautiously, puts his hand over it, and then
comes down noiselessly until he gets every
finger upon it, and then squeezes it tight,
and-misses it. He looks at it for a mo-
ment before making another effort, and
fills up the interval with a few remarks.
The third attempt is sort of semi-circle,
described with great deal of sagacity,
- q q
Then he makes a succession of dives, and
Stops the water over his clothes, and
drenches the carpet, and catches hold of
the soap several times, and lets go of it
again, and screams at the top of his voice,
and finally, in perfect despair, sits down
on the floor and actually howls.-Ddia6ury
Ne,cs.
REMARKABLE PErR1FAcr1oN.-Geor
Poole, of Bridgeport, Conn, in exhuming
the remains of his grandmother, Mrs Abb
gail Poole, who was buried in the old
burying- ground on Pard avenue, nineteen
years ago, discovered that the body had
been petrified. The flesh upon a portion
Of the face and small spot upon the
breast and portion of the arms had de-
cayed ere petrifaction commenced, but
the remainder of the body looked as fresh
as upon the day of burial The solid flesh
rang like metal when lightly struck 1t
had become slightly disco1ored by the
earth, but upon scraping the limbs little,
the pure white was revealed, hard and
clear as polished ivory A singular thing
in connection with this remarkable dis
covery is that the cords of the neck were
loose and pliable, and, in raising the body
from the grave, the head hung over back
ward. The box and coffin had gone en-
tirely to decay, and the grave was partly
filled with water, which had to be bailed
out ere the body was reached. Mrs. Poole
was almost ninety at the time of her death.
A REvENGEFUL traveller on a certain
Western railroad packed "a carpet-bag full
of loaded revolvers, and handed it to a
gentlemanly baggage-smasher, who had
ruined three or four trunks for him
already. The smasher flung the bag up
against the wall savagely, and then threw
it on the floor and stamped on it, and
jumped up and down on it, as usual At
about the fourth jump firing began along
the whole line. Forty-six revolvers went
off in rapid succession, distributing bullets
around the car with disgusting careless
ness of the legs of the smasher, who was
of the car. He rode upon the platform
during the whole of that trip; and when
be did enter the car he encased his legs in
stove pipe, and ran an iron-clad snow
pillow in front of him to push the baggage
out with. He smashes, perhaps, fewer
carpetbags now than he once did in
the blissful past-much fewer; and he is
filled with gloom. The only boon he
Graves is that he may be present when the
carpet bag owner calls with his check.