, 1873-03-23

| The only drrawba to this system ia that as il
nlne households out Of ton, no two members o1
| family belong to the same congregation, the
position OF g servant with decided views il not
! always comfortable. His master may be Broa.l
Church, his mistress Plymouth Sister, md the
young ladies Ritualists.
| HuMoR.
| What length ought ladys pctticoat to be
| 4 little above two feet
| "A Danbury young man out Of employment
| and health, desires to act substitute for some
| peneioner Of the var Of 1879. No objection to
| going into the country.
An exchange having said: '' The first robin
| has been seen, but ono robin doesn't make a
spring" the Auburn Bukletin rotorta: "Try him
| with q bug-and see."
,. ~ Yrs Day. Of spangdeld: H., lately gaze
| cr says Solomon was quite right when lie said
We do not know 3'what day may bring FORTH
There is at least one unhappy man in Com
uecticut. His wife, who has been dumb for
twelve years, has just recovered hor speech.
Imagine the poor mans condition when We say
sue Is making up for los: TINA! =.
What il the difference between the duties
OF valet and tho duties Of nuree Ihe frat
brushes ones hat, the otler bushes ones
brat.
Why is man who makes additions to false
rumor like one who has confidence in Ill tna. ia
told hin Because he relics Oh all that he
hears.
41lat IC CD41lGs tO llla uG4I1 from calling
Bill Jackson liar vas the recent verdict Of q
Cozoner's jury in Missouri
-A Danbury man says lie hes read of beggars
dying with stockings full Of silver. but tbs only
beggars he ever SAN. had real estate in theirs.
You've got the drop on me- as the criminal
On the scauold said to the Sheriff
When does the captain Of q vessel commit
solf-1nutilation When he goes on shore and
leaves his hands cn board
-Aanma-" And If poor Z2anna had not re-
c1TprH3- and IAI frpp1 her 1jt}ta
Goorgy forever, what would he have done:"
Little Georgy-''1 don't know, 2Ia. but guess
me an' Jimmy Gosgins would have gone akat-
iog!"
"A man living in Prospect street, near Jaw,
Brooklyn, wont home tho other night in bad
temper. HIS supper wasn't ready. What IN
thunSers Ito natter: he asked, though ''thun-
der wasn't tho word he used. ssThe fire isn't
as hos az your temper. nly 7o:r.' was tie reply.
ing. '~'
=" You seem to be- little hoarso, my love-
remarked Smslns to h;o Spouse when she had
COLD. " little horse, indeed" sho replied, mis-
liking the personal aIlusion. Better be that
than q big mule
A country youth inquired ct one Of our drug
stores for 10 cents worth Of love-powdere.n
something that wou1dnt stir her up much, but
make her dream OF him nights" Tho urbana
drugglst's clerk put up come nlagneEia, and ca,1-
toned tho purchaser not to give her too much
at time, but rather win her affection by de-
grees.
A {orknhireman went to consult one OF ths
most conscientious lawyers, nad, after stating Liz
case. said, "Now, sir, know you're lawyer,
but wIeh you would jus. please to tell mo the
truth about this nast.e-.''
.-RuIa1 papers severely condemn the conduct
OF the hens that a-o standing around barn-yaSd
doors doing nothing while egss are selling at 90
cents dozen," and suggest that, although
purely . lay question, it is one in which tho
clergy might well test tho efficacy of prayer.
-" What would you give, asked d conceited
posite to him at the rahlo, Ito be as Young aud
sprlghtly us I am: The old gentleman reflect
I'd d moment, npd then so]en1nly aaid, II dons
znow bnt what would be almost willing to Ia
Is foolish as you are
'and took her very best sheet to hang himself,
Then there al old clothes-line in the cellar
Fhlch was good enough for the purpose. She
ays ne was always extraTagant, aud Too lazy to
% into the cellar for anything.
"A sportsman WIS seated with his servant On
bank, conaoling himself under the fatigue and
Isappointment Of unsuccessful pursuit "Weu,
at, said ho, this is expensive work. I've
een calculating that every one Of these birds
as cost me above fifty pounds ::Faith, your
onor, said Pat, throwing dash OF humor into
DO sympathizinG simplicity of his reply, I'm
otry for that; but it's lucky taeEo's no more OF
bem."
An Akron (Ohio) cat. relying upoa his nine
II,
pine p to curve, and, with the 'banner-cty of
Ell " emanating from bis jaws, waded into
uzz-ssw in rapid motion. Tho cat was never
cen again, but the boss sawyer, who alwavs
1000 with his mouth open whilo at work, re-
'arked to his assistant that ho could taste
ddle-str,ngs and sausase-neat in the air that
lorninS."
"A solicitor, who had recently been engaged
prominent Gfa-lnzurance firm. returned to
10 office Of his employers the other day, and
'mplained that he had been enubbed hy a gen
enan on whom he had called. s'Snubbed.'
LED the manager, - enubbed? Why, what did
III 20 that he should hare snnbbed you? /
I've solicited life insurance from the Atlantic to
e mississippi, and have never yet been snuh-
II. have been kicked down stairs, beaten
;er the head with chairs, ard thrown out of the
ndow, but Anubbed never have been" Tbs
'llcltor is driving coal wagon.
A humorous individual was edifyinc an audi
zee with the old story Of the stump-epeaker
10 was onlarSlng upon the evils of national
bt; and concluded with this flight Of orator.:
te1low-c.tlzens, | am credibiy informed that
GO aeot OF @ Great Britain, at this present mo-
ID douars!" This was too too" much much
r, slightly elevated old gentleman
the crowd, who steadied himself against the
aates, VT and m proceeded to destroy the delusion:
sdihiy nst 11hr you say you man. The
.. ee...,e-.lnterest .,'e Of the debt. tell you, sir,
a. the asht Of Great Britain exceeds the-hic-
N OF naNely thousand dolIars!" It was useless
argue Win an cd gentleman who had proba-
oc0" 'nof0' ano va knew all about it.
oW Birds learn to Sihv md t.r,,d.
ON article, " Do Eir4a f,npyore in :r..t. o,,;Jd
fngt" in Popular Sc:tncc Monthly.
What ia instinct !: It ia t. the faculty Of per-
rming complex acts absolutely without instruc-
N or previously acquired knowledge" In
net, then, would enable animals to perform
acts which, in the case Of man,
cHupposes ratiocina.iou, logical train Of
ought. But, when we test the observed facts
lich are usually put forward to prove the power
instinct, it is found that they are seldom con-
asve. It was on such grounds that tho song
birds was taken to be innate, albeit very
.Jy experiment would have shown that it
mes from the education they receive. During
, last century Darlington brought up Bome
nets, taken from the nest, in company with
ks of sundry varieties, and found
It every one OF the linrets adopted
npletely tho song Of the master set over
n, so that now these lnnets-iarks by natural
company apart when placed
ong birds OF their own species Even tho
,htingalo, whose natiro sound is 30 sweet, ex-
ta, under domcstication, q considerable read
80 to initiate other singing birds. The song
the bud is, therefore, determined by its edu-
ion, and the same thing must be true as to
st-building- A bird brought up In . cage does
cOuHtruct tha neat pnry1pr RI its anecfeE.