The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-11-04

MORE COMPLETE WEATHER REPORTS M.
Ouod in Detroit Free Press. There is a
certain stiffness and formality about Old
Probabilities reports which common pco:
gle would like to see changed for something
more frank and open-hearted. The whole
thing could be made more cheerful reading
and more interesting to the young if some
| newspaper man had the weather to take care
Of For instance, where the report now
reads s'For the Northwest, rising barome.
ter, with cold, northerly Winds" right
minded journalist would say: "Folks in
Wisconsin and Minnesota will get up and
git tomorrow; it will be cold enough to
| freeze the hair on hitching- post"
"Just year ago tomorrow the Dublin
Boy and the San Francisco Babe had set
to near New Orleans, and Dublin won. It
is also the second anniversary OF the Water
town Bank robbery, where the thieves car
ried of 100000, and were allowed to keep
$4,000 for their honesty in restoring the
balance. Honesty is the best policy. Look
out for cold winds. An honest mans the
noblest work Of God, and a snow-storm is
probable" ..-.....
The present weather man says: "For
Saturday in the Gulf States, south and east
winds, rising temperature, threatening
weather and occasional rains" Now that
should read: "Don't count on going to
circuses and pic-nics on Saturday the UNI
brella market will be firm and buoyant, and
the mud knee deep. Better stay at home
and sew carpet rags and get the buttons on
your husbands Sunday shirt. Occasional
rains may be expected tomorrow, and the
New York detectives will probably catch
another Nathan murderer" .,,s ~,
Where the weather man says: "For the
South Atlantic States, increasing southeast
erly winds, with cloudy weather, clearing
away by Saturday night" it should read
" Splendid weather for going after persim-
mons down South; don't draw your shot
gun toward you blythe mHszle; weather
little cloudy but dads rich, and so, who
cares; good day for setting out grave-stones.
Use Fargo's LIVER Pills for sick headache !;
no respectable family should be without It.
A wear ago, or thereabout, Senator Pomeroy
gave Senator York $4,000, and never jump
On the front platform of q street-car. Wea-
ther will clear up by Saturday night, and 1t
will be good night for going to the lodge.
RI vonr wife doesn't believe you went there,
tell her 10 smelt of your BREATH"
Then " here Probabilities says, For the
Middle and Eastern States southwest winds,
with partly cloudy weather." it ought to
read, "Not q good day for taking photo
graphs east of Michigan. Some clouds loaf.
ing around, and good weather for stealing
overcoats. About time to get boots for your
boys; leave the pegs In, and the boys will
prefer to so barefoot for awhile yet. No
thing like economy, and don't wear white
pants when you 60 huckleberrying. Good
day for New England sewing-women to
make shirts ut fifty cents per dozen. South
west winds to be expected; don't fly your
kites too high" s'9~ ,Sst@ - 5...','1
! About this time last year New York
county treasurer acknowledged himself a
defauter to the amount, OF 900, but the
tears of bis aged father effected acompro-
mise for $4,000, and the treasurer COM
menced building a fine house: Don't lend
money to strangers, and do unto others as
you get chance. May rain tomorrow:
night, and spelling. schools and candy-pul's
are only month distant. Be kind to your
sister, and look out for sharp FROST"