The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-07-04

! Liberal. a Philadelphia paper
; IS willing that nature should take
q its course.
+ a Varick street saloon keeper
: announces by sign-board, 'sIrish
; Lager Bier
!, The Nation refers to Hon Ros-
!! cee Conkling as shat purple earth
quake of oratory."
; A Liverpool paper speaks OF
''Artemus Ward Beecher, the great
American humorist.''
4 From his cavalry experience
, MacMahon is relied on for stable
Z government in France.
After the first of July all pack
ages weighing over four pounds
viii be excluded from the mails.
Josh Billings says, very truly:
You'd better not know SO much,
than to know so many things that
amt SO,
The Wenan's Journal, Boston,
has captureda Massachusetts girl
who walked forty miles in two
days to attend circus.
A New Bedford man found a
long-lost brother recently, by
reading over the cases of cures
in a patent medicine almanac.
A Detroit boy run over on the
street refused to give his name
| because he was afraid it would get
into the newspapers.
/ Notwithstanding the solemn
fact that the recent tornado in Iowa
blew the feathers off from poultry,
we have yet to hear single instances
OF woman's losing her false hair.
i A German journal seriously de-
clares that all the great fortunes
in this country have been made
either by petroleum wells or by
the sale of patent medicines.
I Punch's notion of nobility is
that a man Of birth is commonly
one whose remote ancestors did
something and his immediate pre-
decessors for many centuries moth
ing at all.
A German writer, complaining
of the difficulties in the pronun-
citation of the English language,
cites the word "Boz," which he
says is pronounced chickens"
The Utica Herald says it is some
consolation to see a bald-headed
insurance man. You don't know
that justice has been dealt out to
him, but you think perhaps it has.
A wicked man in Davenport, be-
ing on his death bed, wished to
consult some proper person re-
garding his future state. and his
friend sent fire insurance agent
to him.
sim not in mourning" said a
young lady, frankly, to a youRg
querist, 'but as the widows are
getting all the offers nowadays,
we poor girls have to resort to ar
tifice.'
Nashua, N. H., having gone to
the expense of two steam fire en-
gines, now discover that the whole
water supply of the city will only
keep one of them going for ten
minutes.
a Texas saloon keeper, who
used a stolen grave-stone for a
beer counter, ''has been persuaded,
by the argument of grass rope
in the hands of his neighbours" to
abandon the practice.
About the eleventh century the
Chinese invented paper money.
In the thirteenth century, this pa
per currency, made from the bark
of the mulberry tree, was the ie-
gal tender of the empire. aasnt57
The New Orleans Herald SAYS
that any blind man can read the
deplorable condition of Louisiana
upon the books of the State Audi
tor, since the public debt is there
recorded in "raised figures" So.
I A stuffed eagle, seated on a bal
lot-box ditto, is reported to be the
most conspicuous object in the
American department. of the
! Vienna Exposition. The eagle
does not scream much at Vienna.
Mrs. Marin Parker, of Siam
ford, VT, is the happy mother of
ten SONS and sixteen daughters
She might be termed n woman of
| the PERIOD if there was any indi-
cation. that she had come to full
istop. e ass f s,ed -,
| A. Memphis jury, having con-.
victed a mans of murder, now finds
that the supposed murdered man.
is LIKING. The question is, wheth-
er the verdict shall be rescinded,
or the man allowed to murder his,
victim.
+ A gentleman having a horse
4 that ran away and broke his wife's
neck, a neighbor sought to buy
the animal as a means OF divorce.
"No, no. said his owner; az in
1 tend to marry again myself be
1 fore long.'a91tl1.iaaaa 30 o. s-isga,
i !. When Lord Eldon brought in
his bin for restraining the liberty
of the press, a member moved as
an additional clause that all an
Isonymous works should have the
name of the auth OF. printed on the
title page. l~sl. b, seas
q A recent calculation relative to
the principal European languages
4 shows that English is spoken by
ninety millions of persons. Ger
man by fifty-fve millions, Spanish
{ by fifty five millions. and French
by forty five millions.
l. 4'eHaYe you Goldsmith's Greece"
was asked of the clerk in q store
in which books and various mis-.
lccllaneous articles were sold.
NO said the clerk, refectiyeIy,
Awe haven't iGoldsmith's grease
but We have some splendid hair
oil.1 f..sa ssi4a5
In an editorial on. the horse dis
tease, the Congregationalist -sug-
I gests that it might be we'll to sit
at the feet ola horse and learn
humility. sJust so, says the
News Letter, sssit down at the hind
feet OF a mule, and If he don't
humiliate you, pull his tail and
tickle the inside Of his legs with
a stable fork. -
Ayoung man in q suburban
! town sent of his first postal card
on Thursday morning. After