The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1873-07-24
MISCELLANEOUS.

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Miscellaneous.
American female newspaper report
ers are now found in all parts Of the
world. Sixteen went to the Vienna Ex-
position.
The English uncrimped and unfrizzed
style Of wearing the hair 10 again coming
into vogue. 1t is classical sensible, and
not false.
Pet poodle dogs have bathing dresses
now. Their hair would get out Of curl if
they were allowed to enter the surf un-
draped.
Sidney Smith once rebuked a swear
ing visitor by saying, "Let us assume that
everything and everybody are damned,
and proceed with our subject"
Some of the ambisexual colleges,
this year, are bestOwing the degree M g."
Maid of Science. And the bachelors
ditto sing: Maids of science, ere we part,
give, oh, give us back our hearts!
--Conundrum from the Chicago Tribune
-"Why is it that lightning never strikes
an organ grinder, that they never fall into
the river and get drowned, that they never
starve to death, and are never bitten by
mad dogs?"
Every adult carries enough phosphor-
us in his body to make 1000 of the two
cent packages of matches, but he does not
have sulphur enough to complete that
quantity of the incendiary combustibles
The phosphorus exists in the bones and
brain.
The bonnet of the period is a minia-
ture kitchen garden. 1t is decorated with
cherries, grapes, blackbcrries, little car
rots, bits of parsley, long pale green beans,
sorrcl, marjorum and other vegetables ia
miliar to professors of the culinary
science.
And now scientists claim that the
moon, instead of being so "cold, and
chaste, and pallid," is in reality red hot
so much SO that no living thing known to
our world can live on there. This also
knocks the green cheese theory.
One of the famous divorce LAWYERS of
New York, in his advertisement in the
city papers, says: "Hymeneal incompati-
bilities as a specially delicately adjusted.
Ills slavery to detain the hand after the
heart hath fled.''
In Calcutta, recently, on examining a
ship lying in dry-dock, it was found that
sword OF q swOrd-fsh was imbcdded in
her bottom, near the keel. 1t had pene.
tratcd the solid timbers to depth of tn ir.
teen inches, and had evidently been
broken off by the shock.
The Albany Express is responsible
tor the story of a four-and-a-half feet fel-
low who courted six-feet girl in that
city and was laughed at so much by PEG.
pie when he was out promenading that he
finally made up his mind to desert the
fair one, and told her so. She promptly
seized the little fellow, placed him over
her knee, and administered powerful
parental castigation. The police were at.
tracted by the noise, and arrested the
young woman.
"A wife OF nearly ten years, having
given her servant a holiday, was attend.
ing to culinary matters herself, and hear.
ing her husband coming in the kitchen,
thought she would surprise him as soon
as he entered the door by throwing heI
hands over his eyes and imprinting kiss
on his brow, as in the days of the honey
moon. The husband returned the salute
with interest, and asked, as he disengaged
her hands, "Mary darling, where is youl
mistress ?" The wife discharged "Mary
darling" the next day, and has adopted .
new plan of surprising" her husband.
by nerve and enterprise,
And they who live must have the pluck
10 risk and advertise.
There arc men in our town
Who do not advertise:
Good customers go past their doors,
The CHEEKY cash likewise.
And when they post their books at night,
They're the saddest men in town,
And ever and anon they moan:
The place Is going DOWN.
In q paper on "Tea considered as a
Cause of National Decentralization. .
Matthew Browne invites the attention OF
pathologists, psychologists, reformers and
Legislators, to this great question
while we have been turning our ewes. ,
he says, upon the more obvious and
vulgar evils attendant upon the free use
of alcohol, we have been overlooking the
insidious action of bland and peaceful
liquid which has been sapping the foun
dation of manhood and honesty. Alcohol
sends few to Jail, or to the mad house
But tea acts, throug Oh the nervous system
upon the conscience, and turns us into q
nation of sneak"
"A very touching case of mental alien
alton in charming young lady is de-
scribed by careful observer Not long
ago her mother found her in her room en-.
ergetically darning stockings, and soon
after she appeared in the kitchen and as
sisted that wondering dame in making
and baking bread and pastry. Alarmed
by these fearful signs of intellectual dis
order, her fond parents Immediately sent
tor skillful physician, who watched her
through keyhole while she sewed but
tons on her fathers garments and mended
those of her little brother. Much affect
ed, the venerable man remarked that never
during medical practice of twenty-five
years had he known any young person to
manifest such symptoms as these. The
most heartrending phase of all, however,
was shown the other day, when her kind
father, with faint hope of rousing her
from her sad state, gave her $500 and told
her to buy new dress. Alas! twas use
less. She instantly observed that she
didn't need new dress, and if he would
let her keep $95 to pay poor widows
rent She much rather he would take the
moments that grief-stricken old gentleman
gazcd upon his hapless child, then hiding
his face, muttcred between his sObs. "Her
mind is gone! Her mind is gone!'- Ne,c
York Tribune.
Trials of an Honest Legislator.
"The Man in the Gallery" writes to the
Albany Times:
A gentleman who now occupies seat
in the upper branch, but at the time was
. member of the Assembly, relates the
following:
Perkins was as honest man as ever
set foot in Albany. Money wouldn't
buy him, and | knew it, but / thought
would have little fun with him: SO I
went down to his room one evening and
said, perkins, what do you think of the