Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1873-08-07
IY,A GAZETTE& 4 VIRGINIA ADVERTISER.
N"''' (FuR THE COUNTRY


A Practical Joker.
o. existing practical jokers, perhaps the
AJAX, rymarkable is Il French musician. If be
E,, no; arrived at the proud pinnacle only at
,a,ucd by a Hook, it may be because opportu-
. INV. wanting, or such things are hardly re-
.,rdni IN the same innocent light now as they
were thirty or forty years ago, and are punish
..i,. Al .uceS. By profession, French horn
,l,vrr, whether his jokes are used as method
,,t irrlaue or not, we do not care to determine
about. As an artist be stands without a rival.
Ga his Instrument he possesses an ampeur, a
,,.reucss Of Souud degree of feeling, power
Of tcxccutiug, which are unsurpassed. lie has
even accou. plished the impossible on this diff
rlli Instrument playing a. distinct first and sec
uai or aD accompaniment, all at the same time.
Bat even the wonderful musical attalnments he
possesses are subservient to his practical jokes.
pIayiug every known Instrument with wonder
III, skill, a true Bohemian, he has been kuowu
to delight public fair, followed by an atten-
dant iu cart, in which was piano and stock
of Instruments and toAplay on each one IN tuue,
only that instead OF receiving money from the
crowd he would distribute it alter the pertor-
nance. Ofcourse this brought such a throng
that all the booths were deserted, and the
u>ipcss of the fair had to be discontinue
II
mnycd Going to London some years ago, he
became such a nuisance that the guardians
If reace we're only glad when his musical
,.,.g,rrmcots were over, and he lett for France.
! l,y,rite amusement of his was to leave his
lodging with dressing case 10 his hand, aud
,,oiur to cab station To select certain vehicle,
,,ftiur inside, he would direct cabby to drive
Ia some public square, selecting one OF the
most througcd iu London. Having arrived
there he would order halt, aud request the
,.,srhman to block the wheels Inside the cab,
onr p.act cal Joker would take off bis coat, put
rD = robe de chambre, and then proceed to
uu,ack his dressing case A small mirror
w.uIi be hung to the carriage windows, aud on
the seats would be arranged all the articles ne
c,>>a,y for most luxurious shave. Calmly
UNCONSCIOUS If the first two or three little boys
who were watching the operation, somewhat
amazed al seciug mans face covered with
Ia,hcr, gazing at them 10 the most undisturbcd
nauuer, this tiny nucleus would very soon form
the centre of large crowd. Certainly trom
the deliberate movements OF the gentleman IN
the cab nothing but the most perfect shave
would satisfy him. The assemblage would
>p.it their sides at tie comical way with which he
approached the ncighborhood Of his nose, when
shaving his upper lin, or shrek with horror,
would draw his razor across his throat. At
last the street would become impossible. and
policeman would enter on the scene, edglng his
way with difficulty through the crowd, aud the
nartcr would end by the arrest of the practical
:kcr as disturbcr of the public peace. Be-
fore thc magistrate, when condemned to pay a
fine, the musician would allcgc that London was
80 dAlk. so foggy, that he never could see to
shave himself except in the street, and not llk-
uy to sit on the curbstoue or on house steps, he
had thought that cab transformed IN 0
Irc,>ng-roo was not only the most Ingenious,
"ll a very intelligent way OF getting rid OF his
snIcitluous beard.
Never at rest, travelling from one part OF the
continent to another, his chief Object ln life
seemed to be to worry Custom House officials.
Arriving at some particular country, Where
Ideas of free trade we're of the most unenlight-
cmrd character, provided with quantity OF
baggage al iuimitabe actor, ne would pretend
10 conceal two of them, huge trunk and a
smaller one, from the eyes OF the officials, only
the more to excite their curiosity. At last the
.arscr uunk would be opened. 1t would be
found to contain thousands of second hand pan
alOoa straps an appendix to trousers now per-
ter,Iy obsolete Iu vain the Custom House
pcoric would try to cudgel their brains to solve
tic mystery They had to be all bundled out
10 the Very last one, but to their amazement 90
Two straps we're found to be alike They had
evidently been packed by hydraulic pressure,
'ar the most frantic efforts on the part OF the
,lupoycs would not put them back again into
The trunk lo the meantime hundreds OF pas
>~uccrs We're storming at the detention, while
The practical Joker calmly looked oD at the both
er he was causing. But the second and smaller
ruGk was now to be examined aud the Custom
i!ou>c people hoped there to find him in default.
ih,ya>k for the keys. The practical joker
''raw> lunches of ponderous keys from every
"oc Of his pockets; none will fit, until, at
,,>i. their patience exhausted the Custom
il'l>e officers threaten to burst the trunk open.
ihel the posscssor Of this particular trunk
"Mty asks the angry officer it he Is married.
" hat is that your busiuess?' is the surly re-
-, "Only this !: that before you open that
Hnk woud advise you to go home, shake
"aud> with your wife, kiss your little children,
you come back-their are rattleSuakes in that
'f!nk | never travel without them. Of
course the man leaves the trunk Instantly, aud
messenger has to be sent to the head director,
VINO Is Shrcwd cnough to be aware that he has
70 ,. DO with some practical joker. Presently the
yi'clal returns, and asks pompousy: Glow
u'ny Suakes have you, sir?" Only six, is
tie reply; Look for yourself" "Oh! only
>N The head of the department says six
shakes can pass, but that seven would have bad
L, pay duty. am also directed to state to you,
'ha IT you do not leave this ofhce-pantaloon
straps, snakes, and al-in five minutes you
VII be !orclbly elected. And who is to re-
PACK my precious straps, collection unquaed
u the history of the world? The law entities
1e to all my goods You took them out, put
mem back again. The best period of my life
beng devoted to finding pairs for these straps.
!'Ht | am In the cruel grasp of the law, and
ave no one to defend my rights save this, my
s"anpon;' aud here the practical joker uu-
t'cred his head, surmounted by peculiar high
'"' rom whence appears snow white, dimuu-
I've Bantam cock: The chicken raises himself
"p from the joker's head, claps his wings,
y[:wS three times, the hat is put on again, the
;;'''cken goes to roost on his head, and, having
~ ABOUT fifteen minutes driven the Custom