Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1873-10-25
Independent in all things.

HlteT nlllc, not quite 20 rc1fesneu ny
your outing as you might have been.
The etiquette and conventionalities by
which you have been hampered have
nearly destroyed all the good that the
fresh, pure air and change had guaran-
teed you. ...I.
1t is very seldom that questions Of
this kind arise in the broader social ex-
periences of city-ifc AS regards one
Of its forms, however, .It'..L
AN INCIDENT
occurs to us which happened in an east
ein city. A lady of whom it was not
positively known whether an ancestor Of
hers had come over in the Nav Flower,
or had been friend Of old Peter Stuy-
vesant, moved into certain ncighbor-
hood, and was called upon and intro
duced into a certain clique. They re-
garded themselves as the creme de In
creme of society, and prided themselves
upon their perfect knowledge of all the
etiquette upon which good breeding was
supposedly based. Bat who was the
newcomer? Was she lady, or was
she not? She dressed well: her manners
were courteous, even elegant; there was
no grammatical imperlection in her lam
guage; her conduct was propriety itself;
she had money; and there had been a
Mr.. -; so all the necessary require
ments were fulfilled. Still, this body of
fair danes became uneasy. Their faith
crs were merchant-princes and so were
their husbands; they didn't say much
about their grandfathers. 1t was a ter
nble dilemma to he placed in. and the
question must he solved. The how and
where were decided. \ lunch was given
and the lady was invited 1t was ar
ranged that she should
CUT AND SERVE \ LEMON PUDDING
and her eligibility to be accepted as a
lady, or discarded as nobody, turned
upon the manner in which this was
done. The fatal moment arrived. All
eyes were upon her. Two implements
were before her, IL knife and a spoon.
Each feminine heart throbed high with
hope or fear as they were affected to-
ward the fair creature upon trial. For
tunate woman! she took the spoon; she
was one of them. But had she taken
the knife, what would have been the re-
suit? Dropped-ignored-forgotten by
these self-clected censors. Now, with
all due respect for the observances of
society, the secret of true etiquette lies
far below any of them. 1t is matter
of the heart, and not the head; and its
whole expression lies in the simple in
tention to hurt no ones feelings, no
matter what their station or position.
Herein lies the secret of all good-breed-
ing-thc soul of AL etiquette.
The true lady will
NEVER FIND II NECESSARY
to be arrogant or self-assertive. She
will not fear little intercourse with
one she may account socially her infc-
rlor, because, sure of herself, her own
position, it is unasSaiable from any out
side influence. She can afford to be
courteous at any and all times to the
stranger within her gntes--to the trades
man with whom she deals--the servant
who does her bidding. She does not
fear aggression from the one, familiarity
with the other, or impertiuence from the
last. She does not find it necessary to
go around superciliously aez en- Foir,
and seem TO he in n constant state of as
serting that "There is no such thing as
Eccles." Eccles does not trouble her.
Ordinarily he would not encroach upon
her social sphere in an obnoxious way;
50 she can afford to be her own simple,
dignitied self, quietly polite to all the
Eccleses and Gerridges with whom she
may come in contact, because she is sure
NJ -, al L.,
about iquette. She has been born to
the best, and if need be, can accommo-
date herself to the worst. She rules So
ciety, and
Is NOT RULED BY IT.
Such II woman can hardly be defiled
by amy social pitch with which she may
come in contact. 1t will not stick to
her, and she can afford to live her life
II hampered by small conventionalities
There is but one other class to whom
this is possible, and that is the very
poor-ttcy who have nothing to lose,
and are of no account in the worlds
estimatlon; who have been born to a
life of hardship and toll. Not that
money has anything to do with the po-
sition OF, Il true lady. She, too, may be
poor in worldly goods; but she is rich
III possessing herself.
In fact, those people who are most un-
easy in respect to their conduct and APP
pearance are generally the mOucea,Ge
riches, who are anxious to
APPEAR WHAT THEY ARE NOT.
They have left their true station an |
probably kind hearts behind them, and
are merely supercilious shams, because
they cannot realize how much wiser it is
to be natural and true. These are the
people who are afraid of contamination
with what they are pleased to consider
the lower orders. A fellow-feeling in
stead of making them wondrous kind,
makes them wondrous arrogant and
uneasy. They are impaled upon the
tenter-hooks of what they consider ct
iquette, and are more afraid of what
they are pleased to consider, sole
cism in good manners than they are un-
becoming ingratitude or being guilty of
falsehood. They betray themselves
wherever they go, and are shoddy in
soul, as well as in purse. They have not
yet learned that the first law of good
breeding is
CONSIDERATION OF THE FEELINGS OF 9TH
ERS;
that the simple country woman, who