The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-01-31
HUMOROUS.
frames-Prison windows.

|
Natures tailoring-A potato patch
In tents excitement-Panic in 6
circus. ,l
Pies that suit the Celestials-Pur
pies.
| People who sell hay do business OIL
"large scale"
When a mans necktie is united,
how untidy he looks!
1t is not considered civil to ask a
milkman for piece of chalk.
l2g-" Doctor, is tight-lacing injurious ?''
Of corset is, madame"
Why is the letter Y like young
lady? Because it makes pa pay.
The worst kind of education-To
be brought up by policeman.
| "A kangaroo is a curious chap; when
it's awake its leaping.
The Penix was raised in hot bed,
and that's what made him soar.
A blacksmith can not only shoe a
] horse himself, but he can make horse
shoe. sE ~ ,l-. r.- Es.
| 1t is strange that so much coal
should be found when it is constantly
sought !" in vein"
& In what case is it absolutely impos-
sible to be slow and sure? In the case
of watch.
=" The Pacific Slope The Quaker
Peace Commissioners running from the
Indians.
-"Do you believe, sir, that the dead
ever walk after death ?" "No doubt
l. +
March"
When Jonah's fellow-passenger
pitched him overheard they evidently
regarded him as neither prophet nor
loss.
Does it not seem to be strange that
the public should find their coal more
when the owners 14ave all agreed to
coalesce?
1t is strange that when a man does
not desire to give up building whose
lease has run out, "he releases it if he
can"
When naughty little boy breaks a
window, he should be punished on the
the principle that panes and penalties
go together.
-" Meet me at the gate, love-" has
been changed to "meet me at the CRATE,
love-" The cool weather has necessi-
tated the change.
This is the affecting epitaph on
deceased Rock Island Captains tomb
stone: "Hes done a'catching cod, and
gone to meet his God"
Husband, don't know where that
boy got his bad temper / am sure,
not from me-" "NO, my dear, for 1
don't find that you have lost any,"
"A New York minister, preaching
the funeral sermon of famous skater,
the other day, said he had "gone where
there is no ice." That was capable of
very serious Interpretation.
The reason an urchin gave for be-
the boy in the next house was going to
have dressing-down with a BEDFORD,
and he waited to hear him howl.
Sheridan, one day descanting on
the pedigree of his family, regretted
that they were no longer styled O'Sheri-
dan, as formerly. Indeed, father, re-
piled the son, think people ought to
o. us, for we owe everybody.
Lord John Russell was once accused
in the House of Commons of falling
back on the cant OF patriotism. Ihe
aecuser was a man who, having origi-
nally been liberal, had deserted his
party and turned tory, Russell, in the
course of his reply, cold1y said: 81 quite |
agree with the honorable baronet that |
the cant of patriotism is bad thing,
but hardly need remind him that |
there is something worse-the recant of |
patriotism.
A more or less worthy Scotch wife |
was demonstrated with by her minister
for the habit of beating her husband. |
She complained that her husbands con-
duct was not at all what it ought to be. |
The minister, recommending kindness
and forgiveness, enjoined her no more
to use her fists and nails, but to cheap
Goals of fire upon his head" "Weel,
minister" replied the now enlightened
wife, "since you sac, I'll try the Goals,
but / may tell We that twa or three
kettles O. boiling water hae wrocht nae