Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1873-05-03
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

escaped tiger.
FLORIDA grows five hundred bushels OF
sweet potatoes TO the acre.
AN indianapolis hen thinks two eggs q
day something TO crow about.
WHY is newspaper like a wife? BE.
cause every man ought to have one of his
own.
a YOUNG wOman's cOnundrum-Who
is our favOrite Roman hero :-1ns,cey
MariuS.
A PHYSICIAN says mosquitoes have in
their veins some OF the best blood in the
country.
MEXICO is said to be like the earth. be-
cause it has revolution every twenty.
four hours.
YOU'RE a fool if you're a walker in q
pond, you're philosopher if you ponder
in your walk.
A DEsPoTIc Delaware judge fined law.
yer one dollar for merely calling him "a
blOated old rhinOceros."
/ A DANBURY man was much relieved to
/ find that the term Credit MObiler was not
name for hog cholera.
/ PROF. NUDGE SAYS that, as Kansas be-
comes more thickly settled, many fossil
lied elephants will be dug up.
A New HAMPSHIRE woman who re.
mained a spinster until she was sixty. has
just buried her fourth husband.
a GRAVE charge has been made against
a young lady of Augusta, Ga She is ac.
crlsed of stealing flowers from 3 GENE
/ terry.
rHE extensive condensed milk factories
in Switzerland use 10000 quarts of milk
daily, and fOur-fifths of tie product is ex-
/ ported to England.
A HOUSE is never perfectly furnished
for enjoyment unless there is a child in il
rising three years old, and kitten rising
| six weeks.-Southey.
! NEW England farmers believe that the
immense abundance of maple sugar this
season will compensate for the severe
Winter they have suffered.
By carefully computed estimates it is
ascertained that England is now as fully
supplied with breadstuffs as she ever was
at this season of the year.
A FASHIONABLE New York gentleman
thinks that if ladies would only use their
pOwder-puffs more sparingly, men would
get through the season with only one
dress-cOat.
A FASHIONABLE young lady Of Phila-
delphia dropped one of her false eyebrows
in church pew, and badly frightened a
young man next to her, who thought it
was his mOustache.
AN aged negress in Delaware is said to
have turned white recently Erchange.
Yes. she married fellow named White,
and then turned him out of doors three
weeks after the event.
A CULTIVATED Snowman propounds the
following cOnundrum: Q. What trans
| formation takes place in an infuriated ele-
! phant when he charges upon crowd OF
people? A. He becomes a turner in
ivory.
WEALTH has now all the respect paid
to it which is due only to virtue and
talent, but we can see what estimate God
places upon it, since He often bestOws it
upon the meanest and most unworthy of
all his creatures.
| DID our readers ever hear their young
lady acquaintances ask each other
Whats your politics p and then giggle:
The question has hidden meaning. Fol
explanation apply to the first lady you
know who wears a large hustle.
No MAN, when he violates the truth
can tell of what sin he is guilty where
his falsehOOd will penetrate, and what
misery it will create. 1t may culminate
it may kill. it may embitter, it may impov
erish. What evil it may prove you can.
not tell.
Ina Chicago court of justice they tried
the other day, to decide how much weight
constituted load for horse. The Ques
ton is just as easy to decide-and nc
easier-as how much man can lift, OF
how much a man can do. 1t depends
upon the hOrse-slightly.
IF ever household affections and loves
are graceful things, they are graceful in
the poor. The ties that bind the wealthy
and the proud to home may be forged or
earth, but those which link the pOOl
man to his humble hearth are OF the
true metal, and bear the stamp Of heaven
A New ENGLAND farmer sent to an or.
phan asylum for a boy that was ''smart
active, brave, tractable. prompt, indus
trious, clean. piOus, intelligent, gOod-lOOk.
ing, reserved, and modest" The super.
intendent wrote back that unfortunately
they had only human boys in that institu.
ton.
| EVERYBODY eats peanuts, and every.
body knows that some are full and plump
while others have little or nothing in
them; but every body does not know that
before the retailer gets his peanuts they
| are StpaTdteu, tIlc Iull lIOu tIic cIIlpJy
by means of fan, and sold at different
prices.
"GENTLEMEN of the jury" said a Judge
in summing up, sin this case counsel on
both sides are impudent and incredible
the witnesses on both sides are indecent
and incredible; and the plaintiff and de.
fendant both stand such acknowledged
rOgues, that it is to me utterly Indifferent
which way you give verdict
The last dog story: A New Hampshire
canine being repeatedly baffled in the at
tempt to catch a woOdchuck in a Ions
drain, as it made its exit at the other en(
as the dog followed through, brought {
neighbOriDg dog and stationed him at tn,
other end of the drain. He then drOv,
the woodchuck through, and he wa
caught.
WE have finally, in paper, something
personal" that Is both fresh, authentic
and satisfactory. A lady writes to tn
able editor asking the original of tn
phrase, 1.-The army swore terribly a
Flanders" and what occasioned the pro
family? Answer: Mr.. Flanders was
sutler, and his prices and general disre
gard for all the rules of trade so incense,
the army that it cursed him with all it
strength.
Kissing the Bride.