The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1873-02-28
Ancient History.

NoAH.-A paper named the Dispatch is
generally good and proper sort Of paper,
with fir knowledge OF biblical history.
The New York Dispatch, however, is q
startling exception to the rule. 1t gives
the following chapter from the history of
Noah, in which we fud so many inaccura-
cies that we are disposed to regard the whole
thing as forgery, with probably not q word
Of truth in it,
Noah's front name was Noah Noah's
last name was Flood.
Noah's wife's name was Mrs. Noah. She
was called by her nephews and neices Aunty
Flood, which being interpreted means before
the flood.
Noah had three sons-Ham, Shem and
Japhet.
Their playmates used to call them Ham,
Sham and Jackass.
Ham, as the name indicates, was pork
butcher
Shcm, l am a-shemd to say, kept o faro
bank:
Japhot--let me see, what was Japhet p
oh, yes Japhet was in search Of his father.
Noah, in conjunction with Barnunl, used
to keep menageTie on the European plan.
mo reserved seats"
One day rained-it rained the next day,
too--in fact it rained for month.
Things were getting damp around Noah's
house, so Noah told his boys-who were
dutiful children and, besides the fact of
their being dutiiul children, their father
always carried cain--.to get out the old
canal boat which laid in the barn, and forth
with they mounted the house on the boat,
and after getting the animals all housed, or
boated, they set sail.
The collection consisted of every kind Of
animal. Ancient history says:
"The animals went in two by two,
The monkey and the kangaroo"
! With many sigh they left their former
home; but of what use, as Mrs. Noah re
marked, was ace high when there were &c
many pairs around, which St.aight-way
raised a ,1iush on Noah's face as ho glancet
| at the poker (he wasn't btino9 Even th'
( nephews and neices swent for atsnty will
fi,H hands"
The boat was fitted up gorgeously, eacl
family having separate apartments.
4 They never quarreled, yet being opposit,
neghbors they all had adverse areas.
r Ancient history tells us that there wa
. every known kind OF animal in the boa
when they started out on their expedition
. but in another chapter it distinctly contra
diets itself, for it says that not until th
/. storm had abated did they hit on Ara-rai
, When the boat became tcreck on tn
mountain, Noah became lOreck on th
= shore, and reckoned he would sell out a
his right, title, interest, ETC., to BarnuM
who brought the animals to New York.
Shylock was one Of the animals wbic
l Barnum saved from the wreck. Some pee
Pile called it the tinlid hare.
:, The lion and the lamb lay down togethe
: It was, in reality, happy family. Ever!
Il thing was arranged so that the Animal
should return from the voyage just as the
had entered the boat
For should the hateful wolf destroy the tender lam
ID The eve would not be worth one continental dam.
--->--~,~--.--OH.~---~~
. REsUMPT1oN.--It was perhaps, unfortl
! nate that Senator Sherman coupled his frf
- banking measure with that providing f
j resumption, since the failure Of one nece
sarily carried the other with it for the tim
- The tabliDg Of the measure is laid at IL
= doors of Western Senators. The West hi
r never favored contraction, and has new
!, demanded an early return to q specie basi
Before the war it had too little money
4 carry forward its projected improvement
:. which were on gigantic scale. There VI
: :; an expansion Of the currency in that qua
i ter at that time far beyond the availah
- resources TO redeem. Western money W
= = not in good ardor, crashes were frequent, al
!. finance unsettled. 1t was only when the e
= = igencies Of the war compelled the nation
lend its credit as basis of financial opel
~ ~ tions for the entire country, that Weste
!! progress and improvement took up e
~. ward march, The issue Of greenbacks, 81
" plemented by the creation Of the system
banking upon government bonds, restor
public confidence, not only in the West b
everywhere. The era Of national currer
has been the era of greatest financial 8
bility west of the Alleghaniea, aud it is l
-, ~ unnatural tor Senators and Representati'
~ , from that region to seek to prolong, and
possible, to increase the facilities for p
re- longing the existence of an irredeemal
en- currency.--Ne,O Orleans Piceyune.
Ide --~~----..-os.~~-~-~-~~--
Tur Emnreaa Euveuie's iucomei is said