The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-09-27
VARIETY

NEyEg.-ihe Danbury Ners meyer knew q
To b. elected to office Of trust who car
rIed horse chestnuts IN his pocket a. a preventive
Of Rheumatism.
A youth and maiden dancing the llnceT-
Ia the course Of the conversation which the dance
necessitatcs, he took to questioning her to her
accomplishments - Do you paint - hc asked
lie wonders what on earth she got mad about
An Iowa woman gave her husband a heavy
blcco- She broke him Of the costly and filthy
habit, but the funeral expenses would have kept
him in tobacco for several years.
\ Fort Wayne, Indiana. man who had been
married twenty-One years, never fully realized
the happiness Of the welded state until one day
recently, when his wife fell down and bit her
tongue - badly that she couldn't talk.
A druggist clerk at Savannah, Georgia, Gred
pistol into n barrel Of - nOn-expIosye - kcrO-
sene oil, Just for the fun Of the thing The bar
rel and the young man went off almost us quick
AZ the pistol did. and the funeral was largely at
tended.
WISE REGULTIOS.-ln London no building
Except a church, IL allowed to be built on any
new street Of a less width than fifty feet, which
shall exceed in height the distance from the front
"f the building To- the opposite side of the
street
We hear of coneasing OH their death bed
tO the crime Of murder, abduction and inCenda-
rism, but whoever heard Of 4 dying man confess
ing to borrowing his neighbor's paper instead of
subscribing for one Of his own Nobody. Death
cannot scare that man
NEEDN-r T BR4G.-There ~ 4 nice Young man IN
Chicago who says cOnfdentially that the Shah
needn't brag about his million-dollar oyercoat
lie does not remember the price of his last over
coat but II morally certain that If the interest
~ recovered, it will amount to considerable more
h.Fu
Oriental despOt will find that there are people
who can be just rs extravagant rs himself
A few years since there was Presbyterian
minister ut Columbus, Miss, who had 4 horror
ur shouting in church, which fact was well
known TO his congregation. One day, after he
had preached q very spiritual sermon, old
lady was observed TO leave the church in 4 very
hasty manner. Meeting her few days after
the minister asked her why she had rushed from
church so suddenly the Sunday before - Well, 8"
she responded, .. the fact is, 4 was filed with
grace in listening to your sermon, that I found
that | couldn't contain myself, sO | ran oyer to
the Methodist church across the way, and
shouted.
\ very touching case Of mental alienation in Il
charming young lady Is thus described by 4 care
iul observer; Not long ago her mother found
her in her room energetically darning stockings,
and soon after she appeared in the kitchen and
assisted that wondering dame III making and
signs OF intellectual disorder, her fond parents
Immediately sent for skillfnl physician. who
watched her through keyhOle while she se8ed
battOns on her fathers garments, and mended
t.hc5e of her little brother. Much affected, the
yenerable man remarked that never during a
medical practice of twenty-five years had he
Known any young person u manifest such symp-
toms rs these. The most heart-rending phase of
all. however was shown the other day, when her
kind father, with faint hope of rousing her
iron. her sad state, gave her 800 and told her To
Juy new dress. Alas twas useless She IN
-rantIy observed that she didn't need new dress,
and II b. would let her keep 80 to pay poor
widow Z, rent she'd much rather hc would fake
the rest o. the money for himself For few
1a,urents that griel-stricken old gentleman gazed
uuan his hapEsss child, then hiding his face, NUT
tered between his snbs '- Her mind IS gone.
g.-r mind is gone
Did vou ever sce 4 woman undertake t. SAW
-vyood IL is always 4 little while before dinner,
-r{,en the Dies won't bake and the potatoes absO-
.i,ys,Iv refuse To come 10 the boiling point, and
the InIy stick Of wood II exactly three inches too
IoD0. After vain attempts 10 prove the elasticity
.lr matter by putting 4 tWo-iOJt thrre-inch stick
INTO 4 two-f1ot stove. she goes out 10 the saw
horse puts her knee ON the refractory stick IN
tbe vvav she had seen men do. But the edges OF
rb. wood m. sharp and she takes It down again,
Nth an ejaculation and with growing disregard
Er- apuearauces, puts her foot on It instead HeT
ft,T- never fails tD come ubNl II THIS tuuttuIt'
and she has To stop and twist il into tight knot
bsbi6d before beginning 20 saw Here the saw
,,nrnme1ces 4 frantic jumping and skipping on IT.
-, ,cc,unt and the whole feminine mind being
tent mon keeping up the foot that is up, and
,t,syn tbe foot that should be down, until IN n
.IDIueIv moment the centre OF gravity ~ lost
rbe stick flies up, and launches blow NJ heI
nose inst a. somebody ~ going by She stops
mi pretends to be looking for something, Will,
lark thoughts Of divorce and SEPARATION tiasi
rbr1n0b her mind and she vows in ner innocent
,uI that she will never attempt tO saw Woo
aoaiu ir there never is any dinner. But he
rride and her dinner are ut stake, and all her M
tive Obstinacy comes u the surface she Will con
1uer that stick or die Fired by new tury
she succeeds IN saving tw0-thirds al the way
through and breaking off the Test 0t tit -
rotten raI-she goes into tine house 10 iiHd t'
p0tatOes boiled dry, and thu pie IN state oi sod
ten uncertainty The children come home iron
s,hooI and the husband from the shop, and hn'
4 kind Of hushed solemnity IN the air, and u,
ME for dinner The meridina meal ~ eaten u
siIence and bitterness Of heart, and then the wil
Of his bosom inquiries If she IL expected 10 tak'
c1re of the stable and feed the pigs. as well n
saw wood The man says - Hang 1t all, for
cot and the woman drops her sarcasm an'
breaks down IN the declaration that she D-e-Y-c-
will do 1T again, NEVER but she Will; si
will do II tomorrow and the next day, and tn
day after, for one Of the things that woman neVr
will learn, a. tina; -hr cannot slW w1Cd Dan
hmm Nlyre