The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1873-02-18

That now it seemed as me- Ter again
The sun would bless the eyes Of men.
: From, "The Land East of the Sum-" By William
Norris. ~ --t ----a - .a-'.-
An urchin having found cartridge tire
other day, rubbed it on the stove to see if it
was good for anything. As his mother knits
left-handed mttens for him now, it is gener-
ally supposed that the cartridge was good
one.
George Washington's clock was sold again
in Philadelphia the other day. George hated
to part with it, but the restaurant business
not being brisk, his saloon and contents were
sold at auction to satisfy his ungrateful cred
itors.
Mrs. Green, Of Easton, Pa, invited her
son Billy to wash the dishes when that young
man wanted to ride down hill on his sled.
So after washing the dishes he capered up
stairs with rope, and Mrs. Green will have
to wash the dishes herself in the future.
A lot of Australian gold, about 1000
pounds, recently coined at the French mint
has proved so brittle as to be unfit for use. 1t
had to be melted over again. The theory is
that antimony or arsenic was present with
the metal.
Host (raally in agony about his polished in
laid foorl-"Hadn't you better come on the
carpet old fellow? Pm so afraid you might
slip, you know" Guest with wooden leg)
20, it's all right old fellow. Thanks |!
Theresa nail at the end, you knowv'-
Punch. r
A nice distinction is drawn by Partisan
paper between sincere suicides and insincere
suicides-the former being those who really
wish to get rid of life, and the latter those
who do violence to thsmselves for the sake
of gaining notoriety.
A youth returning home from a large din
her was so very tired that on getting inside
the outer doors of his paternal vestibule he
concluded to pass the night there. he first
took the precaution of putting his boots OUT
side to be cleaned. He has missed them ever
since.
A colortd opera troupe have played and
sung the ssDoctor Of Alcantara' successfully
in Washington, and colored concert troupe
of students from Hampton Normal and Agri-
cultural Institute of Hampton, Va, are
about to give three concerts of original negro
songs or ''spirituals.'
The man who can't be happy unless his
mother-in-law lives in the same house with
him isn't resident of New York. He lives
in Jersey City. He says she's the only wo-
men who can tackle his wife successfully.
They take up so much time jawing each 9TH
er that he has peaceful life.
The guards in Tarrant, Texas, are playful
fellows. The other day two Of them were
placed in charge of two criminals. They laid
their arms aside and engaged in little game
ofleaping. The prisoners seized the guns,
made the guard stand, mounted their horses,
and, sweetly smiling, waved them adieux.
The high-aiming Donaldson, now at Read
ing, N. Y, says he shall certainly start foI
Europe in his balloon next summer. His bal
loon is to be so feet in diameter, with ca
pacity of $4,000 feet of gas. To construct
it will require $500 square yards of cambric,
and it will be capable of lifting to the re-
quired altitude $3.50 pounds. Passengers
and provisions are to weigh about 5000
pounds.
A reporter of the Poughkeepsie Eagle has
ceased to believe in Darwin. He visited Van
Amburgh's menagerie, which is wintering at
Armenia, N. T., the other day, and while he
was inspecting the lions and tigers, a monkey
of a literary turn of mind seized his notes
and ate them up before his eyes. Nov that
reporter says that he don't think monkeys
have any claim to humanity.
The following conversation between two
clever lawyers was overheard: Chow does
your client like it2" 'sNot overmuch; be-
gins to complain of the expense" ''Mine is
all right; bound to fight it out. Can we
manage to get the jury to disagree again ?"
on'tknow 1--WE must work for it {" you'll get
beat, of course, in the end, but you'll appeal,
of course" "Of course"