Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1873-01-03
CURRENT ITEMS.

THE greatest army contractor-peace.
THE epiZootic has got among the cats
in Boonville, Ind.
"WHERE shall settler" writes young
man. Settle at the office.-Fdt C0RtTiJu.
tors Saturday Might.
THE st. Louis knights of st. Patrick
are to erect $4,000 monument to
Daniel O'Connell.
THE latest sensation in Mount Pleasant,
Iowa, is the milkman going about the
streets with heated stove in his wagon.
Mr. JUNIPER says he doesn't like to
commit himself to 'picked-up dinner" Z"
unless he knows where it was "picked-up"
from,
DARwIN's health has been very poor of
late. All the baboons in the Central
Park, New York, are also in poor health.
THE Mexican Congress is not opposed
to railroads, but railroads must promise
not to compete with mules IN carrying
freights.
Why is henpecked husband like an
opera hat? Because he's very big when
he's out, but Immediately shuts up when
he gets home.
A LITERARY gentleman, who believes
in quiet life, is looking for a dentist to
whom he may intrust the duty of ex.
tracing the organ grinders Of the city.
In Colorado, when lady wears dia-
mond jewelry-to any extent, she is allud.
ed to by the local gusher as being well
"salted."
THERE is one pleasant reflection on
going to bed in. Titusville after poor
supper. The chances are that the hotel
will burn up before breakfast.
TIE Peoria Reoieao judges from the
amount of bad poetry that is sent to it
that an impression is abroad that it has
offered prize for the worst poem ON au-
tumn..
THE happy pair at an Allegan tin wed.
ding were the recipients of a multitude
of such useful articles as tin corsets, tin
bustles, tin overcoats, tin bonnets, tin
oYershoes, ETC., etc.
THE Legislature of Vermont has, in
imitation of that of Minnesota, passed an
act Furnishing by fine any pointing of fire.
arms at person in play, adding an i'm.
prisonment of two years when any injury
results from the folly.
A LITTLE girl was one day reading the
history of England with her governess,
and coming to the statement that Henry
l. never laughed after the death of his
son, she looked up and said: "What did
he do when he was tickled?"
WHEN Cincinnati editor gets up an
item of news, even by accident, the pro.
prietors present him with a magnificent
residence. Cincinnati editors all live in
rented houses. Louis Globe.
THE editor of Southern paper wants
to know ''if the man who sent him a chal.
lenge to fight duel means business" OF
whether "his buzZard soul laughs at the
ghastly joke"
In speaking of the local debating so
ciety, a paper says: "Our village
debating clubs are in full blast, and ques
tions that have engrossed the intellectual
functions of sages ever since the flood are
being decided at the rate of two week. .
A PITTsBURGH paper wants a real prin
ter's monument erected to Horace Gree
leySto be cast from worn.Out type, which
newspaper offices from all over the coun
try car contribute, and be mounted on @
granite base.
The old song has been changed TO suit
the season:
"Mother, may go out to skater"
" Yes, my dearest daughter:
Bat come back home at halfpast eight,
And don't go into the water"
AccoRDINa to the Greenvile Sentiae
and Reporter, the girls cunning little
DlOlhSI CuDoIllulOi ! an llidllllC ltlllG lOl
the confectionery in her lovers overcoat
pocket. The young mans hand is about
well, but his larcerated feelings are YET
troublesome.
JUDGE SMITH, after he was seventy
married wife considerably his Junior
One day, soon after the ceremony, he was
riding with her, and on coming to hill
she bantered him with the remark
Judge, my father always used to walk
up hill y So did my first wife, replied
this Judge
AN absent.minded gentleman, writing
letter at the breakfast table, dipped his
pen, his coffee aud continued his letter
Noticing his mistake, he put lump OF
sugar in the ink, and then finding his
second blunder, poured the contents ol
the ink-stank into the coffee pot to set il
right
That was a good, though rather O
severe pun, which was made by a student
in one of our theological seminaries land
he was not one Of the brightest of hi,
class, either when he asked, "Why is
Professor - the greatest revivalist OF
the age ?" and, on all "giving it up,
said, " Because at the close of every ser
mon there is Great Awakening"
A WAC went TO- the station at one of the
railroads., one evening, and, finding the
best car full, said in loud voice; "Why,
this car isn't going" OF course this
cauged general stampede, and the wae
took the best seat. In the midst of the
Indignation the wag was asked; "Why
did you say this car wasn't going y
"Well, it vast then" said the wag
"but il is now"
"A BOY named William Adams pleaded
guilty 10 the charge OF stealing watch
In the Court of Oyer and Terminer and
though the complainant said the boy had
previously had repeated opportunities OF
stealing from him and he thought per
haps he only meant TO play trick, judge
lngraham sent him for one year TO the
penitentiary, remaTking that the fTe
queney OF crime among hoys required 1
warning,-M 7, Herald.
"A LOUISIANA aunt of the late Horace
GreeleV relates that aome veara s0o ha,