Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1873-08-19
BY WILL CARLETON.

Draw up the papers. lawyer, and make 'em good
and stout,
For things at home are crossways, and Betsey
and are out;
We who have worked together so long as man and
wife,
Must pull in single harness for the rest of our
nat'ral life.
"What is the matter7" say you, l swar, it's hard
10 tell!
Most of the years behind us we've passed by very
well;
l have nc other woman, she has 70 other man
Only we've lived together as long as sver We can.
And so l have talked with Betsey and Betsey has
talked with me,
And so we've agreed together that we can't never
agree;
OF that we've eatched eSc other in any terrible
We've been gathering this for years. a little at a
time.
There was stock Of temper we both had, for
start,
Although we never suspected 'twould take us two
apart:
+ had my various feelings. bred in the flesh and
bone,
And Betsey, like all good women, had temper of
her own.
The first thing I remember, whenever we disa-
greed,
Twas something concerning heaven-a difference
We arg'.d the thing at breakfast, We arged the
thing at tea;
And the more we arg'ed the question, the more
We didn't agree.
The next thing | remember was when we lost
COW,
She had kicked the bucket for certain, the ques-
tion was oniy-how7
| had my own opininion and Betsey another had,
Aud when we were done Il talkin, we both Of us
was mad.
And the next thing remember. It started in a
But fan for a week it lasted, and neither of Us
spoke;
And the next thing was when I scolded because
She broke bowl
She said was mean and stingy, and hadn't any
Soul.
And so that bowl kept pouring discussions in our
And so that blamed COW -critter was always accom-
And so the heaven we arg'ed no nearer to us got,
But 1t gave US a taste OF sOmethin' q thousand
times as hot.
And so the thing kept workin' and all in the self
same way,
Always sometiin' to arg'e and something sharp to
And down on us came the neighbors, couple %
dozen strong,
and there has been days together and many wea-
~ week
We was both Of us cross and spunky, and both
too proud to speak;
And have been thinkin' and thinkin, the whole
of the winter and fail,
II can't live kind with woman, why, then,
won't at all.
And so talked with Betsey, and betsey has talked
And we've agreed together that we can agree,
nd what's hers shall be hers, and what is mine
shall be mine,
And ri put it in the agreement and take it to her
tosIgn,
Write on the paper, lawyer-the very FIRST para
1f all the farm and live stock that she shall have
her half,
For she has helped to earn 1t, through many
and it's nothing more than justice that Betsey has
her pay.
five her the house and homestead-a man can
thrive and roam,
,ut women are skeery critters. unless they have
home;
Ind have always determined and never failed to |
say,
taken away.
here is a little hard money that's DRAWN tora- /
couple o hundred dollars, laid by for rainy
afe in hands of good men, and easy to get at
Put I'm another clause there and give her the hall
of that.
-es, see you smile, sir, at my giving her so
much,
les, divorce is cheap, sir, but take no stock in
such
rue and fair married her, when she was blithe
and young,
nd Beisey was always kind to me, exceptin' with
her tongue.
'nee when was young as You, and not so smart,
perhaps,
on me, she mittened lawyer and several other
nd all Of them was clustered and fairly taken
md for time was cotnted the luckiest man in
town.
md when once had fever-I won't forget 1t soon,
was as hot as roasted turkey and crazy as
loon;
lever an hour went by ne when she was out of
sight
he nursed me true and tender and stuck by me,
day and night.
md II ever house was tidy, and ever a kitchen
clean,
he house and kitchen was tidy as any ever seen;
md don't complain Of Betsey or any Of her acts,
.xeeptin' when we've quarreled aud told each
other facts.
o dray up the paper, LAWYER, and III go home to-
night.
md read the agreement to her and see if It's all
md then in the mornin' rnsell to tradin' man I
know,
nd IN kiss the child that was Ieft TO ms, and on,
in the world ri so. ]