davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22
6tupiditI9s.

Under this head, DR.. Hall, in his Jour-
nal Of Malth, humorously discourses on
the tendency Of the times, as follows:
II is really great wonder that every.
body Is not dead and buried, and the
world itself used up entirely, if the thous.
andth part OF what is told US about
microssopical and other discoveries,
so. called, 10 true. One man will have it
that the glorious Union over which tho
stripes and stars float so proudly will
soon become depopulatcd, because r..
spectacle people don't have children;
another has discovered myriads Of bugs
in the chatelaines and waterfalls of the
ladies', boring into their skulls and suck.
ing out all the remaining brains OF the
dear delightfus. A German saran now
tells us that every sip Of tea We take is
full Of oily globules which get into the
lungs direct weaken them, set up u
cough, and the person dies of consump.
ton. Another man has found that the
purest spring water, clear as crystal to
all appearance, If let alone will deposit II
sediment which generates typhoid fever;
hence he proposes that everybody shall
quit drinking water Another says that
bread has SO much lime in it that it Is
turning VS. all 10 bone, and makes us stiff
in the joints, that being the reason We
have no 1.-THE, sprightly old men nova
days; hence we are full Of limps and
rheumatics long before our time, there.
fore we had better quit eating bread al.
together, and live ON rice and sago and
tapioca. The water cure folk assure us
that pork and beans aud ham and eggs
are full OF abominabe triching. aid that.
il one is swallowed and gets fairly nestled
into the system. he. she or it will breed
million more in short time, and that
roast beef has juvenile tape worms in il.
And here come Tom, Dick, and Harry.
all in q row, loaded down with micro
scopes and spy glasses which show as
plain as day that the air is swarming with
living monsters and putrid poisons. which
fly into the mouth and crawl up the nose
and creep into the ear; hence it is death
to breathe such. pestilential air, and that
the best way is to keep the mouth shut.
plug up the nose, and ram cotton into
the ears.
Ever so many learned professional
gentlemen have been torturing poor
figures for years to make them tell the
stupendsus fb that everybody is either
crazy or soon will be; that the annual
increase is ten per cent, consequently in
eleven years everybody will be crazy, and
more too.
The fact is that the people who spend
their time Matching out these tomfoolc-
ries, ought to be put to work and be
made to earn an honest living. This
world has been pretty we'll taken care OF
for some thousands Of years, increasing
in comfort aud wealth and life, the aver.
aye length Of which last has doubled
within two centuries, and the population
perhaps increased three fold aud the
presumption is that the Great Maker of
all will so arrange all the antagonistio
forces Of life tor the future as eventually
to make "thc wilderness and solitary
place to be glad, and the desert to rejoice
and blossom rs the rose," and the race
be happy still.
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22

Special notices double the above rates. Edi-
tovial notices 20 cents per line for the first and
10 cents for each additional insertion, All
transient advertisements cash In advance.
Marriage and obituary notices not to exceed
h lines free, over five 20 cents per line.
Cards or communications of personal
l,bar,cter f admissible at all, double the usual
..tes and strictly in advance.
Announcing candidates for Congress or
satate offices. $500. County officers, $1,000.
Editorial notices, % cents per line.
Yearly advertisements, paid quarterly. in
Il &a,ance. Legal and transient advertisements
II hp maid for when left at the office.
81 All Job Work, to be paid for on delivery.
81 IJIrcss all letters and communications to
Us. DUNHAM, Editor and Proprietor.
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22
POET
A Woman's Dream

Wilt thou begin thy life again
0woman of the whitening hair
Become a child, with shining train
OF fangel- children IN the siry
Wilt feel thy mothers kisses press,
Those cradled warmly at her ieet?
What find my vanished EdenY les,
All. yes, my God 1t was SO SWEET
Wilt thou in blssful faith resume
Thy sire fond shelter as of old,
While, breathing innocent perfume,
The white flowers ofthy heart unfold?
Back to thy yernal happiness,
Fly like bird on pinions heetY
Might but that joy eontnue,-yes
All, yes, my God 1t was so sweet
" Wilt thou unlearn thy sorry lore,
And shyly keep life's leaves between,
And feeding youngest hopes once more,
Forget the winters thou hast seen?
The daisied banks, the dove Of peace,
The morning freshness, round thy track
Shall these return =? - My God ah, yes
All but the wayside graves give back -
Have. then, thy wish Thy steps retrace
Flowers, perfume, song, be thine once more
Yet shall time lead thee to the place
OF tears MS surely before.
Rekindlc Passions fires, and view
Their ever baleful radiance -
hat light those earth born flames anew
All. no, my Savior Take me hence ~
Il From the French.
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22

ES- Said distinguished politician to
his son: Look at ne! ] began as Al
alderman, and here ! am at the top OF the
:rce. and what 10 my reward! Why.
when die my son will bo the greatest
scoundrel In the United States. To
this the young hopeful replied: Yes
dad, when You die, and not till then. !"
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22

E1" All! john" said = sympathiz-
ing friend to man who was just too late
to catch the train, "y0u did not run fast
enough Yes, l did, said John. II
ran fast enough, but did not start soon
cn,ugh
The Van Buren press., 1873-04-22
VICK'S
ORAL GUIDE FOR 1873

u,HE Guide is now published Quarterly, q cent:
nnys for the year four numbers, VIII ch is not
h.lfthe cost, Those who afterwards send money to
the cunt Of One Dollar or more for Seeds may als1
order Twenty five cents worth extra tho price PAID
The January Number is beautiful giving plans for
making Rural Homes, Designs for Dining Table
m"cnrntions Window Gardens, H., and containing
a mass of information invaluable to the lover ol
flowers. A. .,u,.a n.nor
.,,,,n Gva hundred Engrnvings and superb Colored
piati and Chrome Cover. The first edition OF 1--WE
hnndrsd thousand Just printed in English and der'
man. and ready to send out; "
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
A Pickpocket's Petition -Queer Sus-
gestions.

ga Pickpocket" writes to the
New York Tribune as follows:
Please advise your readers to al
ways leave their names and address
ses in their pocket-books. 1t fire.
quently happens in our business
that we come into possession of
porte monnaies containing private
papers and photographs which we
would be glad to return, but we
have no means Of doing SO. 1t is
dangerous to carry them about-so
we are forced to destroy them. l
remember an instance where | met
with serious trouble because l could
not make up my mind to destroy a
picture of a baby which / found. in
the pocket-book of gentleman
which came. into my hands in the
way of business on the Third av-
enue road. l had lost a baby my
self, the year before, of the same
age as this one, and l would have
given all had for such Picture.
There was no name IN. the porte
monlaie, and no way of finding out
who was the owner, so, like a fool,
l advertised it, and got shadowed
for it by the police. Tell your read
ers to give us fair show to be de-
cent-and always leave their ad-
dresses in their pocket-books. We
want to live and let live.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
Tho Beer Question.

From the Cincinnati Gazette.
This contribution to the question
of beer and it's cost is from the
Tolksblatt.:
ga hard-working man-as, for
instance, a bricklaycr, mason, OF
blacksmith--drinks about eight
glasses Of beer daily, at an expense
Of forty cents per day, or $3.50 per
week. If the price Of beer were on.
ly three cents he would pay but "a
cents per day, or sl.6s per week.
This weekly saving Of $l.l2 would
amount to more than s5e.24 per
year, which would 60 to the benefit
Of himself or his family"
Eight glasses of beer daily, at
five cents a glass, cost each week
$3.50, and each year STAG. We sup
pose this is more than one-sixth of
the yearly earnings of the average
"hard-working man." 1t is proba-
bly, two-thirds as much as the "hard-
working man" pays for rent, and
twice as much as he pays for clothes.
1t would enable him to take a six
weeks rest each year, if he saved it,
or pay his expenses to New York
and back three times, or almost to
Europe and back. 1t would buy
him a good lot of ground not very
far removed from the city, or if put
out at interest would bring him in
as much as he gets for two or three
days labor. 1t would buy him
three times as much bread as he
could eat, or would probably suffice
to pay his meat bill. Are not these
facts as well worth considering as
the benefits that would result from
saving two cents on 4 glass2
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
THE POSTAL CARDS.
rom the New York Mail
correspondence Cleveland Herald

| From the New York Mail
In very few days the postal card
system of correspondence will be-
come verify, and long-deferred
dreams of a minium rate of postage
will have been measurably realized.
The new arrangement is destined
undoubtedly to work immense good
and in many directions not yet re-
vealed. There is scarcely any class
OF the community which will not in
some degree be benefited by the
system, and to certain branches of
business the postal card will be a
vcritable godsend. The statistical
and financial results Of the expert.
ment will be awaited with consider
able interest; but, whatever they
may reveal on the question of gov
ernmental profit or loss, it is not at
all likely that the people are going
to let the Postofiice Department go
back on itself and on them by incf.
ficiency in executing its new trust,
or indifference to any reasonable
popular demand connected there
with. The system means cheap
postage in its widest significance
and application; for the great bulk
of correspondence is Of kind
which may be brought within pur-
view Of the postal card scheme.
Hereafter, for single cent, one can
send any message or conundrum or
information-ifit be but brief-to
whomsoever he pleases and wher-
ever in the Union tho party may
live. Circulars, cards, invitations,
bills, duns, notifications, pricc-lists,
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
Legally Killed.

Pittsburgh brings out the first
authenticated case of man mur-
dered by jury service. Mr.. Henry
Duff is probably not the only un-
happy individual whose life has
been sacrificed to the abuses Of the
jury system, but in his case the re-
lation of cause and effect-the jury
box and the cotiin-seems to be es-
tablished beyond question. Mr..
Duff was summoned to try case of
murder, and the jury did not readily
agree upon a verdict. They were
shut up two nights in the den ap-
propriatcd to the purpose of punish
ing conscientious jurymen, and when
released, the gentleman in question
went home and died from disease
contracted in the court house. 1t is
not surprising that, under the stim-
ulus of this unfortunate occurrence,
the local papers are demanding
moro humane treatment for the luck
less people who happen to be called
to serve the State in the imminent
deadly breach Of tho jury room.-
Whatever may be thought about
the substitution of other penalties
than the gallows for the crime of
murder, there is hardly room for
two opinions as to the expediency
of abolishing capital punishment Of
disagreeing jurors. - Chicago Post.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09

daily-quotations, friendly messages
land the other sort, for that matter)
modified erotics, and pretty nearly
everything else, except sermons,
orations and wifely admonitions,
may now be scattered all over the
country, "thick as autumnal leaves
in Valambrosa." 1t is unnccessa-
ray to suggest that the new system
furnishes no facilities like those of
the sealed letter for keeping secrets;
on the contrary, the postal cards
will resemble Mark Twain in their
chronic habit of letting information
ooZe out in spontaneous and pro-
miscuous way. Lovers and other
such visionery spectators will learn
all this, however, by educ course of
mail" and unless able to moderate
the expression Of their fond imagin
ings, and give over evolving non
sense from their inner conscious
ness, the postal card will be of no
use to them, but, con the contrary
quite the reverse"
But there is one particular in
which the new system may be held
worthy of the warmest welcome,
aud this is as an educator in the art
of letter writing. The same pro-
pcnsity to diffuseness which marks
the popular style Of talking is equal
ly characteristic Of the average
American letter writer. There is
among us altogether too much OF
that sort Of twaddle Spoken and
wrltten) which, to quote the poet
Young, resembles "ocean into tenn
pest wrought to watt feather or
drown fly" A minority of our
business men may indeed be asham-
ed to know how to write compact
letter, but greater portion of all
the correspondence that passes
through the mails is of a kind
which, if the words were numbered
or weighed and charged according.
ly, would pay mint of money for
postage, and thus be compelled to
correct its own evils. Let us hope
that the discount no made by Gov
ernment (say G63 per cent? for very
short letters will have good effect
in curbing the epistolary Pegasus.
and reforming the carlessness and
ignorance which, as a rule, find ex.
preston in needessly prolix letters
From journalistic standpoint We
must look upon the new system as
being a sort Of bow in the clond.
which promises future immunity
to our profession from the deluge o1
words, words, words-which are
not things.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09

A therapeutist Of London thinks
he has discovered an infallible cure
for rheumatism, namely, the admin
istration of hot sand baths. He
claims that the advantage of this
mode of treatment consists, especl-
ally, in the fact that it does not sup
press pcrspiration like the hot water
bath, but rather increases it; and
another advantage it possesses is,
that it does not interfere with the
respiration of the patient, as does
the steam bath or Turkish bath. 1t
is asserted that the body can endure
the influence of such a bath for a
much longer time, and much high
er temperature can also be applied.
1t can be used for infants, and per-
mits of easy application to a part or
to the whole body. If this remedy
shall prove efficacious for so serious
an ailMcnt, it will indeed be boon
to a large class of sufferers.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
A Rare Chance
TO OBTAIN AN IMPROVED
Singer Sewing Machine.

Iwould respectfully announce to the inhabit-
ants of Buchanan county that have effected an
arrangement with an eastern party. whereby can
dispose of second hand Sewing Machines al pficcs
which enable me to offer special Inducements 10
persons having machines which 40 ho' give .heM
satisfaction. and which they wish to turn IN as
part payment toward Singer Machines, BeneV
inp that this announcement will come like a goOd
turn of Providence to many pcrpleAeu ana
nervous mind, made so by having cecn trled
and to,mented, even nigh unto distraction, by
irving to Use the complicated, hard-runnlng, SLOW
and noisy machines that have been crowded upon
them by some agent. whose continued stay o.
several days or a few weeks, and large offered
discounts seemed to indicate that at last resort
they would put their machines at price which
they could board out before the machlne wouio
become a wreck. Iwould say that snail keep
constantly on hand the various styles OF Singer
Machines, and invite ali, whether they have ola
machines to trade or not to call at the singer OF
fee next door to the bridge, South side Main ST.,
and examine the Singer before purchasing any
other machine. Persons wishing for amachina TO
use in tailoring or light leather work, Will hnd
the MEDIUM Singer the best machine yetlnNeht-
ed. for such purposes. Heavy Manufacturing
Machines supplied at any time. The latest I'M,
proved attachments kept constantly on hand and
furnished Mt reasonable prices. Needles, &C.
for all machines commonly in use Cotton ana
Linen thread. best adopted to Sewing Machlne
use. for sale in large or small quantities; Inc
Singer Manufacturing Cos Celebrated silks, III
all colors and different sized spools: for family
sewing and shoemakers use. Liberal Instructions
given to purchasers of Singer Machines. Ma.
chimes dcllNefcQ IN any paFt VI tiic So"i'. 'i'o
racks furnished free gratis, for shipping machines
by rail or overland wagons. thus averting danger
Of breAkage by moving d machine from one point
to another.
sRVY 4 SINGER N.1 CUIVE,'
and thus connect yourseT nth
tie "XaPpy Family" Of
ore,. q Million!
S. NJ OSGOOD, Agent.
Independence. Feb 12. 1873. 32-u
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
Crossing tho Pacific in a Cockle-
Shel1.

In about two weeks an attempt
will be made from this bay to navi-
gate the Pacific ocean which has
not been surpassed by any of the
daring teats accomplished on the
waters of the Atlantic. 1t is moth
ing more nu' less than voyage
from here to the coast Of Japan in
one of the smallest sailing craft
af1oat on the waters of our kay.
The sloop Dolphin, by which this
perilous voyage is to be made, is in
fact Il mere cockle-shell, measuring
only thirty feet in length from stem
to stern, tn feet beam, and three
feet three inches depth Of hold. She
is built sharp at both ends, and is
capable of carrying about eight tons.
The Dolphin is not much longer
than an ordinary sized whale boat,
only instead of being open she has
been decked over. There are two
hatchways in the deck; one, the
main hatchway, being in the center
of the deck; the other over what is
intended to represent the cabin.
The cabin is simply three hunks
built in triangle, the hunks form.
ing the sides of the vessel and join
ing the feet; the bunk forming the
base Of the triangle extending from
side to side. Above the latter there
is still another bunk, between which
and the deck there is barely room
for mans body. A man-hole in
the deck Immediately astern of the
hatchway has been provided for the
helmsman. The deck is flush with
the gunwale.
The Dolphin was built in San
Francisco, and is commanded by
Capt. Davis. In her voyage to Jap
an she will be manned by four men,
including her commander. She will
be supplied with water and provls-
ions to serve six months, the supply
Of the former amounting to 800 gal
Ions. Her cargo will consist of two
tons Of coarse salt, implements for
hunting the otter and curing the
skins, and provisions for the cruise.
This hazardous voyage is under
taken by these hardy and daring
men for the purpose OF hunting the
sea otter, the skin Of which is very
valuable on account of the excel
lcnce of the fur. The<sca otter is
exceedingly plenty off the coast of
Japan, and the adventures expect
to succeed in securing full cargo
Of skins. With fair wind and
weather, Capt. Davis expects to
make the passage in six weeks time,
rs the Dolphin is fast sailer, be-
ing regarded as one Of the fastest
vessels, large or small, on the Pa
cific coast. He has every confidence
Of making a safe and quick voyage.
The little vessel he regards as be-
ing safer than larger vessel. She
IS certainly as staunch as vessel
we'll can be, and has been thorough
y overhauled for the present voy-
.ge. A few months ago she was
engaged in cruising around the
wreck of the Sacramento, off Sacra-
nento reef. Before sailing for Jap
IN, she will run down to Ensenadas,
md from thence to Coronado ISL
.nds and back, with a party of Off
,ials and others interested in the
.ecent purchase of the islands. The
ate and fortune ofthe Dolphin will
,e carefully watched.-iSan Diego
Gul.) Union,
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
And now my dear friends, what

And now my dear friends, what
doth she do? She spreadeth abroad
her wings. Thar she is right up
in the sky! her wings stretched,
like the shadow OF mighty rock in
a dry land. Thar below is the lit
tie eagles a-standing on the last
stick, the last prop holdin' on with
their trembling feet like grim
death, while fiery billows roll be-
neath-afeard to fly, afeard to stay,
afearcd not to do somethiny-kuow-
ing that thar is deep purcipice,
where the worm dieth not and the
fire is not quenched-knowing thar
is place where the streets run
with milk and honey, and whar
thar's no weepin', no mourning, no
gnashing of THAR teeth-knowing
they hain't got nothing here, nor
won. have nothing thar unless they
stir themselves and fly upward
Why don't they fly upward? Thar
they trcmble and shiver and cry
out, and want to fly but dassent-
waiting for a convenient season
which never comes, and thar above
all is the old eagle a-spreading
above Of her wings and looking
down to see if they won't do some
thing-like men and women, instead
of staying thar like statues to be
waited about by every breeze-and
thar she is a-spreading abroad her
wing until at last she gives one
great squawk Of wrath, and fops
down on the whole brood and knocks
the last pin from under 'cm. And
whar are they? Yes, and whar are
you, my bretheren and sisters?
Whar are you? Some a tluttering
like wounded doves down, down to
the lake whar they cry for drop
of water to cool the parched tongue,
whar Lazarus was in poor Dives
bosom-or a mounting up on the
wings of cagles-whar they shall
run and not get weary, whar they
shall walk and not faint. Neverthe.
less, Notwithstanding, fur which.
And that brings us to another
pint of our discourse, which is He
taketh 'em. Thar's people with
mighty taking ways and thar's Off
GERS that take you to Jail, and thar's
boys that takes apples and peaches
which things they oughtent-and
thar's people which takes you in
which isn't meant for the good uns
which takes strangers in and keers
'em-like unto the Gommorians
when Lots wife was taken into the
house like pillar of salt and divl-
ded into four quarters and sent in
to the land of Israel, for which the
anger burnt agin 'em for the hurt
of the daughter Of Israel was sore.
But he taketh them-I don't
mean the eagles-and leads them to
near pastures and beside still wa
ters, whar ther's no more sighin'
and sutferin' no more weepin' and
partin'-tur
parents and children thar shall meet.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09
parents and children thar shall meet.
Parents and children thar shall meet!
Parents and children thar shall meet!
Shall meet to part no more
On Canaan.s happy shore!"

Imagine all this uttered in the
most impassioned manner, the tears
at times streaming down the preach
er's facd, and the quotations-psalm
book, book, Mother Goose or Frank
Inns aphorisms-chanted with a
rich, full voice, and you can get a
glimpse of Father Carter in his
palmy days.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-05-09

\ story is told of a French gen.
tlcman, who, having lost the bulk of
his property through the rascallties
of friends in whom he trusted,
crowned it all by the loss of his
mental balance, and for the remain
der of his days found his only de-
light in riding in omnibuses and
passing fares from passengers to
the driver, taking care when change
was returned to add to it a SOU or
two from his own pocket, and watch
the effect on the receiver. In nine
cases out of ten, as the story goes,
the passenger, counting over his
change, and finding, as he supposed,
that the driver had cheated himself,
would look bewildered for mo-
mcnt, and then pocket the change
with Il quiet chuckle. The special
delight of the lunatic was satisfying
himself in this way that nine-tenths
of his fellow men were dishonest, it
they only had the opportunity.