The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1873-06-06

flights, which knew full well was made
up Of wife, children, a waggish young
friend who lived with us, two visitors
and the servants-a full audience i'll
the dress circle looking down to see
the fun.
ooh, pas brought home the goat, 5"
said one of the children.
Yes, and he's practising with it"
said another
(Which degree is that performance
in ?" asked my wife.
"Glad we didn't go to the theatre
tonight, " chimed in one of the visitors.
Time! Time! ~ shouted my young
friend from the upper tier, and | thO't
so too, and went for the second round.
But now | changed my tactics; |
advanced slowly, keeping close to the
wall and endeavoring to get behind
the beast, thinking l would try the pats
on his rear with my boot again, i'll
hopes they would calm him and per-
suadc him to retire, as they had done
before outdoors; but he evidently OBJ
jected to a change Of base" and once
more charged home" upon me.
and the struggle commenced in earnest.
The goat lifted up its voice in loud
protestations of ''foul' play, and |
opened my mouth and gave utterance
to hopes and wishes in regard to goats
in general and this one in particular,
which it might not be proper to repeat
here, as | had my hands so full at the
time that | could not give my usual
thought and attention to the selection
of the elegant words and expressions
which usually characterize my conyer-
satiOn. | finally said: You brute,
You won't 90 out, ha but" and he
butted, and he was the strongest but
ter | ever met with-SO strong that in
spite of my holding by his horns, he
spread himself all over the hall, so
thoroughly stirring me up that lay
down on the floor to recover my equa-
nimity, at which the goat suggested a
series of round tumbIings, which we
went through with honor to ourselves,
and with great satisfaction to the de
lighted audience-and at the end of
which picked my self up from the floor
at the foot Of the stairs and saw the
goat regaining his corner at the end Of
the hall-giving a victorious bIeat as
he did so.
Round number twO-frst knock
down for the goat" came from aloft,
and an outburst Of cheers and clapping
Of hands followed.
Get on the goat and ride him, pa, 5"
cried one of the children.
Don't you need a saddle, dear ?"
queued my wife "Won't the door
mat do 2"
Human nature could stand it no
longer. was furious, and sprang for
the animal, regardless of time and sit
uation. He also started for me under
full sail, and as we closed, | sprang
high in the air with legs wide apart
and his head and neck passing under
me, lit square on his back, seized his
short tail, gave it a twist, and at the
same time, to make all even, gave my
legs a twist under him. felt that
was getting the best of it this time,
and as | gave the tail an extra twist,
| shouted, Now goat" but he must
have understood me to say, 'Now go
1t ~ for away he went up and down the
hall, backwards and forwards, the goat
wild and | nearly so, but beginning
rather to enjoy the ride as L heard the
laughs and cheers of the spectators,
and knew they were for me this time,
and especially when, through all the
chorus of shouts, | heard the commend
atory words from my wife, Don't he
ride nice for new beginner?"
At this point the goat, disgusted
either with the use he was being put
to, or at the peculiar curve | was Civ
inc to his tail bolted out of the door,
and as he did so | let go, rolled off,
sprang up and shut the door just as
the goat, having turned on the step,
charged upon me again and came with
his whole force crashing against one
| of the panels of the door, which he split;
but from the noise outside, | judged
the conclusion threw him down on the
steps and extOrted from him a loud
bleat of mingled despair and contempt
uous indignation.
"ROund number three-gOat flung
out of the ring" came down the stairs,
followed by ringing cheers and shouts
of Bravo, bravo" L put out the
light, and as [ ascended the stairs, my
wife commenced singing
''See the conquering hero comes !"
with chorus by the entire company.
For some time [ had a tender spot,
the touching Of which would make me
leap from my chair and fairly rave
round the room, and do my best | could
not regain the ground [ lost that night
on the Masonic question. Batteries
opened upon every Lodge night, and
one charge for wheat bran appeared
on my grocery bill, which my wife said
was for the goat when he came again,
until [ could stand it no longer, and
effected a compromise by agreeing to
give up the Lodge and stay at home
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