, 1873-11-13
CHEAP N0T0RlETY.

Tllpre arc men whoBo solo object In lffo hp-
ponrs to secure free notices. Ill the newspapers.
10 accomplish that thoy put themselves ind otll-
ora to: great inconyonionco, md. display MI
amount Of ingenuity which, properly directed,
would doviso d satisfactory. Hchcmo for tho ro-
sumption Of specie rnymcnte. What these poo
plo would do ,woro thero no newspapers, is d
great problom. Thoy would either commit sui
eide for lack ol, ,an occupation, or go into tho
'bil1-posting business. a notice Iii paper can
always bo purchased, but tito interest Of tho
gamo lies In doing it TOR nothing. = -
:, This propensity crops out strongly. in dotec-
tiycs, policemen. public officials, Aldermen. oc-
casional c1crgymon, doctors, and a fow lawyers,
whenever one Of thonl has arrested prinonor.
rrcachea o sermon, argued cnso. made what DO
thinks ia good spcoch or done anything at NIL
which he thinks deserving Of mention. After n
ttmo this craving for notices becomes disoaso.
If policeman las not come ncross any genuine
eyl-docra, lie fabricatoB q case. If doctor llas
not been chilled in to set tho log Of man thrown
from runaway team, lo inyontH leg. man, and
team; and aonds a description to this ofllco.:
Unn Of tho most curious instances of thia Bick
ness, for it othing o1sc ism person who las been
United States Commissioner for some time, lrd
Tor n still longer timo has, boon n candidate for
Office III Cllicago lie has gono into every COLI
vcntion Of Ills party TINT over hold hero, nnd
laa boon rtanding candidate for every vacans
oillcs. Doieatod ono year. he. las como up
smiling the next. Ho is beloved at one timo to
have received 25 votoB, but since 1926 wore nee
o8sary to nominato lin, ho waa not successful.
Provided only that ho is mentioned in tho pa-
pors, aud has Lis name kept before the public,
ho docs not caro- how It comes about. Tho other
day gentleman called him "dirty dog, and
lie at onco rushed on to o. reporter. In order to
get published. It waa dono, aud ho was happy
for day. Even had the epitdel been mora un-
| pleasant he would have waated it published.
As was stated he ia an United States Commits
| sioner. There arc number Of them in this
| city, but, by common conaont. tho bugluoaB has
bcen dolie by Mr.. Commissioner Hoync who is
| par excellence the Commissioner. This person
| has, however, hit upon the ingenious idea of
using this nominal oillee Of his as q meana Of
i as follows: When . man ,1s brought before
him for trial, ho invariably postpones the case
| for day or two, aud has notice Of tho mattor
| inserted in all tho papers. Thon whom tho caae
aud | thereby nocessitates efhe publication q
| another statement, In which his name is OF
course mentioned again; Thus each in
| disidual who oomeH before him has
ADVERTISING tho Conmisai ioner Yesterday
evening this gentleman cent il! his report, that
Sampson Dunning. tho retail liquor dealer, lsnd
had . furthor examination, aud in tho absence
OF WlLHGBac8s tho caSaH luu lttIl nEHltlRu liu5l-
poned Till tic 22d. It was also reported that
Nicholas Coonoe, charged with illegally detaining
letters, was discharged, he not having beon
| guilty Of any evil intent.
It is II curious fact thnt this Commissioner l,aa
never held q man for final triR1. Ho simply nscs
| those who are brought before him, aB means
| Of getting notices, and thsn ho lots
tho unhappy creatures run. This practice
| Is not commendabio, Binco otherwise tho cases
Of the accuBod would probably be disposed Of
iustanter, and they would not bo Obliged to find
is the unhappy Dnnning, What has he oyor done
| that luis caso should be continued from day to
day, mcroly to enable the Commissioner to 500
| his nnma in print? He is not "butchorod to
| mako Roman holiday" but no ia tho next
thing to it. As Cook County Coroner used to
koop corpse on Ice, aud plant it at night on
| tho lake ahoro. and then discover it
and hold another inquest oyer:it 80 this Com
missioner, when legitimate business ig dull and
keops him in hot water for two or tllroe months,
and makes Hoyen or eight notices, which is moro
than ono man ought to give.
/ This state OF facts Ia becoming generally
| known, and tile result Ia, that wlon men nro At
rested and know that they arc to be taken be-
fore IN United States CommiHbiouor, they I'M
mediately drop upon thoir knooa, and, with
many tears and BighH, beg that they may bo tal1-
on before Hoyne, and not before this othor
notices forthwith. -.
In view OF this, 1t would be advisable for all
| the papers to shut down on this individual, and
refuse 10 encourage him in his search for noto'
riety. Il is very possible that lie will die OF Q
broken heart, but then that will be Offset by the
profound gratitude Of Rcoros OF people whe
would otherwi iso be dancing attendance on his