davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
Eelerten Misrellauy.
Scollopped Hair.

The very last agony in Saratoga is
"Scollopped hair" All the '.swell
young ladies-.
"Now what is scollopped hair ?"
asked young lady who had an attack
of it.
"Why, this is it; we don't puff OF
frizzle our hair any more in front, but
we stick it down in scollopps over oul
forehead six scollopps ON each side.'
"How do you mean stick it down p
"Why the hair dresser sticks it down
with gum arabic and ounce seed.-
Sometimes he uses Transparent glycer,
inc soap. This is the best thing tc
use. The fashion has started with q
furore just like the Dolly Vardens
Redingotes and the Grecian Bend, and
it is bound to CO."
On looking around the hop-room to,
night, [ found ten of the most fash.
ionably dressed women in Saratoga had
their hair scollopped bad. Every
young lady who affects the new grass
hopper-back bend had severe attack
The scollopps are about an inch apar
ID succession of cow-licks, one run
ming into the other.
The sticking down process was evi
IDENTIFY stolen from the Modoc Indians
while the undulating, rolling, hare
line forehead must have been take1
from some antique Pompeian vase
Eli Perkins,
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

A new bull has been perpetrated in
the House Commons, but it was not
the work of an Irishman. It was the
Jewish lawyer, SERGEANT Simon, who
got up to speak on the judicature bill,
and in the most serious manner an
nounced that she could not keepsilence
without saying few words"
When man reforms from drink and
begins to take care of himself, he gem
orally remarks that he is going to build
up his constitution anew. Was it with,
a view to this that, for years, he kept.
accumulating bricks in his hat?
A wag out west who read that dry
copperas put in bed of ants would
cause them to leave, put some in his
mother-in-law's bed to see if she
wouldn't go. He says she was there
at last accounts.
All sorts of notes from watering
places are current, but the only notes.
that. are taken at the watering places
are greenbacks:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
REMEDY FOR BLEEDING AT TE

REMEDY FOR BLEEDING AT THE
NosE.-A correspondent of the Scien-
tifc american says:
''The best remedy for bleeding at
the nose. as given by DIR. Gleason in
one of his lectures, is a vigorous mo-
tion of the jaws as if in the act of mas
tication. In the case of a child wad
of paper should be placed in it's mouth
and the child instructed to chew it
hard. Of course an adult does not
need the paper. 1t is the motion Of
the jaws that stops the flow of blood.
This remedy is so very simple that
many will feel inclined to laugh at it,
but it has never been known to fail in
a single instance, even in very severe
cases."
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
The Hands.

Young people may still find a good
deal of amusement in the examination
of the hand for signs of character. It
is absurd to judge any one by these
signs, but the process is pleasing
Some of the rules are as follows:
Ifthe palms of the hand be long, and
the fingers we'll proportioned, not soft,
but rather hard, it denotes the person
to be ingenious, changeable and given
to theft and vice.
If the hands be hollow, solid, and
well-knit in the joints, it predicts long
life; but if ever thwarted, then it de-
notes short life.
ObserYet the efngers of Mercury-that
is the little finger: if the end of it ex-
ceeds the joint Of the third finger, such
a man will rule in his house, and his
wife will be pleasing to him; but if it
lis short, and does not reach the joint, he
will have ashrew, and she will be boss.
Broad nails show the person to be
bashful and fearful but of : gentle nar
.sEIlTe
Marrow nails shoV sserson to be IN
clined to mischief and to do injury to
his neighbors.
Long nails show a person to be good
natured, but distrustful, and loving re-
Cancellation rather than differences.
Oblique nails signify deceitand want
Of courage.
Little round nails denote obstinaey,
anger and hatred.
If they are crooked at the extremity,
they show pride and ferceness.
Round nails show a choleric person,
yet soon reconciled; honesty, lover of
secret silence.
Fleshy nails denote the person to be
mild in temper, idle and lazy.
Pale and black nails show the per-
son to be very deceitful to his neigh
Dor, and subject to many diseases.
Red and marked nails signify chol-
eric and martial nature, and as many
little marks as there are speak so many
evil desires.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
The Priest and his Dinner.

An Irish priest was standing at the
corner of a square about the hour of
dinner, when one of his countrymen,
observing the worthy father in per-
plexity, thus addressed him:
"Oh, Father 0Leary, how is your
riverenceT"
"Mighty put out, Pat" was the reply.
"Put out! Who would put out your
riverencew
"Ah, you don't understand; that is
just it. / am invited to dine at one Of
the houses in this square, and | have
forgotten the name, and never looked
at the number, and now it is nearly
one o'clock"
"Oh, is that ALP" was the reply
"Just now be aisy, your reverence; I'll
settle that for you"
So saying, away flew the good-natur-
ed Irishman around the square, glanc-
ing at the kitchens, and when he dis
covered fire that denoted hospitality,
he thundered at the door and inquired:
els Father O'Leary here~
AS might be expected, again and a
gain he was repulsed. At length an
angry footman exclaimed:
"No, bother on Father O'Leary; he
is not here, but he was to dine here to-
day, and the cook is in rage, and says
the dinner will be spoiled. All is wait
ing for Father O'Leary."
Paddy, leaping from the door as if
the steps were on fire, rushed up to the
astonished priest, saying:
':All is right, your riverence; you
dine at forty-three, and mighty good
dinner you'll get"
'Oh, Pat" said the grateful pastor,
''the blessings ola hungry man be upon
you."
"Long life and happiness to your
reverence; have got your malady; /
only wish I had your cure"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

I have not told how the accident
happened. The master machinist, him.
self in love with Dora, had cut several
strands of the cords bytWhich the cal
was secured. He openly avowed his
crime, and only regretted that Dora
had not been killed. ssShe rejected
me with scorn,'' he said on his trial
II was resolved she should never give
her hand to another" He was mani
festly maniac. I can never forgive
myself for not watching him more
closely after that encounter under the
stage.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

B1'Iamev sighed Mrs. Parting
ton. "Here [ have been suferin' the
bigamies of death for three mortal
weeks. First | was seized with a bleed
in phrenology in the hampshire of the
brain, which was exceeded by the stop
page of the left ventilator of the heart.
This gave me inflammation of the left
borax and now | am sick with chloro-
form morbus. There is no blessin'
like that of health, particularly when
you're ILL.,"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
190etru
IN SEPTEMBER.

Feathery clouds are few and fair,
Thistledown is on the air;
Rippling sunshine on the lake,
Wild grapes scent the sunny brake;
Dizzy songs the crickets sing,
Wild bees wander murmuring;
Butterflies float in a dream,
Over all the swallows CLEAN;
Here and yonder, high and low,
Golden-rod and sun-fowers glow;
Here and there a maple fushes,
Sumach reddens, woodbine bushes;
Purple astors bloom and thrive,
am glad to be alive.
-Aldine for September
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
THE LIGHTNING-RoD MAN.

He came to me one summer day,
l thought him rather odd,
His talk it seemed to stretch q mile,
Yet twas about rod.
He had a very pretty tongue,
1t ran by lightning too,
And there was thunder in his tones
Which struck me as quite true.
He wished to put them on my house
To save me from the shock
Of lightning, and to keep away
The thieves who d pick my lock.
He said they keep the small pox off
And purify the air,
And said 'twould be splendid thing
To have one here and there.
At last said, eGo put them up"
Convinced that he was right,
And then to town | rode to pass
The next day and the night.
When | returned found my house
Covered with iron bands,
My roof it had as many spires,
Indeed, as old Milan.
Upon the ridge pole of the roof
He had put half score;
On every corner there were ssTo.
And to c. - au IN
They looked like grape vineyfound the house
So thick they were entwined, -
They ran across the window, and
Quite answered for blind.
l took that wondrous man aside
Said l, "My earnest friend,
You've got my house all covered o'er
With rods without an end;
think you've got them rather thick,
The house is far too small,
I'd better build it larger, so
That it will hold them all.
"There won't be any lightning left
The country to supply;
Must half the rods upon that house
Point idly to the sky2
These rods will gather every bolt
There is in Christendom-
Now don't you think I'll be obliged
To advertise for someP'
He leaned against the garden fence
Quite rapt in studious thought;
''To tell the honest TRUTH" said he,
''It SCENE to me you ought,
Just then happened to look round,
And what should meet my view,
But two rods on the chicken coop,
And on the pig pen two
| also saw that he had gone
And put one on the pumpl
And one on every gateway post,
And one on every stump!
And then as he had put his rods
On everything in reach,
He'd stuck poles all about the yard,
And put rod on each.
l killed the fellow then and there
AS l would kill a flea;
The verdict of the jury was,
"Murder in no degree"
buried him, and lightning rods
Put at his feet and head,
And lightning strikes his grave each day
And makes him still more dead.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
hSga"Practice makes perfect." and

@P"Practice makes perfect" and
"patience begets success" Exactly,
say our young physicians, and they are
perfectly willing to practice all the
people will let them, and have all the
patients that come to them. Mean
while, however, they are clearly of the
opinion that the proverb should be
reversed, because the perfect make the
practice and success begets patients.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

@~I pray you very solemnly, says
Ruskin, to put that idea of knowing all
things in heaven and earth out of your
heads. 1t is very little that we can
ever know, either of the ways of Prov
idence or of the laws of existence. But
that little is enough.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

pg~As the quickest way of making
a fortune a contemporary suggests
marrying a fashionable young lady and
selling her clothing.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

BwIt was an Irishman who wanted
to find a place where there was no
death, that he might 60 and end his
days there.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05
The Untutored Savage as Dressmaker.

The dusky maidens of the forest are
heavy on calico, and whenever one of
them ''cleans up" on a protracted
washing job, or makes winning at
Indian poker, she rushes directly to d
dry goods store and makes an invest
ment in calico of glaring colors. She
is always accompanied by band OF
red sisters, and as soon as the purchase
lis completed, the whole band squat
down on the sidewalk, and the fortu-
nate squaw proceeds to the manufac-
ture Of the GARNER 7. -. ,.1-sss,..
s.:ii = u y. i1e
|dcI6lJ, and it is study to watch q
group sitting On the sidewalk during
the operation of making a Dress
They chatter along just the same as
white women in sewing circle, and
probably sling scandal as lively as
lchurch members at tea party. Even
Ia casual observer can detect an express
sion of envy on the faces of those less
fortunate squaws who do not possess
the Wherewith to indulge in new calico:
MEMoRY.-The memory strikes me-
Jas perhaps the most astonishing of aH
the works of God. How such infinite
quantities of reminiscence can lie stor-
Jed up in the brain, ready to start for
ward at the call for them, is beyond
all conception. 1t is utterly inexpli-
cable if one supposes that, in some way,
all the images are piled up there inside,
ones head, in their several pigeon-holes,
all handy for the minds use. It is no
less inexplicable if one takes differ
ent view, and supposes that there are
not these cellars full of bottled images.
but that somehow certain suggestions
excite the brain in just the same way
as it had been excited before, and thus
the old image or thought is created a.
fresh.-Charles Burton.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

na~A celebrated actress, whose fresh
smile and silvery voice favored the de-
scription, always called herself "sweet
sixteen" She stated her age at six
teen in court as witness. Her son
was directly afterwards called up, and
asked how old he was. "Six months
older than MOTHER" was the honest re-
D1V
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-05

HGHA circuit court-The longest
way home from the singing-school:
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
4 Struggle with n Devil fi.h-A Diyer
Nearly crushed.

Mr.. Charles Z. Brainerd, Of Boston, in
writing TO the Scientific imericdq aboui spe-
citoens OF the devil i-b, relates this interest
ing incident:
The strength which these creatures possess
i. almost beyond comprehension, "a il evinced
By what took place when my pet J vas cap
,nred. He had seizet hold of a submarine
diver, al work in the wreck OF sunken
steamer of the COAT Of Florida. The man
was a powerful Irishman, who claimed 10
weigh 300 pounds. Hi size snd bult fully
verified his statement, and to use his own
language, .'the Basic lsnied on top of nv
shoulders and pinned my arms tight | felt
nv armor aud myself being cracked into a
Jelly" 1t seems that he was jna, about
being brought to the surface, else the mon
s;e- would have killed him, Tor he Was suf-
f,ring 40 from the terrible embrace that he
could move no par: Of himself. When
dragged on to the rail- from which he bad
de-c@nded. and finally released. he bad
tainted. The men on the raft seized til, fish
by one Of iIs wriegirg arms and tried 10
pull il off bu, could not break the power Of
a single one of the suckers. The fIh was
only removed BY being dealt a heavy blow
across the sack containing the stomach. This
sack stood s,itiis up alb Te the eyes. While the
eyes stood out like lobst.rs' eyes ard CLEANED
like hire. the monster ia, all in all, ore OF
the most frightfIl spparition- j, could be the
fac Of man to meet. l; fuiils in every par
ticnlsr the horrible features attributed to it
in Victor Hueo's ''Toilers Of the Sea-" Not
withs,anding the severity with which the
able Frenchmsn has been criticised for 'cre-
ating nonie-crip, with his weird imagina-
ton. the truth must be granted that his
'nonde-cripto has an actual existence, az is
evidenced BY the specimens in Brighten and
Hamburg. n well "a nv own.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
ReySia1Snu and Science.

The papers READ and the discussions fol
lowing upon them in yesterdays proceed
ings of the Evangelical Alliance were in
some respects the most interesting OF the
Conference. They were by some of the
ab!est scholars and profonndest thinkers OF
the Christian Church, and NAV be considered
"a representative Of its best thought and 3
wisest conclusions. IL is possible that objec-
ton NAV b. raised bv the supporters of the
principles snd doctrines antsyoniz-d, 10 =
certain tone of depreciation noticeable in
some of the comments Of the learned divInes
upon what they consider mi.chievcu- here
sizes. but il il to BIZ remembered that the
meeting itself ia conference OF representa-
tives of the same fundamental belief, and
that freer tx preston IL allowed than would
be expected were it a controversy between
opponents. The arguments in the case OF
revelation agains' science are not intended
70 he stated here at length. ''In all things
Charity" il 40 good motto, however, that ii
should no; be s,in'ed in it, operation.
The Evangelical Alliance, and the scien-
lists, ra,ionalis,s, and mayerialists, are all
alike in pursuit Of truth, and alike interest
ed to fad it. 1t il a quest that calls for
tolerance and patience y Tribune.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
Curious card.

The suspension and subsequent resumption
of bu in. IS by David Frsston Il Co., Detroit
have b. en- announced. The card in which
Mr. Preston declared his purpose to resume
il peculiar, but said to be characteristic. He
starts out in this way:
Its good. There's light ahead; there :
help 10 God; there's wealth in Je.is; there :
power in PRAYER. landed in Detroit, Nov.
!, 1SiS. borrowed So TO bring me here.
| got a situation at ST. per month, and in
less than two months | had paid this 81
f5Om nv wages. On the 4:h Of May, 1892,
| married good wife. and in less than one
week thereafter l embarked in business under
the style OF David Preston d Co, bankers
and brokers. My entire capital at that time.
out OF which had to furnish nv home AZ d
start my bank, was less than $500. In Nav,
1854, hzd::amasaed fortune OF nearly 50,
900, and with this increased capital opened
bank In Chicago. In the month Of Angus,
following, Mr.. A. Klemm, our banker at
No 30 Wall street, New York. failed, with
ST 600 OF our money in his procession, which
WA all We were worth, and little more.
We never realized bu, SI5 out of this So, 900,
and vet did no, commit suicide, run away.
compromise, nor reign. | prayed, and
uVr-,1, ana poto, ana nave pten uoihg the
same kind oil bu-in ever since, and ex-
pect to fight it on; on this line to the end OF
my journey.
Sept %, 1873, We closed our doors at IL
O'Clock a. m, not because we had sustained
any los, not because OF any fraud or dark
ness behind the scene, but simply because We
could no, pay in currency or otherwise, on
demand, all that We owed. Previous to this,
the bank. in New York, Baltimore, Chicsgo,
and many other places. had virtually SUI
pended currency payments, only IN such
email sums "a they saw fit to paw out.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
DISIC e BED.

The Kansas City Journal is rot satisfied
with the st. Louis and Leavenworth fairs.
The Journals reporter a, st. Louis prepares
this trash:
Thousands are leaving for their homes.
utterly disguised with the ST. Louis wind
fair i have not met a single person who
will say they have witnessed any thing Of en-
attractive nature during the entire week, ex-
cepting the trot this afternoon"
The heavy editor of the Journal denounces
the Associated Press dispatches from Leav-
enworth as stupendous lies, and gives uDmis-
taxable evidence Of the fact that he ia not
satis6ed with the Leavenworth fair by con-
structing this magnificent falsehood:
"We learn that the so-called Leavenworth
fair was an utter abortion, and all published
accounts fraud upon the public"
The Journal was also dissatisfied with the
dispatches from ST. Joseph during the Expo
sition week in that city, and the Herald says
endeavored to have them excluded from the
report.
Kansas City is now engaged in very small
business. Instead of acknowledging that
Leaven~orh and St. Joseph have surpassed
her in the exposition line. and resolving to
90 to work and get up a good fair for next
year, che finds fault with her neighbors, and
seeks to mislead the public by garbline dis
patches, and suppressing reports from rival
towDs
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16

The act of March 5, 1865, prescribed the
maximum limit of Treasury note, at $780,
600, 600 The same act provided that
"Any of the said notes, when returned to
the Treasury, may be refused from time to
time, as the e1igencies of the public service
may require; and 10 lieu of any of said notes,
or any other United States notes, returned
to the Treasury or Cancelled or destroyed.
there may be is-ued equal amounts of
United States notes, such Is are authorized
by this act"
Here ia provision for the issue, in lieu
Of any Treasury notes returned to tho Treas
ury and cancelled or destroyed, of an equal
amour. Of United States notes Of the chsrac.
ter authorized BY said act, and also limita-
ton OF the maximum to four hundred nil-
lions of dollars. This Law authorizing the
reissue up to this maximum has not been
repealed, it stili exists. No one can dispute
the authority Of the Secretary Of the Treas
ury, whenever the total is found 10 be below
this maximum, to increase II TO that amount.
The amount of Treasury notes now in cir
cnlslion. amounting to only $3.50 000, 600,
falls short Of the legal maximum 10 the
amount Of $4,000. 600, which, Of course,
my be reis-ued BY the Secretary at his die
crefion
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
An Iss~r~sssng Exper,m.us.

An experiment, il reported to have been
tried before the Royal Geographical Socie y
in England, by which the principle Of the
circulation OF the waters Of the sea wss
demonstrated A trough with plate glas-
s;des, soolt s;x iset long an! foot deep,
bat not more than an inch wide, wss filed
with water. At one end piece o; ice W..
weGged in between the sides to represen, the
polar cold. while the tropic heat was repre-
-entsd at tie oihe Other end By bar Of met
al laid across the surface of the water. the
projecting end o. which wss heated by a
spirit lamp. Ped coloring matter was then
put in al the warm end, and blue a, the cold
end, so that the Currents could be traced
The blue water, chilled BY contact with the
ice, Immediately fell down to the D tom,
crepi slowly along. md gradually rose to-
ward the surface of the equatorial end, aftsr
which it gradually returned slung the eur
face to the starting point. The red water
crept first along the surface of the polar end,
then fell to the bottom just a. the blue had
done, and formed another stratum, creeping
hack gain along the bottom and coming to
the surface. Each color made distinct cir
culaiioa during the half-hour in which the
audience viewed The expsrimepa.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1873-10-16
AORIOA,nN NEW PLAY.

The Senate Committee on Privileges sud
Elections, which have been in session in New
York, have decided to report fsvorsbly on
Senator Morton's plan Of electing the Presi-
dent by popular vote. The plan abolishss
the Electoral Colleges provides for the d.
rect election of President and Vice Presiden!
by dis,ricts; each State to have a number Of
distress equal to the number of Congressional
representatives,, the vote Of each district to
count one Presidential vote; a plurality in
the popular vote of each district to decide
the dsi;rict vote; the person having the high
eat number o: district votes to receive the two
State votes at large, given to each State; and
the person receiving the highest number Of
votes in all the States on this plan to be
elected President. The machinery for elect
ing the Vice President is the same. The re-
port also provides that Congress shall estsb-
lish tribunals for the decision Of contests as
to the vote of any district or State.