The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1873-11-20
Billingsisnls.
ArAzv man IL a 1ivinu RI

A LAZY man il a living corpse.
It il brave man who IL willing teW
die when hiz forth IL at the highest.
The chances are that he who il anxious
tew liv hiz life over again il the very one
who haz spent it foolishly, and probably
would do it again.
None but the ill-bred ridikule the peku
liaritys Ov others.
A covetous man il alwuss kontriving
how he kan cheat himself out ov sum
thing more.
Most people are honest for the sake o,
keeping others honest.
Thare is 9 kinds ov kuriosity, one
prompts person tew find out things be
kause they are sekret, the other bekause
they may be useful.
Idle kuriosity IL moral itch.
All things that we need we kan eazily
git.
We are all dissatisfied with our con
dishun, but if each one ov us should
change places with our nabor, we should
want tew swop back tomorrow.
Elegant Accomplishments may make 9
woman admired bi the world, but it il the
domestic virtews that endear her tew bel
husband.
Two enemies to one friend IL about the
rite dose tew make a man successful.
Mankind make most all the ackcidents
that happen.
Thare are but phew men who kan in
f1uence others bi precept, but there arr
none but what can do it bi example.
The only sensible time tew be happy
il n0,o; the crate bulk of humanity arr
going tew be happy week after next.
Thare il only one way tew tell the truth
but thare is upward ov IS ways to tell thu
same lie.
Epitaffs hav made more people famous
than virtew ever haz.
1t il just az eazy tew pull up weed b
the rutes az it il tew kut it Oph-so it il
az eazy tew remove a vice az tew kor
rekt it.
Two-thirds ov the pity in this world il
nothing more than sekret satisfakshun
that sumboddy is wuss oph than we are
l hav alwuss notissed that there IL q
CRATE deal ov good LUX in industry, and a
crate deal ov bad luck in lazyness.
He who il every boddys friend, haint
got time tew be emmy boddys.
When l hear man say that he has
got no friends" kun tew the konklu.
sion, rite oph, that he don't deserve emmy.
One recon viii happiness is so skarse in
this world IL bekause most people mis-
take plezzure for happiness.
Trew generosity konsists in giving what
you kan afford to thoze who deserve it.
Mi yung friend look out for them men
who shut up one eye, and talk to yu with
the other.
Happiness seems to consist in-wanting
nothing.
Health will bring mummy, but mummy
wont bring health.
When hope dies in a man he IL az dark
inside az an old tin lantern, whoze kandle
haz gone out.
l think man should hav leetle vine-
gar in hiz disposishun, just enuff tew
keep the flies off
A phool il like a hornet, he IL jist az
like tew sting friend az pho.
The modern interpretashun of the cele-
brated maxim. "kn0 hyse!f" IL, "mind
yure own bizzness."
Men are strong just in proporshun az
they kan do one thing well, and weak
just in proporshun that they kan do
menny things indifferently.
He that luvs little children cannot be a
very bad man.
A competency may be defined az the
amount a man IL competent tew git.
One ov the gratest plezzures in this life
il to hav plenty to do, and then do it.
Philosophy seems tew be the art ov
taking all things just az they cum, and
when they git reddy tew 60, let them
went, without any fuss.-Josh Billings,
IN N. y Weekly.