Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1873-08-01
TINE sQUsRR's VISITORS.

Squire Blinks, a retired old gentleman,
lives away down on Seventh street. The
other morning three old ladies from Ma
con county came TO his house on visit.
They used to know his wife before she was
married. The Squire welcomed them 10
his mansion, and then went ont TO the barn
and swore for half an hour. While he was
soothing himself thus his wife called him
into the house. She handed him an umbrel-
la TO keep off the sun, and said the ladies
walked up from the depot and left some
things there for him TO bring up. So he
brought them up, making two round trips
for the baskets, band boxes, and two black
oii-cloth travelling bags, all of which the
Squire discourteously called "infernal old
traps"
AS he sat in the back kitchen wiping his
brow, his wife brought out the market
basket and said there was not bit of sugar
or lea in the house, and she remarked that
while he was going down town he might
as well get the moasses-iug filled. The
Squire asked her how long those old mi
gratory pelicans were going to stay. And
she asked him if he thought her so rude as
to ask them.-rhen the Squire went down
and laid in the groceries. When he got
back his wife said she had forgotten some
thing, and thought of ii just when it was
too late. She must have some corn
starch. The Squire asked her if any of the
old scare-crows bad dropped the least hint
as 10 the duration of their visit. She said
not. The Squire looked sad and dscon-
tented.
When he laid the paper of corn-starch
on The kitchen table his wife said they
must have a Goldfish for dinner. One of the
ladies said, in the course of conversation,
| that she was fond of Goldfish. The Squire
asked if the old buzzards had yet commit
ted themselves on the extent of their pres
ent roost. She said he ought to be asham-
ed of himself
| When he slapped the Goldfish down on
the table with a whang, bis wife got him
TO bring in some water and wood said
Mrs. Spoonnauger said she never dned
without ale, and the Squire was asked If he
would go down and bring up a bottle. He
asked if he shouldn't go into the parlor
and get these old cormorants TO make out
| a Ii>t VI Nhdt tuty bih ilhOf uIb iuithS'
more asked If they were yet silent as to
when they thought they could go away.
He got the ale, and for fear he would
have TO trot down town again, be hired an
express wagon and loaded it with all sorts
of garden truck, bottle Of whiskey, a box
of sardincs, pound of snuff, some cove
oysters, dried apples, beans, smoked
tongue, cut and dried tobacco, picked wal
nuts, canned corn, mdckerel, split peas,
| &c.
The next day the Squire was sent down
town only eight times.
Early the next morning he started out
into the country to see mau. When he
got home he asked his wife ifany time had
been act for the departure. On the eve
ming of The following Monday one of the
ladies said she thought they ought TO start
on the next Friday, 80 as Ia reach home
before Sunday. Mrs. Binks said they
oughtn't to lie in hurry. The Squire
groaned, and said they ought to stay and
make their visit out. On Friday morning
the Squire had an express wagon before
the door. But his wife said the ladies had
concluded TO stay until after the Fourth
Then the Squire went out TO saw wood and
converse with himselr.-Peoria Reuiew.