The Osceola times., 1873-09-13

1
not to say shattered.
cjcs had a talk with n promisin
yung lawyer, who tells me it amt
agin the law fur q man TO change
his maine, and as B. J. Sary mar
ried me by the maine ov Hootcn-
piles, it stands tew reeson that er /
take anuthcr naime l aint the saim
man she married, and wont be liza
BILE fur bigotry ef / take another
woman. Ny lawyer Scamp Tro-
ver, ses | needn't be afeard tew risk
his opinion, cxspeclally as b. J..
Sary has TUX back her maiden naim
which | never married, on the con-
trary, the widow Larkins, and so no
ses eff | change my naim the law
will hold that neither me or she
was ever married at all. How it
ken be without somebody bcin ded
or never having bin born, ] amt
Filadolphy lawyer enuff to see; but
Scamp ses eff everybody cud under
stand the law it wouldn't be the
perfccshun ov human reeson, which
it clarly is, fur he read me them
out ov a black stone, but why called
blackstone, when its maid ov white
paper and kivered with yaller
sheep skin is q pint in law. AS b.
j. Sary has taken her maiden
maine, | have felt it tow be my du-
ty to part with the klassic maine of
lIootenpiles, and resoom my boy
hood maine, which is the name Of
my saintod protector. Yer didn't
kno that Hootcnpiles warnt my
real, ginuinc name did yer? Well
it taint, my nobul, my Lyon heart
ed boy, and when you cum out tew
Yonderpin, I'll tell you HON l cum
to take the naim of Hootenpilcs.
The facks is as roomantick as q
novill tail, or q song ballard. Jest
now ] can only say: Oh woman !!
woman you and lickcr hev been
my nitemaros, and yet, alas, alas,
yer winnin ways is still hanting
me! Senco Betsy and | air out,
(Which by the wal, did you ever
read my little pomc ov Betsy and
are out,") the wimmen is my
thoughts by dai, and my dreams by
mite. That grass widder lady fer
instants, / do firmly believe, has
given me powders to make me
yearn fur her. And she has found
out the great sekret of my life.
She knoes ov my riches, which |
alood tow them too plantashuns ov
mine on the Arkansas river. She
might jest as well kno it all, now
Rooshan, and so / don't keer eff you
dow tell ber when introdoooe you
about that $4,000 guv the sisters
L
of charity, but don't plcaze tell her
about my stock in Govymcnt Cow
poons. | want her to hev me for
myself and not for my rltches, jest
as | luv her fur her richness ov
mind and not iur her homestead
abuv overflow with q staked and
ridered fcnse.
Its gittcn late, nycr morning
than evening, | shud jcdge, and |
begin tcw feel mltily loncsum. /
dew wish kuklux would drop that
kussed habit of houling at the moon.
He's at it this minnit, rs if he was
irwin tew warblc like q krcw ov
skrcech ouls roosting around my
cabin, and keepin me awake with
their uncarthly LATTER. / don't be-
liovo in coasts or evil spcrrits, Roo.
shan, but when a man with fine
amaginashun is wal out in the lone
ly kainbraiks by hisself, such moo
sick aint chairiul. Jest since I've
bin writin, I've massakrced about a
milyon mufkittcrs, besides about a
peck of kandle-bugs. When ku-
klux stops to talk breath, kin hccr
kountlcss milyuns ov muskittcrs
clammorin over my virtuous couch,
waitin for the festivities OF the mite.
The festivities is composed ov the
late Jurusalom Hootenpiles. Dew
Won believe them bir white kandle-