The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1873-04-12
lS,Peign Items.

A Ken 1f-ky court settled Il domestic quarrel Y
putting e husband under bonds not to go home
for six cjnths.
A earman paper, the Vessiche Zeitung, pub
lishef IN Berlin. demonstrates that =. the Russian
fore. in Central Asia are strong enough to defy
anLit,empt of the British to check their progress,
a. England is powerless. Russia is only waiting
a false step on the part of England.
PUTTING A FINE POINT on Ir.-A reporter upon
I'm American paper, speaking of a certain fair
Creature, remarked that the prorusion and color
of her hair would lead one to Look upon 1t as
though it was spun by nimble fingers of the easy
hours as they glided through the bright June
days, whose many sunny rays ct light had been
caught in the meshes, and were content to 90 no
further. This is better than saying the girls
hair was red
Not over fifty miles east of Auburn, on the
line of the Central Pacific railroad. there lives q
man whose sense of hearing is not very acute, as
will appear from the following: He was hunting
for game about a mile distant from his residence.
when a grouse flew up and lit on a tree on the
hill-side; and the same moment a traveller ap-
preached and inquired the distance to the next
station. Deaf man (pointing)-He few right up
there. Traveler-HOw far is it to the next sta
ton =? Deafman-He lit right up there. Traveller
You must be a id fool Deaf man-Yes, there
is a great many around this time of the year.
The only witness in a coroner's case was a
small Italian boy, who understood no language
O"b AhE CN' ''hAS ~ EDOhC
Irisho- English only. In this condition Of things
the examination of the witness took place, as
follows:
Coroner Boy, where do you live ?'
Boy stares, and shakes his head.
Coroner-'' Do you speak English p
Boy repeats the shake.
Coroner Do you speak French ?'
Roy-Another shake.
Coroner Do you speak German ?"
Boy-Reiterated wiggle of head.
Coroner How old are you ?"
Boy--Another shake.
Coroner Have you parents?"
Boy-Shake repeated.
Coroner Do you speak Italian"
Boy-Another shake, with not the least evil
dence of intelligence.
Coroner Gentlemen of the jury, it is no use
going on with this examination. You will
observe | have addressed this witness in seven
different languages, and cannot solicit an answer.
The court is obliged to adjourn"
Are there any Episcopalians in this vicinity
madam ?" Asked a tail, thin stranger of Mrs.
Artemus, as she stood in the open door, in
answer to his knock.
"Any which p
- Episcopalians."
Now. if Mrs. Artemus had a failing. it was
that she never would admit that she could posi-
blv be ignorant of anything. She always knew
ali about any subject mentioned. So she answered
"Episcopalians! Wal, we dom exactly know.
NV John-he's my son-he see somethin' out'n
the cornfeld Yesterday. He didn't really know
what it was, but | told him | guessed it was a
chipmunk. But now you speak ont, Ill bet it
was a Episkerpalium. And my next neIghbor,
Farmer Hawkins, he said he shot at somethin'
that same day that John see his strange %critter,
and Farmer Hawkins he thought it was some
wild critter that had got gu; of some managery
somewhere. Anyhow, l think that's Episcopal
ing, too. Be they bigger'n a chipmunk ~
I" You misunderstood me, madam
Wal, you needn't feel Uneasy. If there's any
Piscomaliums in this here neighborhoOd, you can
Jest make up your mind that they'll git shot We
are too feeling a community to let things run at
large which mout destroy and devOur somebody.
Come In, won t ye!
D1sRAELI's WnE.-The illness of the wife of
Ben. Disraeli. the English statesman and author,
has ended fatally. Size was intimately associated
with her husband 8 political success, and her de-
votion to him was repaid by his afecticnate con-
When Disraeli began his parliamentary
career he was without fortune, and his first
speech was a failure, bringing down on him
This only spurred him to more r~esolute
but he might never have scaled the
heights Of political greatness he finally reached
but for the help of his wife. She was the rich
Of Wyndham Lewis, and a woman Of
marked character and influence. United to her,
Disraeli obtained social position as well as politi-
cal distinction. and her ambition as much as his
own was gratifed when he became Prime Minister.
he declined repeated offers of an elevation to the
peerage, satisfied with his reputation as an author
a statesman; but he asked the Queen TO honor
wife with a title, remarking that any honor to
her would be one to him; and she was created
Viscouutess Beacon6eld in her own right. After
!, companionship of SO years, death separated
his distinguished couple, and leaves Disraeli a
oereft old man.