The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-02-24
Pa rasraphs irons tho Danbury Ne"s.
the Funny Ncwspaper.
Flies are holding rchearsass.

| j. lies UES l.olAiots ..
Mr., Bass, the great English brewer, is tc
no kuichted. He has made a great man.
people So.
The Lcnten season is approaching, ono
people generally are hurrying up 10 &c
their wic&cdncss all in.
The man who wrote to the State Board o
Agriculture to ascertain what was BEST q
plant in wet land, was fayorahIy impressed
by the answer. Il was LccHs.
An absca:minded Danbury LADY, on no
day, tied a bed quilt she had Just MaHl't", ,G
4 rocker in front Of the stove, al" iini''
her baby to the cl0t!lcs-iine.
An Es>cx.strcrt boy made a very hanu'
| some snow nan about seven ictt ni1.' '.".'
| dav. and ROBBED it with III. moth"i S'N's-
| do,la. Paisley shawl. lie Is saaoeS' "hch
he sits.
4 PITTSBURGH man has invented a new
,o,n,stor,, Ii is Of iron, cast lii the rlshl
shapn. with grooves. or rests, Tor maroic
f%,l,je:s. They can be manufactured at a price
that viii give the poorest OF us TWO OF threc
changes OF toslb>toncS apiece.
It WAS = good thing Rarnum's mcnager!c
went 10 ashes. The other similar institu-
items should 20 the same way. Humanity.
has long enough been shocked by the wlItcd
specimens of ani.nals-,he store bca>:s-tliat
have 50 long travcrscd the country, with
their bald ANGLES, dccaycdtcctb, sunken eyes,
and sinking tails. An oid-laSlioned hair
trunk, with a %painthrush tail aud Il brass
eye. would put the whole to lsnon'nlouS
fight.
You are generally looking at something
very intcntly when it hap2cns-perhaps you
| are smiling to yourself. Then your left TOOL
| shoots out to one side with Il suddenncss
that creates a sickness in the family. Ice
| commences to form on your spine and Irrs'
| ~piration on y0ur brow, and your scalp HITS
enough to permit 4 streak Of cold air TO pass
under. The other leg goes out at this june
ture, YOUR head snaps violently to the front,
and there IS q faint impression on your
| mind tlmt the world is about to come to an
| end, with nobody in charge. Ml!cs OF side
| walk spin out from you like lightning.
| Thrcc-stcrr buildings jump over your
| head in swift Succession. People disappear
Suddenly and with appalling mystery. Then
vour ewes close, yOur CONSCIOUSNESS wen ),
and your soul goes out in one expiring
culver, and-and you arrive. The hard
reality of the scene Is then forced upon you
| with UNPLEASANT ~a5ruptness. Everything Is
| III Its place iut your spine. You get up aud
move eli with Il sicily attempt at a smile,
feeling ut tie timctilat the back Of your head
is laughing from car 10 ear, and finding that
the hardest thing il, not the sidewalk, but 10
keep from rubbing yourself.
"Catrh:ng on bchind' is the browning
ENJOYMENT noW for boys. JOHNNY come,
| home at night sulfeited with fun. lie has
! had Il good Time, bat he is tired. His nose
il spit open at the end, and one of llls teeth
is gouc, ami he las Jumps Oh the buck Of his
head; but he has bad Il good time, and he
| comes home to hear his IHuther lead about
| Joseph and his brethren, and rub him with
| linimcut. There is huge fun in catching on
| behind, but it requires aGrcit deal OF adlolt-
| ness and decision. The successful lad is he
who is never looking for Il ride. lie stands
with his hands in his pocket, actively d-vour-
Ing the scenery with one eye, while the otleris
proving around under cover Oh the lookout
for a good chance. And when it comes he
pounccS down on the cornicc OF the slriSi,
in such a manner as to cover the most tell
der parts of himself in East he has fallen upon
Il Phili:tinc. The sulicitnac with which Il
boy shields his tender parts will bring tears
to The eye, OF a tax collector. But he always
gets on the slcign, and gets OH, too, when
! urged by 4 long whip-laslI; and when he
| gets OFF he rolls hiin-eif iii a lump and
| merely lets -, and tu9 fate that always pro-
| trcts boys sees that lie bound, into safety.
Wood sIpi.bS. with long stfoaS stakes TO
catch.