New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1873-07-06
The Pleasures OF the Picnic.

This is the season of the year when pic
MICS are most frequent For real solid en-.
joyment, We, for our part, must prefer q
well conducted funeral to an ordinary pic
mic. You generally reach the ground about
eleven o'clock, and the exercises begin with
climbing hill, up which you are compelled
to carry two heavy lunch baskets. When
you reach the summit you are positively
certain that the Thermometer must be near
ly $500 in the shade. You throw yourself on
the grass, and in few moments a brigade
of black ants begin to crawl down the back
of your neck, while a phalanx of ticks
charge up your trouser leg. And just as
you jump up your Oldest boy, who has
been out in the woods, where he
stirred up yellow. jackets nest
comes in with his head and face
swelled to the size of a water bucket.
conveying the information that your other
boy, William Henry, is up tree and can't
get down. After laboring to release William
Henry, the thermometer seems to have gone
up 200o more, and you think you will take
a swim in the creek. While you are in the
water, young Jones strolls out with Miss
Smith, and unconscious Of your presence
they sit down close to your clothes, and en-
gage in conversation for three-quarters of
an hour, while you lie down in the shallow
stream, afraid to bulge and nearly killed
with the hot sun. When they leave, you
emerge and find that some wicked boy
from the neighboring village has run off
as well as you can, and when you get
back with the party they are eating
dinner from cloth laid on the
ground. spider is spinning cobweb
from the pickle jar to the little end of the
cold ham; straddle bugs are frolcking
around over the pound cake, caterpillars
are exploring the bread plate. grasshOppers
are jumping into the butter, where they
stick FAST the bees are SO thick around the
sugar. bowl that you are afraid to 90 near
it, ana there are enough ants in the pie to
walk completely off with it. You take a
seat, however, determined to try to eat
something, but you get up suddenly-all at
once, as it we're, for you have set down on
briar. Then William Henry, who has
quaffed an unreasonable quantity of lemon
ade gets the collie, and his mother goes
into Mysteries because she thinks he is
poisoned with pokeberries. You lay him
under an umbrella, and proceed to climb
a tree in order to fix swing for the
girls. After skinning your hands, tearing
your trousers and running your coat, you
get to the top, tie the rope and undertake
to come down on it. You do come down,
with velocity. and your fingers are rubbed
entirely raw Just then it begins to rain
furously, and the whole party stampedes
slackens you go back to the ground to get
the rope, and Just as you get up in the tree
the owner OF the place comes along with
gun and dog, and threatens to blow your
brains out and eat you up if you don't
leave Immediately. Then you come down
again with CELEBRITY, and get over the fence
as if you were in earnest. Going home in
the train all the passengers regard you, from
your appearance, as an escaped convict, or
a lunatic who has broken from his keepers;
and when you reach your home you plunge
into shirt, cover your hands with court
plaster, and register a solemn VOW never to
go on another picnic. And we are with you;
we will never either.-1Iar 4deler.