Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-11-14
"A Dangerous Article.


WE had visitor Saturday afternoon.
He was square.built, heavy man. When
he came IN he took seat opposite us,
and, after a preliminary examination of
our features propounded the following
singular but rather important questions
"Did you ever hear tell of woman
leaving hoop-skirt on the floor in front
of the bedS" We thought over the sub
ject for q moment so as not to seem hasty
in our Judgment, and briefly intimated
that we had not any knowledge of this
peculiarity of the SEX "Well, nor L
either, till last night, !" said he. "And so
you did hear of it last nightW we asked.
~ rdyther think did. | Tdyther think l
did," he repeated. Then he pulled up
his pantaloon leg, disclosing a shin-bone
that looked as if it had passed the
night in smoke-house fighting dies, and
bruise at the top that must have called
forth the liveliest expressions of wrath
when received "Do you see thatP" he
asked. AS we were looking directly at
it, there was possibility that we saw it,
and we answered in the affirmative.
"Well, young man." he explained, Give
got another one like that on my back, and
a lump on the top of my head, and the
gol-darndest shaking up generally you
ever saw" He paused moment to
readjust his pantaloon leg, and then con-
tinued: "You see l was taken O little
bad in the night, with pain in the stom-
ach. had been over to the fair, and
must have eat something that didn't
agree with me. l guess 1t was, about
three o'clock in the mornin' when / be-
gun to feel the gripin'. / thought at first
I'd lay still, an it might pass over but it
kept Citing worse, an finally got up to
lnOK a
blazes, a favorite and pertinent simile
with the masses.-ED an had to hitch
round kinder carefully for a match. I
expect | got on the wrong side of the bed
in the dark, for the first thing | knowed
one of my feet catched in something, and
kinder pitched me ahead, then
the other foot catched and
pulled me up agin, an then
both legs got tangled up in the infernel
hoops, for it was the old woman's hoop
skirt, an some of the ribs got atween my
toes and smarted like thunder, an when /
undertook to move one way it would
pull me back another, and finally it
got catched on to cheer, an l suddenly
went over to wunst, the cheer
too, an / struck my arm across
the foot-board of the bed an
liked to have wrenched my shoulder off,
an that threw me to one side, kinder, an
| come plump with the top Of my head
again the mantel, and jest made every
timber in that house shake as if thun-
derbolt had struck it. It's great won
der it hadn't killed me- as it was, it set
the old woman to screamin' like a stuck
pig, an for two or three minutes it made
me dreadful sick an dissatisfied. You
can bet that when l got on my feet
|. made short work of that hoop-skirt.
1t amt hardly worth mentionin' in the
paper, | don't suppose, but l thought it
might be good thing to just warn the
women against leavin' hoop-skirts on the
floor nights, an putin peoples life in
danger, you know" Here he stopped,
and, leaning back in his chair with
sigh of relief from an oppressive duty
performed, eyed us for moment with
considerable and rather uncalled for anxi-
ETY.. Then rising and replacing his hat,
with another sigh, asked us if we had
engaged our potatoes for the winter, and,
finding that we had, and there was no
probability within the scope of earthly
comprehension that we should need any
pot-cheese, he sighed once more and took
his leave.-Danbury Nesos.