South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1873-02-14
WIT AND HUMoR.
eS Any fool can make woman talk,
but it's rather hard to make her listen.

IHE WEAKEST fARr.-lt Is well known
that clergy men, when in each others com
pany, enjoy little harmless pleasantly
with each other as much as any other class
o. men. SO it was with two reverend dig
nitaries, who me. after separation of for-
ty years.
Tommy, said one, Il have been trying
10 account for fact which have noticed
since we came together. That no should
both be little gray is not to be wondered
at, considering our years but what puI-
zles me is, that tie gray should show itself
on my bead, while it is chiefly to be seen
on your jaws, and can account for il on
Iy by tho fact tina, that wears out soonest
which is used most
Step, stop, Robert " the other replied
i think physician would account for it
on much safer principle---that disease at.
tacks the weakest part
Bay a wsll-known clergy man was recent
ly asked his opinion Of young lady much
afflicted with the 'Grecian bend He re-.
piled that she reminded him of woman
mentioned in the Scripture, who had
spirit of iufirmity, aud could in nowise lift
up herself
Eor y German priest was recently walk
ing in procession at the head Of his parish
oners, over cultivated fields in order to pro-
cure blessing on the crops. When he
came to one of unpromising appearance he
would pass on saying, Here prayers will
avail nothing this must have manure
CS-'What makes your cows so cross 2
asked an old lady of her milkman. INV
cows cross What do you mean madam p
why as your milk is always sour, thought
the cows must be cross lot
ED HE marriage ceremony among the
bushmen of Australia is very simple, and
don't cost a cent. The man selects his
lady-love, knocks her down with club,
and drags her to his camp.
ESAN exchange tantalizes its readers
with this atrocity: Have you heard of
the man who got shot? Got shot i? No
how did he get shot?' 'He bought them
@An English vicar was standing, on
IS Lo"cly mourning, at his gate when one
parishioners arrived with baskctful
of potatoes. 'Whatt this ? said the vicar.
please, sir replied the man, fts' some of
our best taturs--a very rare kind, sir. My
wife said you should have some of them,
as she heard you say in your sermon the
common taturs Commentators didn't agree
with you
EP Some years ago fat fellow asked
old Sir Francis Burdott, while in Parlia.
ment, for some position, saying, 'Don't
you remember me? used TO be page
Well responded Sir Francis, you have
grown iuto a volume
HANNAH There is a station on the
Pittsburgh, Fort Wayne, and Chicago rail
road called Hanna, in honor of deceased
citizen Of Fort Wayne. a train stopped
there the other day, aud the brakeman, af
ter The manner Of bis class, thrust his head
in the door and called out loudly, 'Hanna.'
y young lady, endowed with the poetic
appelation of Hannah, supposiug no was
addressing her, and shocked at his famil.
iarity on so short acquaintance, frowned
like thunder cloud, and rstorted you
shut your mouth =
EE What are you going to leave me
IN your will Ned ? asked one friend Of an
other IN leave you my entire stock Of
imPudeDce, Tom no, no; that would
be unjust to your heirs, as it would com
prise by far tho largest portion Of your es
tate.
EyA SWEET little boy, only eight years
old-bess bis little hoart-walked into the
scene Of teachers examination at Osve.
60, last week, and bawlod out, Annie, your
feller is down to The house"
E%GoNE BACK on TuE DOCUMENT -
a short time since eolored man entered
The flee oftho Clerk Of tho County Court.
aud advancing TO table where tho Depu.
~ Clerk was busily engaged, he produced
a marriage license for which lie had paid
the legal tee few days before.