The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1873-10-23
W.HKTTLEJvGS.

-
Don't loaf about tho atrsets and depend on
the Lord for your ''daily bread " He isn't
running bakery. =. go 49,. .m..a
What some country newspapers oughvf to
do ia to firmly turn their backs on Latin and
keepthcir rollers clean. s.j aia la uof
We have the authority of an exchange that
the papers in certain part Of the country
are "fairly sparkling with advertisements
The most unpopular person in. Virginia Is
the man who demonstrated that kerosene
oil VIII cure snake bite just % we'll as
whiskey.
A paper in Dixon, KY, complains that the
hogs scrapiug their backs on the floor joists
OF the church put solemn thoughts to hasty
flight. 4 a3 a~saa
Danhury boy wants to know IL 1t Is
right for his folks tc pay $500 for piano for
bis sister, and make him pick berries Tor cir
Gus money.-Dan6ury Ne,os
The demand for ready.made sermons haA
become So great In England that they are
to be had neatly Autographed for The small
price OF two shillings per dozen.
A dead Chicago man has had q five-ten
monument erscteGte HE memory by his
widow, aud the lawyer wno got her divorce
from his successor has get lien en- It..
Minnesota has mere miles OF railroad thai
Massachusetts,. the former having 1.906. and
the latter l. 1853. In 1863 Massachusetts had
2,5S9 and Mnnosota only 81 miles.
The following Is a copy If q notice display.
ed in field in South London: "Ladies and
gentlemen are requested not to steal turnips..
Other persons, If detected. will be prosecu
ted"
A fire-cating resident of Bangor. Me-, has
challenged the reporter OF a local paper for
emitting his name from social paragra ph,
and now has the satisfaction of seeing him
self in print.
"Three towering intellects," says an At
lsnta paper, "met accidentally yesterday on
the streets"-stephens. Hill and Toombs.
The three inteltects shook hands and walked
off to the depot.
The vitality of some people is simpl4 as.
founding There is iong-ha'red youth at
Bnffalo who has written 700 verses, the re-
frain to which sim dying, mother, DYING
and withal he isn't dead.
Owing to war among the dry-goods mey-
chants at Denver, calcoeS were reduced
to two cents per yard, and every editor, re-
porter and minister In the place now wears a
in some instances, but still G
shirt.
A Georges bride is described In one OF The
ocAl papers as ''looking very lily Graded
n the golden glimmer OF some evening lake {
foam-aeck, snowy, yet sunHushed, browning
he ripplings OF some soft Southern sea.
What Is that, chiidren?' ~ asked q young
pastor. exhibiting 30 his Sunday. school u
naglc.lautern picture OF poor sinner cling
ny to cross tower ing out of stormy waves
q mid ocean. "Robinson Crusoe'' was the
Instant reply.
Clay county, Kentucky, auctioneer pull
q out revolver and announced: "If any
IAN goes to frolicing around while the sale
J going on shall interrupt him In his career
ut them shot-guns over by the fence an
cave 'em thArl"
The editor of a new paper In Nebraska,
cgins his Introductory article with the fol-
owing sentence: "The object In View in the
establishment of this paper is the procuring
means wherewith to buy bread aid butter
nd good clothes" .
WHATS your business?" asked Judge O :
prisoner OF the bar. "Well, I s'pose you
hight cali me a locksmith." "whcn did
GU last work at your trader 'Last night
'hen heard call for the perlIce made
olt for the front door"
The library of the late Cir Frederick Mad
en-. recently sold In London, contained )
mong other curiosities collection OF q, 500
Ingle half penny songs and ballads, such as
former times were sung about the streets
y the professional ballad singers.
The local editor of the Jacksonville, Fla,
republican compliments the honesty of the
postmaster at that place because a letter
obtaining ten dollar bill, addressed to an
I'D negro woman, was promptly delivered
o the party for whom 1t was intended.
Eyes like diamonds, hair like vexed mass
# golden feather. faultless form, and
land which no man can look upon without
n intense desire to kiss, are portions of the
description OF young lazy who is captain OF
schooner that trades with Houston, Texas