Rapides gazette. (Alexandria, La.) 1869-187?, 1873-10-18
Some Billings Biographies.

nngses. He waZ very phatt. Little did
he dream ov the glorious krop that waz a
going tew spring upfrom hiz sowing. He
waz born, az near as kan figger, about
the year 100, more or less. HiZ temper liz
represented az being az even az the figger
=. Hiz habits were az pure az the mountain
dew; he never drinkt any spurious rum,
nor root elevators. He went barefutt un-
I'LL hiz sd year, and ever afterwards luved
the naked futt. He waz good danser,
and realized thoze blessed old dshake downs,
now gone and fled. He was named after
the original Adam, and IL sed, bi them who
remember them both, tew resemble him
much in the kast ov hiz face. He waz too
fond ov the marvellous, he wouldn't tell a
lie exackly, but he could cum az near tew
it, az swallo kan to frogs noze, when
| they skim mud puddle. Adam Billings
IL now ded, beleave, but if he amt, and
| this should meet hiZ eye, he kant, think,
but admire the square manner in which his
luvely relik haz handled his case. Adam
Billings didn't leave much reputashun be
hind him, but what he did leave, is fair tew
middling. We ne'er shall see him more.
Probably not. Too true. Rather melan-
kolly than otherwise.
| ZEPHENIAH BILLINGS waZ phiddler bi
birth and purswashun. He also had an
| other gift, and that waz tew owe every
boldly. Late In life he quit phiddling, and
took up shumaking; but the world lost a
good phidler bi the Operashun, and got a
kussid poor shumaker. Oh! It's ever thus.
| At hiZ final deth he owed upwards ov 20
dollars, and hiZ leavings konsisted ov one
old phiddle, and pint ov Eastwood shu-
pegs. He would travel on foot miles tew
a kuntry tavern, and phiddle all mite at a
kuntry bawl for 75 cents, and owe the
| landlord two dollars and half mex mornin
for vittles and drink. Zeph' was an unprof-
table man to know, for he couldn't tend an
evening meeting, on Sunday, withOutrun-
ming into Diet to sumboddy. 1t waz sed ov
him, that he waz never known tew shed a
tear or pa Diet. He died finally, and i
presume he was saved; but he may hav
bin lost. for accidents will happen in the
uppermOst familys. He had cool he'd,
and warm harte. Bless Zepheniah Bill
lings, he was a ripe skollar on the phid-
die, and could pla g T'arc her dotcn, Sat-"
and sich dear old sweet-savoured things,
klean up tew perfekshun. He haZ gone
now, allass allass! but am prepared tew
say, i'm the language Ov another, Bully
for yu, Zephania :" All flesh IL grass. So
i've bin told. Funny. Mutch. ,..t
JEHOssIPHAT BILLINGS wuz a very kluss
man he never wuZ known tew waste en-
nything, by giving 1t away. The CRATE ex-
travaganse Ov hiZ life, and the one he new
er forgot tew speak Ov, waZ giving 3
dollars towards building the POrdunk
meetin hous. After he Civ the mummy, he
took such a deep interest in the work on
the meetin hous, that the kommitty wIz
obliged tew Civ him bak the mummy tew
git shut ov him. He swore he'd sue them
for the interest on the mummy, but he
never did. Jehoss' Billings wlz one ov
them kind ov men who mistake avarice for
ekOnemy. He died at the age ov 63, if i
hav sarched right, from an overdose Ov
klam chowder drank at free lunch. Je-
hossiphatt Billings had his phailings, hut
reckless eXtravaganse want among the lot,
he also had his virtues, but blind and ire
pressible generosity want among this lot
neither. He wuZ buried, without eny
fuss, in the year 12S6. What has bekum
ov him kant state. Sleep ON, JehOssi-
phat, in thi slumbers. IwOuld like tew
say sum more about Jehoss', but kant
without telling the truth. Truth liz sum-
times like hot pertato, the only way tew
handle it eazy, is tew drop it. wall dri
up here. The end. Hush! Lay low.
MELKIsIDEK BILLINGS waz dandy ov
the old skool, and also a lover. He loved
the whole entire femail populashun. He
parted hiz hare in the middle, and did it
uncommon even. He had one CRATE weak
ness which grew on him, and that waz the
length of hiz little finger-nale. Historians
say that this finger-nale CRU tew be yard
in length, but it strikes me that this must
be profound lie. Hewaz very punktil--
lious man, in hiZ everyday wear, and
drest chuck up tew the fashun. Melkisidek
hadn't mutch branes, but he didn't need
much, for hiz bizzness thru life wuz the
lover bizzness. Just before he died he mar
rid, and left one dauter, sentimental off
spring, who afterwards run away, at the
age ov 16, with dansing master. Mel
Billings wazov the nuter jender, he hadn't
karakter enuff to do emmy hurt, and Ov
kourse kouldn't do emmy good. He died
about the right time, ammo dOminOZe, l695,
and waZ buried comfortably in the grave
yard, at lower Pondunk town. Melkisidek
Billings waZ mi ansesstor, and that waZ
kind in him. He had an epitaff ON hiz
stone which don't rekolekt ov ever seeing
i'm print before, and for the benefit of those
who study theZe memorandums i will
translate it. "An honest man IL the nobtess
cork ou God" Good. amt it? Rather!
SOLoMAN BILLINGS waZ born the 26th ov
May 1922, old stile. He waz knOne fur
and near for hiz chunks ov wisdum, but,
like Soloman oy old, he could talk wisdum
better than he could do it. This liz the
way with all the wize men hav met lately.
Soloman Billings waz leetle slippery, but
he managed tew git thru life without slip
ping down much, and died reasonably
well. He waz sed, bi all who knu him,
tew be chuk full ev wisdum; he could tell,
bf looking at the egg, how mutch goslin
would weigh before 1t waz born, and when
the best time waZ tew set hen or gate
post. Soils mouth waz full ov wisdum !;
litening couldn't strike tree, just for fun,
but what he would preach moral sermon
from the tex. He waz dredful sertain ov
what he did kno, and want the least bit
unsertain ov what he didn't kno. find
in digging down tew the. hard pan ov Solo
man, mi ansesstor, that he had CRATE deal
ov vanity, large amount ov impudense, a
good supply ov inkredulity, just the
things, for all the world, tew make wize
phool out of. He died az aforesed. and /
look bak upon him az one who haz depart
ed this life. Adew, Soloman, mi ansesstor.
Deth IL tuff. Sumwhat! ! will add,
quite.