St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-10-03
.>dcrcd TO the .Ncmory
@ Z . RG Z VI Z L + d ] I Ii
Humorous.

Somebody SAYS that every cord of
wood given to the poor is recorded
above.
\ man ont west was offered dish of
maccaroni soup. but declined it. de
claling they couldn't play of amy billed
pipe stems on him
There is nothing 50 effective in bring
ing Il man mp To the scratch as Il healthy.
high spirited flea.
\ man in New York has Il watch
which he claims has gained time enough
to pay for itself III six months.
Niagara hackmeu have Increased then
fares i'll consequence of Prof. Agassiz'-
utimation that no cataract will exist
nineteen centuries hence.
1t may not he true. but il i said that
an lri>hman after he had seen the nu
mcrouS hills and mountain ranges of
New Hampshire exclaimed. ''Bedad. |
never was in a country before where
they had 81 much land that they had t"
stack il.
/ \ new version of '.Old Uncle Ned
has become popular in the suburbs. 1t
runs something as follows: Then pull
mp the wicket and the stake. and put
/ 10y the mallct and bali for II" more
/ cInquct'll Ice played this year. its get
ting too late i'll the fall
\ Western editor does not think much
of fishing as Il sport. He says. I'VE
/ stood all day i'll the river last week. but
caught nothing until we got home
enough IL satisfy us tor some time.
When some one told Dr. Barton that
L.. L.
marked. Let lis I've thankful that it wa>
neither | nor l..
\ pacaId in Brooklyn barbrr-sh"p
window announces: Boots bIdchcd IN
side. But must not that he very bad
for the stockings!
An exchange says that Il bulldog
with sound teeth is the only thing I.
lightming-rnd pcddler will not tackle
and try to persuade int" buying rod.
Counsel occasionally are Il little un-
intclligihlc. us when one asked. MI.
Witness. where was You when you SEE
that rhiSHe SOHHd ?" And another
"lIOw did he seem to get out of that
wagon. of his own accord. or jump out
or Voluntarily, or how ?"
\ lady. i'll rapid pursuit of health al
Saratoga. hoasted to her physician
whom she met us she was leaving tn,
spring. Il have just drank five glasSe'
of Congress. Then don't let me de
tain you," was the quiet reply.
Ladies in delicate health should go tc
Colorado. The case of Mrs. Prather "l
Golden City shows the wonderful re
storative effects of the climate. She
could not even sweep her room when
they lived in Ohio. hut in less than /;
year after her arrival i'll the Territory
she chased her husband Il mile and ;
quarter with pitchtork.
Some drummers on train from BOs
ton to Portland. recently. wished I,
open bottle of whisky they had witt
them. but had no cork k-screw. iii &c
one" said one of the number. and ris
ing. he called out. lis there il gentle
man from Portland on the train ?" !
gentleman responded. "Will you len,
me your corkscrew ?" said the drummer
The corkscrew was forthcoming. Thi
is very pretty story, but the idea of ;
Boston drummer being without Il cork
screw is a little too absurd.
\ MIsTAKE.-A Des Moines druggiS
sends his clerk out to drum for sales q
. oil. He carried the card of the pr"pll
etor and the picture of his girl i'll hi
side pocket He called upon il trades
man of Newton, and tossed card up
I on the counter, saying that he repre-
Sented that establishment. The trade-
man picked it up, and gave it a stcad'
look, and said it was a fine establish
ment, and was informed 10y the clerl
. that he had represented it about three
. Years, whereupon he remarked to the
youth that he supposed he would sool
he partner. The youth said he shoul'
he pleased to sell him some coal on
: and that his establishment handled
q more oil than any other i'll DeS MoIne>
, The tradesman took another look at th'
+ card, and asked the boy if he WASH
, mistaken. He blushingly guessed h'
n was. as he returned his girls picture t.
h his pocket.
e THE LEX TALIoNIs.--A school ma'aI
:, in England has lately been brought be