Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1873-09-19
THE CALIFORNIAN AT VIENNA

am in bonds and fetters through
not understanding the German tongue
1t is weary torture to be a stupid, un-
comprehending foreigner. I am lost
in linguistic swamp. 1t is necessa-
ry to employ one man to talk to anoth-
er. The conomjssionnaire does not un-
derstand more than half | say. What
might he not be interpreting to the
other fellow? The most trivial want
costs me a world of anxiety and trou-
BILE. | desired some blotting- paper
[ went to a little stationery shop. I
said, "Paper! paper! fur die blot, you
know. Ich bin Englisher-er; ink no
dry; what you call um? Vas? vas?
Hang it!'' They took down all sorts
of paper-letter-paper, wrapping-pa-
per, foolscap, foreign post. | tried to
make my want known by signs. [ made
myself simply ridiculous. The shop
keeper stared at me in perplexity, dis
gust and despair. Then be discussed
the matter with his wife. [ fretted,
perspiring vigorously. I went away.
[ went to commissionnaire at my no.
tel. 1t required five minutes to explain
the matter to him. He discussed the
matter with the PORTER. The PORTER
isquite buried under gold lacea and brass
buttons. The commissionnaire returns
to me-. He thinks he knows what | re-
quire, but is not quite certain. All
this trouble for bit of blotting- paper!
1t is so with everything. Every little
matter of everyday life, which at home
to think of and do are almost identical,
here costs so much time, labor and
anxiety! My strength is all gone when
| have purchased paper Of pins and
d bottle Of ink. Breakfast and dinner
task me to the utmost. The slightest
deviation from established custom
seems to act on the people at the res
taurant like wrong figure in table
Of logarithms. It required three days
to convince a stunted boy in a long
tailed coat that l did not wish beer for
dinner. He would bring beer. I would
say, 81 don't want beer! | want my
some dinner" He would depart and
take counsel with the head waiter, and
[ would feel as if I had been doing
something for which | ought to be cor
rected. The latter functionary ap-
proaches and exclaims with domineer-
ing voice, ..Vat you vants?' [ reply
with meekness, DINNER, sir, if you
please" He brings me an elegantly
bound book containing the bill Of fare.
But it is in German: | look at it know
.ingly: Sanscrit would be quite as in
tii tcfti saee ssaeses' en- assEnrd
which [ suppose means soup. [ look
up meekly at the functionary. He
glowers contemptuously upon me. He
recommends me to an underling, and
bustles off to guests more important.
There are in the dining-hall French,
German, italian, English and Japan
ese. Tongues, plates, knives and forks
clatter inside-wheels roll, rumble and
clatter over the stony pavement out
side. Iwait for my soup. Hours seem
to lag by. | appeal in vain to other
walters. Life is too busy and import
ant matter with them to pay any at
tention to me.
|. The aristocratic German waiter is
cool and indifferent. 1t is beneath his
dignity to approach you within half an
hour after you sit down. He knows
you are hungry, and enjoys your pangs.
He is sensible Of every signal, every ex-
preston of the eye with which you re-
gard him. To appear not to know is
the chief business Of his life. He will
with the minutest care arrange a nap
kin while half-dozen hungry men at
different tables are trying toarrest his
attention. Before | met this man my
temper was mild and amiable: | be-
lieve in doing by my fellows as | would
be done by. Now [ am changed. l
never visit the Vienna restaurant but
| dwell in thought on battle, murder,
pistols, bowieknives, blood, bullets and
sudden death. After eating a meal it
requires another hour to pay for it.
A nobleman, dressed de riguour, con-
descends to take my money after he has
made me wait long enough. There are
two Of these officials at the hotel. One
in general manner resembles heavy
dealer in bonds and government secu-
rities-the other a modest, charming g
young clergyman Of the Church Of Eng
land. One morning, when the atmos-
phere was very sultry, | ventured to O.
pen window. The dealer in govern
ment securities shut it Immediately,
and gave me a look which humiliated
me for the day. said l wanted, if pos
sible, air enough to support life while
eating my breakfast. He said that was
against the rules Of the house: the win
doWs must not be opened. There was
too much dust blowing in the street
What we're a few common lives COM
pared to the advent Of dust in that din
ing-room?
You must live here by rule. Nov
city is treason. 1t is the unalterable
rule Of life that because things have
been done in a certain manner, so must
they ever be done. 1t Itrequires almost
revolution to have al egg boiled hard
in Vienna. | said at my first meal
"Ein caffee und egg nit hard" Itmay
be seen that [ speak German with the
English accent. The eggs came soft,
boiled. [ suppose that the noblemar
who attended on my table went to the
prince in disguise who governed the
culinary department, and informed hin
of this new demand in the matter O
eggs. tits pre8umable that the prince