Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-04
Wit and Wisdom.

GAME fruit-The checker berry.
To learn the value of money-Try to
borrow
A WISE questioning is the half of
Observation-Disclosures.
Is it not strange that contractors
should be engaged to widen streetss
One way to get out of scrape-let
your beard grow.
BEAUTY devoid Of grace is a mere
hook without the bait.
WHAT is that which no one wishes to
have and no one wishes to ,lose2 A
bald head.
A STRAIGHT line is the shortest in
'tmurafs as in'geumetry:~
Mariner great poverty nor~ great
riches will hear reason.
To BE furious in religg ion is to be
irreligiously religious.
To LOVE is to place our happiness in
the happiness of another. =.
The ways of happiness, like those of
light. are cmorless when unbroken.
BoYs on land often play 1t the game
of pitoh-and.toss. When ct sea still
oftener.
| NOTE by q chiropodist lin the coun-
try FOR the 'hrst time 80: Must be very
Pallful-cotn in the ear" - --7-1
! EKosoMY IL a savings bank, into
which men drop pennies, and git DOL
lars in return.
A CONTEMPORARY has been studying
Phonotypy. Here is specimen: swat
kant b ord must b ndurd."
FATE is is nothing, say the Hindoos,
but the deeds committed in q prior
state of existence.
! WHOLESOME notice (by local board
of health at a atering-place) mo
crab allowed, on the beach, un1fressed.
AvAR1cE il iksa graveyard I; it takes
eli that it kan git and gives nothing
back.
| "1 CONE to steal, " as tie rat OBJ
served to the trap. ""And I spring to
embrace you, as the trap replied to
the rat.
HAVE the courage to be ignorant of
a great number of things, in order to
avoid the calamity of being ignorant
of everything.-Syolney Smith.
THE earth dust of the universe is
inspired by the breath of the great
God. The world is trimming with
life; every leaf on every tree is . land
of spirits.-.Je0n Paul.
IT was said by gunmaker that if
breech-loaders have abolished the ram
rod, they have, on the other hand,
proved great advantage to the MIN
rod.
A HOUSEWIFE in England in filing ND
her schedule for the census paper, de-
scribed herself as the "head of the
family :" while in respect to the trade
of her husband she wrote: 'sHe turns
my mangle."
HATE anything that occupies more
space than 1t is worth. l hate to see q
load of brand-boxes 60 along the street,
and hate to see parcel of big words
without anything in them.-Hdzlin.
ALTHOUGH men are accused of not
knowing their own weakness, yet, per-
haps, as few know their own strength.
1t is in men as in soils, where some
times there is vein of gold which the
owner knows not of.-!StOitt.
You say, said Judge to witness,
that the plaintiff resorted to . very in
genious use of circumstantial evidence:
state just exactly what you mean by
that Well, said the witness, my exact
meaning is that he lied. =.
WHY do they call the people that
live in some of the South Sea islands
| cannibalss asked an old man of = sail-
OR. Because they live on other people,
answered the,,sailor. Then, said. tile cid
man, pensively, my sons-in-law must
be cannibals, for they live on me.
MEMS lives should be like the day,
more beautiful in the evening; or like
summer, -aglow with promise like
the autumn,-rich with golden sheaves,
where good works and deeds have
ripened in the field.
"E1MA,'' said a little girl to her
schoofmate, wouldn't it be avfultif
someby would shoot our schoolmis-
tress?" EYES," was the reply, tbut
then wouldn't it be nice, not to have
any school2' -. ...r..s;
Coop men demand constant friction
apd tu are eet t, gSeaes se
good need !. to SEQ the prize they aim
at shining like star on the bosom OF
u VCAy ph4p6Olc u1IAucSo-
:: "WHAr is that, tchildren2 askel>a
young pastor, exhibiting to his Sunday
School magic lantern picture Of q
poor sinner cinging TO a cross tower
INK out of tHDrny wavea,in 1.id-oonan.
!. . Robinson Crusoe"~ was the instant
reply: -, ''ss
TEACHER "John, You young scape-
grace, come here, and III pa1 You
back. for your impudenoe; 70 me yeeter-
day." Pupil :, s.No, thank you. 1
have conscientious scrupies against
taking back-pay of that sort." H
A boy who was called up by his
teacher for giving sehool-mate .
black eye, pleaded that he only threw
bit of water at him, but on being
pressed in the cross-examipation, he
at last admitted that the water was
frozen.
Ne NAN or woman was ever cured of
love by discovering the falsity OF his or
her lover The living together for three
long, rainy days in the country. kae
done more to dispel love. than all the
perfillies in love chat have ever been
committeth-Hekps. - / 'sH:z- 9:s
A LITTLE three gear old girl, who did
not want to kiss the family goodnight,
but was obliged to do it, "as means
of discipline, went through the per-
Torrance conscientiously, and as she
kissed the last one she heaved Sigh Of
relief and exclaimed: "Amen ~
Wear your learning, like your watch,
in a private pocket, and do rot pull it
out and strike it, merely to show that
you got one. If you are asked what
O'Clock it is, tell it, but not proclaim it
hourly and unasked, like the watch
man.-Chesterfeld.
"JonNSY," said a mother to her
hopeful son as she WAS reading to him
of Pocahontas in the history of Viz.
ginia, do You know who Pocahontas
was?" Yes, MOTHER" said the lad,
whose thoughts were upon the mare
that trotted half mile in LON, "ste
was fast trotter."
A MAN sought to annoy boy whom
he fouAI at work by the road side, and
finally asked him who his father and
mother were, to which the boy replied:
They. are the parents of a son who
knows how to practice tie wise precept
of King Solomon, by answering feol
according to his folly"
A scHoo1-BoY having to write a COM
position on Pins" Pbduced the fol-
lowing: %<Pius are pointed aud useful.