davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
An Old Joker.

Away back IN the state oi Nev
York lives q Dutch farmer, we'll TODD
Ia the world, who always keeps
around him thousand dollar bill.
With this 10 his pocket and shabby
coat on his back, he prides himself or
playing tricks with straugcrs--par.
ticularly such country merchants as
have recently commenced business
10 the neighborhood, and arc not ac-
quaiu,ed with his pecuuiary circum.
stances.
/ As ON instance Of this kind he went
lately TO q new merchant, with his
clothes all 10 rags, his toes sticking
out through his shoes, his hat with.
out q crown, and his beard fort
night old, and ordered q few dollars
wo, tn Of goods. The merchant stared
at him but as there was no grca,
hazard in laying out articles for him,
none Of which were to be cut, ho ex-
ecuted tho demand. When the
goods were ready, the merchant star
ed still more to hear his scurvy. look
ing customer ask him to charge them
Charge them !" exclaimed the
man of merchandise, "wc're not 10
the habit of charging our goods "a
everybody. We keep lookout for
breakers"
"Wou't you charge 'om don ?"
mot to you, l thank you You
must have q better coat on your
back, to expect to get credit from US.
"Den you won't charge EN-" con.
tinued the Dutchman, with great mo
derstion. IL must try and pay for EN-
down, ifso be supposin' can muster
money enough Then taking q
thousand dollar bill from his pocket
be extended il to the merchant
with q sly leer on his faco, and said
"Will you change dat 7"
"Tbat-What q thousand dollar
bill Is II possible tbat-that mar
of your appearance
"Wha,. misthur, be's you scarf, bal
Did you novcr see o thousand dol.
lar bill afore T.
"A man Of your appearance" con.
tinued the merchant, with thou
sand dollar bill l could have svorn--
"None o your swearing here, if you
please, misthur, but give mo mine
change dat may bo off to mine farm
again.
"Off to your farm A thousa nd
dollar bill Who arc you, If 1 may
be 80 bold ~
"Who be's l. Why don't you
know your own neighbors man? My
name is Fritz Van Volger, q poor
farmer, nit no moro as Thousand
acres Of laut, aud dis small bill in
mine pocket. so, if you'll change -.
aud lei mo be gone. ~! tsoL you.
"Change it Lord, sir, where shall
ge: money OF morning to change
u thousand dollar bill o.
will you trust me, den y
"Trust you Mr. Van Volgor, that
will. to the amount of a thousand
dollars, il you wish. You didnt sup
pose was afraid to trust you 2" said
the merchant, growing very comp!ais-
aut.
"Ha ha ~ roarcd the Dutchmau,
as loud a. he could laugh-you be-
gins to haul in your horns little,
does you i-Strauge what wonders "A
small thousand dollar bill will work
in mans good opinion So you'll
drust me now. will you T.
"Cer,ainly, certainly, sir"
"No, III be vip't it yon shall--if
so DO supposin' ] can find silver
enough in mine pocket to pay you"
As he said this, he hauled out an
old stocking full Of dollars. paid Tor
tho goods, and giving another hearty
laugh at the astonisbed and sudden
change Of opinion Of the merchant, he
departed.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30

How TO BET.-A Yankee arrisin,
10 town without money or friends
was revolving in his mind som,
plan whereby he could raise th,
chiak. rs he expressed it. Jouatha'
had never visited Lewistown before
He strolled In to u shoemaker's wher,
an advertisement, "Wanted q frs
class Boot Maker" appeared on the
window, and accosted the proprietor
"Do you want first class boot max
er here p
.'Yes."
"What do you payf'
That depends on your capacity
Have you worked ut custom work ?"
II reckon. You just try mo cap
tain, / haint skeered q bit at tryin.''
The proprietor gave his new hand
"A bench snd materials, aud bade him
nske u pair of ladies gsiters. Soon
after he left the store on business
Jonathan made q shoe, but such a
horrible affair, that, ashamed to show
II. he hid IL IN the leather shsvings
just as he completed the secood shoe
the proprietor returned. He few 10,
tn passion on beholding the botched
shoe. lcis % o
E "You confounded rascal, 90 bad a
hoe ~ that has never bsen made 10
this establishmspt |" he exclaimed.
"Would you like TO bet On tha,
ssrsugerf' .aas ~ eam a.-.,I
.ist. Yes. ] bet ten dollars no
snoh work - that wss, ever dose ID
this stors." l ass1g 81 tr,.l 80,
jonathan walked 70 ths ,shsvings,
dsaggsd pesrth his slos. sad eoolly
P'sssd's bis sssa es!lAys walked s&
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
DARTMOUTH HOUSE.
II NEAR THE DEPOT.
Mi(ldleburg. Pa.

GEORGE GUYER, PRopaIsroR
This house 10 in clpse proximity to the
depot and has lately been rebuilt and re.
fit ed. .sRooms oommodious-,the table we'll
supplied with the hest the market affords
AND terms moderate.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30

A German, speaking of a severe
headache he had had the previous
evening, said to his companiol. /.
''AIine got! mipehead it tached So pad
/ couldn't raise it OFF mine pillow un-
til / gots up and walks around lit
tie !"
A little boy in Georgetown nan
into the house the other day, crying
at the top of his v"i"n -
another
put m
Som
ents
An
ses Il
He 4
dous
81
ful th
thing.
you &C
mense
this pre-,
|hiad~ Il
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
A G. SIMPSON,
II. ATTORNEY AT LAW,

Sclinsgrovc IA,
ofcrs hi, professional service TO the pub
lic All business entrusted to his care
will be promptly attended TO.
IJan. l., 'G7tf
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
A W. POTTER,
ATTORNEY At Ia ".

- beNuHBroV6 F0.
Offers his professional services 10 the
public. All legal business entrusted to his
care will receive prompt attention. Office
one door above the New Lutheran Church.
July. 4th ~.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
DROWN HOUSE

DROWN HOUSE
- PAXTONvILLE, tBenfcr station.
HENRY BENFER, Proprietor.
above named place, on the road nom SildGriT
burg TO BetvertOwn, and that he is prepared Ia
entertain the public with first class accom- m oda
ti0ns. HENRY BENFER
April Q, 1871.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
WIN. VAN GEZER,
w ATTORN AT LA'

Lowisburg Pa,
Offers his professional service to ,e pub
lie. Collections and all other Procession
al business entrusted TO his care vii re-
oeive prompt attention.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30

What he does. he does alone
Yet he hopes IL wins her thought.
All hat in his soul has grown,
To her sovereign feet is brought,
ToSiis soul her image cliugs,
She seems woven In all things,
And each thought that in him stirs,
Is not for his sake, but bers.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
THE POST.
--->ss-
rablished every Thursday Evening by
JEREMIAH GROUSE, Prop'r.
Terms of Subscription,

Terms Of Subscription,
Two EoLLA RS PER ANNUM. Pay
able within siy months, or s2.50ifnot
paid within the year. No paper dis
continued until all arrearages. are
paid unless at the option of the pub
Usher.
Subscriptions outside Of the county
PAYABLE IN ADVANCE.
nyPenons lifting and Using papers
addressed to others become subscribers.
ana are liable forthe price ofthc paper
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30
q q { n v.
TIE TRUE LOVER.
BIT rHs LATE HREp'K W. Loprso.

Do you ask me, starry eyes,
To describe the lover true 7
Wonder not at my surprise.
Who. should know as well as you.
Think Of oil that you have seen,
All the lovers that have been;
lie Is true whose love Is shown.
For her sake, and not his own
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1873-10-30

This 10 the true lover sweet
True rs ever am true;
For my love Is all complete.
Perfect since il comes'from you.
Dar ling. yet tits not true-no
For could not let you 60.
For ! must keep you where you've grown
For my sake, aud for your own,
V.
For. your own. because I love
More than any other can
More than ever love could move
Heart Of any former man.
Look at me and then agree,
.N~p4beve ever loved like me-
Is because l live in you.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
Prairie Chickens.

That it ia neither, right, proper or cafe to
shoot the festive prairie chicken before the
time prescribed by the game Law seems to be
warranted sequence from the manner in
which party of hunters from this city were
treated by Jefferson county constable about
three days ago. August lat was only forty
eight hours of when they strapped on their
powder TASKS and shot pouches, but they
were restless and could not wait.
The party numbered three, and when
hey stepped into the wagon which was to
coavey them to the scene of slaughter each
one scofied at the idea of their being taken
to task for what they were about to do.
While on the road they thoroughly and ex.
haustive!y discussed the probabilities Of their
being caught at their fun and fined. and in
ord. r to preclude the possibility Of any such
thing occurring they made up their minds
to drive to lonely prairie in the neighbor-
hood Of O.Laloo,a and there burn their pow
der. Their destination having been settled
they we're happy. Reaching the prairie
above mentioned the party made the feathers
Hy in all directions, and when night
fell; Caucus was held snd
thirty dead birds were exhibited
a. trophies of the afternoons work. This was
considered pretty good luck and the gentle
men were not at all shy about telling Of the
sport they had unlawfully INDUCED in. The
result was that constable called on the par.
ties, took them to OskaloOsa, and there they
we're obliged to give bonds for their appear
L Al
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
Agricultural College.

The Board of Regents Of the Kansas State
Agricultural College met pursuant to ad-
journment, at Manhattan, July 9th, 1873.
Psychologists Denison, Reynolds,
Adams, Hudson, Copley and Green.
Prof. W. K. Kenzie was chosen TO the
Chair Of Chemistry.
Prof. J. S. Whitman was elected TO the
Chair Of Botany and Entomology.
Prot. NJ. l.. Word was elected to the
Chair Of Mathematics.
Rev. John A. Anderson. of Junction City,
vas elected President of the college.
Regent Hudson introduced the following
resolution, which va adopted:
Resolved, That this Board Of Regents
hereafter meet in open session, except when
upon executive business.
Regent Hudson offered the following reso.
luton, which was adopted:
Resolred, That labor shall be compulsory
upou every Student attending this institution,
under ench regulations as may be made by
che faculty.
The Executive Committee was instructed
70 rent rooms 10 be used by the classes in
music.
The following resolution was unanimously
adopted:
WHEREAS, By the resignation of DR..
Deniaon, and the withdrawal of his name for
reelection to the Presidency of this institu-
ton, his connection seems permanently sew
ned with the same; Therefore,
: Resclred, By this Board, that We fully ap-
pseciate the debt of gratitude due from the
Aafe to him, for the Icing and able service
and unsverving devotion 10 the interests Of
Ne college, in the di.charge Of duty, under
Ne most trying and difficult circumstances.
:; The Board then adjourned to meet Tues
~. September ID, 1873. at 10A.M.
WM. BuneoYx1,
6ooulsu.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07

A lady who lives a little distance out in
the country came to town few DAYS ago to
do some shopping, and during her absence
three little girls, daughters in neighboring
family, got possession of the key to the
house and unlocked the doors. The devil
must: havej:inpelled them to the work that
followed. They emptied a lamp full Of
kerosene on to the parlor carpet. The stove
coverings, with their coatinss of SCOT, we're
piled on TO the sofa. A package of photo
graphs, preserving the shadow if not the
substance of far-away friends. were seized
by the youthful narauders and torn into
countless pieces. Bureau drawers were
opened, their contents dragged forth, and,
after being reduced to ta,tsrs, scattered to
the four corners of the building. The baby's
fine clothes, which, together with some Of
the lady's garments, depended from the wall,
we're soiled, unused, and even reduced to
shreds. They rolled the bed ticks on the
floor, hurled the pillows into opposite cor
ners, knotted the coverlets like empty sacks,
and lathered the bed springs with a bottle o.
Group medicine. They unecrewed several
piece, from a Singer sewing machine and
scattered them about the room. Then they
lugged srmsful of dishes into the parlor and
built miniature palaces and tumble-down
houses. Matches were flung recklessly
around. A quantity Of milk, which had
been up-et in the general disorder, dsubed
and be irabbled everything. 1t is bnt justice
TO remark that the "little midgets' received
trouncing from the broad hand Of their
"ma" which will prevent their sitting down
for a Who'll. month.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
HANNAH r. KNAPP.
An Ilnportss,t Letter

From . prominent gentlemen and resident Of Gin
cinnati Ohio, for the past forty years we'll known
to the newspaper publishers throughout the United
States:
NEW YORK, Oct. 18th. 1870.
DR. RAnwAY-Dear Sir: I am iniuced by a
seI:e OF duty to the suffering to make brief state
n.eEt of the working of your medicine on myself
For several years ! had been affected with some
trouble in the blade; AID Urinary organs, which
some twelve months ago eliminated in a most ter
ribly affecting disease, which the rhysicirns all
said vas spasmodic structure in the I'M, also
Inflammation of the kidneys and bladder, and gave
IL as their opinion that my ag-7s y-ars-would
prevent my ever getting radically cured. had
tried q number Of physicians. and had taken a
large quantity Of medicine, b'h al!opa:hic and
homeopathic, but got relief hal read o.:
astonishing cares having been TIA 'e by your REM
edies; and some tcur months ago read a uotc. in
the philadelphia saturday Evening Post of a cure
having been affected on person who Ia hong been
suffering as l had been. I went right oil and got
scnae Of each-your Sarsspariian Eesoivent, Ready
Relief ard Regulating Pill.-and commenced tax
ing them. In three days | was greatly relieved
and feel As well a. ever.
C. w. JAMES, Cincinr sli, Ohio.
o~Price, one Dollar per hottie. Sold by drug
gists everywhere, and ut DIR. Railways. No. 81
Warren. cor. Charoh street n. y.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
DIR. BOHANNAN.
OFFICE No. sIs NORTH FIFTH STREET.
ST. LOUIS, NO.

E>TABLisAED IN ST. LOUIS IS is.
6tCRE3 all Chronic and Special Disease, in a
" short time, either In male or iemale CHAR,
loo fees; uses no mercury.
DIR. Bohannan's Treatise on Special Diseases"
which fully explains the nature, cares, symp-
toms de-, OF o. ermstorahea seminal weakness
syphilis. female complaints, all impedin.ents 70
marriage, and valuable information other deli
cate subjects. ssnt free 10 any address in Jain
sealed envelope, on recent Of one stamp.
SEMINAL wEAKNEss CURED.
DR.. Bohannan's Vegetable Curative permanently
s.res I'll forms Of lIefmaforzhez or ssuinsl WeaK-
zen In from two TO seven weeks time. II restores
lost power, and bring back the youthful vi,or OF
Of those rho have destroyed it BY sexual exces. Of
evil practices. This remedy has been used by Or
yesrs. and has never ALLIED in curing even the
vosss cesea. Price 8: issat 10 any .ddrs.s fee
from ohsefvstioa-l Sold ely u Dr.. z. a.
Lssis, No, EsesbtisAsa II 1851. sevlsaiv
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
A LIVELY FRACAS.
Knocked Down by a ''Slung Shot
A Woman Kicked i'm the Stomach
An Exciting Chase After the
Perpetrator Of the Outrage,
but he Escapes.

Quite an exciting affair occurred at the ar
senal grounds Friday, which was not down
OH the regular programme. A dancing
platform had been erected in the thicket
at the south side of the picnic grounds, and
here those Who did not care to hear the ora
tors Of the day, spent most Of the afternoon,
tripping the light fantastic toe" Every
thing went on smoothly until about half
past fo1r, when one OF the masculine dane
ers tee ,me enrsged at one Of his lady
friends, and, totally ignoring the rules OF
etiquette, stepped up to the fair one and, be-
fore any one could prevent it, deliberately
kicked the damsel in the stomach.
One of the Order of Benevolsnts from
Lawrence, whose name We were unable to
learn, proposed to give him = thrashing for
his rude and ungentlemanly conduct toward
the lady. Such proposition Of course re-
CURED little discussion, and while the Law
renee man got the better of bis opponent in
the use of big words. the other quickly set
tied the argument by bringing in squelcher
in the shape of heavy slung shot with
which he dealt the Lawrence man . muir
derous blow over the eye, sending him to
grass in a confused heap. c. then started
to run pursued by q dozen or more bystanders.
He succeeded in eluding them, however, and
jumping a deep ditch struck of in the direc-
ton Of the river. His pursuers seeing he
was about to escape fired several pistols shots
after him, but failed to bring him down.
By this time the man who had been sr lck
returned to consciousness, and rushing into
the crowd in the vicinity Of the stand, his
.hirt all covered with blood, cut loose a
horse hiiched to one of the wagons and lash
ing the horse TO dead run siarted O head
of his asailant, who was making excellent
time across the Reserve in the direction OF
the city. Several other horsemen joined in
the prn1;t, and hundreds Of pedestrians
started "across lots" to witness the fun.
From the wagon sheds near the Government
stock yards the chase came in full view, and
il was of a most exciting character. The
tiying horsemen had 10 make long detour
in order to escape the fences and gain the
river, and the fugitive aware that
he had no time to lose was
busting" over the knobs and gullies in
manner that impressed the anxious lockers on
with the idea that he would reach cover be-
fore he could be overtaken. Such proved
to be the case, and as soOn as the thick I'M
derbrush on the river bank hid him from
sight the long lines of excited humanity be-
gan to come in out Of the fragrant dog fennel
an gather IN groups to discuss the cause OF
the ARRAY. The woman who was 30 I'M
kindly and Unexpectedly kicked began a
vigorous respiration about ten minutes after
the accident, and said there was nothing
hurt bu. her feelings. The man struck was
not seriously injured. The assaulting par
" is still at large. and 10 likely to remain so.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07

We see by the Boston Journal of the 18th
of July that the Colby University Of Water
vile Maine, has conferred the honorary de-
gree of Doctor of Divinity on the Rev.
Nathaniel Butler of the Baptist Church Of
Leavenwor,h, Kansas. We notice also an
account of the closing exercises in which a
son OF the Reverend gentleman takes a
prominent part as a graduate, Master Ma
,haniel Butler Jr. being honored by his Sc
lection for the closing Grafton. Hon. Jas.
G. Blaine and other distinguished gentle
men took part in the exercises. Kansas IL
commanding the attention OF the learned
institutions Of the country.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
DIR. J. r. MILLER'S
UNIVERSAL
Magnetic Balm

This medicine may with prop-iety he ca'lei an
''Oniversal Remedy il is last suprrsriing all
others rs general family medicine. II cures il
by MAGNETIC INFLUENCE Neuralgia and all
pain, and is therefore very properly termed Mag
netic Balm II is purely vegetable preparation.
lDhas no equal rs q remedy for
Cholera. GhOleSA MOebns, OsaVVhsRa,
% semsery, collie anse al Bow 81 C0as
p1a10s0.
Its timely use will cure Colds, Crop, Dip.heria,
uuinsy and all Throat affections.
When properly used, Fever and Ague AMI o, her
complaints incident To western and southern
climates are easily broken up.
Nervous pain, Sick Headache and Rheumatism
cured by this medicine when all others have
failed. Toothache, Earaehe, Burns, ChiIbiains
and Bruises are relieved at once by its rse
The great value and usefulness Of this medicine
has caused IL TO suner more from base limitation.
and counterfeits than any other medicine. The
genuine has ID. Ransom Il Co.'S private Revenue
Stamp IN the outside. and Dr. J. K. Miiler's " e
netc Balm blown in the bottle.
Examine closely AMI buy none hut the genuine
Sold by all druggists. Price p cents per bo;tie.
Ransom, Hamlin 4 60. Buffalo n. }.
apr9-eodSw
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07

Yesterday was an uneasy day for teamsters.
There seemed to be something in the atmos-
phere that filled the genus horse with IN
irresistible desire to kick loose from the
traces and strike out for themselves. Early
in the morning pair Of horses attached to
hack took the bits in their teeth and dashed
down Shawnee street, around the corner of
Fifth, and into farmers wagon in .pite Of
the divers efforts to check them.
Delaware street was the scene Of three rum
aways, but fortunately no great damage was
done, though several persons narrowly e.
csped being knocked down and run over by
the fractions animals.
A pair OF mules became frightened on
Cherokee street and sped down towards the
new Market House 1t pace that distributed
the load of lumber, 10 which they were At
tached, the entire length Of the street.
Non Broadw.y, = horse driven By gentle
man became unmanageable and backed into
the ditch, upsetting the buggy and smashine
the harness.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
The Kansas Agricultural and Mechnn-
ical AsSOcsa:tOn.

We are pleased 10 know that our ci!izeus
are responding molly to the efforts now be-
ing made by the officers of the Association,
above named, to make their Exposition, in
September, a grand sucoess in every par
ticular.
Wetrust that every citizen having the good
Of the city at heart, will contribute something
towards this enterprise. 1t now looks as
though We would have one of the largest
and best Fairs ever held in the West, and it
lie incumbent upon all citizens to help on the
effort. The managers are among our most
prominent citizens, and have made large e1-
peoditures in fitting mp the grounds, and in
preparing very liberal premium list.
Give them a cordial and hearty support
and thereby make success beyond doubt.
The premium lis, is now in the hands OF
the printer, and will be ready for distribu-
ton in few DAYS.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-08-07
The Wea Tier.

Sergeant Rowley, of he Signal Service,
ha, handed in his weather report for the
past month, and the following figures give
an account Of our treatmel 1t by the CLERK
of the Weather"
Highest barometer, 80 2i5; lowest barome-
ter, % 60i; highest thermometer, 81 low
Is; thermometer, So; total rainfall, 20i
inches; prevailing wind. south; total number
of miles Travelled, 1902; maximum We
Iocify of wind. - miles per hour; number OF
cloudy DAYS, >; number of rainy days, Z.