Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-09-03
The Family Letter.
From the Danbury News.

From the Danbury News.
In nine cases out of ten the letter is written
bv the head of the family, and Of those sent an
canal proportion is addressed to his wife folks.
We dontt know why it is that a man SO rarely
writes to his own folks, but as it is not the pro-
vince of this article to treat on that subject, We
will rretepd we don't care The hour being Sc
Irctel for iudting the letter, the first thing is
70 find the paper. There is always drawer in
every we.reguated family for keeping such
things. 1t is either in the table or stand.
Here the writing paper and odd screws and nd
die strings and broken locks and 6sh-lines and
grocery receipts are kept. There may be other
things, but if there are he will see them. The
sheet of paper is finally found; the fly stains
neatly scraped off, and the search commences
for the ink and pen. The former is invaria-
bly, found on the mantle next to the clock, and
is Immediately laid on the table convenient
to the perspiriog man, who sarcastlcally ln-
uuires If the letter is to be wltten today
or next Sunday This inspires the wife
with new zeal in the search. She goes
over the drawer again, because she knows ne
wouldn't see anything if it was right under his
nose, but it is not there Then she looks over
the top of the bureau, and lifts everything on
top of the tront-room table, and says 1t seems
60 singular it can't be found when she saw 1t
only the day before, and thought about the
letter Then she goes into the pantry, and at:
Ter exploring the lower shelf in vain, stands up
ou chair, and carefully goes over the top
shelf where the medicine bottles and unused
cans are stationed. After she has done this
she starts upstairs, and pretty soon returns
with the pen, and takes it to the sink to wash
the grease from it; but does not succeed in
quite cffacing the delicate scent OF bergamot.
This leads him to observe that anybody vino
takes pen-holder to lift hair grease from a
bottle is too pure and Innocent for this world.
Everything now in readiness good-humor is
restored, the wife takes seat opposite, with
her elbows on the table and her chin in her
hands, and assumes an expression OF counte-
nance that is nysteriousy calculated to both
encourage and repress the writer and he
vrasps the pen tightly between his fingers, and
sarcs at the paper with an intensity that Is en-
,irely Unnecessary The date-liue starts off glib
Is. and then suddenly ceases as it reaches
the date itself. He puts the holder in his
mouth, and immediately spits it out again,
making up face that is no wise suggestive
Of bcrganot, and pettishly asks her If she
knows the day of the month. OF course she
does Ii is the l3th-or is it the-but not
must be. She hestates. stares at him, wavers,
and is lost. She don't know whether it is the
18th or the lSth but the almanac will tell, and
delay Of fifteen minutes, during which ne
makes ninety five passes at Que hy. The date
having been satisfactorily settled upon, and
the things which rolled over the floor as that
stand drawer unexpectedly fell out having
been restored to their place, the date line Is
comp lctcd aud Dear Mother started. The
lcn is a home pen of bashtul mould, and when
ever it starts line it requires a half dozen
passes to make it give down. All home pens
do this And all home sheets OF paper have
: Weak spots which the ink refuses to cross, thus
creating some rcmarke BILE division OF words,
and considerable confusion among sentences
SOlneot these spots are TWO inches In diameter
u and anybody in the next room can tell the mo-
mcm the writer comes to them, just as If he
was looking over his shoulder. When the let
a ter is completed, which generally occurs at the
n end OF the fifth hour from the commencement
A II Is carefully read over and supplied with ab-
n sent words, aud then gone over again and ar
II usticaly touched up with the pen at the bare
i PAGES Then it is folded up ready for the en-
vc'olc, and the discovery is made that there is
\ noeuvclope in the house, and the letter is
tucked in behud the clock until the want is
supplied
How ROYALTY TRAVELS The travelling
'Tan OF the Empress of Russia, is, perhaps,
'ir most complete and luxurious in the world,
and it is, indeed house upon wheels 1t
Consists of eight saloon carriages and offices,
:oanGe'ed by covered passages, and divided
no Ching and drawing. rooms, bed rooms and
Acheus; The dinipg-room has large oval win
4'SS' which give uninterrupted views over the
Iuntry through which the train passes; the
St'aT'3g-r room is an elegant apartment, prettlyo
.afAFhed and the bedrooms might be those, OF
..%Huiortable house. The beds, are seemingly,
Vs. mNS ordinary kind, but are in reality, ham
W,yA>, u.i which enable their occupants to sleep
;.l ;s..oaI sustaining any annoyance from the Vi
TTa'"n Of the train. OF course such an estab-
r,nI r,,aenl would not be complete without ser
.uS' .nS and to the train are attached domestlcs
~@' kinds, from buffers to engine drivers and
s;sS' s,; 10 the train, however, is attached
II II souyenlr; it formerly belonged to Napoleon
aa 1'1' and was used by him for his Lyons jour
r,!!> though it would be difficult to recognize
soa> s> Tue same, SO completely has it been re-
INSTRUCTED and improved
plv