The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-09-18


tThen you don't know half the ira
ditions Of your country. Why. Jones,
I, whom half an Englishman, and have
followed the colors half over the.world,
I'm better Welshman than You are.
Why, I thought everybody knew about
David Gaur and the pigs"
"Tell it to us, captain; tell us the
story"
''You know" said the captain, hem
ming and strolzing his mustache medi-
tatively, "that David Gaur had a pecu-
liar gift. How he acquired it, nobody
ever knew; it was said he was taught
it by old Morris Morris, who lived to be
a hundred and twenty, and that Morris
father had it from the fairies. But how
ever he got it doesn't matter, he had it ;
and as he never impaired the secret, it
died with him. I offered him sove-
reign once to show me how he did it,
and swore most solemnly I'd keep it a
profound secret. But no. I wish I'd
bid higher now; it would have been
something to fall back upon in ones old
age, something that Lawyer Jones
couldn't lay his claw upon"
Sc But what was it. captain What
was the secret he had ?"
i" It was the art of frightening pigs, -
said the captain solemnly. All, now
don't go away with the idea that that's
nothing. I don't mean startling 'em !;
any fool with an umbrella can cry
shoe shoo! and do that. But what
I mean is downright frightening them,
injecting their very souls with fear /;
making them mad, so that they'll jump
out of their very skins with terror.
Now, you know, they're very imagine
tive beasts are, pigs, and at the same
time they're very cunning. They're not
to be taken in and if you were to make
all the horrible noises you could put
your tongue to, they'd quietly whisk
their tails and cock their eyes, and
think you fool for your pains But
this was how David went to work. You
know that Penliyn May fair is tre-
mendous fair for pigs. They all come
from the north side of the county, and
must cross the bridge over the Dulas
to get there at all, and when they're
crossed the river there's long straight
piece of road, with grass on each side
of it, and high stone walls beyond the
grass. Well, here it was David would
take his stand, or seat, rather, for he
squatted himself down in the grass, and
then he made himself round hole,
like basin foot deep, at the side of
the road and there he'd sit from early
daylight collecting Lis tax on pigs. If
there were less than ten he charged
penny, and so on, a penny for every
half-score. That was Dayid's tax and
very good tax-gatherer he made. He
wasn't always altering it, moving it up
and pulling it down but he put on a
reasonable figure, and stuck to it.
But suppose the people wouldn't
pay it2"
80 That's just what they made up their
minds to, one fair-day. The principal
pig proprietors held a meeting on
Llanfer green, and come to resolution
that they wouldn't pay David Gaur
any more. You see his reputation was
traditional only; they'd none of them
seen his powers exercised; and these
modern views of yours, Jones, had got
into their heads, 1 suppose. Anyhow,
they came TO the resolution, and stuck
to it, with fear and trembling. Every
body remarked how beautifully the pigs
marched that day from Llanfer green.
There was a good body of them togeth-
er, and you'd have expected that they'd
have given some trouble; but no, they
walked as orderly as so many Chris
tians, as if they'd made up their minds
to show how pigs could behave for
once. Well, the bridge was crossed,
aud the advance guard of pigs came in
front Of David's redoubt, the hole he'd
dug in the ground. David held out
his hat, as usual, for the toll. The
master of the pigs shook his head.
Dim tally No pay to-day for pig.
David understood the thing III mo-
ment, saw through the plan of the re-
volt. Down went his head into the
hole. Gentlemen, it's impossible to
describe noise. If You can imagine
the most diaboical din in nature, and
then make it twice as bad, you'll have a
faint idea of the roar that came out of
the hole in the ground.
Where were the pigs? You must
imagine whirlwind of pigs, simeon
Of pigs, a tornado 81 pigs Little pigs,
big pigs, blue pigs, white pigs, flying
about like slzy-rockets in every direc-
tion. They flew over the stone walls,
they dashed over the parpet of the
bridge, away they went, away, east,
west. north, south. In a few moments
the country about for miles was spot
ted with flying pigs. And their mas
ters, David and Morris, and Richard
and John, and all the rest of them,
where were they? FLYING, too, across
the country bursting ont their best
trousers, barking their shins, and spoil
ing their CATERS over the stone walls
And what was the use of it? Did you
ever try 70 catch couple of hundred
mad pigs oareering across the country
The fair was pretty near failure,
can tell you. Only the few people
who'd stopped behind, and paid Dayit
his toll, and brought their pigs in quiet
lv. they had the pick of the buyers
and through there being so few pig
in the market, they got pretty nigl
what prices they liked.
/ f'And then the poor fellows who's
lost their pigs came to David, and be
sought him, with fearful eyes, to cal
the piggio wiggies back again, and gav'
him double toll to do it. But fame,
he wasn't as successful at that as he'S
been at sending them adrift Anyhow
after that, he always got his taxes paid
in peace and quietness.
Ab, don't tell me. said the cap
tain, getting up and putting on his hat
"of your railroads and nonsense