The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1873-07-24
HUMoROUs.

thence on a monument, did he refer to
doctors patients? No. How DO you
know he didn't? Because you always
find them under monument.
a NEW terror is added to dreams as
the picnic season approaches. What
awful visions of piles of fham-sandwiches
to be made, and legions of lost spoons
haunt the slumbers of women
A HAN who fell into vat of boiling
lard and got ont alive, says 1t was not
an unpleasant sensation after the first
moment, but he thought what mighty
queer-shaped doughnut he would make.
A FASHIONABLE young lady accidently
dropped one of her false eyebrows in
her opera-box the other evening, and
greatly frightened her beau, who, on
seeing it, thought it was his mustache.
A YOUNG man who prided himself on
his mental qualifications, once speaking
of the advantages of these, remarked,
What is better than a good educa-
ton ?" Common sense, you fool
you," quickly responded one of his
hearers.
A PORTLAND man was caught fishing
for trout ON another mans land the
other day; the owner demonstrated, but
retired in silence before the majestic
answer "Who wants to catch your
trout Tn only trying to drown this
worm.
Two little girls were lately prattling
together, and one OF them said, eve
keep four servants, have got six horses,
and lots of carriages now what have
you got ?' With quite as much pride,
the other answered, "We'ye got a
skunk under our barn.
A YOUNG lady teacher in a Lawrence
Sunday-sehooI caught a boy smiling
last Sunday. Said she: "What are
you smiling at, Johnny ?" Nothing,
mum, " was the answer. at know bet
ter" said the teacher severely; "now
tell me what it was. Johnny looked
frightened as he stutteringly said, CT
-I-s-see yer newspaper s-sticlking
out num-" The teacher sat down sud
denly and arranged things.
THE WooDKoK.-The woodkok IL ov
them kind ov birds who kan git up
from the ground with about az much
whizz, and about az bizzy az a fire.
cracker, and fly away as crooked az a
korkscrew. They feed on low, wet
lands, and only eat the most delikate
things. They run their tungs down
into the soft earth, and gather tender
and tiny food. They hav long, slen-
der bill, and rich brown plumage,
and when they light on the ground yu
loose sight ov them az quick az yu do
ov drop ov water when it falls into a
mill-pond. The fust thing yu generally
see ov a woodkok IL a whizz, and the
last thing IL a whirr. How so many ov
them IL killed on the wing IL a mystery
to me, for it IL quicker job than
snatching pennys Oph red-hot stove.
hav shot at them often, but never
heard CIV my killing one Ov them yet.
They are one ov the game birds, and
menny good judges think they are the
most elegant vittles that wear feathers.
Josh Billings.
THE PARTRIDGE partridge IL
also game bird. Their game IL tew
drum on log in the spring ov the year,
and keep both eyes open, watching the
sportsmen.
Patridges are shot on the wing, and
are az easy to miss az a ghost IL.
It IL phun enuff to see the old bird
hide her yung brood when danger IL
near. This must be seen it kant be
described and make emmy boldly believe
it.
The partridge, grouse, and pheasant
are cousins, and either one ov them
straddle gridiron natural enuff to hav
bin born thare.
Take couple ov yung patridges and
pot them down, and serve up with the
right kind ov chorus, and they beat the
ham sandwich yu buy on the Camden
and Amboy railroad S7f per cent.
hav eat theze lamenatble Nu Jersey
ham sandwich, and must say that pre-
fer couple ov bass-wood chips, soaked
in mustard-water, and stuck together
with Spalding's glue.-Iosh BiLJiHgs.
The New Orleans Picayune says cit
is, we believe, a remarkable fact that
there seems more youths in the south
ern states receiving military education
than in the northern states. There are
very few private military institutions in
the northern states. West Point, there
fore, embraces a larger number of the
youth who receive military education at
the north. We see in an account of the
proceedings which took place at West
Point, graced by the president and
secretary of war, there were but Al
graduates. We are satisfied there arc
several times as many graduates this