The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1873-06-20
scrssoRrNes.

An article you can always lend
a joke.
A powerful jackscrew-Captain
Jacks crew.
An article you can always bor-
row-Trouble.
Mark Twain respects his baby for
its fathers sake.
An article you can always ex-
change Gossip.
Florida brags of lemons two feet
In circumference.
Massachusetts, refuses to pension
her retired Judges.
Even benevolence must be run on
business principles.
An article you can always pur-
ehase-A politician.
Rather than die without groan,
iet me groan without die.
There are one hundred men in the
South Carolina Legislature.
The New York railways threaten
to suppress the prize package fend.
The best elocutionists pronounce
the "g" in such words as pudding.
Cast-iron shubbery for county seats
is an economical novelty. Pretty
too.
"Home-Sweet, sweet home" as
the bee said when he entered his
hive.
Postal cards will be delicate and
delightful way to dun delinquent
debtors.
The superiority of American loco
motives is conceded by the London
Engineer.
Dead wildcats stuffed with straw
sell readily at forty cents each in
Minnesota.
The fate that overtakes prominent
men in Kansas is having counties
named after them.
The grand list of New Haven this
year foots up $50, ,000, 900, against
$50, Al, Ola last year.
Florida lemon squeezers have to
be made so as to accommodate eight
inch in diameter specimens.
You can use postage stamp twice.
The first time it will cost you three
cents, the second time fifty dollars.
Persecution often does in this life
what the last day will do completely
-seperate the wheat from the tares.
Mrs. Croly says that she has got
through trying to pound it into the
brains of men that women ought to
vote.
A merchant OF Terre Haute direct
abraham Brown, justis OF the
piece"
Over one hundred barrels of cotton
seed oil are manufactured daily in
Memphis, which is worth more than
81, $40.
Clinton, Wisconsin, has lady art
ist who paints pictures with her eyes
blindfolded aud one hand tied be-
hind her.
The Baptists hayn 16 churches in
the District of Columbia, valued al
s273, 900. furnishing sittings for g.
755 people.
Considerable activity prevails at
Long Branch, and preparations for
the ensuing season have already
commenced.
Two hundred wild turkeys were
captured in a single days hunt, re-
Gently, by some of the soldiers al
Fort Larned.
The United States is the only
nation with coin known as the
eagle. No coin of the same value is
in existence elswhere.
The New York Court House has
settled six inches since constructed,
but some of the old officers haven'i
settled for three years.
tCan you name the four seasonse'
asked school visitor of class thai
was on exhibition. "Yes, SIR" said
a bright looking little boy. "Whai
are they, my little MANI" "Salt
pepper, vinegar and mustard" was
the reply.
A little girl was one day reading
the history of Englandswith her gov.
erness, and coming to the statement
that Henry I never laughed after the
death of his son, she looked up and
said: "What did he do when be was
tickled."
One of chubby class of four-yeal
old Sunday-school scholars, wher
talked to by his teacher about the
sins and frailties Of the body, was
asked, ''Well, my son, what have
you besides this sinful body?" Quicl
ss thought the little fellow respond
ed, GA team shirt and a nice new
pair of breeches."
A little girl who was visiting tb,
family of a neighbor heard then
speak of her father as a widower; and
on her return home, said: "Pa, ar,
you a widower?" Eyes, my child
Don't you know your mother i
dead?" why, yes, I know tba