Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-05
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

caDlnet-fn2k6I.
THE body polite of Spain needs spring
.diet-Dux and peace. r.frH.4 .-
A PATRI-ARCHAL pleasure on farm
The early and bright rising son.
The ''base-ball fever" is eminently
catching" in its nature. ref
ETIQUETTE-Ify you pay visit, it is moi
necessary to take receipt.
WHEN betting men say they'll take you,
take care it's not in.
WHO breaks pays" This does rot APP
ply to railroads, as they pay men to brake.
ADVICE to landowners complaining OF
poor crops-Dig and man your fields.
PERPLRXING QUESTION Boston
derived from Boss-Town or Boosting!
A ROUND of pleasure sometimes renders
it difficult to make things square.
MorTo for aquatic contests-Arma.
virumaue, cano. The arms, the man, and
the canoe.
FORTUNE may favor fools, but that's a
poor reason why you should make fool
of yourself. Nd
CINCINNATI is getting herself pretty
thoroughly vaccincinnated on account of
. a BANGOR clergyman calls the new
DOHitLS
dies of finery and frivolity."
WHAT did the spider do when he came
out of the ark? He took ny and went
home.
A PRUDENT man, says witty French
man, is like pin his head prevents him
from going too far.
A POPULAR parlor magszine-A big
kerosene lamp. They furnish reading
matter for the million.
PAwNBRoKERs and drunkards are al
ways taking pledges; the former some
times keep them.
GOETHE styled architecture "Frozen
music" Coleridge calls Christian archi-
lecture "Petrified Religion"
A MAINE court has lately decided that a
railway ticket is good for six years, if not
used before the expiration II that time.
PREPARED rock salt, with which peo-
pie can make sea baths for themselves at
home, is put up and sold BY druggists.
TIE bed to he avoided next to an onion
bed, is probably the bed of the river-un-
less one is partial to sheets of water.
1T is said that the ladies, In fixing the
new styles for wearing their hair this fall,
will get their cues from the Chinese.
10 WHAT is the difference between a Jew
and q lawyer? The one gets his law from
the prophets, the other his profits from
the law.
A CONTEMPORARY speaks of a fashion
able tailor as being one of the old war
horses of the trade. A heavy charger
probably. ~
LEGISLATIVE STATIONERY" bills in Iowa
are no longer to be allowed to include
hardware, groceries, or wearing ap-
parel. W en-
If it takes man two days to make a
post hole In broken ground, how long
will 1t take him to make broken post
wholel IN NJ
"WILL you venture on an orange %
asked hostess ofLeigh Hunt, at dessert.
"Not without imminent danger of falling
of, madam" was his reply.
CONUNDRUM FOR EXPLORATION TO
ENGLAND-Why should all elevators now
be removed from buildings? Because
(h)oisters are out of season.
THEY have discovered another immense
jaw-bone up in Baker county, Oregon. 1t
is supposed to have belonged to an ante
diluvia1 poker-player.
SPEAK kindly in the morning it light
ems the cares of the day, and makes the
household and all its affairs move along
smoothly. Speak kindly at night, for it
may be that, before dawn, some loved one
may finish his or her space of life for this
world, and it will be too late to ask for
giveness.
A SERIOUS charge has been brought
against school-teacher in Wisconsin, the
specifications of which are, 81. Immoir-
atty! 2. Parshality! 3. Keeping disor-
derby schoal A. Carrying unlafe wep-
ings" The committeeman who wrote the
charge,thinks.of running the school him
self next quarter. ~
"G6T any medicine ?' asked boy, en-
tering drug store the other day. "Yes,
lots of it. What do you want?" inquired
the clerk. sob. it don't make any differ
ence, so it's something lively. Dad is
fearful bad" "What ails him?" asked
the clerk. "Dunno," said the boy; "but
q he's run down awful. He Just sits around
the stove all day and mopes he hasn't
walloped mother since Christmas. guess
he's going to .dien' .......
OF a Memphis belle it is said that
''words issue from her lips, each instinct
with separate life and expression of their
own, and might almost be likened to bees
leaving the ealyx of flower, each charged
with its burden Of pollen and honey
sense and sweetness" The reporter who
wrote this is to be excused, for they have
had cholera scare in Memphis.
SHERIDAN was much annoyed In the
House of Commons by member who
kept constantly crying, "Hear! heart"
The witty orator described fellow who
wanted to play rogue, but only had sense
enough to play fool. and exclaimed, with
great emphasis, "Where shall we find a
more foolish knave or more knavish
fool than he 90 "Hear hear !" shouted
I the troublesome member. Sheridan
turned round, and thanking him for the
prompt information, sat down amidst a
general roar of laughter.