The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-05-29
at'heeliug 2egister.
Tho Raw American.

London at present aoounds 10 Anef
leans on their way to the Vienna Ex'
position. Many Of them are commits
s;oners from various States. Some have
lands to sell or other financial axes to
grind. Ofsuch the Langham Hotel is
full. The Langham is the nearest ap-
proach to an American hotel in Lon
don. There, though not guest you
may pass in and out without explain
ing to the hail porter who you are, what
YOU are, where you are from, or what
you want; you may there enter or re-
tire without giving your pedigree natu-
rslization papers, or certificate OF good
character. At other English hotels
something analosis to this is commonly
required.
We who have been in England full
wear look down with an air Of superior
ity on the raw, the newly arrived Amer
ican. We are quite English. We have
worn out our American clothes. We
have on English hats with tightly
curled rims, and English stub-toed
boots. We know the intricacies OF
Loadon street navigation. and Islington,
Bl ackfriars, Camden Town, Hackney,
the Surrey Side" Piccadilly, Regent
aud Oxford streets, the Strand and
Fleet street, are all mapped out dis
tinctly in our minds eye. We are
skilled in English money, and no longer
psss off half crowns for two shilling
pieces. We are real Anglo-Ameri-
cans. ,
But the raw American, only arrived
aweek, is in maze, a confusion, a
hurry. He is excited and mystifed.
He tries to appear cool and uuconcern-
ed, and ia simply ridiculous. His
cards, bearing his name, title, and Of
fetal status, he distributes as freely as
doth the winter wind the snow flakes.
Inquire st the Lsugham office for Mr..
Smith, and you find he has blossomed
into General Smith.
He is always partaking or about to
psr;ake Of official dinners. He feels
that the eyes oil all England are upon
him. He is dressed la baudbox-hat
immaculate in its pristine gloss, white
crsvat, umbrella OF the slmmest, en-
cased in silken wrapper. A speck OF
mud on his boots would tarnish the
national honor. Commonly be is taken
for a head butler. He drinks much
stout. He eats whitebait dinner be-
fore being forty-eigbt hours in London,
and tells ofit. All this makes him feel
English.
You meet him. He is overjoy ed.
He would talk OF everything-your
mutual experience in America, his SEN
sations since arriving in England. He
talks intelligently of nothing. His
brain is a mere rag-bag-shreddy' con-
fused, parti colored. Thus be empties
it: Passage oser rough, London
wonderful" "Dined with the Earl OF
Yesterday" "Dine with Sir -
to-day" "To the tower" "Westmin-
ster," New York growing" "St.
Paul's"-going, going, gone! and he
shakes hands with you, and is off al a
Broadway gait straight toward the east
end of London for his hotel, which lies
at the west end.
In reality the man is not in his right
mind. He is undergoing the mental
acclimatization fever. Should he stay
in London for three months he might
recover and begin to find out where he
is. But six months hence be will have
to return to America, fancying he has
seen London, Paris, Rome, Geneva,
Vienna, aud whatever other places his
body has been hurried through, not his
mind for that. in toe excitement and
rapidity of his flight, has streamed be-
hind him like the tail of comet
light, attenuated, vapory catching moth
ing, absorbing nothing.
Occasionally this fever takes an abu-
sive phase. He finds in Englaud moth.
ing to like, rothing to admire. Some
times he wish es Immediately to revolu-
tionize the government. He is incen-
sed at the cost of royalty. He sees on
every side indications of political up
heayal. Or he becomes culiuarily die
gusted. Because there are no buck
wheat cakes, no Goldfish balls, no hot
bread, 20 pork aud beans. no mann
moth oysters, stewed fried,an roasted,
he can fud nothing to eat. The
Eoglish cannot cook. Because he can
fad no noisy, clsttering dish smashing
restaurant, full OF acrobatic walters,
racing and balancing under immense
piles OF plates, and shouting jargon un-
;rauslatable, unintelligible, and unp'o
noancible, down into the lower kitchen,
he capnot eat.-HppineOtfs Magazine.