Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-12-05
Odds and Ends.

The Smallest man IN the WUTiu Is
Wisconsin man named John M. Lewis.
He is 1e years old, q inches tall, and
weighs q pounds.
An Arkansas obituary notice: J.-P.
of Helena, on Monday Sd. inst, aged
fourteen years. His last words were
II didn't know it was loaded,
Mrs. Darlington will not allow Ike
to play the guitar. She says he had
it once when he was child, and it
nearly killed him.
Respect for old age never had
brighter illustration than(in the case
OF the young lady who always refuses
to go to the wash-tub when her
mother or grand mother is present.
When they told Jim Oxford, of Mis-
souri,, that he was dying, he replied,
swell don't forget to put them shin
giles on he mule pen afore it rains
again.
Pay me that twenty five cents you
owe me /" roared newsboy to boot
black. . Hav mt got the currency.
Jamesy," responded the burnisher
but | can give you a certified check. .
When that Albany editor got let
ter incl sing dried human ear, and
containing the statement that that was
all that was left of one man who
wrote against me-" he walked away on
his
Jury" said western Judge, lyon
kan go out and find e verdict. If you
can't find one of your own. get the
one the last jury used. The jury re-
turned a verdict Of suicide in the
ninth degree.
A little boz has been fairly driven
from school by the disgraceful perse-
cution of the other scholars, who
tauuted him with the fact that his
father was once New York juryman.
WE forgot to mention that the
world was to have come to an end on
Saturday last in Connecticut, The
Second Adventists are now con-
sulting the Danbury almanack to see
where they blundered.
A Rochester editor went hunting
the other day for the first time in
twesty-two years, and he was luck
enough to bring down an old farmer
by shot in the leg. The distance
was sixty six yards.
A bunch of shingles fell from a
wagon on the Tro; Ferry boat re-
Gently, and struck fairly upon the head
of colored woman, who said, W
oughter b. shame to muss cullud
woman's har dat way. | wish de
shingles fell ovah board"
Irascible old parity Conductor,
why didn't you wake me as | asked
you2 Here an miles beyond my
station" Conductor-"I did try, sir,
but all | could get out IF you was all
right, Maria, get the children their
breakfast, and I'll be down in a
minute"
/ 4 gentleman in search of man to
do some work, met on his way lady
who was not so young as she once was
and asked her: Can you tell me
where | can find man ?" mo | can
not she replied, "for I have been
looking these twenty years fer one my
self.
The Detroit chi eff of police received
telegram from a deserted husband,
who thus describes the dear departed
ard her toilet, Blue eyes, red hair.
prominent nose, dressed in yellow
kids, bronze boots and blue sash"
Any person noticing woman dressed
in that way will please give infor ma
ton.
About year ago daughter of John
Cookery, in Bremen County, Iowa,
brought charge of incest against
her father, in which he was bound
over. lie stoutly denied the charge,
but found few believers, and lie sub
sequently committed suicide. His
daughter now confesses that she
trumpad up the charge, and has dis
appeard, and it is believed has entered
upon a life Of prostitution.
A candidate for the civil service
recently gave up his examination in
disgust, because be was asked how
many bushels Of wheat could be
bought for $40 if enc bushel cost 40
cents. He said he had net learned
any thing about wheat, but had al
ways done his sums in potatoes and
turnips.
A Western journal, probably wish
ing to do the fair thing by the local
doctor, recently announced that Dir.
era wiord was called in and under his
prompt and slillful treatment, the
young man died on Wednesday even
ing" This the Detroit Free Press
calls the puff obiique. and says, We
don't know what the doctor says to this
but if the editor of that newspaper is
taken sick, VIC advise him not to call
in Crawford