Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-09-25
General Items.
An imaginary quantity-A lady's age

country since New Years.
IN England, if man attempts to pet
into car after the train has started, he
is arrested and fined.
WAsrE of wealth is sometimes re-:
trieved; waste Of health, seldom bat
the waste of time, never.
EDMUND YATES characterizes the
Vienna Exposition as dead, flat, dis
NAL failure.
A CoLPoRTEUR in Kansas was told
that "this ere region hain't much on
Bibles, but if you want to make money,
bring us out a load of shot-guns.
A CITIZEN of Milwaukee is recorded
to have said, 81 can always tell water
when see tit looks so much like
gin. IN Y Sun.
A NEW YORK boy took lighted cat
die to search for leak in barrel of
spirits. lie got high before finding it
several rods.
WHEN you feel depressed and dissat-
lsfed, and wherever you may look
naught but frowning skies meet yo',r
view, wash yourself.
| T. E. MILLER has swindled the
Lafayette lind. bankers out of $lO,-
600 by means Of forged checks, and is
lost to sight.
SENATOR SUNNER's health is so much.
improved that he is thinking seriously
of entering the lecture field this sea-
son.
JOHN WILLIAMS, of Dubuque, an in
veterate topper, has given up drinking
at the age of forty. He mistook q
bottle of corrosive sublimate for whisky.
SIR ANDREW CLARK has been ap-
pointed British Governor and Com
mander-in- Chief of the Straits settle
ments and their dependencies.
Mr. ANDREW CARSAa1E, a wealthy
resident of New York, has given $685.
600 for the erection of public baths in
Dunfermline, Scotland, the place Of
his birth.
A CRITIC compares Dickens with
| Adam, showing remarkable likeness
| in many respects, but Omits to mention
that Dickens wife, like Adams, raised
Cain.
NEGOTIATIONS are pending between
Prussia and Austria, looking for the
adoption of means for the suppression
of socialism and revolutionary prlnci-
pies.
"WHAT," said a teacher to pupil,
"makes you feel uncomfortable after
you have done wrong2" MY papa's
big leather strap, "feelingly replied the
boy.
TIE cat is a volume of wonders.
One, resident in Oregon, catches it's
krsyr> has ~ <,y>
brings them in alive twined about it's
| neck.
ONE Mr.. MAURICE RICHARDSON, of
Fitchburg, Mass, recently swan frsm
Falmouth to MATTHIAS Vineyard, dis
! lance of seven miles and a half, IN tive
hours and fifty five minutes.
OLYMPIA AND SKooKUM CHUCK is the
name of the last railroad contemplated
in Oregon. It Dug ht to be short one,
as it is really but step from the sub
lime to the ridiculous.
A CONNECTICUT admirer of Alexander
H. Stephens wrote to him asking him
it sassafras was good for the blood,
and Mr.. Stephens wrote back on six
teen pages of note paper that it was.
SAwDUsr as a substitute for stockings
is recommended by writer in the
Oneida Circular, who says that ia
blespoonful of the substance placed in
each boot will keep the feet both dry
and warm.
A GEORGIA bride is described in one
! of the local papers as s'looking very
lily Graded in the golden glimmer Of
some evening lake-a foam-feck,
snowy, yet sun-fushed. crowning the
ripplings of some soft southern sea.
A WIDOW once said to her daughter,
~hen you are at my age it will be time
enough to dream of ahusband. Yes,
mamma" replied the thoughtless girl,
"for a second one" The mother
tainted.
A NAN who lately suicided in Omaha
had been q clerk in Patee's lottery
Office, had endeavored to start Ger
man newspaper, was financially en-
barrassed, and had trouble with his
wife.
A JAPANESE Police Commissioner
has been cashiered, and his entire es
tate confscated, for taking bride to
wink at the doings of disorderiy
character. How fortunate that our civ
ilization is more advanced!
GEORGE STIRLING, a resident OF
Brooklyn, opposite Jacksonville, Flor
ida, while attempting to rescue his
niece, who had fallen from the boat
into the St. Johns river, was drowned,
together with the girl.
AGEoRa1A bride is described by one
of the local papers as looking very
lily Graded in the golden glimmer of
some evening lake-a foam-heck,
snowy, vet n-hushed, browning the
ripplings of some soft southern sea-
AFRExcH physician has discovered
that the peculiar odor of Russia leather
has a beneficial effect on weak lungs.
and advises consumptive patients to
repose upon pillows covered with this
material.
CLOUD, the actor, who is rowing to
New Orleans on a $1,000 wager, isn't
having very good time. His limbs
are badly swollen, and he is afraid to
row nights, as he gets shot at, proba-
blv bv some ono who has bet against
him.
| HERE is the latest description Of
kiss, floating about without credit:
Twas night. A real warm couple STOOD
in the pale, cold moonbeams. Their
Inns touched, and there was q sonl'A
like COW hauling her foot out OF the
mud.
The Deseret News says that g few
DAYS ago our citizens were rejoicing
over the novel fact of Judge sitting IN
the District Court and administering
the law with dispatch and evident I'M
Partially, without bias against a"v
portion of the citizens"
A LADY who the other day bought L
. barrel Of cabbages in the Georgetown
: market, found a live baby in it, we'll
; dressed, with milk bottle in its
mouth, and SO protected by the man
ner in which the cabbages had been
arranged as to prevent its suffocatio'.
The Japanese Government is an.
: ious to have foreigners residing IN tie
|, country made amenable to the laws ii
Japan. Although the island emp'f'
has made some progress in civilizatls:'';
; it's code is too barbarous yet iol
, Western people. Grabbers have thei1
! heads chopped off.
, A SON of the Emerald Isle recent y
{ married the beautiful daughter i"
White Cloud on the Missouri sb'.s>'
, The trousseau of the bride was v>',
. simple, consisting of faded calico
| gown, which hung loosely over bel