Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-12-11

gOOQ towards kllllu lawyer oOulSou, Ho" 9,
and it pears ter me ven I kill lawyer, l
kinder oughter get rebait!
ROUGH JOURNALISM.
A writer in the Cincinnati Gazette gives a
queer story about former city editor of the
Cincinnati Enquirer, named Bennett which
is an example of journalism common at the
West when Artemus Ward was "local" on
Cleveland newspaper, and Mark Twain a
gatherer Of river news on the Ohio. When
news was scarce, Bennett was in the habit Of
invenling extraordinary items for his depart
ment, a favorite resource being to make chill
dren fall from the landing of the Newport
ferryboat into the river, and to have them
rescued by his acquaintance. He had hon
ored one Mr.. Kellum (Celta Burleigh's first
husband )several times in this way, when the
fictitious savior of drowning innocents became
tired of the Joke, and at last called at the En-
quirer office and demanded that it should not
be repeated. He was assured that his request
would be complied with, and so it was in its
letter. but hardly in its spirit; for the next
day the Enquirer contained paragraph to
the effect that a beautiful little girl, the
daughter ola prominent citizen of Newport,
had fallen from the ferry boat into the river,
and that Mr.. kellum, who was standing by
and could have easily saved the child from q
watery grave, refused to render the least as
sistauce. When Kelum, boiling with rage,
went to the Enquirer to seek all explanation
of what he had begun to regard in the light
of persecution, his threats of vengeance were
suddenly stopped by Benefits taking off his
coat and coolly saying: "You are not bad
fellow in your way, Kellum, but I can't stand
any interference with my department. If |
make any statement in the Enquirer, you
must not come around here contradicting it..
That isn't journalism, you see, and it must be
put a stop to at any price" Kellum's wrath
instantly subsidized, and the two men remained
friends until Bcnnett's death.
OLD Pur1Ls.-A story is told in Arkansas
of pedagogue who once came from Tennes-
see to establish school. He secured small
cabin on Crowley's ridge for schoolroom,
and after giving due notice opened his institu-
ton. Presently the door opened and there
appeared at the threshold two tall, ungainly
youths, each with shot gun on his shoulder
After placing their guns in a corner of the
room these promising pupils took seats on one
of the rear benches. The teacher examined
them in regard to their requirements, and
found them both ignorant of the alphabet.
One Of the young men was at once taken in
hand, and the teacher very properly began
with an attempt to fix the letter A in his
mind. The frequent repetition of the name
of this letter attracted the attention of the
other pupil, who came forward and asked to
be shown the letter A. His reasonable re-
quest was granted, when, after moments en-
animation of the letter, he turned up his nose
contemptuously, saying, "Doggon A! If
that's all he is he'll be no 60 in Arkansas"
whereupon both the boys shouldered their
guns and marched off, leaving the schoolmas-
ter alone in his glory. The pedagogue came
to the conclusion that he had made a mistake
in selecting his field of operations.
~ Andrew jackson was once making a
stump speech in country village out West
Just us he was concluding, Amos Kendall,
who sat beside him, whispered, 'Tip 'em lit
tie Latin, General; they won't be satisfied
without it." The "hero of New Orleans" in
stantly thought ofa few phrases he knew and,
in voice of thunder, wound up his speech,
by exclaimiug: "E pluribus unum, Sine qua
non, Ne plus ultra, Multum in parvo." The
effect was tremendous, and the shouts could
be heard for miles.
ssya a son of Erin once accosted reverend
disciple Of Swedenborg thus: "Mr. -, you
say that we are to follow the same business in
Heaven that we do in this world?' ayes,
that is in perfect accordance with reason for
the creator himsefis is not idle, and why should
his creatures be ?" "Well, thin, yer honor,
do paple die there ?" "Certainly not they
are as immortal as the Creator himself"
chin should like to know, yer honor, what
they'll find for me to do, for I'm grave-dig-
ger in this world"
szg~ "What makes your hairso white, grand
pa ?" inquired little maiden. 81 am very
old, my dear was in the ark" says grand
pa with laug gh. "Oh y' the child rejoined,
'.are YOU Noah ?" "No, 1 am not Noah"
care you Shem, then ?" "No, I am not
Shem." care you Ham?" "No, not even
Ham," "Then you must be Japhet," impa-
tiently said the child. "No, I'm not Japhct."
"Ihen grandpa, you're beast"
Ezs- A Minneapolis painter received an Or
der from restaurateur to paint a sign with
the word "oysters" in various languages, so
that man of any nationality might under
stand that was the place to get bivalves.
And that painter went to work and made the
sign read "American, Dutch, Norwegian and
French oysters ANY one ought to be able
to suit himself from such an assortment.
sa5" A New Hampshire judge recently en-
cused juror who claimed to be deaf, though
it was evident that he was not. The judge
said to the clerk: eff he is deaf we don't
want him; if he is a liar we don't want him" ="
The Manchester gentleman heard that, and
blushingly retired
aay- Mr.. Bugsby has got nice place on the
Sugar Hollow road, some three miles from
Danbury, but the family don't like it, because
it prevents them from getting to church.
They were in to visit the circus to-day, and
told US about it.-Danbury Neacs.
Beg "You have played the deuce with my
heart" said gentleman to lady who was
his partner in social game of whist at an
evening party. "Well," replied the lady.
,,;.L -, r,h ep,;1a eft was hncause Won played