The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1873-08-07
SINGLE BLEssEDNEss.
Report Of Man who Kept House while
his Wife was of for the Summer.

My wife was gone away for the sum-
mer, and left me in full charge of the
house. like it; haven't had such run
of liberty since we were married. | hope
she's having good time, for can now
exercise my rights as the head of the
family. Can't do it when she's at home
she'll not stand it. She has rules, and
makes everybody about her toe the mark.
But I've got her now, and am having
things my own way.
This morning | come home quite early.
1t was AN. I'd been to the club and
got caught out in the rain. For half an
hour l couldn't find the key-hole, which
must have got mislaid. | felt for it
everywhere, and even got down into the
yard and examined every brick, but
couldn't find it. | was in the act of call
ing one of my neighbors, and asking him
who had carried Oft my front door, when
| happened to find it and got into the
house.
In the dark kicked over a spittoon,
but luckily didn't get any of the tobacco
Juice on my boots. l hung my overcoat
and umbrella on prong of the chande-
Her, let them drip ON the parlor carpet,
went up stairs and turned in with my
boots on | thought it wasn't worth while
to pull them off, as l would have to get
mp in eight or ten hours anyhow. If my
wife had been at home she'd have had me
looking an hour for the bOot,jack, and l
would have lost that amount of rest,
which my system so much needed. Be
sides, she'd have made me give full &C
count of myself, which don't like to do
| never did believe in praising myself
It's better to let others speak of ones vir-
tines. | can now wear a shirt a week
and it's nobodys business. | don't see
how ever did get along with that wo-
man. The idea of having to put on
clean shirt, black my boots, and brush
up my clothes every morning, is simply
ridiculous 1t is miracle to me how
ever did it and attend to my other affairs.
| now read the morning paper without
being forced to see an impatient woman
standing with her dress in one hand,
looking very miserable, and fiually tell
ing me she is going down town and wants
that paper Any one, TO look at the
b0use now, would know there's no women
about, everything is so quiet and com
fortahIe. and handy If l want to do a
little figuring don't have to hunt up
pencil. or pen and ink, but just sit
down to one of the tables and do it with
nv finger. and there's nobody to be eter-
naIIy welding a busting brush around
nv bed and telling me to get out of the
way until the house is cleaned up. These
are considerations that every married
man should ponder over. But when we
do ponder and resolve, what good does it
. do? That's the question which is now
agitating the American people. What
GOOD does it do? Not bit. If these
women can't have everything just their
own way, they swoon off into Mysteries.
AS a consequence, we have to pay fifty
dollar doctor bill, and stay in the house
all day. tanning them and promising in
the end that " we will be happy yet" be-
fore they show any disposition to compro-
mise. Our wives are petted too much
And this reminds me that mine won't
WELD to any other treatment. / under
took to prescribe more stringent remedy
Cor Ter one day, but it threw her into
IN more like jimjams than anything ]
Knew of. She broke every plate in the
house over my head, and then had to
Kiss her before she would promise me not
Ia do it again. That's what makes me
say she is set in her ways,
There, too, are the piano and guitar,
Rhich she kept going from morning until
midnight, filling the whole neighborhood
nth discordant sounds which she called
music. Both are as mute as the bird
AGE which was vacated last week by
sfrateoic movement of the cat
The two hundred pots of flowers she
Ieft me to cultivate don't think will pro-
luce much of a crop. They're nearly all
Eipe now, and there's no sign of flower
Fet I have watered them twice since
he left, but it did no good. | reckon
they miss her and are pining away be-
tause she amt here. In this respect
Shey do not resemble me to any alarm
ng extent.
Our kitchen never looked better. The
love and pipe have assumed beautiful
81 tint, and the pots are bringing forth
fine crop of white looking vegetable
aould. which haven't learned the name
but she'll know it when she comes.
he dishes don't look quite as bright and
lean as they might, but the flies are bad
n wear. and if were to wash them
5pery two weeks Their wouldn't present
espectable appearance.
Notice to the Editor. suppress
lat article sent you about my Spell OF
ngle Blessedness. The old woman has
10 back.
The "crushy" look which is considered
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