The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1873-07-26
GENERAL ITEMS.


BEST size for man-Exercise.
The milkman's watering place-The
pump. -t - -r.--s
EMpEcuN1oUs animals Those who
haven't a scent.
THE noisiest body of water-A sound.
GOOD wine needs no push.
How to keep up in the world-Never
get down.
The lawyers best case-The case in
hand.
A GOOD side-show at ladies' fairs-A
pretty cheek.
A BAD cane for a cripple-A hurricane.
Our present relations with Turkey will
probably not be changed until next
Thanksgiving. ss~
How to be always even with the world
keep your head level.
WHAT drug clerk knows about farm
ing may be found in pharmacopeia.
An English lady learning to spell wants
to know if there's a he in love.
Could temperance Grafton be called a
water-spOut? a
THE best thing about gamblers and
thieves is, that they despise each other.
AS a general rule in this world, the
longer man lives, the shorter he gets.
The complaint of the flowers-It's a
hill wind that blows no good.
A GREAT American Bird-The wealth
ercock Tor if you prefer it, rooster.)
A MAN cannot see the point of ajoke
when he is the butt.
WOMAN should study how to be smart,
but never shrew-ed.
How to murder pan in the second de-
gree-Get him to your room and put a
bullet through his head.
The lovers who lost their lives lately
at Niagara were engaged before the Fall.
The best iron tonic for fashionable la
dies-The flat-iron.
ALEXANDER being asked how he con-
quered the world, replied, SPY not delay
ing.''
The billiard-player's favorite letter in
the alphabet-Q.
IHE best sewing machine attachment
the engagement of a pretty seamstress.
CAN anybody tell why when Eve was
formed from one of Adams ribs, q hired
girl wasn't made at the same time to wait
on her.
a FEMALE lecturer says the only decent
thing aboot Adam was a rib, and that
went to make something better.
MRS. PART1NGToN has not had the small
pox once since she was inoculated BY the
occulist. Fortunate dame!
"HAvE a drink of civil damages 90 ia
the latest style of invitation known to
those who drink intoxicating beverages
Two-TH1RDs of mems generosity is what
nnS - e.
1or themselves, they say: You may have
the drippings.-Bescher.
THE mind does not know what diet it
can feed On until it has been brought to the
starvation pOint-HoI,nes.s &4a =
''BoB, how is your sweetheart getting
along 2, "Pretty well, | guess !; she says
l needn't call any more. +"
"A CINCINNATI man is said to be training
himself for his approaching marriage BY
shop.
FAME is an undertaken that paws but
little attention to the living, but bedizens
the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and
follows them to the grave.
PRAYER is very profitable /; at night it
IS our covering; in the morning it is our
armor. Prayer should be the kew of the
day, and the lock of the night.
He who falls asleep on a mast. he who
takes fire into magazine, he who dallies
with sin, and he who delays repentance.
are running race to find out which of
them is the greatest fool.
THERE are abundance of dry-eved
Christians in the world, and abundance OF
dry duties tOO-duties that never were
wet with the tears Of contrition and re-
pentance.
No man is so happy as real Christian
none SO rational, so virtuous. so amiable.
How little vanity does he feel, though he
believes himself united with God! How
tar is he from abjectness, when he ranks
himself with the worms of the earth,
The most firm and stable earthly struc-
lures are but temporary, and the most en-
during earthly possessions come to an
end. No one, therefore, should look to
them as his chief good, or trust in them
for happiness. wv.
MANY men pass fifty or sixty wears in
the world, and when they are just going
out of it they bethink themselves, and
step back, as it were, to do something
which they had all the while forgotten, to
wit, the main business for which they
came into the world-to repent of their
sins, and reform their lives, and make their
peace with God, and in time prepare for
eternity.