Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-07-30

READERS who are familiar with the self
ish habits which prevail in our larger
cities among the street-car passengers of
this day and generation, and the sometimes
disobliging ways of the often overworked
conductors, will appreciate the following
pleasant satire by a writer in the DG5tg
GrdDHio:
ScENE-A city passenger-car Any one
will do. The car is crowded, and there is
that perfect entente c0rd&ale between con-
ductor and passengers, and between the
passengers themselves, which so eminent
ly conduces to the luxury of city travel.
The seats are occupied by ladies and gen
tlemen, and few ladylike and gentle
menly children. The infantine element
is not yet present. The car stops. Enter
woman with baby. Every gentleman i'm
mediately rises, and the woman is forced
with a gentle politeness into the nearest
seat. a EEI
Old Gentleman-Permit me to hold
your little one while you find your pocket
book. st
Woman with baby, after fulnbling
through her pocket-book, produces ten
dollar bill, and hands it to the conductor,
saying: [ am really sorry to trouble you,
sir, but [ have just discovered that have
no small change.
Conductor-Pray don't mention it,
madam. 1t will give me pleasure to ac-
commodate you. Change is written upon
all things, even my pocket book. -
Woman with baby-I should not have
got in had known this was all had. |
would have infinitely preferred walking
to giving you so much trouble.
Conductor handing change)-And [
would have infinitely preferred giving
you all my change rather than that you
should suffer moments uneasiness.
lCalls out) One Hundred and ifty-frst
street!
Maiden Lady starting up from her cor
ner(-Oh, conductor! | asked you to stop
at Fifty-1rst street. Y9
Conductor -Accept nv apologies, mad
am. [ had rather my salary should have
been stopped than that the car should not
Permit me TO return your fare.
Maiden Lady-Not at ALL 1t is alto
gether my fault for having troubled you,
when l ought to have reflected you must
be perplexed The one hundred blocks
are nothing. Do not distress yourself, or
you will distress me. 90
Conductor-Then, madam, / will be
happy from this moment.
Maiden lady gets out. AS the conduc-
IOr returns 10 MS post, ne acClOenIally
treads on a gentleman's toe.
Conductor-I beg pardon, sir. Did
hurt you?
Gentleman with the crushed corn
(smothering with an herculean effort, an
expression of agony)-Not in the least,
sir. A mere trif1e, [ assure you.
Friend of the gentleman with the
crushed corn Gin a whisper)-Didn't he
tread on your corn?
Gentleman Tin another whisperlAYes
but | would not for the world have
wounded him by letting him see he had
given me pain.
Car stops. An old woman, with a
clothes basket, is about to get in, but, per
ceiving the car full, hesitates.
Conductor-Ste in, madam. All these
gentlemen are awaiting to give you seat
Allow me to carry your basket around te
The front platform.
The car proceeds, when suddenly the
slrap IS violently pulled by an excited OLD
Excited Gentleman-Excuse me, con-
eanctor' Tor taking the liberty. But there
are an old lady and gentleman up the
street who evidently wish to get in.
Conductor-Thank you kindly, sir II
any gentleman fails to catch my eye when