The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-03-13
OUR CHI P-BASKET
Words that burn-fre and blazes.

| iOorhiiiSi'
Be temperate in diet; our first parents ate
themselves out of house and home
A country editor reports money close, but
not close enough to be reached.
What is that which has its head at one
end and its mouth at the other? A river.
The man,who tried to sweetcn his tea with
one of his wife's smiles, has ''fallen. back on
sugar"
No person should sleep alone in cold wea.
ther except widows. The bible hath said
the "widow's mite"
A young lady of 16 who had worn short
dresses, positively told her mother ahe would
wear them no longer. ,.9
A librarian, arranging his books accord
ing to their subject matter, put "Irish bulls"
under the head of agricultural.
In Detroit if you ask grocer for burn
ing fluid he hands you bottle of old rye
neatly labelled and ready for use. .
A Dutch lady in Ohio, writes over the
signature of Wilhelmina Juletta Charlotte
Apolloblunderruber uberblesthenthunger
81 came near selling my boots the other
day." said John to friend How sol"
"Well, l had them halfsoled." =
A young man at party one evening being
asked if he could play the harpsicord, want.
ed to know if it was anything like seyen-up.
Mrs Snidkins says her husband is three
haneed man-right hand, left hand, and
little behind hand
A Kentucky grocer has over his stall this
impressive moral injunction: "Any man or
boy that takes one APPEL without Leafe is
little rogue in his harte" ,...
We are told that "the evening wore on"
but We are not told what she wore on that
occasion. Was it the ''clothes" of summers
day?
II hate to hear people talking behind
ones back" as the robber said when the con-
stable was chasing him and crying, "Stop
thiefv'. ct
An Alabama editor has found new pre-
MUM to offer to subscribers. He will name
his new boy for the patron who pays for his
subscription the longest time in advance.
| A merchant in Topeka recently lost $3.50
in cash. As his wife and one of his clerks
have not been seen since, he is apprehensise
that they were murdered for his money.
In the mountainous districts in the ex-
treme east Of Hungary, at this season of the
year, fair is held of the marriageble young
men and women.
An enthusiastic Nebraska editor says,
"Nine months of the year in Nebraska is
summer, and the rest is mighty late in the
spring"
A milwaukee,. lady had several hundred
dollars worth of point lace clipped off her
clothing by thief while she was at church
singing Strip me Of the robe Of pride;
clothe me in humility
There have been many definitions of
gentleman, but the prettiest and most pa
thetic is that given by young lady. "a
gentleman" says she, is human being
combining woman's tenderness with q wo-
mnn's courage"
A Chicago editor, upon learning that
New York sewing women only get four cents
for making pair of pants, wrote half
column editorial ON the meanness of man, and
offered to pay five cents rather than to SEQ
the women suffer.
A dentist not a thousand miles from Bris-
tol, Conn, was recently extracting tooth
from a young man under the influence of
laughing gas when he (the young man) sud,
denly became uncomfortable, and, jumping
from the chair, ran with full speed down the
street. the dentist calling at the top of his
voice, "Stop him he's full of gasp
Nothing makes Minnesota husband SO
mad as to gil his boots with buckwheat cakes
in the raw, and then laugh at him when he
pulls them on Mrs. Smith of Whoa, will
indorse this statement as soon as the swell
ing on her nose subsded sufficiently to en-
able her to read.
A Hartford subscriber writes that he is
Just recovering from smallpox, and will be
on in a few days to renew his subscription.
We hope he won't mind little thing like
that. We will send the paper and wait for
the mony We will wait chserfully. We
amt of that avaricious kind Of people who
will grab for money as fforlife: Wedespise
such things There's no earthly reason for
his coming on; we will wait.-Dan6uy
News
Josh Billings was asked, How fast does
sound travel? His idea is that it depends a
good deal upon the noise you are talking
about. "The sound ola dinner-horn, for in
stance, travels half mile in second, while
an invstashnn tew git up in the morning l
have known to be ) quarters Nv an hour
roin' y pair of stairs, and then not hev
strength enuff left to be heard"
Endeavor to do your work quietly. Anx-