Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-07
Clipped Briedets.

dt ufc - CltCh Ill tuC IuOTUluI.
Military Intelligence-An army does
not always fly when it extends its wings.
If topper and quart of whisaey were
left together. which would be drunk first.
"Thus far but no farther was the inscrip
tion suggested by wag Tor founding
hospital
An Alton, Qll.) woman recently threw
a brick at dog and hit her husband,
who stood fifty feet behind her
We once knew boy who said be liked
a good rainy day-too rainy to go to
school, and just rainy enough to go fish.
ing"
| Persons who are liable to be sea sick
are recommended on the eve of sea
voyage, to take mucilage with their food,
to keep it down.
Daniel Drew carried muske: during
the war of 1912; and it is said that at
that early period he understood the busi-
ness Of unloading.
| They tar the lamp posts and ratings in
Montgomery, Ala in order to get rid
of the loafers. believing tina. a tarry loaf
er will tarry no more.
| A Danbury man woke in the middle of
the night to comment upon the extraor.
dinary fact that the heaviest end of
match is the light end.
| The two women who are to occupy
seats in the next Wyoming legislature
are already practiclng throwing lnkstands
and dodgins law books.
A pr;yato ~ tho n r,,,,y roooot1,, azr. .
letter to his sweetheart, closing with:
May heaven cherish and keep you from
yours truly John Smith"
Major Pauline Cushman has flogged a
California young man for traducing her
character. 1t won't do to scou. the
Scout of the Cumberland
A certain editor. in speaking of the
miseries of Ireland, says, "Ireland's cup
of misery hes been for ages overfiowing
and seems to be sst get fuR
An exhorter recommended the Chris
tan religion to the ungodly because he
had been member fifteen years and it
hadn't cost him but 1S}4 cents"
A notice in the cars on railroad in
Pennsylvania informs the public that
"no gentleman will occupy more than
one seat at time unless he be twins"
The Memphis appeal appeals as fol
lows: 'Will not our wealthy people
who are at a safe distance, send US aid.
Only few Of them have done anything
yet"
1t is pleasant to remember that not an
hour passes in the increasing march Of
time, but that there is half dressed man
somewhere on the earth calling for "A
shirt.
Colonel Blood recently telegraphed to
Portland to engage hall for Victoria
Wondhull's lecture. The Mayor prompt.
" sent back word, 1--WE don't want that
kind"
The Anderson Qnd) Herald says Of a
circuit Judge; "Old Pierce knows 1ust
about as much about law az mule does
about Observation-Disclosures in favor Of
the mule
A sharp boy in Cincinnati was sent af-
ter kerosene, but he spent the money.
filled the can with water, and his father
went over and pounded the grocer for
swindling him.
A Philadelphia paper suggests "a meet
ing Of the editors of the country, north
and south, for the purpose of cultivating
fraternal relations in advance of the cen.
tcnnial commemoration"
A sad accident occurred in Pennsyl-
vania the other day. 4 young lady
broke her arm while trying to turn
somersault Her physician expresses the
hope that she is improving.
| The season is fast approaching when
the husband. without any disiplinc in
his family, must arise betimes and with
chattering teeth, and fingers all benumed
| proceed to light the kitchen fire.
Sawdust as substitute for stockings
is recommended by writer in the Ones
dd Circular, who says that tablespoon.
full Of the substance placed in each boot
will keep the feet both warm and dry.
The panic has so far abated as to per.
nit an Essex street man to return to ten
cent cigars, and he hopes, in another
month, if the brightness continues to in.
crease to get his boys boots half soled.
An unfortunate in indianapolis who
lost several toes by car wheel, was con.
soled by an 1rishman near by with.
"whist, there, you're making more noise
than mony q man I've seen with his head
off,
The women Of San Francisco say their
prayers more regularly and assiduously
during the months Of September and Oc.
tober than oil the rest Of the year put to.
gether. This is the earthquake season in
California.
A Texas paper says that the endeavors
Of Democratic politicians to induce color.
cd men to vote for them, reminded it Of
the efforts Of y red headed woodpecker
trying to extract worms from a copper
lightning rod.
"John," said stingy old hunk to his
hired man, as he was taking dinner, "do
you know how many pancakes you have
eaten ~ mo" "Wen you've eaten
fourteen" "Well." said John, "yon
count and I'll eatn
Ibid you hit him plump in the cen.
ter ?" asked dying Omaha man of his
son who had just come in from desper.
ate street fight. "Yes," was the reply.
Then die happy" and calm grin OF
pleasure froze upon his face.
A woman in East Jeffrey. N. H., hal
had an acurate picture of a juniper tire,
printed upon her leg by fash Of light
ming. And the editor who chronicled thu
event has had lively time explaining tt
his wife how he got the item.
A woman with nothing to wear snt
wearing il lavishly, is roaming abou
the woods in Louisiana, and the peopl
OF that region are discussing the question
whether she. is crazy or merely going te
q conventional evening party.
| Mr.. Scoville, of Fort Wayne, wants a
divorce from his wife on the ground thai
she is training for running match
There never was time when the poor
women were SO nearly deprived of every
thing that makes this world happy az
just now.
A negro in Boston complained at q DO.
lice station that brother colorcd man
had broken chair all to splinters over
his head. On being told that there were
no marks on his Uranium, he said "No!
e didn't make no marks, butte smashed
de char all ter pieces, and do char be-
longed ter me-"
1t seems Prince Kassa, successor of
King Theodore, Of Abyssinia, has been
making bad use of his English education.
He has justified the great things expected