Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-11-17


up the mountain the lower it gets.
The druggist is not improperly termed
the piller of society.
The East Indian crops have failed, and
widespread famine is regarded as in
evitable.
"Where are those $7OO.OOO,OOO Of
currency ?" shrieks cotemporary. Well
we can account for 1926 of it.-Zroy
Times.
A grocer in Quincy, Ill, has given the
city forty-one dozen bad eggs to be used
in keeping lecturers beyond the city lin
its.
A negro Councilman of Solomon city
says that his white colleagues are such
''mullet heads that he thinks of resign
ing.
The Louisville Courier Journal speaks
of General Antonio Lopez de Santa An
ma as
One of the few confounded things
That were not born to die.
Says the Detroit Free Press A New
Hampshire man was struck on the head
with an axe and made an idiot for life, and
yet the man who struck him was fined
only $65. 1t doesn't damage New
Hampshire man much to make fool of
him.
Perhaps it was not amusing to see John
the other night, singing contentedly to
himself and crumbing bread into bowl
of starch, which his wife had placed in
the pantry, and saying there was moth
ing like bread and milk after all.
The Peoria Review says: "We have
not had balloon ascension in Peoria for
many years, but the people of this set
tlement are now standing in silent awe,
tearfully watching potatoes going up out
of reach and sight, with good start at
$1.4O a bushel"
Tennessee should rejoice. The yellow
fever is abating in Memphis, and Andy
Johnson announces that he will not par.
ticipate in politics any more. Two
plaques do not often retire so suddenly
and simultaneously.-& Louis Globe,
Malone, of the jackson Cash Book has
now tried his hand at improving or
the old couplet ''In Adams fall" etc
Malone says:
| IF it hadn't been for the sins of Adam,
| We poor creatures wouldn't a. had EN-
Owing to Adams very sinful manner,
| All suffer, and that's what's the matter with
| Hannah
1t is said that Dayton, Ohio spends
annually 100000 for whiskey in he
bar-rooms, and but $462,OOO for -four
Dayton is one of those misguided cities
which would rather starve to death thai
remain sober two hours and half
Louisville Courier Journal
A Johnny Bull, conversing with an In
dian, asked him if he knew the sun nev
er sets on-the queens dominions. "No,
said the Indian. "Do you know th
reason why?' asked John. "Becaus
God is afraid to trust an. Englishman il
the dark" was the savage's reply.
Some one suggests, with most excel
lent good sense, that the immense door
plates worn by the ladies on their belt
might be utilized by engraving thereo
the wearer's name, age, residence, fol
tune, or expectations, and stating wheth
er heart free or engaged.
According to California paper,
young lady of that state. in telling
} gentleman about her Yosemite trip, sal
the scenery was perfectly ray
ishing-but she didn't like their styl
of locomotion down there. .'How
that ?" said her friend, show did you Il
comote % why, don't you think, " 81
y replied, II had to ride la clothes-pin
A Chicago paper states that at the e,
hibition there lately, facetious vetera
from Milwaukee, stumping around on
wooden leg, came upon group of alb
rigines gazing at buzz saw in full m
ticn, and knowing the initiative procli
:, tiles cf the red man, laid his timb
\ / limb across the saw with perfect equa
unity. An Indian undertook. % sho
that he could stand it with the sar
stoicism, and put his log on the sava.
implement, but withdrew it with an a
full yell, and Immediately demolished Il
T machine.