Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1873-07-24
Anmuruus department.
ONLY OBEYING ORDERS.

cordance with his fathers wishes. He would
not hold pen behind his ear, nor perch him
self upon a stool poring over book in the
office, nor did he exhibit any of the qualifca-
tions for successful bull or bear upon the
stock market The father lost confidence in
the son, and so strong became his dissatisfac
ton that he eventually ostracised him. He
was allowed to labor and shift for his own
means of support. He became conductor
upon his fathers railway, (the New York
Central.) Mr.. Richmond told him that the
least infracton of the rules Of the company
would insure his immediate removal, and es-
pecially was he warned against allowing any
person, whether friend or not, to ride without
showing ticket or pass, or paying the ne
cessary fare. He had been employed in this
capacity for some time, and there had been no
complaints, when, one day, Dean Richmond
himself, became passenger upon his sons
train. The conductor came to the old rail-
way magnate, when the following dialogue
occurred:
"Ticket, sir"
Ticket? Get out am the President of
this road. don't buy tickets"
"That makes no difference. It's against
orders for me to allow anybody to ride with
out he pays his fare, presents aticket orshows
pass. Come, hurry up"
"Well, sir, you know who | am, and you
know that I am entitled to ride on this road
free could make out pass but haven't
any blanks. You 60 on. 1t is all right"
"See here, old gentleman, it makes no diff
ference who you are; give me ticket, show
70 not off traI
"Humph Young man you are getting
mighty arbitrary. If you don't 60 on about
your business I will have you discharged"
The young conductor made no reply, but
gave a vigorous pull upon the bell rope. As
the train checked its speed, and the father
saw that he was about to be treated like any
other passenger, and was really liable to be
set down beside the track midway between
the stations, he pulled out his wallet and paid
his fare. This little episode gave him new
insight into his sons character, and he forth
with commenced casting about for some bus-
ness occupation for him.
ANEcDoTE OF GREELEY.-The following
anecdote is related of Mr.. Greeley, who is
well known to have been, throughout life a
staunch advocate Of temperance. Through
all the campaign he sat at public dinners and
suppers where wine and spirits flowed freely,
but he never passed the bottle or touched the
liquor himself The walters, who knew his
temperance principles, were generally puzzled
what to do when they came to the row of
glasses fronting his plate, as they fronted all
others. Usually they were directed by look
or gesture of the master of ceremonies to pass
him by in silence, but on one occasion an
Irish waiter would not abide such an apparent
breach Of hospitality.
Hadn't ye betther take something, sir, to
get up an appetite, like, after your long ride,
sr?" the hospitable Hibernian whispered to
the startled sage. "a little brandy y-and-water
now, would do you good-it would upon me
soul, sir.
The heartiness of the appeal touched the
philosopher. He recognized the ring of true
hospitality in its tones, and his heart relented
at the idea of depressing such sterling virtue
by a continued refusal.
"Brandy-and-w -water?" said he. "Well, Pat,
III take half of that to oblige you. Give me
water and let some one else have the brandy
"YoU ARE BRIcK."-A certain college
professor had assembled his class at the COM
mencement of the term, and was reading over
the list of names to see if all were present. 1t
chanced that one of the number was unknown
to the professor, having just entered the class.
"What is your name sir? ?" asked the pro-
iessor, looking through his spectacles: .
"Iou are brick, was the startling reply"
"Sir," said the professor, half starting out
of his chair at the supposed impertinence, but
not quite sure that he understood him correct
ly, "sir, did not exactly understand you.
"You are brick" was the composed reply.
"'That is intolerable," said the professor his
face reddening. beware young man how
you attempt to insult me-"
"Insult you!" said the student, in turn as
tonished. "How have done it?".
"Did you not say I was brick p returned
the professor, with stifed indignation.
"No, sir, you asked me my name, and | an
swered your question. My name is y. r. A.
Brick-Uriah Reynold Anderson Brick"
"Ah, indeed" murmured the professor sink
ing back into his seat in confusion. "It was
misconception on my part. Will you COM
mence the lesson. Mr.-ahem MIR. Brick p
nss- A good story is told of old Johnny
McGill, who resided during the war in East
Tennessee. Guerrillas, representing both par
ties, kept it so warm in that forsaken region,
that it was dangerous to belong to either side.
McGill had in trying to ride both horses, got
several black jackings, first from the rebels
and then from the Yankees. AS guerrillas
dressed alike he made several mistakes in try
ing to pass for either Union or Southern, as
he thought would suit the crowd. At last he
he was overtaken by party whose politics he
could not even guess at, and the following
opened:
"Sir, are you Union man."
"No sir" replied McGill.
care you rebel, then ?"
"No sir"
"Then what in the devils name are you, {"
roared the captain.
"Well, SIR hestated McGill, "to tell the
honest truth, m-nothing-and but blasted
little of that"
WOULD SELL.-An exchange tells the fol-
lowing story:
"Buy any butter here?" said country
customer who walked into dry goods store
in a certain city, and looked much like a
character who knew great deal more of him.
self than he cared to tell.
"No sir" replied the merchant, eve don't
wish to buy any"
"Want to buy any eggs?"
"No sir; we keep dry goods store here"
$50! Wal, then, may be- you'd like to buy
some chickens as pigs, and mighty sight
nicer tew."
mo sir I tell you we don't deal in any
tbinp hut drv poOds'