The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-03-14
OUR JEFFERSON REGULAR.
JEFFERSON, March 10, 1875

tlOnS- tHILIP LOW.
OUR JEFFERSON REGULAR
JEFFERSON, March 10, 1878.
Editor Democrat
AS have few leisure moments this
evening to vote TO terrestrial affairs,
I concluded to inform you that I had
again arriyed at Jefierson-the land of
my birth; or, If not exactly that spot,
it is the place where that important
event in our nations history would
have transpired if I could only have
had nay own way about it; and moth
ing could give me greater pleasure
than the privilege of laying down my
valuable life in defence of its sacred
institutions-its ''gum-sucks'' in par
ticular. These rery social entertain
ments are, l believe, L jefferson spe-
ciality; or, at most, they appear to be
obsolete in other places, unless per-
haps in some remote corner of the
backwoods. There is naught under
the starry 'canoPy OF heaven" that
will send the life blood OF Us ':stove
loafers'' coursing through our veins
with such lightning velocity rs the
mention of that one wori-'' gum
suck" Fhat L thrill Of ecstatic bliss
in anticipation what dreams of vol
uptuous pleasure and delightful enjoy
ment its comprehensive syllables call
forth.
Well, was mistaken when / stated
that the season for these rare enter
tainments was over, for we have had
two since then, but the first didn't
Span out'' very we'll The last, how
ever, we gave out a. an oyster supper
and it drew equal to 4 "pitch pine
plaster ;" but I couldn't attend as !
had 10 clean shirt with open back to
wear, and as the reports about the af
fair are somewhat conflicting 1 will
drop the subject, but will mention an
other which might be termed "socia
ble," that occurred the same night in
q thicket above town, wherein multi
tudes of bottles of Hostetter's bitters
and alcohol, together with a countless
number of eggs and chickens, are re-
ported as having ''mysterious.y disap-
pearedn This reminds US that our
new druggist has fully and satisfacto-
rily demonstrated that the qualities of
the above-mentioned beverages are
equal TO the finest "rot-gut :" and that
they are possessed of the same rowdy-
breeding. peace-disturbing elements.
He has been driving a very lively
trade in this peculiar branch Of his
business, selling indiscriminately to
old "topers'' and young ruffians,
whether drunk or sober, thus defraud-
ing the more honest whisky dealers of
other towns, and swindling our city
out of the price of licenses which had
just as weil be granted to some more
respectable doggery. And this "moral
leper" purposes continuing this busi-
ness, unmindful alike of the entreaties
and renaonstranees of citizens and the
tears and supplieations of wives and
mothers who are directly interested,
because, forsooth. he is protected by
the quibbles of the law (What about
the higher law, brother w p. Yet
this specimen of the scum from the
lowest vaults in the regions os the
da-ned has the unparalleled efront-
cry to occupy front seat in a building
dedicated to the worship of almighty
God-as follower of the meek and
lowly Jesus. The name he bears has
already been imnortaliZed through
the columns of the DEMOCRAT, and we
now leave him with the flattering as
suranee that his putrescent carcass will
never be disturbed by buzzards nor
worms after death, nor neei he have
any fears of ever disgracing the realms
beyond the mythical river Styx, for
his soul is too small to be discernible,
even through the most powerful mi
croscope in the possession of His Sa-
tanic Majesty.
Enough for the present.
ALPHA.