Weekly Trinity journal., 1873-02-01
MARK TWAHN'S LAST.
How Escaped Being Killed i'm II
Duel.

to curry favor with the religious element
After l had reported couple of years
on the Virginia City (Nev) Ddity Enter
prise, they promoted me to be editor-in-
chief-and | lasted just week by the
watch. But made it an uncommonly
lively newspaper while | did last, and
when | retired had duel ON my hands,
and three horse whippings promised
me. The latter | made no attempt
to collect; however this story concerns
only the former. 1t was the old Flush
times " of the silver excitement, when
the population was wonderfully wide and
mixed ; everybody went armed to the
teeth, and all Sights and insults had to
be atoned for with the best article of
blood your sytcm could furnish. In the
course of my editing | made trouble
with n Mr.. Lord, editor of the rival pa
per- He flew up about some triAe or
other that | said about him-I do not re-
member now what it was. | suppose
NNliNu MN NlllCls VI Nl Hlipt, OT Sbille-
thing like that. | was obliged to make
the paper readable, and could not fail
in my duty to a whole community OF
subscribers merely to save the eNagger-
atcd sensitivcness of an individual. Mr..
Lord was offended, and replied vigorous
ly in his paper. Vigorously means n
great deal when it refers to n personal
editorial in frontier newspaper. Duel
ling was all the fashion among the upper
classes in that country, and very few gen
themen would throw away an opportuni-
ty to fight one. To kill person in a
duel caused man to be even more look
ed up to than 20 kill two persons in the
ordinary way. Well, out there if you
abuse man, and that man did not like
it, you had to call him out and kill him
otherwise you would be disgraccd. So |
challenged Mr., Lord, and did hope he
would not accept but | knew perfectly
well that he did not want to fight, so
challenged him in the most violent man
ncr. And then sat down and suffered
and suffered till the answer came. An
our boys-the editors-wcrc in our office
" "helping" mo in the dismal business,
and telling about ducls, and discussing
the code with lot OF aged rulliuns who
had experience in such things, and alto
gether there was a loving interest taken
in the matter, which made me unspcaka-
bly, uncomfortable. The answer camo-
Mr. Lord declined. Our boys were fu-
4rious, so was l-on the surface.
| sent him another challenge, and an
other and another; and the moro he did
not want to fight the bloodthirstier | be
came; but at last the mans tone changed.
He appeared to be waking up. 1t was
becoming apparent that he was going to
fight me after all. ought to have known
how it would be-he was II man who
never could be depended upon. Our
boys were eXultant. | was not, though |
tried to be.
1t was now time to go out and prac-
tice. 1t was the custom there to fight
duels with navy six shooters, at fifteen
PAGES, load and empty till the game for
the funeral was secured. We went to II
little ravine just outside of town, and
borrowed barn-door for targct-bor-
rowed it Of a gentleman who was absent
and we stood this barn-door up, and
stood II rail on end against the middle Of
on top Of the rail to represent his head.
He was very tall, lean creature, the
poorest sort of material for ducl-noth-
ing but line shot could fetch him,
and even then he nigh split your bullet.
Exaggerations aside, the rail was, of
courc, little too thin to represent his
body accurately but the squash was all
right. If there was any intellectual diff
ference between the squash and his head, ,
it was in favor Of the sqush.
Well, | practiced at the barn door, and
could not hit it and | practiccd ut the
rail, an could not hit that and | tried
hard for the squash, and could not hit
the squash. | would have been entirely
disheartcned, but that occasionally Grip
Piled one of the boys, and that encouraged
me to hope.
At last we began to hear pistols shots
near by in the next ravine. We knew
what they meant The other party were
out practicing too. Then was in the
last degree distressed for, of course,
these people would hear our shots and
send spies over the ridge, and the spies
would find my barn-door without wound
or scratch, and that would simply be
the end of me--for, of course, that other
man would be as bloodthirsty as | was.
Just at this moment little bird, no
larger than a sparrow, flew by and lit on
"A sage-brush, about thirty PAGES away,
and my little second, Steve Gillis, who
was a matchless marksman with pistol
much better than | was-snatched out
his revolver and shot the birds head off.
We all ran to pick up the game, and sure
enough, just at this moment some Of the
other duellists came recommending over
the ridge, and when they saw the bird,
Lords second said
"That was a splendid shot. How far
was it?"
Steve said with some Indifference, "Oh,
no great distance. About thirty PAGES"
"Thirty PAGES Heavens alive, who
did it?'
" My man-Twain."
"The mischief he did. Can lie do that
Oten?"