Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1873-08-19
NUMBER 46.
Single Blessedness.
REPORT OF A MAN WHO KEPT HOUSE WHILE
HIS WIFE WAS OFF FOR TIE SUMNER.


hav' mt had such run of liberty since we were
married. hope she's having good time. for
| can now exercise my rights at the head of the
family. Can't do it when she's at home ; she II
not stand it. She has rules, and makes every
body about her toe the mark. But I've got
her now, and am having things my own way.
This morning came home quite early. 1t
was 2 A. NJ. I'd been to the club and got
caught out in the rain. For half an hour
couldn't find the key-hole. which must have
got mislaid. l felt for it everywhere, and even
got down into the yard and examined every
brick, but couldn't find it. / was in the act of
calling one of my neighbors and asking him
who had carried off my front door, when [ hap
pened to find it and got into the house.
| In the dark kicked over spittoon, but
luckily didn't get any of the tobacco juice on
my boots. hung my overcoat and umbrella
on prong of the chandelier, let them drip on
| the parlor carpet, went up stairs and turned in
with my boots on. Thought it wasn't worth
while to pull them off, as l would have to get
up in eight or ten hours anyhow. If my wife
had been at home she d have had me looking
an hour for the boot jack. and / would have lost
that amount of rest which my system so much
needed. Besides she'd have made me give
full account of myself which don like to do.
l never did believe in praising myself. It's bet
ter to let others speak of one 8 virtues. can
| ness. don't see how | ever did get along with
that woman. The idea of having to put on a
clean shirt, black my boots, and brush up my
clothes every morning is simply ridiculous
1t is miracle to me how | ever did it and at
tend to my other affairs. / now read the morn
ing paper without being forced to see an i'm
patient woman standing with her dress in one
hand, looking very miserable, and telling me
she is going down town and wants that paper.
ApD 70 1No . bo
there's no woman about, everything is SO quiet
and comfortable and handy. FL want to do a
little figuring don't have to hunt up a pencil,
or pen and ink, but just sit down to one of
the tables and do it with my fuger, and there's
nobody to be eternally welding busting brush
around my bed and telling me to get up out Of
the way until the house is cleaned up. These
are considerations that every married man
should ponder over. But when we do ponder
and resolve, what good does it do? That's the
question that is now agitating the American
people. What good does it do? Not bit. If
these women can't have everything just their
own way, they swoon off into Mysteries. As
consequence, We have to pay a fifty dollar doc
tors BILL and stay in the house all day. tanning
them, and promising in the end that 1--WE may
be happy yet" before they show any disposi-
ton to compromise. Oar wives are petted too
much. And this reminds me that mine won't
yield to any other treatment. | undertook to
prescribe more stringent remedy for her one
day, but it threw her into fit more like jim
jams than anything know of. She broke eve
ry plate In the house over my head, and then
[ had to kiss her before she would promise not
to do it again. That's WI at makes me say she
is set in her ways.
There, too, are the piano and guitar. which
she kept going from morning until midnight,
filling the whole neighborhood with the dscor-
dant sounds which she called music. Both are
as mute as the bird-cage which was vacated last
week by stragetic movement OF the cat.
The two hundred pots of flowers she left me
to cultivate [ don't think will produce much of
crop. They're nearly all ripe now. and there's
no sign of flower yet [ have watered them
twice since she left, but it did no good. l rec
kon they miss her, and are pining away because
she amt here. In this respect they do not re-
semble me to any alarming extent.
Our kitchen never looked better. The stove
and pipe have assumed beautiful red tint, and
the pots are bringing forth fine crop of white
looking vegetable mould, which haven learn
ed the name of; but she'll know it when she
comes. The dishes don't look quite as bright
and clean as they might, but the flies are bad
this year, and If L we're to wash them every two
weeks they wouldn't present respectable ap-
pearance.
Notice to the Editor.-Please suppress that
article [ sent you about my spell of Single
Blessedness. Z" The old woman has got back.
Plan of Organization.
The following Is the plan of organization of
the Conservative party of Virginia as adopted
at the late Conservative State Convention in
Richmond:
81. There shall be State Committee COM
posed of three members for each Congressional
District Such members shall be appointed by
the President of the Convention on the nomi-
nation of their respective Congressional dele
cations: provided that such nominations shall
be made by at least majority Of such district
concurring. Otherwise. and in default of such
nominations, the President shall make the ap-
pointment for such districts.
Vacancies in any such delegation, after the
same shall have been formed. shall be filled by
the committee upon the nomination of the re-
naming members from such district.
The State Committee thus constituted are
charged with the affairs of the party, and shall
have power to perfect its organization and to di-
rect its conduct in obedience to the declarations
and policy of the party as the same shall be set
forth by this Convention. 1t may decide all ques-
tions at issue which may rise in election dis
trcts calculated to affect the harmony and the
interest of the party.
The State Committee shall meet at such times
and places as they may themselves determine,
but especially at such time and place as the
Executive Committee may designate.
q There shall be an Executive Committee
resident at Richmond, composed of three per-
sons to be appointed by the President of the
Convention: and secretary to be appointed
by such committee.
This, the Executive Committee, shall have
no power to originate any measure. 1t shall
be their express and single duty to execute and
carry out the plans of the State Committee as
the same shall from time to time be laid down
by that committee, under whose authority it
shall act and to whose revision all the acts of
this Executive Committee shall be subject.
City and County Organization.
g. Each city and county, by popular meeting
after due notice, or through the medium of the
existing organization, may appoint city or
county committee. to consist of two members
from each township or ward in each city or
county, regulating and directing the same, ell
tber by wards or townships, or otherwise, as
such committee may prescribe.
Such committee shall elect chairman
whose duty it shall be to appoint all meetings
and regulate all affairs as to the party which may
embrace the city or county. In the election OF
delegates to any election district convention, it
| shall be the duty of such committee of the city
or county to prescribe by public notice whether
such appointments shall be made by wards,
Townships city or county meeting, and the num-
her of delegates to which said ward, township,
city or county shall be entitled.
| RESOLVED, That all nominations made by coun-
ties, senatorial election districts, and all that