davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

NEW YORK has a precocious youth,
who will yet reach Congress. or some
worse place. if he only perseveres in the
path upon which he has started This
youthful member of the rising genera
ton is credited with the conception and
execution of the worst practical joke of
April-fools' day. According To the
World. he woke up the inmates of the
house in which he and his mother, with
other persons, reside, by personsting
both a burglar and defender of his
house against burglars. He had smeared
the wall with a reddish fluid to appear
like blood: had forced the scuffle cover
open, and then, when all was in readi-
ness, fired, like a valiant man-at-arms.
three times at vacancy. His mother was
frightened. The boy with admirable
forethought reloaded his pistol, handed
it to his mother, and only then walked
off to the police station to inform the
captain of what had occurred The police
StdfCutu the mouse A-1u TIE us1gHtOr-
hood, bat without result An examIna-
ton in daylight showed the whole thing
was scandalous hoax The stuff ON
the table AMI walls was the worst imita-
tion of blood imaginable. 1t was a sort
of greasy, transparent part. and be-
frayed home manufacture ut glance. |
The scuftle was forced from the inside,
the impression of stove-shaker near the l
latch being very apparent. and the latch
staple had been hammered over the out
side where it was easy TO draw. The
bullet at the head of the bed and the
bullet picked up under the window in the
yard corresponded with each other and
with those in box of Smith l. NELSON'S
avowedly the property of the
hopeful youth Altogether the joke was
planned, but was defective rs
! scheme to hoax a policeman with half
gram of perspicuity.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

A LARsK number Of emInen. phys
clans, chemists and others, belonging to
various countries Of Europe, have
formed themselves into . union for the
purpose of constructing . general Euro-
pean PharmacopGia- DR.. Thudichu-a
has recently delivered An address on the
subject, in which he showed that, dur
ing the last 300 years. many men had
tried to realize the idea of . general
phamacopgia but ~ these attempts
we're mostly made by single individuals.
each Of whom endeavored to Cary out
his own idea in his own nay, fsilure vas
necessarily the result II . thought
that the present cooperative movement
viii be more successful
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02
VARIETIES

sfhlk llE>
HoxEsrr-An excellent Joke.
MoSEr-The god of the country.
wEALrH-The most respectable qr.I-
ity Of men
WATEg-A clear fluid once used A. /,
drink
EsorIKE - Everybody, vet nobofv
equal to colonel
ToSGrE-A little horse that Is cortir-
ually running away
MoDEsrr beautiful flower IL.
fiourishes IN secret places.
JrKr-Trelve prisoners IN = box. %
Try one or more at the bar.
WHAT is the riddle of riddles. LIZ.
for We have Ito give it uph
MISERY loves company, and 50 does a
manageable young LADY.
OvEE-wAEx friendships. Ike b., pO.a-
toes. are quickly dropped
The dearest object to a married naan
should be his wife, but If Is no; urfrr-
quently her clothes.
Az old lady hearing somebody say tia:
the mails we're very irregular. said: 1T
was just 50 in my young days-no trust
ing on EN-"
Az Irishman quarreling with an En-
glishman told him If be didn't hold MS
tongue he would break his inp-netr.ble
head and lie. the brains out Of his empty
skull
Has your sister got son or daugh-
.er?" asked an Irishman of = frien.i
Upon INV hfe,- WAS the reply. Il
don't know vet whether / am an uncle
Or aunt
A HrBEKSIxS gentleman, when told by
ais nephew that he had Just entered ool-
ege with a view 10 the church, said: Il
nope that may live TO hear you preach
nv funeral sermon"
"wHr,- asked . governess Of her
title charge, do Ne pray God to give
Is our daily bread. Why don't We 81
or four days. or five days, or a week
: We wan: it fresh. replied the ingsni-
ms child
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

He saw that it was all up with him.
and quietly submitted to the Handwriting
process; but when took him before the
Chief. he broke down and begged pite-
ously to be letotf for the sake Of his wife
and child.
When on trial. he confessed that he
had stolen the banks funds To liquidate
gambling debts. and having missed the
stone of his ring short time after the
robbery, and fearing that il might lead
to his detection. had attempted To have
it replaced. as We have shown.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

The New York Herald holds without
dispute the position of the greatest
newspaper in the world Editorialiy Il
is not brilliant, but In the collection of
news matter it IL almost always ahe>-i
Its last feat has been to send . reporter
down into the ocean with the divers vbo
visited the Atlantic wreck Whit fhe
Herald accompllshes In the gathering a
information is rendered possible by the
support given il by the advertising pub
lie. 1t is no unusual thing for The
Herald TO print q quadruple sheet. eight
pages of which are filed With snail
closely set advertisements, while the
cards of business men are alro found on
the other pages The West Is fast tre.d-
ing on the heels Of New York In this ~
specf, and The Herald scarcely exreests
the Chicago Tribune Id the quantity OF
its advertisements Cincinnati, too =
generous to its newspapers. and thr
Commercial is to-day one Of the mort
profitable journals IN the land The
effect of really great newspapers upon
the city wherein they are published en-
not be over estimated IN the good that
thew do.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02
A G0On-yygUr

III ligat yss sOxn ~ ss..-.
u = - Aar1 = 80 sasa.
And hsaa tAr -az.E'. ~1,h sz.s va. -
UP Aaeh @Aoss h<r Ae.1-
Ihe hrsf fel q A-r sAszszx 49,
Ani aa A-r lily f.o~.
Ard 81 ~ arm ara sho1Esrr. eurr.s
MIA sseh s1rTasssnx grace
IL fen upOn . h; q vine
AID l1sfsos. or k<- A<SI
IIrG = rrsr-ksd n Asr tkrs.xs.
os dsP Ard lrlzsl.z nd
And Al aroEAd zas darf. ave .Aer-
There sA~n< i.r lxz-ps suss la<h.-
sso-1Hz Escrzr~ 4. frzn<.
fr4zns q salae nixhs
iturrssi - Book huatrss ti-.<<
"a b<.u.lf1l iahs<.z-
e.il-a- and 80 lszrs>i hsrf. T.k~ -,
He e2rrfnl h0~ ysz es-
% b-2a;y r4i.e. I sbozxH. - h0~ as<k
Tie void nay esxr BE-
H0~esrr dA-k 60 o0ad-yss s<lII
Il al be bxasli saz- sA-~-
And then ] ran h.sf fhrO@xA tie az-s.
To hiss h-- care .<xs,:
For s1dd~a 10y rss-~<~z<d ny h<ars.
AlraDss ss k~en - rxl.-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02
THE ZELL-TALE DIAMOND.


Leaf from . Detectives Life.
On the night of January 10, IS, tn.
Clifton Bank was entered by burglars
who made good their escape with thirty
thousand dollars in their possession. As
soon as the robbery became known, ]
repaired to the bank and sought the
President, to whom I presented my Gre
dentials, and made known my intentions
of commencing work at once. The old
gentleman readily acquiesced, and to-
gether we passed into the main Office.
where several spruce looking young men
were scratching away as unconcernedly
as if they had not been engaged in an
animated discussion of the robbery only
minute before. I glanced at them
sharply, but saw nothing suspicious in
their looks, and concluded it would be a
waste OF time to question them.
l examined the lock of the door OPEN
ing upon the street, and found it had
not been tempered with, although the
first arrival had found the door aiar. I
next turned my attention to a door OPEN
ing upon the rear, and found it securely
locked, in which condition it had been.
80 the President assured me, since the
night before.
"Who has charge of the key Of this
door?" inquired.
Mr.. ", the cashier, has one, and
our janitor the other"
"Can either of these gentlemen be
summoned ?"
Yes, both, if needs be. Here, War
rem, run around to Mr.. Ms and tell
him that I wish to see him immediate
ly."
The clerk addressed was about to obey
when a sudden thought struck me and 1
called him back.
You need not trouble Mr.. N;
but if the janitor can be found ask him
to step down for minute or two"
In less than two minutes the clerk re-
turned with the janitor-a broad-shoul-
dered Irishman, whose answers to nv
questions were given in such straight
manner that / at once exoner-
ated him from all blame.
"You lock up after the clerks have
gone home, do you not ?" / inquired,
looking the man in the eyes.
Yes, sometimes I does, an some
times doesn't" was the laconic answer.
when do you not p
When Mr.. N worr,,ks late n
nights, as has been the case putty much |
O. late"
did you lock up last night ?"
"Yis, sir, fwats more, tried every dure |
AT what time did you lock that |
door ?" and / pointed toward the front |
entrance.
We'll, as near as can recollect, half
past siven."
"Are You sure you shot the bolt into
its socket ?"
"Ayel could swear that I locked
that dure an left it locked"
Hoy about the windows? Did YOU
fastcn them as well ?"
Yis, livery wan ov Thin"
Very good, sir. You may go now if |
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

NEw.-There have been discovered
three villages of Zuni Indians, supposed
to be the survivors of the ancient Azfecs.
They dwell on the great trail from Fort
Mohave. on the Colorado, to Albuqner-
que, on the Rio Grande. and are about
a days journey from the diamond field
They number about SIX thousand, and
are very different from other tribes,
being in looks, bearing and pride of
dress manifestly superior race. The
women are comedy and modest in dress !;
their houses are clean and their cooking
good. Certain kinds of cloth are made
by them These people have fields of
corn, wheat and vegetables, Hocks of
sheep and goats, and they keep all the
domestic animals. They are friendly to
the whites, never fight aggressively. but
are stubborn in defence. Their houses
are of: stone, three stories high, and
built in terrace form. They worship the
Great Spirit and believe he dwells in the
sun.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02
SOME PRISON STATISTICS.

A good many sentimental people favor
imprisonment for life instead Of hanging
as the punishment for murder They
argue that a man is just as secure from
liability TO commit further crime behind
iron bars, as he would be If hanged and
buried under six feet of ground But
statistics show that tbere is virtually no
such thing as imprisonment for life In
this country. Governors, who have full
power to grant partlons, are elected in
many of the States annually while the
longest period for which any of them are
elected Is four years. Before each of
these in turn an appeal is made for a full
pardon or for shortening the term of i'm
prisonment and from one or another of
them an order Is issued to sc; aside the
sentence of the court The reports of
the prison at Aubnrn, n. Y, show that
between the years 1913 and 1858 there
were received 214 persons who were con-
demned for life. OF this number l3l
were pardoned: became insane 20
committed suicide; and 10 were trans
ferred to other prisons. In Massachu-
sets, one-half of those sentenced to
prison for life are pardonei out; while
in several of the States the percentage
tina. received parions is considerably
greater. In some instances one Gov
ernor substitutes Imprisonment for life
for hanging: his successor cuts this
down to a term of years; while third
man, whose synpathies are strong, grants
a full and unconditional pardon.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02
THE MiRTYRED NOSE.
BY FRANK cLIys.

There WAS man who had nose,
As men frequently do
Romanesque proiuberanee.
Which Of he loudly blew.
But Of the blows be gave that nose,
The very crueles;,
Was when he vaccinstei il
Upon its soaring chest.
He Was man OF science.
And chimney corner lere;
OF wise transformation
He had plenteous store.
Whether vaccine would work again
A fierce debate arose-
To show his faith, "faith against its work,
He tried ii ON his nose.
-Four days he passed AL unconcerned-
He knew it wouldn't ''work,"
But on the NTH he felt - II
He had "nese Of Turk"
The sixth, it seemed double nose,
The seventh was still swelling.
And on the eighth be lost his faith.
Likewise the power Of smelling.
The ninth day tried his troubled soul,
His nose had reached . crisis;
It's bridge became bridge Of signs
Indeed Of several sizes:
II was day OF wrath for him,
And-vhat made it less pleasing
That nose in irritation bursts
Into ut Of sneezing.
The sneezos we're terrific IS
The throes Of . volcano,
And with each sneeze the frantic man
Profanely howled Soprano.
He sneezed the buttsns from his vest,
He sneezed himself bald-heades:,
He sneezed his diaphragm to shreds,
And tell back on his head dead.
They opened through the coffin lid.
hole for his proboscis,
Unable to dispose Of it
By any other process:
And those who saw it sticking ont.
With one accord admitted
That noses case was pitiful-
And twas profoundly piited.
The moral Of the sermon was:
1t is = serious joke,
Into affairs Of science
A laundering nose to poke:
But poking icience into
numbskul's nose IL just
Equivalent to sending
That noses " dust to dust
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

LONDON proposes to accommodate IT.
self to late hours by giving theatrical
performances in the afternoon
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-05-02

THEE Is m average of ono Gov to
about every sixty citizens Of St LOUIS
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19
Arthur's Marriage.

Prince Arthur. another of Queen Vic
toria's sous, is about to be married. The
bride elect is the Princess Thyra, Of Den
mark, the sister Of the princess OF Wales.
A happy mother must oo the queen OF
Denmark. One daughter, If she lives,
will be queen OF England. Another
daughter, il she lives, will he empress of
all the Russias A son is, by popular
choice, king ofGrccce. Another daugh-
ter is to be the wife OF Prince Arthur, Of
England--a man who may yet play q
prominent part in the history of his eoun.
try. The only trouble about the affair
is that parliament must he asked to make
fresh grant, But then the matcn is on
and before parliament reassembles pub
lie sentiment will have cooled down, and
Mr. Gladstone will find it possible TO oh
tain an annual grant of another twenty
five thousand pounds There are enly
two more to provide fora prince and a
princess
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19

CHEAP FOR THE FARMERS Many OF
the oranges have employed purchasing
agents, who are now buying farming and
domestic machinery at wholesale prices
The wholesale dealers in Chicago at first
refused to sell except at retail prices to
the agents Of the oranges; saying that
by so doing they would lose the trade OF
agents and retail dealers. Most of them
have, however, reconsidcrod this deter
mination, and the saving made by farm.
ers by purchasing through the grange is
from 10 to 80 per cent. A farmer in Bu
rcau county gave me some figures that
will illustrate the working Of this system
A good farm wagon, complete. retails al
800; the grange purchases it for SO
A plow for which the farmers have been
paying S22 granger gets for SIG. A
$50 sewing machine is purchased tor $50
and S65 one for $50 From S40to S6C
is saved on the price Of n parlor organ
A rapidly growing competition seems to
have sprung up among the wholesale
dealers for the custom Of the oranges,
and whatever other result the movement
may have, the farmers will be greatly
benefited by the cooperative purchases
-.New York Tribune Illinois Letter.
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19

AN OLD CITIZEN OF LoNoKE COUNT,
KILLED Tuesday Mr.. Nathan Bird
was shot and instantly killed in person
al difficulty with Mr. Sullivan in Rich.
woods, Lonoke countv. The circum-
stances, as near as we could learn them
are these Mr. Bird was lawyer who
did small practice before the magis-
ates' courts Of the county. Some one
had sued Sullivan, employing Bird as at
torney Mr.. j. c. England. Of Lonoke,
was employed as the attorney of Mr. Sui
livan. The trial lasted some time during
which Bird, it appears, used some rough
language, in his argument, against Sulli-
van. The latter gained the case, and af-
ter the court adjourned, Bird persisted in
denouncing Sullivan, WHO drew his pis-
tol and shot him twice, once through the
heart. Sullivan gave himsslfup.
Mr. Bird was an old and respected citi.
zen Of the county, having been resident
of Prairie, then Pulaski and afterwards
Lonoke for the past twenty-five years
Young Sullivan, if we mistake not, is {
native OF the county. lie is very respect
ably connected, being son Of DR.. Sulli
van. Of Rchwoods This unfortunate
affair has cast a general gloom over tho
community, in which all parties were
highly respected. u. Il. Gazette.
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19
AN INDIAN BATTLE.
A Party Of 240 PawneeS Severely
Whipped by Body of 1900
Sioux.
From the Omaha Bee, Aug. S.

Through the kindness Of the Atlantic
and Pacific telegraph officials in this city
we are enabled to give the following in
terestng particulars Of fierce battle
fought recently, between party Of Paw
nee Indians and body OF Sioux.
Tee dispatch from Elm creek states
that on Tuesday morning, while party
OF about 240 Pawnee Indians were hunt
ing between the Republican river and
Blackwood creek, in Nebraska, 120 miles
southwest of Elm creek, they were sud
denly surprised and attacked by body
800 Sioux.
The Pawnees stood their ground well,
notwithstanding the sudden attack and
the superiority Of the enemy in numbers
and position, and fought them bravely
for ten long hours. They were then com
PEELED to retreat, or suffer total annihila-
ton They were hotly pursued by the
Sioux for distance of twenty five miles,
when, aided by the darkness Of the night,
they managed by great cunning to effect
their escape. They travelelled as secret
~ and rapidly as possible, after giving
tHeii puisucis tHc oiiI', ahN "iii'Su ~
Elm creek this morning, badly used up
party They were terribly punished by
the Sioux, having lost about one hun
dred among whom were some of thcil
best warriors and hunters, and large
number Of squaws and papooses' !""ryv
number of their ponies also were either
killed or captured They lost also the
most of their guns, alhunition, clothing,
and all Of their provisions, and were in a
starving condition upon arriving at Elm
creek. They had killed six hundred
buaalocs, but had to abandon them
when attacked.
The defeated Pawncos report that the
battle was one of the scverest and san
culinary engagements that has been
fought on the plains between rcd men
for many years past
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19
{" Kings Early Corn.

This is the title of sample of field ccrn,
ktst our office the past week, by Col. JAS.
/. KING. of Mulberry. AS it is an improved
|crn by a cross OF two Superior Kinds and
Brought to its present high state Of perfection
" Col. King, it has been titled by Capt. JAS.
)rEwARr Kings Early Variety The sam
)le left with us measures l2 inches. but the
fOlonel assures US this is but an average, as a
pod part of the field measures 10 inche ,
(Geral samples have been left at Stores in
bwn where it can be examined. We notice
Frat ID. c attaches a card to his, apologiz-
|g on account Of the drought. for it being no
Erycr and better. See advertisements in our
|aper. Take look at the corn and give it n
rial another season
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19
Sad State of Haytl.

Bishop Coke, in the account of his r,.
cent episcopal visit TO Hayti, writes that
for the past six years Mr.. Holly, the
chief agent of the American Episcopal
mission in that island, has devoted his
energies principally to work, not for the
English speaking people, but fer the
evangelzation Of the poor natives Of the
island, five hundred thousand of whom
are virtually heathen, though the relig
ion Of the country is nominally Romish.
The condition Of most of the blacks is
very like that of natives in the heart of
Africa Their religious condition is that
of barbarsm. They worship the spirit
OF evil, although they take their children
t. the Romsh Priests for babtism as a
charm against the ineantations which
they use one against the other. The
cam oalism Of religious superstition is
still very prevalent in many parts ofHay
t. Children are prepared for the rite by
first giving them root or bark which
Supplies them. Then they are fattened
| for the sacrifice, after which the worship
psrs feed upon their bodies. This sacri-
flee their superstition demands once a
year, and both Episcopal and Wesleyan
missionaries bear testimony to its exist
ence, ssserting that the practice is
systematic, and not occasional The
government has not sufficient strength to
suppress the practice, although it has
made the attempt Bishop Coke recalls
a conversation held with the exied Pres
ident Jefrard, whom he visited in the isl
and o; Jamacia Il did my best" said
the president, "to put down this cursed
Vardou Worship" The bishop asked if
it were possible that they thus sacrificed
children to their heather god. "Alas -
was the answer, 9 | was obliged to shoot
eight men for canibalism to strike into
those whom could not reach. Canni-
balsm is strong there, and it was for that
reason am here an exile because made
war upon it. In this land marriage is
an exceptional institution; SO much so
that one Of the missionaries, laboring in
the mountains, reported with beaming
eyes as an Improvement on the former
state Of things, that during six years he
had celebrated six marriages. The three
points which the bishop thinks ought to
be presented first and foremost to the
people Of these islands are the necessi
ty Of christian marriage, saHctificatien Of
the Lords day, and the knowledge ofthe
scriptures, of which even the nominal
christians Of the islands seem very igno-
rant.
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19

"WnAT KIND OF ELASTIC pa dry
goods man, who is wcll-kn own for his po
liteness, has father who is an excellent
citizen, but not a very smooth talker.
They were so busy at the store Saturday
afternoon that the old gentleman was
called in to help. Among the customers
was young lady who appeared to be
waiting to trade with him, whose elderly
appearance invited her confidence. Soon
an opportunity offered, and leaning over
the counter as an invitation for hin, to do
ihe same, she whispered her order. He
bent close to her and said, whats
that p in a voice that started the perspir-
alton to her forehead. Again she whis
pered. "Oh, elastic, said he in a tone
that could be heard on the walk, and look
ing much pleased with his success. "What
kind Of elastic ?" he added, bending his
head closer to the pcrspiring young
maiden Once more she trembliRgly
whispered "For garters, hey?' he re-
peated, even louder than before. without
noticing the horror struck expression Of
the almost fainting young lady "Some-
thing fancy, suppose, " he went on to
say, in happy oblivion of the storeful Of
people; "young people nowadays want
things nice My old woman uses shoe
string, and sails around without noticing
the difference. Then he got down With
tho box and turned around to show it.,
but the customer WAS gone. He stood
around with the elastic some five minutes
in waiting, but she did not return, and it
is likely he has forgotten all about the
circumstance now. .-DdnJury Ners.
The Van Buren press., 1873-08-19

.B~ The prompt attention Of the Town
Marshall is called to the obstruction Of most
all CT the Sidewalks, outside Of Main street
y weeGs. ttnncc ~ .as.tI5 "aeS sal22Huh
l!em Gay in and day OUT, but are so short
sighted they don't discover anything ont of
The way. We felt heartily ashamed Sunday,
when we saw ladies and children hunting
'aeir way to get into the Catholic church IL
could hardly be got to for the weeds. we
wouldn't wish that one Of the Fathers
night have been there for the modification,
We are sure it would have caused him. Let
Us nave little pride, fcllow-cltizens' and at
lsaSt cut the weeds frem the front Ofour own
uoors. II we won't do it ourselves, let the
iown Marshal see the ordinance on the sub
lcct Is enforced.