Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1873-04-12
HOW TO MAKE FORTUNE.
The Story Of the Rise Of Samuel McFadden
as Related by that Veracious Chron-
ioler, Mark Twain.

Samuel McFadden was watchman In
a bank. He was poor, but honest, and
his life was without reproach. The trouble
with him was that he felt that be was
not appreciated. His salary was oaly
four dollars week and when he asked
to have ID raised, the President, Cashier,
and the Board of Directors glared at him
through their spectaeles, and frOwned on
him, and told HIM to go out and stop his
insoleuce, when he knew business was
dull aud the bank could not meet its eX-
peuses now, let alone lavishlng one dol
lar on such miserable worm as Samuel
McFadden. And then Samuel McFadden
felt distressed, sad and the naughty
scorn of the President and Cashier cut
him to the soul. He would often 90 into
the sideyard and bow his venerable
twenty-four inch head and weep gallons
and gallons of tears over his in'lgnih-
cance. and pray that he might be made
worthy of the Cashiers and Presidents
polite attention.
One night happy thought struck himi
q CLEAN of light burst upon him, ana
gazing down the dim vista Of years with
his ewes all blinded with Joyous tears, he
saw himself rich and respected. So
Samuel McFadden fooled around and got
/
cold chisel. a drill, and about ton of
gunpowder and nitro glycerne, and those
things. Then. in the dead of night, be
wept to the fire proof safe, and after
working At it for while, burst the door
land brick into such an immortal smash,
with such a perfect success that there
was not enough Of the safe left TO make
carpet-sack. MIR. McFadden then pro-
ceeded to load up with coupons, green
backs. currency and specie, and to nail
all the old change that was lying any
where, so that he praneed ont the bank
with over a million of dollars on him.
He then retired to an uuassuming resi-
dence ont Of town, and then sent word
to the detective where he was.
A detective called on him the next day,
, with soothing note from the cashier.
, MeFadden treated it with lofty scorn
Detectives called on him every day with
Z humble notes from the President, Cashier
and Board Of Directors. At last the bank
officers got up magnificent private sup
per, to which Mr.. McFadden was invited
= lie came, and as the bank officers hovet
down in the dust before him, he pondere'
, well over the bitter past, and his sou
was filed with exuitation.
, Before he drove away in his carriag
7 that night lt was all uAel tuht WI VI
Fadden was to keep half a million o
that money, and tn be unmole ted Il n
J returned the other half. He fulfilled nj
! contract like an honest man, but reiuse'
with naughty disdain the offer of th
s cashier to marry his daughter.
I Mac ia row honored and respected
= He moves in the best society. He browse
0 around in purple and fine linen, anl
= other good clothes, aud enjoys himsel
n frst.rate. And often now he takes hi
8 infant son on his knee and tells him o
d his early life, and instllls the holy prin
n ciples iuto the child's mind, and show
i him how, by industry, and perseverance
n and frugality, and nitro glycerlne, au
Z monkey-wrenches, and cross-cut saws
IS and familiarity with the detective system
Y even the poor may rise to atfidence an
5 responsibility.