The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-05-02
STORY OF A BACHELOR.

~ O46A VI II DEAShh1OLSs
There is no doubt in nv mind that
women were placed upon earth princi-
pally in order to cause unhappiness to
men; and this say both from observa-
ton and, to speak candidly, from sad
personal experience. Nor do things i'm
prove as one grows older; for, in my
opinion, first love, puppy love, or what
ever else you may choose to call it, is
disease much more easily cured than
that divine madness which sometimes
| seizes upon the masculine sex in later
years.
About three years ago, having discOv-
cred that an angel vision visited my
lonely pillow every night, and scarce
ever quite my side by day, even dur
ing business hours, upon a close exam
nation of my inner self concluded
that too had become a victim to that
! fell disease from which no man may live
| his allotted time upon earth in freedom
! In plain language found myself head
and ears in love with a delightful young
| girl of sixteen.
Moreover, finding myself already past
the sad Rubicon of thirty, and actuated
| by the mournful reflections above stated
| that to escape this universal disease is
impossible, and that when warded off
| until later years it becomes only the
more fatal gave way to the malady
which had seized upon me, and so far
from driving away the image which
dwelt continually with me, did all in
my powder to invite the celestial spirit,
and furthermore, deliberately made up
my mind to request the actual presence
of the fair original whenever the proper
time should arrive that is to say, when
ever she should have finished school.
Now this request, in imagination,
very easily made; but, somehow or
other, when it came to the bona fide
carrying out thereof, I found myself
suddenly so weak in the knees that had
[ not been seated I should certainly
have lost by balance and fallen to the
ground, and had not the sofa upon
which was accustomed to sit been a |
remarkably comfortable one I would |
have experienced a sensation of faint |
ness amounting to sea-sickness; and |
from this anyone may judge of the We
hemence of my emotions. Thanks, how |
ever, the comfortable sofa, and more, |
perhaps, to the resolution that [ would |
put matters off until next evening. I |
never actually either fell upon the |
floor nor tainted quite away.
The object of my worship, who on
these occasions was seated beside me, |
perceived nothing of these internal SEN
sations, save pallor which spread it.
self over my countenance, aud which |
from oft repetition became an habitual !
thing. This, however, only caused me
to appear poetical and interesting in the !
eyes of my beloved, thus causing the
roses to bloom more beautifully than |
ever upon her cheek, and her eyes to |
shine more brightly than they would |
otherwise have done.
The effect produced was electrical and |
mutual, and being thus prepared my
readers will not be astOnished to learn |
that one evening, the gas being lowered, /
on account of the mosquitoes, Lavinia's !
father and mother having gone to |
church, the younger children in bed, |
the servants in the kitchen, and there |
having been for some time no ring at |
the dOOr-bell, in consequence of this I
exquisite combination of circumstances. |
Lavinia and [ found ourselves, neither |
of us could tell how, our hands ciasped, !
the ice broken, the roses blooming with
astonishing brilliancv on both our
cheeks, and-if I should say more | !
would spoil what I have said. I only /
know that an instinct warned me of the
appr, ach of ten o'clock, at which time
her father and mother might be expect
ed to enter, and therefore | left her.
but not until I had imprinted one dear.
delicious, bashful kiss upon her lovely
lips.
How closely united in this life are the
romantic and practical Following
upon that evening came the next morn
ing, during the course of which found
myself closeted with the father, and
discoursing on stocks, bonds, real estate,
business prospects, and other kindred
matters, upon all of which was armed
to the teeth and fully prepared.
Thus the affair was settled, with but
one saving clause, which was that on
account of Lavinia's youth the grand
finale should be delayed for the space
of two years. Her father also made a
request of me, which thought a cruel
one, but being front the force of cir
cumstances in a submissive and yielding
frame of mind gave way. This was,
that in consideration of her youth 1
should not see my divinity for the space
of that time, during which her charac-
ter would acquire strength, and her
affection for me, if real, would only
increase.
Being a man of honor I determined
to keep my promise, and knowing this
to be impossible unless some impa ssa-
BILE barrier divided us, I resolved to
place the roaring ocean between ms,
and moved also by considerations of
gain, / went to China. Meantime |
waited with difficulty the rolling away
of the appointed two years, and calcu-
lating the time which would be con-
sum eddy the voyage, set sail, in or
der to arrive in New York by the ending
of my probation.
Passing over the long voyage, during
which fearful contest was waged be-
4ween sickness on the one hnad and de-
votion to my inamorata on the other,
and leaving in the background all the
varied little disagreeableness of land
ing, l will, together with my respected
self, transport my reader to the door
steps of the stately mansion which shell
tered the beloved of my soul.
lnasmuch as l had fingered on the
way in order to render nv toilet as ele-
giant as possible, the street lamps were
lighted up when finally reached nv
destination. Darkness was falling on
the earth, out through the surrounding
gloom my spirit scared aloft, sustained
by celestial visions-visions of NV
youthful charmer, all grace and inno-
cence, yielding gently to my impas-
stoned greeting. More beautiful than
ever was assured that she had grown,
and As to her constancy I doubted not
for g moment.
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