The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1873-02-20
GENERAL ITEMS.
THE nick of time-Wrinkles.
VOICE of the night-S'cat.


The real yellow fever-Greed for gold
NOTHING is so hard but search will fine
it out.
SOMETHING that doesn't mind pinchinp
Snuff
SOCIETY, makes kings or beggars, but
nature makes men.
The eight wealthiest men in New Or.
leans are retired butchers.
TWENTY thousand strangers have visit
ed Florida thus far this season.
IT is said that iron can be made cheaper
in Tennessee than in Pennsylvania.
Love Is an eternal transport" The
same might be said of canal boats.
IT Is estimated that Kansas will add
10000 to her population this year.
FLORIDA has only 400 Indians left, and
isn't particular about keeping those.
PEOPLE who are always wishing for
something new should try neuralgia.
"GREAT is bankruptcy" says CARLYLE
"it brings an end to all shams under the
SUM-"
PRENTICE said thai Daniel was the only
man ever lioniZed without growing vain
about il. NH
CAN civil engineer inform us how it
Is that the mouths OF rivers are larger than
their heads?
WHY is a philanthropist like an old
horse!-Because he always stops at the
sound of woe.
TWENTY-FIVE persons were burned du-
ring 1872, in the city of Brooklyn, by the
use of bad kerosene oil.
You need not tell all the truth unless to
those who have a right to know it all.
But let all you tell be true.
The man who attempted to whistle n
bar OF soap has injured his voice by trying
to sing stave OF molasses cask.
THE tale-bearer and the tale-hearer
should be both hanged up, back to back,
one by the tongue and the other by the
ear.
An editor triumphantly exclaims, "Man
shall not live by bread alone.r and then
aeknowledges the receipt of a jug of sold
SIR, a woman's preaching is like dog
standing on his hinder legs. 1t is not
done well, but you wonder to see it done
at all.-JohnSon.
CALIFORNIA housewives describe soda
as ''that ere stuff which you put in bis
cults to make 'em get up and Grecian
bend themselves"
JOSH BILLINGS says: Yu kant find con-
tentment laid down on the map; it IL an
imaginary place not settled yet; and those
reach it soonest who throw away their
compass and go it blind.
FROM record of the fall of snow, kept
by gentleman who resides in Benton,
Mich, and measured after every snow
fall, the total fall of snow on level thus
far, is not less than ten feet.
NEARLY all the officers of Victor Eman-
uel's household are furnished with Amer
lean wives. A heavy tariff should be
placed upon such expectations, as the
women are needed " out West"
JAMES" said young wife to her hus-
band a few days after marriage, "you
were honest enough to tell me that the
chimney smoked, but why didn't you tell
me that you smoked yourself?"
A PHYSICIAN of Jacksonville, ILL.,. saws
that he has learned by actual and repeated
experiments that electricity, properly ap-
piled, will effect cure in cases of cerebro-
spinal meningitis or spotted fever.
THE boy that recommended few drops
OF panegyric on sugar for the child of dis
quietude has his match in another who,
after successfully spelling "chicanery,"
defined it to be a 'large coop to raise
Chickens
A POET asks, "Where are the dead, the
vanished dead, who trod the earth that
now we tread ?" If we were to make a
random guess, we should say the most of
them are buried-though this may not be
the right answer.
NOTHING makes a shy man feel more
shy than an overdone cordiality. Peo-
ples' manner should show their kind feel
ing, but not puzzle you how to make a
return. A eulOgium by manner is
almost as embarrassing as eulogium by
words.
L HAVE known a vast quantity of nom
sense talked about bad men not looking
you in the face. Don't trust that conven-
tional idea. Dishonesty will stare hon
esty out of countenance any day in the |
week, if there is anything to be got by |
it.-Dickens.
The aged but astute Illinois farmer
keeps no barometer, nor does he put his |
trust in the ground-hog, but he knows
when spring approaches, by seeing his
sons who have arrived at manhood, pre-
pare to leave home, after a winter of |
"sponging'' on the old man.
THE days of superstition are not vet |
over. In the Pennsylvania House of Rep
resentatives, the other day, board of |
thirteen were objected to because it was
an "unlucky number" 1t was changed |
to eleven. The "old original thirteen
States" were pretty good start for the
Republic, Notwithstanding the oddity of |
the number.
Soi pOIdtC anu ClIlZeDS Oh
Philadelphia have already contributed
upward of two million dollars toward the
Centennial Exhibition to be held in that
city in 1876. Congress is expected to
vote an appropriation, and all the States
will contribute. 1t may be interesting to
mention that the expenses of the ViFnna
Exhibition are estimated at seven million
dollars.
A MORE or less worthy Scotch wife was
with by her minister for her
habit of beating her husband. She ex-
planned that her husbands conduct was
not all that it ought to be. The minister,
recommending kindness and forgiveness,
enloined her no more to use her fists and
nails, but to heap Goals of fire upon his
head" "Weel minister" replied the
now enlightened wife, since you say sac,
I'll try the Goals, but l may tell ye that
twa or thrt kettles o. boiling water hae
wrocht nae Improvement"
SOME of the most distinguished clergy
men and scholars of New York have form
ed an organization known as the Oriental
Typographical Corps, the object of which
is to "gain more extensive knowledge
of the places mentioned in Bible history,n
The chief field of operations of the corps ;
will be the valleys of the Nile, Tigris, and
Euphrates, and other Biblical places in ;
Africa, Arabia, and Asia Minor; and they
ire on the point of dispatching an expe-
ltion to the Holy Land. The corps is a
business organization, with a capital of {
i've hundred Thousand dollars.
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