The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-02-10
THE SANDWICH ISLANDS
Mark Twain's New Lecture.

Mark Twain delivered his lecture on
the Sandwich Islands, Wednesday night,
at Steinway Hall, New York city. The
lecturer on being introduced assured
the audience that he felt himself fully
competent to speak Of the interesting
locality to which public attention has
been lately directed, having spent seve-
raj months on the islands. They were 81
tuated about two thousand one hundred
miles southwest of San Francisco, but
why they were put in such an out-of'
the.way locality he couldrever ascertain
The geological structure OF the group OF
islands was described in the dry caustic
style for which Twain is celebrated. The
visit of the whites introduced civiliza-
ton and education and killed out the
natives. The latest reliable informa-
ton fixes the population at $4,000, and
when the benevolent foreigners start q
few more semiuaries, it is TO be hoped
that that event will materially help to
kill off the remainder OF the native po-
pulation. The females wear long
robe, the gentlemen generally wear
a smile and a pair of spectacles. The
humorous description of the king and
nobility kept the audience eonvulsed
with laughter. 1t was not to be sup
posed that the natives we're ignorant OF
scripture history; that they had some
idea of the fall of Eve. Mr.. Twain
proved by stating that it was death for
a woman to eat any fruit Of the island,
probably that they did not want to give
woman second chance. The Ameri-
can Missionary Society had started
schools and introduced printing, and
owing to their executions, there was not
a single uneducated native above eigh-
teen years old on the island, and the
nation was about the best educated in
the world. The expense of the mission
was paid by the Sunday school children
of America, and Mr.. Twain mentioned
the TACT that some thirty years ago he
invested 50 in the speculation. OF
course he did not mind the money, nor
did he wish to "show off,; the incident
was re tered to rs an instance OF con6d-
ing humanity, and be hoped it would
have its effect on the house. The ma
,ives are very hospitable, and feast
their guests on roast dog and friccaseed
cat-the ordinary American sausage
stripped of its mystery. The dog was
the pet OF the household, and the con-
slant companion of. the family, and
when fit for the table was killed and
served up, Mr. Twain bad no decided
objection 10 the dish, but he did not
relish the idea Of eating a personal
FREUD. There were no caunibals in the
Sandwich Islands. True, one addicted
to that barbarous custom settled on one
of the group, and getting tired OF digest
ing natives, he resolved to try q white
man with onions. This savage succee.
ded in capturing the captain of a
whslingship, tough old salt, who had
spent fifty years at sea, living ou shark
steaks and blubber, but he proved too
much for the digestive organs OF the in-
teresting native and he died ofthe feast.
with the crime on his conscience and
the whaler' in bis stomach. The various
peculiarities of the Ksnscks were
described by Mr.. Twain, ointerspers-
ed his discourse with humorous sket-
ches and witty illusions TO the topics Of
the day, which kept his audience in a
continuous roar of laughter. His atti'
tudes, gestures, and looks even his very
silence were provocative Of mirth. The
lecture will be repeated on Monday eve
ming.