Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1873-03-01

and had only ended when fate separated Us and
pat between US and our untold love a Who'll
world. But nov IL vas different, There was
more than whole world between US; there was
the st, the present. and the future 1, at least,
lad suGered since We babe each other an in
definite farewell-l, at least, could not love as
had once loved. Sometimes before the very
thought Of love- ms whole nature rose and
battled fercely. Atfirst think that asonly
indifferent, but n the end fancied that this
man an1erstcoane little. and sorrowed over
the wonan's biunder had made.
: ''Let US ask ~ questions Of each other" he
had sAid to me once. ave have both svlf'ered.
Let rs trust each other"
have told him whatI felt, but was not sorrv
that one human soul understood the misery the
dragging days held Tor me. So this morning as
we walked along the beach we were both silent
clined to speak. We both listened to the moan
of the breakers and watched the long line Of
foam ont ri sea; and at last both by one accord
st0ppsSd wl:Is cluster Of sosks sheltered US
remained standing, with his back against a
rock and his arms folded. At length he spoke
to me.
at Is three years today, !" he said, "since You
The sudden, hurried beating OF my heart al
most sufiOcated me. ] had forgotten until this
moment and the rush of old memories over
powered me. remembered the very day-Iust
such a day as this, with sunshine warming even
the leaden November sky, and whitening the
piled edges of the clouds. L had thought it
bright then. 1 remembered. too, how the day
had closed in as stood at the window of nv
new home with Roger 'sarms folded about me
and his heart beating against mine. 1 could
scarcely speak steadily, but 1 managed to do
50 at length.
$50 long?" said. coldly; s.yes. believe Won
are right Where were you? How did you learn
He did not look at me; his eyes were fixed
steadily on the far-away white line of foam.
al was in Calcutta he answered. "The
news had been long time on its way and
reached me OH this very day--the day that
ii easily"
dropped my glove, and as stopped to pick
II up sudden recollection flashed across my
brain. One day, three months after our mar
rage, Roger had come home with a budget of
news from Calcutta, and among other things
hao referred to the intense heat and the prev
tant,.
''My informant is one of the travellers for Am
boyse & Derig," he said, "and he tells me that
the very day he left-the day we were married
Ger' ase-one Of the statesmen was struck down
with 1t. He was talking to one of our clerks
about our wedding too, Hegblase says and he
saw the young fellow change color and stag
ger, and in minute more he fell like q shot
Gwynne his name was, L believe-Ralph
Gwynne."
SO one man had suffered for me at least-one
mans love had not died a natural death in a few
Ralph put his hand into his pocket and drew
forth q letter.
This was handed to me last night" he said
sit bears a London pOst-mark.r
L lid not offer to take il for a moment /
knew he had searched Inc to the core, that he
had seen every fruitless pang and bitter humiI-
Iation of the past two years. My letters to nv.
sweIs had been few and far between, and nv
pride had forced fresh sting upon me even
while was otherwise Indifferent to the neglect
80 hesitated now. and the ext moment Ralph
Gwynne came to my side as if drawn there by
ala uncomfortable impulse. A CLEAN of light
shot over his dark face.
You do not care to take it, he said. oThe
very sight OF ii Is new torture. Let me throw
il into the sea. Gervase."
His vehemence actually startled me into self
control; THAT would be 3 new reading of old
iaWs."I said. "No; give it to me-
He submitted without word. But didnot
read the letter. 1t had come too late for pc
rusal, said to myself. SO held ii in my hand
earelessly, making show Of an ease 1 could
1t was in my hand when we returned, and I
sat down before the IRE in Lsbeth's room. The
sea breeze had done me no good this morning
was tired and worn out, and dropping into a
chair before | removed my wrapping, sat ST
lent, resting my chin upon my hand and hold
ing the letter loosely.
Lisbeth came in to find me sitting thus, and
at her first glance at me saw a strange shadow
cross her face.
"Tired, Gervase?" she asked.
She crossed the room TO the fire anu knelt
down, on pretense Of Frightening the hearth
little with the brush she held in her hand. The
next minute she turned her fair, gracious face
full upon me.
"And you have not read your husbands let
ter she said. ''Why, Gervase?"
"Because am not going to read it," replied
flung it into the fire.
But Lisbeth said nothing. wondered at the
time whether it was possible for her calm
healthfnl nature to comprehend the morbid
misery that possessed me. I fancied not. The
broad, even current OF her hfe's affection had
swept on undisturbcd, bearing on its smooth
surface many flowers. She could not under
stand me and my weak miseries and weaker
regrets.
hid my face in my hands when she left the
room and abandoned myself to thought. /
could not explain why it was that during this
thought OF returning to London and nv hus-
band. IL ever my mind had required to the
Ios, had shr9nk from it with misery al
now unless, as had hoped, in a colin, SHUT out
forever from his sight.
As I sat by the fire l was wondering vaguely
er he would be touched for a moment with some
of those first days of our mar
riage, when we had at least fancied we loved
each other.
Two hot tears falling upon nv hand startled
me from my reverie just in time to hear Lisbeth
coming down stairs with her child in her arms.
ana singing to IL softly. Should we have loved
each other better-ROger and I-if NV baby
had not dIed-I asked myself with pang
Lisbeth came in and sat down near me again,
still singing softly, still holding her baby upon
her shoulder as she rocked her chair. o, how 1
envied her her strength and happiness! She
was 50 strong and happy; her handsome baby
was 50 light burden In her arms; her quietly
busy ways 50 wOmanly gracious. L looked at
ler lovely, Ciear-browed face, and at the corO-
nal of thick light-brown brads across her state
y head; looked at her peaceful eyes, and the
OFT mouth that seemed made for chldrens
Kisses, and, remembering her girlhOod, gave the
,alm to the beauty of her mother life.
Her calm, radiant face struck me to the hearts
ORE. Often during the last year had told my
elf that was only one Of the many, that nv
mistake was only the mistake all women suffer
rom-the mistake of hoping for a happiness
he world cannot hold. But Llsbeth broke down |
ny theory.
1 did not write to London again. The cor
dependence had only been a matter OF cour-
md 1t.
Ralph Gwynne did not 20 away, as Iisbeth
lad told me he intended doing. He had chang
"A his mind, he said. Bamb0rOugh agreed with |
him. and the India house had prolonged his fur
ough in consideration of his past ser vices and |
present ill-health. He did not look ILL., thought
md told him 50. But he stayed at Bambor
,ugh from day to day, and the longer he STAYED |
he more strongly his old power reasserted it. |
elf. Not that loved him. L was past that |
Love could not come back to me, but 1 had |
Oyed him mi all fho 81 ox;.l