Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-11-13
PHUNNYGRAM MS.


-" Rents are enormous" as the loafer
said when he looked at his breeches
A justice of the peace at Kansas City
puts it, Now let the gaul darned jade
VINCE,
Some young men who, year ago.
exercised with II fast horse, now use Il
wood horse.
What is the most daring.theft that u
man can be guilty of? Taking the chair
at apublic meeting.
1t is now en- regle to wear paper col
lar two weeks, which can be accomplished
by turning, Use little chalk on the
soiled edges.
Persons who are liable to be seasick
are recommended, on the eve of IA sea yoy-
age, to take mucilage with their food, to
keep il down.
"A St Paul school-boy spelled "sob,"
and when asked to define ii, blundered
out: at means when Teller don't want
to cry, and it busts out ITSELF
Nice young men who wear half pound
rings on their fingers and feather tips in
their hats, have sworn oil--sworn off pay
ing their debts-until money is easier
All Culltl WIDlts During the INSt
week we have been visiting the solons of
the country" and his constant subscribers
think 1t is funny way TO spell saloons"
A passenger on an Ohio railroad,
aroused from serene slumber by the toot-
ing of whistle, exclaimed petulantly:
" The train has caught up with those cat
tie again."
One of our society bellies was oh.
served the other morning sewing button
on her pas trousers. For this pastime
double thread should be used, well waxcd
" Y. Graphic,
--Chawles doesn't go out now when the
grass is wet and his boots are blackened
He says the backing don't cost much, but
his mother is getting old and lame, and
can't handle brush as she used to.
"A cowardly fellow having kicked
newsboy for FOSTERING him to buy an
evening paper, the lad waited till another
boy accosted the gentleman" and then
shouted, in the hearing of all the bystand-
crs, ITS no use to Try him, jim, he can't
read"
-"What is IT, KatyY" said the teacher
81 want to know how to spell tunkan,"
said the little girl. Explain" said the
teacher "Why, | want TO write, love my
teacher more than tunkan tongue CAM
tell" said the child. That child under
stood photography,
A youth who was taking an airing in
the country, tried to amuse himself by
quizzing an old farmer about his bald
head but was extipguished by the old
man, who solemnly remarked, young
man, when my head gets as soft as yours,
| can raise hair to sell"
"A man who was "horned the other
night by his indigna mt townsmcn for hay
ing married Immediately after his wie's
death, addressed them with: Amt you
ashamed to be making such noise
about my house when there was funeral
here only three days agor
Now, Willie" says Fanny, "do have
a little courage. When have powder
to take, / don't like it any more than you
do; but | make up my mind that | will
powder TO take" replied Willie, 81 make
up my mind that won't take it, and |
dontm
Carefully compiled statistics go to
prove that if there were no rcd-headed
boys life would be far less Of burden to
school madams, and the earth quieter
anu more ptdCtiui dDOuc i Ht lnCiiHdllOH
to prod pin into a red-headed boy is
sternly irresistible, and the
red-headed boys prompt pugnacity always
relieves itself
"A Danbury boy bought and took
home a copy Of story paper. His father
took it from him and burned it. He said
that the contents were nothing but lies,
and that the influence Of such a journal
was extremely pernlcious. Then he put
his hands in his pockets, where were Il
potato and a horse. chestnut, preyentives
Of rheumatism, and went down street.
French Anecdote Said mistress:
Justine, you must present everything to
me on waiter The next day the mis-
tress heard the servant talking in the ante
with some one rang, and asked
her whom she was talking with. With
my sister, madame; she is hunting a
place i will help her to get one, said
the mistress but why don't you present
her to meg' 1t can't be done, answered
Justine She must be very proud-your
sister All, mon Dieu, madame, it is not
that; it's because | can't get her on TO the
WAITER