Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1873-11-22
Whose Pigs /!

Two famliies In Slaws0n have had
an experience somewhat similar to that
suffered by Mr.. Cobleigh several weeks
ago. These families live in a double
house, and each had a pen with two
pigs. Last Friday the woman in one
part discovered that her two pigs were
free from their pen, and looking after
geological specimens at the foot of the
yard. She also discovered at the same
time that the gate to a cabbage yard
adjoining was open, and that the pigs
might, at any moment become ravished
by view of the glories within. Her
husband being away, she hurriedly Sc
cured the gate, and then set about TO
return the truants by the following in
genious plan. Taking shovel ofcorn,
she approached as close to the animals
as possible, and, holding the tempting
morsel near enough for them to learn
its inviting character, she screwed her
face into an expression of winning
sweetness, and backed slowly toward
the pen. 1t was a beautiful illustra-
ton Of woman's faith, and we regret
10 write that it did not work. The
pigs took one snuff at the contents of
the shovel, just to show that they took
some interest in the matter, and, be-
ing convinced thereby that there was
nothing injurious in the experiment,
fell TO roofing about again with renew
ed fervor The nearer the woman
came TO the pen the straighter her face
grew, and presently lost every vestige
of sOlicitude. and assumed instead an
expression of medium ferocity. What
she may have done will never be known,
rs at this iuncture her husband made
his appearance on the back stoop, and,
her eyes resting upon him, she com
menced TO apOstrOphIse him In the
language married people alone are
adopts at. After requesting somebody
10 show him the idiot who had let
those hogs out, that he might punch
his head, he drove straight at the tru-
ants, and missed them, of course.
Then he drove at them again with a
clothes pole, and missed them again,
although he made another pole by hit
ting that on a stone. Any one who
has helped to drive one or two pigs will
readily understand the number of ar
ricles that passed through the air, and
the style of conversation the man kept
up during the chase. Finally, he got
one of the animals I'M corner, and be-
ing by this time utterly regardless of
personal appearances or consequences,
threw himself upon the brute, neatly
scraping the fence with the top of his
head, and falling upon the pig in such
way as to hold in allegiance every one
of lis muscles except in the throat.
These were at once putin active opera
ton, and the man for moment thought
he had captured planning mill. Then
he raised slowly, keeping a tight hold
of the animal, and getting on his feet,
and the pig in his arms, struck out for
for the pen, proceeded by his wife and
another woman, and closely and anxi-
ously observed by all the neighbors for
half mile around. In this way the
procession laboriously moved, the pig
having worked its head to within two
inches Of the mans ear, was pouring
therein tale of unparalleled distress.
which if not calculated to melt the
stoutest heart, actually threatened to
split open the stoutest head. The man
was utterly powerless TO remedy the
horror, having both hands engaged, and
could only twist his ear little out OF
range, and scream at the top of his
voice his plans for the future of them
hogs" On reaching the pen, and while
in the act of dumping the bowling vi
per over the side, the woman next door
made an unfortunate discovery. TheiI
hogs were III the pen; the truants were
hers, The man. who was still holding
the pig, and might have, with reason
taken prominent part in the debate
contentented himself by merely ex
pressing a hope that he might b.
damned, aud then trudged around Il
the other pen, where he arrived after
much unlocked for tribulatiOn, anC
again hoisted the bowling monster VI
10 the top, When the woman next dOOl
made another aud still more remarka
bic discovery. Her pigs were in thei
pen. What's that screamed tn,
man, who was so fixed that he coulC
not very well see into the pen, and wa
obliged to lift his voice to make him
self heard above the din. Them ain
my pigs, screamed the woman
Why amt they he yelled. "Caus
my pigs are here, she shrieked back
1t is needless to add that the strang
animals were urged out Of that gardel
without the use of subterfuge.-Dda
bp,U Netcs.