The Hawaiian gazette., 1873-10-29

The man across the way who enjoyed
vegetables fresh from his own garden
through the sumner has bought COW,
His wife told him how nice il would be
to have cow on the premises, to have
milk fresh aud pure every day, aud al
ways in time. aud always in abundance,
Then they could make butter themselves,
and not est the rank stuffeat ofthe store.
She told him there was enough stuff from
the garden and table to almost keep =
cow, aud the product would be just about
50 much clear gain. He figured j, up HIM
self with peneil. aud the result surprised
him lie wondered why he had not kept
cow before, aud inwarily condemned
himself for the loss he had been inhie,ing
upon himself Then he bought COW. In
the evening OF its arrival he went out to
milk it, But the animal was excited, by
the strange surroundings, and stepped on
our friend, aud kicked over his pail, aud
nearly knocked one OF his ewes out with
her tail He worked at the experiment
for an hour, but without any success
Then his wife came out to give advice,
and his son came out to see the fun. The
COW put one Of her heels through the wo-
mans dress, and knocked the boy down
in the nnd, which ended their interest
in the matter. One Of the neighbors
MIXED the animal last night, and came
round the next morning and showed the
man how to do it, The third day the
COW escaped the surveillance of the boy
who was LETT TO watch her, and when the
man came home At night she was nowhere
to be found. The boy had also disappear
ed, and our neighbor found he was obliged
to hunt her up before supper. He walked
around for i while, and then returned
home, but the animal had not been seen.
Then he went off again and made very
thorough search, and about ten o'clock
that night he came back with the COW,
his clothes begrimed with perspiration
aud dust, and his face flushed and scratch-
ed He wanted to kick the animals ribs
in, but realizing that such course would
result in pecuniary damage, he changed
his mind The boy wishes he had obeyed
the first impulse. On the fourth day they
churnei, so IS to have fresh butter for the
table The mother took hold of the dash
er first, because she said she used to do it
when I girl, and liked no better sport.
She pounded away until she caught crick
in the back that doubled her up like .
knife, and then she put the heir to do it.
He had been standing around, eagerly
waiting for chance, and grumbling be-
cause he did not get it and when the
dssher was placed in his hands he was so
happy that he could hardly contain him
self He pumped away for an hour at it;
then he said if he had to do it any more
he would run away and be robber. At
noon the man came home and learned the
situation. He was little disguised at
the "tom-foOlery," as he called it, and
took hold the churn himself and made it
bounce for while. Then his stomach
commenced to fall in, and his spine to un-
joint, aud his shoulders to loosen. He
stopped and wiped of the perspiration,
and looked around with q melancholy
cast of features, and went at it again.
The butter did not come, however, but
everything in the way of oratorical effect
did. He got so dreadfully excited that
his wife. smelling strong OF camphor, took
the daSher away from him and went to
work herself At this the son put his cap
under his jacket and miraculousIy dis
appeared. Later in the day the milk was
poured around the vine. On the fifth
day the COW knocked down 4 length of
fence to the next lot, and ate all the
oranges from tree that stood in q tub,
and when the people attempted TO drive
her out, she carried away q new ivy on
her horns, knocked down valuable vase
of flowers, and capped the climax by
stumbling over box of MOSES and fall
ing on pile OF hot house frames. On the
sixth day our neighbor sold his COW to q
butcher, and now eats strong butter
which comes from the store.-DdH6Hry
NslcS.