Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-06-29
BALL ROOM ETHICS.
A Few Pictafes Of Society Manners
sHNs In London Salons.

| Something of the Courtesy and Dis
Courtesy Of English FashiOnahles
| illustrating R<tsish Etiquette.
Fashionable society is pretty much the
Same thing all the world over, and without
any cynical exsggeration of the truth, So
ciety people are everywhere just as rude
hollow and hypocritical as they are at home
Rudeness indeed and indifference to little
matters of etiquette, which ara never VIC
lated by people of true refinement, seems t.
be the prevailing sin in ssociety." An en-.
tertalning writer is contributing a series Of
articles upon "Bslls in London Society" tC
the New York Home Journal, which ex
hibits very clearly the prevalence of dis
courtesy among the fashionables of the
British capital and presents incidental verJ
interesting sketch Of society manners in the
| London world. Balls, he remarks, it may
safely be said are given more for young
women than young men. The difficulty Of
securing the attendance of men who will
dance is in itself sufficient proof of this.
And to girl a London season is, as has
been said, much what going to school is to
a boy. A girl is taught to fight her own
battles, to develop her own idiosyncrasy, to
Her rough edges-may the goddess of fe-
male perfection pardon the phrase!-are
knocked Off. The most remarkable differ.
ence in character may be observed be-
tween Dee a
THE DEBUTAEsE IN HER FIRST SEASON
And she who has been out for two or three
years. Shyuess, difiidence want of self
confideLce have vanished; and in their place
are tact and sauoir Jdire. Just as, howev-
er, in 10y, going TO school, viii develop
bad qualities as well as good, SO in a girl a
London season viii bring Unto prominence
many fault which, were it not for repeat
ed mixings with society, would, perhaps,
lie hid. CoDceitedness, rudeness, what is
usually called "being fast" vanity-are all
faults which are encouraged by bal-going,
On the other hand, the notifications which
sensitive CIR sometimes undergo in Lon
don season, are such as to act as salutary
training on certain minds, even though they
blur the couLear de rose which may preyi-
onsly have seemed TO shine DER the world.
Assuredly it is time of no slight anxiety
for mother when she takes her daughter
out for her first season. -..-
The principle which ought to regulate the
social intercourse of men and women is
courtesy to the latter; and this principle is
not nowadays sufficiently carried out. One
instance In proof of this assertion is obvious.
A lady or man who does not wish to re-
eeive visitors has the privilege of making
The servant say that she or he is not at
home, without implying anything more
whatsoever than that they do not wish to
accept visit. The girl who is asked to
dance at ball has no such privilege. Men
are, as has been said, at a premium at balls,
and a most gross result has been brought
about, that at the starting Of girls career
it Is more or less an honor for her to be
asked TO dance. Though, therefore, the
hdbit0e OF London bathrooms may refuse
the would-be partner of whom see may not
approve, the deblJtGate must accept all those
who offer themselves, st
THE KLsK OF BEING LEFT BLOOMING
ALONE.
There ought TO be some such Recognized
answer as "not at home, y which merely i'm
plies 81 don't want to dance this dance"
As 1t is there is none. Aud what hsppens?
An obtrusive man, who will not take no for
an answer, seekst permission to dance a
valse with a young lady. She pleads ia
tigue, heat, or headache. BE will not &C
cept the excuse, and bis Importantly ends
in her dancing against her will. A sensitive
man, difideDt aud uLobtrusive, asks SIM
liar question, and receives similar answer.
Thinking that the objection Is only to him.
self, be bows and Ietires; and sometime af-
terward finds himself in great scrspe be-
cause be has'never asked that young lady
to dance again. Sometimes, to the shame
be it said of young ladies, where the old
fashioned plan, now almost entirely out of
vogue, is adopted of having Programmes,
two cards are used, one for undesirable
partners TO write their names upon, one to
be shown when an undesirable gentleman
claims his dance. This is only one of the
uncomfortable plans adopted by young la
dies to escape from. hhe difficulties entailed
upon them by the want Of such an evasiye
answer has been described,
Girls have sometimes q great
DIFFICULTY IN REMEMBERING THEIR EN-
GAGEMENTS.
aThis is my dance, think?" 'Oh no,
l assure you, it is the next" Ii when the
next comes a third fgurant asserts his
rights the unfortunate young person is in
desperate di,emms, and runs the risk Of Of
Tending one or other of thu claimants. Men
who are engaged to two partners for one
dance, can siways cut the 'iordian knot by
dancing with third. But women have not
such privileges. No man, therefore, ought,
if be has auy manners, to be annoyed by
one or even two refusals in ballroom. A
refusal, indeed, may ne so marked, and
given in so plain manner, that he would
be a fool to renew his request, but men
are equally fools VINO get huffy at being ac-
cidently thrown over. For who can re-
member with accuracy series of engage
ments for "the next square but two," or
s'the third round dance after supper"
The conversation of ball room has per-
haps met aish mole severe criticism than
any means of interchangipg ideas. If it is
remembered thai every ball room CONVEX
sation is limited, first by the necessity of
dancing, and secondly by the necessity of
''Dot staying away too lOrg from mamma"
it does not seem as if much ought to be ex-
pected. There is DO time for depth of dis
cussion during q square" or during the
intervals of ground" ''Sitting OUT in
deed, generally conduces to conversation,
which sometimes is of an exceedingly in
tereSting nature; but sitting out is generally
the privilege of old friends, who need no
stimulus to quiet and agreeable talk. 1t
must be in the nature of things extremely
difficult to begin, carry on, and finish
conversation worth anything with about
twelve different people in one night. As
soon as you have got beyond the opening
sentences il is time TO leave off. The first
orthodox questions, as to the opera, the
weather, the park, the last ''new thing" are
like prelude 10 c piece of music, or the
first few mOves In game Of chess. They
are unavoidsble, but useless. No one can
PLUNGE INTO A MANIFESTATION
Witha stranger, or the acquaintance of a
week, at once. JUST as good swordsmen
spend some time in feeling 6snir adverse
ries' strength, so even good talker will
find it necessary to test the powers, of his
companion. Were it not so, the mos. alb
surd results wclld take place, and Won
might find yourself plunging into gossiping
conversation with blue-stocking, or discus
singMili with her whose soul is in the valse.-
On the whole, il seems doubtful whether,
except from its brevity, ballroom converse
ton is much worse than the conversation
Of other times. It lacks, indeed, tin3
enough to become developed, and it is al :
ways being commenced de moro; but many
clever things are said in ballroom, and
the foundation Of many al important idea
or phase of mind is laid during the music
of dance.
IL has been much remarked during the