The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-21

vast popularity among pubesccnt schooi i'iSSc'
and apparently for very good reasons \ pup
writing home for box Of soft slate pencils ah'
gum,drops 10 eat adds:
we 10 have such fun here. All the Slris arr
made 10 participate in outdoor exercises, an,
we row on the lake. ride horseback, turn 'itiu
springs. run foot-races and have lots OF lhh
Belle Hastings can climb thlrty-tWe 100
smooth pole in two minutes. Nell vivian yot
remember herr can turn handspring and MOI
make wrinkle in her dress put Il ocautiIu
head on Mary Dodge yesterday in the boxing
room."-St. Louis Democrat.
A little practical joke sometimes makes
cheap of trouble, 1t happened in TINS way
Two younp men are sweet on the same girl. one
Ibuys a packare Of gum drops to present To her
but the other man substitutes paper Oh "iite
beans II is not until o'clock IN the morning
that matters are explained and RECOMMENDATION
effected.
| We know Of no place so well adapted to have
a peculiar affinity for Capt. Jack as La Sale
The following from the Press therefore eNeiteS
no surprise;
We recret 10 learn that Capt, Jack, OF the Mo
doc not0riety will be unable TO attend the celc-
bration to be held at this place on me coming
Fourth, which will be great disappointment
The following is at present the popular West
Side Chicago boarding house lay:
While beefsteak and vsnsion costs lots ol cash'
Re II ever so gristlv, there's nothing Ike hash
The scrapings and lcavings OF no use elsewhere,
When mixed altogether make excellent ilrc'
Cbor,a,-ITa.h. hash, good meat hash;
Eo p ever so grstly, there's nothing lih"
hash.
A stranger from home, hotels dazzle in vain,
o rive me cheap clearinghouse food that's more
The waiter who gaily rc.cchocs my cali
For nice plate Of hash or a single tsh "a'L
cao~s-Ho~h, hash, etc
\ rlral sport" having sent an order to a city
dealer for d fishing tackle was rather taken
abacL on finding large box at the express Office
and a & q. D. for $50. The box contained the
following articles:
s pair Of gum boots, green larpaulln hat, a
meerscham pipe, o box OF cigars, par OF OIL
cloth gloves, "a four gallon jug Of old Bourbon,
four pounds Of red heIrings, five pounds of crack
ers, four pounds Of bologna sausage, three dozen
lemons, three pounds Of sugar, two packages OF
steamboat cards, i've pounds smoking tobacco, 4
bottle Of bay rum, pair OF slippers, charles |
Rcade's last novel, and a minnownet.
A Grundy county assessor asked a woman how
many chickens she had, and, doubling her word,
to count them. She took him TO the .
beehive. kicked it over and invited him to count
the bees He'll take a woman'S word next time,
Mr. Walker lately read letter to the British
association ut Brighton on Dnitrebrombcn-
,cne" The local paper states that It was full of
such words as monOnitrom0nObrombc and
ctamonitromonobombcn and therefore not
Intended for light reading.
Plsntam0ur, whose comet failed TO come
ONE TO time last summer and smash this num-
lane sphere, now prophesies that in the year
OIL the earth viii get SO cold that every
ody will be frozen to death. We have cOnclud-
OF to wait for that winter.
The boreaycd Jones became wrathy because
le editor in his obituary of Mrs Jones said
She lived fifty years with her husband and died
the hope OF o better life''
Henry Ward Beccher has the hay fever again,
I'd is advised 10 20 to Col0rado.-EL.
Probably misprint. From what the papers
" lately his trouble seems to be rather the lazy
yer.
The Youngstown .irgoS is insi"uatirc, saying:
Senator b. is always determined TO 20 To the
OF tom Of everything he discusses. just now
c j. discussing the character Of young lady
lille .t.ll In her teens did it with keg of pow.
or planted in the collar,
The latest feminine style OF wearing the hair
called the skye terrier style because itattracts
lc puppies.
Tie following concise and comprehensive note y
as sent 90 a Bloomington merchant by neigh
1rine farmer the other day: send me a trace /
luiu and two hinges. Jane had baby last I
ight--also Two padlOcks."
4 Young lady at Grcenville, Tenn, recently
resented her lover with an deliberately con
tructcd pen.wiper, and was astonshed the fol
owing sunday to see him enter church wearing
as q crayat
The editor of the Valparaiso .N"sepge' 10 hap
y. lie has secured the services Of first class
rui,er, and crows right Justify. Hear him;
Some new papers do not hold themselves re.
ponsihc for the opinions Of their correspond 7
nts. We do, having Just engaged lighting edi- ,
Dr, and all persons feeling aggricved at Cnything
nat may appear in the Messenger are notified I
hat satisfaction is given on demand. II
Tho people Of folrbury having proposed to i
lcct very intelligent and competent lady of
hat city county superintendent of schools, the
Pontiac papers are making great hustle aboutit.
Those Pontiac papers are large, elastic and I'M
'urpasscd-lor making bustles.
The bachelor editor of the Carrollton RegNier
gets mad when the Alton bcauI pay too much
attention to the Carrollton girls. Perceive
When We see young Cnrrollton girls, scarce.
~ out Of their teens, hunted and doggcd
all day around Monticello, by prize specimen
Of the wrinklcnccked, stump.hOrncd, Alton
,crub-bull, it suggests the idea of hickory club
or the butt end of u hoop pole!