The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-04-24
From the Indianapolis Sunday Herald.
Living and LiarS.

Men set fictitious value upon truth. The
oretically they have the highest regard for it.
Practically they can get along with very little
of it, Nothing will provoke fight quicker or
more inevitably than to impeach mans ve-
racity, and yet the very man who is prompt to
strike out from the shoulder at the slightest
expression of doubt as to his entire truthful
ness, may be an accomplished and inveterate
liar, boarding with miserly avarice the little
truth that is in him, from base fear that
reckless expenditure will leave him destitute.
There is plenty of truth in the well, but most
men are reluctant to 60 down after it, and
manage to get along very comfortable without
it.
There is an endless variety of liars Some
men are steadfastly truthful in all matters in
volving money or character, but prodigious
liars in other respects. One man will lie about
anything except his business, and another will
lie about his business and tell the truth about
everything else. Selfshness is the base of
mean and mercenary lying, but there are unset
fish liars who lie with the best of motiyes-a
commendable desire to interest and amuse an
audience. Vanity is the parent of brood Of
lies. Personal courage, wealth, etc., are made
the subjects of infinite lies by weak minded
persons, who wish to impress the world with
sense of their own Importance.
Whiskey is q great promoter of lying.
There are thousands of men who are truthful
while sober, but lie with a heartless flow of
eloquence under the inspiration of red-eye:
It would require volume to describe the
different classes of liars, but we will note few
of the more prominent:
The Business Liar is thief and robber as
well as liar. He not only outrages the prin-
ciple of truth, which crushed to earth will rise
again, but defrauds you of your hard earnings
by inducing you to pay more for what he has
to sell than the article is worth. The business
liar is usually very respectable" parsonage
perhaps church member-and
"Compounds for sins he has mind to
By damning those he's not inclined TO-"
The Bungling Liar is not a dangerous MEM
Der of society. He has short memory, and
never can tell the same lie twice.
The Artistic Liar is man of genius. His
lies are studied, and are made to consist" in
all their parts. He rarely tells an of-hand lie
for fear of making a blunder, but usually re-
hearses mentally before delivery, and submits
each part of the structure to an analytical test,
with q view to preserving the unities and
probabilities. The artistic liar is an ornament
to society. He is usually understood after a
time, but is tolerated. if not courted, on account
of the exquisite finish of his productions. A
plausible lie we'll told, is currency that is
rarely refused, and circulates better than pure
coin. The artistic liar ranks but little below
the artistic painter. The two arts are nearly
akin, though there is many liar who cannot
paint good picture, and the artist who painted
the "Heart of the Andes" is miserable dauber
when it comes to lying. In an artistic lie there
is the same exquisite coloring, and the same
regard for proportion as in the picture.
We happen to know score or more OF ar
49, 1;ox b,,t fhoir
modesty by an invidious mention of their
names.
A quiet, modest young man, engaged in
clerical capacity, has periodical spells of
spreeing and lying. On these occasions he is
immensely wealthy. He spends five thousand
a month. He has coal mine that brings him
in fifteen dollars day. His wfes uncle in
California has offered him eighty thousand
dollars year to come and live with him, but
he is attached to Indianapolis, and wouldn't
leave for eight hundred thousand year.
A very estimable business man has attained
some distinction as liar. He won't lie for
lucre, but loves to magnify the success which
attends his business operations. His house,
his horse, his dog and his cat are superior to
anybody else's horse, dog and cat. few
months since lady dog belonging to him
swelled the canine census by contribution OF
five puppies. He put them in 8 basket and
proudly exhibited them, across the fence, to
his neighbor. "Just look at EN-" said he,
glowing with enthusiasm. "Ain't they beau
ties9 There's Just fifty dollars in that basket.
Every one of 'em engaged at ten dollars piece.
wouldn't take five hundred dollar bill for
the mother" Now the simple fact is, the
puppies were mongrels, and so far from all
being engaged at ten dollars, in less than
week he paid an African half dollar to take
them to the canal and drown them.
Is lying ever justi6able? Must certainly,
under certain circumstances. For instance,
when an impertinent fellow asks you an i'm
pudent question about something that is none
of his business, it is consistent with morality
to tell him square, fat-footed lie. You can't
refuse to answer him, or knock him down, as
that would be equivalent to admitting what ne
suspects. To illustrate our meaning: 1t you
are sweet on Angeline, and call there pretty
often, and stay late, and Brown, who is vul-
gar, meddlesome fellow, wants to know if you
kissed her in the hall on your way home, it IS
not only.right but your duty to tell him no:
If YOU get mad and tell him it's none of his
BUSINESS, (which it ain't,) or kick him, (which
he deserves he will be fully satisfied you did
kiss Angie But if you tell him fatty and
without any hesitation 'no," being an ass, be
will believe you. In this case you will per-
ceive that nothing but lie will do. If it only
concerned you, perhaps it would be better to
admit the corn and the kiss to Brown, then
knock him down for his accursed impudence;
but, you see you cannot, as gentleman, betray
Angeline's secret to dirty, vulgar fellow like
Brown.
We would like, did time and space permit,
to give some advice to liars, but have only
room for a few brief suggestions. Try and lie
with some judgment Adapt your lies to the
capacity of the subject. Don't lie to an accom-
plished liar. If you are newspaper man,
don't lie about your circulation to another
newspaper man. If you are theatrical agent
for a genius of the Fanny Price stamp, don't
attempt to influence an editors opinion by the
exhibition of extracts from other papers at
ffty cents line. When detected in lie don't
tell o hundred others to bolster it up, but
E.a.,l- aol.noul ladnpaant and