, 1873-05-04

she really hopes she can turn tl,at walking
she "ore last fall, and save the expense Of 0
new suit, and then asks you II you can't just
h do hsa and aHSp sa9g as nR 9s byp @ g
Then she gets saucer for the tacks,
and stands and holds it,. and you get
the claw, end get down on your hnces end
about the first three tacks, and tako them out
carefully. md put them in the saucer. Your
wife is good about holding the saucer, and be-
guiles you With an interesting story about how
your neighbours little boy is not expected to lire
Then you como to the tack with crooked
head, and you get the claw under it and the
head comes of, and tho leather comes of, and
tho carpet comes of, and as it won't do to leave
the tack IN the floor, because it will tear tho
work and skin your knuckle, and got silver
under your thunb-nai1, and tell your wife to
shut up about that everlasting boy, and make
up your mind that it does not mako any differ
ence about that tack, and so you begin on tho
corner whore tho a1pet is doubled two or three
times, and has been nailed down with ahingle
nail. You don't care continental about saving
the nail, because you find that it is not good
time for the practice Of economy; but you do
feel . httlc hurt when both clauses break Off
Ihcn your manhood asserts itself, and you rise
in your might, and throw the carpet claw at the
dog, and get hold OF tho carpet with both hands,
and the mir is full Of dust and flying
yarn all along by the mop-boa1d, and tho baby
cries, and the cat goes anywhere, anywhere out
of tho world, and your wife says you ought to
DO ashamed Of yourself to talk SO, - but TINT
carpet comss up
Then you lift one side Of the stove, and your
wife tries to get the carpet from under it, but
can't, because you are standing On it. 80 you
try new hold, and just after your back breaks,
the carpet is clear. You aro not through yet.
Your wife don't tell you any more little stories,
but ehe got6 your old coat and hangs it on you,
and smothers you with the carpet, and opons
tho back door and shoves you out, and init
mates that the carpet needs whipping. When
you hang the tormenting thing across the
clothes-lins The the w1ong way, and get It righteat
up again, aud get haH pint of dust ana threo
broken tracks snapped out Of the northwest cor
ner into your mouth by tho wind you make
some osesSvation which you neglected to men,
ton whi1o in the house. Then you hunt up
hides the sun and all tho fair face of Nature
behind cloud OF dust, aud right in the centre
of that cloud, with tho wind square in your face,
no matter how you stand, you wield that cudgel
until both hands orc bllsterod and tho milk OF
human kindness curdles in your bosom. .
You can whip the carpet longer or shorter
period, according to the size OF your mad; it
don't make any difference to the carpet, it is
Just as dusty, and fuzzy, and generally Disagree
able after you have whipped it two hours as it
it up, with one corner dragging, and stumble
into tho house, and have more trouble with the
stove, and fail to find any way Of using the car
while you stand on the carpet, and
fail to find my place to stand OF from the car-
pet, and you get on your knees again, while your
Tifo holds tho saucer, and with.b1ind confidence
hands you broken tacks, crooked tacks, tacks
with no points, taoks with no heads, tacks with
no feathers, tacks with the biggest end At the
point.
Finally the carpet is down, and the baby comes
back, and the est comes back, and the dog comes
back, and your wife smiles sWeetly, and SAYS she
glad that job is OF her mind. As it ia too late to
DO anything else, you sit by the FIRE and smoke,
with the inner consciousness that you nre tho |
man in America. Tho next day you
hear your wife tell friend that abe is so tired
she took up and put down that great heavy car
pet Yesterday.