The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1873-12-26
VARIETIES.

A bad egg is not choice egg, but is
hard to beat.
The real "Home Insurance Compa-
nay "A good wife.
WHAT fruit is the most visionary?
The apple of the eye.
How to overcome your sorrows-
Strike one of your own sighs.
Is THE thirst of horse satisfied
when his rider gives rein to him?
CANADA in the home of more than 20,-
900 people who were born in the United
States.
"MY wife," said critic, sis the
most even tempered person i'll the
world-she's always mad"
JOSH Billings says: ''There amt
ennything that will kompletely kure
lazyness, but second wife has been
known to hurry it some"
A VERMONT man went over to an
island to live as Robinson Crusoe did,
but his wife followed with a club, and
his solitary life lasted only three
/ hours.
"SHALL I cut this loin of mutton
saddlewise % said gentlemen. "No."
said one of his guests, "cut it bride
wise, for then L may have a chance to
get bit in my mouth.
81 SHOULD think these omnibus
wheels would be fahgued after running
all day." observed Sam. "Well, yes"
replied Seth, taking a squint at them,
"they do appear to be tired"
A PARTISAN musical dictionary defines
a shout to lee So an unpleasant noise
produced by overstraining the throat,
for which great singers are well paid,
and small children well punished"
"ISEvER shot bird in my hfe," said
a friend to an Irishman, who replied,
Il never shot anything in the shape of
bird but a squirrel, which I killed
with stone, when 1t fell into she river
and got drowned"
A LAWYER, in replying to his antaso-
MIST in court, said he had ''keen rapier
with which to pierce all fools and
knayes," whereupon his opponent
"movcd the court" that the rapier be
taken from him lest lie should commit
suicide.
SINKING or TAE VILE DU H1 TRE.
IFru-l the London TelegraPh's Account of the Dis
aster.l
That descent into the depths of the
sea with the sinking ship was an awful
experience, and one that fell to the lot
of m ore than three-fourths OF those who
were saved. Il was standing, said an
American gentleman, "by the side of
the vessel, certain that she was rapidly
going down, and that there was no hope
of being saved. would not have given
ten cents for my chance OF life. If any
body had been ON the point of discharg-
ing a revolver to blow ones brains out,
could not have felt more certain OF
death. We went down with the ship. 1
do not believe anybody, however well he
might have been able to swim, could
have helped doing that. She made an
awful vortex in the water. 1t seemed to
carry all of us along with her. Nothing
could have saved you except holding
firmly by some piece of wreck or life
! belt and most of those on board, l am
sure, never even came ON deck. can
not say whether the ship keeled over or
not when below the water, but she
seemed to me to sink straight
One lady is reported to have been res
cued with bag of gold, said to have
contained f2O0, round her neck. The
frst-class passengers included Capt.
Hunter, of the American navy, and his
three daughters. OF the young ladies
two were rescued the other and the
father were drowned. AS they stood on
the deck, the father taking an affection
ate farewell of his daughters, he ex-
pressed his belief that his daughter May
would be saved. 81 know God will save
you," he said; 'tthere is something
for you to do; you must go on again.
Miss May Hunter and her sister Annie
were two of the twenty seven passengers
who landed at Cardiff.
A WASHINGTON letter writer says CT
Alexander H. Stephens Wonderful
man! 1t may be said that he once had
body, but it has been pared down
until it is transparent You feel that
God is very good to give you almost q
chance tn see a naked soui -