The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-01-22
HOW 1 ESCAPED BEING KILLED IN A
DUEL.
BY MARK TWAIN.

story. 1t has Il moral at the end of 1t,
but ] claim nothing OH that, as it is
merely thrown in TO carry favor with
the religious element.
After bad reported a couple Of
years on the Virginia City (Nevada)
Enterprise they promoted me to be ed
itor-in- -chief-and | lasted just week,
by the watch. But | made an uncom-
monty live newspaper while did last,
and when ! retired ] had a duel OH
my hands, and three horse whippings
promised me. The latter made no
attempt to collect; however, this his
tory concerns onl v the former. 1t was
the old Flush times" Of the silver ex-
element, when the population was
wonderfully wild and mixed every
body went armed to the teeth, and all
Sights and insults had to be atoned
for with the best article of blood your
system could furnish. In the course
of my editing made trouble with
Mr. Lord, editor of the rival paper.
lie flew up about some little trihe or
other that said about him-I do not
remember what it was. | suppose l
called him theft, or body-snatcher,
or an idiot, or something like that. |
was obliged to make the paper reada
Bile, and | could not fail in my duty
to n whole community Of subscribers
merely to save the exaggerated sensi-
tiveness Of an individual. Mr.. Lord
was offended, and replied vigorously
in his PAPER. Vigorously means Il
great deal when it refers to person
al editorial in frontier newspaper
Duellng was all the fashion among
the upper Glasses in that country, and
very few gentlemen would have thrown
away an opportunity Of fighting one.
To kill person in Il duel caused a
man to be more looked up to than to
kill two men in the ordinary way.
Well, out thee, if you abused man,
and that man did not like 1t, you had
to call him out and kill him; other
wise you you'd be disgraced. So l
challenged Mr.. Lord, and | did hope
he would not accept; but | knew per-
fectly well that he did not want to
fight, and so | challenged him in the
most violent aud implacable manner
! Aud then ] sat and suffered and suf-
! ftred till tho answer came. All our
boys-the oditors-were in our Office,
"helping" in the dismal business, and
telling about duels, and discussing the
code with lot Of aged ruiiians who
had experience in such things, and
altogether there was loying interest
taken in the matter, which made me
unspeakably uncomfortable. The an
swer came-Mr. Lord declined. Our
boys were furious, and so was lou
/ the surface.
sent him another challenge, and
another and another; and the more
he did not want TO fight, the blood
thirstier | became. But at last the
mans tone changed. He appeared to
be waking up. 1t was becoming ap-
parent that he was going to fight me
after all ] ought to have known how
it would bc-he was man who never
could be depended upon. Our boys
we're exultant. | was not, the | tried
to be.
1t was now time to go out and prac-
tice 1t was the custom there to fight
duels with navy six.shooters at fifteen
paces-load and empty till the game
for the funeral was secured. We went
to a little ravins just outside of town,
and borrowed barn door for a target
borrowed it OF gentleman who
was absent-and we stood this barn
door up, and stood rail on end
against the middle Of it, to represent
Lord, and put squash on top Of the
rail to represent his head. He was a
very tall, lean creature, the poorest
sort of material for a duel-nothing
but line shot could "fetch" him, and
even then he might split your bullet.
EXaggeration aside, the rail WAS, Of
course, little too thin TO represent
his body accurately, but the squash
was all right, If there was any in
tellectual difierance between the
squash aud his head, it was in favor
of the squash.
Well, | practiced and practiced at
the barn door, and could not hit it ;
and l practiced at the rail, and could
not hit that; and l tried hard for the
squash and could not hit the squash.
l would have been entirely dishearten-
ed, but that occasionally | crippled
one of the boys, aud that encouraged
me to hope.
At last we began TO hear pistol
shots near by, in the next ravine. We
knew what that meant! The other
party were out practieing, too, Then
| was in the last degree distressed fol
of course those people would hear our
shots, and they would send spies over
the ridge, and the spies would find my
barn door without q wound or q