Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1873-10-04

VARIETIES.
A GOOD summer resort-IIomc.
AN imaginary quantity-A lady's age.
ATHoRoUGH washerwoman-Sal Soda.
A MIDSUMMER Nights Dream-Mos-
quitoes.
How TO keep out of hot water-Join
the Baptists.
The American Holy Land-The pctro-
leum district.
The best time for bread making is i'll
the hour of need.
If there is one thing loafer doesn't
deserve it is loaf.
SOME people are wise one day and
otherwise the next.
"MANY men, many minds says the
old proverb; but how many men one
meets without any mind at all |!
WHAT is the difference between
haneman and a gambler? One ropes
people in, and the other ropes people
out.
AN old maid says she knows by her
own experience that the saying "man
proposes" is n base lie-she wishes
twas the truth.
cit is very curious" said an old gen
tleman to his friend, "that a watch
should be kept perfectly dry when there
is a running spring inside
WHILE n compositor on the Montreal
Witness was setting up an advertise
ment for lost canary, the bird flew III
at the office window, (Which shows the
value of Advertising"
THE wind damp with coming wet,
When James and blue-eyed Lizzie met;
He held gingham DER his head,
And to the maiden thus lie said:
"Oh, lovely girl, my hearts atire
With loves unquenchable desire;
Saw dearest one, wilt thou be mine,
And join me in the grocery line?"
The maid in accent sweet, replied:
ssJim hold the umbrella more my side;
My bran new bonnet's getting wet
I'll marry you, you needn't fret"
THERE is livery stable keeper in AL
bany who won't let his horses to anybody
without exacting a promise that they
will drive slow. One day youth who
wanted to go to funeral applied to the
livery man for horse. "My friend,
you can have one if you'll agree to
drive slow" "Well, see here, I'm
going to funeral, and Tn bound to
keep up with the procession if it kills
the horse.
The lady who tapped her husband
gently with fan at a party the other
night, and said, Glove, it's growing
late, l think we had better go home, IS
the same who after getting home shook
the rolling pin under his nose and said,
"You internal old scoundrel, if you
ever look at that mean, nasty, Calico
faced, mackerel-eyed thing that you
looked at tonight, I'll bust your head
wide open"
TIE following sentence, written out
full, was lately pronounced by Justice
of the Peace in Guinnett county, Ga:
"lct the prisner Stan Up. yu, sir, has
bin Found Guilty, & tried NV the Offense
OF shutin at your Nabor. Yu shal then
he took from the bar NV this court by
the honoroble baleef of this court, and
carryed into the adiinen county NV rok-
Dale, & thar yu shall remain in Ever
lastin Punishment forever from the hon
orable county OF guinnett."
AN absent-minded smoker named
Yancy undertook to whisper something
of Importance in the ear OF Old MI.
Reynolds, Saturday, but in his absent
: mindedness neglected to remove his
: cigar, the fire end of which was driven
right into the old gentleman's ear. Nh.
Reynolds jumped straight up in the air
r about six feet, and on coming down
! split Yancy's nose by well directed
blow. Yancy picked himself up, and
started for home, declaring in a rage
that he'd be hanged before he'd tell old
Reynolds what he was going to.--Dan
bury Nea0s.
q ONR of the most curiOus features oi