Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-07-17
When the Millennium COmes-Street
Car Ethics of the Future.

When the Millennium COmes-Street
Car Ethics of the Future.
READERS who are familiar with the self
ish habits which prevail in our larger
cities among the street-car passengers of
this day and generation, and the sometimes
disobliging ways of the often Overworked
conductors, will appreciate the following
pleasant satire by writer in the Daily
GrdDhic:
SCENE-A city passenger-car. Any one
will do. The car is crowded, and there is
that perfect entente c0rdiale between con
ductor and passengers, and between the
passengers themselves, which so eminent
ly conduces to the luxury of city travel
The seats are occupied by ladies and gen
tlemen, and few ladylike and gentle
menly children. The intantine element
is not yet present. The car stops. Enter
woman with baby. Every gentleman i'm
mediately rises, and the woman is forced
with a gentle politeness into the nearest
seat.
Old Gentleman-Permit me to hold
your little one while you find your pocket
book
Woman with baby, after fumbine
through her pocket book, produces a ten
dollar bill, and hands it to the conductor
saying: l am really sorry to trouble you
sir, but l have just discovered that l have
no small change.
Conductor-Pray don't mention it
madam. 1t will give me pleasure to &C
commodate you. Change is written upor
all things, even my pocket-boo
Woman with baby-I should not have
got in had known this was all | had.
would have infinitely preferred walking
to giving you so much trouble.
Conductor handing change)-And
would have infinitely preferred giving
you all my change rather than that yol
should suffer a moments uneasiness
| Calls out) One Hundred and Fifty frs
street.
Maiden Lady starting up from her cor
ner)-Oh, conductor! | asked you to stop
at Fifty first street
Conductor-Accept my apologies mad
| am. | had rather my salary should have
been stopped than that the car should not
Permit me to return your fare.
Maiden Lady-Not at all. 1t is alto
gether my fault for having troubled you
when l ought to have reflected you mus
| be perplexed The one hundred block:
|
you will distress me.
Conductor-Then, madam, | will b,
| happy from this moment.
| tor returns to his post, he accidental,
| treads on gentleman's toe.
| CONDUCTOR beg pardon, sir. Did
hurt youg
Gentleman with the crushed corr
| (smothering with an herculean effort, al
| expression of agony}-Not in the least
| sir A mere trif1e, / assure you
| Friend of the gentleman with th
crushed corn Gn whisper)-Didn't h
| tread on your cOrns
Gentleman lin another whisper)-Yes
| but | would not for the world hav
wounded him by letting him see he hat
| given me pain.
! Car stops. An old woman, with
| clothes basket, is about to get in, but, per
ceiving the Car full, hesitates.
Conductor-Step in, madam All thes
! gentlemen are awaiting to give you a sea,
| Allow me to carry your basket around T.
/ the front platform.
The car proceeds, when suddenly th'
strap is violently pulled by an excited OLE
! gentleman.
Excited Gentleman-EXcuse me, con
ductor, for ia king the liberty. But ther
are an old lady and gentleman up th'
street who evidently wish to get in.
Conductor-Thank you kindly, sir.
any gentleman fails to catch my eye wheI
he wants the car to stop, he will confer
favor on me by pulling the bell.
gentleman on the front platform be
gins to smoke.
Conductor-Beg pardon, sir, but smoh
ing is against the rules.
Lady Passengers ltogether)-Pray a
low the gentleman to smoke. We assur
YOU it does not incommode us.
Elegant-looking Lady Ito her fragil
friend)-How pale you look, my love
Let me open the window.
Fragile Friend-Not for the worlt
dear 1t might possibly give cold to tn
other passengers. Tobacco always make
me deadly sick; but the gentleman doe
seem to enjoy it so.
A passenger gets out and one seat
left vacant A colored lady and an Iris
lady simultaneously enter. Both renal
standing.
Irish Lady (to colored lady)-Be plaze
to take the safe, mum. Shure, | can't bea
to see yez shtanding.
ColOred Lady-Laws mussy! If d;
don't take de rag off de bush No, il
deed, mum, l couldn't think of settil
afore you, mum.
Passengers (all crowding up)-By
little squeezing we can make room for bot
Southern Lady with Children-No M
don't crowd yourselves. Ny children wi
be only too glad to stand.
Children too gladeOh, certainl
mammal Why didn't you speak before
: Fashionable Lady Ito whom gent
man still standing has given his seat
the esrly part of the route) Now, 81
/ must insist upon your resuming yo
seat and allowing me to stand l am su
you must be tired.
Gentleman (who looks ready to drop
Tired, madam I only gave you q pla
TO rest You gave me pleasure to remel