Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1873-09-04
WHOLE NO. 1923
Having Your Photograph Taken.


Having photograph taken is one
Of the great events in a mans life
The chief desire is to look the very
best and on the success of the picture
hinges in many cases the most inn
portant epoch in life. TO work up
proper appearance time enough is
used which, if devoted to catching
fleas for their phosphorus, would cancel
the entire national debt and establish
a New York daily paper, When you
have completed your toilet you 90 to
the gallery and force yourself into Il
nonchalance Of expression that is too
absurd for anything. Then you take
the chair, spread your legs gracefully,
appropriate calm and indifferent
look, and commence to perspire,-
An attenuated man with pale face,
long hair and soiled nose now comes
out Of a cavern, and adjusts the came
IA. Then he gets back of you and
tells you to sit back as far as you can
in the chair, and that it has been
remarkably backward spring After
getting you back till your spine inter
feres with the chair itself, he shoves
your head into a pair Of ice-tongs,
and dashes at the camera again
Here, with a piece of discolored vel
vet over his head, he bombards you in
this manner: "Your chin out little,
please" The chin is protruded.-
"That's nicely now little more
The chin advances again, and the
pomade commences to melt, and start
for freedom. Then he comes back to
you and slaps one Of your hands on
your legs in such a position as to give
you the appearance Of trying to lift it
over your head. The other is turned
under itself, and has become so sweaty
that you begin to fear that it will
stick there permanently. a new
stream Of pomade finds it's way out,
and starts downward. Then he shakes
your head in the tongs till it settles
right, and says 1t looks like rain, and
puts your chin out again, and punches
ont your chest, and says he doesn't
know what the poor are to next do win
ter unless there is radical change in
affairs, and then takes the top of your
head in one hand and your chin in the
other and gives your neck wrench
that would earn any other man a
prominent position in any hospital
Then he runs his hand through your
hair and scratches your scalp, and
steps back to the camera and the in
jured velvet for another look. BY
this time new sweat and pomade have
started out, The whites of your eyes
show unpleasantly, and your whole
body feels as ifit had been visited by
an enormous cramp, and another and
much bigger one was momentarily
expected. Then he points at some
thing for you to look at tells you to
look cheerful and composed, and
snatches away the velvet, and pulls
out his watch. When he gets tired,
and you feel as if there was but very
little left in this world to live for, he
restores the velvet, says it is an TN
favorable day for picture, but he
hopes for the best, and Immediately
disappears in his den Then you get
up and stretch yourself, slap on your
hat, land Immediately sneak home,
feeling mean, humbled, and altogether
too wretched for description. The
first friend who sees the picture says
he can see enough resemblance to
make certain that it is you, but you
have tried to look too formal to be
natural and graceful-Danb'Uy Nescs.