davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
BUDGET OF FUN.

AN UNEXPECTED REPLY.--Some scholars,
in the absence of better knowledge, some
times give rather queer replies 10 questions
which are asked them One OF our schoo!
trustees was taken considerably aDack the
other day by an unexpected answer from Il
pupil he was catechising The trustee was
visiting the school of his ward, and showing
ii off with great deal of pride to a number
Of ladies and gentlemen who accompanied
him.
During the visit lie put number OF ques-
tions to the pupils, and turning towards his
friends with triumphant ar at each cor
rect answer. At length a class in history was
called up, and the trustee, perhaps not unwill-
inc to display his own knowledge as well as
that of the pupils, asked the class number
Of questions, which were promptly answered,
till he came TO the following; "Why do we
celebrate the 22d Of February Because
# is Washngton's birthday" Why asked
the trustee, "do we celebrate his birthday
more than mine?" There was no answer.
The trustee looked from one to the other with
a sort of halt.surprise, hali:reproach, till fin
ally little, dirty faced tanglehaired urchin
at the very foot held up his hand to attract
attention. II know, sir" said the boy. "Ah"
said the trustee, with an air of relief and sa
tisiacton, why is it, my little man n"Cause
he never told lie!"
The litter which followed was one Of the
infectious kind which irresistiby swells into
Il loud outlaw, and the discounted trustee
retired precipitately, just before the laugh
had reached its climax.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
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The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

India, my boy" said an Irish officer to a
friend on his arrival at Calcutta, lis the finest
climate under the sun; but lot Of young tel-
lows come out here and they drink and they
eat, and they drink and they die; and they
say it's the climate as has killed them"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

Several Irishmen were disputing one day
aboyt the invincibility of theirrespective per
sons, when one of them remarked, Faith, I'm
brick" And indade, I'm a bricklaycr,n
said another, giving the first speaker blow
that brought him to the ground.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

RATHER MIXED.-A farmer, not accns-
toned to literary composition or letterwrit-
ing, having lost a hat at a meeting, and in.
CURED into its possible installing, addressed
the following note to its supposed possessor
Mr.. A presents his compliments to Mr.. b;
have got hat which is not his; if he have
got hat which is not yours no doubt they
are the missing One.N
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

A tough California miner named Smith fell
into tlume in which 400 inches of water
was running, and was washed down stream,
through a tunnel, Tor distance of 1000 feet.
lie then went down jump-ofi," a perpen,
dIcular distance of is feet, and was then
washed several hundred feet further to the
end of a flume. He then fell a distance of
30 feet on the powders. He wasn't hurt, but
maYbe be wasn't mad.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

If ploygamy has its pleasures it has also
its pangs. The NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. VIM
Clayton, who is saint of the saints OF Salt
Lake City, loses on an average one wife every
four weeks by elopement, which reminds a
contemporary of the Austrian Princes dia-
mond decorated coat, which he could not
wear without losing few of the gems. Mr..
Ciayton's stock, however, is probably large
and complete, SO that it will be long time
before he can be called, in the most lonesome
sense of the word, widower.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

Quaint conceit have little folks. My leg
won't walk" said a little girl as she limped
down stairs after some slight hurt, my bones
need oiling." The same little girl, having
been troubled for some days with canker in
her mouth, had contracted some careless
ways in eating. One day her mother reeproved
her: "My dear, DO not make so much noise
with your lips" But, mamma" was tie
quick response, 1t is great deal easier Ia
eat out loud when you have sore mouth. u
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

What's that picture ?" said a country
man in our hearing the other day in print
store, TO the proprietor, who was turning over
some engravings. THAT, sir" said the dealer,
"s joshua commanding the sun to stand
still" "Du tell! Well, which is Josh and
which is his sOn:'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

Miss Kitty -, daughter of DR.. =, loves
her father, and takes an interest in his pro.
lession. The other day lady friend called
to see her, and asked how she was, and how
she was getting along. ION, pretty well,
answered Miss Kitty; pretty well; plenty of
colds, some bronchitis, and little typhus fe-
yer; but as father said yesterday, to make
things lively, what we want is nice little
cpiQemiC.N
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

\ gentleman IN search of man to do some
work, met on his way a lady, not so young
IS she once was, and asked her
Can you tell me where ! can find a
man. NO, ] cannot" She replied, for |
have been looking these twelve years for one
r.yselfn
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

Doctor-"I am pleased TO say, Mrs. Fitz-
brown, that shall be able TO vaccinate your
baby from very healthy child Of your neigh
Dor, Mrs. Jones"
not permit that. We DO not care TO he mixed
Up with the Joneses in any way
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

An unimaginatve individual on visiting the
Falls of Niagara, was greatly prepleXed at
the establishment expressed by his compan-
ions, and on one Of them exclaiming to him,
&" Is it not most wonderful tall?" replied,
"Wonderiul, no; see nothing wonderful in
it. What's to hinder the water from falling"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

How TO get rid of the Modocs-Run New
York horse railroad through the lava beds.
The pick-pOckets would clean them out in
1CLtlc-quick time.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

An inquiring man at Albany thrust his
fingers into horses mouth to see how many
teeth the horse had The horse closed his
The curiosity Of each Was fully satisfied.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

4 cOlored convert in Georgia got religious
conviction at q revival one morning last week,
and a secular conviction for theft at a police
court in the afternoon.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

: fond husband boas;e,l Ia a friend, Tom,
The Old woman came near calling me honey
Ia: night" Did she, Bill: What lid she
say she said, Wei. Old Beeswax, come
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

NewsboyS are not allowed to "holler' in
Rome, but something like half = million
dogs can bark and howl without let or hind
rance
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

4 telescope has been ereted which brings
tbe moon within eight miles of the earth. The
people up in Goshen, who manufacture
cheese for a living are properly alarmed at
this and have called a town meeting.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

a young mans friends object TO his being
loose, but, somehow, they have an equal OBJ
lection to his being tight.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07

IOWA LA NDS.-Tbe undersigned are agents Tor
large tract Of valuable land, both improved and IN
improved in Union and adjoining couEtes In Iowa also IN
Missouri All business entrusted 20 viii be attended TO
with prompfness and fidelity We keep team 20 show lsnd
In our vicinity free Of charge. J. GALLOWAY sos.
For any further Information spriy Richard Thorue,
cttaSa, lie. u4Ech 2, l-sS-f
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
NEW YORK BAKERY.
THOMAS SPENCER.
PROPRIETORS OF

Main street. west OF La sale. ottawa Illinois, ieo:Oy
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
#isrIIaMceuS.
EOUN DRY ~ MACHINE SHOP.
VIM. STORMONT,
Iron Founder & Machinist,
Corner La Sale and Lafayette sts.,
Manufactures maeable iron castings Of the best Quahy
fronts for buildings OF different patterns dSor vii
pg patten can supply those in need OF such work on rea
sonable terms. Farmers In want OF o
~ HE VI IL ELL


wou,d do well N call and examine the Champion which
he makes and see it operate before buying any Other IL
der on terms Cash paid for old iron copper
and brass steam engines and boilers repaired Two en-;
vines now on hand-one IS and one horse power In good
order Save money and buy your Sash Weights at stor
mont's Foundry. aPro-S
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
ON AN & KAPEMAN
West Of The Court House,
HAVE LARGE STOCK OF
fine Bo0KSF FOR
EVERYBODY!

Popular Authors, in halt calf.
Popular Authors, in Morocco.
Popular Authors, in Antique.
Popular Authors. with Illustrations.
Juvenile Books, in Sets.
Juvenile Books, in Single Volumes.
Toy Books, in Oil Colors.
Toy Books, in Linen.
Juvenile Histories.
Works in Natural History.
Fairy Stories and Fables.
Books of Animals and Birds
Fine Quarto and Smaller Bibles.
Large Print Prayer Books.
Photograph Albums.
Fine Writing Desks.
Fine Work Boxes.
Chessmen.
Backgammon Boards.
Toilet Sets.
Card Cases.
Pocket Cutlery.
Fairchild's Gold Pens.
All are cordially Invited to call and examine our stock
OSMAN & HAPEMAN,
is La Sale Street.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
FURNITURE.
Looking Glasses,
Mattresses, &c.,
AT R. W. M00RE'S,
81 La Sale st.
Ot,aws, February 18th, 1919.
onn. bpr coluun advertisement about Iowa

CHM In another column, advertisement about Iowa
NEEy and Nebraska Lands.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1873-06-07
WN. TRAILING,
PORTER g. MASON.

LERY-A god stock 81
BOSNIAN SllAEENANs
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15

The contingency Of Ex-President
johnson entering the arena of cur
State politics in the contest of next
year, is commented on as follows by the
SheLbyUille Commercial, a staunch adhe-
rent of the ex-President:
''The Bdmler'S special correspondent
from this place makes it convenient to
remark, in the closing paragraph of his
communication Of Friday last, that the
friends of A. j. In this county are ar
IDENTIFY desiring to see him in the politi-
cal arena next year As we are one Of
the number classed as the friends of
Andrew johnson, and did morefor him
In days past than any man In Bedford
county, We feel at liberty to say that as
far as our knowledge extends there Is
not Democrat in Bedford county that
wants to see him connected, in any way
whatever, with the incoming elections
ia this State, unless it be i'll perfect ae-
cord with the party. We, for one, and
we think we can speak for ali the John
son men who are Democrats, do not de
sire to see a division in the party, and
shall do all we can to prevent it. The
johnson men were not johnson men
per Sc. There are other able and true,
Democrats that the johnson men can
rally around just as zealously as they
ever did around johnson. The time is
coming when he viii fill place of dis
tinction, and that, too, by the choice of
the Democratic party, without division
or opposition
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
MORAL CULTURE.

The very etymology of the word edu-
cation, which every school boy knows,
indicates that the human soul is living
power, capable of progressive growth.
The man IS IN the infant as the oak is
in the acorn. Both require cultivation
under favorable circumstances in order
to proper development. The tree Will
be strong and healthy or otherwise Just
as it happens to be placed in rich or
barren soil The child from the first
dawning of life. subjected to whole
some, healthful influences, adapted to
enoble and refine, becomes the true
man. If, however, he be exposed to
unfavorable influences, he will fail to
secure the mental and moral stature of
the educated man. He may secure an
abundance of food and drink, may wear
costly clothing, dwell in an expensive
mansion, ride out in a glittering equip
age, and dazzle the eyes of the passing
throng, but he is not yet educated; so
far as the great purposes of human life
are concerned, he is as useless as the
stunted desert shrub.
1t is not mere intellectual develop
ment that education accomplishes That
is essentially defective as a system of
culture which leaves out of view man s
moral nature Man has heart as well
as a head-a conscience as well as an
intellect. In order to fulfill his high
edestiny he must be charitable, kind,
honest, and humane, as well as possess
ability to reason, imagine, classify, and
remember The result is not the gain
ing Of money True, it socially eleyates,
and its subject is raised above want.
But education is necessary to thefulfill-
ment of the aim of our Creator in our
existence From NoUember Home and
School," Louisville, KY
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
TNDEpENDENT JOURNALISM.

The st. Louis Globe has some OBJ
seivations upon party journalism
worthy Of note. It says:
Party journalism is based on the idea
that a million of men, acting as a polit-
ical organization, are not apt to be
either fools or knayes. Independent
Journalism, as is now boosted Of, is
based upon the idea that single indi-
vidual, who may be a great mutton
head or great rascal, is a better adj
wiser than the million, acting in unison
as the party. A dictatorship would be
the best form Of government, if we
were sure of the best kind of dicta-
tor; and if we knew somebody who was
wiser and better than all the rest of
mankind, we should be in favor of in
dependent journalism, with that partic-
ular individual for that Independent
journalist.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15

The fall in the prices Of dry goods is
the first indication of return to sound
business. Dealers in other descriptions
of merchandise must follow suit, or
they viii stand but a poor chance of
doing any business this winter. The
charges exacted for everything that
one wears or uses in the house, have
long been out of all proportion to the
worth Of the article. Persons of all
ages havehadto suffer-from the child's
top to the old mans overcQat there has
been extortion practiced on Ill sides.
The toy stores generally lookfora good
trade from this time forth, but they
will not get it unless they ask some
thing like reasonable prices for their
articles. So with other branches of
trade. The public will now keep their
money in their pockets unless they are
treated with common fairness, and we
are glad to see the dry goods dealers
setting an excellent example.-Nelo
YOrE Times. Nor. u,
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
Exploits OF PRNDrCE.

For the week ending last night, the
produce exports from New York reach
ed the satisfactory total of about 81.
100000 During the previous week
they fell off to S5,500,000, which is
after all allowances are made, about
the natural average of the season. In
spite, therefore, of the difficulties of
negotiating exchange, the exports Of
last week were exceptionally large. OF
course, but for the large influx of gold,
such a result would have been impossi-
bic in the present state of this market.
That this liberal outflow Of our produce
will continue, may be confidently pre-
dicted The imperative needs Of
Europe justify such a statement, and
the fact that freight space in European
steamers has been secured considerably
in advance, is positive proof of the ac-
tivity of the export demand. There is
money enough in Europe to pay for all
our available surplus Of grain, cotton,
and tobacco, and the transmission Of
that money can be but partially affect
ed by any possible rate Of discount
Ne1g YOrk; Times, Nor r.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
Sauce FoR THE GOOSE.

Drowning men are said to catch at
straws. PShaps the siliest fancy of
those modern knights-errant, the In
dependents, who roam at large seeking
political windmiIls to demoiish, is what
we denounced on its first appearance
as the hari-kalI policy. Briefly, they
argue that the raisom d'etre of Radi-
calism. the only excuse for it's contin-
ued existence is the continued exist
ence of the Democratic party. With
affected impartiality they treat the one
party as the natural complement of
the other like the positive and
negative poles Of an electric
battery. Then philosophy is: Destroy
the one, and the other viii collapse
But in reducing this beautiful theory
to practice, they forget all them pre-
tensions Of impartiality, and urge ex-
clusively the dissolution of the Demo-
cratic party. Now, we respectfully
submit, that by their own philosophy,
the most effective way of wiping out
Democracy would be the previous
humiliation Of Radicalism. Let them,
IN pursuance Of their theory, work on
the other pole for awhile The Demo-
cratic pole has stood all the shocks Of
this century, surviving several foreign
wars as well as a civil upheaval of ter
rife energy. Recent elections show
that but little progress has been made
toward getting this pole neutralized.
Let our impartial" friends try their
peculiar influence on the other pole for
awhile. In time they might hope to
convince loyal New York, Ohio and
other States, which dread the revival
of Democracy so much, that the most
eifectual way to avert such contingent
cyis for Radicahsn TO play possum,
disappear from the political arena,
change its name to something else, take
a back seat-in short, commit suicide
Try it on. friends
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15
STATE, POLITICS.
views of Our Tennessee Exchanges.
From the SheIbyville Commercial, Nov A.

views of Our Tennessee Exchanges.
From the sheIbyville Commercial, Nov. IA.
For GovERNoR.-A correspondent
Of the ,lIclfl,psuiIle NeW Era having
suggested the name Of John H. Savage
as a suitable person to be nominated as
the Democratic candidate for Gov
ernor, the Sparta Inder remarks that
"we know Of no man better able to raj
ly the masses of the party In straight
out contest with all the elements of OPP
position" It is. with just such men as
the Hon. Geo. W. Jones, John H. Saw
age and few others that have been
mentioned that the Democracy of Ten
nessee will have to make the fight in
the coming contest, il they expect har-
mony and success. He must be Dem
ocrat in whom the Democracy have full
confidence in whose past record there
is no New Departure or Liberalism"
to mar the consistency thereof. Hence
forth, the party, if successful, must
rely upon its own mighty arm, and put
forth men of its own household of faith.
1t has pandered to the whims and pre-
iudieesof the so-called Independent
Conservatives TOO long already.
If such men are not willing to vote
for a true representative of Democratic
principles they can go to the Radical
party if they prefer It. There has not
been a genuine Democrat elected Gov
eaner since the manacles Of disfran-
chisement were knocked off their wrists,
and but few members to the Legisla-
ture, fewer to Congress and still fewer
in the Offices of Judges Of the Supreme
Court of tie State and county offices.
If good and competent men are to be
set aside because they were original
Democrats Tor those who have come
under the Democratic banner since the
war, then we are one of those who are
not willing to so surrender. We must
have men who represent the principles
of the party, and we know that there
are those who are honest, competent
and worthy, who have been reared in
the house of their fathers, and who
have not departed from the faith
With such leaders for Governor, Con-
gross and the Legislature, the Demo-
cracy viii rally to the man as in days
of old, and they win come in their
strength from the mountains, hill-tops
and valleys ee mass and vote them into
Office. Let the Democracy stand united
and leave consequences to take care of
themselves
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15

THE Vrginius was originally built
during the war as a blockade runner.
AT Mobile the Union forces finally cap
tured her, and in 1868 the Government
sold her to private parties, who after
wards disposed of the vessel to the Gu
ban patriots. Her chief employment
since that period has been the carrying
of supplies and troops between South
American points and distracted Cuba.
Twice she has been overhauled by Span
ish war vessels in neutral waters, but
each time shielded by the United States
representatives, of whom she claimed
protection, the decision being that the
VTginius could not be punished while
doing nothing and in a neutral port;
that she must be caught in some illicit
act.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1873-11-15

THAT political weathercock, the Near
York Herald, has this: The Democrat
ic victory of October in Ohio, it may be
contended, was accidental, but when we
find the East, the West, the North, and
the South all drifting in the same di-
rection. it is evident at least, that the
sprinkling clouds Of October have gath
cred and strengthened to the proper
tons of political cyclone in Novem.
Der In our political annals we have
never had in a single year such a gene
raj shrinkagc from the dominant party
from heavy majorities to small ones,
and to minoritics, as in 1873" The
panic with its universal shrinkage Of
values, seems to have affected the avail
able assets of the Radical party.