, 1873-11-16

HUMoR.
Wicked wsste-burning candle at both
,.1MA tou1;yoay-ol boy reeently complained that
; An English publisher who advertised "Joa-
quin hillo1 half calf, y ia threatened with libel
: Mrs. Partinston says she ge.s up every
morning at tho shrin carrion OF tho chandelier.
how ho accounted for an extraordinary mortality
In Limerick, replied sadly, II cannot tell There
sceanr are neo5plo dying this yosr that never died
-Aman, in Duluth Ii 50 moan. that ho quar-
rels with bis vito about tic politlas Of The paper
aho expands her buatle with.
a Western paper, describing M accldeus,
says: "Dr. Crawford was called, aud, under
his prompt and skillful treatment, the young
man dioa on "Wednesday night"
.-''My wife," said critic, :" is tho most even
tempered poraon IN tho Worla-shs'a always
"A happy misquotation by young lady,
whose gentloman-c n-caller staid too late, caused q
speedy gooa,by. The clock struck II, aud aho
remarked SNOW is the. witohing hour Of night
= AN inqulsitiveb boy scaled garden fence In
'Joralomon street Inst evening, to explore =
fbsnster Disaster Is the so.u nams me- Of s?ta u
: "A young lady, in couversing with = gontlo.
man, spoke Of having resided III st. Louis.
Was st. Louis your native placo2" asked the
spondsd tic lady, Ezesaaas s 8 Born m On MI iight it.
ming express posaibly.7-:LoAisu'lte ooi'ier-Jour-
Il girl Of the period thus comments on Nor
monis1n: How absnlll Fonr or nye wives to
gre man, when tho fact il. each woman in those
efueB ought to have four Or i've husbands. IT
would take about that number to euppoft ono
doeontly '..f@s' u "-.&."t' H>~. ."
againat the devil Aftor telling the little follow
who the devil was, and how hard ho WIS to huo-
ceRsfulIy reaist. ha turned around and 'apid !:
:. MAmms,. "a, be scared ot the old deyil, butlf
I was to como ocrosB ono Of hia little dovils I'd
knook tho stnnlng out Of him." =. :.
-Wheneyer wo Aear map making diapar-
aging inBinuatlon In regard to ha mothof-irl-
law, We always feel like saying to him, = sir,you
never Ie would haye hcon apyvhoTe Il your father
Bazar. .:...x 49,, s s.ssa:z.:. ~: :: e.. H.
u "A smart little boy in Now Orleans was re-
proved by bis mother for telling nb. ,Ho tubiut-
90 it vas only in fun, but Ills ptoua mother told
boy knoll down M and said to, Lord. forsiyo civ sS me-:
! w9alapt h.ye done It, only I thought YOU
: -" Little Iommy didn't disobey mainma and
so in swimming, did ho 2" "No, mamma; Jim
+ remembered. and would not oisobey you"
And Tommy never tolls lies, docs he 2" ''tNo,
3, mamma, couldn't 60 to henycn,' "Then how
aoSa et;rt riSemny y h'ppoa to have on Jimmy Browns
"A wife OF nearly ten yoars, giving her ser-
want holiday, was attending to culinary mat
tors herself, and, hoaring hor husband coming
into tue Kitchen, thought she would surprise him
as aoon a. be oPaned tho aoar R5 shtowing her
brpw, as in the Honeymoon. The husband ra.'
turaol tho salute with intotast. 81 !" Mary, 9ar-
Ling, wharo Is your mistress p, !: The mifo lla-
charged Mary, darling,"1 tho noxt lay, mud bus
ba0 sa01t'a po" plan o. aurpsls!ne W hesaus:
-" non pleasant It is In this Mlokod old
world," aaya tho Peoria 1aeuieto, to moet d
man in tho busy walks Of llfa, whoao faoe ID IN
open bo9E; ;,, ooerinE, tho imprint Of honesty,
wlloscc whole den,eanor iaspirea yoa With =
yoarning plstopio affection for him that only
needs cultivation 10 lnupire tho posspssor to
knoW moro Of hln, and borrow money from him,
ns 1t Were.. Ah, yes ,",-.;~7.+.. r
-.A,day bofuTe the execution, tho Chaplain ut
Eort F. kem &tA wss endoayoring to convert Capt.
yaok, and among other things told him glowing
storIua OF Heavon. His romarkB eooinod to
hayo an effect Oh tho Captain, who asked him il
ne e. know !' sn about the happy land; The Chap
anow ns thoist Ill., ma d% hn saa 5ek
Aorsna you take my place Tomorrow" w..
+, Two negro women INST upon tho atreot the
other dny,. whom tho following conversation took
p!aco' Firat Tonaen-"1u 1u you gwino to sol up
wid tho corpse to-nlyht ?" Second woman-H No,
my husband WON'T lot me-" First woman
" l'1hawI nevor seed suoh husban' a. you Ia
got. lio mover wants to lot you SEQ any plo.sr
arre 1poodJora County (Ky.) 1Veetly. ~,
-..Mra Perklne on Friond street, 'who orlias inst
finished naw houae, has peen 40 innch anpoyea
reeontly BY. lightaiug-roa mon and ipap1afoes
agents thnt. as aprotection, ahe nut out i sign
stating that four Of tho family woIo III with The
eolsod. 4 blind hogEar Waa geen to pausb In
'front.' p{ the house for m instant, tho other day.
to read tho align, and thon 10 quloky sought ID
adjoining street, Columbus Sunday Neio5, :
.-,-Thc pancake aoaaop Aas not rot around to
Iloamoud, I,d, 4 hiral sill omployodin family
thoro, walla baking cakea tho other morning,
stopped backward to y clair III which reposod
the batter, and deliberately aat down in the pan.
A slo subsequently rofusod to ait down o1i tho
stove. tho hreakfaat WAS tinlshod with bread.
DonQp,1 Na'es, e., - 10 =