River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-09-30
General Items.

LIN buOuoduu bNO HuuuTeu ana nifty
books have beeu copyrighted in this
country since New Years.
IN England, if a man attempts 10 ret
into car after the train has started. he
is arrested and fined.
WASTE of wealth is sometimes re.
trieved waste of health, seldom but
the waste of time, never.
EDMUND YATES characterizes the
Vienna Exposition as dead, fat. dis
NAL failure.
An "'inois editor says that affixes
sutfixes aud predxes are not according
to his taste. Perhaps he would prefer
to keep clear Of all kinds of fixes.
THE Correspondence de Espona
assures Spanish bondholders that .he
payment of overdue coupons is TO be.
gin this month.
JULIA A. MILLER, who died RECENTLY
IN Lancaster, N. H., was the great
great great grandchild of King Philip,
OF Mount Pope, r. /.
A CITIZEN of Milwaukee is recorded
to have said, 81 can always tell water
when ] see tit looks SO much like
gin. ~ Y Sun.
A New YORK boy took lighted can
die TO search for leak in barrel of
spirits. He got high before finding il
several rods.
WHEN you feel depressed and dissat-
istied, and wherever You may look
naught but frowning skies meet your
view, wash yourself.
I. L. MILLER has swindled the
Lafayette Qnd. bankers out of $1O,-
900 by means of forged checks, and is
lost to sight.
SENATOR SUMMERS health is so much
improved that he is thinking seriously
OF entering the lecture field this sea-
son.
JOHN WILLIAMS, of Dubuque, an in
veterate topper, has given up drinking
at the age of forty. He mistook a
bottle OF corrosive sublimate for whisky.
SIR ANDREW CLARK has been ap-
pointed British Governor and Com
mander-in-Chief of the Straits settle
ments and their dependencies.
A .ooLPoRTEUR in Kansas was told
that this ere region hain't much on
Bibles, but ii you want to make money,
bring us out load of shot-guns.
Mr.. ANDREW CARNAqIE, wealyth
resident of New York, has given $685.
600 for the erection of public baths in
Dunfermline, Scotland, the place of
his birth.
A CRITIC compares Dickens with
Adam, showing a remarkable likeness
in many respects, but omits to mention
that Dickens wife, like Adams, raised
Cain.
NEGOTIATIONS are pending between
Prussia and Austria, looking for the
adoption of means for the suppression
OF socialism aud revolutionary princi-
pies.
WHAT" said teacher to a pupil,
makes you feel uncomfortable after
you have done wrong2" my papa's
big leather strap, feelingly replied the
boy.
TIE cat is a volume of wonders.
One, resident in Oregon, catches it's
two or three snakes week, and often
brings them in alive twined about its
neck.
WHILE a eompositor on the Montreal
Witness was setting up an advertise
ment for lost canary few days ago,
the bird flew in at the Office window.
This shows the value of advertising.
One Mr.. MAURICE RICHARDSON, of
Fitchburg, Mass, recently swan from
Falmouth to Martha's Vineyard, dis.
lance of seven miles and half, in two
hours and fifty-tive minutes.
OLYMPIA AND SKooKUM CHUCK is the
name of the last railroad contemplated
in Oregon. 1t ought to be- short one,
as it is really but a step from the sub.
lime to the ridiculous.
A CONNECTICUT admirer of Alexander
ii. Stephens wrote to him asking him
il sassafras was good for the blood,
and Mr.. Stephens wrote back on six
teen pages of note paper that il was.
a MAN in Yates county, N. Y, who
has been an inveterate smoker for fifty
years, has suddenly and permanently
given 1t up. He Knocked the ashes off
his pipe IN key of blasting powder.
A NEW Stock Exchange law is to be
introduced at Vienna. A draft of the
new law has been drawn up by men,
bers of the Exchange appointed for
that purpose.
THERE is a man in Champaign who
is now living in a house with his fifth
wife, seventeen children and three
mothers-in law and still he is not
happy.
SAwDUsT as substitute for stockings
is recommended by a writer in the
Oneida Circular, who says that ia
blespoonful of the substance placed in
each boot will keep the feet both dry
and warm.
A GEORGIA bride is described in one
of the local papers a. "looking a very
lily Graded in the golden glimmer of
some evening lake-a foam. heck,
snowy, yet sun-hushed. browning the
ripplings of some soft southern sea-
A WIDOW once said to her daughter,
when you are at my age il will be time
enough TO dream OF husband. eyes,
mamma, replied the thoughtless girl,
% for "A second ONE The mother