The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-03-29
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


What fearfully stad and solemn parsonage II
the fellow who runs the Earlyille Gazette. III
drawls out in a dolefully, sanctimonious dront
his objections to the Peak Family, because, all
they mix with their entertainment, ah! too mucl
of the comic.ah!"
4 correspondent of the New York Times pro
poses that capital punishment be abolished, and
that murderers be cxiled to some remote poin
in that pleasant country of Alaska, which We
have lately acquired. If this is agreeable to the
murderers--of course their preferences should
be consultative don'tknow but the idea is good
This doesn't seem to be good season for con
scentious congressman. Niety-cight OF then
had conscientious scruplcs against voting tho
money for themselves, but only three have had
scruples about keeping 1t. Don't 90 fishing on
sunday, my son, but if you do go, always bring
home the fish,"
4 certain young lady had better be careful
what she tells about squeezing on the railroad
bridge. We can't sec the difference between
squeezing on bridge and squeezing while stand
ing at gate, with the pale moon under a cloud,
The last "smacks" OF unfairncss.-NemS Letter.
The Ne,cs man must have tried both ways and
thus knows how it is himself.
In thinking about the Credit Mobier scoun
drels, who have been whtewashed, it struck us
that tar and feathers should be hereafter used
for such purposes.
There is pirate in san Francisco who has re-
tired to private life. Several such have just re.
tired at Washington, also
Played out politicians will soon appear US earn
est advocates Of the farmers wrongs Keep your
eye on 'em.-EL.
There is Cullen, of the Republican,, for instance
He is one of this class of persons.
Grant has no policy in opposition to the will Of
Congress when IL increases his salAry-EL.
And Congress had no will in opposition to the
President, SO long as lie was willing to sign bill
to increase their salaries. A mutual admiration
society founded or such satisfactory terms ought
to run smoothly.
Sewing machine agents do not seem to do well
IN Japan yet, owing to the people not being edu-
Gated up To the standard OF patience required to |
endure the efforts of this class. Recently the |
body of an agent was found in four pieces nailed
10 trees with his sample machine converted in
kindlingwood near by.
This shows a lack of patience on the part Of
the Japaneezers that is to be deplored But still
with perseverance this difficulty can be overcome
we nave many sewing machine agents whose
devotion to the cause is such.
Nanny" said precious little boy, who,
against his will was made to rock his hebv hrn |
tier, If the Lord has any more babies to rive
away, don't you take them"-EI
or course not; babies belong only TO founding |
asylums, and are out of place in gcnteel houses.
"Wbv do Won .,and On m,cb r,oro,, -, ,.,,,.
WlleS luncruly' asked n Df his npipbbor I
a. rnncb for mo o,d by, ' mVuu , nav uVie
Exchange. v
.r 49, a
, now hollow IL sounds!' said patient under
nc nioFehent cure, as inc physician was NlgOr.
'usiy PouhuIhg ms cnest; oh, lhats nothing! al
Su tnc uoc'of' walt tiii We get 10 The head
: Ichd73e. 9
ANY one fool enough to submit 10 he noundcd !,
N the chest Inv a MUSICIAN ,nust have = bou,.r -
!ead.
An ud scotch DeSSar, removing his bonnet, ad- n
ahcel TO clergyman Tor a bit OF charity. After
ecciyng piece OF silver, he said to the clergy "
f,arronnis "n vi, s. 't"h ye II giG ye on fc
rris ,,os ,,,,1,,,,7.oa o,.,,o.. - 80, N''9'
,rat;tpde So" a,
d
don't ms a badge LITTLE hatrhet svmh,Iico, vs. il
heir never TELLING a lie ~ -
This ,you,d ,o srr,o, p,
w. w y '''''''-,'"' II
While Kentucky woman was on her way to n
frankfort to have her name changed to Earring ;,
on, she met man who offered to change it to -
'on'S' anu sue .oid MN 10 go ahead.-hr.
'oneS iiao oe''eF not gettoo lar ahead Tor fear u
p;1..'.I.' -. D'o"h VI "iiil'"'
'4N'"'4S "na1 tHa' "ohiah wants Is anything IL
or change.
We find the following painful incident record. u
ed in an exchange. .
Tho otl,cr d. r'
Inv ptiCi uhy, lauY having occasion 10 leave