Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1873-03-20


away from there long since.
Col Tom Scott is said to control
$4,000 worth Of railways.
When may ship at sea be said not
to be on water! When she is on fire
A schoolboy defined appetite by ex'
claiming, when am eating I'm Apply
and when l am done I'm tight.
London Puaach defines a woman at
"a creature endowed with self ornamen
tai instict. .ass
Railroads have now three gauges
"a broad guage, a narrow guage, and
mortgage. ss
When the enterprising butchers as
sistant ''set up on his own hook" did
he find comfortable seat?'
Pennsylvania demonstrates that all
her pine lumber will be exhausted in
three years if her lumbermen keep On
4 Newark father, who don't believe
in whipping, shut his child in the pig
pen. He says the pen is mightier than
the rod.
In Norfolk an an old record has Just
been published, showing that in 1749
the preachers of Virginia were paid in
tobacco.
Henry Ward Beecher says that a
poor man with plenty of "cheek" will
get along better than a modest man
with $4,000.
The foreman of a Georgia jury ref,-
fused to render verdict until he had
q guarantee that the fees of the jury
would be paid
Young lady (who is tired of her COM
panion.) "You ain t bit nervous, are
you, Mr.. Pett? All my gentleman &C
quaintanees start when it strikes twelve J"
''Women, wake up!' exclaims tie
Reuolutio,s, and an indolent rural editor
adds: eyes, and d-n it, turn ont and
make FIRE aud put the teakettle on
Duty first and pleasure afterwsrd, as
the man said when he first kissed his
own wife and then went out to make
love to his neighbours.
The latest whim of fashion is inha
ted hustles. 1t takes young husband
with weak lungs half an hour to blow
his wife up to a fashionable rotundity
a lady, speaking Of the gathering of
lawyers to dedicate new court house,
said she supposed they had gone ste
view the ground where they must
shortly lie.
Young mother (patheticaliy)-"Eu-
gene what if we should loose our child?"
Young husband Cuisines man,
s'Oh, 7 should advertise for it i'm nedi-
ately!" ~
A Lafayette, Indiana, street car con-
ductor has got rich enough to buy out
the company and now proposes to ex
tend the road and runs two trips day,
which will necessitate the purchase of
mother horse.
There are 1900 breweries in oper-
alton in, thir country, employing a cap
ital of over 100000, 900, During the
year endiag June, 1871. 7, l59, 76J bar
rels Of fermented liquors were brew
ed, which, it is stated, required 25,DUO,
90 bushels Of barley, and ls,0oo,) o.
pounds Of hops.
A German preacher near DAYTON.
who objects to his congregation chew
ing tobacco in church, requested them
to leave their "cuds out OF doors on a
flat rail, III fence corner, under the
steps-anywhere, for there would be
no danger of the birds. geese. hogs or
anything, eaiingor carrying it away.
A newly elected Squire in Lake CITY,
Florida, having occasion to perform the
marriage ceremony for the first time,
got the affair C ,nsiderably mixed. and
wound up by saying: "Sufffer lit e
child en- to come unto them; at which
the bride remarked: ''Thank you; John
let's 60"
A BROKEN HEART-The following
instance of final and maternal affection
has recently come to our knowledge !:
A few weeks since, young man at
Pekin Mines might have been seen ey-
erySabbath day, leading an aged woman
to church, assiduo,sly watching every
step. When trestle was to be Gro ,sed
he would tenderly take her in his arms
and carry her over. The woman was
his mother, and was blind. Thus, would
he regularly go to- and return fir IN
church. About three weeks ago, the
son was killed in Pekin Mine. The
grief Of the poor, blind mother as ua
controlla5le. When friends were about
to remove the body for interment, her
beseeching walls to be permitted once
more to lay her hand upon the remains
of her devoted son, were heartrendng
in the extreme. With the greatest dit.
ficulty kind frie Ids prevailed upon her
to leave the side of the cotfia. Since
the day on which her son was borne
from the house to the grave, she refus
ed all nourishm ant, and .plned away, I'M
I'll on Tuesday evening last she breath
ed her troubled life away; and now lies
beside that son, who while on earth,
was the light of her Lite. Her heartl
Was broken. = Cumberland We,cs.