Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-11-06
Aumuruus department.
RUSTICUS AT THE HOTEL.

RUSTICUS AT THE HOTEL.
A dusty, sun-browned stranger stalked into
one of our principal hotels early one evening,
laid big black valise, which had perhaps
made quite smart appearance in its youth,
carefully beside him, and, with hand unac.
customel to public writing scrawled with
great exertion the name of Lorenzo Smith
upon the register.
"Will you have some supper, Mr. Smith p
asked the clerk.
"Wall, no, guess not" returned the rustic
gentleman. "The folks at home put up a
good bit of grub, and thar's enough left in
this yere carpet bag for a supper, I reckon
The clerk smiled, and the countryman and
his corpulent carpet-bag were shown to their
room. Country was somewhat dazed at its
magni6cence, but he was hungry, and, placing
the satchel on the centre-table, he drew forth
large chunk of boiled ham, numerous pieces
of cold chicken, several enormous doughnuts,
and halfa-dozen hard-boiled eggs He was
about to absorb the meager repast into his
starving system, when his eyes caught sight
of the "rules for guests tackled upon the
door. He got up and read them aloud. He
came to the last one, and read, "Meals in
room charge extra" He read it again, this
time slowly. "Wall, I be DANCED" he ejacu-
lated, and, turning to the table, in an instant
he had removed the ham, doughnuts, eggs,
and all into the omnivorous carpet.sack, and
in another instant he was down in the office,
where he accosted the clerk with, 81 see stran-
ger, yer sign up thar in my room says meals
in rooms charged extra"
EYES," responded the clerk, who recognized
the customer of few minutes ago, and could
scarcely repress his risibles. "One dollar
EXTRA
"Wall, III be consarned," "-screamed the
verdant, Il guess the expense of hot meal
won't be much more, and beckoning to a
bell-boy, he called out, "Hy'ar, boy, show me
the way to yer kitchen ;" and in moment
later he was in the hands Of the waters.
HOW DANIEL DREW SPELLS "DOOR."
The Chicago Post vouches for the following
story on Daniel Drew, one of the New York
bankers:
Remaining one evening late in his office,
and having occasion to use the safe, he per-
mitted the cashier to 90 home, remarking that
he would close the safe and fix the combina-
ton on the word "door.' But when the
cashier undertook to open the safe in the
morning he found that the lock refused to
yield to the magic "door." He tried and
tried again, but without success. Finally,
happening to remember that "Daniel's'' early
education had been neglected, he attributed
his i'll luck to poor photography. He there.
fore tried the lock upon "dore." Still no
success and then upon "doar,'' with no bet
ter fortune. Finally, becoming disgusted, he
proceeded to the St. Nicholas, routed "Dan'P'
out of his choicest morning nap, and as he
stuck his nightcap out of the door this collo-
guy ensued: "Mr. Drew, I can't open the
safe on door You must have concluded to
change the word "Change the word !!
Nothin' O the kind. shut it on door
"Are you sure, sir?' "Sure. sir, you tarnal
ape; of course I'm sure! Go back to your
work, and don't come foolin' roun' here this
time O. the morning." "Well perhaps, Mr..
Drew I don't spell the word right. How do
you spell it," 'Spell it! Any fool can
spell door. D.o-a-r-e, doare, of course sir.
If you can't spell door, sir, you're no cashier
for me. Pack up your duds and 60 out of the
door," And shutting the "door" in the
cashiers face, Daniel returned to his bed in a
passion, and the clerk to his safe. Armed with
the open sesame "doare," however, the safe
flew open without further trouble, and when
Daniel arrived, Modified by good breakfast
and his morning prayer, he advised his cashier
he might keep his place provided he would
improve his time and "go to spelliu' skool in
the evening"