, 1873-12-07
HUEOR.

THIS w0rlu IL Jtte mllIt-!tg OURS
"A great crasll-A steaml,oat towel.
Engaging photographer-"Ju Just look little
ploanant. miss think Of im."
The laales ate singing about tho moth.
eaton bastle, tile old hon hustle, tho cloth-eateu
buHso that hung OH 10 Toll."
Tho lutost ovcrcoat may he called tho knoo
plus Ulstor.-LotceH Courier.
W thing Of beauty is jaw forever" ~ An
American husband said Of hla handsome. neold-
Il Virginia husband opened his vifo's lo.tcrs
to SEQ who was writing tu hor, aud ho WAS scut
to prison for ten yoars.
Upon tho " outer wall " Of fcma,o college
at Akron, O., tho otler morning, WAS discov-
neu.ic Sowing -,taoiines.S Sumo Of those specl-
mens Of total dopFavlty knowna college students
-Da1oy, Of tic panbury Ne,o,, commenced
saying, solelnn1y, II would rot liso Away yet,
ductor,"
"A plrenologlst told man that he had com.
0alvssss vefy largely dovel9pod, aud vas Of
tho man angrily; "ana it you repca.is III knock
Tho hard times also affect the Indians. ons
horse will now purchase two Apache women, aud
tbs owner Of tic woman will throw in dog or
two rather than spoil 4 trade.
-Dlg5lnB drew clasaio inspiration from
his Thanksgiving dinner, and rs Margaret re-
moved tho iema'ra Of tho turkey from tuo tnblo,
exclaimed: "De mortuis nil nlsi bouunl iEtas
L." Very good, rojuned Mrs. D. "Nothin:
OF the dead but what ia good. Ono year old"
.'rnat IL too ltboral," Mr. D. replied. "Edtl,ng
left of tho dead but tho boilca Eatou at i
-Twsnty.scyon Naahvillo ladies, determined
to practice economy, vowcu not 10 wear anything
mora expensive than calico l:oanus 10 church;
and they stuck to it. as mono Ut tlom haya
attended church Binco.
%1&r.t ln1., knt III
Ut say old fellow, over sinco I matriculated
FRO wanted to ask you which tailor mado your
clothes" Tutor" lIumph! Fubbina In tho
High" 3. A." Much oblisol; I'll tsko
4nosid good care that ho nsyor aaies mfno !''-
"A nico question OF tan!o: Jcwocr-Wha!
kinl OF chain woal you liko? Young ala.i--
Woll. dont know, hardly. What kiutl Of =
eain G: would you think ou sht to isvo tlla: is,
bcoonling for young man what carries grocer
ics to poulo Of tho bsst families in The town?
y bachelor a. banquet in Newcastle, Eng
land, gave Tho following toast: 81 Tho women
md cosl Of Durham o,auty--oh, how doaolato
would the lraside be without tilem!'
=" May Heaven chorisi aHl keep YOU from
yours tTniy, John Smith," wat the sUnlswl,at
ambiguous coaing Of d lovc-lo:tor 1ec>nty re-
ceiyetl by \ young lady.
That period Of tLo yoar has arrived when tho
sight Of tweuty-ponn'l do. drawing ninety
pound boy Oh 4 thilty-rouud a.cd il quito cou-
mon spectaele.- Uftca Herald.
ear sf oyys rz S oas an9sr s c5ps my
dass.' Little girl. Tin glad Of that. sir.
AIothor said ali shelast lot we got wore Blatos."-
Judy.
"A Colorado paper quotes M instance OF tho
1t says al Ohio lady who could not swoep lor
toom ut home, after her arrival in Colorado was
ahle to chase ler husband mila With pitch.
fork.
a Sioux City Justice Of tho Pence about to
'.aay marty naa couple & sad Hold up Eour right
case?'
Medical man (ginsor1y--" y tl,ink-perbaps
-y9u might-erop Iinc. and havo your VITO
oxtrcme cs."-Iunch.
An Indlana board4!g-houao hooper has
hofso-pistol attached to llB Lash, aud any man
vino don't Like tt is a liar.
"a Western paper, undor tho handing Of
li1nc."
Anything now in the way Of an obituary no.
tco il a rsllef -aomotllng like this. fol instance.
from Nevada newspaper: ''1'.o many i1lcndi
.sed hy a bo 'e: ohor sa' dsy "s on
Nixon's H!ll. while lying in wait to shoot
Clinamall." ":lllis IL always world Of di4ap-
pointnaent," phtloaophicaly coucudca tho No.
yada lloNslnan.
party 10 carly last night, susan7 Didn'tyo
enjoy yourself?" 8lsan-"Y Yes 1na'am But
tha young man as TUX ms hin to III nor in
suited nla." hIHtrssB-s' Isllltad ynu, buBau!
Why. what did ho say?" Suaan-"Yes mA'am.
llo asked II my program was full: anl TN auro
never I'D nothing but sandwich aud glasa
Of lemonade, no conc away llome."
-We hare seon stick OF wool Weighing
scarcely four ouuccH fall from i bows arm, aud
striking un iig toos ronder him incapable Of fur
thor action for houts aftorwnsd, wasic tho same
hoy las slipped with pair Of skates, and, strk-
ing on tho Lack Of hia head With sufficient force
to split that article opon. has not only roached
liza feet unailed, but has given tle boy WHO
laughed At Lin ono Of tho most astonishing
wlalings he ever reeevcd.-DanJu'y Ne,os.
-IAn Portland Transcript tells story OF tho
Rev. hlr. Burroughs, OF Portsmouth. who some
years ago spent several weeks On Star Islaud,
for the benefit Of his health an1 tho pulpit OF
tho little atone church being unoccapicd ho vol
nnteored to preach for the people during Ills
stay. Tho church waa accordingly op cned, and
he 1niniatered unto tlem to thoir appnrent 40.
ceptancc. The preacher, however. dill not loarn
III what appreciation hin lAbora wero hold until
he prepared to make his departure, wlleu lia in.
torcsted hearors seut him bill Tor tho uso oi
tho church.