davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
WIT AND HUMOR.
How can man see the point of a
joke when he is the butts

How can a man see the point of
Joke when he is the butts
Here is the newest floral senti-
ment:' If you wish for hearts ease
don't look to mari-gold.
The India widows don't burn them
selves any more. They find it more
agreeable to marry again.
The ladies do their hair up so high
now that they have, it is said, to stand
on something to put on their hats.
When may a man be said to be
literally immersed in his business?
When giving swimming lesson.
A paper announces that by the recent
burning of an ice-house twenty thou
sand tons of ice were reduced to ashes.
When naughty little boy breaks a
window, heFshould. be punished, on the
principle that panes and penalties go
together.
What is the difference between Jew
and lawyer: The one gets his law
from the prophet, the other his profit
from the law.
A popular doctor in Oswego gave
prescription, with directions to take
tea-spoonful every three years. The
patient recovered.
An honest lover in Massachusetts has
given to his prospective father-in-law a
load of wood, to replace that consumed
during his evening sparkling" visits,
last winter.
Ladies' head dresses have become
such structures now that the hair dress
ers have to petition the city government
for permission to build" before they
can get ahead.
A grocer asked an artist els sculpt-
ure difficult The artist replied:
"Why, bless you, no. You have only
to take a block of marble, mallet, and
chisel, and knock off all the marble
you don't want" .
An old lady called at the Waterbury
post-office the other day, and asked,
sis there letter for John -, if We
please, sur :" There being several
persons of that name in town, and
letter for one of them, the clerk asked
if this john was in business The
innocent answered No sur; he's in
jale."
While there are about 10000 men
who think they know all about the
perpetual motion principle, it is safe to
say that there is not a solitary soul in
this universe who can explain why
railroad engineer blows his whistle as
he shoots by passenger train. Peo-
pie who have popped up from their seats
and clutched their scalps on these oc-
casions are somewhat interested in an
explanation.-DanbUy Neacs.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
The Leper Settlement in the Hawaiian
Islands.

The leper settlement was established
on Molokai in January, 1866. In three
years, four hundred lepers were gath
cred there, and supported by the gov
eminent. Lads between the ages of
twelve and fifteen years, and girls from
sixteen to eighteen, seem to be the
worst cases. Aftetward the symptoms
seem to be in a measure modified, and
the patient gradually wastes away.
Itseemed to me they could hardly have
been consigned to more suitable local
ity Molokai lies east and west, with
an inclination to the north in the west
ern portion. Mountains as verdant as
possible, and usually Handicapped, rise
from the eastern centre. The south
shore, open to the trade wind, and con-
sequently well showered by the frequent
rains, is green and fresh. The north
and north western portions are dry and
sandy, offering little to attract the eye.
Our first ride was easterly over fer
tile plain by the shore. To the right
swept the sea, and beyond it lay Maui,
with the great extinct crater, Haleakala,
folded about with cloud; occasionally
we caught glimpses of its sublime pro-
portions through the openings in this
vapory curtain. Near our shore the
"league-long roller Numbered on the
reef" leaving stiller sea tapping among
the pebbles, or sliding up the curves of
the smooth, hard sand, where dozen
canoes were lodged, half in, half out of
the water. TO the left rose the mount
aims. Here and there beautiful vistas
dawned upon us-deep valleys, green
as green could be, and waterfall, per-
haps, sparkling from the cliff to the bed
of the valley like silver chair.
Such a still island as it is! 1t was
like crusading in the land of Nod. The
Doctor said, L" it seemed as though
everybody had just stepped out for
awhile, and was not back yet," and so
it did. Wherever we went in Molokai
that impression was constantly renewed.
A sense of loneliness and desertion per-
vaded the very air. We passed many
old houses in ruins; the walls of adobe
quite dilapidated, the roof entirely
gone, surrounded by acres of taro patch
es, dried away and out of use. These
taro patches look ugly enough when
the water that usually fills them is gone,
and the deep green calla-shaped leaves
of the tdro no longer swing in the wind
There is plenty of wind left, almost too
much of it; but the gentle souls that
once cultivated all this silent land-and
to judge from appearances, it was dense
ly populated-have gone to that land
more silent still.-Orerland Monthly for
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

The COURAGE TO LIvE.-We need
not preach the courage to die-that is
common enough-but the courage to
live, to be honest in spite of poverty
and neglect; to be true, though all is
dark except where God shines in; to be
faithful, though heavens fall and hearts
break and friendship turn to gall. Yes,
we must teach men to dare to be I'M
popular, to be Inexperienced, to be
ahead of the times, to follow the voice
of God, though it leads into the wilder
ness, to tell the devil to his very face
that he lies, and also to give him his
dues-an- act which requires the su =
premest courage at times.
l wouldn't give farthing for the tri-
umphant faith of the death hour, unless
it comes from a triumphant faith that
makes our life full of noblest daring,
that he is ready to fling aside honor,
wealth, the praise of friends, rather than
impair for one moment the souls integ-
rity. Oh, for such a courage the
courage to think, to act, to tell the
harsh truths, to overthrow splendid false
hoods, to disown sweet lies, and to
Danish tenderest associations, rather
than to check in the least the free move
ment of the sovereign soul. We all
must die with more or less equanimity,
but we cannot live in the full splendor
of our being except by courage and de-
termined exertion. The coward under
circumstances may die grandly; but
never, under any circumstances, can he
live grandly.-Liberal Christian.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
ROMANTIC EPISODE IN LEPER LIFE

ROMANTIC EPISODE IN LEPER LIFE.
While we were at the settlement, a
young woman came to see her sweet
heart, leper. She had stolen in I'M
observed, but was soon discovered, and
ordered to leave the place within an
hour. 1t was toward dusk two per-
sons stood little way from US, by the
roadside, locked in each other embrace.
1t was romantic episode in leper life,
by no means rare. In few moments,
the woman broke from him with a pitt
full cry, ran to her horse, threw herself
into the saddle as only those women
can, and rode away, filling the air with
an agonizing wall that cut into us like a
knife. The youth was about to- follow
her, but being ordered back into the vii
lage, he sunk on the low hillock where
they had parted, buried his face between
his knees, and wept bitterly. - Overland
MONTHLY for Julg.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
A RUSSIAN BAReA1N.-When two

A RUSSIAN BARGAIN. When two
Russian merchants are about to conduct
apurchase or sale, they begin by swal-
lowing half dozen cups of tea, smok-
ing score or so of cigarettes, talking
about the weather, the crops, their
families, their neighbors, and in this
way edge up to the subject which is
uppermost in their minds. If you
want to buy dog you must begin by
pretending that you want to sell cat
with litter of kittens; the other party
does not want any feline property, nor
does he know any body who would ac-
cept it. At this stage of the conversa-
ton you may venture to hint your de.
sires in the dog line, and after more tea,
or something stronger, and more ciga-
rettes, you can conclude negotiations.
At Irkutsk wanted to buy sleigh
for journey westward, and hearing of
man who had one for sale, went to
see it. A Russian acquaintance went
with me, and after an introduction to
the merchant we sat down in his parlor
to drink glass of nalifka, sort of
homemade cordial analogous to currant
wine, though somewhat stronger. We
drank nalifka at least half an hour be-
fore we touched upon the topic of bus
mess, and it was introduced very gin
gerly bymy companion, who ventured to
remark the deep sorrow that had fallen
upon him in consequence of my pros
pective departure from Irkutsk. Then
we took another drink, and it was
limited that could not leave without a
vehicle of some sort. This automatic
proposition required moistening like its
predecessor, and so, step by step, we
went on for quarter of an hour, drinks
alternating with hints, ard hints with
drinks, until we took another drink,
and went into the yard, to look at the
sleigh. We had fresh glass of nalifka
when we returned from the yard, and
another and another as the talk went
on, until by the time the business was
ended, and l had paid over the money,
my unaccustomed head was whirling
like rife-ball, and would have found
it difficult to see any difference between
sleigh and a side-wheel steamboat.
My companion assured me that if we
had gone at it in the blunt American
way we would have spoiled the whole
affair, and / should have been compelled
to look elsewhere for a vehicle.-Har-
per's Magazine for July.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
Or, BARLOW ], SMITH

Invites all who coming to San Francisco for the
purpose procuring medical aid, to call his Allo-
hygienapathic Water Cure and chronological Institute
e35 and $50 CALIFORNIA STREET and avail them
their health. free of charge DR. SMITH claims that
the Liver Spleen, Bowels, Ki7nevs BACK Vertebra
also Uterine, Genital. and Reproductive Systems can
be determined by the form of the Head.
All who interested in the laws of Hygiene and the
Heath Reform invited make the Hygiene Home
Of DIR. BARLOW j. SMITH their resort during their
siay in the city.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

P1Ns.-A schoolboy being requested
to write composition upon the subject
of Pins" produced the following:
"Pins very useful. They have
saved the lives of great many men,
women and children-in fact, whole
families. Chow sos" asked the puz-
zled teacher; and the boy replied,
" Why, by not swallowing them" This
matches the story of the other boy who
defined salt as "the stuff that makes
potatoes taste bad when you don't put
on any" t.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

How THE PRESIDENT is PAID
The Washington Star says: The
President never draws his salary him
self, but receives'it through the First
National Bank, to which he has given
a power of attorney, and the money is
always drawn from the Treasury by the
cashier of that bank and placed to the
credit of the President in the bank.
The warrants for the salary of the Presi-
dent and Vice President are made out
at the Treasury every month, the FORM
er under the new law receiving 4,l66
Sc per month, and the latter 1888 SO.
Members of the Cabinet are paid from
the rolls ftheir respective departments,
and receipt therefor the same as all
other employees. The President and
Vice President do not sign any payroll.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

81 p SAYING GRAcE.-It seems TO US that
go IL this will answer. Is is just over from
England; and has got into American
, s- types A milliner's apprentice, about
.-.- to wait upon duchess, was afraid of
committing some error in her deport-
s.Z c ment. She therefore consulted friend
as to the maner to be adopted, and was
told that on going before the duchess
zs-2 she must say "her Grace" and SO on.
Accordingly, away went the GIRL and
NJ on being introduced, after very low
- - courtesy, she~said, "For what l am
going to receive, the Lord make me
~ truly thankful" To which the duchess
g t9- answered, 60 Amen" Rarper's Nag
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
BOOTS AND SHOES

I i
TOHN SULLIVAN, Northeast rel
81 corner Of Battery and Jackson streets ELg
offers to make to ider the best French Cali H
Leather BOOTS. at from S. to 80; Cator
MIA Leather Boots, Sc; French Calf Oxford
Ties $3.50; California, SO.
Boys and Chiidrens' Boots and Shoes e&
made to order.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

EB II you want EXCELLENT PHOTO GRAPHS
90 to WATKINS. % and 26 Montgomery Street, San
Francisco. opposite Lick House.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

AZTEC PINoLE-Although for a long time a
well known and valued dish in Mexico, it is COM
paratively new to Americans, who will find more
intimate acquaintance with it desirable. We
would especially recommend it as a delightful,
healthful, convenient and economical food. Dys-
peptics using this as diet experience great re-
lief, and as food forgrowing children nothing
can equal it. A man can carry enough of it to
subsist upon for long journey, which makes it
just the thing for prospecting and camping par
ties. We might say much more about it, but try
it for yourself and you will know as much about
it as we do.
ga Slight Cold" Coughs.-Few are
aware of the Importance of checking cough or
slight cold" which would yield to a mild rem
edy, but if neglected often attacks the lungs.
Browns Bronchial Troches give sure and almost
immediate relief.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26
Spffial Tntiffs.

ID Worth for Is Cts f r. Is "
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

~ The Best Remedy tor Purifying the
Blood Strengthening the Nerves. Restoring the lost
Appetite, is FRESE's HAMBURG TEA. 1t is the
best against almost any Sickness if used
timely. Composed of herbs only, it can be given
safely to infants Full directions in English, French
Spanish, and German with every package. TRY IT
For sale at the wholesale and retail Drug Stores and
Groceries. REDINGTON HOSTETTER CO.,
Wholesale Agents, San Francisco.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

THE INV YORK PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY. No.
- Third street Is again open with larger lights more
room, and all the LATEST IMPROVEMENTS in
strumens All work Is warranted to give satisfaction.
Cabinet Rembrants only 81 Dozen Gard Rembrandts
from 81 TO % per dozen. No Cinnamon employed
San francisco, July, 1873 Ii. Y. HOW LAND.
ALIENS INDIAN LIVER PILLS (sugar-coated}-
sure cure for Liver Complaint Dyspepsia and Bilious
ness Purely vegetable. Price rs cents five boxes
81. Sent by mall postage prepaid receipt of price,
by II. NJ. MASON, $50 Broad St, Newark. Nj.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

THICK, WITHOUT RATS from 50 to 81 25: long
switches. ST. three long heavy tide curls. SIS 5 long
single curs, 81 First quality hair Tangled HAIR made
into curls switches side steamed twenty
JOHN d. WILSON, All Suffer Street. opposite the
Synagogue.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

When may man be said to be
literally immersed in his businesss
When giving swimming lesson.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

An honest lover in Massachusetts, has
given to his prospective father-in-law a
load of wood, to replace that consumed
during his evening sparkling visits,
last winter.
The weekly Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1872-190?, 1873-07-26

A paper announces that by the recent
burning of an ice-house twenty thou
sand tons of ice were reduced to ashes.
, 1873-02-16

heartily disllked. Few people understand the
nature OF the sacrifice which he made. 4 mem.
bor OF the arstocracy By birth, and reared amidst
Al the rehnements and Injuries Of high
9oc'al position, he gave them nearly all up
IN order to join the least fashionable, per
hars, of the sects in England, and to pos
scss the companionship Of men who were
often pure strangers to the conditions OF life
from which he had come. remember once,
when IN lancashire hearing gentleman, in d
particular neighborhood, say: Only think Of
Bant1st Noel! Here is he, used to tho choicest
OF Engllsh society,--to Bishops, and Deans, and
Primo Ministers, and the Ike,-ahd now staying
At q wretched stone cottage just by, where he
where his diet viii be chiefly sour oateake and
milk" 81 But" said I, '.why is he there2 WHAT'S
your meaning:" "Oh! be is to preach at the
little Baptist Chapel Tomorrow, and he is staying
at the house Of the Deacon" The speaker went
on to add, that the congregation were unedu-
Gated people, and the particular host exception
ally rough. Such Vas the frequent experience
Of this good man. But, as d preacher, he Tas
exceedingly wearisolne. OF course it WAS q
novelty to sec san Honorable" in Baptist
pulpit. and, for some time, folks poured to hear
him; but even bis title and connections con]d
not long compensate for tho tedium which his
droniEG voice and commonplace matter pro-
duced.
DIR. LUsHfsGToy
knew the secret Of Lady Byron's life. Did it die
With him7 No ono supposes it did. The pres-
sllre which will ;bo put upon the executors to
certain that Mrs. H. B. Stowe's story will re-
ceive in her lifetime the conclusive confutation
or confirmation which Dr.. Lushington was able
to PfrA.
, 1873-02-16
s. Ell CQp1tun.3s

This is romance Of San Diego. California
and tho hero il IS Ell Captain" now 1o3 years old
Once, as Chief Of the warlike Cahuillas, be
claimed royal position; and it is said there Was
time when he was distinguished, beyond any
man On the Pacific coast, for SUCCESS in love.
war, and athletic sports. It appears that in his
primo lei Captain" had no fower than 90 wives
the women were Of the Chieftain's own race
whom he compelled to so with him into battle.
About forty years ago Eel Captain" went to
the beach during violent storm to procure oys-
ters- PeerinG through the driving spray, ha saw
q sinking ship. On board that vessel was fur
trader and his family. The ship foundered. and
all On board-with one exception-were drowned.
The exception was woman, who clung to &
boat from which her companions had
been washed away. The boat drove near
to the shore, and was upset in the
breakers. But the "Capitan plunged into the
surf and brought the woman safely to land. She
in lore With her preservar. Gel Captain " bore
her to his wigwam and tho girl was soon restor-
cd to health. The jealousy OF the twenty ID
dies, already in possession Of the noble savage,
WIS quietcd by clubbing them over the head
with his canoe paddles. He became desp1y
enamored Of her and they were regularly mar
ried according to the rites Of the Ro-
man Catholic faith 'sEl Captain" had the
g1ace-in time, not immediately-to detach
himself from the other danes of his household,
and he lived with his Caucasian bride through
forty years Of mutual confidence and love. But
the chief has been called upon to give up at last
what had been sent to his arms. At the age Of
6o:ahe Was taken away, andh he, at the age Of more
than hundred, still stalks mnjestically across
tho plaza.
, 1873-02-16
mARAH..

Only little piece Of silver chain 7"
You think 1t worthless, and with wonder see
hiy lace grow white rs from some hidden patn.
While sudden tears are yelling it from me-
Hush, hush! Not even you nay rnde1y tre.d
- upon me grave where ueth my dead past,
Be satisfied to know that 1t ia dead +:
And that you have me now, and hold me fast.
o restless wonans heart! Be still, be still,
Lest bitter mem'ries wake to life again.
stern Despair and iron-hearted WILL
Guard Sc the stronghold where Pride keepeth pain
fond! fool Ia this thy boasted strength
Weak means aud teara when rnoaus and tears ara
vain?
Laugh lightly while you gaze unmoved at length,
On " jus: little piece Of silver chain ~
MIRIAM KIR11ASD
, 1873-02-16

which, in these days Of closetless houses it is
difficult to find place. Then there being two
boxes, instead Of one, mikes them light and easy
to move, as fancy or convenience dictates. I
Know 2 lady who has lounge of this
sort which IS iu one box, with ah
immense drawer instead Of cover, md in tue
! drawer she keeps several long dress-skirts she
| does not wiah to fold or hang.
WORKED CHAns,
either wholly composed OF embroidery, or OF En-
! embroidered stripe made up between two stripes
of reps or plush, add very much to tho artistic
effect of 3 parlor. It would not seem worth
while for anybody to sit down to worsted-work
for regular occupation. But, if one have q
canvas {alwayB more effective than fine in any
large piece OF work), lying about, there will NJ
ways Be feW minutes out Of the day when one
can catch it up and do few stitches aud it is
wonderful how the few stitches will complete
tho whole.
By al means, in every living room, which
should include the parlor, let there be ono OF
two low, light rocting-. chairs, the greatest Of
boons to weary Vomankind.
with q warm-hued cloth, round which the en-
tire family can draw if go minded, plenty Of
books and magazines, dish of flowers (never
be without them, if possible), perhaps
pretty photograph in standing frame, and
strong paper-knife, are most desirable
If bookcases can be obtained, let them be not
over four or four and q half feet high. with fiat
tops. This brings all the books within roach Of
short person, and gives nice shelf on which
to place smau busts, roses, or easels with pic
turas on them. Do not neglect odd little tables,
and queer footstools, and plenty Of brackets
and roses and photographs and chromos, If better
pictures cannot be afforded. Never for mo-
Inent lose sight Of beauty in furnishing home.
A pretty two-ply carpet aud dainhly-decoratcd
walls are thousand times more desirable than
q tapestry yelyet and great blanks OF ghastly
calcinining.
Tinted walls arc fur preferable to wlite, and
papered walls to either; and, as beautiful Amer
ican papers can be had at from 40 cents roll
upwards, it seems pity that the walls OF any
new house should be left bare. If 3 light tint is
preferred, 8 pearl-gray, with tiny tl1rend of
gold winding over it, is very effective; and, for
dark colors, rich browns in leather designs, and
rich crimsons and maroons, are the choice.
Green should always be avoided because Of the
danger OF arsenical poison therein.
Beyond all material decorations, however, are
Natures voluntary offerings, fresh air and sun
shine. Let these be had at any cost. They
give physical and mental health, and grid the
humblegt cottage with the sweetness aud the
brightness OF the oyerarching heavens.
FuABELow,
, 1873-02-16
PROVERBS PREPARED FOR PRE-.
C0ClOuS PUPILS,

Dedicated to the Educational Board
Observe yon pinned biped fine!
To elect his capuvatiou,
Deposit particles saline
Upon his termination.
Cryptogamous concret tion never grows
On mineral fragments that decline zepose.
Whilst self inspection IT neglects,
Nor its own foul condition seea,
The kettle to the pot objects
Its sordid superhcies.
Decor'ications Of the golden grain
Are set to allure the aged fowl, in vain.
Teach not parents mother 10 extract
The embryo Juices Of tn egg by suction;
That good old Indy can the feat enact
Quite Irrespective OF your Kind instruction.
Pecuniary agencies hare forced
To stimulate to speed the female horse,
The earliest winged songster soonest sees.
And nrst appropraates, the annelides.
With soap, and br1seh, and flannel, you tickle,
In vain, the Ethlopic cuttclc.
Bear not to yoo famed city upon Tyne
The carbonaceous product Of The auine.
The mendicant once from his iudigcpce freed.
And mounted aloft on the generous Eteed, =
Down the prccipice soon will infall;bly 70,
And conclude his career in the regions below.
It is permitted to the feline race
To contemplate even regal face.
=,