, 1873-02-09

aU1IoR.
| Man oyer-hored-An editor.
| a good sde-alow-A pretty cheek
A sealed proposal-The engagement k;es.
| Order Of the Bath--Hot and cold.
| The young ladies' OF New Haven never say,
"As thick as leaves in Val1amtrosa;" they think
it sounds affected, and accordingly substitute,
| ssAs thick as photographs Of Yale students."
| Ono Of tho prottiest compliments We have
! heard OF lately, WAS that paid by gentleman
the other evening, who objected to playing carda
with lady. because, he said, she had such win
ming wars about her.
-sydney Smith once commenced charity ser-
| mon by saying: 'BeneTolence is 6 sentiment
common to human nature. 4 never eecs B in
t distress without asking c to relieve him."
"a druggist is much troubled with little boys
swer to one yesterday, he answered: why, I
told you too time but moment ago" Yes,
Sir" said the boy; t'but that was for another
woman
Professional Etiquette Parent--
her. She is very i'll indeed" Consulting Ply.
sician-" Must wait for your family physician,
sir. Could not presume to interfere till be ar.
1iyes. The patient must have patience.
-"Humph!" said an Englishman to Scotch
are all very we'll in their way /; but in England wa
feed them to our horses, while here they are
food for men," "Ay;ay"' said the Scotchn1an;
" an just soc what fno horses there are in Eng
land, and what dne men We have in Scotland !"
Tho man who returned his neiEhborG Dor
1owed umbrella Was eeen day or two sgo,
walking in company with the young lady who
passed q looking-glaas without taking Deep.
It is believed they are engaged.
Sc May 1ea7e . few tracts Z" asked q mlssion-
ary Of = lady who responded to. his knock.
IS Leave Some tracks? Certainly you may, said
she, looking at him most benignly over het
specs, "1eave them with the heel toward tha
house, if you please,
of conversational -st' Woman's mission PoohI
Woman's mission is to be beautiful. II ever !
meet a woman with lots OF tin, who is faultless-
y beautiful shall marry her straightt off," His
ADJ hAdarng a1i rrisnd sa suppose you'll just :sh
"A Ittle hoy the other day was put into long
trowsers for the first time. Some ono asked him
Why ho had changed. 'sWeu," he replied, tha
boys made fun Of me, and wasn't going to
wear ny pants at half-nast any le Longer" 7eg
pie sewing recently, as he always
7:eewed wheat by hand" He ia relnted to the
man who did not want atbreshinS- -machine On his
farm; "for," said no, ssgive ms harness tug.
the mnrk according to lau and scripter,''
-" Small Mercies. Young Larksper-"Hnl-
10, Grunnmos, how are you? What's the mat
ter7 hear you've had Legacy 1ets yoa? ~
dear fellow, cong1at.-:" Gr1mmes (dismal:
thingsetO, but fellow can expect more tLaa
one IN his lifetime, and this is only s1o, and the
eHtate's in Chancery!" [They liquor up despon'
The publication Of q fresh historical p.1a-
dox reminds contemporary Of Sydney Smiths
comment on Niebuhrs History OF Rome: Have
you heard OF Niebnhr's discoveries? ALI Roman
history reversed; Tnrquin turning out an excel
lent family man, and Lucretia q gery doubtful
character, whom Lady - would not have
"A rural editor, 1amenting the death Of "ons
OF the best advertisers and subscribers We evez
had" thus touchingly concludes his obituary
eu1ogy: He possessed the love, confidence,
and esteem of al who knew him, and some who
did not, and, save slight poker debt to a1r.
-, did not owe cent in tho world"
"A schoolgirl in one OF the rural districts of
Mass, was overheard trying to con.
vince schoo1-fallow that she liked him better
seemed Jealous. "Of course, like you better
than do Bill" said she, "for don't miss
words in my spelling lesson On purpose 80 as to =
be down to the foot of the clAss, where you
a-e7"
Mrs. Brown (whose daughter has just been
performing admirably on the piano-forte)- Do
your daughters play, Mrs. Jones?" hrs. Jones
whose four daughters have only been nstening)
No" Mrs: brown--"slng7" Mrs. Jones'
No." Mrs. Brown-Paint IN water colors7"'
arrs. Jones-"No; wa 80 in for beauty!" ~
A wife OF nearly ten years, having given her
servant holiday, WAS attending to culinary mat
ters herself, and, hearing her husband coming
IN the kitchen, thought she would surprise him
as soon as he entered the door BY throwing her
lands over his ewes aud imprinting kiss on his
brow, as in the days Of the honeymoon. The
husband returned the salute with intarest, and
!sked, as ha disengaged her hands, MARY, dar-
ing, where ia Jour mistress?" The wife dis
:harged "a Mary, darling" the next day, and has
4dopted new plan Of 90 surprising" her hus-.
Express.
This is the way Pulaski, Tenn, reporter
eports ball "Ne1t, We gaze on the lovely
Hiss A. D., in petite fille pleurs do Francais.
The perfection OF art, the ne plus ultra Of decorn~
ion, WAS reached in the elaborate get up 'pf
his sweet wanderer from the sky.' Her dress
Fas made Of orange-colored muslin delaine, with
;hite fixens elaborately 1ooped and embroidered
nth artificial flowers. Her hair was stupen- .
ously puffed and frizz1ed, and horticn1turnlly
rranged with sun-fowars did mp with dAtalias
opped in dew"
Owen Burgess, Of Danbury, is in the Bridge
ort JAIL 4 nice man, he is. Here Danbuty
as gone to work at great expense to build 4
andsozne brick jail, with hot aud cold water and
as, and put pinnacle and French roof On it,
nd done everything possible to furnish it with
be comforts OF q home, and this Burgess, this
1nu Who pretends to be Danbrrian and have
he interest OF his town at heart, goes OF to
atronize rival institution. That's = brilliant
'aJ to encourage home industry, that is Dan
usy Necs.