West-Jersey pioneer., 1873-03-07
THE END OF THE FARCE.

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the Credit Mobilier has at last reached
a conclusion. 1t has cost the nation {
number of hundreds of thousand dol
lars, in the pay of members, and the
cost OF investigation It began Will
an advertisement in the national play
bills, that it was to be performed as q
tragedy. It was cast in that direction
The principal performers were men
who never played high or low comedy
They We're tragedy men of the starriest
order. The order of the play, was that
of heavy villainies, of cunning entrap-
ments, of social disgraces, of lying, OF
perjury, of disgraces, of fines, of i'm
prisonments, of suicides. But some
how, after the play began, things be-
came mixed The rude villain of the
piece, played by Oakes Ames, all at
once turned up laughingly defiant
The cunning deceiver" performed by
James Brooks, became comic charac-
ter by the speech which he concocted.
The play went on solemnly for awhile,
and then disclosed itself with all the
concomitants of comedy. The testi-
mony was almost exclusively on the
Little Joker plan. There was con
slant NOW you see it, and now You
don't see it, which was excruciatingly
ludicrous. The modes of extracting
the testimony, bore strong resem-
blance to chow not to do it, Every
body testified, whether they knew any
thing about the matter, OF whether
they did not know anything about it,
and everybody testified just as they
pleased. To say that it all contradicted
all the other testimony which was of
fered, would be to say but little To
say that it not only did this, but, that
as rule, it contradicted itself would
be more nearly the whole truth. To
say that it did all this, and also contra
dicted all that might afterward be
sworn about the case, would probably
be most nearly correct. The rules
which governed it, were adopted as the
case happened to be, without any re-
gard to precedent or principle, and
from their very RIGHTEOUSNESS put
everybody into jocularity. These rules
were like SO many guerillas starting up
from all unsuspeeted bushes They
were Ishmaels whose hands were against
every mans. They were like the col
ored man in the war, who fought pro
miscuously, OF the hishman at the
Tipperary fair, whose club struck every
head, either of friend or foe, with whom
it came in contact The conclusions
which We're reached were of the same
facacial character Out of host who
were proved guilty, the House Com
mittee selected two, whose crimes were
most fragrant, and recommended their
expulsion Out of all the dishonest
members of the Senate, the committee
selected one for expulsion. It looked
at one time as if somebody must really
be expelled. But "Hoax Ames," the
author of the comedy, and who was
one of the victims selected by the
committee as a sin offering for the con-
gressional sinners, assured them that
there was no danger, as there were too
many parties implicated in the affair to
have it dangerous. It was here that
the great laugh, which brought down
the house with it's uproarious mirth,
came in. The whole audience stood
looking on with breathless interest, to
see the stern punishment of the law
inflicted. The congressman as jurors
looked at each other. Many of them
were criminals of the same dye as the
ones who were being tried, only they
had been little more fortunate in keep
ing out of the criminal dock. But it
would never do in the world to CON
denim man for crime of which they
were equally guilty; at least where it
was publicly known that they were
equally guilty. The nation would hard
ly hear that they should give verdict
of innocent Insanity was out of the
question, for if that were proved, they
would be put out of their places. So
after considerable pow-wowings, they
concluded to put their heads together,
and said nothing. That is, they got
up resolution and passed it, which
embraced a large number of words, but
which said nothing whatever. 1t could
not be. construed into innocency, it
could not be construed into guilt, it
could not be construed into anything.
1t hurt nobody, and meant nothing
And this is the end of what we have
called a farce-which the American peo-
pie have pronounceda a farce-and which
will stand as farce amid the legisla-
tion of the country forever
FELL DEAD.-On Wednesday after
noon, while little Clara Stewart, residing
at 514 Division St, was returning from