The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-08-22
THE FAMILY LETTER.
How the Materials are Produced. II.
How They Are USed-..What Be
comes of the Result.

How the Materials are Produced. J..
How They Are Used.saWhat Be
comes of the Result.
From the DAnbury NowSl
The family letter Is written on Sundays.
The reason that day Is selected Is not
alone because Of the leisure 1t presents.
The quiet oil the day, its reliei from all
influences that irritate or agit0te, trees
irrelevant and antagonlstic matter, and
makes 1t pre-eminently q fit occasion for
communing with distant loved ones. In
nine cases out Of ten the letter Is written
by the head Of the family, and OF those
sent an equal proportion Is addressed TO
his Wile's folks. We don't know why 1t ls
that man 30 rarely writes to his own
folks, but as It Is not the province Of this
article to treat on that subject, we will
pretend we don't care. The hour being
selected for inditing the letter, the first
thing ia to find the paper. There
Is 6lWays 9 drawer In every we'll
regulated family for keeping such things.
Il is either In the table or stand. Here
the writing paper and odd screws and fd.
die strings and broken locks and fish lines
and grocery receipts are kept. There may
be other things, but II there are he will
see them. The sheet Of paper is finally
found; the fly stains neatly scraped of,
and the search commences for the ink
and pen. The former Is invariably found
on the mantel next to the clock, and Is
Immediately laid on the table convenient
10 the persplring man, who sarcastloally
inquiries II the letter Is TO be written to-
day or next Sunday. This inspires the
wife with new zeal In tho search. She
goes over tho drawer again, because she
knows he would not see anything II II
was right under his nose, but the pen
Is not there. Then she looks over the
top Of the bureau and lifts everything on
the front room table, and says II seems 80
singular It cant be found, when she saw
It only the day before, and thought about
the letter. Then she goes into the pantry,
and alter exploring the lower shelfin vain,
stands upon chair and carefully goes over
the top shelf, where tho medicine bottles
and unused cans are stationed. After she
has done this, she starts up stairs and pref
ty soon returns with the pen, and takes It
to the sink 10 wash the grease from 1t, but
does not succeed in quite elHclDg the del.
Ioate scent oi bergamot. This leads him
to observe that anybody who takes pen
holder to lit hair grease from a bottle Is
too pure and innocent for this world.
Everything in readiness, good humor Is re.
stored the wife takes a seat opposite with
her elbows on the table and her chin In her
hands, and assumes an expression Of coun-
tenance that Is mysteriously calculating
to both encourage and depress the writer;
and he graSps the pen tightly between
his fingers and stares at the paper with
an intInsi,y thai IL entirely unnecessary.
The date line starts of glibly and then
ceases as It reaches the date itself. He
puts the holder In his mouth and imme-
diately splts 1t out again, making up
face that is no wise suggestive Of berga.
mot, and pettishly asks her If she knows
the day of the month. or course che does.
It Is the 1Sth-or Is It the-but-no-it
must be. She hesitates, stares at him,
wavers and Is lost. Sne don't know wheth.
er Il Is the 18th or 18th, but the almanac
will tell, and she at once starts to hunt II
up. This occasions delay fsome fifteen
minutes, during which he makes ninety
five passes at one fly. The date having
been satisfactorily settled upon, and the
things which rolled over the floor as that
stand drawer Unexpectedly fell out having
been restored to their place, the date line
is completed and "Dear Mother" started.
The pen Is home pen Of bashful mould,
and whenever It starts line It requires
half dozen passes to make It give down.
All home pens do this. And all
homo sheets OF paper have weak
spots which the ink refuses to cross,
thus creating some remarkable division
OF words, and considerable confusion
among sentences. Some OF these spots
are two inches in diameter, and anybody
In the next room can tell the moment the
writer comes TO them, Just as well as II he
was looking over his shoulder. When the
letter is completed, which generally oc-
ours at the end Of the flfth hour from the
commencement, It Is carefully read over
and supplied with absent words, and then
gone over again and artisticAlly touched
up with the pen at the bare places. Then
II Is folded up ready for the envelope, and
the discovery Is made that there Is no en-
velope In the house, and the letter is
tucked In behind the clock until the want
issupplied.