Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1873-12-08
A WOMAN's CURIOSITY.

W. S~-~
Order of Odd Fellows determined to
have their lodge room done up clean
and nice. 1t was resolved unanimously
that Mrs. K, should be employed to do
the job. After the meeting adjourned,
the guardian, who knew the inquisitive
character of Mrs. K, procured a billy
goat and placed him in the closet that
was kept as reservoir for the secret
things. He then informed the lady
of the wishes of the lodge, and request
ed her to come early next morning, as
he would then show her what was and
what was not to be done. Morning
came, and with it Madame X. with her
broom, brushes, pals, tubs, etc., and
found the guardian waiting for her.
s.Now, madame" said he, 81 tell you
what we want done, and how we came
to employ you. The brothers said that
it was difficult to get anybody to do the
job, and not be meddling with the Sc
cret in the closet; we have lost the key
and cannot lock the door. [ assured
them that you could be depended upon.
depended on l guess l can. My
poor and dead and gone husband, he
belonged to the Free Masons, or anti
Masons, L don't know which, He used
to tell me all the secrets of the concern,
and when he showed me all the marks
of the gridiron, made when he was init
lated, and told me how they fixed poor
Morgan, 1 never told living soul to
this day if nobody troubles your secret
closet to find out your secrets till do,
they will be there till they rot, they
will"
Il thought so,'' said the guardian,
''and now want you to commence in
that corner and give the room Thorough
cleaning, and I pledge my word and hon.
or to the fidelity Of your promise now
don't get into the closet;;' and then
left the lady to herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound
of his feet on the last step than she ex-
claimed "Dont get into the closet!'' l'll
warrant there's gridiron or some non-
sense, just like anti Masons for all the
world, I'll be bound. l will take one
peep, and nobody will be any wiser, as
I can keep it to myself"
Suiting the action to the word she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closet, and
turned the button, which was no sooner
done than "bah !'' went the billy goat,
with a spring to regain his liberty, which
came near upsetting her ladyshlp. Both
started for the door, but it was filled
with implements for house cleaning, and
all were swept from their position to the
bottom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned by
such unceremonious coming down the
stairs, drew half the town to witness Mrs.
KS efforts to get from under the pile of
pals, tubs, brooms and brushes in the
street
Who should be first to the spot but
the rascally doorkeeper. After releasing
the goat, which was a cripple for life,
and uplifting the rubbish that bound the
good woman to the earth, he anxiously
inquired if she had been taking the de-
grees.
Taking the degree l'' exclaimed the
, lady; "if you call tumbling from the top
, to the bottom of the stairs with the devil
after ye, taking things by degrees, l have
them, and if ye frightened folks as ye
; frightened me, and hurt to boot, I'll war
, rant they will make as much noise as I
, did"
; 81 hope you did not open the closet,
madam" said the doorkeeper.
"Open the closet? Eve eat the apple
she was forbidden. If you want a wo-
: man to do anything, tell her not to do it,
e she'll do it certain. I couldn't stand the
. temptation. The secret was there. l
, wanted to know it. Lopened the door,
e and out popped the tarnal critter right
4 into my face. [ thought the old boy had
me, and I broke for the stairs with the
critter butting me at every jump. fell
over the tub and got down the stairs as
you found us all in heap"
.But, madam" said the door-keeper,
'.you are in possession of the great secret
of our order, and you must go up and be
initiated and then 60 in the regular
way
+ Regular way p exclaimed the lady,
n '.and do you suppose I am going near
; the tarnal place, and ride that ar tarnal
critter without a bride or lady's sad
j die? No, never [ don't want nothing to
do with the men that rides it. I'd look
o nice perched upon a billy goat, wouldn't
!. I? No, never I'll never go nigh il
4 again, nor you nuther-if can prevent
o it, no lady shall join the Odd Fellows.
Why, I'd sooner be Free Mason, and
be broiled on gridiron as long as the
fire could be kept under it, and pulled
- from garret to cellar with halter, in q
l. pair of old breeches and slippers, just
e as my poor dead husband was. And he
9 lived over it, but never could live ever
y such another ride as took to-day"
Il