The McArthur enquirer. (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1873-1884, 1873-06-11
THE MINISTER'S TEA-TABLE.
BY ED. 7. DE WITT TALMAGE.
CHAPTER II. (coNTINUED.)

| Nhhi LEN lie \VONllNOED'J
"Stop," said DR.. Butterfield,.
"don't you ever buy newspa-
pers ?"
f" Yes yes!" said Givemfts,
and write for them too. But
| see their degeneracy. Once
you could believe nearly all
they said; now he is a fool who
believes a tenth part of it..
There is the New York Sean
dalo'Onger and the Philadelphia
Prestgateaw, and the Boston
Prolific, which do nothing but
hoodwink and confound the pub
lie mind. Ten dollars will get
a favorable report t-of faemeeting,
or as much will get it carica-
tured. There is a secret spring
behind almost every column.
1t depends on what the editor
had for supper the night before
whether he wants Foster hung
or his sentence commuted. If
the literary man had toast and
tea, as this before me, he sleeps
sOundly, and next day says in
his columns that Foster ought
to be executed he lisa good
fellow, and the clergymen who
went to Albany to get him par
doned were engaged in a holy
calling, and their congregations
had better hold fast of them,
lest they go up like Elijah. But
if the editor had a supper at
eleven o'clock at night of seal
lops fried in poor lard, and a
little too much bourbon, the
next day he is headachy and
says, Foster, the scalawag,
ought to be hung, or beaten to
death with his own car-hook,
and the ministers who went to
Albany to get him pardoned
might better have been taking
tea WITH some of the old ladies.
| have been behind the scenes
and know all about it, and
must admit that | have done
some of the bad work myself
[ have on my writing-stand
thirty or forty books to discuss
as critic, and the column must
be made up. Do you think |
take time to read the thirty or
forty books? No. | first take
a dive into the index, second
dive into the preface, a third
dive into the four hundredth
page, the fourth dive into the
seventieth page, and then seize
my pen and do up the whole
job in fifteen minutes. | make
up my mind to like the book or
not to like it, according as | ad-
mire or despise the author.
But the leniency or severity of
my article depends on whether
the room is cold, and my rheum-
atism that day is sharp or easy.
Speaking of these things re-
reminds me that the sermon
which the Right Reverend
Bishop Goodenough preached
last Sunday on F" Growth is
Grace" was taken down and
brought to our Office by a re-
porter who fell over the door
sill of the sanctum, so drunk
we had to help him up, and fish
in his pockets for the Bishops
sermon on holiness of heart
and life, which we were sure
was somewhere about him.
"Tut tut !" cried DR.. But
terfield. 81 think Mr.. Givem-
fits, you are entirely mistaken.
The Doctor all the while STIR
ring the sugar in his cup, |
think the printing press a
mighty agency for the worlds
betterment. If | were not a
minister, | would be an editor.
There are Bohemians in the
newspaper profession as in all
others, but do not denounce the
entire apostleship for the sake
of one Judas. Reporters; as !
know them, are clever fellows,
worked almost to death, COM
PEELED to keep unreasonable
hours, and have temptations to
fight which few other occupa-
tions endure. Considering the
blunders and iudistinctness Of
the public speaker, / think they
get things wonderfully accurate,
The speaker murders the Kings
English, and is mad because the
reporter cannot resusticate the
cOrpse. / once made n speech