Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-06-19

maybe he stepped out into the city, nam,
and will be back directly"
sI'm afraid oh do enquire at the Office
and see if there is any intelligence about
him."
The servant retired, and in few moments
returned with information that there was none.
The wife was then alarmed in earnest. She
never had husband before, and like the man
who drew theelephant in the lottery, scarcely
knew what to do with the animal.
.1nilier anxiety she went to the room of her
bridesmaid and knocked at the door.
"Who's there? ?" came in accents unmistak-
ably masculine.
"Me, Sarah; but mercy, who are you ?"
There was a sudden stir and the sound OF
feet falling heavily on the carpet floor.
"Who ii the devil am in bed with, then p
she heard the man say, as the door swung
open and her husbands face peeped out.
."Oh!: I'm distracted about you where
have you been?'
"Tve been here in bed; but deuce take me,
thought you were, too
ooh! James, it wasn't me-"
"Who is it, then?'
"Why, it is Sarah
"The devil"
"Oh! no, James, it was Sarah. Didn't you
know it, James {"
"Blast me if 1 did I! I found her asleep,
and thinking this was your room, I crept into
bed and went to Sleep" replied James, evil
IDENTIFY impressed with the idea that he had a
difficult case to argue.
us she asleep yet, james,"
"Why, don't you hear her snore ?"
But Just then Sarah walked up, and seeing
a man in her room, set up screams which filled
the hall with people.
And now the bridegroom found himself in
delicate position. In the hurry of explain
ing the matter to his wife he had neglected to
put on his pants and now in his eager search
for them he was dancing around the room like
one possessed; now and then imploring Sarah
to hush
"Im going, don't you see"
But Sarah was seeing too much, and she
wouldn't hush; and the wife in the hall
hemmed in by the eager crowd, had tried to
explain, but failing in this, had leaned her
head against the wall and was enjoying q
hearty cry
At last, however, the pants were found and
put on, and the husband and wife escaped to
their chamber, while Miss Sarah double locked
her door against all further intrusion.
The next morning explanations were gone
into, but there is no denying that both the
ladies were the least bit incredulous, and it is
said perceptible coldness has grown up be-
tween them, whilst the unintentional offend
ing bridegroom walks about good deal, his
head down, and evidently indulging in un-
pleasant meditations. Post.
WHY AUNT sALLIE NEVER MARRIED.
"Now, Aunt Sallie, do please tell us why
you never got married. You remember you
said once that when you were girl you were
engaged to minister, and promised us you
would tell US about it some time. Now, aunt,
please tell US"
"Well, you see, when l was about seven
teen years old was living in Utica, in the
State of New York. Though say it myself
1 was quite good-looking girl then, and had
several beaux The one that took my fancy
was young minister, very promising young
man, and remarkably pious and steady. He
thoug a good deal of me, and kind of took
fancy to him, and things went on until
we were engaged. One evening he came to
me and put his arms around me, and kind OF
hugged me, when got excited, and somewhat
frustrated. Itwas long time ago, and l
don't know but what I might have hugged
back little 1 was like any other girl, and
pretty soon I pretended to be mad about it,
and pushed him away, though I wasn't mad
a bit You must know the house where l
lived was on one of the back streets Of the
town. There were glass doors in the parlor,
which opened over the street. These doors
were drawn to. stepped back a little from
him, and when he came up close pushed
him back again. pushed him harder than
| intended to, and don't you think, girls, the
poor fellow lost his balance, and fell through
one Of the doors into the street"
"Oh, Aunty! Was he killed?
"No; he fell head first; and as he was 60
ing caught him by the leg of his trousers
| held on for minute and tried to pull him
back, but his suspenders gave way, and the
poor young man fell clear out of his panta'
looms into a parcel of ladies and gentlemen
along the street"
"Oh! Aunty! Aunty Lordy!"
"There, that's right; squall and giggle as
much as you want to. Girls that can't hear
a little thing like that without tearing round
the room and he-he-ing in such a way don't
know enough to come in when it rains. A
nice time the man that marries one of you will
have, won't he? Catch me telling you any
thing again"
"But, Aunt Sallie, what became of him
Did you never see him again p
"No; the moment he touched the ground
he got up and left that place in terrible
hurry. l. tell you it was sight to be remem'
bered. How that man did run! He went
out west, and I believe he is preaching out in
Illinois. But he never married. He was
very modest, and suppose he was so badly
frightened that time that he never dared to
trust himself near woman again. That
girls, is the reason why never married. |
felt very bad about it for a long time-for he
was real good man, and I've often thought
to myself1hat we would have been very hap.
py, if his suspenders hadn't given way"
SOUND LoG1c.-Old Joe - was a quiet
old man, but somehow too fond of the bottle.
When in cups his ideas tended toward theo-
logical matters, which he always avoided in
his sober moments. 1t was Saturday after
noon Connecticut baking day. and his good
wife wanted some wood for the oven.
"Joe, I do wish you would 60 and split
some wood here it is nearly 2 o'clock, and
the fire isn't made"
Joe went out to execute his commission, and
fearing his physical condition was weak,
marched to the neighboring tavern to fortify
himself therein. He returned home utterly
oblivious to all things save his pet theories.