Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1873-01-24
Kfndling Wood.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

YOU'VE MAN, when you have tew sarch
Webster's Dickshionary tew find words
big enuf tew convey yure meaning, yu
kan make up yure mind that yu don't
mean much. E
Genuine grief il like penitence, not
klamerous, but subdued; sorrow from
the hous tops and penitence in market
place shows more ambishun than piety.
About the best thing that experience
kan do for us il tew learn us how tew en-
joy mizery.
The reazon wifi so phew people are
happy in this world IL bekause they mis-
take their boddys for their souls.
We are poor not from what we need,
from what we want; necissitys are not
only natral, but cheap. sgtyv
This world IL phull of heroes and hero
ines, and the reazon viii so many ov
them liv unnOticed IL bekause they adorn
every day life and not an ockashun.
Vanity il called discreditabel pashun,
but the good things that men do kan Oft
ner be traced tew their vanity than tew
their virtew. .... -
Man is a lilly eddikated animal
Don't never phrovesy, yung man, for if
yu phrovesy wrong nobody will forgit
it, and if yu phrovesy right nobody will
b..
Toung-tied wimmen are very skarse and
very valuable. Il .lr.s
Excentricitys when they are natral are
sum indikashun of superior mind; thoze
who think different from others are apt
tew ackt different.
Swain men should be treated az bows
treat bladders, bio them up till they
bust. .-ss.7 at
It il CRATE art tew be superior tew 9TH
ers without letting them kno it
Thare liz not only plum but there il vir
tew in harty laff; animals kant laff and
devils wont. ro -I
Don't never quarrel with a loafer.
Skurrility liz his trade; yu never kan make
him ashamed, but he liz sure tew make
yu. s..
I have alwus noticed that he is the
best talker whose thoughts agree with our
own.
He who acquires wealth dishonesty il
tew corrupt tew enjoy it. 4t '-<fT
Adversely IL the fire that tempers the
iron Ov man into steel.
L never had man cum tew me for adj
wise yet but what soon discovered that
he thought more ov hiz own opinyun than
he did Ov mine
Edukashun that don't learn man how
tew think il like knowing the multiplika-
shun forwards but not backwards
The only thing that we are positively
sure ov in this life seems to be the only
thing that we think Amt never agoing teW
happen, and that iz-de0tb.
The man who never makes emmy blum
ders seldum makes emmy good hits.
Truth liz the only thing that Time can
not destroy and Eternity cannot dispense
with. -
Life il short, but if yu motifs the way
most people spend their time, yu would
suppoze that life was everlasting.
The great advantage ov good breeding
If yu want tew be good, all you hav
tew do is tew obey God, luv man, and
hate the devil.
1t requires more good judgment to kno
when tew talk, than what tew say.
Good books, mi dear, are the best
friends yu kan hav; they never will cloy
and never will betray yu.
A complasent man makes every boldly
pleazed with him, and what IL more,
pleazed with themselves.
IF we couldn't neither laff nor kry, what
miserable kritters we should be.
When man gifts so low down that he
il willing tew be despised, he has tutched
bottom. #N
In CRATE crowds of persons, like CRATE
folks of birds, thare is mulch more noise
and chattering than sense. <-4#-
Thare are but dredful phew people
who can talk ten minnits to yu without
Juggling into the conversation their bak
or stummik akes.-.Neao York Weekly.