St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-08-01
Wit and Humor.

Wit and Humor
A New York Herald correspondent
has seen i'll Florida spider that would
weigh three or four pounds. We have
often seen one as heavy as this i'll our
kitchen. What a skillet it takes to get
up such storieS.-L LOTeH Courier.
y book agent in ii neighbOring city
attempted to commit suicide the other
day by shooting himself. Fortunately
the ball struck his cheek and bounded
off. LdWrcncc Amerjcdn.
''ls that clean butter p said a friend
the other day to Il farmer, who had
wagon full of butter. ''Gucss it ought
to he. replied the farmer, lit took
the old woman and three boys all night
To pick the hair out ONT"
The most widespread case of liver
complaint on record is Il house on Main
street, where thirty boardcrs have it.
But il is cheaper than other meat
The market is very well supplied
with berries. The new worm that
comes with them this year is rather
acid i'll flavor, and not altogether un-
/ pleasant
/ "lf You don't want the SCOT. don't go
up the chimney" was the reply of an
editor to ''respectahlc" parties who re-
quested him not to mention the fact
that they had been alraigncd in the po-
lice courts.
An old bachelor said '.There's sight
more icwelry worn nowadays than
when | WAS young; but there's one
piece that always admire that | don't
often see now" What is that ?" ask
ed Il young lady. A thimble." WAS
the reply. He WAS regarded with con
tempt and scOIn 10y every lady i'll the
room fur the rest of the evening.
/ y country clergyman. paying IA pro-
/ tessional visit to Il dying neighbor, who
was a very clIuIliSh and universally un-
4 popular man. put the usual questions
Are you willing to go, my friend p
"Oh! yes" said the sick man, Il am"
well" said the supplemented minis
ter. Il am glad you are. for the neigh
hors are willing"
Applicants for admission to Kansas
oranges must bring a full grown
'clinch" bug. captured on his own farm.
Some parties who tried to palm off bed
bugs on the examining committee were
kicked out with Il horserakc.
\ western paper states that Congress
man Williams. of Indiana, has turned
over his back pay-to Mrs. Williams.
An exchange declares that ..when the
millennium comes, if not before, woman
will exercise every right which Miss
Anthony now demands for her" Then
we appeal To the management to post
ponc the millennium indefinitely Louis
rifle COHFier-.j0WndI.
\ distressed looking individual who
had been summoned to serve as Juror
i'll Philadelphia. asked the judge to eX-
/ cuse him. because he had conscientious
ScIuples against sending to prison
there WAS too much false swearing he
had hcen there. and knew how it was
himself.
\ countryman in Savannah observed
gang of negroes at work III the streets,
each wearing ball and chain. He
asked OF why that ball was chained to
his leg. IF" keep people from stealing
it,. said the darkey. Heap of thieves
about here
Savannah Advertiser: An old lady
selling eggs yesterday asked, as is uslI-
Ill. WHATS the news ? The latest
said the ohliging clerk. is that the
Yankees have got the Modocs.' The
old lady struck her kmuckles on the
counter and exclaimed. i hope the last
one of 'cu will die of it =
Senator Carpenter. indulging his pro
pcn>itl for high moralizing. said in Il
recent speech that "the laNity of life is
restrained 10y the supervision of Wife
/ That depcldS il good deal on the char
actcr of the wife who does the supcrviS-
ION. Over in Chicago, for example. it is
sometimes necessary to employ police
man to supervise the supervision of the
SIIpcrvisOr.-CO COHrier-JOWWdI.
Senator Scott. talking to Il PennsyI
vania Sunday school. recently. asked
the scholars why Simon was kept in
prison one of the teachers quietly
prompted ii boy to say that il was for a
hostage. and the youth not quite catch
ing the word, piped ont: He WAS de
tanned for postage.
An Elm street boy while under the
painful lallucination that he was Mo-
doc buried pin-hrad arrow into his
fathers leg. Saturday, very much to the
surprise of that individual. The old
gentleman recovered sufficiently how
ever To impress this scion with the be
lief that he had actually sat on IA lava
bed.