American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-04-19
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| sing, tncy Tie a dozen DrlckS on MS Dack
and let him walk up and down half day.
Il HATE to hear people talking behind
ones back as the robber said when the
) constable was chasing him and crying,
: "Stop thief
WHY is "A henpecked husband like an
opera hat? Because he is very big when
he is out, but Immediately shuts up when
he gets home.
OUR lady readers may be interested in
learning that the large number of deaths
from smallpox has materially increased
the supply of false hair.
VERMONT forgets all the hardships of
the past winter in jubilation over its ma
pie sugar season, and cheerfully asks,
What's the odds so long as it's sappy?
do YOU like Browning9" asked a read
ing man of a young lady whom he had
taken down to dinner. The fair creature
by his side (who was no book-worm) an
swered, Yes. That is, 1 like cracking"
A CoRRY Pa.) paper, speaking of the
present depression of that town, says it is
caused by lack of unanimity, lack of So
ciability, lack of home pride, distrust of
one another, and a great desire for Drag
CART display.
A PARTISAN grnmaker has the follow
ing notice outside his window: ''To those
Disappointed in Love. A Great Choice
| of Patent Revolvcrs. N. BIN the case
is all the apparatus necessary for extract
ing the ball and dressing the wound"
A WORTHY farmer in Georgia. who was
| carried home litter the other day,
solemnly asserts that nothing but TWEEN
ty-ton anchor can hold Il sorrel mule down
to the earth after she has stepped into a
yellow-jacket's nest.
| O, THE snore, the beautiful snOre filling
her chamber from ceiling to floor! Over
the coverlet, under the sheet, from her
dimpled chin to her pretty feet! Now
rising aloft like a bee in June; now sunk
to the wall of a cracked bassoon, Now,
| flute-like, subsiding, then rising again, is
the beautiful snore of Elizabeth Jane
| A TrrUsv1LLE father, who sold his oil
| before hard times struck. the region, and
who has a euartette of beautiful daugh-
| tiers, wore out the toes of four pairs of
boots last winter, helping the young men
down the icy steps of his residence who
| called to chat with the girls --r
A HARTFORD topper appealed to a mer-
| chant of that city for the whereWithAl to
| buy a drink. The merchant, being tenn
| perance man, could not comply with his
| request; but the fellows imploring manner
and condition touched him. We'll" said
| the persistent fellow, IF you can't give it
to me, couldn't you lend that gentleman
ten cents (pOinting to the clerk, and he
could give it to me-" 1t is needless to say
| that the chap got his ten cents.
NICKNAMEs.-A man used to live down
in Southern Illinois by the name of
Xerxes or Xeres. His ncighbors used to
call him Y for short, and sometimes Ten,
because Y is the Roman numeral for ten.
When at length, through accident, the man
lost an eye, the wags of the place dubbed
him Eleven, being X one l. Colonel 1nger-
SOIL of this city, is responsible for the
story, and it is good enough to be true,
and he says it is true.-Peorfa Transcript
RESULTS OF GREE THOUGHT."-
A doubling doubter dobuted long,
Blu. soon he doubted of his doubt.
And then host of doubts broke out;
Could he these doubts his own doubts call:
Had he felt any doubts at all?
Was his first doubt a doubt or not?
Were all the rest true doubts or whate
So midst these doubtful ins and outs,
These doubts and doubts about his doubts,
Doubt upon doubt his doubts did shake,
Fresh doubts did doubtful answers make,
Till this all he could find out,
That he undoubtedly did doubt
A PERSON signing himself Charles
Weightman, the MAN Fish" proposes in
New York paper to attempt the feat of
swimming from the Narrows to Long
Branch, a distance of 26 miles, next
summer. He processes himself confident
of accomplishing the feat. He will do
more than any swimmer ever did before if
he does. A professional swimmer, named
JOHNSON, atlcInpleO 10 swirl dCTOSS INC
British Channel from Dover to Calais,
distance of 81 miles, last summer, but he
gave out after accomplishing only one
third of the distance.
THAT is new article for identifying
the complexion" said Mrs. Bibb, holding
up a small bottle for Mrs. Darlington to
examine. She looked up from darning a
wooden sock for Ike, and took the bottle
in her hand. "Well, they may get up
a.,
complexion, but, depend upon it. the less
people have to do with bottles for it, the
better My neighbor, Mrs. Blotch, has
been using a bottle for good many years
for her complexion, and her nose looks
like ruption of Mount Vociferous, with
the burning lather running all over the
contagious territory
AT an auction sale of house in Taun-
ton, n. j., few days ago, says the Gazette,
the building was bid off to an unknown
man who seemed determined to purchase it
above all others. After the sale he called
Il young man to his side and told him that
he would give him the house. 1t WAS sup
posed to be a joke by the young man, who
was just married; but his young wife be-
ing summoned, the old gentleman explain
ed that he was the young brides uncle
from the West and that the house was his
present to her. OF course, after SO happy
a denouement, good time took place in
the house.
A NEW YORK fashion letter says: The
DAYS of Grecian bend and bustles are said
to be numbered. The girl-ofthe-period
dressswith its bunched-up skirts and frou-
frou founces is to give place to the statues
que and classical. Soft, flowing draperies
over unstarched petticoats will be the or
der of the day Hoop skirts have been
scorned by fashion for year or more, |
though they are SO comfortable that many |
ladies will still wear diminutive crinOline |
Scant skirts like those seen in the pictures |
of Josephine and Hortense are predicted |
for the next novelty. Already the Jose |
phine waist is prescribed by drcssmakers |
This is Il short, round corsage, worn with |
"A wide belt instead of being finished with |
points or a basque.
A PAPER in Johnstown, Penn, contains
a description of ball, from which we
learn that Miss Katie Smith was the esprit |
du corps of the evening" The writer hard
ly does Miss Smith justice. He might
very truly have added that her dancing
was characterized by an exquisite sine qua
non, and that she attacked the supper with
resistless sdure qui pem which made
every other lady in the room seem en- pas
s0nt- Few women in society, are sure,
have that air of de gustibus est disput
dnd,tm which is Miss Smiths chief charm
and that man must be wholly lost to a
sense of de f1'op who can observe the mise
en- scene of her manner without a glow of
admiration rarely felt in this day of nal de
fete ciyiliZatiOn-(Hy IHiOn