Litchfield enquirer., 1873-07-17
the guild of regenerators of the world for

the guild Of regeneratorS or the Worlo iof- ever"
 What words were these for young girl to hear, accompanied as they were with the strongest expressions of love and ad- miration? saw before me such career as had longed for during my solitary, colorless youth--a career of high aims, splendid hopes, noble deeds; and I saw in the man at my feet, lover worthy of the sacrifice that must go before.
 ''Do you falter ?" he asked.
 May" answered, 'sI have waited for such summons as this; I am ready to obey it.''
 ''Is this promise, my Theodora P GA solemn promise.
 He took ring from his finger and put | it on my own; from that time I was not only the betrothed wife of this man, but his servant, his slave, his tool.
 l What followed was like dream. Two or three days afterwards, under the pre- tence of spending the evening with my aunts, I met him by appointment at Char l ing cross. and was conducted to gloomy little council-chamber, where I was en- rolled as member of certain secret so- ciety, having for it's object various politi- cal movements. Two or three weeks later broke the intelligence to my relations that l was going upon the stage. Ere twelve months were over. had contribut- ed several hundred pounds to the society's funds.
 The life now led was strangely varied and emotional There were my public brought my uncle and aunts back to me; poor little Dora had never swerved from her sisterly allegiance, and used to visit me surreptitiously during the first period of the majors wrath. had now friends, independence and fortune. I had, in ad- Adition to these, something l valued far more, namely, what conceived to be the highest ambition and the most devoted love that could ennoble life.
 Mr. Wratislaw was constantly bringing his friends to my house, and from their | lips heard narratives of personal suffer ing we'll calculated to strengthen my con- victions and brighten my enthusiasm. These care-w worn, poorly-dressed, ill-fed gentlemen were, in many cases, members of noble, nay, princely families, often ac- complished and eloquent, always polished and cultivated. They were refugees of various nations, Poles, Italians, Russians, Austrians, Hungarians. Recognized as the betrothed wife of MT. Wratislaw, who was regarded by the brotherhood with profound esteem, could not fail to hold the first position among the few women belonging to our little community, in all about dozen shabby, sad-faced wives, sveethearts, and sisters, who had followed their protectors into exile. They were all very gentle to me, and I helped them as much as I could. So time wore on, and many great changes took place. Wars burst out, dynasties fell, old governments were destroyed, and new ones were framed in their stead. Many of our enemies had fallen, and of our friends not few. So often had the members of our little soci- ety been summoned away on important behests, that one day Mr. Wratislaw and I found ourselves left alone.
 was now twenty three, and had natur- ally pondered over the question many and many time, "Why am l not already this mans wife e'' I wearied of the divided life was leading, the half of 1t belonging to the world, the other half to him. l yearned for the sweet, common intercourse surely made fitting prelude to marriage. He had never by look, word, or deed ex- pressed doubt in me. I trusted him as implicitly as on our betrothal day.
 But though I trusted him, I began to find that faith in myself was wearing out. I could not look forward to another long period of betrothal without alternate mis- givings and disnay. l was young, and he was middle aged. What if my shad- ody doubts and misgivings should take substantial shape? The result would be that I should lose him, and after having lost him, should hate himself. l could share these thoughts with no one, and the unhappiness of them told upon my health. I was too truthful to feign the ease of mind I did not feel; and before long, MT. Wratislaw saw clearly that some deep seated anxiety lay at the bottom of my pale looks and changeful moods. Some times was all tenderness and submission; at others, all waywardness and caprice. He maintained his courtly, lover-like be- havior, though the passionate devotion that first characterized it had gradually lessened.
 At last matters were brought to climax by a summons from abroad. MT. Wratis- law came to me with the letter in his hand, and read it quite calmly, though it involved his immediate departure and an absence of some years.
 waited in silence for what he had to say He, in his turn, scrutinized me, as if to read my secret thoughts. At last he said:
 'We must take leave of each other this very day. I depart at midnight. tried to speak, but found no words. His answering passiveness gave me cour- age. mistook 1t for the passiveness of despair, and implored that I might share his fortunes, for good OF evil, that might follow him wherever he went, and be to him wife, helper, comforter, all that 8 | true woman could.
 | He then explained to me at great length and in language so cold and we'll chosen, that it would have we'll become pleader in a court of law, why our marriage was impossible. In the first place, he said, was deciving myself if thought I was in any way fitted to accompany him on l this mission.
 s'You are impulsive, and full of the generous self-saerificing spirit of you sex; but consider what a life you would enter upon, what life you would relinquish. l The emissaries of prescribed faternity, we pfopagaRdists of a forbidden faith must fare hard as soon as we touch hos tile soil. Hunger and thirst, cold and heat, chains and imprisonment, very like l ly await us. You have been delicately reared. You will best serve us by remain 1 ing in the position to which nature has destined you. Brilliant, beautiful, ,inspir- ed and inspiring, we cannot leave a better advocate behind us than yourself. Ihave done you wrong in allowing an engage ment to go on for years that could not end in marriage, forgive me. At first I thought too manly of myself to imagine that an event so unimportant as my mar riage could effect for good or for evil the destinies of tens of thousands of my fel- low-creatures. Later have learned wis dom. have carefully weighed my own individual happiness against the good of people, and need say, which has kicked l the beam? You are q noble woman. Show your nobility in the same supreme self-abnegation. Let us weep together, 1 but rather over the suferings of others than our own, and let each of us do our poor best to alleviate them. We remain | friends, knit by closer tie than that of love for each other, namely love for hu- manity.'