Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-08
PAEAGRAPHlCAL.. .i!fg

An exchange says: Our Mary Ann don't
see anything so very sad in tie phrase sit
might have BEEN" g When she was told
that she might have Ben, she was glad
of it. atio ai
An Iowa paper informs its readers that
the Des Moines qlartette were somewhat
startled the other evening by finding the Sc
lection, ''When wearied wretcbes sink to
Sleep" had been printed on their pro
gramlnes, ''When married wretches," etc.
The newspapers Of the land, now that
there is not much doing in the. advertising
way, find room for the following paragraph:
There is an old negress in Nashville who
has used whisky as a beverage from her
youth up. When she wants to go on a
spree she stops whisky and takes to water.
Six, glasses of water will give her the
''hOiTors." ...-.....-.-...,... 80.
The Congregdtiondlist advises its read
ers to ''sit at the feet of horse and learn
humility" "Just so,'' says the California
Ne,cs-L Letters, ''Set Down at the feet of a
mule, and if he don't humiliate you, pull
his tail and tickle the inside of his legs
with stable fork" ai -'-.-.t
The dead walls of Nashville are covered
just now with travelling doctors fiashy
advertisements, one of his cuts being a
representation Of the upper portion of a
Young man, with the viens, muscles, etc.
exposed. The writer is somewhat aston
ished to observe that Notwithstanding this
disarrangement of his internal organiza-
tlOn, that unfortunate young man has his
hair nicely parted. and aFtistically curled.
And now they are telling a sad story
about one of our most popular and success
full physicians. 1t seems that gentleman
formerly connected with the State govern
ment, disguised himself completely, and
visited the capitol building, where he met
the doctor aforesaid. Engaging himself in
conversation, he said: doctor you have
magnificent building here---a magnificent
building. Can you tell how much it cost?"
''Five million dollars, sir; five million dol
lars. It's the pride of the State sir--the
pride of the State" was the reply. swell,
doctor, Eve known you good many years,
but I'll be hanged if l ever suspected your
possessing such splendid capabilities for
living" exclaimed Mr.. --, as he threw
off his disguise. The doctor wiited.
A dry goods merchant of this city was
ont walking with friend last Sunday af-
ternOOn, ON Union street, near Market,
when he saw big dog chasing cat. 1t is
one of the characteristics of our dry goods
man to protect the weak and helpless, at
all times, and he Involuntary picked
up a stone and waited it towards the
canine. He missed the dog however, and
sent the stone flying. through one of the
show windows of Jenkins drug store, and
he now carries the GLACIERS receipted bill
in his pocket book, as little memento of
the occasion.
Il it possible that there is a trifle of ex-
aggeration about the following: "A gentle
man who had been suffering from a superb
bundance of adipose tissue consulted a ply
stefan, asking for relief from its burden.
The doctor told him he could relieve him
| if he would consent to a painful operation.
| The gentleman consented, and with the
medical practitioner entered the telegraph
| Office at this place. The fat man was re-
queSted to remove his coat and vest, after
which the physician surrounded him with
wires, attaching the ends to a powerful gal
vanic battery. At a signal from the doctor,
Manager w. B. Eddy let on the
current, The patient writhed and
| twisted when he felt the current
passing around him, still he stood like a
martyr. Presently he began to shrink; he
grew smaller and smaller; his clothing hung
| in bags about his discriminating form.
| The doctor felt much pleased at the result
| of his experiment. while the formerly fat
mans joy was very great, although he
seemed to be suffering most acute pain.
! All of a sudden there was heard a loud
clicking at the instruments, as if Pande-
mOnium'S great hall had been let loose.
The operator sprang quickly to answer the
call. He asceTtained it was from the New
York office. He quickly asked, whats
up An answer came back as if some in
furiated demon was at the other end Of the
wire, what in thunder are you about?
| Cut off your wires, quick You are filling
| the New York office with sOap-greaser"