davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
A Hard Year.

Eighteen hundred and starved to death, :"
was the grim name given by old New Eng
land farmers to the year 1s16-the year with
out summer. The winter months were
unusually mild the latter part of March and
the last half of April was not unreasonable !;
but the weather grew colder as April ad-
vanced, and ended with snow and ice. In
May ice formed half an inch thick buds
and fruit were frozen and killed, and fields
were replanted again and again. Never was
there known such June. Frost, ice and
snow were frequent. In Maine and Yer
mont snow fell to the depth of several inches
also in Massachusetts and the interior of
New York. On the fifth day of July ice was
formed throughout New England, New York
and some parts of Pennsylvania August
was even more eheerless. With ice fem
ing half an inch il thickness, Indian corn
frozen, and almost every green thing de-
stroyed, what wonder that the hearts of
farmers were heavy, and a gloom spread
through the whole country? In September
there were two weeks of warm weather, then
the season became cold, and in November
there was good sleighing Such, in brief,
was the cold summer of 1916, when the suns
rays seemed to be destitute of all heat.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
A Woman Inventor.

In the Patent Department at Washington
there hangs the picture of Yankee woman
who is regarded as one Of the smartest in the
country. She worked in a paper bag manu-
factory in Springfield, and there studied out
machine for turning out at one process q
paper bag, pasted, stamped and ready for
use. The model and exemplary masculine
whom she employed to get ready her pat
tern, started off to Washington on his own
account and patented her idea in his own
name. Whereupon, began long and hard
fight before the Patent Office, lasting several
days. She won her case, and has since re-
fused 800, 900 for her patent. She has also
invented a patent fan, to be suspended in
rooms and halls, it being wound up like q
clock and running several hours.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Whole No. 1916.

teachers who have received success
sively at least two certificates of high
grade, and who have taught with the
requisite success from three to five
years. Theapplicants for them should
be critically examined by a board
composed of professional teachers,
and the tests should be both scholas-
tic and professional At least one
such examination should be held an
nually in each county, and the stand
ard should be as nearly uniform as
possible throughout the State.
1t would be well, we think, to issue
two classes of life certifcates-one
for elementary teachers, and one for
teachers in high schools. The high
school certificate might also state
whether the holder is qualified to
teach the classics. If deemed advis-
able, these professional certificates,
issued by the State, might be made
valid for five years, renewable for life
on the holders producing satisfactory
evidence of continued success in
teaching and progress in professional
attainments. But we should much
prefer to make provision for the sim
pie record of these facts on the GER
tifcate at the close of five years.
Such a record would give increased
value to the certificate, and would be
priced by all progressive teachers.
We are happy to add that Pennsyl-
vania, California, Ohio, Illinois, and
several other States have taken an i'm
portant step in this direction The
schoollaw of Pennsylvania provides
for the issuing of three grades of GER
tifcates, called provisional, profes-
sional, and permanent, the last being
issued by the State Superintendent
to the holders of county professional
certificates, on the recommendation of
boards of school directors, the county
superintendent, and a committee of
professional teachers appointed by the
county teachers institute We need
not specify the conditions. The
State Department has already issued
963 permanent certificates. Compe-
tent judges pronounce the California
system the best In the country. It
provides for the issuing of several
grades of certificates, including Life
certificates, and the examining boards,
state and county, are composed ex-
clusively of professional teachers
Ohio, Illinois, and several other States
each issue State certificates, valid du-
ring the life of the holder, but the
system reaches too few teachers to
meet fully the demands of the profes-
sion. 1t needs to be supplemented
by some provision which Will place
the life certificate within the reach of
worthy professional teachers in every
county, whether employed in city or
country schools.
We hope that this subject may be
discussed in every State in the Union
until teaching is legally recognized
and honored as a profession. A
united effort on the part of the leading
teachers of the country is all that is
needed to secure this great end.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

" The churches are independent
bodies" If so, may not some con
gregations with which he is not ac
quainted ''gro'at certiefates," or does
he presume to be familiar with the op
erations of all the congregational
If so, he must be an overseer. In that
case we have Bishop 'EKlise" also
''to preside over deliberations, and to
determine the moral authority of faith
and doctrine" I quote the language
of ''The Man of Straw" which shows
plainly that he knows nothing of the
Office or duties of a Bishop.
But if the Insurance Company
"gra'ats no certificates" why are we
solicited to accept them by its mem
bers? Are her members so ill-in-
formed as not to know that no such
thing is known among them ? Nol
do I know how the Company can dc
business without something of the
kind for it is the worst of meanness
for any institution that has a respect
able reputation, to refuse to give its
members character where the individ-
ual is unknown. The very absence Of
SO necessary a provision proves the
''headlessness" of the institution, and
that it has no confidence in its own
pretensions. Common sense says
they 'Egro'at certificates" so do facts.
There is evident confusion here, a
characteristic belonging very natur-
ally to aceohalOats organizations.
My assailant seems to have an utter
adherence of ecclesiastical superiors.
Why? Has he not learned that every
religious body that wants a head is a
failure /? The Insurance Company is
a dying testator to the verify of my
declaration. The sheep-fold over
which there is no shepherd will soon
become the prey of the wolf. The
school which has no instructor who
presides, the society which has no
chief magistrate, cannot fail to exhibit
a scene Of confusion, and must finally
be dissolved.
The most brutal thrust "The Man
of Straw" gave me was his refusal to
be accounted my kinsman. lam sor-
ry my reporter did not extract one
line more from the remarks made at
Fairfax. That line is, 'we blush to
own her" A child may blush to own
an inebriate father; a brother may
blush to own an unchaste sister, but
the necessity is upon them. They
must submit. So must we. A most
unhappy fate.
''The Man of Straw" fails to under
stand the expression that hurt him
most-"born without a head I
want no misapprehension here. I
mean that it came into the world with
out either q visible or an invisible
head; that it is Popeless, Bishopless
and Christless. What seems it's head,
if head it may be called, is "POlitics"-
nothing more, nothing less. How
can any one fail to be ignorant Of a
thing sans head, sans heart, sans
history, sans everything?
Now that the effervescence has gone
from the champagne, I fancy I feel q
little as the house.keeper Euryclea
did after her rebuke. She, being ad-
mitted into the hall where the oppres-
sors of the house lay slaughtered, her
first impulse was to utter triumph
ant shout. But Ulysses checked her
by saying, "Woman, rejoice in silence,
and restrain thyself and shout not; it
is not right to triumph over dead
men," Query, is it right to triumph
over The Dead Thing"
N n-MrInlrn DE II
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Teachers Department,
What We Need.

Some words of approval havereaeh-
ed us in regard to the establishing of
this Department, but what we most
need at this time is material aid, in
the shape of appropriate articles for
publication. Come, Brother Teachers
rally to our helpl
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Rays Higher Arithmetic.

As to ''Harrys" remarks in his last
communication, can he not point out
the discrepancies referred to? We
have not had much experience with
the "Higher." Perhaps, like Nc
Guffey's Spelling Book, one edition
contains the mistakes. Which is
right ?
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
ConuDd-nnlS. s.

Which woail You rather, that lion ate you or
tiger7 Why. yol woald rather that the lion ate the
tiger, OF course.
In what case is it absolutely impossible to be slow
and sure !? In the case OF a watch.
When is a newspaper the sharpest9 When its
filed.
Wat is the most likely thing to become woman2
Why, little girl.
Why do honest dlcsls dip their heads under wa
ter? TO fQuidaie their little bills.
Who was tie s:raightest man in the Bible? Jo-
seph, for Plara1h wanted TO make ru!er of him.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Select Miscellany.
SHE WOULD BE A MASON.
BY ROBERT MORRIS.

BY ROBERT MORRIS.
/ The funniest story that ever heard,
The funniest thing that ever occurred,
I Is the story of Mrs. Mehitable Byrde,
Who wanted to he Mason.
Her husband, Tom Byrde, Mason true
As good Mason as any of you,
4 He is Tiler Of lodge Cerulean Blue,
And tiles and delivers the summons dua;
And she wanted to be a Mason, too
This ridiculous Mrs. Byrde
She followed him rouud, this inquisitive wife,
And nabbed him and teased him out of his life;
SO, to terminate this unhallowed strife,
He consented at last to admit her.
And first to disguise her from bonnet and shoon,
The ridiculous lady agreed TO put on
His breech-ah! forgive me, mean pantaloons;
And miraculously did they fit her.
The Lodge was at work on the Masters Degree;
The light was ablaze on the letter G;
High scared the pillars J. and B.;
The officers sat like Solomon wise,
The birthstone burned amid horrid cries;
The goat roamed wildly through the room;
The candidate begged 'em to go home;
And the devil himself stood up in the east,
As proud as en- Alderman at a feast,
When in came Mrs. Byrde
OH horrible sounds! OH horrible sight.
Can it be that Masons take delight,
In spending thus the hours of night?
Ali could their wives and daughters know
The unutterable things they say and do,
Their feminine hearts would burst with woe;
But this is not all my story
For those Masons joined in hideous ring,
The candidates bowling like everything,
And thus in tones of death they sing,
The candidates name is Morey.
''Biood to drink, and bones to crack;
Skulls to smash, and lives to take;
Hearts to crush and souls TO burn;
Give old Morey another turn,
And make him all grim and gory."
Trembling with horror stood Mrs. Byrde.
Unable to speak a single word;
She staggered and fell in the nearest chair,
On the left OF the Junior Warden there,
And scarcely noticed, so loud the groans,
That the chair was made of human bonee
=
That ghastly throne of horror rolls;
Those skulls, the skulls that Morgan bore!
Those bones, the homes that Morgan wore!.
His scalp across the top was aung;
His teeth around the arms were strung;
Never in all romance was known
Such uses made of human bone.
The birthstone cleaned in a lurid fame,
Il, IL. -sNr
Good angels, that inquiring came
From blissful courts, looked on with shame
And fearful melancholy.
Again they danced, but twice as bad.
They danced and sung like demors mad,
The tune is Hunkey-DoryI
'Blood to blood, ;" etc., etc.
There came pause-a pair of paws
Reached through the floor, up sliding doors,
And grabbed the unhappy candidate!
How can without tears relate,
The lost and ruined Morey's fate?
She saw him sink in the fiery hole.
She heard him scream, ''AIy soul nv soullD
While roars of fendish laughter roll,
And drown the yells of mercyl
"Blood to drink" etc., etc.
he ridiculous woman could stand no more;
he tainted and fell on the checHered floor,
Midst al the dia5o,ical roar.
What then, you ask me, did befall
iehitable Byrde? Why, nothing at all,
'he dreamed that she'd been in the Mason's Hall
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

with its capricious glow, but it was
not very bright, and the dusk was
deep in the little parlor, so nobody
saw much of the surprise which Mar.
garet Churchill must have felt. One
uncomfortable start she gave, but
that was all, and her only welcome to
this strange guest was silent bow.
Then they sat down-Margaret in
the shade-and Hugh, who was ever
impetuous, plunged at once to the
point.
TTo ho oo,,f;,a,tod7
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
HARD TO SUIT.

Said she, 'pray tell me, if you can,
Why men so bashful are?
They fall in love, and dream, and sigh,
And worship US afar;
But when they strive 10 tell the tale,
They stutter, hesitate, and-fail!
eve ladies ike man, you know,
One not afraid to speak"
And here thought bl1sh appeared
Upon the maiden's cheek,
Then to myself said, al see
This maiden's heart belongs to me-,
Then out spake, ''oh, lady fair,
My heart, my life, is thinel
And since boldly speak my love,
Pray, wilt thou .ot be miner"
"No sir" said she with wondering stare,
Strange, how presuming some men are!"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

ADetroit boy knocked at the door and
carelessly inquired of the man ofthe house:
''Are you going to move to-day" 'No, f"
is the answer. 'T'l bet $25 you are, re-
spends the boy. ''Why, you impudent
dog?" ''Cos, your roofs blazing, screams
the adolescent rascal, as he runs for life;
and it was true.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

l. Spartacus terrified his enemies.
2. Where was Carlos born?
?. bought new Elgin watch.
4. She found the babe among the rushes.
.. In him 1 trust, an for this pray.
&. II was cunning hamlet by the roadside.
Z. Have you the "Kankakeep cherry7
S. efeared no harm, strong in the faith.
O. VIII you brave the storm, or row to a sbelter7
10. You can't beat Sambo q, manufacturing toys
A. T. CHER.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
ArithmeticaI Problem.

What per cent. is q OF the whole more than the
remainder?
What per cent. is 37ths of the whole less than the
remainder An answer is requested.
Bell, o. KIMPLETON,
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

which does not prove, bat comes great deal near
er than "Jack of Belfast's'' answers.
! think it cannct be solved. There are too many
conditions in the question. If ne can prove the
question by his answers, I would like to see hi:
solution. 4. SHOEMAKER,
Oal- PiJrn q
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

A Connecticut editor, having got into a
controversy witha cotempOrary congratulate
ed himself that his head was safe from "a
donkey's heels" His cotemporary inferred
from this that he was unable ''to make both
ends meet"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

The clerk of a San Francisco lawyer
guarded against the possibility of forgetting
the secret of the combination by writing it
upon piece of paper and pasting it upon
the knob of the safe.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

| A saloon-keeper having started business
in building where trunks had been made,
asked friend what he had better do with
the old sign-''Trunk Factory" "Oh"
said the friend, ''just change the T. to D.
and it will suit you exactly"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

''There's one thing" said gentleman at
a race, ''that nobody can beat, and that is
time" Fudge" exclaimed bystanier,
''every drummer in the land beats time!"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

A New York minister preahing the funer-
al sermon of famous skater, the other day,
said he had ''gone where there is no ice. "
That was capable of very serious interpre-
tation.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

Published in the News of Jan. 90.
B. $l.1el{ - s9-Sths and c. s7K - s 7-Sths per
Rod. Now divide 100 Rods in two parts, so that
they shall be to each other as is to 9-thus:
splus =-1i. Then 16 o.: 100 R 56k R. C digs.
l6: lOoR: 4ssi r. digs.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
ROAD NOTICE.

RT Office Is HEREBY GIVEN, that a petition
IL viii be presented TO the Commissioners OF
Highland County, Ohio, at their next regular session
praying for the alteration OF County hocd, IN Dod
Beginning at a point in the County Road leading
from Jacksonville to Danville, where said road
crosses the line between the land of E. s. Pulse and
George Pulse, (oeing the south line of George use
thence an easery course along said line me ltis
borO' road also that so much OF the old road as
tends from the Jacksonville and Danviile road
through the land Of George Pulse and along his line
and the line of Robert Thompson IL the Termination
OF said new road be vacated.
MANY PETITIONERS.
Jan. 50, 1873. jan3OwS
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

A man out West, who offered bail for a
friend, was asked by judge, if he had an
incumbrance on his farm. ''Oh, yes, said
he; ''my old woman"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

An abbey in Ireland exhibits two skulls
of Shakespeare of him when he was
little boy, and the other when he was a man.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

An old lady upon taking her first ride in
the cars, remarked, when the train ran of
the track, ''You fetch up rather sudden,
don't ye9"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

The Governor of Maine, in his message,
points to the injustice done female teachers
as regards wages, and urges a speedy re-
form
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Youths Department.
Solution to Ditch Question,

sS-original Enigmas, harades, 5Problems, etc.,
are respectfully solicited. The answers must always
accompany them, with the real name of the writer.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

~ Miss "Peggie" writes TO know if we will ac-
cept her as contributor to the Youths Depart
ment. Certainly if her contributions are worthy of
publication; but how can we know this until she
sends us some OF her productions?-[Ed. Y.D.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
100 Rods
500 1-6th

Which is my answer. 100 Rods.
Now 56I r. X 81! c+s-s4S .-I2ths. C's money
And 4S::( R. x sI.1sl< cts-49 T-l2,hs. BIS money
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Enigma.
I am composed of 10 letters.

My first is ia mouse, but not in rat,
My second is in glove, but not in cravat,
My third is in eleven, but not in ten,
My fourth is in whittier, but not in when,
My ffth is in ship, but not in boat
My sixth is in sheep,b not in goat,
My seventh is in squeeze, and also in press,
Ny eighth IS in no, but not in yes,
Ny ninth is in cent, but not in dollar,
by tenth is in lace, but not in collar
My whole is the name of young man who saws
he intends 'feeding his COW ON silk and dressing
her in hay." LITTLE DWARF
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13

Answer to Enigma in last weeks News. Buffalo
Bill.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1873-02-13
Home Correspondence.

To be continued.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-04-12
THE SACHEM'S SECRET.

'Begone you miserable little bagsar,
and never dare to show your face here
again. or | will kick you out of duors, ;
and Doctor Skinner rose, as il to pu,
his threat into execution.
The by whom he hla addressed re-
treat d before the great, burly man,
though his black eyes flashed vindctive
tire-his little hands were clenchcd. his
dark face flushed, and his whole munner
told plainly that he wanted the strength
and not the will to, retaliate. Aud
onco out of the house of the physician
he threw himself down hcneath the frs
sheltering tree aud brooded over his
wrongs.
The Doctor returned with an anrry
face indoors, flung himself savasely in
his arm chair and gave passionate and
audible utteranco to his thoughts The
young scamp, to k,ep coming here day
after day. Something must be done to
quiet his tongue, or at last it may raise
wasps nest over my cars, and SIN II
not escape without n sting. lie knows
too much, and lucky for me that he is
only child. Yes, something must be
done; and the sooner the better. Let
me see. He has no relatives to be in.
quirng into the matter and if he should
fail TO turn up some day, ther, will be
no hue and cry. Lot me SEQ. II his
body was found In the river no one
could say that he had not been acc
dentally drowned, even if they took
sufficient interest for that, which is
doubtful. Then the law aud its officers
are very lax on the frontier, and--but
good heaven! | am thinking of mur
der ! and he started at the sound of the
word, although it WIS uttered by his
own lips. But nerving himself from
bottle that stood near, he continued If
his father did die, nothing can be said
about it. Such things happen in the