The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1873-10-03
YOURS TRULY" ON THE "AMERI-
CAN EAGLE"

TIC auleIlCdn eagle anu lduSilb AliAh ~
soar in majesty above their heads while
bearing aloft the proud emblem OF Ma
tional greatness. She had marched in
rapt bewilderment and silent eestaey
behind the 'iGreat Invincibles" and the
white toadies who were catering to their
votes. She had listened to the
stirring strains of "Hail Columbia"
from the Portland brass band and caught
her fiounces on a spike in the sidewalk
while keeping time with other sterl-
ing patriots, to 'Marching through
Georgia. She had heard so many spread
eagle declamations from divers and sun
dry school-boys in squeaking voices,
and seen so many schoolgirls decked in
red, white and blue, to adorn the stages
and pander to the school-boys' vanity
withal, that she had learned to look
upon the genus masculine as a species
of superior mentality whose wisdom it
was not admissible for schoolgirls to
sneeze at. But Yours Truly's disgusted!
She's nauseatedI She's mad! Just to
think, as Mark Twain would say, of the
tons Of sentiment she's wasted on the inn
aginary wisdom of man!
Professor Royals a little sqeamish
about the political precocity of school
girls. He's proper man is the Profess
sor, and so blandly precise. And then,
brother Roberts is so gingerly and nice!
With his face beaming all over with q
worked-up smile, suggestive of a per-
spring tallOw dip on an August after
noon remember this is a whisper for
your ear only, Mrs. d. he puts on a
holy tone and advices school girls, in
sepulchrally solemn voice,-relived, re-
member, by that omnipresent smile-to
'keepthemselves in theirproper sphere"
which we usually understand to mean
almost everything else but politics.
But Yours Truly lcW read the newspa-
pers. They're as much a part of her
daily education as are her efforts to
square the circles or solve the mystery
OF the parallelogram of forces.
First comes the AdUoedte, devoted to
local interests, religion and the Metho-
list Church. An excellent paper with
Z two or three readable columns besides
the advertisements every week. phil!
keep your eyes off your sisters compo-
sitiOn! You know it must be prepared
for inspection to-day; and its bad man.
ners for brothers TO meddle with what
doesn't concern them.) Then we have
| the NEW NORTHWEST, with twenty
odd columns of readable matter, and
nothing to skip but the advertisements
and few old fogyish admonitions to
with its essays on school books, and its
! personal animOsities and dissertations,
which used to be readable journal, but
which has become monotonous of late,
because of continuous caterwaul on
one falsetto note. We also have the
Bulletin, which employs a shorthand
reporter to give verbatim accounts OF
political Conventions. Yours Truly
reads 'em all, but particularly the latter
when she wants to know of truth just
what people say in meetings, where
women are not expected to appear fol
fear some political protector will insult
/ theml
Yours Truly read the proceedings o
/ the Democratic Convention, long
winded declarations and ALL She reaC
the sensible remarks Of Ben Hayden
the spread-eagle rhapsodies of Slater
Helm and Nesmith, and the whole ac
count of the Platform, resolutions anC
mock-heroics, and laughed till sh,
cried! "Oh," she thought, "they
have lost the American eagle and eaugh
buzzard! Instead of the great eagl
whom we remember as clean, high
minded bird, who scared clear above al
offensive offal, behold their buzzarl
burying his talons in the dead carcas
of the old leper Scandal and Cutting hi
foul appetite thereon! Behold him be
shining whatever his talons touch will
the reeking putridity of his inheren
rottennessI- Behold him seeking to &c
a start into the Empyrean by an attemp
to boost himself, all reeking as heis, iron
the PROSTATE carcass upon which h
feeds" Then Yours Truly dreamed
dream which it is not lawful for her t
utter or interpret.
The passing days rolled themselve
away upon the great scroll of the Invi,
ible, and another-the Republican Cor
vention-met and wrangled. Agai
Yours Truly read the Bulletin and agai
laughed till she cried.
Another company of political sag,
had sought to corall the American e.
gle, and 10! It was the same buzzal
which the Democrats had caught, al
they didn't know the difference, eithe
Plunging the buzzard into a great bal
of kalsomine and carbolic acid, the
thought to clean it, and when the
whitewashing work was done the
turned it loose upon the air and shOute
"LOng live the American eagle" The
the buzzard, true to its native instinct
buried its talons deeper than ever in Il
putrid carcass of the old dead leper Seal
dal, and fastening them into the co
umns of the OregOniGh, loaded thu
doomed paper down with reeking stene
and noisome nastiness. Yours Truly
only a schoolgirl, but she knows III
well the mighty difference between
turkey buzzard and the great America
! eagIe wbo sounding forth the iul