National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1873-09-19
Trying an Experiment.

point in one eye and stick in one hand.
One eye was covered With u handker-
chief and one arm in sling, His bear
ing was that of man with q settled
purpose in view.
81 vast to see" says he, "the man
that puts things into this paper"
We intimated that several of us earn
ed frugal livelihood in that way.
"Well, | want to SEQ tho man which
cribs things out of the other papers.
The fellow who writes mostly with
shears, you understand.
We explained to him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among us,
driven to frenzy by tho scarcity of ideas
and events, and by the clamorous de-
mauds OF an Unsuitable public, in mo.
ments of emotional insanity plunged
the glittering shears into our exchanges.
He went off calmly, but in voice trem-
ulous with suppressed feeling and in
distinct through the recent loss of half
dozen or SO of his front teeth
"Just SO, | presume so. l don't
know much about this business, but /
want to see man, the man that print
ed that little piece about pouring cold
water down drunken mans spine OF
his back, and making him instantly
sober. If you please, | want to see
that man. l would like to talk with
him"
Then he leaned his stick against our
desk and moistened his serviceable
hand, and resumed his hold on the stick
as though he was weighing it. After
studying the stick a minute, he added,
in a somewhat louder tone
"Mister, | came here to see that ere
man. want to see him bad.
We told him that particular man was
not in.
Gust So Ipresume so. They told
me before | come that the man | want
ed to see wouldn't be anywhere. I'll
wait for him. live up north, and I've
walked seven miles to converse with
that man. l guess I'll sit down and
wait"
He sat down by the door and reAec-
lively pounded the floor with his stick,
but his feelings would not allow him to
keep still.
"I suppose none of you didn't ever
! pour much cold water down any drunk.
en- mans back to make him instantly
sober, perhaps p
None of us in the office had ever tried
the experiment.
Gust so. 1 thought just as like not
you had not. Well, mister, / have. !
tried it yesterday, and l have come
seven miles on foot to see the man that
printed that piece. 1t want much of a
piece, l don't think; but | want to see
the man that printed it, just few min
utes. You see, John Smith, he lives
next door to my house, when I'm tc
home, and he gets how-comes-you sc
every little period. Now, when he's
sober, he's all right if you keep out OF
his way; but when he's drunk, he goes
home and breakes dishes, and tips over
the stove, and throws the hardware
around, and makes it inconvenient for
his wife, and sometimes he gets his gun
and goes out calling on his neighbors,
and it amt pleasant.
"Not that | want to say anything
about Smith; but me and my wife don't
think he ought to do so. He came home
drunk yesterday, and broke all the
kitchen windows out OF his house, and
followed his wife around with the carv-
ing knife, talking about her liver, and
after while he lay down by my fence
and went to sleep. / had been reading
that little piece; it want much of a
piece, and l thought if l could pour
some water down his spine, on his back,
and make him sober, it would be more
comfortable for his wife, and a square
thing to do all around. SO poured a
bucket of spring water down John
Smiths spine of his back.
"Well," said we, as our visitor paus-
ed, "did it make him sober?' Our vis-
itor took a firmer hold of his stick, and
replied with increased emotion:
"Just so. suppose it did make him
as sober as Judge in less time than
you could say Jack Robinson; but, mis-
ter, it made him mad. 1t made him
the madest man l ever saw; and Mr..
John Smith is a bigger man than me
and stouter. He is a good deal stouter.
Bla-bless him, / never knew he was
half so stout till yesterday, and he's
handy with his fists, too. | should
suppose he's the handiest man with
fists | ever saw"
"Then he went for you, did he?" we
asked innocently.
"Just so. Exactly. l suppose he
went for me about the best he knew,
but I don't hold no grudge against
John Smith. l suppose he amt a good
man to hold grudge against, only |
want to see thut man what printed
that piece. | want to see him
bad. l feel as though it would
soothe me to see that man.
wanted to'show him how drunken man
acts when you pour water down the
spine of his back. That's what | come
for"
Our visitor, who was pouring water
down the spine of a drunken man s
back, remained until about o'clock IN
the evening, and then went up street to
find the man that printed that little
piece. The man he is looking for start
ed for Alaska last evening for a summer
vacation, and will not be back before
Septam ker 1879