Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-10-29
PARAGRAPHICAL.

The Charleston Nescs and Courier says
"the man who is thoroughly In earnest has
no time for personal adornment." But be
ought to comb bis hair and brush his teeth.
The sudden death of a Western nan who
went f0olin' around q newspaper Office Is
thus satisfactorily accounted for: Mr.. Rod
ney's death is explained. Mr.. R. equipped
himself with three-pronged pitchfork, and
visited Colorado editor. The coroner's
jury found that r. died of a fall from q
window.
The Memphis AoGlGnche remarks, edi-
torially: A New York letter-writer says
Tennie Clafin apromises to die young"
She might have done 80 twenty years ago,
but she couldn't do it now, If she swallowed
forty pounds of arsenic.
We learn from an exchange that Water
loo, Wis, has bride and groom each Y
years old. The old man was married in
bis shirt sleeves, and bis pantaloons tied
around his waist with piece of BEDFORD.
Like the Waterloo Guards OF Cambronne,
he may die, but he'll never suspender.
Astronomical observations have devel-
oped the fact that there is amarked
wsne" in the moon. This proves conclu-
sively that the moon is inhabited, but It is
puzztng to imagine how the great Ameri-
can humorist came there.-St. Louis Jour-
ndl.-When we remember that the moon is
240,000 miles distant from the earth, that
joke may well b6 considered far fetched.
Ajuyenile horse-thief who lately came
to grief and the gallows out West, took
occasion to remark just before swinging of:
| am only boy, not out of my teens. /
have only been In the business short time
and have only had the opportunity of steal
ing TWO horses. am sorry ] was taken SO
soon, as | expected to make money on my
profession.
These are the astonishing results which
were brought about in California town by
reasons Of its doctors being away summer,
attending medical convention: They were
absent about two months, and on their re.
turn they found that all their patients bad
recovered, the drug stores closed, the nurses
had opened dancing schools, the cemetery
was cut up in building lots, the undertaken
had gone to making fddles, and the hearse
had been painted and sold for circus
wagon.
The Bath county (Ky.) Ne,usis authority
for the statement that it takes exactly two
hundred aud eleven pounds of flesh and
blood, thirty-two yards of dress material,
ninety-seven yards OF yellow ribbon, twelve
pounds of cotton, twenty-fou copies of the
Neacs, sixteen feet of horse hair, thirty-two
ounces of flour, two boxes of red paint and
bottle Of night-blooming seriousness to
prepare the average mountain girl for
church.
In the course of a late lecture at ST.
Louis, Henry Ward Beecher had this to
say CT Jim Fisk: He did not owe his pros
perity 10 his bad qualities, but TO his ster.
ling business ability. 1t might be said that
his vices tended to his success; not so, they
had nothing to do with 1t, but they ulti-
mately accomplished his ruin. Suppose a
man of great courage and perseverance
came back from the Arctic regions having
made great and important discoveries and
contracted rheumatism and neuralgia,
would people, seeing him, believe that he
owed his success to his diseases, and shout
rapturously, "Hurrah for rheumatism!
hurrah for neuralgia" [Laughter1.
Columbia Herald: The very polite
notice to trespassers in last weeks Herald
brings to mind an incident which occur
red In this neighborhood. Mr.. T., q gay
young man, was hunting upon the premises
OF his neighbor, Mr.. B., and in following up
the game, he soon found himself very near
the dwelling. The rapid reports of bis gun
brought out the old gentleman, who said,
"Mr. T., what would you say if you should
find me shooting birds 80 near your house."
His cool reply was, swell, sir, if it was
about this hour Of the day, would say,
'Mr. B., come in and have some dinner"
This ELECTED hearty laugh and cordial
invitation to Mr.. T., to stay and take din
ner.
Cincinnati Times: Some slight original
ity has found its way into the obituary COL
umns OF the George W. Childs-the Phila-
delphis Ledger, rather:
Lay aside his little trousers
That our darling used to wear,
He will never on earth want them,
He has climbed the golden stair.
If anybody can read that verse without
shedding tears, he may safely be called
fiend in human shape. The pic ure OF
little boy climbing golden stairs without his
trousers on is very beautiful, and tie more
so because of the reflection that the little
one can never catch cold again.