Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1873-07-05
Mark Twain's First Interview with
Artemus " ard.

T. Ihed never seen him before He brou gLt
letters Of introduction from mutual friends IN
San Francisco, and by invitation | breabfAsted
with him. 1t was almost religion, there n the
silver mines, to rreccdc such a meal with whis-
Ky cocktails. Artcmps, with the true cosmo-
poItan instinct, always deferred to the customs
of the country he was in, and so be ordered
three of those denominations. Kingston was
present. am match for nearly any tcver-
age you can mention except whisky cocktail,
and therefore | said would rather not drink
one. said i. would go right TO my head and
confuse me so that would be IL helpless
tangle in ten minutes. did not want to act
like a lunatic before strangers, but Artemus
gently insisted, and I drank the reasonable
mixture under protest, aud felt al! the time
that was doing tbipg that might be sorry
for. In a minute or two | began to imagine
that my ideas were couded waited in great
anxiety for the conversation 10 open, with a
sort Of vague hone that my understanding
would prove clear after all, and my misgiv-
ings prove groundless.
Artemus dropped an unimportant remark or
two, and then assumed a look Of supcrhuman
oarncstness, and made the following astound-
ing speech lie said
..Now, there is one thing ought to ask you
about before forget it. You have been here
at Silyerlaud-here in Neyada-two or three
years and, Of course, your position on the dai-
" press has made it necessary for you to 20
down in the mines aud examine them careful
ly in detail, auG therefore you know all about
the silver mining business. Now, what want
to get at isis, well the way deposits Of ore
arc made, you know. For instance. Now, as
| understand it, the vein which contains the
silver is saudwichel in between castings Of
granite, aud runs along the ground, and sticks
up Ike a curlstoue.
We'll, take a vein forty feet tlict, for exam
pie, or eighty, for that matter, or even hun
drcl~say YOU go down on it with a shaft;
straight down, you know, or with what you
call the 'iuclines, maybe you 90 down five
hundred feet, or maybe you don't 90 down but
two hundred feet, any way you 60 down. and
all the time this vein grows narrower, when the
castings come nearer or approach each other,
you may say that is when they DO approach,
which OF course they DO hot always do, partic-
ularly in cases where the nature Of the iorma-
ton is such that they stand apart wider than
they otherwise would, aud which geology has
failed 10 account for, although everything il
that science goes to prove that, all things be-
ins equal, it would if it did not, or would not
certainly + i. did, and theu Of course they are.
Do not you think its%
! said 10 myself "Now, just knew bow it
would be-taa. cusscd whisky cocktail has
done ,le business forme don't understand
any moro than a clam" And then | said
aloud, "I-I-that is-if you don't mind,
would you-woplI you say tha. over again ?
ought"
go, certainly, certainly You see am We
ry unfamiliar with the subject, and perhaps
don't present my case clearly, but L."
No. no-uo, uo--you state in plain enough,
but that vile cocktail has mudlled me little.
But | will-no, do understand, FOR that
matter; but would get the hang Of it all tue
better if you wen: over it asain-and I'll pay
better attention this time"
lie said "Why, what | was after was
this Here lie became even more fearfully
impressive than ever, and emphasized each par
ticular point by checking it of on his finger
ends. This vein, or lode, or ledge or what
eyer you call it, runs along between two layers
Of granite, JUS: the same as if it were a sand
wich. Very well. Now, suppose you go
down on that, say thousand feet, or maybe
twelve hundred, Dit don't really NATTER before
You DRIFT and then you start your drifts, some
Of them across the ledge, and others along the
length Of it, where the sulpburcts-I believe
they call them sulphurc.s, though why they
should, considering that, so .ar as can see, the
main dependence Of q miner does not so lie, rs
some suppose, Jct in which it canuot be sue
cessfully maintained wherein tie same should
not continue, while part aul parcel Of the same
orc not committed to either in the sense referred
to, whereas, under different circumstances, the
most experienced among rs could not detect it
ifit we're, or might overlook ifitdil, or scorn
the very idea Of such thing, even though it
were palpably demonstrated as such. Am !
uotright?"
! said sorrowfully; g. feel ashamed Of my
self, NIr. Ward. know l ought to under
stand YOU perfectly well, but yoa see tha. in
fcrual whisky cocktail las got into my head
and now cannot understand even the simplest
proposition. told you how it would be-
80, don: mind it, don't mind it the fauIt
was my o.gn, no doubt-tlough did think IL
clear enough for"
"Dout say a word. Clear! Why, You
stated it as clear as tie sun to anybody but an
abject IDIOT, but it's that confouudel cocktail
that has played :he mischief"
"No, nov dou't say that. III begin all
over again, and
uT.r. -... e. ,,,-1,,.5 g-L H., H.