The Van Buren press., 1873-07-15
From the Utica Herald


point in one eve and stick in one hand
One eve was covered with a handkcr
chief and one arm in sling. Ills bear
ing was that of man with settled pGr-
pose in view.
Il want to see, says he, "t the man
that puts things into this psper y
We intimated that several OF us earned
frugal livelihood in that way.
We'll. / want.to see the man which
cribs things out of the other papers The
fellow who writes mostly with shears,
Won understand
We explained to him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among us,
driven to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas
and events, and by the clamorous de
mands Of an Unsuitable public, in moments
of emotional insanity plunged the glitter
ing shears into our exchanges He went
OF calmly, but in a voice tremulous with
suppressed feeling and indstinct through
the recent loss Of half dozen or so Of
his front teeth
just so. presume so ! don't
know much about thls business, but
want 10 see man, the man that printed
that little piece about pouring cold water
down drunken mans spine of his back,
aud making him instantly sober lfyou
please, want to see that man, | would
like to talk with him y
Then he leaned bis stick against our
desk and moistenea his serviccablc hand,
and resumed his Lo.d on the stick as
though he was weighing it After stnd
wing the stick minute, he added, IN n
somewhat louder tone;
" Mister, came here to see that ere
man. | want to see him bad
We told him that particular man WAS
not in.
"Just so presume so. They tolI
me before | come that the man | wanted
TO see wouldn't be anywhere I'll wait
for him live up north, and I've walk
ed seven miles TO converse with that
man | guess I'll sit down aud wait. y
He sat down by the door and reflect.
ivcly pounded the floor with his stick,
but his feelings would not allow him to
keep still.
{" suppose none Of you didn't ever
pour much cold water down any drunk
an mans back to make him instantly so
ber, perhaps .
None Of us in the Office had ever tried
thc experiment,
just so | thought just as like as
not YOU bad not, Well, mister, have |
tr.ed it yesterday, and have como seven
miles on foot to see the man that printed
that piece. 1t wasn't much of n piece,
don't th.nk, but ! want to see the man
that printed it, just few minutes. You
see, .JoLn Smith, he lives next door to
my house, when I'm to home, and he
gets kow -came-you so every little peri
od Now, when he's sober, he's all
right il rou keep out OF his way; but
when he's drunk he goes home and
breaks dsnea and tips over the stove, and
throws The hardware around, and makes
it mconvenieot for his wife, and some
M,ges be gets bis gun aud goes out call
iing on his pejghbors, and it amt pleas
ant
Not that want to say anything about
Smith, but ne and my wife don't think
he ought to do SO. He came home drunk
Yesterday, sad broke all the kitchen win
lows cut of his house, and followed his
wife around with the carving knife, talk
ing about her liver, and after "a while he
laid down by my fence and went to sleep
i had been reading that little piece, and
| thoagLtH il ! could pour some water
down bis spine, on his back, and make
him sober, it wOald be more comfortable
for his wife, aud a square thing tp do all
around SO poured q bucket of spring
water down jobs Smiths spine of his
back "
Well, said we, as our visitor aus
ed. - did it make him sober p Our Wis
itor took a frmer hold Of his stick and
replied wi!h increased emotion
just so suppose it did make him
MS sober as Judge in less time than you
could say Jack Robinson, but, mister, it
made him mad 1t made him the mad
est man | ever saw; and, Mr., John
Smith is a bigger man than me, and
stouter lie is good deal stouter Bla
bless him, never knew he was half SO
stout till yesterday and he's handy with
his fists, too. should suppose he's the
handiest man With his fists that ! ever
saw.
Then lie went for you, did he wc
asked iunoccn,ly
Just SO Exactly suppose he
wont foy me about the best he knew, bat
| don't hold no grudge against John
Smith | suppose he amt good man to
hold a grudge against, only want to see
that man what printed that piece. want
to see him bad, feel as though it
would soothc me to see that man | want
to show him how drunken man acts
when you pour wster down the spine OF
his back That's what come for.
Our visitor, who had poured water
down the spine OF a drunken mans back,
remained until about 6 o'clock in the ev.
ening, aud then went up the street TO
find the man that printed that little piece,
The man he is locking for started for
Alaska last even for n summer vacation,
and will not be back before September,
1878.
TIT A lady raturn;uU from an unArof.