The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1873-12-06
The Trouble in the Ark.

Nprotracted meeting IN the interior OF
Georgia, and heard sermon which I
have never been able to forget or
describe. I have attempted several
times to write it. But it cannot be put
on paper. The main force of it was in
the snufing and SPIT ting and groauiny
and hound after fox sort of yelp and
whine, to which no pen can do justice.
The preacher had just been licensed,
and it was his first sermon In person
he was small, bullet-headed, of n fair,
sandy complexion, aud his countenance
was indicative Of sincerity and honesty.
His remarks evinced great reverence
for the works of God as manifested in
zoology and natural history, and he swas
taking up the Bible in regular order
for the first time in his life" He had
gotten as far as the history of Noah, the
ark, the food, etc. Besides, ''just be
fore his conversion he had been reading
Goldsmith's "Animated Mater" and the
Two together, by the aid and assistance
Of the sperit. had led him into power
ful frame of thinking as he stood at his
work bench "day in and day out" But
whatever his sermon may have been, it
was. his own. The text was: "As it
was in the days of Noah, SO shall the
coming of the Son of man be-" After
commenting upon that portion OF
Genesis. descriptive Of the flood, he
s'warmcd up" suddenly, aud broke out
in the following strains: r.. 49,.
~pHYes, my brethren, the heavens Of the
windows was opened -ah, and the ffouds
ofthe great deep kivered the waters
ah, and there was Shem, aud there was
Him, aud there was Japheth ah, all
gMine into the ark ah.
And there was the elephant-ah, tha,
.lsre;a.t auimal-ah, efSwh,ch Goldsmith
! l,lisi;lttsu sS
,wl at is as big us a hose ah, aud his
b, mes as big as tree ah, depending
s, mewh on the size OF the tree ali,
all agwine iuto the ark ah Aud the
h. asens of the windows were opened ah,
and, the floods OF the grea deep
k.vcred the waters ah, aud there was
Shcm, and there was Ham, aud there
was Japheth ah, al agwine into the
ark ah.
Sand there was the hippopotamusah,
that great animal ah, OF which 1oId
smith describes in his "Auimated
Mater" ah, what has q great horu ah,
astickin' right straight up out OF his
forward ah, six feet loug, more or lessah
depending somewhat in the length Of It.
uh, a | agwiue into the ark ali.
"And there was the giraffe nh. my
brethern that illcontrived reptile of
which Goldsmith describes in his "Ani
mated Mater" ah, whose fore legs is
twenty-five feet long all, more or less ah,
depending somewhat on the length of
'em ah, and a neck SO long he can't eat
hay off the top Of barn ah, depending
somewhat on the hithe of the barn ah,
all agwine into the ark ah. And the
heavens and windows was opened oh,
and the floods of the great deep kivered
the waters ah there was Shem, and
there was Ham, and Japhcth ah, a |
agwine into the ark ah.
"And there was the. zebra, my
bretheren ah, the beautiful animal OF
which Goldsmith. describes in his "Ani
lnoted Mater ah, which has three hund.
red stripes a runnin' right round his
body ah, more or less, depending some
What on the number of stripes ah; and
nary two stripes alike ah, all agwine in
to the ark ah.
sAnd there was tho nnaconder all,
that great sarpint of which Goldsmith
describes in his "Animated Mater all,
what can swallow six oxens at a meal.
ah, provided his appetite don't call for
less nh, all'agwinc into the ark ah. Aud
the heavens of the windows was openod
ah, aud the floods Of the great deep
kivered the waters ah, and ttere was
Shon, and there WIS Ham, and there
was Japheth ah, all a5wine into the ark
ah.
"And there was the lion, my breth
;ren ah, what is the ,kiug of beasts
accordin,. to scripter ah, and who, Us st.
Paul says ah, prowls around of night
like o roarin' devil ah, seekin' if he
can't catch somebody all, all agwine into
the ark ah. 9ri u
"And there was the antelope, my
brethren, that frisky little critter ah, of