davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
A Langhahle Practical Joke :.
New York dec. 2O) Cor. Chicago Times.
A very amusing r1ractical inka NAV.

New York dec. 20 Cor. Chicago Times.
A very amusing. practical joke, played
by some fun-loving members of the
dramatic profession on Mr.. Philip Lee,
husband of the charming actress, Miss
Nelson, has just come to light. Mr..
Lee is an exquisite of the Dundreary
type, very timid in disposition, and
utterly incapable of approaching any
excellence on this side of the "big
pond" Some days since he was freely
expressing his contempt for everything
American in the presence of "Dun-
dreary" Sothern, when the latter con-
ceived the idea of enjoying capital
nights sport at the expense of his
friends delicate sensibilities. Accord
ingly he said: "Pshaw, see you have
only mixed among the shoddy -ocracy
of Fifth avenue, but you have seen
nothing of the genuine Knickerbocker
society. Come, l tell you what it is;
meet me tomorrow night and l will in
troduce you to set of thoroughbreds
who are to dine with me at the Gramer-
cy Hotel" Mr.. Lee gladly accepted
the invitation, and eauntered down
Broadway. Mr.. Sothern then started
off and conferred with Billy Florence,
Neil and Dan Bryant, Charley Backus,
Nelse Seymour, and a few other choice
spirits of like stamp. plan of opera
tons was laid out for the discontinue
of the unsophisticated cockney, and
the boys separated with many inward
chuckles. Punctually to the moment
! Mr.. Lee arrived at the Gramercy Hotel,
and was ushered into a room where
six or eight gentlemen, dressed in
| the extravaganza of the fashion,
and with a profusion of Alaska
diamonds, awaited his arrival. Mr..
Sothern introduced his friends under
fictitious names, and the party sat down
to dinner. Then a series of grotesque
extravaganzas commenced, some of
which were decidedly boorish and
coarse, and filed the Englishman with
horror. Finally, to cap the climax,
Nelse Seymour, pretending that he was
insulted, drew out from behind his neck
an Arkansas toothpick fifteen inches
long. ard made lunge at Neil Bryant
The latter responded by drawing a navy
revolver. In an instant all was confu
sion. Knives and pistols were bran
dished, and, to add TO the apparent
peril of Mr.. Lees position, Nelse Sey
mour took refuge behind him, and hello
his body as shield against Bryant'l
death-dealing weapon. This was tot
much for the Englishman's nerves, anc
with yell he bounded from the room
and ran down stairs. The friends the,
resumed their dinner, laughing at Mr.
Lees abrupt departure. Then Bill.
Florence wrote bogus challenge from
Lee to Sothern, and sent it to Polio
Justice Bowling, with request that h
would stop bloodshed. The Judge say
through the hoax, and, to carry out tn
spirit of the joke, subpenaed Sother
and Florence TO appear at the Tombs a
; o'clock this morning. They appeare
at the time appointed, and, after tw
hours wait, found that they had bee
"sold," as the Judge was not in coul
at all. Amid volley of muttered pr
family the whole story leaked out.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
The Parting Guest.

Where are the good things promised me
By this Old Year that's dying?
And what care how ill he be
Who was so given to lying?
4 cozen ne, youth. he sought my door.
And tarried till his locks were boar:
A fair aid foul, capricious guest,
Who swore to give me of his best,
Who pledged himself true year;
But he was then-the New Year.
Where are the silver and the gold
Ere now should fill my wallet?
What mean these scanty clothes and old,
This attic room and pallet7
The purse he dangled in my view
Bstwixt his juggling hands slipped through.
He found me poor, he left me poorer;
But now a rich friend. and surer,
Awaits me-in the New Year.
Where are the poets bays he said
My tuneful song should gain me?
The wreath that was to crown my head.
TIL applause that should sustain me?
Alaek round other brows than mine
see the fresh won laurels Irvine:
Still, for the nusie's sake I sing;
The world may listen yet and fling
Its garlands-in the New Year.
Where is the one dear face to love
His golden mouths should bring me,
Whose smile a recompense should prove
For all the ills that sting me?
My heart still beats in loaeliness:
There is no darling hand to press;
But oh dream we yet shall meet.
And | shall find her kisses sweet.
And win her in the New Year.
Where are the works in patience wrought:
The grace to love my neighbor;
The sins left off: the wisdom taught
Of suffering and labor:
The fuller life: the strength to wait;
The equal heart for either fate?
Well may I speed the parting guest.
AND take this stranger to nay breast,
Be thou inGeed true year,
o fair and welcome New Yearl
Edmund c. .Stedmon
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
Ten Good Friends.

1T wish that had some good friends
to help me on in life p cried idle Dennis,
with yawn.
"Good friends why you have ten n
replied his master.
!" I'm sure I haven't half so many,
and those l have are too poor to help
me-"
"Count your fingers, my boy" said
his master.
Dennis looked at his large, strong
hands.
Count thumbs and ALL" added the
master.
II have; there are ten,n said the lad.
t.Then never say you have not got
ten good friends able to help you on IN
life. Try what those true friends can
do before you try to get help from
others. ~
If you are not your own friend, it If
foolish to expect others to befriend you
Providence only helps those who helE
! themselves.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
An Ingenious Fraud.

A photographer in Berlin has been
sent to the penitentiary for an ingenious
fraud which he has practiced on the
aristocracy of that city for several
months past. He pretended he could
make photographs of gentlemen SO life
like that their dogs would be able to
recognize them. When these photo
graphs were held up before the dogs Of
the owners, the dogs would wag theii
tails, and lick the pictures. The other
photographers of Berlin, who were un
able to perform any thing similar
watched their colleague, and finally dis
covered his secret. 1t was very simple
proceeding. ALI he did was to cover the
photographs of the gentlemen with &
thin layer of lard, which the dogs, O
course, smelled, and then licked OFF.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
Lean VS.. Fat.

When Judge Marshall lived in Rich
mond his opposite neighbor was Col.
Pickett, father of the Confederate Gen.
eral, George E. Pickett, of Gettysburg
fame. Col. Pickett was man of wealth,
lived well, and was not content unless
everything about his household bore the
marks of good living. His horses were
his pride, and were conspicuous every
where for their splendid appearance,
being as sleek, fat, and high spirited as
abundant food and excellent grooming
could make them. Judge MarshalPs
horses, on the other hand, where notori-
ously lean and unkempt. Everybody
but the Judge had long remarked this.
At last it was brought to his notice, with
the suggestion that his carriage driver
neglected the horses, sold much of their
food, and appropriated the money to
his own use, good deal of it going, no
doubt, for liquor.
The Judge called him up without de-
lay " Dick, what is the reason Col.
Pickett's horses are in such splendid
condition, while mine are almost skele-
tons? l am afraid you neglect them,
don't half curry them, and don't half
feed them"
Dick, not expecting this attack, was
fairly posed. He hemmed and hawed
awhile till he could gather his negro wits
about him, and then said: Mars John,
look at you-is you fat ?"
mo-" said the Judge; " decidedly
not"
"Well, look at ole missus" Mrs. Mar
shall), is she fat ?''
"No." u
"Den look at nae. Is fat?"
"No."
"Den look at yo' HOSES. Is they
fat9"
"No."
g Now den, you ies' look at Kunnle
Pickett. He fat, his ca'idge driver fat,
his HOSES fat, his dogs fat. De troof is,
Mars John, fat run in de Pickett family,
and it don't run in our'n. OATS all.''
"Well," said the Judge, after little
reflection, there is good deal in that.
1t never occurred to me before" He
turned back into his study, and Dick
was never troubled any more.-Harper's
Drawer.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
No Letters.
BY HOWARD GLYNpoN

BY HOWARD GLYNDoN.
Say at morn, Il shall have one to-day;"
say at night, {" 1 shall have one tomorrow ~
But day and night go creeping slow away,
And leavc me with might sorrow.
And he is sick, or is he dead or changed?
Or, haply. has he learned to love another?
If could know him careless or estranged
Ny pride my leve may smother.
Last night indeed. dream ed letter came.
Ali welcomer than any first May blossom
And then heard my mother call my name,
And hid it in my bosom.
And. cheated. woke. and heard the night wind
rave,
And hid my wet eyes in my lonely pillow:
And dreamed again. and saw a nameless grave.
Half hidden by o willow.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
Beautiful AllegOry.

Mr.. Crittenden, of Kentucky, was at
one time defending man who had been
indicted for capital offense. After an
elaborate and powerful defense, he
closed his effort with the following
triking and beautiful allegory:
"When God in his eternal council
conceived the thought of mans crea-
ton, he called to him the three minis
ters who constantly wait upon TIE throne
Justice, Truth and Mercy-and thus
addressed them sShall we make man p
Then said Justice, 'Oh, God, make him
not, for he will trample upon the laws.
Truth made answer also, ooh, God,
make him not, for he will pollute the
sanctuaries.' But Mercy, dropping upon
her knees, and looking up through her
tears, exclaimed. ooh, God, make him
I will watch over him with care through
all the dark paths which he may have
to tread oh, man, thou art the child
of Mercy; go and deal with thy brother. y
The jury when he had finished was
drowned in tears, and against evidence
and what must have been their own
convictions, brought in a verdict of moi
guilty.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

IHADDEUS OTEVENS mas Deen monu
mented.
EDWIN FORREST was 81 years old at the
time of his death.
The late Samuel N. Pike left an estate
valued at over 100000.
EX-SENATOR GwIN, of California, has
sold his Mexican silver mine for 81, OOO,-
600.
Hon. HENRY WILSON has been Chair
man of the Senate Military Committee
since the breaking out of the war.
WE read that Gen. Leslie Combs, of
Kentucky, although over 80 years old,
he has not gray hair in mis- head.
THE San Francisco car conductor who
snubbed Mrs. Fair has received notice
of the cancellation of his life insurance
policy.
LUpA SHoWALTEN, resident of Terre
| Haute, Ind, is commissioned Notary
Public, the first woman so appointed in
| the State.
JOSH Billings did not write line for
publication until he was more than forty
FIVE years of age. 1t was then too late
for him to spell.
THE largest stakeholder in the New
| York Tribune is Samuel Sinclair. who
entered the office twenty-five years ago
as mail clerk. He is now worth $780,
600.
AN Iowa lady has burned the copies
of Harper's Weekly which she saved
during the campaign, because she be-
| lieved its caricatures caused Mr.. Gree
ley's death.
| JOHN M. LANGsToN is a slender gen
tleman of easy manners, forty i've or
fifty years old, and strongly resembling
M. Dumas, pere, in features, but darker
in the skin.
THERE isn't much style about Com
modore Vanderbilt, with all his wealth.
His residence is large-sized brick house
in Waverly Place, built in the heavy
English style-plain as barn, but full
of comfort.
MARRIED, at Lansing, Mich, Amos
Kingsley, aged so, to Sarah Preston,
aged rs. Amos had been without a
wife four months, and Sarah had worn
the weeds of widowhood forty-six sum
mers.
WILL NJ. CARLTON, the "Betsy and y
poet, now editor of the Detroit Weekly
Tribune, and on the platform with lee
ture on "Every Man Poet" started to
lecture at Bloomington, Ind, the other
day, but brought up at Bloomington, Ill
The New York Eue,,ing Mail describes
Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stoves reading as
happy success. The curly haired
merry-eyed authoress now and then
dropped her eyeglasses to enjoy the
hearty laugh with which she infected
her audience.
GREELEY was the last of the origina
Ann street Bohemians who famished il
the day of small things. He could re
member the time when he worked at /.
case for 81 per week, and did bette
even at this small rate than when con
Quoting the New Yorker, which ran hin
J into bankruptcy. Among those Bohe
mians were Park Benjamin, Jacol
Moore, Jonas Winchester and others
and for time Barnum was one of tn
number.
IT will be remembered that few
years ago the wife of Mark M. ("Brick'
Pomeroy obtained divorce from him
the court at the time AWARDING her ali
mony to the amount of $4,000. To Sc
cure the payment of this amount, Bricl
gave mortgage on the splendid build
ing in La Crosse, Wis, known as Pom
eroy's Opera House, and containing tn
old La Crosse Democrat Office. Tn
building is now advertised for sale unde
, Mrs. Pomeroy's foreclosure.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
The Old Bachelor,s New Year.

Oh. the spring hath less of brightness
And the snow a ghastly whiteness.
Every year;
Nor do summer blossoms quicken,
Nor does autumn fruitage thicken,
As it did-the seasons sicken - -
Every year.
It is growing cold and colder
Every year, -
And feel that am older
Every year.
And my limbs are less elastic,
And my fancy not SO plastic
Yea, my habits grow monastic
Every year.
IT'S becoming bleak and bleaker
Every year,
And my hopes are waxing weaker
Eye cry year;
Care I now for merry dancing,
Or for eyes with passion glancing?
Love is less and less enhancing
Every year.
Oh. the days that have squandered
Every year.
And the friendships rudely sundered
Every year:
Of the ties that might have twined me.
Uatil time to death resigned me,
Ny infirmities remind me
Every year.
Sad and sad to look before US
Every year.
With heavier shadow Ger US
Every year;
To behold each bosom faded
And to know we might have made it
An immortal garland, braided
Round the year.
Many spectral, reckoning finger,
Year by year.
Chides me that so long linger.
Year by year;
Every early cemrade sleeping
In the churchyard. whittier, weeping,
I-alene unwept-am creeping,
Year by year.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

: A COUPLE of girls put bullfrog into
the hired mans bed to see if they
couldn't make him talk. Davie threw
it out of the window and never said a
single word. Soon after he put half
bushel of chestnut burrs into the girls
bed. About the time he thought they
would make the least shadow, Davie
went to the door and ratified the latch
furiously. Out went the candle and in
went the girls; but they did not stick,
though the burrs did. Calling on them,
he begged them to keep quiet, for he
only wanted to know if they had seen
anything of that pesky bullfrog. He'd
give two dollars to find it.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
Left.Handed Marriages.

Morgantic marriages are quite COM
mon among the princes of German royal
families. They are legitimate marriages
between members of noble families and
women of an inferior condition, and
which do not confer on the children
issuing from them right to the rank
and title of the father. Among those
who have formed such unions in Eurone
may be noted Victor Emanuel and the
Countess Mirafori; Frederick William
Ill, father of the present Emperor Of
Germany, with the Countess Harrach,
who still lives Leopold l., late King Of
the Belgians, with the Baroness Mayer
Prince Albert of Prussia, brother of the
Emperor William of Germany, with the
Countess Hohenan ;'and Prince Abel
bert of Prussia, with Theresa de Barnim
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

DR.. EVANS is the famous American
dentist in Paris. When he pulls tooth
for Cockney Englishnan, the cockney
salutes him, "Great Evans !"
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

It'll e,ch error of diet brought to my vie,o."
turned from the sight. to my bedroom stepped
back. .
And brought out vial marked "Pulv. Ipecac;"
When my Nancy exclaimed. for their sufferinss
Don't you think you had better. love. run for
doctor?
ran; and was scarcely back under my roof
When | heard the sharp clatter of old alap s
hoof;
1 might say that had scarcely turned myself
When the doctor came into the room with a
bound.
He was covered with mud from his head to his
foot.
And the suit he had on was his very worst suit;
de hardly had time to put that on his back.
And he looked like Falst9H half fuddled with
sack;
His eyes. how they twinkledl Had the doctor
got merry?
His lips looked like port. and his breath smelt
like sherry.
He hadn't been shaved for a fortnight or so.
| And the beard on his chin wasn't white as the
snow.
| But inspecting their tongues. in spite of their
teeth.
And drawing his watch from his waistcoat be-
meath.
He felt of each pulse. saying, Each little belly
Must get rid here he laughed of the rest Of
| that Jelly"
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

II fe,o 4, each bedside still half IN dose"
While the light of the taper served clearly to
show
The piteous plight of those objects below;
For what to the fond fathers eyes should appear
But the little pale face of each sick little dear
For each pet that had crammed itsef full as tick
I knew in moment row felt like Old Nick.
Their pulses were rapid, their breathing the
same;
What tneir stomachs elected I'll mention by
name;
Now turkey. now stuffing. plum-pudding, Of
course,
AND custards and crullers, ami cranberry sauce
Before outraged nature all went to the WALL
Yes lollypops, hapdeodle, dinner and all.
Like pellets which urchins from popguns let fly.
W ent figs, nuts. and raisins, jam, jelly and pie
Till each error of diet was brought to my view.
To the shame of mamma and Of Santa Claus. too
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02
Personal.

THADDEUs STEVENS has been monu-
mented.
Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1873-01-02

be here. III let the scamp sit right
down to the table with me, if he's any
ways decent"
Jake was the boy who came round
once or twice week, to do up out
side chores which were too heavy for
Betsy.
"Why don't the young one come
in? He amt usually as backward as
this ?"
Up jumped Brutus, and, with low
bark of recognition, made for the door.
who under the sun can it be?' con-
tinued Betsy. " Brutus seldom behaves
like this!'
The bright winter sun poured into
the coy kitchen, as Betsy opened the
door to let the dog out, who had de-
cided symptoms of desire and ability to
tear it down in case of a refusal.
Betsy Partridge made beautiful pic
ture as she stood in the clear sunshine,
one hand shading her eyes as she looked
to the right and left to see who ap-
preached. $50
More than one coming-and both
men ~ moaned Betsy. "If-on, if-no
what am l thinking of?'
just then, Brutus bounded again into
the kitchen, and behind, arm-in.arm
walked two men. One was little ben
| and weary but the other, whom Betsy
, immediately recognized as her Amasa o
| other DAYS, was neat and handsome, ant
, the very picture of health.
J "Betsy I'' said both the men at once.
. "Amasa Carter, and my brothe
Silas." laughed the dear little old maid
and, before she knew it. her arms Wer'
around the necks of both.
National Republican., 1873-12-10
NifBtlfOyJII ITEMS,

In Cincinnati, recently, widow lady, her two
''ons and three daughters, were all married on
the sayac day.
Mrs Scoyiii, OF Fort Wayne, Indiana, Is train.
lug for q running match, and MIR. Scoylll sues for
divorce in consequence.
A lady correspondent, who not long ago attend.
cd 8 Mormon meeting In England, says II the
Mormon men, as rule, roscmblc the "cldcrs'
who oiiciatcd on that occasion she would much
rather have q claim TO fractional part only Of
one OF them than to be his sole wlfc,
An Indiana oditor declined to publish tho pro.
cscdings In divorce case for two roasons First,
because some of his friends were mixed up with It.,
and he did not wish to publish tho fact' and see
ond, because some Of hts enemies were Interested,
and threatened TO rawhljc him IL their names np-
peared in his columns.
According to tho London Court Journal, Miss
Jerome, OF New York, Ia about to marry Lord
Churchill, third son Of the Duke OF Marlborough.
Tho editor Of the Christian Register thinks that
n some Of our restless "rcformcrs" could attend q
few golden weddings thoy might obtain new
and wholesome revelation Of tho beauty and dig
nifty Of permanent marriage.
Aman In Eldora, Iowa, married again the wcck
after his wlfe's death, aud his ncghbors gave him
. deafcning chnrivarl. Tho bridegroom finally
appeared at a window and administered scath
ing rcbukc to the crowd In this manner; "A'ni
ysu ashamed Of yourselves to be making q noise
about my house when q funeral took place here
but four days ngoT"
.Ex-ntayor Hail, Of New York, In humorou,
lecture on "Lovc, Marriage and Divorce" speak
ing OF sudden marriages, said he had known Of
breakfast acquaintance that grew Into lunci
declaration, and ended In o marriage at dinner
finished by divorce In two or three weeks viii
the first recriminatlon over tho ten minutes Of re
ireshu,cnt at some station.
National Republican., 1873-12-10
C0yyENiL COMPLIES,

A New York correspondent writes to the Chi.
cago Tribune as follows; This is tho season for
connubinl couples to visit the metropolis on we'd
ding tours, and they seen In numbers every day
at the Broadway hotels. Their incipient mntri-
moniai condition can be detected at o glance pnd
ut the lengest range. Inasmsch as marriage is
In the way OF nature and IN accordance with time
hopored custom, cannot imagine why those who
enter into Il should appenryso awkward and rd
culous. Newly wed led palrsRre among the absurd
est OF crcaturcs. They seem 30 utterly silly, so
unconaucrably sroony, that they fash across
my vision without exciting my proioundest pity
All their attempts to conceal their state, Of which
w arc sincerely ashamed, only result In their
rendering It ludiciously conspicuous. Every SER
wat, porter, beil.boy and bootblaok In and aLout
. hotel knows that they are novices In matrlmony,
aud ncvor rcfrnlns from smiling significantly as
thay 60 by. One Of the distinguished marks Of
the hymencal victims IL their complete ncwness--
not Of character alone, hut Of every article Of at.
tirs. Even TO tho soles Of they boeis their fresh
nos shines, and their movement and manner seem
tobe as isesh as their clothes. Tho fact that they
are universally recognised always nnnoys them
and provokes their constant sndsayor TO appear
IKE old married folks wouldn't II bo well,
undcr tho circumstances, for engaged persons to
practice matrimonial Ways for sons months be.
fore they fairly put on the nuptlal nooses Itthcy
would call each other Mr.. and Mrs. Jones, wear
srussts that had somewhat beon used, and show
supreme indificrencc TO ono another, perhaps they
might succeed in imposing on the public; but Sc
long as they indulge In ' Dear" and .' Darling, -
generally, they must be detected for what they