The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1873-08-14
nsns mn - nsusSa,ef Repsrtsr.
The Shsh scratches his head with the
oe a salA- AollaR

nsns mn ~ nsusDa,er Reporter.
TIE Shsh scratches his head with the
corner Of . salt-cellar.
To make tall man sAort-Try to
borrow Eve dollars Of him.
A circuit court-The longest way
home from tho singing school.
An Ohio reporter, desperate for an
item, has given the world the avordu-
pois Of the Grand Jury
Il was as long ago ~ the Fourth o:
july that Jones asked for the shoe-horD
10 pat on his hat with.
Every man must be alone in the world.
No heart was ever cast in the same
mould as that which we bear within NJ.
Thought means life, since those who
do not think do not live in any high Or
real sense. Thinking makes the man.
One profession, says Punch, is sale
from the invasion of woman. Shc may
enter the army, but it is impossible that
she can man the navy.
They have, - yet had no cholera in
st, Louis, but large number OF people
old and young, have died from cholera
infantum Sucker State.
Now put your bait on the trcacherous
hook, and cast it in the shady brook, for
when the sunfish secs it squirm, he'll
surely 60 for that angle worm.
The latest instance afforded by q
fond mother of her sons cleverness, Is
said sons correcting her for saying he
was all over dirt. Hc said the dirt was
al over HIM.
A Detroit hotel keeper was 50 angry
with man who sent him circular ad-
vertising bed-bug exterminator that
he Knocked him down and bit of . p0r.
ton of his ear.
The editor of the Kankakce Gazette
thinks fishing, as general rule, don't
pay, -"We stood it all day in the river
last week." he says, "but caught moth
ing-until we got homo"
An exchange speaks Of rare Ben
Butler" Very rare indeed. The coun-
try will never have Butler with the
plaudit "Ueu done good and faithful SER
vant"-Loxisrilie Comricr-Joarnal.
Scientists arc claiming that instead Of
beirg cold, the moon is in reality red
hot; 90 much so that no living thing
known to our world could exist there.
This spoils tho "grcen cheese" theory.
Some one tells story of steam boat
passenger watching the revolving light
Of tho lighthouse on the coast, and cx-
claiming. "GOsh! tho wind blows that
light out rs fast rs tho man can strike
it."
After Mr.. Casey had finished reading
the Declaration" on tho Fourth, .
man rose and moved that the
speech be published, "a it was one Of the
best speeches he had ever ''hern" in his
lifc.-Mound City Journal.
A good-looking telegraph operator in
Columbus, Ohio, waited about an hour
tho other afternoon to witness plunge
by the sca-lion. His lionship finally
Jumped, and q suit of linen duck went to
tho washerwoman in the afternoon.
A sentimental editor says, 1t is COM
forting to know that ono eye watches
fondly for our coming, and looks brigh-
ter when We come" A contemporary is
cricved to learn that his brother of the
quill has wife with only one eye"
Several passengers, on the lower
Mississippi, were attracted by the alliga-
turs bssking in tho sunshine. care they
amphibious, captain?" asked q locker
on. "Amphibious, h,-l" answered
the enthusiastic officer, they'll eat hog
. minute"
The patent churn is the latest itcm-
creator yet produced in the boundlcss
West. A little girl at Clinton, Wis.,, was
recently caught in tho gearing of one
Of these implements, and ere she could
be rescued looked rs if she had been
spanked with curry-comb
Two men disputing about tho pronun-
citation OF the word "eithei"-one say
ing it was ce-ther, the other i-ther-agrse-
cd to refer the matter to tho first person
they met, who happened to be an Irish
man, who confounded them both by de-
claring, '.its naythcr, for it's aythcr."
Fort Scott Kansas has been seeing a
snake IN the sky. The Monitor says.
'tThc sky was clear and the sun rose en-
tircly unobscured. When tho disk of
tho sun was about half way above the
horizon the form of a huge serpent, ap.
parcntly perfect in form, was plainly
seen cncircIing it, and it was visable for
some moments" The editor declares that
he has the statement from two reliable
witnesses, who are willing to mako af-
ii,davit TO the above. 1t will soon DO
timc for a national prohibitory liquor
law, if this sort of q thing is to continue.
A minister had negro in his family.
One Sunday when he was preaching, he
happened to look in the pew where tho
negro was, and could hardly contain
himself as he saw the negro, who could
not read or write o word, scribbling away
most industriously. After meeting he
said to tho negro: Tom what were
you doing in church," "Taking notes,
massa: al do gemmon takes notes. /"
nBring your notes hcre and lot me see
them." Tom brought his notes, which
looked moro like Chinese than English.
"Why Tom this is all nonsense" 81
thought 90. massa, all the time you was
nrCachinr IL.