Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-07-31
POLICE PICKINGS.

How beautiful is old age, When 1t neither
swears nor drinks! But Mr.. Brown, who
lives out in the country few miles, does
the latter, Notwithstanding the fact that his
erst coal black locks are thickly sprinkled
with silver threads. As bis face was not a
familiar one 10 the court, he was let off
with fine Of only g so.
Ellen Gatljn is not one of those maidens
who possess q sylph-like form and an ethe-
real presence. On the contrary, she is Vo-
luptuous and substantial, and would be a
safe object to cling to during sudden and
unlocked for hurricane, measuring, as she
does, about FIVE feet one way by three and
half the other. Notwithstanding her eX-
cessive solidity, Ellen is not without her
attractions; indeed, she is so very Ease ina
ting that she has entirely weaned away
from his lawful wife, the affections of
one Charles Henderson, which fact
was soon made manifest to the wife afore-
said. From that time on, the home of the
Hendersons, has not been an abode of bli
not to any serious extent, at least. Tues
day evening Mrs. Henderson held a coun-
ell of war, and determined to lave her hub
by arrested, of which fact she very foolish
ly notified him, whereupon he endeaVored
to dissuade her from carrying cut her reso-
luton, by whipping her with a leather
strap; not rudely, or barshly, however, but
in kind and affectioaate manner. Shortly
afrer this demonstration upon the part of
Mr.. Henderson, Mrs. Henderson met the
charming Ellen in the street, when the lat
ter skilltully SHE'D boulder at her head,
which Mrs. Henderson was fortunate
enought to dodge. Henderson and his charm
er were fined s. each.
Mr.. Sampson stated that it was all on
account of his mother-in-laW. Leave him
self and his wife alone together, and they
live like q couple of turtle doves, but
when his mother-in-law sees fit to honor
them, there's trouble. Tuesday last, Mrs.
Sampson happened to remark to her hus-
band, incidently, that "she'd give a thou
sand dollars to get rid of him." which in
Gocent remark Sampson took to heart at
once; indeed, he was so grieved at this in
dicatiou of a seeming lack of affection for
him on the part of his wife, that he threw
a market basket at her, with a few sharp
words, whereupon his wife had him arrest.
ed. This was the head and front of his
offending, according to the state
ment of Sampson himself, who
also added, 81 haint never
never called her outer no lady's name, in
no shape nor FORM" ct is one of Samp-
sons characteristics, to be more emphatic
than erammatical.) His wife being brought
forward as q witness, Mr.. Sampson turned
to her appealingly:
"Hain't been kind, affectionate hus.
band to you?"
"Yes," replied the wife.
"Hain't took yer clothes and washed
'em for you?'
eyes"
"Hain't washed the dishes for you, and
always took care Of you?"
eyes"
To the court-"If you'll only turn me
loose this time, I'll go down on my hsnds
and knees, and hold up one hand and swear
I'll never speak another harsh word to her
agin as long as live"
He was ''turned loose"
"Well, Club" said the Court pleasantly,
when the name of Mr.. Colburn was called,
"here you are again. l hardly expected to
see you this morning, as you told me day
before yesterday that if I'd let you out Of
the workhouse you'd go to work on the rail-
road. This is enough to discourage Job
himself, if he occupied my place. You
grumble about being put in the workhouse,
and then when turn you out, you manage
to get right back again. think the best
thing can do with you is to send YOU
down for good. We will lodge you comfor-
tably there, give you plenty to eat, and a
stimulant now and then, whenever -"
Clpb-T don't want no stimulant. If
you'll let me 60 this time, I'll co out to
GoOdlettsville. | was ashamed to come
before you this time, but -"
The court Cnterrupting)-"And Pm
ashamed to have you come before me. PHI
send an officer down to the depot with
you, and have him put you aboard the
train with Instructions to the conductor to
put you off at Goodlettsville, and to never
bring you back 10 Nashville again."