The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-08-16
BUDGET OF FUN.


before the majestic answer: who wants to
catch ycIr trout>' | only want to drown
his worm
Just as soon as Train and Sergeant Bates
rot quiet, Lord Gordon had to go into Il state
of eruption.
Pat says the toad's spotted skin is account
ed for by his being q "leper.'
A well-drcsscd dog wears collar, and
pants in the summer.
George W. Mack, Of South Bend, used his
shocmakcr's strap on his wife, who, after he
left the house, packed up the household goods
and took a train for the east. When Mr. Mack
went to dinner he was informed by placard
that his domici was for rent.
An Alabama lawyer defending murderer,
smoke nineteen consecutive hours and the
iury convicted his client in seven minutes
Fast young men declare that the beauty of
an ocean voyage is that you can get as tight
as you please, and people think you are only
sea siCk.n
4 Sioux Chief, after following Il surveying
party on the Northern Pacific for some days,
mildly remarked that they might go on, for
he'd be id if he'd freeze to death for what
hair there was in that party.
,,r,,I,o,.,,,,, l,oo,, ,,.,,i,toJ Ia,
jury OF the charge Of numbering ms WIG,
turned 10 Ihch WIN the rchaih' bofS, i
'ccNo" can s'''lo inc SOU" water Va '''"''
The Parsons Kan Hclu2d records a suit
for breach of promise, and says the plalntlh
wants the jury to award her $4,000 back
pay
y i'ochc' tp man ny "Iuilh ~ al, "ii'! an
"IE"' "llh 9o'o !" ms i'o'ES', ~ - r my
iiteTI.Ss'H9 =" "''" Ii'"' "'' l''N'''N''' '''>'
''I''il hho" It,
T,,o ,Io1.o,,, r,,,l;,,, l,",,.o. of Rri,isb rol
umIi, ,,hn q fnvv vnors oro ,vouId yo,r
i,otnIhE n"l Shit'' nave recently ~, WIHcal''cu
we 'rauluoh o. 'tcIl ''hCt''"'S' lhey no"
VII l wear ho'h'hg o"'" pug nat anu neck
'V'
Ooalan Il. Dodge OF st. tauI singer Ehl'or'
,cal estate agent, pocI ana general Dio"cI i"r
Minnesota, ana an thc Wofid ana Inc rest OF
mankind Is a naive OF me OIallleicsS Guy OF
NcFEGhheS ana inc Nt'3c.hG' people lhSlh
Of it.
me halre4 youlh wa? recently hear9 TO
remark tha' thiS TRANSACTION commenced rs
Joke nu' now III goihG 10 SVe"' 'llaI man
cat OF 'l' III inc "''ci'p"
Nnvourco ho. had p ,,ooJon ,,.o Linn
Henry Block was married To Amanda Board.
II was pam "n;'lF'
r,,,,,.,,,,o ;o, o,, ,,1,i,,,., ,,. ,,,.
10 all policies on Mansard roofs That won't
Ntop tne slyle th"uGh 1t Will chahgc me name
81 D"llulhS 'hein'
When n crowd ofjayhaW kers started dis,
turbancc IN Texas church, the other day,
me preacher raised up Il shotgun ana sald
painful for YOU" William sat down, and
was as quiet as a lamb.
Ocean shells don't murmur. 4 New York
man says that it is only such sound as one
can hear by placing the mouth Of Jug to his
Ayoung farmers wife made her first boys
pants as full before as bchind the father
whether he's going to school or coming
home"
The late ,Tobn Van Burcn once wbor fray
elmo on one If orr North River steamers
,skcd his f,end,s friend to ioin in = drink
PIoDa1ly sounMalet. me Liiai. sa'u ne p Ia"
~; J' 'I5c IL VI al .'t,'T.,uC,ion n"
I S.!n, l l. ! i'''' 'o""' 70" "''"" '"o"4" 10
''rl"N'
ira;gh u" I ,nI S''."i'cr % ,i nHru .S
TihIru ay Il ne Hit" any o''II''lIs l"I l'I'erS'
lie hau'
Uoholon oditor hoinr cbaI,onool sent
,nrd i, r,iI'. Whnn 7ro.t - 10 can
shoot myself
,C,o, 1-5c Wow, I1or,n.Iiro ,,,,.l,,, l,,s
s,,rtcJ II. ronnds AGAIN The Snrora LJsraJ
Las cot i his time
peonIe who are ALWAYS wishfn,, for some
rhinr new .hould FRY atgrg10i1 once,
A hen at Seward laid an egg seven inches !
in circumference, and then, her ambition !