Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-02-27
BREVITTES.

A LOOK of security-A riveted gaze
No CHAIN is stronger than its weakest
link.
AN expensive wife makes a pensive
husband.
THE home Walking about with
a baby in the night.
THE Danbury Neocs says the great need
Of the times is copper-toed pants.
IN the late great storm in Paris lady
was blown through a plates glass window
IN what case IS it absolutely impossible
to be slow and sure? In the case of a
watch.
IT takes two boys to go to school now
a-days. One to study and the other to
carry the books
POCKET pincers for young men to feel
Of their moustaches with, are q new and
valuable invention
A CLUB has been formed in Baltimore
for the qualification ard preservation of
the moral man."
IT is kindly said of Rochester corpse
that, although married man, he was not
addicted to profanity.
NITRo-GLYcERINE is said to be better
than kerosene to kindle a fire, because
A GENTLEMAN from Ireland being asked
by New York belle if he admired small
waists, responded, mot in the laced"
a DANBURY man wears ten cent sill
yer piece on his shirt bosom, and calls it
dime and pin, which it certainly is.
OLD LADY, see you recover umbrel-
las" Shopman-'Yes, MN, lots of 'em. "
Old Lady"I want the one Host last Mon
day."
A LETTER received at the Philadelphia
Post-Office was addressed: 'Cheef dete
ef ploice head quarters philadelphia City
of Pill pa
A PRISONER named Farr got up and
busted from the Alton Jail few nights
since. He is doubtless lover the hill and
Farr away
PEOPLE in Texas are talking about a
grand celebration, when they expect a
railroad train, made up in New York. to
go through to their State without break
in the connection
A NEW novelist, from whom great
things are hoped in the dim future, tells
about youth who, alone in his room,
pressed the carpetbag of his beloved to
his passion-tossed, aching heart.
III struck each Of the four latest au-
thors on the Boston fire that it was good
thing to open with the original remark
that "History is philosophy teaching oy
example"
Guy FAWKEs, the baby hippopotamu in
London, is coming on after the usual
manner Of infants. He appreciates hav-
ing his ears tickled, and smiles when his
gums are rubbed.
firm in New York: ''Send me on
some Sunday School papers and books.
Let the books be about pirates and In
dams as far possible"
A GOOD collector must be patient as a
post, cheerful as duck, sociable as a
flea, bold as a lion, water proof as a rub
Der, cunning as fox, and watchful as a
sparrOwhaWk.
IN the statuary department of the Ames
Works at Chicopee, Mass, fine bronze
monument is nearly completed. Itrepre-
sents soldier in the attitude of parade
rest. The figure stands eight feet high.
HE Consregataonalist states that a pop
ular Boston pastor, on recent Sabbath
wound up prayer as follows: "And
give grace, we beseech Thee, to the dea-
cons, that they may be able to set god
ly example to US common people,"
A PENsIvE man, with basket full of
new hats, was passing the Wooster
House, Friday, when a quarter of ton
of beautiful snow slid from the roof into
his basket. Not being profane man, his
suffering was intense.-Danburu Meas.
THE ladies Of certain city think the
practice of keeping open house New
ears rather monotonous One lady
received six calls from the same gent
during the day, who would have called
again II his legs had not gone back on
him.
CHASING mule-eared rabbits is a favor
lite sport of the Stockdale neighborhood
in Washington County, Texas. The
mule-ear and the genuine grey hound
make beautiful race on the prairies.
Both ladies and gentlemen join in the
sport.
A NEW bank was in contemplation in
Poughkeepsie, N. Y, and the entire
amount of stock subscribed for but one
of the stock-subscribers saw the proposed
Cashier enter a billiard room, and that
broke up the entire arrangement
A NELSON street girl is just as accom-
pllshed On the piano as her mother is at
the washtub, but the latter boasts that she
can renovate three shirts while the
former is going through Beethoven's i'm
mortal symphony.-Dan6aeap Neaos.
SAID the little son Of prominent Balti-
more divine to his father the other day:
PA, st. Paul was Yankee" Glow do