The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-11-15
Paper Collars.

Paper collars are well enough understood
now, and the addition of cloth lining has
worked wonderful improvement in the ar
ticle. The boy who tries his first collar in
this day has none of the trials or apprehen-
slons of the boy of ten or fifteen years ago.
we remember with unpleasant distinctness
the first paper collar we wore. 1t was at
surprise party. A half hour after the advent
Of Ourself and the other surprisers we we're
located in the parlor on q mohair chair
And they were very fresh and vigorous mo-
hairs, too. 1t was our intention to have got
IN corner, but We missed the aim, and got
located within eighteen inches of the stove
1t was large stove, with complicated
mass OF perpendicular sheet-iron pipes, like
an organ, only it was warmer than an organ.
The stove set out from the wall, and our To-
cation gave us prominence that would
have been very grateful had We been back
OF store looking for lemons, but being
diffident person, and having strong desire
to crawl under the carpet, and be out of
sight, the prominence put blight on our
spirits that we found impossible to shake
off. 1t was quite cold out doors, but the
room being full of people, and some thought
ful person having closed the door, the tenn
perature commenced to density with extra
ordinary rapidity. All of the party sat
around the sides of the room, and in such a
way as to take in the stove and ourself. A
dreadful silence sat upon all, disturbed only
occasionally by brief whisper of one friend
to another, which undoubtedly referred to
our proximity to the stove, and the weird
sOlemnity OF our expression which we des-
hutu nj ctr 10
essayed once or twice to lock into the faces
OF the company, but thought better of it,
and picking out place in the wall where
the paper had been torn off, fell to studying
it with all-absorbing interest. The perspi-
ration stood out on our forehead in great
drops, and having stood there until they
were tired, the drops silently rolled down
our face. We would have got out hand
kerchef; but We cherished the hope that
some one in the party was not looking at
us, and dreaded to make any movement for
fear of attracting his attention. Then the
bergamot and sweet oil with which we had
generously fed our locks, with view to in
tOxicating the senses of the females in at
tendance, commenced to ooze forth, and
start down the back Of our neck for fresh
pastures. 1t was at this juncture, the heat
OF the stove having become unbearable, that
the lady of the house enquired if the stove
was not too warm for the gentleman. 1t was
our purpose to protest that we never before
were so comfortably situated, but the roof
of our mouth having dried and cracked open,
the words must have got lost in the crevices.
But we smiled-such smile, perhaps, as a
sick man would exchange with an undertake
er, who had called il to ask after his health
1t was at this point We became conscious Of
our paper collar. 1t was pressing against
the back of our neck with the ardor of a
mustard draft. and one end had broke from
the button and was soaring majestically
heavenward. We could feel it crumble and
fall down on both sides, and every time we
put our hand up, which we began to do
quite often on account of the cold thrill
it gave US, we found it spotted with the vi
tality of that collar. The other people COM
menced to whisper, and look up at the CELL
ing, and put their handkerchefs in their
mouths. We thought of killing every one
of them on the spot, and hiding their bleed
ing remains in the cellar but we lacked the
GOODNESS necessary for such an undertaking,
on account of that internal stove, and so
gave it up, and kept on smiling to show our
calmness. Suddenly, when in the midst of
what was probably most maniacal leer, the
collar parted at the back, and one side drop
ped down to the floor, and the other swung
around to the front. A shrek of laughter
burst from the company, and we bolted for
home.-Danbury NeUs