The weekly Shasta courier., 1873-08-16
WIT AND HUMOR.

A lady asked her doctor if he did not
think the small bonnets the ladies wore
had tendency to produce congestion
of the brain. "Oh, no" replied the
doctor; +" -romen who have brains don't
wear them.'
Ibid you ever 60 to military
ball :" asked lisping maid of an old
veteran. "No, my DEAR" growled the
the old soldier. sin those days l once
had military ball come to me. And
what do you think it did: 1t took my
leg off,
A raw countryman, gazing at a gar
den in the vicinity of Boston, in which
were several marble statues, exclaimed:
"Just see what a waste Here's no
less than six scarecrows in this ten-foot
patch, and one of them would keep the
crows from a fve-acre lot ~
Recently lady had to be conveyed
out of London ballroom in COM
plete state of prostration, which turned
out to have been caused by the poison
Gus particles emanating from a green
robe she wore. Powerful antidotes had
to be employed to recover her. The
most powerful was the whisper, by a
friend, that her false hair was coming
off.
"I had more money than he had to
carry on the suit" said very mean in
dividual who had just won lawsuit
over a poor neighbor, land that's
where l had the advantage of him.
Then had much better counsel than
he, and there | had the advantage of
him. And his family were sick while
the suit was pending, so he couldn't at
tend to it, and there had the advant-
age of him again. But, then, Brown
is a very decent sort of man, after
all" "Yes,' said his listener, land
there's where he has the advantage of
YOU
An Iowa postmaster whose income is
Sl2 year, constructs words out of ink
in the following curious shape: "to
the gineral postmaster at Washington
City my Deare friend hope you will
not appint me postmaster in this here
town hain't got no time to tend to it i
suppose you got the paper somehow my
friends sent up Reckominden me but i
hain't got time to do the thing up as it
ort too be done In fact l don't know
hardly what is goin to be done our
shoemaker would be very good man
only he was Grely square but which you
know onfts him for the position then
there is our storceeper jim B that
wants the position mighty bad but as
shure as your livin man Jim B
kant read good writin and that's the
trouble You see them that wants it
don't know enuf to tend it and them
there that does don't want to take it
Jim B. was rased out in the country
and jest come to town last week and
don't know enuf to be postmaster but
do as you think best onlo don't appint
me l hain't got time ever your friend )"
etc.
A Cornish clergyman having dis
pute concerning several shares in diff
ferent mines, found it necessary to send
for London lawyer, to have some con-
versation with the witnesses, examine
the title-deeds, view the premises, etc.
The divine very soon found that his le-
gal assistant was as great scoundrel
as ever was struck off the rolls. How
ever, as he thought his knowledge
might be useful, he showed him his pa
pers, took him to compare the survey
or's drawing with the situation of the
pits, etc. When on one of the excur-
sions, the professional gentleman was
descending deep shaft by means of a
rope, which he held tight in his hand,
he called out to the clergyman who
stood at the top: doctor, as you
have not confined your studies to geog-
raphy, but know all things from the
surface to the center, pray how far is it
from this to the bottomless pit in the
internal regionss" q cannot exactly
ascertain the distance" replied the d.
vine, I" but let go your hold and you
will soon know"