The Republican journal., 1873-04-03
Written tor the journal.
Register Studies. No. J.
.SpID oNTy nv SIrpSrpIpTIo>-

SOLD ONLY BY SUBSCRIPTION.''
If women ever vote and hold office, I'm
sure one Of the first acts passed by a
female Legislature will be an act entitled
''An act for the better protection of house
wives.'
BE it enacted by the Senate, and House of
Representatives, assembled, that no able-hodiad
person in male attire shall, Surrepttlousy or
otherwise, enter private houses for the purpose
of selling books, pictures. furniture polish or
any of the things usually hawked about the
streets, to the great Inconvenience and annoy
ance of hOu>ekeeperS everywhere.
Sec. ID, That whoever shall violate anv pro-
vision of this act, shall have his name stricken
from the list of voters for the space of ten years,
and be dressed in female attire tor three months,
and be tel on Slate pencils pickles, and cream
candy during that period"
''Sold only by subscription Medam,'
is still ringing in my ears It haunts me
by day, and disturbs my dreams by
night In short it has become u perennial
nightmare, worse than the Newburyport
ghost that haunts school-marnls, OF the
Syracuse ghost, that haunts engineers aud
firemen, and takes IN airing on cow
catchers
In general, can say no about as easily
as can say yes. The trouble is the mis-
creants won't understand that no applies
to books sold only by subscription. !"
The innocents look so bland, and smile so
sweetly, rs though they We're conferring
the greatest favor Imaginable, in giving
ne such ''rare chance to replenlsh my
library with such excellent books"
| have tried in various ways to protect
myself against their intrusions; but can't
recommend any one plan, as entirely sue
cesstul, In the first instance | bad my
door-plate taken Oft, and then instructed
kathrina to tell all callers, who asked to
see the 'lady of the house" that | was
"engaged-could not possibly see them"
That worked we'll for time, by which ]
calculated saved myself ten dollars cash,
two hours standing on the door r-step par
leying, and a good deal OF self-respect.
| prided myself immensely upon my
shrewdness in outwitting the whole tribe
VI DOoh-tStulS, CillOiIlJ NtutltiS, soap
pedders, furniture polish men, boys with
rising-sun stove polish, &C., &c. for they
all came under the head OF those who
asked to see the "lady of the house."
How | chuckled over my neighbors when
l saw them standing for hours, in the
'windy moisty weather." talking with.
~, a. 5,
but a far more difficult character to man
age~ Well, peace reigned in my soul
absolutely entertained the idea of apply
ing to Congress for patent right for my
scheme--when--wel | was sitting COM
fortably in neglge attire one warm au-
tumn day, when Kathrina raped at my
door saying, "Ein Geentleman in die par
lor will see Mess Ray" ''Stop Kathrina,"
| said "did the gentleman send up his
card2" "Nein, nein, aber er ist Elm gutes
mann" And off she went to her cabbages
and sour-krout. Suspecting it might be
our young minister who had recently
come to town, and whom Katharine had
not seen, put On my best summer silk,
touched up my braids and crimps with
delicate ribbon. and descended to the par
lor, prepared to make my "best boa0"
With closed blinds, and curtains closely
drawn, to keep out the bright sunlight,
scarcely stopped to take observations, un
til, with outstretched hand, stranger
met me half way with the most beaming
of smiles, and radiant Of countenance.
''There must be some mistake" thought,
or was this man friend of my husbands
| would be civil, and wait
"Mrs. Ray, | believe. | am happy to
meet you. Is the squire at home?" II
beg pardon SIR" I replied, II do not re-
member having met you before" ''Pos-
sibly not, madam he answered, still with
the same bewitchng smile. 'but l saw
you, with the Squire at a funeral in Ban
gor! and thought would call, and show
you a valuable work, in which am sure
you will be greatly interested. | am ex-
tremely sorry the Squire is out of town, l
should be 50 happy to meet himm What
impudence!- what eifrontery! Here | was,
fanked, taken by surprise in my own
fortress. Door.plate otf-''engaged"-
all had failed to protect me. drew my
self up, saying 81 am extremely obliged
to you for the great consideration and