The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-10-02
OUR EMPHASIZED.

seem short.
The lie-abiities of some men are wonder
full -
What did the spider do when he came out
Of the ark He took a fly and went home.
Don't tell an editor how to run newspa-
per. Let the poor fool find it out himself
How to make an Indian loaf-give him
gallon of whiskey.
The paper having the largest circulation
the paper of tobacco.
How to keep above board-Stay away
from boarding houses.
A woman's modesty is like her color-ex-
tremely becoming if sOt put on.
Almost all absurdity of conduct arise, from
the imitation of those we can not resemble.
Success in life is very apt to make per-
sons forget the time when they were not
much.
Idleness is hard work for those who are
not used to it, and dull work for those who
are.
Reality teens with Disappointment for him
whose sources ST enjoyment spring in the
Elysium offancy.
.Acorrespondent of the New York Mail
sayss6at kissing lady with an Elizabeth ruff
on is about as much fun as embracing
circular saw in full motion.
A wife in San Francisco mauled her hus-
band with rolling pin for his habit of soil
ing his shirt front with tobacco juice, and
the court imposed only nominal fine.
Fancy is butterfly which must be deli
cately handled; if rude fingers tamper with it
the hower-dust is rubbed off, and the gay in
sect perishes.
1t is not what we earn that makes US rich,
but what we save it is not what we eat,
but what we digest, that makes us fat; it. is
not what We read, but what we remember,
that makes us learned.
A religious weekly, eloquent on architec-
ture says: "Wd must beautify the fronts
of our churches" A practical man suggests
that few posts be set out for young men to
lean against while waiting for their sisters.
A Western editor, anxious to do justice
to the description of a croquet party he at
tended, longs for "a pen plucked by the
queen of fairies from the brightest and most
gorgsously tinted tuft of the bird of Para
disc, and dipped in golden ink"
How TO Do IT.-Punch says: To
racncrif1tc
searching his pockets. To rcsuscltate u
drowned Englishman, broil a beefsteak un-
der his nose A Frenchman may be brought
to life any time by skillful imitation of
bullfrog in his ear. A Spaniard, by apply
ing garlic to his olfactories.
AwEsTERN editor having heard that sui
phur in the socks will prevent cholera, has
worried stick of brimsone out of new
druggist, and now wants some one to loan
him pair of socks while he tries the
thing.
II say neighbor Snobs, if you don't keep
your hens out Of my garden | will shoot
them"
"Very we'll Doolittle shoot away; only if
you Kill any of my hens throw them into my
yard"
Crack went the fowling.piece morning af-
ter morning, and the large, fat hens were
pitched into neighbor Snob's yard like rain
After fortnight or more, Doolittle discover
ed that Snobs never had any hens, and that
he had been shooting his own, they having
broken out of his own coop.
A shrewish wife, quite sick, called her
husband to come and sit by her bedside.
"This is sad world, my DEAR" said the
wife, plaintively.
"Very," conceded the man.
Were it not for leaving you, should love
to omit it."
ooh. my DEAR" eagerly responded the fel-
low, chow can you think | would interfere
with your happiness? Go, by all
means
Doctor" said an old lady, the other day
to her family physician, kin you tell me
how il is that some folks is born dumb ?"
"Why hem. why certainly, madam" re-
piled the Doctor, lit is owing to the fact that
they come into the without the power of
speech
"La me y remarked the old lady, "now
Jest see what it is to have physic edication;
I've axed my old man more nor hundred
times that are same thing, and all | could
ever git out on him was, kose they IS"
WELL I'm glad axed you, for | never
should died satisfied with out knowing it,"
Mississippi has a statute that Furnishes
and removes from Office all officials that are
guilty eff being drunk. This is most excel
lent law, and, if enforced, should clear the
courts of men who, having no power to 60
vern themselves, should not be instrusted
with the power to govern others.