Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1873-02-12
For the Waterman.
Onr " Uncle Johns Yarns.


Ncssrs Editors In the following sketch,
which was told me by one Of the oldest in
habitonts Of this county we have endeavored
to retain the original narrator's pronunciation
as literally rs possible. We have, with
simple change Of names, reproduced q story,
the original characters in which will, we are
sure, be recognized by many Of your readers.
r.
"Ye never hearn tell o. ole Joe Hale
Wall, that is kinder queer, now. Should
thought yer fathere'd teled ye on him. Yer
father allus loved good joke, yer father did,
and he was the masterest hand ter member
that ever wus Why, I've sot over thar on
that ar settle bind the stove and hearu hin.
tell stories till twas runnin' on fur twelve
o'clock, and could sot there till mornin'.
He'd kinder make ger see everything he told
o.
Wall, Joe was the all fredost Teller for
playin of all sort O. tricks ye ever see. No,
he warntez acty honest, -couldn't say he wus
but he was jolly Teller, and awful kind to
anybody that wus sick, peared cz tho he'd
run his legs off fur EN- so folks kinder furgig
him if he did take chicken or two or if he'd
cheat like blazes at poker. He's kinder brassy
and alters knowed jest what ter say. Law, he
squirm through a knot-hole nobody else cud
squirt through, jest ez slick ez though he's
lied
Why, one day long in the fall he went
and stole uncle Ben's chickens, and had EN- in
an ole meal bag slung over his shoulder,
when, as he's goin' long home an hour or two,
arter, who SD d he see but uncle Ben comm
down the road. Joe, he went long, bold 5 a
lion, and said, Good mornin,' glad ter
see ye out this mornin, - jess as inherent
ez though he's goin hcine arter watchin'
with corpse. When, uncle Ben, SEES he
" Some scamp's been and stole all them airly
chickens O. mine and Joe, he draws hi,
face down and ses, That's 'tarnal mean when
you tuck 50 much pains with EN-" "What
shuii dew ses uncle Ben. " Hunt and
sarch till ye find who did it and then pros cute
EN-, that 5 what d do and I'd help We hunt
but I've been gone a spell and wanter gel
home, and then he went long ez though
'twus nothin but a mess o corn in his bag.
"Neyer hearn o turkey rafilin'? Sho why
I've knowed men year arter year to git the
Thanksgiyin' turkey by rafiln'. Wal, on'
year. down at old Brookses-him as kept tn,
tavern in the holler years goa lot Of us wen
ter see the fun. They he'd the biggest turke,
up ever seed. Squire Downs owned it, anC
/ Iafl f.t 10 i.,hf to ii
months till twas swelled up like barr'l
Did rattle too? Yes, once n awhile, list t.
keep things lively. Their was Jim Cooke an,
Bill Humphrey and lot others, and we'd play
ed som two or three times, and Cooke--ye
know Cooke? the one thut died tother day.
used ter play Wall, don't wanter say b
cheated, 'zactly, but somhow he won the tut
key evry time. We knew he didn't orto hay
it; and the rest OF US, WEE shy ii away, 50
he b'gun to think twas slip'ry business. 9
last he jest dropped the bird on the ajor, kinde
under the table, and put his Fetched whol
ping ieet-onter the turkeys legs, and swor
by Judas, that bird w'd belong to ther WHINE
mex time. Now, ye see Joe Hale, he see W ha
Cooke was upter, and ses he, " Guess | won
play this yere time I'D drather look on"
he looks at EN- awhile till they got to goir
pretty lively then he slips under the tabl,
maxim no more noise than mouse, and VI
ints the legs. Then he crqwls back nigh til
door, prompt 2 a major. lie alus had hi
head right up, no matter what he'd been doin
on.
"Wall Jim Cooke, he beat Us, he most allu
: did, and he reached down to haul up the tu
key, and laid out his strength ralo smar
when up come only the turkey legs. III Jil
warnt beat, then NJ matter, and some on 1
was oriul tickled, fur Jim warnt the honeste,
hand at pack . cards that ever was, Jill
warnt
"Did Joe keep the turkey? Course he di,
and asked us all over to Thanksgiyin' dime
next day."