The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1873-11-29
The Poctical Cook. Book.

How to make an ordinary love pocm.-
Take two large and tender human hearts
which match one another perfectly. Ar
range these close together. but preserve
them from actual contact by placing bc.
tween them some cruel barrier. Wound
them both in several places, and insert
through, the openings thus made a tine stuff
tin- Of wild warnings. hopeless tenderness,
and general admiration for stars. Then
completely cover up one heart with >utli-
cicni .I,,antity Of chill clurch-yard mould.
which may he garni,hed according I" taste
with dank waving weeds or tender vi"lct>
and promptly break over it the other heart.
\ recipe for a pathetic marine l"Gm.-
Take one midnight storm. and one fisher
man ; family. which. il the poem is to he
real success. should be rs large and "a hum
Try rs possible. and must contain at least
one iniu.rmt infant. Place this brat in a
cradle. " it'll the mother singing over it. he
inu careful that the babe he dreaming Of
angels. or else smiling swcctly. Stir the
father well up in the storm until he diSa9-
pears.
How To- r,l,c."'t an epic l"cm.-Take one
lla,nrlr>, priy. set him upright in the
middle Of round table, and place beside
him y beautiful wife who cannot abide
priyS. Add to this one married """lly
man, and tie the three together in 4 bundle
with - link or tw" Of destiny. Proceed
next +" surround this group with large
number Of men and women of the nine
ircnth century. in fancy ball costume, fla
vnrrd with Il great many possible vices ana
a few Impossible virtues. Stir these brisk
~ about for two volumes, to the great an
mnya,,rc Of the blamclcss prig. VIII" l..
L.. I,,1 r,fi,ll, ls.,lnxy
iny-I",int for the whole time. II he once
M,ils over int" any natural action or cXcla-
nation. he is forthwith, worthless. and you
must get another. Next break the witc's
reputation int" small pieces, and dust them
well over the blamclcss prig. Then take
irw vial. m trihulati"n and empty these
generally over the whole ingredients of
your poem and. taking the sword Of the
hcatlrn. cut int" small pieces the great er
pant "f your minor characters. Then
wound slightly the head of the blamcle>>
priy remove him suddenly from the table.
and keep in a cool barge for future use.
\ Poem of "Swcctncss and Light. -
Take one soul full Of involuntary umbclief.
which has been previously well favored
with sclf-sati,tiel despair. Add t" this
one beautiful text "f Scripture. Mix these
well together. and, as soon as ebulliti"n
commences. CRATE in finely n few rcgrctful
illusions to the New Testament and the
Lake Of TibcriaS. one constellation Of stars.
half a.lozcn all,,sion, to the nineteenth CEN
tury. one to Grtlic, one to Mont Blanc, or
the Lake of Geneva, and one also. il p">>i-
hlr. (" some personal bereavement. Fla
vur the whole with mouthfml Of faiths
and intinitcs.' and mixed mouthful Of
"passi"ns, inites. and ''yearningS.
This class If poem is concluded usually
with some question. about which We have
only I" observe that it shall bc impossible
to answer.
How t" make Browning or analytical
pucn,.--Takc r.,tlcra coarse view Of things
IN general. In the midst "f this place Il
man and woman. his and hcranklcs taste
fully arranged on slice Of Italy or the
country about Pornic. Cut an opening
across the breast Of each. until the soul be-
comes visible: hut Lc very careful that
none Of the body he lost during the opera
ti"n. Pour int" each breast rs m,,cl, rs it
will hold Of the new strong wine If love.
and for fear they should take cold 10y expo
sure. cover them up quickly with Il lllanti
~ of obscure classical quotations.. few
familiar aiiu> i"n> 1" an unknown period Of
history and Il half destroyed firsc" 10y an
early master. varied every now and then
with reference t" the fugues or tWcat"s Of
quite forgotten composer. II the poem
be- still ineligible. take u pen and remove
carefully all tl,c-ncr cssary PARTICLES.
\ Byrnic Satanic locm.-Takc couple
't tine deadly xi"s. and let them hang
before y",r eyes until they become r:.cy.
Then take them down. dlis>ect them. and
stew them for some time in y solution Of
weak r,nnr>c after which they are to bc
.lcvilcd viii, mock despair.
How to prepare a SwinbuInian patriotic
ragmt.--rakc one disappearing patriot
who has been hunger buried for some time,
together with the oppressed country be-
longing I" him. Soak these in Il quantity
"f rotten sentiment till they arc completely
>'aldcn. and in the meantime get ready an
indefinite number 81 Christian kings and
priests: kick them till they are nearly
dead add c"l'i"u> broken fragments Of the
Catholic Church. and mix all together
Thoroughly. Place them in heap upon
tl" oppressed country: season plcntiiuliy
with vrry coarse expression: and on the
top carefully arrange your pat, ;nt. gar
mishc'l with laurel ar parsley. Surround
with artificial hopes for the future. which
are never meant I" bc tested. This kind "f
poem is r"'kcd in vcrbiasc. favored with
liberty. the taste Of which is much height
cied by the Introduction Of few high
gods and the game Of fortune.