Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1873-07-03

Humorous.

blind! 'ts ls -. '''' -
WHAr is stronger than a council OF!
ten? A potent-eight. scg oil! = -
IF you want to know whether a tree,
is hollow or not, ak it.
WHY is mid. ocean like Broadway? !?
Because there you'll see 1.-the big
+" swells. . ysE5 .5,ilIg .tal Zs451
An. EDITORS pistol having been, stolen,
he advertises that If the thief will re-
no questions ,asked.;' ,5f.tssts,f u -
A MINNESOTA man was lately fined $40
for abbreviating the caudal appendage
fof aneigllbor's pig -and nov the ques-1
tion comes : If an inch of "pig tail, lsy 8
worth $40, how much would it cost to
"go the whole hog" a9D85!ii 81 aid /
The first verse of, the pffice-seeker's
song now is said to be as follows: :, >
1'"OIlo long to be Granger,
And with the Changers stand, 81. 81 :
h bunch of clover in my arms,
And q pitchfoFlf in my hand. :"
The local editor of one of our ex-
changes has a bursting paragraph.s
as follows Delinquent subscribers
should not permit their daughters to
wear this paper for a hustle There she7g
ing 80 much due on it, there Is danger
of taking cold! 1sst sfas
/ A. MAN in Cincinnati owned a pet
panther. Last week he went off with
with his wife and family for a visit of a
couple of days, leaving the pet panther
and his nlother-in-law to keep house,
On his return his grief can be imagined
on,diseoyery that it was the panther that
| was dead, not the mother-in-law. The
| old lady had talked the poor animal to
death. 80 ~ et
THE India-rubber hustle" is again
theard from. This time it was Brook
| lyn young lady, who was thrown from
her carriage coming down the hill from
Prospect Park. She made 974 bounces,
in all, and was finally rescued, by a
hook and ladder company, from the
top of telegraph pole, where she had
stuck in attempting to complete the 96th
bounce. its GJli ioa bast,
A PoUGHKEEPsIE belle, who sported a 4
long cu1 and love of bonnet, visited !.
the menagerie the other day. She got
too close to the monkey cage; and her
mischievous prototype reached for that
curl. > He got it, and with it the rest Of
her false hair and her love of a bonnet.
The entire family of monkeys began to
wear the bonnet, and made sorry work
VI 1bS ,WA10 1tic t5iAk---WCAA5 "hbO' BIO enN
can be imagined. et.sfi-..
f. THE prosperous undertakerI of a.
Pneighboring town is shoemaker by
trade, and an acquaintance calling on
1 him few days since was surprised to-
find him seated at the bench, and peg
ging away at his former business.
Halo, G. - said the visitor, Sc I
thought you had left the care of soles
for that aof bodies" $50 / had, so {
had" said the carer of sole and body,
with an emphatic rap of his hammer
and q .sEndderi of the left eyelidJ
"But DE-, S., went TO Europe last
month, am the berrsin' business amt
wut' foHerins now. "srss p al
AN Irishma1i had a dream which
taught him the danger. of delay sc
dreamed" said he, "I was wild the
Pope, who was as great jintleman as
any one in the district, an he axed me
wad I drink. Thinks j, wad a duck
swim and SEEM the Innishowen and
lemon and sugar on the sideboard told
him Ididn't caresif tux a-wee dhrap Of
punch; Oowld or hot a1ed the Pope.
| Hot, your Holiness, I replied and be
that tShe stepped down to the kitchen dor
the bilin water, but before he got back
1 woke straight up. And now 1t s dis
/ tressing me i didn't take it eowld." III