Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-01-01
A CHRISTMAS NIGHTS ADVENTURE.
BY EDMUND H. YATES.

The adventure which [ am about
to relate is the only one that [ really
ever had. Some people are perpet-
ually having adventures they never
go anywhere or do anything, without
being placed IN most peculiar posi-
tions by wonderful combinations of
circumstances. My friend Vavasour
Pelham rejoices principally in anna
tory adventures, and his experiences
are full of raven tresses, flashing eyes,
exchange of love tokens, dark nights,
stolen meetings, with concluding hints
of sharp poniards and yaNning sacks :;
whereas little Griggs never returns to
the Draft and Docket Office after his
months ramble on the Continent
without having been crushed by ava
lanches in Switzerland, seized and car
ried away to the mountains by brigands
in Italy,. and, in the back slums of
Paris, put into wonderful beds which
sink through the floor and deposit him
in some blood stained cellar, whence
he is only rescued by his own personal
vaIor and acquaintance with the noble
art of self-defence. But to me these
things have never happened; [ have
never seen an avalanche except from
a safe distance, never met a brigand
except upon the stage, and never found
anything in the beds of Paris worse
than-you know what! t!-and yet [ have
had one adventure in my life, and this
is how it occurred:
A few years since (no matter how
many; suffice it to say that at the time
[ was unacquainted with rates and
taxes and the price of babies shoes J,
finding that, owing to there having
been a death in the family where [
usually dined on Christmas-day, our
annual gathering would not take place,
and being rather used up and over,
fatigued, I determined to take a hoi-
day and spend the Christmas out of
town. The resolution once made, the
difficulty was to decide upon destina-
ton. and with a blank face [ looked
through the list Of invitations [ had
received. First and foremost found
the noble name of Dunsinane-his
Grace the Duke of Dunsinane, who is
now keeping open house at his magni-
fcent castle, "The Haggis," Renfrew-
shire. [ was acquainted with his
Grace's younger brother, the Hon.
Malcolm Macbeth, and was sure of a
polite reception. Should [ go down to
these noble people? Should put up
with a bachelors bed room on the
fourth story of the castle?-a bed room
| bell-less and uncomfortable. into which
| the wind whistles and the Scotch mist
penetrates in which [ should have to
| climb on to the bed when there was
| occasion to open the door. and where
| the domestic rat would hold his nightly
revels? Should [ consort with the
company there assembled, making up
nv mind to bear old General Blanquo's 5
blunt vulgarity and young Captain
Fleance's lisping impertinence Could
[ endure Sir Hercules McNab's ancestry
and Lady Cawdor's rheumatism
Should I, surrounded by all the Dun
shane males and followed by all their
gillies, stamp and struggle over barren
moors or should ], extended on my
stomach, in the words of the lyric poet,
''folIow the stag from his slippery
crag, and chase the bounding roe, ho,
ho, no, ho -? Finally, while the noble
company was fuddling itself over claret
and toddy after its hard days sport,
should [ make mirth for it ?-should L
be funny, sharp, smart, witty, in my
usual agreeable manner n. b. This
being expected of me, as payment for
my board and lodging, I being regard
ed by all present as rather superior
Jack pudding. No! that last thought
decided me to the Haggis [ would not
go!
Where. then? Should [ spend my
Christmas with Diball-Tom Diball, OF
the Stock Exchange, who married my
cousin Barbara? Tom is a good fel-
low, with a nice house in Hertford
shire, good horses, pleasant grounds
and excellent wine. There is the bed
room, frst-rate there could [ do as |
chose-eat, drink, smoke and read.
No not read there's the rub. There's
was not book in Toms house except
McCulloch's Commercial Dictionary
and list of Lord Brushton's fox
hounds l spent two wet days there
once, and was driven nearly mad. Be-
sides, Toms conversation, though pleas
ant at first, bores after ten minutes.
[ do not deny that the ages and prices
of a mans stud are interesting subjects
to him, though perhaps they possess
not such attraction to the world al
large; aud although the rates Of con