Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1873-05-05

JOSH BILLINGS's PAPERs.

Most people are like an egg, too phull
ov themselfs to hold emmy things else.
misery luvs kompany, but kant bear
kompetitshun, there aint no boldly but
what thinks thare bile il the sorest bile in
the markit.
To be big man among big men, IL
what proves man s karakter-to be bul
frog amung tadpoles, don't amount TO
mutch.
What blessed thing it il that we kant
see ourselves az others see US, the sight
would take all the starch out ov us.
There IL lots ov pholks in this wurld
who kan keep nine out of ten oy the COM
mandments, without emmy trubble at all.
but the one that IL left they Kant keep the
small end ov
Expektashun iz the child ov Hope. and
like its parent IL an arrogant brat.
Excentricitys are most alwus artyfshall,
and the best that can be sed ov them IL,
they are quite az often the result oy diff
dence as ov vanity. .8.4t
If j want tew get at the trew karakter
ov man, i study hiz vices more than
do hiz vrtews. kld
Those who expekt tew keep themselves
pure in this life must keep their souls bile
ing all the time, like pot, and keep all
the time skimming the surface.
1t don't do to trust man too mutch who
IL alwus in hurry, he il like pissmirs,
whose heart and bones lays in hiz heels.
Ihare IL nothing SO delishus tew tine soul
ov man as occasional moments ov sadness.
Jelous people alwus luv themselfs more
than they do thoze whom they are jelous
Ov. Hts
Curiosity is the germ ov all enterprises
men dig for woodchucks more for curl
osity, than they do for woodchucks.
The purest and best specimens ov hu.
man natur that the world haz ever seen,
or will ever see, hav bin the virtewous
heathen.
Men don't fail 40 often in this world
who never make emmy blunnders, and they
are yu and me, mi friend.
Yung man, yu kant learn ennything BY
hearing yourself talk, but you may posi-
bly, bi hearing others.
Thare IL lots ov folks in this world
whom yu kan bio up like bladder, and
then Xix them az high az yu pleze.
/ hav alwuz notissed one thing, that
when cunning man burns hiz fingers
everybody hollers for joy.
sumtimes distinguish between talent
and genius in this way: A man oftallent
kan make whissell out ov pigs tale,
but it takes a man ov genius to make the
tale. ,fsst. ...
kant tell now whether a goose stands
on one leg so mutch to rest the leg az to
rest the goose. | wish sum scientific man
would tell me all about this. aats,d
There IL a mitey site ov difference
whether Mr. John Smith will appear at
Booths Theatre as Othello, or whether
Othello will appear az Mr.. John Smith. -
| had rather be child again than to be
the autokrat ov the world. t..f ..r
Thare is newmerous individuals in the
land who look upon what they hain't got
az the only things worth having
Thara iz those who kant laff with impu-
nifty; if they amt stiff and sollum they
amt nothing.
A fu branes in mans he'd are az noizv
az shot in blown up bladder.
One man ov genius to 81 thousand four
hundred and AZ men ov talent IL lust
about the rite perproshun for aktual biz
ziness.
Ventilashun IL good thing, but when
a man kant lay down and sleep in 10
aker lot without taking down lengths ov
fence to let the wind in he IL altogether
too airish.
think that a hen who undertakes tew
lay2 eggs day must necessarily neglect
sum other branch ov Dizziness.
Thare is ''menny slip between a cup
and lip" but not haff az menny az thare
ought tew be.
The two most important words in emmy
language are the shortest-"Yes" and
No. la.l..
One ov the most honest and reliable
men kno ov at the present time IL "Old
Prohabilitiz; he is an ornament and
honor tew his sex. M 4.
Rather than not hav faith in emmy
thing, am willing tew be beat times
ont ov 10.
don't never hav emmy trubble in regu-
lating mi own kondukt. but tew keep 9TH
er pholks straight IL what bothers me-
-Ne,0 York Weekly. .......