The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1873-10-23
CRIMPs AND MATRIMONY.
ny GBNCE vi.RSoa ,

I
| Married people have always suspected
that great mistake was made when ole
batchelorsan and old mai wercnot elected
to multiply and roplenish the earth snt
bring up the children; and it is evident
that the world suffers quite M acutely
because the women mostly involved il
matrimony are not unmarried ladies
Every little while there cometh fortl
one whose ian is in her hand, and who
thoroughly makes wives sea'sick will
her wise counsel, like apples OF gold ii
pictures Of pot.metal. Just now it is
Gail Hamilton, holding forth like al
oracle on "Crimps" in married life, ns
# her own head. bristling with slate
pencils and hedged about with hair-pins,
! had nestled for century on tho soothing
front of complacent night-shirt,
q Gail, answer What is the uso OF
making porcupines oi ourselves for
crimps when friz2es can he bought tol
eighty cents yard? Hast thou not
seen. and doat thou not know, that 4
| thing " beauty is n Joy 50 long os Vt If
| beautiful. aud that man seoth his lace
in smoked glass and straightway
! forgottoth what manner OF man lie Is
( Uo7, much moro then, 0 yc OF little
wit. shall he forget what manner OF
Ioyal, loving, brave, intelligent, sympa-
thetic" woman abe ia, who Comcth forth
IA Il suudowcr every day, in all The
glory whercwithal her fine arts have
emhclished her" when during the
! longer hours given 10 the CLOSE commit
Mon" of home and hearth, tho PRO
cesees by which she goes forth conquer
jpg and to conquer, convert her into
= miscellaneous muck-heap OF bread
and.nilk, wire, timber, tnr, slate, gIyc-
crime, egg, honey, asaIotida, ANA
small parcels Of every other conceivable
commodity that would bu considered
necessary to start anew city ona frontier.
Can any degree OF soItness IN tslr hand
| .'idenlize" OUT 0f Il mans head the
nDulticcd lists that have lain by his
side all night like n pair Of pud-
ding bags? or ever so elaborate smile
snuff out the impression OF face
smeared with things that are mys-
terious to him, and head more
formidable than nightmare with seven
teen horns crowned with n dismantled
umbarella? Nay, vorily; and ii the
woman who developes from such a drag
on into catastrophe that resembles a
"rag-bag overtaken by hurricane,
with faoe like hair dresser's dummy,
and head like a panic-seized old Dutch
broom is "fresh surprise to him every
| morning" she is no less fresh terror
every night
But this il wicked and pervcrse
generation, and thoro are men, whether
| in their senses on ont Of their senses ]
don't know, but apparently in the natl-
rsl state Of the sex, who suffer things
that are not to bring t0 naught thing
that are, setting manufactured charmf
before the ordinary natural grace OF the
female countenance, and preferring VIC
men who are fearfully and wonderfully
constructed to tho homemade article
however "tender, true, devoted, anC
wise" Wherefore, o Gail, there are
many among us pricked to tho heart
and they nll cry ont, What shall we dc
to be saved? For surely no woman
ever made herself beloved, or even rict
or famous by experimenting the wash
ing of pots and pulling down of cob
webs, or even manipulating children
for all these things do harden the pain
and wrinkle the visage; which things are
not seemly among us. Neither do the
Maries who sit at the feet Of the law
giyers and learn the cares OF state and
the deceitfulness Of politics reap augh'
but spectacles and forlorn wlsp o
back hair. But it is those who toll not
neither spin, but eclipse Solomon in his
glory who appropriate if not tho better
part, ut least the very 9oftest spot II
this world, with the largest half of ths
piece which passeth all understanding
commonly called mans heart.
Theu why this pleasing hope, &C.
this longing after utility? Let us la!
down the ballot and the broom, ane
aird on hood, and caul, and wimple, anC
with paint-pot in one hand ani cnrlins
topes in the other 60 forth to the taking
of the principalities and powers. Rather
do we not know, thatinstead OF "holdinG
onr own in spite of these little mechan,
isms," every mothers daughter OF NJ
would probably have to "hold" son'
other uoman's 'own" or rise superior
20 tile trash that men call love, and can
vas her own balloon? For after al
, these things do the women seak who's
feet l5v hold on he'll. bat whose hand
60 for onr husbands pockets, And 4