Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-21

an, ALL d-RWln0 1QUO the ArK-an.
d" And there was the hippotamus-
that great animal-ah, of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Mater
ah, what has great horn-ah, a-stick-
in right straight up out of his foreward-
ah, six feet long-ah, more or less, de-
pending somewhat on the length of it.
ah, all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the giraffe-ah, my
bretherin, that ill-contrived reptile of
which Goldsmith describes in his Ami
mated Mater '-ah, whose forelegs is
twenty-five feet long-ah, more or less-ah,
depending on the length of em-ah, and
top of a barn-ah, depending somewhat
on the hithe of the barn-ah, all
a-gwine into the Ark-ah. And the heav-
ems of the windows was opened-ah, and
the floods of the great deep kivered the
waters-ah and there was Hem, and
there was Sham, and there was Japheth-
ah, all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And therewas the zebra, my brethern-
ah, that b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l animal of which
Goldsmith describes in his Animated
Mater '-ah, which has three hundred
stripes runnin' right round his body
ah, more or less, depending somewhat
on the number of stripes-ah, and nary
| two stripes alike-ah, all a-gwine into
| the Ark-ah.
"And there was the anaconder-ah,
| that great sarpint of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Ma
ter'-ah, what can swallow six oxen at a
meal-ah, all a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
And the heavens of the windows was
opened-ah, and the floods of the great
deep kivered the waters-ah, and there
was Shem, and there was Ham, and
there was Japheth-ah, all a-gwine into
| the Ark-ah.
"And there was the lion, my breth-
ren-ah, what is the king of beasts, ac-
| cordin' to Scripter-ah, and who, as st.
Paul says-ah, prowls around of a night,
like a roarin' devil-ah, seekin' if he
can't catch somebody-ah, all a-gwine
into the Ark-ah.
s'And there was the antelope-ah, my
brethren, that frisky little critter-ah, of
which Goldsmith describes in his Ami
mated Mater ah, what jumped seventy
five foot straight up-ah, and twice that
distance down-ah, provided his legs will
take him that fur-ah, ALL a-gwine into
the Ark-ah. And the heavens of the
windows was opened-ah, and the floods
of the great deep hvered the waters-ah,
and there was Shem, and there was Ham,
and there was Japheth-ah, all a-gwine
into the Ark-ah.
just at this point he stopped speaking
few moments, wiped his forehead,
turned back his wristbands, ran his fin
gers through his hair, spit and rubbed
his boot in it, drank little water, COM
menced on a lower key, and proceeded
as follows
"But time would fail me, my brether-
in, to describe all the animals that went
into the Ark-ah. Your patience and my
strength would give out before I got
| 1o1 oh No 40
in, about the faith of Abraham and the
patience of Job-ah but it strikes me
they didn't go much ahead of old Noer-
ah. It tuck a right smart chance o.
both to gether up all that gopher-wood
and pitch and other truck for to build
that craft-ah. / am sort of carpenter
myself, and have some idee of the job
ah. But to hammer, and saw, and maui
and split away on this one thing hun
dred and twenty years-ah, an lookin,
for his pay in another world-ah-I tell
ye, my bretherin, if the Lord had a-sot
Job at that, it's my opinion he would
a-tuck his wife's advice inside OF fifty
years-ah. Besides, no doubt, his right
eous soul was vexed with the filthy com.
munications of the blasphemous set that
was always a-loferin' and saunterin
around-ah, a-pickin' up his tools an6
a-misplacin' 'em, and a-callin' him a1
old fool or something worse-ah I; and, te
) clap the climax, he was preacher, anC
had that ongodly gineration in his hands
every Sunday-ah. But the Lord stood
by him and seed him through the job-ah
and when everything was ready he didn'
send Noer out to scrimmage and scou
and hunt all over the wild world for tt
get up the critters and varmints that ht
wanted saved-ah. They all come to hi
hand of their own accord, and Noer onl,
had to head 'em in and fix 'em aroun(
in their places-ah. Then he gethereC
, up his own family, and the Lord shu
him in, and the heavens of the Window
, was opened-ah.
+ "But, my bretherin', Noer-ah hat
' use for patience after this-ah. Thinl
/ what time he must a-had a-feedin' an,
: a-waterin' and a-cleanin' out after SIGH
n crowd-ah. Some of 'em, accordin' t
e Goldsmith's Animated Mater '-ah, wa
4 carniverous, and wanted fresh meat-ah
and some was herbivorious, and wante
vegetable food-ah /; and some was worm
y ivorous, and swallowed live things whole
ah and he had to feed everything ae
q cordin' to its mater. Hence, we view
my brethren-ah, as the mater of the AM
r mails wasn't altered by going into tn
J. Ark-ah, some of them would roar, an
s howl, and bark, and bray, and squea
duo U1cdt, G1l0 WhO10
: a-drivin' sleep from his eyes and slun
e Der from his eyelets-ah, and at the frs
l. streak O. daylight the last hoof of 'e1
l. would set up noise accordin' to it's Ms
O ter<ah, and the bulls of Bashan wern
# nowhar-ah. I've often wondered ho
IL their women stood it. Scripter is siler
Is on this pint-ah but think I know
n some that would a-been vaporing an
IL nervous under sich circumstances al
IS and in an onguarded moment migl
o a-said somethin' beside their prayer
\. ah.
is Here the speaker stopped again, spi
d took water, ETC., and hastened to col
J. clusion:
"My bretherin," said he, zone mo-
Of word for old Noer-ah, and I will dra
le to close-ah After the outbeatin tin
lie he had, first and last, for SO many hui
I'd dred year-ah, if he did, by accident
to otherwise, take leetle too much vii
on one occasion-ah, think less ort
at a-been said about it-ah. Besides,
tn think he was entitled to one spree-a
h, as he made the wine himself, and, accor
lis in to Scripter, it makes glad the heart
ng man ah. Ny brethren, as it was in t
IL days of Noer-ah, so shall the coming
" the Son of Man be-ah. The world "