The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-11-08
Dan. o'Conneu and Mrs. Moriarty
~ OLD pUT coon Story

AAEAAt III * EaCN[1 $1,000 -1- - $3.50
mastery Of his profession. and be exhibited bis
own great and innate qualities. Who that ever
beheld him on the Munster circuit, when he was
in the height OF his fame, but must have admitted
his proiigious versatility OF formidable powers.
HIS Tatb0s was often admirable bis humoT with
out art. What jokes be uttered what sar-
casmsl How well he worked his case through,
never throwing away a chance, never relaxing
his untiring energies.
One Of the drollest scenes Of yituperation that
OtConnell ever figured IN took place IN the early
uart Of his life. Not long after be was called 70
the bar, his character and peculiar talents re-
ceived rapid recognition from all who were even
casually acquainted with him. His talent for
yituperative language was perceived, and by some
be was. even IN those days, considered matches
az a scold. There was, however, at that time IN
Dublin a certain woman, Blddy Moriarty, who
had a huckster's stall on one of the quays nearly
opposite the four courts. She was q virago OF
the frs. order, very able with her fst, and still
more formidable with her tongue. From one end
of Dublin to the other she was notorious for her
POWERS Of abuse, and even IN the provinces Mrs.
Moriarty's language had passed into currency.
The dictionary of Dublin slang had been con-
siderably enlarged by her, and her voluble impu-
dence had almost become proverbial- Some Of
OiConnell's friends, however, thought that he
could beat her IN the use OF her own weapons.
OF this, however, he had some doubts himself,
when he had listened once or twice TO some minor
EIeelnEDE OI DEF DllAuG6SdtE- IL wac
whether the young Kerry barrlster could en-
counter her, and some one Of the company in
O'Connell's presence, rather too freely rldlculed
the idea of his beng able TO meet the famous
Madame Moriarty. OiConnell never liked the
idea of being put down, and he protessed his
readiness to encounter her, and even backed him
self for the match. Bets were offered and taken
it was decided that the match should come Of
at once.
The PARTY adjourned to the Huckster's stall.
and there was the owner herself experimenting
the sale Of her NAL wares-a few loungers and
ragged idleTs were hanging round her stall-for
Biddy was u - character" and, IN her way, was
one Of the sights of Dublin.
O'Connell was very confident OF success. lie
had laid an ingenious plan OF overcoming her,
and with all the anxiety OF an ardent expert
mentalist, waited 10 put II into practice. lie
resolved TO open the attack. At this time OCon-
nell's W party and the loungers about the place
formed an audience quite sufficient to arouse Mrs.
Moriarty, on public provocation, to a due exhi-
bition Of her powers. O'Connell commenced
the attack
" What's the price OF this walking stick. Mrs.
What's-your-name?'
ssMoriarty, sir. is my name, and a good one !;
is; and what hev you got 10 say against it? and
one-and-sixpence'e the price Of the stick. Troth.
it's cheap as dirt-so it is."
Zone and-sixpence for q walking stick whew
why you are no better than an imposter, to ask
eigteen-pence for what cost you two-pence."
"Two-pence, your grandmother" replied
Biddy; do you name to say that it's chatting
PEOPLE | am? Imposter, indeed -
SAY, imposter and its that / call you to your
teeth" replied O'Connel.
Come, cut your sticks, you cantankerous
jackanapes.'
. Keep a civil tongue in your head, you old
diaqonaL," cried O'Connel calmly.
stop your Jaw, you pug nose badger or by
this and that cried Mrs Moriarty, showing
her fists, III make you so quicker nor you
Don't be in a passion, my old radius-anger
WI only wrinkle your beauty
by the hockey, if you say another word Of
impudence, I'll tan your dirty hide, you bastely
common scrub; and sorry I'd be to soil my fists
upon your carcase.'
:. Whew! boys, what a passion old Biddy is
IN / protest, as ! am a gentleman -
=. Jintleman iintlemani the likes OF you a
her. Why you potato faced pippin-sneezer, when
did a Madagascar monkey like you pick enough
of common christian decency to hide your Kerry
brogue? p
'!1Easy, now-easy, now cried O'ConneII,
with imperturbable good humor, - don't choke
yourself with fine language, you old whisky
drinking ParGLel0grGm."
whats that you call me, you murderin'
villain % roared Mrs. Moriarty, stung into fury.
81 call you,'' answered OiConnell, 8 a pQrdI-
telegram, and a Dublin judge and jury Will say
that it's no libel TO call you son'
"Oh, tare-an-auns Oh, holy Biddy that an
honest woman like ne should be called q parry
bellygrum to the face. I'm none of your parry
bellygrums, you rascally ~gallOwsbird you cow
ardly, sneaking, plate-lckin' bliggard!'
'sOh. not you, indeed =" retorted O'Connell,
. why, l suppose you'll deny that you keep an
hypOthenuse in your house?'
Its a lie for you, you dirty robber l never
haA ct,ah n %hInr IN INV hOp1Gn -, CuuTnAlfnn
thief
why, sure all the neighbors know very well
that you keep, not only an hypothenuse but that
you go out to walk with him every Sunday, you
heartIess old heptGgon."
oh, hear that, ye saints OF glory Oh,
pass for q jintleman. May the devil fly away
with you, you micher from Munster, and make
celery sauce Of your rotten limbs, you mealy
mouthed tub Of garbage"
"Ah, you can't deny the charge, you miserable
su5muLiple Of q duplicate ratio.
go rinse your mouth in the Lihey, you nasty
tincle-pitcher after all the bad words you speak
1t ought to be flthier than your face, you dirty
chicken of Beelzebub.'
- Rinse your own mouth, you w~icked-minded
old ~polggoR. To the devil ! pitch you, you blus-
tering Intersection of a sinking supeTfctes -
You saucy tinker's apprentice if you don't
for breath, unable to hawk up any more words.
for the last volley of 'Connen had nearly knocked
the wind out of her.
.. While ! have a tongue III abuse you, you
most inimitable periphery. Look at her boys
there's she stands a perpendicular in petticoats
There's contamination IN her circumference, and
she trembles with guilt to the extremities of her
c0roAaries. All! you re found out, you rectiEnecr
Gntecedent, equiGngular old bag! It's with you
the old one will Fly away, you porter-swipipg
similitude of dissection of a ~UorteI."
Overwhelmed with the torrent of language.
Mrs. Moriarty was silenced. Catching up a
saucepan, she was aiming at O'ConnelI's head
when he prudently made o timely retreat.
You have won the wager, O'Connell here's
your bet" cried the gentleman who proposed
the contest.
O'ConneIl knew well the use OF sound 10 the
yituperation, and, having to deal with ap ignorant