Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-12-26

The time is eight and the scene
S Fifth street auction store, not a
nile from the court house. The
place is ablaze with gas, and before
long counter piled high with all
Kinds of wearing apparel is mixed
and motley crowd Of all ages. Be-
hind the counter, on steps to elevate
him above his audience, is dark
haired, dark-eyed, wiry little man,
who is selling two shirts and two
pair of drawers for two dollars, and
the men and the big boys are look
ing at him spell-bound, with open
mouths as we'll as open ears, taking
in all that he says in wonderment
and awe. There never was heard
such burst of Ciceronian eloquence
before 70: two dollars including two
shirts and two pair of drawers. And
the crowd! Cruikshank would have
consented to sketch them and then
die. "Now then," said the wiry lit
tlo man, rattling his patter off the
reel without regard to punctuation,
"we'll try something else. Here
you are, six pair of all wool socks,
knitted on the Western Reserve by
the Shakers, sitting by the midnight
oil while you fellows are trying to
find dollar on the streets with a
pick-axc. Here they are for three
dollars, two and half, two, one
ninety, one eighty, seventy, sixty,
one and a half, and a quarter, here,
take 'em for dollar, and not cent
less will buy them. Why, they're
cheaper than a man can 60 out and
steal them. Six pairs for dollar
that's the only price that can and
will buy 'em. Do you want 'em(
Does anybody want 'em before
pass 'ems There you all stand with
with your hands ram jammed down
into your pockets feeling for a sec.
ond-hand chew of tobacco, and
afraid to open your mouths. DOM
none of you wear socks, say? Well
times are hard, and it isn't every
one that wants to buy all the socks
in mans store at one lick. III
tell you what I'll do; I'll divide ZEN
and sell you three pair for dollar
for seventy-five cents, for half a dol
lar, and no more, and no less; viii
you buy 'em?" Then be gushet
into song.
Good by. Princey, while you are away,
Write me a letter, love, send me your photograph
Good BY, Princey, when you are away,
Don't forget your dumpsey little darling.
"These socks are double-knitted
double toed, double heeled, ant
there they are, three pair for hal
q dollar. Why, they're cheape
than if you were to wash your fee
and 60 and look for your old ones
Nothing, gentlemen, is SO conduciv
to mans health as to wash hi
feet and then buy these socks. G.
home and put on pair Of thes
socks and your landlady won't knoy
you in the morning, which will b
to the advantage of some of you
and all this happiness to be pur
chased at three pairs for fifty cents
or give half q dollar and I'll call
square. For man to wash his fee
once in nine or eleven months or S,
will open the pores of his system
promote the circulation of his blood
and cause his children to rise IL
and call him blessed. The ros
may cease to bloom, the earth ma
cease to perform it's natural func
tions, and the United States ma
declare war against Spain in tn
next twenty-four hours, but I never
no, never will take less than hal
a dollar, fifty cents, for three pair
of those double-toed, double knitted
ail-wool shakers" The appeal wa
irresistible. "Sold again, wra
'em upv' cried the wiry little mar
"Who'Il have another lot? Sol
again" Finding the virtue of hi
eloqucnce rewarded with patronag,
we left, and the "all-wool shakers
were going off like hot buckwheat
on a frosty morning.