The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1873-07-03

The only ring that should be tolerated
The wedding ring,
PANNIER-A waist basket for back
numbers of old newspapers.
Why is a lovely young lady like a
hinge because she is something to
adore.
CAN gentleman who sees a lady
home under an umbrella be fifty desig-
mated as rain. beau?
A oYNIo describes marriage as nm altar
on which man lays his wallet and wo-
man her affections.
A YOUNG husband calls his wife
"Birdie, " because, he says, she is Nl-
ways associated in his mind with bill
A PEORIA man says that his wife's
tongue wears out so many sets of false
teeth that the dentists bills have nearly
broken him up.
OUR hen-pecked remarks with surprise
that when his wife is well enough to
" pet round" she Immediately resumes
her wrangles.
Foor-BA11, according to the newspa-
pers, is becoming n popular game all
over the country. Boston girls claim
to be the most skillful.
A GooD-LooKING female doctor has
settled in Charlotte, Michigan, and
every man in town is taking pills by the
quart, at two cents per pill,
TWENTY students of the Pittsburg
female college having become converted
declare their determination to firt with
none but young divinity students here
after.
A CAIRO man warns people not to
trust his wife, and she rctorts by saying
that he'll go without clothes all summer
before she'll take in washing to rig him
out again.
An honest lover in Massachusetts, has
given to his prospective fNther-in-law
load of wood to replace that consumed
during his evening "sparking visits
last winter.
A Boston paper tells this: A lady
called at n drugstore and breathlessly
remarked: There have serenaded
all the way down here to get recipe
prescribed, and disrcmember the com
bustibles p
SOME one calls the Grace of American
women indolent :" whereupon one OF
them retorts 81 wonder if that man
ever reflected upon the amount of shop
ping we do, and the willingness with
which we do it ?"
A PEORIA girl, on her marriage, sold
her piano and bought a sewing-machine
and material enough to make full suits
for her husband and herself, and
strightway went to work making them
up. Her sisters are already married.
THERE are people who still hold that
woman on the battlefield would be an
absurdity; but they never saw a brave
woman, in bloomer costume, going
through crowded street and preserv-
ing throughout the walk placid coun-
tenance.
The audience at Chicago theater
were disposed to be hilarious, the other
night, when the wife of man who had
risen from his seat between the acts
and started for the door, cried out,
"Where are you going, John?" John
was disguised, but kept on.
A sAUoY young widow out west said to
q clerical friend who asked her condol-
ingly, how long her lamented" had
been dead, 81 am in the honeymoon OF
my widowhood. That widow will be
boasting some day about celebrating IA
golden funeral.
WHEN Turkish wife forgets to keep
the suspender buttons sewed to her hus-
bands trousers, she is patted on the
back for half an hour with Il pine board
an inch thick. An African wife is better
treated. The frown is chased from her
lofty brow with hat-iron.
A MAN who married widow has in
vented device to cure her Of eternal
ly" praising her former husband.
Whenever she begins to descant on his
noble qualities, this ingenious No. 2
merely says: "Poor, dear man |" how |
wish he had not died and the lady i'm
mediately begins to think of something
else to talk about.
AN ONO postmaster has received a
letter wherein the writer proffers curl
ous request as follows "H you can Il
will ascertain the names of Some rich
old maid or widow worth from 5 thou
sand to $4,000 or more let me know by
return mail and will pitch in and if
make it tie the Knot, it is l hundred
dollars in your pocket. Keep this
profound secret between us two if ii
gets out all is spoiled I am pour but
want to marry rich.
EXPERIENCE goes to show that girls IA
school offer less excuses on account Oh