The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1873-08-29

pleAy. Tue glrduc helu MS ground on the scales.
He bowed gravely and said IL was true, when
last weighed, he counted two pounds short
Of hundred. but his mother, in the town
or Litchneld, weighed $50 pounds his grandmother
and he hoped before he was as old as the ee-
him, to rival Daniel Lambert Then, as il 1t were
at all apropos to his case, ne exclaimed ''Don't
This sentiment was cheered and the Dand played
cRITicIsM AND CONVERSATION.
1t was not all happiness and harmony among my
lat friends. heard a number OF grunts here and
there about the leanness OF the CLANS As he
who drives fat oxen should himself be lat, so he
who eats lean clans should himself be lean.
Everything goes by the laws Of CON
them fellows over al s6oaies',' every man
OF 'em lean az fence rail, and by the oil OF tur-
hoed in Norwak.n This was the case ana the
shade Of thought that passed over Charley's DIV
br0ws as he stood in the noontide sun might be
interpreted as wish passing through his soul that
Tor the nonce III least he was one OF the lean kline
over the way. When Charley was asked how he
waved so tat as to reach 375 pounds av0idupOse,
he answered that 1t was habit that grew upon
him by degrees, and he conldnt shuliie OF his NOR
The megatherium from New York on being
questioned as to how ne swallowed the bootback;
brushes and all, said his stomach felt empty and
that the meals OF modern times were inadequate
to his requirements. Joe Lincoln and Billy Dggs
two very funny Their
step played by the band, and the band
PLAYED MnStSng but jokes In place Of the
oecorous, air they would insist rafting up "Cap
tam Jinks" "Rory O'More' and the like, inviting
Diggs and Joe Lincoln would have nothing else,
ana SO they whisked with miraculous hgntness
great admin alton Of the ladies' But a perous time
came for both these festive boys. they colded
moment they were noundering in the dust OF by
gone ciamshells An elephant on ms back Is q dc,
but % gss IN
Lincoln on top or him, might move the pity OF the
gods. Billy. on being restored TO his Ieet and to
the fresh air. declared lie was not worth living Tor,
and that CLAIMS were the prmeval curse
Johnny Tompkins, an elephant from Orange
He was afraid OF being ynched. but when he re-
nected that it wound need wire cable and Call
IN his MIND and walked boldly IN ma and demanded
fifty cents worth OF clans; but he was too late.
use wes to cal e n AND
grsazy luboer," IAN overgrown squash q
and many things besides .hat .preyed upon
his feelings and spoiled his supper.
ment for conservatives and dyspeptics such an
utterly contemplate crowd. They were so thin
The women reminded him of paper patterns in a
dressmaker's window II he had to marry any OF
them he should should commit NM poygamy ana take dozen
bake was perfectly right'ul and, as am in posi-
ton to testify slightly exaggerated: All accounts
agree, however, In awarding the lean men the
superior appetites. They lett poor Shoales supper
less and mis- heart is sad IN consequence.
Mark this, however: all the really pretty girls OF
Norwalk who went ont as spectators, drlited to the
the lean men where the best dancers. Take heart,
OF all ye lean males OF humanity. The heavy |
weights had fewer smiles from lovely lips and
sparkling eyes,
DIosYNCRAsIEs OF THE LEAN AND THE FAT.
have already mentioned that at the Fat Mans |
that ever a musicians brain devised. All the
gaops qulcksteps, hornpipes and reels that the |,
And be
s1a men aos SO heay e
to move with becoming dignity. Not bit Off The
faster the tunes the better the fat men liked them.
nlmbleness. Puck himself could not have eX-
cedcd It, Had 1t been exhibited by the vokcses, |
or the Maytons, or the Kiraliys, there would nave
been no room for surprise; but the reader will |
agree with me that there is some cause for amaze
S. sn $50 ss wsSs
pedals were made of feathers and his paunch was |
balloon with n Of save tine
Of the John Bull element, scarcely
tune was vas, executed ;9.e but was ike
c0ossuses danced while the band piped unto them
the effect was that OF Terpschorean thunderDoit
the other hand, the band OF the lean men was en-
trey given up TO melodies OF a seaate and melan.
q tune that much reseTnbedi It, the least map
prOpriate symbolic as it that 100 pounds was the
to MAINTAIN. And the same remarkable contrasts
were found among the songs that were troiled The
despair breathing ditties. Here rosy-iaced. Fai.
stan, with complexion like leaf Redeemed by the
torch Of Autumn, beloved forth, ''My cheek is
pale aud wan, Mary" and there rOysterer
with the ply siaue OF Henry the Eighth might be
heard pleading to paintve refrain; 'I'm but the
shade OF what was since first saw tiny SMILE"
The thin men were equally uproari0us and contra
dctory In different way. One corpse-lke tndivd.
aa with melancholy every line ofhs features. and
0eeD-Reated mSautbrODV from
OF his mouth uttered, probably with much interior
satisfaction for none visible his counte-
nance), the depraved chorus-
For tonight we'll merry, merry be.
For tonight we'll merry, merry be,
For tonight we, we'll IN ms cry merry be,
been otherwise than sober during the whole course
OF his life. Certainly he did not look though ne
could survive being once drunk.
A POLITICAL LOOK AT CLAM EATING.
The clans were ready Tor consumption at
Gregory's Point at two O'Clock; at Grove House
wooden structures had been built, and inside were
arranged tables and benches the former lined with
everything necessary TO complete enjoyment OF
the repast. AS two o'clock approached, walters
with long towels wreathed diag0nay around them
rom the lett shoulder to the right side, like scaris
came bearing immense trays flied with dishes OF
tomatoes and beets. These, being placed on the
table at regular intervals, were allowed sweetly
to arrive at that ukewarm condition to which,
like the Church OF the Laodiceans, they were
neither hot nor cold. Then the clans were
removed from their covering Of seaweed and
the impatient people All how delicious
1t was to open the baked bivalye. thrusting
In the point OF the knife when they refused TO yield
to the fingers pressure, and discover the white,
pearly, palatable and Juicy morsel snug and sweet
withinl 1t was like opening succession OF jewell
boxes and discovering a set OF edible gems. The
shell once open. there lay the coy bonnie 6ouc1te
white bashl9l, retiring, curled up into itself, en-
ticing as kiss snatched on the sly, and demure
country girl awaiting her lover In gr0tt0. But
don't believe the fat men, no. nor the lean ones
either, stopped TO senttmentalize like this Not
thew You might have thought their precious exist
ence had been TO them one long fast, and that for
the first time their appcttes had been lib
Grated and allowed carte blanche. There Is
probably only one class OF men by whom
the fat men could be exceeded in this interesting
particular, and that is by their brethren, the lean
clans or not. Between the fat men and the lean