davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
4 Peculiar Practical Joker.

Of existing practical jokers, perhaps
the most remarkable is a French must
clan. If he has not arrived at the proud
pinnacle only attained by Hook, it may
be because opportunity is wanting, or
such things are hardly regarded in the
same innocent light as they were thirty or
forty years ago, and are punishable
offenses. BY profession French horn
player, whether his jokes are used as a
method of r6cldme or not, we do not care
to determine about. AS an artist he
stands without a rival. On his instru-
ment he possesses an dmpEe1T, pureness
of sound, degree of feeling, a power OF
executing, which are unsurpassed. lie
has even accomplished the impossible on
this difficult instrument, playing dis
tinct first and second, or an accOmpanl-
ment, all at the same time. Bat even the
wonderful musical attalnments he pos
sesses are subseryient to his practical
Jokes Playing every known instrument
with wonderful skill, true Bohemian, he
has been known to delight public fair,
followed by an attendant IN a cart, IN
which was a piano and stock OF lnstru-
ments, and to playOn each one IN turn, only
that instead of receiving money from the
crowd, he would distribute 1t after the
performance Of course tins brought
such a thrOng that all the booths were de-
serted and the business of the fair had to
he discontinued until the gratuit0us mu-
siciau was removed. Going to London
some wears ago, he became such NUS
anee that the guardians OF the peace were
only clad when his musical engagements
were over, and he left for France. A
favorite amusement of his was to leave
his lodging with dressing-case III his
hand, and, going to a cab station, to
select certain venice. Ue'IlilS
inside. he would direct cabby to
drive to some public square, selecting one
Of the most thronged in London. Having
arrived there he would order halt, and
request the coachman to block the wheels
Inside the cab our practical joker would
fake off his coat, put on robe oe ch&h-
hre and then proceed to unpack his dress
mo case. A small mirror would be hung
to fhe carriage windows, and on the seats
would he arranged all the articles neces-
sarv for a most luxurious shave. Calmly
unconscious of the first two or three niue
hovs who were watching the operation,
somewhat amazed at seeing mans lace
covered with lather, gazing at them III
most undisturbed manner, this tiny huc
cleus would very soon form the center OF
a large crowd. Certainly from the DEMO
crate movements of the gentleman III lhe
cab nothing but the most perfect sna1s
would satisfy him. The asSehoiase "ooi'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
"Truth Stranger Than Fiction"

THE Milwaukee Necs tells the follow
ing singular story:
"a gentleman residing on the South
Side, and for many years resident OF
Milwaukee, is in daily expectation of the
arrival of an aunt on short visit, the
history of whose later years surpasses
anything in fiction. She was born and
reared in New England, and has lived
there all her lifetime, being now past 60
years Of age. She married in early life
Captain Knight,'a seafaring man, and bore
him sons and daughters, several of whom
are living, married and comfortably
settled. About sixteen years ago her hus-
band sailed on his final voyage to Cuba,
and no word from him, his vessel or crew,
has ever been received since. The ship
undoubtedly foundered and carried down
all on board. Mrs Knight struggled on a
few years, reared her children, who re-
manned home al the time of her misfor-
| tune, and, in doing so, exhausted the last
remnant OF property left by her husband,
and finally broke down in health under
the accumulated weight of years, mis-
fortune and poverty. Her youngest son,
Just married, furnished her a home for a
short time, and then refused to shelter her
longer. Her other children each in turn
declined to burden themselves with
mothers support or to do anything to-
ward procuring her home. She finally
came on the town as a pauper, and was
knocked off to the lowest bidder for her
support, and was for several years q
poor old brOken-hearted creature, unable
to more than knit stockings and assist in
tending children Previous to becoming
so utterly destitute, she had sold OFT her
furniture, piece at time, to keep the
wolf from the door," and among other
articles, sold her husbands old secretary
to a tOwnsman and acquaintance. He
used it few years, and then knocked it
to pieces as rubbish. In doing this, he
found in a secret drawer paid-up insur
ance on Captain Knights life for $4,000
Being an honest man, and knowing Mrs
Knights location and restitution, he
hunted her up, took her to Hartford, and
she actually procured the payment of the
entire sum. The officers OF the company
informed her that her husband paid 500
as advanced premium just before sailing,
and that they had long been waiting for
the presentation of the policy for payment
Her graceless children were not long in
hearing Of ''mOther's" good fortune, and
have been vieing with each other ever
since in kind attentions to the old lady,
and pressing her to come and live with
them, and make their houses her home,
etc, etc. She has sense enough, however,
to take such professions for what they are
worth, and has resolved to maintain her
independence to the end OF her days. The
name Of Mrs. Knights nephew Is known
to all old settlers in the Eighth Ward, and
is at the service of any one who doubts
this statement
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

squirted the water all over Deacon Bur
chell, who happened to be going by ON
the nearest sidewalk Then the Deacon
set up yell like nitro-g lycerine explo-
sion, and the father came out of his house
and went for that boy, and the four-year-
old calmly turned the hose full upon the
author of his being, and that man almost
Immediately became wetter than the
author of anybody's being has been since
the days of Noah. The water struck his
clean shirt-bosom and meandered silently
but speedily down into his boot-legs, and
the pockets of his new summer suit filled
up, and the hair oil all came out of his
head and ran down the back Of his neck,
and the only thing about him that was not
cool was the words that came out of his
mouth. He is now dry, but that four
year-old received lesson in logic last
evening, with illustrations in the argu-
ment posterior5, which he will remem-
Der until he has reached the age of A.
Danbury Neaos.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
A Heroine.

ASIAN evidence that the qualities of nerve
and downright pluck are not confined ex-
clusively to the heroic men of creation,
there is here offered a narration of a cir
cumstance wherein a young girl bore
herself bravely under such trying circum-
stances as would have severely tested the
most logged determination ever shown
by the average genus homo. On Sunday
last this young lady was at church, when,
during the delivery of the sermon, she
suddenly became aware that something of
a crawling nature was making an eXpedi-
tiOus journey up her leg. Startled, as
may well be believed, she was for the
nOnce bereft of the power Of action, and
there forthwith chased each other through
her mind extremely lively and fearful APP
prehensions touching snakes, rats and a
host of disgusting creatures, but with a
determined effort she recovered her pres
ence Of mind, and by the time the thing
had got a short distance above her knee
she clutched it, through her dress, with a
vise-like grip, and held on like grim
death Since the first revelation of the
distressing circumstance, she had not
uttered a sound, nor indeed given any
outward sign of the mental torture which
she must have suffered, but sat rigid and
composed, firmly graspng that "horrible
thing" which she knew was some living
creature when, upon being clutched, it
gave forth squealing sound. For full
three-quarters of an hour the girl sat
there, as composedly as ever, still retaining
her hold to the close of the service, when
she departed homewards, never relaxing
her grip until reaching home, when, Civ
ing hurried explanations to her mother,
she tainted dead away.
A quick examination by la mere re-
vealed the presence of a rat, as dead as a
door nail, as the cause of the unhappy
adventure, which, for lively interest, and
the revealing of remarkable spirit in
the mind of a young girl, is not often
matched in this latter day.-Neeo Orleans
Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

YESTERDAY Park street man thought he
would use his gardenhose. In fact, this
is a thought which strikes him regularly
three times a day, and his neighbors reck-
on he has lowered the Leicester Reservoir
eleven inches himself, since April 1st. So
he cot his hose and screwed 1t together,
and put piece of paper around the pipe
to keep it from leaking, and Bridget turn
ed on the water for him, and as he squirt
ed away calmly at a post on the opposite
side of the street, a gratified smile rose on
his manly features, like the glow of a
pumpkin pie just out of the oven. And
he didn't wet himself much either,-only
one boot, and his false wristbands. By
and by his wife called him in to supper,
and he left his hose squirting over the
lawn so as not to lose any time, and went
right in. His four-year-old son stayed
behind and took up the hose and began to
play at that post across the street, and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
An Admirable Remedy.

THE Governor of prison in Corn
wall, England, has discovered an admira-
bic remedy to cure tramps and Migrants,
in casual wards and prisons, of the habit
of expressing their profound grief at the
Bullets of fate by rending their garments,
thus placing society in ridiculous posi-
ton by compelling it to provide them
with new wardrObes at the very moment
when it is least inclined to bestow upon
them any mark of its favor. When he
finds prisoner huddled up in the corner
of his cell, covered only with the cell rug,
and his clothes lying in heap of torn
rags at his feet, he sends for a needle and
thread, which he gives to the clothes-de-
stroyer, informing him, at the same time,
that he will he fed on bread and water
until he has thoroughly reconstructed his
garments. This cure has been found to
work wonders, for long before the time
allowed by law for bread and water diet
expires, the clothes are mended with mar
velous skill, ard the intelligence of the
hardship thus inflicted being conveyed by
tramps, on leaving the prison, to their
friends and acquaintance, not only in
duces them to resist the temptation OF
tearing up their clothes when they are
sheltered beneath its roof, but leads many
OF them to avoid confinement altogether
IN an establishment where they are ex-
posed to such ngentlemanlike treatment.
THE chiidren's favorite liquor--Liquor'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
A SOciable Incident.

A MAN named Gilsey, who, by strict
economy and severe industry, has sue
ceeded in getting his family little place,
free of incumbrance, was fishing in Still
River, near the Beaver Brook mills, on
Sunday afternoon. After sitting on the
bank for a couple of hours, without catch
ing anything, he was gratified to see, on a
flat stone in the water, snapplng-turtle
summing itself The buttend of the turtle
was toward him, and he thought he
would capture it, bat while he was look
ing for place to step, the turtle
gravely turned around without his know
ledge, and when he got in reaching dis
lance, and bent down to take hold Of
what nature designed should be taken
he of while handling a swapping turtle
that sociable animal just reached out and
took hold of Mr.. Gilsey's hand with a
grasp that left no doubt Of its sincerity.
The shrieks of the unfortunate man
aroused some of the neighbors, but when
they arrived it was too late to be Of any
benefit to him, or even to themselves, for
they just caught glimpse of a bare
headed man tearing over the hill, swing
ing small carpet bag in one hand, and
they at once concluded it was a narrow
escape from highway robbery. However,
1t was not carpet-bag he was swinging;
it was that turtle, and it chung to him I'M
til he reached the White-st bridge, when
it let 60; but the frightened man did not
slacken his gait until he got home.
When he reached the house, the ludi-
crousness Of the affair burst upon him,
and when his wife looked at his pale
face and bare head, and dustbegrimmed
clothes, and asked him what was the
matter, he said, Nothing was the mat
ter, only he was afraid he would be to
late for church, " and appeared to be
much relieved to find that he wasn't
Dnnb7irH Mems
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
Dentistry in China.

DR.. WILLIAM G. EAsTLACK, a practic-
ing dentist Of Shanghai, China, made a
professional visit with the Drs. Taft of
the Land OF Flowers" to the East and
England. Or. Eastlack has been practic-
ing dentistry for the last fifteen years in
China, but says that, with the exception
of few persons of rank and distinction
who sought his services, the Celestials -
have no understanding nor appreciation
for dentistry.
The native dentists are the merest char
latans, and practice as magicians and
cure-alls. They insert artificial teeth filled
out Of cubes of the teeth of the sea-horse,
which are kept in place by copper-wire
Wrappings or tastenings to the adjacent
natural teeth, and charge about three
cents per tooth for the operation
Teeth are extracted by a hocus-pocus
process which the dental impostor calls
3" coughing up" The method of extrac-
ton is this: The dentist applies to the
gums of the troublesome tooth a white
powder, represented to be salt extracted
from the sweat of horse. Dr. Eastlack
found this white powder to be nothing
| more or less than arsenic, which causes
the gums to slough, when the tooth is
easily removed by the operators fingers.
But the Chinese method of curing tooth
ache was what puzzled him MT and
| longest defied detection. The operations,
it should have been stated, are all per
formed in a temple or in the space in
front, under a large umbrella, the idea
being that religious ceremony is in
some way connected with them.
Toothache is caused by a maggot
which gets into the tooth some how or
other while the patient is asleep, or while
he is laughing imm0dcrately. 1t must be
removed alive, or the patient will go mad.
He is, therefore, placed on seat and his
head thrown back. The dentist inserts a
long pair of forceps, and after fumbling
| around for few seconds, produces be-
tween the nippers a little wriggling black
maggot-the cause of the whole trouble
DR.. Eastlack witnessed this operation re-
peatedly, but it was only after obtaining
surreptitious possession of the forceps
| that he discovered the trick. He found
! that one arm of the forceps only was of
iron; the other was of bamboo, painted to
resemble the other In the hollow of the
| bamboo were found number Of little
black maggOts, probably obtained from
decayed vegetables or other decOmpOsing
matter. When necessary to do service
the operator simply squeezed the bamboo
above and maggot was elected from the
small end of the instrument to the mouth,
and then adroitly taken between the nip
pers and held up triumphantly before the
gaze of the astonished and grateful
! patient. DR.. Eastlack could never satisfy
himself on the point Of the patients re-
| lief The operations he witnessed were
dispatched with astonishing rapidity, and
the patients hurried away as if that part
Of the performance was essential to the
success of the Cjncinnotj Com
| YUe5,cI0}
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

A BEAUTIFUL specimen of official f1del
ity to trust occurred at Lancaster, Pa,
recently: The mails of that city We're
conveyed to the depot in the evening, and
left unmatched upon a railroad truck ;
while the officer having them in charge
was busy here and there. two mail bags
disappeared and were found in the streets,
minus the money that vas in them, next
day.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

ONE of the great points in keeping
horses in good health and condition IS
regular feeding and good care, being care
full, after a sharp, hard drive, especially IL
there has been exposure to wet ana cold,
to blanket warmly-antlclpate anu ioon
for chill or being off OF food.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

THE Oshkosh Northeastern learns that
prairie chickens are very plenty this sea
son, more so than in several years in some
localities. The probabilities are that the
ducks will also BE- extraordinarily plenti-
full and the hunters may expect some
huge sport when shooting-time comes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

THE last number OF La France Medscale
contains paper on the best means of cor
rectipg the bitter in medicines The
value Of sugar as an agent is generally con
coded On the other hand, the infusion
of gentian is extremely disagreeable, while
the syrup may be readily taken, provided
the action of the sugar is not enfeebled by
the addition Of water The one known
substance which in the highest degree
possesses the property of muffling bitter
is glycyrrhizine, the sweet principle OF
the icorice root. If, after taking qulnlne,
colocynth, aloes, quassia, or other bitter
medicine, a piece of licorice root be
taken, the bitter taste disappears as if by
magic
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

SIR JOHN LUBBOCK, in a recent paper in
Nature, describes the birth of a May-fly
from full grown larva, which, having
observed it to be in glistening condition,
he caught and put under the microscope
in drop Of water. Very few moments
had elapsed when he had the satisfaction
ofseeing the thorax open along the mid
die of the neck, the two sides turned
over, the insect literally walked out of it
self, unfOlded its wings, and in an instant
flew up to the window Several times
since he has witnessed this wonderful
metamorphosis, and it is extraordinary
how rapidly it takes place. From the
moment when the skin first cracks, not
ten seconds are over before the insect has
flown away. Like the ephemer9,. dragon
flies, at first dull, brown, sluggish, and
ugly larvae, with six legs, are developed
in water. Not so the ant lion, which
passes its early days in dry sand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04
rfyNICH TINE.

| .lce a more pleasant re-
rT,b Observatory appears
\ sumner morning.
|. SAINT aspect, however,
[7o.ins it is decidedly a
| At the very entrance
suddenly convicted of the
ra-.ace Here are myster-
H. 4r.i0n the wall for the
n If British measurements,
-a-once arises, What have
III a,.onomy? Then there
| kf., on which the hours
nn ne 10 twenty-four, and
-.v believed to be kept
,gn
clear the way as he goes
! makes these outer difficult
of his first inquiries on
n-- and he discovers to
that theyery length Of his
cut Of his coat and the
Bat nave all been determin-
nrnts based upon the mo-
genly bodies.
ard measure, it appears,
proportion to the length Of
Itch, under specified c0ndi-
rate seconds OF time, and
b. are determined by astro-
rl10l. If the tailor wishes
nagre he has only to bring
1uay gate, where he will
b. Absolutely accurate. As
an astronomers clock,
alow nothing of a. m
l.- calculations are SUtfic-
4tei without them. The
Kept going by the sun is,
said, a mere deIusion.
outer portal of the OBJ
s.or finds himself in an
With an irregular pile of
LEFT hand. Entering a
2e Of these, he is at once
sever that he is really at
Considered the fountain
l2ga,ions Of time. The
4 G-eenwich, as all the
e.. Us the time of day,
MILL and somewhat mean
IS the great telescope
4-l1S for this purpose
the transit circle as it
els twelve feet in
-.ass is eight inches
'2ended by the mid
Nye stone buttresses
S 70 permit of its
Straight line over
~ be veered round to
Is suppose, a little
~ + ABOUT to cross the
-'yation is to be
roof are thrown
Pc Is swung up and
an observer seats
lof it. While we
!. urinary, let us
instrument. All
lumber of vertical
a.. wires, though
tng pieces of cob
lie field of obser-
-lges The center
meridian of Green
:. /, fepresents it, and
.liat from this cen
Utilized nations, and
'-'#a world, are reck-
'al' this little piece
a., " all that divides
EAU western hn,,,;
.as along the tcle-
Of lnnumerable
,s.-I .Ae still summer
1.-A that for once at
ane If not, then
,. Il. The Greenwich
position which is
q, our traditional
r.. inquiry, it is gra t.
'".,- mp Greenwich
',.I5ed, and thai
5 behind time me-
=. sun, as every
notion of the
--.'FeS rNlaD4 i.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

h ll1o'1''.
| ST sl'''''D u..irips,
q all .j ~ i9stiadng,
.,3r chain
| a'7'''-7 .n,rtng,
| ,r,a lightly sti,g,,a sHa' de deep,
/ l,s o5eyiDs' . sweep.
wide blue -
.,.s mighty pinion
5a ,t, :a9dn o2mi MON
! 1'd aim.
,re VOYAGE 80 ba;7ht.
IF he , t5ai 6arling ~
RI. J...tas light:
. coaff7;S d : rise;
a. e. lending .llii
| b. ..: .sis.
nav dark now oeamlhs'
,f 4. bailds Or Or mar 1alaa,nipo
+ .ayenfoId sie"nil's'
With s'''''
zach beho.aln7'
he i r ta,jfoi5ing.
acne s ~
a7. 'O'''
'. .,-Sa5 the ample ;5!1 PLainS'
g9aira chaLiee'
!. vim;
NJ r = - IL terrace.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-09-04

CHARCOAL FOR FowLs.-The benefit
which fowls derive from eating charcoal
is, believe, acknowledged. The method
of putting it before them is, however, not
well understood. Pounded charcoal IS
not in the shape in which fowls usually
find their food; and consequently IS not
very enticing to them. | have found that
corn burned on the cob, and the refuse
which consists almost entirely OF the
grains reduced to charcoal, and still re-
tanning their perfect shape-placed pc
fore them, is greedily eaten by them, win
marked improvement in their health as
Is shown by the brighter color OF thell
combs, and their sooner producing
greater average of eggs to the flock than
9etore-4S. Rufus Mason, IN tie P0"'trs
! World
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-07-03
"And what is that, Doctor %
Potomac River,

In the District of Columbia Council yes
terday the following preamble and resolu-
ton were offered by Captain Samuel Ged-
ney and laid over for further consideration:
Whereas it is well known by all persons
interested in commerce or trade on the Po-
tomac river. as we'll as by many of our ma
tional legislators, that the river is very
deficient in lighthouses and buoys, so es-
sential to safe navigation and whereas the
Government of the U. s. is vitality interest
ed in having its channel clearly defined
and properly dredged, an illustration of
which we have in the grounding of the
steam frigate Frolic off Matthias Point,
where she has been lying for the past two
weeks, mourning q great expense to the
Government: and whereas rivers of little
consequence compared to this in remote
parts of the country are constantly being
improved at the expense Of the nation,
while the Potomac, one of the most mag
nifcent streams on the continent upon
which the capital of the nation is located,
has been most severely let alone by the
National Congress therefore be it
ResoIged, That our Delegate in Congress
be, and is hereby, requested to urge upon
Congress at the earliest opportunity the
importance of so improving the river in
the erection of lighthouses and buoys and
dredging, that accidents as alluded to and
of similar character, that have been fire.
quent, may not again occur.