Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-05-03


A GRAVE charge has been made against
young lady of Augusta, Ga. She is ac-
cused of stealing flowers from ceme-
terry. asssrgsaas-sss@ e-arass.asss.7--ass.. ..se'
The extensive condensed milk factories
in Switzerland use 10000 quarts of milk
daily, and four-fifths of tue product Is ex-
ported to England.
A HOUSE is never perfectly furnished
for enjoyment unless there is child in 1t
rising three years old, and a kitten rising
six weeks.-Southey.
New England farmers believe that the
immense abundance of maple sugar this
season will compensate for the severe
Winter they have suffered.
By carefully computed estimates it is
ascertained that England is now as fully
supplied with breadstuffs as she ever was
at this season of the year.
A FASHIONABLE New York gentleman
thinks that if ladies would only use their
pOwder-puffs more sparingly, men would
get through the season with only one
dress-coat.
A FASHIONABLE young lady of Phila-
delphia dropped one of her false eyebrows
in church pew, and badly frightened
young man next to her, who thought 1t
was his moustache.
AN aged negress in Delawareis said to
have turned white rncently.-[ Exchange
Yes, she married fellow named White,
and then turned him out of doors three
weeks after the event.
A CULTIVATED Snowman propounds the
following conundrum: Q. What trans
forma ion takes place in an infuriated ele-
phant when he charges upon crowd of
people? A. He becomes turner In
ivory.
WEALTH has now all the respect paid
to it which Is due only to virtue and
talent, but we can see what estimate God
places upon 1t, since He often best0ws 1t
upon the meanest and most unworthy OF
all his creatures.
DID our readers ever hear their young
lady acquaintances ask each other:
"What's your politics ?' and then giggle?
The question has hidden meaning. For
explanation apply to the first lady you
know who wears large hustle.
No MAN, when he violates the truth,
can tell of what sin he is guilty where
his falsehood will penetrate, and what
misery 1t will create. 1t may eliminate,
it may kill, it may embitter, it may impov-
erish. What evil it may prove you can
not tell.
In Chicago court of justice they tried,
the other day, to decide how much weight
constituted load for horse. The ques-
ton Is just as easy to decide-and no
easier-as how much man can lift, or
how much a man can do. 1t depends
upon the horse-slightly.
IF ever household affections and loves
are graceful things, they are graceful in
the poor. The ties that bind the wealthy
and the proud to home may be forged on
earth, but those which link the poor
man to his humble hearth are of the
true metal, and bear the stamp Of heaven.
A New ENGLAND farmer sent to an Or
phan asylum for boy that was 'smart,
actiye, brave, tractable, prompt, indus
triOis, clean, pious, intelligent, cookbook
ing. reserved, and modest" The super
intendent wrote back that unfortunately
they had only human boys in that institu-
ton.
EVERYBODY eats peanuts, and every
body knows that some are full and plump,
while others have little or nothing In
them; but everybody does not know that
before the retailer gets his peanuts they
are separated, the full from the empty,
| by means of fan, and sold at different
prices.
"GENTLEMEN of the jury" said Judge
in summing up, sin this case counsel on
both sides are impudent and incredible
the witnesses ON both sides are indecent
and Incredible; and the plaintiff and de-
fendant both stand such acknowledged
rogues, that it is to me utterly Indifferent
which way you give verdict"
The last dog story: A New Hampshire
canine being repeatedly baffied in the at
tempt to catch a woodchuck in long
drain, as it made It's exit at the other enc
as the dog followed through, brought {
neighboring dog and stationed him at tn,
other end of the drain. He then drov,
the woodchuck through, and he wa
caught.
We have finally, In paper, something
"personal" that is both fresh, authentic
and satisfactory. A lady writes to tn
able editor asking the original of tn
phrase, "The army swore terribly q
Flanders" and what occasioned the pro
family! Answer: Mr.. Flanders was
sutler, and his prices and general disrt
gard for all the rules of trade so incense