The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-08-30
WIT AND WISDOM.


more time to business, and add to the profit
and reputation Of your work
THAT all who are happy are equally hap
py is not true. "A peasant aud phiiosO-
pher may be equally satisfied, but not equal
ly happy. Happiness consists IN the mul
tiplicity Of agreeable consciousness. A
peasant has not capacity for having equal
happiness with philosopher. This queS-
ton was very happily illustrated by the
Rev Robert Brown A small wine glass
and large one may be equally full, but the
large one holds more than the small
THERE is a clever lad in Blnghampton,
n. ", who will get his living IN this world
and no mistake For playing truant, ma
ternal authority cut off his supper. Casting
one fond look at the authoress Of his exist
ence, he paused at the door to say
Mother, am going to die, and Wnen
am no more, wish the doctor to cut me
open and look at my stca.ach.' The ma
ternal heart was filled with awful forebod-
ings and the maternal voice asked what
he meant. u wish it to be known that
died Of starvation" This was enough. The
small boy was triumphant, and retired t.
his little bed gorged tO tOrepletion.
'WHY do they call the people that live in
some of the South sea islands cannibals p
asked an old man Of a sailor Because
they live on other people, answered the
sailor Then, said the ola man, pensive-
ly, my sons-in-law must be cannibals, for
they live on me
Two men, disputing about the pronunci-
alton of the word either One saying it
was ss-ther, the other i-ther- agreed to
refer the matter 70 the first person they
met, who happened to be al lrishman,
who confounded both by declaring it's
nayther, for it's ayther
OLD Scotch lady Take a snuff. sir l''
Gentleman with large nasal promontory,
Indignantly Do look like snutfer p
Old Lady We'll, | Gamma jist say you
do, though naun say ye hae grand accom-
modation."
A LONELY fellow advertised IN a Chicago
paper for a wife, and intimates that he pre-
fers poor girl The Louisville Courier
Journal tells him To take the first one who
responds and he will be almost certain to
get poor one.
" Let 70 that jib-let ~ that jiu quick III
shouted the captain ~ a down east sloopto
a raw hand in a squall. - l amt touching
your old jib, replied Jonathan, indignant
ly, as he jammed his fists deeper into his
trOuserloOns-
PENNsYLNANIA preacher, while hold
ing services recently, gave thanks in fer
vent prayer for the prosperous condition
of their crops, excepting, ID Lord, the
corn, which is backward, and the oats,
which are mighty thin in spots
AN Irish gentleman ~ mechanical turn
took of his gas-meter to repair il himself,
and put it ON again up side down. At the
end Of the quarter il was proved with
arithmetical correctness that the gas com
pany owed him eight dollars and tfty-seven
cents
One Of the most striking features of a
mothers care and affection II putting black
patches on light-colored pants OF course,
you know better, but when you see boy
rlgged with two such patches, you can't
help but feel that he can See what tran
spires behind him without turning round.
IL print shop on William street. New
York, is a picture combining view ~
heaven and hell, with angels ana harps
soaring above, and an assortment Of very
unhappy demons howling below The
startling effect Of this singular combination
is enhanced by written notice tackled u
the frame, of "a basement to let "
THE rural editor of a Western paper has
discovered All insect that will destroy the
potato-bug. The new bug bores into the
potato and STR; really lays in wait for the
other bug The rerer's attention has
been directed to tins, "a the potato still
suffers, but he has yet made Nv response
He is supposed to be chasing after another
bug that will destroy the bug that destroys
the potato bug
A NAN in Whitehall kicked another man
and was arrested for So doing. When
brought before a Justice of the peace, he
informed his Honor that the man NV had
kicked was a lightning-rod man. The JUS
tlce at once discharged him with the re
marx THE man who wouldn't kick a
lightningr rod man wherever he finds one,
il unfit to enjoy the liberties fur which
Washington fought and Thomas Paine
wrote. That Justice had paid five hun
dred dollars for lightning rods on his house
last spring
A AIDDLE-AAED lady met a British look
ing lady in the post-office recently, and the
following conversation followed Mary.
is it true that your mother L. dead n asked
the former. " Il is. said Mary. " And
we're you married before she.iied r- '.No. 4
said Mary, mot until three davs after. \
The mIddle-aged woman stared az the bride
for moment and then slowly and bewil.
derlngly said DO you mean ID say that
your poor mother died without without
seeing what you were married in "
THEODORE HOOK once said to a man al
whose table a publisher got very tipsy
You appear To have emptied your vine
cellar into your bookseller
A RUSTIC moralist Rector going his
rounds-''An uncommonly tine pig. MI
Dibbles, declare Contemplating villa.
ger-"Ah, yes, sir, If We was only, all OF
US, as fit to die as HIM, SIR
CEREBRO- SPINAL -MENINGitis N a tnuyl
word for telegraphers to ge. hold II on tht
wires A Sioux City lightning ierkel
wrote It out " Carabo Spencer's Menage
RE
JOsH BILLINGS gives the following ad
vice to young men Don't be discour
aged # yer mustash don't grow. II sum
times happens that where a mustash du,
the best nothing else duz SO well "
ALL the subtle humorists are not IN
America. A writer IN the Pau Man Gazstt.
says that few persons, probably, as a rule
sleep sounder OF enjoy so much undis
turbed repose as night watchmen."
The Minneapolis Tribune becomes seri
Gus ''Oakes Ames' will reveals 81. "a
254. And yet he died Of disappointment
and chsgrin. Happier is honesty IL !
hickory shirt and an oilcloth cap than al
stimulation IN a plug hat and a shirt tha
buttons behind"
Look o'hea, Sam Johnsing \" 81,
Sambo; hearn de news n
" No, Sambow, | ha'n't what news r
Well, we had fine nacquisition int,
our domestic suckle las night