The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1873-12-03

and beaten child? One pours with rain
anu the other roars with pain.
Man adsertises, then realizes.
An inebriate Irishman. on being kindly
questioned in very narrow lane across
which be was reeling. ns to the length Of
road he had travelled, replied Faith it's
not so much the length of it IS the breadth
Of it that tired me-
4 young man who knows all about ii
states that his experience has taught him
that ilirt il q fool, who delights in fooling
fools. and the fool who ID fooled BY such
fool is the foolishest kind ofa fool. He's
been fooled badly, we should Judge.
"A horse 4 horse my Kingdom for
horse' cried celebrated tragedisn.
Wouldn't jacsass do rs vell?' inquired
an affected young man. rising in his seat.
Yes triumphantly exclaimed the actor,
Just step up this way; SIR The young
man sat down.
In struggling to make 4 dull-brained
boy understand what conscience is, teach-
or finally asked.
What makes you feel uncomfortable
after you have done wrong2
Ny pap.'s big. leather strap feeling.
Is replied the boy.
| am a self-made ,'man; said native Of
Storipgtcn, the other day. to New York
gentleman. with whom he ha2 been drly-
ing sharp bargain. 9 lad to hear you
say so. responded tie New Yorker, who
had been worsted in the trade, for it re.
lieses the Lord Of great responsibility
Magistaate--. You mnst have been in
toxicated but the officer testiiies that you
were not so tipsy as not to know what you
were abont. Prisoner-..0. If had
known that was an objection, could have
taken another drink or two
4 negro once said In a prayer meeting:
Bredren. when was boy ! took q
hatchet and went into the woods. When /
found tree that was straight and big and
snlid. ! didn't touch that tree: but when |
found one leaning u littfe and holler inside.
| soon had him down. 60 when tie deb
bill goes after Christians, be don't touch
dem dat stsnd straight and true. but dem
that lean little arnd are holler inside
L is said Of Western editor that he is
fearful penman, the style Of bis hand be-
ins cross between twisted wire clothe.
line ia Virginia worm fence One editori.
al does for several days. the compositor de-
ciphering it from the head down the fr,t
day. then tail up the next. and crossw6,s
on Sunday.
Pa, said IN urchin 10 his father. whs,'s
the difference between an accident and !,
misiortune!' IT, replied the faths,.
General Grant we're to fall in FIFTY watrf
in the middle Of the Atlantic ocear.
that would be an accident, IL some eo.-
founded sool were to pull him out, that
woul oe misfortune.
4 spunky lady correspondent writes tbr !
she knows very little about the back pus
question but she is going to draw lrt
back hair up over bead according to III
prevailing fashion. il it lifts her of her
heels aud endangersFher equilibrium, ali,
she gould like to know what the newspl.
pcrs are going to doabout il.
A sea captain. invited to meet the com.
nisiec Of society for tie eynDgelizaticn of
Of Africa. when asked. Dn the subicc.
the King Of pahoiney keep Sunday. re-
piled. Yes. aud everything else thex en,,
lay their hand on. /"
A pekin, ILL.,. coroner's iury rendered !.
verdict that a nian whose body was fonnd
ia the river, came to his death by blow
on the head, which was given either be.
fore or after drowning.
Mr.. Smith Is boumi to have his Joke.
His wife walked nearly IN front Of 4 rail
read train the other day, aud he said that
ifshe had gone fstep farther his children
would have had a step-mo,her.
A Troy policeman swore AZ follows q.
gainst aprisoner: The prisoner set upon
me, calling me an ass, precious doIt,
ssirecrow. q ragamuflIn and idiot--all Of
which certify to he true.
An Irishman las defined nothing to bc
'afaotles stocking without legs A des-
cription by another Ememlder i better.
What i- noihingT lie was asked. shut
your eyes, and YOUR see It., said Pat.
An Irishman's will reads: 4 win and
bcqueath 10 my beloved wife Bridget all
nv property. withnnf reserve, and 10 NV
eldest sou Patrick one-ialf of the remsin-
der. and to Dennis. my youngest soa. H..
re.i, i anything is left, il niay &c TO Ts-
srtce siccarty
A professor ia espIsining 10 class ~
yeung ladies the thcory according to which
tha body isrutireiy sanewed every seven
years. said 4: Thus. Miss b.. in seven
Years you win IN reality be no longer Me,
b.. I really hope shsn't.' demursly
responded tho girl. casting dawn her eves