The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-08-13

bAht ntk W butlt It's duu HOultEt W
minister to her wants and permit her
to do their washing. She promised to
marry the one who broke up the most
prairie land on her fathers farm in
three days. The result was that her faith.
or found his farm ready for planting
without cost, and then she married
fellow who didn't do any Of the break
ing. She couldn't understand why
the ten we're so unneighborly as to
stay away from the wedding festivities.
A nice old man, vegetable gardner,
called at newspaper Office and in
Quired very anxiously if the editor
had seen anything in the papers re-
Gently about worm that was doing
much damage to celery. II intended" !"
said he, "ta have raised a good deal of
celery this year, but durn me, if
think it'll pay if that burned celery
grub that started at Washington a
while since, about what I've been heern
so much on, is coming this way" A
light dawned upon the editors mind
the SALARY Grab"
Tho Pennsylvania Railroad Com
pany is now introducing new arrange
ment. by which the liability to accidents
from trains going in the same direction
will be almost obliterated. At every
four miles will be a Telegraph station.
While one train is on any ono section
of four miles, no other train must run
upon it. Any train, passenger or
freight, coming up, is signaled from a
station; if it do not slack up and
keep off it is Immediately reported to
headquarters.
The striking difference between
young man and young woman is
illustrated by croaker, who says that
the first thing youn g man does when
he sees friend with new hat on is
to take it off and serenely try it on his
own head but when a young lady
sees one of her acquaintonces with
new bonnet she just lifts up her nose
and sereuely wonders "where the thing
got that fright
A Lynchburg negro, who had S14.-
80 at the close of the war, now owns
good farm, almost paid for, and has on
hand crop of $500 pounds of tobac.
co. He has done all the work him
self, with the assistance of his wife and
Il son now about twelve years old, and
Il horse. He has also raised enough
corn, wheat, potatoes and hogs for his
own use and to spare.
A rural Michigander made arrange
ments to be married on one of the De,
troit ferry boats, the other day, but
soon came back from the consultation
with the intended bride, bearing n
long face, and announced that "she
had kicked again the 'rangemcnt, Cap
ting" and he was afarid "sbe meant
TO bust the whole business"
In Maine people who are sick can
obtain liquor of the Town Agent, and
the books of this official are said to
indicate a degree of public ailment
ont of all proportion to the recollec-
tion of the physicians. In Lewiston,
for instance, the "sck" paid the liquor
agent last year $4,000 for liquors for
medicinal purposes.
1t is stated, ON authority of Ger
man cook, that turkeys and other fowls
can be rendered unusually tender, if
glass of rum be poured into them an
hour before killing, even if they are
roasted Immediately after being killed.
AND why not? If whisky will make q
maD mellow, why will it not have the
same effect upon goose?
A Dallas (Texas) newspaper says,
there is room between plow- handles in
that county for twenty thousand young
men, and not square foot behind a
counter, or in an office for those who
want clerkships, or other soft places.
There are many other counties like
Dallas Texas, and "that's what's the
matter"
Dry your tears. Science, which
makes dark places light and rough
places smooth, has discovered way
to peel onions without tears. Science
simply fills a deep pan partly with
water, aud peels the onions beneath
the surface. 1t is small discovery,
but it saves oceans of tears.
BY an act of assembly, applying to
all portions of the State, cruelty to ami
mails is made punishable by law. The
act provides for the punishment of any
person who shall wontonly or cruelty
i'll treat overload, beat or otherwise
abuse any animal, whether belonging
10 himself or to another.
A claim agent in Louisville, KY,
sends claim for use of horse in the
war to the Third Auditor, and requests
payment "as soon as the condition of
the United States Treasury will admit
of it." He must think ITncln San, is