Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-08-01
CURRENT ITEMS.

WHEN man Is ueAU, anu can't we
read his words, ~ WILL" &c.
LIVERPOOL, Ohio, settled in 1920, has
never lost building by fire.
"DAUeHTERoULTURAL show" is the
latest name for an evening party.
A Com dated 1894 is the historical
pocketpiece of lady at Rhinebeck, N.
GovERNEss to pupil: Where does tea
come fromY Naughty little boy Out of
the teapot.
AT concert the other day one Of the
vocalists found her voice thick; she
strained it, but without good effect.
A HoBoKEN editor being challenged,
sent word in reply: "When l want to die,
can shoot myself"
THE Sdratogian says that not one per
son in fifteen who comes to Saratoga
drinks of the spring water.
ELEVEN Baptist converts have been
in prison in Kew, Russia, for almost a
year, on account of their faith.
OCEAN shells don't murmur. A New
York man says that it is only such a sound
as one can hear by placing the mouth of
jug to his ear.
ANup-town young lady, speaking of one
of her aversions said the severest thing
On IGCOIu, Ilt dlIlOSJ u DtIlCtL
he only lacks instinct"
A YOUNG man recently popped the
question in q new Kentucky Court House,
and now boasts of hsving held the first
court" in the building.
GAS soCIABLE as a batch of candidates
two weeks before election" is the latest
way of expressing the fact that man is
good-natured and pleasant.
ROcro>r iau-a1or hoe On ov1,;1,;;or
what he claims to be the largest diamond
in the United States. 1t weighs thirty-two
carats, and has yellow tinge.
AN enterprising dog in Utica secured
samples from the clothing of eight light
ning-rod agents within half an hour after
a thunder storm the other day.
The st. Louis Democrat says that CITY
invested over 100000 in the Louisville
library lottery, and not one-tenth of that
sum was drawn by ticket.holders
The grange has reached Vermont. The
Ethan Allen Grange of the Patrons of
Husbandry is the name of the first one,
organized in Milton, Chittenden County
A DETROIT man was masquerading on
the streets as genuine Modoc, and was
ducked by party of patriotic newsboys,
intent upon avenging the Candy murder
ACCORDING to the last market reports,
cheese is "strong and active" We feared
as much. According to the same reports,
.'whisky is going down." We should say
it was.
WE are told of a gentleman in this sec
tion who, though only twenty eight years
of age, recently married his fourth wife.
The three previous ones died, each leav-
ing two children.-COIunabus (Gd.) Sun.
Four toy balloons, tied together, were
sent up at Peoria on the Fourth and
landed in Mackville, one hundred miles
away. They were identified by the cards
of the owners attached to them.
WHEN Shakespeare wrote about pa
thence on monument, did he refer to
doctors patients? No. How do you
know he did not? Because you always
find them under monument.
JACOB G.. LARGE was shot scalped, and
left for dead by Indians, in Western Kan
sas, some months ago. He arrived in
Leavenworth recently, on his way to his
former home in Minnesota.
RATHER NIcE-Algernon Elthelred-
"What do you think of my new portrait
They have made me precious ugly
haven't they?" Constantine Lavinia-
eyes, they have, very; but it is asplendid
likeness. ."-Punch.
HENCEFoRTH, every man who enters
the British army may, if he will, learn g
trade, the choice being left to him; and
thus, at the same time that he is subject
ing himself to discipline, and acquiring
habits of obedience, he may become al
artificer, skillful or not, according to hi
capabilities.
THE woman who is annually killed by
the bite of spider expired this season a
Knoxville Tenn. Her gifted sister, wht
works out the road-tax, had, when las
heard from, completed grading section
of road in Maine. The remaining sisters
plow eighty acres and plant it in corn thi
year in Kansas.
THE Tycoon knows how to start news
paper. He does not offer big beets, no
prize squashes, nor oroide jewelry as pre-
miums for subscribers. Having taken al
interest in the publication of new pape
at the japanese capital, he has issued al
order that all men of certain social ant
political circles shall take it or be be
headed
Miss MARIA PORTER, the Yankee cir
who toiled eighteen hours a day learning
to show off on skates, and who acquired
such skill that she had the honor of skai
ing with Napoleon Ill, and became tn
belle of the Partisan skaters, has receives
her reward. She lately married q Prus
sian nobleman old enough to be he
grandfather.
WE trust our readers can succeed bette
than we have in pronouncing the thre
following Indian words which are to b
found in Church's "History of King Phi
ip's war;" printed in 1895 In this laI
guage: hekodtantamo oonganuI
nonash, signifes-our lusts. Noowomal
ammoonkanunnonnash signifies - ou
loves Kummogkodonattoo ttoottummovetite
odgannuononnash signifies, in the lal
guage of our time-our question"
AN exchange says: We have just pc
fected an invention which will probabl
relieve us in the future from the persecI
tion of life insurance agents and boo
canvassers. 1t is in the nature of a patel
combination re1eX-action door scrape
We fasten it down by the side of the loV
est step in front of our house, and wa
until book canvasser comes alon
which one is tolerably certain to do wit
in fifteen or twenty minutes. The ca
vasser stops to scrape his boots, while
thinks up some new and vigorous eXa
geration with which to impose on us.
his foot touches the iron, two clamps
over his instep and hold him fast, a ste
claw suddenly shoots up his leg and gral
his trowsers, a trap flies open in the paw
ment, and the victim is hurled into a co
cellar, where we have an infuriated Iris
man engaged to mellow or flatten him o
with a scoop-shovel or hatchet We {
low the Irishman a royalty upon the l
mains, and he seems to be animated by
earnest enthusiasm which promises rio
results. If the machine works we'll '
shall either buy graveyard or found
medical college. In the meantime, pc
sons in want of bodies for dissection
other purposes will please apply. The
corpses will be closed out at a sacrifice
cash purchasers.
Minnesota Republican Platform.
The resolutions adopted by the rece