Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1873-03-22

regardless motions, and hang about her
face, that her head Is bent , and that her
eyes will follow that great green tulip on
the Brussels carpet, from pattern, to pat
ern, patiently, seeing only that, as the
shadow Of her on the curtain passes and
repasses, telling only what a shadow
can.
One listens, as she listens to the voices
Of the people passing on the pavement far
below one wonders, as she wonders what
they say If thev speak of her, II they |
would speak of her tomorrow and what
1t would happen they would say, should |
to morrow bring forth what tomorrow
might.
One hears, for she must hear, Christ
mas carol chanted natly by some yonng |
people In the street, the hustle OF hun
dred Christmas seekers coming home |
ward. with laden arms and empty pockets,
from the little shops one notices that she
draws the shade, to see II holly 10 hanging
In the windows, as II used to hang In
Havermash, all up and down the street, by
Ave o'clock-and If she remembers how
many times she has stolen out away In
her clean hood, with some care that no
one else mead follow, shamlng her, TO see
the holly herself and hear the carols sung,
like happier little girls-how can one but
remember too And when while standing
there, the church bells ring out for Christ
mas prayers, melting through the obdu-
rate mail of the welded clouds, till they
melt star through, as still and clear as
Gods voice melting through a wrung de-
fant heart-if her set face quivers little,
can one prevent ones own from quiverlng
as well
Perhaps the church-bells ringin vision
with them, TO the barred and curtained
spleudor of Miss Thamre's rooms. Per-
haps, by sheer bald contrast, her fancy
finds tho wretched creature whom she saw
to day, seated with the mud and blood
about her, shut in from all the world with
her, they two alone together In the dread
full, glittering place.
Perhaps she seems to herself TO escape
IT., fleeing with her hands before her eyes
10 the dimmest corner Of the room. Per
haps she forces herself to face it, turning
sharply back, and lifting her head superb
~, as Thamre can, (the shadow on the
curtain lifts Its head just so, as a passer
10 the street can see.) Perhaps she rea-
sons with 1t, hotly, on this wise, as she
walksi
81 did net think, IN coming to Haver-
mash you wouldeDrike across my way like
this"
0Heaven knows what restless fancy
forced me here. Would TO heaven had
never come l''
"For thirteen years have wondered
what Il would be like 10 look upon your
I face again. How could know II would
be like what It is-so miserable, so ne
elected SO alone !"
Perhaps she argues sternly, now and
then,
II have never left you suffer, at the
worst You cannot starve. The hrst
T ten-dollar bill ever earned ! sent to you.
+ If you are too imbecile to watch the post
J am to blame II you will have opium
or rum for Il am / to blame2 Ive don't
} nv duty BY your shameful motherhood
J II ever wretched daughter did Wha
) would you have, what will you have be
Q eidesP
! Perhaps she droops and pleads at mo
Q ments like little child;
Q 81 have fought SO hard, Mother for m!
name and famel You gave me such Loaf
e of shame and ignorance and squalor Il
i shake off 1t has been such long api
bitter work. Let me be for little Will
8 now, Mother dol Sometime before yo
c die I'll search you out; but not just yet
!, Just yet l''
o Perhaps she falls 10 sobblng, as weme
10 their tensest moments will. Perhap
Il she filings her beautiful arms out, and fall
d with her face upon the sitting carpe
d cushions of little sofa, where she tosse
u her veil. Perhaps, in kneeling there, th
d bleeding, gray-haired figure stalks her BY
!. and the quieter companionship OF troo
= of passive and exhausted thoughts wi
occupy her place.
T. II may be that she will think about
a ! ~ wrtN do NNA Nul
y like this, and with a sky of steel and REL
! ! almost like this. She thought Of 1t In se
" ing the sunset from the window Of u
cars, remembering how a streak of re
g light crept into the attic corner, 10 he
'u her while she packed little bundle of h
ragged clothes, thirteen years ago to-nigh
,o IL may be that she remembers couutin
,o the holly wreaths to keep her wits togeth
a. as she fed, guiltlly and sobbing for terri
~ at the thing she was doing, through u
,r happy little town that she saw crosf
y of myrtle and tube-roses In Mr.. Have
" mash's drawing-room windows as 81
~ went by, and how grand they looke'
=. and tnst q butchers wife che knew VI
he hanging blue tissue paper roses In her 81
he ting-room, as she climbed the depot steT
i-e She can recall the butchers name-Ja'
Ls Hash--Mrs. Jack Hash, as well as b
ar. aud hungry wonder that filled the soul
the desolate child that night, whether g.
~ should ever live to be as safe and elel
and respectable as Mrs. Jack Hash, a
an how she would garland her sitting-roc
~ with blue tissue roses on Christmas, If s
did.
w. It may be that her fancy, being wearit
"a dwells more mlnutely upon the half con
'h' cal, wholly pathetic irrelevance Of tn,
{. things than upon the swift aud feverl
~ history Of the crowded interval betwe
-" their occurrence and the fact that Helt
,or Thamre is kneeling In the Haverma
nm, hotel parlors tonight, fighting all
! II devils that can haunt beautiful a
gifted woman's soul, for her poor, o
id shameful mothers sake.
Perhaps, in the face OF such confl
Ier- the long patience OF her struggles to
nee herself above the mud into which {
ON dropped her when he said "Let there
va on earth this little child" seems undefl
nv and dim-her battles for bread In factor
and workshops, when first she cast b
ack self. little girl Of fifteen bitter wint'
ate upon the perilous chances Of the wor
lov worse conteets, such as the outcast cl
-on of old Peg MatheTs might not escape,be
men unfiiended and dcspairlng as the cl
ac& had been ber desperate taxation OF
Old only power, at last-the voice WI
her Heaven gave her, pure and sweet as
ned own summer mornings the songs WI
re. she sang at street corners before the
the light fell the Windows of happy pee
under which she chanted mournfu
s,x the first solo which they gave her |
10 little mission school into which
Az chanced the friends who heard 1t,
,-a, into whose hearts God put 1t to str
cert down their hands and draw her slral
,Sns way into Paradise her studies and Ct
4 giles since in foreign lands the deaf
~ ~, the master who had trained her, and
her falling Of his great mantle upon her
III wildered name these details, II 10 not
tbai likely, float out mistily before her min
itary Sharp, distinct, pursuing, crueli 81
own question begins to imprison her tort
Miss thoughts. 1t took shapes as vagu
rider smoke, clouds, fogs, dreams, at first
lour. looms as clear-cut and gigantic as
| the mid before her now.
pass- If all the world should know next J
hun next week, tomorrow, at once and fol
lnew what she knows.
IL he II Hayermash should learn; suppos'
her night that little Nell Mathers, the un
cred aud forgotten child Of the creatu
al In whose gray hairs the boys boot on
eu streets, is all there is OF Helene TIL
dNyJ (the very letters Of the shameful !
a' transposed to make the beautiful,
=, Us image), what wonld Hsvermash, ia
os,or ,Syo at her feet this instanti do the nextl
md a Perhaps to the woman's inner
mself neither Havermash nor the world
ug to matter much, Indeed. She has