The Republican journal., 1873-08-28
NUMBER 8.
Woman at Sea.

The workings Of the female mind at sea
are entertaining. 1t is the thing TO have
all exclusive gentility give way in pres
ence of the great deep. A number col
lected on deck, gazing at the dashing
waves, treats one to all the adjectives
known to our language, of which "splen-
did, ''divine," beautiful" and ''sweet,
ring in and out, interspersed with little
shrieks and exclamation points, all having
as much real meaning as the tinkling
cymbals spoken Of We never heard the
said tinkling cymbals, but are of the inn
preston that they must be very frivolous.
we are panied to write it, but after some
years OF observation, we are driven to the
conclusion that the average female mind
IS not open to picturesque effects in
scenery. The average female mind has an
utter contempt for the country and all
pertaining thereto; while their wrath and
disgust for the ocean are only equaled by
that felt by the average male mind The
first named, however, has the adv antage
in the stunning costumes gotten up for the
sea Each female has, in addition to the
sea dress, sixteen ditfieren, articles some
poor masculine has packed around and
as the fair owner never rests ten minutes
in one place the labor is immense
We have an elegant lady Of a certain
age, known as Mrs. Morus Morticulus
who affects masculine turn tcY machinery.
She attacks the poor captain in the most
unexpected manner as to principles in
mechanics For example:
"Captain, excuse me. but I am 50 de
sirous to learn something substantial as
travel; will YOU please explain to me up
ON what principle the propeller runs -
II must turn that over to Mr.. Jones, -
| responses the bluff captain,
| "Ah, Now. Mr. Jones, what IS the prin-
| cple p
| Screw madam
How interesting; please explain"
. Simplest thing in the world, Mrs
Morticulus \ number of nautical gen
tlemen were dining together at Delmon-
ico's one evening During the Wine and
cigar interval the talk run on the trouble
Of side wheels. One rf these gentlemen
u man Of no genius for mechanics what
ever, was idly balancing a cork-scrcw OF
his finger An idea struck him He left
the table. carrying off The cork rev,
which was inserted in the bill. \ week
after the gentleman of the idea and cork
screw appeared in Cranberry Marsh New
jersey, and consulted Mr. Robeson, ther
an obscure Young lawyer OF great promise
but no practice He showed Mr. Robesor
a model steamer with the cork-screU
screwed in the stern MI Robeson looked
at it a moment and said, Reverse youI
screw. The screw was reversed. 4 gOoC
step made in mechanics, and the poor
young lawyer rose to eminence.'
How curious De, Mr. Jones' let lii,
write that down. and Mrs. Morus Morti
culus wrote fourteen pages on the screw
We had been running through thou
sand miles, more or less, of foe, and tn,
steam whistle uttered its fearful scream
every fifteen minutes This startled Mrs
Bangs She SAID to her maid Kitty:
',What Il dreadful noise Kitty, ask tn,
captain if he cannot stop that 1t is hay
INC a very depressing effect on the nerve
Of passengers.
':Lor, Mrs Bangs, they he Vhi,tlin ice
berg~ off the track
"Good heavens, Kitty are we among
ircberms 2"
',Of course we are" The chambermaid
who's II married Woman and has \ hus
band and eleven children in GLASGOW
says las how they counted q hundred an'
nine nine feet high, or nine a hundred an,
nine feet high, | forgot which. for aim
got no head for lggfr,, Is they went t,
NrW Work."
The rrbergs, Kitty"
''Lorno, Mrs Bangs the ship aud the
rhambermaid says that if ii wasn't tor tn,
fog We'd +er the most beautiful sight eve
seen i'll the sea"
lceberg-i The thought was 90 terrbl,
that Mrs Bangs went incontincntly to bed
That night She awakened her maid in grea
terror.
kitty get up Get up quick and sc
out our llte-preserN er1; We're on an ice
berg ; hearthe ship grating on the bottom.
Kitty stuck her head out, listened a mo
mcnt and then said sententiously:
"Why, Mrs Bangs, thcm'S ropes
Mrs B. subsidized She remembered ole
Bumblebee who, on like occasion, vhel
sails were being shifted in storm, stucl
his ni@ht-capprd head from his berth anC
roarrd out '',]oseph, 90 up and tell that
captain to stop his drunken crew from run
ming up and down the deck; they shake
the boat So it makes me sick. DO yoU
hear? Stop it" Dom Piatt, in Wash
ngton Capital.