Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1873-07-03
How the Average Woman Con-
structs her Head Gear.

Max Adelerl
A woman who is considering the
matter of her spring hat is an interest
ing subject for contemplation. First
she buys straw frame that looks as if
it had been struck by hurricane and
then sat down on by an entire coro
ner's jury. After that when she rides
in a street car she drinks in the details
of every spring hat that enters, and
learns them all by heart, and docs
mental sums over the cost of the riE-
bop, and makes mp her mind to have
flowers in hers like those worn by the
lady in the corner, and lace like that
gaudy looking creature in the middle
And then she walks down the street
and studies all the hats that come
along, and when a woman passes her
with one on, she twists her neck
around to see how it looks behind, and
is dsgusted to see that the woman is
also dislocating her neck, to see how
she trims her hat. When she arrives
in front of a millinery store she ling
ers until she has analyzed all the spring
hats in the window, and she deter
mines to trim hers nineteen different
ways, and decides not to have flowers
like the woman who sat in the corner.
Then she shoots into the store and
asks 10 ''see hats" with the air of Il
person who has whole female semin-
ary to rig out with eighty dollar head
gear. She examines every hat in the
establishment, overhauls ten bushels
of flowers, gets about twenty dollars
worth of work out of the saleswoman,
and then says she will 'tlook further" +"
Then she goes home with her mind
fixed on thirty eight or nine different
STYLES in which she wants to trim her
hat After awhile she begins to think
she ought to have feather IN it, and
she passes two or, three sleepless
nights trying to decide wheth er to put
one on or not.
At last she resolves she will. Then
she lies awake for two more nights
endeayoring to determine whether il
shall be red or blue. She fixes on
blue SIZE buys the trimming and
Sews it on in seventy successive posi-
tions, her mind filed with deepest
anxiety as to whether the feather
should go on the right side, the left
side, or on top. She puts it on the
right side, but just then Mrs. Brown
passes the front window with feather
on the left side of hers, and so she
changes it. The next morning MI S
Ferguson calls, and her feather is or
the right side, and then Mrs. Smith
has feathers on both sides, and Mrs
johnson has one on top. Then more
sleepless nights and more painful un-
certainty. At last, in utter despair
she takes the hat to a milliner anC
pays ten dollars to have it trimmed
When it comes home she pronounces
it ''hateful," and picks it all to pieces
and broods over it, and worries ant
frets, and loses her appetite, and feel:
life to be a burden for two weeks
longer, until suddenly she hits JUS
the right thing, and becomes once
more serene and happy, and puts the
hat on and goes out and makes millions
of other women miserable because
their hats are not trimmed exactly like
hers AS q wife, woman is q blessing
as q mother, she is an inestimablt
boon; as an organizer of spring hats
she is simply an object of compassion