Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-17
BECAIRE, NEE BAKER, IN PARIS
A FISH STORY

BECAIRE, NEE BAKER, In PARIS.
FISH STORY
BECAIRE is an American; so am /; else
should not put him into printers ink.
That Is to say, hei s an American, if a
mans nationality depends on his birth
pace.
Becaire was born on the border of Cas-.
co Bay, where the Atlantic swashes with
its everlasting stomach, casting its waits
upon the granite shores of Maine; where
they grow republicanism which ought to
wash and iron we'll in any climate, some
of which he would have inherited. per.
haps, had not nature protusely stinted
him as to intellect.
You see, hewas born albright, but be
aspired to be thought Partisan.
Becaire's grandfather was born in the
same Notwithstanding name was John
Baker.
How Becaire's grandfather could have
been plain John Baker you don't quite
see, perhaps, but you will soon.
John Baker was fsherman-and
monger; he decoyed the cod, allured the
mackerel, and seined the pogie, all OF
which he sold at the highest market
rates for cash.
He started in the fish business with one
dory, acquired other dorys, smacks and
nets; then died full of years and fish
bones, and affiuent for his times.
He left one son, Charles Baker-Be.
CARES father.
Charles Baker got better send-of in
life than was vouchsafed to John; in.
stead of starting with one dory, he
started with the smacks and bank &C.
count John Baker was unable to take
with him to the happy fishing grounds;
instead of drawing lobster pots he drew
bank checks, and the Bakers came to
be of the very first families of Casco Bay.
Charles Baker was scooped up by the
death angel at the age of fifty, leaving
much aff1uence, widow and Becaire.
Becaire had none of the scaly inclina.
tions of his ancestors, and the daisies had
hardly t1uttered single season over the
grave of the deceased Charles before his
hopeful progeny quilted his ancestral
halls and pogie pots for Paris.
Once in Paris, he began to look with
scorn on the fish traffic, and on every one
connected with that or any other traffic
and he sought the society of the aristo.
cratic and noble, which he had no partic
uIdl ulllICult} III uuOluS, UCCduSC uC W d.
willing to pay for it.
poverty had marked for it's own--did i,
ever occur to you that this is a good sea
son for poor marquises ?-and who kindly
our pet-"Baker, do you know you have
a very common way of spelling your
name? Callit Becaire'
Ha cow % roica
*'Fwedahwickl Fwedahwick" sale
another diluted nobleman from over be
channel.
tits an awful boah to say Fwedah
wick, why don't you say Fwed?"
He saw that raise, and since then has
been known to the fashionable world OF
Paris as Fwed Becaire.
Now you see how John Baker came tC
be the grandfather of Fwed Becaire
The original Baker, when he was mo-
out in his dory fishing, breakfasted al
four all the year round, dined at twelve
supped at five, and went to bed at eight
he had no regular hour for meals when il
his dory; fish, you know, are so uncer
tain.
Fwed breakfasts at two, and dimes a
nine, and his hour of retirement depends
entirely on the bottle capacity CT his
noble friends.
The original Baker had one suit OF
aumespun each year, and one suit Of
store clothes at the taking of each
census.
Fwed has two suits for each day of the
week
The original Bakers visual organs
were powerful; it used to be said of him
''John Baker can see school of pogies
further nor any man on the beach,"
Fwed is weak in his left eye. over
which he wears piece of glass.
Is it not singular how, when one gets
to be aristocratic and noble, he frequent
~ loses the sight of one eye?
What a commercial panic it would
create if our American nobility should
go blind in both eyes!
And to illustrate how the eyesight OF
some families will vary in three genera
tions, state it as fact that Fwed, with
out his eyes glass, 'could not tell a pogie
from twout."
The original Baker never kept horse
excepting on the Sabbath he had no use
for that noble animal, and then he and
mother Baker used to toddle to church
on foot.
He was sauare-toed Christian, was
John Baker, and never made a practice
of seining pogies on Sunday.
Fwed! we'll, you ought to see Fwed's
turnout
saw it day or two since in front OF
a diamond store in the Rue de la Paix.
Since, IN my Juvenile hippodrome days,
l saw the band-wagon of Dan Rice's cir
Gus, have seen nothing in the horse and
vehicle line to compare with FWed's.
The horses are chestnut in color, and
chopped squarely off as to their tails.
In America it is not commonly believed
that you can improve much on natures
arrangement of a horses tail; here the
nobility seem to be of another opinion
Fwed goes with the nobility because
it is easier for him to go back on nature
than it would be to go back On the no
bility.
The harnesses are of gold trimmed with
leather: as nearly as l could reckon, the
bits must have cost as much as John
Baker ever made in two OF his best sea-
sons of mackerel fishing.
The chariot was originally intended fol
the use of the nearest relative mourners
at first class funerals-you may see one
very much like it almost any afternoon
at Pere la Chaise; Fwed selected 1t be
cause 1t cost more than any other he
could find
And his flunkeys,
l make no manner of doubt they are
the tiunkeyest funkeys ever seen il
Paris.
They were raised in England, where
the climate is favorable to the growth OF
nf Inn "