Litchfield enquirer., 1873-05-01
From Seribners Monthly MR. WiNTARoP'S REVENGE.

to "wellspring," our own and only ex- pertinent would require, for the full jus tifcation of the similitude, that said ''well- spring" be first raised to boiling g-point.
 This granted, am fain to admit that our Fanny has been 8 geyser incarnate from her first gurgle unto these presents.
 Indeed, her very advent threw our heretofore placid household into hot wa ter of seemingly perennial flow.
 One morning, as was going into town as usual to my office, Bertha asked me to telegraph to my old classmate, Dr. Aber- nethy, that she would like to see him that day.
 I happened to have been retained by Smyth at that time, in the famous suit oi Smyth vs. Smith, and nothing is needed to rebut my daughters allegations against me in the pages of this Magazine, further than the bare statement of the fact that, in spite of the mental pre-occupation in- cident to such a case, I not only dispatch ed the Doctors telegram, but of my own motion went to market, ordered 6 game dinner, and invited two or three friends to meet him.
 Treacherous as my memory has been proclaimed here upon these house-tops to be, yet there is one thing which I can never forget, and that is the utter swamp ing of this agreeable little reunion by the ill-advised irruption of our particula, "wellspring."
 But, "that way madness ies.''
 It was not to chronicle family cata- clysms that I have taken up the unfamil- jar pen of the magazinist, but simply to furnish true copy of recent epistle from your correspondent Fanny Winthrop, which will, I fatter myself and you, put a final period to her undutiful romancings.
 l regret the necessity of explaining how this letter came into my possession, since personal details are inevitably wearisome, and the long-suffering public has borne it's fill long ago of Winthropiana.
 But it happened on this wise. About a month since, received an urgent invita- tion from Mrs. Coates to join them, with my family. in brief European tour. made necessary by Judge Coates impaired state of health.
 State-rooms were already secured on board The City of -, to sail only four days from date of reading.
 In spite of the inconsiderate briefness of notice (the family conspiracy which &C., cused me of three weeks pocket-carriage of Mrs. Coates letter Is too ofensively preposterous for more than mere mention) and the pressure of business, yet what with my readiness in emergencies and promptness of action (seconded by my wife), we were on the wharf at the ap- pointed hour, bag and brggage. When I say "we," speak officially as the head of the family. Bertha, Fanny, little "Moses" and her mother (which treasure-trove of min had proved too invaluable to the fam fly to be left behind) were there, and sailed with MT. and Mrs. Coates, but l must con- fess that in person I was elsewhere.
 The truth is that Bertha lost her head that morning, thanks to Fanny's absurd tears and twitterings of anxiety lest I should miss the steamer in some account able way, and actually charged me with such pathetic solemnity not to fail her at the appointed time and place, that l my self lost something of my usual steadiness of nerve.
 Unluckily my wife had made me prom ise to repeat audibly the steamers name and hour of sailing, as ran about New York securing few letters of introduc- ton and doing various last things, and, as the natural consequence, 1 became somewhat confused.
 Still I have never distinctly understood how it came to pass that should find my self at o'clock that Saturday afternoon on board railway. train, with a long ticket whose last coupon bore the name of city identical with that of the steamer now, alas departed.
 My purpose was to follow my family by the next steamer, but absorbing profes- sional duties have prevented until now.
 On the eve of sailing, I submit to you the following letter written to Miss Tea zie; but that young lady being absent from town, her mother has kindly allowed me to open it, in compassion for my anx- iety in behalf of my family, deprived of the watch and ward of their natural pro- tector.
 The letter is post marked Chester, but is of course destitute of dates:
 4 True Copy.
 "DDARLY BELOVED TEAzIE As you probably know. that dear absurd papa of mine distinguished himself as usual on the occasion of our departure. from our native land, and was steaming frantically in precisely the opposite direction from his afflicted family when they went labor ing out to sea.
 Poor mamma was of course wretchedly frightened, but 'afflictions sore long time she bore from this same cause; so in con- sequence she keeps a store of consolation on hand, in the assurance that the blessed man has come out of his eclipse serene and shining; and then sea-sickness mer- cifully intervened to temper wifely anxie- ties. It ought to be forever set down to papa's credit, that he was actually thoughtful enough to meet us at Queens town with dispatch explaining his non- appearance, and we are waiting here for his (highly improbable) arrival by any steamer.
 I have SO much to tell you that don't know where to begin. Perhaps may as we'll let you have the midst of things at once, so, hold your breath and hsten:
 Although my unnatural parent did no. sail with us-Charley Coates did
 I needn't tell you, who were part of it and saw it all. how sweet and beautiful I had made life to- that young man for the three months before we left home!
 Demoniacal possession seems now to me the mast plausible explanation of my be- havior, as you were polite enough to sug- gest at the time; but will confess to you now that I was afraid of myself, and nov ed by the instinct of self-preservation, had sworn a sizable oath (for little woman) never to let him come within love-making distance of me again.
 Of course, should not have consented to travel with his family, had not Mrs. Coates said in her letter of invitation that Charley was to remain at home.
 But when that dutiful child came down to the wharf with his parents, and discov. cred fathers defection, he suddenly de. termined that Judge Coates was toe feeble for the Greathearting of such a swarm of frightened pilgrimesses, and actually sailed with us to my utter dis comfture.
 There was a glaring absurdity in the idea that fathers absence had in the least increased anybody's burden, since to those that know him best, his bodily pres ence is about the greatest responsibility one can we'll sustain. However, it was as martyr to piety in particular and phi lanthropy in general that Charley chose to embark, and to do him justice his faithfulness to that role made all precau tlonary defenses on my part superfuous don't mind confaosino ko vou hou