The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-05-07
Pipsey Potts ON Hobbies.

1 dread people who have hobbies
worse than those who have conta
gious diseases.
There's old Byron Fisher and his
wife. who live over the Ridge, now
they think that an ointment they
call ''Newton's grease" will cure
everything, 40 matter what it is.
Why, / heard old Brother Fisher
say once. right in covenant meeting,
that he owed his life to Newton s
grease and the Lord
went over there the ether eve
ming to get some pink-roots. and they
asked me how my catarrh was, told
them it was about the same. some
times very bad. then again [ hardly
felt it; that l experienced the most
trouble from my asthma. Even then
/ was wheeling like dilapidated
oldbellows, from my walk up hill.
"You can be cured of both, and
it won't cost you MORN q quarter -
said he, sitting down, leaning back
and sticking his feet up on n line
with our faces.
Positively. I would have given
our last years files OF the Baptist
Banner to have seen the hind legs
of his chair slip and let him down
suddenly, the low-bred old back
slider!
~All you have to do said he, els
to take about three spoenfulls of
Newton's grease, melt it, and snuff
it up your nose as hot as you can
bear it. For the sake of gettin'
well, you could stand it pretty hot,
you know; and for the asthma
would advise you to rub it on we'll
all over your breast and throat. and
up undeEyour ears. and take about
a teaspoonful inwardly three times a
day"
That riled me, and I up and said ::
''Brother Fisher, do you suppose |
have no feelings at all; I'd hug
my catarrh. and rejoice and gloat
over my asthma, and feel rich in
their possession, before I'd treat my
sensitive mortal frame with such
indignity! ], woman in good
standing in the church? Never -
Il don't insist on it," said he :;
Its none of my business but here
it is before you, life and health and
strength, Or a poor patched-up, old
frame. not able to stand anything
a-wheezing around this way p
smiled, and turned the subject,
though 1 felt as If my eyes snapped
fire.
Sister Fisher sat combing her
hair; it was long and even and |
couldn't help admiring it. l said,
Your hair is very beautiful for a
woman of your age. don't see how
you keep it looking so bright and
glossy"
She laughed, little embarrassed
sniff, and said she took good care
of it.
"Woll. tell the whole TRUTH said
he, looking as though l were his
victim; ''she never dyes her hair
just uses Newton's grease pretty
freely that answers the same as a
dye, with none of its bad effects, and
perfumes it agreeably, besides" and
he looked at my thin scraggy hair.
Just as we came out Of the garden
with the pinkroots, Dick and Club
came home from school.
"Our Club was sick in school, to-
day." said Dick.
"What peared to be the matter p
said old Byron, frightening up with
the prospect of case.
"Oh, JUS sick. and didn't want to
play, or nothin' =
The father laid his hand roughly
on the child's foretop, and turned his
head back, bringing the little wan,
pinched face up into full view, and
said, "Oh, it's wor-rums, know by
the white about his meuth-nothing
but wor-rums come in, son, I'll cure
you in no time"
The child put up his lip pitifully,
and clung to the mothers skirts.
Come right along; none O your
snifflin,' or I'll tend to you in a way
that'll quicken yer paces, said old
Blue Beard.
"Oh, l don't want to take any
more o Newton's grease. l don't
want to, father; oh-oh =
Yes, you will, too! Chubhuck
come here this minute, or I'll whale
you like a sack?'' said the inhuman
father.
l hurried away. AsI closed the
gate it creaked on its wooden hinges
with a doleful squall couldn't
help it, really; hailed out, Broth
er Fisher; ho Brother Fisher! your
gate needs a dose of Newton's 8
grease !"
Oh, but the old fellow did cast a
vengeful black glance at me! He
looked as if-had he not been q
member of Pottsville church-he
would have told me with infinite
relish, to go to some place not half
so comfortable as home.
1t is strange to what extremes
some people do 60 with their particu-
Tor whine 47.fL,y,'c Homo 1TGoyt