Beaufort Republican. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1871-1873, 1873-08-21
sitting for 3 Photograph.

Having photograph taken is one OF
the great events in mans life. The
chief desire is tolook the very best, and
on the success of the picture hinges in
many cases the most important epoch
in life. To work up a proper appear
ance time enough is used which, if de-
voted to catching fleas for their phos-
porous, would cancel the entire nation
al debt and establish q New York daily
paper. When you have completed
your toilet you 60 to the gallery and
force yourself into nonchalence of
expression that is too absurd for any
thing. Then you take the chair, spread
your legs gracefully, appropriate a
calm aud Indifferent look, and COM
mence to perspire. An attenuated
man with pale face, long hair and
soiled nose now comes out ofa cavern,
and adjusts the camera. Then he gets
back Of you and tells you to sit back
as far as you can in the chair, and that
1t has been remarkably backward
spring. After getting you back till
your spine interferes with the chair
itself, he shoves your head into a pair
of ce-tongs, and dashes at The camera
again. Here, with piece Of discolor
ed velvet over his head, he bombards
you in this manner: "Your chin out
a little, please" The chin is protrud-
ed. "That's nicely now little more. {"
The chin advances again, and the
pomade commences to melt, and start
for freedom. Then he comes back to
you and slaps one Of your hands on
your leg in such position as to give
you the appearance of trying to lift it
over your head. The other is turned
under itself, and has become 30 sweaty
that you begin TO fear that it will stick
there permanently. A new stream of
pomade finds its way out, and starts
downward. Then he shakes your head
in the tongs till it settles right, and
says it looks like rain, and puts your
chin out again, and punches out your
chest, and says he doesn't know what
the poor are to do next winter unless
there is a radical change in affairs,
and then takes the top of your head in
one hand and your chin in the other,
and gives your neck O wrench that
would earn any other man Appointment
position in new hospital. Then he
runs his hand through your hair and
scratches your scalp, and steps back
to the camera and the injured velvet
for another look. By this time new
sweat and pomade have started out.
The whites of your eyes show un-
pleasantly, and your whole body feels
as if il had been visited by an enor-
NOUS cramp, and expected another.
Then he points at something for you
to look at; tells you to look cheerful
and composek, and snatches away the
velvet, and pulls out his watch. When
he gets tired, and you feel as if there
was but very little left in this world to
live for, he restorcs the velvet, says 1t
is an unfayoraBle day for picture,
but he hopes for The bust, and immedi.
ately disappear, inhis den. Then you
get up and stretch yourself, slap on
your hat, and Immediately sneak home
feeling mean, humbled, and altogether
too wretched for description, The
first friend who sees the picture says
he can see enough resemblance to
make certain that it is you, but you
have tried to look too formal TO be
natural and graceful. .-DaaJury MescS.