St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-05-30
Humorous.
Railroad Mishaps,

Railroad Mishaps.
Hri bach was all saw of her.
To see her face tried i'll vain
unil her fellow passenger
cot mp and left the train
changed my seat and lacked again
80 sweet lace | never saw.
An ry" with depths of soul within
\ fac" without taw.
Bui as .azrd saw q tear
Roll down her "pal-tinted cheek
And casting oil all thoughts of fear
courage found /" speak
Why are y"u wr'pinc faircst maid
Say. why should much beautv cry
/ Il" not weep. she truly said
/ y" got Il cndeI my eye
\ MHttoom. H.. father kicked a mau
visitor ont of the h"u>c the other day.
n"cau-' the latter remarked tn the old
mans daughter that winter seemed to
he lingering i'll the lap of spring The
parent Thought it MAS some Woodlull
and C!atiin doctrine.
y Young fortune hunter surprised his
friends 10y announcing that he WAS go
ing into agriculture. and commence
his hushdndrN 10y removing weeds
some rich and lovely widows weeds.
y Well-tn-do old gentleman ut Nash
vile. Tenn. has brought the science OF
economy TO 81 fine Il point that he stops
his clock when the sun shines. to save
veal and tear, and determines the time
ut day from outside observations.
An Athol. Mass. man had IL severe
lit of Illness. during which he expert
Il Il. Il,
valc>cncc the minister called and pray
ed. followed 10y the sick man. who then
said to the clergyman Il am not much
used to praying, and don't know as
that prayer was exactly grammatical"
In Washington. the other day. Il
female member of Il colored theatrical
troupe. Went into Il dry goods store,
and called tor some flesh colored hose.
The clerk placed btfoIe her II box of
black stockings. and that impudeut
Young man has never been able to tell
/ whether he WAS blown mp hy nitro
. glNccrinC or WAS struck 10y shot from
"a seventy two poundcr.
Tine Waterbury american SAYS IL pa
rent in that city thinks lie will have his
new born daughter chl-iStencd Glycerine.
He SAYS il will hc easy to prefix Nitro
to it when She grows up. if she takes
dtlrI htI mother. who is always blow
Ing up ever, body.
The pale. sad looking Young men
Whom one occasionally meets in the
street. are not cOnsumptivr. are not
mom nng the loss of Il friend. and are
not divinity students. They are break
iug in tight boots.
\ citizen of tica. who felt called on
I" demonstrate with Il female meighbor
ior htI severity i'll ChaSti>ing her child,
III" other day. felt called on to close
the iutcrNic and leave the house in
about two minutes. 1t WAS observed
that a mop. or dust brush. two foot
stools. Il pot of vcrhcnas. Il jan of pickles
and the family dog followed CLOSELY
after him.
Somebody writes to the san Francis
80 Chronicle I" ask whom Cain married.
The ThrOHicic >tclrly reptile, I'VE are
sorry tn hc obliged To refuse to answer
this question. Ipon ANY subject of
public natiuc. we never refuse To throw
the dc>ircd light. But this is altogether
Il different thing. 1t is Il family matter
with which We do not dane to mcddle.
Cain died some time before many of IT'S
were born. and such idle curiosity re-
guding the family affairs of Il deceased
person. We regard as rcprhcn>iblc. and
calculated To violate the sanctitir> N
domestic. life. For these reasons. and
hrcau>c We do not wish to iniure the
feelings of the relative of the deceased,
We decline To answer the question:
An old Boston phN >iciam was story
telling the other evening. al the school
board. while patiently waiting for Il
puorIm. and told how he once visited
female patient in Pleasant street. and
after IL careful examination. was unable
To decide what allied her. Stepping
into an adjoining room he made bold to
ask IN old lady if >h" knew what aileI
her nrighhor. Giving her nose Il back
handed sweep with her fIock sleeve.
she exclaimed. "Well. doctor. can't
Iactly hesitate. but think the first in
>tigation on it WIS that She >praimt her
inmaris eXclting herself too much in
lifting Il tub.
Twenty Years ago the son of
widowed mother WAS an umeducated.
and half cared foI Youth. He went into
Il store a. IN crramd boy. saved up his
mnmN. worked hard every day. limited
himself to but few amlISemcntS. princi-
pail, fishing and >cNcl-up. which he
ndulgrd on sunday. 50 not to iniIre
his employer. and is now worth S36U.-
0On. His mother enjoys a luxurious
nome. with every want attended to- and
the young man is now in Europe wait
nw for the affair To blow over DdH-
b0y Nc~$.
Rev. Henry ID. Moore. pastor of the
church i'll Cincinnati. tul lmclly of Yer
mont. ha, been compelled to resign his
charge f"r the simple reason that he
wouldn't resign his membership in the
Masonic o'..',. >hmc of his elders