Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-04-06
JOSH BILLINGS SPICE.BOX.

L8Hng.
Anatomikally considered, laffiing IL the
sensashun of pheeling good all over and
showing it principally in one spot.
Morally considered, it liz the next best
thing to the 10 commandments.
Philosophilzally considered, it beats Her
rick's pills pills in the game.
Theoretically considered it kan outargy
all the logik in existence.
Analitikally considered, eny part oY it IL
equal tew the whole.
Konstitushionally considered, it liz yittles
and something tew drink. as
Multifariously considered, it IL Just az diff
ferent from ennything else as it il from
| itself.
dramatically considered, it haz a good
deal ov essenc and sum boldly.
Pyroteknikally considered, if liz the fire
works ov the soul.
Syllogistikslly considered, the konklu-
shuns alwaus follers the premises.
Spontaneously considered, it IL az natral
and refreshing az spring bi the roadside.
Phosphorescently considered, it lights up
like globe lantern.
Exsudashiously considered, it haz all the
dissolving propertys ov hot whiske punch.
But this IL too big talk for me; theze fiat
ulent words waz put into the Idickshionary
for those giants in knowledge tew use who
hav tew load a kannon kean up tew the
muzzle with powder and ball when they 90
out tew hunt pissmires.
| But don't intend this essa for lafing in
| the lump, but for laffiDg on the halfshell.
Lafing, liz az natral tew cum tew the
surface as rat IL tew cum out ov biz
hole when he wants tew.
You kant keepit back by swallowing eny
more than yu kan the heekups.
If man kant laff there liz sum mistake
in putting him together, and If he aoon't
lathe wants az much keeping away from
az bear-trap when it il sot.
l have seen people who LATED altogether
too much for their own good or for their
enyboddy else's; they laft like a barrel oy
nu skier with the tap pulled out, perfekt
stream.
This is great waste ov natral Juice.
l have seen other people who didn't laff
enuff tew give themself vent; they waz like
| barrel Ov nu slider too, that waz bunged
up tite, apt tew start hoop and leak all on
the sly.
Thare amt neither ov theze 2 ways
right, and they never ought tew be patent
| ed. .....---
Sum pholks hav got what IL kalled
| hoSs-latf, about half way between a growl
and below, just az horse duz when he
feels his oats, and don't exactly knows
what ails him.
Theze pholks don't enjoy laff emmy
more IAN the man doz bis vittles who
! swallows his pertatoze whole,
A latftew be nourishment wants teW be
well chewed.
|
Thsre IL another kind ov a laff which
never did enjoy, one loud busst, andthen eV-
eryttilg il az still az lager beer barrelafter
it hsz bowed up and slung..2 or 8 gallons ov
beer around loose.
Thare il another laff which have au-
nailed; it Gums out oV the mouth with
noize like pig makes when he IL in lite
spot, one sharp squeal and two snikkers,
and then dies in shipper.
This kind ov laff IL larnt at femail
boarding skools, and don't mean ennything;
it IL nothing more than the skin ov laff.
Genuine lat1ng is the vent oV the soul,
the nostrils oV the heart, and jist az neees-
sary for health aud happiness as spring wat
! er IL for trout.
Thare IL one kind of laff that always
| did recommend; it looks out ov the eye
fust with merry twinkle, then it kreeps
| down on is hands and knees and plays
around the mouth like moth around the
| blaze Nv handle, then it steals over into
| the dimples on the cheeks and rides around
III those little whlslpOols for while, then
| it lites up the whole face like the mello
| bloom on dsmask rozs, then it swims off
on the air with peal az clear and az happy
az dinner bel, and then it goes bak agin
on golden tiptoze like an ANGEL out for an
airing, and lays down its little bed ov vio-
lets i'll the heart where it cum from.
Thare IL another laff that nobody can
Withstand: it IL just az honest and noizy az
district skool let out to play. 1t shakes a.
man up from his toze tew his temples, it
doubles and twists him like whiskee phit,
it lifts him up oph from biz cheer like feath-
ers: and lets him back again like melted
led, it goes all through him like pickpock-
ct and finally leaves him az weak and az
kay az tho he had bin soaking all day in
a Rushing bath and forgot tew be too k
out.
This kind ov laff belongs tew jolly
good phellows who are az helthy az Dusk
ers, and who ara az easy tew pleaze az q gall
who is going tew be married tomorrow.
In conclusion say laffeyery good chance
yu kan git. but don't laff unless yu feel
Ike it, for there amt nothing in this world
more hearty than good, honest laff, nor
nothing more hollow than a heartless one
When Ju do laff open yure mouth wide
enuff for the noize tew git out without
squealing; thro yure he'd bak as tho yu waz
going tew be shaved, hold on tew yure false
hair with both hands, and then laff till
yure soul git thoroly rested.-Ne,o York
Weekly.