The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-06-04
SCRAPS.

Jacks crew.
"Home-sweet, sweet home" as
the the bee said when he entered
his hive.
Rather than die without agroan.
letme groan without die. A.
Ward.
An Englishman died in New
York recently from swallowing a
cruciiX. N
You can use a postage stamp
twice. The first time it will cost
YOU three cents, the second time
fifty dollars. :.
A man died in a New York town,
the other day, and in his Will left
"that old liar and tattlcr, the widow
Jones, two cents
A woman of Watson, Michigan,
fearing that she would not survive
her husband, took a'full dose of
the latest patent medicine, and thus
died.
Somebody asks "What is homo
without cradle?" Hang the, era
dle.. It's the little cuss in the era
die that makes home howl, if any
thing does. ~.
An old minister, the. ether day,
asked a woman what conld be done
to induce her husband to attend
church. ''I don't know" said she.
"unless you were to put piI'e and
Jug of whiskey in the pew"
Western papers never allow the
wind to blow in a commonplace
manner. AT Burlington, Iowa,
they tell of breeze that shivered
a board fence into kidding wood
and packed it into a mans wood
shed. - -s
The Augusta, Ky, Chronicle gives
the following warning: "Delin-
qucnt subscribers should not per-
NIT their daughters to wear this
paper for a hustle. There being so
much due on itshere is danger Of
their taking cold"
A mugician, George Sharp, had
his name painted on the door thus
&c. Sharp" A wag of a painter,
who. knew something of music,
early one morning made the fol-
lowing undeniable anil significant
addition: els A flat
Poetic-A young man in town
made his girl a present the other
day, and on slip of paper accom-
panying it he indited the poetic
sentiment: "To my am to be wife
The girl says what am to be will
be, but she thinks this amn't to
lie.
"Fellow-trabler,' said a coiored
preacher, "ef l had been eatin'
dried apples for week, an den
took to drinkin' for a mont, I
couldn't feel more swell'd up dan I
am dis minnit wild pride an vanity
at seein' such full 'tendence har dis
evening"
Newspaper mistakes arc scarcely
unavoidable. Every issue of many
journals involves the placing of
100000 types. Out of that number
some will be wrongly placed, in
spite of the best Of care. A Pitts
burg paper made rather ridicu-
lous blunder lately and yet there
was only one letter out of place.
The editor said "The Legislature
pasted (passed> the bill over the
Governors head.
1t is said that that there is a boy
in Concord, New Hampshire, who
can repeat the multiplication table
backwards, and he is only 9 years
old. We know that boy. We,
were never in Concord, but we
know him. We lived next door to
that boy when we were a boy, and
it is not so long ago but that we
remember him distinctly. lie al
ways went to bed at 8 o'clock, and
had a slight cough. He brushed
his hair back Of his ears, and car
ried store handkerchief, and when
he played marbels it was to win.
He always got home from school
before we did, and employed the
interval in detailing to his mother
the "beatin' that boy next door
was getting. And indeed we were
getting it, but there was no special
Interest in it for other f'lEs. He
was the model boy, the boy our
parents used to point to, and speak
of in tones of mingled admiration
and regret, while uniting us for
sitting on anything harder than a
poultice. He never ran away from
school, nor stole money. but he
used to throw mud on. old people
when they wern't looking, and un-
selfshly throw the credit on us.
And then to see that boy come
around into our yard with jam on
lis bread! That was the last teath-
er, that was the climax to all the
sorrows our young heart knew.
We could willingly have forgiven
everything else, but that jam upset