The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-09-04
OUR CHIP-BASKET.

Bellies of the kitchen-Wringing ma
chimes
John Smith lives in New York this year.
There are 24S of him.
A cook that "boils with indignation" is
| the greatest economist Of fuel known.
Should man be arrested for taking
things as they come?
a man who wanted to be minister said
he believed he had been called to labor in
the Lords barn yard.
The little boy with his first cigar and the
truckman with his gentle mule both tried to
back her and couldn't.
Mute admiration-That shown for his
sweetheart by fellow who neither hears ner
speaks.
Who is it whois always expecting quarter
and yet never gives any2 The tax-gatherer.
The leap year style ofpopping the ques-
tion now is, Don't You want me to wash
dishes for you.
The latest thing in engagement rings is.a
sapphire and ruby together, emblematical
oflove and fidelity.
II come to STEAL" as the rat observed to
the trap. "And spring to embrace you,"
as the trap replied to the rat
A man writing poetically Of the weather.
says, "The backbone of winter is broken, but
the tail wags yet occasionally"
To what would man tskiDg breakfast
with his betrothed be most likely 10 objectR
To take any butter (but her,
A Nebraska man recently sowed twenty
eight bushels Of wheat in three minutes
His team. ran away and the cereal was sowed
out through the end board of the wagon.
A Pittsburg coroner makes no charge
where he sits on young man who parted
his hair in the middle. He says that. his
personal satisfaction is enough without the
&C. -
"We are fearfuly and wonderfully made"
as the man, quoting Scripture, said to his
friend as they were looking the skeleton of a
donkey. .ea
A Texas paper thus defines its position:
SIN religion We are conservative, and We in
tend to adhere to the cash system"
b Always Sloasshc sun does LOOK q tBsg'
bright side Of everything; it is just as cheap
and three times as good for digestion
Men talk about the idle wind, but the
wind is always busy; and like the cheerful
farmer whistles at his work.
We know that system equal to many of
the New England and Northern States is
impossible at present; time alone can only
bring a school system into a state of almost
perfection.
"Mother did you hear Sissy swearing 2"
No, my dear, what did she say" "Why,
she said she wasn't going to wear her darned
stockings to church"
The following is copy of a notice dis.
played in a field near South London: 'La-
dies and gentlemen are requested not to
steal turnips Other persons detected will
he prosecuted.
The California mines are queer places
4 Golden State reporter heard ''the growl
of bear, the howl Of wolf, the voice Of
prayer, the cry ola child, and the clash Of
bowie knives" from one gulch.
A brother and sister, down in Maine,
both prepared for college, and both passed
the examination for admission to the Colby
University, and then the big, mean boy
declared that if his sister was going, he
wasn't.
81 am afraid dear wife, that while | am
gone absence will conquer love-" "Oh, ne
vcr fear dear husband; the longer you stay
away the better shall like YOU"
A lady wished a.seat. A portly, hand
some gentleman brought one and seated the
lady. eOh you're jewel" said she. "Oh,
no. he replied;''I am a jeweler. l have
just set the jewel"
"The winds getting round" remarked
Bibbs to his friend Buggins the other day,
when it changed from east to west. "Giad
of it, replied Buggns, it's been sharp long
enough"
"John," said doting parent to her gor-
mandizing son, do you really think You can
eat the whole of the pudding with impun-
ity ?" II don't know, ma" answered the
young hopeful; but Iguess | can with
spoon"
Forward and lOquacious youth-"By jove,
YOU know, upon my word, now-if / were to
see ghost, you know, should be a chatter
idiot for the rest of my life !" Ingenious
maiden (dreamily)-"Hare you seen
ghost ?"-Pnch
A Western farmer, it is reported, refused
to look at simple sewing machine recently,
as he always ''sewed wheat by hand" He
is said TO be related to the man who did not
want thrcshing machine on his farm; "for,"
said he. "give me harness-tug or barrel