The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1873-04-04
HUMOROUS.

N Hfan oVeT-DOTeu---AD edlt0r.
An unsatisfactory meal--A do-
ruestic broil
A "young shaver barber's
baby.
An Idaho miner lstely fell several
hundred feet out of q "bucket"
without kicking il.
Boys are like vinegar: the more
mother there is in them, the
sharper they become.
A pious young man paid $llS
for q penwiper at o church fair in
Brooklyn, New York, recently and
though he smiled sweetly on the
girl as she took the money, his room
mate says he cussed like Captain
Kidd that night after he retired to
his couch.
"A San Francisco widow keeps
the skull OF her deceased husband
in q glass case. Sheo once remarked
to q friend who was viewing the re-
mains: Alas! how often have !
banged those bones with o broom
stick. | am sorry tor it now.
An attorney, in Dean SwiA's
company, once asked him. "Sup.
posing, doctor, that the parsons and
the devil should litigate o cause,
which party do You think would
gain itP" ''The devil, no doubt"
replied the dean, eas be would have
all the lawyers on his side"
"A school girl in one Of the rural
districts Of Pitts6eld, Mass, was
overheard trying to convince 3
schooliellow that she liked him bet
ter than she did some other urchin
Of whom he seemed jealous. "Of
course | like you better than I do
Bill" she said, for don't | miss
words in my spelling lesson on pur-
pose, SO as to be down to the foot
Of the class where you are!"
Punch says: Herr Professor,
"Iss it not a schdrainch ting laties,
dat de Latin race gan not aguire
the Enklish pronouncy-stionP |
had choost dis momend bardet from
an italian chentleman who has
lifed in London almoste as long a.
hav-dyendY-vife eeerrs--and
voot you pellet it? He sbeeks
Enklish vite q sdhrong voreign in
donation. How do you agound
vor a 20 eggshdTa-ortinary zeergOm-
shdanz as dat?"
A writer on monkeys tells us q
story Of one Oh these female unde-
species OF humanity, who,
having lost her infant, adopted .
kitten. One day, the kitten
this a6ectionate baboOu,
who, much astonished at being
scratched, Immediately examined
The kittens feet, and, without more
ado, bit off the claws. And yet
some people do not believe iu Dsr-
WINS theories.
He had been keeping St. Pat
ticks day and was homeward bound.
While going up Union street bill,
working long longitudes rejoicing
lnder the influence of about 1000
lrops of oil of joy, he ran against q
lydrant which he in his befnddled
condition mistook for . little mig.
'Skuse me, sonnie," said he patting
he hydrant paternally; 81 didn't
'un yer down because yer was black.
Grow up (hiC) aud bc q usstul man.
initiate (hiC) my example. Here's
quarter for yeF-(hic) spick it up."
And he went on with a lighter
leart and the satisfaction that he
lad made one poor soul happy.
"Pa," said Billy tQ bis father,
what is meant by chip Of the old
'lock ?" "Why my son, do you
SIX the question ?" "BeCause |
vas in Endfeld this morning, and
old them gentlemen that while
uniting ! saw fifty squirrels up one
rec, They kept trying to make
ne say forty-nine, and because !
wouldn't say 50, they said | was q
chip Of the old block" swell, my
on, they only meant that you was
mart and honest like your pa. You
An on IN nIav now -