Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1873-04-03
From the Toledo Blade.
NORTH EASToN,
(Which is the State Nv MassYchoo- :

The Credit MObller blZnlS so excited
me that coodent stay in the quiet and
classic shades Nv the corners, while it
was going on. "Where the carrion is
there will the buzzards be Also" In
this Credit Mobiler l smelt carrion-to
whom / allood as to buzZard it is not
necessary to specify. / went to Wash
ington.
The state Nv things at the Capital sur
prised me. sposed that | should find
suthin tibet | Good turn to account in as
sstin and kiyerin up this swindle the
same ez fused to in the good old days Nv
Bookanan, but | waz disappointed. The
Republican members refoOsed any con-
cealment and insisted on committees and
SIGH. When the plague wuz raging in
London the dead carts wood draw up
afore the honses and the driver wood
howl, "bring out yer dead" When
Credit Mobiler ragged in Washington, the
people yelled to Congress, 'bring out
yer dead" Had it ben a Dimocratic
Congress, we wood have gone to the
door and swore that wehad no dead, but
not so with the present one. 'BringOut
yer dead !" shouted the people. ''Hcre
are the corpses" sed Congress, cheerful
ly and these wuz then laid out on cool
in boards and ready to be sent home for
burial.
1t wuz a most unprecedented proceed
in In the old times if a Democrat deyOt-
ed to Sunday Skools and temperance,
had bin innocently led by a pl0ttin
skeemer to accept stock in Credit Mo
biler the skeemer carrying the "tock till
the dividends shood pay for it, and so
on-and charges he'd bin brot agin him,
wat wood hev happened? He would
hev riz, and pintin calmly to his Sunday
SkOolS and temperance, wood hev in
dignantly asked of life devoted to Sun
day Skools and temperance wuz to be
blasted on the mere assertion nv plot
tin skeemer who had not devoted his
life to Sunday SkoOls and temperance
And the Democratic House wood hev
voted him clear and hev expelled the
accuser, and each member wood hev
trippled gaily to draw the dividends on
the stock which he held.
| he'd a curiosity to see how the con-
stitooents NV the great Ames wood re-
ceive him, and | he'd an opportunity to
tested to me that | shood 90, and he
Slipped suthing into my hand, l fell
into his trap the same es the placid Col
''Ef my people insist on giving me
resepshun," said he, 5000 to it that it is
spontaneous. | hey a conservatory
which it may he worth your while to see
EFF they want flowers to decorate the
tables-but enuff. Speeches will be ne
cessary, and we must hev EN-, but see
that YOU select men who will do it
spontaneously. Were | hard man |
Good make it uncomfortable for the hon
est free men in North Easton who shood
refuse to cheer at the proper time, but
| will say no more. My family doctor
makes a good speech, and the school
teacher is poet. heave heard that he
hez he'd an idea NV writin poem in
which | am to be crowned with laurels,
and the ages do homage to me, and pos
sibly he mite hev it done to read at this
resepshin-but NV course it amt for me
to say. My factory will turn out strong.
NV course. But go and vi it North Eas-
ton.
did So Mr.. Ames hez factory at
North Easton which makes shoyels. The
physician doctors sick shovel makers,
and. insists on bringing into the world
embryo shovel makers; the store keeper
sells goods to shoYel-makers the teach
er teaches young shOyel-makers the
shoemaker and tailor labor for shovel
makers, and the preacher breaches to
lovel-makers-h he is the sun nv this
system. Eff he had busted in this Cred
it Moffler, the factory would hev bin
closed North Easton would hev van
ished into thin air, and few years hence
all that the curious traveller wood find
wood be the last shovel-maker-a gray
haired man, sittin on the roeins Nv the
biler-arch, starin about in wild, va.
cant way
Mr.. Ames owns this shovel factory in
North Easton, and North Easton believes
Mr.. Ames to be honest. They reject
with scorn the idea that he ever did
ANYTHING wrong, or that he could do any
thing wrong. SO the next day after my
arrival, and after had interviewed the
leadin citizens, a public recepshum was
rendered Mr. Ames-a spontaneous
resepshun on the part Nv the people Nv
which Mr.. Ames wuz kept in profound
ignorance, and | was requested to direct
It.
seiested then that it be held in the
skool house (Which Mr.. Ames built,)
and that the music be furnished by the
North Easton band (Which Mr. Ames
equipped 1t wuz deemed necessary to
give the broceedins religious caste, so
I requested the pastor Nv the church
which Mr.. Ames attends to ask the bles
sin. The family physician Nv the great
and good Ames wuZ set down to pre-
side and propose his health, and the
general Committee Nv arrangements wuz
made up from the store-keeperS who do
business in Mr.. Ames' store. The clerks
and book-keepers in Mr.. Ames' factory
were distributed along the tables at
regular intervals to prodoose sponta-
neous applause at SIGH times ez | shood
indicate.
Here trouble set in. The family ply
stefan had relatives away from North
Easton, and he didn't like to. do it.
''Prepare your speech" sed | per-
emptorily.
Unjust say" said the watched man,
pale with anxiety, ''must say that Mr..
Ames is an honest man, which is the
noblest work Nv God, (Which | believe
is the noblest work, there is so little Nv
it, and likewise that he is gold witch
hez passed through the crucible, and
come out purer and brighter. Heaven !
must I? Is there no escape ?"
''Must 700? My friend, | shood say
so. This spontaneous gatherin must
take place. Eff 700 refoose do you
know wat will happen to you ? Anoth-
er physician will prescribe the nimble
cathartie and the energetic emetic-an-
others calomel will wrench the bowels
Nv North Easton, and make bizness for
the undertaken. By the way, eff the I'M
dertaker hez an interest in your contin-
yooance here, he ought to do half the
speech maxim"
The frame Nv mind Nv this physician
may be inferred from the fact that he
didn't see the sarcasm Nv this remark.
But it coodent hev bin expected.
San honest man is the noblest work
Wv God, and gold from the crucible,"