Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-02-12
NY vvlfe,s erldal Tour.


2 - 49,
xAe Hess Way u manage a VILE
Advise 20 rsans Men.
When I married my second wife,
she was dreadful set about going of
en- Z bridal tour. told her sliethnd
better wait ak months or a tcar aud
I'd 60 with her, and sac said she had
rather go alone-when a woman 10
straveIing,a man ia an out-aad-out
humbng. So l gave her seventy-five
cents, sud told her to go aud have a
good time. never bexrudgc money
when my wifs's happiness is cou-
eerucd. Ny first wife ncyer could
complain of not going anywhere, for
am deeadful ficrco 10 go OF on q
good time myself. l don't pretend
to say how many times ltook her out
to see the sights; and there was no
end 10 the free lectures let her go to.
The ncighbors used 10 say. at beats
allhow the SINNERS do go"
When the circus as in Skunkville.
the manager gave my wife a compile
n,cntary ticket. Iaot only sold the
ticket for my wife, but gave her half
the money. Idon't boast of it; but
only mention it to show how much ]
thought Of her happiness.
Idou't think any man ought to got
married until he a consider his
wife's happiness only second to his
own. John Wise, a ueighbor Of mine,
did thusly, aud when l got married i
concluded to do likewise.
But the plan didn't work in the
ease of my wife. No-I should a
not. / broached the subject kindly.
"Matilds,n said al suppose You are
aware that I an now your lord and
master?"
..Not much you amt" said she.
@'tMrs. Skinner" said !, "you arc
fcarfully disorganized. You are
cranky" And 1 .brandished my new
sixty cont umbrella wildly around
her.
She took the umbrella away from
me aud locked me up in the clothes
press.
Tam quick to draw an inference. !
drew here that | was not a success as
q reorganizcr of female women.
After this, I changed my tactics. ]
let her have her own way: aud tho
plan from tho first worked like a
charm. 1t is the best way OF manag-
Jug q wife that know of.
or course this is between YOU and
me. It's a secret worth knowing.
So, when my wife said she was
to go of on q lriial tour any
how, 1 cordially asscntcd.
"Go, Mati!da," said, l, "and stay as
long as you want to, and then if you
feel as though you would like to stay
little longer, stay, my dear"
She told me to stop talking, and go
up stairs and get her. red flannel night
cap, and that bag of peEnyroyal for
her aunt Abigail. My wife is a smart
woman. She was a Baxter
and the Baxters are smart
family, indeed. Her mother, who is
going OH eighty, can Fry moro flap
jacks now, than half of those primp,
uptown girls who rattle on the piano,
or walk the streets with their fur
bellows and fixings, pretending to get
mad # young chap looks at them
very hard, but getting mad in ear
neat If you take no notice of them at
all.
All! girls ain't what they used to be
when I was young, and the fellows
are worse still. Whcl 1 went court
ing, for instance. l never thought of
till after ten o'clock, end only
week. Now they go seven
nights in q week, and cry because
there amt eight. Then they write
touching notes 10 each other during
the day-"Dear George: Do you love
me rs much. as you did at a quarter
to twelve last night? Say you do,
dearest, and il will give Inc courage
10 go down and tackle them cold
beans, left over from Yesterday"
Let them get together and court, if
they like it-and l think they do. !
was forty-scvcn when courted my
second wife, but it seemed just as
nice to sit on a llttlc cricket at her
feet, and let her smooth my hair, as
1t did thirty years ago.
AS I said before, my wife was a
smart woman; but she couldn't be
else and be q Baxter. She
used to give lectures on woman's
rights, and in one place where she
iectured, a big college conferred
the tito Of l.. l.. d. upon her. But
she wouldn't take it. mo, gentle
men," said she, "give Tito the poor"
She was always just SO charitable.
She gave her boys permission to go
barefooted all winter, and insisted on
II so much In her kind way that the
the boys couldn't refuse.
She fairly dotcs upon my children,
and Eve seen her many q time 80 for
their trowsers' pockets after they had
CONC to sleep. and take out their pen
MES, aud put them in her bureau
drawer-for fear they might lose
them.
lstarted to tell You all about my
wife's bridal tour; but the fact is
never could find out much about it
myself. l believe che had a good
time. She camc back Improved in
health, and I found out before she
had been ia the house tweaiy.four
hours that she had gained strength
slso, Idon't say how ] found out.
In conclusion l would say to all
yonng men, marry your second wife
frat, and keep out Of debt b. all
means, even ifysu have to borrow
the money 10 do it.
The School Of Mines at Roila,
Missouri, 10 remarkably successful.
II has o good corps illustrators and
for An institution in its second year,