Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-11-06

| EP1TAPH for an aeronaut-"Gone
up"
TwNs, like misfortunes, never come
single.
| A PAPER "mill''-a fight between
rival journals.
A FLoUR1sH1Na business
penmanship.
The best printing this side of the
ocean is done at Cambridge.
IT is significant that "to ADVERTISE
rhymes with "to realize" -
The Wilmington, N. c., Star prints
a column entitled t'Star-iust
"THE great American obituary pro-
voker" is the latest for kerosene.
VIRGINIA is said to have enjoyed the
most favorable season this year for the
tobacco crop of any since the war.
Two new steamers will be put on the
Cunard line next year, one of which
will be the largest steamer adoat.
THREE captains in the Cunard service
have made over three hundred voyages
across the Atlantic.
TIE net debt of the new city of Boe-
ton will be about $50, 600 600 when
consolidation takes place.
A CLERGYMAN removing from one city
to another, marked large box contain
ing his sermons, "Keep dry"
T. MAST is registered on the al
phabetica1 list of arrivals at Boston
as "Nast, T."
WRITING about the "Sports of the
Maumee, a chap tells about how he
saw female horse-thief hung.
J. s. CLARKE, the American actor, is
still in London, playing his we'll known
round of characters.
D1sRAELI is reported to be engaged
on new novel. in which socialism and
communism will be discussed.
| Miss AGNES ETHEL, the actress, is no
more. and in her place exists Mn.
Francis w. Tracy, of Buffalo.
LOUIE MUHLBAcH left . novel enti-
tied :Von Koniggratz mach Chisel-
hurst" in an unfinished state.
! A VETERAN observer says that little
baby is an easy thing to love, but big
baby is hard thing to love, especially
If you have marrled her-or him.
JOHN RoEss1E, the Oldest lager-beer
brewer in America, died recently in
Massachusetts,, leaving a fortune of
more than 81, ,O0O, 600.
A CHICAGO druggist asked q woman
what she wanted of arsenic, and she
replied, " I want it for rats and my old
man." Her frankness stopped the sale.
A CONTEMPORARY says that "Stray
leaves from soon-coming blossoms dut-
ter around in prophecy Of weddings to
be-" Let 'em fut.
IT is solemn thing to be caught in
a large city, away from home, with
barely dollar in your pocket and no
poor relations near to help you spend it.
FLAX culture is said to be largely on
the increase in the northwest, but the
crop is mostly grown for seed, there
beirg no means of manufacturing the
fibre.
AR1srARcm BEY, the new Turkish
Minister, is said to have " prominent,
broadly rooted nose, and bright, brown
eyes" In TACT, he is highly nasal and
hazel!
STOKES, as he watches his trial,
scrupulously attired and with his curly
hair cut short, appears in much better
health than at any time since his first
appearance in court. =
M1ss LOUISE ALcorr's mother, who
is old enough to know better, says:
'sI am 70, but mean to 60 the polls
before I die, even if my daughters have
to carry me-" .
A LITTLE girl was asked what was the
meaning Of the word happy: She gave
a pretty answer, saying, 1T IS to feel
AS if you wanted to give all your things
to your little sister,"
"THERE:s one ship I always steer
clear Of" said an old bachelor sea.
captain, " and that's courtship; cause
on that ship there's always two mates
and one captain.
A NEBRASKA man, on his dying bed,
remembered that his wife was smoking
some hams, and he said, "NOw, Mari
eta, don't go to snufing around, and
forget them hams"
Dm you ever hear the noise of .
quartz crushing machine when in full
operation Well, that is nothing COM
pared to the clatter that would ill the
world if good resolutions were made
of grass or crockery ware.
Ar juvenile party 0pe. little fellow.
rejoicing in the splendor of his new
clothes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark: 1'You amt dressed
as we'll as am" .'Well," retorted
the other, "I can lick you, anyhow"
Tim proprietor of q young ladies'
academy in Illinois has utterly ruined
1>so H,,~ k>~,n 10 H>oS SnI
in large number of papers picture
of the building, with two girls standing
ON the balcony with last years hats on
their heads.
Mrs. BUasBY has got q nice place on
the Sugar Hollow Road, some three
miles from Danbury. But the family
don't like it, because it prevents them
from getting to chur,h. They were IN
to visit the circus to-day, and told rs
about it.-Danbury Ne,rs.
IT is the Bowling Green Democrat
which tells this: "During an address
by Mr.. -, in Allen county. . few
days ago, gentleman in the audience
arose partly to his feet, and with pa
thetic tenderness remarked Ouch!
He had been sitting ON wasp, and the
wasp had just noticed it,"
Miss SHoDDY-"' Faint no use pro-
posin' marriage to me, Mr.. Smithers.
When a gals As rish'n "a pOoty as / be,
faint likely she's going to take an
Amerikin, when she kin 60 to Europe
an git Principally, or at least a
German Barony or a French County
or husband.
! CATCHING A TARTAR.-''SOy you don't
care about donkey riding, missy. And
why2" 40, Pee got q pony, and one
doesn't care about donkeys after that,
You know" "Has q pony got more
legs than a donkey, then9" Missy,
(who doesn't like to be chatied.-
eyes; exactly t,uice as many as some
donkeys that know of. J."
The slowly starving editor of a pa
per in Brattleboro, VT, drops into
poetry as follows:
1--WE had sweet dreams the other night.
| When all around was still,
We dreamed we saw a host of folks
| Paw up their printers bill.
We wish the dream would CONS to pass.
And our empty pockets fill
| Tar da ump . to diddle dunn,
Te tump to iddle dill,