Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-04-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MosT men like to see themselves in
print Ladies like to see themselves in
silks and yelvets.
THE season is approaching when drink
ing men, as well AS drowning men, will
catch at straws.-Graphtc.
Mr.. CLEMENT BATES has rung the town
bell in Plymouth, Mass, four tines day
for forty-two years.
THE pen is mightier than the sword, but
| the cheese is sometimes mitier than the
| pen.
A MASSACHUSETTS man lately sold sew
enty-three dozen patent medicine bottles.
all of which had been emptied in his own
| family.
A JERSEY farmer sent an order to the
CITY the other day for clock He said
he should prefer one made by Tempus
Fugit, as all the best clocks in his neigh
borhood had that name on the face.
A LITTLE Concord chap, who lived next
door to Emerson, was engaged one day in
| digging a hole by the roadside. A worldly
trifler, passing by, asked him; sWhat are
you digging after, little boy?" With
| gravity he answered; AFTER the Infinite" :"
ONE should not be downcast at failures
| They are often far better for the student
than success. He who goes to school to
| his mistakes will always have good
schoolmaster, and will not be liable to be-
| come idle and conceited.
A PARTISAN philosopher has just died,
leaving the following testament: at is my
| Will that any of my relatives who shall
presume to shed tears at my funeral shall
be disinherited. He who laughs most
heartily shall be sole heir" 6 @E
THE present fashionable way of ladies'
doing up their hair is called "la guillo-
| tine,n because it was the mode with
| women condemned to death during the
| French Revolution, to arrange their hair
| in like manner, so that it might be out of
the way of the fatal knife.
RUSSIA still reckons time by the old
Julian calendar. They call a year in Rus
| sia 365L days, which is an error of eleven
| minutes The error has now amounted to
! over twelve days; so the Russians are
twelve days ahead of the rest of the world
in their reckoning.
THE Troy Times has story that a gentle
man residing in the vicinity of Sandy Hill
holds note against General Washington
for 81 800, given for supplies during the
American Revolution There is an in
dorsement on the note for about one-half
| balance has never been paid.
AN English writer discusses somewhat
| sarcastically of that small coin, the three
| penny piece. He says: at is too small to
| fetch fitch of bacon; it is too weak to
| bring home sack of -four; it is of no
use to pay half wears rent; so it is
| solemnly and sacredly set apart to the help
of the Lord, to the help of the Lord against
the mighty"
WE have often looked for a sentence that
| would clearly explain it, An exchange
| kindly supplies the want in this beautiful
simile: you might as well attempt to
| shampoo an elephant with a thimbleful
of soapsuds as to attempt to do business
| and ignore advertising"
| BEWARE of females with three arms
| They have no right to such profusion of
| limbs, and carry them for no good pur-
| pose \ man in New York stage, the
other night, felt hand cropping in his
| pocket on the side next to a well-dressed
woman. At the same time, neat, gloved
hand rested on her lap on the same side,
and seizing this as she was leaving the
vehicle, he pulled her arm off.
| THE Rock Island Union says that the
| Shereefa, the present Empress of Morocco,
| was formerly Miss Emily keene, a par
| ticular friend and god-daughter Of Mr.. J.
| George, of Rock Island Miss Keene is an
English lady, and her marriage with the
Prince Wazzan, who is represented to be
| a man of enlightened, liberal character,
with great influence in Barbary, has at
| tracted a good deal of attention.
THE late Mrs James Gordon Bennett
was riding in the steam cars on one occa-
| sion, when General Scott entered and took
seat directly behind her As he appear
ed to be unoccupied the lady handed the
! General copy of the New York Herald,
which she had been reading. Madam, |
| thank YOU" said the General, returning the
| paper, II never read the Herul9" The
| General had one less newspaper to support
| him at the next election
! HERR PRoFEssOR-Iss it not shdrainch
/ ting, laties, dat de Latin race cannot
aguire de Enklish pronuncy- alton? l haf
| chOOst dis moment bardet from an Idalian
chcndlcman "a Grade vrent of mine ant a
| ferry gleffer MANI who has lifted in Lon
| don almoste as long as | haf, dventy-vife
| yeers-ant foot you belief it? He shpeegs
| Enklish Wit a kvite shdrong voreign in
| donation, How to you agound vor 20
! eggshdra orrtlnary Zeergcomshdanz as
! tats-Puuch
! THERMOMETERS were put into the Louis
vile High School recently for the first
time, and the colored janitor exerted him.
| self to the utmost to keep up the warmth
| to the desired standard. but all his efforts
| failed, and the rooms were cold. At the
close of the school he went to Professor
| Chase, and said: "Mr. Chase, Use gwine
to try dem dar kummomicks one mo- day,
an if can't keep desc rooms wa'am, I'm
| gwine to put de las one in de stove and
stick to the ole PLAN
| LINES TO My LADYLovE--
To thee, We're l humble bee.
I'd hourly wing my honeyed fight:
To thee, were / a ship At sea.
| I'd sail, though land were in my sight;
To thee, were | a pussy cat.
I'd spring, as though 'twere on 4 rat
To thee, were stickleback.
I'd swim a. fast fms move
To thee. were q hunters hack.
! I'd gallop on the hoofs of love;
| But, a. I'm but a simple man.
III come by train loye-if cam
-PnHch's Almanac.
| NED BUNTLINE, who manages the In
| dian stage business. has cleared $4,000
so quick Buffalo Bill and Texas Jack
| each receive 81 900 a week, and spend it
| like lords. Jack has an Indian fondness
| for gewgaws. He bought of Tiffany, in
| New York, huge gold chain. almost half
L