Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1873-05-08
Fresh Nutmegs.

lFrom the Danbury Nevs.l
The women are shopping now.
Nothing but the top-knot of the aver
age clerk is visible above the towering
counter, except when he goes up for
another piece of goods, and it is inter-
esting to study the emotions that are
to work within by the wrinkles of the
scalp. All no one can really under
stand the mighty thoughts that surge
through their brain as they are asked
if they ''havn't got something q little
lighter" We who have comfortable
homes, and kind parents, and bakers
bread, rarely think of this.
A Pine street man enjoys himself.
His dog chases his nelghbors' hens,
his own hens dig up their gardens, his
cow breaks down their fences, and his
cats fight on their roofs. But his faith
'er died maniac, and his grandmother
was respectable lunatic for thirteen
years, and he owns a couple of guns,
and is quick-tempered, the neighbors
are wise IN their generation, and keep
clear of him.
Eighteen pals and thirteen wash
tubs in the front yard of a Pine-street
resident, Tuesday morning, indicated
the NUMBER of people who helped to
celebrate the fifth anniversary OF his
marriage the evening before.
Our reporter, in passing through
Nelson street, Monday, was surprised
to see middle-aged man dart out Of
doorway and woman soon appear
with a broom, and shrilly exclaim.
"Don't you come back to this house
till you get your life insured, you
speckled jackass."
Those people who live to healthy
old age are those who take care of
themselves. There is one on Main
street who guards against the frequent
sudden changes of weather by wearing
at the same time a linen duster and an
overcoat. On cool day he puts the
overeoat over the duster, and when a
sultry spell comes on ne puts the duster
outside the overeoat.
An aged citizen of Memphis, Tenn,
sends us letter Of advice which we
appreciate and are thankful for. He
recounts his own sad experiences, and
in closing, feelingiy observes:
"Bailey, my boy, you are doing
well, but for Gods sake don't bite of
more than you can chaw."
He thinks we use plug; he is mis-
taken. --t
Every family should have a new
screw-driver. The borrowed screw.
driver hasn't got any handle to II; and
If it has it is split. The blade Is too
blunt for the screw, and one corner 10
gone. 1t slips and sticks into your
thumb, and breaks the screw In two
and throws you off your feet, and then
it gets lost, and the owner comes
around for it, and swears it was nearly
new, and valued mostly on account of
its associations, and he wouldn't have
had it lost for ten times its value in
solid gold. You had better buy new
screw-driver at once.
! Did you ever see man fish around
in the bottom of a tub of water for q
piece OF soap? At the first he simply
down upon it to pick it right up, and
is very much surprised to find that he
hasn't got it. Then he approaches it
more cautiously, puts his hand over it,
and then comes down noiselessly until
he gets every finger upon it, and then
Isqueezes it tight, and-misses it. He
looks at it for moment before making
another effort, and fills up the interval
4 with few remarks. The third AZ
tempt is a sort of semi-circle, described
j with a great deal of sagaeity, but is o
/. failure. Other remarks follow. Then
he makes a succession of dives, and
lslops the water over his clothes, and
drenches the carpet, and catches hold
of the soap several times, and lets 60
of it again, and screams at the top I
his voice: aud finally, in perfect dc =
spair, sits down on the floor and acti-
ally hOwls.