The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-04-17
sHAVINGs.

OOuAu w 0ulu6--lQ6 sun.
| A See-saW-The sword-fsh. shI
Nautical Mourning See-tOeeds. 9s
Food for the mind Cereal publications. Il
When is baby like March !? When it
brings squalls. $50 as slsmfaa aoea 2.
"Feminary" is the latest abbreviation of
| When is race-horse not whole horse !?
When he is G-Ae0d. sa2s aottia tAa
An early spring. Jumping out of bed at
five O'Clock in the morning.
Aldermen is not synonym for wooden
heads, though they form together board,
You don't hear of policeman being run
over--they are never in the way.
A fireman writes to say that If your plano
forte should catch fire the best plan is to play
on it.
Little fish have good notion as to the
commencing of life-they always begin on q
small scale.
Talk about the modern falling off of home
affections Our wives are becoming deGrsr
every day. afr.u 4
''It is a sin to steal PIN" and man has
been arrested for that very offence. The pin
has a diamond attached to it.
If you let the cat out Of the bag, never try
to cram it back again; it only makes mat
tiers worse.
Boxes, it is said, govern the world-the
cartridge box, the ballot-box, the jury-box,
and last, though not least, the bonnet-box.
A scboolboy remarks that when his teacher
undertakes to "show him what is what" he
only fndssout which is StUitch.
little girl of eight or ten summers, being
asked what dust was, replied that it was mud
with the Juice squeezed out.
The most important needle-work ever done
by the mariners compass.
A little boy, having broken his rocking
horse the day it was bought, his mother began
to rebuke him. He silenced her by enquIring
'What is the good of boss till it's broke ?'
A cruel man described his mother laws
eyes in the following outrageous manner
"She is SO cross-eyed that whenever she cries
her tears flow cross-ways over her back"
A man who bought thousand Havana CT
gars recently, on being asked what he was
carrying, replied that they were tickets to
course of lectures to be given by his wife.
contemporary describes how "a young
man who thinks he has fine tenor voice was
vaccinsted with brlckbat by sleepless
neighbOr last week.
A widower. who had never quarreled with
his wife, said the last day of his marriage was
as happy as the first. Another widower said
the last day of his marriage was the happi-
| est.
! A gentleman threw a boot-jack at his
strong -minded and strong-tongued wife the
other day. He thinks potato-grater beats
all creation in removing hair from the head.
A friend says that no man can know what
true happiness is, who has never been mar
rieG and had mother-iD.law and wife'G
aunt living in the house with him, and then
saw them die.
doctor went out for a days hunting, and,
on coming home, complained that he hadn't
killed anything. THAT'S because you didn't
attend to your legitimate business" said his
wife.
A gentleman, lying in bed ore morning, was
informed that he had better get up quick,
breakfast was coming in. "Le5 1t come" he
replied, defantly; eft will find me ready to
meet it,"
81 have no luck in fishing never could
persuade fish to bite" said a young exuuis.
tie, TRY your powers on cross dog" re-
marded rough bystander, "an' see if you
don't have better luck.'
A young lady at Islington sets her parents
bulldog on such male visitors as she does not
desire to come again. The front yard looks
like the floor of a tailor's shop, and the dog
grows fat and saucy every day.
"Pat" said an officer to his Irish servant
'you clean my boots very carelessly. THE
right is always much brighter than the left"
"Sure, yer honour, and isn't that the foot va
always kick me with %
A member OF the Lazy Club had just
been expelled for going at a faster gait
than walk. The recussnt offered in miti-
cation OF the sentence the fact that the sher
i'll was after him, but the society was inexor.
able.
en-. e.., ,,