Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-08-14
BREVITIES.

! MAINE mas mop palCu Oh clSHty dCIeo,
near Peru.
CAN a tailor's child be said to die of
sheer neglect?
WHEN man is dead, and can't, we
read his words, 81 WILL &c.
LIVERPOOL, Ohio, settled in 1929, has
never lost building by fire.
IT is never proper to stone your neigh
Dor, but you may rock his baby.
| A Com dated 1864 is the historical
pocketpiece Of a lady at Rhinebeck, N.
TINE is short, and if your cross be
heavy remember you have not far to
carry it.
THERE is nothing that so refnes the
face and mind as the presence OF great
thoughts.
GovERNEss to pupil: Where does tea
come from? Naughty little boy: Out OF
the teapot.
THE sale of the Minnehaha lands,
Minnesota, realized over $250,OOO. There
were 5000 acres.
A LEAvENWORTH statiOner was asked
the other day if he had "any overalls for
letters" He had
If you are short of ice during the warm
weather, you can always get nice carte
at the photographers.
A HoBoKEN editor being challenged,
sent word in reply: ''When | want to die,
| can shoot myself"
| 4 LATELY married couple came near
separating on account of a squabble over
their wedding presents
THE .Saratogi0n says that not one per
son in fifteen who comes to Saratoga
drinks of the spring water
ELEVEN Baptist converts have been
in prison in Kew, Russia, for almost
year, on account of their faith.
AT concert the other day one of the
vocalists found her voice thick; she
strained it. but without good effect.
IT takes twenty-five cents worth of ice
| to keep ten cents worth Of beef from
! spelling until dinner time in Texas.
OCEAN shells don't murmur. A New
York man says that it is only such sound
as one can hear by placing the mouth Of a
| jug to his ear.
ANup-town young lady, speaking of one
Of her aversions, said the severest thing
on record, "He's almost perfect brute
he only lacks instinct"
| A YOUNG man recently popped the
question in new Kentucky Court House,
and now boasts Of having held the first
court" in the building.
| A BOsTON ieweler has on exhibition
what he claims to be the largest diamond
| in the United States. 1t weighs thirty-two
carats, and has yellow tinge.
AN enterprising dog in Utica secured
samples from the clothing of eight light
ning-rod agents within half an hour after
thunder storm the other day.
| A HUSBAND and wife recently set sail
| from Derby for Glasgow, Scotland, Oh the
way to Edinburgh, the wife having on
her knee her thirty-third baby.
| THE St Louis Democrat says that city
invested over 100000 in the Louisville
| library lottery, and not One-tenth of that
| sum was drawn by ticket-hOlders
AN animal known as the Ttouoy,
! kind of Armadilo has been discovered
near the battle ground below Vancouver,
! 1t is about the size of a yearling bear
4 YOUNG lady at Portland, Oregon, re-
| Gently broke her engagement because her
| lover, while taking her to ride, quarreled
with a gatekeeper over the amount Of toll.
! A DETROIT man was masquerading on
| the streets as a genuine Modoc, and was
! ducked by a party of patriotic newsbOys
intent upon avenging the Candy murder
! THE grange has reached Vermont The
Ethan Allen Grange Of the Patrons Of
! Husbandry is the name of the first one,
organized in Milton, Chittenden County
| ACCORDING to the last market reports,
cheese is strong and active" We feared
! as much. According to the same reports,
whisky is going down." We should say
! it was.
JACOB G. LARGE was shot, sCalped and
| left for dead by Indians, in Western Kan
sas, some months ago. He arrived in
Leavenworth recently, on his way to his
former home in Minnesota.
WHEN Shakespeare wrote about pa
| thence on a monument, did he refer to
doctors patents9 No How do you
know he did not? Because you always
| find them under a monument.
Four toy balloons, tied together, were
sent up at Peoria on the Fourth and
| landed in Mackville, one hundred miles
away. They were identified by the cards
Of the owners attached to them.
SUCCESSFUL cattle breeders in Europe
| give molasses constantly to fatten cattle
and mich COWS. A large German farmer
gives pint day mixed with oil-cake to
his cows, largely increasing their milk.
WE are told of gentleman in this sec
ton who, though only twenty ght years
of age, recently married his fourth wife
The three previous ones died, each leav-
ing two children.-COlunabus (Ga.) tSaoa
! A TRAVELLER in Wales, seeing a sign
over the door with this one word
"Agorsequr dere," asked the woman what
she sold, when she said she did not sell
anything, but that ''agues was cured
here"
WHEN a crowd Of jayhawkers started
disturbance in Texas church, the other
day, the preacher raised up shotgun and
said: William Dello, sit down, or III
make it painful for you" William sat
down, and was as quiet as a lamb
| A REMARKABLY dirty man stopped in
front of a small boy sitting on fence, ex-
pecting to have some fun by chatting him.
He said: 'How much do you weigh 2"
The answer was, ''Well, about as much as
you would if you were washed''
| A PORTLAND man who was caught fish
ing for trout on another mans land, the
other day, completely silenced the owner,
who demonstrated, with the majestic an.
swer: 'Who wants to catch your trout?
Pm only trying to drown this worm''
To STAIN WooD A DARK MAHOGANY
CoLoR-Boil half pound of madden
and two ounces of log-wood chips in
gallon of water, and brush over twice
| w HI Ito hot. whom ~, ,I,>lo