The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1873-07-24

pity the poor interviewer, he il not
aiwus bad phellow at heart, but hiz
trade is q mean one, and the bizzness has
spite him.
1 would rather lead a blind mule on
the tow-path for a living or retail soft
klams from 2 rieketty wagon than -tew,
be an interyiewer, and worroy people
with questions. they waz afradei tew an
swer and too vain tew refuse
The interviewer IL human hosstrich,
feeding on emmy thing he kan find, and
dlgesting eazy emmy thing he kan swallo
de n kind ov cultivated hyena, and
makes yu shudder tew think, that az en-
ny moment, he may turn wild and begin
teW hunt for human beefstake.
he haz just branes enuff tew keep his
lmpunence aktiv, and tho he haz but
little malice. he will hunt you sharper,
and worry You wusss than o canal boat
He il like q rich cbeeze, chuck phnll
oy little things
Thare IL no eskaping this breed ov
kritters, il yu run they will oyertake yu,
If yu steal into yure hole they will dig
for yu. or stand around on the outside
till yu cum out. M aE
They are wuss than q flea tew q long
haired dog
Interviewers are a cross between the
Buzzer, and are pesky improvement on
both.
Death itself il no eskape from the in
terviewer, for they will hang rround the
departure till they git an item, and then
go for the widow
The interviewer would rather tell the
truth if he kan, but aint discouraged if
he IL forced tew tell what amt so.
They are az pickpocket il, not because
they will take emmy spoons, but bekause
you are haff afrade they will
Modesty would ruin an Interviewer,
delikasy would unit him for bizzness, he
kan even thrive without being honest,
and tew make him anadept in hiz calling.
he don't require emmy more tenderness
than an undertaken duz.
Yu kan git rid ov a hornet by brakeing
his mex, yu kan outrun O blak snaik, and
kan hide from the sheriff, but the Inter.
viewer, like the cursid muskeeter in the
dark, hovers around yu, and if he don't
blight. he sings, which is theAwusstest oy
the two.
hav binylit onto by the interviewer.
miself, and 'hav answered his questions
as honest as ever a child did the kate.
kism, and the next day read the dialogue
In the morping paper, and it was all as
new to; me as Old Probabflitiz log ov the
weather.
Don't never tell any sekrets to an Inter
viewer he will open them az they open
oysters in the market and retail them
on the haff shell.
treat all interyiewers politely; when
they begin tew bait me, ask them tew
smoke (neyer knu one to refuse) and when
they press me too clussly then;oI begin
tew whissell. yseoaa aaiA ssss. - p -
am an awful poor whistler emmy
how. -saS9 ssi bss lJ71IQas szEas BETH q
do really pitty the poor Interviewer;
he works for his bread like emmy other
skribbler, and for what kno, hates the
bizzness, but / am sad when / say, that if
he iz good at interviewing, he il tew i'm
pudent tew be good for emmy thing else
Sum people luys tew be interviewed,
and l must say, these kind ov pholks
never reach the dignity ov impudence;
they are simply disgusting. A.,
Yu kaRt git q journeyman Interviewer
tew waste emmy time on such stale goods;
he would az soon think ov interviewing
last years birds nest, or a kuntry gide-
board
There is no kure for areglar interview
er; he thirsts for the game lilxe-a fox
hound on the trak; he lives upon plum
der, and would rather be sent up for 80
daze than tew-see his -collum in the
morning Gazette without trophy. -