The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-10-30
ALI Sorts of Paragraphss

|
bors, love their wives and take home papers
The best thing in the world is to tax
| things as they come-take them easy-ant
take good many of them.
1t is suggested that the immense doc
plates worn by the ladies on their belts Nigh
be utilized by engraving thereon the wearer'
name, age, residence, fortune, or expectations
and stating whether heart is free or engaged.
- The famous wit and beauty, Lady Wort
ley Montague, made the most sarcastic lane
unjust) observation ever published about hel
own sex. ut goes far" she said, "to recon
cils me to being woman when I reflect tha
l am thus in no danger of ever marrying one. ,
"A young lady who had coquetted with
hes beau until his practice was completely
exhausted, and he rose to 60 away, whispered,
as she accompanied him 10 the door, ~ shall
be at home next Sunday evening"" $50 shall
T." he replied.
- Most people dry their umbrellas handles
upward. This concentrates the moisture at
the tip, where it's close, rusts the wire which
secures the stretchers and rots the cloth. After
the umbrella is drained it is better to invert 1t
and dry it in that position.
- In nearly. every community the popula-
ton, men, women and children, are ready to
condemn, in no measured terms, the man who
SOCo ACO1AuS pAO opAOSVS3 WV NV ~ WV -
of condemnation or censure to the man who
sold the liquor.
- Missouri now claims TO rank second in
the farmers movement as regards the number
of oranges and their influence. Fifty agents
oranges at the rate of fifty a week, and it is
believed when the movement is two years old
it will number no less than two thousand
oranges.
"A man about fifty years of age, accompa-
MED by his wife, who looked still older, applied
for tickets to Pittsburg. When told the price
he demurred and after withdrawing for a
consultation, he returned to the window and
asked: "Well, won't you knock off a dollar if
the old woman will ride on the platform 2"
- The people of Connecticut have deter
mined that there shall be but one capital for
thesState in future, and that its name shall ba
Hartford. New Haven has been laid out in
the cold by decisive vote of the people Of
the whole State, which is scarcely large enough
to sustain two capitals, with their usual extern
siye lobby surroundings.
- 1t is now definitely settled that the tele-
graph wires in Germany are no longer to be
affixed to poles in the open air, but are to be
buried in underground tubes. The lines on
which the principle is to be first introduced
are those requiring large number of wires !;
and those first on the roll are the lines from
Berlin to the Rhine, which branches to diff
ferent points,
- The Treasury Department is now paying
persons who were employed in taking the Uni
ted States census in the Southern States in 1860,
just previous to the breaking out of the rebel
lion, and who were deprived of their money
on that account. These payments are made
under act of Congress of March 8, 1873, and
already SCI, ,619 have been paid to such employ
ees in sums ranging from $50 to 5000.
- Women who are afflicted with drunken
husbands may bless the day that witnessed
their weddings, as there is mine of wealth
in their possession if they will remove to Iowa,
where man pays ten cents for drink, and
his wife collects $4,000 damages from the man
who sold it to him. This is LOCO per cent.
better than insurance, and the wife keeps her
husband, and he keeps the liquor.
- Gen. Hooker, in the late reunion of the
Army of the Cumberland referred TO the Con-
federate, against which he had fought, in these
terms 'Search the world over and you will
not find the like Of them. I have had an op-
portunity of seeing some of the armies OF Eu.
rnpo since then-the French, Prussian and
Austrian-and tell you it will be down-hill
work to fight them, compared with our late
foes"
A lady took her son of some five years
to church. After the minister had been preach
sleepy and began to nod. The mother reused
him into attention several times by pushing !;
but as it seemed hopeless case, she concluded
to let him sleep undisturbed. After a while
the little fellow had his nap out, and saw the
minister still holding out. BE looked up in
his mothers face and innocently asked {:
Mother, is this Sunday night, or is it next
Sunday night ?"
A Methodist minister, who lived on
small salary, was unable at one time to get his
quaterly installment. He had called number
of times, but each time he had been put off
with none. At last he went to his steward,
and told him he must have his money, for his
family must have the necessaries Of life
"Money p' replied the steward, "you preach
for money thought you preached for the
good of souls !'' "Souls |" replied the minister,
II can't eat souls, and if I could, it would take
a thousand like yours to make decent meal"
- The Barnesville (Ohio) Enterprise says ::
can old gentleman and lady from Pennsylva-
mia are visiting our fair, whose life history is
somewhat singular. It appears chat a widow
lady took an orphan boy to raise, and when he
arrived at the age of Is she married him, she
then being in her fftieth year. Ten years ago
they took an orphan girl to raise. This sum-
mer the old lady died, being 96 years of age,
and in nine weeks after the old man married
the girl they had raised, he being 64 years old
and she 49,"
"A few days ago resident of Western
town was taken sick and sent for doctor.
The doctor left a prescription, with a request
that one of the children should call at his Office
the next day and say how the patient was do
ing. The little girl came, and when questioned,
she promptly answered: please sir, pap is
gettin' we'll now; he broke the stove all to
pieces this morning, nm he's been fightin'