The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1873-04-30
Poking Fun at a Railroad.
From the Richmond Guide.

the railroad between Richmond and
Petersburg:
But about this railroad. OF course
l want it abolished-eyery enc does.
The reckless velocity with which the
trains run between here and Peters.
burg is absolutely frightful. / was
delighted years ago when this read
was built, because I thought we had
got rid of the old rickety and dan
gerously fast stage coaches, but the
speed they are beginning to run the
trains on this road is worse yet. Now
every one knows that Petersburg is
twenty-five miles from Richmond, If
it is all inch, and day and half is
plenty quick enough for the trip, but
the managers have already reduced
the schedule to one day, and with
making the engine fires teo hot, and
racing with COWS along the road, and
with all that, the conductors are cut
ting the time down.
Why, it was only the other day,
on the home trip, we happened to
spy old Jim's mule about two miles
from Manchester. What should the
wretch of an engineer do but to clap
on full steam and race every foot of
the way into town. We didn't ex-
actly pass the mule, but Te caught
up with him twice, and came to
Manchester crossing neck and neck; /;
and which was putting most, the
mule or the engine, you couldn't have
told to save your life.
Now it was exciting, and all that l
know, but l hadn't purchased an ac-
cident ticket, and I don't believe the
other four passengers had either.
This is all wrong, Mr.. Editor, all
wrong.
And then, on another occasion, I
remember, we came within hairs
breadth of having a severe accident.
The engineer had gotten off to snow
ball chipmonk, and the conductor
was minding young widows baby
for her-the result was that the train
happened to get on a down grade,
and was started off at terrific rate.
every bit of four miles an hour, |
should think. We were just a mile
above Chester, and the first thing we
knew, there being no one to whistle
and wake up the switch tender, we
were turned eff into the Coalfeld
read, and went down the track at
full speed. Imagine our consterna-
tion when. just at this moment, we
heard the whistle not half a mile
ahead Of us, of the up coal train.
We were paralyzed with terrOr-here
were tive trains on the same track.
approaching each other at the dizzy
speed just mentioned. Evidently our
time had come. In few hours the
engines would meet, and then de-
struction
With great presence of mind, q
minister on board organized prayer
meeting, Pale. but calm, the DOOM
ed band of passengers sat, aud
though. with the very shadow of
death upon them, lifted up their
voices in o parting and solemn hymn.
"Send for the baggage-master,"
said a young man with sad smile.
"Why" was asked.
because we are all about to pass
in our checks
Everybody wept. From the rear
platform we could see the miserable
engineer straining every nerve to
catch up, but he had tight boots on,
and did not gain anything to speak
of.
At this moment n ray of hope
dawned upon US. ! had just finished
writing my will on the back Of a
visiting card, when I saw young
lady in the act of detaching her
hustle. Placing the article-which
was composed of eight hundred
papers and hair mattress--under
her arm, the heroine marched boldly
through the car.
We followed her anxiously.
She climbed upon the tender, and
then over the engine. It was very
interesting and thrilling to see her
climbing the wheels and brass things
on her way to the cow.catcher. It
reminded me Of the country girl get
ting over a wire fence. But never
mind about that now. Let me see
where I was. Oh, yes; on the cow
catcher. Holding on by the cross
bars with one hand, the noble maiden
tied the hustle on the sharp prov
with the other.
You can guess the result. In the
course of the afternoon the collision
came off. Protected by the hustle,
the engine received a geatle bump,
and We were saved. l took up
collection for the woman on the spot.
I always take up collection on such
occasions-always. And what's
mere, 1 never forget to give the OBJ
ject interested something cut Of it