The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-05-24
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

old couplet which says 81 never had dear
gaelic, etc.;
",Twas ever thus; from childhood's hour
I've seen my fondest hopes take flight
Inever held larboard bower
But some one took II with inc right. I'll
TO give that fellow just rebuk",
Wed take his right" with the "Grand Duke"
The South Bend U,sion says some OF our in
genius dairy men is training flock OF swallows
to skim his milk "-EI
When boy, we had pretty good sralo,c for
milk
The two Peak families both of which perform
ed in this city recently, have OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
tirel, Qowa)
Those Peaks should be round pretty soon.
Nothing makes an Illinois man so mad as to
fiji his boots with buckwheat cakes with the ia"
and then laugh at him when nc pnts mem thI. On.
soon us the swelling in her nose subsidies suili
GENTLY to enable her to read.-Er
What allied her nose? Did she get some raw
cake on il?
yeracious writer in the State Register tells
the story of a man who, after the extraction OF a
tooth which had long tormentcd him, discovered
on breaking it open tina. it was tcnanted by SIX
legged bug.
A widow in Dorchester Mass. has been three
times married. Her first husband was Robb, the
second Robbins, and the third Robinson. The
same door-plate has served for the whole three,
and the question now is what EXTENDED name
can be procured to fill out the remaining space
on IT,
Put Robinson's widow on IT. of course.
An Ohio editor who has a grudge against him
SELF eases his mind thusly:
When a Columbus, Ohio, minister desires to
awaken his audience, and secure their individual
attention he Wells "kenow through fish horn.
As the vibration Of his tones die away there ire
auently comes from the chancel the echoing
sound, correct" Most Of the State Senators
and Representatives attend this pastors church
A young lady teacher of a Milwaukee Sunday
school recently narrated the Crucihxion TO her
class Of ttlo boys, and when she had thought
she had fairly engaged their minds. was surprised
with Bet you they wouldn't done IL II buhaio
Bilrd been therc."-E1.
That boy will make muscular christian.
A father and two sons a few years ago, married
three sisters in Iowa. The undutiful sons have
driven their unhappy parent to the verge Of in.
sanity by trying to explain the relationship oil
their childrcn.-Ef.
There should be no ttoublc about ii, unless
there be some doubt as to who are the parents of
the children.
Here is a statement that We freely endorse. 1t
seems TO be correct on it's face
A Frcnchman from County Kerry says that
Kerosene is useful, but he prefers the good old
lmmerald He 10 any OF them.
Au exchange says:
At spit meeting the other night, gentleman
requested the medium to ask what amusemcnts ,
were most popular in the spirit world. The re-
,lK Ny.ns IN n n 81 " m
The Nashville Union and american says:
This paper took great pride in publishing to !
lie world, three months since, the gratifying fact
that the ladies Of one Of our churches had plcdg
ed themselves to discountenancc extravaganza
and folly, by appearing az church in the future 4
in calico dresses. We are now enabled to report
that the commendable resolve IL carried into
effect, one lady member II that church having
made her appearance at divine worship attired in
, calico dress, which cost, with all its frills
lounccs frizzes, folds, frumpes, fringes, txings,
and iilagrec work, only $3.50.
An Indiana man is naming his children after c
The New England States. He now has Maine, d
New Hampshire, Vcrmort, Massachusetts, and
Rhode Island, with flat,ering prospect Of Con =
nccticut.-Er. c
Does he propose to - through the entire T
union in this absurd maurerS
There is nothing like 7arcty The Kokomo
Tribune has me following; ,
The churches were well filed on Sunday and I
SO were the croquet grounds The voice Of the S
minister and singers blended swee,y with the q
whack of the balls. 7
MIR. Gmgle, a butcher Of Princeton, Wis. hung ,
his rifle from the ceiling, muzzle downward, the
other day, extended himself on the bed beneath
and in the range OF the weapon and then worried
th3 thing oil with q stick. The bullet went +
through him bcautfuliy-ET a
Did it Kill him? I
a call has been issued Tor convention Of poker
players, TO assemble at Chicago in May next, to
devise "hand' that will Beat four acses."-Er.
Whynot try the hand Of lustice'
Every abc-bodicd mar oetwecn q and 80 years
Except paupers, idiots EDITORS and lunatics)
shall be required to abO- on the roads in their
respective DISTRICTS not ess than one nor more
than three days in each year.
legislature that wo-,d class editors with ,
paupcrs and lunatcs, il it means Vi, deserves our
1of;icst scorn; il il means certain radical editors,
1hcn we take back our scon.
Tie following sarcasm, lone, is worth 81 per
year in advance, the price u this paper:
Two idealstc youths. Immersed in sentimental
thoughts and sickied DER with the pale cast OF
poetry, were walking past house the other day, |
and espicd young lady acquaintance in bay
window, taking draughts Of the balmy April air
You look said the gioDmiegt OF the poetical
Aud | am like hcr,n she replied, for am look.
In athwart the giaomy Eats" They only said
their lives were weary, Sc, and passed sadly
along.
II Is said that Waukcgan ladies propose hore
after to select their husbands by competitive ex-
animation; and that the Aurora ladies talk OF
following their cNa'np'c.-Auroro Herald.