Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-07-03
Sunday Facetia..

A SUBSCRIPTION paper for repairs to q
church III Lawrence, Mass, contained
one entry, IA poor man, g." and di.
rectly beneath this another reading.
"a poorer one, 81"
A LADY returning from IN unprofit-
able visit to church, declared that
''when she saw tho shawls Of those
Smiths, and then Thought of the
things her own poor girls lad to wear.
if it wasn't for tho consolation Of re-.
ligion she did not know what she
should do"
A CLEVELAND copper inspector fell
asleep in church, from which he was
walked by the pastors reading, 'sSure-
ly there is a win for the silver and n
place for tho gold where thov find il. !"
Jumping to his feet he shook his book.
crying, ''I'il take five hundred shares. )
AN exchange tells us that ''thc ladies'
of Ironton, MOI, have united to dis
courage the practice of smoking in
church" They won't let us smoke in
railroad cars, nor in street cars, nor in
private parlors, nor in theatres, and
now they want to stop us from smok-
ing in church. Tho thing is becoming
really alarming.
They tell of a model ex-preachcr in
certain Vermont town. who recently
called ON an aged invalid woman and
proposed to her that he preach her flu
neral sermon, saying at the time, that in
all probability sho could not live long,
and that it would be proper for him to
preach the sermon, as he had her hus-
bands few years ago.
A NOTED horse jockey down cast was
awakened one night by violent thun-
der storm. Being somewhat timld, he
awoke his wife with: "Wife! wife do
you suppose the day of Judgment has
come 2" "Shut up, you fool " was
the affectionate reply. "How can the
dov OF Judgment come in the ,,igkt2 "
IT is said that an Indiana preacher
declared in recent sermon that .'no
woman who wears false hair is a fit
person to sit in the house of the Lord. u
But as tho women i'll his congregation
all wore jute instoad of false hair, they
thought that he was going for the wo-
men of the other church.
A VENERABLE colored woman's notions
of religion are strong, if not graceful !:
81 goes to church, missus," she says,
because you tells us to do it, and
does it cause I think it right. be.
lieve what the Bible does, indeed
does, and tries to do right, and I be.
lieves in religion; but when it comes
to jumpln' and hellerin' so much,
hain't got the strength to do it, indeed
lain't." She was commenting on O
revival in Dayton.
The lady of O mariner about to sail
on distant voyage sent note to the
clergyman of the parish, expressing
the following meaning: "a husband
going to sea, his wife desires the pray
ers of the congregation" Unfortunate.
~ the good matron was not skilled in
punctuation, nor had the minister quick
vision. He read the note as it was
written: "A husband going to see his
wife, desires the prayers Of the congre.
CATION"
JOHN N. is noted for the humorous
way he has Of putting things. Not
long since, being at the house of q
clergyman, he inquired if it was not
the evening for a prayer meeting; or
being answered in the affirmative, he
replied that he thought so, because he
saw the deacon passing by with pick
TX. "Why, what can he want of 9
pick-a1 in prayer meeting?" queried
his wife. "To see if he is on praying
ground !" was N. 8 rejOinder.