The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1873-09-22
ttanbur,,s Story OF The Cow,

The man across the way who enjoyed
yegetableS fresh from his own garden
through the summer, has bought cow.
His wife told him how nice il would be
to have COW on the pretdises, SO to
have fresh milk and pure every day,
and always in time, and always in abun-
dance. Then they could make butter
themselves, and not eat the rank stuff
out OF tho store. She told him there
was enough stuff from the garden and
table to ait1Vst keep the COW, and the
product would be Just 40 much clear
gain. He figured it up himself with
pencil, and the result surprised him.
He wondered why he had not kept
COW before, shd inYardly condemned
himself for the loss hd had been iniiict-
ing upon himself. Then he bought
COW. In the evening OF its arrival hu
went out to milk II. But the animal
was excited by the strange surround.
ingS, and stepped on our friend, and
kicked over his pail, and nearly knock
ed one OF his eyes out with her tail. He
worked at the experiment for an hour,
but without any success. Then his
wife came out 10 give advice, and his
son came out to see the fun. The COW
Put one OF her, heels through the wo-
mans dress, and knocked the boy down
| in the mud, which ended their interest
in the matter. One Of the neighbots
milked the animal that night, and came
around the ne1t morning and showed
tho man how to do II. Tho third day
the cot escaped the surveillance Of the
boy who was left 10 watch her, aud
when the man came home III night, she
was nowhere to be found. The boy
had also disappeared, and our neigh
Dor found he was obliged to hunt her
up before supper. He walked around
for awhile, and then returned home,
but tile animal had not been seen.
Then he went of again and made q very
thorough search, and about ten o'clock
that night he came back with the COW,
his clothes begrimed with Precipitation
aud dust, and his face flushed and
scratched. He wanted 10 kick the AMI
mails ribs in, but realizing that such a
course would result in pecuniary dani.
age, he changed his mind. The boy
wishes no had obeyed the first impulse.
On tho fourth day they churned, so
to have fresh butter for tile table. The
mother took hold Of the dasher first,
because she said she tised to do II when
n girl; and liked no better sport She
pounded away until she caught crick
in tho back tllat doubled her up like q
knife, and then she put tho heir to 1t.
He had been standing around eagefly
waiting for chance, and grumbling
because he didn't get II, and when the
dasher was placed in his hand he was
80 happy hc could hardly contain him.
self. He pumped away for M hour ut
IL; then he said II he had 10 do II any
more no would run away and be rob.
ber. At noon tho man came home and
learned the situation. He was little
disguised at the "tom.foolery," rs lie
called II, and took hold the ctitirn him.
self, and made it bounce for awhile.
Then his stomach commenced to fall in,
and his spine to unjoint, and Ills should
es to loosen. He stopped and wiped
oil the persplrntloni huu loohet hEounI1
with melancholy cast to his features,
and went at IL again. The butter
didn't come, however, but everything
in the way OF oratorical effect did. He
got so dreadfully excited that his wife,
smelling strong OF camphor, took the
dasher away from him, and went to
work herself. At this the son put his
cap under his Jacket, and miraculously
disappeared. Later in the day the milk
was poured around the grape vine. On
the fifth day the COW knocked down a
length OF fence to tho next lot, and ate
all the oranges from q tree that stood in
a tub, and when the people attempted
to drive her out, she carried away new
ivy on her horns, knocked down a yalu-
able vase Of flowers, and capped the
climax by stumbling over box OF
MOSES, and falling on pile OF hot
house frames. On the sixth day our
neighbor sold his COW to butcher, and
now eats strong butter which comes
from the store.