Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1873-03-20
BrCVitieS and LeyilieS.

G0' A Vallejo California; young lady
about to go off in the cars stepped into
the dark sitting room Of the depot to
kiss her fricnd Sarah goodbye. Owing
to the darkness, she didn't hit Sarah, brit
caromed on Chinalnan, and didn't find
out the mistake until John began yelling:
"Whatce for you so chdkeo me? Hi
yah No squeeze so muchee" One yell,
i, Hopping OF fominine garments, slam
med door and that girl was gone.
@D- Two ladies were in conversation
the other day One lady remarked that
| sparrows were useful in Kidding certain
cities of canker worms. The other lady.
laid snc would rather be tormented by
the latter than sparrows. Just then a
gentleman approached and was appealed
to. "Mr = 'Shich do YOU think the
worst, the sparrows or worms" He
blushed a little and said-"I don't know,
never had sparrows."
@-" What is the use of trying to be
'honest?" asked a young man the other
day of friend. "oh, you ought u try
it once and see,' was the reply. And
the young man wanted TO put head on
his plain-spoken friend.
NJ" Mamma," said q little girl,
"what's the meaning of book being
printed in 12mo?" "Why, my dear,s'
replied the mother, sit means that the
book will be published in twelvemonths."
Fact.
GS- The pert misses. of San Francisco
grammar school have mutinied against
the principal, who, to do them Justice,
would seem to bo an ignoramus general
ly. The girls grievances arb summed
up in this frank confession Of one Of
them to reporter: "We hate him; he
don't know anything; he's fool, and l
told him so-he don't smell good"
as- Mrs. Partington awalies from a
long stumber to say that she thinks this
thing of shaking hands across the bloody
sarcasm is all tom-foolery.
&s- Yhe GOLD snap moves the Bloom
ington Pantagraph to give this advice:
Marry warm:hearted girl, whether cold
weather affects you or not. Warm-heart-
ed girls are comfortable even In warm
weather, and in cold weather they are an
absolute necessity to mans comfort.
ass- Theplaint Of the bachelor will be
heard 10 more in the land. An ingeni7
Gus mechanic has invented buttons that
can be sewed on with screw driver.
/; m~ One of the Ohio papers tells about
a brave little boy. out there who found
broken rail on the railroad track, and
perceiving the peril in which the train
would be placed if it should come DASH
ing past without warning, sat out on the
fence for five long hours in the bitter.
winter cold, in order that he might carry
the first news Of the accident to his faith
er, who is LOCAL editor of paper publish
ed in the neighborlng village,
w A physician on presenting his
bill to the estate of deceased patient
asked, "Do you wish to have my bill
sworn to2" NO." replied the executor,
"the death Of the deceased is sufficient
evidence that you attended him profess
sionally,'
w An Iowa Falls woman put oou-
pie of dozen eggs into her bed SO they
shouldn't freeze while she was absent
four or fivo days, and on her return late
at night bounced into bed and bounced
out again.
ais a druggist recently received the
following prescription, with q request to
make itup! ".Fur Krmps: Tinot. kam-
FIRE, won ounce; tinct lodenum, a little;
tinct. kya6an pepper. two pen,!orth; klou-
form, a little, but NOT much, as it is a
dangerous medicine, Dose, half tea
spoonful when the kramps come on" 80