The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-02-24
Making:a Fortune.
BY MARX TWAIN,


Samuel McFadden was q Waterman in
bank. he was poor, but honest, and bill
lie was without reproach. The trouble
with him was that he felt he was not ap
preciated. His salary was only four dol
lars week, and when he asked TO have
yitraised, the President, Cashier, and Board
OF Directors glared at him through their
spectacles, and lroWned on him, and told
him TO 20 out and stop his insolence
when he knew business was dull, and the
bank could not meet It's expenses, let alone
layishing one dollar on such Q miserable
worm as Samuel McFadden. And theI
Samuel McFadden felt depressed, sad
and the naughty Scorn Of the President
and Cashier cut him TO the soul. BE
would often go ont into the side.yard, and
bow his venerable twenty.four inch head
and weep gallons and gallons Of tear
over his insigni6cance, and pray that he
might be made worthy Of the Cashiers
and Presidents polite attention.
One night q happy thought struck him
a CLEAN Of light burst upon him, and gaz
ing down the dim vista Of years with hi
eyes all blinded with Joyous tears, he saw
himself rich and respected. 30 Samue
McFadden fooled around and got jim
my, monkey.wrench, . cross'cut saw, 8
cold chisel, a drill, and about ton Of
gunpowder and ro.glycerlne, and those
things. Then In the dead Of night, hC
went to the fre-prooi safe, land after work
ing at 1t Tor q while, burst the door and
brick into an immortal smash, with such
perfect success that there wac moi
enough OF that safe lett to make q e. pet
tack. Mr.. McFadden then proceeded e
load up with coupons, greenbscks, cur
rency, and specie, and 10 nail all the old
change that was laying anywhere, so thai
he pranced out of the bank with over g
million OF dollars on him. he then re-
tired TO an unassuming residence out OF
town, and then sent word r. the detec-
tives where he was.
A detective called on him the next day
with soothing note from the cashier.
McFadden treated 1t with lofty scorn.
Detectives called on him every day with
humble notes from the President, cashier
and Board Of Directors. At last the bank
officers got up magnificent private sup
per, to which Mr.. McFadden was invited
He came, and as the bank officers bowed
down in the dust before him, he pondered
well over the bitter past, and his soul was
filled with exultation.
Before he drove away In his carriage
that night, 1t was all fixed that Mr.. Nc.
Fadden was to keep half o million Of that
money, and to be unmolested II he re-
turned the other half He fulfilled his
contract like an honest man, but refused
with naughty disdain, the offer of the
Cashier, 10 marry his daughter. .
Mac Is now honored and respected. He
moves In the best society; he browses
around in purple and fine linen and other
good clothes, and enjoys himself first rate.
And often now he takes his infant on bis
knee, and tells him o! his early life, and
Instills holy principles into the chil6's
mind, and shows HIM how, by industry
and perseverance and frugality and nitro.
glycerine and monkey wrenches and cross
cut saws and familiarity with the detective
system, even the poor may rise to sft1u.
ence and responsibility.