The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1873-04-03
IDAHO WORLD.
STORY.

&c .ha e ro;sfortnnes that befell an Ameri-
can gentleman, upon visit to lady IN
Paris. to whom he bore letters OF intro,
dnction After relating a number OF
lndicrous and amusing mistakes upon
his entrance into the presence OF the Ia
DIV, he thus proceeds:
The ordinary routine of French din
ner commenced. A regular series OF
servants appeared each instant at our
elbows, inviting us to partake OIL a
thousand different kinds of wine under
strings of names which no more I'M
derstood than understood their com
position, or they did my gaucherles:.
Resolute to avoid all further opportunl,
ties for displaying my predominant
trait sat in the most obstinate silence,
saving oui to everything that was OH
cred to me, and eating with the most
devoted application, till my fair neigh
Dor, tired with my taciturnity and her
own, at length herself began a CONVEX
sation by inquiring how was pleased
with the opera. / was just raising a
large morsel of potato to my mouth, and
in order to reply as quickly as possible,
l hastily thrust it in, intending to swal-
low it hastily. Heavens! 1t was as
hot as burning lava. What could | do?
The lady's eyes were fixed upon me,
waiting a reply to her QUESTION But
nv mouth was in a flame. l rolled
the burning morsel hither and 'thither,
rocking my head from side to side;
while my eyes, which involuntarily |
had fixed on her, were strained from
their sockets. She regarded my grim
aces, the cause of which she was ignor-
ant, with an expression of amusement
and surprise, at which l can laugh
now when l think of it.
Monsieur is ill?' at length she gen
fly and in an anxious tone inquired;
I could bear no more. My mouth was
faying with intolerable pain; so quiet
" abandoning the point, | opened it to
the utmost, and out dropped the infer
nal brand on my plate Not the slight
est tendency to visibility ruffled the i'm
perturbable politeness of the lady. She
soothingly condoled with my misfor-
tune, then gradually led the converse
ton to variety of topics, still exerting
the magic influence that true politeness
always exercises, and begun to for
get even my own blunders. Gradually
my cheeks burned less painfully, and
! could join in the conversation with
out the fear that every word l uttered
shared the fate of the action attemp-
ted; even ventured to hope, nay to
congratulate myself, that the catalogue
of calamities was completed for the day.
Let no man call himself happy be-
fore DEATH said Scion, and he said
wisely The Ides of March were not
yet over. Before us stood a dish of eau
'lifower, nicely done in butter. This
naturally enough took for custard pud-
ding, which it sufficiently resembled.
Unfortunately my vocabulary was not
extensive enough to embrace all the
technicalities of the table, and when
my fair neighbor askedif was fond of
chorfeur, | verify took it to be the French
for custard pudding, and SO high was
my panegyric of it that my plate was
bountifully laden with it. Alas, one
single mouthful was enough to dispel
my illusion.
Would to Heaven that chorheur had
vanished with it. But that remained
bodily, and as l gazed despondingly on
the large mass that loomed almost as
large and burning as Vesuvius, nv
heart died within me. Ashamed to
confess my mistake, although could
as readily have swallowed an equal
quantity Of soft soap, struggled on
manfully against the mountainous heap
at its base-and shut my eyes and
opened my mouth to inhale as large
masses as | could without stopping to
taste it: But my stomach soon began
lntelligibly enough to intimate its in
tention to admit no more of this nause-
GUS stranger beneath its roof, if not
even expelling that which had already
gained an nnwelcome admission.
The seriousness OF the task had nm
dertaken, and the resolution necessary ,
to execute it, had given an earnestness :
and rapidity to my exertions which my
appetite could not have inspired, when
my plate, having got somewhat over !
T the edge Of the table, upon my leaning /
forward, tilted up, and down slid the 9
disgusting mass into my lap. Ny l.
Pandkercbief, unable to bear SO heavy G
3 load, bent under in its tnrn and q