Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-07-12
Miscellaneous Selections.
CHICKEN AND EGGS ARE OUT.
By oRPHEus c. KERR.

bf OkrHhuS G. KERR.
GO, hide the coop, there, Betsey, and nail the
we've city-boarders comm, and chicken and
Since Win Win NJ: Carleton made us the talk so far
There's been no end of town-folks for summer
board applied.
The FIRST one writin' to us,-that preacher, as he
About our little rampage and making-up had
read;
Our story'd touched his feelm's, and would we
His family for the season, and some deduction
make?
He only wanted quiet, and simply sun and air.
With eggs and milk and chickens, and such-liks
He wouldn't press press for oysters; but vegetables
Could not be served too frequent, himself and
wife to suit
For this he'd give three dollars, for each, all
round, per week,
And hoped our house was roomy-why, dang his
'tarnal cheek
nIwas worth million, and twice as much he
wouldn't feed a stomach by preachin' empty
made.
n' "fsIVI Of stVie' s' e1"' 'e' " - '' " 'O'N'
And wished his dame and daughters to rusticate
For, what with Saratoga, and Newport, in the
He'd found found his purse and patience were runnin'
out too fast.
And would we b'lieve, our Story had moved
them all to tears;
And had we nrst-noor bedrooms, with bath
rooms in their rears?
They wouldn' t ask for lfvin' in costly city-way;
But milk and eggs and poultry, must have three
times day.
The three young girls dyspepsy would call for
Graham bread,
And Madame took her coffee at early dawn in
bed;
And for himself, at breakfast, he'd take a beef
steak rare,
Nor think ten dollars, weekly, for all, much
more than fair.
It's one thing, for a poet our honest hearts to
And another, keepin' boarders, that profit us no
answered, quite sarcastic, "Just call when
you're about
And dnd, by knockin' vainly, that Betsey and l
are outl"
Then, there was what-you-call-him, the scrawl-
ing writer chap,
Who'd read the poem careful about our old mis-
And thought woman wrote it, because she
made the claim, .-.
And said that il she didn't, to cross her was
shame.
wecan't go back on women" his self-same
"At least 'twould be unworthy literary man
Our mothers sex we worship, Oh we should be
but churls; .a
Ihope you've got for neighbors some lively coun-
try girls.
my wife is at her mothers, and am out al
grass;
With taste for new -churned butter, and cream,
and rural lass
just give me trout for breakfast, and then wha
And little apple brandy to wash down bread
and cheese.
"I only ask for freedom to come and go at will,
And the right of fshin' Sundays by the nearest
water-mill: -
And dash Of sage and onions with the canvas
duck at noon,
And the use of team and wagon whenever there's
moon.
"we authors don't reap fortunes, and so you'll
Proportioned to my calling, and anything bu
III pay You, on my honor, you needn't fear
As soon as my Book can compass publisher fol
it,
Hpd gift of scriblin'. so glib as that, ant
Pd. make a mountain of dollars by teachin' I
writin' school.
"K ever your brass, I, wrote him, "som
folks should take for tin,
Be certain, for refrence' always, that -Betse.
and are in''
From people all over natur', with dollars
And over the hill to the poor-house we might a
As deal with the city-boarders who want bu
country fare.
We've got one family comm, from southwark,
Who never have heard about us in verse, nor ye
They merely want. they told us, breath of tn
And the kind Of dinner-table that we'd set any
way. .. f....
Between the town-folks selfish, who think a farr
IL made Hl
OF eggs and chicken and dairy, for which n
And them. more free and foolish, who never thin
But come, when they'd do better, at home,
precious sight -..b.
We, farming kind, get riley, to nnd the breed I
nat;
And where's our human natur' if we mad
We give to the ones we welcome potatoes, por
With sppie-pie and doughnuts, and spice
corn and beans.
But as for milk and poultry, and things in ski
We send them down to the city, for they we,
made to sell; r..
And IL twas them they wanted, these folks WI
range and roam,
They ought to know where to buy them, and tn
is in town at home.
so hide the coop, there, Betsey, and nail the hel
house etout
We've city -boarders comm, and chicken an
eggs are out;
And, what Il still more pesky, to happen the sci
same day,
Cur milk il Il all out, Mkewise-mtil they hs'
gone awsyi