The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-11-01
Conductor and Vice-President.

AT certain period, some six or eight
years ago, the officers of one of our
principal railroads had good reasons for
believing that some of the conductors
upon particular section of their road
were in the habit of rendering inaccu-
rate returns of their receipts from way
passengers ;" and as they were unable
to fix the defalcation upon the partlcu cular
individuals, Pinkerton was employed to
investigate the matter, and test the ac-
curacy of their suspicious. For the ex-
ecution of this delicate service he select
ed a sufficient number OF his best men
to furnish four for every car IN train,
one to be seated at each door and two IN
the centre of the car, the latter facing to
the front and rear, so as to see every per-
son who went in or out. These men
were directed not to recognize each 9TH
er, but to pay their fares, and otherwise
deport themselves like ordinary travel
ers. Each one was provided with pen
Gil and paper, and instructed to Keep an
accurate record of every person that en-
tered or left the cars, noting the stations
to and from which they travelled, etc.,
so that if at the end of the trip their
notes were in accord, it would be good
evidence of accuracy. In this manner
the major was enabled, in the course of
a few days, to make a detailed report
which showed conclusively that nearly
every conductor upon the section of road
under surveillance had been guilty of
swindling He also ascertained that one
of these delinquents owned property to
largeamount in Philadelphia. Where
upon, as was informed, Colonel s.,
the vice-president, sent for the man, and
the following dialogue ensued:
"Mr. -, how long have you been
employed as conductor on our road?"
About seven years, sir"
what pay have you received during
that time? ?"
Eight hundred dollars year"
"Do you own the house No. - upon
- Street?"
"I do, sir"
Have you other property in this
city,"
"I have"
What is its value?"
We'll, sir, can't tell precisely, but
it is considerable.
What estimate do you place upon
your entire assets?"
Something like forty thousand dol
lars"
Were you the owner of any portion
of this property when you entered our
service?"
"Not a dollars worth, SIR"
You have family to support, un-
derstand?"
d" have wife and three children"
will you do me the favor to inform
me how you have been able in seven
years to support your family and accu-
mulate fortune of forty thousand dol
lars upon salary of eight hundred ?"
"I have not the slightest objection to
answer your question, Colonel s.,
provided you will suffer me first to pro-
pound few pertinent interrogatories to
you"
Very well, sir, I've no objections.
What are they?"
Will you, then, be SO kind as to in
form me how long you have been con-
nected with the = Railroad ?"
Something like ten years"
"What, allow me to ask, has been
your salary during that time?"
:" 1 suppose it may have averaged
about $4,000 year."
You have a family to support, if 1
am not mistaken ?"
Yes, sir, have a family"
{" If it is not an improper question,
Colonel s., will you suffer me to ask
what is the amount of your fortune 2"
"Well, sir, I don't know precisely,
but it is something handsome.
Would you estimate it at half a mil
lion dollars, Colonel?'
"Yes, dare say it is"
"That being the fact, sir, if you will
do me the favor to disclose to me the Sc
cret of the process by which you, in ten
years, have been able to transmute $780,
900 into ten times that amount, without
any visible means outside your salary, /
will most cheerfully tell you how have
managed, by turning an honest penny
now and then, to amass the comparative
ly insignificant amount l have named.
"That is all very WE'LL" replied the
imperturbable president, but you
seem to have forgotten that there is q
slight difference between your status
and mine upon the - Railroad, in
that you are responsible to me for steal.
ing the company's money, whereas I am
not accountable to you for my transac-
tions. In view of this fact, it now be-
comes my duty to inform you that YOU
services are no longer required upon oul
road"
The facetious conductor, probably an
ticipated this result, and with his char,
acteristic GOODNESS, remarked: I'm that
event. sir, it may at some future time
become necessary for me to seek en-
ployment upon another road. Would ii
be asking too much for you to give me
letter setting forth your estimate of my
abilities to perform the duties of con-
ductor ?"
''If you desire it, 1 certainly have nc
objections to giving you a testimonial to
the effect that I look upon you as the
most unscrupulous and unblushinS
knave that has ever disgraced the cata-
logue of our employees, and that any
company having anything to do with
you will be morally certain to be rob-
bed-Hnper's Magazine"
Fun AND AsrRoNoNY.--Dr. Trail, ot