The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-10-31
That HOop.sklrt.
From the Danbury News.

rroh ule DanDuIy NeWs.
We had q visitor Saturday after
noon. He was = square built, heavy
man. When he came in be took . seat
opposite US. aud after preliminary e1-
animation Of our features. propounded
the following singular but rather i'm
portant question: did you ever hear
tell of woman leaving a hoop-skirt
on the floor in front OF the bed2" We
thought over the subject for q
moment. so not to seem hasty in oar
judgment, and briefly intimated that
we had not any knowledge of this pc
cularity of the eek. well. nor I either
till lsst night" said he, And so you
did hear OF it last night?' we asked
II rayther think I did l raythsr think
I did, y he repeated. Then he pulled up
his pantaloon leg, disclosing q shin
bone that looked as if it had passed
the night in a smoke-house fighting
hi.s, and hruise at the top that
must have called forth the liveliest
expressions o. wrath when received
do you see that?' he asked. As We
w.r. looking directly at it, their was
possibility that We saw it, and We
answered in the affirmative. well,
young man." he explained, "Ivs got
another one like that On my back
aud a lump on the top of my head
and the col dsrndest shaking up gen
orally you ever saw." He paused .
moment to readjust his pantaloou leg,
and then continued: you see / va,
taken little bad in the night. with
q pain in my stomach. had been
over to the tair, and must have eat
something that didn't agree with me
guess it was about three o'clock in
the morning when begun to feel the
gripin'. l thought at first Id lsy still,
and it might pass over; but it kept
CITING worse, and finally ! got up to
look for the camfire 1t was darker
than blszes, a favorite ard pertinent
simile with the masses.-ED so l
had to hitch round kinder carefully
Tor match. expect I got on the
wrong side Of the bed in the dark. for
the first thing l knowed one OF ny
feet cstched in something and kinder
pitched me ahead. then the other fost
satched, and pulled me up again, an
then both legs got tangled up in tn.
internal hoops, for it WA the old
woman's hoop.sklrt, an rome OF thu
ribs got atween my toes, ard smarted
like thunder, an when undertook to
move one way it would pull me back
another, aud finally il got catched on
to a cheer, an l suddenly went over
to wunst, the cheer too, an / STRUCK
my arm across the foot board Of the bed
an liked to have wrentched my shout
der off an that threw me to one eide,
kinder. an l come plump with the top
of my head again the mantle, and just
made every timber in that house shake
as il O thunder bolt had struck it. Its
great wonder it hadn't killed me; as
it was, it set the old woman to
screamin' like O stuck pig, an Tor two
or three minutes it made me dresdfu
sick an dissatisfied. You can bet
that when got on my feet made
short work OF that hoop-skirt. 1t amt
hardly worth mertionin' in the paper
| don't suppose, but thought it mig ht
be a good thing to just warn the
women against leavln' hoop-skirts on
The floor at nights, an putting peoples
lives in danger, you know" Here he
stopped, and leaning back in his chair
with sigh OF relief from an oppressive
duty performed, eyed US for nomeu,
with considerable and rather uucalled-
or anxiety. Then rising and replacing
his hat with another sigh, asked us if
we had engaged our potatoes for the
winter, and finding that we had, and
and there was no probability within the
scope OF earthly com preheusion that we
should need any pot cheese, he sighed
once more and took his leave.