Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-05-22
Humorous.

never spin.
WHY do bees like to come out on a
bright summer day? Because it's honey
Sunny weather.
WHAT is that which is full of knots,
which no one can unite, and in which
no one can tie another? A cord of
wood.
A GERMAN friend, whose wife takes in
washing for their subsistence, claims
that he earns his living by the sweat of
his WOW.
ENGLAND is celebrated for its fogs,
France for its frogs, ireland for its bogs,
Canada for it's dogs, Maine for its logs,
and Ohio for its hogs.
"PRETTY bad under foot to-day" said
one citizen to another, as they met in
the street. eyes, but it's fine over
head" responded the other. "True
enough" said the first, "but then very
few are going that way"
A WOMAN out West interfered with her
brothers courtship, and begged him to
stay at home evenings. He waited until
the evening when she expected her own
lover and complied, and she says that
fraternal affection is a heartless mockery.
A YOUNG LADY wishing for a situation,
was recently interested in an advertise
ment for some one to do eight house
keeping So she wrote to the adver-
tiser asking where the lighthouse was,
and if there was any getting ashore on
Sundays.
An author says that he has known
ladies in whom the instinct of decoration
was so strong that if they we're told
they must be hanged in the presence of
20, 700 persons tomorrow, their first
thought would be, "Have [ a proper
hanging dress?"
"WHY are we led to infer that David
and Joshua were Incorporate men? Be
cause David, when he went out to meet
Goliah on the field of honor, "took a
sling" and Joshua, previous to his at
tack on the walls of Jericho, "took a
horn," and gave a regular blow.
THIS is the way that a delighted Mich
igan ~"local" puts it: brighter days
are coming; Just think of it. Blue
birds, dandelions, caravans, scissors
grinders, artichokes, violets and hand
| O1Sdu WILL Dull bI1S, OI41C, ShOM3
sharpen, scent and shrek that spring
has come"
A GERMAN Psychologist has discovered
that tobacco smoking by boys "inter-
feres with the molecular changes Co
incident with development of tissues,
and makes the blood corpuscles oval and
irregular on the edge. Any parent can
thus ascertain if a boy smokes by merely
taking out a handful of his blood cor
puscles and observing their edges
Dan6uy News.
A HOP in your walk is a halt, but a
dance upon nothing is a halter. A deal
of gold may be a plum, but a dealer of
lead is a plumber. You may sometimes
put sauce into a cup, but you should
always put a cup into a saucer. You're
a fool if you're a walker in a pond /;
you're a philosopher if you ponder in
your walk. A cough makes you wheezy
in the chest, but of the chest you can
easily make a Golfer. A steel is what
makes a blade sharp, but a blade that
makes a sharper is a stealer.
THE NOSE.
It's very odd that poets should suppose
There is no poetry about a nose,
When plain as is the nose upon your face,
noseless face would lack poetic grace.
Noses have sympathy a lover knows
Noses are always touched when lips are kissing,
And who would care to kiss where nose was miss
ing?
Why, what would be the fragrance of a rose,
And where would be our mortal means of telling
Whether a vile or wholesome odor flows
| Around us, if we owned no sense of smelling?
, L know a nose, a nose no other knows,
Meath starry eyes, DER ruby lips it grows;
Beauty is in its form, and music in its blows.