The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1873-11-18
sepse and nnpse,tse.

n paSScltSSt tOu a IttlfOdo AcuScu
from serene slumber by the tooGug Of
q whistle, exclaimed pet6lantly:: "The
train has caught up with those cattle
again e'i' biir Fssdir,s. .ies.
Il w estern' man at .'prayer meet
fns SAID, somewhat enviously: 'Brother
Lawson can sing better than can, hut
by the grace Of Heaven / can fd,lle his
Old shirt off" ....-...
osReally, Mr.. Johnston, there's nae
emil to- your w.t. said lady in the
west efgScotland to noted humorist
'Gndc forbid, madam" he replied,
What Ishodldre'et be at my wits-ende'
fhe man who cannot muster mp cour-
age 10 pop the question such weather as
We have been having of late. deserves
to freeze to death this winter,
* anybody sees a row of Buttons
coming down street,, let him preserve
his equilibrium and think rot of super
natural agencies. There's woman be,
hind tlfem:d nsA
1t is now announced on the authority
of that 'eminent physician" that it is
not considered healthy to rise b.fore
eight o'clock In the morning. This ap,
plies only to MEN. Wives can rise at
seven and start the fire as heretofore.
A Chinaman came down one of the
main streets of Millerton, California,
on election day, in state of exalta-
ton, and thus delivered hilnself:-
Hoop, la! me all same Mclean man.
Hair cat short and dunk like h-ll.
Hoop, la! i.ieei7
The st. Louis Democrat says: "Our
experience and the history Of the past
cighteeu centuries inclines MS to the be-
lief that no, matter how well you treat a
shot gun, nor how you bring it up, it
will bang the stuffing out of you the
Servfr time it gets a chance"
Says the Rutland, Vt, Herald: .sAt
the time OF the last fire here, a lady
whose house was supposed to, be in
danger hurriedly dressed herself, ran
out, and inquired of some lady friends
who were standing OF the sidewalk in
front of the house us my back hair
on straight ~ The ruling passion
strong in fright" ~ emii
This afternoon ruuhtfy woman
made her FIRST attempt to get in the
Court House yard through the. patent
back-action gate. She opened the gate,
went through as she supposed, and shut
Alerselfaout on the same side seven
times, then calculating 'merciful sakesr
climbed over tie feDce-P Peoria Re
'biesc.e = 7'''-i g ..ss'-s 81
A preacher, one slippery, frosty
morning, going home with one of his
elderly members, the old gentleman
slipped and fell. When the minister
saw that he was not hurt, he said =
Brother, sinners stand upon slippery
places" "Yes," replied the old man,
looking at the preacher,"I see they do,
but lean t. 'sfa.Yis ,si14 81
A gentleman built wing to his
house, consisting Of cellar, a library
ON the ground floor, and q. bed room
above. He asked the opinion of a
friend about it, who replied, "My dear
fellow, am sorry TO see you have lost
your senses" "Howp" exclaimed the
other, ..W by, a bon cipant and q literary.
man. Assyon are,to read over your wine,
and to aeepover yonr boeksl"
ssAhenpecked gentleman determined
to sup with party of friends against
the will Of his wife. He was resolved
that he would, and she that he. should
not go He did not go. His friends
missed him, and just for a lark invaded
his residence, where they found him
and his wife sitting in their chairs fast
asleep. He had given her an opiate
that he nigh. slip away, and she had
given him,one. that he might not.
In Connecticut certain magistrate
was called to jail to- liberate a worthless
debtor aWell, John.p said the mag.
istrate on entering, "can you swear that
you are not worth $50, and never will
be?" "Why," answered the Other, ,rath-
.efchagrined at the question; 81 can
swear that l am not worth that amount
at present. !, ';Well, WE'LL" returned the
magistrate. 81 can swear the rest, so 90
ahead" And the man was sworn and
discharged. .aeaals
THE reporter Of q Nashville paper
.twho,s mentioning young lady's de-
cease, touchingly alluded to her as
zone Of the brightest jewels that ever
glittered in the .diadem Of an earthly
home, one of the purest stars that ever
CLEANED upon the frontlet of our social
sky; one of the sweetest flowers that
ever bloomed in the garden of earliest
association" has had his salary increas.
edtolfcur dollars a MONTH, half cash,
and the balance in cord wood. F
"a Maine newspaper says: "They ere
telling the story OF an uneasy little Ro-
chester boy whose mother tried TO
quiet him OH Boston and Maine train
lie other day by telling him the con.
ductor sometimes swallowed naughty
boys. The boy astoiished her q few
moments after, as the portly form ol
Conductor Tucker appeared at the door
by crefping behind her and exclaimine
in whisper, INA, / guess be has swal-
loved one already"