River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1873-12-09
ssDcntonIanna.''

The editor Of the Hudson Democrat
is one OF those ethereal, impracticable
writers who not unlrequently loses his
balance anu goes fitting heaven ward,
or some other ward" like a jack-o-
lantern in cloudy evening. lie is
just now discussing "Deatonianna"
With Mary Anna, Georgianna, Sarah
Anna, and many other Aunas we have
long been acquainted; but as for
Deatoni we are frank to admit that we
never made her acquaintance never
heard Of her, in fact, till she came to
Hudson, and now we have only a pas
sing Introduction in the head letters OF
a column article ia last weeks Demo
crat.
To come to facts with a very few
words, it appears that Miss Dentoni re-
Gently visited our metropolitan neigh
bors, and that the several editors in that
city became euamored of her beauty
her wit, and her rare powers Of fascina-
ton Each in turn, has given her a
turn of the editorial crank, and now
they have become jealous of each other
But it IS more directly with neighbor
Jones that we propose to deal in this ar
ticle, and for the reason that he is now
"the biggest dog in the puddle" SO it
seems 10 us, at least, and we think our
readers will agree with US in this re-
spect, after carefully perusing the fol
lowius extract:--
"rhe TrHe Republican having thus
thrown lis modest sop Of drivel TO the
popular Cerberus, IL might well have
been expo ted that the Star &c Times
would ca, bid its rival for the favor Of
the tri.headed dog of Pluto"
("No}ea sap Of drioel" Now
Jones, that's too bad after all our Ia
Dor to elevate the character Of journal
ism in you city, aud moro PARTICULARLY
50, since you have claimed TO be the
model ritter of the trio. But that
wal be explained in the course of our
remarks.)
"The popular CsrJerus" That's
the gentleman who is supposed to sit
at the gate OF the Internal regions,
guarding its entrance against the in
gress OF wicked iit)rs whose associa-
ton would demoralize Satan's army,
and overthrow his kingdom Would
our neighbor iaslndlte that Bros. Full
ton and Taylor would throw their
"modest sop of drivel' at his majes-
ty to propitiate bis favor? No, Jones,
We don't believe it. You must be jeal-
Gus, neighboE they have done mischief
enough on earth, aud they are not am
bilious for any such distinction hereaf-
ter.
"Hs tri-headed dag Of Pinto"
Don't that beat ye?
There is tradition that Pluto was the
son Of Saturn, brother Of Jupiter
and Neptune, and the gol-not the
Satan-of the internal regions. Bat
Of his 'tri headed dog" we never have
seen any account till siuce the advent
Of Miss Dentonianna. Cerberus is
represented as a tri.headed dog--a
regular "rat-tear.yer," bat not word
is said about Pluto's dog, nor Of his
having three heads. Nor is il for his
dog that Brother Fulton is now bid
ding, but for seat IN the United
States Senate--a more landable aubi.
ton We trust; and Brother Taylor is
now only bidding 10 be Marks page,
provided he is successful. Hence
Brother Jones jealousy. DO you see
it? 30 quiet, neighbor, be quiet.
But to return 10 first principles, it
appears that Miss Anna Dentoni has
lately given birth n a new theory con.
corning the origin Of the human race,
as we'll as the world itsclf, and all things
contained therein. Pluto had theory,
also, and Of the unstratifed crystalline
rocks he said they we're formed by the
agency Of heat; but he nowhere tells US