The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-08-27
MISCELLANY.

Il
A woman's alment-The stitch.
Which goes the quickest full minute o
a spare noment9
Let takers talk stick thou to what is best,
To think Of pleasing all Il all a jest
Romantic deatl--A young lady drowned in
tears.
Is stealing a march . worse then :" taking
walk
An intellectual feast-The entertainment OF
an idea.
Women should study to be smart out
never shrew-ed.
4 sboe-dealer adyertises "woman's Rights
and Lefts."
How can man see the point of joke
when he IL the butt?
Riches like insects when concealed they lie,
Waiting but for their wings, and in their season, n.y.
Breach of good manners--for rain to stare
you in the face.
When is a fire like a bad husband when
it goes out at night.
Woman's glory is in her hair, but it Is good
plan to tie it up when cooking.
Those who live on the failings of their neigh
bors never die Of starvation.
Men of wit have not always the clearest
Judgment or the deepest reason.
The passionate are like men standing on
their heads they see all things the wrong
way.
A true friend eases many troubles, whereas
one who is not 80 multiplies and increases
them.
There are S12 paper mills in the United
States, which last year turned out 81, 1887
tons of paper.
stone coffin, said to be Roman, was late
" dug up near the Old Bailey, the famous
London Jail.
When he of whom we speak, and he who
speaks, do not understand, that is metaphys-
ics.-[voltaire.
That gave that have
That left, that lost.
What kind Of drum is that which Is al
WAYS the best when it cannot be beat P
conundrum.
1sHave You heard my last speech p asked
a haranguer of a wit. II sincerely hope so, y
was the reply.
The ladies find fault with the new postal
cards because there isn't room enough on
them for a postscript.
Earthly prosperity is no more an infallible
sign of Gods favor than temporal suffering Is
proof of the divine wrath.
In the long run tried and proved character
for TRUTH honor, and honesty is the best CAPT
tai and gives the largest interest.
"He is dead, but he pays just as well as he
ever did, was the reply newspaper publish
or received to dunning letter.
The smallest baby exhibited at the San
Francisco baby show weighed two pounds and
half 1t Is nearly four months old.
A dandy asked BARRIERS boy if he had ever
lad, but If you win take seat, I'll try"
Bible promises are like the beams of the
sun, which shine AS freely in at the window Of
the poor mans cottage as at the rich mans
palace.
"Among all my boys said an old man.
a / never had but one boy who took after me
and that was my son Aaron, he took after mt
with club
An Irishman having been told that the
price of bread had been lowered, exclaimed
fall of my best friend
Let conquerors boast
Their fields OF fame; he, who In virtue, arms
A young, warm spirit against feautys charms,
Who feels her brightness, yet dehes her thra'i,
Is the best bravest conqueror OF them ALL
That man is rich who has good disposition
who is naturally kind, patient, cheerful,
hopeful, and who has flavor of wit and fun
in his composition.
Scientists are claiming that instead of being
cold, the moon is in reality red-hot SO much
so that no living thing known to our world
could exist there. This spoils the green
cheese theory.
He's on his guard, who knows his enemy;
And innocence may safely thrust her shield
Against open foe but who's mailed
That SANDER shall not reach him Coward calumny
Stabs In the dark.
When crowd of Texas jayhawkers started
disturbance in Texas church the other
day, the preacher raised a shot gun and said
civilian Dello sit down, or I'll make it
painful for you." William sat down and was
as quiet as lamb.
The extensive nature of scandal Is told by
the poet thus : 1.-THE flying rumors gather
as they roll; scarce any tale was sooner heard
than told, and all that heard it made enlarge
ments too--on every ear it spread-on every
tongue it grew"
Think'st thou there serpents in the world,
But those which slide along the grassy sod
And sting the luckless foot that presses them?
There are, who, In the path of socialiife,
do bask their spotted skins in Fortunes sun,
And sting the soul ny till the heathful frame
Is changd to secret, fostering, sore disease,
SO deadly Is the poison.
An Illinois county clerk refused to issue
marriage license because the man was only