Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-05-22
Humorous.

SPNsTERs- Single old ladies who
never spin. 19s st4t1 7i@sS'i
WHY do bees like to come out ON a
bright summer day? Because it's honey
(sunny) weather.
WHAT is that which is full of knots,
which no one can unite, and in which
no one can tie another ? "A cord OF
wood.
A GERMAN friend, whose wife takes in
washing for their subsistence claims
that he earns his living by the sweat of
his vrow.
ENGLAND is celebrated for its fogs,
France for its frogs, Ireland for its bogs,
Canada for its dogs, Maine for its logs,
and Ohio for its hogs.
ssPRErTY bad under foot to-day" said
one citizen to another, as they met In
the street. st Yes, but it's fine over
head" responded the other. True
enough" said the first, " but then very
few are going that way" s5ass-f3i
A WOMAN out West interfered with her
brothers courtship, and begged him to
STAY at home evenings. He waited until
the evening when she expected her own
lover and complied, and she says that
fraternal affection is heartless mockery.
| A YOUNG LADY, wishing for situation,
was recently interested In an advertise
ment for some one to do "1ight houFe-
keeping" So she wrote to the adyer-
tiser asking where the lighthouse was,
and if there was any getting ashore on
Sundays. i 2as tta ~ sa4is ( -
| AN author says that he has known
ladies in whom the instinct of decoration
was SO strong that if they were told
they must be hanged in the presence of
20. 900 persons tomorrow, their first
| thought would be, Have I a proper
hanging dress@ lsFstpsa aosiR9 3.
"WHY are we led to infer that David
and Joshua were intemperate men? Be
cause David, when he went out to meet
Goliah on the field of honor, "took a
/ sling" and Joshua, previous to his at
tack on the walls of Jericho, "took o
horn" and gave regular blow.
| THIS is the way that a delighted Mich
igan stlocal' puts it ssBrighter days
are coming; just think of it. Blue
birds, dandeions, caravans, scissors
grinders, artichokes, violets and hand
organs will soon sing, shine, show,
sharpen. scent and shrek that spring
has come. @'s't 54ia.-
| "a GERMAN physiologist has discovered
that tobacco smoking by boys "lnter-
feres with the molecular changes CO.
incident with development of TISSUES,
and makes the blood corpuscles oval and
irregular on the edge. Any parent can
thus ascertain if boy smokes by merely
taking out handful of his blood cor
puscles and observing their edges
D0r6ary Nesos.
A HOP in your walk is a halt, but a
dance upon nothing is halter. A dea!
/ of gold may be plum, but a dealer OF
lead is plumber. You may sometimes
, put sauce into a cup, but you should
l always put cup into a saucer. You re
a fool if you're walker In pond ;
, you're a philosopher if you ponder IN
/ your walk. A cough makes you wheezy
, in the chest, but of the chest you can
{ easily make a Golfer. A steel, is what
9 makes blade sharp, but blade thai
: makes sharper is stealer.
THE NOSE.
: sTis very odd that poets should suppose = 50 ,
r There is no poetry about nose,
L When plain as is the nose upon your race, '
A noseless face would lack poetic grace.
G Noses have sympathy lover knows rs
1 Noses are always touched when lips are kissing,
s And who would care to kiss where nose was miss
: ing7
; And where would be our mortal means OF telling
i whether vile or wholesome odor hows
I | Around u.s. if we owned no sense of smelling?
/ know a nose, q nose no other knows, Fftf f
Meath starry eyes, DER ruby lips 1t grows;
Beauty is in its form, and music in its blows. i