Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1873-12-20

Ven some mans slaps-
Shoulder, and says, Il vasAs-
hear yon vas so vel, und den site
behind nay back his fingers to hls.
nose, hef my opinion OF dat vel.
Ter.
There is an unfortunat, dispe-
sitioH ia man to attend much
moro 10 the faults of his compan-
ions which offend them, than to the
perfectiOns which please him.
4 sensible old lady was asked BY
a minisier visiting her if she had
religion. She replied, j have
slight touches OF IL occasionally,
Diogoncs hunted ID tho ia time
for an honest man, with q lanterns
If he had lived in theze times no
would have needed tbe hedlight ov
a locomotih--Josh Billings.
Tho reputation Of a man IS like
his shadow-it sometimes follows
and sometimes preccdes him. it IS
sometimes longer, and sometimcs
shorter, Than his nataral size.
A thrilling version Of the aWo-
man in White" is to be put on tho
stag c. Quiz says a woman in
white makes night hldcous for him
whenever he comes 10 bed with cold
feet.
A new leaf in tho family history.
Jack; Now I'll be papa going to tx
the furnace Fallie: 'Oh, yos.-
And I'll be the new nurse, aud you
must kiss me behind the cellar
door.
An exchange says; "a Sioux City
Justice of the Peace said to a couple
he was abont 10 marry: Hold up
your right hands; now, what do
you know about this case2' il
should be taken for granted that
they did not know much, il any
thing, about the case lust then
They merely wanted 10 know.
Twas an unhappy division that
has been made between faith and
work Though n my intellect
may divide them, just as in tho
candle l know there is both light
and heat, but yet pat out the can
die, and they are both gone; one
remains not without the other
So it is betwixt faith and works.
John Selden.
Some mems sermons are always
shortest. There is in this much
mystery, but the length of sermons
is in proportion to interest. Some
sermons arc long after twelve and
q half minutes; Others are short af.
ter one and half hours. Eterni-
ty, if it had an end, wouId be very
short in Paradise.-ToTnscnd.
sympathy says John Paul, is
something which never withhold
from those in trouble, whether
they happen to DO friend or not;
there's nothing mean. about me. l
find, too, that one can go around
shedding sympathy on all sides for
weeks al time, without spending
a cent, being at much personal in
convenience.
A correspondent suggests as
remedy for the nervous troubles
cngendered by two persons sleep
ing together, that q partition be
built lcngthwise of the bed. This
partition might be of boards hand
somcly painted and touched of
with few happy designs. But
it would be cheaper in tho long
run, we think, to build it of brick,
with marble facing aud o granite
cap. At the option of the owner of
the wall a layer of broken glass
could be spread on the top to pre-
vent any climbing over.
4 man who had recently been
elected a major Of militia, and who
was not cverburdened with brains,
look It into his head, on tho morn
ng Of parade, to exercise a little
BY himself. The field selected for
his purpose was his own apart
nent. Placing himself in a militia
y attitude, with his sword drawn,
le exclaimed: Attention, compa-
ly. Rear rank, three PAGES, march,
md he tumbled down into the Gel
ar. His wife hearing the racket,
,ame running in, saying, My dear,
nave you killed yourselfr 'GO
about your business, woman, said
he hero, what DO you know about
warp
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