Beaufort Republican. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1871-1873, 1873-08-28
JAKE,S LUCK.

Whatever UstC MI. 0qulmps say
Oh, girls, to think of it-poor washed
out Amanda Liza, with her check aprons
and faded calicoes-to think of her
turning out an heiress Whew! it
takes my breath away. What'n Jake do
now, wonder?
Miss Jenny Smith was an. acknowl-
edged leader in the Squimps academy.
She had maintained her rotund person
and round good-natured face in spite
Of sour bread and scant rations. We
thin and starveling girls looked up to
her as a star of the first magnitude.
We clustered round her in high con-
clave, as she sat on desk in the school
room during the absence of our worthy
preceptor.
ooh, 8he'U never think of Jake
again" cried sharp-faced girl in the
corner.
"I'll bet she WILL" rejoined Miss
Smith, slapping her hand energetically
on her old grammer. Miss Smith had
big brothers," which may partly ac-
count for the vim with which she was
wont to express herself. "But oh,
don't I wish it was me To think that
Amanda Liza, that used to lend my
old collars too"
"Young ladies, Miss Bimm p cried
warning voice whereat Jenny, with
more haste than dignity, abandoned her
lofty position, and there was general
stampede for seats, as Miss Bimm, the
head teacher, came sailing in, followed
by MIR. Squimps, the principal, black,
tall, and solemn as the shadow of a
lamp-post. Now for stricter rules,
longer lectures on propriety, and gen.
eral surveillance founded "on certain
recent occurrences.
What would Mr.. Squimps say? Ay,
to be sure that was always question
of Importance, and Mr.. Squimps al
ways said a good deal. Here was an
especial theme for his eloquence for
this case of poor Amanda Liza, who had
been his bond. slave for ten years, cuff
ed and cornered, making no sign, md
at last turning out to have relations of
her own and heap of money, and leav-
ing his establishment "for good and
all in his absence, was a leetle too
much for human nature, as he declared.
For Mr.. Squimps did not disdain to
descend to "familiar colloquialisms "
once in while as relief from the high
mental strain of too much Latin and
lexicon.
Mr.. Squimps should have been a
public speaker-so his wife declared, SO
all his friends ffirmed-only the trouble
was he would never have known when
to stop. Once given a little rope, a
small vexation, an accidental jarring Of
his arrangements, and Mr.. Squimps
flowed out into limitless rivers of rhet-
oric. He argued his point down to the
last whittle, wound up speedily,
touched up his side whiskers, looked
round for applause, turned ever his
wristbands, and, berfore you knew it,,
began again.
This was a splendid opening, this of
Amanda Liza's-a girl whom he had
taken out of "pure " charity when her
folks died of fever, a girl whom he had
educated, brought mp in his very fam
lily, and-and-and- Mr.. Squimps felt
himself possessed on this occasion of
all the stock in trade necessary for an
orator.
"And Mr.. Squimps like a father to
her, too" cried Mrs. Squimps, eleva-
ting her shriveled little hands.
Mrs. Squimps was small wrinkled
lady, rustllng about of an afternoon in
stiff voluminous silk, so little, so
shriveIed, she seemed to rattle in it as
she walked, like withered kernel in a
walnut-shell. She had had the benefit
of Mr.. Squimps's eloquence the greater
part of her life, and was much like a
worn-out text-thin and thuRbed and
faded.
The good lady was humbly aware Of
her deficiencies. A mere bit of quartz,
she did not attempt to shine even in
her husbands refulgence. All real
authority in her department was dele
gated to Miss Bimm, who carried things
with arf air, taught the higher branch
es, and took the lead.
Mrs. Squimps merely took the kitch-
en-, eminently filter, as her husband de-
clared, for that department, which was
the foundation of all others. The fouA-
dation, prepared under Mrs. Squimp's
supervision, was not very substantial.
But elegance was tie aim, gentility the
law, at the academy, as Mr.. Squimps
obseryed. and no one asked twice for