Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1873-02-12
THE
Joint edueati pn-Gymnastics.

SOAAe SuuSabi
In tents xeiaement-Pacic in a cir
Gus.
The condiment for late dinners
Ketch-up.
Pies that suit the Celestials-Pup-
pies,
Which is the Oldest tree? The ell
der, ofcourse.
Congressmen. like corns, are often
paired off.
The height of MISUNDERSTANDING
your word.
Good places for matchmaking
Sulphur springs.
When a mans neektIe is united,
hew untidy he looks!
The best way is to balance your
books often if you do business on a
large scale.
Ladies say some men ooh" a great
deal when they come to pay their adj
dresses.
IT see through it," as the washer
woman said when the bottom of the
tub fell out.
What is the difference between fixed
stars and shooting stars? The one are
suns, the other darters.
Cant a mule kick three times har.
] der than a horse?" is a conundrum
before a Georgia debating society.
The man who m on the stage
exactly at his cue is prompt; but the
prompter.
at hate to hear people talk behind
| ones back" as the robber said when
the constable was chasing him and
crying, stop thief"
Brigham Young has ordered a ear
load Of scabs shipped by express from
Boston to Salt Lake city. He is COINS
to vaceinate his family.
Husband, 1 don't know wheretha
boy got his bad temper. 1 AM sure
not from me-" mo, my dear, for J
don't find that you have lost any,"
The Rock River Methodist Confer
ence, of Illinois, has voted to forbid
any more Masonic ceremonies in lay
ing church corner-stones.
A Vermont schooI-teacher insisted
that yellow" was "yaIler," andzb.
hoggeda pupil almost to death to con
vince him Of it.
Tt is said that the mysterious name
lof the umonkey wrench" was takeI
from its inventor, Mr.. Monkey, who
stu lives in New Jersey.
John Slater's barn and house in
Olmstead county, Minnesota, was
showed IN last week, and he spent
two days sinking a shaft to fodder hi
cattle.
The Iowa City Republican saysit j;
estimated that in that State 50,OOC
bushels of corn per day are burned,
and st this rate will continue for the
next two months
Rochester has taken hold of the
Sunday question. The other day 8
barber paid $16,25 into the public
treasury for shaving a man the pre-.
ceding Sunday.
The Nebraska Secretary of State
was recently called upon to act as Gov
! ernor for q week or so, and awaited
himself of the opportunity to pardon
tweDty-seven convicts from the peni-
Tertiary.
The Wisconsin Legislature has
passed a law providing that hotel
keepers may not collect their bill from
boarders who are billeted above the
second floor, unless their rooms be
provided with fre-escapee.
Two men in Brazil, Ind, lately
signed a contract in blood never to
taste liquor again. Many and many
a devotee at the shrine of free wills.
key has left q record in blood of the
results of his devotion.
A man at Eddyville, Ky, aged 60
/ years, has Just been married to his
seventh wife, who is only %. He has
beel married eight times, having been
married twice to his sixth wife, owing
to a mistake made by the clerk who
issued the license.
A gentleman at Lancaster, Pa, has
a horse that takes his children tC
| school in the morning, returning for
them in the same way, rubbing his
nose against the window pane to in
dictate his presence. He is ahead o.
"Mary's little lamb" -.
Here's your invaders" shouted
a member of the Eleventh Mississippi
Regiment, as Gen. Lees veteran srmy
plunged into the Potomac, OH its way
to Gettysburg And here's your
wetter'uns," echoed a gallant soldier
of the old Fourth Alabama.
A raw countryman, gazing at q gar
den in the vicinity of Boston. in which
were several marble statues, eXclaim
| ed /: tJust see what a waste Here's
no less than six scare crows in this
ten foot patch, and any n Of them
would keep the crows from a five acre
lot!"
As DR.. Dwight once passed thro.
a region of very poor land, he said to
a farmer, ''Sir, I see your land here
is not very prOductive.p mo SIR
said the honest farmer, sour land il
just like self-righteOusness." "HoW
is that? I" "Why the more a man ha:
Of it the poorer he is"
The New York Commercial Adter'
tiser answer a correspondence En-
glishman" thus: NO; the inhabi'
tants of Buffalo ere not all ouadru-
peds. Many of them have but two
legs, and frequently find even thai
number more than they a conve'
niently manage.
When a man thinks that nobody
cares for him, and that he is alone in
a cold and selfish world, he would dc
we'll tn ask himsalf what he has dnne