New-York tribune., 1873-12-25
OF GIFTS AND GIVING,

The shrewd proyerbial line of Goldsmith
about giving one ruttles when wanting a
shirt" has, in this week of universal donation,
a seasOnable value. Partly from an embar-
rassment of riches in having such 0pulent
variety from which to choose, partly from the
conflicting claims of utility and sentiment,
and again out of an anxious desire at once to
surprise and crafty, to say nothing OF the
conventional dislike of consultation, the pur-
chasers of holiday gifts find it as hard to Sc
lect their presents as, in these pInchins times,
to pay for them. Though it may be scandal
lously ill-bred to look gift horse III the
mouth. it is reasonably certain that the mouth
of that gratuitous stced is always privately
examined. Though we may have perfect faith in
and love for our friend, we know well enough
that there is closet in his character, and a
skeleton in the closet, and we are all anxious
to oblige or at least not to disobligc the skei-
etOn. In the next place, there is the bother
of repetitions and condolences Gift-giving,
if we may be allowed the expression. runs in
ruts He who is fortunate enough to have
one friend is likely to have several and if be
is great smoker, they are all sure to come
forward at Christmas or New Years, each with
fine meerschaum pipe, and, as likely as not,
with several duplicates in fashion of that
utensil. Great readers find themselves in pos
session of more than one or two copies of the
last book much talked about. Clergymen
are practically regarded by the matrons
and virgins and widows of the congrega-
ton as so many centpedes in respect
of slippers A child to whom one N0ahs Ark
would be an infinite delight, is not 80 well
pleased to find a whole feet $50 to speak, of
that sort of ship in its stocking, and natu-
rally pines for chariots and horses and regi-
ment of wooden soldiers. So it happens that
there may well be as much disappointment as
qualification on the holiday morning. x Wise
adults keep their dissatisfaction secret, hardly
owning it to themselves while master or miss
sulkily licks the red paint from the roof of
the Ark, or spitefully breaks the legs Of Noah's
neat cattle.
1t must be admitted, however, that there
are those who seem to be specially endowed
with the gift of giving fortunately, and who
hit the whole family from grandpapa to
grandchild without making single mistake.
Theirs is the precious faculty of evolving
other peoples wishes, from the depths of their
own inner consciousness. They do not 80
much surmise what is wanted and will be
welcome, as fix upon it, by kind of infaIlible
intuition. This faculty indicates the most re-
condite and precious point of love and of
friendship, which are not 50 much self -abne-
CATION a. the duplication Of self and the
almost complete Identification of two other
wise separated lives Those who are happy
in such an entire and spiritual Identification.
buy for others the desired gifts. very much "a
they would buy for themselves, 1t is our
selfishness which is fussy and hard to
suit in the selection Of donations. We
are not :. thinking so much of what
wa arc to give as of what will be
thought of us for giving. In spite of intima-
cies, we do not know the objects Of our
generosity we'll enough to be sure of pleasing
them; and nothing moro strongly than this
illustrates the superfciality of our associations.
True friendship never suspects; is never
doubtful; ID in no way greedy OF loud anu
perpetusl recognition takes gratitude, 80 far
"a Il is thought of at all, for granted; and
so keens the whole beautiful relation free
from doubt from anxiety. and from pretense
The purost love is az natural as living; 1t
harbors no doubts; it vexes itself with no
subjective self-analysis; 1t finds sufficient
thanks in q look or a gesture; and should
falsehood come TO disturb tho relation, 1t
would come like a blow from behind.
OF this genuine friendship, a. OF
all perfect things. this world Of forms and
modes and shows has not assuperduity. Ii
IL not q branch Of human knowledge taught
In the boarding schools; 1t Is not to bo found
for tho seeking; and often We are taTthest
from it. when it seoms TO w. nearest or absQ-