Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-07-03

scrip, pasJv1 i oi ~. s1a H'.-
label in the cash drawer.
@s- Josh Billings says" Maclierel
inhabit the sea generally; but those
which inhabit the grocery alwus taste to
me as though they had been fattened on
Salt. They wants deal of freshDing be-
fore they're eatin', and also arterward.
If I can have mackerel for breakfast, 1
can generally mako the other two meals
of water"
z4y- An Irishman went for the first
time to play. Just as the drip cur
tain descended, after the first act, an en-
ginc in the basement exploded and tAe
Celt was blown through the roof, alight-
ing in the next square. His first re-
mark, after coming to his senses, was,
And what the divil d0they Play nextT"
esa- Green apples are now doing their
favorite work-pains frescoed with Sc
we're gripping, and grunting in. various
notes. ..-..-.......
@s- A young man in Maine killed
himself because he couldn't have two
wives. Some men kill themselves be-
cause they have lie. -7'H -,
ny The wife of Methodist minister
in Tennessee has been seriously Ill for
some time, but, says Southern paper
in announcing the fact, "hopes are en-.
tertained that she will recover" And
then it adds "Let him (the hhsband)'
have the sympathy and prayers of H.,
bretheren in this hour of affliction and
encouragement"
no. A man called to see Mr.. Greeley,
at Memphis, and asked him if, in his
opinion, guano was good to put on pota-
toes. Mr.. Greeley paused q moment, and
sud, ut may do, my son, for thosewhose
appetites are yitiated with rum and to-
bacco, but r like gravy the best"
m~- A friend says: Going to Cape May
the other day, we saw q man leaning
over the railing Of the upper; deck, and
with violence giving to the winds the
contents of his stomach. Just at this
iunctulrie one of the boats officials walk
ing briskly by, asked IN a patronizing
manner. q inc "sick sir?" You don't sup
pose I'm doing this fer fun do youY ?"
said the poor. fellow Indignantly, as
soon as he could recover his breath: u:I
ns- A deacon, residing within an hum
dred miles of Americus, objected to the
organ purchased by his church, and
when called upon to close the service
with prayer said: "call on the machine!
If it can sing the glory of God it can
nrov too. Call on the machine! !"
ms- A Southern! negro, knowing the
nrotlts of internal revenue officers, en-
claimed, whom he heard that Rothschtid-
had left a fortune offoar hundred mill
ions "Golly, he mast had good dee
s.rick." .t,.. -,
curran one day to Father o Leary, "that
YOU were St. Peter, and had the keys of
heaven, then youdbe able to let me in-D
upv NV honor and conscience" replied
o'Loary, L. y it would lie better for you that
I had the keys of the other place. for
then 1 could let yo' out" ',''' y
:. In an editorial on the horse dis
ease s the cOngregatonalist suggested tla that
it tim might el be we'll to sit at the feet Of .
horse and learn humility. Just So"
saws the California .Me,cs Letter; Sit
f doWn at It the lind fet Of naale, and d If t
he don't humiliateyou, pull his tail and i
tickle the inside oihifs legs with h stable stab'la
fork. .eH 9a.I "a tpe.bie,G
/ eav- Old Dinab, Dur colored laundress,
passed as just criticism on fashion when
! enc day in agossiling mood she asked,
{" What do you ting q dem psnyas what
the ladies wears flinf!d filliif! Of 'em," ..aWe
think they are xslg ugly we replied
!" Reckon deY, m. she exclaimed.
!" Why, if dem air things growed dere'
Idey,d have all the doctors in Boston a
cut cutting on ,ep Qf;efit took a bar'll of flo,
lrieorn, In doitl,oIs3 lJalJL I.:i1.l !.,lt..au