The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1873-06-20
Going to Market.

lou are married. and have been 70
hine months past. When YOU got mar
ricd your wife determined TO be domcs
nc; she intended TO econoinizc the house
hold expenditures therefore she ha
done the marketing and her dainty fee
nave plodded and FLASHED through snow
and slush these many winter mornings
4 iiut one day she says TO you, with Just
little turning aside of crimson face
that she ''don't like TO 90 on the stree
any more, people look at her." poor dea
: niue wife! and that the servants, sh,
: KNOWS, will give TO II certain .lone wild
; dy whose husband was kilt in the cut
, rest his sOuI lat least one half Wba
she buys before she gets home with it, n,
she does now one half alter Il is cooked
ana she looks distressed and YOU ius
bend down and kiss the dear face unit
u Is crimson again again with the whs
, ker brush, and tel her that YOU "will 20
10 market until il is all Over:" and then
she blushes again, and YOU resolve to
,lbegln to 60 to market in The morning
Morning comes, and your wife wakes
you, and you remember ourresoluton.
and get up slowly. She tells YOU that
Inc best things will be gone. and re-
marks That men are SO slow about
dressing. and when you suggest that
YOU will put Oh your Old clothes. she
says, yes. Then you look for your old
lclotlcs, when she rcmcnbals. after YOU
have taken down the contents OF two
wardrobes and arranged things with
masculine .ncatncss in large closet = thai,
size gave them TO an itinerant artist. in
exchange for beautiful cupid and n
bust OF Dan'l Webster You say no.
INN. when She says. "!.ichard Won
YOU VIII never get 10 market" but uut
on your clothes. which are new. and ask
.or The basket; and sLc.tells Won il i,
down stairs. Then you 90 for the ba.-
lhei winch is thus spccilically located
ana look and don't find it, and YOU 90
down >taiis from down stairs into lie
cellar amt don't find il. SO vou 90 back
10 onr wife and she tells yo,l that men.
never can find anything and that ,on
VIII ind the basket in the closet IN the
Kitchen: ana YOU 20 back-and tiud tbe
closet locked. Then YOU begin to wish
'llat III was already "ovcr." aud 90 bacl.
70 your wife. She tells YOU That she"ior-
@"l To- think of that" and that The KEY is
IA Hfid2cis room, and you tell her Will
gicn' aiacli;y. that You will 60 and wake
bridget up and get the key, and she tell.
t"ti. win greater aacriiy. that YOU
htedi mind, and- she gets out O.. bed
quite iiVcly, considering And Won gel
ne basket and stari 10 market. You
Ieti aM h"aid. The basket don't sct ra,,
on your arm. lom blush when you
meet an acIaasnlnmcc. Aou know heI
Knows Why yen are going 10 market 4
and YOUR conscience tells yol, that vouI
nave no scilsphlous regard Tor The truth.
when YOU say the weather is TOO bad ,orl
your wlic 10 90 out. and that YOU likcl
early rising. You gctio market and be-
hoid crowd !ou are painfully con-
scious you are out of place. Everybody |
looks ut YOU. You feel green. lourl
DlalId smile Is ia vain. l'ou canuutI
simulate experience. IolI are like nj
turkey set down in Il strange barn ward. |
You feel ihat everybody knows whvl
YOU came, and that YOU don't know
what 10 do. You feel guilty. Tour
hcrolc resolves 10 do something is M sue
ccssiul. our basket becomes more andl
more burden. An unconccrncd gen
tlcman, with an umbrella under his arm.
runs the point of the umbrella staff |
through the handle of your basket. and /
against your waist-band; and as vouI
bow, with more alacrity than grace. to
acknowledge that gcntlcmans attcn-
lions, YOU behold your basket moving
away on the conquering umbrella. In
The profound Obescence which youl
make to the umbrella, you necessarily
send your coat-tail. with its supportinr|
'einiorccment,. rapidly back. and bring
portion OF your person inlc violent
contact will portion Of a person of an
elderly lady who dives forward cyl.
claiming, Goodness gracious" The .
elderly lady was standing with her back
oward you. This manner Of salutation
IS not agreeable.
You recover. Your attempt to pur-
.hasc radishcs from a pork butcher.
iont result tavorably, and, by wayl'
Of modifying the cXecutioner of swine.
you buy pork. Then you see a lee oil.
mutton lying on block, and Won ask
Lhe game keeper what that vcnsion is
worth and he tells You price which is
very dear for sheep, but very cheap for
deer. and you buy it. Then you 60 on|
until you come to an innocent beef
butcher, and you grandly and con!iaen-
ily tell him that you know beef: and he
says yes. and hands down a piece for 4
roast. and tells you that there is not an
other piece in the bullock like il. and
you buy two round steaks, and vourl
basket is getting heavy, and YOU bribe
the butchcr-boy TO help you c.tfry It.
Then you turn away toward the fish
market. The butcher-hov ;e ~ h~,, /