The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1873-12-11
MRS. JONES REVENGE!
By AN OLD coNTnrBUroR.

d AN Jill I'm lib
You women are always being
frightened about nothing" said Mr..
Jones, pocketing hiSlatch-key. "Why
don't you learn better. Is this the
first time 1 ever stayed out after
twelve O'Clock 2"
"No indeed, Charles" sobbed his
wife, :" "and every time you do it | am
almost beside myself with terror"
"Why don't you go to bed at eleven
as usual ?" asked Mr.. Jones.
"Bed! repeated Mrs. Jones.
stADd sleep until l come," said Mr..
Jones.
" "iSleep!" echoed the lady. "But
it's just the way with all men. Ma
had exactly the same thing to bear.
The fag-end of the evening is enough
for a wife. l remember when you
used to come courting, how pa was
often Obliged to let you know that
there was an hour for leaying. No
matter! l shouldn't care if you didn't,
only am so dreadfullX frightened"
"And why ~ said Mr.. Jones.
oh, DEAR" said Mrs. Jones, "why,
because all sorts of dreadful things
happen to people. They die sudden
Iy of heart disease. They are rlur-
dered. They are run over. They
choke to death in restaurants. They
mysteriously disappear with thou
sands in their pockets."@
E" shan't do that said Jones, in
parenthesis.
'' In fact, it's a world of accident,
unless the daily papers fib," continued
Mrs Jones, sand a body really lives
ten lives in one, worrying about peo-
pie. If you will stay out late why
don't you telegraph :"
''And frighten you into a fainting
fit. as l did once" said Mr.. Jones.
'fAh, dear me. my love, if you had
but little common sense, that COM
monest thing in the world, a telegram,
could not have given you such
alarm. Trouble has wings, my dear.
If am ever visited by any calamity
you'll know it before you begin to
worry. 1t is always So"
+" l believe l am always on the look
out for some accident" said Mrs. j.,
with sigh. sPerhaps my watch is
wrong. Half-past two, Charles.
"By Jove," said Charles. s'You see,
Brown had some fine wine that he had
bought at bargain, and his cousin,
from Boston-a splendid feIloW-was
down, and we just had game or two
of whist and q cigar, and the time
fiew."
How noiseless," quoted Mr.Jones
who was decidedly eXhilerated-"how
noiseless falls the foot of Time that
only treads on flowers. Mrs. Brown
and her two sisters sat down TO play
with us, and the fair one is the pref
test girl / ever saw"
'sAnd in cold sweat from terror
all the whileI" said Mrs. Jones, burst
ing into tears. "Mr. Jones, you are
perfectly coWardly."
dYou," said Mr.. Jones, guiding
himself up the stairs by the balustrade
" yOaG haven't strenofmindenuf."
Il believe you are tipsy," said Mrs.
Jones. This is the end"
Then she walked Indignantly into
the nursery. banged the door and
locked it, and was heard to sob hys-
tericalIy within the room.
Jones growing more careful of his
stepss repeated:
Not strenofmindenuf," and retired
in his boots.
He took tea instead of coffee for
UE6hkidHl HCAl anu WdS 81
i'll that Mrs. Jones forgave him-out-
wardly, at least.
There were few days of regular
Jones felt that he had gone too far at
last. Had Mrs. j. reproached him. he
would have rebelled. But after that
And one evening Mr.. Jones came
4. orliar than NTH fc
for the theater in his pocket. The
ISkav was fine one. A favorite star
IN0k the principal character. Mrs.
J0aes enjoyed such entertainments,
and he had bought her pair of new
kid gloves, pale lemon color; he felt
as yiEtpous as men usually do when
thew are attentive to the women who
have a night TO their attention. And
as he walked np the street he looked
up at the widow to see if she was
peeping out between the shutters to
look for him, bKt she was not there.
Neither did she Rnn to the door to
meet him. The only face he saw was
that of Biddy, the upstairs girl, who
was setting the table in the dining
room.
"Where's your mistress, Biddy I"
asked he.
sOut sur" replied Biddy.
"Be in soon, suppose 2" said MIR.
Jones.
"Dunno, sur" replied Biddy, van
ishing with the tray.
Mr.. Jones walked up to the nursery
The two-year-oIder, just out of his
bath, was being dressed by his nurse.
maid. Generally Mrs. Jones per-
formed this pleasant work herself.
"Where's mamma 2" said Mr.. Jones
again.
"'Deed it's quare she's not at home
tell yer pa" said Maggie. And
where she's gone at all, at all, DOM
| know"
"Singular," said Mr.. Jones.
He walked down to the street door
and stood looking down the street.
As he did so two men passed, talk.
ing to each other. He caught few
words.
Runaway team-killed fine look.
ing girl"
Suddenly he felt his heart flutter
He restrained an inclination to run
after the men and ask them what they
were speaking of. A picture Of his
| wife lying under the carriage wheels
flashed across his mind.
"Bah! what n fool l am" said he tC
himself; bat as the light grew lesi
and the streets more shadowy, he be
came more and more uneasy. Finally
he walked down to the corner anC