The Portland daily press., 1873-06-26
From the Utica On. W Herald.
Our Visitor.

He came in with an interrogation point in
one eye, and a stick in one hand. One eve
was covered with handkerchief and one
arm in sling. His bearing was that of a
man with settled purpose in view.
81 want TO see," said he, ''the man that
puts things into this paper.''
We intimated that several of us earned a
frugal livelihood in that way.
"Wen, l want to gee the man which cribs
things out of the others papers. The fellow
who writes mostly with shears, you under
stand"
We explained to him that there were sea-
sons when the most gifted among us, driven
to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas and events,
and by the clamorous demands of an insatia-
BILE public, in moments of emotional insanity
plunged the gittering sheais into our ex-
changes. He went off calmly, but in a voice
tremulous with suppressed feeling and indis-
tinct through the recent loss Of halt dozen
or so of his front teeth:
"Just so. / presume so. I don't know
much about this business, but want to see a
man, the man that printed that little piece
about pouring cold water down drunken
mans spine of his back, and making him in
stantly sober. If you please, want to see
that man. would like to talk with him."
Then he leaned his stick against our desk
and spit on his serviceable hand, and re-
sumed hts hold on the stick as though he
was weighing it. After studying the
stick a minute, he added in somewhat
louder tone:
''Mister, 1 came here to see that 'ere man.
want to see him bad"
''We told him that particular man was not
in.
"Just so. presume so. They told me
before come that the man 1 wanted to
see wouldn't be anywhere. I'll wait for
hsv,n II 1sxa rfE H.
miles to converse with that man. guess Pn
sit down adm wait"
He sat down by the door and reflectively
pounded the floor with his stick, but his
feelings would not allow him to keep still.
II suppose none of you didn't ever pour
much cold water down any drunken mans
back to male him instantly sober, per-
haps."
None of us in the office had ever tried the
experiment.
"Just SO. l thought just as like as not you
had not Well, mister, have. / tried it
yesterday, and have come seven miles ON
foot to sect the man that printed that piece.
1t wasn't much of a piece, 1 don't
think; but l want to see the man
that printed it, just a few minutes.
You see, John Smith, he lives next
door to my house, when Pm to home, and
he gets how come-you so every little period.
Now, when he's sober, he's all right if you
keep out of his way; but when he's drunk,
he goes home and breaks dishes, and tips
over the stove, and threws the hardware
around, and makes it inconvenient for his
wife, and sometimes he gets his gun and goes
out calling on his neighbors, and it amt
pleasant"
''Not that want to say anything about
Smith but me and my wife don't think he
ought to do so. He came home drunk, yes
terday, and broke all the kitchen windows
out of his house, and followed his wife
around with the carving knife, talking about
her liver, and after while he lay down by
my fence and went to sleep. had been read
ing that little piece; it want much OF piece
and / thought if could pour some water
down his spine, on his back, and make him
sober, it would be more comfortable for his
wife, and square thing to do all around. So
l poured bucket of spring water down John
Smiths spine OF his back"
''Wel,'' said we, as our visitor paused, 'did
it make him sober?" Our visitor took firm
er hold of his stick and replied with increased
emotion:
"Just so. suppose it did make him as
sober as Judge in less time than you could
say Jack Robinson; but, mister, it made him
mad 1t made him the maddest man / ever
saw, and Mister John Smith is bigger man
than me and stouter. He is a good deal stout
er. Bla-bless him, 1 never knew he was
half so stout till yesterday, and he's handy
with his fists, too. l should suppose he's the
handiest man with his fists ever saw.o
''Then he went for you, did hep" we asked
innocently.
Just so. Exactly. suppose he went for
me about the best he knew, but don't hold
no grudge against John Smith. I suppose he
amt good man to hold grudge against, on
ly I want to see that man what printed that