The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-05-08
The Miniature Musical Box.


WHEN Mr.. Bangs, the elder, returned
from Europe he brought with him from
Geneva miniature musical box, long and
very narrow, and altogether of hardly
greater dimensions, say, than large
pocket knife. The instrument played out
cheerful little tunes for the benefit of the
Bangs family, and they enjoyed it very
much. Young William Bangs enjoyed it
to such an extent that one day just after
the machine had been wound up ready
for action, he got up sucking the end oft,
and in moment of inadvertence it slipped,
and he swallowed the whole concern. The
only immediate consequence of the acci-
dent was that a harmonious Stomdch-ache
was Immediately organized upon the in
terror of William Bangs, and he expert
would defy the soothing tendencies of
peppermint, and make mockery of pare
goric.
And William Bangs kept his secret in
his own soul, and in his stomach, also,
determined to hide his misery from his
father. and to spare the rod to the spoiled
child-spoiled at any rate as far as his di-
gestive apparatus was concerned.
But that evening at the supper table
young Bangs had eaten but one mOuthful
of bread, when strains of wild, mysterious
music were suddenly waited from under
the table. The entire family Immediately
CROPPED around upon the floor, trying to
discover whence the sounds came, al
though William Bangs sat there filled with
agony and remorse. and bread and tunes,
and desperately asserted his belief that the
music came fromsMary Ann. who might
perhaps be playing upon the harp or dull
elmer in the cellar.
He well knew that Mary Ann was un-
familiar with the harp, and that the dull
elmer was as much ihsOlvable to her as it
would have been to fishingworm and
he was aware that Mary Ann would have
scorned, under any circumstances, to
evoke music while sitting on the refrig-
orator or reposing in the coal-bin. But
he was frantic with anxiety to hide his
guilt. Thus it is that one crime leads to
another.
But he could not despise the truth for
~, .i,~. -e-s- ,,;ch+ uhila tho fo,,il,-
was at prayers, William Bangs all at once
got the hiccups, and the music-boX started
off without warning with "a Life on the
Ocean Wave, and Home on the Rolling
Deep" with variations. Whereut on the
paternal Bangs arose from his knees and
grasped William kindly hut firmly by the
hair, and shook him up, and inquired
what he meant by such conduct. And Will
liam threw out kind of a general idea to
the effect that he was practicing something
for a Sunday-school celebration which old
Bangs estimated was singularly thin ex-
| planation.
Then they tried to get up that music
box, and every time they would seize
young William by the legs and shake him
| over the sofa cushion, or would throw
some fresh variety of emetic down his
throat, the harmonium within gave fresh
squirt and joyously ground out, '.Listen to
the Mocking Bird" or "IhOul't Never
| Cease to Love-"
So they abandoned the attempt, and
were compelled to permit the musical box
to remain within the sepulchral recesses
of the epigastrium of William Bangs. To
say that the unfortunate victim of the dis
aster was made miserable by his condition,
would be to express in the feeblest manner
there was in his stomach, the wilder and
more completely chaotic became the dis
cord of his soul.
Just as likely as not it would occur that,
while he lay asleep in bed, in the middle of
the night the melody works within would
begin to revolve, and would play 'Home
Sweet Home," for two or three hours, I'M
less the peg happened to slip, when the
cylinder would slip back again to Life on
the Ocean Wave and Home on the Roll
ing Deep" and would rattle out that tune
|
until William Bangs's brother would
! kick him out of bed in wild despair, and
sit on him in vain efforts to subdue the
serenade, which, however, invariably pro-
ceeded with fresh vigor when subjected
, to unusual pressure.
And when William Bangs went tC
7 church it frequently occurred that, in the
very midst of the most solemn portion o.
the sermon, he would feel a gentle dis
! turbance under the lowest button of his
= Jacket; and presently, when everything
, was hushed, the undigested engine would
! give preliminary buzz, and then reel OF
''Thoult Never Cease to Love-" ant
! scales and exercises, until the clergyman
: would stop and glare at William over hi
:, spectacles and whisper to one of the dea
! cons. Then the sexton would suddenl!
! walk up the aisle, clutch the unhappy Mr.
: Bangs by the collar, and scud down tn
aisle again to the accompaniment of :"
Life on the Ocean Wave and Home ol
/. the Rolling Deep" and then incarce
rate William in the upper portion of tn
e steeple until after church.
Il But the end came at last, and the mis-
II erable offspringof the senior Bangs foun
II peace. One day while he was sitting i
e the school endeavoring to learn his mu
Ie tiplication table to the tune OF ''Homt
IS Sweet Home" his gastric juice tr
4, umphed. Something or other in tn
,e music box gave way all at once, tn
At springs were unrolled with alarmin
le force, and William Bangs, as he felt tn
Y fragments of the instrument hurled rigf
a.. and left among his vitals, tumbled over o
j. the floor and expired.
4 At the post mortem examination the
a. found several pieces of "Home, Swe,
y Home'' in his liver, while one of his lunl
10 was severely torn by fragment of 6
of Life on the Ocean Wave" Small particl
IN of"Listen to the Mocking Bird" were +
In moved from his heart and breast-bone ,ar
lis three brass pegs of "Thoul't Never Cea
to to Love" were found firmly driven in
IT. his fifth rib.
h, They had no music at the funeral. Tn
O. sifted the machinery out of him, quiet
tn in the cemetery. Whenever the Bangs
g. huV musical b0Xes now thew pet them