, 1873-12-14


But s4all loso you-'ops y99u through IT al1.
! M1n1AM K1nTLANp.
| HUNIOR.
| I.atlios, this winter, will wear the same thfnrt
! they wore last yoar-tf tlcy can't buy Others
! ~. NJ. 9. a. aro tho initials OF \ young lad1
n Now Hampshire. Several young mon aro anr.
| ioug TO join hor.
| -spicor snys Tho difference between tho 11oosat
! Tunnel mud m oystor is, TINT Quo Ia wholesome
| and tho other some ho1o.
a Michigan manufacturer has Is, 900 broom.
handles roady for shipment. This ought to sol
husbands thinking about coming honle oarly.
The young mnn who boaHtol he could mar
~ any girl ho pleased, found TINT ho couldn't
please any.
Ia now instrument. !" says tho Paris Figaro
vented by IN ingenious savant. It yarioB viii
| IAiermonsctre."
An Iowa matron occupies tho position ot
| mother-in-llw to sixteen nblect mon. And pco
| World
"a disconsolato husband, describing his run
away wife, describes her as folows: Blue
eyes, red latr, prominent nose, dressed in yellow
kids, bronze boots. and u bluo sash."
"a young Indy snys that d gentleman ought
never to foei discouraged when Gle !" momontous
question" is ncgativcd by tho object Of hia
choice, 'f for i'll lifo. as in grammar, we always
| decline boforc we conjugate."
paper. "a would I'LL bottso with bod-bug poison.
plneo It in the baek room aud libel il Old Rye
there would 9s ee so many innesta In tho next
have to Issue supplements"
When Boss Tweod's occupation was asked
by the pententiary oilicials he correctly replied
Statesman; j for isn't hc the stato4 man for
tho next twelve years.-llemphis Aoaianc2e
-Politenees pnys. a New York street-car con-
duotor, who recently Bnid " Yes, Madam" to a
Indy, Inns been presented with d now overcoat
| and thoy talk OF d statue to him.
Statistics show that In the mountainous re-
gionB Of Switzerland and Savoy. doaf m,1tos ara
more numerous than in fiat countries. This is,
perhaps. because Nature makes the mountains
peak for thon.
Intending to be pnthetio, tie editor Of ths
hlcOonnollBville Herald wrote of "a beautiful
girl stranded in gale" but tho flendiHh com
poslto'r SGT ~ It up ~ beautiful girl straddod on
a., la,l:. Ils editors pathos was suppressed.
- New orloans jnryman was anlsed by tho
Judge il he eyer road the papors. Ho replied:
.. Yes. yer Honor; but il you'll lot mo so this
timo I'll nevor do 80 my moro"
Tho journal says Sioux City Ecntlomnn
knocked lis wife down with n billet OF wood
Thursday night. He is great, strappine fel-
low, while she is small woman; but his ex.
cnso for striking her with tho billet was that hs
ia too much of gontleman to strike woman
with his fist.
"A gentleman built wing to his house. con.
Stating Of collar, library on tho ground floor
anl,a bedroom abovo. lie asked tic opinion Of
q friend about it, who ropliod: '1y dear fol.
low, nm sorry. to zee you hare lost your
sousos." "How? ?" exclaimed the other, HWhv.
a bon vivant and II literary man, as YOU. are. to
read fead eyer your vino and to sleep over YOU
"A Beaver County, Pennsylvania, man threat.
ems to bring suit against young farmer wha
pesslets "a sitting up with his daughter Sunday
nights tlii O'clock IN tho morning. The. storr
lug waell.day his eal aint Of no aceount; ' SEQ 60
ondly, that II they could only use two chairs
tho ono they do use wouldn't cost 10 much to
repairs.
The Rerie1o says: IA Pooria lcttor.car
rier, after walking nine mios and delivering th,
Bame letter to 1877 men, mono Of whom would re.
cause Pocahontas yas auch o fool Us to catch
tho old mans war club"
-"1f put my money in tho savings
tic now'yarrvod "ochF said sh0a Lis frIead Head1
"euro an II you put it in today you can draw L
-"Wats Ito s masfor tls thero' ~ Alieo5 ot''o Don't
It replied the ttlc dna. % S WY, % shey doRt ~
even squeak when go out fora walk
Lady-Fathor snys TINT wo girls must DO Geo,
nomical, for thu panic has struck him. What
does your father say? Second Young Lady-Oh,
ho don't say much you know pa is 50 SLOW that
don't believe holt hear tue panic is in town till
A wife wanted her husband to sympathizs
with her In d feminine quarrel, but he refused.
enying, :" I've lived long enoughto learn that ono
woman ta just Al good an another, If not better"
" Aud ]" retortcd tho exaspoEatcl wife, "hays
llyod long enough to loarn that one man is iusa
as bad as another, If not worse!"
DANDERH1Es.
What aro you going to give your wife's mothe,
Nov that skating has ect In care should la
takon to avoid tue ar-holcB. It iH surprising
the amount Of moisture an air-holo contaiiip.
--ln Wow OF our war rr0apoeta it ia painful Ia
Wlt1soss tho foroclous aspect Of those people who
have passed tloir 45tl year,
A boy living on tho 6,lgnr Hollow road att
tWenty-olio buokwhcat cakes one day last weDlt.
md 30 disturbed his stomacl, az 10 Gauge hii
donth IN tllrco dnya after. Tho Inst words he
uttered Utter N were n Of modoss triumph. He aald ~
"A Troy editor took hta wife to Now Yor5
recognized our Troy brotlcr AZ entitled to fros
passage, but, not knowing tho Indy whispered
to him, " ls lhls Indy friend OF yours 2" mo,
no" Haid tho Troy editor, in haste; "she ia my
1T was about o'clock Friday morning that
hlrs. Aennosaoy, of Nouon street, thinking aho
hoard noiso III tho ki.ohon, oropt out Of bed
nnd 20 that room to soo ifit was llot lIennessoy,
who hal boon expected in for several hours.
On reaching tito kischon she found her lord ana
master. sitting on tito lloor with his now silk
hat in betweou his knccs, and ln tho lat SOW
oral dried herrngs mud about two qunrtu OF
wator. Alr. 1lennossey waB cycling tho mixtnro
With profound qualification "Joln lon1!es.
Soy" screamed tho lady, "what arc you doing ?"
" Me'" inquired Mr, nonuossoy, with look O,
surprise: "Why, Matilda, Tin (lio y stay.ipf