New Orleans Republican., 1873-08-08
BLOW AMONG THE BLOWERS
A Professor on the Blow Interviewed
By Ou. Special Commissioner.
MI. Isaac Bates.

Every one has heard the reiteration OF that
professor that the passengers should pause
and tes: their lungs at five cents
blow. Well. like that confounded Arab.
tbi, professor on the blow has
folded his tent, extinguished his
lamp and departed; In a highly con-
fdential con versation with representative
Of the REpUBL1CAN-Mr. Isaac Bates-he
stated the reason of his departure. 1t was
this: Sir" said he, Il am Henglishman
and make an honest living out of this here
machine. 1t was put up at Brummagem.
which the makers name is plain to be seen.
Now what claim for my business is this:
If gent, OF you may say lady herself, is
dubyous of their lungs. which many is
more than you are aware, l ses to that lady
or gent, Sir, or madame, you look to me
little narrow in the chest. or dropsy in the
shoulders. Don't you have li:tle cough,
some times. when your whisky or your tea,
as the case may be, goes the wrong way
Suppose you take pull at this ere little
expirator.' 'Wha.ll it do! why, sir. or
madame, as the case may be. it'll tell you
whether you need doctors treatment. It'll
cost you but five cents, while the doctors
would not touch you under five doliars.'
Well, they don1 mind. BY and by comes a
stout looking young fellow. 1 sing out.
Whose got the best wind for long run
and first water! Who wants to be foreman
on the Trump-ate' Here's one Of ISIS men
run the scale up among the long nulbers.'
Then the stout young fellow. he stops.
and says he: 'D-n Eighteen. run wild
Mississippi .; and reckon our wind is as
good as any mans, and you must stay il.
out" So | ses: Only five cents. Blow. my
bully boy Then he tries. and say: MY
eyes! if hs hasn't sent it over 'em all:
which i: is easy to do. Mr.. Bates. This
was confdentia!). Then this stout young
man put the rest Of his pantaloons little
more into his boots. hung his hat, little
more on his left ear. and walked away sing
ings %. Susie, my darling. hope you'll
never de- with a strength OF lungs beauti'
full to listen to-after he had turned the
second corner. So ! takes them weak and
strong. and makes a fair tariff. Well
what does a certain set of gents, (leastways
they calls themself gents; mind, Mr.. Bates,
1 names no names. If that cap fits any
gent, there it sets. Let any gent try it on.
These gents they stays at their end Of the
alley, as stay at my end Of the same alley.
These gents is on the five cent blow; am on
five cent blow. Well, what do these gents
do! Why, they send and get fellow who
puts up his writing long and jointed on and
on, you may say, like a iointed fishing rod
that begins with handful and Joints out
no bigger'n lead pencil. Now, yoc listen
to these blasted newsboys They're every
where, and when they see a mans ieas.
way chicken breasted, as we say in the
old country, they sing out, Mister, here's
your lung proven! DON: fool your time
with Old brass-works-that, you mind me.
at the other end of the alley. Try on this.
just you Then they offer him soInethir 9
like this:
That We had amid the profoundest peace
the bes. constitution and the best govern
ment il the world, is the testimony of those
who changed them. The full position of
,
be correctly estimated for twenty years to
come. but there is enough seen to cast the
most pOrtentous shadows over the future
destiny of this country. AT this moment
the people CT the United States have the
heaviest debt, in proportion TO their popu-
iatior and wealth. OF any people in the
world. At this moment the constitution Of
the United States has been changed, with
tho avowed purpose OF making the govern
nf <t,a $nI %,$a I'm llpf
Of numerica al majority OF the people OF the
United S;ates-one of the most hideous and
corrupt despotisms the wit Of man has ever
devised.
At this moment the fruits OF these changes
in the constitution are exhibiting their bale
ful fruits, in the practical despotism q the
goverr 'nent of the United States over US o..
the Southern States-dictating their gov
ernmenrs; uphOlding over them the coy
ruptest rulers: poisoning all the fountains
OF justice: striking at, if they were not yet
and spreading everywhere lawlessness, dis.
tress and ruin. Corruption and protigacy
relgns at Washington, whilst money Oil.
garchy dictates cur financial policy;
drives the currency OF the commercial
world or: OF our circuiation; destroying
our navigation. but yesterday next to the
greatest in the world, and makes the Com
gress Of the United States. in its infamous
venality. the kissing scorn OF the world.
The pulmonary professor read thi. s,n all
paragraph with rapid and indignant ut
terance. only stopping twice or thrice to
cough as tie conglomeration of eplthets
iostleG each other and titillated the epi-
giotti.. Now" continued he. wiping hi.
eyes. my lung is ornary-nos over strong
nor over weak, but what do you think Of
that! Don's you see that if any man or
woman, boy or girl. can read this thing
without breaking up as call it, this man,
or woman. or boy, or girl as the case may
be. needn't go to no DOCTOR" Mr.. Bates
saw it plain enough. Now when . man
no: only gets his blow for the same
as nine. which is five cents. and
gets. besides. waste paper enough
TO. family use. where am H. Mr.. Bates
had no chronometer along, and 90 could not
ascertain the professors precise position
upon the stormy billows of existence. So he
mildly acknowledged his inability. NO."
said the professor, ''of course you don't, TO.
don't know myself. But when . Sc: OF
gents, that calls themselves gents, gifts up
what may call free blow or next to .
tree blow. just to break up poor fellow
that's in the same line, the law ought to do
something. Mr.. Bates mildly explained
whss be knew about the great American
specific, 1.-THE interjunction." The professor
caught the idea that as he had begun the
business OF lung testing first, the opposition
blower should be inhibited and restricted
from following the same business. They
then talked over the possibility of patent
ing this trade, and 80 compelling tho oppo-
oision to take out license under the origi-