The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1873-04-13
A TIMELY INVENTION.
A BOON TO JOURNALISM-BO-
GARDUS' PATENT IRRESIST-
IBLE COMBINATION
KICKER.
ffrom the Courier.Journal

From the Courier-Journal
have Invented u machine for reducing
the number Of exchange fends now in ex.
istence. As many of your exchanges
know, are persons Of great perseverance,
who continually drop into the room where
the exchanges of . newspaper are kept,
and wrestle with them under the pretense
of searching for the daily San Francisco
'Crusher,' or the Waco 'Bullwhscker,' or
some other sheet that they offer to swear
they cant find VI the newsstand.
These persons, ~ IL their pres.
ence alone we're not suddenly harrow
ling, have a way % sitting for at leas.
half an hour At q time, and rafting the
papers In the exchange basket in 4 way
evidently intended to exssperate and con.
fuse everyone At work within range Of the
noise. They do worse. When one OF
them 10 informed that the paper wanted 10
not to be had, he invariably says, IAN old
one will do just 40 well = and bis brow
dsrksns with unmanly suspicion when he
10 told that the paper he wants hiss posi-.
lively been carried out. These persons
also make tedious and unnecessary eXpla-
nations, consuming much valuable time
and wearing out the patience. They
know everything that's dissgreesble and
practice it persistently. All their faults,
If written Of here, would make this thing
too long.
The invention to which refer is known
A. "Bogarduss Patent Irresistible Com.
binstion Kicker, for the use Of Newspaper
Offices, and 1t 10 In every way superior
10 the buzz-saw now in use in some VI the
western newspaper Embellishments. II
consists mainly Of: first, 8 large, strongly
strp saI h. Lza
are concealed numerous remarkable
springs Of extraordinary power; second,
sD immense boot made Of Q hard, un-
yielding substance, and connected, be- |
meath the door, with the chair; third, o.
number Of strong rods and things con-
Meeting the whole with the steam engines
Of the establishment. The boot and chair
Ars also connected with q powerful hook,
concealed in the ceiling.
As the transporting exchange fsnd APP
proaches, be 10 requested to DO seated in
the chair, which is placed close to the bas-
ket In which the exchanges are kept.
just Ne he settles IN the seat and reaches
for an exchange, u member Of the editor !
ial staff suddenly jerks cow enient knob; |
the powerful and wonderful springs in |
the char begin 10 toss the fend in . most
extraordinary manner; q portion of the |
door slides away, and the immense boot |
swings into view making kind Of crash
ing noise, as though the building were fal-
ling. In few seconds more the remark
able springs, true to their task, throw the
astonished hend into position which
makes hun face the door. The concealed
hook then drops from the ceiling and sell
Yea him by the coaL-collsr, and then the /
boot, with the rapidity of lightning, 10 put |
where il will do the most good.
When the boot has gone rapidly back |
and forth for about hal. q minute, the /,
machinery lis stopped, the shattered aeni !
10 lowered to litter and carried out, and |
for six week be lsnguishes under the inn /
preston that he has been assaulted from |
behind by the tutelary demon Of the press
or some equally eIsspsrsted monster too |
tideous to describe. He never returns to !
the exchange basket.
The Patent Irresistible Kicker 10 very
effective, and has been known to shstter
ono Dr. Hsrdings celebrated interview !
ing cushions at ons blow. i anticipate a !
great demand for 1t % soon ~ its merits
became known. The specii alton Of this
pAten. 10 the spring-wor Of the chair,
with the connecting boot.
j. q. BRAITHwAirE BoGARDUs.
Louisville, April s.