Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-22

PLAYED next-"quite unintentional, as
sure you: and green is such bad color
to play on dislike being on it very
much myself"
a think there's DOUBLE said |.
NO" cried Mr.. Rice, its as safe as a
church"
AN Irish church, Them cried Rctus,
as the ball rolled into a basNet-nOt the
one | had in view though Some of us
tried a smile, but it was forced-Rictus
| had made that joke so often.
SO the game went on, the best player
being Colonel Rayner, who, however,
rarely touched a pool, as he always played
for hazards and never for safety. Indeed,
he evidently liked to be killed out, be
cause then he could sit up by Mr.. Rice
and chat with him about county business
uninterruptedly. Not but what converse
ton was an important item with every
body-the proceedings often being sus-
| pended for several minutes while some
subject of general interest was being dis
cussed; and what with that and Dr.
Keanc's elaborate rubbing of his specta-
| Giles and Mr.. Rctus' jokes, and Captain
| WoOdwalls habit of taking pinch of
snuff before he played, and the general
custom Of going round the table to inspect
| the ball to be aimed at as narrowly as if
it were the apple which William Tell did
not shoot of the parting of his sons hair,
| we did not get through many pools in the
afternoon
This first game, however, was termi-
mated at last, and Joe was collecting the
balls in his wicker bottle, preparatory to
giving them out afresh when the door of
the room opened, and the eyes of all turn
ed upon that rare phenomenon, a stranger.
lie was man who, | suppose, must be
called good looking for his features were
regular, his hair and mustache black and
his figure well set up. He was dressed as
if for a wedding, with shining hat and
boots, and a flower in a buttOn-hOle, and
gloves that fitted like ladys. He had
a very small umbrella in his hand, and a
very large cigar in his mouth, and al
though we all glared coldly upon him, he
was not abashed one jot, but strolled care
lessly up to the cue-rack, and observed as
naturally as possible, Marker, | will take
a ball"
Well, why not? 1t was a public room,
though we 1oere in the habit of appropri-
ating it. The stranger was in his rights
Have you no other cues than these,
boy? Why, they are as crooked as rams
hCrls. Never mind; this is pretty straight
| Ink it was originally punt hole; STILL
it will do"
1t did do; if the tool was bad the work
man was good, and he slaughtered US all
around in a brilliant manner. He was
welcome to do that, but did not like the
airs he gave himself When he found that
the value Of life was but sixpence, he
smiled superciliously. When he had to
pay one Mr.. Long having liuked him, he
pulled out handful of gold to search for
the modest coin; when that gentleman re
| marked that his success was the result of
an accident, he begged him not to apollo
gize; and when, shortly afterward, the
same Mr.. Long missed putting him into
an easy pocket, and explained that it was
| in consequence of there being no chalk on
! his cue, he told him that there was still
| less cause for excuse, and he forgave him
entirely. He also asserted that the table
of which we were proud, was beast"
| Worse still, he siIenced our wit He was
just about to play upon Mr.. Ricktus, when
some one called the markers attention to
the fact that the fire was going out
rs it? Lock the door, then, quick"
cried our joker
Il say" says the stranger, rising from
his contemplated stroke, and looking the
culprit gravely in the face, before dinner
YOU know"
| II am aware of DIR. J0hnsons opinion"
said ticktus, rather discounted, land
suppose YOU agree with him. that the man
who would make pun would pick a
! pocket"
He will have to pick q ball out Of one "
said the stranger, and pumped him in.
Mr. Long was somewhat hvpochondri-
acal, and felt the need sometimes Of a little
! stimulant; but, as he could do nothing
without an apology, he always carried a
medicine glass in his pOcket,and measured
| his brandy out by it. He went through
! that performance on the afternoon in
question; the brandy brought him by the
waiter was, as usual, an ordinary wine
glasstul, and it exactly fitted his me 4sure,
but he poured it from the little ego" into
the graduated medicine glass with the ut
| most gravity, mixed it with water in q
tumbler, and made face as he swallowed
| the first gulp.
All thanks for reminding me" cried
the stranger; "it is my medicine time, too
Waiter bring me a peg, double shotted."
'lcssir" said the waiter; "but | rather
think we are hOut Of it."
What No soda water?"
ooh, yessir"
Il see; you don't understand civilized
English here. Put two glasses Of brandy
to one bottle Of soda, and bring it. Is that
plain?"
Thus he aspersed our civilization, as he
had slandcred our table, and Chatfed some