The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-03-15
ANECDOTES.

sions of astonishment. Finally. one of
them looked up at me, and said, :. Stranger
are this locomotive?'
Certainly. Didn't you ever see one be-
fore 2"
No, haven't saw one afore Men Bill
come down to the station tonight purpose
to see one. Them's the biler amt it?''
Yes, certainly"
"What yer call that what yer in ?"
1--WE call this the cab.''
"And this wheel?"
"Thats the driving wheel"
THAT big thing on the top is the Chin
bly, reckon ?"
Precisely"
" Be you the engineer which runs the
machine?"
"a | am the engineer"
Bill" said the fellow to his mate. after
eyeinS him closely for few minutes. " il
don't take much of man to engineer. does
it?" All aboard!
DRUNKEN DocToR.-We had drunken
doctor of the name of Toddens. who from
his habits was known as Toddv. He was
considered the most successful practitioner
OF our country side. People said old Tod
was wonder, and the drunker he grew the
wider and deeper spread his reputation.
This is common in other walks of life We
have known lawyers, authors, and artists add
to their reputation by being intoxicated
much of their time. People said How
wonderful he would be were he sober" The
fact is, the only wonder was in the liuuor.
Had the man been sober man, he would
probably have escaped notice. Old Tod was
called IN, or rather he was picked up drunk
at the tavern one night almost insensible.
to prescribe for man in the greatest agony.
tie was shaken up, and diagnosis Of the
disorder Toared into his ears All that
could be got from him was the one word
Coffee" A pot was hurriedly placed on
the hre and as soon as it could be made a
pint was poured into the patient who only
roared the louder. Again the doctor was
appealed to, and again he muttered " Cof-
fee." The Jealous friends and relatives i'm
mediately forced down the throat of the
sufferer another dose. A third attempt was
made, when the doctor staggered to the bed
side, and seizing the cup drained the liquid
himself. He then rolled out to the pump,
and putting his medical head under the
spout, had water pumped over it for some
minutes After this he returned, somewhat
sobered, to the bedside of his patient, felt
his pulse, looked at his tongue, and poked
the fellow in the stomach. How'rye. me
MANI" he asked. Ha! Tn better, doc
tor; the coffee did it." A merry twinkle
shot from the inAamed eyes of the intoxi-
Gated practitioner but he said nothing
there. subsequently he let the joke out to
a brother physician. Il wanted that coffee
myself, to sober me up. Damme if they
didn't give it to the fellow with the collie
Cured, though and the doctor chuckled
merrily.- Washington Capitol
The SCULPTOR PowERs.-A good story is
told of the sculptor Powers. One day two
English women entered his studio in Flor
ence, richly dressed, but uncultured The
artist wore his working clothes The visit
ors discussed in loud tones the various OBJ
| jects of art in the studio, and presently
stopped before the statue called California
One of them called out to Mr. Powers,
Come ERE !" and he Immediately obeyed
the rude command.
do you speak Hinglish }" she asked
Yes, ma'am"
"What is this statue?"
1t is called California, madam"
" What has she got in er and ?"
"Ihorns, madam, in the hand behind the
back; in the other she presents the quartz
containing the tempting metal"
SooE afterward the ill-bred women paused
before the bust of a lady, and the following
comments were uttered
What an ugly facet"
What an expression about the mouth !"
Isn't it orrible?"
Whose is it? asked one of them, ad-
dressing Mr.. Powers.
That is portrait of my wife," said the
artist, modestly.
Your wife! " repeated one of the wom-
en-, and then, nothing abashed, added, "Who
are your"
| my name is Powers, madam he an
swered, very politely.
This discovery evidently disconnected the
impudence even of these visitors, and they
Immediately left the studio.
| KEPT HIM THERE. Summer. at a
camp-meeting, held at Chicago gang of
rowdies were present, bent upon mischief
They agreed that at the next call for mourn
ers about twenty of them should go and
bow at the altar. At the appointed word
their leader, well charged with Bourbon,
started. As he knelt at the railing, he
looked around, and saw that not one of his
men had followed him. The keen eye of
the presiding elder had been watching the
movement, and he was prepared for the
emergency. Fastening to the man he bent
over him, and in firm, low tone, said, You
rascal, know what you came here for.
have been watching you for half an hour
past. Now, if you arise from yopr knees
before tell you, the sheriff is standing be-
hind You, and has orders to arrest you. !"
That good presiding elder kept that unre-
pentant vagabond kneeling just two hours
and then permitted him to arise and depart
in peace.
CONTACT WITH MEN-The man who does
not go out among his fellowmen enough to
permit the rains and the dews of sympathy
to fall upon him, is predestined to hope
less dryness; and dryness is generally caus-
ed by the want of variety and newness in
| e trnth A thouaapJ %;,,o.