Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-02-20
Aumuruus department.
BILL ARP ON A BUST.LE.

See here, Mark Antony, if | was you
wouldent take on so about the fashuns. They
don't bother me. It's none of your business
what the women put on or off, so they behave
themselves, and look just as purity as they can.
They are heap better than you or me any
how, whether they behave or not. | wouldent
give one woman for several men no time
would you? Now see him smile and pat that
off foot If women want to wear bussels, let
em wear em. thought that panears was the
best, because they stuck out sideways and was
ent in the way of leanin back when they sat
down; but they know which is the best side to
stick out on, and it's nobody's business but
theirs. They may wear anything they want
to-bussels and hoops and hangovers and
convexes and collapses, whim.diddles and
stickouts and top-knots come down, and any
thing else, so there is woman hid away
somewhere inside of it all. It's all sham
that rubber bussel-there aint no substance
nor backbone in it. I've seen EN- fiat and
seen EN- blowed up. There aint a bit of harm
in EN- /; but never see one on a woman, that
don't want to hit it just hard enough to
make it pop. golly! Wouldent she jump
high and holler? But I'm not going to do
it; no, sir I've got too much respect for
women. Their bussels don't hurt nobody,
and I do despise to see man always pickin
at woman's close. Ifthey didn't wear some
thin to disgise 'em, the men would quit bust
ness when they cum about. Purity women al
ways did wear something to scare the men
away. It's been so forever. During the war
seed one who jest drest as material as life
without any paddin or stuhin, and when she
cum along, the boys laid down and rolled over
and hollered. They warent fit for business
for week. But 1 couldent bear to see em
90 with their faces all tied up like they do in
Turkey. That would mighty nigh kill me-
If I can look into their blessed countenances,
can put up with their fore riggin and hind
riggin and top riggin and all. A good, sweet,
purity face speaks for all the balance of the
craft. I wouldent marry nary girl on earth
till I see her face, and not then, if she didn't
suit me. If the eyes, nose and mouth are
right, mater is an endorser for all the balance
Paint aint nothin- shape is everything. They
cant paint shape nor glance of. the eye.
You may paint house ever so white, but it
don't signify what's inside of it. But when
you see bright roses and poses and blossoms
in the front yard, and vine over the door,
and clean, clear winder glass shining, you
may bet your hat on the balance. You need
ent worry about the bussels nor the back.
Women have been doin that way ever since
old Solomon wrote about 'em. If they do
lean a little as they 60, it's all right. They
can straighten up when necessary. Nospinal
disease about that Them's the very sort that
can lift two bushels of meal without crackin
bone. It's only passing fashion, and will
last-till something else comes along. Natur
made EN- that way, and you can't change it.
The more you try, the more you can't. The
more you abuse their bussels, the more they'll
stick 'em at you-so let 'em alone, say.
They are all the same about fashions, and the
last one would put EN- on if they had their
own way and plenty of money. 1 wish was
jest rich enough to give every lady in the land
string of diamonds and hat full of pearls.
Good gracious! How quick that methodist
discipline would be busted on the jewelry bu-
siness. Well, do like for them to look pur-
ty; and so far as am concerned, if ribbons
and flowers and founces and furs will do it,
it's all right. Some of the birds dress up
mighty fine, and I guess their pride aint
much Of sin, after all. But understand me,
Mark, I don't banker after bussels, though
they do say it makes the incest little shelf for
the arm to rest on in the world when feller
is dancn around with his gal. That's all
right, provided the feler aint a dancin with
my gal. If he is, why he may take her and
keep her-thats all. BILL ARP.