The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-08-09
: Practical Joker.

\ practical Joker. s.
.,, .,.i.,fn~~ practical iokcrs. perhaps the
- ,>.,,,,lahlc i A French musician. IL
)" i,. ,M arrived at the proud pinnacle
1 ne 10, .,,;,,.,I Iva TOOK. il may he because
OH! 1,,;,,i .,j, !. wanting, or such things are
op','. ,.'r.~,Ind ia the same innocent light
NJ. .hry we're thirty or forty years ago,
nov 80, 90. ',,,n,.Aahle offences. By profession
"'H HI,"",yrA..orn player. whether his jokes
rsol = :, method Of rccfCn,c or not, we
~ ,.,-e io determine about. AS an artist
~ Its,I, without rival. On his instru-
.n, ~. ,,n>>a->n> AL 0nl?lc'n', purcness OF
'".'..l ",", a decree OF feeling. s power of: exc
..,. which are unsurpassed. he has
. accomplished the impossible on
-: Jidicult instrument. playing
i.;,,. frs, and second. or an accompani-
49,, III \; The same time. But even the
.-''',.,Ir-fl,l musical attaluments he possesses
.r,,,.,r, lent 10 his practical jokes. Play
livery known Instrument With wonder
49, ,.li 4 true Bohemian, he has been
tr,,yy "a delight public fair. followed by
".'....rn,,sat in i cart, in which WAS piano
.t. sock OF instruments. and to play on
.', ,n, IN turn, only that instead Of re-
';,;r,. money from the crowd he would
T.,.-ihutr il after the performance. Or
>,,rr.r This brought such 4 throng that all
~, hoo,hs were deserted, and the business
-, ~. f3jr had to be discontinued until
80. .rat;,itouS musician was removed.
r.i,r 70 London some years ago, he
,,..,o,n, snrh 4 nuisance that the guard
law. q, r.. peace were only glad. when his
,,,,.i-ii ,n-a.rlucntS were over ana ne lett
far rrlucc. \ tavorite amusement OF his
wg. "a leave his lodgings with dressing
,~,-, in Nj hand. and going to cab-Station
IN ,cl,c. a certain vehicle, getting inside, he
lyorl direct clbhy to drive to some public
,r,lgr,. selecting one Of the most thronged
IN London. Having arrived there he would
nrdcr 4 halt, and request the coacLman to
hI,,.I the wheels. Inside the cab our prac-
,ical Joker would take oil his coat, put on a
y3ge dc cham6rc. and then proceed to unpack
ms drrSsinc.c,>e. \ small mirror would be
hnn, 10 the carriage windows, and on the
seat. would be arranged all the articles ne
rosary for a most luxurious shave. Calmly
unconscious of the first two or three little
hovs, who were watching the operation,
somewhat amazed at seeing mans face
covered with Iather gazing at them In the
most undsturbed manper, this tiny nucleus
would very soon form the centre Of large
crowd. Certainly from the deliberate move
ments of the gentleman in the cab nothing
bu, the most perfect shave would satisfy
him The aSsemblage would split their sides
=, the ooinical way with which he ap-
preached the ncighborhood Of his nose when
Shaving his upper lip, or shrek with
horror, fearful that they would witness
a suicide, as he would draw his
razor across his throat. At last the
street would become impaSSable, and
4 policeman would enter on the scene,
edeing his way with difficulty through the
crowd, and the matter would end by the ar
rest of the practical joker as disturber OF
the public peace. Before the magistrate,
when condemned to pay a fine, the musician
would aleSe that London was so dark, so
loggy, that he never could See to shave him
~e except in the street, and not liking to
sit on the curb>tone, or on house step, he
had thought that q GAO transformed into q
drt~sing-room was not only the most inge-
nious. but q very intelligent way of getting
rid Of his superfluous beard" ''Never
rest, travelling from one part of the continent
20 another, his chief object in life seemed to
te TO worry custom-house officials. Arriving
at some particular country, where ideas OF
free trade were OF the most unenlightcned
character, provided with a quantity
Of baggage, an inimitable actor, he would
pretend to couccal two Of them, huge
trunk and IL smaller one, from the eyes OF
the officials, only the mere 10 excite their
curiosity. At last the larger trunk would
be opened. 1t would be found to contain
thousands of secondhand pantaloon straps
an appendix to trousers now perfectly ob>o
ic,c. In vain the custom-house people would
Cudgcl their brains 10 solve the mystery
They had to be ai bundled out to the very
last one. but II their amazement no two
straps were found to be alike. They had
evidently been packed by hydraulic pressure
for The most frantic efforts on the part Of the
elnpoyGs would not put them back again
into the trunk. In the mean time hun.
dvcts Of passengers were storming at the
dccntiGp, while The practical joker calmly
looked OIL al The bother he was causing. But
The second and slnrller trunk was now to be
examined, and tie cllstOm-houSe people
hoped there 10 tind him ia default. They
Ask Tor the keys. The practical joker draws
bunches Of ponderouS keys from every one
Of lis pockets; none will tit, until at last
their patience exhausted, the cuStom-houSt
officers threaten 10 break the trunk open
Then the posscssor of this particular trunl
cVlmly asks the angry officer if he is mar
ric0. what is that your businesS?" /:
the >uTly reply. "Only this. that before
YOU open thai trunk would advise yor
h 20 home, shake hands with youl
wt", kiss your children, write your will
and call at an undeItaker's as you come
back--,hcre are rattlc>nakes in thai
trunk. lneycr travel without them" q
course the lIl:,M leaves the trunk instantly
and messenger has 10 he sent TO the hea6
director, who i. shrewG enough to be aware
that he has TO do with some practical joker
Presently the oificia! returns, and asks
pompously. How many snakes have you?'
"Only SIX" is the reply; "look for your
self" "Uh! only six The head of the
department says that six snakes can pass
but that seven would have had to pay duty
am also directed TO state TO you that If yOr
do not leave this oltce-pantaloon straps
snakes. and al-in five minutes, you viii
be forcibly elected" And who Is to re-
pack my precious straps. collection
unequalled in the history Of the world
The law entities me to ali my goods. You
took them out; put them back again. The
best period Of my life is being devoted to
finding pairs for those straps. But / am In
the cruel grasp Of the law. and hive no one
to defend my rights save this, my cham
pion' and here the practical joker uncoy-
ers his head, surmounied by peculiar high
hat, from whence appears snow-white
dminutive Bantam cock. The chicken
raises himself up from the joker's head
claps his wings, crows three times, the bat
IL put on again, the chicken goes to roost
On his head, and, having IN about fifteen
minutes driven the c,lstom-house people tC
madness, besides annoying host OF anxious
travellers, the practical joker disappears.
There Is such thing as being altogether
100 sensitive. The colored citizens Of Sum