The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1873-03-25
H U NJ 0 R 0 U s
A Darkey Sermon.
BY J. CESAR poMpEY SQUASH.

My culud washupers-- Hh
My tex am to be found in Pol Reweres
pisslos to dc Shawmutites, and de diden-
ticul wuds, transplanted from the Hessian
or de Hebrew--and duznt zackly know
witch-am desc
Lief ebery man mind his own biznes."
AS Hamlit sed to dc CHOSE in MacbefI,
ebery man hath biznis but dar war no
lophers nor bummers in dem days, an darfo
cherry man had sumfn to do; but ime sorry
to say dat in desc days tings am diffrent,
quinceqountly dar am CRATE many, spesh-
ally mung the wife trash, dat hab no biz
mis-, an darfo dey duznt airn de solt to dar
porridge, but contribe to git sumfin to eat
ebery day at dem charity instytewshus de
free lunch shops. To dis class hab noffin
to say, dey am beneaf de motifs OBJ fuss class
klurgycul oretur like myself an brudder
beechur. To dem dat bab bizniss shall
dress mysef to, for dey am de only people
in dis wurld dat hab any rites under de
declamashun OBJ Independence to be heah,
de ress OBJ mankine am no mo- useful in
runnin de consurns OBJ life dan jackass
am in town steem bulljine ober de balti-
mo an ohier ralerod
Let ebery man mind his own biznis.
| You, decon Shnowball and decon Smut
am in de renowatin ole clo' trade, and it
am youm biznis to mind it, and not be
lookin ater de bizniss oh Ginger Gush, or
Skipo Seampoo OBJ de barberous perfeshum.
| You Cicero cameron chanler Cowheal an
| Cudio Clamshel am in de clam an iceter
diggin biznis, and hab no mo- rite to in
westigait de biznis OBJ Sim Shinem and
Mungo Polish, who am perfeshunal boot
blacks, dan a coon habs to Investigate de
interier OBJ a woodchux hole. An you
Jim Linkem an Joe Mincemeet, sorsige
makers, had no mo- rite to inquire into
whar Tad Toddystick or Zeke Coktale
buys darl jury litenin Or Tanglefoot
whisky, den dey hab to seak to find out
which am de moss profitable perwishin to
to make sorsiges oh, hog or dog. An you,
Markus Orelius Smut and Zippeus
Smooch, chimbly sweaps, had no mo- rite
to interview de eternal ekonemy oh Susy
. Sugarbowl or Philisy Fattyma Fryinpan,
sistant cooks in de presidenshal kitchen,
dan you hab to crib leg OBJ mutton or
mungril gewse out OBJ de wite house larder.
AN you, Dandy Jim and Bone Swell, darn
Gin massas. you hab bess mind youm own
, biznis an not meddle wild de ministerial
dutys of youm pasture, who hab by his
teechin elevated you to de fuss culud sur
cles ob.de sity. In wud, warn you all
toYmind yom own biznis an neber pry into
de biznis and secrits OBJ oder fook's biznis.
All de mischief OBJ dis wurld, weder So
shul, morul or perliticul, groze out OBJ de
cherry day practiss OBJ moss people atendin
mo- to oder peepls biznis dan dey do dar
d own. De gratess wisdum in dis wuld am
: to know and do youm own biznis turrowly,
and be parfectly ignerunt oh dat OBJ oders.
For dc CRATE poic sayth-
}, Whar ignerunse am bliss,
Y IT am folly to be WISE"
Let ebery man mind his own biznis.
Oats wots de marter wild dem Kredit Mo-
!. beervah wigtims in Kongrs. Oats wot
ales Koolfax, Billy Patterson, Jimmy
/, Brooks, and lebenteen mo- OBJ dem wash.
n upers oh mammon. If Hoax names had
is only mindid his own biznis an KEEP de truft
d. to hesef instid OBJ blabbin it all out afo dc
4 committy, de dear people wud hab ber
muchs less wise an a good deal mo- happy
den Smiler mite hab smiled an smiled al
! maid money vile he smiled Patterson cue
10 hab KEEP on .preechin an prayin an ritiI
ID Plus articuls for de relijus loosepapers
al Jimmy Brooks cud hab still run his express
n an Alley cud hab pegged away to de last
Wot missfortin-all OWN to de shube
}. maker OBJ new Inglan, too; and it goze TO
I'd to show dat it am bess for ebery man t,
no mind his own biznis, wedder he am boot
brack or member OBJ kongriss
An you OBJ de fare seck-dont TIM da
ID you hab scaped de sarkasticul meenin ol
s. dis discoarse--for de tex am as applecabl
I,, Ic, to de sheminine gender as it am to de he
ry minnie, an prehaps geod deel mo- SC
An muss say dat IL dar am one ting da
de dear sweet creechurs lub mo- dan a
I'm oder it am lookin ater dem tings witc
7 moss consurn dar naybors.
" An now, my deahly belubed brudrin an
sistrin, my jewil oh a foe, we win contine
de serbices by totin round de hat, vic
pieus duty will be puffomed by Cato Cal
line Clogg.
De congogashun will jine wild me in sing
in de bewful tryoh oh de.
. "Free brack Krows."
Oea a