Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-12-02
LARRoARD AND sTARBoARD.
erect of Twins ON a st. Louis Re.
porter.

Erect of Twins ON a st. Louis Re.
porter.
From the st. Louis Reporter.l
A young, woman in street car with
two results of her loves young dream, OF
a year old, sitting up in her arms like
two funny little china images. 1t is i'm
mediately assumed that the funny little
results are twins. They are dressed
alike, and have similar chubby little fat
legs, and fat dumpling fists, and the
turned-up fat little nose of the larboard
babyis the identical spit of the baby on
the starboard, and they are both endeav-
oring to make hearty meals out of the
dumplings in the same beautiful style OF
early cannibalism. They stare at each
other ont of their bright goblin little
eyes, as If they were very old acquaint-
ances indeed, and could tell thing or
two of each other if they would, but are
bound by solemn compact not to di-
vulge, until they are through with their
contracts for finishing the dumplings.
They must be twins, and are so much
alike that nothing less than mother s
instincts can tell the difference between
them, and even then it is wonderful how
she can do it without strawberry mark
stamped somewhere on one of them.
Yes, looking again, there is a distinc-
ton. The larhoard baby has the dirtiest
little nose ever exhibited by reputable
twin with chubby legs, within the limits
of public conveyance. We look in
wonderment at that baby's nose, and
rush to the conclusion that a hydrant
has bursted somewhere in his inside. Ii
it isn't hydrant, what is it? One fact
is patent-the larboard baby cares no
more for an interior hydrant with a nose
attachment than he does for financial
panic, Nor does the starboard baby
either.
The poor little mother-she is not
much bigger than good-sized, family
Thanksgiving turkeys terribly anx.
ious about the nose of the larboard
baby. At any other time that dirty
little nose would be a well spring OF
pleasure to her, but it isn't now. She
rubs it with strong parental resolution,
always the wrong way, and with red
cotton handkerchief, until the nose OF
the larboard baby is as ruby red as a
beet and the larboard baby himself
looks UP into her face, as if to say,
How long, Oh Lord, how longT All
this time the starboard baby is smiling
wonderfully bright smiles Of goblin Joy,
and kicking up his sbsurdly chubby lit
tie legs in way totally nnmindful of
the proprieties Of high toned society.
Altogether he looks as if there were
nothing in this world halt SO splendid
as the contemplation Of the dirty little
nose of his larboard brother being
rubbed red hot. l.,
We take long five cents worth with
those chubby twins and that happy little
mother with the red cotton pocket hand
kerchief, and we go out of our way to
see her rub her larboard offspring the
wrong way OF Ills nose. As for the star
board eherub, nothing can be more sub
lime than his enjoyment of his crother 3
martyrdom, while both larboard ana
starboard continue to elevate their legs
in a most disgraceful manner, and gum
their dumpIings with a perseverance,
worthy of all praise. There is, after
all. one great good in dirty little nose
as long az it lasts, we thought, as the
mother and her twins left the car-thls
little woman can tell larboard from star
board if they happen to get mixed up