Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-04-25
Miscellaneous Reading.
+ UNCLE SAMMY.

soME men were born for great things,
Some were born for smnll.
Some-it Is not recorded
Why they were born at all;
But Uncle sammy was certain he had logitima
call,
Some were born with a talent
Some with scrip and land;
some with spoon Of silver.
- And some with different brand;
But Uncle Sammy came holding an argument
each hand.
Arguments spouted within him,
And twnked in his little eyes
He lay and calmly debated
When average babies cry,
And seemed to be pondering gravcly whether b
live or die.
But prejudiccd on that question
lie grew from day to day,
And finally he concluded
Twas better for him to stay;
And into lifes discussion he reasoned and rcasonc,
his way.
Through childhood, through youth, into manhoo,
Argued and argued he;
And he married simple maiden,
Though scarcely in love was she;
But nc reasoned the matter so clearly she hardl,
could help but agree,
And though at first she was blooming.
And the new firm started strong
AND though Uncle Sammy loved her
And tired TO help her along,
She faded away in silence, and twas evident some
thing was wrong,
Now Uncle Sammy was faithful
And various remedies tried
He gave her the doctors prescriptions
And plenty Of logic beside;
But logic and medicine failed him. and so one day
He laid her away in the church-yard,
So haggard and crushed and wan;
And reared her costly tombstone
With all her virtues on;
And ought to have added, "A victim to arguments
pro and con-
For many year Uncle Sammy
Fired away at his logical forte
Discussion was his occupation,
And alteration his sport:
He argued himself out of churches, he argued him
self into court.
But alas for his peace and quiet
One day, when he went it blind
And followed his singular fancy
And sighted his logical mind,
And married pondcrous widow who want of the
arguing kind
Her sentiments all were settled,
Her habits were planted and grown,
Her heart was starved little creature
That followed will Of her own;
And she raised high hand with Sammy, and pro-
ceeded to play it alone.
Then Sammy he charged down upon her
WIN allof his strength and his wit,
And many dextrous encounter,
And many fair shoulder-hit;
But vain were his blows and his blowing: he never
could bulge her bit.
He laid down his premises round her,
He scraped at her with his saws;
He rained great facts upon her,
And read her the marriage laws;
But the harder he tried to convince her the harder
and harder she was.
She brought home all her preachers.
As many ever she could
With sentiments terribly settled,
And appetites horribly good
Nh0 sat with him long at his fable and pyn1ainpd
TO him where he stood
And Sammy was not long in learning
To follow the swing of her gown,
And came to he faithful in watching
Ihe phase OF her smile and her frown;
And she, with the heel of assertion, soon tramped
all his arguments down.
And so, with his life-aspirations
Thus suddenly brought to check
And so, with the foot of his victor
- Increasingly pressing his neck
lie wrote on his face, I'm q vctim,i and drifted-
logical wreck.
And farmers, whom he had argued
10 corners tight and fast,
Would wink at each other and chuckle,
And grin at him as he passed,
As to say, MY ambitious old fellow your whpple-
trees Strengthened at last
Old Uncle Sammy one morning
Lay down on his cOmfortless bed,
And Death and he had discussion,
And Death came out ahead;
And The fact that SHE failed to start him was only
because he dead.
The neighbors laid out their old neighbor,
With homely but tenderest art;
And some of the Oldest ones faltered
And tearfully stood apart;
For the crusty old man had often unguardedly
shown them his heart.
But on his face an expression
OF quizzical study lay,
As if he were sounding the angel
Who travelled with him that day,
And laying the pipes doYpslyly for an argument
on the way.
And one new-fashioned old lady
Felt called upon TO suggest
That the angel might take Uncle Sammy,
And give him good nights rest,
And then introduce him to Solomon, and tell him
to do his best.
Farm Ballads By WIZ Carleton.