The Van Buren press., 1873-05-27
THOSE POSTAL CARDS.
The New Way Of Finding Out TAings.
Open Lsttcrs to the Wora-Postags One
Cem-Soms Dismal Jokes.
Crrom st. Louis Republican,

| from ST. Louis Republican.
That new device of Postmaster ( Gens
raj Creswel, the postal cards, went into
circulation yesterday As they have been
somewhat deliberately described in the
Washington special dispatches for the
last several weeks, it is not necessary to
go into particulars here. Besides, near
ly everybody has seen them, and knows
how to describe them himself But for
a general description it might be said
that they are designed for the distribu-
ton Of intelligence among the masses at
one-third Of the usual rate. You can
write almost anything you please on a
postal card, so that it isn't too long
that is to say, the article that is written.
But there are some things which do not
read well on postal card Take for in
stance large boarding house, where the
land lady takes care Of the mail until the
boarders call for it. This sometimes
makes the diffusion ofintelligence among
the masses trtle too dilIuse for COM
fort The postmau comes to the door
with an aymful Of postal cards The
iandlady relieves him OF the burden, goes
in and sits down and begins to sort them
over for the various boardcrs Present
ly she strikes one which reads thus.
ST. LOUIS, May II.
MY Dear IHeop.-Come to night !,
half past ten. Side gate open. Bull
dog chained up in the basement. Light
in the window for you.
Yours sweetly l.. BL
Landlady turns to the other side ofthe
card. She reads the superscription
Mr THEopHiLUs MuFFLEcnEEK,
No. 1894 Hash Avenue, City.
Landlady rests her cheek on her left
hand and muses. pdstm, Landlady solas'
j "Wel now, did | ever? Who'd a
thought that Mr.. Mufilecheek was that
kind OF man. Came here, too, with the
highest references from his last place.
Pays his board regularly every Saturday
at tea. Belongs to our church, too "
Reads again "Halt-past ten--dear
me, and l always thought he went to bed
regularly at half fpast nine, Bulldog
chained up in the basement! Well, |
never! III keep a little watch of Mr..
Mufllechosk, I'll expose him before the
church. "
Then she draws long sigh and pro.
ceeds with another card. Reads:
ST. Louis, May II.
Sir: l have now waited four weeks for
the balance on that suit of clothes need
the money. Must have it Monday.
Yours, NlMBLENEEDLE.
Turns to the superscription and
reads
Mr.. JEROME b. SUNFLowER,
No 1875 Hash Avenue.
"Wsll if | ever heard the like in my
life Mr.. Sunflowor is such nice gen
tlsman. And he uses such elegant per
fumery. Let me see he owes for two
weeks board. Told me this morning he
was expecting check from home. |
must 90 to his room and see how much
baggage he has. Dear me, folks are so
unaccountable
Comes to another Reads:
My Dear Spriggins Just deposited
four hundred to your credit in the
Twelfth National. Drpw OIL me at sight
for the bslmilfl Yor" BIZ *.
a5h finish up J here J.Iisg, isl| you. Ys
Ntts.'iS075 Fs.h Ave'',At "'n'
Gracious me show .nnch like nrS.
Sprggins' own handwriting that is.
Singular that two persons should write
50 nearly alike. Let me see Mr., Sprig.
gins told mo he expected some money
to day.
Enter spriggins: Good afternoon,
madam.
Landlady: Here is postal card for
you
Sprig On yes. Reads to him
self That's ali right. By-tho- way
madam have YOU money enough in the
house to cash a fity.dollar check Its
after banking hours, and ! just received
4 telegram from Kansas City, and must,
90 on the night train.
Landlsdy; I'll 90 right away and look
in my bureau drawer | reckon ] can
accommodate you Landiady returns
with roll Of bills
Sprig Here, I'll just include that
three weeks board in the check and make
seventy five Balance will be fifty.
Landlady counts out fifty, which Sprig.
thrusts into his vest pocket, goes up
stairs, gets his valsc and starts to catch
the train for Kansas City. LandIady
will discover to morrow that the similar
ity between Mr. Spriggms' handwriting
and that on the postal card ism t such n
singular circumstance after all.
1t only cost Spriggins one cent to raise
the wind These postal cards are an in
calculable convenience to the toiling
masses
VARIATION
Postman rings at a modest looking
mansion on Locust street. Servant girl
comes to the door Postal cards for the
master of the house, who has only been
married couple Of years. Servant girl
delivers the postal cards to young wife,
Young wife reads
ST. LOUIS. May II.
Depr Jse: will he at corner Twelfth
and Pine, hack, half pist nine. First
class party of boys. BE on hand Half
sa., nine sharp. Wake 'em up. o X.
Young wife lays down the postal cards
and elcvates her eye. brows Mr.. Cres.
wells cheap method Of dffusing intelIi
pence has let flood Of new light in
upon her mind.
| Young wife, soIus: So this Is the club
is it? Riding around town in hacks all
night with party of first class boys.
Oh dear. Oh dear" Then she weeps co.
piously and sighs deeply. She will 60
| Al, 81 Il