The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1873-08-20

ASNNtabfJ
asked a schoolmarm What was the seed
from whence sprung the tree of the knowledge
of good and evil?" The schoolmarm
answered meekly that she wasn't posted in I
the seed business and the matter was al,
lowed to drop a
Sir Walter scotts faithful servant, Tom,
said to him one day, "Them are fine novels
of yours they are Invaluable to me. When
come home very tired, and take up one of
them, I'm asleep directly"
:, A negro who had learned to read wishing
to give an idea of it to some Of his acquain-
tan6es who had never seen "a book, said
'sReadin is de power OBJ hearin' wild de eyes
! instead OBJ de ears.'' Very good. ~
An Irish paper publishes the following -
ga deaf man named Taft was run down and
killed by passenger train on Tuesday morn
ing. !, He was injured in a similar way year
ago"
Young women should no longer be describ-
ed in law as spinters, for they toll not, neither
do they spin. It's equally certain that Solo
mon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one
of these.
As storm following storm, and wave succeed
ing wave give additional hardness to the shell
that encloses the pearl, so do the storms and
waves of life add additional force to the
character of man.
Biddy to Pat, who is charged with making
disturbance, "Neyer fear, Pat. Sure y'ave
an upright judge to thry ye.n Pat" All,
me darlin' the divil upright judge l want
IT'S one that'll lane little.
An exchange gravely observes that the sui
eide Of a farmer, which itnotices, els singu-
larly strange, insomuch as he has not been in
the habit of doingsuch things"
An Eastern Democratic organ regards it Us
amusing to hear paper like the New York
Tribune talk about the 'moribund Democra-
cy,' when the faction it personifes is on ice to
pfcscub uuUll DuIldl.'t ~
ocoldor than the wind that freezes
Foants that but now in sunshine Played
Is that congealing pain which seizes
The bursting bosom, when betrayed.
In Bengal 1000 persons we killed by
tigers in three years. Tho annual Joss of
cattle by tigers in the same way is S., OOO,O 600
1t is estimated that in 1872, 800, OOO, 600
were spent for bread, $3.50, 900, 600 for tobae
co, and 100000, 600 for Intoxicating drinks.
prudent clergyman, unwilling to accuse
citizenof lying, said he used the truth with
"penrrious frugality. 4
"Well, wife, you can't say ever contract
ed bad habits" No, sir you generally ex-
pand them.' -
Josh Billings says very truly !: " You'd bet
ter not know so much, than to know so many
things that amt So"
Mr.. and Mrs. John Smith win spend the
summer at all the waterng-places. The little
Smiths go with them.
Why should a cook never complain of hot
weather.? Because she is always in cool
and airy culinary place.
= -.@-%-----5
Temptations are enemies outside the castle
seeking entrance. ~t-
Love implies a soaring towards the infinite
and flight into eternity. "a
He that doth public good for .mulatudes,
Finds few are truly grateful
If you cannot please without being false to,
yourself, you had better displease.
IT'S sweet to know there is eye will mark
oureoming, and look brighter when We come
The most violent passions have their inter-
missions vanity alone gives no respite
-
The word impossible . is the mother
tongue Of weakly souls.
Pride is vice which inclines every man to
find it i'll others, and to overlook it in himself.
Stllest streams
Oft water farest meadows; and the bird
That futters least, is longest on the wing
An industrious and vrtuous education of
children is better inheritance for them than
great estate.
The best thing in the world is to take
things as they come-take them easy-and
take good many Of them.
Why is dogs tail a great novelty? BE.
cause no one ever seen it before.