The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1873-10-15
Aunsthuld atutds .
An Open Secret.


week questions the possibility of so training
family of healthy children that their man
ners at table will be good in the absence OF
company, and, referring 80 a recent editorial
article on the subject, wants to know whether
its writer speaks from experience or merely
gives vent to an INFESTED theory. The sub
ject is an important one in itself, and it in
wolves also the whole question of family
government wherefore we gladly come back
to it.
That it is possible, and not only possible,
but extremely easy to teach young children
perfectly good manners, We know very we'll
from personal experience; and the only thing
about the matter at which we are disposed TO
wonder at all is, the extreme ease with which
it may be accomplished.
A young child, whether it be healthy or
otherwise, initiates the people with whom 1t
associates in everything. All its perfOrman-
ces are copies. If you speak dramatically,
your child viii learn to do the same thing.
If you have a drawl or nasal twang in your
speech, he will initiate it. And so it will be
with everything else. What the boy sees
other people do, he viii do, whether he be
told to do so or not. Indeed precept is al
most wholly worthless in the training of
children, because they forget the precept as
soon as they hear it, or remembering, do not
know how to apply it. 1t does no good to
tell boy that the verb to be takes the
nOminative case after it, but we know a
sturdy little fellow who never yet said " It's
me, and that because he has always heard
his parents says "lt's l." He has never
been told how to behave himself at table
but as his parents are always careful to be
courteous and polite, not only to each other,
but to him as well, he has unconsciously alb
sOrbed the habit of courtesy, which no amount
Of direct teaching would have given him.
If he is still at table when his parents leave
they ask him to excuse them, and he very
naturally does likewise if he is compelled to
leave before the meal is finished.
And his is not a solitary case by any
means, nor is he a morbidly good boy either.
He simply initiates the people around him
as all children, and in a smaller degree,
all grown folks do.
The whole secret of child training lies in
this one thing, example. IIl-mannered chill
bred are the children of illmannered parents
except in those cases which are, unfortunate
ly, common, where the children associate
more constantly with servants than with
their parents. If the child associates with
servants, its manners and its morals too, viii
be those of servants, and in the present state
of our civilization these are certainly not as
good as we would wish. For ourselves We
have no patience with domestic arrangement;
which leave no place for the little people al
the family table and in the family circle
Selfindulgent NERVES have cost many a
parent the purity of his child. We may as
we'll speak plainly on this subject as we dc
on all others. No father has right to con.
suit his own comfort at the expense of his
child's well being, and the father or mother
who turns little receptive souls over to the
ignorance, and worse, of hired nurses, is
guilty Of a grievous wrong -doiug. Your
child has a right to your society. He has a
right to sit at your table when you do, even
though his presence crowds the table uncOm-
fortably. He has right to be with you in
the parlor when you sit there, and he has a
right to the very best example you know how
to set him. You exact Of aim obedience and
respect, which is well enough; but it is of far
more Importance that you recognize his rights
than that he recognize yours. He will be
noisy now and then, but he has right to be
so, and you may easily restrain his turbu-
lenee when necessary-nOt by stamping
your foot and crying out, Stop that noise
instantly, sir, but by telling him story or
otherwise recognizing him as a rational be-
ing, capable of being interested. Make your
child your companion and then behave your
self well, and there viii be no trouble about
his manners.-Heartb and Home.