The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1873-09-03
Courteous Manners.
tFrom the PhIladclphla Lcdgcr.)

: From the Philadelphia LCdGcE,)
: A singular difference of sentiment ex.
: ISIS upon the subject oil courteous behavior.
People disagree both as to lts origin and
lis value. Some think 1t to be entirely the
! natural blossOming Of q generous and al
fectionate nature, which cannot be slmu-
lated; others regard It as an art, which
only needs Lord Chesterfield TO bring II
10 perfection. Some think it matter Of
the first importance, and make 1t test
by which to Judge Of character; Others re-
gard 1t as an accomplishment TO be gain
ed or not, at pleasure, while some appear
to scOrn 1t as token oi unmRnliness OF
insincerity. These different estimates are
not so much to be wondered at when we
remember the complex varieties Of char
acter, tho different standpoints from which
we view them, and the insufficient means
at our disposal to discover the secret mo-
tives Of mems actions.
Its, nevertheless, very important that
we should each arrive ut something like
a lust conclusion as to the true character
OF polIteness, and tho office 1t has to tultl
in the world. 1t has been defined, not
upiuslly, to be the outer garment OF good
will. Ii always worn by its owner, and
no other, Il would doubtless always CON-
mand tho respect it deserves. Uniortun-
alely, however, it is not intrequently
borrowed and used US veil TO hide self
ishness and insincerity. There are men
and women who shrink not from real In.
Justice and unkindneSs, but who would
blush TO be found guilty OF violating the
laws of etiquette. And still larger num-
ber arc scrupuIously careful OF their be-
hayior in company or before those whose
esteem they crave, while with their iami.
lIy or dependents they gladly throw of the
garment which fits them 80 Ill, and are as
rude and uncivil in their conduct as they
are selfish and illcatured in their disposi-
tiOns. II good manners always betokened
good disposition, II they were to kind
ness of heart as fragrance TO the flower,
instead of so often being an artificial per
tune intended to hide noxious weed,
we should unite in loving and appreciat-
ing them at all times But shall we then
dGspisc them because they are sometimes
simulated? There Is nothing worthy or
beautiful that has not It's counterfeit. The
hollow and insinccro slaves Of policy or
fashion, who ieign kindness they do not
feel, pay the highest compliment In their
power TO the virtues which they lack, by
pretending TO possess them.
Although the truest politeness Is that
which flows naturally from goodwill, we
can do much TO assist It's onward prog
ress. There Is something Of art in reduc.
ing any feeling to adequate expression;
and VIC know that there are many ways
Of showing kindly sympathy and regard
which suggest themselves TO the thought
lul and considerate. It one Of the le0.
sons of everyday life that we should all
strive to learn, how to express, BY every
pleasant, graceful and attractive way, the
real kindliness we feel, not only to those
whose esteem we value, but to every one
with whom We come in contact. There
Is nothing in occupation or circumstances
to prevent this. Neither wealth, nor
birth, nor education has any monopoly Of
true politeness. Every one, however
poor or busy, or young, can cultivate
gentle, pleasant and cordial manner, that
shall fully express in all the intercourse
Of daily liic the genial impulses and warm
emotions oil the heart.
Goodwill and benevolence will devel.
ope more fully by being thus continually
manifested, than by any other means.
Every feeling Is increased by expression.
diminished by repression. The blunt,
rude tone, the disrespeclful manner, the
omission of those gentle amenities Of life
that smooth away 80 many rough places,
do actually in time blunt and dull the
finer parts Of our nature, check the gen
erous emotion, drive back the sympathy,
and crush the affections that are thus
denied their natural outlets. On the
other hand, the courtesies OF life, while
gladdening those to whom they are ex.
tended, return to enrich the heart OF the
giver. he who remembers the rights OF
others, and hastens gracefully to accord
them, who freely comedies the veneTation
due to age, and the respect and honor due
from one human being 10 another, who
takes every opportunity Of shedding
small rays Of sunshine over tho lives Of
those around him, will himself reap the
harvest he sows-in larger heart, more
expanded beneVolence and richer atec-
tons.
We would not hero descsnt upon the
, worldly policy Of courteous manners, nor
urge It as motive for their cultivation,
vet it Is pleasant to discover that right
doing has its own reflex action, not only
E on the character, but also on the imme-
diate personal interests Of men. This is
certainly the case In all business inter
course. Other things being equRl, the
] courteous and afFable always have the
= preference over the blunt and rude.
Whether It Is the selection Of the store at
3 which we deal, the employer whom we
will serve, the workman We will engage,
] or the road we will travel, this element
t will largely influence our choice. In the
t instructions which 0 general manager OF q
/. leading railway has Issued to his subordi'
8 mates, he says: "Trest people as II you ap'
D preciated and werO willing to acknoWl-
9 edge their custom. Try to accommodate
D and please. In short, act as any good
g business man would towards his Gus
|. toners, Don't treat people as II you were
e conierring q favor on them by letting
G them ride. Rather, seek to make the line
r. nonnlar, because its business Is dependen.
o on tne good will Of the people. You need
= not be ashamed TO let people understand
d Lhat you acknowledge to this" Such or
/. ders fully recognize the policy Of pleasing
u manners and their necessity 10 ensure sue
r Gees. To be really worthy and enduring,
q politeness must be based on kindly feel
Il iug. An old proverb says, III the staff be
e crooked, the shadow cannot be straight
n So, II our hearts arc cold and hard, they
will not cast the shadow ot kindly deeuS
and gentle manners. Yet they act anu
IS react upon each other, and the euoI' "
u correct the shadow may Induco uS u IT.
Is form the substance.