The Portland daily press., 1873-02-01

a Kentucky gentleman, of Bourbon Coun-
ty, is handed out to fame for having worn the
same dress coat for thirty-two years. He
always wore it in the house, which accounts
for his not wearing it out.
The creditors of an absconding Western
banker found on opening his safe that the
only thing he had laid uptherc for rainy day
was an umbrella. Some Of them are inclined
to regard it as ''put-up job"
The English navyis about to discard the
open necked shirt, which, from time imme-
mortal, have given British sailors the bron-
chitis and pneumonia, and adopt different
style of throttle.
A junior student at Cornell University, in
rendering an account to his father of his last
terms expenses, entered as an item, "Char-
ity $780," His father wrote back: Il fear
that charity covers a multitude of SINS"
"Take your departure TO the abode of the re-
verberating echoes of Heavens Artilleryr'
angrily exclaimed q western Congressman to
an-ePponent, "or," he mildly added; in
plain English, 60 to thunder
Laura Fair, determined to lecture, has
been holding forth in a lager beer saloon in
San Francisco to mixed crowd, on
evolves in the Fold.r 1t is pretty certain
by this time that the wolves can't injure her
much.
Syracuse, N. T., believes In realism on the
stage. There is a play now performing there,
in which an actress stands with an apple on
her head which (the apple, not the head) ID
then shot off by an actor with an actual rife
real powder and genuine bullet.
An old German while on his way from In
dianapolis to Lafayette froze his nose. While
thawing the frost out of that very necessary
member he remarked: 81 no understand
dis ting. I haf carry dat nose forty-sever
years and he never freezed his self before"
1t was at Evansville, Ind, so the Courier
says, that well-dressed young man entered
the portals of a decoction palace, an evening
or so since, and, stepping up to the ''gentle-
manly barkeeper," requested him to mix a
"red-hot toddy," for he was goirg to see his
darling's father, and meant business"
Advertising always pays, and sometimes .
person making his wants known in this way
gets even more than he wants. A Boston
merchant lately announced to the public
through the newspaper that he wanted boy
and next morning two young but healthy
specimens were found on his door step.
The Louisville Courter-Journol thinks that
every newspaper editor-in-chiefshould habit
ually carry a double-barrcl shot gun, with
which to shoot down the subordinate who
persists in talking about ssfuneralvobsequies.' ,
1T is the only way we can think of to keel
him from talking about ebon charcoal, ceru,
can bluebirds and things of that sort"
Mrs. DR.. Lozier of New York publishes thu
statement that Mrs. Hyacinthe Loyson
when she was Mrs. Merriman, was never en-
gagged in the corset business, or any kind Q
business or trade, as has been reported, bu
she was the inventor of an ''hygicnic arrange
ment'' adapted to the dress of women, t
p event and counteract the effects OF tigh
lacing.
The Pittsburg young lady, returning from
the festive dance, prefers to climbin the window
rather than disturb the family. Miss Long at
| tempted this little feat the other morning
the window being fifteen feet above tne
ground. Not having practised climbing long
enough, or being too short herself 'ne ,ons
and short of the matter is, Miss Long rel to
the cold, cold ground. She won't go 10 any
more dances until the compound fractures Of
| her arm have healed