The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-06-26
How ghe Average Woman Con-
sfrxzcts Her Head-Gear-.A
Very Literal Pfcture.-
Woman as an Organ.
Izer of Spring
HATS.

4 woman who is considering the mat
ter Of her new hat Is an interesting sub
jeet for contemplation. First she buys g
straw frame that looks as if had been
struck by hurricane and then sat down
on by an entire coroner's jury. After
that, when she rides in street-car, she
drinks in the details of every spring hat
that enters, and learns them all by heart,
and does mental sums over the cost OF the
ribbon, and makes up her mind to have
flowers in hers ike those worn by the
woman in the corner, and lace like that
gaudy-Iooking creature in the middle.
! And when she walks down the street and
studies all the hats that come along, and
| when a woman passes her with one on
| she twists her neck around to see how it
/ looks behind, and is disguised to see
| that the woman is also dislocating her
neck to see how she trims her hat. When
she arrives in front of a millinery store
she fingers until she has analysed all the
spring hats in the window, and she de-
termines to trim hers nineteen different
WAYS, and decides not to have flowers
like the woman who sat IN the corner.
Then she shoots into the store, and asks
to "see hats" with the air of a person
who has a whole female seminary to rig
out with eighty-dollar head-gear. She
examines every hat in the establishment,
overhauls ten bushels of flowers, gets
about twenty dollars worth OF work out
of the saleswoman, and then says she |
VIII 'Hook further" Then goes home |
with her mind fixed on thirty-eight or
nine different styles in which she wants |
to trim her hat. After while she be-
gins to think she ought to have feather |
III it, and she passes two or three sleep |
less nights trying to decide whether to
put one on or not.
At last she resolves she will. Then
she lies awake for two more nights en-
to determine whether it shall
be red or blue. She fixes on the blue.
She buys the trimming and sews it on in
seventy successive positions, her mind
filled with deepest anxiety as to whether
the feather should go on the right side,
the left side, or on top. She puts it on
the right side, but just then Mrs Brown
passes the front window with a feather
On the left side of hers, and so she
changes it. The next morning Mrs.
Furguson calls, and her feather is on the
right side, and then another change is
made. At church the next day Mrs.
Smith has feathers on both sides, and
Mrs johnson has one on top. Then
more sleepless nights and more painful
AT last, in utter dispair, {
she takes the hat to milliner and pays
en dollars to have it trimmed. When ,
t comes home she pronounces it "hate-
iul," and picks it all 10 pieces, and
)roods over it, and worries and frets,
md loses her appetite, and feels life to :
,e burden for two weeks longer, until 5
she hits just the right thing, {
md becomes once more seren and happy,
md puts the hat on and goes out, and :
makes millions of other women miserable )
because their hats are not trimmed ex- i
city like hers. As a wife, woman is
blessing; as mother, she is an inestim-
bile boon as an organizer of spring hats, .
he is simply an object of compassion i
lax Adeler.