davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08
A MAINE JUDGE PROVES EQUAL TO
THE OCCASION.

At one of tho judicial tribunals. in
this county, not long since casts of
some Importance was being heard, but
it had been protractcd beyond I'LL rca-
son, and the judge sat with eyes closed,
evidently comfortably wrapped in
slunber. The lawyer who was "a.
the case was consid::.- 1000. 10000.
the .:rcumstafl,s vrpool
IL very importaS;'ii.;;;,;,. le'4oo'ooo.oo.
ment, raised his w.. 1000. ooooo
and said, 81 desire to
ton, may It'll, ,;:::;::. =; IT,. so2, S72.8
important po. ht .'.... this case" A
heavy breathing, OF sonorous snore,
was the only iudicini response. The
lawyer approaching nearer the Court
and raising his voice to an excruciating
key, repeated his, ,rcmark: "May it
please tho Court, desire to call your
honor's attention to an important point
in this casc.' The judge rouscd him
self, rubbed his eyes, and before he had
them open, cried out: "Wifc, wife,
isn't it most breakfast timer" Tho
judge speedily awoke to the reality,
apoIogised, and said he was apt to be
distracted when engaged in deep
thought.--Lc,Oisfo,Oa ./Ou.3tol.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08

a lady who was urging some friends
to stay to dine felt disguSted when her
eight-ycar-old boy came in and said:
"Mrs. Jones says she can't spare no
bread, and Mrs. Brown amt to home,
so | did not get no butter" The
friends thought they had better dine
elsewhere, and the lady thought SO,
too; but she taught that boy that the
evening.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08

session of the heart and hand of n really
noble specimen of the sex, Ia worth
nine hundred and ninety-nine years.
possession of n sweet creature with two
ideas in her head, and nothing new to
say about either Of them. So don't be
In n hurry, we say again. You don't
want wife now, and you have no idea
Of the kind of wife you will want by
and-by. Go into female society II you
can find that which will improve you,
but not otherwise.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08
Frank moore,

DARISH SURVEYOR for Ouachita, mud
General Land Agent for North 1touisi-
ana will attcnd to any business in this or
adjoining Parishes. Parties wishing to sell
or purchase real estate in this section will
find it to thoir interest to address him. lie
has for snle several fine bodies OF land in
Duachita, Richland, Morchouso, Franklin
and Caldwell Parishes. Persons Wishing to
soil will send numbers, description a. to i'm,
provoments, and forms. Having formed
connections In both Washington and Now
Orleans. ho ia prepared TO represent itiSants
n, contested land crecs, obtain patents, &c.
office r, T.. room G. Richardson IS McEnCry =
Law OtficC Evr particulars address him,
care of Richardson q McEpery, Monroe La.
August q, 1870.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08
Dentistry.

HR. 8. l.. BRACEY, Dentist, respectfully
offers his professional services to tho
citizens Of Monroe and surrounding coun-
try. Having an experience of fourteen
wears in tho practice, he fecls confident OF
giving satisfaction III all branches of his
profession. Is willing to warrant all work.
SfTico near tho Courthouse and noNt door
south Of tho O,tdchita Telegraph office ON
Grand street, Monroe, 10. vT-1narl6:ly
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1873-03-08

JOHN A'ENERT. g. D. M'ENERI.
j. & g. h. HcEnery,
1 T-rORNEYS AT LAW, Monroe, La,
N practice in tho Parish and District
Courts OF Ouachita, Morehousc, Franklin,
Richland, Caldwell and Catahoula Parishes,
in tho Supreme Court at Monroe, and Uni
ted states Courts. Particular attention paid
to- business in tho Land Oficc Department
Of tho General Government. n17tf
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

ALoDsTER FARM.-A lobster farm has
been established within the last year on
the coast of Massachusetts. A. space of
thirty acres of flats in an arm of the sea
was inclosed by dyke, with an arched
way in the centre to permit the ebb and
flow of the sea, the tide rising three
feet inside and eight feet outside. Dur
ing July and August of 1872, 10000
Holsters of all ages, sizes and condition,
were let loose in the pond. Food, con-
sisting of refuse from the fish market,
was plentifully supplied to them, and a
gate was put up ptoprevent their escape to
the sea. Last winter holes were cut in
the ice, and traps were put down.
Good hard shell-lobsters were caught,
thereby proving that the water was
deep enough and pure enough to keep
the fish alive, and that the Holsters were
healthy, having taken on their hard
shells and having recovered their lost
claws. This spring about Is, 600 male
Holsters were taken out and sold, the
hen Holsters having been thrown back
for breeding purposes. At the present
time the spawn is in its last stage, the
eggs showing the young fry, and in a
few weeks some millions of young
Holsters will swarm in the pond. The
only obstacle to success is the danger
arising from other fish consuming the
young Holsters, but it is believed that
the gravelly bottom will furnish hiding
plocns
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11
s A traveller in CASHMERE. i,

81 A traveller in CASHMERE, in
Northwestern India, writes: The most
remarkable feature of the vegetation of
these mountains is kind of birch tree
when the rough outside bark is taken
OIL, ten or twelve layers of very thin
smooth bark are found, which can be
cut off in large flakes of any width.
and the length of the circumference of
the tree. This serves the natives for
paper, and great quantities of it are
used for writing, and for other purposes
for which we use paper.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

s- The deep sea diedgings are pro-
ducing new and curious discoveries.
Creatures composed wholly of eyes have
been dredged up, and crustaceans have
been found in which the eyes are wholly
wanting, the blind body being supplied
with wonderfully delicate claws, with
which it feels its way about. These
facts confirm the acute observation
made some time since by an eminent
biologist, that deep sea dredgings
would probably bring creatures with
abnormally developed vision, or per-
haps those in which vision was wholly
replaced by feeling.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

ra- The experiment of planting pine
seed on the waste land of Eastman.
Mass, is reported to be complete sue
cess. A thousand acres are now coy
cred with thrifty pines from seed sown.
The land thus covered, but for this
protection, would have been a waste
tract OF shifting sand. AS conse-
quence, too, game has increased, and
4uail, ployer, and other birds are plen-
tlful, while foxes are by no means
scarce.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

. There is nothing SO affecting in
a child as certain sweet inborn spirit
OF self abnegation. Sammy was little
boy, at school in village far from his
home. One day his father came to see
him, and they took walk together.
Meeting the principal of the school,
Sammy performed the ceremony of in
PRODUCTION. ON. 81" said he, "this
is father of mine"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

CV Emma Black, living in small
town in the Mississippi, saved a mans
life the other day in curious way. He
was fishing, and tumbled out of his
boat, and being unable to swim, would
have perished had not the maiden, dis
covering his danger, swan, out to him,
and throwing into his hands her black
hair, four feet in length, ,towed him to
land.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

WANTED SOME One TO HELP. - In
Watsonvile resides good old colorcd
man, hy the name of Uncle Dan. He
has had an eventful history as Il slave
and freedman, but now he has consid-
cradle property, and is living comfort
ably and happy. lie was never taught
to read, and many things he sees in his
travels are very strange to his expert
onced eyes. A few weeks ago he went
to the Hot Springs as servant to gen
tleman who was sick. Stopping at the
Springs at tie same time was cclc.
.H;atvI vcntriloquist, One morning
Uncle Dan went out to- the celebrated
waters, bubbling up warm and steam
ing from the depths below, and sat
down to watch operations.
Hello, up there said Il goomy
muflled voice, far under the waters
much to Dams astonislment.
{" Is the water warm enough?' % in
quircd the voice, and Uncle Dan looked
serious, and the whites of his large
eyes CLEANED unnaturally from his eb-
Ony face as he moved back few steps
"Splendid!-just right said the
gentleman.
"I say" continued the voice, 81
have been down here firing up for foul
hundred years; the travel is every ycal
getting greater, and l want help"
Who do you want:' inquired the
gentleman.
:" Uncle Dan Rogers said the voice,
distinctly.
Wat dat he say?' inquired Dan,
in anxious tones.
L" He said he wanted you to help fire
up down there" answered the gentle
man.
The corners of Uncle Dams mouth
commenced dropping down until they
almost touched his shoulders; he gave
one look at the hot water, and then de-
liberately turned and darted away like
u shadow which the clouds sometimes
throw upon the earth, and could never
again be induced to take bath in the
mysterious waters of the Gilroy Springs
-Pajaronian.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

V In area California is the second
State in the Union, containing 1873 ,94S
square miles. Texas, the largest, 274,-
356 square miles, more than six times
as large as the great State of Pennsyl-
vania.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

Petroleum is now used for clean
ing guns, and is said to effectually pro-
teot them from rust. In the British
army, mineral oil from Rangoon has
been used for that purpose for the last
twelve wears.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

u A pretty Chinese girl is now un-
dersoing trial at Pekin, charged with
being the captain of piratical craft.
recently blown up in one the Chinese
rivers
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

ra- At the rate things are going on the :
time is not far distant when every
school superintendent in the State Of
Illinois will be woman. Almost every
county has it's female candidate.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

~ A strange death is reported to
have occurred in India recently. A
native, while catching fish in a tank,
put the head of one in his mouth, and
bit it, as the fish was rather trouble
some in the matter of wriggling. Sud-
denly one of the sharp points in the
back fin stuck into his hand; he opened
his mouth to call for help, when the
fish giving a quick plunge, jumped
down his throat, and there firmly stuck.
It could be only taken out by small
pieces, after he had been carried to the
hospital. He was so exhausted that he
died as soon as it was removed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

nlS' One-fourth of all the members
OF the Oranges OF Iowa are said to ba
women,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

- English capitalists have invested
five million dollars in the coal and iron
business in Georgia.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

a A woman carries, on foot, the
mail from New Sweden to Caribou,
Me-, eight miles.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

A SMART AGENT,

DIR, SAID q tall, thin man, clad in
a worn, very shining garb, suddenly
appearing in the room, "I have ven
tured to call to lay before you one of
the most astonishing inventions of mod
ern times" They all begin in some
such impressive manner as that. GA
gas burner, SIR. l was busy arrang-
ing some papers in corner, and hay
ing both hands full, with pen held
held crossways in my mouth, 1 was for
moment at his mercy. Perhaps,
sir, you are aware that in the case of
every kind of burner but this 1 now
show you, gas gives off most noxious
etiluvium, having a peculiarly ruinous
effect upon the eyesight." BY this time
l had emptied my hands and mouth,
and was advancing upon him. Fixing
his eyes upon mine, he started back in
a distressed horror. Heaven help us
sir, he exclaimed, " how you have suf-
fered already! Your sight, sir, would
not last six months longer. This must
not be so.'
Before I could say q word or lift
finger to stop him, he rapidly glided
past me to the table on which the lamp
stood. With nimbleness which rooted
me to the spot in apprehension, he
whipped off the shade, then the old
burner. In q moment the lamp was
ruin. " 1t was mercy of Providence,
sir, that l happened to CALL"
" Stop" l call" Replace every
thing "a it was, instantly"
1.-The number of cases Of premature
blindness" he calmly proceeded, that
have had the qualification of prevent
ing makes my labor q most pleasant
one"
Thinking he might be deaf, brawled,
~ don't want your burner; I won't
have it; take ii off," For he was lightly
twirling the new one in its place.
"There, sir you will feel thankful to
me as long as you life! The only thing
that troubles me in the matter is, 1
know am running the spectacle max
ers."
"Do you hearY' I asked. "I shall
not pay for it,
He struck a very effective attitude.
Payment! of what consequence is
that? I could not remove that inesti-
mable burner for any amount of money,
when the alternative is the 1uin O: yonr
valuable eyesight. For, sir, your eyes
are worth many burners. I make you
present of it willingly. am poor
man, under heavy travelling expenses,
and l have family in want" He
sighed. but duty shall be done.
The price is three pence half penny, or
three shillings dozen. I know you
will regret this momentary harshness in
the long years to come, when you are
enjoying the benefits of that burner.
But that is not my affair, though I am
sorry to think of it. Good morning,
sir. If at any time, no matter how
long an interval, by some inconceivable
accident anything should become out of
order in it, you will find the name of
the manufacturers stamped on the side.
Be good enough to drop line to their
we'll known house at Glasgrow, and
man will instantly be sent to attend to
it,"
was beaten. This offer to send
man from Scotland into the heart of
England, after lapse of years, to put
gratuitously bestowed, three pence
half penny burner to rights was too
much for me. l had to make pur-
| chase.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

* The Wyoming women are fight
ing hard for two representatives in the
next Legislature.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

. say what believe to-day, if it
G"ntradcts what said yesterday. -
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11
A kuklux Trin

RME1aH, N. c., Oct. 1.-The first
ku K!ux trial before Judge Watts. in
the johnson county Superior Court this
week, and resulted in the conviction of
the guilty parties of murder. Two
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

AZ The editor of the Alaska HcyuH
has been looking over that frigid corner
of creation, and, if his reports are true,
our bargain with Russia was not so bad
a one after all. At Morshave, the ex-
treme northern end of the peninsula,
there is an immense fur trade, and, at
various points along the coast, gold
quartz is found in quantities. On the
Kenai peninsula great coal beds exist,
forming walls rising perpendicularly
from the waters edge to the hight of
forty feet, and petroleum is running to
waste in many streams of the interior,
which, if cared for, would yield for
tunes. The inhabitants are Creoles,
Aleus and Russians, and are a peaceful
lot, though, unfortunately, addicted to
drinking "quass," the Alaskan substi-
tute for whisky, beverage which is
damaging to the health, producing con-
sumption.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

AZ A giraffe having trod on the tail
of a poodle, that animal flew into O
blind rage, and wrestled with the invad-
ing foot.
"Hullo, sonny!" said the giraffe, look
ing down; "what are you doing there?"
Il am fighting was the proud reply
"but l don't know that it is any of
your business.
"Oh, 1 have no desire to mix in"
said the good-natured giraffe. 81 never
take sides i'll terrestrial strife. Still, as
that is my foot, l think"
"Eh!' cried thepoodle, backing some
distance away, and gazing upward,
shading his eyes with his paw, "you
don't mean to say-by Jove, it's fact! /!
Well, that beats me! A beast of such
enormous length-such preposterous
duration, as it were-I wouldn't have
believed it! OF course 1 cant quarrel
with nonresident; but why didn't you
have local agent on the ground?"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

49, The days of the week and the
month this year are the same as in
1856.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

~ The Mennonites have decided To
make their homes in Minnesota.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

Cas- Hiram Powers, in his early days
in Cincinnati, wishing to put quetus
upon scurnllous black mailing sheet
in Cincinnati, thrust some burned out
matches and few shavings under the
door of the office, one evening, after the
editor had gone away. The next after
noon the paper had an article about
the base attempt of a vile incendiary to
destroy the freedom of the press, etc.
The owner of the premises becoming
alarmed, expelled the lbeller; nobody
else would rent him place for fear of
fire, and SO the paper. as Powers had
anticipated, was forced to suspend.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

Gay An experiment i'll the cultivation
of coffee is being made i'll California.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

~ Nebraska took the first premium
for fruits at the Boston exhibition.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

~ Blanks, Bllhcads. Cards, Catalogues,
Circulars, Bills of Fare Posters. Pamphlets
Programmes, &C. rrintcdat reasonable rates
OFrIcE-Corncr of Second and Washington
Streets.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

s In Texas ice costs five cents q
pound and beef costs three cents.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11

Advertising Rates

Gg-A liberal deduction will bc made III fi-
vor of those who advertise four squares, or
upwards, by the year.
c. Legal notices will be charged to the at
torney or officer authorizing their insertion.
u Advertisements sent from distance
and transient notices, must be accompanied
by the cash.
U-y Announcements of births, marriages
and deaths, inserted free of charge.
O-y~ Obituary notices or poetry" append
ed to marriages or deaths, will he charged
one-half our regular advertising rates. We
will not hereafter dcviate from this rule.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11
JOSH BILLINGS EXPERIENCE WITH
LAGER BEER.

1 have finally cum to the conclusion
that lager beer is not intoxicating.
I have been told SO by a German.
who said he had drunk it all night lone
Just to try an experiment, and was
obliged to go home entirely sober in the
morning. have seen this same man
drink eighteen glasses. and if he was
drunk he Was drunk in German and
nobody could understand it. It is
proper enough to state that this man
kept lager beer saloon and could have
no object in stating what was NOT
strictly true. -. r
believe him to the full extent of NV
ability. I never drank but three classes
OF lager in my life, and that made my
head ontwist as tho it was hung on the,
end OF string, but was told it was
owing to my bile being out of place:
and guess that it was SO, for 1 never
billed over wus than when got lone
that mite. My wife thot was goin' to
di, and l was afraid that shouldn't.
for 1T seemed as tho everything / had
ever eaten in my life was cunlnin to
the surface, and believe that if NV
wife hadn't pulled off my boots as she
did, they would have cum laundering
too.
Oh, how sick I wuz! Fourteen wears
ago, and l can taste it now.
never had SO much experience in so
short time.
Ii any man wuz to tell me that lager
beer was not intoxicating, I shud be-
lleve him; and if he shud tell me that
l wuzn't drunk that mite, but my stum-
lex wuz out of order, should ask HIM to
state over few words, just how man
felt and acted when he wuz set up.
If warn't drunk that mite, 1 had sum
OF the simtums that man never had
who kept sober.
In the first place it wuz about eighty
rods from where / drank the lager to
mi house, and wuz inst two hours on
the road, and had hole busted thru
each OF my pantaloons neez, and didn't
have any hat, and tried to open the
door by the bell-pull, and hiccupped
awfully, and saw everything in the
room trying to get around on the back
side of me, and in sitting down on 10
chair did not wait long enough for it
to get exactly under me when it wuz
going round and couldn't get up soon,
enough to take the next one that come
along; and that amt awl; my wife sed T
WIZ drunk as q beast.
If lager beer is not Intoxicating it
used me most almighty mean, that
know.
Still I hardly think that lager is in
toxicating for l have been told so; and
am probably the only man living who
ever drunk emmy when his liver was not
plumb.
1 don't want to say enything against
a harmless temperance beverage, but if
l ever drink emmy more it will be with
my hands tied behind me and mi mouth
pried open.
Idon t think lager beer is Intoxicating
but, ii remember rite, I think it tastes
to me like glass of soap suds that
pickle had been put to soak in.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1873-10-11
Proposition frcm Jny Cooke Is Co. to their
Creditors.

PHILApELru1A, Oct. SIT is stated
from Washington, on authority of OK
Governor Cooke, that the firm of Jay
Cooke " Co. will soon make PROPOSE
ton to their creditors for the purpose
of enablingit toresume business. Mem
bers of the firm have pooled their pri-
vate property and personal assets, and
will place it at the command of their
creditors in liquidation of their inlebt-
edness: They propose to pay every
cent .hey owe, both principal and in
terest. Details Of the proposition will
be made public in due time.