davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

A QUEER DELUsIoN.-Here is queer
story, the truth Of which is absolutely
guaranteed by one of the most respecta-
bic of Paris newspapers, LIE Temps. A
certain NJ. de 3. has long been insane.
He imagined himself a Chinese, wore
the costume of the Celestial Empire, and
spoke strange jargon invented BY him.
self, and which he seriously believed to
be pure Chinese. This was very in
offensive monomania. His family had
therefore taken no precautionary mea
sures further than that of preventing
Tim from going out. NJ. de. B. awoke
the other day covered with cold sweat,
declaring that the Emperor. Tehong.
Tcheou, had condemned him to impale-
ment. He asked 70 be left alone. When
at the end Of two hours, his friends re.
entered his room, be was found on
chair sitting bol2 upright, with his hair
standing Or end. Heavens, how suffer-"
gasped he; sit is going through and
through me-" A doctor was sent for,
and NJ. de B. was placed by force in
reclining position. "It is too late," be
cried, "the stake is broken in my body!"
and he expired under the full conviction
that he was actually impaled.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
The Biggest Lie He Ever
Heard.
THE LYING CHAMPIONSHIP AGAIN
THE PRESENT HOLDER OF THE
BEFT.

A dilapidated old hummer, much
given to sitting on an inverted po-
tato barrel which ornamented the
banquette of the grocery, was the
perennial spectacle which greeted
those who traVersed the main
street of P.
Not large town, P; rather
poor little town, busily engaged
in verifying the truth of the an
cient saying, "Facillis dsscensus
Averni," ETC., and meeting with
brilliant success in it's efforts.
As is customary in the case of
such towns, everybody knew eve
rybody else, and felt an interest in
his neighbor which verged on the
frightful. In these neglected re-
gions Mrs. Grundy reigned s9-
preme, and took grim cognizance
Of all things, from a marriage to
the number Of stockings on the
family line. Taking bis share in
the general distribution of privi-
leges, the hummer found that
share to consist in species of
reputation as a story-teller, and
an artist in the particular of crab
chowdor.
Properly primed with whiskey
and seated within the benignant
influence of the grocery fire place,
old cad" was "some." Especially
when some rival was present to
put him on his mettle and spur
the inspiration which, in these de-
clining days, was sometimes tar
dy.
"Old Ad." had his favorite seat
at the fire; the night was disa-
greeable; he had an appreciative
audience, and the proper amount
of "bald-head" had been admins
tered. Added to this a stranger
was present-a disgusting impos.
to- with a Texas hat and enor.
nous spurs, who wore buckskin
trousers, and had large and ugly
scar across bis face. This absurd
creature had been loa6ng- about
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

An Englishman and a German
were travelling together in a dill
gence, and both smoking. The
German did all in his power to
draw his companion into CONVEX
sation, but to no purpose. At one
moment he would with a supera-
bundance Of politeness. apologize
for drawing his attention to the
fact that the ashes Of his cigar had
fallen upon his waistcoat, or a
spark was endangering his neck
ercbief: At length the English
man exclaimed, "Why can't you
leave me alone? "Your coat tail
has been burning for the last ten
minutes, but l didn't bother you
about it."
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

HIS LAST CHAScE.-A man had
an unreasonable grudge against
his minister that lasted twenty
FIVE years. But at last the hand
Of death knocked at the door of
the parishioner, and he sent for
his pastor. The good man hastily
obeyed the summons with a asolemn
delight, as his being thus called
showed mellcwing Of the heart
ofthe dying man, which promised
reconciliation both with heaven
and himself.
"You sent for me?" he said, as
he approached the bedside.
YES" answered the dying man,
whose breath was short and diff
cult; II have but q few hours to
live, and sent-sent for you to
say that-tbat this is your last
your last chance to apologize!'
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
These are Spanish proverbs

These are Spanish proverbs:
Love, horse, and money will
carry q man through the world.
Three things kill a man: a hot sun,
supper, and trouble. TO shave an
ass is q waste Of lather. If the
gossip is not in her own house,
She is in somebody else's. Don't
speak i'll Of the year till it is over.
The mother-in-law forgets that
she was q daughter-in-law. Men
are as grateful for kind deeds as
the sea is when you fling into it
q cup Of water.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
-%O<

The Fairbanks, scale manufac-
turers, borrowed FIVE dollars to
make their first scale, and are now
worth 100000. 60 and bor-
row FIVE dollars, young man, and
pay a years subscription for the
Newberry HERALD.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
"Reminiscences Of a Famous
Actor.

a London paper: answering q
correspondent, rcvives the memo.
ry OF the once famous Joe Haines,
who died in l701. He is said to
have been a person of great face.
! tIousncss and readin ,ss Of wit,
! which, together with his inimita-
i'!c performances on the stage us
u comedian, introduced him not
I only TO the acquaintance, but the
familiarity Of persons Of the first
: rank. His forte seems to have
been in speaking prologues and
eplioSncS, particularly those writ
ten by himself: Anthony Aston
said: "Joc Haincs is more remar-
kable for the witty, though wick
cd pra"ks he played, and for his
prologues and epilogues than for
acting. lie was at first q dancer.
After he had made his tour of
France he narrowly escaped being
seized and Sent to the Bastile for
personating an English peer and
running 5000 livrcs in debt, but
happily landing at Dover he went
to London. However, this affair
spoiled Joc's expiring credit, for
next moroing a couple of bailiffs
seized him in an action of EGO as
the Bishop of Ely was passing by
in his coach. Quoth Joe to the
oailiffs: "Gentlemen, here is my
cousin, the Bishop of Ely, going
into his house; let me but speak to
him, and he'll pay the debt and
charges" The bailiffs thought
they might venture that, as they
were within three or four yards
Of him. So up goes Joe to the
coach, pulling off his hat, and got
close to it. The bishop ordered
the coach to stop, while Joe, close
to his ear, said softly: MY lord,
here are two poor men who have
such great scruples Of conscience
that l fear they'll hang them.
solves" VERY WE'LL" said the
bishop; so, calling to the bailiffs,
he said: "You two men come to
me tomorrow morning and III
satisfy you" The men bowed
and went away. Joe, hugying
himself with this device, also went
his way. In the morning, the
bailiffs, expecting the debt and
charges, repaired to the bishops.
SWELL" said he, "what are your
scruplcs Of conscience?"
"Scruples," said the baiIifs, we
have no scruples. We are bailiffs, |
my lord, who yesterday arrested
your cousin, Joe Haines, for e2O.
Your lordship promised to satisfy
US today, and we hope your lord
ship will be as good as your word"
The bishop, rejecting that his
honor and name would be exposed
II he complied not, paid tho debt
and charges. Quin told the follow
ing story of Haines: "In James
lis time, when Popcry was
road to preferment, he, among
others, protesscd himselfa convert,
and declared that the Virgin had
appeared to him. Lord Sutherland
sent for Haines, and asked him
about the truth Of his conversion,
and whether he had really seen
the Virgin. Eyes, my lord, I
assure you it is a fact" How
was it, pray?" "Why, as Twas
lying in my bed, the Virgin ap-
peared and said, "Arise, Joe."
"You lie, you rogue" said the earl;
''if it had been the Virgin she
would have said Joseph, if it had !
only been out of respect to her
husband"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

for the proper noting of your phe
nomena."
"But I won't die r' shouted
getting up. Ny limbs trembled
beneath me; felt the very chills
of death upon me. II won't, ]
WON'T" Here l screamed, "Send
for a doctor-for policemen
| Quick Quick! I'm poisoned r'
All the lethargic men jumped to
their feet, the walters came run
ming in, the proprietor appeared,
pale and wondering.
"I'm poisoned!" l shouted; "poi-
soned in the mint! Send for a
doctor, you fools do you hear?"
"Mad !" said quiet voice; "mad
as halter. Poor fellow! he's
subject to those fits. He'll fall
down directly look out tor him !"
"But I'm not going to have the
character Of the house taken away
for no mad freaks. What do you
mean, sir. by attacking the quail.
ty of my victuals, sir?"
"It vas he," I shouted, pointing
to my friend, "who now seeks to
screen himself by calling me mad.
But, good heavens! will you see
fellow.creature perish, perish, PER-
IsH?"
"Thore. don't aggravato him"
said my friend. "Put him into a
cab and send him to a police sta
ton he's sure to have been sd
vertised for"
was dragged and hustled from
the room, and hurled into o cab.
Two or throo policemen had come
up, and one took charge of me in
side, while another mounted the
box. I was quiet now, overcome
by my struggles, and lay exhaust
cd in the corner Of the cab, walt.
ing the insidious advances Of the
deadly narcotic.
Presently the cab stnpped.-
"We've got that chap they adver-
tised for" cried the man outside,
to a policeman who was lounging
at the door Of the police.station.
"The deuce you have !" said the
Inspector, coming up. "T ii e
you've done good job tonight.
There's fifty pounds offered now.
Take him right off to the asylum
at once. Let's have a look at HIM,
though. Why this amt the man
at all !; this amt Medhurst! Low,
you ought to have known better.
Red full mustache, dropping eye
lids, aquiline nose-wby they're
as different as light from dark
ness"
"What! is Medhnrst mad?"
said, light bursting in upon me.
"Yes; as he been playing any
Of his pranks upon you, sir -
making believe to give you poison,
or anythink Of that sort? Lord,
he's the cun9ipgest chap in crca.
tion, that MeThnrst. He's small
fortune to the police to bring him
back after his escapes. He's quite
'armless, too, though he's always
up to so many tricks. Quite .
gentleman, too. I've swallowed a
pint or more of his p'ison just to
please him, and then he'd stand q
bottle Of champagne afterward.-
That's how you had ought to have
served him, sir. There, you won't
get hold Of him tonight, chaps
he's miles away by this time"
I have never wished myself dead
since then.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
Fisk's Metallic Burial Cases,

THE SUBSCRIBER has constantly OF
hand fullassor,ment Of the above approved
cases, of different patterns. besides cofins
OF his own make, all of which he is prepared
to furnish at very reasonable rates, with
promptness and despatch.
Persons desirous of having cases sent BY
railroad will have them sent free of charge.
A Hearse is always On hand and will be
furnished at the rate Of SO per day.
Thankful for past patronage, the sub
scriber respectfully asks for continuation
of the same, and assures the public ths.
no effort on his part will be spare to render
the utmos: satisfaction.
&C. CHAPMAN
Newberry S. c., July 81.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

The longevity Of mankind kept
up we'll to near the food. After
this, it decreased with every gene
ration down to Joseph, who lived
to be only 10 years. From that
period to this, the age of man has
varied but little, though hut few
men attain to greater age than
three score and ten.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

A bad marriage is like an cleo
trio mackipe it makes you dance
and you can't let 90.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

Gravity is no more evidence OF
wisdom than paper collar is Of a
shirt.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
G.. M. HARRIS,

Cabinet Maker & Undertaken.
Has on hand and will make to order, Bed
s,eadS, Bureaus, Wardrobes, Safes, Sofas,
Settces, Lounges, &c.
Cabinet Work of all kinds made and re-
paired on liberal terms.
Has on hand full supply Of Metallic, Me-
hogany and Rosewood Burial Cases.
CofinS made 20 order at short notice, and
hearse supplied.
Oct9 40 If.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
ADVERTISING RATES.

Advertisements inserted at the rate Of 81. so
per Square--one irch-tor first insertion, and
- Tor each subsequent insertion. Double
column advertisements ten per cent on above.
Notices ofmeet;nSs, obituaries and tributes
advertisements
Special notices in local column 90 cents
ADVERTISEMENTS not marked with the num.
"sF " oi Insertions will be kept in till forbid
and charged accordingly. t''''O
spccia! contracts made with large adYer.
'S'i>' ":'" lioeral deductions on above rates
JOB ERE.vgXMG
Done with Nea,ness and Dispatch.
Terms Cash.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
From the Aldine, 70. January.
LOVE SONGS.

From the Aldine, 70. January.
LOVE SONGS.
IN THE STREET.
Like q breeze from a garden,
Made sweet with tie scent
Of the fresh blooming iilacs,
She came and she went;
Pure spirit and vision,
Felt rather :han known,
Faiu would have held her
And nude her mine own;
Blu, as the unconscious
Breeze blesSes and goes,
So went she, more blessing
And blest than she knows.
IN the GARDEN.
When lilscs were in blossom,
And all the air was sweet,
saw her standing tip toe
Upon a garder-seat;
One hand drew down the clusters,
The other bent a spray,
Held it little m mute
And let it slip away.
Lilscs, your life is heightened,
But you've missed the very best,
The best brief life of lying
And dying on her breast
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08

This Magazine is no@ en- DETERc'
tering on its sixth year, and .a.stS
is recon meEded as being the cheapest Musi-
cal publication in the world. 1t is issued on
the fifteenth Of each month, and contains in
every number at least Four Dollars worth Of
choice new Music, such as M5HSNRR
Songs, Duets, Choruses, sssSSaoFSs
Polkas, Waltze>, .Galops, Marches, Fantasies.
Four-Hand Pieces, etc, by such authors as
Einkel, Hays, Thomas, Danks, Strauss,
Stewart, Abr, Kucken, Wyman, etc., etc.
Peters Musical Monthly MHNTHlV
must be seen to be appre- "tOss saS1s
ciated, and as an inducement for you to test
its value, we offer to send the six numbers
July to December, 1S72-for One Dollar
Think of it! At least fifty pieces of choice
new Music for 81, and remember that you
can get
s4S Worth OF Music for 50,
BY subscribing to Peters Musical Monthly
for the year 1878. Single numbers sent, post
paid, for 80 cents. address,
J. L. PETERS,
500 Broadway, New York.
Nov. 20, 47-3m.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1873-01-08
PROFESSIONAL.

DR.. c. w. ABNEY
Offers his services to the community at
large. Office opposite Col. VIM. F. Sance's
residence, next door above A. r. Church,
formerly occupied by DR. T. W. Thompson,
deceased. July 81, 3l-tf.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08

TWEED. the infamous, still remains out.
side the walls of the pcntentiary. The
jury, in his case, did not agree-thrce of
them held cut To the last, aud the jury was
discharged by the court. 1t is said that
he will at once be put upon tr al again.
After which, should he be convicted or moi
a civil suit will be commenced to yet back
some Of the public treasure Of the city fall,
ing within his clutches without there hay
ins been any value received.
An explosion occurred at the Albion
print words, Conshohocken. last week, by
which girl named Rosa Ftzsiumons,
aged IA years, was killed. Richard Brehm,
aged 2o, foreman Of the cloth steaming de.
partment, severely injured, and Charles
Dipey, young man aged % years and
Bridget M'DermOtt, a girl of l5, were
slightly wounded. ....
SALT IN MICHIGAN In the Saginaw
salt resinn bed of pure salt has been
found underlying that now worked. Al
Cassville a bed of sall-rock has been struck
at depth of 100 feet, and at Alpena, at q
depth Of ll3O FROM the surface.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08


IN the proceedings of the Supreme Court
in another column, it will be seen that
Judgment was rendered against this Bo-
rough for interest on its subscription to
the building of the Court House, that be-
ing the only point made. This decision is
Of little importance compared with the
points that ought to have been taken up.
The question is whether this Borough
should pay more towards the erection of
county buildings than other portions of the
county. Ii the Court House was needed,
and it was proper to build it, and no one
ut this time will hardly question that fact,
then it was wrong that our citizens should
pay more than their fair quota, especially
as they were not consulted in the subscrip.
lion. If it was wrong to build it, the sub
scription by the town council would not
make it right nor Justify the imposition OF
additional taxes on our Borough. And
we have no doubt the Supreme Court
would so decide the question.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08
Total,

PERRY HAAS VS.. CoMMoNwEALTH.-
The writ of error in this case was argued
In the Supreme Court on Monday Of last
week. Perry Haas, it will be remembered,
was convicted of murder in the court of
oyer and terminer of this county in Octo-
Der 1871, when motion for new trial
was overruled. The case was then taken
to the Supreme Court, with six speciica.
tions of error for new trial, and is now
held under advisement. Messrs. Ziegler
and Sober for the prisoner, and Gen. Juo
h. Clement for the commonwealth. The
arguments on both sides were ably conduc.
ted. 1t is supposed by all who attended
the Supreme Court that new trial will
be granted.
We are gratifed to learn that our friend
W. A. Sober, Esq. ably acquitted himself on
this occasion and was heard with atten-
tion by the Supreme Bench. His argu-
meut was effective and to the point as we
learn from those who heard him.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08

Town CLoCK.--The Court House has n
fine town clock. Everybody knows that,
but everybody don't know that the county
pays for it, This we think very wrong.
Sunbury is our capital Town--her citizens
have the benefit of not only the fine ap-
pearance our Court House presents, but Of
the town clock almost exclusively. Why
then aftcr the county raid almost two
prices for the Court House, make the citi-
zens of the county pay for our town clock 7
We are ashamed of our people here, and of
such management. We have been told
that this Borough offered the pitiul sum
OF $4,000 and proposed to give that by taxa
ton, towards securing new Court House,
and then went to law 10 get out of paying
even that. 1t seems incredible, yet we are
assured it is a fact. No wonder capitalists
refuse to come to such place where such
a public spirit is evinced. We trust our
people will waken up to proper spirit,
and find that their true welfare consists in
more spirited liberal and 60 ahead po-
licy. Let Sunbury pay for her town clock
in the Court House steeple.--IHe Guard.
Very true Everybody don't know that
the county pays, for the town clock, al
though everybody who is anybody, knows
the contrary. Until we saw the above
stupid, not to say malignant article, We
had supposed that everybody in this vicin-
ity, possessing ordinary intelligence, knew
that the county never paid one dollar for
the purchase of the clock that now graces
the tower of the Court House. Moreover
we venture TO say there is not an unpred
judiced man in the county, capable of dis
eliminating between right and wrong, who
will not say that it was as much the duty
of the county to put clock in the tower,
as it was to put ornamental windows in
the building, or do twenty other things
that have been done about the court house
less useful than the clock. The tower was
designed and constructed for a clock and
the idea that il was the duty Of the Bor.
ough to furnish the clock, is rs novel as it
is ridiculous. If the turret of the new
Presbyterian church had been designed or
constructed for clock, the Borough, ac-
cording to the logic of this Solomon, would
have been obliged to furnish a clock.
We hardly need repeat, what we have
said dozen times, that Gen. Simon Cam.
eron contributed the funds for the clock,
excepting few hundred dollars extra con-
tributed by the Borough for glass dials.
The county paid nothing but the freight
and expenses of putting up the clock.
There is no town or township in the
county which has been less favored or
more unjustly treated by the Commission
ers Of the County generally, than Sunbury
And yet comparative stranger among us
presumes to dictate TO our citizens, and
critcise, if not malign, the actions and
conduct of our people. We are much mis-.
taken if ''our people do not waken up to a
proper spirit" and resent such impert.
nence.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08
1rn ADVERTISEMENTS.
COURT pRoCLAmAruON.-Not Not,c

COURT PROCLAMATION. - Notice
Is hereby given that the several Courts Of Com
mon Pleas. General Quarter Sessions ofthe Peace.
aud Orphans Court, Court Of Oyer and Terminer
aud General Jail Delivery, In aud fnrthe county
OF northumberland, will commence at the Court
House, In the borough Of Sunbury, at 10 O'Clock
A. NJ, on MONDAY, MARCH the 10th, next,
-a,,d~will continue two weeks. ----------
The Coroner, Justices of the Peace and Consta-
bles In and for the county Of Northumberland arc
requested to be then and there IN their proper
persons, with their rolls, records, inqusitons,
and other remembrances, TO do those things to
their several offices appertaining to be done. And
all witnesses prosecuting in behalf o. the Com
monwcalth against any prisoner, nrc requested
and commanded o be then and there attending
their proper persons to prosecute ngainst him
s shall be just-and not to depart without leave
Il their peril Jurors are rcqueeted tn be pune
ual in their attendance. at the Time appointed.
agreeably to their notices.
Given under my hand at Sunbury, the 9th day ot
February, In the year NJ our Lord one thousand
eight hundred and acventy-threc.
sAMUEL II. RoTHARMEL, Sheriff.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1873-02-08
NsD advertisements
Rule ON Heirs Of Valentine Ekias,
deceased.
GTATE OF PENNSYLVANIA 4 =,
NJ County ot Northumberland, -

STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA lss
~ County OF Northumberland,
To the Sheriifor said County GtetiiuV!
We command you that you notify Mary Klase,
widow of Valentine Knse, late OF the borough o.
Snydertown, county of northumberland, dcceas
ed, Catharne, now intcrmarricd with Abrani
Reiner, Eve, now intermarried with @. W. Lercii,
John Klase, William II. Klase, Lavina, inter-
married with Isaac Boughner. She il now de-
ceased leaving thu following children. Isabella
Boughner, T. 1. Boughner, Henrietta BouVhner,
Clara Boughuer and George Bonghner. Sarah
Ware, now intermdrried with Noah Ware. Va
lentine Klase, Hannah, now iutermarried with
Daniel Donbach, Susannah, now iniermarried
with George Adams. all hers aud legal reprcsen
tativee of valestiHe Klase late of the borough OF
Snydertown, Northumberland county, deceased.
that at the january Term, A. d. 1871, n rule was
gtanted upon them the said heirs and legal rep.
resentntlves of the said decedent commnndirp
them TO come forward and accept or refuse the
real estate Of said decedent at the valuation pu,
upon the same by an inquest, Issuing ou' Of this
Court, returnabie at the january Term of the
year 1878, or show cause why the same should
not be sold In case the said parties should neg
lcct or refuse To take and accept the same as
aforesaid, by the fret day Of next Term, viz, the
second Monday Of Match, A. D., 1873.
Witness the Honorable VIM. NJ. Rookie
RI O feller. President of our said Court, thi'
80 twenty.first day of January, A. D. eigh
teen hundred and seventy three.
J LEISENRING.
..-.- Clerk y. c.
Registers Otllce,