Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1873-07-23
Soldering Drunken Mana Successful
Experiment..

| Soldering Drunken Mana Successful
Experiment.
| He came in with an interrogation In
| one eye, and with stick in one hand.
| One eye was covered with a handkerchief
| and one arm was in a sling His bearing
| was that Of a man with a settled purpose
| in view.
| II want to see," said he, 'sthe man that
puts things into this paper"
| We intimated that several of us earned
| frugal livelihood in that way
"Well, | want to see the man which
cribs things out of the other papers. The
| fellow who writes mostly with shears, you
| understand" DOS za#
We explained to him that there we're
| seasons when the gifted among us, driven
| to frenzy by the scarcity of ideas and
events, and by the cIamorous demands Of
| an insatiate public, in moments of emo
tional insanity plunged the glittering
shears into our exchanges. He went on
calmly, but in a voice tremulous with sup
| pressed feeling, and indistinct through
| the recent loss Of half dozen or so of
| his front teeth
= Just SO. | presume so. [ don't know
much about this business, but want to
/ see man, the man that printed that little
/
mans spine of his back and making him
instantly sober. Ii you please, want to-
see that man. [ would like to talk with
him."
Then he leaned his stick against our
! desk, and spit on his serviceable hand, and
resumed his hold on the stick, as though
| he was weighing it. After studying the
stick aiminute, he added in somewhat
| louder tone:
Mister, / came here to see that 'ere
man. want to see him bad"
/ We told him that particular man was
not In. -a1slsa
"Just SO. I presume SO. They told me
before came that the man I wanted to
see wouldn't be anywhere. I'll wait for
him. L live up north, and I've walked
seven miles to converse with that man.
guess l'll sit down and wait"
He sat down by the door and reflective
| ly pounded the floor with his stick, but
his feelings would not allow him to keen
| still
i"Issuppose none of you didn't ever pour
much cold water down any drunken mans
back to make him instantly sober, per-
haps?" CdH fsa
None of us in the Office had ever tried
| the experiment.
''Just SO. l thought just as like as not
you had not. Well, mister, | have I
tried it yesterday, and have come seven
miles on foot to see the man that printed
/ it, just few minutes. You see, John
| Smith, he lives next door to my house
/ when Pm to home, and he gets how-come-
/ you-so every little period. Now, when
he's sober he's all right, if you keep out
of his way; but when he's drunk he goes
home and breaks dishes, and tips over the
stove, and throws the hardware around,
and makes it inconvenient for his wife,
and sometimes he gets his gun and goes
calling on his neighbors, and it amt pleas
| ant.
/ ''Not that I want to say anything about
Smith; but me and my wife don't think
he ought to do so. He came home drunk
yesterday, and broke all the kitchen win
dows out of his house, and followed his
wife around with a carving knife, talking
about her liver, and after while he lay
down by my fence and went to sleep. I
had been reading that little piece; it
: wasn't much of piece, and / thought if I
| spine on his back, and make him SOBER it
would be more comfortable for his wife,
and square thing to all around. So
poured bucket Of spring water down
John Smiths spine of his back"
"Well," said we, as our visitor paused,
"did it make him sober?'
| Our visitor took firmer hold Of his
stick, and replied with increased emo
ton:
"Just SO. I suppose it did make him
sober as judge in less time than you
could say Jack Robinson; but, mister it
made him mad 1t made him the mad
dest man ever see and Mr.. John Smith
is bigger man than me- and stouter. He
is good deal stouter. Bla-bless him, /
never knew he was half so stout till yes
terday, and he's handy with his fists, too.
[ should supp ose he is the handiest man
with his fists I ever saw"
"Then he went for you, did hep" we
said, innocently.
"Just SO. Exactly. [ suppose he went
for me about the best he knew, but | don't
hold no grudge against John Smith. [
suppose he amt good man to hold d
grudge against [ want to see the man
who printed that piece | want to see him
bad. I feel as though it would soothe me
to see that man. [ want to show him how
a drunken man acts when you pour water
down the spine of his back. That's what
I come for"
Our visitor, who had poured water
down the spine of drunken mans back,
remained until about six in the evening,
| and then went up street to find the man
that printed that little piece. The man
he is looking for started for Alaska last
evening for a summer vacation, and Will
not be back before September, 1873
Utica Herald.
| A GENERAL misapprehension seems TO
| exist in regard to the new coin Whlch was