Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-07
The Garden Hose,

The Garden Hose.
Ono more bright dream in life has col
lapsed for US; and another harp hangs
upon the willow" Only this isn't harp
bn, a hosea garden hose. We INDUCED
in sweet visions early in Spring, with re-
ference to keeping "the grounds" irriga.
ted with our own apparatus. "Let drought
come," we triumphantly exclaimed, we
shall hose every flower that thursteth.' y
We aodded quite extensively for US, and
reserved certain selected pots for floral
display-then we bought the hose. W.
found launching tho institution attended
with mechanical difficulty. Several expe-
ditions had to be made by express to
change the hose to fit our faucets. Then
the plumber had to come and utter the
faucets to fit the hose. In these expert.
mental moments we had occasion to study
the immense squirting capacity of wster
not properly regulated. 1t is astonishing
how soon you can deluge the kitchen, and
what aptitude there is for getting hit in
the eye, and all over yeur clothes, by
hayward leaks from q machine. Sci
ence triumphed at last, and the hose
worked to charm. 1t was a. tight az
drum-head, and played magnl6cently, and
We opened . vigorous sprinkling cam.
Paign. Two things we ascertained early,
that the feminine head Of the family con.
sidered it her prerogative to superintend
the Watering business, and getting wet
was foreordained part Of the transaction.
No matter how we'll your hose is jointed,
you will be drenched in the operation
this 10 a matter Of the "higher law"
From tho bay window we receive our
orders" don's play 80 hard on the yer.
benas;; "put more water on the vines -
"why don't you soak tho grass ~ "why
ON earth do you wet the paths ?" Finding
that we were not likely to do this thing
right anyhow, and being q little tired Of
playing second fiddle,O we retired from
active operation for few days and let
the boys take hand at it. If you want to
destroy tho serenity If I, neighhorhood,
the quickest way is to let boy work a
garden hose. In thu first place be wants
to water the street, TO the peril of travel
ers, instead Of combining his labors to the
inside of the fence. Then I'LL the other
boys within mile seem to know the tact,
and they swarm like flies around the
youthful representative of rain. Then a
struggle commencea Tho boy Of the
house lets bis companions have it in the
face; they rotaliate by stamping over the
flowers, and stepping on the hose to pre-.
vent tho flow Of water, and general row
ensues, only to be suppressed by Madame
in q majestic state Of indignation, who
finally succeeds 10 dispensing the rebels
and proudly bears away the insulted III.
strument to the back shed. We are in
formed, when We arrive home that all tn q
children Of the neighborhood loft oul
premises in condition Of immersion, and
"never while she lives is that hose to be
put again in the custody Of boysw When
We undertake to water tho next time, We
are .nervously conscious that our efforts
do not meet tho expectations of the presid.
ing angel Of tie household. She eau
STAND our incapacity no longer, and come.
out in . rural straw hat, and says: "lsl
me show you how to do it; men are %
awkward" She grasps the hose as a
woman 10 apt to grasp 4 pistol, as though
she was little afraid it might 20 of sud.
denly, and the nozzle, having limp, down.
ward tendency, 6res away very near her
tidy slipper. 'Mercyw she utters, and
rectfyins tho range with Il quick upward
movement. she takos the LADY in white
muslin, ringing tho bell at the next door
with perfect line shot," Dropping thu
hose, she begs pardon in the incest man,
ner, remarking that MIR. - has beer
using the hose and that it behaves shame.
fully" We sneak into tho house, with 9
weight on our minds, and At night We
dream that for some terrible offence w
have been sentenced 70 sprinkle the Desert
Of Sahara with garden hose. Suffering
under the scorching rays of tropica
sun, and alarmed at the appearance o
Arabs and bowling dervishes that dane,
around u, at the sight Of water we
shrek in our midnight agony. We ar,
awakened from our nightmare to be in
formed that we rade fuss and troubl,
enough during the day not to make th'
night hideous." Any one wishing to pro
cure u first. class garden hose, in per::ec
workinging order can buy one cheap o
US, on condition, they will exercise it il
another country.-After Dinner.
Reunion Ut the Fillmore Family.
A reunion Of the Fillmore family wa
held Mt the residence OF Calvin Z Fill
more, in the township of Scio, Mich.
on the 10th inst. OF the family tiy,
are now living and wcro present. viz.
Olive A. Johnson, aged seventy-fiy
years, living in Scio; Millarl Fillmore
aged seventy-three years, residing il
Buffalo, New York; Cyrus Fillmore
aged seventy-one, living at Orlantl
Ind; Calvin T. Fillmore, aged sixty
three years, and Julia Harris, age
sixty-one years. recently from Califo,
MIA. The ladies are both widows, an
all have families. The Ann ArbOr Reg
lister says all were IN good health, hal
and hearty, and to all appearances bad
fair to yet see many years of en- oymer
and happiness. Besides the abov
there were present eight or ten Others
and the gathering as a family aroun
the festive board was an OCCASION ,
JOY and happiness, not wholly III
mingled with sad memories. ;.
COLORADO TERRITORY is big enoug
to make thirteen states Us large !;
MassaohNsetts,