Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-02-27

vou know that, my sons' "Why, sir, in
;he 18th verse of the 9th chapter OF Ro-
mans he saws: For reckon None DIT
Yankees say reckon.
THr natron of cheap eating house
who complained that they gave only one
notato with his meat, whereas they form
erlv rave him two, was Modified by the
walters explanation that the last lot OF
notatoes they purchased was so bad that
no gentleman could eat more than one OF
them.
A SOCIETY for the suppression OF slang
has been formed among the pupils OF tue
pirl's high school of San Francisco. SAID
a reporter to one of it's members: - our
object is praiseworthy one. DO you
think you will succeed in graduating
conversational slang?" Said she: You
beti''
AMERICAN oysters, relaid and fattened
in English beds, are advertised in Lon
don papers to be sold at one shilling q
dozen, s'delivered free on rail for any
part of the Kingdom, with an oyster
knife and receipts for cooking IN the de-
licous ways known IN America, added
gratis"
IN San Francisco court, the other
day, a little dialogue ran thus: Counsel
to Witness-''Y say you were at his
house every night?" Eyes, SIR" "Were
YOU his partner?'' "No, sir" "Any rel
alive Of hisy" "No." '"What were you
doing at his house every night?" II was
sparkling his wife's sister,"
A GERMAN peddler is the innocent au-
thor of problem of which we beg the
solution. He was asked if it was not
heavy work carrying big pack around
day after day. ooh, yes" he replied, cit
vas heavy.h ''Wel," said the querist,
edo you make much 81 'Vell, I dunno
some days I make nothing, and oder days
twice so much"
Planeth states that when tuning-fork
in vibration is brought near flame, a
loud tone is suddenly perceived, which in
the case Of rapidly burning gas-fame
is quite as loud as that produced by plac-
ing the foot Of the fork upon a sounding
board. The loudest tone is produced by
bringing the flame between the prongs Of
the vibrating fork.-Scribner's N.nth}y.
JONES had worried Smith with conun-
drums very often. and now it was Smith s
turn. "Guess what | did last night -
said Smith. Jones thought of sundry
improbable things, and suggested the
making of a speech, the doing Of kind
ness, the getting himself into lookup,
ard finally gave up the conundrum in de-
spair. "Well," said Smith, in a trium
plant tone, II slept"
A CALIFORNIAN claims that the people
of his State are better looking than those
from other parts Of the Union Hear him
This fact is most remarkable with the
young people who have been born here
Their ruddy cheeks are not scorched and
blistered by the ferocious August suns of
the Mississippi Valley; their full round
limbs are not shriveled and shrunken by
the savage frosts of the northwestern
winters, and they grow up in all the
strength and symmetry Of nature IN
abridged. There is probably no place on
this continent where the proportion Of
pretty children is as large as in CalifOr-
MIA"
READING N FARMERS HoM.s-It is
important to have good supply Of books
and papers, ana the latter, counting the
costs and benefits, are best and cheapest
Never admit light and trashy reading to
the freside table, but in addition to the
papers devoted to agriculture, others of a
wider range should be obtained Young
people, and old ones as well, are greatly
influenced by the company they keep,
and good books and papers are the best OF
company. If boys are inclined TO spend
their evenings at the village, try what a
fair number of we'll chosen periodicals
will do in tempting them to remain at
home, for it is pleasure they seek
HE New Haven Press says "Tis
| truly said that there is out one step from
| the sublime to the ridiculous. In a GER
tain meeting house not a thousand miles
hero q xx-SC T1.-
very vehemently on the efficacy of
prayer. Yes said he, though Grim
son SIS scarlet, or black as ebony, you
shall be as white as snow Just then he
burst into fit of laughter, and pointed
10 the door. There, dripping from head
to foot with whitewash, was a colored
gentleman trying to lift a bottomless pail
over his head. The fact was, he had been
| carrying the pail Of whitewash on his
head, and the affinity between color was
so strong that the bottom went up and
the whitewash went through"
| EARLY NEGETABLEs-If seeds are to
be purchased, il will be well to send for
them some time before needed, SO that no
delay may occur. Have box Of proper
size, with good cover, where they may
be securely kept, and each package
| labeled. y hot bed is easily made, and
the advantage OF having supply Of early
| lettuce, radishes, tomatoes, etc, amply
repays for all trouble. But it may not
always be possible to make and care fo1
| one OF more of these, and should only a
| few early plants be wanted, a cheap sub
| stltute for hot-bed can be had by max.
| ing box long enough to reach across the
window, and about four inches deep. the
width being determined by the place.
| Fill with rich garden soil, when it will be
ready to receive the seed. Seeds of an.
nual flowers may be planted in a simila,
way, and when the proper time arrives,
| transferred to the garden. In this way
flowers may be obtained much earlier in
the season than with the usual mode OF
planting the seed in the fiower-beds.
A WRITER in the Rural Home saws,
Cows usually become addicted to kicking
when helters, from being MIXED bV
abusive mixers. I have never seen an
Old COW become kicker unless abused.
Instead of cows being averse to being
MIXED when giving large quantity.
have found it tC be the reverse. When
pasturage is good, and COWS come home
at night with udders distended with milk,
they seem grateful to have it removed.
Milking heifer for the first time REQUIRES
patience, for they will almost invariably
kick. In such case put broad strap
around her body, just in front of the nd
der, and buckle it up moderately tight,
and as soon as she gets quiet (for she NAV
kick around little at tirst) take vour