Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1873-07-31
MR.. BUTTON AND HIS BOOK AGENTS.

"Uhuh.uh M" began the long man
with long cough, apparently only a
cough of habitual preface; and he ad-
ded, with spiritless manner, 81 was
stopping in the city for a few days,
and not having any occupation just
at present. am member of the
ministerial profession, sir-but not
being engaged just now, / would con
fer with you on the subject of under
taking to engage in the sale of some
of your publications."
Button moved impatiently in his
chair.
"No use, Mr.-, Mr.-.no
use. You can't sell my books"
The long man, as if unaccustomed
to such direct and uncompromising
speech, started preceptibly, and look.
ed aghast for moment, as if some
one had "spatted" him in the face
with a cold, wet hand.
"Uh>uh.uh-m," he began again, 81
trust, sir, that the fact Of my being
minister of the gospel" -
"Not the least in the world" in
terrupted Button" nothing of the
kind. You hain't got the root of the
matter in ye-that's the long and
short ont. You can't sell books -
You can't sell nothin'. / hain't no
use for We. A hundred sech tellers
as you couldn't sell baby tract
It's ji@n, | want. Pety amt no ac-
count in the subscription book bus
ness. Nor ministers neither; only
linen. I'd like to 'commodatc we, my
friend, but faint no kind o. USE
Good mornin'. Pm very busy
john" he shouted again to his clerk,
who instantly appeared-"Show this
gentleman out"
And without paying the least at
tention to the COMPOUNDED long man,
who conghed again in full, and wo'd
have begun another circumlocution,
MIR. Button made sudden half-face
and addressed Jacox.
"Now, Mr.. Jacox, your turn. So
you want to git some territory to sell
my History O. the Bible?'
"Yes," said Jacox. But both he
and Adrian wore looks that testified
to an uncomfortable sensation in view
OF the dismissal of the poor broken
down clergyman, who had, as it were,
gradually been extracted from the
room in state of astonished but fee.
BILE Indignation.
"Hum," snuffed the publisher, Wig.
orously. "That chap would have sot
therein talked all day long 'fI'd let
him. No more go in him than there
is in broken.backed snek. Sell
books! No wonder he hain't got no
engagement. What's he good for,
I'd like to know? lie may be with
somethin' a preachin' for what |
know, where they only want kind
o nuss to git um asleep, but l don't
believe he can save no souls. Forty
sech preachers couldn't convert a rat,
let alone sinner in britches! Allthe
used up ministers in the world, l be.
lieve, think they can make their ev-
erlastin' fortins sellin books. They're
the wust and meanest failures on um
all. I'VE lost money enough and time
enough with UNI, tell ye, before this.
| shuck um off mighty quick now"
"Now, Mr.. Jacox, do you know
how to sell customer a book?"
"Why," said the little man, greatly
impressed by the intense manner and
weighty matter of Mr.. Burton's adj
dress,-"Why, I've been in the hab It
of thinking so: and I've sold a good
many books; but III say this, Mr..
Button-that I'm ready to take your
directions"
"Now We talk like a man o sense"
said Button. "IIere'-and taking
up copy of the History of the BIZ
bic, he held it ont to Mr.. Jacox, adj
ding,-"Now you sell me that book"
Jacox look ed puzzled
81 mean it. | mean exactly that.
Sch me that book! | don't want it.
On book agent, anyhow! Cussed
piratical villains!''
Jacox, without word, took the
volumn, and rose from his CHAIR
Button seized pen, turned to the
table, and began to write assiduously.
"Mr. Button, l believe" said ia
cox, in a prompt aud sharp but good
natured voice.
Button just glanced up and then
down again, saying grufliy, "yes.-
What yo1 want?"
Jacox laid the book on the table,
open TO the title pare.
"Therc, Mr.. Button. You're a man
Of family. That book will do more
to keep your children honest and safe
in their morals and their practice,
than all the Sunday schools in York
State. You've got to own it,"
sect out with your book!" ex-
claimed Button, slapping down the
cover of the booksand giving it a slide
so angry and vicious that it flew quito
over the edge of the table.
Jacox caught it neatly in the air,
laid 1t right back where it was before,
open just the same, and went straight
on in exactly tie same tone, barely
making semicolon at the Interrupt
ton.
"-As was saying; now for in
stance; youi daughter hears some
body say the Bibles a humbug; she's
a young innocent girl and dent know
good and evil. Or Sour son, and he
thinks it's smart to be al independ-
ent thinker. But when they come
home and ask. you or your mother
about it, you just look up the points
in this book and you set 'em all right,
and save fine young fellow that
you've set your heart on, from going
head first into infidelity, and all the
wickedness that generally goes along
with it,"
"-You see" broke off Jacox, all
of q sudden, "this is no fair shakes.
haven't studied mp the book. l don't
know any thing about it at all. |
aops, coll n hn~l, tLoe I1,st