The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-04-05

like to take one more 'glance at the
book. Where, oh where am to find
the proportions Of the sGhester White
SOW" called Mary? GGteat laughtcr]
Only one year old Bring on your
microscopic bureau. Observe the length
of that in1uisitive snout and the com.
pound curl of that tail. Laughter
See the lengthening luscousncss of
those tactical glands ! daughter. But
her name it is Mary Is there tf1nn
who ever loved Mary = fLaughter.]
Let him construe our beloved Constitu
ton Perhaps there is some one here
attach d to the Constitution and to
education will rcproach me for not
mentioning the ophidien reilosun,, or
the p"tofor OF Beck. daughter. Will
the Scotch member from Kentucky
please explain this melodious termiuo.
ogy which bears his name? GLaughter.
Mr.. Chairman, have only risen for
the purpose Of having the House under.
stand the astonishing effect of these
agr'u tu:nl reports, not only upon the
poorlc in the country, but the people in
the city. acknowledge that the effect
is different according to locality. l now
represent city, though by some nisap-.
ort.bn Al
people of New York State outside OF our
grand metropolis voted for me to repre-
sent them | fell short in tie country
Laughter TO be sure carried that
city by some twenty Ave thousand !!
Though may not, owing to misappre-
hension, be with you next Congress
l4aushtcr.l l must refer 70 the effect
Of these reports ON the city The effect
upon the wicked city of Philadelphia,
which acted so badly in the late election.
laughter ! is espe tally notable. | re-
fer to it for the purpose of calling the
attention of my friend from Philadelphia
(Nr. Kelley to the dreadful consequen
ces nc imposes npon his constituents iu
scndilg those reports into the heart Of
Philadelphia. Read very slowly, Mr..
Clerk, the extract l send un from the
S~adly Dispatch, of Philadelphia,
showing the direful effects of thesr
;cr:illc reports. CTtc Clerk real (c,a
r.rr;e$sipMc) as follows !
We owe cnr ,haass to Judge Kelley
for The iatcs, Patent Oilce report. We
already l'av: sixteen hundred of those
int sting volume in our little @libriry,
hu: they have been read an rcrcad so
many times ,hat we know evciy page of
thcn hr hcurt. This new volume came
o.p rtuncl5 Ind gratefully on Christ.
'ras morning, aud that tight we gather.
el our little family around the firc and
al il through to them. The affecting
tale, entitled Improvement in Monkey
Wrcnches, seemed TO touch every heart
daughter. and when We came to the
Climax Of the little story about 'Rover-
sible Pie Boards, there vas not dry
eye between the front door and the
stable. Laughter During the read
ing OF the .piteous narrative, Gum
Washers FOR Carriage Axles,' the whole
family gave EXPRESSION to boisterous
emotion, and the hired girl was so much
excited that sh, lost her presence of
mind andS went around to her mothers
inadvertently with six pounds OF sugar
and butter kettle full Of -four, aud came
home a; midnight intoxicated rLaush
ter. We can never sufficiently thank
Judge Kelley for ;he innocent enj W
mcnt thus furnished us The memory
of thrt hnppy evening will linger in our
minds very much longer than that hired
girl ever fingers when she lights on a
lot Of substance which she thinks will
snlt the constitution of her aged ''par
eat Great laughter.
- zl<za-------