The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-11-26
SCRAPS

Tie child who cried for an hour
didn't lit.
e" A fast friend-tho telegraph
Bunker Hill Monument still stands
where It has ever stood. although the
'hilrhas been Joined to Boston.
''aGallinarium" is St. Louis for hen
house, Next we shall have Equlna
!rium and Bobinarium and Aslnarlum
"A Chicago lndy complains Of the
unremitting love of her absent hus'
band. Hev never sends herany mon
:ey. r..s
= A thief who stole farmers water
melons sent the seeds back in a letter
ireouesting him to plant them for next
year, :...,
The. eager anxiety with which girls
rush. to the seaside suggests the hrst
''stage of a rubber at whist. They cut
for partners.
A French writer has described q
young lady as a creature that ceases
TO kiss gentlemen ut twelve and oeg'ns
again at twenty.
Western women are grumbling ter.
ribly because the managers OF the
agricultural fairs don't give at least q
Years notice when they offer prizes
for the finest babies.
An Iowa newspaper proclaims itself
an "honest newspaper" and IN anoth-
'er paragraph says, "When a man pro-
fesses honesty nowadays, keep your
eye peeled for q thief"
- The rallying cry in Kansas, upon
which newspapers OF divers views
are unanimous is: 'Let no man be
elected to office who owes over five
years subscription to a local paper.
Some base calamniater says: The
INDIANS frst called the place on which
New York was built Manahachtani-
encks. the translation of it is "the
place where they all got drunk"
Respect for old age never had a
brighter illustration than in the case
of the young lady who always refuses
Ito 90 to the wash.tub when. ber moth
er,or granddaughter. spresent.
~Miss c." said a gentleman,
ono evening, "why are ladies so fond
OF officers p GLOW stupid!" replied
Miss c.; "Is it not natural and
proper that lady should like good
offer, sir?" + s
A gushing, but ungrammatical, edi-
tor saws: ave have received basket
of fine grapes from oar friend, for
which be will ,please accept our com:
,pfimohts, some Of which are nearly
san inch in circumference"
A Chinaman came down one: of the
main streets in Millerton, |Cal., on
telectiop day, III. a state Of inebriation
land Of joyful exaltation, and thus de-
iivered himsel: "Hoop Ia me all same
Mclean man. Hair cut short and
drunk like HI. Hoop 10"
A.eowardy fellow having kicked a
newsboy for pcsteripg him to buy an
Sevening newspaper. the lad waited
It'll another boy accested the "gentle-
mar" and then shouted in the hear
ing of all bystauders, 'It's no use to
try him, Jim, he can't read" -y
aThomas," said a father to his son,
-.tsdonitlet that girl make q fool OF
YOU Look sharp. Remember the
-+adage shat fovo is blind" 80, that
.ldage won't wash," said Tom; "talk
about love,being blind! Why, l see
ten times as much in that girl as you
do" - e.,
A,pious but uneducated judge closed
q Sentence with the following touch
,sng reproach: "Prisoner at the bar,
:fiature has endowed you with a good
education and respectable family con-
,ncctions, instead Of which you go
sround the country stealing ducks"
a peculiar way of discharging prin-
tiers exists in the dayton, O., offices.
Each compositor has q nafl to hang
his coat on, and when the foreman
concludes to dispense with the SER
svices Of one of the hands, he takes a
hammer and drives the nail in to the
head. ;''' : sA.-t.'
J. Sec what pluck and entcprso will
do. An indolent sort of chap in, q
'neighboring' county, who had the
reputation Of never having earned a
scent in his life; went into the poultry
business the other day and raised
fifty fine chickens during 'one night.
Where were more on the roost, but
somo got away. -" .r.
They have some very smart busi-
ness men In New Jersey. last week
a young man was struck by lightning
in a field near Trenton, and when the
ipeople began to flock to the spot to
iook at the victim, they found . man
standing by the corpse trying to sell
lightning rods to the crowd.
T. A man about fifty years of age, ac.
oompanied by his wife, who looked
'still Older, applied for tickets to Pitts
brrg. When told the price, he de-
INJURED; and, after Withdrawing for
"a consultation, he returned to the
window and asked, "Well, won't you
1tnock off o dollar if the old woman
will ride on the platform
M@A man at Trenton, who found SOW
eral thousand dollars over two years
ego, and has advertised it every day
since that.tinne, gets great credit for
:bis honesty:." Any man would have