The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-04-17
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

sOmetnlng 10 drink, ana man when ne taxes
| too much.
There is one greater absurdity than that
of man aiming to know himself, and that is
for him to think he knows himself
- Almost every man wastes part of his life
in attempts to display qualities which he does
not possess, and to gain applause which he
cannot keep.
1t is true, all who drink intoxicating
liquors do not become common drunkards, and
it is equally true that all who 90 into the bat
tie field do not get killed; but they are all in
danger.
= A gentleman lately entered a shop in
which were books and various miscellaneous
articles for sale, and asked the shopman if he
had Goldsmith's Greece. NO." said he, "but
We have some splendid hair OIL"
AT Carlisle, Pa, week or two ago, suit
was tried which first begun in 1921, and the
original parties to which are long since dead.
1t is yet far from settlement, and may serve as
q shuttlecock for the lawyers for century to
come.
--"Your children may never have wealth."
observed neighboring clergyman to his con-
somthiug for them to boast that their fathers
were not members of the Forty-second Con-
gress."
A Georgia preacher, in translating the
sentence, 'The harvest is over, the season is
ended, and thy soul is not saved" put it, "De
corn has been cribbed, dere amt any more
work, and de debbil is still foolin' wild dis COM
munity."
- Massachusetts wonders at the rise of
Delaware millionaire who began his mercantile
career as poor boy, "by borrowing 81 and in
vesting it in apples" The thing that Massa-
chusetts can't understand is how any one could
be so imprudent as to lend 81 to poor boy
without good security for principal and inter-
est.
- The Boston Transcript Republican
journal, throws its soul into the following poet
ical sentiment so characteristic of that ancient
sheet: 'There was once a man, his name was
Schuyler, and he scalded himself in the Credit
Mobilier; he foundered about, but couldn't
get out, and that was the last of our virtuoue
smiler."
= It is reported that man in Cincinnati
fell from the top of four story building the
other day, to the stone sidewalk beneath, with
out being injured in the least. He was an
insurance agent, and struck on his cheek. at
the time of his fall he was leaning on the edge
of the roof, showing bis papers at painter
whom he had treed on swinging scaffold un-
derneata.
An old farmer noted for his eccentricities,
had hired man who somewhat resembled
himself and whose yagaries exhibited them
selves in ways most marked and unexpected.
Going to his barn one winter morning, the
farmer found his man had been before him,
and had taken halter and hung himself to a
large beam, and was already lifeless. Survey
ing the spectacle for moment the old man
burst out "Wall wonder what on earth
that critter will do next?"
= The Cleveland Herald makes these shock
ing remarks about the members Of the Ohio
Legislature: 'There are members of the
Legislature who spend more hours in Colum-
bus smoking, drinking and loafng than in their
official duties. When there is a call of the
House the Sergeant-at-Arms knows pretty well
where to find score of the members, and
these lazy legislative louts, with those who have
cleared the coop by going home, do not earn
the salt of their porridge."
We know not the author of the apothegm,
"Shrouds have no pockets" but its truth is so
palpable that it strikes terror into the heart of
the worldly man when he thinks of it. Not
land, not one single companion of my worldly
pleasures can I carry with me. Gold is not
the standard of value at the graves mouth,
and earthly possessions are not entailed for use
in the other world eve brought nothing inSo
this world, and it is certain we can carry moth
ing OUT" Lazarus and the millionaire are
alike penniless in the grave.
= The Kansas City Ne,rs furnishes volume
of melancholy history in the following brief
space: To-day there is man going about
the streets of this city, ragged, dirty, peuniless,
snbssting on free lunches and the charity of
gamblers, and has not slept in bed for months,
who, during the war, was one of the most dash
ing cavalry officers in the Union army, and
was promoted from the rank of first lieutenant
to full brigadier aud brevet major-general for
brilliant exploits on the field of battle, and
who for long time had large and important
command"
"A Galowstown lady recently requested
her husband tn 20 to the dress-maker and tell
her that she This wife) had changed her mind,
and would have the watered silk made up in
stead of the poplin, and that "if she thinks it
would look better with bias founces without
putting, and box plated below the equator,
which should be gathered in hemstitched gud-
geons up and down the seams, with gusset-
stitch between, she can make it up that way,
instead of huting the bobinet insertion and
piecing out with point applique, as l suggested
Yesterday" The man is now raving maniac.
- That was singular accident that hap
pened to mail agent in one of the Wes-
tern States Standing in the open door at the
side of his car, as the train rushed past small
station, rope, dangling from crane which
stood by the track, swung against him, whirled
about his neck, and he was jerked out of the
train in twinkling and landed on neighbor-
ing coal heap Yet he was not killed; his
injuries were not even serious, and he was all
right again in few days. But it was the
most like being hung and having the rope
break that that man ever experienced.
"A traveller stopped at a public house in
Maine for the purpose of getting, his dinner.
but received no answer Going to the other
side of the house, he found little whitehead
ed man in the embrace of his wife, who had
his head under her arm, while with the other
she was giving her little lord a pounding.
Wi Wishing to put an end to the fight our travel:
er knocked on the side of the house, and
cried out in loud voice: "Halloa, here! who