The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-01-22

cage filled with rare birds from every
part of the globe. So he had it made
as large as a house and before it no
would stand for hours and study the
habits of the different members Of the
feathery tribe. Sometimes he would
liken his different birds and fowls to
known men in real life. Once DO
stood with neighbor and kept him
laughing for long time IS he would
point them out, with an apt remark.
Pointing to the robin he said that was
Thomas A. Hendricks; the woodpeck-
er that is Ben Butler, the old goose is
Sumner; the parrot is Garrit Davis
the old gobbler is Conklin; the croy
is Fred Douglass; the hawk is Wen,
dell Phillips; and the canary ia Sun
set Cox, &c. This large house cage is
still to bosocu at Washington Heights.
An item, evidently intended to
discourage marriage and tho propaga-
tion Of the species, is going the grounds
to the effect that decent bridal outfit
must cost st least $4,000. Among
the articles enumerated which a bride
must have, are dozen night dresses.
This is absurd. The man who would
allow his wife to wear dozen night
dresses; even in winter, deserves that
his family should become extinct.
"What have you done with your
doll?' said father to his little daugh
! ter.
Put it away to keep ior my chill
dren, when ! grow up"
"But if you shouldn't have any?"
"Oh, well! then it will do for my
grandchildren"
A teacher, in trying to explain pas
sive verbs to class, said to one Of the
boys, Nov, observe: If say, John
is BEATEN what is Johu's relation to
the yerb?" "John gets licked" an
swered the boy. "No, no, you block
head; what does John do?" 81 dun
know, unless he hollers."
"What would our wives say, if they
knew where we are?" said the captain
Of "down east" schooner, when they
were beating about i'll thick fog, fear
ful of going ashore. "Humph, l
shouldn't mind that" replied the mate,
eff we only knew where we were our
selves"
A lady vas examing an applicant
for the office Of maid of all work.
when she interrogated her as follows;
"Well, Mary, can you scour tinwarc
with alarcity?"
mo, ma'am,' replied Mary; 81 al
ways scour them with sand"
A Lady whose horror of tobacco
amounts most to Il disease, took a seat
by the side of man in railroad car
the other day and nervously asked him.
"Do you chew tobacco, sir?" "No,
ma am" replied the as;onished man,
"but | guess | can get You a chaw, it
you're salltriu' for it.
A Horse.dealer, who lately effected
Il sale, was offered a bottle Of porter
to confess the animals failings. The
bottle was drunk, and then he said the
horse had but two faults. When
turned loose in the field, he was "bad
to catch" and he was "of no use
when he was caught"
HAS that gal got iits?" asked ali old
farmer who had paused to see ayoung
lady go through with her calisthenic
exercises in the dooryard NO" re-
piled the servant-girl, that's jimmy,
nastic," 49," said the farmer, IN
pitying tone, "poor thing; how longs
she had emp"
A Dutchman once wanted to wed
widow, and made love to her as fol-
lows "If you ish content to get a
better for worse, to be happy for
miserable, and if you smokes and
thinks ale, shall takes you for no
peter and much worse" Upon which
the lady answered "Yaw."
A Judge charged jury follows
Gentlemen of the jary, you must find
that the defendant is guilty beyond
reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt
is such a doubt as will convince a
reasonable man that the defendant is
not guilty"
DR.. Parr, when a boy at Harrow,
had so very old a face for his age that
one day his contemporary, Sir William
Jones, said, looking at him, "Parr, if
you should have the good luck to live
forty years you may stand chance
of oyertaking your face"
Mr. Jones has long been wanting to
visit Greenwood Cemetery, and in
early summer she says to her husband,
"You have never yet taken me 20
Greenwood" "No, dear" he replied;
"that's pleasure l have yet had only
in anticipation"
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