davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
An AnecdOte of THEIRS.

Apropos of M. Theirs, very amusing
story is going the rounds of Paris now,
said to have been told of himself by the
President at one of his last receptions.
M. Theirs was walking one morning late
ly alone in the new camp which he has
established near Versailles at Villeneuve
PEtang. He saw soldier stationed on
guard and at the moment vigorously en-
gagged in eating bread and cheese.
GOOD morning, mon garcon," SAID NJ
Theirs.
Good morning, ma petite eielze" (my
little old woman), replied the soldier
och bien! You don't get tired, do you
Of your camp life?"
THAT depends on the hour. At pres
ent not. am Off duty, and am eating
my bread and cheese, as you see.
"And the camp bread, it's good, ism
it? find it far superior to that they
gave us before"
"Tiens! Do you eat it? What are you
thenl Are you an oil merchant or 6
hospital nurse:"
Better than that" replied NJ. Theirs
"Bah! Then you're second heuten
ant"
"Better than that"
"Captain?'
Better than that"
"General."
''Better than that; I'm the President o.
the Republic"
"You are Tiers! lSacreJ7eu! Their
quick, hold my bread and cheese so car
present arms to you"-Iarss Cor. ". =
World.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

A Madrid dispatch Of the Sd says that
Senior CASTELAR, threatens to resign unless
the Ministry adopt more decisive and en-
ergetic policy. His colleagues hesitate to
interfere in the conflict between the people
and municipality of the capital. The popu-
lar leaders declare the corporation response
Bile for future events. The Carlists are
reported to have shot sixty prisoners at
Berga.
A Vienna dispatch Of the Sd states that
the Emperor had given his sanction to the
Electoral Reform bill. The announcement
was made in the Reichrash, and received
with prolonged cheers.
The French Assembly on the 4th elected
NJ Louis Joseph Buffet President, utce NJ.
Grevy, resigned.
George Bidwel1 and Edward Noyes, who
were arrested in London on charges of
completely in the frauds on the Bank OF
England, were subsequently released on
filing bonds for their future appearance.
The Parliament of New South Wales has
voted 100000 to aid immigration.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
Balance of interest paid by the United

A terrific tornado visited Canton, Miss,
on the 2sth ult., unroofng and tearing
down buildings, and injuring many per-
sons. The damage to the town of Canton
was estimated at 100000. Much Injury
was done in the surrounding country. The
town of Franklin, Tenn, has also suffered
severely from similar visitation.
The Indiana State Temperance Conven-
ton assembled at Indianapolis On the I'd,
and was largely attended. After an organi-
cation was effected, general discussion en-
sued as to the best method of enforcing the
new Temperance law A series of resolu-
tions was reported.
vention at Springfield on the I'd. The at
tendance was very large, seventy-three
counties being represented by two hun
dred and ninety one delegates. D. w. Dame,
of Carroll County, was chosen permanent
President. A resolution was adopted con-
demning the action of the Representatives
in Congress for their action in voting for
the bill increasing salaries, and the Presi-
dent of the United States for signing the
same. A series of resolutions was reported
and adopted declaring that the safety of
republican institutions demands that char
tered monopolies be regulated by law; that
the railroads should be made public high
WAYS, open to general traffic and reasonable
rates, and connecting with each other
throughout the State; sustaining those who
refuse to pay more than the legal fare, and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
Sum Oy Josh Billings Private Opin
YunS.

Mi private opinyun iz-that the man
who cheats NE IL good deal mi infe-
riOr.
liz like bad eg, all the wuss for being
cracked.
Mi private opinyun iz-that manufakt-
ring plum for other pholks' amusement
IL Ike Matching out egs, a sober, stiddy
bizzness.
Nj private opinyun iz-that the most
us how little we kno.
Mi private opinyun iz-that when a
man haint got emmy thing tew say, then
liz the best time not tew say it.
Mi private opinyun iz-that sum men
did aktually spring from the monkey, and
didn't hav fur teW spring neither.
My private opinyun of Rum iZ-that
the man who sells it to his fello man il
wuss than hiwayman-the hiwayman
demands yure mummy or yure life-the
rumseller demands both.
Mi private opinyun ov Adam iz-that
without emmy experience at all, in run
ming the machine, he dun iist az well az
the man ov day would do, let him step
into Paradise to morrow.
Mi private opinyun of sparkling IL
that az rekreashun it IL delightful, but
when it settles down into stiddy biz
ness it IL like hash three times day,
rather MKT phood.
Nj private opinyun iz-that the man
who mistakes surly temper for superior
intelligence IL like toothless kur, who
got whipt in his last fife, and il going
tew get lickt in his next one,
IN hot
man oftner neglekts hiZ genius for saw
ing wood than he does for writing poetry.
Mi private opinyun iz-that adversely
and temtashun are the very best kind ov
tests ov virtew
Mi private opinyun ov braggart IL
that ne IL sheep in VOLTS clothing.
Mi private opinyun ov boys iz-if i
hadn't been one once miself, and tuff
one at that, i should feel like sending
the whole ov them, for life, to Botany
Bay.
Mi private opinyun ov girls 1.-THE
same az it waz forty years ago, when
fust phell in luv with one ov them.
Mi private opinyun ov the mass ov
mankind iz-that they hav got more
branes in their hearts than they hav in
their beds, and amt sorry for it
neither.
Mi private opinyun iz-that politeness
haz won more sudden viktorys than logic
haz
Mi private opinyun ov dogs iz-that
their affeckshun ought almost tew make
them immortal.
Mi private opinyun ov mule iz-that
he never waz known tew hit emmy thing
he couldn't reach, but il alwus reddy tew
try it.
Mi private opinyun ov miself iz-that
while keep both eyes on mi nabor hope
they wont fail tew keep one eye on me-
". 7. Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
A WOman's Marvellous Escape.

The Montreal (Canada) papers describe
an appalling spectacle which was wit
messed during the recent burning Of the
st. James Hotel in that city. A woman
appeared at the fifty story window, call
ing in the most frantic and heart-rending
terms for assistance. The room she oc-
cupied was full of smoke and all retreat
from 1t save by the window was cut off.
Firemen and spectators hurried away to
fetch ladders, but it was no easy thing to
find such as would reach that window.
Meantime to escape suffocation she crept
bravely out and hung by her hands from
the window sill, the whole support for
her naked feet being small ledge ofstone
above the window below, projecting from
the wall little over an inch. Bedding
nd all sorts of material were piled by the
spectators on the pavement below, to
break her fall, which was momentarily
expected. People stood in breathless
suspense as she hung in this perilous
position for full twenty minutes, while
the pitchy smoke rolled out of the little
room she had left, and the roaring flames
were steadily eating their way toward her
hand. at the very first flash of flame
through that window, it was evident that
her wonderful endurance would avail her
no longer: she must fall. At last the lad
ders came and were run up. An invol-
untary groan escaped from the anxious
multitude as it was found that they
would not reach her by thirty feet!
Another ladder, however, was brought
and spliced, and the populace held their
breath till she was seen placing her feet
on the rungs, when their pent-up feelings
found vent in loud and prolonged cheer
ing AS Johanna O'Connell came safe
down the ladder, the flames poured
through the dizzy perch she had just left,
and as soon as she reached the ground
unframed the wonderful nerve that had
saved her life, gave way and she tainted
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

SCENE in Cleveland street car: En-
ter lady with pet poodle. Conductor
politely informs her that no dogs are per-
mitted in the car. Lady quietly takes
her seat and says nothing. Conductor
again approaches, and informs her with
considerable determination that unless she
deposits her dog on the roadway he will
not be responsible for any broken bones
Lady arises calmly from her seat, draws
revolver from her pocket, and taking de-
llberate aim at the conductor says: Gun
less you drive on without molesting my
dog, I'll make you eat this straw" Con-
ductor subsidies, and the lady with her
poodle proceed quietly to their destina-
ton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

Inc letters italicized are letters which
easily recall the words fue, taco, too. ste,
totu), one; sac, three seueas;. flee, aao)o, and
Secen.
or again, if we put A for 1, B for 2, G
Tor 8, and SO on, the following couplet on
young lady just coming out" will
serve equally well:
Each Beauty's Bloom Forth Dawns Apace;
FIT Caution Guards Each Beauty's Grace.
Here f in Fit means 6; and the 9th of
July is Sunday.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
Wake Up the s..

When the physical energies aro,. Of
comes lethargic, it may be taken ia. =, NJ
digestion is impaired and the !iysr5. ca
Upon the condition OF the stona,s en-
the condition of the blood, All s3e :,
that fluid depends the vtgor Of Tia b. &C
pacity for brain labor. It Is, thereto. d
Importance to men engaged in g., ne
are subject to attacks of bodily rs,,,.
stupor or Indifference, to knowf-7r~ 8
can obtain immediate and perz,,.- e.
tonic and anti-bi!ious st!mula.lur ..- 9
in Hostetter's Stomach Bitterg nse-g.. !.
genial preparation TO cases Of It's d
ty with which it rouses the dor~.r, II
muscular and nervous system is MIN ,e
first upon the digestive org2rs. an 81
upon the fluids of the body, the re7s ~
it renovates, rcfreshes and regEas e{
corporal powers but the mind !tse ,tl
its usual concomitant. mental t9-7r %
are often caused, and where thsrE. *
always aggravated, by the damn z -
er prevalent in the spring months, ,e e
stamina and weak nerves should eo.~ s..
of this agreeable stiTnC1ant at his s
deed would derive great adyln,s.- IS
at least once day throughout ths7s #
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

CoNsUMPTION.-For the cure of this dis
tressing disease there has been no medicine
yet discovered that can show more evidence
of real merit that Aliens Lung Balsam. This
unequaled expectorant for curing consump-
ton, and all diseases leading to it, such as
affections of the throat, lungs, and all dis
eases of the pulmonary organs, is introduced
to the suffering public after its merits for the
cure of such diseases have been fully tested
by the medical faculty. The Balsam is, con-
sequently, recommended by physicians who
have become acquainted with its great sue
cess,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

tiers are always inscribed in red or black
paint, save in time of mourning, when
blue Is employed. Lanterns form an i'm
portant adjunct in all professions, idol
atrous, hymeneal, and funereal; and on
such occasions the larger the lantern the
more imposing is its effect considered.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

An EXTENDED PoPULARITY.-Each year
finds "BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs'' in
new localities in various parts of the world.
For relieving Coughs, Colds and Throat
Diseases, the Troches have been proved re-
liable.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
a New FpooH

Reason 4 Snr e, Eso .; nnro.Ns
the discovery of tho :. Say;
herbs" In these NV sElfioes q 8
and experiment havooa efa
that reason and so5 pertees
W. MAL .S;, VIsEeAER, I Rst1et
est result of botqI,icsan1 Il11aa =
pharmaceutical scies St 'lGso
nary medicine, COM Se' , ID IS
etab L ingredients , a .,Sss5 e pit,
our Pacific Territ,orruu' leo tIoa
remedy for every dis i, Np r, Z
of the stomach, the 4 liza aa9 s
respiratory system tt' b, &
the machinery of lifa A2: viii !
messed its effects are rel IN Al AIsa /
versal adoption as the :. :FH
liable tonic known. I F >sles ID
OF alcohol, it is nevertb ,5e tIoq !
though not a danger ssa Z
thing is certain-n0 cus t3Q,s
introduced to the n TItIaiGe !
press, has ever obtai6e5S ii;
time, the celebrity Of D. !, n
IFoRNIA VINEGAR BlT1s,n. :
ported by such unimpeadhh.'sS1 2
From that testimony it it t u j
this preparation is a >nso5s 4 4
STA, Nervous DEBILITY i'' u. /.
Bilious Remittent Fever, IN v !,
EMERY, Rheumatism, Gar! /
turbances Of the secratiT4
functions.
DIR. A. JOHNSON, one Of = !
full practitioners of his linz s-' I.
is now called Jobuxo,.'l
The great success Of hi. ~.
OF Bronchitis and all disc.
lungs, viii make The nam -
less favorably, if less Wi5s,-
that of Louis Napoleon.
THE pubic are hereby -,
the columns OF this pare - GSs
gdti0e Plus contain no iniI5ri ~, :
that they may be admins, ,
and the most weak and sb.t,.
tions in small doses, with W..
SUCCESS $50
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
Carrying the Calendar.

Mr.. W. W. Skeat, in Notes and Queries,
writes:
The easiest way of carrying in the
memory a calendar for a year is by OBJ
serving the day of the month on which
the first Sunday falls. Thus, the know
ledge of the fact that the first Sunday in
January, 1878, is the 5th, enables one to
tell the day of the week corresponding to
each day of January with sufficient readi-
ness. For the year 1878, one has, there
fore, merely to remember these numbers
following, where arrange the months
by threes
522 ,641;
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10
522,641
637,527.

For this purpose the following lines
may serve as naenaoria technical:
Ftre Ta0isters Taoisting Sir For one
Str Threads Seem Fine To Sever:
Ihese words will show the days of Sun
Each month"; you be clever
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

CRIsTADoRo's EXCELSIOR HAIR DYE is rhe
most sure and complete preparation of its
KIND In the world; its effects are magical, its
during.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

ASK for Prussing's Cider Vinegar and take
no other. Warranted Pure. Preserves
Pickles,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

LIKE LIGHTNING are the Miraculous Cures effect
ed with Faces INSTANT RELIEF. Aches, Pains,
this great medicine is used Relief warranted, or
money returned
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

THE LAW prohibiting minors from play
ing billiards is strictly enforced at In
dianapolis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

VEGETABLE PULMONARY BALsAM, doubt
less the best Cough Medicine in the world"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

ARTHUE'S HOME Nae d
April number of the EIutr |
contains a large amount 0. d
instructive reading matter, a1l .
lions. Relies of a Traditiora.A- II
pirate Illustrations, and "Sar q
with full-page illustration, are zig
besides which are some eycelEta q
editorials, health items, bou:alsIs j
all useful and good. Terms, & 81
for six months, with g redGeeI Z
copy of the beautiful steel s-g Is
Christian Graces,' sent free to q Z,
whether single in clubs All1S
& Son, Philadelphia, Pa. 2
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

BEST AND OLDEST FAMILY NEa
LiUeT Itri10rdtOT-a purGly Fegeta
T0Hic-for Dyspepsia. ConSti at.
Headache. Bilious Attacks. ana a-i
Liver, Stomach and Bowels. Ash y
it. BelcaYe Of limitations.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

THE LITTLE C0RPoRAL.-
inviting contents of the April G1m'
page illustration, THE Early Son-.
viii. of Mrs. Miller's serial, "JGt
Cyl" "A Very Old Time School
ard, with illustration; Chapter u
Treasure" by Mary A Denise
Olive Thorne, with ILLUSTRATION;
"Kitty's Fairy Treasure" and s57S
ries, poems, etc. The price Of The
is $3.50 a year, with two bss.
0 each subscriber on receipt q
postage. Published b. JoHN I
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

IT Is WE'LL TO GET CLEAR OF ,
Cold the first week. but il Is sale' !.
of it the first forty eight hours-!l:g--
for the purpose being Dr.. Jayles =
If YOU have Chills and Fever, OF AZ, i.
and Ague. take Shallenberger's AI,I-"
DOCTORS bill. Every druggist has il
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-04-10

The CHILDREN'S HOUR
many good things in the way Of |:
etc, in the April number Of tLs
magazine, which is not inferior,l
tiveness, to any preceding issgs
The Childre7a's Hour are: $l..52
les, S.; ten, and one extra, SO; e..
are offered to getters-up Of club
81 Son, Philadelphia, Pa.
Pioche daily record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1872-1876, 1873-05-16
Eastern Dispatches.

New HAVEN, May IA.
The National Encampmsnt of the G..
A. r. met at noon, General Burnside,
President After the transaction of the
routine of business, Burnside made a
brief address congratulating the Encamp-
ment on the growth and prosperity of the
Order. He declined to be o candidate for
reelection. 1t was voted to hold the
next session at Harrisburg.
At meeting Of the Cavalry Corps As
sociation, Sheridan President, the society
adopted the old Constitution on the rec
ommendation Of the committee, and voted
to continue its old name. The officers of
last year were reelected and the place
and time Of meeting will be the same rs
the Army of the Potomac.
At the meeting of the Sixth Army
Corps, in the absence of General Wright,
General Shaler presided. Shaler was
elected President for the ensuing year.
Atthree o'clock the society Of the Army
of the Potomac gathered at Music Hall,
which was gaily decorated. The floor
was filled with members of the society
and the galleries were packed with spec.
tators. Shortly after the doors were
thrown open the distinguished visitors
Pioche daily record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1872-1876, 1873-05-16
SAN FRASc1sco. n

San Francisco, May IA.
John Devine, the murderer of August
Kamp, was hanged in the county Jail at
l p. IN. to-day. He said nothing beyond
prayer dictated by his confessor on
the platform.
The obsequies of General Candy took
place at o'clock this afternoon.
Lieutenant Harris died at the camp
at the Lava Beds, May -. Surgeon B.
Semig is recovering.
The steamer Japan has arrived from
China and has been quarantined, hav-
ing five cases of small-po on board.
A dispatch from Yreka tonight says
the Modocs have another rocky fastness,
which they are making still stronger
The troops will not attack it before re-
Inducements arrive. The position is
about 90 miles south Of the last strong
hold. There are So Modocs left, who, it
is said, will fight till the last one is killed.
Seventy, five men will be retained at
camp to guard the stores till reinforce
ments come.
Pioche daily record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1872-1876, 1873-05-16
Foreign News.

HALIFAX, May IA.
The FIRE at the Drummond Colliery
continues, but is slowly abating, all
openings being filled up with stream Of
water which has been running into an
air shaft lately worked. The list of
killed as far as known, is twenty.six
men leaving families, and twenty-five
single men. The total number of killed
will probably reach Is. The wounded
number six, of whom two are fatally in
jured. The men who have escaped with
great difficulty from the stope, report
that on their way up they passed the
bodies of their comrades who had prob
ably become Supplied by smoke, and
were the four men who volunteered since
the explosion. .....- ......-.....
LONDON, May IA.
Charles Bradlaugh has arrived in
Paris, en- route for Madrid, with an i'd
dress from the English Republicans to
the Spaniards. He is to meet at the
railway station, Gambetta, who is about
to proceed to Moges to make a speech.
The two Republican leaders will journey
southwark together. s..
ST.. PETERSBURG, May IA.
Dispatches from Kasalinski, bring in
telligence that detachments and recon-
noitering parties from the Russian expe-
dition report the Chivans as throwing
up intrenchments at Klyteh and Dukara.
They are also sending out vanguards to
meet the Russians at Minbalak. There
has been an engagement at LYDIA between
the Russians and Turcomans, in which
the latter were defeated. Twenty-Five
OF the Turcomans were killed and one
thousand Of their camels captured by the
Russians. .E7F H-1EH as
- PARIS, May H.
1t is reported that Goulard has in
formed Theirs that he has resolved to
resign the Ministry Of the Interior, un-
less Jules Simon, Minister Of Public
Instruction, retires. The Soir, this eve
ming, says Goulard and Jules Simon
have rendered their resignation to
Theirs. because it is incompatible with
their views for them TO serve in the same
cabinet.
LONDON, May IA.
A Herald special says: A battle was
fought at Puerto de Erault, near Stella,
in Navarro, on May 9Th, which was most
important and was complete victory for
Dorregaray. -Four days previously the
Carlist troops were surprised at Pera
Cerrada by a Government column and
retrsated with the greatest precipitation