, 1873-07-20
Judge to thry go" pat-stAll, Ditldy tarlln', tho
dlvil an upright Judge I want. ''rls ono that'll


"A philosophical Kontuo1ian who had but ono
sllrt; and waa lying IN bed while tho garment
wan drying on tho olothog-lno In tho yard, 1yay
snsso thal 6y n Sxelanato from he wte 70 ths
oaid tho Kontuoklan. with \ spirit worthy Of
bcttcr cauHo-" woll, tlom who hns must foso."
"A Wostorn editors atatemont, "No aro
LIVING at thn momont under absolute despot-
attributed BY a contemporaries to tho
CONS Ct tho Emerald 1slo tho otlor day to anoth-
or. "Yoo," ropltea hib companion, IN groat
many havo died this year that hayo mover died
--Whon crowd Of jhyhnwkcra startod dis
turbnnco In a ToxaH church tho other day, The
preacher raised up Shotgun and sad: Evil
linn Dollo, sit down, or I'll mako It painful for
limb. ~'''' ''''>' 's'' '' 1A''' ''' "
-Tlooloro Hook once said to man at w]1oBo
tablo publisher got worry tipsy, "You appoar to
aa;,er hsgo eps''d your wno-oolar into your book
"A bosrdng-houso fond tells tho story that
Ia recent thunder storm tho warning Of tho
olemonts was 80 aSo-inspfring that tho hatr in
dish q butter N The pantry.houBe turned
--Spioor suggosts. TINT tho Michigan stnto
Prison should bo located at Lansing, on tho
ground that lancing is tho only cure for felonB,
-Boston Commercial.
eai1 IN her essay: "Lot us avoid tho friyolities
Of life and pursue tho nobloBt onds only" Tho
no1t day Bho was moved to tenrs in an ngonizing
attempt to decide tho proper shado Of blue for
her complexion.
-Alodeat Assuranoo.-Lady Of tho house:
.'Woll, Millicont, how do you like your now
horse Roland q" hlillicont: 10, immensely
But ho wants firm hand, you know. Hod
osggds sen wcna rn sg1y e. o f h5Ss. gsgs hin @
cousin to Milhcent)s' "Run away with you, Ii
you gave him ohnnco7 by Georgo If can
Judge @ e 81 'Rolands feelings by my own, 1should
50 conta yesterday, and who said aho would
bring us baok 40 conts In change as soon as sho
could step around tho corner and got tt. wo aro
growing painfully anxious. We foar sho haa
met With foul play. II eho hasn't, then we haYo.
-Louisuiile Cou,'ier-Journal.
Justice Bartholomew Lynoh, Of Now Or
loans, il ono Of tho judicial notabilttoa Of that
city. After listening to o two-hour argument by
lawyer Hagau, tho othor dey, ho raieed himaelf
:. .. Are 20 through, Mister Hagan 7" +" Yes, sir.'
quito suro." "Woll, SIR" romarkod Lynch,
"'.your argument las had no moro offeot upon
tho Court than spoonful Of water on tho back
of duck. There's boon Judgment entorod up
against 20 for an hour or MORE"
-An OIL City exchange Rays: "Ono Of our
policemen Is IN q quandary; He las levied on .
glyce1ino, and tho party doioadant, who las tho
koy, refuses to open tho door TO lot tho Com
monwealth in. Tho policeman could take q
aledgo-hammor and bust things, but as ho has
family and lives happily, he doos not like to go
fooling round the magazine in TINT way
"A Now York party, who wears spectaclos and
white linen clothes and boards at ono Of our
hotels, wont out into tho woods to hunt for wild
strawberries. Two doctors have since boon en-
ployod hunting for ono Of his cars. They havo
got tho swelling down SO he eau blow lis nose
with q pair OF pincorB, md think they hago
found all Of his mouth, but thoy emit lnd that
car. They belieyo it is there, however. People
who can't toll mercury vines from strawberry
plants should keep out Of tho ooda.-Danbury
.Ne,cs.
"A man who is known % brute In his fam.
l1y, and grumblor and mischiof-makor in
church, and whom tho sight Of q contribution
boz fills with wrath, delights to rehearso IN
praYor-mooting tho atory Of his Christian OK
perionco and the wonderful changes wrought
thereby. On recent OCCASION no told ''tho old,
old story" winding up, as usual, with tho quota
tion, BY tho grace Of God, nm what am."
As ho was leaving tho place.. ono of tho nnre-
generate, who had boon listonor, snlutod him
with tho remark, II say, old fellow, you must
have boon q terrible wicked man at tho first, if
you havo improved as much as you represent"
Tho falling from grace that followed was painful
to bohol1 t-s.