The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1873-11-01

ASSS
lumber to the centennial enterprise by
munificent Charlestonian must be extremely
acceptable. The committee, as we have mac
occasion to notice, have been doing conslder'
able log-rolling Of late.-NeU YORK COM
qnercial.
A Young man out in search Of his father s
lost pig, near Scranton, Pa, accosted an
IrisbInan along the road with: "Have you
seen stray pig about here?" "Faith,"
said Pat, &c and how could l tell stray pig
from another?" That reminds us of town
ordinance which provided that "every
other dog" should be killed. The difficulty
is to distinguish the "other" dogs. 80
A gentle Quaker had two horses, very
GOOD and very poor one. When seen riding
the latter, it turned out that his better-hali
had taken the good one "Whatl /" said q
sneering bachelor, show comes it that you
let your wife ride the better horse?" The
only reply was, Friend, when thee be mar
ried thee'Il know"
An imaginative Irishman gave Utterance
to this an.entation: "I returned to the halls
of my fathers by night, and found them in
ruins! I cried out aloud: My fathers, where
are they?" An echo responded: " Is that
you, Patrick Mccarthy"
English tourist (having arrived at Green
ock on Sunday morning): " My man, what's
your charge for rowing me across the
FIRTH" Boatman: "Weel, sir, l was jiSt
tbinkin' l Gamma break the Sawbath day for
no less than fifteen shulPn's !"
A western editor once in trade can't get
rid of his mercantile habits. Having occa-
sion to quote from Il familiar hymn, the fol.
lowing was the result:
"Ten thousand thousand 10,O00,000l arc their
tongues
But all their joys arc one a.
"The sanderous soul is imbued with the
electric fire Of hell. His black heart emitS
the sulph,rous fumes till bis whole nature is
absorbed in one homogeneous mass OF he'll
lishncsS." is the way Greenville (fenne:.
sce) editor pulvcrized person who SLAM
dcred him.
The Des MoiIes Quartette were some
what startled the other evening by finding
that the selection, "When wearied wretc hes
sink to Sleep" had been printed on their
programmes When married wretcheS, &c.
Father Boyle. of Washington, addressing
a school on the subject of Easter celebra-
tons, young miss asked him: "Father
Bowie. what is the origin Of Eastcr-eegsT'
A hen, no doubt, miss replied the father,
quietly.
An Iowa newspaper proclaims itself an
"honest newspaper" and in another para
graph says, "Whcn Il man processes hon
esty nowadays keep your eye peeled for Il
thief
4 smart Indiana boy, seeing how hot
iron Slnoothcd the wrinkles out of clothes.
undertook TO take the wrinkles out Of his
sleeping fathers face with one.
did David, son of Jesse, murder Uriah
the Hittite!" We give it up. With the
Goodrich and Nathan murders still unSolyed
we cannot go back TO Uriah's case.
An editor once wrote: "Wc have received
4 basket of Strawberries from Mr.. Smith, for
which he will receive our compliments,
some of which are four inches i'll circunlIcr-
ence."
David styles got through being the oldest
man in the Northwest at Dubuque the other
day. aged one hundred and seven years and
four months.
A California paper says: I" Born-A son,
Il regular SalllUIIlH Ullecu-IOuuucI, W lHC
wife of Elder Mannheim, the eloquent en-
FOUNDER
With total lack Of professional courtesy,
some Sherburne county (Minnesota) wolves
chased couple of lawyers five miles.
Cairo has only two policemen. and these
spend half the time fighting to see who shall
be chief and who the " force"
A Minnesota Teuton has Won fame and
five dollars by drinking ten glasses OF lager
beer in two minutes and half.
A Young man at musical party being told
to "bring out the old Tyre" brought out his
mother.in-law.
The best time for bread-baking is in the
hour of need.
The chiel amang We takin' notes " is now
taking certified checks.
George Shoe applies for divorce at st.
Louis. If his wife's left he is right.
A thorough washerwoman--sal Soda.