Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-28
Wit and Wisdom.
A FAvoRrrR exclamation-A lass! :!

Wit and Wisdom.
| A FAvoRrrE exclamation-A lass!
A COLD lunch-1ce cream.
A HOT lunch-Fire crackers.
SPENDrHR1FT's capitalist lou.
DRAWING PAPEE-The dentists bill.
PAPER for the rougis-SSaanf paper.
D1Es are engfa<ed aow: In Caesars
time the die was cast. - ,...
They that stand high have many
blasts to shake them. '''
GREAT thoughts proceed from the
| heart. I'D +. - = >...;-,;
Uxeoksc1ousSEss is life's; holiest
shrine.
A JOINT stock company-The beef
packers. - -
To boil tengue-Drink scalding
coffee. T.. .,.z .s4
How many peas are there in apint
Only one 2, surely: .-''A'
Nor q bad rame for : female fortune
neutrality-suspicious.. j ,a....
To have fish at supper-Just drop
them line:
The Indian question-White man,
got any 1um9 :: -. ~ 81
TEE we'll dressed dog wears collar,
and pants in the summer.
A woMAs's pride and a sailors guide
The needle. :.t,s*L '.:,i'T se
| WHEN does 4 man have to keep his
word2 When no one will take it.
MIXTURE your mind with great
thoughts. To believe in the heroic
makes heroes.
! WITHOUT calmness it is utterly i'm
possible to show forth consistent ac-
tion. '*i
VERY singular-Almost all the pre-
servers of fruits and vegetables get
what they can, and can what they get.
WHAT comes once in a minute, twice
in moment, and once in mans life?
| The letter NJ ! i
WHAT is the difference between fixed
stars and shooting stars7 The one are
suns, the other darters. s7'1
MELANCHOLY sulcide-A little boy,
ON being threatened with q whipping,
hung his head.
WHY does a widow feel her bereave-
ment less when she wears corsets. Be-
cause then she is so-laced.
THERE would not be half the diff
Guilty in doing right but for the fire.
quent occurrence of cases where the
lesser virtues are on the side of wrong.
ASuaoxE says to Creon, when he an
nounces to her the sentence of death,
II knew that I should die thou only
tellest me when" az.
LET the philosophers say what they
will, happiness is the eixer OF Life,
that makes US Young in heart ifnot in
person. ...,t.- -
WHEN a noble life has prepared old
age it is not the decline that it recalls,
but the first days of Immortality
Madame de Staet. =: =
TIE real wants of nature are the
measure of the shoe. We can call
OILY the want of what is necessary
poverty. 'os = =:
TIE beloved of the Almighty are the
rich who have the humility Of the poor,
aud the poorwho have the magnanimity
of the rich.-SnGds. - ~-1;I
A PAIR of Nevada lovers have organ
lied very SPLENDID way OF spending
their evenings. He holds the cat
under his arm and she .grinds its tail
KNow1EDaE begins with the particu--
lar. is endless and formless, can never
be comprehended, or at: least but
dreamily, and thus remains exactly the
opposite of faith. T., :,.,>,; .,...
TIE Utica Herald says man will
never know what effect It would have
ON Job ii II little girls. had called on
him Sunday school picnic tickets.
A LADY writer says there Is no object
in Nature which approaches in glory a
peacock with ito tail spread, SO nearly
as g young lady with a new pony phae-
ton and a parasol on her whip handle.
= A MAN who sent his wife to q place
on the Jersey coast because he heard
that dumb ague was prevalent there, is
greatly discouraged because she has
returned with the chattering kind in
stead. ......
Brown, the clairvoyant, visited the
Journal Office, and the editor remarks
thereupon that ..he read the. thoughts
of ali present" It did not give him
the brain fever, either.-Chicago Post.
TIE Reedsbnrg Free Press employs
women exclusively. 1t says: We have
a calico " foreman, two dimlty "com-
positors," and the sweetest % little
s'devii" in pink muslin tobe found
anywhere. -.
A CHICAGO paper says: "There is
promise of novel sensation for some
OF the reporters who will a ccompany
Professor Wise in his trans-Atlantlc
balloon voyage. The sensation Will
probably be that of taking water
A DEBATING society discussed the
question els it wrong to cheat law.
yer?" After full discussion and
mature deliberatian. the decision was,
"Not wrong, but too difficult to pay
for the trouble"
AN ambitious Nashville youth says
he only lacks three things OF beng
perfectly happy and contented, ana
these are q handsome wife, plenty OF
money and black curly hair Let him
supply himself with the second it will
buy him the other two.
In composing, think much more OF
your matter than your manneE 10 be
sure, spirit, grace and dignity OF man
ner are Of great Importance, both to
the speaker ana writer; but of infinite
~ more importance is the weight ana
worth of matter.-Wir.
TOMMY thinks he got the inside track
Of the railroad official, last week, when
he took train without any mone.F in
his pocket, and was told by the conduc-
tor that he must get of at the next
station. That was just where Tommy
was going.
A WOMAN who had repeatedly but
unavailingly besieged well known
lawyer at Greenfield, Mass, to assist
her in getting divorced from her hus-
band, came into his Office the other
day, her face radiant with Joy, aud
exclaimed, esquire, the old man s
dead!" u!
A SPRINGFIELD lady communicates to
the publicists this "warning to young
ladies who hump: Coming from
church, few Sabbaths ago, noticed
my little boy of seven cast what took
to he sdminng glances after a little
| miss of his own age, even long after
she had turned into another street.
Referring to it, soon after, he replied
''No, I tell you what; 1 wasn't looking
at her, was looking at her humps:
Mv e-e, wasn't she bumped up! 1
wouldn't marry her, all bumped up
bel ind like that!"