The Osceola times., 1873-09-13
YoNKERPIN LAKE,
SEPT. 11TH. 1878.

fall victim to the buzzards or
worrums, ef I wasn't derlited tew
read your klassic letter. 1t tasted
ov the real ante salts, which is hi
ly favored with the literatoor ov
ancyent Greace. In fack, l kudent
hcv bin better pleazcd CT Pdc a
hurd that Jurusalem had professed
religgun, or Betsy Jane Sary had
died in the hopes oil a joiful rcsur-
recshun. An so you is the school
rider ov this beat? Now my dear
boz, they aint no body about heer
which don't kno that I've allwus sed
you wus the most risinest yung
nun in the kuntrie, which | ses to
Bildad Peters, a Plus and gifted
yung man which keeps the Yon-
kerpin Grocery. "Blldad, theer's
more in Lyon Rooshan than a wiz
yards bag, which being shuck, out
Gums military plooms and flowers,
and maybe eggs and guiny piggs,
which nobody wasn't looking fur,
nor yet believed wus in it, tew the
delitc ov the spectators. No Bill
dad, oh no. When / see yung
mar afeard ov Ticker and the de-
moralizing skreemes ov wimmen,
an takin more comfort in his bibul
than fcktishus tails ov lave, his
mind must bust forth like the wiz
yards bag with the plooms ov suck
ses, the flowers ov trooth, the eggs
ov noledge and the piggs ov pros
parity" Bildad ses )" Yes profes-
sur, ef he do steer clair of Ticker an
wimmin, which is tho gogs and ma
gags ov sin, he may be burning
lite. There is tcw menny, oh, tew
mcnny promisin yung men which
Gums TO my groceri, ses Bildad,
feilin fur his handkerchieG which
lndulges in excuses, and keerd-
playin, and profain langwidge, an
skoflingly asts me eff I'm cheerman
ov the lung Mems Kristian Asso-
ciation, which mite be burnin lites,
but is only SO mcnny barren fig
treas. coud stand thar skofis at
me with kristian meekness, ef thay
didn't drink my Ticker on a credlc
and report me to the gran,jury
when | sell it to EN- on Sunday"
You ort to kno Bildad, Rooshan,
fur | kno you'd take to him like a
brother an bee jess like too simon
nees twins. His norris is good
and his Ticker as prompt as litenin,
and while the glass is at yer mouth
you feel the hooid spranglin out all
thruc yer system. When you cum
to Yonkerpin, asst Bildad to MIX
you Hootenpile warbler. Its
called the lIootenpile warbler in
honor ov the inventor, and bekos
in gives wcekminded yung men
tendency to holler.
| hearn from the Rev. Strong
scent Blackboys which ses he's jess
from a potrackted meeting at ka-
row; that b. j. Sary was in that
burg gittin goods on my crcdic,
"yewkered at last" ] ses, "yew-
kered,' and l begun tcw indignatc
at the rate ov forty oathes minnit,
when l was kamd by calling tew
mind the ondoubted fact that | onct
lived about two years in Karow.
You see, Rooshan, l left Karow on
\
ackount ov the merchants after on
limited credic, telling me tha pro
posed kasb basis in future deelins,
and tho | believe Betsy was meen
enuff tew try it, leen tcw the idec
that the nam of Hootenpiles tended
tew diskurridge tho chicken from
fghtin. ] also feel it tcw be my
duty to stait that Mr.. jeff Davis,
the nlggcr which bowt my stock of
patient office reports with the idea
of selling EN- out as Readers in the
public sl;uies, and which jess cum
down from Karow, scs that the po-
trackted meeting which detained
the Rev. Strongsccnt Blackboys
must hev been helt in the Karow
jail, as he Frequently notisscd the
pastor gazein thrue the gridiron