The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-07-03
The First Garden.

A Young couple raised on the modern
most fashionable plan, marry, settle to
themselves and conclude to have a gar
den The man breaches the subject.
He has had no experience whatever IN
gardening, for his old father always took
such trough work" off his hands, but he
thinks he knows it all, of course. His
little wife" thinks she knows even more,
so when the subject is mentioned, says
the Danbury News:
She draws her chair upto his, and lays
one hand on his knee, and purses up her
little lips into a whistle of expectation
the vixen-and tells about her mothers
garden, and how nice it is to have vege-
tables fresh from the vines every morn
ing, and she will go right out and plan
the whole thing herself. And SO she
does. He takes his spade, and works
himself into a preparation, and she
tramps around under frightful sun-bon-
net, and gets under his feet and shrieks
ID the worms, and loses her shoes, and
makes him first vexed, and then mad,
and then ferocious. After the garden is
spaded, he gets the seed, and finds that
she has been thoughtful enough to open
of different vegetables into one dish. This
leads him to step out doors where he can
commune with nature alone for moment.
Then he takes up the seed and hoe, and
a line and two pegs, and starts for the
garden. And then she puts on that aw-
full bonnet, and brings up the rear with
long handled rake, and pocket full OF
beans and petunia seed and dahlia bulbs.
While he is planting the corn she stands
on the cucumber hills, and rakes over the
seed pan. Then she puts the rake handle
over her shoulder, and the teeth into his
hair, and walks over the other beds. He
don't find the squash seed until she moves,
and then he digs them out of the earth
with his thumb. She plants the best
seed herself, putting just about two feet
of earth and sod upon them. Then she
takes advantage of his absorption in 9th
er matters, and pus down the petunia
seed in one spot, and afterwards digs
them up and puts them down in another
place. The beans she conceals in the
earth wherever she can find place, and
puts the bulbs in the cucumber hills.
Then she tips over the seed-pan again,
and apologies, and steps on two of the
which in no way resembles what he says.
About this time she discovers better
place for the petunia seed, but having
forgotten where she last put them, she
proceeds to find them, and within an in
credible bIief space of time, succeeds in
unearthiDg pretty much everything that
has been put down. After confusing
things so, there is no earthly possibility
of ever unravelIing them again, she says
the sun is killing her, and goes over to
the fence, where she stands four hours,
telling the woman next door about an
aunt of hers who was confined to her bed
for eleven years, and had eight doctors
from the city, but nothing would give her
any relief until an old lady-but you
have heard it before. The next day a
man comes to his Office to get the pay for
a patent seed-sower which his wife had
ordered, and he no more than gets away
before the patentee of new lawn mower
comes in with an order for ten dollars,
and he in turn is followed by the corn
shelter man, and the miserable gardener
starts for home to head off the robbers,
and finds his wife at the gate with his
own hat on, and just about to close a
bargain with a smooth-faced individual
for 5000 moving machine and pearl
handled, ivory-mounted hay-cutter. He
first knocks the agricultural implement
agent on the head, and then drags the
miserable woman into the house and,
locking the door, gives himself up to his
emotions.
The News here drops the subject
and leaves us in doubt touching what
steps the man took next. but we would
not hesitate to wager reasonable amount
that he Immediately started an agricul-
tural newspaper.