The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-10-10
INTELLECT IN FAT MEN.

ion of the lord chief justice, most Vem-
and tolerantly expressed, was
that there are numbers of very stout
nersons who are as remarkable for their
as any thin ones. Cour-
teously declining to deal with the liv-
ing, the presiding judge instanced the
late Sergeant Wilkins, who was certainly
no dullard, and who must have mea-
sured an unconscionable number of
inches round the waist. Dan1 Lambert,
again. who was so corpulent that when
he died his friends were fain to bury
him in a coffin as big as a grand piano
forte. and to convey him to the ceme-
tery in a broad-wheeled wagon, was a
very sharp, acute talker, and an excel
lent man of business. Sir Alexander
also mentioned Mr.. Harrison, Q. c.,
LAWYER of excessive obesity, but with
exceedingly sharp intellect. DIR, Kenea-
lev, sticking to his postulate that dull
ness and fatness go together ventured
to think that a survey of the English
bench would show a vast proportion OF
lean men over fat ones, to which Slr
Alexander promptly reioined that
Judges were, as rule, meagre, because
they worked so harl. DIR. Kenealey
had, nevertheless, the better of this
section of the argument. 1t can be
shown, by a review of judicial portraits,
that we have only had three Judges who
we're distinguished at once for ena6On-
4,OSnt and for mental attainm, nts
Chief Justice Gascoigne, who committed
Prince Harry for contempt; Page,
savage Judge, unpleasantly known for
his hanging proclivities, but very good
at yaisi 1oT.5ats, notably in eiectments; and
Jeffreys-Lord Chancellor Jeffreys-
though his fat was alcoholic and bloa-
ted. and not the unctuous beefness OF
an honest man. Sir Matthew Hale was
as thin as a whipping-post Cooke, the
attorney-general of the Regicides, had
no fat on his bones; on the other hand,
Bradshawe, the president of the high
court of Justice, was big, coarse, tieshy
man. 1t may here be noted that Brad
shave was only under the legitimate
government a sergeant-at-IaW and Gu
riously many wearers OF the coli who
have never risen to the bench have been
fat. Sergeant Taddy was stout so was
Sergeant Arabin and the case OF Ser
geant Wilkins we have already men
toned. Let it be likewise remembered
that, although for three hundred years
we have had no fat lord chancellors, the
keeper of the royal conscience was, In
the DAYS of ecclesiastical chancellOrs,
usually very portly parsonage. VOL
sey was aldermanic in proportions; nor
was st. Thomas beckett, at whose ad-
dictedness to game pie and rare bur
gundy dean hook has delicately limited,
at all approximate to a skeleton IN dl-
mensions. 1t is true that, toward the
close of his life, the saint practised the
banting system in an exaggerated de-
gree; and, but for the iudicious exam
ple of Sir Alexander Cockburn, which
bids us abstain from bringing forward
living illustrations of the argument, pre-
and con, we might point to the expert
ence of q certain eminent upholsterel
who once wrote a very remarkable book
and who therein proved most trium
phantly that fatness and dulness do moi
necessarily go together. The sublec
discussed between the bench and the
counsel for the defence, so abound'
with exceptions to any rule which the
controversialists might strive to estab
lish. that it would only be by labo
riously summing up the number o
known cases on either side and striking
balance that anything like a satisfac
tory conclusion could be formed. 1t
at the same time next to impossible t.
ascertain such balance, from the con
tinual additions that would be suggested
both to the debtor and creditor side o
the account. Napoleon the Great will
: of course, be claimed by the thin side
He was, indeed, in youth deplorabl
Iank, and it was.by a mere bag of ski
and bones that Lodi Castiglione, tn
pyramids and even Arcola was wor
l Yet Austerlitz was gained by a stou
emperor, and at Leipsic he had becom
: immensely fat. Wherever, indeed, W
: approached the question we are battle
l and checked in our efforts at solution
j Take the later kings of France. Lou
8 XIV, was undeniably clever, and, IL
t all his towering wig and high-heele
I shoes, the undertakers found out, ut h
: demise, that the grand monarque ha
Q always been lean, hatchet-faced, an
S little man. Meagre as he was, his bod.
. surgeon declared him to have been IL
most Unsuitable glutton he ever kneN
e He was nearly always eating. He 8
: the fashion of having fowl and bott
s of wine placed by the bedside in case
e waking up and feeling hungry, and
It was of this that he condescended to L
l. vite Moliere-the lean Moliere-to pa
l. take, when the stuck-up cOurtlers
l. Versailles declined to sit at table Wi
r the greatest poet of the age. Louis \
e was moderately stout; he had no brain
IS M. de Chauvelin, his minister, was tr
o mendously fat; he had "plenty brains
e Louis XVI. was much stOuter than b
J. grandfather, and he was an essential
1t dull, stupid, honest man. The cou
l. of Artois, afterwards Charles K, was
If his youth a scapegrace and in old age
'e sim0leton; he was very thin. II
r duke of Angouleme was next door to
1t idiot he was thin. The Due de Ber
was a coarse unmannerly boor he "
neither fat nor lean; while Louis XVII
the wit. the genius of the family
n cunning old Joker who so snugly G
m sconsced himself in the sheets of n
Mt poleon's state bed was phenomenal
fat. His subjects used to call b
r "I,ouis Cochon," and "Louis des HI
10 tres" Obvious considerations of {
of licacy bid us abstain from saying an
mr. thing about the four Georges althou
er much might be written on the lnJustl
d. of those accusations of stupldl
h. brought against the last George, W
Id WAS C0EUdlu1N t5OAOACAA 80
ne fool hut there can be no harm IN
AS marking that Queen Anne was fat s
in pid woman whereas George It's Que
he Caroline, although fatter, was We
.r- clever. William I'LL, in every resp
be a great man, was as thin as herrll
u his consort Mary was just little
all corpulent than her sister, but gr
IS. deal shrewder. And 30 the shuttlecf
en- of evidence is banded to and fro by
a battledores of contradictory cases.
las politics we are puzzled when we RENE
nd ber that William Pitt was lean and tt
les whereas Charles James Fox was,
lgs wards the close of his life, a man-mo
he tain. In the literature of the last {
oes tury we recall plump little Mr.. Gibb
;he the hardest student and worker OF
nto century fat Capt. Grose, the a
ian quarry; portly DR.. Parr big, hulk
lila Sam1 johnson, and hurley DR.. /
ing ney. But, on the other hand, Volt
in was spectre Southey had a lean
ish hungry look and Charles Lamb wi
ed, mere mite of man. Nearly the
instance in which we can get our fee
firm ground in this shifty controvers
,er- in resnect to DIR. Kenealey's posit