The Portland daily press., 1873-11-19
The Obituary Department.
BY MAX ADELER.

y. Alfred Brimmer, editor and proprietor
OF The Morning Glory, having observed the
disposition of persons who have been bereav-
ed of their relatives to give expression to
might perhaps be good thing to introduce 10
his paper department OF obituary oetry. He
considered whether il when an individual in
serted fifty cents worth of death notice. the
establishment should contribute gratuitousIy
half-a-doilars worth of mortality stanzas, his
parer would not at once become the most
popular vehicle for the conveyance of that
popular form OF melancholy intelligence to
the public. And Mr.. Brimmer rightly esti
mated that, as most newspaper readers seem
to take deeper interest in such sepnlchral
news than in information of any other kind.
the journal containing the largest supply
would have the greatest number of suhscrib
ers. So Mr.. Brimmer determined thai he
would, as an experiment at any rate, engage
an obituar, poet for short tin e. with the
purpose to give him permanent employment
if the plan seemed to take with the public.
Accordingly he sent for Mr.. Remington OFT,
constructor of verses, who had frequently
contributed to the columns of The Morning
Glory poems of what would have been con-
sidered by fastidious student of English lit
erature an appalling and revolutionary char
acter. Mr.. Br miner soon effected an ar
rangemeDt with the bard. by which it was
agreed that Mr.. OFT should take position in
the office for short time, aud whenever a
seath office arrived he should Immediately
oe oef.1favor 20 grind out some verses expressive
oi tue Mutation.
''You anderstanu,~ Mr. Ot, exn,,;rod
Mr. Brinmer, .sthat When ttS Piasneu
individual is announced, Wa wa,e uea.m s.. .. an "a
were, to cheer the afflicted family Sill Tho
resources of your noble art. wish W yos s.e nc
throw yourself, you NAV say into their situa-
tion, and TO give them a verse or two about
the corpse which will seem to be the express
sion Of the emotion OF the hearts of the liv-
ing"
ITO tighten the gloom in certain sense,
suppose ?" said Mr. OFT.
Precisely! Tighten the gloom. Do not
mourn over III, departed; but rather take a
Joyous view of death, which, af.er all, Mr..
OFT, is. as it were. but the entrance to a bet
ter life. Therefore, 1 would advise you to
touch the heart-strings of the afflicted with
tender hand, and endeavor, for instance, to
divert their minds from contemplation OF the
horrors OF the tomb"
''Refrain from dependency, suppose, and
lift their thoughts to-
''Just so! And at the same time combine
elevating sentiment with such pract cal in
formation as YOU can obtain from fbe adver-
tisement Throw glamour of poesy. for in
stance, over the COMMONPLACE details of the
EVERYDAY life of the deceased Peonle are
fond of minute descriptions. Some facts
useful for this purpose NAV be obtained from
the man who brings the notice TO tbe Office
others YOU NAV readily supply from your i'm
agnatlon.'
"Pll throw off stauzas.p said Mr.. OFT. IN
such n. amer that people will want their
friends to die for the sake of the poetrv, ,,
"But above ALL" continued the editor
"take a bright view of the matter ALWAYS
Make the sunshine of smiles. as II were
burst through the tempest of tears. and 4
we don't make The Mornino Gloru HIM
around among the mourners of tbis town
INV name il not Rrimmer.,,
The next day Remington OFT went on du,v
and Brimmer ran down tO the seasbore TO- . !
breath of air. An through the 4 ,v death
notices came mourning in. and when one
would reach OFT. he would seize If and stndv
it up to ascertain the narticnlars Then he
would rush up stairs. lock himself in his
room, take down his rhyming dictionary, run
his fingers through his hair, and hack away
for half an hour at piece of paper until he
considered that he had that poetry in shape
which would make the stricken family teel
proud of the corpse. When his days work
was done, OFT went home with conviction
that The Morning GtOrg had finally robbed
Death of its terrOrs, and made life compare