Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-04-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

anu let MN walk up ana down hail Qay.
Il HATE to hear people talking behind
ones back as the robber said when the
constable was chasing him and crying,
Stop thief"
WHY is henpecked husband like an
opera hat? Because he is very big when
he is out, but Immediately shuts up when
he gets home.
Our lady readers may be interested in
learning that the large number of deaths
from smallpox has materially increased
the supply of false hair
VERMONT forgets all the hardships of
the past winter in jubilation over its ma
pie sugar season, and cheerfully asks,
What's the odds so long as it's sappy?
do YOU like Browning?" asked read
ing man of young lady whom he had
taken down to dinner. The fair creature
by his side (who was no book-worm) an
swered, "Yes. That is, like cracking"
A CORY (Pa.) paper, speaking of the
present depression of that town, says it is
caused by lack of unanimity, lack of So.
ciability, lack of home pride, distrust of
one another, and great desire for brag-
gart display.
A PARTISAN gun-maker has the follow
ing notice outside his window: "To those
Disappointed in Love A Great Choice
of Patent Revolvers. n. BIN the case
is all the apparatus necessary for extract
ing the ball and dressing the wound"
A WORTHY farmer in Georgia. who was
carried home on litter the other dav,
solemnly asserts that nothing but TWEEN
ty-ton anchor can hold sorrel mule down
to the earth after she has stepped into a
yellow jackets nest.
0, THE snore, the beautiful snore, filling
her chamber from ceiling to floor! Over
the cOverlet, under the sheet from her
dimpled chin to her pretty feet! Now
rising aloft like bee in June; now sunk
to the wall of a cracked bassoon! Now,
flute-like, subsiding, then rising again, is
the beautiful snore of Elizabeth Jane.
A TITUsvIILE father, who sold his oil
before hard times struck the region, and
who has quartette of beautiful daugh-
ters, wore out the toes of four pairs of
boots last winter, helping the young men
down the icy steps of his residence who
called to chat with the girls.
A WESTERN engineer has invented
hot water pump with which to squirt hot
water on to deaf persons who walk on the
track. Thus another source of interesting
items is ruthlessly cut off by the inventive
genius of this country. Next they will
invent non-eXplosive kerosene, and then
what will the newspaper itemizers do?
A HARTFORD topper appealed TO mer-
chant of that city for the wherewithal to
buy drink The merchant, being tenn
pcrance man, could not comply with his
request; but the fellows imploring manner
and condition touched him. 'Well, said
the persistent fellow, ''if you can't give it
-
ten cents pOinting to the clerk, and he
could give it to me-" 1t is needless to say
that the chap got his ten cents.
RESULTS OF FREE THoUGHT"--
A doubling doubter dobuted long,
His doubts at first seemed very strong;
But soon he doubted of his doubt.
And then host Of doubts broke out;
Could he these doubts his own doubts call:
Had he felt any doubts at all.
Was his first doubt doubt or not?
Were all the rest true doubts or what:
SO midst these doubtful ins and outs,
These doubts and doubts about his doubts,
Doubt upon doubt his doubts did shake.
Fresh doubts did doubtful answers make,
Till this all he could find out.
That he undoubtedly did doubt
A PERSON signing himself Charles
Weightman, the ''Man-Fish," proposes in
New York paper to attempt the feat of
swimming from the Narrows to Long
Branch, a distance of 26 miles, next
summer He processes himself confident
of accomplishing the feat. He will do
more than any swimmer ever did before if
he does a professional swimmer, named
Johnson, attempted to swim across the
British Channel from Dover to Calais, "a
distance of 81 miles, last summer but he
gave out after accomplishing only one
third of the distance.
THAT is new article for beautifying
the complexion" said Mrs. Bibb, holding
up small bottle for Mrs. Partington to
examine. She looked up from darning a
wooden sock for Ike, and took the bottle
in her hand. ''Well, they may get up
ever so many rostrums for beautifying the
complexion but, depend upon it, the less
people have to do with bottles for it, the
better My neighbor, Mrs. Blotch, has
been using bottle for good many years
for her complexion, and her nose looks
like ruption of Mount Vociferous, with
the burning lather running all over the
contagious territory
A NEW YORK fashion letter says: The
DAYS of Grecian bend and bustles are said
to be numbered The girl-of-the-period
dress with its bunched-up skirts and frou-
frou flounces is to give place to the statues
uue and classical Soft, flowing draperies
over uISt1TC1bu ptttlCodts Will bS tHC vi
der of the day Hoop skirts have been
scorned by fashion for a year or more,
| though they are so comfortable that many
| ladies will still wear dimiautive crinoline.
Scant skirts like those seen in the pictures
of Josephine and Hortense are predicted
| for the next novelty. Already the Jose
phine waist is prescribed by dressmakers.
| This is short, round cOrsage, worn with
a wide belt instead of being finished with
points or basque.
\ PAPER in Johnstown, Penn, contains
description of ball, from which we
learn that Miss Katie Smith was the esprit
| du corps of the evening The writer hard
| lv does Miss Smith justice. He might
| very truly have added that her dancing
was characterized by an exquisite sine 9uo
non. and that she attacked the supper with
! resistless soure qui peW which made
every other lady in the room seem en- pas
SAINT. Few women in society, we are sue,
1 have that air Of de gnstibus non est flsput-
anduu, which is Miss Smiths chief charm
| and that man must be wholly lost to a
sense of de trop who can observe the mise
| en- scene Of her manner without glow Of
admiration rarely felt in this day of mai de
| tote vilization-Ch9Isttan Union.
THE legal meaning of the word either
was eravely argued in an English Court
| Of Chancery the other day. \ certain tes-
tator left property the disposition of which
was affected by the death Of either of
/ two persons. One lawyer insisted that