Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-07-11

HAVING a photograph taken is one of
the great events in mans life. The
chief desire is to look the very best, and
on the success of the picture hinges in many
cases the most important epoch in life.
To work up proper appearance time
enough is used which, if devoted to catch
ing fleas for their phosphorus, would can
eel the entire national debt and establish
New York daily paper. When you have
completed your toilet you 60 to the gallery
and force yourself into nonchalance of
expression that is too absurd for anything.
Then you take the chair, spread your legs
gracefully, appropriate calm and indif-
ferent look, and commence to perspire.
An attenuated man with pale face, long
hair and a soiled nose now comes out of
cavern, and adjusts the camera. Then
he gets back of you and tells you to sit
back as far as you can in the chair, and
that it has been remarkably backward
spring. After getting you back till your
spine interferes with the chair itself, he
shoves your head into pair of ice-tongs,
and dashes at the camera again. Here,
with piece of discolored velvet over his
head he bombards you in this manner:
"Your chin out little, please" The chin
is protruded. THAT'S nicely; now little
more" The chin advances again, and the
pomade commences to melt, end start for
freedom. Then he comes back to you and
slaps one of your hands on your leg in
such position as to give you the appear
ance of trying to lift it over your head.
The other is turned under itself, and has
become so sweaty that you begin to fear
that it will stick there permanently. A
new stream of pomade finds it's way
out, and starts downward. Then he
shakes your head in the tongs till it set
ties right, and says it looks like rain, and
puts your chin out again, and punches
out your chest, and says he doesn't know
what the poor are to do next winter un-
less there is a radical change in affairs,
and then takes the top Of your head in one
hand and your chin in the other, and
gives your neck wrench that would earn
any other man prominent position in a
new hospital Then he runs his hand
through your hair and scratches your
scalp, and steps back to the camera and
the injured velvet for another look. BY
this time new sweat and pomade have
started out. The whites of your eyes
show unpleasantly, and your whole body
feels as if it had been visited by an enor-
nous cramp, and another and much big
ger one was momentarily expected. Then
he points at something for you to look at;
tells you to look cheerful and composed,
and snatches away the velvet, and pulls
out his watch When he gets tired, and
you feel as if there was but very little left
in this world to live for, he restores the
velvet, says it is an unfavorable day for a
picture, but he hopes for the best, and i'm
mediately disappears in his den Then
you get up and stretch yourself, slap on
your hat, and immediately sneak home,
feeling mean, huElbled, and altogether
| too wretched for description. The first
friend who sees the picture says he can
see enough resemblance to make certain
that it is you, but you have tried to look
too formal to be natural and graceful
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