The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-09-04
The Family Letter.

The Family. Letter.
The family letter is written on Sun
days. The reason that dayiis selected
is not alone because of the leisure it
presents. The quiet of the day, its re-
lief from all influences that irritate or
agitate, frees the mind from irrelevant
and antagonistic matter, and makes it
pre-eminently a fit occasion for COM
muning with distant loved ones. In
nine cases ont of ten the letter is written
by the head of the family, and of those
sent an equal proportion are addressed
to his wife's folks. We don't know why
it is that man so rarely writes to his
own folks, but as it is not the province
of this article to treat on that subject,
we Will pretend we don't care.
The hour being selected for inditing
the letter, the first thing is to find the
paper. There is always drawer in
every welI-reguIated family for keeping
such things. It is either in the table or
stand. Here the writing paper and odd
screws, and fiddle-strings, and broken
locks, and fish-lines, and grocery re-
eeipts, are kept. There may be other
things, but if there are he Will see
them. The sheet of paper is finally
found i; the hy stains neatly scraped of,
and the search commences for the ink
and pen. The former is invariably
found on the mantel next the clock, and
is Immediately laid on the table con-
venient to the perspiring man, who sar-
castically inquiries if the letter is to be
written to-day or next Sunday. This
inspires the wife with new zeal in the
search. She goes over the drawer again
because she knows he wouldn't see any
thing if it was right under his nose, but
the pen is not there. Then she looks
over the top of the bureau, and lifts
everything on the front-room table, and
says it seems so singular it can't be
found, when she saw it only the day be-
fore. and thought about the letter. Then
she goes into the pantry, and, after ex-
ploring the lower shelf in vain, stands
upon chair, and carefully goes over
the top shelf where the medicine bot
ties and unused cans are stationed.
After she has done this, she starts up
stairs, and pretty soon returns with the
pen, and takes it to the sink to wash the
grease from it, but does not succeed In
quite effacing the delicate scent of ber-
gamot. This leads him to observe that
anybody. who takes pen-holder to lift
hair-grease from a bottle, is too pure
and innocent for this world.
Everything now in readiness, good
humor is restored, the wife takes seat
opposite, with her elbows on the table
and her chin in her hands, and assumes
an expression of countenance that is
nysteriously calculated to both en-
courage and depress the writer and he
grasps the pen tightly between his fin
gers, and stares at the paper with an
intensity that is entirely unnecessary.
The date line starts off glibly, and then
suddenly ceases as it reaches the date
itself. He puts the helder in his mouth,
and Immediately spits it out again,
making up a face that is no wise sug-
gestive of bergamot, and pettishly asks
n6I II bllG NnOhb bllO NAtAJ VI Vic 4AAO4A1AAs
OF course she does. It is the 13th-or
is it the-but not must be. She hesi-
tates, stares at him, wavers, and is lost.
She don't know whether it is the 18th
or 18th, but the almanac will tell, and
she at once starts to hunt it up. This
occasions a delay of some 10 minutes,
during which he makes 95 passes at one
fly.
The date having been satisfactorily
settled upon, and the things which
rolled over the floor, as the stand drawer
Unexpectedly fell out, having been re-
stored to their place, the date line is
completed, and "Dear Mother" started.
The pen is a home pen, of bashful
mould, and whenever it starts line it
requires half a dozen passes to make it
give down. All home pens do this.
And all home sheets of paper have weak
spots which the ink refuses to cross,
thus creating some remarkable divisions
of words, and considerable confusion
among sentences. Some of these spots
are two inches In diameter, and any
body in the next room can tell the mo-
ment the writer comes TO them, just as
well as if he was looking over his
shoulder When the letter is completed,
which generally occurs at the end of the
fifth hour from the commencement, it is
carefully read over and supplied with
absent words, and then gone over again
and artistically touched up with the
pen at the bare places. Then it is
folded up ready for the envelope, and
the discovery is made that there is no
envelope in the house, and the letter is
tucked in behind the clock until the
want is supplied.-DanbagN Nea0s.