The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1873-09-17


FoUR DEGREES OF DRUNKENNESS =
There is Rabbinical tradition that
whom Noah planted tho vine, Satan at.
tended and sacrificed sheep, a lion,
on ape and hog. These animals were
to symbolic the graduation of inebriety.
When man begins to drink, he is
meek and Innocent as lamb; then be.
comes bold US the lion; his courage is
soon transformed into the foolishness of
the ape; and at last he wallows in the
mire like the hog.
That "honesty is the best policy 7"
may be exemp!ified by the following
little incident: A man at Beimont, Mo. :,
sold to r mill owner o saw log, which
proved to be hollow. Az he sold it for
q sound log. he voluntarily went mud
gave back the price, and, hauling it to
his own yard, chopped it up for fire.
wood. In this operation he found ten
SO gold pieces which somebody had So
creted in it.
Few, if any, women huve passed
through as many adventures ns Mrs T.
"A. Pollard. The dunshter OF French
Count, abe came to Virginia (her futher
being driven away by political chicane-
ry.) She WAS married tn the celebrated
historian Of the "LDst Cause, and Mrs
Poilard's hair-breadth escapes would
make incidents for romance that
would thrill the very soul of Ned Bunt-
line or the dead Walworth
The lady who tapped her husband
gently with fan ut u party. the other
night. and said, ''Love, It's growing
late, think We had better go home, y
is the same ono who, after getting
home, shook the rolling pin under his
nose and said. "You Internal old
sconndrcl you, if you ever look at that
meau, nasty, calico faced, mackerel.
eyed thing that you looked at to o-night,
Iii bust your head wide open"
A negro in Mississippi delivered the
following remarkable and intAm matory
sentiments in public speech recently
1T ID war Of races aud one or the
other must 60 under. 1t happens that
you, not we, must succumb. We have
the numbers. and do not propose to
yield an inch. You may think this
Radical. half negro. half carpet-bug
mongrel government, as you call it, in
sufferable, but we shall make it more
and more intolerable for you"
30, ".gasped fat Mrs. Weghty as she
ascended the stairs of her new resi-.
ience, II really cannot run up any
more stairs 'Of course not" an.
swered her husband; "but if the stairs
were made of dress makers bills. you
could run them up very easily" II dc
detest puns," exclaimed Mrs. Weighty
the next dny, recounting the converse
ton to friend.
| Brigham has not so much feminine
gender attached to him as is generally
supposed. He is credited with thirty.
six. but has only thirty-two; and tht
man who supports thirty.two women,
when bonnets are S20 apiece and boots
Sc pair, aud divorces cost NIL the way
from 50 to 500. 900. according to circum
stances, may not be exactly u saint, bu,
he is something Of q Fellah.
PALACE SLEEPING CAns.-It appeared
in the examination Of witnesses made
by the United States Senate Transport
alton Committee, now in session in New
York. that the sleeping car company
furnish tho cars aud the attendanc,
upon them, and retain NIL collections
and tho railroad company considers it.
self romnnerated by the Accommodation
afforded to the travelling public.
Good drinking water is indeed rari
IS in Cowley County, Kansas. In th'
medical judgment Of DR.. J. NJ. Henry
Of ILLINOIS. recently on visit thereto
the water almost universally in use de
mands that one have "a copper-linc,
stomach and we'll wired intcstinrs j,
order to be successful drinkist."
Two young ladies' OF La Crosse wer,
standing by the side of ditch thir,eel
feet wide, which they didn't know how
to cross. when their escort snid
Snakes" and they cleared it at
bound.
y Canaiobarie man, who pail 1850 fo
his wife's molars being compliments,
on the "pearly" Appearance OF be
teeth, growled, scripturally, "Ycs :
pearls of great price.
An cnterprising chap, who is organic
ing brass band Of twenty women, say
that if they learn half as many airs u.
they put on, tho experiment viii prov,
complete SUCCESS.
Joseph Henderson, suing Cor divorc.
in Indiana, alleges that his wife trapped
him by means Of false hair, false eye
brows, false complexion, big bustl,
and deceitful tongue.
Jack Shepherd, OF San Francisco, ha
successfully accomplished the feat O
walking 1000 miles in 1000 consecu