The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-02-22
PEPPER AND SALT.

Martin keim has been washing dishes ever
since the great masquerade. He is ready to take
in contracts frorn the hotels and boarding houses
We are preparing a sign for him, to be put up at
Turner Hall: "Dshes washed here, by NJ. Keim.
champion dish singer of Ottawa"
Parties from south of the river have found s
fox hounds stuck in snow bank at Watts,
where they "peered ont during the recent
great fox hunt. Their owners are requested to
call and get them before the J une rise.
Our devil was struck with the strategy of the
imp Of the Rfornler, at Morris in his love affairs
That youth called at drug store and asked for
love powders. The druggist hadn's any just
then, but could send for o supply. The satanic
youth ordered ton of the stuff, adding, "tms
blasted eff don't fetch that gal yit" Our devil,
as we have said, tried the same plan. The drug.
gist gave him pint Of stuff in bottle, and he
managed to palm it off on the family as syrup
for buckwheat cakes. 1t was mucilago; and that
family, after using some of it on cakes, fonnd
themselves fearfully stuck up. The girl won't
speak TO our youth-she don't speak to any body
she can't open her mouth. As soon az the old
man could open his, he first wildly swore, and
now our devil has to 20 to and from his meals up
and down dark alleys.
A wise party from the country was in town
the other day with an empty wagon. from which
he had unloaded corn. He was trotting along the
street at lively gait, ignorant Of the fac. that
his wagon had become uncoupled, the forward
eEd OF the reach rubbing the ground in the
bcst possible position for u smash up. runaway,
&C., &c; but our benevolence oaused us to inter-
iere in the mans behalf, though spelling good
item in the near prospective. We chased that
wagon two blocks and finally getting along side
| yelled at the driver the fact of his impending
danger. Imagine our feelings when that fellow,
sitter whipping hs horses into even l;velier
gait, put his hand to his nose, slowly gyrated
| hi, fingers around, and asked ia if we "saw any.
thing green - We disgustedly left him to his
! fate.
An enterprisng female swell has been play
ing it" on the nlce Young clerks about town
She operated on several with entire success
| This is u lair sample OF her al little game Sha
called At popular store ca ia Sails stree. and
asked 10 see something nice Tor a dress. She sat
i-fed her dainty taste with pattern and had i
put up she then ordered a bolt of sheetiug
Then informing the clerk tina, hor father was n
tie warehouse unloading his corn, and would b.
in and pay COR the goods, asked the clerk to shoy
her where she would find good dress maker
She was 20 ianccent and artless, 40 sweet AM
soothing, that no clerk could Withstand he
Establishments for a moment, aud straightwa
he would 70 with her to the door and point be
to the dress constructor She would dsp r. wit
the dress pattern. leaving the 'hsetius done
with her pspas name upon it. Then IN abou
Nh hour the clerk would grow doubtful; the'
as time wore on aud no pretty girl nor wealth
papa came, tina. clerk would become proportio,
ately sad In about days time the full mea
ure Of his gloom would be reached whom Il
whole of the fraud had developed itself D'
goods clerks, though always very cheerful Loo
ing persons, are not ever happy Over huff
r dozen of them now meauder around with
4 silent grief concealed about their persons Al
i gnawing their livers, az il were, caused by Ii
e girI- di-4greeable conduct.
Is Tho Rpuj,ico,,, in it's notice of the entersai
II ment to be given Ut the Opera House on Frid'
evening next, pays the ladies anything but
u compliment whom ii says 90 No gentleman W
As take part III The cporetts" We should class al
Il man who would refuse To take u part in an OF
OF rota or anything else in the midst OF fair iaa
nnd bosutiul fairies, ss anything but gent