Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-01-02
.sPatent MISUNDERSTANDING for Get
ting Rich.

GET from the medical dispensatores,
or elsewhere, any simple stimulating
compound or tonic, or take cheap whisky
and color it, adding any cheap stuff to
give it q medicinal taste. Adopt any
name you choose, the more nOnsenslcal
or mysterious the better-one having an
Indian, or japanese, or Turkish sound
will be all the better. Employ the glass
blower, or printer, or both, to get up
fanciful bottles, or boxes, or labels. Look
out that the package, contents Included,
don't cost over five to eight cents. Assume
for yourself name, as near that Of some
noted physician as you dare 60, md add
to the end of it " D., F. K. S., d. i,
etc, etc. Write q long story about your
great age, experience, and success abroad
Invent 80 to 100 or 200 wonderful cures
wrought by your medicines, giving names
in full, with residences, date, etc, but be
carefulto not blunder into giving any
real name of any person living in
the same place. Can improvement
is to refer specially to one or
two persons, and have an ally at the
place, to receive letters Of inquiry, and
write false letters confirming the story
you tell of their being cured1 Ifyou con-
meet with your medicine o touching story
about some old mythical person, or
Indian, or South American, all the better
These matters arranged, advertise your
medicines largely. Print and scatter cir
culars, pamphlets, and pictures by the
ton. Call for agents, and let them give
away samples of your medicine, to be
paid for if it does good You may begin
| in small way with a few hundred dol
lars (priRting is cheap now, but five or
ten thousand dollars or more will make a
more brilliant show, and produce large
proportional returns. Resuh.-Iou will
reach multitude of weak, nervous,
ignorant people who are slightly
ailing, or think they are. They
will take your stimulating or
| tonic preparations, and 'feel better"
right away. They will believe they have
| escaped or been cured of some terrible
disease (the symptoms of which you
in your circulars. Henceforth, you have
not only regular customer, but one who
will sign your certificates Of cure as
strong as you can write them, and will
talk up the wonderful virtues Of your
medicines to others. A dozen of your
boxes or packages, costing you less than
a dollar for the whole, If given away in
any neighborhood, will find you one or
| two ardent customers, and thenceforth
you may depend upon the annual sale of
a hundred bottles or parcels, at 81, So,
or 50 each-the price to depend upon the
skill you use Tor buy of some penny-a-
liner in writing up the medicines. The
druggist of the town, as your agent -
will Of course help scatter the medicine
if you give liberal profit. If you set
aside three quarters Of the receipts to
cover cost Of bottles, advertising, com
missions to retailers or agents, etc, you
will still have net profit OF say $50 a
year from each town where your medi-
cine is well introduced. If you only
| secure / 900 such towns in the whole
country, you still get the modest income
of $50, coo year! Do you ask, 'Is this
all true?" We answer, that this is fair
history of the [averagel patent-medicine
| bnsiness-with the variations Of pills
which give relief to some cases, and
| opiates which, under the namo Of sooth-
! ing syrups, etc, give quiet to young and
old babies at the expense Of future health.
american Hqricutturist