Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1873-08-08
THOMAS BLUMBLE.
And How He Got Married.

DOttSlCu vi UClhS SOA-
firmed bachelor, and took pride in
being called a woman-hater. / mean
Thomas Blumble, of the importing
house of "Hood, Silver & Blumblc."
He was very fond of letting the peo-
pie know that he disregarded the
charms of the softer sex, and was
frequently heard to say that he
would like to see the woman that
could get him under her thumb.
There was a time, of course, when
Blumble was susceptible to the
overtures of Cupid; because when
he was plain "Tom," of Is years Of
age, and left Crock Cove," came
to the city, and entered the employ
of "Mensor, Tigby g. Hood" he left
behind him young "Polly Ann"
with many a sigh and a tear. and
more vows than both put together,
to be true till death. For two years
he wrote constantly to his Polly
Ann, repeating the manifold vows
of boyhood love; then he was pro-
noted from boy to entry clerk, and
soon after was introduced to a very
bewitching young lady, whom we
may be allowed to call Hattie Elton.
Then he forgot his Polly Ann down
in Rock Cove, and became very in
innate with Miss Elton; he accom-
panied her to the theatre and made
her presents; he got trusted for his
new coat, and with the money that
should have been paid for 1t they
took sleigh ride to Brighton, and
feasted on hot chickens and cham
paign; to please her he learned to
polka and waltz. Things had sped
along very smoothly for about a
year; so Tom, thinking he might as
well have the matter settled at once,
popped the question. Miss Elton
appeared very much surprised; for
a moment she remained silent, then
lifting up both hands, she exclaimed:
"Why, Mr.. Blumble-she had
constantly called him TOM for six
months previous-I've been en-
gagged these two years; didn't you
know it?''
'Know it? No." replied Blumble
in utter astonishment.
"Why, yes. I've been engaged
to Charley Dudley for q long while,
and 1 thought you knew all about it,
and was only paying attention to
me out of politeness. Charley is in
New York now, but we are to be
married next Christmas"
"Married next
We may guess what Blumble was
about to say, but we shall always
be in doubt, for instead of finishing
his sentence, he took his hat and
rushed out of the house, not even
waiting to make the parting saluta-
ton OF "good evening" Perhaps
he was afraid to trust his gnashing
teeth, for fear they would change
his well-meant words into some
wicked expression.
Tom, in the privacy of his own
chamber, with his door locked, his
elbows upon his light stand, and
his face quite buried in his hands,
reverted to the years time and the
many dollars he had thrown away
on Miss Elton; then he thought Of
poor Polly Ann, whom he had scut''
so shamefully, down in Rock Cove,
and he decided to write to her, to
offer pressing business as an excuse
for not having written before, to
sue for pardon for past negligence,
and to assert that his affections
were still unaltered and unaIterable.
So he unburied his face and penned
the tender missive full of falsehoods
and of stale loye, which he dis
patched with the fullest confidence
that Polly Ann would be very hap
py to receive it. But alas for poor
human expectations! Polly AIMS
answer came. 1t was short: she
told Blumble she had heard of his
attentions to the city lady, that she
had almost forgotten him, and was
going to marry Jerry Smike, the
village blacksmith, the next week.
She returned to Tom his earliest eff.
forts in love-letter writing and a
lock of his hair, and requested him
TO return to her sundry articles in
that line that he had received from
her.
From that day Blumble announced
himself to the world as a woman
hater. He had been false to one
woman, and one woman had tricked
him. So he cried down the whole
sex. The time which Blumble had
hitherto divided between love and
business was now devoted to busi-
ness, ,and in consequence he received
one promotion after another until
he had the pleasure of seeing his
own name the third on the sign over
the door which he had entered as
an errand boy. I don't believe he
remembered that there was any such
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