The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-06-28
A head Wind--a sneeze.
A corn extraotor-A crow.

!
A serious turn-Twisting ones neck
An application of powdered bluoing
will instantly relieve the sting of an in
sect.
Chicago real estate operator TO his
wife: :HttDo you love me, dear 2" She :
"Lots." kiss. "Do you love me ?"
He: "Corner Lots" Ssveral kisses ]
Al clergyman said the other day that
modern young ladies were not the
daughters of Shcm and Ham, but the
daughters of Hem and Sham.
An editor says his ancestors have been
in the habit Of living Ii undred years.
His opponent responds by saying "that
was before the introduction Of capita
punishment"
3 An English lady ate oysters all
through the month of August, when she
could get them, under the supposition
=. that there was an "r'' in that month.
,"Orgust' was the way she spelled it.
An editor asserts that his ancestors
have been in the habit Of living hun
dred years. His opponent responds by
saying that "that was before the intro
duction of capital punishment"
- A father in Massachusetts,, who grew
Impatient at the prolonged stay Of an
ardent admirer of his daughter, entered
the room and invited the young man to
remain to breakfast. The young man
i declined the invitation.
The other morning jenkins announced
the price of tickets in an advertisement
of his coming lecture, as follows; "Tick-
cts fifty cents. Children supplied at the
same rates" During the afternoon he
received orders for three and pair Of
swins.
A physician, on presenting his bill to
the executor Of the estate of deceased
patient, asked, "Do you wish to have
my bill sworn to?" NO." replied the
executor "the death of the decedcnt
is sufficient evidence that you attended
him Professionally"
A farmers daughter ont West re oceiv-
cd hairy poodle dog from friend in
New York. The uusophisticated dam
sel wrote back thanking her friend for
the present. and saying that she found
it very handy, whom tied to stick, to
clean windows with.
An Indian complaining to rumseller
that the price of his liquor was too high,
the latter, in justification, "said: That
it,cost as much TO keep a hogshead of
brandy ms to keep cow" "Maybe he
drink so much water" replied the Indian
"but he no eats so much hay"
81 am not used to begging" said
little girl to alady OF whom she had ask.
ed aims, because only two weeks ago
my pa was merchant "Why, how
could he be reduced to poverty SO soon ?"
"My father took bad swo dollar bill at
his peanut stand, and it ruined him."
sobbed the child
"Mcst extraordinary" said Sersea mt
Warren, the author of "T+n thousand
Year," who was always boasting of his
visits to great houses: Il dined at the
Duke Of Northumberland on Monday,
and there was no fish for dinner" ""No,"
cried Douglas Jerrold; "they had eaten
it up stairs"
=, "Ah" said old Mrs. Dooseubcrry,
"larnipg is a great thing, I've often
felt the need oft Will you believe it,
I'm now sixty years old, and 1 only know
the name of three months in the year;
aud them's spring, summer and au ,umn.
l larnt them when was little bit Of
gal !'
Josh Billings was asked, GLOW fast
does sound travel ?" His idea is tn II
It depends great deal upon the noise
you are talking about, "the sound of
dinner horn, for instance, travels half a
nile in q second while an invitation
tew cit up in the morning have known
to be 3 quarters Nv an hour goin up 2
pair of stairs, and then not have
strenghth enufe to be heard"
..s
The unjust charges of bankrupt off
GERS have at last attracted the attention
OF Virginia Judge. In the Eastern
District Court of Virginia an order has
been issued which provides that "po con :,