The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-11-13
Travelling Females.
HOW ONE OF THEM TORMENTED A MAN.

an Quad" of the Detroit Free Press, "took
charge of lady" on railroad car the other
day, and thus details his woes
Perhaps the man meant to do me favor
when he came up to me at the depot with a
spinster hugging his arm, and wanted to know
if I wouldn't take charge of her from Chicago
\ to Detroit. Many men think a railroad Jour
ney is rendered really pleasant by the compan-
ionship of an unprotected female. She insist
ed on counting her band-box and travelling
bag as we got seated. She counted. There
were just two. counted and made no more
nor. less. Then she wanted her parasol put
into the rack, her shawl folded and her band"
box counted again. I counted it. There was
Just exactly one band-box of it. AS we got
started she wanted to know if was sure that
we were on the right road to Detroit. was
sure. Then she wanted her travelling bag
counted: I counted it. By this time il !s she she
wanted the window up, and asked me if it was
not hot day. said it was. Then she felt
her money and found it was safe, though she
was sure that she had lost it. While counting
it she related how Mrs. Graf, in going East
FIVE years ago, lost her purse and S9. She
wound up the story by asking me if it wasn't
hot day. / said it was. Then she wanted the
band box counted, and I counted him.. lie
was still one band-box There was a pause of
FIVE minutes, and then she wanted a drink. l
got it for her. Then she wanted to know if we
were on the right road to Detroit. l assured
her of the fact. The brakeman here called out
the name of a station in such 6. distinct man
ner that the lady wanted me to 60 and see what
the name really was I went. 1t was Calumet
She wanted to know if was sure that 1t was
Calumet put my hand on my sacred heart
and assured her that [ would perish sooner
than deceive her. BY this time she wanted the
travelling bag counted, and I counted her. She
figured up as before. had just finished count
ing when she wanted to know if | didn't think
it was hot day. l told her I did. We got
along very we'll for the next half hour, as got
her to narrating story of how she got lost in
the woods eighteen years before but as soon
as she finished it she wanted to know if was
sure we were on the right road to Detroit. |
told her hoped to perish with the liars if we
were not, and she was satisfied. Then the par
asol fell down she wanted me to change ten
cent piece, and the window had to 60 down.
When we got back to Marshall she wanted to
know if the place wasn't named after court
martial, and whether it was barely possible
that the station was Miles instead of Marshall.
The handbook was counted, and he was just
one Then the window went up, and she asked
me if, in my opinion, it wasn't hot day. L
replied that it was. Then she related story
about her uncle, and another about young
lady who had been dead several years. During
the day / counted the handbook three hundred
times; raised the window thirty times; said it
was hot day until my tongue was blistered /;
arranged the parasol twenty-one times; got her
sixteen drinks of water; and inquired the
names of thirteen stations. She said 1t was so
nice to have a man in whom a stranger could
place confidence, and dared not reply for fear
of bringing out another story When we
reached Detroit I counted the things three
times over, helped her of the cars, got hack,
directed her to hotel and told her the name
of the street, price, name of the landlord, head
waiter, porter and cook; assured her she was
not robbed or murdered; that it had been
hot day that Detroit had population of
100000; that the fall term of school had COM
menced; that all Detroit hack drivers were
honest and obliging; that it was quite warm
Poor woman! | hope the landlord didn't get
out of patience with her artless ways.