The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-06-21
WIT AND WISDOM
'IS press Apples.

''IS press Apples.
An exchange announces, on the death of
a lady, that she ''lived fifty years with her
husband, and died in confident hope Of a
better life "
A LEAvENwORTH editor sat down ia q
reserved seat already occupied by h0r-
net. He stands up when scissoring edito-
rials now.
Mas. O'LEARY wonders " II them Boz
ting spalpeens will be after schwearinR that
it was her Door baste Of a COW that burned
their city
''Ir's forty years, my old friend John,
since we were boys together" "Is Il
Well, don't speak 50 loud, there's that
young widow in the next room"
''TALk about tha laws ~ death, eG-
claimed a man who was living with his
third scolding wife; II tell YOU they're no
touch 70 the jaws Of life.
II HOPE you will be able 10 support me- 7"
said a young lady while out one evening
with her intended, during a slippery state
Of the sidewalks why, yes" said the
swain, somewhat hesitating, with little
assistance from your father There was
some confusion and profound silence
A YoUNG lady who is studying French,
lately wrote to her parents that she Was
invited out to a dejuner the day before,
and was going to fete champetre the next
day The professor uf the college was sur
prised To receive dispatch from the 'Old
man a day OF two after, saying, If you
can't keep my daughter away from these
blasted menagerles and side shows | will
come down and see what ails her
EVERY dog has his day; the following
beautiful lines we're written before Jacks
day was over
Fm Captain Jack Il the Lava beds,
n y eogk ..,, -. ths val. and chief y ne hsi'.
Of the whole 4 nitsd States Army
~ love you like anything, said
young gardner 10 his sweetheart, as he
gently pressed her hand.
Ditto, said she, returning the press
ure
was sorely puzzled To know the meaning Of
ditto"
why, said the OId man, this srs's
one cabbagehead, amt itr'
Yes, Father"
Well, that 'eres ditto"
Drat it, elaculated the indignant sou,
Y then she called me cabbagehead
How They Dip IT.-ln New York State
to take more than seven per cent. u usury.
When money Is worth more than one per
cent. a day, Or whereabouts, they get over
the usurY clause in tins fashion
MIR. Brown Say, Jones, III bet you $50
you won't lend me $40, 900 for two days At
! per cent per annum.
Mr. Jones (stroking his mOustache and
muslng) - II take that bet Ill lend you
the Sl0,OU
Mr. Brown Lost again by Jove, Here
Is the $40
The SHORTEST Man Some clerks we're
waiting in the Treasury Department for
the opening NJ business One said To the
company
Who is the shortest man mentioned ii
the Bible
The old Joe MIilers we're al exhausted.
Nehemiah (knee-high -miah), Bil1Aj, tho
Shuhite (shoe-height).
To All answers the clerk replied, NU
We give it up was the response
Peter, was the reply
Peter they all cried He was a stout,
large, athletic man
Can't help III He was the shortest man
| ever read of IN the Bible He said no
had neither silver nor gold, and q man u
pretty short when he has mt any money
OUR devil says he abhors those big word.
that great men hunt over the dictionaries
to find He prefers short ones, that are
easy To pronounce. Here il A sample Uf
his latest production.
HippOrhlnophlegmito mitoblennocastAlagmus
Hope he won't give any Of his long
words
VINO made you, was asked Of small
girl. She replied God made me that
length, indicating with her hands the
length Of new born babe, and / grew
the rest myself