Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1873-09-17
a Martyr to Science.

wiie had brother, who became m
pfother-iii-law; and through hi,
caiie my man! tribulalions. jim WA
hh inventive genius, hardly out q
the cradle before he invented pateu
scii-rocking crib, with churuinr n,
taciimcnt. lie was au enthusiast
iciiow, and worried as MANY n. fly
uoss OF The ncighborlood into -
uniimely grave, attaching them Z
Mtf'ihS machines, and bug-mas!lcr:
ana lawiI-watercrs, and such like
W men he was ten he made u double
| 'hcrciheht momcnt"m welcomed
WIN one wheel. like II drum an!
having got inside and wound il m. i
rushed through the street like
'h'itHcr-%Ist trying to catc,, the maj
i"aPpie-Women went heels over lira,!
Inc mir was filed with cautclopcs an,
eardcn-!rick geucra!ly-a,,d siiIl,Iir
foiieu on. lie hati.'t ANY stunuim.
apparatus; and, aficrjumpiu. u five
rail- renee aud racing tiirotrrh n mas
'hre, hc Just pumped into the rive
anu 'iiio 10 swim ashore. Eut non,
OF MS steam plauos and fire balloon
anu hyin@ machines hurt Inc anv
hcv al went up or down or on
before Jim's father died. and he cam,
TO- 1--we withus. "iiinc WG lackryAin. ,
Then trouble begun.
Jim brought with him his labora
tory and workbench and all The i'm
picmcnts Of wrath that broumh,
"esoiat!on upon peaceful! household
anu forced me to seek refuge in /.
foreign lrEd-su 10 speak.
Jlln's first day passed quietly: bu,
ON the second hc brought out Il dou,
nie bach-action pca--iIellcr, that look.
cd Ike q young %closEcs-wringcr will
Il TN hustle. Mari:.--lnat's INV viii,
tried it, and ii mashed the peas AL
nV amd threw them into hrr bcs;
curralt-Jclly. just making ami then
when sii: tried TO take II off, .hc knock.
eu Tue lead rtf the tack -h;lluincr. ulJ
! MI bf!"get III the head, Cruising he,
/" sit down III tray of bread ,;ou.L
ahu suli turren Of,oup Oh the BABY,
i"or John Augustus has been bare.
looted Oh the left side OF III, head
ever since then, and the cat got SC
scare" that she ran through Ilc Aousl
ana upset Il bottle OF iHk on nv ullr.
uscript on the "Dr:: :ir, Rise ami EalI
OF The Custom OF Blowing tho Nusc
with the Fingers"
linen Jim 90. up a wrir"iu-- ma.
chime That tied my skirts i..io :, ,.uu.
h!c buw-knot, and mashed al. III;
Ouii"nS into fragments. i.c Iut 4
tcriiilHcr ui. -Mari4'.-i,ese rcrtcr,r-
aud they all jU>I curieu up u..I dIe..
he undertook to rid my scticr-,iv.. oi
iieas, but lie rid t!.e f!c1s OF the du.
lie got up Il pa.Ci.i rcrticL!-aCt!ug
garden gate; and as Bridget a,,. her
ptau were cooling over II. and lac
reached over 10 say "uod-by, II raisr,,
up and Eoisicd h.iu up about tour
feet, ana waved him rou-d. ar,,,
me'"hbur TUnkiu'S b,yi-l,uund c.rnr
along anu look L steak out Of lis he.
ic".
itc got UP a wccding-machiu2 that
chopped OH all the a>l"rS: an rut q
b"G-".!icr on the rosc-k;lshcS, awl
tu:htd item all yellow and blu. il
Diotchcs. He attached an upward
f2gd-ii!!ui. 10 ..ic kitchen ran~.. and
that E!.cd our tank auI nads il rui,
over, anh then worked backwards and
put Tie fire ou'.
Cnc morning we coul,;n't ret ;hc
shutters open, bccausr jim lad at
.ached q ncw-:anglch shutler-catch
mat wedGcd the whole frame i'm
lighter t!:"n tie devils grip on .
dad hackn:an. Wien | went away
on business, j III protected" the
house with burglar-a:ailn ;ha; yoIu
everybody up al one in the nlorniu"
WIN. song-rinciny that lasted M
'ioGr-hnd al Un accUlt:Gt ucuur Tb,r,-
Is cat coming III late from couriir"
H!E business requiring rlr to c". ~,
;"EiE sUintiiinC, and catch ir;.i,is -,
III "ncaritiIy hnur, and NV L.i.:t
liz tHtt Oi icavv >iCcirr. linn ,rr,
III an alarm b2d>fcad that uas 10
y axe nc "ii&t y certain hour. and igI
1idi! r!sr up IN my waX-worh.>
Top l., wouid pitch me cut Of LrL
he Af>t ti9!c tried 1t il wnrs,n,i
cry well. and reused me II tnrr.
clock !rUm dreams OF Ir, iuw -
.""i :; ".e..yl pi gold into the lil!inr
- 81! 'i",. nnt ;.. iuT:, ir.nt.:a;i,!l,
''hc, t'c sGui:t OF Il whfZziru
wheel WOKE up Maria. who rpirrI..
''fca t:e ihi".ilg1ut coni.iva:.r,.. ,i,d
,t"cI!ui!E dropped into II >urr, !
'''s.o Der, ~ which She trir,! oi. a sue /
e'si"'i 81 bunnc:s. C2v.. more c!;nrn,-
Hs ti:s!l tic others. Bat in ahnii,
ca hI;hiitcs the hca;l-bua;.tI yihro,rI
-'Htii lie mattress uuiyvrcd-ard !
h"h the Whole affair rose on its t;r,I
- @nh wr!g2!cJ-uropuinr Maria
IL" 1"tii' Augustus on tl.e floor. and /!
'ieH' n'!h'a!d!nS them viii. i!!ivw,
li'i iayliT { c mri!rc>s on them.
'"Ieu u""n TO HE bliss tU, cui!scinus-
ieS> "l having doEc lis duty. |,
NY wife :4Ei | lave tlrI and loft
lie Inventive James to take care of
he house alid Of hi:l>ciS. But v!,,i |
!,n!! We do! We dare no, return.
! { afc Wa!!dcrerS "n The fi.re OF the /
art!i, anti l 4 Martyr 10 Sci.nrc.
T.. JAEEKs.
+. S.-S;ncc writing Tie :...nyr I |
earn lhat jim has Eccn the victim. cf
is fertile genius. Desiring rro,.r- !
ion III our absence, he took my !
onbic-barrcl?cd gun and II ,o;l uf
cii-wirc, and intdc unto himself =. /
taa-irap and Il sHarr unto blr.la-.
ic set II We'll! Il i!alr-irirgrr. >, ih.,t
ny Ole turning tie uuul $40, v.ni,,I /
e a>s"iica VIZ! Il" guu :. m:,.,,::J :
! hen all was rc,ly Jim wcn: o;it to Z,
axe 100" 1T things. anh then. on
"i!ig IL 1" .i".t "vyr Imaginary
rp"tcr>, iurme,. !hc knob ans! t;;l,.'i
.s coa'-ta'i 81 fall or bwes>Eu, ,I,at
j. c!oIlcs locked like mad tf,iri
ii well. He taxes his ,nc.l,s stand.
- How. ai.,i El> a IilI.r ,.cljcarv
l"n, sitting down before ucur;r
ider or Younger ti!;ni !.ials. Il.
--------
A woman living in Il in t1,r
anton ui Zurich recently rvsuIir,! to
curious hIpdc of royen"r. licrrat.
Wh!rh she WAS cXrr;,iiuu"ii, .rnd.
az ior some reason or uIIi,.r Lc.n
l!!ru lay "n '!.i i'll. s." acrprdiu.sI, |,
r"rurcd scvcr.l muusctYa,,s and
"%ht some E'sy n,cr. wl.r,ir she
&C u>ct III q box and
rnt 10 tile oacnuing p ,rsnu. lie su>-
','ihS hn'hins. up d Tie packing.
'!'i was horiitlcd 10 see Il swarm OF
,,ce spin oat of tlc box a.l.: run
II over the place. AT the b"tto!n of
ne DON he f"Int II note roniaiuine
nc following words "Yoa have
iiica my cal, | have therefore the
ohor 10 send YOU my mice"
aoW 10 Swallow u Pal.
1hc Chicago Medical Times is re- I
nonsib!e for the following: Put
&c pi!!s EH!cr lie tongue and behind
4" teeth. an6 lei the p .ticni iHmedi-
lciy take Il large swallow of water.
nj lie " i'll ur;;uer feel the hill mr. ,