Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-06-05
BreVities and Levities.

@A Troy man is writing a biography
of Methuselah. He.has been engaged six
years on this work, and has just reached
the boyhood- days Of the patriarch. His
description of the athletic sports of the
young lad at the age Of l29 is very enter
tanning.
ES Why can persons occupied in
canning fruit store away more Of it than
anybody else. Because they can.
n@ The "Modoc julep" is lager dashed
with bourbon and frescoed with strawber-
ries. They are said to be rather delicious
when you have nothing to do the next day.
@TA Missouri railroad conductor got
"robbed" of $4,000 a few months ago,
and is now building $1,000 residence.
pa Susan B. Anthony says she would
not be frightened at standing face to face
with Satan. But the question is, wouldn't
Satan be frightened?
A-A DesMoines woman gave her hus:-
band morphine to break him Of the habit.
Of chewing tobacco. He don't chew now,
and she is doing her own spring plowing.
Bg- We have bitten off more than we
can chaw," is the way Kentucky legis-
lator put it, in declaring that the Legis-
lature has laid out more than it con ac
complish.
s9 There can be nothing in a name
when John Wright is hung in Kansas for
doing wrong.
BD~ Women like to marry men by the
name of William, so theyecan have a
"will' Of their own.
e@~ Next to the soyish delight of sur
reptitiously sucking the mouth of mo-
lasses jug, says philosophic correspon-
dent, is the pleasure Of breaking an en-
gagement with the dentist.
n0~ A Jew gets his law from the proph-
cts; an attorney gets his profits from the
law.
ssF Smoking will kill lice on plants,
but for boys fine tooth comb is the
most effective.
Rise carry eaffsf TH6fkR Work Raqd anu fGsii~, g
nothing away, and if you don't die rich
and go to the devil, you may sue me for
damages"
H1- A Green Bay deacon drank cham
pagne without knowing what it was, and
is being churched for getting upon table
and singing Ho! Bob Ridley, ho"
E a nice young man at Portland
kept looking in the window of a married
lady until be saw her shake a handker-
chief, when he called at her room. After
being picked up at the bottom of the stairs,
and having his boaes set, it was explained
that she was only shaking some apple
peelings from napkin. Her husband
says she did perfectly right in hitting the
visitor with the wash-bowl.
E& A skeptic who was trying to con-
fuse christian colored man by the con-
Trajectory passages in the Bible, asked
how it could be that we were in the Spir-
it, and the Spirit in us, received the reply:
'Oh dar's no puzzle bout dat, it's like
dat poker; put it in de fire till it gets
red hot-now de pokers in de fire, and de
fires in de poker" A profound theologi-
an could not have made better reply.
E A Wisconsin clergyman DANCED
the round dance the other day-round a
tree 10 get away from bear.
E An educated professor is roaming
about the wilds Of Northern Pennsylva
MIA, lecturing at "early candle light on
the science Of freno}ogy and Histology"
IL A St. Louis man recently COM
mitted suicide on account of the death Of
his mother-in-law, and it,didn't take the
coroner's jury five minutes to find a unani-
nous verdict Of alteration of mind" in
his case.