Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1873-11-29
Real BackWOOds HumOr.
Anecdotes of the "Hawbucks."

Anecdotes of the "Hawbucks."
Edward Eggleston in a sketch of
baokwoods humor gives us the follow
ing:
1 have been not little interested in
studying the humor of the "Hoosier"
that is, the rough back-country class
who are laughed at by all the rest. You
laugh at the hawbuck, but the hawbuek
has somebody in his imagination green
er and lower than he is, and it gratiies
his vanity to tell stories of blunders
which he would have scorned to make.
1 have found. in conversation with the
rudest people, that they always told me
jokes of ruder people. There is no fun
in these stories, or not much to culti-
waited people, but they are at least curl
Gus as illustrating the character of
these people who tell them and laugh
at them by the wide open fre-places of
their log cabins. Will you hear some
of them
There were once two young men wee
had never been away from home, who
went to town on an errand of some sort.
They conspired together and bought
two and half cents worth of ginger
bread. AS they walked along the streets
stufing it into their mouths, one OF
them nudged the other and said
claws, Sam if marm knowed we wuz
takin' sech a splurge would'n she gin
us goss ?" There's not much humor in
this truly, as I tell it; but told by q
boy, who, poor as he is, never takes
change below "fp"-fve cents-and
who laughs all over when he tells it, ]
have found it quite amusing.
Here is one like unto it: Two young
men from "Injeanny," strolling through
Cincinnati, come to the sign "City
Hotel" One Of them spells it thus
"C-i-t, Kit, Y, Kitty, Hot, Hot, Kitty
Hot, e-l, Kitty Hotel. Thunder, Bill
that air mus be the same Kitty Hotel
rs used to keep tavern in Injinoplis.
This story never fails to bring laugh.
Sometimes the hero of the story is an
Trishman, sometimes negro. Gener-
ally, the Irishman figures as supreme
fool, while the negro often shows a
good deal of wit. "More rain more
rest" cried negro one day as it began
to rain. " I said more rain, more chuck
in corn in de barn, sah." Then this of
an Irishman: He had just arrived in
this country, and was crossing stream
on foot-log. Seeing bear come the
other way he took him to be a negro,
and bade him good morning, The bear
raised up, and, after the manner of
bears, clasped the Irishman to his
bosom. The Irishman, supposing this
to be sign of affection, hugs the bear
in turn. But finding that the "nager "
squeezed unconscionably hard, he affec.
tionately demonstrated with him. When
it got to be matter of life and death,
he pulled out his knife and said: can
if ye don't let go I'll hev to kill you )"
which he proceeded to do. The bear
rolled into the water, and the Irishman,
meeting q man soon after, informed
him that he had killed "nager," upon
which they returned and found the car
cass-pf the bear.
In some of the stories the negro ap-
pears as the "inferior being" In
Western parlance watch is called a
tunip. It is joke that has grown into
slang. One of the stories which I heard
on City Greek was this: A white man
met a negro with watch chain hanging
out, and asked: "What time is it by
your turnip?" claws, massa," an
swered the ingenious darkey, chow did
you know 'twas q turnip?" Behold
Bryan O'Lynn with black face.
Some of the exaggerations of the
Western people show the extravaganza
to which their humor tends. A man
who is fool is said not to have "the
sense the law allows" The law used to
exempt $3.50 from execution. A man
whs had less than this was in state of
extreme bankruptcy. A man who
threatens an enemy always proposes to
click him till his hide won't held
shucks." A bag which will not hold
corn husks is, of course, sorry affair.
A stingy man is "as tight as the bark on
a beech tree" " He squeezes quarter
till the eagle hollers." When man
shoots another, he }" siliviates him. u
And when man is in great danger,
they say "Saltpetre won't save him. u
[ do not know what this means, unless
it is an alusion to the preservation OF
meat by saltpetre. kave often heard
Westerner threaten another man that
he would tan his hide for him." and I
have heard an angry woman call out to
her hopeful boy "Ill warm your jacket
for you, my son !"