The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1873-03-07

outlandish nonsense. Its kind Of pro-
ceclin as I don't like; my natur goes
agin Il tarnally. I'd rather dam sight
up an kick like dyin' grasshoppcr than
to plead an pcrlaver like q travelin' col
porteur.'
And reasoning thus, he plodded on,
and soon came in sight Of the farmhouse
Of Farmer Traxton.
There's the domicile," he said, "what
holds at present one that can make her
self the preserver of valuable life, or
the voluntary executioner Of chap
that's feelin' about as onsartain and mis-
erable as troop of tropical monkeys in
a northwest snow-storm."
The window was open, and Sam crept
cautiously along, and took sly peep in
at the easement.
There she is," he said, "settin' down
in the same old chair. with her knittin'
work, maxim her little rosy fingers fly,
and punchin' the needles into the yarn,
all the time wishin' she was pokin' them
into my lacerated gizzard. j wish was
grasshoppcrl I'd jump into the win
der onto the floor, from there to her lap,
and so on to her nose. I'd mat my hind
legs into her nose like snappin'-turtle
does onto a yallar dorg's tail, and if |
didn't draw out part Of the surplus
luciousness that's lingerin' round them
juicy lips afore ] let 60, then you may
whip me all round the country with a
pizen rattlesnake for a whip-lashr Oh!
| can't stand it to think Of Twin without
her! should feel like a famishin' camel
on the Sahara desert. There's her
mother noddin' as If the drowsiness of
the night was about to wean her gently
from the agitations of the day. Yes,
she's dropped to sleep. Sleep, sleep, old
ladyl-not your everlastin' sleep. but as
everlastin' as you can conveniently make
it. Now, I'll go and steal softly in, and
If can wake Nellie without aggertatin
the sleepin' meditations of her mother,
I'm as good as married.
He went round to the back Of her
chair, and, bending over, he stole kiss
from her tempting lips.
Them kisses would wake an Egyptian
mummy from his stolen slumbers. and
make him dance breakdown on bald
cranium,' he said, as he smacked his lips
in satisfaction.
He brushed her ear with straw, and
Nellie awoke quickly, and reaching for,
ward. caught Sam by the hair.
SAN Jenkins" she exclaimed. "what
does this indicatei"
The game is upl" he muttered "my
heart feels jist like a collapsed biler
I'm wilted weed, broken stalk J"
"Sam jenkins. do you want me to
marry your"
Sam jumped three feet into the air.
"Now, Nellie, say that aginT
81 will marry you"
30, you willf o, hollyhocks. o.
"Ou one condition only" continued
Nellie.
Zone. only one. Name it. Nellie
name it before l bust J"
"That is, you take the foul blot of the
name of jenkins by throwin that village
chap as you would wilted toadstool.'
George Lester had prospered in his
wooing. and preparations had been going
on for some time for his marriage with
fair May Dutton. They were at last
completed, and it so happened that on
the very evening of Sans visit to Nellie
the ceremony was to be performed at the
house of the brides father. Sam knew
this fact, and this was why he started SC
furiously for Farmer buttons.
AT the appointed hour the invited
guests and friends, together with the
happy pair, were assembled at the farm
house Of Farmer Dutton. Finally tht
clergyman arose and said
"Well, my dear friends, shall We pro
ceedi"
1--WE await your pleasure, sir, /" replied
George.
As they were preparing for the cere
mony, Sam entered, followed by Nellie
The party stared in amazement at thi'
unlooked-for incident.
"This is gay ersemblage," said Sam
never needing their looks of astonish
ment. "Glad to see you all May, yor
look as purity as tulip. How do yor
do, psrson healthy, hope. How do
you do, everybody How are you
GeorgeH You are the person came t.
scrutinilef"
"Mr. Jenkins!" said George, "this i
an intrusion, SIR"
sorry, George, but business Is busi
ness"
"This is wedding party, my gooc
friend" said the clergyman.
"Glad on it, parson, but the ceremon.
can't proceed"
Cant proceed, sirr exclaimed
George, as they all looked amazed.
"Jest so. Georgep
"will you explain yourself, sirT
"Sartin!" !" He took out small booi
as he spoke. Permit me to read from
my observation-book September 2l-
George Lester walloped me round lik'
an angry schoOlmaster would a sarsy boy