The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-08-23
The Squire's Visitors.
HOW RURAL RELATIVES ARE TREATED
IN PEORIA.

Si"hS Dhuhs, IetiIeu Oiu Sentlc
man, lives away down on Seventh stree.
The other morning three old ladies from
Macon county came to his house on
visit They used to know his wife be-
fore she was married. The Squire well
coined them to his mansion, and then
went out to the barn and swore for haitian
hour. While he was soothing himself
thus his wife called i'm into the house.
She handed him an umbrella to keep off
the sun, aud said the ladies had walked
up from the depot and left some things
there for him to bring up. So he
brought them up, making two round
trips for the baskets, band boxes, aud
two biackscil cloth trassiing bags, all OF.
which the Squire discourteously called
internal old traps,
As he sat in the back Kitchen wipine
his brow, his wife brought out the mar
ket basket and said thore was not n bit
of sugar or tea in the house, aud she re.
mark d that while he was going down
town he might as well get the molasscs-
jug filled. The Squire aksed her how
long those old migratory pelicans we're
going to stay. And she asked him If
he thought she would be so rude as to
ask them. Then the Squire went down
and laid in the groceries When he
got back his wife said she h,d forgotten
something and thought of it just when
it was too late. She must have. some
corn-starch. The Squire asked her if
any of the old scarce crows had dropped
the least hint as to the duration of their
visit She said not. The Squire looked
SAD and disconted
When he had the paper Of corn starch
on the table, his wife said they must
have cod fish for dinner. One of the
ladies said in the course Of conversation,
that she was fond of Goldfish. The
Squire asked if the old buzzards he'd yet
committed themselves on the extent of
their present roost. She said he ought
to be ashamed of himself
When he slapped the cod fish down
OH the table with whang his wife got
him to bring in some water and wood:
said Mr.. Spoohaug,r said she never
dine without ale, and the Squire was
asked if he would go down and bring
up bottle. He asked if he shouldn't
60 into the parlor and get those old
cormorants to make out list of what
they did like, and furthermore asked if
they were yet silent as to when they
thought they could go away
He sot the ale, aud for fear he would
have to trot down town again, he hired
an express wagon and loaded it with all
sorts of garden truck, bottle of whis-
key, box of sardines, pound of SNUFF,
some cove oysters, dried apples, beans,
smoked tongue, cut and dried tobacco
! picked waluuts. canned corn, mack eral,
splt peas, etc. ~
She next day the Squire was sent
down town only eight times.
Early the next morning he started out
into the country to SEQ a. man. When
he got home he asked his wife if any
time had been set for the departure. On
the evening of the following Mondoy
one of the ladies said she thought they
ought to start on the next Friday, SO as
to reach home before Sunday. MRS.
Biuks said they oughtn't to be in q ,hnr
ry., The Squire groaned and said they
ought to stay aud make their visit out.
: oniFriday morning the Squire had an