The Hickman courier., 1873-07-05
HUMOROUS.


why is this? On Sunday last the light
ming struck two churches, Baptist and
German Methodist, but never toucheA
one of the saloons How is that foil
providential ?" The minister replied
All right That's just III accordance
with our theory. Some folks get their
lightning in this world; others have it
in reserve for the next.
THE QUAm.-The quail IL game
bird, about one size bigger than the
robbin, and so sudden that they hum
when they fly. They have no song, but
whissell for music; IL tune IL solitary
and sad. They are shot on the wing,
and man may be good in arithmetic,
fust rate in parseing, and even be able
tew preach acceptably, but if he hadn't
Studded quail on the wing, he might
az well shoot at streak ov lightning
in the sky az a quail on the go. Briled
quaiIs properly supported with iellys,
toast and champan@Eharlie, IL just
the most difficult think, in mi humble
opinyun, to beat in the whole history
ov vittles and sumthing to drink. [
am no gormaud, for 1 kan eat bred
and milk five days out ov seven, and
smak mi lips after git thru; but if
am asked to eat briled quail by a friend
with iudishious accompanyments,
blush at fust, then bow mi he'd, and
then smile sweet acquiescence, in other
words. always quail before such re-
ouest.--.Josh Billings ,s =, s''sil, f1e
lyE- have 1@Ssl3 .-.-,-e--4ssTeVe us IN lhe
fntrrra froin tlfe-perseeutions of life in
surance agents and book canyasse1s.
It is in the nature of a patent combi-
nation rehex-action door-scraper. we
fasten it down by the side of the low
est step in front of our house, and
wait until book canvasser comes along,
which one is tolerbly certain to do with
in fifteen or twenty minutes. The can
vasser stops to scrape his boots, while
he thinks up some new and vigorous
exapgeration with which to impose on
ns As his foot touches the iron two
clamps fly over his instep and hold hlm
fast a stee! claw suddenly shoots up
legs and grabs his trousers, trap flies
open in the pavement, and the victim
il bauled into a coal-cellar, where we
have an infuriated Irishman engaged to
mellow him and fiatten him out with
scoop-shovel or a hak&let. We allow
the Irishman a royalty upon the re-
mains, and he seems to be animated by
| an earnest enthusiasm which promises
rich results. If the machine works well
we shall either buy a graveyard or
found a medical college. In the mean
| time. persons in want of bodies for dis
/ section or other purposes will please
apply. These corpses will be closed
| at n sacrifice to cash purchasers.
How TO PREVENT HENS FROM EAT
ING THEIR EaGs.-The country gentle
man suggests way to prevent hens eat
| ing their eggs. 1t is to fill an egg with
a solution of pepper, and put the egg
back in the nest. A Danbury man has
tried this and says it works like
| charm. He put a pretty goose dose OF
pepper in the egg, and placed 1t In the
nest of the criminal. Pretty soon the
hen came around and took hold. i
was a brindle animal with long legs, ant
somewhat conceited. 1t dipped in it
bill and inhaled the delicacy. Then
came out doors. 1t didn't gallop out
we don't mean, but it came out to lool
, at the scenery, and see if it was goinI
TO rain. It's mouth was wide open, an
the feathers on top of its head stoo
straight up. Then it commenced to
around the yard like circus horse
Once in a while it would push out on
e leo in astonishment, and then hole
n q fire. and start on again. The othe
L hens came out to lock on. Soon tn
d hens from the neighborhood came ov'
2, the fence. and took up position of ol
IS seryation. 1t was quite evident IL
1t performance was something entire
he new and unique to them. There is a goo
~ deal of human nature in hens. Wh'
IN tbey saw this hen dancing around al
It, have all the fun to itself, and heard
ld shout ssfire," and couldn't see the co
tie aaoration themselves, they filed
et with wrath, and of one accord spral
q upon it, and before the Danbury m
ut could interfere, the brindle hen WI
the long legs was among the things u
M we're. He says the recipe is effectual.
mt Danbatry Nee0s.
re
nc THERE are forty oranges, with a me
+es bership of over 1000, in Bourbon COZ
of tv. Kan, and their association has
ion ready resulted in pr,caring agricul
IN raj implements at half the forr
CIV --o,,oxol e1,,,,lias at an Az