The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-02-20
OLD JOKES WARNED OVER.


looks
1t is not considered civil to ask milkman for a
piece of chalk.
A man who was never troubled with his mother
in-law-Adam.
The wind was so strong in Iowa that 1t lately
blew mans eye out. The optic was glass one.
Flowers that are always falling of-Bachelor's
buttons.
"The best policy"-That which pays the largest
dividend.
1.-THE DEVILS g-bag" is Connecticut for a fash
ionably attired belle.
Jeems inquiries if the notes of gas company are
all set to the same meter
That man is indeed hard up who cannot get
credit even for good Intentions.
stress sews what she gathers.
Fashionable boot.makers can't always cure Ia
dies boots if they are bad but they heel them.
Why is every Boston boy sure to make noise in
the world? Because he is a little Hub-bub in
himself.
81 will be in the fashion if die for it ~ said the
ambitious belle, whose locks were not of the ru-
ling tint; sud dye she did.
The light of match will frighten wolf away,
it is said. But love matches won't always keep
the wolf from the door.
What Ia the difference between hill and pill ?
One is sometimes hard to up, and the other is
often hard to get down.
'There, John, that's twice you've come home
and forgotten that lard" La, mother, it was go
greasy that it slipped my mind"
A modest editor to whom was sent song en-
titled What shall my love wear !" wrote kind
but decisive article advising her to wear clothes
A man named his dog paste" why do you
give him such name 2" he was asked. "Be-
cause 1 want him to stick to me- was the reply.
''I'd rather not take horn with YOU" said the
Ioafer to the mad bullE but the bull insisted on
treating him to two and the loafer got quite high.
Some youngsters while watching the process of
of Matching chickens by steam. one said to anoth-
er, wonder if their mother knows they's out +"
An Irlshman, just landed, was asked what party
he belonged to. "Party, is it - he said. "Isup-
pose you've got & Government Thin I'm again
it,"
An irritable who was disappointed in his
boots threatened to eat up his shoe makOr, but
compromised by drinking a cobler.
Railways are aristoeratc. They teach every
man to know his station and to stop there.
Why is a cow like locomotive Because a To-
comotiyc has a boiler and cow has an udder.
The measures spoken OF in music refer general.
ly to time An exception Is made In the case of
hand organs, which furnish mus sic BY the barrel
A contemporary declares tina, gravity is no m ore
evidence of wisdom than a paper collar is OF a.
shirt
An advertiser in one Of the papers says he has
acottagc to let containing eight rooms and acre
of land,
The ladies lgive as a reason for marrying for
money that they so seldom find anything else IN
a man worth having,
In Massachusetts the Legislative committee on
the Hoosc tunnel is known as the committee Of
thehole
Adam smith defined man as an animal that
makes bargains; other dog does this mo other
dog changes bones with another
Ahumane mother in Danbury pads her young
hopefurs pants and gives him chi oroform before
whipping him
"A Deacon in Indiana has four boys, theyoungest
OF whom is named Doxology, because he is the
last OF the hims.
A Maine girl whose lover and lost a lirAt, re
piled to her companions banter, II wouldn't
have man with two legs-they're so common.
a Minnesota school teacher, who had whipped
one Of his pupils to DEATH has left that part OF the
country by rail. The rail wasa three cornered
Que.
could scarcely breathe. Don't try my good
soul" replied the candid physician "nobodys
wants you to do it,"
A Chicago congregation prick ed up ts ears when
the minister said, Il have land to sell," bat
dropped off to sleep again when he added, "the
beautiful land on high"
Detroit paper says that Mr.. George BarroIl
committed suicide because disappointment in |
love affair He couldn't bear the thought of re-
naming single Darrell.
The daughter of aaMain lumberman, in referring
to the recent failure of her father stated the
whole case by saying, "A sudden raise in the
river swept our fortune down."
CURE FOR MEASLES IN SWINE.
correspondent OF the New York Tst6une gives