Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-10-30
UNITED AT LAST.

Simmer really deserves pity, for it certain
ly was uncommonly rough on him. He was
going up to Reading the other day, and when
he reached the depot he happened to look
into the ladies room. A woman sat there
with lot of baggage and three children, and
when she saw Simmer she rushed at him,
and before he could defend himself she flung
her arms about his neck, nestled her head
upon his breast, and burst into tears. Slim
mer was amazed, indignant, confounded; and
before he could find utterance for his feelings,
she exclaimed
90, Henry, dear Henry We are united
at last. Are you we'll? Is Aunt Martha
still alive? Haven't you longed to see your
own Louisa?
And she looked into SINNERS face and
clung to him, and smiled through her tears.
"Madam," said he, solemnly, "if am the
person alluded to as Henry, permit me to say
that you have made mistake. My name is
Lemucl, l have no Aunt Martha, and I don t
own solitary Louisa. Oblige me by letting
60 my coat 1t excites remark"
Then she buried her bonnet deeper into his
waiscoat, and began to cry harder than ever,
and said
20, Henry how, how can you treat me so ?
How can you pretend you are lot my hus.
band?"
Madam" screamed Simmer, eff you don't
cease sopping my shir. bosom, and remove
your umbrella from my corn, shall be obliged
to call for the police Let me go say"
"rhe children are here" she persisted.
"They recognize their dear father. Don't
you children? %
"Yes, yes they exclaimed, "t's pa, our dear
pa"
And then they grappled Simmer by the
trowsers and hung to his coat TAIL
"Woman!" he shrieked, "this is getting Sc
rious. Unhand me, say"
And he tried to disengage himself from
her embrace all the brakemen, and
the baggage master, and newsboys stood
around, and said his conduct was infamous.
In the midst of the struggle stranger enter.
cd with carpet.bag He looked exactly
like Simmer when he saw his wife in
SINNERS arms he became excited, and floor
ed Simmer with carpet-bag and sat on him,
and smote his nose, and asked him what he
meant Simmer was removed on stretcher,
and the enemy went off with his wife and fam
lily in cab. He called next day to apologize:
His wife had made sad mistake because of
SINNERS likeness to him. And now Simmer
wishes he soon may be kicked in the face by
mule, 50 that he will resemble no other hu.
man being on earth.
FOLLOWING THE FASHIONS. Maria,
said lady to colored chambermaid, "that
is the third silk dress you have worn since
you came to my house; pray how many do
you own -
"Only seven, Miss but Is savin' my wages
to buy another"
Seven! What use are seven silk dresses
to you? Why, don't own so many as that u
"'Specs not, Miss" said the smiling dar.
key; "you doesn't need 'em so much as |
does. You quality white folks everybody
knows is quality but we bettermost kind
Of colored pussons has to dress smart to
distinguish ourselves from common niggers."
So, critics, who denounce the present ex.
travagant style of dress, be lenient, and
when the paraphernalia of hoops and foun.
ces, silk velvets and laces are very astoun.
ding, think-well, poor things, they must do
something to distinguish themselves from com,
mon folks.
COULDN'T STAND THE PEorLE.-A fellow
once emigrated from Virginia to certain
county in Tennessee, but in less than a year
moved back to his old home On being ask
ed why he returned he replied that he couldn't
stand the people-that they were the meanes
people he ever saw. He would not live
among any people who spelled the word God
the name of the Almighty, with little 6
and the word cabbage with capital *.