The Van Buren press., 1873-02-18
titudes. O,t heard one of them say !:

Alexander McGlue. ! picked up your
paper this morning, aad percsiying in it
an outrageous insult 10 my deceased rel
ativs, aad have come around to demand
sir, WHAT DO YOU MEAN by the following
Infamous language;
"The death angel smots Alexander McGlue.
And gave him protracted repose
He wore checked shirt and number nine shoe
And ho had a pink wart On HE nose.
No doubt he is happier dwelling in space.
H .sa takes place
Precisely at quarter-p past four.
"This is really diaboicsl! Ny late
brother had no wart on his nose, sir. He
had upon his nose neither a pink wart,
nsr green wart, nor . cream colored
wart, nor wart Of any other color, IL
is slander! 1t is Rratuitous insult to
my family, and | distinctly want you to
say uhat you mean by such conduct "
Really. sir, :" said Brimmer, 4" 1t is a
mistake. This is the horrible work ofan
incendiary miscreant whom trusted as
brother He shall be punished by my
own hand fer this outrage A pink
wart Awful! sir--awful. The miser-
able scoundre shall suffer for this-he
shall indeed!'
"How conld know, murmured OFT,
out there bv himself, "that the corpse
haants pink wsrt2 l used to know
,..G named MeGlue, and he had one, and
[ hought al the MeGlues had. This
comes of ire e1u's rites in families
Aud who. - said another man, ad-
I-rssisr The editor. authorized you to
ra. sacl hiieeus s'uf about my de-
ceased sons t'o ysa mean to say that
IL vas not visa ,oar sathority that your
ioe sauaoiaa psecled with My adver-
i.crtrrt tio following scsnaalous bur
esq Listen t. tms:
willie had purple monkey climbing on "yellow
And when he sucked the paint all of, it made him
deathly sick .,
And in hs latest hours he clS''ed that monkey IN
And bid good bye to earth, and went into better
land.
"oh no moro be'll shoot his sister with his little
And no more he'll twist the pu.,y's tail. and make
The pussy's tail now stands out sraght the gun is
The monkey doesn jump around. since little Willie
"The utterly atrocious character OF
this bladerdash will appear when | say
that William was 81 years old, that he
never had a purple monkey on stick,
that he never sucked such thing, thai
he never fooled with cats, and that he
died Of liver complaint
Z" Infamous! - utterly Infamous "
groanod tho editor, as he cast his eyes
over the lines. "And the wretch who
did this still lives! 1t is too much |"
".And yet. " whispered OFT to himself.
"he told me to tighten the gloom and
cheer the afflicted family with the re
sources Of my art and certainly tho't
that idea about the monkey would have
that effect, somehow. 1t is ungratcful. "
Just then there was knock at the
door and a woman entered, crying:
Are you the edi.orH she inquired
Of Brimmer
Brimmer said he was.
W-w.well !" she said. in voice bro
ken by sobs, "wh what d'you meas by
publishing this kind Of poetry ab-about
m my johnny? M-my name is Smith,
and VIII when | looked this morning for
the notice of Johnnys d death in y your
paper, l saw this awful, wicked, wicked
v.verse:
Pour doctors tackled JOHNNY smith
They blstered and they bled him:
With squills and anti bilious pills,
And ipscac thoy fed him.
They stirred him up with cslomel,
And tried to move nis liveri
But all in vain-his little soul
Was waited FER the River. 4"
cit is false! false that's what it 10.
Johnny only had one doctor And they
d didn't try to IN. m. move his liver, and
they d,didn't bl bleed him and bl blister
him lisa wicked falseho0d, and you're
a hard hearted brute for printing it,"
Madam, l shall go crazy if you con-
tinue," exclaimed Brimmer. This is
not my work 1t is the work Of a SET
pent whom warmed in my bosom, and
whom / will slay with my own hand as
soon "a he comes in. Madam, the mis-.
rattle outcast shall die!'
Strange strange mused OFT "And
th's man told Inc TO combine elevating
e.nt.m N, With practical information. If
IT, .niormation concerning the squills
..ai igerac IA not practical, | have mis-
aB3arstoed The use Of that word. And
il yauuq Smith didn', have four doctors
Il was an outrage He ought to have
had them. ami the, ought to have cxcit
cd his liver Thus it is thought OFT,
" that human life is sacrificed to careless
ness
At this juncture the sheriff entered, his
brow clothed with thunder He had a
copy of tho Morning Glory in his hand
He approached the editor, and pointing
to a death notice said:
Read that horrible meckery Of my
woe, and tell me the name OF the writer,
so that can chastise him. "
The editor read 40 follows:
We have lost our little Hsnnsr in a very painful
And =. often asked. How can her harsh 'unsrins'
When her death was hr'. reported, her aunt got up
With the grief that she supported, for it made her
feel forlorn.
She was such little s'rsph that her father who is
Really doo,nt seem to care If he never smiles in
She has gone, We hope to Heaven, at the early age
Funeral star.. OF at sleven) where she'll s'vor
more have pain.
GAS a consequence Of this infamy, !
withdraw all the county advertising from
your paper. A man who could trids in
thi. manner With the feelings Of parent
il savags and scoundrsl!' y
A. tho Sheriff vent mt Brimmar plac-