The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1873-04-05

CONTINGENT EXPENSES OF CONGRESS-.
The Little Items that Go to Make Up the Grand
Climax Of our s'Congrsgatsd wisdom"-Ex-
psctsd Dsautiss Of LsgiSlation-what It q.
!, Costs to Part the Back Hair Of Con-
rsio,a grsssmsn-Frsnch Rappee for 81
nc trace American Senatorial Noses ar WI


From the Washington Capital, March 3o1
Among the pelitical literature issued BY our pa.
which reaches us under the title OF Contingent
Expenses :, tss House, = made up by that accom-.
plished clerk, Edward McPherson, and a IKE docu-
G. Q. German, who signs himself Secretary Of the
Senate: one never can know the wants Of Soon
the Hon. Lycurgus Leatherlungs. fer example, Is
returned by his conhding constituents to Congress
4r s aSs @ Is
penditure OF money the wife OF his BOSOM
MIS- Mrs Leathsrlangs OF Mrs, Senator stray; o.
tiOnary--wouId probably. labor under the aelu-
sion that on o sheet OF commercial note the
mated and considered satisfactory 4 perusal OF
these two documents proves, TO the amazement OF
such deluded mortals that such grave Legislator Y
nary demands. Now who, for example would
with spittoon We know that such guardian OF
our constitutional rights chews tobacco. The
American political intellect demands we know, the
soothing stimulant OF this weed. But did the
widest Imagination ever suppose that each Con-
gresham must be supplied With spttoon Yet
toration there must be Its really dlscouraging.
There must be such an excess. K 49, II Aas-f -
TINS e only one SSt = nnnaIed
we ass remark that the spittoon seems to be such
q perishable article. Every session Of Congress-
number. 1t is not very extravagant estimate in
the way OF dollars and cents but as 1t - an item OF
Sonsna11s would ca not be wen o 70
mittee on Spittoons, established to regulate the
affaira In the Senate our great Mchigander, the
the House the Speaker could select from among the
leaders the man who, having served more than enc
does or does not expect-to-rate as . gentleman.
or we might suggest portable spittoon to be
attached to the person OF each member. The
could then be illustrated BY each HONORABLE mem
Der appearing abroad vita the portable spittoon
box why not his spittoon, through the use Of which
In cars and about hotels and at private houses he
could save the carpets OF friends and the dresses OF
women We know that you experienced tobacco
chewers can expectOrate with the accuracy OF o
rifle shot across q room into the bars OF CRATE,
but the fears OF nervous people that there may be
random shot at times should be taken into account
we knew once, for example, when the late William
Polk, brother Of the President and ex-Minister to
Naples, was firing at a distant CRATE with Ned
DickersOn, q great dandy at the time, sitting
the ns Of Ct Ned could not
sion Polk, observing this, paused In the exercise
and said solemniy = IL l.l.n aL..
lost.n -ss..es . r+ es .cs si.ss. 49, t.#.
But this takes us from our subject.
House " Of Representatives ' Between December
1871, and June 80, 1872, had 173 hair brushes at
cost of 1921 TO- and 22s combs at cost OF s21e So
Now, why the House should need such quantity OF
hair brushes and combs botners the will and con-
POUNDS the understanding. Looking down from
one sssSk @ these
heads that, rising above the timber belt exhibit
bald knobs upon which comb or brush would
such a tremendous demand for combs and
brushes 2 And about this amount appears in
sion calls for fresh supply Of combs ana brushes
No comb can be constructed that Will last through
S Se ae q ae w se
OF a bald-headed Scion over ninety days. Does
this come Of frantic effort to get the little hair
at the base trained up over the baid place above
who knows 7 Were all our Congressman like unto
GARRISON b. Pottah OF New York, we might under
stand the continuous and amazing demand for
bodied BARRIERS at work, six times day, parting
"An' .is't Misther Pottah yer spakin' NV" de-
manded an Irish messenger one day. "Be the
howly Moss, an isn't he the pay-cock NV Of the de-
moracy now I? N~eS 9N El Mal 8&8
But the members are not all Hon. Pottahs, assc con-
traire quite the reverse and we should suspect
caring away these articles as he did the plate but
for the fact that there is like mystery about the
hair brushes, the sgnate calls for 219, although the
Senate has less number, and in proportion more
Jones says these barbaric implements are dis
tributed through the committee rooms; thar the
members never touch them and that at the end OF
them on. Jones was clerk himself once, and he
ought to know. II this Is so, Bassett, Shepherd,
PAINTER ana Otnef OLD lelOWS must De running
variety stores or holding stock In barber shops.
We honored committee once with being its
clerk, and our committee numbering nine MEM
bers, used the combs and brushes every morning.
We could not see that they came to the committee
room for any other purpose. Little ONeL Of
Pennsylvania in his frantic attempt to get his hair
up over hts intellect, would get on his toes and
after while give spasmodfc little jumps. We dis
missed that committee because Conger, of Michi-
gan, wanted US to take the comb and brush and
make his head resemble the Hon. Pottah's. We
gave the little Michgander one look and the chair
man our resignation. We did not carry OF the hair
brushes and cOmbs-COnger did. He was deter
mined to resemble the Hon. Pottah or die
These are entertaining reports, and we must re-
turn to them hereafter, for our article runs beyond
the brevity that is the soul OF wit.
We cannot dismiss them, however. without call
ing attention to some curious developments in
our Senatorial fog bank. For example, on page 90
French snun for use OF Senate, 50 2on Now, as
the only Senator, we believe, who INDUCES In this
luxury is Senator Thurman Is 1t possible that 1t
costs this distressed government and Overtaxed
people "a 20 to ttate the Senatorial of Ohlo2
The bill says 'for the OF the Senate" Does the
Senate take snunS Does the Senate sneeze2 We
opine not.