Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1873-09-18
MR.. DUFFEYS VALENTINE.

done the same thing but 1t was jim
Dutfy's peculiar fortune that while he
loved one woman, two women loved
him. Miss Smith was the beautiful
blue-tyed being to whom he had given
his heart and to whom he would cheer
fully have given his liver or his rib
or any other portion Of his frame
work if the custom Of society had made
such an anatomical surrender proper.
Miss C'amm was the faded flower
who had fixed her battered and veneer
able affections upon Mr.. Duffy with
out any provocation having been of.
fered by him, and Mr.. Duffy hated
Clamm with qoite as much intensity
as he loved Smith, because Clamm
woald always fasten to him at the
church-meetings and the evening
companies, and gush over to him in
presence Of people, and insist upon
his company home at the very mo
ment when he had determined to es
cort Miss Smith.
And so, when St. Valentines day
came round, Duffy thought it would
be clever idea to send Il proposal Of
marriage to Miss Smith, and at the
same time to cool the enthusiasm of
Clamm with all outrageous comic
valentine Of some kind. He procured
one Of these Immediately, and then
wrote to his only Smith 4 note begin
ming with "Dearest" and ending with
"Yours till death" Unhappily, it
came to pass that Mr.. Duffy placed
each Of these papers in the wrong en-
velope and while the comic affair
went away to Smith, direct proposal
proceeded to Clamm. Nothing could
have been more unfortunate, for no
sooner did the aforesaid Camm receive
Dufy's note than she suddenly did up
her back hair, put on her bonnet as
sumed her umbrella and gum shoes,
and started by the nearest known
route to James Dufy'S residence,
When the front door was opened,
she dashed past the hired girl and into
the sitting room, where, finding Jim
reading a newspaper, she flung her
arms about his neck, dropped her
head upon his shoulders and her UNI
brella upon his corn, and exclaimed :
"Take me, take me, James Take
me, dearest! | am yours-yours for
ever !"
AS soon as Mr.. Duffy regained his
presence Of mind, he struggled to dis
engage himself. while he attempted to
explain to her that he should not take
her that he did not want her that
she was not his forever, or five minu-
ties and that if she did not remove
her forehead from his vest, and her
umbrella from the vicinity Of his toe,
he should be compelled to call the
police. But Miss Clamm would hear
no explanation. She nestled closer
and closer and closer to his waistcoat,
and cried into his watch-pocket, and
kept plunging her umbrella about
with such cratic vigor, that Mr.. DUFF
fy's left foot continually executed half
Of the waltz movements in an effort to
save its most sensitive cxcrescence
from torture. But at last when Clamm
murmured something about fixing
the wedding day and making it soon.
Jim Duffy tore himself away and fled
to the garnet, where he locked the
door and tied the trap down with a
rope, lest the invincible Clamm should
burst in upon him from that direction.
Meantime, Miss Smith received the
comic valentine, recognizing Dutfy's
writing upon the envelope, she was deep
ly panied, and she thought she might
indirectly obtain comfort and an ex-
PLANTATION Of the matter by calling up.
on her bosom friend, the sister of Mr.
Duffy. SO she sailed out and reached
the house. 1t happened by strange
coincidence that her bonnet and cloak
bore kind of general resemblance to
those worn by Clamm and Duffy,
when he heard the door-bell ring,
looked out from the garnet window,
and felt perfectly certain that the
remorseless Miss Clamm had returned
for the purpose of impressing more
firmly upon his mind that she was his
forever, and he could take her. SO
Duffy did most scandalous and un.