The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-08-07
Ludicrous Revenge of Milesian Coach
man.

An amusing incident, or rather a series of
incidents happened TO a Mr. L., a worthy
merchant in Chicago, who hired a coachman,
Mike by name. lie worked like charm
till the first pay day, and then when he had
obtained his first installment Of wages he
celebrated that glorious event by an ignoble
drunk, and was promptly discharged from
LIS service. Now Mike was as gentle per-
son as ever lived-so long as he had all lac
wanted and could get more-but otherwise
he was as treacherous and Vindictive as the
untutored Modoc.
On the day following his discharge, Mike,
filled with alcoholic ardor, presented his fra
grant person at Mr.. LIS house on Calumet
avenue, and raised connection lie cursed
and swore, and the brogue was very rich
and racy. Mrs. l., however, became alarm
ed and sent for her husband, who came home
as rapidly as he could, bringing with him
two men from the Office. Finding the Mi
lesian hero on his premises, Mr.. l.. deliber-
ately elected him. Michael was very brave
however, and remained round the premises
until it became necessary TO call IN the aid
of two policemen, who were detailed to
watch the house. MichaePs courage wilted
at sight of two substantial clubs, and he
changed his base of operations. He went
to the morning paper offices and caused an
advertisement to be inserted, requesting any
III
to Mr. LIS residence and claim "A reward.
The consequence of this adroit proceeding
was exceedingly ludicrous. When Mr.. l..
came down to breakfast he was encountered
by ten or a dozen women, boys and men,
each leading by string one or more yellow
dogs. He demonstrated against the intro
duction of yellow dogs to his household, but
"sure an it was in the papers" and similar
explanations, was all the satisfaction he
4 LII. - A.. l.. Al q
batch more came III, until thirty or more
Celts, with three times that number Of yell
low dogs, had been turned away.
As it became apparent TO the finders Of
the yellow dogs that Mr.. l.. was the victim
of practical joke, they grew boisterous and
derisive, and the unfortunate merchant was
compelled to 90 down TO his office without
breakfast, determined hereafter that the
words German or scandinavian preferred"
should be his motto in hiring coachman.
But his troubles were not yet at an end.
The loss of his breakfast brought him home
hungry to lunch. On nearing his house
the first thing that met his astonished gaze
was an enormous pile of shavings, and a few
feet off a gigantic load of straw The
neighbors looked at him in blank surprise
They supposed he bad suddenly gone crazy,
and was preparing for grand conhagratiOn !;
or, perhaps, had forever foresworn feather
beds, and would henceforth sleep in clean
shavings and fresh straw.
His angry look confirmed the popular sup
position, and poor Mr.. l.. was Immediately
booked for Jacksonville His temper did
not improve at the sight of twelve dozen
live ducks hocking noisily about in the yard,
and quacking CONSERVATION at their ridicu-
lous predicament He walked hurriedly TO
the house, and at the basement door found
man insisting on leaving forty pounds Of
Goldfish at the door, and refusing to listen 10
any denial Of his right TO do 80. He ran UP
stairs to inquire of Mrs. L. what new streak
of insanity had seized the house, when he
was confronted with the question, "What in
the name of common sense possessed you 70
send all these people here" A peal Of
laughter explained the situation. 1t was
Mixes doing.
He had been round'to all Mr.. LIS trades
men, and ordered them to send round goods,
Of which the ducks straw, shavings, and
Goldfish were but the first installments. He
had also called on every employment Office
in the city, and left an order for two men
and two women To call Immediately az Mr..
LIS house. And all through the whole az
ternoon they continued to arrive. Mr.. l..
thought the thing was good enough for
practical Joke, but there was such thing as
a limit even to a good thing, and applied TO
a lawyer for advice. He told the story to
the attorney, who roared with laughter over
the dismal recital, and when asked for in
structions, replied that Mr.. J.. could law
fully shoot Mike if he ventured on his
premises, but advised him TO hire the rascal
over again.