Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1873-09-20
EVERY NIGHT,

city council OF that town, upon return
ing home rather late one evening last
week, was regaled by his good lady with
an animated address in something like
this style:
"Every night! Here it is half-past
/ o'clock It's wonder you came
home at all ! What-do-you-think
-a-woman is made fori do believe
if q robber was TO come and carry mo
! off you would not care one cent. What
is it YOU say "City council business
must he attended to !" How do know
you 90 to the city council Does tho
CITY council meet every night They
don't meet but once in-New York,
But suppose Bowling Green is more
important place. Oh, yes-out every
night. Twelve o'clock-one o'clock
two o'clock. Here l stay with the chill
dren. all alone-lying awake half Of the
night waiting for YOU Couldn't come
home any sooner? OF course You
couldn't, if you didn't want to. But |
know something; You think don t,but
| do that I do. wish / didn't,
Where were you Monday night Tell
me that. The marshal told me that tho
City Council didn't meet that night.
Now what have you got TO sayf Gould
not get a quorum !" Well, :tfyou
couldn't, why didn't you come home
Out every night-hunting-for-a-
quorum. Bet YOU wouldn't hunt me IN
this way if was missing. Wherewere
you Thursday night and Friday night
There was a show in town wasn't there'
Do you always put on your best vest
and clean shirt 10 go TO Council
What did YOU buy that bottle of hair
oil for, and hide it "Oil for your
hone" indeed Who ever heard of
hair-oil for a milestone! SO you think
| didn't see you in the otherroom, brush
ing and greasing your hair. and looking
in the glass at your pretty self "a
mad ought to be decent !" He ought,
ought he ! Yes, indeed, a decent man
ought to be, and decent man will stay
at home with his wife sometimes, and
not be out every night. How comes
it that the City Council didn't meet but
twice a month last year I Trying to
work it ont of debt /" Yes that's prob
able-very laughing and joking, and
smoking and swapping lies will work
debt off, won't it? Now-I-want--
Observation-Disclosures
-to-keep- this-night--
business Il, Yes, want to know Out
every night City Council, Freema-
sons, Red Men, Odd Fellows, shows,
hair -oil-and it's brush and brush, until
you've nearly worn out the brush, and
your head, too. What is IL you say
at helps our business to keep mp your
social relations !" Ah, indeed. You've
cot relations here at home, sir. They
need keeping up some, think. What
did you say about catching il" the 9th
er night at euchre party "Fellers,
it's II o'clock, but let's plav a while
longer we won't catch it any worse
when we get home" A pretty speech
for decent man "Catch it !" "Catcll
it, Well, / intend You shall catch it
"A little. What's that you say "If
/ wouldn't fret you so, you would stay
at home more r. Well, sir, do you stay
at home few nights and try it. Per
haps the fretting would stop. Out every
night because | fret you so. What's
that sirl "You know ladies who amt
always scolding their husbands J You
do, do you How came you to know
them What business had you TO
know them ? What right have you TO
know whether other women fret or notf
That's always the way. You men think
all the other women are saints but your
wives.
Oh, yes-saints, saints I'll have
you to know, sir, that there isn't wo-
man in this town that's any more OF
saint than / am know them all, sir
heap better than you do. You SEQ
the sugar and honey side of them, and
they-only-see- the-boney-and--
sugar-side-of-you. Now, sir, Ijust
want you to know that if you don't stay
at home more than YOU do, III leave
these children TO get burnt up, and Ill
go out every night. When poor
woman gets desperate, why, sir, she is
desperate, that's all