Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1873-03-24
Making a Fortune.
ny MARK TWAIN.


Samuel McFadden was a watchman
In a bank. He was poor, but honest,
and his life was without reproach.
The trouble with him was that lie was
not appreciated. His salary was only
four dollars week, and when he asked
to have his salary raised, the Presi-
dent, Cashier and Board Of Directors
glared at him through their spectacles
and frowned on him, and told him to
20 out and stop hts in.o!ence. when
he knew business was dull, and the
bank Sould not meet its expenses now,
let alone lavishing one dollar on such
a7miserable worm as Samuel Mctad-
den. And then Samuel McFadden felt
depressed, sad, and the naughty seorn
OF the President and Cashier cut him
to the soul. He would often 60 into
the side yard and bow his twenty-four
Inch head, and weep gallons aud gal
Ions OF tears over his insignlficauce,
and pray that he might be made wor-
thy OF the Cashiers and Presidents
polite attention.
One night happy thought struck
him; a CLEAN OF light burst upon him,
and gazing down the dim vista OF
years with his eyes all blinded with
Joyous tears. he saw himself rich and
respected. So Samuel McFadden fool
ed around and got a jimmy, monkey
wrench, y cross-cut saw, cold chisel,
q drill, and about ton Of gun
powder and nitro-g lycerine, aud those
things. Then, in the dead Of night, he
went to the fire proof safe, and after
working at It for long while, burst
the door and brick into an immortal
smash. with such perfect success,
that there was not enough Of that safe
left to make q carpet tack. Mr.. Me-
Fadden then proceeded to load up with
coupons, groenbacks, currency and
specie, and to nail all the odd change
that was lying anywhere, so that he
pranced out OF the bank with over
million of dollars OIL him. He then
retired to an unassuming residence out
OF town, and then sent word to the de-
tectives where he was.
A detective called on him the next
day with soothing note from the
Cashier. McFadden treated it with
lofty seorn. Detectives called on him
every day with humble notes from the
President, Cashier and Board Of Dlrec-
tors. At last the bank officers got up
q magnificent private supper, to which
Mr.. McFadden was invited. He came,
and as the bank officers bowed down
In the dust before him. he pondered
we'll over the bitter past, and MS soul
was filled with eXultation.
Before he drove away in his carriage
that night, it was fixed that Slr. NC
Fadien should keep half OF that money
and to be unmolested. IL he returned
the other half. He fulfilled his con,
tract like an honest man, but reiuseo
with naughty disdain the offer OF Ihe
Cashier to marry his daughter.
Mac Is now honored and respecteu.
He moves In the best society, ano ne
browses around In purple and nhe
linen and other good cloth, and enjoys
himself first rate. And often now ne
takes his infant son on his knee ana
tells him of his early life, and instaii'
holy principles into the chiid's m,nu;
and shows him how. by industry ano
perseverance,, and frugality, ana nitro,
rlycerine, and monkey-wrencnes' am, any
cross.cut saws, and familiarity VIII
the defective system, even the poor
may rise to atfiuence anu response
bility.