The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-03-19
Fresh Hunk0 from the Danbury News

Fresh Hunks from the DRnbuTy News
HEKE are Miss Anthony and others Of
her ilk skiltering about the country, and
eggs are 40 cents u dozen.
THE crop Of maple sugar this season
promises TO be largo enoug h TO please the
most misanthroplC worm that ever occu-
pied boy.
THERE is no time when woman 80
thoroughly commands the respect Of q
man as when she is about 10 throw a
stone at hen. Especially Is this the
the case II hp happens To stand behind
her, aud is lulne in one leg. .-..
" we search into the history OF those
men who have made failures ortheir lives,
we will find that in nine cases out OF ten,
where they were clerks In groceries, they
closed the spouts Of oil cans with pota-
toes. II there is anything that will make
a man turn his back on all that Is good
and pure, and make him proIane TO Q de.
gree that Is reyolting, 1t Is pouring kero'
senc In q dark room from can whose
spout has had a potato night.cap.
PUTTING hoop on tho family flour
barrel Is an operation that will hardly
bear an encore. The woman generally
attempts it before the man comes home TO
dinner. She sets the hoop up on the end
Of the slaves, takes deliberate aim with
the rolling pin, and then shutting both
eyes brings the pin down with all the
force OF one arm, while the other In.
BtinCtively shields her lace. Then she
makes 0 dive for tho camphor and un-
bleache1 muslin, and when tho man
comes home she Is sitting back OF the
stove, thinking Of ST. Stephen and the
other matyrs, while burnt dinner and
the camphor are struggling heroically for
the mastery. He says II sho had kept
her temper she wouldn't have got hurt
And he visits the barrel himself, and puts
tho hoop on carefully. and adjusts 1t SO
nicely TO the top Of every stave that only.
few smart knocks apparently are need
cd to bring ii down all right, then he
laughs to himself to think what fuss his
wife kicked up over q simple matter that
only needed q little patience to adjust it
sell, and then he gets the hammer, and
fetches the hoop sharp rap on one SIDE,
and the other side flies up and catches
him on the bridge Of the nose, filling his
soul with wrath and his eyes with tears,
and the next instant that barrel Is flying
across the room, accompanied by the ham.
mer, and another candidate for camphOr
and rag Is enrolled in the great army
that Is increasingly marching toward the
grave. t =.
AMAN in n town near Danbury, having |
heard that the aguc could be cured by |
crawling head first down stairs when the
chill Is coming on, tried 1t Friday. He
felt the dreadful approach Of the shake,
and, dropping on his hands and knees,
started down the front stairs. Just as he
started, two old ladies came up on the
stoop 10 consult his vile in regard to
700 neckties to the poor OF New
York, and 1t so happened; that as they
opened the door he lost his balance and
came down upon them like an avalanche
with spokes in 1t, aud before they could
even think Of saving themselves, the
enemy was among them, and the next in.
slant q horrible mixture Of humanity and
cloth went revolving across the sidewalk
into the street, to the unmlxCd astonish'
ment OF the neighbors and the uncon-
cesled disgust Of tho participants. But 1t
cured him. 49,