davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29
The GOslin.
BY JOSH BILLINGS,


The goslin IL the old goose's yunp child
They are yeller all over, and az soft az a
ball Ov wOrsted. Their foot IL wovc whole.
and they kan swim az eazy az drop ov
kastor oil on the water.
They are born annually about the 18th
ov May, and never waz known tew die
naturally.
Ii man should tell me he had saw a
goose die natral and square deth,
wouldn't believe him under oath aft
that, not even if he swore he had lied
about seeing goose die
The goose are different in one respekt
from the human family, who are sed tew
grow weaker but wiZer; whareaz a poslin
alwus grows tutfer and more phoolish.
| hav seen goose that they sed waZ 50
years old last June, and he didn't look an
hour Older than one that waz II.
The goslin waddles when he walks. and
paddles when he swims, but never dives
like duk, out ov sight in the water, but
only changes ends.
The food ov the goslin il rye, corn, oats,
and barley, sweet apples, hasty pudding.
and billed kabbage, cooked potatoze, raw
meat, and turnips, stale bred, kold hash
and the buckwheat kakes that are left
over.
They amt so partiklar az sum pholks
what they eat, and won't git mad and quit
If they kant hav wet toast and lam chops
every morning for breakfast
If was going tew keep boarders,
wouldn't want emmy better feeders than an
old goose and - goslins If kouldn't suit
them should konklude had mistaken
mi kalling.
Roast goslin IL good nourshment, if
you kan git enutf ov it, but thare aint
much waste meat on a goslin.
l hav alwus notissed, when yu pass yure
plate up for sum more baked goslin, at
hotel, the cOlOred brother Gums bak empty
with plate, and tells you, "Mster, the roast
goslin IL no mOre."-N. Y Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29
A Very Remarkable Story.

THERE lived in Brooklyn, not long ago,
man possessed of a devil. He had inherit
ed the devil from his father, in the first
place, and had nursed it until it grew so
strong it took entire possession of him.
The devil was a very familiar one, and it's
name was Rum. The man had MANY
noble instincts, and, better than all these,
he had a loving, faithful, brave wife, who
made skillful war upon the demon, her
husbands Master Recognizing the fact
that her husband was under an overpower-
ing impulse that he longed and struggled
manfully to free himself from the passion
for drink, she bent all the energies of her
nomenclature to the task Of helping him.
She loved, and suffered, and toiled, until
at last the loving, and suffering, and toll
ing accomplished their purpose. She took
her husband by the hand, and shared with
him his struggle, until after years of
labor she overcame his devil, and saw
HIM free man again. Her battle with
Rum had been a fierce one taxing and
wasting her strength sorely, but she was
conqueror at last Her husband stood
upon manly feet and showed no sign of
falling again Several years passed away,
and this reformed man fell i'll of consumD
ton. The distinguished physician, from
whose lips we have the story, prescribed
alcoholic stimulants as the only means
possible of prolonging his life. The poor
wife was in terror, and begged the ply
stefan to recall the prescription. She told
him other long struggle and her victory,
and said she preferred that her husband
should die then, sober man, than that he
should fill drunkard's grave a year later
But the freed spirit of the man was strong,
and he undertook to take alcoholic liquors
as a medicine, and to confine himself alb
sOlutely to such times and measures in the
matter as the physicians should prescribe.
This he did, and during the months thus
added to his life he never once drank q
single drop more than the prescription
called for, and he died at last sober man,
as the wife had so earnestly prayed that
he might. But the end was not yet. When
the loving and patient woman laid him in
his grave, and saw her long labors thus
ended in the victory for which she had
toiled so hard and suffered so bitterly, she
turned in grief, to the brandy which had
been left in the house, and drinking it, she
fell herself into the power of the devil
which she had fought so heroically. And
that woman died, not many months later, a
hopeless, helpless drunkard.-HearM and
Home.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29


TIE Baltimore Gozette says that some
time ago Mr.. W. ID. Lunn, an operator in
the employ Of the Franklin Telegraph
Company Of that city, sent a telegram for
his friend, Mr. A. b. Cummings. paying
the charges, which amounted TO % cents.
When Mr.. Dunn presented his bill for 25
dents his friend refused to reimburse him.
4 suit was instituted before Justice
Wheeler, of the Eighteenth Ward, by Mr..
Dunn against Mr., Cummings, but the de-
PENDANT not being resident of the Eight
zenith Ward, under the act of 1868 Dunn
removed his case to Justice Brewer, of the
Tenth Ward, paying so cents costs of re-
mOval. The trial of the cause was had
before Justice Brewer, who, after patient
hearing of the facts, decided in favor of
the plaintiff, and gave judgment for 25
cents and the costs, which aggregated
$195. The defendant appealed from the
judgment Of Justice Brewer to the Balti-
more City Court, and gave bond in the
sum of so cents, Mr.. A. B. Hurlbut be-
coming his security, after duly qualifying
as to his sufficiency. The papers were
carefully transferred by the Justice to the
Baltimore City Court, and the trial will
take place at the May term. The probable
further costs will be between $15 and $40,
which the losing party will be compelled
to pay.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

CHARLES HEATH goes to the Iowa Peni-
Tertiary for three years and six months
for marrying four women. Rather mild
sentence.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

A PASSENGER On an unusually slow rail-
road, aroused from serene slumber by
the footing of whistle, exclaimed petu-
lantly: THE train has caught up with
those cattle again."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

AN Ottawa (Canada) business man, who
lives in one of row of houses on Daily
street, got slightly fuddled the other
night, and instead of going to his own
house walked confidently up to the door
of his neighbours and rang the bell boldly.
The inmates having retired, his summons
was not very speedily answered, and the
whiskyfied individual began to get out
rageously demonstrative. This soon
brought the owner Of the house to the
door, when the potvalliant and now high
ly irate individual, being confronted, at
his own threshold as he supposed, by an
entire stranger, seized the unfortunate
owner by the coat collar and landed him
sans cerenaOn5e in the street. He then lock
ed the door and proceeded up stairs, but
not finding things in their accustomed
places, he finally succeed in lighting a
match, when to his horror he discovered
that he was not in his own house. This
sobered him somewhat, and hastily re-
treating down stairs he made his exit, just
in time to escape thrashing from the
enraged proprietor who had effected an
entrance by the back door.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

GG ucl tiN
L. blessed me, and called me
L. do | give him a stone?
s., n" !. ~ woman can love,
b +. i, | am the dove,
epp;y, a an3 ~ / Ian am Ii his wife,
V A BJTTERfLY'
vho do you thing a, con
fa rs next month"; .
heaven ne q5. not your Aunt
five Unruly cherubs = re- (.
Spsetting her work-boA IN
/ replied, with an in n
the suggestion, that ia; a,
rs. This letter IS from
en ntit: relative! 0, Har-
kider; we haven't cen
FI n ', how much \. more
Issan nj lie will be
Pears aro; he was dread
Do YOU recollect his
with Mrs. Deans point
4, installing it for a nap,
.aIted his coffee instead
rking afterward, with a
pance. that the coffee had
rliar flavor that morn
Is of cenuis,' my love, as
Som" pursued my wife,
Interruption; think how
4 time hes here, swarm
#anI toads, and bugs with
NAMES, spitted on needles''
breath d little Kitty.
YOU were really fond of
I He's a dear old fellow
trc's the rub, Harvey
4 coming at the same time.
H. beautiful, fashionable
kcolIision with such a queer
.lIIam-thcy'll certainly
BIZ is 50 absurd with young
b. as if they were children,
hoticc. It's ridiculous, for
fr-y-cight himself"
b., | can only advise you
bms ready, and-trust to
h.far arrived our charming
Dr. winter of bellehood in
Dr. the roses still unfaded
b. her eyes as bright I
Ih~gc was arustiC freshness
/ 1t her, sayoring rather
b. fields than Of crowded
b unhealthy hours. She
i 4, Kate related her tribu-
i I'm lclighted-what a
/ must be. I'm going to
| inquest Of him."
|her head, laughing. Il
b it, FIoy; you might as
|,th an elephant"
! said F'loy.
/ ,eatimc, John appeared.
/ although not handsome
i and broad-shouldered,
f. dark cray eyes looking
I. orrr-banginr eyebrows
H. tAickly over his head,
f. deeply embrowned by
b in a southern land rather
- ana dfeaqI4liy alb
u :, ,I..- 7 slgn was JGhn Dur
ny story.
her sweetest, in white
sg,;..J J'n n, Ct ia tall jl. over
II,
a. is a dear little cousin
FLORENCE Bird"
.ir said Floy, as she
in tlmid admiration at
haullered genius.
B, sissy" saws John. sbak-
and very kindly, tbough
r. at her as he does 50.
too. John stands q crave ave
rc YOU were intro ~ ,gn III H. ;
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

SHOULD vice be allowed to transmit it
self to generation after generatlon;; On
the 1st day of May fifteen-year-old boy,
living at Greensburg, Pa, murdered boy
of nine wears, in order to obtain posses
sion of a pound of sugar. The circum-
stances of the murder were atrocious. The
body of the victim was found hidden I'M
der pile of leaves, with broken skull
and clothing covered with blood. In
curry showed that the boy assassin came
of depraved stock. His grandfather was
hung for murder, and his father cut his
own throat and died. In view OF these
facts, we ask, but do not propose to an
swer, the question which this paragrah
opens. If answer is made by any one IN
the affirmative, it might be well to pro
pound second question, as to whether
this is not case in which "euthanasia"
or ''happy dispatch" might be prescribed
for the whole family with happy results
Grdphic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29
4 HrSB4ND.

{ HCsBAfD.
:, aft, noiseless feet,
/; Win fo % him: spcechIess and
his heart all aglow,
Pa t5ss.snsp5 and wa'oh-f0r |
.,o mile on his face,
r. ss ana ii II. shining With tra @s in
b., lighted 'n''
.strr. rllE as truth
I know he is mine;
fsithf 1lIill,,ongh shade and through
..o-iee. with a kindness that
,,s than rubies and gold,
r. j., 9i mack in the years; = +oors.
r. u him. };Lll- can forget .-,v rats
= how pure in his heart, =,
d helpless, should n'' q -
4, blessed me, and called me
L. do / give him a stone?
az, a. woman can love,
Eb y i, am the dove,
|a PEW and joyous my life:
e 81. Pmc I'll / am his wife.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

THE salaries of postmasters are to be re-
adjusted on July l.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29

Our story grows too long. Three years
have passed since that eventful summer,
during which time great changes have
taken place Near the dear old mansion
which Kate and inhabit still, has risen
rustic cottage, overgrown with vines.
There lives John Durham and his pretty
wife, who, with her little daughter, Flor
ence, makes sunshine in his heart and
home. You see, dear reader, in spite of
Farmer Stokes prediction, John Durham
did succeed in capturing our Floy, the
prettiest little butterfly that ever fluttered
across a mOrtal's path.-Ouerl0nd XOnthlY.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-05-29
.-,,Ivas truth.

st4ii' .;,o.
Fsithf '4iIIriod ! hi made and through
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19
DETROIT AND NEW ORLEANS,

We publish useful communication
from Judge William NJ. Burwell, secretary
of our Chamber Of Commerce, read be-
fore the Board Of Trade of Detroit. It
tends to show the cities of the lakes and
Of Canada that their best route to the
tropics lies through Cur city. and tina. to
give it entire effect their representatives
in Congress should favor lines Of postal
service from New Orleans to Vera Cruz.
Havana. Panama (AspinwalD and Rio Je-
metro. From the head Of open water a.:
Cairo three branch railroads now diverge
to st. Louis, Chicago and Detroit. These
iron tributaries Of the Mississippi, never
frozen and never DRY. will concentrate the
tropical trade Of the lake and river cities
inboard over their own lines, and by the
port of New Orleans. These are outlets
for the farmers of the West, and lines by
which they can communicate directly
with the tropics. The REPUBLICAN asks
the attention Of the representatives of the
Northwest, Of the State Department, and
of our ministers at the capitals Of CONT
mental America to this longitudinal syc.
tenn of transportation now opening be-
tween the interior West of the United
States and all the port cities of the islands
and coasts Of Mexico and South America.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19
LOUISIANA DETAINED,

The foreign press seems to regard all
events in Louisiana rs solely important
in their effect upon the relative state of
parties. The E.. notes an accession of
immigrants into Texas from the North
west and also from Louisiana and ateri-
butes this abandonment of Illinois exclu-
sively to the alleged maladministraton of
public affairs here. 1t even advertises,
as an additional inducement to immigra-
ton that all the evils which have befallen
Louisiana have arisen from the domina-
ton OF the Republican party. 1t says:
''The Radical government has rendered
the country uninhabitable. 1t has rem
dered existence impossible" Here is an
induce ment to settlers. Other States, in
inducing new population, are accused Of
suppressing all the disadvantages of soil
and society. Here a journal is so soli-
citous to make case against the
political majority that it makes LOU
isiana uninhabitable, and thereby warns
strangers away. The fact tha. this
caution is printed in tongue unknown
to the great mass Of Immigrants from the
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19

north Of Europe and America diminlshes
the mischievous influences, but it does
not excuse either the ignorance or injus-
tice of the charge. Very probably this
| defamation will be translated by those
who have land to sell in the Northwest
and transmitted to Germany to deter any
stragglers who might possibly otherwise
come to Louisiana. 1t will certainly coun-
tersct the expected movement from Alsace
| and Lorraine, from which we were taught
some months since to expect SO much.
There has been series of acts in which
the political partisans Of the Bee have CO.
operated, and these acts are charged to
have produced the excessive debt and
taxation complained Of We will no:
enumerate the monopolies-from the
lease of the New canal in 1866 to the
grant Of the gaslight charter in lS7;-in
which these par:isans have participated,
and without the aid of these partisans
these exclusive privileges could not have
been granted nor executed. we will only
refer to the open adoption and combina-
ton made; with Governor Warmoth. the
alleged if not acknowledged chief OF
these measures during four years past. and
to the published and undisputed fact that
the Democratic members of the Legisia-
ture and the Democratic Administrators
of the city were as deeply committed to
the responsibility Of these Objectionable
acts as any others. In like manner we
may refer to tie quarrel over the ballot
box and before the Senate Committee
exhortation to 'agitate' which culmin-
ated at jackson square and in the sack of
the gun stores: the execution Of the writs
of amotion from Office in Grant parish
which caused the emigration Of more than
three hundred colored laborers to another
and we hope better world. Of all these
cooperative causes, none Of which could
have been effected without the aid
of the Bee and its political friends, that
journal says nothing. It charges all
upon its political antagonists. 1t may be
apprehended that our foreign friends pre-
fer to apply for the Intervention of France
upon the grounds recently indicated by
the Picayasne. These charges against the
Republican party will probably tend to
make France demand the annexation of
Louisiana. It may be enforced by send
ing an army Of occupation and enlisting
its own very numerous subjects here. In
such case the Bee man may expect COM
mand of a division at the very least.
There can be no possible use for the deta-
nation Of Louisiana except to make
cause Of French intervention. If that be
not the obiec: Of the Bee we can see no
other.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19
GATHERING OF DISTINGUISHED EXPO
TENTATES

The Naiia. Ners states that both the
Pope and Cardinal Antonelli have prevented
the ex. Queen Isabella of Spain from coming
to Rome. where she intended going in order
to obtain from His Holiness declaration
in favor OF her son Alfonso to the throne of
Spain.
The above paragraph. which we clip
from the Times. is erroneous. We have
direct intelligence that the ex-queen Of
Spain. and Ex-Governor Pinchback and
General L. J. Souer, of Louisiana, all
visited His Holiness the Pope on the
twentieth ultimO.
Messrs. Pinchback and Soue, had Just
reached Rome by way Of Turin. Florence
and Naples. They had inspected the
ruins of Pompeii, peeped down the awful
crater of Vesuvius, and admired the
grand cathedrals with which all Italian
cities are blessed, and were preparing for
a raid On the Vienna Exposition when
last head from by their friends here.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19

anything to do with the warrants, is that
of discourtesy in not having been consulted
in the matter before Auditor Clinton took
the action which he did. Auditor Clinton
this morning told our reporter that he un.
derstood this, and was perfectly willing to
make every reparation in his power. even
to signing card to be written by Dubu.
clet; that all he desired was to have the
matter arranged, and he would prefer 20
have it amicably done, if possible.
If the above insinuation were true, i:
would show that Mr.. Dubuclet puts his
own personal dignity above his duty to
the State. We can not for moment be-
ieve that Mr.. Dubuclet is governed by
any such shallow considerations. One
thing is certair-if be relies on any such
lame defense before the Superior Court,
he will fail in the most signal manner.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE STATE
TREASURER.

The Picaylne labors through column
and more of very heavy reasoning to
prove that the Treasurer must stop and
| examine the Auditors books when war
| rant is presented, and, if he finds them all
| right. must then examine the law
under which the warrant is issued to as
certain if that be constitutional. He may
then pay the warrant if there is any
money left by that time.
This is neither the law. the custom nor
common sense. And we apprehend that
any government disbursing officer in the
world who should attemp: to obstruct
business in such a senseless manner would
be sent out flying ss soon as the appoint
ing power could get a chance at him. 1t
was to relieve the Treasurer Of any such
delay anG trouble that the Office Of !au-
ditor was created. Although it was done
at frs: by au act Of the General Assembly.
the Auditor has been for years ranked as
a constitutional officer before the conven-
ton Of 1864 finally made hin, one. 1t is
simply the duty OF the Treasurer to pay
all warrants drawn on him by the Au-
ditor. unless he knows they have been
improperly issued. The presumption is
always in favor Of the validity Of war
rant, and the Treasurer incurs risk by
denying it. To justify him he must have
positive evidence such as would vitiate it.
He can not invent doubts for the purpose
of delay, or to give lean and hungry at
torney chance to air his eloquence and
show his ignorance Of law.
If the Treasurer were to pay warrant
issued in absolute error. OR even fraud.
no responsibility would attach to him IN
less it could be proved beyond a doubt
that he had knowledge of it. But if he
were to refuse TO pay one without valid
reason, he would be fined and be liable to
expulsion from Office. To men whose
minds are readily confused, this may ap-
pear little severe on the Treasurer. but
man Of good sense has 10 difficulty.
and, besides, we pay five thousand dollars
year, and the duties are SO simple that
they are next to nothing at all. And yet.
simple as they are. a man who should at
tempt to conduct the office in the manner
indicated by the Picaytae would be in
competent and perfect nuisance beside.
New Orleans Republican., 1873-07-19
DICTATIoN BY THE MINORITY.

4 miserable white man." who employs
the second letter in the alphabet to stand
for him in the columns Of the Picaynsae,
looks upon the object and intent of the
unifcation association to be to completely
subvert society. He bases this brillian.
pillar of thought upon speech or two OF
the colored folks at the Exposition Hall
meeting. Mr.. 3. reads Mr.. Lewis speech,
and finds the popular Colonel contending
for the abstract right Of men of his color
to appear in all public places. and enjoy
all the benefits and suffer all the
disabilities Of civilization from hearing
the gospel as dispensed by Father Ryan,
to drinking tangle foot whisky in first
class saloon. And as the negroes and
their political friends have the political
and agricultural power in their own
hands, there IS nothing to prevent then,
from having their own way, even if they
have to close a church or two. theatre
or a rum mill 20 do it.
The time has gone by when men Of Mr..
BIS stripe Of politics may stand up and
say what they will permit others to do.
1t is time for them to begin to reflect on
what they are going to do themselves. It
is time to inquire what they will be per-
mitted to do. Neither their advice nor
their vote is needed. The Republican
party is well supplied with counsellors'
and we have more votes than are generally
counted unless the commissioners Of cleo
ton are watched closely. Mr.. 3. speaks
of the colored people in one breath
as the dominant race and in the
next gravely discusses the proprioty
of admitting them to the ordinary
privileges Of citizenship. This is
sheer impertinence. How would he like
to hear the colored people discussing the
propriety Of permitting him to own prop
erty in this State, to appear in court, or
to enjoy any more privileges than they
enjoyed when they were not the dominant
race? The Republicans have right, de-
termination and force on their side. and
yet their impotent opponents plot together
to establish rules and regulations which
the colored people must observe as con-
dition Of their living in the State. As
unifcation means simply Republicanism
and nothing else, perhaps it is as we'll to
have as few such miserable white men,
as Mr.. 3. in it as possible. He is harm
less as an opponent, but might give Us
trouble as a partisan.