The Lambertville record., 1873-07-09


THE RESULT OF TOO Much PATRIOTISM
The editor Of The Beacon announced in his is
sue previous to the Fourth" how patriotic
he should feel when awakened by the explo-
sion Of fire-crackers under his bedroom win
dow; and further, that the man who could ''be
so foolish as to allow few fire-crackers to
ruffie his temper, does not love his country"
He also informed the boys that Fourth of July
commenced at 10 o'clock " at night.
AS result of these announcements nine
hundred and ninety-nine boys (just the figures
of the Penna. r. r. lease) called on the young
man at about midnight of the 3rd, (as "the
fourth commences y at that time,) and inn
mediately commenced . to fire offa few bar
rels full of crackers for his delectation. He was
in the arms of Snoozibus, but on the first
round, he jumped up and wanted to know
what was the use of letting earthquakes run
around loose after dark. Just then another bar
rel full went off, assisted by thirty or forty
guns, $685. etc. AT this he crushed to the
'front.' and yelled 8. What is all this horrible
noise about-clear out you rascals. and go
suddenly +! Do you hear ?'' &C No man loves
his country who can't stand a few fire-crackers
under their windows" yelled the boys. Eyes,
yes, that's SO, said he "Guess, | might as
well submit to it and join in the chorus" hs
remarked sotto 8oce, SO he commenced to sing
in his sweetest strain the national song
s"osay can you see by the dawn's early light,
Yankee Doodle come to town on striped pony,
Hail Columbia, happy land,
For the Modocs We will stand"
ttSaauac ta mo ba co0itatad have opf
things little mixed in that song' About
this time the baby got awake and joined in
the festivities. go dear, what can the matter
be" said he, sseems to me / don't feel half
as patriotic as used to be- What do these
fellows mean raising a hullaballo around here,
disturbing inoffensive citizens" All this time
the fire-crackers and guns and pistols, &C.,
ETC., kept banging away. Ha! | have
itl' And he rushed to the window. "Boys !
boysl!" he cried ''you have mistaken your
man--the Bedconite who isn't annoyed by this
blasted noise lives in Franklin ST. "That
won't do old feler," yelled the boys, and
bang bang went the crackers and guns
"Now have it, " said he, and he again sprang
to the window and exclaimed: "Boys, it is
all right to stir up folks on the 4th, but the
4th has gone by-I have just 'grasped the lever
that moves the world and pushed the whole
thing way past the 4th." "Would you dare
to knock daylight out of the glorious 4th ?"
yelled shrill voice, ''where's your patrotismr'
and bang bang went the guns and things.
"fhis noise is uncomfortable" {" said he, sit is
an outragc-but will try them again. Boys"
he said, 81 am under the most fastidious
obligations to your little majesties for your
serenade, but don't want to absorb all the
patriotism of this occason feel generous
| want to divide it around Go up to THE
it, "That won't do,'' said chorus of
voices, eve have beenup there and he told us
he wasn't patriotic-not in that way-but
there was young man down here that was,
SO we've called to spend the night with you"
At this he began to get mad. Bang! bang I!
went the guns, and pistols and crackers and
"sieh like, the baby cried and the dogs bark
ed. In desperation he seized wash stand and
hurled it out of the window. The boys Yelled
and bang went the guns, &c. Frepzied, he
seized a bedstead dashed it out of the window,
followed by picture frames, chairs, what-nots,
sofas settees, cradles, &C., &C., but no effect
was produced upon the crowd, and the noise
still further increased In desperation, he
grasped one Of his editorials and commenced
to read it aloud. The noise broke off so sud-
denly that the guns and pistols and crackers
only gave half of report. The countenances
of the boys assumed a look of injured mno-
cence, If they had been unfairly dealt with,
and in five seconds time not soul was to be
seen. He had conquered them by bold piece
of strategy.