Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1873-08-16
WOMAN AT SEA.
Two Types Of Feminine Character.

The workings of the female mind at sea
are entertaining. 1t is the thing to have
all exclusive gentility give way i'll pres
cnce of the great deep. A number col
lected on deck gazing at the dashing
waves treats one to all the adjectives
known to our language of which ''splen
did, "divine beautiful and sweet"
ring in and out interspersed with little
shrieks and exclamation points, all hav-
ing as much real meaning rs the tink-
ling cymbals spoken of. We never
heard the said 4inckling cymbals, but
are of the impression that they must be
very frivolous. We are panied to write
it, but after some years of observasion
average female mind has an utter con-
tempt for the country and all pertaining
thereto; while their wrath and disgust
for the ocean are only equaled by that
felt by the average male mind.
The first named, however, has the adj
vantage in the stunnig costumes gotten
up for the sea. Each female has, in ad-
dition to the sea dress, sixteen different
articles some poor masculine has packed
around; and us the fair owner never
rests ten minutes in one place the labor
is immense.
We have an elegant lady of a certain
age. known as Mrs. Mooris MOrticulus,
who affects masculine turn for machine
ry.
! She attacks the poor captain in the
most unexpected manner as to the prin-
ciples in mechanics For example:
"Oaptain, excuse me, but | am desir-
Gus to learn something substantial rs
travel; will you please explain to
me upon what principle the propeller
runs."
Il must turn that ovcrto Mr.. Jones,
responds the bluff captain.
"Ah! now, Mr., Jones, what is the
principles"
''Screw madame"
"How interesting; please explain"
'Simplest thing i'll the world, Mrs
Morticulus. A number of nautical gen
tlemen were dining togetherat Delmon
ico's one evening. During the win
and cigar interval the talk ran on III
trouble of side wheels. One of thes
gentlemen, man of no genius for me
chanics whatever, was idly balancing ;
cork-screw on his finger. An idea strucl
him. He left the table carrying off th'
cork screw, which was inserted III tn,
bill. A week after the gentlman of the
, idea and cork-screw appeared i'll Gran
berry Marsh, New Jersey, and consulted
{ Mr.. Robeson, then an obscure youns
lawyer of great promise but no practice
He showed Mr. Robson, Il model stea
mer with the cork-screw screwed in th
stern. Mr.. Robeson looked at it mo
ment and said, Reverse your screw =
The screw was reversed, and grea
step made in mechanics, and the youn!
lawyer rose to eminence."
slow curious; do MIR. Jones, let M
write that down." and Mrs. Morticulu
wrote fourteen pages on the screw.
f We have been running through a thou
sand miles more or less, of fog, and th'
steam-whistle uttered its fearful scream
every fifteen minutes. This startled
, Mrs. Banks. She said to her maid, Mt
~ ty;
: What a dreadful noise; Kitty ask tn
r captain if he cannot stop that. It's hay
Iinig very depressing effect on tn
' nerves of passengers. .a
. s.Lor, Mrs. Banks, they're whistlin' ice
0 bergs off the track" aAHH H,
''Good heavens, Kitty, are we anon
: icebergs?" 30 lo as54
, sOf course we are. The chambermai
who's married woman and has a bus
= band and eleven children in Glasgow
| says as how they counted hundred an
mine feet hieh or nine hundred and min
! feet high, I forgot which, for amt 90
! no head for 6ggers, as they went 10 Ne'