Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1873-08-29


In the autumn of 1880 l attended Meth
odist camp-meeting in the interior of Geor-
gia, and heard sermon which / have new
er been able to forget or describe. 1 have
attempted several times to write il. But
it cannot be put on paper. The main
force OF it was in the snuffiing and splitting
and groaning and hound after-a- fox sort of
yelp and whine, TO which no pen can do
justice. 1t must be intoned to be apprecat-
ed. l have preached it a thousand times
for the amusement of friends, and have
been satisfied with my effort. have used
it as remedial agent in exercising the
demons of hypochondria, and have never
failed ''to send them down steep place in
the sea-" or somewhere else, to the great
relief Of the sufferer.
The speaker had just been licensed and
it was his first sermon. In person he was
small, bullet headed, Of a fair, sandy COM
plexion, and his countenance was indca-
tive Of sincerity and honesty. His remarks
evinced great reverence for the works of
God as manifested in zoology and natural
history, and was taking up the Bible in
regular order for the first time in his life.
He had gotten as far as the history Of Noah,
the ark, The flood, etc. Besides, "just be-
fore his conversion he had been reading
Goldsmith's Animated Mater and the
two together, by the aid and assistance of
the speri, had led him into powerful
train of thinking rs he stood at his work
bench day in and day out" But, whatever
his sermon may have been, il was his own.
The text was: "As it was in the days of
Noah, so shall the coming of the Son of
Man be- After commenting OH that por-
ton of Genesis descriptive of the flood, he
warmed up" suddenly, and broke ont in
| the following strains:-
"Yes, my brethren, the heavens of the
windows was opened-ah, and the floods of
the great deep kivered the waters-all
and there was Shem, and there was Ham,
and there was Japheth-ah, ALL a-gwine in
| tosthe Ark-ah.
"And there was the elephant-ah of which
| Goldsmith describes in his Animated Ma
| ter'-ah, what is as big as a horse-ah, and
is bones as big as a treo-ah, depending
somewhat on the size of the tree-ah, all
a-gwine into the Ark-ah. And the heavens
of the windows was opened-ah and tho
floods of the g-r-e-a-t deep kivored the
waters.ah, and there was Shem, and
there was Ham, and there was Japheth-ah,
ALL a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
And there was the hippopopatamus-a
that great animal-ah ofwhich Goldsmith
describes in his Animated Nater'-ah what
has great horn-ah a-stickin' right
straight up out of his foreward-ah six feet
long, more or less-ah, depending some
what on the length of it-ah, all a-gwine
into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the eirafie-ah, my breth-
erin, that ill-contrived reptile of which
Goldsmith describes in his Animated Ma
ter -ah, whose forelegs is twenty-five feet
long-ah more or less-ah, depending some
what on the length of 'em-ah, and neck
so long he can eat hay OIL the top of barn
all, depending somewhat on the hithe OF
the barn-ah, ALL a-Gwne into the Ark -al.
And the heavens of the windows was open
ed-ah, and the floods of the great deep xiv
cred the waters-ah and there was Ham
and there was Shem, and there was
Japheth-ah, ALL a-gwine into the Ark -ah.
"And there was the zebra, my brethren
ah, that b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l animal of which
Goldsmith describes in his Animated Ma
ter -ah, what has three hundred stripes a.
runnin' right straight round his body-ah
more or less, depending somewhat on the
number OF stripes 'ah, and nary two stripes
alike-ah, a-l-l a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the anaconder-ah, that
great sarplnt of which Goldsmith de-
scribes in his Animated Nater'-ah what
can swallow six oxens at a meal-ah pro-
vided his appetite don't call Tor less-ah
all gwine into the Ark-ah. And the
heavens of the windows was opened-ah
and the floods of the great deep kivered
the waters-ah, and there was Shem, and
there was Ham, and there was Japheth -ah,
ALL a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And there was the lion, my brethren
ah, what is tho king of beasts, according to
Scripture-ah, and who, as st. Paul says-ah
prowls around of night like a roarin dew
il-ah, a-seekin' If he can't catch somebody
ah, ALL a-gwine into the Ark-ah.
"And here was the antelope-ah, my
brethren, that frisky little critter-ah, OF