The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1873-01-23
BHFgJGPtOusEy and FeIOH-
iOusLy.

Branch, w. r. York. I had got M
hat on, and had taken up my umbrel
ls, when q man came running int
the bank with bag Of money in hi
hand.
"Am lin time ?" he cried. shOol
my head.
''Deuce take it :" be said; "and I'm
of to Liverpool by the next train
and then to America
'Sorry for 1t, " said; "but we can
take the money"
"Well, then, what Is 10 be done
Here's twenty-five thousand pound:
In this bag, and those drafts o
mine come due in a couple of days
Well, yOu'H have to take 'em up" ht
said; II can't, unless you take the
( money IN tonight"
knew that those drafts were com
( ing due, and that cur manager was {
little anxious about them, for they
were rather heavy, and the othe
{ names on them were not very good
Black, too, THAT was the man will
the money bag)-Black was a custO
mer, and not only a good custome
/ himself, but he brought good accounts
with him, and we were a yOunl
! branch and on our mettle.
Well, here was the money TO meet
the drafts, anyhow, and I should have
been a great fool to send him away
Just because il was after-hours. So
counted it all over; there was abou
nineteen thousand in gold.
"COme and have a glass of beel
with me" said Black, "On the way Il
the station"
put the bag of money in my desk
and locked it up. l would come bach
presently, and have it placed in the
safe. walked to the station with
Black; we had some beer together
and then he went OFF America-ward,
and on the way to Metropolitan Vii.
las. You see, was rather in the
habit OF calling for glass of beer as
went home, and then going on; and
consequently, from the force of habit,
I'd almost got home before I remem-
bered the bag of money. It was veX-
ing, too, because we had a tea-party
that night, the first since our mar
riRge, andit began at six o'clock, and
I had promised 20 be home an hour
earlier, to draw the cOrks and get
things ready. And here it was six
O'Clock, and l had to go all the way
back to the bank.
All the way back went as hard as
1 could pslt. However, the money
was all right in my desk, and now I'd
put it in the safe. "Tell Mr.. Cousins
our manager, you knoW-I said tn
the servant who had let me in, "that
l want the key of the safe" But you
had IL in your pocket, say you; which
shows that you are not acquainted
with the rules and regulations of the
North and South OF England Bank,
which say that the accountant or
ehlef-cshier shall be responsible for
the due custody Of the cash whilst it
is In his possession in the daytime,
and that at night ali moneys and Sc
curities shall be. carefully secured
within the Office safe, which shall be
secured by two keys, one of which
shall be in the hands of the manager,
and the other, the second in the custO-
dy Of the accountant or cashier. But,
you say again, as long as you had one
Key, what did you did you want with
two There, l own, the regulations are
obscure. They were drawn up by
somebody without any literary skill I;
If they'd consulted me about 'em,
could have suggested good m any i'm
provements. What they meant to
say was that the safe was TO be secur-
ed by two locks, and that 4 key of
each, not interchangeable, the one
with the other, was to be in the GUS
todY, etc. Now you understand why
1 wanted ME Cousins key.
"Eh, my :" said the servant, OPEN
ing her mouth wide, ,"snd what might
you want Mr. Cousins key for 81
Just as stupid as you, you see. [ was
mad with the girl. / own / always
got out temper with those Yorkshire
people. If you ask them the simplest
question twice, they shut their
mouths and think for bit. Then the
idea seems to reach the thing that
does duty with 'em for brains, and
eXcites e sort of reflex action, for, by
jingOI instead of answering your
question they go and ask y0u one.
And that mikes me 40 mad. Oh
they're a very dense race, those York
shire people.
"Why TO Omen the safe, you stu
pid P'' said I. Where is he ?'
"Don't ye know, "eried she.
"Know?" l cried in q rage. "What
should l ask yOa for, If did know ?"
Didn't thou know he was at thy
bOuse?p
Ahl so he was. I'd nearly forgot
ten that he was one of the guests at
my Wife's party. Clearly, l couldn't
get the safe open, and / didn't like to
leave the money in my desk, so 1 put
it in my pocket and took it home,
thinking would give it to Cousins
with my key to put in the safe when
he returned.
A nice mess l got when / reached
home, for you see it had been arrang-
ed that was to go up stairs and dress
before anybody came, and that then
our room was to be made ready for
the ladies to take their bOnnets of In
for they were not all carriage peO-
pie. Well, you never saw such
thing! When got home and erept
up stairs TO dress-the people had all
come, so the servant said-there were
six muffs, and bonnets, and five pork
pie hats, and half dozen shawls on
the bed and one lady had left her
every day curls hanging over the look
ing-glsss. Upon my word, really
didn't like to perform my toilet
among all these feminine gear; and
there was no lock to the door; and
my dress-clothes were all smOthered
up among these muffs and things.
But 1 got through pretty well, and
had just got one of my legs into my
trousers, when bang-s-trop-dop-dop
such a rattle at the knocker, and I
heard my wife scuttling away into
the hail. They were the Marksbys,
our trump cards, who kept their own
carriage and everything grand.
$50 kind of you, dear ~ said nv
wife, kissing Mrs. Harksby most af-
fectionatelY; I could hear the reports
where I stood.
40 delighted Really, how nicely,
how beautifully you arrange every
thing l can't have things so nice
with all my servants and"
run upstairs, dear, do ~ said my
wife, "you know the room-my room,
right hand at the top Of the stairs"
! heard futter of female wings on
the stairs. What was I to dos If I
could have managed the other leg, l
wouldn't have minded, but I couldn't.
I hadn't worn those dress things for
good while, and I don't grow any
thinner as I grow older. No, for the
life Of me, I couldn't dispose of that
other leg at such short notice. What
could I do? I could only rush to the
door and set my back against il. Did
I tell you this was our house-warming
party! I think not. Did tell you
our landlord had altered the house for
us, making our bedroom larger by ad-
ding a slip that had formed a separate
room? I think not. And yet I
ought to have told you all these cir
cumstances, to enable you to under
stand the catastrophe that followed.
In a word, the door opened outwards.
I'd forgotten that peculiarity-never
having had q room so constituted be-
fore-and never will again. The door
went open with a crash, and I bound
cd backward into Mrs. Marksby's
arms. Smelling salts and sal volatile,
was there ever such an untOward af-
fair
Tum-tid itimity-tum-de-do The
music struck up for the dances as /
hoped back into my room. hid
ny head amongst the holsters and
HHHfs, and slnost sfied for Pm such