The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1873-11-20
More Complete Weather Reports.

There is q certain stiffness and for-
mality about old probabilities reports
which common people would like to see
changed for something more frank and
open hearted. The VIII lie thing could
be- made more cheerful reading and
more interesting TO the young if some
newspaper man had the weather 10 take
care of. For instance, where the report
now reads, "for the northwest rising
barometer, with cold northerly winds"
a right minded Journalist would say
Folks in Wisconsin and Minnesota
will get:up and git tomorrow it will
be cold enough to freeze the hair on a
hitchinl post. Just a year ago to-mor-
row the Dublin Boy and the San
Francisco Babe had a set-to near New
Orleans, and Dublin won it is also
the second anniversary of the Water
town bank robbery, where the
thieves carried off 5000, 900 and were
allowed to keep $4,000 for their hon
esty in restoring the balance. Honesty
is is the best policy look out for cold
winds. An honest mans the noblest
work of God, and a snow storm is pro-
bable."
The present weather-man says "For
Saturday in the Gulf states south and
east winds, rising temperature, threat
ening weather and occasional rains"
Now that should read Don't count
on going to circuses and picnics Satur-
day the umbrella market will be firm
and buoyant, and the mud knee deep,
Better stay at home and sew carpet-rags
and get the buttons on your husbands
Sunday shirt. Occasional rains may be
expected tomorrow, and the New York
detectives will probably catch another
Nathan murderer"
Where the weather man says "For
| the south Atlantic states increasing
~southeasterly winds, with cloudy wealth
err, clearing away by Saturday night"
it should read Splendid weather
for going after persimmons down south
don't draw your shotgun toward you
by the muzzle weather a little cloudy,
but dads rich, and so who cares good
day for setting out grave-stones. Use
Fargo's liver pills for sick headache ;
no respectable family should be with
| out them. A year ago or t~hereabout
senator Pomeroy gave senator York
81, 900, and never jump on to the front
l platform of a street car. Weather will
clear up by Saturday night, and it will
be a good night for going to the lodge.
If your wife doesn't believe you went
there tell her to smell of your breath.
Then where Probabilities says /: "FoI
the middle and eastern states southwest
winds, with partly cloudy weather." il
ought to read "Not a good day foi
taking photographs east of Michigan
Some clouds loafng around, and goot
weather for stealing overcoats. About
the time to get boots for your boys
leave the pegs in and the boys will pre-.
fer to go barefoot for a while yet. Moth,
ing like economy, and don't wear white
pants when you go huckleberrying.
Good day for New England sewing wo'
men to make shirts at fifty cents a do.
zen. Southwest winds to be expected
don't fly your kites too high. About
this time last year a New York country
treasurer acknowledged himself a de-
faulter to the amouat of $50, DOC, but
the tears of his aged father effected O
compromise for S28, 900, and the treas
urer commenced building a fine house.
Don't lend money to strangers, and dc
unto others M you get a chance. May
rain tomorrow night, and spelling
schools and candy pulls are only q
month distant. Be kind to your sister,
and look out for n sharp frost"