The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1873-08-07
sheridan a Christian.

As a soldier must ordinarily be tried by
soldiers, and civilians by civilians, it would
seem eminently proper that Howard, the
defaulter and "Christian general" should
be tried by christian generals" 1t
might be somewhat difficult to secure a
court composed wholly of brigadier gen
erals and major generals who are Christians
but still the thing might be effected. OF
course, Sheridan, or Gustav, or Schofeld, or
Pope or Davis, or Sherman, could not sit
on any such court, for ALL or nearly all, of
them drink whisky, chew tobacco, and in
dulge in profanity. The thing would have
to be effected by strategy. During the war,
an Ohio colonel, who would not be headed
off by rival, ordered thirteen privates to
be detailed for baptism. In the same way,
in order to secure a court to try the Chris
tan Howard, Sherman would have to issue
an order detailing half dozen generals for
conversion.
In doing this, it would bewell enough to
select the men who need religion the most.
All of them need it; but there is not
enough in the orthodox churches, or even in
the gospel, to supply all of them, so that,
as a matter of necessity, but a few-just
enough to try and convict the Christian
Howard could be selected. Whom to Sc
lect would present another difficulty; but
perhaps the better plan would be to take
those who most need it. At the very head
of those whom Sherman should detail for
conversion is Little Phil, as the heuten-
ant general is sometimes designated. There
is no man in this service, or any other, that
needs religion more than he does. He
should not only be detailed for conversion,
but he should have the most of it, so that
he could be the ranking officer.
Pope should be another detailed, by all
means. Were he good praying Christian,
he would be more conscientious about his
figures, and then We should get the truth
about the number of prisoners he captured
at Corinth. Schofeld should not be for
gotten, for we're he placed so that he would
sing psalms and hallelujahs through his
nose, he would, at once, repent him of the
iniquity done by him in his satrspey, and
would make restitution to his victims.
Custar ought to be converted on accetint of
his long hair, and his presumed--to him
sclf-good looks. If he could talk rs we'll
as he can write, he would make an A l adj
dition to prayer-meeting, and in a class
meeting would cover himself all over with
glory
As fast rs the conversions arc effected, the
converts should he assigned to duty in some
denomination. Pope, who is so parsimO-
Nous Of the truth, would find himself most
at home with the Hard-shell Baptists.
Sheridan should be brevetcd a Universalist,
FOR the reason that there he would find no
hell believed in, which, after his Shenan
doah raid, his New Orleans experience, and
HIS picgan exploits, he would find rather
consolatofy. Schoield should be ordered
into the Old School Presbyterian camp, not
rs a benefit to him, but As a sort of pun
ishmcnt to the o. 5. p. for being stiff -neczed
and unpr0gressivc.
BY some such method could there be Sc
cured a court Of Christian generals TO tn
tbs Christian Howard for -peculation, o.
speculation. or whatever may be the proper
name for ..ccttinQ away with two or thrcl