Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1873-08-07

Though-srandsanl Itssb 13n age to age,
| And glanced 1T many mystic page
OfGod's and Natures mighty book;
Till, in your deApayass raised shove,
| saw yearning passion rise, r: =
Az if beyond the mournful skienf
They sought the answering EYES Of Ioyes,
- - -!"depe"de t9:s
| Humorous
A NAN much addicted tU snoring re.
marked to his bedfeaoNn the morn
ing that he slept like atop. 81 know
it, said the other, "1ike a hummiDg-
top" 49,. s....; 4@~
"Mx son" SAID 3oe6ds mother,
"you should not use the word black.
guard It is vulgar: - :.What should
I use II place 81 II, ma W.. Use
-use-@ African ssntine1,a my dear. :"
"A rHEATR1cAL- xAsAaEnt who Has
nice little place Il in the, c9pntEy, has
put up on bis garden fence sf5ae the
cherries ripened, q sig beard; seaiatsg,
"Free list absolutely suspsnae1.s7
| The editor of the San Diego Woxld
records that he -sstook home and eat a
turn1p measuring ss~o' feet fouH.n1ahes
nine pounds
Ira Persian turn Christian ai 'hfa Mad
is chopped of il they catch him. All
sorts Of wickedness ate cuxed in Persia
by the Shah's little Ratchet.
A GENTLE parent at Gfeencastle, md,
lately broke the arm n: hissspensyear
| old boy with 4 club, because he.took q
piece of candy without leave and d.
vided it with his baby -brotheR!"= (.
"WHAr's tho date Of your .b1stlss"
was what IN anxious papa in Coblesbill
asked his well-dressed daughter, after
searching for the latest copy Of his
paper. 1:5io - : rsasx
A VERMONT paper says, a ;Yopng lady
from the country called at book store
the other day and azked for. e q deck
OF them new postal'keerds-double
headers"
1T is considered . big thing in Sara
toga to have cold fried potatoes FOR
lunch, or "munch," az il il eleeapAy
called there. Moreover, they sip
champagne with them. and expect TO
get home alive: = cs:a3.'o
A DEsPAR1Na American in Strasbufg
recently exclaimed, "Dont ask ne TO
see sights I am no longer SEE Sick,
but sick of sight Please introducs.lAe
to somebody who talks English, and
who won't ask me to see anything.
A SrRAsBURo, Pa, girl agreed to kiss
| young man every day for twoyears1f
he would stop smoking: He quit, and
has smacked regularly for six months,
but the girl has taken to eating oni-
ons, and he is unhappy. Young map,
neutralize, by chawing few yourself.
"THE cheerful crack of the pistol,
and the inspiring groans of the DYING"
remarks the Register, of Central City,
Colorado, "enliven the streets of Fair
play almost, making it very evident
that the lost arts of SO and go are
reviving in that altitudinous mining
camp"
A WRITER in the Temps, discussing
the origin of the word shah, says :. "a
last remark which dedicate to chess
players. Do they know the origin Of
the word che ckmate 2 It is q literal
translation of the Arabic e. cheiA
in,at-the sheikh (hng) is dying"
WHEN a crowd of jayhawkers started
disturbance in Texas church, the
other day, the preacher raised up a
shotgun and sald:.. William De1lo,
sit down, or I'll make it painful for
YOU" William sat down and was rs
quiet as alamb.
SEVERAL passengers on the Lower
Mississippi were attracted by the ALI
gators basking in the sunshine. ge'Are
they amphibious, captain Z" asked a
locker on. "Amphibious h-l!" an
swered the enthusiastic officer:
|'theyu eat hog in minute IT,. :,
"OH! the skeeter, the beautiful
skeeter, filling the air with melodious
meter. Under our hat and tickling our
nose, taking bite through hole in
our clothes. In through the window,
opening the door, filing our chamber
aud singing the sweeter, ever found the
uDtiring moskeeter. IT..
A BOY and a girl (both quite sma1i),
living in Providence, were playing
graveyard, the other day, tie girl
bringing out her dolls for burias, and
the boy digging the graves. After dis:
posing of one or two, the boy remarked
that "it was a healthy old graveyard
without trees"
A DEALER in artificial eyes, who
thought to find handsome Business
opening in the far West, has been ut
terly ruined, it is said, by competi-
tor, who has devised process of hard
ening and preserving the unclaiaed
natural optics which are swept out, of
the different barrooms every morning,
Two STRANGERS approaching Boston
over the Lowell railroad, recently, had
occasion to regret the near proximity
of Miller's River to the track, whed
one remarked, "That will sure bring
the cholera:" "Oh, no." said the
other, ';It smells strong enough to
drive it away!' 80 =! -
"WHY is it that 50 many men are
troubled with brain diseases of late r.
asked q gentleman. "In this tele-
graphic. high pressure age" replied .
friend, "there are q great many more
things to occupy ones attention than
there were twenty years ago, but the
brains amt any bigger now than they
were Them 7r,
The most wonderful fish story out
comes from Sodus. A Palmyra lady
was trolling in the Bay, when q fish
took her hook. Just as the lady was
about to take the fish into the. boat,
her gold plate dropped from her mouth
into the water. The fish shook the
spoon from his month. took the plate
Of teeth and disappeared in the deep
water. 2'7
PUNCH gives the following eIaspera-
ting instance of "clerical presnmp-
ton " Coal mine overlooker 60 curate)
10 can assure you, sir, that these
ere GOLFERS, now they're in full work,
can make their ten an twelve shi]ln'
day z" Curate-'' Dear me! All! it's
actually more than get! Why, it's
more than get!"
WORDSWORTH" said Charles Lamb.
g one day told me that he considered
Shakespeare greatly overrated. There
is" said he, an immensely of trick in
all Shakespeare wrote, and people are
taken by it. Now, if 1 had a mind
could write exactly like Shakespeare.
So you see," proceeded Charles Lamb
quietly, lit was only the mind that
was wanting"
On Friday morning. the 18th inst.
one of the most famous jewellers OF
Paris exhibited his collection of jewels
to the Shah, who purchased for coo, 600