St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1873-02-14
Humorous.

Humorous
he following neat toast waS prupoS-
ed on il recent occasion: The ladies -
their eyes kiudle the only flame against
which there Is no insurance.
The correct answer to the gentleman
who wrote the song. "WhN did mar
~ ?" would be '.Becausc Won met n
woman who wasa tirst-claSs fool"
y confused '.hc>t man" at il New
York fashion wedding. when it became
his duty I" hand the clergyman his fee
| pressed Il roll of grcemhackS into the
iIahd "i one "fthe guests, and murmur-
ing an acknowledgement. fled before the
astonIShed recipient could say a woId.
An investigating youth of fourteen.
from the country, recently took Il look
Ipa coal Shute at Elizabeth. y. j. just
then h" received Il three ton shower
bath. He waS considerably taken
back. and got his good clothes dusty.
but came out alive. and asked the man
ipulator> of the slide if they wanted TO
make IL fuel of him.
Nv" gentlemen were riding in Il stage
coach. when one of them missing his
handkerchief. l;lshly accused the other
of having stolen j. but soon finding
1t, had the good MANNERS to ber par
don t"l The alfIont. say ing that it was
IL mistake: to which the other rrplicd
with great readiness and kind feeling:
"Dont bc uneasy it MaS mutual mis-
take: y"u took me for Il thief and
took Hom for gcmtlcman.
\ h,,, 4 /
horses. until finally one of them put his
h""f i'll his face. He WAS carried in and
the doctor >rwcd up his lips and band
aged his eyes. and poulticcd his cheeks:
hui he putfcd Ip and laid abrd Il mum
her of days and when he began to yet
Il little better he called for Il locking
glass. and casting his eyes upon it his
c"untemamrc fell. "Fathcr. do YOU
think will ever hc ;" pretty again -
No. my son" the old man replied.
''y"u'll never be SO pretty again, but
You'll know II darIcd sight more
Edward 'iumm stole ii barrel of flour
from No. 22I East ThcmlN third street.
New York. on "Wednesday night, and
having deposited il safely in his house
returned tul another one. when he was
arrested and held tul trial. If he had
been content with being II single barrel
Gum he might have gone of without
being snapped hy IL p"liceman Now
it will probably he six months before
he will he discharged.
THE Misses FEET"-rhe core
sbondent of the New York Herah in
speaking of the Washington receptions,
reVivcs an Inecdotc connected with the
late senator Foot of this State. He
says 'the cabinet ladies' as they like to
call themselves. are at home on We'd
nc~iay. when they have the services of
the department messenger To open their
doors and to announce Visitors. Now
a-daN> these messengers are all of tie
African persuasion, but in ante bcIlum
they were of the Celtic race, and one of
them. who prdcd himselfom his gram
matical knowledge. on being told to
announce senator Foot and the Misses
Foot roarc'l ont 'Senator Foot aud the
Misses Feet"
y MAN WHO LIKES To LET HIS WIFE
BLOW. w.-Pa>>ing the corner of Market
and Front streets one afternoon the at
tcntlon of Il reporter was attracted to Il
novel sight III a cnpper>milh's shop
nothing less than Il woman. with sleeves
rolled up. working away at the bellows,
while the husband Justify >mote the
iron while it WAS hot. OF course il WIS
none of the reporters business. but still
he could not help asking the man why
Il woman WAS allowed To do such work.
The reply. accompanied with Il peculiar
>hiug of the shoulders. was "Oh, very
hard time now. and very lcctle money.
Ii> my wife. She like To blow | like
to let her blow. Mais. you don't belief
it, you go ask her Yourself" The re-
potter said he would take the old mans
word for it and departed San Frau
riScO Chronicle.