The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1873-03-20
Company Manners. "

The current phrases Of the day are the
key to the social life of the people, and
the very common expression company
manners" utters a disagreeable hint of
difference. between the public and private
behavior of the average household.
Manners says Emerson, ''are the hap
py ways of doing things" Handsome
IS that handsome does, good Mrs. Prim-
rose assures her daughters. And the
Hindoo Menu wrote: Grass and earth
to sit on, water to wash the feet, and
d6ectionate speech are at no time wanting
in the mansions of the good" That is,
the fine manners of hospitality, service,
and courtesy should be universal. Fine
manners are the growth of self-respeet,
of benevolence, and of tact To self-re-
spect they owe it that they are genuine,
and not a tinsel imitation of the fine
gold of some model. To benevolence
they owe it that they seek always the
comfort and pleasure of others. TO tact
they owe it, that without words, they see
within that comfort consists, are keen
eyed to find pleasant things, and blind to
what they should not see.
This being the definition of company
manners" it will instantly be seen that
nowhere is this considerate grace so
needed as at home and alas so absent.
When Miss Smith, the visitor, trips up a
perishable goblet with her fashionable
sleeve, mama says, "PIay don t mind, .
and papa smiles blandly at the dripping
table-cloth; but when at their visitorless
table little Mamy's insufficient hands let
the glass slip, ten to one mamma boxes
her ears, and papa calls her "a naughty,
caseless child If Mr. Jones is staying
in the house, mamma and the girls come
to breakfast in pretty collars and ribbons,
\ 4..4a 4
of heads. But if only papa and the boys
crimping pins are almosWAs certain as the
coffee. And on the other hand these
lords of the household, who have much
pleasant conversation for neighbors and
friends raise a rampant of morning news
paper between them and their own wo-
mankind, and sit behind it, sspeechless,
and impregnable to all conversational at
tacks, week in and week out; or, worse
still, the members of the household think
it too much trouble to talk to each other,
and so the meals go by in grim, unoecu-
pied, miserable silence, each feeder push
ing his chair back, and departing when
ever his eorn-crib is empty, so to speak.
At such table the cloth is apt to have
seen better days, and the furnishing to
be common and coarse, all the shining
damask and china being safely stored
with the company manners for occa-
sions of need. Moreover, the best room
is similarly consecrated, and the common
sitting-room conscious of the neighbor-
hood of such careful splendor, is brow
beaten and unsettled in consequence,
and grows to have the shabby look of a
poor relation.
The members of the households are
worthy people as the world goes. They
are honest and sober, intelligent and
well-read, perhaps; excellent neighbors,
agreeable friends. But because their
manners are veneer, they peel off every
where under the hard knocks and famil-
lar usage of every day. The women are
apt to be dictatorial TO servants, and un-
pleasantly direct of speech to each other.
Annie, that dress makes YOU look
hunch-backed." Mary, / do believe
your complexion gets worse every day."
Well. certainly, julie, your feet are big
enough for the whole family. Where
you inherited such deformities l can't
see Yet these sisters and mothers
would not deliberately stick pins into
each other, and pins do not hurt half so
much. We have even known families,
by no means Doors, to interrupt each
other constantly. and without compunc-
tion. A stranger would have been al
lowed to finish his Sentencef but they