, 1873-12-06
IIULioR.

HUMoR.
Journalistic lignaaon-papor c'lolor.
This world Ii lihs 1nilk-it's oura.
"A great crash--A sscan,oat towel.
--Engnslng photographer" just look littlo
pleasant. mlss; think Of lm."
Tho ladlea are singing about the moth,
caton bnstle, tho old hon hustle, tho cloth.oalen
bustlo that hung OH 30 wo'l."
-TllD latest oycrcDat may DO called tho knoo
plus Ulstor.-LososH Courier.
-" a thing Of beauty ls h jan forevor," as an
American husband aaid OF lia handsome acold-
lug wife.
a Virginia husband oponod Lis wifo's lottoya
to SEQ who Was writing 10 1er, aud ho was Eout
to prison for ton years.
Upon tho +" outer wall" Of fcmato college
nt Akron, O., tho other morning,. was dihcov-
erod, eoutpcuonsly displayed, tho sign "Do-
did | It. " ''' ''p'A'''' AN'"A"' '''''s' ''''''l''
Bailey. Of Tho Danbury Ncps, commenced
aome romafis In prayer-meotnE recently, by
saying, aolamnly, ~ would rot live alwny; yot,
DOCTOR"
IL phronologst told man that ho had COM
ba'ivencsH very largely developed, aud was of a
qualrelsomo disposition. "lAat innt Nh" said
you down."
The hard timos also Affect tho Indians. Que
horse will now purchase two Apacho women, and
the owner Of tho women will throw in a dog or
two rather than spoil trade.
-Diggins drew . classic inspiration from
his thanksgiving dinner, and as Margaret re-
moved tho remains Of tho turkey from tho table,
ex9'almed: "De mortuis nil nisi bonum, A;tnt
Of tho dead but what IL good. Ono year old.''
THAT IL too liberal, Mr.. D. replied. Nothing
o'clock"
-Twsnty-soyon Nashville ladios, determined
to practice economy, vowed not to woar anything
more expensive tlan calico dtoB0cH to church;
and they stuck to it, as none Ut them hayo
attended, church since.
7-Nsvly;iedgea D. a. to his college tutor :,
I'vo nantel to ask yon which tailor mado your
clothcs." Tutor-"IIumph Fubbns iu tho
High" ., A." Much Obliged; I'll tsko
dooHid good caro- that ho mover makes mlae!"-
Fun.
"A nico question Of taato: Joroer-What
kind of chain would YOU like? Young Mat-
VOL, don't know, hardly. What kiud Of d
Chain would you think ou ,ht to laayo tlat is,
what Btylc would you think would DO tho ,nost
los to eoiuo of tllo bsst families IN tl1s town7
~ bachelor ut banquet in Nowsastla, Eng
land, gago the following toast: y Tho wotncu
and cosl H. Of Durham c3nntyIoh ow doAolas0
-"May Heaven cherish aud Keep you from
youra truly, John Smith," wa, the somewhat
ambiguous closing Of a loyo-lottor 1aceutly re-
ceyeu by young LADY,.
sight Of twoutY-pou',d dog drawing ninety
pound boy OIL q tiilty-pound Sled ia quito q COM
mon spoctacc.--Uti Herald.
Small coal-dcaler-"A Another penny, my
doar. TAoy'yo rix. ALI, Goals is GOALS, nova
daya.' Little girl-"I'm glad Of that. sir.
Mothor said all thelastlos we got woro slatea."-
Judy.
"a Colorado paper quotes m instance Of the
1t Says ali Ohio lady who could not sweep her
loom at home. after her arrival in Colorado was
alle to chase hor husband d mi1s with pitch
fork.
"A Sioux City Justice of tho Peace about to
| marry d couple, said: 's1loll up your right
| case?'
Medical man (gingor1y-" y think-pcrhaps
-you might-dyop line, and have your w'fo
p dGstor your always for such
--Au indiana boarliu,s-houa koaper has >
who don't 1il,e it is liar.
A Western paper, under tho heading OF
"Spprting NowB" copies tho announcement
that !" tic cots or Hartford are running ou full
tlnc."
Anything now in the way Of an obituary no.
tco III relief-somethsng like this. 70. instance,
from 4 Nevada newspaper: t'Tllo mauy illenda
Of Bill Thompson will regret to hear that ho was
Ni1on'a Hill, rhile lying in wait to shoot
Cuinan,a,l," sThia is always O. world of di4ap-
Pointuaons," philosophically concludes tic Nc
vada neWsnan.
allow is it that you came homo from your
party 10 carly last night, Susan? Dida't YOU
onjoy yourAelf2" susan-"Yos ma'am. But
the young man as lux ma hiu tu Hi: por in
suited NO." Mistrsss-" InaAltod you. Susan!
Why. What did ho aay?" 6usan-"yes ma'am.
lle nakel II my program vas full: aud I'm suro
l never 'ad nothing but q sandwich Aitl glass
Of lemonade, 30 colo away homo"
Wa haro seen stick OF wool weighing
scarcely four OUNCES fall from ! boys arm. aud
Ktrikiug uu his toes render him incapable ol fur
tler action for houts aftorwatd, wnllo tho aA.na
boy has slipped With pair Of nkatos. and, strik-
ing on tho back Of hiH head with sufficient fnscs
to split that article open, has not only reached
his feet uuailod, but has giyon tho boy vino
laughed at lin oua Of tho most astonishing
wLaling8 lie evor oceiycd.-Daabu,y Nt,rs.
Tho Portland Transcript tells story Of tho
Hov. Alr. Burroughs, Of Portsmouth,. who gone
years ago spent several wosEs OH Star Island.
for the benoft Of his health aud, the pulpit OF
the little stono church being unocoupied, he vol.
upteored to preach for tile people during hia
stay. Tho church waa accordingly on eued, aud
he mnstered unto them to their apparent nc~
eoptance. Tho preacher. however, did not loar,
iu what appreciation Ills labors we're hold until
he prepared to maks lis departure. wlsn hb in-
toreatod hearers sout Lin bill for tic uso Of
tue church.