davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
Fresh Danberries.
From tho Danbury News. !


Putting up a stove-pipe is known in
Danbury as attending a Black Crook
matinee.
We can always tell when an ex-
change is stuck on job of printing by
the wrappers it uses.
"A Danbury jeweler is confident the
day will come when buttons will
be sold by the pound.
"A North Main street man kindly
volunteered to hold a fractions cow by
the tail while it was being MIXED,
Saturday evening. He hung on well
going up, but inadvertently let go
coming down, and hurt himself.
An editor in the eastern part of the
State feels rather indignant over the
failure of Jay Cooke. He says she
would go to New York and brand him
the scoundrel he is, if he could get a
pass. The railroads are considering
the matter.
"A tableau on Essex street of late
moonlight night-Young daughter in
front room singing Father, dear father,
come home" Old man in back yard
knife, and swearing about the loss of
his own.
You can tell when printing office
has vacated building by the number
OF blood spots, pieces of skin and finger
nails on the floor And another sure
indication OF a move is the number of
crippled individuals who call at the new
Office in the following week and ask,
care you settled yet ?"
One of those miserable boys whose
sole object in this life appears to be the
making of extraordinary faces mt honest
and industrious store clerks, mistook
roll of oil cloth for roll of carpet, hang
ing in front of Main street establish
ment, Saturday evening, and making a
sickening grimace at the clerk, who
stood in the door, doubled his fists, and
struck the inoffensive roll a tremendous
blow. Then he put the fist under the
other arm, and doubling up his body,
ambled swiftly away, while the clerk re-
tired to the store to dry the tears of q
new-found JOY.
One of the most extraordinary
things in this world is the conduct of
hen on the approach of team. If she
is standing in the way at the time she
remains there, and you instinctlvely
stop your horse, only to discover that
she is safely out of the way. And if she
is on one side of the road, she immedi-
ately dashes into the center, and brings
you up again, while the cold sweat forms
on your back at the thought of the
damages. And it is little singular
that while you are confident you never
saw hen run over, nor ever heard of
such thing, yet no number of trials
can keep back the Precipitation from
your back, or prevent you from drawing
up your horse to the imminent danger
OF his hind legs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
A Domestic Scene.

Once in Il while there is day when a
man is out of work, and he stays at
me. After breakfast is eaten and
dishes are removed he pulls out
the family drawer snd dumps the con-
tents on the table, to look for paper
of suddenly-acquired Importance. Hav-
ing got chair which has lost q leg, and
for that reason has been set aside where
nobody will be apt to get into trouble
with it, he drops into it, and it immedi-
ately comes apart and deposits him
under the table. He jumps to his feet
at once, aud kicks the chair into the
hallway, to the imminent danger of his
wife, and the woman who lives in the
other part of the house, both of whom,
being under the impression that one of
the children had fallen from the mantel-
piece and broken its back, have started
to the rescue. He Immediately asks his
wife what kind of an idiot she is to leave
a broken chair where any one can sit
down on it and jeopardize life and limb,
and sarcastically inquiries if she wants
to kill him, or merely cripple him for
life, and scouts with scorn indescribable
the intimation that the chair was placed
where no sane party would ever think of
looking for one. After that he gets a
new chair, which he is confident will
throw him and hurt him, and says SO,
and pores over the paper again. Pretty
soon he is attended by one of the chill
dren, who is making herculean efforts
to scale one of the table legs, with Il
view to getting on top to see what is
going on. AS the little round head, with
the swelling cheeks, and bullying eyes,
and tumbled hair, and very dirty mouth,
appears above the top, and beams up at
HIM, he nervously cries, "Hey, you,
now, come out of that and start after
your mother; she wants you" But the
child knows that its mother doesn't
want him, and so does he, and being at
a loss TO explain why, he falls to work
at the papers again. In p little while,
one very chubby arm is thrown on top
of the table, and the eyes have reached
the level, and are taking in the wonders
of the display. There is another move
up, then sudden weakness in the legs
that are tightly Rugged to the tables
legs, then desperate but hopeless
clutch at the papers for safety, and the
little hand disappears with lightning
velocity, and then an ominous bump, and
then scream, and the miserable man
is on his feet again, holding the suffer
ing child wrong side up and screaming
for help. The moment it is in its
mothers arms, and the camphor is in
reach, the man, who stays home because
he has nothing to DO, puts on his coat
and hat, and beats hasty retreat, leav-
ing the wife to calm the distracted
breast of the child, and to set the table
to rights. When he has another day to
himself, he dumps out the drawer again,
and goes througha similar performance.
-Dan6ury NeaOs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24

welfare and happiness at heart if he
can be happy i ought to be contented."
"Ihen you release linn ?"
Certainly"
"And lose a fortune-you are noble
woman"
"What is money to me? l am alone
and unloved L shall try to be happy in
the consciousness of having sacrificed
myself for your son."
He will appreciate your sacrifice, I"
and Mr.. Arson wiped tear from each
of his eyes.
Here Mrs. Morrow wept afresh, and
her head sank back upon the widower's
shoulder. Her form shook convulsively,
and he put his arm around her waist to
support her.
My dear madam, I cannot find it in
my heart to take Robert from you"
Robert" she sobbed, 81 shall
never see him again. / have nothing
left to desire except your respect and
esteem. Without those L should in
deed be unhappy"
Mr.. Arson drew her closer to him
so close that she lay trembling on his
breast, and he pressed kiss on her
forehead
You have both, and my deepest adj
miration."
"Then / am content. Let Robert
marry the girl of his choice. 1 only
claim the privilege of retaining an in
terest i'll his welfare, and n corner in
your esteem"
Mr.. Arson promised as he babe the
widow adieu at the door to call again
soon. And he kept his promise so well
that the next evening found him there
again.
Victory murmured the widow, as
she heard him enter the hall she will
propose to me before he leaves tonight
Robert is a very pretty fellow, but he is
inconstant. The father is handsome,
infatuated with me already, and the
money is all his. prefer the father. -
She proved reliable in her prediction.
Before her caller had kissed her good
night he had offered her his hand,
heart and fortune, and she had accepted
all three
The result was double wedding, and
the subsequent happiness of all con-
cerned. Mr.. Arson was devoted hus-
band, and Mrs. Morrow made him a
faithful and affectionate wife; while
both paternally watched over the
younger couple. Although so cleverly
fooled by the widow, Mr.. Arson never
suspected it, and never had cause for
regret.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
A Rare Faculty.

An Englishman residing in one of the
South Sea Islands possesses the faculty
of discerning the approach of a vessel
n day or two before it becomes visible,
and even of describing its shape, and
whether it is a brig, schooner or q
bark. He states that it is possible to
discover ships which, by reason of the
shape of the earth, are not perceptible
by the direct action of sight, by means
of the vapors which collect on the hori-
zon at certain height above any solid
object. The shape of the little cloud
thus formed enables him to determine
that of the vessel beneath the horizon.
He adds that such observations can only
be relied upon in clear weather, and
when made from high ground.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
Interesting Figures.

The total area of the United States,
as demonstrated by the census of 1870,
is 3,604,SS4 square miles, of which
1884, 467 square miles are contained in
the thirty-seven States of the Union,
and 1,619,417 square miles in the Ter
ritories. In the States in 1870 the
density of population was 1921 persons
to the square mile i'll 1860 it was Is. 10.
In the Territories in 1870 the popula-
ton averaged one person to four square
miles. The census demonstrated that
Philadelphia had about as many dwell
ing houses as New York and Brooklyn
combined, although those cities have
nearly twice the population of Phila-
delphia. In New York there are fifteen
persons to dwelling, in Brooklyn nine,
and in Philadelphia six.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24

by PELIG ARKwRIoHr.

This here cracking stones is healthy, If it's exercise
you seek;
And nIush is wholesome diet, if your appetite is
weak
And these clothes are rather tasty if it's stripes
you like 10 see
And ii conversation bores you, then you're suited to
at; go
And the very close attention that the men with guns
display
Il really quite affecting-so SOLICITORS are they;
Yet, with all these great Advantage that plainly do
might, perhaps, be satisfied to stroll away from
here.
was fond Of my profession, and took an honest
pride
In the ncainess and dispatch with which my little
game Piled;
My paternal predecessor was very gifted file,
And he trained me as gonnoff of the most admired
style.
can say with satisfaction, that I always labored
hard,
And by steady business habits l secured fair re-
ward
And it's quite consolation that Lie has got the
tin
To raise the kids in comfort whilst their dad is
covered in.
My profession has its set-backs-bein' COPIED to
rights il one,
For, though cracking stone IL healthy IL is not pre-
So when Lizzie's first incumbrance in the baby way
was born,
AS the little thing was sleeping on her bosom in the
We agreed to give it chances-and as many more as
come
To embrace another line Of life, a trife different
from,
And without the special drawbacks which has over
took us now,
In the line that we was raised inland clinched II
with vow.
Now there's three that calls her mother-I aint seen
em for year
And ones u blue-eyed baby-damn that cussed slob-
BERN tear,
shouldn't wonder it, when he goes to bed to-
night,
He should prattle of his papa-I should like to see
the sight,
And hear the little fellow say his little childish
For his mothers bound to teach him all the lingo, to
hair
That belongs to honest people, and give 'em all
show
To grow up rather different from what wo was, you
know.
Very singular like is women-that 'un used to be as
As any mol that ever skipped cavortin' down
Broadway,
Until she took a shine to me- aud then she settled
down
Into the extra-clinein' sort that does affection
brewn.
And when at last the kinchins come, then she and
agreed
That l should rake the blunt alone, whilst she i'm
proved the breed:
And it's perfectly astonishing the way she plays her
hand,
For there amt better mother in the length of all
the land
Well half stretch is all that's left OF my engage
ment here
And 1 think III take another tack soon as get
clear,
And try the dodge of honesty and dealing on the
square
Cash is always quite respectable and money1l start
fair:
For it's poppycock to grumble that clever man Il
fail
in Jail.
SO III drop the good old business that society for
bids,
For the sake of that ere woman and the blessed lit
tie kids. -Grdphic.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
The Future Of the English Language,

In the last quarterly Journal OF
Science (English) there is an elaborate
and able article on this subject, by w.
f. A. Axon, NJ. r. 5. L., f. S. S. After
an exposition of the great advantages
to the world of universal language
which must be apparent to all who have
bestowed any thought upon the subject,
he proceeds to enumerate the present
and prospective claims of the various
European languages to numerical APP
proach to universally. He says, "The
Oriental languages are not aggressive
nor numerically strong enough to be
factors in the problem. The materials
for rigidly accurate census of Ian
guages do not exist, but an approx
mately accurate solution can be formed. :"
He then proceeds to give the following
figures; Portuguese is spoken in Portu-
gal by 3,9S0,000 and in Brazil by
100000 600, giving total of 1880, 900.
Italian is spoken in Italy by 26, 796, 253.
in France by 1885, and in Switzer-
land by 1876, 900, giving total of d.
523, 23S. French is spoken in France
by 80, 225, 900, in Belgium by 1925, 600,
in Switzerland by 63S, 900, and in French
colonies by 100000, giving a total of
40, 1S8, 600. There are twenty-four Ian
guages spoken in Russia, but the pre-
vailing one is the Russ, and the number
OF those who speak it is reckoned at
81, 100000. German is spoken in the
German empire by Al, 05S,OOO in Aus
tria by 9, 10000 in Belgium by 2, 747,-
600, in Russia by 9S5, 900, in Finland by
1,000 and in Switzerland by l., 1873, 600
giving a total of 55, $4,000
English is spoken by 10000, 900 in
the United States, by 81, 900, OCO British
subjects in Europe, by 5000, 600 in
America, by 1900, 900 in Australia, and
by at least 900, 900 more scattered over
the various dependencies in Asia and
Africa, giving grand total of 70, 05O, 900.
English is already by far the most
widely spoken language of civilization.
and M. de Candolle has estimated from
various data the rate of increase of the
different nationalities, which will give
the English speaking nations a far
greater predominance century hence.
Mr.. Axon uses his figures. He saws:
In England the population doubles
itself in every 56 years; in the New
World, the Anglo Saxons in every 25
years. The Dutch double in 1O6 years:
the Turks in 555 years; the Italians in
80 years; the Swedes in 90 years: the
Russians in 100 years; the. Spanish in
III years; their South American de-
scendants in pa years. The North Ger
man people double in from 80 to 60
years, and the South Germans in 1877
years, say 100 years as mean for the
entire race. The French populations
take about 40 years in which to
double"
lie estimates on this basis that in the
year 1000, the most important languages
Will be spoken by the number of per-
sons as follows: Italian by $3.50, 600;
French by 72,571 900; Russian by $780,
4'9,Soo; German by 157, 4S0, 900; Spanish
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
Pith and Point.

AN early spring-Jumping out of bed
ut five o'clock in the morning.
MuITAY INTELLIGENcE-An army does
not always fly when it extends its wings.
AN Alton Qll.) woman recently threw
a brick at dog and hit her husband,
who stood fifty feet behind her.
We once knew boy who said that he
liked "good rainy day-too rainy to go
TO school, and just rainy enough to go
fishing"
THEY tar the lamp-posts and ratings
in Montgomery, Ala, i'll order to get rid
of the loafers, believing that tarry
loafer will tarry no more.
A NOTICE in the cars on a railroad in
Pennsylvania informs the public that
"no gentleman will occupy more than
one seat at time, unless he be twins.
A CERTAIN editor, in speaking of the
cup of misery has been for ages over
flowing, and seems to be not get fuU."
A Texas paper says that the endeav-
ors Of Democratic politicians to induce
colored men to vote for them, reminded
it of the efforts of a red-headed wood
pecker to extract worms from a copper
lightning rod.
AN unfortunate in indianapolis who
lost several toes by car wheel was con-
soled by an Irishman near by with,
"Whist, there, you're making more
noise than mony man I've seen with
his head off.
DID you hit him plump in the GEN.
ter?" asked dying Omaha man of his
son who had just come in from des-
perate street fight. EYES," was the
reply. "Then die happy" and calm
grin of pleasure froze upon his face.
"WLL you have some strawberries ?"
asked lady of her guest Yes,
madam, yes; 1 eat strawberries with
enthusiasm. Do tell? Well, we
haven't but cream and sugar for EN-
this evening"" said the matter-of-fact
hostess.
A YOUTH of Salisbury, four years old,
and his young sister, saw a rat hasten
into hole in the barn floor. Said he,
Sis, the Bible says, Watch and pray
You pray while L watch the hole, and
III spat him across the snoot when The
comes out.
FATHER, did you have another wife
beside mother ?" "No, by boy what
possessed you to ask such question p
Because saw. in the old family Bible
where you married A7lno Domini, 1864
and that isn't mother, for her name is
Sally Smith.
Mt. STERLING (Ky.) Sentinel: eve
estimate that by the collapse of the
Graphic balloon enterprise we are Just
five thousand dollars out of pocket.
We had intended to drug the young
man who, day and night for the last six
months, has been singing and whistling
Mollie Darling under our window, and
ship him off III that balloon. Now, well
have to pay somebody five hundred dol
lars to kill him."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
General Notes.


"TExAs" is Spanish and means a
plain.
A FRESHMAN measuring six feet seven
inches has made hazing unpopular at
Yale.
FIFTY new weekly newspapers have
been started in Nebraska within the past
year.
IT is said that nine-tenths of the min
listers IN the country are not as well paid
as baseball professionals.
A MANSFIELD (O.) man reached
through the bars and pulled lion S tail,
but he won't do it with that hand again.
THERE are only two living animals
the man and the dog-which can stand
an instantaneous change from Arctic
cold to tropical heat without suffering
deterioration or losing health.
FIFTY years ago the following adver-
tisement appeared in Cincinnati paper
Passengers wanted-A wagon will start
for New York city in about two weeks
Five passengers will be accommodated
at S25 each.
THR ladies of two of the largest con-
gregations in Columbia, Ga, have re-
solved to buy no more dresses this fall
on account of the hard times. If they
must purchase they will only buy goods
of home manufacture.
IT is stated that fifteen out of every
forty-one who have died in Connecticut
during the past five years were drunk
ards. Rather land of unsteady than
of steady habits, one might Judge, I'M
less 4" steady drinks" be referred to.
In view of the present iron scarcity in
England some of the papers are COM
planning of the absurdity of wasting it,
as is done in tea. 1t is stated that q
very large percentage of iron and steel
filings is mixed with various grades OF
teas, especially in those coming from
Canton.
SOME idea Of the rate at which the for
rests of the Northwest are falling be-
meath the axe of the lumberman may be
gathered from the following: The total
amount of lumber run out of Cass river,
Michigan, this season, is about 50, 000,-
600, feet out of the Au Ores 60, 900, 600,
out of the Rifle booms 60,000,00 and
out of the Saginaw river $4,000, 900.
A SUDDEN flood, which resembled a
dark wall of water, came pouring down
the Colorado river at Austin, Tex, on
Oct. 4, sweeping everything before it.
The rise was so sudden and unexpected
that number of negroes with theil
teams were overtaken in the ford and
| five or six drowned, with most of the
animals. The wall of water was several
feet high.
The Mobile Register says eff, as
predicted by competent judges, the cot
ton crop of the South should reach foul
million bales and sell at even Is cents
putting the bale down at $50 pounds, OF
or $3.50 bale-the proceeds would
not be less than two hundred and ninety
million dollars, or far more than the
united capital of all the nation banks
Who's afraid? 2"
AT the close of 1873, there will bt
about 10000 miles of railroad in the
United States. The ties for this vast
extent of road will have to be renewed
about every eight years, so that at least
8, $50 miles will have TO be tied each veal
with p 900, coo ties. With our present
destruction of forests and our neglect
of forest culture, where are the ties tC
come from twenty years hence ?
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
Weight of Dried Fruit Compared with
Green.

The California Horticulturist quotes
from the Bulletin the following as the
result of dried fruit by the Alden pro-
cess
Apples-100 pounds green fruit make
II dry.
Pears-100 pounds green fruit make
II dry.
Peaches-100pounds green fruit make
II dry.
Acknowledgements green fruit make
IA dry.
Plums-100 pounds green fruit make
IA dry.
Cherries pitted)-10O pounds green
fruit make 10 dry.
Grapes-100 pounds green fruit make
20 dry.
Gooseberries-100 pounds green fruit
make 20 dry.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24
Sensible Points.

1t is q mistake to suppose that they
who hearken attentively to our language
believe every word we say.
1t is better to retrace a wrong step,
than to pursue wrong course.
They who talk much should beware of
those who listen attentively.
Good intentions are no justification
for doing what we know to be wrong.
Few, if any, repent of their silence
many repent of their talk.
They who like to hear themselves
talking, live in constant danger of hay
ing their wish gratifed.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-10-24

SOME sewing machines do not sew
well in starched goods. To remedy this
defect wet the spool in coal oil, and it
sews without difficulty.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-06-05

The Split oRAN.-A FABLE.-One morn
ing as farmer was feeding his horses, he no.
ticed that in their haste to get their fill of the
fresh bran, they split much oft upon the
ground.
$50 much lost" he murmered to himself.
But no, the fowls approached and soon
made pretty clean work of it. After them,
several pigeons alighted near the feeding
trough and found sufficient to occupy them
several minutes. Then the sparrows took
their turn. s4a.. "
Nov" thought the farmer, "surely 1t
must all be gone" t...
But upon looking closer, he observed a
large number of thrifty little ants tuggInp
away at the fragments which had escaped
the sparrow VS.. And the farmer thought to
himself:
luis teaches me to waste nothing, not
even the smallest thing. "-HeaYth and Home.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-06-05
A PERFECT WATER PROOF.

A writer in an En- dish paper says: By
the way,speaking of water-proofs. [ think
| can give travellers a valuable hint or
two. For many years have worn India
rubber water proofs, but will buy no more,
for have Hearne1 that good Scottish
tweed can be made entirely impervious
to rain, and, moreover | have learned
how 70 make it so, and for the
benefit of readers will give the re-
cipe: La bucket OF soft wafer put a
pound of sugar of lead and half pound
of podered alum; stir this at intervals
until it becomes clear, then pour 1t off
INTO another bucket, aud put the garment
therein, and let it be ia for tweuty-four
hours, then hang it up to dry without
wringing it. Two Of my party-a lady
and gentleman--h4ve worn garm ents
thus treated in the widest storm of wind
and rain without getting wet. The rain
hangs upon the cloth in glooules. La
short they are really water proof. The
gentleman, fortnight ago, walked niue
miles in storm of rain and wind, such
Won rarely see in the South, and when he
slIpped off his overcOat his underclothes
were as dry as when he put them on.
This is. I think, secret worth knowing;
cloth. if it can be made to keep out the
wet, is in every way better than what we
k:ow as water proofs.