Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1873-10-23
A Female Traveller.

IN. QUAD" "took charge of lady" on
a railroad car, the other day, and thus de-
tails his woes: Perhaps the man
meant to do me a favor when
he came up to me at the depot, with
spnister hanging on his arm, and
wanted TO know If wouldn't take charge
of her from Chicago to Detroit. Many
men think railroad journey rendered
really pleasant by the companionship of
an unprotected female. She insisted on
counting her handbook and traveling-bag
as soon as we got seated. She counted.
The were just two. | counted and made
no more nor less. Then she wanted her
parasol put in the rack, her shawl folded
up, and her handbook counted again.
counted it, There was just exactly one
handbook of it, As we got started she
wanted to know If was sure we were on
the right road to Detroit. | was sure.
Then she wanted her travelling bag count
ed. counted it. BY this time she want
ed the window up, and asked me if it
wasn't hot day. | said it was. Then
she felt for her money, and found that it
was safe, though she was sure that she
had lost il. While counting it she re-
lated how Mrs Graf, in going East, five
years ago, lost her purse and three dol
lars. She wound up the story by asking
me if 1t wasn't "A hot day. / said it was.
Then she wanted that band-box counted,
and / counted him. He was still one
band box. There was a pause of five
minutes, and then she wanted a drink. l
got it for her. Then she wanted to know
if we were on the right road to Detroit.
assured her that / was positive of the
fact The brakeman here called out the
N nF "A 81 in
manner that the lady wanted me to go
and see what the name really was. |
went 1t was Calumet. She wanted to
know if was sure that it was Calumet,
and put my hand on my sacred heart
and assured her that | would perish
sooner than deceive her. BY this time
she wanted the travelling bag counted,
and counted her She figured up as
before. ! had just finished counting
when she wanted TO know if didn't
think it was hot day. | told her / did.
We got along very well for the next halt
hour, as i got her to narrating story
about how she got lost in the woods
eighteen years before, but as soon as she
finished it she wanted to know il was
sure that we were on the right road to
Detroit. told her that hoped to per-
ish with the liars if we were not, and she
was satisfied. Then the parasOl fell
down she wanted me to change a ten
cent piece, and the window had to go
down. When we got down to Marshall
she wanted to know If the place wasn't
named after courtmartial, and whether
it wasn't barely possible the station was
Niles instead of Marshall. The band
box was counted again, and he was just
one. Then the window went up, and she
asked me if, in my opinion, it wasn't a
hot day. / replied that it was. Then
she related a story about her uncle,
another about young lady who had
been deaf several years. During the day
l counted that handbook 300 times;
raised the window thirty times; said it
was hot day until my tongue was
arranged that parasol twenty
one times; got her sixteen drinks of wa
ter, and inquired the names of thirteen
stations. She said it was SO nice to have
a man in whom a stranger could place
and l dared not reply for
fear of bringing out another story.
When we reached Detroit counted the
things three times over, helped her off
the cars, got her hack, directed her to
a hotel, told her the street, price, name Of
the landlord, head waiter, and cook;
assured her she would not be robbed nor
murdered; that Detroit had population
of 100000; that the fall term of school
had commenced; that all Detroit hack
drivers were honest and obliging. Poor
woman! l hope the landlord didn't get
out of patience with her artless ways
Detroit Free Press.