The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-10-23
Dapbury Deprayities.
The worm that dyeth-Conchinet

The worm that dyeth-Conchineal.
The flavor of the popular chestnut
worm this season is said by an epicure
to be a cross between a custard pie and
q croton bug.
A Danbury man woke in the middle
OF the night to comment upon the ex-
traordiusry fact that the heaviest end
OF a match is its light end.
1t is pleasant to remember that not
an hour passes in the increasing march
Of time, but that there is halisdressed
man somewhere on the earth calling
for shirt.
The panic has 30 far abated as to
permit an Essex street man to return
to ten cent cigars, aud he hopes, in
another month, if the brightness con-
tinues to increase, to get his boys boots
half soled.
An absent minded clergyman in this
vicinity recently left his church without
notifying the congregation that the
meeting was dismissed, and they sat in
expectation seme'fifteen minutes, when
they departed OF their own accord.
A newly married couple who were to
take the train at Brewster, for Albany,
were much disappointed to learn there
was not a palace car" on the train,
but hoped to compromise on state
room. And didn't get that Welded
life is not without its thorus.
A Brooklyn man lost both of his
hands in machinery, and takes comfort
in the reflection that the buckwhest
season had but just commenced. This
fortitude reminds US oil a Dsnbury
farmer who recently lost both OF his
hands by cholera morbus, aud smother
ing his grief hired two others from a
travelling circus, and saved his crops.
A new Fairfield citizen was awaken
ed the other night by disturbance
among his hens, aud got up to punish
the thieves. His wife got up, too. as q
matter OF course, and Immediately fell
the whole length OF fight Of stairs,
vhich is also not 10 be wondered at.
An examination revealed the coop in.
act. the hens IN erely waking to turn
over, or having been troubled with
.rrsms CT en- unpleasant nature. AS
ne nearest profsne man lived two
miles away, the feelings Of the hen
owner can better be immagined than
described.
Even the broadest intellect aud the
most experienced management occa-
siouslly makes a failure. There was
an Italian st the air selling red bal
looms. Whenever he took up posi-
ton it Was known by the cluster OF red
balls swinging above his head, 1t was
while making change for customer
that he put the string which held his
wares in hi, mouth. and it WAS while
the string was thus secured that he
undertook to make an observation on
the general appearance Of the weather,
and an ascension i'm ediately followed
At 430 r. ". lie took the train for
Italy.
The season approaches when the BOY
Of the period turns his mind to medi-
tation. AS the hour OF SP. strikes,
be softly withdraws from the table
where he has been engaged in digging
the putty from the nail head, and uu-
ostentstiousIy deposits himself back Of
the stove to think. We are particular
to emphasize this word, because there
is an impression on the part OF his
parents, and bis eldest sister who has
the honor OF escortinS him to bed
nights, that he lie going to sleep. They
20 so far as to openly express this be-
lief, but he stoutly denies it, and inn
mediately proceeds to demonstrate the
gross injustice OF the insinuation by
humming some familiar piece Pretty
soon the humming ceases there is q
significant movement at the table, and
then it is resumed again, and continues
for hve minutes, when it gradually dies
out, and all 10 silent back OF the stove.
When the boy comes to again he is be-
ing lifted to his feet by his waistbsnd,
and cuffed on the head to indicate that
it is alter ten o'clock. He makes 8
desperate attempt TO find where be left
of on the tune, but ANONYMOUSLY fails,
and five minutes later is stumbling up
stairs, with an interested and active
sister ia his rear, sRd firmly but family
msintainipg that he was not asleep,
but only thinking