The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1873-11-21
THE PRES
FRIDAY MORNING.. NOV. 2,. 1878
Gossip and Gleanings.

An accomplished barkeeper in New Or
leans mixes drinks in six different languages.
Wanted, by a strong German, situation
in an eating house. He understands the
business
'"That's capital 1, DEAR" was what the
schoolmistress told the inquirng alphabet
scholar.
Precept of domestic philosophy-Never
keep anything from your better half. 1t will
save her the trouble of finding out from your
neighbor's wife.
Mr.. Tilton's novel has to do with the sea !;
and Mr.. Tilton writes whereof he knows.
since he has been dreadfully at sea himself for
some months back.
The explosion of kerosene lamp recently
restored to speech married woman in Kan
sas who had been speechless several months.
When will people learn to be careful?
Chicago wants to have the "next worlds
fair" 1t depends on which "next world it
refers to. whether it will be possible to crafty
its ambition in this respect.
Serraph'nnis is a Rus ian monk who has
founded society to which women are ad-
mitted on condition that they cut off their
hair. The beautiful appropriateness OF this
will be perceived when it is stated that his
brother is an enterprising hair merchant.
Kansas bighwaymen have been almost
ruined this year by their time-honored Gus
tom of giving five dollars to any victim who
proves to be impecunious. 1t is reported
that they have resolved to operate on hall
time during the winter.
Going out between the acts at the theatre
to get drink has its dangers. 1t proved IA
tai to two men in San Francisco on Saturday
night One of then was taken sick after
drinking and died, and the other shot himself
lest he should be accused of poisoning h s
friend.
A courle who registered themselves the
otter dav at Chicago hotel as ''George
Lord aud Lady, Stewartvile, New York,
left a b,by behi d them when they lad thei
bill The landlord being childle,s conclude,
to accept the offering of the Lord, and adop.
ed the founding.
DR.. Hopkins-"What does your enjoyment
of witty man depend upon?" Student
ut is in proportion to his wit" DR.. H.
''Supposing ne is good man?' Student
sit is in proportion TO his goodness" DR.. H.
''Well, supposing he kno,cs great deal 9''
Student-"In proportion to his nose'
(Class howl
We'd credit the following good thing if we
knew to whom the credit is due: ''The
drummers came down like wolves on the
fold; their toes were all frosted, their noses
all cod. The weather-peeled bugles soon
shcne through the town; they gobbled the
money and salted it down; then took few
orders and lit out of here, with their heads
full of business and skins full of beer.'
While on the Peninsula during the war, an
officer came across private belonging to OIL e
OF the most predatory companies of the Irish
Brigade, with the lifeless bodies of COOS e
and hen, tied together by the legs, dangling
from his musket. "Where did you steal
those, you rascal?'' ''Fai.h, was marching
along with Co!or-Sergeant Mcguire, and the
goose-bad cess to it!-came out and hissed
the American fag" ''But the hen, sirr hew
about the hen?" 'The hin. bless We, was in
bad company, and laying eggs for the ribbels."
An old bachelor who raises hogs and lives
alone near the Golden Gate Park, San Fran
cisco, fell into his well the other day. A.
though not much hurt he could not get out,
and ne shouted in vain without obtaining
assistance. The nsxt morning the carrier
who lett his paper thought he heard cal, but
did not wait to investigate it, and it was not
until he had returned the following
morning that the prisoner was found
and rescued, very much exhausted, but
not beyond recovery. A twofnld lesson sug-
gests itself-the danger Of living bachelor
life, land the wisdom of taking newspaper.