The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1873-06-14
WIT AND WISDOM

"l""LEh can not act well unless he ls
n the vein (the juygler vein Of course
This remark Is made IN a Ioc lar vein. That
vas a vain-ly act
ONE TO JIMMY Visitor u mamma
" have some sad news for you, nv dear
your doctor, Mr. CrushbOne, died this
morning Jimmy, one Of Six. Then
We shaut have any more babies, ma, ahall
se III
MARX TWAIN, a few months after his
hrst baby was born, a. holding Il on bis
knee. Ills NIte ssld- Now, confess, Sam
1el that you love the child Z" "I cant
10 that. he replied 5ut / am ling
~ admit | respect the little thing for its
I fathers sake
a YoUs.C man IN 8 suburban town cent
/ "f his Lrs- postal card. After writing 4
message VI the back he enclosed il IN An
envelope, clspped on 4 three cent STAMP
and dropped Il into the postotfce, remark.
I ing that Il was very handy arrangement
and should have beon introduced years
I agO
! LARGE FEET.-At the theatre, a gentle
man felt the pressure of two feminine
| feet upon his latent leatbers M adam
| he gently suggested YOU are standing "a
! ny feet ' Your feet, SIR Yes
madan. Goodness beg your pardon.
sir ! thought Vas standing on a block u
wood they are quite large, slr Quite,
| but you covered 'enl, madam"
A LITTLE story d. told by one of the
come pictures m the current HdrUsrs Ba-
sdr which will " appreciated BY All house
keepers. A ragp.ck-r. searching a barrel
VI refuse finds 4 silver fork, and holding
Il admiringly before his eyes, eKcaims in
rapture Oh thin servants Whist
a blessing
A RicH old fellow Who owns more houses
than any man In Toledo. was waited upon
by a committee for a subscription 10 rebuilt
the fence about the cemetery His reply
was characteristic ss well as humorous.
Gentlemen, | have always made IL a rule
II my business never 10 make repairs until
the tenants begin % complain
THE driver. or rather tie editor II the
Central City. Colorado, Coach gives the fol
lowing warning TO subscribers The
writing editor Of the Coach carries hia office
III hls hat, and will always be found at
home. The lighting editor will be around
every Saturday evening % settle all diff
cultles The financial editor has gone t.
the Vienna Exposition. No bills viii be
paid uUtIl he returns.
Hoop, in his COr,ir 4aauaI for 1890
communicated the following from = con
trIbutor Sue, my wyf had tomb cat
that dyd. Being a torture shell and
CRATE fayerit, We had him berried In the
guardian, and for the sake of nrichment ~
the sile, had the Carkis lade under the
roots Of a guzberry bush, the frute being,
up till then, Of the smooth kind But the
next sesOns frute after the cat was berried
the guzberrles was all hairy. and more re-
markabul, the catpillers of the same bush
was ali Of the same hairy description
MK BRANDYTubDY \ three reasons fur
not drinking are very characteristic u that
gentleman
Take something to drink IN said hls
friend to him one day
NO, thank you, replied Mr. B.
NO why not 4 inquired his frien /. IN
great amazement
In the FIRST place, returned Mr Bran
! dytOddy, II am secretary ID a temperance
society that Is 70 meet to-day, and | must
show my temperance character In the
second place, this Is the anniversary Of my
fathers death, and out Of respect for him
nave r1mIsed never tu drink On this day
and ia third place have lust taken
something
A Ban Document A short time since
4 cOlored man entered the office Of the clerk
Of tAe county court. and advancing "a
table where the deputy clerk Was buslly
engaged, he produced a marriage license
Tor which he had payed the legal fee a few
days before
'BIss, sald hr, pukIug the license un-
der tha un~r no tnr absorbed deputy.
-N hAt Ky It was the impatient reply
Boss. continued the dlrkrv. "de laiy
declines ds document. ana ! futch It ~
get my money back
IL Na- httLr cuuSohug to the darkey ~
be tulj some u emu further and Jared worse
bur when assured hls money could not be
returned. Le turned Indignantly on hs
double sa.cd pumps aud luu,trred a. Ne
made hIs -Alt, -Evrrybodys done gone
Duck uu dis document
TErUTALLEEs who fylcitate themselves
+ un tle progress oi thr0r cause el'l dD ven
5u dIges, the following An uld stagcr
4 Vas compelled uy AIs worthy spouse 90
F.. ''Join the -'i t-uater army. whi.h hs did,
7 PROMISING. never tu touch a drop OF sny.
\ ,hIng else. except Id sickness. s. far tar
7 story Is excellent. but nav for the moral
\ The reformed individual has %, ser been cell
. SiItrt