davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
WHOLE NO. 944
Josh Billings Papers.

Most people are like an egg, too phull of
themselfs to hold emmy thing else.
Misery luvs kompany," but kant bear
kompetlshun, there amt no boldly but what
thinks thare bile IL the Sorest bile in markit.
To be big man among men IL what proves
mans karakter-to be bull frog among
tadpOles dom amount to mulch.
What a blessed thing it il that we kant
"see ourselves az others see us''-the sight
would take all the starch out ov US.
Thare iz lots ov pholks in this wurld who
kan keep nine out ov ten ov the command
msnts without emmy trouble at all, but the one
that il left they kant keep the small end ov.
If want tew git at the trew karakter ov
man, study his vices more than do hlz
virtews.
Jelous people alwus luv themselfs more than
they do those whom they are jelous ov.
Curiosity il the germ of all enterprises
men dig for woodchucks more for curiosity
than they do for woodchucks.
Men don't fail so often in this world from
want ov right motives as they do from lack oV
grip.
There il only two men in this world who
never make emmy blunders, and they are yu
and me, mi friend.
Thare is lots ov folks in this world whom yu
kan bio up like bladder, and then xix them
as high as you pleze
|
cunning man burns hiz fingers everybody
hoilers for JOY
sumtimes distinguish between talent and
genius in this way: A man of talent kan
make a whistell out ov a pigs tale, but it
takes man ov genius to make the tale.
kant tell now whether goose stands on
one leg so mutch to rest the leg az to rest the
goose. wish sum scientific man would tell
me all about this.
had rather be child again than to be the
autokrat of the world.
Thare is newmerous individuals in the land
who look upon what they haint got az the
only things worth having.
One man ov genius to 81 thousand four
hundred and ~ men ov talent z just about
the rite perproshun for aktual Dizziness.
| think that hen who undertakes tew lay
2 eggs a day must necessarily negleckt sum
other branch ov business.
Thare is 'menny slip between cup and a
lip" but not haff az menny az thare ought
tew be.
Rather than not hav faith in emmy thing,
am willing tew be beat times out ov 10.
don't never hav emmy trouble in regulating
mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholk:
straight IL what bothers me.-N. T. Weekly
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
GREEN lLEAVES.

The sweet leaves the fresh leaves Young green leaves
The leaves in the sunshine growing,
While the marten tWitters beneath the caves
And the cOwsp bells blowingl
The dOrmouse awakes from his winter sleep
And the black merle pipes the cherry,
And the lily buds from their green sheath peep
And maidens and men merry.
With the fresh lifeblOod of the newborn spring
The elixir Of love ard pleasure.
When Hope the threshold OF Life takes wing
To search for its golden treasure.
Oh green esves OH fresh eaves OH young,
When lovers in lanes roaming
Ye are dearer to youth than the rch red shsaves
That glow in the August cleaning!
For they tell, with their glorious spikes Of gold,
or hope that has rpened to glory:
But green leaves whisper a hope untold,
And fond youth lists to the story.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
P0et2.Y.
WEAKNESS.

o little feet! that such long years
Must wander on through hopes and fears,
Nuts ache and bleed beneath your load,
l. nearer to the wayside inn
Where toll shall cease and rest begin,
Am weary. thinking Of your road
o little hands that, weak or strong,
Have still to serve or rule SO long,
Have still so long to give or ask;
1. who so much with book and pen
Have tOied among my fellow men,
Am weary, thinking Of your task.
o little heartsl that throb aud beat
With such impatient feverish heat,
Such limitless and strong desires;
Mine. that so long hath glowed and burned
With passions into ashes turned.
Now covers and conceals its fires.
o little souls! as pure and white
And crystalline rs rays of light
Direct from Heaven their source decline;
Refracted through the mist of years,
How red my setting sun appearsi
How lurid looks this soul OF mine
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Long Branch is being gradually swallowed
up by the sea. Ten or fifteen feet more OF the
bluff went last winter. At this rate it will not
take many more seasons to reach the hotels
and villas
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A croquette of Fond du Lac accepted the
matrimonial offers of six simultaneous swains,
and then made them fight for the preference,
in order to show the .neighbors how much she
was fit for
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A sentimental youth swallowed the postage
stamp on letter from "her," because he
thoug ght the dear girl had licked it. 1t made
him deathly sick. The reason was, that her
big brother, who chewed tobacco had put the
stamp on the letter.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

The daughter of well-know merchant was
married in New York few days ago with
great pomp and ceremony, and in honor of the
event her father, through his agent, distribu-
ted $4,000 among the poor.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

"Of two evils choose the least" This ad-
vice generally holds good, but in the case Of
flies and mosquitoes there is some doubt.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Some Western ladies have a croquet club,
known as the White Stockings. OF course
they will display their colOrs during the game.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A woman was lately appointed Professor
of English in female college in Mexico, af-
ter passing a competitive examination, with
six men as rival applicants for the position.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

They won't take American girls as scholars
in German boarding schools on account of the
bad example they set the native scholars by
their extravagance and fondness for dress.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

The w.ball veil, which the ladies are
now wearing, is quite becoming. 1t is OF
black lace, dotted with white.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A man of eighty nine. at Rushford, n Y,
was going to marry girl of fifteen, when his
friends soused bin in the river and brought
about a change of mind.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A New Orleans paper says that young
widow, in that city, who writes WELL sis train
ing herself for on editor" Who is the editor
she is training for?
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
=. Nrs ~ rs THE srMw ~.
LADY'S FRIEND
Washing WI Machine!

II is SAID by many ladies that have them in use
thatthey are very truly named. Any person that has
Used the OOy Machine can use tins one without any
difficulty; the process Of washing is much the same
except hat IL washes much faster II will wash about
double the qnsniiiy OF goods al a time IL will wash
them quicker and cleaner only works hall as ba nd
as the Doty or aHy other machine that takes in as
grelt bulk oil goods at time. The family size have
the capacity Of washing six sheets in three mnutes
have washed. with the Hotel sIze eight sheets and
eight pillow cases in three minutes in public by The
watch all made OF tOleraby heavy goods What
say OF II am prepared TO prove by practical demon
sralOn Whenever required 10 do SO. '.s...
IS believed ny many that clothing washed in this
Machine VIII last about twice us long as If washed
on the washhOSrd.
The PrIre of this Machine is Reduced In snit The
times, from Sl5 TO Sl3 at factory, and freight
added If freighied All orders by mail promptly at.
tehdeu 10 Satisfaction is guaranteed in all cases.
Any person not satisfied after using the Machen 81
months. and giving lalr Iral and have no oIher
reason save that II does work satisfactorily
one can feturn H. and The money will be refunded
CERTIFICATES:
consider the Lady's Friend Washing Machine so
Tar superior 10 the Ooiy that my DOIV Machine is laid
ashe and Is lsr sale at half price Rev. DANIEL SILL.
Certificates from Persons Living in Smyrna, Del.
would not take one hundred dollars for my Lady q
Friend Washing Machine could not gel another one
OF the same kind. I'd HAMILTON
cannot now conceive how should be able to gel
oAO"5 my Lazy frlenO
Mrs. DR. WIN T. COLLINS.
would not partwlth my Lady's Friend hardly al
aay price, could not get anOi er of the same kind
have never seen any other Kind OF a Washing Ma.
chine thai | would have. VIM H. BAGGS
my wife would dispose Of any piece of furniture il
our house sooner than with her Iady's Frlead ash
ing Machine. DAVID T. SMITHERS,
Benro got the Lady g Friend it took four womer
nearly all day to do the washing OF my hotel but nov
boy twelve years old can do the same amount o
wash'ng ny ten or eleven O'clock and we do the IRON
ing the same day. CHAS. +. FOXWELL
sepl86m
For further information apply to
ASA f. WORUEN, Manufacturer,
Agents Wanted Smyrna. Del
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

The mania for old laces again RACES; cold
coffee produces the desirable tint of age quickly
and effectively.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

1t is said that hereafter band of music will
be the correct thing at all our fashionable
weddings.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

We are getting back in fashions further than
ever Ruffs are now worn so large that they
have to be stiiTened with wire.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

: John Peterson, who is to be hanged in
Georgia next month, has fallen heir to $50, 600.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

: Chief Justice Chase wrote a small and al
most feminine hand. L ..'
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Normandy caps of white Swiss over blue or
pink silk are in great favor for breakfast
toilettes. 't......
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

The st. Louis Democrat defines Congress
men into back -psysters" aud pay -backsters. Z"
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Thurlow Weed began life as cabin boy on
the Hudson River.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

A woman six feet four inches high strides
about Burlington, Iowa. ~
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Flowers have succeeded feathers as bonne
trimmings,
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Wilkie Collins is expected in Boston in
August.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Beverage manipulation is the last euphonism
for bartender.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04

Michigan has 81, 900 more men than women.
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
o H H ICIAL.
Laws and Resolutions of the United States Pas
sea at the Third Session of the Forty
Second CORgrDss.
(GENERAL NATURE-No. 3iI

IGENERAL NATURE-No. 3iJ
AN ACT making appropriations
gent expenses of the Indian department. fulfilling
treaty stipulatsns with various Indian tribes
ending june urteth eighteen hundred
and tor other
Smyrna times., 1873-06-04
RTIFICATES :

consider the Lady's Friend Washing Machine SO
tar superior TO the Doty that my DOv Machine is laid
ase and is fsr safe at half priCe REV. DANIEL Sill
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
Gold at l p. m. ll6%

There 10 terrific campaign going on 10
Illinois by the farmers against the railroad
companies, growing out Of the high price
OF frsighh upon produce. Agricultural
meetings were held oil over The State, and
the dull portion Of the winter has been de-
voted, mainly, to resolueions and resolves
and threats. The main feature OF these
meatlngs'has been q resolution eAlliog upon
the members of the Legislature to retura
their passes to tho companies from which
Issued. But 1t seems the Legislators do not
comply with this request. The farmers are
wasting their strength on the mint auice,
and cummin feature Of the evil aud over
looking the weightier matters. The free
passes issued are but and incident; they are
not the causs, aud If honest men were seut
TO the Legislature the free rides would not
ind fence their votes. The railway conf
pauies do ss the farmers do-get the most
they can for their services, and we imagine
the farmers would howl terribly we're rail-,
way facilities 10 be taken from them.
There 10 no doubt the railway managers
abuse their privileges, bat we fancy these
aalns farmers wonld find q way to violate a
butter contract al twenty cents pound did
the general market price touch twenty. five
cents.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

Brother Priuce, on Sunday last, st one Of
onr churches, preached about "faith hope
snd:ctarity." He done the hope and char
ity busioass very we'll, bnt faith, It see med
to rs. waa too hefty for one OF bis natural
cspscity-his spinal column sho wed evlden
sisus oil weakening under the burden be was
attempting 10 carry-he ignored the fact
that faith was the resnlt of education aud
early training Of the mind, and that.
Faith, far attic faith, once weddedl'sst
To. some dear faIsehood, hugs It to the last. ;,
as witness 10 q thousand instances. We
confess that we don't know anything abou,
faith. andwe are sorry to confess that Broth
er Prince didn't learn NJ anything new ON
that subject. We believe iu the common
,accsp,ion Of tho beresfter, but we positivp/
ly do not know enything about 1t.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
TAKE NOTICE.

propose to sell my stock of
Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, fam
cy articles Cigars, Tobace o,
&c, at cost, as it is my intention
to leave town on or about the
first day of April. All parties
knowing themselves indebted
to me are requested to call and
settle at once and save costs.
j. WOLF.
Petroleum Centre, March "a, 1878.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

The little child, whose parents Mr.. and
Mrs. Dslrympls, were instantly. killed in
duaiin explosian at Tidioute, some time
since, is getting we'll. contrary to expect~
tions. At the time of the accident, the
child received ser ious cu's on iis head and
body. The wounds will neither main or
d,sfzurs it,snd the child will probably not
be incouveninced by them in the least.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
Lesson from the scaffold..

A writer 10 the Albany Journal stamped
iu the moral Of Fosters crime aud punish
ment 10 the following burning words:
Foster thought be WAS merely putting
little innocent liquid "stick" 10 the glass
se. out for bin 10 the .'ssmple room" at
which be tarried before taking the car on
which Putnam wss riding. But the enemy
that be put in bis mouth stole away bis
brains, and then handing him carhook
showed him bis victim. Sample rooms in-
deed, and Cod help us such samples! How
1 wi.h that all the proprietors OF sample
rooms in NewYork city should havel look
ed on Foster ss he hung on the gallowa tree
while the Sheriff made official proc lamation
10 ,heu-this is one Of yonr samples,-his
blood bs upon your head. Think yon that
the men who sod F,ster the liquor that
craz ID him on the night he murdered Put
nam. shali stand with stainless hoAds at
the last assize? You may call this kind ol
storm overstsined, you may tell ma that
| [ am incorporate IN my temperance. but
tell ynn from bleeding. broken hearts, all
over the earib-bleeding and broken be-
cause Of Sample Rooms and kindred an'
rooms of hell. goes up to Heaven. dav and
night, the agonizing prayer, 40 Lord, how
long, how long?"
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

Time Was " ben the perper traitors Of crime
could enjoy temporary immunity from pnnI
isbment BY taking refuge under foreign
Government, and when on the deck of q fas
sailing steamsr with the land hull dowa at
torn he could breathe with freedom. Now
all that is changed. Go. where he will, and
take what route hs may by land or water,
the telegraphic notices flash past him aud
he is liable to dismount from the isilws ,
train or TO step from ship.bo.rd only tu
pass into the hands OF awaiting policemen,
whilst. extradition treaties provide for bis
speedy rrtura. The more knowing rorne.
now lie still and II the crime is n financ, al
QUE negotiate with the victims for parli
return OF the plunder. II It Ia . murder they
do better yet, boldly stand u trlal, plead
insanity, and 90 scot free.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
Plunef Items.


Cherry Ran 10 free of ice. =
Duke Street 10 to have . new sidewalk.
No clue to the Mcclure store robbers.
Ex-Com missioner Sage is at present tak-
log Q trip through Sulpherdom-Butler
county.
Territory adjoining Plumor 10 to be tested
- coon as spring opens.
Black, Sage & Co., are running opposition
10 Elder Kahl 10 the junk business. This
10 branch Of industry long needed BY the
cit zens Of this Rip Van Winkle village.
Mr.. VIM. Smith will reopen bis boot and
shoe store a. soon as bis new stock arrives
from eastern markets.
"Judgs" Graham Is meeting with great
success In selling "Great Fires" The
Judge 10 TOO we'll known to receive any ecom-
iums our prolific pen could produce.
The Rev. Graham 10 still exhorting st
Pithole City, aud the success which has
heretofore attended bis meetings has 10 no
wise abated. No less than 27 colored
'.breddsru" have been moved by his extra/
ordinary efforts. This speaks well for Pit
hole aud the "colored folks."
A rustic youth of some l8 rummers .bav-
Ing occasion 10 visit Titusviile, proceeded
to your place yesterday morning. Before
starting be had drawn from his financial re/
sources the SUN OF els, W hich amount be
resolved to devote to seeing the elephant
He seen hip and came ont minus bis SIS,
plus sweiled head such are the moral
lessons daily taught to the inexperienced
youth Of Plumer. Read and profit there
by.
The Credit Mobilier is not pstchen to
the speculations Of the Pumer Klu Klnx
Klan, ss is fully exemplifed In the follow
log: Mr.. Robert Black bad his pocket
relieved Of q small sum Of money while re-
turning from the writing school last even-
ing. The whole transaction IL wrspt up
IN mystery. A Vigilence Committee 10
embryo will be the next eensstion.
The "Town Scoundrels" hold meetings
regularly with view Of getting the ex'
preston Of the cltizens upon the condition
of the side walk on Main street. They ad/
ljonrned t'sins die" without action.
On last Friday your reporter visited the
Humboldt School which is siinated in tho
2nd ward, or southern portion Of our town.
We were received 10 more courteous MANI
nsr than was our friend G., at the High
School here few weeks ago. The teacher
10 . cortsous and accomplished lady, and 10
In every way competent of filling the posL
tion she holds. The unprecedented progress
Of her is Sufficient evidence OF her good
management. The school is composed OF
about 45 schollars, mostly from Ito IL
years old.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

There was a pleasant social party at the
Central House, last evening. Upwards OF
twenty couple were present. aud the daue-
Ing was kept up 10 late hour. Nine host
Davis furpished the supper which was geI
ten up 10 excellent style and elioitsd great
'prsiss from all who psrsook Of It, We
might add that Mr.. Davis never does cny/
thing. by halves.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

Mr.. William Croy, the celebrated Ger
msu orator, delivered q lecture st the school
house, on Mouday night, entitled "Gotlieb
Klsbcyergoss Oh the War;" The effort was
q brilliant zone. Our reporter gives the
following as . specimen: "Quosqus sbsture
Ignaeius patlanta nostrs celeba dc 10 catu-
ru"
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

The new we'll on the Pierce farm bids fair
10 be good for hundred tAarrels pei day.
TIE up Greek territory bids fair 10 the loog
ruo to clean out the down river territory.
Shallow Territory and SO feet Of sand rock
10 bound to win In the long run.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
NOTEs OF THE DAY.

The Coveroor vetoed the Somerset relief
bill.
Physicians have at last pronounced Train
crazy.
The Welsh are to have On incorporated
pewspsper company 10 Pittsburgh.
In 1870 there we're 4ls commercial fall
ures 10 Psnnsylvauia.
willismsport is to have the largest match
factory 10 the world.
Sixteen hundred assessors will 60 out of
Office on the Goth Of May.
Vanderbilt 10 beginning to weaken. He
is making donations for benevolent purpos-
es.
DR.. Chspio, like Mr.. Berchsr, writes
constantly for the weekly press; both are
editors.
The number OF workmen employed 10 the
factories Of the United States in 1870 was
2,O5s,s ,ss6.
The commercial failures In the United
States lsst year amounted to $l24,O53,0OO;
10 1871 to $s5, ,252, 900.
JeHfsrsoo will play 10 Bufa lolsome time
next month.
Farrou and Baker, 'dislect and charscI
ter artists" ere 10 Buffalo.
The little birds Bre clearing their tarostt
for some tall spring singing.
Strange, wbsu money 10 so "hard," thai
hard money should be 90 scarce.
Pleasantville voted against local option
by . majority oi twenty-nine.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

Z A the severity O! winter mod-rates the
death rate Of New York city begins to move
upward. Last week the mortality was
equal TO an annual rate Of tweuty/nins per
one thousand, being q good deal higher than
the latest ascertsinsd average OF the capi.
ts.s Of Western Europe.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

There WAS wedding at Justice Reynolt' g
lice, yesterday. An sged stranger from
MaitinsbuTG euccunnbed to the bandisb-
m"nis of a maiden lady residing oa the
Boyd Farm, and matrIpouy was .he result,
which said result appeared to. satisfy both
parties judging from the many ''smiles they
sm''e' 81 m. snoiber while the ceremony
was going On.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

A circuit preacher was reviled 10 SomerI
sst. Ohio, when lhe said be bad travelled
100000 miles to lead his hearers to right
eonsn'ss. But he was spplaudedia iaud treat/
ed with the greatest respect when he warm
edup and said be ''coald lick bis weight
in wild oats"
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

The local option law must be enforced, -
From andi after thisi date and up to the
day the local option law goes into rfftot,
will sell allkiuds aud brands OF winr., and
liqnor al retail at wholesale prices, as my
ock must be closed out. Now 10 the time
10 purchase little vial for home use.
OWEN GAFFNEY
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

The Grfin (Gsorgia) Register Gays Of
the death Of Mr.. Grafton, Of that place =.
"Hs was fiue msu 10 all respects; be- was
owing Us seven dollars on that last game oil
seven up, hut we will throw thasin towards
bis hesdstoue,"
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

The we'll known explosive material, "ni.
o>glycerlns" is made by mixing nitric acid
with twice Ito weight Of sulphu.ic acid, and
when the mixture is cool, 10 parts Of glycei
ring to $50 Of the acid are added very care/
fully aid stirred ;whrn 10 para Of water are
added to this, s,nitro-gIycerine is deposited
II needs to be wsshed::with bicarbonatr Of
soda to remove oil traces Of acid. This pro
cess 10 simple. but only experienced chemists
should attempt 10 manufacture this highly
explosive articles.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

A Rhode Island man has inveu.ed tori
pedo 10 the shape Of q ker nal Of corn, W hlch
is dcsignsd fer the offensive kind takes bo d
ofit, 1t explodes ard blows the top Of hi,
head off.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27
NOTICE.

We expect al parties indeb.
ted to this firm to settle their
bills before the 1st Of May next
and avoid nnpleasantness, as we
iutend to close out and leave
This town.
SOBEL d AUERfIAIM
Dated, Petroleum Centre, Pa, March goth
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

John Vsno Dshm, of Fort Wayne. was
pisyi 6 with a pistol in his honss the Other
day, when 1t went off and made an eyelet
hole 10 his hip. II bis name was Jones he
might be called Jones fool II bis name was
Smith be might b. called Smith fool; but
unbappiiy his I. another name.
The Petroleum Centre daily record. [volume] (Petroleum Center, Pa.) 1868-1873, 1873-03-27

Ida Lewis ard her husband don't live
happily together She is a ooquslte, aud
he is Jealous and cross. Such is the fate of
most heroi es.