The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1873-12-04

"HoW Is 1t that y0u came home
from your party so early last night,
Susan? Didn't you enjoy yourself?''
Susan: "Yes, ma'am. But the young
man as TUX me hin to supper insulted
meW Mistress: "Insulted you, Su-
san! Why; what did he say ?'' Su-
san: "Yes, ma'am. He asked me il
my program was full, and l am sure
/ never lad eat nothing but sandwich
and glass of lemonade, so 1 come
away hOme.p -i
Jeweler-What kind of q chain
would you like? Young Man-Well,
[ don't know, hardly. What kind OF
a chain would you think l ought to
have; that is, what style would you
think would be the most becoming
for young man what carries grocer
les to some of the best families in
town? iea.a 's1 a-- 400
They have some very smart busi-
ness men in New Jersey. Last week
a young man was struck by lightning
in field near Trenton, anu when the
people began to flock to the spot 10
look at the victim, they found a man
standing by the corpse trying to sell
lightning rods to the crowd. fl
"Thomas,D said father to his son,
''don't let that girl make fool of you.
Look sharp. Remember the adage
that love is blind.n 20, that adage
won't wash, said Tom; Talk about
love being blind ! Why l see ten
times as much in that girl as you do"
A pious but uneducated Judge closed
q sentence With the following touch
ing repnoacb; "PrisOner at the bar,
nature has endowed yOu with q good
education and respectable family con-
nections, instead of which you 90
round the country stealing ducks"
Chicago wants to have the next
worlds fair held there. sin the first
place." says the Boston Post, cit isn't
certain that the next Yorld will have
fair, and in the second place, those
who'd be likely to attendIt VIII per-
fer a more pious town in which to
celebrate it,"
Mr.. Prudhomme, in the decline of
life, was talking with his nephew, TO
whom he related stories of his youth.
'But, uncle" suddenly exclaimed the
young man, "What struck you most
during your lite ?" "My dear boy, it
was your aunt"
-" l7l...--- ID. grf-reTs---f-L 90 IT,
A Connecticut school committee re-
Gently asked school mArm, "What
was the seed from which sprung good
and eviI?1 The school marm an
swered meekly that she Ewasn'E pos
ted. in the seed business" and the Juat-
ter was allowed to drop,
fsWestsrn women are grumb bling ter
ribly because the managers, OF the -ag-
ricultura4 fairs don't give st least d
years notice when they offer prizes
for the finest babies. 8 j-'-
Sons OF Speaker Blaine and Con-
gresham Dawes, who were at Yale
College, have been tisent home for 8
short season for refusing TO tell whist
they know about iazing affair.
A movement is now under way 10
Florida to bring about reunion, on
Washington's birth-day anniversary,
of the soldiers OF the latelwa Of both
sides g. s&ze. -- Ha.llilf Ll z-l
Among the reforms proposed by Wo-
nsH in the name of progress aud bu-
manity'' il one for. the benefit OF f.
male domestics. or
In breach OF promise case ct -foIt
Wayne the lover was convicted ofwrit-
ing mi hart beets-oanley for the, nay
darling hiney.'' .----.-r.- Il
$50 dark and yet 50 'ligIt," as the
man said when he looked at his last
ton Of ceslrbllod sloy yu5 'slCLI
An oyster leads piaeid life until he
gets into sleE--9.1yri sz1si G. sasqoI