Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1873-08-06
Trying an Experiment.

in one eye and stick in one hand. One
eve was covered with handkerchief and
one arm in sling. His bearing was
that of man with settled purpose in
view.
III want to see,u says he, "the man that
puts things into this paper.p
We intimated that several of us earned
q frugal livelihood i'll that way.
"Well / want to see the man which cribs
things out of the other papers. The fell
low which writes mostly with shears, you
understand"
We explained to him that there were
seasons when the most gifted among us,
driven to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas
and events, and by the clamorous demand
of an Unsuitable public, in moments of
an emotional -insanity plunged the gilt
tering shears into our exchanges. lie
went off calmly, but in voice tremulous
with suppressed feeling and indistinct
through the recent loss of half a dozen or
so of his front teeth
"Just so. [ presume so. 1 don't know
much about the business, but j wanted to
see a man, the man that printed that little
piece about pouring cold water down
drunken mans spine of his back, and
making him sober. If you please, | want
to see that man. Iwould like to talk with
him.
Then he leaned his stick against our desk
resumed his hold on the stick as though
weighing it. After studying the trick
minute, he added, in a somewhat louder
tone:
mister, came here to see that ere
man. i want to see him bad"
We told him that particular man was
not in.
Just so. presume so. They told me
before I came that the man l wanted to
see wouldn't be anywhere. I'll wait for
him. / live up north, and I've walked
seven miles to converse with that man.
I'll sit down and wait"
He sat down by the door and retlectively
pounded the floor with his stick, but his
feelings would not allow him to keep still.
II suppose none of you didn't ever pour
cold water down any drunken mans
back to make him instantly sober, per-
haps"
None of us in the Office had ever tried
the experiment.
Just So l thought just as like as not
YOU had not. Well Mister, l have / tried it
Yesterday, and have travelled seven miles
on foot to see the man that printed that
piece. 1t want much of piece, l don't
think, but 1 want to see the man that
printed it, just few minutes. You see,
John Smith, he lives next door TO my
house when I'm to home, and he gets
how-come-you-so every little period. Now
when he's sober he's all right if you keep
out of ,his way; but when he's drunk he
goes home and breaks dishes, and trips
over the stove, and throws the hardware
around, and makes it announcement for his
| wife, and sometimes he gets his gun and
goes out calling on his neighbors, and it
amt pleasant.
! IN OF that 1 want to say anything about
| Smith but me and my wife don't think
| he ought to do so. He came home drunk
| t,-N1- oil l,n l. itpl, an
| windows out of his house, and followed
! his wife around with the carving knife,
| talking about her liver, and after while
! he lay down by my fence and went to
sleep. I had been reading that little piece :
| it want much of piece, and / thought if
could pour some water down his spine,
on his back, and make him sober, it would
he more comfortable for his wife, and a
square thing to do all round. So l poured
bucket of spring water down John
! Smiths spine of his back"
"Well, +" said we, as our visitor paused,
"did it make him sober 2" Our visitor
took firmer hold of his stick and replied
with increased emotion:
"Just so. / suppose it did make him So
Der as a Judge in less time than you could
say Jack Robinson but, mister, it made
him mad-it made him the maddest man
ever saw; and Mr.. Smith is a bigger man
than me and stouter. He is great deal
| stouter. Bla-bless him, l never knew he
| was half so stout till yesterday, and he's
handy with his fists, too. l should sup
pose he's the handiest man with his firts
| ever saw"
"Then he went for you, did he?" We
asked him innocently.
"Just SO. L suppose he went for me
about the best he knew, but don't hold
no grudge against John Smith. suppose
he amt good man to hold grudgC
against, only l wanted to see that man
what printed that piece. i want to see
him bad. / feel as though it would sootf
me to see that man. / want to show hin
| how drunken man acts when you poul
water down the spine of his back. That's
what l come for"
Our visitor, who poured water down the
| spine of a drunken mans back, remained
until about o'clock in the evening, anC
then went up street TO find the man tina
printed that little piece. The man he il
looking for started last evening for a sum
mer vacation and will not be- back befor'
September, 1876
Dots from Anderson.