The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-09-10
SCRAPS.

maps tue Wotst.
The monument to Greeley ought
to be an imposing stone.
A Philadelphia razor-man was
rece tly presented with a "strap-
piag biz boy"
The first postal card received at
Dubuque was from lady, ana
rlarked "prI'ate.'
Mert, Twain modestly denies that
j. > the nan alluded to in the line,
Mark the perfect man.
Euchro players are the only par
st. .es allowed to ''pass' on the Union
.pacifc Railway now.
Have YOU lad your mornings
morning this mo:uing: IS the
--latest. way Of putting it.
An Indiana reporter tells of a
case Of poisoning by the use OF
corrosive supplement-
How natral it IL for man, when
he makes mistake, to korrekt 1t
by cussing somebody else for it.
Note by a Chiropodist lin the
country for the first tlme): "Must
be 7ery painful-corn in the ear
The aurora, organ of the Illinois
State Agricultural College, speaks,
of fattening hogs as "susiculture. -
Why are your eyes like friends lie,
separated by distant climes? They
correspond, but do not meet.
Love matches are often formed
by people who pay for a month OF
honey with q lite Of vinegar.
"a cackling old newspaper fowl
is the epithet applied by one Sac
ramento editor to another in a re-
ceut argument.
A Jersey paper describes a man
as being ':as sociable as batch CT
candidates two weeks before cleo
ton"
A wise man being asked how old
he was, replied, II am in heaIth;'
and being asked how rich he was,
II am not in debt"
ga valuable new silk umbrella
belonging to a gentleman with a
curiously carved head Is called
for.
We dou't know how it was done,
but Wisconsin man claims that
his best hen Matched twenty-six
chickens from twenty-four eggs.
Equality" says a French writer,
"means q desire to be equal to your
superior, and superior to your
equal
Rural journalists are complain
ing that the long daylight OF this
time Of year induces ruinous
scarcity Of kerosene items.
A Wabash editor returns thanks
for a ccntipede sent him by mail
from Texas, being the first cent OF
any kind that he has seen tor a
mouth.
In au advertisement Of bakers
business Cor sale, the following ap-
pears: death the sole reason for
leaving" 1t would be difficult to
find better.
A local geologist of Terra Haute
saws that any person having taste
for gold mining can clear from
ro,w u sixty cents a day almost
anywhere n Vigo County, Indian >
Literary gent at Saratoya to
shoddy Miss: "IIave you read Shak-
.peare?" shoddy Miss: "Ofcourse
+ have. I read them when they
fust come out"
A passenger on an carly train,
coming out on the platform and
catching a sniff Of pure air, enthu-
siastically exclaimed: ''Isn't this
oxhiieratipg?" No, SIR politely
replied a learned brakeman: "lt's
McComb City,
An editor once wrote: eve have
received a basket Of Strawberries
from Mr.. Smith, for which he will
receive our compliments, some OF
which are four inches in clrcum-
ference"
"Aly man, what's your charge for
rowing me across the Firth :!
Boatman-'Weel, sir, 1 was jist
thinkin' I Gamma break the Sawhath
.duy for no less than fifteen shuI-
ln'sn'
An old topper of sixty called on a
doctor to get remedy for inhamed
ewes. The doctor told him he was
under the impression he could cure
him: but it would be necessary to
leave off drinking entirely. "Then
farewell. eyes" said the inturiated
.drunkard.
One of our exchanges thus rea-
SONS witt. the man who don't take
the papels-excep; when he takes
them from his neighbors: Now l
tell you, squire, the day Will come
when somebody will write a long
-a,lonu ON uonr life. character, etc.,