St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-07-18
Wit and Humor.

N"uil You prefer. the waitress or the
cook -
Professor What are the Uses ofstarch
III termination Student rcciting ON
chcck.-In the German nation starch is
used very much the same us in this
country-in doing up linen and such
goods. Professor If you give another
such answer as that. | will show you
/ how they take the starch ont of stu
dents III the German nation.
john PhTniX tells the story that he
WAS one day leaving San Francisco 10y
! the steamer. Everybody was taking
leave OF friends hut he did not know
Il soul i'll the crowd. Ashamed of his
/ loneliness, as the boat Shcclcd off he
called out in loud voice .Gond-bvc.
Colonel =" and to his great delight.
every man on the wharf took oil his
hat and shouted Colonel, Goodbye -
! y Minnesota man who was fined SO
t"I cutting Oft an inch of his ncighhoI's :
/ pigs tail is anxious to know the price
/ for Il whole hog.
Another match broken up. This WAS
between clerk i'll Il DanbIrvtlry goods
store and Il young lady of that place
/ 1t was :" warm on Friday evening that
She had the paIlor window up and ne
stood on the lawn and he was iuSt
reaching up tor another kiss. when the
sash came down like flash. and Knocked
of the peak of his nose and Scalpcd his
chin. and he h"ppcd around 50 madIy
and howlcd 50 IrradtUllv that the old
gentleman th"ught ne wds drunk. and
had him kicked out of the yard with II
great deal of ostrntation. Monday
morning he went West.
At the depot Monday evening. I'm
eager looking man jumped from the
train and claspcd Il waiting woman in
his arms. .'EIcavens my wife" said
he. "\Icrcy my rutlleS." said she.
Which showed what both were think
ing of.
An inchiatcd drummer. probably
from Boston, went into Justice of the
Peace Smiths office. Monday afternoon.
Topped down upon lounge. and fell
into a deep sleep. At the end of
couple of hours he awoke. enquircd
what hoUsc is this ?'' insisted that he
had lodged there all night. and wanted
to pay the bill When Informed that
he was not III Il hotel. but before Il
:. nv S"," ~" -. IL" 'i"'
IT, wen "il''' me iii" was at
i'"N' minute nei"ie tie H4''lr" ~
'"ltI'" MS gray NY S"Iliciell'IH l" cor
Ir'''A tAl''i'i the Slt""'l"h' an" c"iltc'
the drunmers scattered senses. -OJ-
dcHsb"rg Journai.
An amusing incident occurred on
n''" a, ,'.i i'i'i'i ;'ii'il '''' "'rci
Hn"H', y Eti',',l''i' WIN '"lItl-"'G III
.'',ii'', ,'.in' 'I;"t!c" :he l''"ih '"oi''
: 't .'s'r az 'I''i',' vi e.l'li sue
""", " nv u ''i'i' '"' Id!
II i''S H"''' 'llT '"l' I" ihc
- ''o I''" 3 r'o;S Ti';S " E'"'l',l'''' Mi'ii d
own he hu,,ird nm tn the ri,,nr .a,
,.,. ..Sr,. her, sir puass ,o,, b,,.,
..... r,, I,,,,r.,%e :, NJ. ,IorI ,sI,.,,I
-. NJ -, -. oi,',,, ~, -,
NV ILL.,. ,'.',. L,,. ,,o, i...,,,-d',,.
,rnu, nm thrr," IIrv.,.' ',,,,it,7' i, ii.rI'tnj
when ne learned his mi.t,kr 81 ~
bo,. Ucsscy,,cy
hoo,i,',- ..,, r,.;...
visiting the East. finds occasional relief
hN having sand sulirtcd i'm his face and
down his lack with Il bellows.
D.,uI,u,.,. I,,,. u-o. -, a., ,,,,
I..ltIlrIa = nIn1IaI, trial Sntpp,l.,,-
nnnu vlr, his f,,In, ..,iI =, i,;,,'
How does thr Thermometer .tnnJ
Thumas ,. ..I'nuuimnu. fan, ,c,,,,;tt,i
ON the ground of ins,nit,. was tLn me-
rhauirai rrnIy
,
sem uti. lis first nn.t,I ,.,rJ tbn ,tI,,,,
d,y lf.r r.,;,;n,r ,,o...,,,o ~, H..
lack Lr in,In.nJ !, in ~, n,,,,Io,"
nm , tI,ron ,.,,,t st.,,,,, mi
!, ;,,t,, tI,,.,,,.,,,t,i,,, ,.t,,,I.
im, tL,t # m'.., ,.,.,.,, I.,,,I, ''', "'''in
inrut and shnuIJ b.,,, i,cor ;,t,,,,J,,'.,J
,-r,rs .,mn
-. .n
divine m,rLi,n ,,hinh rr"n,i.,,. =, Ln"
,r,r.f -n,.,.,,.. III, ,i,it f,iI f,n,,, H.
ION of 3, harm Iru,iyed hin, nf cn,,
.ci,u.,,,.. c,,, ,,,,I, L.,If ~, I,',,,. ',.I H.,
!. cnnGJ,,,t ,L,t | ,,I,a'' J." ,.',' ,''', '''n
,.,,o,,,,I ,''t, -, 'I.,I,,.', ',,' i',I Nv H.'
,,,,,''-,,,,,, tI,,,t t '''''' "Ili' "' ~,
his tinr ,.,n hn ,n.,tor;,II, rcJncod
nclr sam. says the st. Louis Dem
"ct"f. VIII Issue Il new silver dollar just
''> soon a> ne can get some silver and
prepare his dies. 1t VIII resemble the
nld silver dollar :" Tar as possessing
/itih' l. il'ilhuS' Nr. nut ,hr female
Nho was Wont L" Sii on the OLD dollar,
win ne 'niiaf n"iloh gone from hcl
rhrh'iN'' an" n"i"iiiG hrr hl@ht cap on
'"a'' P"''' VIII h"t tie seen on the new.
An Ohio br" keeper WAS Stumg on the
nose about fifty times the other day
while fnoling around his hive, and his
pugic Swcllcd 50 rapidly that he could
not hc taken into the house through
he door. and hole had to h" cut in
hc side of the building 10y which he