The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1873-01-03
Ny Idees About Free Love
BY JOSIAH ALIENS WIFE.

turin on free love to JOnesville, and
the next mornin' Betsey Bobbet came
here, and seZ she:
"Josiah Aliens wife, you can't imag-
inc what new and glorious and soarln'
ideas that man has got into his head"
"Let him soar" says L coollyi III
don't hurt me nOne.n
Sez she, "He is too sOarin' q sole to be
into unsympathizen' earth; he ought,
by good right, to be in warmer spear"
SeZ I cOldly, and almost frigidlyi
fFrom what have heard of his lecture,
think so too, a good deal warmer"
Sez she, "He scared TO that extent
that it seemed as if he would lift me
right up and carry me Off"
For a minute / thought of Theron
Gusher with respect, and then again my
eye fell sadly upon Betsey, and she
went on, ''I came right home and wrote
n poem on the subject, and l will read it
to YOU, and before / could say word to
help myself, she went on to read:
HIM OF THE FREE LOVE REPUBLIC.
II females had the spunk OF a mice,
From man their foreman they would rise,
Their darning needles 10 infamy send,
Their dish cloth fetters nObly rend;
From tyrant man would rise and Zee,
Thus boldly whispered Betsey B.
CHoRUs-Females, have you mice's will,
You Will arise and get bill.
But sweeter-sweeter tits TO see,
When man hath found aflinitee,
Are welded unto Jumps Of clay,
To boldly rise and soar away;
All, tits glorious sight 10 see,
Thus boldly murmured Betsey b.
CHoRUs-Niale men have you a mice's will,
You Will rise up and get bill.
Haste, golden year, when all are free,
To hunt for their afiinitee;
When wedlocz's gate opens 10 all,
The halt, the lame, the great, the small,
All, blissful hour may these eyes see,
These wishful eyes Of Betsey B.
CHoRUs-NIalesi femalesi with a mice's will,
Rise up, rise up, and get bill,
For that will hasten on that day,
That blisSiul time when none can say
Scornful, "l'm more married than thee"
All Will be married and all won't be,
Promiscuous like. Oh, shall I see
That blessed time, sighed Betsey b.
CHoRUs-Yes, il folks will have a mice's will
And VIII arise and get bill.
''Yoa see it upsets some" " said Betsey
as she finished readin'. "But Prof
Gusher wanted me to write it for him t
sing at their free love convention, an,
he wanted a chorus to each verse, a sor
of war cry, that all could join in ant
help sing, and he says these soul stirrin
lines,
Have You a mice's will,
You Will rise up and take your BILL
have got the true ring to 'em. hateC
TO kinder speak against men in il,
hated TO awfully, but Prof. Theron
Gusher said it would be necessary t
rouse the masses. He says the almost
whitening sarcasm of this noble song i;
Just what they need. He says il will gC
= 20 CfI hrr cid .
Yankee Doodle, if not ahead of it
What do you think of it, Josiah Allen:
wife ?'
81 think" sez I, in a cautious tone
"that the verses is about offon a piece
with the subject"
Says Betsey, "Prof. Gusher has heard
that you are in favor of winners
havin' a right, and he's comm to see
you.n
Sez I, 'Ts he a man of family ?n
''SOme," says she.
"Has he been married ?n
"Oh, yes, a few times, or that is, wha
the cold world calls married, but ht
haint found the aflinitee yet; he has go
several bills of enforcement from vari
Gus different women trying to find her
that may be his business to Jonesville
but it don't become me to speak of ii
Don't you think, Josiah Aliens wife
that it would be real sweet to get bill
from men. It is a glorious doctrine 70
wimmen, so freein' and liberatin' Z
'em.n
"Sweetpr says 1 haughtily. at woul
be a pretty world wouldn't it, Betse.
Boobet, If every time a woman forgot {
put button on a shirt her husban
would stand up and say she wasn't hi
afilnitee, and 60 to huntin' of her up, o
every time his collar choked him."
"Oh, but women could hunt too.n
"Who would take care of the ehildre
If they wuZ both a huntin' ?ii saws
sternly. "It would be hard time fc
the poor little innOcents if their fatht
and mother was both of 'em off
huntin'.n
Before I could free my mind any fu
ther about Prof. Gusher and his doctrin
| had a whole houseful of compar
come, and Betsey departed.
The next day Prof. Theron Gush
came. Josiah was to the barn thrasl
in beans, but 1 received him with
calm dignity. He was harmless loo
in little man, with his hair parted rigl
in the middle, and he sez to me most Il
first thing after he set down:
"You believe in wOmen's havin
right, don't you ?"
Yes, sir" says / keenly, lOokin' l
from my knittin', 'Just as many righ
as she can get hold Of, rights never hu
nobody yet"
worthy sentiments said he, "aI
you believe in free love, don't you ?i
How free ?1 says 1 coolly.
rec to marry anybody you want {
ana as long as you want TO, from on
nan day up to five years or sou
NO, SIR" seZ 1 sternly, sI believe
rights, but 1 don't believe in wrong
and Of all the miserable doctrines tI
was ever let loose on the world tba 40 a.,
trine of free love is the miserahI;s
Free lOvep 1 repeated in indiSnaI
tones, ''it ought to be called free 60 31,,,
try, that is the right name for it.u sa1
He sunk back on his chair. put i
hand to his brow, and exclaimed wildI
HAIy soul aches; l thought had foul
a congenial spirit, but am deceived
NV breast aches, and signs and pants
He looked so awfBlly distressed, that
didn't know what allied him, and
looked pityin' on from over my spe
takles-and I says to him just as woJ
10 our Thomas Jefferson:
flMebby your vest is too tight"
"Vestn' he repeated IN wild ton