The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1873-12-04

n11 6ejskjne his he'd INTO Kansas
CITY street car. He Was answered by
thirsesu men q they rose up.
4 private II the army recently sent
leetef to his sweet heart closing with
ss1fAy heaven cherish you and keep
yeu from yours truly John Smith"
Burlington, Iowa, buried . baby,
and this 10 it, epitaph:
Beneath this stone orr baby lays.
= He nefsher <ries nor hollen;
n lived just Internationally day..
And cost as forty dollars.
An Irishman was once brought up
before . mag istra ate, HekNeed with
marrying six wives. The magistrate
asked him ho~ be could be 20 harden
ed . william. Please. your worship"
aAys Paddy, II was Just trying to get
good ono. -
An IfiAhman was speaking OF the
excellence OF . telescope. do You see
that ee speck on the edge of the hill
yonder: That, now, is my old pig,
though hardly TO be seen but when !
look At flim with my glass. IL brings
him soneaf that 7 ran plainly hear
him grunt"
What would You do il mamma
should die: asked lady. with whom
- have the honor ofan acquaintance.
ia Hstle tArss-y esr-oid girl that We
0ousd nas take : hundred dollars for
Well, mamma, was the melancholy
response, Il 'spose / should have 10
spank myself
A Iseaeher. one slippery. frosty
morning, going home with one et his
elderly member, the old gentleman
slipped and fell. When the minister
saw that he WAS not hurt, be said
Brother. sinners stand upon slippery
places" Yes replied the old man,
looking at the preacher, II see they
d0. bot l csiit.n
A traveller IN Iona, weary and this
ty, stopped at the door Of farm house
aud knocked for admission, when
woman OF amszonic proportions ap-
reared with babe at its fount, when
he asked for drink of milk What
kind Of milk will you have, sir ?" in
nocsntly referring to buiteTmiIk or
sweet milk, to which be replied,
Cows milk, if you please, ma am
why, Sambo, how black you are."
said . gentleman the other day to a
negro waiter ut hotel GLOW in the
name Of wonder did you get 80 black"
'.Why look here, msssa, de reason am
tlis-de day dis chile was born dere
was an eclipse Ebony received a
shilling for his satisfactory expla ma
ton. and after grinning thanks con-
tinued: II tell yoa what Is, massa,
dis niger may be black, but he amt
green no how
A humorous old man fell ia with an
ignorant and rather impertinent
young minister, who proceeded to in
form the old gentleman, In positive
terms, that he could never reach heav-
en- unless be was born again, and ad-
del: II have experienced that
'eilangs, aud now fee! no anxiety"
And have yon been born again ~
said his companion, musingIy "Yes,
/ trust have "Well," said the old
gentleman, cycling him attentively,
= den't think 1t would hurt You to be
born once more"
II may be regarded as one Of the
signs Of the times that tailors who
formerly exulted to trust and blushed
to be paid. are becoming far less ae-
commoda.ing. Several Of the most
prominent OF the trade In Boston
agree to publish in two of the daily
papers the names and residences of
their customers who do not pay
promptly. This gloomy catalogue will
add another to the depressing 10 fiuen-
ces Of these low-spirited times. 1t is
hard to pay for pantaloons which have
been worn out it will be harder not
to be able to buy any pansaloons at
all.
The Commissioners Of Indian Ar
fairs has sent the following telegram
TO Hayworth, United States Indian
Agent ct Fort Sill, Indian Territory
Issue no more annuities TO the Com
anches. The demand for five riaders
and murderers IL not needed and II not
complied within ten days after the re-
ceipt OF this dispatch, yoa will stop
thstr fattona entirely, and ~ they still
refuse they will be handed over tn The
military Assure the Indians that
the Govern ment il ia earnest, and
that arrangements Are already bein,
made to compel the Indian. to d,
right"
Alexander II. Stephens thinks
movement to take possession OF Cuba
Will bring about a good feeling be
tween the North and the South. /
another war is necessary to restore tb.
good feeling lost by the late unp,eas