Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1873-03-06
Wit. Hum0r and Wisdom.

How toprevent tits-Buy ready.made
boots.
AaAME of pitch aud toss-A life on
the ocean wave.
WHY is n drunken man much
stronger than sober one! Because
he's Titan.
IT don't take as much sense to pick
a lock or forge check as it does not to
do it.
A MAN that don't know emmy thing
will tell it the first time he gets a
chance.
The gardener who grated a chestnut
to box-tree found it only produced
large trunks.
MAN must cling to the faith that the
inconceivable is conceivable, else he
will not seek.
MELANCHOLY suicide--A little boy, on
being threatened with a whipping, hung
his head.
A MINNESOTA dairy produced 81, 437
pounds of cheese last season with
/ out putting itself out of its whey.
! THE dearest object to a married man
! should be his wife but it is not infre-
quently her clothes.
A PERSON invited to Il golden wedding
sent this reply: ~ am sorry | cannot
/ come this time, but will the next"
! CoNpUcroRs who neglect to use their
punches do not do their hole duty
/ even if they collect all their fares,
| A WAITER in an icc-cream saloon
wanted more pay of the tiresome nature
of his services
PHInosopHy Of the future: Moralist
Who knows what tomorrow Will
bring forth Postivist-Vhe day after.
RAILROADS. have now three gauges
broad gauge, a narrow gauge, and
mort gage.
OUGHT you to reckon dogs worth
by what he will fetch, or by what he
will bring
The man who was hungry, and tolu
to bolt his door, said he would much
rather bar it.
THERE nre between fifty and sixty
| thousand foreigners in Africa hunting
for gold and precious stones.
THE new national flag OF China is
said to resemble an old bed-quilt with
| Holsters running around the edge.
WHY is it not good to beat children
hard and ofteni Because you may
beat oft and harden.
| A WESTERN editor says of a neighbor
with qulvering eyelid, that he "stut-
tiers in the left eye! "
A HINT. Those young ladies who
] Il Ih,i Il ~ ,iv nj
Young men to make up their minds.
THE superAuous blossoms on fruit
! tree are meant TO symbolic the large
way IN which God loves to do pleasant
! things.
AN old lady describes a genius as
"a man what knows morn he can find
out, and spills Vittals on his clothes"
Tr will keep children from many
snare and temptation to sin il they can
surely feel that their parents are their
/ best companions and friends.
AN unsuccessful attempt is said to
! be on foot in Maryland to produce II
"corner on oysters In fish, now,
there might be chance for an angle.
WHAT is the difference between u
!
has sail up, and the other puts his ale
down.
A BATHROOM orator, expatiating upon
political opponent, said that he was
mean enough to steal ashes from his
neighbours garbage box to sprinkle his
own door-steps with,
MAMMA, a broollet means little
! brook, doesn't iti and IN eaglet little
eagle ~ eyes my darling "Then,
ma, does an eyelet mean 0 little eye,
and u hamlet a little ham p
In Montgomery, Ala, the other day,
''four Young men did get upon a spree;
one took out his little iack-knife, and
now there amt but three" says
spnghtly reporter.
4 FLOATING hotel is said to be build
ing on the Allegheny. The first order
of the Captain Of the craft will be,
! ''Prepare to receive boarders."
If anger arise IN thy breast, instant.
! " seal up thy lips, and let it not go
/ forth for, like fire, when it wants vent,
/ it will suppress itself.
Two YOUNG men Of Dover, n. H.,
went ceiling last week and caught, in
one day, 700 pounds Of " Snakes"
which readily commanded twelve cents
per pound.
A WORTHY gentleman i'll Danbury
PLAYED euchre at ne ighbor's house
until an hour after midnight, and beat
every game, but got skunked going
home
PLAN things may be cheap and hum
bic as one chooses, or ones purse com
pels, but anything like luxury must al
ways be good. Cheap necessaries are
very respectable. Cheap fnery is low.
A LAWYER wanted case decided in