Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1873-04-11
hIsHOP POTTS OF UTAH.

EIsHOP POTTS OF UTAH.
Bishop Potts of Salt Lake City was the
husband Of three wives, the happy father Of
fifteen Interesting children. Early in the
winter the bishop determined that his
little ones should have good time on
Christmas, SO he concluded to take trip
down to San Francisco to see what he could
find in the shape of toys to crafty and amuse
them. The good bishop packed his carpet
bag, embraced Mrs. Potts one by one and
kissed each Of her affectonateiy, aud started
on his journey.
He was gone little more than week
when be came back with fifteen beautiful
mouth organs 10 his valise for his darlings
He got out Of the train at Salt Lake, think.
ing how joyous and exhiIarating it woul be
at home Christmas morning when the whole
of those mouth-orgaus should be in opera
ton upon different tunes at the same mo-
ment But as he catered the depot he saw
group of women standing in the ladies'
room apparently waiting for him. As soon
as be approached, the whole twenty Of them
rushed up, threw their arms about his
neck aud kissed him, excIaimins
.'Oh, Theodore, We are $3.50 glad you
have come back Welcome home Wei
some dear, dear Theodore Welcome once
more to the bosom of your family p and
then the entire score Of them fell upon his
neck and cried over his shirt and mussed
him.
The bishop was surprised and confused
Struggling to disengsge himself he blushed
and said
"Really, ladies, this kind OF thing is we'll
enough-lt is interesting and all II at, but
there must be some kind Of a-that is, an
there seems to be, as it were. slight mis-
understanding about the-I am Bishop
Potts"
"We know it, we know it, dearest"
they exclaimed in chorus, Sand we are glad
to see you safe, safe at home. We have
all been right we'll while you were away.
love"
sit gratifes me,' remarked the bishop,
"to learn that none Of you have been
prey to disease. am filed with blissful
serenity when contemplate the fact but
really do not understand why you should
rush into this railway station and hug me
because your livers are active and your d.
gestion good. The precedent is bad: it is
dangerous y
"Oh, but we didn't n' they exclaimed in
chorus. "We came here to Welcome you
because you are our husband"
pardon me, but there must be some lit
tle-that is to say, as j. we're, l should
think not. Women, you must have mis-
taken your man."
"Oh no, dearest!' they shouted. "We
were married to you while you were away"
"What 2" exclaimed the bishop, 'you
don't mean to say that"
eyes, love- Our husband, William
Brown. died on Monday, and on Tuesday
Brigham had vision 10 which he was d.
rected to seal us to you and SO he per
formed the ceremony at once by proxy"
"Th.th -th.th. under y observed the b'sh-
CD in general sort Of way.
"And, darling, we are living with you
now-we and the dear Children
"Children ! children !" exclaimed Bish-
op Potts, turning pale, "you don't mean to
say that there is pack Of children, too p
Eyes, love, but only one hundred and
twenty -fve, not counting the eight twins and
the triplets -
"Wha- wha-what d you say p gasped the
bishop, in a cold persriration :; lone hun
dred and twenty-five One hundred and
twenty five children and twenty more
wives 1t is too much.-'tis awful !" and
the bishop sat down and groaned, while the
late Mrs Brown, the bride, stood around
in a semi.circle and famed him with her
bonnets, all except the red-haired one, and
she in her trepdation made futile effort to
fan him with the coal scutte.
After while the bishop became recon.
cied to his new alliance. knowing well that
his protests would be unavsiling. so he
walked home, holding as many of the little
hands Of the bride as he could conveniently
grasp in his, while the red haired woman
carried his umbrella and marched in front
of the parade to remove distractions aud to
scare small boys.
When the bishop reached the house. ne
went around among the cradles which hllrd
the back parlor and the second story rooms,
and attempted, with such earnestness, to
become acquainted with his new sons and
daughters that he set the whole one hun
bred and twenty five and the twins to cry.
ing, while his own divisional fifteen stood
around and joined in the chorus.
Then the bishop went out aud sat on the
garden fence to whittle stick and solemnly
think, while Mrs. Potts distributed herself
in twenty.three places and soothed the chill
dreu 1t occurred to the bishop while ne
unused out there on the fence, thad he had
not enough mouth organs to 60 around
among the children as the family now stood !;
and SO, rather than to seem partial, he de.
mined to 60 back to San Francisco for one
hundred and forty-four more.
So the bishop repacked his carpet bag
and began again to lid farewell to his fami'
ly. He tenderly kissed all the Mrs. Potts
who were at home and started for tho de.
pot, while Mrs. Potts stood at the various
windows and waved handkerchiefs at him
all except the woman with the warm hair
aud she, in fit Of absent mindedness. held
one of the twins by the leg and brandshed
it at Potts as he fled down the street.