The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-09-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

A sentimental writer says, cit is
hard to say goodbye" We don't
think SO. 1t is easier to say "good-
bye three times than to say "ichthyo-
saurus'' once.
A Peoria man stayed out in the yard
until two o'clock the other night, trying
to freeze his dog to death. Five doc
tors buggies were standing in front of
his house the next morning, and the
dog is sucking eggs by day and howl
ing by night, as usual.
Voltaire once praised another writer
very heartily to third person. Z" 1t is
very strange" was the reply, "that you
speak so well of him, for he says you
are charlatan." "Oh, replied Voltaire,
81 think it very likely that both of US
are mistaken"
When George Wither. the Puritan
poet, was taken prisoner by the Cava-
Tiers, there was a general disposition
displayed to hang him at once; but Sir
John Denham saved his life by saying
to Charles l.: 81 hope your majesty
will not hang poor George Wither, for
as long as he lives it can't be said that
l am the worst poet in England
A revengeful traveller on certain
railroad in this State packed carpet
bag full of loaded revolvers, and handed
it to a gentlemanly baggage-smasher
who had ruined three or four trunks for
him already. The smasher flung the
bag up against the wall savagely, and
then threw it on the floor and stamped
on it, and jumped up and down on it.,
as usual At about the fourth jump
firing began along the whole line.
Forty-six revolvers went off in rapid
succession, distributing bullets around
the car with disgusting carelessness of
the legs of the smasher, who was shot
in six places before he could get out of
the car. He rode upon the platform
during the whole of that trip; and
when he did enter the car, he encased
his legs in stove-pipe, and ran an IRON
clad snow-plough in front of him to
push the baggage out with. He
smashes, perhaps, fewer carpet-bags
now than he once did in the blissful
past-much fewer; and he is filed with
gloom. The only boon he Graves is that
he may be present when the carpet-bag
owner calls with his check. He says
there will then be conflict which will
make the Franco-German war appear
perfectly ridiculous.
Belshazzar Smith had very bad and
very dangerous habit of walking in his
sleep. His family feared that during
some one of his somnambulistic saun-
terings he would charge out of the win
dow and kill himself; so they persuaded
him to sleep with his little brother Will
liam, and to tie one end of rope round
his body and the other end round the
waist of little William. The very first
night after this arrangement was made,
Belshazzar dreamed that burglar was
pursuing him with dagger. So he
crept over to Williams side of the bed,
stepped over Williams slumbering form,
jumped out on the floor and slid under
the bed. He stayed there awhile fast
asleep; and then, his nightmare having
changed, he emerged upon the other
side of the bed and got under the covers
in his old place. The rope, it will be
observed, was beneath the bed, and it
was pulled taut, too. Early in the
morning, Belshazzar, about half awake,
scrouged over against William. To his
surprise the movement jerked William
clear out of bed. Belshazzar leaped out
to ascertain the cause of the phenome-
non, and at the same time his brother
disappeared under the bed. Belshaz-
Ear, hardly yet awake, was scared, and
he dived beneath the bedstead as he
did so, he heard William skirmishing
across the blankets above his head.
Once more he rushed out, just in time
to perceive William glide over the other
side. Belshazzar just then became suf-
ficiently conscious to feel the rope pull
ing him. He comprehended the situa-
ton at once, and disengaged himself.
And perhaps little William was not mad
He was in the hospital undergoing re-
pairs for about three weeks, and when
he came out he had strange desire to
sleep alone. Belshazzar anchors him
self now to an anvil.-Mar Adeler.