The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-02-21
CIR lrilsorrat.
21, 1873.
sCrssoR1Nas.

A sea -saw-The sword-fsh.
Grave Observation-Disclosures.
Capital aff hrs National loans.
A press gang-Printers devils.
Brogue Anrs come from ireland.
The present day-Your birthday.
unredeemable bonds-Vagabonds.
The original water-works-Eve's
eve.
Church belles-The rectors daugh-
ters.
A waiting race-The next gen.
Grafton.
The condiment for late dinners
Keichup.
Strange bed -clothes-Three sheets
in the wind.
\ lazy cook-One that critters"
away her time.
What deity do pugilists usually in
woke? Bacchus.
Why is this continent like milk?
Because it's ours.
An essay on man-A woman's at
tempt to marry him.
II three miles make q league, how
many make conference?
\ running account-The bank
rupt's balance at the bankers.
The worst kind of education-To
be brought up by policeman.
When doctors differ" they're
very apt to lose their patients.
Why is the letter Y like a young
lady ? Because it makes pa pay.
4 kangaroo Is curious chap:
when it's wide awake it's leaping.
The Phoenix was raised in hot
bed, and that's what made him soar.
An Irish gentleman speaks of the
Mississippi as 1.-The father of Nc
Waters"
Why are good resolutions like
fainting ladies? Because they want
carrying out.
The Pacific Slope-The Quaker
Peace Commissioners running from
the Indians.
In what cases is it absolutely i'm
possible to be slow and sure? In the
case of a watch.
4 little girl at Dubuque amended
the Lords Prayer by asking for her
daily gingerbread.
Why is the alphabet like cutting
the first teeth? Because it is taught
yer {turture) when young.
An Arkansas girl having named
her kitten Dolly Varden,' her little
brother named his Thomas Warden"
''Now Johnny" says grandma. 81
want you to sit just as still as a
morse. ''Mouses don't sit still,
grandma" Sure enough.
4 New Yorker adver.ises for "a
boy to open oysters about Is years
old. Half dozen in the shell would
be enough of that kind.
\ down East farmer says that with
him, bean poles have been a better
crop than potatoes. He shelters
them III winter to preserve the
sprouts.
When a naughty little boy breaks
window he should be punished, on
the principle that pains and penalties
go together.
Men are frequently like tea: the
real strength and goodness are not
properly drawn of them until they
have been for short time in hot
water
The Ne1cs says guileless Danbury
man saw a beautiful chrome adver-
tised ''for fifty cents, and sent on
the money and received the jack
of clubs.
Somebody ilquiring at the Spring
field, ILL.,. postoffice for letter for
Nike Hove, received the gruff an
swer that there was no letter there
for anybodys COW.
Theodore Hook was once punnine
on names when gentleman named
Dunlop defed him to pun on his
name. 60" said Hook, 'lop of
half the name and it is Dun"
We have the record of the last
words of the great men of the Older
time. We have none, however, oi
Socrates, for Xantippe would never
allow him to have the last word.
Miss Dimdon has recovered $3.50
damages against Faeinar Culhane, al
Dublin, for breach of marriage con.
tract. He being only 10 could moi
secure the consent of his brother.
The New York theatrical managers
have resolved to dispense with the
use of bills and posters, and rely fol
their communication with the public
solely upon newspaper advertising.
A man and his wife, named Wilson
respectively 81 and 80 years old
died within few hours of each other
at Amerieus lind the other day
and were buried IN the same grave
It is estimated that four hundred
yards of tulle went up the aisle OF
six bridesmaids at fashionable wed
ding in New York recently. Thei
other clothes were beyond human
computation.
WHAT HE KNEW ABOUT TuREsHING.
The Titusviile Press gives an accoun