Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-06-06

From the Utica On. W Morning Herald.
do not like pork as an article OF
diet, but as means of promoting
an appetite feel no hesitancy in
recommending it.
Who owned the particular pig
which promoted my appetite could
never be found out. Every few days
an insane man would be raving
around with a Ratchet, gun and a
dog, inquiring who owned that pig,
and nothing was ever found out
about it, except that it belonged to
one of the neighbors. One of the
neighbors ought to be ashamed of
himself, whoever he is. never
knew what that pig wanted around
our house. He seemed to be looking
for something; in the flower beds,
among the potatoes, in the poultry
yards, and once or twice he walked
in at the front door. He was look
ing for something, and he found
everything, l should think, except
the cellar drain; but still he wore a
dissatisfied air. 1t finally occurred
to me that the pig thought the fence
ought to be fixed, and rs l wanted
to do something to satisfy him l
went out the next morning and col
lected all the broken boards and
things / could find, and fixed the
fence; and after it was all done the
pig was following me towards the
house for breakfast. l did not know
where he got in, and he did not
know, but [ made up my mind he
must find the place. He was will
ing enough to look for it, and l
chased him through the currant
bushes and over table cloth spread
out to bleach, and in among the
dahlias, and over the onions and
everywhere else, but he didn't find
the hole he came in at, nor did /.
However, l had an appetite for
breakfast.
Then Maria came out and stood
Oh the back steps, like female Ma
poleon, and issued orders and proc
lamations and general directions
with the rapidity of chain light
ming, and with beautiful and i'm
plicit trust in providence, threw fire
bricks, shovels, and sad-irons, and
stove wrenches, and broken crock
cry with her left hand in every pos
sible direction except where the pig
was, and if her right hand knew
what her left hand was doing it
knew a pile more than I could keep
track of. The pig upset hen coop
and stepped on three chickens, and
made a maniac of the old hen, who
blamed me for the whole affair, and
acted accordingly, and the pig got
into the corn and refused to come
out under any circumstances, al
though l had given up all idea of
finding where he came in, and he
opened the gate and let down the
bars. Maria went into the house
for some more furniture to throw,
and l tried to get the dog on the
pig. The dog had learned to re-
gard the pig as one Of the family,
and could not understand my allu
sions, and finally got out of patience
and inserted a fine set Of natural
teeth in my left leg. He did not get
the wrong pig by the ear, but it
amounted to the same thing SO far
as was concerned. Maria came
out with a broom and explained the
situation to the dog, and the dog
went into thc-corn after the pig, and
came out in thirty seconds a bank
rupt community. I had appetite
enough for week. Finally bor-
rowed two boys of a neighbor, and
the grocer's man, and drove the pig
out after he had tramped down all
the corn, and he made for place in
She picket fence where there
never had been a hole, and just made
one and got out. My appetite
would have justified my eating that
pig, but circumstances would not
allow. There used to be some poet
ry about "Who is my neighbour"
and that's what | want to know
ncighbor who owns that pig.