, 1873-05-04
HUHOR.

| L1J5te11ois cOnla6r1t1on. Il
T. HUMoR. !:
The Indian Question:" White man go.s;y
rum ?" !:
Why is lady crossing tho Atlantic uso i
foreman OF factory? Because ahs's IN q;
Hea-her. y
Advertising does pay. 4 Hampshire Co::a
(aIass.) farmer, who has Advertised his Il:
claims to have fod out 100 barral5 OF OATS to:
horses Of persons Who have been to seq
place. I
Tho phenomenon on the New York TT
says opproyingly Of 4 thief who stole poE:
from the Soldiers Home, in Madison. Wis: Z
all tho hons thea aimest at be thy country &. !,
a little lady in Schenectady recently =
word to her aged ?. in New York that sho 4:
be excused from writing O longer Letter !
a Chinese Servant Was brought homo BY !
gentleman Of the house, and his mistress .nt:
i ed his nanle II Yung Hoo Win" Oh, i:
she, ~ cannot call you TINT, will c.ll;:
Charley" What's your mama ?" he a5ac'.
return. :" by nane is Alrs. John Br,w:lit !:
| tial. ::
| "A sentimental young man thus feeling1y,.
presses himself: .Eren Nature beneyo:e
! guards the rose With thorns: does sao en
women with pins ?"
The new dictionary will define delirium:: ):
|
-Quin's sitter thought was happy one. nj
after telling Lady Berkeley she looked es b','
| ing as the sp-ias;, he remembered the SEA
| WAS anything but bright one, and ad1o3 :.
wish the spring 'could look like your ladysliE$
| AT late Conference session 3 ciazgyr.
gave . reason why tho Baptist Church ia tiii
Beavers hut ts There is only one entrance !,
and that is under water" =
"A local paper WATTS it's fair readers that :
sidewalks in Omaha abound in holee tho =
Of lady's foot" and in another COLUMN rcco.
that boy years old foil into one OF them ::
| other day. :"
This motto stands at the head OF the Alb :
| (Ga-) Neaos: =.
It Ia n5t rank, nor birth, nor state,
But the get-up-and-get, that makes men greet.
The Australians never sue for Giyo:
When O husband gets discouraged. he takc5
wife to the brow Of 4 clitT to view tho gorge
sunset, and over she goes. =:
"A retired sea Captain, who had uado
tour OF continental Europe and tho Holy L.:
Was asked hov he Was impressed BY his viai'.
Jerusalem. "Jerusalom," said he, ais
meancst place ever visited! Thoro i. Nc
drop Of liquor in the whole town fit to drink
"A young poet once asked Douglass Je1c1.
tions. Jerrold waited rather impatiently u:
his tormontor had concluded reading tho &!
poem, and then quickly exclaimed, II like =
other poem the best" But you havo not nc
it read" "That is why prefer it,"
An inquirer after scientific information:
Concord, n. H., recently asked an apothect
"What is this now disease-this Carro-Go1:s
final -Macginnie-the papers say 80 much abou :
"A Kansas district school was recently EisI
and addressed by Messrs. Big Mouth, Pow
Face, and Spotted Wol{-a1l tie noblest kind
noble red men. A mischieyous school +,
placed pin tap whore Big Mouth sat do.
and that chieftain was observed to rise has ::
and remark "Ugh! too much fee bite. he:
stay to hear class in Analytical Geology" III
he loft. Z
Useful E1stur [to Ornamental SISTER, who
been bewailing tho dullness Of her existence r.
last hour =" Bella, you're the mos1 3,' % egotlzt:
always gets out everything with a toEe)-'' "
Jane, Il am egotistical, at all events It's O. ::
about myself!" J
Recently o minister concluded Ii1 serr
as follows ' But I hear the xustling 0. silks
the pews, as if some OF tho ladies' we're inpati:s
| 10 leave I will, therefore, say God bless you
"A young lady Of this city was recently str1
| with the uselessncss OF hor life, and itame.
ate1y went to work with vigor to learn plain ST.
| ing. At latest dates she had hemmed one aide.
| a towel, which the proud parents laTe fran:
1ors.-Ne,o York 1fdI. i
An Oregon paper refers to new editor O
rival aheet as . "young gentleman Of fru.'.
mental capacity" :.
The New Hampshire youth who sent his {
lar ior wonderful alscovery 1or enIlclns !.
20 plte. Iece1'eo ~ lesu1n HaA uIhoet"pu r,
resentlng an ancient naneinan u Ne asieep on -
"1tn tne sInpio "9lu EaaeHce lila ~ la1Ho Hts
upon !, Lis nat. onoelneatn' fnty tnousa I
eoia.
+-1no othsr moI11ne, toterap!y ven aIess {
nus mno-esea, gentleman M m:a caaea a. mayor .aac:
10y W one ssue, N Iue c'ey ooofttuo1n, aua ::
ne p 1u, wanted sonethnR % oone w1sn n;n ms W;
.trh mn11 Luz 9ae'ei ;,1a nnaullou n.s non
o1e Aoeps etsmG ne gl15, NE tne 1opiT' ::
~ !. !; s;a ~" ~ ~, sau Lin oo -
aolp -, say snH ~ ~ 1 na7ua sno ~
81, 1ln > - a; .;s T9en he tn IL 1, ;od msf
~, 9NAs D. - a5o;t 1870 +h,1ht - -. 1,;:x
s"aEo s.aa nIs, - A0~A ''Aooso' "
opo't1 1ue a1ei - -. ~ r-,.,,uu 1D;,,,o-a. /:
oLa1a - 1uM 49, ~ ~ 81,
O1!9lo I3 VIII sue n@ss' uaa.5 t.u.
u .ne tae1, sen. W ~ tue cto. -. ao"se,s
.aae - ~ 49, 10 at sLa y. s - ~ Gn.-5a s;t1
seiees ~ ,uo 11tetn y. nuo au', 49, ".'a
% LUZ: 8; ae.,s ao5.1 naps -a,, 1870
tri;ais na,om. ~ 5uul s .ssWwo dn,t j
ra1t -1,reas -r;tht,,t 10 ,e.s, :,
TX Trsnai. i.d;sa ~aro ,oo.;nr ~, t1,o +
+,o 5anohtor ~ aao ~ ~ +hero ~ or6nn ~ h,
sto n wv ~, ~ ~. -; ~ -. 49, tha ~
- ~ ee ~ ~ 1ao.-;,,er ~. ~ +.
.a u sue !, ;nosu. e. sn w. ~ III .1,i,1E
i1is's1,,- - 10 .sJ7 ~ G.,J =
ap;id 49," hast =, 4hst Is." A. ~ nvee1fx:
th;Ni ~ In1s 49,, .Ies ~, .no- ~ - -. =:
tnlnk I'll oo'..,' ~ ,sm1 DA 1nAo. oH zs uo ~ -
4OAAbs LA6As oA3 r. ALUM eAO noAUE4 hANl