The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1873-05-16
The Genus Landlord.


The genus is very peculiar It has
something which it thought it did not
want at present, and had determined to
dispose of it temporarily but, as soon
as a demand is made for 1t, the land
lord is not quite sure whether, on the
whole, he does not want it himself. or
would not rather let it lie idle than
make only per cent. on his invest
ment. Pending the settlement of this
unimportant question, however, he in
quires -
What security can you offer for the
payment of the rent?" References be-
ing given him, he notes them all, and
Immediately after leaving you secures.
the written guarantee of four wealthy
men for the payment of your modest
rent of 81, 800. But he proceeds to in
terrogate.
Chow mzny in the famiIy?"
Five" answered e.
"Fivel Too few. So few people in
n large house have too much room, and
move round so much they really do
much more damage than more. I al
ways pack portmanteau full if I don't
want things spoiled. Five Any chill
dren?"
''Three, +" answered E., apologetically.
Cant think of it. l want to let it
only to strictly adult family"
every we'll" said E., promptly.
GOOD day, sir"
"stop one moment. Three, did you
say? All girls p
"No; all boys"
"Three boys Grown up, did you
Sayfn .
we were talking of children"
thinking of something else. What
broker did you say offered you the
house?"
"Smith," answered E., who did not
want the house, and, besides, was
amused at the man.
every strange / only asked for
house to Smith at all. You are quite
sure it was Smith,"
"Quite sure" said e. rather think
we had better look elsewhere"
"One moment. l trust these boys of
yours never play ball. l have had walls
spoiled by having balls thrown against
them, and could on no account think
of letting my house to a family who
allowed ball-playing.
1 assured him that balls were made of
white leather, and thoroughly washed
every night.
"That alters the case" he said.
Perhaps that might do. I must go to
Philadelphia to consult my sister, who
owns the house with me, and viii tele-
graph whether you can have the house
or not, day after tomorrow. shall
consider YOU in honor bound to take it
if I telegraph. You will understand
the rent is to be paid monthly in adj
vance"
Without waiting reply, he moved ma
jestically away !; and We, having seen
that play played ont sufficiently, turned
into another brokers' Office to consult
other lists, and start again.
A special messenger met US at our
hotel, as we re-entered it, that evening,
direct from the Jersey City ferry, with
a note from the landlord above referred
to, written Just as the cars were about
to start. It ran thus
Dear Sir In the event OF my tele-
graphing that you can take my house, I
shall require written stipulation to the
effect that no company shall ever be in
vited to stay more than six hours at a
time. Yours truly, JOHN STEIN.
P. Sou will, of course, not object
to inserting in the lease this clause 4:
"All pastry to be eaten in the kitchen,
and not in the dining-room.
elf there is one thing that I like to
see in a man, said E. to me, the next
day, it is care for his property. It is
that thrift which makes the Teutonic
element, whether German, Swedish or
Norwegian, 80 valuable as American
citizens"
The observation seemed to me val
liable one. /, therefore, note it down,
though irrelevant.-AnnG Bracket.