Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1873-07-22
SINGLE RLEssEDNEss.
Report Of a man who Kent House
while hts WIFE was OF for the
aammer.

i Report OF mhu WuO hoe. -, :
eemmer.
From the st. Louis Republican,
Nv wife has gone away for the sum
mer, and left me in full charge OF the
house. like it; hav'nt had such a run
Of liberty since we were married. l hope
she's having a good time, for | can now
exercise my rights as the head OF the
family. Can't do it when she's at home;
she'll not stand it. She has rules, and
makes everybody about her toe the
mark. But I've got her now, and am
having things my own way.
This morning came home quite early.
IL was two am. had been TO the club
aud got caught out in the rain. For
half an hour | couldn't find the keyhole,
Which must have got mislaid. felt for
il everywhere, and even got down into
the yard and examined every brick, but
couldn't find it. was in the act of
calling one of my neighbors, and asking
him who had carried off my front door,
when happened to find it and got into
the house.
In the dark | kicked over a spittoon,
but luckily didn't get any OF the tobacco
Juice on my boots. ! hung my overcoat
and umbrella on a prong of the chande-
lier, let them drip on the parlor carpet,
went up stairs and turned in with my
boots on. | thought il wasn't worth
while to pull them of, as | would have
10 get up in eight or ten hours anyhow.
If my wife had been at home she'd have
had me looking an hour for the boot-jack,
and | would have lost that amount of
rest, which my system so much needed.
Besides, she'd have made me give full
account of myself, which | don't like to
do. / never did believe in praising my
self. It's better to let others speak of
ones virtues. can now wear shirt a
week and its nobody's business. | don't
see how | ever did get along with that
woman. The idea Of having to put on a
clean shirt, black my boots, and brush up
my clothes every morning, is simply
ridiculous. 1t is miracle to me how |
ever did it and attend to my other affairs.
now read the morning paper without
being forced to see an impatient woman
standing with her dress in one hand,
looking very miserable, and finally tell
ing me she is going down town and wants
that paper.
Any one, TO look at the house now,
would know there's no women about,
everything is so quiet and comfortable
and handy. II | want to do a little
figuring don't have to hunt up pen
ell or pen and ink, but | just sit down to
one Of the tables and do it with my
finger, aud there's nobody to be eternal
ly welding busting brush around my
bed and telling me to get out OF the way
until the house is cleaned up. These
are considerations that every married
man should ponder over. But when
we do ponder and resolve, what
good does it do? That's the question
which is now agitating the American
people, What good does it do2 Not a
bit. IL these women cant have every
thing just their own way, they swoon
of into Mysteries. As consequence,
we have to pay a fifty dollar doctors
bill, and stay in the house all day, fan
ming them and promising in the end
that I'VE may be happy yet" before
they show any disposition to compro
mise. Our wives are petted too much.
And this reminds me that mine won't
yield to any other treatment. | under
took to prescribe more stringent rem
edy for her one day, but it threw her
into fit more like jimjams than any
thing know Of. She broke every plate
in the house over my head and then had
to kiss her before she would promise not |
to do it again. That's what makes me
say she is set in her ways
There, too, are the piano and guitar,
which she kept going from morning un-
til midnight, filling the whole neighbor-
hood with discordant sounds which she
called music. Both are as mute as the
bird cage which was vacated last week |
by strategic movement of the cat.
The 200 pots of flowers she left me to
cultivate | don't think will produce
much of a crop. They're nearly all
ripe now and there's no sign Of flower
vet. / have warmed them twice since
She left. but it did no good. ! reckon
they miss her aud are pining away be-
cause she amt here. In this respect |
hey don't resemble me to any alarming
extent.
Our kitchen never looked better. The |
,toYe aud pipe have assumed beautiful
red tint, and the pots are bringing forth |
A fine crop of white looking vegetable |
mould, which havn't learned the name
1f, but she'll know it when she comes. !
The dishes don't look quite as bright and |
clean as they might, but the flies are bad
his year, aud If ! was to wash them
Every two weeks they wouldn't present a
appearance.
Notice TO the Editor:
Please suppress that article ! sentyou |
sbout my Spell Of Single Blessedness.
The "a ,znman has rnt hnck