The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-05-28
SCRAPS.

1utIhdUlC lOI liiS ot1S VI 111S CAA''
Thiers seems to be a man that
the French can't cry down.
There's one thing that can al
ways be found, and that's fault.
The most dangerous fattery is
that which exhales from the pres
ence of interiors.
The last thing seen by many peo-
pie who have come to violent deaths
was kerosene.
Bloggs had his nose pulled and
was asked by a friend to resent it.
He said he would next week.
A dandy inquired at a fruit stall,
care these apples fit for a hog to
eat?" "Try one and see" said the
woman.
A bad marriage is like an elec-
trio machine; it makes you dance,
and you can't let go.
Life, like war, is a series Of mis-
takes; and he is the best who wins
the most splendid victories by the
retrieval of mistakes.
eye are the children of the dev-
il,' was the text of divine in the
morning, and in the afternoon he
said, "children, obey your parents"
Why is pretty, well-made, fash
ionable girl like thrifty house
keeper? Because she makes q
very great hustle about a small
waist.
The most striking difference be-
tween a fool and looking-glass is,
that the fool speaks without rehec-
ting, and the looking-glass reflects
without speaking.
A Hsrdforder advised slender
friend to chalk his head and go to
a masquerade ball as a billiard cue.
The most pitiable object on earth
is man whose wife wants to talk
him out of doing something.
By all means cultivate the habit
OF saying the most unpleasant
things in the sweetest way; moth
ing like sugaring wormwood.
A cotemporary declares that
gravity is no more evidence OF
wisdom than a paper collar is of a
shirt.
A Connecticut school-boy has
written composition on the horse,
in which he says it is an animal
having four legs, ''oue at each cor
ner."
John Wesley used to say: "Oh
how hard it is to be shallow enough
fora genteel congregation" Min
listers seem to have little difficulty
of that kind in these days.
"The whole thing has gone to
the bottomless pit" said a gentle
man, of an unfortunate speculation.
"Never mind" responded his
friend; it won't be long before
you'll have chance to 60 after it.
A sexton, being very familiar
with a physician, was asked wheth-
er he had entered into copartner-
ship with him. "Oyes," said he,
'we've been together for some
time; I always carry the doctors
work home when it is DONE"
A young gentleman recently Gre
ated quite sensation while read
ing to circle Of young ladies a.
poetic eHusion, "To a beautiful
Belle" by pronouncing the last
word in two syllables.
A negro held a cow while a cross
eyed man was to knock her on the
head with an axe. The negro, OBJ
serving the mans eyes, in some
fear inquired, "You gwine to hit
whar you look % eyes" "Den, !
said Cufee, "hold de cow yourself
I amt gwine to let you hit me-"
They have new way of getting
up surprise parties. A person re-
ceives an anonymous letter, stating
that a surprise party will be with
him on certain evening. Ae pre-
pares for it. Nobody comes, and
the surprise is complete.
The Langley Is. C.) Manufacture
ing Company has recently received
from Chicago house an order for
1900 bales of the superior cotton
goods manufactured by them. The
order is to be filled in eight months,
by the delivery of $50 bales per
month. This is a gratifying evil
dence of tee high appreciation of
Southern manufactured cotton
goods in the great Northwest.
AT the recent General Conference
of the Southern Baptist Church,
held, held at Mobile, it was resol-
we'd to remove the Furman Theo-
logical Seminary from Greenville,
S. c., to Louisville, KY, as soon
as that State raises an endowment
Of 100000.
The Cotton States Fair Associa-
ton, whose next exhibition begins