Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1873-08-12
BETSEY AND I ARE OUT.
BIZ WILL CARLETON.


and I are out;
We who have worked together SO long as man
and wife,
Must pull in single harness for the rest of our
nat raj life.
"What is the matter?" say you, swan, it's
hard to tell
Most of the years behind us we've passed by
very well;
have no other woman, she has no other man
Only we We lived together as long as ever we
can.
And SO have talked with Betsey and Betsey
And so we've agreed together that we Cant new
Not that We We catched each other in any terri
bic crime
We've been gathering this for years, little at
q time.
There was stock of temper we both had, for
start,
Although we never suspected 'twould take us
two apart;
had my various feelings, bred in the flesh and
bone
And Betsey. like all good women, had temper
of her own.
The first thing remember, whenever we disa-
greed, ,.n
Twas something concerning heaven-a differ
ence in our creed
We arg ed the thing at breakfast, we arg co tne
And the more we arg ed tn @ question, the more
we didn't agree.
The next thing remember was when we lost
She had kicked the bucket for certain, the ques-
ton was only-how?
And when we were done a-talking, we both OF
us was mad
And the next thing remember, it started in
joke,
But full for week it lasted, and neither OF us
spoke;
And the next thing was when scolded because
she broke bowl
She said was mean End stingy, and hadn't any
soul.
And so that bowl kept pouring discussions in
our cup;
And SO that blamed cow-critter was always
a-coming up;
And SO the heaven we arg'ed no nearer to us
got,
But it gave us taste of somethin' thousand
times as hot.
And so the thing kept workin' and all in the
self-same way,
Always somethin' to arg'e and something sharp
to say;
And down on US came the neighbors, couple
O dozen strong,
And lent their kindest service to help things
along.
And there has been days together and many
weary week
We was both of us cross and spunky, and both
And l have been thinkin' and thinkin', the
whole of the winter and fall,
If can't live kind with woman, why, then,
won't at ALL
And so have talked with Betsey, and Betsey
has talked with me,
And we've agreed together that we can never
agree,
And what's hers shall be hers, and Whist is mine
shall be mine
And / II put it in the agreement and take it to her
to sign.
Write on the paper, lawyer-the very first para
Of all the farm and live stock that she shall have
her half,
For she has helped to earn it, through many
weary day,
And it's nothing more than justice that Betsey
has her pay.
Give her the house and homestead-a man can
thrive and roam,
But women are skeery critters unless they have
a home;
And 1 have always determined and never failed
to say,
That Betsey should never want a home, if was
taken away.
There is little hard money that's DRAWN tola-
BILE pay,
A couple o. hundred dollars. laid by for rainy
Safe in hands of good men, and easy to get at;
Put in another clause there and give her the
half of that.
Yes, see you smile. sir, at my giving her SO
much;
Yes, divorce is cheap, sir, but take no stock in
such
True and fair I married her, when she was blithe
and young
And Betsey was always kind to me. exceptin'
with her tongue.
Once when was young as you. and not so smart,
perhaps,
For me- she mittened a lawyer and several other
chaps;
And all of them was fustered and fairly taken
down,
And for a time was counted the luckiest man
in town.
And when once had fever-I won't forget it
was hot as a roasted turkey and crazy as
loon;
Never an hour went by me when she was out of
sight
She nursed me true and tender and stuck by me,
day and night
And if ever house was tidy, and ever kitchen
The house and kitchen was tidy as any ever
seen;
And 1 don't complain of Betsey or any of her
acts,
Exceptin' when we've quarreled and told each
other facts.
So draw up the paper, lawyer, and I'll 60 home
to night,
And read the agreement to her and see if it's all
right;
And then in the mornin I'll sell to tradin' man
/ know,
And Pll kiss the child that was left to u.s. and
out in the world I'll go.
And enc thing put in the paper that. first to me
didn't occur,
That when 1 am dead at last, she'll bring me
back to her,
And lay me under the NAPLES I planted years
ago,
When She and was happy, before we quarreled
And when she dies 1 wish that she would be laid
by me,
And, lying together in silence, perhaps we will
agree;
And if ever we meet in beaven,I wouldn't think
it queer,
If we loved each other the better, because we
quarreled here.
HOW BETSEY AND I MADE UP.
tel-shelf,
And read the article over, quite softly to her
self;
Read it by little and little, for her eyes is gettn
old,
And lawyers writin' amt no print especially
when it's cold,
And after she d read little, she gave my arm a
touch,
And kindly said she was afraid was 'lowin' her
too much.
But when she was through, she went for me, her
face a-streamin' with tears
And kissed me for the first time in over twenty
years
don't know what vOu,U thirI didn't