The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1873-02-01
Wit. Humor and Nis,!,,m.

IHE least or 1maSlnatiO n-Havlng
no dinner but reading a cookery book.
WHY is bed the ground work of
endless faIsehood You may lie and
relic on it.
A NEW word coined for the use of the
present generation is, "Apothecare
lessness.
'BoY, how did you manage to get
such big string of fish 2" Il hooked
them, sir"
ADAMS nativity has at last been dis
covered He was, according to OAR
win, germ man.
WHAT is that from which, If you take
the whole, some will remain The
word wholesome.
KANSAS has women working as bank
cashier. They will soon be employed
as tellers.
MARR1AGE-An altar on which a man
Laws his pocket-book, and woman her
love letters.
GEOGRAPHICAL Conundrum-H the
world Is round, how on earth can 1t
come to an end
GIVING seventeen hundred pounds of
that are dark"
81 TELL you, wife, / have got the
plan all in my head - "Ah, then it's
all in nutshell. p"
THE carpenter and the flower mel
chant. some enc has discovered, are
both florists
WHAT is that which the rich man
wants, the poor man has. the mlser
spends, and the spendthrift saves
Nothing.
A SPORTING friend says that he does
not understand why The weather cannot
hold up, seeing that the wind is driven
with such a strong rain.
Two fatigued travellers, having to
travel ten miles farther, comforted
themselves by the the calculation that
it was only five miles each.
A RUSTY old bachelor says that
Adams wife was called Eve because
when she appeared mans day of happi-
ness was drawing to a close.
Or woman with Red Hair who wrote
Poetry-U Unfortunate woman, how sad
is your lot Your ringlets are red, but
your poems are not.
AT recent spiritual circle, the spir
its being asked If sickness was known
in the other world, promptly raped in
reply, "cholera in-phantom.
A JEALOUS prohihitionist, on being
asked why he signed every pledge that
was presented to him, gave as a reason
that If he broke one he would have the
rest to fall back on.
81 SAY, don't you know who that is ?"
g No" "Why, what fool YOU are,
it's the celebrated Jones" What's
he celebrated about, then ~ "TNell,
I'm blest If | know
Mrs. PARTINeToN, noticing the death
of Mr.. Ryan, the well-known inventor,
Is extremely anxious to know if he is
the same person who invented kyan
pepper.
'sTHERE's one thing" said gentle
man at race, " that nobody can beat,
and that is time" Fudge !" ex-
claimed bystander, "every drummer
in the land beats time
A MIDLAND man, after gazing long
and attentiyely at the telegraph,
amused bystander with the remark
GIVE noticed that thing often, an
darned ii / shouldn't like to see i t
work"
drdT2dtis persona two gentlemen in
calling attire. First gentleman, brisk
ly: "Well, who is going to be bored
tonight 2 F." Second gentleman, as
briskly: 81 don't know. Where are
you going
O, THE snow, the beautiful Snow,
such hunky thing You know; blue
ing your nose and chilling your toes;
as whirling along the street it goes.
No silly praise, not any for Joe, for
that coolest of frauds, the beautiful
snow.
A JUDGE charged a jury as follows
" Gentlemen of the jury, You must find
that the defendant is guilty beyond
reasonable doubt. 4 reasonable doubt
is such doubt as will convince rea-
sOnable man that the defendant is not
guilty"
''YoU say" said Judge to wit
ness, THAT the plaintiff resorted to an
ingenious use of circumstantiai evil
dence:: state just exactly what you
mean by that"
"Well, said the witness, envy ex-
act meaning is that he lied. "
AMBITIOUS editor to his hopeful scion
Charles, are you good at couundrums ?'
" Yes, father, you know | cannot tell a
lie" "Right, Charles you will yet con-
quer new world. But, Charles, why are
the babies of a matinee audience like the
sub-heads in newspaper ~ Because
they are in email caps, father Brave
boy. you will yet stand on the burning
deck"
CHATS a very stupid brute of
yours, john" said Scotch minister to
his parishiorer, the peat dealer, who
drove his IL merchandise from door to
door in a small cart drawn by donkey.
q never see you but the creature is
braying." ''Ah, Sir said the peat
dealer. "ye ken the hearts warm when
friends meet"
JONES ard his wife were always quar-
reling about their comparative talent
Tor keeping fire. She insisted that
Just SO surely as lie attempted to ar
range the sticks with the tougs he put
the fire out. One night the church bell
sounded the alarm of fire, and Jones
sprang to his fire bucket, eager to rush
to the confiagratioD. MIR JONES'
cried his wife as he reached the door,
y Mr. Jones, take the tongs -
A YOUNG couple were sitting in
romantic Sp0t with birds and Howers