, 1873-12-13

| AH"faM KtHTLAND.'
|
| HuMuIs.t"
i, Ladies', thfs wintcr.: will wear the uame things
they wore last yoar-tf they can't buy otllora.
y. n. q. l.: arc tho initials Of Young lady
ins n nov ih!amsl'ire Several young men aro an3.
| -spicor says the difference batwcan tile IIoopae
Tunnol aud in oyster Is, that one IL wholuBopc
! md tto other soma holo.
"A Michigan manufacturer has t8 600 broom
husbands thinking about coming llon,o onrlv.
Tho young man who buastea he could mar
please any.
IA nov instrument. says tho Paris fyqa,.o
"suggested by tho life Of N. Thiers las boon in
vented by an ingenious uavaut It varies with
Taae'n,onseire" '@t0
An Iowa matron occupies the position Of
mother-in-law to sixteen ab]ect men, Aud pco.
World. = o''s
"a disconsolato husband, describing lis r,,]-
away wife, ,describes her as fuilow5: ''Dluc
eyas' red hair, prominent nose, dressod in yellow
klds bronco boots, aud 4 blue gaBh."
"a young lady says tllat gentleman ought
mover to feel discouraged when fhe Il smumontous
question is ncgatiyed by tic object OF Ills
docline before We coniugato."
=" II solno of our druggists" !" aayB an Iltinofs
pspor,, would I'LL bottla, with be1-bus poison,
place it i'll tho bncIz room and luLol It sOll nya
thero Noulu DO no many inqucHts in the neIt
twenty-four hours that MI tic papcrs wnuli
have to iasno supplements"
EWhen Doss ,rweads occupation WAS askea
BY tho Pauiteutiary officiaa he CORRECTLY ronlia1
;, stasosnlan !" for isn't lie the ssato'a man foi
tho 4eXt " twelve years. -1fcn.phis 4tcaianche.
ductor Who recently said iss A III Ia tsaF TO ton.
lady, has boen preaentcd with q new oyarcnat
mud they talk Of atatue to him.
.-Statistlcs show that in tho mountainous ia.
glons Of swltzerland and Savoy. deaf m,,1oa ere
PERTAINS. because Nature makes the mountain'a
peak for them.
Intending. to DO pathetio, tic editor Of thc
ar stra@sX haa nia 1 wrote beautiful
positor aot it up u beautiful giri stradtI1ed on
rail-" The etlitors patlos Mas suppressed
and 20 was the compassion.
a NeW Orlcais juryman was asked by fho
var 9 nomar ever fepa % papsIa Ho replied
time lll neVer do 30 any mora"
Tho journal says Sioux City gentleman
k knocked hla wife down with billet Of wood
Lmnraaly ;n1a s';l night. lie s groat, strapping fel
cuse for striking her with the billet was tint IL
with his fist. 1o
A gentleman built wing to Ills house, con
slaamG ai Of cellar library on the ground floor
friond about it, who roplied: "AIy doar fol
low, am sorry to ace you have lost you,
senHes." How2 7" exclaimed tAs other. ssWhy
boh vivant and literary man, nj you ara, tt
bookB."
"A Beaver County, Pennsylvania, mau Threat
snH to bring suit against a young faslner VIII
9arslsta !, ;n sitting up with his daughter Sunday
'aront claimH. firstly, that tho following day be.
ng waeil-day, his gal amt Of 10 account; SEQ
,ntlly, that it they could only use two chairs
opairs. 1s
Tho Reuielo says: IA Pooria 1etter-car
ler, after walking nine mieA and delivering tbt
aale letter to 1877 nlen none of whom would re-
eve y, hat down OIL q dra-plug and wopt; be.
ause .! Pocahontas vas such q fool as to oatch
III put my money In the Swings
ana, ;e, wlen en- got II out again asked moot
ho nowly-arrlvod. "0ch!'' snid his friend.
sure an' # you put it in to.day you can draw It
Ut to;moFFo" WIsu by giving sixty daya notice."
our shoes It'll" "No. pana. thoy Gn iont n n0n ma
all, replied the little ono. why, they don't
son squeak when 90 out for u walk"
-co1yersation in tho horse-enr: First Young
omioal, lor tho panic has stuck him. What
oss your father say? Second Young Laly-Ol.
q aoift say much you know pa IL 30 slow that
don't believe holl hear the panic ia III town till
"A wife wantod her Aueband to sympathizo
itl her in a feminine quarrel. but be rafuued,
ylng, :" I've lived long enough to learn that one
oman L Just as good as another, il not better"
And !, retorteu tho sxnspetatOd wifo " bavo
'ed long enough to learn that ono man il inst
bud as another, II not worael''
D4NnERRIEs.
What m nro you going to give your wifc's mothe.
+ ChrHimns9
Now that akntlag las rot III care should In
Ecu 10 avoM the ats-lloleH. It il surprising
O amount OF moisture an air-l,ole contuins.
In Wow OF our War prospects. il IN painful to
We passed thor 4dth year.
"A boy living on tho Sugar Hollow road ato
elky-ono bllckwlleAt oAkeA one (luy tnel ynnk
u 30 disturbed llR stomach az TO catse hin
ath ln thrco t!ayH after, The last wor,ls hu
tefed |oto OF modest triumph. Ito gaid: ~
lng 'om!" sA'
- Troy editor took hiH vito to New Yor);
luay: The conductor, when ho ca,ue uoue,
'o%nlzod our Troy brother III ontited to fres
s,saEo, out not knowing tho Indy, whispered
nm, ~ a!!ia Indy Iroa.l Of yours I" mo,
]. nald tho Troy odltor, IN Aasto; "sho Ia my
1T was about o'oluck friday morning tlat
-. AenueAsoy. nf Nelson atloet, Thinking .l,o
era noise i'll tho kitchen, crept out Of bod
20 That rooin to soc ifit WIS not Hepncaaoy
Eo liau hoon expected In for several hours
! reaohnR the klteion she found er lord u,,l
tster sitting Oil the floor. with hiH nuw silk
t III botweun his knees, mud in tho lat suy-
II dried horringH and ahont two quarts Of
ter. alr. Hcnnessey was eyojng tho mixture
tn profound qualification. "John uqnncY-
Vet" Inquired hlr. nanuessey, with look OF
rrriA1 A1Vhv hf0tttdn Tim fhio ~ ~, ,st;,,.