Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1873-05-31
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS.

plates.
VIvIsECTIoN-A,wife cutting her hus.
band up.
SLIPPERY CUsToMER-Orange and BAN
ana peel.
OFF CoLoR-Thc black republic of San
Domingo.
lice station.
WHEN is charity like bee? When it
begins to hum.
lT should always be feeSible to pay
your doctors bill.
BARBAC says that the straightest line i'm
politics is a curve.
THE article chiefly sold at our fancy
fdirs-The visitor.
THE LAW OF JURIEs-Many are called,
but few are chosen.
OUT West little colored children are
called charcoal sketches.
The way to treat a man Of doubtful
credit is to take a note OF him.
WAITING for something to turn up
always costs more than it brings.
WALL STREET OBITUARY-lIe died in
debt and the hopes Of a financial resurrec-
ton.
THERE is wealthy old fellow i'm Pekin
whom the Americans there call China
AStor.
a BEAR in New Jersey has been called
on TO take out a license because it is al
ways bruin.
WHY is the French carom game of bill
lizards like a pawnbrOker' shop: Because
it has three balls.
JoNEs. who was kept awake all night
with the tOoth-ache, says that he passed a
night of mourning.
Isn't it inconsistent to speak of the
apple of your eye" when everybody
knows they're a par?
DETROIT. Mimi. .aGvertises for "a large
nuuber of marriageable girls" New
England papers please copy.
EXCURSION parties are being organized
in san Francisco TO visit the Fiji and
other islands in the South Pacific.
The ladies are wearing what is known
as the snow ball veil. Ii is of black lace.
dott' d with white, and is very becoming.
JAMES says that his sweetheart is like "a
melon because her ''old man" has locked
he- up and she cantelope. This issmelan-
choly.
The red flag is symbOlical of~evolu-
ton. Even the peaceful auctiOnee. filings
it 10 the May breeze while knocking down
our furniture.
The latest verdict recorded was upon a
gentleman who expired in fit of inebria-
ton. The jury returned: Death by
hanglnS-rounda grOg-shop."
TO harmonic discordant natures. and
out of conflicting individualities to de-
velop happy home, is one of the great
est triumpns that woman can achieve.
CEREBRO-sPINAL-ME is a tough
word for telegraph operators to get hold
of on the wires. \ Sioux City lightning
jerker wrote it out "Carabo Spencer's
Menagerie."
THAT was an unhappy editor who wrote
that white pique costumes are now pop
ular' and was gravely informed by the
proof next morning that white pine
collins are not popular
1T is an unparalleled mercy to be pre-
served from corruption in the midst of
general infection. 1t is far better to be
innocent than penitent; to prevent the
malady than invent the remedy.
DEMONoLOGY and witchcraft are regu-
larly studied, now, by servant women. A
lady says that her new parlOr-maid often
forgets to lay the cloth. so absorbed is she
in learning how to play the Evil One.
A COOP REAsON-Lucy: Mamma.
Charlie says he would like to be clergy
man?' Mamma: "Tell me dear. why
you would like to be a Clergyman" Char
lie: Why, then | could talk as much
as like in church ~
No BULI.-If a person has, by negli-
gence or default of railway company.
sustained incalculable injuries, can he re-
cover! No doubt Of it; and, sure, the
law in this point, if it does not, ought, by
all means, toextend to Ireland.
SOME cfcdulOus person suggests as a
preventive of bank defalcatiOns, that can
didates for clerkships should have their
heads phrenOlOqically examined. Pshaw
1t is the accounts and not the noodles OF
cashiers, that should be examined.
The WAY OUT OF IT.-Emmy: "Can
you say your letters, GeOrgey?" Geor.
gey: "Oh yes, Emmy-there is A B i
q c." Emmy: "Well, don't you know
any mOre?" GeOrgey: ''Oh, yes.
know lots more; but haven't got them
here, so can't show them to you"
AN exchange has the following obser
vatiOn: I'VE always get mad when W.
walk along street about O'Clock, anC
passing shaded porch where a young
man it bidding his beloved good night
to hear the girl exclaim in a loud whisper
"Oh, stop, George, you haven't shaved
AIRY NOTHINGs-A provincial cOntem
pOrary. that seems to be suffering from
sort of journalistic bilious bachelordOn
snarls: 1.-The latest feminine fashion o
wearing the front hair is known as tn,
skye terrier style" OF course the angel
derive their fashions from the skyes.
A FAMILY in Vermont, on resuming In
tercourse with the external world afte
the winters seclusion amid impcretrabl
snOwdrifts. are Mortified to find that the
have for several weeks been breaking tn
Sabbath in secular pursuits and keepin
Monday holy instead.
A GERMAN psychologist has discovere
that tobacco smoking by boys " interfere
with the molecular changes coincider
with development of tissues, and make
the blood corpuscles oval, and irregular Z
the edge" ANY parent can thus ascel
tain if his boy smokes by merely takin
out handful Of his blood corpuscles an
observing their edges.
A KANSAS district school was recsntl
visited and addressed by Messrs. Bi
Mouth, Powder Face, and Spotted Wolf.
all the nOblest kind of noble red men.
mischievOus school boy placed . pin Ira
where Big Mouth sat down. and t6e-ohis
, tain was observed to rise LASTLY and 4
marx: ugh! too much flea bite. n
no stay to hear class in analytical gvo!'
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