The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1873-05-09
SCRAPS.

The test of mans honesty Is
in the sacrifices he will make To
preserve it.
We can do more good by being
good than in any other way.-Row-
land Hill.
The Cincinnati Commercial is
trying to hire Susan B. to go ON
second Livingstone expedition.
Sec Naples and die" says the
proud old Italian proverb. Il
didn't quite die commented =
profanc American, ''but did very
nearly. The smell was awful
y Milwaukee lady had several
hundred dollars worth of point
lace clipped off her clothing by an
adroit thief while she was at
church singing: "Strip me of the
robe of pride; clothc me in hu
mility."
\ negro preacher in Georgia,
Transmitting the sentence, The
harvest is over, the season is end
cd, and thy soul is not saved" put
it: DE corn has been cribbed.
dere amt any more work, and dc
debbil is still foolin wild dis com.
munity."
''How do you spell Feladelfy -
asked small city grocer of his
partner one day, as he was sprink
ling sand upon letter which he
was about TO dispatch to the ''City
of Brotherly Love" why, Fel-a.
Fela, del, FeIadel, fy, Feladelfy."
Then I've got it right" said the
partner lin ignorance as well as
in business); Il thought / might
have made a mistake
A Detroit negro prisoner, on ms
way to the penitentiary for larceny
was asked what he thought of his
trial. He said: "When dat lawyer
dat Tended me made his speech,
/ made shuah | was gwine to take
my ole hat an walk right out o.
dat cot room; but when de odder
lawyer got up and commenced
talkin', den / knowed l was de
biggest rascal on top of de earf. y
Speaking of the wit Of Buchan
an Kead, a recent magazine article
says: 1T was only a few morn
ings before he breathed his last.
that dear friend, sitting by his
bedside, held his wasted hand
Upon one finger was n beautiful
cameo ring. 'Ah, see you have
head of Shakespeare she said, as
she examined the well-cut features
of the bard. Yes he answered.
feebly, it is the only way | GOULD
get ahead Of him.
There was great delicacy in the
manner in which a foreigner, hav-
ing friend hung in this country,
broke the intelligence to his rela
i-tions on the other side of the
water. lie wrote as follows: 'sYour
brother had been addressing Il
large meeting of citizens, who had
manifested the deepest interest in
! him, when the platform upon which
he stood being, as was subsequent
" ascertained, very Insecure, gave
way, owing TO which he fell and
broke his neck :"
There is story of doctor who
went TO settle in village out West.
and on the first night OF his ar
rival was sent for to attend 4 sick
child. He looked at the little suf-
ferer very attentively, and then
delivered this oracular opinion:
This hyar child's got the small
pox, and ] amt posted up on
pustules. We must approach this
case by circular treatment. You
give the little cuss this drauglIt.
ThatlI throw him into fits. Then
send for me. Igraduated on fits.
On one of the trips of an Aspin-
wall steamer the Storage passen
gers were so numerous as to make
them uncomfortable. The sleep
ing accommodations were aptly
described by a CALIFORNIA;, who
approached the captain and said,
Il should like TO have sleeping
berth, il you please "Why.
where have you been sleeping
these last two nights since we left:'"
"Wa'al, I've been sleeping atop OF
a sick mnn: but he's got better
: now, and won't stand it no lon
} GER @