American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1873-08-23
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
He Artists State-Pencil-vania.

ice.
A PRETTY rough page in natural his
| tory-The rampage.
PEOPLE who are not fond of soap are
generally fond of soporifics.
THINK between thinks if you please,
but don't drink between drinks.
THE women horse-car conductors have
for their motto-fare to the fair.
No man can be successful poet whose
liver is not diseased.-Dan6uryN et,s.
THE meanest of impostors-The man
who imposes his presence upon you.
AN agent of the fire-fiend has notified
Cincinnati that it will be her turn next.
CooI. mornings and evenings in Au-
gust presage what befel Albanian early
fall
THE greatest of bores-The man who
has nothing to do, and no means to do
that
THE Danbury Neus man says that
"parts unknown" is where they don't adj
vertise.
ONE half of the world don't know how
| the other half live-and it is none of their
business.
A LOWELL lady is disguised with postal
cards, because there isn't room for a p. S.
| on them.
WILD horses are abundant in southern
Kansas, and several parties of hunters are
| after them.
NEVER buy anything that You don't
want, and never want anything that you
can't buy.
A CIRCUIT court-The boarding around
| schoolmaster making love to a new girl
| every week.
If all Brigham's wives were to get
| $780, 900 alimony, it would take about all
mony he's got.
LIFE is never so sweet and danger never
so insignificant as when we scent out a
new scientific principle.
| DRINKERS in this country can hardly be
called heathens, but still the great idea
with them is jug-ornot.
THE fact that Turkey is preparing" as
announced by recent dispatches, will be
hailed as subject for Thanksgiving.
| IT is all very well to say that "hand-
some is as handsome does" but hand
some woman is handsome whatever she
does.
ONE profession, says Punch, is safe
| from the invasion of woman. She may
enter the army, but it is impossible that
she can man the navy.
CHARITY is not railway that runs on
theological lines, but heart with wings,
| full of innate sympathies, recognizing and
| al CidSSSo Vi ASSNS.
| A CHICAGO editor once heard the words,
'Sister, thou was mild and lovely" sung
at the funeral of an old lady who was
known to have been perfect vixen.
| STEALING money is serious business
out here" said a Colorado paper" but
you can kill a man, and all they ask is
that you don't leave him in the way"
| ais WOMAN" anxiously inquiries an
| no, ha
certainly is for some purposes, but she
doesn't make so good a mother-in-law.
A GARDENER in England claims to
have discovered method of varying the
colors of flowers by means of chemical
applications to the earth in which they
grow.
WHY is thief your only true philOsO-
pher? Because he regards everything
from an abstract point of view, is opposed
to all notions of protection, and is open to
conviction.
A NEWSPAPER says: "Without intend
ing to be personal, we feel bound to de-
clare that If our postmaster would resign,
many timid persons would feel safe about
their money letters"
THE hotelkeeper who buys, and manu-
facturer and furniture dealer who sells
bureaus without knobs to all the drawers,
firmly attached, are accountable for more
profanity than a baulky horse or decline
| in copper stocks.
TYPES continue to cut up antics, even
in well-regulated offices, we infer, from
seeing John Brown announced as "a lin
seed preacher" Probably Mr.. Brown
would decline the honor and remain con-
tent with being licensed.
A SENTIMENTAL editor says: at is COM
forting to know that one eye watches
fondly for our coming, and looks brighter
| when we come" a contemporary is
grieved to learn that his "brother Of the
quill has wife with only one eye"
THE young person who blows out the
gas, shuts the window and retires to his
peaceful couch, has turned up again, this
time at Dubuque, where there were two
of them, man and wife, and both had a
narrow escape.
AN English exchange predicts that steel
bars will shortly be substituted in that
country and the United States for bells
They are light, and give much more scope
to architectural design in the steeplc.
They are more easily rung, and are not
liable to crack.
WHEN mans grief is at the point of
writing poems upon it, it may be loud,
but it is not very severe. When man is
udgeling his brain to find any rhyme for
sorrow besides 'borrow' or Tomorrow ~
| his woes are nearer an end than he
thinks.-Ihackerdy.
| WHEN the great Nassau balloon fell into
the sea, in 1860, sixty rounds of ball car
fridge had to be fired into it before any
perceptiblc effect was produced in its size
by the escape of gas, each bullet passing
right through the balloon, and thus form
ing two holes in the big.
THE last number of In France Medicale
contains paper on the best means of cor
recting the bitter in medicines. The
value of sugar as an agent is generally con-
ceded. On the other hand, the infusion
of gentian is extremely disagreeable, while
the syrup may be readily taken, provided
the action of the sugar is not enfecbled by
the addition of water The one known
substance which in the highest degree
possesses the property of mufiling bitter
is glycyrrhizine, the sweet principle of
the licorice root. If, after taking quininc,
cOlocynth, aloes, quassia, or other bitter
medicine, "A piece of licorice root be
taken, the bitter taste disappears as if by
magic.
ITEMS of vital statistics recently pub
lished in Europe are cited in confirmation
of the generally received opinion that the
duration of human life is at present great
or than in past centuries Thus, it is
stated that in the city of Geneva, SwitZer-
land, registers have been kept of the year
ly average of human longevity since 1890
In that year it is given at - years and
months. At present it is over 40 years
The tables compiled by life assurance