Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-02-20
BreVitieS and LeyitieS.

w Wouldn't your wife be hoppin
mad if she knew who wrote this2" begar
a sweet missive found in tho discarded
coat of her husband by an inquisitiy'
wife in Evansville. The hair Of that un
| happy husband, when swept up from the
parlor carpet went a long ways towards
stufing half a dozen dolls. He, never
leaves anything in his pocket now.
@- A man who "lived down by the
sea-" last Summer, had his fortune told
and among other things the gypsy told
him if he would iveupon oysters and
fish exclusively one month, he would
love his mother-in-law. he Immediate
ly left the oyster region and moved to
Canada. r""
g- A drunken fellow had wandered
into aSunday School and. took a seat
among the primer scholars, when the
teacher accosted him with, "Why, James,
do you know what condition you arein"'
"Yes, m'm,-in the gall of bit'ness, n
the bonds # 'niquity. Ask me some
hard queshns.'
g@- A man, enjoying the euphonious
name of Pigg, married lady named
Young. A few days since child was
born to them, and a rich uncle ,of'the
young one, who, like Gilpin, loves a
timely joke" promises to heavily endow
the boy if the parents would christen
him the material name. The fond but
thrifty parents consented, and the youth
will hereafter be known to his friends as
Young Pigg.
@- A lady whoseample charms weigh
upwards of 300 pounds, sued man in
Connecticut for breach Of promise. The
court, however, thought the case came
within the meaning OF the act for abating
excessive attachments, and so charged
the jury, who found for the defendant.
.Gg- The world had its iron age, its
golden age, and its age of bronze, but
the present age is the age of steal.
H Western women are grumbling
terribly because the managers Of agri
cultural fairs don't give at least years
notice when they offer prizes for the finest
babies. Our women win prizes for fine
babies whenever they compete for the
prize, but they nevergo whining round
for "year's notice." Not they.
@- People who believe the current
stories about intelligent dogs and their
sagaciops conduct will, doubtless, be glad
to hear that q lost dog in Norfolk, Va,
having seen his masters advertisement
OF his being lost, in one of the local prints,
promptly went home.
s.4r The epitaphs in Dakotah papers
are most pathetic. Jim Barrett had been
shoveling snow, from which he caught a
bad cold, which turned into fever. The
fever settled Jim's mundane affairs, and
the local paper says most atfectingly, in
his obituary, "He won't have to shovel
snow in the country he has gone to-"
@- In San Francisco court, the other
day, little dialogue ran thus: Counsel
to witness-"Y You say you were at his
house every night2" eyes, sir" "Were
you his partner?" :" No, sir" "Any
relative of his?" "No." "What were
you doing at his house every night9"
81 was sparkling his wife's sister,"
ns- The verdict of Michigan jury in
a case in which the de endant was charg-
ed with having disturbed religious meet
ings, was, "Not Guilty, but the Court is
recommended to advise the prisoner not
to go there any more"
mJ~ An English vicar was standing,
on Monday morning, at his gate, when
one of his parishioners arrived with a
basketfull of potatoes. whats this?"
said thevicar. "Please, sir" replied the
man, "its some of our best taturs-a
very rare kind, sir. My wife said you
should have some of them. Us she heard
you say in your sermon the common ia,
turs (commentatorsl didn't agree with
you."
G0- The season for sitting on circular
saws has begun. A man in Georgia sat
on one the other day,-and they buried
both of him in the same grave.