The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1873-11-04
Iienls

The richest man in Denver is a Mcx-
can, with an Indian wife, AMI she leads
the fashions
Sixteen hundred men applied to fill
vacancies a. letter carriers, in Boston.
recently The salary is 5000 year.
In the employ of a firm in Newbureh,
New York, there are two men who fought
each other in four battles during the late
war.
They say that kissing lady with an
Elizabethan ruf1a on, is about as much
fun as embracing a circular saw 10 full
motion.
Bantering Cumberland mountain
wife on her choice, she replied with a
toss and a sparkle "l-uns couldn't get
shet off un ess'n I.una married un."
An editor says the only reason he
knows of why his house was not blown
away, the other day, during severe
gale, was because there was a heavy
mortgage upon it.
A political paper in Iowa put this
stunning interrogatory sis the man who
attempts to steal from bis wifa's graud.
mother and an idiot girl, fit for Auditor
Of Davis county?'
A mournful story is told by Maine
editor: The winds Of autumn will soon
whistle shrilly; the goose flies SOUTH
ward the air speaks of snow and ice
every thing 5etokens that in a few weeks
more the fall season will have ended, aud
circusses and snake shows will be no
more ~
A minister travelling through the west
in a missionary capacity several years
ago. was holding an animated theological
conversation with an old lady upon whom
he had called, in the course of which he
asked her what idea she had formed of
total depravity. "Oh," said she, II
think it is good doctrine if people would
only live up to it."
"Thrty.two cents ~ echoed woman
when her grocer charged her that sum
for pound of butter. "Yes, 'um," he
replied, with a bland smi c. "You see
the grocers can't carry much of re.
serve, and we can't turn out our collat-
erals at sacrifice. If the government
calls in the bonds due in 1874, and the
imports of bullion tend to ease the money
market little, butter must find its level
with everything else. Butter is very
panicky just now, but | think the worst
is over" She paid the money without
further growing
Tommy thinks the voice has very little
to do with the success of singer. 1t is
the air alone which does the business, and
he gets at it in this wise, does Tommy
If the greatest priina donna in existence
were to sing her sweetest tones, or the
most superlative of tenors utter his finest
notes, the ighcst that ever issued from
his chest or returned thereto the highest
compensation, in an exhausted receiver,
his proposition would be demonstrated
that it is the air and not the voice that
does it.
Over the shop door of a pork butcher
in village in one Of the eastern counties
Of England may be seen a sign board re-
presenting a man In black coat, brand
ishiug hatchet, with the inscription,
John Smith kills pigs like his father"
Several Irishmen were disputipg one
day about the invincibility of their re-
spective persons, when one of them re.
marked. Faith, I'm brick" "And in-
dade I'm a bricklayer," said another
/, GIVING the first sneaker n blow .hat
brought him to the ground.
Wear your learning said Chesterfield
like your watch. in a private pocket,
and do not pull it out and strike merely
to show that you have one. If you are
asked what o'clock it is, tell it, but do
not proclaim it hourly and unasked like
the watchman'
Lake Tahoe. Nevada, has a curiosity
Half mile from the shore a tree stands
perpendicular in eighty feet of water
1t projects ten feet above the surface, and
is fastened so firmly to the bottom that
it affords safe moorage for the largest
crafts on the lake.
, An old miser who was exceedingly
parsimonious, was obliged reluctantly to
consult physician, "What shall do
with my head? asked the man. 1t is SO
dizzy, seem to see double" The doctor
wrote a prescription and retired, saying,
"When you sec double, you will find re.
lief if you count your money"
Mrs. A-"Well, good by, dear. You