The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1873-04-24
OUR CHIP-BASXET.

Unredeemable bOnds-vagab0nds.
The greatest bet ever made-tke alphabet.
A singular fact-To-day will be yesterday
tomorrow.
Dolly Warden noses are the latest-Topers
wear them.
ga coffin" said an Irishman, sis the house
man lives in when he is dead.
A difficult MISUNDERSTANDING stop
to gossip's tongue.
A good name for the son of a Mormon-E
Pluribus Unum.
The "latest" song out-We won't go home
till morning.
What word may be pronounced quicker
by adding two letters to it?-Quick.
What is it that has three feet and cannot
walk. sixteen nails and cannot scratch "A
yard stick.
Education never makes fool wise 1t
only furnishes him with more modes in which
to exhibit his folly.
A printer recently made "Be ye there
fore steadfast," the text of minister's SER
mon, "Be ye there for breakfast"
Upon the marriage of Mrs Wheat of
Virginia, the editor hopes that her path may
be fowery, and that she may never be thrashed
by her husband.
"Ah, Mr.. Simpkins, we have not chairs
enough for our company" said gay wife
to her frugal husband. "Plenty of chairs,
Mrs Simpkins," he replied, "but too much
company"
IL AM not myself at all, to-day" said
bore to wit. mo NATTER" was the reply;
"whoever else you may be you're gamer
by the change"
The Chief of Police at Pittsfeld, Massa-
chusetts, recently received letter asking
him to look for runaway man who has a
'black mustash about five fete and tene
inches in hit with velvet COTE"
Guizot says of Louis Napo.eon. He was
all his life one of three things prisoner,
journalist or Carbonari-but always thorough
ly gentleman.
Sydney Smith once commenced charity
sermon by saying: "Bene7olence is senti-
n,ent common to human nature. A never
sees B in distress without asking G to relieve
him."
"Why don't you wash the bottom Of your
feet John 7" asked grandmother of a boy
going to bed; to which he replied gravely,
'why granny you don't think I'm going to
stand up in bed, do you?"
"My brudders," said waggish colored man
to crowd, Gin all af1iction, in all oh your
troubles, dar is one place you can always find
sympathy" "Whar, whar 2" shouted several.
In de dictionary" he replied, rolling his
eyes skyward.
A Georgia preacher, in translating the
sentence, THE harvest is over, the season is
ended, and thy soul is not saved" put it:
''De corn has been cribbed, dere ain't any
more work, and de bebbil is still fooling wild
dis community"
Gentility is neither in birth, manner nor
fashion but in the mind. A high sense Of
honor, determination never to take mean
advantage of another, an adherence to truth.
delicacy and politeness toward those with
whom you have dealings, are the essential
characteristics of gentleman.
The most original spelling we hare ever
seen is the following. 1t beats phonetics.
so you be-a tub. so oh! pea-a top.
BE 80-bat. See 90-cat Pea SO-pat.
Are S0-rat. See oh! double you-cow.
See you be-cub See bee-cab. Be YOU
double tea--butt. See double ell-cali
say. Pompcy," said one freedman to an
other, "dis chile has tried lots OBJ gift fairs
and things for prize, but neber could draw
anything at ALL" "Well, Jim, I'd wise you
to try hand-cart; de chances are thousand
to one dat you can draw dat"
Fun is worth more than physic, and who
ever invents or discovers new source of
supply deserves the name of a public bene
factor; and whoever can write an article the
most laughter-pro@oting, and at the same
time harmless. is worthy Of our gratitude and
respect.
How sweet are the affections of social
kindness! how balmy the influence of that
regard which dwells around our fireside.
Distrust and doubt darken not the bright.
ness Of its purity-the cravings of interest
and jealousy mar not the harmony of that
scene. Parental kindness and filial affection
blossom there in all the freshness of an
eternal spring 1t matters not if the world
is cold, if We can but turn to our dear circle,
and ask and receive all that our own heart
claims.
A Philadelphia woman who, forty years
ago, at the age Of sweet sixteen, married a
rich old fellow Of three score for his money.
expecting soon to be a gay and festive widow,
has recently died, aged ffty.six, leaving a