The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-01-22

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part of the globe. So he had it made
as large rs house and before it he
would stand for hours and study tho
habits of the different members of the
feathery tribe. Sometimes he wonld
liken his different birds and fowls to
known men in real life. Once 10
stood with n neighbor and kept him
laughing for long time is he would
point them out, with an apt remark.
Pointing to the robin he said that was
Thomas A. Hendricks; the woodpeck-
er that is Ben Butler, the old goose is
Sumner; the parrot is Garrit Davis;
the old gobbler is Conklin; the croY
is Fred Douglass the hawk is Wen,
dell Phillips; and the canary ia Sun.
set Cox, &c. This large house cage is
still to be seen at Washington Heights.
An item, evidently intended TO
discourage marriage aud tho propaga-
tien of the species, is going the rounds
to the effect that decent bridal outfit
must cost st least $4,000. Among
the articles enumerated which bride
must have, are dozen night dresses.
This is absurd. The man who would
allow his wife to wear dozen night
dresses; even in winter, deserves that
his family should become extinct.
"What have you done with your
doll?' said father to his little daugh-
! ter.
Put it away to keep fos my chill
| Qren when | grow up."
"But if you shouldn't have any?"
ooh, well! then it will do for my
grandchildren"
A teacher, in trying to explain pas
sive verbs to n class, said to one Of the
boys, "Now, observe: If say, John
is BEATEN what is Johu's relation TO
the yerh?" "John gets licked" an
swered the boy. mo, no, you block
head; what does John do?" 81 dun
know, unless he hollers." :"
"What would our wives say, if they
knew where we are?" said the captain
Of q "down east" schooner, when they
were beating about in a thick fog, fear
ful of going ashore. "Humph,
shouldn't mind that" replied the mate,
"if we only knew where we were our
selves"
A lady vas examing an applicant
for the office of maid of all work.
when she interrogated her as follows:
"Well, Mary, can you scour tinware
with alarcity?"
"No, ma'am,' replied Mary; II al
ways scour them with sand"
A Lady whose horror of tobacco
amounts most to disease, took seat
by the side Of Il man in railroad car
the other day and nervously asked him:
"Do you chew tobacco, sir?' "No,
ma a'am," replied the astonished man,
"but l guess | can get you a chaw, if
you're su!loriu' for it"
A Horse-dealer, who lately effected
Il sale, was offered bottle Of porter
to confess the animals failings. The
bottle was drunk, and then he said the
horse had but two faults. When
turned loose in the field, he was "bad
to catch," and he was "of 10 use
when he was caught"
"Has that gal got fits?" asked all old
farmer who had paused to see a young
lady go through with her calisthenic
exercises in the dooryard. NO." re-
piled the servant-girl, that's Jimmy,
nastic," "So," said the farmer, IN u
plying tone, "poor thing; how longs
she had emp
| A Dutchman once wanted to wed a
widow, and made love to her as fol-
lows: "If you ish content to get a
better for a worse, to be happy for a
miserable, and if you smokes and
trinks ale, ! shall takes you for no
peter and much worse" Upon which
the lady answered "Yaw"
Ajudge charged a jury o follows
Gentlemen Of the jary, you must find
that the defendant is guilty beyond
reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt
is such a doubt as will convince
reasonable man that the defendant is
not guilty"
DIR. Parr, when a boy at Harrow,
had SO very old a face for his age that
one day his contemporary, Sir William
Jones, said, looking at him, "Parr, if
you should have the good luck to live
forty years you may stand chance
Of oyertaking your face"
Mr.. Jones has long been wanting to
visit Greenwood Cemetery, and in
early summer she says to her husband,
"You have never yet taken me TO
Greenwood" "No, DEAR" he replied;
"that's a pleasure | have yet had only
in anticipation"
A veteran observer says: 81 never
place reliance on man who telling