The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1873-08-22


ing-wax. r
TAYLOR says there is no goodness in
nature but virtue.
AT WHAT season did Eve eat the
apple? Early in the fall.
WHEN you tell man a joke, poke
him in the shirt and he'll laugh.
The only food that is always cheap
and abundant, is food for laughter.
! STRANGE yet true-the mouths of
rivers are always larger than their
heads.
A LAZY Essex street man being re-
quested to stone some raisins, told his
wife to try coaxing first.
FATE is nothing, say the Hindoos, but
the deeds committed in prior state of
existence.
Some very unscrupulous person has
defined a Chinese policeman as an Asia
tic collarer.
WILL you venture on an orange
asked n hostess of Leigh Hunt at des-
sert. Not without imminent danger of
! falling off, madam, was his reply.
EVERY man has three relations to
acquit himself in: his body helps to
make one, the Deity another, and his
| neighbors a third.-HdrcJEs AUreIjUs.
WHERE are the men of '76? shouted
a patriotic orator. Dead, responded a
sad looking man IN the middle aisle.
The orator seemed to be disturbed by
the information.
ALIcE-Do you know, uncle, that that
horrid Mr.. Blinks declares you have
taken to hard drinking? Uncle George
Not. true, my dear. Mol Never
drank easier in my life
A LITTLE boy was caught in the gear
ing of patent churn at Clinton, Wis
consin, the other day, and though his
scream was first rate, he failed to make
good butter.
SO far, far gone out Of sight,
My strained eyes follow 9. thee no more;
Thou to the left, to the right,
Never TO meet as heretofore
Yet though the he'd distance 9I.;s grows grow IS 50 wide vide
We're nearer the other side
The further are sundered here.
c.. F. Bates.
A CNCINNATI editor who has indulged
in heavy life insurance, is said to be
followed whenever he goes a-fishing by
several insurance companies, affection
ately bearing life-preservers and sun
umbrellas.
LET go that jib, let go that jib, quick!
shouted the captain of a down east
sloop to a raw hand in a squall. amt
touching yer old jibl replied Jonathan
Indignantly, as he jammed his fists
deeper into his trouserIoons.
TRUE friendship cannot be among
many. For since our faculties are of
finite energy, It's impossible our love
can be very intense when divided among
many. No, the rays must b" contracted
to make them burn.-JOh7a Norris.
SCHooLAfAsTER-'' How many kinds
of axes are there?" Little boy Broad
AK, narrow ak, iron ak, steel ak, AK of
the Apostles and ak my father" School
master" Good go to the top of the
class"
LIGHTNING recently struck tele-
graph-pole and ran along the wire into
the Office at CoatsvilIe, Indiana, when
the operator, seated at the instrument,
excitedly telegraphed back, Don't
send so id fast T.
No MAN or woman was ever cured of
love by discovering the falseness of his
or her lover The living together for
three long, rainy days IN the country
has done more to dispel love than all
the perfidies in love that have ever been
committed. Helps.
WOULD rather be the author of one
y,F
hundred battles. Yet moral excellence
is so much superior to intellectual, that
I ought to esteem one virtue more yalu-
able than a hundred original thoughts.
W. B. CLulooO.
WEAR your learning, like your watch,
in a private pocket; and do not Pull 1t
out and strike it, merely to show that
you have one If you are asked what
o'clock it is, tell it, but do not proclaim
it hourly and unasked, like the watch
man. CHesteZJield.
Tue characteristic Spanish wit is ex-
cessive stateliness. OF their proverbs,
''He who has nothing to do, let him
buy ship or marry a wife" " From
many children and little bread, good
lgOTQ denver US. Il lODl Is ut5Nt5L II
great one unless ne knows Latin"
MAMMA, don't forget to ask papa
about going to Brighton for a fort
nightw "Hush, dear! I'm afraid it
won't do You know how dreadfully the
seaside upsets papa for the first week
alwaysl" eyes but papa needn't
come down till the second week, you
know Punch.
EKoEosrY IL a savings bank, into which
men drop pennies, and git dollars in re-
turn.
AvARIcE IL Iik graveyard it takes
all that it kan git and gives nuthing
back
ERROR will slip thru a crack, while
truth will git stuck in a doorway.
Josh Billings.
The least appearance of violence or
extravaganza, of the want of modera-
ton and restraint, is, think, destruc-
tive of all beauty whatsoever in every
thing, color, form, motion, language or
thought, giving rise to that which IN
color we call glaring, in form inelegant'
in motion ungraceful, in language
course, in thought undisciplined, IN all
upchastened.-R Ruskfn.
How often one finds in life that an
idea which one may have met in youth,
made visible in words. but also yelled
~ L. b. I'll