Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1873-01-30
BREyITIES.

| BRETITIES.
QUERY for detectives-Do the eight
fingered" fraternity usually have taper
| fingers?
THE st. Louis Knights of St. Patrick
are to erect a $50, 900 monument to
| Daniel O'Connell.
METAPHYsICAL-A man bound UP in an
| idea is good illustration of the wrapidi-
ty of thought.
A LADY calls tine little memoranda her
butcher sends in with the meat, 'pencil-
1ngs by the weigh"
A HEN-PEcKED husband thinks his wife
would be formidable rival to the two
man with the iron jaw"
An Omaha man fired six revolver shots
at woman's waterfall lying in the road,
| thinking it was a snake.
| AN intelligent cutter in De-
| troit keeps readymadd gravestones with
the name - Smith cut thereon.
| TENNESSEE hires out convicts to work
on railroads, which looks like offering a
premium for them to make tracks.
DARwIN's health has been very poor OF
late. All the balloons in the Central
Park, New York. are also in poor health.
I.1,,-o1'1 s.shG,nlteacher insisted that
yellow was "yal!er," ana 11o aarged q
pupil almost 10 death to convince him OF
it.
Mr.. JUMPER says he doesn't like to
commit himself to ''picked-up dinner"
unless he knows where it was "picked-u up"
from.
THE Mexican Congress is not opposed
to railroads, but railroads must promise
not to compete with mules IN carrying
| freights.
In Colorado, when a lady wears dia-
! mond jewelry to any extent, she is allud-
ed to by the local gusher as being well
"salted."
AT Cass River Bridge, Mich, there is
child with thirteen toes on one foot, and
six on the other. Its father has six toes
on both feet.
| A COLUMBUS CO., bootblack, having
| amassed competence in his profession,
has purchased hand organ and retired
to enjoy life.
WHY is henpecked husband like an
opera hat? Because he's very big when
he's out, but Immediately shuts up when
he gets home
A GUILELEss Danbury man saw beau
tiful chrome advertised 'for fifty cents"
and sent on the money and received the
jack of clubs.
ROCKVILLE enterprise' is the lively
title Connecticut paper gives to an arti-
Gle about the purchase of new hearse by
firm Of undertakers.
GEORGIA issues invitations for 'your
company on Friday evening to candy
yank. NO persons carrying shot-guns
admitted"
How TO KEEP ORANGES. Dip them in
warm tallow and beeswax, and by this
means they are Theoretically sealed, and
can be kept long time.
THERE is one pleasant reflection on
going to bed in Titusville after poor
supper. The chances are that the hotel
will burn up before breakfast.
A LITERARY gentleman, who believes
in quiet life, is looking for a dentist 10
whom he may intrust the duty of ex-
tracing the organ grinders Of the city.
THE old song has been changed to suit
the season:
Mother, may go out to skater"
Yes, my dearest daughter;
But come back home at half.past eight,
And don't go into the water
A WIFE, having lost her husband, was
almost inconsolable Leave me to my
grief !" she cried, sobbing you know
the extreme sensibility of my nerves-a
mere nothing upsets them !"
| STANLEY stole the idea which led to
the title of his book, How | Found
Livingstone" from letter recently pub
lished in the Cincinnati Gazette, entitled
How l make Soft Soap"
A YOUNG lady living at Glen Rock,
Neb., born Of white parents, and of deli
cate complexion, has, since re covery from
sickness of strange nature, turned as
black as any Ethiopian.
CORRECT WAY TO SWEEP A GARRETT
There are three ways to sweep carpet
| one right and two wrong ways One
wrong way is to hold the broom nearly
| in front of the operator, with the handle
inclined backward toward him, then press
down as forward thrust is given, thus
throwing the heaviest dirt half way across
the room, while the light PARTICLES are
sent whirling about, covering, as they
settle, every article Of furniture. The
| right way to sweep is to incline tie han
die little forward, then give 6 light
drawing stroke, allowing the broom to
hardly touch the carpet. Not one half
the weight of the broom should be allow
ed to press on the carpet as the dirt is
moved forward. Let the dirt be moved
and rolled along very lightly. If gener-
Gus supply Of tea grounds, small bits of
wet paper, or clean and wet sawdust can
De spread over the carpet before the
sweeping is commenced, all the fine dirt
will adhere to the wet material A little,
smart woman who is terror to dirt will
frequently hurl it about the room as if it
were impelled by whirlwind, and when
the task is ended her dustpan will contain
scarcely enough to pay for sweeping.
But by using a good broom, having
long, elastic brush, and touching the car
pet very lightly, it will scarcely require
the strength of child to sweep large
parlor in few minutes. Scarcely one
housekeeper in fifty understands how to
to sweep a carpet correctly.
Heating Sick.ROOms.