Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-06-23
VOL. IXXlV.
LEyA GAZETTE l. VIRGINIA ADVERTISER
SippiRgs of "Punch.'
lDERA SERIl


sippings Of "Puncl,.''
OPERA sERIA.
The Wigginses were giving the First Garden
Party, and young Frisker, who had just taken
the studio next door, had one too, when sud-
denly ponderous missile came hurtling through
the air (uarrowly missing several of the guests
and buried itself with tremendous ''thud" in
the turf of Wiggin's lawn.
Tenor votce dolce from the top OF the wal)
II beg, your pardon, but have seen a
Wiggins, Sen. (solo bass, of an obligatory
charactar) )-"Have l seen Quoit p | eto.
.4nd Chorus f-"Haye we, etc., etc p ! !!
by the whole strength of the company.
Finale, (ugttato.)
BELLIGERENTs
Grandpa, (goaded to madness, as the ball
bounded from the back OF his head d)-"Get cut
of the room, you little! Ivo told you half
a.dozen times, sir, to go and play in the hall
My dear. wish you d ring for Mary to take
the child upstairs.
Grandson -''If you do, | II get into mischief
and turn on all the taps"
EMULATION.
M.ud-"I've had ,ohooping cough r'
Ethel-"Oh. that's nothing why I've had
MuuI-"Well, I've had brouchit is !! !!
Etha-(after pause -'I learn French !!
ICollapse of Maud.
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Fastiaious james. 1t is not strictly etiquette
when gentleman declines to dine with you On
the ground Of being engaged, to write in reply
that you believe that's all bumbug and thai he
hopes for pleasanter Invitation; but your
answer would often be truthful.
huputient Hester-When Hamlet said:
sThose that are married already, all but one
shall live" it is certain that he meant, when
king of Denmark, 10 provide means OF living
for such couples as bad welded on insufficient
incomes But don't you and "dear Tom
marry on the idea that anything OF the sort
will be done for you. Wait and hope to get
tired of one another.
Gus Eccuse. Letters intended to be de-
lyered never miscarry Misdrect carefully, if
for any reason you desire your epthct to go
astray, and returned to you, that you may show
it when the mischief you wish it thought you
tried to prevent is done. 1t you ought to write
to Leicester Square, omit Square, and your
letter will make pleasant tour into the mld-
lands.
4 Righvm Ueir--With pleasure. Send us
all your papers, and we will read them careful
ly, and il necessary, obtain our solicitor opin-
ion for you. Else, wherefore breath We IN
Christiau world p CT, rather, what else is the
duty of IN editor?
Scrupaslous There is no objection to shoot
iug street orgallist tut do not fire out OF your
window whua anybody else is about, lest you III
jure fellow creature.
L. j. M-You did not seud the stamps,
which was bore, because at the momeDt we
happened to want some, but your poem would
equally have gone iuto the waste-paper basket
Where is your right TO give Us the slightest
trouble
4 Detected WJe.--We cau give no advice
about uarking-iuk Besides, respectable wash
erwomeu now decliue TO work for persons mean
enough to mark their linen, and thus not only
show a want OF confidence, but give the trouble
of sorting the things
VIENNA LOCALS. The bricks used for build
ing purposes iu Vienna are twelve inches long,
six inches in breadth and three and a-half inch
es thick. Immense quantities ct them are used
in the construction OF house, as all division
walls of rooms are of brick, and the outer walls
generally double as thick as they are with US.
All the most mouial work in Vienna is done
by wcmen such as cleaning and sweeping the
streets, gathering up garbage carrying water,
and pumping it from the cistcrns to the rescr-
yoirs iu the upper stories, saving wood, DC.
Woman has the right to do man work
in Austria, and as the ''lords of creation have
TO rights Of their own, she IS On full equality
here. They are the carriers for all the news
papers. :, =.
The Beautiful Blue Danube" which
Strauss has ilpmortalized, turns out upon per-
sonal inspection, to be stream OF very muddy
water not much wider than Jones Falls,
though it is quite swift running stream, and
is navigable for some miles by steamboats, that
draw but eighteen inches of water. Travellers
generally find that the poets and painters use
license of language and description that would
in any other profession be called lying.
There are abundance of cherries Tor sale IN
Vienna, but they are brought here from Italy,
The season haviog been too backward and col'i
here for fruit to ripen yet. However, this 81
of Juue is decidedly warm spring day, and
We have actually had no rain for torty-elght
hours.
There are plenty of fees iu Vienna, notwith-
standing the cold weather. The natives never
feel them, however, nor do any other Europeans
except the English. They seem to have a
special fondness for American ladies, but 90
not approach them 10 such hordes as in Italy.
Stl, there is sufficient to keep up apretty con.
tinual irritation.
No one In Vienna chews tobacco, and there
is none on sale anywhere. Cigars are manu-
iaetared by the Government and are sold only
M ~ s.efes where nothing else is sold except post
~s' est s,ahps. they are at fixed prices the low
~ sb Jbosuas iour krulzers and the highest eight,
:" aopa. lour cents in our currency. The latter
are ABOUT equal In quality to American domes.
~ I o'sars, that bring three dollars per hundred
:c S s,os.I cigar IS sold here at the same rate
as IL Il one thousand were purchased '' '''0
Inc lottery system is in full blast in Austria.
unaer the sanction and authority of the Gov,
ernment' aud flaming posters ou the corne,s e,
promise immense prizes, as was the case IN
baltimore during the palmy days of France -
nFoadoent d Co-Cor Bolt. american. ''