The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1873-11-29
Cur Olio.

WuI Wllu.
Saving for the Children-The Wrong
Way of Doing It.
II not unfrequently happens that the
children Of two families living near each
other and brought up under the same So
cial and educational influences turn out
very differently on arriving at maturity.
The family that seems to have had the
most careful trimming does less credit to
itself than the families whose childish
freedom Of action shocked the critical OBJ
server. We say ''seems to have had the
most careful training" for it is often only
in seeming after all that the difference has
consisted. As rule it may be predicted
of wise family government that it viii be
known, as a tree is, by its fruit. All gov
eminent that is only from the outside, and
therefore dcspotic, fails necessarily of
reaching its end; and all government
whose aim from first to last is to teach its
subjects self-con,rol must give them con-
siderable latitude. The latter sort, how
ever, takes very much more time and
thought than the former, and is compati-
bic with certain things which have come
to be by many people accepted as cardinal
points in family policy. For instance, if
father and mother set out primarily with
the idea that they must save for their
children, and so feeling, If they bend each
year the strength of their natures in a
united effort to add acres TO the farm or
to increase the money in the savings bank,
they will spend all their force there. The
father will work hard, late and early, saving
here, economizing there, growing stoop-
shouldered and gray, but gaining his point
and thinking, complacently, Of the amount
he is worth. The mother will pinch, and
contrive, and patch and darn, practicinga
thousand small economies that nobody ever
suspects, and losing even the memory of
the day when she was bonny, blithe-
hearted girl whom her tired husband used
to come miles to see in courting days. The
children who are first in the loyal, honest
hearts that love them, though they never
have time to show it in any sweet way,
meanwhile grow up. Maria wants to take
music lessons, John wants to 60 to college,
but father and mother think of the ex-
pense, count up the dollars it will cost, and
decide that common school education is
good enough for their children as it was
for them. This only sometimes, and sell
dom where the parents are Americans,
born to the idea that the son may be
President one day. and that, as we wrote
in our copy-books, Education is the life
ofliberty." 0ftener the music lessons and
the college course are allowed, however,
and the home economies are doubled,
while it is in countless little ways that the
love Of the beautiful is stunted and crush
cd, and the children made to feel that Of
all unlovely, hard, prison like places, home
is the most So There is parlor, to be
sure, grim and funeral as hearse, and it
is only used on solemn occasions, as at
christening, wedding, or funeral. For
Mary and Lucy to sit there Of an afternoon
with their sewing, or for Charlie and Sam
to take lamp there in the evening to play
checkers, would be an unheard-of treason
against the household economy. If there
be piano, and if it stands in the parlor
there is sure to be strip of stair carpet
between il and the door, and another strip
Of stair carpet in front Of it, lest the neces-
sary going to and fro Of the girls to prac-
tice should wear out the splendors of the
best three-ply or tapestry. The children
desire to take a paper or magazine as their
neighbors do, but Il costs SO or "a year,
and father shakes his head There is to
be course of lectures in the neighboring
church by distinguished men and women,
and il would be pleasant to go, but winter
is coming aud there is coal to get, and
-four win be wanted, and mother says,
"Better not mention the lecture to your
father"
Now, when the choice Is between Goals
and flour and music and lecture tickets,
and there is honestly not enough money to
afford all, why the latter must 20. Cnt
your coat by your cloth, Of course. But
We are talking Of cases where there is
enough money TO afford nsthetic and in
tellectaal enjoyment as we'll as food and
fire to afford books and papers other than
school-books, and to put now and then
picture on the wall and flower in the
window, as well as TO buy when needed a
chair and table.
Save for the children If you can, and 10
much as you can, but remember Il is spend
thrift economy that does !, BY saving from
them. The time when they need a home
full Of grace and beauty is in the forming
period Of life. There are very few men,
if they knew il. who can afford ..et. "a h.yo