The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-07-24
Teachers Department.
t. IFor the News.
Lords of the Intellectual King
dom.

l. W y bAO PSOEle VI bue OH1G0U OGaL6S,
are supposed by those beyond ''the
, brlny deep" to be free and indepen-
: dent. Distance lends enchantment
to the view" What with Credit Mo
biher, Salary Grabs, and "School
Boards, we grow old prematurely in
| vain attempts to keep "the powers
} that be" in anything approaching re-
spectacle behavior.
If you want Committeeman in
capable of, and unwilling to mete out,
justice, give the Office to man of
) limited education. 0, ye with the
appointing power! In behalf of the
teachers of our land, 1 pray you re-
member, ga little learning is dan
gerous thing" Some noble Boards
of Examiners we have. These we de-
light to honor; they are dignifed, ju-
dicious, impartial-if they weigh us
in the balance and find us wanting,
we are sure there is no false weight
on ''the other side" But in this ar
ticle we will deal erclaesioely with Ex-
aminers of the mediocre stamp
1t is said by one who ought to
know, IF you want tofeel Ikea worm
of the dust ask Hotel clerk a ques-
ton. If you wish to feel like doz-
en- abject, helpless worms of the dust,
apply for certificate.
Pay your fifty cents and prepare
for day of humility, such as was
never dreamed of in the time of sack
cloth and ashes. Scowled at, sneer-
ed at, and, woe betide! if youth and
inexperience betray you into the fol
ly of asking the august Board ques-
ton, as, "what is that first word in
the fourth ine?" Luckless wight! 1t
is easy to understand how monkey
became a man, but how could the
.Boy-at-Mugby" graduate under the
teachings of "NIrs. Sniff" surpass her
in cool indifference, and "the art of
surveying the line through o trans
parent medium composed of your
head and body" come over to the
''States," and be subdiVided into
a countless number of Examiners?
A death-like pause of ten minutes
follows the rash youths interrogato-
ry. Then the portion of the "Boy-
at-Mugby" here present, shrugs its
shoulders. During this exciting and
impressive scene, the pens of the ap-
plicants, rest in mid-air, said appli-
cants by this time being reduced
to q state of servitude and insignif-
canoe.
The awful stiffness is finally bro
ken. Does he give the desired infor-
nation? Not he!
"Any one who can read writing
knows"
True, but how about Scrib6Iing?
The countless rebutfs, rude replies,
and general endeavors to annihilate
those in bondage for a day,may fill the
Committee with admiration for one
another, but the only effect produced /
on an observer is an ardent desire to
throw an ink-bottle at their devoted
heads. 1t isamazing that no one ever
tried the experiment. Possibly
Tact advised, ''Dont do it! it's their
peculiar way of enjoying themselves.
No difference-pet them up, and get
yoor certifcate|
II, after weeks patient waiting,
impartial reports were sent, the past
would be remembered against them
no more. In a certain county, in the
month of June, 1873, an Examination
was held; the questions well chosen,
but in Geography. the Examiner
scorns the sordid things of earth,
shakes from his pinions the dust and
dross of Natural, Mathematical and
Political divisions of the Science, scars
aloft into the blue ether, and in bird
like notes from that far height, com
mands:
Commencing nearest the sun,
mention four planets in their order"
Gone hour for Arithmeticl' What |
has become of the Golden Rule? The
Committee man" occupies fifty min
utes in writing the problems on the
black k-board. 1 leave it to any rea-
sonable human--can they be solved
in the remaining ten? For one can
not be expected to accomplish much
in Mathematics while head is ''bob
bin" up and down between him and
the precious Questions for Solution,
especially when the head belongs to
one who has rested beneath the frs
and cedar, of Lebanon, "a town in
Ohio and comes crowned with class
ic honors (?) from his Alma Mater
Time rolls on-certifcates and fail
ures are reported. 1 defy him to say
the returns were just To my know
ledge, worthy applicant is denied a
certificate. I defy him to send her
work to three men, capable of read
ing it with unprejudiced minds. They
will admire her penmanship, her cor
rect and concise answers, her well-an-
alyzed problems, the neatness of her
manuscripts, and grant her a "You
are hereby authorized, sc" for twelve
or eighteen months. And send along
the work of some who 'passed the
Board" See hoao they aciU stand the
comparison. Honor, Manhood, JUS
tice, demand it. Il know whereof I |
speak" There isno shadow of excuse
for the partiality in grades that day.
Whisperers say, fancy Gordian knot
they can't untieD 'She was from an
other county" All! Really? Let us