The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1873-01-17

"Eh, N.Y." said the servant, opening
her mouth wide, "and what might you
want Mr.. Cousins key for?'
Just IA stupid as you, you see. was
mad with the girl. | own L always get
out of temper with those Yorkshire peo-
pie. If you ask 'em the simplest ques-
ton, first they open their mouths and
cape Mt You. When you've repeated the
question twice they shut their mouths
and think for bit. Then the idea seems
to reach the thing that does duty with
'em for brains, and eXcites n sort OF
reflex action, for, by jingo instead of
answering your question, they go and
ask y0u one. And that makes me so
mad. Oh, they're very dense race,
those Yorkshire people.
"Why to open the safe, you stupid,
said /. Where is he %
Don't We know?" says she.
know cried in "a rage. What
should | ask you for, if | did know p
Didn't thou know he were mt thai
house?"
All SO he was. I'd nearly forgotten
that he was one of the guests at my
wife's party. Clearly, | couldn't get the
safe open, and / didn't like to leave the
money in my desk, so | put it i'll my
pocket and took it home, thinking I'd
give it to Cousins with my key, to put it
in the safe when he returned.
A nice mess | got into when | reached
home for you see it had been arranged
that | was to go upstairs and dress
before anybody came; and that then
our room was TO be made ready for
the ladies to take their bonnets off-for
they were not all carriage people. Well,
You never saw such q thing When l
got home and crept upstairs to dress
the people had all come, SO the servant
said-there were six mutls and four bon
nets, and five pork-pie hats, and half-a-
dozen shawls on the bed and one lady
had left her everyday curls hanging over
the looking-glass Upon my word, |
really didn't like to perform my toilet
among all these feminine gear and there
was no lock to the door, and my dress
clothes were all smothered up amongst
these mufls and things. But | got
through pretty well, and had just got one
of my legs into my trousers, when bang
atrop-dop-dop such rattle at the
knocker, and l heard my wife scuttling
away into the hall. They were the
Markbys, our trump-cards, who kept
their own carriage, and everything
grand.
$50 kind of you, my dear !" said my
wife, kissing Mrs. Markby most atiec-
tionately; l could hear the reports where
| stood.
$50 delighted Really, how nicely;
how beautifully you arrange everything
| cant have things SO nice, with al my
servants and -
Run upstairs, dear, do !" said my
wife "you know the room-my room,
right hand at the top of the stairs.
| heard hutter of female wings on
the stairs. What was | to do? If |
could have managed the other leg, |
wouldn't have minded, but | couldn't t.
| hadn't worn those dress-things for
good while, and l don't get any thinner
as l grow older No, for the life of me,
/ couldn't dispose of that other leg Mt
such short notice. What could l do? |
could only rush to the door, and set my
back against it. Did tell you this was
our house-warming party? | think not.
Did tell you our landlord had altered
the house for us, making our bedroom
larger by adding slip that had formed
a separate room? / think not. And yet
l ought to have told you al these cir
cumstances, to enable you to understand
the catastrophe that followed. In "A
word, the door opened outwards. I'd
forgotten that peculiarity-never having
had "A room so constituted beforehand
never will again. The door went open
with a crash, and / bounded backwards
into Mrs. Markby's arms. Smelling
salts and sal volatile, was there ever
such an untoward affair!
The music struck up for the dances as
| hoped back into my room. L hid my
headamong the holsters and muils, and
almost cried for I'm such n delicate
minded man. Yes, it hurt me good
deal more than it did Mrs. Markby, for,
would YOU believe it?-she told the story
down below to the whole company, with
pantomimic action-and when ! showed
myself ut the door of the drawing-room,
was received with shouts of ineXtinguish-
able laughter.
| think / called the Yorkshire people
dense just now, didn't l? Well, I'll add
another epithet-coarse- and
coarse. | told EN- so; but they only
laughed the more.
The guests were gone, the lights were
out, slumber had just visited my eyes,
when right into my brain, starting me
up as if I'd been shot, came noise,
sort of dull bursting noise. / wasn't
really certain at first whether L had
heard noise or only dreamed of it. |
sat up i'll bed and listened intently. Was
it only my pulse humping into my ears,
or were those regular beats, the tramp
of somebody's muflied feet? Then |
heard an unmistakable sound-creak,
creak, creak-a door being opened slow
ly and cautiously. All in moment the
idea flashed into my head-t,Centy-tICO
Thousand pounds. You see, all this
dancing and iunketing, and laughing
and chatting had completely driven out
of my mind all thought of the large sum
L had in my possession. / had left it III
IA great-coat pocket, which was hanging
up i'll the hail. downstairs.
Puff! gust of wind came through the
house, rafting the doors and windows;
and then / heard door slam, and foot
step outside of some one stealing eau
tiously away.
Away down stairs / went like mad
man my one thOuOht To mt nv hand on