American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-10-04
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
WORD TO THE WTSE-Kcep so.

| A DULL SEAsoN-Boarding- pep,
| per.
A STRING BAND-The Vigilance Com
| mittee.
CAN bullet be said to resemble sheep
when it graZes?
VINO is the oldest lunatic on record !?
| Time out of mind.
THE largest room in the world is the
room for improvement.
ERROR will slip thru crack, while
| truth will git stuck in doorway.
CANADA runs trains over wooden rail
| ways at the rate Of thirty-five miles an
hour.
If your unCle's sister is not your aunt
what relation is she to you? She's your
| mother.
GOOD taste is the modesty of the mind ;
| that Is why it cannot be either initiated or
| acquired.
How Is it that summer always passes
| so quickly? because there is often an
| evening mist.
\ PRUDENT clergyman, unwilling to
| accuse a citizen of lying, said he used the
truth with penurious trugality.
A JAMAICA negro defines heaven as a
place where one can lie in bed and have
| his jug of rum brought to him by slave.
WHEN woman gets letter she carries
| it in her hand; but couple of pounds of
| sausages she manages to squeeze into her
| pocket.
"WEII. Robert, how much did your pig
| weigh?'' 1T didn't weigh so much as |
| expected, and l always thought it
wouldn't"
| \ sEA-TURTLE between four and five feet
| long, and weighing 400 pounds, was
caught recently in Wye River, near
Bruff's Island, Connecticut.
AT various places on the Thames River,
England, there are visible, at low water,
the remains Of Il submerged forest, over
which the river now flows.
MANY public men consider themselves
the pillars of the State who are more
properly the caterpillars, reaching their
high positions only by crawling.
a PUPIL in one of the public schools re-
| Gently revised an old saying found in his
grammar, as follows: at is better to give
than TO receive-a good licking"
OF a misery man who died of soften
ing of the brain, "a local paper said:
His head gave way, but his hand never
did. His brain softened, but his heart
couldn't"
THE woman who said the latest thing
out was her husband, was answered by
her neighbor, who remarked that her hus-
band always came home early-before
any one was up.
A FooTMAN from Connemara got a stu
alton in Dublin. On entering a room
where there was vase with golden fish,
exclaimed, ''Well, this is the first time l
ever saw red herring alive"
A Missouri clergyman was lately
called upon to marry fourteen couples in
one day, and his fees amounted to fifty
pounds of dried apples and a due-bill for
eighteen bushels OF buckwheat.
A YEw TREE in Derbyshire church
yard is thought to be one of the most an
cient in England. 1t is calculated to be
1900 years old. 1t is not very high, but
its trunk is thirty three feet i'll circumter-
ence.
LAKE TAHOE, Nevada, has a curiosity.
Half a mile from shore a tree stands per
pendicular in eighty feet of water 1t pro-
jects above the surface, and is fastened so
firmly to the bottom that it affords safe
moorage to the largest craft on the lake
KNITTING are made in the
United States only at Lawrenccville, Pa,
where about 500 varieties are produced;
and New Haven, Conn, is the only place
in the country where common sewing
needles are made entirely by machinery.
A TOWN in Massachusetts is the proud
possessor of Il cat that picks up pins and
puts them into a paper, whenever she
finds one. After getting hundred, she
exchanges them for meat at the butchers.
The likelihood of this tale is Its chief
beauty. One can't help believing it.
\ GOOD lady, who on the death of her
first husband married his brother, has
portrait of the former hanging in her din
ing room. One day visitor, remarking
the painting, asked, 1t that Il member of
your family" 'Oh. that's my poor
brother n-law," was the ingenious re-
ply.
THE other day an Irishman with a very
heavy trunk got into an omnibus and sat
himself down and held the box on his
knees. The conductor wanted to take 1t
from him. But" says Paddy, sure the
poor creatures of horses have enough to
do to drag along without that, and I'll
carry it mcself."
PINE leaves are utilized in Europe as a
substitute for hair in upholstery, and will
make kind of flannel very superior for
hygeinic purposes. An ETHEREAL oil, use
full as solvent and a curative, is also
made from them, while from the refuse a
valuable Illuminating gas is made.
"HUMPH.'' said an Englishman to Il
Scotchman, as they were walking over
the field, "oats are all very well in their
way, but in England we feed them to our
horses While here they are food for men"
LAY, ay." said the ScOtchman, land just
see what 0nt horses tneTc are III -HSlstilti,
and what fine men we have in Scotland"
DURING an earthquake the inhabitants
of a village were much alarmed, but were
at the same time astonished at the calm
ness and apparent joy of an old lady
whom all knew. Some one asked her If
she was not afraid. NO" said she, 81
rejoice to know that | have Il God that
can shake the world"
'INDIA, my boy" said an Irish officer
to a friend on his arrival at Calcutta, 'is
the finest climate under the sun; but Il
lot of -Oung fellows come out here, and
they drink and they ca, and they drink
and they die, and after that they write
home TO their parents pack of lies, and
say that it is the climate that has killed
them.'
The number of stars visible to the
naked eye in the entire circuit of the
heavens has been usually estimated at
| about 5000 An ordinary opera glass will
exhibit something like ten times that
number. 4 comparatively small telescope
easily shows 100000, while there are tel
! Escapes in existence with which, there is
| reason to believe not fewer than p, 600, 900
stars are visible. And yet, when all of
these are seen and numbered, the eye Will
have visited but n mere spcck IN the IL
limitablc bounds of space.
THE new discoveries inlEgypt will add
plausibIv to Wendell Phillips lecture on
the Lost Arts" 1t now appears that the
smelling of iron was carried on in Egypt
from the very earliest period Mr.. Charles
Vincent in an English scientific JOuFnat,
sets forth some new facts in reference 10
this subject: "In the sepulchrcs of