The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-02-21
MULE-RLDING FOR LOVE.

mean 81 CINlllZ6u creature accustomed to
good society, but wild steed of the plains
. brought up on grass and rattle snakes, and
accustomed to cavort regardless of the
/ Constitution as amended or the rights of
! man. Mules are pretty much alike the
world over, only the Texan mule is little
! more 50.
rode one the other day and I'm going
| 10 try to tell you about it. 1t won't be
! very well written, because my right arm
/ has been IN sling and ] have more bruis-
/ eS than bones. You see fell in love with
! a gll-deep as a forty foot WE'LL mean
/ my love, not the girl-she isn't deep at all
and as my luck would have it, another
| fellow fell about the same distance at the
! same time.
| He's not bad looking chap, and wears
! store clothes on week days. He parts his
hair in the middle and oils it up with ber-
! gamont and cinnamon. He has his name
| printed on pieces of paste-bOard and drops
them round promiscuously, foT fear people
might forget that a. Browne Swivel WASH t
| about. 1 had to acknowledge the fact that
between this fellow and myself, in the af-
iectlOnS of the divine Araminta, it was nip
and tuck, with tue dog little ahead.
L put on my best clothes one day and
walked over TO the girls house, intending
! to move on her works and have the thing
settled without further debate. My rival
was there and seemed to have en- his best
knew at ten o'clock, six hours after my
arrival he d have to wend his way home,
for the old lady that he boarded with didn t
allow any irregular hours.
II he got to his frugal couch, or rather
to the house containing it, he might skin
his knucl<les and kick his boots off, but he
wouldn't get in after that hour, and the
haymOw is not a pleasant bed room in flea
time. But l was soon relieved CT all anxi-
ETY.. We had diversion that soon broke
up the sitting.
Araminta is possessed of little brother
i hate girls brothers If they are lit
tie they play tricks on you, and if they are
big they borrow your money, get drunk
and insult you with impuuity, knowing
that you are in love with the sister, and
won't resent an insult.
While we were talking in a small way
and looking volumes of love atthe girl and
wrath at each other fearful veil in the
garden patch was heard, and running ont
we found her little brother on the ground
in active cOnyulsiOns. He had been trying
to eat his way through the melon-patch. =
Il was disgusting failure, for he could not
have busted open and gone into the con-
tents of moro than ten or twelve.
As it was it looked as though there was
going to be a death in the family, and Ara
minta screamed scream and yelled at us
to run for a doctor We both took in the
situation at q glauce-the man that got the
doctor first would get Araminta for life.
Ay rival went over the fence like a deer
md seized the only horse in the stable.
He bTidled and saddled the animal in dou-
bic quick time, while l found nothing left
but mule. l seized a blind bride, and
rushing at the animal, felt something whiz
over my head that | am satisfied was a pair
of heels. They narrowly missed my skull
but carried away my hat. Nothing daunt-
ed seized the creature by the ear, put on
the bride and unfastening the chain by
which he was halteTed, led him from the
stable. He went out willingly, so much so
indeed that had some difficulty in keep
ing up, and had not the creature stopped
on the outside to give vent to his feelings in
prolonged bray could not have mount
ed. AS it was, before he got through with
his musical entertainment / was on his
back.
The beast seemed somewhat astonished
at this performance, and stood turning it
over in his mind for a minute, while | dug
my heels vigorously in his sides. He seem
ed suddenly to come to the conclusion that
a change Of administration would be an eX-
cellent thing, and to this end began going
up and down Ike a saw gate, l really tho /
I'd split in two, and would probably have
been pitched over but that in the midst of
this pleasing exercise muley caught sight
of the horse disappearing at a hard gall2p
the Iaudable ambition of overtahing that
horse, and started suddenly he came
very near leaving me behind. | worked
my way forward until | got hold Of the hal
ter chain, and pulling this rigging taut,
got a pretty secure hold.
How the beast did run He not only
gained on the horse to such an extent that
Araminta might have offered two TO one
and no takers, but exhibited his super
abundance Of bottom by throwing in, at
intervals. the livelest kicks that ever ema-
mated from a mule. About a mile out we
closed in on the cob, and a. we passed
Muley favored him with salute that was
most internally foul for planting his two
heels upon the off quarter Of the honest
Bucophalus 1 heard yell, and glancing
around l saw my rival and horse go down
in the most prOmiscuOus manner. My
steed of the desert kept straight on. We
had a ride of eight miles before us, and
felt satisfied that in that distance, at the
rate we were travelling, Muley would have
a good des.i sf the VIM taken out Of him.
became aware of another faCt, that was
that my best pants were giving away.
About five miles out we struck a water
melon patch and went right through |
could hear the melons bursting under me
like bombs; and when we emerged from
the further side specimens Of this fruit
were strung on the mules legs like beads.
A mile beyond this I saw our excellent
minister of the gospel vending ms way
across the prairies with wagon full OF in
fant Jacobs. and I saw also that unless be
whipped his horse Old Hundred to most
extraordinary speed we would be into him
instanter. ! pulled hard on the near rein
with one hand while l steadied myself with
the other, but with no more effect than if
had taken a pull on Pixies Peak. We
struck the parsons family about amidships
and went through. I never saw infant
Christianity so scattered as it was on that
occasion.
l left the parson gathering up his fami-
| ", and continued until | struck the doc
| tors fence. and went flying into his front
door with the bull dog close at my tattered
| rear knocked over the cradle and upset
the supper table. The doctor came to my
! rescue with kick in the ribs of his dog
that sent him with howl and a mouthful
| of pantaloons into the yard. l then told