The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1873-08-27
SCRAPS.

Motto of the bread-bakers-Fiat
Lux Let it be light.)
Secret service in Washington
Secreting the money.
The meanest of imposters-the
man who imposes his presence
> upon you.
Worth makes the man has been
changed to Worth makes the wo-
lnan.
The five Oldest living graduates
of Harvard College arc lawyers.
The drum major in a band is
pretty hard to get along with; but
think of the rum major!
The dog catchers are known as
scanine undertakers," in Milwau-
kee.
"Good blood will show itself"
as the old lady with the red nose
said.
Why twit man with being son
his last legs" when they are the
only ones he's got?
The most demoralized man in
the world-The man who morali-
zes and does nothing else,
Whenever you hear of "sound
platform, you can bet your bot
tom dollar that it is hollow one.
Hence the sound.
An onion divided in two and
one half placed on each eye is
vouched for as an efect4al remedy
against droWsiness,
Five women have applied for
seats in the Graphic balloon. Fonr
of them had husbands who were
anxious for them to go up,
We have often noticed that peo-
pie who visit restaurants get more
restauratiou when they come out
than they obtain while there.
At a coroner's inquest a witness
was asked, "What was the last
thing seen by the deceased?"
kerosene" was the reply.
A Cincinnati brewers wife pa
pered her trunk with his keg
stamps and he is in Jail for the way
he took on about it,
Liquor-selling on Sunday has
been prohibited by ordinance, in
Cleveland, which went into effect
last Sunday, which caused much
Speaking Of rusty back door hinges.
A Troy man tried moral suasion
to keep the boys from stealing his
cherries, but while he was tender
ly talking to one, the other four
stole his hog.
He that will not permit his
wealth to do any good to others
while he lives, prevents it from
doing any good to himself when he
is dead.
If you can not inspire a woman
with love of you, fill her above the
brim with love of herself; all that
runs over will be yours,
If your errand boy takes an un-
usually long time tasbring your
mail from the PostsSmice, don't
reprove him for being slow until
you find out how many postal
cards he has had to read,
A political orator, speaking of a
certain General whom he admired,
said be was always on the field Of
battle where the bullets were
thickcst. "Where was that?' TN
the ammunition wagon
An old mans advice to a young
man is, don't love two girls at once.
Love is good thing, but it is like
butter in warm wieather-it won't
do to have too much on hand at
one time.
Two ministerial candidates for
vacant pulpit named Adam and
Low, having to preach on the same
Sunday. Low, who preached in
the morning, took for his text,
"Adam, where art thou % In the
evening Adam gave his return shot
by selecting for his text, "Lo, here
am l."
A Pennsylvania preachep return
ed thanks, lately, for the prosperous
condition of the crops, but carefully
put in, Excepting, O Lord, the
corn, which is backward, and the
oats, which are mighty thin in
spots.'
An impulsive young man in
Waterbury, Conn, sent his girl the
piece of sheet music entitled 81
will meet you at the Beautiful
Gate" Her father saw the piece
when she opened the package, and
after doubling bucketful OF tar
over his gate, quietly remarked to
his daughter, "He can wait for you
if he wants to, but you won't eth
or Of you swing on that gate if tar
Will keep yon Off" That young