Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-11
BREVITIES.

A SEWING MACHINE has been named
after Shakespeare.
By the side of regular drone, the
convicted criminal looms up as an angel.
A CALIFORNIA dog revealed a murder
| by bringing home a human arm.
THE Baltimore fire was caused by a
man throwing away a cigar stub.
NEVER court the favor of the rich by
| fiattering their vanity or their vices.
THERE is US difference between
yearnlng for money and earning it.
In nearly all sections of Vermont the
apple crop is almost an entire failure.
| A HEALTHY man who consents to live
| upon others doesn't deserve to live at ALL
y PROVIDENCE fireman has been con-
victed of stealing $500 shawl at recent
| fire.
A CANADIAN Justice of the Peace fined
"a man three dollars for saying thunder
| ation.'
IT GOES against the grain to call a
chiropodist a corn dealer and disciple OF
Bunyon.
| ECONOMY is one thing, parslmony
another And they are as different as
black and white.
| MATRIMoNIAI-It is not good nova
| DAYS for a man to offer his hand if there's
nothing in it.
THE noble elms of Boston Common are
being killed by the asphaltum pavement
on them all.
AN old colored woman shouted herself
| to death at Columbia, s. c., the other day,
at prayer-meeting.
| The light of friendship is like the
| light of phosphorus-seen plainest when
all around is dark.
A LADY in Hartford, Conn, gives no
tice that she will assume no debts of her
husbands contracting.
A FAMILY of three persons were recently
discovered in the suburbs of New York
living in a sugar hogshead.
ENGLISH advertisements are commend
ing 1.-The American stove" as a remedy
for the high price of coals'
BEDFORD COUNTY, Pa, has a cat that
has received regular course of training
IN the art OF squirrel-catching.
A LONG ISLAND gentleman cultivates an
eighty-seven acre flower bed, as we'll as
several blooming daughters.
THE superiority of some men is
merely local. They are great because
CHEERFULNEss makes the mind clear
er, gives tone to thought, and adds grace
and beauty to the countenance.
THE Louisville Ledger says it does not
look exactly the thing to see minister fan
ming himself while offering a prayer
WHEN we are alone, we have our
thoughts to watch; in our families our
tempels; and in society, our tongues.
A LITTLE girl at Bowling Green, Ky,
fell into forty-five foot we'll with fifteen
feet Of water in it, and was rescued unhurt
A SCHOOL for walters, designed to teach
them the " elegancies of their profession"
is shortly to be opened in New York
THE Graphic thinks a clergyman trav-
cling in the East may expectorate on the
pyramid, and still expectorate as gentle
man.
4 LYNN shoemaker CLAIMS to have
made two pairs of shoes in forty-eight
minutes. He received forty-fve cents a
pair,
CATTLE GROWING and beefmaking pay
well in Nebraska; and hog raising in con
nection with it is exceedingly remuner-
ative.
"FIREs-What Shall We do with
| Them" queries the Chicago Times at
the head of its leader, Put 'em ou-ut
stupid
The new fawn-colored fabrics are
somewhat expensive. But Dora Bella ex-
pected that. She knows that fawn is
little deer
JOSEPH DELIMAN, Of Camden, O., was
driving nail, when it rebounded, striking
him in he eye, and completely destroying
the sight.
y SENSIBLE Newfoundland dog at
Rochester, having the rabies, leaped off
cliff head foremost, and rendered himself
| harmless.
ANN JONES, of Providence, r. /, fell
to the floor dead on seeing the underta-
ler's hearse drive up for the burial eff her
Infant child.
The latest mode de Paris is to have ones
turs trimmed with lace, which is some
thing like having hot plum-puddng with
lce-cream sauce.
A WISCONSIN stroke of lightning ran
off tree and killed thirty-two out of
forty sheep. and did not leave a
mark on any of them.
IT has been discovered that the Colora-
do potatO-bug eats weeds, thistles, mead
oW grass, and, in short, anything vegeta-
bic that comes in his way.
THE belle who originated the Grass
hopper twist is stopping at Congress Hall,
Saratoga. RemOrse is painted on her
once cheerful countenance
THE Bloomington ull) Pantaqraph ac-
knowledges the corn. 1t was planted Nav
20, and in just two months reached a
height of Is feet inches.
JOHN POPE, of Eicksburg, rose at mid
night to throw his boots at bowling cat.
and he found smart fire just getting I'M
der way in his kitchen.
a SUFFERER who experiences nightly
fortunes desires to know how to prevent
nightmare. The answer is short and sim
ple-eat less for supper
A Troy man tried moral suasion TO
keep the boys from stealing his cherries,
but while he was tenderly talking to one
the other four stole his dog.
The owner Of half dozen dwelling
houses in Detroit begs from door to door
inspired by desire to pay his taxes and
furnish the parlor in satin rep
The trousseau of a young Austrian
bride was seized by the New York Custom
House officials, few days since, and con
fscated for non-payment of duty.
ONE of the Siamese twins was recently
summoned to serve on jury in North
Carolina. Chang would not go, and Eng
was fined $50 for non-attendance.