Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-25
AN imaginary quantity-A lady'sage.
RpAnvaH akAvR do not coma f.o,. ~

| 10 nave SIIu, can always tell Water
when see tit looks 50 much like
gin. ~ Y Sun.
A New York boy took lighted ca:
die to search for leak in barrel of
spirits. lie got high before finding it
several rods.
WHEN you feel depressed and dissat-
listed, and wherever you may look
naught but frowning skies meet >o;:r
view, wash yourself.
T. +. MILLER has swindlcd The:
Lafayette (Ind. bankers out Of S1O,-
900 by means Of forged checks, and is
lost to sight.
| SENATOR SUMMERS health is so much
improved that he is thinking seriously
Of entering the lecture field this SCI
| son.
| JOHN WILLIAMS, Of Dubuque, an III
veterate topper, has Given up drinking
at the age of forty. He mistonk Il
bottle of corrosive sublimate for whisk =.
| SIR ANDREW CLARK has been ap-
pointed British Governor and Com
mander-in Chief of the Straits settle
ments and their dependencies.
Mr.. ANDREW CARSAG1E, a wealthy
resident of New York, has given 49,.
! 900 for the erection of public baths in
Dunfermline, Scotland, the place Of
his birth.
A CRITIC compares Dickens with
Adam, showing a remarkable likeness
in many respects, but omits to mention
that Dickens wife, like Adams, raised
| Cain.
NEGOTIATIONS are pending between
Prussia and Austria, looking for the
adoption OF means for the suppression
of socialism and revolutionary prlnci-
Piles.
"WHAT," said teacher to a pupil,
"makes you feel uncomfortable after
you have done wrongl" MY papa's
big leather strap, " feelingly replied the
boy.
THE cat is volume of wonders.
One, resident in Oregon, catches it's
two OF three snakes a week, AMI often
brings them in alive twined about its
neck.
One Mr.. MAURICE RICHARDSON, of
Fitchburg, Mass, recently swan ffsm
Falmouth to Martha's Vineyard, dis
lance of seven miles and half, IN tive
hours and fifty five minutes.
OLYMPIA AND SKooKuM CHUCK is the
! name of the last railroad contemplated
in Oregon. It ought to be short one,
as it is really but step from the sub.
lime to the ridiculous.
A CONNECTICUT admirer of Alexander
II. Stephens wrote to him asking him
it sassafras was good for the blood,
and Mr.. Stephens wrote back Oh six
teen pages Of note paper that it was.
SAwDusr as a substitute for stockings
Oneida Circular, who says that Ia
each boot will keep the feet both dry
and warm.
A GEORGIA bride is described in one
of the local papers as Choking very
lily Graded in the golden glimmer Of
some evening lake-a foam-feck,
snowy, yet sun-aushed. GROWING the
ripplings of some soft southern sea. y
A WIDOW once said to her daughter,
~hen you are at my age it will be time
enough to dream Of a husband. Yes,
mamma" replied the thoughtlcss girl,
"for a second one" The mother
tainted.
A NAN who lately shielded in omaha
had been a clerk in Patee's lottery
Office, had endeavorcd to start 4 Ger
man newspaper, was financially en-
barrassed, and had trouble with his
wife.
A JAPANESE Police Commissioner
has been cashiered, and his entire IS:
tate confscated, for taking bride 10
wink at the doings OF a disorderlv
character. How fortunate that our civ
ilization is more advanced!
GEORGE STIRLING, a resident Of
Brooklyn, opposite Jacksonville, Flor
ida, while attempting to rescue his
niece, who had fallen from the boat
into the St. Johns river, was drowned,
together with the girl.
AGEoRa1A bride is described by one
of the local papers as g looking very
lilv Graded in the golden glimmer ri
some evening lake-a foam-heck,
snowy, vet sun.flushed, crownlng the
ripplings of some soft southern sea.
AFRESoH physician has discovered
that the peculiar odor of Russia leather
has beneficial effect on weak lungs.
and advises consumptive patients to
repose upon pillows covered with this
material.
CLOUD, the actor, who is rowing to
New Orleans on a 5000 wager, isn't
having very good time. His limbs
are badly swollen, and he is afraid =
row nights. as he gets shot at, prob'-
l,lv nv some ono who has bet against
him.
HERE is the latest description Of a
kiss, floating about without credit:
Twas night. A real warm couple stood
| in the pale, cold moonbeaps. Their
Inns touched, aud there was soul';:
like a COW hauling her foot out OF the
mud.
| THE Deseret News says that g a few
DAYS ago our citizens were rejoicing
| over the novel fact of Judge sitting Ill
the District Court and administering
the law with dispatch and evident NY
partiality, without bias against ""S
portion of the citizens
A LADY who the other day bought L
barrel of cabbages in the Georgetown
market, found live baby in it, we'll
dressed. with a milk bottle in its
mouth, and SO protected by the man.
ner in which the cabbages had been
arranged as to prevent its sut1ocatl';'.
The Japanese Government is an1
ious to have foreigners residing IN tie
country made amenable to the laws -
Japan. Although the island emp ~
has made some progress III clv1ilzati''''
it's code is too barOarous yet loI
Western people. Grabbcrs have ;;'elr
heads chopped of.
A son of the Emerald Isle recently
married the beautiful daughter .;
White Cloud on the Missouri sh.'.'
The trousscnu Of the bride was : ):
simple, consisting Of faded calico
gown, which hung loosely over her
graceful form. Tue groom was r"bed
, in tho same garment he had been &C.
customed to wear on duty on the gray
ell train.
The Ceylon \lndia) Observer of July
10 says that there was no choler:, i
. That region ut the date mentioned. Ih'
:, disease, VIII en- it appears in Ceylon, Il
: invariably imported from South II
, India, where the true Asiatic cholera ::
' indigenous. The Observer hears, how
p ever, that cholera ''wave Is APP
q preaching Ceyl"n from the inie''',''
\ district, and it fears that the plague
. precipitated by the convocatlon OF r''
y crims which last July had asscmbie'
= at Ratregam, would reacL Ceylo1l mex
il year.