davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06
Mark Twain'S Tribute to Woman.

At an annual banquet of the Washington
Correspondents Club the following toasts were
read
Woman-the Pride Of tie professions and
the jearel of ours.
TO which Mark Twain responded as follows
Human intelligence cannot estimate what
We owe to woman, sir She sews on buttons,
she ropes us in at the church fairs, she cOnhdes
in US, tells w whatever she can find out about
the private affairs of her neighbors, she gives
us a piece OF her mind sometimes. and some
times all of it. In all relations Of life, sir, it
is just and grateful tribute to say of her
"she is a brick ~
Where you place woman, sir, in whatever
position or estate, she is an ornament to the
place she occupies, and a treasure to the world.
Look at the woman of history Look at Des-
demone Look at Lucreta BOrgia Look
at mother Eve repeat sir, look at the il.
lustriOus names Of history Look at Elizabeth
Cady Stanton! Look at George Francis
Train And, sir, | say with bowed head and
the deepest veneratlOn, look at the mother OF
Washington She raised boy that could not
lie, because he never had chance. 1t might
have been different had he belonged to anews-
paper correspondents club.
Mark looked around placidly upon his ex.
cited audience, and resumed:
| repeat, sir, that in whatever position you
put a woman, she is an ornament to society,
and treasure to the world. AS sweet heart
she has few equals, and no superior. AS Q
wealthy grandmother with an incurable temper
she is gorgeous As wet nurse she has nc
equal among men. What, sir, would the peo.
pie of the earth be without women? They
would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce Ther
let US give her our support, our sympathy-our
| selves, If we get chance
But, jesting aside, Mr.. President, woman i
lovable, gracious, kind of heart, beautiful
worthy of respect, of all esteem, of all deter
ence No one here will refuse to drink hel
health right cordially, for each and every one o
us has personally known, loved and honOreC
the best of them all-his own mother.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

FANNY FERN says: One of the meanest
things a man can do, and it is not an uncOm.
mon occurrance, it is to monopoliEe the time
and attention Of young girl for year or
more without any definite object, and to the
exclusion Of any gentleman who, supposng
him to have matrimonial intentions, absent
themselves from her society. 1t prevents the
reception of eligible offers of marriage, and
fastens upon the young lady, when the ac-
quaintance is finally dissolved, the unenviable
and unmerted appellant Of ''Airt." Let all
your dealings with women, young men, be
frank, honest, aud noble. That many whose
education and position 10 like manner would
warrant our looking for better things are cul
pably criminal ON these points, is no excuse for
shortcomings. That woman is often injured or
wronged through her holest feeling, adds but
a blacker dye 10 your meanness. One rule is
always safe. Treat every woman you meet an
you would wish another man to treat your in
nocent and cOnfding sister.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

No USE OF ELoPING Now here is what
can be called sensible husband. He lives in
Athens, Georgia. Recently his wife got to
liking another fellow. The two made arrange
ments to elope, which the husband discovered.
He didn't get into passion, or try to commit
murder. lie went to his wife and said !:
''Look here there's no use Of your eloping. l
don't object to your going. Ill hitch up the
horse and take you to the railroad depot, and
I'll give you 5000 to start life with" He was
as good as his word, and did all in his power
to aid the couple in their speedy departure.
As he shook hands with the brevet husband,
he said "Old fellow, don't wish you any
worse luck than you'll get with that WOMAN
Be as happy as you can with her, and then
you won't think yourself in Paradise.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

The jokers are not all dead yet A Hamp.
shire wag put the following advertisement in
weekly paper: WHO wants to buy new milch
COW, that is in every way kind, only five years
old, and gives fifteen quarts of good milk to a
milking? Jack Rogers" The next week
Mr. Rogers received not less than fifty appica
cations through the paper for the cow, which
we're answered thus "If | hear of any such
COW will let you know Immediately Yours
truly, j. Rogers.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06
IGEyERAL SATuRE-No. iO3.I
TWENEKAL NATUHE--lNOs IV5'T
AN ACT for the relief OF the state OF Connecticut
States.

AN ACT for the relief OF the state Of Connecticut and Othe
States
Be enacted by the Senate and House Of Representatives
the United States Of America In Congress assembled Thai
the Secretary the Treasury be- and he hereby directed
ont apprOpOprated TO continue the settlement
OF presented under the act Of July
to the governor OF Con
neceu or his duly authorized agents. amounts ad
vaneed by the State payment Of ehapns extra surgeons
r employed BY said States In said eapaei
ties during the said claims TO be settled by h
officers Ot the treasury upon vouchers
SSG: Provided That certificates Of actual employment arr
&C. Thst hsn the vouchers Of other States payments
made to ehapain extra or assistant surseon
SIMILARLY with those Of Connecticut filed. tbs
shall adjust and settle them according
the provisions Of the foregoing section
Approved, March ., 1879
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06
Another clever gentleman has been deceived

Another clever gentleman has been deceived
by hydrants. While staggering homeward,
rejoicing under the influence of about 1000
drops of the oil of joy, he ran against a
hydrant. He happened to mistake the
hydrant for small colored boy. "Skuse me,
sonnie, said he, pattng the hydrant pater-
black. Grow up (hic) and be a useful man.
Initiate (hic) my example" And here he
laid quarter on its nozzle, and went on with a
lighter heart and the satisfaction that he had
made one poor soul happy.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Mark Twain says the steamer manage.
ment from Ostend to Dover, England, is the
meanest in the world. Noting the fact that
frstclass passengers are charged lbs 3D., and
dead bodies fl los. Sd. just doube-he says:
That is Belgian morals, | suppose, | never
say harsh thing unless am greatly stirred !;
but in my opinion the man who would take the
advantage Of dead person would do almost an
odious thing. publish this scandalous dis
elimination against the most helpless class
among us in order that people intending to die
abroad may come back by some other line"
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

They say that when the news of his mothers
death reached the Shah, he sent home the
ShahesSes, and declared that the royal grief
should be postponed until his return to Persia,
which reminds Kate Field of the Yankee
woman, who, upon being told at dinner of her
husbands death, exclaimed, Just wait until
I've done eating, and LII show you some tall
CRYING"
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A package containing $1,000 was left in the
'eading room Of Chic; 60 hotel for thirty
hours undisturbed, but it is only due to the
honesty of Chicago people to say that the
valuable package was mistaken by everybody
for an old shirt.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Conundrum from the Chicago Tribune:
''Why is it that lightning never strikes organ
grinders that they never fall into the river
aud get drowned, that they never starve to
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Mrs. Mary J. Hartwell, of Columbus, Ohio,
heard a voice say the other night: Your
brother William is dead" and she awoke the
old man with her screams. A letter came
next day from dayton announcing that her
brother was well and had paving contract.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

The latest method of spending the ''honey
moon" is reported from Italy. An American
recently met an old schooliellow whom he had
not seen for years "You hear?" "Yes, my
dear fellow; have just been married, and am
come to pass the honeymoon in Italy" "And
your wife?' MY wife? Oh, left her 10
New York "
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

That was touching experience of Boston
gentleman whose family had been abroad some
time. lie met them in Paris recently, and his
children speaking French only, he was obliged
to go to school to acquire the language, in
order to converse with his offspring.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A citizen of Connecticut, recently introduced
to a newly married man, congratulated him
warmly, and said: "Ah, these Litchfeld
county girls make clever wives; I've had three
of 'o,,,
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Bony Nash, the Cincinnati gambler, whose
death was recently recorded, was congratulated
a short time before the event upon looking in
better health than usual, when ne replied, al
bet you $50 don't live week" He won.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Mr.. John Owens, who lately died at
Jackson, aged ia, was in some respects a
remarkable man. He blushingly admitted
that he had used whisky since he was ten
years old, and had chewed tobacco and smoked.
more or less, for one hundred and three years.
but he never claimed that he had seen
Washington.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Twenty eight different kinds of ''bitters"
sold in Rhode Island for "strictly medical use
are undergoing analysis by the State chemist
from an excise point of view.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A Rochester man lay drunk in an alley all
night with $500 in his pocket 1t is only
necessary to add that the Rochester folks
Didn't know it.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A State fair is queen; an agricultural fair
is farmers daughter; church fair is par
sons wife soldiers fair is the best looking
girl he can get hold of; a charity fair is fe-
male pauper, and the most unpopular fair in
the universe is boarding house fare.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

THE FAMILY PILL B0x.-The surfeiting
we all undergo during this season of fruit
brings into action the family pill box. 1t is
little singular how much hunting has to be
done to find that box. The party who last
needed its services doesn't remember where he
left 1t, and doesn't care to think of it at all,
while he whose turn now occurs isn't exactly
tortured to death by anxiety We are not
quite sure but that there is faint hope down
somewhere in his breast that it may not be
found at all. He feels Jumps forming in his
throat as he peers among the bOttels aud boxes
which constitute the pharmacy at his house,
and when the box finally appears, and he feels
1t IN his hand, there is a sensation at the pit
OF his stomach as if somebody was trying to
turn that organ over with an old brass candle
stick. Some people swallow a dose of pills
without q Quelm, and afterwards go round
looking as proud and overbearing as a bow
whose father plays i'll a band, but the most Of
us are more delicately constituted, and count
ing out dose of pills while some one else gets
the water, and abserve that he doesn't see how
any one can swallow the awful things, is about
as serious an undertaking as can be found on
record. There is something too awful solemn
about it to describe. And it is little singu-
lar that while man can swallow whole whortle-
berries, cherry pits, and even buckshOt, with
out any uneasiness at ALL yet single pill will
catch in his throat, at u particular ticklish
spot, and hang there for hours, and make
faces at his stomach. And man in a fix like
that is not exactly the party we would select
to concoct notices for a festival. -DdnJurV
NeUS.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A traveller says that in Spain umbrellas
differ in size from an ordinary dinner-plate to
a small tent, and their colors are as various
as the tints of the rainbow.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Probably the most recent Americanism is
thac constructed by an Illinois paper, which says
that Edwin Booth will "tragediate" in q
certain town.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A Milwaukee boat club has adopted a light
uniform, described as a handkerchief around
the head and one suspender.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06
Efas THE IL
lADY's FRIEND
Wa hing M achine!

Il is said by many ladies that have them in use,
that they very truly named Amy person that has
useI the OOIy Machine eau use inns one without any
1ltculy; the process OF washing is much the same,
except that it washes much faster. II will wash about
double the qusnlIII Ot goods at a time. IL will wash
them quckei and cleaner; II only works ha u as hard
as the DOIy any other machine that takes in as
gre bulk OF goods at time. The family have
the capacity vi washing six sheets in three minutes
have washed. with The HUteI size eight sheets and
eight pillow cases IN three minutes IN public, by the
~aIch. all made OF luIerahy heavy goods What |
say OF am prepared 10 prove by practical demon
slraIOn whenever requIred 10 do 30.
It's believed hy many that clOhng washed in this
Machine will last about twice as long as if washed
on the WHShhOsrd.
The PrIct of this Machine is Reduced TO suit the
tim IS, from si5 TO Sl3 at factory, and freight
aIded if freighed All orders by mail promptly at
tended 10 Satisfaction is guaranteed in all cases
Any person not satisfied after using the Machien
moIths. aud giving Il aIr tr.al and have no other
save that I does not work satisfactorily. suc
one can TeIurA II, aud The mOney will be refunded
CERTIFICATES:
consider the Ladys Friend Washing Machine so
far TO the DoIy that my DOIv Machine laid
asIie and Is for sale half prICe Rev. DANIEL Sill.
CertifcGt's from Persons Lining in Smyrna, Del
would nOItake one hundred dollars Tor my Lady 8
Friend Washing Machine could not get anOthe one
OF the same kind. ID. HAMILTON.
| cannot now conceive how should be able to get
along without my Lady's Friend
Mas. DR. WIN. r. COLLINS.
would not part with my Lady's Friend hardly at
price, III could not get another of the kind
] have never seen any other kind oi a Washing Ma.
chime that would have. WIN. H. BAGGS.
My wife would dispose of any piece OF furniture in
Our house sooner than with her Iady's Friend Wash.
HRMaehine. --- DAVID II. SMITHERS,
Before got the Lady q Friend IT took four women
early all day to do the washing of my hotel hut
a hoy twelve years old can do the amount OF
washing by ten eleven Oclock. and we do the IRON.
ing the same day. CHAS. Z. FOXWELL.
sePl8ly
For further information apply to
ASA Z. WORDEN, Manufacturer,
Agents Wanted Smyrna. Del.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

Soup for the poor in Boston cost about
81 900 last year, and Refreshments" for the
poor city government SAL 900.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

A floating cannon.b ball is one of the sights at
Vienna. 1t weighs fifty pounds, and it floats
in a cauldron Of quicksilver.
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

THREE RICH MEN OF GoTHAM-AsToR,
STEWART AND VANDERBILT-Ihe New Yolk
correspondent of the Cincinnati Comnercial
writes: 1.-The three richest men III America
are VIM. b. Astor, A. Il. Stewart, and Com
modOre Vanderbilt, all residents of New York
city. AstOr's wealth is mainly in real estate
and its revenues; Vanderbilts is mainly in
railroad stocks and their dividends; Stewart s
IN goods, houses, stores, factories, land and
stocks. The aggregate wealth of each one of
them is supposed to be somewhere between
seventy five and hundred millions, which
looks rather heavy. Nobody knows exactly :;
they couldn' tell themselves within million
or two. Those who know most about their
affairs put their figures highest, and say that
the income tax returns of few years ago,
which showed each of them to be worth
between twenty and thirty millions, gave no
proper idea of their real wealth.
:. Astor lives unostentatiously Vanderbilt
lives In threc-stOry brick house on a third
class street; and Stewart lives in a marble
palace on Filth avenue, more magnificent than
any other resident on The American Continent,
and equalled by but few in any of the great
cities of Europe. Astor and Vanderbilt are
New Iork kers by birth; Stewart is native of
the north Of Ireland. AStor is a large,
heavy man OF seventy, with strong features
and rublcund face, Indicative OF high
living; Stewart is a medium sized man,
rather slender and tall, with a face
like parchment, and gives the impres,
sion of being hard-up; Vanderbilt is a tall,
slim, handsome, proud looking man of nearly
eighty, straight as an arrow. Astor has heirs
to his estate; Vanderbilt has children to whom
he can leave his fortune; but Stewart is child.
less. Astor's public benefactions are confined
to something like a couple of hundred thou
sand dollars, which he gave to the Astor
library, and the two golden candle sticks, nine
feet high, which he recently gave to Trinity
Church. Vanderbilt has never made any
public benefactiOns, excepting steamship to
the Government during the war, till very re.
Gently, when he gave a million of dollars for
educational purpOses-one half of this sum tC
found university in Tennessee, and the other
half to another educational institution. Stewart
has always had the reputation of being very
close tiisted; but he must be credited with hi,
million dollar Home for Women" which
will be completed next year. Astor is an in
dependent Methodist, and Stewart is said to be
inclined to think for himself Stewart is q
scholarly man; Vanderbilt is not. Astor j.
an accomplished man of the world"
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06

For further information apply to
ASA e. WORUEN, Manufacturer,
Agents Wanted SMYRNA DeI
Smyrna times., 1873-08-06
CERTIFICATES:

consider the Ladys Friend Washing Machine so
far suaeror TO the DOIy that my DOv Machine is laid
aside and Is for sale al half puCe Rev. DANIEL Sill.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23
State Agricultural Society.

AT the last session of the Legisla-
ture an act was passed authorizing
the organization of q State Agricul-
tural Society. We forget the exact
provisions of the law, but believe the
headquarters of the society were To-
Gated in the Western part of the State
in Storey county, perhaps. At all
events, we see by the Enterprise, of re-
cent date, that at a meeting of the
corporators, held in Virginia City, the
following offices were elected for the
ensuing year: President, 1. l.. Re-
qua Nice-President, Chauncev Der
by of Storey county: w. w. Met oy
of Lander county, and p. II. Clayton
of Douglas county Directors, w. II.
Chamberlain of Washoe county, j.
Winnie of Ormsby county, and W. S.
Wood Of Storey county Treasurer,
H. w. Putnam; Secretary. T. d.
Parkinson. The meeting adjourned
subject to tee call of the President.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23
The First Legislature Of California

In a California exchange We find
some reference to the early history of
that State, which may not prove un-
interesting to the readers OF the SEN
TINEL. The first Legislature was
elected on the 3Oth of November, 1s49,
and consisted of sixteen Senators and
thirty-six Assemblymen. The Legis-
lature met at San Jose on the 10th of
December following, and remained in
session until April %. The pay of
members was SIC per diem, and Sic
for every twenty miles travelled in
going from their residence to the cap
ital and returning. 1t was nearly five
months from the time Of the adjourn
ment of the Legislature before the
State VAS admitted into the Union.
The first election of United States
Senators took place on the goth of De.
cember, 1S49. On the first ballot each
member Of the Legislature voted for
two persons for Senator, it being re-
quired that a majority of all the votes
cast should be necessary to an cleo
ton. The first ballot stood: John c.
Fremont, %; William NJ. Gwin, %; II.
w. Halleck, u; L. j. Henley, IL;
Thomas Butler King, 10; John w.
Geary, 5; Robert Semple, 3. Fremont
was declared elected. In this list are
several names that in later years be-
came widely known throughout the
nation. Fremont was the first Repub-
lican candidate for President of the
United States. Halleck was one of
the most prominent and successful
commanders in the war of the rebel
lion. Gwin was for a brief season
Duke of Sonora" Geary was a sue
cessful general in the Union army,
and afterwards served two terms as
Governor of Pennsylvania. The third
ballot for Senator resulted in the cleo
ton of Gwin, he receiving "a votes.
Halleck Is, and there were 5 scatter.
ing. Fremont drew the short term,
and only served until March 4, 1851.
Gwin served until 1855.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23
Another Car Robbery,

The train from San Francisco which
passed Council Bluffs Monday night,
when within sixty-five miles of Des
Moines, Iowa, was stopped by six
masked men who proceeded to go
through the cars in the most APP
proved style of the art. They stopped
she train by removing a rail from the
track. They also fired at the engineer
who was killed by the turning over
of the engine. The passenger cars
appears to have been but little, if any
damaged. and the passengers were in
no way molested. On entering the
express car, however, the robbers
Kept up a continuous fire with navy
revolvers until they had cleaned it of
those in charge. They go: about 81
600 in coin for their trouble. After
completing the job, they mounted
their horses, and made off at a rapid
rate. Our repor. also contains the
cheering intelligence that the authori-
ties are in hot pursuit. Unless
these robbers are more successful
in evading the strong arm of the law
than their brethren at this end of the
line, their enterprise will not avail
them much. Full particulars of the
robbery can be seen among our tele-
graphic news.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23

THE CHINESE QUESTIoN.-On the
first page of to-day's SENTINEL will
be found a well-written communities.
ton on this important subject. In
the main the premises are correct,
though we cannot agree with our cor
respondent in all of his conclusions.
We are not quite willing to admit that
the Caucasian race is liable to suffer
from contact with any people on the
broad face of the earth. However,
the Pigtails are a nuisance, and the
sooner their immigration to these
shores is effectually stopped the bet
ter il will suit us.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23

Assembly, permitted journals to in
suit Ex.President Theirs with impun-
ity. He also exposed and denounced
the alliance between the Monarchists
and Bonapartists. After a seem of dis
order, a vote of confidence in the
Government was adopted by 400 ayes
to go nays This large majority on
the eve of a recess is regarded as
significant, and it Is contrasted with
the vote by which the present Gov
ernnent was called into being on the
oath day of May, when Theirs was
defeated by only II.
MEXICO.
CITY OF MEXICO, July 20, VIA.
HAVANA, July 81.
The yellow fever is spreading on
the gulf coast. The cholera has APP
peared in Vera Cruz
Elections are going on quietly
throughout the country. The Libe-
rails claim the election Of their candi-
dates for Judges of the Supreme
Cour. and Acknowledgement.
CUBA.
HAVANA, July q.
An official dispatch from Santiago
De Cuba announces a heavy engage
ment with the insurgents, but gives
no particulars.
There is a general want Of conf
dence among merchants. Exchange
and gold are rising daily, and the
merchants have no faith in the paper
currency. A commercial crisis seems
inevitable.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23

THE RICHEST MAN.-According to
English journals, the richest man in
the world is not a Rothschild but one
Ward, an owner of city real estate in
London, whose rental is said to be
1900, 900 per annum-about SIS, 900, 900
in Greenbacks. Ward has been a quiet
man, but it is said has the most mag
nifcent house in London, and the
finest collection of art. His wife dis
played diamonds at the recent festival
given by the Emperor of Austria, in
Vienna, which made the Expresses,
Queens and Princesses look poor.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1873-07-23
FRANCE.
VERSAILLES .TuIv

VERSAILLES, July %.
In the Assembly this afternoon,
Jules Favre attacked some policy of
b Government. He wanted to know
why the Government, which punish
ed with severity insulters Of the