Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-04-27

imagine, bnt impossible to describe, tht
looks and acsions Of the company undel
their surprise and modification. They
dropped of, and left the barkeeper to hi
appropriate duty of handing the paper to
Ned. He reached it forth, but Ned moved
not hand to receive it for about the space
of three seconds, during which time he kept
his eyes fixed upon the arch offender in aw.
fully solemn rehuke. He then took il
gravely and put it in his pocket, and left the
barkeeper with shaking ague upon him.
From this moment he became Ned's most
obsequious and willing save.
Supper was announced; Mrs. Blank, the
landlady, took the head of the table, and
Ned seated himself next TO her. Der looks
denoted some alarm at finding him so near
to her, and plainly showed that he had been
fully described to her by her husband or
some one else.
"Will you take tea or coffee, sir ?" said
she.
"Why, madam" said Ned, in a toRe as
courteous as Chesterfield himself could have
used, 81 am really ashamed to acknowl-
| edge and to expose my very singular appe-
lite; but habitual indulgence Of it has made
it necessary to my comfort, if not to my
health, that should still favor it when
can. II you win pardon me, viii take
| both at the same time"
This respectful reply (Which, blythe way,
she alone was permitted to hear had It's
natural effect. 1t won for him her unquali-
| fed indulgence, raised doubts whether he
could be the suspicious character which had
been described to her, and begat in her
desire to cultivate farther Acquaintance
with him. She handed to him the two
cups, and accompanied them with some re-
| marks, drawn from her own observation in
the line of her business, calculated to re-
concile him to his whimsical appetite; but
she could extract from Ned nothing but
monosylisbles, and sometimes not even that
much. Consequently, the good lady began
very soon to relapse into her former feel
ings.
Ned placed cup on either side of him,
and commenced stirring both at the same
time very deliberately. This done, be sip.
ped little tea, and asked Mrs B. for drop
more milk in it. Then be tasted his coffee,
and desired little more sugar in it. Then
he tasted his tea again requested small
lump more sugar in it. Lastly he tasted
his coffee, and desired a few drops more
milk in that. 1t was easy to discover, that,
DCtOiO nO XIV buAgOu1 LILO l1A01ou1 Lou bOi-
emily resolved never to offer any more en-
couragements to such an appetite. She
waxed exceedingly petulant, and, having
nothing else to scold, she scolded the serv-
ants of course.
Waffies were handed to Ned, and he took
one; and so on of mullins, rolls, and corn
bread. Having laid in these provisions, be
turned into bis plate, upon his waffle and
h,f 10 - he ba ~ fha
several kinds of bread which he bad taken,
in different proportions, and commenced
MASKING all together with his knife. During
this operation the landlady frowned and
pouted, the servants giggled, and the board
ers were variously affected.
Having reduced his mess to the consist
ency Of hard poultice, he packed 1t all up
to one side of bis plate in the form of ter
rapin. and smoothed it all over nicely with
his knifs. Nearly opposite to Ned, but
little below him, sat waspish little
gentleman, who had been watching
him with increasing torments from
the first to the last movement of Ned's
knife. His tortures were visible to binder
eyes than Ned's, and, doubtless, had been
seen by him in their earliest paroxysms.
This gentleman occupied a seat nearest to
dish Of steak, and was in the act of mutter-
ing something about "brutes" to bis next
neighbor, when Ned beckored servant to
him, and requested him sto ask that gentle
man for small bit Of steak" The servant
obeyed and, planting Ned's plate directly
between the gentleman's and the steak
dish, delivered his message. The testy
gentleman turned his head, and the first
thing he saw was Ned's party-colored ter
rapin right under his nose. He started as
if he had been struck by swapping turtle;
Redeemed to scarlet; looked at Ned (who
appeared as innocent as lamb; looked at
the servant (who appeared as innocent as
Ned,) and then fell to work on the steak as
if he were amputating all Ned's limbs at
once.
Ned now commenced his repast. He ate
his meat and breads in the usual way, but
he drank his liquids in all ways. First
sip of tea, then of coffee; then two of the
first and one of the last; then thee of the
last and one of the first, and so on.
bis steak was soon consumed, and his
plate was second time returned to the
mettlesome gentleman "for another Uery
small bit of steak" The plate paid its
second visit precisely as it had its first; and,
as soon as the fiery gentlemen saw the half
demolished terrapin again under bis nose,
be seized fork, drove it into the largest
slice of steak in the dish, dashed it into
Ned's plate, rose from the table, and left
the room, cursing Ned from the very Utmost
chamber of bis soul. Every person at the
table, except Ned, laughed outright at the
little mans fury; but Ned did not even
smile; nay, be looked for all the world as if
he thought the laugh was at him.
The boarders one after another retired,
until Ned and the landlady were left alone
at the table.
"Will you have another cup of tea and
coffee, sir ?" said she, by the way of con-
vincing him that he ought to retire, seeing
that he had finished his supper.
"No, thank you, madam" returned
Ned.
"Wll you have a glass of milk, and
cup Of tea or coffee, or all three together ?"
'No, ma'am," said Ned. 81 am not
blind, madam" continued he, "to the ef-
fects which my unfortunate eccentricities
have produced upon yourself and your com
pany; nor have witnessed them without |
those feelings which they are well calculated |
to inspire in man of ordinary sensibilities. |
am aware, too, that l am prolonging and |
sggravsting your uneasiness, by OBTAINING |
you beyond the hour which demands your |
presence at the table; but could not per-
NIT you to retire without again bespeaking |
your indulgence of the strange, unnatural |
appetite which has just caused you 90 much |
astonishment and modification. The story |
of its beginning might be interesting, and |
certainly would be instructing to you if |
you are mother: but am indisposed at |
this time to obtrude it upon your patience, !
and presume you are still less disposed to |
hear it. My principal object, however, in |
claiming your attention for moment at |
this time, is to assure you that, out of respect
to your feelings, will surrender the enjoy |
ment OF my meals for the few daystbat l |
have to remain in Savannah, and conform |
to the customs of your table. The sudden |
change of my habits will expose me to some |
inconvenience, and may, perhaps, affect my |
health, but l will willingly incur these |
hazards rather than renew your mortifca- |
ton, orimpose upon your family the trouble |
Of giving me my meals at my room"
The good lady, whose. bitter feelings had
given place to the kinder emotions of pity |
and benevolence before Ned had half con- |
cluded his spslogy Qor 1t was delivered in a |
tone of the most melting eloquence,) caught |
at this last hint, and insisted upon sending |
meals to his room. Ned reluctantly con-
sented, after extorting pledge from her