Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-11-21


The most curious thing in the world is
woman who is not curious.
Getting trusted For hat makes man
in debt "over head and ears"
A platform philosopher says that man
falls in love as he falls down stairs-by
accident
~ young lady last week declined frost.
ed cake because she thought it might
give her cold
Ayoung husband calls his wife 'birdic'
because he says, she is always associated
in his mind with bill.
The household troops" of the king Of
the Sandwich islands consist of three old
women and two old men,
The young man who boosted that he
could marry any girl he pleased, found
that he could not please any.
1t is suggested that belle pulls would
he appropriate appendagcs to the door.
plates now worn on ladies' belts.
What is the difference between farm.
or and whisky? One husbands| the corn
and the other corns the husbands.
Dan Rice advertises that old maids can
visit his show at half price, but lie never
had female call for halfpricc ticket.
Why does man think more Of wo.
man as wife than as sweethesrts Be.
cause she is dearcr to him after marriage
A New York moralist thinks that it is
easier to run needle through the eye Of
camel than to hang rich man in New
York.
When your pockct,book gets empty,
and everybody knows it, you can put all
your friends in it without percepibly in.
creasing its size.
Gracious me-" exclaimed an old lady
in the witness box, chow should l know
anything about anything l don't know
anything about?"
Our Sally Ann don't see anything sad
in the phrase, "might have been" She
says sue was glad when she founl that
she might have Ben.
AS SO many articles in everyday uso
arc manufactured Of paper, it is asked If
paper beef-steak cannot be invented to
take the place Of the leather ones
A man in love is man who wishes to
be more amiable and agreeable than he
can be, and that is the reason why al.
most all men in love are ridiculous
An editor once wrote: "We have re-
ceived basket OF strawberries from Mr..
Smith, for which he will receive our com.
pliments, some Of which are four inches
in circumference"
"Wcre you guarded in your conduct
while in London:" asked father of his
son, who had just returned from visit
to that city. "Yes sir; part of the time
by two policemen
huge steam gong, consisting of three
fifteen inch Whistles has been erected at
the Sandusky, O., Steel works. which,
when blown, can be heard fully fifteen
miles. Unhappy Sandusky.
One of party of friends referring to
An excellent musical composition, said:
THAT song always carries me away when
I hear it, "Can anybody whistle it,"
asked Douglas Jerrold, laughing
What's that which all love more than life,
Fear more than death or mortal strife.
That which contenfed men desire,
The poor possess, the rich require.
The miser spends, the spendthrift saves,
And all men carry to their graves!
The answer is-Nothing.
In struggling to make dull boy un-
dcrstand what conscience is, teacher
finally asked: "What makes you feel un.
comfortable after you have done wronge"
"The big leather strap" feelingly replied
the boy.
Says the Rutland (Vt) Herald: "At
the time of the late fire here q lady,
whose house was supposed to be in dan
ger. hurriedly dressed herself, ran out,
and inquired Of some lady friends who
were standing on the sidewalk in front Of
the house: Is my back hair on straight"
The ruling passion strong in fright"
A gentle Quaker had two horses,a very
good and very poor one. When seen
riding the latter it turned out that his
better half had taken the good one
What" said a sneering bachelor, chow
comes it that you let your wife ride the
better horse?" The only answer was:
Friend, when thee be married thc'll
know"
Another, in IL railway car. Passen-
ger to man ut his side: IF there is
anybody hate in this world it is -"
referring to prominent public charac.
ter. Other man: DO you know him."
"Oh! yes, have known the scoundrel
from boyhood. Do your" "Oh! yes
very well, for happen to be that very
scoundrel"
"Now, young people, said profess
sor Of natural history to his class, now
then as to hens A hen has the capacity
of laying just GOO eggs, and no moro, and
sho does it in just five years. Now what
is to be done with her after that" "Cut
her head off and sell her for q spring
chicken?' exclaimed an urchin whose
father dealt in poultry"
4 few days since seedy person ap.
piled to wealthy citizen for help, and
received the small sum Of five cents The
givcr remarked as he handed him the
pittance: "Takc it, you are welcome;
our ears are always open to the dis
tressed" "That may be-" replied the re-.
cipient, "but never before in my life have
seen such small openings for such large
ears"
A young man cut in search Of his faith.
ers lost pig, near Scranton, Pa, accosted
an Irishman along the road with: "Have
you seen stray pig about here?"
Faith" said Pat, "How should I know
stray pig from anoshers" That re.
minds US of the town ordinance which
provided that "every other dog" should
be killed. The difflculsy is to distin,
guish the "other" dogs.
French anecdote: "Said mistress:
Justine, you must present everything to
me on WAITER The next day the mis-.
tress heard the servant talking in the
antechamber with some one; rang, and
asked her whom she was talking with.
With my sister, madame; she is hunt.
ing place. I will help hes to get one,'
said the mistress; but why don't you
present her to me? 1t can't be done
answered Justine. She must be very
proud-your sister, 'Ah, mon Dieu,
madame, it is not that; It Is because
cannot get her on to the waiter"
We fear We have got maliciously dis.
posed sexton among US. Noticing hab.
it among the young men Of depositing
their half smoked cigars in the porch up;
ON entering the church, he gathered up
the relics the other evening and carefully
depositing drop Of croton oil in the
chewed end, conscientiously returned the
veterans to their places, and abided the