The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-04-10
FlAvOx OF rmE PRESS.

Ia v WAv " 0AOA0 w ~
FLAvO. OF THE PRESS.
There i danger that next season the
women will add another story to their bon
neta. How l. that for high?
"A Connecticut man svears 70 an OF |
which trois il mile inside of four minuteP,
and Offers 10 enter It for beefkeaks.
An applicant for pair Of boots, At one
Of our shoe stores vas asked what number he
wore, and replied, - soon - he could re-
cover from hi. surpri.e: "Why, two, Of
course"
A Des Mo;nes Iows) char has fitted up
fiddle to run hy steam, and the Mortified
neighbors are looking about for some con-
trivance that will enable them TO run by
steam.
The number Of persons ont Of employ
ment in Philadelphia is appalling. One in
sertion Of q little advertisement for clerk in
. railroad office brought sS5 applicants in
single day.
-"I'm no thirsty," said a boy at work in
the corn-feld "Well, work away" said
his industrious father, "You knaw the
Prophet says. Hoe every one that thirst
eth."
| "a triumph Of the nevspapers." is the
A.tterine epithet applied to the smoking out
of Mr.. Caldwell, BY NO Les an authority
than Alexander Caldwell, ex-United Statee
Senator Pihsburg Commercial.
The Jackson (Mis.) Clarion wants
new name for Colfax county in that State.
Suppose il be called "Apollo." whose name
Is associated with the most renowned lyree
of classic antiquity?
An ensmored Philadelphia has been
convicted of petty larceny for abstracting his
adored ones carte de visite from her photo
graph album; the Judge deciding that to
steal a"carte " vas ~ bad As to steal .
horae.
AT the Vienna Worlds Fair there will
probably be exhibited the greatest collection
Of American loafers, bummers and dead
beats that was ever assembled together on
any occasion since the present geological
epoch commenced.
WEALTHY Americans With handsome
daughters whom they are about to take to
Europe should know that French Law pro-
vides that sons.in-law may claim support
from their fathers-in-law. Paris il full Of
"Iaron.," very handsome and decidedly i'm
pecunious.
Detroit has Darsinian experimenter
who declares that whenever the piano in his
parlor Is left open, and the room il un-
occupied, rat will emerge from his hiding
place and run up and down over tie keys,
evidently delighted with the music pro-
duced thereby. When the piano j, closed
the sagaciop roden. will set himself on the
corner and utter dismal squeaks. :
DOWN in Massachusetts, they have drop
ped the question Is to Who killed Cock
Robin, and substituted the following:
Who voted double pays
| T. said Ben Butter,
| with the soul VI cutler,
| VIII, vss Ben 8 backers
T. n. p. Bank,
am no. in the ranks.
Twas Ben's hacker
| Fashionable female pickpockets in
Gotham now put on third arm attachment
when they 60 out for game. A gentleman
in Broadway stage, on a recent evening,
felt hand cropping in his pocket on the side
next to q veIl-drased woman. At the same
time neat. gloved hand rested on her lap
on the same side, and seising this as she was
leaving the vehicle, he pulled her arm of.
On hearing Of Chaplain Newman's in
tended trip round the world. the Courier
Journal for the Gr-t time regrets the limited
circumference Of this planet.
"A Dubuque testator formally gave, de-
yi.ed, and bequeathed his wearing apparel
10 his wife, for the reason that she had been
accustomed to wear 'em during her married
life.
Let no man with dumb wife ever ap'
proach her in stsalihy manner. A New
Haven man did this to his dumb wife the
other day, and now she is telling him-not
her love-but other things not SO pleasant 10
hear. He frightened her 50 her speech Is
restored-and he is not happy.
A fond father recently wrote: ut gen.
orally takes twenty years Of training to
eradicate the word s'nice" from a woman's
vocabulary. The Falls of Niagara, the
Psalms of David, and the progress of the
man race were all "nice" to my eldest till
she got married."
-Twenty.four dollar for forty Eight dozen
s.stay laces' is one item ofthe Congressional
Stationery account. 1t is corset Item
of course it is.
A German printer named Conrad Luts,
now living in Burlington, Iowa, has received
Official information that be has been drafted
into the Nuremberg landwehr. Inasmuch
a be left Germany when two years old, he
intends remaining in the landwehr be is.
This is the way IN attorney Of Girard
summed up and concluded his argument be-
fore justice Of the peace in that county, in
. case where his client had Lost bull, BY
malicious killing BY the defendant; Gen
tlemen Of the jury; The bull is dead. Hes
gone where the woodbine twineth. Beyond
the realms Of his confne. To that undiscoy-
cred country, from whence no traveller re-
turns."
The local editor on Wilmington,
North Carolina, paper went away, and his
substitute almost went mad trying to hunt
up news. He was happy at last. when this
suggested itself to him: "Just go years
to-day since Brutus gave his friend Julius
Cesar poke under the 9Th rib"
| Everybody does not read the papers. A
buyer from . Western town entered one OF
our Wholesale establishments on the DIST,
and the salesman in attendance, by way Of
| starting conversation, remarked:
"Well, Foster and McElhany have gone
up"
GYou don't say 20 y said the provincial
| With a wise look. "Failed or suspended"
''Su.peoded," responded the clerk. taking
in the situstion.
"What forced 'em to that?" asked the
other.
"The sheriff put in an execution" vas
the dry response.
"Ah, vell," said Rural. wisely wageing
his bead. "there'n he a lot more Of you
iellers going the same way il you don't look