Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1873-09-11
Pickings and Stealings.

up corners will some day get up the spout.
"A woman's love for military officer
is generally uniform.
The softer the head the harder the
work of driving anything into it.
When is an umbrella like a person
convalescent? When 1t is recovered.
An Indianapolis woman LEFT her hus.
band on discovering that he was part
negro.
A Virginia lady, gathering berries,
was lately struck twice in the breast by a
rattlesnake, but thanks to toilet articles,
escaped harm.
A Detroit servant girl going down
cellar and losing her light was attacked by
rats. who were only driven Off when sew
eral persons came to her rescue.
Hello, Bill" cried a boot-black to
companion yesterday, "heard yer old dad
had broke his leg" "He did that" replied
the skinner" addressed, land wasn't il
bully for me, though? He was going to
whollop me that very night"
Mrs. A.-"Well, goodbye, dear. You
must come and see my new dresses from
Paris. one charming morning dress, among
others, quite simple, and only costing
siXty-seven guineas. Youll come won't
you? and tell me what you think Of it?"
Mrs. BIO, my dear, I'm no Judge Of
cheap clothing. YOU know
A Georgia bride is described in one Of
the local papers as looking very lily
Graded in the golden glimmer of some
evening lakc-a foam fleck. snowy. vet
sun-ilushed. browning the ripplinys OF
some soft Southern sea-"
Mr.. Josh Billings pnilosophically re-
marks that I'VE laff at sheep bekauze when
one OF them leads the way all the rest
follow, however ridikilus it may be; and
suppose the sheep laf when they see us
do the very same thing"
The other day an Irishman with
heavy trunk got into an omnibus, and sat
himself down, and held the box on his
knees. The conductor wanted to take 1t
from him; But" says Paddy, sure the
poor creatures OF horses have enough to
do to drag along without that. and III car
ry II mcSelf."
AT hotel n short time since. n girl In
quired of gentleman at the table if his
cup was out.
No said he, but my coffee is
Inc girl went away considerably con-
fused. but determined to pay him in his
own coin. While at dinner the stage drove
up, and several coming in, the gentleman
asked, Does the stage dine here
NO. sir" replied the girl, in a sarcastic
tone, but the passengers do"
A traveller, on his arrival at the city,
stopped for moment to examine a coat
hanging IN front OF clothing store, when
the proprietor rushed out and asked,
:" ouldnt you try on some coats?"
Il dunno but | would" responded the
traveller. consulting his time-kilier; and he
went in and began to work. No matter
how often he found his fit he called for
more coats, and after he had tried ON thirty
he looked ut his watch again resumed his
own garment, and walked of. saying Il
won't charge a cent for what I've DONE
Hang man who won't oblgc another
when he can do it. II I'm ever round this
way again, and you've got any more coats
An Irishman had dream which
taught him the danger OF delay. IL
dreamed,' said he, Il was wild the Pope,
who was as great a jintleman as any one
In the district, an he axed me wad drink.
Thinks |. wad q duck swim; an seem the
lnuishowen and lemons and sugar on the
sideboard, | towld him didn't care If
TUX wee drap of punch. 'Cowld Or not:
aIed the Pope. Hot, your holiness, : re-
plied an be that he stepped down to the
kitchen for the b'iln' water, but before he
got back woke straight up. An now it's
di,tressn' me didn't take it cowld"
A SHARP BoY.-A boy whose second
thought was better than his first sides in
Lawrence, Mass, and the american tells a
little story OF him in this wise: ''One wet
day, recently, 4 son OF Rev. l.. z. Cush-
man. while going up Jackson street, was
overtaken by man who said, 'Bub, will
you allow me to share your umbrella! 2
Yes, Sir said the boy. The man placed
himself beneath the umbrella, and the two
walked on together. BY and by the man
sad. sonny, there's five cents go and buy
yourself some candy. and I'll wait until
you return. The boy took the money and
went for the candy, leaving his umbrella
with the man. On his return he found the
man non est. After running around a little
while. he spied the thief. and followed him
down Common street, when he seized him
by the coat and demanded his umbrella
The man roughly ordered him away, say
Ing the umbrella was his but some SYM
pathizing persons who gathered around
lorcibly deprived the man of the umbrella
and restored it 10 the boy, who went home
rejoicing and informed his mother of the
occurrence. winding up by saving that he
had saved his umbrella and four cents. as
he had bought only one cents worth Of
candy"