The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1873-12-13
1he Aew @orth'afest.
SATURDAY. DECEMBER ~. 1873.
0BSERVATI0N S.
~ Max ADiLEN.

, s " ~ " ~
u, MAX AprLEH.
f',iln th. -rur.I EN",tn' l"''.
They ha," had u most unfortunate con
trovcrsey over in Camden. Mr.. Bang.
asserted thar Eoah's ark was one thousand
feet long. Mr.. Mullet contcndcd that 1t
WAS but five hundred feet in length and in
hi, effort I" induce Bangs to throw of a
few hundred feet from his estimate. Mm'let
explained the matter. and reasoned with
him. and presented the sub ect in different
iuhts. and held Bang. down and hit oh :,
n,nrscl Of his n">, and bumped hi- heat
AGAINST y ,,.pl,". We IT." not wish I" al,-
gear tm, Stern q u"raIi>'. bat II seem. I" IL
that the m",I,.l 81 ,nnll"tiig Ill" 'li-"n--
sion was partially wrong. Ihc" was ~"
really urgent u,,.'--its for sriilin. ID:
cues. ion "n the spot. Amn,t four Thousand
wear, have elapsed since Noah na'igat'd
rlr. ark. and ii j. likely il l:anGs had waited
an hour 40 tvs" longer lmi"r" determining
it, !rn4th III" delay would not have started
u ,",nllar Iami""i an earthquake. nor would
il Eayr thr"wn H." patton. 81 III" world
into u condition Of "',isu'~..' excitement.
IL w'rl have been wi-ri. therefore. tor
Bangs an, Multi either I" l,a." hunted mp
,nlrhuly who Naw the ark and measured
it with /, fv"i rule. or (" have procured
reliable SUNDAY ->rIrml book containing
picture Of the ark and t" lave mad" ~,
estimate from that rngrN ing. II was
absurd TO expect /" arrive ~ the
truth 10y hn.tin. IL" head 81 Mr.. Bangs
again>. :. fire plug. apart tl''m the gray"
wirk.dn"-, 81 the act itself: apart. "" say.
from the .rAnd,l"n> iuilnity al hatirril'I
AZ. ~,,rl, ,aulhIr puddle property ~ five
;u.. with >;rh y dense and obstructive
implement .. Mr.. Bangs heat.
\ number sc very worthy l"'", IL hcl,H''i
themselves With tn. belief tina, the world
would come I" an end ~, the 18th Of N"vrn-
brr"f this year. Perhaps il >nr' necessary
1" state thai ihry were Disappointed. bm'
We sill mr,l,i"u the fact in ~" any -! oar
reader, may accidentally has" "Nrr!'"k'l
il. Duvni rlLpl>. Mr.. and Mrs. Eriilparza.
were aulnir:! these second advrn'i>'s. and
ON the morning "f H." 9TH. they fixed them
Selves up in muslin robes and proceeded I"
ascend 10 the rnpf of the wrnl-liol,Sc. y"
tia, they could fly upward without meeting
will, any obstacle. After Grillparza had
reached the roof. he l"kth down and saw
Mrs. Grillparza coming on, "i the house
with an umbrella. u carlci-l'ag and her
wrapped up IN Il piece If paper. Mr.. Grill
para demonstrated with her upon the
,bSurity Of taking an umbrella with her
int" the next world. and commented with
much severity upon her Iriv"'it. and
wirkcdnc>> in thinking about her falls"
teeth, and g,iIn-sll"rs nj such Il solemn time.
But Mrs. ';rillIarza said that she wasn't
g"in +" risk getting rheumatism just for
the sake of appearances. and that il she
found she didn't want her teeth where SHE
WAS ."in'. she could give EN- 1" the poor.
Grillparza angrily todd her that n"b"ly
would want such thing. there. But >li"
insisted upon taking them along. Then
Grillarza told her that lc wouldn't let her
come up the ladder unless sl" tire" away
that umbrella and her teeth. Mrs. Grill
para then l"ran'c angry. and with very
proper spirit she >lr",k her umbrella at
i:riira,za. and todd him tia, if ne would
come down >l!r wnuli pound some sous"
into him. I;u, Grillparza would not come
down. ~, Mrs. Grill para took the ladder
away. and went int" the hot,>c--ma'l.
Grillparza spent all that day and the sue
crciimg night on the w.""l->lied. and finally
slid down iii. watcr-sl"ut nj the risk Of III"
life. and sought his wife. We were not
present at the battle. but We should judge
from the subsequent condition fIrllwrza
nose. that hi. wife won in about two
rounds.
My ncighbor Cl,nbb is yer, anxious for
his friend Turnbuil /" come home. Chubb's
cellar has been Swarmimg with rats. and
chubb tried to borrow dog somewhere to
deStry the vrrlnin. A. Turnbull WAS
about going I" Cincinnati for n week or
two "n business. he thought it would bc
. good thin. to SEM! his dog around to
CM,bb> I" stay until he returned. :" he
brought the animal. an enormous terrier.
placed him in the cellar and left. Since
that time no member Of II" thmhb family
has entered the cellar excepting Chuhb
himsrlf who went down n,nc (" see how
many rats had been killed. anil cam" mp
with a m"ntliiul Of meat less in hi. ri .lit
leg than he originally had. And now a,
soon as anyhsly open. the cellar door.
Tnnbnlls dog flies int" Il rage and threat
ems to chew the offender mp. IT is supposed
that the animal j. living high on the
provisions down there. but a. no fire can
u" made in the furnaces. the Chubb's are
gradually freezing to death. and il Tur,,bull
stays away much longer the family will be
in their graves. No man will know how
much vi.or there is IN the English language
until h" hears Chnbbcriticizing that terrier
dog. Chubb throws feeling and carnrstness
into his remarks upon the subject.
4 man VIII" plays practical jokes upon hi,
wife deserves to bc punished. and Slattcrly,
of Mumry. ~as punished. iii. wife had a
dread of cats. and before retiring mt night
she always looks carefully under the bed to
see that no stray p,,ss and n" man. an
robbery intent. are concealed there. \
few nights ago. after Mr. and Mrs. SIattrrly
had retired. S!attrrly. who has been learn
ing ycntriimlui.,m. thought he would anu>c
himself and scare his wiicby gently y"wling
and making the sound come from under
the bed. Mrs. Slatttcrly instantly sat up
and exclaimed:
'Jo>ial,. | d." believe there is cat in
this ROOM
"Oh. nonsense" grlntcd Slattcrly: and
then lie made the noise again.
~ tell yo,,. Josiah" exclaimed Mrs. $.
~ hear cat under this bed. wish you'd
get out and drive it away"
"Ol,, 90 to sleep. Matilda. said Slattcrly.
81 don't hear anything. THERE'S no cat
about
Then Josiah. with his mouth beneath the
covers. uttered a louder scrrccl, than before.
"Wcll. If You lvon't clear that cat out.
you brute, | WILL" said Mrs. Slattcrly.
So she reached over. picked up Josiah :
boots. and put them on in bed in order Ia
protect her feet and ankles from the infa-
rated animal. Then she took Slattcrly' =
cane aud stopped down to sweep It around
beneath the bed. Just AS she did 81 Josial,
emitted n fearful yell which might have
come from cat in the last parOxy SINS al
hydrnphobia. This startled Mrs. Slatterly
40 that she splang backward. aud in doing
50 she stumbled against the baby's cradle,
which was overturned. and she went head
foremost against twenty-five dollar look
ing-glass on the bureau. while the can,
flew ont Of her hand and lighted with con
siderable force on Slattcrly's head. Thu
screams OF Mrs. Slattcrly aroused all til.
neigl,borl,ood and even brought out tn.
firc department. SO that by the time tn,
baby was rescued from the wreck and til,
. broken glass picked up. two engines Ia,
streams playing upon the house, and tn,
front door had been burst open by III,
police and the iircmcn were engaged il