, 1873-05-04
THE DYING STATESMAN.

From the Sacramento Union.
| At the door Of death he lay with the shadows
of the Bier1as ACROSS his face. He sent for his
| aon, and when his son came he said:
hIy dear son, am soou to leave this life and
| 70 into that condition where, to the unimagna-
| tive mind, al is unsurveyed and uncertain.
am about to make al indefinite postponemcnt
and adjourn sine die, and have sent for you,
my son, that may leave to you, for your guild
| ance whom my term OF election is over forever,
and my return to my seat impossible the sum Of
! political and moral wisdom which has put upon
my head the silver OF years, and into my purse
the gold Of the Government.
Ny son, ut is the beat government that God
ever madc." Strive to DO loyal to tit pays, my
SOD, it pays7
You may be called upon as I have been, to
take part in conducting this great Government.
You will find that the Government is "the pri-
maries," and "the primaries are mostly beer
and whisky.
Before the primary meeting has assembled,
you will do we'll to "treat" ns many Of the
crowd Us you can; by any plausible excuse, invite
them to "tako something :" and you will all en-
deaVor to become about as near half drunk rs
you can. This is tho beginning Of true pat
riotism. You will be told that important stnte
matters require clear heads and clean hands; it
is not so, my con. True patriotism begins in 8,
fuddle, and ends in muddle to all, sayo those
who take money advantage of it.
.pasn s9 the Of axs isvs 1
been successful, you will proceed with your
friends to get drunk, and hurrah and talk IN
endless amount of patriotic love in . dorid and
rhetorical style.
& your party is defeated, you will get drunk
with the other side to show that you are clever
fellow and not given to "souring over defeat;
and you will be careful to declare that you hope
the best man may win, and that it is I'll in the
vent you from supporting tho whole ticket, let
who will be on it. Say this as often as you can
at least every time you take 3 "d1ink;" and il
you can drink ns often -, or oftener. than any
voter at the primaries" and still walk home,
the ticket, your fortune, with little tact and
prudence, is made. You have budded for true
patriot.
You will now make judicious haste to see each
man who is elected By the primaries to the
sible, each delegate to your private room, and
be patriotic with each. That il, you will order
the drinks" and continue to talk and order
tho drinks " until You have felt your man
you viii have your head shampooed, take some
sustenance, and away to freeh conquasts. Very
much may be done in this way when all seems
bad. I won my first nomination in this way,
WQeQ LQ9 pTlluaIlGb WeIR QossU AEalMhL me.
Just as the convention is about to assemble |
you will proceed, aH at the primaries" to |
threat" everybody, not forgetting the outsiders.
Tor, if you fire their hearts in your favor, their
shout at the announcement OF your name In the |
convention has o fine effect. have known much |
good to DO dono by thip patriotic shout OF the |
people. It means that you are clorer follow, |
and that the people, whose instincts aro always /
right, are fond OF you
After this convention has adjourned, Il your
n;1 t,no all
parties to "drink," and, amid the chinking Of
glasses and the rolling Of tobacco smoke, you
will all, in Q confused, diffusive, and gushing |
crowd, talk over the great and good days work.
wi1i shake binds With everybody, and take
"drinlk" with. him. He likes it. You will not
be particular where you go OF what you drink.
You must, with gusto, pour down your throat
ANYTHING that nay T., bo set out ut to Jen: 10 ngo
fatal Way my opponent lost his nomination in
1864.
Now, my son, say that the convention has
nominated you-or what is more customary, say
the convention has conferred upon you,
and nevcr-to-be-bought, high aud sa-
cred position-you will at once proceed to ride
your county, district, or State, and "drink"
with evory man who has . vote or can control
one. You will "d9ink with the the, ola dEInkeEs s
nen who never drank" before because they
respect and admire you and your position.
And, before forget it, my son, fs am grow
ing weak, let me remind you to collect jew
,boye the most british comprehension. These
ire very useful between drinks" to rest On,
ind they cause people to remember you with
pleasure.
You viii be told that, in all this. you areloWer-
5 impracticable advice The "moral standard"
in for women and preachers your business is