Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-07-14
SPRRAD.RAGLE.
nob RlIsy's Fourih Of lazy OfAtioH.


cred Himself OF Fourth OF July oration
at the elevator, on the evening Of that
day, 70 a crowded house, aud prom
ised iogiye the main points but Ia some
manner our shorthand Bohemian lost
his notes, aud 10 keep our word good We
have at considerable expense succeeded
in procuring Captain RS manuscript.
In the two.hours speech the orator
touched upon the national independ'
enee, as well as his own independence,
and drifted through politics, free love.
finances, the exploded combination and
other topics OF great moment, as will be
seen further on. After his audience were
well seated on flour barrels and corn
sacks, he mounted tobacco hogshead
and started in as follows: Where are we
now2 Whittier are we drifting, fellow
sinners3 These are momentous conun-
drums, which, in order TO get up an ex-
element worthy Of this great and glo-
rious Fourth, you all are expected TO
give up. The ignorant masses have
nothing TO do with conundrums, but must
listen while we, the leading minds, think
and elucidate. Where's the fun il every
body knows about everything; aud how
are we shining lights TO get an honest
living IL the masses know as much as we
do2 That is another conundrum, don't
it2 In all well regulated and well be-
haved countries like Arkansas, Memphis
and Bloody Island, wharfmasters don't
FIRE of borrowed cannons in honor
of the colored masses, and furthermore
the people look to the leading politicians
and the big Appeal and the ST. Louis
Republican for light, and If they knew
which side OF their butter their bread
was on what a vast industry and how
much talent and eloquence would re-
main undevelopedl That's no conun-
drum, but an unvarnished fact. Where
would my friend Dill be If he knew as
much as Grant did, and where would
Grant be IL everybody knew as much as
he did, Echo answers pherel and Sec
ondly where would pig-iron and pig-a-
minnies be if We all knew what Ben. But
Ter thinks he knows about precious met
ais, especially such as are mined about
New 0rleans? That's stumper, fellow
humans, and I'll give the Vicksburg's
left fan tail to the first man, woman or
child that answers it correctly. Again,
if everybody was good, and honest, and
pure, like your great city government,
wouldn't there be q big pile Of rocks
hauled down TO the levee, and wouldn't
it be repaired or would the hard earned
dollars paid by the steamboats, for wharf
age 20 to pay for fine houses and the
purchase of bonds, don't it? That's
another conundrum that Satan himself
cant answer. Applause But the great
questions of the day press upon US and
life is short; therefore let US live and let
live. What's the odds if the Aschor
Line didn't buy all the steamboats, from
st. Paul to New Orleans, and make one
big Anchor Line, bigger even
than my own seyenty-eight ton
anchor that now and forevermore will
grace your beautifully carved landing?
Who cares if that scheme was put up
by Democrat We don't and that is
their business. They can make their
ox.tail soup and other side dishes, and
have the "epizooty " in their stock all
they please, and the we'll behaved and
patient, dear people must stand still and
look on. A voice--'' Who will be the
next MayorG1 ] cant answer that
question conscientiously. But Honesty
won't-at least so the steamboatmen
saw. Gentlemen, your next otiice-hold-
ers-the wharfmaster Included must
stand upon platform larger than any
raft of driftwood ever yet collected
by the LEDGER, and | warn you all to
vote early and often at the next election,
else YOU are doomed to destruction.
Stick to your candidate, Don't believe
anything you hear, see or read unless 1t
comes from the party who will devote
fraction of the wharfage to repair the
eyee and remove the bluffs and stables.
Elect them and your city will be worth
ten million dollars year more than it
is now. The Improvements you now
have were made by the LEDGER and the
Anchor Line, and in my humble opinion
the best thing you can do is to elect the
Appeal Mayor and the Anchor Line
Treasurer. Thus fortified, you can but
win. There are heaps Of political mud
Ton the levee when it rains), and
ready hands to throw it. Wash your
banners .and fling them to the
breeze; don't mind the opposition. You
can fling more mud than they can wash
off. and in the end salve your heads and
win a glorious victory. Here noticing
a few ladies on the boiler deck of the
Vicksburg, the speechifyer thought he
would make point by changing his sab
iect, and did so az follows]: Fellow.fe-
males-The dyanimic diagnosis which
nav ocular sense yields to nay view just
now. as perpendicularize my aDatom-
zeal attributes upon the huge hogsbead
of terbacker, convinces me that the
cause of Free-love is just. Our basis of
assemblsge this day is love. To love
independence day is to love our nation,
and YOU cant love that without taking
in that part of the population that are
always called upon by the census-takers
but never allowed to vote-except in
Albany, and there it costs & hundred
dollars vote. say all women are
born free, aud arc equal TO any man on
the face of the earth, and have certain
inalieuable rights, among which are
tongue, divorce and the pursuit of con-
genial aiinities, whose copglomerate
essence is love, which, as it grows, ex-
pands largely, as does the multiform-
seeded sunaower swell to massive yellow
grandeur in the coagulate' blistering of
the solar orb's noon-tipe caloric just
outside of this huge elevator. 1t as
pbyxiates memory in an agony Of bliss
never to be washed away by the Mem
phis water.works and Wolf river water.
There's where the shoe is busted, my
hearers, and all that Congress or Ulysses
ever done wouldn't convince the Saint
Brigham that he was SO overloaded with
love that he could load the James How
ard with it, and then have enough left to
distribute in the hearts Of forty or fifty
Swedish maidens. Now, let us ask the