The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1873-07-25
The Danbury Man Has His Pho
tOgrnph Taken.

Having photograph taken Is one OF
the great events in mans life. The
chief desire is to look the very best, and
on the success Of the picture hinges, in
many cases, the most important epoch
in life. To work up proper appear
anee time enough is used. which, if de-
voted to catching Aeas for their phospho-
rus, would cancel the entire national
debt and establish New York daily
paper. When you have completed your
toilet you go to the gallery and force
yourself into a nonchalance Of expres-
sion that is too absurd for anything.
Then you take the chair, spread your
legs gracefully, appropriate a calm and
Indifferent look, and commence to per-
spire. An attenuated man with pale
face, and soiled nose now comes out Of
cavern, and adjusts the camera. Then
he goes back Of you and tells you to sit
as far back as you can in the chair, and
that it has been a remarkable backward
spring. After getting you back till your
spine lnterferes with the chair itself, he
shoves your head into a pair of ice-tongs
and dashes at the camera again. Here,
with a piece Of discolored velvet over
his head, he bombards you in this man
ner: "Your chin out little, please. y
The chin is protruded. "Thats nicely {;
now n little more" The chin advances
again, and the pomade commences to
melt and start for freedom. Then he
comes back to you and slaps one of your
hands on your leg in such position as
to give yeu the appearance of trying to
lift it overhead. The other is turned
under itself, and has become so sweaty
that you begin to fear that it will stick
there permanently. A new stream Of
pomade finds its way out, and starts
downward. Then he shakes your head
in the tongs TIL it settles right, and says
it looks like rain, and puts your chin out
again, and punches out yoSr chest, and
says he doesn't know what the poor are
TO do next winter, unless there is a radi-
cal change in affairs, and then takes the
top Of your head in one hand and your
chin in the other, and gives your neck
a wrench that would earn any other man
prominent position in new hospital.
Then he runs his hand through your
hair and scratches your scalp, and steps
back to the camera and the injured vel
vet for another look. BY this time new
sweat and pomade have started out. The
whites Of your eyes show unpleasantly,
and your whole body feels as if it had
been visited by an enormous cramp, and
another and much bigger one was mo-
ment&rily expected. Then he points at
something for you to look at; tells you
to look cheerful and composed, and
snatches away the velvet and pulls out
his watch.
When he gets tired, and you feel as il
there was but very little left in this world
to live for, ne restores the velvet, says it
is an unfavOrable day for picture, but
he hopes for the best, and Immediately
disappears in his den. Then you get up
and stretch yourself, slap on your hat,
and Immediately sneak home, feeling
mean, humblsd, and altogether too
wretched for description. The first
friend who sees the picture says he can
see enough resemblance to make certain
il is you, but you have tried to look too
formal to be natural and graceful.