American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-01-25

His heavy black mustaches curled away
| beneath his nose, and dropped in elegant
festOOns about his very toes. He hardly
ever spoke at all, but when such was the
| case, his voice. twas easy to perceive, was
quite a heavy bass.
He was not a serious pirate, and despite
his anxious cares, he rarely went to Sun
day School, and seldom said his prayers.
He worshiped lovely women, and his
hope in life was this To calm his wild,
rumultuous soul with pure domestic bliss.
When cOnversing with his shipmates he
very often swore that he longed to give
up piracy and settle down on shore. He
tired of blood and plumber, of the joys
that they could bring; he sighed to win
the love of some affectionate young thing.
One morning, as the Mary Jane went
bounding DER the sea, the pirate saw a
merchant bark far Oft upon his lee. He
ordered pursuit and spread all sail that
he could spare. and then went down, in
hopeful mood. to shIve and curl his hair.
He BACKED his boots, and pared his
nails, and tied fresh cravat; he cleaned
his teeth, pulled down his cuffs, and pol
ished up his hat; he dimmed with flour
the radiance of his fiery red nose, for,
hanging with some vessels wash, he spied
some ladies' hose.
Once more on deck, the strangers hull
he riddled with ball, and yelled: . L
say what bark is that?' In answer to
his call, the skipper on the other boat an
swered in thunder tones: This here's
the bark Matilda, and her Captains name
is JONES'
The pirate told his bold corsairs to man
the Jolly boats, to board the bark and
seize the crew and slit their larry Threats :;
and then to give his compliments to Cap
tain JOaes. and say he wished that he and
Mrs. Jones would come and spend the
day.
They reached the bark, they killed the
crew they threw them in the sea; and
then they sought the Captain, who was
mad as he could be, because his wiic-whO
saw the whole sad tragedy, it seems
made all the ship vOciferous with her out
rageous screams.
But when the pirates message came she
dried her streaming tears, and said. al
though she'd like to come, she had I'M
pleasant fears that, his social status being
very evidently low, she might meet some
common people, whom she wouldn't care
to know.
Her husbands aged father, she admit
ted. dealt in bones, but the family de-
and such blue-blooded people, that the
rabble might be checked, had to make
their social circle excessively select.
Before she visited him in the ship she
wanted him to say the Smythes had recog-
nized him in social, friendly way; did
the JOnSOnS ever ask him round to their
ancestral halls? Was he noticed by the
ThOmsons? Was he asked to Simms'
balls?
The pirate wrote that Thomson was his
best and Oldest friend; that he had
stopped at Jonson's when he had a week
to spend. AS for the Smythes, they wor-
ried him with their incessant calls his
very legs were weary with the dance at
Simms' balls.
(The scoundrel fibbed most shameless
ly. In fact he only knew a lot of Smiths
without "a most plebian crew. His
Johnson used vulgar h, his Thompsons
spelled with p, his Simses had but one m,
and they were common as could BEL
Then Mrs. Jones mussed up her hair
and dOnned her best delaine, and went
with Captain Jones aboard the schooner
Mary Jane. The pirate won her heart at
once by saying, with smile, he never
seen a woman dressed with such exquisite
style.