Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-08-20
Single Blessedness.

My wife has gone away for the summer,
and left me in full charge Of the house
| | like it; hav'nt had such a run of liberty
/ sinceswe were married. [ hope she's hav-
ing a good time, for / can now exercise
my rights as the head of the family
| Can't do it when she's at home; she'll not
stand it. She has rules, and makes every
| body about her toe the mark But I've
got her now, and am having things my
own way. af
This morning I came home quite early
It was two a. N. I'd been to the club and
got caught out in the rain For half an
| hour couldn't find the key-hole, which
must have got mislaid | felt for it every
where, and even got down into the yard
and examined every brick, but couldn't
| find it, was in the act of calling one of
| my neighbors, and asking him who had
carried off my front door, when happened
to find it.and got into the house.
In the dark [ kicked over a spittoon,
but luckily didn't get any of the tobacco
juice on my boots. hung my overcoat
and umbrella on a prong of the chandelier,
let them drip on the parlor carpet, went
upstairs and turned in with my boots on.
{ thought it wasn't worth while to pull
them off, as would have to get up in
l.
had been at home she'd have had me
looking an hour for the boot,jack, and
[ would have lost that amount of rest,
which my system so much needed Be
sides, she'd have made me give full ac-
count Of myself, which don't like to do.
[ never did believe in praising myself
It's better to let others speak of ones
virtues. can now wear a shirt a week
and it's nObody's business I don't see
how [ ever did get along with that woman.
| The idea of having to put on a
clean shirt, black my boots, and
brush up my clothes severy morning, is
! simply ridiculous. aItsis miracle to me
now ever did it and attend to. NY other
affairs. I now read the morning paper
without being forced to see an impatient
woman standing with her dress in one
hand, looking very miserable, and finally
telling me she is going down town and
wants that paper. Any. one, to look at the
house now, would knowtheres no women
about, everything is SO quiet and comfort
able and handy. If want to do a little
figuring don't have to hunt up pencil
or pen and ink, but | just sit down to one
of the tables and do it with my finger,
| and there's nobody to be eternally WELD
ing busting brush around my head and
telling me to get out of the way until the
house is cleaned up. These are consider
atoms that every married man should pom
der over. But when we do ponder and
resolve, what good does it do? That's
the question that is now agitating the
American people. What good does it do?
n OF a bit. If these women can't have
everything just their own way, they swoon
Oft into Mysteries. AS a consequence, we
have to pay fifty dollar doctors bill, and
stay IN the house all day, tanning them,
and promising in the end that eve may
be happy yet" before they show any dis
position to compromise. Our wives are
petted too much. Hndeathis reminds me
that mine won't yield to any other treat
ment. undertook to prescribe more
stringent remedy for her one day, but it
threw her into fit more like Jim Jams
than anything | knew Of She broke every
plate in the house over my head, and then
IL had to kiss her before she would prom
Use not to do it again. That's what makes
me say she is set in her ways.
There, too, are the piano and guitar,
which she kept going from morning until
midnight filling the whole neighborhood
with the discordant sounds which she
called music. Both are as mute as the
bird-cage which was vacated last week by
a strategic movement of the cat
The two hundred pots of flowers she left
me to cultivate [ don't think will produce
much of a crop. They're nearly all ripe
now, and there's no sign of flower yet
| have Watered them twice since she left,