Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1873-08-09
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
The surfeiting we all undergo dur
ing the season of fruit brings into action
the family pill-box. It is little singu-
lar how much hunting has to be done to
find that box. The party who last
needed it's services doesn't remember
where he left it, and doesn't care to
think of it at all, while he whose turn
now occurs isn't actually tortured to
death by anxiety. We are Lot quite
sure but that there is faint hope down
somewhere in his breast that it may not
be found at sll. He feels Jumps form
ing in hissthroat as he peers among the
bottles and boxes which constitute the
pharmacy at his house, and when the
box finally appears, and he feels it in
his hand, there is O sensation at the pit
of his stomach as if somebody was try
ing to turn that organ over with an old
brass candlestick. Some people swallow
a dose of pills without qualm, and
afterwards go round looking a. proud
and overbearing as boy whose father
plays in band, but the most of rs are
more delicately constituted, and count
ing ont dose of pills while some one
else gets the water, and observe that he
doesn't see how any one can swallow the
awfnl things, is about as serious an
undertaking as can be found on record.
There is something too awfully solemn
about it to describe. And it is little
singular that while q man can swallow
whole whortlsberries, cherry pits, and
even buckshot, without any. uneasiness
at all, yet single pill will catch in his
throst, at particular ticklish spot, and
hang there four hours, and make faces
at his stomach. And man in fix like
that is not exactly the party we would
select to concoct notices for festival
Dan6,ry Necs.
|. Modest assurance-Lady of the
house: "Well, Millicent, how do you
like your new horse, Roland p" Mill
cent: 80 immensely! But he wants
firm hand, you know. He'd very soon
run away with me if / gave him q
chance; wouldn't he, Robert 2" Robert,
first cousin to Millicent "Run away
with you, if you gave him chance
By George, if 1 can Judge of Roland's
feelings by my own, I should just think
he would.
A philosophical Kentuckian who
had but one shirt, and was lying in bed
while the garment was drying on the
clothes-line in the yard, was startled by
an exclamation from his wife to the
effect that "The calf had eaten it.
"Well," said the Kentuckian, with
spirit worthy of better cause, swell
them who has must lose."
-Well-informed old lady to polite
Young tourist $50 you've come to Sc!
the beauties of the neighborhood, hGv'
you? Well, then, there amt none u
see, for they're Just all on 'em tn
plainest-faced, commonplaced wenche
abont these parts there is to be foun,
in all the wide world, and SO / tell ZEE.
A Boston high-school girl, JUS
graduated, said in her essay: "Let n
avoid the frivolities of life and pursu
the noblest ends only" The next da,,
she was moved to tears In All agonlzlnI
attempt to decide the proper shade o
| blue for her complexion.
New Jersey people don't say "liar
right ont, but remark: Sir, you re
mind me of my lamented brother, VIII
could pervert truth with the creates
ease"
What's the date of your hustle ?
was what an anxious papa asked hi
well-dressed daughter, after searching
for the latest copy of his paper.
The most widespread case of live
complaint OH record is in house o.
Pine street, where thirty boarders hav
it. But it is cheaper than other meat
An Illinois widow who tainted ava
at the grave of her husband and r.
mained in a fit all night was marie
four weeks after.
The widow of dead Chicago ma
has put a fve-ton monument over hi
to keep him down.
A gay spiritualist may be called
happy medium.