Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1873-01-17
Varieties.

Some women use paint as Gddlers do
rosin--to aid them in drawing beau
Much of tho important art of physc
is knowing when not 10 giuc It.
A lady advertiscs that she wants gen
tleman for breakfast and tea. The can
nibal
A man in Anamoosa county Iowa.
lately sold his wife for key of beer and
thought he had cheated the buyer.
A little boy being asked, What is the
chief end of man? replied: The end
what's got the head on.
Roast beef said boardcr to a wal
ter at the - House, GLOW will YOU
have it, sir ?" "Wel done, thou good
and faithful servant"
Mr.. jenkins was dining at very hos
pitable table, but piece of bacon near
him was so very small that the lady of
the house remarked to him pray, Mr.
Jenkins, help yourself to the bacon: don't
be afraid of it." "No, indeed, madam,
shall not be. I've seen n piece twice
as large, and it did not scare me Bit
A physician on presenting his bill to
the executor Of the estate Of deceased
patient, asked, ''Do you wish to have
my bill sworn to ?" mo" replied tho
executor; "'thc dsath Of the dcccdent is
sufficient evidence that you attended him
professionally"
"Sambo, 'sposc dare is six chickens in
a coop, and de man sells three, how ma
ny is there left p
"What time of day was it 2"
"What has dat got to do wild it p
"a good deal eff twas after dark
dare would be none left dat is il you
happened to come along dat way"
Speaking of some cunning exploits,
Mr.. s. told us Of u singular instance ola
gun hanging fire. He had snapped his
gun at a squirrel, and the cap had ex-
ploded, but the piece not going off, he
took it from his shoulder, looked down
into the barrel, and saw the charge just
starting, when, bringing it TO his shout
der again, it went off and killed tho
squirrel
An Englishman, it is said, having
heard great deal about the Yankee pro-
pcnsity of Dragging, thought he would
make an experiment in the art himself.
lie walked up to market woman's stand,
and pointing 70 some large watcrmclons,
said ''What, don't you raise any bigger
apples than these in America" ZAP
pies p said the woman, disdainfully;
anybody might know you was an Eng
lishman. Them's hucklebcrries. "
PowERPUL ARGUMENTS "A few days
ago, tall, rough-looking mountaiDeer
entered the Union railroad ticket Office
at Denver, and through mistake, pur-
chased ticket for New York via tho
Kansas Pacific line, when he wanted TO
90 over the Union Pacific. He did not
discover this fact until after the ticket
had been paid for, aud on asking tho
agent to change it, the latter refused to
do 50.
"You won't change this ticket, then,
won't you p
"No, SIR" replied the agent; "you
have your ticket and the money for it,
and if you want ticket over the other
route, you will have to buy it,"
Very quietly the stranger twisted his
ticket into a small roll; very screnely
he drew from under his right coat-tail
six-shooter about the Dimensions Of
mountain howitzcr; coolly and deliber-
atcly he stuck Che twisted ticket into the
muzzle of the six-shooter, aud sticking
the ugy-looking thing thorugh the little
square window Of the ticket office, and
almost into agents face, and speaking in
tone that left no doubt Of his dctcrmi-
nation, said:
stranger, thar's that ticket; take it
yourself and change it, or by Cd (.
blow it Glen through you"
The ticket was changed Immediately.
and without any more words from the
agent, and the rnountainecr walked away,
saying: Il jest thought could induce
him TO change his mind leetlc