Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1873-09-19

\ VERY SURPRISING SURPRISE PARTY
Those surprise parties, somehow, nearly al
ways turn out unpleasant. They tell about
one that came off up in Connecticut recently
which was not half a. Joyous as it should
have been. 1t was reported of man and
his wife, who had been married for many
years without having any children, that they
had at last been made happy by the birth of
a daughter Some of their friends deter
mined to give the man n presentation sur
prise party. So about forty persons marched
up to the house. one evening, carrying a
craddle and lots of gum ringS, and biDs, and
bottles with gum nOzzleS, and baby carri-
age. and some little night gowns. and co
raj armlet. and 4 gross of soothing syrup,
and paregoric And they all burst into the
parlor at once on tin toe. And when the
man. in amazemeEt, asked them what they
meant by such conduct, they said was com
inc quietly. so rs not 10 wake the baby And
he hlu-hed and stammcred and asked, What
baby?' they said his baby. and began to hand
him the things. and to load him with sooth-
Ing syrup and gum rings until he lloored one
of the guests with a quart bottle Of parego
ric. and held him down until be expired.
And then it was revealed that it was all n
mistake about the little daughter; that no
such arrival had taken place at all, but that
the report was false. And then the surprise
party was a great deal more surprised than
the man was and the guests gathered up
that infant furniture and tried to pretend to
the man that they never thought he had q
daughter. but that they understood he had
accepted position as a director of an insane
asylum, and that they brought around a few
things for him to distribute among the poor
fatherless children. The man said it was
singularly thin, and then the company went
home The constitutional convention ought
to adopt some kind of measure to prevent
these mistakes Mar Adeler.
READY WIT.-There is n good story told
of II. J. Byron, the English dramatist, which
serves to illustrate the readiness of his will.
lie was invited on one occasion to the house
of f. c. Burnand, also playwright, to par
tieipate in some charades to be given for the
entertainment of a large number of fashion
able people. Byron was announced as third
on the programme, but when the first act
was over it was discovered that he had as yet
made no preparation for his part OF the show.
Therefore Burnand went to him and said
Come, Byron, hurry and arrange some
thing; we will be ready for you in few
minutes Byron started out of fhe room
to ''look something up" He proceeded to
the nursery, where he found child's rock
ing-horse made of pine wood. or, as the Eng
hsh call it, deal. This he ordered to be
taken down stairs, and placed on the stage
Immediately behind the curtain, as the see
ond piece was already over. When the cur
tain was rung up, there he was standing be
side the horse in an attitude that would have
done credit to a circus master. Ladies and
gentlemen said he, pointing to the horse,
'this represents one Of the Islands in the
Greek archipelago, Del-Os." Then the cur
tain came down and the audience - con-
yulsed." But this was not all, the curtain
went up again, and Byron sepping forward
said, Ladies and gentlemen, another island
in the Greek archipelago, Sam-os.' As an
example of unprecedented wit this
would be hard to beat