, 1873-06-01


oftt1me wondered much and often thought
The beast betrayed roynl monazchs mind. :
And mako than her him still when they had fatn
-1oaqaias Niae7, in tn< ors,zana " for Jans
| Utilizing Natures forces Teaching Swallows
"A cynio describes marriage az an altar On
| which man lays his wallet and woman her hffec-
tons.
Little girl at tho breakfast table" Mamma,
this Is very old butter,-Iye found gray hair in
Should pickpocket attempt to steal your
| watch, toll him you have no time to spare.
.-sediments make good emigrants. They ara
| suro to settle.
How can man see the point Of joke when
he is the butt7
the intellect before resorting to the other OK
treme.
"A new street scholar has put On paper tho
fact that he would "rathcr be little girl and
obey his mother than be dog and obey the
moon:
-Hpkins aroused his wife from sound sleep
the other night, saying he had seen ghost ia
the shape Of an ass. Oh, let me alesp," WAS
the reply Of the iate dame, "and don't be
frightened at your own shadow"
Next boy-What is the Capital Of louisiana
Boy-It hasn't got none; the Kellogg fe1lera
hnTe stolen it all.-Ne,o Orleans Herald
The wonder Of science at Cambridge, Mass,
| hitherto unrema1ked-A Gas is the philosopher
there. - :
"A medical writer says the healthiest position
| to lay in is with the head TO the north. People
who own hens should bear this fact in mind.
Little Gir1-s Oh, h1r. Beeswing, is the
paint you color your nose with the same a. that
/ mamma coloKs her cheeks with2" Nlx. B. and
| mamma enjoy themselves.
/ ~ lady went out with her little girl and boy,
| purchased tho latter rubber balloon, which ee-
| m
| seeing tears in his eyes, said: Never mind,
Ne Neldy !; when you die and 20 to Heaven you'll
People who are always Wishing for some%
| thing new should try neuralgiA
-" Is Mike McCloskey in the ranks 7n aaked
| the Commander-in-Chief, as the army stood in
line Of battle. :" Here, Gineral," said Nike,
steppfng forward: "Then let the engagement
What did the spider do when he came out Of
| the ark He took q dy and went home.
Not long since, at sunday-school, the teaeher,
claas OF small boys the sin OF Sabbath h-breaking,
asked, "Is Sunday better than any other dayf"
When the smallest boy in the class answered
promptly, "You bet your boots 1t Is, the an-
| eWer seemed satisfactory.
| -"How Is it" asked IN enthusiastic English
noblenan Of a Polish refugee Of high rank,
that you regard your count-ys rniafortunea
with such stoical indifference 2" ! have mar
| make her miserable"
| Shooting in Decatur County, Ind, must ba
nearly over for the season, A paper there aaya
"Mi1t Bryan went cunning tho other day, and
with 0squirrels, doves, 0 larks, grasshoppe7,
| and hmm sandwich"
+ One Of the fruit-dea1srs Of Portland caught
an urchin stealing nuts, and proceeded to exc
be released. because he had just been vaccinatei
| from fresh COW: What has that to do with
it ~ shouted the infuriated fruit-dealer- 'tshe
was hooking cow, and it got into my blood," :"
WAS the whimpering reply:
| hallucinntion that he was Modoc, buried PIN
headed a11ow in his fathers leg, On Saturday,
very much to the surprise OF that individual
/ The old gentleman recovered sufficiently, how
! ever, to impress this scion with the belief that
he had actually sat on q 1ava-bed.
] Some years ago lot Of fellows got out On a
-1ittle time, when one Of the number Waa taken to
the lookup. The next morning the young man
sent for friond to got him out. as he did NOT
caro- to have his father know Of his inca1cera-
| ton. The friend arrived. when the following
canversation ensued: i" Ed, how did you come
hero ?" ~ came by two mejorit;. It tad
| taken three policemen to lock tho fellow Er.
a man out West who married w1nv has
| invented device to cure her OF "eteroslly V'
praising her former husband. Whenever aha,
begins to descant on his noble qualities, this in-
How % wish be had not diedl" and The isdy I'm IN :
| mediately begins to think Of something else to
talk about
In time to catch it-{scene: Railway Sta
lion, some distance from town Time, II p. n. 4
jones' who has promised the wife OF his bosouT.
that he will return horne early that evening"
What time does the next train start for London 2:
Porter, playful1y- in capital time. sir no
occasion to bury sir; 8 o'clock tomorrow
-Is tobacco injurious? This question, it Ii
claimed by the anti-tobacconists, has been SET
! tied at Hartford, Conn.,, where q hogBhead of
the weed rolled from the dray and broke the
| teannster's Leg
An exchange tells u that "The ladies' oH
1ronton, Mo-, have united to discourage ths
| practice OF smoking in church" They won't let
smoke in railroad cars, nor in street cars, nor
in private parlors, nor in theatres, and now thaz
| want to stop us from smoking in church. Us1o
thing ia becoming really alarming.
"A gentleman at AnderBonviue practices mod-
icine, sells cofins, and breaches the gospel. He
is try1ng to secure the poalt1on Of sexton, when
he will put up s1gn that will read: Person1
killed, provided with wooden oyarooats, preached
over, and planted with neatness by the under-'
signed Patronize home industry"
sever this steak in The world" Landlsdy <rev-
erentlye"W What God hath Joined together, lot
not man put asunder."
The young men are becoming every dar.
more discou1teous, 60 the girls say.. They taxa
their dogs instead Of their LADY friends out riding
dog as riding companion, ne must admit. Ha
doesn't take up much room. He doesn't make.
remarks when horses are acting in manner which
requires your whole attention, and get enraged
because you don't answer him. He don't wear'
long wells and streaming ribbons to get into
your eyes every time the wind blows Ha
doesn't grab At the reins every time your horse
ehies or stumbles, and, moreover, 'ma" don't:
expect him home at haf-past s, -
Twenty yeazs ago the son Of o widowed
mother WAS an uneducated and half-cared for:
youth. He went into stora as an errand-boy,
saved up his money, worked hard every day, linn
tied himself to but few amnsements, principally;
fishing and seven-up, which he indu}ged in on
Sunday, 20 not to injure his employer and he ia
now worth 9260, 900. His mother enjoys luz
urious home, with every want attended to. and
the young man is now in Europe. waiting for tho
affair to blow over.-Dan6u5y Netrs.
| her dinner stolen. No clue could DO obtained OF
the thief, although it was sought with toars-
| Finally a mild plan was bit upon a tempting
doughnut nth filing OF Cayenne pepper waa
| placed in her pail, and the result watched
| Before noon q little boy Was seen at the pump.
| working it in 1ivoly manner. It seemed as Il