Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-06-05
The Oanburv Aan's Experience ~ q
0ardener.
Frngn %l,> r>nHn.~~

We suppose there il q time that
comes to every man when he feels be
should live to have . garden. II he
takes such = notion he vill tell his
wife of it. This is the first mistake he
makes, and the ground thus lost ..is
never fully recovered. She draws her
chair up to his, and lays one hand on
his knee, and purses her lips into a
whistle of expectation-the vixen
and tells about her mothers garden,
and how nice it is to have vegetables
fresh from the vines every morning,
and she will go right out and plan the
whole thing herself And 10 she
does go out. He takes his spade
and works himself into per.
spiration, and she tramps around un-
der q frightful sun bonnet, and gets
under his feet land shrieks at the worms,
and loses her shoe; and makes him
first vexed, and then mad, and then
ferocious. After the garden is spaded
he gets the seed, and finds she has
been thoughtful enough to open the
papers, and empty thirteen varieties
of different vegetables into ore dish.
This leads him to step out doors for q
moment. Then he takes up the seed
and . hoe, . line, and two pegs, and
starts for the garden. And then she
puts on that awful bonnet, and brines
up the rear with q long handled rake.
and pocket full of beans and petunia
seed, and dahlia bulbs. While he is
planting the corn, she stands on the
cucumber hills, and rakes over the seed
pan. Then she puts the rake handle
over her shoulder, and the rake teeth
into his hair: and walks over the other
beds. He don't find the squash seed
until she moves, and then he digs them
out of the earth with his thumb. She
plants the beet seed herself, putting
about two feet of earth and sod upon
them. Then she takes advantage of his
absorption in other matters, and puts
down the petunia seed in one spot, and
afterwards digs them up and puts them
down in another place. The beans ahe
conceals in the earth wherever she can
find q place, and puts tho bulbs In the
cucumber hills. Then she tips over
the seed pan again, and apologies,
and steps on one or two of the best TO-
mato plants, and says, 20, my I" which
in no way resembles what he says,
About this time she discovers q better
place for the petunia seed, but having
forgotten where she last put them she
proceeds to find them,' and within an
incredible brief space of time succeeds
in unearthing pretty much everything
that has been put down. After con-
fusing things 80 there is no earthly
possibility of ever unravelling
them again, she says the sun
10 killing her, and goes over to the
fence where she stands four hours, tell
ing the woman next door about an aunt
of hers who was confined to her bed
for eleven years, and had eight doctors
from the city, but nothing would give
her any relief until the old lady-but
you have heard it before. The next
day . man comes to his Office to get the
pay for a patent seed sower which his
wife has ordered, and he NO moro than
gets away before tho patentee of new
lawn mower comes in with an order for
ten dollars, and he in turn is followed
by the corn sheller: man. and the mis-.
erable gardener starts for home to head
of the robbers, and finds his wife ct
the gate With his own hat on, and Just
about to close bargain with a smooth
faced individual for q two hundred
dollar moving machine, and a pearl
handled, ivory-mounted hay cutter.
He first knocks the agricultural imple-
ment agent on the head, aud then
drags the miserable woman into the
house, and looking the door, gives
up to his emotions.