The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-04-24
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

- An absent minded man in Tennessee used
a roll of greenbacks as stopper to his dcmi-
john.
An Iowa newspaper proprietor has trained
a large bull-tcrrier for the position of fighting
editor.
- Ladies can, in the present state of civili-
zation, either buy their switches to match their
hair, or dye their hair to match their switches
= A Sunday School scholar, only eight
years old, was asked: "Why did they take
Stephen outside the city to stone him to
death ?" The little fellow thought moment,
and replied: $50 they could get a better crack
at him."
Good clothes and talent do not go togcth-
cr If you have good clothes you must be con-
tent. Our clothes are not very good, although
we did not notice the fact when VIC commenced
this item.
A Connecticut woman was recently bercft
of the faculty of speech by being hit with a
SNOWFALL, and many married men in that part
of the country have been heard to remark that,
after ALL winter has advantages not afforded BY
any other season.
"A morning paper is Of the opinion that
nothing was too low for the Forty second Con-
gress. This is a mistake, for their salary WAS
too low; so the members raised it, by lowering
themselves.
-Asly old deacon, wishing to give his pastor
a hint to put more life in his sermons, said to
him one day, II must get seat near the pull
pit, for by the time your words reach my ears,
the people in front of me have so taken the
pith out of them that they are as dry as dish
water"
- Paris, Kentucky, the county seat of Bour-
bon, and the place where the best whiskey in
the world is made, has so many total abstinence
people that it is proposed to prohibit the sale
of liquor within its limits. This is not the only
case where the prophet has lacked reward in
his own country.
- There were sold in the United States last
year S5l, ,73S sewing machines. Twenty-one
different styles of manufacture were represent
ed. The most important fact, in this connec-
ton, is that they cost three times what they
should have done, and more than twice what
the same machines made in this country can
be bought for in England.
= 1t has long been conceded that the proper
study of mankind is man. and in these days
of equal rights, it is not surprising that a
woman has written a book about "What wo-
men should know: a woman's book about
women )" but there is consolation in the
thought that while oceans roll and planets
swim, while rivers flow and frogs croak, the
proper study of woman will still be man,
despite the philosophers And yet man is rot
happy.
\ recent medical writer says: "Slccp
whenever you can in the cars--anywhcrc
when you get a chance-thc great want of the
aye is sleep" This is not always safe advice
to follow, as Lawrence gentleman knows to
his sorrow lie was recently afflicted with q
bad cold, and, to cure himself of it, rcsortcd
to the method of bathing his feet in warm
water and drinking tumblcrful of gin and
molasscs prescribed by an agcI and respected
friend of the family. Having got everything
in order for carrying out the prescription, he
sat down by the stove, his pedal cXtrcmities
immersed in hot water, Il tumbler of smoking
gin and molasses by his side In this condition
a sense of enjoyment stole over him as he
-;ppo,l the exhilarating liquid, and he fell
asleep His wife had gone to bed, and, on
awakening about 8 o'clock i'll the morning,
wondered why she was alone. Going down
stairs, she was Mortified to find her licgc lord
asleep in his chair, the fire out, his feet still
immersed in the water, over which Il cake of
ice was formed, and an empty tumbler on the
Chair beside hin. Lis Geld isn't i bit better.