The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-09-27

The advent of wild cat broke up
wedding in Missouri the other evening
The cut wanted to Introduces new claws
in the marriage ceremany.
"A traveller seated at hotel table in
Omaha ordered beef, and when the
waiter delayed, the traveller went to the
kitchen, found him, and flung him over
the range and broke his skull.
Whom We asked n man lev days ago
what induced him to make law student
Of his son, he replied "Oh, he always
was a lying little cuss, and l thought
Id humsr his leading propensity"
A writer called at his printers, and
accused tho eompositor or not Ia wing
punctuatod his poem, whsn TIE typo
earnestly replied am not pointer;
am a setter"
"Whare did you get that turkey ?"
said d colonel to recruit, who came
into camp with fine bird Stole it =
was tAe laconic answer "Ah." said
,hscelonel. "my boys may steal, but they
won't lie."
a good looking lady recently enteroi
dyer's shop, and thus accostod him:
"You are the man. that dyes, are you
not !" NO." replied the gallant, II
nm the mau that lives; but | will dye
Tor you
Airs Mangawkin says that much as
che loves Mr.. Macgawkin, as highly as
she respects his virtues and learning,
there is one thing at least that she will
not put up With, aud that is his catln,
peanut candy in bed.
The Aiken Tribune plaintivcly de-
scrbes the situation in that town as fol
lows: "Rain plcnty greenbacks
scarce; cotton iruiting slowly rust in
creasing rapidly planters looking
gloomy; hard times come again no
moro"
The most appalling case of deafness
outside of an asylum wasnthat of an old
lady who lives just across the street from
navy-yard. The other day they fred
salute of twenty.one guns. The old
lady was Observed to start and listen as
the last gun was fred, aud then she
exclaimed, Come iny'
A Sunday school teacher was explain
ing tho omnipresence OF the Deity to
his scholars, aud ended BIZ telling them
shat He was everywhere. Wheroupon
red headed boy asked: SIS he in my
pocket Z" The teacher replied thai the
question was rather profane, but he
would answer, "Yes, He was every
where" "I'vo got you there" said the
boy; "I ain't got no rocket"
Victor Hugo has nearly ready new
novel on the French Revolution of
1899. If Victor can't do any better
than he has been doing he ought to bs
lSanquisbed, and France might make
him tho basis of some such agreement
with Germany as this-that sho
(France) will put Hugo under feather
bed and smother him, if Germany will
DO the same with Louise Muhlbach.
Thsre is lively stable keeper VIII o
won't let his heraes to anybody without
'sxactins promise that che will drive
slow. One day youth, who wa nted
TO SO TO n funeral, applied to the livery
man for horse. "Nfy frfssa, you can
have one If you will agree to drive
Glow" well, see here, I'm 6 ling to
funeral, aud I'm bound to keep up with
the prscsssiou If it kills the horse"
The Duly L,Aon Hsrtshf says: An
old culvort which had been filled UP,
had been washed out by the Water, which
was running like mill race, deep and
surgipg like torrent. Into this abyss
she engine with four men were plunged,
they having scarcely moments warn
ing of the impending danger. For
long way each side was the swamp, now
almost like lake, being Inundated,
and tho track was the only passage
The Republicans have nominated
their ticket for Aldermen, which repre-