The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1873-08-21

only due to the honesty OF Chicago PEG
pie to say that the valuable package was
mistaken by everybody for an old shirt.
Edmund Munger, speaking Of the time
When he was boy. says it was the GUS
tom of school children as you passed
school-house to make bow but in these
later days, as you pass school-house,
you must keep your eyes peeled, or you
will get SNOWFALL or brickbat at the
side of your head.
The following is said to be on grave
stone near London
s.Poor Martha Shell has gone away
Her would if she could but her couldn't stay ;
Her had bad legs and baddish cough,
1t was her two bad legs that carried her off,
The difficulties of rhyme, which have
been SO far overcome in our quotations,
proved too obstinate for the writer of this
epitaph:
'IIere lies alas mores the pity
All that remains of Nicholas Newcity.
n. Bills name was Newtown.'
Some of the most amusing epltaphs
are in prose. This one is from tomb
stone in Pennsylvania
Battle of Shiloh,
April 6, 1862.
John D. L-was born March %,
1929, in the town of West Dresden, State
of New York, where the wicked cease
from troubling and the weary are at rest. :"
A Baptist paper in Ohio was sent for
nine years to a subscriber who never paid
cent for it. The other day the news
paper was returned to the patient and
long-suffering publisher with the affect
ing pencil note on its margin: "Gone to
better world" The editor is a very
pious man, but it is reported that his
faith is terribly shaken in regard to the
accuracy of the information.
A writer in the FortnigAty Reuie,o for
June sums up Mr.. Fitzjames Stephens
theology in this little story The master
of a workhouse IN Essex was once called
in to act as haplain to dying pauper.
The poor soul family murmured some
hopes of heaven; but this the master abb
ruptly cut short, and warned him to turn
his thoughts towards hell. "And thank
full you ought to be, said he, "that you
have hell to go to-"
The Seymour Times has informa ton
that an old gentleman near Henryville,
in Clarke County, while working in his
w-mill one day last week, stumbled and
fell against running circular saw, which
cut off one OF his hands and the toes of
one of his feet. He says that he felt his
toes being cut off, but not the cutting of
his hand, and did not know that he had
lost his hand until, looking for his lost
toes, he discovered his whole hand lying
on the ground near by them.
Fort Scott, Kansas, has been seeing a
snake in the sky. The Honitor says
''The sky was clear and the sun rose en-
tirely unobscured. When the disk of the
sun was about halfway above the horizon
the form of a huge serpent, apparently
perfect In form, was plainly seen encirc-
ling it, and was visible for some mo-
ments. The editor declares that he
has the statement from two reliable wit
nesses, who are willing TO make affidavit
TO the above. 1t will soon be time for a
national prohibitory liquor law, if this
thing is to cootinue
A minister had a negro in his family.
One Sunday, when he was preaching, he |
happened to look in the pew where the
negro was, and could hardly contain him.
self as he saw the negro, who could not
read OF write word, scribbing away most
After meeting. he said
20 the negro: ''Tom what were you do
ng in the church Pr Taking notes
nassa; all de genmen takes notes."
Bring your notes here and let me see
,hem." Tom brought his notes which
ooked more like Chinese than English.
why, Tom, this is all nonsense. 81
thought so, massa, all the time you was
it. I
The Edinburg Daily Reviev records
IN amusing conversation which took |
place in the galleries of the Free Church
Assembly one day lately: Young lady
There's old DR.. A-going to speak.
Isn't he bore p Old Lady Claughingl
well | suppose he is; but do you
Know rather like him ?" Young Lady
81 can't bear him." Old Lady latter
some time)-"Who is that nice old gen.
leman speaking?" Young Lady-'.Ah,
hats Mr.. B. of c. Old LADY
Observation-Disclosures you think he is
rather prosy? Young Lady (indig-
indeed, do not. ALLOW
ne to inform you that that is my father
Did Lady-"Oh, indeed. Then I am
Had that / hit the mark SO gently, be-
,ause "Old DIR. A is my husband.
So | suppose we have both got lesson, |
ny dear; don't you think so pr