The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1873-07-30
SHORT SPEECHES.

posed to exercise oppression on the
generality of mankind in general"
was pulled down to his seat with the
remark, "You'd better stop; you are
coming out of the same hole that you
went in at"
Daniel Webster was apt to over-in-
dulge himself at public dinners, but
managed when called upon to make
speech, if drief one.
On one occasion Webster finished
up with: Gentlemen, there's the ma
tional debit should be paid; yes,
gentlemen, it should be paid; I'll pay
it myself. How much is it?"
Sir Arthur Helps somewhere sug-
gests that clergymen would be more
successful in attacking the pockets of
their focks if they send round the
plates before, instead of after, the SER
mon, with the understanding that if
they gave literally they should be let
off from the sermon altogether.
M. Dupanloup, the eloquent bishop
of Orleans, preaching in behalf of the
workmen of Rouen, contented himself
with saying:
"This is no time for long sermons,
but for good works. You are &C.
qainted with the calamities of those
whose cause l have come this day to
plead. Once upon a time king,
whose name is still cherished by us,
said to his companions-in- arms, on
whom he thought with reason he could
rely: My good friends, 1 am your
king; you are Frenchmen. Yonder
is the enemy; let us march, l will
not address you in other words to-day
than these. l am your bishop you
are Christians. Yonder are, not our
enemies, but our brethren who suffer.
Let us flee to their succorw The re-
suit was the collection of more than
$4,000.
Edwin, once popular English ac-
tor, is credited with the authorship of
one of the briefest of sermons, his be-
ing: "Man is born to trouble as the
sparks fly upward" I shall consider
this discourse under three heads. First,
mans ingress into the world; second
ly, mans progress through the world I;
thirdly, mans egress out of the world.
And frst-Man's ingress into the
world is naked and bare. Secondly
His progress through it is trouble and
care. Lastly-His egress from it is
nobody knows where. If we do we'll
here, we shall do we'll there; I can
tell you NO more if preach a year.
The last time Justice Foster went
on the circuit, he dismissed the grand
, jury to their work with: Gentlemen,
the weather is extremely hot; l am
very old, and you are well acquainted
with your duty; practice it p
In an action for slander Justice
Creswell put the case to the jury in
these emphatic words: Gentlemen
, the defendant is foul-mouthed fellow
What damages ?" An example of ju-
dicial brevity only to be matched by
Baron Alderson's address to a con-
vinced prisoner who prayed that God
: might strike him dead where he stood
: if he were not innocent. After mo-
ment's silence, the judge sternly and
coldly said: "Prisoner at the bar, q;
: Providence has not interposed in be-
half of society, the sentence of the
court is, that you be transported fol
twenty years"
An American judge once intervened
in an odd way to prevent waste o.
words. He was sitting in chambers
and seeing from the piles of papers il
the lawyers hands that the first case
was likely to be hardly contested ht
> asked, "what is the amount in ques
ton ?" "Two dollars" said plaintiff
counsel. T'll pay it, said the judge
handing over the money. "Call the
next case"
He had not the patience of tacitarr
Sir William Grant, who, after listen
ing for a couple of days to the argu
ments of counsel as to the construc
: ton of an act, quietly observed, wheI
g they had done: "The act is repealed
An inquisitive French bishop ono
(. caught a Tartar in the Duke d.
Roquelaire. The latter, passing il
: haste through Lyons, was hailed b.
, the bishop with: chi HIP Th
duke stopped. "Where have yol
: come from?" inquired the prelate
! "Paris," said the duke. "What
there fresh in Paris ?" "Green peas.
"But what were the people sayinI
when you left?" "Vespers." "Good
ness, man." broke out the angry ques
toner, "who are you?-What are yo
called?" Ignorant people call m
Hi! Hi! Gentlemen term me tn
Duke de Roquelaire. Drive on, pos
y tillion"
One morning woman was show
into DR.. Abernethy's room; before h