The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1873-02-10


he were In Paradise he would at once suggest Q
| Board OF Public Works and sundry improvements.
II he were In that other place Brother Harlan used
| to preach about he would give the devil no peace
until he had built him separate oven TO toast his
political enemies in as they come along There is
nothing my friend "Thunderbrains'' 10 not willing
| and ready to try his hand at. Great In war, and
| equally great in peace. He could march you an
| army and he could fight you an army. When 1t
came to FORTS however. he preferred blowing them
| up from o distance. He could put whole city on
its good behavior, and as for digging canals no
| man out OF China could beat him at that.
| 1t was my friend "ThunderDrains'" mis-
| fortune not to have been born In China,
where skill in canal digging is highly appreciated,
and the Commissioner Of Grand Canals ia Man.
| DARN with two tails and two swords 1t does not
| matter q straw with my friend whether he under
| stands the principles Of thing or not. His motto
is, "smash right ahead and study the principles az
| terwards" 9f0f sn.L
| For three or four years past
| TIE ATMOSPHERE OF THE HALL OF THH HOUSE OF
| REPRESENTATIVES,
| has been impregnated with foul odors, as II some
| decayng carcass had been deposited there to
vitiate the very air and offend the delicate sensibi
! ties Of certain honorable members. Indeed, 1t re-
| sembles very much an od0r we used to be familiar
| with in the army when the breeze was too strong
I
| 'Old Hoss." 1t was noticed, ought to mention
| here, that the atmosphere was pure and fresh
enough every morning just before Congress assem-
| bled, and that it was only alter that healthy
body had been sitting an hour or two
that the stink became intOlerable. This con-
dti0n OF the Congressional atmosphere continued
until my friend Thunderbrains, who is man. as
the country well knows, Of extremely delicate
organization, found 1t seriously affecting his
health. to say moth ng Of suf1ocatng his ideas. He
thereupon resolved to 60 sloshing around In
search of the cause. He had purged New Orleans
Of her stinks, made her atmosphere pure, and ban
ished the yellow fever, to the great disgust of her
doctors, who found themselves in fair way Of get
that he could render similarly valuable services for
Congress, Strange, however, as it may seem, my
vigorous friend in s::Hshlpg about for the cause
went In every direction but the right one He
charged to Overheating, to defective construction
to bad ventilation, to want Of space, to need OF
more fresh air from without to optical illusions
overhead, and to o habit members had OF deposit
ing their used-up tobacco guilds (old s0dgers) in
the heat registers. II never for once occurred
to my friend Thunderbrains that his seat was
and had been for several years In the immediate
vicinity Of those occupied by Cakes Ames, Garfield,
Kelley Dawes and other Credit Mobilier saints, or
that the hard smells so oppressive to his sensitive
nature were only the natural result Of their near
proximity.
At the close Of the last session my friend intro.
duced resolution that the Committee on Public
Buildings and Grounds be authorized to have plans
made and certain improvements made in the hall
OF the House Of Representatives 80 as to secure
better
LIGHT, AIR AND MORE ENLARGED ACCOMMODATIONS
for members The resolution passed, and Mr..
Clark, architect OF tho CAPITOL was directed to ex-
anime the subject and report. Now, the improve.
ments suggested by my friend Thunderbrains the
tearing out Of the whole inside SHE'LL as he called
it, expanding the area and letting honorable men,
bers enjoy pure air and the light Of heaven as let
In through the outer windows. Alarmed at what
might be the consequences Of these open win
dows and the dangerous streams Of air that
might draw through them all the rheumatic and
bald-headed members entered q solemn protest
against my friends plan. 1t was also found on
examination that there were certain architectural
drawbacks to my friends plan, inasmuch as 1t
involved the reconstruction OF the outside walls
the great iron Orders overhead stretching entirely
across and being anchored into them. 1t would
also involve cost Of more than q million Of dol
fascinating number Of nice little jobs for some
body's friends The time between sessions was
zoo short to do the work even under modified
plans. and. indeed, could not be done unless Con-
gress or rather the House END Of it, would consent
to hold its sessions elsewhere. In short,
THE PLAN WAS NOT FEASIBLE,
and 80 the clever architect OF the Capitol reported.
1t would appear from this that my friend Thunder
brains went into this matter without a thorough
understanding OF the architectural, not the mill
tary situation and architecturally speaking, found
himself again "bottled up"
Now my vigorous friend Is not the man to give q
thing up once he undertakes 1t, though he could
not see his way clear at Fort Fisher. Returning to
hs this nc EE m a. me
stupid head Of the Committee on Public Buildings
and Grounds He got in his resolution with an
amendment that he serve with the committee for
this special purpose. And here will say in justice
to my friend that he has materially modified
in order that you may understand the matter
thoroughly, that my friend is the brains and en-
ergy. OF this committee-in short the committee
PROLONGED EXAMINATIONS AND DELIBERATIONS
the committee have decided what these alterations
and so-called Improvements shall consist or Here
y e ne des and eudas
windows OF which such fine view OF the Potomac
and hills beyond was had-all this Is to be
the staircase which will have Io. be built at each
end will remain. The solid south wall will then
present an upper and lower section, both Of which
ton viii have acoves for statuary, divided by
deliberately carved and decorated pllhths. The up
per section Will contain panels for pictures painted
by Powell and other great artists These also are
divided by elaboratey worked plinths ah1 Cor Col
o asss the Ss sS9 snss as s ssd T.
sages Iaro"s. the coakroons. Tne SPEAKERS
uS ~ to he removed to the opposite side OF the
hail. and the Speaker himself Is to face south in
| stead OF north. This will be hard on such OF the
| reading clerks as have weak and defective sight
| My friend does not care for that. He has an Old
| score TO paw OF with the Speaker, and prefers to
have the sun shine in his eyes rather than in HIS
| own. This idea will strike the reader as being
| new and somewhat novel.
| SORT OF BULL PEN
is to be Constructed In the gallery over the
Speakers desk for the reporters, who will then be
| compelled to attend to legitimate newspaper busi.
ness and have less to say about the moral ana
political condition OF their superfors the floor.
My friend Thunderbrains declares 1t to be his pro-
| found opinion that both the moral and political
condition OF the country would be improved II
these fellows" nmcaning the reporters were
driven entirely out or the House. II would, at
least he says stop their little lobby Jobs and cause