The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-04-04
LIVELY.
Tho happy fly season is near.

Tho happy fly season is near.
The Boston Daily Globe begins
its New York news with, ''Report
of the Regular Daily Murder"
Buzz-saw iteu-Henry Stsnakel
of Palestine, Texas. In his life he
was lovely, and in his death he was
divided.
An American reporter spoke Of
Columbus as ga diamond in an oasis
who scared above all his contempt.
raries
Count Leopold Ferri, of Padua
had O library consisting of $4,000
volumes, all of them composed by
female authors.
Out of four thousand plays written
during the past four generations, il
is said that only thirty-five are now
| performed.
"Sisngwhanging" is the sonorous
term which the Springfield Repub-
lican applies to recent address OF
James Brooks.
A western paper informs the pub
lie that board Tor the summer can
DO obtained sal large and shady
brick gentieman's residence"
A Connecticut paper solemnlY as
serts that man fractured the CELL
ing just above chair In which
there had been placed hot poker.
A Pittsburgh brides dowery late
ly consisted of two barges of coal,
which her father thinks ought to
secure her reception by the ton any.
where.
There is woman at Duluth who
weighs $50 pounds. At little dis
lance it is difficult to tell which is
the larger of the two, the town or
the woman.
The New York Sun lately pro-
duced q head line, reading, "THE
RooT OF EVIL IN THE SMILING LAND
OF APPLE JACK" Tt means 'sMon-
ey in Jersey"
The maddest man in Camden is
Smith. He wound up his clock
regularly every night for fifteen
years, and then discovered that il
was an eight day clock.
"The Governor dry nurse. Two
millions nine hundred and sixty
seven Thousand dollars to pay and
no pitch hot" is the Departing cry
of q political editor in Georgia.
A young lady of st. Louis has
Just sent to Europe an order for fif.
ty yards of Brussels carpet, twenty
FIVE feet wide. She is going to work
pair of slippers for the editor of n
local paper.
"When Shakespeare wrote about
patience on a monument did he
refer to doctors patients ?" "No."
Chow do you know he didn't ?"
Because you always find them I'M
der monument"
A man who bought thousand
Havana cigars, recently, on being
asked what he was carrying, re-
piled that they were tickets to q
course of lectures to be given by
his wife.
A western editor says of q con-
temporary that off he had written
the inscription on the wall in Baby
lon, BeIshazZar would have been a
good deal more scared than he was.
| Another wants TO know "what poor
Daniel would have DONE"
The Chicago Post thinks that G
young lady in this State who is said
to have injured her health by hard
study must have been trying to read
one of the Courier-J Journals editor.
ials. That she still lives is the besi
evidence in the world that she wal
not trying to read one OF the Posts
editoriaIs.-C ouTieT-,JouTnal.
There were In the libraries, public
and private, of the United States
four millions and half of books In
1850, thirteen millions in 1860, anC
forty-five millions in 1870, q won
deafully rapid increase. There ar
eleven hundred free municipal Ii
braries, and, significant fact. NOR
than half of them are in New Eng
land, and more than third in Mas
sachusetts alone.
II A conductor on the New Havel
and Northampton road while taking
fares the other day was asked by 81
old gentleman, "What do you d.
with all this ere money you get o
the passengers as don't have tickets.
) "Put it in my pocket" answers
the good-natured conductor. us
what thought" said the inquisi
; tive gentleman, returning to hi
] newspaper.
Thirty years ago Young ma
. entered the city OF New York in q
almost penniless condition and with
; out a single acquaintance in I'd
great wilderness of houses. To
/ day his name is known whereye
!. humanity breathes. 1t is spoken ]
! every city, aud il as familiar TO th
a | workers in the mines as to his broth
! er in the mills, and wherever lar
: guage is known and ideas expresse
the name of this penniioss, nnknOw
and uncouth lad of thirty years agt
il uttered. 1t was John Smith
, DGR6iyy Meas.
ITEMS ABOUT WoHES.-The CIR
: clan ladies counted their age frol
: their marriage, not from the
8 birth.
A smart girl can earn 81 wee
{ in some eastern shoe manufal
tories.
RI A lady at Centreville, Mass, r
q Gently died OF too excessive III
:. Iof whisky.