Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-09-27
A LODGES PRIVATE CLOSET.

ioohA tolle up clean ana nice, ana 1t
was resolved unanimously that Mrs. X.
should be employed to do the job.
After the meeting adjourned, the
guardian, who knew the inquisitive
character of Mrs. X. procured billy
goat and placed him in closet which
was kept as reservoir for the secret
things. He then informed the lady of
the wishes of the lodge, and requested
her tn come early next morning as he
would then be a. leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be done
Morning came, and with it Mrs X.
with her broom, brushes, pals, tubs,
etc., prepared and armed for the Job
and found the guardian waiting for
her.
Now, madam" said he, "Ill tell
you what we want done, and how we
came to employ you. The brothers
said it was difficult to get any body to
DO the job, and not to meddle with the
secrets in that little closet; we have
lost the key and cannot find it to lock
the door. 1 assured them that you
could be depended on"
Depended on.' said she, "I guess
I can. My poor dead and gone hus-
band, who belonged to the Free Ma
sons, or Anti Masons, 1 don't know
which, used to tell Inc all the secrets of
the concern, and when he showed me
all the marks the gridiron made when
he was initiated, and told me how they
fixed poor Morgan, I never told living
soul to this day. If nobody troubles
your closet to find out your secrets till
l DO, they'll lay there till they rot-they
will"
81 thought so, said the guardian,
"and now / want you to commence in
that corner, and give the room decent
cleaning, and have pledged my word
and honor for the fidelity of your prom
Use; now don't go into that closet" and
then left the lady to herself
No sooner had she heard the sound
Of his foot on the last step of the stairs
than she exclaimed, Don't go into
that closet I'll warrant there is grid
iron, or some nonsense, just like the
anti ti-Masons for all the world, I'll be
bound. l will just take a peep and
nobody will be any the wiser, as 1 can
keep it to myself.
Suiting the action to the word, she
stepped lightly to the forbidden closet
turned the button which was no
sooner done, than bah! went the billy
goat, with spring toregain his liberty,
which came near upsetting her ladyship.
Both started to the door, but it was
filled with implements for house-clean-
ing, and all were swept clear from their
position down to the bottom of the
stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned
by such an unceremonious, coming
down stairs, drew half the town to wit
ness Mrs. KS efforts to get from the
pile of pals, tubs, brooms and brushes
into the street.
Who should be first to the spot but
the rascally door keeper, who after re-
leasing the goat, which was cripple
for life, ard uplifting the rubbish that
bound the good woman to earth, anx-
ously inquired if she had been taking
the degrees.
"Taking the degrces!' exclaimed
the lady. If you call tumbling from
the top to the bottom of the stairs,
scared to death, taking things by de-
grees, l have them, and if you frighten
folks us You have me, and hurt them
to boot, I'll warrant they'll make as
much noise as l did
"I hope you did not open the closet
madam said the door-keeper.
"Open the closet! Eve ate the apple
she was forbidden! If you want wo-
man to do anything, tell her not to do
it, and sEe'll do it certain. could not
stand the temptation. The secret was
there. wanted to know it. I opened
the door, and out popped the tarnal
critter right into my face. I thought l
was goner, and l broke for the stairs,
with Satan butting me at every jump
1 fell over the tub, and got down the
stairs as you found us, all in heap"
"But, Madam" said the doorkeeper,
"you are in possession of the great
secret of the order, and you must go
up and be initiated in the regular
way"
Regular way!" exclaimed the lady
and do you suppose am going
through the tarnal place again, and ride
that ere critter without a bride or a
ladys saddle? No, never! I don't want
nothing to do with that man that rides
it. I'd look nice perched on billy
goat, wouldn'tI? No never! Til never
go nigh it again, nor your hall nuther
If can prevent it, no lady shall ever
join the Odd Fellows. Why, Id soon
er be Free Mason; and be broiled on
q gridiron as long as fire could be kept
under it, and pulled from garet to eel
lar with II halter, in pair of old breech-
es and slippers, just as my poor hus-
band was; he lived over it, but never
could outlive such anotherride as I took
to-day"
70 A young lady recently presented
herlover with an elaborately constructed
pen-wiper, and was astonished the next