davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
Humorous.

A PRETTY hard case-A coffin.
THE Indian question" White man
got any rum ?"
New way to pay old debts Settle
them promptly and in full.
WHEN is a fowls neck like bell
When it is wrung for dinner.
FoR what port is man bound during
courtship? Bound to Hayre.
WHY is meat not done like good
conundrum? Because it is rare.
WHEN is a captain in his heaviest
attire? When he wears his ship.
WE all should remember that seedy
coat often covers heart in full bloom.
E. HANNAFoRD G. Co., subscription
book publishers, have matured plan OF sell
ing books that enables their agents to coin
money. See advertisement.
WHY is the warrant for q suspected
persons arrest like a very old coat
Because it's (s) worn out.
AN English lady has written book
to show how lady may live on $76
year. It didn't cost Eve anything like
that.
THE " coming man is delayed, not
being able to get through, because he is
dead-head and the pass system is abol-
ished.
A LADY from benighted region,
hearing for the first time that matches
were made in heaven, said she was
ready to go.
A WESTERN editor insists that he
wrote the word trousseau" plain as a
pikestaff in connection with certain
bridal presents. The printer, however,
vulgarly put it &c trowsers.
The ladies of the harem of the King
of Siam have put off the Siamese cos
tune and donned the European harem-
scarem costume, consisting of chlgnons,
high-heeled CATERS and back files OF
newspapers.
The following pathetic lines are sup
posed to have emanated from the obitu-
ary genius of the Philadelphia Ledger !:
The death-angel smote Alexander McGlue,
And gave him protracted repose;
He wore a checked shirt and a Number Nine Snoe,
| And he had pink wart on his nose.
No doubt he is happier dwelling in space
| Over there on the evergreen shore;
His friends informed that his funeral takes
Precisely at quarter past fourp
A FOND mother in Norwich, Conn,
gave her fve-year-old hopeful an outfit
of fish tackle. Soon she heard shout
from Willie, and, running out, found
one of her best hens fast winding up
the line in her crop, whittier the hook
had already preceded it. Willie, OBJ
serving the troubled look of his mother,
quietly remarked: Don't worry,
mother, guess she will stop when she
gets to the pole.
"I say, old fellow, what are your
politics? said witty Aberdeen man,
quizzing another artisan. I" Conserva-
tive-my father was conservative, he
replied. "And what is your religion p
continued the other. Protestant
my father was Protestant" was the
answer. Z" And why are you bache-
lor ?'' said the other. because my
father was a-oh confound it don't
bother me with your stupid questions. .
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
A Novel Lottery.

The directors of the Dublin Qreland)
Tramway Company have become sus-
picious of their conductors, and have
been trying to circumvent them. At
first each conductor was given a strip of
tickets, and he was to give one ticket to
each passenger, who was then to tear it
up. The conductors receipts were to
correspond with his ticket strips. But
people hated the company worse than
the conductor, and would not tear up
the tickets the conductor would use
them over again, and thus his income
was kept up. But now the remedy is
reached. Every ticket is numbered,
but the number is printed on it and at
the end of each month the company has
grand lottery with three hundred
prizes, ranging from ten pounds to one
one shilling. Each ticket has a chance
in the drawing. Nobody throws away
his ticket now; every passenger is too
busy looking after his own interests.
Persons of nobility travel i'scog'atto in
the cars for the sake of chance in the
| lottery and the affairs of the company
are unprecedentedly prosperous. The
! plan is soon to be initiated in England.
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
A True Story.

Mr.. Joaquin Miller must have had
some queer experiences in his short life,
if his own record of them is to be be-
ieved. We have already seen him
"with Walker in Nicaragua" he is said
to be writing an autobiography, in
which he tells of his residence and ad-
ventures with the Modocs, and here is
the substance of Z" true story" of from
tier life, which he relates to the readers
of the last Independent. The scene of
the story is laid in Shasta county, Cali
fornia, few years ago, and the
drGn1Gtis 1oerso,aoe are little company
of miners, of whom six were suddenly
Frustrated with the scurvy. They were
very likely to die, for the camp was a
lonely one, far away from all such food,
medicine, and conyeniences, as the sick
require. One of the miners, however,
had heard of remedy which he had
proved while he was sailor, and which
was not beyond reach, and to make
trial of this was at once resolved upon.
| Six deep pits were speedily dug in the
warm soil in the shadow of huge pine;
in these the patients, stripped to the
skin, were placed, and then the fresh
earth was carefully shoveled back, SO
that each man was securely buried up
to his chin. In this position they were
| to stay all night. Now, the sleep OF the
miner, when his days toll is over, is
uot SO much sleep as stupor," and,
soon after the last of the buried mer
had dozed of, their friends also sought
their beds and fell into slumber, from
which none woke till dawn. At thai
hour they went to visit their buried
comrades, and, to their horror, found
that the wolves had come down during
the night and eaten off every one of tn,
heads level with the ground
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
Strange HaIlucinatiOn.

The Davenport Gowa) Gazette vouches
for the absolute truth of the following,
though from obvious reasons all names
are suppressed One of the leading citi-
zens of North Davenport had an only
daughter who was betrcthed to young
man of fair promise, clerk in a leading
commercial house at Dubuque.
His visits to that city were regular,
and arrangements had been made for
an immediate union, when the bride
elect was stricken down by typhoid
care could do, died. The Gazette re-
porter says eve saw her in her coffin,
dressed for the bridal of death, not for
the consummation of all earthly love.
We witnessed the agony of her lover as
he bent in speechless, fearless abstrac-
ton over the satin-lined burial case"
After the melancholy journey to Oak
dale the young man returned to Du-
buque. Nervous fever set in, and a
peculiar hallucination seized him that
his lost one was present in the room,
draped in the garb which had enveloped
her clay. ALI remonstrance was in vain.
He minutely described her dress, her
appearance, and her position in his
chamber; even when his parents or
friends would sit or stand where he de-
clared her to be, he saw her glide away
and take another place. This went on
for weeks, and the patient was gradually
sinking under the physical and nervous
excitement, when friendly ruse was
tried to cure him of his ecstacy.
Coming to Davenport, his mother
found that the funeral garments were
purchased at the store of G. & M. and
made by Mrs. B. She procured the ma
terial, had it made up in fac sinaile,
and returning, young lady as near in
height and appearance as could be
found, was dressed to resemble his de-
ceased love, and during one of his
fevered and brief slumbers was intro
duced into the room, taking her seat in
a shaded corner.
His awakening was anxiously watched,
and sanguine hopes of removing his
hallucination were INDUCED in. He
woke at length, and, turning his eyes in
the direction of the pious fraud, stared
with fixed eyeballs for few seconds.
then raising himself almost upright in
his bed, flung his arms aloft, and shrek
ing in an unearthly voice " My God,
there are taOo of them !' fell back and
| expired
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14

OTTAR OF RosEs.-From a recent
paper on the "Ottar of Roses, we learn
that this rare and fragrant oil is obtained
mainly from the southern slopes of Bal
kan, Turkey, where there are over one
hundred and fifty stations where the in
gathering of the blossoms and the
manufacturing of rose-on take place.
The quantity of oil produced in the
South of France is unimportant COM
pared to the Turkish product. The
rose-trees are planted in rows, as the
vines in a vineyard, at time twos being
grown together. The roses are gathered
in bloom during the month of May, and,
while fresh, are subjected to distilla-
ton, together with their green calix-
! leaves.
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
VOL. mo. 43.
THE LAW oFtDEATH.
BY JOHN HAY.

The song of Kilvany Fairest she
In all the land of Savatthi.
She had one child, sweet and gay
And dear to her as the light of day.
She was SO young, and he SO fair,
The same bright eyes and the same dark hair,
To see them by the blossomy way
They seemed two children at their play.
There came death-dart from the sky
Kilvany saw her darling die.
The glimmering shade his eyes invades;
Out Of his cheek the red bloom fades;
His warm heart feels the icy chill,
The round limbs shudder and are still.
And yet Kilvany held him fast
Long after hfe's last pulse was past
As if her kisses could restore
The emile gone out for evermore.
But when she saw her child was dead
She scattered ashes on her head,
And se1sd the % sa pal pale ana
She sobbing fell at Buddha's feet.
'sMaster all-helpful help me nowI
Here at thy feet humbly bow;
Have mercy, Buddha help me nowr"
She groveled on the marble floor,
And kissed the dead child DER al DER.
And suddenly upon the air
There fell the answer to her prayer,
Bring me tonight Lotus tied
With thread from a house where none has died.
She rose, and laughed with thankful joy,
Sure that the god would save the boy.
She found Lotus by the stream;
She plucked it from its MONDAY dream,
And then from door to door she Jared,
To ask what house by death was spared
Her heart grew cold to see the eyes
OF all dilate with slow surprise:
"Kilyany, thou hast lost thy head;
Nothing can help child that's dead.
There stands not by the Ganges' side
A house where none hath ever died."
Thus through the long and weary day
From every door she bore sway
Within her heart, and on her arm,
A heavier load, deeper harm.
By gates of gold and ivory,
BY wattled huts of poverty,
The same refrain, heard poor Kilvany,
The hUing are fep-the dead are many.
The evening came, still and fleet,
And overlook her hurrying feet,
And, heart-sick, by the sacred fame
She fell, and prayed the god again.
She sobbed and beat her bursting breast:
" All thou hast Knocked me Mightiest!
Lo have wandered far and wide
There stands no house where none hath died."
And Buddha answered, in a tone
Soft a flute at twilight blown,
But grand as heaven and strong as death
To him who hears with of faith:
"Child, thou art answered. Murmur not!
Bow, and accept the common lot"
Kilvany heard with reverence meet,
Aud laid her child at Buddha's feet.
-ScribneT's for August.
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14

The robust managing editor of the
Pittsburgh Dispatch tolls with the fan
mel conundrum. A year ago he bought
a full suit of white flannel. After
the first washing his son, who
weighs 1O2 pounds less than the father,
found the suit just fitted him. Two
more washings made them just the size
of his fve-year old, and at the end OF
the season there was not enough of
them for a good-sized dishcloth. Where
has all that flannel gone to? He says
he would willingly take his whole family
and his mother-in-law to alecture which
would explain it, and pay double price.
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
The Garden-HOse.

Yesterday, Park street man thought
he would use his garden-hose. In fact,
this is a thought which strikes him reg
ularly three times day, and his neigh
bors reckon he has lowered the Leices-
ter reservoir elven inches himself since
April 1. So he got his hose and screwed
it together, and put piece of paper
around the pipe to keep it from leaking,
and Bridget turned on the water for him,
and as he squirted away calmly at post
on the opposite side of the street, a graf
features, like the glow of a pumpkin pie
just out of the oven. And he didn't
wet himself much, either,-only one
boot and his false wristbands. By-and-
by his wife called him in to supper, and
he left his hose squirting on the lawn, SO
as not to lose any time, and went right in.
His four-year-old son stayed behind and
took up the hose and began to play at
that post across the street, and squirted
the water all over Deacon Burchell, who
happened to be going by on the nearest
sidewalk Then the Deacon set up a
yell like nitro-glycerine explosion, and
the father came out of his house and
went for that boy, and the four -year-old
calmly turned the hose full upon the
author of his being, and that man almost
Immediately became wetter than the
author of anybody's being has been
since the days of Noah. The water
struck his clean shirt-bosom,. and mean
dered silently but speedily down his
boot-legs, and the pockets of his new
summer suit filed up, and the halr-ol
all came out of his head and ran dowr
the back of his neck, and the only thing
about him that was not cool was the
| words that came out of his mouth. He
is now dry, but that four-year-old re
ceived lesson in logic last evening
with illustrations in the argument q pos
| teriori, which he will remember until h'
has reached the age of forty-four.-
| DdubIrU Ne1US
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14

AT social meeting in Boston, Gen.
F. A. Walker read paper on the pros
pective population of the United States,
in which he contended that, instead OF
reaching 1OO, ,355, 1856 in the year 1900,
as calculated by Elkanah Watson, OF
1OO, ,337 ,4OS, as calculated by DeBow, OF
1O7, 900. 600, as calculated by Commits
sioner Wilson, it will only be some
where between 1000, 900 and "a, ,0OO,-
600, most probably 73,O00,0o to 76.'
100000
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14

A GENTLEMAN was chiding his son for
staying out late at night, and said :
"Why, when was your age, my father
would not allow me to go out of the
house after dark 60 Then you had q
deuce of father, you had," said the
young profigate, whereupon the father
very rashly vociferated &c had a con-
founded sight better one than you have,
you young rascal"
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14

"WHAr AM I?"-At a meeting of
woman suffragists in Cincinnati, Mrs.
Talbert, somewhat colored woman,
was introduced, and in the course of
her remarks she stated that her father
was Dutch Indian and her mother Irish
negro, and then asked "What am I?''
The audience incontinently "gave it
up" when she informed them that she
was not a negress she was neither
white nor black, but simply woman of
color. They assented.
Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-08-14
WHOLE NUMBER 329.
EARTH,s ANGELS.
I never saw an angel,

I never saw an angel,
Except the ones in books;
/ don't believe a mortal
Knows how an angel looks.
We guess at something misty,
With trailing wings of white,
With amber tresses floating,
And garments strangely white.
But 1 believe earth's angels
Walk here in mortal guise,
Though we discern but family
Through heavy-lidded eyes,
Or see them as they leave us,
Who walked beside us here,
Their angelhood quite hidden
Because it lived 80 near.
1 can remember angels
Who seemed like common folks,
Who wore old-fashioned bonnets,
And faded winter cloaks:
Who came when dire disaster
Crowned lesser home mishap,
Or younger claimants crowded
The dear maternal lap.
With curving arms wide open
To take the weary in,
With patient love to listen
To childish want or sin.
What better thing could angels
For childish sinners do,
Than listen to their story,
And bid them promise new?
I think of fireside angels,
Upon whose faded hair
There shone no crown of glory,
And yet the crown was there;
When tender love, true-hearted,
Forgave the wrongs 1t knew,
And patient voice gave answer
The days of trial through.
All, me the childish angel
Who beckons as writei
Perchance should not know him
In mystic robe of white.
He wears a schoolboy's jacket,
And cap, and boots, to me,
As when we walked at twilight,
His head against my knee.
There are dear mother angels
We each perchance know one
Whose robes of better glory
Are daily being spun-
With loving hands to guide us,
With loving speech to cheer,
Said not well, earth angels
Walk daily with us here?
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25
MISCELLANEOUS.
Market Farm for Sale
ALLEGHANY COUNTY, MD,

TINE FOLLOWING STATEMENT II
| strictly in accordance with the facts, and
is no overdrawn picture OF what can be
done:
There are fty acres Tor more can be haa
ofrich alluvial bottom lands, not liable 10
overflow, in the form Of an oblong square
level, and at this time in fine condition
situated between thePotomac river and ths
Baltimore and Ohio railroad, with a depot
or switch connected with the property, and
is about half way between Cumberland and
the denSely populated coal and iron region
OF Georges Creek Valley, where vegetables
or, in o her words. the products OF a truck
farm can be sold in any quantity and a,
prices far exceeding the rates In Eastern
cities.
The health OF this place and vicinity T.
excellent and ague and fever unknown fnr
the past twenty years
There are also about seventy-five acres q.
strong limestone upland situated on the
Opposite side OF the Baltimore aud O6io
railroad nom the bottom land
The quality OF this land and its proximity
10 certainly the most active and best mar.
kets in the world, would make one under.
standing truck farming 10 realize a fortune
in few years.
This region ofcountry is rapidly film,
M, and thus far the market cannot be sun
piled without sending OF for vegetable,
nom other places
II my one u' Su lEs W ihdAe ~ pTONtahlr
investment in such property will visit TN.
TlaCe and ind thar all we claim for u a,
well as what IS represented about our msI
sets, sc, has not been correctly stated, nfs
expenses will be paid We therefore com.
IDENTIFY invite persons 10 come and look anu
inve i!gate the matter for themselves.
There is a lime kiln on or near the prom.
erty, which the party buying can u.s.
without rent, and thus make his lime 81
simply The expense OF coal and burning.
Addr, s.: Il. II. IOH NSUN,
febS-tGd Cumberland Mo.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25
o,.,, o,,oR-UstrY.-Don't for.

The GREAT OPPoRTUstTY.-Dont Tor
get to attend the Pfaffeuback auction
corner Of Main and old Third Streets
Centre Wheeling. to-day, The very
choicest cloths and large assortment
Of them, of every variety. The greatest
part is still uneold. Such another
chance will not soon occur again.
Those in the trade can lay IN q cheap
stock and no freight to pay. Paren's
buv material for a really cheap aud
really good suits for your boys. Young
men, now the time for something styl-
isb at half price, no, better STILL at
your own prices. Considerable custom
made clothing will be offered, but no
slop shop, ready made stuff. What is
saved by being there will pay business
men and all others for the time they
spend at this sale, commencing at 10
o'clock A. NJ.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

For some time past we announced
through our columns the absolute c,oss
ing out OF summer Dry Goods and
Ready-made suits at the Dry Goods
House OF |. Blum & Bro. But few OF
the goods included in this sale remain
to be sold. Most of our readers are
aware that Messrs. |. Blum & Bro. have
been manufacturing suits and UNDER
wear on very extensive scale, and
have produced novelties in styles which
were much admired and highly spoken
OF by al who visited their sales room.
Our ladies have already learned the
fact, that TO procure dress q Ia
mode" they need only 90 TO BUNS
The proprietors have informed US that
they are low busy manufacturing their
fall stock, and will exhibit at the open
ing Of the season a variety Of tyles
never before produced in this region.
We shall apprise our readers Of their
opening in due time.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

QUEER.-If what we hear is true, the
National Camp Meeting Association
have acted very queerly. While they
arranged that no special trains should
be run from Wheeling yesterday, they
were much more gracious to our friends
living along the line of the Central
Ohio road. They had the satisfaction
OF having two trains running over the
Central Ohio for their benefit yesterday.
The Association seems determined to
prevent Wheeling from getting any
good from the camp meeting, if they can
prevent il.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

FUNERAL OF JAMES MONTGOMERY
Eureka Lodge OF Odd Fellows, the Ci-
gar Makers Union, and a large con-
course OF friends and relatives on yes
terday, followed the remains ofthe late
James S. Montgomery, Of the Eighth
Ward to their last resting place. He
was q most amiable Young man, and
hia loss will be deeply felt by large
circle of acquaintance.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

FALSE ALAEN About twelve o'clock
Saturday night some one started an
alarm OF fire. The bells on the differ
ent engine houses took it up vigorously
and pounded away at q jolly rate, strIk-
ing by turns every ward in the city
Soon the streets were filled with people
all anxious to find the location Of the
fire. But they couldn't. There WAS
none. 1t Was false alarm don't you
see. If we had a fire alarm telegraph
many a barrel Of Precipitation would
have been saved TO our fremen aud
other c2citable citizens
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

FruIr1yE FROM JUsrIos.-On Satur>
day morning officer Bob Junkins ar
rested a man named Christ Waller,
who is a fugitive from Justice, from
Belmont county, Ohio, where he is
charged with having stolen horse be-
longing to John welty, in the early
part OF this summer. Waller was
taken before Squire Gil!espy who com
mit,ed him 10 jail in default OF q, 900
for o further hearing,
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

Poles CoURT.-There was no case
on the police court docket for Saturday
morning. We heard that John Shan
lev, fined for assaultinC q colored broth
er bad applied Tor rehearing OF his
Gaze. Fit is not granted an appeal will
be taxed to tie Circuit Court.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

-
~ States, for the District OF West Virginia,
IN BANKRUPTCY.
In the matter OF George W. Alexander,
Bankrupt.
D1sTBICr OF WEST VIRGINIA, IS:
A warrant in Bankruptcy has been issued
by said Court against the estate OF SEQ W.
Alexander, Of the County OF Wood, State Of
West Virginia, in said District. who has
been duly adiudged Bankrupt upon petit
ton OF his creditors, and the payments Of
any debts, and the delivery Of any property
belonging 10 said Bankrupt, 70 him or TO
his use, and the transfer OF any property by
him, are prohibited by law. A meeting OF
the creditors OF SAID Bankrupt, TO prove
their debts and choose one or more
Asetsnees OF his estate will be held at a
Court OF Bankruptcy, TO be holden at Park
ersourg, in said District, On the 5th day OF
Septem Der, A. D., 1873, at 2o'clock p. ". at
the ONCE OF Walter g. Sands, Esq, before
Georse Caldwell, ESQ, one o. the Regis
ters In Bankruptcy OF said District.
signed. HEDGEMAN SLACK,
aug2!-ra o. 8. Marshal OF said District
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

HAVING received full and choice
inc OF Cassineres and goods Of al des-
criptious for spring and summer wear,
would be glad to have tha,e who are
IN need OF goods in my line to call and
examine my stock which is unsurpass-
cd in the,ci.y, before purchasing
JOHN L. RICE,
No 50, Monroe s.rsst,
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1873-08-25

THERE is a general misapprehension
in regard to Distributing medals or
prizes at the Vienna Exposition. There
was 70 special prizes awarded to sewing
machines. We make this statement
from the most reliable authority.