The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-07-19

What's "power building| Are they getting
ready for Hammond?
An Iowa farmer chewcd the end OF his hoe
handle into splnters when he discovered the TO-
bacco plants he had been assiduously cultlva'lhG
for weeks were nothing but mullen stalks.
Mr.. John Peterkn, young dry goods sales
man in New York, successfully clipped WIN MISS
Pappincau, a young girl going to school IN Nc"
York Miss Pappincau didn't let her papa kho"
ANYTHING about her intention Of getting married
The Cincinnati Euqrir tells OF circus clown
over in Virginia who lectured the audience So
so severely on paying their money to see nm
act the fool while they stinted their preachers,
that the Christians all left the circus at once,
the preachers got up revival, and Il collection
was taken up for foreign missions amounting 10
four dollars.
An Indiana farmer don't pay any toll on the
plank road. He shoots the gate Keeper ana
logs right along. They have tried HIM twice.
but he gets clear, since one of his auntS cousins
used to get "fighty like"
In A recent case Of assault with intent to KILL
in Indiana, it was shown that the ARRAY came
about from father insisting on remaining in
the room with his daughter and her beau Inc
Jury cleared the young man.
The lady editor CT the Yorkvillc Ndrs says II
was out Of tender regard for our bald pate that
she advertised to receive hair goods" in pay
for subscriptions. But since our Yorkyllle Wig
maker has left us, our subscribers need not be
10 brip hp hair glouU'
Oh, it was us she was thinking OF: We are
ever so much obliged. Ccrtainly-we have no
objection in the world, you know
Cameron, Hartranft and Mackey, the noted
Pennsylvania pipe layers, have gone trout hsh-
inp The Cincinnati Engairr thinks, If The fish
had as much understanding as aPcnnsyyama
politician, they would come to the surface and
nrn over on their backs until Simon secured his
mess.
Where is Kankakcc located anyhow? The Ga
zotte complains Of the extreme dryness OF thc
weather for the last ten days, says we need ram
badly" &c. Was there no 4th Of July at kanka-
kcc no big storm, no atmospheric commouon,
no nothing?
Men seldom get the credit they deserve for
what they don't do. 80 you won the case, said
witness to the lawyer. "Ycs,-but small thanks
to YOU for what you said in the cause" An
sir" replied the conscientious Witness pu'
think OF what didn't say"
Does fish freeze in winter along with water ;
We took one out Of Fairfelds ice this week, ana
he was in n good preservation, but as deao aS IL
door nail--OdeN Weekly.
Dead, was he? That seems to prove that iiSh
"does" freeze in that way, and bad enough TO
kill 'em too.
A Chicago chap advertiscs for steady girls
TO helm on pantaloons" A fellow who can't help
on his own pantaloons alone ought to be ashamed
to want girls to "help" him.
Horace F. Clark, the late deceased "railroad
king" is reported to have left an estate OF the
value OF $4,000 600 which, it may be said, is do
ing very well for one who had to make his living
out Of the "scanty" earnings and profits OF rail
roads
This is the way it is rendered now in the rural
districts;
"Comc out into the garden, Maud"
Never mind your knittng,-quick!
And bring the dish of Paris green,
The potato bugs are awful Thick
In n recent debate member of the California
Legislature cyclaimcd "The honorable gentle
man from Calavcras county is undoubtedly Il
person of great abilities, man of talent, natn-
raj born genius, but there is one thing defy
him to do and that is 10 bite the bottom q dJr4'"9
nan 1rithoW shutting his nose"