The Lincoln County herald., 1873-05-14
Domestic Experience.

Putting up stove is rot SO difficult IN
itself. 1t is the pipe that raises foAr-
fifths of the mischief aud all the dust.
You may take down stove with all the
care in the world, and have your wife
put away the pipe In secure place, and
yet that pipe won't come together again
a. it was before. You will find this out
when you are standing on chair with
your arms full Of pipe and your mouth
full of SCOT. Your wife is standing on
the floor in y position that enables her to
see you, the pipe and the chair, and here
she gives uttcrauce to those remarks that
are calculated to hasten mau into the
extremes of insanity. Her dress is
pinned over her waist, aud her hands rest
on her hips. She has got one Of your
hats on her head, and your linen coat on
her back, and a pair Of your rubbers Oh
her feet. There IL sbout five cents
worth of pos black on her nose, aud q
lot of flour on her chin, and altogether
she is u spectacle that would inspire a
dead man with distrust. Aud while you
are up there trying to circumvent the
awful coutrariness OF the pipe, and telling
that you know some fool has been mixing
it, she stands safely on the floor and
bomdards you With such domestic mot.
toes as, Whats the vse Of swearing
so;" "you know no one has touched cha,
pipe !" "you amt got any more patience
than . ch,ld,;' "do be careful OF that
chair" And then she goe' otf and re.
appears with an armtul Of mole pipe, and
before you sre aware Of it she has go'
that pipe SO horribly mixed up that il
does seem no two pieces are alike.
You join the ends. aud work them tt
and fro, and to and fro again, aud thel
YOU take them apart aud look ut them
Then you spread one out and jam th'
other together, aud mount them onc'
more. But it is no 20. You begin t.
think the pieces are Inspired With life
aud ache to kick them through the wio
dow. But she doesn't lose her patience
, She goes around with chat awfully exas
peraiiug rigging on, with length of pip
under each arm, aud q long handle'
broom in her hand, and says she don
; see how it is some people never hav
aay trouble putting up a stove. The!
, you miss the hammer. Sou don't see
anywhere. You stare into the pipe
, along the mantle, and down on the stove
, aud of on the Aoor. Your wife watche
, you, and is finally thoughtful enough t.
, inquire what you are looking after, an
on learning, pulls the article from he
pocket. Then you fsol as if you coul
q go out doors aud swear hole tselve fec
! square through a block Of brick build
ings, but she merely observes: "Wh
, on earth dont you speak when you wan
. anything, and not stare round like
dummy" When that part Of the PIP
which goes through the wall is up, sh
! keeps it up With her broom, while 20
! aro making the connection, and stares
|. it with On intensity that is entirely ur
called for. All tho while your positio
!, is becoming more aod more interesting
= The pipe don't 20 together, Of course
The SCOT shakes down into yous moatl
. the sweat rolls down your faco an
; ticLles your chin as it drops of, and
, seems as if your arms ore slowly bs
4 surely drawing out Of their sostes.
L Here your vile comes TO your rescu
2 by asking il you are going to be all da
Q doing nothing, aud if you think her cru
/ ars made Of cast ifos. and thep the 'broo'
!, slips off the pipe. aud in her sndeavor
f recover her hold she jsbs you undeo til
a chin with tho handle, and she pipe come
g down with ito load OF fried soot. aud the
the chair hl,s forward enough 10 di'
y charge your feet, and You come down
4 the wrong end of that chair with fore
|. that would bankrupt pile driver. 70
A do,', ,ouch that stoya aralu. iou leas