The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-09-27
ANECDOTES.

following suggestive story:
A lady called upon celebrated physicia
to consult him about her eyes, which wer
giving her some trouble. The doctor sa,
that she was lady of rank and wealth
He gravely shook his head; feared amau
rosis case would require time: and sb
was living in the country; she must move t.
the city where he could see her daily. Th
lady moved to the city; the physician at
tended her regularly; but days changed t.
weeks, and weeks to months, and the cur
came not. The patient resolved to try al
experiment. She disguised herself as
poor old woman, and went to her physician
After long waiting in the anteroom, at las
her turn came.
"Well, my good woman, what have 70,
to complain of" tat" s-A
Very bad eyes, DOCTOR" she answered
He took her to the light, looked into he
eyes, but failed to recognize his patient
Struggling his shoulders, he said:
Your eyes are well enough
well :" she said. 81.
Yes; | know what am saying"
But l have been told that am getting
the a-a-forgot how it is called"
"Amaurosis
Yes, that is it, DOCTOR"
Don't let them make you believe an,
such nonsense. Your eyes are little weak
but that is all. Your physician is an ass 7
"An-" -
Yes, an ass! Tell him boldly that
say So"
The lady arose, and in her customary voice
said You are my physician; don't yor
know me?"
Gracious, madame!" he commenced
but the lady would not listen to him, and
left Indignantly. She never saw the gentle
man any more.-Hnper's.
A VERY SURPRISING SURPRISE PARTY
Ihose surprise parties, somehow, nearly al
ways turn out unpleasantlv. They tell
about one that came off up in Connecticut
recently which was not half as ioyous as if
should have been. 1t was reported of a
man and his wife, who had been married
Tor many years without having any children,
that they at last had been made happy BY
the birth of daughter. Some of their
friends determined to give the man pre-
sentatlon surprise party. So, about forty
persons marched up to the house one even
ing, carrying cradle and lots of gum-rings.
and bibs, and bottles with gum nozzles. and
baby carriage, and some little night-gowns,
and coral armlet, and gross of soothing
syrup, and socks, and paregoric. And they
all burst into the parlor at once on tip-toe
When the man in amazement asked them
what they ment by such conduct, they said
they were coming quietly so as not to wake
the baby. And when he blushed and STAN
mered and asked what baby?" they said
his baby, and began to hand him the things.
and to load him up with soothing-syrup and
cummings, until he floored one of the guests
with quart bottle of paregoric, and held
him down until he explained. And then
it was revealed that it was all a mistake
about that little daughter; that no such ar
rival had taken place at all, but that the re-
port was false. And then the surprise par
ty was great deal more surprised than the
man was; and the guest gathered up that
infant furniture and tried to pretend to the
man that they never thought he had daugh-
ter, but that they understood he had accept
ed position as director of an orphan
asylum, and that they brought around few
things for him to distribute among the poor
fatherless children. The man said it was
singularly thin, and then the company
went home. The Constitutional Gonyen-
tlon ought to adopt some kind of measure
to prevent these mistakes-Mac Adler.
A SINGULAR SroRY-One day recently a
respectfully dressed man, carrying a we'll
grown child muffled up and apparently sick
walked into French's hotel. He placed the
child on the stairs and began to talk to it
in very unkind rough way. The attention
of the guests was attracted, and they gath
cred around.
You are able to walk for yourself" the
man said, "and | amt going to carry you
"Oh, OH" the child sobbed 'do carry me
up; please, pa, do. You know, ever since
| was run over by the cars and lost both my
feet, can't walk up stairs alone"
"That's all stuff" the man answered
"Get up at once or I'll make you -.
The poor child began to sob worse than
before, and the brutal man gave it severe
thump over the head. The child moaned
piteously. The indignation Of the bystanders
was excited. and one of them said to the
man: Is that child yours ?" ..s
whats that to you, the man answered
81 won't tell your"
"He's-my-father," the child sobbed
"and - he kiled-m -mother-just-as
-he's-agoing ng-to-kill-me."
The man doubled his fist and made Q
motion as though he was about to give the
child a savage blow. One of the bystandert
interfered and said F: @Say, if you don't stoE
this III call a policeman. never saw sucf
brutal father in my life." 9
The man began to tumble in his pockets
and the child cried out. Take care; he's
got knife; he's going to stick you"
Sure enough, the man produced knife
and opened it. The crowd slippedo one
by one, except two.
Bring an officer" one of these cried tt
friend. z
"If am arrested" the man said, at shal
be for something; !" and thereupon he plung
ed the knife into the body of the child
The child shrieked, I'm murdered, In
murdered" and crowd rushed to the spot
The man quietly raised the child in his arms
and, removing his hat, said:
Gentlemen, this is a wooden child. tn
a ventriloquist, and any little offering 20,
may be pleased to make will be very &C
ceptable.
Sincerity is speaking as we think, be
lieving as we pretend, acting as we profess
performing as we profess, and being as VI
appear to be. -...--.- - 80.
He is happy whose circumstances suit hi
temper; but he is more happy who can sui