The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-03-28
FACTS AND FANCIES.

| FACTS AND FANCIES. D..
Mr.. Caudle observes that bee
stung is bad and hornet-stung is worse
but neither is comparable with woman
tongue. .ass
The recent decline in the price O.
coal-oil is q matter of congratulation tC
the undertakcrs. They say that folks
don't kindle fires with the stuff when il
gets beyond a certain figure. 4s
THAT "School of journalism" al
Yale College is q success. An lows
editor has written to the President for 8
couple of graduates as soon as they are
turned out. Salary six dollars a week.
"A veterinary surgeon who lives al
Wilmington tried to founder" his
mother-in-law by dancing polka with
her until she got warmed up, and then
giving her all the iced lemonade she
could drink.
Our valuable contemporary, the
Honolulu Polynesian says: "Ta hook
ahora ko kiaaina Oahu, j. Kaona ma
kahi J. Kaaukai ka mel make tho
hei" We agree in substance with this
view of the case.
A young gentleman has recently
procured a local habitation in Texas,
who now advertises for name, if any
one has such a thing to spare. He lost
his during prolonged residence among
the Indians, by whom he was kidnapped
a number of years ago. No parties
called Smith need apply
Susan" said a girl, looking out OF
the upper story of grocery store on
LOrain street, addressing another girl
who was trying to enter at the front
door, "we've all been to prayer meeting
and been converted, SO when you want
lager on Sunday you will have to come
in at the back door"
You can have no heaven after death
of which you have not sown the seed
before death. Keep a strict wach over
your thoughts and affections, over your
imaginations and wishes, for according
to their character is the character of the
demons or angels that keep your com
pany. With what spirit your soul is
associated in the body, into the hands
af the same will you fall when you are
oosed from the body John PutJoro.
-"Woodworth, said Charles Lamb,
zone day told me that he considered
Shakespeare greatly overrated. "There
is" said he, "an immensity of talk in
all Shakespeare wrote, and people are
taken by it. Now, if I had mind
could write exactly like Shakespeare. 4"
$50 you see," proceeded Lamb, quietly,
sit was only the mind that was wanting. /"
Conversation between an inquiring
stranger and steamboat pilot: "That
is Black Mountain?'' 'rYes, sir; high
est mountain above Lake George" +"
"Any story or legend connected with
that mountain p 'tLots of 'em. Two
lovers went up that mountain once and
never came back again" "Indeed.
Why, what became of them ?" ''Went
down ON the other side"
Since Napoleon's death, country
physicians are growing crazy over the
cases of embolism developed through
out the land. Last week, in Ohio, a
young lady died from what round
headed old doctor said was ''heart klot
or embyolism of the main fue of the
heart, but she revived in an hour, and
it was found had been temporarily chok-
ed by chew of gum which she had
swallowed.
THE HENPECKED MAN.-The henpeck-
ed man IL most generally married /; but
there are instances on the record of
single men being harassed by the pull
lets.
Yu can alwus tell one ov these kind
ov men, espeshily if they are in the
company ov THAR wives. Thay looked
as RESIGNED tew THAR fate az a hen tur-
key in wet day.
Thare amt nothing that will take the
starch out ov man like being pecked
by a woman. It is wuss than seven
m onths' of the fever and agy.
The wives of hrnpecked husbands
most alwuz ont liv THAR victims, and
hav known them to get married agin,
and git hold ov a man that time (thank
the Lord y who understood all the hen
peck lodges.
One ov these kind ov husbands IL an
honor to his sex.
The henpecked man, when he gifts out
amungst men, puts on an air ov bravery
and defiance, and once in a while will
cit leetle drunk and then go home
with firm resolve that he will be cap
tain ov his household but the old wo
man SO. N takes the glory out of him,
and handles him Just as she would a
haff grown chicken, who had fell into
swill barrel, and had to be ierked ont
awful quick. Josh Rulings.
Like the youth of some other places,
the Pittsburg Mass. boys, to the num-
ber of 80 or so rush ont of evening
meetings as soon as the benediction is
pronounced, and stand ready to offer
their company to their opposites on the
other sex as they come out. One OF
these young bloods was about giving
his arm to the girl of his choice, q few
nights ago, when her father, who hasn't
a bit of romance in his soul but mighty
sight of vigor in his mucles stepped up
and taking in the situation at a glance,
erasped the youth by his coat collar,
lifted him about a yard clear of the
ground, and nearly shook him out of
his trousers. The young man has been
shy of that miss ever since. He says
:" it isn't safe to be hangin' round girl
whose father acts like q derrick.