The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1873-10-16
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

The Danbury NeVS man says tuaI parS
unknown" is where they don't advertise
- Many friends are like the shadows, which
follow you only while the sun shines.
- Do not shorten the long nights by slun.
ber, nor prolong the. short days by wicked.
ness.
- Bad temper bites at both ends ), it makes
people. uo,.. ..t,.f-,l,
= A citizen of Laurens County offers bale
of cotton as standing bid to any first class
circus that will visit that town.
Some men eat to live; while others live
to- eat. Which of the two is the more useful
class in society? .4
- Sincerity is speaking as we think, believ.
ing as we pretend, acting as we progress, per-
forming as we promise, and being as we appear
to be-
Newspaper men are not all "great guns''
but still they bear some resemblance to them,
for they are apt to make report when they
go off.
1t is stated that General Longstreet is
about to go into the iron business. He has
been the subject of a good deal of irony lately
from his former Confederates.
- "Johh, ma says you must get up. Break
fast is over, and it's most time to 60 to school,"
IT don't know what you say. Don't you hear
how I am snoring?" :.
- The prayer Of the old lady for her preach
er, "Oh. Lord keep him humble, and we will
keep him poor" is applicable to every class of
business men these times.
- Three things too much and three too little
are pernicious to man; to speak much ana
know little; to spend much and have little;
to presume much ind be worth little.
- A sanguine Virginian is writing pamph'
let to prove that the Dismal Swamp is capable
of being reclaimed by drainage, and he predicts
that it will at some future day be the richest
district in the South.
= The nineteenth baby took the premium at
a. baby show out West. One would have
thought the parents old enough to have had
little more sense than to make such an exhibi-
ton of their own flesh and blood.
"A wise clergyman, now deceased, once
said be had Learned to preach not only SO that
people could understand him. if they had
mind to, but also that they could not mis-
understand him if they had a mind TO-"
"A wag says he attended a fair last fall, and
the show consisted of a calf, goose and a
pumpkin, and that it rained so hard the first
night that the goose swan off, the calf broke
loose and ale up the pumpkin, thief stole the
calf, and that ended the fair.
"A respected resident of Richmond, Va,
whose character for varacity is unlmpeacheo,
recently testified Under oath that he hadn't
been sober for twenty years; which puts him
considerably ahead of any other Congressional
candidate in popular estimation.
-Alonzo G. Grant, the President Of the
European International Emigration Society
and agent for the Florida immigration Compa.
ny, who is at present in Ireland, writes that
he is hopeful of returning to Florida this win.
ter with seventy or eighty families of practical
and experienced farmers.
- The New Orleans Times has received the
following poetical gem from gifted correspon'
dent:
o, wunst luved another gal, her name 1t wua
but betsy deTe my love fur y0u Il 40 times
tt1ore hier.
= The first premium on matched horses st
the Oneida county fail, was awarded resident
Of Utica. As the Judges were tying the rib
bons oh an unsuccessful exhibitor demurred at
their decision, saying, "On what grounds do
YOU give the premium to Mr.. @-'s horses"
ion fair grounds" was the witty reply:
- Aslady correspondent writes that she
knows very little about the back pay question,
but she is going to draw her back hair over her
head according to the prevailing fashion, If 1t
lifts her of her heels and endangers her equi.
librium, and she should like to know what the
newspapers are going to dc. about it.
- Female druggist clerks are largely em4
ployed now throughout England, and they are
said to prove very competent to compound
requiring accuracy, neatness and method. 1t
must prove. moreover considerable mitigaA
ton to the bitterness and costliness OF the
drugs to have been dispensed by pretty women,
- A Michigan butcher takes the bones out
of his meat before selling It now. He had
dream the other night, in which he found HIM
self at the celestial gate, but confronted BY
mountain of bones, which an attendant spirit
said we're what he had sold to CUSTOMERS, and
he must climb over them if he would enter
heaven. -,
- Louisville has unwittingly committed IT.
self to q grand temperance refofrn by voting
to send drunkards home instead OF to the lock
up. The worst cases are cured in this way.
The men come out in day or two with some,
what less capillary adornmeht and chastened
look which tells Of the refining influences OF
home.
resident Of city in Kansas had offered Slo'ooQ9
to any man who would marry his cross'eyed
daughter, the hotels in the place were so over-
run with visitors that the landlords had to roost
some of them out on poles projecting from the
windows. The excitement was somewhat al
layed when it was discovered that the daughter
in question was 'colored, not plain"
- Who can read without emotion the story
of two little girls in Green Bay, Wisconsin?
The eldest was seven yeats of age, the youngest
only five A drunken father left them alone
in their room for six days, with only a small
loaf of bread for food. When the children
were found, the eldest was nearly dead, having
refused to eat of the bread 50 that her little sis
ter might not suffer: We hear a great deal Of
heroines Does history furnish all example
"A new article has been placed in the
Pennsylvania .aSsas c0Gaqo b M In 1e1 feon @ 70 hTe sui
been a citizen of the United States at least one
month and resident of the district two
months instead of ten days, as heretofore;
and also that his taxes shall have been assessed
at least two months and paid one month before
the election. Each ballot is to be numbered
L. n{nrDa