St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-06-20

abruptly, and Seizing BrimmeI's seat
} tered hair. bumped his pr"StIate hcac
against the table three Or fouI timcs
with considerable force. Having ex.
! pehdcd the violence of his emotion il
ttls manner. he held the editors heaC
Down with one hand. shaking it occa.
slonaIly by way of emphasis. and Will
: tife other hand seized the paper and
said:
"lOu disgraceful old reprobatc. You
unsympathetic and disgusting vampire
You hOary headed old ghoul, What
10 you mean by putting such stuff AZ
this III your vile sheet about my de
ceased son What d'you mean by
: printing such awful doggerel us this
cou depraved and di,Solutc ink Singer
-you imbecilc old quill driver Nou
oh bury Bartholomew in the woods
In beautiful hole i'll the ground
Where the humble bees buzz and the wood pecker,
sing.
{ 80 the straddle-bugs tumble around:
. = ~ winter, when the snow and the slush
q covered hls last little bed,
d,, "ther AItemas can 20 ont with Jane
u Isit the place With hls eleH
Ii teach YOU To talk straddle- bugs
III instruct You about slrIsh I'll en-
tighten your insane old intellect on the
subject of singing woodpeckcrs. What
dyOu know about Jane and ArtcmaS.
YOU wretched huccaneer. You despira-
ole butcher of the English language
Go out with sled I'll carry y"u out
III Il hearse before I'm done with Won.
you deplorable lunatic."
AT the end of every phrase. the Wis
itor gave the editor head a flesh knock
against the table. When the exercises
were ended. Nj. Brimmer explained
and apologized in the humhlcSt manner.
promising AT the same time to give his
asSailant a chance to pummcI Oft
''The treachery of tine man. mur-
INJURED the poet. is dreadful Didu't
he desire me to throw Il glamour OF
poetry over common place details .
But for that. should never have.
Thought of alluding to woodpcrkcrs.
and bugs. and other children of nature.
The man objects to the remarks about
the sled. Don't the idiot know that it
was necessary tu have Il rhyme for bed ?
/ Can he suppose that ! can wlItc poetry
4 without rhymes ! The man is lunatic
| He ought not I" be at large
, Hardly had the indignant and encr-
! getic parent of Bartholomew Departed
/ when Il man with red haiI and feru-
cious glare i'll his eyes entered. carry ing
club. and accompanied hy savage
| looking dog.
Il want to see tire editor" he,
| shouted
a ghastly pallor o'er>prcad Brim-
mer'S face. and he said
The editor is not in.
"Wrll, when will he hc in -
\.t
forever lie will never come in ANY
more :" screamed Biimmcr He has
gone To South America With the iuIcr-
ton of STAYING thcrc iurng the balance
of his life. He has dcpaItcd-hc has
! ilcd. If lou want to see him. you had
better follow him To the equator. He
/ Will hc glad T." see You. | would al
,i-' ....t, Tea 'r.I' u.l, =. t.lh, tiat neat
boat and start at once"
That is unfortunate. said the man
with the golden locks: Il called for
the purpose of hatteling him mp Il lot
with this club.
lie will hr sorry" said EIiuuer.
Sarcasrically. I'll" will regret missing
YOU. I'll write Ia him and tell HIM
aud mention that You dropped in.
My name i McFaddcu. said the
man. Il come I" break the head of the
man VIII" wrote that obituary poetry
ahout my wife If Won dnr,'t t,l me
whnprrpcrrat,d the following. I'll break
,nus far. ,nu' Wh,,.'s tLr man Ln
wrote thi> Pay attention:
Mr. Nc add,.n has gone nom this hf.
Sh. has LIT all her sorrows ana care,
>nr ;'"@h, m rheumatism IN ';tn "i her I'SN
rhry rl,t mustard riasfrI rp"n he, in 1ar
They hathrd her with whisky and nun
h'i ii,I II,r''I h ',ir. iT. SI,I1t nH % '" ''
..r.I,.. .l.,,.o ,,L,, hall i.,.. N,. NJ.
r,,I,l,,,. +, tb, >r,,,, ,,f -, n,,.,',,,-
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VI .I
,I'> ~, 'T'' ~ ''.'' WI ''''' ':.i'
-, 80 I,''
n''> '''''' ''''>''''' VI '''' anu "'E
"l''H
'I"' '"'.' S'''' tn, I'', ""'>','
tnr,J,tiu,, of th, bu,rnr> uf tine tu,,L
II v,s thi, monster who rniIu,cIlrd mo
ro make the -uu>Lipr of N,Foddru.>
,rril,., burst through the trmur.r of
MrFad,lcu'~ traIs. If that sore cadcd
monster couldn't smile over that allu-
sion 10 whisky and rum; if those re-
marks about the rheumatism in her
lerS could not divert his mind from th,
horror, of the tomb. was if my fault
He knows no more about poetry than ii
SurrkIrd mule knows ;,bout the shorter
CatecLiSm."
The poet determined to leave h,tnr.
any further criticisms were made upon