Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1873-04-18
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maidens remain so many years. Beauty
is nothing-as I know from experience
But Hannah Jane was glorious creature,
of medium hight, plump but not gross,
Grecan nose, a kissable mouth, taper fin
gers, hazel eyes, pure red and white COM
plexiop, the figure Of Venus, as graceful
in movement as n panther, ETC., etc. She
was girl for whom warm man would
forsake not only his father and mother, but
his grandfather and grandmother, and
even accept mothcr-in-law, provided she
was old and subject to climatic influences
Then, too, she was genuine, no whalebone
or paint about her. All the young men
admired her, while the young ladies hated
her with perfect hatred they were ready
to tear her TO pieces. They said she was
pretty, but she stopped, and 1t was a pity |
she squinted, and her hair was of fiery red, |
and her teeth artificial. In fact, they made |
her out a miracle of ugliness, whereas she
was a miracle Of loveliness.
They cJuldn't see what there was about |
her to infatuatc the young men. Yet she |
was their matrimonial salvation, for her |
beauty lighted up a flame of love in the |
hearts OF young men which nothing could |
extinguish save matrimony, and that does
it pretty effectually sometimes. AS they
couldn't all marry her, they must marry
somebody else, and eveL lothian Pendle-
ton Smith, who was so ugly that his looks
were improved by his being kicked in the
face by mule, when he had proposed and
been laughed at by Hannah Jane, went
and married gushing creature who had
been twenty seven for thirty years, who
had cross eyes, wore number eight
shoes, was thin where she should be thick,
and whose mouth was so large that she
couldn'ttalk without her teeth dropping out.
Hannah Jane was not only beautiful but
good will not say she was free from femi-
nine faults. No one could rush to the window
with greater alacrity than she, TO see the
latest new bonnet go by, abuse the style,
and then go and buy one just like it, She
would not have been a woman ifshe didn't
do that. She was accomplished in moth
| ing; but she had great possibilities. Her
| brothers got all the education; her beauty
| would secure her husband and that was
all she needed. She could read but indifler-
emily, she spelled kiss with one $, and her
| IcdulDS was " tuc newspapers, VI
which she preferred the New York Inde-
pendent TO all others, because it only took
five copies OF it to make sizeable hustle.
| Abel Merriwether was young law stu
dent, who, having nothing to support one,
undertook to provide for two. He wooed
and won Hannah Jane, and married her
on the strength of the maxim, that it costs
no more TO support two than one. Horrible
fallacy! You might as we'll say that two
pounds of beef cost no more than one, a
proposition which any respectable butcher
would reject with loathing and scorn.
There is nothing in love which is oppo ed
TO roast beef. Yet marriage is an estima-
BILE institution l would not have it die out
though that might save US from such pro-
ductons as George Francis Train and Syl-
vanus Cobb. Abel married Hannah Jane,
and their friends came out strong on we'd
ding gifts, sending no less than nineteen
cake baskets, and great variety of other
silver they had no use for, all of which
Hannah Jane traded off for Kitchen
stove and sewing-machne. At this time
Abel was in the hair-oi period of life, when
the state of his shirt front preyed upon his
mind. He cultivated The wavy masses of
his hair, and If he had taken to literature,
might have made another Theodore Tilton!
Hannah Jane had native intelligence, but
she read nothing and knew nothing. She
lived in perpetual state Of admiration OF
her husband. She believed he had great
future before him, and she was bent on
helping him to reach it. All her little pat
rimony went to stock their cottage, and
she shaved, that he might have leisure Ia
develop his great powers. He accepted the
sacrifice, lying on tho sofa Of an evening
and smoking his cigar, while she took in
sewing TO supply their needs. When al
J last he tired of her company and absented
himself evenings, she accepted his pretenst
of business with undoubting confidence
and when he sometimes came home lit
; tie unsteady, she grew fondly alarmed
and begged he would let business go be
, fore he completely exhausted himself. Thus
he continued to receive, and she 10 give
f he advancing, she standing still, becaus,
he did not try TO develop her, until he be
gan to feel her inferiority. AT last bust
ness came; Abel got murder case. Th,
mistress ola man who had forsaken her
went for him with romantic little pistol
aud Abel got her clear, on the plea of emo
tional insanity. He got little money
! though he took all she had-but he got rep
uta,ion, and he followed it up, went int
politics, got elected to the Legislature, ant
Q then to Congress. All this time, Hannal
a Jane was making constant sacrifices to hell
Q him along, cutting up her cloak, that h
i might make good appearance at the Con
( vention. Close confinement TO househol,
a duties made havoc with her beauty, bu
\. she was happy in tho thought of his ad
! vancement. He went on enlarging hi
= opportunities, while she went on rocking
o the cradle.
: A change came stealing over her, 70
n hard labor had stolen her beauty, and ma
d ny cares had given her an anxious look
@ Abel, meantime, kept advancing. At for
$ ty, he was judge, and had achieved ma
: tional reputation.
d lie was continually "putting himself il
l the hands of his friends" and had mad
o money nCongress. though railroads didn'
! then pay a third as much for votes as the
# do now. He was brilliant and ambitious
n and had developed much while Hanna
n Jane had neither improved nor developed
s The events of the day were not familiar I
r her. She didn't know Mrs. Woodruff
y and if she had known that an attempt ha
!. been made last Fall TO beat General GRAM
= she would have supposed it was in earnoi
o instead of being stupendous joke; of tn
S horse epidemic, George Francis Train, an
C other horrors, she knew not. And, afle
# all, am not certain If she was not the bette
S for 1t a deaf man escapes many disagree