Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-12-18
Humorous and Witty.

WHAT has q cat that nothing else
has2 Kittens. =
TIE bats are 80 thick at yorktown,
Va, that evening church services are
interrupted by the minister dodging.
NEXT to street preaching there is no
employment which yields 20 little 70
turn as winking at pretty girl through
= pair of goggles.
A Kansas City tombstone. pays tho
following beautiful tribnte. to lnno-
cence:
"w,th' yen and wboop ..
He disd Of the Group" -,
TINS il the manner in which the Chi
cago Post announces the death Iate in
that CITY :-"O "Only Sc Ohisago,ns left
the world for the e'ys;an fields last
week"
"YEs, SIR, when . man IN Louisians
finds . stranger in his hog pen be has
right to shoot that stranger down."
is the decision of Louisiana judge"
uorlaochi Who married The bravo fsz,s Jaek.
81 1sn1s :a thought asF II .sss ';:: e1
with pasos for to eany 1spoosss.
An {" old citizen'' wishes 10 inform
the public that ssthere's no use trying
to break those iron coal hole coveFs BY
setting down on EN-" ...,z.
CERRBRo- -sPmAL-llENMo is tough
word for teleeraphefs ~ Rese eAold of on
the wires. 4 Sioux City lightning
jerker'wrote it out g Clarabo Spenoer's
Menageria-
ICELAND holds out almost irresistible
inducements to :en,eFsptsss from New
England in tho announcement ttat
there isn't a solitary lecturer within its
boundaries. 80 sgi: sHs
Mn. MARsHA1L., of lIOva, made . win
on his death-bed which read: I be-
queath my wife one dollar 70 buy .
rope tv hang herself" The woman
didn't snume any at his funeral
THH following epigram Vas made
when DR.. Goodenou9h, Bishop of Car
Isle, was one day appointed to preach
before the House of Peers:
"Th we'll enough thst 0oodeaoush
Be4oR~ The lords shoaN 1solh;
He usde9tafes 70 teseh -.
"JuB1," saida Western Judge, eeyou
kin 70 out and find q verdict. If you
can't find one Of you own, GET the one
the last Jury used. -, Tie juryreturned
Q verdict of suicide in the ninth de-
gree.
Tn Boston Traveller remarks that
for real unadnlteseted :sensetion, for
tragic and blood-curdlirg reading, 70 .
person fifty miles from the locality,
there is nothing that compares With
list Of premiums at county fair.
An epitome of Augusta. Ga, society
is the following advertisement, which
was in the Chronicle: S The gentle
man Who dropped his slung shot in the
Opera House Arcade can obtain the
same by calling st this Office and prov
ing property. %ei z7:sz1r:ess
AQuAxRR oomplimented ono Of his
sect Who had joined an Episcopal
Church on the new organ used there.
"Wby. I thought thee objected to
church music {" S All. 60 I do" Vas
the reply; 'sbut it thee must worship
God by machinery, 1 want theeto have
the best" 49, es.<.;< = 4r...
AoAITLE disease, of 90 disagrceab]e
nature that it causes the animals If
fected by il 70 commit suicide, has
broken out on tho Asiatic shore of the
Bosphorus, and has been omcially
reported at Constantinople. II il.
characterized BY frothing ga& tbemouth,
running from the eyes and nose, loss
of appetite, great heat, and : thirst 30
insupportable that some Of tho beasts
attacked by the il]ness cast themselves
headlong into adjaeent streams, and are
drowned. The disease has been In
existence for upwards of . month in
several villages on the upper Bosphorus
and Scutari. Is attacks bullocks and
COWS exclusively.