The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-07-24
Who Owns that Pig ?

do not like pork as an article of
diet, but as a means of promoting an
appetite have no hesitancy in recon-
mending it.
Who owned the particular pig which
promoted my appetite most could never
be found out. Every few days an insane
man would be raving around with a
hatchet and gun and dog, inquiring
who owned thatpig, and nothing was ever
found out about it, except that the pig
belonged to one of the neighbors. One
of the neighbors ought to be ashamed
knew what that pig wanted around our
house. He seemed to be looking for
something IN the flower beds, among
the potatoes, in the poultry yards, and
once or twice he walked in at the front
door. Hewas looking for something, and
he found everything, should think,
except the cellar drain but he still
wore sadly disappointed air. 1t finally
occurred to me that the pig thought the
fence ought to be fixed, and, as wanted
to do something to satisfy him, I went
out the next morning and collected all
the broken boards and things 1 could
find and fixed the fence, and after it
was all done the pig was following me
toward the house for breakfast. L did
not know where he got in, and he did
not know, but I made up my mind that
he must find the place. He was willing
enough to look for it, and chased him
over the currant bushes and over table
cloth spread out to bleach, and in among
the dahlias and over the onions, and
everywhere else, but he didn't find the
hole he came III at, nor did I. How
ever, 1 had an appetite for my break
fast.
Then Maria came out and stood on
the back steps, like female Napoleon,
and issued orders Approximations and
general directions with the rapidity of
chain lightning, and, with beautiful
and implicit trust in Providence, threw
bricks and coal-shovels and sad
irons and stove wenches and broken
crockery with her left hand, and if her
right hand knew what the left was doing
it knew a pile more than could keep
track of. The pig upset a ahen-coop and
stepped on three chickens and made q
maniac of the old hen, who blamed me
for the whole affair and acted according
ly, and then the pig got into the corn
and refused to come out under any cir
cumstances, although I had given up
the idea of finding where he came in,
and had opened the gate and let down
the bars. Maria went into the house
for some furniture to throw, and 1 tried
to set the dog on the pig. The dog had
learned to regard the pig as one of the
family, and could not understand my
illusions, and finally got out of patience
and inserted fine set of natural teeth
in my leg. He did not get the wrong
pig by the ear, but it amounted to the
same thing so far as 1 was concerned.
Maria came ont with a broom, and ex-
planned the situation to the dog, and
the dog went into the corn after the
pig, and came back in thirty seconds a
bankrupt community. I had appetite
enough for week. Finally borrowed
two boys from neighbor, and the gro
GERS man, and we drove the pig out,
after he had tramped down all the corn,
and he made for place in the picket
fence where there had never been hole,
and made one and got out. My appe-
tite would have justified me in eating
that pig but circumstances would not
allow. There used to be some poetry
about "Whois my neighbor ?" and that's
what l want to know-the neighbor who
owns that pig.