The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1873-08-14
An Attack On Tea

A writer in st. PauliS Magazine
boldly arrays himself against the opin-
ion of all the old ladies in the land.
and declares that tea Is not only in
furious to the health but sis a cause 81
national decentralization" The fol-
lowing gives an idea of his argument: !:
"The iDjudiciOus use of alcohol often
leads to acts of violence, but It does
not stimulate the instincts of craft. IL
makes people sing 'Auld Lang Syne,'
or He's = Jolly Good Fellow . it
makes them laugh or cry or Jump
about, or fall down fiat, or embrace
each osher, or swear eternal friend
ship or eternal enmity, or give eaC.l
other black eyes it even makes men
beat their wives. It never makes men
sly. A man far gone in drink never
forges check. l do not believe there
is drunken detective on the police
force. But watch the effect of tea.
You never find people singing 'AuId
Lang Syne' over their tea, nor do they
fight over it. All is calm and peace
ful on the surface. But underneath
/ never drink tea without feeling as if
1 should like to Over-reaeh somebody
directly. l feel as if it would do me
good to go in for competitive exRmi-
nation on the spot. L invent wooden
nutmegs and dummy ship bolts.
long to start bubble companies and
forge trademarks. In a short time
experience a general relaxation OF
fibre. find 1 have DO physical
courage, no patriotism, no love Ofman
as man, no motto but ca ledn eBlytTT,
or the devil take the hir imost. lam
convinced that there is more short
weight given by tea drinking shop
keepers than by tipsy ones. All this
seems to agree with the alleged effect
of tea upon the animal economy i'm
arresting waste. As it makes you
want to keep all you get, it is natural
that it should make you want to get
all you can.
az invite the attention of the pathO-
logists, psychologists, reformers and
legislators to this great question.
While we have been turning our eyes
upon the more obvious and vulgar
evils attendant upon the free use OF
alcohol, we have been overlooking the
insidious action of q bland and peace
ful liquid which has been sapping the
foundations of manhood and honesty.
Alcohol sends few to Jail or to the
madhouse. But tea acts through the
nervous system on the conscience, and
turns us into q nation of sneaks. Let
us, then, take Instant action. II
would be difficult at present, to pro-
hibit entirely the sale of tea, but pray
do what you can. You do not hesi-
tate to pick my pocket in order to ed
ucate somebody else's child. Why
should you hesitate to rob me of eth
er money or pleasure in order to pre-
vent the relaxation of other peoples
moral fibre by the use of tea ?
HI say, let the whole tea trade be
placed under immediate Legislative
checks. Set up visitors to go from
door to door, as your school board in
quisitors do, and let them inquire in
to the quantity of tea drunk in every
household whether black or mixed
and the strength of the infusion. Let
every tea dealer keep q register OF his
customers, and if, upon monthly Ol
quarterly average it is found that his
sales go beyond quarter of pound 9
year for each adult, fine him or mai
his ear to the door, or something o.
that sort. Perhaps the recent reaction
in favor of severity would even sup
port you in applying the cat in such
cases. All the favor / ask is that a.
soon as ever any Parliamentary rival
of Sir William Lawson has made NJ
his mind to bring in bill to carry oul
these objects he will oblige me with s
private intimation so that / may take
care of myself, Il am fond of teal BY
laying in stock that will last my
natural life, or (sinee tea deteriorate:
by keeping) that may have time t.
import or cultivate the tea plant 1t
self. If such conduct as this on the
part of the introducer of such a bill
seems little at variance with princi
pie, it will at least be admitted that i
is in harmony with that spirit o
enlightened compromise which dis
tinguishes our age.