St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-10-24
Squibs.

Tastes differ. and IL Partisan dentist
has INDUCED his 10y building in his yard
Il >ummcThnusc made entirely out of
human teeth.
\ New Orleans iuryman was asked
10y the Judge if he ever read the papers.
He replied. YES. Nour honor; but if
You'll let me go this time, I'll never do
80 any more
Scene in court : Judgc-"Have you
anything to offer to the court before
sentence is passed on you?' Prisoner:
No. Judge: had ten dollars, but my
lawyers took that.
Fred" said il Young man. walking
up Cortlamdt steet the other day. after
listening to his wonderful story, "do
Nou know why You are like harp
struck 10y lightning ?" NO" says Fred:
Il give it up "Becausc Il harp struck
10y lightning is IL bi0stcd iyre.'
We heard of chap the other day
who. coming to railroad crossing and
reading the sign, look out for the loco
motive" climbed to the top. and gazing
up the track, wanted to know wherein
thunder the old thing was ?"
is your house Il warm one. land
lord - asked IL gentleman in search of
residence. 1T ought to be- was the
reply: ''the painter gave it two coats
recently.
Josh Billings divided the human race
into three classes Those who think
it i 50. those who think it isn't so, and
those who don't care whether it is so or
not"
Richlaud County. Wis, reioices in the
discovery of what its people believe to
he Il mine of CASTLE soap. If they keep
on those Wcsterners will find rich de
po>it of combs and hair brushes next.
"What'S the matter there. Alice ?
don't fit me at ALL" replied the little
one. And then she enumerated all the
faults of the shoes in set terms, and
reached the climax thus -" "Why,
they don't even squeak when | go out
for walk
QUITE \ DIFFERENCE. ''Who are
You named for, my hoy ~ | asked of II
bright little fellow of seven years.
My father, sir; only have not his
last name
"lIow is that, my boy! | think all
children have their fathers last names,
if no other"
"Oh. but nave not. My fathers
name is Edward Marsh Frazer Senior,
md mine is Edward Marsh Frazer
Junior.
Molly Strong. of Newton, Mich, dug
4 well forty feet deep last summer, and
received one hundred and thirty dollars
from her father therefor. She received
numerous offers of marriage from young
farmers Just after her job was complet-
ed, hut refused them all, declaring she
would marry no man who wanted her
just because she could work like
horse.
\ lady who had received a severe
bite on her arm from Il dog went to DR..
Ahernethy, but hearing of his aversion
to hear the statement oi particulars, she
merely uncovered the injured part and
held it before him in silence After ex-
rmining it he said, in an inquiring tone,
scratch p Bite" said the lady.
Cat - inquired the doctor. Dog"
rcioncd the lady. So delighted was
The doctor with the brevity and prompt
ness of the lady's answers that he ex-
claimed, 'Iounds, madam, YOU are the
most sensible woman have met in all
my life.
Don't he atraidc, yung man, few
make hlunder once in a while; not
Ill the hlunders are made by the sin
ccre and honest. | must respekt thOze,
suppose, who never make emmy blum
dcrs. but don't luv them. | like them
kinds of pholks who, if they do once in
Il while weigh out a pound with only
thirteen ounces in it, are just It's apt to
make the next pound weigh nineteen
ounces. | love my phailings. 1t il
thee that make me phecl that have
that touch oV nature in me that makes
me brother to every man living.-JoSh
Billings.
''DONE INTO CHINEsE."-A popular
school hN mn, has been translated into
Chinese for the benefit of whom it NAV
concern. Its commencement goes thus
Wear mar chingalong
Mar chin.along.'
Young lady, to IL beau of whose COM
pany she Is getting tired-'.I hope YOU
are not nervous, because that clock has
Il queer effect on people. All my gen
tleman acquaint;nceS start when it
strikes ten and it's just going to strike
so II you are nervous perhaps you had
better go home before it begins" He
went.