The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-06-27
CHIPS.
The sweetest things, it seems to me,
Are those that hadn't ought to be.

| The sweetest things, it seems to me,
| Are those that hadn't ought to be.
A Fort Wayne, Indiana, girl
chewed her lovers ear nearly off
not in Il fit of affection, but an
ger.
"a young lady in the Fourteenth
ward says she's always glad when
bed time comes so she can eat lots
of onions"
Barnum lost one of his biggest
worms last week, an African boa
constructor who could not stand Il
Boston climate.
ETiconderoga," Boston four
year old gelding, is said to be the
coming horse, and his owner will
be the IMAM who laughs
y young and happy widow in
Faris recently remarked to
friend; Il am now in the honey
moon of my widowhood."
1t is remarkable fact that, al
though common sheep delight in
verdant fields, religious fiocks are
not anxious for green pastors.
An unappreciative Astronomical
genius out West proposes that the
new planet discovered by Prof.
Peters should be named pete"
go see what have sawn,
Go feel what have felt;
Go out ut early dawn
And smell what have smelt''
a goose in Terre Haute was at
tackled with hydrophobia last
week, and biz raj individuals
severely befoIs muzzled.
The Minneapol, me thinks
the only objection Nebraska is
that there are fully six weeks In
midsummer when the sleighing is
poor.
Some people, because they are
very good, think they can afford to
he very disagreeable. We prefer
an agreeable sinner to a disagree
able saint.
A Missouri girl washed all day,
made supper off twelve boiled
eggs, and then danced all night.
The funeral procession was nearly
a mile long.
Queen Victoria lately discharg-
ed number of Iaborers on her
estate at Osborne for asking six
pence additional pay and an hour
lesa of work.
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps asks
plaintively: "DOes either the es-
sential modesty of feminine nature
or the safety of society require
drapery below the kneesY'
A little Newark boy has swal-
lowed a clockwork toy The thing
was wound up, and they say there
was a terrible time when it began
to revolve in his stomach.
A new style of boys tFowers
has been invented in Roston with
copper seat. sheet iron knees, riv-
eted down the seams and water
ipEoof pockets to hold broken eggs.
There is a good deal of sound
wisdom in the suggestion Of the
farmer, ''If you want your hoy to
stay at home, don't bear too hard
on the grindstone when he turns
the crank"
An Eastern writer thinks it is
carrying economy little too far
when q man has his wife's fayorite
bureau and dressing case worked
up into coffin and tombstone for
her when she is sick.
Boy to lady visitor-''Teach-
er, there's a girl over there wink
ing at mer' Teacher-sWell,
then, don't look at her," Boy
"But if / don't look at her she'll
: wink at somebody elsee'
| Mr.. Frederick Lockyer, of Lon
don, is author of this little verse,
. which contains a deal of truth:
''They cat and drink, and scheme aud Mod
, And go to church on sunday;
And many are afraid OF God,
And m)Te OF Mrs. Grundy.''
! A country maiden lately drove
an OK team into indianapolis.
hauling load of wood. She said
she cut the wood, and with the
wood she bought a highly ribboned
hat, and with the hat she will cut
a country swell.
: A man out West who married 6
widow has invented, device tc
, cure her of Externally praisins
her former husband. WheneYel
she begins To 6escant ON his nobl,
qualities, this ingenious humble
2 two merely says: t'Poor, dear man
! How / wish he had not died y am
8 the lady Immediately begins I,
a think Of something else to- tall
2 about